The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-04-15

greatest Dau player in the. country.
But we shall fool him
So I gets into my store clothes an
starts out. 1t was dark when / got to
Hayville, and L go to the Hayville
House, McGinnis' headquarters. The
clerk wasn't behind the desk. probably
because he had to be bartender, clerk
bell boy and porter all at once, an
lOOkin' over the list o. names I saw
one signed at the bottom, in the we'll
known hand writin' of nv own Ge
partner. But the name want Peter
Haggerty. 1t was Reuben Hawkins.
L seen the number o the room was %
an hustled out.
l go round to the back o. the house
an locate the window o room %. There
it is, second story, no light an the
shutters open. 1 find a ladder an in
about two minutes I'm at the win
dow o Rube Hawkins room an 'appln'
on it, for it's locked. I slipped the
window ketch back with nv knife
blade and climbed in. After I'd nit
soaked him he opened his eyes an
says: What do you want?" I says.
"Hag, there's a terrible conspiracy
against YOU. Rube Hawkins is 10 to
Alfalfa film his pockets out O. your
faVorite cheroot box" I knew that'd
get him if anything would.
Go away" says he. "Rube Hawkins
is right here, an he don't smoke no
CherOots, neither. He smokes quarter
cigars, an they come around and ask
him what he'd like to have to cat to-
day. Go awav and let me Sleep
1t was dark in that room. just a lit
tie ray o light comm in the window.
but that room wasn't a thousaadth
part as dark rs my feelin's when I
heard my old side partner say theln
fatal words. An there was no raw O.
light, either
Wake up. YOU big dub" says [, Civ
in him another shake, I was so lesoe~-
ate You're Home Run Haggerty.
wake uD an come home with me-"
He did wake up and very mad. And
he lets out one O. his feet and kicks me
one in the side and I go roIlin' over
the floor with a crash an with that he
lets out yell o burglars 1 go oct
o the window like a strek an item
/ ketch myself quick and my breath too,
for the ladder was gone.
L dunno what made it do it. but the
Wlnder Slid down just then an I slide
over an hid benin one O. the shutters
an there was light come in the room
an I heard McGinnis say:
What's all this noise about Haw-
kins," and Hag, stttin' up in bed. SAYS:
WAS it a dream. or what was it? IT
must o beer a dream. I thought ]
seen that little red-haired shortstop on
the Alfalfas in this room tellin' me I
was Rome Kun f1dRReFtN-
'Shucks.' says McGfnnis Look at
me-" An then [ pulled myself up and
/ seen McGinniS stand lOokin' at Iae
and Hays eyes seemed to get dulIer
an dulIer. an then Tim passed Lis
hand couple o times across his face,
an says: eco to sleep, Rube HaW-
<ins, my ten thousand dollar beauty"
An then Hag sinks back an McGinnis
| goes chuckIin' out o the room.
/ dropped to the ground, hustled
home and told Josh, if ever a man was
downcast it was him. Our fake Hag-
gerty had gone to bed as natural as
life in my room an had left the light
burnin' for me- after smokin' two ci-
gars an Teadin' some. That was Has
all over But the long-legged, lanky
guy layin' there in the bed would
never get by any baseball crowd for
Home Run Haggerty.
Josh went to court the next mornin'
but he couldn't get no Injunction or
nuthin' to stop them putin Hag in
the ball game that afternoon. An
when the Judge heard the story he
said it was extraordinary an seemed
to think Josh was a liar. An all the
while Rube Hawkins. in the Alfalfa
House, he KEEP telIin' all hands what
he'd do to the poor ball that afternoon.
an got mad when we wouldn't listen
to him.
Down TO the Hayville grounds that
afternoon We found Hag battin' out
flies, under the name o Rube Haw-
kins, an the audience was on. They
couldn't understand how it all was.
They know'd Hag, an they know d
RUDE. How they could be a misft
trade they couldn't understand any
more than they could why the names
sh'd o traded, too. But they had got
q winner for a dead one, and it looked
like they'd win. An that's all a base
ball crowd wants. So they heaves in
peanuts an are happy
Rube Hawkins had logged after us
an put on a uniform, an wanted to
jump right in the game, but Josh
wouldn't let him play, so Reggie goes
out in left and Lamp goes in to pitch.
Well, to make a long story short