Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-05-19

written ior l. ne star
Talk about country jays In the city,
said the man In the corner. i've seen them
and laughed at them and pitied them; the
very last time 1 was in that vast over
grown, over rich. over praised, un-Ameri-
can settlement they call New York, I ran
across one of them
he looked like the prosperous self-re-
speeding American citizen that he was, and
when he attracted my attention was stand
Ing on the sidewalk where Liberty street
JOINS West street. He spoke to me apollo
getically; said he was ashamed of himself
and had lost his way and would show him
the way to the Liberty street ferry house.
Il was going that way and said I'd take
him along. Two minutes later-it took two
fuli minutes to cross the street-we were in
the 1erryhouse When he realized that he
had been lost not $50 feet away from the
very place he was seeking he was more
ashamed than ever, and apologized soma
more.
II quieted him by saying that I was no
New Yorker and that I had been pretty
badly mixed myself that morning farther
uptown. which was true. I assured him
that 1t was no worse to get lost in the COM
mercial jungle Of lower New York than In
the woods.
After we had boarded the ferryboat he
told how New York friend Of his had lost
himself year or two before in a fifteen
acre wood lot on the farm back home,
which was surely as amazing and inexcus-
able as 1t was for a man unused to New
York losing himself looking for certain
ferryhouse along the North river front.
City Gays" Amuse the Farmers.
Then I told him what happened to a
friend of mine. born and brought I'D in a
city, not New York. who married rather
late in life-he was about thirty-1ve-and
accepted the invitation of neighbor OF
mine to spend the honeymoon on hts farm.
This neighbor Of mine kept a few COWS
and MIXED them himself The first morn
ing of the city bridegroom's stay on the
farm he was up bright and early, anxious
to see milking and help about 1t If he could.
My friend told him to put on overalls and
jumper and come with him.
Now said the farmer. you're no green
horn in New York. but you are pretty
green about cows. and I wouldn't think OF
letting you try to milk one. But you may
hold the tails of the different cows while
l milk them and that will save the time OF
the hired man, who will feed the horses
while we are doing the milking, and Wen
gain half an hour on the days work that
way
The city bridegroom bit all right, and
after the farmer had settled himself COM
fertably on stool by the side Of one OF
the cows carefully grasped the animal 3
tail. What happened Is really indescrib-
able. and the farmer was as much sur
prised as the other man. In his nervous
mess. the latter either pulled or twisted
the cows tall in way that she didn't like,
and there was something doing without de-
lay. 81, -st.e
First thing sukey did was to shoot one
Of her hind feet backward with great force.
1t landed In the city mans abdomen, and
ought to have made him let go. But the
man hung on, and the COW began to kick
in all directions. ending up by starting On
mad career around the yard. The farmer
just missed being knocked over and tram
pied upon. as he deserved to be; the city
man didn't let go till he had been, dragged
half way round the place. and there was a
general hullabaloo which called the hired
man to the spot in time to see the fun.
He just leaned back and hee-hawed, while
the farmer and the city man stood ana
looked at each other and the COW and used
language. 1t was the city man who first
recovered his presence OF mind He ap-
preciated the joke and wasn't q bit angry
about 1t.
1T all worked out to the good OF the
city man, though, for the farmer, who had
planned to play a whole lot of practical
jokes on him concluded he'd had enough
and didn't try any more. Somehow-maybe
the hired man told--the story leaked out
and my neighbor hasn't heard the last Of
1t yet. He likes to tell good yarns on his
friends at the store. evenings, and every
body likes to hear him, but whenever he
gets too personal somebody is pretty sure
to shut him up by reminding him OF the