The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-01
He GOT OFF ONCE MORE.
Uncle Dan WeIaford, Who Fell From
Water Wagon, VIII Seek Religion.

Here you are again. said Judge Urmy
of the city police court this morning 70
/ Uncle Dam Welaf0rd- 'befo de war
vintage Of the southern darby, as the eIa
/ colored man slouched into the court room
with his eyes cast down sheepishly, swing
] ing his old hat by his side, charged Win
being drunk in public place.
What have You to say Tor yourselI :
When released you few weeks ago you
promised me faithfully that you would join
the church and never get drunk again,
and here you have been at your old tricks,
so 1 hear. What is the use Of showing
pity on an old scamp like you. when you
won't keep the promises that you make
one hundred dollars and then 1 would
know that, until the fine is worked out,
that you will keep your promise to leave
With the suggestion of one hundred
days the rock pile the old darby s eyes
began to roll and his mind seek for an
excuse that he had never tried before.
It's dis wy, 5edge,' he began. I Wuz
les a-takin a little bottle o lic'er to m
wife, an I knowed eff I WIZ ter have ma
part All must have it Wher she wouldn t
fin it, an not haven a nuther bottle, an
jes' thot ali drink it, but, jedge, ali was nj
drunk when all WIZ rested. All Wuz JeS
drivin' fer home as fast as ole January
cud take me, an all looks arOun an sees
the Derliee in wagon comm aILer me
an the horses runnin' lake mad an an
thot there wuz two wagons.
''Ah WuZ skeard an ah started January
on the trot to see eff all couldent make II
home, an when all wuz a loOkin' back my
wagon struck one Of dem holes IN de
pavement an all tumbIed out"
What made YOU run off then and leave
your horse and wagon and try TO get
away from the police?" asked the judge.
'Jedge, all wuz 1es' so skeared that an
couldn't stan still and de fust thin an
knoWed ali wuz runnin' ANY an de
perlece wuz arter me. an ali knoWd thar
want use ter stop All want drunk,
ledge. er else all couldn't have run aw Y.
But you fell down several times,
broke i'll Judge rfny, and would ike
to know how you account for that II you
were as sober as you claim you We're
We'll jedge, de pavement wuZ jes' as
bad as il cud be, an all couldn't help
stumblin' a little when all stepped in the
holes what all couldn't Jemp ovah- An
now. jedge about jinen tn church. all
tried as hard as all could, bit all jes'
couldn't make it. My women tole me dat
it want no use to jine less all had legin,
an all couldn't find 1t no Whar- Eff you
will let me 60 dis time, jedge, an prom
Use you ah viii go an search religtn an
all am sure all can find it dis time.
It may have been the story OF the old
darky who drives an old stock of bones
about the city in lieu of horse attach
ed to a dilapidated delivery wagon, that
caused the judge to weaken. or 1t may be
that he saw the justice of his complaint
about the pavement. At any rate he let
arrangements for the payment OF a fine,
which is about as hopeless a case as can
be imagined and told him to appear this
afternoon for sentence
There probably will not be any sentence
passed. and the old fellow given one more
chance to search for religion and join
the church and quit the ways of the evil
one, If he returns for sentence. as he said
that lie would and there is not an officer
of the force but that believes that he Will.
He has trIlcked ard drayed about the city
for a quarter of a century or more and
his only fault is that he viii occasionally
fall off the wagon. and this never hap
pens unless he is drunk, and then it III
variab1y happens and his arrest follows.