Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1906-04-06
SPIEGELScHREck AT PHONE.
Peculiar Message Makes a Bad Half.Hour for
the Butcher.

IuS outNtttTs
Spiegelschreck was as mild. man.
nered a butcher as ever scuttled a beel
or cut sleeps throat, and when the
telephone bell jingled merrily he took
down tie receiver with a broad Ger.
man smile, In expectation OF good
custom by wire.
This is Mrs. Smallwood," tinkled a
far-off feminine voice, "and 1 wish
you would send up nice porterhouse
steak for supper-one about two inc hes
thick with q collar ON and
long, white silky hair-about seven
years old, should say"
Spiegelschreck gasped in astonish.
ment, and the good-natured counten.
ance wore an air of puzzlement.
"Vot did you set?" he inquired. 81
guess l didn't gets id ride. We don't
got vot you wand, guess, if you wand
all you set"
Back came the voice to Spiegel.
schreck: said a poodle, with long,
white hair, and a collar on-about
seven years old"
" Ish she gone crazy" muttered
Spiegelschreck, rubbing one hand
nervously on his butchers apron and
clasping the receiver tighter to his
ear. II guess We don'd got vot you
vand," he answered. "Ve don'd got
very big demand vor pootles. Maybe
wand blain sissage."
"Who said anything about wanting
poodles?" came back a voice indig-
nantIy. "Have you been drinking,
Mr.. Spiegelschreck? I want a nice
porterhouse steak for supper"-pause
-" with long white hair and my
name on the collar"
Spiegelschreck eyed the telephone
curiously, wondering if it were playing
q trick upon him.
"Vot you wand iss a borderhouse," )"
he repeated; "but vat for do you
wand long, silky hair on id? We could
not gif you bOrderhouse NIT hair on
id. You wand der hsirdresser's. You
haf der wrong number, NIGHT wahr?"
81 will pay a large reward if you
get it for me-" came back the voice
over the wire. AZ would give fifty
dollars to have it back right now. l
want it so bad, poor little lost thingl"
"Py chiminy! dot woman is crazy!"
declared Spiegelschreck in alarm.
Then he replied: AZ couldn't gif you
a borderhouse mid long hairs ON id
und sefen years olt if you paid q hum
dred dollar. You bedder delefone to
der MEDICAL college. Vot you wand is
mummies."
"Mr. Spiegelschreck," came back q
voice quivering with indignation, "you
are certainly intoxicated! I shall tell
my husband to send you q check for
your bill, and you will be bothered no
more with our CUSTOM"
Here was fresh trouble. The SMALL
woods were good customers, but the
courtesy due good custom has its
limits. Who ever heard of q porter
house steak seven years old, with long,
white hairf Spiegelschreck had not,
aud he was a pretty good butcher, too.
al peg yer bardon," Spiegelschreck
responded, bud blease order again vot
you wand und says it blsin. l dinks
meiu ueaHlu 10 pau dncotys
Z" A poodle, l said" came back the
voice, with long, white hair and my
name ON the COLLAR"
"Dit you wand id for subber9"
gasped Spiegelschreck.
"Central, who is that crazy dutch.
man on the liner snapped out sharp
voice. "Pm talking with the bust.
ness Office Of the Bugle, and adver-
tising for lost dog. Please tell Mr..
Lagerbier to ring Off"
"You are crazy yourself!" yelled
Spiegelschreck. You wand q border
house steak nit WOOL ON id like q
sheep. Voss iss los NIT your"
Central" came another voice,
can't I order q porterhouse steak
without getting q whole dog kennel on
the linef Hello, Mr.. Spiegelschreck,
helloW
Spiegelschreck had fled. "Louie," }"
he said to the boy, "der wire iss full
nit crazy vimmens. Dey want border
house steaks NIT WOOL on 'em. Don'd
60 near der delefone. lam going oudt
to get some schnapps."