The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-03-25
w NO WHISPERS?
An English Humorist on the Advan-
tage Some Great Men Take
of Their Greatness.
BIZ PRANK RIc lBpsoS.

Why wear whiskers?
This is a question which must nave oc-
CURED to every thinking man and woman
yet on this matter it Is almost Impossible
to obtain any authoritative Information
II you ask a man why he wears whlskers
or ask a mans wife why she allows him TO
wear whiskers you get no
It is possible that you may get abuse.
Obviously these strange fittings serve
no good purpose. Although l have seen
men who cultivate such monstrous crops
that they resemble fins, yet 1t is probable
that they are useless for swimming pur-
poses. .
Again, 3 o the motorist they are a distinct
inconvenience They get filled with dust
Why does no enterprisinG inventor pro-
duce nosebags for whiskers? Made OF
sponge bag material and in various sizes
and produced at a reasonable hgure' l
think considerable business might be lone
in Whisker bags for motorists.
As a matter of fact, for all outdoor amuse-
ments and pursuits the whisker is a distinct
inconvenience
Some years ago there was a famous
cricketer, a man known by the name OF
Cock Robin, who cultivated his face fungus
TO such an extent that before bowling 1t
was his practice TO tie his natural ivy
behind his head. A quaint practice truly,
and one calculated to alarm the batsman.
I am not much Of a cricketer myself, but
I am quite sure / should CRY aloud for help
II 1 were bowled at by a trundler who looked
| like an animated star[lsh.
For their utility, therefore, 1t seems to me
that nothing can be said. AS to their
aesthetic value that, obviously, Is nil. A
statue OF a god In whiskers would scarcely
appeal either to ones artistic or TO ones
devotional sense. 1t would be quite as
bad al the statue Of Mr.. Palmer with the
umbrella at Reading.
Mr.. Algernon Ashton lately approached
a leading newspaper in search Of a deci sion
as to whether the majority OF the worlds
celebrated men were clean shaven or
bearded. He stated that his appeal to
that journal was the result Of a discussion
with a friend on the point. However, he
provided a list Of celebrated clean shaven
men and also of celebrated beavers, as
bearded men are technically termed. Mr.,
Ashton was inclined to the belief that the
bulk of the worlds celebrities were bearded,
while his friend took the other view.
At the outset of this interesting con-
VeTS0IlOU IL tReHlS 10 IH6 NAV WI. ftSlNoi
and his friend should nave come to some
definite understanding as to the meaning
of the word beard With regard to the
Interpretation Of clean shavcn'-that is
to say "entirely shaved" as to cheek and
chin and throat it would seem that there
could not possibly be two opinions.
Yet Mr.. Ashton's disputant has seen
ct to include in his list Of eminent men
who wore their faces nude the Duke Of
Wellington Tin latter life, at least, a wearer
Of cotton wool fittings on his cheek bones),
! Sir John Millais "a confirmed whisker
wearer to the day Of his death, and Mr..
Joseph Chamberlain Ian Intermittent
whisker wearer, at any rate, until the age
! Of 35). In this connection 1t Is interesting
TO recall the fact that he wrote somewhere
in the EOS a farce in one act called Who's
Who?"
This admirable exercise in dramaturgy
contains o significant oatchword. placed
1, the mouth Of a fem ale servant, "Oh, loci
at his whisherses!" The little payer covered
volume is very rare and Is much sought
| after by the admirers Of the ex-Colonial
S Secretary and enthusiastic whiskerateurs.
| have said enough to show that Mr..
Ashton's opponent has not dealt fairly
with him. 1t is not here necessary for me
to instance the number of other persons
included in his list, who at some portion
to the production OF the works that have
made them famous) wore hair upon their
] faces. s
Had Mr.. Ashton selected an authority
who had directed more attention to the
SUI ject under discussion, his own letter
would have been infinitely more valuable
! than it ia. / a I'm not flaming MIR. Ashton.
l am blaming his anonymous friend. a
friend who-it seems to me-was entirely
unworthy to join the hirsute symposium.
Now, as to Mr.. Algernon Ashton and his
definition Of the word heard" Obviously,
it is far too comprehensive.
BY beard" this eminent hterdteur an
rarently understands anything in the way
OF natural ivy that grows upon the human
face.
Possibly he hns been mislcd by the
! Century Dictior a'y:
Beard 1. The cl ose growth of hair on the
chin and parts OF the face normally charac-
teristio of an adult man; more specifically
the hair OF the face and chin when allowed
to remain wholly or in part unshaved, that on
the upper lip being distinguished as the
mustache. and the remainder as the whiskers,
or the side whiskere. chin whlskers, or beard,
&c.
No doubt it Is this popular and entirely
ific work which led Mr.. Ashton
into the error Of regarding almost any sort
Of hair fitting as a beard; therefore it IL that
ms eIJOh6 u MT. SidustOIc, DlSHdTCh, UOnn
Bright, Lord Beaconsfield, Richard Wagner,
Herbert Spencer, Arthur Balfour. Sir
William ;Haroourt and Rudyard Kipling
as bearded men,"
Sir William Harcourt was no more bearded
than Millais was, Disraeli wore a fancy
fitting on his chin: but surely, surely.
it was not a beard. John Bright woreLto
put it at its worst-a chin whisker; he was
in no sense a bearded man. Gladstone
harbored some slight hirsute exorescence
beneath his chin: but did any EXPERT ever
allude 10 him as a bearded polr ician =
| even in conversation with the laityY I
doubt it. I doubt it very much.
These, again, are but examples of the
, many errors into which Mr.. Ashton fell in
his discussion with his friend. Had Mr..
Ashton's friend possessed more technical
knowledge of the subject he would, lam
sure, have been more careful In marshall :
ing his forces Of celebrities in boards.
A bearded man" is in my humble opinion
humble, though I nave devoted a life
time TO the subject, and therefore cnn
afford to srenk on the matter with a cert o IN
air of humility which in another man
might be deemed egotism--a male person
who allows all the hair bulbs on his fees
to grow to their fullest extent. :" For the
purposes Of this act a beard includes also,