Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-03-29
Man About Town.


Good deal of building going to bedone
in town the coming summer. One OF
our citizens has plans for house with
hot and cold steam heat-running
water tubs-and a stationary elevator.
Summer time is coming when you
long for your outing and your outing
makes you short for the following
winter.
We meet queer people in our pream-
bulations; one man tells us when he
wants to know what time it is he looks
at his watch; says his brother lives
mostly on food and his father has not
slept in acradle for fifty years a lady
says her husband comes straight home
from up town, but don't always come
home straight; says he is a good deal
like this month of March, comes in like
a lion but goes out like lamb.
-
Our evangelical friend tells us we
are here to keep others; will some one
rise mp and explain what others are
here for.
A man told DR.. Falk he was troubled
with cold feet and asked him what he
would suggest; an open gas fire said
the doctor; one dollar please.
-
Ye editor says when he make up his
weekly pay roll there is the devil to
pay
A man in Uncle Peters was saying
he called man liar and thief and
would smash his nose for ten cents;
what did he say asked Peter, | don't
know said the fellow l hung up the
'phone.
We read the Tobacco Trust has got
to produce their books in court; people
will then have an opportunity to learn
something about the value of the cab
bage crop.
Amos Stebbens a New England
banker is 100 years old and has never
been indited. His picture should be
hung in every school house.
.Ts
A man in Remove who lost both his
legs in a railroad accident, has run
away with a farmers daughter; would
emit YOU like to see that fellow running.
An Italian was found dead in Dubois
the other day, the coroner searching
his body found in one of his pockets
S25 i'm money and in another stiletto;
the money was turned over to the
court, which accepted it and fined the
man S25 for carrying concealed
weapons
We had a little winter the past week,
made one long for the lawn mower and
when the lawn mower comes, we long
to grease the snow shovel and push it
awhile.
Perseverance without intelligence
don't amount to much in this world; a
hen can set on a porcelain egg year
without any results.
~
When our thoughts wander into
the dim past we come to the conclus-
ion we had our best times when we
hadn't sense enough to know it.
~
Tennison says; 'In the spring the
young mans fancy gently turns to
thoughts of love-" Brother Pyle dis
agrees with him and in order to prove
he is right is willing to have his
thoughts examined
~
Our professor says the beauties of
education in this county are our school
marms.
~
At the weekly meeting of the
Windowsill Club the question, "Will
the Automobile ever Displace the
Horse" was decided, it will if it ever
hits him; also that the letter II comes
from He'll; the cause of the death of the
Dead Sea was not decided.
~
The pen is mightier than the sword,
especially the one Ye Editor uses in
signing checks.
A man in Scranton was shot in the
post office; will some of our anatonists
please inform US in what part of the
body is the post Office.
Brother Henley in the gas Office il
troubled with his eyes; says he sees
double most of the time Oculists tell
Us it is disease peculiar to those who
read gas meters.
a.
Mike Hogan says his reputation rests
in the butter he sells; a customer re.
marked IL the last ! got of YOU was a
sample, your reputation rests on q
strong foundation.
a sign in down town saloon reads.
Bottled whiskey, 10