The Cairo bulletin., 1906-06-06
Uncle Bertrarn's
Curate
(Copyrlsht, By Joseph u. Bowlss. J
~ snIRLIANA

| Uncle Bertram would bave,a curate
HE parish, which all told, only mus
ters 500 souls, did not really want one
and we--mOther, Constance, Georg
and I--certain1y- did not want one. Blu
1t. was no use. Uncle had made up hi
mind to 1t and nothing would hav'
stopped him. 1t was one of his new
fads.
must tell you that mother is ;
widow, and, with us, keeps house To-
our bachelor uncle. AS long as | car
remember, the rectory had been oul
home.
We all--except Constance, who Il
| Just IT,, and sentimental--tried thu
usual amount of arguments, and we all
OF course, failed, as we usually die
when Uncle Bertram was bent upor
some new scheme But the shadow. Of
this latest fad hung over our heads
! with unusual heaviness; and when the
| following advertisement appeared In
| the leading church paper we felt that
the new trouble was indeed upon us:
Wanted, by a country rector, a
| young curate. No objection TO one
fresh from the university to whom a
title might be given. Broad-minded
preferred. offered: board and resi-
dence IN charming old rectory, with
small salary. Dry, bracing climate.
Plenty Of spare time could be guaran'
teed Tennis, golf, boating, bathing,
hockey, bicycling riding. driving, mo-
toring, and the use Of stables.
Uncle had no less than 30 replies to
his advertisement. Oh! those replies!
Some of them were worth keeping.
After much consideration uncle weed
ed them down to five. And then the
fun began.
The FIVE selected candidates were
each requested to come, in turn, to
have a personal interview; and as we
are ten miles from the nearest railway
station. we had to put each of them up
for the night.
The first, Mr.. Lovelace, a delicate,
poeticaI-looking man, arrived on Bit
terly cold day. After the ten miles in
our pony cart. with ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS in
a stubborn mood, Mr. Lovelace pre-
scented fcrlorn appearance indeed. ]
was sure that Uncle Bertram had
tried his best to be CHEEKY and equally
sure that he failed signally all along
the way.
"Ah" he said, as he brought his
drenched victim into the hall, now
that we're home at last, Mr.. Lovelace,
all the trials of the journey will be for
gotten"
We were all In the hall and Con-
stance looked compassionately at the
half-drowned man, who rolled his eyes
towards hers as though he deserted In |
them the only kindred spirit Mother |
said she hoped he had not taken cold, |
that she had ordered fire in his bed |
room, and that tea would be ready
soon
After he had become few degrees
less cold and few shades less blue,
at a given signal-a cough from I'm
Gle Bertram-we all left the drawing.
room. that the rector and his select
never heard exactly what passed
between them, but after about an hour
and half uncle came out of the draw
ing room, excited and rather cross,
and said to mother in the dining room:
"Mr. Lovelace has taken a chill and
will retire to his room at once. He
would like a small quantity of quaker
pats, some sweet spirits of nitre, and
hot water bottle.
Then he returned TO the drawing
room. left the door open and said to
Mr. Lovelace: There is very good
express train early in the morning. and
10 doubt, with this chill, you will be
glad to get back to your aunt in Ion
ion as soon as possible"
Uncle. nothing daunted. speedily ar
'anged for the next man, Mr.. Robin
rom Nottingham, to come on approval.
rhe fates were kinder to him, mas
much as he arrived on a fine warm
lay; and Nebuchadnezzar. driven by
only person who can make
lin go-came home in his best style.
Uncle, who hates monotony, had this
fine arranged quite different plan of
Tea was sent In. for them in the ,
tudy and Constance Though for thatJ ,
natter all Of US. but Constance espe-
ially). for obvious reasons was kept
ut OF the way as much as possible
However. We Cleaned a good deal ,
bout Mr.. Robin from George. who had +,
OF wasted the opportunities afforded 4,
y ten miles drive. /,
Hes a bounder," said George, "and !,
ant possibly do. His chief reason for !
splyfns to the advertisement was that
e might live In a reetory." a
Mother - poor mother - said she
oped he had been vaccinated and =
'ished she had not given him the best
pare room. -s..
The atmosphere seemed charged
fth possibilities, and We wondered =,
Nv long Uncle Bertram would keep ;,
i'm bottled up in the study. After a ? :,
me our patience and curiosity were a
.lieved. for when uncle came to us !.
w by his face that the mans fate !,