The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-11-03

What happens when people fall iu
love at first sight?" Usually marriage
and second sight"
do you think he will make her a
good husbandY mo, 1 think she will
make him good husband"
she-Sir, If you attempt to kiss me
shall call for help. He-For help?
Why, my dear girl. am capable Of do
Ing it alone Answers.
Candid Friend-You will have to
work hard to win an heiress. Impe-
cunious One-I'll have to work a Jolly
sight harder still If l don't-Tit-Bits.
Mrs. Aijen-Oh, really, that's nice
And did he truly say didn't show my
age? Mrs. Cutting-Well-er- said
you were always very careful to conceal
it.
Jason-Many a wise word is spoken
In jest. Mason-Yes; but they can't
compare with the number of foolish
ones spoken in earnest.-CasselrsJ Jour-
nal.
Hello, old man, and how do you en-
Joy married life, eh? Ever have any
differences of opinion with your wife,"
Eyes, but l don't let her know about
them"
Father (sternly)-So you've failed
again in your examinations! How do
you explain that? SOn-Because they
went and asked me the same questions
as before
Customer Cat bookstore)-Have you
work on the art of letter writing?
New Salesman-No, sir. l should think
you could learn that at any correspond
ence school.
Fred (sadly)-It's no use told
your father that couldn't live without
you. Edith-And what did he say to
that? Fred-Oh. he offered to pay my
funeral expenses.
She-That's all very pretty, Jack {;
but do you think we can live on love
and kisses? He-It's much the safest
everything else is either adulterated,
or poisoned. Or tainted.-Life.
what are you going to call your
versesY" asked Joakley. "'A Broken
Vase" replied Rimer. "Ah! that re-
minds me of a little thing servant
girl of ours dashed off the other day"
She-And are you really SO much
better since you returned from abroad?
He-Yes. I'm quite another man. She
We'll, I'm sure all your friends will
be delighted to hear it! And he is now
wondering if she meant anything.
George ring doesn't seem to fit
very we'll, Clara. Hadn't l better take
it back and have it made smaller?
Clara-No, George; an engagement ring
is an engagement ring, even If l had to
wear it around my neck.-Tit-Bits.
Father Cat head of stairs) -Ethel,
| what time is it? Ethel Tin the draw
| ing room)-It's a quarter past ten,
father. Father-All right. Don't for
get to start the clock again after the
young man goes out to get his break
| fast.
Laird-Well, Sandy, you are getting
very bent. Why don't you stand straight
ND like me, man? Sandy-Eh. mon. do
| you see that field O. corn over there?
81 do" "Weel, yell notice that tho
full heids hang down, and the empty
ones stand up"
1--WE come to the conclusion" said
the mild pessimist, that must have
| been born great" "You don't say!' re-
| marked Sinnickson. Eyes; at any rate
there doesn't appear to be any chance
of my achieving greatness or having 1t
thrust upon me-"
A certain popular preacher is very
| absent-minded. One day his wife came
into his study crying in agony. "Oh! l
have swallowed pin!" He smiled ten
derby: Don't worry, my dear" he said,
as he fumbled at his waistcoat,, 'here'
here is another pin!
She-Here's an interesting story OF
a man who begged to be sent to prison
IN Mace of his wife. He-Aha! and yet
YOU always declare that men are never
se,f-sacrifcing She this mans
wife happened to be washerwoman'
and II she went to prison he'd have to
| work Smiths Weekly.
In Good Season.
. n,ace in New Jersey the town