Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-12-22

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her for her money!" "She does
Cleveland Press.
Every man has his faults, but no
man has as many as his wife thinks he
has-Chicago Record-H Herald.
Weren't YOU fred by the college
spirit when at Yale?" NO BY the
president. - Cleveland Press
win they hang the prisoner2' Not
yet. His lawyers managed to hang
the jury. - Baltimore American.
Il would share your every sorrow"
But | have no SORROWS" Wait till
we're married. Cleveland Leader.
"You kiss like an expert" said the
ipretty maid. How do you know
do?' Iueried the mere man.--Chicago
News
How much did he make out OF that
latest graft scheme?' "A clean mil
lion" You mean u million. "---Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Hoyle--l hear that your SON
had to leave college. Mrs, Doyle
Yes he studied too hard. learning the
football signals.-puck.
What 40 you think of this theory
OF living out OF doorsf' 1T all de-
ponds ON whether YOU leave the house
voluntarily, or are put out, Detroit
Free Press
Bobby, did YOU have good time
at the picnicf" Yes, mother" why
didn't YOU stay until 1t was over2"
What was the Use, mother? We were
through eating - Milwaukee Sentinel.
Alas! :" sighed the poet. 1--WE can
no longer keep the wolf from the door"
"Oh. ! don't know rejoined his wife.
You might sit on the front step and
read one of your poems aloud, Chi
cago Daily News
''rhe anclents thought the world
was hat" well. / don't blame 'em.
They had no chorus girls, no cigar
cites, no bridge, no society Journals.
1t must have been In those days
Philadelphia Bulletin
Mr. Nervous ! love the smell of mo-
tor cars, Hostess Really? What an
extraordinary taste Why do you
like it? Mr. Nervous Because when
you smell IT You know the dangers
past Topeka journal.
Here's something about the Dutch
stealing one Of the Philippine Islands.
| wonder what Uncle Sam Will do
about ltT' Wen, II would serve them
right II he refused TO take It back. -.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
II suppose you motto IL. BE sure
you're right, and then 30 ahead
Not In the financial game" answered
MIR. Dustin StaI. My motto Is, BE
SIRE you're ahead; then you're all
right Washington star
well, Tommy" said the visitor. Il
suppose you like going to schoolT'
oh, yes answerer Tommy, Il like
goin all right, and like comm home.
hut IT'S stayin' there between times
that makes me tired Chicago News.
No Nerve Chuggerton--IIow's your
new chauffeur? Carr-~IIad TO fire him;
he used TO be q mOtOrnan Chugger-
ton-Too reckless eh2 Carr-Reck-
less. nothing! Why | couldn't break
him Of the habit OF slowing up at
crossings u Puck.
Ascum IL your boss going to give
YOU the raise you asked forF Clark
Well erin afraid 10 say told
him thought my pay should be COM
menurate with the amount of work
do aod he promptly agreed with me
Philadelphia Press
Fo0tpad with revolver) Hold up
yer hands Victim can go
through me n You want to. but I'll
be dad dingcd II I'm going TO hold up
my hand any more! I'm tired of doing
n. You're the third since / left the
lodge Chicago Tribune.
They nay you allow your husband
to carry latch key now so do.
But the key doesn't fit the door. |
iuat lei him carry IT to humor him
lie likes to show It to his friends, you
know. and make them think he's indie
pendent Los Angeles Times.
III We please, mum" said the ancient
hero. IN an appealing voice, as he stood
nc the back door Of the cottage on
washday, i've lost my leg Well,
aiu't got 1t. snapped the woman
aerccIy. And the door closed with "A
bang Ladies, Homo Journal.
Al applicant tor thr pos; Of mis-
tress In country school waa asked.
what is your position Ia regard to the
whipping Of rmldrcnt' She replied
My usual position l- oH q ch1ir with
tie child held mm}y across Wy kuces,
face downward Rural World
You'll find I'm barI 20 discourage
said the persistent -u.fpr melpdramat-