The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-08
HVMOR OF THE DAY

HVMOR OF TIE DAY
e .ess. ===-=s===s--====@g
..,rbe turkey is a very greedy bird"
wrote little Bessie n her ealn5osi,tloli.
s.The one we had for our Ihallhssttlli
dinner had eaten more tnan Two au''t'@
of oysters Judge.
Tramp Cpiteously)-Please help cripple
at this festive season. sir:
Kind Old Gent Chandiag him some lao1-
cyl-Blcss me. why. 81 course. no" alS
you crippled. nay poos fellow? r-,-
= Tramp Cpocketing the money)-ElIlssn
l'irris
Miss OUTFLOW many Christmas pres
Miss Pr:y-Twenty- and Just think t,als
how lucky I was I've found wnat tney
all cost except three.-Town ropes
Master-Franciscoi
Master-co to the theater and bring me
an orchestra seat.
Servant-ImpOss1ble sir. 1Hey are aA
nailed to the hoors.-Eales
was he calm and collected when the
boiler explosion occurred -,,-,,+ ,,,,+ thew
well, he was calm. all rlgnts put liiey
never did get him all collected. '-Cleve-
land Leader
my wife has tender nature"
she got some eggs at the grocer's the
other day and hadn't the heart 70 peat
them-they were so old. '-Clevel"nd Plain
Dealer.
beg pardon. sir" said the waiter, with
outstretched palm, but haven't you for
gotten something2" CO.
No" replied the departing guest. but
I'm tryin' to forget It, Good day.'-Phiia-
delphia Ledger.
The first canary had discovered that it
had vOice and was proceeding to use II.
DO you think you can sing?' sneered
''' wen 75aii should tuitter!" said the ca
Which. in order to make good. it I'M .
mediately began to do.-Chicaso tribune
Il understand you played a solo at the
musical last night
true ne But everybody talked. Louis
Vile Courier Journal.
''I fear I shall not be able to attract
much attention. said the new congress
Don't worry answered Senator sor-
ghum. "in this era of accusations and in
designations It is sometimes a luxury not
to be noticed. Washington Star.
New Yorker-We Yankees are ahead of
you English in everything
Cockney-'OW about welconin IN the
New Year? Guess we are ahead of you
several hours.-Ex.
THAT man Is q very witty Yellow"
We'll he's a chemist; he ought to be-
What has that to do with his wit?''
ready ' Wth c' TetoT Bs Si1 es A ia
can.
First visitor-singular 80 many Boston
girls wear glasses. Is 1t on account OF de-
fective visIen, wonder7
Second VisitoS-Nc. pructshness-they
think i iraproper to appear IN public with
the naked cye.''-Esx.
scott-IIere is an English woman visit
ing Us who says all voices have colors.
Thus the voice of a drinking man is a
EIott]vo;ce nothing, That's his breath.
Elk
Brisgs-I have resolved 10 give up drink
ing after NeE. years day.
csriggs-Hou don't really mean 1t?
Briggs-I hope not.
Toss-EneInios are yoae You con't say?
Jesse she did, and she loves me not.
now--Ex.
Ne1l--Maud saws she gets her good looks
from her mother
BELIEF had no idea her mother was so
stingy- Philadelphia Record
Hardup-II never go to that restaurant
again. The last time was there man
got my overcoat and left his in its place
Weloff-But the proprietor wasn't 10
TTardup-No. but I might meet the other
rnaiI.-Talcs.
The Evangelist Hocdoo-The desperate
man, weary Of life, opened an upper win
dow in the slzyscraper and threw himself
out. He landed on top OF a load of mat
tresses with which e seamster happened
to be driving along 1T the moment.
Hang the luckt he exclaimed, as he
rose to his feet. shook himself. and found
he was practically uninjured. I might
have known this would be the result OF
jumping from the thirteenth floori"--Cht-
cago Tribune.
Mrs. McSosh-Do you moan to tell me,
sir. that you were sober when you came
home last night2
BTr McSosh-Ab soiutely. my dear
Mrs McSnsh-Then viii you explain
why you filed the refrigerator with coal
and put six shovelfuls OF ice IN tne fur
nace2-Cleveland Leader.
she--And. do you really love ne for my
self alonez
He-sure. That's Why don't want your
mother to live with us after we ere mar
rled--Somervillc Journal.
Ie--HeIIo. cid man. understand nat
after graduating Mt Yale yos snert s5s-
wears among the German medical unvef-
sites.
CsoIeeian-And two in London.
n il5s-WelI. well5 s'pose you're through
Collegiall-No; am just beginning a
three weeks course on operating a troilev
car.-Pittsburs Post.