The Washington times., 1906-08-05

theCaey' was the best shot / could
make at IL IN my mind. The hypothe-
ticai goes. I'll state the case sup
pose there's woulan-a deuced me
looking woman-who has run away
from her husband and homer She's
badly mashed on another man who
went 70 her town 70 work up some
real estate business. Now, We may as
well call this woman's husband
Thomas r. billings. for that's his
name. I'm giving you straight tips on
the cognomens. The LothaTto chap IS
Henry X. Jessup. The Billingses lived
to little town called SuSRnVille-a
good many miles from here. Now, Jes-
sun leaves Susanvilie two weeks ago
The next day Mrs. Billings follows
him. She's dead gene on this man
Jessup: you can bet your law library
on that"
Lawyer GOoch's client said this with
such unctuous satisfaction that evan
the callous lawyer experienced a slight
ripple OF repulsion. lie now saw clear
ly in his fatuous visitor the conceit OF
the lady. killer. the egotistic complac-
ency Of the successful trifer.
Now" Contiued the visitor. sup
at homer Wen say she and her hus-
band din't gee worth cent They've
got i1compaubility 70 burn. The things
she likes Billings wouldn't have as a
gift with trading stamps. It's Tabby
and Rover with them all the time.
She's an educated woman In science
and culture. and she reads things out
loud at meetings. Billings is not on.
He don't appreciate progress and
obelisks and ethics. and things OF that
sort Old Billings Is simply a blink
when II comes 10 such things. The
lady IS out-and-out above his class.
Now. lawyer. don't It look like a fair
equalization OF rights and wrongs UEt
a woman like that should be allowed
10 throw down Billings and take che
man that can appreciate herr
"Incompatbility." said Lawyer
GOOCh. rs undoubtedly the source OF
much marital discord and unhappiness.
Where Il Is positively proven. divorce
would seem TO be the equitable rem
edy. Are yOu-excuse mo-is this man
Jessup one 10 whom the lady may
safely trust her future2'
oh you can bet on Jessup." said
the client. with a confident wag u his
head. 'Jessups all right Hen do
the square thing. Why. he left Susan
vile 10 keep people from talking about
Mrs. Billings. But she followed him
up. and now. OF course. he'll stick 20
her. When she gets Il divorce, all
legal and proper Jessup IL do the
proper thing"
And now" said Lawyer Gooch.
continuing the hypothesis. II you pre-
fer. and supposing that my services
should be desired IN the case.
what
The client rose impulsiveiy to his
feet
'Oh, dang the Hypothetical busl-
ness he exclaimed. impatientIy.
let's let her drop, and get down 10
straight talk. You ought to know who
am by this time. ! want that woman
20 have her divorce. III pay for Il.
The day YOU set Mrs. Billings free III
pay you $500"
Lawyer Gooch's client banged his
fist upon the table TO punctuate his
generosity.
IF that is the case" began tina
lawyer.
Lady 10 see you, sir" bawled Arch
ibald, bouncing in from his anteroOm.
He had orders 10 always announce i'm
mediately any client that might come.
There was no sense in turning bust
ness away.
Lawyer Gooch took client number
one by the arm ana led him suavely
into one OF the adjoining rooms.
Favor me by remaining here a few
minutes, sir, he said. Il will return
and resume our consultation with the
least possible delay. / am rather ex-
pecJing a visit from a very wealthy
old lady in connection with "a viii. /
will not keep YOU waiting long
The breezy gentleman seated himself
with oblgiug acquiescence. and took
up a magazine. The lawyer returned
TO the middle office, carefully closing
behind him the connecting door.
show the lady in, Archibald" ne
said 10 the Office boy, who was await
ing the order.
a tall lady, OF commanding presence
and sternlv handsome. entered the
room. She wore robes-robes. not
clothes-ample and fluent In her eye
could be perceived the lambent fame
of genius a0d soul Ia her hand was
a green bag Of the capacity OF a
bushel, and an umbrella that also
seemed 10 wear a robe, ample and
fluent She accepted a chair
Are YOU Mr., Phineas G. Gooch. the
lawyer" she asked. I'm formal aad
unconciliatory tones.
Il am" answered Lawyer G0cch,
without circumloca ton. He never cir
cumlocuted when dealing with a wo-
man. Women ci-cumlocute. Time IS
wasted when both sides in a debate
employ tie same tactics.
AS a lawyer, sir" began the lady.
you may have acquired some knowl-
edge Of the human heart DO YOU be-
licve that the pusillanimous and petty
conventions OF our artificial social life
should stand as an obstacle in the way
OF a noble and affectionate heart when
ii finds its true mate among the miser-
able and worthless wretChes IN the
world that are called men?"
Madam" said Lawyer GoOCh. in the
tohe that he used in curbing his female
clients, this is an office for conduct
ius tho practice Of law. I an lawyer.
ana not a philosopher, nor the editor
cf an Answers % the Love-loru'
column of newspaper. I have other
clients waiting. I win ask YOU 10
kindly come To the point"
We'll, You needn't get so stiff around
the Eiils about. it," said the lady, with
"a snap Of her luminous eyes and =