davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
GIRL GOOD AD. WRITER.
, Kansas City Star.

From the Kansas City Star
 American girls who are anxious to se- cure husbands might find valuable ex- ample in the method of a Japanese girl who inserted the following advertisement in her home paper
 I am very pretty girl. My hair is as wavy as a cloud My complexion has the brilliancy and softness of flower. My expression Is as mobile as the leaf of the weeping willow. My brown eyes are like two crescents of the moon. I have enough worldly goods to pass happily through life with my husband. hand In hand, gag ing at the flowers by day and the moon by night. If this should meet the eye of a man who is intelligent amiable and of good address. l will be his for life. and repose with him later ill d tomb of red marble.
 An advertisement of this sort would be far more artistic than the usual matri- monial "ad'' in this country, and should produce results
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

cult, as he correctly says, to establish ones sincerity.
 Let no one think that Mir Hearst. with his vast resources and yaster co1l- stituencies, is 10 cease to be factor in politics. He proposes to advocate the principles of reform that he has always stood for, and his influence will grow as the years go on. He is a factor in politics of large weight and growing proportions, and skilled observers of American affairs recognize his position, and some of them are seeking in vain for adequate means of ombatting it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
SHE HAS SNAILS FOR PETS.
From the Chicago Post.

From the Chicago Post.
 IT has remianed for a Chicago woman
 to establish the first snailery in the ! United States. The experimentalist in small culture Is Mrs. E. Shepard, 71OS Stewart avenue. Her collection probably is the most complete of its kind in the new world. The gems are two mammoth South African specimens with spiral chambers almost as large as conch shells.
 These two giant snails, which, by the way, are named Elizabeth and Henry, promise to bring up an interesting family. Hidden away beneath successive layers of damp leaves are several eggs as large as moth balls. The little prisoners will be released probably next May. unless the tropic climate of the hothouse brings them out before that time.
 Mrs Shepard has constructed a nina tGre conservatory for her pets, and she has adapted the temperature to their natural environment.
 50 long as you keep them warm and damp" she said yesterday they will get along beautifully. But let the frost get in and they will hide themselves within their shells and sleep the sleep of the dead. Just for an experiment put one snail on ice Within few min utes it had drawn a nc zane over the mouth of it's shell as tight as a drum head. It slept for several months with out eating or breathing, out when took it out and warmed up in moist room it came to life and frisked around as gay as kitten.
 You can do the same thing with the eggs. Snails' eggs are almost indestruet- able. Recently. by applying moisture, l batched out one that had been laid ten years ago, and so far MT. Snail has shown no i'll effects as the result of his unjust imprisonment, Think of his having waited all that time to be born. He cer-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
Fees or Salaries.

The grand jury over which eX-Mayor Drennen presided says in it's report that this county is poorly administered, and it recommends that some of the higher officials of this county be placed on salaries"
 This may be possible and then again it may not be. The constitution of 1901 contains a Little Joker, as fol- lows:
 "The legislature shall not enact any law not applicable to all the counties in the state. regulating costs and charges of courts, or fees, commissions or allowances of public officers"
 The provision quoted is section 96 of the new constitution. How it was writ ten into the constitution, is but one of the secret and underground chapters of that instrument The putting of lief ferson and Winston counties, for ex- ample, on one basis would be ludicrous if it were not solemn fact
 Possibly a bill could be passed per hitting all the counties to vote, if they were so minded, upon salary proposi- tions. In that way perhaps, Jefferson could adopt salaries while Winston would continue to pay officers in fees.
 Whatever plan is adopted must at any rate be as broad as the state itself in order to meet the terms of section 96 of the constitution.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

In another column will be found a card from President Robert Jemison of the Birmingham Railway, Light and Power company regarding the incident on the North Bessemer line which re. suited In the arrest of the Rev. T. w Walker, one of the most highly re- spected colored men of this community read with interest. There is less fric ton between the races in Birmingham than in most southern cities, and there is no reason why it should be other wise.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
PRESS POINTS

Columbia State: Boston limits the height of it's buildings but not of it's domes of intellect.
 Chattanooga News: Birmingham com plains that her water rate is too high Why not try the Kentucky plan and leave water out?
 Boston Post: Somebody wants to know if it is proper to speak of Count Boni as His Grace" His Disgrace would seem more appropriate.
 Louisville Courier-Journal; Romeo and other lovers who figure in classic litera- ture were more ardent than Count Gas tellane, but what he lacked in fire he made up in range
 Memphis commercialAppeal: No won der Memphis is healthy when the doc tors of three states make the city their annual camping ground. Any old disease would take fright at this formidable dis play of an enemy and take to the river in sheer desperation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
HUMAN, THAT'S ALL.

HUMAN, THAT'S ALL. Don't wonder when some other chap Does things you'd never do, Don't marvel at the blunderings Each morning shall renew. Don't puzzle over ugly traits
 That other folks display, Don't let yourself be scandalized
 By anything they say. Don't ask for explanations when You fail to comprehend Don't ask them of any enemy,
 Don't ask them of a friend. Don't let yourself be worried-should We stumble. don't be sore. We're simply human beings and
 You'll find us nothing more.
 The umbrella joke is unknown in Mars. It never rains there.
 Take Peru, add ma" and you have Peruna.
 The North pole will never be a popu- lar place of resort for picnic parties. Unfortunately we can't always run when we see trouble coming our way. Why is it, when the telephone rings and you take down the receiver and shout, say 1149, the woman at the other end
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

rode. with him who was somewhat talka- tive, and piled Ira with questions. At last the old man said, I'm tired of your talk. I wish you'd mind your own busi- ness and let me mind mine.'
 The passenger subsided
 After driving an hour or two in silence, Ira discovered his mail pouch was miss ing. He stopped the horses, looked all about the blackboard and finally said to his passenger:
 'I wonder what has become of that mail bag Have you seen it?'
 "Yes.' N,''Wnere is it ?" asked Ira.
 '.It fell off the wagon about an hour ago.
 You see, he bettered the instruction. Since then, they say, Ira has been more companionable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New York Press
 Women always consider it an unfair ad- vantage for pretty widow to have curly hair.
 The only kind of spelling that would suit the average person would be to let him spell it any way he pleased
 What woman likes about her husband being sick is how people ought to say what a devoted nurse she is to him
 One of the most satisfactory things about arguing is that If the other fel- low corners you you can go around tell ing people what a pig-headed fool he Is.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
NO HARM DONE.

From the Chicago News,
 Green-Rounder looks happy since his marriage.
 Brownies. His wife married him to reform him
 Greenland she has succeeded?
 Brown-Oh, no; she failed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
BLAMING ON HEARTS.

From the New York Herald
 Contemporary says the hearts of men are musical instruments to be played upon by women Of course it is a cynic of the deepest dye who retorts that the favorite selection of the performers is If you haven'r got any money you needn' t come 'round.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
ALABAMA PRESS

 Mobile Register: If Count Boni goes on the lecture platform the worst is yet to come.
 Gadsden Journal The report has gone out that there is a shortage in the tur- key crop. There must be d turkey trust with press agent Montgomery Times: Artist Tom Brown says that Chicago is the toughest place he knows. Maybe he just failed to make a nice distinction between meats and morality.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

A prophetical gentleman predicts the ruin of twenty-six American cities but in spite of that fact, real estate in any one of them would be worth holding.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
--s8s=a-
 GUST ED!

From the Chattanooga News. The Baltimore Sun asks: Have you killed your. hossG?" No, but the cold
 weather has retired the razorbacks from the end seats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

John D. Rockefeller seems to think his company can stand the expenses of a lawsuit so long as he can recoup ex- penses from consumers of oil. He pro poses to get even.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

I tainly ought to enjoy life now that he | las it.
 Although endowed with lungs, and eyes
 at the end of their tentaees, snails are | not especially sensitive. Come of them 1 take on expressions almost of delight
 when being eaten alive by birds or wood-
 chucks. About the only thing they do
 not like is salt"
 | Mrs. Shepard feeds her snals daily on
 lettuce leaves, cabbage, strawberries and
 mushrooms.
 T have only three carniverous snails l in my collection, she declared. Most of l them are strictly vegetarian. henever 1 snow my .amily of shails | to visitors they shudder and remark The horrid things Now, what is there to be i afraid of in a snail These mollusks are of ancient lineage, perfectly respectable
 and well behaved. Their ancestors were l crawling on wor.,- when it was cov-
 cred with fern forests and the heavy ] fronds waved over paleozoic marshes.
 Among the Romans mails were
 garded as a taJle delicacy. 1..e French
 and Italians also delight in them. l have
 been trying to make them popular in Chi i cdSr, put uii HdNllS Hiy tiouDies' io | make a snail stew you boil them in milk
 and d plenty of pepper and spices. If you never have eaten a snail stew you have a treat still coming to you | While she has not yet begun to breed l snals for the market, Hrs. .-.-epard is willing to make the experiment if she can ] secure enough patrons to guarantee the | success of the venture. Now is the time l for snail lovers to co4sT .ard. Mrs. | Shepard also has prepared a medicine she | calls sirup of snails. whieh she claims 1 is infallible IF cases of lung disease. "I shall have to call it by some other name," she said, "because the public never would swallow this extract of snails
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Secretary Taft has unpacked his suit case and is now engaged in writing his annual report. He hopes to finish it before the President returns.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

The weddings that grew out of that Philippine junket bid fair to outdo in number those of the original Florodora sextette.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Thee Japanese Skeerd O Nothin' is called the Satsuma, which is not bit graphic or expressive at least in Anglo Saxon ears.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Secretary Cortelyou no doubt fayors third term, for without it he could not complete his great stunt, a cabinet round.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Caruso claims that he was the victim of a plot, and the sharpest eye cannot detect trace of the press agents work in his arrest.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

An Indianapolis rabbi says that we are becoming race of prudes. He ought not to judge us by Comstock.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
REBuKED.

REBUKED. NOW, what's the use Of striving more?" A eynic said.
 "This life's bore. It's likewise stale And drearer to me. What good there is l cannot sec" An optimist
 Who chanced to hear The cynic talk,
 Said, Friend, I fear The reason why You chanced to miss Your share of joy And earthly bliss Is just because
 You've hunted long For what is ont
 Of joint and wrong, Have sought the dark, Overlooked the light And labored in
 Your own despite, Till you would not
 Know happiness If she should call At your address,"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

The Hon. Tom Platt and Mrs. Platt simply arranged nIodus vivendi. which is something Mae Wood did not accomplish.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

There is nothing to keep Hartman from travelling anywhere he wants to in this country without paying railroad fare
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

The Standard Oil pays its chief law. yer s15O.000 a year, and ne will earn his money if he shows at St. Louis that his company has not attempted to crush competition.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

The land pirates are talking about holding a pow-wow to celebrate MT. Hitchcock's retirement from the cabi- not
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Hughes is the only survivor of the republican ticket in New York. The official returns change no results.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Life must be getting slow in Paris. A foot race up the steps of Eiffel tower was run the other day as a diversion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Hetty Green of course meant that all trusts should be smashed except those she has bought an interest in.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Peary's ship, the Roosevelt, and Roosevelts ship. the Louisiana, are both soon to be in our midst.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

of the line invariably comes back at you with the question, "Is that eleven-forty- nine?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

If Peary lives to be a hundred years old he will have time to make several more trips 10 the north pole
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

John D. Rockefellers troubles are coming in droyes, according to custom.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Anna Gould is said to be the only member of the family who ever made an unlucky investment.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
The Cotton Picker.

"The matter of a practical cotton pick CT seems approaching a solution,' said man interested in the subject
 There is one thing to keep in mind, however, and that is that the matter of picking cotton in partially cleared land and on hillsides of much pitch will not be met by the machines already de manding a showing as to their practlea- bility That there will be a cotton picker for large farms of level land l have no doubt, but there are countless thousands of small hill farms that only small hand machine can be of aid in gathering Il crop so well cultivated as to produce from one to two bales per acre. Even this machine has been attempted by Selma man with bright prospects of sue cess.
 "The coming of the machine which will harvest acres of cotton per day means q moving into the great territory of unde- veoped lands in Texas, Oklahoma ant Indian Territory, of the making of the major part of twenty million bales of cotton. Ii means ginne.ies in easy reach of machines in the fields with quic6 delivery much as the great grain fields of the west When 1t comes the small farmer will have to farm more intensely or plant something else for profit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

President Roosevelt seems to have fallen in love with the Panama canal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
Sons of Confederate Veterans.

Much interest is being shown in the making of livelier interest Ill Camp Clayton.n said son of Confederate veteran.
 Tt is the purpose of those in charge 10 endeavor to make this camp the lar gest and most enthusiastic in the states. It has been suggested that a uniform be adapted of cadet style. That sies club be organized among the members for entertainment and for use in march ing parades with civic drill. The sing ing of old time melodies war songs and patriotic airs to be cultivated among aii the membership. On December there Is to be an important meeting he'd Tor these purposes and others for the good of the order, Much interest is being shown in the approaching reunion at Mo- bile" :"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

The Brander Matthews version of the English language has just about sizzled out
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

If this be Indian summer it must have come from Mexico or some other hot place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Standard Oil is well fabricated for z slump, and the slump is in our midst.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

The simplified spelling board should tackle the name of the delegate from Hawaii.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

The Platts arranged their affairs with less noise than did the Castel- lanes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Congressman Cochran is paired, al though the season is not yet opened.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Japans Skeer'd Q Nothin is to be even bigger and saucor than the Dread nought.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
NOTIONS.

 The dreariest life man can live is the life in which there are no dreams Constancy ceases to be a virtue when we are constant in wickedness. The pay envelope is sordid thing but wonderful lightener of care. The world always looks to a man ex- actly the way he feels. A man will do anything for a friend, woman anything to a friend. If everybody were good looking there wouldn't be any satisfaction in being so.
 A TRAGEDY.
 On Sunday he bought it
 And started to read,
 Perusng the pages
 At motoring speed.
 The morning of Wednesday
 Revealed him half through. But tired as the dickens
 And thoroughly blue.
 When Friday came tripping
 It found him in bed, With fifty-four pages
 Remaining unread.
 On Saturday morning
 He flckered and died, The whole comic section
 Untouched by his side.
 IN A LID TOWN. If you can't open the front door, try the back. The man destined to become famous as the admiral of fleet of airships may be living today. Seems as if there should have been a baseball game yesterday, it was so warm.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
FASHION NOTE.

Some charming smiles will be worn this winter. They are comparatively cheap and look well on any face.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Mayor Schmitz makes the usual de- fense-politics.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Daily and Sunday Age Herald .. $500 Daily and Sunday. per month";. 70 Sunday Age-Herald. per annum. 200 Weekly Age Herald. per annum. 1.OO
 Subscriptions payable in advance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Poor Boni could not even prove an alibi.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala. post office as second class matter under act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES.


 oMETIMEs it is rather difficult to @N think up a subject that will do \ for Head" This morning d variety of questions might be profitably discussed. but each one seems trite and besides the idea of work is repugnant to us. We might, for instance. unite our voice to the general hubbub over Anna Gould and Boni, we might call attention to Harry Thaw's approaching trial. we might point out that another wealthy man has tired of his chorus girl wife and obtained a rapid-fire divorce; we might aver that the times were never better, that Christmas is near and Thanksgiving nearer; that George Ade never heard Of Us and probably never will and that we are having summer time weather when it ought to be cold. In fact we might choose any one of these subjects and treat it seriously or flippantly as seemed best but on thinking the matter over, we have determined to let it drop.
 THE HAPPY EGOTIST. Thrice blessed the man who thinks that
 he
 Is first in fame and probity; Who's never feazed by any thing And doth his own fair praises sing. For he shall always be well pleased With what he does, his conscience eased Of all the sharp distracting fears That harry modest men for years And give them little peace of mind Until they leave this vale behind The fears that they are not as great As other men who sit in state And listen while the mob proclaims The titles to their honored names.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

d Inlfu leID1 lOF NitHOhl IL HS Souiu not complete his great stunt, cabinet round.
 There is nothing to keep Hartman from travelling anywhere he wants to in this country without paying railroad fare. The land pirates are talking about holding a pow-wow to celebrate MT. Hitchcock's retirement from the cabi- net
 Hughes is the only survivor of the republican ticket in New York. The official returns change no results. -.s.---- Peary's ship, the Roosevelt, and Roosevelt's ship, the Louisiana, are both soon to be in our midst. If Peary lives to be hundred years old he will have time to make several more trips 10 the north pole. Anna Gould is said to be the only member of the family who ever made an unlucky investment.
  The Brander Matthews version of the English language has just about sizzled out.
  If this be Indian summer it must have come from Mexico or some other hot place.
  The simplified spelling board should tackle the name of the delegate from Hawaii.
 
 Japans Skeer'd Q Nothin is to be even bigger and saucor than the Dread nought.
 The Platts arranged their affairs with less noise than did the Castel lanes.
  Standard Oil is well fabricated for slump, and the slump is in our midst
 -----.s.-------- Congressman Cochran is paired, al though the season is not yet opened Mayor Schmtz makes the usual de- fense-politics.
 Poor Boni could not even prove an alibi.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

W. D. Lanier and A. ]. Eaton. Jr., are the only authorized travelling repre- sentatives of The Age Herald in It's circulation department
The daily silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1903-1907, 1906-12-18

Job Printing at the Silver State
The daily silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1903-1907, 1906-12-18
MonE ELK LODGES FOR STATE.


SAN FRANCISCO, Dec. Up. P
Christensen, prosecuting attorney OF
Salt Lake City, Utah, and a member
of the appeals and grievance commit.
tee of the Benevolent and Protective
Order of Elks, was a guest of honor at
a dinner given Thursday night in Oak
laid by Colonel l.. l.. Bromwell, Judge
Henry A. Melvin, grand exalted ruler
of the Elks; Captain f. N. Freeman
chairman of the Oakland Elks' louse
committee and j. Cal Ewing, were
among the guests.
Aside from the social features of
the dinner the organization of lodges
of the order in Tonopah, Uoldfeld and
other Nevada mining camps, was dis
cussed. Many Elks are living in the
Nevada towns, and the head officers
have been urgently requested by them
to institute lodges.
As a result of the discussion at the
Thursday night dinner Judge Melvin
will leave shortly after the first of the
year for a visit to the diferetn camps
and if the situation looks favorable to
him the lodges will be installed.
The daily silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1903-1907, 1906-12-18
PIN MONEY FOR
THE LADIES
NO TIN WHISTLE NOR JUMPING
JACK SCHEME.
But the Elixir of Life-That's Cash
Proposition offered by f. G.
Robins & Company.

From today, December II, 1906, to
the night of December 81, 1906 inciu-
sive, we will give all our customers a
certain per cent of our cash sales. All
purchasers of 90 Gents. Cash.. and up
wards will receive a CASH COUPON.
Same WILL BE REDEEMED ON
THE EVENING OF DECEMBER 81
1906 IN CASH.
Now this is no tin whistle or Jump
ing Jack scheme, but the Elixir of Life
that's Cash.
Big reductions in many of our goods
See small bills.
r. G. ROBINS & co.