The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-05-10
FUNNY SIDE OF THINGS

FUNNY SIDE OF IHlhGS
y s----..----a--------- -
What kind of a rate bill are we
going to get?" Senator Dubois asked
Senator Tillman.
I'm sure | don't know. but we'll
grind out something Senator Till
man said 1T may be cornmeal, then
again It may be hominy and maybe
the corn will come out whole"
=
During the voting on amendments
proposed to the railroad rate bill In
the senate former Senator Pugh, OF
Alabama. entered the chamber and
took a seat behind Senator Tillman.
He was quickly Joined by Senator
Morgan of Alabama, and the two were
chatting together when Senator Pet.
tus of Alabama, Joined the group.
The combined ages Of the three men
is 253 years. Pugh is eighty-six, Nor
gan Is eighty.two and Pettus eighty
five years old.
There's a fine bunch Of boys" said
Senator Beveridge, one OF the young
est members of the senate, as he
passed.
Representative John Sharp Williams
wts recently asl.edto opposed the free
seed distribution. In declining Mr..
Williams said:
"wadsworth, | can imagine a man
with the courage OF the early Chris
tlan martyrs, | can imagine a man
with the courage TO walk steadily
TO the cannon's mouth, and | can i'm.
agine a man with the courage to look
into the barrel OF pistol in a duel,
but in my widest imaginings | can.
not imagine n man with courage
enough to refuse to vote for the seed
distribution If he comes from a rural
district"
=
The recent outbursts from the ora
tors of the republican party against
tariff revision remind me OF the story
Of the old Irish woman who thought
her dying husband -.sane, Represen.
tative Champ Clark Of Missouri said
The old woman a covetous old
soul was in the room listening 20 her
husband making his last will and tes
lament.
'" fTow, tell me exactly what Is ow-
ing you, said the lawyer
Timothy Brown owes me $500 an
swered the old man. Casey owes me
sl75 and
GOOD, good interrupted the pros.
pective widow. Rational TO the LAST
Luke Brown owes me $780, contin.
ued the old man.
Irrational. rational, again inter.
rupted the old woman.
ITO Mike Lafferty owe s375-'
"Ah," interrupted the old woman,
hear him rave, hear him rave!'"
-
Mr.. Bliggins had put In about an
hour the previous evening explaining
in words Of one syllable to his little
son the geological theory Of the for
nation OF coal yeins-how they are
the result Of vast forests that eN.
listed in riotous profusion in the pre-
historic era. Tnis evening they had
company. and Mr. Buggins turned
to Willie and asked, Willie, how did
we get coal?"
Got Mr.. Coke TO trust MS for H."
Willie replied-Judge. i
A little boy at Halstead was be-
ing scolded by his teacher for writ
ing poor essay. The teacher said;
Johnnie, have a notion to tell your
mother about IT,"
The kid replied: Tell her, II you
want to, she wrote 1t herself."-Ex-
change.
=
The boarding house mistress looked
at her latest guest" with a firm but
cheerful expression OF countehance
and allowed the falntest hint OF n
smile to play over her features
"Oh, no, | never have any trouble
with my boarders,' she said, briskly.
Il don't see any need Of nagglng 'em
If they don't do just as they would in
their homes, and as they'd like to be
done by; but ! generally let them see
In some way when | don't approve
OF their doings.
For instance, there was Mr.. Grams
ton, one Of my table boarders, a real
well-meaning young man, but pretty