davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28

and the stakeholder is ladling out the
gate money.
Tommy has an ideathat it would be
like finding money to dramatize Maj
Ponds "Eccentricities of Genius" and
let him play all the people from Ann
Eliza Young to Bill Nye.
Tommy has been after me to get
Dave Belasco to write him a play, but
I've stood him off by telling him that
] thought Sardou could fit him better.
Y Every day he drives up to my ranch
in hanson to find out II Sardou has
cabled yet.
I've just punched out parcel Of
paragraphs which I shall turn in to
Tommy.
/ think 1t will do him good:
my Dear Tommy: l have at last
secured play for you.
The author wanted $20, 900 for It,
but we compromised. He took so
cents in cash. 'and I promised him the
rel2 -'------ 1-------SA-A--A.
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28
.JOHNHENRY
ON WOULDBE ACTORS
by HUGH McHUGH
GEORGE ". HOBART

Tommy Harper isn't bad sort, but
he has a bug that he was put in this
world for the purpose of elevating the
stage.
Tommy thinks he could rush on
and play Richard the Third to such
an extent that the audience would rise
up and carry him out on their shoul-
dere.
Perhaps they would-dead.
Tommy thinks that with his voice
he could make Jean de Reszke's notes
look like a bunch of bad money.
He's out to bet couple of seven
dollar bills that he has Herbert Kelcey
famed to finish and that when it
comes to comedy Francis Wilson and
Jeff D'Angelis aren't visible on the
shell road.
He says that II ever he can break
into s. play with Mrs. Leslie Carter
he'll turn such a warm pair of goo
goo eyes on her that somebody will
have to get up and yell for the fire
department
But Tommy can't make good with
his shape.
He's as broad across the bosom as
Col. Jack Carter.
In the love passages his eubonpoint
would set him back about three feet
He can wear a full dress suit all
right but after it's set he looks like a
load of new-mown hay.
Tommy belongs to the Ancient and
Honorable Order of Tack Hammers.
He always knocks in a ladylike
,.lyo {cfa
pnce in ten.
He likes to go to a theater and
squirt verbal seltzer water all over the
place.
His language is all fine and daisy.
but when he turns on the loud pedal
he sounds like dog locked up in the
barn.
He is one of those dubs who thinks
he's missed his calling, and, no doubt.
his calling has been shaking hands
with itself ever since because he
missed the boat ~ s. s.--f.
I've known Tommy for long time.
70 he feels free to read his dope to
me.
Every time a new book comes out
Tommy wants to get it dramatized
and star in it.
He tried to get Janice Meredith -
but Frank Mckee cut across lots and
headed him off
Tommy had an idea that If the part
Of Washington crossing the Delaware
In Janice Meredith could be fat
tened up with couple of topical songs
and comedy bit, he'd be aces for the
road.
He says that If he had seen David
Harum" first he would have made
Billy Crane look like plate of cold
potatoes.
Tommy told me once that If he
could play the opposite part to Marie
Dressler the public would have to bite
Its way into the theater.
He thinks he has Pete Daley down
with both shoulders on the carpet,
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28
No Such Temerity.

Meekly-Yes. we're going to move to
Swamphurst.
Doctor-But the climate there may
disagree with your wife.
''It wouldn't dare!"-Philadelph
Public Ledger.
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28
Up to Him.

Regular Boarder-How many more
times am going to see this same piece
of pie?
Waiter-Dunno, sir. The boss told
me to keep giving 1t to you till you ct
it-Detroit Free Press.
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28
Give and Take

Gracious. my dear" said the first
society belle, spitefully, l do hope
you're not Ill. You look so much old
er tonight"
I'm quite well, thank you, dear" re-
piled the other. And you-how won
derfully improved you are. You look
positively young."-Philadelp Led
ger.
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28
,WH4r Joy hEYBp1NG
IoEyERY HoME

with
forman
which
not medication
and wholesome
Of
quality excellence
physicians generally
wholesome
Bile physicians the medicinal
original method
which
well
medicines and
always has the full Of the CompanyCona Fig Coainy
only If dealer offers other than the regular Fifty
thereon
the genuine you will not get its beneficial effects Every family should always have
equally children
whenever laxative
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28
Hardened.

Papa-My child. If | shall die penni-
less. are you well prepared to fight the
battle of life?
Blanche-I think SO. father. I've
been through three engagements al
ready Washington Star.
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28

The extraordinary popularity Of fine
white goods this summer makes the
choice of Starch a matter of great i'm
portance. Defiance Starch. being free
from all injurious chemicals. is the
only one which is safe to use on fine
fabrics. Its great strength as stiff
ener makes half the usual quantity of
Starch necessary. with the result of
perfect finish, equal to that when the
goods were new.
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28

There may not be more than two
inches of strawberries, but think of the
size OF the box with the lumber higher
every day.-Detroit Free Press.
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28
TWICE TOLD TALES.

In an English court, recently,
man was fined 92 for contempt of
court. He offered a C note in pay
ment, but was told by the clerk that
he had no change. "Oh, keep the
change" was the reply; "Ill take it
out in contempt"
A Frenchwoman was complaining
to her husband that he was too much
of a bookworm, that he retired too
often to his study, leaving her to
spend many evenings alone. "I
wish" she ended. plaintively, that
were a book. Then l might always
have your company" "In that case,
my dear" the Frenchman answered,
"Id wish you were an almanac.
Then could change you once q
year."
The number of Joneses in Wales Ia
illustrated by a story told of a GER
tain Oxford college, much resorted to
by Welshmen. A man from another
college went into its quad" in search
of a friend, and called 'Jones!" All
the windows looking on the quad"
flew open. Il want John Jones'" said
the man. Half the windows closed
Il mean the John Jones who has got
a toothbrush" All the windows
closed but one.
lady was gathering statistics for
a temperance society publication.
Talking one dal to drayman, a big.
heavy and red-faced individual, she
asked: We'll, now. my man. tell me
how many glasses of beer you drink
during the course of a day" The
man took his hat off. and scratched
his head. "Well. num-" he replied.
Il don't know as 'ow / can rightly
tell you. Some days as about
thirty. but" Frightening up. "on the
other and, some days I as quite a
lot"
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28
Flattery and the Sex

He-It was decided some time ago
that the mails could carry soft soap.
Shc-Umph I didn't know the ca
pacity OF males for soft soap had ever
been Observation-Disclosures American.
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28

Nobody who understands the law OF
prices will wonder at man making
himself scarce when he feels cheap
Puck.
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28

There is something wrong about tht
father who is not hero in the eyei
of his little ones.
The Elbert County tribune., 1906-06-28
GENERAL GLEANINGS.

The king OF Ashanti has 1892 wives.
A young Jones is born every 40
minutes.
The number of known stars exceeds
100, 900. .OOO
Contributors to the London Times
are paid S25 a column.
One man in six in the American
navy is a total abstainer.
The parrot appreciates music more
than any other of the lower animals.
Over 20,000.000 leeches were used
annually rs years ago. but now not
/ 100000 a year are used.
The worlds largest prune orchard
in Los Gatos, Cal.-contains $4,000
trees and yields an annual profit of
$500
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24
The Mistaken AstroIooer.

A brown-eyed blonde women had
charmed with her large fortune a
young man of the well known impov-
erished swell type. He found it difIi-
cult to win her, for which purpose he
had been exerting all his powers At
last happy thought struck him.
II have never told you," he said to
her one evening. 'sthat long before /
saw you Fate had directed me to you
''Indeedr' she responded, so sincere
ly that his heart beat faster, and her
face flushed in the pliment.
Eyes; and it came about in re-
markable way. just for fun one day
consulted an astrologer, and she told
me that would never care for any
woman until 1 had met one who was
then only a school girl, a beautiful,
golden headed creature, with wonder
full brown eyes. / laughed at the
prophecy, but found that the words
of the seer were true, for / never car
ed for any woman until l saw you"
Then lie stopped embarrassed and
thinking she would fall
into his arms.
friend spoke of golden-haired school
girl?" she asked.
show could 1 ever forget?" he re-
sponded.
"You couldn't possibly" she twit
tered; "only when [ was a schoolgirl
/ wasn't golden-haired. I've been
using blondine for the last year, don't
you know
And then heavy weight seemed to
fall him as he staggered away.-Ex.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24
ing representation:

A Washington correspondent tells
La fairy story about Congressman
|Reeder. Our Congressman was never
before charged with playing poker,
Eand you can't make the Methodist
Ebrethern believe that Bill ever saw a
fbob-tailed flush. Here is the story:
ssThere is a legend up in the Sixth
district that William A. Reeder at
Zone time could play IL bob-tail flush
without moving IL muscle. but my
is that he never played
la game of poker in his life, and never
Intends to. The legend probably
fcame out of the tact that Ire has a
face that meets every idea of what Il
poker face ought to be, and l have
Heard men here say-some of them
high up in the government too--that
there are times when they would
give fortune if they possessed his
Faculty for hiding the operation of
his mind.-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24
REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL CON
VENTI0N

There will be delegate convention
of the Republicans of the Sixth Con-
gressional district of Kansas at the
city of Lincoln on Tuesday April 10,
1906, at 1 O'Clock a. m for the pur-
pose of nominating a candidate for
said district and to elect a Congress
slonal Central committee for said dis
trict and to transact any other bust
ness which may properly come before
said convention
Delegates to said convention shall
be selected at such time and in such
manner as the county Central COM
mittees of the several counties may
prescribe.
The basis of representation in said
convention shall be one delegate at
large in each county in said district
and one delegate for each two hun
dred votes or major fraction thereof
cast for J. r. Burrow for secretary of
state. at the election of 1904, EMIT
ling the several counties to the follow
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24

business for nothing, any more than
they would think of getting clothes
and food for the asking ut the place
where feod and clothes are sold. Civ
ing newspaper space away is giving
the income of the Office away Space
is stock in trade. Whoever asks it
for personal benefit, and is willing to
get it for nothing, makes himself an
object of charity IN the ewes of the
newspaper man, and who is to blame?
Council Grove Guard.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24
(First publication Feb. 0. 1861
SBERIFF'S SALE.

In the District Court of the BIRD Judicial
district setting in and for the County
of FregO- in the State Kansas
j. Warwick Illus. ct nj. plaintiff.
W. a. Arro.. ct i'll. dc .end;lnt.
BY virtue of exc cution in partition is
sued to me ous of said district Court. in the
above entitled action. | will. ON Tuesday. the
9th day of March, A D. 1906. ut 10 O'Clock "a
m or said day at the front door of the court
house in the CITY OF Wa-keeney. in the
County of lregO. in the State OF Kansas Of
fer at public sale aIsd sell to he highest ~
best bidder ali the following described real
estate TO wit:
u5l south range twenty twn I-.) west.
The northeast quarter IF section twenty
one CID township eleven CID south. range
twenLy four CD west
The west half and southeast quarter of
section twenty three (23) In township eleven
Old south range twenty five (25) west. all
lying and situate in the County ot Trego. in
the SJafe of kans;i~-
The above described real estate is taken
MS the property of the parties to the above
entitled action and Is directed by said exc
cutiOn in par iti,n TO lie sold without re-
deanption to satisfy said. execution at not
upon said lands by the commissioners here
tofore appointed by the conrt to make par
tltIOn OF the same and further that the
purchaser or purchasers ut said sale he
mitted to pay one fourth of the purchase
price in c;tSll- and the balance in thrte equal
annual payments with interest per
cent per annum-
W. E. SACM +. ID. HINSHAs
Atty for plaintiff Sheriff.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24

Osborne Farmer: Something like
so years ago when we was Il hoy. there
was one problem that always fioored
us We ran across it again the other
dav and it is still as great Il mystery
as ever. Here it is: Two boys went
to market with so ducks, the largest
boy took 30 of the largest ducks and
sold them two for 81. The smaller
boy took the remaining 80 ducks and
sold them three for 81, they received
for their ducks S25. When they got
home they told their father they sold
their ducks at the rate of five for 81
and gave him S24. Explain how it
was possible for the bows To make a
dollar by the transaction.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24
The Fool Newspaper.

This week an attorney of the town
called us aside to tell US he had an i'm
portant news item for us. 1t was a
lawsuit of some magnitude, but the
important part wis of course his con-
nection with it, which lie wanted to
get before the people. We did not
write it up.
A man with Il fine bred horse wan
dered into our office the other day
and presented enough pedigrees and
commendationS for the horse to make
a volume of natural history. He
prated about the animal and how the
people of the county were anxious to
hear about it. Too cheap, Our read
erS are probably deprived of IL very in
teresting article on this horse. but
we cannot supply it. If it is a good
horse somebody ought to be able to
advertise it. We do not own the
horse, and do not want to raise any
colts just now.
4 man at the head of one of the
leading Industries of the town limited
to US the other day we lacked enter
prise because we did not give his
business a two or three column write
up at our expense. His business has
not paid us Il cent in five years. 1t
is making him more than 800 every
month. The man may have meant
we'll, but he was acting very. very
cheap. He looks to US like Il sponge.
Some years ago a man with a benev-
olent countenance besought us for
several weeks to give space in our
paper and time from our business to
boom oil prospecting. We did. The
company organized When solicitors
went to the benevolent looking gen.
tleman he not only refused to SUBJ
scribe Il cent to the fund, but would
not lease his land for prospecting.
He was willing to let the other people
do all the work and keep his money
warm in his pocket. The worst beg
gar of all is the well-to-do beggar.
Two years ago man told us To
mention that Il certain disease was
killing cattle in Il certain part of the
county. We did it. Next week he
asked us to make a news item of
the fact that he cured the disease
nearly every time. We could not see
that III was news, not so long as he
was making three or four hundred
dollars Il year out of it and we moth
ing. A twenty-five cent ad. would
have done the business for him, yet
he seemed unwilling to pay ever that
much.
Newspaper space costs money, good,
hard munny-money. and gobs of it.
Three hundred dollars month will
not pay the bills for the Guard office,
and yet this money is spent to make
nothing but newspaper space.
individuals should not think of get
ting newspaper space helpful to their
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24
TREGO COUNTY LANDS FOR SAIL

List of Trego county land with price sub
ject to change without notice and subject to
prior sale Terms time one-half cash.
balance in one two three years at seven per
cent interest. interest PAYABLE annually
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24
LANDS WANTED.

I have customers for a few unim-
proved cheap tracts of land; some we'll
improved farms; some small ranches,
and two large ranches
Ii you want TO sell now is the time
Come, list what you have, or send me
descriptions, prices. etc.
For Sale-LandS-
A w bargains in lands-farm and
1 nch ands
Irrigated Lands.
am agent for the Arkansas Valley
Su ar Beet s. Irrigated Land Co :
Ian in Southeast Colorado. where
farr ing pays.
Ca Ion or write,
S. NJ HUTZEL.
Wa-Keeney, Kans
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24
First publication Feb. l.. 1851
ROIIce OF Public Sale OF School L0Gd.
Office of
COUNTY TIRE ASURER.
TREGO COUNTY.


COUNTY TIRE ASURER-
TREGO COUNTY
WAX EENET. HANS. Feb L. 1906.
NOTICE is hereby given that ON Tuesday
IN the 1ssh day OF Mar,.i, A. d. 1906 be-
tween the hours OF ten o'clock a. M and
three o'clock p fn-- will Offer for sale and
sell f. the highest bidder at nay Office in
Wa keeney. kansas the following deScrii-
ed tracts of state school land. lying and sit
usatett in the county or Trceo- and State of
Kansas to-wis-
The SoutisEe est quarter of the northwest
quarter OF section ten (10l township fifteen
tl5) SOUTH range swenEy One CID west Ap-
praised valuation Il - per
The southeast quarter of the northwest
quarter OF Sec ion len ff0) in township ff-
teen Q5} SOUTH range twenfy " one CID west
Appraised Valuation 81 - FER acre
The northeast quarter OF the 1urthws,
quarter of section ten tl09- in township If
teen ti5l S0a1h- range twcnty-sSne CID west
Appraised valuation 81 - per
The northwest quarter of the northwest
teen (i5b south rHeEsf " one (zn
west Appraised Va luasion 81 - per acre
Provided that hid shalt he received for
less than the appraised valuation per acre
deposit sufficient to COVER all css~s> to
date Of sale will be required of each bidder
at said sale
Witness my hand this 1ssh day of Fe.;rus.
A d. 1896
L. C. GLEASON
County Treasurer
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24

Apply TO LEONARD EVERETT
council Bluffs iowa.
H. F. KLINE
Wa keeHey- Kansas
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24
Banks in Kansas Prospered Last Year.

4 State Bank Commissioner j. q.
Royce Yesterday issued statement
the business of 617 state
banks for the year 1905. Among other
indications of general prosperity over
the state is the item showing that
Hurting the year, the undivided profits,
aside from dividends and amounts
passed TO surplus increased by $780,
BIC. So.
The report shows that aside from
|bne or two yen, last year was the
most prosperotRy year the banks of
Kansas have ever known. The total
capital of the 617 state banks report
ing was $40, 449, 500 and the gross earn
Engs for the year were 81, 634, 971.57
making the percent of gross earnings
% the total capital, ALB.
The net earnings for the year were
l,945, l03.91, leaving the per cent of
pet earnings to the total capital, 10.
OF the 6l7 banks included in the
report, HIS declared dividends aggre-
Eating 81, 340,1 76, and passed to sur
lus 1893. $50. The average dividend
eclared was 1866 per cent. Forty
ne banks paid no dividends, but pass
d a total of sSS, 10000 to surplus. One
lundred twenty-eight more declared
20 dividends and passed nothing to
urpius. but the books in the bank
ommissioner's Office show that nearly
Il Of these were new banks organized
turing the year.
salaries and clerk hire last year
moved an increase over previous
ears In the last few years it has
veraged about 4 or per cent, but
ast year it jumped tc 10 per cent
ftate Capital
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24

Good fresh beef at Isak"r-s
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24

In the District Court of the .s}rd Judicial
district setting ia and for the County
of rrego- in the State Kansas
j. Warwick Illus. ct nj. plaintiff.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24
ANNOUNCEMENTS.

l hereby announce myself candidate
for Judge of the Twenty-third Judicial Dis
trlct subject to the decision of the Republic
can Judicial convention
J. II. REEDER
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-24

Don't forget the Shelton & Kinch
entertainment at the court house
February 27tiE 1t promises 10 be IL
good one The prices are ID and 25c
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-03-27
SENATE DEBATE TO 60 ON

The prospect of an early conclusion of
the senate debate on the rate bill is not
bright. Senator DOlliver is quoted as
expressing a few days since the opinion
that voting could begin ON some Of the
amendments within a week or ten days,
but the better Washington opinion,
based on clear view of the facts rather
than inspired by hope, regards the end
as yet far out Of sight. Senator Tillman,
who has charge of the bill, early an
nounced that he would press for vote
as soon as there might be sign of ex-
haustion OF debate. but there has been
no such sign. although towards the close
Of last week debate Jagged somewhat.
In fact many amendments which are
certain to be introduced have not yet
been formulated, and IL is certain that
other amendments on points not yet
touched will be developed in the further
progress OF the discussion. II has been
so far critical OF the provisions of the
Deliver Hepburn bill i'm the form i'm
which IL came from the house rather
than constructive, and has been en-
plOyed upon constitutional questions
more than questions Of policy. The
ablest constitutional lawyers in the sen
ate, like SpOOner, Culbers0n, Bailey,
Foraker and Knox, have been developing
at great length their various and often
conflicting views OF the constitutional
complications Of the hin, hut il was not
before last Saturday that senator Bailey
presented in form his point as 10 limita-
ton of inferior court injunction power
a point that fundamentally involves the
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-03-27

II was supposed that the amended bill
as it passed the house protected the OH
GERS who are or who may become lleuten-
ant general, but there is every reason to
believe that no such security is afforded
by the phraseology OF the pending act; In
fact, it is quite evident that something
must be done in the senate to remove
the chance of damage to several prominent
officers who, as things stand now, are
liable to be legislated out OF Office in
July 1909, when General Macarthur goes
upon the retired list by operation Of law,
or, whenever prior to that date and after
October - next. that officer elects to re-
tire. The act reads:
THAT when, after October u. 1906. the
office OF lieutenant general shall become
vacant, Il shall not thereafter be filed. but
said office shall cease and determine"
There are no limitations or notifications
or exceptions, as will be seen. It is pretty
plain that some time after October u. 1895
maybe not until 1oO9-the ONCE of lieu
tenant general, active and retired, will be
abolished