davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
KANSAS COAMENT



me esteemed Lawrence journal
seems to be greatly excited over the
fact that DR.. F. H. Snow Os this state
university has captured ana brought
INTO tne university museum an am
blychila. The Journal claims that there
are but i've other amblychilas now in
the known world. It takes something
with at least three syllables to excite
Lawrence and naturally excitement
as the Missouri reporter always says at
q Iynch1ng, runs high The Gazette
doesn't know what the anblychiia IS,
but the Lawrence Journal MAINTAINS It
IS bug. Lawrence is a grsa- Town
Tor bugs, and If DR.. Snow desires &c co
a lasting and invaluable service TO his
ana go down the Wakarusa until ne
comes to srnOoth-shaven. red headed,
long-legged, brown-eyed hickory tsua-
ker who shall be nameless. Just over
the right ear of the Quaker The doctor
VIII md q queef-loolSing big a-buzZing
IKE an electric fan. 1t is z common
but dangerous beetle known 70 science
as the giasticutis or senatorial bee. By
catching that bug and taking away the
only weak point in the armament of
reform, the people of Kansas will be
greatly benefited, and the aforesaid
and above described Quaker will be
just as Well off in a year from now
moreover the giasticutis has a name
much longer than the amblychila, and
would create a great deal mere excite
ment in Lawrence. DR.. Snow has con-
quered the chinch bug; he has captuf-
ed the tier beetle Now 1T Mira lag
the senatorial bee in the h2yrlck lead
OF hair of the statesman from Waka-
rusa township and the doctor will end
long and useful career in a blaze of
glory.-Emporia Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

II ever came to regard myself as q be
witching fairy princess HI hold you re.
4 m still Cinderella, she added = pronl'
lsed mother TO make the SALAD dressing
for luncheon
And so the fragrant summer month
drlfted frresponsibly on
One warm evening when the air was dlled
with the gold or firefEes, a maze OF SPAN
Austin came out on her side porch, which.
Tor wonder, was vacant, and swung her
portly weight none too gently into the
aa1nn1ock- Inc silver OF the moon was
beginning to tremble through the leaves
of the trees and to show patches OF the
garden path that wound toward the front
Those locusts sound awfury shriil.'
thought Mrs. Austin, trying inenectually
she lay there inert. yielding to the drowsi-
ness of the air.
She must have dozed OF bit. for sud
denIy she started, as is the way OF one
who tries to recapture ones waking wits
and YOU know, dear. that love YOU
I guess I've been loving you right from
the nrst, but I didn't realize it till
Two figures had just passed the moonlit
patch into the path and were emerging
into the shadows that stretched toward
the gate, so Mrs. Austin couldn't exactly
see who they we're. But she recognized
CarnpbelTs rich, deep voice
AT lastt" she cried, smiling broadly.
Wen, Jane deserved it-and she'll have
a good husband She raised herself up In
the hammock Sleep had fled
Now Just at that moment Sarah, the
cook. who had been buying some ribbon.
and ruching in one of the village shops,
happened to enter the front gate. AS she
came abreast of the side porch Mrs Ans
tin leaned over the railing.
Sarah, " whispered she, with maternal
who went out of the gate then with Mr..
Campbell2" It was statement rather
than question:
that wasn't Miss Jane, ma am: 1t was
just Miss June
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

NV 2 StJ-N . OF TIE + 'ULL RE.
Tell me, darling, ere with rapture
We shall sink in loves eclipse,
Ere with joy a kiss I capture.
Have you sterilized your lips?
Tell me, darling-fairest creature
Ever born the skies beneath
Is your hair natural feature?
Are they yours-those cleaning teeth
Tell me. tell me. charming 1assie.
When you're angry, and your eye
Stares at me with stare that's CLASSY.
Pray, what does that signify2
Is your stomach in condition?
Have you pains around your back2
Does your heart fulfill its mission2
Is your liver out of whack2
Tell me. 0 bewitching creature
Whom I love in f1erce.t way,
Tell me. ere I call the preacher
Darling. are your lungs o. K.2
Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
THE PRIA1ARY QUEsTToN.-T1I.

THE PRIMARY QOEST1ON.-IIl.
As has been stated in these columns.
the chief objection to the ordinary pri-
mary election. in which the candi-
date having plurality receives the
nomination is that it allows man
who is not the choice of the majority
to be nominated. It allows those who
work at politics to control just as sure
~ as does the convention system. In
fact the minority can more often con-
troll in a primary election, for the ma
chine-or whatever it may be-makes
It point to keep the people divided
among numerous candidates. while it
eonsoHdates its own energies on sin
gle man. while in a convention a ma
jority must be secured. and oc-
casionally a SLATE" is broken.
After canvassing the various plans
thus far proposed the State Journal is
convinced that the only way to over
come this objection is to allow the
voter to express his choice as to each
candidate, first. second. third. fourth.
and so on. As a rule there are not
more than three or four candidates
at most.
This would be an easy matter. for
a ballot would be simply marked this
WAY.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
FULL TiEASFD WTT2F. REPORT
OF TTTE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
HOME NEWS wTTTLE AWAY.

subsCrlhers ~ tire state FORMAL
sway during fhe summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
60 any address at ts.s' rate OF ten cents
q week or thirty cents month (by
mali only. Address changed as often
as desired. While out of town the
state journal srfn be TO you IKE a
daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions. TO save
bookkeeping expense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

The Emporia Gazette has caught the
fever too. and it adds this embar-
raising question to the list presented
to Kansas congressman: You all
voted for an anti-Dass clause in the
railroad law, because you thought it is
right; then why in the name Of all
that IS decent did every man jack Of
you but two ride home on a pass9 And
why ls every man jack Of you but two
riding around the state on passes now
Il an anti-pass law is good thing to
vote for in washington. why isn't It a
good thing to live up to in Kansas p
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

A Nebraska farmer the other day
heroically rescued some valuable rail-
road papers from a car that was burn
Ing IN wreck on the Burlington. They
proved to be documents proving that
me Burlington had been paying re-
bates to certain shippers for years, and
the farmer turned them over to the
federal authorities. Up to the hour of
going to press this afternoon the rail-
way omcials have not sent the farmer
q life pass in recognition of his heroic
1-aarf1e
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

Kansas. people who know Colonel R.
". Blue, commonly known as 'fDick.
uilI not be surprised to learn that he
"lit running" as the Concordia Blade
puts #, when he moved to the Indian
Territory. He had got far enough into
politics by the second night he was
there to make a speech. He would
probably have made the speech the
first night he was there, If it had not
happened to be Sunday night.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
[Fron the New York Press. ]

From the New York Press.1
Unless a man IS abused a lot he ue-er
amounts to much.
A man has q lot of fun being a PES
sinist II he is rich and healthy and
happy.
The college graduates who delivered
trying to.
II a girls waist isn't to squeeze It's
mighty funny why It was made such
good 1T to a mans arm.
What a woman likes about being sick
abed is she can imagine how the aowora
would look Il she should die.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
NOT EQUAL TO IT.

This is one of the first times in the
history of the state when the people of
Kansas were not equal to the occasion
in making claims. Up to threshing time
reports to F. D. Coburn. secretary of
the state board of agriculture, led him
to believe that the wheat crop would
not be more than 7O0000O0 bushels.
With the threshing nearing completion
the indications are that the yield viii
surpess the 80 million mark Fifteen
counties, most of them being in the
northeast corner of the state, report an
average of % bushels per acre or bet
ter The total acreage of 5,435, $50 acres
averaged 1857 bushels per acre. Okla
homa's wheat crop is almost double that
Of last year While Nebraska fell off a
sixth.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

The late DR.. S. F. Neeley of Leaven-
worth helped Kansas get even with the
Mutual Life Insurance company. Only
a year before he died DR.. Neeley took
out a policy for $4,000 in that com
pany, and only the first payment had
been made on it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

An Englishman who had his doubts
about Irish wit asked a friend. accus-
toned to go to ireland yearly on fishing
trips, if he had over met any not specially
prepared for the English market. LAS I
was going down to the fishing station on
the morning of my arrival" he answered,
an old fellow came. along the road who
on 4 former visit. had done me several
little services. And how is Nfichael?' I
called. approaching him. Sure. it's Mr.
-H exclaimed my friend. recognizing
me. And how have things been with you
since I saw you last. Nichael? without
a moments hesitation he answered: Sure
the corkscrew's got rusty since your hon
or was here. N. Y. Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

"The only use a bed bug has for a
man IS to get what 1t can out of him. .
says Kansas editor, and he adds:
'sThat is the way some people down
IN Missouri treat the town they live
in" It is also the way some Mis-
sourians treat Kansas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
.IITsT rIKE THE REsT.

The posthunous exaction Of unpaid
taxes on the estate of Marshall Field is
not a proof that Mr.. Field was less hon.
est than other people. but only another
demonstration Of the mockery which
our attempts at personal taxation pre-
sent all over the country.-Baltimor
American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
WONDER WHY.

Since express companies are asking
for more time to file rate sheets with
the Interstate Commerce Commission,
one is led to wonder why a copy of the
book the local agent uses cannot be
ransmitted.-Omaha Bee
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

The defaulting treasurer of Phillips
county has been arrested in Boulder,
Colo. and will have to stand trial,
although the money has all been paid
back. Thus again we learn that the
way to do is to place your resignation
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

The world is wondering at the i'm
mensity of the Kansas wheat crop, but
wait until the reports from the corn
begin to come in. Big yields of corn
will be reported from every county in
the state. The wheat belt has already
moved well westward and the corn
belt embraces the entire state
Hutchinson News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

w. A. Harris is scheduled to attend
the Bryan reception at New York the
last of this month. viii any one rise
when he gets home to inquire if Col
onel Harris rides on a pass?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

Deacon Palmer, of the Jewell Re
publican. has an idea that the millen-
MUM must be coming just around the
bend, since the Democratic county
conventions are demanding the en-
eorcement of the prohibitory law.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

Gen Stoessel is probably beginning to
see the hand of Providence in his dis
missa1 from the Russian army--New
Orleans Times-Democrat
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

Judging from the rain-gauge, the
weather man has been sending US
some Of that weather that was due last
April. It's all right though. we for
s-fvva him
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
DRAWING TIE LTNE.

the only tainted money that every
body is not reaching out an itching
palm for IS the sum IN the possa ssion Of
George Rossett, the Syrian leper. who is
living IN 6 box car IN the suburbs Of
Baltimore. Brooklyn Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
A DEEPER SORROW.

The douma deeply disappointed
the car. One of these days an an
archist with a bomb may meet up with
him and grieve him to the core
Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
A DIFFERENCE.

How easily millionaires become
socialists. but how tough a proposition
for socialists to become millionaires.-
Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
sTIMULUS OF THE YELL

The college yell is now heard in the
fields of Kansas, and at no time does it
sound more genuine or more hearty than
it does when the dinner horn blows
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

Let's see: Isn't it about time some
body were undertaking the annual re-
tirement of Thomas c. Plat from New
York politics?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

Kansas City's new union depot APP
pears to be losing in it's race with the
Panama canal. The canal is now
length ahead.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

The farmer sat on the top rail Of his
stake-and-rider fence with his sawed
off shotgun across his bony knees.
Layin for croWs2' queried the
Weary Willie who came limping up the
dusty highway
Nope" the farmer gruf1y answered.
I m layin' for blooms. See that sign?''
The wayfarer saw the sign. 1t was
rudely lettered with white chalk on a
blackboard. He read it aloud:
All Bloonists is warned thet these
Is Privat groun's. Any B'loonists tres
passin' on these Premises will be give
the full PENALTY of the Law"
Understandable, amt it2' the farm
er asked.
Couldn't be palmer" said the way
farer. Been annoyin' you, nave they?''
"Annoyin' is mild" returned the far
mer. The fust one OF 'em dropped in
the middle O. my onean bed. I'll admit
1 wuz rather tickled to see him an
didn't say nothin bout damages. Sec
ond feller tipped over seven of my bee
hives an ripped the roof off the corn
crib I wuz too dern busy dodgin' bees
to put in any bill an afore I could look
roundabout eyes bein' pretty nigh
stung shuttle Teller was a-sailin
away over Plum creek. The last chap
didn't come clear down, but he drop
ped his blamed anchor, an somehow it
caught in my melon vines an away he
flew with q o. the finest an ripest mel
ons you ever see a-danglin' at the end
OF his consarned old drag rope. Then I
writ that warnin' over there an load
ed the gun, an the fust arTynot that
flies low enough I'll blow his old gas
bag full O holes ez sure ez my names
Lige Hawlxinsl'
Good enough" said the wayfarer.-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

Everybody demands a revision Of the
taxation laws, but no two people agree
upon any one system. It probably vii
be the same way when the legislature
meets.-Holton Signal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
ERON OTHER PENS
THAT WASN'T MICH

All the Pennsylvania gang gained
out of it was emphatic Confederation
of the belief that Roosevelt would not
make campaign speeches in behalf of
the ring ticket.-Brooklyn Standard
Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
srTCu FOOIIsHNEsS

There is a New York agitator SO anx-
ious to debate with Mr.. Bryan that he
offers 1000 for the privilege. He says
all the money will be untainted. But
perhaps it is stage money.-Philadelph
LIZ 1ger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

The country is to be saved every
week hereafter. Everybody's Maya
sine is to be changed to a weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
THE COSSACK.

When even the Cossacks take to fra
ternizing with the people the props of
autocracy seem more shaky than ever.
Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
RATIo ABOUT THE SAME.

IfC1erk Samuel Byerly can with two
cent stamp turn $5,S00.000 worth of gov
eminent bonds, he might borrow 800 or
SO and buy a steel trust.-Baltimore
Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

Another Iowa idea is that if man
will hold up his end of the fight per-
sistently enough, he will win. And this
idea has also been vindicated-
Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

'st. Petersburg Is in darkness. says
q dispatch. And things looked mighty
dark over there before that.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

That RarlS aerOuaul VINO Is OiidDle 10
get enough hot air to fill his balloon can
be accommodated by coming to Wiscon-
sin.-Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

This seems to be something Of
s'Katy-did" and ''Katy-didn't' cam
paign.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
HVMOR OF THE DAY

..Kernel. can 70 glib me a quarter?'
No; but here's five cents
=, Much obleeged, capting. Louisville
What a beautiful figure she has. Who
She makes them herself. Then she
takes them over to the uphoIsterer -
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Borrough-Say, old man. lend me ten
Lenders-No, thank you. I'm not max
Philadelphia Press
DO you regard baseball as q healthfuI
We'll answered the physician, I
should say it ought to do great deal to-
ward STRENGTHENING peoples lungs. -
In time said.the doctor. this trouble
may affect your mind
ruin my complexion Chicago Record
Mamma-Why. Jimmy. you are getting
aWIuily tanned going to school You
sn9qdq KegP 9f Of b the SUP the teacher
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Say, you're a lawyer Can you tell me
If there is any way Of getting out a blan-
ket Injunction
What do you meau2"
You see my wife insists on using ours
still for fear of q sudden cold spell. Bal
timore American.
Poor Mans Son-Yes, sir; Z began at the
bottom Of the ladder and climbed W.
Rich Mans Son-Huh. 1 began at the
top of the ladder and slid down.-Detroit
Free Press.
Teacher-How long had washington
been dead when Roosevelt was Inaugural
schoIar-I don't know. but it hasn't been
very dead since Teddy has been there
Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Haysede-Why. John. I heard that
you lost SIS last night playing bridge.
Mrs. Haysede-so I was Informed by the
party who won the money from you
Stray Stories.
Miss Planet understand you do very
pictures.
Photographic Yes'rn. but could give
you an exact likeness If you wish--Phil-
adeIphia Ledger.
Il have done the state some service"
''Yes." shouted one of the delegates,
'and you charged the state seventeen
times as much as it was worth. ''-Chica-
go Record-Herald.
First Passenger Cexuberantly pacing the
contain myself
Second Passenger fdejectedly leaning
over the raiD-Strange. That's just the
way feel.-PhiladeIphia Record.
Clara-I wish I could believe what he
says. but
Naude-What does he say7
Clara-Why, he says he loves me. vet
he has only known me two days
Nfaude-Well, perhaps that's the reason.
Chicago News.
Good news!' cried the lawyer, waving
a paper above his head i've secured q
reprieve for you
"A reprieve?'' replied the convicted
murderer indifferently.
Why yes; don't you see, you ought 70
be happy"
"Aht" replied the prisoner. g1oornIlv.
that simply means a delay. and I'VE al
ways been taught that delays are danger
ous.''-Catholic Standard aand Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

Al postmaster doesn't always have as
great q snap as some people imagine.
me bltterest struggles in Nemaha
sauntzs ssys the sabetha Herald are
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

result IS secured in a single primary
BY the plan proposed here
The main objection to this plan
the only objection that the State Jour-
nal knows-is that it is necessary to
make a complete record of each bal
lot. In practice, however, this objec-
ton viii not amount to much, for the
figures can be read rapidly, straight
down the ballot without calling the
names, and they can be recorded the
same way on the tally sheet.
This has its advantage, too. for if
the ballots are numbered as they are
taken out of the ballot box it will be
possible to locate an error in a min
ute's time. If the two clerks who re-
cord the ballots differ IN the sum ac-
corded any candidate, it is the work
of only a moment to compare their
figures and ascertain where the diff
ference is. If the tally sheet is ruled
to indicate the ballots by tens it is
Immediately evident on what ballot
the difference occurred and that ballot
can be turned to and the error cor
rected.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

Anybody remember anything about
s'Drouthy Kansas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

as there ought to be If the primaries
of all parties are held on the same
day, the ballots could be counted
every hour, and the work greatly ex-
pedited.
The State Journal presents this plan
to bring out a full discussion of the
primary question. theoretically the
direct primary is the thing, and it is
in practice also if it can be arranged
so that minority candidate will not
be nominated.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07
AND THAT & nnn n0n

Marshal Fields last illness cost him
$50, 600. That's nothing to the $4,000 900
that his death caused his heirs for their
tax on the eritance.-Hutchinson In
dependent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

I
You havezr ysdr annoyances, Of
course. B6zStf0s0 lo1z1Ei syrou slilxe to live
in bingham? They have 1913 phono-
graphs down there. =Lindsborg News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

If only the first choice were count
ed, as in an ordinary primary, it is
evident that the vote would stand:
"a, 5; "B". 8; &C. 8; and ID. 4.
And IA, having a plurality, would
win.
But five voters were against "a"
and five others made him their third
choice; hence he was not the choice
Of the majority.
BY adding the choices expressed for
each candidate it is evident that d..
whose sum is the lowest, comes near
est being the average first choice. If
"B'' and &C. were eliminated ID"
would receive 10 votes and "a only 5.
ID" therefore ought to be the nomi-
nee.
It will be noticed that the last ball
lot has two third choices expressed
but no fourth choice. The man who
voted this ballot expressed his first
choice for ID" and his second for .'B''.
but he left the other two blank. It is
evident that he prefers I'D" and "B"
to the other candidates, but he has no
choice between IA and &C.. The
latter therefore are both entitled to
be considered as the voters third
choice. 1t would not do to leave
them uncounted entirely for It is OBJ
vious that this would work against
the other candidates
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-07

Poor Mans Son-Yes, sir; I began at the
bottom of the ladder and climbed up
Rich Mans Son-Huh, 1 began at the
top of the ladder and slid down.-Detroit
Free Press.