davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
Got His Moneys Worth.

King Milan of Servia once went
to the hotel of a distinguished lady
who was giving bazaar for the
benefit of the poor children of Paris.
AS soon as the king appeared upon
ths scene she advanced toward him
with a splendid silver salver in her
hand on which was beautifully en-
blazoned the family arms. On it lay
pretty little bunch of violets.
''How much, madame ?D asked the
king. "Twenty-four lois, SIRE" was
her soft response. Milan paid her
the sum she had asked, with cour-
teous bow, took the salver from her
hands, placed the bouquet in his
buttonhole and walked off with the
tray under his arm.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
Fi.hermen,. Funny Ways.

Fishermen are, many of them, re-
markably superstitious. For instance
in some fishing boats whistling is for
hidden, and neither milk nor burnt
bread is allowed on board. Even the
name of that unlucky animal, the hare
may not be mentioned, and common
method of Furnishing an enemy is to
throw a dead hare into his boat Some
fishermen believe in luck attending an
odd numbered crew, but, the good for
tune will be neutrallzed should one OF
the number have red hair.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
COnundruns.

What is it that never freezes? Boil
ing water.
How many straws go to make a
gOose's nest? Not one. for straws. not
having feet. cannot so anywhere.
Who killed the fourth part of all the
people in the world? Cain, when he
killed Abel.
Why should housekeeper never put
the Letter NJ into her refrigerator? Be-
cause it will change ice into mice.
Why is bread like the sun? Because
1t rises from the yeast.
What is the cheapest feature of the
face? Nostrils, two for scent (cent).
What is the smallest room In the
wOrldl Mushroom.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
Anythina For an Excuse.

After having suffered several days
from an aching tooth during an ex-
ceedingly cold spell of weather Tom
my finally summoned the requisite
courage and went to dentist. Aft
er surprisingly short time he re-
turned home.
'Did you have the tooth pulled,
dear?" asked his mother.
NO. answered Tommy; ~ didn't
have to get it pulled"
"Did the dentist say SO ?"
'No, he didn't say so, ! found it
out myself"
"How was that?"
"Well, he said it was ulsterated,
and so / told him to let it alone.
AS soon as the weather gets warmer
it'll quit hurting itself, cause the
ulster will be off,"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
ES5EQR YOUNG ~
FoLKSGA
HOMEMADE TELEPHONE.
A Practical Instrument That Any 10,
mr

A Practical Instrument THAT Any BOY
o.. Can lsssily Make.
The materials you will require to
rake this telephone are two pine
tpards 10 by 13 inches and half an
inch thick, two fresh beef bladders,
one box of four ounce tacks, two large
gutta percha overcoot buttons, some
strips of thin leather one-quarter Of an
inch wide and, lastly, some flexible
wire. The best wire for the purpose is
that used in bookbndlng machines, but
IL 1t cannot be obtained any soft, flex.
ible wire will do.
Prepare the bladders first by blowing
them up tightly and leaving them so
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
Praises His Luck.

When the sno;y is on the hillside
And the coasting is just great
And the ice Is smooth and CLASSY
Where the fellows go to skate.
When the air is keen and nlppinB
And tho lazy smoke wreaths curl,
Then boy is mighty thankful
That he was not born q girl.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
Dot,s Funny notion.

Dot was watching funeral process
sion pass her home. 1t was her first
experience with funerals. my, what
lot Of carriagesp' she exclaimed
"Say, mother, when die and go to
my funeral, may I sit on top with the
coachman, so | can see W -.,l Is going
on around me?"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
Humor aua Philosophy
BY DUNCAN NJ. SMITH
UNEXPLAINED.

Ladies'. you are very wise,
From your ,e tips to your eyes.
Wisdom that YOU do not hold
Is not much, so I've been told.
But there's one thing, angel mine.
On which l can't get line
Why should you, since wise you are
Step
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
Eickle.

In summer time think we'd prize
A snowbank clear UP to our eyes,
But when we get Il. I'm afraid.
We sigh for ninety in the shade.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
The Final Judge.

"He has appealed his case to the
court of last resort
"Put it up to his wife, has he?"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
Strong on Color.

"What caused her fit of blues?"
"rhe green eyed monster"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
Seldom a Problem.

"Do you think Il man should give up
his seat in a street car to a lady!"
"He can't unless he has one"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
Doroshy,s Letters.

81 think I'll never learn to write"
Said Dorothy one day.
''The kind of writing grown folks do;
Mines such an easy way.
just make little lines and dots
Instead of words, and then
] make three crosses for my name
That's Dorothy Hope Wrenn"
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
Up Against It.

Up Against It.
Senators Foraker and Dick seem to
be up against it good and hard. They
oppose the presidents programme for
railroad rate regulation. Recently an
Ohio Republican was bounced out of
good fat Office and Tennessee Re-
publican nominated to succeed him.
Now, it cannot be asserted by me posi-
lively that that was Il punitive per-
formance or retaliatory act on the part
of the president. but l learned long ago
that two plus two makes four. Now, to
rob an Ohio Republican of any sort of
an office, especially fat one, is to dis
turb all Ohio Republicans from the
Ohio river to the lakes, for they have
an unwavering faith that they are all
born to hold office, so that Senators
Foraker and Dick. who differ on many
things, are agreed to keep that Ohio
Officeholder in office or know the rea-
son why. so they are whetting their
knives, furnishing their swords, load
ing their guns for the fight of their
lives on the administration.
The people of Ohio must have a
queer feeling when they contemplate
their new Democratic governor. It's
the first one of that brand they have
seen since January, 1892, when James
K. Campbell made way in the guber-
Material Office to William Mckinley.
Pattison is the fifth Democratic gov
ernor the Buckeyes have elected since
the close of the civil war. The other
four were Rise Up William Allen
old Bill, as he is usually called-R. NJ.
Bishop, George HOadly and James t..
able since the civil war to elect a
Democrat twice hand running. Wheth-
er they will play in better luck this
time remains to be seen.
The senate Is going into thorough
investigation OF the isthmian canal af-
fairs and expenditures. This is not
agreeable to certain high and mighty
functionaries, but as the canal is 60
ing, In any event, to cost vast amount
OF money-perhaps 81 100000, 0,O0O-it is
well for all concerned and all the rest
of creation to understand one thing
forever, and that is thls-while con-
gress Is perfectly willing to appropriate
every dollar necessary to build the ca.
nal, congress intends, so far as in II
lies. that every dollar appropriated
shall be economically expended.
M2Lub |l
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25

from
the
car?
In AFFAIRS of every day
Sklllfully the game you play.
Giving us advice that's worth
Quite large slice of the earth:
In the household or the mart
You can always hold your part.
Why, your record then 10 mar.
y Step
off
haplr rxuard
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Words never fail an inslncere per-
son.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
backward


the
car?
You can twist affairs OF state
Or can smash q party slate,
You can tane "a balky horse.
Or fastened window force.
And q man with brawny iist
Round your little finger twist,
But you will, It's known afar.
Step
of
backward
from
the
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25

A man who Is naturally frank may
on marrying become naturally diplO-
matte.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
Il Is Good Auto Sense.

at takes a man with some judgment
20 run an ITO"
"Well he should at least have horse
sense"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25

There may be maidens with swan
Ike neck, but most of us would rather
not see them.
A diet of words is not to be COM
mended as promoter of courage.
If necessity knows no law we do not
understand why it hasn't been elected
judge long ago
While few men can stand prosperity,
all Of them are willing to try.
Some men never feel their oats ex-
cept when they have fingered over the
rye.
Truth crushed to earth will rise
again, and 1t will just as surely get
crushed again.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-01-25
81 ~ ss "a ~ m 81 N VI "a "a VI IA 10
n Champ cree: Tariff s:,.,: ~
M / Bound l ~
~ i a Revolution In u
xH ~ G N - | Public Opinion |
| publicans Couldn't l ~"
1 l
"a ss e Z. as - xs ss ss ss - ss ss ss
n ss 4: ss ss ss &c 4: Is ss ss &c ss {,
Especial Washington letter.

TSpVVIdI NHoIIIITb VUII IseNVVI'I
RT Is done--a great debate on the ex-
orbitant aud extortionate rates of
IL the ninmlnv hill rhe Rnnuhllcan
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-08-15
TODAY IN HISTORY
,e Day: Rochus. Sun rises at

Name Day: Rochus Sun rises ;, at 5:1S; sets at 6:41. ( I494-Ferdinand and IsabeL address ed letters of appreciation to their hiSh admiral of the Indian seas, Columbus, from Segovia, wishing Ito know all the season of the year, such as they take place there in each month sepa- rateiy: some wish to know If there arA two summers and two winters m
 i5i9.-Cortez set out from his colo ny Of Villarica on. his expedition 10 Mexico, with 4i6 Spanish infantry iS horses. 200 Indians to transport his artillery and baggage. and some na- tive troops, among whom were forty nobles, whom he took as auxiliaries In war, and hostages of the Toto
 is5l.-onondaga salt springs discov-
 is77.-The second ship from England arrived at West Jersey, bringing 2SO kers, some of good estate in England 10 1721-Number l of the New Eng land Courant issued. James Franklin, CT. O It lived only about six years.
 l777.--Battle of Bennington Gen" eral Stark with about 1,e00 New Hamp- shire militia, attacked and defeated a detachment of 1.5O0 British regulars and 100 Indians, sent out by Burgoyne, under the command of the Hessian generals Baum and Breyman. 10 take magazine at Bennington British loss' 226 killed. and SS officers and IOo prl- yates prisoners; they lost four cannons; with all their baggage, wagons ana horses. Americans lost less than 1OO killed and wounded.
 17s0.-Battle of Camden. The Amer jeans under General Gates totally de- feated, by the British under Gornwal- lis. Baron DeKalb received eleven wounds in this engagement whicn
 17s2.-First theatre opened in Bos- ton. It was called the New Exhibt- tion Room; the statute of the State prohibiting dramatic performances, they advertised to represent the moral lecture of DougtaA One evening. and Lady Teazle were representing their parts of the moral lecture of School for Scandal, the sherin maae his appearance on the stage, and ar rested them by virtue of a peace war rant.
 lSO4-The lighthouse at Old Point Comfort Va. at the entrance to Ches- apeake Bay destroyed by fire.
 t812.-Detroit surrendered by Gen erai Hull to the British under Gen- eral Brock, without firing gun from the fort or consulting an officer. The American force amounted to l,l0O men. The British took about forty cannon; 2,500 stand arms. 400 rounds 24 pound shot fixed, 40 barrels of powder, lO0,- 900 musket cartridges made and lb days provisions.
 isi4;IThe United States fleet sm- CT 1 having failed in It's object. Colonel Grogham re-embarked his troops,
 1S24.-Charles Thomson. died, aged 94. He was the first secretary of CongresS in which offiee he continued ''ThA Man of Truth"
 1S41.-The President vetoed n bill to charter a United States Bank.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-08-15
'. 2 : ssEs COTTON 1Errna.
By Private Wire to c. c. Abercrombie
 & Co., s2 Commerce Street.

& Co., a Conimerce Street.
 New Orleans. Aug. 14.-The weekly Government weather report had but the reason that temperatures during the past week averaged about nominal except in, the Caro1inas, where an ex- cess of four to five degrees was re- was reported from the northwestern portion of the belt in Northwest Texas and in Oklahoma and Indian Territory. As to the progress of the crop, no re- marks were made. Traders, however. were inclined to accept same as being somewhat more favorable than looked for. However. further heavy rains were reported over night from East Mississippi. Alabama. and Georgia. and as showers were booked for all cotton States tonight or Wednesday, except for Mississippi and Alabama. where fair weather pnnd is predicted, shorts were dis out as much line as they care to risk with the clements. a factor worthy of much consideration at this period of the years, when disturbances might make their appearance when least ex- pected
 It Is probable that the last two weeks or August will so down in history as the market in the way of furnishing unfavorable crop weather. too dry and hot or too wet and showery. If the distribution of excessive heat is to be G NsdAEd Dy LHS AAW& OI nature, EnG Southwest has yet to receive a spell of hot, dry weather as its share of the seasons gifts, as Texas has yet to complain of torrid weather this sum- mer. and the same argument applies to the Mississippi Valley, although the past week gave every indication Of such a development at the close of last Saturday, when the rains relieved the situation.
 As'de of these possibilities coming to the surface, there Is fear that tho rains will continue in event of cloudy weather remaining, and that the one de- velopment might prove as detrimental to the crop as the other. The fact that there is scarcity of cotton in the To- cal market in presses last night i4.00O. last year b4,000. and that all arrivals Of new cotton at Texas points are off the market. being in course of ship ment to Europe. local exporters find it difficult to fill their obligations, and it Is probable, small as the sales might seem, and the price so high, that values are apt to be. quoted higher, all of which would indicate that there is still some short interest in August ship ments from this port.
 Of sentiment here and at New York and perhaps at Liverpool, being bear ish. there Is no doubt but the Issues of the moment serve to check aggres- sive action on the part of those bear ishly inclined, and In this is explained the steadiness of the market.
 Yours truly,
 c. G. Abercrombie & Go.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-08-15
TREAsURY, BALANcEs.
CHICAGO CHAIN ANp PRopuCE.


 Chicago, Aug. 14.--A liberal increase in contract stocks of wheat in Chicago was one of the main reasons for weak At the close wheat for September de- livery was off i l-4@3-S. Corn was unchanged. Oats were down Is. Pro- visions were 5Q7 12 to 12 l-2@15c
 The wheat market was weak the en- tire day. At the opening the market was affected by lower cables and by vesting in the northwest. Trading during the first half of the day was quiet. but more activity developed dur ing the last hour. Cash houses and pal sellers. Demand was scattered. Additional selling followed the an- nouncement of gain for the weak of stocks of wheat Another bearish fac tor was the Spanish crop report which indicated total yield of wheat of 40 to 50 percent above the crops of the extremely weak,~with prices almost at the lowest point of the day. Septem- Der opened a shade to 1-S@1-4 lower sSii and closed @ at # Si.u Si. ciearances a 1 nc of wheat and flour were equal to 225, 800 bushels. The worlds visible supply as shown by Bradsteets Increased Iss. .ooS 900 bushels, compared with 76S,000 bushels for the corresponding day year ago. Minneapolis. Duluth and Chicago reported receipts of sos cars against S32 cars last week and s7S cars year ago.
 Considering the weather news of wheat the corn market displayed re- cries were held firm by continued small movement and decreasing stocks The worlds visible supply showed a while the local stocks. decreased 4S1,- GOO bushels for the week The May op- tion was depressed by favorable re- ports on the new crop. The market closed steady. September opened a shade higher to 1-8 lower at 49 3-S, -ta 49 1-S65-S, sold between 49 1-4 and 49 5-S and closed at 49 1-2. Local re- ceipts were 1S0 cars with 5T contract grade. @
 Oats were easier, in sympathy with the decline in wheat. Cash Interests commission houses and pit traders were moderate sellers. September op- ened unchanged at 31 1-2. sold off to 31 Is and closed at 31 3-s. Local re- ceipts were 306 cars.
 The provisions market ignored a Sc ruled easy all day The feature of trading was liquidation of pork and lard for January delivery. At the close l September pork was off loo at HOO l Lard was down 12 1-2@ t5 at S.609S.62 | 12. Ribs were scr 1-2 lower at s,s7 | 1-2 at so.
 Estimated receipts for tomorrow: | Wheat 35S cars: corn S7: oats 179; | hogs 30.000 head.
 The leading futures ranged as follows:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-08-15
Greeks wiII Become C,t,zen..

Gadsden, Aug. 14.-(SpeciaI. )-Twen- ty-two Greeks, a part of a colony re- siding in Alabama City. and employed at the Dwight cotton mills, have ap- piled to the clerk of the city court for standardization papers. The list of names is quite curiosity, as 1t Is made up or bewildering array of unpro- nouncable names. It is said that about this many more will make application pefore the new immigration law goes into effect The employment of these Greeks in cotton mills is something new in the South. and so far they have proven satisfactory and give little trouble.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-08-15
{ COTTON LETTER.
By Private Wire to Loveman and Co.,.
 36 Commerce Street.

By Private Wire to Loveman and Co.,.
 38 Commerce Street.
 New Orleans, Aug. 14;.No pronoun- market but on the other hand there was no decided evidence of strength and consequently, prices moved up and fluctuations. Liverpool was easier than expected when we opened. but subsequently, improved, closing slight .ly at an advance of 4 to points on points. down, our market gradually re- covered and finally on the expecta- tion of a bullish weekly weather re- port, sold as high as e.72 for Decem- ber The government document how ever. was if anything. less bullish than had been generally anticipated and, hence an easier tendency developed the earlier Improvement was lost.
 Spots were reported quiet and un-
 Both of the markets now await fur situation before making any aggres- stve moves. By all laws governing speculation the market is entitled to a good reaction. but bearish sentiment tempt to put prices up meets with stout resistance, even from quarters where ono would think that an advance would than to furnish a better selling basis
 We are now only about ten days or from the date up to which the next bureau report is made, and unless weather conditions improve materially, in the meanwhile, the average condi- ton to be announced on September 3rd. is apt to show marked decline compared with the figures given on August 3rd. As the time draws nearer for the bureau, shorts are likely to evince desire to get under cover pending the issuance. of the report un- less the movement of the new crop be- comes sufficiently heavy to off set all bullish influences of the moment. The situation. therefore appears very un- certain for the time being, but we are inclined right now to favor the bull side for a turn owing to the existence of a presumably large short interest.
 Yours truly.
 LoYeman and ComnanY.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-08-15

1s51.--The provision of the forces of Lopez under Colonel CrittendAn having been driven to the coast, where they embarked in open boats were captured and shot at Havana
 1S6i.-President Lincoln, by procla- nation, declared all commercial inter- course with seeded States, at an end.
 1S62.-General Mcclellan leaves Har- rison's Landing on the James river.
 1Ss4.-Charges of cannibalism In connection with the Greedy arctic ex- pedition given semi i-oficial credence in Washington.
 (Service by American Press News, washington, D. O
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-08-15
THE METAL MARKETs.

N9w T0rs' ,oSsr Aug: w,;h It6The i, London dsd f1S2 5s and futures f1s1 l2s Cd. but the To- cal market was strong and higher at S41 .3O9S41.
 Copper was higher In the London markst with spot quoted at fsa los and futur6S fSS Is Cd Lake copper was quoted et SIS .s2h a SIS. 75 in the local market. cleo trolytic at SIS. 37 + @ SIS. 50; casting s' $18.000SlS.2
 Lead was unchanged at s5.75 in the To- cal market and E17 in London.
 Speltsr was unchanged at t26 lis Cd in London and at Ss. ooa Ss 10 in the locS' market
 Iron was higher in the English markS. with standard foundry quoted at 52s 4% and Cleveland warrants at 52s 10Md Lo> cally the market was higher No. 1 foup~ dry northern is quoted at 21s. 50 a sac. %" tgS. .Oo@ @ sl9. 50; No. 2 do. SIs.50 Q t19 O.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-08-15
KILLS BEDBUGS. Simple Way to Get Ride Of These TOrturing VeFmin.

There is nohting that causes more discomfort than the pest of bedbugs. Happily simple way has been discov- cred to exterminate them.
 Apply Stearns' Electric Paste to the corners of bedsteads, mattresses, springs, and under the slats, and in one night the bedbugs will be exter- minated
 This is the only preparation for kiil- ing bedbugs where you get your money back If it fails; also sure death to cockroaches. rats and mice.
 Sold everywhere or sent express pre- paid on receipt of price. Stearns' Electric Paste Co, Chicago. Ill. Small size, 25 cts. hotel size eight times the quantity. s1.00.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-08-15
ITYERpnnT. rnrrnN FrrrnRFs
DAILY COTTON MARKE
Port Mow.,,,.v,4


 Galveston-steady. 10 3-16c; net receipts b,lss; gross receipts 5.13S:l sales 1,171; stock 1s,o30; shipments to continent 3.240: coastwise f121 New orleans-Firm. 10 5-1ec; net re- ceipts 3es: gross receipts 36s; sales 500: Mobile-DulI, s%c; net receipts 55; gross receipts 55: sales 25; stock 4.221 Savannah-auiet. 10 1-16c net receipts 2.151; gross receipts 2,157; sales 966; stock 26.9S4. shipments coastwise ITO. ChaFIeston-Nominal;g net receipts Il: gross receipts T; stock 1895.
 Wilmington-Eomina net receipts 5; gross receipts g. stock 320.
 Norfolk-Steady. 10Sc; net receipts 2e4; gross receipts 294; sales 2o4 stock s,94s; shipments eoastwise 1,512.
 Baltimore-Nominal. 10hc; gross receipts 516: stock 3,s09
 New York-Quiet. 1O.4o; gross receipts I;727; stock s1.7s2; shipments to Great Roston-ouiet 10 4o: gross receipts 5s; shipments to Great Britain A. Philadelphia-Steady, 10 65; gross re- eeipts 153; stock 2,045