The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1906-05-24
JOURNAL COURIER THURSDAY MAY 1906

| they may be consumed root and branch
in the fire unquenchabIe.' Deacon, we
are all poor ignorant fools together,
| but some of us have not found it out
yet We don't either of us mean half
as bad as we talk. We are more bark
than bite. If both Of US knew more we
would cuss and pray less, for do we
| human mites really know any more of
whom our blessings and cursings come
than do the magots in the cheese know
| Of the cow, A man in the world of his
cradle, sage in his infantile lore
Some of the old-time folk did in their
prayers seem to get right down mad
that the Almighty did not annihilate
all but themselves and their clique.
But this was an Improvement upon the
olden- times, when the Inquisition, in
| brning the bodies of those who did not
| think just as they did, to save their
own souls relieved the Almighty of the
task Happily the old school-ites are in
these days more thankful than curse
| full, Thankful we are still in the land
| of the living, Prisoners of Hope"
One good old deacon, who sold beer
by the mug, would not sell two mugs
| to the same person unless he had
walked around the square between the
drinks. Upon no condition would he
sell beer to be drank upon the premises
| to any one wearing mustache. He
considered it beastly. He would rather
a dog would lap from his mug than a
man with his hair on his teeth" 4
| New Haven bank refused to skim off
| the cream from mans note, a director
saying our bank wants no Pagan's pa
per, as man must be who has mouth
full of bristles.
| Query-Wil our acts of to-day seem
as ridiculous to our descendants as
seem to us the acts of Duh ancestors?
| AN "INTBRESTED" PROMOTER.
The first paved sidewalk in New Ha-
ven was of brick put down in front OF
hts shop by shoemaker, corner of Or
| ange and Chapel streets His brother,
who lived near by, would never walk
upon it, but took to the middle of the
road, wet or dry. His reason was that
there was no need of such fur-eignish
airs; dirt was good enough for Ameri-
cans to walk upon, and that his BROTH
err only put it down to wear out shoes
the faster He for one would not en-
| courage him in such ahominable cur
sedness.
IAN UN-APPRECIATED SCIOLIST.' .
A little French doctor was our first
mesmerizer, great human Tinker,
who claimed he could cure all Hook
| He was invited to give a public exhi-
bition of his power over the mind. The
| town joker was named as his first sub
iect, who also proved to be his last.
The doctor eyed the joker, saying.
| Monsieur Shorge, you no pretend sleep
when you no sleep; you not makes re
fun. oh! no doctor, you put me to
sleep and I'll be fast asleep when ! am
asleep sure-pop."
| Uncle George was soon put fast to
sleep, and as he was a man of vast obe-
slty, he snored in proportion, which
pleased the doctor uncommonly. La
grand subject lie grand cenvre," the
| doctor says; nov Uncle Shorge, you
are re bulle dog and you must make
bow-wow at the shentlemans. So the
dog commenced to bark; he barked so
loud and he barked so long the doctor
could not hear himself talk
To stop him he put hts hand over his
mouth, when the dog snapped In his
fingers and held them as in wise
Then the doctor howled louder than
the dog had barked, and the crowd
yelled out, Mad dog; mad dog; throw
on pail OF water!' which made the
dog laugh until he opened his mouth
and released the suffering doctor.
1t broke up the doctor psychological
fad and he was his own doctor for some
time, as the dogs teeth were sharp.
"Sa ere lie CHEN"
AN UN-SHRIEKED MARTYR.
A great calamity to the town was at
one time happily averted, but we will
| let the well-known Comico Tragedian
tell his own story Oess his gesticula-
tons of both leg and arm.) AS brand
pucked from burning Of Satans
| wood-pile, weary and heavy laden with
this incubus known as life, | longed for
nihiity; so ! retired with that grace, a
speciality of the family of which have
the honor to be an ignoble cion, in the
silent watches of an Egyptian night un-
der the arch of the Chapel street
bridge, whose sable vail would kindly
hide my act from the vulgar gaze and
was about to consign thin fair Image
| of His Maker into the 'dankoosey tarn
of the tempesttost waters of oblivion,
when Jesse Knevals! (think of itI
| twenty thousand people in New Haven
In 1915, and only one policeman on calD
cease from troubling and the weary
are at rest. Suddenly a still small
| voice from a darkness (that could be
felD whispered in my ear. Sylvester
son of valor, fight out the battle of
life; Sylvester, stay thy hand, good men
are sker-as."
l was pricked in the heart and re-
solved to live, yes, sir to live, to be a
| martyr, the kind the eagles Of Justice
| Shrek his glorious name
For If ten good men could have
saved the city of Sodom from destruc-
ton would face the ills of Inflated
| fortune and live on to save my dear ma
tive city from impending wrath New
Haven was saved. The image intrust-
ed to his care was passed on long ago,
but we listen in vain for the eagles to
shrek the name of Sylvester.
The span of our Quixote's life is DER
| and his ''Rozinante" Is known on our
streets no more.
A THEOLOGIAN IN BLACK.
1