The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-11-18

an engagement, with marriage sOhv distance in the future.
 Young people across the sea olten wait patiently for years until the time comes when they may marry with the prospect of living and bringing up family in responsibility and independ- |ence.
 with us. among very young people there Is often little discretion ana nt- tie notion of what expenses marriage may bring. As years multiply, people grow prudent A man of 30 and a Wo- man of as are much more likely to con- sider ways and means than girl of IS and a youth of 2I. To the latter, twelvemonth appears a big piece cut out of life, and they have no patience to wait until the man is earning enough to support wife and children. Perhaps this republic is the only spot on the civilized globe where people rush into marriage without the reflec- tion that marriage is the founding or a family, and that children are sure, or almost sure to come, bringing wit5 them their claims and the manifold expenses that will increase from in-
 fancy to adolescence.
 While marriage should never be for an instant thought of unless there IS true love to bind the parties in union that only death can break, still love by itself will not build a fire. or pay rent or provide meals. Love is enough for happiness, and happiness cannot exist without it, and yet there is always danger that love may wither like flower parched and athirst, if the
 strain of povery be too great
 Speaking of the strain of poverty, 1t
 is less dreaded by the extremely poor.
 whose requirements are lew, than py those whose standards are more ex- acting Thousands of immigrants are
 contended with mere food and shelter. A writer on social topics described, a year or two ago, what she called
 marriage of convienence in the East Side of New York. The two young people were a newsboy and an orphan girl. The latter had been turned adrfft ! by an old woman who had brought her up. She had nowhere to go, and John, who was her lover, had nowhere to take her, but he managed to secure tiny lodging in a tenement and, with
 cot and a washstand, secondhand
 stove, and an empty soap box for
 chair, they started housekeeping, hav- ing gone to a magistrate and been
 married. This was a marriage of con venience on the lowest plane
 In society of differentsorder and
 higher type, marriages of convenience are frankly spoken of by friends and
 relatives, although delicecy may draw n NSlA ONGT tne TENGidNAOIS Ol A4AliAiSo immediately involved. There are es-
 tates that, in the view of provident
 parents, should be united, and when
 tho heir to one marries the heiress of another an ideal contamination seems to be reached. Wealth, with some sem timental exception, is attracted to and
 by wealth. The son of q rich man is very likely to pay his court to the daughter of another owner of millions, and thus great fortunes increase in bulk and great houses rise in magnifi- cence zig
 These marriages are not necessarily influenced by what we call convent why two young people accustomed from the cradle to ease and luxury and the advantages in travel and educa- tion naturally resulting from the pos session of large means, should not sincerely love each other and be con genial They have had the same careful training, the same liberal education, and have mingled in the same set from the first dancing class to the whirl of social pleasure in which they find themselves as youth and mi "t To fancy that there Is no such thln# real love among the rich and fortu in this worlds goods is to make Fo'} stupid mistake.
 Probably second marriages, and marriages that are contracted in mld- de life, and even later, are most deeply marked by motives otheG than human loses his wife. and having house full of children discovers, after year or more of loneliness, that he is at the mercy of servants, that his children are neglect ed and are falling into habits of unre- straint. A widower without children, or with a single child, may easily find i a mate. but he who has four or five little ones hesitate to ask anyone to share his lot, or fears lest the woman who attracts him as the successor to his first love may prove an unsuccess- full stepmother
 Often such a man, in sheer despair. proposes marriage to his housekeeper, who has, at least. made him fairly comfortable and established some sort of government over the children. This is a marriage of convenience, purely, for everyone, husband and children alike thriving under the good of wife and mother who may not have inspired romantic love at first but who wins esteem and re- spect, which are good foundations for genuine affection.
 Nevertheless a marriage of this var iety is an experiment, and it is some times a dangerous one. No intimacy on earth equals that of marriage. No is so pitiful as that of a home. When mistakes are made with out the excuse of impulse, and with certain deliberation, people who are decent must accept the consequences of their folly with what dignity they can To make the best of a bad situa- ton is sometimes all that is left, and for the sake of family honor there should be no proclamation of misery to the four winds.
 We shall never as nation arrive at a point where we shall regard mar