davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the chloago News.l

LFrom the Chicago News.1
A crook should be taken straight to
jail
selhshness defeats itself sooner or
later.
Praise is honest-sometimes; hattery
never is.
Seeing is believing except when a
man sees two moons
It takes a clever woman to say cruel
things in an agreeable manner.
The more you try to please some peo-
pie the greater VIII be your failure.
Remember. young man, it is far easier
to find. a wife than it Il to lose her.
There is usually but one end to wo-
mans line of falkland that is the be-
ginning
A mans actioIs after marriage are
nothing like the samples submitted dur
ing courtship.
When he lends a helping hand the
average man makes so much noise that
It spoils the effect.
Time isn't mu'h money when the
three-ban merchants refuses to advance
more than 80 cents on your chronon-
eter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

One Of the hot political contests that
happened recently but which did not
get due notice in the newspapers. was
the victory Of President Murlin of
Baker university in running for the Re
publican nomination for constable in
Palmyra township, Douglas county. DR..
Murlin did not know he was running.
but he made a gallant race just the
same. It happened this way: A large
number of patriots aspired to serve
Palmyra township in the capacity OF
constable and their names appeared on
the primary ballot. But some embryo
politician among the Baker students
conceived the brilliant idea that the
onice ought to go to Baker university.
Therefore a crowd of the students went
out and urged all their friends to write
the name Of DR. Murlin on the ballot
for the nomination for constable. and
Dr. Bfurlin was nominated by forty
plurality.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

Volcanic activity is SO commonly as
ISOLATED with the palms of the tropics
that it is somewhat difficult to think
of subterranean fires burning fiercely
through the hard crust of the cold
northland. Yet one of the most extern
sive volcanic belts of the globe lies on
the southern coast of our Alaska prov
ince. This necklace of mammoth
peaks comprises ffty-seven active or
recently extinct volcanoes, with alti-
tudes ranging from the $4,000 feet of
Wrangel. above the head of Cooks in
let, down to the few hundred feet of
the Bogoslofs beyond the western ex-
tremity of the Alaskan peninsula. This
belt of volcanic activity is 10000 miles
long and not more than forty miles
wide. More than twenty-five of the
Alaskan peaks are live volcanoes to-
day. forming a varied and imposing
array of cones that rise in many cases
from the sea-@Tacoma Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26
Ignorance oil Historr.

F. A. Whitney, of Meeteesee. Wyo.,
who spent $1,000 recently rather than
disturb the grave of a favorite dog Ia
the route of an irrigation ditch laid
on his ranch. is greatly interested in
all charities that help children. Dur
ing a recent visit to New York he told
a story about a little slum urchin
whom he had sent on a months vaca-
ton into the country.
1.-THE lad was so ignorant he said,
that he thought we got mush from
the mushroom and milk from the milk
weed. One morning a lady pointed to
a horse in a field and said:
Look at the horse, Jimmy
" That's cow the boy contra
dicted.
"'No,' said the lady. It's a horse
" 'Taint It's a cow said the boy.
Horses has wagons to EN- - Ex-
change.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26
ToDAY AZ sPRNG-

Q de Cottonwood Tree done tole de Gavin.
To-day am spring jus as suah as you
An de Eldeh Tree says: why couhse
Might a-!knowed dat by de cottOnwo0d's
But what dat Il. white" says de Gavin.
P'intin, to de rocks whah de snOwbanks
De Robin so smaht he want to explain
Why you fool Gavin, dat is nuffin' but
Cherry 4,gyst Tree a-lis'nin' says, "couhse dats
Me an. Peach is gwine to de pawty to-
Use gwine in white an de Peach in pink.
You s,pos;ee we cale what de Apple Tree
cotsto asst an Eldeh. Cherry an de
Al dress'd up an abowin' low to each.
Holleh to de Gavin: Git UP out de
De OF Oak Tree hit neveh look aroun'!
Widout eveh gittin' of a invite.
His club foot step on de Cottonwood's
An the flowehs on theh hats he room.
De o., Oak Tree throw his aims an he
De sqlh3is done thank him on de cawn,s
Ten days. fob de Oak Tree hoileh an, saw.
Young folks a-spahkin', an hits spring
soudy ID. A. Ellsworth
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

While the Mcpherson county pri-
maries went overwhelmingly against
". R. Stubs. who was made an issue
In them you will notice that the coun-
ty convention was not overwhelmingly
against certain e--Ings that Mr. Stubs
IS advocating. And therein lies a vast
difference
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

If anyone fears earthquakes the Ar
kansas City Traveller advises him to
come to Kansas. such a thing has
not been heard of in modern times in
Kansas says the Traveller. Must be
that the Traveller was travelling some
where outside the state when that
trembling we were so proud of passed
through this section three or four
months ago. sul. it is true that any
body is entirely safe from earthquakes
in Kansas,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26
UNCLE SAM GREETs AN.

Completion of the last link of the ca
BILE that connects the United States
with China afforded the president of
the United States opportunity for re-
newed expressions of good will for the
great empire of the orient. whose mill
lions of souls are about to come into
closer touch with methods of modern
civilization. Fitting reply was made
by the emperor, by order of the empress
dowager. and it is to be hoped that no
early use of the cable to convey the
news of the slaughter of more mission
aries will follow.-Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

What's the matter with the coal con-
sumers getting together and agreeing
on the scale the operators shall pay the
miners, and the service the miners shall
render to the operators? Justice would
then be done
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

The fact that Senator Mcmillan won't
run against him is another indication
that Congressman Calderhead will go
back to Washington to ably misrepre-
sent the Fifth district for another two
years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26
HUM0R OF TIE DAY

I have come to tell you. Bridget said
me mistress: that ind you very hafa 10
veil msan, replied the cook 20 s. LADY.
best Philadelphia Press
7 am inclined to believe" said the NOR
aIlzer, that pursuit Is better than posses
"0h. / don't know rejoined the de,
you.''-Chicago News.
How are you and Mrs Noehance get
She Tilted me-
Congratulations
That's not funny"
But 1 meant it. I was married to her
myself once, and Hnow- '-CisYeland
Leader.
Namma-why. Johnny, what's the mat
Johnny-M-my new s-shoes hurt my
1damma--No wonder, dear; you have
amt got no other f-foot. Boo-hOo-hoo.-
Chicago News.
Tom-What would you do If you sud-
denly came INTO possession OF Soo.Vg0Y
Jack-rd take the first boat for Europe
and buy title.
Jack-Sure. Then I'd come back and
marry girl with more money than sense.
Chicago News
a great Indian chief
DO you think she was?"
She must have been. 1 demurred to
paying her the 81 she claimed, and then
she suddenly gave seven rrlgntful war
whoops, and, Selling me by the hairg held
me until I settled the demand. "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
What lovely collection of odd cups"
exclaimed guest, peering into the china
Did it take you long to get so many?~
are samples of the sets we had in the last
two years"'-Detroit Free Press
1T must be hard on the. people of Lon
don to have chief magistrate who is al
ways like a bad dream
What do you mean by that?'
delphia Press.
you think a mustache would be becoming
Why not rent one ana ssee"-cleveland
Plain Dealer,
Diamonds had just gone up again. stiu
the household did not despair.
Perhaps these barons don't know" he
reflected. that coal is carbon, too Phil
adelphia Ledger.
rs your mistress at homer" inquired
Mrs Borem, standing in the shadow of the
I don't know. nla'am,' replied the ser
want. Cant tell whether she's at home
u
hov wart on the side O. yer nose, snaas am
she AIM. philadelphia Press.
Arrogant Stranger-Say, boy. is there a
! decent restaurant in this village?
! Native Urchin-Yes'r. an they're want
! in waiter, too You're jist in time fur
1 the job.-Chicago Tribune.
The mother of the Gracchi was praising
: her boys.
she makes me tired - exclaimed the
woman the other side of the back ward
fence. THE little imps stone our pigeons
and tie tin cans to our dogs tail, just the
same as the kids in the tenement house
across the alley
From which we learn that no boy is a
hero to the next door neighbors.-C Chicago
Tribune.
when we first got married my wife and
I quarreled for a year about whether we
should buy automobile or a horse and
/ buggy
How did you settle it?''
We compromised on a baby carriage -
philadelphia Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

AS the date for the Republican state
convention draws nigh the mixed stu
alton becomes much clearer no faster.
Factions are about as gloriously mud
died as it is possible for them TO be.
And it may require months to deter
mine who really wins and where the
people come inf anywhere.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

Arkansas" says the Birmingham
News, will contribute the Hon. Jeff
Davis to the senatorial vaudeville
team" And the audience is expectant-
" awaiting the announcement of the
stunt he will perform.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

Attorney General Hadley has now
been III for a month, but none of the
cards attached to the flowers that have
been brought in bears the name of the
Standard OIL company.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26
NOTHING HEAVENLY THERE.

The man with the muck-rake was
chiefly blamable, according to Bunyan,
for refusing to look at heavenly things
which were before his eyes. A long
and eager inspection Of the senate fails
to reveal anything heavenly in its as
pect One can heardly imagine d body
OF men more beautifully adapted to the
purposes Of a muck-rake than Mr. AID
rich and his followers--PortIand Ore
gonian
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

The postoface authorities in an Ohio
town are reported to be seeking to de-
liver a letter to a man named Stefan
Brescztrans perczatmentzanszy. Ger
tainly, says an exchange, "a man with
8 name like that carries his sign with
him, and should be easily located. p
Wen. If you think so, Just go out and
yell it a few times and see if anybody
reAnonds
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26
GAME OF THE COAL BARoNs.

Possibly a settlement of the anthra-
cite strike might be- achieved by a rep
resentative committee of consumers
agreeing to sign the scale of prices
which the operators want to establish.
This would keep men employed, bust
ness moving and, on the whole, would
probably prove to be an economical
move.-1ndianapoli News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

Dowie says he has contempt for all
his opponents. What a vast supply he
must have had stored up in order to
have enough to go around.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26
WOULD IT BE WORTH THE COST?

VINO wants strike! Evidently the
coal operators. They are ready for 1t.
They have large sticks Of anthracite
on hand and they are better prepared
for a battle with the miners than ever
before. A few of their number, indeed.
may desire to erect a compromise
with the miners, but a majority feel
that the time has come when they can
fight a pitched battle and by winning
it destroy the effectiveness of the
miners organization and make them
selves complete masters Of the anthra-
cite Industry. It remains to be seen
whether such a victory would be worth
all that it win cost. AS for the con-
sumers-oh, we'll, what's the use Of
talking about them?-Wan Street Jour
nal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

The joke is on Chairman "BiI' sapp
y-or was it intentional2 In his speech
IN calling the Democratic state conven-
lion to order yesterday Chairman Sapp
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

Speaking OF paradoxes. a Russian
newspaper called 1.-The Polar star
printed such hot stuff that the authori-
ties suppressed 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

The average Democrat can see trou-
bic ahead for the Republican party in
Kansas this year without using a spy
glass or a microscope for looking pur-
noses
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

We will now see if Kansas City. kan.
also follows Milwaukee in turning
down candidates for reelection by the
name Of Rose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

In its mannef of giving out the
news of the earthquake and conhagra-
ton at San Francisco, the Associated
Press once more emphasized the fact
that 1t is the greatest of all news-g gath
ering organizations. With the wires a
that point a hopeless tangle the As
ISOLATED Press yet found a way to get
the neEs to the world though what
were the difaieuh7es or What the dan
gers to the lives Of operators or to the
men who prepared the fntellfgences
are not to be depleted The country
owes the Associated Press a vote of
thanks for its excellent service on
this occasion. -Leavenworth Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

Why doesn't the Hon Mr. Dowie
make the usual announcement that
''there are no sore spots on him."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

If it is true that san Francisco was
punished on account Of its sins. Chicago
ought to be shaking in It's shoes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26
Weird Tales From salton Desert


"Wierd and wonderful are the stories
which have come out of the great Sal
ton desert in California" writes Edgar
f. Howe in Technical World Magazine
for April
1T was there, on the lower Colorado
river, that Captain Smith found the
lame turtle, and so won its gratitude by
healing it that it returned in later
years and offered its services as an an
mated ferry when the captain was on
an island threatened with a rising
flood.
"On yonder mesa. sloping upward
from Volcano Springs, is the invisible
city, where the clang of street car
bells and all the hubbub of metrop-
oils can be heard, but where only the
gravelly soil, the dreary mountains and
the scant, dwarfed vegetation can be
seen.
Near Superstition mountain is the
spring of natural gin, where the coyote,
the gray wolf, the fox. and the wild
fowl are on perpetual debauch; and
near by is the hill from which flows
the mine of crystals which make per-
feet pens. and the deposit of asbestos
where one can tear off sheets of blot
ting paper ready made.
1T was in the Superstition noun
tains that Otto Schmidt found the in
visible serpents with glass cups on the
tails that reyolved and produced beau
tiful music It was in this desert, too,
that an ingenious Yankee found a
group of camels. abandoned in early
days by the army, and, by syphoning
the water from their sacks. was able
to irrigate a farm, while the animals
piled back and forth between the river
/ and the farm, ever keeping UP the
water supply.
Now the grim valley. rendered Won
derfully fertile by irrigation, is the
home of 5000 thriving people. Re
Gently the Colorado river, breaking
through its old bounds. began again to
run into the valley, which it formerly
occupied, but now great steel and con-
crete dams are being built and by May
l the river will be forever shut out, ex-
cept as it IS needed for irrigation pur-
poses ta
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

The ground is still left in San Fran
cisco. even If it is a trif1e changed and
the landscape is disarranged.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

Miss WelIon=The impudent thing
told me to my face that was getting
old and wrinkled.
She didn't say It to your face. you
know. She couldn't see that.-Chicago
Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

The country in the excitement of the
coast horror has forgotten the Spring
field lynchers, but not so the state Of
Missouri. The catastrophe may bring
the guilty men a delay of punishment,
but that is aIL-Wichita Eagle
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26
HARRIS.

Senator W. A. Harris is up against
the Real Thing. The Democrats of
kansas have become imbued with the
idea that Harris can be elected gov
ernor, and are insisting that he takes
the nomination Harris does not want
It, and there is little to be added to his
honors by the governorship after his
creditable service in the higher Office
of United States senator Those who
are demanding that he run are men
who have delighted in honoring him
in the past. and they feel that he owes
It to his party to make this race. But
Harris says he is poor, and truth
fully says that politics has been a los
ing game for him. and that he needs
% devote all his time now to his bust
ness. It will be readily seen that the
situation is embarrassing for him. and
whichever horn of the dilemma he ac-
cepts viii certainly entitle him to
pathy.-Burlingam Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26
kansas cOMMENT
THE EARTHoUAKE NEWS.

w
The Associated Press Is to be com
pfmented on the manner in which it
has handled the news from San Fran
cisco since the terrible earthquake
there. It sustained its reputation for
expedition, thoroughness and reliable
ity in the face of obstacles that were
Well nigh fnsuperabIe- While all
sorts of exaggerated and absurd re-
ports found their way out of the DOOM
ed city, they were not countenanced by
TINS greatest news-gathering and news
dispensing organizai lions, which told
the real facts and revealed the true sit
uation when such facts were almost
impossible to obtain. When it is re-
called that for quite awhile but one
Telegraph wire was working out OF san
francisco. the triumph of the Assoc
Grated Press is the greater. That wire
was hesieged with all manner of mes
Sages from all manner of people, the
great as well as small. Yet the local
manager of the Associated Press, with
admlrab bic energy got his force to
working, and in very few hours the
world had very comprehensive view
OF what mad happened to the metro
poIls OF the Pacific coast. At no time
did these representatives of the Asso-
GATED Press in San Francisco lose their
head. stories came out of thousands
on thousands being killed; the Asso-
GATED Press from the outset was con-
sentative in its estimate. Experience
had Taught that the tendency was to
exaggerate and these neWs-gathere
were careful to work only from the
basis of what they themselves saw and
heard from the most reliable sources
The result was a triumph in news
gathering and dispensing under the
most trying conditions As is the case
IN every great event, the government
as well as the people in general OBJ
tanned their first information Of the
catastrophe from the Associated Press.
Long before the government received
word from officials in San Francisco
the more important details of the dis
aster had been conveyed to the presi-
dent and other high in official circles
IN Washington by the Associated Press.
In every town in the United States hav-
ing an Associated Press paper the story
of the disaster was soon known
Hutchinson News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

Diamonds had just gone up again. Still
the household did not despair.
Perhaps these barons don't know" he
reflected, that coal is carbon, too Phil
adelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

What a lovely collection of odd cups,''
exclaimed a guest, peering into the china
cabinet.
did it take you long to get so nany?''
"Oh, no." replied the hostess. Those
are samples Of the sets we had in the last
two years.''-Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

rs your mistress at home2" inquired
Mrs Borem, standing in the shadow of the
doorway.
I don't know, ma am, replied the ser
want Cant tell whether she's at home
or not till git a good look at yc. If W.
hov wart on the side O. yer nose, sn1as am,
she in't.''-Philadelphi Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

1t must be hard on the people of Lon
don to have a chief magistrate who is al
ways like bad dream
What do you mean by that?"
wei, isn't he a knight mayor? ''-Phila-
delphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

What's your advice, Miss Peasley2 Do
you think a mustache would be becoming
to me2''
Why not rent one and see''-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

Tom-What would you do if you sud-
denly came into possession of S50Ug92
Jack-Td take the first boat for Europe
and buy a title.
Tom-Buy a title?
Jack-Sure. Then I'd come back and
marry a girl with more money than sense.
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

Mamma-why, Johnny, what's the mat
ter?
Johnny M-my new s-shoes hurt my
fleet.
them on the wrong feet
Johnny-W-weH. c-can't help it.
amt got no other f-foOt. BOO-hOo-hOO.-
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

THE medium said she was controlled by
a great Indian chief"
DO you think she wasp"
She must have been. 1 demurred to
paying her the 81 she claimed and then
she suddenly gave seven IrIgntful war
whoops, and, selling me by the hair held
me until / settled the demand. "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-26

Arrogant Stranger-Say, boy is there a
decent restaurant in this village2
Native Urchin-Yes'r. an they're want
in a waiter too. You're jist in time fur
the job.-Chieago Tribune.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-02-21
STORAGE.

100 SEPARATE STORAGE ROOMS; STORAGE sY
the load; packing. hauling and shipping. See Us
before storing THOMAS DoWL1N0 4 CO..
Auetioneers 6l2 Of. NV; Phone Main SIS.
ia20-u