davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
The Ingenious Sweetheart.

"A strange thing-what you would
call a miracle-happened to me yester-
day. said young girl ct. w. Pitcoe
sent me a bouquet of beautiful, waxy,
white gardenias, and after these gar
denias had been in water a half hour,
brown writing appeared on each of
them.
you're all right said the first
gardenia
1T is nice to be here alone with
YOU said the second gardenia.
Think Of the giver. Don't forget the
giver,' said the third.
Think Of the giver Don't forget
the giver,' said the third.
"Willie dreams Of you every night,
said the fourth gardenia.
Clara said the fifth, Clara Doodle
doom, Willie Pitcoe loves you
Il sent for Mr. Pitcoe and demanded
an explanation. His explanation was
simple enough. You know how, if you
touch a gardenia, Or indeed any flower
of the magnolia family, it turns brown
in the touched place an hour or so
afterward? Well, Mr. Pitcoe, taking ad-
vantage of this fact, had written with
needle on each of my gardenias some
Il was pleased. I was, truly"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
STORIES

Il wish, DEAR" said the little woman
in the ermine stole. that you would
come with me 10 Mrs. Smarthing's tea.
It's going to be so much fun, and the
mem"
THE men, my dear!" interrupted the
man in the paddock coat. THE men
who 20 to pink teas aren't worth l.. y
tioning. And as for fun. Do you call
it fun to stand around on one leg and
sip hot water and MUNICH animal crack
ers and listen to the wall Of long
lost mean ong-haired-vocal genius
just because the candles are shaded
with pink tissue paper and there is
bunch of pink roses on the mantle
piece? No, l thank you, my dear!
and willing to take Bobbie to the circus.
to take you shopping. and to take your
mother to the theater and museum:
but I won't take anybody to. pink
ter"
But" she protested, this isn't going
to be a pink tea. It's a Hungarian tea,
and the men always come to one Of
these. It's the latest fad. and you'll
meet half your business friends there.
The hostess gets a lot Of girls togeth-
er, all the prettiest ones she knows.
She asks them to wear the Hungarian
peasant costume. and really, if any
thing could make girl look pretty,
those bonnets and short skirts"
Short skirts?" interrupted the hus-
band, meditatively.
Yes. and silver girdles. Well, the
tea is made in good Hungarian fashion
and is served with a glass of cognac."
"Cognac?"
Yes, and lots Of sugar. You lift
lump of sugar with the small silver
tongs, dip it in the cognac, then set
fire to it with a lighted taper, and
drop it while burning into the tea
The man in the paddock coat looked
doubtfully at his wife.
And is every fellow allowed to have
all the sugar he wants?" he asked.
why, Of course"
And is each piece of sugar dipped
in cognac?'
Certainly, my dear"
Then, I'll CO." was the unhesitating
rejOinder. Il guess that business can
wait until tomorrow"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
STRANGE PENALTIES

The strange sentence imposed re-
Gently On a professional beggar-a fine
of ten cents a day, to continue for two
years-was being discussed by some
lawyers.
1T was a good sentence" said one,
"for it will keep this woman under the
magistrates eye for al THAT time. It
was a good sentence, and an original
one"
1T reminds me-" said another, "of
sentence that once saw melted out
to a wife-beater This man, coming
home drunk, was refused admittance
by his wife-was obliged, in fact, to
sleep all night on the cold, hard door
step-and in the morning, when she let
him in, the man was so Infatuated that
he struck the woman on the arm. He
was, Of course, arrested, and the mag
istrate sentenced him to fight the
bench. To fight the bench; to fight the
magistrate, a Sullivan of a fellow; and
the unlucky wife-beater weighed no
more than a hundred pounds. The fight
came off at once in an alley behind the
courtroom, and the wife looked on
while the husband took as cruel and
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
Best Of All Plays.

1 do not care for problem plays; give
me the kind Of play
In which the girl is just as pure as are
the flowers in May;
The play in which in time of need the
hero's right On deck,
And where the scheming william gets it
always in the neck.
1 love to hear the girl refuse the vii
lain's gold to take,
And say that rags are royal buds when
worn for virtues sake;
1 love to see her beaux decline to heed
the rich mans beck,
And swat the villain with a club
athwart his ugly neck.
Oh. not for me the Gallo farce, the Ib-
woman is doll;
Sen fOl-de-rOl.
The hero's life and in the end just gets
it in the neck!
I'll take the sturdy plot in which the
villain tries to wreck
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
81 SCOTTISH JOKES 80

always saying when she broke dish
that it was cracked before. AS soon as
a dish was broken the servants ex-
cuse might have been heard all over
the house-"It was cracked before
One day the little lad tumbled down.
stairs. and his mother cried in alarm,
"Oh, Tommy, have you broken your
head?" Tommy got to his feet,
scratched his head, and said, with a
grin, Never mind, mother, it was
cracked before"
we'll known Scotch horsecouper,
who was considered a respectable
member of congregation, was fire.
quently pressed by the minister to al
low himself to be nominated for the
eldership. He always put the matter
off with evasive answers, but at length
the minister demanded the reason for
his refusal Thus driven into a corner
the worthy replied: Man, l wonder to
hear you, Mr.. McNab. Hoo can a man
be an elder and sell a horse?"
"A say, gran'ma, whit's telephone ?"
ITS something you speak into an
folk can heart at th'ither en- O. tn
toun" Are you a telephone, grand
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

bloody beatin as 1 have ever seen
inflicted
a. said third lawyer. saw a beg
gar hailed before a magistrate for ply
ing his trade in a town where begging
was prohibited. The beggar pleaded ig-
norance of the law. The magistrate
pointed out that placards, forbidding
beggars, were posted all over the place.
The beggar thereupon said he couldn't
read You can't, eh?" said the magis-
trate. "Then We will confine you in the
town Jail until you have learned to
read and write simple English"
"A woman Of talent and social stand.
ing-a female poet in fact-was ar
rested for chronic drunkenness" said
another lawyer 1.-The magistrate sen.
fenced her to do missionary work for a
year in a neighboring reformatory fol-
drunken women. This proved a good
sentence. 1t brought home to the err
ing poet the evils of alcoholism in q
most moving way. She swore off, and
since that time she has not touched
a DROP while her output Of poetry has
increased in quality and quantity, and
her price per line on the market has
gone up several per cent"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

'Weel, John, how are you today?"
asked a Scottish minister, on meeting
one Of his parishioners "Gey weel,
sir; gey weel," replied Jim cautious
ly, "gin it wasna for the rheumatism
in the RIGHT leg" "Ah, John, be thank
full, for there is no mistake you are
getting old, like the rest Of us, and old
age doesn't come alone" "Auld age,
SIR" returned John. Il wonder to hear
We. Aud age has naething tae dae
wit. Here's my ither leg jist as ould;
an it5s soon and soople yet"
A boy was holding a candle for his
master, a plumber, in a Scottish town,
who was doing some repairing to a
pipe inside dwelling house. The boy
carelessly held the candle too near his
masters head, and up went his hair
in blaze. The master turned round
in a rage, and said: You stupid idiot!
Can you no. watch what ye're doing?
The folk Of the house ii think we've
been singing a sleeps head with the
smell ye're setting up" "Aweel," said
the boy, they'll mebbe no be far
wrang."
A CHEEKY little fellow was accus-
toned to hear q servant in the house
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
=VANDERBLL rs JOKE

A Yale man was praising the new To-
connective tender that Cornelius Wander
bilt has invented.
Il am glad to see" he said, that
Vanderbilt is making a name for him.
self. l thought at college that he
would He was in the class of '95 at
Yale. and all his classmates recognized
that he had a brilliant and original
mind.
Vanderbilt was intensely original.
Sometimes his originality took the
form Of joke. l remember once In
Philadelphia, after a football game,
haw he and a half-dozen of us dined
at a fashionable hotel, and he brought
his originality into splendid play.
I'VE had a private room for our din
ner, and when we entered the room
and took our seats, the table glittered
with a great quantity Of handsome sill
verware. The waiter busted himself
with our chairs. and then he went out
to get the oysters.
derbilt said:
Here is a joke. Every man seize
all the silver he can, and hide it under
the table
Like most boys, we were but too
ready for a joke, and under the table
we got forthwith, leaving it's surface
bare
soon we heard the waiter approach
ing We peeped out at him from under
the long cloth. He entered the room
with the grave, absorbed and conscien-
tious air that walters have, and then
he gave a gasp, and set down his tray
with a clatter
They've run off, he exclaimed,
tor? Oh, to catch
And out the man ran at breakneck
speed.
LAS soon as he was gone Wander
bilt gave the signal, and we all got up
and took out places again, and quietly
arranged the silver as it had been be-
fore We were sitting thus in calm
conversation when the waiter and the
proprietor tore in upon US as though
they had been fired out of cannon.
I'VE look at them, with something
of reproach and surprise in our eyes.
why we said, what the deuce
are they mad here-Or-"
There's nothing wrong stammered
the proprietor. He gave the waiter an
indescribable look. James, you infer
nal rascal what do you mean?'
$50 help me, governor the waiter
gasped.
"'Oh, you're drunk. you idiot the
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
Books for the Bedridden.

Books for the neutrality-suspicious.
for invalids-that is our latest novel
ty," said the clerk.
He pointed to a row Of shelves where
on there stood, instead of books,
pasteboard boxes labeled with books
titles.
Here is Robinson Crusoe,'" he said
taking down and opening the box that
was thus marked. Within lay the
leaves Of Robinson Crusoe" unbound.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

proprietor interrupted, and he pushed
the waiter out of the room and backed
toward the door himself.
Gentlemen he said, Il beg your
pardon. An unaccountable error. Will
withdraw"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
NOTICE.

All members of Walla Walla Tribe
No. %, Improved Order Red Men, are
requested to meet at Odd Fellows
temple at 1:30 p. m. February q, to
attend the funeral of Brother William
Ritter. All sojourning members in
vited.
E. L. HOUGHTON,
Sachem
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets.
Druggists refund money if it fails to
cure. E. w. Groves signature is on
each box. CSC.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
For Sale.

Two fine lots in Green's addition no
better in that part Of town. Inquire at
ti1iso office.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
Moved to III South Second Street

Where 1 hope to see all the old and
many new faces-where l will extend
the same good service and fine grade Of
meats to my patrons. Don't forget Ill
South Second street
E. A. AUGUSTINE.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
WANTED.
Sachem.

To buy a good second nand safe q
medium size, must be in good condi-
ton. Inquire at this office.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

MAJ" "A telephone! Whit dis tn lad
die mean?" "Oh, paw said tae NAV
yesterday no tae tell We noythin', or
it wild be over a tn toun in a crack"
A young Glasgow minister, who
thought himself quite capable Of max
ing great improvements. performing
his first marriage ceremony. asked the
bride. do you take this man in pref
erence to every other man." received
the smart answer, Deed, no, sir; I'd
rather haze yerser."
The teacher was trying her best to
show her class of little boys that God
has given us power to resist tempta-
ton If We determined to do so. You
should always turn a deaf ear to Satan.
But 1 can't" groaned a keen little fell
low; II haven't got one."-Scottish
American.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

Subscribe for the Evening States
man.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

A CHEEKY little fellow was accus-
toned to hear a servant in the house
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

81 wish, dear" said the little woman
in the ermine stole, that you would
come with me 10 Mrs. Smarthing's tea
It's going to be so much fun, and the
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31

This is only one of the advantages offered
by The SOUTH EST LIMITED, Kansas
City to Chicago. Its route is via the
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31
Frank caskey Dies at Hospital.

Frank Caskey, aged about 35 years,
died Tuesday morning at nine O'Clock
at ST. Mary's Hospital, of an internal
disease. He had been brought to the
Spring, where he was employed at
the big orchard. He had been a resi-
and was formerly a teamster. De
ceSsed was the son-in-law of J.. S.
TUsker, and leaves a wife and three
weeks-old baby. The funeral was
held this afternoon from the Ullery
made in South Side Cemetery.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31
Modern and Progressive.

Eiler's big show, which has been
before the public quite a number OF
years, always with a view of the best,
and on such a broad scale of liberali-
ty that he has now no rival-leading
all others with something new-hav-
ing now placed before the amusement
loving public the new ffve-act sensa-
tional melodrama. King of the Cat
tie Ring which is exclusively novel
and exciting, written by Hal Reid
expressly for Eiler's big show. He
has here woven pathos, comedy and
that it makes this production the
most interesting of all plays thai
bear his name. They appear at Ros-
well Tuesday, Nov. 6.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31
g g $50 3 g g 3 8 3 8 3 = 3 =
3 IN THE SOCIAL WORLD. 3
g g g g 3 g g g g 3 g 8 {, g 3 g

The Misses Littleield gave a Hal
lowe'en party to about thirty of the
younger people and a few ~neighbor-
last night. For the occasion the walls
were decorated with black moons,
stars and hob-goblins, black cats,
Jack-o'Ianterns, etc, and the table
in the center of the room was orna-
mented with an immense Jack7o'4
lantern, apples grapes and other
fall fruits, with a wreath of chrysan-
themums which circled it completely,
n with yellow and black ribbons
which stereamed from the ceiling.
Yellow and black were the appropri-
ate colors for the decorations, and
the effect was most pleasing.
Fortune telling and various Hallow-
cen games were the a-maeements of
the evening. A trip to the haunted
house on North Hill was a feature,
as a "sure enough" ghost was found.
Late in the evening chicken salad.
served.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31
FARMER ROBBED OF
HIS HOARDED GOLD.

Muskogee, 1. T., Oct. 31.-At Rus
sell, 1. T., 25 miles south of here,
two armed men called H. G.. MCGEE,
a farmer, out of bed early this morn
ing and forced him to divulge the
hiding place OF $4,000 in gold, accord
ing to a dispatch received at the e..
S. Marshals office in Muskogee. The
robbers, it is said, PLACED the money
in bags and escaped to the hills.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31
Death From Tuberculosis.

Mrs. Foster, aged As years, died of
consumption Sunday night in a ten
living since her arrival from Iowa
City, Ia, about three months ago.
The remains are resting at the u
lery undertaking house, While word
from relatives is awaited.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31

Charles Bond went to Acme this
morning.
Mrs. P. o. Poulson, Of Dexter. was
here shopping today.
We hammer iron and steel for q
hving-Texas Shop. If
]. B. Phillips returned to his
home in Hereford today.
Misses Minnie and Victoria Strong
went to Artesia last night.
L. w. Goodell, of Dexter. was a
business visitor in Roswell today.
List your property with Woodruff
& DeFreest, Okla. Block. 4.
Deputy Sheriff Walter Ray went to
Amarillo this morning on legal bust
ness.
Mr.. and Mrs. B. G. Pearson left
this morning for Canyon City on a
visit.
Don't forget that we. are still sell
ing candy at 15c a pound.-Racket
Store. tt
B. L. Miller will move tomorrow
from Roswell to Elida. to make his
home.
M. M. Drunk went to Kansas City
this morning after a party of home
seekers.
Miss RJoI1in Turlyn Oft rofrrrnod fhic
morning from a visit at her nome in
Artesia.
Mrs. J. F. Mathewson and son went
to Carlsbad last night for a two
weeks visit.
D. B.. Jackson returned yesterday
from a trip to Dexter. Harry Holly
came up with him.
Miss Irma Totzek went to Artesia
last night for a visit with her sister,
Mrs. E. E. McNatt.
Smith Jenkins mas gone to Sulli-
van, Ind, to accept a position in a
commercial college.
"a -. q OoOh oSShN
New Orleans, and his wife left
night for Carlsbad.
FOR RENT Two nice front rooms
cheap. One room furnished for
four. Inquire at P. V. Market. OSt4
F.. B. Means, of Warren, Pa, who
been here since Saturday seeing
the country, left last night for Arte-
STA.
Mrs. D. H. Rathbone came up
from Dexter this morning to join her
husband, who has been here three
days.
Albert S. Smith, of Lake Arthur,
arrived this morning to spend two
days getting read for a trip to Kan
City.
Mrs. C. L. Allison will return to-
night from a two weeks visit at Dali
las. Mr.. Allison went to Amarillo to
meet her.
Engineers B. NJ. Hall and W. M.
Reed came up from Carlsbad this
morning on business for the U. s..
Service.
Mrs. VIM. Wildanger, of Flint,
Mich, who has been here for a month
for her health. went to Carlsbad last
on a pleasure trip.
Mr.. and Mrs. w. r. Cummins and |
Mrs. Tom Davenport returned last
night from Dallas, where they spent
weeks attending the fair.
Misses Willie May and Ruth Pitt
arrived this morning from Day
ton The latter is preparing to go
the Territorial school for the leaf
a-l
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31

1. N Sargent. who has been in the
Deaconess Hospital, ST. Louis, for
our months undergoing treatment,
has returned, greatly improved.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31
p. v. & N. e. TIME TABLE.

give a Halloween party tonight at
their home on North Main street to
a party of young friends.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31
WANfED:--At once, boy with
pony to deliver papers. Apply
at Record.

King OF. the Cattle Ring" pre-
scented by Eiler's big show under
canvas. A new. play, written by Hal
Reid. 1t will surely please. Tuesday,
Nov. 6.
Mr.. and Mrs. J. A. Klasner came
in yesterday from their Lincoln conn
ty ranch, Mr.. klasner going to his
work at Carlsbad last night and Mrs.
Klasner returning home.
Mrs. J.. NJ. Nelson returned last
night from Dallas. where she had
been spending three week with her
daughter, Miss Eva, VINO is attending
a musical conservatory in the Texas
metropolis.
W. S. Prayer, Harry Jaffa and Mr..
Manly. the sheep buyer from Trini-
dad. returned last night from River
side. where they had been shipping
5000 sheep sold by Messrs Prayer
and Jaffa to Mr.. Mandy.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31
Big Bargain.

We have two slightly scratched
machines. which we win sell on pay
ments. cheap. Call early. OSt2
SINGER SEWING MACH co
40 N. Main st.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31


c. L. Heath, of Artesia, was here
today.
Good and board. 127 S. Pa
Phone SOB. O4tf. :
]. T. Corn, of Artesia, was in the
city today.
F. E. Allen. of Texico. left las
night for Artesia.
o. L. Bowman came up from Dex
ter this morning.
Woolverton Practical Business Col
iege.- PHONE 138. Il.
Judge J. B.. Bailey returned las
night from Amarillo.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31

List your property with Woodruff
& DeFreest, okla Block. room r
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-10-31
Eor Sale.

A house and lot on Main Street al
a special bargain for a few days only
CARLTON & BELL.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-01
STORM DAMAGE.
Wellington Suffers From a
Heavy Fall of Hail.
Smashed Skylights aud Win
dOws All Over Town.
RAIN IN TORRENTS.
other Points Report " heat and
Fruit Injured.
Territory Around Marysyille
Gets a Good Soaking.
RAIN IN TORRENTS.

wellington, Kan, May IA furious
storm Of rain and hail coming from he
southwest struck this town a few min
utes after 6 o'clock last evening. The
hailstones smashed nearly every sky
light in town and broke window glass
In all directions. Rain fell in torrents
for about twenty minutes. Reports
from other points are that the storm
did great amage to the fruit and
wheat.
AT MARYSVILLE-
There was a heavy downpour Of rain
IN Marshall county last night. The pre-
cipitation was Of short duration, but
rain fell in torrents while it lasted.
Quite a heavy wind is reported in sew
eral sections Of the county The rain
was general throughout this section and
VIII be beneficial to oats and wheat, but
viii retard corn planting.
AT SENECA.
This section was visited by severe
hail and rain storm.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-01
MIR. HARTMAN UP IN ARMS.
WIN Not Build to Seattle Unless He
Gets Franchise He Wants.

Seattle, May lie. H. Hartman
declared yesterday that his road, in
entering Seattle, would demand the
ed other lines and that unless he got
an expenditure of between $S,00O,0Oo
plans in Seattle represented total ex-
pense that would mean an annual in
terest charge of $685. 600. But unless
he gets a franchise satisfactory to the
road he win hold his real estate and
refuse to extend. Incidentally Mr..
Hartman announced that there were
real estate spectators on the Sound
who had held I'd his road and de-
clared that rather than do any more
business which gave spectators a
chance to hold I'D the lines he would
wait ten years for legitimate property
valuations.
Hartman wants an entrance to his
passenger depot over Fourth avenue
which would involve a slight curve to
reach the property.
City officials have been trying tc
keep railroads of this street and sug-
gested two other thoroughfares
Double and sharp curves, involving
! difficult operating problems, would en-
sue. Mr.. Hartman declares positively
that he would not consider these
terms The Hartman system will no
commence building until all franchise
matters are settled in Tacoma ant
Seattle. Within a year after these
grants are had Mr.. Hartman saws he
VIII have his lines completed.