Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-03-16
CHULA, MISSOURI.
HOW IT WAS PLACED ON THE
MAP

cause Chula has but recently been
placed upon the maps of a state whose
citizens insist upon being shown" and
who refuse to give proper cultivation
to their credulity.
Inc man VINO compelled the map
makers to take notice of Chula enjoys
the not uncommon name of Smith
E. II. Smith. He confesses to looking
more like the proprietor of a razor
backed hog farm, mortgaged from the
front doorstep TO the back pasture lot,
than he does like an editor. But this
Smith OF unpoetic name has poetry
In his soul. He is, in fact. the
author of the only honest book of
poems ever published When he pre-
sented copy of his book of poems to
the general passenger agent, r. A.
Miller, in recognition of the great
est time of his career" he told him
confidentially that he had selected the
title which the book bears. -Four
Pushes in order to beat the book
reviewers to the expression.
Il knew them fellers would have to
roast something explained Smith,
"and l reckoned they'd just roast the
frst thing that came to hand, and,
of course. that was the title. When
they reached the poetry the stuff was
so much better than the title that they
ma to boom it,
Smiths great opportunity came
when the st. Paul put the Southwest
Limited train into service between
Chicago and Kansas City, when he
wrote the following about the train:
The new train on the Chicago. Mil
waukee & ST. Paul railway passed
through Chula for the first time Sun
day night, about three hours after
dark There was no hesitation at
Chula town, at least none perceptible.
There are no high places in Chula
town, hence we question whether she
ever touched the track. She just
ripped great fiery hole in the dark
ness and left the atmosphere heated
steam hot for second, then whistled
for Mantle or Chicago we are not
certain which. If Central had not
been closed, we would have telephoned
to Chicago to see if she hadn't run
clean through the Union station She
is sure 'nuf 'hurry-up train Chi
cago is only about three miles up the
mer sunlight, vestibuled and electric
lighted from the cowcatcher clear back
a hundred yards behind the last coach.
She is knee deep with velvet carpets.
and her cushions are as soft as a girls
cheek. She is lighted to a dazzle and
heated to fragile. She was built to
beat the world, and her gorgeous
splendor makes us chuckle to think
we have a pass on her She goes so
fast that the six porters look like one
big fat niger She is called The
Southwest Limited She stops, going
both ways, at Chillicothe, and you
can get on there, but you'll have to
hurry"
In the gratitude of his heart the
general passenger agent wrote the
poet-editor that whenever he desired
to come to Chicago he would be more
than pleased to cause the Southwest
Limited to pause long enough at Chula
TO take him on and again to let him
off. This offer was accepted by wire
as Editor Smith does not believe in
toying with fortune nor flirting with
opportunity. 1t was too late for the
limited that day, so Editor Smith set
the following day as the date for his
journey. Then he wrote a piece for
his paper as everything that happens.
if anything does happen, in Chula, is
news, and told the citizens that he
and as the guest of the general pas
senger agent and of the road.
The story took the entire front
page of the Chula News, with cuts of
the editor and of the train. AS might
be expected the entire business Of
Chula was suspended the following
day, and every man, woman and child
not bedridden was down to the depot
bright and early. The Chula band
in full uniform was there playing sug-
gestive pieces about cOnquering
heroes, and Chula's mayor revised his
last Fourth of July "oration" to fit the
occasion.
ABOUT the llnt ne IcdCneu INC
spread eagle stage of his address there
was long, mournful wall pitched in
a minor key which sounded like the
expiring war whoop of an Apache In
dian. 1t was the Southwest Limited
hailing Chula. Mo. Editor Smith
grasped his new s2.75 suit case firmly
by both straps and waited, all a-trem
BILE with excitement. The band be-
gan furious fanfaring and the citi-
zens of Chula held their breaths.
There were two more long walls, fol-
lowed by two short ones, as the linn
ited's mogul swept down upon Chula's
only grade crossing, a cloud of blind
ing dust an answering foot" to the
tower man as he dropped the sema-
phore indicating a clear track and a
faint moan was borne upon a pass
ing breeze to Smith and 10 Chula's
nnnulatiOn &c thp mOPuI Whistlp6 for