davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-01-06

The fact that there are 2o,ooo more men
than women in Iowa should suggest to
the Legislature of that State the desira
bilty of establishing immediate recipro-
city with the New England schoolmarm
district.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-01-06

At Grace Street Presbyterian Church
the pastor, pr Witherspoon, will oc-
cupy the pulpit, and preach In the morn
ing. There will be no night service on
account fof the Joint communion service
of all the Presbyterian churches in the
city at the First Presbyterian Church.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-01-06

The presidents of the three big life
insurance companies who laughed the
first charges against them down the
wind as the spite talk of sorehead, have
all stepped down and out. Even in this
hour of financial stringency. Tom Law.
son must have his happy moments.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-01-06

Now, in the South coarse yarns are
spun for the most part."-Houston
Chronicle.
No, Julia. There is nothing that need
shock young girl here. The reference
is evidently to the cotton industry, not
the commerciaktourist.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-01-06

If Governor Odell really writes that
book "of exposure" he may succeed in
making Mr.. Lawson and Miss Ida Tar
bell look like very small pikers indeed.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-01-06

While 1t may be true that heaven helps
those who help themselves, it must be
understood that this does not apply to
those who help themselves to what doesn't
belong to them.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-01-06

Rev. W. A. Cooper will preach at both
services Sunday at st. James Methodist
Church. Twenty-ninth and Marshall
Streets. Morning subject, THE Quest OF
the Holy Graile.' Afterward tho sac
rament of the Lords Supper will be adj
ministered His evening subject will be-:
''rhe Destructive Practices OF Metho-
disn.''
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
A cheerfuL colored Rar.on.

The visitor in the south was of
fering his sympathies to the old col
ored parson.
ITS a shame, uncle" said the
visitor, chat the congregation
should drop buttons in the plate
when you were collecting your sal
ary."
"Dat doan mattah, sah," replied
the old man, with a luminous smile
"Ah kin use dem on dat old path OBJ
trousers de kernal glib me-"
"Well, they dropped nails in the
plate also"
Just what I need, sab. Yo' see,
Ah'm guine to build a cohn house,
en- Ah'n need de nails to drive in de
shingles"
eBut the lead nickels. What are
you going to do with them, throw
them away?"
"No, sab. Ah'm guine to make
sinkers fob nah fishin' lines. Glory
halleluyah p-Chie News
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
sauarIna the Circle.

One of the problems that are as
old as the science of mathematics
is that of squaring the circle. BY
squaring the circle is meant the
problem of finding the sides of a
square exactly equal in area to a
circle of given diameter. To do this
either by elementary geometry or by
expressing it automatically in COM
measurable numbers has been found
to be an impossibility. In other
words, the ratio between the diane
ter and the circumference of a cir
Gle cannot be exactly found even
though in the division the decimal
be carried out to $1,000 figures. The
above being the exact facts in the
case, we will say that the problem of
squaring the circle is one that has
long been given up by the mathema-
tcians as insoluble.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
Lovely Woman In = Bank.

1t was close to 8 p. M, closing
hour for business banks, when Q
smartly gowned young woman en-
tered a financial institution near
Union square the other day and
forthwith pleaded for and succeed
ed in getting a preferred position in
the long and eager line of men wait
ing their turn at the paying teller's
window. An usher politely inform
ed the charming one that the Ga
dies section is on the other SIDE"
She replied: 'Oh, thank you, sir,
but SO long as 1 am so near next now
L don't mind. Besides, there's q
crowd over there, too, 1 see."
When milady finally presented
herself before the busy paying teller
no check or other indication of ac-
count was forthcoming. Instead
the winsome creature fumbled in
her reticule while she asked, "Can /
get two cent stamp here, please ?"
New York Press.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
Where the Bird E.it saf..

A city gentleman was invited
down to the country for ga day with
the birds" Whatever his powers in
finance, his shooting was not re-
markable for its accuracy, to the
great disgust of the man in attend
anee, whose tip was generally regu-
lated by the size of the bag. Dear
me-" at last exclaimed the sports
man, ''but the birds seem exception
ally strong on the wing this yearl"
"Not all of 'em, sir" came the re-
mark. you've shot at the same
bird about dozen times. 'Es a-fol-
lerin' you about, sir"
Following me about? Nonsensel
Why should a bird do that?"
well, sir" came the reply, 81
dunno, Pm sure, unless 'e's 2angin'
round you for safety" London
Taller.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
A NATION OF sNoBs.
That Is What an English Writer Gala
His Country.

his COUNTY.
1t is difficult to talk much about
being ga gentleman" and behaving
like a gentleman, says an English
writer, without betraying an inward
and invisible want of breeding. The
grace" which is the true word for
what we mean by gentlemanly quail
tiles should never be dwelt upon, al
though its absence should be de-
nounced- That grace of soul, of
feeling, of habit, of manner and of
conduct which should attract no at
tention, no surprise, no eulogy, is
born in a person and can never be
acquired, although a stratum of
good manners, which is all that the
majority mean by ''gentlemanly," is
often the result of education. "You
have the grace of God" said
Launcelot Gobbo when he meant to
convey that Bassanio was a gentle
man, and 1 wish that more of US
were Gobbos in the art of express
sion.
This word gentleman" is very
English in its application. The
French have no equivalent, although
they are a nation of gallant men, a
(nation of cavaliers. The Spanish
have no equivalent, although they
are nation of grandees. A proud
er people does not exist, yet the dis
tinctions between class and class in
Spain are much less accentuated
than in England. Through Spain
we arrive at the paradox that the
most aristocratic country in Europe
is also the most democratic. One
cannot imagine a Spaniard asking
another 'Eto behave like a gentle
man." for there is only one stand
ard of behavior in Spain. The ON
nibus conductor, exchanging Gig
arettes with the grandee, will ex-
hibit as much mastery of the charm
ing courtesies of life as his "supe-
rior," as We should call the grandee
in England.
cannot regret the misuse of the
word gentleman, because its use
seems to me except on occasions of
ceremony utterly snobbish and
meaningless. What pity it is that
we have no word like "monsieurp
You can address any one by that til
tie in Paris, from a cocher to a
duke, and you are right The French
gentleman" stepping into facre,
will address the cocher as "mon-
sieur" as readily as the cocher will
so address him. In England we use
gentlemen" officially, without i'm
plying any foolish class distinction,
but we have no word for the inter
change of courtesy. Our "sir" i'm
plies superiority, the last thing
which monsieur" does. We are a
nation of snobs, and it is being
brought home to us by the word
gentleman" being arrogated by
precisely the class to which we
would deny it.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
A Silence Club.

Some time ago curious club was
formed in London. It was called
the-Silence club. Its membership
was limited to ten, all of whom were
season ticket holders on a London
suburban railway, and the subscrip-
ton was sixpence weekly. 1t was
established simply and solely to en-
able the members to read the paper
on the way to town, the only occa-
sion during the day on which the
club met. The revenue derived
from subscriptions was handed to
the guard every Saturday morning,
and in consideration of this he made
a point of reserying a carriage for
the members.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
Had a Close Gail

"a dangerous surgical operation,
involving the removal of a malip,
nsnt ulcer, as large as my land,
from my daughters hip, was pre-.
vented by the application of Buck
lens Arnica Salve." says A @
Stickel. of Miletus. W Va per.
sisteut use Of tie Saive completely
cured it" Cures Outs, Burns and
Injuries ESQ at all druggists
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
cIRDER IN THE EYE.
What You Must and Must Not De
When This Happens.

What You Must and Must Not Do
When This Happens.
By cinder We mean any minute
particle of whatever nature which
lodges in the eye, where it causes
much pain and distress.
In most cases when a foreign
body gets into the eye it creates a
little discomfort for a time, but is
soon washed away by the tears with
out doing any harm. Sometimes,
especially when the particle has
sharp corners to it, as Is often the
case with the fine cinders from a
locomotive which burns soft coal,
the cOnjunctiva is cut and the body
becomes firmly lodged in it, and all
natures simple efforts to remove it
are Intellectual. Man then tries to
come to natures assistance and
often makes bad very much worse.
The sufferer winks the eye, rubs
it with his finger, perhaps inserts
an eyestone and does whatever else
he can think of to drive the particle
deeper into the conjunctiva and ex-
cite Inflammation. This inlamma-
ton causes swelling of the conjunc-
tiva Immediately surrounding the
offending particle, with the result
that the foreign body becomes firm
ly imbedded and can be removed
only by the little needle or knife of
the oculist, or else it loosens itself
by exciting an liberation of the
.cornea, and this liberation, when
healed, leaves behind it a minute
white scar. Lucky is the man if
this scar is at one side and not di-
rectly In front of the pupil.
One who gets a cinder in the eye
must first of all exercise self con-
troll. He must not rub the eye. He
may take a glass of clean water,
throw in a pinch of salt, then put
the head down SO that the eye is in
the water and wink several times
rapidly If this does no good the
particle can sometimes be dislodged
iby taking hold of the lashes and
drawing the upper lid down over
the lower and letting it slide back
into place.
If the speck can be seen on look
ing into the mirror it may often be
removed by the tip of a cone made
lby folding the handkerchief several
times. Sometimes a friend can see
the speck by looking into the eye
with a magnifging glass and can re-
move it by gently touching it with
the handkerchief cone.
This is all any one should at
tempt, and if these gentle efforts
fail to dislodge the cinder no time
should be lost in seeking the help of
"a physician, who may take it away
before Inflammation or liberation
comes to complicate the accident
youths Companion.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

The heavy villain of the barn
storming aggregation stalked into
the workshop of the village editor
"What did you mean by referring
to me as Emisfit' in your write-up
of the performance last night?''
he roared.
81 mesnt," answered the local
molder of opinion, chat you were
entirely too great for the company
you are with"
And the heavy villain, being a
stranger to the ways of the village
editors, believed him. = Chicago
News.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

For years 1 starved, then
bought a so cent bottle of KodoI
Dyspepsia Cure. and what that
bottle benefited me all the gold in
Georgia could not buy 1 kept on
taking it and in two months L wen,
back to my work az macninist In
three months l was as we'll and
hearty as l ever was 1 still use 3
little occasionally as 1 find it fine
blood purifier and a good tonic
May you live long and prosper
O N Cornell, Roding. Ga, Aug q,
1907 KodoI is sold here by all
druggists
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
Apple Water.

Apple water is refreshing drink
for an invalid. 1t can be made with
either baked or raw apples, the for
mer to be preferred when time is
short, especially if the apples are
baked and in readiness. They should
be sour and when cold should be
immersed in boiling water to cover
them. Let them stand until cool,
then strain and sweeten to taste.
For the liquor made from raw ap-
pies three or four juicy sour apples
of fine flavor should be pared and
sliced. Pour over them two cupfuls
of boiling water and let them stand
three hours. Strain, sweeten and add
a small piece of ice. a pleasant
flavor is added if the rind of lem
on is mixed With the slices of apple.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
Her Great Need.

Little Alice is old for her years.
One evening after she had gone to
bed she heard mamma and papa
laughing in much enjoyment over
a game of finch. She longed to get
up and join them, but she knew
she must not. The next morning at
breakfast she was very quiet. Pres
emily She drew deep sigh:
81 feel the need of a husband,
mamma; l do feel itp-Lippin-
colts Magazine.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
whistler. coneeI..

WhistIers amusing personal conceit
was charmingIy displayed on one occa-
sion when A G. Plowden, a London
police magistrate. attended a private
view at the Grosvenor gallery. almost
the first friend 1 met" he said. was
Whistler. and he very good naturedly
took me up to a full length portrait
which he was exhibiting OF Lady Ar
chibald Campbell. After had done my
best to express my humble appreciation
Of a beautiful picture, asked him II
there were any other pictures which
he would advise me to look at Other
pictures,' said Whistler, in q tone of
horror. Other pictures! There are no
OthG QiSt1rosl Xou axe thEoaEhF"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
WEIRD GHOST STORIES.
a Persistent Dream That Brought
Murderer to Justice.

In a certain town in the province
of Minsk, west Russia, a peasant
suddenly disappeared. He was last
seen alive leaving the church and
going home to his sister, with whom
he lived.
One day in dream his sister saw
her brother. He looked pale, his
eyes were closed and his A;s were
broken lie told her that he had
been murdered by her husband and
his brothers. He mentioned the ex-
act date and place of the deed and
added that his body was put into a
sack and thrown into the river. He
wanted her to find his bodyzand to
have it buried in the family grave.
This dream was repeated several
times, and at last the sister sought
the advice of her aged father-in-
Law. He told her that it would be
difficult to find the body, and if the
eulprits were brought to justice her
children would be left orphans. So
after consideration the sister gave
the matter up.
But her brothers spirit would not
rest and appeared in a dream in the
above manner to a friend of his.
Soon the news spread to the local
authorities, who took the matter up.
The river was searched, and the
body was found in the exact spot in
dicated.
This discovery had such an eff
feet on the murderers that they at
once confessed. They gave all the
details of the crime-how after
service they took him to a mill
where they all dined, and on leav-
ing for home they attacked their
victim Finding that the sack was
too small, they cut off his legs, tied
q stone to his neck and threw him
in the river. The above is certified
to be perfectly accurate by the local
authorities.
A Russian paper relates the fol-
lowing as having occurred in an Off
GERS family at the time of the out
break of cholera The eldest son
was in an Office in a town nearly 200
miles frsm his home.
One morning the family was Wis
tied by an undertaken, who said he
had received orders from a person,
whom he described, to make coffin
for their eldest SON. The father re-
piled that the son was far away and
that all the family were alive and
well.
Directly afterward a message
came that the eldest son had died of
cholera at the same time that his
exact similitude had been seen by
the undertaken.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
Dairy and Food Commissions RepO1

Dairy and Food Commissions Report
The Minnesota Dairy and Food
Commissions analysis shows that
Kennedy's Laxative Honey and
Tar and Bees Laxative Honey and
Tar contained opiates and oroton
oil Opiates are poisons and croton
oil is violent poisonous purgative
Refuse to accept any but Foley's
Honey and Tar in a yellow pack
age FoleY's Honey and Tar con-
tains no opiates or dangerous drugs
and is the best cough and cold
cure Sold by all druggists
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
Fathers Grace.

Teacher-Now, boys, why do we
say grace before and after meals !?
No reply.
Teacher-Come, come; surely one
of you can answer me. Tell me
what grace is.
Still no answer.
Teacher-This is really terrible!
Now, Jenkins, tell me what your IA
Their does after meal.
Johnny-Please, miss, he rubs his
waistcoat.
Teacher = That d not what 1
meant. I want to know what he
says.
Johnny-Please, miss, he says:
tHa, hal Richard is hisself again"
London Standard.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

Give children remedy with q
oleasant taste DON'T force IN
Pleasant medicine down their
threats Kennedy's Laxative (oon
teining) Honey and Tar is mos,
pleasant to take Children like it,
and as relief for oolds. coughs
etc. there ia nothing better N,
rpiates Conforms to National
Pure Food aud Drug Law Sold
by all druggists
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

Here is our condensed opinion
of the Original Laxative Cough
Syrup: Nearly ali other cough
syrups are constip ting especially
those cont lining opiates Ken.
nedy's Laxative (c 1nteiuing)
Honey and Tsr moves the DO Eels
Contains no opiates Conforms 10
the National Pure Food and Drug
Law Sold by all druggists
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

Ascum-I hear your son is going
in for literary career.
Mrs. Dreamer-Yes. He started
this very morning.
Ascum-Indeedl What has he
done?
Mrs. Dreamer-He's sat for his
photograph in two poses-one where
he's reading a book and another
With his brow resting on his hand
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
Baltimore &Ohio R. R.
SCHEDULE IN EFFECT MARCH Is, 1905.
WHY IT SUCCEEDS.
Because it's for One Thing Only,
and P Int Pleasant is Learning
to Appreciate This.

to Appreciate This.
Nothing can be good for every.
thing
Doing one thing well brings suo-
,ess
Dosn's Kidney Pills do one thing
my
They cure sick kidneys
They cure bsckashe. every kid.
uey ill
Here is Point Pie SAINT evidence
20 prove it
Mrs w g Bird, living five miles
east of Point Pleasant, w Va, says:
My kidneys gave me great deal
of trouble l suffered with pains
.cross my back and also from a
from a very annoying weakness
Using patent medicines had been
failure with me go long 1 could
but have little faith in them, yet
Doan's Kidney Pills were 80 high
ly recommended by all who had
used them, that decided to give
them trial. My husband brought
home box from q w M Houff' g
drug store and l took them reeu
larry and the bsnefit which l de-
ived from their use was wonderful
and much appreciated AS a kid
ney remedy, Doan's Kidney Pills
cannot be surpassed"
Fer sale by all dealers Price so
cents Foster Milburn Co, Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the Un
tied States
Remember the n4me-Doau's-
and take no other. BIT
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
CHAs. HARRIs.

has bought an interest in the Buff
felo Mills, Buffalo, W. Va. and
wants your business. Deposit
wheat taken care of by insurance
Exchange wheat 40 lbs. -four per
bushel. Freight paid one way.
Deposit and exchange acheGt IN
cited. l will take care of you
CHAs HARRIS, Prop'r.
P. S.-Every body in Mason coun
ty knows me. Send wheat and
orders to me.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

The battleship Texas will be
retired and converted into a Z.
oeiving ship. The Olympia is also
slated for retirement.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

Don't think that piles can't be
Cured Thousands OF obstinate
cases have been CURED by Deans
Ointment 30 cents at any drug
store
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
PneumonIa FoiioWs 4 cold

but never follows the use of FoIey's
Honey and Tar It stops the cough,
heals aud strengthens the lungs
and prevents pneumonia Sid by
all druggists
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

If a girl has a good figure sb %
knows it just as we'll as you do,
but you won't hurt yourself with
her to tell her So.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

The lover of the bowl who tries
to "tsper f" is pretty sure to
"toper off
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

Need good osthartic? A pill
is best Say a pill like DeWitt's
Little Early Risers About the
most reliable on the market S Id
by all drnggiste.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

A woman odds her age by sub
traction.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

A Newark man died tuesday at
the age of log. His death was
eau .ed by kick from horse.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07

Drop in when In town and look over
our stock and sample our goods. Be
low we quote you prices in some of
our many brands.
One of our specialties Royal Rye
one case OF four quarts, price $500.
Other brands. prices as follows:
Log House. .................... / 90
Mount Vernon Rye GO yrs old), 90
Old Barbee, per qt.,...... 20
Gilded Age; per qt.,...-......... l 90
Cognac Brandy. Zine, per qt.,. so
Guckenheimer Pure Rye, per Of, IS
Jas Z. Pepper, Sour Mash, per OF 20
Continental ......... ........ rs
Aontereal Malt Rye, per qt.,. 20
Maj. Pau'e, per OF. 70
Strawberry Wine, Cine per OF rs
st. Julien, per qt., GO
Port Wine, (Best, } per qt.,. So
Port Wine. per OF. 20
Sherry Wine, per qt.,...... IS
Catawba Wine, per qt.,...... 20
Nuns Extra Dry Champagne 4 co
THr nnIuT nIrsetnT ttanan uaua1
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
And the Largest Dealer i'm Shin.
giles in the Ohio Valley.

sion shingles. fancy and plain in stock.
Plnstering Laih. Paints, Oils, Varnish and
General Hardware
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1906-11-07
You Can't Beat the man that
Makes the Goods for Low
Prices!
railroad, street Car Fare and
Ferriage,

Deliver all goods, drive over the ferry. pay
the fer riage, feed your horses and give din
ner in all calls for funeral go0ds-new, not
second hand.
have bought the finest Funeral Car ever
bought in Southern Ohio. Have some of the
finest rubber tire hacks and fine Coupe for
the minister. have q child's fine white
hearse. the only one in the county. 1 don't
haul children in a large hearse. have six
hearses and three delivery wagons.
have two licensed men in West Virginia
and two men IN Ohio with twenty years ex-
perienoe in the art of embalming and no
new beginners. Come to the factory where
there is no lost time, all are at work. You
don't have to pay for their cost CT time
watching the shop for some one to come in,
as they can earn nothing unless they sell.