davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
BEDROCK PRICE

The proprietor of Boston hotel SAYS
that a week or two ago a dusty, tired
looking person from Nashua, New
Hampshire. presented himself at the
desk of the hotel, stating that he desired
a room.
"I've ct my supper an shall be off be-
fore breakfast" said he. gravely, to the
clerk "now what would be your lowest
price for a room II, sleep in?"
zone dollar, if you leave at o'clock
tomorrow morning" was the reply.
"Well-er-woudn't half a dollar
make it jest about right?" demanded
the wayfarer, producing a battered
fifty-cent piece. You see, I'm all ex-
cited up, travellin an l don't expect
to sleep more'n half the time I'm in
there e"-Harpers Weekly.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
THE SONG OF THE SEARCH

With garments crumpled and torn,
With her heart in a desperate mood,
A woman fumed in unwomanly rage
Seeking a cooker of food.
Search search! search.
BY subway, by trolley, in church,
Wherever she went, in dolorous voice
She sang the song of her search.
Search, search, search,
While the cock is growing aloof.
And search. search search!
For she had no cook-forsooth
It's oh. for the days of slaves,
When your servants dare not shirk,
When ladies had never a dish to wash
And were waited on like a Turk
Search search, search,
Till your brain begins to swim.
Search search, search
Till you ache in every limb:
A cook who will wash, or who won't,
Or who condesCends only to cook
It's always the same old tiresome game
Whichever way YOU look!
With garments crumpled and torn,
With eyeids heavy and red,
She returns at night to comfoI ties:
home
And ttmbles, weary. to bed.
Search search, search,
Next day 1t begins again;
And we fear it will be till eternity
The burden of her refrain.
Puck
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
AUTOMOBILE SPEED

The regulation of the speed of auto
mobiles in the city, especially in the
downtown streets, is of great import
ance right now, and some way should
be found to bring it about. No one de-
sires this more than do the dealers in
the machines. They realize that every
bad accident or death caused by speed
madness endangers the trade; it fright
ems the timid and Injuries the repute of
the vehicle, and thus hurts sales.
The city law fixing the rate of speed
is invalid, as it conflicts with the state
law. The latter is of no practical use,
in that 1t merely fixes a reasonable
speed, leaving it to the courts to say,
in case ot an arrest, whether or not the
machine was exceeding a reasonable"
gait. This of course, will result in no
one ever being convicted, for what may
be unreasonable in one case or to one
judge may be slow and reasonable in
or to another.
1t seems that the city has not the
power under the state law to fix
definite rate rs reasonable; neither has
it the means to change that law.
Hence the city's hands are tied. But
a remedy against the speed mania may
be found in the hands of the judges
themselves, if they are willing to ap-
ply it.
Let these judges fix among them
selves rate of speed that they con-
slider reasonable-say eight miles an
hour downtown and fifteen miles in the
suburbs. Let them agree that culprits
who exceed this rate will he held for
unreasonable" speed. Let them advise
the city authorities that arrests of
those exceeding these rates will receive
prompt attention and proof of guilt will
result in penalty forthwith. Then let
the order go forth to arrest all who
speed faster than the agreed rate. And
see how soon the speed maniac will be
curbed.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
A Real Estate Deal

II tell ye the folks that come up here
from down below have got confidence
If they haven't got much sprawl, some
of 'em," said Mr.. jenkins in a dis
gusted tone, on his return from Bush
by's corner store. What you suppose
that Henderson feller wanted me to
make him an offer for today?"
I'm too busy to stop and spend my
time guessing" said Mrs. Jenkins. i'm
patiently. I'm getting supper, don't
you see?'
well, he wanted me to buy two rods
o. that sandy side-hill o. his Said he
judged twas an ideel spot for potatoes,
and would l set price on it?"
what did you say?" demanded Mrs
Jenkins, with satisfying Indignation.
"I told him." said her husband, with a
reminiscent chuckle, that, while L
wasn't prepared to set a valuation on
it. if he'd mind to deed it to me and
throw in $40 cash he might keep my
ladder week longer. youths Com
naniOn.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
THREE JACKS

John D.. Senior, read the names by
which his company was called.
stamped the floor, and would have torn
his tresses had he not been held
Summoned 10 him costly lawyers and
instructed them to toll
Night and day till they had proved the
rectitude of Standard Oil.
Johr n. Junior. heard and thought that
Garfield was a silly ass,
Thus to ma Ike il awkward for him now
to face his Sabbath class.
Pondered much and sadly saw that any
pupil now could spoil
All his little moral lessons by a fling at
Standard Oil.
Little John, the Sd one. heard, though
vaguely. all the heated talk
That was banded through the country
from Seattle to New York,
And he lay and watched his doctor set
his germ proof milk to boil.
And he bahbled: Careful doctor, Keep
it clean of Standard Oil"
Thus the John u. trio heard the news
of Jimmy G. report
Pretty peevish at the prospect of a lit
tie trip to court;
And quite anxious Ger the knowledge
that the public saw the soil
And the taintedness that clustered
round the name of Standard Oil
Richmond Times Dispatch.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
SCHOOL FUND DISTRIBUTION

The annual apportionment of state
school funds indicates the relative
standing of the several counties in
population. The apportionment is based
on the average daily attendance in the
grammar and primary schools. The
total appropriation of funds for the
current year is S1,99S,744 and as the
average school attendance in the state
is 217,S7S, the available sum is equal to
S6.42 for each pupil
In this statement the most interesting
feature, as viewed by dwellers in the
Southern metropolis, is the showing
that Los Angeles leads all the rest"
of California counties in its allotment
of state school funds Assuming that
the proportion of school children to
population is approximately the same
in all the counties it would appear that
Los Angeles county exceeds all others in
population, not excepting San Fran
cisco.
AS the apportionment for San Fran
cisco must have been based on data
obtained prior to the disaster however.
the comparison between that county
and Los Angeles county cannot be a
correct gauge of relative population in
the early part of this year. The money
allowances for the two counties would
more nearly fit If the present popula-
ton of San Francisco were considered,
which is known to be but little more
| than half the population before the
calamity. There is a very narrow mar
gin between the allotments, the one for
Los Angeles being $237, ,S22 and for San
! Francisco 1926 577. Crediting San Fran
cisco with its population early in the
year, therefore, it appears that the pro-
portion of children attending school in
that city was only about half the at-
tendance in Los Angeles schools at the
same period.
Following the lead of Los Angeles
county, with San Francisco second
come figures showing the sums allotted
to the other counties. For instance
Alameda county gets $125,671; Santa
Clara, $55,597; Sacramento, S37,544. Ir
Southern California San Bernardint
county gets $3269O; Orange $25, ,S5S
Riverside, $2O,S97; San Diego, $29, ,s91
Ventura, $685. Santa Barbara
$19,O41.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
SEEK HEIRS TO CLAIM
VALUABLE PROPERTY
POLICE ASKED TO LOCATE RELA-
TIVES OF MRS. B. WEBSTER
Woman Died in Manhattan, New, Re-
Gently, Leaving Large Estate.
Claimants Are Supposed to Reside
in or Near Los Angeles

When Mrs. Bertha Webster of Man.
haitian, New, died a few days ago she
left valuable property with Fred Ell
lott, who wrote a few days ago to the
Los Angeles police in attempt to locate
Mr.. and Mrs. Webster. who are said to
be the heirs to the property
In the letter he says the woman left
considerable money and deeds to lands
and instructed DR.. Leggett of Man
haitian to notify her relatives in Los
Angeles
1t is said Mrs. Webster had not
heard from her relatives for some time,
but the last letter she received from
them they were living in Los Angeles.
The relatives of the dead woman are
said to be very old. The police think
they have moved from here to some SUI
burban place.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
SPIRITUAL NEED

George O'Donnell. the actor tells the
following story of his 4-year-old niece,
whose mother is the wife of a clergy
man:
One night Edith wasn't feeling very
well and so was put to bed rather
early. AS her mother was about to
leave her she called her back.
Mamma, I want to see papa"
mo. dear" her mother replied, your
father is busy and must not be dis
turbed."
But. mamma" the child persisted,
II want to see him."
AS before. the mother replied: mo,
your father must not be disturbed
Mamma" declared her daughter,
solemnly, 81 am a sick woman and I
want to see my minister. .'-Harper's
Weekly.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
VAN

Man was created before woman, so
that she might always have the chance
to get ahead of him.
A mans brain grows weaker the
closer it grows to his mouth.
Mer love themselves first.
Money makes the man go-or come,
or stay, or anything.
What man has DONE man can undo.
Man wants but little here below, If
it is more than the other man has.
Trust no man, and no man will trust
you.
Dead men are not always as white as
they are painted.
Man must have some devil in him to
he worth saving.-The Bohemian.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
gALLApE OF THE SOCIAL pARIAH

The art of dining's on the wane,
And fearsome folk sit down with me ;
The boor who splits his partners train
And talks across incessantlY;
The tardN guest. who ought to be
on bread and water in a garret
But worst, as housew wives will agree
The diner-out who spills the claret
One may forgive the untutored swain
poor parvenu, sans family tree)
Who bites asparagus in twain
or helps himself to all the brie,
Forgive that source of idioCy
The silly story telling parrot,
But unfOrgiven on any plea
The diner-out who spills the claret.
What boots the salt? That blood red
stain,
His horrid deed he cannot fee.
1t marks him like the brand of Cain,
1t kills his clever repartee.
His is a darker ira agedy
Than any played by Booth or Barrett
The Furies scourge with hellish glee
The diner-out who spills the claret.
ENVOI.
Hostess our hearts are all with thee:
The dread rebuke is thine. yet spare
it
Be mercful, for-I am he,
The diner-out who spills the claret.
The Century Magazine.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
PIONEER LIES NEAR DEATH
Elijah H. Workman's Condition Re-
ported as Very loW-Grand-
dauuhter Arrives

Elijah H. Workman, aged 20 years,
brother of City Treasurer William H.
Workman, who has been dangerously
i'll at his home, 1915 East Second street,
was reported to be worse last night
than he has been for some time.
Physicians who are attending Mr..
Workman say that his case is appar
emily hopeless, but that he may live
for several weeks yet.
Mrs. Conrad Krebbs, a granddaugh
ter of Mr.. Workman, arrived in Los
Angeles yesterday from Salem, Ore. She
will remain at the Workman residence,
assisting in the care of the aged man.
Elijah Workman is a pioneer of Cali
fornia. With the exception of a few
months he has lived in Los Angeles
county. He has often held public posi-
tions and was one time engaged in the
harness business.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
HIS KNOWLEDGE OF WEEDS

AT suburban residence near Phila-
delnhia there recently appeared an un-
kempt looking individual VINO asked
for employment. 1t chanced that this
appliCation was made to the lady of
the house herself, who was superin-
tending the transplanting of plants in
the garden.
Are you a gardener" asked the
lady.
"'Ain't had much experience at gar
denim" was the reply.
Can YOU plant these bushes?"
"I.d hate to risk spoilin' 'em, num-"
"Then what can you do?"
"Weu num-" responded the un-
kempt looking individual, ''f you was
to hand me one of your husbands S
cigars | might sit in the greenhouse
an smoke out them insects that's eat
in the leaves of them rose bushes."- -
HarperS Weekly.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
HE Observation-Disclosures

HI, quit yer Iakin'!" says the Gentle
man-in the Muck.
Il never done it,
Teddy he began it
Why are you eXposin me-or durn the
luck!
With all me honest toilin-
l'ni merely Standard Oilin-
Why don't youse git after
Some other honest CRATER?
Their ought to be a law against this
scratchn' in the ruck
And strrin' up the microbes" says the
Gentleman-int the Muck.
Hi, quit yer rakn'!' says the Muc ker-
in-the- Muck.
Some O them disclosures
And magazine exposures
Is nothin' less than libelous-and I've
been stuck.
Base eXaggera tion
Please this here nation
Some ones always jabbin' us,
Nabbin' us and stabbin' US
1 can't get no rest no more-oh, hang
the luck,
Guess I'll shoot an editor" says the
Mucker- in the Muck
Wallace Irwin in the New York Globe.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

Instead of trying to run it's cars on
Seventh street, where it has no fran
chise, the Los Angeles Railway COM
pany should operate owl cars on its
lawful rails throughout the city. One
course can only result in defeat and
public disfavor; the other is necessary
and would popularize the entire sys-
tenn
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

The plea of poverty put up by the
corporations when it comes time to
assess their franchises makes one Won
der what they'd do if they received Of
fers for those franchises at the values
they put on them.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

Public school enrolment in Los An
geles shows 1894 boys and 1886 girls,
a difference Of only five in favor of the
boys. This is about as near an even
division as has occurred in any city of
the country.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

The Southern Pacific is cancelling all
its interstate passes. But the new rate
law, as the Republican machine we'll
knows, does not apply to passes in Cali
forria alone. Thus the Boss" Parker
grip remains as firm as ever.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
HYM EN-

Winds kiss and twine
Leaves of the vine:
Birds meet their mates in the blue,
Heart of the rose
Honey bee knows.
Heart of my heart knows you!
Rising tides reach
Arms to the beach:
Star mates with star in the blue.
Dawn weds the noon,
Sun weds the moon,
Love of my life weds youi
Marie Van Worst in Lippincotts
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

Rebate prosecutions in other parts
of the country make one wonder if a
little federal attorney activity here
wouldn't develop news of that sort
nearer home.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

If there are any politicians who
imagine that the Democrats of this
district will favor non-partisan move
ment on the congressional fight they
have another think coming" The Of
flee of congressman is political and
necessarily partisan in its character.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

1t is one of the many curious coinci-
dences of the case that today-the ma
tional holiday of France-witnesse the
official restoration of Capt. Alfred Drey-
fus to the army and the official efface-
nAnt of the stain m his good name
The whole remarkable story should
be lesson to impetuous and unthink-
ing France.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

The national bill posters refuse to
stick" anv more nictures of the acvi!
on the principle that they suggest
evil" If the bill posters would censor
some of the vile theatrical posters and
let the devil alone they would be act
ing much more to the purpose.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

Again today the Saturday half holi-
day at the beaches will be spoiled for
thousands because they will have to
hurry back for the last car" or walk
home. What a boon owl car service
would be to them.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

No sooner does Indiana expose gam
bling at it's swell watering place than
Missouri comes through with similar
action. 1t is now up to Saratoga,
V
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

The discharge of some of San Fran
cisco's police commissioners by tho
Schmitz-Ruef machine for alleged
grating is a comedy seldom equaled
on any stage.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

The Rev. j. c. w. Coke, who says
the Kinks are "pernicious brothers of
the dance hall' must have been trying
to learn the art of roller guiding and
failed.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

When Bryan ran for president and
was defeated, he had the support of
the yellow Hearst papers. That Hearst
says again that the same papers will
support Bryan is the one basis that
Republicans have for predicting a
Bryan defeat.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

Every day that the Thaw case sinks
in Importance as news item the decent
papers rejoice. And the Hearst yellows
exploit its filth the more.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

Toledo, where they put ice trusters in
Jail, boasts of being the Golden Rule
city. And in this action it sustains its
assertion.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

1t was generally supposed that the
railroads dictated the new rate law.
but il they are going to fight it public
respect for it will increase somewhat.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

Congress having adjourned. the rail-
roads will now proceed TO make the
rate law look like a peeka boo waist.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
Population of Los Angeles 23S,4l9

Those earthquakes in New Mexico
are positively shocking.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

AS between Doc Houghton
speeches and his poetry one naturally
prefers his cacti.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

The Holy Rollers" UP in Seattle
seem to be more high rollers than any
thing else.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

1t took twelve years for justice to
slip her bandage in the Dreyfus case,
but she finally did it.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

The Rev. Mr.. Coke thinks the skaters
in rinks are "unholy rollers"
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
The JOY of the Poor

The iceman's in the cooler
The railroads have been fined;
Rebaters all are out on bail,
Insurance men resigned.
The magnates go to Europe
T. escape the process man;
Beef trust is on the grill right now,
Just beat that if you can.
Steel trust is in bad odor,
John d. few can endure;
With all of this a-goin on,
I'm rather glad I'm poor,
w. H. c..
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

John Holiday of Illinois is the father
OF triplets. No more Holladays for
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
Dog Line,
GEORGE BAkEa

Carrye-Mr. Chumpleigh is a great bore.
but can't get rid OF him. He dogs my
footsteps day and night.
Tessie-Why don't you report him to the
dQgcatchers7
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
BY GEORGE O. BAKER.
In Search of n Mnte.

Clarice-Miss Wrinkles is going to
Europe this summer.
Virginia-Ah, she's tried every resort in
this country. suppose sine uvpes ~ o,...=
her trouble abroad.
Clarice-Her trouble? Why, what is ft7
Virginia-1 suppose you might call u
tnynlnntery siugularity,
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

AS muckraker, what a piker Ton
Lawson was!
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

What is the cradle of the deep?"
The little younEster said;
why that" his mother answered, "is
The oceans rocky bed!'
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

The place nearest off the map right
now is Washington, d. C.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

The Socialists of Georgia have nomi-
mated blind man for governor, and
fall to see any joke in it, either.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

The beef trust has no complaint to
make of the ice trust. Strange, isn't IL 4?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
Doesn't Like Lam

Lam Flannery, who has been on the
sick list we are glad to say, Is out
again-Olive Hill (Ky) Times.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
Rolls Busy Time

Rol Collver sustained racture of
the right arm between the wrist and
elbow while breaking horse as it rem
ders him unfit to work for some time
it is his most busy time of the year,
Yellowstone (Mont) Monitor.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

Michigan man left twenty-seven
wills, all different. His fortune goes to
the lawyers-as usual
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

Ihe wagon tongue was silent, though
the wheel spoke, but it was tired.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

The phrenologist has another guess
coming, these roller skating days.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

If you want to make a Pittsburger
fight ask him how's his chorus girl?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14
Pi-LimeS and Pick-UDS
Sure

cure
What is the cradle of the deep?"
The little youngster said;
why that" his mother answered, "is
The oceans rocky bed!"
The beef trust has no complaint to
make of the ice trust. Strange, isn't IL?
The place nearest off the map right
now is Washington, d. c.
As a muck-raker, what a piker Tom
Lawson was!
John Holiday of Illinois is the father
or triplets. No more Holladays for
him.
The Socialists of Georgia have nomi-
mated blind man for governor, and
1all TO see any joke in it, either.
Doesn't Like Lam
Lam Flannery, who has been on the
SICK list we are glad to say, Is out
again-Olive Hill (Ky) Times.
A Michigan man left twenty-seven
Wills all different. His fortune goes to
the laWyers-aS usual
The wagon tongue was silent. though
the wheel spoke, but it was tired.
Paln-Why does he chop off his words
so?
Pepper-Probably because he has a
hatchet face.
If a'%& photograph of Evelyn Nesbt
Ihaw has not been printed, we'd like
copy.
John D. is buying fossils for his uni
versity in Chicago. Why doesn't he
give himself?
a New York dog that swallowed a
wasp was thought to be mad. Probably
he was. Also sorry
Rolls Busy Time
! Rol Collver sustained a fracture of
the right arm between the wrist and
elbow while breaking a horse as it rem
| ders him unfit to work for some time
| it is his most busy time of the year,
Yellowstone (MontO Monitor.
If you want to make Pittsburger
fight ask him hows his chorus girl?
j. Ogden Armour says the American
people are so hysterical." Who helped
make 'em so?
The phrenologist has another guess
coming, these roller skating days.
The hugless waltz will be Just as
| popular with women as the jagless
booze is with men.
Dowies personal expenses were
$4,000 a year. He must have figured
that there were two born every minute.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

j. Ogden Armour says the American
people are so hysterical." Who helped
make 'em so?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

The hugless waltz will be just as
popular with women as the jagless
booze is with men.
Dowles personal expenses were
S57 900 a year He must have figured
that there were two born every minute.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-14

Palm-Why does he chop off his words
so?
Pepper-Probably because he has
hatchet face
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-03-12
(snecial to The HeraId.)

Park City, March 11.-While coming
off shift this afternoon at the DAILY
West mine Alexander Walkingshaw
and John Eddy were both caught in a
blast and as result of the accident
WaIkingshaw will die. Lou Smith, a
miner was working in a new drift
that was being run on the 900-fOot level
from the main drift. Walkingshaw and
Eddy were at work in a stope near by.
Smith had been told to warn the men
when he was ready to blast and to
give them ample time to pass by, as
this was the shortest way and most
convenient way out to the shaft. This
order was not obeyed by Smith and
the two unfortunate men walked into
the blast unwarned. Both men were
taken to the miners hospital and their
wounds dressed.
Walkingshaw face is badly cut and
one rib is broken. A piece of rock was
driven through his right side into the
lung Both legs are terribly cut and
bruised. The attending physician
holds out but little hope for the re-
covery of the man.
Eddy is cut badly about the face and
his right eye is also injured. His con-
hilton is not precarious.
WaIkingshaw is an old-timer at
Park City. He has a wife and four
children living in Salt Lake. His fam
ilv was notified soon after the acct
dena and it is thought some OF the