The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-18
A NJ AN AND
A HOG

| \
1t was generally believed in the
village Of Grafton that Deacon Still
, well and the widow Carter would
make match Of 1t after the deacon.
fear of mourning was up.
| One year and two weeks and sever
| hours after his wife's death the deacon
| sauntered around to the widows gate
| or a Sunday evening. He was in his
| best clothes, and he had made up his
mind to pop the question and have the
day set. The widow sat on the We
randa whacking at the bugs and flies
and he took seat beside her
AS prelude he began to tell hel
about the drought in Texas, and he haC
| got along as far us to state that every
COW wanting drink had to walk 1O(
miles for it when the widow rose W
with cry. She had espied a hog in
her back garden. 1t was a spotted
hog. and his snOut was playing hOl
among her Early Rose potatoes. He
had burst his way in from the alley
without reference to its being the Sab
bath day and had already rooted up q
dozen hills.
Its a hog in the garden"' she ex
planned as she turned to the deacon.
"Yes. l see. and I'll soon have him
| out of that
1t is said that every person born has
| an antipathy The deacon had one
and it was hogs. He always had two
or three in the pen. and he never
missed giving them sly whacks when
occasion offered. To be interrupted as
he was by hog. and that on Sun
day to boot. made his blood boil He
might have to race that porker around
for fifteen minutes before finding out
whether the widow would say yes or
no when the real pinch came.
81 think it's one of Perkins hogs,
said the widow as the deacon slid of
the veranda and looked around for q
club.
ut doesn't make any difference who
owns him. he's in your garden"
"You don't mean you'll kill him?"
"I'll break every bone in his body!
L Il
deacon that the widow had never seen
before, but before she could say any
thing further he set off with club In
his hand. The hog had his head turned
the other way and was very busy, and
the first thing he knew he received
such a thump across the back that he
supposed an apple tree had fallen on
him. He took a skate for few rods
! and then turned about and saw the
man and his club.
Anybody who thinks a hog has nc
feelings will get left. He knows the
difference between square deal and
a sneak. and when he is Inundated he
feels revengeful. 1t didn't take this
particular hog over ten seconds to real
| lie that he had been played low down
| and to decide on a course Of action
He was near the hole he came in at
but he started on a run for the house
Moreover, he squealed as he ran.
The squealing of a hog on quiet
! Sunday evening in any community will
bring out anxious inquirers. The dea
con knew it, but he went racing after
| his victim. He lodged around the
| fruit trees in his race and finally got
near enough to deliver blow. 1t was
blow meant to kill the pOrker sc
stone dead that not single bristle
would stir after the club came down.
! but it missed the hogs nose by an inch
| and hit a tree.
"Have you killed yourself?' demand
| ed the widow from the end of the
veranda as the deacon danced around
| and flirted his smarting fingers in the
! air
BLAST the blamed hogw was shouted
In reply.
"Why, Deacon Stillwellv'
81 say blast him. and I'll break his
blamed back before l get through with
! him.
There was another chase after the
hog. The porker took a turn around
the front yard. doing all the damage
| he could to the flower beds, and as the
deacon pursued him half dozen peo-
| pie were looking on and commenting
| He knew it. but he continued the race.
| What will not a man do to get even
with a hog? When both had reached
! the potato vines again there was q
! tremendous effort on the deacon's part
| to finish the tragedy out Of hand. He
set his jaw, drew long breath and
struck with all his might. The hog
wasn't there, and the deacon fell among
the vines and rolled over. Confused
! as he was he heard the widow chuckle,
| and then and there he vowed that she
| should never be his wife. When he
| rose up he felt the strength Of giant
and the fleetness of a race horse. He
! took the trail of the hog and ran 1t SO
close that the porker had to make
rush up the steps Of the veranda to
save his bacon.
| II the widow had stood still he would
have passed her. but, Of course. she
Jumped around and got in his way, and
! he made a dive at her feet and brought
her down. While she lay screaming
the deacon was coming to the rescue.
he leaped up on the veranda just as
the hog had decided to take the back
track. and there was another collision
and another human being thrown
| down. Six neighbors were on hand