Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-03-10

plosive response Of Pa. II will show
you stunt worth two Of that! 1 will
show you how easy it is for a Jones to
turn sobful tears into laughing joy! l
will make sled seat myself 1 Will
-"
"Of course you will, Henry dear!" re-
piled Ma, in q sarcastic tone. "You
will perform marvel! You will make
d zap Of yourself again! 1 think can
see the sled seat that you will make
/"
"You hear what said, Mrs. Jones:
You heard what said!' returned Pa.
Selling his coat and hat You heard
me MARBLE, didn't you? Just wait until
| go to the lumber yard and get some
boards Just wait until l go to the
hardware store and get some nails,
bolts and compass saw! Just wait
until 1 get some paint! You don't
think that I can do anything! You
don't think that l can make q sled
seat! But 1 want to tell you right
here that I will soon do q turn that
you won't find in any Smith roper
toirev
With this the sanguine Pa Jones has
tened away, and when he returned an
hour or so later he was loaded down
with enough lumber, nails and tools to
destroy the sleepful peace Of the neigh
borhood for q mile around.
"You smile, Mrs. Jones You smile :"
remarked Pa, as he deposited his cargo
on the floor. "You twist up your pref
ty face like pretzel! You think that
1 have tackled job too big for nv me-
chanical education! But just you hold
your breath and wait Get that infer
nal dog out of the way! Take your
dear mother and lead her to bed! Sneak
yourself! l want to be alone so that
l can give my work the proper atten-
ton and thought"
Ma meekly obeyed, and from then on
sundry sounds Of violent nature came
from the kitchen.
First a saw would spasmodically rim
through board. Next nails would he
driven with all the strength Of PAS
mighty right arm, and then expIetive
eloquence in large chunks would dash
up to the ceiling and splash back to the
floor.
It was nearly midnight before Ma
ventured to take look at the master
mechanic, and even at that late hour
the neighbors on both sides were
pounding on pianos beating drums. and
footing comets In a vain endeavor to
compete with the awful noise.
What In the world do you call that
thing, Henry?" she asked, In her sweet
wifely way. 1T looks like a warped
soap box 1t looks as If it had been
bumped by an automobile and hooked
in the ribs by locomotive Besides,
It is"
go away from here, woman! Go
away from here!" exclaimed the angry
Pa, as he YEARLY surveyed his crude
work. "You make me mad You make
me peevish! Why don't you attend to
your own business? That sled seat
would be all right if q Smith had made
it! 1t would be just too lovely for
anything if"
But Henry" interposed the taunt-
ing Ma, why didn't you measure the
sled before you started to make the
seat? That thing is big enough for a
dray! 1t is too big for a trolley car
And to think Of all the good money
you have wasted In tools, nails and
paint when l could have bought one at
the department store for a few cents
Now don't get cross, Pretty! Don't
rear up and make a monkey Of your
self! I told you that you didn't know
how to do itr'
Alas, it was too true. Pa Jones had
failed to make the necessary measure
ments and the seat was found to fit the
sled like q seventeen-inch collar fits
twelve-inch neck.
The hour that followed was an un-