The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-30
MAGAZINE SECTION.
Copyright, 1869

Copyright, 1869
Are you wise to the story of Miles,
The former town marshal of Plymouth;
The one who was husky and big
And used to play tag with the savage?
Have you read in this broken-backed vers
OF which the enclosed IS a sample;
Which is easy to read and a cinch
For the author who is not poet
How Standish. the sturdy old vet,
Being stuck on a girl named Priscilla,
Persuaded John Alden, his pal,
To be his press agent and booster?
1t seems that Miles Standish had served
With the regular army in Flanders;
He carried the medals to prove
That he was hot proposition:
And like every soldier who wears
A costume that makes him look chesty,
He thought he was there with the shape
And a terrible hit with the ladies.
But Standish, it seems, was mutt
When he had to make good in parlor:
He was great when it came to a scrap.
But shy on polite conversation;
And so. as foxy device.
He thought 1T would be lovely billiards
If he could cut out all the gush
And manage his cOurtship by proxy
He bunked with John Alden, and knew
That the latter was strong as a chinner-
A drawing room pet, with a flow
OF CAB of the Warmest description:
And that's why he framed up the scheme
To have Alden talk to the maiden,
And put the whole gag up to her.
And fix on date for the jump-off.
John wore his most smiling Cravat
That day when he called on Priscilla:
He tore off a grand line of talk
And soon had her dizzy and going;
SO much so that when it came time
To hand her the message from Standish
She couldn't see Miles with pair
OF German binocuIar glasses.
This John must have been wise fish,
For he knew that the way to get solid
Was not to play ball for himself.
But plug for his elderly roommate:
For when you go rapping friend
To girl who is much more than seven,
She sizes you up on the spot
AS jealous old thing and swozzie
But if you take hold of her hand
And tell her your friend is a corker
And always was good to his folks,
And turns in each night at ten-thirty.
And saves all the money he makes
And never unbelts for a nickel
You can crab him and put him to sleep
While you seem to be singing his praises.
No girl who is on to her job
And built in the orthodox fashion
VIII ever get badly worked up
Over some one who never comes near her:
For If man likes her for keeps
She wants him to show up in person
And breathe it right into her ear
And do all the Faversham business.
SO Captain Miles Standish lost out
Before he moved up to the barrier;
For John. who was right on the spot,
Looked aces and Fights to Priscilla.
And when he had worn out his voice
In saying nice things about Standish.
And begged her to take a long chance
And send out the cards for the wedding
She turned to the handsome young dog,
Who looked like picture by Gibson,
And said: "Cut it out. If he's game
Let him put his proposal in writing
know he's all right in his way.
But hear that the pay of a soldier
Is forty-two dollars per month
And he dies just before he's promoted.
Now, why should you work overtime
In trying 10 hand me a dead one.
When you could cut in for yourself
And win without turning a feather?
For you are the plot of the piece.
The blue-eyed pa-pah for my money,
The only good bet of the day
The kid that walks off with the candy"
John Alden went up in the air.
She certainly started him winging
He tried to come back, but got balIed;
He fell on the ropes and was groggy
Il gave him a jump of great joy
To know that Priscilla was for him,
Because in the form sheet it looked
As though he was out of the betting.
Yet what could he say in reply?
he surely was well up against it
he came there to fix it for Miles;
He wanted to be on the level
No wonder he chOked and backed I'D,
Felt round for his lid and was dippy,
Then tore for the fresh open air
And made snort cut through an alley.
I've certainly queered the whole deal"
lie said, as he made for the seashore,
I've put my old friend on the blink
And how in the world can l square it?
It's me for a long ocean trip;
II exit with speed in the morning,
20 on the Mayfower and sail
Sack to the shores of Old England"
ate in the evening he sneaked
nto the village of Plymouth.
When he arrived at the fiat
,aptain Miles Standish was waiting
Waiting TO grab the glad news