Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1906-1908, 1906-09-07
How To Grow Old.

After having trained his factulti es
to the last and been able to drink and
smoke in moderation to the day of his
death, one Mr.. Peristine of New York
has within the past few days been
gathered to his fathers, at the ripe
age of 112 years. In the locality
where he lived Mr.. Peristine was not
ed for his great age and for one other
thing only, namely, the fact that, like
the father in the song, he never work
ed. An enormous array of descen
dants, against whose industry nothing
appears to be advanced, attended his
funeral. The New York papers,
doubtless with view Of emphasizing
the fact that here and there citizen
does escape the trolley and other in
cidents of life on the hottest spot on
the western continent, made great
ado over Mr.. Peristine
Mr.. Peristine's recipe for growing
old-never to do any work-has not
been adopted by his descendants,
however, for if it had they mihgt not
have been able to contribute to their
now famous but deceased ancestors
prolonged sustenance, so there is no
telling just what their chances of
becoming centenarians may be.
In time, however, when they shall
all be dead, it will be possible to de-
duce a positive rule as to the advisa-
bility of wholly abstainlng from labor.
Meanwhile, the world plugs merrily
along, and most other candidates for
longevity honors are forced to be con-
tent with AN occasional holiday, for
they can not all rely, with steady
confidence, upon the industry of an
affectionate and self-sacrlficing pos
terity.
About this time there comes word
form Kentucky of a wood chopper
names Gill, who kept on choppiing
wood until he was ITO years old, and
then, right in the middle of job,
stopped chopping forever. In fact,
Mr.. Gill was just about drink to
some coffee from his lunch can when
the grim reaper took him forever
from his labors. Just how long Mr..
Gill might have lived if he had not
worked at all is an open question, and
under the circumstances of the case,
must remain open. However, if a
man can chop wood for century, he
may be said to have chopped his
share.
In still another direction, namely,
way down east an estimable and
mighty respected citizen, aged 81, has
suddenly discovered that tobacco
chewing is injurious and accordingly
given it up. According to his own
account, he had been chewing tobacco
for eighty years before he found out
that it was detrimental to his health.
Just year ago he gave up smoking,
and, if he continues to give up one
bad habit year, by the time he
grows to the age of liz, or, SO to
speak, to years of discretion, he'll
be real good. Unluckily, the good
die young, and this venerable party,
whose name, unfortunately, is not at
hand, wants to watch himself.
Russell Sage didn't take vacation
for forty years and lived to be 80,
despite the fact that he was once
blown up with dynamite. Sam,
| Sloan another Venerable financier is
still clipper and good for business
at SO, but he does take vacations, and
thinks everybody ought to do likewise.
Most of them WOULD if they could
but circumstances are prone TO inter-
fere with human plans, SO they take
them when they can-leaving the
prospects of living century to. take
care of themselves.