New-York tribune., 1906-06-26

They take their sports seriously and sadly in
some parts of the country. Thus THE Moberly
Cio.p Democrat: That pie-faced. pin-headed
prune-eater who does the baseball stunts for The
Chillcothe Tribune is the limit In his rawlings
over the defeat of the Yelpers last Sunday. he
even goes so far as TO accuse Robertson, the Yep-
ers' own pitcher. OF throwing them down."
THE SONG OF THE SEARCH.
With garments crumpled and torn.
With her heart in a desperate mood.
A fumed in unwonanly rage
Seeking a cooker of food.
BY subway, by trolley in church.
Wherever she went. in dolorous voice
She sang the song OF her search!
Searchl search! search!
And search! search! search
For she has cook. forsooth!
It's oh! for the days OF slaves,
When ladies had never a dish to Wash
And were waited on like a Turk!
Search! search! searchi
Till your brain begins to swim
Searchl search! searchi
Till you ache in every limb:
cook who will wash or who won't.
Or who condescAnds only to cook.
It's always the same old tresome game
Whichever way you look!
With garments crumpled and torn
She returns at night to comfortless home
And tumbles. weary. TO bed
Search! searcht search
Next day it begins again.
And we fear it will be till eternity
The burden OF her refrain! Puck.
An old Kansas citizen. who had been henpecked
ell his life, about TO die. His wife felt IT her
duty 10 offer him such consolation she might
and said John. you are about to 60 but l will
follow you" II suppose so, Manda" said the old
man weakly. but fur as 1 am concerned you
don't need 10 be in any blamed hurry about IT.
Harkins-why doesn't Walker stop to speak? I
thought he knew you.
E bs ma7r dsed Nbsr Of fPe n 70 the
nowI-Tit- Bits
An anecdote is told of Richard Seddon. the late
Premier OF New Zealand. He was very active in
sending troops the assistance Of Great Britain in
the South African war. On one occasion he was
taunted by an Opposition member with his readi-
ness 10 sacrifice the lives of the colony's manhood
You ready enough TO send our sons and broth
ers TO be shot at but the opening of a
taunt by his opponent. when the Premier broke in
'Sir. this morning 1 signed a commission for my
own son He will be shot at, too. and have dared
him to come back without wound
The Case with Him-AIrs Henpeck-ThAv cars+
punish bigany too severely. No one should have
any sympathy for the man who takes one wife TOO
Mr.; FLenpeck-The@ I'D idea; Maria Do YOU think I
Euphagists are dietetic sect who refuse 10 take
eating seriously. They purpose 10 eat. drink and
be ner1y-especialy be merry. 1t is the royal road
to health and long life. The London News sug-
gests that If careless attendant spills hot soup
down the back OF his neck. the euphagtst tempo
rarily Stops euphaSing. thAt Is ALL
How Tt Started.-"Talk about human beings hav-
ing descended from such as you!" exclaimed Poll
They're much more likely to have evolved from
birds You can't speak their language; and can"
Il don't deny" responded Jocko. that they got
their long tongues from your family"
II then that the two had their celebrated
monkey and parrot time.-ChicagO Tribune.
When you TO New Zealand. I wish you would
inquire after my great-grandfather. Jeremiah
Thompson" Certainly" said the traveller. and
wherever he went he asked for news of the an
cestoi without avail, according 10 The Dundee
Advertiser" One day he introduced to a fine
old Maori of advanced age. Did YOU ever meet
with an Englishman named Jeremiah Thompson
he asked A smile passed over the Maori's face
Meet him. he repeated. Why, / ate htmV'
He Relied on the Doctor.-Whne I was a SUDDEN,
in medical college l had a patient an irish
man, with a broken leg When the plaster bandara
was removed and a lighter put on in its place
| noticed that of the pins went In with ereat
difficulty could not understand IT, A week
afterwal;d what was my astonshment to find thaf
the pin had been through the skin twice in
stead of through the cloth.
Why, Pat said l." didn't YOU know the pin was
sticking in you?''
TO ba sure did" replied Pat. But 1 thought
you knew your business. so l hnt me tongue
Boston A.rald-