davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01
PoTNTEp PARAGRAPHa.

From the chicago HeFS-i
Loan sharks infest the sea Of finance
True love doesn't thrive well IN pub
Nearly all husbands, and wives are n
the martyr class
Uncle Sans largest burying ground is
the dead-letter office.
There IS often a black eye IN a ranle-
il it Is applied to q pretty girl.
out of sight isn't necessarily out CT
mind when applied to a pretty girl
What he calls his diplomacy IS always
a cause Of pride to the trickster-
One burlesQue show viii keep the aver
age man awake longer than dozen ser
mons.
Occasionally we hear OF a man who
manages 10 make good by following his
wife's advice
All the worlds . stage-but. the major
ity of us sit in She gallery and throw
things at the performers.
man begins to acquire wisdom when
he discovers that he is capable OF making
Just as many mistakes as his neighbor.
Figures may not lie. but they are not
always what they appear to be--thanks to
the cunning of taiiors and dressmakers-
Policemen are kept so busy listening TO
the trouble Of other people that they has7
but little time TO think OF their oWn-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01
rale Of Three Adimrals.

Here is one of the tales told by Of
fcers of Dewey's feet at Manila, of the
late Admiral Chichester. who was
Admiral Diedrichs. the German. sent
then a captain; One one occasion
out the Irene on an unreyealed er-
rand, and without the customary
notification to the commander of the
blockading feet. Admiral Dewey had
suffered, he thought, sufficiently from
that sort of thing, and so he sent a
vessel across the 1rene's bows ana
notified her captain that she would
not be permitted to depart without
statement as to her destination II
was not Admiral Diedrichs' mission 70
quarrel with both the American and
English fleets. so he sought to find out
Capt Chichester's purpose in case OF
a collision. Going on board Chfches-
ter's ship, he angrily exclaimed; 'Dld
you see what Dewey did to my ship
Yes" replied Chichester.
what weuld You have done II It
had been an English ship?
''WeH,' said Chichester, eonVe-
niently assuming that the 1rene's
captain had sailed without orders
from Diedrichs. I'D have put my
captain in arrest, and then I'd have
gone on board the Olympia and apol-
orized to Admiral Dewey for having
such a fool in command of one OF my
ships Harper Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01
KANSAS c0MMENT



SOME ATCHISONs ARGUMENT.
Before denouncing AtchisOn or Leeay-
enWorth for not enforcing the pronlpl-
tory law Il is we'll to ask yourself VINO
build the railroads in order that the
great state OF Kansas might nave an
outlet for its products in the carry
ddys2 What towns bonded themselves
might be spanned and the railroads
bu1lt? Were they towns in the inter
Tor OF the stateg Not on your Ire.
The interest on these bonds must ne
year-neally all that can be leN1eQ'
for the law fixes q limit. Without sa-
loon revenue our fire department, street
lights, stt Get cleaning force, etc, WouAo
have to be dispensed with Would you
do without these when nothing IS 10 bs
gained? Cities bordering on missouri
are rot in the same position as those II
the interior of the state. They should,
therefore, not be. judged by the same
standard. The liquor traffic might De
driven across the river from Atchison,
but the interstate commerce protects
the delivery in Kansas, from Missouri
OF cases and kegs, and telephones are
cheap as dirt. We learned, too when
the saloons of Atchison were closed,
that it IS better to allow people to have
liquor in homeopathic rather than allo-
pathic doses. Atchison might throw
away the saloon license, but 1t cOuldn
lose its lights, fire protection and street
cleaning force, but nothing could be
accomplished in the way of reform. The
liquor business lis in. better control
here, with a few we'll regulated sa-
looms, than it would be il kegs and
cases We're being delivered across the
bridge from Missouri. Under the cir
cunstances, can any just and reason
able person blame Atchison for max
ing the best of the situation? There
isn't a community in Kansas that
wouldn't do just as ,Atchison is doing
If similarly situated. Dozens of them
countenance the sale of liquor without
any excuse whatever. It is universally
conceded that AtchisOn handles the IL
quor traffic better than any town in
the state. Yet a Missouri paper has
criticised Governor Hoch. for what?
For not driving the liquor business to
Missouri, and allowing the state to Sc
cure the revenue on the stuff consum-
ed in Kansas. That's what it amounts
to.-AtchisOn Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01
Astrononln,a IntricacIes.

Miss Dorothea Klumpke. the famous
astronomer, was talking about the diff
ncuities and intricacies that astronomy
presents to the lay mind
For instance, she said. smiling. tneT 2
Is the well known case OF the meteorite
that fell on a Vermont farm IN 1885 It
was a valuable msteorite and the
landlord at once stepped up and
claimed it, All minerals and metals on
the land belong to me. he said. That 5
In the lease
But the tenant demurred- This me
teorIte. he said, wasn't on the FARM
you must remember, when the lease was
drawn uD.
.FThe landlord perceived the Justice of
that claim He thought a moment Then
he said. decisively: claim her as sy-
ing game
She's got neither wings nor feathers
he said Therefore. as ground game,
she's mine.
isTney continued their argument. ana
in the heat OF il s revenue officer ar
riTIng with truck. proceeded to put tbs
meteorits aboard. I claim her for the
government ha said, as an article IN
troducsd into the country without pay
meut Of duty
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

Just think OF it. st. Abe" she was
saving. i've had my FIRST proposal to-
night. and i've beside. It's owing to
you, you beauty
And this is the. seventh, observed.
taking the white arms. and putting my
own neck where St A1be's had been
's.If you accepted any OF the six, YOU
may as well tell him you have changed
your mind. for 7 viii have you. VIII.
Elsie belovedi'
why. Dennis. Of course you WIZ
she answered, putting up her red bps
to be kissed.-CopyriEht 1905 ~ NC
CIure Newspaper Syndicate
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

There has been a good deal Of specu-
lation among those who are most inter-
ested as to whether the vote this fall
in this county would be large or small
on ali sides that there IS some reason
for thinking that many viii not vote
at all. Every man should vote; When
every man goes and casts a pallot Lhat
Tenresents his best idea Of citizenship.
every good citizen must abide by the
results But where the ballot is not
free from any cause, or when men ran
to exercise that right freely, it Is not
in the true sense a government oy d
any EFFORT to dfsfranchise you, but you
through negligence often disfranehise
Yourself. You are entitled to voice
in government. Don't fail to go vote
Colby Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

cier. This is one OF the great financial
journals Of the country, but in addition
to its regular issue it this week pub
fishes a supplement of go pages, hand
somely illustrated, devoted to the pro-
ceedings Of the American Bankers as
eocIatian and kindrad subiacts
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01
REFLECTIONS or a BACHELOR
Ton the NeW York 81

girl thinks her photograph Is a sue
cess when she shows II to you and you
guess It IS some famous actress.
There are a good many people IN this
world who think they are philosophical
not to Kill a man after they have robbed
him.
Maybe Il woman couldn't squeeze
through a ferry entrance she would con-
cede she was q little further along than
plump.
A churcheoinE woman can make big
profits by getting q dollar from her hus-
band for She collection plate and then
putting is only q quarter
A woman has an idea the reason there
isn't more sympathy between her and her
husband s. because he understands how
to balanes hle bank account
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01
CHARIFY BARNES.

Emporia people who have lived in
town a dozen years will remember
Charley Barnes. the hustling reporter
on the Republican, and later on the
Gazette. Every one in town liked him.
every one in town knew that ne was
honest. and his work proved that he
was industrious. Well. Charley Barnes
has come up in the world; his hard
work and his honesty have pushed plm
along. and now he is on the Republ1-
can state ticket as a candidate for in
surance commissiorer-one Of the really
important Offices in the state. The peo-
ME Of this town who knew him in the
days of his beginning. will vote for him
to a man; and those who have come
later should remember that a hand
some vote for Charley Barnes will be
a creditable thing. for Emporia, because
it will show that we remember our
friends. He is not only running on the
right ticket: he is the right kind OF
man, and Emporia VIII be doing the
proper thing TO give him a GOOD vote
It Will be bread cast upon the waters
FnpOria Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

expense Of hunting down the grafters
and boodlers in that city. This ex-
pense ought to be borne by the public,
but some times the public funds can
not be used in a way that will reach
the evil. San Francisco is to be con-
graduated that it has a citizen who will
come to the front with his wealth for
such a purpose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

The Standard Oil company might
have been nned six million dollars un-
der those Ohio convictions. Inasmuch
as it was fined only $1,000. the result
is apt to make the average citizen just
a frife fired
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

IL IS asserted that although the
Duke ana Duchess of Marlborough
she who was Vanderbilt, as Saman-
tha allen would say-have parted, but
are still good friends. In other words,
nay are anenlies.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

A lot Of Republicans are wavering
this week concerning how they VIII
vote on railroad commissioners. A
good many are now inclined to scratch
all tho Republican nominees. just TO
register their protest against the way
Things are run. inasmuch as they find
ii impossible to vote for the three can
didates OF their choice.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

William r. Hearst offers $4,000 In
rewards for evidence of election frauds
In the coming New York election. Let s
see. Did not Candidate Hearst offer
similar rewards in the mayoralty con-
test a year ago-rewards that nobody
ever claimed, Notwithstanding Mr..
IIearsTs allegation that he was counted
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

The Republican orators are appeal
Ing to the people to elect Republicans
I'm order that they may stand by the
president. This is worthy object to
Keep fin view, but the county is not
nearly as much afraid that the Demo-
Gratis won't stand by the president as
they are that the Aldrich crowd Of Re
oubficans won't.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

In Louisiana it is held to be libel
for a newspaper to say nice things
about a doctor. And a doctor secured
the decision from the court, too If this
decision had been about the lawyers 1t
would not have created so much sur
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

There is also rebellion against party
nominees in Nebraska. No less a Re
publican exponent than the Omaha
ace IS urging Republicans whose pat
riotisrn impels them to put the public
welfare above the party LABEL to
scratch a Republican nominee for rail
road commissioner and votesfor his op-
Donent. This sort Of thing. seems to
81 catching.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

'Our president says Secretary
F,onaparte. wants and has always
wanted a square deal for every one,
whether pig, Ion or man" The secre-
tarv should also have included the ele-
nhant and the donkey in his list.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

we trust we viii be pardoned for OBJ
serving that Messrs- Langdon and
I4ewey, OF San Francisco. appear to be
sitting on the Reuf instead Of on the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

This campaign viii be memorable
for one reason If for no other. It will
go down in history as the campaign in
which the bean vote was invented to
take the place OF the old-time straw
vote. Straw is entirely too common
10 use in such an important matter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

Texas was once q jungle, according
10 dispatches telling Of prehistoric dis
coveries at FL Paso, but it wasn't the
Chicago sort of jungle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

"A Chicago judge has decided that
street band that does not play in tune
Is guilty Of a misdemeanor. He is IN
doubtedly correct. II you don't believe
1t. Just notice the next time you hear
such a band how dImcult it makes
walking, when one foot tries to march
a. time and the other out.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

Secretary Bonaparte advocates put
ting the trust hogs in individual pens.
The public viii approve this idea If the
pens are made Of steel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

The country is anxious for reform,
all right, but it is particular about its
reformers. That is why it is a trife
-ensnioieus Of w. r. Hearst.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

Henry Allen has a boom to succeed
Senator Smith in the state senate from
the Frauklin-Coffey district. II Mr.
ALLEN doesn't succeed in side-stepping
the ONCE, it will be worth while at
tending the senate session next win
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

A PRAYER.
God bless thee and merthis day,
God bless thee and me,
Send that we may take our way
Happily.
God keep thee and me from sin
Wheresoe' er we roam,
And when evening closes IN
Lead us home.
Caroline Mccormick, in The Reader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

There is this consolation anyway:
Twenty thousand ballots won't be
spoiled and thrown out because OF err
rors in marking this year.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

Be patient a few days longer and II
VIII all be over but the shouting.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01
EROM OTHER PENS
IL NEW JERSEY.

When the GoIby-Record forces were
defeated in the New Jersey primaries.
it was assumed by Senator Dryden anu
r4s friends that the fight was practi-
caIlv over and that all he had to do
was to await in patience and conf
dence a second investiture with the
senatorial toga. But the revolt Goes
NOT seem TO have ended, and in Es-
sex county, which is the storm center.
OF the situation. prominent citizens Of
the Republican faith, including many
of the clergy, have held a mass meet
ing and placed an independent ticket
in the field, directed against the Lentz
Organization. There is also boiling
candidate for the mayoralty OF New
defeated IN that county by either the
independents OF tlfe Democrats Sena-
tor Dryden'ss chances would be Sc
riousiy inperilled. There IS opposi-
ton enough to easily defeat him. The
trouble is. & is not united.-Boston
Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

Pretty soon now We will know how
much good it does to talk about the
--nam order candidate from Chicago
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

These newspaper headlines about an
Indian uprising in wyoming do not
look just right in the Twentieth cen
fury.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

one Of the handsomest financial pub
acations ever Issued from printing
s-ssg is the current issue Of The Elnan-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01
HUMOR or THE Day

II HUMOR or TIE DAY
sir began the young man. nervously.
I'D like TO taks your oausnlsR away
.'xvhat?'' cried the father
'.yvhy-er-re really, you must expect e
'0 cor &c course, and 50 why next April!
What's the matter with TINS Octooer!
philadelphia Press
Il feel. said the plain citizen. that
am not receiving the eonsl s9stfsIaS -
well" answered the billionaire, save
up your money, make careful. invest nesss
10 he a taxpayer and become q tax
dodger. w ashington Star
Gwendolen-How do you like the new
Esmeralda-It's too short Four letters
don't begin to convey an idea Of the thrill
when you-When you are-thsF Is
Chicago Tribune.
Mrs Keene-Have all the other women
The Maid-Yes.m ---you're the last one.
nounce me so that they can get through
talking about me before 1 90 in.-CleTe-
land Leader
sI suppose" said the friend the day
after the wedding. it was rather nara
Wen. no replied the brides father.
TT did seem as If It was going TO De nafd
at enc time. but she landed this fellow
Just as we were beginning to lose all
hope Baltimore American
THAT new bride is always eating fudge.
She says her husband thinks It looks
Hes a wise Johnny. He knows that
as long as her mouth is filled with fudge
she cant talk. ''-Cleveland Plain Dealer
For goodness sakegr exclaimed Mrs
Skrapps what are you always complain
ing for? You haven't ANYBODY TO blame
"Oh. I admit proposed to YOU Iou
needn't be throwing that up TO me. re
piled her husband, saYagely'-Pn PIMA
Press.
You don't have any Of these rambling
/ old farnhouses IN Kansas said the Ne"
10 responded the western visitor.
where they haven't time to ramble. =
Louisville Courier-J ournal
Old croakybo Il think we'd better
have the passage and staircase repaspered
while Tn laid uD. Mrs Grimage-
'ad Mt Yer better wait and see 'ow. We
goes on fust? Them collins do make such
/ work with staircase wallpapers Smiles.
Mr. KuIcher your Literary Circle IS
making. study of Shakespeare now,
Miss Gidday. yes. indeed
Mr.. Kuleher. and what have you
Miss Gidday. well. we've discovered
| that he's Just TOO cute for anything. -
I Catholic Standard and Times.
In the LeRard house there was a great
I anGsffs mistress said: Serve the dinner:
/ there is no one else to come except
relation of little Importance.
Five minutes afterwards the maid an
| nounced IN loud tone:
The relation of little importance. 10
| Scaccia oensieri.
Mother (who has beer. asked to suggest
! a game for rainy afternoOn) WHY
don't YOU pretend YOU are me2 And
George can be Daddy. Then you might
play al housekeeping.
/ Daughter. But. mother. we've quar-
relied once already-''-Puncf.
Mature designated me as poet" re-
marked the visitor, handing over a manu-
script.
"Ah. may I ask what seemed to inter-
fere with natures plan?' replied the edi-
tor. returning the psper--Philadelphia
Ledger.
Fred Nothing pleases a girl mere
than the devoted attentions Of the man
Tess-.'oh. yes: there Is something that
plesses her more"
Fred-s'What IS it2"
Tess-''The devoted attentions o. the
man some other girl loves.'-Woman' 5
Home Companion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

Speaking Of good citizens, Rudolph
spreckles. one OF san Francisco's rich
men. has given 100000 to defray the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

a cOmbination Of al the big pack
ing companies Is threatened, but the
public will not be greatly surprised
thereby unless it Is the purpose Of the
benevolent butchers to go back to the
old plan of giving away the liver.-St.
Louis Globe-Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01
WHERE TGNO

WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS
Mr.. Silveira, the Cuban banker who
left Havana with a million OF his
firms money. cant understand why it
should have failed. There Is no such
word as fail in the lexicon of 3 man
who can get away with a nlillIon.-st
Louis Republic
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

1T suppose said the friend the day
after me wedding. cit was rather hard
to lose your daughter
well, no" replied the bride father.
.srf ala seem a II II was going to be hard
At one time buf she landed this fellow
lust as we were beginning to lose all
hope. ''-Baltimore American
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01
MERRY NOTES N SONGS.

IT Is estlNnafed tfaI AfneIIcaIls SPEND
100000. 600 in Europe every summer
That Is almost enough to justify the
Europeans IN singing 1.-The Good Old
Summer Time. st. Louis Republic
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

For goodness sake!~ exclaimed Mrs.
Skrapps. what are you always complain
ing for? You haven't anybody to blame
for your trouble but yourself.
oh. admit proposed to YOU You
needn't be throwing that up TO me. re-
piled her husband. saYagely.-P hihdeipnia
Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01
HANDING oUr INDICTMENTs.

Tennessee believes in being gener-
Gus and in giving good measure. Some
states might feel like being stingy with
the Standard OIL company because Of
the way il had sold oil to them. first
throwing them down on their backs
and then making them take It, but
Tennessee is of a forgiving nature. It
comes to the frort in this spirit of
brotherly love. handing the great lu-
IRRIGATION trust an Indictment of 1.524
counts. the maximum nne for which
would be $40. $50. 600. Now let tho
Standard be equally generous and has
ten to draw its check for the money
Chicago NeWs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

Gwendolen-How do you like the new
Esneralda-It's too short. Four letters
don't begin to convey an idea Of the thrill
when you-when you are-thsF IS
Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

you don't have any of these rambling
old farrnhouses IN Kansas, said the New
England man.
No responded the western visitor
when our houses get ready to 60 any
where they haven't time TO ramble -
Louisville Courier-J ournal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

THAT new bride is always eating fudge
She says her husband thinks II looks
cute"
Hes a wise Johnny. He knows that
as long as her mouth is filled with fudge
she cant talk Plain Dealer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01
STRANGER THAN FICTION.

The fact that Richard Croker
should live to receive an apology for
criticism Of his political career shows
that nothing Is Washing
ton star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

arriyed2
Mrs Keene-Wel you'd better an
Tounce me so that they can get through
talking about me before 1 90 in.-CleVe-
land. Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

Old Croalzybo 81 think wed better
have the passage and staircase repapered
while I'm laid uD. Mrs Cirimage-
Mrs. G. (his 1ousekeeper). LOT. sir;
'ad MT yer better wait and see 'ow. We
goes on fust? Them collins do make such
work with staircase wallpapers. Smiles
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

Mother (who has beer. asked to suggest
a game for a rainy afternoon. WHY
don't you pretend YOU sre me2 And
George can be Daddy. Then you might
play at housekeeping.
Daughter. But. mother. we've quar-
relied once already. Punch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-01

In the LeRard house there was a great
dinner. After awhile the maid was called
ana the mistress said: Serve the dinner:
there is no one else to come except
relation of little Importance
Five minutes afterwards the maid an
nounced sn loud tone:
The relation of little Importance. 10
Scaeciao ensieri.