davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

rank inadequacy to describe as irre-
sistible
The fact Is that under the influence
Of the rural press the farmers of the
Sun1ower state are organizing to de-
mand an extra inch on the tail Of every
cotton shirt turned out by our domestic
factories. High class computers have
been employed in gigantic calculations
to this end. and their verdict Is that the
extra inch viii enrich the cotton mill
lers. raise the growers TO dizzy PIN
nacles of opulence, and at the same
time add vastly to the warmth and
comfort Of the bucolic leg. Both the
Democratic and Republican state COM
mittees have discouraged the agitation
Their contention is that such an issue
will engender undesirable complica-
tions and confuse the. real question at
stake as between the parties. They
argue that If the cotton crop should
prove to be short, as now seems prob
able. it will become necessary to cur
tail instead of Iengthening the great
American shirt They insist, moreover.
that the shape, character. and extent
OF his shirt tail are matters to be de-
cided by the individual according to
his taste and fancy. What is this
boasted land of liberty coming to, they
ask. if men may not wear the kind Of
shirt that suits their shape-or their
caprice@but must submit to unwel-
come elongation of a hidden tail at the
tyrannica1 dictum of propaganda?
''1eanwhfles the agitation rolls along,
gathering impetus and volume as it
rolls The fever has spread to Mis-
souri,, Iowa, Nebraska, and now
threatens to leap the Mississippi river
and include the teeming millions of the
middle west in one roaring epidemic.
In vain the Wlllie-bsy complains that
larger and more copious shirt tails will
encourage Jumps in once pellucid
pants. The movement runs like a prai-
RE fire and none may stop it. There
is a prospect, even. that it may en-
velop nighties and other cotton things
in its riotous embrace. The cry-the
overwhelming shibboleth-is, one inch
more of shirt tall! And the very jim
son weed and castor-beans shake out
new fronds and issue fresh and fercer
odors for the sake of loyal testimony
and enthusiasm"
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
QUAKER REF1EcTToNs.

From the Philadelphia Record.1
Counterfeit respectzsilfty will soon
tarnish.
Rapid transit isn't always character
istic of the road to success.
Sillicus-''Do, you believe that the
good die young?" Cynicus-.sW Well, the
good resolutions do"
A man should always respect his
superiors, but some fellows act as
though they didn't have any.
Some men look as though they had
the world on their shoulders and were
afraid 1t was going to slip Of
The elevator man in a school has a
great responsibility. He must see that
the children are well brought up.
A woman's private opinion Of her
husband dem monstrates that there is at
least one thing she can keep to her
self.
Half the world is so busy making
money that 1t doesn't realize how busy
the other half is trying 70 get along
without it.
Polly Pinktights@''The soubrette is
going in for tragedy Fanny Foot
Tragedy" Polly Pinktights-
We'll she's going to get married
Mrs. Muggins-''Is your husband
out at night as much as he used to
beg" Mrs BugginS-''No, 7 think his
luck must have changed He told me
he was in fifty last night
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

Hunting. 'He was thlrtss-two years
old-a perfectly formed dwarf. He
made more money yeEgins than he
could in a museum.
you want your old place back you nay
have it."
II want a partnership objected
Hunting, II want to get married.
'sT'll make It Il wedding present to
Mrs. Hunting" promised the other
Come around as soon as you are
ssTSo Won think / can be OF any use
to YOU 7'' asked Mabel that night as
they talked over their marriage.
my child" he laughed. If had
not been writing you ia have lost the
whole thing. I'm going to give you
half the reward for a wedding pres
ent."
1T don't need It." she said softly,
when 1 have you.''=( Copyright, 1905.
by P. c. Eastment.)
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
KANSAS C0MMENT


But WHO Is IT?
Hurrah, the Topeka Capital has land
ed on the senatorship at last. It is out
boldly in a column discussion of Chas.
Curtis record on railroad legislation
The effort of the Capital Is to prove
that Curtis is not the choice of the
railroads for United States senator.
Would the esteemed Capital kindly in
dicate, then, who the choice of the
railroads is for United States senator
II they have no choice, then the Capt.
tai has been uselessly agitating US by
declaring that the railroads are seek
ing to control the politics of the state.
Does the Capital have any explanation
OF the peculiar phenomena furnished
in the fact that all the old war horses
who have for years valiantly perform
ed the service of the railroads in Kan
sas politics are today energetically
pushing Mr. Curtis candidacy for the
United States senator Could the Capt.
tai give US its explanation Of the sing
all the other railroad attorneys at To-
ital has been trying TO be great as an
anti-railroad paper It made some
headway. Does It desire US to conclude
now that all its clamor was purely for
effect? Would it desire US to conclude
that It's indignation against the DOM
nancy Of corporations in Kansas poll
tics was only simulated? Or is it pos
sible that the Capital may have been
playing a confidence game? Has it
been trying to place itself in an anti
railroad class in order to make its ad-
vocacy of Mr.. Curtis more effective p
Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The days are growing shorter, but
perhaps you hadn't noticed 1t.
Once more this department would
like to suggest that the Fourth of July
celebration shall not begin until the
Fourth.
Many garden has had a heavy
drain on its resources since the meat
scandals came to light
The man who kicks about the hypo-
critics in the church forgets all about
the millions of hypocrites outside OF
the church.
This department rises to a question
of information: Is there anything
that viii make a man more of a rabbit
than to run for Office?
Bill DoolittIe is getting mighty
anxious to have some of these free
alcohol distilleries start up. Bill is
skeptical about denatured alcohol be-
Ing undrinkabIe, at least as far as he is
concerned.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

ministratlon in the state Of Kansas and
the Democrats have good chance of
carrying the election this fall" remark
ed former Senator William A. Harris,
the Democratic candidate for governor.
at the Raleigh last night. II do not
mean to make any prophecy on the re-
suit Of the election, as It is difficult to
say what the outcome will be, but It is
certain that the opposition to the ad-
ministration OF Governor Hoeh is pro-
nounced. The people do not like his
attitude in the NJ K. & T. land suit
Most of the criticism of the people OF
Kansas against the governor however,
is directed at the things that he has
left undone, his sins Of omission" Mr.
Harris is here on private business.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
Difference in TheTts.

Where's Willie 20 asked Mr.. Spratt,
arriving home from business the other
night.
'oh, John replied Mrs. spratt with
troubled countenance, something
very, very distressing happened today.
left two cents lying on the dining
room table and Willie took it and
went out to the corner and bought
candy with 1t. I taxed him with the
crime and he owned up. corrected
him and sent him to bed. You must
nave serious talk with him in the
morning. oh. I am so distressed about
Willie, believe should die, John,
really. If the boy grew up dishonest .
And Mrs. Spratt wiped a tear out of
her eye.
oh I wouldn't worry" soothingly
replied the husband. 81 will talk to
the little sinner in the morning.
Willie is only six years old, you know.
and most children of that age are apt
to yield easily to temptation. Their
Ideas OF right and wrong are not firm
" fixed as vet. But what have you
been doing today, love?'
OH / have been shopping; and,
John, the funniest thing happened. I
rode all the way up tow min a surface
car and 1t didn't cost me cent. The
conductor never once asked me for
my fare"
"And did you offer it to him %
"Of course not, goosie. It was his
business to ask me for it, wasn't It?
do you think that was .quite=er-
er-honest2" ventured John
why. of course it was tartIy re-
piled Mrs. Spratt What is the con-
ductor paid for, should like to
know. Tt isn't my business to make
him collect fares, is It %
well. now. in Wil1ie's case ven
tured the amused husband.
Why, John. how can you talk so
silly?" rejoined his wife. 'sThe cases
are entirely different You are alb
surd- Really I don't think men have
their sense of right and wrong any
more firmly fixed than children. II
the conductor had asked me for my
fare I should have given it to him, OF
course
"Oh. yes. certainly Of course. my
dear" replied John with a queer look
in his eyes.-New York Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
a Feathered ouadruned.

Prof. w. S. Campbell. the superin-
tendent of the Indian school at Pipe
stone, Mimi, was talking about the ex-
aminations which, at this season, rack
and harass the breasts of the young
of America.
THE stoical young Indian. no less
than the emotional young paleface, is
scared" said Prof Campbell, "at the
June examination coming. And in
examination he. like the rest of the ju-
venile world, makes a great many odd
mistakes.
''At Pipestone, in a recent examina-
ton in etymology. the teacher said to
a lad.
= Black Eagle. what is a quadru-
ped?'
I" A. thing with four legs, the boy
answered promptly.
Good, said the teacher. And are
there any feathered quadrupeds?'
Y es, was the reply.
"'Oh. there are, are there p laugh
the teacher. Well. name one
"a feather bed, said the boy Los
Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
THE MARTYR.

He read the packing-house reports,
HIS actions thereto fitted,
ana thereon from his bill OF fare
All kinds OF meat omitted
he next put up the bars on hsh;
Decided, after WrangIing
Ihey ought to make the fishermen
wear white kid gloves when angling.
When he beheld the gentle COW
NO milk he dared to tackle,
Nor would he eat an egg without
A Photographic cackle
Thus in a while it came about
he perished from starvation
And on his tomb they carved the words
Died of Investigation!"
New York sun.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFrom the Atehigon alobe.l

The first reproach Is the first nail in
the coffin OF friendship.
Men never stay long when they go
on
It is noticeable that punches OF fire
crackers. like everything else, grow
smaller every year.
There is at least one thing to be
said to the credit of the men. they do
not visit their kin much.
Next 10 moving the county seat, the
surest way to get up a row in a coun-
try town is to move the postofice.
When a woman returns from a visit,
she says. They all wanted me to stay
a good deal longer" But did they?
When people want to sal. real mean
things about a druggist they accuse
him Of charging for samnIa battles OF
medicine.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

she-Your habits and preferences seem
to hS0s yo fes fnanseq ofTen 5inee 0u so noW
He-Oh, don't know ny habits are
pretty much the same.
He-VVeii, I was hardly ever At home
then, either.-American spectotor.
Iawyer-Did the prisoner strike the
complainant in the heat Of pasAtonl
Wftness-No, sab; in de solah plexu1a-
sah.-Baltimore American
The Engaged Girl-Tvs always heard
The Mstron-Yes but marriage Is a great
oculist-Translated from Tales from Les
Annales.
Tommy-TIow do your pa and ma work2
Johnny-Like the house and senate-ir
one Of them passes my bin the other one
kills tt.-New York Sun
Mr.. YOunshusband-Have you a good
Wife2A perfect gentleman, darling.
When order a four pound roast ne al
ways sends one weighing six OF seven
.Bragley's 3 publisher. isn't he2"
He told me he was disseminator Of
An. hes bin eleEk. n the employ OF
johnson says he has four bathrooms in
Made a plumbers paradise Of It. chr
Milwaukee Sentinel
Yeast-You didn't seem to gain any
weight while you were down south
nose peeled three times.-Yonkers States
man.
neiFhSoTs aiSoTFsRE Chickens from from getting your your
Bookers-I have colored gardener
Brooklyn Life.
A1iIionaire-The dealer sold me this "old
F'risnd-Because he knew you, I sup
Iaaffillionaire-Gad. mol Because he didn't
college man? He never quotes from the
80: But he knows every tseeh,piicality
Star.
Mrs. Housekeep-I think ven get along,
Bridget, If you can only manage not to
New servant-Faith, we kin hx that
don't give. me any orders.-Philadelphia
Public Ledger.
Lady-Ahem, There seems to be some
mistake / advertised for a French maid.
Applicant-No mishtal1e, mum. It's
as the six children Oi attinded can tell
yez.-New York Weekly.
Saloonkeeper-L girl what is it, I
don't sell liquor to children.
Little Girl-Have you got any of this
good natured alcohol I want some of it
for papa.-Chicago News
Teaeher-Now. Robert, do you know
what an isosceles triangui is2
Boy es'T m,
Teacher-Well, what is it2
BOy-It's one Nv dem tings gifts licked
fer not KNOWN wot It is.-Judee.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR,
LFrom the New York Press.l

LFrom the New York Press.l
There is something about educatioz
that makes a man the mortal enemy cK
work
If women held public once there
wouldn't be any that could resist q
pearl necklace.
Next to having his hair parted a boy
feels worst over getting good conduct
marks in school.
A woman has such a fine vacation
buying her clothes to go away for the
summer that she doesn't care whether
she goes or not.
When a girl gets her skirt tangled
up in a buggyStep and she Is down On
the ground It is a sign she has a very
pretty color.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
Edison's Cigars.

Mr.. Edison is a great smoker, but
becomes so absorbed in his work that
he often forgets he has a cigar in his
mouth. He complained to his tobac-
conist of the rapidity with which his
cigars disappeared, and could not be-
1ieve he smoked them all himself. The
dealer agreed to make some faxed
cigars" "I'l1 fix 'em with horsehair
and hard rubber" said he. Then
you'll find that there will not be so
many missing" Several weeks later
Mr.. Edison saw the tobacconist again
and said:
Look here! I thought you were
going to fix me some faxed cigars %
why, I didi" exclaimed the other,
in hurt surprise. Don't you remem-
ber the box with a green label-cigars
tied with yellow ribbon %
Edison smiled rehectively- 'I
smoked those cigars myself" he said.
-Roston Post.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
oH TIE AsSOCLALED PRESS
HoAEF NEWS WHILE AWAY.

suHscribers OF the state Journal
sway during the summer may have
ahs paper mailed regularly each day
10 any address at the rate Of ten cents
b week or thirty cents q month (by
zaal oEsIy). Address changed as often
ns desired. While out OF town the
stats Journal win be 70 you like q
daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
khass short time subscriptions, to save
booszkeeping expense.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
PoINTED PAIsAeRAPHa
[From the ChIcaeo News.1

Some men fail to make a hit be
cause they aim too high
A woman's idea OF true believer is
one who believes as she does.
Wise men never borrow trouble as
long as they can borrow money.
Many a husband would lose his Job
If his wife was a mind reader.
Maud Muller met with sad dtsap-
pointment in the hay-day OF her youth.
If a woman can't break some mans
heart she gets reckless and breaks her
own.
Never do any worrying today that
you can just as well postpone until to-
morrow.
And many mans bravery is due to
his knowledge OF the fact that the
other fellow is a coward.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
UmbreIIas at 35 Per.

LAS a rule" said the umbrella ven
der. Il have no kick coming. It's
cinch to sell my celebrated fast color
waterproof umbrellas at So cents apiece
with wide choice in the handles. to
people going home caught in a heavy
rain and there's a lot of people here to
sell EN- to, and when the conditions
are right I get rid of a big bunch of
EN-; but sometimes I do get a little
wrench.
I'm a good judge of the weather
and 1 don't often go wrong, but I do
sometimes, like 1 did, for instance,
yesterday.
Raining like Niagara falls before
they turned the water off for the pow
er houses when I started out, but clear
ing up and stopping raining altogether
Just when the crowds were going home.
When it hits one like that why, Of
course, I don't sell a parachute. not
one. I have to pack the whole big
bundle home.
''I've got no kick coming, for all
that I sell 'em lot of shelters when
it does rain and I don't expect it to
rain all the Exchange.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

Mr. Edison expects to place the au-
fomobile within the reach Of all soon
But unless he will also place the cost
of repairs within the reach Of all most
OF as will have to continue to wear out
the sfdewalka and pay street car fare.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
THE RUSH 10 EUROPE.

The demand for passports at Wash
ington transcends all past experiences,
which means that more money is go
ing out Of the country than ever be-
fore in a season. But 1t also indicates
that there IS more money than ever be-
fore.-Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

why Not Be Frank?'' asks the KAN
sss City Journal in discussing the case
.oe Frank Hoffman and Aggie Myers,
and the salina Journal discovers several
reasons why it doesn't want to be
FRANK. and it doesn't use a microscope
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

The Lawrence Journal puts it this
way: Both the candidates for governor
have been asked by Leavenworth pa
per how they stand on prohibition.
tHoch is for 1.-THE law but agin Its en-
lforcement. Harris is agin the law but
for its enforcement
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
EROA OTTER PENS
~ PENNsYLVANTA

President Roosevelt disdains respon-
sfbility for Secretary Shaw's stand-pat
Iowa speeches, and incidentally de-
clares that he will not interfere in fac
tiona1 party contests in any state. This
is pretty fair notice to the gang that
they cannot expect federal aid in the
attempt to punish Independent Repub-
lican reformers in Pennsylvania who
are battling for clean state and mu-
nicipal government.-Phil
Record.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
wise Man.

A man named Zeno was with a
circus. Business had been bad and
at the end of the season Zeno went
to the manager for his salary. The
manager said: II am very sorry to
keen YOU waiting, zeno, but we pay
aIpha beticaIly. If you'll be patient a
few days you'll get your money
So Zeno waited a few days and
went to the manager. who said. Il m
very sorry, Zeno, but the money ran
out before we got to z.
The next season Zeno went out
with the same show. When the man
ager saw him he said: How do you
do. Zeno2" Don't call me Zeno," he
exclaimed. 'I've changed my name to
Ajax''-The Argonaut.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

It will be just like some fool report
er to spoil Mr. Bryan's homecoming
as soon as he steps on the wharf by
asking him how he is now standing
on the question Of the sacred "rashO. ="
Washington Post
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

.srhe Kentucky smile remarks the
Il Louisville Herald. has length. breadth
and permanence." It also tastes good,
Judging from the remarks Of those who
sssuliief occasionally
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

services there are few things more
edifying than the thought Of those
Louisiana legislators out in their night
clothes trying to put out fire in the
state capitol. Maybe this will hold the
muck rakers for a while.-Indianapo polls
News.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
He Knew Human Nature.

In a little village there once lived a
boy who was supposed to be dull-wit-
ted The men of the village used to
find great amusement in offering him
the choice between a threepenny bit
and a penny, Of which he invariably
chose the penny. A stranger one day
saw him choose the penny rather than
the threepenny bit. and asked him for
the reason. rs It because the penny is
larger?' the stranger asked.
Nav" was the response, mot cause
II is the biggest. But II I took the three
penny bit they'd soon stop o6ering it,
-Tatler.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

For the first time in many years the
senate of the United States has full
quota of members-ninety. Dupont's
election closed the gap caused by the
prolonged "Addicks or nobody cam
paign, and the governors of Maryland
and Kansas lost no time in filling va
cancies made by death and resignation.
There is no prospect, however, of all
being their seats at the same time at
the present session.-Baltimore Amer
lean.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

The next time Upton Sinclair starts
ont TO write a novel about some in
dustry it's a safe guess that the own
ers Of the Industry viii pay him well
not to do it.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

what will be President Roosevelt's
next sensation % asks the New York
world. Well we cannot say exactly,
but the packers hope it won't concern
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

The new senator from Kansas is to
be chairman Of the Select committee
on the examination and disposition of
documents. It IS high honor for any
new senator to have such a title con-
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

As our spiritual advisers are making
for the high seas it may be timely tC
recall that the devil never takes a va
cation.-NeW York Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

Congress has arrived at that stage
where the "jokeFs'' and bad legislation
win begin to creep through The
members are getting in a hurry to ad-
. fe.1rla
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

A Nebraska Democrat, who claims
to know. says mr.. Bryan would never
be happy in the White House" Still,
there seems to be a number of people
who are anxious to make Mr.. Bryan
unhappy for at least four years.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

Conevville admits that it is a first
class city and has a population Of owe
rs. Geo, but privately the Record says j
ought to be 25 1000.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

Tokalon. the winner Of the Brooklyn
handicap. was not only not a favorite,
but his number was "1s." Probably
that vas the handicap.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

Some persons are wondering why Gen
eral Corbin spends so much time wor-
rying about the small pay Of young
army officers. He has done pretty well
himself-Buffalo Express.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

A cIairvoyant says the Democratic
ticket in 1908 will be Bryan and Will
Hams. Now watch Massachusetts, and
mississippi look furtively at one an
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

Most OF US will cheerfully pay the
one-thirtieth Of a cent per year which
the presidents travelling expenses will
I--o=f ss
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
c0NsI sTENc,Y

AS I putter around town and talk to
the men and neighbor women a whole
lot of things amuse me. I am every
day reminded what a glittering jewel is
consistency. People who have no
electric lights In their houses kick be-
cause they are not in the auditorium
and all the stores. This man roasts his
neighbor because he keeps a dog that
barks at night while his own chickens
are scratching up all the gardens in the
block. Lots Of people kick because
their meter registers too much water.
But II the water ran the other way and
they got paid for what went out they
would swear the meter had sprung a
leak and they didn't get paid for half
that ran out. This Republican can't
vote straight because it is a railroad"
ticket. but the other day he asked a
friend if he couldn't get a pass for him
self and wife to Kansas City. L could
cite such incidents from now until the
Central Branch is extended. but what's
the use? It's just human nature and
we can't help it-Bert Walker.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25
THE PATH 10 sTATEHOOD.

It is almost as hard for new state
to break into the Union as 1t was for
some of the old states to break out
Pittsburg Gazette-Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

There was no shortage in the diploma
harvest this year anyway.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

"One-half the world" says an ex-
rhange, does not know what it eats
sAnd the other half only has suspie-
hons
The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-25

; Tyhe rest of the country really ought
Ra let M on Senator PIatt for awhile.
Mae wood Is after him again now.