davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
BUYING A BOTTLE FOR BABY.

Chicago Record Herald.
A new, inexperienced father, sent to
purchase supplies for q. baby, is apt to
be handicapped IL the open market.
On the other hand, he may prove
Unexpectedly terse and comprehensive.
''I want a milk bottle for a. baby"
began o stranger, addressing d drug
clerk.
I'How large2' demanded the clerk
Fifteen pounds" replied the father,
proudly.
A drug clerk would hardly neglect
this opportunity 30 emphasize his su-
periority over his customer in point Of
knowledge.
The bottle you specify is very near
~ a carboy,' he observed, facetiously.
q You probably referred to the baby,
whereas I referred to the capacity of
the bottle.
f'This BOTTLE explained the father
quickly, 'should be large enough to
6ll one baby or about baby and a
half
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
Why the Pastor Ban.

One Of the traditional stories OF the u
OF Fairfield, Conn, recounts wild q
from the pulpit made by worthy and
loved pastor OF the Episcopal flock, Or.
baree. !.
II was on Sunday more than hundI
years ago. The service had been read,
prayers said. the hymns sung. and the pan
began his sermon. AS he proceeded bis g
lures became very energetic. He brougaE
right arm down with great force. Then.
turned pale. cleared the pulpit stairs "a
bound, dashed out the church door ard
toward the pond. short distance swsy;
The congregation followed IL oeW1inq
pursuit, and saw their venerable pastor y
dying robe rush into the water until II en
10 his neck. Then turning round ne saa
the astonisned audience aad said:
Dearly beloved brethren. am nor 81
as no doubt many or you think. out
terday at The drug store ] bought ooL
OF nitric ecid and carelessly left 1t IN
pocket today. s,,
''My last gesture broke the bottle. ! Aa'
the suffering the acid would cause wneu
penetrated my clothing, and rusned iof
water TO save myself pain.
He drew several pieces OF glsss iro@
pocket IN witness CT the tale. Inen hs
missed the company and hurried aome
Youths Companion
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
He WAS ALL RIGHT.
New York Tribune.

New EorE IrlbuNe.
Not long ago visiting minister IN
IN the Girard will that 'fno ecclesiastic,
missionary or minister of any sort shall
ever be permitted within the premises
of the college, presented himself at
the gate Of Girard college and started
to enter. care you a minister, sir9'
asked the gatekeeper eyes, was the
imsuspecting reply. "Then YOU can Vt
enter here, said the gateman, tersely
giving the reason ''Tke devil YOU
say, came from the astanjshed clergy
man. The gentleman hesitated for Il
moment. but after pondering the minis
ter's remark, be is said 10 have replied:
"Oh, you re all right. When You talk
that way you can't be very strong in
the preaching line
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
OLD PEOPLE N EUROPE.
ChIcsgo Record.Nerald

Nnlcsso RecoEG'HetsIu'
4 German statistician has made a
careful Investigation to discover In
which countries the greatest age is at
tanned. The German Empire, with
$4,000, 600 population, has but rs sub;
jects who are more than 100 years old.
France, with fewer than 40,000,0o0, has
2l3 persons who have passed their hun
dredth birthday. England has lag;
Scotland, 46; Denmark, 2; Belgium, 5;
Sweden, 10, and Norway, with 100000
inhabitants, %. Switzerland does not
boast single centenarian, but Spain,
with about lS,000,000 population, has
40. The most amazing hgures come
from that troublesome and turbulent re-
gion known as the Balkan Peninsula.
ina than 100 % Years ears e eold; Roumania, ma 1,os1
and Bulgaria, 3,6s3. In other words,
Bulgaria has a centenarian TO every
1000 inhabitants, and thus holds the
international record for old people. In
1892 alone there died in Bulgaria. $50
persons who had exceeded the century.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
SIMPLY A SMITHISM.

Joseph F. Smith delivered quite a
lengthy and a very much studied ad-
dress at the opening Of the semi.annual
conference of the Mormon church on
Friday, October 5, 1906. In the course
of that sermon he referred TO his re-
cent European tour in this explanatory
way:
left home for little Test--not that
expected to obtain physical Iest, but 3
change sometimes is rest 10 men who are
constantly engaged in duties that are siren
uous and sometimes very burdensome
President Smith left the matter there
1T IS known that he is Identified with
so mnny business concerns that personal
attention 10 all would, perhaps, be ply
sically Impossible. Ii is fair to assume,
however, that he is relieved OF many
Of his numerous duties in that direction
by some of his very capable business
associates. Therefore, for further and
fuller particulars the public and The
Tribune are compelled to 90 to the
record, wherein we find Joseph F. Smith,
prophet, seer and revelator (pretended)
testifying in the Smoot investigation
at Washington as follows;
Mr.. Worthngton your own cese
as an illustration of what the situation is
You have Ave families and they are all in
Salt Lake!
Joseph T. smith.--Yes, sir.
The Chairman Mr.. Smith, will not press
il. but I will ask yon II you have any oh.
lection to stating how many children you
have ia all
Joseph F Smith-Altogether1
The Chairman.--Yes
Joseph F Smith, have born TO me- sig
- children; 81 boys and ~ girls,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
A QUAKER WHISKY CURE.

Ladies Home Journal.
William Penn was once urging man
when the man suddenly asked:
Can you tell ME of an easy way to
do it,"
Yes replied Penn, readily, cit is
lust as easy as to open thy hand,
friend.
'Convince me of that" the man ex-
claimed, land will promise upon my
honor to do as you tell me-.
''Well, my criend," Penn answered,
whenever thee finds glass of liquor
in thy hand open that hand before the
glass touches thy lips, and thee will
never drink to excess again"
The man was so struck by the sim
that he followed it and reformed.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
CONSULAR SERVICE COURSES.

New York Commercial.
Yale and Columbia are the recipients
of widespread felicitations on account
OF their establishment OF courses for
the preparation of young men for the
consular service. The prescribed studies
are broad and comprehensive, and they
are likely TO be useful, whether those
who avail themselves of them are sp.
pointed TO the consular service OF not
When the late William NJ. Evarts was
Secretary of State, he advised a young
man who was an applicant FOR the Con
sulship to Cadiz to study Spanish and
apply for the Consulship later on. The
young man followed the Secretary s ad.
vice only to find that the Consulship
he was seeking had been filed while he
was fitting himself for it
"Never mind, said Secretary
t,yarts, by way of consolation to the
disappointed young man, "you can ex-
perience the joy of reading Don
QuiXote' In the original
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
4 NUT To CRACK.
- in New York Press.

Tip, IN New York Press.
H. VI. Willis, the aluminium king,
found time one hot day this week to
sweat over the following: A man had
sixty ducks for sale and divided them
into two lots of thirty each. One lot
as to be disposed of at three for S.,
and the other at two for 81. In his abb
sence the clerk sold the sixty ducks at
FIVE for So. realizing the sum of $24. If
sold according to Instructions, one pur-
chaser would have got thirty ducks for
SIS and the other thirty for $40, max,
ing v25 for the lot. What became of
the missing dollar2'
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
SIMPLE CURE FOR NEURALGIA
Indian Revisw.

facial neuralgia. If the neuralgia is = IN 4
the right side of the face the LETT hand
should be placed in q basin Of water
as hot as can be borne. Or If neuralgia
is in the left side Of the face then the
right hand should be placed IN tho hot
water It is asserted that in this way
relief may be obtained IN less than FIVE
minutes. The explanation is that the
two nerves which have the greatest
number Of tactile nerve endings are the
fifth and the median nerve. AS the
fibers of these two nerves cross aaY
impulse conveyed to the left hand Will
affect the right side Of the face, or
if applied TO the right hand will affect
the left side of the face. This is on
account Of the crossing Of the cords.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
MAKING 1T CLEAR.

Country editors, Like all others. have
TO be scrupulously careful about the ac
curacy of the news. We note thislucid
correction in The Sequaehaa (Tenn.)
News: 'I want to thank Mrs. Carson
very much for correcting the sad mis-.
to Utah, as the party Of friends did not
understand that her son was so far
from that place, and if she does not al
low everybody their own privileges it
would be helpless thing, for they have
them Just the same. -
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
THE YOUNGER BLOOD.

New YORK Press.
A Wall street operator actively in
the market lives more in five hours
than the most strenuous Of men IN 9th
er callings. It is a wonder they do not
all die early of heart strain, or con-
tract certain incurable diseases or the
nerves. Most of them withdraw gradu-
ally from the terrific strife, from the
unequal contest of one against the
field, before the final shock comes. Few
drop dead OF apoplexv. Most of the
me6 7 have mentioned as the tip.top-
pers in financial, industrial, and rail
road life may be expected to pass away
in the next decade, leaving the field
open for younger blood Hartman,
Gould, Gates, Stillman, Valentine P.
Snyder, Ryan, Belmont, John D. Rookie
feller, jr,; Harry Payne Whitney, vii.
liam K Vanderbilt, jr, and few 9th
ers-irom men of that stamp will come
the new market leaders. Hartman,
Ryan and Belmont have already cut
their eyeteeth, and Gates and Stillman
are no squab.chickens.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
THE DEATH OF: JUDGE MARSHALL

The whole intermountain region will
grieve on the announcement of the
death OF Judge Thomas Marshall Of
this city. He was one of the earliest
attorneys to begin his law practice
here, and To attain eminence therein,
and yet his was not a general practice;
he declined to enter upon the criminal
branch OF the practice, that being ex.
ceedingly distasteful 10 him. As coun-
selor, as sound, able practitioner in
large matters, as safe custodian and
agent In important charges, he was
trusty and strong. For a number of
years his health has not admitted Of
very active effort, and yet he was
prompt in attention TO everything need
ing his care, and diligent in his busi-
ness. Withal, he was a man of the
very highest sense of honor and recti-
tude, and he had heart Of gold; his
sympathies were warm and keen and
be was in distress whenever a friend
was in difficulty until that friend was
relieved. The world was much the
better that Judge Marshall lived in
it. His noble kind aye all too few.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
PROFITABLE FRUIT RArs1x,c.
Logan Journal.

Logan journal. IL
Brigham City has learned r. IA
care of, and make It's fruit AZ ~
It's peaches, for which it is 81 ssns
a source Of p1oft. During tb;s s
Brigham shipped 129, 700 cases sas'
nlnety-fve carloads; bringing in
thousands Of dollars. While 60
valley may not be so well a5an,MeS 80
peach raising, it raises uneYcsI5sJ
pies and pears, from which lara 80
nue., could be derived by sysfa,ast
methods Of culture, picking and nae
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
PREVENTION OF FTREs.

After years Of experience with sbn
II is surprising that SO many q
should arise from defective dues
from carelessness in placing sn
pipes too near material Of low dasIj
point.
Most Of these hres occur in the
of the year when people are max
preparations for heating their roons
putting up stoves.
II prevention is better than a
then certainly prevention is hst
than total loss, as a FIRE would Near
started in many homes now surrouni
by dry leaves and other Vegetation.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
SUN NEEDS MORE HEAT

Eich6eld Sun,
. At the risk of being ridiculed
sun makes room for this item. Ev'
well'established country newspansr
ways has q. number Of subscr;hers
its books who pay Tor the naner
wood. The Sun is no exception ~
rule, Quite a number Of our natv,
have promised to pay for the sun'
this way We need wood right -
in view of a shortage Of coal. and Z
consider IL a. favor if some OF our
rons, get a move on themselves ana
plenish the fuel supply at the Sun
zee.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
HABD.LUcK STORY.
Atch;son Globe.

4 farmer in this neighborhood r.
q chapter of accidents TussdhaS'd dog /
was cutting grass and moved max NIB Ii
lea off. In the excitement he stSSa Snrns; q
Iieted II d pipe into his pocket and !aa Daa To to
not only his pocket, but his PIPE E. ssS threw ~
bacco as we'll. and TO can IT ail ~ ns stub
down lighted match and SET ID'
BILE a6re,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
WHAT HE REALLY MEANF'

Chicago Record'Herald.
Little Harold had been dlrecsenS1 q.
the teacher To write the word ION
~ can t. - said Harold, caIlSe
pencils busted, ;: -,
..Why. Harold! What d!d you =
was wrong with your pencil.
"Dear me, Children, can any OF
tell what Harold means l ~ sui1
hasu L used the right woEd. ,r;o,
Up went the hand OF little MaiJo1 !.
"Ah, Marjorie, dear. l though, :
would know. What does ni'
He meanths that hith penFa'i
buthticated. -
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
cLERaYNEN TOO SYMPATHETIC

New York Globe.
There is a large corporation IN this
city which Will nsver accept recon-
mendation from clergymen, not heeause
they have no respect for the ministerial
Office but experience has taught, them
that the clergy, are not careful IN CIV
ing recommendations to persons ap.
plying for positions of trust. This is
the view which a noted thief, Joseph
Bailey, alias George Wheton, formed
OF the situation, for when he was
brought into court charged with steal
ing $500 worth of jewelry be said: II
found the minister a very easy thing.
I needed recomm endations TO get posi-
tions where 1 could steal and he gave
them to me. | told him a hard luck
story and he believed I was a good
fellow" In such matters the pastors
Of churches are moved with Synpa-
thy and do not take sufficient care to
investigate the individuals who seek
their help.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
song OF THE OPAL.

I am o bowl of ruddy FIRE, where lies a
whisper OF the moon,
I am the ghost OF some pale rose that brea rs
its periuned heart TOO soon
4 rift OF blue snatch of cloud o garden
full OF summer skies
And, changing like O truant light Of restless
pilgrim butterflies.
Upon white arms I lie at rest, upon white
fingers burn and glow.
As II some master hand had lit my colored
Eres amid the snow
Archie Sullivan. in Appleton 6.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

Chairman El0Tedge, however, NAV
forget and take up his campaign work
some morning without asking for in.
strpcUous from the Federal officials.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
The State ress
URGED TO ADvERTIsr
spFingville Independent.

O.
spFinsville Independent.
nancy MoT thu that the candidaelus. a..
Lhahed and before the pGe are =
battle about TO be ioinedsEN nd
10 come out with some COG ~
and name the particular meats. ~
WI WI, advocate, particularly. WI y
know about it, and what nay VI
n[ness ll they have, and power ia % II
ata ptaSn tata the Soopp point lr and place upodys
PIE desire. When q man SsaI ,is M srne, ,ns 2
once; once 1t y supposed that be Las Las -
peculiar fitness Tor the place ts,so 80
eas ean DO bets better and accomplish mora sTss &
sus supsT;or 1'neb s6;,;a. man, that he has So !,
We will be glad to open psrlst a,,r
9lm!ns, for consideration r. th yur
aidates al on either ticket. Each s sbS 9
~ nave ne;iiag a good reason to give for or0
OF, that his friends put him nn Isa hss.
ne was a good fellow - 'e'a
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

Senator Sutherland probably has an
'des, IN view of that bank examiner
matter, that be can forget to say good
things about the administration in his
campaign speeches.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

II Washington, the courtesy was ex-
tended Senator Sutherland Of carefully
fling his protest against the bank ex-
aminer appointment
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

Mr.. Whitecotton will be too fair TO
Say anything against Smootism on the
stump, unless be becomes convinced
that his apostolic friend is for Frick.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

Moreover, leading church officials
undoubtedly have the evidence OF the
tithipg records TO convince them that
Brother Howell is a model member of
Congress
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

The work of the campaign is ex-
pected TO put quite number Of Smoot.
ties more effectively out of politics than
Marshal Spry is.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
THOSE wALLA wALLA GIRLS

Tacoma Ledger. W.T.,
farmer saved him from the enecty ne. Arm \
the labor famine this summer by subs IL
ing out and helping ded han,ssI aiihs,aI adj
wheat. The press gave tAem tlueb nrs MINIS
vertising, and now the mails are ss ' fro1l
ing them daily offers Of nlat!'sgs ar esnrse 1
WYE yWife who h' can support her husband y S,,'
gOou sSe WaIla ALA Walla girls are not loosins I
for for husbands whom they'll have 70 orsnf ant
mort Working for father IS o'-'''
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

II one may believe what each side
says about the other, neither the Re.
publican nor Democratic Legislative
candidates in Cache are for the Agri-
cultural college.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

NJ Carlson can remain on the Snoot
ticket for County Commissioner with.
out fear that meetings of fhe coun-
ty board during the coming term will
interfere with his business.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

they had left, and thus put them in
a position where they would be pro.
tected from further loss
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

The conscientious Wyoming citizen
VINO contends that a man cannot be
Christian and a politician must ad.
NIT that one may be an apostle and
politician.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

That Colorado man appointed to ex-
anime Utah banks is quite sure that
he viii not find any of his money swell
ing the account OF the Smoot commit
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

Apostle Smoot would assure Mormon
Democrats that be will send around
good men TO tell them just how to oper-
ate the voting machines.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

II is quite evident that Americans
will have no fault TO find with the work
OF the voting machines or election
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

Il anyone doubts a Snootite when
he says that his party is sure to win,
b. can prove it by Harry Joseph
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15
Monday, October Is, 1905

Now the campaign orators are all
readv for the large and enthusiastic
audiences.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

Fortunar rely, Apostle Smoot cannot
be convinced that his campaign labors
in Salt Lake are helpful to tbs Amer.
leans
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

Mr.. Hearst Is shocked to near that
has corporation is no better than those
he has been denouneipg.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

IN addition to his announced tour,
Nj Howell viii doubtless take a num-
ber Of side trips 30 the homes of bish-
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

II 1t were possible for Mr.. Bryan
to even secretly enjoy anything Gro.
Yer Cleveland could say, no might be
Pleased bv Growers words against
Hearst
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

Undoubtedly, among the principal
speeches Of the smoot campaign viii
be cne by Brother Roberts for Judge
Powers ....
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-15

Evidently tne idea has been TO cause
the McWhirters to spend all the money
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1906-08-30
A Master of Slano,

Professor Hjalmar Hjorth Boye-
sen Is said to have had remarkable
knowledge of slang. Although he
never wrote in dialect, it was not
from want of familiarity with it.
lie was well up in the hobo talk of
trampdom, he knew something of
the gypsy patter, and from the
pigeon English Of Chinatown to the
thieves slang of the dock rats there
was not slang spoken in New York
OF which he had not basic knowl-
edge. When he was professor in
Cornell university, two Juniors out
driving one day overlook him walk
ing along a country road, near It'll
AGA, IN company with most tat
tered and disreputable tramp. As
the collegians drove slowly bv they
overheard part of the conversation.
10 their great surprise, they discov-
cred that the professor and the
tramp were indulging in a hot and
heavy slanging match, and, from
what they could hear, the tramp was
coming out second best.