Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-11-10

Teacher-Why did the anclents be-
iieve the earth to be hat2 Bright Boy
Cause they didn't have no school
globes to prove 1t was round.
Il, sir" began Bragg "am self.
made man." YES" replied Wise. but
why apologize now? That won't help
matters. philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Madison-How do you like your
new neighbors? Mrs. Dyer don't
know. | haven't tried to borrow any.
thing yet.-Town and County.
Diggs-I understand that Higgins Is
quite II clever tinancier. Bigg>-Well,
he isn't. Why, that man never beat
anybody out of a cent in his life.
"Algy, don't you find married life
more expensive than bachelorhoodT
well, it may be more expensive than a
rigidly single life, but it's cheaper than
courtship."
Senior Partner-There's one thing TO
be said In favor of classical music.
Junior Partner-What is that? Senior
Partner-The Office boy can't whistle it.
Chicago News.
Mrs. Flip have just been talking
to a specialist, and he says my brain
vitality has all gone to my long hair
Do you believe it? Flip-Well, Err
knew 1t had gone Detroit Free Press
Medical Student-What did you op
crate on that man for? Eminent Sur
geon-Five hundred dollars. Medical
STUDENT mean, what did he have?
Eminent Surgeon-Five hundred dol
lars.-Puck.
At the Garage.-Boy-Mr Smith Is
telephoning for his machine. Can YOU
send it to him to-day? Head Man
Don't see how we can. Why, this mat
chine is the only one around here fit to
use Life.
rs there any available substitute for
RUBBER" asked the instructor Of the
class. Yes, SIR" answered Miss De
Muir, one Of the fair goods. IL think
stare or cape is just as good. Chi
cago Tribune.
Green-I cannot understand why De
Short wants a divorce. His wife had
nearly half a million when he married
her. Brownies, and she has every
dollar of 1t yet. That's the trouble
Chicago Daily News,
Yes, I'm going to spend few weeks
at Klosemans summer resort. My
stomach Is all out of order, and | need
rest" well, your stomach will get
a good rest there, too. l know the
place. Chicago Tribune.
81 suppose that some of your battle
scenes are very realistic?' said the
sympathzer Yes" said the bum actor,
II have impersonated Napoleon at
Waterloo several times when real shells
were bursting all about me. kansas
City Times.
Mamma, what are twinsr asked lit
tie Bobby "Oh, l know" chimed in
Dorothy, with all the superiority of an
elder sister Twins is two babies just
the same age; three is triplets, four is
uuadrupeds and five is centipedes. -
Harper's Weekly.
You'll have to fix the poem over be-
fore | can buy it," said the editor
There appears to be something tha
matter with its feet Il would have
YOU understand, sir" said the bard
with dignity, that | am a poet and nod
chiropodist. cleveland Leader.
Tommy, what ancient king was 1t
who played on the fiddle while Rome
was burnlng?" Hector, ma'am." no,
no-not Hector" Then it was Dock"
Duke? What do you mean, TOmmy?'
We'll. then it must a been Nero.
knowed it wuz somebody with d dogs
name"
A reporter of the Paris Matln tried
to purchase a genuine Rockefeller in
teryiew with a check for $1,000 He
failed. The proper way to make an
American millionaire talk Is not to
offer him thousand dollars, but to try
to get thousand dollars away from
/ DlHl.-l uGh-
Il would like pound Of your golf
sausage" she said to the butcher. Golf
sausage? Sorry, madam, but we don't
handle 1t. We have blood sausage,
liyerwurst, ham sausage, and other
kinds, but no golf sausage" "Oh, dear,
I'm so sorry. My husband said ne
much preferred the kind made In links"
Milwaukee Sentinel.
A little girl was out walking with her
aunt one day. The aunt bowed to a
man they were passing. who is he,
Aunt Jennie?" asked the little girl
Mrs. Littlefeld told her that he was
Mr.. Melrose. the village undertaken
"Oh, yes" replied the child quickly. II
remember him. He undertook my
grandmother. "-Harper's Bazaar.