davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

more than merely M amateur. The
architects OF the new Hotel Belmont
in New York provided for the embe!-
lishinent Of its interior by sculpture,
and Mrs. Whitney was commissioned
to execute onl of the most important
groups. She has been at work in her
studio overlooking Bryant park on fig
urcs representing Force" and Ma
ture," which will be used in supporting
the ceiling Of the gallery around the
hotel lobby. But what perhaps gives
most interest to Mrs. Whitney's per-
sonality ut the present time is her gen
erous action in making it possible to
hold Il grand sculpture salon in the
American Fine Arts building, in Fifty
seventh street. New York, headquar-
ters for many art societies. Mrs.
Whitney preached the idea to the dis
tinguished sculptor, Daniel c. French,
and he agreed that it would be a splen-
did thing. but said it would bankrupt
the American Sculpture society, under
whose auspices it was proposed the ex-
hibition should be held.
but wouldn't it be possible II l
guaranteed the expense?" asked Mrs.
Whitney. Mr.. French replied that it
would, and the plan was approved.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

MY good woman said the learned
Judge, you must give an answer in
the fewest possible words of which
you are capable to the plain and sim
pie question whether wien YOU were
crossing the street with the baby on
your arm and the motor car was com
ing down on the right side ana the dog
cart was trying to pass the motor car
you saw the plaintiff between the car
riage and the dogcart or the motor car
and the dogcart Or whether and Wien
you saw him ut all and whether or not
near the carriage. dogcart ana motor
car or either or any two and wil:c.l o:
them respectively or how it was."-u-
lustrated Bits.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

81 You are a hermit, Ell? Well, if
you don't mind. kindly tell me how you
came to adopt such an undercrowded
and commemorative profession
well. you see. my auto broke down
lear here, and rather than endure the
gibes and joshes of the triumphant
farmers of the neiclborhood l took the
machine to pieces, carried them to this
cave and have remained here ever since
trying to put them together again
Looks y trifie Ike rain off to the north
east, doesn't it?'-Woman's Home
Companion.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
The WORDS
Greatest
h .>tzcri*es

@OLLECT!NG m"teorites is AIT
to he an expensive fai. Not
~ many private individuals could
affCr! to Indulge in it, but wit.
q large institution like that Of the
American Museum of Natural History
in New York the proposition of MAIN.
such a collection is attended witt, less
difficulty. Now and then wealthy ,rer-
eOns OF scientific tasteS are PROMPTED
to make gifts OF this sort. Recently
one of the most remarkable m~etcor:tes
yet found became the property OF the
museum through the generosity OF Mrs.
William f. Dodge. This twenty ton
n,eteorite was discovered on the banks
Of the Tualatin river in Clackmas com
ty. Ore. in 1902. 1t is known as the
Willamette meteOrite, and Mrs. Dodge
Is said to have paid for it $4,000. the
largest sum ever given for such a Curl
Osity. 1t will have Il rival at the mt
scum in the shape of the famous Teary
meteOritc. also Il very wonderful spec
linen and Il curiosity which reached it's
present abiding place only after the
expenditure of much labor toward the
accomplishment Of that end. 1t came
all the way from R,lsll,nan island. near
Greenland. where Commander Robert
E. Peary first saw 1t in 1896. Later
he succeeded in getting it on board the
good ship Hope and bringing it to the
United States. 1t weighs thirty-siX
tons and is supposed to have fallen
from the sky and struck the earth in
III land Of the Eskimos many Years
ago. perhaps before the advent OF the
human race upon the planet.
There is equal uncertainty as to
hen the Willamette mctcnrite started
on its Journey from an unknown part
Of the universe ana found its course in
space arrested by our own planet. Rut
it has had an interesting and unusual
history since Il mining %prospector
stumbled upon it about four years ago
and mistook it at first for iron ore. He
kept his discovery secret and tried to
get possession Of the land upon which
the queer mineral lay. Failing in this
and becoming Convinced that his find
was of chief value as Il curiosity. he
set about removing it from its original
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
Humor axa Philosophy
BY DUNCAN n. SMITH
THE ROSY FORECAST.

II billboards only told the truth.
How fine the show would be!
The spotted calf and the giraffe.
The whole for one small fee,
Would easily be. as is claimed,
Worth going miles to see.
The lady dressed in spangles,
Who teeters on her toes
SO very proud before the crowd
And kisses sweetly throws,
Would be the angel that she looks
On paper, l suppose.
The terrible behemoth,
With teeth six inches long,
Who sweats q quart of blood for sport
When he is feeling strong,
Whose mouth is like the mammoth
Would pose before the throng.
And all the other features
That ON the billboards stand
The talking horse, q constant source
OF mirth, would be on hand,
And curios from far and near,
The pick Of every land.
II b~illboards We're in earnest
In what they lightly say,
The three ring show would be, I know.
The wonder of the day.
But they are only human boards
At least they act that way.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
An Apprec;ative Man
Was Mrs. Duzzit's Hubby

81 DECLARE" complained Mrs. Duz-
zit. Il shall certainly have to pun
ish the children"
What have they been up to now?"
asks MIR. Duzzit.
"They have simply upset my sewing
room. Nothing is where it should be.
Needles. spools Of thread, scissors,
darning balls and everything have been
poked away into the most unexpected
orners. l had to search all afternoon
to find a card of buttons. 1t is perfect
~ exasperating!"
MY dear, the children didn't do that.
l did it,"
You! What possessed your"
II thought l vas doing you a kind
ness. After You Strengthened up the
papers and books in my desk SO beau
tifully l thought it was no more than
right that i should return the compli-
ment by putting your sewing room in
similar shape"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

administration. Ills
wife is II of the leaders Of the -Four
Hundred, II when the Grand Duke
Boris Of Russia visited Newport a few
years there vas Il great tempest in
a teapot because Mrs. Fish made some
uncomplimcntary remarks about him.
The incident started Il social war In
the fashionable summer city.
When President Fish was Il college
boy he and onne classmates. who were
visiting at his home. spent Il Saturday
evening ut Il little game of draw poker.
The day following. the entire party he
ing assembled in the Fish family pew
nt church. the rector announced for his
text, And l.p!lraim went out with a
full hand" Onc Of his college friends
thereupon leaned over and whispered
In Young liah's ear. Say. Stuvy. what
a fool Elliraim must have hcen.'
Senator Henry Cabot Lodge. who has
been prominent in the debate on the
railroad rate bill. is an intimate friend
of President Roosevelt. hut the two
men have not been in exact agreement
OH the subject Of this bill. While not
SO ultra conservative on the subject of
controllin" the railroads as Senators
Aldrich and Foraker. he has differed
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

idelt Of the United States. lie a..l :
have had Il cong co.ls.ur r.tiOn of 4. ,
argued with the president that you
were too Old TO he promoted 20 the
rank of ma!icr general. The president
argued that lie had in mind yc.... ian.
and gallant service and the ability and
merit You have always sho-'n as q sol
oier. He wants to promote you. and
I guess the president will VIM"
1t Is Il peculiar position in wh:tt
President ~Stuyvesant Fish of the ILL
nois Central railroad finds himself. AS
q trustee of the Mutual Life Insurance
company he sought to end the Me
Curdy regime and. when successful in
mis-. to prevent control of the iIStitu-
don 10y Standard Oil interests. In so
doing it is said he has endangered his
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
GOOdby. Pork Sasxidxe Time,


Goodby. pork sassidge time, goodby.
Sprinstime Is dimpling In the siiken sky.
spring work may open up now any hour,
With hitching up of traces and the p,ow
to scour.
First hens Is sittin' fer the "early fry"
30 goodby, pork sassidge time, goodby.
Moss on the sunny slopes, green all
around.
Dry on the h!!!sides. frost lef, the
ground:
Honkin' through the sea o sky wild geese
pass;
Cattle. tired Of roughness. pining fer
grass.
Won't be long till seed time: the days test
fly.
30 goodby. pork sassidge time. goodby.
Goodby. pork s;lssidge time. goodbv,
You and nap1acks draw the parting sigh,
But other friends is comin'-dock green's
on the way.
Roastin' ears. Old roastin' ears. he here
some day.
Oh, waterme'ons. peach time. come and
dry my eye!
- GOODS. pork sassidge time. goodbv.
Kansas City Times.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

years ago Frederick was acting as his
brothers private secretary. One day
N 1902 he told his brother he was tired
OF the private secretary business and
thought he would 20 back home and
u for congress too. He did it and
made good.
Mr.. lands is always ready with his
joke. He Is quite thin and slender, and
n day when he was in Il street car
q stout lady entered. The car was we'll
crowded with statesmen homewaru
bound. \ sudden jerk tossed the stout
lady into the lap of the slender lndi-
anian.
Il beg your pardon, sir" replied the
lady In confusion as she staggered to
her feet.
Mr.. Lands arose to give her his seat.
remarking with characteristic alert
ness: II don't blame you. madam. l
know you thought I was only painted
on the seat"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

form has been a warm supporter Of
the plans of the administration.
Senator Lodge is a great whist play
er. Not long ago a friend who enter
tains certain extremely revolutionary
ideas with reference to the game pub
lished a brochure embodying his views
thereon. n copy Of which work he for
warded to the senator.
The author was a little taken back
when, shortly afterward, meeting Mr..
Lodge, he asked the senator what he
thought Of the work and the statesman
replied:
"Blank. l have read the book care
fully. 1t seems to he a very good
game. but not so good a one as WHIST"
Senator Lodge is known as 1.-THE
scholar in politics." He is a vOlumi-
nous author and an orator Of no small
power.
After looking over the upper branch
Of congress from the reserved gallery
Mark Twain was asked what he
thought of the United States senate.
"Oh. l always make it a point not to
criticise my neighbors!" said Mr.. Glenn
II
GLOW does that apply to the senator"
was asked.
"Why. | live in Connecticut and Mr..
Aldrich lives in Rhode Island"
Frederick Lands, who is winning a
reputation as one of the orators of the
present congress-, represents III the
house Of representatives the Eleventh
district of Indiana. His speech on in
surance revelations a few weeks since
won national attention for its b%rilliancy
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
TALENTED MRS. WHITNEY,.
The Daughter of . Vanderbilt Who
Models Scripture.

The Daughter of u Vanderbilt who
Models Sculpture.
Mrs. Harry Payne Whitney Of New
York is a daughter Of the late Corne-
lius Vanderbilt. and as Miss Gertrude
Vanderbilt she was considered by eli
gible bachelors a great catch. both for
her beauty and her financial prospects.
Her debut about Il dozen years ago.
when she was eighteen years of age.
was the leading social event Of that
season. She was wooed by many. in
cludin; foreigners of title. but she
chose as her husband her playmate
from childhood, Harry Payne Whitney.
whose father. the late Secretary Will
liam c. Whitney. had a stately man.
sion on Fifth venue near her own ia
TIERS palatial residence on that street.
Mrs. Whitney is accomplished In
many ways. but as a sculptor she is
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
AN A S

Nine. Schumann-Heink and Her Sue
cess In German Courts.
A curious controversy arose not long
ago MS a result Of the efforts of Nine.
Schumann-Heink, the great contralto
singer. to assemble all her children
about her in the United States. 1t is
unusual for a prima donna to have a
large family of children, but Nine.
Schumann-Heink has nine. aud she
once said. II have a new note in my
voice with each new baby" The ia
nous German contralto liked the Unit
Ell States so much that she decided to
make her home here and take out cit
szenship papers, Some two years ago
her husband. who was IL noted German
music teacher and conductor. died. and
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

people he was a very busy and useful
man. but his influence was far wider
than the bounds Of his parish, for he
showed other ministers and c0ngrega-
tiOns how to make the church Of great
er value to the community. DIR. Rains
ford was born in Dublin. Ireland, in
1850 and came to this country az a
young clergyman in order to benefit
his health. He became very rugged
through devotion to exercise and sports
and until recently looked the perfec-
ton Of physical manhood. He holds
that a church door should hardly ever
be closed.
II was not always SO keen for open
churches" he once confessed, 'but a
our year-old girl settled my mind OH
that point. | was walking with her.
listening to her childish prattle, when
we passed a tightly closed and locked
church.
~ s'rose God has n key to let him
self in,' she remarked. looking thought
fully Mt the barred door, but the PEG
pie have to go to the sexton
II didn't have Il church them" con
tinued the doctor. but made up my
mind that when l did have one the
people would not have to hunt up the
sexton to get ill.,"
Major General John L. Weston takes
Issue with Thomas 4. Edison on the
question Of the proper amount of sleep
for the average individual. Mr.. Edi-
son says five hours sleep and five min
utes for a meal are sufficient and that
the great vice Of Americans ia overeat-
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

or satire ana epl
gam. He was born
In Ohio thirty-fOur
years z and when
he was first elected
to was on
" %twenty-nine and
went by the name
Of the hoy con-
gressman.' He has
a brother. Charles
B. Lands. who is
also Il member Of
the house from, In
diana, and four
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

years In that branch of the service and
succeeded General Eagan as commits
sary general in 1890. But his war rec
ord Is not confined to the department
OF subsistence. He was in the civil
war, enlisting as a boy Of sixteen. and
he won a medal Of honor for cour-
ageous exploits on the battlefield. Aft
esward he fought Indians under Gen
eral Custer. His promotion to be n
major general about six months ago
came as a surprise. One day when he
called at the White House the presi.
dent said to him: "I.o0k here. general;
your case has been up before the pres.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

In May last she married her secretary,
William Rapp. an American. When
the prima donna undertook to bring
her elder SOUS from Germany and to
obtain the estate left by her husband
she encountered difficulties. Her son
were detained on the ground that they
were liable to military service. She
appealed to the American state depart
ment for assistance, urging that. hay
Ing taken steps to become naturalized
here and having married an American.
she was entitled to bring her Sous to
this country with her. The courts Of
SaxOny have now ruled in her favor
on this question and have also award
ed her husbands fortune to her on the
ground that she earned It.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
She COuldn't Draw It.

A school teacher one day, during the
hour for drawing. suggested to her pu-
pills that each draw what he or she
would like to be when grown up
At the end of the lesson one little
girl showed an empty slate.
"Why." said the teacher, isn't there
anything you would like to be when
you grow up?"
"Yes," said the little girl. Il would
like to be married, but I don't know
how to draw it."-New York Life.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
Faithful Soldiers.

Theystand in n row on the bedroom floor,
Those little mimic men;
A drummer brave n filters four
And stalwart soldiers ten,
An indian soldier true to life,
His arrow drawn to a head,
While their captain. worn with the mimic
strife.
Is tucked in his trundle bed.
They have marched all day down the par
lor's length
In their uniform of blue;
They have made parade of the soldiers
strength
To show what soldiers do.
And now they stand with the half drawn
sword
BY their captains bedroom door,
While their painted eyes keep watch and
ward
As he dreams OF the cannon's roar.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

position as head Of
the Illinois Central.
He recently resign
ed as Il trustee of
the Mutual in order
to lead a policy
holders
for reform.
Mr.. Fish is Il son
Of the late Hamil-
ton Fish, secretary
Of state in Grants
06p1tpic<Wn<:op H;.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
HCc Little Scheme.

Tess-I saw Miss Nane on the ave
nue. Yesterday with a lovely new hat.
but she had it cooked over so far TO one
III 1t was almost falling off her head.
Jess-Yes. she told me she pushed it
over thai way just as you came along
so you'd be sure to notice it.-Philadel-
phia Press.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

there would have
been much O
occasion for sorrow.
In the interval be-
tween these years
Or. RainSfOrd has
carried out ideas
that are now prov
ing Of immense val
ne, not only in the
extensive work of
his W parish, but
In hundreds Of 9TH
er churches. As the
rector of q church
ministering to 1000
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

fOn Mf. Roosevelt
as to the provisions
which the bill, to
be passed. should
contain. Mr.. Lodge
has had 4 wide eX-
perience in matters
pertaining to legis-
lation on foreign
affairs, and in the
Dominican treaty
discussion and the
proposals for con-
sular service re.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

ing. General Wes-
toms rule is ''plen-
ty of exercise. plen-
ty to eat md plenty
Of Sleep" He has
had opportunity to
observe the effects
of different systems
Of living, for he
made n study Of the
subject while in the
~colnmissary depart,
ment Of the army.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
Exercise In Permanshin.

"He can write his check for half a
Million"
II never suspected he was worth that
much
1T YOU tried to cash the check q
would continue no. to suspect it,"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

alton by that committee and voted
against reporting the bill to the full
senate. 1t was on his motion that Sem
atOr Tillman Of South Carolina, q
Democrat, was given charge of the bill
reported by the majority of the CON-
mittee. Mr.. Aldrich is very rich. and
his daughter married John d. Rookie
Teller, Jr. Not long ago the senator
and Governor Magoon Of Panama &C.
cupied adjoining apartments Mt a
Washington hotel and had the same
valet. One night Governor Magoon
took some ladies to the theater. AS
one Of the ladies stepped from the car
rage she dropped her fan. Governor
Magoon stopped to pick it up. There
was a horrible tearing sound. The gov
ernor knew what had happened and
excused himself. At the hotel he found
Senator Aldrich mutely gazing at a
pair Of trousers that Tapped around
him.
by George. Magoon," said the sena-
tor. II am glad to see you. DO you
know. that stupid valet has mixed up
our dress trousers? You have on mine.
and l cannot wear yours. They are too
large for me. | trust you have come
back to change. for | An late for my
dinner engagement as it stands"
''Indeed l have come back to change"
said Magoon. Gimme those trousers.
They are mine. AS for these l have on,
you are quite welcome to them"
Senator Allrich shuckel off Ma
goon's trousers. but when he came to
put on his own. which the governor
had been wearing. there was a success
sion of loud eXclamations. He stayed
at the hotel that night. but Magoon
hustled back to the theatcr in his own
trousers.
When the Rev. DR.. William s. Rains
ford resigned the rectorship of st.
Georges church, New York. Il short
time ago on account of i'll health. there
was widespread regret. but it was re-
marked that had his resignation been
rendered in 1886 instead Of in 1905
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

MY good u what are you In
for?' asked the kind Old lady. pausing
before a cell.
Coarse work, num-" replied 1lG4;
got ketched in de same crime twict."
"Was 1t murder or robbery"
Worse. mum - matrimony."- Mil
waukee Sentinel.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

A brief cOurtship is sometimes fol-
lowed by Il short season of matrimony.
He has the finest scorn Of obstacles
who gets others to do the overcoming.
Men who &c about looking for temp
tation can usually stumble across it
without the aid Of a guide.
Cribbing in the civil service eXami-
nations has got many Il man to the
public crib.
Woman is most eloquent when she
talks with her yes and gives her
mouth q rest.
II bread is the staff of life sugar
must be the cane
You feel certain that American hu-
NOR is not dead when you hear some
criminals plead not guilty"
1t is hard to tell whether it is more
exaspernting for Il smoker to have 4
cigar without Il match or Il match with
out a cigar.
The more some people get the less
they are entitled to.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

Conserver of Time.
1.-THE programme was a weak one,
but the professor came in at the right
moment and saved the day"
Saved the weak, you mean"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
Snatehed His Laurels.

Sn3tcheo f7lS IaUfelS.
II suppose the snail holds the record
for de~liberation."
HE used to until that horse I bet
on today tried to run"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
lust In His Mind,

"IIc is a dead game sport"
"Where is his dead game to show
for it:"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
Wrong at Both Ends.

"How old is he anyway"
"Old enough to know better and toe
old to learn"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11
Gossip About
People Of
Prominence

HENATOR MEL
- SON w. AID
RICH of Rhode
island. who is =
member of the SEN
ate committee on
com
merce. acted as
chief spokesman of
the extreme con-
s~ervatives while the
railway rate bill
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-04-11

.OLLECT!NG meteorites is ant
to lie an expensive FAD. Not
many private individuals could
The copper era., 1906-10-11
lion. VI. F. COOPER.
Biographical Sketch of Republican
Candidate.

William Fennimore Cooper. repub-
lican canidate for delegate to con-
gress, is one of the best known and
most highly respected citizens of
Arizona. A resident of the territory
since 1891, having lived in five of the
thlfteen-counties and having always
taken an active interest in both local
and territorial affairs wherever he
has lived, no man can lay to a better
knowledge of prevailing conditions
No One who knows him can question
His integrity, lis Industry, his pefsbi-
cacity, his alertness, his congenial
personality, or any of those neces-
sary attributes which comprise ones
fitness as campaigner or his ability
to-discharge the duties of the high
Office to which he aspires.
IN respect to that question which
is of vital interest to Arizona, the
nefarious project of jointure with
New Mexico, Mr. Cooper's opposition
has been both determined and con-
sistent. He is with his party and
with the great majority of the peO-