Arizona republican., 1906-05-20
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Little James



 (The Presentation of the Matter by Attorney General Moody)
 President Roosyfelt he sez: .'They's Spirret of Revolushun, Onrest and In surreckshun abrOd in tn World 'at threttens the Pesce of tn Roolers thereof an them at sets in High Places. There's tn Rushin Doomy which before it gifts -Organyzed is or derin' Nickles tn For around, tellin' him what hes got to do, an heres tn Amerrycan Doomy callin me a Tyre an offerin' to Prove it by tn Letter at Wilyum Lobe was so Inoiscreet as to write to Senter Chandler when he ort to have asst him to Burn it an not make an Arkives of it. Everything is ITendin toards Arnica with rapid Strides If this thing keeps up Every bodyIl be Boss after while"
 Tn President he sends fer Attorney Generic Moody an he sez: You got 10 git this here Controversy between me an Chandler an Tillman before tn People somehow sos it won't Refleck on me" Mister Moody he sez, It'd be oesy if it wasn't fer that Darned Let ter" Tn President he sez: But it's got to be done anyhow. Ain't you tn Law Ossifer of this here Adminfstra- shun which is me2 You ain't made much of Q Showin' yit. You let tn Beef Trust Brake away fum you an all tn rest tn Trusts has escaped. an 1 cant sees you've earned your Salry. Now you got a Case at is Case an if it don't come out Rite they'll be a noo Attorney Generic an you'll be a Attorney Privit in tn Reer Rank"
 Mister Moody he went back 10 hls offs an he thot fer a Our or an he ha mn qrir1 tn Problem of my Life. It's that there cussed letter. It'd a been a good thing fer this here Administrashun If Pen writin hadn't never been invented an it wuddent a been a bad thing if tn Voc,e Art hadn't never been Discuv- vered. sos at when fokes wanted to say things they'd haf to make Sines.
 "Th' President he's all Rite only he's tn Victum of a Fizzicle Deformity which is sometimes called Conjen- nitle Defeck. He was boTnned with his Mouth so full of teeth at he can't keep his Lips shet down tite so to prevent his Thots escapin' on Runnin' Riot.
 But them things is all bygons an can't be helped. It's up to me to take things as I find 'em an git up some kind of Defense. I can't never prove at Tillman is a Tyre with all that Dockumentary Evidence behint him but some how I got to prove at Pres dent Rooseyfelt was in tn Rite any how. This job Tackses my Legle Abfl- ity an it's got to be done Quick fer tn Whole Country's waitin'."
 Mister Moody he sends word to Pres dent Rooseyfelt to don't say nothin' more 'at'll increase tn Difficulties Of tn Task an he advises him 10 git In his Watch May Flour an go out to see where he can't git into Communica- shun with Nobody sos to Ball up things worsern they is now.
 Mister Moody he finely gifts up Breef which shows at President Rooseyfelt has pursood tn Nacherle an Proper Coarse. Tn Breef sez: 9Th President possesses tn Di- vine Rite to say an do what he P7eeses He can't be Gided by tn Rools which Reggylates tn Conduck of Ordinary Mortles. Becose he Prommises a thing today ain't no Sine at a man of his Impu,sif Disposishun has got to stay with it tomorrow. This EffecKshalIy disposes of tn charge at he Throde tn Rate Bill"
 As to tn charge at he Lide to tn Democrats tn Breef goes on to say: While We don't admit tn trooth of this here Accysashun. tn Democrats can't be heerd to Complane Tn Pres dent had been Asochiatfn' with 'em, fer nearly three months an if they've been injured by any Ontroothfle State ments he's made they're to Blame fer Inculcatin' them there Habits into him. Moreover it ain't no Crime to lie | to a Democrat no how. It's meerly conversin' with him in his Natif Tung. We ast fer Judgment fer President Rooseyfelt."
 LITTLE JAMES.