Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-06-02
CLERKS NOT ALARMED
''Importunate and Hungry Beg
CARS" Remain Calm.
THAT SENATORIAL ScREEcH
Prerogative and Privileges of the
"Higher-Up" Outfit.
Jump ON THE MAN WHO Is DOWN
Rubes and zekes Cackle and Chortle
Over LAUNDERING Deliverances of
Representatives Here.
JUMP ON THE MAN WHO Is DOWN

4
Representatives Here
To all government clerks: Now WIN you
be Eood7
What NOT Even after a senator of the
| United States gets up on his two legs as
one OF them did the other day, and calls
you IAN organized horde OF importunate
/ and hungry beggars7''
| Well. well. the idee Of refusing to be
docile after that--the very ideel
| However, 1t is mournful to be compelled
| to record the fact that there are many OF
the importunate and hungry beggars who
have calmly declined to permit themselves
| to be cut to ribbons by the senator per-
/ sons quirt. They have resoluteiy refused
| to work themselves into a foam over the
| toga-wearer's crushing deliveranee They
have jes' laffed, in fact-the humble writ
err hereof has caught several of them In
| the very sacrilegious article of mirthful
| enjoyment over it, These were the vete-
rams the members of the departmental pre-
torian guard to whom such screaming cat
apults are stale, oft-repeated incidents.
| some of the younger and newer folk en-
/ ployed in the somber gray buildings TOOK
| the senator persons dart to heart, and
| felt quite keenly mortified, not to say dis
| gusted, over it. But the veteran legiona-
| ries of the departmental horde, the seas
oned and indomitable old boys who nave
| been used to this caloric atmosphere and
| this superheated steam Kissing from the
| Capitol vents for twenty or thirty years
they grin most cheerily.
| Listen to one of them. He's an Emporium
| ate and hungry beggar who hasn't missed
| day from his desk. except when he was
| entitled by law to be away, for twenty
I six years.
Fine specimen of the muck-rake propo-
sition as operated from above" was the
| old-timers comment on the senatorial
| screech THAT, by the way, Is one of the
cardinal principles of the higher up out
/ ft-Its our prerogative and our privilege,
| they say, in essence, to stir up all the muck
| that we want to with our little ivory-han-
| died and gold-mounted rakes, because we
! are US, and we can get away with it, and
| it's your business to stand for It, But
don't you care to hand US any comeback
| In the undertaking business. II you DO
| we'll start something in the way of the
| raw head and bloody bones business thati
| make you wish you had died of the mumps
| when you were eight years OF age.
Sardonic, Half-Tone Maxim.
In the United States navy, in which
served during the civil war. there Is. or
was, a sort Of sardonic, half-true maxim
which incites one biueJacket to say to the
other, ITO h. with you Jack; I'm ali
| right
"They may not have adopted this phrase
| in so many words UP yonder at the Cap
| itol. but they've got the idea all right.
| They all seemed to have adopted, in their
| attitude toward US importunate and hungry
beggars, couple of other modern aphor-
| isms.
'..Hit him again-he amt got no friends
| is one of them, and Never hit man when
he is down-jump on him. is the other
After watching the game for more than
/ a quarter of a century, / have at length
/ discovered the kind of mental dope that &C
| tuates the average national legislator when
he rises in hts place and exudes his squeaky
! thunders at the departmental clerks of
| Washington.
Take for example, any representative
| in the lower house of deestric', the cleo
| torate of which, Wen say, is made up
| chiefly of hanky-pank haymakers, who
| drive thirty miles to circus in springless
| wagons. AS election time draws nigh, such
| representative viii muse something in
| this fashion:
/ s..Here, I've got to get busy. 1 must
| start something. Got to get something
| whopping in the Record and have my secre-
| tary send out ten or fifteen thousand copies.
| Let's see, what can tackle that'u make
| hit with the bunch back home? Immigra-
| ton question? Nope, that won't do. Lot
| of immigrants moving into my district late
! ly, and / can't afford to take chance on
| losing em I'll have need to swing 'em
! a little later on. Tariff? No. that won't
| DO, elLner. want TO KNOW where the Dig
| fellows stand before 7 go on record as to
| that. Don't want to get myself messed up
on that question before know which way
the cats going to Jump. Free seeds? I'm
going to let that little matter alone, that's
what I'm going to do. Too many fellows
| in my district who believe in free seeds.
| and too many dont-guess I'll keep right
on side stepping that one. Um. Got to get
4 Into the Record, and get In big, somehow
| or another. though. Let me think. By
fish hooks, I've got 1t! Those departmental
| bupns That's the answer! I'll take
| large walIop out of theml No chance In
| the world for them to frame up a come
| backi They don't dare spunk up for fear
! of their jobs, and they better not get
| chesty, that's all! Bully idea! I'll get
to work right away on whopping whack
! at those departmental parasites and barna-
cles and mollusks-not SO bad, by the way,
parasites and barnacles and mollusks,"
and must remember to use those words In
| my speech-and IL can't get permission 10
work 1t all off on the floor, why, I can get
| leave to print and itll make all kinds Of
| a hit with the boys back home. Well, /
| guess I'm not there when 1t comes to meet
4 ing one of these emergencies
Sits Down and Studies.
Then he sits down and studies out a few
new twists In the speech he's going to make
about us departmental buns, taking pains
| to chuck In picture of the dead soft thing
/ We have Of 1t In the matter of working
HOURS anu colhpdtihs Inns shapShy with
4 the sun-up to shutdown game that the
| horny handed tiller of the soil has OF 1t In
| cajoling crops out of the ground Fine
| The Rubes and Zekes get the copy Of his
| speech by rural free delivery in due time
and they cackle and chortle over those
laundering deliverances. and they sit
around the stove at the crossroads store
Within and spittin' at a mark, and they
allow, b'gosh. that something ought to be
done to git more work out of US lazy
mits in the Washington departments, and
/ they reckon, by hockey. that their. congress
man is pretty smart Teller to find out all
! these facts about them overpaid govern
ment drones and lay the facts before the
4 country-and there you aret The legisla-
| tor has made his hit and helped to pave the
| way for his reelection. He may and prob
ably does know that about 80 per cent
| of his utteranees or the subject of the gov
er,,noapf cIarlfs IN, r,lJrss