The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-06-01
1906 Pretty sod.
sHIsIsa RieHT#To Talk AsouT:
oEDEN DAYS BUTTE
PREsENTsARE Better

7Ea[gO1c6S IKE sIne fdI1loS3 Oh 4AsSa 49,
IN winter swamp tries TO nudge me
into corner for tAe purpose OF tell
Sing me how zach better the good old
tines were than the times we'er having
now and lately He endeavors to
drive II into me that all OF the TO
nance has been weeded out Of life
anu he says that nowadays we'er
nothing But a bunch OF automatons or
smarionettes. who hop to the front or
rear or sidestep according as We are
yanked about by the strings. He at
tempts to wheedle me into believing
shat the mechanical age IN which we
Give conduces to the estinSuishment
and sque1chment OF what he calls the
natural life
\. Just look. for instance he says.
eatwhat a fine. bold, free. untrammeled
Ute Richard I. of England Leland
ssthensshe gaxes at me real critically
ana tells me that 4 am not one bit
ike Richard /. of England When he
tells me thatI buy him a drink and
cigar and press his hand warmly and
gratefully. i am so glad that I'm not
IKE Richard L Of England
I've may be some shy on romance
and atmosphere and the high minstrel
sssys of harps and things like those. but
when we desire to take swab. all
we've got to do is to nudge out to the
tiled room with a couple OF crash
towels and the scented soap, turn 90
athe hot or cold spisot. or both. and
there we are The less said about
the facilities in this respect at the
command Of the fox-souled Lion
Heart Of Godfrey de Bouillon the bet
ster-ft,s no cinch that they'd have
stood for the installation of porcelain
tubs In their plants. even If those
things Were available.
st..eIf my wife's down town making
"a raid on the shirt waists marked
down from 4s cents and I want to
Try an egg wherewith to :regale me
at 1unch-an I've got to do after
mailing the dig for the egg is to
twist around one OF the keys Of the
gas range. flop the egg into the pan.
and, half minute later. there am
The duck who lived in the good old
times would have had to what-ho for
"a varlet or, vassa1 to do the job for
him; II he pulled enough OF wire
! to have var1ets and vassals on his
zstef, or else he'd have had to hustle
out and get about two tons Of stone
Into white hot condition before
he'd have been able to cook his egg.
when want to read the baseball
dope and it's too dark for reading all
I've got to do is to touch the button
IN the hall, and there's the i1luni-
nation When Charles the Fat or
one OF those somebodies received a
def from a neighboring ruler that
he wanted to read after nightfall he
had to chase some low churl into the
dark to hustle for rushlight. and
then the light would be SO poor
that the man trying to read by it
wouldn't be able to see anything but
the shiniest kind OF money.
when I want to take ride on
the, placid bosom of the nearby
stream all I've got to do is to cough
up my two bits. climb over the gang
way and the smudGe-faced fellows
down below do the rest When
cleopatra desired to take the air on
Srhe water the boats crew OF barge
slaves had to be herded together and
mustered after a long delay and
when they bent to the oars and cuss-
ed between their teeth the best they
could get out of the tub was abou,
four and two.ffth Knots per hour
When banker TO inform some
dub about. 5000 miles away that he
won't do, and that l hereby scratch
him from my little list. all I've got
to do is TO slide into the nearest tele-
graph Office hand over about So
cents IN loose metal and inside of
San hour or SO the man at the other
I end of the line is fully aware of the
fact that l have passed him up.
Whenever CharlemaEne had a hunch
I to ten some caitif knight only about
10 miles away that he believed he
could use his head. detached from
5sthe rest OF his frame. in his business.
she had to fit out an expedition OF
several thousand archers and men
alarms and stifs Of that character.
and undertake the job in the middle
: of the night, as like as not.
Iauncelot may have been a warm
card with all OF his ironwork shrouJ-
ing. but II 1t could be arranged so
that modern buck soldier In a soiled