The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-01
WISE GUY TALKS Of
HIS FRIEND HANSON
Advises Willard as to How He
Should Act in Cam
paign.
INTRODUCES THE ASSISTANT
TO HIS FRIEND BOGAN
Great Democratic Leader Reads
the Riot Act to ParIey's
Deputy.

This thing o groomin' candidate
1or a political race amt what il IS
cracked up TO be, !" said the Wise GUY.
One day you II find him a-sulkin' and
a-balkln and refusin' to take hold o.
the bit and the next he III be a-prancin
and cavortin and fightin' apjn all re-
stralnI and discipline. It's that way
with Willard; Just when you think
you We got him safely corrailed where
ne ne can t do himself no harm, he II Jump
the fence and go gallivantin' over tho
hurdles maxim blamed fool o. him
sell. For instance, he promised me
yesterday, on his Scandinavian word
OF honor, that he d cut out q little q,
that ridiculous haughtiness that gives
everybody pain and mix and Ininple
with the hoi pcloi, A-fggerin' that
be have sense enough, as a candidate,
TO foIler these Instructions O mine, |
ups and introduces Wolf Began, the
great Democratic leader. you gents
says ], 'a-havin so many interests in
common, ought TO know each other.
Your a-standin' side by side and
shoulder to shoulder, says I, with tho
laudible ambition o reducin' the Amer
lean party TO pulp. Therefore, saws
/, come veal, come woe, says I (Oh,
you can gamble your uncle Wisey is
no slouch on them introduction
oPoeehe'(' oinh VI sWlui, says !, sur
rlve or perish, says I, 1T g up to you
gents to git together and stay together
till the sun goes down on election day.
Struggling for Same End.
EThey's a great work ahead o. you.
You re brothers a-strugglin to attain
the same great end. Bein' without polit-
ical principles, RepubIicanism and
Democracy don't mean nothin' to
neither one o. you and you amt neither
one hampered by no conscientious
scruples agin' grabbin everything that
comes a-hoatin' your way So, git
together, gents, clasp hands and 90
forth TO do or die.
AT the conclusion o. them remarks,
which war'nt SO bad, if l do say it
myself, the Wolf be grabbed Willard
by the right nit and hung on like
bull pup to root, He fell on my can
didate S neck and blow me il don II
think he d a-kissed him if Willard had
a-stood for it. But, instead of mixin
and minglin' as I had instructed him
to, the bloomin' chump hung back like
q whipped child asultin' behind the
door, I was ashamed of him. The
Wolf held on to Willard s picked pigs
foot hand for minute and then let
go and put his own NIT in his pocket
to restore the circulation. Then he
backed off about three lineal feet and
a-fastenin' q pityin' sort O gaze on
Willard, he proceeded to trim him up
as folers, towit
Hanson Did Not Enthuse.
$50, you don't seem to enthuse
over the idea of sich a coalition as
your manager suggests, Well and good.
The day is a-comin' when you will
come a beggin' the Wolf for help.
say TO you that 1 hold the balance O.
h, II.
the palm o. my hand. With that kind
of follerin' I'm entitled to big CON
sideration before and after all conven-
tions. What have you to offset nv
power in local politics7 Savin' and
barrin' Wisey here and the CHASTITY
remains of ole Farley P. you aipt got
no follerin' at all. What are you a.
gettin SO alfred chesty about, any
way7 You don't draw no water in
this fight. You amt even good with
Joseph F.. for I seen him only an hour
ago a-hirtin' with Ashby Snow, and,
if you know anything, you certainly
know what that means. 1t won't do,
Mistah Hanson; this peacockin' busi'
ness aint agoin' to git you anything.
From my pint o vantage, alookin over
the political situation, I'd be willin'
to stake my reputation as a phophet
that, along about Jan. Is, 1907, YOU III
be a.workin' on the section gang at
Ephraim, San Pete county, this State
With which witnerIn' remarks the Wolf
turned on his heel and disappeared into
Franklin avenue, where he had a date
with Bad.eye Jackson.
tParley p. has give it out that he is
a-goin to instruct the Sheriff to serve
that warrant on Joseph f. 1 aint n
and maybe he won t, That's all you II
get out o. me on that proposition
wot somewhat o. Parley's vaecillatin
natur. If he knew himself what he
wanted to do we might get line on
him. but he don 7, so its all guess work.
blowed myself today for scent
essay on Man, Know Thyself,' and
I'm a-goin TO poke it into Parley's
stockin' this comm Christmas. Duck,
now. I've told it all,
Large and small ut Desky's.