The daily Alaskan., 1906-05-11
The Reforrnist

! tormIst he could not fix by exact date. He had always had a fellow feeling for his fellow men and had always wished them to walk in straight paths, but he had arrived at middle age be- fore this feeling began to lie heavily on his mind. When he started out in the reforming business there were peo- pie who called 1t a fad and referred to him as daffy, but no matter how good the cause there are people who will al- ways speak i'll of 1t.
 Nickelby's family went to the coun- try, and he occupied the house O nights. One night at midnight he was awakened from his sound sleep by Q hand being laid on his shoulder. He opened bis eyes to see a stranger hov- erlng over him.
 "AIr. Nickelby," said the man, T am burglar. I have called to talk with you. have taken the liberty of pre- pairing a little lunch downstairs, and should like to have you join me"
 "This seems to be a gigantic piece of cheek" replied the reformist as he got slowly out of bed. "If I'd had one min ute's notice I'd have been ready to send a bullet into you"
 That's human inconsistency. For years you have been wanting to have free, frank chat with a burglar and convince him of the error of his ways and bring about a reformation. l come at last, and you are sorry that you did not meet me with a bullet"
 "But you have broken into my housew
 "But that is a part of my business. Having broken into your house as have you cannot doubt that am what l claim to be. Let us now go down to the lunch"
 Mir. Nickelby didn't like 1t at all. He wanted all burglars to reform, but he wanted It done by programme. The lunch didn't amount to much. Aside from four ham sandwiches brought In by the burglar himself there were bottle of wine taken from the cellar and a supply of cigars. The burglar motioned his host to a seat at the head of the table, passed him a sandwich and a glass of wine and then cOurtc- ously said:
 "Now go ahead and ask me any questions you will. It will be the first time I have ever submitted to an in terview."
 "This house is defended by a burglar alarm, and I don't see how you en- tered It." replied the reformist, who couldn't get over bis feelings In the matter.
 Easy as pie, my dear sir. I had only to cut the wire outside the house. Do you wish to know why became a burglar?"
 You can state the case If you wish, but tomorrow I'll raise hob with the police for not spotting you off before you got in here"
 Don't do 1t. Statistics will show that there are just as many burglaries now as before q policeman was invent ed. You would only be throwing your time away. At thirty years old was a minister of Q congregation in a coun- try town. My salary was S2OO a year and was behind half the time. made the change in order to make a living. I have made an average of 5000 year as against you. Have you any criticisms to make? Have you any thing as good to offer me if will re form"
 You'd get at least five years If ar rested for breaking in here" sulkily replied the reformist.
 "Not Q doubt of it, but shan't be arrested. If I promise to mend my ways cnn you get me job of driving an ice wagon at So per week?"
 .'You ought to reform because It Is wrong to be criminal"
 "Oh, had I? l ought to walk the streets looking for a job because l want to be an honest man. How about every alderman in town? How about every merchant? How about the tens of thousands of men who are cheating and swindllng and robbing every day? Go to a man who sells coffee. 1t is 50 per cent adulteration. Will he stop be- cause you say 1t Is wrong?
 ''But you are burglar"
 Tt Is a distinction without a differ ence. Instead of robbing the city l rob one residence. Instead of mixing half cotton with my wool use false keys to enter a dwelling. You are in the cloth business. There are more tricks in your trade than in mine. Are you willing to reformT' ...
 If you had come to me and said you wanted to reform should have stood ready to-to'-
 "Yes; go on. You would have stood ready to give me dollar and your best advice, and within a week would have been a starving man. It won't do, old fellow. It's all sawdust. We are all out for the dough, including your self, and none of us is going to give up good thing for the sake of free soup and a bed under a stairway. Cut 1t out and save your wind. Now, then, l have packed up a bundle in the hall. It -sF1H %VT-R