Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-08-21
HOBO TELLS HIS OWN STORY.
Funeral Jim on the Joys of the simpl.
Life.


Funeral Jim, with three Of his
"buddies." was hanging around the
freight yard waiting for the psyche
logical moment for climbing into an
outgoing freight.
Just then along came a reporter for
the Washington Times and, being of
an evidently beguiling temperament,
he soon had Funeral Jim handing out
the story Of his life, interesting as be-
ing a specimen page in the unwrit-
ten literature Of hobodom.
MY dad was Methodist minister"
began Funeral Jim, land he had 1t
figured out that l was walking in his
footsteps.
"The minister proposition didn't
sound very good to me until the old
gent began to talk missionary stuff
swell tales about converting the Chi
nese, Africans. &c. / didn't care a
whole lot about the converting part,
but the talk of the foreign lands got
me up in the air. and / agreed. When
was 16 / was bundled of to board
ing school to prepare for a theologi-
the price on account of being a minis
ter, and me waiting on table and
doing other little stunts which kept
down the expenses. I never did like
work, and It didn't take me very long
to find out that a trip to China, In
my mind, was not worth the work I
was doing to get 1t.
II wrote home to the old gent ask
ing him to let me quit. Nothing do
ing. Then made up my mind to
beat 1t as soon as I could. I found
another kid that felt the same way
I did, and we determined to hike to-
gether. New York was to be our
get off place, but we couldn't get the
money and had to wait.
Vacation time finally came, and
when we got some money for our
railroad fare home we bought tickets
for the big town instead. I've never
seen my dad since. We wrote to
him once, and he answered me tell
ing me to go to -. only, Of course,
he did IL in minister's language, with
out any profanity.
"Well, we struck the best town In
the world about o'clock in the even
ing, and inside Of three hours we
were broke. We were down in the
Bowery about 10 o'clock when up
comes a bum that looked-well, he
looked worse than do now, and I've
been hitting side door Pullmans for
three days straight. He comes up to
us and braces us for a couple Of PEN
MES to help toward getting q bed for
the night. We told him that we were
hunting the same thing, and we got
to talking
I'VE pushes wind at each other for
a few minutes. him sizing us up all
the time, and finally he tells us to
come with him. We goes, and he
leads US a few blocks, half way
through an alley. up three flights Of
stairs into a room crowded with men
that we finds out later is the cream
Of hobo society. There was one man,
a great big buck with lot of fingers
chewed off his left hand, who seemed
to be the leader, and our guide
goes up 20 him and they talks us
over for about ten minutes.
Then the big boy, who was Frisco
Slim (now doing little turn in the
penitentiary), comes up to us, and,
after questioning us, lets off bunch
of loose talk about how we can make
plenty of money without doing any
work IL we just followed his instruc-
tions. That sounded good to us, so
we joins the gang, and me, on account
of my solemn lookin' AZ, gets nick
named Funeral Jim, which has stuck
ever since.
"The next morning Frisco takes
Fatty Ben, the guy that run away
with me, fixes his right arm in a sling,
and wraps his head up in some old
bloody bandages. Then comes my
turn and he fixes me up good and
proper. He started to work on my
feet, and after having me take off
one Of my shoes, padded the sole with
1t on again / walks like a kid that's
crippled for life. Then he gets some
chemical dope and starts to work on
face and right arm.
Say, II Frisco had ever had a
chance to study art in Paris he'd "a
made good, all sky, for the way he
painted sores and burns on me was
something slick. Well, finally he had
us fixed up to his satisfaction, and
then he sends us out to beg. We goes
and when we comes back that night
Fatty had $11 and I had $14. Frisco
. took the money put 1t with that which
the rest had collected, and after taxi
ing out his share and a big hunk for
the reserve fund, kept to pay fines and
get the members out Of trouble, di-
videh the rest up between the men.
My share was something over SO.
I'VE stayed with Frisco until the
bulls got wise and copped the bunch.
Frisco got juggel, and those that
got off all scattered except Fatty, my
self and those three that are with me
now. We decided to cut out the
grating and confine our work to le-
gitimate begging. 1t isn't so danger
Gus.
LAS 1t is now, we goes over the
country seeing all sorts Of things,
living high, and don't have to do
any work OF course, now and then
we gets pulled off freight and have
to spend five or ten days in the work.
house of some little town, but that's
only when things gets going 80 good
that we get careless Besides, time
amt no object with us, and sometimes,
in the winter, we're mighty glad to
Il get caught. In the summer, when II
comes to solid comfort, we've got you
folks skinned to death. Houses Is
close together, we have ways OF know
ing what's doing inside, there's plenty
of fruit for the picking, and when we
get tired, why there's hay pile handy
where you can roll up and sleep as
long as you please. II we gets tired