The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-05-12
HAT REFUSES TO COME Off
Plump Woman at tho Play Has 4
Hard Time of It During
Performance.

She was pretty, but rather un.
duly plump, yet no one would have
dared to tell her so, or even to
study her generous figure too crit
ically, for she was also middle
aged and dignified and sufficiently
self-poised to come to the theater
alone at night, relates the Phila.
delphia Record. Her seat, in the
middle of the row, was the only
one left vacant when she came
down the aisle, and people sitting
there viewed her with some anx-
iety when they observed her ample
size.
She managed, however, to
squeeze through without doing
too much walking on other peo-
ple's feet, and despite the impedi-
ments of a fan, an umbrella, an
operas glass bag, a programme and
a pair of gloves. When she sank
into her seat her sigh of relief was
echoed by all the people whom she
had passed, and the men in the
seat on each side of her promptly
took their elbows off the chair
arms to give her all the room pos
sible for the welding of her fan.
When the curtain had gone up
without her having removed her
hat a man Immediately behind her
leaned over and asked her if she
minded taking it off. Without
turning or replying she put both
arms up and began to tug at hat
pin. Slowly some of the things OF
her lap began to slide off and the
opera-glass bag with its contents
reached the floor before she made
a grab for them. 1t was clearly Inn.
possible for her to sto0p over
straight in front Of her. The men
at each side, each desiring to get
the bag, went through a little pan
tomime of the CASTOR and Al
phonse variety with each other
and then at the same instant
made a dive for the glasses. Their
heads came together in a resound-
ing whach just above the large
lady's knees, but one of them arose
with the glasses in his band and
gave them to her.
Then she punched all her things
in a wad on her lap and started to
work on the refractory hat pin
again. 1t baked at first, but final
ly came with such a rush that her
elbow went fairly and squarely
into the eye of the man on her
right. She put the pin in her
mouth with the point toward the
man on her left side and then her
neighbors at sides and rear saw.
with rising perturbation, that
there were at least two hat pins
still to come.
The man behind leaned over and
said: "Pray don't trouble your
self further, madam. It's of nc
consequence. / can see very well
as it is"
The man on her left lodged wild
ly for fear she would turn her
head in his direction with the long
pin in her mouth pointed toward
him. But she did not turn. She
went at the hat pin again. Things
slid off her lap, but neither of tht
men at her side dared to reach for
them. She tugged and tugged
and the man behind her begged hei
again to leave the hat where il
was. She paid no attention, how
ever, and at last the head cover
ing came off. She was flushed and
hot and her hair was blousled and
tousled and her queenlike dignity
was no longer in evidence. Ths
stage villain meanwhile had laid
bare his prospective criminalit,
and the curtain went down on the
first act without anyone in the vi
cinity having known what the
play was all about.