Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1906-04-27
Brief News Items.
Compiled for TASTY Read
ers of the IntelligenCer,
the Acknowledged Off
cial Organ of Little rIon-
tour County.

tour County.
Onions are said to cure consump-
ton.
How about Fourth of July cele-
bration?
Better hold on to your fiannels fer
awhile yet.
Printing of all kinds at the Inteli-
gencer office.
Time to begin preparations for
Memorial Day.
You can't take money apart to see
how it is made.
Spring is known by her base ball
bulletin boards.
Some men expect medals for simply
doing their duty.
Arbutus lovers are after this beau
tiful wild flower.
A man is sometimes known by the
enemies he makes.
Silence may be golden, but a lot of
talk savors of brass.
A horse usually acts up when you
are trying to sell him.
The Intelligencer is the greatest
local weekly county paper.
Still the cry is a scarcity of houses
for rent at moderate prices.
Scientists say the seventeen-year
locusts will appear this year.
Frogs lay hundreds of eggs in a day
but they never cackle over it.
The sweetest story ever. told" is
81 forgot to buy that candy"
The lakes and streams are well fill
ed on account of the late rains.
Read the advertisements carefully
and buy where you are invited.
A man who worries about the short
coniings Of others needs watching.
The S7th anniversary of Odd Eel
lowship in America on April 10Th.
Laugh at your troubles and they
will seem to be ashamed of themselves.
Some people are chronic invalids
from choice and some from necessity.
Forty-one years ago, April 9th,
Lee surrendered to Grant at Appoma-
toX.
A genuine loafer finds great deal
of sati sfaction in bothering the busy
man.
A man becomes a better citizen of
a town the day he owns u home of his
own.
) Lots of men, would sacrifice prin-
ciple to success and consider it dirt
cheap.
The woman who is always cleaning
house cant kick if her husband joins
a club.
Some people believe everything
they hear and take the rest for
granted.
Hervey Kase, of Philadelphia, is
visiting his sister, Miss Clara, on
Market street.
We have not, as yet, heard from
Harry M. Saunders, in San Francisco
formerly of this city.
A boy is often too sick to go to
school, but never sick enough to stay
home from the circus.
Who will fill long-felt want by
spraying fruit and ornamental trees in
Danville and vicinity.
Clean your premises, rake the lawn,
repair your sidewalks, and you will
find that it is catching.
The secret of perpetual youth is to
look younger than you are and act
younger than you look.
You. cannot catch the same rat
twice in the same trap, but you can a
man. This is no compliment to the
man.
This game of building the biggest
warship, which the nations are play
ing, is a pretty expensive amuse
ment.
Talk about the trusts They re
bad enough to be sure, but the tyr
rany of fashion is the great oppressor
of the age.
A man was sent to the asylum re-
Gently because he wanted the moon.
The people who want the earth are
still outside.
There is plenty of evidence seen
daily between the teeth of minors to
prove that the cigarette law is still be-
ing violated.
Don't buy a lot of things you do
not need, merely because the agents s
tongue is hung in the middle and
loose at both ends.
Superior workmanship, the newest
type faces, the best paper and neatest
presswork, are cardinal features of the
Intelligencer jobbing department.
Mark Twain got IA kiss every tim,
he wrote his autograph for the Vassai
girls the other day, and the last hearo
of the old man, he was sending out
for more pens.