The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1906-04-06
TALES AND ENDS.
BY ALLEN PAYNE.
wR1rrEN FOR THE MIDLAND JOURNAL.

WRITTEN FOR THE MIDLAND JOURNAL.
shiftless fellow seldom stays on the right
track.
Dancing folks are fast forgetting the old fash
toned hoe down. They should have it once IN
while If for only rake of.
Wherever there's waah there's soap.
Alter marrying divorced woman. many a man
has found 1t better If he had kept off the grass.
Graft today is the investigation of tomorrow
If you don't believe your own lies. don't read
novels. They are other peoples.
The span of life is Oft times the weakest part OF
he bridge.
Even the bug house can sometimes put bug in
your ear.
When society woman has every hour filled it
Is either a case of Incidence or too much money
Getting mashed on girl makes fellows purse
fall fat.
Some folks are never at rest unless they busy.
You never know what the itch is until you hive
with 1t.
Eyen tin so dier can be shining mark.
It's hard to keep a stiff upper lip when one gets
down in the mouth.
Anvil things come to the shoemaker.
double standard of morals is two much for
most married men.
Orange blossoms in the hair OF the bride some
times turn out to be twigs from lemon tree.
Even block head can feel spruce.
1fsour character is spotless no ewill get the
dots on you.
Even where there is means there is Oft times
bad Intentions
If you show off in this world you will be circus
for the rest of the folks.
The man who wants the whole hog often winds
up with nothing but the whole.
All the worlds stage but most of the fools are
N the audience.
lots of husbands are foolsfor drinking to excess
Then what would You call the wife who fills the
empty bottles fool of catsup?
'Tisnt always the lightheaded girl that's gddy
plate of ice cream will create warm spot in
the opinions of girl.
CONNECTIONS usually win girls affections
If there ever is time when women get dear to
their husbands itswh a new bonnet is wanted.
stained complexion often causes a stain on
the character.
Many an artist is art-full.
1t doesn't take an emotional actress to see part
of her audience in tiers.
IT'S improper for girl to faint unless there is a
man around.
The keeping of the family lot in the cemetery
in perfect order is looked upon by some people
as grave matter.
The owner of a merry-go-round works it for a
lively.hood
The man who catches hold of good thing
makes it bad for those who didn't.
Girls when bathing should wear duck suit.
1t used to take the Cinnamon to drive people to
the walk
The man who works in mint has little use for
cloves.
The woman with the loud voice doesn't always
have the hollow cheek.
The trust in the Lord is the only trust of any
account now days.
The temper should be taken out of some of the
steel Magnets
Often the man who is flushed with money is
also flasked.
It's the pull some men have that pushes them
up on politics.
The chicken is glad when there is no place to
lay its head.
The man who doesn't care, will care some day
because he doesn't.
When lot of women get together it isn't
always the wheels in their heads that create the
buzzing
The man who neck-glects his business usually
gets it right there
Even a butchers wife can be dressed fit to kill
'Tisnt only the man that monkeys with buzz
saw that makes a monkey of himself
A man who banks his reputation at a gambling
table usually hasn't penny on deposit
Has Mr.. Loudenlimburger any money!"
mot scent TO his name. sir
l guess the steel magnets will be the mex
centre of attraction.
It's poor bell sheep who hasn't money to
jingle
Victims OF the osler theory would be dead easy
The cup that cheers starts with wriggle worms
and ends with snakes.
Glass blowers should be able to live in glass
houses, else blow about it.
Some folks think that money spent for tobacco
may as we'll be burnt. What's the difference
There will be smoke eitherway.
All property in the hands of real estate men
the business are failures.
DRAMA IN 1865.