davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Young Equerry's Adroitness.


Senator Beveridge, in conversation
with a group of young disciples, de-
sired to illustrate the quality of
adroitness.
BY means of adroitness,'' he said,
"a young equerry of the Caliph Caid
sprang in one bound to the important
post of keeper of the privy purse.
The oaliph sat on a divan, drinking
coffee and smoking a narghile, and
his oouitiers surrounded him.
Suddenly, with a queer frown, he
said.
Whom do you regard as the great
er man, my father or me?'
THE yizier, the cadi and the white
bearded councillors were silent, puz-
zled, unable to think of an answer
that would not imperil their places,
and even their heads.
But the adroit young eQuerry
stepped easily into the breach.
What was the question, sire?' he
asked.
(which is the greater man, my ia
Their or To- repeated the caliph.
Your father, SIRE the equerry an
swered; for, though you are your IA
TIERS equal in all other respects, he
is your superior in this-he had a
greater son than any you have. Mil
waukee Sentinel.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Drawing the Line.

We have followed the pillow, welded
the hoe, served time on the public
roads under an austere Overseer,
swept the backyard, worked the gar
den, churned the butter, washed the
dishes, nursed the baby and performed
other various and sundry disagreeabler
tasks in our times without a murmur.
but when it comes to cleaning streets.
under three lady bosses-excuse us,
please Three women to boss you
Great Caesars ghost, Just the,
thoughts of such catastrophe is
enough to give a man the "buck-ague.
-Minden Ia) Signal.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Fate of Heidelberg Castle.

All Germany is now excited over
the condition of the Heidelberg castle.
For two years the question whether
the lotto Heinrichs" portion of it
the handsonest section-shall or shall
not be taken down and rebuilt has
aroused all Baden to the point where
fraternal warfare seemed close at
hand. Now the matter has lost it's
local significance and become an i'm
perial issue, says the New York Post.
The newspapers everywhere have
taken sides for or against. Expert
after expert has been consulted, and
one commission of architects after the
other has had it's say only to be over
ruled or controverted. So serious has
the situation become that there is no
little danger of the structures tum-
bling down before a decision can be
reached. This is precisely what one
party wants; but even the elements
and time must not do their work with
but official sanction. Hence there has
been an appeal to the highest tri-
bunal. Everybody knows that the
kaiser is a great architect; is he not
a world-renowned poet, musician. ora
tor, general. designer of battleships,
as we'll? In August, therefore. the
head of the state is to settle the dis
puted point
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
He Didn't Go Up.

H A Buck was calling on Prof.
jerks, of Cornell, at the St. Francis
hotel, the other day. They were
exchanging raillery and beclouding
the ambient atmosphere with much
smoke, when a brass buttoned bellboy
cut snort their banter by handing the
Cornell professor a card
Pardon me a moment, Harry" said
Prof. jerks, as he proceeded to read
an inscription on the card. 1t read:
Some years ago, on the occasion of
a visit % Alaska, l enjoyed the pleas
ure of meeting your father, and
would be deeply sensible of the priv
ilege AMI honor of shaking hands with
his SON.
How cid was the man who sent up
this card?' asked Prof. jerks of the
bellboy.
About 80, SIR said the bellboy.
A thought cloudcd the brow of Pres
ident Roosevelt's representative for a
moment Then he wrote something
on the back Of the card and handed
it back L. the bellboy. The something
on the back of the card read:
MY father died 81 years ago. II
you have any other good reason for
wishing to see me 1 should be pleased
to have you come up.''-San Francisco
Chronicle.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
College Students as Thinkers.

1t is important for college teachers
to promote the pursuit on the part
of their students of such subjects as.
in their inherent character. demand
thinking, and also to promote such
q pursuit of these subjects as does
promote thinking, says Charles F.
Theving, in North American Review.
Mathematics is a subject which de-
mands thinking. 1t is thinking; 1t is
nothing else. History may be pre-
scented as a matter of acquisition; it
also may be presented as a matter of
weighing evidence. as a study of
cause and effect. Economics is sub
5ect which specially offers opportuni-
ties for such study as develops think
Ing Its phenomena are complex. and
tAe causes which prevail in its field
are often obscure. These studies. and
similar ones, offer a special advan-
tage in creating and nourishing the
power of thinking
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25

couvenir of the occasion ia tie ct OF
one of the toy animals
September Birthday Party.
The coming of September. with its
sapphire to bestow upon those born
within its days. is delight The
deep. rich. sparkling blue Of the stone
affords a pretty color idea for a lunch
con or dinner. To be sure there are no
blue flowers to be used. but there are
blue fruits. and nothing makes pref
tier table decoration than grapes and
their leaves.
One of the simplest and most attrac-
tive center decorations it has been my
pleasure to see, was arranged by q
very young girl with artistic tenden-
cies and consisted only of a stein filled
with great punches of blue grapes, the
green leaves massed prettily about the
base of the mug and both grapes and
leaves falling over the sides on the cloth
in artistic confusion
Another idea for grape decoration
which works in prettily is the use of
a mound of the grapes on the stem for
the center. For the final course the
hostess clips the grapes in small
punches and these serve as the close
of the luncheon or dinner-in this
If the first idea is used a great bow
of wide satin ribbon in the deep blue
caught on one corner of the table will
add to the beauty of the decoration.
The service should be in the deep blue
and white which is now easily obtain
able ard which reminds us of grand
mothers dishes. Unlike the greens
and reds it will be quite impossible to
carry the color out in detail in the
menu, but grapes on the stem should
serve as the opening fruit course and
the great blue plums, halved and seed
ed and piled with whipped cream
make a pretty course for this lunch
con.
After the luncheon is over there may
be short contest by way of diver
sion, for which the following guessing
game of stones may be used:
There is a stone. my friends, that
speaks of home,
And one of warmth and cleanliness,
as we'll;
Another crowns the arch. and one
Does of the building and its strength
foretell.
Another shines upon us in the night
Another is the symbol of the brave,
Another of the fluid that means life,
Another of the coming of the grave.
Two names has one which makes an
edge that's sharp.
Another means carpet for the
street,
And so we might go on-but think
On these. my friends, until your lists
complete.
The answers are as follows: Hear h
stone, soapstone, keystone, corner
stone, moonstone. fiagstone. blood
stone. tombstone. milestone and grind
stone. cObblestOne.
For the enc who guesses most of
these correctly give the small book
called ''Toasts." which has a stein
binding. done in blue and white with
a bunch of grapes on either side.
Copyright. by Joseph B. Bowles.)
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25

An ironmonger In small English
town recently posted the following an
nouncement in front of his shop:
The reason why / have hitherto been
able to sell my goods so much cheap
er than anybody else is that I am
bachelor and do not need to make
. profit for the maintenance of wife
and children 1t is now my duty to
inform the public that this advantage
will be shortly withdrawn from them,
~ I am about to be married They
viii, therefore, do well to make their
nurchasss at once at the old rate
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Rose Life.

The night sent down a dewdrop
To where a red rose slept;
The red rose opened wide it's arms,
And in the dewdrop crept.
The sun came softly stealing
Above the hilltop's crest,
And made the dewdrop sparkle
Upon the roses breast.
The south wind came and kissed 1t,
And made it dip and nod
Its flaming petals, falling.
Made rainbows on the sod.
milwaukee Sentinel.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
In the Wee Hours.

What was that noise in the parlor
last night?"
why, Bender came home from the
club and started to make that cleo
trical experiment"
What electrical experiment."
why, rubbing a black cat on the
back to see if he could see any
sparks"
And did he see any sparks?"
No; but he saw a myriad of stars.
The cat clawed him, and he fell over
the piano" Daily News.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Settling.

The seedy-looking stranger ap-
preached the Questions and Answers
editor.
May 1 have your assistance" he
asked. 'in settling a wager"
Certainly, sir"
You're sure it'll be no trouble to
you?"
None at all I'm perfectly willing
to help you
Let me have $40. then, 1 lost
Cleveland Leader.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Mot on the Prooramme.

"Of course" she said, you've seen
the cake walk, professor
-The-er-the cake. madam? No."
returned the professor But I-un-
der a strong lens, you understand
have seen the cheese mobilize.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Knew What He Wanted.

Young Gent-Um-er-doy you ever
take back goods and-return the
money?
Jeweler-No, sir; but if you have an
engagement ring, I'll melt it up for
you and pay for the gold.-N. Y.
Weekly
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
A Layman's Impression.

n EdymdhS ImpreSsfon.
Father" said the small boy. what
is a SCIENTIST"
"A scientist, my son. is a man who
can tell you things you already know
in such unfamiliar language that you
regard 1t as something brand new
WASHINGTON Star.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
A Difference.

Weary Raggles-Say, is Sing Sing
far from here?
Handsome Harry-Well. it took me
an hour to go there and a year to get
back.-Le Rire-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Yes, Indeed.

She said that she thought 1t was perfect
To go out for row a day like this:
But her arms were bare, and see with
sorrow.
That bliss to-day will mean blisters to-
morrow
Cleveland Leader
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Glory.

want to be an ice man,
And with the ice man stand,
An auto at the sidewalk,
A bank book in my hand.
milwaukee Sentinel.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Dear!

A1icfa-Oh, that poem of yours IS
just the dearest thing,
AlphonsoI should say IT is I've
spent $40 worth of stamps sending 1t
to maeazines--Clevela Leader.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Send Check.

Send Check.
His wife is at the seashore,
And every days a gay day:
His daughter is with mamma.
And every days a wade day:
But they write lovely letters
He gets one every pay day.
Houston Post
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Bx EDITH A. BROWN

Out-of-Doors Circus Party for Chill
dren-Side-Show, Clowns, Toy An
imals and Pink Lemonade-Sap-
phire Affords Pretty Color Idea for
Birthday Dinner-A "Stone" Con-
test.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
1T is so HARD TO UNDERSTAND
WOMAN.

Cad, you can't understand wom-
an he said. disgustedly. IT'S no
use trying"
What's happened now?"
Il met that pretty Miss Swift in a
dark hallway and kissed her. / didn't
think she'd mind, you know"
And she did mind?"
We'll she pretended to be very an
cry. SO 1 thought I'd smooth things
down by telling her that it was all a
mistake-that 1 thought she was
somebody else"
And them"
why. then she really was very an
gry.'-Judge.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Hairy Persif1aoe.

Barber-Hair cut or shave. sir?
Customer-Eh? oh, merely cut,
thank you.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25

The Novelist am troubled with
Insomnia. 1 lie awake at night think
ing about my novels.
The Critic-Why don't you get up
and read one of them brooklyn
Eagle.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25

Clara-Can you always tell be-
ginner on the links?
Claude-Well, as a rule. you can't
tell him mueh-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
GOOD Jokes

A Necessary Preliminary.
Aim hight You'll hit the mark of fame,
AS many men you know did:
But there's use in taking aim
Unless your gun is loaded
Life
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
The Cid. Old Story.

He couldn't read his title clear
To mansions in the skies,
In fact, he had none anywhere
He didn't advertise
Chicago Record-Herald.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Judaina by Looks.

JUd9Ih9 by LOOKS.
Bacon-She says she is % years
old.
Egbert-Well, she looks as If she
would say she was about that old
Yonkers Statesman.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25

Tom-Twenty dollars for that sim
pie fall hat? You must be crazy!
Clara-Well, 1 must say it's going
to my head.-Chicago Chronicle.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
Human Nature.

Human Nature.
The path of duty leads, it's said,
To self-approvaL But
A lot of people strive each day
To find a shorter cut
Chicago Daily News
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25
That Was All.

Effie-Jack and / fished for four
hours yesterday.
Elsie-Catch anything?
Effie (coyly)-Only Jack.-Royal
Magazine.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25

Clarence told the minister he
might kiss you.
Cordelia-And what did he say?
Clarence-He thanked me- and said
that under the circumstances he
would forego the usual fee.-Illus-
trated Bits.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-08-25

Gussie-Yes; while was talking to
Miss Rose she had far-away, pleased
look in her eyes,
Miss Sharp-Perhaps she was
that you were far away
Daily News.
Good Taste.
Its bite may lead to marriage
But 1 tell you this
That l don't blame a microb0
For lurking in kiss.
Houston Post.
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28
TWO GREAT GENERALS.
Wellington and Washington Had q
Sort of Sympathy for
Each Other.

When | entered the Strathfield-
save drawingroom for the first
time with the duke of Wellington's
eldest son and heir, | was sur
prised and delighted to see one of
Gilbert Stuart's noble portraits of
Washington occupying the place
of honor in the handsome apart
ment, says CornhilFs Magazine.
"Where did you find that fine
picturew asked the American.
co." said the second duke, my
father hung it there almost half a
century ago"
| then inquired: ''Did your
father admire Washington?'
"My father" was the dukes re-
ply, "deemed Washington the pur
est and noblest character of mod
ern time-possibly of all time
and considering the raw troops
with which he had to oppose the
trained and veteran soldiers OF
England, also great general
Another interesting statement
which the second duke made to me
was that when his father was as
signed to the command of an expe-
dition to be sent out against the
city of Washington and New Or
leans in 1914, he declined the com
mand chiefly on the ground that
he would not fight against Wash
ington's countrymen.
And when his government asked
for the names of three officers
from whom commander could be
selected, Wellington wrote: "Sir
Edward Pakenham. Sir Edward
Pakenham, Sir Edward Paken-
ham,"
And so poor Sir Edward, his
brOther-in-law, was sent to New
Orleans to meet his death in the
most disastrous defeat ever sus-
tanned by a British army.
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28
SAVING HABIT A GOOD ONE
It Is an Acquired Trait Which Comes
by Cultivation and Is Always
Invaluab BILE.

Individuals who save and aceu-
mulate sums ofmoneyfor lucrative
inves tment are individuals who
form the habit of saving, says the
Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
To be prodigal of your resources
is natural. 1t is a survival Of the
primal nature. Saving is an ac
quired trait. 1t is necessary,
therefore, to form habits that are
conducive to economy. Many men
and women who work for wages or
salaries find it difficult to save
unless some circumstance forces
them to it. The fact that this in
diligence only means dollar or a
dime, as the case may be, is regard
ed as sufficient excuse to spend
the money.
1t will take a long time to ac-
quire fortune by laying up the
odd pieces of change. Yet many
great institutions derive their en-
tire patronage from dimes, nickels
and even pennies. The habit of
saving means the saving of the
little denominations. 1t is to curb
the inclination to spend money
simply because. the denomination
is insignificant. Anyone can
save the dollars, big bills and gold
pieces.
That the prodigal side of man is
understood is found in the devices
for catching the pennies and the
dimes. To offset this and to en-
courage him to lay by portion OF
his earnings, savings banks and
the monthly payment plan for real
estate, property assurance, etc.
are in existence. Our wealth is our
property. In the possession of
property is centered our material
well-being, our prosperity.
The habit Of saving, if persisted
in, will make all men possessors of
property. The value of that prop
serty and the measure of our well
being will depend upon the amount
of our accumulations and the
measure of our desires. \ thrifty
people is contented people. I'm
providence results in want and
suffering. Habits of saving will
contribute to individual happi-
ness. and to general prosperity in
proportion as the habit of saving.
thriftiness, becomes Il habit com
mon to all the people.
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28
gross neglect of duty.

SlOSo WI Nto5'
When a man is arrested for the
eommonest offense against the law
and is not ready for trial, be is
invariably required to give
bond for his appearance. But
here we find parties arrested fA
an offense, which, if you will take
the trouble to look up the law on
the cases and note the penalties
for its violation, you will at least
admit is worse than the common
est, but the accused are turned
loose without bond.
Does this look like the officers
are ready and willing to do their.
duty? The Journal is free to con-
TESS that it does not look that way
to US.
One man who violates the law
should be shown no more favors
at the hands of the officers than
any other man, regardless of who
he may be or what offense he has
committed; that is, of course,
among ordinary offenses.
The Journal makes this state
ment with no personal i'll will or
prejudice against any Of the Oil
GERS or any of the accused-we
consider all of them as our friends
but there is already an impress
ssion among many people of the
community that some of the OIL
GERS are in league with the joint
keepers, and such acts as these
serve to deepen the impression.
How can the officers expect the
people to have any confidence IN
them when they permit such as
this?
No wonder the people are criti-
cising the officers, and unless they
make amends and begin to do
something toward better enforc-
ing the law as it should be, they
may expect more scathing ar
raignment from the people than
they have yet received.
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28
FRANCES GREAT cARIcATURlsT.

Caran d'Ache, the famous
French caricaturist, gives this
account of his first caricature.
One day while serving in the
army as young man he called
on NJ. Detaille, the famous mill
tary painter. "Detaille," he says,
"received me kindly, and advised
me to 60 on. But before l give
you a definite decision, go back
to barracks and draw me some
thing fresh,' said he, 'and bring
it to me next week, and l will
give you an opinion Caran
d'Ache went back to barracks
and attempted to draw the regi-
mental scullion. Impossible! AS
long as the idiot stood there look
ing at me with his mouth wide
open | could make nothing of
him, SO, with absolute injustice
l gave him two days cells for
being such a fool, and gave it up.
Next day, on a piece of writing
paper l drew my scullion from
memory And so Caran
d'Ache's first great caricature
was made.
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28
8 INJURED IN EXPLOSION.

Clinton, Dec. 25-A can of DOW
der exploded in the general store
of William Lindsay and Son
here this morning wounding eight
men, two of them probably fatally.
William Linsay and j. H. Mas
sey are probably fatally injured,
while John Perkins, Geo. Kirt,
Harley Hall, Ernest Hall, Walter
Morgan and Jim Biggs were all
painfully injured.
The explosion occurred while
VIM. Lindsay, proprietor of the
store, was weighing some of the
powder for a customer. j. III.
Massey, who was standing near.
struck a match, and it is believed
the. head of the match, flew into
the powder, causing the explosion.
All eight of the men were standing
in the store near the can of pow
d2. The explosion wrecked the
building. Fire followed but was
extinguished by citizens, who bur
riedly formed bucket brigade.
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28
OFFICIAL NEGLIGENCE

The officers of the town have
repeatedly stated that they were
ready and willing to do their duty
in enforcing the law against the
blind tigers in Newark. Several
days ago the citizens took the
initiative and swore out warrants
for some of the offenders. They
were arrested, arraigned before
the mayor and their trials set for
q later date. They were released
without bond, or at least some of
them were, and two OF the most
guilty, not liking the sudden turn
affairs had taken. quietly left for
parts unknown.
The Journal Is not informed as
IL who is to blame for this act of
official negligence, but it is very
plain that some one is guilty of
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28

1Some negro soldiers ran amuck
1t Leavenworth, Kan, Christmas
might md fred their guns into
lwded street car. After the
Isville riot, which resulted
thu dishonorable discharge of
three companies of negro soldiers
for similar conduct, it seems that
the negro soldiers would be good.
But the average negro loses his
equilibrium when placed in a po-
sition where he thinks he has a lit
tie authority, and the government
makes a mistake in enlisting ne
groes in the army.
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28

Suppose lot of your friends
should get up birthday celebra-
ton in your honor and then get
drunk and make donkey of them
selves generally. Would you feel
very much honored, or would
you, if you had the power, walk
up and kick them over into the
idle of next week?
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28
Well, its all over now, but pay
ing the bills.

The legislature convenes at Lit
tie Rock the 18th of January; then
we'll all have something to talk
about.
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28
INCOMPETENT.

She-I can't begin to express
my contempt for you.
He-Thank heaven there is one
subject on which you have moth
ing to say.
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28
Hiuzsyclist.

A doctor savs thst so long as
cyclist can hreat be cdUfortably
WIN Tue mouth shut he " SAFE
from any ,donoer ~ heart sSein.
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28
: LOCAL MARKET REPORT. I
Corrected Every Thursday After
noon by Sisk, Hulsey & Haadock

Butter, per pound. ..... .25
Eggs, per dozen. 25
Corn. per bushel. IS
Cotton, lint, per pound. OS4
Cotton seed, per ton. 11OO
Molasses, sorghum, per gal. so
Potatoes, Irish, per bushel.. IS
Potatoes, sweet, per bushel. I 90.
The Newark journal., 1906-12-28

let's all spit on our hands
It ready to make a strong
ted pull for the advance
I'D upbuilding of Newark.
lrnal would like to see her
|rward during 1907 more
than she has ever done,
livery man in town will re-
! iioin the boosters and quit
ng, she will do it.