Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-01-11
Man About Town.

Sing song ofjoy and praise,
We've helped our constitution.
Walked straight ahead for ten long days.
And kept our resolution,
Let the banners wave on high,
We have not had a jag on
We've passed the booze dispensary by,
We are on the water wagon.
Passes on the Rail Road to Eternitv
good for 365 days for sale at the PRESS
Office.
Wedding bells going to ring soon.
Funeral bells ring most every day.
Strenuous times in the Boro' these
days.
There is no fireside how so ere defended,
But has one vacant chair;
There is no flock however watched and tended
But one black sheep is there.
A peculiar odor penetrated the
Dottling works the other day. 1t was
combination of pole cat, ferret. gum
powder and beer. Some one must
have been a hunting.
Pittsburg Phil has accepted a situa-
ton in st. Marys. He is to wake up
horses in livery stable.
The Editor Of country newspaper
is exposed to great many risks. The
PRESS don't print all the news that
happens in and around Emporium. II
1t did their would be some very spicy
reading, but it would be printed bat
once The next week You would read
the EDITORS obituary and there would
be stranger wandering around In
the great beyond. In order to please
the people and make money enough to
pay his printers ne must print only the
nice things said of them and leave tbs
rest to gossip.
Uncle Peter Beattie says some PEG
pie go to church and when the plate is
passed put in a nickel, thinking it is a
slot machine and they will draw out
basketball of religion; says some people
are about as much use in the world as
the decorations on Christmas dinner
table are to a hungry man; says the
doctors often treat man for drunkea-
ness, but generally the more you treat
drunken man the drunken he gets:
says if there were more good cooks ia
this world there would not be half SO
many wealthy doctors; says there is a
great deal of difference between a boy
and girl. You never see a boy borrow
baby to wheel around; says it takes
all kinds of people to make this world.
man will come in and lean over his
counter with breath a good deal
stronger than his intellect and
want five cigars for a cent, another
will come to his home in the evening
when he is at prayer, and ring the door
bell until the stove pipe falls down.
don't have any manners; says things
have not changed so much since Bibli4
cal times; they had cash boys many
years before Christ, for Job said all tho
days ofmy appointed time will | wait
till my change comes; says he thinks
the reason Joseph's brothers cast hira
into the pit was because they saw 8
good opening for the young man; and
they certainly had dyspepsia for didn't
the Lord give Moses a couple OF
tablets; says he once went hunting i'm
the woods in Maine and saw a snake
seize bull frog by the hind legs and
the bull frog caught the snake by the
tail and they commenced swallowing
each other and they continued the opa
Grafton until nothing was left of Snems
| says he knew man once who. was so
mean he stopped his clock every night
to keep it from wearing out the cogs,
and used to send his sausage skins b gck
to the butcher shop to have them re-
filled; says mans money all goes for
| eating and clothes and if Eve hadn't
been so fond of apples we wouldn't
have TO be wearing any clothes. He
intends next summer TO take the trip
of his life, is going to buy Pope
/ Toledo Touring Car start from the
Coke Ovens and go to the Bermuda Is
lands, coasting around here awhile; ne
will go to the South Coast of Africa
| after visiting friends and relatives there
will 60 straight 10 Greenland Thinks
he will not visit the ruins of Pompaei,
for they have not been repaired since
he was there; after wrestling with thf
grizzleys in Greenland make bee line
for Quebec and from there take the old
[ Military Pike by the way of SiZerville
home. He offers to take the Man About
Town along as his valet If he will pl5
his own expenses.
GASSAWAY
WANTED = Capable bustlers to engage
In the Tea and Coffee business. No
capital required. splendid induce.
monts To right party. For fall pafticu-