davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

From the Atchison Globe.1
we are all Of US generous when we
- now we would spend some ones
When a mother is too weak to osaa-
isn her children herself what a Big
stick she makes Of Father.
Whenever some women appear with
q new friend, others think, That's an
other one I have heard her abuse a
thousand times.''
Old age is a good excuse for being
without teeth, hair, eyesight, etc. but
II IS no excuse for demanding respect
and giving none.
1t occurs to A man every time they
nave company at the table that his
wife must think outsiders are entitled
TO something better than he is
When a singer gets up at an ANA
teur entertainment, every one won
ders if the singer and the organist VIII
ever be real good friends again.
II there is whipped cream on anv
old thlng on the table, a girl is apt 10
tnlnk Inat the requirements for a
DAINTY luncheon have all been met
Did you ever stop to think that no
one ever reaches the promised land
70 reach it is like chasing the rain
bow; 1t is always little farther on.
There are many who would not take
nve cents from their employers money
drawer, who think it all right to rob
him Of several hours of their time
Another reason to behave which Is
IS Is, iHapofAa as the starry crown:
When you do anything wrong vour
enemies pick it up and get a ten mile
start Of your friends.
A married woman does not have to
stand jokes about getting a moor stick
q husband 50 why should old maids
nave 70 sapnllI TO the time hOnored
After a picnic. a man walks away
smoking his cigar, and the woman Is
left to clear up the dishes, and some
how conditions are like this in less
legitimate affairs than picnics
About six weeks after the c~71
some nemger of the family -eeaiis
that "he" was opposed to the idea az
a costly monument and the rest OF
the FAMILY are grateful to the one 51ith
the good memory.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
PoINTED PARAeRAPHs.
IRON the chicago NeAs.7

tFron the Chicago NsSFs.J
Even sensible men like to nibbie st
dattery once in a While.
An eloquent prayer doe-~.s 80 any
higher than the other kind.
Once in while the man Who is too
lazy to work poses as g reformer.
Three in a game Of love makes II
more interesting than satisfactory.
Don't grasp new theories while they
are req nor. want until they cool off
Be kind to beggars. You may want
u borrow money OF them some dav.
A shTewd man may be both wise AMI
honest. but the odds are against his fsa-
ing either.
=. " men i comes 20 dispensing wisdom
llls axelass man thlnks ne has Solo
After reading the wedding an
nouncements in a newspaper E. Sro4,7ar,
always turns to the court news III see
how many divorce suits have been
filed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
FROM OTHER PENS
TOO MUCH PARTIsANsHIP.

Senator Patterson OF Colorado IS
right when he pronounces the man
dates of party caucus when treaties
are to be considered as opposed TO
the spirit of the constitution. The
Democratic senators participated IN
such a caucus. but Mr.. Patterson re-
fused to be bound by it. All honor
to him. Partisanship in congress has
been carried altogether too far in va
rious directions. Caucus action has
become the rule rather than the ex-
ception, but when an effort is made
to drive a party into one way of think
ing when such nonpartisan question
as treaty with another country is
sent to the senate by the president
that effort is obnoxious to every sense
of deeency. fair play and independ-
ce.=Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The coal dealers unanimously ap-
prove the idea that a few weeks of zero
weather would be a good thing for the
country
We notice that the man who thinks
the stuff in the newspapers about
Alice's wedding clothes is all rot, al
ways reads it-just to find out how
silly it is. no doubt.
Speaking Of double-entry. that
seems TO be the system of bookkeep-
ing employed by the Chicago packers
Speaking of useless words, we would
enter Investigation" and question" as
having no place in the vocabulary of
H H. Rogers. Report" as applied to
findings of accountants, is doubtless
the most useless word in the language
for T. T. Kelly. Probably Mr.. Rookie
Teller has as little use for the word,
sTarbell," as any. If some one Will
start a contest for the most useful
word we will enter rebate" for Mr.
Rockefeller, and coupon" for Mr.
Kelly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
DOGS Tfair Turning Gray.

Scared into a state Of frenzy by being
whirled around in the fender of a swift
" moving trolley car and then elected
into the street, Shot" a handsome
irish setter belonging to Frank NJ. Ham
mill, a cigar manufacturer. is turning
gray.
'sshot" was crossing the street a few
days ago, when a trolley car bore down
upon him. Terrorized with fright, the
dog was unable to move out of the way
In a moment the fender struck the dog
and he was sent flying through the air.
The animal scampered home and hid in
the cellar for two days. When he issued
forth again his red coat was streaked
with gray and since then the gray has
been Spreading all over his body.-Phil-
adelp11ia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

Those who have been congratulate
ing themselves upon the mild winter
because of small coal bills have per-
haps failed to remember that unless
the grounding sustains his reputation,
we shall be paying more for ice next
summer than for many generations.
What profteth it a man to save at the
coal bin and waste at the. ice chest2
We believe that the memory of man
runneth not contrary to the time when
there has been no ice harvested in this
vicinity by the first of February.
There is none on the Hudson and very
little in Maine or Canada. Yet ice is
one of the principal articles of neces-
sity in the summer time.-Philadel-
phia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
A Little Boys 11istake

a Gladstone story going the rounTs
SHOWS the great statesman in one of the
crises OF his childhood. says an ex-
change.
When I was little chap he related
not 50 many years ago. Just leaving
on my kits, my father sent me to dine
with 6eaconsheld, who having taken a
1ancy to me while visiting in Norfolk
sillres wanted to have me as his gaiest.
MY good father, as he parted with
nee on my way to his lordship4s, said:
NOW, William. when at his irdship's
BOARD be sure you do exactly as he does
Well 1 went to the good mans house,
ana sat down at the table and anxiously
watched my host while he served the
guests, bent, of course, on following my
Ialher' orders to do exactly as his lord
snip. When the guests had been served
MS lordshlp looked up from his plate
ana soon sneezed several times. I
Walcneu MIN, and soon I Sneezed the
same number of times I had noted he
had done Nothing was said, the meal
continued without interruption for a
few more minutes. then his lordship ex-
claimed.
"A beastily drauglt.' and wheeling
around in his chair, called to his valet to
close a door that had been left open
near his lordshiDs seat.
Again watched him; then, repeat
ing the exclamation he had uttered. I
wheeled around in my chair and gave a
similar command to the valet.
There was a silence; his lordship's
brow knitted, his lips closed and he
gave me such a hard and inquiry g look
that 7 tremb,ed from head to foot
AT last he spoke; his voice not harsh,
but determined:
See here. William, are you initiating
n1e2' he asked.
oh. no, your Iordship.' I stammered
out.
ss'Well, what does this mean?'
Only your lordship, that I am do
ing what father told me. He said I was
to watch you at the table and do exact
~ as you did
His lordship laughed merrily; then,
turning to his guests. said:
- I am taught a lesson I must not
do that which I would not have others
do"
Mr.. Gladstone paused a moment. IN
joying greatly the thought of that din
ner long ago when he was a little boy.
Then he added:
Little man. always be careful; never
do anything because other people do it
unless you are certain it is good and
pleasing unto Cod
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
Indian Girl Raises Fine chickens.

There is a pretty Choctaw girl
among the exhibitors of fine poultry
al the seventeenth annual show of the
New York Poultry Pigeon and Pet
Stock association at Madison Square
garden. With butcher s smock con-
cealing a becoming dress and a big
pet Leghorn in her arms, she is one
of the most attractive and picturesque
sights of the big show.
She is Miss Sophia Pitchlynn, of
Washington, d. c. Her father was
Peter Pitch1ynn, the Choetaw chief
tain, spokesman for his tribe to con-
gress for twenty-five years, and de-
scribed by Charles Dickens in his
American notes as the best type of an
American gentleman the great novelist
met here. Chief Pitehlynn married a
Washington woman, so Miss Sophia is
really only half Indian
She has some of the prettiest chick
in the back yard of her unpretentious
home in washington.
She and her brother. with whom she
resides and who is also devoted to
chickens, began to raise them at first
as source of amusement. but thew
have found that the scientific and
careful raising of chickens is profit
able as Well Miss Pitchlynn's chiek-
ems have taken prizes at the Rock
VINE and Hagerstown fairs. in Mary
land, and bid fair to be among the
prize winners this week
MISS Pltchlynn's chickens are so
tame that they will nestle in her arms
when she calls them and cIuck hack
when She talks and strokes them =
New York Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
HUMOR or TIE Day

why does thar man complain SO much
because the old-fashiOned mode OF New
Years calling Is falling ineo eas9se i fba
proprietor Of q head&cne fe4neos.
change.
see what gotf' cried Bobby. city
bred boy, as ne came running IN from 9
chicken coop. holding in his hand a CHINA
.soh, go put it backr' exclaimed Mabel.
his 6-year-old sister That the egg t2@
hen measures by. Judge.
.I have discovered a wonderful rene-
dy SAID the s. ., :. s,.sz HE friend.
II haven't decided yet" replied the
chemist I'm going to take DAY en-
next week and hunt up suitable disease
for it.'-Chicago Daily News
Mr.. Hun1ley is becoming quite atten-
tive to YOU remarked Miss Cutting
Yes" replied Miss Hauety, but really
you don't suppose that Ia consider Ior a
minute a proposal from him. do your
oh, no! OF coarse, 7 know you would
not take that long. philadelphia Press.
Mother-Oh. Freddy. did you lick your
Freddy4Yes'r but I told him it hurt
me worse than it did him--NeW York
THAT dangerous young criminal has
been checked IN his mad career"
You mean he's been spotted2'
Yes. and soon he will be striped. -
New York Times
Knieker-Aren't you tired of getting
lovely but useless things your wife makes
for you2
Boeker-Yes: but this year III get even.
m going to give her an unsigned check.
Judge.
...WhIy DO s yen keep that revolverq9
men?'
NO. against hunger. pawn it when
l m broke Denver Post.
Uncle -Dorothy.I hope your cease
telling your mother every time Tommy
Dorothy-I will. uncle. III tell pa in
stead. He spanks Tommy twice as hard
as ma does-Chicage News.
Dyer married only a year ago and
gone, into bankruptcy. How did it hap
TRYING TO live up to the wedding pres
ents they received. Town Topics.
Customer-when was this chicken kill
,W5;aiter-we don't furnish dates with
en2lieken' sir. Only bread and butter
. YES; I've stopped smoking at home"
oh, no. On the contrary. she furnish
ca the cigars. cleveland Plain Dealer
Mrs. De Lush-What has kept you out
Mr.. De LusIl-Been takin' inventory.
Mrs. De Lush-I knew it. sn9eIle5 II
vi 9oHI. pfesath the minute YOU opened the
door.-Cleveland Leader
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

A Nebraska story tells of q. justice of
the peace who got into an alteration
with a foe. and the alteration resulted
in black eyes for each of the partici-
pants. When the justice went back to
his Office he had a constable arrest
both himself and the other man. He
dned each ten dollars for disturbing
the peace, and gave both himself and
his foe due warning that if they were
hauled up in that court again the pun
1shment would be more severe. That's
the way to enforce Iaw-without fear
or favor
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
a Fair Exchange.

Hon. Joseph H Choate tells Of d meet
ing at a London club of bishop and
LORD. Rosebery. During the course Of their
conversation the reverend gentleman OBJ
served to his 1ordship:
i've an invitation to dine this evening.
What a nuisance it ls--a long dinner, j
mean. There are two things I absolutely
drea5-a long dinner and long sermon.
/ contend that. however good they may
be neither the dinner nor the sermon
should take more than twenty minutes at
the most
Rosebery smiled. TT seems to me- he
said that the matter might be nicely ar
ranged by knocking ten minutes of the
sermon and putting It on the dinner -
Harperss weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
4 MYSTERY or HUAroR.

When on the pave you chance to fan.
With utter lack Of grace,
And turn your ankle as you sprawl.
ana maybe, bruise your face,
W hen angry tears spring to your aye
and you are mad as sin,
"a, why does every passer-by
Behold you with grin2
When foolish wagers you have paid
With natural regret
When resolutions boldly made
All weakly you forget.
wen plans go wrong, and YOU are broke,
" nen You had hoped to win
N PHYS name, where is the Joke
and why do people GRIM
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

There are SO many others who do so
much worse than Mrs. Yerkes- Miner.
that much of the censure that is being
heaped upon her seems undeserved.
She at least waited until Mr.. Yerkes
died before marrying a0ain. And there
was no special reason why she should
honor his memory by delaying her sec
Ond wedding Yerkes had not been
near her FOR three years; he had given
his attentions to another. So why
was she bound to honor him in his
death. when he refused to honor her
IN his life?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

Here is the opening sentence Of a
sJack WEIGH, a new bartender at
James Kelly's saloon on Cherokee
street between Third and Fourth
streets. reported to the police at 3
o cloek yesterday morning that two
men had entered his place and robbed
him Of $50 at the point of a revolver.
The police had been in the place three
minutes before the alleged robbery is
said to have taken place" Let's see
IS Leavenworth in Kansas or Ken
fuczy2 This query is respectfully re-
Gered to Governor Hoch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
REELEoTIoNs 81 : BAcHrI.oR


. -
A man seldom ever has less sense
than his children think he has.
Half the fun of having a good fs,,s
is making people think you are havi1's
a better.
The devil doesn't worry about the
churches so much as he 5vorid r. bs
wasn't sure of the rows in the chair.
a woman can wear low shoes ana
keep her feet warm if she hiss ~ ! 80
that makes her friends jealous.
a woman would have a much LARGER
bank balance If she weren't AFRAID Fi,e
bank would play q trick on her s1gz
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
4 BILL sQUEEzER.

The Lodge consular reform bill
came out of the senate committee
room looking as though it had been
through the wars. It's parent had
trouble in recognizing it. Something
like go per cent. of the reform is miss
ing. We shall see presently what hap
pens to the rate regulation bill in the
senate committee room.-Hartford
Courant
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

Editor ingalls,, Of the Washington
Register, thinks that Notwithstanding
Mr.. Stubs denial that he is a. candi-
date for United States senator. he is
acting very much like man who
would like to have the nomination run
him down.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

pride goeth before destruction and
q naughty spirit before a fall says
the proverb; but it seems that there
are other things besides pride and
naughty spirits that cause the fail of
politicians
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

The State Journal does not assume to
advise Kansas Democrats, but if they
wish a pretty good sort of a man for a
gubernatorial candidate it would rec
ommend that they consider the follow
ing suggestion made by the Miami Re
publican: while the Democrats are
casting about for a candidate for gov
ernor. they should not overlook Judge
4danford sehconover Of Garrett. He
might not be elected. but he would make
q ereditable candidate"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

1t is certainly very ereditabIe that
single Kansas county. with a population
made up almost entirely Of farm people.
should raise. with little effort. the sum
Of Eve hundred dollars with which to
purchase a wedding present for Miss
Roosevelt II Is also worthy Of note
that this county was. until very reeeut-
e.. Overwhelmingly Popuistic. It has
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
AND THEIR OWN ACTS.

It does seem little queer that such
powerful financiers should have al
lowed themselves to be held up by
society publication. but doubtless they
knew their own business best.-In-
dianapolis News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

Joe Bristow is certainly optimistic.
lie sees the fortunate side of a recent
fire in Salina. in that the building
burned was a school building so far
away from others that they could not
catch fire from it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

and tore In vain at the strong old bar
rier ssa,.,s
1,8T7 80 Lawrence" she cried y
never be cross again as long g
i've ..----;-,,4 bera her close. "I9 Sc
80 - = :. - ~ said 1T hope you
Eli - eyass often. - Copyright
1906, by Ruby Douglas.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

The Hoxie Sentinel sees trouble
ahead. 1t says: webb 8IcNa1l is be-
ing doomed for the Republican nomina-
ton for insurance commissioner. Should
he land it a lot of us fellows who wrote
stuff concerning him when he was on
the other side of the fence are going to
be in awful plight
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
KANSAS COMNENT
AIRAIIGHs VIEW.

The gathering of Republicans at To-
peka on Kansas Day developed the fact
that there IS much opposition to Cover
nor Hoeh within the Republican party
in Kansas. but it is not the character
Of opposition that viii ever crystal llze
or get anywhere. Governor Hoch mas
made fair average governor. Those
who thought him a sort of deTni-god
who would do wonderful things, are OF
course, disappointed. Governor Hocn
has done a great deal as he has pleased
Those who assisted in his nomination
and who thought they would run hlI1,
have OF course, been disappointed. Inc
railroads that put up the money TO car
~ Reno county and other primaries Tor
aoch, but that have been unable TO
control him, are likewise disappointed
But there is none of that intensity IN
the opposition to Hoch that leads TO q
political revolution. Any governor N
Kansas who acquits himself cerdltably
is entitled to & second nomination. Inc
turning down OF Bailey two years ago
was an outrage, but the preparation
of another outrage now. would IN no
wise correct that wrong. Hoch mas
handled the state treasury matter pad
~ He had clustered when 1t dlQ NC
good, and laid down when something
might have been accomplished lie y
in more danger from it, both in the con-
vention and at the polls, than from al
his other supposed troubles. The turn
ing over of the accountants report "
Attorney General Coleman was gooo
deal like throwing it out in the back
alley.-Kingman Leader-CouTler.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
s0AfE KANSAS COUNTIEs.

gas and oil; central and western Kan
sas is recognized as the greatest wheat
producing region in America-perhap
IN the world; Butler Greenwood and
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

Morton Albaugh guesses there will be
four ex-governors in the next RepubI-
can state convention: Z. N. Morrill, of
Brown county, Lyman U. Humphrey of
Montgomery W. 2. Stanley of sedg-
wick, and w. J. Bailey Of Nemaha. But
suppose Chairman Stubs does not al
low another state convention to be held!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

When Mr.. Bryan gets home he will
have to put in several months reading
the papers to see what has happened
in politics while he has been becoming
a datto. He may find the political
landscape so changed that he won't
recognize it,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

Coleman is in one respect like a
horse. (fTo disrespeet is meant to the
horse and we don't intend to intimate
that he is the horses -brother.)
He can't think of but one thing at a
time. After he gets through with his
libel suit against the Journal, then he
win take up the custer cases in
Kansas City, Kas. After that, if he
has time before retiring from Office,
he may begin suits against the looters
of the state treasury Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

The congressional primary election in
the Second district has been called for
March a. That means six weeks of
fireworks that viii be the real thing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

How would it do for smith county
TO send Alice Roosevelt a $500 Kansas
cog to fit that diamond dog collar that
came from Ambassador Reid?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
DIsAPPoINTMENT

'KeiIy Ousted. This headline IN a
number of Tuesdays dailies sent a
thrill of satisfaction through many kan
sas readers, until they discovered that
it referred to a crooked St. Louis Off
ciaI.-Hoxie Sentinel
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

one good thing about the Roosevelt
Longworth wedding: We don't hear so
much about Tom Lawson.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

It is interesting to note that the
name of Russell Sage does not appear
in Colonel Mannss list of distinguished
pa trons=Philadelp Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12

But if Chicago should adopt a policy
Of spanking its hoodlums, would it not
involve such an immense amount of
labor that the supply would fall short2
Indianapolis News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
THE POOR HORSE.

As a result Of horseback riding Sec
rotary Taft has lost twenty-nine
pounds. Has any one weighed the
horse New York Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
re sCANbALoUs &c

In view of the scandals and in-
moralities in high life 1t seems that
poverty is the only safety Raleigh
News and Observer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
AN OPINION.

Joseph L. Bristow is mighty clear
headed young Kansan. He might make
a good United States senator, but he
viii never get to the senate. No man
who opposes the railroads can ever be
elected United States senator. The
Kansas legislators use up too much free
transportation to ever go against the
wishes of the railroads, in the matter
of the election of a United States sena-
tor. Joseph will have to remain in
Egypt, or else ride out on a pass.-Hof-
ton Headlight
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-12
MRs. YERKEs REMEMBERS


Now that her attention is directed
to the matter. Mrs. Yerkes- Miner re
members that among the other in
cidents Of the week. she got married
Ottawa Republic.