The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-11
ALL KINDS OF FARE ON HAND
Establishment Where Customer Waits On Himself and the Proprietor Ap- parentIy Has Great Faith in
 Human Nature.
Washington Post.

to eat should be.
 First, there Is the place where one
 waits upon himself and no cheeks are
 given The proprietor seemingly reposes
 chlld-like faith in the honesty of his
 customers. As & matter of fact, he does
 nothing of the kind He simply sells
 quick-lunch food, such as sandwiches,
 pies, coffee. rolls, puddings etc. and a
 rush comes around the noon hour that
 would tax fifty walters were 1t possible for all to seat themselves. Hence he is forced to dispense with walters and
 checks and bear the reputation of plac- ing implicit confidence in the honesty of human nature. In this kind of place the hungry man helps himself to whatever he sees, except coffee which is drawn for him. He secures his own knife, fork
 and plate, goes to another place for his
 sugar for his coffee, at another for his water and by the time he is supplied he
 has secured quite an amount of exercise. These places are for those who like to
 hustle their food Into the inner man as
 something to get out of sight as soon as possible. There are number of this type in the city, and they may be said to be the most popular both on account of the limited time most people have at the noon
 hour and on account of the great Ameri-
 can failing of bolting the food.
 English Tea Rooms.
 Then there is the English tea room.
 It's English, you know. People who
 patronize this type are quietly elegant
 and desire to be calm and judicial about
 the matter of storing up energy in the
 shape Of food. Well, they are so con
 stituted. Time hangs heavy in these tea
 rooms. A tastefully dressed girl, whom
 you imagine Is English. takes your or
 der of tea, eggs and a muffin and dis
 appears. You wait. Still you wait, and
 you make up your mind she has gone.
 The old song, 4'It May Be for Years, and
 it May Be Forever" of Kathleen Mavour-
 neen, rings in your ears. You grow ray
 enous, especially as others are enjoying
 real food. At this stage you are sorry
 you did not go with the girl and help.
 You would not refuse anything in the
 shade of food You would bite into any
 thing and not question if only you could find something to bite.
 At last she comes with that mperturb- able English air and deposits that won derful muffin and the tea and the eggs. The tea is In a pot, about a pint of it. When you bite that muffin you are sorry you did not order half a dozen, but when you remember the girls long absence
 
 are men and women having plenty of time
 on their hands for lunch, patent attor-
 neys, lawyers business men, ladies out
 shopping and others. The room Is done in
 mission furniture and everything is neat,
 tasteful and appetzng. Altogether, once
 you begin, you could eat a stalled OK in
 such surroundings. By the way. that wait ing for the girl to return is part of the English system of detetics. You see when you go into the place you may be a little
 out of sorts or tired. You decide upon a
 dish and then maybe wish you had or dered something else. After ten minutes waiting for that girl you wouldn't have anything else but what you ordered-no not If Demonieo could be brought hither and a feast fit for Iluculus spread before you. As the wait grows longer you make up your mind you will have that muffin
 and eggs if you have to go Into the lsitch-
 en and demand them, at the point of the pistol So the stomach is aroused to great activity. and the gastric juices are simply hollerng murder for food. Thus the mad ness has some method In it-and who ever heard of a dyspeptc Englishman? Eating at Leisure.
 Loud and boisterous eating and the Rabelaison laugh would be looked upon as sacrlege in such places. The English man likes to eat lesurely and the immor-
 tai muffin and chops may be found here
 
 slider himself well blessed to get 1t in the
 end There is a hushed air about these places that is quietly genteel and goes well with our pretentions.
 Then there is the slap. bang, hurrah, knock down and drag out style of eating and serving food These places have a man who stands before window leading into the kitchen and receives the orders from the walters which he bawls out to the kitchen artillery. Suppose you have ordered coffee, pork and beans. The caller translates this into the lingo of his kind. The order reaches the kitchen squad as pork and--draw one" When this order Is showed through the slot leading to | the kitchen and the waiter does not take 1t at once to the customer the caller
 attracts her attention in his way pork and-getting oold-take 1t away The
 waiter comes to life and grabs the order and hustes 1t to the hungry man who seems to appreciate this expediting of things Brown the wheat is heard. The darkey in the white cap proceeds to bake an order of wheat cakes. Thus the slang oispenses with the full name of the va rious orders and there Is an air of train leaves in one minute" still considering the number to be fed. the fact that checks are used. as these places both cook to order and serve cold lunches, the lunch Is served with wonderful rapidity and causes admiration for the organiza- tion of suchfplaces. Then there is the department store lunch. It must be seen to be understood Hundreds every day eat their lunches at the department stores. Here one may get a good lunch at moderate price. and at the same time watch the crowd and listen to pleasant music played upon a mechanical piano.
 Business Mans Lunch. Then there are places which make speciality of what they term business mans lunch" Just what such a lunch is remains a dark mystery. In some places no business man could exist long on such short rations as are served under the alluring title. At other places frequented mostly by men and the male animal may eat his meals reclining, seated upon his back collar button, or tied up in a knot. whichever position Is the most uncom- fortable to the on-looker and not actually dangerous to his life and limb. In these places man betrays the fact that the noble creature only assumes his manly bearing for the benefit of the ladies, for no sooner than he has dropped Into his seat far from feminine eyes, than he emulates the contortionist and the frog man, and such others who try to make the human anatomy conform to the gen eral rule of creatures having no bones to prevent them from tying themselves in-