The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1906-06-15
Uncle Bertraln|'s
Curate v. +
By SH1RLIANA
Copyright, by Joseph B. Bowles. }

Uncle Bertram would have curate!
The parish, which all told, only mus
ters 500 souls, did not really want one,
and we-mother, Constance, George
and I-certainly did not want one. But
it was no use. Uncle had made up his
mind to it and nothing would have
stopped him. 1t was one of his new
fads.
must tell you that mother is a
widow, and, with us, keeps house for
our bachelor uncle, AS long as can
remember the rectory had been our
home.
We all-except Constance, who is
Just II and sentimental-tr1ed the
usual amount of arguments, and we all,
of course, failed, as we usually did
when Uncle Bertram was bent upon
some new scheme. But the shadow OF
this latest fad hung over our heads
with unusual heaviness; and when the
following advertisement appeared In
the leading church paper We felt that
the new trouble was indeed upon us:
Wanted, by country rector, a
young curate. No objection to one
fresh from the university to whom a
title might be given. Broad-minded
preferred. offered: board and resi-
dence in charming old rectory, with
small salary. Dry, bracing climate.
Plenty of spare time could be guaran-
teed. Tennis, golf, boating, bathing,
hockey, bicycling, riding, driving, mo-
toring, and the use of stables"
Uncle had no less than 30 replies to
his advertisement. Oh! those replies!
Some of them were worth keeping.
After much consideration uncle weed
ed them down to five. And then the
fun began.
The five selected candidates were
each requested to come, in turn, to
have a personal interview; and as we
are ten miles from the nearest railway
station, we had to put each Of them up
for the night.
The first, Mr.. Lovelace, delicate,
'poetical-locking man, arrived on bit
teriy cold day. After the ten miles in
our pony cart, with Nebuchadnezzar In
q stubborn mood, Mr.. Lovelace pre-
scented fcrlorn appearance indeed. l
was sure that Uncle Bertram had
tried his best to be CHEEKY and equally
sure that he failed signally all along
the way
"Ah!" he said, as he brought his
.drenched victim into the hall, now
that we're home at last, Mr.. Lovelace,
all the trials of the journey will be for
gotten"
We were all in the hall and Con-
stance looked compassionately at the
half-drowned man, who rolled his eyes
towards hers as though he deserted In
them the only kindred spirit. Mother
said she hoped he had not taken cold,
that she had ordered fire in his bed
room, and that tea would be ready
-6OOn
After he had become a few degrees
less cold and few shades less blue,
at given signal-a cough from Un-
Gle Bertram-we all left the drawing
room, that the rector and his select
ed candidate might be alone.
between them, but after about an hour
and half uncle came out of the draw
ing room, excited and rather, cross,
and said to mother in the dining room:
MIR. Love)ace has taken chill and
will retire to his room at once. He
would like small quantity of quaker
oats, some sweet spirits of nitre, and
a hot water bottle.
Then he returned to the drawing
room, left the door open and said tc
Mr.. Lovelace: There is very good
express train early in the morning, anc
no doubt, with this chill, you will be
glad to get back to your aunt in Lon.
don as soon as possible"
Uncle, nothing daunted, speedily ar
ranged for the next man, Mr.. Robir
from Nottingham. to come on approval
The fates were kinder to him, mas
much as he arrived on fine warn
day; and observation-disclosures, driven bJ
George-the only :persqnswho can max,
him Cocaine home in his best style
UNCLE, who hates monotony, had thi:
time arranged quite different plan O
- campaign. :.
Tea was sent in for them in thi
study and Constance Though for tia
matter all of US. but Constance espe
cially), for obvious reasons was KEEP
out OF the way as much as possible.
However. we cleaned a good dea
about Mr.. Robin from George, who ha,
not wasted the opportunities afrorde,
by ten miles drive.
Hes a bounder," said George. AN,
can't possibly do. His chief reason 70
replyingcto the advertisement was tina
he might live in a rectory."
Mother - poor mother, - said sh
hoped he had been vaccinated an
wished she had not given him the hes
spare room. -
The atmosphere seemed charge
with possibilities, and we wondere
ioMs1oag Uncfs BertEam would. kee
him bottled up in the study: :Aftsts
time our patience and curiosity, swer
relieved, for when uncle came to us
saw by his face that.s:*the mans fat
was decreed; and although we wer