The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
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HE ATTENDS A BALL.

Policeman Barney Flynn stood be- fore the captain and saluted.
 ''I'd like" he said, fir to be ordhered on tn night pathrol mkt Chuesday."
 Why" asked the captain. Day work is considered preferable, and you've had that for some time"
 Policeman Flynn fingered his helmet nervously for a minute or two before replying.
 '' T is family matther," he said at last. but I'll tell ye tn wa-ay iv 1t. Ye see, tn good woman Is a mimber iv- lv-well. tn names shipped me mind. an what t is all about I've give up guessin' but she do be a mimber in good shtandin'. an she's r-running fir th office iy Grand Sieritary. 'Tw'u'd not be worryin' me- iv coorse, but fir tn ball that's to come off mkt Chuesday whin she wants me f'r to do bit iv csrGl Ddfsniti'. IT is fir you,' she says to me. to prove ye're a poplar ma-an with tn ladies. Ye must da-anee with thlm an be polite an nice sos they'll all be fallin' over thlmsilyes fir to vote f'r tn wife iv that fine gintleman, Barney Flynn Ono, t is a gr-reat show I'd ma-ake iv mesilf doin' tn s'ciety act at ball"
 Well, If you don't want to go, why don't you say so?" asked the captain. You can say No to her. can't you?"
 "F'r sure." answered Policeman Flynn. Iris no throuble at all to say No but 'tis tn divil's own job to ma ake 1t shtick. Ye may be firm in ye-er tone, but if ye think that inds th' matther 'tis fir you to guess wanst more. I'm sorry about tn ball Mag gie,' says ye-er wife to ye-er gir-rl, lukkin' har-rd at you; ''tw'u'd be a grreat chanst fir ye, but yeer fathers that silfish he won't go.' An tn mkt da-ay she says: 'Ye might as we'll give awa-ay tn new dhress I made ye, fir ye-er father will give ye no oppor- thunity fir to wear it.
 "Oh. well. I'll order you on night duty for next Tuesday" said the cap tain, with haste that showed he had no disposition to discuss the subject of home rule.
 Policeman Flynn went home jubilant He ought to have known better than to think he had so easily outwitted his wife, but he had the self-eomplacency of the average man in these affairs and considered the matter settled.
 lis matther iv gr-reat ray-grit to me-" he said to his wife. that tn captin has ordhered me on night juty fsI. ua-ade up fir to go to tn ball"
 Whether Mrs. Flynn, with feminine intuition. had surmised what would happen. and had planned a sharp trick for her lord and master must ever re- main a matter of conjecture, but eer- tain it is that she smiled grimly as she replied: Thin 'tis all r-rfght, f'r tn ball s been cha -anged to Win sday night"
 Policeman Flynn tried to look hap pY, but it was a hard task.
 Iris a fort'nit thing" he said, TT t l'avts me free to go with you and .,iaggie" But the next night he came h lme with q long face and announced that he had made mistake in the Dlutt S. IL Ntto NNNAltStlstg lDdl lie was to go on night duty.
 Mrs Flynn smiled even more grim ly than before as she said: "Oh. shtrange is tn wa-ays iv tn world that both iv HIS sh'u'd be wr-rong. made tn mista=ake iv thinkin' thay'H tha-anFed tn ball nIght."
 Then Policeman Flynn surrendered internationally He realized that he was in a trap from which there was 10 esccpe.
 I'll go' was all he said
 Of course it was necessary to give him instruction as to his duties in the premises. He was to be present as sort of political lieutenant to help her in her campaign for office, and il was important that he should do his work i'll the most effective manner,
 '.Iv eoorse, Barney" she explained, ''ye must give ye-er attintion to thim that has votes, and 'tis not tn min in this ca-ase. Ye must da-ance-"
 Lave me out iv that" he hastily interrupted. Sure. 'ti5 you that