The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-02-25

states where ii has been adopted and
where 1t is In full force to-day. tll1hk
womans mission lie not Mt the ballot
box-but you can put II down that the
New Woani, Bo-cnllcd. is setting pace
and making a place for herself that sho
will never abandon Bit because I am
"ngit1 woman suffrage In no way
dlmlnishea In my eyes Susan B. Anthony.
she ID a. big woman and a
woman who has done much for
her ser,--and IL America lie ever going
to have any Grand old Women, Susan
b. should be one of them.
But dismissng the fair sex for the mo-
inent, ] want to record a new scheme
that takes the bakery. Tho other night
I was to attend banquet, and 1t was
understood that there would BIO n few
bottles passed and n few pitchers ssof
punch would DO steered down the table.
One gentleman who loves n SOFT drink OF
that kind and who would not for tho
world have 1t appear that he would forget
his good mMnners by playing the Oliver
Twist act and asking for more. went to
man who sits tho water wagon and
told him that he always enjoyed himself
at a banquet or gathering of that sort, IL
he was with congenial companyr-with
those whom he knew well. and told the
water wagon saint to turn to his left as
he entered the banquet hall and sitfat
the table with him. The gutleless water
wagon man said all right, and he sat
himself at the table With his bibulousS
friend, and to his surprise noticed that
another victim of aqua pura was along
side him.. When the merry-making com
menced and the wine and the punch and
the bottled beer commenced to come that
way. the water wagon fellows found
"a 10 y,,t,, has ,a Yran nd nn
said you fellows who are not drinking
anything Just push your rations over
here-and 10. and behold, he had all that
no could comfortably sit to-and no ono
was the wiser. And It was not until the
two water wagon men compared notes
that they discovered that their friend
was ''onto' their thirst-and made thei
best OF It, That Is what call tho newest
graft. 1t may be an old game-but tho
scheme was entirely original with my
friend, whose name shall be nameless hero
forover,nore.
But speaking OF banduetsisn't ban
quet a dry affair to tho man who rides
with the street sprinkler? Did you ever
20 and sit down with n crowd of good
fellows and watch them progressing In
their wine-consuming game? Sou sit
there and you wait for something to
come along you stare wildly Mt the we'll
filed glasses In front of yoli--you know
/ that you must not partake. for the pledge
/ is lip-and the other fellows. Well, they
drink and they enjoy 1t, and the next
day they are at work, happy, and you
know, If you were once a ruminy. that
had you INDUCED you would perhaps be
Off for a week.
{ IL the wine was not in front of you,
defying you, you would think nothing OF
it-but IL you will sit still and look at 1t
hard. and every few minutes take u
drink of leo water you fnahy float out
into space and dissolve. and then find
yourself rnaterIalizing. and you see q
figure in front'of you with your features,
hut resembling in all other aspects Thirty
Cents You fail, somehow, to fall into
the spirit of the occasion. You cannot
laugh at what seems to tickle the other
sfellow--the fellow Mt your left and at
your right, who has gotten outside of
about a quart of extra dry-and finally
long hefore the other fellows have even
thought of going home. you conclude that
your wife may be sick. or you remember
an engagement. Ind you pull out, quit
the game, and not at all reluctantly.
And you figure 1T out that you would
give a. great IDEAL If yoil, could drink In
Lords Prayer. which asks that you bc
led not into temptation-bnt you will go
again Tomorrow night. II that is the date
of your invitation.
] am violating no confidence ia thus
presenting a portrait of tho water wagon
man--the grim soldier who has resolved
before high heaven that he will never
again toucn or taste the UNI
clean thing-l am simply presenting Il
picture that exists every time banquet
is puled-at least If / am there. And
yet n banquet Is all right. The man who
never drank can go and fall into the
humor of it-haVe a high old time-but
the pilgrim who has taken the thirty
third degree In the corn-likker game and
cut it out--must needs remember that
sublime thirst which was his in other
years, and no matter how much fun the
isn't in it--and I know It. And so do you,
II you ever Travelled that way.
The only time In my knowledge when
water filled the bill to nicety-played
the leading part, and pleased all who
We're ont, was n little overfa year ago
Mt High Point, N C. the occasion being
the annual banquet of the Manufacturers
Club of that progressive city. There was
nothing served stronger than deeprock.
gate, of Durhaln,S once a candidate for
Vice-President on the prohibition ticket.
gave the guests a talk on water and
1t was such nseloquent tribute and so
thrilled the crowd that had a man been
drinking wine he would have been
ashamed OF IT..
But 1t secms the style to use wine at
banqucts, and II a ship is phrlstetied, it
will never ride the waves il bottle of
water Is broken. 1t takes wine to do
these things bht y am going 10 insist
that 1t Is all style, habit, custom.
Another thing those who make those
happy impromtu speeches at banunets
tell me that they generally want to at
least taste.tI s.liltker,'' before they can
do the subject Justice. They can get mp
and talk in public meeting where there
Is no spread, they can write. stun to
beat the hand, but II there's anything
doing In the way of drinks, those who
how I'm II