The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-20
HOMETOWN HAPPENINGS.

Big, yellow pumpkins are selling at
the grocery for five cents apiece. and
We editor is filling up on them and get
ting ready for the fall campaign. He
is no COW, but he never misses any,
thing to I'LL up on.
Mrs. Rufus Snyder. wife of the boot
and shoe man, went to her back door
the other day to find a humping big
tramp stealing plums from the trees.
She hit him one swat with her fist
and broke two of his ribs, and he is in
Jail under the doctors care. When
Hometown woman gives you her hand
she gives it hard.
It has come to be so well understood
in social circles in this village that ye
editor never plays poker that he is
seldom or never asked to take a, hand
in a game. We once lost fifteen cents
on a hand and took a solemn vow
never to play again.
Farmer Johnson brought US in two
magnificent squashes the other day
and renewed his cash subscription to
the Banner. Later on we are prom
ised a bushel of turnips. With a lit
tie help from Providence, we hope to
get through the winter in good shape.
During the month of August. as
near as we can figure it, the people of
Y
over forty bushels of huckel berries
There were smiles of contentment and
huckelbeTry pie from morning to
night, and not one single lawsuit was
Instituted.
We do not wish to appear egotistfcaI
+ in the eyes of our brother editors but
at the same time we feel like annOunc-
ing that the Banner Office has made ar
rangements by which 1t is hereafter to
be supplied with two clean towels per
week. Those things must come with
metropolitan journalism.
Mrs David Carew will accept the
sympataies OF the Banner in this her
hour of sorrow Word reached her
the other day that her sister Maria.
living in Indiana. got hung head down
ward on a fence and was dead when
they found her. Death must come to
all. Some of US will die head down
wards some head upwards and some
get tangled UP in a steam threshing
machine.
in paying a visit to her brother in
the country last week. Mrs. James
CornhiH. one of the social leaders of
Hometown, undertook to pat a spotted
bull on the nose. She was tossed
twenty feet high and came down to
break an arm. and Will be unable to
spank her baby for weeks to come.
We tender her our sympathies and vet
at the same time advise her to pat
Randers after this. They have no
horns.
Mr. Henry Hemingway. the hard
ware man, Keeps money in the house.
and missing the roll the other day he
startled the town by crying out that
he had been robbed. When the excite
ment was at its height he found that
the wife had put the money in another
place Our roll never causes US or any
one else the slightest anxiety.
We regret to announce that Miss
Flora Henderson, daughter Of the pop
ular blacksmith, kicked at a yellow
dog on the street the other day and
hit telegraph pole instead and broke
three Of her toes. The pole was
knocked six inches out of plumb by
the kick. Tramps and yellow dogs
should fight clear of Hometown.
Il WISH said Mrs. Oldcastle. that 7
had Mrs. Waddington's savior-faire.
! Yes replied her hostess. carelessly
/ tossing her $500 dog-collar on the dress
I ing table, Il ike it. too. I was lool1in'
at some downtown at Sellum & Send
/ am 8 the other day, but they didn't have
any left that was anything Ike hers -
e CHICAGO Recprd-EIeTa1d-