davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09

as any one and l will give you credit for making your story seem plausible, but don't try to hand it to me. Now. just between the two of us here, tell me, on the dead level where have you been for the last twenty years?"
 Rip looked behind and all around to make sure that no one was listen ing, and then he said, confidentially: Keep this under your hat and l will put you wise to the whole thing. You remember the night I left here and went up into the mountains after l had that awful scrap with my wife? Well. l DID meet two men carrying a keg of liquor. That part of it Is straight. Whenever you find n9n up in a lonely part of the mountaIr3 cutting through the underbrush witt , a keg of corn whiskey you can tLmble on it that they're moenshinerS. knew they fell in with them and tired to be friendly. and finally they set 'em up They must have figured that l vas a revenue officer or some other kind of government employe, first, because I couldn't afford to wear very good clothes. and, second. because I had my gun with me So when they gave me this drink they put in enough knock out drops to kill horse. I passed away, and when I came to they had done the skidoo, l slept until the next afternoon, and when I woke up the sun was shining in my face and I had an awful case of bust-head. I was afraid to come home. and l knew that l had about played my string in this town, so after sitting there awhile and thiking over the situation. I hit the long trial for the West By tell ing a new hard luck story in every
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09

would any one believe him? And if they did believe him. and even if he could prove 1t, would hls situation be improved? Was 1t better to be a crook than a lunatic?
 He took, a desperate chance and told without rhetorical flourish the sweet and simple story that had so charmed the townspeople on the uay of his re- turn. He told of the dark night on the mountain pathway, of the rumbling thunder and the vivid flashes of light ming. of meeting the two elfish little strangers and how they beckoned him to the mountain top, there in the gath ering gloom of the night, and of the strange revels, the stupefying draught and then-forgetfukpe Also of that awakening in a new and unfamiliar world, and how he had groped his way back to the scenes of his happy youth.
 When he had concluded the hard ware clerk, the man who worked in the grain elevator, the assistant post master sthe proprietor of the feed store, the owner of the Gem grocery and the prescription clerk from McIntyre's drug store, all seated gravely in the jury box. exchanged significant winks and whispered one to another There's nothing to it--hes dippy."
 Next week MT. Van Wrinkle, like many another man who attains a sky rocket popularity, found himself down and out and forgotten. He was in snug little apartment at q State lnsti- tuition. engaged in writing his memoirs on the whitewashed wall with @ broken nail
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09

pious element by going in from the street.
 There had been many changes in the old tapreom since Rip had seen 1t, twenty years before. Two new slot machines had been installed. The pic- ture of the welter-weight champion had been moved to the other side of the icebox and a strangely cornplica- ted device. known as a cash register, was backed up against the large mir TOT. But there was the same old line of empty Benedictine bottles on the top shelf and the lunch was appar- ently the same.
 Rip got stuck for the first round, which meant that the Alderman had to produce, and then the two friends sat at a quiet side table to calk of the happy days of yore.
 There have been many changes in twenty years" sighed Rip. T have lost all track of baseball averages and I don't dare to talk politics because find that the great parties have swapped issues. The red-handed rev
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09

new generation. It was a long walk, but l finally arrived. didn't want to own up to my record for the last twenty years. and ] knew that even liar of my exuberant fancy would have hard work to fill in imaginary details for such a long period, so l fell back on the old gag. You know, when a fellow goes off on a bat and his family have the police looking for him, and wakes up in hotel in Providence three weeks later, the only way for him to square himself is to say that he doesn't remember anything tn at happened. So I fixed up the story about being in a trance. With the hair and the whiskers and the bad suit of clothes I certainly looked as if l had been curled up in the weeds for at least twenty years. I remem- bered where l had planted the gun because I had been too lazy to carry old barrel and landed in here and handed the natives what I believe to be one of the masterpieces of Ameri- can fiction, You can see for your self what a hit I've made. I don't have to answer any embarrassing ques- tions I have discovered the only sure method of wiping out a long and crooked past l simply say that l have been asleep for twenty years and have been leading a blameless life. You might not think that ] could put that kind of story across and make 1t stick, but I have, and if my repu- tation keeps on growing. I wouldn { be a bit surprised to receive a good offer to go on the lecture platform"
 "You are certainly a wonder" said Alderman von Kidder. Next to the
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09

Interstate Commerce Commission, have no doubt that your sleep Is the longest on record won't tip off the truth to any one. You stand by me in politics and indorse my official re- cord and I'll indorse your story about the long sleep, and that will be about a stand-off."
 So of all the people in that thriving young city Won Kidder was the only one who knew for a certainty that Rip Van Wrinkle was a fake. The story was repeated over and. over, with in- creaslng wonderment At last 1t got into the newspapers, with big four col- umn pictures of Mir. Van Wrinkle be- fore and after his remarkable experi- ence in the Catskills, with pictures of his wife. his old homestead, the gun, the whiskers. the dog, &sc., with a map of the Catskill Mountains and an x mark indicating the spot where he slept and then the most doubting soul seemed to be convinced.
 Ali except one. There had lately come to town young doctor who was working hard to build up a practice. He had no reputation and 1t was con- trary to the ethics of shis profession to advertise by. the ordinary methods, but he sent for reporter and had himself interviewed as an expert upon
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09
CATS EYES TELL TIME.

Secret Long Known to the Chinese Civ
 en to Q French Traveller.
 So long as there is a cat anywhere near it is not necessary to have a watch or a clock, for the animals eye will tell you the time of day. The first European to learn of the use of cat as time indicator was M Hue. who, in a work on the Chinese empire, tells how he was initiated into the mys- tery.
 M. Hue and a party of friends set out to visit a Chinese Christian mis- sion settlement among the peasantry. They met a young Chinaman on the road and to test his intelligence they asked him if he could tell them the time. The native looked up at the sky, but the clouds hid the sun from view and he couldn't read any answer there. Suddenly he darted away to a farm and returned in a few moments with a cat in his arms. Pushing up it's eyelids with his hand he told Hue to look at them, at the same time vol unteerlng the information that it was not noon yet. While they were pug zliAg over the case the boy went abou, his business.
 When the party reached the village they asked the Christian converts Il they could tell tae time by a cats eyes and how it was done. ImuIsdi- ateIy there was a wild hunt and all the cats obtainable in the neighborhood were brought before them.
 The Chinese pointed out that the pu- pils of a cats eyes were gradually narrower up to l2 noon, when they be- came scarcely pereeptible lines. drawn perpendieularlX across the eye and
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09

town that I struck I soon cultivated my imagination and became more than ever convinced that man who can live by conversation is foolish to go out and work eight hours every day. I finally landed in Pittsburg, where became a promoter and a merger. would find two men competing In some line of manufacture and I would in- duce them to combine two plants worth $5,000 each Into a stock com pany and issue $1o0,0o0 worth of stock and I would get half of the stock for providing the conversation. It was a great scheme while 1t lasted, but fln- ally a man whose flow of language was a little stronger than mine came along and took all my stock companies and put them into one big company and froze me out.
 well. I wandered about from one place to another, accepting any em- ployment which did~not call for actual labor. My qualifications consisted of being a good fellow and having a thirst that never faltered. I was a lobbyist
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09
WHY KIDNEY DISEASE
 IS DANGEROUS.
Neglect of the First Warning Symp- toms is the Prime Cause of so Many Deaths from the Dreaded
 Brlght's Disease.
It is Easily Durable fin the Early Stages.

Kidney diseases are so destructive te human life because they do not manifest alarming symptoms until the constitu- tion is seriously weakened and the strength exhausted. Then, too often, the remedies employed by many physi. clans are of indifferent or doubtful value, and the patient rapidly sinks under the disease. The wisest course is to apply reliable kidney ana liver remedy on the fYSf a6pearaAcS of the symptoms. A little uneasiness in the small of the back, digestive troubles, bowel irregularities and disorder in the urinary organs are matters of small moment in the estims- tion of strong men and women, yet they have a serious meaning. They show clearly that the kidneys are suffering and need help, which must be forth coming at once to prevent serious, per- haps fatal consequences. A few doses of Prickly Ash Bitters at this time would prove of incalculable value in restoring the weakened organs to health. An
 
 Prickly Ash Bitters when the disease Is yet in the early stage will save hundreds of dollars in doctors bills, besides ths suffering that would surely followshould the disease be allowed to fasten itself in the body. The excellent curative power of Prickly Ash Bitters is not confined to the first stages of kidney disease. It iG equally efieaeious in severe or chronic eases. Physicians have used 1t as a last resort, in cases that dehed their best efforts, with the most brilliant results, and 1t has shown its superiority overths many so-ealled kidney cures, now being loudly advertised, in instances innua merable.
 Accept no substitute. Insist on having
 the genuine Prickly Ash Bitters with tue
 large hEurs ju red on the front label. Sold at Drun Stores. sLOOner bOtsial.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09

quaintances had to make the best of it. They shook hands with him and slapped him on the back and told him how we'll he was looking, which was more or less of q joke, because they had hoped that he never would show up again, and when they saw the fringe around the trousers and the coat torn up the back they knew that he had come home, to sponge a living in the only town that would stand for him. The clipped in and gave him enough money to get a shave and a hair cut and a servieeable ready made suit Within three days he felt strong enough to get out and work the old familiar circuit. All he had to do was to wander into e buffet and begin his yarn about meeting the little men with the keg up in the Catslills and how they juggled the drinks on him and had him in the hay for twenty years and he could always find some one who would buy just to keep him go- ing. Not barkeep in town believed his story, but they strung% him along because he encouraged trade and they wanted to see how far he would go, end he thought he was getting away with if.
 4 week had elapsed and he was still baslxing in the sunlight of publicity and standing on the most prominent corners, so that he could be pointed out as a celebrity. Aleck von kidder, gho had been a friend of his boyhood and was now the venerable ana re- speeted Aldermen from the Second ward. happening to meet him in front of the '. M. c. A, suggested that they stroll down to the Elite Cafe to shake the box and try to whipsaw the Aouse. T don't like to go in there," BemAFked Rip. '"They have an old tap against me and I may get the seltzer bottle"
 Tt has been twenty years since you stood them up" said Aleek. 'Mebbe they have forgotten all about it."
 So they went down an alley and entered the Elite by the back door. because Aleck. who was in politics, did not wish to queer himself with the
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09
OLD STORIES REVISED RIP VAN TWINKLE \: nt ta"ssas

One week after the return of Rip Wan wrinkle to his native town he sat In the taven hitting up few schnapps with one of the few remaining friends of his youth, While he was feeling a mite quiffy he opened up and told what had really happened to him dur ing his long absence.
 Things had certainly been coming aoft for Rip since his sensational en- try along Main street. A good many people when they first saw him hiding behind the mat of whislzers thought nc was a divine healer or a come-on who was advertising some new kind Of medicine Later on, when it was told around that he had been asleep in the mountains, within three miles of the Court House for twenty long years all the other town liars pulled down the green blinds and went out of business.
 It was a hard blow to a thriving and ambitious young city to have the prize tank come floating back after all these years. His relatives and &C.,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09
Is Disease a Crime ?

Not very long ago, popular magazine published an editorial article in which 3he writer asserted, in substance, that all disease should be regarded as criminal Certain it is, that much of the sickness and suffering of mankind Is due to the violation of certain of Natures laws. But to say that all sickness should be regarded as criminal, must appeal to every reasohable individual as radically wrong. cruel, yes criminal, to condemn the poor, weak. over-wOrked housewife who sinks under the heavy load of household cares and burdens, and suffers from weak aesses, various displacements of pelvic organs and other Arrangements peculiar to her sex.
 Freauent bearing of children. with it's ex- acting demands upon the system. coupled with the care worry and labor of rearing large family. is often the cause of weak messes, derangements and debility which are aggravated by the many household cares, and the hard, and neVer-ending work which 4he mother is called upon to perform. DT. Pierce. the maker of that world-famed rem sdy for woman's peculiar weaknesses and lis-DF. Pierce's FRVorite PrescPiptlon-eays that one of the greaheSt obstacles to the cure Df this class of maladies Is the fact that the p0or, over-Worked housewife can not get the needed rest from her many household cares and labor to enable her to secure rom the use of hIs Prescription its full benefits. It IS a matter of frequent experience. he says, fn bis extensive practice in these cases 10 meet with those in which his treatment fails by reason of the patients inability to abstain from hard work long enough to be cured With those suffering from pTulapsus, ante Varsion and retToversion Of the uterus CT pther displacement of tho woman1y organs tt ts very necessary that. in addition to tsk- tng bis sFavDrite Prescription they abstain From being very much. or for long periods. on their feat All heavy lifting or stFatning of any ldnd should also be avoided. As much UubzdoCF air as possible, with moderate light nzercise is also very important, Let the patient observe these rules and the Favor tte Prescription will do the rest.
 DE Pierce's Medical Adviser is sent free on receipt of stamps to pay expense of mailing oftlA Send to Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buhalo, N. Y, 2i one-cent stamps for pa- pef-c0Vered, or al stamps for clOth-bonnd.
 If sick consult the Doctor, free of charge hy letter. All such eOmmunieA tions arc held saCredly confidential
 pr. Pieree's Pleasant Pellets invigorate .a2a regulate stomach, liver and bowels.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09

and a real estate boomer and secretary of campaign committee. Finally, when I had worked every graft I could think of l decided to come back to my native town and live on my re- tations and old friends. You may have noticed that when a man has petered out everywhere else he always lands back on his kin. They can't shake him without getting themselves talked about knew that all of my debts here had been wiped out under the statutes of limitations, and that could come back here and get busy with a
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09
TaSN sOeaoss SHOWS MERE vAN,vtlHsu.g
 Ssoks .vn e

olutionist has become the conservative leader, and the talk that was regard ed as anarchy when did my famous disappearing act Is now commended as safe and sane reasoning. A few years ago the man who had money was ad- mired and respected; now he seems to be regarded as a little worse than a horsethief and not quite as bad as a murderer. Twenty years ago was a bum. I. come back now to find that am an advanced Socialist"
 Come off" said the Alderman. T admire a good piece of fiction as well
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09

the possibility of a human being re- malning in a state of coma for a period of twenty years. In this. interview the doctor was mentioned as a celebrated specialist" both his house address and his office address being mentioned and a two column picture ran with the story. The doctor demonstrated that it would be absolutely impossih!e for tbe essential organs of the body to
 resume their normal functions after a period of suspension exceeding in
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09

after that dilation recommended. Hue examined the eyes of several cats and verified what the Chinese had told him.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-09

sleeping in the mountains and told the candid truth about his twenty years of Jumping board bills, running up bad debts and moving from town to town,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-03-14
TRAGEDY BEHIND THE STAGE
Member of 1.-THE Wonderland"
Chorus Drinks CarboIic Acid
While Play Is in Progress.

Washington, March 13.-WiHiam Thomas
of Saginaw, Mich, a member Of the
chorus of THE Wonderland
performing 1t the Columbia theatre here,
committed suicide tonight by thinking
carbClic acid while the play was in pro-
greSS. Thomas was an admiTCr of IdTa
Gordon, a 16-year-Old girl. also a member
of the The suicide was caused
by disappointment because she would not
rsciprncate his affections. After the
show was over Miss Gordon went to the
hospital TO which Thomas had been re-
moved and, on seeing his body. said;
It did not know he thought so much
of me. I did not mean to break his
heart. He misjudged me"
Thomas was - years old. The couple
were in the property room Of the the
atre at S:45 tonight. Thomas sat on the
side of a table with a goblet in one hand
and a bottle in the other. Pouring out
tire poison, he accused her Of playing
with his affections and, saying Good
bye, old girl drank the poison before
she could stop him."
The play continued uninterruptedly, the
sudierce not being aware of what had
transpired.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-03-14
PANIC AT OPERA HOUSE
Burning of Celluloid Films Fills
American Fork Audience
With Terror.

American Fork, March ia genuine
stampede was narrowly averted at the
opera house last night, which might have
resulted disastrously had it not been for
a few who managed to keep cool and
succeeded in getting the crowd qUieted
down. A travelling company which has
been giving a series Of shows here for
the past week were giving a moving pic
tUre exhibition last night when suddenly
the CellulOid films caught fire from the
gasoline and were Immediately a mass Of
flames, filling the lower end of the hall.
Almost Immediately the entire audience
were on their feet, eager to get out OF
exits succeeded in getting out. The opera
tor OF the machine was but a N
in ~smOthering the flames with the aid
of a carpet that was near, but not until
he was severely burned about the hands
and face. AS soon as the flames were
e~Xtinguished order was restored and the
show continued. No damage resulted
other than that lore to the picture ma
chine. which amounted to about $500.
Funeral services over the remains of
the infant daughter Of Frank Birch Of
Eureka were held here yesterday. The
body was inferred In the City cemetery.
This section of the state was visited
by a severe wind storm, accompanied by
rain and snow last night. The storm con-
rinued up until noon today. The roads
were getting fairly p~1sSable, until this
storm, which has again made them very
Juicy"
A committee from the Commercial club
CT this place is in Salt Lake today
selecting furniture for the club rooms.
The work of fitting the rooms UP is al
nest completed. the papering being done
end the painting nearing completion. The
plumbers win be done in q day or two and
the rooms viii then be ready for the
NJ o. Randolph returned home last
night from a three days trip to Richfield,
Utah.
F. NJ. Brown. pharmacist in William
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-03-14
OUT FOR THE MINERS
Great Mass Meeting in New
York Protests Against the
RaiIrOading of Accused,

New York, March IA mass meeting
called for tonight at Grand Central pal
ace by the Socialist Labor party was pro
ductive of an audience which filled the
hall. The meeting was in protest against
the imprisonment Of certain members of
the Western Federation of Miners in
Colorado and Idaho in connection with
the murder of Ex-Governor Steunenberg.
John G. Chase, ex-mayor of Haverhil
Mass, was the first speaker. He pro-
tested against what he termed the rail-
reading Of Meyer, Haywood, st. John
and Pettibone, and said similar mass
meetings would be called as long as a
was necessary for the workers of New
York to protest against conditions that
exist in Colorado and Idaho.
on the platform were such Socialists
as Ben Hanford. Morris Hillquft. Alex
ander Jonas and Meyer London. Mother
Jones, the champion of the Pennsylvania
miners. was also present.
The speaker following Chase defended
the accused men and dwelt on their high
character
Morris Hiliquit sketched the history OF
the labor movement in Colorado and said
the methods introduced by Governor Pea
body were worse, If possible. than those
that had made Russia famous through
out the world A conviction in the case
against the accused men Vould never fol-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-03-14
UNIQUE CASE IN COURT
Complaining Witness Is the Prose
cutting Attorney, Who viii
Prosecute Himself.

Monroe, March 13-The trial Of Attorney
J|orgensen comes Up in the Richfield City
Justices court next Thursday. This Is
the outcome of the fight between Mr..
Jorgensen and County Attorney Stew
art that was pulled off last week at d
meeting OF count commissioners Mr..
Stewart g~raciously complained on him
self but JOrgensen preferred to stand
trial. The case is quite interesting. for
the reason that the complaining witness
is the county attorney, the judge is the
county treasurer, the defendants the eX-
county clerk. the two chief witnesses arc
the county clerk and the chairman Of
county commissioners.
Yesterday tie Utah Association Of
Credit Men took charge of the Elsmore
mercantile firm of Marquardsen- Jensen
& Co. The c~ollapsing OF this Institution
created quite a surprise in business cir
Giles. For many years this house has been
one of the most lively and energetic firms
in the county. but the refusal of the
stockholders TO put up more cash when
funds were most needed caused it's undo
ing Dan Hansen. the former manager, IS
retained as temporary manage for the
ca edit Mems association.