The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-06
Hoot Mon

employment at legltmatf work In tne soPhomole
at the state university This division of the academic
department is continually looking for trouble Fist
fights wrestling matches and mob actions are varied
with plain assault and assaults frlled with eggs The
members of this organization have not yet descended
arson condescended to mayhem, but the season
is not far advanced.
Presumably the faculty and the university council
which is said to have cured football of its terrors
know of the existence of the sophomore class and evil
IDENTIFY both Of these worthy bodies wait in fear and
trembling the outcome of another sophomore raid.
They have hopes that the year will be finished with
out any casualties calling for the consideration of the
grand jury, but they not confident The police
force of Minneapolis has given some attention to
the subject, but apparently it has approached
the problem in dilletante, unprofessional
There to be tradition that policeman should
not break students head with club for fear SOME
of the brains which the state is developing at largo
expense should be lost Policemen do not have this
coy hestancy with the rest of when resist arrest
Why should special privilege hedge SOPHOMORE
Twenty years ago in Minneapolis bright and
promising young newspaper man suddenly found him
self separated from his job No, he not removed
the cause was the removal of the paper to another
office 1t had become consolidated with rival sheet
He went to another newspaper and applied for place
as proofreader. The magnate who ran the proofroon
said: have not any jobs open at present, but hold
on, there is one fellow who gets drunk every Satur-
day night; you come round next Saturday night. IL
that FELLOW is drunk again you get his job. The I'M
employed member of the greatest profession earta
strict temperance man, but he has confessed
since that he spent Wednesday, Thursday and Friday
trying to think of for the existence of liquor
On Saturday he went around and enough the
fellow drunk again and he got the place. Anothcs
testimony to the value of the drink habit has just
to light in the state Of Wyoming An editor
in that state who had been living the bark from
the wood that brought in subscription until
he was about ready to give the paper for year for
- II
visit from wild-eyed who laid down 81 on the
p imposing stone. He delinquent subscriber who
had been drunk for three weeks and had gone about
the town distributing money to his creditors in
perfectly reckless The evidences of the value
of liquor drinking not frequent that
afford to overlook any of them. They remind of
the occasion when Lac Stafford made 100000 by
getting up late. He had appointment to buy
Minneapolis suburb which had been plated between
here and the Minnesota river but when he got the
appointed place another had preceded him and
bought the whole tract. This dropped 100000
on the deal before he thru with it.
The campaign of the women for clean Mime
apolis has already developed it's humors. At the
meeting at the mayors office Tuesday afternoon City
Attorney Healy was brought in and bombarded with
questions about smoke laws nuisance laws and finally
about billboards What could be done with them I
Just like man the city attorney could not that
anything could be done with them. What nothing ?
women understand 1t. thought
the law could do anything it laid its hands Finally
one committeeman with grave face framed in a
picture hat asked the city attorney nothing posi-
lively nothing could be done to billboards.
''No, nothing''
Nothing even if they are not artistic not nice?''
, The corporation counsel sadly admitted that art
did not dictate whether billboard should be set up
2 on a mans own property.
One of the committee having suggested that SONS
of the delegates might be embarrassed by the fact
? that their yards not the cleanest added
that all this work should like charity begin home
whereupon another committeewoman leaned over ana
D whispered: 81 began this morning had shampoo. u
Did you ever happen to 60 into hardware stors
to look at pocketknives revolvers battleaxes
and have sweet towheaded girl about % try to tell
you about them9 Did you ever happen to ask wonar
/ clerk to explain the workings of lawn mower Il
your darkened minds tried it in department store
the other day. -
'Does grass catcher go with this machine7,'
''Yep, guess 500
How do you fix it on9' (shows YOU as woman
would haste straig hten gloye.)
'What is the gear7' .-....t
i t'of this here (playing for time) guess it !,
:, just right 49,. ~.,<,~ 9 =
J. ''Does it easyq'
IS 81 should say Lookye here (trundles it },
J. the foor) - - } = : :
l, Poor innocent she never bucked a lawn move
e thru pigweed ON an upgrade. Men with red whisker
!, and barytone voices ought to sell lawn mowers
- didn't buy from that girl for fear it would turn on
h to be a sewing machine French clock.
-
e The buyer of real estate has no business to max
y restrictions He should wait until he has held lot
thru one panic and paid park taxes for years an
# contributed to the money monopoly his hearts bloc
on the mortgage before he begins to assert himse-
friend OF mine who owns the adjoining lot to hi
homestead would like to get rid of it, but he under
stands the restriction business. Whoever buys thu
lot must agree to build house more than ten fec
IN w1ae running to peak to let in the sunlight on tn
"a next lot He must avoid dogs and panolas and if hi
children catch whooping cough the title reverts othe
wise he can do about he pleases fiat Shout
be built in the next block in which he must pa
40 damages or submit to be scalped in the admralt
lie court.
ae Did you ever look thru the back of a magazir
~ with view to sending for everything advertise
ii which hit your faney9 It would take an immen