davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
WHY NOT A SOUTHERN MAN?
- - H.rnId /.

EDITOR Washington Herald:
OF all the talk about Presidential tim
ber IN the Southland there has been
much lately-there is an indefinable air
or atmosphere Of "it would be well, but
Il can't be" Why not?
There are wars and rumors Of wars
in the councils Of both the great par
ties: the party In power, noted fos the
solidity OF its organization and its ability
to unity on some one candidate at the
last moment. will IN all probability follow
out its usual custom and take the pill
whether sweet or not.
The Democratic party. noted for its fac
tional disputes and dissensions, carried on
even unto the crucial moment-election
day-will probably fulfill prophesies along
that line
When. in the words OF a distinguished
statesman, the battle OF Salamis was
fought. each Of the victorious generals
voted himself first in honors-but all
agreed that Themistocles was second.
When the tide in the affairs of men.
which, taken az the flood, leads on to for
tune, arrives, and the various political
parties assemble in solemn conclave to
voice the will of their people, each dele
cation Of the party represented symbol
.cally by a venerable old lady. Miss De-
m0cracy. votes itself first in honors, but
an agree that the delegation whose pill
grimage is from the land Of the Palm
and Jessamine is second in the matter OF
loyalty and faithfulness to its old love.
TO whom II feeIs that her ways are its
ways. her people its people
Let US. then be up and doing .
let US be a hero in the strife.
Why may she not lift up her voice and
proclaim to all the world a new David
from among her children-tO combat these
Goliaths Of commerce? A Bacon, Daniel,
Morgan, ad ininitum.
A D-a-n-i-e-l-a Hearst;
A B-a-c-O-n-a Bryant
Write them together. yours is a fair name
Sound them, it doth become the mouth as wen
Weigh them, II is as heavy; conjurc them.
Brutus viii start a spirit as soon as Caesar.
The time is ripe; the moment propitious.
and the man is there. Why not?
J. w KREUTTNER
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
MONDAY. NOVEMBER z. 1906,
Mr.. Gompers is Satisfied.

President Compers. Of the American
Federation of Labor, for whom this news
paper entertains high respect must
possess an easy-going mind if he is
satisfied. as reports indicate with the
result OF the elections.
Mr.. GOmpers did not achieve a politi-
cal victory in any Congressional district.
ON the other hand. the men who were
especially marked for slaughter emerged
from the conflict with increased maiOri-
ties This is especially true of Speaker
Cannon. who. in his speech at DaRville
upon the occasion of his denomination.
met Mr.. Gempers with defiant declara-
ton. and who has been returned to Con-
gress with larger majority than he en-
joyed two years ago.
The fact is that in the history OF this
country no attempt to convert organized
labor into a vast political machine has
ever succeeded. Our laboring men are
TOO Independent and intelligent to be
led into any movement of that kind.
Experience has shown that they vote
patrioucally and with excellent judgment.
but they viii not sacrifice their independ-
ence. II is a good thing that this IS so.
Their organization is the stronger for Il.
In the campaign just closed Mr.. Gompers
did not display the qualities of leader
ship formerly characteristic of the man.
Indeed, the results of the election indi-
cate the Federation itself was quick 20
discover the unwisdOm of the movement.
whatever the merits Of the cases of
which he made issue.
Mr.. GOmpeTs is not alone in his salts
faction. Il is shared by the entire coun-
try, and doubtless by the Federation,
even though the point of view is not
the same.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
Mistaken for a Deer.

Some day a bright young man will
write a literary trifle entitled How II
/ Feels to Be Mistaken for a Deer" and
wake up the next morning in the spark
/ ling company of Mark Twain, George
Ade, and Dooley. Necessarily he viii be
one whose hide has never been pepper
ed by the prowling deer hunter; for the
individual who has actually been mis-
taken for a deer, however sprlghtly OF
Wit before the catastrophe, will never
again be in the proper frame of mind
to give the subject the festive and yet
judicious treatment it deserves. Like the
Shakespearean poet. his mind must of i'm
agination be compact. with no harsh re-
mindeTs Of the autumnal woods in the
shape Of shot secreted in the fieshy
portions Of his anatomy.
There is not yet sufficient data at hand
upon which 10 base a comparison of the
er-hunting death rate Of 1876 with that
Of other years. The subject is a live
one at this season. hOwever-especially
when the gentleman who could tell us
most about It happens to be a dead one
and It behooves the press Of the land
10 keep ND the agitation In behalf of the
quasi deer, with malice toward none and
avoidance Of undue Ievlty as far as cir
cumstances will permit.
In the meantime, 1t remains for the I'M
aginative artist to do full Justice to the
feelings of the man who has been mis-
taken for a deer, and possibly eliminate
in sudden flash of genius the modern
terror Of the woods. As we have al
ready suggested. he will not write from
actual experience. It would be impossible
for any writer 10 treat the topic with
dispassionate breadth and nicely, hav-
ing once heard the ping Of the sporting
bullet, which fails TO discriminate be-
tween its proper billet and mere man.
His thoughts revolve around fixed idea
that the woods are full OF blithering
idiots at the wrong end of the gun.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
THE THIRD-TERM ISSUE.
Col. WattersOn Issues Warming,
and starts n Room for Hughes.

and starts a Room for Hughes.
From the Louisville Courier y ournaI
There is bug a single serious menace
now before the country. That is the
ascendancy OF the one-man power. and a
third term in the Presidency for Theo-
dore Roosevelt This out Of the way.
the future spreads UNANIMOUSLY for an
other century Of Institutional develop
ment the bucolic republic Of Washington
and Franklin brought 10 its fruition as a
world power without the sacrifice Of any
Of its original principles 10 the perils and
temptations OF luxury and wealth. Of
class distinction, and party spirit and
spoils partyism, which the history Of
other nations has made so familiar 10
Us.
If the Republican party IS 10 remain
In power and to address its experience
and trained abilities 10 the disposition Of
the great questions of foreign and do
nestle policy which press upon US, il will
have largely to follow the lead Of Theo-
dore Roosevelt. To the threshold OF a
third term IL can safely follow him. II
in its blind confidence and enthusiasm. or
ia its mistaken selhshness and perverted
greed, il should get the notion that it
must follow him farther. that no one but
he can be elected and can carry out these
policies. then we are lost: because in the
state Of division and Generalization
which marks the Democratic party. even
he might be elected. and his election
would not only proclaim to mankind the
failure Of republican government, but
would actually Mexicanize the govern
ment OF the United States
Let Mr. Hughes use his freedom along
with his wits TO 90 his duty, and maybe
when the Republican cohorts in 1908 get
together in national convention-maybe,
they viii wisely conclude that there is
another New Yorker besides Theodore
Roosevelt-good man and true as they
must conceive and proclaim Theodore
Roosevelt 10 be-whO can carry the cOun-
try and work out the destiny Of the
people.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
Mig Gun Gone Wrong.

From Popular Mechanics.
The biggest gun I'm the world. and
which. as might be expected. was invent
ed and built IN Great Britain, has def
nitely been declared unsafe. and will go tc
the scrap heap As only one OF these
mammoths was built, and tisa, as an ex-
pertinent the loss is comparatively small
even though It is about 100000 This gun
was constructed to shoot a 16-inch pro-
jectile a distance of twenty-one miles
even though it would be impossible
ever 10 hit "A mark at such range The
big gun WAS found TO be unsafe after
few frings. and really was as danger
Gus TO our own folk as Il was expected
TO be 70 an enemy. Twelve-inch guns
are likely TO be the limit for a long time
and certainly until some gun metal not
now known IS discovered.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
He Ousted the MutnnI.

That the Mutual Life Insurance Com
pany ran up against a Tartar when it un-
dertook to control the vote Of its general
agent in Kentucky in the election of the
Peabody ticket Is abundantly attested by
the fact that the company has just been
denied the privilege to do business in that
State. Col BiscOe Hindman is the man
directly responsible for the MutuaIs trou-
hies in the Blue Grass State. He had been
its general agent in Kentucky and Ten
nessee for many years. but when Presi-
dent Peabody undertook 10 tell him how
to vote in the pending reorganization of
the concern he balked Then when Presi-
dent Peabody threatened him with dis
missal Col. Hindman calmly replied that
he could stand that better than the COM
pany could. He Immediately took the case
to Insurance Commissioner Prewitt at
Frankfort, with the result that that is
now known Col. Hindman is not past
forty, but he is one Of the most influential
kansan by birth. his father having been
an officer of the regular army before the
Wa and Joined the Confederacy. Col.
Hirdman attended West Point q while.
and finished his education at the Ken
lucky Military Institute. the alma mater
Of John Sharp Williams. the late Gen. II.
V. BoyntOn. and other men well known
in Washington. He taught mathematics
at that famous old institution several
years after his graduation. Those who
knew him declare that the fight he has
inaugurated on the Mutual in Ken
lucky viii be vigorously. extended to other
Southern States. as he is not the sort Of
man who is easily downed.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
Chestnut Crop Ruined.

From the Clarke County tYa.) Courier.
Reports from the Blue Ridge indicate
that the chestnut crop, which was very
heavy this year, was almost entirely de-
stroyed by the continued wet weather
After the chestnuts were ripe enough for
gathering, It was impossible to keep
them, as they moulded and became sour.
A source Of considerable income to the
mountain people was thus almost entirely
cut off
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
Japan's Treaty Rights.

from the Louisville CouTier-Journal
We do not understand that the treaty
with Japan undertakes to do what
would clearly be outside United States
authority. It guarantees TO Americans in
Japan equal rights Of residence and
equal protection Of the laws with ma
tives, and similar rights to japanese in
America. japanese may enter and travel
in the United States. and reside here.
as Americans do. But no right to enter
public institution is granted the Japa-
nese. and If il were. il could only relate
to public institutions controlled by the
Federal government.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
FOREORDAINED.

widow after the helpless-appearing man
has proposed and has been accepted.
Yes, dear, from the very first time
saw YOU I just knew that We were made
for each other. and that fate had destined
us 10 marry. Did not you have some such
presentiment2
Something like that" agrees the mere
man. 1T wasn't a dsy after you had
come here that fOm OF my best friends
al the club told me they'd bet ten 10 one
you landed me before the year was out, "
WILBUR NESBIT.
Copyright 1906 by W ID. Nesbit.)
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
THE INNOCENT BYsTANDER.
TIE MOTHER.

A book unheeded in her lap, she sits. with
dreaming eyes
And looks from out the window at the
distant hills that rise
Yet soon she crosses all the hills and finds
pathway straight
To whore the children Chamber on the
fence beside the gate;
TO where the children hail her with theiI
shouts Of wondrous glee.
Yet still the book. unheeded. lies half
open on her knee.
And far from out the window bends the
sky IN hazy blue,
And she fares forth upon n road that
leads the meadows through,
That hurries down the city streets until
she finds door
Which opens to her gentle knock; and
then. as oft OF yOre.
She hears the laughter Of her boy, she
sorrows when ne grieves.
Yet still the book is lying with her hand
between the leaves.
And now she goes another way, where
mountains touch the sky;
She treads the forest Businesses until she
draws anigh
The little cottage where her girl has
helped 10 make a home,
Where. I'm the distance on the sea, are
CLEANS of upfiung foam:
And for a while they speak Of all the
joys that used 10 be
Yet still the book. unheeded, lies half
open on her knee.
And so she fares till sunset. she goes far
and far away;
But always finds her haven at the ending
Of the day.
And takes her book and idly at the open
ed pages peers
With eyes that have the softness that is
caused by unshed tears.
And sometimes she will murmur low, and
sometimes she will smile,
For ont and over all the land her heart
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
Good Reason.
From Punch.


Dick docking at picture boolx)-I wonder
what the Noahs did with themselves all
day long in the ark?
Mabel-Fished I should think.
BObbie-They didn't fish for long.
Dick and Mabel-Why not?
Bobbie-Wel, you see, there were only
two worms
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
Calling Her.

From the Houston Post.
a Boston minister says that wine,
women and song should be broken up as
an alliance, that woman should be re-
garded as the saving influence in a man
life, and I think he is right
The saving influence! and you have
Just spent $40 of my hard-earned money
for a bonnet, On. tut,''
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
FOR THE SAKE OF COMPANY.

How is this. Jones? I hear that you
have rented a haunted house one that
has been deserted and Stunned for twen-
ty years. says the friend
Its a fact Jones replies you see,
We have 10 live in the suburbs. and my
wife is always complaining Of the lone
someness OF the places. Now we'll al
Wavs have companyr
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
His Nonev,S worth.

From Harper's Weekly.
L-aundryman-I regret to tell you. sir,
that one Of your shirts is lost.
Customer-But here have just paid you
i cents for doing it I'D.
Laundryman-Quite right, sir; we laun-
dered It before we lost It.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
Pre-eminenf.

From the Philadelphia Telegraph
Adam looked at HIS helpmeet thought
fully.
Well, he said in his emphatic way
there's certainly one honor that is in
disputably yours. my dear"
And what honor is that, Ad?" queried
our first mother
Adam suddenly smiled.
Nobody can dispute the claim that
you are the first lady in the land" he
said.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
A LITTLE NONSENSE
DIsBANDED.

Now back unto New York he hles.
You query.
Upon the r0ughened railroad ties?
] shall not say, but / sUrmise
He's weary.
And back unto New York she goes.
The reasOn2
Their vehicle; a Woman's Woes,
Has sadly brought unto a close
Its season.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

The New York World says the Consti-
tuition prohibits the President leaving the
United States. We never suspected that
the Constitution of the United States pro
hibited any such thing. but perhaps that
isn't the Constitution TO which The World
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

OF course, Mr.. Bryan viii not fail to
turn the column rules in memory of his
friend. William Randolph Hearst. when
the next issue of the Commoner goes
to press
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
Perfectly IuteIIigibIe.

Officer. it is claimed that this gentle
man was so drunk when you picked him
up Jhat he could not tell his own name. Is
that sog'
1T IS not. sir. He told me that his
name was Norval sir. and he also in
formed ne that his father is in the sheep
business in the Grampian hills"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
Rebate a Valuable Aid-

From the Louisville COurerJOuFnaL
II the tariff is not the mother of trusts.
1t is the father. The rebate is a sort of
trained nurse.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

Congressman Lands must look upon the
Longworth gun as pretty much in the
same class as the old negros rabbit an
nihilator-a good deal worse on the kick
than the shoot Congressman Fred IS the
Lands referred TO.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
The school.

How do you get those cIinging ways?'
asked the country cousin.
Hanging from street car straps "
answered the city girl.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
tlons which seem to battle and paralyze
our health authorities

That elephant ranch was only establish
ed in Texas a few short months ago. and
already one county has gone Republican.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
Sfinrr Ronf-

Roots speech did it. don't you think?'
sure. I think WHY didn't he make an
other speech and save the rest Of the
ticket?T
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
CONFIRMING HIS CLAIM.

y cane to this town a barefoot boy,
said the orator on the Square:
That's true. I know" yelled man below:
''10u was born in the block over therc.'
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
solid Cnunfnrt

The fires ablaze.
We're at our ease.
Oh. blithesOme days
Some white meat. please"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
You Can't Beat 'em.

They said that we would never be
happy" moaned the young bride.
But you are happy"
out now they say It won't last"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
Not Without Home.

From the New York sun
The Hon. William Jennings Bryan viii
not weep as enc without hope.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

Tom Watson. who recently returned to
the Democratic party, wired a friend the
other day. I don't want any office" It
doesn't look like the Democratic party
has any TO spare. anyhow.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

That whirring. buzzlng sound you hear
is just the house-cleaning brigade get
ting things in shape for Presidential in
spection down in Panama.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

Gang politics all over the country got
It where the chicken" &c, says the In
dianapolis News. Yes. indeed; Pennsyl-
vania. for instance.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
Genuine.

The curtain went up on the Siberian
scene.
Those howls sound very real" com
mented the critic. That's the real thing
in howls. Best I've ever heard"
Ought to be-, responded the stage man
ager. That's our angel. He's busted
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

"PresbyteTians pray for preachers. -
saws the Atlanta Georgian. Evidently
Atlanta's effort to land a few preachers
IS getting to the extreme stage.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

It's an i'll wind that blows no good.
The New York American is happily re-
lieved of the embarrassment of not hav-
ing any type big enough for all purposes
these daYs.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

Secretary Bonaparte designates the
trusts hogs in a pen" They are hogs.
we suppose, but as yet the pen is only
yawning for them.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

Common sense ballooHing'' is the topic
of an editorial in the Philadelphia Press.
STILL the New York election slows that
it wasn't ballOoning quite as extensively
as some people thought
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

Mr.. Cleveland is opposed TO simplifed
spelling. The longer and the more diff
cult TO spell they are. the better it suits
the former President
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

A woman with four hands has been
discovered IN Central Africa. There is
doubtless nobody in her neighborhood who
can have as good a time on bargain days
as she can.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

According 10 "a Virginia exchange. "a
can labeled lady peas exploded in "a
grocery store recently. doing consider
able damage. Probably didn't have its
lid on straight
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

II Belgium only understood the already
nerve-racked and tenseIy anxious coudi-
ton Of Capt Hobson, she surely would
put on the construction Of her proposed
bis navy for a short time at least
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

Perhaps Ar Croker sent that cable
message just 10 show the boys that he
still understood how to work the wires
for sure thing.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

Whenever Miss Democracy begins hum
ming Waltz NE around again, Willie. "
Mr.. Bryan knows just which Willie she
means,
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

That boiler tube scandal has brought
forth a Federal Indictment with thirty
counts in it, and some of them are said
to be almost as bad as Boni
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

Why not bunch up the few remaining
precedents now at large, let Mr. Roose-
welt break them all at once. and get
through with the argument?
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

A little plant grows in Mexico that IS
said 10 be perfect weather prophet
Luther Burbank should discover some way
to graft il onto the weather bureau?
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

The Chicago baseball players divided
So 900 among themselves as the results
Of the seasons winnings This is calcu-
lated 10 stiIl further decrease the small
boys respect for his chances TO become
President
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

Mr.. Patrick J. Mccartney has been
elected mayor Of Providence, R. I. Give
a man a real good Irish name like that
and Providence viii generally take care
Of him.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

Maxim Gorky will fire three volumes Of
criticism at us when he gets settled down
at home However. we cannot afford to
worry over that Maxim pop-gun.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

A Chicago man filed a suit for 500 dam
ages the other day, but when he learned
that it was TO be tried before "a jury Of
women he marked il down 20 S99gS
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

An Indianapolis bank cashier has dis
appeared. and his accounts are so straight
that his friends are not at all alarmed
about his failure to reappear.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12
senator Morgnn's Reelection.

According 20 the careful account kept
by himself OF his campaign expenses. it
has cost the Hon John Tyler Morgan ex-
actly $50 10 be assured OF reelection TO
the Senate by the Alabama legislature
that will assemble at Montgomery this
winter. Il is believed that no other living
American statesman can show as small
cost TO himself or friends in the conduct
Of a political campaign. With the open
ing Of the SiXtieth Congress. Senator
Morgan's sixth consecutive term will be-
gin. He is now eighty-two years old. but
is as vigorous Of intellect as any member
Of Congress. His physical strength IS
we'll preserved, too. and the great host Of
admirers Of this splendid representative
OF the old school OF American statesmen
are confident that he will round out six
service that would be unsurpassed in the
whole history OF the country. Senator
Allison is now in the middle Of his sixth
1 term. but the Iowan is IN feeble health
Gen. COckreU. Of Missouri. now a member
or the Interstate Commerce Commission
who also Is in feeble health would have
been in the middle of his sixth c0nsecu-
tive term had not the Republicans by a
surprising accident carried the Missouri
legislature in the Roosevelt landslide Of
1904 Thus. Senator Morgan gives promise
Of beating all records in the matter Of
continuous service in the Senate
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

London is In debt over a billion dol
lars. In fact, London seems 10 be the
BOni de Castellane Of cities.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

No wedding bells for New Mexico and
Arizona
The Washington herald., 1906-11-12

Forty-two States have got through with
their elections. That limits the inme-
diate operations of real trouble TO the re-
manning three.