davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
How No 90, Invited TO Dino.

A story is told OF a couple OF
farmers who live a few miles apart,
according TO the Buffalo Times.
One day one called on the other,
happening around at dinner time.
The person called upon, by the way,
was rather a penurious old fellow.
He sat at the table enjoying his din
ner. The visitor drew toward the
table, expecting the old farmer TO
invite him 10 dine. The old farm
er kept on eating.
whats the news up your way,
neighbor? No news, eh?"
mo, | believe not"
Presently a thought struck the
visitor. "Well, yes. friend, | did
hear Of one item Of news that Is
worth mentioning"
"Ha! What 10 it?"
"Neighbor John has a COW that
has five calves"
as that SOP Good gracious!
What in thunder does the fifth calf
do when the Others are feeding?"
"Why, he stands and looks on,
just rs ] do, like a dumb fool"
MARY, put up another plate"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
COUNCIL
Meets In Regular Session and Trans
acts Routine Business.
Concluded from Ist pagcl

than $40, 900, but the amendment
did not receive a second.
The announcement of the vote was
dubbed "Hocus pocus No. :" by
Aid Norton.
Then followed a squabble as tc
how, when and where the engineer
was To get his pay. Some OF the
members contended that the con
tractor in his bid offered to pay il.
Others said il was To come out OF
the $4,000.
On a vote of ! To I King, RAJ
ser, Walker and Brcdeen voting ave,
and Norton, Hewitt and Dohie vol-
my nay the contract for the ioun-
datlons, outside walls, roof, gas
piping, inside partitions and rough
flooring was let To Noungferdori
X son for S7,9SS,
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
COMMERCIAL CLUB
No Quorum and Consequently No
Business.

A corporal guard of Commercial
Club members met at President Rog.
ers' Office Wednesday evening and
waited a couple of hours tor a quo.
rum to show up. But the quorum
did not put in an appearance.
During the long wait those pres
ent held a social session on the alb.
sentees and the city of St. Johns.
None could offer an excuse for the
indifference shown. Instances were
cited where numerous towns are
eagerly seeking and encouraging the
location of numerous industries,
while St. Johns sets back and puts
on its you can come in If you have
the price to buy my real estate air.
Many who have large property in
terests here and who should be the
pillars of the club, are rarely seen
at its meeting. Reasons were given
for the indifference, but they will
be omitted.
Then the conversation drifted on
to the future plans Of the club. II
was decided that in the near future
the proposition of a permanent
home for the club will be brought
up. The idea is to secure a suite Of
rooms, say a reception, reading and
billiard room, furnish comfortably
and as inviting as possible. Here
the members would nave a place to
meet their friends aud entertain the
visitors. 1t is thought suitable
rooms can be obtained at a nominal
rental. If the idea is carried out
every member of the club will have
the place he has long looked for.
President Rogers new hat was
inspected, commented upon and
condemned because It introduces the
Montana style.
Attention was then turned TO the
presidents new $40 wall map.
printed on paper and purchased for
After several inaccuracies
were pointed out, the purchaser adj
nitted he was not an expert in the
map line and excused his incompe-
by referring TO the fact that
he was only one Of about fifty other
suckers who were tuned TO the key
Of ~ So by one of the smoothcst
map statesmen that ever came down
the pike.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
ELECTION NOTICE
SCHOOL DISTRICT BOND,

Notice is hereby given that at a school
meeting of school district No. , OF Multi
nomah county Oregon, TO be held at the
school In said district on the 22nd day OF
October, 1890, there will be submitted Ia
the legal voters of said district the ques-
ton of contrasting a bonded debt as fol
lowing;
Ist, Twenty thousand Hao,ooo) dol
lars for the purpose of purchasing land
and building a school house in the north
ern part OF said district.
and. Eight thousand and five humid
red $500 dollars for the purpose OF re-
funding on Indebtedness occurring in
building present addition, furniture and
heating plant.
The vote TO De BY ballot, upon which
shall he the words: "Bonds-Nes" and
the wortS, "Bonds-No." Polls to be
opened AT $50 O'Clock p. m. and remain
open until 100 p. m.
BY order OF the board of directors of
school district No. ,, Multnomah county,
Oregon.
Dated this sS,h day of September, A.
ID, 1890. ]. 4. WILLIAMS,
(Signedl Chairman.
J., L, TANcH,
Dist. Clerk,
Published in the ST. Johns Review Oct.
5, - and ~, 1890.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
DEPTHS
Of the Principal Harbors of the
World.

Every now and some discouraged
soul makes up his mind that Port
land does not possess the natural adj
vantages to become a great city, and
emits a wall that is taken up by the
disconsolate. The principal stock
in trade of the detected one is the
argument that the depth of the har-
Dor is not sufficient to permit the
entrance of vessels of more than or.
binary draft.
While the depth Of the bar at the
mouth of the Columbia and certain
parts of the channel are not as deep
as they should be, they compare ia.
vorably with many of the principal
harbors in the world.
Modern ship building has i%ncreas-
ed the size and deepened the draft
of vessels until IL has become neces-
sary to increase the depth Of many
harbcrs on both continents.
Few cities in the union possess
the natural advantages of Portland.
This is patent to all who have taken
the trouble to investigate. Despite
the croakers She will continue to ex-
pand until she becomes the metro
polls of the Pacific coast.
As to the channel and depth of
water at the mouth of the Columbia
river The present project on which
the government engineers are work
ing will give. when completed, forty
feet at the mouth of the Columbia
river at low tide. With a seven
foot rise of tide this will insure a
depth of forty.seven feet at the
now most dangerous place on the
river.
The following table shows the
of the principal harbors of
the world with the rise of the tide
at each point
trhe first column of figures indi.
Gates in feet the depth of water at
low tide, the second column the rise
of the tide, and the third column
the total depth at full tide.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
The ~PHlLANTHROPIST.
His Persistent but Futile Efforts In
First Aid TO the Injured.

First Aid TO the Injured.
An elderly philanthropist who
was walking home late one night
from his club passed a prosperous
looking apartment house and no
ticed a nan in evening clothes lying
motionless on the sidewalk. "First
aid to the injured" murmured the
philanthropist as he shook the in
valid gently. "What's the matter,
my dear sir?" "No's'n'; jes' takin'
rest" said the sleeper. "Where do
you live?" pursued the E. p.
"Thish 'partment house, thir' floor
front" This was rather a large
freight order for the old gentle
man; but, being willing to do good,
he put the invalid on his shoulder,
bore him laboriously to the third
landing, found his room and tossed
him into a large curtained bed in
the front Of the apartment.
The philanthropist Immediately
went downstairs and out into the
street. And the first thing he saw
on the sidewalk was apparently the
same man he had just carried up
stairs. Strange, strangel' mutter-
ed the ph~ilanthropist, leaning over
the man. where do you live, my
dear man." "Thir' floor 'front.'"
replied the fellow almost inaudibly.
So the philanthropist picked him
up, groaned up to the third floor
front and again dumped his snor-
ing burden into the mysterious can
opted and curtained bed. And for
the third time he went out into the
street and for the third time found
what appeared to be the same nan
in the same place, lying in the same
attitude. "Where do you livep" he
asked, trembling with excitement.
"Thir' floor 'front.'" said the man
very family. "a" must be going in
sane!" groaned the r. p. as he ran
for the janitor. "Janitor, for heav-
ems sake, tell me how many young
men are living in your third floor
front5" he gasped.
"Wan, and he do be the divvil's
own said the janitor. "Ts he trip
lets5" was the next question. ale
is not" "Well, how does il come,
then, that | have carried this fel.
low upstairs to his twice, put
him into that curtained bed 10 tho
front, yet each time find him here
the sidewalk before | have time
to get dow%nstairs?"
"Where did you say you put him
in his room9"
"Why, | put him in that large
c%urtained bed to the front"
"well, ycz poor old iiut," said the
pityingly, "thot amt no
bed; thot's n window
Irving in Success.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
An Awful Cough Cured.

Two years ago our little girl
had a touch of pneumonia, which
left her with an awful cough, She
had spells OF coughing, just like one
with the whooping cough and some
thought she would not get we'll at
all, We got a bottle of Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy which acted
like a charm. She stopped cough
ing and got stout and fat" writes
Mrs. Ora Bussard, BNibaker, III.
This remedy is for sale at Jackson's
Pharmacy.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
The Widow Ne Married.

A clergyman who was a widower
had three grownup daughters. Hay-
ing occasion to go away on a visit
for a few weeks. he wrote home
from time TO time. In one of his
letters he informed them that he
had married a strapping widow
with six children"
You may imagine what a stir this
created in the household. When the
vicar returned home one of his
daughters, her eyes red with weep
ing, said;
where's the widow you married,
father?
"Oh, | married her to another
man"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
A Most Worthy Article.

When an article has been on the
market for years and gains friends
every year, it is safe to call this
medicine a worthy one. Such is
Billiards. Horehound Syrup. II
positively cures coughs and all pull
monary diseases. One OF the best
known merchants in Mobile, Ala.
says; For five years my family
has not been troubled with the win
ter coughs, We owe this to Bal
lard's Horehound Syrup. ! know
it has saved my children from many
sick spells Sold by St. Johns
drug stores.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

a very heavy rain fell yesterday
afternoon.
Portlanders are threatened with a
fuel trust. Ands thousands of cords
OF wood rotting on the hills.
In case a seventh game is neces.
sary to decide the worlds base ball
championship Spokane has offered
the Chicago clubs $4,000 10 play
the deciding game in that city-and
guarantees balmy weather and sun
shine during the game. A great
AL for Spokane
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

William K. Hearst is IN the cen.
ter OF the political stage at present
and is the target for more ncwspa,
per mud than any man in the couu.
Try. Without discussing the merit,
OF the New York campaign the at.
tack OF the subsidized press on the
aggressive Hearst proves couclu.
sivcly that he II u thorn ia the side
OF somebody Unlike the offspring
the average millionaire he has made
good. Instead oi attracting aitcn-
ton 10y giving monkey dinners aud
dclving into social nastincSs Mt,
Hears, has made the prominent men
in more than one line all over the
country Sit up and take notice, An
look alike Ia him Corporations
with millions oi money behind them
have been made Ia correct their WAYS
and conform Ia the laws. Political
rings IN more than one state have
been broken up, The establishment
OF a Hearst newspaper IN a city
meant a revolution IN the publishing
business, Take, toT instance, the
time when the young Californian in
vaded Chicago, where two OF the
best papers in America were and are
still published-the Times Herald
(now the Record Herald the Tnh
une and the Record. All poohooed
AT the Hearst methods. Before a
paper was sold Hearst spent $500,
q announcing the fact that he was
going To print a paper in Chicago
The others called his paper yellow
II began a campaign of reform at
once, The gas, paving, water aud
city hall rings were broken up The
hourly editions gave the people the
news a. fast IS II occurred. \ half
dozen small hlackmaillug dailieS
were put % sleep aud the powerful
Record forced Ia consolidate with the
equally powerful Tunes Herald Ia
was not not long before MI the
windy city papers were Initiating
the new conner. Chicago had learn
cd and proiited 10y the advent OF the
socalled yellow journalist. Just
what will happen il he should be
elected governor of New York has
scared the lite out of the ga"g who
for years have run the Empire state. |
The very thought OF his election
makes them shiver in their shoes.
The fight is not one of Republican
ism vs., Democracy, 1t is Hearst
against the Gang And the proba
bilities are that the latter will win.
They did IN the mayoralty fight,
and by foul means at that. Notair
minded man, no matter what his
politics, questions the election of
Hearst as mayor OF New York. But
he was counted out. Aud he will
be counted ont of the govemorship il
he wins by Standard Oil. No man
TO the octopus will be allowed I
fill the executive chair, While ,
Iiearsts methods may not he APP ,
proved by some, there are few who |
10 not admire his style, ,
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
Heat Near the Eauator.

II is generally supposed that
equatorial Africa is the warmest
place on earth. but it is not. The
nights in the torrid zone frequently
are cold. Travellers sleep, right m
der the equator, under a quilt and
a pair of blankets. During the hot
test month in central Africa the
Thermometer never registers above
96 degrees, The interior Of equa-
torial Africa is not low land, not a
steaming jungle, as is commonly
supposed, The land rises from the
coast, plateau on plateau. until it
is from 5000 10 5000 feet above
sea level, and with every 800 feet
Of ascent the thermometer falls a
degree.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
Notice.

Members of the American Hos,
pital Association in St, Johns and
vicinity can now pay their monthly
dues at the branch office of the as
ISOLATION, located at the office OF
Spencer, Dey * Hampton, 2oI
South Jersey street. The office will
remain open until 9 p. IN. for the
accommodation of members who
cannot call earlier. Keep in good
standing by paying your dues
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

The weather prophet has crawlcd
out of his hole with his annual
representations Accorlingtothi,
bc%whiskcrcd individual we are going
To have a hard winter aud the ic-
male with q lazy husband is to have
a rough and tumble time IN u game
of catch rs catch can with the fam
lily ax aud the wood pile. Because
there Is a big crop Of acorns aud the
muskrats have built large houses and
the hogs llvcrsa are wrinklcd aud tho
family COW has a.gloSsy coat and ltc
chippics are singing late at night
the elements are going Ia mix things
We don't believe a word OF the
weather prophets predictions. Min
ncsota billiards have played u tune
on ~ anatomy for the last twenty
years. aud we would like Ia see the
banana belt oi Oregon stir up omc
thing that would make rs bat an
eye.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
JULIUS CAESAR

Was a man of nerve, but sickness
left It's mark and he became aged
before his time. Sickness is often
caused by a torpid liver. Herbine
will regulate your liver and give
You health. Mrs. Carrie Austin,
Hollon, Kansas, writes; II con
slider Herbine the best medicine |
heard of. am lever without
Sold by St. Johns drug stores.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
Nothing 10 Fear.

Mothers need have no hesitancy
in continuing TO give Chamberlain
Cough Remedy TO their little ones,
as II contains absolutely nothing in
furious, This remedy is not only
perfectly safe to give small chill,
dren, but is a medicine of great
worth and merit, II has a world
wide reputation for It's cures of colds,
coughs and Group and can always
be relied upon, For sale by Jack
sons Pharmacy.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
CHICKEN DINNER

\ chicken dinner OF the yellow.
legged brand, sweet and t~oothsome,
will he served by the ladies OF the
Congregational church next Tues
day, from S to 10 p, NJ, in the Hol.
brook block on Jersey street. A
good dinner and plenty of il for IS
cents.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

From the above table Il will be
seen that Portland with a s7.foot
channel on the bar at present com
parcs favorably with many OF the
principal ports OF the world. With
the proposed l%o.foot channel to the
sea and a couple more t%ransconti-
mental roads entering the city il does
not require a great stretch OF mag
ination To & what the result will
he.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
$4,000

Takes a very fine block containing
nearly four acres and plats 20 fifty
foot lots, This tract lies SIS feet
along the Willamette Boulevard.
\ great bargain for some one, but
must be taken soon, II at that fig
IRE. W, J. Peddicord, ia Phila-
delphia street, 81. Johns, Oregon.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

Almost daily a gang of advcrtis,
ing distributors invade 81. Johns.
Zach man Is loaded to the limit with
advertising matter. Some OF il is
for the patent medicine concerns. but
the mos, OF II is ior some fake sale
house ~ tells how old lkcy Cohn
bought S9h79S.i5 worth OF goods
at Ig4 cents on the dollar aud pro
poses Ia unload them on suffering
humanity lor anything he can get
This advertising may be- seen scat
tered all over town Why not make
the distributors clean Il up ? II
The Review was Ia litter the town
with It's weekly edition how quickly
Il would be called Ia account. Why
not call the attention of the Port
land distributing agency TO the dis
orderly appearance of the streets It's
bit of enterprise creates,
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

Whew Another banker and a
million dollars have disappeared
from sight. The regularity of these
little incidents makes us want to
quit the newspaper business
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

Milwaukee, without making any
fuss or gaining any notoriety, has
built a city hall without selling any
bonds or levying an additional tax.
The money was obtained from the
monthly revenue of the club and the
single saloon in the town. The
beauty of the whole transactien is
that there is not a dollar of indebt-
edness on the building. This is
fn%anceering what is !
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

When you are looking for a town
that is forging to the front strictly
on its own merits come to St. Johns.
Fare five cents from Portland.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

If Mr.. Taft, he of the avoirdu-
pois, is not being groomed for the
presidency, then the modern way Of
doing things have slipped a cog.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

Colonists are pouring into Oregon
at the rate of 100 day. Still there
are some who are afraid to invest
for fear the bottom will drop out.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

Another bunch of Oregon prom.
incnt citizens will hear something
drop at the beginning of the winter
season. Francis J. lIeney writes
that he will return To Portland DE.
ccmbcr I to try the remaining land
fraud eases.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

The great state of New York has
the satisfaction of knowing that II
cannot he further disgraccd at the
hands of Plat and Dcpcw. The
humiliation is complete.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

There is more money to be made
in st. Johns real estate right now
than there ever was. Paste this in
your hat
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
Harness Oil

Meats Foot Oil
Only SI,oo at the ST. Johns harness,
shop, Now is the time to use il.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

The table on first page showing
the depth of the principal harbors
of the world will interest old and
young.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
SCHOOL NOTES.

Following Is the number of pu-
pills enrolled in each grade in the
81, Johns public school last Monday
morning
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12
Wanted.

Hand ironerS at the West Coast
Laundry, Apply at once.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

Miss Elizabeth Magic a Chicago
young woman has publicly and
shamelessly offered her person for
sale to the highest bidder. From
reports sent out this woman has
heretofore been an intelligent and
moral creature, but the unique
way in which she announces her
desire TO depart from virtues path
takes the cake.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

The owner of a good farm will be
the aristocrat of the future.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

Be patient The outlook might
be worse than it is.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

Heavy and continued rains dur
ing the summer and fall have had
the effect of reducing the crops in
the middle northwest fully two
thirds. Besides the grain is of a
very inferior grade. With six
months of Billiards aud cold
weather staring them in the
face the farmers in that section are
in anything but a happy frame Of
mind. Here in Oregon there is
room enough for all-with the freel-
ing left out.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

Young Vclguth, the robbcr OF
the Portland gas company, plead
guilty aud has been sentenced to
the Salem pcnitcntiary for q term
Of from onc 10 ten years. The sad
part about the affair is the family ol
the youth are the chief sufferers.
They seem to feel the disgrace far
more than the culprit. The gas
company has been roundly ccnsufcd
iof their lax methods of conducting
their business that permitted the
thief 10 get in his work, This is q
wrong view to take. II the young
man was honest he would not have
become u thief no matter how great
the opportunity, As he had the
instincts Of u thief he would have
made the opportunity. The family
are the only ones that deserve any
sympathy,
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

Tell your eastern friends abou
St. Johns by sending The Review
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

What II. Johns needs, aud needs
awtully bad, is more interest in the
small industries that desire To locate
here. The little fellows need to he
looked after and encouraged. The
big fellows will take care of them
selves. For some time past every
body, all of rs, have given too
much attention as Ia what We could
make ont of real estate. Have kept
an eye an the main chance To the
dctumcnt at mutual interests. The
city has hocn lett Ia struggle along
as best II could With the proper
spirit shown and interest taken 81.
John will attract double the attcn
ton It does, Let Ms sacrifice a III
Tie ot self and devote more time to
the place where we live. Let the
industries, the little ones, he induced
To locate here, and the selling of
real estate will take care of itself,
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-10-12

Cuba is still on the mapj