The Monticellonian., 1906-03-08

any moment to see Virginia seceds and go out of the union.
 There was nothing more for me to do except to drink my cup of after dinner coffee. and smoke my cigarette, and quit, and I was batting myself on the back at my success and squirming around in the chair. cause the pin in my tail hurt my back. but I never said word. The attendant brought ill the coffee and l took couple of swal- lows, when 1 realized that somebody had put cayenne pepper into it, and I was hot under the collar, but though 1 was burning up inside. never peeped, but just choked and took a swallow of water and vowed to kill the person that made the coffee.
 I kept my temper till the trainer handed me the cigarette and match, and the first puff l realized that they had filled the cigarette with snuff and after blowing out the smoke I be- gan to sneeze, and the audience fairly went wild I sneezed about eight times, and at every sneeze the pin in my spine hurt like thunder, but never
 
 sneeze, when my monkey mask flew off. and then boy about my size, right In front of me, yelled: "It ain't a mon key at all, it is little nigger" and he threw ripe persimmon and hit me right in the eye. I said right out in plain English: You're liar and I can knock the stufing out of you.
 l pulled off my dress coat and started for him, but pa grabbed me on one side and the monkey trainer on the other, and they tried to get me to return to the monkey character, and chatter, and pa put my monkey mask on me, but l struck right there. and pulled ii off, and told him and the managers that 1 would not play mon- key any more with a tail pinned to my spine. my stomach full of cayenne pepper and my nostrils full of Scotch snuff, and my face all Puekered up with persimmons.
 The crowd yelled. Fraud, Fraud, Kill tho bald headed old man who is the father of the monkey and they were making a rush to clean out tho show when the dressing-reem door opened 10 lot the hippodrome chariot racers out. and the way the chariots scattered the crowd was a caution
 That saved us from serious trouble, for the ehariots run over lot of ne. groes which pleased the audience and they let us off without killing us. They got me back 10 the dressing-room and had to take a pair of pinehers to get that safety-pin out of my spine. and on the way to the dressing-room some one walked on my monkey tail and pulled il off and that was a dead loss. Pa sat by me and famed me. cause was faint, and then he said: My boy. you played your part we'll. until the perslmmon hit you. and then you forgot that you were an actor, and became yourself and I don't blame you for wanting to punch thai boy who called you little nig- ger, and said I was your pa. After this chariot race is over we will go around in front of the seats, and find the boy and you can do him up. Your monkey business was the fea- ture of the show today"
 We went out and found a boy that looked like the one that sassed me. but he must have been his big broth CT cause when I went up to him and swatted him in the nose, he gave me a black eye and l am sight
 That evening, at the performance. we cut out the educated ourang ou- ang. and the lawyer We met on the ears came 10 the show. and said we would all be arrested for not perform ing all We advertised. but he could settle it for d hundred dollars, and pa paid him the money, and he went out and got a jag and came in ths show and was going to make trouble. when pa took him to the cage where he 40-foot boaGonstrictor was uncoil- ing itself, and the Virginian got one look at the snake and went through the side of the tent yelling: I've got 'em again. Catch me. somebody
 We got out of town before morning. and nobody was arrested, except the negroes that got run over in the chariot race.