davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Our Trade with China

There is no doubt that the last few
months has seen an enormous awakening
OF commercial China. This is due partly
70 the persistent efforts of the japanese,
who have, since the war. been very active
in sending their agents throughout the
Chinese ports. establishing agencies. and
making q bid for the profitable Chinese
market. To keep Up with the pace thus
set English, German, and United States
agents have awakened, and there Is strong
competition for the trade
It Is very evident that in some respects
japan has the best Of US in her nearness
10 this rapidly growing market. and if we
are not 10 see this field slip away from us
entirely it behooves US to be particularly
careful Present methods Of doing busi-
ness with the Chinese viii have to be re-
Yised. John Fowler, our consul at Chefoo.
which is the principal commercial port OF
Northern China, supplying the fruitful
Shantung province, gives three instances
Of bad business on the part Of American
firms, business dealings Of a sort which
plays right into the hands of our competi-
tors. In one case a shipment OF New
"a n 4A4AA VI . AiliNA1 10 AlGlDU WAS 50 llse-
curely packed that out OF a total Of nine
" pieces, thirty-three were found to be
smashed and useless. A firm on the Pa
cific Coast sent 20 Chefoo on order a
large consignment Of bottled beer which,
on examination. was found to contain so
much foreign matter that II was unmer-
ehantsble The third case had to do with
cargo OF flour. which proved to be great
" inferior to sample. and the American
firm who shipped it refused 20 make an
allowance for its error.
Now, these are not the complaints of
Chinese unsupported. In ChefoO. where
there are complaints against foreign firms.
they must be submitted 10 the foreign
consul, who then appoints a board of sur
vey-au foreigners. If ne ehooses-and the
report Of this board furnishes the equity
in the case. All three Of these cases men
toned were surveyed by a consular board.
and the complaints were found to be just
Germany has long since recognized that
this business Of exporting to countries like
China is much more than the business of
the individual exporter, for the chicanery
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Economy-And Economy

Viewed in the light of dispassionate and
unprejudiced judgment. the action of the
members Of the House in practically vot-
ing to themselves $1,so0 year under the
guise Of clerk hire does not seem to be al
together creditable. In the first place,
81 POO year for a clerk is as much as the
average government clerk receives, and
more than is generally paid to clerks In
private business. The increase has
not half as much to commend it as is
urged upon Congress by the heads of de-
partments when they seek to get little
more money for uuderpaid government
employees.
II the clerks were really employed. there
might be some excuse for the expendi-
tur. AS a matter of fact. the Representa-
tives have deliberately decided-but not
upon a roll call or other public record
that they shall not be required TO certify
that they expended the money for clerk
hire. They have thus voted 10 themselves
an addition Of 1880 to their salaries, OBJ
tanned under conditions which ought to
make every self-respecting Congressman
suffer with an uneasy conscience. If this
money is to go for legitimate clerical
assistance, why not make the record
clear? Let the names of the clerks go
upon the pay rolls. let their receipts be
duly given, and make it Illegal for them
TO hand over to their Representatives any
portion Of the amount which they draw
as a salary. 1t would be interesting 20 see
how quickly the concern of the Repre-
sentatives in this 1850 would cease if this
were done.
We hear much Of economy at the Capt.
toll There is an uplifting of hands in
holy horror whenever poor charwoman
appeals for an increase Of s. Der month,
and an exhibition of righteous indigna-
ton when some clerk seeks more liberal
recognition. This regard for economy
seems to disappear. however, when there
is a chance to slip a few more dollars into
Congressional pockets.
All honor 10 Oscar W Underwood, of
Alabama. and the eleven Congressman
who stood up with him in protest against
wrong and an unjust thing. They were
in the minority. but they were right
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
The Post.offlee Denartmcnt

The proposition put forward by a Chi
cago capitalist to take over the post
Office business from the United States for
the purpose of operating that important
branch of the country's commercial in
terests through a $5OO0O.OO0 corporation is
a big scheme, and has attracted consider
able attention The offer seems to be
made in good faith, and there is no rea-
son to think that its promoters would not
seriously attempt to-earry it through,
should Uncle Sam accept
The inducements offered, however, are
not so very alluring as one would like.
The first inducement is. of course, the
inevitable one that It would take the
department out of politics; the other
cheaper postage. Unfortunately for the
parties behind this ambitious undertake
ing, it would be hard 20 convince the
people at large that any such results
would be forthcoming. The light of past
history gives promise Of no such good
luck. Express companies are conducted
just along the very lines that the Chicago
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

people set up for conducting the Post
Office Department, and yet express
charges are-well, anything but cheap, at
all events. Neither are the express COM
panies out of politics. If any one believes
that the express companies are "out of
politics" let him get some Congressman
to introduce q parcels-post bill. and then
sit of to one side and watch 1t get en-
acted into a law. If he isn't convinced
within a reasonable length of time that
the companies are in politics, and in
good and strong" we will miss our
guess.
Again, considering the efficiency of the
service. the contrasting Of that of the
express companies with that of the Post
Office Department gives far and away the
best of the criticism to the latter. The
sphere Of delivery maintained by the ex-
press companies is very limited. indeed
The POst-office Department reaches the
remotest farmer, and for no additional
postage charge From every point of
view, the Post-office Department has the
best Of it when it comes to good, reliable,
and prompt service, coupled with a re-
markable ability to reach the people and
hearty willingness to do it also.
The United States will probably con-
tinue in the postal business, even at a
yearly loss in money. unless. at least,
some private corporation can show more
attractive inducements than the above
quoted.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
JAPANESE EXCLUSION.
SIR. Hearst's Paper Strongly on Side
of the CaIifornians.

From the New York American.
Mr.. RoOsevelt's singular tenderness for
the Oriental race was first evidenced in
his plan. already partially successful, 10
import cColie labor to work on the Pana-
ma Canal In this matter he was insist
ent, and already a large number Of coolies
are under contract. despite the fact that
their landing on American territory is in
direct violation Of the exclusion act. This
means. Of course that wages on the ca
nal are 20 be lowered, that the work is
10 be done by the cheapest kind Of con-
tract labor, and that the American work
ingman who pays for the canal. viii not
be allowed 20 have share in its building
With such q position only the trusts
and the contractors who profit by cheap
labor can be in sympathy. There is no
Unfriendliness To the Chinese or japanese
in this country as nations, nor is there
any danger that in any section Of the
country race feeling viii rise 10 such a
pitch that our relations with China or ia
pan viii be strained to the breaking
point.
But the American people do object to
the importation of cOOlie labor, and Mr.
ROOsevelts espousaI Of the cause Of the
coolic against the Americans Of CaHfor-
MA viii only unite the whole country
solidly on the side Of the Californians.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Trying 1t on the District.

While in perfect sympathy with every
movement toward uplifting and morally
improving this community. We regret to
see on the part Of certain people a desire
TO make Washington the experimental
ground for fads and theories. Many of
the propositions submitted are novel and
doubtful as to wisdom In some in
stances legislation which has been en-
acted has been shown to be crude and
ill-digested. with many difficulties in the
way Of practical administration Agen-
eies are actively at work devising new
schemes for legislative enactment, and
IL they al become laws. we viii have in
Washington the most thoroughly law
ridden community in the world Here
jealous refoTmers can reach the ear Of
Congress easily, and as the people Of
the District are lOng-suffering and COM
placent, We may find ourselves regulated
by outsiders. No one objects to reason
able and sane laws, but Congress should
take time TO examine carefully into the
propositions which are being daily sub
mitted at a remarkable rate.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Proof Positive.

From the New Orleans Times-DemocTat.
It was a little male sparrow that
hoped into the nest at about a. m.
His wife was awake, awaiting him.
The little sparrow began his expiana-
ton. He had been detained at the
Office until late, and was so tired he
slept downtown. BIT he had gotten up
early and hurried home.
The lady sparrow looked him in the
eye,
You were up all last night with
wicked companions" she cried, and
have just gotten home. You haven't
been 10 bed at all You are a bad, late
bird and not an early bird. Oh, why
did I eV-"
But her mate interrupted her with
an imperiOus gesture. Behold the
proof" he exclaimed, exhibiting a
worm.
As it IS an ascertained fact that late
birds never get worms, she was fain to
accept the proof
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Auntie's Memory.
WILBUR NEsBIT.

From HarpeT's Weekly.
An old colored woman down in Ala
bama was reported to be OF great age.
and was extremely proud of the dis
tinction. The proprietor Of a museum,
on hearing OF her, sent one Of his
agents 10 make an investigation. as she
would be q valuable acquisition to his
museum. The agent piled her with
questions regarding her age. He asked
her.
"Auntie, do you remember George
Washington"
Does I remember George Washing
ton? Laws a massy, mistah, 1 reckon
I does, for I done nussed him when he
was a chile"
Well. I suppose you remember the
Revolutionary war;
Yes. indeed, I does. honey. I stood
dar lots OF times an seen de bullets fly
in round as thick as hailstones."
Well auntie, how about the fall Of
the Roman Empire? Do you recollect
anything about that?"
DE fact is, honey, I was pretty
young bout dat time, but I does mem
Der. now you speaks OBJ it, dat 1 did
hear de white folks tell bout hearin'
som pin drop bout dat time"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
What Is SociaIismr

From the Phiadel2hia Bulletin.
a debating society in Manayunk Of
fered last week a prize of s. for the
best definition OF socialism.
Among the definitions submitted
were the following:
Socialism means that no man has a
right to starve TO death where millions
are suffering from Indigestion"
Socialism is other peoples money"
Socialism is the selfshness under
meath trying to annihilate the selfish
ness on top"
Socialism is the revolution of the
stomach"
Socialism is envy legitimatized."
The following definition is the one
that gained the s. prize:
Socialism is a combination of ef-
forts and theories tending TO establish
legally among all mankind the greatest
possible equality of wealth or misery"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
CHOICE OF A CARDINAL.
Perry Belmont on It's influence in
Last Presidential Campaign.

Penn Belmont IN New IOTk Hen1d.
The chief significance Of the Roosevelt
St0rer correspondence is its relation 10
the Presidential campaign OF 1904. Il is
evident that the supporters of one high
dignitary of the church for some time
previous to and during that campaign
believed that the President favored their
views upon the selection of a cardinal
Other equally powerful influences in IA
vOr Of another selection We're also con-
vinced that their preference would not
be ignored.
The result was that the creation of an
otner American cardinal. which patriotic
Americans would regard as a just rec0g-
milton, has not yet taken place.
The correspondence discloses methods
unworthy Of the high character and of
the great dignity Of the question at is
sue; methods for which those in whose
behalf such steps were taken We're evil
IDENTIFY in no way responsible.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
INDEPENDENT.

"A'minta," called Mistah LucuIlus Am
brose JohusinE to the wife Of his bosom,
is yo' gwine ter chu'ch dis mawnin'?''
"Mebbe I is-when I gifts ready" was
the independent response.
''Well, honey, it's time 20 was a-gittin'
ready"
well, I isn't gittiu' ready"
when is you gwine ter git ready?'
"Ts gwine ter git ready when I gifts
ready 10 git ready. OATS when Is gwine
ter sit ready"
MII.RI-n NESRIT
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
The Kansas Senatorship.

The Kansas contingent in Congress are
becoming considerably worked I'D over n
persistent story coming from their State
to the effect that their senior Senator,
Hon. Chester, !. Long, is fixing the fences
so that former Gov. W. J. Bailey will be
elected to the Senate this winter to fill
the unexpired term of the disgraced j.
Ralph Burton. whose seat is now held by
Hon. Alfred w. Benson on appointment
of Gov Hoch. Naturally. Senator Long
denies the story and exhibits a good deal
of Indignation in doing so. but the mer-
curiaI Kansans are becoming excited over
il lust the same. The new legislature will
meet at Topeka early in January, and the
Senatorial fight promises to be the inter-
esting feature of the session. There are
q half dOZeN or more avowed candidates.
among them being Messrs. Curtis and
Campbell. now members of the House;
Joseph L. Bristow, who as Fourth As
sistant Postmaster General, directed the
gathering of evidence against the
Machen- Beavers gang of Post-office De
partment grafters. md w. r. Stubbs. one
of the rising political forces in the Sun
flower State. Ex-GOv. Bailey served sew
eral terms in the House before he was
elected governor, and is best remembered
by the pledge he made as a gubernatoTial
candidate that he would WOO and win a
wife If the Kansans would elect him gov
ernor. He kept the pledge, and Laura
Jean Libbey would say they lived hap
PLY ever afterward."
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Connecticut wants Them.

From the Hartford Times.
There ought TO be a good chance for
househoIders in the East. who find it al
most impossible to secure domestics. n
obtain some efficient servants soon. if it
is true. as reported from San Francisco
that no less than L500 Japanese house
servants have been dismissed there since
the publication of President Rooseyegf's
MESA &c
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
4 Poor stick,

What's yer tale NV woe?" demanded
Tired Tiffins
Il wUZ thrown out Of work. mumbled
the recruit That's why I'm hobo"
Had to be thrown out, hey? My frien'
youseH never be a hobo in a t'ousand
years"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
value of Expert Opinion

From the Chicago Record Herald.
European war experts think the United
States would stand no show whatever in
fight with Japan The same experts
were Of the opinion that Russia would
crush Japan within three days after the
opening of hostilities.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Good Chance for Alfonso.

From the Omaha Bee.
''Marse Henry Watterson is to spend
the winter In Spain. and if Alfonso is
wise he will take advantage Of the oppor-
tunity to secure sound advice on few
matters Of statecraft- Bourbons should
stand together.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
ToPsY-TTRvIEs.


II Howells were Jack London
And wrote Of dogs and fights
II Harrington we're Riley,
And tried poetic fights;
II Twain were Mrs. Rorer.
And wrote Of grub and cooks
II all Of these changes happened
Would people read more bcoksl
If Dunno we're Mrs. Freeman.
And DOOley an old maid.
If Page were Owen NisteT
And Gable were George Ade;
II White were c. T. Brady.
Now tell me this, gadzooksl
II all these changes happened
Would people read more bOoksl
Would kipling lose his Tipling
II be we're Henry James,
II Conan Doyle were Phillpotts
Who'd play detective gamesl
II Conrad were Corelh
Who'd write Of ropes and hoOksl
If all these changes happened
Would people read more booksi
Denver Republican.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Warned.
From Puck

They-the two-were sitting on the
rustic seat in the yard. He had been
wondering if he dared. Even the moon
had begun to pay attention. Just then
the young enanlored edged up closer.
BE careful, Mr.. Jones'" said the
football girl L will have to penaIize
you three feet for holding"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
SmOot Heard IL All.

Senator Dubois yesterday made a terrific
arraignment Of the Mormon Church in
general. and o. Senator Reed Smoot in
particular, IN the course Of a carefully
prepared speech supporting the majority
report OF the Committee on Privileges and
Elections, recommending the exclusion Of
the Mormon Senator The Idaho Senators
seat Is IN the outer circle on the Demo
cratic side. That Of Senator Smoot is in
the outer circle on the Republican side
Mr. Dubois walked over 10 the Republican
side within ten feet Of the Utah Senator
before he began his speech, and from that
vantage ground hurled thunderbOlts Of
logic and invective squarely into the i'm
mobile face Of the Mormon statesman.
Mr.. Shoots face did not change express
sion once. He was not seen TO vince or
otherwise show the least feeling at any
point in Mr.. Dubois speech. For more
than two hours Senator Dubois hammered
away at Mr.. Smoot and the Mormon
Church. The galleries We're crowded. and
Senators kept their seats in unusual num-
Der. Mr.. SmoOt did not even make note
while Mr. Dubois was speaking. In fact,
he seemed less concerned than anybody
else on the floor. IL is said that he feels
confident of retaining his seat in spite Of
the report made against him by the ma
jority Of the committee, and that viii be
vindication enough for him.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
An Interestinr Contrast.

From the Waterbury American.
Mr.. Cleveland once wrote a message Oh
the tariff alone. Mr.. Roosevelt wrote one
on every other subject in the world ex-
cept the tariff.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
CAPITOL GOSSIP.
Warren sings an old Ditty.

Senator Warren, of Wyoming, tripped
through a basement hall of the Senate
wing yesterday, merrily .whistling ia
miliar old tune. friend told him that
the air was familiar but that the words
could not be readily recalled.
1T was the most popular ditty of its
day generation ago. said the Wyoming
statesman. and it's odd that you should
have forgotten its words"
Then Senator Warren hummed the
words:
ooh. Maria!
Oh, Mari-al
Maria,
Come higher
And sit by the fire.
Oh, Mari-al" &c.
Now, don't you remember ito" he in
CURED, adding: THAT name Maria has
got mixed up with more American poll
tics than any other female name of all
our cOgnomens"
The Senator then wandered on his way
to the room Of the Committee on Military
Affairs. chuckIing softly to himself the
while.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Stripping the Enemy.

From the Richmond Times-Dispatch
If Mr.. Roosevelt carries off any more
of Mr.. Bryan's clothes, how in the world
viii the colonel explain the situation to
Anthony Comstock?
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
which

From the Cleveland Leader.
The burning question of the hour is
whether the President has Congress on
his hands or Congress has the President
on lis hands
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Not Too Deep.

Il court the deepest inquiry" the irate
statesman snorts. AT least, as deep an
inquiry as anybody courts
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Kentucky Horse sense.

From the Houston Post
The Louisville Courier-Journal says lit
would be wiser to keep peace with japan
and spend S60.0000o0 on rivers and harbors
than to build navy TO fight Japan. 3"
That's good horse sense.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
One Point of DiHerence

From the Atlanta Journal
Garfield was a canal boy before he be-
came President, but Mr.. Roosevelt was
President before he became canal boy.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
,Tfs Here.

"WeH, the saccharlne subsequently has
arrived at last"
What do you mean?'
The sweet buy and buy"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Has Use for HIs Benrd.

From the Philadelphia Press
Gov.-elect Hughes declines TO cut off
his whiskers. Probably he wants to be
able to beard the bosses in their den.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
And Even Ambassadors.

From the Cincinnati Times-Star.
Apparently even ambassadors lead
very strenuous sort Of life now and then.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

a man has been sent to jail for steal
ing + cents worth Of sugar If they
caught him with the goods on" It must
have taken a very powerful microscope
TO find the sugar
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

II now transpires that Chester Gillettes
mother and father are both followers Of
John Alexander Dowie. So they are get
ting ready to enter the plea Of hereditary
insanity for Gillette. are they?
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

Every time Mr.. Rockefeller takes a
bunch of money out Of one pocket and
puts IT In another, the report goes out
that he has lost a few millions or so. He
has never yet been known, however, to
lose anything where he couldn't find It
when wanted
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
Pronunciation.

"'Quinzy.' eh?" sneered the lanky trav-
eler. You Massachusetts people make
me sick"
Pray. where are you frOm?"
Terry Hut"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

Rev. Edward T. Divine says he doesn't
believe that Mayor Schmitz grated a
single penny Of the San Francisco relief
fund Perhaps he thought that if he
grated the dollars. the pennies would
take care of themselves
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

Notwithstanding Senator Burrows great
speech. il isn't true that the Senate has
already ordered a % sign for Senator
SmOots buttonhole.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
A LITTLE NONSENSE
GET RUSY.

What are you going to buy?
No time 10 lose.
Is 1t a muller, or a tie?
Hasten and choose,
The shopping stream, trow.
Is getting strong.
There's lots Of choice now,
But not for long.
Doth seek a hatbox trim?
A handsome fur?
Something. perchance, for him2
Something for her?
Get busy, then! Decide!
Stop not to plan.
For Christmas time and tide
Wait on no man.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

Alaska is said to deplore the fact that
there are so few lawyers in that coun-
try" II probably would not be possible 10
get up a Thanksgiving Day celebration
for ANYTHING In Alaska
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14
- III - orIeans Picaruns.

From the New Orleans Piosyuns.
Il would have been much more logical
for Mr.. Shaw 10 advocate the enactment
of legislation providing more elastic
currency and preventing the heavy period
icaI Withdrawals Of funds into the Treas
dTy, there to lie idle. than to ask for an
extension Of the power Of the Secretary
Of the Treasury to come TO the aid of the
money market
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

Why should the Senate have hesitated
in confirming Mr.. Bonapart because Of
something he thought about the trusts
seven years ago2" Mr Bonaparte has
some one to help him along with his
thinking these days
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

Just how the poor old money market is
TO get rescued when Secretary Shaw
leaves the Treasury Department is a mys-
terv
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

The House stands bravely by the die
tionary, but isn't apt to get any Carnegie
medals for It.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

That clergyman who advised the ne
groes to move to the doubtful States of
the North" could do a turn that would
be appreciated by furnishing Congress-
man Jim Griggs with a full list of such
States
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

Commander Peary says the weather
was to blame for his failure to reach the
pole When all else fails, there is always
the weather man 10 blame.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-14

IF I love him. viii marry him." says
Emma Calve, anent her blind millionaire
friend Not even the man in the case
can see any reason why she shouldn't.