davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
SEAL TAKES LONG DROP

From the New York World
lTDWARD KEEGAN, night foreman Of
r the Aquarium, was telling of a
- prank of Babe" one of his most
Interesting charges. and the scare he and
two of his assistants had in consequence.
Babe is the name of the big seal
which occupies the large pool at the south
eastern side of the circular building at the
BATTERY, and he is one of Keesans partic-
ular pets Ever since he has been in the
Aquarium, which is now about nine
months, Babe has never seemed to be
satisfed with his evening allotment of
fish. He roars for fully half an hour after
he has devoured tile last fish thrown in
Ny his keepers. Tired out, he then fops
himself on the raised iron platform at one
end of the pool which does duty as a
rock
A few nights ago the customary roars
of Indignation over quiet settled down on
the family residents of the Aquarium.
Is'Babe" Topped himself up the incline and
nestled on the iron platform to sleep and
dream of entertaining the visitors of the
day.
Keegan and the other employees of the
lAquarium were in parts of the building
remote from the pool where Babe" was
supposed to be sleeping. Suddenly one of
nhe men thought he mad en- when he
1eard the familiar flop and saw ascending
1.-THE stairs leading to the balcony a form
about the size of Il small boy whose out
lline was lost in the comparative darkness
-of the building. But the Hopping contin-
lned, and the form continued going up
ward Finally the workman summoned
suffcient courage to call to another and
ASK him if he noticed anything going up
the northern staircase.
The second workman looked over at the
stairway and said:
Yes: what do you think it is
1--WE will go over and see said the man.
lover the two went, and with one voice
shouted:
Babe is climbing the stairs, Mr.. Kee-
GAM
'What babe?" said Keegan.
.'rhe SEAL replied the workmen.
Keegan hurried over to the foot of the
lstairs. where the two workmen stood with
istaring eyes. watching the seal as it
hoped from the last step to the balcony.
Keegan, with the two worlkmen rushed
up the stairs-but no Babe was to be
seen
Matches were struck, there being no
light ON the balcony, and the wet trail of
the seal was discovered. 1t led into the
darkness, and lighting matches as they
went, the workmen walked slowly along
1.-THE first half of the circular balcony. They
saw Babe" standing up against the rail-
ing with his head just over the top.
The animal again began its Hopping as
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Roosevelt and Cato.

From the New York Evening Post.
The whole is a mournful' affair. What
will the world think of Presidential dig
nity3s What idea will be given of our dip
lomatic service. How much like a world
power does all this make us look! The en-
tire wretched quarrel should have been
kept under lock and key. If the President
has any more of this dirty linen in his
basket, we hope that Taft can be made To
sit on the cover A democratic people is
not too fastidious, but it does want those
whom it honors to behave like gentlemen.
The incident will, to be sure, furnish more
material for the students of Roosevelt
psychology. 1t may give some of them
fresh reason to apply to the President
the description which Froude gave in mis-
Caesar" of the younger Cato:
No one ever suspected him of dishonesty
or corruption. But his eXcellences were
not of the retiring sort. He carried them
written upon him in letters for all to read,
as a testimony to a wicked generate
And no one was permitted to differ
from him without being guilty rather of
crime than of a mistake.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
The Water Cure.
From the Chicago News.

From the Chicago News.
One of the Chinese modes of punishment
is to place the culprit where drop of
water will fall on his head for hours, or
even for days if he can stand it that long.
The torture this inflicts is proved by an
experience that Sandow, the strong man,
had In Vienna several years ago. A school
teacher bet him that he would not be able
to let a pint of water, drop by drop, fall
on his hand. Sandow laughed at the very
idea of his not being able to stand it, and
the test began. Although the strong man
talked and TESTED gayly at first. it was not
long before he began to show signs of
distress. At about the two hundredth
drop-for the schoolteacher kept tally-an
expression of pain crossed his face When
the third hundred had been entered his
hand began to swell and grow red. Then
the skin burst and the pain grew more
and more eXcruciating. Finally, at the
four hundred and twentieth drop. Sandow
gave it up and acknowledged himself
beaten.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
His Choice.

From the Chicago Record-Herald.
a tall, lean cattleman from western Ne
braska met a friend the other day in the
lobby of the Great Northern hotel. He
had not seen him for nearly ten years,
and during that time the cowman had
been getting rich shipping steers to the
stoclxyards and gaining health and vigor
riding a broncho from morning till night
1t was only in the last few years that
he had begun to feel a lack in his life
do you know what I've come to Chi
cago for?' he said to his friend with the
enthusiasm of manner which comes from
a longing about to be gratified. "You
know it's lonesome out there on the ranch
with nobody but lot of cowboys, and for
the last year I've been trying to decide
whether to get married or buy a pianola
and now I've made up my mind I've
come to buy the pianola. | can shut that
up and push it back in the corner when
| get tired of listening to it, and it won't
feel hurt"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Must Have Tobacco Smell.

From the New York Sun.
"A book with any other smell might be
just as interesting. but you could never
make that woman believe So said the
librarian, pointing to a reader who was
literally nosing around among the book
shelves. Her criterion for judging a
book is the smell of tobacco Before |
learned of that eccentricity | frequently
recommended certain volumes for her pc
rusal. Before accepting my advice she
shifted at the books suspiciously.
=" L don't want this, she said one day.
1T smells of perfume. That means that
it is popular with women, consequently it
is not a strong book. The best books are
read by men, and invariably are redolent
of tobacco None but tobacco book for
me-"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
WHERE TAFT WAS WANTED.
Needed In a Slight Disturbance In a
NeiehborIy Way.

From the Chicago Record-Herald.
You know" declared Mrs Wibbsley,
that there's not one word of truth in
what your boy has said. My little Eddie
never threw a stone at anybody in his
life. | have taught him not to do such
things"
"oD you mean to tell me- snapped
Mrs. Waddleson. that Willie would tell
me a lie? I will certainly not believe
that he would say your boy threw the
stone if it wasn't so. My child has been
taught to always tell the truth"
" Ican't help it. | know my Eddie
never threw the stone"
He did
He didn't"
Don't you ever speak to me again
I'm sorry | ever moved into this neigh
borhood"
Nobody is keeping you here. You can
move out"
81 shall tell my husband about this"
Il have husband, too, and he isn't a
little sawed-off."
Don't you dare to make remarks about
my husbands personal appearance. You
-You-''
Go on and say it! I dare you to, you
red-headed spitfire,"
60 you'll be sorry for that: I'll show
you who's a red-headed spitfire. VIII
you please send back the half dozen eggs
and the slice of ham you borrowed last
week?'
yes. I'll send them back right away.
And they'll not be musty eggs nor doc
tored ham, either"
"oD you mean to insinuate that our
! eggs and ham We're not good?"
you can take it as you like"
"Those eggs We're strictly fresh and
the ham was the best in the market"
so you say!"
Don't you dare to tell me that I am
| not speaking the TRUTH
TIN not telling you anything. I con-
slider myself too much of lady to speak
to YOU"
"A lady? Ta har'
"Of course YOU cant be blamed for
doubling that 7 am lady. You woudn' t
! know a lady If you saw one
'.Talle care! You'll go too far"
There's your husband. Now tell him
all about it. defy both you''
Ladies, ladies'" said the astonished
man. "this is awful Stop it, Don't say
another word. No, 7 don't want to hear
anything about your quarrel. Drop it
right where it is till Taft gets back"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16

Keegan started for it, but this time with
astonishing rapidly. The workmen and
Keegan hurried after the seal fearing
that in its effort TO escape it would injure
itself in going down the stairs at the other
end.
By the light of their matches they saw
the seal again raise itself on its tail and
peer over the railing. At that time the
seal was directly over its pool. Keegan
dropping his matches, rushed at the up
right figure of the deep-sea mammal. Just
as he was near it, the seal with mighty
effort, Topped over the railing.
Down the stairway rushed the workmen.
led by heegan, expecting to find the seal
lying dead below, but they heard the fa
miliar roar of Babe, and very much re-
lieyed they were to find the seal swim
ming around its pool as though nothing
had happened. Keegan says the seal was
just out on a little sneaky hunt for more
fish
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
For Makers of Homes.

The second number of the Home
builders Supplement, which appears with
the December number of Country Life
in America, is replete with practical.
helpful information and inspiring pic
lures relating to the building and fur
nshing of houses and similar topics.
One article tells of a modern house at
Montpelier, Vermont, which is COM
pletely equipped with electric devices
stoves, radiators, lamps, chatting dishes,
coffee urns, shaving mugs, cigar light
ers, bed warmers and flatirons. Other
articles are "The New Ideas in Furni-
ture,' "A $500 House Built by an ANA
teur,'' Warm Air Heating Systems.
interior Woodwork" christmas Deco
rations," How Many Rolls of Wall Pa
per-" "Windbrealxs and Hedges" MAX
ing a Cement Sidewalk"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Vienna Cor. Los Angeles Times.
UI Tie management OF the Mduef-
Ochlingen Insane ASYLUM in starting

hECULlARLY happy was the thought
of the management of the Mauer-
Ochlingen Insane asylum in starting
newspaper written and published by the
inmates. The paper is called 1.-THE MO
Asylum News" The first number has just
been published, and has achieved a great
success. 1t is to be a monthly.
The asylum, which is the biggest in the
world, is situated just outside Vienna
Among the inmates are several newspaper
men and authors, printers, pressmen and
plenty of poets
When the herr director of the asylum
proposed the scheme it was hailed with
delight by the newspaper coterie of in
mates, and they all went frantically to
work. printing plant was already in
existence in the asylum. In his opening
address the editor details all this and then
says; What, then is lacking? Workers :?
A program? We need not shrink from
these" He concludes with and now for
ward. Every contribution will be received
with pleasure by the editor and carefully
examined as to suitability. No remunera-
ton, 1t is true, can be given to successful
authors as the management is, alas. roor
and mas no funds. But to be printed in
the MO News is something"
One of the interesting articles is headed
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
MADMEN GET OUT MAGAZINE

THE System of Healing by work-Opin-
ion of Patients on the Value of Occupa-
tion." An artist inmate writes: I'm my
judgment, one may say, with perfect
truth, that work Is life and the spice Of
life The history of civilization proves It,"
Another patient says he was suffering
from depression. He was put to playing
tennis, billiards, reading. and so on But
these did not interest him. The herr d.
rector then advised him to try carving
toys out of wood. He laughed at the sug-
gestion, as he was most awkward with his
fingers. He became interested, and is now
apparently cured of melancholy There
are dozen such statements.
Two or three columns of the paper are
devoted to hygienic advice and suggestions
of treatment. There is a puzzle page with
three prizes of 70 cents, 80 cents and o5
cents.
Critical essays reviews of books and
publications. with a scattering of jokes
and a dramatic critics column, make IN
the rest of this highly original four-page
paper, which. as it's motto says, is For
the mad. by the mad"
The dramatic critic writes of negro
minstrel show at the asylum. He ends
his notice by saying: Particularly charm
Ing was the little niger years old, who
joined in the cakewalk right merrily The
artistic results arrived at, however were
on the whole more original than high
class"
So is the MO News
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16

Shift to leave, but no whistle sounded,
and not until twenty minutes later did the
night Shift begin to troop out and mingle
with those on the day shift. They had
worked twenty minutes over their al
lotted twelve hours to get up their
ends"
On the night shift were a number of
boys. for it is harder to get girls by
night than by day. Two brothers were
particularly interesting. One looked full
ly fifteen; he was strong and well-grown
The other was very small-not up to his
. brothers shoulders.
How old areGyou fellows?"
sixteen"
Are you brothers,
Yep"
Twins ?"
Nope"
Both sixteen?"
Yep"
While the day shift and the night shift
come together one was at loss to
tell them apart. The might shifters"
looked tired and wan after twelve hours
of toll; but the day shutters" looked
tired and wan before their toll was begun
To the factory owner they differed only
because one had an affidavit of fourteen
and the other an affidavit of sixteen years
of age.
But in the early morning snow both
shifts left footprints that measured
seven and one-haf inches
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Loving Kindness.

From the Independent.
My dog tried to bite me. l liked the
dog, so / kicked him lovingly in the jaw
He understood that argument.
My grocer tried to cheat me. l liked
the grocer; did not kick him in the Jaw
but l told him lovingly that I would not
dead with him again. He understood that
argument
My baby tried to slap me. I liked the
baby, but | did not kick her in the jaw or
even cease to play with her | kissed her
lovingly on the cheek. She understood
that argument.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Woman, Funny Woman

From the New Haven Leader.
The Bachelor says that it is a funny
thing how a woman can keep her feet
warm by wearing pearl necklace.
Its funny too, that she needs hundred
dollar fur-lined coat to keep from catch
ing cold in church, and simply suffers from
heat at a party where nothing separates
her snowy shoulders from the naughty
air.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Reciprocity.

From the Chicago News.
The man stood contemplating the wreck
of his automobile.
oh WE'LL" he said, turn about is fair
play"
What do you mean by that?" queried
the passing stranger.
1T broke me first" explained the other
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
The Young Idea.

From the Baltimore American.
Teacher-What is the meaning of "aper-
ture?"
Glass (in chorus)-An opening.
Teacher-Tommy Smith, give a sentence
containing the word aperture"
Tommy-All the big stores have had
their fall apertures.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Terror Turned Their Hair White.

From the Caledonian.
1t has been repeatedly affirmed that
Queen Marie Antoinettes auburn hair
turned white in the days of the Reign of
Terror, and an English surgeon named
Parry states that just after the Indian
mutiny he actually saw the jet black hair
of a rebel Sepoy. who was under exam
nation and feared a dreadful death, turn
white in the course of hail an hour In
the time of the Commune in Paris the
dark hair of Baron Alphonse de Roth
schild was blanched in few hours.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
The Auto Novel

From the Washington Herald.
Read the latest, Grace?'
Tell me about it."
"Why, the heroine, a sweet little rum
about, is in love with handsome Pan
hard, but her father. the cruel Cadillac,
forces her to marry a big red Toledo
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
The Usefulness of Poets.

From the Washington Star.
DO you care for the great poets ?"
asked the literary young man.
''Well,' answered the truthful girl. 81
can't say | care much for the things they
wrote themselves. But their sufferings
and privations certainly make lovely biog-
raphieS.'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Heroism,

From the Baltimore American.
'That wit is real hero"
How
HE reviewed. that Chinese drama and
never said word about its being impossi-
BILE for the actors to miss their cues"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Choice of Heroines.

From the Chicago News.
The Maid-"What is your favorite style
of novel heroine?"
The Man-"Favorte style?'
The Maid-"Yes. Do you prefer one bet
ter than any woman could be or one that
is no better than she ought to be-"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Dust Protectors.

Prom the Chicago News.
Gunner-"That is a very polite porter
they have on this train"
Guyer-"So?'
Gunner-"Yes; before he begins to
brush you down he hands you a pair of
automobile goggles
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
HANDSOME
CHRISTMAS
TOKENS

AS Christmas shoppers
made long All that upOda and
designs Classes
Pins Cut Glass; China Bracelets Brooches Hat
short everything which Holiday shopper
whether old Oh young, udesre.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
There's a Difference.

From the Chicago News.
'Have you secured a position YETI
asked the young man who was at the head
of the graduating class last June.
mo" replied the chap who had graced
the other extremity of the class aforesaid.
"but I've got a job"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Used Advisedly.

From the Washington Herald.
1.-The duke Is impossible"
Now what do you mean by that?"
1T mean that he can't be true.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Bachelor Girl Reflections.

From the Boston POSh.
All men are equal, but none are SUI
perior.
l believe in women's rights-and lefts.
love children-other peoples.
A woman cannot reform a man by mar
ryiny him. But man can reform a wo-
mana man tailor.
From a pretty man, o Lord, deliver me!
Better a new woman than 1.-The old wo-
man."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Rival Bards.

From the Washington Herald.
"Canst match our Burns?" inquired the
Scot. I'm very sure that We cannot"
The Norseman smiled and murmured
low: I'VE had our ancient skalds, you
know"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Human Nature.

From the Washington Herald
Ever notice?'
Ever notice WHAT"
THAT just as soon as a man gets into
a secret society he begins to kick about
the laxity Of the admission rules?''
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
OFFICE FOR RENT.

We have one room too many.
Steam heat. Will rent to desir-
able tenant. Use of stenog. and
phone if desired. NJ, care Age
Herald.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-16
Value Received,

From the Washington Star.
1T costs more to live than it did years
ago." said the man who complains.
yes" answered the man who enjoys
modern conveniences, but it's worth
more"
The Jewish outlook., 1906-08-31
stories. "Pete SandersOn Tntervenes, -
and 1.-The Price Of Victory,' a thrilling
little sketch by Robert Aitken.
Trinidad

Mrs. A. Zeigler entertained the visitors
last Thursday.
Miss Blanche Sanders is home from a
visit in Chicago.
Miss Ray Goldsmith of Denver is the
guest Of Mrs. Sol. II. Jatfa.
Miss Carson Kahn left last week for
Denver where she will spend the winter.
The Misses Heitler entertained a few
friends last week in honor Of Miss Elliot
of Pueblo.
Miss Rose Elliot. who has been the
guest Of Miss Miriam Sanders, left for
her home in Pueblo.
Mr.. and Mrs. Rascower and mother.
Mrs. Monash Of Chicago, are spending
few weeks in Stonewall.
Mrs. Joseph Sanders entertained We'd
nesday in honor of Mrs. Abenheimer Of
Denver and Miss Elliot of Pueblo.
The Jewish outlook., 1906-08-31
Meet Ne at the Famous

The success in business depends on
fair treatment, good quality and hon
esty of purpose. The famous delicates-
sen department of the Levy-Lewin Mer-
camille Company has certainly proven
that the above three factors bring iney-
liable success. About one year ago
Levy & Levin opened the delicatessen
department under the able management
of Robert Goge. Since then the business
is increasing at Il wonderful stride.
Twice the management was compelled to
enlarge the seating capacity Of the lunch
room Now for the third time the lunch
room space must be enlarged and the
rear building on Curtis street will be
added to the lunch room to accommo-
date the public.
The saying. 'NTeet me at the Fa-
mous,'' has become by-wOrd in Den
ver 1t is the meeting place Of thou
sands Of people every day. AT the noon
hour one meets there people in every
walk of life. The manager of the large
department store, the professional and
business man enjoy their midday repast
with a Dutch lunch at the Famous.
Robert Goge, the efficient manager of
contract to prepare lunches for the men,
bers of the International Press Club
League which met in the city the past
week. and the newspaper boys were
pleased with the delicious food. Mr.. Goge
said: 81 am in the delicatessen and
Dutch lunch business all my life and I
was never more pleased than at the warm
appreciation from the newspaper boys
for the meals l prepared for them. You
see, newspaper men know what good
food is and the unanimous praise of the
way | treated them was most pleasing to
me. Our success in this department is
marvellous. Starting on a small scale.
the business has increased to such enor-
nous proportions that we had to rent
the rear building on Curtis street to en-
large our lunch room. We handle only
the best and choicest food the market
offers and that is the reason for our sue
cess,
The Famous is owned by the Levy
Levin Mercantile Company, of which
Lesser Levy is president, Joseph Cohn,
vice-president. and A. Levin secretary
and treasurer. Robert Goge is manager
of the delicatessen department.
The Jewish outlook., 1906-08-31
SHEARlTH ISRAEL TALMUD TORAt
HOLDS EXAMINATION.

For long time the members Of the
Congregation Shearith Israel, Tenth and
Lawrence streets, have felt the need of a
school where their children would be
taught the Hebrew language. and as the
desire for such school was general, Il
meeting was called. some two and one
half months ago, to consider the ques-