The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1906-05-24
when TWAIN WAS BLIND
Humorist sightless Once In a
Vast German Inn.
HOW BE SPENT A sLEEPLEss NIGHT

At Meeting For the Blind, Humor-
GUS Writer Tells of His Own Hours
of blindness ON a Dark Nisht-How
He Hit ut a Ghost and Broke Mir
ror-Long Hunt For a Sock.
A new poem by Richard Watson Gill
der, striking letter from Helen Kel-
Ter, an appeal for funds by Joseph II.
Choate and a funny story by Mark
Twain made up the programme of the
meeting held in the ballroom of the
Waldorf Astoria the other night by the
New York State Association For Pro-
noting the Interests of the Blind, says
the New York Times.
The new Glider poem was printed on
the programmes. Here it is:
pity the Blind" Yes: pity those
Whom day and night inclose
In equal dark to whom the suns
keen flame
And pitchy night time are the same.
But pity most the blind
Who cannot see
That to be kind
Is life's felicity.
Mr.. Clemens presided over the meet
ing and told the story of when he was
hopelessly blind for space Of about
two hours.
II have mass of statistics here" he
said to the large audience filling the
boxes and seats on the ballroom floor,
'but l am afraid of them, because
Ia, rs do II,
rugged study, mathematics. can only
figure on the multiplication table up to
Z times 8, which is-94. I can't even
figure on the name of the society, it is
so long. would write it out for you
to take home with you, but can't spell
1t, and Andrew Carnegie is somewhere
down in Virginia. This association
needs $4,000, and we may be able to
collect it here. There is no graft in it
or l would not be presiding.
II know what it is to be blind. was
blind once. 1t occurred after an excur-
sion from Heidelberg to medieval
town about twenty miles away. The
Rev. Joe Twitchell of Hartford was
with me. He is still living. always
like minister with me ON an eXcur-
sion. He makes fine lightning rod
for such excursions as the one we
made We went up by rail, and circum-
stances were such as to bring us back
on raft.
I'm this ancient town, which had not
altered a building or put up new one
in 1900 years, we had room for the
night which was as large as the beds
were small. We had to sleep on our
sides in the beds. Twitchell's bed was
way down south in that room, and
mine was farthest north. l couldn't
sleep after the light was put out and
finally decided to leave the room and
Ego into the square and sit on the edge
of tinkling fountain.
"Of in the southwest of that room
mouse got busy, and threw something
at it. 1t pleased the mouse, and it kept
on making noise. l couldn't stand it
with the other occasional noises in the
room. The darkness of that room lay
in great cakes. got out of bed and
clawed around in an endeavor to accu-
mulate my clothes. got most of the
things in the room In a pile save one
sock. l began to hunt that sock On
hands and knees l crawled for three
hours.
II might have concluded that the
sock was in the wash and saved myself
some adventures, but did not think of
that. l remembered distinctly that
there We're six chairs and table In
that room before l went to bed, but
butted thirty-six chairs and enough ia
bles to fill the dining room of the Wal
dorf
FINALLY I decided to stand up in
what clothes l had on me. l saw a
shadowy form, and had no intention
Of letting any ghost bite me without
struggle l took one of the thirty-slx
chairs and smashed it, 1t was a mir
ror. Then reflected
Il got back on my hands and knees
and Travelled a few more miles of this
Oklahoma of q bedroom. Finally I
reached a wall and stood up again.
felt shelf. l was delighted. 1t was
the first encouragement l had received.
l was then certain that had not pass
ed the city limits.
"On the shelf was pitcher of water.
CROPPED for it and it fell. 1t fell on
Joe Twitchell's face. 1t nearly drown
ed Twitchel, but it brought ME the
glad relief of company. When he
struck Il match l got back to bed.
81 have never found the sock, but the
hours of darkness l experienced in the
explorations in that room We're not
empty hours. They served their pur-
pose. The Rev. Joe Twitchell had
longer legs than l, and we both Wore
pedometers on that trip. AS l walked
in my sleep ! always wore mine to bed
B with me. When got up in the morn
Ing found that I had gained sixteen
4 miles on Twitchell Again, my reflect
ing after the mirror incident made me
remember to tell the landlord that
Twitchell had broken it,
The Reason.
Her seat was empty Easter morn,