Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-04-14
SERENADED THE MULES

This daily line OF stun IN the New York
papers about the alleged eocentricitiss OF
Col. Bingham. the army oficer now serving
as New Tork's top cop, or commissioner Of
police, reminds me frequently OF . sure
enough eccentric army oflcer In whose
command used to be- said weil-known
boss barber OF Washington who served for
many years in the regular army. He was
the late Col Jock Mckenzie Three-f1r-
gered Mae he was anectionately nick
named by the men under hini-of the 4th
Cavalry. Mckenzie was fine. square man,
and able campaigning soldier as ever
flashed saber In the sunlight, but he was
sure eccentric, especially in garrison. and
absolutely unfathomabie by officers and
men who had been with him for years.
The story Is still told in the army OF the
time Col. Jock. Mckenzie made the 4th
Cavalry band put in whole day discourse
Ing music to the mules in the corral. was
stationed at Fort Clark, Texas. where the
thing happened. at the time. and 1t was
about the most humorous incident l ever
sa " in the service. The way of 1t was this:
The leader of the band was a square
head. as foreigners of any sort of Teutonlc
or Scandinavian origin are called In the
army. and he belonged TO the toady ana
tickspittie type of enlisted men. And that
was just the kind of enlisted man that
Jock Mckenzie had 1t in for. You had to
stand up before Mckenzie and have your
say to him like a man IL YOU hoped to win
out OF a mess. He wouldn't stand for
crawling, crawfishing. or forehead knuck-
ling Well. the enlisted men at Fort Clark
wanted to give a hop, and a committee of
us went over to this band leader of the 4th
Cavalry to see about the music for the
hop:
Forty dollars said the band leader, al
most before we'd got through telling him
what we wanted.
This was a poser. We had figured on
paying him reasonable sum, but $40 was
$40 more than the price charged by the
band leader for the music for a civilian
blowout.
"'What are you giving usr inquired one
Of our committee of the band leader. You
play all night al the officers hops for moth
ing. and you only hit the jumpers In town
for $50 for nights string-scraping and
wind-pushing. What kind of a game Is this
you're putting up?'
T" Forty dollars replied the mean duck
OF band leader, and that settled it. We
slid over in a body to the old mans quar-
ters to see what he'd have to say about
near him IL we liant felt that the band
loaded was trying to do us. We found the
old man In one of his closemouthed hui
mors. One of us stated the case to him.
The band leader is trying to give us
the worst of 1t. How about it?' was the
way the thing was put to Col. Jock Nc
kenzie.
The old man twiddled his thumbs and
smiled in queer way he had.
Pay him what he asks he said, finally,
and we left. We were sure disappointed in
the old man. 1t was the first time he had
ever gone back on us In matter that had
been put to him fairly.
THE hop came off all right and we had a
pretty big time. We paid the band leader
his $40 In advance, and he gave us good
music. although 1t wasn't $40 worth A lot
of "a, tlN,
and appeared to get as much fun out of 1t
as the men. Col. Mckenzie showed up about
midnight with his orderly behind him. He
looked pleased.
This is the way to do it, said he I
like to see the officers and men of my COM
mand mix and mingle aat these social af-
fairs. Promotes good feeling, and is good
/, fer officers and good for men. But 1 I'M
derstand that there has been little con-
tention as to the music. I'll see about that
in the morning, You boys go ahead and en-
joy yourselves till revelle IL you want to-
I'VE took the old man at his word and
kept the thing a-going till first call for
reveiile at in the morning. Then all
hands made a break for quarters to stand
reveille. 1t was still pretty dark, but we
made out the old man standing in the mid
die of the parade ground. AS he generally
remained In bed till about 10 o clock In the
morning We wondered what was going to
come off
After the reveille roll call the officer of
reported all hands present or accounted for.
Officer of the day called out the colo
mel, order the musician of the guard to
sound band call
Band call at that hour of the morning
at reveille? The old man had us all guess
ing for fair. The members of the band had
Just gone to their quarters from the hop,
dead tired after their nights work The
trumpeter blared the band call
g Clap the double time on to that call
shouted the colonel to the trunpeter, and in
about eight seconds the weary bandsmen
came hopping over the parade ground ell
BOWS up their blouses half buttoned. the
band leader putting In front at speed when
he saw the old man standing on the parade
ground. The band lined up close to the
commanding officer. The leader did the sa-
luting act.
" 'Er-um-your music last night was
pretty good-pretty good. said the old man
to the leader. You-et-were pretty we'll
paid for it. too. were you not?'
The band leader stood mute 1t was IN
to him to say something. but he wasn't
man enough-and Jock Mckenzie hated to
see soldier thumb the buttons on his
blouse and stand speechless when he adj
dressed him.
'Eh-yes-good music went on Colonel
JOCK might even say, demmed fine
music. / like good music So do all NV
officers. So do all OF my men But | ven
ture TO say that neither my officers nor
my men are so fond of good music as my
mules. L don't suppose there's such an
extraordinarily musical lot of mules at any
post IN this country as that bunch of mules
of mine down in the corral. Humph! Band
leader. you will Immediately get yourself
and your band into heavy marching order
and march down to the mule corral There
you Will render the best music of which
the band is capable until retreat this even
ing Do not SLOUGH the music. l shall be
around at intervals to see to 1t that YOU
do not SLOUGH the music. Your bandsmen' 8
dinners shall be sent to them at the noon
hour, and you and they shall have fifteen
minutes to eat 1t. You will resume the
music at the end OF this f1fteen-minute
period. and keep it up till first call for
retreat is sounded. officer of the day,
dismiss the men to their quarters
We'll, that mule corral serenade was
sure worth any mans money to hear and
see. The bandsmen sat around on bales
of hay, in their heavy marching order gear,
down to the tin cup and plate and knife
and fork, jangling every time they made
a move. We all took turns going down to
the mule corral to see the performance
and make the band leader feel good We
threw ourselves at full, length on the grass
and chewed straws and just watched EN-
puff and pant. The mules seemed to like
the music by the wiggling of their ears.
only IL made some of the od-time army
mules so sad that they kept up a steady
Ike hunk during most Of the day The
old man turned up at the mule corral pick
Ing his teeth, about o'clock in the after
noon. Some of the bandsmen. including