Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-01-30
MRS. TIMMINS'
MEDICINE CHEST.

a little medicine chest, with every
thing handy, is an excellent one, and
if you can find those pills, I'll take a
dose"
They are just what you need" said
tongue is coated and YOU complexion
ooks very yellow lately"
Il don't remember calling on you
FOR any remarks about my complex
ion, Mrs. Timmins, and as for my
tongue being coated, we will assume
that it has also got on vest. trousers
n boots. What | asked for was pills.
Mrs. Timmins-pills, not oratory."
Mrs. Timmins hustled to the cup
board, and, after considerable search,
found a ribbon box with one end
knocked out. In it were half a dozen
blue papers that belonged to the
bulky portion Of a sedlitz powder, a
dose and a half of cough mixture, a
paper of salts, an empty arnica bottle,
two Jumps of sugar, four biscuits, half
a lemon, a lump of camphor, a mus
tard leaf. and several pill boxes with
out covers.
Il don't think these are the pills
you want" said Mrs. Timmins,
scratching in the bottom of the medi-
cine chest. do you remember wheth-
er they were white, brown or black"
I'm not particular about the color"
responded Mr.. Timmins, sardonically,
This looks like them" said Mrs.
Timmins, squashing one between her
thumb and finger, and smelling it eau
tiously. do you remember whether
they were sugar-coated?"
II do not" rejoined Mr.. Timmins,
nor do l remember whether they
wore ~stand-up collars or a plug hat.
If you think I'm going to sit here like
a book on heraldry and furnish you
with the antecedents Of those pills,
you've lost sight of relations, Mrs.
Timmins. I want to know whether you
can find them or not"
rs this one of them?" asked Mrs.
Timmlns, chasing a refractory pellet
into a corner and fishing it out with
some misgivings. at looks like it.
and | can't think what else it's for.
SuppCS you axe IL.
Does it say so on the cover? Does
the cover say it's anti-bilious?"
II can't find the cover,' responded
Mrs. Timmins, helplessly. Here's a
box, will that do?"
ooh, certainly; an%ything'll do for
mel" shrieked Mr.. Timmins. "All
want is a box and a pill. 1t doesn't
make any difference whether they go
together or not. Do you know a pill
from a post office? Can you tell the
difference between a pill box and a
policeman? D'you suppose I'm going
to eat one of those things without
knowing whether it's a railway ticket
or a corn plaster? What did We mix
'em up for? D'you think I'm going to
speculate in those pills till one hits
my liver? or to take 'em in courses
like an Equitable banquet? Have !
got to get out a search warrant to find
those pills?"
Suppose you put or this mustard
plaster" suggested Mrs. Timmins, hold
ing it up before him. Mustard is the
best thing in the world to excite &C.
ton of the liver"
ooh, yes, certainly, certainly,
sneered Mr.. Timmlns. What a head
you've got for physic! If l could ge;
you to hold a red light in your mouth
and tie a pestle and mortar round
your neck, I'd start you for a drug
store. How are you going to tie a
mustard plaster round my liver? Don't
you know the difference between a
mustard plaster and a box of pills:
What did you spill 'em for? D'you
think | am going to eat mixed pills
like candies? Been trying to make
a pill salad, haven't you?"
Let me think" said Mrs. Timmins,
musingly. "These white ones are
%quinine; these brown one are the
opium; now l remember, and the
black ones are the ones you want. How
many make a dose?"
Monet" yelled Mr.. T1mmins. "Dyou
suppose I'm going to take those things
on their color? Think I'm going to
run the chances of filling myself up
with opium, just to test your eye for
tints? or shut my eyes and draw a.
pill, as if l was playing a game OF for
feits? don't want any pills. Throw
''em out! Pitch that medicine chest
out of the window! Next time want
pills I'll"
Mrs. Timmins went to the cupboard,
put the chest away, and as she did so,
noticed a little box that had fallen
out on the shell.
Here they are, DEAR" she said,
smiling, and pointed out the label to
her liege.
"Oh. yes, of counsel" growled Mr..
Timmins, you found 'em, didn't you?
Couldn't give EN- to me at first, could
you? Another time, Mrs. Timmins, l
want you to let things alone. Don't
ever put anything more Of mine in
that chest; you hear me? l don't
want those things tonight, because
I'm not sure whether I'm bilious, but
when am | want these pills where |
can find 'em; you understand? don't