Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1906-11-30

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ing from Tommy Little LizzIe-Tom.
my Is the butcher come with his BILL
Philadelphia Record.
''rhat young widow says she is go
ing TO break her husbands WILL" II
thought she did that soon after they
were married. d."--Baltimor American.
In New York.-"Can't you think Of
some unusual thing TO dc tonight
something we haven't done beforeT
"We might spend the evening at home"
Life.
THAT man never uses money In his
campaigns" "No," answered Senator
Sorghum. ''he merely makes promises.
He uses credit instead OF cash. -
Washington Star.
The Parsoh-when ! became min
lister. gave up playing the plano. The
Elder-Then you became an expounder
In double sense OF the word, didn't
youf-Yonkers Statesman.
Cholly--I thought perhaps you had
preference for Bobby Jones? Mildred
Nonsense! You are just as welcome
here as he is. Why, he Is the most In
sufferable bore know.-Judge.
"why don't you get an autOmoblle"
'My dear sir" was the answer. II
don't need H. have dog. three life
insurance policies and boil. have
trouble enough. ."-washington Star.
Cicely--why don't you learn to
swim; Muriel-There Is no one to
teach me. Clcely-EIow about the boys?
Muriel-Oh, they've all taught me be-
fore; different summers you know
Brooklyn Life.
Gladys (at the seashore)--Are you
having as many proposals as you had
last seasonf Mayme (wearlly) oh,
yes. but they are all from the same
men | was engaged TO last summer
Detroit Free Press.
"But." protested the pert young
housewife, you ought to take of some
thing for the holes in these doughnuts."
Every well. madam" replies the wise
baker; "I'll allow you one cent each
for the holes when you return them
Chicago Daily News.
"what." asked the sweet girl grad
uate, was the happlest moment of
your life?" ''rhe happiest moment OF
my life,' answered the. old bachelor,
was when the jeweler took back the
engagement ring and gave me collar
buttons In hange."-Chicago News,
Mrs. Windfall-Just Imagine, Hiram
One Of the sailors told me that this
boat is now In communication with her
sister ship! wonder what the con
versation Is about? Mr.. Windfall-
Humph! Most likely each is asking
the other II her cargo is on straight
Puck.
81 presume, SIR" began the young
man, timidly, shat you will consider II
very presumptuous for fifty-dollar
railroad clerk to apply for your daugh
ter's hand In marriage" "Not at all
my boy" responded Senator Sllckguy
kindly. "I dare say your side CRAFTS
are quite remunerative."
Don't you object to your husbands
. poker playlng?" Goodness, no! like
It. You see he always plays with Mr.
: Jones, and Mrs Jones and l are
friends II Mr.. Jones wins she takes
the money away from him and divides
with me. II my husband wins l divide
with her.-Cleveland Leader
The two young men reached the dool
at the same time, is Miss Swelling
ton int" they asked. The maid, Norah
looked at them and shook her head dis
: consolately. "She's In to wan av "
, an out to tn other" she said at last
"but tn two av We coming together has
rot me so tangled 0im blest II o.
know which Is which. But come rolght
. in both av We, an orll ax her to come
down an pick ye out"-Judge.
What's In Name?-An Irish sol
dier In local regiment during the late
war arrived at camp late one night HI
: was challenged with the usual, "WhC
goes therev After pondering few mo
! ments, and the challenge being repeat
. ed and thinking he might avoid pun
ishment he answered; Kitchener" II,
was immediately knocked down witt
= the butt end Of q rifle. While he wa,
" on the ground ruefully rubbing hiI
head. the sentry exclaimed: "Why, IT.
. .. CaIlaghan! What did ye say It wai
Kitchener forr' "Shure," came the .an
swsr, when ye would do this to Kftch
snar, phwat you'd re do to Callsghsnf 2