The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1906-06-07
TWAIN ON vERACITY
Claims to Know More About I
Than J. d. Rockefeller, Jr.
SAYS HE NEVER LIED IN HIS LIFE

Humorist Then Tells Real Story of
the Cherry Tree and Hatchet Ex-
presses Surprise That "a Boy Had
Such Good Chance to Lie and
Di6n't-How He Found Fitting Gil
max to One of His Famous Tales.
Mark Twain was at the second annu-
al dinner and entertainment given by
the Dickens Fellowship the other night
at the New York Press club in memory
of Charles Dickens, says the New York
Herald.
George Cary Eggleston, honorary
president of the fellowship, was toast
master and introduced Mr. Clemens,
who recited his troubles with the peo-
pie who were forever trying to tell
him he was the greatest man ON earth,
or that he needed lessons in the line Of
upbuilding his character in the matter
Of veracity These suggestions hurt
him much, he said, as he was born SEN
sitive and he was twice as sensitive
now as then. He declared he had never
told a lie in his life.
"JOhn D. Rockefeller, Jr., told his
Sunday school class few weeks ago."
continued Mark Twain, "all about We
racity, and why it was better that ev
erybody should always keep plentiful
supply on hand, and 1 want to say to
you that among the hundreds of letters
v
suggested that 1 oughc to attend Mr..
ROckefeller's class. l know Mr.. Rookie
Teller very well. He is a fine fellow
and competent in many ways, but as
to his knowledge Of veracity-well he
is only thirty-dve years old, and l am
seventy. 1 have been familiar with
veracity twice as long as he has"
Mr.. Clemens told how the world at
large had entirely lost the point of the
story little George Washington told his
father about the cherry tree episode.
'The point is not necessarily in the
truthfulness Of the small boy in admit
ting using the Ratchet, but In the re-
markable sagacity Of seven-year-old
boy under trying circumstances" said
be. 1.-The evidence was against the boy
The boy didn't need to tell his father
that he couldn't tell lie, because he
could have done so had he felt like 1t.
and he wouldn't have had to attend q
Rockefeller class to teach him how,
The real pith Of the story was the as
constituent of Georges father to find
that he had son who had a chance to
tell lie and didn't do it,
In talking Of his lecture on Artemus
Ward Mark Twain told of his trouble
In finding a fitting climax to his ia
nous story Of Wards encounter with
railroad bore"-a species that he
particularly detested-who took the seat
beside him In a car on a journey to
Washington shortly after the close of
the war, says w. II. Merrill in Har-
per's Weekly. Artemus was engaged
In reading and in no mood for CONVEX
sation. But the bore was not to be
baked. Say" he observed to his VIC
tim, ''d'ye think Grantll get the nomi-
nation for president?" Artemus looked
up from his book, according to Twain,
gazed curiously at the stranger and
said: Grant? Grant? Who is Grant?"
ParalyZed for moment, the inquisi-
tor exclaimed, aye don't mean to say
ye never heard Of General U. S. Grant"
"Never heard Of him." solemnly an
swered Artemus. This confession dazed
bis seatmate for few minutes, but he
returned to the charge with the insinu-
ating suggestion, ''They say old Gree
ley is agin him." Again the serious
eyes were lifted from the book. "Gree
ley" he asked-"old Greeley? l never
heard Of him either. 1t appears to me,
sir, that you know more strangers than
any man ever metz This was in
deed a "sockdolager." 1t took the In
terlocutor fully ten minutes to recover
from his surprise. Meanwhile Artemus
was deep In his book Finally the talk
st1ve one could endure It no longer,
+ and he broke out with, "Say,v you
darned fool, did you ever hear Of Adj
amp t@h-r' = =
l. adam? Adam?" replied Artemus
meditatively "Wh-wh-atn was his Hrst
name r. This closed the conversation.
Il couldn't seem to get good enough
climax. :" said Mark, who confessed to
tnventing the story, until thought Of
my old friend Adam r~ ...<,...