New-York tribune., 1906-06-05
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

An American travelling in Europe engaged the
services OF a courier Arriving in Austria the
American asked the servant TO register his name
according the police regulations of that country
The man replied that he had already anticipated
the order and registered him American
name?' asked the master. II can't exactly pro-
it; but copied 1t carefully from your port
manteau, sir" But it is not there. was the
reply. Bring the book" The register was
brought and revealed, instead OF very plain Eng
lish name of two syllables. the following porten-
tous entry: Monsieur Warranted Solid Leather"
Hiram" said Mrs. Corntossel what makes
you say, BY gosh so much and wear your trousers
II m rehearsin'." answered the farmer. 'for the
benefit of the summer boarders who are comm
they won't think we're real country folks like
they've been readn' about t"-Washington Star
A missionary returned from the upper Congo
says he saw strange platform thirty feet high.
in front of the house of the head sentry OF viii
Iage The latter informed the missionary that 1t
was large stage from which TO shoot leOpards.
but natives told him that it torture plat
form Unfortunates who did not bring in sufficient
quantities OF rubber were first beaten. sometimes
almost 10 death, and then taken TO the top of the
structure and compelled to gaze at the sun until
relatives brought the necessary amount of rubber
redemption
Pessimistic-"GOod newsl'' cried the lawyer.
waving paper above his head. I've secured a
reDrteVe for you.
"a reprieve2' replied convicted murderer
ndifrersntly
why. yes; don't you see. you ought to be
&Sr' replied the prisoner soomy. that simply
delays are dangerous Standard and
Times
The French papers relate a curious romance.
lean Marie lie Bloidsc was mourned victim of
Mont Pelee for he visiting Martinique at the
time of the eruption His brother and sister live
at Maisons-Ifte. and the other evening the latter
was seated at the piano in her sitting room. when
she suddenly found herself clasped In Jhe OF
an unknown intruder who burst into the room,
covered with dust and having all the appearance OF
long travel Her shrieks brought her brother rush
ing into the room. and he completed her amaze
ment by falling embrace the stranger. Then the
explanations came. The intruder was other than
the brother who four years had been mourned
as dead He had succeeded in getting board a
ship bound for Australia Thence he made his way
TO Japan. and during the war with Russia praotised
blockade running with such success that he made a
million. This of his abors had left him time
for thoughts of home and kindred.
A USEFUL WORD.
Ny teeth In rage often gnash
To hear that exclamation.
picture or youths mustache
A daisy in a mountain range
OF majesty evokes that strange
Expression, "Ain't IL cute!''
Some noted author she has read
say, IR2ckcfay or Dickens
A funny thing that one said
A mother hen and chickens:
The ocean broad 10 fury stirred
Hel latest summer sLlt-
For all OF these sho has word
Descriptive which 10 cute"
No wonder that speak with heat;
Were II Immense" stunning"
or ''nerce'' lovely" swell" or Sweat
or even II cunning
ia speak my mind to her. but pause
For of a dispute.
I think she says IL just because
Sho thinks it's awful cute.
-ChicaSo NswA