davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
LARGE AND SMALL COLLEGES.

From the Pittsburg Post
 Debate is agitating some members or the eastern press over an address oy Chancellor McCracken, of the University of the City of New York holding that the small college is superior to the large and inveighing against the elective SUI perlor system of qualifying for degrees His chief position is that the man Who does not want to study mathematics ana logic is the man who needs them most.
 It is always diverting to note the fa- milar arguments recur when this oia question cycles around. It Is never ad- Indicated, nor the principle enforced that one must stand by the decisions. When the old colegian grows introspeetlve, and remorsefully thinks he detects the lacking element in his education he encounters In the public prints the idea that he ought to have studied something for which ne had no bent. Something of the asceuc style of modification of the mind should have been practiced and education made not a delightful pursuit and gulping down of favorite brain food. Euclid's aphorism about there being no royal road to seom- etrv hasn't the remotest connection with the case. The man who must study ge- ometry or wants to study 1t, simply has no boulevard to glide over. But If he elects not to study it, Is that perforee the very thing he should be made to groan over because a defect is disclosed. and he may repent in after-life?
 It is not clear that the elective system Is not the better and the larger universi- ties the best for the democratic American to attend Nor Is 1t acceptable that minds do not differ In their absorption of vari- ous kinds of learning and such differ ences cannot be altered by hagellation of the brain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
ONLY WOMAN IN TOWN,
Population Jolns In Celebrating Wed4
 ding In Her Boarding House.

Watertown, s. D.,-The first romance and the first wedding to take place on the Minneapolis and St. Louis railroad has occurred at Florence. Not only Is it the first wedding but it narks the carrying off of the only woman in the town of Florence. the cul, mination of a spirited rivalry for her hand among the pioneer residents of the , booming town.
 There were great doings in honor of the event, the entire town. including the re- Jeoted suitors, Joining in the celebration. Little Cupid carried on his machinations to the accompaniment of rattlng dishes and the incense of ham and eggs but his arrows were none the less deadly. few days ago Emma Sheppard was the only woman In Florence. She still claims this distinctive, but now signs herself Mrs. w. P. Austin"
 When the town was first started and horde of men thronged there living in tents and wherever they could get to shelter them, the cry was for food.
 Miss Sheppard saw her opportunity. She was an eastern woman, delicate and with cultured associations.
 The rough conditions daunted her for . time, but back in Iowa were parents de- pendent upon he.-parents who had ex- pended their means in giving her an edu- cation.
 She had taken a course in cooking and domestic economy at Ames college and she decided tQ~srealize upon it.
 The result was that the delicate artiet. " or ner cuisine was so attractive that the denizens of the boom town focked to her table with an enthusiasm that would have put to shame the sated din- CTS at expensive restaurants.
 Then began the hot rivalry among the single men of the town for her hand
 Fully third of the population was in the hunt, but Austin proved irresista- ble,. and. to the accompaniment of rat ting dishes and the sweetening influence of the steaming coffee, the sweet and tender condolences were exchanged.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
sohoola Are Crowded.

Never before have 1 seen so much in- terest taken In school matters" said the principal of one of the suburban public schools yesterday.
 .I have been compelled to refuse admit tance to children applying for seats in my school until more room and seats can be supplied. I understand that al- most all the schools of the district are in the same condition.
 There are many private schools in the city and district, and l am told that the attendance at all of them is unusually large. The same reports are coming from all sections of the state, and I look upon it as promising well for the future welfare of this commonwealth.
 "A tidal wave of educational enthusi- asm seems to be sweeping the state. and teachers and school officials everywhere are puzzled to know how to meet the de- mands."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
A RECON MENDATloN.
the Kansas City Star.

From the Kansas City Star.
 New York firm applied to AbrahaU Lincoln some years before he became president as to the financial condition of A neighbor MT. Lincoln replied as fol- lows: "Yours of the 10th instant re- ceived. l am well acquainted with MT. = and know his circumstances. First of all. he has wife and baby; together they ought to be worth s50,000 to any man. Secondly he has an office in which there is table worth S.50, and three chairs. say worth s1. Last of all. there is in one corner large rat hole that will bear looking into Respectfully yours. A. Lincoln
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
HALL OF SHAME"
Men Addicted to Liquor Will Be Photo.
 araphed By Law.


 Fon Du Lae,-Councilmen of Fond du Lac have decided on method to shame the drinkers, who, when they have enough, do not know anything. Men of other than moderate habits will be pho tographed and their photographs hung in the barrooms of every saloon In town. That is the manner In which the city council, after praysrful consideration, has decided to deal with the men, natives and strangers wno can't take drink and let 1t alone.
 For a long time the saloons have been forced to keep a record of names and descriptions of regulars" but they com plained that they could not penetrate the disguises assumed by some of the most hardened sinners
 The city council felt that it was too much to expect every bartender to be gifted with second sight. Hence the pho tograph scheme.
 For the regular" to get drink now he'll have to change his face. Even this may not be enough, and the council is considering putting the entire Bertillon system into effect One alderman, who read things, has heard about the effi- cacy of thumb marks, and that scheme may be tried If the photographs fail
 The council decision has put the saloon keepers up against hard proposition Some of them have art tendencies, and they do not think the pictures forced on them by the city will harmonize with the mural decorative scheme of their estao- lishments Then there is the problem Of room Some of the saloons might nave to be enlarged or have picture gallery to annex Only the photographers take to the scheme with undiluted saticfac-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
TIP TO THE KIDS.

From the Gsisridge (Kan) Tribune.
 A word to you, sonny-you little 12 or lo- year-old boy who is smoking cigarettes on the sly What do you want to be when you grow up-a stalwart, healthy viz orous, road-shouldered man, or little puny, measly, no count, weak-minded dude? If you want to be a man, strong like man, with hair on your face, brains in your head and muscles in your limbs, you Just let those cigarettes alone. If you want to be a thing, pitied by your folks, despised by the girls and held in contempt by the fellows, keep right on smoking and end your days in the insane asylum.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

lation to county convicts is sadly needed, and the state board of convict inspectors could not better serve the state than by preparing a bill covering that distressing subject. It may be possible to pass a wise, just and hu- mane bill despite the ring of selfish interests that will rise up against it. An effort to do so should be made.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
Killing Frost Dates.

The time is approaching when the appearance of frosts becomes a prob ability but Alabama has not had in the period of records a killing frost before October 25, and in one year no frost appeared until February 12. The average date of a killing frost in this state ranges from November 10 to No vember 20, and this average fits all the other gulf states and Georgia also.
 A killing frost in October would re- duce the cotton crop at least million bales, while killing frost about No vember 15 would lead to the opening of every possible boil. In the season of 1900-01 no frost whatever occurred in Galveston, New Orleans or Pensa- cola, and yet on November 10 of that season frosts came at Eufaula, Mobile and Montgomery. The wind and hu- midity are sometimes antagonistic to frosts. Light frosts may be expected fin Alabama this month, but killing frosts are not due under the law of averages until November is well ad. yanced.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
SOME FAMOUS PUNSTERS.

that the well known nonsense verse on Crocketts "Cleg Kelly" was an i'm. promptu of the canon's. There was an old person of Delhi who couldn't read Crocketts "Clea
 Kelly"
 When they said, Its the fashion,, He replied. In a passion,
 What then? So is Marie CoreIi,"
 !
 Ainger's best known bon mot is prob- aoly that on the style prescribed to the contributors to the Dictionary of Na- tinoal Biography" His suggestion was NO flowers, by request" Altogether ms piography leaves on you the impress sion or gentle soul who was an abso. lutely ideal friend.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
VENICE.
By John Hay,

 Love, Tn the summer night do you recall Midnight, and Venice and those skies ef June, Thick strewn with stars, when from the still lagoon we glided noiseless in the dim canal? sense of some forgotten festival Hung over us, and our own heart beat in tune. With passionate memories, when the young moon Lit up on dome and tower and palace wall, We dreamed what ghosts of bygone love made part Of that still night and trembling amor ous air; saw in those rich beams that kissed your hair Those breezes warm with bygone lover's sighs. All the old beauties of Venice in your eyes, All the dead loves of Venice in my heart.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
The Iron Market.

Birmingham spot iron continues to sell at fancy prices. For some weeks past small lots for quick delivery has been bringing ST on a No. basis. Yesterday a car load lot of No. I foundry was sold for SIS.
 While iron for delivery in the first ana second quarters of 1907 mas been selling for $15 to 15.50. on No. ? basis. well in- formed men in the trade are predicting a biQhsr level
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
FOR CLEAN OATHS.
from the London Tribune.

From the London TriDune
 At thu commencement of the business at Higate police court Sir Francis Cory Wright called attention to the fact that ''The Book upon which witnesses were to be sworn in future had celluloid wash able covers. He thought every one would agree that a desirable improvement had been effected. On the cover are the arms of the county of Middlesex It will be the duty of the usher of the court to keep the cover clean.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR,
I,ron inc New York Press

From the New York Press.
 There is hardly any investment that is more of risk than marrying for money
 Maybe if people loved their children less they would be able to support themselves
 Keeping up appearances keeps more men down in their finances than any oth- CT one thing in the world.
 If men who are engaged want to be successful husbands they will do well to save up some of their love-malSing for use after marriage
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
FAKE PERFORMERS.

FAKE PERFORMERS. The yellow magazines they knock, The yellow papers. too; The systems that corrupt the land And revolution brew. They talk about the mighty trusts That have a strangle hold, About the greedy financiers (. Who sell their souls for gold They rant about the habits of The giddy social throng And many many practices So very very wrong. An hundred weIghty problems vex The chaps with lofty brows From fixing up the tariff to Our broken marriage vows, And yet you'll always find that they Are much disposed to balk. When called upon to battle and Do something more than talk Children are going to school by telephons
 out in snowy North Dakota, in which casa the rod Is spared If nobody else will give Secretary Root
 a welcome home we will. Rah PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
IN DANGER,

Washington had just announced that he couldn't tell lie.
 Alas" moaned his father, with such high morals you will grow up bank wrecker."
 Covering his face with his hands, the strong man wept.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

The Cubans should get ready to wei come benevolent assimilation, which Uncle Sam keeps on tap at all times
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
Minnesota Ore Deal.

The reported closing of the great orc land deal in Minnesota is an event of importance and magnitude In the iron world not equaled since the formation or the steel trust itself. The holdings of lake iron ore are thus stated:
 Tons. United States Steel Corporation. I ,25O, ,oOO0 GOO Great Northern and Northern
 Paclno ......s.. ooU,OuV,uVO Cambria Steel Co., ............... 52,O0O,0OO Shenango w. P. Snyder's hold
 ings ...,.. Zz,W0,Voo J. w Longyear, personal hold
 1ngs ,.,.... ..'s.,s.' 3o'OV,uOV Corrigan. Mckinney x Co. .... 25,000,0o0 Cleveland Cliffs Marquette
 range). .... ... .,, 35,0OO,O0O Jones & lI.aughlin ............ 21,OO0, 900 Pickands, Mathed & Go. ...... 20,0O0.OOO International Harvester Co., .... 100000 Lackawana Steel Co., .......... $500, eco Rogers, Brown & Co. ..,........ 100000 Republic Iron and Steel,....... 5000, coo La Belle Iron and Steel ........ 100000 Cherry Valley Co. ... .......... 6,000,000
 The Great Northern, the Northern Pacific and the Longyear holdings are transferred by the reported deal to the steel trust, but no money passes in payment at this time. The ore de- posits are in fact leased, and the steel trust is to pay royalty ranging from cents to $1.75 a ton, according to the richness of the ore. The ore deposits are about sixty miles from Duluth on the line of the Great Northern railroad, and the steel trust is to dig a certain minimum amount each year, and 1t is to pay the Great Northern 80 cents a ton freightage to the docks at Duluth. The ore lies near the surface, and the principal mines at present are the Mahoning and Stevenson.
 The reported deal will give the steel trust a supply of ore for generation to come. The worlds consumption of ore is probably about 150,000,000 tons a year, for this years iron product will be 57,000,000 tons. Production of iron is steadily even rapidly, increas- ing, and some experts say the con sumption of ore at the end of the cen tury will be fully 500,000,000 tons a year. Where is it to come from? Un- less the center of the earth is good iron ore, an ore famine in this country seems to be assured. The known sur face deposits will be exhausted long before the century has run its course
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
THE POUNDING PRESS.

THE POUNDING PRESS. If you hear an awful racket coming rolling from the east And you think of all the hubbub it's the worst, Do not let yourself be worried, or your peaceful progress hurried It's the noise of many papers knocking Hearst
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

Candidate Hughes is now threatened with fool friends-with William Tray CTS Jerome, and Standpat Shaw of the treasury department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

Mobile has been the storm center of the clements and it is now deeply stirred by the heinous and nameless crime of young negro brute. Coy ernor Jelks has acted promptly in ordering troops on duty to prevent a lynching.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

TOO GOOD FOR OFFICE. If you are true In all you do
 And kindly to your brother, And take each day A pleasant way
 To help along another; And wear a smile That's free from guile
 And never are suspected, The world will praise Your noble ways,
 But you won't be elected.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

On account of his bristling whiskers Candidate Hughes expects every up- state Rube to do his duty at the polls.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

The Pennsylvania state capitol in- cluding it's justly celebrated bronze doors. has become live wire in that states campaign.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

Weather experts say there is no such thing as an equinoctial storm, and so our stormy weather will have to be blamed on something else.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

Secretary Shaw is determined to re- tain prosperity until after election if he has to dump the entire treasury into the banks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
PUPILS ARE FULL OF HOPE.

From the New York Herald.
 King of the Gazum wants American school teachers. Some little boys whel they learn that the King is canniba will encourage their preceptors to go.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

Pensacola is plucky. No mere wind can rob 1t of it's courage, enterprise and legitimate prospects.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

The Cubans are happy and contented under King Taft. Few would, how ever. like to be under him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

Secretary Taft is in the limelight without scarcely an intermission. He will probably attempt to carry the Cuban problem into the 1908 campaign.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

Count Boni has been reelected q member of the French chamber, and his divorce case continues to drag.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

MT. Root had pleasant time on his South American tour but not what one would call high old time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
From London Truth.


 @ HE late Canon Ainger, whether (0 you consider him as biograpn-
 er. A preacher or a man, was rather a commanding personality, whie his life was as uneventful as that of any country clergyman. The canon's friends no doubt-and he had a perfect genius Tor friendship-will enjoy his recently pub lished letters. Even the puns Tn the ie'- ters need, you feel, for their apt and adeouate setting the manner, voice and action of the canon. Here are two or three excellent specimens of this sort Of wit to which the canon was as much addicted as Lamb himself: "Ainger's made a canon," so 'tis said, Because so very well he read. "Ah, then," said Smith. demurely wink
 ing,
 He's cannoned off the read. I'm think
 ing"
 The chancellor had been less blamed If some great preacher he had named ..Ah. then" said Smith, not even blushin, He'd then have cannoned off the cush-
 ion"
 Apropos of punning, Ainger, In spite of being himself inveterate punsteri has said in a letter where he justities sal lies of this sort in Hood all that can be said against the habit:
 "To hear of any ordinary man that he makes puns is properly warning to avoid his society for with the funny man the verbal coincidence is everything. There is nothing underlying it or beyond it. The ordinary pun is for the most part pro- foundly depressing, being generally an im- pertinence, but In the hands of Hood the pun becomes an element in his fancy, his humor, his ethical teaching, even his pa thos. As ordinarily experienced. the pun Is the irreconcilable enemy of these things. It could not dwell with them in one house. Hood saw and was the first to show that the pun might become even their handmaid."
 The best pun In the volume. and. in it's kind, is not Hoods or Lambs or fingers but one of Archdeacon Burney's: 'The neatest thing I ever heard was said by Archdeacon Burney the other day at a meeting at Rochester. where a list of subscriptions was being read off MT. - f50. That's pretty good,' whispered Burney to his neighbor Archdeacon Cheetham, who knowing that the gver was exceedingly rich, murmured, It ought to have been G50o.' 'Ah, rejoined Burney instantly he forgot the ought!'
 wonder, by the way, if Archdeacon Burney had had in hs mind similar pun of Douglas Jerrold's. When the friend of a Micawber who was always being helped out of pecuniary difficulties called for the third time on Douglas Jer- rold to ask for another subscription, the wit inquired:
 well, how much does want this time?'
 "I think a four and two naughts will about put him straight
 You may put me down for one of the naughts."
 Here is a specimen of fingers impromp- tu epigrams. one on child being born to his friend Haweis simultaneously with the publication of his Music and Morals:"
 Little baby Haweis,
 Playing with your corals,
 Pa will mind your music
 Who will mind your morals? 'Ainger. who was a guest at the mar riage of Haweis to Miss Joy, bride as diminutive as her bridegroom, said "she evidently didn't wish to be "a Joy for ever" and described their union as "a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

Mince is not covered by the meat inspection bill, and whoever eats it does so at his own risk
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

traetively cemetery lots are advertised these days.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03
N UTUMN is made notable by V the number of heated pro-
 . tests against that arbitrary rul-

@ UTuMN is made notable by WV the number of heated pro- tests against that arbitrary rul- ing which decrees that all straw hats must be laid aside September 15. The man who dares iun counter to thi> unwritten law is subject to un- mentloaable indignities. He may count himself lucky if he escapes with vestige of his straw hat left on his head. Now what we need is a Protec- tective Straw Hat association which will see to it that every member who wears his straw hat after September 15 is safe in life and linn. Eventually, the association might become strong and effe ctive that a member could wear his straw hat until Christmas without any body daring to smile. It would be a sort of muck rake band on a new basis and the membership would no doubt be large. Just at present we lack a head not for hat, but for the association. Some one should volunteer to lead the fight against a senseless custom.
 A DAY IN TOWN. Woman did ashoppfhg go Twas a bargain day you know. Grim resolve was on her face, People wondered at her pace. Said she had some work to do- Stores to visit, not a few. Pushing, pulling pricing things, Madam shopped-the time had wings. Noon rolled round-she ate a bite, Yielding to her appetite. Then returned she to the fray Dor't forget. twas bargain day. Tho fatlsued enough to drop, She refused to rest or stop Till the shades of even fell, Then she quit, her duty well Done, as any one could see Who remarked her industry. Now, no doubt, you think that I Shall declare she didn't buy Anything save spools of thread, Stamps and hairpins for her head, But you're off your base-she bought So much stuff she hadn't ought'' To. have purchased that her spouse Rushed right out and took a souse In the liquor that men choose When they have case Of blues.
 Richmond is confronted with a colored girls union and a rise in the price of cooks is predicted.
 If Pittsburg Is in such need of labor she ought to put few of her able-bodied millonaires to work.
 Political straws show which way the campaign poodle goes.
 THE OLD STORY q love you.'' said a pensive swain.
 q love you, too' said she. It's just this way the things been done
 Ten billion times, b'gee.
 The high-minded man Is usually pret- ty low down in his purse.
 Some people prefer to pay for theirs. Others use the society column.
 It is getting so nowadays that every one-gallus farmer whiting on the steps of a crossroads store thinks he is in the grip of trust.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

Cuby is ours, although our flag is not there except in spots. Those spots are controlling, however.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

The President has had a long rest and Is in fine condition to face bunch of complex problems.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

Having recently become the father of his forty-third child Joseph F. Smith must look forward to Christmas with some apprehension.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-03

Freddie Gebharh is now bride groom of fort.-three. and he has no desire to look his age.