davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25
That Settles II.

Gee! is that the bonnet put up
my good mazuma for?"
Yes, dear; don't you like IT,"
Like ~ II looks like a mangled
cake basket"
Il know II does"
Then why In the world did you get
it,"
It's the style"
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25
Literal.

The new ONCE boy was found sit
ting In his chair with the telephone
transmitter in his lap,
what in the world are you do
ing?" asked the boss.
"A fellow called up a little while
ago" replied the future head of the
firm, "and told me to hold the phone
till he called again,"--Lippincott's.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25
osn. Mereler In Enaland.

bon. MERCER. who has Ned from
ris TO England. where he hasn't
bin enthusiastically received. once
delivered In tho French senate an
elaborate speech on the feasibility OF
invading England.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

Absence makes the husbands heart
grow fonder after the dishes arc all
dirty.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

He who does his level best seldom
finds It necessary TO do other people.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

II takes seeds TO raise flowers.
but some men can raise cain with
out half trying.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

Any fool can ask questions. but II
takes a wise man TO stop him.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

The older we get the more we real
lie the limits of our abilities. '...
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

No one knows what Is In him un.
I'll he gets down to hard work and
mines the claim.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

Mrs. winsiow's Soothing syrap.
vss ehildfen tsethins softsns the gums reduces IN
esmmAtio alsys palm, cures Wind ooliu, 40 bottle
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

When the average man does you q
favor he never lets you forget H.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

A man with a boil on his neck finds
no JOY In lS.story buildings.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25
The ThouahtfuI Husband.

MY dear" says the thoughtful hus-
band, entering the house with a huge
package In his arms. you remember
last week when you secured such 0
Sonderful bargain In shirts at cents
and neckties At three for quarter for
moi"
Yes. love-" says the fond wife.
Well. don't think ! didn't appreci
ate your thoughtfulness. See. have
bought something for you. noticed
some beautiful green and yellow plaid
goods In show window on my way
home, and bought you so yards OF II
at four cents a yard. The clerk said
II was n great bargain, and II will
make enough dresses to last you two
years, Why she has tainted"
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

Too many men who have not the
ability TO build dog house try their
hand at erecting palaces.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25
Thoughts in NY Den.

Nature abhors the old. who love her
most.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25
MISS RICKA LEOPOLD, 1877 Main
W. street, Menasha, Wis. Sec'y Lied

va street, Menasha, Wis, Sec'y Lied
erkranz, writes:
"Three years ago my system was in
terrible rundown condition and | was
broken out all over my body. began
70 be worried about my condition and
was glad to try anything which would
relieve me.
"Peruns was rccomnc nded TO me as
, fine blood remedy and tonic, aud
coon found that IL was worthy OF praise.
"a few bottles changed my condition
materially and in a short time was
all over my trouble.
81 owe TO Peruna my restoration TO
health ard strength. am glad TO en-.
dorse H.
Perfume Restores Strength.
Mrs. Hettie Green, r. r. 0, 1ulsa, ILL.,,
writes: ~ had catarrh and felt misera-
BILE. / began the use of Peruna and
began TO improve In every way. My
head does not hurt me so much, my
appetite is good and 1 am gaining in
Hesh and strength"
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

Some men who think they are reg.
ular devils are merely innocent lambs
with abnormal imaginations,
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

II In almost worth being away
from home to nnd. upon returning.
how much she has missed you.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

Some married couples are about as
lily mated as a dachshund and a grey
Homeland still they wonder why
they don't get on together,
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

The goose stands on one leg and
holds up the other-but for the life
OF me never could tell why.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

There Is no city so attractive 20
the traveller as the little home back
yonder." We see not alone with ou7
eyes, but with our heart ms well.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

end. 4
Sow only wholesome wheat in kernels
sound and strong
Pluck out the sitting growth-tse weeds
and tares OF wrong!
once ebbed sapphire sea by vagrsnt
breezes stirred,
Now stubbe brlstles drear where reapers'
blades have whirred-
What gleanest thou7 A harvest from a
laden field
Or shrunken grain? what Is the record
OF thy yield?
Thoughts in Ny Den.
Nature abhors the old, who love her
most.
A man with a boil on his neck finds
no JOY In lS.story buildings.
Any fool can ask questions. but II
takes a wise man to stop him.
The older we get the more we real
lie the limits Of our abilities. ',.
He who does his level best seldom
finds It necessary TO do other people.
Absence makes the husbands heart
grow fonder after the dishes arc all
dirty.
II takes seeds TO raise flowers,
but some men can raise cain with
out half trying.
No one knows what is In him un.
I'll he gets down to hard work and
mines the claim.
Too many men who have not the
ability TO build a dog house try their
hand at erecting palaces.
Some men who think they are reg
ular devils are merely innocent lambs
with abnormal imaginstions,
II In almost worth being away
from home TO hnd. upon returning.
how much she has missed you.
The goose stands on one leg and
holds up the other-but for the life
OF me ! never could tell why.
Some men abhor vice. but rent
their buildings To harlots, The love
OF money covers multitude Of sins.
Some married couples are about as
lily mated as a dachshund and grey
Homeland still they wonder why
they don't get on together
There is no city so attractive 20
the traveller as the little home back
yonder" We see not alone with OUT
eyes, but with our heart as well.
The bill collector always app1
sordid and grasping 10 the man
has Just returned from con
with nature on his summer
What shall | do with all
and hours that must be cOu
see thy face?" writes Kan
10 his inamorata, How wou
TO suck cider through n straw
filling a straight from the TOD
IL see thee In my dreams
heart. and yet cannot reacl
writes a Chicago man on h
ton 10 his best girl, I'll bet
low would hug a girl in "A
while a labor day parade waN
ing.
The ambitionless man Is frequen
happier than Is he Of restless am ~
ton. Progress is built by MIR
scourging themselves 10 great deeds
The contented man seldom builds
castles.
The revolution Is on In Russia.
Despite his wishes, the horoscope
suggests that Car Nicholas must
soon say with Richard n;
81 give this heavy weight from on NJ,
head
And this unwieldy soeptr" from my hand
The pride OF kngly sway from out my
heart"
Ss.,Ma4e4s
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

Some men abhor vice, but rent
their buildings To harlots, The love
OF money covers a multitude Of sins.
The Citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1903-1912, 1906-08-25

The bill collector always appZ
sordid and grasping 10 the man
has Just returned from con
with nature on his summer
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
PITHY COMMENTS
ON CURRENT TOPICS

General Uribe-Uribe has been ap-
pointed by Colombia as delegate 70
the Pan-American congress, whlch VIII
meet at Rio Janeiro in July. He Will
wear his hyphen, but will be deprived
Of his sidearrns. Washington Post.
1t is now fve weeks since Congress
man Charley Towne said he was going
back to Washington ito expose Theo-
dore Roosevelt" and the president is
still being admitted TO respectable So
ciety.-Ios Angeles Times.
Rojesvensky has asked to he per-
mitted to go into retirement IT would
be interesting to learn what he calls
the condition In which he has been
living since he met Togo.--Chicago
News.
Bourke Cochran objects to the state
nent that rogues and lunatics DRIFT
naturally into politics. The records
will show that some or them got In py
the draft rather than the drift-St.
Louis Globe Democrat.
The report that Henry James al
vavs weighs each word before writing
Il probably explains his style. He re-
iects all that would make his mean q
niain.-Rochester Democrat and Chronicle.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
A BEAUTY EXPERTS
IDEAS OF SPORTS

A London beauty expert has prepared
the following table. which shows the
probable effect of various outdoor pas
times on the appearance:
Boating--Burns or freckles the skin and
infames the eyes.
Bicycling -Enlarges feet and hands.
Cricket-Will ruin the prettiest figure.
Football--Causes awkwardness.
Gymnastlcs-Develop muscles 20 excess.
and Is detrimental TO a graceful carriage
Hockey-Ruins figures and complexion
Lawn tennis-The least harmful on
sports but may enlarge right shoulder
and hand.
Motoring -Coarsens the skin and red
dens the nose.
Sea swimming Ruins the hair.
OF course these dishgurements result
only when the games or sports mentioned
are too ardently played or followed, for,
as another specialist said. 81 would have
this motto put up in every girls boudoir:
Health is wealth, and an outdoor life
gives health
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15

The type which the United States will build
the Isthmus Panama been settled
IL is much in the air I'm the days decades when
the American discussing the question of build
ing canal at all
Since then they said emphaticaly they will
build the and they have provided the
for doing the work The actual work of construction
delayed because question has not been
settled for this hatng the through the ridcu
lous action, action OF it's committee inter-
oceanic waterways is largely responsible.
That committee has membership OF eleven, and 1t
held meeting Saturday last for the announced
OF deciding the question whether canal should
be built the level according lock design.
Ten members attended
Then IL that after months hearing and of
discussion almost nterminable committee divided
evenly TO g. Mr. Carmack who absent telegraphed
he desired his recorded level
plan, whereupon the five members supporting the lock
canal refused TO permit the recording of the vote of the
absent Mr.. Carmack and thus preoitated a deadlock.
What must be done to obtain decision that will
tion of type be finally determined by the toss of
penny?
a board OF expert consulting engineers brought
20 this country and later the canal a
majority voted a waterway, but that
decision did with the opinion OF the president
He favored canal OF the lock type. And the
ate committee ties itself up the very
positive action ls necessary.
There is but alternative should the committee
deadlock be speedily broken given
opportunity TO the canal type question That
alternative is that the president proceed with
work OF construction, under the spooner
build the waterway according the plan suits
HIM
Perhaps this may n contamination after
all. The thing Is build a canal That is
American people want and they will not quibble very
much to what the type is so long the dirt nes.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
BY HER PERFUMES
YOU MAY KNOW HER

Women's characteristics and weak
nesses are said to be betrayed by their
perfumes
According to an authority, n violet
scented atmosphere betokens n woman OF
lovable nature. Such woman is always
fond OF yiolets.
The dainty. neat woman has a prefer
ence for heliotrope. She dslikes fuss or
notoriety.
Imaginative, warm-hearted women use
rare perfume. They are apt to be extrav-
agant.
Lavender will probably be found in the
home OF the woman OF high aims, who
loves exactitude.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
HELPFUL POINTERS
FOR YOUR COMFORT

Eat salt with nuts TO aid digestion.
Rapid growth OF the finger nails is said
TO be an indication OF good health.
All medical authorities agree that meat
eating Is unwise for those who have n
tendency to rheumatism and that n fruit
and vegetable diet Is the only safeguard
against pain.
soft corn can be entirely cured by
keeping IL thoroughly dry with powdered
chalk covered with absorbent cotton.
Keep the cotton in place by means of
small strips of court plaster.
For freckles and liver spots: Eight
ounces OF pure strained honey, two ounces
OF glycerine. two ounces OF alcohol, six
drains of citric acid. Is drops OF essence
OF ambergris. Apply night and morning
An oil made OF three parts vaseline to
one part lanoline is good to prevent the
hair from falling out.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
SALVATION ARMY'S
WONDERFUL WORK

Has II, ,3SS workers among children
Comprises 7219 corps and societies.
Has 1885, officers wholly employed In
its service.
Maintains 1sO food depots and shelters
for men. women and children.
Publishes GA periodicals In "a languages
Accommodates over H.ooo people nighuy
In its institution for assisting the poor
Has II homes for former criminals, 10
homes for children and 1l6 Industrial
homes for women.
Has ls land colonies for visitation ana
assistance. OF the poor and "a laoor ou-
reaus for helping the unemployed.
Employment, temporary and permanent
was found last year for 1851.
Supplied 8,3909 meals at the cheap
food depots last year, and provided l'4ti'-
500 homeless people with lodgings.
Visited In the slums no fewer than H.
9oO families and nursed 1886 sick people
In 1904
In addition to a list of special depart
ments. it has 47s day schools In India, IL
homes for soldiers and sailors and 81
training homes for officers.
Work was commenced by the Rev. VIII
linn Booth in Whitechapel In 1863, ana
was then known as '"The Christian MIS-
sion" In 1878 the organization developed
into the Salvation Army.
Holds 5000 meetings every week, ana
the average number of weekly open air
meetings is 1900. The average attend
ance at the indoor meetings only every
week Is ], ,302. $50.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
WHY THE CARIBOU
EXCEL IN SWIMMING

Clad with coat of oily wool next ms
skin. the caribou is covered exterioriy
with a dense pelage of fine quilts. Every
caribou. indeed. wears cork Jacket, and
when this Is prime the creature seems
on the water rather than In the water
No other auadruped that know swims
as high as the caribou. Their speed ahoat
Is so great that X takes the best OF
canoemen TO overtake vigorous buck.
A good paddier Is supposed TO cover ABOUT
six miles an hour, so the caribou prob
ably goes Ave.
There arc many kinds of woodland and
rough country over which the caribous
cannot travel so fast as this. What won
der. then, that they are so ready TO take
to the water as soon as they find II In
their course.
Mr.. Mum assured me that several times
he saw a caribou swim a broad bay that
was I'm his line. though slight detection
would have given them easy walking
along the shore to the same point, and
with but little Increase OF distance
Scribner's Magazine.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
WITH NATURE.

The little sparkling mountain rill
Bubbling. cifattering, never still,
Gaily joins the laughing brook
Gliding past the pleasant nook,
Where the pussy willows weep.
Where the vioets wake from sleep.
When the call Of joyous spring
Makes the field and forest ring,
Then tinkling like silver bell,
IL ripples through the shady dell:
Where the whispering breeze IL playing,
Where the spreckled trout are staying.
on. IL frollcs full OF glee,
on, IL babbles lazily,
Murmurng It's drowsy song,
AS IL winds its way along
Till the little rivulet,
BY the noble rivers met
Flowing on increasingly,
Soon TO join the mighty sea.
Marion GUIDE, (age l2).
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
DUST SMOOT AT ONCE.

Three and more have passed since Reed Smoot,
apostle OF the Mormon church permitted
in the of the United States Since then
has voted on every occasion with the Republican ma
jority
Probably that fact explains why more than half the
term for which he elected has been permitted
without decision the question OF his fitness retain
his seat
During all these years senate committee has been
making investigation is according report.
ready 10 get rid of Smoot in Will
be delay when the matter before the
for action, and ii is by improbable that
will still be in his seat when his has expired by
Limitation.
However such delay Will be reprehensble, since Smoot
has been shown give allegiance
openly and dehantly hostile to this republic its
laws Smoot has dsgraced the long enough nd
should be ousted without further delay.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
WHERE THE SENIOR SENATOR STANDS.

Senator Nelson w. Aldrich is the father
in-law of the OF John ID. Rockefeller who is
the master mind of the Standard Oil company.
Mr.. Aldrch is the chairman of the senate com
nlittee on finance which has in charge and undoubt
edly at its mercy the bill removing the tax upon
denatured alcohol.
He is said to be "unfriendly and obstinate"
but that is altogether too soft phrase to apply
TO his opposition.
He positively does not want any such bill
Why?
Because the interests of Mr.. Aldrich, fnan-
cially and socially, are with the Standard Oil Com
pany and Mr.. Rockefeller first and all the time,
and neither wants the tax on alcohol removed.
Mr.. Aldrich's purpose is to protect the inter
ests OF the Oil trust, unquestionaby the most un-
popular in the United States, and to all appear
ances lie is perfectly willing to let his reputation
become the target for the censuring comments
Of all upright and honest citizens for the sake Of
serving interests that have grown rich and power
ful by crushing competition and milking the
people.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
HOMES-Y TRUTHS IN
TERSE SENTENCES

Loves sacrifices are life's most satisfy
ing Injuries
Heaven is not far from him who smiles
in cloudy weather.
1t will take men and women OF iron
will to bring in the golden age.
As soon as a man Is satisfied with him
self the angels begin to be sorry for
him
It's poor kind OF faith that never feels
its need of a father until 1t gets dark
It's the wabbly man who complains that
the platform is not broad enough foi
him.
The man who only sees with half an
eye always thinks the world is waiting
for his views.-Henry +. Cope in Chica-
go Tribune
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
1T WASN'T THAT
KIND OF A CAT

When Frank Stockton started out with
his Rudder Grange experience he under
took TO keep chickens. One old motherly
Plymouth Rock brought out brood late
In the fall and Stockton gave her n good
deal Of attention. lie named each Of tho
chicks after some literary friend. among
the rest Mary Mapes Dodge. Mrs. Dodge
was visiting the farm some time later,
and. happening TO think OF her namesake,
she said.
''By the way Frank. how ioes little
Mary Mapes Dodge get along?"
THE funny thing about little Mary
Mapes Dodge" said he,s "is she turns out
10 be Thomas Bailey Aldrich. EVERY
body's Magazine.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
HOW THEY SQUARE 1T
IN PHILADELPHIA

A new Idea among the mems social
clubs OF philadelphia is the selling oil
candles TO members.
Not ony is candy desired by the club
members. especially chocolate and the
various concoctions OF which II Is part
but II has been found an excellent thine
for the late sitter to take home 70 his
wife.
A little remembrance In the shape OF a
box of expensice confections has proved
10 be n great stopper OF questions and TO
lessen the severity OF the curtain lecture
which sometimes follows tardN nome
ebing
The total sales of candy In one or the
clubs amounted In the last year 10 5000
Philadelphia Record.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
BANKER DREXEL'S
IDEA OF WINNING

A traveller who has just returned from
Eurone met A. J. Drexel at Monte Carlo.
Mr. Droxel was entertaining crowd or
European nobility, including couple OF
Russian grand dukes. The traveller was
chatting with him in the casino one AFTER
noon.
81 had been trying my luck" said the
former. had lost on the red number OF
b-franc pieces and l talked rather ex-
citedly about the Monte Carlo tables one
thing led TO another Finally SAID
What would you do IL you saw man
cheating here?
"Mr Drexel smiled. DO he said Why,
back him, OF course
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
/" BILL" CHANDLER'S
TERSE DEFINITION

Ex-senator William Il. Chandler of New
Hampshire. who Is now at the head OF
the Spanish treaty claims COMMISSION
misses the opportunity he had in the sem
ate or discussing public questions and
writes frequently to the newspapers on
important topics:
'What are you doing now. Chandler
an old friend asked him the other day.
"oh." Chandler replied II am pub
licist."
"A publicist9 What Is a publicistT"
Chandler grinned.
"A publicist." he said, rs man WHO
attends TO everybody's business but his
own"
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
MARVELLOUS DEVICE FOR MEASUREMENT.

Consul Mahn writes from Nottingham that after 1--WE
u. H. Shaw, OF the University College
completed apparatus making IL possible
measure seventy -milonh part inch. and
which viii prove great scientists I'm
searches
invention consists OF fine mlcrometer
and a series levers being in conjunction IL
which be suspended by rubber bands from spe-
ciaily frame and nclosed In box
Is placed In vault under the university
surrounded with safeguard against friction
and vibration but then" Dir. Shaw. 1T
possible experiments TO be successful while
there Is trafhc in the streets
Every factory too, must be closed n it Is
distance away"
n draft Is said 60 be fatal to the successful
measurement such minute quantities seventy
miilionth part OF an inch.
also be kept from the vault and it Is said
buEzng ordinary ny has made % neces
spending TIL the has been dis
posed OF.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
JOLLY JILTING
IN THE JUNGLE

81 understand" said the Giraffe. who
was believed by the other animals TO
be something of a rubberneck, that
the big Gorilla has been Tilted by the
iady Ape he has been courting."
HShe seemed so fond Of him., too.
murmured the sentimental Gazelle.
wonder how she managed to detach her
affections from him. ~,
II don't know" interjected the Hye-
ma, with a fiendish laugh, but ! guess
she did IL with a monkey wrench
baltimore American.
Her Eloquent Money.
"I read somewhere the other day
that Nine. Patti had invested siooo
well. she can truthfully say now
that her money talks."-Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
How About the Hunting seasonf
Truth crushed to earth VIII rise
aeain--after the fishing season 10 over
Baltimore American.
Works Both Ways.
A man no sooner gets the Christmas
presents his wife gave him paid TOT
than he has to begin TO save up TOT
the one he is going to give her.--New
York Press.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
NOT IN HARMONY Y.

General Horace Porter will be the guest
OF honor at a dinner to be given by the
Montauk club at It's clubhouse In Brook
lyn next Saturday. But isn't the story ol
the hunt for John Paul Jones body rather
n gloomy subject for a dlnner?-Boston
Globe.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-05-15
APPETITE TEMPTERS
FOR YOU TOMORROW

BREAK KFAST-Cereal with Cream. Broil-
ed Ham with Poached Eggs Potato
Cakes Warmed Rolls. Coffee.
DINNER-Chicken soup. Mroton Of Beef,
Potatoes. Creamed Asparagus Tips,
Lemon Pudding. Coffee.
sUPPER-Creamed Salmon with Peas.
MIX Bread. Stewed Prunes, Small
Cakes, Tea.