Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1906-09-06


er, taking it for a pull, up.reared,
spreading his front feet in the air and
unseating his ponderous but unsteady
rider-whereupon came catastrophe,
and all the pride, pump and para
phernalia tumbled down ANONYMOUSLY
upon the street.-The an avalanche,
from tin cannery window-rattle-
de-bang with -clatter enough to
startle that famous army of pagans
frightened by Gideon and his lamp
whackers.
At first we could scarce imagine
what was happening, but the fash and
clatter of tinware told too plainly of
the collapse of Schmutke's armory.
He fell upon the street, and FORUM
ately was disengaged from the steed,
who, frightened by the superincum.
bent clatter, took to his heels and
pranced away 10 his livery stable and
oats. Will said afterwards that he
noticed broad grin on that horses
long underjaw as he turned the cor.
ner. 1t was enough to make a horse
laugh, but fearing something more
serious, we hurried to the rescue of
the fallen knight.
Fortunately he was more stunned
than hurt, being we'll cased in and
protected by the tin barrel around
him. AS we righted this up on
end, Will suggested that should 60
over to the grocery to borrow a can
opener but that was unnecessary the
fall had broken some of the joints or
articulations of the armor, 80 We sue
ceeded in peeling it off. Meanwhile
his brother knights, seeing that he
had due attention, obeyed his com.
mand and moved on remorselessly.
Seating him on the curb, we had the
boys bring some fresh water as res
torative. l remarked that there was
no blood or evidence of violent con-
fusion, to which Will replied consoling-
ly that "he would only bleed beer
anyway Possibly the fresh water
was a strange shock to Schmutke.
After while he walked up from his
stupor, and, looking vacently around,
asked
"Vare isht de armee?
"They were obliged to march on,
replied Will. 1.-THE gentleman in the
coffin would not wait. He was afraid
he might schpi5e, ] expect"
"Did it sthrike anybody else p
Will managed to keep his face
straight while he said, "Oh, no,
Schmutke, you got it all-no one else
hurt"
"Vat, and dey vent on witout mir?"
he asked.
"You ordered them forward with
that tremendous onslaught, and
never gave any command to halt.
Soldiers must obey orders, no matter
if the heavens tumble in.
"Vel, dey nigh" then he stopped,
as the full point of Wills military ex-
PLANTATION came along into his slow
wits by delayed freight. He looked
around vacantly, then tried to brace
up, perchance with some idea that he
might yet join the procession; but
when he sssayed to rise. his short,
stiff legs seemed to have lost their
cunning. He said
awful clap. wasn't it Yer ish
mine horse ?"
HE struck out for home like
good soldier. He is not hurt, cap
tured or lost, said Will.
Then Schmutke looked around upon
his brilliant but battered armor, now
piled up before him as that of Don
Quixote on the night of his famous
watch. He contemplated it with the
look of the knight of the Sorrowful
Figure. At last he remarked:
II don't tink much Of dem fellers,
to git out und leaf mir dis wayl"
Soldiers must obey, Schmutke,
said Will, sternly.
"You gave them orders, and must
not complain. Ipresume by this time
they are out at Waterloo, Whiskeyloo,
or Beerloo-something of the kind.
The last remark, reminding Schmut-
ke of the funeral festivities, in which
he would have been the commanding
figure, was teo much for him. Like
Napoleon vainly striving to advance
alone at his last battle. this mighty
sonnambulist of vanished drains" with
a feeling Of sorrow mingled with chop
fallen disgust, said bitterly:
"Vel. go help me, quits de whole
tam bisness."
Tbar --aa nofh;pn poora RI he ootd