The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

was YOU that was on the ticket. Well
] won't keep you from tellin ner any
door behind him.
III HUM0R or TIE Day
which side do you wish your hair
combed on2" asked the barber who ep-
st5a re p he sas'n With bis comb O
patch.
Yes. said Mr.. vane. Il admit I'm
somewhat conceited. It's bad fault
but it also indicates very bad taste. =
Philadelphia Press.
Jack-And after we are married, dar-
ling. the love lights viii still hnger in
EvaEYes, but the love lights WON'T stop
the gas bill from coming every month, my
dear.-Chieago News.
say, paw
4 Tonasn's tongue, my SON SMiiwau-
kee Sentinel.
Knicker-I think the world owes every
Bocser-Perhaps.- but he has to take II
out in trade.-N. Y Sun
yes. To be willing to get married If
could only get a wife who was economical
MY dear boy, no woman is ever econ
ical. She's either extravagan1 or stingy.
-Philadelphia Press.
The Briggs honeymoon Is eyer"
What makes you think so7
When they go out together on q rainy
day now, each carry their own umbrella
American Spectator
Towne-Luckey doesn't have to work
hard, that's certain.
Towne-Because he gets a large salary.
Philadelphia Press
CholIy-I love your sister. Johnny.
Johnny-This is SO sudden. Mr.. Softly.
but / can not be brother to you.-Sew
j.. Gents" said the trolley car. conductor.
form Yer breaking g the In r ruiz PACK pia'-
Some Of EN- sint piped up the little
Catholic Standard and Times.
Teacher.can any one tell me what
sohoiar--I know. teacher. It's a woman
who uses her hand instead Of a slipper
Prudent Aunt-You should not be In too
pig a hurry selecting a husband my dear.
today.
,Ethel-7Yes. but many a girl remains sin
men of tomorrow.-chicago News
Belle Gin Stock Exchange rallerv,-
What a hubbubl Why don't they sit
down and rest?
told me that a seat there costs thousands
OF doilars-Boston Transcript.
Yes. that steam yacht over there has
iost three owners within the past two
sr ,.Desr s,s dear Water Is very treaoh-
Water! t isn't water that kills EN-
rs the other stuff Cleveland Plain
a.. .. found him in very much broken spir-
.'Thep II bet they were brandy smash
Mrs; Naybor.- What IS your husbands
Mrs. subburbs-The seven-forty train
edy.--Thev. do be some talk av i'm
porthin chinese labor FIR to dig tn Pany-
DorganI- They do? Thin. begobs, I don't
blame til heathens FIR preparin' f'r war;
Telephone Girl-Double nine six nine f
Mrs. Isaziman Cat the other end of the
wirel-You must have made a mistake,
mat $ my husban's number and he's new
er been busy in his life.-Chicago Tribune.
=, Faith will move mountains" declared
tHe COL ln1lStlc citizen.
No doubt. responded the practical cit
zen, but VIII It prove equally efffcacioue
n excavating. isthmian canals7''-Phfla-
del9hia Bulletin.
Rodney-You weren't vexed that I told
erybody laughed moderately
sidney-Of couse. not; I told It myself
Just before you came in--Broolxiyn Life.
so. Uncle Jed has gonel Sad blow.
Yes. He ought to have known that the
way to put out the gas was to turn II
of-'-chicago Tribune
Smith Cwho has been abroad,-Tr vo,,ng
d HuggiIns ms stu paying attention to your
Jones-No; they are married now.-chi-
cago News.
Mr.. Sloman.' remarked the piano STOOL
~ Yes" replied .,p the parIor lamp. Il saw
turn me down. "-Philadelphia Ledger
MI; Wraggs-Kind gent, could yer help
Mr. Baggs-You don't need any help in
DID your husband ever bet on a win
"oh, yes answered young Mrs. Tor
kins, 'all the horses Charley bets on win
at some time or another. w ashington
He and she are both very wealthy. 40
eyer 5l says It's a bright matrimonial
"Ah. Yes, one Of the sort that light
only on the money-box. -Philadeiphis
Press.
Your son won q prize for oratory while
he was in college, I believe. What is ia :
doing noW?" ~
Hes got a job in the union depot an
the departure OF the trains''-
Chicago Record-Herald.