The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-11
HU11OR or TIE RAY


s. sssssSss ss.sss.=sssss=ss=z4
Some sigh for days they knew OF yore.
Old days with youthful pleasures bleut;
But I would love to spend once more
The good hard dollars have spent.
Houston Post.
Barnweu snorts-These are the times
that try mems souls
HoWler Rantz-Ye s, this walking is pref
~ hard on the shOes.-Chieago News.
Now. Willie, said the teacher, write
down the name of the author Of the
s'Fsainauel.'' wrote willie on the black
board-Boston Transcript.
Dinguss-It's good Of you. old man, to
lend money to me SC cheerfully.
Shadbolt-Is it, Dingus? Well. T always
bear IN mind that there's a blessing pro-
nounced upon the cheerful glver.-Chica-
go Tribune
suppose about now Prince Louis Of
Battenberg Is telling his royal relatives of
some Of the rich experiences in the United
, ne ogght, to be able to DO it with that
with him-Philadelphia Press.
Why do You call yourself we in your
editoriaIs?'' asked the admiring friend Of
the country editor.
THAT is so people who don't approve of
what I write about them will imagine
that there are too many Of US for them to
lick. "-Cleveland Leader.
yes. indeed. he had a splendid job with
the big insurance company
What were his duties2
Why, one year in four he had to see
that they added an extra day to Febru-
airy IN the insurance calendars. Wash
1ngton Star.
Little Clarence. who is the son of
railroad man. saw dachshund for the
7 don't see how that dog can go round
in a circle very long. without having a
rear-end collision. Life.
visitor-My poor man, what was the
cause of your downfaII2
Convict-Spring housekeeping boss.
Nisitor-What do you mean2
Convict-De folks in de last house I
heard me on de steps-Cleve1and Leader
Mr.. stoplate-That song always moves
Miss Tersleep-If I'd known that. I'd
have sung it an hour ago.-Cleveland
Leader.
What are your qualifications for an
wei. sir. I can do anything from MI
ing inkstands to attending directors
meetings. Life.
The American Tourist suppose
speak broken French. Ell, Henri?
The Waiter-Not eegsactly. NJ sielIr.
You hat a word describes it bettaire-Iet
me see-ah, yes-it is pulverized.-Puc
Passerpy-ls that your pork down there
Farmer-Porki What dye mean? There
is a pig O. mine out there.
PaSserby-Ah, but there's a motor car
just been by.-Punch.
What a fool expression it is to say
book
"Oh. don't know. Ever lose a pocket
book with nothing in it but a nlemoran-
dunn of things your wife wanted you to
bring home2'-Philadelph Ledger.
q fear shall not be able to attract
much attention" said the new congress-
man.
Don't worry answered Senator sor-
ghum, in this era of accusations and
inveStigat lions it is sometimes d luxury
not to be noticed. w Washington Star
.sweH,e said Jockey. concluding one of
his stories, Il haven't noticed you laugh
ing to any great extent
er AE VIM Ees sRgal aoT laT replied the British
why, man alive. that was a joke I
.sOh. come. now. say; how could it be
joke if it does not make one lawf2''-
Philadelphia Press.
Are you going to swear of this year,
'.Yes-taxes. Baltimore American.
They say that poets have to be born
That's what they say. But never
could understand why."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Jagsby-What shall I take to remove
the redness from my nose, doctor2
Doctor-Take nothing for three months.
Two dollars, please--Chieago News
Maid-Please. mum, the baby has gone
and turned the jug of cream all over me
best dress
Afistress-Never mind, Bridget; we can
use the condensed milk.-Judge.
Mistress tseverely)-How did this IRE
happen to go out?
New Girl CinnocentIy)-l guess you for
got to tell me to put coal on.-New York
Weekly.
LET me congratulate you on that piece
called the sMagpie's Nest " said the tall
gentleman who had been sitting IN the
rear of the hall. THE medley of tongues
IVES wonderful
THAT wasn't called tAEagpie's Nest
corrected the photograph professor. THE
record was taken at a sewing society
meeting in a small town. Chicago Daily
News.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.