The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-04-23

street with some
what indifferent success. In fact, he
tumbled into the Man. walked on his
shoes. recently shined. and jolted him
to such an extent that his new Easter
hat Costing $1.25) was toppled of,
and seriously soiled. though the Man
has since found that gasoline is a
wonderworker in removing stains.
2 The Man, always of forgiving ma
ture (thank YOU'D, gave the inebriate
reproachful glance and inquired where
and why he had taken on this inn
mense load of over-ripe fruit. some
times referred to as peaches" Been
ov'r cross tn river" he replied. "jush
cross ,.river-watchin' fer earth
quakes." and he laughed at his Joke"
found them all right" replied the
Man. that's certainty"
Now and then some lovelorn gallant
Is wont to take the Man into his con-
fidence and tell him of his troubles.
Not that the Man can do anything for
him. but he always has store of ad-
vice; for nearly any case. at his dis
posal and donates it freely for the good
OF humanity. Advice is such an easy
thing to give and newspaper men read
considerable; it's 80 easy to see how
naughty other people are and how
much better they could be that adj
vice just bubbles right out of the Man
whenever he is given an opportunity.
He has received considerable himself,
and may have needed some of it-but
that's Irrelevant, immaterial and not
the best evidence" to use a litt,e
Blackstone. At any event, it's an s.l-
tirely different story. Said certain
young chap to the Man the other
day, 1--WE been Ounce and block
head-a consuhlmate ass and lust
found 1t out mind you, just woke up
and If l could kick myself would do
it, The Man never kicks (other
mem or he would have volunteered
his services, SO he inquired the rea-
sons for his friends disgust with HIM
self.
well. you see, have been calling
on girl, and right pretty one, too,
for the past three months. am not
ashamed to say that love her and
let her know it. She sweetly in
formed me that had just as good l.
chance to win her as any fellow and
I was happy fellow. you may know.
All l ask Is a fair field and an even
start; If lose, all right.
well, things run along very nicely
until the other day dropped in un.
expected, and to my establishment
saw her admiring handsome engage
me4t ring on her finger. Whew! the
cold sweat started on my brow and
felt like fainting, but managed, in an
icy tone. to inquire the meaning OF
that ring and its being on that finger.
why, that's my engagement ring;
lust came today. Isn't it beauty?
You see, Harry could hardly afford to
get it last winter. such nice one. SO
waited"
Eyes, did tell you that you had
just as good chance as any fellow
to win me, of course, but I meant. be-
sides Harry. We were engaged at the
time. you see."
Our poor, lovelorn friend then went
on to tell Of her wanting to be ISIS
ter" to him, dear friends" etc., etc.;
same old story, but it did not appeal
to>him.
The Man could offer very little adj
vice, but suggested that it would be
wise to recall the adage, do not
count your chickens before they are
matched" -when you are in love, for
"AAAAAAu 40 AuCSAb JOoAdu AllSu says.
Replying to fearful communication
to the street story man from a neg
lected wife, which appears in another
column, the Man would suggest: Beat
him at his own game; some evening
when you are confident he expects to
remain at home, make an excuse for
a "few" minutes visit at the neigh
boris and don't come back until the
wee sma' hours. When he asks ques-
lions about your absence, and the rea-
son, laugh, act mysterious and set him
to guessing. Disappoint him. few
times in manner similar to the one
in which he has you land he will be-
come thoroughly "domesticated" in
time.
Ladies, it's all nonsense trying to
govern man by kindness and affec-
ton. He is selfish animal and a
little of his own medicine is the best
thing to convince him Nof it's bitter
ness. Have good time yourself;
dress in a charming manner, make
yourself popular, have some good gen.
tleman friends in the plot praise you
to him, call you Stunning looking"
and "how happy he must be-" etc.
You will have the refractory hubby
tumbling over himself to make good"
in his own family. The Man knows.