The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-18

Wurzburg. Germany. there 10 Inspect his
brown beer plants. | asked him II his
company adultcratcd their beer.
Tho Melancholy One.
German beer is never adulterated-not
even In America he added Seeing there
was nothing TO be gained in the heart OF
the enemies country. | bethought OF Jo-
mann, the melancholy walter ut Singing
Louis. Perhaps! After my luncheon
house, put the question plumply TO Jo-
mann His advice was practical. / must
stick TO one brewery, expose IL, and then
all the others would be exposed mat
ter or course. This sounded very Teu-
tonic. but ! knew what he meant to say.
and L soon saw the logic OF the PROPOSE
ton IA the afternoon wancd | grew
chummy with Johann ! had raised few
dollars by a process familiar TO financial
conters in Bohemia. and feeling rich. 1
spent my money freely for the sake OF
literature for the good cause,
Before closing up time had arrived Jo-
ham. I'm n burst OF confidence unusual TO
one OF his retlcent nature. informed me
that his brother-in-law was n foreman In
big uptown brewery viii not say now
whether cast or west side IL | cared TO
Inspect the working of the establishment
this foreman would help me in the oper-
alton. We discussed the question. 1t was
long after 1 o'clock. The best time TO
visit brewery Is. as every one knows
who Ia well posted. early In the morning
too late 10 go to bed, and. with my friend,
i went TO walters club, there to while
the hours away. Ii was an excellent
chance, too, for the study OF an uufa-
miiar phase of New York life. l met
some accomplished linguists and educated
men, who discussed the affairs of nations
and individuals with admirable gravity
and pcrspicacty. Not once did l hear
the edlous word Tip" mentioned. When
L b-oached my mission | encountered
doubling Stances. A little. round
paunched AlsatIan, head waiter. spoke
10 me most earnestly;
IT'S this way. sir. The mysteries OF
beer brewing on Manhattan Island Will
never be exposed. Your life would not be
ever went go far az to pronounce the
words 'sallcylic acid There Is a brew
ers' Iilu hluN Klan. organized In the In
tercsts OF the brewers, and when n jour
nallst shows symptoms OF telling the
truth about adulterated beer-gluoose
rice. potatoes, etco-he ie kidnapped and
taken to club where he is made mem
Der OF a German Mannerchor. After a
weeks immersion In music and liquids he
is tractable and Will drink anything that
looks like beer in glass" His voice
fell TO 4 whisper
Can such things be7" I shuddered. It
was now daylight. l had consumed SOW
ernl glasses of the abominable fluid
against the evils of which l proposed TO
illuminate later. But did not feel the ef-
fects. In company with the faithful Jo-
ham, and after bidding my polite com
panIons au reYor | boarded an uptown
car and promptly fell asleep Possibly the
emotions OF the last twenty-four hours
coupled with the loss OF sleep, had ia
tigued me I was awakened by = jog In
the ribs from Johann's elbow.
In the Brewery.
I'VE are at the brewery. Wake upH
Five minutes later l was introduced to
the brother-in-l law an enormous German
in cap. overalls and top boots He weighed
at least three hundred and looked good
tempered. Johann explained in his native
tongue my plan OF attack. and the fore
man listened attentlYely. Finally he said
in broken English:
That's all right. Johann I'll give the
beer trust away. You go home to bed"
Johann left us. tired but happy. He had
kept his word. The foreman bcckoned TO
"Komm NAL her, have q fresh brew
for you to sample. Fine, hey?' he said.
as l Smackcd my lips / nodded my head.
we began walking. my guide stopping
every five minutes To explain some detail.
Every tine we stopped we drank. | didn't
imagine there was so much beer In tho
wide woTld-and this was brewery with
q small capacity l thought of st Louis,
and my thirst grew apace. oh for the
throat of Gargantua TO swallow this
divine quintessence OF the hops! | men
toned this to the foreman. and he an
Swcred
You're all right" We crossed perilous
bridges, swinging over monster watts, In
vast chambers, about which coiled shin
Ing copper tubes serpcntwiSc1 In cellars
where the frost formed on our heated
breaths In cellars where the steamed air
drove the mercury above the hundred
mark; around retortS, In pits. through
galleries, on the roof In the office, up
stairs and downstairs we went. | on
weary legs, my guide stolid and content
ed And everywhere we drank out OF
glasses as big as baby bathtubs After
what seemed at least ten hours OF this
promenade through @ nightmare OF hops,
malt barrels bags workmen. machin-
cry boilers. fire, smoke. steam, strange
smells VapOrs-a beery phantasmagoria.
lndecd-I stopped
Whats de matter nit you?" I heard.
and the voice was miles away, | looked
sternly in it's direction
Show me the glucose-the glue-I mean
the-the sally-Sily, the silly-sally I'm our
alley acid. And the-the-what's the stuff
that produces cIrr-Sorosis society OF the
liver? CanniblS - cannibal - ndicus-
wIndycuss' - stopped. ] was alone. I
knew it The silence weighed tons. The
low arched walls were coming closer
closer.
| started "The Beer Trust" l cried.
Il have tapped the Beer Trust"
You've tapped It. sure was the reply
l had barely time TO note the fact that 1t
was the same sardonic. thick, greasy
voice when the walls fell asunder and
How refreshing my tea tasted when
woke In my attic after some twelve
hours refreshing sleep Yes, | had tapped
the Beer Trust. ] can demonstrate now
that beer before breakfast Is rank poison
And L have my story,