davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-17
A Large Connection.

A Chinese cook in one of the homes across the bay from San Francisco was terribly worried about his cousins who were in the burning town. Sing knew that Chinatown had been destroyed. He had tried to go across to rescue his relatives, but nobody was allowed to land.
 He went about his duties with lag ging footsteps and mournful face. For two days he ate nothing, and the sym pathy of the entire family was extend ed to him in his trouble. At last, he appeared one morning at breakfast time with face wreathed in smiles.
 "Me found cousins" he announced, joyfully.
 On being questioned, he said that they were lodged in the two rooms which he rented for his own use in the lower part of the town. They were all well and he was "velly happy" He took forty pounds of rice to them that they might not be hungry.
 But Sing, how many cousins have you? Forty pounds seems great deal"
 He smiled his charming Oriental smile and spread his hands: Me eighty cousins."
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-17
Didn't Know the Game.

Chauncey Olcott tells funny story. which happened some years ago when he was living at home with his par ents. He became imbued with the idea that he was quite sport, so ear ly one morning, as he softly turned the latch-key and stole into the paternal hall, he was surprised to find his fa- ther awaiting him. What is this 1 hearT' asked the father. sternly. T am told you are playing poker"
 "Why, father, I haven't the least idea of how to play the game"
 T know that" replied the reverend gentleman, grimly. At least, so am told by one of the fellows who was playing with you"
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-17
Politeness Pays.

Virtue is not to be measured by o. tentatlous giving. There Is frequently more real love for humanity In the soul of the man who removes the banana skin from the pavement than in the heart of the donor of the me- morial. window In the church. Polite ness, like all other faults and virtues, may become hab!tual. It Is surprising how many small acts of kindness. how many little deeds of helpfulness, one may do In the course of day when there are inclination to be kind and a lookout kept for the opportunity One may set out with this intention In the morning, and the footing up at night not to others, but to ones own secret conscience-will be cheering and en- couraglng. AD% :.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-17
Ts Keep Cabbage.

An excellent way to keep cabbages is to put them close together, roots in the ground, and cover them, 90 as to pro- tect against rain, first placing salt. hay or straw over the heads. By this plan the cabbages will keep until late in the spring, as the stalks will take root and throw out sprouts or greens after the heads are gone. By burying the heads with the roots up, the frost pre- vents their use, and when the frost leaves them the ground Is dump and the heads rot It will be found of ad- vantage to store cabbage with the roots in the ground, as stated, If for no other purpose than to secure the early greens. f Y 70 ~
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-17
Have You Noticed2

q think Dick and Katharine will soon be married"
 ''Why, dear?" ... .r,
 Well, passed by the old porch last night and I heard her calling him pet names." n'
 Gracious! And was she calling him 'ducky' and dearest and angel faceT" r.
 "Well, I should say not. She was calling him dunce,' goose and stu. pld.'" '~
 You don't mean It."
 "I do, and that Is always a sure sign a girl Is in love with a man."
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-17
THE ONLY "ooBsLER."
Sultan of Turkey Manages to Have
 His Way Most of the Time.

Sultan of Turkey Manages to Have
 His Way Most of the Time.
 Being about the only 'gobbler" In the flock is the part played by the Turkish ruler in his. harem- happy realm, for history must concede to Abdul Hamid II. place In the front rank of modern sovereigns so far as concerns astute- ness, sheer craft and skill in manipu- lating diplomatic affairs and having things in general pretty much all his own way. He has played one European power against another time and time again, ever retaining that which he played for It Is true that he has been compelled to institute some reform, but at no time has Europe been able to force his hand so that he has lost any material ground or been obliged to sacrifice anything which has shorn him of real power. He has fought a Gre clan war and massacred his Armenian subjects at will without European in- tervention, and made himself Sultan in truth, the real head of his people by almost utter suppression of the old sys- tenn of pashas. vaE
 In the years that have gone by---in fact, for about four centurles-the Turkish pasha, who rose to the rank of vlzier and became member of the cabinet which surrounded the ruler, was type of able man. The pashas may have been cruel and perfidlOus, devoid of principle and given to every vice of the east, but they were neither fools nor towards, and they constituted group that dominated the nation. Since the advent of Abdul Hamld, by exile, assassination and mysterious disappearance, the pasha of the old days has been swept out of the councils of the empire and only those left who are subservient to the Sultan.
 AS to the future of Turkey, no man can predict. For century the end of Mohammedanism as power In Europe has been predicted; yet. Turkey to-day apparently Is as strong as ever. with no sign of its extinction or partition of its European territory. Possibly the man who succeeds Abdul Hamid may be as successful as he in preserving the empire; but 1t seems more probable that some one European power may gain a predominating, interest, and in that case there will again arise for Flu rope the old question which a few years ago became lost in the acute struggle in the far east.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-17
CLOVER AND STONE WALLS.
They Cannot Exist Together on the
 Same Farm.

"This new style of book farming" said Wildcat Perkins, of Prospect Ferry, Me-, lis ruining some of the best stone walls that were ever laid in Waldo County.
 You wouldn't think there was any kind of natural connection between double stone walls and clover, would you? But am prepared to prove that there is, and that no man can raise clover hay on his farm for three years in succession without having his stone walls tumble down and scatter them selves all over the fields, so it would take ten men month to rebuild mile of the old fencing.
 Ut all comes from what they call a connecting link, and the connecting link in this case is the woodchuck. "As soon as a woodchuck sees clover growing right up close to a stone wall, he doesn't have to go and ask the neighbors if 1t Is q favorable locality for woodchuck to start in business. He goes to eating clover and making his nest in the interior of the stone wall, and all is lovely until some cur dog comes along and smells the wood- chuck in the wall, and begins to talk about it in dog language so all the neighborhood can hear.
 ''Of course, the boy who owns the dog and the boy friends of the boy who owns the dog, and the dogs belonging to the boy friends of the boy who owns the dog, go to see what the trouble Is, and in doing so discover the wOOd- chuck in the wall, and proceed to pull the wall down and scatter the stones all over the farm, so as to get at the woodchuck and kill 1t. And having seen the dogs fight with the wood chuck until 1t was dead, the boys and | the dogs have no more use for the stone wall, and leave 1t splayed out upon the ground, as if the building of stone walls did not cost money and time and backache.
 And so I say" continued Wildcat Perkins, that no Maine farmer can live as he should If he attempts to grow clover alongside of a double stone wall. Nobody has ever been able to change dog nature or boy nature, and nobody can ever hope to kill of the wood | chucks.
 Then 1t is plain enough to every body that the clover or the stone walls must go, and, considering how much longer the stone walls have been here, it is my opinion that it is up to the clover to make the first move"
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-17
Far-Reaching Echo.

The Of1cer-You say the chauffeur sounded his horn just as the mach:ae struck the man? .u The Witness-Yes, sir. Egw fe2 ! t The Onicer--Was the victim killed instantly? ',,y ,s.. ..,...t.s
 The Witness-So Instantly. sir, that he must have heard the echo of that horn In the next world
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-17
Naming, tho Cherub.

The young mother leaned fondly over the cradle containing her first born. "Clarence,' she said, "let's name her Narigold."
 'No, dear," answered the young hus- band and father. Ii, ,rWe,ought not to make her manifest destiny quite so obvious. Let's call her Hope"
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-17
IS CHEWING GUM BENEFICIAL,
French Scientist Declares It Helps
 Process of Digestion.


 A French scientist, Dr. Leon Meu- nier, writing in Les Annales on the habit of gum chewing, says: "A man must thoroughly masticate his food if he aspires to digest we'll Mastication is very important physical function. Three successive digestiOns are indis- pensable. The first takes place in the mouth; influenced by the fernent of saliva, we begin to digest amalaceous substances, an operation which is con tinued in the stomach. When people who have hyperchlohydria the salivary digestion is seriously affected, and the more so when nothing is done to take up the elements of saliva" Dr. Meu- nier signals the utility of exciting the flow of saliva in hyperchlorhydria and of artificially producing secretion of salivary ferment.
 He says: During trip that l made to the Unted States in 1904 l was struck by an empirical treatment which has been employed by Americans many years to facilitate stomachic digestion. In all the cities of the United States and Canada I saw large numbers Of people chewing substance to take the place of the vulgar 'quid' of tobacco. That substance is sold everywhere un- der the name of chewing gum or pep sin gum I analysed that gum and found that there was not trace of pepsin in it. In all cases the gum was an insoluble aromatized resin. The gum chewers are 'legion'-one man of every two and one woman of every three will tell you that he or she de- flyers himself or herself so ardently and with such docile persistence to that exercise after every meal in order to facilitate digestion"
 Being anxious to know whether or not the practice of gum chewing Is use full. Dr. Meunier prepared test gum made of favored completely insoluble resln-tO see if by reason of its agree able character 1t could be utilized to engender digestive saliva devoid of any dlC the results of his experiments When the patient had not chewed the gum half an hour after the beginning of a repast (that Is to say, when the amy latic phase is nearly over), from five to thirty grams of sugary matter was found. Under the same conditions, when the subject had chewed gum, from six to thirty eight grams of sOlu- ble amylaceous matter was found. which proves that the starch digested, estimated either In dextrine or in amy laceous soluble matter, is superior when the disester 'hae chewed gum. Gener, ally speaking, saliva dilutes the food in the stomach and the digestion of amylaceOus matter gains 90 per cent by the action of the gum. So we may con clude that gum juice judiciOusly chew ed empirically exercises real thera- peutlc action on the stOmachic diges- tion. "The Americans are right; when the salivary function is weak, let us chew"
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-17
His Definition

Papa, what Is work of artT'r
 'oh, almost anything In the9'way of Il picture or piece of statuary without. clothing Post.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-17
Extra Precautions, :,

Hostess (of swell party Henry, who are all those strange men? .ra-5ea
 Host-Half of them are detectives, my dear. The others are reporters. They are watching the detectives.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08
"The Blood is The Life.o

Science has never gone beyond the
above simple statement OF scripture But
1t mas Illuminated that statement and
given II meaning ever broadening with
the Increasing breadth of knowledge
hen the blood is "bad " or impure it
is not alone the body which suffers
through disease The brain is also
clouded, the mind and judgement are
euected, and many an evil deed or impure
thought may be directly traced to the
lmpurity OF the blood. Foul, impure I'd
can be made pure by the use of DR..
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery. 1t
enrichcs and purilies the blood thereby
curing, pimples, blotches, eruptions and
other cutaneous affections, as eczema,
tetter, or salt-rheum, hives and other
manifestations Of impure blood.
% o o o o
In the cure of scrofulous swellings, en-
larged glands, open eating ulcers, or old
sores, the Golden Medical Discovery rhas
performed the most marvellous cures. In
cases of old sores, or open eating ulcers,
it is well to apply to the open sores DR..
Pierce's All-lIealing Salve, which pos
sesses wonderful healing potency when
used as an application to the sores in con-
Junction with the use of Golden Medical
Discovery as blood cleansing consti-
tutional treatment. If your druggist
don't happen to have the "Al-Healing
Salve" " in stock, you can easily procure it
by inclosing tifty-four cents in postage
stamps to DIR. R. V. Pierce, 663 Main ST.,
Buffalo, N. Y, and it will come to you by
return post. Most druggists keep it as
well as the Golden Medical Discovery
o o o o o o
You can't afford to accept any medicine
of ltnl'nolon composition as a substitute
for "Golden'Medical Discovery" which is
q medicine OF KNOWN COMPOSITION.
having complete list of ingredients in
plain English on its bottle-wrapper, the
same being attested as correct under oath,
DIR. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate
and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

A New York balloonist dropped
several bags of sand in Wall street the
other day where other highty fellows
usually drop their dust.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

1t is said that when cows wade
drink the carp milk them dry. Per-
haps the carp are unjustly accused,
The fish are probably suckers.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

A Boston woman saws it is wrong TO
use a watch on boy after he is ii.
After that age full grown club
might be more effective.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

A Chicago professor says woman
ruled man in the long ago. And if
history is correct, she also followed
him.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

Spellbinders shortly, we presume,
The air will be a-fannin
To speed the echoes of the boom
OF lllinoy's big Cannon.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

A Pennsylvania county boasts of the
discovery of "a winged snake which
flies in the air and swims in the
river Its discoverers must have been
testing the merits of denatured alcohol
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

Maxim Gorky says he will pay no
more attention to America. Will pay
us back in our own coin, as it were.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

The dollar should not be placed
above the man, says Col. Bryan
At least not ont of his reach, colonel
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

Washington paper says Mr.. Bryan
is shorn of everything bnt his sunny
smile, hut this cannot he true. We
learn from a reliable London paper
that he is wearing high silk hat
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

The new "Plainview waist is per
haps but the peekaboo with the net
work removed
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

In these days when the summer heat
Is dancing on the pavement stones,
How would you like to shed your meat
And loll round in your bonesH
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

A Chicago professor contends that
man was created after woman. He
might have truthfully added that he
has been after her ever since.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

The Boston school authorities have
forbidden the Boston school marms to
get married, thus furnishing them with
an excuse they have long wished for
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

Do Americans go to Europe to get
away from business' asks the New
York Herald. Some do. Others 90
to get away from subpoena servers.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08
JINCLES AND JESTS
STAND UP, JUNE BRIDES
NIGHT
1905 sY
LEE HAN Cr

o bride of June bride of June,
AS the golden honeymoon,
PRAY tell us, do you find your lot
With daily dreams of blisses fraught2
Is Jack Tom or Will or Jim
All that your fancy painted him2
Is he the demgod that You
Believed him when he came to WOO
And tell you fairy stories while
He held you close in brain style2
Or have you found by actual test
He's just man like all the
Who smokes, and may hap drinks bit
And swears when in angry ft2
Who lips yonl biscuits gingerly
And asks if that's what you call tea
And tells you tbs fuel
To burn chops till unfit for
who turns his back to you
When he the boon of sleep would WOO,
And mayhap snoresl o. horrid thought
Till you bewa your sleepless lot
And that to receive your
You'd like to putty up his
bride of June, bride of June
Is loves sweet Tyre yet in tuner
Are you content with welded life2
Are you really happy wife2
Or would it give you joy supreme
To wake and find il all IA lreainr
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

1t is said that Mr.. Fairbanks smiled
when told Of the touching off of the
Cannon boom. A smile on the Fair
banks face must resemble a stray sun
beam dancing on Il cake of artificial
ice.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

1t looks like jabbing the muclrake
into a too sacred nook fol the Leaven.
worth Post to ask: Does a minister
in his private study cuss the flies 2
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

An Oklahoma girl jerked her head
back suddenly to keep from being
kissed and dislocated her neck AT
such critical times, dear girls, it is
always safer to stand and take your
medicine
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

Secretary Taft has decided that ht
does not want seat on the supreme
bench. He no doubt thinks if the
side arms were knocked off he coult
rest more comfortably in the presi
Dental chair
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

( drink the carp milk them dry. Per-
haps the carp are nnjustly accused
The fish are probably suckers
/ A Washington paper says Mr.. Bryan
is shorn of everything bnt his sunny
smile. hut this cannot be true We
learn from reliable London paper
that he is wearing high silk hat.
A Pennsylvania county boasts of the
discovery of "a winged snake which
flies i'll the air and swims in the
river. Its discuverers must have been
testing the merits of denatured alcohol. |
The Boston school authorities have
forbidden the Boston school marms to
get married, thus furnishing them with
an excuse they have long wished for
1t is said that Mr.. Fairbanks smiled
when told Of the touching off of the
Cannon boom. A smile on the Fair
hanks face must resemble stray sun
beam dancing on Il cake of artificial
ice.
An Oklahoma girl jerked her head
back suddenly to keep from being
kissed and dislocated her neck AT
such critical times, dear girls, it is
always safer to stand and take your
medicine.
Uncle Joe Cannon honestly believes
that he may yet hang his home spun
trousers on the back of Il chair and toss
his cowhide boots under the bed in the
executive slumber room of the House
of White.
Secretary Taft has decided that he
does not want a seat on the supreme
bench. He no doubt thinks if the
side arms were knocked off he could
rest more comfortably in the presi
Dental chair.
the census bureau announces that
in collecting divorce statistics all
secrets VIII he scarcely guarded. As
the collectors are all women, it is
hard to understand how the promise
can be carried out.
A Kansas editor can't for the life
of him understand why it is that when
bug gets on Il fellow neck it wants
to so down, and when it gets on his
ankle it wants to go up. Can some
gifted bugulogician enlighten himt
Kansas farmers are using gasoline
engines for driving electric motors to
furnish their homes with electric
light. The next move of these pro
gressive wheatocrats may be the in
stallation of storage batteries for driv-
ing electric fans on their plows.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

Uncle Joe Cannon honestly believes
that he may yet hang his home spun
trousers on the back of chair and toss
his cowhide boots under the bed in the
executive slumber room of the House
of White.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

The new "Plainview" waist is per.
haps but the peekaboo with the net
work removed.
The dollar should not be placed
above the man. says Col. Bryan.
At least not ont of his reach, colonel.
Maxim Gorky says he will pay nc
more attention to America. Will pay
us back in our own coin, as it were.
A Chicago professor says woman
ruled man in the long ago. And if
history is correct, she also followed
him.
A New York balloonist dropped
several bags of sand in Wall street the
other day where other flighty fellows
usually drop their dust.
A Boston woman saws il is wrong to
use a watch on boy after he is H..
After that age full grown club
might be more effective.
Spellbinders shortly, we presume,
The air will be a -fannin'
To speed the echoes of the boom
OF Illinoy's big Cannon.
A Chicago professor contends that
man was created after woman. He
might have truthfully added that he
has been after her ever since.
In these days when the summer heat
Is dancing on the pavement stones,
How would you like to shed your meat
And loll round in your bonesY
Do Americans go to Europe to get
away from business' asks the New
York Herald. Some do. Others 90
to get away from subpoena servers.
1t looks like jabbing the muckrake
worth Post to ask Does a minister
in his private study cuss the flies ;
The Omaha Socialists have named a
butcher for county attorney, and think
he should be qualified by his calling
to hang the hides of all opponents on
the fence.
Thirty Kentucky bellies who are
doing" Europe ran out of chewing
gum in Paris, and, ye grinding godsl
how they did chew the rag over the
misfortune
Valparaiso, Ind. has asked campers
to please cease batning in her drink
ing water supply. The citizens do
not seem to relish the taste of miscel-
laneous strangers.
General Miles says there will be a
general war when the Panama canal
is completed, put do not worry, dear
reader. You and 1 will not be here
to witness its horrors.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

The Omaha Socialists have named a
butcher for county attorney, and think
he should be qualified by his calling
to hang the hides of all opponents on
the fence.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

Kansas farmers are using gasoline
engines for driving electric motors to
furnish their homes with electric
light. The next move of these pro
gressive wheatocrats may be the in.
stallation of storage batteries for driv-
ing electric fans on their plows.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

the census bureau announces tina
in collecting divorce statistics al
secrets will be scarcely guarded. Al
the collectors are all women, it il
hard to understa how the promis
can be carried out.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

Thirty Kentucky bellies who are
doing" Europe ran ont of chewing
gum in Paris. and, ye grinding godsl
how they did chew the rag over the
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

A Kansas editor can't for the life
of him understand why it is that when
a bug gets on fellows neck it wants
to so down, and when it gets on his
ankle it wants to go up. Can some
gifted bugulogician enlighten himt
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

Valparaiso, Ind, has asked campers
to please cease batning in her drink
ing water supply. The citizens dc
not seem to relish the taste of miscel-
laneous strangers.
The Glenwood post., 1906-09-08

General Miles says there will be a
general war when the Panama canal
is completed, put do not worry, dear
reader. You and l will not be here
to witness it's horrors.