Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1906-06-15
MS'@ss<hS,HES
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S-oD,VUO. Anu the worst OF IL Is tnat
nearly $lOO Of that was my own mon
ey !-Life.
Uncle-IIow do you like your employ
err? TOMMY think he's bigoted. I'm
clc-ln what way? Tommy-Well, he
thinks dat words ouShtcr be spelt his
way all de time.
Molly-lIe is a student at one OF
the big colleges. polly-NOnsenSe. He
talked with us for an hour when he
was here yesterday and never used a
bit of slang Somcrville Journal
This flower is strictly up-to-date,"
said the florist. What do you mean
by that" asked the prospective Gus
me Why" he explained, lit vas
obtained by grafting."-Detroit Free
Press.
is she pretty:" they asked of the
young man who n speaking of his
iiancee. well, | don't want to boast
he replied. but size always gets n seat
in Il crowded street car.'-Stray
Stories.
II the sweet girl graduate of last
June hasn't got Il school or an engage
mcnt ring yet, it is high time for her
to study shorthand and hustle around
to get Il job ut OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
vile Journal.
Ferdy-Really, Patrick, I'd rather
ride Staggers than take Il spin in the
touring car. The Groom-Sure, It's
strange we fale that way, sor, consider
-. .1.4 .,xn. /, N,-n1y n xx-p I, -hTsSs
power hoss.-Puck.
He claims that he built the first
passenger elevators used in this coun-
try" "Nonsense! The Mississippi
steamboats, were running and blowing
UP regularly long before he was born"
philadelphia Press.
mo, my little girl. l can't lend your
mother any -four or oil or butter or
fatirons or lamps or potatoes or any
thing else that she sent you over Tor,
but go back and tell her l have a lot
OF trouble she can Observation-Disclosures
American. -
Mother-Come now. Viii, if you'll
only be good I'll give you a penny.
Willie-No'm :. 1 won't be good for
less'n five cents. Mother-Why, you
were good yesterday for Il penny. VII.
lie-I know, but yesterday was bargain
day.-Philade!phia Press.
First Girl-What are you waiting
for? Why DOM you finish your letter
to Ella? Second Girl don't know
whether to say Ever yours, with truest
love" or simply "Yours afectionately.'
You see, I can't endure Ella-I think
she's detestable!L Tit-Bits
"See here!" snapped the landlord,
who had responded to the tenants hur-
ry call for n plumber, Il thought you
said the water in your cellar was two
feet deep. ''It's only a few inches"
wei, that's rs deep as my two feet, :
retorted the tenant, "and that's too
much" g...'
Clara-Did the papers notice your
father ut the great banquet? johnny
Yes. Clara-Well, mamma said she
could not see his name on the list.
Johnny-No; but the list ends up with
land others" That means papa. They
always mention him that way.-lllus-
trated Bits. H
Magistrate and NJ. P.-After mature
and careful consideration Of your case,
Ihave come to the conclusion that you
are q lazy. good-for-nothing rogue. May
ask If you ever earned a shilling In
your life? Prisoner-Oh, yes. l have,
yer 'onor. l voted fer yer 'onor once.
The Sketch.
Tom-Look at that crowd of women
trying to get in that department store.
Dick-Yes, it's a regular crush. Tom
But it's so early. Why, the doors
aren't open yet. Dick-Yes, they're the
women who followed the line Of advice
in the advertisement: "Come early and
avoid the rush."-Catholic Standard
and Times.
The desperate man, weary of life,
opened an upper window in the Sky
scraper and threw himself out. He
landed on top of a load Of mattresses
with which q teamster happened to be
driving along at the moment. Hang
the luck !" he exclaimed, as he rose to
him feet, shook himself, n found that
he was practically uninjured. Il might
have known this would be the result
of jumping from the thirteenth floor"
Mrs. Jenner Lee Ondego had just re-
turned from her summer vacation.
INV goodness she exclaimed, as she
inspected the alterations that had been
made in the house during her absence.
This isn't the kind Of wall paper 1
wanted. 1t won't harmonic with my
complexion at ull!' Well irritably
answered her husband, you can change
your complexion a good deal easier
than we can repaper the whole house."
Chicago Tribune.
4. clergyman who had accepted an in
citation TO ofIi( late at Sunday services
in a n%eighboring OWL entrusted his
new curate with the performance of his
own duties. On returning home he
asked his wife what she thought Of the
,;,rate's sermon. 1T was the poorest
one | ever heard" she replied, prompt
lv-snothing in it at ALL" Later in the
day the clergyman, meeting his curate,
asked him how he had got on. "Oh,
very we'll" was the reply. Il didn't
have time TO prepare anything. so I
preached one of your unused sermons.r
Episcopal Appreciation.
Bishop Meade Of Virginia was op-