Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1906-11-20
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Wigg-Bjones was after a political
JOB for g long time. What's he doing
now? Wagg-Nothing. He got it
Philadelphia Record.
Your son is studying art, believe.
has ne made much progress" "Oh.
yes. He is able to talk the language
quite luently."-Judge.
She-Did you notice the beautiful
palms in the new restaurant? He
The only palms l saw were the waib
ers'.-Boston Transcript.
DO you think it pays country people
to take in city boarders?" Certainly,
as long as the boarders don't find II
out. Baltimore American.
Country Minister-My parishioners
gave me donotion party last week.
Sympathetic Friend-IIow much did
you lose Somerville Journal.
Visitor-Are there any fish In the
river Native-Fish! | should rather
think there was. Why, the waters sim
ply saturated with 'em Punch
Employer-What. then. are your de-
mands? Committee of Union-We want
more money and shorter hours SOS we
can have time to spend it.-Puck.
Kind Lady-How many servants does
your mother keep, dear? Small Girl
She doesn't keep any; they're always
coming and golng.-Boston Transcript
Lady-Did the natives like the per-
fumed soap l sent them Returned
Missionary-No, madam. they bit 1t,
and threw it away.-Detroit Free
Press
Church-What do you think of your
wife's voice since she took music les
sons Gotham-It's no better; but
there seems to be more of it.-Yonkers
Statesman.
"Who were the chief benehciarles un.
der your uncle's will?" The automo-
bile manufacturers Each egatee
bought two as soon as they got their
money. Judge.
Mother Ito Tommy, who has just
said his prayers Tommy, you forgot
TO ask the Lord to take care of your
baby sister. Tommy-No. | didn't, ma.
I'll take care of her myself.--Life.
An old lady on the witness stand at
Bellinzona, Switzerland, gave her age
as 102. But it was asccrtained on
cross-examination, that she was 100.
She explained that she was ashamed
of being SO old"
"A great many people do things they
are sorry for" Yes" answered Miss
Cayenne. The trouble is that they
often fail to realize that they are sorry
till they get into the newspapers. y
Washington Star
And best of ALL" said the boastful
American, 1--WE have no titled arlsto-
crazy to support over here" No." re-
piled the foreigner, but you have
good many titled sons-in-law to sup
port over here. Judge.
do you believe that Samson lost his
strength by having his hair cut?" ask
ed the non-believer., Il have no reason
to doubt it." replied the practical man.
"a laxative barber always makes me
tired. Chicago Daily News
Mr.. verycareful Ito his new MANI
William, do you smoke? William with
large expectations of a perfecto) Yes,
Mr.. verycareful--Well here is box
Of safety matches. | allow no other
sort on the premises.-Judge.
"Does your chauffeur have any per-
quisites?" asked Mrs. Van Uppson. HE
had one the first week he was with u.s."
replied Mrs. Neurich, but | induced
him to sign the pledge, and he hasn't
had any since."-Chicago Daily News.
"Alasp' confessed the penitent man,
ain a moment OF weakness | stole car
load of brass fittings" In a moment
of weakness?" exclaimed the judge.
Goodness, man! what would you have
taken if you had yielded in a moment
when you felt strong?"-Judge.
Dumley-I met a fellow to-day who
was simply nutty about a buried treas
ure; couldn't talk Of anything else.
Peckham-That reminds me of my
wife. Dumley-Oh. does she talk about
one? Peckham-Yes; her first husband.
I'm her second, you know.-Philadel-
phla Ledger.
mo, Tommy" said his mother, you
can't have any more cake. You've had
enough" what a fine little fellow
no &c F." renlipd the Cllest: "anu when
you're a man, Tommy, what are you go
ing to doT I'm gon' ter buy too
much of everything | like to eat" re-
piled Tommy. sulkily.-Philadelp