The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1906-07-05
BY THE Way

before the date of opening. Those
Cleveland people always we've an i'm
patient lot
The beef trust folks are no doubt be-
ginning to wonder how often this ad-
immunity bath.
A correspondent -of' the N. Y. Her-
aid want to know hat makes preach
er tired that he must take vacation.
Perhaps it is the couples he married
during the year.
With the president threatening to
publish the Neill Reynolds report, il
the beef trust opposes the inspection
provision, and the beef trust threaten.
ing to fight inspection il the report Is
published the country is liable to rise
up and yell "Play ball. :"
When some people have nothing else
to worry about, they wonder what
would become Of all the buttermilk If
drinking it were not fad.
A lot of voters, who have heard of
the 'free alcohol bill, will find them.
selves up against great disappoint-
ment next fall.
The Chicago packing house muck,
appears to be too heavy for the ordi-
nary rake. A steam dredge would
seem to be the machine needed.
Really John Wesley Gaines had no
kick coming, on his arrest, since 1t
provided him with another good ex-
ouse for making speech.
When Mr.. Bryan hears that Click
ing" county, Ohio, has indorsed him
for the presidency, he is sure to be
reminded of something. 60 :.
AS yet, the douma has not asked for
anything that the czar ia willing to
grant. Otherwise they are getting
alo lg very nicely together.
A Nebraska couple met, courted and
wed within an hour. In N. Y. they
might also have quarreled and Parted
in the same period, and still have had
enough time to tell their itroubles to
the police.
Now that Emma Goldman and Alex
ander Berkman consider themselves as
good as married, they might relieve
their minds by occasi onally blowing
each other up. 81
In spite of the fact that be has sue
ceeded in getting rid of 70 pounds of
avordupois, Mr.. Taft's friends still |
consider him in the presidential
heavy weight class.
That Chicago woman who kissed the
whole college fraternity can get per- |
manent job anywhere as picnic |
chaperon.
If the southern people vote as they |
cheered, President Roosevelt might |
carry Norfolk by large majority.
The Presbyterian General Assembly
has refused to elect one of its men,
bers to an office because he smokes to-
bacco. Thus another ambition goes up
in smoke.
Any trouble that may befall during
June can be easily accounted for. |
The month comes in on Friday.
We hope that Alfonso in making his
princess queen, will not make her
highEna.
All is not gold that glitters, and all
is not beef that's timed by the trust. |
The prediction that the end of the
world is due'in 1929 will prove rather |
discouraging to that portion of hu.
manity cont onted with the necessity |
of hustling tCr living for twenty |
three years more.
The election of DuPoat, of Del, the
"power prince" to the U. s. Senate,
will go good way toward blasting"
the hopes of Addicks.
A few years ago someone remarked
that there are good trusts and bad |
trusts. The administration seems to |
be having very poor luck in locating
any of the good ones.
From the tenor OF his remarks, it is |
evident that representative Jenkins
thinks the rate bill was spoiled by too
many section bosses.
Senator Burton claims to be poor
man, so we must take it for granted
that his numerous lawyers are handl-
ing the case for the excitement there
is in it.
A New York boy found watch and
ran a half mile to give it to police
man. When last heard from, the watch
was still running.
Philadelphia society women have de-
cided to "rece.ve Max Gorky and his
lady friend" and the people who look |
on Philadelphia .s slow town, can
Ioll that 10 their cigarettes and smoke |
it.
The slight earthquake shocks re-
ported from Southern Illinois seem to
indicate that the Yates senatorial boom
is still trying to Attract attention.
The czar was quite right in refusing
to receive deputation fIom the lower
house of parliament. Nowadays, the
telephone is the proper means OF COM
munication.
Senator Burton Is beginning to have
a suspicion that after its recent earth
quake, the senate is also determined
to have fire.
Pittsburg is having heat prostIa-
tions. There is slow town for you.
Chicago had heat prostrations over
week ago.
Perhaps the czar is doing as well as
could be expected, considering the
kind of official company he is com
PEELED to keep.
This discovery that the mob at
Springfield, Ohio, lynched the wrong
man, certainly would cost that town
it's good name if it had one.
l0Oso rate UIu COuI0TOuOos uoeU W
be impressed with the fact that tine
public has a powerful telescope
trained their way.
Rockefeller's health it is announced,
is fine, though possibly the Standard
Oil company 10 not feeling quite az
clipper as usual
We might readily agree not to do
anything that would injure the pack
ers' business If they in turn would
not do anything to inJure our health.
Nine. Bernhardt says this tour is
an "irrevocable farewell" thus en-
phasizing the contrast between it and
her former farewells which we're re-
Vocable at will.
Doubtless the story that there is
soap mountain in Nebraska was in
vented for the DurDoee of soaring