davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-07-22
Tohn Chinan;an.

have just received the following
quaint story from reader who is appa-
emily unperturbed by the recent earth
quake. A lady in San Francisco engaged
X Chinese cook. When the Celestial
5mme. among other things she asked
lin his name,
ms. "is Wang Hang Ho."
"phI ] can't remember all that" said
lhe lady. II win call you John"
John smiled all over and asked:
2frWhAt your nance r.
tf.Ady name Ia Mrs. Melville Langdon.'
ME no member all that. said John
sChinatnan he no savoy Mrs Me1pbu
Lopdon. eau you Tommy. TIA tier,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-07-22

9 ! ors, downed me VA humble ty-peg and nd
then every one OF en-, when we RESTED.
ab,holts, to see which Sid Of the guess
ton was int, tfroWed na> flat and set e
on B me. So, all things cons dered and y
4 tic balance OF EN-, that the prisoner OF
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-07-22
Il this season, admtt..'''' said tho Eng
ish1nan What 3 was 9S5 your sadyegltur re-,

Fthough2 r M
ijII..Woll, q said tho Ameri can 'as I was
walking along u noticed that the Hl lll
was very thick, and presen tly, " 1 saw g
high hat atloat on q large .pudd leS ofM very
rioh ooze. Thinking to do !. some onfe@a
Kindness, / gave the hat q pok Ike Awlthgmy
lick. when an old gentlemanH looked w
from beneath, surprised ii and frownlng:
.,IIalloal' T said, you're IN pretty dsep!i
Deeper than you think, he said. ss I'm
5on the TOP 81 an. omnibus Y don
Tit IA tn. Is & h SO an.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-07-22
Another Story onaIts Travels,

n |Anotner otory On y 70 u s'1s'
a Yankee Just returning 10 The STATE 81 4 =
was dining Witt. an Engltsl1man ?, and tnoS
latter complained OF tho mud IN Amer ca,
aYeB," said tho AmeFtce;rl d Il lta
lothingto the mud over here !. Il y
Nonsensel' said the gl!sb,iNla NJ Y, !.
THIS afternoon had d sFairiagh y La ~ Yenf
near getting Il re- p 10
With M. OH amnnr-pll tllrQltgl yoa \
COMPOUNDED mnd!Y II " S s. is n u
" Some og the Atreet A aTS u NV TO re9sy
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-07-22

with the same person-with Mr.. Blank.
SO, you see, II must be all right
IN z. No; i don't see. said /.
~ " - But listen, the young woman ex-
planned. Mrs. Blank makes her husband
give her all his winnings, and then gives
the money to mo- hand her In turn all
the money my husband has won from
hers, And SO. you see, We both get our
own husbands money, and have twice as
saluch as we'd be able to get out OF them
I Ia amy other way. '--I1x change.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-07-22
This Roast Beef Of Old England,

snail mo do with our boy2" seems to he
satisfactorily answered In the following
advertisement. which appears IN the VIM
taow sf Harrington Road buteheF's
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-07-22


III come 81 the results of that ere educa-aS
ton re inflicted. X Il f rinstance, there ts{
fBrny III zee, Il WHO tent to school ,oyers$at$
M Lou ervle and * has just lately come
home with an intimate knowledge Ii OIL
&S,m11ost ali the non essentials and a toler-
HI ant col, tempt for the plain but service
NJ les--who tiinbled down the N garnet
stairs the other day, nd announce ed that
sh had abrad ed he pa tel las and started
d cIcatrix on her 50 samoid ,5 J cav NJ. m me-
sa s. a gentleman Of the sun burnt burn school
unable gto Id SIX her where she, was hurt
III So how badly, and er-ah well educa-S
S ton may Ii aves broaden herr but III be-
Ohm Drowned to gosh II 1t amt rapidly
s8thinnin sr1e, . tryin Ito keep up WI her
Ssintellectual curves and convolut ions y
Puck, II 5S3 " s@
ousek keeping Made Easier.
Mrs. j. 3. Henderson, \ ex- Senator Hen
sderson's wife, who has had the! honcr 4
converting WI Ting Fang to total aps
u hence and to veg arlanism, W. ita King
Al bout gambling at IA a. dinner party IN
washing ton. ss TX 3t 5j Sfs ;
II :itsThereSis only one Kind OF gambling
8s that 1 can indorse, Z Mrs. Henderson said
$sS "Thnt Is the Kind that was prac Iced In
Vi ST. Louls by two young men q used 70 l
SsI know, " st5s 33 w
fsS Hearing that these two young men
S were gambling sheavily,8I called on the
wife O. one OF them one afternoo on. 81,
ssfsS;$ z. larry 7 said I am told that John
s plays cards every nj ght-plays for large
~ stakes. too. s Is
s555.'sThe young woma Il nodded and smiled.
s..'Ss.Yes. that Is true, she said But It's
II. right, 5 #
95 &. Nv hat y said L. III isas8
rs. she went on. he always plays
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-07-22

Peasant from & z unch.

pleasafitf from 4 unch. 4
PublIo wotshlp \ u / eaiA Il u ~ o. the
u 6eoiiS,e. yet Mn Rook " llsr, on his xoy.i
n 40 across tfis Atianti found no signs
3s,S Jood servants ara becoming Is DIM
Il o,iit Is obtain that IN VI Ell teall cannot
4 blaine TIC American lady who 81 tlisin-s
VI hatlted her son because hs s. rr1atried her
~ inaid. VI n
II bstiary Garlic i s,indn " evetiirg al "a ross
& at {. Niary.at- Hill, and not ~ ihned'
Terriers r. a was errore otisly M
Bra, carrel ana . q utiirie .Si ~ the Tint
] ycrsll y3 4 n ofs Chicago have discovered,
means Of Transforming veins Into arte-S
#ties. 1t was III Chioa %, II ~ III be res III
q 1nef,lbcret,3 that ii method 81 flirting dis
easad COW Into chicken par ste WAS fir'st56
footed III MA
At Swansea last week u tnotse jumped
down thc throat Of & schil q no wa Il
&coug hing. we are 1 81 to hear that tfl ef
chilli is getting well. a Her recovery, we
understand Il Will Il be fnainl duo N the
{ fact that there were no y compile lions,
4 such asa cat going uowt, after the mouse
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-07-22
Broad Ianl,d q ,thel.rw,,ise..

sS'''1 s,pose likely II, ntatively ind may
Il hap a$trife syinpath tically, said Homes
Farmer Honls, ia boa din school 8e duca-
Stion broadens one quite o good deal d 8is
S5."'I gucss.,s 4resigne 81 replied equally
honest Farmer 1Iornbeak :, THAT II broad
4 ems one irennit,' Of course the on e that
Kets the u educat ion- but its # erect isl
somewhat diffe rentS on the other one ), on
whom II s. pose ..wh ON Is grar1rlat ioal)
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1906-11-14
Head of National W 6. q u

Mrs. Lillian H. N. Stevens, who opened the
National Womens Christian Temperance Union
at Hartford Conn, the other day has been at the
head of the organization since the death of Miss
Frances Willard in 1898. In 1894 she was elected
vice president at large, and prior to that time she
and recording secretary one year. Mrs Stevens
is a native Of Dover, Me-. and began life as a
school-teacher. AT 81 she married and went
with her husband TO his home near Portland. She
first met Miss Willard in 1876, and materially
assisted in organizing the Maine W. C. 4. u Be
sides her temperance work Mrs. Stevens is inter
ested in promoting homes for the dependent
classes.
Mrs. Lillian NJ N. Stevens in her annual re-.
port said in part: mo former year has marked
greater progress. The people more widely than
oho is. The reiteration that alcohol Is poison
ntlld1 az fhc
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1906-11-14
IN THE PUBLIC EYE
American Professor in Berlin.

Prof. John w. Burgess, who opened the Theo
dore Roosevelt course in American history at the
University Of Berlin the other day, is dean of Co.
lumba university CO New York city.
Three cheers for President Roosevelt were
proposed and given by Emperor William at the
ceremonies attending the opening. The members
of the emperor's suite, tho professors and the
students responded vigorously The emperor then
conversed with Prof. Burgess congratulatng him
on the successful beginning of his work, and also
had talk with Ambassador and Mrs Tower.
The emperor requested the ambassador to cable
to President Roosevelt his thanks for the presp
dents cooperation
Besides Emperor William the empress, Prince
August Wilhelm, United States Ambassador
Tower and Mrs. Tower, DR.. studt the minister Of
education, and about 50~professors and resident
near the reading desk in the lecture hail. while
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1906-11-14
Sir Hiram Stevens Maxim.

The fierce, white-whskered man representing
the latest portrait of the famous inventor and
scientist, Sir Hiram Maxim, would hardly be
taken for native of Maine Yet such is the case
for he was born in Sangervle, of the Pine Tree
and "cordite," smokeless powder have made
him world famous.
Probably the most thankless task that he ever
performed for erring humanity was the result
Monte Carlo. He proved that tradition, supersfi
ton, and the most elaborate Systems" were alike
Ineffective in fighting the .game' played there
BY mathematical demonstration of the law OF
averages he showed that two nsurmountable OBJ
stacles must sooner or ater soverwhelm the most
successful player the oStfgrefully devised sys3
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1906-11-14
Mew Head Of Spanish war Veterans.

Capt. Hamilton Ward, Jr. recently elected
commanderin-chief of the Spanish war veterans
of which he was one of the founders, was born IN
the nations capital while his father was mem.
Der of the Forty-frst congress, in 1871 He is now
resident of Buffalo.
Young Ward attended the Vermont Episcopal
institute in Burlington. Vt, military school, and
studied law in his fathers office in Belmont, N Y
When his father was elected a Justice of the SUI
preme court OF the state of New York young Ward
removed to Buffalo. and was admitted to the bar
in 1892. Shortly thereafter he became assistant
district attorney OF Erie county and retained that
position untiSthe hostilities with Spain, when he
resigned and was commissioned captain in the
Two Hundred and Second New York volunteer
infantry. He served with his regiment till its
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1906-11-14


emp solve the problem aerial
discarded
aeroplane which propelled with
ceeded propelng his
Hiram speeding his
clear of the
the which
ezra
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1906-11-14

Ing engaged principally garrison duty Cuba.
He has practcng Buffalo that
mn Judge advocate 1901 and secured the enactment laws
days appropriation for memorial service funeral license
ot and the committee amagamaton assisted
prepared the for eourtsmarta
~ f FL
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1906-11-14


Americans occupied
behind them were 400 students who nergeay Prof John
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1906-11-14
presid lent


umndfu if altogether unbelievng
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15

PILES CURED IN TO I4 DAYS.
 PAZO OINTMENT will cure any case of Itching, Blind Bleeding or Protrud- ing Piles-At all druggists-50 cents.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15

Six dogs were killed by the Howard avenue police yesterday.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15
.Phlladelphia Publie Ledger.

-P1lIautIpHII TUUIIV LtuBVI' TO CURE \ COLD IN ONE DAY, Take LAXATIVE BRoMO Quinine Tab lets, Druggists refund money if il fails to cure. E. W. GROWS signature is on each box. 25c.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15
$I5 Eur Sets, $Io. SO.

We have just received another lot of those German Squirrel Sets; the throws are satin lined, large pillow huff to match-a regular $15.00 set. At $10.50.
 Women's $1.75 Rubber
 Boots, $I.35. Women's Rubber Boots of an extra good quality; regular $1.75 value, now on sale at $1.35 pair.
 (Shoe Store-Basement.)
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15

There are letters on my file, Sweet Ma
 rie, Altogether quite pile some from thee; Since you've caused me such distress There's no other way, I guess, But to give them to the press, Sweet
 Marie
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15
Misses Rings, 98c.

Misses Solid Gold Signet Rings in fancy chasings; good space for engraving = an accept able gift at 98c.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15
$12. co Tourist Coats, $6. 6.o5,

Our entire line of $12,OO Tourist Coats are included in this offer, they are made up in the stylish mannish mixtures, some have collars, while others are in the collarless effect-all regular $1200 values. Now on sale at $695.
 Work Boxes, Ioc up.
 Neat and pretty Work Boxes, Needle Books and Needle Cases priced at 10c, 15c. 19c. 25c, 50c, 75c and $1.00.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15
Women's $1o Coats, $7, 30.

Women's $Io Coats, $7.5o.
 Women's Black Kersey Cloth Goats 48 inches long; collarless effect. velvet and button trimmed; satin lined to waist, regular 5000 value. At $750. Boys $Loo Underwear, 39c.
 Boys ribbed wool underwear, fine quality yarn, drawers extra well made and finished with sateen yoke, $100 goods at 39c each, 3 for $1,00.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15
Silver Match Safes, 4oc.

Imitation Silver Match Safes in many unique designs; will wear as well as pure silver. A good value at 49c.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15
Gold Bracelets, 98c.

Gold Plated Extension Bracelets in plain or chased Nethersole ring patterns; patent spring; will fit any wrist-98c
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15
Fancy Comb Sets, $I.24

Comb Sets in many beautiful designs of amber and shell, stud ded with rich settings of brilliants, At S1.24.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15
SAOer Nouelties, 25c up.

Sterling Silver Novel; ties such as, Hat Brush es, Button Hooks, Shoe Horns, Darners, Nail Buffers and Hat Pin Hold CTS, 25c up.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15

TRY THE GRAB BOXES-each package is Sc, none higher-none lower. You are sure of getting at least Sc worth and in many cases the articles are worth as high as 10c and t5C. These boxes are scattered thru the store.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15

Watch and Neck Chains; rope or bead styles, 13 inches long, rolled, plaited or solid gold Soc to $15.00.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15

Manicure and Toilet Scts. 49c up.
 At this price range we have very large assortment of Manicur- ing and Toilet Sets in silver and oxidized, also Mahogany and Brazil ian woods with silver mountings, silk lined tray boxes, 49c to $14.98.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15
Handsome Gilt Clocks, ,o8c

Highly Ornamented Gilt Clocks, \ suitable for mantle or desk guaranteed American movement At 98c.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15

Silrer Mesh Bags, $I. 48.
 The new German Silver Mesh Bags, made in a very convenient size good $10 and SIP values. At $7.48.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15

A large and varied assort- ment of Cuff Links in Roman, English, Rose and Green Gold. At 25c up.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-15

Jewel Boxes with good, heavy gold or silver plating; neatly lined with silk. At 49c each.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1906-09-07
A Printers Mistake.

1t WASH a Missouri editor but a print
er' S devil who was going through his first
experience on making up forms. The
paper was late and the boy got the galleys
mixed The first part Of the obituary
notice of pecuniouS citizen had been
dumped in the forms, aud the next hand
full of type came off galley describing a
recent fire. thread like this The pallbear-
ers lowered the body to the grave and as
it was consigned to the flames there were
few if any regrets, for the old wreck had
been an eyesofe to the town for years.
OF course there was individual loss, but
that was fully covered by insurance.
The widow thinks the editor wrote the
obituary that way because the lamented
partner of her joys and sorrows owed him
FIVE years subscription
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1906-09-07
Leper,s Car Destroyed.

As an aftermath to the appearance ia these
parts some weeks ago OF George Rossiit. the
unfortunate Syrian leper, who At last accounts
was in West Virginia, comes the news that the
Lehigh Valley freight car in which be travelled
was burned Friday at Sayre, Pa, BY order Of
the Board of Health Of Pennsylvania
The car was used to carry Rossitt from
Philadelphia to she leper colony in West Vir
ginia, and passed through Baltimore county,
where Rossitt was detained several days, but
was not permitted to land in Baltimore A
large label decorated the car. bearing the word
"Leprosy." Sight Of the label Hnueryed The
trainmen all along the road. Crews and yard
employees who saw the car threatened to throw
up their jobs when ordered to handle II, for
fear Of coming in contact with the dread DIS
ease. From one station to the next il was
hauled, until it reached Pittston, Pa
The yard men there stunned the Car. 1t
was switched on siding. where he was beEeld
with horror when the railroaders learned that
it had contained q leper. As in other yards,
the Pittston sEitchmen refused 10 go near it.
Finally it was coupled to string Of other
cars and carried 10 the yard at Sayre. When
the yardmen saw the warning sign they were
struck with spasms of fright. aud rather than
obey orders to handle it the men notified the
ofieiEsst that they would go on strike.
Tie Board of Health in the meanwhile
heard that the car was in Sayre, Pa, and
issued orders to have il destroyed
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1906-09-07
Hired Train To save Child
From the PHILADELPHIA ledger.


A special train, driven at the rate of
hearty 20 miles an hour, brought to this
city from Cape May Sept. 2 a little girl
apparently dying of appendicitis, and the
agonized father and mother. Marie, Il
years of age, daughter of DR.. R. Walter
Starr, dentist, of III South Seventeenth
street, was the sufferer The train left
Cape May at 8 minutes before noon, and
made the rs miles from there to Camden
in 20 minutes, greater speed than had
been attained before on that division of
the Reading Railway.
An ambulance from the Medico-Ch
gical Hospital had been summoned and
crossed the river to Camden, where the
child was placed in it, and at minutes
after 2 o clock she was in the operating
room. She was etherized by DR.. Charles
REYNOLDS. and DIR. William Easterly Ash
ton then opened the abdomen and removed
the vermiform appendix. He was assisted
by DR.. John McGlyn. Doctor and Mrs.
Starr we're at the hospital, but not in the
operating room at the time. The child
came out of the state of anesthesia very
promptly. DR.. Ashton expressed conf
dence in her complete recovery.
DR.. STAIRS daughter was attacked with
what seemed to be intestinal trouble two
days ago. A physician Monday morning
counseled immediate operation. She was
suffering intensely, and there was danger
that she would die of exhaustion, due to
commissions.
When the train started it became ques-
ton whether the child would live until she
reached the hospital. Stimulants and re-
storatives were given her to ward of col
lapse. The journey was one of alternate
hope and despair. Couched on downy phi
lows in a drawing room car, the mother
and father watched her breathlessl y every
instant.
The transfer from the train to the am
bulance and across the ferry was another
interval of suspense. Then came the su-
preme anxiety of the operation. Mrs.
Starr bore herself with fortitude until it
was over, and then, nearly fainting, was
taken by her husband to the house OF a
friend
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1906-09-07
Up or Down.

On Mount Tom, in Massachusetts, says
Harper's Weekly, there IS traction sys-
TEN operating TIVE cars in cable As one
car goes up the other CONES down. The
grade Is an extraordinarily steep one, .
fact that frequently calls forth anxiou,
inquiries relative to the safety Of the sys-
TEN from nervous tourists
One afternoon lady from Boston seat
ed herself 10 the rear Of the car that was
about to make It's ascent Of the mountain
and il was at once observed by several
that she was extremely anxious a 10 the
outcome of her temerity.
is this car perfectly safe2' asked she
Of the conductor.
alt is considered to be, madam, was
the reply.
Have there never been any accidents
None TO speak of, madam-that Is, no
serious ones
The lady sighed uneasily. II was
wondering, observed she, ''what would
become Of me if the cable should break
when we were just reaching the top of the
mountain.
THAT would depend upon how sou had
spent your past life, madam, quietly re
Piled the conductor.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1906-09-07
The Jury Disagreed.

Some years ago while | was residing at
Visalia, remarked Attorney William ii.
Afford, Il was called to Hartford to defend
a petty offender in justices court The
defendant had demanded jury trial, and
we put in half day trying to get jury,
only to find at the end of that time that
we had one lone juror in the jury box.
!" Well, L IN willing TO Try the case
with one Juror, said the attorney for the
prosecution.
q SO am l, declared.
And we proceeded with the trial
The arguments were howlingly funny, for
the reason that the attorney for the prose
oution persisted in addressing the lone juror
as gentlemen of the jury, and succeeded
in swelling the jury with feeling Of pride
and satisfaction by some timely comment
on the self-evident honesty intelligence and
integrity Of the body. | really thought
that had the joror won. Then the con
stable led him out to the jury room, where
he might deliberate with himself In
twenty minutes the Jury returned with the
announcement that no agreement ocald be
reached.
." What : Numbered the justice Of the
peace. You get back there and reaeh
verdict
The jury was out twenty minutes more
'Thejury disagrees, was the announce
ment when the court asked the lone jury
man if he had arrived at a verde, You
see, it's Ike this, he went on 70 explain
When outsider the testimony Of one side
want to find the defendau, guilty, and
when consider the testimony Of the other
witness want to discharge him | ean
agree with myself
''And the jury was discharged.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1906-09-07
Big Elephant Holds Up Train,

Queen, the biggest elephant with a
western circus held up the train on which
she was travelling at Belfast, Nd, for half
an hour and fatally injured a man on the
railroad platform who was watching her
antics
The big elephant was in the car next to
the engine, and just as the train drew up
at Belfast she had filed her trunk with
water from the engine tank aud deluged
the engineer and fireman, who were driven
from the cab. Every time they tried TO
return the elephant threw stream of
water against them with such force as to
take them almost off their feet
Charles Williamson was standing on the
station platform when Queen suddenly
turned trunkful of water upon him.
He was knocked from the platform and
rolled down an embankment and was pick
ed up unconscious.
No one dared to go near the car, and
Queen held the engineer and fireman off
till she had practically drained the tank,
mud and all, and thrown it on every side
at whatever object came within reach.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1906-09-07
Did as He Was Told.

An amusing instance of literal mind
edness' was afforded not long ago by a
bell-boy in hotel in Washington.
One of the guests, Congressman from
the West, had hurried to the hotel clerk 5
counter He had just ten minutes in
which to pay his bill, reach the railway
station and board his train.
When he hastily had transacted his
business with the clerk and had turned to
dash out of the door, it suddenly occurred
to him that he had forgotten something.
''Here, boy" shouted he to a diminutive
negro on the bench run to room No. IS
just as quick as you can, and see whether
[ have left a box on the bureau But
hurry, as have only FIVE minutes.
The boy rushed up the stairs. In two
or three minutes he returned, out of breath
eyes, sahr he painted, you left it,
sab r