The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1906-03-01
ADVICE TO CANDIDATES.

Joe Triggs, of farm philosophy fame,
gives the following advice to prospec-
tive candidates for political Office.
AS this is the season when the citizen
of the republic is bordering over the
question whether or not he will "place
himself in the hands of his friends" we
want to offer few reasons why he had
better not run.
First 1t is very doubtful if you are
qualified for the place you seek. 1t will
probably be too big for you. A little
man in big mans suit of clothes al
ways looks smaller than he really is and
wicked people are sure to make fun of
him.
Second-You have little confidence
in human nature now. After you get
through with the campaign you won't
have any. If elected you are very like
ly to get the big head, if defeated you
will be sure to have a sore head for
long, long time, just like
Third-You, not being wholly sane
titled, have probably at some period in
your humble career done some things
that would not look we'll in cold type,
or sound we'll as street talk. When
these get aired you will feel very mad
and mortified, and heartily wish you had
not been fool enough to run.
Fourth-If you are real good kind of
man, your opponent, or the opposite
party, will swear something onto you,
and though wholly false, It will bother
you just as much as if true, and make
you good deal madden than if it were
true. 1t is almost impossible to kill a
campaign SANDER until after election,
and then they die of their own accord.
Fifth-You will have to be sweet and
friendly towards lot of chumps that
you had nothing but a profound con-
tempt for, shake hands with men you
had rather kick, and trail your self re-
spect and independence in the dirt. If
you say you won't do this, but will run
on your dignity, you'll get left sure.
Sixth-It will cost money, and more
than you dream of. Forced contribu-
tions will be levied on you to build
churches, pay for brass bands and cam
paign speeches and the beat who has
one vote of his own and claims to con-
troll two or more down on Gizzard creek
will strike you for loan of 5000, which
always proves permanent investment.
Seventh-If you should be elected,
you will probably never know when to
let go, and will have to be choked off,
and kicked out. You will get a notion
that nobody else can fill your place, and
having once held Office, will hate, after
being choked off, to go out in the cold
world to earn an honest living by hard
work, and will be eternally hanging
around and scheming to get in again.
Eighth-Once elected you won't find
office holding the soft snap it now looks
q to you. You then become public prop,
erty, the dear people will find fault
with you, and no matter how hard you
may try, you will find it hard work tc
suit them. If you don't see fit to pat.
ronize all the measly newspapers pub
lished by your constituents, you will be
accused Of belonging to "ring" and be
called some choice names; see late files
of the -.
Lastly-The general effect of Office
holding, especially when the Office is
sought and worked for in modern style is
to spoil good man, and while the TEN
porary possession of small office may
crafty your pride, you will find it will
cost more than it comes to.