Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-07

. l. LIZ " i i
able g-g-gentle1nen; unfit FORUM -1ately H-he
c-c-crucfed eighteen h-hundred years ago.
Henry Clews and TraverS were close friends, but
the wit took great delight in joking the financer,
who took his saes with unfaing good humor.
C1ews was an industrious letter writer and inter
viewer" on all public questions. He never let
chance go by for engaging in current discussion.
national finances which he felt proud over. Meet
ing Travers, he accosted him with:
Say, Travers, have you seen my last article on
the currency question:"
Il d-d-don't kn-n-now, Henry, b-b-but hobo
hope So"
Another time he hailed Clews as the latter was
entering a crowded club room, and with simulated
bosterousness introduced him lone of most
illustrious self made men" The fnancier took off
his hat and bowed low, exposing as he did pate
as destitute of hair as billiard ball. an exhibit which
led TraverS to say:
Henry, wh-h-ile you wwere-were m-rn-rnakng
yourself, w-wh-y d-d-didn't YOU p-p-put s-s-some
h-hair on t-t-top of your h-h-head?"
Travers and Jerome
TRAVERS and the late Lawrence R. Jerome
known always Larry" were nseparabe
friends thou h forever victmizing another with
practical jok Once the two were travelling together
train in The South lust before the conductor
expected to through the Travers fell asleep
Jerome slyy removed from Traverss pocket the
pass on which he was travelling, and going forward
several seats, sat down and simulated slumber.
When the conductor shook him and asked for his
ticket, Jerome pretended to search through all his
pockets. linen, knowing exactly what 1TaVerS
would say under the circumstances, and initiating
his friends suffering speech, he said:
I'm W-w-william R T-t-travers Of New York.
b-b-brother- n-aw of Mr.. Blank, the president of
the road, and assure you it's all right"
The, conductor accepted the explanation and
Travers by the shoulder. Travers felt for his pass
and then, like his impostor friend, searched through
all his pockets the conductor regarding him with
sudden suspicion Finally he suffered out:
I'm W-w-wiam R. T-t-travers of New York.
1 had p-p-pass; b-b-but l c-c-can't find it. I'm
bb-brother-n-law of Mr.. Blank the president of
the road, and assure you it's all right
Il guess not" replied the conductor You can't
fool me, with that stutter You'll have to pay
your fare or be put off
Jerome permitted Travers to work himself into
a rage of indignation, and then interposed with the
pass and cigar for the conductor.
The Siamese Twins
TRAVERS in company with friends went to
= see the Siamese twins. He examined attentvely
the singular 1igature that connected the twins and
turning to the lecturer solemnly said, "B-b-b-br-
brothers. | pppresume?"
The story of how Travers suppressed an oracu1ar
individual who boring everybody with long
winded essay on the oyster had considerable vogue
The fellow going endlessly and aimlessy, and
finally started upon discussion to the intelligence
of the biva1ve, saying that it was disputed point
among scientists whether the oyster had brains.
At this juncture Travers to the relief of the
wearied company with the interruption: 'Of
course, the oys-oys-oyster has b-bbrains The oys-
oys-oyster kno-no-nows when to sh-sh-shut up,