Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-03-02

Minor Scenes and incidents Skctched
on the SDot.

hits OF WASHINGTON LIFE.
Minor Scenes and incidents Skctched
the spot.
Occasionally a Missourian in congress,
usually dicreet forgets his training and at
tempts to SHOW people some things be-
yond the range of common knowledge. At
recent committee hearing on the bill to
modify the tax on alcohol, Champ Clark
butted in just to help out a witness who
did not know how certain kind of alcohol
was made. The Missouri congressman said
that this particular kind of alcohol was in
vented by a Missouri convict. who pounded
the sour corn pone they gave him for
breakfast until IT distilled into the stun
now under investigation" The story was
received with shouts of laughter, which,
however. did not disturb the witness. He
waited until the laugh subsidized and then
quietly remarked. THAT story proves what
have always believed, that all the bright
men in Missouri were put i'm the peniten-
tiary." Mr.. Clark thought for some time,
but nothing occurred to him and he did not
speak
The veteran Senator Morgan is the pos
SCISSOR of that rare sense of humor which
enables him to enjoy a joke even when It
- pll nlDlSe1, ana ne is even not aNcTSe TO
telling about It, One afternoon he sat in
the cloakroom and told this:
THE other afternoon | was sitting at
home with nothing special to occupy me,
and l picked up an old volume of the Con-
gressional Record I opened it at random
and hit upon the middle of a speech. which
began to read. Very soon l became IN
terested, and as I proceeded l said to my
self, This man is making a very sensible
talk | found myself quite in accord with
his views and read along with good deal
or approval until | had finished two pages.
I was wondering who could have made
such a speech, but was too much interested
to look back to find out. But l turned
the page I came upon an interruption, and
there was my own name given as the sena-
tor making the reply. 1t was my own
speech l had been reading"
Senator Tillman has fallen into the GUS
tom, long since established by the orators
in the house, of having a quotation precede
his speech, generally of poetry that is sup
posed to fit the nature of the rhetorical
effort
But Tilman has improved upon the house
custom. He has taken the liberty of in
jecting thoughts into the quotation Even
oidhtSptiIt, the man IIOul WlOUl Human
borrowed his first quotation, all sufficient as
he is for so many men, does not express
all the South Carolina senator thinks Here
Is the Shakespeare excerpt, with the Till
man interpretations:
"Why man, he Rooseveit) doth bestride the
narrow world
Like Colossus and we petty men"-you,
thank God, not I-"walk under his
huge legs and peep about
To find ourselves dishonorable graves
or piece of pork.
When Tillman quoted that In the senate
he shook his finger at Spooner, one Of the
smallest men in the senate. Spooner caught
the humor of the situation and bristled up
as If he were going to make 1t a personal
matter. In menacing tones he demanded
Does the senator mean me-?
Tillman caught the twinkle in Spooners
eye and laughingly declared that he had no
idea of holding his friend from Wisconsin
up to scorn as q, petty man.
A bride and bridegroom from Massa-
chusetts arrived IN town on their wedding
tour and put up at the Metropolitan hotel.
At the same table with them sat a stately
handsome man who proved to be Senator
McLaurin of Mississippi. Mr.. McLaurn's
genial courtesy soon put them at ease.
He volunteered to show them the town and
promised to get them a personal interview
with the president
At an appointed hour they appeared at
the senate and the Mssissppian went to
receive them. He had just shaken hands
when Senator Lodge. cold, dry, wintry and
acidulous, happened to come up
Senator Lodge" said Senator McLaurin
''this is very dear friend of mine from
your own state. He comes, in fact, from
| -,
I shall be glad If you VII take him to the
White House and get him a personal in
| tervew with the president, and there are
several other attentions which I should be
! glad to have you show him and which he
will explain to you"
| With a twinkle in his eye and a witch
ing at his mouth Mr.. McLaurin vanished
into the senate chamber, and for the rest
| of the day Mr.. Lodge was busy showing
the Massachusetts couple around.
! , Speaker Cannon was talking about the
queer requests he receives for appropria-
lions from investigators of various kinds
zone time government scientist asked
for $4,000 for the study of metaphysical
science. asked him what he meant by
astrophysical. And what do you think he
| told me?"
| why he said, metaphysical is the
study of the suns rays behind the red
Think of 1t! Eighteen thousand of the
! governments good hard-earned money for
the study of the suns rays behind the red
"'What are the suns rays behind the
redo" I asked.
"'Why, the colors OF the spectrum out
side of the red the man of science re-
piled.
! "'Can YOU see emp / asked
"'No,' he replied but think could if
I had the $1,000"
Senator Foraker, while debating the pure
food bill, was getting warm on the subject
of fusel oil in whisky. He had submitted
to several interruptions and his patience
was about exhausted when Senator TilIman
asked him a question. The Ohio man re-