davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1906-09-06
An Act of Providence.

The following story is told of a
Scotch minister: Among his congre-
gatiou , shoemaker whom, on his
pastoral visits, he always found in the
very best humor and spirits. One day,
however, the clergyman was deeply
grieveS to find his parishionor in an
extre .nely despondent mood, and
begged to know the reason.
"Weel, SIR" answered the shoemak.
er, sadly, we see there's rival shoe
maker started richt opposite me, an
ma trades beginnin' to leave me-"
Tut, tut, John!" exclaimed the min
lister, soothingly, you shouldn't allow
yourself to go down like that. Be a
, man end meet your troubles like a
man. And above all. John, trust in
Providence and all will come right"
A few weeks later the minister paid
the shoemaker another visit and was
delighted to find him as CHEEKY and as
humorous IS ever.
Now, John," said the minister.
didn't | tell you all would come right
If you trusted in Providence?"
AYE, sir" responded John, cheerily,
we did that, an took your advice" :"
Then after a pause he added signifi-
cantly: The ither shoemaker died"
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1906-09-06
GaIveston's Sea Wall

makes life as safe in that city as on
the higher uplands. E. w. Goodloe
who resides on Dutton ST.. iii Waco
Tex, needs no sea wall for safety.
He writes: 81 have used DR.. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption the
past five years and it keeps me well
and safe, Before that time / had a
cough which for years had been
growing worse. Now it's gone"
Cures chronic coughs, LaGrippe,
Group, Whooring Cough, and pre-
vents Pneumonia. Pleasant to take
Every bottle guaranteed at Hughes
& Co. Price 50c and $500 trial bot
tie free.
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1906-09-06
COUNTY NEWS
Interesting News Items Gathered
by Chief Correspondents
RICHARDS

Elva Dye left Thursday to take up
her work at the Madison Normal.
FRANKLIN Enger has accepted po.
sition at Crow Creek running the
hotel and stable,
Mr.. and Mrs. Carl Vestbostad have
new baby girl with which they ex'
pect to be able To win the first prize
at the baby show next year.
The Gebhart charivaria party
was held at the home of Mr., and
Mrs. j. Ii, Axon Wednesday night
anb was decided social success in
every particular,
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1906-09-06
UITerence In sex.

A Mexican gentleman who had just
been converted to Christianity, was in.
vited to address a religious gathering
of English-speaking people. Rising, he
said: Ladies and gentlemen: re-
gret ve'y mucho to cockroach on your
time"
On resuming his seat upon the con
clusion of his speech, an .Englishman
sitting next to him, nudged him and
said:
"You do not speak English well
You should not say 'cockroach,' but
'hencroach.'
"Ah!" said the Mexican, Il see. II
is a difference in sex"
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1906-09-06
NOT SAFE, AFTER ALL.
IN sElF DEL ENsE

Major Hamm. editor and magager
of the Constitutionalist, Eminence,
KY, when he WAS ficrcely attacked,
four years ago hy piles, bought a
i,A - ll,lm,'s AiIi,a Salvs
which he says Il cured ne in ten
ays end no trouble since" Quick
healer of burns, sores. cuts aud
wounds 2oc at W. j Hughes x Go
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1906-09-06

For Sale-A nearly new McCor-
mack low down binder i'm good run
ming order. Time given if desired
w. a. Hoobler, Sec. l4-10S-6S.
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1906-09-06

BoOt-and Shoe repairing, VIM
Lawson, Chamberlain. =. ID. All
ork Willie taken TO Chamberlain
and returned to Gam Valley prompt
by the stage driver.
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1906-09-06

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY.
Take LAXATIVE BROMO QUI
NINE Tablets. All druggists refund
the money If it fails To cure. f.. w.
Groves signature is on each box
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1906-09-06

6. o. Reinke, fine watch repairing
at lie Blond's Drug Store, Chamber
lain, =. ID. Work sent and returned
by stage.
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1906-09-06

Go to Terpeauius Y Ereon's. for
anything in the drug line, Chamber
ain, S. u
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1906-09-06
Announcement

! hereby announce myself as can
dldate for the office of county audi
tor OF Buffalo countyasubject to the
decision OF the republican county
convention,
Enusn Gnkrr,
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1906-09-06

FRED j. GRACE.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
The Fields of Peace.

1t was the belief of the ancient
Egyptians, according to a recent writ
er, that everything, material and i'm
material, had it's immortal double. Out
Of this grew the idea of a life in the
future state of perfect happiness in
the ''fesds Of peace" For long time
the common people regarded these
fields of peace" not as a celestial
place, but as situated in the fertile
and we'll watered regions of the Nile
delta in the northwest of Egypt, where
the blessed ever breathed the cool
north wind. Here they lived an ideal
form of their life upon earth. They
plowed Their fields and grew the grain
which supplied them with the dread
which grew not stale and beer that
never became sour" Here was stu
ated the duplicate of their earthly
towns or villages.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
His Visits to the Earl.

There is we'll known English bishop
who writes a very bad hand. This bad
hand caused a sad error to happen
some years ago. A young clergyman
had written to the bishop to inquire
about a vacant curacy, and the reply
that the young man got informed him
that the salary was small and the work
difficult But there was one mitigating
circumstance The incumbent, among
his other duties, would visit the earl
every morning and spend two hours
there. The curate would have rejected
the post but for the daily visit to the
earl. That attracted him. There would,
no doubt. he told himself> be many
fashionable dinners to which he would
naturally be invited. He would make
many friends among the rich and
powerful These friends would be able
to help him in his career. The earl,
perhaps, had daughters. One of them
who knows ?-stranger things had
happened. And so the curate accepted
the difficult and poorly paid curacy to
discover on his first visit to the town
that he had misread the bishops letter
and that his daily two hours visit was
not to the earl, but to the jail.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07

The elephants howdah is that bed
of Procrustes. in which one can neither
sit nor stand with any approach to
reasonable ease, and in which a re-
cumbent attitude is impossible, says
Blackwood's Magazine. Its advantages
are, first, that standing in it man
can shoot on every side Of him; second,
that it is convenient for the carriage
of the occupants paraphernalia-his
guns on racks ON either side, his am
munition in a trough in front, his
other requisites in leather pockets here
and there on the sides of the machine
and his bed blanket on the seat-and,
third, that in a hinder compartment
an attendant can stand to hold that
monstrous umbrella over his head, or
when quick loading is required take
from his hand the gun just fired and
recharge it, These are the advantages.
Otherwise the howdah is an abomina
ton.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
A Sailor on Sea Pictures.

'1'll take sailor along with me the
next time | buy a marine painting"
eaid a millionaire. 81 bought two ma
rines last month, and yesterday my old
friend Captain Salthorse had a look at
them.
"Salthorse said:
"In this first picture we've got a
trading schooner in charge of a tug
towing away from a rock bound coast
through a fearful tumble of sea. The
schooner's maintop mast is gone, and
all sails are lowered except her stay
sail, which is kept hoisted, though she
is towing head on to the gale. Why
that hoisted staysaI? All hands,
suppose, are drunk
:" In the second picture.' continued
Captain SalthOrse, the principal boat,
an eighteen fOoter, is racing, yet has
no flag flying. That's as incorrect as it
would be for you to go to dinner
party minus shirt The crew of this
boat are getting in the spinnaker, and,
if they lower away, both spinnaker and
boom will be in the water, for they
have neglected to let the boom go for
ward. But I know what the trouble is
with them They, too are drunk. st.
Louis Globe Democrat.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
A Real Celebrity,

The local pride of the natives of Cape
Elizabeth, Me- is so intense that it
takes the attitude of pity for all who
have the misfortune to dwell else
where This, says writer in the Lew
iston Journal, is known to regular
summer visitors, and by most of them
is respected One rainy day new
conner, who had joined the gathering
in the store, composed of fshermenand
summer visitors, ventured to enumer-
ate some of the distinguished men who
had come from Maine.
There's Longfellow," he said, land
Hannibal Hamlin, and James G..
Blaine William Pitt Fessenden,
Thomas p Reed and''-
Here an old fisherman looked up
from his work of splicing grass blades,
and broke in Smart? Those fellows
smart?" he questioned. "You just
come down an see Josh Pillsbury skin
fish,
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
The Siren of Ia Prensa.

La Prensa is the greatest and most
influential paper in South Ane-jca. It's
Offices are in Buen3s Ayres, Argentina,
situated in a magnificent building. in
the Avenida This building is SAID to
be one of the most imposing IL tle
world 1t has Il tower crowned by \
great GOlden statue OF a youa'9s Wo21l
representing the Spirit Of the Press.
The proudest possession Of La Prensa
is q 5000 horsepower steam operated
siren Whenever there is an apDau.-.5
disaster-the death of q crowned head
or other event of worldwide interest
whoop goes La Prensa's siren and is
heard for Il while throughout the city.
The local government eXactS q fine Tor
this performance, 500 per minute,
with a minimum Of $500, and if the
fine is not paid on the nail the charge
is double. so when one man is sent to
operate the screecher another is sent
running with a two hundred dollar bill
to the courts. The next operation is to
drape the above referred to young
woman's torch with red velvet in case
of d catastrophe; With Grape in the
event of death. All this causes the
most traOrdinary sensation.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
Portuguese RuElfiEhts.

At Portuguese bullfights not only are
the points of the bulls horns sawed
off, but the stumps that remain are
carefully padded. The horses also are
ridden with consummate skill, and ev-
cry precaution is taken to prevent the
bull touching them. Banderllas are
used by the men on foot and on horse
back and are planted in the neck Of
the bull, which irritates the bull, but
cannot be described as torture Just
as much skill is shown as in Spanish
bullfght, and there may be Just as
beautiful a display of costumes, but
there is no killing either of the bull or
of the horses
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
A. NJ. and =. NJ.

Here is an excellent catch: Ingenu-
ously ask any friend or acquaintance
the meaning Of a. M. and p. NJ. You
will receive some such answer as,
why, morning and afternoon" or BE
fore dinner and after dinner" or Cup
to II o'clock high noon and after II
high noon," or From midnight to noon
and from noon TO midnight" or "Ante
meridian and post meridian: before and
after noon" 1t is conservative wager
that every one to whom the question is
put will stake his happiness on the
word meridian, while the correct word
is meridiem. Ante meridiem and post
meridiem are abbreviated to a. m. and
ID. m,
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
Most Famous Saying.

"What is the most famous saying
ever made by manw an editor asked.
Some thought that Caesar, some
thought that Socrates, some that Lin
coin, some that Nelson, had said the
most memorable thing; but finally the
palm was awarded to Euclid, the
mathematician.
Ptolemy Softer the king of Egypt,
mathematics. Ptolemy plodded at his
problems a week or two, and then
asked Euclid impatiently if there was
not some special, shorter way by which
he could be taught
''Sire," Euclid answered, "there is nc
royal road to learning"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
a WOman's Revenge.

1t is perfectly incomprehensible how
man can go on wearing the clothes he
does-how he can balance on his head
a huge black jam pot with a ledge to
it, incase his limbs in long, tight sacks
of dingy hue and wear round his man
ly throat something resembling shin
ing metal band. Every new fashion
for man that comes out appears to
me uglier than the last.-Spinster in
M. A. 2.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
UnSlaked Lime.

Unsiaked lime is useful in prevent
ing rust because of it's extraordinary
capacity for absorbing moisture. Some
careful workmen who take pains that
their tools shall always be in the best
condition make practice Of keeping a
piece Of lime in their tool boxes to
absorb any moisture which might 9th
erwiSe cause rust
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
A Lofty Death.

Asama is volcano in Japan. A
young man of that country grew de-
spondent the other day and threw him
self into the crater, leaving this letter:
Suffering a feeling of despair impels
me to throw myself into the crater of
vehement Asama. thus winning a
splendid death and ascending the
mountains smoke to lofty life above
the sky
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
Starving to Death

Because her stomach was so weakened
by useless drugging that she could not
eat, Mrs. Mary H. Walters, of ST. Claire
ST., Columbus, O., was literally starving
to death. She writes: my stomach was
so weak from useless drugs that could
not eat, and my nerves so wrecked that
| could not sleep; and not before [ was
given up to die was induced to try
Electric Bitters; with the wonderful re-
suit that improvement began at once,
and a complete cure followed Best
health Tonic on earth. SOC. Guaranteed
by Fl. J. Stangl, druggist.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
Paving Him Back.

"Will you please pull the bell|' said
an elderly woman i'll a car to a young
college looking fellow hanging to a
strap in front of her.
NO, madam. but / shall be glad to
pull the cord which rings the BELL" he
answered
ooh, never mind" she said. '"Tne
cord is connected with two bells-frOnt
and back-and you might stop the
wrong end of the carr
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07

A. j. Nusbaum, Batesville, Indiana
writes: Last year I suffered for three
months with a summer cold SO distress
ing that it interfered with my business
| had many of the symptoms of hay few
er, and the doctors prescription did not
reach my case, and | took several medi-
cines which seemed only to sggravate
my case Fortunately | insisted upon
having Foley's Honey and Tar in the
yellow package, and it quickly cured me
My wife has since used Foley's Honey
and Tar with the same success. H. J
Stangl
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
We'll North TrYinX

W. Fl. Brown, the popular pension at
torney of Pittsfeld, Vt, says: Next to q
pension, the best thing to get is DR..
Kings New Life Pills" He writes: they
keep my family in splendid health. .
Quick cure for Headache, Constipation
and Bihousness. 25c Guaranteed at FL
j. Stangls drug store.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
An Ius1duous Danger

One of the worst features of kidney
trouble is that it is an insiduous disease
and before the victim realises his danger
he may have fatal malady. Take Fo-
ley's Kidney Cure at the first sign of
trouble as it corrects irregularities and
prevents Bright's disease and diabetis,-
Ell. ]. Stangl.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
s:TO Cure a FeIOn"

says Sam Kendall, of Phillipsburg, Kan,
"just cover it over with Bucklens Ami
ca Salve and the Salve will do the rest"
Quickest cure for Burns, Boils, Sores,
Scalds, Wounds. Piles, Eczema, Salt
Rheum, Chapped hands, Sore Feet and
Sore Eyes. Only 25c at e.. J. Stangls
drug store. Guaranteed.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
Spr Valuable TfD.

Here's a letter from woman" said
the answers to correspondents editor,
'who wants to know how to make a
lemon tart"
THAT'S just like woman rejoined
the snake editor Tell her if the lemon
isn't tart to begin with she'd better con-
sign it to the dump and let it go at
that.''-Chicago News.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
A Safety Match.

Papa, what is a safety match?" Mr.
Henpecked Cooking carefully about to
see if his wife is within hearing dis
tance)-A safety match, son, is when
baldheaded man marles an armless
woman
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07

Caller-Is your father at home? Lit
tie Daughter = What is your name,
please? Caller-Just tell him it is his
old friend Bill. Little Daughter-Then
guess he amt at home. l heard him
tell mamma if any bill came he wasn't
at home
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
whore the Money Came From.

Bachelor That's a good cigar you're
smoking. Popley-Yes, that's fine ten
center you gave me. Batchellor-I
gave you? l guess not. Popley-Oh,
yes I'm sure it was your money paid
for it, The only money | found in our
baby's bank this morning was the
dime you put in observation-disclosures
Standard and Times.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
inc One RUHe.

At "a club where card playing was
prohibited four members Struggled
in a pack and, calling the waiter
aside, asked him if he had ever known
the rule broken. His reply was, "All
the years l have been here / have
known every rule broken except one
that of giving of tips" The game pro
,coadaG
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07

Mrs. Justlooking = Have you any
hand embroidered waists? Salesman
(who has waited on her before)-lm
very sorry to disappoint you, madam,
but we have-Chicago News.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
The Breath of Life

It's significant fact that the strong
est animal of it's size, the gorilla. also has
the largest lungs. Powerful lungs mean
powerful creatures. How to keep the
breathing organs right should be mans
chiefest study. Like thousands of 9TH
ers, Mrs. Ora A. Stephens, of Port Will
liams. O., has learned how TO do this.
She writes: Three bottles of DR.. Kings
New Discovery stopped my cough of two
years and cured me of what my friends
thought consumption. 0, it's grand for
throat and lung troubles" Guaranteed
by Fl. ]. Stangl, druggist. Price SOC and
S1.00. Trial bottle free.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
Poor Fellow

Mrs. Browne-He certainly does live
high. 1t seems to me his whole thought
is of his victuals. Mrs. Malaprop--
That's the truth. He's jest what you
might call regular ipecac.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
At the PLAY.

''She must be fifty if she's day.
How can she manage to play the part
Of young grip
well, you know, she was young
girl once" -BrOOklyn Life.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
The Good and BeaueffuI.

10 see the good and the beautiful and
to have no strength TO live it is only TO
be Moses on the mountain of Nebo,
with the land at your feet and no pow
CT to enter 1t would be better not to
see it.-Olive Schreiner
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
A Deadly Weannn

The gentle wave OF lace edged
handkerchief has carried more poor
fellows to their doom than the mighty
breakers of the sea.-Exchange.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
At the Wrong Counter

The lady who went to the book de-
partment of q big modern store and in
CURED for "Crabbe's Tales was told
that fish and provisions were on the
ground f1oor-BostOn Herald.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
Miraculous Multiplication.

A lady who recently bought dinner
service consisting OF ffty-four pieces
Tor IL 3s. was Informed by her house
maid the next day that the bargain
mad become still more wonderful, for
1t now consisted of l,125 pieces. =
Punch.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
------------
Her Divorce Portion.

Mrs. Jones just got a divorce from
her husband for throwing salad in her
face" said one.
Did she get alimonyT' asked the
other.
No. replied the first. ''She got the
salad. New York Press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
sion IT.

A neglected cough or cold may lead to
serious bronchial or lung troubles. Don {
take chances when Foley's Honey and
Tar affords perfect security from serious
effects of cold. = H. j. Stangl.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07

1t is with feelings as with water
the shallow murmur, but the deeps are
dumb.-Raleigh.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07
No Case ON Record

There is no case on record of q cough
or cold resulting in pneumonia or con-
sumption after Foley's Honey and Tar
has been taken, as it will stop your cough
and break up your cold quickly. Refuse
any but the genuine Foley's Honey and
Tar in yellow package. Contains DO
opiates and is safe and sure.-H. j.
Stangl.
When all is summed up, man never
speaks of himself without loss. His
accusations of himself are always be-
lieved, his praises Observation-Disclosures.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07

Do not try to drive your employees
ahead of you, but keep ahead Of them
and invite them to come on.-Success
Magazine.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-09-07

Reprove thy friend privately, COM
mend him publicly.-Solon