davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
DROPS OF WISDOM.

When n soldier returns from a battle.
his story of the fight is more interesting,
and less truthful, if he returns alone.
If man doesn't enjoy making sacri-
fees for his children, life is Il diet of
cold potatoes TO him after they begin to
come.
After a social function in small town
there is sure to be talk" the next day
of how scandalously low some woman
wore her dress in the neck
A woman looks ut her husband and
wonders if she wouldn't have been hap
pier single, and then she remembers the
children and decides that she wouldn't.
Marriage usually has this effect: 1t de-
yeiops the rabbit in one and the wolf in
the other. and the previous disposition
of the one marrying makes no difference
in the transformation.
The best suppers are cooked in those
homes where the only light in the house
at supper time is in the kitchen: \ sign
that 10 help is kept. and the woman of
the house does her own cooking.
There is one thing about society in n
small town; There are no men without
their wives. 1t is all woman can do
to get her husband to go when she goes
along. let alone having him 90 alone.
Some one should decide by drawing a
chalk line on the union suits ON figures
in dry goods stores. just now low it is
| proper to wear a dress i'll the neck, so
| that women may have 4 fixed schedule
and final authority.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
~ THE SPICE OF LIFE -

Ter. arrival John appeared baorin
LAY 10y, On winch was long, cool ', ~. Il
topped with crushed ice and '2 a s s,,
Tree OF mint. With low bows ana small small
smiles smiles he presented it, and wotr hn many nan,
slipped it. "Pprevlauyely
queried Hfo'' san lie
piled. Tue Judge re-
John disappeared, but was soon
o las Ny ny tne tinkle of hand bell. The
up with twinkle in his eve ''oNeu
Il think I've got another snot Tol.,. g.,
he said'-Harper's Weekly. '' "0''''
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

Alfred Belt, the South African mining
king. is said to be riched than Rookie
Teller. Half the mines in South Africa
belong to him, including the fabulous
wealth of Kimberley's diamond output.
The aggregate of his wealth cannot be
stated, but & rough estimate places it
at 81 .00f,00O,000. His yearly income is
$J2 100000, which means that he gets
500 every minute of his life, or, to put
it another way, $1,000,000 IA week.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
A Bootblack,s Estimate of Folk.

OF the many points of view from which
to Judge the success of a lecturer the one
revealed in this incident is unique.
The bootblack at an Illinois Chautau-
qua assembly was asked, Who was the
greatest lecturer on the programme this
year?" ii
Gov. Folk" was the quick reply.
"Why do you think Gov. Folk the
greatest lecturer|
why, sir. / made 1928 the day he
was here p. NJ. Pearson in Lippih-
colts.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

King Edward of England has sent to
Benjamin NJ Jennings of Casey county,
Ky. a very large diamond stud which is
said to have been the property of Paul
Kruger. The present was sent to the
doctor because of the many valuable
pharmaceutical preparations he has
compounded some of which were used
by King Edward.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
As to Old Maids.

I'm glad Billy had the sense to marry
a settled old maid said Grandma Win
kun at the wedding.
why, grandma? y asked the son.
"Well, gals is hity-tity, and wddeTs
is kinder overrulin and upsettin. But
old maids is thankful and willin' to
se.-Modern Society.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

The story from Calumet. Michigan,
that hunter secured $45 from the coun-
ty clerk for the scalp of a wolf, and
afterwards sold the remainder of the
animals hide for S. ought to tempt hunt
ers into the woods, where wolves are
said to be plentiful. Wolf hunting at
that rate would beat deer hunting out
Of sight, for both pleasure and profit.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
At the Tea Table.

Bobby-Is God everywhere?
Mother (patientlyl-Yes, Bobby.
Bobby-Is he in the tea pot?
Mother (embarrassed)-Wh y-why, yes.
Bobby-Is he in the sugar bowl?
Mother frantically)-Yes! l told you
God was everywhere.
Bobby (triumphantly, placing his hand
over the top of the sugar bowl)-Hurrah.
I've got him!-Judge.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
AT Dancing School, or the Small Ro,,,,
COMPLAINT

Ny mother makes me awful mad
:, wlsht she'd let me be.
bur, dern the luck! she seems IN +},int.
Ihat shes a-runnin' me-.
Now, here | am dressed like d,lo
AT this here dancin' school
might look clean an sporty, but
leel jest like fool.
The other kids keep guyin' me.
because come down here
Sech things as ''girly boy" nm dude,
They holler in my ear.
19gurse' ! can blame en-. cause do
Look mushy-like. an yet
Ii they don't cut that guyin' out.
III punch some heads, i'll bet.
They amt no fun in huggin' girls,
But what else kin / do.
with Nom asettin' lookin' on?
lloggone it! l feel blue.
Nom says III be gentleman
In years that is to come.
II she keeps sendin me down here.
won TIN be u bum.
Denver Post
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
Tricks of the Trade.

Jones-You said the makers of this
watch guaranteed it for five years-it
broke just one month after | bought it.!
Jeweler-Yes-but I've had it in my
stock for four years and eleven months!
Town Topics.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

There must be mistake in the an
nouncement of Milwaukee invention for
the propulsion of boats by something on
the side of the hull which pulls it
through the water. Perhaps an airship
is meant, with wings on its sides, like
those of a bird.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
Logic.

If he were taller by head
And dark instead of fair,
II he wore clothes more up TO date
And hadn't curly hair,
If he would smoke and swear a bit
think that | might care.
If ! were like some girls | know
| d never dare to flout him,
II / had any sense l spose
Id think II lot about him,
And as it is I'm 'fraid that |
Can I get along without him.
Brooklyn Life.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

American ranks as the greatest coal
producing nation in the world, but is
third, however, in the list of exporting
nations This is because the consump-
ton OF coal is so heavy that the for
eign trade is only Il secondary consid-
eratinn.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
How to Surprise.

Dauber-Look her, old fellow; I'm
painting a picture and want to study
the expression of suprise-utter, entire,
unbounded surprise. How am | to
achieve it?
Friend-Oh, l know; 60 and pay some
of the people you are owing money to-
Tit-Bits.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

Secretary Taft is Il great admirer of
Speaker Cannon. II insists, too, that
Uncle Joe" looks like Abraham Lin
coin. The secretary was at the capitol
a few days ago and while walking
through the speakers lobby met Mr..
Cannon. Hello. there, Abe how are
you, Abe?' exclaimed the secretary
MIR. Secretary" said the speaker in a
low voice, don't say that out loud;
You'll break poor old Uncle Shelby's
heart; it's been mis- stock in trade for 10.
these thirty years.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

With Siberian plague, typlus, ard the
Terrorists to deal with, Russia has not
had opportunity to realize that peace is
an accomplished fact. Japan has her
trouble, too, in a famine resulting from
crop failure, but she has patriotic peo'
pie with which to face a forbidding sit
uetion in the northern part of the Island
III .y1om
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

Anent the Ohio delegations selection
Of loving cup instead of a punch bowl.
for the Roosevelt wedding, out of con
sideration for the w. c. T. L.. it may
be remarked that so far as use is con
cerned the difference is only in regard to
the method and the capacity.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
ANONYMOUS.

NJ. Prudhomme-I received an anony-
nous letter this morning.
NJ. Bonhomme-Poof. The vile things.
Whenever | receive an anonymous letter
! do not take the trouble to open it
Punch.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

Two of Michigan's star athletes have
been 'conned" out because of failure in
the examinations, and there is gloom in
the university gymnasium. But students
should not forget to train for the win
ming of a diploma while they are pre-
pairing for the various teams.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
A Precautiouary Measure,

A youth left instructions at a jewel
er's shop for the inscription OF an en- en-
gagement ring he had just bought ne
wanted it inscribed Prom Bertie 70
Maud" As he LETT, he turned haeN'
and added. as an afterthought'
shouldn't-ah-cut Maud too deep.
don't you New York Evening
Mail
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

The Naqui Indians of Mexico make
themselves evident occasionally 10y kill
ing groups Of Americans or Mexicans;
and the Mexican soldiery do likewise by
killing lunches of Yaquis There will be
no peace in the mining regions of Mexico
until the Eaquis are converted either by
kindness or with the army rifle.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
Severe.

Form Master (sarcastically. to Jones.
who has been reproved by the head for
making a rude caricature of one of the
mastersl--Well, Jones. and what did the
headmaster say to your funny picture?
Jones with dignity)-He said, sir, that
nobody bpt the lowest of the low would
call it funny Punch.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

Announcement is made that a statue
will bc erected To Ralph Waldo Emerson
at concord. Mass, the town where he
lived and died Daniel c. French. in his
earlier years a friend and neighbor of
Emerson. has been selected az the sculp-
tor. The memorial will cost about SD
600
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

Gen. Fred ID. Grant is at the head of
a movement i'll New York for the form
ing OF an association to perpetuate the
memory of Robert Fulton. the inventor
OF the steamboat 1t is proposed to do
this by erecting Il monument to cost
about 100000, raised ny popular sub
scription.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

Stirring times may be foreshadowed by
the report that the Thibetans are assail-
ing the small British expeditionary force
in their country. Chinese influence is
undoubtedly responsible for the bracing
of the Thibetan spine.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

The BowLegged Man - Doctor,
couldn't you straighten out my bow
legs?
The Economical Doctor-Ol. yes, but
You would have to have all your trou-
sers heightened five or six inches if
did
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

The proposed $40,O00000 canal from
Lake Erie to the Ohio river would be a
great thing for Pittsburg. But there is
room for doubt as to whether it would
be of much general account, as the Ohio
river is not in condition for deep-water
navigation.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

The Cleveland man who is to be mar
ried by proxy to a girl in Australia IS
suggesting a trick that might be adopted
by would-be clippers in desperate emer-
gencies. But long-distance marriages
will never be popular.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
A BARGAIN Hunter

She-I wonder why Mr.. Bilkins is in
love with such a fat girl?
He-He's the kind of fellow who
likes to get as much for his money as
posSihle.-Life.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

The Mormon apostle named Merrill
who recently died at the age of "A. leav-
ing seven wives, forty-nine sons and
daughters and one hundred and forty
grandchildren, cannot be accused of hay
ing favored race suicide.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

Bella-What is the matter, dear: You
don't look well.
Stella-I'm not well. The mareei
waves in my hair make me SeaSick.-
Town Topics
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

When prince of the royal BLOOD"
wins promotion in his country's service
there is no room for speculation as to the
sharacter of his 'puIl.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

The method of smelling iron by cleo
tricity, reported to have been discovered
at 5ault Ste. Marie, Michigan, would be
a great thing for the southern Pacific
slope where there is iron and water
power but no coal.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

The London minister who recommends
Sunday fishing, before or after attend
ance at divine service, is evidently adept
tn the cntting of bait.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

The war with Japan cost Russia $9SS,
100000 in cold cash" but her auxiliary
losses which cannot be computed i'll dol
lars and cents. are much greater.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

While looping the loop, in an automo-
bile, at Lisbon, recently, Mile. Thlra.
noted circus performer. sustained fatal
injuries. They don't do these things 81
much better in Europe
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
A Difference.

Stella-They say that at twenty sAe
was the observed Of all observers
Bella-Yes. and now at sixty S,,t =
the preserved of all preserver> Town
Topics.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

Santos Dumont is at work on ma
chine which he believes will make people
avclaiu. Isn't he a bird?"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

The London pauper who claims that
he has been thriving on a diet OF
Ending is unconsciousy indicating
those who have made wooden nutmeg&
and enriched bran with sawdust.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

1t is now given out that Count Boni
owes the mere bagatelle Of $T,OOO.000
But some people may regard even this
sum as eXtravagant
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

The resident Of Newcastle, Pennsyl-
wanna. who is suing that city for $4,000
because he lost leg while coasting in
violation of the law which prohibits il.
has evidently lost his head" also.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24
One More Snot.

Chief Justice Fuller was not long ago
the guest of southern gentleman who
had q servant named John. famous fo-
his mint iulep. Soon after Judge Full
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

cinct, found THAI he was running fash
ionable pOolroOm
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

The word weller, in the nomenclature
of pugilism, is certainly suggestive oil
what singer of fists ought to be.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

Ella-F'red has given me beauilu'
engagement ring: he must have money
Stella-Oh. | don't know: when hau
it he had paid only one instalment Oh IL
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

What was centaur, pa?'
I'm not certain, but | think j. Nas
half man and half automobile. Town
Topics.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

After social function in Il small towr
there is sure to be talk" the next day
of how scandalously low some woman
wore her dress in the neck.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

A woman looks ut her husband and
wonders if she wouldn't have been hap
pier single, and then she remembers the
children and decides that she wouldn't.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-24

When n soldier returns from a battle.
his story of the fight is more interesting,
and less truthful, if he returns alone.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1906-05-31
Using Inverted Sod.

There are many kinds of plants like
melons that cannot be transplanted
to the open field under ordinary meth
DDS. 1t was found out long ago, how
ever, that plants that could not be
transplanted could be grown on in
verted sod and the sod itself taken
to the open field when the plant OBJ
tanned good growth. Sod for this
purpose should be cut in the very
early spring, as soon as the frost is
melted below the sod line. This will
be several weeks before it would be
possible to SOW seeds in the open
ground This sod can be taken into
the greenhouse, the cellar or the
dwelling house and receive the seed
Of the melon, squash, pumpkin. Gu
cumber or other plant
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1906-05-31
Cleansing Cream.

Melt the wax in double boiler, add
the oil slowly. When all are heated,
remove from the fire, stir antil partly
cool and then beat ir the grange fiaN.~
er water. Beat until cold
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1906-05-31
Return Of Foulards.

Foulards, voiles and other loosely
waven fabrics will be again in favor.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1906-05-31

Orchard on Poorly Prepared Land
In regard to setting orchards on
land not previously prepared, will
say I would not advise setting peach
trees on this, land at all, as it would
be too rich, being pastured all the
time, since the timber was, cleared
away. If roots and stumps are pretty
we'll out of the ground it would be
safe to plant apples the coming
spring; the land being a clay loan is
good for apples. I DON'T like to, sat
any kind of an orchard where the
ground is,full of roots, as, Woody Apis
or root fungus will attack and kill
the trees in from one to five years.
would set if there were, no other
chance and overcome the. difficulty
spoken of by vigorous cultivation in
corn continually for a. period of five
years, and l would advise setting
apple trees on this land 40x40 feet
apart, If roots or stumps are still in
the ground. The reason for this is
so that L would have room to cultivate
in corn until the roots were all gone.
Of course if roots were out of the
ground would plant closer together,
say 30x30 feet, and cultivate in corn
three years at least. 1t will be safe
for him to set his trees this spring if
he cultivates as herein described. He
can prepare the ground in the spring
the same as for corn crop and set
out trees, and the preparation of the
ground will go, on while he is cult
waiting the corr crop on same. You
will find by this method a rapid
growth on the trees, which by the
sixth year will begin to bear some
fruit. would advise shallow cult
walton afterwards once a year in early
spring, as too much cultivation when
bearing makes too much wood growth
and no fruit buds of any consequence.
White Co Francis M. Flota.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1906-05-31
Ib)RINllIlRE:::
FL1z7SRN7Y a@
5zSszzaW
E IL
SSSs$so
Spring Planting:

SHL"S
Fruit, shade and ornamental trees,
grape vines and small fruits should
be planted as>early in the spring as
the condition Of the ground will per
init. They will then get the benefit OF
the early spring rains and be. readysto
withstand the drouth, which generally
follows. They should never be plant
ed when the ground is too wet; as
this will cause it to bake and harden
around the roots. II the farmer is
getting his stock, from the nursery
and it should freeze during transit, he
has only to keep it in cellar storage
for few days and it will come out
just as fine for planting as If freshly
dug, and l thlnk sometimes that it
grows better
Peach, cherry, pear and apple trees
will often bud IN. transit, and if while
in that condition are Immediately
planted, they will hardly ever fail to
grow. When planting trees it has
been my habit to- tramp the dirt
around the roots, but some prefer CIV
ing them water and settling the dirt
in that way. both. methods areepract
tical.
Last spring We planted quite plat
Of Cumberland raspberries early in
March. The ground would freeze
every night and we. could only plant
during the afternoons: To our surprise
we had twice the growth this last sea-
son we have ever had before. To be
able to do this one must have plants
from his own growing, as it would be
too early to ship them safely Straw
berries could not be planted SO early,
as the ground would heave from. freez,
ing and destroy! the plants
My observation, has been that: the
early-set plants make the best;l growth
early, and that shallow cultivation
should follow setting, NO matter at
what time the setting is, dons. One
should never plant when he has, to
mud in" the plants. It is better to
heel in the plants, and wait a. few,
days, as soil right for tree planting
or plant setting is right for blowing,
and every upto-date farmer nova
days knows when to plow.-L.W w. Cog
dali, Sangamon. Co., Ill.,. in Farmers,
Review.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1906-05-31

ones play and laugh, and hop and
skip over the green mounds, wonder
ing at the tssr-dimmed' eyes, of THEM
elders, when,to them the world is SO
fair, so beautiful, SO sweet with tbs
breath of spring and YOUTH but thez
note the little flags futtering from tho
thousands oflhtle graves. and take IN
with the solHann scens-unGonscioussE
the lesson,of liberty on dtfath.''
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1906-05-31
Varieties of Melons,

Varieties of melons do not always
indicate what may be expected from
that locality. The locality in which
a melon is grown regulates to large
extent its value, as its flavor depends
upon the sunshine, and moisture it
receives in developing. Thus, the ia
nous Rocky Ford melon is only the
common Gem melon of the Eastern
states. But when grown in Rocky
Ford, Colo, under a cloudless sky
and supplied with an abundance of
moisture, it develops a flavor and size
not found in the more Eastern states.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1906-05-31
For, the Hair.

Decorations for, the. hair are growing
larger. Huge birds of paradise, aigret-
tes Of great height and enormous but
terfies.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1906-05-31
Molasses Candy.

Two cups Of maple molasses, two
teaspoonfuls of butter, one cup Of
maple sugar, one-half cup Of water.
Boil all together until done; be care
full not to stir while cooking. When
done, pull
Devils Lake inter-ocean and Devils Lake free press. (Devils Lake, Ramsey County, N.D.) 1905-1909, 1906-09-07

M ~
Tom Turner Of the Windsor
hotel, says he has purchased an
automobile for the use Of his
customers. This is a stroke Of
enterprise that will make his
5compe titors go some to over
come.
Superintende Norton has
rented I. Glerum's reside nce in
the Cleveland addition and will
go to house keeping. This an
nonncernent will undoubtedly
cause excitement among the fair
sex, but there is no cause for
alarm. Mr.. Norton will have
his sister and possibly his par
Ients, keep house for him.