davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1906-12-08
More or less Pungenf
Talk About Swimming.

We called him Paddy the Wit. The
following story shows how he merited
the same.
The crew were discussing the latest
attempts to swim the channel. A
Yankee, who delighted in taking down
the others, said: "Well, boys, talk
about swimming, I guess I saw the
greatest featln that line. was cross
ing the pond to the States; the ship
had just cleared Queenstown when a
cry of Man overboard!, was raised.
We saw the poor fellow about half a
mile ahead of US, but could not come
up to him. Put on full steam,' said
the captain. 1t was done, but we
never overlook him. Everybody
thought he must have gone under, as
he was no longer to be seen.
"Judge of our dismay when we
reached New York. Who should walk
abroad for his clothes but the man we
concluded drowned outside Queens
town."
Chow did he reach New York;"
"Swam," was the reply.
Everybody felt small after this tale,
when up jumped Paddy the Wit, and,
Selling the Yankees hand, exclaimed,
"You saw that man yourself?"
'That's So" said the Yankee
ssBe jabers, Pm glad to meet you.
That man was me. And if you had not
seen me do it none of the boys would
have believed it,"
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1906-12-08
A Joke Versified.

"Come, come," said Toms father, sat
your time of life,
There's no longer excuse for thus
playing the rake
1t is time you should think, boy, of
taking wife,"
"Why, SO it is, father whose wife
shall | take?u
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1906-12-08

Vie consulates will be erected in
Sayanger. Kristiansand and other
Norwegian cities.
\ new Swedish opera entitled
''Turandot' has just been composed by
erik Akerberg The libretto, in four
acts. has been written by Ernest Wall
mark.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1906-12-08

Some newspaper men are terrible
liars. In writing of cyclone out west
one of them said it turned well in
side out, a cellar upside down, moved
a township line, blew the slaves out
of whisky barrel and left nothing
but the bunghole, changed the day of
the week, blew a mortgage off farm,
blew all the cracks out of fence and
knocked the wind out of a politician.
Exchange.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1906-12-08
tendant.
The Kind of Dog 1t Was.

The following notice has been pub
Hshed in a northern Peninsula paper
by a French Canadian:
CLOSED. One dawg. Been lose
him bout three weeks. Him white
dawg almost white with him tail cut
off close next TO her body. Anybody
find her bring him to me. l belong to
him and shall give good rewards for
the same. Black spot on him nose
about size fifty cents or dollar piece,
Canada money or United States all
the same. For yours truly with
anxious, Felix Carno, hind side of
Methody Church about three blocks in
the house up stairs with green paint
ing"
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-08-10
The Moonlight Picnic.

The moonlight picnic given at the
beuutif.l home of Mr.. and Mrs.
II. T.. Stockton, last Thursday night
was a most decided C. The
Stockton farm is about four miles
north of Versailles, and the tables
were set in a beautiful grove near the
house. The night was perfect, the
roads were fine. and the refreshments
delicious. Several hay wagons were
loaded with Jolly parties, vehicles OF
If all kinds were pressed into service,
and an immence crowd presant.
The big swing, the great boquets of
beautiful pond lilies and the long
tables so nicely presided over by
pretty maidens, made a picture to be
long remembered by all who
attended. The young walters did
exceedingly well. were prompt and
attentive, and the people were nicely
served. This picnic was given by
the people residing in the country,
Tor the benit Of the new Methodist
church to be erected soon in
Versailles and to these ladies and
gentlemen. we owe the goOdly sun
OF nearly scventy-fve $50 dollars
clear. and we certainly appreciate
their very successful effort. The
weather being very warm, we know
that this meant a great deal OF hard
work to those who helped prepare.
gathered up the supplies, and all who
helped in any way, and W. heartily
shank them. We also wish to thank
ihose who gave us their teams and
wagons and services to make the
~evening what it was. Again we
thank you all.
COMMITTEE
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-08-10
A Call for Cream.

Many farmers both east and west of
Versailles are shipping cream to St.
Louis and Kansas City and making
money. At many points near ST. Louis
and Chicago whole communities are
given over to this business of shipping
milk and cream aud are the most
prosperous to be found anywhere. T.. A.
Crewson has been looking the matter up
and trying to get dea ers interested in
his locality. He has the following
letter which it might pay some of our
people to investigate:
Mr.. l.. A. Crewson,
Versailles, Missouri.
Dear Sir We are in the market at all
times for cream and pay all the market
will afford. Our price is lie for good
cream at the present time and we would
be very glad to install a station outfit
with anyone in your town that will take
hold of the business and handle it as it
should be. Would like to have you
recommend someone who is interested in
the dairy business and think we could
fix up a deal that would be profitable to
all concerned.
Yours very truly,
The Meridcn Creamery Co.,
{. w. Kent, Secretary.
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-08-10
See the Suit Cases at the FAMOUS.

a young man went TO a preacher to
get married, and the preacher asked,
How old are you, john He replied
Il I'M half MS old as my father. He is
-wo year older then my mother. nv
eldest sister is two year Older then my
Youngest sister. Ny younses, sister i,
four years older then my younges,
brother" How OLD are they alto
rether?' asked the preacher. Til,
young man replied that the fv,
children are seventeen years older tina,
Dis father and mother. Wow old is John
and each of the children, and his fathts
and mother
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-08-10

Mo son in-law of Thomas r. Townley;
ID. V. Cameron, a travelling salesman for
a Washington ven wholesale house,
and Fred W. F%riess, head waiter at
Harvey's lunchroom.
Thomas r. Townley testified that his
sons were wild and gambled, but that no
more serious crime had cver been
charged against either of them before
that he knew of.
He said when he visited Nicholas at
the hospital after the shooting, Nicholas
told him that he had struck Werner frs,
and that it was not Verner's fault.
~ am all to blame" he said, accord
ing to the father.
c. w. Burford, of California, Mo, the
brother-in.law, who is Clerk Of Moni.
teau County, made no statement on the
witness stand concerning the charge
made by Werner Townley that his
brother Nick had made insulting re-
marks about Burford $ wife and their
sister.
EYE WITNESSES TESTIFY.
Cameron, the sa' eman, and Friess. the
head waiter, SAID they were standing
near by when the assault occurred. The
testimony Of both was very nearly
identical.
"Nick Townley struck Werner Town
ley, they said, and then started to run
Werner ran after him a few feet. pulled
a revolver from his pocket and fired ont
shot. He then handed the revolver t.
Friess. The attack, they said, was pre-
coded by a few cross words between tn
men.
Mrs. Sarah Townley, since the dealt
Of her husband has been a patient at tn
City Hospital. Following the inquest
she was taken back there.
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-08-10

city hospital in. better condition than
expected, and Nick is reported to
have objected to prosecuting his
brother for the deed. During the
morning his condition changed for
the worse and he died before noon
Monday.
Mr.. Townley called at the four
courts and interviewed his o Nern-
er relative to the assault, but kept the
details to himself. From latest &C
counts of the tragic affair the quarrels
between the two brothers arose be-
cause of the dead brothers. hostile
demonstrations toward Verncr's wife
to whom he had made remarks re-
hecting on her character. while he
showed disposition to derlde his
sister, Mrs. Burford, in uncompli-
mcntary language. To these ex-
pressions Werner took exception and
resented them in his home, yet no
encounter took place until the quar-
rels were renewed at Union Station
| where the shooting took place.
On information received here Mon
day night that the victim OF the
shooting was dead, DR.. J. w. Boles,
a relative OF the family, went to st.
Louis. and after an inquest was held
and the body turned over to the
father, the corpse was shipped to this
city accompanied by DIR. Boles, ar
irving here early Wednesday morn
ing. The remains were taken tc
Kidwell & Spurlock's undertaking
establishment and at 10 O'Clock in
terment took place at the city GENE
terry.
The inquest was held Tuesday anc
the verdict reached was homicide
+. X. Townley, father of the two
brothers remained in St. Louis to ait
Werner in his defense.
The following from Wednesday
Republic gives the particulars whic|
came out before the Coroner's jury
Mrs. Sarah Townley, wife Of A. n
Townley, startled the C%oroner's jury b
declaring that the charge made agains
her husband in Fort Worth, Tex, tina
he had perjured himself, was a trumped
up charge, and that lie had never in hi
life abused or mistreated her in any wa,
She said Nick" did not knock he
down, but that she fell down.
; 1t was charged that Nicholas Townle
had abused his wife, and then perjure
himself by denying the charge i'll ii
trial that followed. He served TIM
OH the charge.
CORONER HOLDS SLAYER.
Other witnesses at the inquest Tue
day were Thomas z. Townley, fath'
of the Towniey boys, and ]. NJ. Townle,
q brother, G. W. Burford. Of Californi
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-08-10
STOMACH TROtBI rs AND CON
STIPAJlDN.

No one can reasonably hope for good
digestion when bowels are constipated
Mr.. Chas. Baldwin, of Ed~~ardsvlllc,
II, says: ~ suffered from chronic con
.,iptation and stomach troubles for sev,
E rdl years, bat, thanks to Cham berlain's
stomach and Liver Tablets, am almost
cured Why not get a package Of these
tablets and get well and stay well:
Price g cents. Samples free For sale
by Globe Drug Store {. - Hunter.
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-08-10

Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup is sold
under a positive guarantee to cure con.
stipation, sick headache, stomach trouble
or any form OF indigestion. II it fails,
the manufacturers refund your money
What more can any one do. ID. G. Hardy,
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-08-10
This Is Your Chance.

! want your junk. Will pay for Old
iron and cast per lOO. ..,......... .aOc
Rags per Soc
Old stove per 100 .............. 2Oc
Rubber boots and shoes per 100. ..S3.5O
Market price for Brass, Copper and
Zinc. Want any thing you have for sale
in the way of Country Produce, Chick
ems, Eggs, Roots, etc.
ID. e. HARDY
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-08-10
Don't Blame Me-!

1t is net my fault. ] have plenty
81 good tender Meats. and il you will
persist in eating old tough stuff, keep
1t yourself. &. n. MASON,
The Get There Butcher.
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-08-10
BETTER THAN THREE DOCTORS

Three years ago we had three doctors
with IL little boy and everything that
when all hope seemed to be gone we
begun using Chamberlain's Collie, Cho.
lera and Diarrhoea Remedy and in a few
hours he began to improve. Today he
is as healthy a child as parents could
wish for Mrs. b.. J%oHN.roN, Linton,
Miss. For sale by c. ID. Hunter.
Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-08-10

Chas. W. Kavanaugh the Abstracter
would like to write your deeds,
mortgages. contracts, etc,
The southern sentinel. (Winnfield, La.) 1883-1910, 1906-10-05
BUSINESS BAROMETER
Receipts at the Local Post
Office Show Which Way
Wind Blows.

The amount of business done
at a postoflice serves as Il reliable
Indicator of business conditions
in the community, Is much SO as
a bank statement. As a commu-
nifty builds up and becomes more
prosperous the receipts at the
postotii"c become larger.
As showing how conditions
have improved in Winfield by
reason of increase i'm business,
population and prosperity, a
statement of the gross receipts at
the postofiice is here given:
Receipts for the quarter ending
Sept. 80, 1905, s729.97; for the
quarter ending the same date this
year, Sl272.66; increase for quar-
ter, S544.69 or nearly 10 per
cent. Receipts for the month of
September, 1905, s2ll.50; for the
same month, 1906, s4S9.44: in
crease, $577.94, or nearly 1872 per
cent.
The southern sentinel. (Winnfield, La.) 1883-1910, 1906-10-05
How to Cure q Cold.

The question of how to cure a
cold without unnecessary loss of
time is one in which we are all
more or less interested. for the
quicker a cold is gotten rid of the
less the danger of pneumonia and
other serious diseases. Mr.. b.
w. l.. Hall, of Wayerly, Va, has
used Chamberlain Cough REM
edy for years and says: 81 firmly
believe Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy to be absolutely the best
preparation on the market for
colds. have recommended it to
my friends and they all aggree
with me-" For sale by Phoenix
Drug Store.
The southern sentinel. (Winnfield, La.) 1883-1910, 1906-10-05
HICKORY VALLEY NEWS
Several Marriages and Plenty
of Boil Weevils in
That Section.
Special to The Sentinel.

Special to The Sentinel.
Hickory Valley, La, Oct. L.
The inclemency of the weather.
Il wind storm of eight hours du
ration Thursday. five rains and Il
cool wave all i'm one week, cut no
ice with cupid, for his darts seem
to have struck with great pre-
cision sin Hickory Valley"
Yesterday Mr.. Quincy Spearman
and Miss Matte Riser were mar
ried at the residence of the
bride mother at 8 o'clock, a. M,
and Mr.. |. III. Willis and Miss
Ida Hlgdon were married at 3
o'clock p. IN. at the residence of
Mr.. J. w. Higdon, the father of
the bride: Another marriage was
reported some six miles "out of
town." but your correspondent
failed to get a card. Boil Wee
wills are pest, but these boys are
naughty.
Mr.. and Mrs. Monroe Taylor
of Winfield are out ut Hickory
Valley today visiting their grand
parents. Mr.. and Mrs. j. NJ.
Thornton.
The rain and wind for the past
few days have done much damage
to all kinds of crops especially to
cotton in the fields. The cotton
crop Is very short and Il few more
days like last Thursday will de-
stroy one half of the crop yet in
the fields. Much damage was
done to the acorns as there was
one-third of the crop blown off
by the wind.
| have just returned from a
trip through more than a hum
dred miles of good cotton land
and found the crops very sorry.
In most cases the boil weevils had
cut off the crop in August when
it would have made the best yield.
Mr.. j. b. Willis, farmer
of this neighborhood, reports
boil weevils in his cotton and to
convince himself that it was the
weevils doing the damage to his
cotton he "bottled up'a lot of
cotton forms and in u few days
the genuine weevils Matched out.
Many other farmers report their
cotton injured in the same way.
TRIxEY.
The southern sentinel. (Winnfield, La.) 1883-1910, 1906-10-05
Doctors Endorse Ii.

Hon. o. M. Grisham went up
the Louisiana and Arkansas Mon
day on q business mission.
The southern sentinel. (Winnfield, La.) 1883-1910, 1906-10-05
Danger From the Plague.

There's grave danger from the
plague of Coughs and Colds that
are so prevalent, unless you take
DR.. Kings New Discovery for
Consumption, Coughs and Colds.
Mrs. George Walls, of Forest
City, Me-, writes: "It's a God
send to people living in climates
where coughs and colds prevail.
| find it quickly ends them. 1t
prevents Pneumonia, cures La
Grippe. gives wonderful relief in
Asthma and Hay Fever, and
makes weak lungs strong enough
to ward off Consumption, Coughs
and Colds. SOC and 81. Guar
anteed by all druggists. Trial
bottle free.
The southern sentinel. (Winnfield, La.) 1883-1910, 1906-10-05
Strayed.

From my place about three
weeks ago, one red and white
spotted COW, about 5 years old,
marked crop and underbit in right
ear and two underbits in left
ear; has red unmarked calf with
her. Information leading to her
recovery will be literally re-
warded.
CT. f. KILLEN,
s21-3t Curry, La.
The southern sentinel. (Winnfield, La.) 1883-1910, 1906-10-05
Better Than Any Other.

Cuero, Tex, May %, 1905.
"Shlp one gross DIR. Menden-
halls Chill and Fever Cure.
We have been selling your Chill
Cure for four years and it gives
better general results than any
Chill Tonic we have ever sold. "
euro Drug Co, Sold by Honest
Druggists.
The southern sentinel. (Winnfield, La.) 1883-1910, 1906-10-05
NOTICE..
The Wrong Man With the Right
Place.

me wrong man with the kIgnt
Place.
A truck farm and vineyard for
sale. with 20 tons of fertilizer
ready for use another year; 800
bearing grape vines, 500 more
ready to put out; 500 peach,
apple. pear. plum and fig trees
and choice raspberries, all 3 years
old; broom house, l good we'll,
| good spring, cellar, cider mill,
etc., half mile from railroad sta
tion, six miles from town. Price
will suit purchaser. Apply at
at this Office or write Lock Box
23S, Winfield, La. s2S-5t
Doctors Endorse 1t.
Lang Bros, Druggists, Pad
ucah, KY, write: "We sell more
Of DR.. Mendenhall's Chill and
Fever Cure than all other rem
elies combined, having retailed
over 700 bottles in one season.
Physicians here prescribe it and
persons who once use it will have
no other. "Sold by Honest Drug
gists.
= =
Hon. O. M. Grisham went up
the Louisiana and Arkansas Mon
day on q business mission.
The southern sentinel. (Winnfield, La.) 1883-1910, 1906-10-05
A Young Mother at 70.


"My mother has suddenly been
made young at 20. Twenty years
of intense suffering from dyspep-
STA had entirely disabled her.
until six months ago, when she
began taking Electric Bitters,
which have completely cured her
and restored the strength and &C,
tivity she had in the prime of
life," writes Mrs. w. l.. Gilpat-
rick, of Danforth, Me. Greatest
restorative medicine on the globe.
Sets stomach, liver and kidneys
right, purifies the blood, and
cures malaria, billiousness and
weakness. Wonderful nerv
tonic. Price SOC. Guaranteed
by all druggists.
The southern sentinel. (Winnfield, La.) 1883-1910, 1906-10-05
For Sale.

One store house and lot; one B.
room residence and lot; one 4
room residence with large lot,
barn, servant house, garden,
good we'll and other improve
ments all new; one 2 LIZ Stude-
baker wagon, good as new. Will
sell any part. See w. o. Will
liams, Winfield, La. s2S.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1906-05-04
Lightning Rod SWindiers.

The lightnig-rod swindlers who
were reported in the Register last week
as having victimized persons in Fred
erick county, Va, also tried to oper
ate in Jefferson county. The method
of the rascals was to offer to put
lightning rods on house or barn at
very low price and get the farmer to
sign a contract. Later the contract"
showed up as promissory note for a
considerable amount. The two men re-
ferred to, one of whom was big, red
faced fellow, visited William &. Links
place about two miles south of Sbep-
herdstown, and offered to equip his
buildings for eighteen dollars. He de-
clined the offer, when they dropped to
ten dollars, and Urged him strenuous
ly to let them do the work at this low
price. At the same time they tried their
best to get him to sign a contract
which they presented, but Mr.. Link
thought it looked little fishy and re-
fused to have anything to do with
them. Since he has heard of the way
they swindled others he is very thank
full that he did not sign his name to the
papers. He is little sore, though, that
they ;picked him out as the easiest
man in the neighbour He thinks
they might have gone to George Coffin
berger or VIII Clapp or some of the
other fellows in the neighborhood. This
experience again illustrates the wisdom
of absolutely refusing to sign papers of
any sort presented by strangers. =
Shepherdstown Register
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1906-05-04
The Shah of Persia in Russia.

The Shah of Persia is a man OF
moods and his visits are not always
unmixed Joys at the courts he hon.
ors. On the occasion of his recent
stay In st. Petersburg his peculiari-
ties gave infinite trouble to the Rus
sian court officials. One OF his most
trying idiosyncracies is his habit Of
occasionally going to bed for twenty
four hours at a stretch, giving strict
orders that he Is not to be disturbed
under pain of death. More than once
the days selected were those on
which special festivities had been ar
ranged in his honor AS a matter of
fact his majesty, who is devoted to
children. preferred falf an hour with
the little grand duchesses to any
other entertainment, and won the
children's hearts by letting them play
with his exquisite collection OF dia-
monds and other precious stones.
which is said to be worth q kings
ransom.-London Taller.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1906-05-04
Origin Of st. Maurice.

st. Maurice in Switzerland is tho
name of a little station on the rail-
way that leads up the Rhone valley
from the lake of Geneva. The place
gets its name as follows: Maurice
was the officer, second in command
of the Thebaic legion, when the EN-
peror Macmillan marched over the
Alps in A. D. 500 to quell rising in
Gaul. At Octodurum (Martigny)
the legion. every man OF which was O
Christian. was ordered to sacrifice to
the Roman gods for the success of
the expedition. Headed by Maurice.
they refused, marched off to Agaun-
UNI (St. Mauricey. and there were
twice decimated TO enforce submits
sion. But they still refused, and fin
ally the remainder were surround
ed and cut down by the rest of the
army.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1906-05-04

At the storming of the Church Of
Pierre du Gros Gallon next day over
80 persons were seriously wounded
and so arrests were made. Three
thousand people filled the church
and resisted the police. The defend
ers outside blinded the attackers
with red pepper, and 1t was only AZ
ter firemen had mounted the roof
and flooded the interior that an en-
try was effected.
In the provinces opposition to the
than in Paris. In every case Of resist
ance numerous arrests were made.
and sentences OF Imprisonment on tho
demonstrants. including priests and
women, daily followed. At Postal
200 Catholics spent the night pre-
ceding the inventory in the church.
and were expelled by force next
morning by the police. At Montpel-
Ter the church doors were hacked to
pieces by soldiers to give entry to the
officials At Alencon the police had
to charge the crowd four times Pc
fore they could make their way into
the church. Similar scenes took
place in many other cities. and in
some cases the forces Of tho Govern
ment yielded and withdrew without
making inventories. but these cases
we're exceptions to the rule.
The whole trouble arises out ct
Article of the law of separation Of
Church and State, which runs:
After the PRONUNCIATION of the
of Lands will proceed to take inven-
tories of: CD The property, fixed
and movable, of the said cstabliyh-
ment (the church,; CD the prol~
erty Of the State, of the departments
and communes which the said es-
Establishments enjoy"
Article 35 provides that priests
who excite opposition to the exeou-
ton Of the law are liable to impris-
onment for from three months to
two years.
In the debate in the French
Chamber on February 1, 1905 the
Ministry evaded the main point
the handling by off1cials of the sa-
cred contents of the tabernacles.
But NJ Rouvier asserted that the
Government would carry out the
law whatever the difficulties. He
then obtained a vote of confidence,
but the continued disorder and irre-
conciliable attitude of the Govern
ment would appear to be the chief
cause Of the Governments defeat
The Minister of the Inferior wac
greatly to blame for the riots by rea-
son OF his order that the inventories
should be taken before the regula-
lions under the separation law were
finally drawn up. Catholics were
thus left uncertain about the event
ual fate of their property. But
throughout the Government showed
an implacable attitude, and for this
doubtless, 1t has suffered.