Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1906-04-13
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A2sE E1n

The OlQ Otorys- Dut' PoPo, he bAyu
he can't live without me-" Give US Z
new one; l told that same story to
ycur mother!"
The Automobile Fright.-Sidney-
Why don't you talk as we ride? Rod
ncy-Well! | can't think with my
balr standing on end.
No Escape.-Bell Boy (outside of
room 55)-Say, the gas Is escaping In
there. Countryman inside Of room
S,-No, 1t amt; locked the door.
A Vacuum.-A pupil in Lynn
Mass. school was asked by his teacher
TO give the definition Of vacuum
"I can't Just describe It," said he. but
have It In my head"
Wanted Clrcus.-The Child-Are
you the trained nurse mamma said
was coming? The Nurseries, dear;
I'm the trained nurse. The Child-Lets
see some Of your tricks.
Those Foreigners.-Doctor (after
careful examination)-Some foreign
substance is lodged in your eye. Den
nis-Oi knowed ut! Thot's what Oh
cit fr wurrukln' wild them Dagoes!
She Whistles.-An Irishman asked
Scotchman one day why railway
engine was called she" Sandy re-
piled: Perhaps it's on account Of the
horrible noise it makes when 1t tries
to whistle"
There She Blowsr'-On the voyage
a school Of whales was sighted, and
the millionaire plumber rubbed bis
hands In ecstasy. ''"hy is he 10
happy" asked passenger. Because"
whispered the captain, "he imaglnes
each spout is bursted water-pipe, to
be repaired at regular rates."
What He Hurt.-A well-known
Judge fell down fight Of stairs, re-
cording his passage by bump IN
e. cry step until he reached the bot
tom A servant ran to his assistance,
and, raising him up, said: Il hope
your honor is not hurtf" NO" said
the Judge, sternly, my honor is no:
burt, but my head is"
Not wonderful!-He pointed out to
newly arrived Paddy the grandeur Of
the Niagara, with the words, There,
nOw Isn't II wonderfulT "Wonther-
fuw replied Pat; whats wontherful"
"Why, to see all that water como
laundering over those rocks!" "Ot
can't see anything wontherful in that
what is there to hinder 1t from COM
lng over?"
Goals to le.-Wife-What ID
meant, John, by the phrase, carrying
Goals to NewcastleT Husband-It Is
metaphor, my dear, showing the do
Ing Of something that is unnecessary.
Wife-I don't exactly understand. Give
me an illustration-a familiar one.
Husband-Well, II I were to bring you
home book entitled, How to Talk
that would be carrying Goals to New
castle.
The Way out OF It.-When preaching
fer public charity, note was hand
ed up to the clergyman, asking II 1t
would be right for bankrupt to con-
tribute. Having answered that such
contribution would be robbery, the
speaker added: And. my brethren.
would most strongly advise you, who
are not insolvent, to contribute this
r,ornlng, since, II you are seen to pass
tue plate, your nelghbors will be sure
to say, That's he! That's the bank
rrptr"
Ee Walted.-"Supposlng you wait
here In this comfortable seat by the
elevator while match these two SAM
pies OF Ribbon" said Mrs. Mayfair
sweetly to her husband. who had been
entrapped into going shopping with
her. When she came back she said
contritely: Have I kept you waiting
an unpardonably long time, you poor
dear| "Oh, I haven't minded IT,"
he said, cheerfully. 81 just jumped on
car and ran out to the league grounds
and saw most Of the ball game, and
then | took little spin in the park
with Dorton In his new auto. Did
you match the samplesT "One Of
them. It's so provoking. I'll have to
come In again tomorrow, for they are
closing the store now"