Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1906-01-05
900
Short

A fine specimen of the Taurus hi
bernicus made its appearance in the
Bow Street Police Court recently.
''You ducked your head" said the
magistrate to Patrick Lane, who
charged Joseph Kavanagh with shoot
ing at him in the Strand. Faith, and
I did, your worship. It's better to he
a coward for five minutes than to be
dead all your lifetime.'
When the last Cleveland baby was
born, Mr.. Cleveland was asked about
the weight, which he gave as twelve
pounds. DR.. Bryant, who was present,
interrupted the eX-President to say
that the nurse had reported the young
hopeful to be an ~eight-pounder. "Well,'
said Mr.. Cleveland, II know, for I
weighed him with the same scales that
l use when l go fishing"
A so-called happy family" P. 7.
Barnum used to exhibit consisted of a
lion, a tiger, a bear, a wolf, and a
lamb, all penned together In n cage.
"Remarkable" a visitor said to Mr..
Barnum: remarkable, impressive, in
structive! And how long have these
animals dwelt together In this way|
Seven months,' Barnum answered,
'but the lamb has occasionally to be
renewed"
A man went into a drug store and
bought a bottle of some patent stuff,
which was advertised thus: mo More
Coughs. No More Colds. % Cents a
Bottle Three days later he went to
the druggist complaining that his
throat was stopped up, and that he
could scarcely breathe. 1--we drunk
all that patent cough MIXTURE" he said.
Drunk it," yelled the man; "why,
that's an India rubber solution to put
on the soles Of your boots"
"Who ever saw a perfect MANI
asked the revivalist. There is no such
thing. Every man has his faults, plen-
ty Of them" The r~evivalist continues:
who ever saw a perfect woman?" At
this uncture a tall, thin woman arose.
DO you e to say, madam the
evangelist asked, that you have seen
a perfect woman?' "Well, l can't just
say that I have seer her." the woman
replied, 'but l have heard a powerful
lot about her; she was my husbands
first wife,"
One day while in Vienna, Paganini
hired q cab to tai him from the con-
cert hall to his lodgings. When he
awoke the next morning he found the
cabman waiting for an Interview.
What is it," said Paganini. excel
lency. I come to solicit a favor of you.
1 am father of four children, and have
the honor to be your fellow-country-
man.. If you please, you can make my
fortune what do you mean:' "Au-
thorize me to write in large letters at
the back Of my vehicle these two
words: 'Paganlnl's Cab" The musi-
clan consented, and six months after
ward the cabman vas enjoying a COM
Portable income.
A traveller in a sparsely settled dis
trict in Missouri came at midnight to
a miserable little cottage. He knock
ed on the door to inquire for a place to
put up for the night. rs that you,
Tad?" came a gruf voice from within.
NO." said the traveller, "open the door
a minute, I want to ask you ONE
thing" The bolt was drawn, and a
man looked out sleepily into the dark
ness. 81 thought you was my boy,
Tad" he explained, "and, snip my
ears! here he Is now!' A barefoot
youth came painting out Of the shadow,
with his arms full Of shoes Of various
sizes and colors. Get any?" asked the
man. "Yissar. Seven Of 'em tonight,
and two of 'em is a pair" :Good!"
the man said. you see," he added,
turning to the traveller, Tad can make
q noise that sounds more natural like
a tomcat than any cat in this country.
He just goes into the village and yells
under the windows about this time in
the fall" "And you get shoes enough
for winter" the traveller finished.
Stranger" said the man, solemnly,
II can see you amt no fool"