davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

Never send a man on FOOLS errand.
90 yourself.-China, Glass and Lamps.
Advice to a broker: If you can't
bull the market. grin and bear it'll
Life
well, we've got the bosses up a
tree" "Have, eh?" "Betcher life"
Sure it amt plum tree?"-Brooklyn
Citizen.
HE said he occupied an important
post at the ceremony" "'Fwasn't a
post. 1t was a telegraph pole. >
Princeton Tiger.
Goodthynge- borrowed an
other $40 from me today. l wonder If
he thinks l am well to do? Cynicus-
No; easy.-San Francisco Call.
Fargone-How will your being sis
ter to me benefit me? Miss Flurter-
o, it will provide you with a good
many brothers! Brooklyn Eagle. =
Ethel rather like that young
Doubleday. He has a good firm mouth
and chin. Mrytle-Goodness! Has he
been kissing you, too?-London Tit
Bits.
Stella-I wonder why sentiment at
taches to first kiss? Bella-It's like
the first tooth; you've got to have it
before you get the second.-Brooklyn
Life
rs it not lovely when husband and
wife are always of the same opinion?
Certainly; only it makes such a great
difference whose opinion it is. Town
and Country.
Miss Ascum.-Is Freddy Fathedd
working for a living? Miss Trillion-
my, yesi The poor boy has been
trying for six months to gain papa !
consent.-New York Prss.
do you think your constituents en-
dorse your opinions on this billy" Il
hope not" answered Senator Sorghum.
II have done my best to keep them
from finding out what my opinions
re''-Washington Star.
Mrs. Greening-And what does this
statue represent? Mrs. Browning-That
is Psyche, executed in terra-eOtta. Mrs
Greening thingl But they are 50
barbarous in those South American
ntriesi-Cleveland Leader.
Mrs. Gusch-I like your husband
style very much. Mrs. Planeley-How
do you mean? Mrs. Gusch-He's such
4 quiet dresser. Mrs. Planeley-H Huh.
You should hear him sometimes when
be can't find his collar buttons
Philadelphia Ledger.
Mama-"W What is Willie crying
about? Jane Sure, ma'am, he want
ed to go across the street to Tommy
Browns Mama-Well, why don't You
let him 60? Jane-He says they re
havin' chafRdes, ma'am. an wasn'I
sure as he bad had SIN yst.-~W Washing.
kon Life.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11
What she Rememhered.

Nov Mrs. Jones" said the prose-
cutting attorney to the witness, will
you tell us what Mrs. Smith said just
before the shooting"
Mrs. Joaes-Oh, that was so long
ago that 1 can't remember what she
cid say. Bat she wore a plum-colored
ress, with a bolero coat and applique
IN the reyers. And she wore a tur-
ban hat with pompon On the left
side, and as / am under oath tell YOU
now that it was a fight. Her skirt
was made in seven cores with long
ilounce-
But here the prosecuting attorney
succeeded in breaking in on the line
Detroit Free Press
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11
Knox Was Obeyinr order.

Senator Knox's physician advised him
% give up smoking.a few days ago and
put him in the same class with Sena-
Tor Spooner, also smokeless after forty
fears of it. Senator Knox's physician
happened up at the Capitol and went
INTO the Senator's committee room TO
pass the time Of day. He found Knox
smoking a cigar. Here, Senator" he
said, Il thought / told you to quit
hat" ~Quit what9' asked Knox in
mild surprise. "ssghy. quit using to-
Dacco." Tobacco. yhy. my dear doc
Tor, I am not .usilg tobacco. I am
merely smoking a cigar Senator Dol.
tvey gave me-
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11
RENEE.

I've shot the chutes and bumped the bumps,
And also signed some notes for chGmpS,
Experience
And had the measles and the humps.
Experience.
I've hit the pike and loOped the loop.
And also foundered in the soup,
Experience
And had bronchitis and the Group,
Experience.
TO friends I've loaned my hard earned cash,
Tor breakfast | have eaten hash,
Experience
I've had the hives, the grip and rash,
Experience.
IN cable cars I've suffered jars,
And lodged a million autocars,
Experience
And through brick have witnessed stars
Experience
I've had lot of dopey dreams,
Seen up against great gold brick schemes
Experience
I've heard cracked sopranos screams
Experience.
I've heard lot of vaudeville.
And smoked cigars that made me Ill,
Experience
I've written verse-am at it still,
Experience.
Chicago Chronicle.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11
RUsHwHAoK1Ne IN RUSSIA?

st. Petersburg, Russia Bodeyne, q
member from Yaroslav, declared that
Parliament answer to the speech
from the Throne must make it clear
hat the Russian people will be salts
led with nothing less than full dem
,cratie constitution.
eff this is refused,'' he said, "Par-
lament will issue a manifesto sum-
noning the people to liberty or death.
Parliament must legalize the revolu"
ion."
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11
,corns such methods of bribery

In view of the satisfactory perform
lnces of H. NJ. S. Amethyst, cruiser
fitted with turbine propelling machin-
cry, and of a constantly increasing
number of such installations in vessels
of the merchant marine, the British
Admiralty has decided to adopt this
means of propulsion in all war ships
provided for by this years estimates.
Among the vessels to be laid down
this year are four armored ships; SC
squadron of turbine-propelled battle
ships will be afloat in less than three
years. 1t may not be very long, pre-
diets the Philadelphia Record, before
the reciprocating steam engine will b.
as out of date as the dodo, on shore al
well as on sea.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11
RaIfour in a BAD Wav.

Soon after being beaten at the re.
cent election, ex-Premier Balfour was
on the links with some friends.
One of his companions expressed
his sorrow that Mr. Balfour would not
have seat in Parliament.
TOO bad" agreed the former Prime
Minister. Il don't know what I'll do
new fer recreation frem eolg."-clsvs.
land Leader.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

A government bulletin just issued
says that the trade of the United
States with the Scandinavian coun-
tries, under which are included Swe-
den, Denmark and Norway. amounts
to thirty-two million dollars year,
of which six millions is imports from
and twenty-six millions exports to
those countries. These are the figures
for the fiscal year 1905.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

American education, asserts the Chris
tan Regis e., until il college life the
regimen is so strict that no luxury
will be allowed, ana only that which is
necessary for the full Development OF
body and mind is encoura ged.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

Professor ShaleT, OF Harvard, esti-
mates that the land still untitled will
admit Of the doubling of the present
population of the world and further
more that the reclamation of marshes
and deserts will permit Of another
douhlinp
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11
Killad of Hia Post

Memphis, Tenn.-Mr. A. Hughes,
car inspector on the Southern Rail-
way here was crushed to death under
a box car while examining the brakes
a switch engine backed into the car
killing him. He leaves a wife and two
sons.
Parkersburg, West Va.-As the
result of boiler explosion here today
six person we're injured, two probably
fatally.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

The new official cengGs of Germany
gives a population of over G0,000,000.
This is about one-half more than
France or Great Britain and Ireland
have and one-fourth less than the two
nations combined.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

The Denver Republican thinks that
all any man has to do who feels that he
is not getting a square deal from the
world is to "stand in the open and cry
his wrongs, and men will hear and be
quick to help him. right them"
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

A pretty war of skirts is being
fought out in small German town,
where a League Against the Trailing
Skirt has been formed with the sup
port of the Mayor, who has even gone
so far as to regulate in an edict the
length of the offending garment. 1t is
this last piece of municipal tyranny
that has aroused the long suffering
woman Of fashion, and she has formed
counter Union of the Liberty of
Dress. So far the league is in the
ascendant, for it has just dined the
Mayor trumphantly, while the union
Scorns such methods of bribery.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11
Americas coal resources, both

Americas coal resources, both an'
thracite and bituminous, are among
her greatest assets, and have contrib
uted more than any other single pro-
duct to make the United States the
leading industrial nation of the world.
1t needed 81 100000 tons of anthracite
to keep the wheels of American COM
merce spinning in 1905, while only ST.
100000 tons were needed in 1904.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

The Cosmopolitan, furthermore, has
just begun one of the most re-
markable exposes ever attempted by
contemporary magazine "The
Treason. of the Senate" by David
Graham Phillips.
1t will be strictly impossible, dur
ing this series, for US to insure news
stand purchasers a copy of the maya
zine, but,
We do guarantee that all readers
who have, under this special offer,
applied direct to the office for copies,
will receive regularly the magazine
during this brilliant series of articles.
Be sure to read this most scathing
of all political exposures.
We thoroughly believe that every
intelligent reader will not only take
but actually want the Cosmopolitan,
should he once see the magazine it.
self.
And that's why we offer three
months free trial at our expense. We
leave the decision entirely upon the
merit of the monthly.
IF you don t like the three month S
received you may stop the paper, and
the copies received won't cost you a
cent.
The offer is clear, plain, straightfor-
ward.
You are to be the only judge.
We are going to leave it all to your
decision.
Could anything be more fair?
Fill out today the coupon below
place in an envelope RENAL to US
and receive three months test free
But mail the coupon today-tomor-
row will never come.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11
Battlesh'p GROUND

Norfolk, Virginia The battle
ship Rhode Island is still hard
aground in the Chesapeake Bay. Three
naval tugs are unable to bulge her and
more tugs have been sent for. It is
feared that the vessels structure IS
badly strained in which case the dam.
age viii be heavy.
Actress Dies on Stage.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

Three months free trial for merely
sending your name.
No money,-no letter, nothing but
your address on the attached coupon.
If, after three months trial, you
wish to have the magazine stopped
merely tell us-and the copies received
will cost you nothing.
You are to be the exclusive judge.
And there1l be mo questions, no
quibbling, nothing.
Well leave the decision all to you.
If, after three months test, you
find you need the Cosmopolitan let us
send you the magazine for the full
year.
That's oil thara is ~ 1t
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

Vienna While Nine Marie Thes-
Ike was acting her part in play in a
small theatre hero she fell dead.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11
Cosmopolitan Magazine,
1889 Broadway New York.

accept your liberal offer of
three months free trial subscrip-
ton to the Cosmopolitan, as adj
vertised in the Herald Leakes
vile. If at the end of the three
months / do not like the magazine
I will let you know and have the
paper discontinued, under which
conditions, it is understood that
the copies received shall cost me
nothing Otherwise you may send :
me the Cosmopolitan for full
year and bill be at the regular
subscription price of only one dol
lar. Write plainly.
Name. .....s
Street. ). -. ....
City,. ...........
State. -. .........
Cosmopolitan Magazine,
1889 Broadway, New York
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

The following list of eminent con-
tributors taken from among hun
dred others will indicate the remark
ably high standard that will be main
tanned by the Cosmopolitan during
1906 Fiction: Sir Gilbert Parker,
Alfred Henry Lewis, Booth Tarking-
ton. Art: Frederic Remington, Henri
Lanos, Frank Verbeck. Special: Hen
ry Watterson, Edwin Markham, Ell
bert Hubbard.
No finer array of talent could pos
sibly be offered than the list of world
specialists named above.
Home magazine is the keynote to
the Cosmopolitan.
In no sense is the Cosmopolitan a
small, cheap, 16-page mail-order
monthly.
1t IS, to the contrary, a great 240-
page illustrated home magazine.
It's editorial policy aims at every
phase of clean, wholesome home life.
An abundance Of bright stories, full
of fun, life and action, will interest
every member of the family.
Topics of the day are treated sane
~, by experts Of international re-
pute- political reform, international
affairs, economics, social problems
and hundred other timely topics Of
which every intelligent man or wo-
man must be Informed.
The Cosmopolitan also affords UNI
usual advantages for the refining and
educative value of art Remington,
Lanos, Fogarty, yerbeck, are only a
few Of the masters represented.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

Remember though that in reading
the Cosmopolitan you are reading one
of the oldest high-class magazines
published today in America.
Such eminent and great men have
in the past contributed to the reputa-
ton of the Cosmopolitan as: Presi-
dent Roosevelt, Mark Twain, Presi-
dent Eliot, john Wanamaker, Count
Tolstoi, Henry Watterson, Jas. Whit
comb Riley, etc, etc, etc.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1906-05-11

That's all there is 10 1t.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1906-12-05
A SINGULAR MolIusk.

A singular light giving creature
peculiar to the waters of southern
California is the phyllirhoe, slug
gish mollusk. So plentiful are
these light giving denizens of the
deep along the Californian coast
that those who have undergone the
experience say night on these wa
tiers is awe inspiring. AS the boat
passes along one can see in the wa
tiers under it countless forms, pass
ing~and repassing, each giving forth
its strange, weird light. But beau
tiful and impressive as this strange
sight is to the beholder, the light
giving powers of these animals are
disastrous to themselves, since the
light emanating from them attracts
the attention of marauding fishes,
which seem to relish a light meal
at any time.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1906-12-05
Scored Against O'Connell.

An amusing incident is told of {
victory over Daniel O'Connell by g
witness whom he was cross examin-
ing. The witness was for the crown
and the case was a riot committed
by a crowd of beggars. O'Connell
was at that time well known, and it
was after he had received his So
briquet of ''the big beggar man."
The witness finished, and O'Con-
nell began the cross examination.
"Now tell the court just how many
beggars there were," he said.
Indeed, l did not stop to count
them, but there was a great tribe of
them, your honor"
GA whole tribe of them, eh? Will
you tell us to what tribe they be-
longed?"
'Indeed, your honor, that is more
than l can do, for 1 never heard,
but think it must have been to
the tribe of Dam"
"You may go down, sirl" said
O'Connell in a rage, amid the laugh
ter of the court.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1906-12-05
vermonters Hold a Merry Session

vcrmonterS hoIo merry SSSS'oH
From the Stockton (Calif.) Daily Rec
ord, OF recent date, we take the follow
ing, which will be of interest to many
Llmoille county people -
The home of Mr.. and Mrs. j. G. Thomp-
son, at 34S East jefferson street, was the
scene of merry gathering Saturday
night. About fifty persons were present,
the occasion being meeting of Vermont
els and a few outsiders, who were per-
mitted to minge with former residents
of the Green Mountain State and enjoy
the good things of the evening. 1t was a
regular old-time New England gathering,
and to one who has participated in many
just such happy functions, it was re-
mnder of Vermont and Vermont hospi-
taity.
During the evening games were played
and delicious refreshments were served.
1t was late when the party disbanded,
each and every one expressing their graft
fication at the success of the first gather
ing of Vermonters.
1t is expected that as a result of this
meeting "Vermont Society" will be
Formed in the near future.
Among those present were Mr.. am
Mrs. J. L. Hutchins, Mr.. and Mrs. C. M
Dodge, c. W. Danver, Mr.. and Mrs. N. L.
Brown, Guy, Ralph, Harry, Glenn and
Lottie Brown, B. L. Mudgett, Mr.. and
Mrs. j. e. Wells, Miss Ethel Wells, Mr..
Ind Mrs. A. H. Grimes, Mr.. and Mrs. M.
IL. Gibbs, Roland and Marguerite Gibbs
Mr.. and Mrs. J. V. Brown, Roger, Eta
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1906-12-05
Had Eggs Every Day.

The winter Of 1903 and 1904 was espe,
cially severe and you could hardly
blame hens if they didn't lay. Mrs. D.
P. Smith of Washington, VI. says she
has eggs every day. In her letter,
which follows, she tells how she brought
about these results: II write to inform
you of the excellent results obtained
from the use of Pages Poultry Food.
have twenty-seven hens. l have not
had sick fowl and nave had eggs
every day through the exceptionally
cold winter. can say that I cannot
afford to do without Pages Poultry
Food"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1906-12-05
Il. H. M'FARJAND.
+ C JOHNSON, woopMAkER

have rented the shop just below the Tit
Block on lower Main street and am prepared
to do OIL kinds of Woodworking An exper.
fence OF a life time. Work guaranteed. Trav.
eIse Sleds snd Farm Wagons making or re.
pairing a sp' rialty.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1906-12-05
Fresh EGGS In Winter,

The poultryman who can supply
fresh eggs in winter, when prices are
high, has tremendous advantage over
the one who through ignorance or neg.
lect has to wait till summer, when the
supply is large. Net every one can dc
this, and no one can do it unless he
takes proper care of his fowls and
gives them food containing the essen
tial egg producing ingredients which,
when running at large, they can supply
themselves TO a large extent in sum-
mer. There is no better substitute for
winter use than Pages Perfected
Poultry Food" III. e. Hathaway of
Farnham, Que, has used it. Read
what he says: Il have tried Pages
Perfected Poultry Food and think i'll
is the best l have ever SEEN"
Any one sending his address on al
postal card to c. S. Page, Hyde Park,
vt, and mentioning this paper, will re-
ceive by mail, free. postpaid. a sampled
package of Pages Perfected Poultry
Food"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1906-12-05
Fec and Foe.

In suit tried in Virginia town
young lawyer of limited expert
ence was addressing the jury on a
point of law when, good naturally,
he turned to the opposing counsel,
man Of much more experience
than himself, and asked:
"That's right, | believe, Colonel
Hopkins?"
Whereupon Hopkins, with a smile
Of conscious superiority, replied:
"Sir, [ have an office in Richmond
wherein [ shall be delighted to en-
Tighten you on any point Of law for
a consideration"
The youthful attorney, not in the
least abashed, took from his pocket
half dollar piece, which he offered
Colonel Hopkins, with the remark:
'No time like the present. Take
this, sir, tell us what you know and
give me the change" = Harper's
Weekly.
H., I, &c he
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1906-12-05
THE FIRST MESSAGE.
How a Woman Came to Send II Over
the Morse Telegraph Line.

In 1874, toward the close of the
session Of congress, Professor Sam.
uel Morse returned from Europe
and found that though his bill fol
the installation of the telegraph had
passed the house it still had to APP
pear in the senate.
He had reached the bottom of his
purse. There were only two days
Of the session left, and the inventor
found that there were over 40 bills
that had precedence over his.
The last night of the session
Morse remained until 8 o'clock, and
then, thoroughly disheartened, he
left without the slightest hope that
the bill would be passed. That
night he counted his money at the
hotel and found that after he had
paid his lodging and secured his
ticket to, New York he would have
just rs cents left. AS he was leav-
ing the hotel in the morning he
was told that a woman was waiting
n the parlor to see him. She was
Miss Annie Ellsworth, daughter Of
the commissioner of patents. She
had been one of his warmest friends
in Washington, and when he enter
ed the room she rose, extended her
hand and said, Il come to congratu-
late YOU"
''For what ?" asked Morse.
"On the passage of your BILL"
she replied.
"Snrely you must be Mistaken"
said tie inventor. ''I waited in the
senate until 8 o'clock last night,
and there was no prospect of its
being reached"
"Then [ am the first one to tell
you'll" she cried.
eyes, if it is So"
"Father waited until the adjourn
ment," she continued, "and heard
it passed"
Professor Morse was almost over
come. "Annie," he said, his voice
choking with emotion, "the first
that is sent from Washing
ton to Baltimore shall be sent from
you"
And it was. When the line was
completed Miss Ellsworth sent the
first message. 1t read, "What hath
God wrought"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1906-12-05
NAILS AND MAILING.
They Figure In Speech as Well as In
Trade and Building.

They Figure In Speech as Well as In
Trade and Building.
| To nail thing is to fix or fasten
with a nail or nails; to drive nails
into for the purpose of fastening. or
securing, such as to nail up a box,
to nail shelf to the wall, to nail
down the matches, ETC.; to stud with
nails; fguratiyely, to nail thing is
to pin it down and hold it fast, such
as to nail a bargain or secure by
prompt action. 1t was Burns who
said:
Ev'n ministers, they haze been ken'd,
In hsIy rapture,
A rousing Wild at times to vend
An nail t wi Scripture.
Passing into the colloquial, to-
'nail to the counter" is to put a
counterfeit coin ont of circulation
by fastening it with a nail to the.
counter of shop; hence, fguratiye-
ly, to expose as false
Other definitions referring to the
nail are; Mailer, one who nails, who
makes nails or who sells them,
while a female nailmaker is referred
to by Hugh Miller as a nailercss. A
nailery is described as an establish
ment where nails are made. A nail
head is the head of nail, and any
thing is said to be nal headed when
so shaped as to resemble the head
of a nail.
A mailing machine is one for fore
ing or driving nails into place; in
carpentry, a feeding tube for the
nails, connected with a plunger or
reciprocating hammer; in shoemak-
ing, power machine closely allied
to the shoe pegger, used to drive
small metallic nails or brads into
the soles of shoes.
The nail machine is a power ma
chine for making nails, spikes, brads
or tacks.
A nailmaker is one who makes
nails; a mailer, a person connected
in any capacity in the manufacture
of nails.
A nail plate is plate of metal
rolled to the proper thickness for
cutting into nails.
A nail rod is strip split or cut
from an iron plate to be made into
wrought nails. A nail selector is q
or an attachment to a nail
for automatically throw
ing out headless or otherwise Ill
formed nails and slivers.
A countersunk nail is one having
a cone shaped head like that of a
a cut nail, one made by a
nail machine, as distinguished from
a wrought or forged nail.
"On the nail' means on the spot
at once, Immediately, without de-
lay or postponement, as, to pay
money on the nail. This phrase is
said to have originated from the
custom of making payments, in the
exchange at Bristol, England, and
on the top of a pillar
called ''the nail"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1906-12-05

A good time now to renew your
subscription.