Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-01-08

levers simultaneously. There was a pom-pom explosion. and we came to a shuddering standstill in the middle of the road. The horse was dancing . hornpipe.
 My dear sir said the driver, sar. castically, which side of the road do you wish 60 take?"
 You have asked me the one ques. tion I can't answer, so make your choice and get by if you can, thank ing heaven"
 The man replied that I ought to be arrested. as 1 had been going at 20
 miles an hour. This remark de- pressed me, for thought had been going 90 miles an hour at the very least
 With much effort I lifted the front wheel round till the tricycle. faced the east again. It was like moving house. Then I attempted to pedal the machine home. but I might as well have gone astride a traction engine. l finally went for the coachman. and although he showed no real ardor in the job. we managed to worry the re luctant brute up the hill and into the front yard.
 My house is built on the top of a hill, and to the south of it lies a broad and very long terrace of smoothly shayen turf It at once Oc- cured to me that this billiard-table plateau was the ideal spot on which to tame the mechanical steed I had acquired. so I requested Rogers to assist me in getting it down there. Seated on garden chair, with the book of instructions in my hand and the tricycle. immediately before me, studied the construction of the thing with eyer-increasing intelligence.
 lonely lunch had been quickly dispatched. and I was out again on the lawn basking in the sunshine. listening to the birds, and reading some such romantic effusion as fol- lows:
 Push forward lever A, which opens the exhaust. This may be closed when full speed is attained. Advance B until sufficient air enters the valve. Set c at such an angle that vapor enough reaches y to form correct mix ture. D regulates the electric spark Care must be taken not to-" etc.
 Every now and then I thought I had 1t, and I sprang into the saddle: but the more I learned of theory the less my practice advanced. It seemed as if the monstrosity was sulking be. cause I had damned back all four levers at once when we met the horse The sun lowered in the west, and was just on the verge of success she had given bark and one kick for ward-when heard the crunch of wheels on the gravel. and an aston ished voice cried: <'
 Where on earth did that horror come from?" --~.
 This. Oh. this was trundled out here by friend of mine from Lon. don. He left il for me to practice on. How did the concert go?"
 "Exceflently. hope you don't intend to buy that thing?"
 TO buy it. I have no such inten. tion."
 This quite truthful evasion only re- tarded the electric spark (as the mo- tor book has it) for a short period. 7 I quite forgot that I had left my ck-book open on the library table, ! and that veracious volume gave me away the moment my women-folk en. tered the house
 The check-book divulged the full ' criminality of my conduct The two i ladies came out. sat down on lawn chairs. and made sarcastic remarks ] about my personal, appearance and the . attitudes I assumed in the saddle. saying that. although 1e might never be able to sell the machine. they were sure. if went on The stage. Paddy | Roosky could not compete with me. [ and thus we would get our money back
 One hind wheel was lacked up. and ! was in the saddle. pulling levers this way and that, pumping with my Feet all the time. The loose wheel in the air worked easier than when on the ground. Like a burst of fire works the thing went off The wheel rotated like mad. and our whole com. shuddered as if an esrtnquake were in active operation.
 Now work the levers till you un. 1erstahd them" advised Rogers.
 Alas. he let go the jack and it lrembled forward. The live wheel louched the earth. and on ve went Ike . bueking broncho in a cyclone.
 I have but a dazed recollection of what followed. I remember a scream rom one section Of my family. and ! yell of Turn, turn" from the ,ther. then the frantic internal ma 'hIne plunged down the bsrberry dope. and I was shot over the handle Jar head first into a dwarf pesr-trse
 Poets may write of the beauties of