Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-01-04
Man About Town.

2iit got OH the
Hadn't gone very far.
when she slipped and they heard her ss,,-
dummet.
Her sister from Port Alerapv
Hesembled the Goddess Diana
When crossing the street
Lost the use of her feet
ana the language she used was profane'a-
lovely young girl in Ridgway
"lth her lover went riding one dav
Ihey talked such nonsense
That the horse took offense
ana kicked them both out of the shay.
a beautiful girl in st. Marys
Ate pie made from newly canned cherrip.,
She swallowed the stones.
They were harder than bones
And now she wears heavenly Tiara's
jolly old man in Remove,
Never would out in the snow 90
One day he died
Went above to reside
But they told him that he mus, below on
There was young man in Lock Haven,
He was frugal and steady and sayin',
Hairs grew on his chin.
He drove them back in
And never spent money for Shawn,
= nho9 SdHcIum Christmas da.EE
looked ike department store. Tbs
edltor mas materially increased ht2,s
revenues by selling the duplicates.
May his many friends always keen
hlnl IN loving remembrance.
Watch the assets of theFirst National
Bank, published in the window daily
Notice how they rise the day after the
PRESS makes a deposit.
There is an old saying that "Hell is
paved with good resolutions Let's
get hold of one of those paving stones
and hold on to it.
Prof. Ericsson says some people have.
a great idea of making presents.
There are places in town where
Beetshoven Symphonies were given
ana they had no piano in the house.
Brother Elck says the twin girls eaI-
taik but he is the only one that cssrs
understand them.
Brother Pyle wore a summer necktie.
Christmas and has since been suffering:
with somewhat irritated throae
Brother Blinzler says an up.to. datE.,
shave or Wiskers refunded.
Pittsburg Phil. is slated to deliver a.
lecture some time this month before
| the window sill club. His subject
| The Land of the Muscovite or the Cos
sac, as he Is, is very we'll spoken OF Oy
the press of the country. He has been
a great traveller, camped in the shadow
of the Pyramids and one time rode III
an empty box car from Driftwood to-.
Dauguscahonda.
The editor of the PRESS has been on,
the dry dock the passed week. Ban
| quets and church suppers, where yoFN.
mlngle with cooking school cake aHG
riz.biscujts are not conclusive to longe--
| ivity.
The old is rung out,
| The new is rung in,
| The leaf is turned over
And now lets beg5n,
| The man About Town is minus tne>
narrative of a night robe, caused by
standing too close to q gas stove early
in the morning. The neighbors conl6
not tell by the odor of the cooking
meat whether it was veal or lamb.
Nose Minard rs the only man living
in Cameron county that knows the
exact spot where the bear slept in thF'
buckwheat. The knowledge may nof
be of any use to Nose, but it will he d,
valuable to his grand childrszIs,
Uncle Peter Beattie does not believe
in using profane language. Says ifbe
IS not one of the elect and does nos GO
to heaven, he hopes they will give him.
a place where he will not hear thte'
name of the Lord blasphemedl Ei5a,
says Plymoth Rock rooster, owned ~
one of his neighbors is troubled -JfsS1
insomnia. Every morning abor SSoriY
O'Clock he begins to crow to l05-peop3asa
know he can't sleep anG saad 2ar'a'
want any one else to. He says i'm
a Philadelphia hospital they have SET -
mans neck, and soon, in order to k5EsF
a man they will have to take him 300
miles from any physician G,ayrn him
through a thrashing machine. 2Sty
ilkes to see a baldheaded man, thipa Y.
1t shows polished intellect the Blb.&n.
| says ESau was hairy and didD,g
amount to much, while Elijah, Caesar.
! Aristotle and the Grand Duke Nicholas
VINO Is going to marry Princess AligF,
Roosevelt is bald. Says some people
dispute the Bible: he knew a gs-~
son who saw Ananias and Sapphir;a
carried into corner drug store Asss-.-
they mad been struck dead for lying
! lie says we often hear of man heiysS-
between the devil and the deep seq ana
thlnks II a man is too old to Fight Gre
ana don' know how to swim, and fonuT
hlmselt In that position he would he.
up against pretty hard propositioa,
lie says IN riding in the cars last snFr,.
ne saw in the end of the car a sign.
ladies saloon" and ladies were ga.rx-s
IN ana out quite frequently. Gn,s nt0,
Fellow sitting back of him remarked
somethlng mas got to be done to stof-
the liquor traffic in the cars. gave..
many OF his old friends that he knew In,
me long ago are gone, some he knew
Tor quarter and some for a five ag,,a
lar Dill, and If he had IL po,ss. 49,.