davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
The Knocker.

s- Is "a - ,ft ugf.4
The "Knocker" Is an offspring of.
failure and envy. He il an only child,
and like most "only" children, gener-
ally spoiled. He never reaches real
maturity. Success in others hurts him
like tight SHOE
When he grows up he goes into the
laundry business, and wherever he
goes, he carries with him a lot of soil
no property of his own, and being too,
poor to rent, he becomes a "poacher,"
making his headquarters in the offices
of other people. There he sets up his
tub, and stretches his line and remains
till you interrupts him with a polite in
vitatiOn to come again some time when
you are not so busy.
The "knocker always gets business
for the firm which doesn't pay his sal
airy. AS soon as his own firm finds
this out he is retired without notice
or pay. Nobody wants his company.
His employment is dangerous business
policy His words are without fruit.
No one places any confidence in even
the good things he says for they are
attributed to sinister motives.
He is a business fvandal, continually
tearing down without replacing any
thing better; an unwholesome creature
with a bad heart, and eyes that are
set SO close together that he can peep
through a keyhole with both Of them
at once. He can't look you In the eye
| for love Or money.
In the quadruped kingdom he would
be either 'hyena or a skunk-or a
cross breed Among the birds of the
air he would be cuckoo in DISPOSE
| ton, with a crows complexion, while
as reptile he would be a rattlesnake.
He docs" everybody, relatives includ-
ed. Relatives are usually his first vic
Tins. because they are decent enough
to place some confidence in him. He
| Is the one man who can perform that
|. wonderful contortionitic feat of getting
beneath himself. He is as dangerous
! to a community as leper let loose.
When you meet a "knocker," don't
patrOnize him. Don't listen to him
Hit him in the place where his brains
ought to be, and kick him where they
are. e. c. THURMAN.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
OUR GENERAL PROSPERITY.

North Dakota is not like many of
producing value of the soil is con-
cerned. The greater portion of the
country has the valuable parts so in
terspersed with the bad that in many
states SO much worthless land is pre-
sumed to go with Il certain amount of
good. In the south farmer speaks
his mountain land, the latter being
practically valueless. Yet no good
farm can be purchased without in
Guiding in such purchase large
amount of the worthless land. Land
sharks are flooding the west with cir
cllars Offering lands in the southern
dollars an acre and the bait SENS very
Turing until the land is seen. 1t will
be found upon investigation to be
mountain land which can not be Gull
tivated and which is too poor to pro-
duce pasturage even if stock could
Chamber over it to eat the heritage
after it has grown. There are sections
of the land in these old states which
are valuable, however These are the
river bottoms and the plateaus along
the foothills of the mountains, and
when the true value of the land is CIV
Ell to the world, the local geograph-
ical section must be specified. These
things are not true of North Dakota,
and that is one reason why people who
have never seen it are skeptical about
the universal value of the soil. There
is hardly a quarter in the entire state
that does not have large percentage
of productive land on it, and what is
not productive as tillable land is fully
as valuable for grazing and hay pur-
poses. While every part of the state
has some peculiar value that appeals
to the different people who come to it,
they are entirely artificial. One sec
tion-like the Red river valley-will
appeal to the man who desires home
surrounded with all the comforts of
the old settled community. Another
portion would appeal to the
man who desired to engage in stock
raising, while the newer portion would
appeal to the man who desired to Sc
cure large landed interests at low
prices and await the development of
the country for the greater realiza-
ton of a fortune. All these things are
to be found within the borders of the
state, and it is doubtful if they ex-
list SO generally in any other state in
the union. The entire state from the
Red river to the Missouri is destined
at no distant day to be hive of agri-
culturists reaping fortunes from the
soil, and will be dotted with with cit
les and towns rivalling those of Penn
sylvania, except that they will be CEN
tiers of wealth and comfort rather than
of poverty and misery, as is the case
in that state. Keeping North Dakota
eternally to the front, proclaiming its
wonderful advantages from the noun
tain tops and forever boosting with
the convincing logic of facts is all that
is needed to make it the greatest state
in the union. 1t is it's certain destiny
and those who help to bring about
the result will be the benefactors of
mankind.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
WHAT THEY SAY

Colonel Brown: II wish the Even
ing Times all the success in the world.
l believe that it has a legitimate field
and that it's success is assured. The
men backing it are hustlers and will
make it go. 1t will be credit to the
city and the state, if the first issues
are forerunners of what it is when
full grown.
Judge Sullivan: THE Evening
auspices-it is well equipped with
management and editorial ability and
the first issue pleases me very much.
l wish it all the success in the world.
l believe that there is plenty of room
for another newspaper in Grand
Forks"
George A. E. Finlayson: 81 am glad
that Grand Forks is to have an i'm
partial newspaper. believe that
there is a need of news medium in
Grand Forks which will give "a square
deal" to ALL The first issue prom
Uses much and l wish the new ven
ture great success"
Judge Mclaughlin: THE Evening
Times is all there with the news. The
first issues are up to high standard
and l hope things will be kept NOV
ing. Such an industry as the new
plant represents should be most well
come in Grand Forks"
E. J. Sullivan: The Evening Times
pleases me very much. 1t is live,
wide-awake newspaper and although
so young, it is a lusty kid and will
make its competitors go some to dis
lance it. | wish the new paper great
success"
Chief of Police Lowe: THE first is
sue of The Evening Times was sure
enough all right. 1t was we'll filled
with news and was interesting from
beginning to end. consider it
good start off,"
DIR. Fawcett: II congratulate The
Evening Times on it's suspicious be-
ginning. 1t evidently has able man
agement and an up-to-date editorial
Staff
States Attorney ]. B. Wineman:
THE Evening Times is all right. The
first isues are full of news and are
we'll arranged. The new paper prom
iseS much"
Judge Fisk: The Evening Times is
very creditable paper and am glad
to be included among its charter sub
scribers."
Frank Brown: 1.-The first issue of The
Evening Times looked good to me. 1t
had the new news and looked metro
politan.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
THURSDAY. JANUARY 4 l9O6s
A Jl[esher Jolshel.


Young Waldorf Astor told In New
York q story illustrative of theAb0und-
ing animal spirits of the Enklish9
guardman ss III d Z. & n N.
There was young subaltern Of,
high BIRTH" he said, who had rnusu-s
ally strong forearms and wrists. He
had the habit of slipping up behind,
Selling a mans coattails, and--zipp-
a quick, powerful jerk, and the coat
would be split clean up to the collar.
This Joke had been played so often
that, everybody knew 1t. At q country
to play joke myself on the strong
night In the smokeroon, placed my
back temptingly. knew he would be
unable to resist those coattails.
"He did not resist them. He seixed
them in his vise-like hands, and IN q
jiffy the trim shapely coat 1 was wear
ling hung like rag upon me, split up
the back in two halves.
"The subaltern, regarding his work,
laughed loud and long. When he was
done, said quietly:
81 slipped up to your room little
while ago, and this is your coat that
have on now"
While the board of county commits
sioners were waiting for the arrival of
a tardy member yesterday afternoon
they fell to telling stories Of early
days and experiences in'blizzards. One
OF the commissioners, it would be
cruel to mention names, told of an
experience which friend of his had
when the railroad ended at Fishers
Landing.
This friend and companion started
for the Landing with a corpse for
shipment east. They had some of he
"tanglefoot brand" along and amused
themselves by running the horses to
see fone could not gain block on
the other in quarter of mile. This
proved such prime sport that they
paid little heed to the increasing bliz-
card or he corpse until they arrived
at Fishers Landing when they found
themselves in binding snow storm
and minus the corpse.
Sorrowfully the retraced their steps
at the risk Of their lives and searched
long and diligently for the corpse 1t
was found at last. minus the covering
and buried in snow drift wi h one
hand prOtruding.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
- 81 T.
THIS DATE IN HISTORY

1695-Marshal Luxembourg died.
1717-Triple alliance formed by Eng
land, France and Holland.
1762-England declared war against
Spain.
17S4-Treaty between United States
and Great Britain signed.
1793-Alien bill passed in England.
1825-Ferdinand w., King of Naples
died.
1S2S-Fall of the Velille ministry
in France.
1843-Steven F. Mason, ex-governor
of Michigan died.
1S54-French and English fleets en-
tered the Black Sea on their way to
the Crimea.
1885-Archbishop Ryan, of Phila-
delphia, invested with his pallium.
1898-John D. Rockefeller donated
100000 to the University OF Chicago.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04

the first to demand a change. We re-
fuse, however, to Join in the cry of
fire" when there is no fire except in
the breasts of these new bosses"
whose business 1t seems to be to ex-
cite animosities by indulging in mis-
representation and by the dissemina-
ton of falsehood, and with disappoint-
ment, prejudice, jealousy and hatred
as basis, attempt to erect political
faction composed of few old party
derelects calling themselves republic
can leaders.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
COnSidpr0te.

There is an evangelist in Boston who
is SO devout that, so his friends aver,
he scarcely ever permits himself a
secular thought or his tongue a world
ly word
1t appears that this evangelist has a
very bright daughter, aged S. Not long
since she answered the doorbell, and
found there the iceman with bill.
Father is not at home" she said,
but If will come in you poor, perish
ing soul, perhaps mamma will pray for
YOU"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
Sentiment to Re Incu,cated.

Seht1mFht 10 he IhCuICHteu.
Let reverence of law be breathcd by
every mother to the lispng babe that
tho schools. seminnries and colleges;
let 1t be written in primers, spelling
books and almanacs; let it be preached
lative halls and enforced in courts of
5uctice; In short, let it become the
political religion of the nation"
Abraham Lincoln.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04

After reading Of the orgies that
took place at New York in celebration
of the adventof New Years one is
steadily inclined to believe the state
ment that the people of that city
drink million dollars worth of IL
quOrs every day.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
Two Views Of II.

A. well known theatrical manager
met a ministerial friend in New
New York the other day. When they
had last met the minister was sta
toned in a small town in Ohio. ION a
visit here?" asked the manager. "Oh,
no." replied the minister, l am here
permanently. Had call to large
church here. The work is more con-
genial and the salary is twice what
l received in Ohio" "And you regard
that as a cali?" asked the theatrical
man; lit looks to me more like a raise.
1t won't be long until one will be
able to notice the growing length of
ho Goxyc
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
No Christians Had Been Killed.

DR.. Thor Moeller who owns the
townsite of Nye on Lake Epsilon in
the Turtle Mountains, had, rather
amusing experience in that region re-
Gently.
While travelling through that region
on Sunday he stopped at a hut in
the heart of the forest and asked the
woman who responded to his halo
where her husband was
She replied that he was out hunting.
The doctor asked her II her husband
did not fear the Lord. Her reply was
that she guessed he did as he never
went out without taking his gun. DIR.
Moeller then asked IL there were any
Christians around there. She said she
did not know but that the skins Of
all the animals her husband had kill
ed for some time were behind the
house, and that he might look at them
and see. as she thought her husband
had killed about all the "varments"
there We're around. The doctor drop
ped so in the collection box the next
Sunday. and stipulated that 1t should
be applied to home mission work.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04

Disgraceful drinking bouts are re-
ported to have marked the passing of
the old year at New York, Chicago and
other places. Evidently the water
wagon ought to start the day before.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
An Occasional Renewal,

At dinner which George Harvey
gave in New York in honor of M. Witte
and Baron Rosen, a young Russian Of
officer was seated beside H. H. Rogers.
Il admire your country" said the
Russian, because it is SO peaceful. Po-
liticians, tinanciers, the laboring class
es, business men, ministers-all dwell
amicably together, one happy family"
Mr.. Rogers laughed
One happy family" he said. Yes,
such a happy family as P. T. Barnum,
our great Snowman used to exhibit.
This family consisted of lion, a
tiger. a bear, wolf and lamb, all
penned together in one cage.
Remarkable" a visitor said one day
to Mr.. Barnum. Remarkable, impress
sive, instructive. And how long have
these animals dwelt together in this
way?"
Seven MONTHS" Barnum answered;
but the lamb has occasionally to be
renewed"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04

Merely the suggestion that the
Standard Oil company is inclined to
show its claws in opposition to federal
interference will be enough to arouse
the fighting blood of President Roose-
velt-and then look out!
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
1t Might Have Been Worse.

.Your true humorist," said Jerome
K. Jerome, "sees humor everywhere.
Even at his own misfortunes, II their.
is humor in them, he laughs in a
hearty and unfeigned way. Let US all
cultivate this attitude, which / can
best illustrate with the story of Sidi
Ben Hassan.
"Sidi Ben Hassan lived in Bagdad
where he was noted for his thrift and
his geniality.
"One December day he was sum-
moned to the court of the caliph, a
place he had never visited before,
ground slippery and perilous, where it
behooved one to walk carefully.
THE caliph was not Christianized
yet he permitted all his subjects to
make him Christmas presents.
''The question was, what present
should Sidi take? If he took some
thing too costly and magnificent he
might be rebuked for presumption; If
he took something too cheap, he might
be rebuked for parsimony.
"Sidi thought this matter out care
fully and decided upon fine bunch of
bananas grown in his own garden
There were some superb bananas and
some superb cocoanuts. He chose fin
ally the former. These bananas in
due course, he presented to the caliph,
and, alas they failed to please.
THE caliph considered the gift an.
insult in its meanness, and in a voice
of thunder he ordered that the ba-
nanas every one be stuffed down Sidi's
throat.
so the poor fellow stood before the
caliph and all his train of courtiers
looking on in smiling interest, as the
bananas one by one were crammed
down Sidi's gullet Christmas morn
ing. At the eleventh Sidi, though
black in the face burst into loud
laughter.
why laughest thou, sirrah?" said
the caliph waving aside for the mo-
ment the banana administrator.
"Oh, sire,," Sidi cried I was just
thinking what good thing it was
didn't bring thee cocoanuts."
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
An Observing Youth,

At school. recently, the teacher ask
ed Lew Fields young son, Joseph. If
he could speak sentence containing
the word foregoing" Joseph promptly
gave the following: Last Saturday af-
ternoon went to papa's theater to see
1t Happened in Nordland.' Uncle
Charles Fields was standing at the
door. Three newspaper men came up
and shook hands with him. Then they
all walked away, and pretty soon /
saw the four going into the Dunmore
cafe" IA
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04

The young man who succeeds In
business is generally the one who is
not afraid to do little more than he
is paid for.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-04
Overlooked q Bet.

A New Yorker who, being rich, en-
,ploys man servant, said to his valet
one mornings. "Hoskin!" Sir" said
the man. You are getting careless,
Hoskin." 'Oh sir, hope not, sir
you don't brush my clothes regularly
any more" "Oh sir. assure you
There, Hoskin, that will do. l left a
dollar in white vest pocket yesterday
morning and-it is still there"
The Adair County news., 1906-07-04

not alarming, but on Thursday
slow paralysis took hold and with
in twenty-four hours he had pass
ed over the river. Mr.. Miller
was a candidate for the Demo
cratic nomination for Congress in
his district and had been actively
prosecuting his claims. He gain
ed distinction in the last legisla-
ture as a man of honest convic-
tions and will-power, and was re-
cognized as a leader. A brilliant,
honest. useful man has been TAX
en- in the prime of life, a severe
loss to that community, a loss to
the State and the great Demo-
crctic principles which he so ably
championed.
The Adair County news., 1906-07-04
SENATOR McCREARY ANNOUNCES.

To the Democats of Kentucky:
l have in various newspaper in
terviews declared my candidacy
for United States Senator, and l
now, over my own signature, SUBJ
NIT to you my candidacy for the
the nomination as United States
Senator according to the plan an
nounced by the Democratic Exec
utive Committee of Kentucky.
For the honor conferred upon
me in 1902, when was elected
United States Senator, am sin
cerely grateful. I have tried to
be faithful and efficient, and the
manner in which have discharg-
ed my Official duties / leave to the
unprejudiced judgment of the
people Of Kentucky.
have always been in favor
of primary elections, fairly and
legally held, and / have always
been opposed to bossism and ma
chine rule. When I was first a
candidate for United Senator the
other candidates and myself
agreed to a primary election to be
held two months before the cleo
ton of United States Senator by
the General Assembly, but the
State Democratic Commute did
not deem it best for the good of
the Democratic party, and refus-
ed to order the election.
The proposed primary election
is ordered to be held m any
months earlier than any primary
election to nominate either State
officers or United States Senator,
was ever held in Kentucky or any
other State. For many years pri-
maries or conventions in our
State to nominate State officials
have been held in May or June Of
the year in which the candidates
nominated were to be voted for
at the November election, and it
has been heretofore believed that
said primaries should not occur
when presidential or congression-
| al elections are held, so that Ma
The Adair County news., 1906-07-04

Humanity too often fails to see
the mud holes in the future while
enjoying the luxuries Of the good
old summer time, but by and by
face the proposition when power
less to change conditions. Now,
this month, is the time to start the
work in Adair County, and build
five miles of pike.
The Adair County news., 1906-07-04
ACARD.

Middlesboro, KY, June Is,
1906. TO the Democrats of Ken.
lucky: / am a candidate for the
Office of Superintendent of Pub
lie instruction of Kentucky, SUBJ
ject to the action of the Demo-
cratic primary, to be held Novem-
Der next.
In asking for this Office, I feel
that l have at least a fair claim
to the support of friends of ed.
ucat;on throughout the State, and
especially from that great body
of men and women who have SC
faithfully co-operated with me in
the recent struggles for educa.
tional legislation.
l have for many years past
done what | could to promote the
cause Of public education, and
have, during the past two years,
exerted every effort within my
power to secure a system of State
Normal Schools for the profes.
sional training of teachers, al
well as various other measures Of
Importance to our com m o I
schools. The success Of these eff
forts is now a matter Of RECORD
The Adair County news., 1906-07-04

The act of the General Assem-
bly, which was intended to pre-:
vent shipping of whisky into To-
cal option counties became a law
June 18th, and after seeing its
effect for twenty days, we are
convinced that it is success be-
yond the hopes of it's strongest
advocates. This law should, in
honor of it's author, be called the
Mitchell Law" because our
neighbor and friend, Hon. ]. M.
Mitchell, the representative from
Green and Taylor counties, in
troduced and procured its pass
age. Many important laws were
enacted during the last session,
but none are so important to the
well being Of society in Adair,
Green, Taylor and other local OPP
ton counties, as the Mitchell
Law" The citizens of Green
and Taylor, irrespective Of poll
tics, should reflect Mr.. Mitchell
to the Legislature. Truly he is
the representative Of the people.
The Adair County news., 1906-07-04
the statute books of Ken

on the statute books of Ken
lucky.
If my services in behalf of the
common schools of the State have
been such. as to commend me to
favorable consideration for this
high and responsible office, l
shall be glad to receive the hearty
support of all good citizens who
believe in educational progress
and in a system Of education that
will give a square deal to the
children"
If nominated and selected l
shall stand firmly and persistent
ly for
First-Better schools and bet
ter trained teachers.
Second = Better schoolhouses
and better equipment.
Third Longer terms and larg-
er salaries.
Fourth Local support and
compulsory attendance.
Fifth-A common school sys-
tenn of which every citizen will
be justly proud.
NO PARTISAN POLITICS.
l shall also continue to strive in
the future, as l have in the past,
to eliminate partisan politics,
sectarianism a n d personalities
from our public schools; to unity
all our educational interests, from
the country school to the univer-
sity, into one strong, harmonious
factor for good, and to elevate
the work Of teaching to the dig
nifty of a profession, with COM
pensation commensurate with it's
requirements and it's obligations.
Earnestly soliciting the sup
port and cooperation of all pub
lic-spirited citizens and friends
of education, and promising a
faithful, earnest and active adj
ministration of the duties with
which l ask to be intrusted, l am
very respectfully,
M. O. WINFREY.