davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
BALLADE OF FAMILY NAMES

Change Is the order in mans estate. OIL
Times have changed and the customs,
too
Everything now must he up TO date,
Things oid-fashionod will never do.
Even the names that our fathers knew.
Jonas. Zachary, Zehcdee-
Fashions adjures us we eschew.
What will the names of tomorrow be?
Patronymics with frills ornate,
Out of the roots of the old names grew.
Kathryn" cooed in the arms of Kate
Hugo" lisped at the knees of Hugh
Nursery walls of the wealthy few
Rang with titles OF high degree,
All efecting the blood that's blue
What will the names of tomorrow be?
Greater changes have come of late;
Even these new names fade from view,
Wife and husband no more debate
Titles fitting their infant crew.
Even the infants lie perdue.
"Fido,' Rover and 'TiGe'-ah. me,
These are the names that the maids hal
What will the names Of tomorrow be
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
HE WAS ON; SO WAS THE FLY,

A story rs going the rounds of Wall
street about a bet which a certain broker
made on a dull day before the recent bull
movement began. He was sitting In his
ofice shooting flies when an idea struck
him, Grabbing quickly he captured one
Of them and daubing n little mucilage on
a piece of paper let the ny's legs dangle
In it. Then mounting a chair he placed
the fly carefully on the wall. Pretty soon
a broker friend came in.
lingo, but this is dull" said the owner
of the office. stretching himself and yawn-
ing. "If it wasn't for the flies I would
go to sleep"
But. say" he remarked. Frightening
up, I'm tell you what I'll do. See that
fly over there o N the wall. I'll bet you
500 1t doesn't move in five minutes"
You're on said Broker No. 2, looking
around at the other flies buzzing merrily
He settled.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
HOT STUFF.

There are shoe men still in bush
in Vermont and New Hampshire
remember Frank Sleeper, shoe salesr
Happy Frank" he was called. Ls
lord Asa Barron will also be rcmcmb.
at the Junction house, White River ],
ton.
Sleeper arrived oGe night. tired,
and hungry. The landlord took him
the side room and found the fluid nee
One returned to the office; the o
stopped To put away the glasses.
When Mr.. Barron reached the Office
was very much surprised to see Sle'
taking off his shoes. He looked IN v
der for a minute. and then said: "N
in thunder Is the matter. Frank"
Frank looked up in his quiet way,
said; Il don't mind much about
insides, Asa. they will get well; but Il
are new shoes, and I don't want to
them-they cost too much"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
THE LATE JULIAN SCOTT.

To the Editor Of the Burlington Free
Press:
You editorial Of August % in rela-
ton to an article in the Vermonter
magazine giving a history Of Julian
Scott, the artist, contained several in
accuracies. Julian Scott was born in
Johnson in 1874. He was not a drum
mer but a fifer. l was born in the
same year, there being about ten days
difference in our ages, n was drum
mer in the same ompany Company r.
OF the Third Vermont regiment. We
were is years of age at the time of the
engagement at Lees Hill, Virginia, in
1862. We both assisted the wounded
across Warwick Creek, Scott going to
the assistance of John Bacchum while
l attempted to assist Frank Thomas,
who died, however, before reaching
the other side. When I overlook
Scott he had left Bacchum, whom I
then assisted. l do not remember the
name of the other man whom Scott
assisted. He did not carry them on
his back. Bacchum weighed nearly
200 pounds and the other was too large
a man for him to carry. He never
carried a musket in the ranks. He
was discharged in April, 1863, and I in
July. 1864.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
SOME OF CANDIDATE CLEMENTS
"HAW BUCKS"
From the Rutland News.)

rum ti' Nutlduu .Nt"S.J
The News once more calls the attention
of its readers to the patriotic. statesman
like words of =. w. Clement. In some of
his public speeches. We quote the words
from the official report in Mr.. Clements
OWL newspaper: The old Senator holds
up one end of the yoke. waves the bow
and says c~ommandingly, Haw Buck come
under
All the voters should read and consider
these words of Candidate Clement, for
there is no better way to take a mans
measure than by his carefully prepared
thoughts put into words and then sent
broadcast in cold type. This. along with
many other similar nuggets of wisdom
contained in his public addresses are a
true measure of Mr.. Clements greatness.
of his patriotism and his fitness to be a
leader of men.
Now that Mr.. Clement has introduced
the subject Of Haw Buck, let us for a
moment look into some of Mr.. Clements
own Haw Bucks:
Who said Haw Buck to ~ voters of the
town of Shrewsbury in 1902 when Mr..
Clement made his first bow? Candidate
Clement.
Who said Haw Buck to n republican
convention in 1902 when they refused to
haw buck? Candidate Clement.
Who said. in 1902. Haw Buck to the
License Local Option party? Candidate
| Clement.
Who. shortly after. said Haw Buck to
the democratic convention and they re-
fused to be haw bucked? Candidate Glenn
ent.
Who tried. in 1904. to Haw Buck him
self back into the Republican party by
subscribing 800. which he never paid.
into the campaign fund? Candidate Glenn
ent.
Who said Haw Buck to the Republican
party in 1906 when responses were not
so very numerous? Candidate Clement.
Who said Haw Buck to the Bennington
draft? Candidate Clement.
who said Haw Buck to the Democratic
party In 1906 in convention assembled
Candidate Clement.
Who has been saying Haw Buck to the
democrats ever since? Cardidate Clement,
Who said Haw Buck to Mayor James
T.. Burke of Burlington and he haw
bucked although he beloved and paved
the earth? Candidate Clement.
Who Haw Bucked delegates into his In
dependent convention without caucus or
consultation with the people? Candidate
Clement.
Who Haw Bucked II. /. Hindley and
F.. J. Hall into the craftsmanship of the
two important committees at the Glenn
emit convention? Candidate Clement.
Who tried and failed to Haw Buck
republican leaders in all sections Of the
State who were with him four years ago
under his present fusion yoke? Candidate
Clement.
Who is whispering Haw Buck to the
labor unions with doubtful success? Can
didate Clement.
Who tried TO Haw Buck the Rutland
county democratic convention and the,
bucked and are still bucking? Candidate
Clement.
Who is trying, might and main, by the
long trail OF a Shiny bureau. by false
newspaper reports and personal endeavol
on the pla~tform-with n negro minister
to attract the crowd-to Haw Buck thu
people? Candidate Clement.
who are there in Vermont that Candi'
date Clement cannot Haw Buck? The
people.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
A MODERN INSTINCT.

He started life n workingman
And labored hard each day.
His little wife was quick to plan
And helped him on his way.
His little wife did wash and scrub;
And when her beauty fed
She little cared, SO long as hub
Was forging right ahead.s
His boarded treasure grew and gre
He handled it with care
And soon became, as all men knew
a multimillionaire.
And then his lawyers came and tolt
His wife that she must GO.
They handed her some bonds and &c
And left her to her woe.
Fol he was tired TO reach the pith]
OF this poor faded pearl
And wanted to replace her with
A painted chorus girl.
This fellows case Is not so rare;
His is a growing clan.
To-day he's but a millionaire
He used to be a man.
louisville Courier-Journ
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
KATYDIDS.

In the night there is 10 place mute
No leaf without fiddle or flute:
Like trumpet and cymbal crash
Is the rhythmic katydid-clash
I grieve as the low fog grieves-.
Hear it's drip of tears on the leave
But out OF the sorrowful miss
The brave tree-people insist:
BE alive, alive. and rejoice,
Attend to the night. Her voice:
The mist is not tears, and harki
The laugh of the wide, safe dark"
Thus, under the creeping mist
The wise tree-people insist;
With trumpet and cymbal crash'
The joyful katydid-clash.
Georgia Wood Pangborn in Colli'
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
LETTERS FROM THE PEOPLE.
A Correspondent shows That Vermont
Farms Are Not Retrograding.


Farms Are Not Retrograding.
10 the Editor Of the Free Press:
Tho cxcitements Of politics is liable 10
lead 10 ~cxtravagant statements. and this
campaign shows II plainly.
Mr.. and his speakers are all
wrong when they claim that Vermont
Is retrogradins or growing poorer. They
know better. We all know better. Since
1873 / have had charge OF the land rec
ords OF Charlotte. This means that !
have been in n position to know the 1nan-
cial standing Of this co1nmunity-and dc
know It thoroughly. Charlotte is as
prosperous today as in any period Of It's
history. Perhaps It costs us more in the
way Of taxes than II used to-and why
not? We all spend more as private citi.
Gems. Our public buildings are better:
our roads are better. The reports Of our
savings banks and trust companies show
n condition OF things that no amount of
sophistry can 40 away. The successful
business OF our transportation companies.
both by land and water, show that we
are n prosperous people. We. as a town,
as n State, take better care OF our un-
fortunate poor and insane than at any
other period In our history. We, as 9
town. as a State, are doing more for
education than ever before. We are not
tied to posts" We are marching on
Every taxpayer warts our marching &c
he attended with seasonable economy
We shall Insist upon that. While so in
sisting, We have confidence in the men
who have been nominated as State on
cials. Having this confidence, We shall
elect them with our usual maiorities.
W. W. HIGBEE.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
BILL THAT BROUGHT RELIEF.

a few years ago n dear old lady, who
formerly lived in Ipswich, and was a rela-
tive of the poet. Whittier. had occasion
TO go on a journey which necessitated n
nights ride in a sleeping car. Being sub
ject to attacks of acute indigestion. She
took the prccaution to place a few leaves
of the commercial mustard plaster in her
handbag.
During the night pains, either real or
ina ginary, warned her of trouble and pre-
vented sleep. Deciding upon the applica-
ton of a plaster, she reached, in the dark
for the handbag, and, having secured it,
proceeded to put one of the leaves where
It would do the most good. and immedi-
ately felt comforted and enjoyed a re-
freshing sleep until morning.
Upon removing the plaster, what was
her astonishment to find that It was a $40
bank note which had brought such speedy
relief.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
EVERYBODY TALKS FOR PROCTOR

During the closing days Of the State
campaign it has become continually more
manifest that Fletcher n. Proctor will
receive n handsome endorsement at the
polls next Tuesday. During his visit to
different parts of the State the people
have had abundant opportunity to dis
cover for themselves that what has been
said in the newspapers about his good
sound sense. his democratic ways. his pro-
gressive ideas and his practical pro-
gramme for the handling OF the AFFAIRS of
our commonwealth. Is true, and they have
generally become convinced that he is
the man for the governorship.
Many of our good democratic friends
have decided that their fellow democrats
who early declared their intention to vote
for Proctor, were warranted under the
circumstance in taking that position and
will act accordingly, while not a few
democrats who will follow the lead
of their party into Clements camp,
openly admit that there is no hope
Of defeating Proctor. Even Clement and
his arrant assistants are making votes
daily for the republican candidate for
governor.
In short it is no ~exaggeration to say
that, Everybody Talks for Proctor.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
WILT A

He used to he a happy man
With smooth and lofty brow;
They put him up fur office. an
You ought to see him now!
He has a skeery sort o. look
An his remarks so pat
Sound like he read EN- in n book
A no count book AT that!
His is a life that irritates
His trouble ~ ends,
A-shakin' hands with folks he ha
An turnin' down his friends.
He meant to make reform his pla
But couldn't find jes' how.
He used to be a happy man,
You ought to see him now,
From the Washington S
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
Yours respectfully,
II. G.. THOMAS.
Stowe, August %.

The roster of the Third Regiment.
printed in the Adjutant-General's Re-
port, gives the age of Julian Scott at
the time of his enlistment, June /, 1861,
as 16, which was doubtless the age
stated in his enlistment paper as OBJ
tanned from his own statement at the
time. The account of SCOTS part In
the affair at Lees Hill. in vermont in
the Civil War" says that young Scott
carried John Backum across the river
on his back, and returning helped
Ephraim Brown, (who was disabled by
a shot through his thigh over, each
being larger than himself. This and
the statement hat Scott subsequently
carried a musket for a time in the
ranks. was obtained from Mr.. Scott
himself by the historian, who knew
the artist well.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30

Hoke Smith was in President Cleveland's
a modern democrat in the campaign he is
making for the governorship of Georgia.
He has made the negro a paramount issue
by an overwhelming majority In the party
primaries. Under the circumstances his
nomination must be regarded as eQuiva-
lent to an election by the regulation
Georgia majority.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

What is loahng in others is resting when
we do ii ourselves.
People can have a fine trip abroad
thinking how glad they will be to get
home again.
A man will lie about the money he
makes, Just as a woman will about the
beaus She had.
II n woman cam find any comfort
about her husband she will say he Is
a good Christian.
The family wash ranks with pedigrees
In determining the social Importance OF
ones neighbors.-New York Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
WELL QUALIFIED.

Mark Twain has handed out a
about a physician friend of his who
long ago had to ngage a new chauf
A big strapping fellow applied and
questioned as to his techUical ability
size and strength appearing wholly S
factory. What is the first thing
do when you find that your carburet
out of order?' asked the doctor. ''
7 tell ye.' replied the applicant. II
estly don't have no trouble wi
1t gets out of order. | amt
sick one day for the last two years
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
NATURALLY,

Two 1rishmen. much disturbed for the
future of this country, were recently dis
.cussing the matter, when one of them
observed.
81 tell YOU. Carroll. thin furriners Is
gettin' ar awful hold in the United
States"
"Ye say true" assonted the second Celt.
"Why. | was readin' over the list of min
.naturalized be the circuit court yesterday,
an livery wan of thin was furrln."-Har-
per's Weekly
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
Baked.

Doctor asked the caller with the
" inlamed eye, what will 1t co
take this grain of sand out of my
Il shall probably have to charge !
for the operation" said the en-
oculist.
II can carry it cheaper than that
Joined the other, turing on his hee
walking out.
Thus, owing to the greed of both
ties. another prospective deal In re
tate came to naught,-Chicago Trib
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
NOT MERELY FULL BUT OVER
LOADED.

Lawyer-What is your full name?
Witness-K. X. X. Karl Benson.
Lawyer-What do all the ks stand
for? '
Witness-Nothing-the minister who
Iehvistcned ma NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Tran
script.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
CLEMENT NAILED TO HIS "POsT."

P. W. Clements chief stock In the
figures tending to show that Vermont has
been standing still, or according to his
department Of publicity, "hitched to a
post II this were true, II would not
ment was made up Of fools or knaves, as
he would have the public believe. but 1t
Is not true. Clement has simply been
banking on our worn out or abandoned
hill farms and asking the people to jump
to the illogical conclusion that the State
is going to the dogs because of republi-
can rule.
Reference to the facts and figures in the
case. however. will serve to prove con-
cluslvely that when Clement asserts that
vermont's material interests have been
standing still he Is either Intentionally
misleading the people OF the State or he
is woefully ignorant OF the true situation
and is hardly qualified to manage inter
ests OF which he knows so little.
The figures on which taxation in the
State is based ought to be fully as re-
liable and conclusive rs the figures that
the Clement bureau has trumped up. The
returns are made annually to the secre-
tary Of State from the different towns SC
that they are official.
These figures. printed annually in Wal
Sr~,'e v,ar bia r4aI4, an,
consult for himself, show that from 1885,
down to the present time, Clements blue
period" there was a gratifying increase
in wealth in our State, including real
estate.
The summary follows:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
ANECDOTE OF JULIUS CAESAR
(From Puck,)

Once more the Senate pressed abb
Caesar, offering him the crown, and OF
more he thrust It away.
A voice-"All hall" Everybody hail
violently.
x voice-"Now, Julius. If We hail, )
ought to be willing to reign"
This was a. years y. c.. or about
from the foundation of the city, yet
joke was deemed too ancient, even III
to be spread upon the official minutes
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
POSTED.

"Can you repeat the Declaration OF
Independence" she asked.
Il used to be able to-" he replied,
"but about all ! remember OF it now
is, TO be or not to be-that Is the ques-
.tion.' Judge
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30

BURLINGTON, THURSDAY, AUG. 30.
WANTED.

When you want anything. advertise
in the new special column Of this paper.
Some bargains are offered there this
week which It will pay you to read
about. See page two. This pape has
about. See page two. This paper has
them all.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30

As a rule we allow our n%eighbors to
criticiee the neighborhood without APP
parent resentment, but If an outsider
should come in and talk about YER
mont as Percival w. Clement has talk
get kicked out of any grocery store
in the State.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
The nina follows
Increase s S. 8 $3.50 ,as. 1872, ISL 81 ,77l,7l

In other words during the precise
period discussed by the democratic cam
didate for governor. our personal prop
erty almost trebled in value, while the
value Of our total acreage of real estate
advanced so per cent, and our total
valuation practically doubled.
These figures utterly rout the hltchlng
post claim Of the democratic candidate
who IN descrediting Vermont in every
possible way In his desperate efforts 70
capture tho governOrship.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
THE POLITICAL PYRAMIDS.

The Democratic campaign speakers
and particularly the democratic candidate
for governor are pointing to increased cx-
penses in the conduct Of our State gov
eminent from year % year and asking
tho people to jump to the conclusion, that
there has been graft and extravagance
ignoring the many new institutions and
benefits growing out OF the increased ex-
pes,diture like the soldiers home, the
State laboratory, the substitution OF
State care for the insane in place Of
former town support, and other sources
OF increa sed expense.
Moreover the Democratic literary
bureau has put out a poster with red
letters and figures showing the
of expenses for the past quarter of a
century, which is referred to as the
red pyramid" and this is pointed to as
proof Of the iniquity of the republican
State government.
Now. logic which applies to The State
government in this way ought to apply
to a city government with equal force.
Let us build a little pyramid relating to
Burlington fnances First let us take
the bonded debt as It stood at the be-
ginning Of our municipal democratic ad-
ministration and as It stood at the
beginning Of the present year as shown
by the city reports:-
Year. Bonded Sinking Net Bonded
Debt. Fund. Debt.
1906 E. ......$ $1,000 0 Successes $759, O61. A.
1904 go. go. 6S7.o 900 y5,S7S.1S sol. 121.S
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30

Milwaukee and St. Louis are engaged
in a bitter quarrel over the temperature
of their respective products OF beer. There
is altogether too much froth on this sub
ject.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
UP THE BACK.

Wife-When we were engaged you loved
to tie up my slipper.
Husband-Well. why in thunder can'l
you have your clothes fastcn the same
yay?--N. Y. Sun.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
KNEW THE OLD MAN.

Geraldine-My father was once a
Gerald-I'n bet he handed down
cislons with both feet.-The Bohemi'
July.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
I'ENNOY.

Man, it's sad, but alas. it's true,
Fashions killing your family tree.
II but a little bark's left to you
What will the names of tomorrow be
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
Increase ..s1s3, 900 SIS, Uo.i sl67, g39. co

Increase ..s1s3.oO s15,Bo.io s1s7, 1886
In other words our bonded indebtedness
increased almost 30 per cent in two years.
Mayor Burke is often speaking from
the same platform with Mr.. Clement in
the present campaign. and is shouting
graft. Would he be willing to have the
Democratic method of using figures and
logic applied to his own administration
and have conclusions drawn similar &c
those Mr.. Clement is trying to have the
voters draw with reference to State ex-
penses?
Let us construct another political pyra-
mid from figures involving municipal cx-
penses in Burlington during the last year
of republican administration and during
the last full wear of Mayor Burke's adj
ministration as regards these important
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-08-30
apartment
Increase sG,3ls.39 s 5,S5s.@ 2,l1l.s

increase G,3IS.W 5 3,SS.U ) Ollie
In other words the expenses of the
police department increased during the
past three years nearly 60 per cent, the
pauper department about 30 per cent and
the fire department about 10 per cent.
When Mr.. Clement quotes increase in
State expenses as proof of republican
graft or extravaganza, would Mr.. Burke,
speaking from the same platform, be
willing to apply the same reasoning to
his own administration?
Let us be fair In our consideration Of
political issues.