davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
Cheaper Gas for Washington.

Mr.. Gallinger, chairman Of the Senate
Committee on the District Of Column
bia. reported the SO-cent gas bill adj
versely last session because the people
Of Washington showed no interest in it."
He tells us so. Only three or four citi-
Zens appeared before the Board Of Dis
trict Commissioners TO advocate the
measure. The merits of the proposition
received no consideration. BY a singular
process of reasoning. it was decided that.
II the community failed loudly 10 protest,
the gouging by the gas company might
be allowed to continue.
A standard of craftsmanship IS thus
disclosed which the intelligent reader viii
aDpraise quite readily and accurately. we
are sure
But conditions have changed since last
session. There Is demand for cheaper
gas-a loud demand It is universal. in
fact. Why some member of the Senate
or House District Committee did not take
the initiative in introducing the measure.
or why our District Commissioners, who
preach about the beauties of our form Of
local administration. did not send in
ringing recommendations in favor Of such
q measure, we do not stop TO inquire It
is enough to know that such a measure
is now pending-a measure introduced by
an outsider-and that it viii receive the
hearty. if belated, commentator of the
Commissioners.
Our esteemed contemporary. the Even
ing star, ever alive to the city's interests.
very strongly seconds The washington
HeTalds editorial Endorsement Of the
Madden bill. THE gas rate in this Dis
trict is excessive" it says. Heavy bills
have been paid under protest, with the
feeling that the monopoly holder was
making an undue profit out Of it's
product" and there is more that the Star
has TO say in the same line of cold facts.
It suggests that there viii be the usual
Juggling with the figures" by the gas
company TO confuse the issues" adroit
arguments by special pleaders," &c. Of
course, Washington has beer all through
that sort of thing time and again 1t is
to be expected. But neither cIeverness
nor patience viii be required 10 get at
the facts touching the cost of producing
artificial gas, or TO show the enormous
profits that have been made out of the
business here at the Capital Of the nation.
where an example should be set in the
Way Of fair dealing with the people
Unonswersble figures are at hand
The present session Of Congress is by
no means too short to permit Of the pas
sage of this 75-cent gas measure. Ger
tainly the people and the press of Wash
ington, acting in cooperation with the
Board Of Trade and the Business
Mems Association-which bodies will. Of
course, be heard from-will be potent
enough at the Capitol to counteract the
pernicious gas-house influence, always in
evidence, and put an end 10 the present
high-Handed cxJorti0n.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
ROOSEVELT AND WEALTH.
His Purpose Thought TO BE Breaking
Down Special Privilege.

From the Portland Orcgonian.
Mr. Roosevelt perceives clearly enough
that he has begun a war Of extermina-
ton In proposing the inheritance and
income taxes he distinctly intimates
that his purpose is to destroy the an
archistic faction Of our feudal nobility
which aourlshes upon special privilege
and plumber He is well aware that these
taxes will produce a great revenue, but
that Is not his primary object. First Of
all. he advocates them because they VIII
break down the tyranny Of confederated
wealth. To this end they viii act both
directly and indirectly. They will act d.
rectly, in the first place, by limiting the
fruits Of predatory enterprise, a gradu-
ated income tax viii not diminish in any
notable degree the rewards Of thrift and
Industry, but it viii cut off the spOils Of
rapine. Honest wealth VIII feel the bur
den Of an income tax less than it now
feels the property tax; predatory wealth
will wither under its searching power. In
the second place. the inheritance tax will
act Immediately TO disperse those enor-
nous and plraucaI Accommodations which
our feudsl lords hope TO make the basis
of aristocratic families which shall stand
out for ali time in naughty pre-eminence
above their fellow-citizens.
Indirectly, the Inheritance and income
taxes viii force the repeal OF the IN
righteous tariff. which is one Of the prin-
cipal bulwarks OF Tapacious privilege.
These taxes viii produce a great revenue
The need Of such a tariff 10 pay the ex-
penses Of the government Will thus dis
appear. No argument will be left for it
bat the hypOcritical and discredited pre-
tense that il is needed by infant indus
tries. There can be little doubt that
Mr.. Roosevelt sees in the Inheritance and
income axes the only available means to
break down the plut0cracy and destroy
the Entertainments Of special privilege
The better the public understand his pur-
pose the more vigorously they viii sup
port him
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
OLD Form of Gambling

From the Tuesday Magazine
Driven to desperation by their heavy
losses. gamblers have often sought by
some coup either TO repair their shattered
fortunes or to bring down utter ruin
upon themselves. One Of the most Gu
rious Instances of this kind comes from
England Of the eighteenth century. A no.
torious gambler had been losing steadily
IN a game for high stakes with Lord
Lorne. ENasperated by his continued i'll
fortune. he suddenly sprang up from the
card table, seized a large and costly punch
bowl and, balancing IL above HIS head.
called out 10 his opponent;
For once I'll have a bet where I have
an equal chance of winning, Odd or even
for 1900 guineaS,'
odd replied the peer pIacdly, and
the gambler hurled the magnificent bowl
against the wall.
When they counted the pieces Lord
Lorne had won.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
SECRETARY HITCHCOCK.
Appreciation Of His Heroic Labor in
Protecting Public Lands.

Prom the St Louis Republic.
Secretary Hitchcock has made a heroic
fight TO protect the public property from
spoliation by powerful interests which,
through corrupt politics and by other
means. have in every possible way OBJ
strUcted the course Of justice. The so
indictments he has obtained against these
land pirates and the conviction Of ninety
cf them prove that public property can
be protected from loot by an honest.
earnest. and fearless official.
But Mr.. Hitchcock's work is interrupted
at TIE climax of it's fruition The graft
ers and loOters he has assailed have
proven 700 strong fer him. Il is tolerably
Wen understood that he is leaving the
Cabinet because he has been too jealous.
Less zeal and more discretion of q GER
tain sort might have prolonged his stay
until the end Of the Presidential term.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
Again the ship.subsidr lobby.

The Washington Herald took occasion
short time ago to comment on the
damage done the ship-subsidy measure
by the methods OF the lobby maintained
here in its behalf A case in point was
described in these columns On Sunday.
In which it was sought by petitions al
legged to be spurious to show that labor
organizations are in favor Of pending
ship-subsidy legislation.
We are glad to know that this par
uoular case is under investigation by
District Attorney Jerome, of New York.
with a view to determining whether there
may not be cause for criminal action
against the head Of the lobby or his
agents. It has been represented 10 Mr..
Jerome that a ship-subsidy lobbyist gave
$1,000 to an agent in New York with IN
structions 10 use it in certain way and
no questions asked. This agent apparently
attempted to corrupt labor union officials
with some Of this money. He procured
the printing of petition for the enact
msnt OF ship-subsidy Legislation, and had
it sent out TO unions an over the country
with requests for signatures. This Pc
tition purported TO emanate from the Ma
rine Trades Council, but it has been re-
pudiated by the officers Of that council
and by the officers Of the American Fed
Grafton of Labor.
Who is guilty of this attempt to mis-
represent the sentiment of the labor
unions with respect to ship-subsidy legis-
lation. and who furnished the 5000 which
the subsidy lobbyist used to manufacture
influence In favor of that measure?
Santa CIaus is one nIutncrat aeainst
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
OUR BIsY nay

The day before Christmas it's up to the
scribe
70 come TO the front with a seasonable
gibe
But this is no time to be foolish or light.
Just think Of the things one must do be-
fore night.
There are presents to buy for the trouble
some few
Who have most unexpectedly sent things
to you.
And here you hnd out at the very last
hour
You've plenty Of icing and not any -four.
You've got to buy candles. and tinsel. and
spice,
And get twenty-odd other things in a
tricc
You've got TO keep watch on each turbu-
lent kid
Lest some one find out where the presents
are hid.
It's all right to quip through the rest of
the year
And greet every day with a Jest or a ieer.
But the day before Christmas is no line
for glee-
Great Scott! Mary Jane, we've forgotten
the tree,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
Orean to saxe WoodniIe.

From the Boston Herald.
A number Of years ago a village in the
eastern part Of the town of AIiddleboro
was very much wrought up over the in
PRODUCTION of a musical instrument in
their church service. At the final meet
ing, when the matter was to be settled,
excitement ran high
One man. whose reputation for honest
dealings was not always above suspicion,
made a fiery speech in opposition. A
neighbOT whose back yard joined the
speakers could hardly wait for the close
OF the remarks. Then, jumping to his feet
without waiting to address the chairman,
he said:
Gosh, sir, If I had known the gentle
man was so afraid of an organ I should
have had one hung on my woodpile years
ago"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
THE INNOCENT BYSTANDER
IL ECHo oF THE soNG-

The shepherds lay a-sleeping two thou
sand years ago
When from the dome Of heaven there
flashed wondrous glow.
From high, and high, and higher than all
the suns that are
There dripped the radiant luster Of that
one mystic star.
And all the angels chorused. and chorused
yet again
"Of JOY we bring great tidings; peace and
good will 10 men,
The gates OF heaven opened from east
ward to the west.
The song came surging onward IN voices
of the blest,
The gates of heaven opened from west
ward 10 the east
And ali the world was music ere yet the
song has ceased.
The singing stars went Ginning beyond ali
mortal ken
IN harmony triumphant; Peace and
good viii to men.
The walking shepherds listened: the low
ing kline fell still.
There was a hush Of wonder in valley and
on hill
While light and song came streaming
from ont Of heavens height.
Where neither sun nor shadow are known.
nor day or night
Il was the song that rises above all things
that be.
1T was the light that silvers the great
eternal sea
Across the field Of heaven the angels flung
the song.
And suns and stars uncounted sang as II
sped along
The shepherds lay and marveled and
dimly understood
What was this chant Of glory that pulsed
with naught but good.
The song was done, and silence dropped
round about them then.
But left the ceaseIess echo: Peace and
good will 20 men,
Ho, this the light triumphant: the light
in chidren's eyes.
Their laughter has the cadence of songs
from paradise,
And you and I. we know It, and we both
see and hear
The star that lit the heavens, the song
that chorused clear.
And in our hearts this season is echoing
again
The song that awoke the shepherds:
Peace and good will TO men"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
aTutiny I'm the Ranks.

From the Cleveland Press.
The bugler sounded the retreat"
said the old soldier, but more than
half the men in nay company paid no
attention 10 it."
"Disobeyed the order?'
Yes. You see they were Dutch and
didn't believe in either treating or re-
treating"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

From the Philadelphia Pres.
If the habit of keeping large American
estates together for years or in one hand
grows, there Is certain to be a constant
~ increasing agitation in favor of an in
come tax. a graduated inheritance tax.
and laws requiring the division OF great
properties
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
OLD MAN GIDDLEs OBSERVE,

Il isn't the gift so much as it is the sen
timent-that is. IT isn't the purse so much
as the money in it.
Judging by when they seem to have the
most pleasure In life. the best gift to give
some folks would be a cold in the head.
About 10 o'clock tonight you VIII sud
denly realize that the folks who advised
you what to give advised you poorly
Very few people give their preachers
carpet slippers; very few people give their
preachers anything.
The word gift" is composed Of two
words; IF and git" Also Of two more.
II and 1T" Thus. It is derived from
IF I git it,"
The man who talks about what you
haven't done is about as worrisome as the
one who talks about what he has done.
The successful man is the one who
learns that he cannot dance without step
ping on some ones toes
II you went right up to a friend and
spoke the sentiments contained on the
Christmas card you are about to send
him, he would think you had been drink
ing WILBUR NESBII
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

From the Chicago Tribune.
Ruggles-EIow are the heating ar
rangements in your fat?
Ramage - Heating arrangementsF
There's mitigating circumstance or
two in the basement I believe, but 1
don't know of anything as definite as
an arrangement.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
Quipk WnrI.-

From the New York Sun.
Father-Its absurd; what can you
know of a young man after only two
days acquaintance?
Daughter-WeH, that's as long as the
President looked at the canal
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
Everything in Proportion.

From Puck.
Brown-Say, what kind of a mail
chute is that over there2 Where do you
put the letters?
Apartment House Janitor-That amt
no mail chute. sport! That's the eleva-
tor shaft
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

A Chicago couple is to be married ac-
CCrding 10 the ancient rites of ZOroaster
It is barking pretty far back 20 wonder
what reply Mrs. Zoroaster made when
ZorOaster proposed, but she probably
said. This is so sudden" just like the
balance Of the ladies' have been doing
ever since
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
0NRrhPnrd.

From the Cleveland Leader
He loves mel know he does
You don't know what love is"
Il 20 so, And / know he loves me He
writes me the most beautiful letters"
''Uh-huh-I told YOU You don't know
love from literature"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
A delicate Compliment.

we made big hit in Salt Lake"
How was that?'
our press agent got out some extra
printing and billed Us as singing The
Chimes OF Mormoudy."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

The meanest man has been discovered
in Baltimore. He bought his wife a pres
ent ten days ago, put it in the bureau
drawer, placed the key upon the mantel-
piece, and then ambled off down town,
after making her promise net TO open the
package until Christmas morning.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
Fight 1t Out.

Does destruction seem to Turk
All about2
Don't believe 1T Go to work.
Fight il out
Danger often turns and flies
From a steady pair Of eyes;
Ruin always camps apart
From an indicated heart.
In the spirit there is much
DO not doubt
That the world can neTer touch;
Fight it Out
MN IL.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

Representative Lacey says Congress
should not take a Christmas recess. Since
free passes have been abolished many
Congressman doubtless feel the same way
about It.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
ProbnbIx So.

From the Florida Times-Union-
Artist-Who first drew Justice with her
eyes blindfolded?
Judge-Some attorney. probably. ! sup
pose, that had lost a case.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

From the Chicago News
Byker-I hear that young Spriggs
is getting up in the world
Pyker-Yes. One year ago he was a
chiropodist and now he's a barber,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
Only Human.

From the New York sun
Mrs. Knicker-How did you persuade
your cook TO stay?
Mrs Boeker-We hung some mistletoe
over the stove.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

The Richmond News-Leader says:
when Count Boni arose to speak, half
or the members Of the Chamber Of Depu-
ties walked out. And the remaining half
did not establish a claim for decency by
not following suit" Perhaps they were
already out
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
Practically puf-

Christmas has been coming for some
time. said the dame
Just so, quoth he. and shortly We
shall find that il has came"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

A Chicago woman has sued the street
car company because a strap she was
hanging 70 gave way, resulting in her
serious injury. This will probably have
a tendency to do away with straps, for
the company is under no more obligation
to furnish that sort of luxury than it is
to furnish seats for the passengers.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
The Inst Leaf

And now upon the street we see,
With eyes that fairly pop
The poor, belated chap, dear me,
Who's just begun to shop.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

Eat this season we should be wary Of
snap judgment"
What do you mean?"
Lots of people VINO know enough 10
come in when II rains are unable to do
so until they have finished that Christ
mas shopping
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
Exactly.

The child is said to be father to the
man. I believer"
What Of it,"
This kid Of mine acts more like a step
father"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

is in the market for just that sort Of
traffic.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24
nisnnpointment in Rritain.

From the New York sun.
Caesar had just sent his message,
'Veni, vidi. vici."
only three words. and not even illus
trated," they groaned-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

The House OF Lords is very bold in its
defiance CT the Commons. It begins to
look as though nothing short of a Kipling
poem viii bring that obstrepercus body
to its senses.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

Reports from Persia say that the Shah
Is losing strength We feared as much
He has recently been dying only about
once q week. instead of every other day,
as formerly.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

Atlanta needs a dead burglar SAYS
the Atlanta Journal. Pittsburg would be
glad to accommodate Atlanta with as
many live ones as the town can use.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

Some canny Scots are thinking Of re-
turning a lot Of Mr. Carnegie's money be-
cause it is having a harmful rather than
a good effect upon the community. There
is fine chance now for Chancellor Day
to get in another word for the downtrod-
den millionaire.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

The French secretary OF war has Just
completed an airship trip. Our Secretary
OF War can never leave the lid long
enough to get up in the air.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

The gentleman who has invented the
electric spanker certainly chose very In
opportune time 20 exploit its many viz
tues in the press. The youngsters are not
doing anything at this time to justify a
spanking.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

The Southern tour of Miss Nethersole
IN "Sapho" is not the big financial sue
cess expected. Not a town has attempted
to suppress It.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

Carrie Nation says the President has
sounded the death knell Of the Republi-
can party" Carrie Should go slow with
that sort Of talk. Just because she yields
little Ratchet. she isn't necessarily i'm
mune
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

The advent Of electric lights for the
trees and asbestos for Santa.s whiskers
promises to greatly reduce the crop of
Christmas CONGREGATIONS.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

Mr.. James Bryce seems to be persona.
grata with the entire American Com
monwea1th"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

II is all very well TO talk about the
contents Of the bottle coming up to the
pretensions Of the label, but how is the
everyday man who has purchased bot
tie labeled "huile d'Olive" to know
whether he has drawn prize or a
blnnkH
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

Senator Butt Of Arkansas, for taking
a bride. has finally landed in the peniten-
tiary. Statesmen tempted 10 go wrong
should contemplate the sad finish Of this
Butt In.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

The Omaha Bee says "Bellamy' is now
pronounced 'Biame-me" in Washington.
No; that name had previously been copy
righted by another.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

One of our consuls says European
laundry work IS very much superior 10
that done in America However, we
have the world beat on whitewashing
methods.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

A Pennsylvania prophet says all the
rivers in the land viii be dried up in two
years. That viii not bother Congress;
the money can be appropriated to dig
wells
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

"The President has not told all about
the Panama canal" says a contemporary.
Stiu. what he has told will hold US for
while
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

Some one has figured it that the Toledo
ice combine is liable to a $4,000 fine for
accepting rebates It is lucky for the
combine that the trial is a December in
stead Of a July affair.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

Mark Twain says HIS work Is worth 30
cents a word. That shows how wonder
fully deceptive appearances sometimes
are
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

Mr.. Curtis Jet seems to have been one
Of the most versatile young murderers
this country ever produced.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

King Edwards cook gets 5000 a year
salary, but that is nothing to the glory
of the Panama cook who was written up
in a Presidential message.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

\ New York scientist says man is
made of soap" good many Of them
seem 30 made Of I've soap, at that.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

The French are naming all their new
battle ships after the great authors Of
the country. We have syndicated that
proposition by naming one Of ours In
diana
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-24

Spain is constructing a $7O,O0O0O0 navy
Ever since Spain retired from the pacifi-
cation business things have been looking
up right along.