davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
FIRST PRIZE.
This Story Gets SIS.
Showed Marked Improvement.

A rather elderly gentleman of quiet
tastes, who lives not far from Aberdeen,
S. D., was feeling poorly this spring,
and sought medical advice. The doc
tor looked over his patient and sized
him up as one that needed stimulant,
say, a little hot toddy.
The old man objected on account of
the bad example it would be setting
before his family. :.
''That is easy,' said the doctor,
lust Gall t for the hot water, saying yin that
Ingredients in your own possession"
The next day neighbor called to
inquire how the elder was getting along.
"He seems to be feeling much bet
ter" said his wife. 81 feel sure of it;
because he is beginning to have more
regard for his personal appearance. He
shaved three times last night and twice
this morning. e. w. Sorenson.
Kasson, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
Mark Twain as an Advertiser.

In his early Hartford days, Mark
Twain took an active interest in base
Ball in common with most of his fellow
citizens. While attending an exciting
match he lost a gold-headed umbrella,
which he advertised in the local papers
somewhat after this fashion:
"Lost-$10 reward. A gold-headed
on the grandstand at the baseball
ground on Saturday. It was probably
stolen from him while he was engaged
in cheering the Hartfords for their, vic
tory over the Providence nine-presum-
ably stolen by a red5headed, freckle-
faced boyeabout - years old For the
body of the boy and the umbrella de-
livered at my house on Pennington, av-
enue, $40. will be, paid. For the
body of the boy or the umbrella separ-
ately, S. for either. ,For. the boy alive,
nothing under any circumstances
This advertisement was signed with his
full name and address. M. K.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
His Lucid Answer.

One day as Pat halted at the top Of
the river bank, a man famed for his
inquisitive mind stopped and asked:
"How long have you hauled water
for the village, my good man7"
""Tin years, sor.'
z"Ah!, HOW many loads do you take
in day?'' ~~..
"From tin to fifteen, sor"
/" All, yes. Now, I have problem for
you. How much water, at this rate,
have you hauled in all, sir?'
The driver of the watering cart
jerked his thumb backward toward the
river and replied:
"All the water yez don't see there
now, sor. - M. K.
Owatonna, MINI. ..-s.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
THIRD PRIZE.
This Story Gets So. =
Took Talent to Do It. .

Jim Webster was brought before d
Vermont Justice of the peace. 1t was
the same old Charge, After. the evil
dence was all in the Judge, with a per-
prehend, Webster, how it was possible
FOR you to steal those chickens when
they were roosting right under the
owners window, and there were two
vicious dogs in the yard.'
sit wouldn't do you bit o. good
ledge, for me to- 'splain how I cotched
sem You couldn't do it eff yer tried
forty times, and yer might get hide
yer put yer leg ober de fence. De bes
way. fer yer to do, jedge, is to buy
chickens in the market.'' "A. B.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
The Sunday question.

A young man and a young woman
were engaged to be married. !, A few
weeks before the time set apart for the
ceremony, the young man . remarked,
that I am a victim of an idiosyncracy
or peculiar weakness. - LII ~. =
"Well, what is it?' she asked. -
~ do not think it. worth while tt
tell you about it at this time: = -
~ think 7 ought to KNOW
"Well,sI am sure you will find it out
soon enough - ~. ~...-.
II will not marry you. !, will not
marry any man who is guilty Of those
things you speak of. - .1-..--
The young man softened and replied
"Sooner than have any trouble, since
you take the matter so seriously, will
tell YOU. I am somnambulist. -
"Now, George, what do you think
care for that9 I will go there with you
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
A. Reasonable REQUEST.

door e Rbav w final chat b after se John oh $
evening call. He was leaning against
the house talking in lew, tones. After
about ten minutes Mary looked around
to discover her father in the doorway,
clad in pajamas.
why, father. what in the world is
the matter?'
"John,' said her parent, "you knew
we never complained about your stay.
ing so late and I m not going to com
ment on that now. But for heaven s
sake stop leaning against, the doorbel]
and let the family get some Sleep
Iowa Falls, Iowa. &C. M.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20

friends eagerly for possible informa-
ton. H. -ss j.. r-sa
On, one occasion, in the autumn, she
was puzzled by new plant; and her
woman s curiosity trebled her interest
in anything whose name: she could not
discover. A country cousin was visit
ing her at that time. She. took the
strange specimen to him. -.
"John,'' she said, ::see this curious
plant with it's silky pods. Notice the
round seedlets inside that peep out like
are attached to- the wonderful down
that helps them to ride for miles and
miles on the wind. Is it possible that
you could tell me it's name?"T -. .~'
Eyes, he replied, taken off his guard
as he looked wrathfully at the plant,
cit s one of those id milkweeds.'
| T. h.''8 RE D.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
Prizes for stories printed on this

Prizes for stories printed on this
page are awarded as indicated.
For the coming week Til e Jour.
ma again offers SIS, first prize; So,
second prize, and So, third prize,
FOR ''the best story you ever
heard"
1t Is not required that stories be
original, but new and good stories,
retold In The writer's own words,
will be considered in the eompeti-
ton. Write only on one side of the
paper, giving name and address
with each story. Specify II you
want your Initials used as signature.
Do not send clippings or enclose
stamps, as manuscripts Will not be
returned. Stories should not exceed
800 words, and should be Of humor-
Gus nature. Omit Introductions, and
be brief. Checks will be sent prize
winners. 80.
Address, Best Story Editor, Jour-
! nal, Minneapolis, MINI. g..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
He'd Want a Harr,

The craze for giving trading stamps,
which has struck, the country in recent
years, was given. sharp rebuke by
Nat Goodwin. He happened IN a liquor
house which, had adopted the custom
Of giving out stamps with drinks. At
ter taking" his drinks (and Goodwin
takes a good many sometimes) the
barkeeper offered him the stamps which
the amount OF his purchase called. for.
Goodwin refused, them. .,, r..
ii WxYou had better take them, - said
the man in the, white apron; eve. re-
deem them with very handsome prizes
Why, if you. can save up thousand
coupons, we, give you grand piano.
,,..'|say, look here" said the actor
eff I ever drank enough Of your whis.
Ky. or smoked enough of your cigars
to get thousand of those coupons,
wouldn't want a piano. I'd want a
harp - ~: IA 4 &sa& zs~ .E.:SS%-P.
Hector, MINI. %
Liege is to have an international ex
position Of foodstuffs in July and Au
gust. '~~ '.<. = = - T., hi -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
An Embarrassing Question

A little girl entered a drugstore and,
stepping up to. the druggist, said:
P1 k;ss mis- mister, will you show
one9' +t>s
After being told by the surprised
druggist that they had no blind pig,
she insisted: .t# sg
!. sob, yes, / know You have, because
my papa and MI. Be say you keep
one. Won t you please let me see its''
T NJ
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
Proved It on Him.

other man employed as his servant ...,'
One morning he said to this servant:
"H Hs;1 n; said the man. - & j
i "You are getting careless, Hoskin. y
cob, sir, I hope not, SIR -
"You don t brush my clothes, regular
" any more.'
:, g Oh, sir, 7 assure xou-'''. r.
"There, Hoskin,, that will do LEFT
a dollar in my. white vest pocket yes
terday. morning and-=it is still there
- - M. e.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
Quite a Treat for Him,

A little boy had been absent from
school and, on his return, brought the
following excuse to the teacher:
Miss Smith-Please excuse George
for being absent. His father and I
had to go to a funeral yesterday, and
as the poor child has SO few pleasures,
we took him along. &C. NJ. :
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20

the worshipers returned. Judge of their
amazement when upon going into the
front room a little later they discovered
above the fireplace forgotten placard
bearing the words, .f.#e D.. ~.
IT died of the cholera" T..
Toledo, Ohio. M. j. F.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
With All Due Respect.

"A certain chief of government bu-
,reau"was invited, with others, to, dine
at the table of the member of the
cabinet who was at the time his su-
perior,
= During the dinner the bureau chief,
who happened to be placed between a
door and a window, and who had said
nothing, at all, began to sneeze.
care you taking cold, Mr.. 3D.
asked the member Of the cabinet. :
IT believe I have that honor and
pleasure, sir; " rema rked-~ the other,
bowling very respectfully. H. l..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
A Rose by Another Name.

The Rev. Mrs. Blank suddenly
became interested in botany. When she
could not discover the name of a flower
sr~plant from her books she piled her
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
- - = Is. = ;. = = :. - :.
Potatoes. as Medicine.

: .Potatoes: as NIedlclne.
: An: eighth grade geography class was
one day discussing the medicinal values
Of quinine. ....,......-.,....-
Finally an earnest-looking boy vol
unteered the information that potatoes
were sometimes used as medicine.
"Why,, Henry,' asked his teacher,
The boy turned and, picking up his
textbook, trinmphantlY read:
SIN Ireland great quantities Of po-
tatoes are raised yearly for consump-
tion.' ~ JIM. Peterson,
- HilIsbOrO. N. 4Dt i:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20

on Sunday mornings, and you can 90
with me to the Methodist church on
Sunday evenings. = I'd. s. M.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-05-20
Cancer Cured
In 10 DAYS
A Discovery That Has Startled The
: Medical World. Positively. Guar
" antee to Cure You or No PAY.

Cut Out Free Coupon Below and Send It to
Me To-Day With Your Name and Address,
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08
ROBBED A BANK.
Affair at Crosby Strictly on Wild West
Lines.

FARGO, N. D., May S.-The first
detailed account of the bank robbery
at Crosby shows that it was a genuine
wild West" affair, and but for the for
tunate arrival of citizen while the
robbers were at work, the bank would
have lost all it's funds. There were
two bandits. They rode into town
shortly after ten o'clock in the morning
and tied their horses about eighty feet
west of the building. Dashing up the
steps, they entered the banking room.
One of the robbers carried a six
shooter in each hand, while the other
had Winchester rifle. With these they
quickly covered Cashier Nelson and c..
NJ. Gray, who has offices in the bank.
Threatening with blood curdling oaths
to shoot the men down like dogs on
the slightest show of resistance, the
desperadoes ordered Cashier Rooster to
open the safe.
The cashier sought to temporize by
telling the robbers that the time lock
was on the safe, and in order to DEM
onstrate went toward the safe door,
which was closed but unlocked. He
gave the combination a twirl and the
vault was effectually sealed. The rob-
bers, becoming aware of the trick play
ed upon them, again ordered the CASH
Ter at the point of the revolver to open
the safe.
At this juncture ]. H. Hendrickson
came to the door and started to enter
the room. Seeing the three men with
appraised hands, however, Hendrickson
managed to escape before the robbers
could capture him. This probably saw
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08
WASHINGTON, OREGON AND IDAHO
PROHIBITION CANDIDATES NAMED
Held at Milton Saturday
Independent Candidate for Sheriff
Will Be Named.

MILTON, Or, May S.-The county
convention of the prohibitionists OF
JJmatilla county, held at Milton Satur-
day named candidates for all but the
legislative offices and the office OF
sheriff. The nominations are as fol-
lows: County judge, T. L. Childers,
Milton. treasurer, Joe Scott, Athena;
coroner, DR.. E. E. Dotson, Milton;
commissioner, S. S. Parish, Athena.
An Independent candidate for Sheriff
will be nominated. A committee of
three, consisting of H. A. Davis. DR.. E.
E. Dotson and William Talbot, was
appointed to confer with other indie
pendent agencies with a view of nOmi-
mating a sheriff.
The platform declares for the COM
plete overthrow of the beverage liquor
traffic, the maintenance of the present
local option law and equal suffrage.
A resolution was passed commencing
DR.. C. ]. Smith and Walter Pierce as
members of the state senate for the
able fight to maintain the local option
law in the last session of the legisla-
ture.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08
500. Reward, 500.

The readers of this paper will be
nleased to learn that there is at least
one dreaded disease that science has
been able to cure in all its stages, and
that is Catarrh. Halls Catarrh Cure
is the only positive cure now known to
the medical fraternity. Catarrh being
constitutional disease, requires a
constitutional treatment. Halls Ca
tarrh Cure is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucuous
surfaces of the system, thereby ce-
stroying the foundation Of the disease,
and giving the patient strength by
building I'D the constitution and as
sisting nature in doing its work. The
nroprietors have so much faith in it's
curative powers that they offer One
Hundred Dollars for any case that
case it fails to cure. Send for
list of testimonials.
Address: F. j. CHENEY & CO., Tole-
do, o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for consti-
patton.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08
Creamery's Biu Business.

During the month of April there
were 5000 pounds of butter
churned at the Waitsburg creamery
says the Gazette. The business has
been steadily increasing from the day
the institution opened, and no doubt
the increase will continue. There are
now forty-four patrons Of the cream
cry and during the past month the
amount of cream received has more
than doubled. The butter is selling
very we'll and bears a No. 1 reputa-
tion
Machinery for making ice cream has
been ordered and Manager Cox expects
it to arrive by the tenth of the pres
ent month.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08
Make Medford Dry Town.

MEDFORD, Or, May S.-A petition
is being circulated in Medford this week
to submit the saloon license question
to the voters of the city at the ensuing
June election. The Ministers associa-
ton has formulated a plan of cam
paign, including a ten-days' lease of
the Davis opera house with speaking
each day.
The saloon men are intending to
make a strong opposition move, and it
will make the local contest very in
teresting, aside from it's political phase.
The result is in doubt, as at the last
election one ward went dry and the
other wet. The business men of the
city are divided in sentiment.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08
Want $500 Tons of Tomatoes.

The Webber-B Russell Canning COM
pany is advertising in Yakima for
$500 tons of tomatoes for the season
of 1906, and the farmers are urged to
go into the business with the promise
of receiving So per ton.
The above information was given
out this morning by George M. Ed
wards, superintendent and local repre-
sentative of the canning plant that
this company is now building in this
city. This plant will be ready for the
machinery between the 18th and 30th
of this month, and it will be complet-
ed and ready for operation by the
first of July-Yakima Republic.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08
ACCIDENT on NORTH AANk ROAD
One Man Killed and Three Injured by
Explosion of Thirty Kegs OF
Powder.

HOOD RIVER, Or, May S.-V. f..
Vincent was fatally injured and three
foreign laborers seriously burned on
the north bank railroad grade between
Underwood and White Salmon Satur-
day afternoon Vincent was foreman
of a blasting gang and with the help
of three others was emptying thirty
kegs of black powder into sacks prep
aratory to putting in blast, when
from an unknown cause the powder
was ignited, badly burning the men.
Vincent had his back to it, but his
coat caught fire and he was unable to
put it out, being badly burned, and will
probably die. His wife came up to the
hospital at Collins
Three doctors from Hood River
dressed the wounds and the wounded
men were taken in the company's
launch to the camp hospital at Under
wood.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08
MRS. BAluMGToM BOOTH PRESENT
Will Be Principal Speaker at Woman's
Club Meeting in Metuchan,
New Jersey.

METUCHAN, N. j., May S.-The
spring meeting of the New Jersey Fed
Grafton of Wimen's Clubs opened here
this morning at the First Presbyterian
church. Mrs ]. C. Mason, wife of the
pastor of the church, delivered the in
vocation, and Mrs Hester nj. Poole,
founder of the Quiet Hour club of this
city, delivered the address Of welcome
The president of the federation, Mrs
Andrew J. Newbury, responded and
then delivered her annual address. Part
of the morning session was devoted to
the discussion of the subject Of better
housing for women employees at sum-
mer resorts. The subject was intro
ton, and awoke spirited discussion.
Mrs. Maud Ballington Booth will be
the principal speaker in the afternoon
session. The Rev. AntOinette Brown
Blackwell will deliver an address on
Susan B. Anthony. Among the guests
of honor at the convention are Mrs.
Philip Carpenter, president of the New
Yorw state federation; Mrs. Belle de
Rivera, president of the New York City
federation; Mrs. Lille Devereaux
Blake, president of the New York Leg
islative league; the Rev. Phoebe A.
Hanaford, president Of the New York
Womens Press club; Miss Ada Fuller
president of the New Jersey Womens
Press club; Mrs. Charlotte B. Wilbur,
president of Sorosis; Mrs. William Ger
nv Slade, president of the national So
ciety. Daughters of 1912, and Mrs.
Emma Bourne, president of the New
Jersey Women's Christian Temperance
union.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08
Many Stakes to Be Used.

ECHO, Or, May S.-H. T. Irwin has
secured the contract for 10000 stakes
measuring 1x2 inches and 2 feet long
the canals and various waterways
which will be erected under the east
Umatilla project. The main camp is
now established at Foster, few miles
below Echo. where it is expected it will
remain for months.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08

if you desire to have your domestic
troubles removed, your lost love re-
turned; your bitterest enemies convert
ed into staunch friends-in a word,
whatever may be your troubles, suspi-
cions or desires, call on this learned
palmist and he will send you away
happier, wiser and holder than ever
before. Scores Of people in Portland
alone consider his advice and assist
ance most valuable. He has made for
tunes for many, finding for them
through his psychic powers iAvest-
ments that returned them great profit.
Many married couples who hereto
fore have quarreled and led miserable
lives are now united and living con-
tented and happy. Drinking husbands
have been reformed and reclaimed and
restored to their families. Alb
sent friends have been found, way
of their ways and started on the path
Of obedience and duty. All these
things are daily occurrence. His ad-
vice is soothing and beneficial giving
them that peace Of mind that wealth
and riches cannot produce. Men of
business and speculation; sporting men
on games of chance; even ministers
Of the Gospel sent for readings through
the mail and in return send testimoni-
ais stating that palmistry is truly q
science. You should consult PROF.
CHESTERFIELD. He is acknowledged
the greatest living authority on PALM
istry, and all his work is strictly
CONFIDENTIAL. Office hours are
from 10 a. m. to p. m. daily and
Sunday.
Permanently located at the Bee
Hive Rooming House. corner First and
Main streets. Fee soc and 81. Full life
readings given by mail. Enclose stamp
for special rates.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08
OOUOOOOOOOOOO
PAIMISTRY

The celebrated Palmist and Psyche
lOgist-Prof. GRANT CHESTER
FIELDS in the city, and is recog-
nized by press and public everywhere.
All are pleased and delighted with his
readings. Multitudes visit his parlors
daily and are happy. Palmistry is an
exact science, and it excites the won
der and admiration Of the most skepti-
cal. Prof Chesterfield may be consult
ed on all matters pertaining to the well
fare of the human race. Your palms
reveal all questions Of life pertaining
to marriage, sickness, death, changes,
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08
ROBBINS REEF IS TO Be SOLD
and Under Water Near New York
To Be Sold Under the
Hammer.

NEW YORK, May 8.-By order OF
the New Jersey court of chancery, 1918
acres of OYSTER island and 1929 acres
of Robbins Reef, all of which are under
water in New York bay, within the
boundary lines of the. First ward, New
York City, will be sold at auction by
Auctioneer Frederick Wolbert on
Montgomery street, Jersey City, this
afternoon.
The late George Cook, state geologlst
of New Jersey, applied to the state
riparian board twenty years ago for the
riparian rights around the islands. He
claimed title to the land by virtue OF
grants secured originally from LORD
Berkeley in 1892 and confirmed by the
Duke Of York. who had granted all OF
east Jersey, including the ISLANDS Oh
New York bay, to Berkeley. The Duke
of York received his grant from Charles
the Second.
For nearly century the questlon VI
jurisdiction over the islands has peeh
a matter of dispute between New Jer-
sew and New York. A treaty commis-
sion seventy-five years ago decideo III
favor of New York, and the supreme
court of New York held that the STATE
had absolute control Of property rlents'
The court of appeals reversed THIS oe-
cision and held that the word "1urisoic-
ton" in the treaty simply referred 10
police jurisdiction. The action oi
Chancellor Magic in ordering the SAFE
of the islands will again bring up tne
questions raised when the treaty was
drafted. The sale is the result OF sun
brought by the heirs of Professor oooN
against the railroad corporations nav
ing interests in the riparian rights III
the bay.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-05-08

ed the banks money, for the robbers
Immediately ceased their endeavors to
get the safe opened and, gathering up
all the cash in sight. some $780, march
ed their victims ahead of them out of
the bank and westward to where their
horses were hitched
When within few yards of the ami
mails they left their victims and made a
dash for their mounts. BY this time
the citizens had been aroused by Hend-
rickson's report of the attempted bank
robbery, and posse began firing at the
two desperadoes. In the fusillade one
of the robbers was seen to fall and
had to be assisted to mount by his
companion. He dropped one of his pis-
tolls, a As Colt, which later was found
by the posse. Once mounted, however,
the bandits turned in their saddles
and sent bullet after bullet toward the
posse and dashed away at breakneck
speed.