The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-08-15

MT. JOutNf hhlu INC uUltt Upgf . I
potter git of dis afternoon. Me
gran'mother is dyih.'"
"Ive something for you TO do to-
day, Johnny" said Mr. Jones, but you
may Eet on at > o'clock
"Ah, wot good Is 4 o'clock?'-
Judge.
In n discussion Of expensive health
resorts and watering places Bishop
Mcyikar Of Providence said the other
day:
"A friend Of mine. a stout fellow,
once went to Murienbad to get his
weight reduced. He hau heard great
things Of Marienuad and hoped 10
lose hny pounds or so vita no In.
convenience to himself
But he found the rates excessive.
ly L.gh and the treatment excessively
severe. and after an Interview with
She hotel physician he said. pcttishly.
spare diet. long walks could
nave managed all that without coming
20 this expensive place
Yes. said the physician. but you
forget the annoyance induced by our
high prices. That of itself will go
long way toward reducing your
weight '-Pittsburg Gazette.
A visiting bishop In Washington
was arguing with friend ON the de-
STABILITY OF attending church. ~ last
he put the question squarely. What
is your personal reason for not at
tonding?" Tho gentleman smiled in
mo oncnso Intended" way as he
replied. "The fact Is one finds so
many hypocritcs there" Returning the
smile. the bishop said: Don't let that
Keep you away; there is always room
for one more. Kansas city star.
=
Old Donald Macintosh was ST.
The minister was with him. lie lis
tened with patience to the lattor's cN-
hortations but at length put a qucs.
ton "wil there be- any liquor In Hoay-
en-" Certainly not, the minister re-.
piled Il ann surprised YOU should ask
such a question "Wccl, SIR, its no
that care fort myself but Il looks
wccl ON the table Kansas city
star.
The student OF sociology handed
the tramp a cigar. lie wanted 10 learn
how such people viewed life. Are you
happy? he asked The tramp shifted
into sunny spot II should smile.
he answered. blowing cloud. too
late To shovel snow, too early to trim
lawns. nobody putting In coal, and
once In a while sucker studying so
cial conditions. Philadelphia Ledger
Senator Frye, In an address at Cas-
tine. Me. told story OF a Castinc
editor:
In your beautiful and quaint town
of Castinc.' he said there was one,
an cdwitor who received. at about this
season. two inquiries from subscrib
ers.
The first subscriber was the moth
er Of twins aud she wanted to know
how TO bring ner little ones safely
through the trying ordeal of teething
fIsh. a,g,VH guhagVIk,r "a furuar
wanted 60 know how 10 ria his or
chard of grasshoppors
"The cuitor IN the next weeks is
sue answered these questions 20 m,
best of his ability. but unfortunately
he mixed up the sohriQuets under
which the two cnquircrs had request
cd him to address them
Thus IL came about that the moth
ar OF teething twins got for answer
Cover them carefully with straw
and set hre 20 them, and the litu.
pests. after jumping about In the
flames few minutes, will spcedil'
b. settled
~ Wv. AhNA NAIH.N ~ Wv w WIN ~ 90
hnppcrs the editors advice was;
Give a little castor oil ana ru
their gums gently every three hour
With a bone ring Exchange.
John Philip Sousa was coudommu
the alw that allows certain talNu
machine companies To make rocorI
of his famous marches and solI thci
without paying him a single penn
for the privilege
Il have only contempt tor such
law as that, said the great bandma
ter when I think of the :niusti,
of il. I boil over with coutamp. D
mind myself OF q Washlng'rniau VI
WAS hauled before a magistrate q
committing a nuisance.