davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-09-08
The Roosevelt Misspelling Decree

SO we are to have Federal regula-
ton of English spelling by Execu-
tive decree 1t was bound to come.
Having regulated motherhood, the
Beef Trust, railroad rates, football,
the size of private fortunes, wife
beaters, South America, school
teaching, race suicide, the labelt on
food cans, the Republican party and
muck-rakers, there was absolutely
not another thing in sight for Presi-
dent Roosevelt to do Time was
hanging heavily on his hands SO he
threw the dictionaries overheard.
Public Printer Stillings hereafter
will print all messages from the Pres
ident and all documents from the
White House according to the Car
negie- Roosevelt misspelling system
at the peril of losing his job. No
matter what common usage and the
may prescribe, no matter what Cab
met officers may recommend in their
reports or Congress decree in it's
only President Roosevelt right. Such
United States of course will result
only in confusion. 1t will justify the
ignorant and careless who do not
spell correctly and put a premium on
posturing eccentricIty.
Artemus Ward lived before his
time. Instead of being neglected
humorist he should have made mill
lions out of steel or turnd statesman
TO have his queer phonetics convert
ed into Government textbooks for
the misinstruction of the young. Ser
ious1y, President Roosevelt is doing
great harm to the cause of education
and the working custom of uniform
ity by INDUCING his freakish impulse
to set up new standards. More than
that, he makes himself laughing
stock. His next move should be to
have the Government Printing Office
set up in shed attached to the
White House.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-09-08

we take a seat. Last year we wore
shoes that we could pick our teeth
with, but this year the toes of our
shoes look like they had been made
for the foot of some Uncle Rastus.
Last year we wore collars that looked
like a stiff pillow sic +.rned up side
down. but this year we must give
them to the hired man, as New
tangled collar has made its appear
that looked like miniature umbrellas,
but this year they adorn their 'top-
knots with lids that resemble
chimney sweep nests. Last year the
ladies wore sleeves so long that only
the finger nails were visible, but this
year they are wearing them so short
that should they undertake to scratch
their heads, you would think they
were di5robing for the night. A few
years ago, long tresses for the little
girls were thought to be the most
bautiful adornment of childhood, and
which the Rip Saw still thinks, but to-
day the proper thing for little Mar
CARTE is the Dutch Gut" which
makes her look like a cross between
a male and female with the male sex
plCuOIIlildIlllg. Last year we only
wore limited amount of jewelry, but
the dog collar" up and down the
line, and nothing escapes the female
anatomy where a piece can be worn
but what it is adorned, with the ex-
ception of the nose. A year or so
ago, we wore skirts so long that
should girl undertake to walk fast
or run, her trail would kick I'D dust
| that resembled a miniature cyclone,
but this year skirts have "gone up
| and when Miss "Foolfasrion' takes
seat her hose and lingerie is notice
able without opera glasses. A few
years ago the willowly. straight girl
was the one we raved over, but to-
day unless she has that broken back"
appearance and leans windward like
a child with a case of green-apple-
belly-ache, she is out of date A few
years ago it was an indication of SLOW
. enlinesS for one to be caught with
claws but today ultra swell society
trims their finger nails to point that
would cause the unsophisticated man
or woman in this "New tangled dam
phoolishness" to believe that they
were mixed with the "feline" tribe A
year oga you should do your hair up
on your forehead, or you were out of
datae, but today you have got to have
pair of rats as long as your arm in
order to get your hair done up be-
tween your shoulders. A few years
ago Our little red necktiek "Its" would
have died the death of scalded coon
dog had they been compelled to step
out On the street but raglan over
coat. but today these sissy" looking
pant wearers would really rather
WORK than be caught out in COM
pany with anything but the corset fit
ting Paddock"
Since old Mrs Adam was made
from the lower right-hand rib of I'm
Gle Adam. women have worn skin
tight gloves, but today the tsmannish''
or he" glove IS the trick. A few
years ago, when the human family's
Uranium contained brains instead of
sbattter' we could distinguish men
from women by their general contour,
but today unless hes wear awhisk-
e-s YOU have got to be an expert to
discern which has the right to cuss.
When the Rip Saw was boy. is Il
had have caught one of its sisters. 81
ter she had gotten to the long dressf
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-09-08
NEW TANGLED FooL1sHNEss

ers, have all got on to us being ser
of New tangled fools,'' and each year
and some times twice year, they will
turn out something new, and wed
haye hydrophobia unless we got it.
Last wear the corset makers turned
pair of corsets that caused the chin
and bust to meet, but this season a
man has to use microscope to tell
where the bust stops and the bread
basket begins. Last summer we wore
ringstreaked striped stockings, but
this year the stripes go up and down.
Last year we wore frock tailed coats,
but this year we have got to lay them
aside and put on the "fiare tailed gar
ment- Last year we wore pants-fhe
men we meant that was as: tight as
the hide on pawpaw bush, but this
year the waist of our britches. or the
part Mes ~ on when eating ON dir
ner, never touches onr anatomy a1rftil
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-09-08

From the Rip Saw we clip the fol-
lowing pertinent suggestions /:
Were all fools we guess, but there
are a lot of us that don't know it, and
when we don't know thing it ,donr
hurt us very bad But there's lot of
us that know we're fools and haven't
sense enough to know how to stop be
ing IDIOTS, but of all fools this, or any
other country ever produced. TIL
New tangled fool" is the dangeresi.
We have no right ii blame our chill
lren for being fools. for we have
.Aught them to be such from the time
they dropped their "pinafores."
The merchants in general, the hab-
erdashers, the dressmakers, the cor
set makers. the stocking and sock
makers, the shocnakcrs, the button
makers. the combmakers, the hatmak-
ers, the chemiselnakcrs. the shirtwaist
makers, the pa1Tts and pantIet max
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-09-08

age" riding sastradle," we and our en-
tire family would have lett the couil-
try. as we would have sincerely be-
lieved we were disgraced, but today
we have New tangled set of wo-
men, and they apparently seem just
as much at home with foot on each
side of old @Dobbin" as they used to
before the learned to be 'straddlers,'
but the Rip Saw has never outgrown
its feeling of disgust in this matter,
and should we catch our wife or one
of our daughters, who had reached the
long dress age galloping around
over the country on a sorrel mare and
equally dividing herself across that
mares back, we would Immediately
take up the study of languages SO as
to be able to swear in every tongue
known to the civilized world.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-09-08

cough was much better, and in short
time [ was entirely cured. 1t will
always eb my family remedy for
colds Fully guaranteed; soc and
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-09-08
ODD FELLOWS

ODD FELLOWS
Greenville Lodge No. "a, I. O. O. F.
Meets every Tuesday at Castle Hall,
Cor. of Main and Walnut. SITS.
c. S. Harris, Noble Grand.
G. w. Rossell, Secretary.
Encampment, !. O. o. F.
Meets first Fridays at Eagles Hall,
Main Street
Ben Van Norman, G. P.
G. W. Rossell, Scribe.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-09-08
LODGE DIRECTORY.

MASONIC
Hillyer Royal Arch Chapter No. 1873.
Meets Third Thursdays at Castle
Hall, Cor. Main and Walnut Sts..
Robert Somerville, H. P.
E. @. Ham, Secretary
Blue Lodge
G'vilie Lodge No. 400, A. F. & A. M.
Meets end Thursdays at Castle Hall
Cor. Main and Walnut Streets.
J. M. Chandler, Act'g w. M.
Robert Somerville. Secretary.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-09-08
KNIGHTS OF pYrHIAs

VI. : 111z2O
Stonewan Jackson Lodge No. ,.
Meets every Wednesday at Castle
Hall, Cor. Main & Walnut SITS.
w. H. Parker, C. C.
]. A. Shall, Act'g K.R.& S. & MF.
u Mckinley Lodge No. 154.
Meets every Friday at Castle Hall,
Cor. Main and Walnut SITS.
Harvey T. Wells, C. C.
NJ. Cowan, K. OF r. & S.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-09-08
W. R. HARVEY
G.. E. & Land Surveyor
9O1 Main Street
Phone 353

Detailed reports made on prospective
loans and purchases of real estate in
the Yazoo Delta.
Before you buy or loan, let me re-
port on soil, drainage, acreage, num-
Der of acres cleared, number of acres
in woods, location and improvements.
Thirty-fve years experience in
land surveying in the Delta.
References: E. N. Thomas, Attor-
ney-at-Law; Jas S. Pobcrtshaw,
President Citizens Gam. HUI: Wat
son. Attorney - NV p Watts,
President of Isal,z q Was 'l;ngton;
R. B. Campbell At orrey -at-Law;
Made Nes,,s. y sidei FIRST Nation
Il Bank.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14
"Alone? Neverr he protested, with

"Alone? Neverw he protested, with
vehemence.
4 hate to keep you away from
church on the only day in the year you
ever co. she said.
''See here" said he, well cOmnro-
mise. Well attend service this morn
ing at place where your hat will not
be conspicuous-at a place. in fact,
where they will never know whether
it is Of the winter variety or the latest
Easter creation. Will you go?"
"Of course 1 WILL she replied.
They took suburban car and rode
TO the end Of the route. Then they
walked a mile or so along a secluded
road and presently turned into clump
of woods.
Elizabeth looked about her with in
terest, then turned to her companion.
And where is the church?" she
asked.
=" The groves were Gods first tenn
ples,'" he quoted serenely.
Il believe you're glad the hat didn't
come" she said.
He regarded her with quiet amuse-
ment
II believe am" he returned.
II don't believe my hat will be IN
duly criticised here" she said, with a
meaning glance in his direction.
''And I shall have you all to my
SELF" he said, with content. Lets
perch on the fence and have an Easter
service for two. There is at least one
devout worshiper here" he said point
edly.
They climbed the low fence and sat
down on the top rider. The air was
soft, and it was freighted with the
smell of warm, wet earth. The sun
eight through the branches made an
interviewer shadow fabric on the
ground. Bird voices piped with a pleas
ant pIaintiveness.
''It's good to be alive" he comment
ed.
isn't it?'' she said.
''And to be here" he went on.
Rather than at the Church of the
Apostles?" she asked.
Decidedly he averred. give much
more courage here"
''More courage?" she questioned.
eyes. More courage to make an
Easter confession" he explained
''Shall 1 be given absolution?'
''That depends. 1t isn't murder, is
ito"
"More like suicide, imagine" he re-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14

common property The genesis Of the
Easter rabbit, for instance is involved
IN much Obscurity. 1t is known that
the rodent was used for sacrificial pur-
poses long before the foundation of
Christianity, and also that it was an
animal sacred to Eastre, goddess of
light, from whose name our term Eas-
Ter is supposed to be derived.
How the rabbit became the custo-
dian of the nest of gayly colored Eas-
ter eggs is no mystery to the German
Goymaker. Each district has it's own
popular variant. Baden's legend is as
follows:
In the mountains overlooking Fret
burg early in the twelfth century there
was an abbey of Benedictines who
dominated the spiritual affairs Of the
entire countryside. At the abbey
church the Easter festival was always
celebrated with marked splendor, and
1t was visited on those occasions by
the %devout from all Germany One of
che chief attractions of the great feast
was series of religious tableaux rep
Wesenting the leading events in the
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14

turned grimIy. ''You won't laugh at it,
will you?" he said, with very apparent
anxiety.
''The seal of the confessional, you
know" she said. Certainly not.''
He thoughtfully studied a neighbor-
ing tree The girl was covertly watch
ing him with curious eyes.
I'm almost afraid to confess" he
said at length.
''It must be a grievous SIM" she OBJ
served.
81 fear you'll think it isl said he
There was silence again for some mo-
ments. Then he Strengthened himself
and cleared his throat.
81 love you,'' he said simply '"Thats
the confession"
The color surged into the girls face
She turned away her head so that her
face was hidden.
do l get absolutiOn2" ne asked
anxi0usly.
mo-" she said, her head still turned
away.
The ensuing silence was decidedly
tense. The man broke it.
Anyway, I'm glad l confessed" he
said stOutly.
The girl made no reply.
"Well," he said finally, 81 suppose
we'd better go back"
He helped her from the wall, and
they walked back toward the road.
The mans face was very grave. He
could not see the laughter lurking in
the girls eyes.
Il thought perhaps you might have
surmised as much" he said, and his
voice was grave.
"Well, l have" she answered def
antly.
MAY I ask, then, why my confess
sion was not granted absolution?' he
said
"Because-well, because it's-it's only
sins that are absolved," she replied.
"And we owe it to the hat" said he.
'"That didn't come" she laughed
softly. T. BLAIR EATON.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14
A SNOW WHITE RABBIT LEAPED FROM THE NEST

Scriptural account of the resurrection,
and preliminary to this was given
sort of object lesson in the meaning of
fhe mysterious process. In the course
s0f Ehis latter feature a huge nest OF
beautifully colored eggs-which are
symbolic of the resurrection-was the
deus eX machina.
On the afternoon of Holy Saturday
Father Boniface, the young monk who
nad charge of this important duty,
ecraved an audience with the abbot Of
che foundation.
'sAlas, my lord" said the young
tmonk ,dejectedly, "the foxes have eaten
every chicken belonging to the abbey.
They have, in fact, eaten every chicken
I'm the country, and there isn't an egg
TO be had for love or money"
Then why haven't you seen to it
t-hat we were rid of the pests?" the
sabbor asked severely.
Because your lordship has ordained
tha.t no living thing which is mention
ed with respect in the sacred Scrip
cures shall be hurt, and the fox is men
I1oned therein and almost always re-
spectfully," Father Boniface reminded
him.
The Benedictine smiled family. 1.-THE
Eox is 4 sly sinner, but he should not
5be permitted to outwit community
living under the rule Of the blessed
Benedict" he said dryly. In the good
Old days, my brother, you would have
gone directly to heaven with your
Inlaint and not to your abbot"
The young monk betook himself
p the chapel and passed the night
IN vigil At early dawn he arose from
mis- aching knees and sought the nest
which ne had left empty. AS he APP
preached snow white rabbit leaped
from the nest, and the delighted monk
saw that once again in the history Of
nOly things the sly old fox had been
aoutmatched, for the nest was filed
with eggs more splendid in their hues
anan his feeble art had ever been able
I'D provide.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14
The Great World Map.

Geographers representing the prin-
cipal nations are at work upon a map
Of the entire earth on a scale Of 1 to
100000, and Professor Pench, the
German geographer. reports that six
ty-nine sheets out Of 437 planned had
been completed up to March last. A
distance of one mile will be repre-
sented by a space of about one-si1>
teenth Of an inch long. There are, OF
course. many maps of small areas on
a much larger scale than this, but to
represent the whole face of the known
world on this scale is an undertaking
OF vast interest. Bits.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14
Two dollars and a shirt.

There formerly resided at Peaks Isl
and, Me-, an artist named Hathaway.
whose studio was located near the
steamboat landing. The character of
the transient visitors which comprised
the bulk of the travel to that resort
was illustrated by the reply the artist
gave to one of mis- patrons, who re-
marked that probably he found few
purchasers of his works.
"That is so,' replied NJ. H., with
mournful shake of his head 1.-The ma
jOrity of people who come to this
place have 50 and a shirt and don't
change either while they are here"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14

A writer in an eastern paper mourns
the passing Of the old red damask
tablecloth. The old red tablecloth al
ways gave the impression Of comfort
and good cheer, while the white cloth
stands for coldness and Formally, and
Is suggestive Of the clothesline wav-
old red table covering. with grandma
pouring the tea and seeing that US
young ones got an extra piece Of pie.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14
Clears The Complexion.

Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup stimuli
ates the liver and thoroughly cleanses
the system and clears the complex
ion of pimples and blotches. It is the
best laxative for women and children
as it is mild and pleasant, and does
not grippe or sicken. Orino is much
superior to pills, aperient waters ana
all ordinary cathartics as it does not
irrltate The stomach and bowels.
j. Z. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14
Chronic Bronchitis Cured

For ten years had chronic bronr-
chlCls SO bad that at times [ could not
speak ABOVE whisper" writes AR
JQseph CoHman, of Montmorenci, Ind.
Gfleo all remedies available, but
Wild no success. Fortunately my EN-
ployer suggested that I fry F0laT's
Honey and Tar. It's effect was sIn1os+
miraculous, and l am now cnrad ~ Ia
disease. On my recommendation,
many people have used Folev's Hone
and Tar, and always with satisfaction
j. L. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14
Religious Frsedom in Rusaia.

1t is stated that ten persons have
left the orthodox church Of Russia ant
united with the Swedish Lutheran ST
Catharine's congregation in st. Peters
burg. When the new members We're
received by the pastor Of the congre
CATION, the church was filled to its ut
most capacity. These ten person.
were the first who took advantage OF
the cars late ukase giving religious
freedom.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14
Worst Pan IL.

"I ours. of course. is a solemn usi-
ness said the frie,sd, ''but there isn't
much work about 1t, is there?"
"WelL" replied the undertaken,
''there isn't much physical labor. But
it's pretty hard sometimes when you've
just heard a crAckerjack funny story
and daren't tell it to single soul, al
though the house of the deceased is
fairly jaDImed with people. detroit
Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14
A Chattanooga Druggists Statement

Robt. J. Miller, Proprietor of the
Read House drug store of Chatta
nooga, Tenn, writes: "There is more
merit in Foley's Honey and Tar than
in any other cough syrup. The calls
for it multiply wonderfully and we
sell more of it than all other cough
syrups combined. J. 7. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14

You feel the life giving current the
minute you take it. A gentle sooth
ing warmth. fills the nerves anc
blood with life; it's real pleasure tc
take HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain Tea
80 cents, Tea or Tablets. J. T.Bennett
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14
FRUITS AND PLANTS

When one buys fruits or plants, it
is important that they get the very
best Of thrifty plants, and those true
to name. A local nurseryman must
rely on local trade, and therefore
cannot substitute one variety for
another, or he will soon lose his
trade. To be sure of getting Just
what you order, try the
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14

This is She season of listlessness
headaches and spring disorders. Hol
listers Rocky Mountain Tea is a sure
preventative. Makes you strong and
vigorous. 50 cents Tea or Tablets.
j. L. Bennett
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14

a Japanese fisherman has caught a
Honolulu a new and strange fish
which, so far as known, is unique
The fish is called the frog fish, be
cause of the fact that besides fms anC
gills, it has four well-developed leg
and feet, the feet being even provide
with toenails.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14
Pneumonia is Robbed of It's Terrors.

By Foley's Honey and Tar. It stops
the racking cough and heals and
time it will prevent an attack of pneu-
monia. Refuse substitutes. j. Z. Ben
nett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14

Emperor William has made an in
novation in the German army by ap.
pointing Baron Karl Mayer Won Roths-
child. jew as an officer
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-04-14
Lancaster Nursery

Will spring OEu0E. nave your
order booked now, and get the
ground ready as early in the Spring
as poss1ble-then telephone or drop
a postal card to have the stock ship
ped.
RASPBERRY PLANTS,
Greg black, very strong plants, 50 90
per 100.
Kansas black, $2.OOper 100.
Columbia purple, don't spread, So. 90
per 100.
STRAWBERRY PLANTS.
Jessie, S, Columbia, S, Warfeld, o.
Aroma, S, Bubaha, p, Sample, p, Ed
gar Queen, p, Green's unnamed, ban
ner flavor, S, 75c per 100 or So. 90
per 1000.
ASPARAGUS.
Vicks mammoth White, soc per 100.
GRAPES.
Black Wonder, Moore's Early.
Champion Eatoy White. Niagara and
Empire State, all $1.25 per doz.
CURR ANTS.
Fay's Prolific, $125 per doz.
Anyone wanting Evergreens will
profit by calling or me. / can fur
nish you frst-class stock at right
prices.
Orders by mail must be accompan-
led by remittance. May be found
at all times at my residence, first
house south of North School. Mad
ison street. Visitors always wei
come.
A. J. HOWELL, PROP.
FA 1FaoFs LANCASTER, WIS,
References: Either bank, or any
business place ir Lancaster