The San Francisco call., 1906-06-19


formed guardians had not been in con-
stant readiness to respond to the beck
or call of Mrs. Henry Obirst. with
whose family he dweIt under canvas in
Golden Gate Park, his slumber would
not have been disturbed by the infan-
tryrnan who subsequently, dragged him
to prison. Indeed. he was convinced
that the lady's wrath against him
would have evaporated with the night,
as it oft before had melted. when their
mutual roof was composed of shingles.
Bud yoosd because she knew der
sodgers ouidside of der tent vass she
keeb oop der medness yed," he further
eXpounded.
1t seemed that Mr.. obirst, also a car
penter, had hinted he would like to
treat his family to change of diet
from the regulation relief rations, but
he was short of cash and absolutely de-
void of credit at meat market. With
out further ado Mr.. Miller. to whom a
wink was as ineligible as a nod when
his philanthropy was touched, bought
pot roast" and informally presented
it to Mrs. ODrst. taking care to spare
that lady the humiliation of feeling She
was an object of his charity.
Instead of accepting the gift in, the
same good spirit that had inspired it's
donation, however, she felt of il, sn1elt
of it and pronounced it both tough and
stale
"Mooch,' she is reported to have said
in tone of contempt, does you nod
know abouid pod roasts, dinks, MEN. y
Though hurt in feelings. Mr. Miller
simply suggested that the meat might
improve with cooking and then ex-
pressed hope that 1t would be the
piece de resistance of that days dinner.
His hope was literally verified When
placed upon the table it resisted Mrs
Obirsts most strenuous endeavor to
dissect it.
ZACH. Gottr she exclaimed despair
ingly. Der chunk of COW dis cannot
be. Der hunk of hobby horse it iss If
yer vands me ter cud i'd, blease der
bucksaw ged.'
Merely retorting with IF i'd es tough
es your gretiteod iss der tynamide
wouldn't shplid i'd he withdrew from
the table and went to bed to take his
dinner out in Slumber.
"Und id vass hours lader," he con-
cluded. 'und aschleep der soundly i
vass ven der sodger boxed his gon mine
ribs into und sez, Ged oop. .vod iss p
l sez. arresd YOU he sez, foah der
insooldry.' sVod insooldry? esks. Der
insooldry of Mrs. Obirst. the sez Und
der log-up he puds me in"
And you did not commit insultery'
at all?" the Judge listless1y murmured.
'Nein. Und if der sodgers vass nod
near der insooldry she would nod hey
imedgined, und mine arresd hev golden.
Bud ven der sodgers arrount abouid iss
der vimmens de graziness geds, yess. y
Probably the ladies like to see the
military in action" his Honor remarked
Then he dismissed the complaint of
peace disturbance on which Mr. Miller
had been arrested
When his cow diad TJoprxy Do.o1x~.
dairyman on Thirty fourth street, re-
moved the hide and notified the gar
bage crematory folk to remove the car
cass, but they ignored the notification.
ne alleges, until the odor emitted by
the decaying meat led to his arrest for
maintaining a public nuisance. He
pleaded to Judge Conlan that illness
public health, but he was pronounced
guilty just the same and remanded for
sentence today
One witness for the prosecution gave
such graphic description of the appear
ance of the defunct cow and the effects
or the stencil arising from it that sew
eral persons became wan of counte-
room, and the Judge was forced to muz-
zie the raconteur
Dark-eyed and defiant, Miss Ella
Johnson faced little Mrs. Leslie Falken-
burg, whose rather worthless spouse
she was accused of having stolen, and
pleaded not guilty to the charge of va
grancy which had been utilized as pre-
text for her arrest and CONSEQUENT
sundering of the unholy alliance Her
age was reported to be 19 years, and she
looked as if she had lived every minute
or thirty, and at high pressure, too.
You say she alienated your hus-
bands affection?" said Judge NIogan,
addressing the diminutive matron.
Yes, sir; and she's a desolate charac-
ter, was the reply.
Miss Johnson laughed outright and
Mr.. Falkenburg palpably struggled to
Keep his weak countenance III reposc
His Honor rebuked the merriment with
frown and enlightened Mrs. Fal]Scn-
burg as to its cause by kindly remark
ing A dissolutc character. eh?'
The1small woman was visibly vexed
by theSexpose of her ignorance. but she
pluckily resumed the charge. Yes; and
after he took away our two kids he
went alvin with her In tent back Of