Gilpin observer., 1906-02-15
OPTIGRAMS

An inquisitive public is eagerly await
ing information as to where Alexander
Dowie got that s21 OO,OO000 he recently
willed to "Zion."
Bad English-A Butte woman was re-
Gently convicted of manslaughter for
killing another woman.
The average woman is happy if she i'm
agines she has cause to worry about her
husbands underwear being out Of sea
Bon.
The vexed servant girl problem does
not worry those of us who, through force
Of circumstances, are compelled to exist
on about $4,000 a year.
There is a man over in Utah who has
so many wives he does not know what
time to get up in the morning.
The recent assertion of an eminent
scientist that prunes are good brain food
probably accounts for the editor of the
Bladder buying up all he could find dur
ing the past few days.
The Spice of Life-In a sermon on
dancing Denver minister said 'the
man who delights in whirling his better
half is as rare as he who welcomes the
saving of wood by moonlight"
The Colorado Springs bride who found
baby in a basket on the front porch
the other morning is no doubt now a
firmer believer than ever in the story Of
the stork.
The assertion Of New York paper
that Russell Sage has skinned practically
all of his relatives Of their worldly po
sessions is pretty we'll verified by the re
cent discovery of an aged pauper- cousin
at Toledo, on the verge of starvation.
Accidents will happen-It is reported
by yellow journal that Chicagos ex-
elusive four hundred who reside along
the lake front on Michigan avenue, haye
produced but one baby in the past eight
years, the monotony having been but
recently broken by Hanore Palmer and
his wife.
An Ogden woman who abstained from
drinking water for fourty eight years
calls to mind the case of Milwaukee
man who drank no beer for nearly three
years. These people, especially the lat
ter are living examples of the power OF
mind over matter.
The fact that forty pound bell clap
per fell from the tower of Presbyterian
church out in Oregon, and barely missed
hitting the head Of the pastor sexton
who was tollpg the bell at the time
should be an object lesson to Presbyter.
ian churches that are too stingsy to EN-
ploy regular sexton.
Wasco boasts OF another "Stingiest
Man cn Earth" who after reducing his
weight from 800 pounds to 2l1 by two
year course Of apti-fat treatment, is now
worrying because Of the uselessness Of
the clothes he shrunk away from.
We note from our Alice Lee Roosevelt.
Nicholas Longworth wedding invita-.
tions just at hand that the couple are
to be married from 1870 to 3 o'clock:
this seems to be pretty long time to get
married in, but possibly the hours sreci
fed include the honeymoon.
n Sood bhNiuSb arc nov
advertising small pocket banks free to
customers, but even this is no tempta
ton to the average editor who finds it
tiresome enough to navigate with his poe
kets filled with coin, to say nothing OF
packing around bank or two.
The editor Of the Bladder is authority
for the statement that "sefishness is the
guiding spirit Of mankind:" Judging
from hearsay there is no doubt but what
the guiding spirit will safely pilot this
literary barnacle over life's stormy sea.
The absent. minded Chicago man
which recent dispatch tells Of having
mysteriously "left his residence in his
shirt sleeves" reminds one Of the local
would be sport so frequently seen about
town with a stove or two in his hat and
a pipe in his mouth.
NEVER SAID NEIGH
There was an old man from Ouregh
Who spent all his time eating heigh;
So his voice became horse
And he died Of remorse
For their really was no other weigh.
The editor has received good many
complaints recently in reference 20 Ger.
tain ladies here who persist in making
calls at meal time, and all Of these com.
muDications we have turned over TO the
police. 1t IL said that, with but few ex
ceptions, these ladies' are the same ones