St. Tammany farmer., 1906-03-03
tcopyrightedl
Oily Learns Few Things About
Society.

sAAO NOPy VI AC I1Ol ACv AV u4u VCSk
perusing, tell me what is society?"
Society, my dear nephew" said Un
Gle George, genially, as he carelessl,
stood blotting pad against the rather
frank outlines Of a Psyche that re
posed upon the library table, society
Is curious phase Of human existence
which has no reasonable excuse for be
ing other than to furnish a livelihood
to some altogether undeserving person.
who would better be forced to go t
work. 1n other words. my boy. SO
.ciety is but a federation and has nj
real status other than what it make.
itself.
"Once upon time 1t was alleged te
be q collection Of men and women o1
extreme culture and learning, whe
banded together to boost mankind uI
q couple of intellectual notches, but
to-day the designation is altogethei
reversed. Instead of being cultured
society folk are rude and f1nicky. In
stead of being learned, they are some
what hollow tanked, and instead ot
using the elevator. they put the reverse
English on brains
DO not persons of massive intellect
gambol in society, dear uncle?" In
quired little Dilly.
Not so you could notice it," replied
Uncle George "The terms are not By
any means synonymous It would be
fatal to social success to have the &C
cusation of mentality brought against
one. In other words, Dilly, II you
would enter society you should take
primary course in the nearest absurd
mansion. Society, however, serves q
great and good purpose. It is wrone
to cavil at it, and we should frown
upon every attempt to do away with
social functions. The Mcentious press,
Dilly, occasionally aims bitter blow
at society, but society does not care
two whoops In Gehenna, for it re.
aiizes its divine purpose. which, my
boy, is that noble profession OF making
the world laugh heartily. To be con-
else, my dear boy, society is the low
comedian Of life, ana Is permitted to
draw comfortable salary for its Ia
bors. y
Il like to 90 to Newport In the
summer, Dilly. for there see much
to amuse me. realize at once that
Newport Is the national safety valve,
and that without 1t many of us would
go down to our graves without smil-
ing. Cruel persons have limited that
social usage is q blow at our vested
equality in life and punch in the eye
to our national freedom, but this is
not true. Had we no society we would
know little Of the habits Of the SINH
ans. and all DR.. Garner's work would
be in vain. So closely is society
aping DR.. Gamers proteges, my dear
nephew. that shortly we may expect to
see the higher lights Of that circle
rising intellectually to the dizzy
heights where they will be able to
climb rainpipes and ask for pennies.
1T is at Newport that society Is
freest in its scorn for the conven-
tionalities, but one need not confine
oneself to Newport, for any really I'M
respectable resort will answer all pur-
poses. There one may see the care
free devotees Of fashion exhibit them
selves with all the abandon Of an
unrestrained lack Of vitality. Would
you wish to observe the very latest
thing in 4 travelling companion? Go
to the nearest resort and gaze on
Mrs. Stuyvesant De We're as she rolls
haughtily along with her pet pedi-
greed porker, dressed In diamond col
lar and an ermine bib. at her side"
"But, dear uncle" asked little Dill
". 'are not the members Of society
supposed to pose as m example to. the
common people?
sUndoubtedly, my dear nephew" !"
said Uncle George. They are sup
posed to pose as an example. but there
are various kinds Of an example.
Most frequently 1t il an example that
gets sidetracked and winds up with
q brutal crash on the pavement Of
But there, we should not
be bitter to these poor people. Were
# not for their openhanded generosity
many publications that are issued
weekly would never survive the first
financial frost. To my mind there is
no more elevating spectacle than to
see the editor Of the society weekly
calling upon the cotillon leader at ar
early morniAg Eour. The editor is a
manly person. with all the human
zraces stamped upon his face The
,otillon leader Is somewhat distrait
md is attired In q yellow bathrobe
with carpet slippers on his feet One
watches carefully and listens intently
md hears the editor remark that 1t
was a beautiful night for drive, to
which the cot!!lon leader petulant1y
agrees, whereupon the editor inquiries.
lelicately, for the health Of lady
whose first name begins with Helen,
md as the cotillon leaders wife's name
. Maud. the latter hastily pushes =
oil of coarse mfcrobeinfested cur.
ency into the editors hand and begs
Inn to send three copies of his forth
oming book 70 any address he sees
1t. There are many coarse persons.
)tlly, who would perceive Z hint Of
omething wrong III the transaction,
nut that is only the low portion Of
heir minds acting without thought. /
he editor Is gentleman and he
at once that his inquiry
ras iil-timed and that he was being
eproved gently but firmly. =