The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1906-03-13
Bings' Bargain
By
LAURA ALTON PAYNE
Copyright. 1906, by Mcclure. Philips & Co.

then as a happy afterthought, Mann
ma 'ove Bings," at which frank and
wholly unexpected revelation of her
small daughter the pretty Widows face
rivaled Bings.
Whitlock guffawed "Now's your
chance, Blngs," he urged, with mali
cious levity at his rivals discontinue.
But Bings, with a hasty adieu, fed,
leaving the cherub disconsolate.
Bings metaphorically kicked himself
all the way home for not taking ad-
vantage of the best opportunity he had
ever had, even If it was before the
sneering Whitlock, and for his cow
ardly desertion of the pretty widow to
Whitlock's caustic raillery.
Bings paused at his own gate and
gazed misera bly, at the big silent house.
! He shut his eyes moment and mag
ined he saw the pretty widow and the
cherub sitting on the front porch. 1t
was a blissful vision, but Bings felt
that it would never become a blissful
reality unless miracle happened.
Bings was a bachelor, Bings was big
and blond and bald, Bings was BASH
ful-in fact, Bings was whole swarm
of "B's." He narrowly escaped being
beauty with his baby complexion
and innocent blue eyes His size was
the only thing that saved him from this
terrible fate. Moreover, Bings was
bargain fiend. No woman could scent
bargain sale farther off than could
Billy Bings. Incidentally Billy was
the climax to Bings' woes. But no per-
suasion on his part could convince his
friends of the absurdity of calling a
six footer Billy.
Bings' bachelorhood was a condition
Of neither birth nor achievement-it
was thrust upon him. During his evo-
luton into that state there had been
any one of a dozen maids and widows
that Bings would have been only too
happy to have endowed with half his
worldly goods but for his excessive
bashfulness. Never yet had he been
able to screw his courage up to the
point of proposal. though he had made
almost superhuman efforts In that d.
rection.
This seemed pity, for Bings was
undeniably cut out for a Benedict. He
thought all women angels and all
babies cherubs.
AS he started uptown on the mo-
mentous morning after his precipitate
fight Bings had particular cherub in
mind-a pretty, brown eyed, dimpled
cherub that he would have given half
he was worth to possess and the other
half to possess the cherubs pretty,
brown eyed mother. But so far every
glance from Mrs. Jessie Moffatt's ro-
guish eyes had produced the unfortu-
nate effect of instantaneous paralysis
Of poor Bings' tongue, so that he could
only stand dumb or blush and STAN
mer like any silly schoolboy.
This was not the first time by any
means that Bings had performed that
metaphorical feat 1t had been at least
semiweekly occurrence for several
months past Each time Bings vowed
that the next time he would not act
the fool But he did. He had reached
the point where the inevitable mental
feat was copiously punctuated with 9
vigorous ejaculation that would have
shocked the pretty widow had she
heard it.
Bings felt his helplessness bitterly
So absorbed was he in this thought as
he picked his way along the shady
street that he failed to observe the
widow block or so ahead of him.
deep gloom enveloped Bings' soul that
bright June morning.
"Confound itp' he muttered. 'Tf
something doesn't happen soon ZIP
"Going. going-gonew
Bings pricked up his ears and has
tened his steps. An auction. and he
not to know it? Turning a corner, he
came full upon a familiar scene just
as a table was knocked down to the
highest bidder Bings' eyes gloated
over the unusual display Of household
goods spread before him.
"Fifty centsw bid a voice in the
crowd as the auctioneer held up an
article. 1t was Whitlock's voice. Bings'
wrath famed up, and before he had
time to think he was bidding furiously
against his rival. Fast In the grip Of
bargain fever and whetted on by
Whitlock, Bings rapidly became pos
SCISSOR of various articles that were Of
as much use to him at that period Of |
his existence as celestial harp and a
pair of wings. Had Bings intercepted
the exchange of winks between Whit
lock and the auctioneer he might have
been more cautious. AS 1t was, the
barricade around Bings grew and grew.
Going, going = gonev' shouted the
auctioneer. Dirt cheap at that, Mr..
Bings. Here, Sam, wheel this peram-
bulator around to Mr.. Bings."
Perambulator! Heavens! Had he
bought a perambulator? Bings wiped
his perspiring brow and glared defiant
ly around.
"Why. Billy Bingsw cried laughing
feminine voice at his elbow. what
do you want with perambulatorT
Bings' exasperated gaze encountered
that of Mrs Marston, merry faced
woman. By her side stood the pretty
widow with the coveted cherub cling
Ing to her hand.
Bings turned fiery red and caught
1t to be, only to find that he was fan
ming himself with It, Making an en-
barrassed bow, he began to mop his
perspiring face violently.
Here's yer p'ramb'lat'r," said Sam
laconically, pausing in front OF Bings
Bings turned fascinated eyes on the
thing, which seemed to him to have
in eli &c
progress from the auctioneer's stand.
"And a baby's high chair" announced
another laughing voice as the speaker
craned forward and inspected Bings'
barricade
There was general craning of necks.
And a little red rocker" exclaimed
another
"a doll-and doll carriage"
"a child's cot"
''Footstool, work basket, sewing chair
and sewing machine" enumerated
Whitlock pushing nearer. Great Ju-
piter, Bings! What does this meant"
with mock severity.
Poor Bings thanked his stars that
none of them knew of that cradle In
the attic, the result of former aberra-
ton. He gazed helplessly around at
his tormentors, then at his barricade.
What on earth had induced him 10 bid
in all that stuff
He had made himself SO ridiculous in
her eyes he'd not stand ghost Of
show now. The only thing left for him
to do was to make his escape as best
he could.