The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1906-06-28

I'LL, smut raced ana blue OVeralleu.
Ills a fair afternoon, l said, "but
bids to be COLDER
did l ever tell you," began Krksy
honorably, "about the time Henry
Horsecollar and me took a photograph
to South American" And l felt asham-
ed of my subterfuge and d''opped into
the wooden chair he kicked coward me-
Henry was a quarter breed quar-
terback Cherokee, educated east in the
idioms of football and west in contra
band whisky, and gentleman, same
as YOU or me. He was easy and romp-
ing in his ways; man about six foot,
with a kind of rubber tire movement.
Henry and me met at TeXarkana
and figured out this photograph
scheme. He had $500 which came to
him out of land allotment in the
reservation. l had run down from Lit
tie Rock on account of a distressful
scene l had witnessed on the street
there. A man stood on Il box and pass
ed around some gold watches, screw
case stem winders, Elgin movement,
very elegant. Twenty bucks they cost
you over the counter. At So the crowd
fought for the tickers. The man hap
pened to find valiSe full of them
handy, and he passed them out like
putting hot biscuits ON plate. The
backs We're hard to umscrew, but the
crowd put its ear to the case, and they
licked notifying and agreeable. Three
of those watches were genuine tickers,
but the rest, they We're only kickers.
Hey? Why, empty cases, with one
of them horny black bugs that fly
around electric lights in 'em. Them
bugs kick off minutes and seconds in
luStrious and beautiful. The man
was speaking of cleaned up $2SS and
went away, because he knew that when
it came to wind watches in Little Rock
an entomologist would be needed, and
he wasn't one.
80, as l say, Henry had $500 and
had $2sS. The phonograph idea was
Henry's, but l took to it freely, being
fond of machinery of all kinds.
I'VE bought a fine phonograph in
TeXarkana-on of the best make
and half trunkful of records. We
packed up and took the T. and p. for
New Orleans. From that celebrated
center of molasses and disfranchised
coon songs we took steamer for-yes,
think it was South America or Mexico
Il am full of inability to divulge the To-
cation of tits on the rural delivery
map, it's colored yellow on the map
and branded with the literature of
cigar boxes.
I'VE landed on a smiling coast at a
town they denounced by the name. as
near as l can recollcct, of Sore-toe
kangaroo. Twas a palatable enough
place to look at The houses We're
clean and white sticking about among
the scenery like hard boiled eggs serv-
ed with lettuce. There was a block Of
skyscraper mountains in the suburbs,
and they kept pretty quiet, like they
were laying one finger on their lips
and watching the town. And the sea
was remarking 'Sh-sh-sh" on the beach.
and now and then a ripe cocoanut
would fall kerflip in the sand, and that
was all there was doing.
1.-The captain went ashore With us
and offered to conduct what he seemed
to like to call the obsequies. He intro
duced Henry and me to the United
States consul and roam man, the head
of the department of mercenary and
licentious disposition, the way it read
upon his sign.
81 touch here again week from
today says the captain.
"'By that time we told him, well
be amassing wealth in the interior
towns with our galvanized prima
donna and correct limitations of Sousa's
band excavatiilg march from Il tin
nine
"'Ye'll not says the captain. Yen
be hypnotized. Any gentleman in the
audience who kindly steps upon the
stage and looks this country i'll the eye
will be converted to the hypothesis
that he's but Il fly in the Elgin cream
cry Yell be standing knee deep in
the surf waiting for NE, and your ma
chine for making hamburger steak out
of the hitherto respected art of music
will be playing There's no place like
home."'
Henry skinned a twenty off his roll
and received from the bureau of mer-
cenary dispositions paper bearing a
red seal and Il dialect story, and no
change.
"Then we got the consul full of red
wine and struck him for Il horoscope.
He was thin, youngish kind of man,
l should say past fifty, sort of French
Irish in his affections and puffed up
with disconsoation. Yes, he was
fiattened kind of Il man in whom drink
lay stagnant, inclined to corpulence
and misery. Yes, l think he was Il
kind of Dutcllman, being very sad and
genial in his ways.
",'The marvellous invention he says,
entitled the photograph has never be-
fore invaded these shores. The people
have never heard it. They would not
believe it If they should. Simple
hearted children of nature, progress
has never condemned them to accent