Omaha daily bee., 1906-02-18
READY FOR A HARD
DAYS WORK.

however. and he has played 1t, that the
above idea of his cacchnatory antics loses
It's consequence and is supplanted by ear
splitting guffaws, Indian war whoops, in
ternal commissions and intense outside
wriggling-a sort OF St Vitus aggregation
OF all human emotion wherein the humor-
ISL were he photographed at these times,
might present the picture Of two whirllng
cats In an unsettled argument. Twain was
undoubtedly born with this laugh, for he
had 1t with him when a youngster in the
early days Of Nevada. and 1t seems never
to have left him. though he is old enough
now to know better
We were youngsters together, Twain and
l, In the Far West. and were quite friend
ly for several decades, until dramatIzed
one OF his books and did II so badly that
ne gave me the cold glove ever after.
However, before this calamity" he met
me on Broadway one day and asked IL
would accompany him TO a banquet to be
given In his honor that evening by the
Followcraft Club as being the guest, It
would not look well to see him arriving in
a coupe all alone and meeting so large
company OF first class people single
handed
But. Mark" 1 said, II haven't a dress
suit within fifty miles"
Aw, never mind" he replied, leaning
up against me and perfuming my person
with breath that must have cost him
hluch money, its stag affair and you
won't need 1t. I'm going in these buds"
me was wearing an ordinary business
suD.
That's all right, but all the same l
would hate to be seen among a LOT Of
fashionables In this rig as your guest and
you IN freshly pressed dress suit"
No fashion about it," he drawled in re-
Ply. Only the newspaper boys will be
there, and you know EN- all"
WeL' III take your word for it, though
KNOW how you used TO shatter that"
When the Joke Came.
lie threw his composite laugh at ma
and left, but promptly at half-past nine In
the evening he called for me in coupe
IL was a cold night and he was hermeti-
caliy wrapped in a huge ulster. and 1
could only see that he had on a clean col
lar, an unusual decoration for him | was
still clad in my hand-me-down everyday
suit' brushed TO a point of passable neat
ness. We soon arrived at the clubroom
and judge Of my surprise when we found
ourselves in the midst of an immediately
attlreu assemblage Of gentlemen, every one
IN evening dress! After the humorist had
peen cordially greeted and we were shown
our positions at the table | began to feel
squeamish at my appearance and was CIV
Ing vent to little silent sympathy for
Mark, believing him to be similarly
clothed, when, to my unutterable disgust
I"hen the colored attendant relieved him
IoI MS ulster, Twain stood at my side in
highly polished evening suit with an am
Iplitude OF shirt front that would have done
credit to laundry show window l was
the only vagabond in the room! The stu
alton was painful enough but was intensi-
ned when, pointing to me. he loudly re-
le quested somebody to remove this tramp
" from the room!" Then came that thorax
breaking laugh of his. which infected the
70 whole company and turned the sandwiches
" over In their plates. He had played his
III joke al my expense but for what reason
never could learn. He just wanted to do
u 1t. and load was off his mind. lie often
has these spells. IL l could have then and
n there rolled Twain down the stairs in a
- barrel filled with hornets / would have
experienced ineffable pleasure.
But few men have a more retentive mem
" DRY than the renowned humorist. He will
" " listen to story, joke or qup and store
~ 1t In one corner of his porous mind and
"a years after spring 1t on an unsuspecting
. company of genial spirits embellishinR il
~ IN his own inimitable style, giving 1t a
m polished air OF originality and accentuat-
o. Ing Its humor by his peculiar drawing
: method OF expression. This drawl Is not
70 especially oily or mellihuous. but seems
a, like series of sounds trying 10 force
= their way through an adult polypus and
having hard time OF It, 1t is said he
IL contracted the habit when a boy by re-
N peatedly lying to his father. who usually
~ wore a whiplash behind him In his inter
W views with his son.
d HIS Marvellous Memory.
le AS sample of Twain's wonderful powers
40 of memorlzing, l remember at this same
r banquet. after eight or ten OF the guests
IN had ventilated themselves on various cur
ne sorry and desultory questions, Twain was
lie called upon to say something real cunning
IS. The company settled behind cigars and
in tipped themselves back In their chairs
in hoping that when he opened his mouth
something funny would jump out. Twain
a rose with a fork In one hand and some
= emotion in the other and with a borrowed
P air of profundity proceeded to quote, al
a. most literally. many Of the lengthy SEN
90 fences used by the preceding speakers
n. (Which had been quite forgotten by the
of others and hacked the very life out of
In them with his little Ratchet OF satire. The
H. authors of these sentences fairly squirmed
a. in their trousers while the humorist at
q tackled the weak points OF their remarks
az and laid bare the uncultivated territory IN
their domes OF thought
ct Twain has had lot OF trouble since he
e began to Tow mustlche but I'll wager
at few men have been more thoroughly
r. STEPPED in luxury and simme ing suns ne
en- than this belwether OF American humor
Il! He has left a personal Joke with bubbles
lis all over II In almost every corner OF the
earth; been wined dined and babled by no.
tentates millionnaires female suffre gists
e and hoboes all over the word; has owned
much American soil and given II away:
has had more presents than the Khedi We
of Egypt; has enjoyed himself with Chris
Dh tian Science has had many threadbare es-
IS capes from death and been measured for
OF funeral sermons half dozen times. but
~ never took the goods, and has teen wisely
no permitted 10 live To an age OF discretion.
he Twain has a ssccharine disposition ana a
IL genial personality; Is kind and conslderats
mt 10 his creditors, forgiving to enVious enc
p niles and has Arm will without being a
nd mule: positive with the gas man Yielding
n with the tanitor and can talk to his type
e. writer long after he has anything 10 say.
NJ lie has many other sterling qualities,
e. which the writer hesitates to mention, for
a with all his virtues Twain is a sensitive
n man and chilly an untlpped waiter to
any one who steps on his weak side with
'e out authority.