davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06
MOONSFHINE I'm ALABAMA


the Land of Uz, whose name was Job, =
and that's my handle kin you direck me
to the Medlock deadeni IN = You are in the
trail right now L told lain, Jess keep
straight ahead for a mile and y9un be
thar and he didn't wait for no more
talk from me, but started up his critters
and drive
''The gal looked me in the face while
was speakin to the old man, and she
had eyes jess like pointer pup-soft and
Begin. and one of the palest, sweetest
faces YOU looked at The man had
long white ha'r and beard, but somehow
the rest of him didn' look old nor did
either of em strike me as bein' our sort
of folks.
Medlocxs deadenin' chuck full of brim,
trout and big perch. Every few hundred
yards there was a deep still pool shaded
by beech, cotton wood. Ca-ta lpa. and other
drap into the stream to be snapped up
by fat three pound trout. At other
places it was rocky ana brawlin' along,
windin' up in slide around jutting
boss place for fishin'- and | conducted
some heightened tourists over to this
place in early May. Thar was two of EN-
big bugs they was. sorter idlin' and re-
cuperatin'. and prospect tin Back at their
home they had money enough to choke a
cow. and Presidents of railroad COM
panies. or inshorance du CkS of some kind
THE outfit for fishin thai these par
ties was packin was shore huckeberry
over my persimmon- More masheenery.
and fxins than you ever see, they had
with em; and on their poles. which they
called rods there is bza by windlass with
a handle to 1t. to sorter wind up the slack
like windin' thread spool This yere
contrapshun fools a fish n whole lot. cos
after he is hooked he SnrEes of thinkin
he is loose, but the Teller begins TO turn
the crank of his little wfndlass, and the
line winds up on the spool showing that
finny victim in few IN limits that he is
a ruined commoonity- don't like this
we're way of raisin' false hopes in the
bosom of fish. | wou1dr1-t deloode eel
that way. nor lay il that low down on
nothin that swms. not even gar uses
short pillow line. and a young sapin
which is stiff and stronE- nd when gets
a bite yanks him out nd let's him know
his fate right thar. And that fish never
knows whether it's the jerk out of the
worter. or hittin the Eroun' that slaught-
him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

and along which are scattered the
is the six hundred miles of winding
river between Assouan, the First Car.
aract. and the sea. For the entire dis
lance, until it spreads into fan shap-
ed delta and filters into the Mediter-
ranean. the stream is walled in by
fiat topped hills of barren aspect. They
are capped with limestone and carpet
ed about with shifting sands, and they
look for all the world like the mesas
of New Mexico and Arizona. for they
lie baking in the same kind of clari-
fed sunshine. This meandering hol-
low between the rugged hill ranges
is the Valley of the Nile. Here and
there the hills close in until the river
banks are high and chalky cliffs. AT
one point the valley spreads to a
width of thirty-three miles.
East and west of the hills are vast
areas of desert without even spear
of vegetation except where there is a
miraculous rise of water to the sur
face. The spots are grateful land
marks of tall palms and are known as
GASES.
The Valley of the Nile would be just
as bare and monotonous as an asphalt
pavement were it not for the fact that
once year the Nile overfiows. II
has been overlooking every year for
thousands of years, bringing down
from the mountains of Abyssinia and
the far away regions of tropical rains
spreading volume of muddy water
Every winter. when the dwindling
stream gets back into the customary
bed, it has left layer of black sedi
ment over the inundated district Sc
many lakers of sediment have been
deposited that now the rich black soil
Is thirty to fifty feet deep along the
river. thinning out as it meets the
slope of the desert. Unlike our prai
rie soil of the middle west. the Nile
farm lands are not underlaid with
clay. The Nile soil is black all the
way down to limestone-a fioury min
eral powder of even composition. The
only parts of Egypt which can be cul-
tivated are those touched by the an
nual overflow. Egypt is really rib
bon of alluvial soil following the
stream on either side. The tourist
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

of them new tangled dinguses as he
ginnully yanked EN- out with red worms
and when them didn't prevail, he de-
iooded fish with spittin on the bait. and
latchin' on to them. with a infunt wasp.
Then he tied nail on his line for a
sinker, expectorated on the bait. and
slammed the outfit into the worter like
KILN snakes The Duke and the Com
modore staggered at his crude methods
and laid bets that he wouldn't get a
nbble from a minnow with his style of
fishin' in week. But the Job party
didn't seem to mind much. jess sot there
kickin gravel into the stream. and sung
! Warnt to BE Nangel' at the top of
his voice. and maae as much fuss as a
niger at dance.
1t amooses me- remarked the Duke,
to observe one of these ign'unt rural
amateurs, angle for game fish with their
barbarous methods and deficient tackle
and when they are unsuccessful at
tribute il to the lack of fish in the
stream With that noise and his cotton
line he will never get fish In a mile
of his hook. Why. thunder! if he hasn't
landed trout a foot long, what an
accident
while he was wonderin' by what sort
OF fool eccentricity trout had located
in that place. the old Snoozer gave a
whoop and snatched out a five-pound
ground like planks then spit on his bait
and banged the tackle back into the
worter. He had motions like a thrashin'
masheen, and made fuss like a boss all
the time. He kept up this here incen-
diary condick for a hour, about every
five minutes jerllin' fish out in wide
surkel over his head. f1ngin' 1t the whole
ZENITH of his line ergin the ground. and
whoopin' at suitable intervals. ontil he
had yanked out ten as fine trout as ever
growed. In the meantime my men
hadn't got a nibbe They was powerful
Industrious at tishin'. but nothin' resulted
from their scientific efforts. When the
uz man got good and tired. he omitted his
line, flung his pole in the erik. and lit
out through the woods without sayin'
anything to anybody
THE third day while we was in camp
some United States marshals rid up and
TUX dinner with us. They lowed that
there was some eounterfetin goin on
over in these digeins somers. and they
was kinder huntin' the head duck in the
bizness Information they had from
Headquarters was that the boss artist in
that line was operatin' along Muscadine..
in the nayberhood of Mediocks deaden-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

IIN/ EARS ago. when I'm young and
recent. over the Dark Corner
huntin' deer l tracks up on a
peecooliar outfit. I'm ridins erlong south
of Harrikin when | discerns "a patriarchal
gent drivin' of a Vaughn with two yoke
of oxen hitched in. Them steers peared
to have all they coud do to pull their
freight. tho the Vaughn was mighty
shackly. and didn't pear to have nothin'
in it but some boxes, a lot of housekeepin'
plumber and a gal The nayberhood was
powerful lonesome-poor little hills sparse
Iy timbered. piney woods land thinly set
tied the highest houses bein' five miles
apart. Last place on yearth for a sochul
man to move to-. Nothin' abounded thar
but deer. wild Turkeys. pine knots and
worter Silent, desolate and poverty
struck the appearance of these dig
gins, and folks called these Lakewood set
Elements Dark Corner on account of the
liz nunce and remoteness of the nayber-
hood. 1t was fifteen miles to a railroad,
ten miles to church. and eight miles to
a doctor. The folks what settled over
in them parts ben' some lonely and for
1orn. didn't like to have company, but
lived to thes selves sorter misanthropic,
tharfoar | never had no call to go poster
in among 'em. Good moonshine likker
was produced in these solitudes, and fire.
Quently the long lonely stretches of this
landscape swalloed up Teller that the
sheriff wanted mighty bad. so that I fig
gered it to be a safe play not to be too
rampant TO make acquaintances of these
inha bitants, but to ignore 'em plumb Sc
we're.
This caravan was pintin' out for the
cabin on the Medlock deadenin' in the
widest corner of the section. Old Bill
Medlock had girdled the pine trees on a
poor forty of land. planted a leetle corn,
and then took to havin' chills and fever
regular He stood this about we're. and
then he bowed his brains out, leavin' the
cabin with the door wide open. and no
chick nor child In the wide yearth to
mourn him mint.
II rid up to the whiskered party who
was applyn' the CAD TO them oxen. and
saluted him mighty perlite with Morn
IN. stranger. air you travelin' or goin'
som ers? Sec he There was man In
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

irrigating his little field with the same
rangement that was in use when Jo-
seph came over to Egypt and attracted
the attention of Potiphar's wife. The
Egyptian farmer is called fellah The
clothing that he wears would wad a
gun-that is, a rifle, not shotgun. He
puts in at least fourteen hours day,
and his pay is from ten to fifteen cents.
Mr. Peasley told tourist the other
day that the song, Hes a jolly good
felah," originated in Egypt during the
time of Ptolemies. This is sample of
the kind of idiotic observation that is
supposed to enliven so-called pleas
ure trip.
But let us get back to the river, for
in Egypt one must get back to the river
at least once every twenty minutes.
The Nile is Egypt and Egypt is the
Nile. All this description may sound
like few pages from the trusty red
guide book, and yet the word Egypt
win have no meaning to the reader who
does not get clear panoramic vision OF
this wonderfully slim-waisted country.
Nearly six hundred miles long and yet
containing only twelve thousand five
hundred square miles-about the size
of Maryland
The strip of black land which yields
the plentiful crops is no more than ten
miles wide, a mere fringe of fertility
weaving through the dryness and DESC
ticn. Anywhere along the river If you
will climb to the rocky plateau, you
will see the slow moving river, prob
ably a half mile wide, as glossy
thread, on which are strung fields of
living green, bordered by the dreary
uplifts of desert The traveller who
goes by boat from Cairo to Assouan
sees all of Egypt. The cities and tenn
pies and tombs of olden times were
perched on the high spots or planted
on the bare hills, SO as to be safe from
the annual rise of waters. Anything
worth seeing in the whole country Is
within an easy donkey ride of the river
bans The river is the only artery Of
travel. There is railway. but 1t fol-
lows the river all the way up to As
souan.
1t would seem that the country was
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

the open trap, as all the others had
done. He moved slowly but relent-
lessly into the dread country and built
a railroad as he went along. He car
ried everything that British army
needs-marmalade, polo ponies, Bel
fast ginger ale, timed meats, pipe
clay, etc.
I'VE cannot stampede them, because
stampeding is their speciality said
Kitchener, but | will lick them by
algebra"
He did not say this, because he
never said anything, but this is what
he indicated by his calm preparations.
He knew that the dervishes were
frothing at the mouth and praying
Allah to give them another chance to
swim in gore, SO he simply edged up
to within striking distance of them
and picked out his ground and waited.
A kaleidoscope hero would have gal
1oped up and down the line shouting
Cup men, and at them," But Kitche-
ner was not hero. He was business
manager of an abattoir. His object
Nuo 1ot W Will a SiCat Doltlc, Dul ~
exterminate a species And he proba-
bly, did one of the neatest jobs of house
cleaning on record.
The bloodthirsty mob, led by the
Khalifa. or Dowie, of the Soudan,
charged across an open plain. Each
determined dervish carried in his right
hand six foot spear, with which he
hoped to do considerable damage.
When he still lacked about mile of
being within poking distance of the
hated infidel, the machine guns opened
up and began to sweep the plain back
and forth in long regular swaths, just
as the sickle sweeps through the yell
low grain. 1t was quite a handicap
for the invincible children of Allah
They could not use their six-foot
spears on any one mile away, and
before they could recover from the
chagrin occasioned by this unexpected
move on the part of the enemy, about
eleven thousand of them had winged
their way to eternal happiness and the
Others were radiating in all directions
pursued by those who wished to civil
lie them and bring them under Brit
ish control. Those of the dervshes
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06
hY WELLINGTON VANDIVER


in. and they wanted to know where the
latter place was.
I'VE all sadie dup and rid over to the
cabin with the officers. Smoke was
comm out of the chimbley, but thar
warnt no sign of any hooman bein about
the place; not even dog barked. There
was two rooms to the cabin When We
got inside it was observed that there
warnt no fire in the fireplace ir either
room--and as smoke was pouring out OF
the chimbley pooty lively. this aroused
curiosity. The head marshull pulled up
some planks often the floor and went
down in the cellar He stayed long
time, and when he come back his face
was right pale. Boys. he says. there is
a complete counterfeiter's outfit in that
cellar. but the woman as was runnin' it
has escaped. She has vanished like mist.
| will hand up the outfit to you and
the remaining men will look around the
place and arrest any suspicious charac-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06
Dashin5 Up the Mile i'm
Company of Mr.. Peas
ley and Others.

TIME dream of many years has
come true. We are moving
Ii southwark up the Nile.
Like busy sand flies we are fitting,
almost daily, across white patches of
desert to burrow into second hand
tombs and crick our necks looking up
at mutilated temples. We have learn
ed to spar with native pedlers and
fight them out of our way. We ride
delirious donkeys at pell-mell speed
through bewildered villages, while
maniacal boys run behind and yelp
like coyotes. We have adopted he'll
NETS, goggles, sun umbrellas, cameras.
guide books, witch hazel and insect
powder. We are letting on to one
another that we have got all the dy-
nasties Strengthened out in our minds
and that we are beginning to get the
hang of the hieroglyph.
Ten years ago not one of us had
ever heard of Koti or Khnemhotep
Now we refer to them in the most
casual way, as if we had roomed with
them for awhile. 1t is certainly a
gay life we are leading over the ceme-
terry circuit. Just think what rollick-
ing fun it must be to revel day after
day in sarcophagi and sepulchres,
stumbling through subterranean pas
sages and kicking up the dust of de-
parted kings, peering down into mum
my pits, also trying to stretch the
Imagination like rubber band so that
we may get the full significance Of
what is meant by 1900 B. c. People
come to Egypt to cure nervous depres-
sion and then spend nine-tenths OF
their time hanging around tombs. Why
come all the way to Egypt? Why not
go out to Woodlawn and run foot
races from one family vault to an
other?
Mr.. Peasley has no use for the
tombs We have seen up to date. AT
Beni-Hassan we rode on donkeys and
climbed hills for half an hour to in
spect several large cubes of dim at
mosphere surrounded by limestone.
At Assioot we put in the best part of
the afternoon toiling up to another
gloomy cavern. While we stood in
the main chamber of the tomb of
Hapzefai (whoever he was), trying to
pump up some enthusiasm. Mr.. Peas
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

gold just at twilight. have made two
or three attempts to describe the glory
of a sunset in the desert. but l find
myself as helpless as Mr.. Peasley,
who, after gazing for five minutes at
the flaming horizon, can only murmur
a low but reverent ''Gosh!"
1t may interest the reader to hear
what Baedecker has to say on the sub
ject Baedecker says Up. 216): "The
sunsets are very fine" That's what |
like about Baedecler. He doesn't fuss
over lot of words and tack on super
ffuous adjectives. AS soon as he has
impaired the necessary information i'll
a trim and concise manner he moves
on to the next subject.
| am sending herewith two sketches
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06
The MAN from the Land of w


ter. and he dived back into the cellar.
Just then we heard a voice outside say,
There was man in the land of Uz and
his name was job Bang! sounded a
shotgun. We all piled outside to see
our fisherman with smokin' gun in his
hand and wounded officer on the
ground. Another gun sounded in a
second and the Uz man got a broken
arm and was hog-tied poorly briefly by
the Revenue. The possee went to the
nearest town after a wagon, leavin' the
head marshal and one man to gyard the
plumber. and my gang went back to
camp. Long afterwards | found out. that
the head marshal found the woman in
the cellar. caught her red-handed. but
fell in love with her and told the lie to
save her. He managed to have her slip
away when his men didn't know it, Old
job jabbered and made signs. but all
they could git out of him was that pet
sayin, There was a man in the land
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06


raoh's daughters discovered little
Moses. The island is still there, but
there isn't bullrush within mile
of it.
One of the penalties of travel is TO
have old and settled beliefs uprooted.
For instance, there are no Maltese
cats in MALTA, no Venetian blinds in
Venice, no Roman punch in Rome. If
you want Neapolitan ice cream in Ma
pies you must send out for it. You
may walk about all day in Bologna
without seeing a pound of Bologna
sausage. Egyptian cigarettes are
known throughout the world, and yet
no tobacco is grown in Egypt Go to
Manhattan Beach and everybody Is
drinking Martins. Truly, the stereo-
typed labels are deceptive
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

who has observed their workings and re-
suits, the marvel is that the old system
of mingling all classes OF delinquents to-
gether. young and old, the beginners in
crime and the professional criminals, and
subiecting all to the same general pro-
cess. should anywhere be permitted to
continue. The deplorable results certain
to follow such indscrimnate treatment
are all the more obvious when the fact
is made to appear. as it does constantly
in the juvenile courts, that large pro-
portion of the cases of alleged juvenile
criminality are actually nothing more
than instances of childish mischief with
no criminal intent whatever To subject
IA youthful offender, charged. perhaps,
with nothing worse than the breaking Of
"A street lamp or the upsetting of a ped
dler's cart. to all the terrors of arrest,
detention in a common cell, and ar
raignment in a police court. is crime
against childhood a hundred fold worse
than any act child is able to commit.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

of uz. and his name was Job-=thats my
name On the trial the jury concluded
the old heather was crazy and turned
him loose. He warnt old a bit-jess wore
them whiskers and things SO as to dis
guise hisself. but | reckon his mind was
leetle bit off. He folders the gal aroun'
like dog, bein' as true to her as most
dogs is to their masters: that's the rea-
son why he shot the officer that day at
the cabin-cos he thort he had collared
his female boss.
THE rest of the story winds up like
ali of them romances. That head mar
shall jess kept lovin' that gal a leetle
harder every day ontil he got so he
couldn't do without her, and then he up
and married her. The only counter
feitin' she does now is to present him
with lot of chillun who is the exact
counterfeit of their daddy. and ! reckon
its now about time to libate, quoth Uncle
Bunk Goggins. reaching for the jug.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

Halfa, thence by rail 576 miles to
Khartoum 1t is here about thirteen
hundred and fifty miles up stream,
that the White and Blue Niles con-
verge and bring down from the rainy
equatorial regions the floods of muddy
water which are the annual salvation
of Egypt.
Ten years ago XII artoum seemed as
inaccessible as the North Pole. 1t
was headquarters for the most des-
perate swarm of fren zied fanatics that
ever swept region with fire and
sword. They had wiped out British
armies and put GordOn's head on a
pole. They were in a drunken ecstasy
of Mohammedan zeal eager to fight
and ready to die. and they got all that
they We're looking for
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

I once to the Castillo Negro, where the
Duquesa would question him as to GER
tain matters she has gained knowledge of.
This will tally with your"-Don c.. smiled
with your appearance at the palace of
Santolalla. You will be credited with dis
covering a conspiracy and cleverly stamp
ing it out at its birth. You and the Du-
quesa.'
Ubrique considered. 81 hate it. 1t is un-
worthy
Don Q. shrugged his shoulders.
'As you will, but you have only five
more minutes In which to decide"
Sullenly the general drew the writing
materials to his knee again. and in ST.
lence handed the note to the chief.
From this moment the affair is lost in
oblivion. | offer you my congratula-
tions." said Don Q. 1.-The government
have complained that l do not pay duty
on my cigarettes. l am paying 1t this
titne-in my own coin, perhaps, but what
would you?''
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

himself
'I'll tell you what | can do" he said.
81 can take hundred pounds of dyna-
mite and a gang of dagoes and go any
where along the Hudson and blow out
a tomb In a weeks time that will beat
anything we've seen in Egypt. Then
I'll hire a boy with a markin brush to
draw some one-legged men and some
tall women with their heads turned
the wrong way. and I'll charge six
dollars to go in and make my fortune"
The significance of the six dollars
is that every traveller who wishes to
visit the antiquities must pay a gov
eminent tax of 1870 piastres. He re-
ceives a monument ticket which he
must show to the guard before enter
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

1t is less than eight years since
Kitchener went down to call on them
OF all the cold blooded and frozen
featured military tacticians of the in
exorable school Kitchener stands pre-
eminent. General Grant in his grim
NEST moment was absolutely emotion
al and acrobatic as compared with
Kitchener. He carried ice water in
his veins and his mental machinery
licked with Birmingham regularity.
He did not get excited and dash into
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

standing on the top deck of Nile
steamer can see both to east and west
the raw and broken edges OF the
desert.
The entire population lives on the
river, literally and figuratively. Dark
robed women come down to the
stream in endless professions to fill
their water jars, and it seems that
about every forty feet or so all the
way up from Cairo the industrious
fellah is lifting water up the bank and
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06

who escaped are supposed to be still
running. AT least they never came
back to start another Messiah move
ment.
Ten years ago the Soudan was seal
ed to the whole world and death walt
ed for the unbeliever who crossed the
border. Today the table d'hote roams
unafraid, and the illustrated post card
blooms even as the rose
The Nile of which you have read
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-06
Bound to Crop out.

From the Milwaukee Sentinel.
Yes; | believe l did say you were
always lying about yourself.
I'll have you to understand. sir that
| am not used to this kind Of talk. En-
a gentleman. sir"
There you go. Can't keep from It,
ian you?'