The Port Gibson reveille., 1906-07-26

Papa, what is satire?" well. for
example, when your mother asks me
how much I've won at the prayer meet
ing Life.
Wigg: Do you believe that every
man has his price? Wagg: No. Lots
Of men give themselves away.-Phila-
delphia Record.
Preceptor-Your translation today
bore marks Of distinction. Student
Yes, | put em there because people
were always borrowing it-er"-
Princeton Tiger.
'1f a thing is worth doing at all It
should be we'll done" remarks the man
who butts in. Except when you order
rare steak" replied the ready re-
torter.-Milwaukee Sentinel.
Mrs. Upperten: Yes, my daughter re-
fused Lord Addlepate because he was
old, poor, corrupt, weak-minded, a
physical wreck and she didn't love
himl Mrs. Newlyrich: What fools
young girls arel
Rimer: I think the idea is certainly
poetical. I might make it into quat-
rain; would you? Crittick: I would
not. Rimer: How would you put IL
out, then? Crittick: ! would not
Philadelphia Press.
"Tve been reading about an extinct
volcano that still smokes. Queer, isn't
it?" yep. Reminds me Of a woman.
She gets mad and says she's never go
ing to speak to you again, and then
keeps right on talking. Detroit Free
Press.
The Missus-Bridget, how many
times have l told you not to pour
coffee grounds into the sink? The
Maid-Sure. mum, an Oi'm that lone
some that an afternoon call firm a
plumber wouldn't 90 bad.-Cleveland
Leader.
"Dere amt nobody dat can't brag a
little bit about something" said Me-
andering Mike. Oats right" an
swered Plodding Pete. Take you an
me. fur instance. We never get mixed
up in no labor riots, do we?"-Wash.
ington Star.
why, Mr.. knox," said the landlady
to the new boarder, you have let
piece Of butter fall in your coffee!" Il
did it on purpose, Mrs. flasher" re-
piled the n. b. Il believe in compell-
ing the strong to assist the weak"
Chicago Daily Times.
Mr.. Washington Jackson-Whar-
bouts did yo' git dat fine hat? Mr..
'Rastus Johnson-At de sto'. Mr..
Washington Jackson-How much wuz
it? Mr.. 'Rastus Johnson-'Deed ah
don know. De sto'-keepah wasn't
darl-American Spectator.
What sort Of man is Jinks?"
''The impression you get Of Jinks de-
pends on the circumstances upon which
you meet him. If you're there to coll
lect money, you won't like him, but
il you're there to pay money ne seems
q lovely character. Washington Star.
Intimate Friend-What was the
breach OF senatorial courtesy OF which
you accused Senator Graball? Senator
Grafton (fercely)-Why, the scound-
rel approached the interests / repre-
sent and offered to work for twenty
five percent less legal expenses than
they're paying mel-Puck.
Mamma-Now Jimmie, remember the
dentist said you'd ruin your teeth If
yUu ate so much candy. Jimmie-But
Uncle Bob said that was nonsense.
Mamma-Dont you think the dentist
knows more about it than you Uncle
Bob? Jimmie-Well, there's only one
way to prove which one is right
Cleveland Leader.
e'Scuse me, boss" said the eolored
individual, as he entered the mer-
chants private Office, but abs lookin'
fob work" "Oh, you are, eh?" re-
joired the merchant What can you
dof" 'Scuse me ergin. boss" said
tho man of color, but II amt foh
Abs lookin' foh work-its
fob NAH wife. sah."-Chicago Daily
News.