Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-12
CHICAGO HUMORLST IN
LOVE WITH LOS ANGELES
He Writes Beautiful Poem on California De-
scribes the Greatest Climate on Earth and
Then Tells Funny Stories About Us

| gentleman was the water that was
drawn from the pipes for drinking pur-
| poses. He often complained that 1t was
too warm to taste good, but he was
unwilling, since he had turned his back
upon the land cf frost and snow, to
| pay for ice.
One day a lady who lived in an ad-
| joining fiat on the north side of the
| building and took ice sent in bottle
full of water. She heard her neighbors
complaints, and was unwilling that he
| should be distressed. He took swal-
low of the contributed water and was
| gladdened. He smacked his lips and
said: "Ah!" 1t was pleasing to the
taste. He drank deeply and called for
more, and, having sated his thirst
sauntered forth with renewed en-
thusiasm Meeting an acquaintance
presently, he stopped him and began to
expatiate on the gloriousness of the
| California climate.
"Theres no use talking" he fervently
| declared, this climate is simply mar
velous. There's nothing like it any
| where else on earth. If hodn't come
here and seen and experienced for my
self l couldn't have believed that some
of the things we have here were pos
sible. You can walk on the sunny side
of the street and have midsummer
climate. and by simply going across TO
the shade be where the air is cool ana
bracing. But that's not the most Won-
derful thing about it. You can draw
warm water from the pipes on the
south side of building and under the
same roof get ice water from the pipes
that come in on the north side"
Los Angeles pays particular attention
to the tourist business This fact is in
evidence everywhere. The splendid troll
ley line systems are in operation more
for the benefit and patronage of visitors
than for the city's permanent residents.
The cars that start in all directions
every hour for places from ten to thirty
miles distant could hardly be kept in
operate if it were not for the tourists,
and many of the shops in the business
Fart of the city appear to be open only
to catch the trade of strangers. Their
windows are filled with things that are
deemed suitable for presents.
Curio shops are plentiful, and if a
traveller wishes to fill his trunk with
seashells he may do so without going
down to the sea. Here it becomes the
duty of faithful chronicler to expose
a large army of impostors who have
long been taking advantage of the
credulity of their friends, Almost every
lIdNGleI WIZ IeluIllS lIOlll
to the east exhibits a photograph which
shows him. with rod and line in hand,
standing beside a perpendicular fish
that appears to possess the propor-
tions of a 3-year-old whale. Shown in
the background are the seabeach and
the foamy breakers, and to further
create the impression that he has just
made a wonderful catch the man in the
picture is dressed in a fisherman's
outfit and wears a triumphant smile.
Never believe another of these wicked
ones when he exhibits such a photo
graph of himself and fish and intimates
that "it almost pulled him in" There
are in Los Angeles many galleries that
have stuffed fish such as are shown in
the treasured pictures, and the foamy
pillows are painted on pieces of canvas
that are used as props to keep windows
open between sittings. The fisher
mans clothes are also kept ready for
use upon the shortest notice, and beside
the stock fish, where it hangs in the
photographer doorway as a lure to the
man who longs to boast is the printed
invitation:
Come in and have your picture
taken. We furnish the fish. You tell
the story
And the ocean is, like Sheridan was
upon memorable occasion, more than
twenty miles away.