The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-03-11

Look at me-, boys he said. Here 7
am, 80 years old. I've been q total ~abetainer
all my life, and could you roe any man Of 80
healthier tlan ] ann"
"Yerra Mr.. b." said voice in the crowd.
ii you'd taken our glass like a man tits a
hundred you'd nave been by now"
The beggars are chartered wits In Ireland,
and occasionally the wit stings, unless one
has the sense Of humor to laugh With 1t.
May the blessing Of God go after you,"
says the beggar with outstretched hand,
and when you have passed without giving
any aims. sand never overta Ike you
Again the Dublin carman when he has
received an insufficient fare. looking at the
coin in the palm Of his hand, as is the way
Of his brethren elsewhere.
@Ah, we'll, sir" more in sorrow thar In
anger, "Ileave you 70 Him that made you"
Another on a similar occasion said
heartily:
"Arrah, bad luck to the Land Leaguel'
But why's asked the astonished pas
senger.
'Yerra, sure it killed out all the gentry
In another case a friend OF mine, a small
man who was walking with his tall sister,
was importuned by a beggar, but gave
nothing. The beggar mistook the relation
ship and got home neatly on the two by
remarhng soto voee:
"Ah, well, then, may God help the poor
little crature that couldn't say no to you
"There goes high art, remarked a Wex-
ford beggar, o. a very tall friend Of mine
with sketohing apparatus passed down the
street,
The beggar's wit Ia not always vitu-
perative. One asked another Of an elderly
parson who passed by with a jubilant air:
What's come to the ould gentleman
at all, at aIl2'
Sure, didn't you hearH He was married
last week.
Il thought there was something when
Iseen him goin' along like that, Just touohin'
the ground In an odd place.
In another case my sister was impor-
tuned by a female tinker, 1. Ell gypsy, with
three children. Further on abe met the
lady'e mate with three more.
Sour mothers dead, Miss, an we're
orphans whined the children: give a
penny to the poor orphans
My sister, young and dogmatic. fixed an
accusing glance on the orphans"
Il don't believe you are orphans she
said. "Imet your mother farther down the
road"
Come away ohildher, come away said
the father, s~orrowfully. She's an I'M
believer This however, belongs more to
pure roguery than to wit, and there's a deal
Of sly roguery In Ireland.
Sometimes the wit is In the form Of a COM
pliment. One remembers the famous oom-
pliment paid to one Of the Cummings by a
Dublin ooalporter. sLook at her, look at
her! could light my pipe at the fire Of her
eye Only an Irishman could have said
to a lady: well, / don't know our age,
but sure, whatever age you are. you don't
look it.
There is the conscious humor In Ireland,
but there Is also the unconscious, or at least
the ~subconsoious, which is as much a part Of
Ireland as her %greenness n her clouds.
One remembers the host at the country
hotel, who. when an angry English guest
Informed him that he had put his boots
outside his bedroom door every night Of the
week and they had never been touched,
replied blandly:
"Sure, that's nothing at all. We're the
honestest people inthe worldinthis country.
You might lave your goold watch there,
an it ID never be touched, let alone your
boots
Again there Is the answer a Dublin car
driver made to q friend Of mine who asked
how many the car was supposed to hold.
well, four If you sit contagious and six
II you sit familiar
Humor, conscious or unconscious, Is a
thing that meets you everywhere in Ireland.
The sly and innocent, appealing roguery
Is a thing that meets you on all sides; the
topsy-turviness, the quaintness, the odd,
unexpected way Of looking at things, are the
very essence Of gayety in the country.
1t is in the face and the speech Of every
peasant; it looks at you from the eyes OF the
townsfolk. It makes a crowd anywhere
q thing Of life and gayety, electric with
laughter, responsive to everything but
dullnees. That must have been the snake
which st. Patrick sootched. for 1t is not to
be found from end to end Of at least Irish
Ireland.
In a land where they are all raconteurs,
the wonder is that there are any listeners.
It must only be by a generous system Of
reciprocity. Even when they blunder they
blunder wittily, and that makes the diff
ference between an Irish blunder and the
plumbers Of other peoples, and accounts
for the so-called Irish bull.
The Irish bull often contains an ellipsis,
like that one of the gentleman who said it
would be better to be a coward for five
minutes than to be dead all your life. Even
when it Is a blunder 1t Is not stupid. 1t
provokes good laughter.
In one days issue of a Dublin daily paper
find the following gem:
If punctuality is the politeness Of princes,
then was the Prince .exquisitely polite
yesterday for his train arrived at Clare
morris twenty minutes before its time
Before Mr.. - at the - Police Court.
Kate Brady, aged "A, was charged with
being found drunk on licensed premises.
Mr.. - was very severe on the publican.
I am determined he said, to put down
this sort of thing with a heavy hand. 1t is
a shocking thing that the mothers Of the
race should be demoralized like These
young girls must be protected"
In the same issue was an advertisement;
sTo be let comfortable house Of six rooms.
Convenient Situation. just opposite the