Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-02-02
plumb, and they had to rush all over

WOtE.
Fa was sent out to find q bunch VI
them. and it cost pa over $50 to get
them out of a beer garden, and back
10 the lot, and 1t was almost daylight
before we got our train started for the
next town.
Well, at the nex town we could $50
there was something the matter with
the animals. They acted as though
they had lost all interest in the sue
cess Of the show, and wouldn't do
any OF their stunts worth q cent. Tho
elephants went through their &C!
Carelessly. and when they were scoldeJ
or prodded with the iron hook, they
got mad and wanted to fight, and when
they got back from the ring to tho
animal tent they wouldn't eat the
baled hay, but threw 1t all over the
tent. end acted %riotous.
The %kangaroos would not do their
boxing act. the horses kicked at their
hay. and wouldn't eat their oats, the
camels growled at their food, and
scared the people who passed by where
they were tied to stakes, the sacred
cattle got their backs up and acted
as though they, being pious, couldn't
swear. but would like to hire the n.y.
enas to swear for them; the CRATES
laid down and curled their necks 50
they were no attraction to the show.
cause a giraffe is no curiosity unless
he stretches himself away up towards
the top of the tent The Zebras rolled
in the mud and spoiled their stripes,
50 people couldn't tell them from com
o mules; the grizzly bear walked
his 4 and kept giving vent to bear
language. and the big lion was howl
Ing al! the time.
The show was a failure at that town.
and when we loaded the train the
managers held a meeting in our ca
to decide what in thunder was the
matter with the animals. All kinds
OF theories We're advanced, such az
poison, malaria from Indiana, and
pure c%ussedness. After they had dis
Cussed the matter awhile, pa came in.
and they asked him what he thought
about it, and that tickled pa, cause
as foolish as he looks, he helps the
show out Of lots of bad holes. Pa
ut a cigar and put it in one side Of his
mouth, put his hat up on one side of
his head, like he was tough, AMI
looked wise. and said:
Fellow fakirs, | have been watch
ing the animals all day, and while |
do not say they understand enough OF
the ways of human beings to be post
ed on labor unions, and all that, I
want to tell you they are on a strike.
and that grizzly and that lion are
the walking delegates that are stir
ring them up to mischief. They may
not know anything about the team
sters' strike, but they know something
has happened, and they are displeascd
at something. and they have lost re.
spect for the employer. They are on
a strike, INT the very devil Is going to
gay tomorrow, unless the cause OF
the dissatisfaction Is discovered mt
tual concessions made, and arbitration
resorted to.
Gentlemen, you hear me-" said pa,
and he sat down On the edge of tho
arm of the car seat.
They gave pa the laugh, but finally
told him to take charge Of the strike
ana settle 1t quick. but they wanted
to know what he thought animals
would be dissatisfied about, as long as
they got food enough to eat.
Pa said: 'Ill tell you. You feed
: the horses and other %hay-eating ami
, mails on musty baled hay, bough:
l from contractors that may have had
it on hand for five years. How woail
o you like 1t il you were served with
|. breakfast food that had been stored
i. In a warehouse until it was widowed =!
/ A horse or an elephant has feelings
Give them baled hay, and when they
5 are trying to pick out a mouthful tina.
: is not spoiled. o drive along with q
load of nice new-mown timothy or al
| falfa, and see them make a rush fo'
that load Of hay. the way my ten-horsf
l team did the other day for that load o.
! Co%rnstalks. Then the sacred catti1
J are hot under the collar because oI
l the fellows who use profanity. Ca9
i YOU imagine a sacred COW trying to III
" good. and set a plous example TO tn
i neathen animals, being patient Whei
: they have to listen to swearing? fol
u buy meat that Is tainted for the lions
who like fresh meat. and the jackai
that only loves bad meat, gets the onl!
i sirloin in the lot. Let me run The
menagerie to morrow. and l VIII have
e Mr.. Lion, the walking delegate, declare
d this strike off"