The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1906-01-17

"They Say - that's the answer.
You've hit it.
They Say is what's the matter with
me. I'm getting tired of being hound
ed, bully-ragged hectored, pestered
and bulldozed by They Say.
Not that 1 care the leavings of an
omelet souffie in the nethermost depths
of Tartarus what They Say. What
They Say doesn't concern me any more
than the boil weevll concerns the blub-
ber-hunting Eskimo or than the sum-
mary dismissal order concerns the
clerk who's got the good eye of cou-
pie of Senators who stand in. But, all
the same, They Say annoys and tantal-
izes me like bunch of gloating house
flies on a gummy Washington day in
August.
when 1 say They Say, mean you.
You belong to the Universal Order of
Garrulous, Loquaclous and Gabberif-
erous They Says, and I'm a-talliing
to Youl
What difference does it make to me.
or to you, or to anybody else one
elghtieth of one degree removed from
a shell fish in mentality or a crusta-
cean in self-respect what They Say?
Hey?
Don't you know that They Say has
caused more trouble and grief and hui
man misery generally since the begin
ming of the world than strong drink
and jealousy and battle and murder
and the plague and fire and storm
and envy and covetousness and sloth
and the devil and all combined? If
you don't know it, why don't you?
'They Say, hey? Well, what if they
do? Did you ever know member of
the Order of They Say to possess the
brains of young turkey in rain
storm? Did you ever hear of one of
the They Says who had enough of the
milk of human kindness and charity in
his system to make bread poultice
for the wounded fifth rib of potato
bug? Were you ever personally ac-
quainted with They Say who wasn't
himself mean enough to swipe the rug
out of a swampoodle baby carriage in
the dead of winter?
did you ever meet up with q They
Say, male or female, who did not pos
sess the physiognomical lineaments Of
a Soudanese simian?
Aren't you aware of the fact that
the Order of They Says has got a
perpetual charter, issued on the first
day of the creation of the Garden of
Eden and to endure until the last faint
echo of the crack of doom, and that the
They Says are irresistible, incapable of
being extirpated or depleted?
"And, inasmuch as the They Says
have always Said II, and will always
go right on Saying It till the last
whistle has blown, what's the use?
"Let 'em Say 1t! They Say? Who
says?
''They Say is always anonymous,
collective. vague, nebulous, and inevita-
bly, liar.
"They Say is always possessed of
the imagination of a hasheesh-eater
and the pestiferous clacklness of an
unoiled threshlng machine in a hollow
echoing valley.
''They Say is the dum-dum bullet of
human speech.
"They Say is the rock thrown in the
dark.
''They Say is the intangible Malta
cankerlng the heart of civilization;
the Black Hand that besmirches the,
outer hide Of human sweetness.
"They Say is the hooded cobra of
human society.
"They Say is the sneak that sinks
up behind It's best friend and stabs him
in the back.
"They Say is the hdeous, discordant
buzz that foully slays the reputation
OF decent men and destroys the good
name of women.
Il never hear one Of the They Says
giving the verbal office Of his order
that l don't in the ear of the magma
tion, detect the yelping of graveyard
hyenas in the distance.
They Say works while the rest OF |
the world sleeps, and They Say is so
busy that no man may know when he
is liable to meet the askance and
aslant glances of his They Say pois- |
oned friends.
IF l had the commiseration for
human woe of that Siddartha who |
was Buddha, the tenderness of Lin
coin, the grave stability of Washington, |
the chivalry of Chevalier Bayard, the
knightliness of King Arthur, the spir. |
ituaiity of st. Augustine, the unselfish. |
ness of Damon and Pythias-if l had |
all these things wrapped around me |
like nimbus or an aureole, dye s'pose |
for one sixteenth part OF a second that |
I'd be free from the onnery little un-
derhand wallops of the They Says?
Whats the answer? The answer,
for you and all of the rest of the They |
Says, is to cash in and quit! Withdraw |
from the Order of They Says and, If |
you've got knock coming, say 1t your
self! Don't emit an anonymous knock |
in the name Of the They Says, but, If |
you feel that you've got knock in |
your midriff that has just naturally got |
10 be let out, why, just skate to the |
centre, shy your hat on the carpet,
take long breath to give your lungs |
free play, and bawl the knock right |
out loud, with all OF the power and |
strength that you can put into 1t, and |
an the name of you yourself-not in |
the name of the They Says!
when you're feeling knockish don't |
get behind the They Say screenl Claim
the knock for your very own, and stay |