The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1906-08-30
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He-I asked her to tell me her age,
and she said "23," She-Well-did you?
Brooklyn Life
why do you refer to his fortune rs
hush money!" Wagg-IIe made it in
soothing syrup-Phlladcphi Record.
DO you leave your vauables in the
hotel safe when you so to IA summer
reSortT' only when | leave. Judge.
Stella-Isn't that Mr. Bachelor kind
and gentle? Bella-That's just the
trouble; he stands without htching-
Brooklyn Life.
That man has 4 very shady business
record" why. what has he been do
ing?' ''IIe puts up awnings. "-Balti-
more American.
Saphcdde - \ penny for your
thoughts, Miss Pert. Miss Pert-'rhey
are not worth it. | was merely think
ing of you.-philadelphi Record.
Husband (angrily)-l don't see why
| ever married you. You are fool.
Wife Calmly --Undoubtedly. Other
wise l would have refused y0u.-Grit.
On An Ocean Liner. The Wife
Shall l have your dinner brought to
your room, dear? Husband (feeDlyl -
No. Just order it thrown overboard.-
Clipped.
out of a job eh?" "Yeh. de boss
said he was losin' money on de things l
i'm OF
makin?' Mistakes. "-Philadelphi
Press.
Dentist (proddin.; a patients gum in
search of fragment of root Funny.
| don't seem to fee! it. Patient (ironi-
cal in spite Of the pain) You're in
luck Les Annales.
who is it that robs us while we are
asleep" asked the teacher, trying to
get the class to spell the word burg
lar" DE gas meter!' shouted the boys
in uniSon.-Chicaso News.
Assistant-Thls poet says that the
last two verses of his poem may be
omitted, if you think it is desirable
Editor-I'll do better than that. III
omit the whole poem.-Somervillc Jour
nal.
They found a cigar in a safe that
had fallen down five stories in san
Francisco and wasn't the least bit dam
aged by fire" Yes, I've tried to smoke
several of those cigars. "-Cleyeland
Leader.
Really, you know, l don't think Miss
Summergal looks at all athletic
Well" well, you told me she was
always engaged in some college sport
stupid! said engaged to-. "-rhila-
delphia Press.
Mistress-What made you angry with
the doctor and tell him not to come
any more? Brldgct-BecauSc he said
he thought he would send me to Il
warmer climate, ana am ON ter him.
Los Angeles News.
do you think that wealth brings
piness?" NO. answered Mr. Dustin
Stax. 1T doesn't bring happiness. But
it gives man Il little bit OF option
about the kind of worry he will take
On. "-Washington Star
PA, what's the difference between a
profession and trade" The man
who works at trade quits when his
eight hours are up. The man who fol-
lows profession has to keep on until
his work is done. "-Chlcaso Record
Herald.
Don't you like to hear tn" wind
whistling through the wood?" asked
the poetical one, We'll" replied the
practical one. III I'm out in the forest
| do but If the wood Is made up into
a s. nutc, | can't say that | do.'-ion-
kcrs Statesman.
Yes" said the condesccndng youth,
81 am taking fencing lessons. "Go.d,'
answered Farmer CorntoSscl 81 alIus
said YOU was goin' to turn in an do
somcthin' useful. Whats your special
ty goin' to bc-rail. stone or barbed
wire#'- Washington star.
We'll, sir" brusquely inquired the
girls father, what can do for you%"
"Why-cr-I called, sir" stammcred
the timid sutton, ito see fer You
would give assent to my marriage to
Your daughter" Not a cent, sir Not
cent! Good-day Scissors.
\ school teacher, one day during the
hour for drawing, suggested to her pa
pills that each draw what ha or She
would like to be when grown mp. At
the end of the lesson one little girl
showed an empty slate. why said
the teacher, isn't there anything YOU
would like to be when you grow upE"
Yes said the little girl, Il would like
To be married, but don't know how to
draw it"-Life.