Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1906-12-21
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job for long time. What's he doing
now? Wagg-Nothing. He got it
Philadelphia Record.
Your son is studying art. l believe.
Has he made much progressY "Oh,
yes. He is able to talk the language
quite fuently."-Judge.
She-Did you notice the beautiful
palms In the new restaurants He
The only palms l saw were the wait
ers'.-Boston Transcript.
do you think it pays country people
to take in city boarders" Certainly,
as long as the boarders don't find it
out. Baltimore American.
Country Minister-My parishoners
gave me donation party last week.
Sympathetic Friend-How much did
you lose?-Somerville Journal.
Visitor-Are there any fish in the
river Native-Fish! l should rather
think there was. Why, the waters SIM
ply saturated with 'em Punch
Employer-What. then, are your de-
mands? Committee of Union-We want
more money and shorter hours SOS we
can have time to spend it.-Puck.
Kind Lady-How many servants does
your mother keep dear? Small Girl
She doesn't keep any; they're always
coming and going.-Boston Transcript.
Lady-Did the natives like the per
fumed soap l sent them Returned
Missionary madam. they bit it,
and threw 1t away.-Detroit Free
Press.
Church-What do you think of your
wife's voice since she took music les
sons GOtham-It's no better; but
there seems to be more of it.-Yonkers
Statesman.
"Who were the chief beneficiares un-
der your uncle's will?" "The automo-
bile manufacturers. Each legatee
bought two as soon as they got their
ey."-Judge.
Mother Ito Tommy, who has Just
said his prayers) Tommy, you forgot
to ask the Lord to take care of your
, baby sister. Tommy-No, | didn't, ma.
| I'll take care of her myself.-Life.
An old lady on the witness stand at
Belllnzona, Switzerland, gave her age
as 1O2. But it was ascertained on
cross-examination, that she was 106.
She explained that she was ASHAMED
Of being so old"
"a great many people do things they
are sorry for" "Yes," answered Miss
Cayenne. ''The trouble is that they
often fail to realize that they are sorry
till they get into the newspapers. -
Washington Star.
, "And best of ALL" said the boastful
American, 1--WE have no titled aristo.
cracy to support over here" NO" re-
piled the foreigner, "but you have a
good many titled sons-n-law to sup
! port over here" Judge.
"Do you believe that Samson lost his
strength by having his hair cut?" ask
I ed the non-believer. 81 have no reason
I to doubt it," replied the practical man
t "a talkative barber always makes me
: tired."-Chicago Daily News.
e Mr.. Verycareful Ito his new MANI =
b William, do you smoke? William (witf
/. large expectations of perfecto)-
t Mr.. erycareful-Well, here is a box
It of safety matches. I allow no other
s sort on the premises.-Judge.
d Does your chauffeur have any per
quistes?' asked Mrs. Van Uppson. III
had one the first week he was with us,
replied Mrs. Neurich, "but induced
him to sign the pledge, and he hasn'
s. had any nce."-Chicago Daily News
" "Alas!" confessed the penitent man
Gin moment of weakness | stole a car
Q load of brass fittings" "In momen
of weakness?" exclaimed the judge
Y Goodness, man what would you hav
taken if you had yielded in a momen
v when you felt strongT-Judge.
Dumley-I met fellow to-day VIII
q was simply nutty about buried treas
ure; couldn't talk of anything elst
:. Peckham-That reminds me of m
wife. Dumley-Oh, does she talk abou
one? Peckham-Yes; her first husband
i I'm her second, you know.-Phllade
phia Ledger.
10 "No Tommy" said his mother, "yo
can't have any more cake. You've ha
J. enough" what fine little fello'
he is," replied the guest; "ano whe
IS you're a man, Tommy, what are you g
ing to do?' "I'm goin' ter buy to
o. much of everything / like to eat" re
piled Tommy, sulkily.-Philadelphi
g. Press.
Classifying Him.