davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
HUMOR OF THE Day

.'Myl but old Russell is a storage bat
terry Of energy. Doesn't he Just nre ,,, 0rs
for him, and 1 never was fired any more
Enthusiastically by any one-'-Judge.
Don't your conscience sometimes
trouble you about things you have 70 oS
in financial deals?" a little" answerea
such sue: HuS case" II send for lawyer
Washington Star.
i've got a great chance" began Eor-
roughs Ito make big money on a certain
INVESTMENT en- II o1 R15yyseran but we
been trying to work that game myself =
Philadelphia Press.
your husband" said Mrs. Highmus;
graciously, is decidedly interesting anG
original, even If he does sometimes bio"
1T isn't so!'' Indignantly exclaimed Mrs.
Gaswell. MY husband always uses his
yes. Tommy
What Is Roquefort2"
And what is Limburgerz"
Spoiled Roquefort. Judge
It often wonder" remarked the soulful
young man, dreamily, what's the best
way to find out what a woman thinks OF
you -,
Wen live on bread and cheese and
kisses, won't we dear2" murmured the
irnDassioned youth.
We'll, If We do, Henry" answered the
practical maiden, Il want II distinctly
understood that no limburger goes -
Pittsburg Post.
Here, you. sir, cred the rate old
gentlemen, didn't l tell you never to en-
ter this house again.?
mo. sir replied his daughters per
sistent sutton. You said not to cross
your threshold so 1 climbed in the win
dow. "-Philadelphia Press.
Confidential Friend-Old man, II you
had your life to live over again. would
you make Il different
Defeated Pohtician-Yes, in two partie-
ulars. Firstly, I'd be bigger scOundIel
Secondly, 1 wouldn't take any other man
into my confidence.-Chicago Tribune
TOMMY married brother solves this
vacation problem in a clever way.
Jessie-How does he manage 1t?
Tom-He collects these Where to Go"
booklets and by the time he gets through
them ali it's September and too late 10
sta t.--Brooklyn Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
Could AI,,ost 10 IT.

A southern Maryland politician, call
ing at the executive mansion at Annap-
OILS. found only Colonel Tilghman, the
secretary of state. present.
where is the high and almighty -
he INQUIRED, pointing to Governor War
fields desk
mot here answered the secretary in
a tone of mild rebuke. THE Almighty
is one who can make something out of
nothing. The governor can't do That"
well he came blamed near 1t when
he made jun Smith a justice OF the
peace down in our county. The Bo-
hernian
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
AND so IT IS.

divorce has grown altogether too flip
pant. The divorce courts are filled
from one years end to another with
cases based on frivolous charges. aris-
ing from hot tempers and connubial
spats which. in the light of cooler rea-
son would be laughed at by the angry
participants and forgotten. The ease
with which divorce may be secured
leads many married couples to seek 1t
in moments of temporary irritation.
and. once the proceeding is started, a
false pride, vanity or stubbornness pre-
vents the withdrawal Of the suit and a
separation and perhaps a life time Of
regret is the result.-Milwaukee Sen
tineI
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
ERON OTHER PENS
GOVERNMENT OWNERSHIP.

It was frankly stated by the Mexican
minister of finance in a speech on Sat
urday. that the government of that
country was prompted to take over the
two great railroad lines of Mexico
the Central and Nationally the fear
that these properties would otherwise
be merged into some of the great rail-
road combinations in the United States
That country. in other words. did not
intend that its transportation systems
should be controlled and operated by
foreign high financiers or for the bene
have a large experience in government
ownershop and operation of railroads
in plain sIght-SpringfeId Republicn.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

failed to be a delegate to all the state
and district conventions. He also con-
ceived 1t to be his duty to attend the
meeting of the legislature to see that
the right man was elected United
States senator. The facts showed
that while he was looking carefully
after lodge business ana saving the
country his business was largely left
to take care Of ftself,,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
GentIe Door Taps.

A story Of extraordinary deafness was
,,rfo:ded at a recent rceting of a medi-
cal society in Philadelphia. An elderly
won an, exceedingly hard of hearing,
lived near the river One afternoon
woman, alone in her little home, wait
ed until the booming ceased. Then she
smoothed her DIRE IS, brushed her hair
back in a quaint manner, and SAID
sweetIy, Come 1n.''-Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
The Joy of Possession.

He who owns anythinE-land in
particular-will sympathize with the
following account of how a certain
man felt when he acquired a farm
The sensations described are those
felt, in different degrees, by all pos
SCISSORS of this worlds goods-from
the boy who earns a new pair of cop
per tOed shoes to the man who seizes
an empire. It Is universal joy-this
JOY of possession. The writer is David
Grayson, who, in the American Maya
zine, is publishing remarkable auto
biographical serial Adventures in
Contentment."
1T struck me suddenly, as I OBJ
served these homely pleasant things:
All this is mine
Il sprang up and drew a long
breath.
d" Mine I said.
1t came to me then like an inspira-
ton that I might now go out and take
formal possession of my farm. might
er. might swell with dignity and i'm
portance-for once, at least.
80 l walked W to the margin of
my field looking broadly about me;
and presently, I began to examine my
eye. I said of this tree: 1T Is mine
and of its companion beyond the
fence: 1t is my neighbours Deeply
and sharply within myself 1 drew the
line between the Ineum and tuum: for
Willy AAAOSp Dy comparing ourselves
with our neighbors, can we come to
the true realization of property. Oc-
casionally I stopped to pick up a stone
and cast it over the fence, thinking
with some turbulence that my neigh
Dor would probably throw it back
again. Never mind, had it out of my
field.
How sweet an emotion is possess
sion! What charm Is inherent in
ownership What foundation for
vanity, even for the greater quality of
self-respect. lies in a little property!
Then fell to thinking of the excellent
wording of the old books in which
land is called real property or real
estate. Money we may possess or
goods or chattels, but they give no
such impression of mineness as the
feeling that ones feet rest upon soil
that IS his; that part of the deep earth
is his with all the water upon It, all
small animals that creep or crawl in
the holes or it, all birds or insects that
fly in the air above it, all trees, shrubs
flowers and grass that grow upon it.
all houses, barns and fences-all his
AS 1 strobe along that morning I fed
upon possession I rolled the sweet
morsel of ownership under my tongue.
I seemed to set my feet down more
firmly On the good earth. I straight
ened my shoulders: this land was
mine. I picked up clod of earth and
let it crumble and drop through my
fingers; 1t gave me a peculiar and
poignant feeling of possession. can
understand why the miser enjoys the
very physical contact of his gold
Every sense I possessed. sight, hear
ing, smell, touch. fed upon the new
joys
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

Prof. Brander Matthews says that
1000 people have agreed to use simpn-
fed spelling, If Prof. Matthews will go
dow into Arkansas he win find that
nearly the whole population uses spell
Ing a sight more simplihed than that
which he is pushing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
REFLECTIONS or A BAcnE1oR.

IRON the New York Press.1
A girls idea OF a 8irt Is everv otba-
girl
If there is to be no lying in heaven
there must be no taxes there
The only thing that can beat q De-,
list for not being liked is taxes.
A splendid reform would be to havn
people quit reforming things
The world can forgive a man nooa4
anything but teaching q Sunday sehooa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
CITY OF CRIME.

The Pittsburg Gazette-Times an
nounces the solution of the fuel prob
lem. without pausing to read what
our contemporary has to say. it is a
reasonable guess that the plan Is to
shovel the atmosphere into the base
ment and have it handy when the fur
mace needs filling. Louisville Courier
Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

The United States senate continues
its efforts to place bent pins on the
presidents chair. but its failure to get
results leads to the suspicion that the
president has his trousers padded where
II viii do the rnnst gnnd
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
THE NEW Rule

Have you heard the new rule for
the conduct of congress ?" Senator Du-
bois asked Senator Stone. NO; what
is it?" Congress is to be opened
hereafter each day by prayer and a
message from the president. New
York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

Among those who failed to heed the
advice to buy their Christmas presents
early were some Of those VINO gave the
advice. That is always the way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
LONG Drawn OUT.

"Smoot should CO. is the language
Of many contemporaries. Well. we are
firmly Of the opinion that something
should co. in his case, for it has been
on the boards long enough.-Mont-
gomeIy Advertiser.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

According to a dispatch in the Capital
under a Washington date line. Con-
gresham Curtis has been vigorously
fighting the railroads for II years. Pro
baby he was prompted by his enmity
for the railroads when he repudiated
the Horton agreement on the ground
that NJ A. Low. general attorney for
the Rock Island. was his only authoriz-
ed political agent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

One of the discharged officers of the
Twenty fifth infantry has made an af-
fidavit alleging that when he heard the
shooting at Brownsville on the night
of August Is he Immediately had the
roll called and all the men in his com
pany We're accounted for except four.
Perhaps President Roosevelt will get
at the facts about that Brownsville af-
fair yet If he can get the names of
the four absentees from this company,
and similar absentees from other com
panies, he will proba---- Use
who committed the outrages in
Brownsville. and possibly that is one
thing he is working for.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

That Chicago newspaper man who
broke into the penitentiary by breaking
into a Great Bend bank, first tried to
break into the magazines. And he went
broke
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

III the next elections do not sustain
the kaiser, what then? VIII he dis
solve the German empire.-Philadel-
phia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
ONSFRVATIVE.

"There are 10000 Professional Grim
inals in New York" says a Gotham
paper. It is highly refreshing to find
a New York paper on the conservative
side.-Washington Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

a good many people appear 10 have
forgotten to buy them early. notwith-
standing the excellent advice they re-
ceived on that subIect
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

Explanation OF how it frequently
happens by A. Croaker in the HoIton
Recorder: Il once knew a bright, ac-
tive young man who went into bust
ness with exceedingly bright prospects.
At the end of three years he was a
bankrupt. and as he did not drink or
appear to be unduly extravagant or
prof1igate his friends could not un-
aerstand why he failed. until one who
had kept pretty close tab on him. in
formed them that he belonged to four
Or I'VE lodges and never missed a
lodge meeting. a funeral or a grand
eonvocation Of the grand hi-as-ti-
suteses. He was also in politics and
had somehow secured a pull which
AVE him railroad passes. and never
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

A train robber down in Missouri tried
70 hold up only the rich and well-to-do,
and he landed in the penitentfary- 1t is
only the trust magnate who robs the
poor that gets of with a nominal fine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

It's a great relief to the country that
Hicks. the miner who has been entomb-
ed for two weeks at Bakersfield Cal,
has been rescued. It is also probably
eomething Of a relief to HICKS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
MARRIED TO MIILIONAIREs.

100000 out of "Florodora'' is a bank
rupt Former sextette girls can do
the right thing by giving him a benefit
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Age-Her-
aid.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

Senator Bailey desires a ''vindication'
from the Texas legislature. There is a
bare possibility. however, that the
Texas legislature may be out Of vindi-
-ntfr--
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
ROYALTY IS Selfish.

Millions of people are starving in
China, but It is not likely that the ex-
pense of the imperial household will
be cut down on that account.-Chicag
Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

Mr.. Carnegie says an income tax viii
make liars. That Is not the only thing
that acts as a liar factory. however. as
Mr.. Carnegie will discover if he makes
q few INQUIRIES
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

Among the other times that a man is
thankful because he isn't a Mormon
with I'VE wives and IS children, is at
Christmas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

What has become of the old-fashion-
ed gill who used to knit ''wristlets'' for
Christmas Dresents2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
THE BEAUTTFUn LONG ACC.

When the Christmas bells are ringing
And the ground is white with snow,
I think of that beautiful story
OF the beautiful long ago.
I see three milk-whIte camels.
In the darkness of the night,
Speeding swift to the westward
Over the sands of white
And 1 see the camels' riders.
Each one guiding his beast
Toward where q Star Is flashing
Strange omen OF the East.
For these are those men of the Bible,
Who are aged, and learn d, and wise;
And they know of the coming Savior.
For they read from the Stars in the
And they travel on in the night time.
Bringing rare gifts down to Bethlehem,
LED on their way by the Star.
I see on the rough, wild hillside.
In The middle of the night
The Judean shepherds sitting
In the cafnp-dre'S fitful light;
Sitting and talking together,
AS they watch and guard the sheep
While the people in the village
Are hushed and sound asleep;
But they huddle close together.
Shake. and turn cold with fear,
AS suddenly among them
An angel doth appear,
Who says, Fear not. for to you
Good tidings I now bring;
FOR tonight Is born in Bethlehem
, Saviour and a King"
And out on the lonely hillside
There sounds a glad refrain,
GLORY to God in the highest,
And peace, good will to men,
Fhen the shepherds leave the campfire
And the peaceful budding sheep
And they scramble to the roadway
Down the hillside, rough and steep;
And they follow toward the eastward,
Where the strange and flashing Star,
Guides them to the nanger,
In Bethlehem afar.
And 81 when +ba ha1~ 49, -,.,~,-~-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

1t has been three or four days now
since John D. Rockefeller has been In
dicted for anything
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

The Kansas City Star gets the eye OF
the chair to move to amend Senator
Foraker's name by striking out or"
This VIII be accepted by unanimous con-
sent
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

It is announced that Harry Thaw's
trial will cost a half million dollars.
The Thaws always have tried to buy
the most expensive things in the mar
Lee
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

Anyway. Hicks the miner has saved
two weeks on his board bill
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

THE PLUG.


When / was going to school we had
reIloW In our class who was plug.
He was always the butt of ridicule for
tne rest Of US and never seemed to have
any friends. His clothes looked funny
and ne had awkward, simple ways over
which we had much sport. No one
thought the plug would ever get any
where. But today that plug is drawing
larger salary than any two of the
smart fellows. He has more money,
more influence and more friends than
any OF the rest of US. The plug had a
gait that was slow. but 1t was sure.
He didn't appear to be a bit bright in
those school days, but he had a surface
that took on polish. The rust wore off
and he became a clear cut, sparkling
nugget. The fellow in the class who
slated for the presidency of the United
States, he was so smart But a few
years later he signed the wrong mans
name to check, and he hasn't done
much since. So don't make too much
fun of the plug A plug colt gen orally
makes a plug horse. but a plug boy
doesn't always make a plug man. The
plug boy of today may be your boss to-
morrow. Cultivate the plug more and
the smart Alec less. It will pay you
better ividends.-Osborne Farmer.
SENATOR. BAILEY'S MISTAKE.
Senator Bailey of Texas, made a pc
culiar mistake in his explanation of the
t1erce Oil company. He stated that ne
once borrowed $156 900 from President
Pierce for an Investment" and then
borrowed $1,500 from him to buy a
horse. Knowing the love of Texas peo-
pie for fine horses, 1t is strange that
Bailey did not tell them that he Dor
rowed the $156,0O0 to purchase blooded
animal, and the smaller sum for the
investment" All might have been for
given then.-Salina Journal.
A CONUNDRUM.
We should like to have been in
congress recently and heard the advo-
Gates of raising the salaries of con-
gressmen explain how some congress-
men start in poor as church mice and
in few years become wealthy, not
withstanding they have worked for a
salary of $1,000 a year and spent a
every two years to be reelected
Holton Recorder.
ONE BETTER THAN SEVEN
The president spent almost three
days on the Panama canal and is sure
that the work is going on all right, but
still he recommends a change OF man |
agement. He thinks, and correctly, !
that one man would manage better
than seven. How would the United |
States get along with seven presi- |
dents? One keeps it side stepping pref |
ty lively.-Leavenwor Post.
ma"
Ma" is the only person about the |
house who knows for a certainty what |
every other member of the family has
bought for Christmas. The church |
recognizes the Father Confessor, but
in the domain of the family all the
confessions are made to ''mother."=
ConcordiG Kansan.
ANOTHER EDITOR SUITED.
The Santa Fe railroad will not issue |
transportation after the first of the |
year but will pay cash for all adver- |
Using This suits exactly. Well walk |
hereafter and bank the amoney-Har-
veyville Monitor. ST.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

Santa Claus is a pretty good old
fellow.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25


The Santa Fe railroad Will not issue
transportation after the first of the
year but will pay cash for all adver-
Using. This suits exactly. Well walk
hereafter and bank the amoney-Har-
veyville Monitor. ea
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25
ONE BETTER THAN SEVEN.
ma"

Ma" is the only person about the
every other memb Der of the family has
bought for Christmas. The church
recognizes the Father COMPRESSOR. but
in the domain of the family all the
confessions are made to mother
COncordis Kansans
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

And 50 when the bells are ringing,
And the ground is white with snow,
think of these beautiful stories
OF the beautiful long ago
LOU A. COLEMAN.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

''Myi but old Russell is a storage bat
terry of energy. Doesn't he just fre one
with enthusiasm" Yep; used TO WORK
for him. and 1 never was fired any more
enthusiastically by any one Judge
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-25

It often wonder" remarked the soulful
young man, dreamily, what's the best
way to find out what a woman thinks OF
you"
Marry herr" snapped Pechham.-Balti-
more American
Gilpin observer., 1906-04-19
SARATOGA TO Be UNWA1ERsD FROM SURFACE.
Boilers Fired Up on No. 2 Shaft and Pumps
10 Be Started Later.

The boilers on No. shaft Of the Sara
toga mine in Russell district we're fired
up last Saturday and the work Of un-
watering the mine workings from the
surface has begun. Large water tanks
are to be used for dumping the water
and later on the pumps will most likely
be put to work. The diamond drill
which was to be used to tap the lower
Saratoga workings in the Newhouse tun-
mel has been abandoned as impracticable,
and the company being desirous Of max
ing this valuable property productive at
as early date as possible, have conclud-
ed to unwater the workings from the
surface as much as possible, repair the
shaft workings, clean out the levels and
put miners to work.
The lateral on the Saratoga vein in the
Newhouse tunnel is in nearly 1000 feet
east from the line Of the tunnel and we
understand this is to be continued right
along as valuable ore has been found al
most continuously while driving. The
total expense of driving and timbering
the lateral is somewhere in the neighbor.
hood OF sl2 per foot. Average samples
OF ore tested along the line Of the lateral
have given values Of over $50 per ton,
principally in gold.
With the Saratoga unwatered one OF
the largest and most profitable proper
ties in the state will again be added to
the shipping list.
Gilpin observer., 1906-04-19
CITY COUNCIL MEETS.
The Officials Who Served Last Year are All
Re.Appointed

The old council met for the last time
Thursday evening. After finishing the
business which was to come before that
body for final action adjournment was
taken and the new board was then called
to order. The most important business
to come before the meeting was the ap.
pointing of the several city officials. No
attention was paid to the custom usually
followed in selecting the men, to give
each ward as near as possible equal rep.
resentation. Instead OF equally dis
tributing the coveted positions the sec
ond and fourth wards, which while weak
in their display OF loyalty to the ticket
placed in the field in the recent election
by q few for their own selfish interests
under the name OF Republican ticket,
came forth with better maiorities than
the third, the first not to be considered
from the fact that that ward went Dem.
ocratic. The second and fourth wards
each received four Of the Offices. The
third only landed one Of the offices,
while the first ward got it where Adams
apple is found. Try as the Republican
alderman would to have a man selected
from his section he was turned down
cold. A ward that would give Demo.
cratic candidate flfty-one majority could
look for no recognition In an aldermanic