The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-07-06
Kidnapped the
Wrong Person

Well" resumed the man from Mis-
souri,, thus encouraged, according 10 |
the way they tell II up at Sitka, there
were two Eskimo villages somewhere
above the circle, but not very far apart,
and for some reason or other that
doesn't figure In the tale, these two VII
lagos were not on speaking terms with
each other In fact, there was sort
OF an east Kentucky feud on between
them, and whenever man from one
village met man from the other there
was some kind OF trouble between
them. | don't know whether II was
a battle with snowballs or a blubber-
eating contest. but anyhow II nearly
always ended fatally for somebody,
maybe an innocent bystander Well In
one OF these villages there was beau
teOus maiden Now, gentlemen, you
understand | am simply repeating what
they told me up there, and they didn't
crack smile when they said IT, There
was 4 beauteous maiden In one, and In
the other there was young man who
could outrun. outspear or lick any 9TH
err man In that section Of the Ice box,
according to claims OF his fellow-ciii-
zens. and. OF course. they set great
store by him. This here mighty man
OF yalor was scootin' around one day,
when he happened to meet the beaute-
Gus maiden aforesaid, who had mad
vertently strayed from her parents
Christmas castle. The result was the
same as usual The Eskimo man was
smltten sore and the Eskimo maid was
clean gone on him before the aurora
borealis could give warning. Well
young Teller made all kinds OF over.
lures 10 the girls pa, offered him wal.
rus tusks and husky dogs. and the Lord
only knows what else for the young
woman. but the old man laughed him
10 scorn. Then the youngster played
what he thought was a winning card
rolled In a barrel OF Standard oil
enough 10 feed the family all winter
and offered to swap even. This stag
gered the stern parent and he can't
pretty near maxim deal. but th'
neigh hors butted In about that time ant
the whole party chased the lover out Of
the city limits he vent back home
swearin'. by jiggers, he'd have tina
maiden II he got his feet wet In the at
tempt. and that. they say. is a terrible
oath 70: an Eskimo.
Well. after considerable hggerln
and nusin around he decided the onl,
way to get her was TO sneak In a
night. or when they was all asleep. ant
carry her on by force. Now, aecordin
IN what they told me up there. thes
Esklmos don't sleep In feather beds III
civilized people. but they crawl int
bags. pull the draw string tight owe
their heads ana snoofe until the alarr
clock rings. Young lochnivar he pa,
out irom town along about ten o'cloc
in he evening. accordin' to our reck
onin'. and. after trampln miles owe
the ict. cllmbln = mounaln. slidii
down a glacier and croSsin grea
chasm on a log. he reaches the land d
the Zoe and the home ~ the rrl. II
hribes the night Waterman with a bo'
tle 81 hair oil and then slips into N
snow Ialacc of mo ohduru'e sire Z
course. the whole family was slccplr
20 che reception nall That's q wa
the EstImos have they told me o.
there They say ~ warmer and moi
s1Cllhle Blt when they're ON sic,pI
IN sucks and me Illumination is po'
This Ongrcg1tin. together adds in n
difficulties ~ maklng % selection H'
i0cBnlylr didn't hesitate Could b
heart 30 mistaken about which 500
contained bis beloved G1sh' No q
p,tkel un th' likelIcst bundle threw
over ME shoulder and hikcl iDr =
suhutns % was a pretty hvfiy pagk1.
and there was evidently some obIc
! tlnns frum the inside 81 o. hui oU
hero tollrd steadily homcwari % wi
3 n risky Job To skin across that yhas
, on a slippery log With such a load b
e he $50 o.. and he climbed the glari
h and ne scaled the mountains Lol
: about rrtJln' un time he staggered In
hls own Village and up tn his own h.
tired out. but safe and victorious Ne
hy iigger,. the beauicous maiden W
IN his possession Now he would fca
his eyes upon her shining cuunteuan,
y Now tor one long. fond cmhmu
Trembling with Impotence. he %
open the sack
o. Gentlemen. said the Missourian,
= ne paused 10 rclirh, his cigar. ~ vh
" they iclu me up there Is true. the sho
must have been terrible"
Well. don't keen rs In suspeus'
exclaimed the rcd-headei man. WI
= was ir the seeks"
O. The Missouriau blew thrcc suio
'c rings and then calmly replied
.e Ills heart was mistaken. u was
y old man he had carried oG,"-cincI
ie natl Enquirer