Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1906-03-16

The Coming Primer
See the hen.
Is it not fine hen?
Yes; it is fine hen.
Is the hen up?
Yes; the hen is upon the fence.
Does the hen lay eggs?
No; the hen does not lay eggs.
What is the hen doing up on the fence?
The hen is trying to crow.
What kind of a hen is this?
This is new hen.
Some lawyers in any other profes.
sion would starve to death as quick.
1t is hard to say from this distance
whether the Sunday lid is on or off at
Walla Walla.
How many animals, in human form,
have blackmailed Blackstone, by try
ing to learn his precepts?
The Spokane Outburst is handling
the Spokane police force with an out
burst OF honesty and sincerity.
Seattle, at the recent city election,
refused to partake OF the buzzard sat
before the citizens as a political relish.
All job printers are in favor of the
House passing the pure.food bill at
once. Their business will increase, for
labels will be required.
The Spokesman Review is running a
serial story entitled, "Tbe Plum Tree"
The Spokane Outburst, no doubt, con-
siders it "gripe. giving" tale.
Did you ever notice that when a
woman enters . drygoods store she
grabs every piece of goods in sight and
takes feel at it to see if it is all wool?
Charity is a grand thing, and one
can sleep better after giving his share
to help those in distress, still, it seems
Japan has forgotten it has starving
subjects.
No wonder the Portland Oregonian's
makeup contains such q harmonious,
blending and sweet collection of mat.
ter on its editorial page, when one
considers it has paid Piper on its
salary list.
Some men are born lucky. An
Olympia man has spent 18 years
gathering medical receipts for his
scrap-book and he told me yesterday
that he had not been sick day in all
that time.
With all the Seattle spirit" no
press report has chronicled the FORM
ing OF 1.-THE Tide Land Club" only
eligible to those who have sold tide.
land tracts and paid $1,000 for the
sum of $15O,0O0.
Seattle has found . new apostle.
Mr.. George Cotterill, of that city, is
called the Apostle of Light and In.
telligence in the Municipal Ownership
party" Seattle needs such an apostle
one OF Intelligence, anyway.
Eight hundred inhabitants of Walla
Walla viewed the remains OF "Kid"
White at . local undertaker's estab.
lishment in that city. It seems they
had more genuine nerve than the
"Charge OF the Four Hundred"
The House Committee on Territor.
les treated the citizens of Alaska, IS
did the insurance people citizens Of
New York-with contempt-when the
bill to provide q Territorial govern.
ment for the great Northern country
WAS tabled.
The recent death OF Ex-Governor
Hogg, of Texas, will be mourned by
every resident OF the "Lone Star State"
who believed in Equal rights to all,
special privileges to none." May his
sleep be peaceful, under the green of
the grabs, under the blue OF the sky.
A Wisconsin man says he will marry
any woman who can cook. There is q
vulgar wretch who prefers stomach to
romance, and carries his whole men.
tality beneath the waistband of his
trousers, where it is safe from all a..
saults save q bombardment OF hot
biscuits and weiners.
, The Fairvie,r Magazine, "a little
journal Of good nature for saints. sin.
ners and U.s." has been launched in
the literary sea at Tacoma. As 10 the
saints. I don't know of any in Tacoma
unless it be one known as Pete Sand
berg. He is . saint in the eyes of
some people, 80 am informed.
While all saloons in Seattle were
closed from 6 A. N. to Z p. NJ. during
the recent election, it seems from the
number of drunks seen in the streets
between those hours, that the stock OF
"wines, liquors and cigars" of each
"booze bazaar" must have been placed
in the empty bedrooms upstairs.
The recent death Of Capt. P. B.
johnson. founder and editor OF the
Walla Walla Union for nearly two
decades, recalls the fact that E. R.
Burk, for years correspondent of the
Union from Dayton. always noticed
marriage licenses under the head of
"Glory Tickets" Burk died some
years ago.
An Eastern business man who
stopped . day in Seattle en- route to
Olympia remarked: "Talk about your
graftersl With real estate sharks, rent