The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-12-16
Mars. RUBBERINO
IVl ON CHRISTMAS.
A Neighbor Exposed-Way TO Treat
Husbands-A Friend Who
Sent a.Gift Rebuked.

to her caller. you'd think, to hear her tell
it and to see her act il, that that Gitbye
woman, in the fat across the hall, belonged
to some royal family or other.
The very idea Of my husband telling me
that she reminded him OF an empressl he
saw her swishing through the hall the other
evening, making q noise as II she had sand
paper hidden sway all over her, and filing
the place with the odor OF some horrid
musky perfume that she uses. and he said:
That woman always makes me think
OF the Empress Messalina.'
when James says things like that TO me
about other women he well o that he's
in for a good sitting dow upon, and he got
it then. l told him that my idea OF en-
presses was that they were at least ladies'
and that he was in q mighty shabby business
m~aligning an empress who was no oub a
lady by comparing her with such a creature
as the Gitbye woman.
We'll, you know that Gitbye woman's
husband is only a clerk in a bucket shoppy
kind OF a brokers' oc.ce that nobody ever
heard Of, and he's head over heels in debt
to all the tradesmen in IN neighborhood-
don't / see them sticking their bills in the
Gitbyes' letter box every time l pass through
the vestibulet-but she calls him q broker.
and wears the fashiest clothes you ever saw
In your born days, and goes around swishing
and swirling and izgigging like q comic
valentine on a Christmas tree
"Oh, YES, it was about her Christmas
shopping that l wanted to tell you. I met
her down town in n OF the big department
stores the other afternoon, where l went
to get some handkerchiefs for James's
| relatives. 1 always send them handker-
chiefs for Christmas, and they're mighty
lucky to get even handkerchief, for they
live in the country, and they never send
us anything but sons apples or a country
cured ham or some ordinary, everyday,
ungifty thing Of that sort.
"Oh, but about Mrs. Gitbyei When l
came Upon her che was at the perfume
counter and / caught her right in the act
Of looking at some OF those ten cent walls
Of cheap perfume-she meant them for
gifts for her relatives out West, of course
but when she saw that l saw what she was
buying she pretended to be amused over
the very idea Of any perfumes being sold
for 10 cents, and she stuck the bottles back
into the rack and began talking about the
most expensive perfumes TO the s~alesgirl.
she picked out about a dozen bottles
of extracts at 81 a bottle, and then she
selected about a gallon OF different kinds OF
extensive toilet waters-I was standing
by and chatting with her just to see what
she would do and how far she would go
with her airs-and then she picked over the
most expensive French soaps and ordered
four or FIVE boxes of them. and h she
ordered the whole batch of things to be
sent I'D to her fat c. o. d.
Then she told me that she wanted me
to help her pick out a gift reading lamp
| and | went with her to the lamp department
/ solely for the purpose OF seeing how long
she would stick with the farce, and she
licked out the l~oveliest dull silver and opal
lam with beaded shade fringe, for sl35
and ordered it sent to her fat c. o. D., and
would you believe it, the woman never
cracked a smilep
You'd actually nave supposed that she
really fancied she was buying those things.
Then I went with her and stood by while
she bought a box Of silk stockings, at a
a pair. for her dear little niece in Omaha
she told me, in her Aourishy way, and-oh.
she ordered sent C.. o. ID.
We'll, il was such a joke, my dear, that I
lust hurried up to my fat to be here when
| the Things kDOutu dTElNt. L JuHb IA
to be on hand when those c. o. d. things
got there.
sI watched out of the front window till
I saw the department store wagon along
toward s in the evening, n then the two
men on the wagon came a-staggering up
with theirarms weighted down with bundles.
Then l ran to my fat front'door, that looks
right out upon Mrs. Gitbye's entrance door,
and she came to the door when the men
with the bundles rang the bell, and che
said to the men, as innocent as you please:
What in the wide world are these
thingsl'
And they told her. and she told then
that she hadn't ordered any such articles
at all. and didn't deal at that department
store. ANYHOW, and that somebody was
imposing upon the firm or trying to play
foolish Joke upon her, and that the mer
would have to take the things back. The
men went away grumbling with the bundles
and-my dear, I simply couldn't resist it,
opened my door wide before Mrs. Gitby'
had closed hers, and I said to her:
Dearest, did you find hat the lamp
didn't suit under the evening light, anC
did they send you the wrong stockings
and | suppose, OF course, the laundering
salesgirl got the perfumes all mixed VI
and didn't send you the right ones?'
And you should have seen the expires
sion of hatred on the woman's face then
Dear me, James couldn't have said tina
she looked like the Empress Messalina j
he could have seen her distorted feature
at that moment, for I dare say Messalini
was too much Of a lady ever to lose he
temper like that.
-'Wretched busybodyr she Kissed. an,
abe slammed the door with all her might
and gracious sakes alivel l had to lean n
against the hat rack, 1 was laughing 3
hard.
81 told my husband about it when hi
came home, but men haven't got any NOR
sense OF humor than ~porcupines, and h
didn't see the fun OF il at all and took tina
high and lofty tone of his about meddlin
; in other peoples affairs-it's perfectly sad
dening. that's what it is, how little idea me
have OF a jokel
Talking about Christmas, it's disgustin
the way some women try TO gouge their hus
bands for expensive gifts. All OF Oh
women in this place begin to wheedle an
pamper and bamboozle anG coddle th.i
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