davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
NO KoWToWlNc FOR HIM.
HotSl Man Who Was Not TO Be Over.
awed by Dignitaries OF
State.

They tell this one on former Gov.
George Hoadly Of Ohio:
Once upon time, in the midst Of a
campaign, Mr. IIoadly was to deliver
a speech at a little town in the great
and glorious Buckeye State When he
reached The one hotel the town boast
ed he walked up to the register and
wrote his name. The proprietor head
porter-steward-headwaiter-depot run
ner was behind the desk In his shirt
sleeves, his hat on the back OF his
lead, and n cigar stump held between
his teeth. When the visitor had put
down bis John Hancock, the factotum
turned the register around, read with
out the flicker Of an eyelid the name
there written. wrote 10" beside It
with a lead pencil, and said:
"You kin jest take yer grip right up
that stairway there an back down the
hall clean TO tn end. Yer rooms right
on III left hand side Of tn hall, in tn
corneF-number 10"
with considerable astonlshment and
not little injured dignity OhIos chief
executive pointed To his name. smiled
family, and said:
. Il am George Hoadly"
yep; notice" said the rustic
without turning hair AN yer
rooms right there at tn end OF tn
hall-number TO- Can't miss It."
With more hauteur, and almost
Quiyering with outraged Importance,
the guest said impressiyely:
Il am George Hoadly. governor Of
the state Of Ohio!"
Turning then, with a look OF eI-
asperated impatlence on his face. the
hotel man exclaimed:
We'll. what dye expect me { do
kiss ye?''-JudGe
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
coNoUERINC SQUASH BUG.
Best Methods Of Protecting the Vines
from the Ravages Of This
Pest

After the squashes. Cucumbcrs ana
melons are well started the squash
bug makes It's appearance Those who
have a garden know the fiat rusty
black creature with It's vile od0r. In
spring or early summer the eggs are
laid on the leaves and stems Of plants,
sometimes fingly. but usually In
groups of from ~ to 90 They are
brownishyeIlow and easily found
Fortunately the insect confines It's at
tenuon almost entirely TO cucurbl-
taceOus plants
As the bugs grow they scatter over
the leaves. molting i've times before
they reach maturity. Naturally the
plant is weakened by such attentions.
A leaf that has nourlshed many bugs
will turn yellow. and II the pests are
numerous enough the whole plant may
be killed II Is sometimes claimed
that the bug stlngs the leaf and }, Is
II. but II would be- more to the point
to say that the leaf Is tapped and It's
e-blood sucked out In autumn the
adult bug c-sWls under a board. stone
or rubbish and remains tlll spring
The Nympha may be Killed by a
spray of kerosene emulsion or tobacco
water. ~ their bodies are soft and
unprotected But the old bugs are
proof against this kind Of treatment
Th,n hard-shelled backs protect them.
The most practicable remedy thus
far seems TO be- hand picking. says
the Orange Judd Farmer II should
begin with the nrst bug and be
repeated a. short intervals The best
tine Tor II II IN the morning while
II & cool and the bugs sluggish
A convenient way r. Ia drop the
bugs into a can containing water with
a little kerosene The bugs will swim
in clear water. but the nlm of oil on
tho surface n sure death Boards or
shingles placed on the ground are an
agfstancc In gathering The bugs They
Will seek these shelters In mld-afier-
no"n and remain dormant ull Il u
warm In the morning. when they can
easily be- gathered Crushing the eggs
e. the leaves H. preventive measure
that should not De neglected.
So FAR as my experience goes. tho
bsst way 20 guard against the bug Is
90 plant the vines among potatoes II
has rarely found them there have
rrvn good crops ~ squashes IN this
way and found few or none of the In.
fer's though IN other places they
acre numerous
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

continue 20 suffer rather than submit
10 examinations which 30 many physi.
clans propose In order 20 intclligently
treat the disease; and this Is the rea-
son why 40 many physicians fail 10
cure female disease.
This is snlso the reason why thousands
upon thousands 81 women are CORE.
spending with Mrs Pinkham, daughter.
Ia law Of Lydia r. Pinkham. at Lynn,
Mass. To her they can confide every
detail of their Illness. and from her
great knowledge. obtained from years
of experience In treating female Ills
Mrs. pinkham can advise sick women
more wisely than the local physician
Read how Mrs Pinkham elpcd Mrs r.
c Willadscn ofManning. la. She writes:
Dear Mr. Fnkham.
Z" can truly say that von have saved my
life, and ] cannot erprrss my gratitude IT,
words. Before | wrote 20 Won telling YOU
how felt. had doci1rcd Tor over two years
ftsady AMI spent lo's ~ money IN meicines
b-iies but II al fails-i 'n 10 me any good
hAi female trouble AMI would daily have faint
ing spells harkarh@ hrarng down pains and
my monthly periods werr very irregular and
finally easel ] wrote 20 YOU for your hd-
Wv AMI r~'rivsi a letter ftill ~ instructions
Just what ~ 30 AMI also commenced a. take
lydia y Ftnkhams Vegetable Compunnd,
ami have l-~n restored 20 perfect health
Had u not t-~n for you | would have bccn
In iuy grave today
Mountains of proof establish the fact
that no medicine IN the world equals
Lsdia +. pinkhams Vegetable Com.
piund for restoring womcn's health
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
JoTTINos

Try to harrow as soon after plov.
ing ~ possible,
Two good stalks Of corn In hill Ia
the best number.
An even stand ~ three stalks of corn
u the Hill is desirable and will glyo
better results than more or less
Most farmers take their chances on
The gcrmlnahlliiy " seed. This fact
IL the cause u much loss every year
The quickest way to start sprouts of
Irish potatoes II to cut them In small
pieces. lay In fats. cover with sand.
and place them In llRht. warm place.
Why spend much time In trying 10
make the bean poles set irmly' Jus,
tie them together At the top In groups
ot four and ~ form pyramid-shapcd
stakes
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
n.rI,nhln pinr-r

ny some means mother and daush-
ter managed tn gain access to Pade-
rwskis sanetum. The mother was
proud ~ her daughter and the daugh-
ter had aspirations She desired Pad.
srewskrs opinion Of her skill Padcrcv-
ali listened. or appeared 10. while the
mother beat time appruvinsly A. last,
with a nnal crash. the girl rose from
the stool and the mother flushed with
pleasure Tell me. she whispered TO
the artist. tell me In confidence What
do you think oi herr" Amiably the
artist rubbed his hands together u
think she must be very charitable
Surely she letts,h not her left hand
know what her right hand docth"
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
NUGGETS OF KNOWLEDGE.

There are ladies' smoking cars on
English railways.
Alligator. a popular native dish in
India. tastes Ike veal.
The wood used In the best pianos
has been seasoned 90 years
These who reach 50 Ia good health
are likely. statistics show. to last to
20.
over 100000 pounds OF human hair.
valued at I5OOO0O. Is sold annually
10 Paris.
The majority ot criminals can draw
and paint That Is why artists can
rarely get credit
In many parts Of Switzerland the
government buries the dead. supplying
eoflns and undertaken FREQ Of cost
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
He Didn't Rise.

Indeed" the lecturer went on IN a
qulfilcal way. u believe am justified
In asserting that nine women cut oi
10 practically propose TO the mea they
become engaged 90. A. test, | would
ask an married men In the audience
whose wives virtually popped the
question % them 90 arise"
There was a suhducd rustic IN the
auditorium. and In the dense silence
that cumci could be- heard slbilaui
feminine whispers Ia concert. Just
you dare a. stand up'=JudEc.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
FACE ALL BROKEN OUT.
Troubled Almost a Year-compls1lon
Now Perfect and Skin Soft,
White and velvsty.

Il had bccu troubled With a hrrai.
inf out on my face ana arms for almos,
year aud had the services oi several
physicians. but they didn't srrm % 10
auy goOd, Some time ae1 one III my
friends recommended Cutrura 10 me.
! secured some. and after using L several
months ! vas completely cured. can
highly recommend Cuucura soap a. bc.
ms the very bcst complexion Soap made
Il creates a perfect complexion. leaving
the skin soii. white. and vrl,cty.
now use Cuttufa Suap all the time and
recommend "a usc o. my friends Maud
loggns. X. =. ID No, !, sylvia. Tcaa Aus.
!, lq6."
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
sEETIENT SENTENCES.
Close quarters-,he mIsers.

Close quarters-,he miser's
A difference In terms-congress and
jail.
Holding a meeting does not deter
It's progress.
Government bonds-in the United
States prison.
Even a muddy stream can leap clear
over the falls
II doesn't take much cultivation TO
raise big howl
A burglar Is likely 10 put out the
lights when he lights out
Try and keep pleasant even when
you come 10 the cross roads
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

catheter. took to my bed. and the
doctors failing to help, began using
Doan's Kidney Pills. The urine soon
came freely again, and the pain grad
ually disappeared. have been cured
eight years, and though over 70, am
as active as a boy"
Sold by all dealers. 70 cents a box.
Foster-M -Mllburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
)ADlAhNp6
ARM.
6VENfk,,
-. - -.
A GOOD ROAD?
A ulrc11s(cn By Edward X. Parkin-
~. 1n6 Comment by Editor
country Gentleman.

~ ~ rpads that have ever been
suII1 ~ lhose constructed by the
- ~ ~ or nftcon centuries ago,
~ n. arc to-day almost perfect
- .|@/ a what roads should be.
&.l' 1.&1n had width Of 80 feet.
~ o.><1<uts Of heavy stone at the
1ollom. al bitten one or more layers
A eIcn1 1&1ded In cement 10 make the
rcd 44(crDroof The two cuts show
f1s 1xl <7pes Of ancient Roman
"A ~ 1&tn argued that such roads
uoa'1 to1[ b. much 10 build In these
<s1. 4 &|rh wages To BE- sure. the
l1ll|1 cc1< would be enormously
&rmI1f 11k the final cost would. on
(no oE11f bud be- much less
Gano y D. Roman roads arc Zoo
yo1u ~. M are stlll IN fair con.
<|1|m lll say. for the sake Of
orru1 ~. that a modern macadhm
lo1& uI|| b. 20 years without hav.
In1 q ~ n,enslycIy repaired. at the
on1 & I&zi tme. however the road
uiII b1I6 d b. practically reconstruct.
e. n I111f o. the extent of half the
crIr|11I a So a new road will b.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
A Matter of cour,ssY. Mer,lr.

Mr Ncrvcy-Thc object u my call
upon you this evening. Mr.. GoldruN-
Mr. GoltrnX tstcrnlyl Yes, you've
come 90 tell me that you wish TO
marry my daughter and want 10 say
right here and now
Pardon me- | come 10 tell you
that am going to marry your daugh-
ter convinced her and her mother
that Il was NO more than fair to put
you wise Philadelphia Press
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

Miss Country Maid was reading
In a magazine tina, In the city hotels
one often sees palms about the dining
rooms. What Kind " palm Is the most
promlnentl
Mr nlncout-The waltcr's-Chioago
Daily News
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
The Watsr snnnlr.

II Is nnc to have plenty " good wa.
ter on the farm for everything. and
somr means should be rcsorted 10 10
set such a supply II Il IA lacklns. The
gasoline engine slmpllnes this propo.
fltlua very much.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

in bad wealth er
brought kidney trou-
bles on me, and /
suffered wenty
years with sharp,
cramping pains in
the back and urinary
disorders. | often
had to get up a doz-
en- times at night TO
urinate. Retention
set in, and I was
obliged TO use the
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
IAeonie
she wrre'

Nhc WfUtet
Circumstances over which I have
no control compel me 90 reject your
oner u marriage Yours, etc"
lie wired;
What circumstances Reply pre-
paid"
She wired,
"Yours. Collcct"-Cleveland Leader.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

method described by my diagram We
think the very best Place your track
on an incline with the roof. aud put
on rollers on the doors at the same In.
cline They will open very easily.
says Rural New Yorker. AMI shut hard.
bat they can easily be managed from
inside.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

's',' Por seed corn IL planted
~ ,,,u uneven y, stand may be caper,cd
\, ',s o' barren or untitled s,,lks
=, var. which are even and well
NJ. At Goth ends, then she'll and
~ ! s.aln through a tanning mill
AsAt seed. WV OD' h'
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

II makes man u 80 feel awful,
Old to hear a boy ~ 10 talking about
the things he used 10 do when he was
Mid
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
NM on Oh H0MAN moan.

~ 1 paid for every 90 years
in 600 years. the age q
1I q D. Roman roads. We shall
~ &@IH nnI paid fnf 90 poor roads
1rtei That n mile of Roman
11| I'D cost On times on much as
: |@ u our marhiam road. which
4 III wouldn't 'bc l0fs % money
f<75 81 fu.l,i iurr and inconycn.
i11w D. snf'.i'nt reason f0r building
Ic1| n would last a., least 100
I|&[| La O.l excuse. that tho con
GI(|1I| n .l different aui our cli.
u1'| G. lnrl 0n roads does not seem
q |&|I u.t g,lght
II< D. f. vr build cur roads 10
a11& d 1hfry ami U'i,ntimcs With 20
'"11 - fmyut Ou The Part ~ mo en.
E''@I& that 'he wonder g. not that
~ - last Ions bot that they
- a ng a. they 90.
@1|& D. uh1 vas one ~ the best
'.|@ rra1 builders. constructed his
i7 To- ii,a that sh,n any road
- ~ rofolghly uud,rifalncd. so a.
? permanently hard. crushed
9l rrr may 10 used. the pave
''' humau practice becoming IN
- Please note thoroughly
.-== @I inri. and crushed stone may
The point a.. how many
'|' ryait,ds are thoroughly un.
''''ff p. fo that they remain per.
|'F hafd' I icsl safe In sav.
one IN ten, IN fact. tie roads
tlic 81 cities and suburbs
a. a rule. unictdralncd In
Fanre which has perhaps the
aia ln the world. ihr roads
d'l into sections, and one or
are pnt In charge Of a sec.
= k''p it In perfect tcpalr
= required 10 80 over the
rfN day ami IN every section
Toulouse. With a quantity
ready tor repair work al
han' The result g. the cost
'haurr Is very low and the
'' As' tor years
Edward X Parkinson.
nmfniIur upon the above Ar.
.N Mr Parkinson. the editor
country Gentleman saws
t.rs0n has preached a sub
' certainly deserves most
consideration. n "a mssai,m
gm,s u',oi and euuri the
lh''t u NAV be questioned
N Us very much better In the
an Than the mudhank 4, 70
'aai Is. ii will shortly revert
onIliion about "a bad
'' other hand. the weigh, n,
- opinion seems al present "a
'N.' the attempt 10 build Ro.
'I' IN Tits country. Not oniy
,NWnse excessively great bu,
N'''y Is unnecessary with or
are IN draining Thus Mr
ind'on, In his book on roads
''m'nn. says that the Roman
-1 "efo remarkable for th,i,
ahi durability. and for M.
u anyone were 20 unwls,
aU'mp, to build similar road.
'n' cos, would b. from four !,
um'' the present cost az on,
NFn'I'c modern pa,cm,n,s
a', In every way. better ~,
uses and upon which IN,
o' The United States are e,,I
oi dollars" ' o''
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

Willie Gushcr-just let me press
one klss on those coral llps9
swce, singer Sir, I already have a
press agent ChicaFn ally News
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
HAY DOORS IN BARN.
Placing Tracks for Them on an In
cline Will Facilitate Open
ing Them.

There has been great trouble In and
Ing a suitable method oi hanging doors
fo' unloading hay with fork or slings
from the outside Of building. The
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

when yuu see q man reading "Ho~
TO Make Easy Money In Wall Street"
It's time to collect that quarter he
owes yuu.-ruCk.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
Have sirnlrhi Row.

Don't be satisfied with crooked ruwa
Nothing adds to the appearance "
field more than straight rows, be
tidss they are more easily cultivated.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

respondent " the Farm and Home.
and have made muIllcs out u
smoUth wire. like cut. which have
grD,ci ntst class. They Do not scratch
The moss ot the horses or trouble their
breathing as do cloth bags. etc.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
4 W0MAN'S ORDEAL
BREADS DOCTORS QUESTIONS
II ousands Write 10 Mira Pinkham Lynn,
Mass, and Receive Valuable Advice
Absolutely Confidential and Froe

There can be no more terribl, ordeal
10 a delicste, sensitive, refined woman
than 10 Gc Obliged 10 answer certain
questions IL regard 70 her private Ills,
even when those questions are asked
BY her family physician. and many
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

"ilow immaculate everything is
kept around that soda fountain" b"
eyes. oven the ice h freshly shaved
every hour "-Loulsyille Courier Jour.
nal.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
You ncn,t Have 20 Wait.

Evcy dosc makcs you feel better lax
IuS kccps your whole INSIDE right Not one
gupc tn a tull bottle Sold On the money
back plan everywhere. pucc - cents.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
How to Go

When you have occasion to travel, use the
same discrimination in buying a ticket that
you would in buying anything else. Assure
yourself in advance Of what you may expect
in the way Of comfort and convenience en-
route. II there is any information you want
about prospective trip, write me. will
gladly give you the information. address
w. s. ST. GEORGE
General Passenger Agent VI. X. & T. R'y
ST. Louis, Missouri
J.. p DAILY.
Equitable Bldg, Atlanta. Ca
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
A Harmless LAXATIVE.

II you must take a Laxative. take harm.
Ices one. laN fus docs not gfpc. therefore
dos not ,rniatc. Irritation is what doc,
the harm. rucr ~ cents.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

The man who talks about civic
Righteousness ousht 10 kccp his own
backyard clean.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

love oi eran also laughs at lccs.
smiths Puck.
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
mUzzLE FOR CORN FLOWING
Necessary Protection When cultivat.
Ing the Growing
Crop.

This wire muEsle Is very easy to
make and Is much better than The
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01
IN CONSTANT AGONY.

A West Virginian's Awful Distress
Through Kidney Troubles.
w. L. Jackson, merchant, Of Park
ersburg, w. Va, says: Driving about
The Crittenden record., 1906-06-01

nail muFElc. For
cultlvating corn
or drilling wheat
In corn muEEling
IL always ncccs.
sary says a cor
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-08-02
JULY WAS COOL AND DRY
Record for Month Compared With that
Of Past 35 Years

July was good average month in
temperature. though rather dry, as the
figures of Observer Sherier striking an
average for the past 50 years show.
Within IL degrees of the highest point
ever recorded by the mercury in July
and within five degrees of the lowest
point reached in the month the average
vas "A degrees, or one degree below
the average during 50 years. The
warmest day was the 21st, wheIf "a was
reached. and the coolest was the 10th,
when the mark was 81. There is now
an accumulated excess Of temperature
since Jan 1 of 1872. The rainfall was
2.2G inches, against an average of 3.Ji.
There is an accumulated deficiency
since Jan 1 of 4.03 inches. of which
1.2S inches resulted from last months
dryness. There were II clear days, 8
partly cloudy and > cloudy.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-08-02
SMITH BEATS PROFESSIONALS
Amateur Golf Champion Takes Honor
Prize in Tournament

New York, Aug. ALEC Smith, of
Nassau, J.. l., this years western and
national open champion, and the Met
ropolitan Golf association champion of
last year, won the honor prize in the
professional golf tournament at Van
Cortlandt park today. Fifty-seven of
the best professional golfers in the
country took part in the tournament
and Smith won out cleverly. His total
of 301 for 70 holes, was five strokes
better than the second man, G. c. Turn
bull, of Waterbury, Conn.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-08-02
The End OF the World

OF troubles that robbed f. II. Wolfe Of
Bear Grove, Iowa, of all usefulness.
came when he began taking Electric
Bitters. He writes: Two years ago
kidney trouble caused me great suffer
ing. which / would never have survived
had | not taken Electric Bitters. They
also cured me of general debility"
Sure cure for all stomach. liver and
kidney complaints, blood diseases,
headache, dizziness and weakness or
bodily decline. Price. so cents. Guar
anteed by Hartz & Ullemeyer's drug
store.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-08-02
GAMES TOMORROW.
Rock Island at Decatur.
Peoria at Davenport.
Bloomington at Dubuque.
Cedar Rapids at Springfield

Bloomington, ILL.,, Aug. 1.-Two out of
three was the record of the handi-
capped Islanders at Bloomington. Yes
terday's game was won through well
placed hits with the assistance of err
rors on the part of Bloomington at
critical stages. Scott had the game in
hand save in the fourth inning and the
home team was unable to bunch safe
drives except in that session. Barker
was slightly injured in the ninth and
Smith went to the box, while Wright
took the first sack.
The feature of the game was the
fielding of Cook, Wanner and Beck.
The two first named jointly accepted
81 chances and cut off many drives
that seemed safely tagged for one or
more bases Score:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-08-02
A ROUNDUP OF
SPORTING GOSSIP

Designer Nat Herreshoff. the wizard
of Bristol, X. L., will have two racing
yachts in the trials to select representa-
tives of this country in the races with
Germany in September. The craft are
the Skiddoo and the Chewink VI. Both
boats were completed month ago and
We're sailed around Cape Cod, the Skid
doc arriving at Marblehead two weeks
before the Chewink VI. The latter was
weather bound four days in Vineyard
Haven, Mass, and when she made the