Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-03-14

bundles Of the long green as II Is
passed to us by the lobbyist. In these
days and times, my lad, one must not
inquire too closely into means and
methods. Politics is sacred trus:
conferred on man by the sovereign
people. The mere fact that the sover
eign people are lot of absurd idiots
when it comes to comforting such
trusts, makes but little difference. The
assertion that the person in whom the
sacred trust is reposed promptly digs
around the corner to the nearest polit-
ical hock shop and soaks it for what
he can get. is not germane to the is.
sue at ALL
MAY we call man who deals in
queries little billy.
eve may, my dear nephew" replied
Uncle George, land in moments of pas
sion we infrequently refer to him BY
other names, but he is above all things
politician. The sane man VINO can
earn a dollar and half day who
dickers with politics is commonly
termed dun idiot. I may add, how.
ever, that there are some millions OF
these idiots in our country. A poll
tician is sometimes more than a Do1i-
tician, my boy. Frequently he is.
financier, and as q general rule he is
an exceedingly wise man who under
stands that his first duty is to himself
and his family, and that charity be-
gins at home and usually ends there.
A man who has once been a politician
is never really anything else. He may
be convict part Of the time, and
politician the rest. but he is a. heart
politician throughout, and his heav-
en- is a civic position with free access
to the dough bag at any hour. One
may describe a politician even more
fully, Dilly, as a man who insists on
doing something unnecessary for peo~
pie who do not want 1t done, and col
Letting money for doing it against the
will of those people. In the country
districts a politician is man a shade
better than gold brick enthusiast
and shade worse than lightning rod
agent. In the cities he is an evil and
like the poor, he will be always with
u.s.
"D1d you ever know a politician.
dear unc'e?" asked little billy.
forming the acquaintance of poll
tician, Dilly, IS like contracting the
habit of chewing tobacco. Unneces-
sary in the first place, and cumber-
some in the second place. AS 1 said
before, politics is a game, and the pub
lie is always 1t, which becomes mo-
notonous in the course of time. Re
turning to your dictionary, my boy.
it is we'll to note that politics is de-
scribed as having the peace, safety and
prosperity of the nation at heart. That
description, billy, reminds me Of an
other dictionary definition. A party
Of erudite gentlemen were compiling
one Of those useful works, and they
had described a crab as a small red
animal which walks backward One
of these gentlemen met great sci
enlist and told him Of the definition.
The good scientist elevated his port
eyebrow and observed: You are cor
rect, sir, in your description, with the
exception that crab is not an animal,
it Is not red and it does not walk back
wards I make no special charge, my
boy, but I would not advise you to
pin your faith to the description Of
politics you have just read me. 1t
may cause unholy mirth in the minds
of those who are next. A brief brush
with politician is apt to make one
get hep so hurriedly that one tears OF a
hangnail in the process
'But are not politicians useful, dear
uncle?" inquired billy.
eyes, my dear nephew replied
Uncle George. "They are of as much
use as a monkey wrench to woman
lacing corset