davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
NE IS USUALLY A FAILURE.


A most difficult person to or
gsnize" is the office boy. We hear
SO much about the bright American
boy and the achievements of the
public schools that the wonder Is
where the Office BOYS come from.
They bring certificates OF some sort
from their teachers but Every
big concern has q procession Of boys
trooping through its offices and
works day after day, but the boys,
for the most part, are obstinate and
incompetent. When bright boy
appears he finds his opportunity
quickly enough, and if he has stay
ing powers he will get on. But the
majority of youngsters that apply
for jobs have no manners, they
can't spell, and they are always
watching the clock . They don't
know whether San Francisco is in
Cuba or the Philippines or whether
Los Angeles is in Spain or the Sand
wich Islands, and discriminatory In
the matter of foreign postage is be-
yond them. Discipline they object
to, and they abhor taking orders.
When it comes to that, the average
young American of today does not
take orders easily. He seems to
suspect some hideous design upon
his freedom and equality. After all,
documentary information in geog-
raphy, orthography, the wearing of
hats and the omission of coats in
offices and certain glimmerings of
politeness are mot without impor
lance in business. The average APP
plieant for Office boydom has no no
ton of responsibility. He will take
job today and abandon il tomor-
row on any pretext or on none at
all.
But in capacity for yexation the
average stenographer can give him
points. Most stenographers are
good lsundresses or baseball pitch
ers spoiled. Polysyllables try their
souls. Tie uncommon word fud-
dies their KEYS. Language is, in
their minds, device by which in
telligent communication can be pre-
vented, and initiatiyeis a term with
out meaning. They believe that
punctuation is given only to the
gods, for they themselves know
nothing of it. On the other hand,
really capable stenographers are
among the most helpful equipments
Of business Office, -but their rarity
is beyond belief. Arthur Warren in
Success Magazines.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
Athletic Oratory.

After every speech he delivers
Bourke Cochran is Il sore man phys
ically. ANY one who has ever seen
him in oratorial action knows why
he is sore. The old hagellant monks
were not much more cruel TO them
selves than Cochran is to himself.
His fayorite gesture is to slap his
thighs, and it is no love tap he
gives them. It's good beating.
Cochran is one of the old school
muscular, desk pounding school of
orators. If he could not hammer
his desk and thump his thighs he
would probably think his powers
failing.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
Too Exclusive.

There is such a thing as being too
exclusive, The other day the Hotel
Cambridge, in New York city,
closed its doors. For twenty years
its policy has been eXclusiyeness
and avoidance of publicity. Its
guests were all of social standing,
and none could gain admission ex-
cept through this recommendation.
The dining room was for the use
of The guests only, and admission to
it from the outside was by invitation
only.-Buffalo Commercial.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
Too We'll Posted.

"Woman," said he in agonized
tones, you have broken my heart"
She laid her ear to his manly
bosom.
NO." said she after listening IN
tently, 'there is not the slightest
evidence Of organic lesion. There
is slight palpltation, due perhaps
to cigarettes; that is ALL"
And now the young man swears
that hereafter when he makes love
to girl he will be sure she is not
medical student.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
A Pronisina aox

My boy, said the frenzied finan-
,Ier, you must remember that YOU
can t eat your cake and have it."
but, father" the young man
commented, surely | can keep my
own cake and eat the other chaps
The light of great Joy shone in
the fathers eyes. He foresaw for
his son a splendid future. Seldom,
indeed, had he heard the vital prin-
elple OF high finance more trench
a a laid down.-Philadslphia Bull
letin.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
The Oldest Man.

Says writer in the Cape Times
If Cape Town: "Stuurman, an old
bushman who lives on the top of a
hill at Stuurman's huts, in the Pri-
eska district of the Cape Colony,
claims to be the oldest man in the
world. lie is said to be ING years
old and his wife, his second, over
100. 1t is known for certain that
sixty-fve Years ago he was verv
old man and that his son is more
than ninety years old"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
WHEN THF cHIlORFh

Need laxative. have colds. lever or an!
of the many little ills that heset child
hOod. CIV, IN, m Baner's syraPof Prnnfs
the laxative tonic. A teAsPoohini
occasionally will keep their bowels
healthy and regular. IL will ward on
NOR. serious diseases AMI will he found
invaluable A. a childieh's medicine.
syrup 1T Prtu-s j. the hest Of all family
medicines. II will positively cure Con
s,ipation, impure blood. headaelIe aud
skin eruptiol.s. Get q free sample bottle
AID try il tonight. For sale at John
W. ThurstOn's drug store.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22

Mr.. Toole, the famous English
comedian, Notwithstanding his age,
is still fond of his joke. The vet
eran actor had dining with him
lately a theatrical gentleman who is
famed for and boasts about his vast
appetite. After the last course of a
plentiful dinner the aged comedian
slgnaled to a waiter, to whom he
whispered pointing to large palm
that decorated the center of the ia
ble), "Take that away-he'll eat it,
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
livinu on Cheese.

The new treatment for bringing
stout people to slim, elegant and
comfortable proportions consists, IN
the first place, in eating all manner
of cheeses, to the exclusion of all
other foods save mountaineering bis
cults, fruit and a limited quantity
of meat once day. You may break
fast on cream cheese, lunch on Cor
gonzola and Camembert, take Ched-
dar sandwiches for tea and a light
supper of Stilton and Brie. But at
dinner you must have ''soupcon'
of meat and nothing rich. - En-
change.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
He Was Different,

Snow, look here, SIR" exclaimed
the gamekeeper inpcratively, didn't
you see the notice at the end of this
road, Pedestrians not alIowedT"
81 did observe notice stating that
pedestrians were not allowed here"
replied the mild hammered gentle
man readily, "but, you see, I'm a
Congre9ationalist."
sOh, indeed" returned the game
keeper, slightly puzzled. "Then |
suppose it's all right, sir. You can
walk ON. London Telegraph.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22

Max Nordau has come out now
with proclamation in which he
urges compulsory teaching Of
French in the public schools Of al.
countries. His contention is that
French must eventually become tAp
universal language, because it is the
cleyerest Of tongues and the most
phonetic. He says also that it is the
most adaptable of all the tongues
and is more universally read and
used outside of its own borders than
any other.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22

Behanzin, the ex-king of Daho-
mey, after ten wears exile III Mar
Unique has been allowed by the
French government to change his
residence to Biida, near Algiers. He
is accompanied by his four wives,
his son, his three daughters and
three servants: He is about sixty
years of age, with the blacklist of
faces and a short white beard. He
smokes forty strong cigars day.
At the hotel Bchanzin refuses to eat
of plates or drink from glasses
which have been served before. His
four wives treat him with barbaric
homage, kneeling before him, kiss
ing his hand and when he rides or
walks abroad holding an umbrella
over the royal woolly head.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
Had to Be Walked Up For Sentence.

Chief Justice Murray of British
New Guinea had an uncanny ex-
perience. He was about to sentence
native Papuan to death for muir
der when it was found that the Gull
prit had lost all interest in the pro-
ceedings and had fallen fast asleep.
In that sultry land of cannibals and
head hunters the Nervousness of
murder is not yet adequately appre-
ciated by the average native.-Pall
Mall Gazette.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
GII9IK ~ | gEIIIjsj!!s

TO andtrom Quebec olebrook North STRAIT
toTu' Lancaster, North Conway, Boston,
portland, and all points in the Sta3e
OF Maine and Maritime Provinces
In effect January Z, 1906,
TRAINS LEAVE North Str,tford ne ro,.
lows; For Colebrook and Beecher Falls at
io,lo a m, H. and 20 D. IN.
o: sor Sookshire, Dudweli Junction and Lime
70. quebec and all points on the Quebec
p. m. " a. an" "'''
ror Qnebec Junction. Portland and East
Siu points o.55 a. m. and 3.O7 -. M
3.o7lp. m. 80 q w. 'i'A
GEO II. EVANS,
vice President AMI Gen Manager.
u. f. B0oTHBY, G. +. 81 r. A.
PORTLAND, ME
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
H;EElIIIIIIEEsEssM
TIME TABLE
In effect Oct. Is, 1905.

Passenger service at Island Pond.
EAST BOUND LEAYt:
Mail aud passenger $50 a. m.
Mixed GAS a. IN. Express Ill =. IL
Night express Las a. IN.
ARRIVE FROM EAST:
Night express l2.45 a. m.
Mixed 2.30 p. M. Express $50 p. IN.
Mail and passenger $50 P. M.
WEST BOUND LEAVE:
Mail and passenger 7.iJ a. N.
Express 40 p. m. Night express a. m.
ARRIVE FROM wEsr:
Night FIX. 1870 a. IN, Express l.05 p. m.
Mail and passenger g.ij p. IN.
u Express trains run daily, other
traims daily except Sunday.
JOHN REEVE, AGENT, G. T. K.
ISLAND POND. Vt.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22

Fiber from the plantain tree is
coming into use in India for cloth
making. Yarn made from it is
found stronger than that from cot
ton or jute and has glazed appear
ance. A native technical institute
at Nagpore has taken up the sub
ject, and as the supply Of plantain
fiber is almost unlimited in Bengal
it is expected that a large industry
may be created for its production.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
The American eve inu Call.

They have the evening visit in
America, and the young man who
has done his days work knows that
the families of his acquaintance are
ready to receive him. But here the
evening call is impossible but to in
Inmates, and the casual visit of a
mere acquaintance at half past 8
would suggest some sudden message
of disaster. The woman who dimes
alone in her house knows that this
is the end of her day. No one will
come. 1t is not the fashion. Bat
would not the institution Of the
"cyoujng oal." make for meTiment,
wa.. .. those whose duties keep
.. .. Hu... .|..... ...I after.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
a.urR.s INSTANT COUGH CURE

Has cured more Coughs and Colds than
any remedy known. Il INSTANTLY RELIEVES
the most distressing cough and Is guar
,nteed to cure bronchitis and Asthma
Bauer's Cough Cure slwsys gives salts
faction as Mr.. ID. Greepman, Druggist oil
New Harmony Pa, says; "ioa'
remedies have given the very best salts
faction to all who have used them' ana
especially auer's Instant Cough Cure
look for larger sales ON them IN 'he
future. do not want to be out OF them
and will onler before my stock runs
down too low" Get q free sample aud
proye what it will do for you. For sale
by John w. Thurston, druggist.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
Deadly Serpent Bites

are as common in India as are stom-
ach and liver disorders. with us. For
the latter however there is a sure reme-
dy Electric Bitters; the great restora-
alive medicine, OF which S. A. Brown.
of BennetsviIle, 5. G., says: ''They re
stored my wife to perfect health. after
years OF suffering with dyspepsia and a
chronically torpid liver" Electric Bit
ters cure chills and fever, malaria, bill
ionsness, lame back, kidney troubles and
bladder disorders. Sold on guarantee
by John w. Thmston, druggist. Price
80 cents.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22

King Alfonso of Spain is devot-
ed to the pleasures OF the table and
keeps a cook on duty until 4 in the
morning, SO that he can have sup
per up to that hour. Five meals
are served daily in the Escurial pal
ace Here iss the kings eating
schedule for the day: Eight a. m,
breakfast, tea, coffee, chocolate,
milk, rolls and cold meat; II a. m,
luncheon with the ministers of state.
soup, two entrees, joint, vegetables,
sweets and fruit ;;&4:-P M, tea or
Spanish wine, cakes and sandwiches
Z P. m, dinner, two'~soups, two en-
trees, two joints, vegetables, ices,
sweets, fruits, Spanish wines, cham
payne; $3.50 p. m.,' tea, wines, cold
meat, cakes and dessert.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
cnris Rs,us.a the Bed Ribbon.

Nine. Care has explained an in
cident in the lie of her late has
band. lie had the distinction of
refusing the red ribbon of the Lee
gion of Honor. Ills reason was a
matter Of speculation. One insin-
nation was that the great chemist
had grievance that his wife was
not decorated with him. Another.
still less plausible, was that he did
not care to accept Il decoration
which had never been conferred
upon his father. Nine. Curie writes
quietly to observe that all this is
purely fantastic. NJ. Curie had Il
settled conviction that personal dec
orations were open to objections
that outweighed their advantages,
and. to her great JOY, as sharing his
opinion. he acted up to it in his
own case. He had declined academ-
ic distinction before declining the
Legion of Honor
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
bauer's Laxyne Quinine Tablets

The best remedy for Colds, Headache
and Grippe. Guaranteed to cure or
money refunded. Price 25 cents at John
W. Thurston's drug store.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
Reads by the LIGHT OF a Sauss oe.

Professor Hans Molisch of Prague,
according to the London Mail, has
been able to read Il newspaper by
the microbic glow emanatng from
ii sausage. All meat--beef rs often
as in 80 cases out Of 100 and veal in
so out of l00-contains the micrObe
which projects a greenish white
light. With sausages il is not SO
frequent, but is, when present, much
stronger. When the fat on the lu-
minous sausage was scrapea away 1t
Immediately ceased to give forth
light, but as soon as the surface
had again been covered by the fat
oozing from the interior the light
reappeared. Professor Molisch as
serts that the presence of these mi
crobes in meat is no sign of decay,
but rather the contrary, as in no
case have they been found in meat
unfit for human consumption.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
A Remarkable Watch.

There is in the possession of the
car very remarkable watch. 1t
was made by a Polish mechanic
named jules Curzon. The late ear
had heard some wonderful tales
about the inventive ability of this
man. and. wishing personally to test
his skill, he sent him parcel con-
tanning few copper nails, some
wood clippings, II piece of broken
glass, all old cracked china cup,
some wire and few cribbage board
pegs. Accompanying this was a
command To make them into time
piece. Within remarkably short
time the ear received them back in
the shape of watch. The case was
made of china and the works of the
other odds and ends. So pleased
and astonished was the ear that
he sent for the man, conferred sew
eral distinctions on him and granted
him a pension.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
0. H. HENDERSON,
TICKET AGENT
Boston and Maine Railway,
ST. JOHNSBURY. VT,

Iskets VIA the first class routes to points
ives, and south and via transatlantic lines
60 ana from European points Bapgop,,
checked through. Slerping car accommo,l.,>
ions secured in adv ance
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22

that :" asked Mrs. Brown.
YES, heard she had got appen-
dicitis," replied Mrs. Jones, but,
Lor', Judging by the way they brag-
ged about it, thought it was some
sort of piano player. What is it
anyway ?"-London Queen.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-22
LOCKING For LIGHT.

Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Brown were
bosom friends They passed Il good
deal of their time in discussing the
affairs of their neighbors. 1t was
astonishing what lot they knew
about other peoples business which
didn't concern them in the least.
They woe hammering away at the
latest scandal when the converse
ton turned in the direction Of a
Mrs. Tittlesay, Il new arrival in the
neNt street,
Il hear shes suffering from APP
pendiclJs, declared Mrs Brown
'Suttyn4 . e.uoeI Mrs. ...-
......r. ......f......
The Paducah sun., 1906-05-14
UNCONCIOUS
GEORGE JONES HAS BEEN LYING
FOR ONE WEEK.
Fell From Street Car and Struck
Back of His Head, Producing
Conclusion of Brain.

George w. Jones, OF Eighth and
Clark streets. Is lying at his home in
a precarious condition. the result OF
an accident that happened one week
ago today. He is unconscious and has
been since the accident
Jones was employed as ticket TAX
er at one Of the shows in the carnival
grounds. He started home Monday
night and at Ninth and Clark streets
attempted to step from the car. He
is said to have stepped of backward.
while the car was in motion.
His head struck the street and he
was picked up unconscious. He has
never regained his senses. His skull
is thought to be fractured and his
condition doubtless is due to concus-
sion. An operation may be necessary,
member of the family stated this
morning.
The Paducah sun., 1906-05-14
WRONG HOUSE
DRUNKEN STRANGER SOUGHT TO
ENTER.
Mr.. Wilkinson brought Into Play His
Trusty Revolver aud Fired RE-
peated Nolleys In Air.

W. L. Wilkinson. OF 32G North
Fourth street a member OF the Pal
mer Transfer company. shot at
stranger FIVE times Sunday morning
between 1 and o'clo-k 10 frighten
him away from his home. The
stranger was drunk and In an ugly
humor lie wanted 10 enter the.
house and Mr.. wilkinson was unable
by gentle persuasion to effect his
quiet departure. the pistol being
brought into use as last resort.
About l o'clock Mr.. wilkinson was
awakened by someone trying TO enter
his front door. lie left his bed and
asked what was wanted. The strang-
er replied that he wanted to come In
and. In fact. commanded the resident
to open the door. Mr.. Wilkinson
after some lille parley, resorted to
the pistol Three shots were fired
inside the house to frighten the
marauder. but he did not frighten
Mr.. Wilkinson then opened the door
showed the pistol under the strang-
er's nose, and commanded him TO
leave under threats OF violence.
The pistol play worked like
charm and to encourage the midnight
visitor. Mr.. wilkins fred twice again
into the air.
The strangers actions cannot be
accounted for unless he simply was
drunk and did not realize that he had
gotten into the wrong house.
The Paducah sun., 1906-05-14
The Old Soldiers Win.
Embers From the Camp Fire.

Wilgus' work was faultless yester-
day. He fielded his position admira-
bly,. Several sacrifices were averted,
the runners being forced out by the
quick work of the pitcher. He also
did a little stunt covering first when
Haas cut down a hit and retired the
runner.
Taylor and wetzel got two hits
each yesterday. and Wilgus got one.
The other Indians were unable to
safely connect with Whitley.
Bush is the worst umpire We have
seen here this season. Bush seems to
be partial, a quality not seen in De
vanney or veach.
Eddie Kolb has a fast fielding
bunch of players, but the Indians
show a superiority in stick work.
Gilligan seemed a little of yester-
day and McClain-well, Brownie"
must have been hoodooed.
Fans are asking the question of
"why was the squeeze play not made
yesterday?
Lloyd explains it briefly: 81 gave
Perry the signal to work the bunt
and effect the squeeze, but he mis-
understood me-"
This is one time the squeeze did
not work. Had Perry hunted lightly
it would probably have changed the
result.
The Paducah sun., 1906-05-14
LADIES RECEPTION
Will Not he a Feature Of Chess Clubs
Annual Function.

The Chess, Checker and Whist
club will hold its annual smoker on
Thursday, May "a, in the club rooms
at Sixth street and Broadway. This
year the afternoon reception will not
be given to the lady friends of the
members, as has been the custom for
several years. The directors OF the
club met Friday night and completed
arrangements for entertaining the
clubs friends at the smoker. The
club rooms are being put through a
spring cleaning process. new carpets
are being laid and additional furnit-
ure installed.
The Paducah sun., 1906-05-14

stole second base. Taylor singled and
while Wetzel was playing off the bae
Whitley threw, Mitchell covering 6
second, to cut him of. Mitchell muff-
ed the throw and the ball went out
to right field. Wetzel scoring. Taylor
tailed on Barbour's tumble of Mil
ler's grounder. Nippert's ground out
retired the side.
The Ninth Inning.
In the ninth inning the fun began
In this inning the Indians filled the
sacks with no one out. Whitley's po-
sition could be appreciated. and his
admirable work was a feature of the
game.
Haas drew a pass to first and Wet
gel hit to Mitchell. who fumbled
Taylor singled and filed the bases.
Perry came to the bat. The game
here came to a standstill. The grand
stand, a few minutes before a mass
of excited humanity. had quieted
down and Whitley's heavy, excited
breathing almost could be heard in
the grand stand. He pulled himself
together and struck an attitude of
desperation. The pitcher threw one
or two balls and Perry waited. Whit
ley's form was too sure. He was
throwing strikes and Perry gripped
his stick for action. He met one full
in the face. The ball grounded to
Whitley and the "rube" gripped it,,
held 1t few seconds to insure stead
mess, and let drive. Mattison caught
the ball and fielded quickly to Will
kinson, completing double play.
Stock went down on the Redskin bull
letin board after this.
Miller, whose three bagger averted
the modification of a shut out Sat
urday, came to the front. He met a
waist ball and sent 1t down the first
base line. "Pop" Wilkinson was
there ready for it, and the Indians
swallowed the Jumps in their throats
and the fans uttered a groan of an
guish, and left the grand stand.
The summary:
The Paducah sun., 1906-05-14
DANGER In DELAY
Kidney Diseases Are Too Dangerous
for Paducah People to Neglect.

The great danger of kidney trou-
bles is that they get firm hold be-
fore the sufferer recognizes them.
Health Is gradually undermined
Backache, headache, nervousness,
lameness, soreness, lumbago, urinary
troubles, dropsy, diabetes and
Bright's disease follow in merclless
succession. Don't neglect your kid
neys. Cure the kidneys with the GER
tain and safe remedy, Doan's Kidney
Pills. which has cured people right
here in Paducah.
Mrs. NJ. s. Smith, residing at 323
Jefferson street, says: 81 have COM
plained for number of years. 1t
dates back to 1884. I suffered with a
very distressing weakness of the kid
neys which annoyed me day and
night. There was often a dull pain
across my back over the kidneys. 1t
was these complaints which induced
me to get Doan's Kidney Pills. AZ
ter taking the treatment for a short
time | noticed great change In my
condition and .he Improvement con-
tinued steadily. feel better than !
have felt for long time. Doan's Kid
ney Pills are an excellent remedy,
and 1t is a pleasure for me to recon-
mend them"
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's-
and take no other.