Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-01-13
and on the night befofe their first appear
ance / began to prepare my wife for the


and on the night befo4e their first appear
blow.
Agnes I said to her. there's no use
IN trying TO conceal It from you longer;
you're awful. You'd never get by in
million years You're not meant I'm your
husband and your beau md your best
friend, and I've just got to tell you before
hand: you're awful. And the one and only
reason I'm telling you Is this: I don't want
EN- to break your little heart see? don't
want You to feel all cut to pieces If they
lower the boat on you. It's all right about
your sister She's been tossed around a
ios, and little thing like being cut out of
the Dill wouldn't bother her much. But
sSu-you must not take 1t sore1y IL they
chase you after your first appearance.
You've always got me- you know. You're
not going to lose out as long as I'm alive
~ De going on with our hlackface sketch
! made one of those eight-inch limitations
fhat meant that there'd be nothing to il.
Wen. she replied. kind o. chagrined.
INA, ~ she do the best she could. and that
II the boat should be lowered on her and
her sister why. she'd take her medicine
ana not cry Then patted heron the head
.oia her that she'd always have me to de-
pend upon-and the next afternoon she and
her sister went on for the sister sketch
Wen, there's no use in talking.
.nought those Baltimore people in that
s,aoaeviiie house that afternoon were plp.r:
lunatics. The sister sketch got no Tess
IMAM eight recalls. They wouldn't let 'em
on. they had to come back and do n ali
over again and then fake new business four
different times. 1 tried to chart r. ont
Ifey were a pair of pretty women ali
right, and their sketch toys were the limit
-put, an the same, L couldn't handicap *
where they got In.
Engagements Right and Left.
But, after they did manage TO get off.
the mouse manager told them that he want
ed them for two straight weeks again later
a cS.acn a,,S
My sister-in-lsw told the manager that a
hundred and half would be about right.
| considering the reception they'd got. and
| the manager said all right-a hundred and
a half it would be. They were booked for
the later TWO weeks at the figure A counIa
OF New York vaudeville managers Who
were ruboering al the show in front dug
then up that evening and offered then,
Two weeks apiece al their New York plants
ihey signed for those four weeks at a hum
dred and half -
L told my wife. in consra t1IIatiup her
that 1t was lucky for her that The world
had suddenly gone crazy, and she replied
that she thought so. too
MY Wife and her sister had to leave
baltimore the following Sunday after an
immensely successful week and swell 20
tlces in all the Baltimore papers 10 iii ana
or their New York bookings and sd mn,
TIIe we, WASH IN town TO see the triumph that
1 was gong 10 achieve in the conn stuff ar
the same theater where the maduen bad
actually accepted her stuff While r was
making up with my sketch partner for orr
M mrs. so-on a couple OF humble little chaps
IN the next dressing room, doing an Irish
TURN We're talking of their chances of bav
ing the boat lowered on them. 1t was their
lirst try-out in a good house and they were
AFRAID OF 1t. One of them dropped into orr
| dressing room to express his fears
! , were punk, he said to me- and its
.he scoW for ours. sure. No chance for us
10 .,.s SUNK by in such good house as this
II comforted the humble little man. Told
| MIN 10 smoke up and be cheerful
| Even IL you do get the boat, I said to
MIN why, the worlds big. The suns still
/ assuming, and spring time'fl come again.
| Get happy e'
Oh 1 was real expansive. so I was. for
! IL distressed me to see fellow man suffer
! ing from distressing authorizations
| They went on with their Irish thing
| ahead of us, and when they got through
the stage manager came to their room
-, You fellers are all right he said to
| them. to my intense delight, for it would
| have made me feel gloomy had thu boat
been lowered upon those decent little
| chaps. Well rig UP a e-again for you
| two
Then we went on with our coon thing
had all doped out a telegraph message that
l was going to send to my wife. informing
| her that we'd been booked ten weeks ahead
at TWO hundred per head.
The Boat Was Lowered.
when we got through-tie audience had
| been idiotically apathetic, and hadn't given
| US finger, much less a hand-and were
washing up in the dressing room, the stage
| managers shape darsened the doorway
| " Sorry, fellers.' he said to u.s. looking at
| me particularly. but you're rotten Worst
ever. The old mans tearing his hair and
| eating the upholstery off the lounge in his
office because 1 let you get by even once
| Says you are the worst he ever saw. and
| he's an old Tommer and doubler in brass
| himself. SO you're chased
That's all. I never told my wife any
! thing about 1t. I wrote her that I'd had
scrap with the orchestra leader and had
| quit working at that Baltimore theater 1t
| wasn't until some years later, when we
| were getting In right together In straight
| sketches, that 1 found that she knew all
about 1t. and had known all about 1t from
| the beginning. some knocker having put
| her wise.
"One day. however. I was breaking
| two-inch cable hawser with my chest ex-
pansion when she murmured that one
| word, Baltimore. at me, and had only to
| take one look at her to see that she had 1t
! on me, and had it good. I've been prop
| erly deferential when that words been
| tossed at me by her ever since" c. L. C.
The Kaiser as q BoQie Man