Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1906-08-30
Three Old Maids
and a Widow
By c. B. LEWIS
Copyright, 1906, by NJ. NJ. Cunningham


6~~>~>~.,o~O~~~~~o~~~~o
There are few towns of 1000 popu-
latm that can boast Of three old maids
and a widow living on the same street,
but that was the case with Clifton.
Miss Eiutou was an old maid because
she never had met with a man good
enough for her. Miss Hopkins was an
old maid because the young man she
would have married at eighteen was
sawed IN two IN a sawmill ana she had
vowed to be true to his memory. Miss
Warner was an old maid because she
was determined to marry none but
minister, and all the ministers who
came We're already provided for. The
Widow Carter was a widow because
part Of a house had fallen on her hus-
band.
The old maids and the widow were
on visiting terms-in in fact they rather
liked each other. Where there are no
male candidates for mauimony con-
ccrned old maids ana widows can sit
down together on the same veranda
without qUarreling After the widow
had sOlomuly assured the old maids
that nothing on the face of this earth
could induce her to be false to the
memory Of her crushed, the quartet
loved each other even more
One day one of the merchants in the
town sold out and Il stranger came to
take his place. If he had been n mar
ricd man the dove Of peace would have
continued to hover over Rose street,
but as he was single, only thirty and
a "catch" the dove saw n hot time
ahead
The widow let no grass grow under
her feet in calling at the store and in
cidentally mentioning her name and or
dering four pounds Of sugar all at
once. She was one of the Four Hun
dred of the town, and on the part of
the other 390 she bade Mr.. Strong vel
come 10 their midst When he had
thanked her she ordered two nutmegs
and a paper Of starch, in addition to
the sugar. to let him understand that
she wasn't obliged TO pinch pennies,
and then departed.
An hour later her reprehensible con-
duet was known to the three old maids,
and up went three pairs of hands; six
eyes were turned upward in horror and
three mouths opened TO eXclaim in cho-
rus How shocking"
Then during the next two days, each
Of The old maids made an excuse to
call at the store and follow the pro-
gramme carried out by the widow.
Each thought she was sly and slick,
but they found each other out, and
from that moment the bond Of friend
ship snapped asunder like an old
clothcSlinc left ont in the storms Of
year.
When women make war on each 9th
er they don't use fence rails to pound
each other ON the head. In most cases
they 20 right on treating each other as
nicely as thoy can to their faces. but
using da%EC.s and the darkness to as
sassinatr The three old maids and the
widow gathered together as of yOre,
but the dagger was used whenever
there was the least show.
Nr Strong proved Il social success
The widow gave little dinner and
brought him ont. but the old maids
really mouoppiZcd him for the even
ing Then Miss Warner gave an exhi-
h.tI1u of her own paintings. which con
sisted Of n cow apparently thirty-sIX
feet long and Of a river running up
stream instead of down, and the wild
ow held Mr. StrOug's attention for an
hour while she talked about her crush
ed and departed
At the end Of six weeks the man who
ran the sawmiIl and had n mortgage
on the mill dam figured it out to his
WIFI.
There are three old maids to one
widow. but il the widow gets left she'll
be the first one l ever heard Of"
Iyru the small boys around town no
ticnd how girly the old maids were be-
coming They gigglcd they uttered
cute utrI" screams when they turned a
corner aud found themselves face to
face with 81 COW. they Uttered when
they asked for gum drops ut the gro
cory. As for the widow. she set her
three times q week to ask the mer-
chaHt if he thought the Seyenty-sev-
cnth National bank Of Boston was per-
forGy sound and 10 sigh with relief
when h, assured her OF his confidence
IN rra institution. Sly reports wera
soon atoat tIat Mr.. Strong was paying
his attentions 10 this or that one Of the
four. Then the other three would reply
as ono.
We'll, may be he is, but what on
earth he can see in her is more than
can make out. She grows more home
ly and dowditicd every day. OF course
I'm telling you this in confidence, and,
Of course, it won't 20 further"
One fatal evening tragedy after trag-
edy happened, and the light went out
Of several happy households. Mr.,
Strong boarded with family living
half a mile from the store He wanted
the walk. He had to cross the bridge
over the river anl ascend hi!l CO..