Connecticut western news., 1906-12-27
UNCLE EZRA PERKINS.
TALKS ABOUT CHRISTMAS GIFTS
He Morahzes on the Question of Giving What One Don't Want to and Getting What One Don't Need. .1
Pompoonick, Conn,


 Mr, Editur Well. anuther Cris= mus hez ben made histry of, (that kinder sounds az ii histry and saw sage wuz made the same way, but that aint how ment it) and hull lot of fokes what coodent afford to, hez giv to a lot ov fokes what don't need things and lot of fokes hez give to them az don't want no presents becuz they hey got house full now of everything you kin think ov most, but sevrul years ago they -.got em on there list az Bub sez, and they don't dare rub off the names fer feer sumboddy will git offended I beleev I Tit you sumtime ago, long bout Thanksgiving time, what my sentiments is bout givin Crismus presents sorter under protest, az Squire Haskins sez, and them senti- ments iz the same now az they wuz then. And they hain't goin' to change. If 1t could be "cut out, as Bub sex, and let us give presents where we want to, how much better 1t would be. But, Mir Editur, I'll ad- init 'thougt bubble that though I've got plenty O backbone bout sum things, I don't dare start no sech custom ez I'd like to in this respect
 Now take 1t fer instance this year, I got from the fokes what Mirandy and me and Bub hez exchanged pres ents with fer long time, bottle of tfumery, book on The Hart ot Rome" a deck of cards, comb with silver on top, chip meersham pipe, a pair of red sox, and lot of other stuff long the same line
 Now less paws and konsider, ez the feller sez So fur ez the perfum- cry iz conserned, I needn't to worry bout how that's goin' to be used up so long ez Mirandy iz eround, but what in Sam Hill do they think 1 care about the Hart of Rome? I'd never reed the fust chapter threw If they jest felt they had to send book, why didn't they express (prepade) one O them books that Eve Tit her diary in and what them good fokes out Tn Massachusetts sez we mussent reed becuz Eve fergot to put. on her polenay before she sot fer her pikter- I'd tare out the pikters as quick ez possible but of koarse I'd have to look at 'em while tearin' so as to git the rite ones. Then that deck of cards. What be goin' to do with 'em and me pillow of the meetin' house? A comb embroidered on top with silver when by actual kount Mirandy sez they hain't two duzzen hares left on top of my he'd. Cess I hain't goin' to run no risk O them gettin' tangled up with comb teeth and gettin' pulled out by the roots. You no they say the hares ov fel- ler's he'd iz numbered and so they be when careful sensus shows only 24- What I'd like to no IS where to git back numbers. And then Mere sham pipe that will brake the lust time it's dropped. Neverll use it. Old corn cob's good enough for me. And red sox. Gosh all hemlocks. Do they think I've termed dude? woodn't ware 'em no more'n I'd pet a rattlesnake, no siree.
 Mebbe fokes sed the same things about what me ana Mirandy and Bub give 'em and that's why 1 say 'twould be a hull lot better to shut down on givin' presents what you no well enuff when you send 'em that they hain't goin' to be cared nothin about That is the sort of givin' that knocks the tar out of the sort of Crismus speerit we ought to hev-
 Yours respectively,
 UNCLE EZRA.
 Treas sIrer for 4I Years