The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-17
BowsER GOES FORTH.
He Boards the Woodchuck and Hunts
the Rabbit.

Mr.. Bowser had given no hint in
word or action of his Intentions, but at
brea kfast the other morning he said to
Mrs. BoWser;
Il see that you take no interest
whatever in natural history, and am
disappointed in you"
What interest do you expect me to
take % she replied.
.'Oh, none at all. Keep right on
sloshing around and never give a
thought as to why gTasshopper's hind
! legs are longer than his front ones
Il suppose he was built that way to
make a jumper Of him"
You suppose, but you don't know.
Why should the grasshopper jump any
more than the beetle? Why should
rabbit jump any more than a fox
Why should nature have made a bear
to climb and denied the same privi-
Iege to WOLFF How is It that a cat
can see in the darkness and a COW
can't? Why should the OK below and
the horse neigh p
Why should water beetles be rum
ming around our kitchen instead of
canary birds 20 asked Mrs. Bowser. af-
ter a minute.
Nv oman, don't make a. fool Of the
thing! When q person is ignorant it is
much better that she owned up and got
posted. All your life you have seen
rats and mice, and yet it never Oc-
CURED to you to ask why rats are the
| largest. You find water beetles in the
kitchen and COckrOacheS in the clothes
closets. Why2 What part do they
play in natures game? If you could
keep your nose off a. bargain counter
for fifteen minutes you might learn
something of animal and insect life.
It's all hddle-faddle with a woman, and
when she gets through life she knows
no more than when she begins"
''Will you kindly tell me where all
this talk is intended to lead to ?"
-~s-- s-r-
ing at the Office just now, and I pro-
pose to take a day off and go out into
the country to study nature a bit"
As applied to the animal kingdom
in the aging winter2"
Just SO, madam. I had an argu-
ment with Green the other day about
woodchuclzs and rabbits. I know I was
right, but the obstinate jackass
wouldn't give up. The woodchuck, as
contend and positively know. crosses
his legs when he walks. and a rabbit
can run faster in a circle than straight
ahead. shall take a little run out
among the farmers and bring back the
evidence to crush Green forever.
shall take my gun along and knock
over a few quails and cartridges While
am about it."
Mrs Bowser knew that some calam-
fty would happerls anEl that she would
realized that he had made up his mind
and that It was useless TO argue with
him After breakfast he got into an
old suit of clothes, brought down his
shotgun and started off in the interests
of natural history. Mr.. BOWser felt
like a boy out on a holiday and as
the suburban car sped with him coun-
Upwards he would have been very gra-
cious to the farmer sitting on his right
had his advances been met in friendly
spirit. But they were not. He had
only inquired if woodchucks and rab-
bits were plenty in the country when
the farmer looked him over with criti-
cal eye and slowly replied:
femme tell you something. If YOU
are one Of those fellers they call a
nimrod. YOU don't want to come fooling
around my place. I've had a calf and
a pig shot within the last month. and
the next trespasser viii get it in the
neck"
Don't you suppose 7 know a wood
chuck from a calf2" demanded the
hunter as he began to bristle up.
You don't look it,"
That's because can't tell whether
you are a man or a jackassi"
That ended the conversation. except
that the farmer went out on the back
platform and told the conductor in con-
! fdence that he'd give spring lamb 70
punch the head of the old coon inside
who claimed to be a sportsman but
was probably looking for a chance to
steal eggs. When he LEFT the car Mr.
| BoWser struck across the fields to-
ward a distant farmhouse mere were
| patches of snow on the ground. and
he stopped here and there to look for
tracks He had come within twenty
rods of the house when three men
emerged from a barn and one of them
signalled for him to halt where he was
It was a father and his two sons. and
as they came up the old man asked:
Now. then, what are you doing on
my land %
~ came out into the country today
TN 5nfa~pztC nf fTTra1 hiefnrvr -
was the reply.
and what in thunder is that?"
why, man. don't you know what
natural history fs2 You have It all
around you every day Of your life. For
instance there's d crow hying=7
Don't let him soft soap you, Dadi"
said one Of the sons.
It'll bet my boots he's been with a
circusi" added the other