davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Build a New Conduit

The water supply of the District Of Co
iumbia is dependent upon a conduit more
than ten miles long, constructed half a
century ago. and already tested 10 the
limit Of its capacity. If the conduit should
cease, for any reason, 10 carry the water
which now flows through it. the situa-
ton in Washington would be serious be-
yond Imagination.
Gen. Mackenzie Chief Of Engineers. is.
therefore. fully justified in urging the
construction of duplicate conduit at the
earliest moment The suggestion is not
new one. For several years the Dis
trict Commissioners have incorporated
into their annual estimates provision for
a survey for a new conduit. and have
emphasized upon Congress the necessity
for the appropriation Each year they
have hoped to see the item retained. but
each year has seen Congress Indifferent
and negleCtful. If the appropriation had
been granted when it was first request
ed, the survey would long since have been
completed, and construction Of the con-
duit undertaken. Instead of this prac-
tical result. however, the District is stll
dependent upon the old conduit, the con-
dition of which ought to stir Congress
10 prompt action
According 10 Gen Mackenzie. there are
no less than seven tunnels along the con-
dUit. all unIined and running through
seamy rock. Frequent rock slides occur.
each one threatening to form an effectuaI
barrier 10 the water Many OF the cu!-
verts are laid in made ground. and their
strength is always an uncertain guam
uty. If. at any time, an accident should
occur there would be a water famine
Of indefinite duration. 1t is not neces-
sary to emphasize the damage and priva-
ton which would ensue. Their cost can
not be estimated in dollars and cents.
The amount required to construct a new
conduit would be a mere bagateIIe in com
parison.
The new water way should not parallel
the present one. but, as Gen Mackenzie
says, should follow a radically different
course. to reduce TO a minimum the
chance of single cause disabling both
Its construction should be commenced at
the earliest possible moment. Even
should the existing conduit remain intact
and we fervently pray that this may
be the case-the new structure will be
soon needed to meet the requirements Of
the increasing population
At any rate. Washington ought not to
be at the mercy Of a single conduit which
Is declared by the highest engineer au-
thority in the army 10 be old. decrepit
and unsafe
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
PEOPLE OF NOTE.
Tom Reeds Estate.

This is to record the deed OF an honest
man. His name is Augustus @. Paine.
and Thomas Bracket Reed made him ad-
ministrator OF hts estate When Mr. Reed
died in 1902 the approximate value Of his
estate was S2o0,000, Last week Mr.. Paine
made an accounting to the widow and
showed her that she was worth $500, ,0O0,
which represents the original investment
holdings OF the estate and the profits from
these and other investments made by Mr..
Paine. The greater part Of the estate left
by the former Gar of the House was in
railroad securities. and Mr.. Paine, as ex-
ecutor. had entire charge of turning these
into cash. When asked about the Reed
estate Mr.. Paine confirmed the report of
its size, and added: 1T is true that Mrs.
Reed is now in very comfortable circum-
stances. Whatever 1 have done for the
the estate have done gladly Mr.. Reed
was one Of my greatest friends" Mr..
Paine is not known I'm Washington, where
friends Of the late Speaker abound by the
hundred, but If he should come here there
Is no doubt at all that he would be vel
coined BY them IS an honest man. Mrs.
Reed is now living in the old family home
at Portland. Me Her only daughter not
long ago married a captain in the army
1t was thought for a long time that she
would marry prominent Western mem
Der Of Congress, who was an idolator OF
her father.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Buying a Seat in Congress.

Refusing 10 state the exact amount of
money be employed in comprising the
defeat Of his Democratic opponent and
electing himself to Congress from the
First or Eastern Shore district Of Mary
land. the Hon. w. II. Jackson frankly
avows that money was used for his cleo
ton, and that if it had not been he would
have been defeated.
If" declares Mr.. Jackson in a news
paper interview, every man who came
out to vote merely for what there was
in it for him should stay at home, every
county on the Eastern Shore would be
solidly Republican. That IS not guess
work. I know it." Mr.. jackson has
been in politics Ia that part of Maryland
many years, first as a Democrat and
then as a Republican, and the presump-
tion is that he knows" When asked if
he would be willing 10 come out openly
and declare himself against bribery and
vote-buying In al its forms, his reply
was this. Yes, sir; I am. As I said be-
fore, 1 do not believe in buying votes,
whether it be with money or whisky-a
means our Democratic friends are fond
terial. But I am not making promises"
Mr. Jackson is not making promises.
He does not have TO make political
promises, evidently. According to his own
amazing admissions, he does not win his
fights on promises. Other statesmen do,
and frequently they are embarrassed ter
ribly by being unable 70 make good their
promises Pay as you so. Owe no man
anything when the election is over. Be
your own boss. Look the whole world
IN the face and say. "I owe not any
man" That must be glorious feeling
70 be experienced by a statesman
Maryland statesman. The Hon. W. II.
Jackson is to be congratulated upon en-
joying it at this moment
You people do not know anything
about conditions on the Eastern Shore, ''
Mr.. Jackson assured his interviewer. As
things are now. the spending of money is
absolutely necessary TO a candidate who
Is going 70 make any kind of "a run II
they don't get some inducement. the
voters Will stay away from the polls alto
gether." It is possible, then. in the Jack
sonian view Of things. for an election to
ne held on the Eastern Shore without q
suffragan entering the polling booth.
That would be too bad. Another cleo
ton might have TO be ordered and this
would impose additional cost upon the
taxpayers Of Maryland Therefore. the
Jackson method.
Nir. jackson is statesman whose
career in Congress we shall watch with
interest. He has no fear Of a contest
for. he says: You can depend upon one
thing in al this business. and that is that
no man is going to be found who Will say
that he sold his vote, and no man viii
be produced who viii say he bought a
single vote for me. Don't think I am
going to lose any sleep on that account
Ism [ the Hon W II. Jackson. of the
First district Of Maryland refreshing
thlnSE He is more-he is edifying. elat
ing positively fascinating. And his dis
trict, Think Of that What q loss ft
would be if it were not represented in
Congress at ALI
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
wages so ID: So po Food prtees.

Gratifying as the news is that numerous
large business corporations, loosely called
trusts in these clamorous times of contro-
Versy. have voluntarily raised the wages
Of their great armies Of employees. there is
question in some quarters Of the motive
that has impelled them to this course just
at the moment It follows so quickly a
popular movement against them in New
York. which failed of its full fruition in
the election, that il not unnaturaIiy adds
strength to the conviction In some minds
that there is a sort of working agreement
between these huge aggregations Of cap
ital, even though they are engaged in diff
ferent lines OF industrial and productive
activity.
Almost spontaneously with the an
nOuncement Of a general increase of the
wage scale comes a detailed statement
from one Of the trustworthy commercial
agencies that within the past week there
has been a rise in the price OF nearly every
article Of food and every other cOmmodi-
y that enters the daily purchases Of wage
earners. Thus It would seem that the in
crease of wage is to be Offset by the IN
creased cost Of living, so that no substan-
tial benefit is TO result to consumers and
wage earners.
How ii happens that the cost of living
can be given such a sudden upward lift IN
this country We confess our inability 10
comprehend. Crop reports show that the
harvests this year were unusually abun-
dant- The railroads have been taxed be
yond their capacity TO handle the annual
movement Of surplus farm products to the
centers Of distribution Bank failures
have been remarkably few. The interest
rate Is normal The national stock Of
labor has been kept constantly employed.
There have been no failures of crops in
other quarters OF the world that are draw
ing on us for unusual quantities Of food
stuffs and other agricultural products
In the face Of this situation. the cost Of
living suddenly has gone up. What is the
meaning of it? Has the law Of competi-
ton. like all things earthly sooner or later
do, lost its utility. its potency. its sway?
II seems that we have yet hardly got as
far as A. 3, c in this trust question. ac-
cepting the popular definition Of a trust
as any and every large aggregation Of
capital The sources of distribution. at
least. appear TO be too easily controlled.
Possibly. il the refoTmer should touch
that point Of the system with his magic
wand he would get results.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
THE INNOCENT BYSTANDER.
IN MEWORTAN

~ hAhuhAAMs
Here he lies. asleep at last,
All his stress and toiling past
Why should we set down his name?
He was quite unknown 20 fame;
Laurels never touched his brow,
Ne'er TO cheers had he TO bow;
Now he's found the pathway dim
NJ one ever heard OF him.
Failure7 Well, II al depends.
He was loyal 70 his friends
Rich or poor. II made no odds
Had their hand clasps and their noes:
Never 70 his friends grew cold
In tireless fight for gold,
Never plotted; gnarled and grim
No one ever heard Of him.
He was one the world forgets;
He met all his little debts,
He was honest. told no lies.
When 70 tell them might seem wise:
He thought more OF friends. you see,
Than Of al success might be:
Drifted, when he couldn't swim
No one ever heard Of him.
Yet we envy him the calm
Smiling sleep that brought a balm
To his wOrn-out heart that had
Worked and worked. just being glad.
In the lines upon his face
Guilt has never left a trace.
So he sleeps, stilI, white and slim
No cne ever heard OF him
He, they knew him over there,
Knew him: knew his toll. and care.
nd No know Hfe Far fe t,.1
Up and down the streets OF gold.
Then. beiated. pledge him now,
Here above his waXen brow.
Fill the goblet 10 the brin-
To this good man. Drink to him.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Indian Fighters and Footban PLAYERS

The Ute uprising brought to light
one very curious circumstance that may
well give pause and put us all to think
ing.
A certain Mr.. Callahan states that as
he and party Of ranchmen were riding
out rather early a few weeks ago they ae-
eidentally ran into a psrty Of Utes. in
fun war paint and evidently on hostil-
ties bent 4 scrimmage seemed imminent.
when suddenly, much to his surprise. Mr.
Callahan heard some one yelling to him
from the ranks of the UTtes using these
words: Hi, there, Mickey Callahan
Where you gom? I'm Billy Birds Eve"
Mr. Callahan promptly recognized an Old
Dartmouth College mate and crack football
player Immediately hostilities ceased.
and the youns Ute, who proved to be the
leader Of the band, and a son OF Chief
kannapaf. promised to remain neutral
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14

during the trouble, and TO seek to per
suade his people to make peace with The
pale face government.
Just before they separated. the In
dian handed his old friend Callahan a
couple Of tickets 10 the Dartmouth-Prince-
ton games of football, and remarked: go
and see that game, Mickey, and root
few roots for me. wanted TO see the
game myself, but this derned outbreak
came. and now I cannot get away" As
for Mr. Callahan, he says: you ought
to have seen him break the line when he
was in the game He is a fighter all over,
and IL he runs into any Of those West
Pointers he viii give them a scrap for
their lives; he's met them before, and
knows them"
Now what are we to do when the coun-
try is getting into such shape as that?
Here's a crack football player, one OF
the OLD colleges proudest assets, and
square" man and good fellow" at that,
leading these Utes, and cur soldiers are
expected TO get fierce and kill them right
and left if they won't be good! How is
a soldier going TO fight when, just as lie
gets res dy to shoot, some old chum from
the other side yells at him. "Rickety.
rack, coack, rah rah, sIss, boom, a-h-h-h.
rah"'. or something of that kind? That
may sound Ike a war whoop to some of
the rank and file, but il will be as the COO
Of turtle dove Of peace and good-fellow-
ship TO many who remember those old
Thanksgiving Day games. and all Of that.
Get any fight out Of a soldier then? We
guess not!
It really seems that the government now
has something new and unlocked for
in the way Of Indian warfare complica-
tons. A college youth, in full war paint.
with football record behind him that
has made him an idol of his fellows dur
ing the gridiron days. is 10 be reckoned
with The Indian is coming into his own.
He is ready to right his wrongs.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
A DREAM OF Fan WOMEN.

l know girl who's perfect quite; no
other maid may equal her.
She is a dream of rare delight, as any
poet Will aver
Oh, Venus was a dame Of class, and Cleo
patra not so bad!
But where Is she who can surpass the
lady In the corset ad?
Historic archives mention make of many
rare and beauteous danes;
AND manly hearts to this day ache when
one recalls the list OF names.
His ignorance IS very Grass who cannot
name a score. egadi
But which Of them can eer surpass the
lady in the corset ad?
Oh, Phryne in her beauty bare was quite
a sumner. / will own:
Whilst Dido was a damsel fair. and Helen
might have charmed q stone.
Diana was winsome lass. To praise them
all I'm truly glad
But which Of them could e'er surpass the
lady in the corset ad?
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
LITTLE HENRY's MEMORANDA.

Unkel Bill sez bein tactfuI is way 70
hurt peoples feelins without givin them a
chance 10 get back at you.
Uukel Bill sez as soon as Opportunity
knoks on a pollytichuns door the Reform
ers begin TO cline in az the windows.
Us boys UsetO tees Alfred Hunter about
belH red hedded till we found out that his
mother cuts his hare into the bargain
y enthusiast is man that freezes his
nose an tOse ridin in his ottomobeI when
it is too cold TO see anything wurth while.
Pa talks a good dele aboat the fites he
had when he was boy. an how he always
whipped the other fellow But he threat
to whip me if / hav any fites.
Mister Henderson has been tellin' ever
since election why his tikket was beet.
Before election he was tellin' why Il
would win. Pa sez Mister Henderson is
one of these people who hafto explane
things all thare lives.
WILBUR NEsBIT
Copyright 1906. hy " D. Nesbitl
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Roosevelt aud His Book.

From the Boston Herald
President Roosevelt often tells with
relish this story on himself He visited a
booksellers shop in Idaho just after ne
had written his The Winning Of the
West" tie picked up a copy OF his boOl,
from the counter and said to the book
seller. with feigned curiosity:
Who is the authOT-RGOseveIt
oh" was the answer. hes d ranch
driver up IN the cattle country
What do you think Of his book"
We'll" said the dealer. i've always
thought I'd like to meet that author and
tell him II he'd stuck 10 running ranches
and not tried TO write books he'd have
cut heap bigger figure at his trade and
been 3 bigger man.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Earl May BE Heard From

Now that fresh vigor soon is to be nut
into the Investigations and prosecutions
by the Department of Justice. under the
Presidents directions, Of numerous of tne
big trusts, and especially the Standard
Oil Company. it is expected that Charles
f. Earl, modest to the point of shrinking
and studiOus as a monk, will be dragged
into the garish light Of publicity Mr.
Earl belongs to that class of silent. hard
working young men in the public service
VINO have patterned their conduct after
the model set by the Hon. George Bruce
CortelyOu. whose motto has always been
say nothing, but saw wood" The Hoa
Benjamin F Barnes, postmaster Of
Washington, is the most conspicuous. tvne
OF them. Mr.. Earl, a Marylander. and
DeiieVed to be a Democrat. was put in the
Bureau Of Corporations of the Depart
ment Of Commerce and Labor when Mr.
Cortelyou was Secretary Of that Depart
ment. and for four years he studied deeplv
the trust question. He was one of Com
missioner Garteld's right-hand men IN
the Investigation OF the Standard oil
Company ordered by Congress. and nre-
pared nearly all the legal opinions called
for by his chief during the progress of
that work A few months ago he souebt
and obtained transfer to the Department
OF Justice. He has silently followed
the trails of more trusts than probably
has been done by any other person in tho
government service, and now that he is
with tho Department Of Justice. he doubt
less will appear in court among counsel
Tor the government as new prosecutions
are started
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
The Flight of Time.

From the Philadelphia Ledger.
TWO dariies swapped mules. One OF
them was an old hand at the business.
and in making the trade he represented
his mule TO be seven years old.
This was I'm February. A few months
later the other darky began to realize he
had been swindled, and that the beast was
fully twelve years old So he went back
TO tell the swindler he had lied 10 him
about the animals age
You say" said the other fellow. dat
when you got de mule in February. he
was seven years old. and now it's June
and he's twelve years old2'
Yes. / do. was the angry response.
well, sab. time sure do fly"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Two Letters.

From the Troy Times.
wine agent is compiling a volume OF
anecdotes of wine dealers of the world
He said the other day: "Roederer once re-
ceived a letter that read. Sir have not
a cendme TO my name. but I adore cham
pagne. Be good enough to send me a case
Of your delicious nectar. With Its help
hope To forget my wTetched poverty
Roederer replied by return mail: Sir:
The means wherewith you propose TO for
get your poverty viii not avail The in
cessant and persistent presentation Of my
account will remind you every moment of
your sad condition "
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Warning in the Elections.

From the Norfolk Yirguian- Pilot.
II the men who are the brains and
backbone Of the great corporations Of
the country should COnsrue the election OF
Hughes and defeat Of Hearst as in any
way extending their license for extortion
and malpractice toward the public. they
will sadly misread the lessons OF the
hour. The provOcations which constituted
Mr.. Hearsts capital in political enter
prise will, if persisted in, lead TO a state
CT popular sentiment which Will stop at
nothing 10 insure an end to them
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Hartman In Favor Here's ?

From the Hartford Times.
The impression which most Of the
Washington observers have obtained is
that Mr. Harriman's corporations are not
in any fear of hostile legal proceedings at
Washington. Thus far the anti-cOrpOra-
tion propaganda in that quarter has found
very little TO object 10 in the conduct Of
any corporation with which Z. II. Harri-
man is identified.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Honesty In Hearst FoIIowIng.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
Though Hearst has proved in many
ways that he himself is not sincere. and
though he has nothing TO propose but an
indiscriminate and destructive campaign
against wealth. there is honesty in his
following Hundreds Of thousands VINO
supported him are in sympathy with hun
dreds Of thousands who voted for Hughes
and the bond of sympathy is the convic-
tiOn that the great corporations, the So
called trusts and the public service cor
poratiOns. must be deprived OF the power
that they exercise in a way that is in
imiCal TO the people.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Something nnInr-If

From the Houston Post
There Will be no abatement Of the vo-
racity of the privileged classes. Not a
concession viii they make to the demands
Of the people. If the Democrats will stop
contending over the personal ambitions
of men and get together upon a plain
and unequivocal platform prociaiming the
principals which all Democrats hold In
common, there will be something doing
some OF these DAYS.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
President,s Grent Innuence.

From the Baltimore sun.
The place which will be awarded to
President Roosevelt by the historian is a
matter on which it is neither appropriate
nor timely to speculate now. It Is sufi-
cient that the Presidents contemporaries
recognize that he has frmer hold upon
the people of the United States and is able
u shape public opinion to greater de-
gree than any ether American in official
or private station
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Burbank Missed a Chance.

From the New York Globe
Mr Burbank's half-swcet and half-sour apple
doesn't interest young America especially.--Wash
ington Herald.
II Mr.. Burbank had turned his attention
to lemon cultivation he might have made
q fortune in New York during the recent
campaign
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
whnt Henrst Has Done.

From the Atlanta Constitution.
The next thing TO the defeat of po-
Htical antagonist is to force him to come
to your viewpoint; to see things as you
see them. This is what Mr.. Hearst has
done I'm New York, and for this splendid
triumph he deserves the credit. as the
thanks, of state and nation.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Questions for Mr. Bran.

From the Norfolk virgininn-Piot
Now that Hearst's political note has
gone to protest how stands the indorser
Of it, Mr.. Bryan? Did he bring any as
sets out Of Nebraska to help pay the
losses In New York? Is the outcome of
his canvass this year a fair sample OF
what he can contribute TO success in 1852
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
The Penknife Graft.

From the Hartford Times.
ResoIute resistance TO The penknife
graft at the outset by the incoming gen
eral assembly will be salutary Next
January Will be an excellent time for the
legislature summarily to end the gratuity
habit
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
How to Revive the Democrncv.

The Hon. George Fred Williams, in COM
pany with a few other undaunted souls, is
planning "a Democratic revival" About
the best Democratic revival we can think
Of would be the nomination of some can
didate that Democrats could and would
vote for
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
The Office HnIder

All declare he is a goner;
He Is old and worn and bent.
But he's quite a hanger Oner
And he never seems to went.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
AR,in the shnherts

What's that piece you're rehearslng?''
inquired the manager of the theater
That replied the leader OF the orches-
ira, "is Schuberts Serenade."
Cut IL out Don't you know that we be-
long 10 the Klaw-E -Erlanger crowd?"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Missing Voters.

From the st. Louis Republic.
It is now up to the Republican State
Committee to account for the 50.000 Mis-
souri, Republican voters who did not vote
In 1904 and who do not show up in the re-
turns OF 1906.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
Cnr PInfforn, smoI.cr.

From the New York Herald
4 statistic fend announces that New York smokes
Just exactly Ll9OOo cigars a day-Washington
Herald.
Women in this city who ride on street
cars would like to know why 100000 Of
those 100000 cigars seem TO be con-
sumed daily on rear platforms which bear
the sign. NO smoking"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14

The Atlanta Georgian thinks President
Harvey Jordon, of the Southern Cotton
Association, has "a noble opportunity
TO resign. It's pretty hard to convince
most people Of the nobility Of resigning
things, though il any one can do IT, Mr..
John Temple Graves is probably the
man for the job
The Washington herald., 1906-11-14
UnsimpIined Spelling.

From the Louisville Courier Journal.
Sarcasm. sarcasum, sarkasOm, sar-
chasm, sarehasim, sarkasim. sarkasam,
sarchasum, sarkasum? Which is phonetic
when You come to reflect upon Il?