The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1906-06-07
BY THE WAY

When Heinze sold his copper mine,
taking In part payment q senatorship
from Montana, neither the buyer or
seller thought it necessary to consult
the people of the state before closing
the deal.
The Hon. Ben TiIlman is wasting
on an unresponsive senate lot OF
material that might bring good prices
II he would send it to the magazines.
The Missouri man, who swapped a
41-year old wife and five children for
a 2l-year old wife and one child,
ought to have been compelled by the
laws of compensation, to give jack
knife and plug of tobacco to boot.
Chicago began to clean house yes
terday, and the rest Of the world may
expect a famine In scrubbing brushes.
1t appears that the Japanese want to
grow broader as well as taller. They
are reported as drinking $500, 600
gallons of beer last year.
Very likely Senator Aldrich is mere
ly holding up the cenatured alcohol
bill, for fear 1t would delay the pas
sage OF JDe rate Dill.
For Sale, Cheap "A lot of anthra-
cite coal stored for a strike. Apply
@. +. Baer & Co.
That list of the members of the new
Russian minimstry reads like a sneez-
Ing match.
John Mitchell's coal strike is the
best kind after all. He struck al
agreement.
The ladies' in Kansas cannot vote foI
governor, so that Gov. Hoch will new
or know whether he did right or not
when he failed to get that kiss.
The original rate bill wont know It,
self from ruin lett by an earthquake.
An artist says that MIR, Rockefel'
ler's ideas of art are crude. Yet John
ID. has done little work in oil that
was quite refined.
Grover Cleveland has taken to auto
mobile speeding for sport. 1t must
be that the "rascally fish have al
gone to sea. y
Mark Twain Is said to do most o.
his literary work In bed. He proba
bly, finds 1t much easier lying at tul
length.
Senator CLARK, of Montana, ism
going to be candidate for reelection
Anybody want to bid for the place
The nnloaded pistol in the hands o
this loaded owner is always first clas
solicitor for the undertaken.
A CRATER is reformer who is In. 4
reformer Is CRATER who is out.
The whole is said to be greater thar
part, but the United States Senate
seems to be an exception to the rule.
The number of destitutes in SaI
Francisco ia still officially reported a
nearly 200, 900. Earthquake and waite
combined are nearly knock-ou
blow.
A new paper, started In Atlanta, ha
insured the life of its epitor for S75,
600. II he Is shot, the paper at onc'
declares a dividend. The filling Ct
long-felt want is evident.
We are not much afraid of the com
ing of the hoopskirt, during Mr.. Roose
velt's administration, at least.
"You can teach people how to acI
acting, but you can't teach them tt
act, I" says Mr. Mansfield in the May
Alantie. We notice that they failed II
the case of Mr.. Mansfield.
An automobilist in N. Y. wal
thrown 80 feet when his machine
turned somersault. Tom Johnson'E
new six miles a minute overhead rail
way deiies these amateur efforts.
The Democrats of Tennessee are In 6
tangle, but what puzzles lockers on, Ii
why the Republicans of the state con
slider this psychological moment to in
dulge in small and silly squabbling.
The Smoot case has again been post
poned for two weeks. One or two
more moves like this will push 1t of
the board for the session.
The folding baby carriage has ar
rived for the benefit of fiat dive llers.
Now let genius run riot until a baby
that can be shut up Is invented.
"You never see Mormon tramp"
says Senator Smoot. No necessity of
a Mormon tramping, if his wives pro
rate the cost of his maintenance.
Sarah Bernhardt played in beer
garden in Seattle. But she has no in
tention of playing the Carrie Nation
circuit in the East.
This is the "open season" for the
open windows, open cars, openwork
hose, and the open season joke,
1t is believed that since his recent
appearance in court, the Burlington
Railroad has succeeded in not taking
itself of the habit of making a noise
like a rebate.
The new Russian premier is said to
look like an English butler. If he will
but act like one, the malcontents will
soon have their enthusiasm frozen out
of them.
The senate has agreed to a bill
which provides that passes may be
givenIto attorneys who are employed
exclusively by the railroads. " 1t will
be interesting to learn how many