Los Angeles herald., 1906-12-05

|
You never note its ills;
I have a home, and It is dca..-
You know, pay tAo 80.
What to do with our ex-presidents is
| a pu2zling problem, but what are we
going to do with our ex-countesses?
A hen on the premises of Cornell
university has laid 225 eggs in less than
ten months. Yet there are people who
sneer at higher education.
Poor without debt is better than a
prince" reads Turkish proverb hut
to be poor and owe $5,OOO,0OO must strike
Count Boni as being what war is.
An Erie (Pa.) man has sent 500 con-
science money to the state treasurer at
Harrisburg. But how does he know
that the state treasurer has a con-
science?
The mayor of Alton Qll.) has gone
into the business of rearing storks.
Carry the news to Hon. T. Roosevelt.
Lively
Girard has been a lively place this
week. On Tuesday evening 1t was
rather difficult to decide where to go,
whether to attend the w. G. T. U.
convention or to enjoy the Odd Fellows
entertainment. All were pleased who
attended either of these meetings.-Gi-
rard, Pa. Cosmopolite.
From millionaire's wife to head
waiter ought to be a step up for Boni,
at least financially speaking.
Senator Platt says he is "Stung by
criticism" The general opinion was
that New York was "stung"
They say that truth never hurts yet
no one likes to be called an ass
A Georgia justice of the peace drop
ped dead just after performing a we'd
ding ceremony. How sudden remorse
comes sometimes!
Not the Other One
U. s. Grant of Coshocton. a former
West Lafayette boy, was married to
Minnie Banks. Mr.. Grant works in the
. print shop of Mcdowell Bros.-West
Lafayette (ohio) Indicator.
, An Illinois preacher can hypnotize his
hearers. But what is wanted is one to
keep 'em awake.
Anyhow, Caruso never lived in Pitts
burg.
A Mark Twain book has been barred
from Connecticut library. Never
thought Twain needed that sort of ad-
!; vertising.
Orange-Men don't do heroic deeds for
the sake of women any more.
Lemon-Oh, 1 don't know. Soma
marry 'em.
Portland, Maine, BARRIERS have a de-
pating society. 1t is to be hoped they
cut 1t short"
Bankers want an elastic currency.
put not an elastic conscience.
} Something Doing in Our Midst
We understand that on Wednesday of
this week we will have a weddinoA IN
) our midst, Miss Ada Chester and Mr.
w. III. Erter being the happy couple
Congratulations, friends. AS this is the
flrst wedding to occur here for some
time the boys ought to get busy and
give them rousing old-time belling.-
knoXdale Correspondence of Antwerp
(Ohio) Bee.
Funny. but common sense is a most
l uncommon thing.
Signs of the times: S
Palm-Do you think him capable of
deceit?
Pepper-No; none believes anything
he says.
The driver of a water wagon in
) Washington was caught selling liquor.
} How nice for those ION the wagon
} Buzzards have been seen resting on
the capitol dome in Washington How
significant! Congress meets this month,
Perverted Proverbs
woman will go through anything
for the man she loves-even his pockets.
quart of gasoline in the tank is
worth ten gallons in the garage.
word to the wise is wasted
Pity is akin to love-but it's a distant
relative.
Coats of arms cloak no family skele-
tons.
The pace that kills is set by the auto
speeder.
A grass widow is one who makes hay
while the sun shines.
Love may find way but the old man
pays the freight.
A bird on the plate is worth IS, in
cluding wine.
Fools rush in and win where angels
fear to tread.
It's a wise man who knows his own
wifes back.
W II C.