davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08

Her lin grand stand)--why does the
man that throws the ball make all
those queer motions with his arm be-
fore he let's II got
Him-He's got TO do something TO
Justify the salary they pay him. II
keeps the attention OF the crowd CEN
tered on him little longer.-Chicago
Tribune
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
Natural Thought.

This milk IL warm. mamma" said
the city boy. tasting milk in the couI-
try for the FIRST time.
yes, my son." replied the parent;
Il suppose It lie Just fresh from the
cow"
"Oh. thought they'd made . mis-
take and put hot water instead Of cold
In itl"-Yonkers Statesman,
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
Heard In a Barber Shop.

what funny color his hair is"
"Yassah. kind Of bay"
Comes from exposing 1t in q bay
window, s'pose?"
"No, sab, from de excessive use OF
bay rum, sab. Have a shampoo?"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
One Case.

DO you believe in divorcesf"
''In some cases."
"Cite me case where q divorce Is
excusabie."
"I.srs's the case Of Chollie Mahl-
stick"
But he isn't married."
He has told me that he was we'd
ded TO his art "-Houston Post.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
still Another system.

Automobilist recovering from In
iury)--Isn't that a pretty stiff bill,
doc.orf
surgeon--You don't suppose I'm 60
Ing to let the repair men do all the
getting rich out OF this business, do
youf-Chicago Tribune.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
augg..tIv. Of ola Times.

Barber-Is the razor hurting you any,
sirf
Customer--Id never know there was
q razor on my face.
Barber-That's goodi
Customer-It reminds me more Of the
time when I used TO try to shave with
fathers old jacknife. Milwaukee Sen
tinel.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
A Lack oil Perception

Dat dog O. NINE" said Mr.. Erastus
Pinkly, keeps on tryin to whup ev'y
foui footed critter dat comes down de
road"
He must be a fighter"
NO. sub. lie amt no fighter. But
he don seem able to reco 'nize de fack "
Washington Star.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
FLYING tha p,ar,.

by the way" said the talkatlve bar
Der to the bald-headed man In the
chair. did you ever try my hair
tonic7"
No" answered the victim. that
wasn't what caused my har 10 fall
out. I'm a married man. Chicago
News.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
Including tha sxinh

i have never seen n woman who
was good at figures" asserted the pro.
lessor.
Come across the room, professor,
and let me introduce you to my wife;
she has had every figure that has be- n
In fashion for the last ten years"--
Houston Post
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
Another Failure.

Mrs. subbubs-This new girl is abb
solutely worthless. She can't cook.
and she won't do thing tell her.
Mr.. Subbubs-Well. she minds the
baby most Of the time, doesn't shel
Mrs. Misunderstanding she does. She
certainly doesn't mind me at all.-Phil.
adelphia Press.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
Yuml Yuml

'Rastus--Ah wisht de summah wuz
noah obah.
Sam-Wot yo' talkin' bout! fo'
knows yo' laik de summah time.
'Rastus--So' All do, but e. de sum
nah wuz neah obah watahmillons d
be pe.-Philadelphia Press.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
The Voice Of Sad Experiences.

"A boy should be taught never 10
contradict" said the disciplinarian.
yes" answered Mr.. Meekton; he
will get the benefit of the training IN
later years. 1t will make married life
much easier for him."-Washington
Star.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
A Cinch.

But, doctor. he has the worst case
OF nausea I ever saw: he can't keep q
thing on his stomach"
Send down to the drug store and
get this prescription filled; he'll DO
able TO KEEP this on his stomach"
what Is it7'
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08

Nordy--Everythlng seems to be
tainted these days,
Butts--It's a fact why. here lately
the butcher has even been sending me
tainted meat.--Chicago Sun.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08

The Banner Office Is the place TO get
your Letter Heads, Note Heads, lnvi-
tatlons, Statements and all kinds OF
lob work done.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
On an Ocean Liner

Mrs. Fiate--Who is that chesty man
Who looks as II he owned the bostf
Mr.. F1ste-I guess that's the jaritor
Of the ship,--Yonkers Statesman,
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
Oh Those Puns

I Eased on Maude's new springtide form,
She seemed afresh 10 bloom;
I said 10 her: You must have been
Up TO the -pad-roomv
Town Topics
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
Suspicious.

she--Now. dear, be sure and come
home straight from church.
He-Good graciousl Did you ever
know me to come home from church
any other way?-Yonkers Statesman.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1906-03-08
HIS Escape.

Happy Hooligan-Yes, ma'am, I'm a
fugitive.
Housewife-Alas, poor mani
II. H-Yes. maam. am running
away from the artist wot draws me In
the funny papers.-Washington Star.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
Died.

In Grafton, w. Va, Monday, March
), 1906, Mr.. y. ID. CaStecl, of that place,
aged y years. Mr.. CaStrel was sales
man i'll the store of Alden Clary several
years preceding the war and SO remem-
bercd by elder citizens. Later as Il
travelling man the younger business men
easily recall him AS a genial one of that
brotherhood.
At his home this place, Wednesday,
March !, 1906, Mr.. Joseph H. Huston,
aged 81 years. He had been i'll three
weeks with pneumonia Mr. Huston
was an eN-sodier of the Civil War, and
had resided here many years. Half of
Gov. Lowudes term he was IA Justice Of
the peace. His wife survives with three
daughters Charles Goetz, of Mt.
Savage; Mrs. George Logsdon, and Miss
Annabel, of this place, and three SONS
Messrs. William and Robert, of this
place, and George, of Salisbury, Pa.
Mrs. Long, mother of Clarence Long,
of this place, died at the latter's home,
on Centre street, Friday, March >, 1906,
aged 90 years.
At her home in Eckhart Tuesday,
March 6, 1906, Mrs Peter McMahon,
aged II years.
Friday morning, March 9, 1906, Karl,
infant son of Mr.. and Mrs. Charles A
Ilnkan, aged 3 years. Karl had been
Ill with pneumonia; recovered some
what; relapse set in and then the end
all within five or SIX weeks.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
BrcViticS.

a man at Des Molnes Iowa, makes ice
at IA cost of 30 cents IA ton, but if he had
to pay the price for water charged the
JOURNAL, the cost would be not less
than So IA ton.
So far the reasons for having an ideal
superb man for Mayor next year haven t
got beyond theinterests of the transfers
Three men and "a woman i'll town the
other day i'll IA one-hOrSe vehicle After
the keg of beer was admitted itcertainly
was Jam. In fact had not the woman
consented to stand and hold ON to the
strap the beer couldn't have been
taken ON.
Now, gentlemen opponents of the new
Charter because the old is good enough.
why not show sufficient interest in the
old to put good men i'll charge of it? In
this and other related matters the people
can't have too much of good thing.
DIR. }. w. Jones, osteopathist, has
given up his Hotel Gladstone rooms and
will not longer look after his FroStburg
practice there. He Will still attend
Frostburg calls, however
Gentlemen, opponents of the new
Charter because i'll the pHbIic interest it
aims to reopen accounts against less
than IA fourth of the town, why not take
more than fourfOld interest i'll nOmina-
ting and electing good men to take care
of the whole town?
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
TOWN AND VICINITY.



DR.. and Mrs w f. Enfield, of Bed
ford, visiting Mrs. +. : parents, Mr.. and
Mrs j. NJ. Irwin, have returned home.
Miss Mary Fhckwir, of Philadelphia,
visiting nephew and niece, Mr.. and Mrs.
John A. Caldwell, has returned home.
Those who came with the remains of
Mrs j. p. Smith from Allegheny city,
Pa. Friday of last week We're Capt J.
Polk Smith, the hereaved husband; Mr..
and Mrs Ollie Grphart, Mr.. and Mrs.
George r. Smith, Mrs. May Patterson,
Miss Helen Smith, and J Albert Hawke.
All returned home the next day.
Miss Marguerite Davis. daughter of
w. II Davis, has returned from pro
tracted stay with relatives III Oakland.
Nicholas T. Hooking and Rev f. r.
Wagner have returned home from "A
visit to HaZeIton, Pa.
c. w. Slick, eX-Surgeon General of
Thobur Post, G.. \. r., arrived in
town, mounted, Tuesday. He was not
expected, hence popular confusion and
want of preparation. However, he put
up his horse at a barber-shOp and went
to downtown livery to get shaved.
Next he applied at restaurant for a
drink, expecting to enjoy luncheon later
at bar, but failing IN all his first at
tempts, he announced that he was next
to head in a caVaVausary at Salisbury.
Pa, aud Frostburgers coming there
hungry and thirsty, could be relieved of
either or both depriyations at 80 and ~
cents per. Considering his long absence,
the doctor was looking J." Sfnf,' quo past
h,HInU.
r. Mason Hill. of cumberland, spent
several hours in the metropolis Thursday
Thomas Netf of the L. :. army,
stationed at Washington, d. c., is visit
ing his parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Henry X.
Netf.
Arthur b. Largent, connected with
the electrical engineering department of
the Century Coal Company, Century,
Barbour county, w. Va, returned home
Tuesday evening for Il short stay with
his family. He says c. w. McCulloh,
chief clerk and paymaster, will visit
his home here ON the 2lth inst. He
says also that the nearest drink of whis-
key Is IO3 miles distant, while water is
away only 10 minutes the hardest kind
of artrSlau pumping.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10

Services and sermons tomorrow Sun
day. at the Union street Baptist Church
by the pastor, Rev. Edw. G. Allard, at
l0l2 "A. m. and p. m.
Services at NJ. f. Church, South, Rev.
j. Is. Hupman, pastor, tomorrow (Sun-
day. lOl2 II. m. and I p. III. sermons by
pastor; , p. m. Sunday school; Epworth
League Monday ~ p. m; prayer ser
vice Thursday =. p. III.
At the First NJ. f. Church, Rev. A.
II. Thompson, pastor, tomorrow (Sun-
day. 9 Il, III. love-feast; 1912 IA. III. ser
mon by paStor-"The Nature and Power
of FAITH" preIude-"A Plea for Child
hood ? p. m. Sunday school; 6:45 p.
III. Epworth League; - p. m. sermon
by presiding elder, Rev. w. l.. Nc
Dowell.
See Uniou-Street Baptist Church ere
vival Services announcement under
New Business Locals"
At St. Johns Episcopal Church, Rev.
Il. Johnston Campbell, rector, to NOR
row cd Sunday in Lent lOl, Il. m.
morning prayer, ltany and sermon; ~ ,
p. m. Sunday school; - p. m rector
will give the first of a series of evening
lectures, subject-"Our Homes" The
choir will he assisted by the Frostburg
orchestra. Services each day through
out Lent.
At St Paups Lutheran Church, Rev.
f. Il. Wagner, pastor, Tomorrow (Sun.
day. services and sermons morning and
evening at usual hours.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
AT the Book" Mr.. Crunnp.

fkuSrBI re-, MD, March :, 1906
To the MINING JOURNAL.
AS the time is drawing near for the
voters of FroStburg to make selection of
Mayor and three Councilmen, | ask per.
mission to use a little space in vour
columns.
| realize the Importance of selecting a
Mayor who has good Judgment and the
towns best interests at heart. We are
expecting some developments in the
next year which will require man at
the head who has the best Judgment
and who will work for the interest of ali
the people Instead of too much for self,
policy which has seemed to exist of
late years.
| hardly know, however, who to rec.
ommend for this honorable position.
have been considering James f. GRIMM
who was placed i'll the fight last wear at
the eleventh honr and came within an
ace of capturing the honor. There is
little doubt but what he would make an
excellent Mayor.
But the question ariseS-will he he
impartial? Will he divide up the town
work among the teamSters: This is not
beng done at the present time, as if is
common remark among the haulers that
the Mayor and one Councilman are
"sklmming off the cream, and they had
better make the best of it, as the in
dicatiOns are they will retire from public
life at the end of their terms.
| would like to have Mr.. Crumn's
published views along this line, and | am
frank to say that if he would decide tO
enter the race upon Il platform of "euu II
rights to all, there would be little
doubt but that he could be elected by n
large majority.
But |, for one, will not advocate his
cause until | am convinced that he will
take TINS stand. a TAXPAYER.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
What Shall the Town Do?

One brave citizens plan is-"if that
electric road company wont pay its
share of the paving cost, take up its
rails for at least 100 yards, beginning at
the corporate limits on both ends, and
pile them mp just outside the town."
This he says, fought to be done by
the Mayor and Council in their corpor
ate capacity.'
The Journal, asked concerning this
proposal replies-''if the Mayor and
Council can tear down ii room project
ing over an alley mainly because it is
unSightly, they can surely defend the
town i'll similar manner from an i'm
position which monopolizes one-third of
its main highway and that without IA
cent of compensation or even ackuowl-
edgment of 1t as "A favor.
Something ought to be done to re-
store to the town its lost command of
its own.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
CnIIsc and I.ncCt.

The School Calendar for 1906 pub,
fishes an interesting table of Educa-
tional Statistics of States and Leading
Cities for l9O4-5,' useful to the scho-
lastic student, especially for comparison.
1t is shown that Maryland is ahead of
some and hind number of other
States in the sum of expenditures for
public education.
Massachusetts leads all in this respect.
At the same time, the per- r"p't" Of
wealth in that Stat" is greater than III
any other-this to be accounted for,
however, i'll the fact that the people :
money making ability, due to superior
scholarship, Is the result Of ample school
provisions and system Of compulsory
plucatlOn
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
AIlrganN Statesmen.

The "dtfcrcutlal' promises to cut a
wild" swath in the Baltimore and Ohio
reform.
But 1t will be remembered that Hon.
David +. Dick didn't attach much i'm
portance To the matter when he was
running for nomination and election to
the Senate last fall
The JOURNAL would like to print an
explanation from Hon. j. j. Stump
showing how that snake got into tn"
elcctric-road tax bill, aud who en-
giuccred his suakeship
The trick of sneaking Cumberland out
of all county liabilities Is one the people
ont here ought to stop.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
LOCAL CORRESPONDENCE
An important Matter

NJ
",'' '' ' '''''''' l. ''''''
10 ..i, '''>'>" 'o' ">N''
VIII you allow me through your paper
to enter protest against what deem
an imposition upon the taxpayers of
AlItSahS county
ne EFFORT OF lhc county Commission
"fS To nave an ACT passed empowering
them to make new assessment Of all
properties within the county is a project
tor winch they have no reasonable
excuse
y new assessment founded on present
property values VIII increase the taxes
to b" pald to tine Safe IN round numbers
-aoout 9l2,oo' year Whllt all other
counties Will be paying thelr State taxes
ON the assess mtnt OF lS96-a basis from
80 to 10 per cent. lower than present
property values. Inns Is discrimination
OF the worst KIND, and against their own
people besides.
why new assessment winch Will
cost the county from Slo'oOo to Sl2,oOO:
II the present assessments are not up
ON an equitable basis, the fault lies
with the commissioners, and could be
rehlealed without imposing Snch heavy
expense as IA new assessment Will cost
basis, the Commissioners should deter
mime from year TO year the difference
III property values, and after knowing
the percentage OF increase or decrease,
lnStrucfs the assessors to make their
assessments accordingly.
The new assessment bill requires the
ComrhiSSi"ners 10 set IN appeal session
Tor a perlod OF one month AT - a day
near appeals and ADJUST all lncQuitable
assessments to basis of value as deter
mined by the general assessments of
1916, and save us the other expenses
which the passage of the bill Will entail,
and leave our county on an equitable
p''HiH "l'h 'iic o'htl IoulIlcS Ill IeSdlu
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10

Charles II. Jennings the enterprising
lumherman, operating near GirantSvlllc,
and head of an electric traction syndi-
cate, has completed the purchase of
charter rights amt franchises for the
electric line between JOhnstown, Pa.
and this place, connecting here with the
Cumberland and Wcsternport system.
Surely, the Town Council ought to be
able to mameuvrc the Belt Line ont of
that junction. Then, more than ever,
the line should run ON Loo street. in
front of he State Normal School, Make
it easy. even for Pennsylvania, to patron
i've our great School.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10

The JOURNAL is not sure that the Cum
berlaud Union N,rS-L,udcr is ON safe
ground i'll advertising four printing
offices as "unfair.
Both Webster and the Standard Die
tionary define unfair as "not hou,I, "
"d,ShoutSt," etc.
If union lHbormcu We're brought tC
book on this point they might nave
more than an S-hour day convincing q
fair court that IA 9-hour workday Is d
"dlshonest' eXacuon, especially for !
hours pay.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
THE Sign Ofthc Cross.

Wilson Barrett's impressive and
powerfully constructed religious DRAMA
The Sign of the Cross" which will be
presented at the Frostburg Opera House
"Wednesday, next, l4th inst, is full of
striking contrasts. The scene is laid in
Rome under the eXtravagant and
tyrannical rule of Nero. The gorgeous
and wantom luxury of the Roman Court
is shown in broad colors Offsetting
this there is the simple dress and lowly
mien of the band of Christians whose
persecution and martyred victory in
their faith form the main theme of the
deeply interesting story of the play.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
Fire.

August Boucher, living about two
miles below Barton, lost his barn by fire
Saturday evening of last week. includ-
ing 3 horses, 8 cattle, 30 tons hay, 300
bushels oats. 10 barrels corn, wagon,
harness and farming implements. Loss
at least $1,000 insurance 81 900
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
The Coming Railroad

Reports of tunnels projected on the
Wabash extension between Cumberland
and Frostburg conflict SO radically with
surface inequalities that the JOURNAL
Will not reproduce them.
1t is probably enough to say the road
is coming, and that work on grade here
about Will be- going within the year.
Meanwhile, there is a detachment of
b. 4 O. surveyors working between
Frostburg aud Mt Savage with what
purpose no one hercabout knows.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10

Society has been playing cards all week.
Cumberland hdcr
The common people have been working
for a living all week. Cumberland Con,jcr.
Which is probably why some common
people want s instead of hours for
play, besides what is wasted i'll sleep
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
Y. NJ. G. \.

To morrow Sunday 3D. p. III. Meet
ing for Men: address 10y George \.
Mortand, of Cumberland a member of
Baltimore Central y NJ. c. A, includ-
ing his "Story of a Marvellous Convcr-
sion thrilling recital. simply given,
of ''incident> in Xululand and Ceylon. ''
Special music and rousiug song
service.
"Don miss this All men welcome. ''
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
Married.

Charles II. Ieller, brother of Frost
burg's leading barber, was recently
married i'll Chicago, III. The bride was
Miss +. Long, an excellent Young lady.
"Charhe' owns Fro>tburg as the
METROPOLIS of his birth
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1906-03-10
A Desirable Property
- FOR SALE

NlFt ATED on Union street. FrOstburg
- Nd. Improved by large Two-Stor,
building.
~ VIII be sold on easy terms. Apply
to DANIEL POWELL
Sept9 Union street.
The Muskogee cimeter. [volume] (Muskogee, Indian Territory, Okla.) 1901-19??, 1906-10-19
Rebuking a Doa.

with the opening OF the hunting
season the usual crop of stories about
dogs and shooting has begun to spring
up This one about the jealousy of an
English setter was told the other day
to the Observer.
Il had two dogs that season." began
the man who told the story. "one
ABOUT nine years old, the other less
than year. Both were settlers, the
young one being pup of the old dog.
The first day the law was off | took
Doth the dogs for try at the birds.
The pup, though | had worked him in
the held but little, showed that he was
going to be hunter, and from the
very nrst covered his ground and
made his points without flushing the
Dirds but once or twice in the whole
forenoon. He made such a fine show.
ing that / made good deal over him
'hat noon, when we rested for lunch.
and the old dog was sort of left ont Of
IT, suppose ii made him Jealous. and
that afternoon he wouldn't hunt at
all. The pup worked out fairly rangy.
Dut the old dog stayed close to our
heels. Finally losing patience with
the old fellow, | half turned and said,
pretty much in ordinary tones: Don,
II couldn't hunt any better than that
Ia go home. And go home he did
ana all that season he never would
work when the pup was in the field
with him, When the pup wasn't there
he was as good dog as you'd find
anywhere but he was jealous and sore
at the young dog"
The Muskogee cimeter. [volume] (Muskogee, Indian Territory, Okla.) 1901-19??, 1906-10-19
Microbe Of Gray Hair.

They have discovered a new mic
robe in New York and it is quite popu-
lar among actors and society women.
II is called the chromophage, its spe-
cial function being to turn the hair
gray at comparatively early age. The
handsome actor who has those white
hairs on his temple that the women
admire so Is full of the chromophages.
Baldheaded men are immune from the
microbes. He only attacks the hair,
and man without hair need not wor-
ry about the chromophage. For years
it was thought that a process Of the
blood killed the coloring matter OF the
hair cells, but scalpologists in New
York combat that theory. They say
it is the chromophage. The microbe
does not like heat and for that reason
the woman who uses the curling tongs
Is less likely to have gray hair than
the one who puts her hair up in pa
pers.