The San Francisco call., 1906-09-02

ing cutting remarks about every ors,
thinking il gives smart" effect IN
kind gossip makes enemies instead OF
friends. Spiteful remarks must not
be made by any one trying FOR social
success, either at Newport or Keokuk-
Every one should cultivate gracious
manner.
Another mistake is to invite wholly
uncongenial persons TO a dinner. For
instance. a man OF excellent business
standing often invites member or
his corporation to dine and places next
to him the wife OF some insignificant
little bounder. probably the honest
bright but plain manager Of garage.
The wife may have beauty, but for
various reasons the financial man does
not care to be intimate with her hus-
band. and so would have another en-
gagement when asked to dine at that
house again.
The host has always dictated his
business policy and does not see why
he cannot dictate his private life AL
though a newcomer in the social field.
he Will not take advice from those who
have been in 1t since birth There
may be nothing Objectionable about
the man except that he tries to force
his ideas upon those who have views
OF their own. He makes himself
ridiculous. and with the exception Of
rev Ola IrlenQS WHO SlACS " AAAo
wines he is deserted
Common opinion has IL that the
moment people get into the social
swim they have the privilege OF being
as gay as they like. even to the point
of being conspicuous AS a matter OF
fact at no time in ones career Is he
so carefully watched as during the
first years of his social recognition
Enemies look for weak spots. and the
climber must carry himself above re-
proach until he has been in the set"
so long that no one can recall exactly
when he arrived"
That is where his life differs from
that of the man who has been an
aristocrat all his life and Is allotted
some freedom. A case in point is that
of a young man who with his pretty
wife made considerable headway at
Newport until he became conspicuous
as the angel" of theatrical star. In
stantly his social stock dropped many
points Several men who have been In
society all their lives are known as
angels" but they are fixed in society.
and this the newcomer cannot under
stand His first few years OF social
endeavor are anything but en1Oyablo
because the 1ineight IS ever on him.
Once in the swim there is no rest for
the climber. for the moment he relaxes
his energy and stops entertaining he Is
down and out" He must be ever
alert, busy, thoughtful. Perhaps he
came originally from small city and
dreamed IN his early days that New
Workers would fall at his feet when
they saw the glitter Of his gold He
would have to do nothing but sit back
and smile. The rest seemed like chtlds
play He learns later that society has
its own temperament its superstitions,
its clannish desire for self-preservation
and its dread of having it's weaknesses
exposed to view. Society wants TO be
convinced that the newcomer Is SINCERE
In his desire to be one Of them and not
mere camp follower: that he wants to
take UP their sympathies and their
follies; that he will overlook their
Jealousies and their quarrels.
Sometimes a climber will be taken
into the fold and then frowned upon for
some indiscretfon later. This will en-
rage him to the extent Of calling the
aristocracy an artificial organization OF
social vagabonds. bent robbing one
another. but no one pays any attention.
for it is a new version Of the old souR
grapes fable.
Old and New New York.
In the old New York social regime it
was believed that all persons in the
aristocracy were refined and cultivated:
that all outside the charmed circle were
coarse and ignorant. This does not
hold true today. for education and re-
fnement are found on both sides. OF the
line. Very ordinary persons push their
heartless manners upon the select
gathering inside the circle, and there
you are. That delightful story. The
Rise OF Silas Lapham" by Howells.
showed the type of man who tried TO
better his social position ten or fifteen
years ago. Travel has done much to
broaden the views and smooth the
roughness of present day business men,
and yet when they listen to the social
bees buzzing their happiness takes
wings and flies away. Only the man
who is cOntented with his station In
life '1ives happy ever after
The aristocracy is no better or worse
than any other class. but it's vices and
virtues are held up to public view and
magnified.
How to get into the aristocracy. This
subject will make the old conservative
New Yorker shudder. for he wants TO
believe there is no way OF getting In.
He thinks of society as he found IL
when a youngster. fortified and I'M
pregnable. Why should strangers be
allowed within? He now sits at the
club windows watching the throng pass
on his dearly beloved Fifth avenue, the
one thoroughfare of the world. Much
OF the procession to him is but a funeral
march, for have not the newcomers
stolen his sweetest possession-socIal
distinction? He cannot compete with
the vast fortunes dumped upon the
avenue. When his entertainments wers
overshadowed by others he dropped out
Conditions have changed with each
passing year. What was socially i'm
possible ten years ago is the usual
thing today If you would enter the
aristocracy. remember that IL Is pos
sible. but the game is more difacuIe
than making money and happiness Is
not guaranteed