The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1906-12-19

ragin' hippypotty-musses." He went
! back to his desk and wrote.
"Mr. Morgan, head of tariff depart
ment." he wrote. "Why do I say
dago pigs is pigs because they is pigs
and will be til you say they amt
which is what the rule book says,
stop your jollying me, you know as
| well as I do. AS TO health they are
all well and hoping you are the same.
p. s. There are eight now the fam
| lily increased all good eaters. p s.
paid out so far two dollars for cab
bage which they like shall put in
bill for same what?"
Morgan, head of the tariff depart
ment. when he received this letter,
laughed. He read it again and be-
came serious.
"By George!" he said. "Flannery
is right. Pigs is pigs I'll have to
get authority on this thing. Mean
while. Miss Kane. take this letter.
Agent Westcote, n. J. Regarding
shipment guinea pigs, File No.
A6,754, Rule SO. General Instruction
to Agents. clearly states that agents
shall collect from consignee all costs
of provender. etc., required for live
stock while in transit or storage.
You will proceed to collect same
from consignee.'
Flannery received this letter next
morning, and when he read it he
grinned.
Proceed to collect" he said, soft
ly "How thin clerks do loike to be
tallxin'! Me proceed to collect two
dollars and twinty-foice cints of
Misther Morehouse? wonder do
thin clerks know Mistber More
house? I'll git it! Oh. yis! 'Misth-
err Morehouse. two an a quarter.
Place 'Cert'nly. my dear fri'nd
Flannery Delighted! Not!"
Flannery drove the express wagon
to Mr.. Warehouses; door. Mr.. More
house answered the bell
"Ah, hal" he cried, as soon as he
saw it was Flannery. $50 you have
you? thought you would! Bring
the box in
81 hev no box" said Flannery,
coldly. 81 hev bill agin Misther
John C. Morehouse for two dollars
and twinty-foive cints for kebbages
aten by his dago pigs. Wud you
wish to pay it,"
"Pay-Cabbages gasped Mr.. |
Morehouse. "Do you mean to say
that two little guinea pigs"
Eight" said Flannery. Papa |
an mama an six children. Eight"
For answer Mr.. Morehouse slam
med the door in Flannery's face.
Flannery looked at the door re-
proachfully.
81 take ut the con-sign'y don't |
want to pay for thin kebbages," he
said "If I know signs of refusal, |
the con-sign-y refuses to pay for wan
dang kebbage leaf an be hanged to
met
Mr.. Morgan. the head of the tariff |
department. consulted the president
OF the Interurban Express company |
regarding guinea pigs. as to whether
they were pigs or not pigs. The
president was inclined to treat the
matter lightly.
"What is the rate on pigs and on
pets?" he asked
"Pigs thirty cents, pets twenty
five said Morgan.
Then of course guinea pigs are
pigs said the president.
"Yes, agreed Morgan. 81 look at
it that way. too. A thing that can
come under two rates is naturally
due to be classed as the higher. But
are guinea pigs pigs? Aren't they
rabb.ts?"
Come to think of it, said the
president. 81 believe they are more
like rabbits. Sort of halfway sta
ton between pig and rabbit. think
the question is this-are guinea pigs
of the domestic pig family? I'll ask
Professor Gordon. He is authority
on such things. Leave the papers
with me"
The president put the papers on
his desk and wrote a letter to Pro-
fessor Gordon. Unfortunately, the
professor was in South America col
lecting geological specimens, and the
letter was forwarded to him by his
wife. As the professor was in the
highest Andes. where no white man
had ever penetrated, the letter was
many months in reaching him. The