davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23
N OLD man died in st. Louis
the other day. He requested

in his will that his body be
cremated and the ashes cast into the Mis-
sissippi river said traveller Possibly
the old man had some reason of sentiment
for his strange request. for he died in
poverty. after losing a fortune. Possibly
he was actuated by that bond Of affection
and silent admiration which the majestic
river has woven about many hearts. Once
a man has fallen under the spell of the
Mississippi he never loses his first I'M
pressions of It's grandeur, its. power and
its mysticism. It is brother to the eter-
nal hills and in It's purring progress TO
the sea, so great and yet so quiet and
unruffled by worldly strife, 1t awakens
a reverence. a nature worship in the soul
of every man who appreciates natures
superlative handworks. When life.s brief
story is ended 1 know of no more well
come resting place than in the silent
depths of the Mississippi"
The chap who formerly made century
runs is now wearing the auto face"
when one of the mules pulling the
ship of state ball1s, unhitch him and put
in another!" shouted Mr. Conner at classic
Athens and Minerva, noting the mixed
metaphor, winked one eye.
MAMIE.
Mamie was perfect lady,
Mamie was a lovely thing
Never had a new hat and she
Never wore a diamond ring;
Never talked about her rival.
Never was she known to pout.
Mamie was a peaceful bossy-
Now we've let the secret out
When the voice of the people reaches
washington 1t is a whisper
The unconscious homage which all men
pay to knowledge is shown by the mil
lionaire who fills his library with costly
books that he never reads and cannot APP
preciate.
NATURALLY.
Peters waxed warm
And then he persplred
Peters was hot
Because he was fired
While fool and his money are soon
parted, the same thing may be said of a
man and his hair.
Arizona and New Mexico are not speak
ing now.
Kansans are now betting on the char
lot race in Ben Hur."
MAN.
Man wants but little here below
If he is having trouble;
But If it's wealth he's going for
He likes to have it double.
The Boston Traveller publishes a joke
known to be seventy-hve years old and
1t sounds comparatively new,
Maybe one reason why there are so
few heroes to be found Is that there is
so much money.
THOSE FUNNY STORIES.
No doubt you've noticed when a man
Is standing in crowd,
That something naughty neatly put
Will make him laugh out loud.
There Is a town out In Nevada where
baths cost SO each and cleanliness is next
to plutocracy.
No typographical error OF recent times
has caused more regret than that which
appeared on the editorial page of The
Age Herald yesterday morning. A verse
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Japan undoubtedly wants the Philip
pines. but it is not plain that the Flip
mos want to be governed by the Japs,
and the consent of the governed is
supposed to go in this country.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Buffalo Park, Kan, wants a station
agent. This announcement is not an
advertisement; 1t is made out of sheer
sympathy for Buffalo Park.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

A bogus half dollar was passed ON
Hetty Green the other day. The per-
son who passed it has chance to be-
come famous by making itself known.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23
The REAL TERROR.

From the Boston Globe.
Ghosts at Smith? What do the girls
care, so long as the mousetraps do their
perfect work?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23
RosedaIe,s Future.

Il think I can see bright future for
that little nook hidden beyond Red Noun
tain known as Rosedale," said visitor
to Birmingham at the Morris last night.
This, at present. is an unpretentious
village and out of reach, but fancy pic
lures in my mind a line of electric rail-
ways scaling the mountain, providing
quick and easy transportation to this
quiet spot free from the dust, smoke.
noise and turmoil of the city.
There is not a more ideal residence
section In the Birmingham district and
1t seems to be that an electric railway
over the mountain is an easy possibility
and one that would be profitable.
I'm fact Red Mountain itself is one
of the most popular resorts hereabouts.
and though the climb is a difficult one.
especially in the summer months, many
people make the Journey even afoot, for
the view and the fresh air they get at
the crest.
This may be an idle day-dream but
I believe that a few more years will see
the building of a railway line over the
mountain and Rosedae one of the most
popular residence sections in the district"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Poultney Bigelow forgets that only
Standard Oil magnates are privileged
to handle legal questions flippantly.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

has manufactured the stuff, and has ex-
tended the Industry to noodles and other
things IN about the same line. I would
like to know the actual scope of that
industry now"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Unless we get a blizzard, how can
the northern states hope to enjoy their
customary thaw?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23
A Birmingham Possibility.

1.-THE building of passenger car by the
Birmingham Railway Light and Power
company, all the material and workman
opens a new prospect Of Birmingham's
possibilities said a business man from
a neighborlng city at the Hillman hotel
last night
Il am glad to note the intention of this
company to build all its own cars in the
future. I see no reason why this should
not be done, and at a great saving to the
company. We have all the material nee
essary for such work right at our doors,
and 1 am sure that we have the mechani-
cal skill necessary.
while the car already constructed is a
trailer 1t is one of the handsomest and
most substantially built of those already
In service In this city land we have the
finest cars in the SOUTH, it is also an
nounced by the Birmingham Railway,
Light and Power company that it will In
the future build electric motor cars as
large and as finely equipped as can be
built anywhere. This will be a long stride
forward In Birningham's achievements,
but so common has become these great
undertakings in this district that we have
fallen in the habit of taking but little
notice of these individual steps in our
industrial progress.
Il hope to see the day, and that very
soon, when Birmingham will not only
build all the cars needed in this city, but
will enter the market with as fine cars
as can be made in the country"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

In Kansas an undertaken says in his
advertisement, use one of our baskets
and you will never use any other"
There is nothing the matter of Kan
sass undertakers.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Joe Chamberlain claims that he
foated ashore on the wreckage of the
tory ship.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

General Funston has been ordered
back to the Philippines. This will per
haps put him soon again in the swim.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Premier C.-B. seems booked for
seven years of power and trouble. The
tories at any rate can not bounce him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Aphasia may be what ails H. H. Rog
ers, for he lacks at times expression
of his ideas.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Having discovered that Morocco has
much undeveloped wealth, 1t is but
natural that Americans should desire
to have some of it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23
BIRMINGHAM and Houston.

Birmingham has about the oleanest
streets of any town have ever vis-
tied" said w. H. Chapman of Houston,
Tex who Is mere to attend the conference
Of the street railway officials.
While you are not going to get me TO
say anything against Houston, | want to
say that the streets in this city sur
prised me. From what I have seen and
heard of Birmingham, I believe 1t is
very much like Houston-a young mans
town. There is in Birmingham, like Hous-
ton, lots of room for a young fellow who
has the hustling fever and who, like
the postage stamp, will stick to a thing
until he gets there The opportunity is
never lacking and In Houston we are
always on the lookout for bright young
men.
Houston has everything in its favor
even to weather, although for the past
two weeks, the weather has been I'M
welcome. The thermometer stood at 80
degrees every day Sunday, however. the
change came, and | thought we were GO
ing to have another REPETITION of the
Galveston flood. For half an hour We
had most remarkable electrical storm,
which completely demolished signs, tele-
graph poles and wires and in some in
stances, roofs of houses. Immediately fol-
lowing that. we had a cool snap and
hope the regular winter weather has ar
Rived
About Persons.
T. H. Tutwiler of Memphis is at the
Hillman.
c. o. Berthom of Montgomery is regis
tered at the Metropolitan.
Charles L Miller of New Orleans is at
the Birmingham.
Lewis H. Steiner of Admission is at the
Colonial
Dave Markstein of Mobile is at the
Morris.
C. ]. Probeck of Philadelphia is at the
Hillman
A. N Hooper of Guntersville is at the
Metropolitan.
]. c. Dennis, H. F. Chandler and DIR.
N S. Johnson of Clanton are registered at
the Metropolitan.
]. B. shipley of st. Louis is at the Hill
man.
c. A. Stiftmeyer of Cullman is at the
Norris
Mr.. and Mrs. r. W. Whitney of New
York are at the st. Nicholas
F. M. Robertson of Fayette is at the
Morris
r. o. Rogers of Cleveland is at the st.
Nicholas.
Louis Kaufman of New Orleans is at the
Hillman.
Henry Himbert of Pensacola is at the
Birmingham.
James H, Matthews of Meridian is at
the Colonial.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Mr.. Chamberlain was elected, but he
will be lonesome in the new Parlia-
ment.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Radcliffe college is trying to raise
money. That is what everybody is
trying to do.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

France does not propose to treat
Castro to the amenities of a French
duel.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

The north pole should take notice
that it is about to be discovered by
journalist instead of a newspaper man.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Neither Attorney General Hadley nor
Lawyer Hughes proposes to enter poll
tics.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

1t is but natural to suppose that mid
shipmen who haze will also swear.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Chauncey has insurance aphasia,
and it is pretty bad complaint.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

The New York coal dealers have
blaeklisted $4,000 of their customers.
Some Of the number can not therefore
be members of the 400.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

A Chicago octogenarian was SEN
fenced to ninety-nine years in the pen
itentiary He will be good for the rest
of his life.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Charles E. Hughes says college men
are out for the graft like other people.
What does he expect man to do with
an education that gives him an advant-
age over cheap raseals?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

M. Clemenceau claims to be the
>, arwick of France, if a republic can
be said to keep such person on its
staff
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

The Standard Oil octopus is also
busy in Morocco.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Birmingham goes one way and the
United Kingdom another way.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
MATTERS OF THE TIMES

was omitted from the 1ourth slahNd u
Casey at the Bat" Eager readers who
stumbled here saw the pity of it and
wondered how such a thing could be.
Casey" is a classic and as such merits
tender consideration at the hands Of type
settlers and proofreaders.
GUssIE.
When Gussie Blinkers rose to sing,
She stood up in the choir,
And death seemed easy to a few
Who had to sit close by her.
A man who is now a successful lawyer
IN Alabama was once sent on long
search for "Shakespeare's Travels
Through Florida"
Boys and girls are sliding on the ice
up east. About the only sliding we can
do down here is to backslide.
SHOCKING.
Tho Polly has the softest heart,
] couldn't help but scream
When | beheld the heartless way
In which she whipped the cream.
Cat shows are becoming quite popular.
One or two lady contestants who lost
hint that not all the cats attending are
on exhibition.
NOT so STRANGE.
(Air any old thing)
He never hates TO undertake,
He never hates to undertake,
He never hates to undertake,
For he's an undertaken.
WHEN SCIENCE FAILED.
Dan Cupid sought an oculist
But no help could he find.
There was no curing Cupid there.
For love. you know, is blind.
Booker T. Washington has gone east to
raise money. If there's anything he can
do that's it.
Viola Allen remained welded to her art
until she was 80 years old and then mar
ried a horseman, without divorce
Mississippi leads off with a lynchins
for 1906. The affair was conducted "as
usual"
Stamps will also be provided with q
winter dress but 1t is only a softer
gum for their backs and absurdy cheap
when compared to the winter dress that
goes on some backs.
TO DISCOURAGE TROUBLE.
When Trouble comes If you'll just ba
AS cold and impolite
As you are to the man who tries
/ To sell you books on sight.
The chances are that Trouble will
: Be glad to run away,
For where he's not made welcome, why,
The old chap will not stay
A Philadelphia girl went shopping and
got a husband. 1t remains to be seen
whether he is bargain or not.
If the President Is like most OF us he
will take anything he can get even If
1t Is third term.
A waiter In New York says that his
weekly salary is Sc. his tips $40 and extras
at banquets 500 making total Of $50
a week. Pianissimo:
We'd like to be a waiter
And stand behind a chairl
We'd rather be a waiter
Than be millionaire.
Having sailed away across the sea to
Europe, George AIDE may be able to write
a comedy about seasickness-after he
lands. PAUL CoOh'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Jake Riis is trooly loyal at any rate
to the White House.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

The Car and Premier White are en-
joying their breathing spell.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

DR.. Osler says that oxford is not
up to the highest standard as medi-
cal college. He came over here to
say 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

President Castor has certainly got
into the limelight.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

M. Tagny begins to feel that he is
persona non grata in Caracas.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Spring is an interloper in the lap Of
spring
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Morales is only an ex-hero at pres
emf
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

are out for the graft like other people.
What does he expect a man to do with
an education that gives him an advant-
age over cheap raseals?
-------------------
In Kansas an undertaken says in his
advertisement, use one of our baskets
and you will never use any other"
There is nothing the matter of Kan
sass undertakers.
The New York coal dealers have
blacklisted $1,000 of their customers.
Some Of the number can not therefore
be members of the 400.
--e.-
Having discovered that Morocco has
much undeveloped wealth, 1t is but
natural that Americans should desire
to have some of it.
A Chicago octogenarian was SEN
fenced to ninety-nine years in the pen
itentiary He will be good for the rest
of his life
Dr. Osler says that Oxford is not
up to the highest standard as medi-
cal college. He came over here to
say 1t.
M. Clemenceau claims to be the
:, arwick of France, if republic can
be said to keep such a person on its
staff.
The north pole should take notice
that it is about to be discovered by a
Journalist instead of a newspaper man.
General Funston has been ordered
back to the Philippines. This will per-
haps put him soon again in the swim.
Poultney Bigelow forgets that only
Standard Oil magnates are privileged
to handle legal questions iippantiy.
Unless we get a blizzard, how can
the northern states hope to enjoy their
customary thaw?
Radcliffe college is trying to raise
money. That is what everybody is
trying to do.
Aphasia may be what ails H. H. Rog-
ers, for he lacks at times expression
of his ideas.
Joe Chamberlain claims that he
floated ashore on the wreckage of the
tory ship.
Mr. Chamberlain was elected, but he
will be lonesome in the new Parlia-
ment
Castro to the amenities of French
duel.
Neither Attorney General Hadley nor
Lawyer Hughes proposes to enter poll
tics.
1t is but natural to suppose that mid
shipmen who haze will also swear
Chauncey has insurance aphasia,
and it is a pretty bad complaint.
Birmingham goes one way and the
United Kingdom another way.
M. Tagny begins to feel that he is
persona non grata in Caracas.
The Car and Premier White are en-
joying their breathing spell.
Jake Riis is trooly loyal at any rate
to the White House.
The Standard Oil octopus is also
busy in Morocco.
President Castor has certainly got
into the limelight.
Spring is an interloper in the lap OF
spring.
Morales is only an ex-hero at pres
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Washington Bureau Age-Herald 14a @
street, N. W.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Cat shows are becoming quite popular.
One or two lady contestants who lost
hint that not all the cats attending are
on exhibition.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

SHOCKING.
Tho Polly has the softest heart,
/ couldn't help but scream
When | beheld the heartless way
In which she whipped the cream.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Having sailed away across the sea to
Europe, George AIDE may be able to write
a comedy about seasickness-after he
lands. PAUL COOh.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

Boys and girls are sliding on the Ice
up east About the only sliding we can
do down here is to backslide
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-23

A man who is now successful lawyer
in Alabama was once sent on a long
search for "Shakespeares Travels
Through Florida"
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-10-26
Press Comment on hover's
Candidacy.

H. A. Hover, while in Kiona
this week, made a good impression
upon the wheat farmers with whom
he talked. He advocates the man.
ufacture, by the state penitentiary,
of sufficient grain bags to supply
the demand, thus putting an effec-
tive curb on the unprincipled spec
ulators who this year took advan-
tage of the farmers necessity. Mr..
Hover also Intends to work for the
establishment of a branch of the
State Industrial Reform School in
this county, aud in short will stand
for anything that will do the lower
Yakima Valley the most good.
Mr.. Hover being a member of the
dominant party in the legislature
can do things for his own county
that a Democrat, however capable
and we'll meaning could not accom-
plish.- Enterprise.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-10-26
Two Weeks ago and Now.

The Bulletin in its issue of Oct.
4th quoted on its editorial page the
following from Hamilton speech
of acceptance. Mr.. Hamilton said:
IF am elected I shall do my ut
most to serve the people of the
county, but if am elected it will
be very difficult for me to accom-
pl'sh as much as someone of the op-
posing party might for the people
of the new county. 1t will be diff
hcult to do this because the next
Legislature, as was the last. will be
republican by large majority. As
democratic member will not be
in position to work with that ma
jority as member of the majority
party would" At that time the
Bulletin editor was making two or
three trips week to Kennewick
to connect with the Hover bar'l and
to climb into the Hover band wagon.
But since the Bulletin "has gone
democratic" in the exurbance of its
new faith it thinks it knows what
Hamilton can do better than Ham
ilton himself. He now takes the
ridiculous position that a democrat
minority member in q republican
legislature under republican state
and national administration can do
as much for his district as a repub-
lican of admitted equal ability
One time or the other the other the
Bulletin was wrong. Was it two
weeks ago or now? Who knows
the better what Hamilton can do,
Hamilton himself or Boardman
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-10-26
COMMERCIAL
CLUB DOlNCS

The special meeting of the CONNER
cial Club which was held Monday night
in the Anon Hall to discuss matters in
connection with the North Coast Rail-
way was favored with the largest at
tendance OF any recent meeting. Prior
to taking up the main question of the
evening fifteen new members were re-
ceived.
President George F. Richardson
stated fully the results and conclusions
of the conference between the railroad
committee and Chief Engineer F. L
Pitman and Mr.. Woods They desired
that certain options and waivers of
damages from certain property-holders
The committee informed him that the
committee could not secure them?
MIR. Pitman then suggested that the
options and contracts which had been
secured together with the subscription
list be turned over to the company and
that a meeting of the Club be held to
take this action and do anything fur
ther the club desired.
1t was moved and carried after long
discussion that copy of the subscrip-
tion list and copies of the contracts or
options be sent to the officers of the
company 1t was the feeling that all
that could be doue by the club and the
community had been done.
Superintendent o. L. Hanson called
up the question of establishing park
in the addition across the ditch south
of town. Everyone favored the park
idea and a committee of three, Edw.
Shepperd, Jas. A. Rose and o. L. Han
son was appointed to carry on the ne
gotiatians with the company for the
land.
The house committee, composed of
j. SercOmbe, Tom McKain and M. P.
Fuller, have been at work putting the
club room in the Anon Hall in shape
for permanent and commodious meet
ing place for the Club and it's members,
not only on the regular meeting nights,
| but on other evenings as we'll. A new
platform or rostrum has been built, and
a desk with suitable compartments to
file the papers and records of the club
has been purchased. Chairs, tables
and other needed furniture have been
put in place and in the near future the
! room will be carpeted. The room is
| spick and span in fresh paper and
paint and when lighted up in the eve-
ming with electric lights will afford a
delightful and attractive resort for the
membdrs and friends of the club.