The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
HUMOR OF TIE Day

Cholly Nitwit-D'ye know, Miss Cutter.
though I've only just met YOU. there
seems to be a-er-sort OF lnteHectaat
how to appeal to my tastes, you Know
Are you n literary women
Dolly Cutter-NO, I'm a kindergarten
teacher.-CIeveland Leader
1t was just at sunsetting that two lit
tie neighbors were exchanging confi-
NV mamma has begun a new story toe
day said Elsie. She has written TWEEN
Martha drew herself up proudly: Ny
mamma has hemmed ten, she declared
and she says they'll Il last Judge
The head Of the household was going
through her husbands pockets the ne2z1
what kept you out so late last night?''
she suddenly demanded a.. s,,.-,
my dear the lesser half replied
Well, it didn't take three corkscrews
And she drew the offending articles
from his sidepocket and waved them be-
fore him--CleEeland Plain Dealer
You started in life. believe, senator
said the reporter, "A poor boy.
Whoever told you that, young man..
answered Senator Lotsnlun, lies egTegi-
ously I was the latest boy of the fam
ily.''-Chicago Tribune
Il see that our friend has taken q hand
Il am not sure answered Senator sor-
it or merely put his foot in it. "-Wash-
ington Star.
"Jagley slept in the lookup, I believe.
Drunk and disorderIy. chr
''Sh! He says he was guilty OF arson
He thinks that sounds better. He was
burning his money, you know. '-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
McJigger-Ol she's a peach. Her hair is
positively pure gold and
Ihlngum bob-So they say ana can
understand it. I knew her when she was
a little girl
McJigger-W
ThingumbOb-WeH, it was merely plaIt-
ed then.-Philadelphia Press.
Travels-Yes I met Brtton in London
and shook hands with him.
er saw him before.
Travels didn't see him. was intro
duced to him in a fog.-Phiiadelphia
Press.
You are blackmaiIer.' declared the
gOaded capitalist, turning upon the agent.
Easy. easy replied the agent, bland
ly; you needn't shout about il. 1 guess
ger.
A man may drown his griefs in drink,
Or try to drown them if he choose.
But they'll come back an hundred fold
Also the bill for all the booze
Houston Post
7 saw Jack Rounder at a revival last
'9Great Scott Is he getting reIigious2'
Net exactly. 1t was revival of Sap
pho.'."-Cleveland Leader.
Have you made any especial study Of
political economy
Not yet answered Senator Sorghum.
but if the corporations hold out in their
resolutions not to contribute to campaign
funds I suppose III have to.''-Washing-
ton Star.
E;ve-There's no use talking, Adam I
can't take care of the children and do the
homework, too. You've got to get a girl.
suppose this is where lose another rib.
Puck.
Hicks-Is he rich?
Wicks-He must be. He has two auto
mobiles and steam yacht.-SomerviIle
Journal
Let me See" said the apple-cheeked
country girl as she entered the big de-
partment store, have you any sit-close
bOOks2''
'sit-close pooks'?'' echoed the clerk in
establishment What in the world are
why. er-famiy albums You see, I
have gentleman caller. Chicago News
A poor tramp who was compelled to
take bath in Cleveland the other day,
went crazy. What brand of baths do they
have in Cleveland?-BostOn Post.
7 don't suppose I'll get a chance to
make a speech for a long time" said the
new member of congress.
Maybe it's all for the best" answered
his eminently practical wife. MANY a
man s chances for reelection have been
Improved by silence. '-Wasnington Star.