The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-05-12


| going through the drawers of the
dresser, or attempting TO extract rev
enue from Fair OF trousers thai
never. even in the flGsh times, con
tanned more than street car fare.
am certain that no man has less cause
to fear an attempt at burglary than
| have.
do not believe In excepting any
quantity OF money about the house
it is foolhardy and unsafe AS soon
as we get any money ahead. my wife
and | always look around for a judi
cious investment.
We usually invest the bulk of It in
groceries, and lay the remainder out
for house rent. Yet know of nc
house that could be more successfully
burglarized than ours, nor one that
would pan ont less to the square
foot
had always thought that II
should be called upon to entertain a
burglar in my home during the small
hours in the back part of the night |
would do it in pleasant. offhand
manner | would insist on his not
doing a bungling job If there Is any
thing | hate to see it is poor work
manship. If | am TO be burelarzed
want TO be robbed in a thorough and
systematic manner, by man who un.
derstands his business and has a repu-
tation to sustain
Consequently. when | awoke a few
nights ago and saw man going
through the contents of the bureau
drawers. felt that at last the crucial
moment had arrived-at last | was
ia come face to face with real burg
lar
He was standing with his back to
me. and | raised up and and looked
him over. | was disappointed in him
lie was a cheap looking, low-browed
fellow. reasoned that his work was
light, clean and sufficiently lucrative
10 enable him at least TO dress like
q gentleman.
felt hurt and vexed that this weak
chinned individual should break into
my house did not like to be thrown
into contact with him felt that
his carly training must have been sad.
" neglected. and that we could have
nothing in common which would be
likely to make a meeting profitable
or congenial to either of us.
Still. since chance in the shape OF
rl- n
gcther, | felt that | must at least be
civil toward him Some men might
in moment of haste have sprung ND
and imretuously attacked the unwel.
come visitor have heard Of per-
sons trying this and never living to
regret it. felt longing TO keep him
from taking offense at any action on
my part. so | leaned over and asked
him if nc was a burglar and If could
be of any assistance 10 him in any
way.
He faced about and termed a six.
chambered burglars code Of laws on
me and remarked;
when gets through teTe you'll
think | am a burglar fast 'noug. and II
you don't keep quiet I'll splinter your
block"
why my man I remarked, not
needing his bluster your intrusion
will not disconcert me in the least
in fact. II is a matter of pleasure and
None OF your profes
sion has ever complimented me by
supposing that had anything worth
taking a risk on; that is why | was
afraid you might be an amateur"
Say now. said my guest, win
YOU lay there quiet and not try any
tricks on me. or shall tie YOU TO the
radiator while | tan the crib"
"If you don't care to have me as
5ist you I'll lie right here and If you
ind anything ! wish you would come
back and tell me- have never been
able to find any vauab.es in this |
house and If you can locate any III
write you testimonial to boom your
business and get you a good practice.
He left, locking the door after him 1
md / heard him rummaging through |
he lower part Of the house In about
lslf an hour he came back. He looked |
,uIlen and disappointed, and | felt I
.orry for him.
Say. look here" said he You've /
cot to shell out You've got your
uaar hid somewhere | have gon, /
through your clothes and everything /
n the house. and haven't even founc |
. pockctbook vet"
"You might look around here fo'
wo months and not find ono. tn
act S. my wife went through M
ust two days abca1 Of you She is
,ut in tho country now visiting he's
.ousin n you arc hunEry. YOU VIII /
ind some cheese and crackers down
n tne Kitchen. an sorry am no.
locked M for burglars There is nc
money in the house except 122 pennie-
n that toy bank over there: Il belongs
o the boy. but you might as we'll take
{. 60 will get broken into with
.afchet on Christmas. anyhow
NY burglar had the good sense Il
ppreciate the situation and de1arte4
is quietly as he had come. evidently
broken hearted man.
Tho next morning by jrdieious use
2 u, ,,afrbhnr's tplpuhOno ! had th5