The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-04-01
JOKERS WILL
GET BUSY TODAY
L Is April Fool and High and Low
Will Be in Ranks of
Victims.
RULES FOR "EASY MARKS"
CAUTIONS FOR THOSE WHO MAY
BE TEMPTED.

If the newsboy on the corner tells
you there is a spider on your ear or a
bug crawling on the top of your head
don't throw n fit. This is April !, bet
ter known IS ApriIs fools day.
If you are told that your handkerchief
is hanging out of your hip pocket, don't
believe it.
If the telephone rings and a strange
voice announces that your office is on
fire, don't run down town without any
hat, just go OF eating your breakfast.
If you see a $40 bill lying on the side
walk. don't try to pick it UP. Leave
IT alone and watch the fun when your
neighbor comes along. You may be
arrested for passing bad money but
it's safer.
Beware of the Hat.
IF you see a new silk hat laying on
the sidewalk. don't yield to the impulse
to kick it into the middle OF next week.
Leave that to Maud. Bricks ard flat
irons can't hurt her
If someone calls you up by phone
and tells you that he wishes to pay
that $40 he owes you, don't hurry
around to his office. He is out of town
and it's someone celebrating April l..
If your wife calls you up and tells
you to bring home some homeless waif
as she wishes to adopt an orphan,
don't hunt the streets for some little
beggar Your wife never had such an
idea and the person at the phone is
Miss Frivolous. the neighbours daugh-
ter.
If you receive a letter from President
Roosevelt appointing you ambassador
to the island Of Alaska" with an I'M
limited expense account and wages
fixed at S459.43 per week. don't pack
your best clothes into grip and start
for Washington Keep your job as a
brick layer.
Excitement Is Bad.
No matter what happens today. do
not become excited. All FOOLS day is
celebrated by those with a heart for
practical Jokes. The man of so and
the boy of s allow their original mis-
ChievOusness to play unrestrained. No
one is spared from the FRANKS of the
merry, rollicking bows of short trOuS-
ers and gray hair. The day originated
ages ago, and its life will extend into
the aces to come. Husbands will bite
into plump cookies to fird them stuffed
with cotton Tea will be sugared bv
innocent diners with salt. Meat will
be peppered with dust. Cherry pies
will swell and Duff with mineral paint
ard small pebbles.
Grandnas will find their snuff boxes
filed with sand. grandmas will COM
nIafn because their SpectaCIes seem to
he losing their efficiency not knowing
that playful gra rdcbildren have coat
ed the glasses with a thin coat of paint
Children will send TO each other bon
hon boxes VIA ped in pretty tissue pa,
nov and fned With sawdust. TeIe-
phones viii he used TO carry all kinds
Of ridiculous mesSa geS and renOrtS. The
business men will be Mortified to learr
that burglars have carried Sc. 600 worth
Of ulunder awav from his store. Doc
will be caued 70 attend patient'
living across the Jordan Mercba Mt;
Will receive orders for edib1es to be de
divorced at nOn-eXistiug residences. Few
win he SHARED nv the iOkers. The
bi~her and more dignifie6 a mans no
eitiOn. the P-raater jS the fun Of fOOlinI
him. Rag babies dressed in mislead
ing svvaddtino clothes viii be discov
cred by shocked bacbe'o~S on the
SoorsfeDS FFoicS will he placed n
threa teninC attitudes I'm the front yard
Of timid and hushapdless women.
Day is Safety Valve.
Halloween and April FOOLS day wer
invented to provide safety valves 70
those souls who are always simmer
ing Isnder an overload of energy. TIL
habit of celebrating the latter day b,
playing harmless pranks begins earl,
in life and retains its hold upon tn
Individual until life ends. AS no on
Is injured and suffers nothing NOR
than a temporary shock and overthrow
of dignity the day serves a good pur
pose in permitting the sun of jollit,
To peep into the dark and gray o
everyday existence
"A harmless joke every now and the
L raTiCbad nv the most staid of men