Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-05
Pi-LineS and Pick-UpS
"And President Mccall, He Put It
BackIU

"And President Mccall, He Put It
BackI"
(Our Popular Song Contest-XITI)
| lt was New Years in the life Insurance.
company:
The directors sat like dummies in their
| chairs;
You could sec tho look Of expectation
waning;
You could almost listen to their eager
airs!
| tNlinor here) a tapping came; the door
opened slowly;
trembling hand inserted thro' tho
! crack
ca tempo) a bunch Of money lay upon
the table
For President Mccall, he put 1t back!
CHORUS
Yes President Mccall, he put 1t back!
He took It from his own plethorlc steclsl
Twas in thousands, 2-S-5-
Hard against it he did strive.
But-President Mccall, he put It back!
j. II. Schiff of New York gave his
cook $4,000 for Christmas. Howd'ye like
to be the policeman?
i"C t'lHV dpIIOdCneS Wnen congress-
| man Nicholas Longworth will be merely
'the husband of Alice Roosevelt"
Maybe that Pittsburg butcher who
used Evelyn Nesbet-Thaws picture nut
II on hams. No one would blame her
for such reference to one Of the worst
features of her former profession.
When Bernhardt visits Texas that'I
give the state two lone stars.
Not Tonsorial Parlor
Down in Georgia they don't call them
| barber shops, as witness the following
want ad clipped from the Atlanta Con-
stitution:
WANTED17MEN AND BOYS TO PAT
ronize the cut rate Whiskeranium.
town. l5c razors honed, l0c Polka
Dot Front, NO. e. Mitchell street
The real smoke nuisance Is the cigars
your wife gave you Christmas, which
you can neither use nor give away.
Poppy Why is the ocean angry?
Pepper-Maybe because it's crossed so
much.
Because they will not use railroad
passes this year that's no sign con-
gressmen will swear off," They'll only
swear
Mrs. Corey insists on being treated
as Corey's wife. She'd get more If she
demanded that she be treated as Corey
did the chorus girl.
Odell might resolve now never again
to stand in front of the steam roller.
If they'd raise the duty on lime that
would discourage all this administra-
ton whitewash.
The Cheerful Liar says that when
somebody referred to st. Nicholas in
Miss Alice Roosevelt's presence the
other day. the young lady promptly re-
marked; why, / shouldn't call him
saint not by any means"
Bernhardt may be going to play
"Camille" in tent in Texas with the
idea that -"Camille"-needs the
fresh air for her consumption.
Christmas in Russia is just about
due. But it won't be a merry one.
Orange-Ever notice that most mind
readers are women?
Lemon-No, but you can easily see
that ali women are mind readers.
Now in order to agitate for asbestos
whiskers for Santa Claus next Christ
mas.
It's to be hoped Fitz and his wife
won't have a wordy war. a pugilist
and an actress--whew.
A Gentleman
The best eXtant definition of a gentle
man is "a man who never gives Of
I1.-ff
day Review.
Pennsylvania will erect statue to
Quay. It'll be a hard job carving the
plum tree.
A Pttsburg steel magnate has been
sued by a widow. Chorus girls all out?
Osler tells elderly men to keep spry
by seeking the society of younger ones.
Get out with the boys. eh?
A back east church has fire escapes
attached. How considerate!
You bet, the girls in Arizona and
New Mexico are against single state
hood!
Lunacy is decreasing i'm New York.
Becoming reconCiled to live there now?
California in Midwnter
Soft shines the sun, and golden;
Balmy the air, and fine.
Green are the hills and valleys.
Brightly the mountains shine.
Flower gemmed with rose and poppy
Poinsettia, glowing red;
Violet, Gala and pansy,
All their rich perfume shed.
Midwinter! Can you believe it?
Seems it not more like May?
Glorious southland of beauty,
Where June loves ever to stay!
Nv. III. @.
BLAME IT ON JAPAN
From the st. Louis Republic.
A consular report holds Japan respon-
sible for half the trouble that is now
1n hi6a and loo thor. t11nrlyat