davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1906-09-15

the lousv club devils would 90
from the house, hanging their
heads and saying, "I'm fool. |
set there and laughed at that
raskel. Do you know why | made
you laugh For the same reason
that the follow gave the sick dog
chloroform: so he could keep him
still while he took his medi-
cine"
He paid an extensive tribute
to himself, saying that he has
preached more sermons and to
more people than any other man,
dead or alive, in the worlds
history. All the preachers here,
he said will admit that the de vii
is in this town, but no two of
them can agree as to how to git
him out. The Methodist preacher
will say Let's ride him out on a
rail. " The Presbyterian: "Breth.
rem, let's do all things with de
cency and in order;' the Bap.
lists: "Let's take him to the river
and drown him." and the Epis-
copalians "Gentlemen, if you
run the devil out of this town
my members will be 80 lonesome
| can't do a thing"
He happened to think of a
pug-dog woman.
"When the lord gives a man a
good wife and Is or 20 chillun,
he blesses that man; but when
the devil gives a man a woman
and poodle dog, he just throws
off on him don't like the poo.
dle-dog woman nohow. No wo-
man who kisses poodle dog can
kiss Sam Jones. Pm not much
on kissin' women, nohow. If l
had a poodle dog woman for a
vile and she took that poodle
out driving and wouldn't take
me, l would go back home and
ask about nay wife, and say,
Where is it?'" He made a fine
pass al the Mormons, and erupt-
ed some eloquent "partin'
words
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1906-09-15
Army w in York Coun-
ty.

Yorkville Enquirer Mr.. Georgel
s. Williams advised the reporter
this morning that the army worm
has made it's appearance in large
numbers in the Fllbert neighbor-
hood. He saw it on the lands of
j. A. Walker, eolored, and was
advised that it was also to be
seen on the lands of Messrs. ID.
M. Hall and Felix Quinn. The
worm is about an inch long,
marked with stripes and looks
like caterpillar. There are
myraids of them, and they are
cleaning the ground of grass un-
til it looks as if nothing had
ever grown there. Mr.. Williams
doesn't think that any of the
growing crops are in danger.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1906-09-15
Orangeburg Collegiate Institute

will begin its fall session on Wednes-
day Sept. 18th We have healthful
location. are well equipped, and have
first class facu'ty. Departments OF
art, music, elocution, cooking, sewing,
etc. Only few more boys and girls
can be accommodat Send at once
for n catalogue and application blank.
W :. PETERSON, Pres,
Orangeburg, =. G.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1906-09-15
Sample Of the Kind of Stuff
He Handed Out to the Tar
Heels this Week, under the
Auspices of the Charlotte
Chautauqua.

'sintroduced" Sam Jones.
Sam, with a half tired, COM
pletely droll manner came to the
foo lights and looked meditative,
ly over the house.
"We will now," he said, shave
a selection from my wife's first
husbands (Laughter.) am like
Pat, l hope I'll never live TO see
my wife married again"
He told the story Of a devil
who married woman and lived
with her 20 years, they working
together and accumulating pro
porty. Then she dies, and be-
fore IL months that devil begins
to notice. He gets him rubber
tired buggy and fine horse, and
and rides that woman all about.
Pretty soon the old house is roll
ed back and a new house built,
and then there's a wedding.-
There are two servants, where
there wasn't any before. Sam
said that if they ever heard of his
doing that way they might break
his neck. Continuing: Il al.
ways did think woman ought to
make her children respect her
first husband. Of course | don't
care what she does with the 9TH
er devil"
81 am goin' to talk tonight on
Comm Some | never tried it
before, but l thought I'd try it
here. This audience will do to
practice on. That's why l like
to come to Charlotte. it don't
strain me to talk to you or listen
you, | always 90 away from
here perfectly rested"
He discussed the chautauuua
movement, saying that the name
means sack tied in the middle.
He repeated the definition sew
eral times. 81 just say this for
your intormation," he explained,
with fine irrelevancy. "The
chautauqua is a compro mise be
tween the old Methodist camp
meeting and the county fair
There amt enough religion left
for "a campmeeting, and the peo-
pie are tired of the old cow and
the punkin." Apropos of the
scarcity OF religion he said that
the preachers are not to blame :;
they do the best they can with
the material they have to work
on. "You feed your preacher on
wheat straw the year round, and
tap him up, and expect him to
make it in 2 DO. Our good broth
er last night gave you some
straight goods about the ciga-
rettes. He didn't talk about
them as would, but he showed
he would il he could" A moth.
er once asked Sam what to do
about her sons smoking cigar
etts. GLOW old is he :" Sam
inquired Six" she said -
Take him out in the back yard
and wiring his neck " Sam com
nanded.
"There amt a church in this
town that hasn't got them lousy
iayiIs tho man, hare nf that .I,,l
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1906-09-15


club. And you claiming 10 be
the chillun of God and on your
way home!
"But | don't want to make
you club fellers mad, for l amt
a goin' to fight you. Pm about
you like the feller who started
off 10 commit suicide and mad
bull made at him and he ran
! from the mad bull. A locker on
asked him, why did you run
from the bull, if you wanted to
die" But he says, Il reckon
I've got my choice as TO how Pm
goin' to die"
"Now | know some of you
don't like Sam Jones's style"
he admitted, "but | do, and who's
running this thing-you or
me?"
He said he would talk straight
at them if they rode him out Of
town of rail, and if they did
so, he would say to them, "Gen-
tlemen, I'd as soon walk but for
the honor OF the thing" He has
been criticised for preaching out
of the Bible. But you fellers
are out of the Bible yourselves,
and ] must go out of it to hit
you fellers." If anybody is not
satisfied with Sam he will reply
as the negro Baptist preacher
did to the Methodist niggers,
who were looking on at his bap-
tizing. He said, Breddern, 'mer-
sion is the only Bible way to
baptize." "How does you know
dar?' said the Methodist niggers,
"Dat amt none er yo' business"
retorted the preacher.
He touched on politics, say
ing that "Roosevelt is the best,
truest, bravest President this
country has had from Washing.
ton down, and I've been around
some, too. I've been around
more than you and all your peo-
pie back to Adam" But Roose.
welt nor any other candidate for
the Presidency, except the Pro-
hibitionist, will fight liquor.
"But Ill fight that whiskey
gang. Pll hit 'em as long as I've
got arms, kick 'em as long as
I've got feet, bite 'em as long as
I've got teeth, and then gum
'em ~
The humorlst then took a
whirl at the Apostles Greed,
saying that the apostles had
been in heaven three centuries
before the creed was draughted.
But you say, I'VE thought the
apostles got that thing up Your
ignorance is the most charming
thing about you"
He recurred then 10 politics,
declaring, II think the devil
will git every Democrat and
every Republican in the United
States, but, thank God, he won't
git much" Continuing on poll
tics "They're doin' their best to
git Teddy to run. Then Bryan
will run. He loves to run. He
don't care whether he is elected
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1906-09-15
Notice.

The next regular teachers examination
will be held at Lancaster G. H., begiun ing
at o'clock Al. m. Friday, September 81 st.
1906. w. NJ. MOORE,
County Supt. Education.
Sept. !, 1906.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1906-09-15
ClaremOnt College
HICKORY, n. G..

~ ".
The 26th session begins on Sept. IS.
Thorough college course by able fac
ulty Two scholarships to be given
in each department to deserving girls,
in Library Course, Piano, Voice, Vio-
lin, Drawing, Painting, ElocutIon,
Physical Culture, StenOgrsphy, Type
writing and Bookkeeping. Pu blic
school drawing in normal course. For
catalogue apply to
ID w. READ, Pres't.,
Hickory, 4, G..
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1906-09-15

Tho NaWc Does Jo6 Printing
luU NUNO for others. Why
can't we do yours? ~? ??2
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1906-09-15

STATE OF SOUTB CAROLINA,
COUNTY OF LANCASTER,
In the Probate Court,
BY j. + Stewman, Esquire,
Probate Judge
Az herens, J. p. ALLISON, of Lancas-
w ter Co, said State. has made suit to
me TO grant him Letters of Administration
# ;liU Estate Of and effects of L. T.. Allison
deceased.
THESE ARE THEREFORE,, to cite
aud admonish all and singular the kindred
and creditors Of the said X. + ALLISON,
deceased, that they be and appear before
me, in the Court of Probate, to be
held at Lancaster Court House, on the
18th day OF Sept. next, after publca.
tion hereof, at ! | o'clock in the forenoon, to
show cause. if any they have, why the said
Administration should not be granted.
Given under my hand this 4th day of
Sept, Auno Domiui, 1906.
J. T.. STEWMAN,
Probate Judge.
Sept. 4, 1906
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-11-08

years he has lived in Arkansas and he is willing to I've the remainder of his days on her soil.
 Capt. P. H. Wheat has the beautiful custom of remembering the Sunday schools of the town on his birthday and contributing a penny for each year of his life to each of them. On Oct. 24, Capt. Wheat passed the S3rd milestone on life's pathway and on the fol- lowing Sunday he contributed the number of pennies mentioned, add ing a note to God for his many blessings.
 George Moore Trimble, the son of Judge and Mrs. T. C. Trimble, departed this life on the 27th day of October, 1906.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-11-08
NOTICE.

Bv virtue of su order of the County Court oi Faulkner County, Arkansas, made on Octooei Isth. IoOo, in the matter of the establishment and construction of Ditch in Drainage D1s- trict Number Two of Faulkner County, Arkan- sas; Notice is hereby given that the sale or tne : construction of the Ditch in said Drainage DIS trictNurnber Two of Faulkner County ,Ark ansas' nd of the clearing of the right-oi-way tneIe- of will be made at public outcry to the lowest Ie snonsible bidder at the office ot the Couuty CIerk of Faulkner County, Arkansas, m tne Conrt house in the City of Conway, ATkansas' .on Monday. the ioth day of November, I*o The begiuning point, route and terminus ot sal9 bitch and said right of-wsy to be so eonstrucleo in Drairase District Number Two of fauiknel County. Arkansas. will appear specifically oe scribed in Book NuInbeTll3, Pages 599 10 @Io ol inc Records of the County Court Of Faulk neI County. Arkansas; and the prohles and specih- cations of said Ditch to be constructed ana the right -ot-way to be cleared is on file in the ofhce of the County Clerk of Faulkner County, Arkan- sas subject to ip spection. The entire construc- ton of said Ditch and clearing of said right of way will be let and sold in solido. Bidders will be required to give bond as provided by law. C.. H. Burr, Civil Engineer, will superintend the sale and letting of said contract and will receive the bids for same.
 Given under my hand and seal as Clerk of the County Court of Faulkner County, Arkansas, on this 18th day of October, lSo.
 LII HARTJE, St. Clerk Of County Court of Faulkner County.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-11-08
BORDER COUNTY NOTES
 NEWS OF OUR NEIGHBORS, COLLECTED FROM
 THE COLUMNS OF OUR EXCHANGES.

children to his son, Gull Brazil, al Hartshorn, 1. T., to take care of Their mother died recently and lief, twin babies few hours old, and having no one who could care fol them, their grand father took them to his son and family to raise.
 MT. John Richardson late oi Hallstead. Pulaski county, has To- cated here-buying the farm and residence of C.. H. James west of town. He gave James SIooo for the land, crop and stock. We welcome Mir. Richardson to our county, and hope he may prosper in his new home. MT. James moved to the Geo. Gregory place, which has been occupied by his son-in-law Mark Hickman, and will buy another farm near town we learn.
 The new county officers through out the state have taken the oath of office and entered upon the dis charge of their duties. Among the new ones to begin their two years term was MT. John Oliver, as sheriff, who succeeds w. R. Shel- ton. MT. Oliver has served as sheriff before and made an excel lent officer. The other officers hold over and succeed themselves. In many of the townships new justices of the peace were elected, but we have not yet learned their names.
 We learn that Ben Bernhardt will rebuild a 25-room hotel at Fourche on the site of the one recently burn. ed. A contractor named J. D. Joy of Little Rock has the contract and is to have the building com pleted in 60 days. The building will be a first class structure with modern furnishings and is to cos about $6ooo.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-11-08
BEEBE.
From the News. november 1.

fTom the NeWs, NONelnDer
 Miss Ora Maxwell returned last week from a visit to relatives and friends at Conway.
 Beebe is not dead; she is just taking a little nap preparatory to a great expansion.
 Rev. M. B. Umstead, of New port has purchased the Cole resi- dence and will take possession about the first of next year.
 On last Thursday at Philadelphia, MT. T. E. Baldock of Searcy and Miss Nina Harris of Beebe were married. Both the bride and groom have a host of friends here who join the News in wishing them peace, happiness and prosperity.
 Cotton growers i'll this vicinity are wondering why 1t is that buy CTS ill surrounding towns pay more for the fleecy staple than those in Beebe. Reports reach Us from a half to three -fourths of a cent more is being paid for this product at other places than here and the con- sequence is our town is rapidly losing trade that rightfully belongs to it. This matter should be in vestigated at once.
 Col. w. H. Ranes of Ranes was in the city last Saturday and in- formed the News that within the past ten days he had sold SSo acres of land lying in the vicinity of his home, GOO acres was sold to John Vorhees, of Springfield, Ill.,, who expects to put up saw mill on the place, and 2So acres to Messrs. Bradley and Morley, two Iowa gentlemen who will use their tract for farm.
 The horrible condition of the roads leading to Beebe is costing the town thousands of dollars of trade every year. It has not been so very long since the business of Mt. Vernon and vicinity came here, but bad roads turned 1t to another place. And so we might mention other neighborhoods where the people, to avoid pulling their teams through mud holes have turned their trade to other points. It is now a condition and not a theory that confronts the business interest of this town.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-11-08

C. E. Davis of Centerville has accepted position with H C. liar key and is now a full-aedged Casa ite. We are glad to have Claude with us, as he is an industrious and gentlemanly fellow.
 We are extremely sorry to learn of the death of little Hubert Brazil, son of MT. and Mrs. K. V. Brazii of Houston, which occurred week before last. To the bereaved par ents we extend our most sincere sympathy.
 Dr. l. T. Fleming, formerly oi Ouitman has located at this place, he and his family having arrived here Wednesday. Mir. Fleming IS a physician of ability and we wei come him and his estimable family to our little town.
 Mir. Ballinger, who lives on Mar win Brimmage's place near Divide, drove into town yesterday Wltn TWO bales of cotton on his wagon and as he was driving up Railroad Avenue, the east bound passenger came along, which frightened his mules. causing them to run away, throwing him out. The wheels of the heavy laden wagon ran over his right thigh crushing the bone in horrible manner. MT. Railing CTS cries soon brought Uncle Tom Higgins who runs a blacksmith shop near where the accident oc- cured, who quickly summoned help and he was carried to MT. A. C.. Chronister where Drs. Sweet and Fleming dressed and set the brok- en limb. MT. Ballinger is getting along as we'll as could be expected.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-11-08
CLINTON.
From the Journal, November E.


 I. NJ. Ruff has finally sold his farm to Garner Fraser and Sam Lay and will move to Lanty, Con- way county, where he will engage in the mercantile business.
 Dr. Dickens reports a fine new boy at the home of Steve Dodge. All doing we'll and Steve wearing an extra smile.
 Dr. Miligan says Bob O'Neal and wife are the happiest people in the country-a new boy the cause-arrived last night.
 Mrs. Drew Thompson, wife of l. B. Thompson. died at their home at Dennard Tuesday evening about five o'clock. They had lived in Clinton about Is years and only recently moved to Dennard and had many warm friends here who sympathize with the bereaved husband and children. She had been in poor health for some time and her death was not wholly un- expected yet 1t was a great shock to many of her friends.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-11-08
PERRYVILLE.
From the News, November }.

At meeting of the stockholders of the Bank of Perryville, this week they located the bank in the frame store south of the court house known as the Price drug store. They have purchased 1t and will put in a new front and make other needed improvements. The fur nishings for the bank have arrived and will be placed in the building and the bank opened in few days.
 We learn that Jack Rankin, who has been clerking for Geo. Gates, will be one of Sheriff Divers dep- nties, and will enter ar once upon his duties as such, vice o. R. Falls, who will take Mir. Rankin's place in the store.
 Born, to MT. and Mrs. John L.. Hill, of this place, a daughter all reported to be doing we'll. MT. Hill says he has two pair, for he has two girls and two boys.
 Sheriff Shelton, as public admin istrator, Saturday sold house and lot east of the brick store, belong ing to the late Wm. Barnett, for $Ioo to Geo. Gates. The lumber cost more than that and was worth $25o or $500. It was south of the court house and known as the Price store.
 Last week Uncle Joe Brazil took two of his little motferless grand
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-11-08
MORRILTON.
From the Democrat, November 20.

From the Democrat, November 20.
 Claude Powell is here packing his household goods preparatory to moving to Conway.
 From October 3I, 1905, to Oc- tober 31, Ioo6, County Clerk Spires issued 3r3 marriage license, or just one for each working day.
 c. Nj. Gilbert, who recently came here and opened up laun- dry, used up all his soap and went ont with the studs Wednesday night. Just what else went with him we are not advised. He may be invited to return by an officer.
 John H. Kissire, doing business in the east end of town filed vol untary petition in bankruptcy Tuesday evening. His assets are about $I5,ooo and the liabilities are about $2o, 900.
 Mir. and Mrs. A. C. Cribbs were over from Oppelo "Wednesday lay ing in their big lot of supplies. MT. Cribbs informed us that he had just sold five head of hogs that were only 10 months old and re- ceived 800. % for the lot. This is so far ahead of cotton that con- parison is out of the question.
 Rev. Neal called Wednesday and presented us with boquet of lilac blossoms that he had grown in Mrs. L. H. Alleys yard in the west part of town. This is the second time they have bloomed this year, and it is regarded as a very odd occurrence as they are supposed to bloom only in the early spring.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-11-08
CASA.
From the Democrat, November


 Sunday evening, October 2S at at I 80 o'clock, Mrs. Minnie Law renee died after an illness of four weeks. Mrs. Lawrence was born in Conway county on Dec. Y, 1876. Mrs. Lawrence has resided at this place for a number of years and was we'll and favorably known by almost every one ill the town and surrounding country. She leaves a husband, three children, one a little babe only four weeks old; father, mother, one brother and two sisters and a number of other rel atives to mourn her death. She was laid to rest in the Casa ceme- tery Monday afternoon, Bro. T. H. Higgins conducting the funeral services.
 Mir. Robt. Scott and others of New Tennessee township have been engaged this week in hauling a quantity of walnut timber from that place here for shipment. It will go to a firm ill Hamburg, Ger many. This same car load of logs, if after it has been worked up should be sent back here 1t would take a small fortune to pay for it.
 One of Dr. Frost's sons who re- sides near Birta had the misfortune to cut his foot very badly one day this week. Dr. J. T. Fleming dressed the wound and he is get ting along nicely.
 Rev. J. B. Stevenson, presiding elder of this circuit preached, here last Friday night. He IS an excel lent preacher, and delivered one of the finest sermons ever heard in Casa.
 Walter Hill has moved to the Bison property, which he recently purchased from M. F. Reid who is now postmaster at Adona. Walter is one of our best and most enter prising young men, and we are glad to see him succeeding.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-11-08
LONOKE.
From the Democrat. November 1.

Prof. G. C. Hardin of DeValls Bluff, principal of the public school at that place, visited friends here Monday evening. Mir. Hardin has recently been appointed coun- ty examiner of Prairie county.
 Judge and Mrs. H. T. Bradford will move into their residence in the southwest part of town this week. They have resided in Lit tie Rock since Judge Bradford $ election to the office of commis- sioner of mines, manufacture and agriculture, but he has always claimed this as his home and at the expiration of his term of office made immediate preparation to re- turn to Lonoke.
 ]. ]. Evans returned Saturday to his home near Cabot after a week S visit to his daughter, Mrs. Newby. He is S7 years old and has been a resident of this county since IS44, having moved here from Georgia at that time. He was enlisted in the Confederate army during the Civil War, being in Capt. James Kings company, which was com- posed mostly of Lonoke county men all of whom made a memora- ble record at the Battle of Oak Hill, Mo. MT. Evans says he has had splendid health most of the 6
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-11-08
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.

Department of the Interior, Land Office al Little Rock, Ark,
 October H. 1906
 Notice is hereby given that the following named settler has filed notice of his intention to make final proof in support of his claim, and that said proof will be made before the county clerk of Faulkner county Arkansas, at Conway, Arkansas, on December l. 1906, viz: Amanda Allen, widow of Elias Allen tdeceased), H. E. No. 249ll for east half of southeast quarter and southwest quarter of southeast quarter section 27, township north, range l4 west.
 He names the following witnesses to prove his continuous residence ,upon and cultivation of said land. viz:
 Jerry Cohn, of Conway, Ark; John Mason, of Conway, Ark; Hamilton Moore, of Conway, Ark; Wm. Manley, of Conway, Ark. 8-ot H. H. MYERS. Register.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-11-08
Tt Knocks the Itch.

It may not cure all your ills, but it does cure one of the worst Ii cures any form of the itch ever known-no matter what 1t is called, where the sensation is itch" it knocks it. Eczema, Ringworm and all the rest are relieved at once and cured by one box. It's guaranteed, and its name is Hunts Cure. At