The Washington herald., 1906-12-16


His fellow eFeTy man should treat
As il he WeTG 4 brother.
And greatly 'twould eouduce 20 peace
II all the high and aTest would cease
From SAYING You're another.
Sometimes I wonder why people hit
upon the particular professions they IN
sist on choosing, says a member Of Con
gress from Illinois. Individual fitness
doesn't seem TO have much to do with
It. I was extremely busy in my Office In
my home city one morning last year
when my Office boy came In with a re-
porter's card. I had only a minute to
spare but told him TO show the man IN,
1t was a pink-faeed, timid-looking young
man. and as he stood in the door he
bowed and began:
'C-c-c-an-c-c-an- then he stopped and
began all over agin.
'C-c-an 1 s-s-s-ee you abb the b
almost threw him into FITS. I never heard
a man stammer so in all my life. He was
wasting my time yapping at me in that
way, and It was more than could stand
What are you. any way?' / snapped,
a reporter or WHAT
"He looked at me mOurnfuliy and made
a desperate effort TO control his voice
I-a-Tm an e-elocutionist he said
I never thought so highly of the intel
ligence Of dogs as have since one even
ing last week, said Mr.. John Farhake,
New York lawyer, who has been spend
ing a few days here. Il was walking
along one OF the numbered streets in the
thirties with a friend when we heard
dog whining and barking. He was evil
IDENTIFY trying to get in a door across the
street. and he was making q tremendous
fuss about IT, He jumped up ana down,
bowling mouTnfuliy. and holding one hurt
paw carefully out of harm's way. We
watched till somebody came and let him
in. and then / recognized the house. II
was the Ride-a-We home Cor lost and
friendless cats and dogs Perhaps the
dog had been there before anyway. he
knew where 10 go when he needed shelter
and an injured foot dressed"
Setting down the word fuss" makes me
remember that your genuine Bostonian
uses it in a way which is strange TO those
of US who weren't brought up to cele-
brate Sunday with beans When We say
a fuss we mean more or less OF com
motion. t0-do about something and
when We fuss We quarrel, or at least
speak our minds plainly. When your
Yankee says he's been fGssng about a
thing. he means that he's been worrying
about It. or that it has engaged his mind
rather seriously. A man from Yankee
land wrote TO me the other day and told
me Of his engagement. You know, I've
been fussiRg about Julia for a year" he
said II he'd been q Washingtonian I
should have assumed that possibly his
mother or his elder sister didn't want him
20 marry Julia Julia would have ap-
peared 10 have been a bone Of cOnten-
ton. Since he is a Yankee, and I've
heard Yankees talk, know that what he
wishes me TO understand is merely that
Julia has been on his mind for a year
Julia has worried him more or less for
that length of time. Il Is a very great
help, IL one means 20 travel about these
United States at all. 10 understand the
Language as IL Is locally spoken. I recall
a time IN a Kentucky town when a new
conner mOrtally insulted the mother of
the most remarkable baby IN our street
by saying the child looked cunning"
Cunning was a word no Kentucky mother
cared TO have applied to her guileless and
innocent child. Ii went, we understood,
with foxes and sneak thieves, and the
Yankee newcomer was by no means pop
ular till she learned the Kentucky Ian
guage well enough TO make US under
stand that what she really meant was
that the baby was cute"
All local differences Of speech will be
done away with. I suppose. when every
body takes 10 speaking Esperanto. II
seems 20 me that half the people know
are engaged IN studying that universal
language. One woman assures me that
she can TeCite POc's Raven" in il. and
for all I know, she actually did It before
ny very ears. She saws it is IN amazingly
easy language 10 learn; and that reminds
me Of a story Miss Katharine AIulkns,
OF the Brown OF Harvard" Company
told me the other day. I came upon her
as she was engaged in writing 10 the edi-
tor Of a magazine which is about TO pub
Esh a sketch of her, 10 ask him kindly TO
refrain from saying that she is Euro
pean by birth.
I've been called Austrian or French
for nearly year now she said. and
all because / assumed on one occasion
that certain press agent might possibly
be able TO see joke with the naked eye.
He was sent 10 get some data about my
self for the inevitable advance notices a
management always sends out at the be-
ginning Of the season. and. seeing some
Esperanto lesson leaves lying on my desk
he asked me what they were. I told him.
and then I had 20 go on TO explain to him
what Esperanto Is. I was immensely in
interested in II. just then, and I grew
very enthusiastic over It.
It's so wonderfully easy to learn I
said. Why, I've been studying II only a
month and l can read and write it fluent
ly. It's so much easier than English. I
was in America nearly a year before ]
could speak a word Of English.
hat'swhy he has been calling me some
times Austrian and sometimes French
ever since, and it's why managers always
ask me II I am perfectly sure I won't
have foreign accent IN emotional
scenes Ny poor wee joke didn't pene-
trate. After this I'm going 10 have print
ed on my cards. Born in America"
Miss MuIkins has. by the way, super
stitious practice which I am quite sure
I've never seen any other woman follow
Her powder puff fell TO the floor while
she was telling me about Esperanto and
she did not move d finger TO pick Il UP.
She simply bowed her head-and,. mind
you. she didn't bend her knees the
slightest bit-and picked II up with her
teeth. For luck" she explained. Some
unfortunate disaster would certainly be-
fan her, she said, laughing If she picked
UP a powder puff in any other way. I real
ly hope there's no good reason for the
practice. We are all so pitifully liable
10 drop our powder pun. and II they were
so many Kohinoors, most Of US couldn't
bend over that way and pick them up
with our teeth For my part. I'd rather
live all my life with a mere chamois
skin, instead Of a powder puff. rather
than feel that at any moment I might
have 70 save myself from calamity bv