The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-10-17

WV Va WV AA JANA AW A0
sympathy it's all In the way of graft
and can't be blamed. 1 have no recol-
lection of any such incident as you
name. We have owned horses and
cows"
EYES,"
you have had every opportunity of
studying them both"
Il remember when n Of our cows
kicked you over, and when n of the
horses ran away with you"
And you are pr bably sorry l didn't
get killed. However. can you tell me If
bothliedown and get up the same way?"
Il should say they cid. If they
don't, what of it?'
"What Of it? II you 60 to the store
to buy tea and they give you catnip,
what Of it? A horse neighs and a
COW bellows, and you might as we'll
ask what Of it. Can you answer
the question l asked your"
"They both lie down and get up the
same way"
"They do nothing of the sort. A
horse sinks down behind and q COW
In front. A horse rises on his front
legs and a COW IN her hind ones. If
a lady should ever call here
I'VE shall talk about the heather,
probably, instead Of horses and cows"
"But why do these animals lie down
and get up in different ways" per-
sisted Mr.. Bowser <. "You should learn
for your own benefit"
I'm sure l don't know"
Ways Of Horse and Cow.
"Then l will proceed to inform you.
A COW sinks down on her knees first
that she may examine the grass and
see If there are any bumblebees' nests
around. \ horse sinks down behind
first that he may take a last look at
the clouds and see what the weather
Is to be. In rising a cow is still looking
for those nests. nd the horse wants to
know il there is going to be a thunder
storm that day. I ask no credit for
what l am telling you, though it has
cost me many years Of observation.
For instance, how many persons in
this town could tell you why cows and
horses switch their tails?"
"They do it to keep the flies off, Of
course"
"I1a, ha, ha! That vas the very an
swer l expected 1t is the very one
most people would give, and yet it's
wrong. The tail switching Is an in
voluntary motion and Is practiced
when there isn't a fly within a mile.
Let a man stand still, and he will put
his hands into his pockets. Let him
sit down, and he will cross one leg
over the other. These are things you
should think Of. Mrs. Bowser. Any
time you want to ask me any ques-
tons about natural history r.
Mrs. b. Asks Questions.
Il want to ask a couple now. How
many teeth has a horse, and why has
a COW teeth only on one jawT'
Mr.. Bowser vas bowled over in a
minute, but he didn't stay bowled. He
rallied and answered:
"A horse has thirty teeth, and any
fool knows that a COW has teeth on
both jaws"
THE male horse has fourteen teeth
and the female only twelve, Mr.. Bow
ser, while the COW has teeth only on
n Jaw, and that is the lower one.
Can you tell me why this is so?"
Because 1t isn't. 1t isn't so within
forty rods"
"But it is. Any veterinary surgeon
or work On anatomy will tell you So"
woman, don't try any tricks on
me-" shouted Mr.. Bowser as he turned
red and white. II sit down here this
evening to give you a few lessons In
natural history, and you try to turn the
whole thing into sarcasm. You talk of
confederation. will now go out and
get such proofs that l am right and
you are wrong as will bury you right
out Of sight. BY thunder, but you have
cheek
Mr.. Bowser went to the butcher and
was told that Mrs. Bowser was right.
He went to Il livery stable and was
told the same thing. He went to a
grocer. who had been a farmer. and
was sat down on some more. AS a
last resort he visited his family drug
gist and got It In the neck again. and
the druggist added:
"Rowser. make Il thorough Job of it
and find out how many teeth an ass
has got"
Hc left the store boiling over and
seeing red. but salvation was at hand.
A boy and Il w~heelbarrow came run
ming down the sidewalk at Il o:4O gait,
and rs Mr.. Rowser didn't get cut of the
way he was struck by the wheel and
rolled into the street. and when assist
ed home by two kind pedestrians he
knew that Mrs. Bowser's solicitude for
his welfare would prevent her having
another word to say about horses or
COWS. NJ. QUAD.
One C0nlfnH.