The sun., 1906-12-23
kARS. RUBBERINO ON
lVl CHRISTMAS BRAGS.
Complains That All the Women
Are Boosting and That James
Will Defend Them.

well Of all the holiday airs some Of the
women around here are putting on!" said
Mrs. Rubberino to her husband. THAT
Keenclip woman upstairs received about
a bale Of mistletoe by express to-day She
stuck it all over her fat, and then she rushed
breathlessly down here to have me 60 up
and look at it. She had the funny nerve
TO tell me that the mistletoe had been sent
to her from her fathers plantation near
Bayou ST. Louis in louisiana Wouldn't
that make a cat shriek9 Her fathers
plantation in louisiana! Why, 1 don't
believe the silly thing ever saw louisiana
in her life.
"She doesn't talk a bit like a Southern
woman. Once in a while she makes a stab
at it and says 'kee-ah' for car but in the
very next breath she says car just like
all the rest Of us. mentioned that TO her
some time ago, and she had the impudence
to say that she'd been living among Yankees
80 long that her pronunciation had be-
come contaminated. Yankeesl She talks
just as much like an Ohio woman as do
myself, and I'm not making any bones
about it that I'm from Ohio.
That Erenclip woman's mistletoe may
have come from Louisiana all right-Fm
told that you can buy 1t down there for
about a quarter a carload, and the amount
she received Of it would cost about million
dollars in New York-but the idea of her
trying 70 work of that highfalutin' hum
bug about her fathers plantation near
Bayou st. Louis on mel I'll bet she sent the
money to some dealer in mistletoe down
there that she heard about just for the
sake OF trying to put il over the rest Of
us here. She wanted to give me an arm
full of the mistletoe, but l told her that
didn't care for the stuff, that il was messy
and Uttered up the rugs when it began to
dry up and fall apart, and that preferred
holly wreaths, anyhow. wasn't going
to let her unload a lot OF her trash on me
and then go about all over the place and
tell the other women that she'd given me
some Of the mistletoe from her fathers
Louisiana plantation TO decorate my fiat
with-not much, / wasn't
whats that? Keenolip is a well known
old aristocratic name in louisiana James
Rubberino, you know just as well as that
you're sitting in that chair that you are just
inventing that. I'd like TO know what there
is aristocratic about Mrs. Keenolip. She has
the biggest coarsest hands of any woman
/ ever saw. I'll bet she wears a seven and
a half glove. And her feet are as big
as mudscows. Aristocratio. indeed And,
although she has a servant she does her
own cooking! l suppose that's aristo-
cratic? What's that? All Of tbs royal
princssses of Europe are taught how to
oook2 James Rubberino, it's a mighty
strange thing that you are perpetually fight
ing tooth and nail for these women around
here every time | say word about any
of 'em. What is your object in defending
Mrs. Keenclip, anyhow You're always
taking up for her, every time l 10 much az
open my mouth about her Stiffness. | know
that you're a perfect noody-naddy about
these huge, blowsy, blowy blondes like Mrs.
Keenclip, but that doesn't excuse your
browbeating and bulldozing your own wife
on account OF them, and I'm getting mighty
tired of it, deed ami Ii was only the other
day that you were taking up for that Git
mine woman on the 2oor below, and
-0h, she was In here to-day, too, Dragging