Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-01-27
MIXED IDEN Titles


A month or SO ago a luckless hotel cook
from Buffalo. N. T.. who knew not the
difference between disappearing gum
carriage and a little red school house.
found himself military prisoner at Govern
or's Island. New York harbor, awaiting
a general court-martial on the charge OF
deserving from the regular army The
hotel cook was the victim Of the sardonic
humor of sure-enough regular army sol
der at New York state army post. The
ure-enough soldier, who was on the point
of deserving, and only deferred from
Jumping. because he had no suit OF civil
ian's clothes, met up with the cook, who
was on jamboree, at the town near MS
post The two foregathered and, when the
cook was quite helpless from his libations.
the sure-enough soldier simply took tne
cooks clothes and left his own for the COOK
to don upon coming to- The COOK, having
no other toys, had to put on the soldiers
uniform, and drifting down to New YORK
in that rig, he was corfalled Tor oesertion
and taken over to Governors Island 10
await Identification. He fingered there Tor
a couple of weeks before the Bertillon OF the
sure-enough soldier who had deserted was
received at the post The Bertfilon cnaIt'
OF course, didn't agree with the, measure
ments, moles and marks on the COOK
frame. and he was turned loose, waning
over his depressing experience.
All of which recalls some other INCL
dents Of that kind that occurred before the
adoption by the army and navy OF the
Bertillon system of measurement.
A typical case was that Of Jim Haynes OF
San Francisco. An.artilery regiment. with
HEADQUARTERS at the Preside of San FRAN
CISCO was moved to the Atlantic seaDoaro
before the arrival in San Francisco OF It's
relieving regiment from the east. Among
the soldiers who not caring to remove from
California to the east deserted was SUI
dier named Jim Haynes
1t happened that there was huse,
powerful good-natured teamster named
Jim Haynes, who lived near the main gate
of the Presidio Some of this teamsters
friends who knew of the desertion OF the
soldier Jim Haynes put up job on him:
When the new regiment got along TO tne
Preside from the east. and provost SQUADS
were sent out to hunt for deserters IIoiH
the departed regiment, the Transfers 1ok-
ing friends tipped it off TO one OF the
searching parties that they knew where
the deserter Jim Haynes could be
found The searching soldiers found
honest high hat of steamed beer after
a hard days work, at groggery
near the Preside gate. The descrip-
ton of the deserving Jim Haynes, the
sort of way So the soldiers started to
drag the teamster toward the Presidio gate.
Jim the teamster made 1t the busiest DIT
OF dragging that any Of the members OF
do. He fixed up three or four of them
for the hospital before they got him any
where near the Preside gate reinforce
nents were summoned. and 1t took about
battalion of artillerymen to land Jim the
teamster, in the Preside clink.
Jim the teamster wsts an inmate of the
Presidio mill for about a fortnight before
his case was Strengthened out. TOOK TOOK
fixed bayonets, to keep Jim the teamster
from razing the guard house to the ground
with his naked hands. The whole Pre-
sidio command quite failed to get any work
ont of him. At fatigue call every morning
for a week or so the guard attempted to
prod Jim the teamster out OF his cell TO
the front of the guard house, to step into
line with the military prisoners bound for
garrison work under the eye of sentries.
But that scheme had to be abandoned.
The sick list Became too heavy for the
surgeons liberation, for Jim was there"
with his "dooks." The teamSter wound
tackle the whole guard every morning they
tried to start him to work with chairs
benches, stanchions pulled from beneath
the guard house veranda, the guard house
stove used a battering ram, doors
wrenched from their hinges-anything that
first came handy to the huge paws OF the
unjustly confined teamster. At length the
mans joking pals let up on him and sent
word to the Presfdio's commanding officer
Of the job they had put up on their friend.
When he received this word the COM
handing officer strolled down to the guard
house to take look at the man who had
pat about onehalf the members Of every
days guard for a week in the surgeons
hands
Look here, my man." said the COM
nianding officer to the teamster, after tell
iTEg him that he was at liberty to go back
to his truck, I'D like to have you in my
command. You'd better take on with us.
IT beats teaming. and I'll fix you out with
an extra duty job. Get uniform on you
and I'll see that you get square DEAL
well. you've got a fine way of MAX
ing recruits-thats all I've got to say" was
the reply of Jim the teamster, but, upon
some reflection, he accepted the command
iIg officers invitation to join the Preside
command, and slept that night in @barra cks.
There are still in the American army any
number Of old-timers with bent noses and
caulifower ears who remember Jim Haynes
and the queer way he entered the service Of
Uncle Sam.