The Washington herald., 1906-12-16

time You uid SoHieliiihB SHS WASH useU
to or objected to something she was used
to-"
Yes" agreed the widow. with a little
shiver. what horrid things two people
could say to one another"
such as. Just wait until the lease is
up - suggested the bachelor.
The widow nodded.
"Or, The next time I marry. I'll be
careful not to take anybody with red
hair or. Thank goodness il won't last
foreverr - she added.
That's the beauty of IT." broke In the
bachelor enthusiastically. IL wouldnt
last forever And the knowledge that 1t
wouldn't would be such an anesthetic."
such a what?" the widow sat I'D so
suddenly that both toes slipped from the
fender and her heels landed Indignantly
on the floor.
1T would be the lump Of sugar. ex-
planned the bachelor, that would take
away the bitter taste and make you able
to swallow all the trials more easily It's
the feeling that painful operation won't
last long that makes It possible TO grin
and bear it. Besides, it would do away
with all sorts Of crimes, like divorce and
wife murder and ground glass in the
coffee. Knowing that the marriage was
only temporary. and that we were only
sort of house-party guests, might make
US more polite and agreeable and enter
tanning. so as TO leave good impression
behind us"
cor to get invited to stay longer" re-
marked the widow cynicaIly.
The bachelor nodded cheerfulIy
That's it," he agreed pulling COM
fGrtably on his cigar. I'VE always take
better care of borrowed articles than of
those that belong 20 US, anyhow, and that
we can treat as we please. Having got
ten a charming wife or a satisfactory
husband. the very thought that the de-
sirable person could terminate the affair
and escape US when the contract run
out would make US more cOnsideTate
Of them and more anxious TO please and
less liable to nag or to bully A woman
wouldn't take the risk OF appearing at
breakfast in curl papers or indulging IN
tantrums. and a man would think twice
before he refused his wife money, OF
stayed downtown with the boys nights"
Il do believe" cried the widow, sitting
up straight and looking at the bachelor
accusingly, that you're arguing in favor
Of trial marriage.
I'm not arguing in favor Of marriage
at all" protested the bachelor plaintively.
But marriage for life is ike putting
the whole dinner on the table at once.
It takes away our appetite Marrying on
trial would be more like serving II in
courses.
THAT might be all right agreed the
widow, doubtfully, 'if-there weren't too
many courses Too many marriages
would give you mental indigestion"
And sentimental dyspepsia" agreed
the bachelor, refiectively; but Il would
give you variety, too" he added hope
fully.
And changing the course would be
such a strain" declared the widow
why. when the contract was up how
would you know how to divide things
the children and
THE dog and the cat"
And all the little mementos you had
collected together, and the things you
had shared in common and the favorite
armchair, and the things you had grown
used TO and fond Of"
''Oh. well, in that case remarked the
bachelor. you might have grown so used
to and fond OF one another that when il
came TO the parting Of the ways, YOU
would not want TO part them. After all.
he went on. sOberly, If trial marriages
were put into effect. they would end nine
times out of ten in good old-fashioned
matrimony. A man can get as accustomed
to woman as he does TO a pipe or
CHAIR
What"
And woman" pursued the bachelor,
''can become as attached to a man and n
fond of him as she is Of an old umbrella
or pair Of old shoes that have done good
service, No matter how battered or worn
they may become, nor how many breaks
there are in them, we can never find any
| thing to quite take their place Matri-
mony, after all. is just a habit; and hus-
| bands and wives become habits-habits
that, however disagreeable they NAV be
we don't want to part with. Trial mar
riages.' even if they should be tried
wouldn't alter things much. As long as
two people can stand one another they
will cling together, anyhow, and il they
can't they won't anyhow; and whether
it's run-Out lease or n divorce or prussic
acid that separates them doesn't make
much difference. Custom, not the wedding
| certificate. is the tie that binds most of
US. The savage doesn't need any laws TO
hold him to the woman Of hts choice.
Habit does it. and If habit doesn't the
woman will!"
The widow sighed and leaned back in
her chair
'I suppose so.' she said, but it seems
dreadfully dreary''
What seems dreadfully dreary?" in
quired the bachelor.
''AfatTimOny. replied the widow sol
emnly. 1T is like those old chairs and
pipes and shoes and things you were
speaking Of; it's full of holes and breaks
and bare spots, and it won't always work
but there's nothing that will quite take
the place of It,"
-afd t,,cto4,,
That's why 1 want to
The widow rose quickly and shook out
her skirts.
Now don't begin that. Billy" she said.
trying to be severe; you're too old"
"Oh, well, I'm still in good repair" pro-
tested the bachelor.
The widow shook her head
All the varnish is worn of your
ideals" she objected, land the hinges of
your enthusiasm creak and you've got
bare spot on the top of your head
But I've most of the modern improve
ments,' broke in the bachelor. desper-
ately, "and I'm not secondhand, anyway.
No" said the widow, looking him
over critically. you're shop-psOrn. But,
originally, you were an attractive article
and you've genuine and good style and
well preserved. and if"
"Wel?" The bachelor looked up ex-
pectantly
IF there were such q thing as trial
maria ges- The widow hesitated
again.
You'd give me a trial?" asked the
bachelor eagerly.
oh, said the widow. studying the
toes of her red kid slippers, 1T wouldn't
be-such a trial"
An Unpopular Candidate.
From Hsrpet's Weekly.