The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-04-20
BUMP! kER-B|FF! DOWN he Goes.
A Skating Rink is Not the Place
to Show Off

Joy When the S~well-Skater Goes
Down-A Mix-Up Between the Oc-
cident and the Orient-The General
Good Nature of Crowds mt the Rink.
why" observed the somewhat adj
pose man still on the hither side of 10,
as he creased along airily ar the rooler
skating rink, Its just as e-e-e-easy.
Here I've been looking on for three
nights, kind O. fraid TO put them on
and now that I've got 'em on | hnG
that it's just as e-e-e-easy. Something
a fellow never forgets-roller skating:
same as swimming in hat respect.
Now, the last time | had 'em on before
was about-lemme see-why, shucks,
it was 20 years ago-all of that-aL
tn cold E street rink between Sixth
and Seventh streets. And / guess l
wasn't the fancy boy with the skates
way back yonder in that gone time.
l had the airy fairy Lilians burned TO
the ground as a skater at that epoch
in my bright young career. OF course
I'm some more circumferential around
the wastline now, but-well anyhow
it's a perfect snap for me to skate,
even if it does make me feel as f 1
were ia years old to bark back over
the mess of years since | last roller
skate. Why, l ever believe | could
do the same old stunts on 'em right
now. Watch me do that long Dutch
roll-why it's like wheedling grandma
out of a nickel for a hOrsecake-its
like
Bump. Ker-biff! Bang.
The somewhat adipose man engaged
in showing them in how to do the long
Dutch roll Of the boys of his youth,
took a list to starbOard and shifted his
cargo 80 to speak, and right in the
very pin-point of his self appreciation.
he was sprawling around on the waxy
floor Like a capsiZed water bug in q
boarding house zinc bath tub, while
three or four agile young fellows, with
unbecoming and grating laughter, were
nimbly leaping over hin. The some
what adipOSe man picked himself up,
and for the remainder of the session he
whirled around with greatest imagl-
nable ~sedateness, eschewing fancy
stunts without the apparent exercise
of any great amount of self-lest,aint.
1t is a dangerous thing to brag a.
bout your immunity from falls at a
roller skating rink. 1t almost seems
as if some malicious little tripping
imp, arubbering, Overhears all the
braggy remarks of those who are ex-
ultant over the fact that they are
not getting any falls, and, just to
show the complement ones that no.
body has any cinch on the vertical
position at a roller rink, straightway
plants an invisible, but no less efft-
cacious, barrier in their way and sends
| them groveling to the boards. If you
we got to be just a little stuck up at
| a roller rink owe the fact you've had
| no falls. just think of it. Or. if you
say it aloud, knock wood, anyhow.
to exercise or placate the imp. KNOCK
| wood with your knuckles. It is bet
| ter than it is with every projecting
| portion of your anatomy at one and
| the same time. Nor does the writer
| hereof, in saying this, speak by mere
hearsay.
J However. you're going to have to
| stand for a certain number of falls
at the roller rink, anyhow, no matter
| how nifty a skater you may be. You
! will have observed that the cracker
| jack swimmers are the boys who are
| the oftenest pulled out of the water
| and rolled over a barrel. It's the
| same way with rollering. The fancy
| skater is just about as apt to become
careless as the swell swimmer. The
| fellow who can make the long roll
to one side or the other on one foo!
| like a Chinese junk riding out a Vel
low sea typhoon is just as apt to cap
size and swab up a certain section OIL
the flooring with his raiment as the
mere beginner hanging On to an in
Structor for dear life.
A little more apt when it comes &c
that. For the swell roller boy is oc'
~casionally inclined to forget his bus
mess and to begin to hope it out that
he is making a hit with the spectators
by the poetry of motion, he is exhibit
ing to them. Now. if there's any place
on earth where disaster waits upon
the individual who forgets himself,
even for one-eighth of a second, its
at a roller skating rink. Even the
fancy one intent upon making a hit
has got to remember his business, fol
the instant he forgets what he has
attached to his feet and begins te
dream upon what a lovely object he
must be presenting to the common
view, the bump awaits him that viii
give him at least ID minutes Of the
keenest chagrin, to say nothing Of Z
certain number Of exposed spots where
to the arnica or other soothing Oint
ments and ungents must be applied
Moreover, when the swell skater, en-
gagged in showing all hands just wha'
the possibilities of roller skating are
goes down, the gloat that comes a bub
bling from the midrif of b hunm
BILE ones is about 1000 times as hear
ty and enjoyable to the gloaters a.
when some mere beginner or just or
binary. everyday skater falls. That