The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-05-13
SOME SOUTHERN STORIES

1 is no state in the Union where the Sacred Scriptures are held in higher reverence"
 This was the exordium of State Super intendent Martin of South Carolina. My address shall be as brief as the marriage ceremony of a certain magistrate in my state The whole procedure was as fol- lows: Have'r? Yes. Have'm? Yes. Mar red. $2"
 MT Martin got a good deal of fun out of Hartford As a citizen of Columbia, s. C., with it's numerous secession memories, he claimed kinship with the Hartford of the hartford Federalist convention, which he said was also secession city. He wanted the conference to go there next year. Then" he said, 'I shall pin a sprig of palmetto on the coat of the Hart ford Yankee and he may pin a wooden nutmeg on mine. and we shall clasp hands and repeat, United we stand divided we fall.'"
 St. Clair McKelway, who followed MT. Martin, insisted being admitted into the fraternal union of South Carolina and Connecticut. While the palmetto may grow in your state" he said, the chest nut thrives in mine"
 This was MT. McKelway's tribute to the people of the Blue Grass: You vindicate your ancestors in charm and character, and apparently exceed them in numbers"
 Lexington, he said, would mean to him hereafter something more than splendid horses, famous in their day and numerous in their generation
 President Alderman of the University of Virginia made one reference to Jefferson in his address, adding parenthetically, I've got to mention him once, or l can't go back to Albemarle, Va,
 He told of a visitor in Mississippi who wanted a native to change a $5 bill This was the reply he got:
 Stranger bull yearin' is legal tender for $5 bill in this country"
 A negro preacher Dr. Alderman said, had vainy exhorted his congregation to contribute the funds to patch the leaking roof of his church. At last he laid down this utimatum
 'Dey ain't gwine to be no mo preachn' until enuff money am raised to fresco dat abscess."
 Wharton Jones, superintendent of the Memphis public schools, repeated the fine remark of the Kentuckian, Tom Marshall. concerning Andrew Jackson, which should be better known: When I looked into his face I saw thousand unfought vic tories"
 A gifted southern woman said that her colored woman surprised her one day with the announcement that she was soon to be married again. The servant explained
 
 before and that she was to wed "the hus- band of the corpse" She a.aed that the bereaved widower had noticed her at the funeral:
 "TIe said was the life of the occa asion." The Church of the Disciples or the Christian church, as it is called in Ken lucky, Is the strongest of all denomina- tions in the commonwealth, among blacks as well as whites. Mrs. William Goodell xxrif of fla nf pnrA repeats a bit of Bible history which she got from an old negro minister who came to her house with a subscription list. He claimed that his church was the original Christian church, and when she said that the Baptists made the same claim he admitted that there was some thing in It. That sect, he said, was formed by John the Baptist, but the Christians were started by Paul at An tioch to fight the Baptists An" he added, 'dey's been fightin, 'em ebber since"
 President Alderman likened one of the souths problems to the predicament of a. man who fell off high bridge and said, as he fell:
 Lord have mercy on me, and have 1t quick
 He described the way in which some communities began their free libraries. They contributed to them chiefly patent office reports and Hives of men who ought never to have lived.' Thereby they got "the sanitary advantage of spring cleaning, accompanied by the virtuous inn pulses of philanthropy" Dr. Maxwell. superintendent of the New York public schools, had an anecdote about strange /minister called in to preach the funeral sermon of the head of a family. Desirous of getting guidance, he asked the son:
 My boy, did you hear your fathers last words?
 "No, sir replied the youngster. He didn't have no last words. Mother was with him to the end
 This is the way a North Carolina man, deputed to read to the conference the re- port of the absent Arkansas superintend- ent of schools prefaced his task: "For few minutes I will scrape the tar off my heels and mount the band wagon of the Arkansas Traveller
 C. B. F. Try the Gawk for haIf-tone and line