davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
Big Fortune in Automobiles.

From the Worlds Work
The 10000 automobiles now in use. in.
cluding 6o.Q00 motor cycles worth not more
than 500 on an average. viii scarcely
amount TO more than S2o0 600 go I'm value
With a production increasing about . pei
cent every year, they represent the out
put OF three years manufacture The
invested capital in automobile building
may therefore be estimated at about So.
Go000 on the assumption. which holds
good approximately in similar industries
that the capital Teproduces itself. gross
every year. The total valuation Of the
industry 10 date. In rough figures is
about S215, 5,o00.000. Yet 10 buy aud operate
all the automobiles in the world would
cost less than One-fourth Of the amount
spent for alcoholic liquor in the United
States for one year.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
THE INNOCENT BYSTANDER.
THE sMuDGE-FACED BOY.

3 fE4 = VI ~ Fs-E At LII buy.
oh, smUdEe-faced boy, your cheeks are
griWrd
VIM dirt that tells Of romping games.
OF fences scaled. of trees you've climbed.
o. conflicts after "callin' names"
Why here IS dust from of the street.
And there are patches OF black loan
That tell You crepJ on stealthy feet
Through gardens ere you wandered
home.
And here are little. struggling streaks
That snow where dTipped the teIi-tale
tears.
And left their impriHts on your cheeks.
When some one hailed your wrath with
jeers.
AND here. upon your rounded chin.
Are blots of drying apple juice.
You've raided some ones apple bin,
III preach to You, but what's the use?
All. when YOU smile, the little riffs
Break through these tell-tales Of your
spoil
IS though a laughing earthquake lifts
And shakes bare cheek-breadth OF soil
B1 when I look al you ] seem
IH a myself iu years gone by.
Tnus. old DAYS pass me in "a dream.
And thinking Of them all. ] sigh.
And 7 would give / know not what
II ! once more might loiter i'm.
with souvenirs OF each play spot
Bcpiasterius my cheek and chin.
If { might know again the feel.
81 honest dirt. Cf scratch and bruise-
Bur age comes creeping on to steal.
The days that We are doomed TO lose.
So. wash your face, Tt does not count
You cannot know vet what / mean.
suudge-f8ce is Of small amount
s llnE rs Enur hnr-ha1rt h rInar
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
Senatorial Appetite.
D the PhiIsdslphia Pnblic L.drs-

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger
1t is said that corned-beef hash as
made by Senator Hanna's cook was very
popular in Washington several years ago
When the head waiter Of the Senate res
taurant wanted hash prepared very care
fully, he ordered it this way:
"One corned-beef hash for Senator
Hanna"
One day when the restaurant was do
ing a heavy business, almost everybody
seemed TO want corned-beef hash.
"COrned-beef hash for Senator Hanna
had been ordered fourteen times When
the fifteenth order went down to the
kitchen. the chef shouted.
That's fifteen orders for Senator Han
ma, He'd better watch out OF he'll found
er hisself"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
One Mar of Pnirlnr OF.

From the Boston Herald
4 number of years ago. at a small town
IN Maine, an important local election was
10 take place, and there was strong
rivalry between the Republicans and
Democrats Old Hiram Morse. the black
smith. was q strong Democrat. but many
Of tie farmers were Republicans.
on the morning OF the election a farmer
came in to have his horse sh0d. The
blacksmith said to him: We're both
busy You're Republican and I'm a
Democrat. Let's pair eff. Wen neither
OF Us vote. and it viii AMOUNT 10 the
same as If we both went ia the polls
This was agreed upon. After election
II was found out that Morse had pairsd
of with FIVE Republican farmers.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
Dog and Dogma.

From Harper's Weekly.
A Baltimore man tells of attending a
church on one occasion when the min
lister delivered a sermon Of but ten min
utes' duration-a most unusual thing for
him
Upon the conclusion of his remarks
the minister had added: I regret to
inform YOU, brethren. that my dog which
appears TO be peculiarly fond of paper.
this morning ate that portion of my ser
mon that I have not delivered.
After the service the clergyman was
met at the door by q man who. as a
rule, attended divine service in another
parish Shaking the good man by the
hand, he said:
Doctor, I should like TO know whether
that dog Of yours has any pups. If so,
1 want to get one to give to my min
ister"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
Inferior Telephone service.

The Chesapeake and Potomac Telephone
Company is inviting trouble. A year or
so ago its service was good so good as
to be the subject Of favorable comment
generally. Now its service Is deficient, so
deficient as to be the subject Of unfavora-
bic criticism generally.
The explanation of this change for the
worse is not apparent on the face OF
things There is a better plant, finer
equipment, the personnel Of the execu-
tive and operating staff has undergone no
change. so far as we know. and the meth
ods and policies are the same as formerly;
but the fact remains that the service has
deteriorated in marked degree. The com
pany should see the wisdom Of improving
it without delay.
In order that anything here said may
not be misinterpreted or misunderstood,
The Herald will forestall possible sug-
sestion that this paper favors rivalry in
the telephone business. 1t does not
Wherever tried. the experiment OF com
peting telephone lines has beeen promo
tive of annoyance and trouble, overbaI-
ancing any saving in telephone tolls. But
the people have right to expect and de
mand satisfactory service. and The Her
aid speaks for a large portion of the COM
munity when it says that the service in
Washington is at present most unsatis-
factory. The companys interests viii
be subseTved by immediate Improvement
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
LITTLE HENRY's MEMORANDA

Unkel Bill sez a STATESMAN is a politl-
shun that IS always havin' his picture
took
When sum people are happy they are
like q saint Bunard dog waggin' its tail
in the house Thay forget and upset ev-
ryth.ng.
Cnkel Bin sen when man calls a
woman "a aingel he forgets that a angel
wares the saim dress for tnousans cf
yecrs and never wares a hat al all
IL Is Tong 20 quarrel becos you cant
think of the meanest thing to say until
after you have maid up
1 had to laff when pa sed tie trubble
with boys is that they knO more than
thate fathers an ma sed that wasn't SO
mutch tho.
Cnkel BIZ sez when a man gets the
moIgiage pade on his hous ne quits lissen-
ing 20 talk about the shaklIles Of cappy-
tai WILBUR NESBIT.
Copyright 1906 by ". D. Nesbitl
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

to lie down to pleasant dreams we shall
do SO reverently and with a full sense
of the scientific phenomena We are up
against"
And when sleeping. II there come to us
pleasant dreams. may they be of and
about the scientific fellow who has ex-
planned to us the technical and artistic
delights and beauties of old-fashioned
slann
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
studious Indians.

IRON thc LeUist0n Journal
An Arcostook farmer recently ap-
preached two Indians from the Passama-
quoddy reservation desiring TO hire them
to pick potatoes. offering $50 day and
board
One of the Indians asked the farmer if
he had an organ in the house, and being
answered in the negative told the farmer
they would not work for him, as they
would want to work for some one having
a musical instrument so that they ceald
practice evenings.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
A. n Inst ENfrrmr.

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
ington were gathered in the smoking
room of lawyers club, when the talk
turned to a discussion of the yeraeity OF
lawyers. THE average man. remarked
one disciple of Blackstone. seems only
too ready to assume we are all liars-a-
very unjust position. it seems TO me. Do
we not sometimes tell the truth?" he
asked OF his neighbOT, a well-knovn Grim
inal lawyer
Certainly promptly responded the
latter. We Will do anything sometimes
TO win a case.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
THE TREAsURE.

A wife 70 love
The whole day long.
A wife 10 blame
When things go wrong
A wife TO clothe,
A wife 20 feed;
A wife to touch"
When coin you need.
A wife to kiss
Away earth's stings;
A wife to fetch
And carry things.
A wife TO pet,
a wife to tease:
A wife tat tines
TO try to please.
A wife from want
To shield and screen;
A wife on whom
To vent your spleen.
Oh. believe me. men.
Throughout this life
There's nothing like
4 little wifei
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
an Astonndinr RenIr.

From Lippincotts,
one day at Latin recitation Johnny
Jones was so drowsy that when the pro
fessor asked for the conjugation of a GER.
tain verb he failed to catch it. and. turn
ing to his bosom friend, inquired: What
verb?"
"Damfno, whispered his companion.
"Damhno. damfinare, damfnavi. damf-
natum," said Johnny Jones to the hor-
rified professor.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
4 Desert Cron Report.

From the Go,d6eId (Nevl Gossip
Young dynamite is shooting through
the ground
Peas and beans are coming on nicely
by train
Asparagus is looking well in the can.
The brewery grass plot Is being spray
cd with beer. The grass is leaning at all
angles
Goldfeld peaches come very high
The corn should be constantly looked TO.
Frequent rubbing with soda viii assist.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
Ragged Him

From the Chicago News
Toni hear Fred is married. / always
thought he was too timid for anything Of
that kind.
Jack-Oh. he married widow
Tom-A widow Where did he meet her?
Jackie didn't meet her at all; she
overlook him.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
Wanted fhe ,rnno-

From the Philadelphia Press.
Tailor-There now! That suit certainly
fits you perfectly.
Customer-Yes, indeed, you may safely
feel proud of that. It's a credit to you.
Taiior-Well-er-yes and I hope you
Won't forget that it's a debit to Won.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
VIII Run the Wireless.

Among other, and perhaps the most ar
duous, of the duties that Will fall to the
lot of Lieut.. Frank Taylor Evans aboard
the battleshp Louisiana upon which the
President and party Will travel to Pana-
ma Will be that Of keeping the world
informed of such things done By the
President as may suit the Executive to
be reported. He viii send wireless dis
patches from the battle ship to the near
est land station. going and coming. and
viii receive all messages sent TO the
President or members Of HIS party.
Lieut. Evans is a son Of Fighting Bob
and nephew of the late Admiral TAYLOR.
who commanded the Indiana in the battle
OF Santiago. He is accounted an expert
in wireless telegraphy, being one of the
first officers of the navy who took up
this newest means Of communication for
serious study. Probably the leading ex-
pert among officers Of the navy i'm wire
. less telegraphy is Commander William
Hogg. a Maryiander, whose father for
many years was chief clerk Of the NAVY
Department. Commander Hogg is now
stationed at Pensacola, Fla. and il is
said that ne may soon have some inlpor-
tant news to report concerning develop-
ments achieved under his supervision nj
the Pensacola station.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
4 Few Years Hence.

WHY do you hesitate. Archibald? Ny
lips have been sJerillzed
How about the coloring matter,
Gu ruteed free from all deleterious sub
Stances
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
OYER the Wire

From Town Topics.
Edith-Have you demanded an apology
from Harold for calling you a prevarica-
tor?
Wilie-No, but I shall-jusl as soon
as the shiftless fellow puts in a tele-
poneI
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
Putting 1t Mildly.

Sai6 Farmer Bopp Much wood Tn
chop. Ny goosebonc says that wen need
FIRE"
QU0th Farmer Hayes. "lIy goosebone
says yOus goosebone is an awful poor
prophet
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
Quite So.

"IIow about our \. Y. & L., stock?"
We've been handed lemon"
Never mind. Mixed with a little water
Il VIII make "a beverage that the public
has never known how to resist
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

ton of character the verdict of the
American people never varies" What
sort Of character does that establish for
Pennsylvania
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
answers TO Correspondents.

Did Roots speech Do il, or was Tam
many the real cause?" ANXIOUS.
We cannot answer this question,
Anxious DO you wish us to commit lese
maJeste?
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
The Morning Alter.

] hit a poker game last night,
Likewise a little booze.
/ lost my every red and white
But ] retain my blues.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
They often Are.

THAT Boston girl is sweet enough to
swcetcn ten with a smile.
and cold enough TO frappe it with
glance
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

Oklahoma went Democratic. which
looks nightly Ike handing the lemon to
a great and good friend.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

That Louisiana COngressman-eIect who
started practic.ng with his pistol the dav
after his election ought to have been in
formed that our congressman are not
always as bad as they are painted.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

Mr.. Hughes has taken 10 the woods.
Wnere he Is pretty au; 20 bump into a
few independence Leaguers.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

Chicago merchants are complaining be-
cause certain rural gentlemen have been
selling them potatoes measured in
"busheI' baskets that do not contain a
bushel The farmers should remember
that the use Of the near-bushel measure
is the merchant's exclusive pTerogative.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

We trust that Neptune appreciates the
necessity OF making himself known
promptly when hailed. III the President
should mistake the ola mans trident for
Tillman's pltchfOrk. he may order a four
teen-inch gun turned on the rdIer OF The
deep.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

Two other American peeresscs are
about to seek relief from their prohigate
husbands. The th.pg threatens to be-
come a tad.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

The Richmond Times-Dispatch thinks
that Havana soldier sentenced to jail for
writing bad poetry might enter a plea
that he doesn't write any worse poetry
than Alfred Austin. However, if he fail
cd 10 sustain his plea he would probably
be shot.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

one thing may be said for AIR. Hearst
He walked right up 10 the table and ate
his crow like a man. After an. that IS
the best way TO dispose OF crow
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

We regret TO report that AIr. Adam Lit
uepage. for whom We made an especial
plea. was completely lost in the West
Virginia shuttle. Tn fact. the cruel-heart-
ed voters seem 20 have determined that
Lttlepdge ought 20 Doe turned down.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

No one need doubt the political sagac-
ity Of William Randolph Hearst No
sooner does he acknowledge defeat than
he announces his intention OF taking a
long trip abroad
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

But, then, suppose things should move
along in Washington during the next
three weeks Just as though nothing had
happened? Wouldn't that hold you for
q Mhile2
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

The smallest county in Alabama elected
a Republican to the legislature. The Re-
pubHcans do not need much in Alabama.
There is little crOwding
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
Tired

"}Feu. Senator, the returns are all in
so am To-
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

Since the returns are all in. the saddest
thought to the gang" is that the new
Pennsylvania capitol might Just as well
have cost a few millions more.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

over in Illinois the Republican candidate
for State treasurer. Mr.. Smulski. has de
feated the Democratic candidate Mr.
PiotrowsH, thus clearing UP the political
skies considerably
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
views or SOUTHERN PRESS.
Varying Opinions on the sIgnifi-
cance of Hearst,s Defeat.

From tie Louisville CourierJournal.
Whatever the individual Hearst may
be. lie is not a Democrat Whatever
Hearstlsm may be. il is not Democracy.
That Hearst gave utterance 70 many
ugly truths during the just-ended cam
paign. need not be denied but no candl-
date for Office can be separated from his
character, his associates. and his meth
DDS Hearst bought and paid for the
official Democratic label. Through Tar
gain. intrigue, and treachery ne made a
foul deal with Tammany. With his mon
ey ana his machinery he constructed a
holding company called the Independ-
ence League BY the excesses and eX-
tremism Of his newspapers he cOnsolidat-
ed the labor union vote. All this was
purely personal politics, selfish politics
venal politics At the best it could only
have substituted in New York for a cor
rupt Republican ring a corrupt Hearst
ring.
But its triumph would have msled
honest Democrats all over the land. It's
triumph would have poured into the next
nominating Democratic national conven-
tiOn a flood Of base money. a flock OF
unciean BIRDS Of prey, and noisomc
omnum gatherum of mercenaries. adven-
turers, and cranks. il would have both
diverted and defowered all Democratic
standards
Death were preferable 20 this. Hap
PLY the party is spared Il. For good
or evil, for success or defeat. il viii 20
ahead and nominate William Jennings
Bryan, putting him upon a high and
sound Democratic platform, and with
prayers and hope, giving the ticket and
the flag
s4rs +t "a
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

II the Republican campaign fund was
really as small as it was said TO be. some
Of the defeated candidates I'm New York
must profoundly realize that a little
money is a dangerous Thing.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
Dubois' Great Popularity.

The defeat OF no other man in public life
could have caused more genuine regret in
large circle of friends in Washington
than that of Senator Dubois. OF Idaho
The Idaho statesman came to Washing
ton first as q Delegate. when Idaho was
a Territory and il was largely due TO his
popularity that Statehood was bestowed
upon the Territory He was then a Pc
publican. and as a member Of that party
was sent 10 The Senate by his State. He
followed Senator Teller out Of the St
Louis convention. and has been a lOyaI
Democrat ever since. After lapse Of one
term Idaho then sent him 10 Washington
again rs Senator, this time as a Dem
ocrat. Senator Dubois went 10 Idaho from
Illinois during the Arthur administration
as United States marshal. He is general
Is accounted one Of the most astute poll
ticians in the Senate. and wields a quiet
4 influence in that body that is not sur
passed by many Senators. The Senate.
as well as the Washington public, will re-
Eret 10 say g0od-by to Senator Dubois
He will be succeeded by William Rorah
one OF the ablest lawyers in Idaho.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
Studying Heredffr.

Agreeing with Pope. that "the greatest
study Of mankind is man" the Hon. VIII
let N. Hayes. Assistant Secretary Of Agri-
culture, has deserted the peaceful study
of scientific farming nd taken up the diff
icult task Of improving the human race
He has pondered the horse. the OK, the
swine, the beasts Of the field. and the
fowls Of the air. and having observed that
heredity controls predspositions or deter
mines temperameHtal qualities in these
lower forms Of animal life. he reasons by
analogy that a like influence must plav
an important D2lt in forming human
character. He is going al his task in
unique way. Abandoning the beaten path.
ne has appointed a committee 20 take up
and devise means for recording the values
Of the blood Of the different races. While
head Of the Minnesota experiment station
Dr. Hayes worked with plants and ami
mails. and gave his heredty ideas fun
play Now he wants 10 apply his scientific
deductions 10 human animals Prof
James Wilson, his chief. is in hearty SYM
patny with his project. as Prof Wilson
is no sloUch in Judging the character Of
men even without knowing anything OF
their supposed hereditary traits
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

1T is a cheering thought" says the
New York Mail, that when it is a ques-
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

As for the lemon distribution. Gov.
Beckham seems not to have been over
looked.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

If the Pulajanes keep # Up. something
is likely 10 happen 10 them. despite their
ladviikc name
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

Senator Depew's nervousness is said to
have entirely disappeared. His nerve.
however, has not
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

Marie CorelH announces that she is not
coming to the United States The news
will also add 10 the festivities of Thanks
giving Day
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

When the Japs and the Chinese ennoble
a man, they start with the man and work
backward, including such ancestors as
seem worthy. This is quite an improve
ment over the English and French plans
OF leaving the thing to the man ana his
descendants.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10
PEOPLE OF NOTE.
Kemtucky's New star.

Although the Hon. James 3. Nc
Creary has yet two years 10 serve the
STATE Of Kentucky in the Senate, and the
legislature which viii elect his successor
viii not be chosen until next year. the
Democratic voters OF that State already
have decided upon their choice of new
Senator in the person of their governor,
the Hon. J. c. ". Beckham. Under a
plan devised by the "Beckham crowd
the election of Senators was made as
nearly popular as possible under present
constitutional restraints by referring II
to the people to be voted on at the same
time that they elected state officers and
Others this year. A mighty howl went up
When the "Beckham crowd" forced this
upon the politics of the State but these
complaints did no good Mr.. McCreary.
OF course, submitted to the inevitable. and
entered the curious primary contest with
the young governor, with the result that
the latter has been declared 20 be the
choice Of the Democratic voters. Tn
less the Republicans should carry the
legislature in next years election. Gov.
beckham viii be sure 10 come 20 the Sen
ate. He VIII be the youngest member
OF that body and with the exception Of
tut NON Marion &. Butler. OF North
carolina, the youngest man who has
served IN the Senate in more than "A gen
Grafton Gov BeCkham's career has been
meteoric. The grandson Of a governor OF
his State. he was a page IN the Kentucky
legislature AT nine. At twenty-three he
was speaker OF the House at Frankfort,
and at twenty-eight was governor. He
VIII be only thirty-fOur when he enters
the Senate. Tie has beaten down and hu-
inflated all the old-line Democratic lead
ers OF Kentucky. even including statesmen
of such power and prestige us Senators
Blackburn and McCreary. Not even
"Marse Henry Watterson has escaped
the young governors list Of victims
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

Gov Mag0On viii have the books OF the
Cuban treasury audited. The Cuban pa
triots viii doubtless watch this new and
novel innovation with great interest, but
scant respect.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

The Rev Hugh Black. OF Scotland.
says: "To my mind. hades is a city very
much like New York" This is enough to
scare his flock back into the straight and
narrow path.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

Notwithstanding the Presidents alb
sence. we have no doubt that any lid
caught attempting 10 tilt win be properly
Tafted.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

Mr. Moran viii now have plenty OF
leisure to devote to his candidacy for the
Presidency.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

With the Oklahoma Indians voting the
Democratic ticket and the Ute Indians
wanting to fight. the present administra-
ton must be longing for the sight of a
few good Indians
The Washington herald., 1906-11-10

Just as a train stopped for dinner in
New Mexico the other day, bandits en-
tered it and robbed tine passengers
Bandits ought 10 work their own end OF
the road and Jet the ralroad-restauraut
keepers end alone