Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-02-01

Charles Lamb gives funny accour
Of the origin of roast pig The owner Q
litter of juvenile porkers, roasted t
death by the casual burning Of the fan
lily sry, ia picking about among tn
ruins and sorrowfully handling III
crisp remains chanced to burn his tin
gers. Clapping them to his mouth, b
tasted pleasure so exquisite that !
made him at once forget his pain ant
loss. Pouncing on the prize, he not onl.
dispatched the whole barbecue at sit
ting, but licked his lips for more.
The story got wind. and the entire
country was ablaze with burning pig
pens, nor was it till many years after
that some adventurous innovator shock
ed the adherents of conservative cook
cry by proposing new and less expen-
sive process of preparing a favorite
dish.
1t is not for US lawyers to laugh at
this. None has been more prone than
we to roast pigs according to precedent.
All Of US can remember when in every
action to recover the value Of one
mans property wrongfully appropriate
ed by another it was necessary to al
lese q fictitious losing by the former
and finding by the latter and oil be-
cause the first ease of the sort, hun
dreds of years ago. happened to be one
of real losing and finding. Nay, have
patch OF cabbages to be solemnly aver
red, and no lawyer thought of smiling
at it.
In the department of evidence we
have been especially slow to learn. II
you want to know how cramped and
artificial its rules are just get into the
witness box to tell all you know about
some case and see how much you'll be
let to tell.
Very adroit was the march that Lie
LoOmis stole on the statute of limita-
tons" Lie was the factotum Of Guys
Neck lie did miscellaneous business
as carpenter, COW doctor and coffin
maker, adding to his other functions
that Of undertaking to the county poor
house. He was withal an easy, good |
natured fellow, free to trust and a
most indulgent creditor.
Among the others whom Life had
trusted to his cost was Greg Grimes,
without exception the greatest promise
maker and breaker In Guys Neck. l
verify believe he would If possible have
put creditor OF to the last judgment
and then, on the score Of its being a
busy day, have begged him to wait till
tomorrow.
Greg had wheedled Lie with prom
fses till the latter's claim was OUTLAW
ed." Losing patience at last, Lite took
bis account over to the squire's, when,
to his no small discontinue he learned
that unless be could get new promise
from his debtor, with a witness to it.
he might whistle for his bill.
Such fellows as Greg always know a
good deal Of law, especially the sharp
points Of 1t. Greg would talk as freely
and was as full Of promises as ever
when he and Life were alone, but be-
fore others would either evade the sub
|ect or else remain provokingly mum.
One day Lie drove up to Gregs door
With his old gray mare and spring wag-
ID, plain pine coffin-one Of those fat
,opped affairs deemed good enough for
loor folks-being visible behind the
seat.
"Mornin', neighbor," said Lite.
Same to you." said Greg. "Goin' to
olant pauper, see."
"i-a-a-s. Old Boke took rather sud-
lent leave last night and went to try
he charity of another world"
Which Is no more'n fair" said Greg {
seem how long he's lived on the char i
ty Of this" I
Would you mind gittin' in and com. :
n along. neighbour" said Lie. 'It.s .
nlghty dull gon' to funeral all alone |
y oneself"
Greg didn't mind and straightwav
counted by Lies side. 5
The two chatted away after a sort
!, prove how cheerful good company
an render even grave occasion.
Il spose you hevn't forgot that little :,
III O. miner Lite at last took the 1ib- :!
rty to hint q
Not by no means" said Greg. Lets .
se, now. How much did you say It n
as! misremember rightly"
Even 500. besides seven years. in
rest"
Quite right" Greg assented. II rec =
lect it now" y
Eff it's at all inconvenient to nav !,
:" said Life, don't put yourself out =,
| no account" :,
I've been threatenin' to settle It for =
month back" said Greg "but times
" been tight, an'-an' how would -,
onday week dor ~ ~
TO dot" answered Life. = =
III send 1t round" said Greg. =
curious sound came from the cof- =,
the ghost Of chuckle, Durdles -
,uld have called 1t. Greg gave one -
inp and 'lit' in an adjacent COW pas =,
re. Looking back, he saw Lies
entice, the most mischievous In Guys l.
ok, but with plenty of sense and OF "
yful age to be witness, sitting I'D ~
the coffin laughing like mad. Ao
ireg took In the situation at glance H'
had been duped into committing q
1self before a witness. 10
It's a dirty, nasty, mean trickw be 81 81