Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-01-17
Coonskins and olitics
1905, by I. D. Marshall

run for the legislature All the noun
taineers were with him. He didn't have
to promise anything in particular, but
he wanted to show his liberality, and
he promised immunity from the reve-
nue. laws; he promised pensions for
sufferers with mumpS and measles: he
promised that the price of railroad ties
should go up and that the price Of
whisky should go down.
Hut Hatton was elected bv the lar
gest majority ever given candidate in
his district, and in due time appeared
at Nashville. He saw men whom he
| took to be legislators step into car
riages at the depot and ride away to
hotels, but the memories of Dawson's
Cove were still fresh in his mind when
he shouldered his carpetbag and head
ed up the middle of the street OF
course men smiled and women giggled.
and the hoodlums called direct atten-
ton to the member from Coonskin
county, but Hut Hatton minded them
not. He was thinking of humps and
measles and pensions and was wonder
ing if he hadn't bitten off more than
he could chew.
The member from Coonskin county.
as he was facetiously termed, found
trouble in catching on and did not
progress enough to even move an adj
journment. He could tell a "prime"
coonskin three rods away, but there
was mystery about lawmaking that
puzzled him. He might have sat the
session out without once addressing
the speaker officially had not circum-
stances interfered He was still trying
to find which way was up hill and
which way down when a delegation
| from the Cove arrived. The railroad
had refused to raise the price of ties
to rs cents each, and the mountaineers
were weary Of waiting for those pen
sions and front door bells. Bears had
become less plentiful, and it was gen
orally agreed that such a scarcity
Of coons and possums had not been
known for twenty-five years
Things were out Of joint up on the
Cumberland, and as they had heard
nothing from Hut they ventured the
| journey to remind him of his promises
and get hustle on him. He was easily
found, and his knees wabbled when he
faced the delegation. However, even
three months of political life had given
him reserve force. He put the best
face on the matter he could, and when
pushed to the limit he took desperate
resolve. Somewhere he had seen a
sign reading eff You Don't See What
You Want, Ask For It." He wanted
something things-and he de-
terInined to ask for them. A wabbly
feeling came over him as he thought
of rising in his place and asking for
the things he had promised his constit-
uents, but he could see no other way
out Of it. A man must have been a
politician for several years before he
can wriggle out of all sorts of holes,
including broken promises.
An hour came when the member
from Coonskin county arose and was
recognized by the speaker. The house
had caught on and was as quiet as
death. By a supreme effort Of will
power Hut got rid Of his "skeertness"
and summoned up his CAB, and in his
quaint way and queer vernacular he
told his wants. He asked for every
thing he had promised, and his mumps
and measles pension bill stood out so
clearly that his fellow members felt
their jaws ache as they looked into
each others face for signs Of 'break-
ing out" 1t was the effort of Hut's
life. 1t was to stand out as the speech
of the session. He hadn't the slightest
doubt in his mind when he sat down
that the state Of Tennessee was twice
as big as Uncle Sam and that all he
had asked for would be granted him
within an hour.
There was silence for thirty seconds,
and then roars of laughter carried him
and the Dawson Cove delegation out
Of the hall. They walked down the
graveled path to the street and no one
spoke. They turned down the street
and walked for half mile and no man
looked another in the face By and by
Hut halted and stopped the others with
a gesture. Uncle Sile Virgins had
come down at the head of the delega-
ton and it was he who was appealed
to.
'Dog-gone it, Uncle Sile, but what
does it all meanw
Uncle Sile looked at him in comrade-
ship and pity and slowly wagged his
head. When he had wagged it ten
times he put his hand on the others
shoulder and kindly said:
Hut, come along back to Dawson's
Cove. Yo' can't stand up agin it."
''Dog-gone me if l don't go backr'
The next days sun was setting when
Linda Hatton, standing on her front
door step and looking down the road,
saw five men with coonskin caps APP
preaching. One Of them had a ia
miliar looking carpetbag on his shout
der-the others had empty hands. They
came along in single file. with their
heads down and no one speaking. 1t
had been so since leaving the railroad
town.
Huh, but it's Hutr' said Linda. as