Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-10-10

Over the door of an inn at Wool wich on the Thames, according to Puck, hang this tempting sign: Try our famous 1896 vintage. Once drunk, always drunk" - Buffalo News ..- .E
 Since the greatest electricians in the world confess that they do not know what electricity is the rest of us need not be ashamed to admit our ignorance on the subject-Meridep Journal
 Don't you think the automobile has come to stay? Gotham-Well, there was one out in front of my store to- day which I thought had, but they got horse after a while and got 1t ! away it had been there about four hours.-Yonkers Statesman.
 Say, Jake. I'm thinkin' it 'ud be money in our pockets If wed begin handlin' trunks more kearful. Jake Why wud it? Because the more yer smash 'em the bigger and stronger and heavier they make 'em I've struck three this mornin' made out O reglar boiler iron. Me backs most broke. New York Weekly.
 Two deaths are credited to football already and several fractures of bones although the season is very young yet. One of the fatalities Is said to have been made possible by | the open play adopted in order to avoid the danger from massed play ing. Football played for dear life" | is bound to be dangerous anyway Bridgeport Standard.
 By the way What has become of | our pestiferous sparrows? We have been requested to ask by several per sons who tells us and it is our own experience that they have not seen or heard one in our streets for some weeks. If they have gone from where they should never have been brought it will be a happy deliver | ance.-Bridgeport Farmer
 It was soon after the quick-wittei Lady Waldergraves' fourth matrimp- nial venture with Chichester Fortes- que, an Irishmap, that she appeared in Dublin theater with the bride groom. From the gallery man shouted down to her And which iv the four do you like best?" From her box her answer rang out, 'The Irishman. of course" And. of course. "the house came down.. | Exchange.
 l All the experts who saw the Yale Wesleyan game played under the new rules of football are agreed that the changes have improved the game from every point of view. Particu- larly is the spectacle better ;han il was. Not only Is very little time lost on account of injuries-an im- provement which has double ad' vantage. unless the players prefer broken bones-but the action when the ball Is in play is brisker and more entertaining It seems settled that if any alterations are made in the new rules they will be along the Hines of the reform which was so stubborn. ly resisted by the autocrats of the game. but which has now been amply vindicated.-New York Press.
 X telephone girl tells the Philadel' phia Record of a new use Of the teIe- phone. Three women occupy house 1 near where the girl lives They had been away in the country for some time when one day the operator was surprised to hear one of them call uT a pay station, asking for her own home number. The girl says: "1 rang the 'Thone several times. hut. as the house was closed. there was no ar swer. Then my curiosity got the better of me and I disclosed my iden' tlty and asked why she was calling her own number. when she knew tho house was closed That's just the point came the response over the wire rather tartly: we wish tO scart any burglars away if there are any in tbe house."