The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-06

Aho- 4ou saiQ you was interested In
mining $50 il, Miss Snowflake.
Kalsomining."-Life.
Madam-Bs sure to put plenty Of
nuts In the cake. Cook-Iu crack NO
more nuts to-day. Ne jaw hurts me
aiready.-Harper's Bazaar.
II don't like the man." why notr,
Il hadn't been talking to him ave
minutes before he said I was an idiot"
Why the delayY'-Judge.
Very Quick; First Russian-You
say the fight was quickly overf Sec
ond Russian-Yes, 1t was finished be-
fore You could say Jackopolinsky Ro-
manoffopolotowsky.
ONCE Boy--Wy, cert, want more
pay; I'm only getting ..four" a week,
and give my mother all / earn. Pro
prietor-What do you do with the 9TH
or three and half?-Puck.
Willie-Papa. II 1 was twins would
you buy the other boy a banana, too?
Papa-Certainly, my son. Willie
Well. papa, you surely amt going to
cheat me out of another banana Just
because I'm all in one piece?-Judge
Bronco Bill-what did Tough Tomp-
kins die Oft Grizzly Pete-well, the
poor guy needed change of air an
couldn't get it. Bronco Bill-Lung
trouble7 Grizzly Pete-No; he was
lynched.-Judge.
Il got fine job in dc business col
iege." "Gee-wot dyer dot" .De
wrftin' teacher hired me to shake de
table when de new pupils write, This
10 sample Of my handwriting before
began taking lessons "-Exchange.
Brilliant Billy: Bill had a BILL
board. Bill also had a board bill. The
board bill bored Bill, so that Bill sold
The billboard to pay his board bill. So
after Bill sold his billboard to pay his
board bill, the board bill no longer
,orad Bill.
Useless Expense: Lawyer-Now,
zee here; before take your case, / |
want to know If you're guilty Pris-
'ner-Am I guilty. Dyer suppose I'd |
be fool enough ter hire the most ex-
'enstve lawyer in the town II l wuz
do you know" said a Sunday
'chcol teacher addressing a new pupil |
n the infant class, that you have
oul?" Course I do" replied the lit
10 fellow, placing his hand over his
leart, ST can feel it tick."-Moberiy
MOI Monitor.
The Indian Bureau: .I've been
adm" said Pat, "a good dale In the
'apers about bureau for the Indians.
low, don't believe In their havin' a
bureau. / can't AFFORD to have bu-
eau mesilf! kape me papers in
'ox under the bed"
Parson-Of course you are not afraid
0 die. Brother Jones. Your good wife,
vho went before, will meet you at
he peariy gates,.you know. Sick Man
Yes; and peach Of dime I'll have
EXPLAINING to her all I've done for the
asst ten yearsL--Judge.
Another Heartless Monopolist: Mrs. Ii
Iabble-No, indeed, don't have that
roman doctor any more. A1rs. Query
Why. / thought You liked her. Mrs.
she got to be hateful. She
sed to keep the thermometer in my
louth nearly all the time, so that
ouldn't say word, while she monop-
lied the conversation.
A Lively Animal: He was a good
atured German, and his face fairly
canned as he walked into a drug
ore. The frst thing that caught his 4
ttention was an electric fan buzzing | /
usily on the soda counter. He looked |
It with great interest, and then .
irned to the clerk. "Py gollyv' he |
lid. smiiingly. ''dat's lily squirrel {
ot you got In dare. amt idY'-Lippln-
,tt's Magazine.
Refined Pork: Harold was playing
Keep store" and had prevailed upon
Ii grandmother to become one of his /.
atrons. When she appeared In the
lie Of customer he said: "Have some Z
Ice vegetables or fruit or meat7 Here {
some extra nice boiled ham. Have
,meT mo. thank you," she said. II :
mt like ham" "oh, but think
,u'd like this, ma'am. 1t Is hardly q
I hammy."-Lippincott's.
A Memory for Dates: A. school
acher was trying to impress upon a
holar's mind that Columbus discov.
ed America in 1892. NOW, john"
, said, II will tell you the date in
yme. 30 that you won't forget It. In
urteen hundred and ninety-two Co
mbus sailed the ocean b;ue.' Now.
n you remember that. John "Yes."
piled John. Next day the teacher
Id, .John, when did Columbus dis
yer America p "In fourteen hundred
ID ninety-three Columbus sailed the
rk-blue sea-"
the Opportunity: Here,
? good man.. she said one day last
EEK to man who had begged aims
her, here IL three-penny piece.
d please to understand that do not
re this because hope to be reward
for my charity some Say, but be-
uaa ~ Oivan mo raloo vxxrc e. ., |