Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1906-01-31
(CopyriShted)
Little Oily Learns That Insurance
Il n Great institution.

spectacles. Frequently of late have
discovered adverse references to il in
the daily prints
Insurance, my dear nephew" replied
Uncle George. laying his plumbers de-
light on the study table where its ash
could not by any possibility soil the car
pet, lis a form of public benefaction
that resolves itself into a heeney-
meeney-miney- mo proposition with
come of the advantages of button but
| ton-who' gothic button insofar as the
public are concerned. Originally in
tended as a soothing syrup for old age,
1t has risen during the last few years to
be something that savors more strongly
of charitable organization run on high
financial lines. with the organizers as
the chief beneficiaries. 1t is now in the
hands of cheerful gentlemen who find
their highest public duty is to them
| selves. and who are firm believers in that
ancient adage. Charity begins at home,
and always ends there
IF | was a vulgar. coarse, book max
ing person, billy. / should probably in
form you that there are two ways to get
insurance-going and coming. Did toy
| with the goddess. Chance. / might per-
haps mention that the philanthropists
in charge OF the insurance institutions
are playing both ends against the mid
die, but those colloquilisms we leave to
Mr.. AIDE. To be perfectly plain with you,
my dear nephew. insurance is chiefly
noted for what it is not. 1t may be CORE
lated with the ass in the lions skin, or
perhaps more properly speaking we
toh Inr . ~, . ,. l,,.lt
track tout who collects the funds for
foreign missions"
In the dictionary, dear uncle. I find
insurance defined as to provide
against, observed Little Oily.
The dictionary is correct, my dear
nephew but it fails to carry its defni-
ton far enough" said Uncle George.
with a quiet smile 1T does provide
| against, but you Will observe that TO be
an incomplete sentence. In the best in
surance circles. the good gentlemen who
occupy the chief positions have supplied
that defect in the chronological com
pendulum you refer to They have ampli
| fed ii to read 'Insure-to provide
! against the public getting any part OF the
coin. You will at once observe the
dclicacy with which this definition is
couched my boy; you will see in flash
the comprehensive possibilities of this
word as now amended and you cannot
fail to see the high purpose aimed at in
it's construction Those erudite persons
who compile the dictionaries sometimes
fail to convey all that word meaps. and
II is the Office OF those brilliant minds
who direct our large corporations to
Il, To-.
What a wealth OF conjecture is revealed
in that simple addition 10 The word you
quote. How thoroughly one feels at
once that here is a concrete thought
fully expressed. To insure against the
public getting any of the coin. Surely
that is insurance in its highest sense
But was not insurance originally de-
signed for precisely the opposite effect.
dear uncle?" inquired Little Oily.
ITO be sure" replied Uncle George.
easily but that Vas long ago. when
men were ignorant of the beneficial
heights TO which finance could be car
| ried The vague and untutored minds
who laid those plans did believe that the
public should be guarded against loss
did believe that the bereaved widows
and orphans should be protected but
that was long ago The Hydes the Nc
Curdys and the McCals with the as
sistance Of good Master Rockefeller and
his friends. soon pointed out The fallacy
OF permitting the public to have money.
Now 1t is thoroughly understood that
there are to be no mawkish sentiments
about poverty. honesty purity and
square dealing The public Is a fool.
I Of Al.
les TO fools. my dear nephew. II is sa-
cred trust. the guarding Of the public
funds It is not TO be lightly bestowed
on unworthy souls who might sauander
those diligently collected public mill
lions by reducing premiums or paying
! up policies One must be careful Is
u not far better to expend these vast
sums in enlightening the people? To be
sure. What pleasure 10 there to be com
pared to an insurance presidents son
] throwing widows money at the por-
poises Of the ocean? None. OF course
Is It not far better that S35 900 should
be spent In giving a ball to a foreign
actress at which the public is permitted
20 gaze at The red carpet laid down on
the outside steps. than TO think OF this
sum squandered for groceries? OF
course IL is. my boy"
THE vile press has limited dear uncle.
that these good gentlemen have stolen
millions OF public money. Surely this
could not be true?" asked Little Oily.
with panied establishment.
1T is extremely careless OF the press
OF the country. to make such state
ments." cried Uncle George. with as