The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17
SOCIOLOGEIS, HAEE WARNING.
rHg EtST SfDe 0R0 ttIrfs
Va tlssg HFIN0 sfrDlRR
~ Beesa't eaae ~ ~ HstHefsH w sprrs
tseiea ts'e fsHet WheW I've Wss'tHe1s
~ ~ WeHe afHe fhrfe the laWte ~
gVegV sHeee (gteg VgU IaUe lHta a.

tsetea tNfe fah go WheH TIVE " ashfHe'e
~ ~ tysWe afHe thrFe tHe same ~
eseff sHsfe WHeH tgu iHue iHts ~
The dus soi 6plu ygnr faas sldr. ~ M
srrtrtrgFts tutti ssn N IL IN fevuli and
hes fisef ssaiest iriha investigated except
w pfrv ms spruiagHen, srH ~ sterihsd
aava Ina lnhabltshts Hsvs ofasnis@i tho
Ahtl.a ,~lulasioal a,reiefr AMI Hr,enasfy
tha msmlsfa Will pm ~ slens IN The hall
NHva n lhe Aaf hc'tsea ~ tho ehect that
Peters, alumuefs and sociolgeIsta Afs
nuf shfnitlei Nv the pftvats s1aftmeh'a
I, 49, ausarsseh tina, me wutd 'stWdents'
No. addrd ~ the Warning, hh that was alyen
I'D, ~ every Tenement hotiae ~ The Fast
AlAa 10 hiil N ssudeAsa who Ivs thefr, Which
10 ona n thu many facts that tho soclcloRlsaa
don't e~em ~ appfcciate.
we had to Organise, . aid . cap maker,
VIM likea ~ have q strike NJ The shop oncs
In q whlle - that he'll have moPe lelsure 70
Rad . dead lsNRiaRs ~ learn smother I've
ono. we had ~ W aRhies berauee the
summers bothered the women ~, buttine
In when they wcre washing dlshee or cook-
ins.
'They uasd 10 cali themselves slummerp,
bu, now they're all sociologists and carry
notebooks, and are more Of . nuisance than
ever. There'd be Yale sociologists on Mon
days and vasear s~ootologists on Tuesdays,
/ Columbia sooiologista on Wednesdays and
Princeton sociologists on Thursdays. Then,
II there werc any open dates In the kitchen,
the aslf-mAde soclologists who hadnt had the
advantage Of a university training would
blow In and get nosy. But the untutored
investigators are not 90 bad "a the rah, rah
| .,halae. halattaa th0y In yhn'H Ian rnad an
many questions ont of the books TO ask our
wives and daughters when they catch them
at home,
"The unattached butter In will simply
insist on a housewife's telling what the lam
lily had for breakfast and what It cost. but
your young man from the university will
ask all that and then want to know how
much protein there Ia In the meat and how
much fat in the bread. and q lot more truck
Of that sort,
and don't like TO have perfeot strangers
burs: in on US at meal time n tell our
wives hoe they ought to set, the table and
suggest that we ought TO take all the pict-
places and then nibble at the food to see
II they think it's good, and wind up by ask
ing how we can afford to have a piano
and what members Of the family, II any.
are now In Jail or how many relatives we
have In putter's field.
But the East Side has kind Of got used
to that and II 1t had the time wouldn't mind
seeing the sociologists once in a while, he
cause they are funnier than anything in
the Grand street vaudeville shows. But
when 1t got so that they came every day in
squads and rairs and singles we had to
do something in order to save time. II
they'd all come on the same day or II they
knew what they wanted themselves, or
had the same ideas as to how to save the
world and the East Side, II would be easier
for the victims. hut thew don't,
Take my Rebecca, now, for an example.
She can read Hebrew and Latin and English,
and onoo before we we're married she took
a prize in arithmetic at Cooper Union. h
come down to enlighten her Just the same.
One bunch will float in on Monday morn
ing when she's washing. ThereW be three
or four Of them. one OF whom Is apparently
The rest are girls. anyway, They, all
wear glasses and have notebooks in their
hands and take it for granted that my
Rebecca can't understand English.
After walking in as II they paid the
rent they'll begin to sniff and write down
the number OF chairs and cay to each other
that they don't see how human beings can
live that way. whereupon Rebecca will
politely ask them in good English TO sit
down on the chairs they. have beer
them, for every sociologist likes to go back
to some jerkwater college OF other and
tell those who are not in the sociological
GLASS how they had to get their information
by pantomime.
Next, they'll look squeamish and brush
off the seats of the chairs with their hand
kerchiefs and then they'll sit down. That
makes my Rebecca kind of mad, for she's
very neat, But she's very polite, too, 80
she asks them what she can do for them.
Once, just for a joke, she asked them to
have some breakfast, but she'll never do
that again, for the investigators pulled the
food all to pieces without eating any and
smelt of it, and ont Of the party looked at
some good kosher meat through a micro
scope that he had or his watch chain and
then they took the leavings away in q tin
box to enalyze. as they told Rebecca. That
did make her mad. But she got over it
that she called The Sociologists' Call that
. little club of ours performed forthe benefit
Of a relief fund.
We'll. as I was saying, one crowd comes
In when Rebecca is washing, and they tell
her how sorry they are to find her ,drudging
and tell her to leave the tubs and improve
her mind by reading. Then they'll nose
through our four rooms and seem disap-
pointed that we're not crowded into one,
and when they see the piano and the phono-
and after limiting that Rebeoca's husband
must be a counterfeiter to have 80 many
luxuries that are contrary to their books
they'll 60 away, and RebeccaM hurry to
uulSu ncI WdsliuB Doiolc IHc hOAp Sio"o
comes.
in the afternoon she's probably reading
or playing the piano, and the investigators
that find her at that look pleased and excited
and take notes fast and seem to think that
they've got into a disorderly house and are
seeing real low life at last. Perhaps they'll
be a little diffident and simply tell her that
she ought to be in the kitchen, where the
morning sociologists told her that she ought
not to be. Perhaps they'll be real bold
and tell Rebeoca that they want to help
her lead a better life and ask her how she
fell. Then she Shoes EN- out. They prob
ably report to their friends as having
barely escaped with their lives from a den
OF vice.
$50 you see it made homework so hard
on the East Side that the tenants had to
do something, and we have all decided that
We don't want to be investigated any moro
without previous notice and that we can
have callers that we never heard Of before
butting in every day.
@Do you notice the stores in hat Grand
street block next to where we're stand
ing? In one block there's a dealer in
lace curtains, a book store, two jewelry
stores, a piano store and a dealer in small
safes. There are a lot Of business blocks
like that on the East Side, and they are all
supported by the patronage from the tene-
rnnnta p,Yt tha aooiploniuto ha xran't Aia-