The Topeka state journal., 1906-05-07
HUMOR or TIE DlY

HUMOR OF THE DNY
Something must be don't to curb the
arrogance OF the men who own the raal-
~oh. dunnos rejoinea Farmer Corn
tossel; Z once met man that owned
whole lot o. railroad stock. Compared
TO some ticket agents an conductors he
Star. 50
'.Wot does dey mean BY fads' IN de
public schools, Jimmy2"
'Aw. .readin'. writin'. 'rfthmetic. geogz-
raphy. his,it'rg. grammar, an al dem lziEa'
Knicker-Is Newrich happy7
Bocker-No; by the time fortunes cup
came to him his wife wouldn't let him
drink out Of the saueer.-BrookIyn Life.
1T isn't any OF my business I know
remarked Uncle Allen Sparks. but i
seems to me that what New. FORK state
needs needs Is q couple Of distinguished ex-sen-
ators. Chicago Tribune
1T seems as II everything was adulter-
ated nowadays said the aIarnist.
ep. ,agreed Plungers about tne only
nerve. detroit Free Press.
Opportunity hammered on the mans
door until he awoke.
He achieved SUCCESS.
And spent a long time in attributing his
success 10 his own keenness--Lou.sville
zone can't be too polite
TO hold your 'overcoat when the lining was
ripped in the sleeve?''-Indianapol Star.
He claims that his private record WIN
pear pear the strictest scrutiny. Do you beliexe
Well wouldn't be surprised if there
was something in it. 1 never heard OF bis
lending any money to society publica-
tons. Baltimore American.
There's fame and fortune awaiting for
some young woman"
THE one who succeeds in making happy
marriages fad."-Detroit Free Press.
Briggs-Bnter's daughter did very wen
In literature, didn't she2
Griggs-Yes. indeed. I understand she
inade money enough on her first novel to
get herself an education.-Life.
Mrs. Knicker..1s your husband an after
Mrs. Bocker-No, but he does a power
Tul lot OF grumbling during it--Brooklyn
Tomny--What is automatic?
name we give something that won't
Work-Philadelphia Record
sharpe-Your boy has hne head.
Wise-Its too large.
Sharpe-Too large?
ark Advertiser.
,Aliee-Pa was talking about young Mr..
thoroughly trustworthy and honest.
Kate-Yes, I think he is. He wouldn't
even steal klss.-Somerville journal.
The husband of Mrs. vick-senn had re-
You may lead me. verena.'' he said.
but l want you to understand that you
Nor shriily answered mrs. vios-senn.
you can't be driveni That's clearl Your
head Is too soft and your feet are too
big Chicago Tribune.
Cain had introduced his wife to the rest
Of the family.
Where did you get her2' asked Adam,
Hd.1 decline to answer responded Cain.
ed getting himself into q serious theolog-
ieal mixup--Chicago Tribune.
There's one thing said Fweddy. as
the train containing his best girl moved
on, that a woman can throw straight,
what's thaty'' asked cholly.
It's a kiss, deah boy. Hawi Haw."-
Chumpley-sYes, we've. organized an am
ateur dramatic club and we're looking for
an appropriate title and motto for it.
4 Jlgley-Mant good motto eh2
JigIeyEWhy not aThink twice before
you act?''-Philadelphia Press.
Well said Jokely, concluding one OF
his best stories, I haven't noticed you
laughing to any great extent
why. man alive, that was joke just
"Oh, come, now, say; how could it
be joke If it does not make one iawf7''
Philadelphia Press.
Have much of an audience for the
opening performance Of your new ex-
travaganza2" asked the first manager
ger ''AlI the ccIlaborators on the blamed
thing were there. '-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Church, see a man IS working on a
meter to record how long a man talks on
the telephone.
-Yonkers Statesman
scribbles-when nrst saw her
thought she was beautiful
Jenks-Yes. you know you told me the
other day that you had written a sonnet
scribbies-Yes. and guess she wasn't
very beautiful after all. Anyway the
sonnet was ejected.-PhiladelDhia Lad
ger.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
LFrom the Chicago News.J
Justice may be blind, but she has
good memory
Too many of the things we ask for
are not worth having.
Many a so-called political boom
turns out to be a boomerang.
Almost any striking color Is appro-
PIRATE for an automobile.
What's the matter with the manu-
facturer of corsets as q re-former2
The pace that kills wouldn't be so