Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1906-06-29
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Budd, has her picture in to-days papel.
Her-Indeed! What was she cured OH
Scissors.
Rodney-Do you have u WIFE
"shalI" and will? Dickey-Nope;
my wife says you shall" and say
II will."-Puck.
us your little brother in the house.
Jimmy?' Sure he is. Don't yer see
dat shirt Of his hang:l' on the line"
Cleveland Leader.
Mary-They Issued a hundred ana
fifty wedding Invitations. Jane-Dld
they get many valuable creseLis: Jane
No; they barely made expenses.
Guest (facetiously )-"here are two
spoons in my tea cup. What IS that
a sign Of? Hostess Lite Son-Jhats
a sign that someone else hasn't got any
spoon.
Gramercy-Why not tax out OF
Bridget's wages enough to pay for the
things she breaks? Mrs. Gramercy-
But. my dear, how could we get her
to pay US the balance each month!
Compulsory education" remarked
the moralizer, sis contrary to the laws
of nature" "Oh, l don't know" re-
Joined the demoraliZer. Even the
fishes are to be found in schools, you
know"
why does all the world love a
loyer?' Because" answered Miss
Cayenne, "it fiatters our vanity to oD-
serve people who are in love and think
how much more sensible we are by
comparison"
No truer words were ever spoken
than these: a TOOL and his money are
soon parted" said the lecturer. sure
thing" piped a voice from the rear OF
the hall; I'VE all gave up fifty cents
apiece to get in here!"
Il can't decide" she said, whether
to take the hat or not. But IT IS just
the dearest thing l haze seen MS sea-
son." THE dearest:" asked the nus
hand. with q sardonic laugh linen
It's certain that you'll a k it,
II am afraid you are one Of those
nAonIe who Look down on TOLL moi
at ALL" answered the luxurious youth.
INV Observation-Disclosures worked
hard and invested his money. and we
are quite pleased with him for doing
so."-Tit Bits.
Lady engaging cook)-Why did you
leave your last place? Bridget Ma
loney-Whoi, mum, the mistress SAID
she cudn't do widout me, so OF came
to the conclusion that Oi was worth
--- Ill.,, che ,-oc uirin' me. and (1
lift at wanst!-Pick-Me-Up.
81 tell you, man was not meant to
live alone. The young man In business
who is not married is seriously hanol-
capped" That's what! Not being abie
to put his property In his wifc's name,
he's q. the mercy of his creditors"
Catholic Standard and Times.
Teacher-If l gave you Is cents, nj
you had spent 8 cents for candy, z for
marbles, and / cent for an apple, what
| would you have left? Tommy-Fffteen
cents. Teacher-Now, how can you
give such q silly answer? Tommy
would. I'd charge tho stuf to pa.
.Mr. Buggins," said the attending
! physician gravely, II am afraid your
| wife's mind is gone" "Well, I'm not
surprised" replied Mr.. B. She's been
| giving me a piece of 1t every day for
! twenty-three years, and h didnt have
! a whole lot to start on!"-Washington
Life.
"This is the first time you have been
to prayer meeting in a long time" said
the pastor Of a colored congregation.
II had to come" replied Erastus Pink
/! ley Il needs strength'nin'. Use got a
lob whitewashin' a chicken coop an
buildin' a fence around a watermelon
Observation-Disclosures Star.
"That barber seems to be doing o
rushing business" Eyes. He has In
vented a hair tonic that smells exactly
like gasoline" "But-er-1 don't see
the point" "It tickles the vanity Of
his patrons. They go around smelling
Of gasoline, and this gives the impress
! sion that they own automobiles
! Exchange.
Absentminded.-It is reported that
Rev. A c., of Boston, had a new
telephone introduced and he became
80 fascinated with 1t during the week
that on the next Sunday morning he
| startled his congregation by
ing: "Give US hymn Double-One-O-
Six-Three!"
Lives there a man who has not said,
Tomorrow I'll get out of bed
! At 6 o'clock and get things don
Before the setting Of the sum-
Lives there q man who has not said,
At 6 a. M, How good this led
Does feel" and SHORES till af.er 8,
Then wondered how he slept so late?
Grace G.. Bostwick, in Wonap's Home
Companion.
An innkeeper once had the good for
tune to entertain his Sovereign, who
consumed, among other things. a couple
Of g for which he was charged 4
guinea apiece. Eggs must be very
scarce here remarked his Royal High
ness, as he ann the oil. mo, SIRE"
was the answer, but Kings are."-
Argonaut
And you're not married after ali
these years" NO." replied the old
bachelor friend whom he had not seen
for a long time, II don't seem to have
any luck. But I've started eli a new
plan. / bought an aid to courtship yes
terday." You don't mean to tell me
you'd follow one OF those absurd
books Book, nothing. Mines an
Observation-Disclosures Journal.
.I-H.Ar