The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-12
IN A LONDON BUS.
Lots of cranks. But They Warm to
American Cousin.

Mrs. John Lanes description of the IN
mates of a London bus makes a pretty
good picture of our own street car types
The two passengers at the door she
says in the Fortnightly Review are
either good Samaritans or mlsanthropes
who rejoice when you stumble getting in
Then there are the oblivious ladies VINO
resent being mildly urged to 'move up,
the young person who doesn't know
where she is going but has 1t written on
a piece of paper, which she can't ma
and the suspicious female who studies
the list of fares with the intention of
catching the conductor cheating.
One is accustomed also to the woman
who has received too little change and
who just when the bus thinks 1t looks
pretty bad for the conductor, hnds
stray shilling on her lap whereupon she
looks more grim than ever
OF course, there Is always a cholerlc
old gentleman who is hauled In painting,
and threatens to report the conductor for
inattention. That there are always in
Vulnerable people who are placidly pro-
ceeding in the opposite direction from
their destination goes without saying.
In bed weather there Is always an
American inside with a handbag and an
inaulring mind, whoBe destination We
are at once told is either the British
Museum or Westminster Abbey. She
asks many questions, but to her the bus
heart opens IN oyerhowing sympathy.
She is not a foreigner; no, indeed. In
formation is showered on her.
Fatherly old gentlemen emerge from
protecting newspapers and volunteer ad-
Vice. Even the conductor, affected by
this epidemic of benevolenee, allows his
bus to come to a full stop as he helps
her out and points out the right direc-
ton. All. yes. blood is thicker than
waterl
There is the benevolent party who
leaves his morning paper as legacy to
the conductor. And one bitter winter
day | saw one dear soul give him his
warm gloves. for the mans thin, worn
hands were purple with the cold.
OF course, there is always the fond
mother, usually without front teeth, who
holds her Johnny on her lap as on
throne. Johnny wears on his head
white plush muffin He Is friendly
little soul with but hazy notion as to
the masculine author of his being, Tor
he greets rapturously a very swagger
young man with monocle and other
hallmarlxs of extreme fashion as dada,
to the young mans unspeakable anguish
and the stony amusement OF the otner
passengers.
We have all come across the strenuous
,to Ri N and PlamOrS Tor
fresh air. She boarded bus in which
was the other day-a bitter cold day.
without apology she flung open Win
dow. and her thin Roman nose gulped In
with rapture great icy whifts or real
hurricane. Then she sat down and said
something very impolite about microbes
to a companion.
She had loud, assertive voice, ana
she talked with a great display of white
teeth, like tombstones. Whereupon the
whole bus felt Inundated at having been
so ohlivious to microbes.
Suddenly out of a corner there rose
little old lady like a mouse, and with a
determination that was like cast iron.
but pleasantly covered by velvet, she
closed the offending window with soft
thud For a second the lady with the
Roman nose stared at the mouse, and
then she turned away with a toss of her
head. but she did not open the window
again.
faint smile of triumph fitted across
the bus What right has any one in
renublic to demand fresh ain at the point
of the bayonet? 1t is really the most
humiliating insult you can offer to any
one. 1t puts you at once on superior
social footing, for the lower you are
in the social scale the less you care what
you breathe.