The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-15

and trouble in floating my sawiogs
about it.
I favor a strenuous policy. A feller
is either a devil of a Teller or no lei
Ter at all That's the way with a good
doctor. He either cures or Kills you
right off and saves any waiting around
In entering the town of Happy JACK
the other afternoon, my reception was
as hostile as could be looked for More
than one hundred eggs of unknown age
had been thrown at me before nad
a chance to explain. The people nao
taken me for the agent of a sausage
trust-one travelling through the west
and delivering lectures on the veget-
able and seeking to convince the
masses that the oftener 1t is ground
over the more enthusiastic It becomes.
When / had identified myself, the
band wagon began to play Hail to the
Chief" the popuiaee swarmed around
me with shouts of affection, and 1t re-
oufred the services of two handker-
chiefs to overcome my fearful emo
tons.
That evening. after the sale of six
tn bottles of the Alleviator on the pub
lice square, I opened my show OF NOV
ing pictures. 1t was the first thlng OF
the kind ever seen in the town. ana II
went with a whOop. The first picture
shown was that of General Washing
ton walking ont at Valley Forge as ne
was canned there for the winter The
snow is three feet deep, and more tali-
ing. and he moves along with ms
hands behind his back and tears IN MS
eyes. He has had nothing TO eat 1or
two days and has just passed a soluler
who Is eating the leather of his boot
1a0s The great man Is cast down, al
though determined to battle 70 the
end lust before he is lost sight OF
~ he slowly moves along he takes q
handkerchif out OF his pocket aho
vines his tears away. DON say
word I don't have to. AS ehe Pr
tire vanishes I ind my auolence ~
tears and doing more thlLhIias ~ 81
George in three minutes .iAsA'A
49, 6one in ten years before.
10 f+<s, oa,1tioning the audience not -
- ~, Alleviator of any druggist VINO
cannot furnish a certlncale u SSi1et,- -
fer I nut forward my secolfu PASS 49,, =
r. n,as that of two men hmping alohs
- @e1s 5rearv desert. It was seen at
o7,ca that they were in the direse ais
t,a.s one of them finally throws up
his hands and falls, and the othsI 1ls1le9
and sits down and removes the news
s1a1,eT vyrapping from a. package ne IL
-, = .-;,,s. ,7I,der one arm. The audience
i an the oui vive to see the contents,
go daily with them for minute 10
let curiosity be aroused 70 tne tils s.o
mitch. Then the thing IS seen 70 DS .
hoy of canned stuff. It IS iaoeleo'
"Prime Roast Chicken ana lne auul
enee gives shout OF relleI, Ira SDatN
ing men are to be saved
The man with the can works away
with a can opener, and seems 70 pe
encouraging his comrade all the time,
and presently the contents OF the can
are exposed to view. The man sInlles
and raises his eyes to Heaven 1heh
he takes a sniff, and falls over as II
struck dead The audience turns 10 me
For an Exclamation. and I explain that
what was labelled prime Roast
CHECKER turns out to be only bob-veal
and that the two men on the desert
have given up the struggle and VIII de
The Happy Jack audience rose to the
OCCASION. Not being able to lay their
hands on the packers of the can, they
pitched upon q crosS-eyed man VINO
had once worked in a, slaug hter-house,
and tore the clothes of his back ana
threw him out Of the window.
The third picture presented repre-
scented the evils Of drink. There is
PROCESSION of men entering barroom
and calling for beer with the utmost
recklessn ess, while outside, and moving
about in rags and sorrow, are women
and children who have been turned out
Of their homes and have no place to go
and nothing to eat have shown this
picture to audiences that Wept for ten
minutes, but at Happy JACK II mad a
different effect. The audience no doubt
pitied the poor women and children,
but the sight of the saloon reminded
them that they were thirsty, and I had
to allow an interval of fifteen minutes
for them to visit the nearest saloons.
Other pictures appealing to patriot-
ism, sentiment, grating and the loft
Ter ideas in human nature followed.
and the evening was marked by an era
OF good feeling that may extend over
three or four states before it thins
out am not only doin' my best to
lift up my feller-man, physically and
morally, but to add such attractions to
my outfit as viii draw the children
and instiIl the proper precepts into
their young minds. Any one having a
kangaroo for sale may address me and
give lowest price. He must be chuck
full of philanthropy and willing to sac
c1ine.3