, 1906-06-13
How II Turned Out.

There came n light knock at the door OF the
capitalists private Office.
"Come in,n he said.
The door opened and a tall, spare man in
a suit of faded black, with a portfolio under
his arm, entered the room
ais this Mr.. Welloph?" asked the caller.
ayes sir"
"My name is-but it doesn't matter. l
represent Opportunity. You will remember
that | knocked Just once at your door. | got
that off on the spur of the moment. Not bad,
is it2''
''What can l do for your"
Gan | want is five minutes of your time.
l think l can convince you that it will not be
wasted"
Opening his portfolio, he took out a SET of
drawings.
'eThese, Mr.. Welloph," he said, care the
plans and specifications, so to speak, of a little
invention of mine. Icall it The Household
Protector, or, The Porch Climbers Nemesis. ,
1t consists Of"
"But why have you come TO me with it?"
"Because, sir, it appeals to you not only as
a man of property, much of which is of a port
able nature and needs to be guarded, but it
appeals to you as a philanthropist-"
"Cut that out"
Gan right, sir. 1t affords you, we will saw,
an opportunity for profitable investment,
while at the same time it encourages invent
i've genius. 1t can be explained in a few
words. This device is intended, specifically,
to discourage the porch climber. 1t consists,
as you see, of what appears, when viewed
from a short distance, to be the ordinary roof
of a porch or portico, but it rests on ball bear
ings, which are cunningly concealed on the
under side"
Here he took another set of drawings out
of the portfolio.
'"This shows the interior mechanism" he
continued. at works on the principle of the
old fashioned horse power, in which the horse
itself supplies the power by walking up an
inclined platform which perpetually slides
from under the poor animal, thereby compell-
ing it to walk eternally without going any
where. Now, observe. This harmless look
ing roof is really an endless belt. Moving,
as it does, oil ball bearings, it responds much
more readily to the propulsive force. The
unsuspecting burglar, having climbed the pill
lars of your porch, steps confidently on the
roof, his covetous gaze fixed upon the nearest
window. No sooner has he made a forward
movement than the roof slides down with
him. Uttering an involuntary yell as his form
hulAlCS tiiouSh Nv All Nv SSpuiibiC iaiiS W
the ground, landing on his back and placing
himself hors de combat at once. Awakened
by his blood curdling screech you proceed lei
surely to the telephone, call up the police,
and inform them hat a disabled burglar at
your house awaits their attention. 1t only
remains, therefore"
''You needn't go any further" interrupted
the capitalist. 81 care to put any money
into your invention ~
''Not even to order a movable roof for the
protection of your own premises, sir?"
"Not even that"
The inventor folded up his drawings and
replaced them in the portfolio.
''That settles it, Mr.. Welloph, The said.
''You have had your opportunity and lost it.
| predict that you will regret it. / have the
honor to wish you a good afternoon"
That same night Mr.. Welloph's mansion
was entered by a porch climber, apparently
with the utmost ease, and $4,000 worth of
rare ~jewelry was carried away with neatncss
and dispatch.
No clew to the operator.
But Mr.. Welloph is making anxious inquir-
les concerning a tall, spare man, wearing a
suit of faded black, who seems TO lave dis
appeared.
The police, also, are looking for him.--Chi-
cago Tribune.