The Washington times., 1906-07-09
TOOK 4 WONDROUS
BEAR-BACK RIDE
Deacon AStride of Bruin
Cause of UprOariOuS
Merriment.
JOKE OF THE TERRIBLE TWINS
Got Even With Old Enemy and the
Whole Village Had Coco
Laugh.


CHITTENDEN, VI. July Good
ness gracious. hub, what on airth be
ye a-tryin' 10 do!' exclaimed Uncle Ben
Morse when a giant hrecracker, eNplod-
ing beneath his chair on the stoop OF
the general store on the Fourth. awoke
him from an afternoon nap with nerve
wTaCktng suddenness just as three small
culprlts giggled their way to cover be-
hind Sim Jones' oXcart. ''Thundera-
ton! We might s well kin a man 3 to
skeer him t death-an Just as l was
dreamin' Of lookin' right into the berril
. the enemy's cannern 10 the second
battle o. Bull Run"
"Sho, uncle. what in time dye ex-
pect If ye 90 TO roost on the glOr Gus
Fourth, Jest like an owl. when y'ed orter
be out with the boys. bangin away
with your blundeTbuss." laughed Sim.
who had been drawn 10 the door by the
explosion.
wal, wal, so tits the Fourth. now I
come 10 think ont" admitted Uncle
Ben. somewhat moIlihed. An 1 dunno
but what I should ha' done the same
thing when l was "A young an. lhey 90
tell that I was a reg lar cut-up. nut
them TWOmbley Twins. say. Sim, did
We ever hear your father tell how tf"-1
twins come u over Deacon Eph Wa
ner back IN 23t
Sim a Good Listener.
Sim hadn't heard or if he had he pre-
tended he hadn't and when Uncle Ben
made sure that no more disturbing
crackers lurlIed in his vicinity he kicked
back in his chair and let 90 OF the yarn
while the aggregation camped about In
easy positions.
In those days we didn't have no such
things as hifalutin firecrackers to set
ye on aidge an burn holes in your
pants" began the veteran, but the
young fry made jest as much noise as
they do nov, and I dunno but more.
We ulster make cannern out o. hlckry
laWgs and bind en- with wire and hoops
from hawgsheads. and when one on EN-
busted some one most allus lost a laig
or an arm or leastWise, finger,
AT the time I'm tellin' about the
TwOmbley twins had rigged up an Of
buster and all the boys and some Z the
folks had ChiDped in and bought enough
powder 10 blow hole clean through
Of Fort TicOnderOgue- They was a-gOlu'
10 set her off on the village common. but
Deacon Warner who hated them twins
like he hated pizen because they W as
allus playin' tricks on him, set his foot
down. 'HOu'N halter gWup the noun
tain if ye wan 70 % any shooun', says
ne, for I'm constable an 1 won't have
& round the village.
The Deacon "a Contrary Cuss."
THE deacon was the alI-nredest con-
trarv cuss We ever see when he got his
mind made up to anythin'. and though
some o. the neighbors spoke up for
the twins Eph stuck by his cOlors and
got real het up over the racket You're
a mess Z doduks, the whole bilin' o We,
SAYS ne. and I guess III so along my
self an see that ye don't break no laws
nor ordinances. Ye never can tell what
them pesky tWinsu do next consarn
'em'
wall, when the twins heard that the
deacon was a-goIn' along they begun
tC snicker an laugh 'emselyes inside
out, Bud TWOmbey allowed that II the
OF man was eoin' 10 set in Judgment
on the nrin' of the cannon er show EN-
how 10 celebrate the Glorious Fourth an
sofuth. he'd give him a mighty interest
in time. So ne sOt ont up the mountain
and never come back ul dark WAeh
he did get home ne ana MS DFotheI
Hank laughed most all night ana next
. mornin' got lurrible busy and luggln
the caunern to ThOmpson's Gorge, three
mile abOHt the vapage.
brate. but the twins owned the gun,
and there want no other way out OF
IT, So when II come along TO o CLOCK
the night b'fore the Fourth, about
took up the trail. They found the
canneTn sot with its muzzle p.intin' INTO
the mouth of an OF cave Jest oeloW
which was a pond or the meanest
sticIliest muck ye ever saw. All along
the cliff, which formed one side 4 the
gorge, were other caves, and the twins
allowed that as the Cannern was dan
gerous every man he'd better get in a
hole when she went of.
Looked Terrible Queer.
Most o. the holes were s small We
had to lie down in 'em, but one was big
enough L stand In. and the deacon spoke
up for il. Sims father ruther wanted
It, but the twins showed him away. and
the deacon was soon standin' right in
the mouth with his laigs spread aaprt
and his mouth open. This 'ere's tn
way L fix yerself so't ye won't git
deef. says he. That's the way they do
10 June trainin'.
They looked turrible queer in the
moonlight with their mouths open an
their fingers stuck in their ears. and
] thought that was what the twins was
gigglin at when they lit a piece of
paper over the britch hole In the can
nen- But il wa n l. II was at what
they was hOpIu' was EOin' TO happen,
and what did happen.
Il never heard such a turrible roar,
not even 10 Bull Run, as when the
charge went of into the mouth o. that
cave, but il want q Iuppence to the
noise that fouered. 1t was the deacon
yellin'; for out of the cavern behind
him had come an OF she bear and
ecudded ri ght between his laigs. The
smoke. il seems, had come in TO her
through an Opeuin' or "a passageway,
and she was Hghtin out about as fast
as she knew how. The vent beiu' mar
rer, she knocked Eph's underpinnin
gaIly west. and down he come a-straddle
OF her back.
"Of course he hung on, because he
dassn't leggO, and when we got an eye
ON him the varment was shassayin' for
the muck hole roarin' as she run and
now and then huckln- ike BIlL Peterses