davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17
The Difficulty.

Two Irishmen driving through
the country noticed that many Of
the barns had weatheryanes in the
shape Of huge roosters.
Pat" said one man to the 9th
er, "can you tell me " they ALWAYS
have a rooster and re hen on
the top iv thin barns
Sure" replied Pat. IAN it must
be because av the dniiculty they d
have in collecting the egg" Chi
cago News.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17
Kerosene For Cleaning.

When Washing WOODWORK Il kero-
sene is put in the water instead of
soap fly specks and grease will come
off quicker and easier. \ good
quality of kerosene cleans windows
and mirrors best. but poor quality
or oil with dregs in it leaves the
glass streaked. Soap must not be
used with kerosene for glass.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17

Pare, cut into thick slices and
soak in cold water half an hour.
Wipe dry, egg and crumb, season
with salt and pepper and fry in
deep fat. Drain and serve hot and
dry with mayonnaise or slices of
lemon. These are a good accom-
paniment to mutton outlets or a
mince.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17

Tess-Mr. Huggard told me he'd
like to kiss me, and then he added
that if | treated him coldly he'd go
away and never come back. So |
told him he could do as he liked.
Jess-Ah, So he didn't kiss YOU?
Tess-No. and | felt so mortified,
the stupid thing! - Philadelphia
Press.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17

"Say, paw" queried little Tom
my Toddles, who are the city au-
thorities !"
The city authorities, my son"
replied Toddles senior, ARE officials
who claim to have no authority
when the dear public wants some
thing done" Detroit Tribune.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17
In Self Defense

Major IIamm, editor aud manager OF
thr Cousttutionalist. Emiurucr, Ky,
when he MAS hercely attacked, four years
ago, 10y Piles. bought box of tisckl~n'>
Aruica Salye, OF which he SAYS at
cured me in ten days and no trouble
since" Quickest healer OF Burus. Sores,
Gut, aud Wounds pc at john ".
Thurstou's drug store.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17

Eva-I met Edna down at the
book sale the other day, and she
bought FIVE books on electricity.
katharine-Yes, she heard that
there is electricity in kisses.-Chi-
cago News.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17
Rstributlor to Come.

81 baked this cake this morning."
began Mr. Newliwed. Mrs. Mex
dore gave me the recipe for it."
Never mind, dear" replied her
brutal husband; lust bide your
time, and you'll get even with her
some dav."-Houston Post.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17
Appropriate.

"Thev used to have coach dogs.
Now they have automobile dogs. In
time they will have airship dogs"
HIN. l wonder what kind of
dog an airship dog would be-"
"Why, a skye, Of course. New
Orleans Times Democrat.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17
Can Opener Versus Corksersw.

at seems quite evident" remark
ed the observer of events and things,
"that the can opener has revealed
more deadly stuff than the cork
screw ."-Yonkers Statesman.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17
The PLAYWRIGHT,

Hi Tragedy-Did they call for
the author?
Vii Ayne-Call for him? Why,
they came up on the stage after
him.-Judgs.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17
A Relief.

Il suppose YOU are enjoying your
vacation"
yes" answered the member OF
congress. at is something of re-
lief to have a real excuse for not
doing ANYTHING. ashington Star.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17

Dolly-But are his intentions sin
cere;
Polly-Well. in his love letters
he never writes Please destroy. =
Brooklyn Eagle
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-08-17

you buy is important. but not 80
important a. what you get.
Shop al the
CROSS STREET PHARMACY.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21
ASTORIA. .TILLAM00K.

1t were well that the best and most
progressive of the business life of As
toria should be present at the Tillamook
County Fair and Carnival this week, in
order that the ice may be broken be-
tween the commercial forces of the two
cities and the preliminaries laid for the
interchange of traffic and business on
the completion of the Hammond exten-
sion to the latter city There is no time
to lose in this venture. The claim Of
Astoria to the first handling of the
Tillamook exports is paramount, and it
is the duty of the Astoria merchants to
get in any lay the predicate upon which
the united energies of the two counties
and cities may operate to the assured
success of both. The determination of
the Hammond system to force the road
to an early finish is plainly apparent
and leaves but little time for concerted
effort; there are others who will not
lose moment of it, in camping on the
trail of the immense business that will
develop; Portland, San Francisco,
Seattle, and other places will have their
agents in there at once, and if Astoria
sits idly by and let's this valuable trade
go by her doors, she will be wilfully
and wofully negligent. ...
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21
SAMPLE ROAD EXCELLENT.

SALEM, August lS,--Eleven hundred
feet OF the object lesson maeadam road
being constructed on the road leading
from this city to the State Fair grounds
by the government, under the supervis,
ion OF d, G. Haire, OF the Good Roads
Bureau, Department of Agriculture has
been completed and all who have seen
il say that il is the best piece OF maea.
dam road they have ever seen. Super
intendent Haitre says that he win con-
tinue working upo nthe road until tho
State Fair opens, or he gets orders to
move some place else, which latter he
is expecting almost daily. The road
crew is being assisted by eight convicts
from the penitentiary,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21
VIEW IMPROVEMENTS.

HOOD RIVER, Ore, August 20.-Con.
siderable activity is being manifested by
railroad officials in the Improvement
now under way on the o. R. & N. line
Chief Engineer Boschke, in special car
went over this division Of the road
Thursday with party of engineers in
specting it, and yesterday J. Kruttsch-
nit, director of maintenance and ways
of the Hartman lines, went East in n
special train Of three cars with a force
of clerical employees, including his priv
ate secretary and Division superintend-
ent Campbell. The new book signal
system and bridge work in course of
construction came in for their scrutiny.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21
WEATHER.
THE GILLIAN HORROR.

1t win be several days yet before a
comparative estimate can be drawn be-
tween the earthquake horrors of Chill
and California. but the dreadful assur-
ance is out, that Valparaiso has suffer
ed to a tremendous and bitter limit, and
that her claim on the generous impulses
of humanity are as imperative as was
that of the Pacific metropolis. She had
not so much to lose in point of possess
sions, public and private, as the greater
city of the north. but her mortality is
infinitely larger, and this is the element
of all disaster that appeals to the heart
of the world. And the world will re-
spond in time, and largess, to the last
measure of her necessities.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21
100000 MOTHERS
Daily Tell Other Mothers

That Cuticura Soap Is the best baby
soap In the world for cleansing and
purifying the skin, and that Cuticura
Ointment is Of priceless value for
soothing and healing itching, tortur-
ing, and disiiguring eruptions. A single
application Of Cuticura Ointment, pre-
ceded by warm bath with Cuticura
Soap, gives instant relief, and refreshing
sleep for skin-tortured babies, and rest
for tired mothers. Battle the af-
fected parts with hot water and Cuti-
cura Soap, TO cleanse the surface OF
crusts and scales and soften the thick
ened cutiele; dry without hard rub
bing, and apply Cuticura Ointment
freely, to allay itching and inAamma-
ton, and Soothe and heal.
cuticun Soap, olnImsn and pls are snld tAfcsghcuA
nswofd. Potter Drug Chem. Corp. soils Pfupa Dosspn.
ar Mailed Free, +" How 10 casv Iotnsing llaEnsss.s
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21
WELL TO REMEMBER.

While the Portland interest is practi'
cally responsible for the clearance of the
river-channel from Portland to the sea
it is well to remember that the people
of Oregon are paying the $3.50 per day
for the use of the dredge Columbia,
which said sum goes into the treasury
of the Port of Portland commission to
help pay back the cost of that good and
serviceable boat to the city that built
and owns it. The Portland Influence"
the Portland "effort," and the Portland
dollar" are three separate and dis
tinct things with three separate and
distinct objects; that of the latter be-
ing to remain undisturbed in the Port
land ''jeans."
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21
SKIN ERUPT|ONS
FOR 35 YEARS.
Suffered Severely With Eczema All
Over Body Examined IS Times
by Government Board Who Said
There Was No Cure-An Old
Soldier Completely Cured.
A THOUSAND THANKS
TO CUTlCURA REMEDIES

"For over thirty-hvc years was o
severn sufferer from eczema. Tho erup-
tion was not confined TO any one place.
II was all over my body, limbs,
and even on my head. am sixty
years old and an old soldier, and have
been examined by the Government
Board over fifteen times, and they said
there was no cure for mo. / have
taken all kinds OF medicine and have
spent large sums Of money for doctors,
without avail. A short time ago |
decided TO try the Cuticura Remedies,
and after using two cakes Of Cuticura
Soap, two boxes OF Cuticura Ointment,
and two bottles Of Cuticura Rcsolvcnt,
two treatments In oil, l am now well
and completely cured. A thousand
thanks TO Cuticura. / cannot speak
too highly Of the Cuticura Remedies.
John I. Roach, Richmondale, Ross
Co., Ohio. July IL, 1905"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

OF troubles that robbed L. II. Wolfe. oi
Bear Grove, a., of all usefulness. came
when he began taking Electric Bitters
He writes; "Two years ago kidney
trouble caused me great suffering, which
l never would have survived had not
taken Electric Bitters. They also cured
me Of general debility" Sure cure for
all stomach. Liver and Kidney com.
plants, Blood diseases, Headache, Diz-
illness and weakness or bodily decline,
Price SOC. Guaranteed by Charles Rogers
drug store, aug
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21
FIGHTING FOR posTMAsTERsHIp.

ABERDEEN, Wash, August co.
A strong fight is now on for the Office
Of postmaster made vacant by the
resignation of Postmaster Il. p. Camp
bell. who has been obliged to give up
the office on account OF III health. The
candidates at present are w. A. Gran.
dell. now assistant postmaster; w. b.
Crammatte and DR.. w. r. Paine. The
Office already paps well, and the salary
is being constantly advanced owing to
the rapid increase OF population.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21
ROOT MAKES SPEECH.

BUENOS AYRES, August 20. -
Secretary Root and the members of his
party yesterday visited the port and
docks here: Besides smaller functions
tonight a grand banquet was given at
the opera house in honor of the Ameri-
can by a leading representative Of
banking and commerce. Speeches were
made by Senor Drago and Secretary
Root.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

100000 models Of patents that have
been granted in the past IS years are
to be disposed of by the patent office
A good number of these will be given
to the various colleges in the country
Some, whose historic associatins render
them valuable as relics, will be sent to
the Smithsonian institution. A great
many of these models are of patents
taken out by women.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

''Pale death enters with impartial step
the cottage of the poor and the palace
of the rich" Likewise the internal
revenue tax-gatherer, equally as certain
as death, makes his demands on the
rich and the poor. But he comes in such
a way that he is not recognized and
not one time in every million does the
man who bears the burden of the tax
know when he is paying it.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

Postmaster General Cortelyou has un-
der consideration plan of supplying
farmers on rural routes with up-to-date
weather forecasts. 1t is proposed that
the weather bureau in Washington shall
telegraph its morning forecasts to the
postmaster and that they shall stamp
the weather indications on the back of
each letter, together with the date, exact
time and place at which the letter is
received. The weather forecasts now
furnished the farmers are at least u
hours old.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21
LEGAL NOTICES.
NOTICE TO TAX PAYERS.

The R"ard of Equalization of Clatsop
County. Oregon, win attend at the office
of the County Clerk OF Clatsop County.
Oregon, on Monday, August 81. 1906,
and daily thereafter until and including
Saturday. September /. 1906, to public.
ly examine the assessment roll for the
year 1905, and correct all errors in
valuation, description or equalities Of
land, lots or other properties and It
shall be the duty of all parties inter-
ested to appear at that time and place
for the purpose Of correcting any errors
that may appear in said assessment
roll.
T. s. CORNELIUS,
Assessor. Clatsop County. Oregon.
Astoria, Oregon, August 9, 1905.
s-5-2st. ID. & W.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

The greatest mistake some of the al
legged newspaper men make is to imag-
inc that everything in their paper;
should be "original" The clippings ex.
pressing the thoughts of hundreds OF
bright men in the fraternity is much
better and more appreciated by readers
than the opinions Of one man.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

When man. by the formation of
good habits, has acquired perfect mas
tery of all the simple regular details Of
his work SO that he can attend to them
almost without thinking about them.
he is left free and unwearied to cope at
his full power with new and compli-
Gated duties as they arise.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

A New York fiat owner has clause
in his lease under which the tenants,
families and servants alike are compell-
ed to wear rubber reels, he bearing the
expense. The result is that he never
has any vacant fats, owing to the fact
that everybody is noiselessly shod.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

The postmaster at st. Louis had re-
ceived a number OF complaints about
one of his mail carriers flirting with
ladies along the street. A government
inspector dropped into st. Louis and
kept close watch on the carrier in
question and as result he was dis.
missed from the service.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21
Stomach Troubles and Constipation.

Stomach Troubles and Constipation.
No one can reasonably hope for good
digestion when the bowels are consti-
psted. Mr.. Chas. Baldwin. Of Edwards
vile, ILL.,. says, 'T suffered from chronic
constipation and stomach troubles for
several years. but thanks to Chamber.
lains Stomach and Liver Tablets am
almost cured" Why not get a package
of these tablets and get well and stay
well' Price 25 cents. For sale by Frank
Hart leading druggist. aug
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

The Kansas philosopher who said that
every man ought to ask himself if he Il
a fool, forgets that quite number ol
us are married, and get some informa'
ton without asking for it.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

A camel begins work at years old
and frequently continues in use for over
half a century. 1t will carry 1000
pounds on its back, while few horses
can carry more than 250 pounds.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

President Roosevelt's address to his
supporters before his last election was
printed in no fewer than twelve differ
ent languages.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

1t has been decided that young man
can marry on $40 week, but Chicago
authority says it is hard to find girls
who are earning that.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

The hatless man is the latest lad ON
the Atlantic Coast. The hatless man is
as proper in the street as is the hatless
woman.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21
600 90 GO o o o o o o coo GO
@ Editorial SALAD. @
600 90 Q o o o oo DO o ooo 20

Japan gets $4,000 recruits yearly for
her regular army.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

After working hard to get money a
man has to work twice as hard to
keep it.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

The most difficult OF animal products
to find substitute for is whalebone.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-21

When the average man does you a
favor he never let's you forget it,
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-10-22
ENGLISH WOMEN SMOKERS.
Increase Greatly in Number in Las
Few Years,

AACAVOoC NUluUtE LII l4St
Few Years.
The number OF women who have
adopted the habit of cigarette smoking
has increased enormously OF late
years. Ten or fifteen years ago
smoking among women in this coun-
try was more or less confined to iso-
lated cases Of young girls who thought
1t clever or amusing, and elderly fe-
males Of the tramp class who found
solace for an uncomfortable existence
In sucking an aged pipe of unclean
description.
1t is very different today. There
are women smokers in every class of
the community. students, society wo-
men, shop girls and journalists, ar
fists. girls in business and girls who
stay at home. young girls and married
women, says Elizabeth Sloan Chosser
in the London Daily Chronicle. Even
the grandmothers are not beyond sus-
picion. although the very word seems
incompatible with cigarettes. 1t is,
perhaps. too much to assert that most
women smoke; but that a great many
of them appreciate the soothing in
fluence of what man has so long con-
sidered his pet luxury cannot be de-
MED. Women smokers are increas-
ing. and at the same time man is be-
coming more tolerant and more accus-
toned to the sight of woman manip-
plating cigarette. 1t seems as IL
woman means to smoke. in spite of the
fact that the habit has been condemned
on moral. aesthetic and medical
grounds.
The chief argument against women
smoking Is that-it is always best to
acknowledge self-evident fact right
aWay-wOmen are more prone to the
extreme than men. When smoking is
once acquired as Il habit It ia a diff
cult matter to keep it within strict
and sensible limits. and what may be
very moderate smoking for man is
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-10-22
Az Our Grandmothers Did,

tAuo 6udEI WcuuluS lutIlduOu OE
announcement is engraved as simply
as possible nowadays. but if the bride
wants elaborate treatment of her mar
riage certificate she can have 1t.
These may be had done by hand and
beautifully illuminated on parchment
or Japanese vellum, and some of the
fall brides are having theirs framed
and hung in the boudoir.
Nearly the whole of the crowns of
some OF the new hats are covered by
the mass Of coque plumes that sweep
are having a great vogue this seas
on.
The crisp white malinette neck
ruches edged everywhere with black
or brown chenille cords present a
striking contrast both as to materials
and eoloripgs.
Yards and yards of tilmy material
are used for the shirred. tucked and
ruffled evening gowns which the
younger element delight in this seas
on, often all three modes of trimming
being used on the same gown with
..
1t Is a very pretty idea to place
upon the full outer sleeve the same
design that appears on the front of
the bodice. For instance. II q scroll
of. lace, bow knot design or a single
motif decorates the front. it is also
upon the sleeves.
Many are the predictions OF simple
fashion to come, but We see no evil
dence Of them as yet. On the con-
trary. 5eweiled laces, passamentaries,
braids, embroideries. velvets and furs
abound among gowns and coats, and
ornate and complex are most OF the
late millinery models.
Insertion of real Cluny and baby
Irish lace upon fine linen make very
dainty undergarments. Women Of re-
fined taste nowadays omit the great
rosettes and bows with which under
wear has been loaded. and use ribbon
only where it is needed for drawinA
up the fulness, ending with moderate
bows.
Many fluffs of brown maline be-
meath the brim and great loose-pet-
allied roses in soft shades of brown
On crown constitute the trimming for
a picturesque hat Of old pink velvet.
Pin cushions, ciruclar, square, or
oblong, made of two pieces of linen,
Zone somewhat larger than the other)
buttonholed and laced together with
ribbon, are very attractive little gifts.
AS they launder we'll they may be
kept always fresh and crisp, which is
in itself an attraction.
Most realistic flowers are evolved
for dress trimmings. Roses and tiger
lilies are fashioned In colored embroi-
derry on canvas foundations, each pet
al worked separately and so attached
to the others as to produce the most
natural-looking whole; carnations are
Of frilled ribbon with shaded green
stems and leaves; and small bouquets
Of viokets are Joined by festoons Of
braid.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-10-22

and there are girls who smoke only
because their friends enjoy it and con-
slider them old-fashioned if they don't.
These types never smoke to excess,
and generally give up the habit when
they attain years Of discretion. Some
women smoke because they honestly
enjoy not so much the smoking itself,
but the feeling Of good fellowship
which smoking in congenial society
produces.
Smoking is something of a fad
among women at present, and there
are many who will give it up when It
ceases to be a novelty. The vast ma
jority of women will not smoke.
Cat.
"Cholly is telling Miss Anteek
naughty story"
What makes you think that"
See her putting up her fan to hide
the bushes that aren't there."-Louis-
Vile Courier-Journal.
Haunted houses may be curtainless
and still save shades.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-10-22
Some Home Remedies.

some Home Remedies.
During these busy fall days don't
neglect the ten minutes rest at mid
day with the feet raised. 1t gives the
body great sense of repose and
lines on the face.
ii you need to drink hot water
pour it from one jug to another sew
eral times. This viii! aerate it and
remove the flat, insipid taste so oh
jecionable to most persons.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-10-22
Frills of Fashion.
Monotony of Home Work,

The popular complaint of the wo-
men is the monotony of homework.
and the man who says business Is
also monotonous gets frowned down.
The women believe that a business
Office is the scene of an unchanging
round of excitement and interest. and
any effort to prove the contrary only
makes them mad. Still. a woman has
beans to string today; and tomorrow
1t is not beans to string, but corn to
husk, and the men don't have such q
wonderful variety OF occupations
Atchison Globe.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-10-22
Meditations of \ Spinster.

NeuItatlOns OF SpnSter.
It's wonderful what big doses of
fiattery a man will take II you can
only manage to keep your face
straight.
Starting new habit Is more fun
than breaking an old one.
When you get the best of man in
an argument he always declares that
what you have said is irrelevant.