Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1906-06-02
A Wonderful Fishing Yarl

Dreathed a tale into the ears OF the
village about a marvellous trout on ex.
hibition at the home of Will White
and the male population. who love fish
ing and despise liars climbed the long
hills towards Mr.. Whites home to ex.
anime the rumor aud the trout.
One of Bill's boys told me the trout
weighed as much as a small ham, and
was so long he couldn't turn In the
creek without backing UP and curving
his tall like a carpet beAter," a fat man
said, as he climbed over a barbed wire
fence, leaving his coat tails as relics
consigned with appropriate language.
"Biil's boy, Fred, caught him. an no
told me sartin that the fish weighed
confusion and perditionl' a breathlsss
enthusiast yelled. as he slipped on Q
wet stone and skinned his eye IN an
apple tree.
Fish stories is fish stories, a pious
church member commented. but boys
should be taught to stick to the truth
The deacon stuck to a nall on the top
Of Jake Dietch's pasture fence a mo
ment afterwards. and a member OF the
tVH6ACk0tAVi itit AHtRNAAStt 40 NV
helped him down to say: I'm sorry
for your language. deacon"
"Ya'as. but you don't give a darn for
my trousers. Them's what count In
| prayer meetings or in society," the
deason said, In a panied way.
"Bill told me on his word OF honor
that ere fish weighed close onto i've
| pounds exact by Malcolm's scales" q
wheezy man declared as he wiped .
strip Of plowed land from his face and
! took a chew of tobacco as an antidote.
"Hee-hee-hee.h aw!" the crowd roared
in derlsion.
1T sounds like Maud coming" Mr..
| White commented as he took his eyes
| off the fish and scanned the horizon.
A score Of village folks thronged
around, Beyond from the valley the
trail was still dotted with an advano-
| ing procession. "Hellol Where In
| thunder's the funeral?7 Bill asked.
Eve heard an amazing rumor and
we've come to investigate the crowd
cried.
I'VE want The truth. all OF 1t, and
nothing but-ki-yi-yi! Call that dog
OFT" the man with the missing coat.
tails yelled, as ne jumped a oistern. .
cider barrel and a chicken coop.
Were determined in the matter,
| amt we. boys?" the deacon said, sol.
! EMMY as he got behind the fat man.
The crowd roared approval. Bill be-
gan to look frightened. Its a mis-
| take, boys" he gasped. He wasn't
hooked on Sunday. He was hooked on
the Cassville flats"
Bring him out; weigh him up the
crowd ordered.
"If he doesn't weigh two pounds
we'll mob YOU" the slim enthusiast
shouted, as he waved one hand to.
wards the sun and distracted the
wheezy mans plug tobacco with the
other. The crowd reared approval.
Bill got the scales. His face had q pc
| cullar smile. a brook trout smile, gid
cd with spring sunshine. growing Joy
and stray particles Of shaving SOAP
Then he got the fish and placed II
gently on the scales. The crowd
gasped when they saw II. A long
breath Of amazement ran through them
with a sound like that OF a bulldog
going through pea vines after a cat.
| The weight slid along pound after
| pound until the bar trembled, wavered.
balanced.
Five pounds. three ounces" BIZ
said, simply. like a hero who didn't
want a pension.
A hush deep and wonderful, fell
upon the crowd. Then the fat man
said; well, I'm d."
Never mind" the deacon interrupt
| ed. We've had variety enough for the
Sabbath. Hold an autopsy, Doc. a
give us the symptoms"
Or. Dewing diagnosed the trout and
| announced: twenty-five inches long.
| two and a half inches thick, rather thin
| and starved looking, probably suffered
| from dyspepsia, caused by eating froz-
| en- frogs during the winter. Normal
weight In good health should have been
at least eight pounds. An ~out-and-out
trout, perfectly spotted. beautifully
formed and worthy OF an honorable
grave"
which he'll get, by thunder and
creased lightning" Bill said, expand,
ing his bosom In a proud way.
The village professor quoted Greek
all the way back to the village. "His
language may have been justifable.'
the deacon afterwards confded to his
wife, "but it sounded mighty suspi,
cious.'
ut was the dumdest trout ever
caught In these parts" the fat man
said. Everybody agreed with him. II
was unanimous. 1t was wonderful.
It was true.