The sun. (Jacksonville, Fla.) 1905-1908, 1906-04-28

was Harry McDonough, the inventor of
the stingless mosquito now in use on
his Jersey farm.
Harry has the mosquito game down
so fine that he's going to take a double
sextette of them into vaudeville next
season.
He has trained these twelve skeets to
sing "Zobia Grassa," and AL Holbrook
has promised to teach them Venetian
dance.
Harry offered us four winners in the
first race and two cigars.
He told us If we lost to smoke the
cigars carefully and we'd forget our
troubles and our names, but If we won
we could use the cigars as frecrackers.
Then we ran across jeff D'Angelis,
the composer of the new tune now
played on the automobile horns.
jeff hadn't picked out horse to win
any race because his loyalty to sneeze-
wagons is 80 intense that he won't even
drink horses neck.
He explained that he only came to the
race track to show the horses his smoke
buggy and make them SILVER.
George Yates, the inventor of the ma.
chinery for removing sunburn from
pickles, was there and he tried to pre-.
sent us with q sure winner in the third
race.
A little later on we discovered that
the horse Yates was doing rave over
had been dead for four years and that
the card from which he was lifting his
dope was the program Of the meet at
Sheepshead in 1896.
Some kind and thoughtful stranger
had lifted so cents from Georges sur
plus and in return had stung him with
an ancient echo of the pittypats.
Our next adventure was with Joe
Miron, the famous horse trainer and in
yentor of the only blue mare in cap
tivity at Elmhurst.
"Say, why didn't / see you guys be-
fore the first race; had q plush-cov-
cred pipe!" yelled Joe.
81 had that race beat to a stage watt"
Joe went on, enthusiastically. "Why,
all you had to do was play THE Goblin
Man to win and 'Murderallo' for
place-it was just like getting money
from the patent medicine business"
"How much did you win, Joe?" I in
quired.
"Who, mel" Joe came back. "Why l
didn't get here in time to place q bet.
1 drove over from Elmhurst and the blue
mare burst tire. But, say, I've got
a mothers darling in the third race!
Oh, it's q ladybug for certainl You
guys play Perhaps to win and you'll
60 home looking like Pierp Morgan after
a busy day. 1t can't lose, this clam
can'tl Say, that horse Perhaps wears
gold-plated overshoes and it can kick
more track behind it than any ostrich
you ever saw! Why, it's got ball.bear-
ing castors on the feet and it wears a
naphtha engine in the forward turret.
Get reckless with the coin, boys, and 20
the limit, and If the track happens to
cave in and it does lose, I'll drag you
down to Elmhurst behind the blue mare
and make the suction pump in the back
yard do an imitation of Walter Jones
singing Captain Kidd with the bum
pipes"
Joe was so much in earnest about Il
that Bunch and l put up fifty on Per.
haps' and waited.
We are still waiting.
Perhaps may have been a good horse
but he had bad memory and never
could recollect which end of the track
was the proper place to finish.
Joe must have left for Elmhurst i'm
after the race because he failed
to answer roll call.
Then we ran across Dave Terrence,
the famous inventor of the disappearing
trump so much used by pinochle players.
When Dave began to dope 'em out for
us Bunch and l hid our pocketbooks in
our shoes.
Here's good one," Dave suggested;
listen to this one, Easy Money out of
Life Insurance by Director And