davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
A PATTERN FOR US

1T is wickeder to adulterate a
mans food than to pick his pocket.
Who steals my purse steals trash, but
he who flches from me my good health
well, he g possible murderer
The speaker, pushing away with hor-
ror, : dish Of preserved strawberries,
The Germans actually do regard it
as wickeder to adulterate mans food
than to steal from him, and they pun
ish the food adulterator twice as Sc
verely as the pickpocket.
In German court I once saw a
shabby pickpocket--he had stolen two
dollars sentenced to six months i'm
prisonment. Directly afterwards a
millionaire Gamer was convicted of
adulterating canned beans with a
chemical that was likely to give you
erysipelas or quinsy. With us the
Gamer would have gotten off with a
fine, but the German Judge indignant
y sentenced him to two years.
And I regret the German Judge
added, that the law does not allow
me TO make your sentence harder,
BIZ. 4 s Il
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
STAGE FAKES

Some variety artists, over a mid
night luncheon Of mashed potatoes and
sausages,s talked about the fakes Of
their art.
"Of course, you know how fake
Ightnin' sketchin' is done,' said a
dancer. The ,sketcher is goin' to do,
say, Abe Lincoln. Well, Abe is drawn
IN pale, invisible outline on the black
board, and all that needs to be done
is to draw the. chalk quickly over
them faint lines. ''S+s'
second artist. You call up to me
from the audience: any subject YOU We
q mind to-, and I rattle off poem on
the subject at ,once.ss. This is a fake,
of course. There amt no poet Twin
could do that. The fake is worked
this way: / haveHa lot Of stock sub
jects with poems already. composed,
subjects like, the coming election, or
the peekaboo waistS or the Vanderbilt
cup, and if you calf Up such a subject
to me, well and good prepared
for you. But if you call up. a. ssubject
l IN not equal to, I ignore you. and,
pretending to be speaking to a man in
the back Of the house, say, The com
Ing eiecti9ns Very good, sir: Thank
:" Whoever wins, hope that
Will get the job for which I sigh.
The work is light, and yet the pay
Is seven lovely plunks day. u Il
Whoever wins, I. hope, begob,t: -
I get the job, I get the jobl'',
used to be fired from cannon
in my YOUTH said an elderly man.
9 was called Miss Claire and 1
wore a blonde wig and pink silk tights.
OF course, 1t was raj spring, and not
gunpowder,' that sent me fifty feet thru
the air into a big net. A: dangerous
trick, at that. I once broke aeleg at
it. This trick has altogether gone out
Of fashion. I don It believe it has been
once done in the last fifteen years. u,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
A SLOW, UNCERTAIN TRAVELLER

A New Haven man was praising the
Conn. ~
Judge Torrence,'' he said, cut.
tered many an epigram from the bench.
In case concerning noise NUS
ance a scientist was once testifying
before him about the speed Of sound.
Sound, said the man, travels at
the rate Of 400 yards a second
f.Ail sound' asked Judge Terrence.
All, replied the scientist
.eThe judge smiled.
:" IN sure you re wrong, he said.
Il have noticed a great difference be-
tween the speed Of certain kinds of
sound, Thus, SANDER travels at the
rate Of quite 1000 yards a second; fat
terry 800 yards, while truth makes only
progress is, truth often fails to reach
the goal, no matter how short the dis
lance. ~ =, -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
A FOXY TENANT

At one time there lived in Woroes.
ter, Mass, an old negro who had a
tremendous influence. religious and po:
litical, in the settlement where he
lived. He occupied little house owned
by q prominent banker, but had sue
for many years No trouble came, how.
ever, until the banker was nominated
to run for a political office. The next
day the old negro came hobbling into
his office. E"
"Well, sam,' said the banker, 81
suppose you we come in to pay me some
rent. -,
ooh, no, boss" replied the old man.
else just come in to say rs glad yo
is nominated, and will tell de res of
desc no count niggers to vote fo' yo,
and to mention to yo at de same time
dat de roof Of my house is. a leakin ,,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
EASIER TO SIT

When the candidate for legislative
honors did not wish to answer ques-
tion he was never at a loss for ways
to avoid it.
Where do you stand on the question
of women's suffrage9'' asked an aus
tere and influential person, his hostess
at small dinner.
The tactful man turned to her with
q gallant but deprecatory smile NY
dear madam, - he said gently, have
you the heart to ask me to stand any
where after such q dinner as I've eaten
tonightso
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
Curios and Oddities
. GOOD AND BAD

At the end Of his examination the
"Your candy, sir,V he said, 7has
one good and one bad quality
'sWill you. explain that, professors''
said the confectioner, with an air half
pleased and half grieved.
The expert, toying with test tube,
answered: 2
It is good because it contains no
saccharin; bad because it contains no
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
WHY THE LECTURE ENDED

a certain professor was giving his
pupils q lecture on Scotland and the
Scots. These hardy men, he said,
think nothing of swimming across the
Tay three times every morning before
breakfast.
Suddenly loud burst Of laughter
came from the center Of the hall, and
the professor, amazed at the idea of
anyone daring to interrupt him in the
middle Of his lecture, angrily asked the
duct.
was Just thinking, sir,' replied
the lad, that the poor Scotch chaps
|. side for their clothes when they land
ed! ''-Lippincott's IS.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
STRANGE PIECE OF swoRDsN1AN.
5E&z%s5s SHIP,

Sks%.:=%3sslf%.tss$ SI14F. =. H.
The strangest and most thrilling
piece Of workmanship I ever saw, y
said the fencing master, twas in Yer
mont. -
ri was spending the autumn in a
mountainous part Of Vermont, and
there was a military encampment near
my hotel.
"Well, one morning an officers
horse started to bolt with the man dur.
ing parade, and made at breakneck
speed towards tremendous precipice
"The officer tried to stop the horse
tried to turn its head-no use. On
dashed the frantic animal straight fol
this abyss 300 feet in height.
"We all held our breath. In an.
other instant we expected to see horse
and rider go over the cliff. But instead
a strange thing happened.
"The officer, within fifty feet Of the
edge, drew his sword, and plunged it
twice, deep into the horse. The horse
staggered, slowed, keeled over. dying.
The man had sacrificed the ami
mails life to-save his own.''
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
IN PRAISE OF PRIZE FIGHTS

In a discussion Of a, recent brutal
prize fight, a young lady Of Charleston
asked DR.. Ellison Capers, bishop Of
South Carolina. if he did not disap-
pro 1e, Of prize fighting,
u. "o9 the contrary Dr.. Capers an
see, it always offers the probability Of
two brutes getting good thrashing.n
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
THE POLITE CEYLoNEsE

William Jennings Bryan, describing
his world tour in New York, praised
the Ceylonese.
"The Ceylonese,'' said Mr.. Bryan,
"are the politest, the urbanest, the
most tactful people you can imagine
"IThey have proverb that gives
some idea Of their delicacy. This
proverb says:
cit is safer to pull the tail Of a
tiger than to call a lady's attention to
her first gray hair. - -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
KEPT THE PRICE UP

"Whatl" cried the cripple. "a hun
dred dollars for this wooden legl Why
man, are you crazyq'
But the. dealer shook his head. Is.
II know the price is high" he said
is a great town for automobiling. (" Ez
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
THEY COME HIGH

"a seat on the Stock Exchange
said the first senator, 'fhas been sold
for $80,000.''
"Dear, dear,' said the second sena-
tor; "that's nearly as much as my seat
here cost me- -.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08

an if it ain It fixed I'll have to move
out directly. "-Lippincott g.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
In a, Bakery.

In a, Bakery.
. Kind Lady-Where did you work
Lasts aEa2
Travelling Ike-Rollin' mill.
Kind Lady-Then you know all about
rolling iron9 la-, a
Travelling Ike-No rolls
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08

America imports annually 10000
German canaries.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
The Latest Dance

1870 -IHe IICeSt Uance.
II m goin,' ter my uncle's dancin
school, II am
What kind does he teachq"
nSaint Vitas.' !.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08


''Thank Of action had laid out''
threw ballot insertion
done the matter whether candidate
Office Relief yell retired thankfully
to bed not worrying much about results .
N
suddenly building
boulevard he Of his old place
left
out by wheat The chickens coming
There comfortably sits the big watching George
shining boy unwngy to school in the morning Under
likes
False mounting value by leaps and bounds In
platinum This metal in pinning
platinum in
electrical this
o shortage.
of old fitted with
klu
his without getting hot
Hilary
H. E. Chase Mrs Alice
Ashland Ohio those gentleman
visible proofs This MssopFian professor in college,
All well until
Charles Ashland
cured handful feathers and then something happened Something ed the
police station at the
The
70 changed.
High school classes Marion Ohio dismissed the other
cheese and the decacy loud its complaints Jani
the cleansing fumgating, after all
there considerable Dutch noise heard about the building t
would have held them right the "A.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
With the Long Bou

!, IS
We Give the w q Yell Exciting
Moment st the Polls We Freely
.Ia@@#4
morning
election
'sWhite ribbonsi
4 &
- Hurrah!! s & 8 IS
to
s was s e Eg 900
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-08
te, made our way to the polls and voted

worker met us at the livery
stable door, where the country is peri
iodically saved in that precinct, and
i handed out card. We addressed him:
Ny young friend,o we said patron
izingly, ttyour candidate has no more
show Of election than a chorus girl has
of being made president Of the w. @.
q. u. But that does not indicate that
we do not intend to honor. him by our
vote. Neither does it indicate that we
do. We preserve an impenetrable
silence as to our Intentions
"All us young bucks is voting for
this mug" he explained, indicating the
card. " II ss
Might I inquire what you young
bucks hope to gain in the way of civic
betterment by the election of your
mana' i.
'!There's more fun with an easy
going mayor"
'Of course, it's fun the city needs,
and it's fun we are all after. The
trouble is, people differ in their ideas
of fun. Some people enjoy horserace.
To others horse emulation is a very
slow and melancholy affair. It only
proves that one horse goes quicker than
the other horse. I can work up no pos
sible interest in the pedal rapidity Of
an ill-smelling, pavement-destroying
wild beast.' #s.#.t. ~ .s
"Huh! o>-Es:>'= ~,
"Others, I am led to understand, find
enjoyment in absorbing poisonous
liquids, hollering fbing' on the public
streets and undermining their constitu:
lions by other riotous excesses.,,
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-05-10

Many people who sign themselves
Higgins have sought TO prove that their
surname is derived from the name
borne by 81. IIyginus. tracing II
through the old English form "St
Ygyn." But according 10 an authority
their name Is really connected with
IKE" short for Isaac, or, rather, with
"lIikke," the form In which ike" np-
peared In Langland's time. Isaacs,
Isaacson, Hicks. Iliggs, Hickson and
Higson would thus be different YER
sions OF the same name, while Higgins
Is merely modified 10y the addition OF
the Anglo-Norman dimlnutiye. Anoth-
er school derives Hugglns. Hutchinson
and Higgins alike from Hugh, or, more
exactly from Hugonls. the gcnltiye OF
the Latin Hugo.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-05-10
WILL OPEN FURNITURE STORE.
A. c. Young Will Embark in This
Business in Gainesville.

J. F. Morris has rented the Auer
building on California street, now
occupied by a. c. Warner. John Gar.
many and the skating ring. to A G.
Young Of Ardmore, who will open a
big furniture store in this building
in the near future Mr. Young was
a resident Of Gainesville before he
moved to Ardmore several years ago.
He understands the furniture business
thoroughly and will open a hrst-lass
store her.. Gainesville Register
II is learned that Mr.. Young will
embark in business in Gainesville
in about sixty days with a new stock
Of furniture. Mr. Young was in the
furniture business in this city for
many years an6 is experienced in that
line. He has been one of Ardmore's
progressive business men and his re.
moyal from this city will be regret.
ted.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-05-10
THE FLAGEoLET.
H Has Always neen the Love Flute
OF the Apache Indian.

The fagcolct is Of peculiar Interest
60 Americans. as from time immemo-
rial Il has been the medium through
which the Indian youth courted their
swecthcarts at a distance when they
were so unfortunate as TO bc unable
TO gain "a personal audience
The love or courting flute OF the Apa-
che Is made of round stick Of cedar
about twenty -four inches long split
lengthwise and followed 10 form nm air
chamber. 4 hole Is made on each side
OF this diaphragm and a shallow air
passage cut from one hole 60 the other
Above II cap OF wood Is placed for
the purpose Of covering the upper hole
and the mir channel. The lip is made
OF thin sheet Of lead and the whole
bound together with slender thong
In the tube part or body OF the instru-
mcnt are placed six finger holes. u
condition that points unmistnkubly 10
the influence OF contact with the white
man.
The hagcolct, as ordinarily under.
stood may bc described as n whistle
headed flute In the seventeenth cen
tury English ladies often played ON H.
Sometimes two or three fngcolet tubes
were constructed with one head FOR the
purpose of introducing notes IN har
mouy. These were called double o:
triple nuroolcts. AMI a patent was tax
en- ont FOR this instrument by one
Baiubridgc.
An old English diary OF 1867 contains
this quaint reference to the double
hugcolct: "To Dumblcby's. the pipe
maker. there TO advise about the max
lng of a flagcolct - go low and soft,
and lac do show me a way which 10 do.
aud also fashion Of having two pipes
OF the same note fastened together. 80
ns can play on one and then echo IL
upon the other. which il mighty pret-
| ty."-Amcrican Inventor.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-05-10

Here is an auccdotc once related 10y
Herbert Spcncer-whO. 10y the way,
was rather heavy IN hand when he
undertook 10 play story teller Aprcpos
Of IIuXley's humor he described din
ncr of distinguished authors:
over their cigarettes they fell TO dis.
cussing their various methods of com
mcncing 10 write. one said he wrote
aud wrote, tore up, then wrote again,
and So on.
George Lcwes. who was present.
looked surprised. ana then cried out:
"Oh. I'm not like that! | commence
10 write az once. directly the pen is In
my hand, In fact ! boil at low tenn
peraturc."
Indeed" cut I'm Mr.. Huxley. that
Is very interesting, for, as you know,
TO boil at low temperature implies a
vacuum In the upper region"
Lewcs himself was the first 10 lead
the shout OF laughter which OF course
greeted this clever rcpnrtee.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-05-10

Trap shooting has made America n
land OF straight shooters, aud no coun-
try IN the world can compare with the
United States In shooting Gun clubs
IN America are directly responsible for
that reputation which Uncle Sam so
proudly bears. BY constant practice
at inanimnte targets the American un-
consciously prepares himself for his
country's call TO arms. Gun clubs are
really the outcome OF the abundance
OF live game In America. The average
business man loves 10 tread the woods
In search OF live game, but usually his
time TO go on these hunting trips is
limited TO perhaps once year, and
during the interval he has lost his
shooting eye" lie needed practice IA
keep his eye keyed up properly, and
In order TO get practice at home during
spare moments he organized the gun
club. where between hours he could
get all the practice he needed-Recrea'
ton.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-05-10
GAY FASHIONS OF THE PAST
Dandic- of Fast Centuries would
Make solomon Look sad.

Compared with the gay apparel worn
10y the duudics of the past ages the
youths of our time in the gaycst OF
gay raimcnt make but poor show
The bishop Of Ely In the fourteenth
century had change of raimcnt for
every day In the year. The Earl Of
Northumberland boustcd no less than
sixty cloth Of gold suits at this time.
In Queen Mary's time the wardrobe
OF bishop must have been the envy
OF Solomon FOR the variety aud costli-
ness Of its contents. aud even n simple
villncc priest wore "a vestment OF
crimson satin. yestment Of crimson
velvet. stole and fnnon set with
pearls. etc"
In the time OF Chauccr the men wore
clothes as many colorcd as JOseph's
coat. 40 that while one leg would be- a
blaze of crimson the other would be
trickcd out In green. blue or yellow
without any regard for harmony or
contrast
Even a. late as the middle Of the
eightccath century n dandy would
dress himself In vivid green coat, u
waistcoat OF scarlet. yellow breeches
aud blue stockings
Aud The gentleman Of few years
later wore among other vagnrics, n
coat of llpht green with sleeves too
small for the arms aud buttons too big
for the sleeves: pair OF fine Mnnches-
ter brcechcs without money In their
pockets; clocked silk stockings; club
Of hair behind larger than the head
which carried Il; hat not larger than
n slXpence.
II was a common thing In the early
part Of the eighteenth century for n
man Of fashion to spend several hours
daily In the hands Of his valet Among
the many operations which took up
this time was the starehing OF the
beard and the proper perfuming of the
garments, the painting Of the face and
| amounting with oils, tinctures. essences
and pomatums"- New York Herald.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-05-10
S+%+ 80 4$+%~
= PERSONAL NOTES. y


Z. Z. solomon Of sherman is IN the
city.
5. A. Apple has returned from
Spiro.
Sidney suggs and velie suggs came
in from Fort Smith today.
! W Williams Of Purcell was here
last night on business.
j. J. Dabbs, a business man Of Sui
phur was here last night
Mrs VIM. Law and Miss Law Of
Pauls Valley were in the city yester.
day.
J. a. Fisher. a well known citizen
Of Fort Worth. was in the city last
night.
J. l.. Horton and A. G. Eakins Of
Madill. two prominent citizens. we're
here last night
+ c. Cooper, prominent cotton
man Of Gainesville. was in the city
this morning on business.
Mrs. James Wamplcr Of Marys.
vile is in the city the guest Of her
parents, Rev and Mrs J /. Keller.
G II Montgomery. ?. " Hill and
Simon westheimer OF Marietta wee
Ardmire visitors yesterday after.
noon.
A. d Hooper. who has been very
low from an attack OF pneumonia.
has taken a turn for the better and
mis- recovery Is expected.
W Chenault. A. s. Crouch and :
y. Montgomery who have been hero
in the employe OF r. II. Gardner &
Co. a real estate firm. will depart this
week for Oklahoma City. The Ard.
more branch Of the firm will be dis.
continued until restrictions are re.
moved.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-05-10
Criminal Court Ended.

The criminal docket ended yes,er'
day with the trial OF Joe Clendcn-
ing, charged with a serious offense
Clendening was convicted and given
two years In the Federal prison. The
alleged crime was committed west oi
the city and a 15.year-old girl was the
complaining witness The young man
has been working on a farm near
Newport, where his parents reside.
Judge Townsend excused the jury
until Monday when the trial Of civil
cases will be resumed, In the mean
time motions will be heard by the
court.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-05-10
SULPHUR GROWING.
Big Amusement Company Has Been
Organized, $4,000 Capital.

olS RTOustWt0N company 6aS seen
Organized, $4,000 Capital.
J. j. Dabbs. n former resident OF
this city. was in Ardmore last night
transacting business. He has grelt
faith in Ardmore. he says, and regards
IL as being one OF the best towns to
be found anywh,se Recently Mr.
Dabbs formed a stock company in Sui
phur and Is now at the head Of a big
mercantile concern sulphur 4
growing fast. he says. and the bust.
ness outlook Is bright. The govern.
ment, It is said will make some i'm.
por'ant Improvements in the reserv.
alton and in anticipation OF this
many persons have located In town.
Sulphur now has four papers Mr..
Dabbs says mat a large crowd Of peo.
nlc is expected this year The town
Is amply prepared to entertain the
visitors.
Recently a big amusement company
was organized there with capital
stock Of $4,000. This company will
provide much pleasure this season
for the visitors and local people. G.
VI Wccms, president Of the state
Bank Of Sulphur IS president OF the
new amusement company; G. =. Link
uf Dallas. Texas. a representative Of
Dun & Co vice president; l.. u. Dan.
icls. secretary, and VI. A Howorton.
treasurer The two last named are
connected with the Chickasaw Land
company The new concern will be
under the active magnaement Of c. T..
Gait and II. W. Burton.
The company has commenced active
operations with a view Of establishing
the complete construction Of skating
rink. natatorium, dancing pavilion,
summer theater. etc. and contem.
plating having all their amusements
going on by July l.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-05-10
The Call of the wild.

Most OF our song birds have three
notes expressive Of love, alarm and
fellowship. The latter call seems TO
keep them In touch with one another
| might perhaps add 20 this list the
scream OF distress which most birds
utter when caught by n cat or a hawk
the voice of uncontrolled terror and
pain which Is nearly the same In all
species-dlssonnnt and piercing. The
other notes and calls are characteristic,
but this last is the simple screech OF
common terrified naturc.-John Bur
roughs IN Country Life I'm America.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-05-10
Board Of Referees.

Judge Townsend appointed a board
OF referees yesterday consisting of
Messrs. Wilmington. Doak and Best
OF this city TO pass upon crop dam.
ages. lands taken. etc. by the Davis
and Turner Falls railroad, a distance
OF six miles. between Davis and Tur-
ner Falls. These gentlemen have
been acting for the Santa Fe between
Davis and Sulphur and Il is learned
that their appraisement has given en-.
tire satisfaction.
The Lovejoy Construction company
Of Fort Worth secured the grading
contract on the Davis and Turner
Falls line and Is rushing the worl,
with all possible speed About three
miles OF the grade will be ready for
the ties by the end OF this week. II
is understood that cars win he run.
ming to a point on Honey creek, below
the falls, not LATER Than July ],
Work on the Santa F'e between pa.
Wis and sulphuFis being rushed and
this line will be In operation IN or
before July /.