davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
A Few Good Stories
To Tell Your Friends

n n the course of an oral examination
one day, at the Maryland univer-
sity medical school a professor adj
dressed bright pupil and said:
James. if you were called in to see
a patient who needed Quinine. what
would you give as a substitute for that
in case you could not get it,"
James thought a minute and replied.
"Why, would give him quinine, of
course
But suppose you could not obtain
that drug?" said the professor.
James thought the matter over again
and said, I'D give him Quinine, pro-
fessor, sure
The old professor became exasperat-
ed and said: 1T is plain that you are
seeking to evade the question. Now,
l want you to suppose that there is not
any quinine within 500 miles,
James hung his head in deep thought
and finally answered, Professor, I'd
give him quinine If l had to go all the
way to the north pole to get it."
Ten-year-old Fred was going to q
party for the first time.
Here's half dollar. Fred" said his
father; IF it rains, be sure you take
cab home
When Fred got home he was thor
oughly drenched.
why didn't you take a cab?' ex-
claimed his father.
81 did, father" replied Fred. land
l sat on the box all the way home
1t was glorious"
A well known artist was walking
with friend one day when his com
panion suddenly discovered he had 4
tooth in bad condition. As the paii
were passing a drug store the mar
with the throbbing molar asked the
other:
What would you advise for the
toothache?"
Why" innocently replied the artist
1.-The last time / had toothache l went
home and my wife kissed it away
The friend paused moment and
then asked. rs your wife home now
Philadelphia Ledger
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
Rush For PAPERS,

New York, Sept 21-About 1000
persons appeared at the naturaliza-
ton bureau to take out citizenship
papers. New and more stringent
naturalization laws go into effect
Sept. 81, and the crowd was regarded
as the beginning of rush on the part
OF the aliens to become citizens before
the new requirements are in opera
fiou
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
FURTHER SEARCH
OF American Homes In Isle Of Pines
Prohibited by Government.

Havana, Sept. 21.-In view of COM
plants from American residents of
the Isle of Pines the government has
prohibited further search of American
homes or other molestation. 1t has
developed that the Americans on the
isle Of Pines were approached by the
insurgents and asked to cooperate to
the extent of not resisting a landing
by the insurgents and their use of the
island as base of supplies. This the
Americans refused, and they declare
it is especially unjust to disarm them
and invade their homes in a high
handed manner
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
Tail is Still Growing.

tom Tit" the little pony that is
known to nearly every person in this
city is now showing with the Bostock
trained animal show at Paris, Cana
da. Oliver II. Fouts, who trained the
animal has heard from its new own
er, and he says that the little pony's
tail has grown over a foot since it
left Richmond, now measuring nearly
II feet.
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
Mutual Subtraction.

whats this hear about the plumb
er and the paper hanger in the mex
block? Have they been trading
houses?'
Not exactly. They did lot c
work for each other and each had t
take the others hcuGe for his pay y
Chicago Tribune.
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
Still Hard Aground.

Put-in-B Bay, O., Sept 21.-So hard
aground is the passenger steamer
State of Ohio on Rattlesnake island
that tugs have been unable to stir her
IN inch from the reef, and from pres
INT indications will be unable to re-
lease the vessel. which is leaking
BADLY
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
Wireless Conference.

Berlin, Sept. 21-Marconi will be
present at the sessions of the interna-
tional wireless conference, which is
to open here Oct. 3, as delegate from
Montenegro. AS the operations of his
company will be one of the main sub
1ects Of controversy his participation
in the proceedings is likely to make
them interesting.
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
ElcHh ants.

An African elephant is of value only
for its ivory. Of which a full grown
animal yields from $3.50 TO $500 worth.
On the other hand. a working Indian
elephant cannot be bought for less than
81. 500 TO $500. This is because of the
greater intelligence Of the Asiatic ami
NAL. which ma.ses him valuable as :
servant
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
Freight Trains Smashed.

st. Paul, Sept. 21.-A brief report
was received at the headquarters of
the Great Northern railroad here of
a rear-end freight collision at Cut
Bank, Mont, in which two stockmen,
whose names have not been reported,
ROadmaster Dinton and Brakeman
Critchell were killed The caboose
and two freight cars of the first train
were wrecked and caught fire.
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
Two Killed nv rr.i,

Salem, o., Sept. 21.-When a fast
Pennsylvania train hit a gang of Rou-
manian section men at Sebring Alec
ra Datts and John Maree were liter
ally ground to pieces. The others es-
capped injury.
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
Body of Bishop Washed Ashore

Oman, AlgeGa, Sept. 21-The body
OF man belieyed to be the bishop of
San Pablo of Brazil who was lost in
the wreck of the Italian steamer Sirio,
on Hormigas island, Spain, Aug. 4, has
been washed up on the coast here.
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22

ivan IL. OF Russia was known as tie
Terrible from the barbarous characte.
OF the warfare lie made upon the sur
rounding nations and the severity with
which be dealt with rebellious subjects.
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
S,winuinu Whltwash Brush

Colon, Sept. 21.-In anticipation of
Secretary Roots passage across the
1sthmus a general cleaning up has
taken place along the route, the labor
ers' houses having been whitewashed
and railroad property put in order.
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
All Run Down

Venting in vitality. vigor.
vim,-that is q condition
that no one can safely ne
elect, for it is the most,
common predisposing cause
Of disease. The blood is at
fault; it needs purifying or
enriching and the best medi-
cine to take is
Hood Sarsaparma
the great Alternative and
tonic builds up the whole
system.
For testimonials Of remarkable cures
send for Book on That Tired Feeling,
No. 8. c. l. Hood Co.. Lowell. Mass.
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
Tornado In MINI sota.

Springfield, Mimi, Sept ELEVEN
Buildings were destroyed or damaged
IN a tornado which swept over this
section of the state, doing damage to
the amount OF $4,000. No lives were
lost
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
Social and Personal Mention

J.. n. GlLCHRIST ENTERTAINED THE
MEMBERS FAMILY AT DINNER LAST EVENING
JENNIE YARYAN ENTERTAINED YESTERDAY AZ
TERNooN HONOR C. C. BINkLEY NDI-
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22
East Main Street Friends Church.
Alfred 7. Ware Pastor.

Bible School at O'Clock Meeting
$50.
The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-09-22

CA o7EA
Bears ira ,Ihe Kind You Hasa Asays bough-
Signature &NAgezx
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
How TO WEAR FURS.

White n gray fox and gray SPUR
rel look triumphantly we'll with the
new Bordeaux, garnet and mulberry
shades, while gray combines excel
lentl%-~with various shades of blue,
but should never be introduced as an
accompaniment to brown.
Russian sable-the queen of furs
looks well with almost any color,
and the same; might be said of err
mine, which latter, in addition to
chinchilla,s is the fur speciality set
apart preventing wraps.
Beaver andSdrak green represent a
~favorite combination, while nothing
can be more effective than this mex
pensive fur in alliance with pale blue
cloth or satin, in the making of pei
Uses and coats for the nursery folk.
The majority of brown furs look
best when mated with brown or blue,
but mink is especially effective with
many shades of pink and the softer
tones of green, as well as with white,
cream, or biscuit.
Black furs should never be allied
to brown materials, even although
the fashion of today permits the COM
bination of black and brown in other
details of dress.
TO trim a black coat with brown
fur is, besides, the epitome of bad
taste, and represents an almost UNI
pardonable modistic error.
Ermine is the most effective addi-
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
HOME DRESSMAKING.

For sewing on buttons stitch twice
down the hem and sew buttons on
this stitching and they will not tear
out the cloth.
In sewing up a skirt, stitch from
the bottom up, and it goes with, not
against the bias.
In putting in gathered sleeves, sun
bonnet crowns, or any work you wish
gathers to be ven, use two threads,
one where the seam will be and the
other one-fourth of an inch inside
first. Remove second thread after
sewing, or you can use machine to
gather by making tension very loose
and drawing up threads. By using
second thread it does away with the
ugly little plaits so often seen in gath
erS.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

tion to coats in ~caracul, broad-tail or
astrakhan, while this season pale blue
and pale gren velvet trimmings
braided in black and silver, are in
troduced on many of the black coats.
Black astrakhan should be the ac-
compartment to all bright colors *
cept brown, and with peacock, Aus
trian and hussar blues, as well as the
bright shades of red, is most effective.
Moleskin looks best when allied to
pale blue or to cloth of it's own shade,
as well as to m%ignonette and willow
greens, and lavender and mauve can
be supplemented with a dark or white
fur Or with Russian sable.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
CALENDAR OF LOCAL EVENTS.

Nov. 13-Strickland w. Gillian.
humorist, high school.
Nov. 13.-Supper in the chapel, Lad
les of the First Presbyter-
ian church.
Nov. 15-Fourth annual masquerade
ball of Halcyon Castle No.
81, Knights of the Golden
Eagle, Washington Hall. 4
Nov. 17-Concert and ball, Arbeiter
Mannerchor Society, Braga
Hall.
Nov. 20.-Chrysanthemum Supper,
Young Women's Associa-
ton, Baptist Chapel.
Nov. 22-Ball, Ladies of the Verg-
nuegungs Club, Washing
ton hall.
Nov. 23.-Second Annual Ball, Mar
ion A. c., Braga Hall.
Nov. 23-Masquerade ball of Pc AM
DO Haymakers, No. 65 h,
Washington hall.
Nov. 27-Masquerade Ball United
Garment Workers. Local
1877, Washington hall.
No. 27-Cleveland Ladies' Orchestra,
high school.
Nov. 28-Ball, Court Amboy, F. of
A., Washington Hall.
Nov. 20, 80; Dec. Fair, Family
Home Lodge No. IA, 1. o.
G.. #. Hall.
Nov. 29-Entertainment under aus
pices of Epworth League
Simpson M. e. church.
Nov. 20-Chrysanthemum Supper,
Young Women's Associa-
ton, chapel of First Bap-
fist church.
Dec. 6.-Musical Under Direction of
Ernest Hilsdorf, Baptist
Church.
Dec. 6-Supper, Social Athletic
Club, Mckinley Hall.
Dec. ~, 10 G. 14-Art & Loan Exhi-
bition, First Presbyterian
chapel.
Dec. 20-Ball Women's Relief Corps,
Washington Hall.
Dec. 26-Christmas Tree, Danish
Brotherhood, Washington
Hall.
Dec. 31-Ball, Woodchoppers Asso-
citation. Washington Hall.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
LudVis'S Music House
15O Smith ST..
STAND PIPE & PUMP FOR SALE.

The Board of Water Commission
ers of the city of Perth Amboy, N. j.,
will sell to the highest bidder one
iron stand pipe located at Smith
street station, Perth Amboy, N. j.,
the purchaser to take down and re-
move same; also one 10000 gal
lon high pressure pump located at
Runyon, N. j. Proposals for the
same to be sealed and presented at
the Office of the Board of Water Com
missioners at the City Hall at $3.50
p. m. November 81, 1906.
The commissioners reserve the
right to reject any or all bids as may
best serve the interests of city.
BY order of the Board of Water
Commissioners.
ADAM ECKERT,
Clerk.
5062-11-10-12-15-19
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

Sealed proposals will be received
by the Board of Water Commission
ers of the city of Perth Amboy. N. j.,
at the City Hall on November 81,
1906, at $3.50 p. M, for repairing
100000 gallon snow pump in ac-
cordance with specifications furnished
by Joseph G. Burns, superintendent.
The Board of Water Commission
ers reserve the right to reject any
or all bids as may best serve the in
terests of the city.
BY order of the Board of Water
Commissioners.
Perth Amboy, N. j., Nov. Z, 1906.
ADAM ECKERT,
Clerk.
11-10-12-15-19
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given that the under
signed intends making application to the
Board of Excise Commissioners o. tne
ing' for a license to keep q saloon with
the privilege of selling malt and spirit
how and in the house owned by
D. Bachman at 1s76mith st.
1899 lis ct Dew MAA AOCkI En-
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given that the under
signed intends making application to the
board of Excise Commissioners of the
! CITY of Perth Amboy at their next meet
ing, for a license to keep a saloon, with
the privilege of selling malt n spirit-
uous liquors in the City of Perth Ann
boy and in the house owned by
Andrew Anderson at rs Hall ave.
43is 1f.8 ct Dew CHRIS JoRGENsEN
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given that the under
signed intends making application to the
Board of Excise Commissioners of the
City of Perth Amboy, at their next meet
ing for a license to keep a Bottling
Establishment in the City of Perth Am
boy, and in the house owned by
himself at 36 Chaun ley st.
1914 11-3 ct Dew WIN.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

sTwosoas4hree simple-statemenfs Of
fact-iWa yant adj may change and
enlirgeA the Whole outlook for you.fs
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

Flat to Let-All improvements. In
quire las Broad street.
5043-11-10-2t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

For Sale--English Beagle hound,
broken to run rabbits. Apply Ed
win S. Lupton, Matawan, n. j.
4792-10-30-1mo.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

For Sale-First class wall paper and
mouldingp, exclusive designs. A.
Andersen, 40 New Brunswick ave-
nue.. Tel. Al r. II
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

A Square Piano in good order, $40.
Ludwig's Music House.
4~95s-11-6-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

To Rent-Nice fiat centrally located.
Rent $25. Enquire Evening News.
451S-10-15-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
SOME UPRISING NEWS

To anybody who wants a Piano:
We have placed on sale this week
several slightly used Pianos-some
are nearly new, others are Dut
slightly used.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
FOR SALE.

For SaIe-Oliver typewriter, $50. $40
will be refunded at end of thirty
days If o are not satisfied. Miss
Lembcke, 32S State street.
50S0-11-12-2t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
o FOR RENT.

Flat to Let-All improvements, SIP.
Enquire 257 New Brunswick ave
5072-11-12-1t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

Manufactured man and wife as
coachman and laundress. Apply
to c. A. Bloomfield, on Amboy road
to Metuchen. 4347-10-6-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

Would you Like to Own a good handy
typewriter? Looks like new. Can
be seer at the EVENING NEWS
Office. For sale less than half price.
3-17-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

All Kinds OF stove and furnace re-
pairs at the Sanitary Plumbing
and Construction Co., 5 King st. Tel
ephone 25SJ. 3715-9-1-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

Wantcd--5OO people who want first
class work done prompt. Plumb
ing, heating, roofing. Monaghan
shops-363 State street, city, ITO
Broadway. South Amboy. 3-3-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

How about your Roof and leaders for
the winter? Do they need repair
ing. If so, call on the Sanitary Plumb
ing and Construction Co., 5 King st.
Telephone 258J. 3714-9-1-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

Advertising in the NEWS brings
good resultsd1 w9oE ta ~,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

Resolutions e~ngrossed at Trainers
Private School. 133-2-7-lyr.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

1t is a Danish proverb that 1--WE
must sow even after a bad harvest "
And even after a half-success in y
campaign of store advertising We
MUST ADVERTISE AGAINi
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
HOUSES o SALE.
SITUATIONS wANTED-MALE.
HOUSES FOR RENT.

To Let-SiX room house, all improve
ments, $17. PSI New Brunswick
n 5071-11-12-1t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

Flat to Let-Five rooms and bath
with all improvements; fine loca-
ton. P. ]. Monaghan, South Amboy,
N. j. 3040-7-23-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

Money to Loan at 5 per cent. The
Bishop Co., ssh Smith street.
9~997-2-9-1y.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

To Let--Handsome sunny front room,
all improvements, suitable for one
or two. Haney, PAS State street.
50~59-11-10-2t
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
MONEY TO LOAN.

Money to Loan on bond and mort
gage at 8 per cent. Pierce G Wat
1177-4-12-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12
FURNISHED ROOMS TO LET.

For Rent-Furnished rooms, all mod
ern conveniences. References eX-
changed. los High street.
506S-11-12-tf
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

11-10-12-15-19
Perth Amboy evening news., 1906-11-12

and up-to-date. If you want
them right get them from us.
Prices in keeping with quail
ity.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-11-09
Blaming the Woman.

Boni de Castellane is playing time
honored role. role, indeed, that was taken
by the traditional first actor in The human
drama. no less star than Adam. Re-
garded for years throughout urope and
America the champion spendthrift OF
the period, marked out for especial atten-
ton in community of high livers as a
prince of prodigals, Boni now AYERS in court
that ii was not he who squandered the
cash. but his wife. 1t was the countess he
cries. who wanted the regal splendor of
domicile, the magnificence of maintenance,
the extravaganza of attire and appointment
that made the Castellane family consplcu-
Gus. 1t was to satisfy her desire for I'M
approachable magnifcence that drove him
to the usurers.
Boni was thoroughly .discredited propo-
sition before he entered the divorce court
His pleas in extenuation, his :,tters OF
protestation. his faxed illness and finally
his claim that he was but the victim of his
wife's reckless abuse of her own fortune
have merely completed the work Of expos
ing this contemplate cad to the ridicule OF
the world.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-11-09
The President at Sea.

The President of the United States is on
the sea, en- route for Panama. He will
be gone from Washington three weeks and
a half travelling in that time some 4.31I
miles by river. bay and ocean. and addi-
tional distances on land in the canal zone
and in Porto Rico. Every possible pre-
caution has been taken to insure his per-
feet safety. Only unpreventable accident
and stress of weather can upset the care
fully arranged plans for his safe return to
the capital. Provisions have also been
made for the maintenance of wireless COM
munications so that at all times ii viii be
possible to reach the President from this
city with information to obtain his COM
mands In matters of public business
Notwithstanding all these precautions
against physical injury to the President
and the serious interruption of the public
business, there will be deep anxiety in the
United States until he returns to Washing
ton. He will be exposed to the mis-
chances that beset those who follow the
sea. He will possibly be exposed to dis
ease in the canal zone. There will be
chance of Interruptions of vitality impor-
tsnt transactions of government There
are, indeed. serious apprehensions now that
the President has actually broken prece-
uenI anu set loTtH upOH ali cAteiiucu Joui
ney outside of the boundaries of the MAIN
land of the United States.
On the other hand. some citizens believe
II to be we'll that the President has thus
broken tradition and gone abroad. holding
that il is to the advantage of the public
service that the chief executive should
travel and see for himself the conditions
which bear upon his administration of the
national affairs. 1t has even. been suggested
that as a result of this journey future occu-
pants of the office may undertake Euro
pean Journeys or travel around the world.
- In. view of all risks. however. both to
himself and to the public business, the aues-
tion arises whether such Journeys are nee
essary or worth w!.le 1t may be asked
whether the President will be able to OBJ
tain a much clearer conception of condi
tions at Panama than he had before. with
information reaching him from all possible
sources. II he cannot trust his advisers
and agents in the enterprise of the canal
construction his personal inspection of the
work will not necessarily enable him to
secure reliable subordinates.
However these matters are now beyond
the range of profitable discussion The
President has gone to Panama. and all that
remains is TO hope for his safe return and
for his good health and for his sufficient
illumination on canal matters to justify the
risk and the public anxiety.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-11-09

tfonshfp that exists between Hearstism and
Organism. The two isms are much alike.
although there are men who have twice
accepted Organism and are willing to ac-
cept 1t again. and yet could not be induced
to accept Hearstism. They are nisied by
personalities. Mr.. Bryan's attractive char
acter and his address soften to them the
things for which he stands. while Mr
Hearst as a man increases the objection
ableness of the things for which he stands
Take an Illustration. Richard Croker is
coming back from Ireland, for the purpose.
as many believe. OF Kidding Tammany Hall
OF the Hearst influence. AS an independent
proposition that would secure for him the
aid of some powerful democratic influences
outside of Tammany-men who abhCr Mr.
Hearst as much as Mr.. Croker does. But
then will come the inquiry: for what is all
this? Mr. Croker's answer must be, to
advance the cause of Mr.. Bryan. He wants
Mr.. Bryan nominated and elected President
in 1908. and wants Tammany to help. Sue
cess without New York would be impos-
s!bie. and without Tammany's most active
aid New York could not be carried by the
democracy.
But this, in the opinion of many New
York democrats. would be almost as bad
as swapping the devil for a witch. They
are as much opposed to the one man as to
the other, and justify themselves by point
ing to the fact that Mr.. Bryan Endorses the
Hearst program. and wished him God-speed
in his race for governor. Before, there
fore. union of these forces can be eff
fected, either Mr.. Croker will have to
abandon Mr.. Bryan, or the democrats de-
scribed be won over to the Nebraskan.
Still. difficult as the situa ton may be.
all democrats who are heartened by the re-
lection of Hearst and Hearstism on Tues
day should lose no time in trying to get to-
gether. and then spare no pains in trying to
give to the country an opposition party
based upon brotherhood instead of class
hatred, and upon evolution instead Of rev.
olution. OF radicalism. socialism. and tie
mere effort to win at the polls with any
Old candidate on any old platform, TIE
country has had enough and to spare.