The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-05-23

private e0itoria! graveyard in the
known world, loved to call himself
"Fcrocious Bill' and tell of how many
human critters he had chawed up in
his time. Early in our editorial career
he objected to our speaking in friendly
terms of Noah. the ma who built and
sailed the ark. and he entered the office
him by two seconds.
No. 2.-The second was an indiyid-
ual whose cards bore the name of
"Terrible Tom" According to his "
story, he had killed twenty odd men
before we happened to bump against
him ut a street corne He drew to
plug us, but his gun missed fire. and
he was gathered to his fathers.
No. 3.-This mar passed under the
name of Savage SAM and he came u
hundred miles to protest against our
announcement that Nero was a good
fellow at heart and would have been
all right II his mother-in-law had let
him alone. We both fired at the same
time, but It was Savage Samuel who
formed the basis of a funeral process
sion next day. No one ever came to in
Quire about him, and we incline to the
belief that he was an orphan.
No. 4.-This gentleman rejoiced in
the sobriquet of 1.-The Grizzly" and the
manne in which he would chank his
teeth and growl made shivers run up
the backs Of all hearers. We recon-
mended the vigilance committee to
hang him, and he called and fired four
shots at us before we could get read;
for business. He didn't die for an hour
or two, but he died happy.
No. 5.-"Balu Eagle" as he called
himself, came into Giveadam Gulch one
day to raise q scalp. Happening to en-
counter us on the street. he was max
Ing ready to raise urs when our gun
vent off by accident, and he fell from!
his brOnchO and died fOrgiviny his ell
emies.
No. G.-This person called himself the
Poet of the Rocky mountains" and
after sending US over Il hundred poems,
none of which was printed, he called
IN person to see what was the matter.
The two of us got into a controversy
as to whether cabbages or poetry was
OF more consequence to our readers,
and after he had fired two shots we
had to arrange for his permanent stay
in town. The funeral procession was
a long and decorous one. The poet
seemed to have another poem or two
on his mind as he fell, but he had no
time to write them out.
No. THE true name of this pilgrim
has never been ascertaineu. He SIM
ply wrote us Il postal card from Utah
that he was en- route to remove us to
a hotter land than this. We took 1t rs
a joke until he walked In on us one
morning and began plugging away.
After he had cut two buttons off our
Goa and barked our left ear we made
arrangements for his obsequies. He
had forgotten to hand up his card, and
he expired too suddenly to go into ex-
plantations. We have him recorded on
our books as Sudden jim and a
mountain rose blooms on his last rest
ing place.
NO. S.-We We're running weather
predictions and congratulating ourself
that we were hitting it once out of ten
times when Major Harper appeared in
our sanctum with gun in hand. We
had predicted Il balmy day. and it had
showed al his %cucumbers under. He
announced that we deserved death and
began pegging away. AS he was Il
cross eyed man we lodged him for five
minutes. but he got our range under
the desk at last. and we had to add
him to u list. We could have mar.
Fled his widow a year later. but for
bore We trust that he awoke in a
better land.
No. D. This gentleman's business
card read: Happy Jim. Happy all day
:ong. Hill raised on short notice"