Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1906-07-12
SHAKESPEARE DOWN TO DATE
Modern Translation of the Bard of Avon's
Historic Masterpieces.
TWELFTH NIGHT
BY STRICKLAND w. GILLIAN

bulletin and learned that the messen-
ger from Orsy was eating his lunch
there, using the rainwater barrel for a
! finger bowl and wiping his hands on
the morning glories, she said:
We'll, Orsy sure is in earnest by
this time. Pm getting him right where
I've wanted him He seems to sure
mean business. I'll see the adhesive
kid"
When vi came in with the letter in
the large canvas telescope, Liv said
to herself:
| "Oh, the sweet thing! Why he's got
the duke skinned both ways from the
jack, for looks and manners and every
thing else. And the nerve! Gee, you
couldn' shake it with a ton of dyna-
mite. No duke for mine, if l can put
the handouts on this Huh-uh!"
vi managed the love affair carefully
so that the foxy Liv should not get
sucker and sucker on her instead of
on the duke, in the meantime doing
all she could to make herself as nee
essary as a mornings morning to the
boss himself. Liv was as patient as
possible with her butler and a few
|
her, because manual or other toll was
distasteful to them, and kept on think.
ing about this cute boy of the dukes.
Liv had hired girl named Maria
who was case. She had three gentle
man friends besides the policeman and
the iceman, and she kept all of them
doing charades. Malvolio, Liv's but
Ter, had such case of swelled head
that the others of the help were all
sore at him, SO Maria, who could
write her mistress hand to the "t.' put
up job. She wrote letters in Liv's
mitt and left them scattered about the
place where Nal would pipe them
These letters told him to do all sorts
Of foolish things, and he was sucker
enough to bite and do them. Maria
had put the gang wise, and they very
nearly died laughing the next few days
at Mails capers. To top it off, they
had an insanity commission sit on him
and the report was that his head was
in worse fix than a. packing house a
la jungle. So he was taken away tc
the dippy domicile, where a comedian
rugged up as a priest went and kidded
him. They were the real village cut
| ups.
Meanwhile things were getting bad
ly muddled with the leading man and
woman and their understudies. The
duke was getting worse and worse
wrapped up in vi and thought it was
Liv he wanted, though vi knew better
and didn't worry Also, Liv was get
ting to the sleepless point about vi
and vi was chewing holes in the pill
low slips every night thinking abou
. Orsy. Wasn't that kettle O
peaches?
i One of Liv's taggers was so sore a
vi that he challenged her to a duel
vi couldn't rlay boy on that worth E
whoop, and was scared to a pa;e
mauve color trimmed with robins egg
blue.
j But just then things began tc
straighten out They had to. 1t was
getting near 10:45, and the cabs were
. beginning to stop in front Of the the
alter.
! Wis brother, Sebastian. came along
and they were such ringers for eact
other that Liv got stuck on him, AM
never knew the difference until afte'
C1Cy WCAC lIdl l lCd vi lhC SulSL, dIiN
then she didn't care. Sebastian wal
just as smit with Liv as Liv was will
him, and so 1t was mighty fine. Ors.
kept up his spiel at Liv, though it hat
} merely become habit, and he didn'
} mean it as much as he used to, ant
! vi kept a gentling bit on him all TIL
, time without his knowing it. Brothe
, Sebastian took part in that duel tina
! vi was so much scared of, because TIN
, other man took him for vi and tackled
. him on the street corner. What Ba
did to the other fellow kept three SUI
geons Ebusy with their sewing ma
chimes for week. So vi had earne,
a reputation as scrapper.
Then came the finish Liv met V
in Orsy's presence and called he
hubby" vi renigged Indignantly, an
tried to square herself with Orsy, WIN
was mighty sore to think his valet hal
cut him out Liv got on her higl
horse because she thought her NAL
was renouncing her in company, an
nobody can blame her, either.
But just then Bias sauntered in. hi
. cieaver still steaming with the corpus
Giles Of the chap he had sliced, and Il
d few minutes things were clearer. v
and Bas were as surprised about 1t a
anyone, for each one thought the 9th
er was dead and that there wer
spooks walking.
When it finally got through tn
. dukes occiputal bone what had har
pened, he was the tickledest duke yo
; ever saw. He said he had been keer
ing up forced feed pressure all tn
| time on that Olivia stunt, ever sine
| he had taken in Little Brooches, there
And he told vi to hike for the commc
) dores house and get her dress, 5
they could be married before he wa
out of the notion.
Moral-When woman starts afte
man, he has his choice betwee
prussic acid and marriage license
/ Copyright, 1906, by S. w. Gillian