davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

Cremnitz white-rd do anything in the
world for art.
J. Caustic-well. why don't you quit
painting Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

PROF. BASH said the distractingly
pretty young woman, what is aphasia2"
1T is inability, Miss Gladys" answered
the young professor, ito utter the words
that express ones thoughts or feelings.
and often 1t comes suddenly upon one"
You are troubled with it to some ex-
tent yourself, are you not professor
It took him only half a second to COM
prehend. and he wasn't troubled with it
any more.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

Senator Patterson should not demur
to caucus rule. 1t gave him an oppor-
tunity to bolt.-Nashville Banner.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

..FIe carved out his own fortune.
Nonsense! He married It.
We'll, he had to cut out a lot OF olAeE
didn't he2''-Cleveland Leader
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

Did you hear that the daughter Of that
rich man in the next block had been
driven from homer
mo. When did It hapDen?"
Just after she got into the carriage. -
Baltimore American
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

Two is the limit allowed" replied the
Bostoniau. "a cOuDIe of philadelphia pa
pers is an they take. Boston Transcript
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

Miss Ingenue-Aren't you nearly ready
Miss Passay-I haven't made up my
mind to go yet. -.
Miss Ingenue-Oh, do you have TO make
that I'D. too2-Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

Now. then, Tommy" said the teacher.
lis it right to say the winter mas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

''Why do you teach your cnlIdTen @ 70
cite and sing?''
'WeIl'' answered the practical woman s.
there has to be some way OF starring
people who come to see you and IorgeS
when it's time to go home. W ashirlg TON
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

Nippkins-Why so blue, old boy?
Bliffkins-I tried to economic by mar
rying my typewriter.
Nippkins-Good ideal
Blinkins-No, it wasn't. She refuses to
do any more typewriting. demands two
servants to take care of her, and insists
that my next typewriter shall be a man,
although men want larger salaries
Punch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

That is quite a public library you
have" remarked the visitor from Phila-
delphia. But you should watch out for
the snoozeTs. saw two men in the news
paper room fast asleep over their pa
pers ~
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

went?'
"Ahl And why not?'
know along would come a blizzard an
make yer ont a liar ''-Phfadelphfa Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

In kansas City. just before the half
hour call was given. one OF the stage
hands raped on Miss Gray's door and
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

Tommy. why are you not at your sis
ter's wedding?''
"'Cause she's marryin' de wrong man.
an toid en- "a sing right out an tell
What's the matter with that young
He yanked me out from under the So
IA once an spanked me!"-Chicago Tri-
bune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-14

Bobby-Say. they have some smart de-
tectiyes in the police department They
can find out who robbed place by thumb
marks
Benny-That's nothing why. our cook
can do that every time swipe Jam ont
of the pantry.-Chicago Daily News
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-28
WHY POPCORN POPS.
Contains Oil, which Heat Expands
Till the Kernel ExpIodes.

What makes popcorn pop asks the
nquisitiyc yOungster.
By the eVasiye replies he receives. says
Good Housekeeping. il Is evident that the
real reason is not generally known
The different kinds of corn contain oil IN
varying proportions In popcorn there Is
a considerable amount. This expands
when heated. becesaes explosive, and
causes the kernels to pop open in COM
mon corn the percentage Of oil is small
and for this reason il only cracks, with
out exploding. when heated.
Popcorn is inexpensive and nutritious
as well. if not used to overiudUlgence
From soup to dessert It finds a place on
our menus. while q great variety Of
sweets may be made from il. It is a
pleasing conceit Of to-day II sprinkle
larSe and perfect grains Of freshly-pop-
ped corn over light. thin cream soups
just as each portion il served.
Floating on the surface, they are Ger
taInly attractive and are also a most
excellent substitute for waters or crou-
tons Another clever idea is 20 serve
fresh buttered popcorn with salad Inc
combination is delicious and the corn
should be tastefully arranged, encircling
mound OF salad.
Popcorn. either sugared or buttered.
may fttingly be served with plain Ice
cream and ices and the combination Is
both novel and dainty.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-28

when an express wagon, bearing a won
drous apparition on the seat alongside the
driver. clattered TO the side of tho Luly
Alice.
'Wawsy mer' shTilIed a small female.
wrestling with a large baby. That must
be the passenger Isn't he nice?"
Mr.. Bloke. tourist, had at length ar
rived under auspices that lured the tickle
public away from the amphIbious MT
jenkins, who had jettisoned all his per
sonal assets by this time and was no
longer a popular attraction.
Vast heaving.7 yelled Mr.. Bloke. sew
eraI, seconds after the wagon stopped,
thereby awakening the horse from a
placid dOzc into which he had lapsed.
Mr.. Barnacle and his able second be-
layed the flashing on which they were en-.
ployed at the further side OF the Luly
Alice and stumbled over to the wagon.
was You alooding 10 u.s." the chief
rate demanded, with blistering dignity.
No, sir. said Willie.
Then wot do you mean by vast heaving
around here in them toDes?'
Il was giving the horse little Jolly,
"Oh, it's all right sir; the animal has
got the heaves,' said the second mate. at
which brutal gibe al hands laughed ex-
/ cept the expressman, and TIE tourist sid
out Of the wagon feeling stung.
II was then the populace beheld a real
traveller To begin with. Mr.. BIoke wore
an immense white cork helmet that re-
sembIed an inverted chopping bowl, spot
less suit of near-duck. white hose and
low. pipe-clayed canvas shoes. with pink
rubber soles and pale strings. a white
cotton umbrella green lined. p pair Of
marine glasses slung TO his ribs in q
black leather case. completed the tropical
outfit Of this tourist about to be person
/ ally conducted by one Z. Barnacle chief
mate. One trunk and bundle of back
number magazines. which the driver
dumped on the wharf. supplied all that
Willie deemed he required in the way OF
/ luggage
Leaving his goods and chattels where
they fell. Mr.. BIoke jumped on board and
stepped from the deckioad to the roof Of
the dingy cabin. There he paused 10 sa-
lutte Capt Jute. who stlH sat in state on
the skyEght, working his fluent salivary
out-in-the- bounding pillows pose where
/ the populace could enjoy him 10 the Ut
most.
DO you dgger on going 20 sea with
That there trooso aIongside:" Mr.. Barna-
Gle sung out.
Il had thought some of taking il with
me- Nj Bloke facctiously replied.
Hustle n aboard then this afu't M
ocean greyhound with benboys on every
plank"
''whero'u I put it?''
In the cabin. reckon, unless You pre-
fers 10 take It astern.
Again the spectators giggled. and for
the first time In his seafaring career the
tourist suspected he had taken the wrong
boat for a period Of unalIoyed pleasure
This suspicion grew TO positive evil
dence Of crime IS he wrestled the trunk
and magazines. knocking OFF his new cork
helmet and aunexing dauhs OF tar and
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-28

- EAVING the blighted Mr.. Tokens
and lis unmitgated love affair
- under cover for the present, We
will lead the intelligent peruser
back to the water front and the
other seven Boilers. Her sailing day
found the Luly Alice ready for sea and
sagging low beneath q cargo of nude lum-
Der. whisky. corrugated iron, coal tar, and
similar nutritious commodities much Is
teemed by the whites and natives of the
South Seas, whittier she was bound.
The crew mad not yet been dragged
aboard the little island trader. by the man
stealers of the blIge-water district. nor
was the scenes graced By the presence OF
Mr. Willie BIole, tourist They were wait-
ing for him Capt Jute. in new suit OF
blue and brass, sat on the cabin skylight
cxpectorating in desultory fashion be-
tween the prongs of his mustache Now
and then he swore in q minor key. Mr..
Barnacle and a dish-faced gentleman
named Hayes. the second mate. employed
themselves az swearing with great spirit
and abandon at nothing special and LASH
ing the wire cables that held tho deckload
Of lumber in position.
This marine spectacle could not be des-
ignated as spelIbinding in any way. yet
The wharf was crowded, as usual. with
oilers and sightseeTs gazing almost rap
turcusly at the sodden tub and her illus
rrious officers The water side OF q busy
port like san Francisco holds some fasci-
nation even for the mind Of a mutt. a
halo Of romance minus the hard knocks
and privations envelops such characters
as Capt. Jute and his chief mate, 70 say
nothing of the vessel. Scraps OF sea tales
The landsman has read fit into the scene
and set his fancy rowing Unmindful Of
rhe dust and noise of jolting coal cars.
Vhe chug of hosting wiuches, and similar
sounds that would cause distraction else
where. the dreamer sees new countries
and strange peoples rising out Of the foam
II surging thought Forget it
a stalI-fed cop addicted to fatty degeu-
GRAFTON Of the face leaned against d moor
ing pile. inhaling the exhaust from an
Early Grave scent cigar and thinking of
his next pay day. The cop was there to
preserve the peace. for the reason that "a
crowd Of this character is as mute and
docile as a funeral gathering
While all hands waited Tor the tide
and NJ. Bloke. a diversion occurred in
The next slip. A man. whiskered like a
chinese god and wearing a derby hat OF
he heirloom variety. rushed through the
crowd Stepping to the edge of the
wharf. Prof. Buttinski joined his hands
above his head. emitted one horrible
shrek. and launched himself into the
.1ay- Several women tainted as the bub-
sling brine closed over his heels. The
Men called for something 10 throw over
board, 50 the. valiant SweJes on bat
tered schooner eIosa by tossed out the
iron handle oil the deck pump, wrecked in
- recent collision.
After n moment. of awful suspense the
heirloom derby. followed by a beery
smile and a bunch Of whiskcrs clustering
with crystal drops, appeared upon the
surface. Then the entire body foated UP
and lay at length. the arms folded across
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-28

the chest and the feet peeping' roguishly
above the brine
Hold fast. men; don't chuck over any
thing more said the policeman. IT'S
Nutty Jenkins lie thinks he's capt
Paul Boyton in a rubber suit. Been
that way for years Iii there. jenkinsi
come up out Of that"
His ears being submerged. Mr.. Jenkins,
alias Boyton. heard not the words. Of
command He continued TO float in the
presence OF an awestricken populace-
Blast him. mUttered tire COP. Hes
always doing that fool trick
Won't he be drowned OF catch his
death OF cold?1 one of the women who
had tainted asked. hopefully.
Nit. lady This is his regular graft.
Whenever q gang of rubberneeks collects
he thinks it smart 10 jump overheard and
show off. I'll pinch him next time he
does it,
jenkins. alias Boyton, went ahead
with lEs star performance regardless OF
the pinchins possibilities Of the future
No matter what section OF the district
he infested. saloon always sneaked up
and stood behind him. and this persecu-
ton sometimes drove Mr.. Jenkins into
the water for temporary relief lie float
ed without effort and seemed TO enjoy
the excitement raging on tho wharf
Once he raised his head 10 note whether
or not his toes were fully exposed. in
accordance with the correct form Of ar
tistic floating This action caused the
complete immersion Of three marooned
cockroacEes flying signals OF distress on
the highest point of Mr. Jenkins whis-
kers and sent them hustling TO the hat
brim to dry their feet. In aquatic opera
tions MI jenkins paid little heed to his
personal effects, which fact was made
plain when he tried TO swim in a circle
on his back.
First came a half-pint bottle that con-
tanned nothing but the cork, which drift
cd out of an inside pocket and bobbed
along in the wake OF the swimmer. His
garments gave up in turn a block of red
headed sulphur matches, one corncOb pipe.
complete in every detail except the stem.
a few soggy. peanuts, two soiled cards. n
stub of lead pencil and some wooden
toothpicks that had seen better days.
Another graceful evolution released a
pink handbill giving expert testimony as
TO the whereabouts Of the best bad meal
in the city.
Think of a man of family doing a
chump act like that" the cop remarked.
I'm tones of burning DISCUSS.
rs he marred?" asked a careworn Jit-
tie man, wearing a hunted look
''WeH, 7 should say; twice 10 my knoWl-
edge. and the father Of nirc."
The careworn little man gazed at the
fictitious Paul Boyton with something
akin To- Teproach
II he jumped in and forgot to float. Id
give him credit for better sense.
you need o pill and need it bad: stand
farther away from the edge said the
con. With which prescription he grabbed
the gessimist and showed him into toe
rear rank. Tho aquatic marvel IN tho
water. wrcathed in damp whiskers and
smiles of deep content. was stiII wallowine
about among his fotsam and jetsam,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-28
CUNNING. BUT NOT BRAVE.
Cougar Not as Dangerous aS Many
People Believe Him to re.
From SpHIs A1eld


Regarding the cougar. the largest mem
Der of the feline family in the United
states, it may be said that it is blessed
with more than "a rightful share Of
names An one section IL Is the pan
Their somewhere else Il is termed the
mountain lion, in another locality it is
called a puma" and the oid-tine back
wO0dsmau viii ten you blood-cUrdliHg
stories OF the painter" Ia Northeastern
Washington & Is generally spoken OF as
the cougar"
The writer in "a long life spent with
rife and trap. has hunted and killed
these animals in their native haunts and
can bear witness TO one truth regarding
them all: wherever found or under what
ever name their habits are identical.
Among many pcople-and this includes
those who should know betteT-this ami
mai is looked upon as very dangerous
Awe-insplrinE stories are told Of the
cougar springing from a rocky ledge or
an overhsnging tree and rending the hap
less Wayfarer passing beneath. These
anecdotes have been heard by all and be-
iieved by many, nor Will I deny that sucn
things may have occurred; but IL is safe
20 say that practically al these stories
are exaggerated, ana many OF them
downright lies
over thirty years ago in company with
an old and experienced froutiersman.
vas shooting deer. elk, and bears and
selling the meat 20 q gang OF tie cutters
IN the Rocky Mountains. Cougars were
more abundant than 1 ever saw them
elsewhere; Yet il was perfectly safe to
roam the woods at Will Rolled in my
blankets ] have passed many "a night An
der the sheltering branches of some big
tree, without even a fire 10 scare these
animals away.
was never attacked by one unless it
was cornered or perhaps so badly wound
ed as TO be unable TO get away Under
these conditions nearly any animal viii
fight for its life.
The cougar, when followed by the
hunter on foot. viii often double on its
trail, make long loop and hide until its
pursuer passes. and then perhaps take
the back track for miles After a long
s chase the man with the gun comes along
still hanging 10 the tail and discovers
where the animal lay ana watches him
go by-p0ssibly upon some Uverhanging
rock, from which, had il been so disposed.
it might have bounced upon its enemy
and torn him TO sEreds. or perhaps behind
a log under which If had scratched peep
hole
There are many old trappers living In
the haunts OF these animals who have
never seen a cougar except in trap. All
the large cats are afraid of mankind and
retire quietly and softly at the approach
Of their enemy.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-28

has had many years experience in the
charge Of hospitals and similar institu-
lions. Il was estimated that the docTor
would need TO give only four hours dag
10 the colony, the charge for this being
divided with the childTen's establishment.
The ChiIdren'S Colony.
His children's colony IS a main and pet
feature OF Mr.. SiucIair's cooperative
housekeeping experiment He gave thesc
important details. First said he
there Is a Kindergarten establishment
for forty children between the ages o.
three and seven. Charged 10 the account
Of this establishment are the services
OF two kindergartncrs and three assist
ants, one hOUsekeeper and an assistant
two trained nurses and four nurses help
ers. cook and assistant, and "a physi-
clan. The total expense is $40 a year
Then there IS Il school establishment
for forty children between the ages of
seven and fourteen Here the staff, be-
sides nurses and helpers, tho doctor
cook, housekeeper, CT al. includes four
teachers and q head teacher, and the cx-
pense Is estimated at Ss.650"
Mr.. Sinclair said that the total capital
ization Of the home colony would be
something like Sg75,000 the children's
building representing about s250l0; the
main building with its equipment $40
900; the laundry and dairy establishments.
$1,000; the land, S300o0. and improve
ments." sos 0o He said.
What Members viii Pay.
The members and residents will 70 in
10 the colony with the understanding that
they are TO be charged for board and ali
the expenses Of the colony pro rata,
whereas those who are sought as en-
ployes Of the colony have to be offered
some definite terms Hence q certain
number OF hours per week OF unskiIIed
labor viii DE named as equivalent to
board, room rent and the various public
privileges OF the colony. Those who de-
sire 10 work this number OF hours or
more viii be classified as workers.
while those who work less VIII be known
as residents and viii be charged as
non-working residents and members Of
the colony. their earnings being credited
10 their account
And now let me repeat in q word that
what I an king here is a simple bust
ness proposition. ! aHi not dreaming any
sort of self-supporting colony 70 set
new ideal and realize the cooperative
Commonwealth.
L am a member Of the Socialist party
and all the hopes Of my life are there
Here in EngiewOod I am simply form
Ing. an association OF persons who may
possess but moderate incomes in order
10 secure the benefits Of the application
of the machine process to their domestic
affairs That is all
Mr.. Sinclair's experiment viii be watch
ed with interest.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-28
Fearing the Higher Court.

From the Philadelphia press
Wiseman-I think it's good business
opportunity for you, don't youg
Peckman-I don't know yet haven't
consulted my wife.
Wiseman-Wen, but what's your opin-
ion2
Peckman-Really, You know, I'm not
much OF q lawyer, but I'm always care
fGl not to give an opinion until I'm rea-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-28
Necessities of Woman.

From the Chicago Eyening Post
To love.
To be loved.
To be told 50. sometimes.
To have something 10 DO.
To be dealt with sincerely
To be sympatheticaliy understood.
To be praised once in while.
To have her Judgment respected.
To inspire both passion and reverence
in the same man.
To have great. big-hearted boss who
will let her have her own way until she
is in danger Of making foot of herself,
and Will then curb her gently.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-28

II will be perceived that the japanese
government sn0w pays almost double the
original cost of constructing the private
railways. and there is no suggestion of
graft or excessive valuation IN the trans
action. The price paid was twenty times
the average Of the net earnings from OPP
Grafton for 1892. 1868. and 1894. divided by
the cost of construction and multiplied
by the paid-up capital.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-28
JAPAN BUYING RAILWAYS.
Government Paying High Price for
Naturalization of Her Highways.

undertaken to Eauonalize seventeen pri-
yatc railways, having a total Of 2.SS7 miles
OF line. at cost Of 42l,5l0O00 yen tS2I0,
10000. or about $4,000 a mile. the latest
annual report of Ichiji Yamauouchi di-
rector Of the imperial bureau Of railways
Of Japan. for the fiscal year ended March
81, 1905, becomes of the highest historical
and comparative value
The total mileage open for traffic in 1906
was 4,N3. divided AS follows: Government
railways. .i6i miles: private railways.
l232 miles. This showed an increase of
nearly rs miles over 1904
Calculating the japanese yen at 20 cents
commercially 49.S cents. the cost of con-
struction of the mileage was:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-28
Tuin REFORMS.

Fran the Chicago Tribune.
Football probably has been reformed in
the same way that hazing has been abol-
ished.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1906-06-29

field Robert was backed up against
dead wall. Two of his adversaries had
gone to grass. and the third was hest
tating to prosecute the attack alone.
Seeing his hesitation. Bob-great STRAIT
cgist that he was-instantly decided to,
convert his successful defense into a
successful offense without delay. Quit
ting his defensive position against the
wall, he rushed upon his remaining ad-
versary, who promptly reiterated with
out waiting to reckon upon the casual
ties.
Then Bob jumped upon his other and
slowly rising antagonists, knocked
them down again and hurriedly exact
ed of each wish may die" promise
TO let Little Missile" alone from that
day forth.
Good for you, Bobl" exclaimed
young Duncan. "But well make that
promise more binding. Help me, and
I'll take these young ruffians before
Judge Gross and compel them to give
bonds for good behavior"
1t didn't take long to arraign the cul-
prits, prove that they had thrown
brickbat through Barbara's window
and secure an order of the court re
curing them to give considerable
bonds for good behavior in future.
This brought their parents into court
and subjected them to a good deal of
annoyance and trouble. They had to
give bonds, and. more troublesome
still, they had to control their boys.
Then again the newspapers published
the facts.
In this way Gulford Duncan multi
piled his enemies in Cairo. But he had
a deep seated conviction that il is
worth a mans while TO make enemies
by doing right. In this matter he had
done only right. He had invoked the
he had completely accomplished his
purpose. He cared nothing for the re-
vikings that ensued, but ODER, the man
of brains and character who edited the
principal newspaper of the town, took
the matter up and made much of ii.
This town is barbaric," he wrote in
his editorial columns. at owes sincere
thanks to Mr. Guilford Duncan for
teaching Ii that law is supreme; that 1t
is to the law we should appeal in every
case of wrongdoing. The parents of
the young hoodlums who have been
bound over to keep the peace have long
needed this lesson. This newspaper
rejoices that the lesson has been given
in so emphatic and conspicuous man