The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-10-16
TWAIN on ~sPELLIN.'r
Speaks ut Associated Press Dinner at
Waldorf.


Speaks ut Associated Press Dinner at
Waldorf.
Mark Twain spoke on Reformed
Spellin" at the dinner of the news
paper editors of the United States,
comprising the Associated Press of
America, held at the Waldorf recently.
Melville E. Stone, general manager of
the Associated Press. was the toast
master. With Mr.. Stone at the guests
table also sat General Horace Por-
ter, former ambassador to France, who
replied to the toast, Our Guests"
author of "a Real Boys Diary" told
of Critics." while Professor George
E. Vincent of Chicago university,
spoke OF the Purely Academic" Mr..
Twain said in part
l am here to make an appeal to the
nations in behalf of the simplified
spelling. have come here because
they cannot all be reached, except
through you. There are only two
forces that can carry light to all the
corners of the globe-only two-the
sun in the heavens and the Associated
Press down here. may seem to be
fiattering the sun, but l do not mean
1t SO, am meaning only to be Just
and fair all round. You speak with
million voices; no one can reach so
many races, SO many hearts. and in
tellects as you, except Rudyard
Kipling, and he cannot do it without
your help.
If the associated Press will adopt
and use our simplified forms and thus
spread them to the ends of the earth.
covering the whole spacious planet
with them as with garden of flow.
ers, our difficulties are at an end.
Every day of the, 365 the only pages
OF the worlds countless newspapers
that are read by all the human beings
and angels and devils that can read,
are those pages that are built out of
Associated Press dispatches. And
so | beg you, beseech you-oh, 1
implore you-to spell them in our SIM
plified forms. Do this daily, constant
ly, persistently, for three months
only three months-it is all ask.
The infallible result? Victory, victory
all down the line.
Do l seem to be seeking the good
of the world? That is the idea. 1t is
my public attitude; privately l am
merely seeking my own profit. We
all do it, but it is sound, and it is
virtuous. for no public interest is any,
thing other or nobler than massed
accumulation of private interests. In
1888. when the simplified spelling
movement first tried to make noise,
| was Indifferent to it; More, even
trreverently scOffed at it. What l
needed was an object lesson, you see;
it is the only way to teach some peo-
pie. Very we'll, got it. At that time
| was scrambling along, earning the
family's bread on. magazine work at
cents word, compound words at
single rates, just as it is in the dark
present. l was the property of mag
azine, a 7-cent slave under a boiler
iron contract. One day there came a
note from the editor requiring me to
write ten pages on this revolving text:
Considerations concerning the al
legged subterranean holophotal extern
poraneousness of the conchylfaceous
experimentation of the ornithorhyn-
Gus, as foreshadowed by the unintelli-
gfbility of its plesiosaurian anisodac-
tylous aspects"
Ten pages of that. Each and every
word seventeen jointed vestibuled
railroad train. Seven cents word.
saw starvation staring the family
in the face. l went to the editor, and
I took a stenographer along, SO as to
have the interview down in black and
white. l said: Read that text, Jack
son. and let it go on the record; read
it out loud" He read it: Consider
alton Concerning the Alleged Sub
terranean HolOphotal Extemporane-
BUSINESS of the Conchyliaceous Super
imbrication of the Orithorhyncus, as
FOreshadOwed by the Unintelligibility
of Its Plesiosaurian Anisodactylous
Aspects"
said: You want ten pages OF
those rumbling, great, long, summer
thunder peals, and you expect to get
them at cents peal?"
He said: "A words word. and Z
cents is the contract: what are you
going to do about it,"
said: jackson. this is cold-blood-
ed oppression. What's an average
English word?"
He said: six letters"
ANOlulHSo vi lHC NIuu, lutll
French, and includes the spaces be-
tween the words: an average English
word is four letters and a half. BY
hard, honest labor have dug all the
large words out of my vocabulary and
shaved it down till the average is
three letters and half. | can put
1900 words on your page and there's
not another man alive that can come
within 200 of it, My page is worth
$S4 to ME. 1t takes exactly as lLlg
to fill your magazine page with long
words as it does with short ones
four hours. Now, then. look at the
criminal injustice OF this requirement
of yours. I am careful. l am economi-
cal of my time and labor. For the
family's sake I've got to be. So 4
never write metropolis for z cents. be-
cause l can get the same money for
city. never write policeman. be-
cause I can get the same price for
cop. And so on and so on. never
write valetudinarian at all. for not
even hunger and the wretchedness can
humble me to the point where l will
do a word like that for cents. I
wouldn't do it for Is. Examine your
obscene text, please; count the
words" He counted; and said it was
twenty-four. / asked him to count
tho 1offorc He made II O03