Los Angeles herald., 1906-10-03
Pi-LineS and Pick-UUs
The Campaign ciosr

i
You wonder whence it cometh as you
J wander forth afnr;
Then remember--'tis the season OF the
tough campaign cigar.
The candidates are busy buttonholing
voters shy,
And their pockets are fair bulging with
their smokabe supply;
They will talk an arm Oft of you and
will end It with Jar,
And before you have recovered. you've
lit campaign cigarl
Oh, the smell that's in your nostrls OF
the 'Punkerlno" brandt
oh, the awful empty feeling. till youre
scarce able to stand
All your nelghbors seek seclusion: tiey
can tell just where you are
By the stencil that is emitted from your
vile campaign clgarl
You declare you'll never handle any
more such awful things.
But another office-holder then another
at you filings;
'Tis a "Cabbageleafarino." To oblge
you leap the bar,
No saloon will tolerate the puff of
campaign cigar
Woe, OH woe! For they are many
when the campaigns good and hot.
But of all the wretohed troubles, there's
no other that is not
Easy borne and least remembered, be
1t near or be 1t far,
When considered in relation to the punk
campaign cigar!
! A new novel is called Before Ad-
am" If 1t tells the naked truth, won't
Anthony Comstock get the jar of his
| life!
Russian nihilsts now use autos
Probably recognize them as the dead
Hest known weapon.
| That Chicago consumptive who built
house in a tree must expect a lot
of good from the climb-it.
Poppy-why didn't you let him kiss
Magnolia--He can't keep secret
Do the breakers roar because the
white caps are always flashing the
| A Chicago lawyer says there are
only two places worse than Windy
town. Yes, we know about hell, but
what's the other one?
Jim's Trademark
| On last Wednesday afternoon well
dressed gentleman stepped into the
News office At first we were unable
to tell whether he YVES a governor
congressman or just an ordinary JUS
| tice of the peace but upon a closer
scrutiny we recognized his celluloid
collar as one we had seen on several
former occasions and we knew 1t was
our old-time friend, Jim Creets, who
had just returned from Sunnysde.-
Bickleton (ore.) News.
A Chicago firm makes straw candy.
That ought to tickle the kids.
Not every steamer trunk lives up to
| its labels.
Mrs. Orange-Do you do your own
cooking in an emergency?
| Mrs. Lemon-No, in the kitchen
- -
This itch for office is keeping lot
of good men scratching just now
The Label tsa
(The new law, requiring truth in
| all statements conveyed by labels,
| went into effect yesterday--News
Item)
The labels on the can today; we know
just what we eat;
They cannot fool us longer when we ask
'em for treat;
The little label tells us. the ingredients
we know
All the guess work now is over-for the
label says it's so!
Nevermore the groundup rabbit will
come forth as chiclxa0 Dta.
INevermore to give us mutton will the
billygoats all die;
Nevermore the festive lunch ham will
be made OF knuclSles--no.
We will now know what we're eating,
for the label says it's sol
In the days gone by, we flourished on
dried feet that ne'er was COW,
And we prospered on the boiled ham
that was little pork, vowl
We were glad to drink beef extract that
a beef would never know
But we dine on what we like now for
the label says it's sol
Once the sausage growled when heated;
once the soups were alkali;
Once the tongue no sound e'er uttered,
and the lard nser knew sty
Once the remnants and the scrabble
went to fill our maws. but no.
That times past and gone forever, for
the label says it's so!
oh. the label on the tin can. let me sing
in praise OF thee.
Now the day has come when Ill know
what put inside o. mel
Blessed label, truthful label; what
world of things you show!
Now we're sure about our eating, for
the label says it's so!
| w. II. c.
MILLINERY FOR OCTOBER