River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-12-06
HE GUARDS A CROSSING.
1890

ST wa-ant FIR to ta-alk to ye," said
Policeman Flynn.
"Take that out of there or I'll bref K
it," exclaimed the contractor.
"Ye'll br-reak tn shpoke iv ye-er
wheel If ye-er hor-rse moves" retort-
ed Policeman Flynn. AN I Wa-ant
FIR to give We warnin' that tn Mkt
time we go scootin' over tn 'crossin'
may damage me club, but ye-er bug
gyll go to the ray-pair shop. Now
g'wan an don't be blockin' up tn
r-road."
That settled the contractor, and
thereafter Policeman Flynn was the
autocrat of his crossing. But he had
other troubles, and his methods were
not always those that would be ap-
proved at headquarters. The advice
that he gave on various occasions
while undoubtedly good, was too sharp
and pointed. A man from the coun-
try secured his attention one day and
told him he had been asked to cash a
check for a stranger who had to catch
train to go to sick wife.
"'Twas tn OF gag iv the confidence
man." said Policeman Flynn in tell
ing about 1t, "but tn felly from tn
country was sorry FIR him, an he says
to me, bein' in a bit iv doubt from all
he'd hear-rd iv city wa-ays: If you
was me- he says, what w'u'd We do?'
An l says to him: IF I was you.'
says, 'Id ha-ave a guardeen appointed
an thin hire a guide An he whit
AWAY ma-ad.
"But It's tn women gives me tn
most throuble. Ohoi tn women!
Nine out Nv livery tin iv thin is lack
in NERVE or Use sinse Wan Nv thin
shteps out fut or two an thin r-runs
back Thin she thries it wanst more
an tbs up to me FIR to iscoort her
acrost. TIL mkt wan ducks her head
an goes like a chicken crossin' q
r-road. caught wan " that kind
yisterda-ay whin she was r-runnin'
fright under pair iv prancin'
horses. Dye think ye're a bird?
says /, that We can shpread ye-er
wings and ma-ake straight line?
An instid iv thankin' me she whit
AWAY ma-ad, too"
OF course, in time the fame of Po-
liceman Hymns methods and COM
ments reached headquarters, owing to
some complaints that were made, and
he was given quiet reprimand
above all things you must be cour-
teous," he was told, and, with his Gus
tomary desire to master completely
anything that he undertook, he went
out to buy book on etiquette. This
was his undoing, for it is indeed a wise
man who knows how to utilize the In
formation in such a volume. He fol
lowed the instructions implicitly, and
many a woman wondered at the elab-
orateness of his bow and the tactful
nature of HIS reply when he was asked
to do some absurd thing entirely out
of the line of his duty; for women are
occasionally unreasonable In their re-
quests of the guardians Of the law
He even kept his temper and acted
with creditable discretion when he was
asked to run back a block or two and
see If he could find the lap-dog a wom-
an had dropped out Of her victoria
But the etiquette book was responsible
for his Waterloo, nevertheless, and
the night he was sent back to patrol
duty he threw It In the fire before even
explaining the matter to his wife.
Twas all along iv thryin' to be po-
lite an tac'ful," he finally explained
Whats polite an complimentary ia
an akel is praysum' ton to a soopeer.
yer. Ye see, twas this wa-ay; a
gir-rl-oh, fine-lukin' girl Nv 10 OF
2O--got mixed up bechune two teams
an was like to be r-run down whin ]
saw her. Twas no time to think iv TIL
wa-ay to get her out. Amy wa-ay all
was good wa-ay, an I gr-rabbed her
r-round tn waist an carried her to
wan side. oh, SIR she says whin she
got her breath back, how can liver
tha-ank We? sMa'am,' says /, liftin'
me helmet an thinlxin' iv tn book on
manners, TIL pleasure says, IS all
mine Sir she says, givin' me a hity-
tity LUX an shpeakin' cold, Il will see
that We are ray-warded.' 'Ma'am,' saws
!, TIL mim'ry Nv tn hayward I'VE al
ready had will go with me to the
grave"
What hayward had We had, Bar
ney?" inquired Mrs. Flynn.
"She asked me tn sa-ame QUESTION"
said Policeman Flynn.
AN what did We sa-ay to herr"
Il says to her, fMa'am,' l says, bow
in low like tn pictures in tn etikit
book, It's worth more than tn r-risk
| r-run,' | says. sf'r to have had SIGH
beautiful bundle in me ARMS"
('seIMog 81 udssor 40 so6T 'lqSII6doo)
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