The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1906-09-15

Caesars wishbone; that Cleopatra was
over 40 before she saw snakes; that
Carrie Nation was over 40 before she
could Ratchet a barroom and put the
boots to the rum demon; that Mrs
Chadwick was over 40 before she
opened a bank account: that Jonah
was over 40 before he saw whale;
that President Roosevelt was over 40
before he saw a self-folding lion; that
Kuropatkfn was over 40 before he
learned to make five retreats grow
where only one retreat grew before;
before he was struck with the idea Of
making Valley Forge a winter resort;
and 50 forth, and SO forth, world with
out end.
but these suggestions only prove
the rule, Uncle Peter, and the rule is
this:
Some advertisement now and then
Is relished by the greatest men!'
Don't worry, Uncle Peter, because
you are getting to be a has-was.
You may do something in your old
age which Will make people think less
of you than they do now-you never
can tell.
with these few words / viii leave
you, Uncle Peter wishing you as much
age in the future as you have had in
the past. Yours with love,
WILLIAM osLER"
After getting this letter Uncle Peter
began to breathe easier and two days
later he was quite able to resist the
desire to crawl under the bed every
time a bottle of soothing syrup ar
rived from the drug store.
Uncle Peter got very gay the day
after Admiral Togo won the battle of
the Sea of Japan.
Fifteen minutes after the last Rus
sian batt1eship had been clapped on
the cross-trees Uncle Peter had let
ter written to Togo.
| am going to show you copy of
| it. if / get pinehed in the act:
New York, This Morning.
ITO Admiral William Duffy Togo, the
Japanese Crackerjaek.
Dear Togie:-Please forgive me for
writing you these few lines, but have
been through several wars myself and
| L have witnessed how easy it is for
a hero to take the wrong road and
walk unexpectedly into the cold stor-
age department of the public's esti-
nation. That is the reason I wish to
give you a few points on the etiquette
! of being hero, which I have studied
from observation in this country.
Brave Togie:-When you get home
| in Toxic or Yokohama, or Communi-
paw, or wherever it is, keep the face
closed, more especially in the region
of the mouth, because the moment a
hero begins to speak somebody will
/ misconstrue what he says and get him
talking politics when he only meant
to say: Drink hearty
Clever Togie:-Don't ever talk with
an ambitious reporter unless you have
a baseball mask over the face and a
mosquito netting over the vocabulary;
| because Ii you only say to him: How :
the health?' you will find In the morn
4 ing paper a column interview, In which
you have decided to run for mikado
on the Democratic ticket.
Good Togie:-When you arrive al
/ the depot in your home town you will
/ find lined up in front of the baggage
room about 81 young ladies, all with
their lips puckered up in the most
satisfactory manner-hut don't do 1t,
Togie.
Friend Togie: Resist the awful
temptation to 60 down the line and
plant burning kisses on the front teeth
Eof these beautiful maidens, because
after planting these kisses the harvest
will be the long grass Of oblivion, and
you will ind yourself rushing madly
through the comic papers trying to
Ibite all the fair ladies therein.
Fine Togie:-When you meet this
awful situation, as meet it you will
sneer gently at the puckered lips and
irepeat over and over the old proverb.
0seuiation is the thief of reputation.
Then with naughty glance at the
lady kissing bugs jump quickly into
your ginriekeyshaw and gallop swiftly