Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1906-04-20
. Cd
Short


While one of the ~canvasscrs in the
recent British election was calling at
a humble cottage he saw the voters
wife. and inquired of her as to the
politics of her husband. "Well." she
replied. when he goes to Il Liberal
meeting he is Il Liberal. and when he
goes to a Tory meeting he is a Tory
But asked the canvaSser, "What is
he when he is at home?' And the
good lady unblushingly replied. When
he is at home he is Il ~nuisanrr.'
A professor in Il Western university
one day, while walking with II friend
in San Francisco. became involved in
an argument as to which WAS the
handsomer man of the two. Not being
able to arrive at a settlement Of the
question they agreed, in 4 spirit of
fun, to leave it to the decision OF n
Chinaman who was seen approaching
them. The matter being laid before
him. the Oriental considered long and
carefully; then he in a
tone of tinality, Both are worse"
Gov. Hoch of Kansas tells n story
that always strikes the right spot with
the farmers. One time Il merchant
put up a blackboard in his store and
asked his customers to write their
names on it, and opposite tell h
they were doing for humanity. A law
yer wrote, Il plead for ALL A doc
tor wrote, Il prescribe for all A
preacher wrote. Il pray for all" An
II -.z Ill $50 ,-,ltn bic, w
scratched his head awhile, and then
wrote, Il pay for all"
Two ladies, one of whom carried a
baby, entered a w~ell-known furnisher's
one day and signified their desire to
look at some carpets. 1t was very
warm. but the salesman c~heerfully
showed roll after roll until the per
SEPARATION streamed from his face.
Finally one of the ladies asked the
other if she did not think 1t was time
to go. "Not quite" was the answer
of her companion and then in an I'M
dertone added Baby likes to see him
roll them out. and we've plenty Of
time to catch the train"
In the House of Commons no Incl
dent is greeted with more laughter
than that Of 4 member who, after an
eloquent Grafton. pumps down on his
silk hat on the bench beside him. A
Young member who had just made his
maiden speech sat upon his new silk
hat. There were roarS of laughter. An
Irish member Immediately arose and
gravely said: "Mr. Speaker. permit
me to congratulate the honorable gen.
tleman upon the happy circumstance
that when he sat on his hat his head
was not in it," This remark upset
the dignity of the House. and the
Speaker called "Order, order" amid
roars of laughter.
Talking about the various persons
who make the life of an editor obnoX-
ious to him. by telling him how to run
his paper, Col. Charles A. Edwards of
Texas said the other day: Il know
all about IT.. l was an editor myself
once down in Texas. One day a man
! came in and said to me: 4 have come
in here to complain about this article
you nave in your paper today. l don't
like it it's tone is ~undignified its die
ton poor; Its L puSheu IL out
ton on my desk. and when the office
boy leaped in l let out all the notches
in my voice. Bring me- | t~hundered.
IAN axe, q hammer, and q ~siX-Shooter"
Good Lord" said the kicker, pale
faced and astounded; what are you
coins to do?' 1 am going, sir | re-
piled. to kill every printer and re-
,,rtor in tho Dlocp and tO smash every
blank press and throw 1t in the liver.
What am running a paper for, eX-
cept to please everybody""