The Washington herald., 1906-12-13
KONGRES BARS NU SPELN.


Representatives yesterda. but a few dosez
of Old DR.. Grosvenor's parliamentary
emetiks finally puTged the ROZeveIt lang
widge from the Kongressional systim.
After wrestling with fonetiks all da the
noted lawmakers from all the STATE of the
Uniun placd a double-rivited provision in
the legislative bill. prohibiting any money
of Uncle Sam ever being spent for print
ing buks in the White Hous dieliCt
Crate indignashun wuz manifested at
the atemts to amutate the English tung
OF many OF its Tutz and Inns. and sum
Kongresmen spok rite out plane about the
wa they regarded Emperor Rozefelt's"
ways. When a vot wuz taken a CRATE
majority registered there disaproval of the
plan TO give Shaksper and Thakery and
others a lemun.
When the appropriashun for printing
wuz reached in the bill Kongresman Sui
livan, Of Rostun. aroz with teres stream
ing from his izc.
IF the President has the powr 20
change three hundred wurds." he sed.
''bi imperial decree. then he kan change
ten thousand wurds. and where vii thOz
have to go out and bi new-fangled buks
which We kant rede. President Roze-
felt has deliberately adopted without re
gard to the vii of Kongres a court lang
widge of the imperial government OF the
American Empire. and this vii kOntinu
thrUout the rain of Emperor Rozefelt"
am blest II 1 kan the sence Of this.
Publk Printer Stilings viii print the
lcngwidge as ROzefelt says becaws he is
anxshus to hold his job
Their Mite BE Tu Standards.
7 kannot c." sed Mr.. Sullivan, why
the President shouldn't b compelled to
submit to sum authority, il only that
kontaned In a standard dicshunary. Pret-
ty sune we wud hav tn standards uf
langwidge in this kuntry. one for the
court circuls of Washington. and one un-
offishul standard adopted by men Of let
ters."
Representativ Crumpacker Of Indiana
caused all the disturbance bi making a
point uf order against the provishun in
the bill forcing the Public Printer to obey
Kongres and not the President in setting
up tipe for government buks. Chairman
Tawney sed if Kongress did not akt every
bulk published would hav to b printed
twice at CRATE expenZe II wuz a sho
down whether Kongres or the President
wuz the lord uf the land. But Crum-
packer wuz obdurate and stuk to his
gum. Then Kongresman Lacy uf Ioway
roze and handed out sum hot shot.
we hav now arrived at the point" he
sed, when ether we vii print the Kon-
gresional Record and other government
buks in English or Rovefelt. I vel re-
member as Artemus Ward sed about
Chawslr: He wuz a CRATE poit, but he
couldn't spell
The simplifd spelling bord has sent
me a card asking me to sine it and pledg
myself TO The American Nashunal Lang
widge The English tung duz not belong
to L. s. alon, but to Crate Britain, and
Australyu, and Ioway and Bostun also
How can we adopt an American Ma
shunal Langwidge. This denatured spell
ing makes me mad as b.
He Kant Spell Cat with K.
"Hazn't the President the rite to spell
his nlessagez the Wa he wantz tu?" de-
manded Representative Underwood. Of
Alabama.
Not II he spells cat with X replied
Judge Lacey hetedly. He mite spell the
va he wantz tu. but there il only one
langwidge TO print what he rites, and
that is English-as she is rote-an spelt."
But you trying to du sumthing which
vii retard the natural evolushun uf or
thorgraphy," interjekted Mr. Crum-
packer.
-Ratz," sed Gen. Grosvenor, of Ohio;
"supoz the President trid to print things
in Ch0ctaw?"
I want 10 kali attention to the fakt."
sed Representative Towne, that the
claws we are hteing about is paragraph
.. line ., on page % uf the bill. and is in
volashun Of rule 3 of the manual, and
Il ort to skid0o"
i am in that % klas miself," replied
Grosvenor, who was lickt for re-electshun
last time, amid latter, and in luking