Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-23

nowadays. She--SOne OF them always
were Detroit Free Press.
He-Don't you think that some of
her sayings are smart? She-They
aren't, but they do.--Brooklyn Life.
The Small Chap-Say. Papa, what
Is the race problem? Papa-Picking
wlnners.-kansas City Independent.
Jones went to Maine to get back
to nature" Did he:" Yes. got shot
by mistake for a deer. and is now
buried. Town Topics.
II don't believe I'm the only girl
you ever loved. Fred:" why. dear
est?' Because you kiss as if you were
were used to it."-Chips.
"ls 1t necessary to enclose stamps"
asked the poet. More necessary, even
than to enclose poetry" responded the
Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
Jasper-Who is that fine looking
man over there? Jumpuppe-That?
oh. that is one OF our most highly sus.
pected citizcns.--Town Topics.
Cholly-Bah JOve. " know, Miss
Savvam said ! looked like an extreme
ly clevah man." Dolly--Did she say
who the clever man Cleveland
Leader.
Weary tell you how to make
money. Buy thermometers now and
sell EN- next July. Beery-What for?
Weary-They're bound to go up--New
York Mail.
The Rejected-Do you refuse me on
account of my poverty or on account
Of myself? The Rejectress--N Neither
it's wholly on my own account.-Clve-
land Leader
Mrs. Tawker-Why, my husband
would descend to any depth. however
low, for money! "A criminal. eh?"
NO. he's a professional diver. Pitts.
burg Gazette.
"How Is your new girl. Mrs. Up
more? l heard she was sick" She's
improving. She was able to sit up
this morning and give notice. Chi
cago Tribune.
II understand the author of that
popular song got only $500 for writ
ing it," ooh. well. perhaps 1t was Il
first offense. Did he pay the fine:"-
Philadelphia Ledger.
"Old Goldrox has gone bankrupt"
You don't say! What was the
trouble" Spent all his money trying
to learn how how TO live the simple
Sentinel.
"Wha'd he get fired for:" pig
headed. Couldn't get him to set Rus
sian names anyway except by leaning
his elbow on the keyboard OF the ma
chine" News.
Teacher-Henry. what is your ex.
cuse for being absent from school yes
terday? Schoolboy Gin Washington
Teacher. was paired with Jimmy
Kirkbride. Tribune.
Mrs. Nexdore-I bought new piece
Of music for my daughter to play. and
l guess she'll master it soon. She was
trying all afternoon. Miss Pepprey--
Indeed, she was; very philadelphia
Press.
Kind Lady-If give you something
to ent will you wash your face and
hands? Poor HObo---YOuse misunder-
stood me, lady; I said WIZ buggy
/ didn't say l WIZ starvin' and DIES.
perate.-Ex.
Dorcas-The operation was success
ful, but the patient couldn't survive
the shock. Mrs. Demonstrations
How careless to let poor man in his
condition find out what the operation
cost.-Puck.
"You talked all through my solo,"
said the musician. a little resentfully.
"Oh, that's nll right" said the self
sufficient sage. II wasn't saying any
thing you would care about hearing"
Washington Star.
The LADY, have only ; cents to
give away this morning. To which Of
YOU two shall l give It? The Hobo
Give it to Panhandle Pete. mum: he's
bought dis route q me, an I'm just
takin' him over de ground.-Ex.
Mrs. Klubbs (severely)-I've been
lying awake these three hours waiting
for you to come home. Mr. Klubbs
(ruefully Gee! And I've been stay
ing away three hours. waiting for you
to go to sleep.-Cleveland Leader.
"Now," shouted the Socialistic street
orator. "let MS ask Of ourselves. calmly,
What Is the question Of the hour with
the workingman" Casually re-
piled the observant citizen. ''it's. Say !.
IL 1t y o'clock yet:' "-PhiladelpEia
Press
81 suppose your feelings sometimes
lead you to say more than you intend"
said the man who admires oratOry.
Never" answered Senator Sorghum.
but 1t sometimes happens that my in,
tentions lead me to say more than l
feel."-Washington Star.
Funny thing" began Stingiman. try
ing to get some medical advice free !;
II know man who gets neuralgia so
bad at times he simply yells with pain.
What would you do in "A ease like
that?" "Why." replied DR.. Wise. I'm
afraid I'd yell with pain. too. "-rhila,
delphia Press.
1--WE called" said the lady. ito