davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-10-30
interviewed His Interviewer.


"One particularly amusing case was
when two of the secretaries from the
Chinese legation paid me call. Just
previously had sent to get the views
of the Chinese minister on an import
ant matter. Mr.. WI did not wish. to
commit himself upon this subject, but
to him, and so he proceeded to inter-
view me. l wrote to the editor of the
paper who had given me the order, fur
nishing him with the information had
obtained, and saying that Mr.. Wu's
interview with me was much more
successful than mine with him. In re-
spouse had request for my version
of Mr.. Wu's interview, which prompt
ly gave. The article was published,
and widely commented on, and so one
day when l saw two Cinnamon in my
Office did not know but that l had
committed some breach of Chinese de-
corum and they had come to take me
to task therefor.
Their errand was quite innocent,
however. They simply wanted to find
out the modus operandi of the mimeo-
graph. explained it the best could,
and they looked as wise as the pro-
verbal owl, and asked hundred Ques-
lions, but am morally certain have
not yet made those Chinese officials
understand one thing about it.
Another funny incident was that of
a German who was debating bust
ness letter to typewriter. We got.
along fairly we'll for several pages,
and then came this astonishing SEN
tence: I hat see Mr.. Brown an I
tink he will John in the sheep l
looked up in surprise, and he repeated,
John in the sheep At last he
screamed the sentence at me, but I
was still in the dark. Finally, in de-
spair, he said, embark in the sheep-in
the enterprise and then had it. He
simply said in his figurative way that
Mr.. Brown had baon seen and that
he would join the ship
Man Who Is Never Pleased.
Il have worked for all kinds of peo-
pie, without regard to sex, age or pre-
vlous condition of servitude, and have
had an opportunity to study every pos
sible type.
There is the man who is never
pleased. The right hand margin is not
straight, and after you have made six
copies and bound 1t he will insist
upon your taking it apart and cor
recting it, because in writing rapidly
two letters had not been spaced prop
erly. 1t is the only mistake, bat he
departs, after grudgingly paying his
bill, with the air of a martyr.
There is the man who has five pages
to be written, and thinks it an immense
amount and that he ought to have q
discount.
"And the man who is afraid he will
be cheated, and the one who is sure he
won't be, beSause he does not intend
to pay at all.
There rs the man who takes me into
his confidence and tells me all his do
nestle troubles. And the one who is
so secretive that he can't give me data
enough to do the work intelligently.
He deals in authorizations, and will
never believe what Is fact-that his
business has not the slightest possible
interest to me, and that If he told
me his whole story would forget It
before the day is out.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-10-30

Eat, drink and be merry today; to-
morrow you may be married.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07
SMITH IMPROVING.

Il tell you, Brother Joseph F. is rip
enemies of our people,'
That was one Mormon verdict on the
chief hlerarchs exhibition in the Tab
ernacle yesterday, But The Tribune
does not recognize that President
Smith was in much of a "rip-snorting"
mood. A large share OF the time he
found 1t extremely difficult to arouse
himself to that condition OF passionate
earnestness IN which. as one of his
witty Mormon friends remarked, "he
mistakes perspiration for inspiration"
But he demonstrated where the sore
spot was for he addressed himself par
ticularly in the forenoon services TO the
subject of tithes He made the valua-
BILE announcement that any tithe payer
could examine the books and find his
contributions properly recorded and
disbursed, and could also make sug-
gcstion as to church expenditures. So
much the Mormon people may thank
The Tribune for. This Is great vic
tory. For some time past we have been
advising Joseph F., In a gentle style,
that he will come to our way OF think
ing II the Lord will only preserve his
life long enough; and for this latter
happy event Gentiles are quite as eager
as Joseph F. himself is prayerful,
That which created upon the Mormon
mind an impression OF ''rip-snorting"
(pardon the word but it was used in a
most gleeful way by one OF his Mormon
admrers) was his pronouncement that
the wicked non-tithe payer could get
no information concerning the financial
statistics OF the church Well. Joseph
F. Smith. like the late insurance presi-
dents, has something to learn. Like
him. they said that IL was nobody's
business so long as the policy holders
were satisfied. But lively public In
terest shown in the way Of legislative
investigation and subsequent statutes
demonstrated that the insurance presl-
dens were wrong: and in the time to
come Joseph r. Smith will learn the
same lesson.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07
THE WHEAT GRAFTERS.

| A letter from tho fret presidency Of tho
church. read at both the morning and the
6s ss dses1ad TPPo of
bishops or other officers Of tho church Sc
cure loans Of grain stored by women Of
the Relief society, they must either re-
cash.
Tho letter Intimatcd that this had not
the bishops had taken the grain without
tho consent OF the women and failed TO
account for II, Tho letter stated that
such thing was done without the ap-
provel Of the first presidency, and that
In all cases accounting must be made
That is taken from the report Of the
Mormon Relief society conference, as
strong church sympathies.
So IL appears that the bishops have
been doing n little high church finan-
clering for themselves on the side. by
absorbing unto themselves the wheat
which the good sisters of the faith have
gathered for the assured forthcoming
time OF famine!
And from this time forward a COM
plete accounting must be made. Not
by the chief hierarch for two millions
that would be Il sin against the rights
OF the prophet but by the bishops,
whose failure to account for wheat
graft Is also q sin against the rights
OF the prophet.
Fortunately for the peace of the COM
munty, this chage against Mormon
bishops of robbing the Relief societies
Of the church does not originate In any
Gentle source II IT had how the Des-
erct News would have ragged about
wicked and unregenerate gencrationl
II a minister of any other church had
made the accusation, the News would
have attacked all Christian sects as be-
Ing prosecutors OF the Saints OF God
What will the bishops do in this
emergency? We trust that none of them
viii be so lost to all decency as to tmi-
tate the example of their prophet. seer
and revelator. But If any among them
shall choose to follow in his footsteps,
doubtless they will confess their crime,
ask forgiveness, promise upon their
honor to offend no more In the future
and then go back and steal more wheat.
1t would be n pernicious way of using
an argument, but some of them may
think they see logic In the proposition
and may assert that IL 1t be moral to
deceive the country 1t must be all the
more proper to deceive God.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07
MOROCCO DOESN'T COUNT

There is some discussion in the East
crn press on the point whether Morocco
Will agree to the settlement of Moroc-
CO S affairs. as made by the nations at
the Algeciras conference The Phila-
delphia Inquirer recalls that at one OF
the early sessions of the conference
the senior Moroccan delegate gave no.
tice that his master had called the
conference together for consultative
purposes only: that he wished 10 be ad-
vised by the powers as 10 the best
course for him to pursue amid the diff =
ficulties and perplexities by which he
was confronted. that he would be
greatly obliged for whatever counsel
they might give him in response TO his
invitation, but that he must not be
considered bound to acquiesce in what
ever arrangements the conference
might see At to adopt. And the Inqui-
rer thinks IT strange that so little at
tention was paid to this declaration.
But the reason why so little attention
was paid TO II is that it has no force
behind II. None of the powers cares
whether the Sultan of Morocco consid-
ers himself bound by the conclusions Of
the conference or not. He will agree
or do worse. Morocco is In no position
to resist what the powers decree II
she undertakes It, the resistance must
co down: and II 1t is the Sultan who
resists, MS throne may go down with
him. and Morocco be divided among
the European nations.
1t is too late for the Sultan to assert
himself He made a fatal mistake
when he fell in with the suggestion of
the Emperor of Germany that Moroc-
cos affairs must be considered by the
European powers as a whole. That
tonfessed his impotence and was vir
tual nbdication of sovereignty. AS long
as 1t WAS merely an arrangement be-
tween France, Great Britain. Spain
and Italy, 10 help preserve order and
put down insurrections In Morocco, the
Sultan was committed to nothing, and
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07
HONEST CONDUCTORS,

Ii ia the proper thing for railway
after their own methods. due regard
being had to public right and public
convenience; and. therefore, The Tribune
does not assume to crticiee the estab-
lishment of force OF train auditors to
lift tickets and fares on the lines oper-
ated in this country But VI the reason
for such establishment be a fear Of the
honesty Of conductors. 1t looks like a
work OF supererogation. The dispatches
OF yesterday morning bear the story, of
a forgetfrl capitalist who left a bag
containing $4,000 OF currency In rail-
way car on the line of the Lake Shore
& Michigan Southern near Ashtabula,
Ohio, and of tho honest conductor,
named Miles. who fouEd the cash and
had II promptly forwarded to IFS owner
Conductor Miles may be the only man
who has had the opportunity to make
away with this particular amount. but
the railway service and the public gem
orally. and more particularly the rail-
way companies. may be congratulated
that there are hundreds and thousands
OF conductors who would have shown the
same integrity ss he. with the same op-
portunity. Throughout all this Inter
mountain region the men who serve In
this capacity for railway companies
are Justly esteemed as hrst-class en-
ployee5 and .frst-class citizens.
Not loQE since an old-time traveller
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07
Observer s Observations

! observe that tools are not limited TO
the first day of April.
That the majority of April fools arc
always fools.
That goodness is n breaking out" ;"
but the breaking out Is confined to very
small spots, is not considered con-
tagious, and Is never epidemic.
That a mans thoughts are never bet
ter than the source Of their supply.
That one day more or less is nothing
TO the man who has his liberty.
That he who lives within his means
will have more JOY II fewer scenes.
That young ladies who kiss the hie-
rarch are In danger OF catching polyg-
amy
That "out OF sight out of mind" is too
true to be pleasant contemplation.
That your neiShbor Is just as good
or just as mean as you make him.
That q rose Is not always so sweet
when called by some other name.
That the majority OF people would
rather be wrong than with the unpop-
ular side.
That scales on the eyes do more dam
age than scales on the body.
That from the way he squirms. the
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07
A RAILADE OF PIANOS

Eugene Geary in the New York Herald
What becomes OF the needles and pins
Out of commission or worse for wear,
Fashioned. they say, 10 punish our
sins?
Nobody knows or seems to care
Another puzzle that hits us where\
We nunt in vain for some light TO
throw
on it's mysteries. for they're deep, l
swear.
Where do ali the pianos go?
Sad is our lot when disoord grins
From some upright or rusty square.
And the amateurs clumsy fins"
Waken the demon from his lair
Shadows OF maestros hover there.
Toiceless In their empowering woe
They could tell. as they vanish In air.
Where do all the pianos go?
Sewing machines and cotton gins.
After having performed their share
OF work are moved to the scrap iron
bins
Soon 20 melt In the furnace aare
But the pisnos-say, ladies fair,
RcyelIng in the shimmering glow
or the virtuoso's ambrosial hair
Where do all the pianos go?
LEnvoi.
Rosewood mahogany. walnut rare.
Still pour forth In the factorys glare,
Reckless OF Lcthes undertow-
Where do all tho pianos go2
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

whose early practice had been to bunco
the railroads when he could trust him
self to the conductor, WAS on a Rio
Grande train running into Salt Lake.
end offered to him half fare for the
journey which he was making, ut the
same time tipping a wink, The con-
ductor demanded the full fare. with the
remark. You propose that l shall steal
from the company for both OF us, do
you? AS / won't roo nv employer for
myself, don't think | Will do II I'm order
to divide 10 with you"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07
ABOUT MARRIAGES,

In local print. a newspaper which
is politically friendly to the Mormon
hierarchy. appears a report of a SER
mon delivered during this series of
Mormon conferences. According to the
report, the particular preacher, who is
not unrelated by marriage to the chief
hierarch,
related how she had met a Mormon moth
er who had told her with regret that her
daughter had married Gentle
This mother told me-" she said, "that
the young man had been, keeping COM
pany with her daughter for over year,
but that she had never dreamed that he
Intended to marry the girl. She said that
he was a good and honest and decent
young man, but that he did not believe
In the faith OF the Latter-day Saints
IF | had been that mother I would
have said 10 that daughter do not keop
company with Gentle young men. They
may be pure, they may be honest they
may be decent but they are not of the
faith OF the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter day Saints
Just to show the kind OF ideal which
is entertained of marriage let us quote
from the sworn testimony of the par
ticular preachers husband, given be-
fore the Senate Committee on Priv
ilegcs and Elections at Washington:
The Chairman. Why is IL necessary. in
order TO support your children, educate
and clothe them, that you should con-
OF wlyes2
Joseph +. Smith. Because my wives arc
like everybody else's wife
The Chairman. l am not speaking of
Joseph F Smith I understand
The chairman. am speaking Of the
Joseph F. Smith Yes
The Chairman. Why is II necessary to
continue to have Issue by nVe wives In
order to support and educate thechIldren
sary?
Joseph T; Smith. It is only to the
pi. peace and harmony and good viii of my
The Chairman. Then you could edu-
cate your children and clothe them and
feed etS them without I,t,5 having MI new issue
could, but that Is Just exactly the kernel
in the nut.
Joseph F. Smith. l have chosen not
to do that. Mr.: Chairman
The Chairman And In not doing II.
Joseph F. Smith. The law of my State?
The Chairman Yes.
Joseph F. Smith. Yes. sir.
Senator Overman. Is there not a reve-
la ton published in the Book OF Cove
nants here that you shall abide by the
law Of the State.
Joseph F Smith. 1t itcludes both un
lawful cohabitation and polysamy.
Senator Overman. Is there not n reva-
lation that you shall abide by the laws
OF the Stnte and OF the land?
Joseph r Smith. Yes sir.
Senator OVsrman II that is a revela-
ton. are you not violating the laws OF
Cod?
Joseph F.. Smith I have admitted that,
Mr Senator, a great many times here.
Is Mormon sin superior TO Gentle
virtue? That must be the argument
for anyone who can reconcile the above
uttcrances OF a hierarch and re-
La5sd preacher.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07
DOWIE AND SMITH.

So Dowie taught polygamy, did he.
and proposed to establish a principal
ity in Mexico where he could practice
1t with immunity Wei, well, how
prophets do repeat themselvesl Why.
that is our own hierarch'S own partic-
ular scheme! Did Joseph T. Smith bor-
row II from Dowie. OF did Dowie bor-
row 1t from Joseph IF, or was II the
result of naturally similar cercbration
or the mutual polygamous minds, with
no plagiarism on the part Of either?
Except for his superior ability (and
that has gone for naught now that his
people have walked I'D to his crimes),
Dowie is very much like Joseph l.
Smith. He pretended to be an inspired
leader. and he collected into hts own
keeping the tithes and consecratons Of
his followers, to engage In a mad
pursuit. of commercialism under the al
legged "All-Seeing Eye" But he differs
from Joseph f. Smith in one respect
he has never admitted that he Is a
fraud as to revelation, Dowle always
insists that he receives messages from
on hiSh-direct messages which human
ity must obey at humanity's peril. Jo-
seph f, Smith only insists upon this
part of the time. When II happens to
be convenient. Smith says that he does
not receive any revelationsNand after
ward boasts that this admission was n
falsehood. and so apparently makes
moro secure his leadership of his fol-
lowing by so confusing their minds
that they Go not know which way TO
decide the question, and therefore do
supine servitude
Dowie has had a crash. The Deseret
News would Insist that this was be-
cause Dowie was a fraud. Joseph F.
Smith has not yet had his crash. and
the Deseret News would say that this
Is because he is a real prophet of God
But there is premonitory shakIness in
Joseph f, Smiths affairs which as
sures an early wreck for his worldly
schemes perpetrated with a barbarity
and 4 reckleSsness quite equal to any
think that Dowie has shown
~ DS Sults Tue faithful 1OllO"RlS OF
Joseph F. Smith cannot be expected TO
accept the comparison between Dowie
and the present Mormon prophet, but 1t
exists and without any advantage on
the side OF Joseph F. Smith. He is
simply the head of a scheme. He is not
in communication with God, except as
any other human creature may be In
communication with the source OF all
knowledge. He does not lead a better
life than Dowie. His pretended aspira-
tlons TO benefit and eXalt humanity are
no higher than those which John Alex
ander Dowie expressed ana in some de-
gree demonstrated.
The parallel between the two Is an
astonishingly close one, and is to be
still more vivid when Joseph F. Smith
shall come 10 the calamity which now
has met and overthrown the abler man,
the fraudulent Elijah III.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07
Where The Tribune Is On Sale.

Murny IItah-Excelslor Stationery Co. IND
phone It'll c.,,.r
6trcot. ,nd
Thirty eighth Street; Astor House "n'uo'i
Astoria: Imperial Hotel -
Chicago-Pnln,er House Auditorium AhneN'
Washington-Ncw Willard. Raleigh.
tniaha-Union Station Newsstand.
FUrtlond-orcson News Agency.
los Angelcs-Amos's Newsstand VI
Kan Francisco-ArdinE's News Agency, ~
wheatey. Hotel St Francis, Foster & o'I", ~
sra,rIe-W Ellis Hotel Northern. J, X JUS
tice Wilson. McVey < Co, ,,,
Denve:-Julius Rinck. Brown Hotel honoricN
Book md Stationery Co ,,,.,
Bolse-Idanha Hotel Boise Book and huso
Store. Arch, Cunningham Co, IL. Se'ief
& Co.
Pocatsiio-Cheree & Co., H ". WhittlHsey.
Tonopah-ONeil & Co. A. n. Rouns"etL
Gold1old-Hunter Adv Pub, Co.. " ~
Marsh
Butte-Kcefe Bros. j. G. Evana
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

was in condition to appeal at need
to the powers as a whole. standing on
his rights as an Independent ruler. But
the moment he Cut his affairs in the
hands of the conference OF the powers,
he WAS no longer an independent sover-
eign, The powers will do rs they like,
and 1t doesn't matter whether he
agrees or not
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

As the head OF the church has COM
plalned Of the absence OF some OF the
apostles, the Senate Will undoubtedly be
obliging enough TO send Apostle Smoot
back
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07
MAN AND oYERMAN.

Senator Overman OF North Carolina
was making his speech on railroad reg
ulation. There were few Democrats
listening and hut ore solitary Senator
on the Republican side. although the
argument was a very able one
Senator Spooner stuck his head
through the cloakroom door He saw
the solitary Republican Senator and
said: ''Ah, Man and Oyermani"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

Among leading members who earnest
~ believe that Apostles Taylor. Cowley
and Teasdale should be removed for the
good OF the church. are those who would
like to succeed them.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

If four apostles are to be chosen, can
the revelation be considered genuine
that does not at least designate one
named Smith?
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

Arbor day has been designated as the
time for general cleaning Of premises,
and II is thought that many Will be
willing TO wait that long
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

II conference visitors attend the after
noon conference sessions. IT Will not be
the fault of the theater managers who
arc giving extra natinecs.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

Visitors from Utah towns wishing to
improve their municipal governments.
are invited TO note what Salt Lake has
recently done,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

But the apostles condemned for being
absent can prove TO President Smith
that their absence was due to living
their religion
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

POSSIBLY Apostles Taylor and Cowley
VIII now decide that they made a mis-
take In not going TO Washington and
frankly denying that they had taken
beW WiYes
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

Besides. if the absence OF Apostles
Cowley and Taylor from their posts
was wrong. docs not President Smith.
see that Apostle Smoot was responsible
for II?
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

Anyway. the self-exiled, apostles, now
that no more witnesses are 20 be exam
ined at Washington, can show that they
are rot az oil afraid to come back.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

From his remarks yesterday, 1t may
be Inferred that President Smith may
get up conference storm, regardless of
what the weather bureau does
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

Tlthe-payers who want to see further
where church money has gone, can do
so by looking up some pictures Of su-
gar factories.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

Having married so many wives,
Brother Taylor had no Idea that the
day would ever come when he would
not be fayorite In high church cir
ClcS.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

But even If revelations directing apos-
tollc appointments are received, may
they not at the last moment have to be
edited2
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

Perhaps Apostle Smoot can see that
nothing would help him in the Senate
SO much as a fep we'll chosen words OF
condemnation from President Smith
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

But II there should be four apostolic
vacancies TO fill. Brother Rich might
wonder IL the church could get three
other equally an good men.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-07

Numerous conference visitors, how
ever, may be unable to attend confer
ence before Sunday, being too busy
having a good time.