Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-17
PROFESSOR REDNECK
SAYS HE is THE MOST
WONDERFULPS
OFFERS WEALTH FOR THRILLING SUM
Man Who Lives Off Pennies of GulibIe Girls and
Credulous Cranks Proves What Poor Guesser
He Really Is-Suckers Crowd the Ante
Rooms Awaiting Their Turn

handed to each newcomer as he ap.
peared in the room. He said:
My friend, am the greatest mystic
in the world. / know that seems to be
a broad statement Qt certainly did)
but / am the seventh son of a seventh
son and my ancestors for years and
years back have been mystics l can
make you successful in life. and / car
aid you to become anything you
want to-"
He then handed me small sheet of
paper and said Write upon that
paper three questions and sign your
name at the bottom. Anything you
want to know. just ask me by writing
upon the paper and then fold 1t thus
wise"
was just dying to know my fate,
but my duty forbade me to ask any
thing really pertinent.
I wrote: 81 wish to become an actor;
should I he a success?" g. What
line of work should 1 take up to gain
success?" g. "Will my friend from
Chicago come to Los Angeles this sum-
mer?" Then I signed my real name
just to show the blooming mystic that 1
was game.
Before | started to write Prof. Red
neck excused himself from the room.
saying that he would be back within a
few moments.
Girls Most GuIlible
After five minutes had passed l be-
came consumed with curiosity to know
what all the fair damsels who had been
there all afternoon had written. The
waste basket, wherein number of the
slips were thrown. was temptingly near
and ] filched several of the epitomes
of hopes and fears. One of them read /:
will 1 ever go back to Milwaukee
again? Will ever marry? If so, how
soon miss Annie R" Her name
was given in full. Another read: Tell
me, shall / ever become beautiful ?
VIII l ever be wealthy? Why does no
one love me?-Miss Gertie A." "
Both of the foregoing, it is needless to
say. were written by women, both of
whom curiously enough signed them
selves Miss" thus giving an insight
into their characters that it would not
require psychic to interpret.
Yet another of the pining damsels
wrote: rs Ezra true to me?" qIow
could he help it with that name0 Her
next question was: Twill the stock in
the Little Brown Jug gold mine ever
be worth anything?" A blind man
would have a cinch answering that
question also. The last sob Of the dis
soul was: "Shall my love ana
1 ever be one?" On that question the
maiden should write her own card.
Redneck a Poor Guesser
Then Prof. Redneck returned and I
was forced to abandon my line of origi-
nal research.
My friend" said he, you are not
successful man.
II admit it," said I.
You are not happy in your present
work and you ambition has always
been crushed" Under my breath 1
breathed, you are liar"
Environment has not been kind to
you" said he, and 1 reiterated my origi-
nal remark.
What you need is a course in psychic
sclence, which | will give you at five,
ten and fifteen dollars"
1 wanted to ask him If he had any
for about twenty-three cents but my
nerve was paralyzed. Then he told me
to place the paper upon which I had
written my young hopes and fears upon
my forehead, while he held my hand
over Bible. What his excuse for
bringing the Bible into the controversy
was | cannot imagine, but he did it,
possibly to impress me with the sane
tity of the rite I was performing.
/ would have been a deal more inn
pressed If he had not made the early
bid for fifteen dollars.
Says It's Easy Money
But I gave him a chance to spring
his graft before 1 gave him the Mauo
litter
He said: you should be an actor.
In few months, under my tutelage
tutelage is good word), you will
become one of the best actors in the
state. can put you in a position where
you can make 5000 a week, and that is
but little for an actor to make. Hun
dreds Of them make $1,000 a week" /
thought of the man actors of my ac-
qualntance who are grubbing along
on S4oto $50 week and laughed in my
sleeve la Kolb.
Prof Redneck continued his mono
logue: Il have class of eleven, in
which there are two vacancies. I will
hold one open for you, as | can ONLY
take class of eleven, and after that
is full l must wait sixty-one days be-
1ore l take any more members of the
class. Your future success depends
directly upon whether you become a
member of this class and study the
psychic forces under me, or not, and
l warn you that you cannot expect
success TO come to you"
"Horrors!" thought ]. "Am to be
eternally doomed to disappointment il
do not give this money grubber 1852"
Then he moved uneasily, as IL the in
terview was at an end.
You must pay me a deposit" he said
so that l may keep the class open for
you. ! require a deposit, or / cannot
keep the class open. Can you pay $3?'
5ess Like Street Walker
This seemed to me like a decidedly
personal remark, but / ignored it.
He declined to let me pass II over
however, and finally said: We'll, will
you pay SO or not?"
Nothing like that at all professor -
said ]. There is nothing stirring in the
line Of SO for the class"
Then give me a dollar" BY this
time Prof. Redneck was somewhat
angry, as evidenced by his tone and
look.
Il am so sorry, my dear professor p
but l can't see it,
We'll" and his voice was more than
indignant, give me fifty cents and
come again some other time.
"Oh, yes said 1, in a manner some
what frivolous, and 1 handed him the
four-bit piece with contumely
With little regret on either side we
parted. AS / passed out the door ]
saw the ante-room was again filled with
low-broWed come-ons, all OF whom con-
trthutad from, 10 gIE 10 H. .-I..... =.