The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-19
With the Long Bo,D
Scientific Observation Of Mechanical Dude Riding
Teakettle Seventh Street and the Philosophical
Principle Underlying It Discovered and Announced.
-'.Eye NATURES walks, shoot folly as II flies.

TURNING on Seventh street after walking down
Hennepin quite at peace with mankind the other
morning, the suddenly sauted by a
fast as you can say it if you do stammer, and
were cheered and strengthened by the sight OF me-
chancal dude riding teakettle, Of those motor
cycles that kill few people compared with the auto
mobile casualty list.
proiecte, cutting Hennepin and disappearing
up Western way like dream. That he " got :
nobody at Hennepin or that nobody got him was ono
of the same class of miracles by which runaway
horse manages to go down crowded street at full
galop and miss everything.
Everybody the street stopped to look after him,
and disguised plumber, with load Of Iron TOOLS,
remarked to . rs
ssThat fellow,l git somebody some day.
ssIt's only question Of time,' added passing
Az pondered the occurrence saw why it was that
80 few people killed on crowded streets The rea
son can be put in one line, namely:
Everybody is minding his own business hard, .
You see at once fromsthis simple formula that 1t Is
day more part to avoid getting killed. It isn't the
other fellows business much to avoid killing you.
He has himself to look out for and he figures that you
are looking out for yourself.
II is everybody practicng with his might this
simple law Of the road that makes the business
poor and that this esteemed official gloomi to
watch the quick work Of streets and to complain
pf the hard times In coronering. t<
We have drawn this simple logical induction, rea-
song from OIL 10 aV Of man
riding teakettle Seventh street. Let this be
essoS to us all that we should instead Of getting vu
iparly killed learn to use reasoning powers and
draw useful lessons from the common danger. ~
MA 80. ., "..-
We ere thinking Of making farewell tour Of St.
Paul. Madam ''Bonhot" has just carried away
$4,000 or so from her farewell aunt and Ellen Terry
cheered by the news preparing to make her farewell
tour We take about much interest in these fare
well toors' as we do in stories from Lincoln, Neb,
about cow going up ladder hand over hand to get
her hay. ..."
The Imperial Potentate Of the Improved Order Of
Bungstarters Of the World announces the suspension
of Bylaw XXI, governing the supply OF beer at
picnics
An alleged humorous picture Is going the rounds Of
some Of the lesser PRESS say alleged humorous"
because it did not appear In this paper, describing
how gentleman named Oliver had an ostrich which
he kept in his hencoop One night gentleman OF
African descent after chickens in the logical and
natural manner reached in thru the hen house window
and securing ga holt" the ostrich's limb, at
tempted to drag the African canary thru the window
and place it in pilowcase for Sunday consumption
Anyone who knows the power residing in the ostrich
when he is aroused may guess that the colored man
might just as readily have attempted to- elope with
an army mule by Selling its hind limb and dragging
the gentle animal thru its stable window. The ostrich
made that eloquent gesture and the hencoop fell down
in the way the comic artists dearly love to depict
The picture is interesting in that it may be allie
oorcal The "interests'' that have watered thei1
around in the publics hencoop to get hold Of the fow
that will enable them to pay the to 10 per CEN
ouarterlv dividends have obtained good grip OF
what corresponds to the ostrichs business limb Thu
bird is awakening to the fact Of the crime Wha
.next9 - .'' $780,. ......~ A.''. H.