Rural Retreat times. [volume] (Rural Retreat, Va.) 1892-1918, 1906-11-30

rose bugs one gallon Of potato beetleF,
and cne pushed OF cabbage hpas. Boil
for three days over Glow fire. carefully
swimming Of the legs OF all rosebugs
DRINK quart every fifteen minutes for
DAYS. II at the end II that time you still
hnye any love left send it to me G, o. ..
and will take It and pay all chages on
same. This dose may turn Your stomach
and cause you to vomit like bu2zard in
dog days, but it will relieve your heart
troubles and that SIS What you want. A
desperate disease requires heroic
treatment.
Another fine thing is to take ten-foot
plank, drive it full OF tenpenny nails and
sci it up against the barn at an angle of
As degrees to the plane of its orbit. Then
dress Yourself in some light, breezy
clothing and slide down said plank This
has been known to cure tue most obsti-
nate cases of unrequited love when
everything else has failed. l have never
tried this trick, but those who have say
it harrows up ones feelings in truly
beautiful and accomplish ed manner ard
places his thoughts about five miles
above the low and groyeling things of
grit to slide calmly as an evening zepher
down plank full of mills. 1t takes
grit also to take castor oil in large, copl-
Gus doses, tut sometimes that is The only
remedy that will bring your frail barque
safely into the harbor, and 1t is alna. 8
better to get there" even If you are d
little distigured, than not to get there
at all. DO you grasp the IDEA?
j. There are many other good antidotes
for love, among which l make bold to
mention the following: Sitting on a
barbed wire fence riding on a sharp
fence rail; shoveling dirt in. solemn
railroad cut; "breaking" flax BY the day;
digging potatoes wien the mercury is
50 in the shade: fighting woody humble
bees; runulpg female swine and ten
pigs out of 40 acre coIp haid; bunting
needle in u hayetack; catching "epen
stretchers" by moonlight; and running q
| newspaper. The last will make You
ssneekyand lowly and relieve your mind
a9aickershan anything known to matesia
Meaicas IL Wall also relieve yoa Of ali
sar sas
4 fu,ssSSS..55,5SS ~ ~, eorna ofher GIRL Yuu
I; know taep that there are3ast as
good troptsn Elss ocean as those that
have been Out. Maybe son shsok
that matcbes5se made in heaven. Nov
your uncle Miiss doesn't take any stock
in that saying. tsome matches are made
by the old folks Others are made ~
Il cranky boys end girls themselves ane
still Others are made by the desyiss
Ireally can't say whether man who
should commit suicide. under such dis
treseing circumstances. would be lost o.
] not. never trit d it, but one thing eeE
5tain, he ought to be lost, aud be ought K
Ebe lost SO no one could ever and him
/ 6tttiST. OOD BOOb A. Ceseh~$s - -
dangerous and liable to go OF and k'l'
YOU dead. have known men 10 com
NIT suicide aud die in a few minntes
Very few ever recover sufficient 20 eai
any thing worth taking about. Tins Is
the wrong time iii the year to die any,
way. Postum and sweet tasers. You
cun't afford to miss all these good things
for all ,he picnics and girls in shlftwaists
this summer and otthe buckweat cakes
~ hog gravy this winter Think Of these
things, oh man, and bracefeup. Button
your gallusses notch higher aud chew
your tobacco a shade taster Never
forget that.
"ris better 10 have loved and lost
Than 10 never TO have loved OF all"
'fis better an "old batch" to be
h Than to hear twin babies sqall.
/ BANNER MAN.