New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-09-28

a resident OF the penitendary "What brought you
here, my friendH'
Unsuccessful authorship, maam." answered the
man In Cell IA
How could there be anything criminal in that?
Please explain"
~ was busily engaged on little work on the
national currency, when the Secret Service
swooped down me and caught me with the tools
IN my hand"
THE THEATRICAL PROBLEM.
To star or not to star-that is the question:
Whether it's better in the mind TO- suffer
5 b4ssF and o1t 6S Of on 9sa geSS critics
70 Pay-ay. there's the rubll For in that tour
&9a semssl@ss ,Eishes e ths snssI KIND
And angels 5E of e kind that sars need g
So sorely in their business grow not on the trees
Euding the enticing traps of cunning stars.
Mh as6 Of he su %here they dwell
Whose floors are paved with money we would get
Th lack ie Of Pfng sa With h0Gs GaeS
And then the 0neg f stands the to trains
The rural critic. with his fierce desire
The Constant e tt fear of Of ooshg up too Soon
BY other stars who either acted wise
That's the dread uncertainty of it all,
That in a. these days Of growing fTst1ight dogs
10 try II on and business not cinch'
-Baltimore American.
At the meeting Of the Institute of Journalists OF
Great Britain and Ireland recently held in Dublin
the retiring president. Major Cratwicke concluded
his address by discussing the kind OF news that
newspapers might with propriety publish. and dis
claiming all prudshness. enunCiated the dictum
that "a should not write for the columns Of
newspaper that which he would not like his wife
his child. his mother or his sister to read"
the e BABY &c oFyng fSf n sT with
the glove Observation-Disclosures Banner.
An English paper calls attention to early
spelling reformer. OF Milford, the historian Of
Greece. Macaulay wrote: Milford piques himself
spelling better than any OF his neighbors. and
this is only in ancient names. which he rnanges
in defiance both OF custom and reason. but In the
most ordinary words of the English language In
Mitford's history the following ''manslsd'' words
may be found Controul. study. labored. labor en-
devored. Literature. marodng, Hand pronunciation
favor. spred forsh. etc. why don't you spell
your Fielding. your family does. not
Fielding p said Lord Denbigh to his relative. the
author of Tom Jones'" The answer trt-
umphant For the very good reason that 7 am
the first Of the family that could spelI!'
"I wonder If there be any industries carried on
in heaven?' inquired the town ignoramus.
there was the guarded answer OF the local sage
Louisville COurier-Journl
A German paper says that the monkeys have
disappeared from Gibraltar. and with their disap-
pearance the last wild monkeys have vanished
from Europe. A correspondent of The London
Spectator contradicts this He writes: THE
monkeys are thought to be disappearing. Most au-
thorities believe that only five remain on the Rock
Some however think there eight. The firing
Of the big guns is thought 10 have something do
with their disappearance. though knows
where they have moved TO. But it may interest
the readers of The Spectator to know that steps
are being taken to introduce fresh blood from
Morocco. where monkeys numerous though
not easily secured"
''Qui sExcuse s'Accuse."-Apropos of this very
true old saying. how frequently 1t happens that
& men SIlGot Sauiy they oHer unnecessary ex-
know these old excuses. which are served up with
IF miss @S rst S pns m m done Vol for i So
the rest OF the day" Another win blame his gun.
md ready excuses whereby blame can be taken
thing else.-Leonard Willoughby, in The Bystander.
While the Duke Of the Abruzzi. with italian guides
and porters. has been climbing Ruwenzort the
highest peak Of Central Africa $4,000 feet high.
Mrs F. Bullock Workman, formerly OF Worcester.
Mass. has with the noted Italian guide Cypren
savage ana TWO porters, made the first ascent Of
the great Nun Kun peak. % 26O feet southwest OF
the Tibetan border. Dr. and Mrs. Workman. with
guide and six Italian porters. camped six nights
snow at more than $4,000 feet The third camp at
10000 feet, was called Camp Italia: the fourth and
highest camp yet made by human beings named
Camp America, was at 81 500 feet From here the
great climb was made DR.. Workman and a porter
stopped at 22S00 feet, while Mrs. Bullock Work
man. with guide and porter. continued tho ascent OF
the towering Ice pinnacle BY this climb Mrs. Bull
lock Workman, who has hitherto held the world
attitude record for women, now claims record
with Dr. Workman and two other men VINO nave
climbed to more than 200 Coolies carried the
camp Kit TO 1890 feet. and above that unique eN-
pertinent was successfully tried all baggage being
carried by the Italian porters who with one eXcep-
uon bore the strain OF carrying loads OF fcrty-ve
pounds we'll Thirty-eight degrees OF frost were
experienced at Camp America. and II was ':So d. m
before tho explorers could put their frozen boots
II attribute my good health entirely TO my mode
bath, said the first sound individual ,.,
. "HeavensP' replied the second souhu inuIlVldua!
"A cold BATH 1t makes me shudder 10 milk OF II
flrst B. Yes, sir. bath as coIu iiS IN water
VIII run then light breakfast or inllk did toast
then hve-mile walk in light cI0thlIhs. y" over
coat not even IN winter. For IuhcnttOn d small
outlet then more walking In the SvSti4s q square
meal and to bed at 10 p. m. nei'Ho' SMOKE nor
drink
Second S. Very we'll do exaoIIy rae opposite:
l sleep long as I can every utoIiiS 1hen
dress In a warm room eat O. large ana go
10 business, for take "a4hS a. iIy other
exercise. 1 take good uncheon. ai1s on the way
home from business / eat a dinner or SIX courses.
First s INSow can you tell me why we are
both sound and strong? - .izar, T cum
a. SSotu .. l. .lshuns IN and do not mind whst |