davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1906-03-02
: THE SOCIAL HOUR. !
kant himxalf Cool.

SNORA ttttS0 SSSs
From the Boston Herald.
A man and his wife was once staying at
a hotel. when In the night they were
aroused from their slunlbers by the cry
that the hotel was attire.
Now. my DEAR" said the husband. II
will put into practice what 1 have
preached. Put on all your Indispensable
apparel. and keep COOL"
Then he slipped his watch into his vest
pocket and walked with his wife out OF the
hotel.
When all danger was past. he said:
Now you see how necessary 1t is TO keep
COOL"
The wife for the first glanced at her
husband.
Yes. William" she said, 'It Is a grand
thing. but IL 1 were you l would have put
on my trousers"
The Same Thing.
Tho late Gutave C. Relchhelm. the note>
chess analyst and problem composer Of
with a horror OF squabbles. noise and ex-
element.
MIR. Heichhelm was once dragged out Of
his peaceful retirement" said a hills
delphian. He had to go to New York to
testify In a libel suit.
In his cross-examination the lawyer for
the defense, unawar that he was dealing
49, a AA4dhA& VA a - ASSOt 1890
with q sheer:
II hope 1t isn't true that you said you
were willing to testify for the other side II
they would pay you better?
"'Oh no: that isn't true Mr.. Retchhelm
answered calmly. But suppose 1t had
been true-then let me put the same ques-
ton to you. II you had been offered a
bigger fee. wouldn't o have been on the
other side yourself?'"
one-Armed Applause.
Mme. Bernhard had just returned from
a spin In a motor car. Her face was flush
ed. and she wore a skirt OF seaiskin.
Madam" said a reporter who speaks
French. what do you regard as the great
est triumph of your career?"
Tn great artist smiled.
My greatest Triumph" she unused.
Well. I think perhaps my greatest tri-
umph was in Paris. on the first night OF
'L'Aiglon,' at the end OF the third act.
The third act was p~assionately ap-
plauded. but. as I stood before the cur
tain. the applause was drowned under q
burst of laughter.
THE laughter came from the topmost
gallery. The audiences eyes. and my eyes
too, were urned responsibility thither.
And as We looked, the reproach died out of
our faces. For what do you suppose we
saw?
I'VE saw two one-armed men standing
up in the front row. side by side, quite
oblivious OF the amusement they created.
cooperating with their remaining hands
to add to the applause"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1906-03-02
Naming the Baby.

From Tit-EitS.
The baby's' name" announced Mn
Leader calmly. lis TO be Hepzibah."
What" exclaimed Leader. But I
Fay, Harriet. think of that you're doing
for the little one! Such a name will be a
handicap throughout her life."
Her name is to be Hephzibah." repeat
ed Mrs. Leader. TT was my dear moth
er's name, and 1t means my delight is IN
her. II you don't think those sufficient
v%casons. L do"
Leader sat quietly for awhile. and then
a crafty look crcpt athwart his vlsage,
and he smiled.
when I come to think of it." he said.
II don't know thar I object to the name.
L was engaged once to a sweet girl whose
name was Hephzibah, and"
THE baby's name" interrupted Mrs.
Leader. haughtily. sis to be Harriet"
One on Smith.
Secretary Shaw today told q story on
Representative Smith Of Iowa when tho
latter was a Hedging attorney and anxious
to make a reputation for himself. A pri-
soner was brought before the bar In the
criminal court In Iowa. but he was not
represented by a lawyer.
Where is your lawyer" inquired the
Judge who presided.
II have none.'' responded the prisoner.
Why haven't you?"
Haven't shy money with which the pay
"a lawyer"
do you want a lawyer?:" asked the
Judge.
Yes. your honor"
There is Mr.. Walter I. Smith, John
Brown. George Green said the Judge.
pointing to a lot of young attorneys who
We're about the court waiting for some
thing to turn IN, land Mr.. Alexander Is
out in the corridor"
The prisoner eyed the budding attor-
neys In the court room. and after a criti-
cal urvey stroked his chin and said:
WALL, I guess 1 will AXE Mr.. Alex
.nder."
Iowa Is Safe.
representative Smith of Iowa. the same
one Secretary Shaw told the story about,
As chairman of the subcommittee OF the
appropriations committee to which esti-
mates for Notifications on the sea coast
are sent. The other day a demand for
expenditures for fortifying Portland. Me-.
was before the subcommittee, and the
chairman manifested a painful lack of
appreciation OF the danger that PORTLAND
may be shot to pieces any day by a hos
tie feet. He was SO sympathetic that
finally a New England member who was
cir the measure exclaimed:
I'D like to know why II is that this
committee or Notifications always gets a
man at its head from the Mississippi VAL
ley
Reasons of economy. reasons of econ
omy.' replied the chairman. '.11l tell you
what to do. You get somebody to invent
81 cannon that win send a shell as far In
land as Counc Bluffs, and Wen look
into this case further"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1906-03-02
Tho German Students.

Drunkenness has of late been charged
in England against the students of the
University OF oxford. OF this charge Per-
rival Farrav. an Oxford. man. said In De-
troit:
Now and then young men drink too
much at oxford, but to accuse them gen
orally of drunkenness is quite unparGon-
able and false.
Such an accusation is to my mind alb
surd, like the accusation. Of .dleness made
against tho students of the great German
universities.
Attendance at lectures is not compul-
sorry in Germany. and there are all sorts
Of yarns about the students dleness. They
say that Il young man in Heidelberg cnce
approached another young man andasked f:
"'Where are the university bui.dings?
The second young mar replied:
~ really don't know. l am a student
here myseIf.'"
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-07
What the Market Affords
MEAL steak, 20 cents pound.
y Macaroni, 10 cents package
Hominy grist, 10 cents package.
Head lettuce, 10 cents each. ~
Peanut butter, 10 and Is cents a jar.
Prunells, 20 cents a pound.
tr1nells, ~ cents a pound.

The creoles famous for their cookery and this
they make veal stew: Boil rapidly for twenty min
ues four Of macaron-the water should be boiling
before the macaroni put In Drain and throw into cold
water allowing it to stand for half hour Drain second
time and place Barely with hot water
and allow to simmer the back Of the Take one
slice of veal steak and squares Pour little
salad oil into saucepan and when becomes hot drop in
the pieces Of veal Stir them steaming oil and
In minute or two push the saucepan to the back Of the
stove to allow the meat to cook slowly for half hour
Keep the saucepan during this cooking process Stir
together Of breadcbs and two tablespoonful of
grated cheese adding dash Of paprka pepper
pinch OF salt Take scan teaspoonful of salt
scatter half of it the macaron and the half
over the veal just before the stew be served place
the veal in platter which piping hota lay the maca-
ron around it, In the saucepan from which the veal was
removed place the breadumbs and cheese shake over
the fire until they become golden brown Spread these
over the top Of the veal and macaron
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-07
"A String Of Good Stories
THE READY RECKoNER.
~ cannot tell how the truth may be:
say the tale rs twas said to mo-.

CONGRESSMAN NICHOLAS LoNGWoRTH discuss
" ing industrial stock that had proved worthless
IT have confess he said, t1no patience with people
who invest their money in such transparent frauds They
as gulible as the Transvaal farmer.
.This farmer had bought his stock and his household
necessities from certain pedder for years At the end
of this time he to the conclusion that the pedder had
been cheating the various additions and multiplied
involved their business transactions wrongly
done.
$50 the farmer, his next visit to Pretoria bought
ready reckoner He studied the volume carefully and
convinced that his fears true Neither addition
subtraction multiplication had the pedder used him just
ly. Beyond doubt he was short good deal Of money
SSThe next time the peddler called the farmer said
6 I will deal with you more
3tWhy not?' the peddler asked
8 Because you have been cheating I have bought
ready reckoner and is plain you have used dis
honorable way
9'Les your ready reckoner said the peddler
piciously.
'The book brought to him, he glanced at it, then
handed it back with of contempt
" This is last years ready reckoner he said 1T
good for this year. 81
tWhy you're right said the farmer 4 never thought
Of that
"And he bought heavy bill Of goods''
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-07
KILLED WITH KINDNESS.

THEY discussing the horrors that attended on the
l hanging Of Mary Rogers.
tBut she suffered little = said physician every muir
derr who goes the gaows the electric chair drugged
to the point almost Of Otherwise the death
sentence unendurably hideous would be abolished
He frowned and continued:
'1No man, alone cell with the knowledge that on
certain day. at certain hour he to be killed, keep
his nerve.
He stops eating, he stops sleeping, little while he
begins to shrek.
11Then the druggng begins With opium with alcohol
he is uled torpor On the day Of his death he so
heavily dosed to be- to all practical ntents and purposes
! unconscious.
Condemned murderers, the last day approaches
wild with terror that it takes incredible lot Of dosing
to them have untouched by three grains
of morpha, and pint Of whisky would have
on them than shell beer
Thank goodness, say, that is at least humane
enough before he Stays his brother drug the poor fellow
into stupor. Thank goodness that when kill legally,
we kill with kindness
Old bachelors all Newton, Descartes, Spinoza,
Michael Angelo Kant, Voltare, Gibbon Beethoven Sir
Francis Drake Watts Cooper, Hume Washington Irving
Whittier and Walt Whitman
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-07

we'll preserved, in full THEY WALKED
possession of health, - o
strength and all his intellectual faculties
"a hypothesis is man, is it?''
Giles necessary part of this Suppose some such
describing not at all Unlocking, and possessed
Of reasonable share Of this worlds goods should fall
wildly, desperately in love with you Miss Mildred"
+ 'tWell?''
"And offer you his hand and heart-do you think you
could learn to love him ~
''Not if he looked anything like you, Mr. Matewer.'
They walked along block two in silence.
Then Mr.. Matewer spoke again.
"Fees little if going to snow doesn' it, Miss
McGnns?'' he said.-Chicago Tribune.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-07
A SIGN REVISED.

Leu US, not Lalk Sl'
business I will vary the
ga what2" ~
:, ga hypothesis. A
hypothesis is a suppose
ton, an assumption, a
postulate, a working
basis, or an idea taken
for granted, for the
purpose Of laying "a
foundation, establishing
a proposition, or dem
onstrating a fact. Get
the ideaq" 4
=. go, yes; anybody
can understand that. Is
there any more of itq'a
''There is. Some day
my dear girl, you ex.
pect to marry some
BODY -. ......-..
lis that the hypo-
hypo-
"No; that is one o
the eternal verities. Ev
cry pretty girl expect:
to : marry somebody
Here is the hypothesis
Suppose some man
slightly past the bloom
ing period Of youth, bu
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-07
IT HELPS TRADE.

IT HE winter twilight wisful and sad.
. LISTEN she said in tense voice. .tHear the
bowling of the lost wind among the bare trembling
See how mou1nfu lies the waning light the
hills This frozen desoation! OH does it make you
feel that in life there too much Of cold much Of
bleakness?''
Well no. " he answered. eandidy. Father you see, is
in the coal business
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-07
NATURAL HISTORY.

e. A. WHITNEY Of Metteetsee, Wyo., spent 1000
Gently rather than disturb the grave Of favorte dog
Mr.. Whitney, rich rancher, was digging irrigation
ditch and the plans called for channel right thru the
dogs grave. He changed the plans giving the ditch wide
deour and the grave remained unframed tho of Mr. Whit
ney's bank account this could not be said
Mr. Whitney is phianhropic. He is greatly interested in
all charities that help children During visit
York he told story about little sm urchn whom he had
sent month vacation into the country
tsThe lad ignorant he said shat he thought
got mush from the mushroom ard milk from the mkweed
One morning lady pointed to horse in field and said
g Look at the horse jimmy
$ That's a COW, the boy contradicted
mo-, said the lady TT horse
1Tain Its cow said the boy Horses has wagons
to 'em.' =
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-07
THE DIFFERENCE.

II II. KIRKLAND Of Boston is conducting fight against
~. the moth. He has" imported from Zurich great
quantity Of moth parasites, and with the help Of the little
creatures he and the people Massachusetts, hope ob
crate the moth completely.
sOur work may succeed" said Mr.. Kirkland recently,
cor we somewhere, and it may fall It must
eeed if mistakes-bu then, you know mistakes
common
tsMstakes everywhere. heard lawyer
haunting another this afternoon about them
!" you make good many mistakes, suppose the law
yer said
" q You, too no doubt said the doctor.
Bu Doctors mistakes often buried feet
ground said the lawyer
eyes said the doctor, .and lawyers mistakes often
swing six feet in the air. -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-07
THE FRENCH BRICKLAYER.

CAMUEL GoMPERs, the reelected chief of the American
- Federation Of Labor, pointing the good that
unions have done for workmen -
Gin France he said there few unions and a
French brickayer told the other day that wages
consequence unreasonaby low there
The bricklayer said with laugh that friend Of his in
Nice out of work. bought the Avenue de la Care
paper He took the paper home to his attic in the squad
Rue Felix and his wife, after turning to the advertisements
said eagerly:
fSThe very thing! You must look into this, Marcel It
says is wanted at the Palas de la Jetee and he
won't be worked DEATH and will be paid enough live
%fsThe started
t'stWon't be worked to death?' he muttered.
eyes, said his wife, and paid enough to live on
He frowned.
"SsHa!' he said. Some catch about that -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-07
MARSHALL P. WILDER AND THE IRISH,

=
LTHO the characteristic wit and humor of every
is made exceedingly funny in Marshall P. Wider's
telling the little humorist shines particularly when he tells
Irish yarn
ut was the 18th Of March last says Wilder, ''and
certain ishman expressed his intention Of riding style
in the annual parade When he endeavored to
rage however, he informed that everything was gone
Hold minute, tho said the proprietor of the livery
stable. II think [ can let you have a Victoria
'''Ye do do yea answered the Ce savagey. will,
think NOT And the proprietor could not understand
long time why the freshman walked angrily away"
Wilder declares that when certain shman famed for
his hard drinking asked why he did not take just
drink day, and let at that, answered. Shure what
good would Won do9 A bird can't fly wild won wng''
Wilder also tell story of another Here one
he tells Of ancient Hebrew gentleman who had
from Wall street with competency.
II afraid I am not going to live long, said the
Hebrew to Wilder Pshaw said the humorist, syou
only 80 now and I'll bet you live to be 1902
'sNo no. said the old broker 'tThe Lord will never
take me at par when he get me for co.,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-07
THE RIGHT PLACE.

MPATIENTLY he tangled the bell Of the unatic asylum
IT desire he said to the physician charge, Ito look
over your inmates. =
The request is unusual, the physician answered MAY
i ask what prompts it ~
IT represent, replied the other ssWall the
money interests and wish select batch of presi
dents for the street trust and the leading
panies.''
The independent. [volume] (Lincoln, Neb.) 1902-1907, 1906-05-24
LINCOLN, NEBRASKA

August comes when Stromberg, Allen
& Co. put union men to work Tne
ALLEY L. strike of ironworkers is
called Off
Russian Revolutionists declare DR..
Gregory Maxine, who was due to
speak here last Sunday, has been
kidnapped by Russian spies and is on
his way back to ST. Petersburg, a
political prisoner.
Railroad business continues to hold
the center of interest in the iron and
steel trade. Buying of steel rails has
continued on very large scale and
practically all the authorities are
agreed that there are now on the
books orders for at least 100000
tone of rails for 1907 delivery. The
condition was never known before
and it is read as the most encourag-
ing sign in the trade. Railroad man
The independent. [volume] (Lincoln, Neb.) 1902-1907, 1906-05-24
A&esboe4ke5mo1@
LINCOLN, NEBRASKA

of 1856 to 103, passes the section of the
naval appropriations bill which pro-
vides for the construction of the great
esq battleship in the world.
Deadlock in the senate committee
on interoceanic canals is broken by
the return of Senator Caramack, and a
report recommending the sea- level
type for the Panama Canal is passed
Members of the general assembly
pass the new Illinois primary act and
adjourn, after a severe attack ON the
compromise measure made by Lieu
tenant Governor Sherman in the SEN
ate.
Charles Gilhooley and SIX other
'ssluggers'' in Chicago are sentenced
to the penitentiary for terms not ex-
ceeding five Years.
First important break in the ranks
of the Chicago Typothetae since last
The independent. [volume] (Lincoln, Neb.) 1902-1907, 1906-05-24

agements as a rule have the best
possible facilities for reading the bust
ness future. If they have read Alright
in this instance the present excellent
business conditions are to extend we'll
into next year at least.
Net profits of the Anaconda Copper
company, according to the annual re-
port, were $5,718,828 in 1905, the larg-
est in the history of the company, and
conditions were shown to promise
further prosperity.
Interstate commerce commission
will direct inquiry to the use by rail-
roads of the application sheet" in
filing alleged preferential rates when
1t resumes the Standard Oil hearing
at Cleveland
Georgian, crazed by drink and dis
appointed in love, kills one man.
wounds five and commits suicide.
The independent. [volume] (Lincoln, Neb.) 1902-1907, 1906-05-24
Summary Of News
(Continued)

at Chefoo, China, is elected moder
ator of the Presbyterian general as
sembly at Des Moines.
Mayor Mcclellan says that large
section of the new tunnel between
New York and Brooklyn is so poorly
constructed that it will have to be re-
built.
Wilson Miner husband of former
Mrs. Yerkes, who is the guest of a
pugilist at Coney Island, says he sees
not prospect of reconciliation with
his wife,
Secretary of State Houser OF Wis
consin, according TO his friends, will
ignore charges of attempted bribery
in insurance investigation and Will
not retire from the race for renomina-
ton at the primaries.
DR.. Frank Billings and others score
so-called consumption cures in adj
dresses before a national meeting OF
physicians and others interested in
the fight against tuberculosis held in
Washington.
Rev. Charles Stuart Balm, arrested
at Waterloo, N. Y, on charge OF ar
son and thought to be former prls-
oner at Joliet, lays his acts to
spell"
Samuel E. Erickson, member of the
legislature from Chicago, refuses to
accept pay for the extra session be-
cause he is on the pay rolls of Cook
county. The action of many other
solons holding two jobs is in doubt.
Senator Bailey hurls a new shaft
at the president, pointing to the White
House as the source Of the charge OF
bad faith, which. he denies.
President Roosevelt makes public a
letter from Commissioner Garfield an
swering with detailed evidence the de-
malls of secret favors to the Standard
Oil company made by railroad Of
ficials
Majority report of senate commit
tee fayoring sea-level canal at Pana
ma shows that San Francisco disaster |
Influenced the decision.
William E. Curtis, writing from
New York, tells Of the new road
James J. Hill is to begin to build |
through northwest Canada this sum- /
mer to tap the new wheat fields of
Manitoba.
Returns of Denver election show
city to be divided almost evenly on
municipal ownership, the city car line
proposition being defeated by 365 |
votes.
Capitalization of $1OO,O0O,O0O is de-
cided on for the mortgage loan cor
poration being organized in New York |
to advance money for rebuilding OF
Frisco.
National Association of Manufacture
ers. in session at New York, elects
J. w. Van Cleave of st. Louis, presi
dent.
Insurance Commissioner Host of
Wisconsin accuses Secretary of State
Houser of acting as the agent of the
Equitable Life in attempting to in
fluence a favorable decision by Offer
ing a $4,000 campaign contribution.
Standard Oil breaks its silence to
reply to Commissioner Garfelds In
dictment, disputing his charges and
dening it has profited by rebates.
Twenty-six awards, including $10,-
500 in cash, are made by the Car
negie hero fund commission.
President of coal company testifies
before the interstate commerce COM
mission to giving $4,000 check and
valuable gifts Of stock to Pennsyl-
vania road officials.
Mayor Becker of Milwa, ZEE denies
rumor that he may enter race for
governorship and declares he will not
give up his present place until the
end of his term, two years hence
Senator Bailey, in speech in the
senate, declares that an article in a
81. n
The independent. [volume] (Lincoln, Neb.) 1902-1907, 1906-05-24

"A GREAT QUARTER.0FF SALE|
BEGINS FRIDAY, MAY 18TH, Tomorrow
Every
offer
fourth off regular The
owing spring thousands Of
dollars OF merchandise which be sold in
FRIDAY, SATURDAY, MONDAY AND TUESDAY
before have such these
off, Read this advertisement carefully.
Below will find the included this
o all fancy @hom. Dresc ods-ee
O. nd
i Poneec beautiful styles Fo Voc
oNEFouRTH
s-Bradcou Wash
oNEFouRTH
de ofcypnc esonys nwelst Included
from. Lace Cur
is
anngs- hertreac
copyrights an vi Cases Carpets pieces fcape
Gloves
oNEFouRTH
go
and tneHe eceof lkmded
Dress
and Suits all ohEFouRH
oNEFouRTH
aboM shrs to OFF ncoked
AAespoe1kesmoz@ |
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-01-14
Temporary Presiden. Favor Treaty.

C.,Nc'du. o., Jan. ls-Thc Leader
today PRINT, he iu!u~.L..
kJMun CaC, rLs. temporary pr,s'Ltn,
Of Sln,O nua!Ego has Cah,cd tAe
L.la,r ma; Le vi. favor H., RoO>r
We ';ca'y and that peace In t.c m.
tie republic j. assured TIE cable
gan va, signed by Pardo C,Ndr.
agent. an! AIS IN an>weT - one stG,
hN me Leader asking President Ca
core, A. 20 al, !n'oH'iuH I, sdr!ins tie
'r,a'l all 80 pf',Yc,, ot peace 1ne
Ca3.' cram in.oNs:
"irrcrvicw.t Caccr,s by request
Iou- e. sam He said / favor IN
CONVENTION and - ra'.h"a,ion lrsur
rcc''ou 'in,I - sirs.t province
K'N"u'Iuh5-', defeated Complete
r,a,. ~. ,lpu .o stored (S:sLrd)
par!r C'l.. 4. ~"
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-01-14
Determined Against Hazins.

: AFFORD University. Calf. Jan. ~.
-Suii pcr,"v"ring In their a'iemp, 10
qudsl every ,,m5'are 81 h.Iing. In
the student dormitogy. Enci Hall. TIC
f. NY committee today dropped two
more mon from the uE!vors!'y-R W
MrE,rOIy ari n G Workman Tho
mos griovops ofcnsc proved against
either OF the suspended students was
'la' they wcr" present az the tub
hinr - = freshman Both were mem
h.rs ~ No snrAomnrc c.a.s.