The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-07-26

fiig tlelF headquarters -...v-Ils building,
and, knowing how much the people
love them. they are taking no chances.
Beware Of tbs typists. Flee from the
stenograpbers. II yol find love bud.
ding In your young heart come to me
and get a good spanking
I started In with heroic resolves, but
| was failure after the first week. A
black eyed typlst with much gold In
her front teeth smiled at me as she
went up. She laughed at me az she
came down. She chuckcd me under the
chin on her third trip, and on her fourth
she whispered:
"Sammis, It II case Of love at first
sight. can't live without you"
Three days later I got the bounce.
The trust InagBates were complaining
that my elevator wabblcd and that !
showed desire 10 run them all down
into the basement or mp against the
roof. | waited IN the vestIbule for the
black eyed girl. but when she appear.
ed and spoke TO her she replied:
"Don't ask me. Bobbie. I have only
been here week.
Six differSxt times have loved, and
six different times have received the
bounce. have now ceased to love. No
matter how good looking the girl who
takes my elevator aud no matter how
sweet her smile or how delicious her
giggle. | keep my stern dignity and
permit of no familiarity. There are
occasions when | am cbucked under
the chin and hear the whispered cx-
clamatlon 0f how sweet am. but the
elevator never wabbies by a hairs
breadth.
But IL 1t the same with other elevator
boysl | ask. Alas, no. Wherever I go
find them growing careless Of their
duties because the sentiment OF love
has touched their hearts. A month ago
q young man running an elevator Ia a
prominent skyscraper conHded to inc
that he was In love with sten0gra-
pher In the building. She was twenty
four and he sixteen. but be did not care
for the difference In their ages. In
deed. he thought II better TO have an
aunt and mother and sweetheart
all In one. She had patted him on the
back; she had pulled his ear; she had
praised his complexion. In her insldi-
Gus way she was Turing that boy on to
his doom. struggled with him, but II
was no use. His infatuatlon was com.
plete. Three days later while thinking
OF bis darling he bumped his elevator
against the roof and hurt three passen.
gers and got the bounce. When he
went to the woman Of his heart for
sympathy and TO ask her to wait until
he could strike another engagement
she pretended that she had never seen
or heard of him before and that be
must have become intoxicated on soda
water.
Today | could name twenty elevator
boys who are In love. That means
twenty accidents sooner or later. II
also means twenty bounces. There
should be posted up In every elevator
in the city notice reading:
"Any girl speaking TO the elevator
boy on any matter outside Of business
VIII be compelled TO walk up aud
down stairs thereafter"
II you are about to take public ele
vator look first at the boy who runs IT,
II be Is pale faced and anxious look'
Ing and seems TO have something o.
his mind turn your back OF that cage
and take the stairs. That boy Is In
love and Is worrying as to how he car
support a wife on So week.
II, on the contrary, he Is chewing
gum and whistling 10 himself step
right In and be holsted
That boy has nothing greater on h!s
mind than bet on the races.
I have loved and shall love again.
Int have found tha. o. So. 2 Autv tc