davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
Gne careless Wan.

Il had Il peculiar dream last night,
Mary" said a railroad man to his wife.
Il dreamed ] was appointed agent for
our line in San Francisco at double the
salary I'm now getting 4 writer
in the Kansas city Times tells the
story.
''IIow fine" said his wife. with n
smile.
Yes" continued the man. "and !
started for San Francisco 70 take the
place. At Il small station in Kansas,
where the train stopped, saw dog
fight going Oh and stepped off the ear
to watch it, The train went off with
ont me, and ] woke up before | could
catch another"
The wife's smile changed To look of
keen disappointment.
'lIenry.' she said. you oughi tn M'
ashamed Of yourself. Why didn't yoi
stay on that train and let that dog
fight alone? You'll never get Il good
job if you act like that"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
HE is THE TALLEST SOLDIER.


Lieutenant In lNulser's BOdyEuard .
over Seven Feet Tall.
Undoubtedly the tallest soldier in the
world is Josef Handel. who has recent
ly been made Il lieutenant in the kai-
ser's famous bodyguard During the
past year and before he became a SO,
der he was exhibited under the simple
name of der langc josef in the Berlin
Panopitikon and other places OF inter
est in the large cities of Germany as
the tallest youth on earth. Il distinction
to which he is easily entitled, says the
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Handel is not - years old. yet lie
stands : feet : inches i'm his stock ingS
Though lie was earning II big salary he
did not hesitate II moment when the
Potsdam. lie would never have been
given the honor it the Kniser's physi
clans had not pronounced him perfect
" propOrtioned physically and Of sound
health. A remarkable fact is tina, Han
dels parents. who live in Leipzig. are
people OF ordinary size. as are also his
brothers and sisters. of whom there
are seven. Handel makes Il pictur-
esqne figure in his guard uniform and
the high helmet makes him look Il ver-
table Goliath. Frederick the Great
would have given his best pipe TO have
added such giant to his guard OF tall
soldiers.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

We come upon the auto standing
upon the brow Of the hill.
Hello" lie says to the chauffeur.
Broken down."
NO, sir" he responds.
"Out OF gasoline:'
mo. sir. We have plenty"
Tire puncture1:'
no. sir The tires are in perfect
condition.
Lost your way"
NO. sir. The country herraboutS is
very familiar"
dropped something from the a,lto:'
NO. sir. Nothing OF the sort
Then why are You standing here :
Why are you not shooting down the
hill and across the level at terrific
speedt
Il do not care Ia do that" says the
owner "f the machine. who has been
silent until this moment. Il had my
auto stopped here so thar ! might enjoy
The magnificent view from This rleya
ton.
With 4 frightened glance at him. we
turn and hasten 10 the nearest town. t.
warn the officials that M evidently in.
sane person is at large in an autonio
bilc.-kanSRS City lndcpendplt.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

Gov. Johnson OF Minnesota mas made
an interesting contribution to very
old discussion-the relation between
wealth and happiness. Give me Meth
III poverty nor riches" exhausts the
whole subject in principle, and no one
VIII dissent from the Governors varia
ton upon that wise formula in the Oh
scrvation that the most vicious stand
ard of success is that which sets w
dollars and cents as the height OF hu-
man ambition" But the definitions Of
poverty and of riches change with the
ment of needs, tastes and the means
OF gratifying them. Gov. Johnson is
certainly "modern'' in his interprett-
ton of the Old Testament prayer. The
happy medium between poverty and
riches he finds in $4,000 Il year. Tie
man who lives right. he says. doesn't
reed any more. the implication being
That he who must manage on II smaller
income will generally he conscious OF
privatiOn and unSatisticd but legitimate
terestins to know how the figure Pop
resenting complete happiness under
right living and high thinking was
evolved. The advocates OF the simple
life would regard The ambition 20
achieve the $4,000 plane az hardly less
oralizing. irrational and pernicious
than the ambition to accumulate mill
ions. We know simple life propaganda
lists who earnestly protest that a per-
son, il unmarried. can be perfectly
happy on Sl2 Il week. though their COLI
ception of happiness includes reason-
able satisfaction OF eSthetic and liter.
airy and social needs. They make pro
vision in tlletical--budgeis
for concerts. the theatcr and the ope.a.
Books and periodicals. of course. are To
he had mt the libraries and good news
papers are within the reach OF every
ore. Travel is no doubt out of ti.r
question on that allowance. but they
dwell on the joys of walking in the
country and on the pleasures to be dc
rived from liberal use of the interur-
ban trolley. This ideal is certainly
more inspiring TO the overwhclmin.
majority Of the people of even the most
prosperous country OF the world than
Coy. Johnson's $lO.UOO standard OF
happiness. The workman. the cler>.
the average professional man. the farm
er. might as well think Of million rs
Of $4,000, and the latter amount Is
needed" consciously, by very few. On
the other hand. the man who honestly
acquires millions may 'need' them fD:
benevolent purposes and spend many
times $4,000 year while conform Eg
TO the highest requirements OF socirI
and individual morality. After all. the
fundamental question is how great
wealth is accumulated. The real prof
lem is to secure equal opportunity. to
prevent unjust special privilege and
the abuse OF the power of monopoly
conferred by society itself.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
The Great World Man.

Geographers representing the priE
cipal nations are at work upon u map
100000, and Prof. Penck, the German
geographer, reports that siXiyninc
sheets out OF 437 planned had been
completed up to March last. A distance
of one mile will be represented by Il
space about onesiX tecnth of an inch
long. There are, Of course, many maps
of small areas on a much larger scale
than this. but TO represent the whole
face of the known world Oh this scale
is an undertaking OF vast interest -
Tii-Riis.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
500 Reward, 500.

The ren.ers oi this paper will be pleased Il
earn MAJ there is at least one dreaded dlstas
l,at science has been able To cure IN eli II
g.A.cs hnd that is tatafrn. HAIRS tetarr!
Cue IL me O,ly positive cure known 10 th
e,icnl fraternity. tatarrn being coN-Itu
.lpnnl disease, requires constitutional lrcof
'ncni. HANS CatmIrh cure, sen III ternhily
.c.ins direr,ly upcn tie l"od and nuc0u
sur ures Of the syei.n, thereby Il :: oyine IT,
i ,iu.iniiuu OF the ,.iaee.e and giving the =
,ivut strength h! bulldog u!' tie "ons,itut.'
.;,d assisting nature in '"ing It's Mork. -
',-,prleturs have ii, ,"i:ch min 10 its CHrafI'
overs shat they offer one HUN red JOHN
or nay case that il iu,is 20 cur:. send Tor IL
/ tes nnOninlS.
Al ress r. ]. cnENEY & Co, Toledo,
;cl by druggists, 15o.
heii's Pam" "itis re I he bert.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
Hoods SarsapariIIa

We are often asked, Why does Hoods Sarsaparla
effect SO many cures of that to be almost
beyond the reach of medicine?
The answer this that this great medicine is enabled
by the popularity of its formula produce results unap
preached by any other medicine this popularity consist
ing in the balanced combination of the very best specifics
for the Blood liver kidneys, stomach and bowels namely
the liver, Mandrake, Dandclon; for the Kidneys, IVA
Ursi Juniiper Berries, Pipsissewa for the stomach,
Ccnan, Wild Cherry Bark Bitter Orange Pec for the
bowels Senna Mandrake and Dandeion.
Sold by druggists everywhere. Get a bottle today.
Usual form, liquid FORM tablets, Dollar
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

A Dishonest Purpose means a Dishonest
Product and Disregard Of the Purchas-
ers' Health or Welfare.
Beware Of the Slick Salesman and his
ancient Just as Good story that COM
mon sense refutes.
Cascarets are made only by the Sterling
Remedy Company, and the famous little
Ten Cent Vest Pocket" box is hero
shown. They are never sold in bull.
Every tablet marked "CCC."
Be sure you get the genuine.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
Fresh <rcktteS for Boys.

Don't put up with shabby ties. boys
You are never too young 10 think hit
about your looks. and though most
folks detcSt the boy whose heart is In
his clothes instead Of the place it ought
to be. it's worth money and reputa
ton to keep clean and neat When n
tie gets shabby throw II in the waste
basket and begin on another
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

Freddy lived in Il boarding house
near where they had been cxcayatinc
for the subway. One day when he saw
his mother struggling with Il particulars
ly tough steak the bOarderS were con
vulsed to hear him pipe up:
Mamma. why don't you blast =
New York Press
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
Evidence AT Hand,

''Death often changes aversion into
love- remarked the man who has q
mania for handing ont quotations.
That's right" rejoned the ordinary
mortal. II have an antipathy for hogs,
but l dearly love sausages."
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

Psmith-Nou can't eat your cake and
have it. too. YOU know.
kjoucS-The dickens | can't. You
ought to try some Of my wfes cake
You can eat it and it'll stay with YOU
for four days.-Clcyelan Leader
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
To Break in New Shoes.

Always shake in Aliens Foot Ease, a
powder. 1t cures chilblains, damp,
sweating. aching, swollen feet. Cures
Corns and Bunions. At all druggists and
shoe stores, 2Jc. Don't accept any hub
stitute. sample mailed FREE. Ad-
dress Allen 5. Olmstead, Leroy, y. y.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

Bernard Shaw writes to an American
clipping bureau that he has been "curcd
OF vanity, of curiosity, of ambition"
Now watch him and see how long he
will stay cured
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
Get What You Ask For!

q true. faithful, loyal servant Of Mankind.
Over Five Millions Of Dollars have
been Spent to make the merits Of Cas-
care.s known, and every cent OF 1t would
be lost. did not sound merit claim and
hold the constant. continued friendship.
Patronage and Endorsement of we'll
pleased people year after year.
There Is also a Reason
Why there are Parasites who attach
themselves to the Healthy Body Of Cas-
caret's ssccess-lmitators Counterfeiters.
Substitutors.
They are Trade Thieves who would
rob Cascarets Of the GOOD viii" of tho
people. and sneak unearned profits.
earned and paid for by Cascarcts.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

He Don't you think its dangerous to
Kiss II dog:
She-Perhaps. But not always so
dangerous rs il is To kiss Il man.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

Il Is not an Experiment. not an Acct
dent Or Incident, but a sound, Honest
Business. based on Time Tried and TESTED TESTED
Merit. never found wanting.
There Is Reason.
Cascare,s are the implacable foe OF
Al Disease Germs: the incorporate
cleanser. purifier and strengthener OF the
entire Digestive Canal.
They Act like Exercise on the Bowel
Muscles. make them strong and active
able TO Help Themselves do their work.
keep themselves clean.
Cascarets are the safeguard OF lnnocent
Childhood against the Dreadful Death
dealing Dangers that threaten the Lives
Of the Little Ones.
They are Purely Vegetable. absolutely
Nasmles.. always Reliable and Efficient,
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

Stage Manager That carrot aired
"supe is perfect pumpkin head.
Low Comedian-IeS. he's vegeta-
ble supe.-Cleveland Leader.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

Place boy with his back against the
wall. his heels standin. firmly against
It. Lay half dollar on the floor in
front OF him. about Il foo, distant from
his toes. and tell him ii is his If he
can pick ii up without moving his heels
from against the wall In vain will
he try to get the coin under the ,ondi
tons prescribed.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

Askilt w hat proof have we that the
good die young:
Knoitt-rhe warns of the oldest In
Intitaut"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
G. p. r. IRRIGATED LANDS.

Write for illustrated folder regarding
g.. II. Il. IRRIGATED lands In southern
Alberta between Calgary and Medicine
Hat On mail line c. +. Railway. Only
$3.50 per acre. including perpetual
water ght. Maintenance tax so cents
peS acre. Rich soil. Abundance OF
water. Fienty of sunshine. Easy terms:
Low rates of transportation for lana
SeskcsB
WEST AMERICAN LAND CO.
10 n
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
One Hatch Free

to prospective cue-
toner that wishes t.
test the St. Helens In
eubatcr. Its the match
that counts and The
St.Helens will stand
the test. IS page cat
sloguc free il you
mention this paper.
Address st. Helens In
cubatOr Co, Toledo, Wn.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's
Soothing Syrup the best remedy to use
for their children during the teething
period
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

~ FREE TO OUR FRIENDsi
We want to send to bur friends a beautiful
French-designed. GOLD-PLATED BONBON BOX.
hard-enameied In colors. 1t Is beauty for tho
measure Of good faith and to cover cost Cascaret
with which this dainty trinket Is loaded. 7e6
Send to-day. mentioning this paper. Address
Sterling Remedy Company, Chicago Or New York
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
S Per Cen + GOLD BONDS

Why sccept lower rate of interest
from savings banks when We own and
0ffer for sale $.50.000 of the 0.00O
issue Of the Mount Hood Electric Co.
tPortlard- Oregon) 2O-year Gold Bonds,
paying So. secured by a First Aortsase
gu $4,000 worth of property. Safest
Investment available. Write for par
ticuisrv. THE BANK OF AMERICA,
San Francisco, Cal.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

1NHERE Is Reason
ii Why the Good People OF
IL America buy Cascarets as
Ia Fast as the Clock Ticks.
Every second some one. somewhere.
Is Buying q little Ten-Cent Box OF Cas-
carrots.
AZ. ,. 4. S, $50 times to the Minute.
60 Minutes to the Hour. $500 Boxes an
Hour. 5000 Boxes Day of Ten Hours.
100000 Boxes Month, and then some.
Think Of i,-22o. 900 People take a
Cascarst tablet each day. Millions use
CAscarsts when necessary.
The Judgment Of Millions OF Bright
Americans Is Infallible. They have been
Buying and Taking Cascarets at that rate
TOR over Six years.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tab
lets. Druggists refund money If it fails
to cure. F.. w. GROVES signature is
on each box. 25c.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

A lady going from home for the day,
says a writer in the New York World.
locked everything mp carefully. and 70.
the groccr's benefit ,eft a card on the
baci; door.
"All out. Don't leave anything" 1t
read.
On her return she found her house
ransncked and all her choicest posses
sions gone. 10 the card on tho door
was added, Thanks. We haven't left
much"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26
k9dF|9|{ y Bl1];II rs ! & !|y1 e
@E ~ 41S25zsSs2 NV 81

son it is the accepted form OF the tele
phone companies the world over.
Washington Star.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

what makes you think Blank %
broke
lie used 10 boast So much about :,
having so many friends, and now he.
never mentions Them"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

Jokes and JOkelets that Are supposed
TO Have Been Recently Isorn-Sayin
aud Doings that Are Old, Curious and
Lau.i,able-Thc Weeks liumor.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

GIRO Permanently Cured. No fits or nervousness
lilo after first dag Use Of Dr. Kline Great Nerve
RestOrer. Send for Free BE trial bottle and treatise
Dr. Il. H Kline. Ltd, 93l Arch St. Philadepha, p
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

Salt sprink.cd on any substancr that
Is burning On a stove Will sep tho
s",o'-n oni smell
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

One day little Tom played with his
bal in the parlor while his mother was
out. and he broke a pretty vase. When
his mother came home she asked Tom
how he came 10 break the vase Tom
explained to her exactly how lie had
broken it and said that he was very
sorry His mother said that she would
forgive him this time and he promised
that he would not disObey her again.
The next day Tom. who had been
thinking all the day before how to re-
place the vase. thought OF plan. He
nut on his hat and coat and started To
the grocery shop.
Want a boy to work for YOU" he
said
Eyes" replied Mr.. Martin Il WAS
just going to advertise for one"
"All right" said Tom. I'll start in
right now" and in a fortnight Tom
had earned enough money TO buy n
vase exactly like the one he had brok
cn--Brooklyn Eagle.
Examples In Roman NumeratIo".
Prefix 800 to greasy and make ii
small napkin.
Prefix 1000 to the first man and
make woman.
Prefix so to the handiwork Of Noah
and make bird OF which poets love
to write.
Prefix ) to chills and fever and make
indefinite.
Prefix 100 to kind of monkey and
get woman's garment.
Answers madam, Lark,
vague. cape.
why We Say ..Heilo."
Long, long ago wolves We're numer-
Gus in all parts of the world. especially
in England. Wolf hunting was favor
lite sport with the gentry, and to kill
wolves was regarded as the sacred
duty of all Enclishmcn. In fact, an old
law reads: "All barons must hunt and
chase wolf four times a year.
French was the language of the court
at that time. SO the burly old English
hunters used the cry of the French
wolf hunters. which was "Au loup. An
loup," ("To the wolf.") These words
heard at distance, sounded like "A
loo" but the English, who always put
an II on wherever they possibly can.
nut it on the words "A loo" and when
wolf hunting shouted "lIa-loo. This
form we use when we call Hello" as
no word has been found that carries SO
far Or SO we'll as hello. For this rea-
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

A GUARANTEED CURE ron PTLRS-
Itching, Blind Heading, FrotrndinE
plea. Druggists are authorized to re
fund money !, PAZO OiNTMEpeT fails
"a cure in . to IA days. 5oc.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-26

When nan il invited to girls
house 10 dinner, and Is told that she
did the cooblDg, tLnt's bait
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1906-11-16

lass, Mrs. Annie Putegnat, Miss
Anita Miro, Mrs. A. v. Kennedy
and daughters, Anna and Sara,
and the Miss Havre. They re-
port a most enjoyable time and
say the parade and electric illumi-
nations were beautiful in the ex-
IRENE. The carnival was a mad,
glad affair and Our people did not
fail to insert themselves into the
fun and gladness and obtain full
measure of all the pleasure F"
Much complaint is heard of the
inconvenience and annoyance ex-
perienced. by passengers on leaving
the train at the Brownsville station,
on account of the crowds which
congregate there every night at
train time. An indiscriminate mob
of boot-blacks and hack drivers,
mingled with many idlers of various
ranks and races-some of whom are
there perhaps to meet friends, but
others assuredly through mere idle
curiosity-hampers both the pas
sengers and train officials who are
attempting to leave the train.
There is an ordinance against loaf
ing at the railroad station, and it
is up to the city authorities to see
that it is enforced. No such prac-
tices are permitted in other cities.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1906-11-16
PERSONALS.
Rev. Father Bugnard left today
for San Antonio.

Rev. Father Bugnard left today
for San Antonio.
John D. Hill returned to his
work at Kingsville this morning.
A. c. Morgan, of Washington,
D. c., arrived last night and is
registered at the Miller.
Geo. Stowe returned to his post
of duty on Brazos Island yesterday,
after short visit at home.
T. J. Hooks and c. S. Morton
of Run, Hidalgo county, left this
morning for home after spending
yesterday in town.
H. F. Eisfeldt who has been here
for some time in the interests of
Finck's, cigars of San Antonio,
left this morning.
V. N. Clark of Phoenix, Ariz.
is guest at the Miller, having ar
rived last night from a visit to
points in Hidalgo county.
Louis T. Castaheda, manager of
the Dolores Silver Mining Com
pany of Guadalajara, is here on a
visit to his father, T. Castaneda.
Fred J. Cutting, who is a real
estate dealer and Ben F. Pelts, a
former newspaper man both from
Clinton, ILL.,. are visitors in the
city.
Sam Kramer in company with
Mr.. and Mrs. J B. Norris of Maroa,
H., alter spending a day or two
here looking at the country, left
this morning.
R. R. Early, H. G. Early and
Robt. McArnold of Lexington,
KY, left this morning for home
after spending several days here
inspecting the country.
c. J. McManus, manger of the
immigration department of the St.
L. B. & NJ, left this morning for
his home in Corpus Christi after
spending a couple of days here.
Mrs. J B. Pickett of Hidalgo
county who is visiting her mother
Mrs. Douglas of this city, went
with her children yesterday to visit
relatives at the Point, returning to
town in the afternoon.
J. NJ. Patterson of Chicago and
J. S. Wallace of Ohio, were among
the outgoing passengers this morn
ing after spending several days
here and expressed themselves as
being much pleased with the
country.
J. K. Bratton of Carthage, Mo-,
who has been registered for sew
eral days at the Miller while look
ing over the country, left for home
this morning and on leaving his
said, not good bye,
but hasta luego."
r. ]. Zimmerman, formerly di-
rector of a National bank in Ohio
has been sentenced by the federal
court to two years in the peniten-
tiary and to pay $4,000 fine for
abetting the defaulting bank presi-
dent in einbezzlement.
Messrs. Robt. Lipsey, ]. H.
Terry and A. Anderson of Chicago
who have been here stopping at
the Miller for several days. went
up the branch line of the ST. l..
B. & NJ this morning and expect
to return this evening.