New-York tribune., 1906-06-09
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

postmaster general In his office In
Washington once wrote to the postmaster of some
little station the Tombgbee River: You will
please inform this department how far the Tom
bigbee River runs up" to which the postmaster
answered: II have the honor to inform the depart
ment that the Tombigbee River don't run up at all;
II runs down" In due course of mail came another
communication: ION receipt OF this letter your
appointment postmaster will cease. Mr.. - has
been appointed your successor" To which went
the following reply: "The receipts of this office
during the last have been A 81. and the office
rent more than double that sum; please to kindly
instruct my successor to pay the balance and
oblige.'
Isis points out that whereas the & c1icstes and the
BY the fields of the Empyrean.
On the shores of the jasper sea.
I strolled in far off eeon
In the day of the things to be-
The sky of lapis lazuli.
And the sun in a golden mist
Peeped like an opening rose
From vase of amethyst.
The spheres in the void hung idly.
The winds had sunk to sleep.
And the wings OF eternal silence
Were folded above the deep
There saw lonely golfer.
The last OF his race, methinks.
And he wept because he was bunkered
On the everlasting lnksl
A clergyman. recently returned from the West
according to '"The Springfield Republican" brought
this story: He the guest OF OF the pillars
OF the church in a rural community. Beefsteak was
the piece de resistance. and the guest sawed at 1t
with such energy that it's toughness was perfectly
obvious. Finally the host thought 1t necessary 10
do something his reputation for hospitality.
TITS fine meat" he remarked; mice and tender.
but you see, we have to keep the knives very dull
on account of the children"
An Irresistible;-Ji inside of three days had
kissed every girl on the beach.
Winks-Why the delay?-Judge
What is the difference between the quick and
the dead?" is a riddle that from Oxford
through THE Westminster Gazette" The answer
is adequate and up TO date '"The quick those
who quick at getting out of the way of motor
cars; the dead are those who are not"
See here grumbled the inmate of murderers'
row, 'ain't there a law again crooI and unusual
punishment?''
Yes" answered the warden.
'An amt ter be hanged next weekT'
I'm afraid you are"
Then what dyer mean by sendin' me bunch
of story papers TO read that amt got nOthfn but
continued stories in 'em?'-C1oveland Leader
Kimban Carrow has the reputation of being the
champion absent minded man of Bedford. Mass.
On occasion he called upon his old friend and
family physician. DR.. B. E. Sawyer. After chat
of couple of hours the doctor saw him to the
door and bade him good night saying: Come
again. Family all WELL I suppose?'
my heavensi" exclaimed Mr.. Carrow. that re-
minds me of my errand; my wife is in a ft!''
'I wish there were ten days in the week." sighed
Gladys.
"Why?' asked Grace.
Jack could call oftener then"-Answers
The Bulows and the German royal family are
very friendly terms In the of a con-
versation at Potsdam the Chancellor's wife re-
marked to the Kaiser that her mansion badly
needed cleaning. The Kaiser amused May
help you to clean it?' he asked. and taking the
remark as joke, she assented The next day sew
eral large crates delivered at the princess s
house, and an autograph letter from the Kaiser
saying that he doing his share in the cleaning
duly delivered
New Remedy.-"What ye thukin' about, Ez?"
81 Jest ben wOnderin' what effect Christian Sci
enced have on potato buss."-Brooklyn Ll1e.