davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27
: THE MINNEAPOLIS JOURNAI.
His Ne,., JOB ].

/ 4 & =. ~
Bii1,T IT Ike
bacco vendor Of the young man With
the dinner pail who had Just purchased
two Z. stockyards zephyrs. :, ,==g..9g S g
'aThe' lob amt so worse, /" replied
the young man, slowing the cigars
carefully in his vest pocket, ain
kie saPar s aesiaJ3: on y the job
fe %s so Tia s nayst about as good y
he's a. good man to work fol. 3 49,
likes TO work for him, y said the Young is
man, disconten,tedly. s@1' 7 ain T struck
..sWhat'se the trouble with him /, &C
young man with the dinner pail x / we
been Workin there for a month now
an he. ain t spoke two words te me,
,cept what he has to about the work. y
THAT amt right, - said the tobacco
man sympathetically.. "He ought to
pc !, sociable. There. ain t no need Of a
teller putin on airs. He might take
9alf an hour once in while to set
down an talk over the baseball situa-
tion,' -"
don't know as want him to be
soclable,',. said the young man. 49,
IS that's concerned, I've cot. friends
@ my own. But what I mean is he
don t seem to take no notice 0 me. =
tive him poke in the ribs an tell
R m e eha tobacco up as he b
chunk o. Stag at him or drop a MIG
| Them 1ooEsS ~
/ FEQuit yer kiddin','' said the Young
! man; That ain It, it. I've been q.
! breakin' my neck ever since L took
| the ;lob-doin work 7 aim cot no. call
TO- 90. Honest, meyer done so much
WORK N my life as I've done in the
e lasE month sm Most Of the fellers take It
chance, but I amt never done tn that +
There ain It been any let-up for me.
I've been mixin up The sand am wet.
TIM IT down an sortin out the iapgers
an :. chippin castin s an feedin tho
cnpalos an breakin scrap-just goin
an the n! Z. time, but it don t seem to make
no difference to him whether a guy
self. I guess he's got it in for mo
for some reason or another ~ ln'
| Most likely,' agreed the tobacco
MAJ man.: :. He's probably afraid to fire
you Tor fear he may not be able to get
ANYBODY to take your place. IF he
WASH t he d be pattin you on the back
an glVln> you cigars every time he
came near you. All the same, the wav
1t IS you won It get to sufferin With =
swelled head, which, you might if he
Petted you too much. You take nv tin:
t yust : as long as he doesn't hit you over
the mead with a tamping stick and paws
you your wages you hang on. An keen
right on workin' :; it II be good exercise
Tor your muscles if it amt nothin
else. If he's a fish don It you be a
>, THAT'S all right said the youno
man, but I hate to- see Teller cold,
FLOODED. '''-Chicago News. - =.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27
SELECTING HIS NOSE

A young gentleman, recently engaged
to the. girl he adored, unfortunately
had his. nose broken while playing
cricket. A doctor was hastily sum
moned, but the victim of the accident
would not accept his services until he
had received an answer to a telegram
just dispatched. Two hours later the
reply came. It was from his lady love,
and the young gentleman handed it to
the doctor, saying, resignedly: .:
eco ahead now!''
The reply to the wire was: "Have
nose set Roman; do not like, Creek
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27
SHE TAKES TO WATER LATER

An ardent teetotaler in conversation
with the late Sir Wilfred Lawson, the
famous English prohibitionist, once
found fault with the practice Of
christening vessels with cham
payne before being launched. Sir Will
fred did not altogether agree with him
and said good temperance lesson could
be learned from the practice Z" How
can that. be?' asked his companion.
/" Well,.' replied the witty baronet,
after the first taste Of wine the ship
takes to water and sticks to it ever
after - s,-sf
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27
OF renowned metropolis;
And men two, centuries and half
Trod in the footsteps Of that calf.

OF q renowned metropolis;
And men two centuries and half
Trod in the footsteps Of that calf. ::
Each day hundred thousand rout 1uE !.
Followed this zigzag calf about
And: DER his crooked journey went
The traffic of continent 49,: fo%@G'
hundred thousand men were led s...J- y,
By one calf near three centuries dead.
They followed still his crooked way,
And lost one hundred years a days
For thus such reverence is lent 49,
well-established precedent
moral lesson this might teach
Were ordained and called to preach;:
For men are prone to go it blind
Along the calf-paths of the mind,
And work away from sun to sun =
To do what other men have done;
They follow in the beaten track,
And out and in, and forth and back, =
And still their devious course pursue,
To keep the path that others do.a :. JaE
: They keep theJ path a. sacred groove, Ssr,,s
Along which all their lives they move:
But how the wise old woods gods laugh
Who saw the first primeval calf - no..
All, many things this tale might teach
But am. not ordained to preach.
49,. - Sam Walter Foss.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27
PICKING UP A LIVING

Captain Spencer. of the Salvation
Army asked a cockney convict what he
did for living when he. left prison.
HWell, in spring I does a bit Q pea
picking and in the autumn does bit
o. 'op picking.n EYES, said: the
captain, and what do you do in the
winter9' "Well, mister, / may as well
be honest with yer. In the winter I
does bit pocket picking. Captain
Spencer next asked: And what hap
pens then9U The convict replied:
Why, I comes ere to prison and does
a bit o oakum picking.''
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27
"A KIPPERED sALUTATIoN

A worthy French Protestant pastor
was guest in a Scottish manse. One
morning kippered herrings were served
at breakfast. The French pastor asked
the meaning of kipper. y His host
replied that it meant 81 to preserve. y
On taking his leave next day the
French pastor, wringing his host s
hand, said: May the Lord kipper
you, my good friend. = Spectator.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27
WELL PACKED

Straw covered the pavement in
.front.of certain residence to deaden
the noise Of passing vehicles. "Mis-
ter, - asked a small boy Of passerby,
what's this hay dom out here?3!
my son. said the man, "the stork
has Just brought a baby to the woman
who lives in this house, The boy
looked once more at the Uttered street
and then said, with wide eyes, = Gee. it
must have come well packed. ;,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27
EXPLAINED AT LAST

"Nowadays everyone who travels
seems to see the rock Of Gibraltar. I
wonder what has made it so fashion
able9' ..ys.,.. -
= Perhaps it's because it has q
strait front '-7--;LLippineott, s. NJ, e. /,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27

- believe you all respect me-" said
the teacher of the Juvenile class. els
1t because / am woman9'' .:...,
No, ma'am,' replied little Elmer,
ITS cause we were taught to respect
old age.'' H.. Fs.s..s. =. ,,,r...iS
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27

zPapa-Which do you love better,
Nettie-yourl mama. or mes
t'99Little Nettie-Mama. -. 49,, =: ...t,'
.saPapa-BIt only yesterday you said
YOU loved me better. r.. -. ~ sT
little Nett e-.Yes; but 1--we. decided
It was. best for u.s. women Ito stick To-:
ther-Chicago News.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27
UNABLE TO. STATE

Is your wife "a blonde or bru-
netteg''
6 Cant say. She Is been at the hair
dresser's for the last hour.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

Teacher-Now, Tommy, can you tell
me what hypocrite is? ss00
Small Tommy-Yes, ma 'am. It's a
FELLOW who says he loves his teacher.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27

Small Charlie. had been given !. his
usual bowl Of bread and milk. e.. i, -,
/ <S1'This milk is warm, mama;', pro-
tested the little fellow ,@''I guess the
milkman made a mistake and put in
hot water instead of cold.O /. ..,.-.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27
misunderstood

Charley Litewate-Are you fond Of
puppies, Miss Tandem g.
Miss Tandep iss oqsud dent
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27

."What day of de month is dis,
Hinky9HI u -
IT don't know. Wot you want to
know fer9'' -.
Oh, muffin; I jest wanted ter make
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27
~~~.
With the Long Bolv
-"Eye nature. walks folly as nes"

William
Law Elections 5s3tXS
spelbndng NETT to
/ advice. 3
don't Wiie,
a circulation about $685.
your
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27

GOVERNOR
noticed that the
sometimes
th of candidates will vote
h - .-
sounded
fight in the postofice =. So ,,.t
conservative from New York that
of MI. Hearst's election, take
gid by the that the frogs and toad
mile Central laid
the bolts building All the
building
line their If anything
that will the hoehands and chill the steel Of all left outdoors
GsaGeau
Fishbau-Au
table, sticking
utteing
idiotc
consulted, would
Cckine''
cke
OF late
cickts
thin and had appt refusing be tempted and
satisfied
thing
Cricketne containing
"A R..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-27

LOT your New York SUNDAY SneeI CnaI
you are getting out a good paper neces.
sarily.'' s1lss
go, I don It, don It IT." said William.
stNot at all. People don't diserim.
<inate in what they read. n
20 they, don to-. &
! Not in the least,
=, tPerhaps you think you could get
%out "a, better paper"
81 certainly do. -
|tAnd you think the people would
take itq'' -
] "Of.. that I am not so sure. As ]
said, people sometimes prefer something
not Jelly correct. ar,,,
! "You, arels right there, A. said Mr..
Hearst. II have SO far avoided the
Jelly correct and splendidly null and
have printed something that palpitates.
I have hammered, for instance, on the
fact that Mr.. Baer has testified that
anthracite coal costs at the mine from
$3.50 to. So. It is carried from the
mine to New York for about 81 ton,
and at that price the railroads, working
with the mine operators, make big
profit. But when you ask your coal
dealer what he is compelled to pay by
the trust for his coal, he will tell you
that the trust makes it impossible for
him to sell it for less than $3.50 ton.
The people are SO interested in facts
like this that they take my paper.'
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1906-03-09
From Our Exchanges.
Brooklyn Ea ole.

The Gov. is being nagged to
make an appointment of an insur-
ance superintendent to succeed Mr..
Hendricks whose term has eX-
pired. The urgency is born of a
desire, strongly held in certain
quarters to push Mr.. Hendricks
out of office. The Gov. delay in
making the appointment, how
ever, does not turn upon the
question whether Mr.. Hendricks
should or should not be retained
in office. 1t IS generally under
stood that Mr.. Hendricks does not
want another term. That the
Gov. desires to retain Mr.. Hen
drick is nowhere apparent in any
of his public utteranCes. That
the Gov. will act when the proper
time comes is certain. The prop
er time is not now. The office
of the Superintendent of IuSur-
auce is about to be reOrganized.
New duties of supervision and
responsibility are sought to be
imposed, and old duties broaden
ed and defined. by the reCommen-
dations of the Armstrong Com
m1ttee. Just what the duties and
obligations of that official will be
will not be known until the legiS-
lature shall have acted on the
recommendations. Until the Gov.
knows what those duties and OBJ
legations will be he cannot select
the proper person to discharge
them. There are hosts of cam
didates for the office. But it can
be safely assumed that the person
who is willing to shoulder duties
and assume responsibilities with
out knowing what they are to be
is the very person who should not
be appointed. The person who
first desires to measure the duties
he must undertake and to weigh
the responsibilities he must as
sumo before he accepts them is
the man, all other things being
equal, who can he trusted to a
conscientious discharge of them.
In this time of transition the
Governor should be freed from
nagg1ng to appoint.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1906-03-09

of a nearer location to the park
patrons using the Boston & Maine
system is obvious.
If one enters Wonderland from
Walnut Ave-, he passes through
the Administration Building, now
practically finished, as to its out
side architectural appearance. 1t
has four magnificent dOmes and
towers similar in design to those
on the World Building in New
York City. Within this enclOs-
ure are to be the executive offices
of the president, general manager
treasurer, secretary and press
representative, together with the
cashiers office and the General
Information Bureau. Passing
through the Administration
Building, you get even now, three
months before the opening of
Wonderland, a fair idea of it's
munificence, in perspective. On
the opposite side from the Ad-
ministratiOn Building rises the
Oriental Enclosure, with its tap
ering minarets and Moorish tow
ers, and Immediately to the left
of it, the dance hall and restau-
rant building, in itself an impOs-
ing structure, with frontage of
125 feet and depth of 200 feet.
Adjoining this is He'll Gate, one
of the most striking and pictur-
esque features of Wonderland.
The building is 45 feet high and
1902 feet wide. AS the name i'm
plies, so He'll Gate itself is the
underworld through which the
visitor passes in a boat, which
makes a subterranean dive under
"a gigantic whirlpool, traversing
"a strange, weird and wonderful
region, where shadOwy forms APP
pear and disappear in Il vague,
mysterious and ghostlike man
ner At COney Island last sea
son He'll Gate was accounted the
greatest novelty and most pOpu-
lar of all the Dreamland attrac
lions. On a par with He'll Gate,
as prime amusements at Won
derland, are Fire and Flames,
the Scenic Railway and Shoot
the Chutes. Fire and Flames
signifies cOnflagratiOn in a
city square, with every attending
characteristic, including the rush
and clamOr of the fire depart
ment, the tumult of the pOpulace
and the thrilling rescues by the
firemen of human life. This at
traction alone will cost $4,000,
and will employ about 300 PEG
pie. The cost of the Scenic Rail
way will be $4,000, and Shoot
the Chutes, $4,000. These
chutes were used at the st.
Louis Exposition and are the
largest ever built. Other attrac
tons at Wonderland will be the
Wild West Show, japanese Vii
lage, Lagoon and launch course,
Loves Rough Journey, the Fa-
tai Wedding, Outdoor Circus,
Childrens Theatre, Infants Crech !
Ga free nursery where mothers
may leave their babies while they |
are enjoying Wonder
land), Emergency Hospital and
Infant IncubatOrs. This last is
a strictly scientific and humani-
tartan institution. Wonderland |
will be illuminated by 100000 |
electric lights, exclusive of the
arc lights and searchlights. The |
admission fee will be ten cents,
for which unequaled and super
lative entertainment is assured.
Just outside of the park, front
ing on Walnut Avenue, there will |
be an immense garage for the !
of automobiles. |
- Yo,,r Wedd;no Cards |
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1906-03-09

law was passed.
"Do not lose your right to vote
in caucus but file your intent on
as the law requires.
Republican State Committee of
Vermont.
"Alfred E. Watson,
Secretary.
"Thad M. Chapman,
"Chairman".
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1906-03-09
Republicans Warned.

The Republican state committee
has issued the following circular
letter to members of town COM
mittees:
"You are earnestly reminded
that No. ?, of the Acts of 1904
requires every voter who desires
to participate in a political cau-
Gus to file a certificate of his po-
litical preference at the time he
makes his tax inventory.
THE Republican state commit
tee is exceedingly anxious that
every Republican shall fill out
and sign this certificate which
will be furnished with every tax
inventory.
under the law, five per cent
of the voters of town by petition
can require the use of a check
list at the party caucuses.
Every voter should see to 1t
that he can vote in CAUCUS if he
so desires.
eve feel that it is the duty Of
the Republican state, county, and
town committee to see to it that
every Republican voter should
register and therefore not be dis
franchised at the caucus of the
party.
"Will you not do everything
that you can to get a full regis
tration of the voters of our town
this coming April? The voters
should understand that it is pos
sible for five per cent of the voters
of town to disfranChise in eau
Gus, all who have not made out
the certificate above referred to.
"The state committee sends
you posters which you are re-
uuested to post where they will
be seen by all tie voters, and sug-
gests that some of them be posted
at the place of holding your an
nual March meeting, so that the
attention of every Republican
voter shall be called to the matter.
"Thad NJ. Chapman,
chairman.
ALFRED E. Watson,
"SeCretary".
The posters sent out reads as
follows:
ITO Republican Voters.
"Your attention is called to
No. ? of the Acts of 1904, Yer
mont legislature, which requires
that every person qualified to vote
in freeman's meeting who desires
to participate in any political
caucus shall file a certificate of
intention at the time of fling his
inventory in April of each cleo
ton year.
The certificate to be signed is
in form as follows:
ct is my intention to act and
vote with the---party at the
coming election. Signed
eff five per cent of the voters
of a town petition for the use OF
the caucus check list no one can
participate in any party caucus
who has not filed such certificate
of intention.
"It is necessary for the good
government of the state and for
the interests of the party that
the registration of Republican
voters be full and complete.
eve urge upon ever Republican
voter the necessity of filling his
certificate. A blank form will
accompany your tax inventory.
Do not fail to fill it out and sign
it. "It does not CONT you to any
candidate of a caucus and does
not bind you to vote for any par
ticular person at the Sept. cleo
ton. !
"Both Republican and Demo-
cratic platforms at the last cleo
ton declared in favor of a caucus
law and as a result thereof said
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1906-03-09

~ know you'll stick to me, ,
said Number 2. "I'm more tC
you than Sister Sarah ever could
be. She amt just your style
"We'll see about that" grOan
ed Sister Sarah, inaudibly.
AS soon as she was able to be
about the house, she began to
work out her plan. She found a
gOOd-lOOking young woman who
was not averse to being sealed to
Brother John as Number 3.
Number 2 was not a very good
cook; and the real wife knew the
divided husbands weakness for
certain dishes. SO she began to
get up nice dinners for him, and
when he came he always met the
young woman who was in the
plot.
In a few weeks he was again
ready for the endowment house.
After the sealing" Sister Sarah
invited the bride and groom to
her house to dinner, and asked
also Number ? to- come over with
her two babies. When Number
, was introduced to Brother
Johns third wife her agony was
terrible. Then the real wife
glutted her revenge by repeating
what she had heard them say a.
bout her. II don't blame you
for feeling bad; but Brother John
must live his religion, and you're
not just his style"
Oh, what Il demOniac spirit
was in all that. Certainly the
entire plot was cOncocted in the
Pit of Woe. TO think of child
rem being born into such abodes
of revenge and evil passions.
One pair of people who were
very fond of each other found out
about polygamy after they came
to Utah, and they pledged each
other that no matter what hap
pened, they would be true to their
marriage vows. The man kept
his pledge for a while, but when
he found out that a plot was on
foot to kill his wife, if she stood
in the way of his living his reIi-
giOn by taking another woman,
he told her, and they finally a
greed to yield to the hierarchy.
They had invested all their mon
ey in Utah, and they could not
get away. She went with them
to the endowment house, with a
face as white as death. When
the last amen" was said, and
the deed of darkness was done,
she fell to the floor without moan
or cry, in hard, cold agony.
They brought her back to con
seriousness, but as soon as she re-
called what had happened, she
fell again into a dead faint, till
it seemed quite hopeless to try
to bring her back to life. She
lived, however, as many another
has done, carrying about "a lump
ish, leaden, aching thing in place
of a heart"
90, yes" said one of those de-
serted wives, she gave me this
house and enough to live on; but
what is that in exchange for him?
I'd rather have the old days back,
with my own husband, all my
own, than the wealth of the whole
world without him. If he had
died, | could have borne it, hard
as it would have been; but this
living death-it eats the heart
out of me-"
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1906-03-09

Don't frOwn-lOok pleasant. If you
are suffering from indigestion or sour
stomach, take KodOl Dyspepsia Cure.
Hon. Jake Moore, of Atlanta, Ga,
says: II suffered more than 20 years
with Indigestion. a friend recon-
mended Kodol. 1t relieved me in one
day and now l enjoy better health
than for many years" Kodol digests
what you eat, relieves sour stomach,
gas on stomach, belching, etc. Sold
by ]. NJ. Taylor.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1906-03-09

The best safeguard against head
ache, constipation and liver troubles
is DeWitt's Little Early Risers. Keep
a vial Of these famous little pills in
the house and take a dose at bed
time when you feel that the stomach
and bowels need cleansing. They
don't grippe. Sold by ]. NJ. Taylor.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1906-03-09

Cot Your Wedding Cards
OSI at the Opinion Office
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1906-03-09

The Washington Star has the
following editorial on Mr.. WI.
which isssinteresting showing how
China's great men stand on
China'S development.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1906-03-09

dollars where they greatest value
savings You rthankme for opportunity.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1906-09-06
and assisting the sisters In every way
possible, one OF the knights accom-
panying them AS far as St.aPau1.s ~

and assisting the sisters In every way
possible, one OF the knights accom-
panying them as far as st. Paul.
IN The remains arrived S$in Princeton
Saturday, Aug. "a, at 1880 q. M and
funeral services were held at the
house Sunday afternoon at 2:30,
Beauseant Lodge knights of Pythias
being In charge Rev. W. W. Horn
of the English Lutheran church de-
livering the final discourse, and the
choir of the M. e. church rendering
beautiful vocal selections. "a large
number Of sympathizing friends and
neighbors gathered at the house to
pay their last tribute of respect to
the deceased; one whom they had
learned to love, for he had possessed
an unusually sunny disposition and
he made and held friends wherever
he happened to he. Burial was In
Oakland cemetery 4 ,-aGsi:. 4, H. tas
The following card of thanks has
been received from Princeton, Ill:
To the many friends in Bismarck,
who, by their sympathy and many
kindnesses, shared our burdens and
SORROWS of the past week, we would
express our sincere gratitude. We de-
sire to especially thank the members
of ST. Elmo Lodge, knights Of Pythias.
Mrs. Louise Larson and Family.