davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1906-07-13
PADDOCK'S
East of Depot.
Cured Of Brisht's Disease.

Mr.. Robert o. Burke. Elnora, N.
Y, writes: Before 1 started to use
Foley's Kidney Cure had to get up
from 12 to 20 times night. and l was
all bloated up with dropsy and my
eyesight was so impaired l could
scarcely see one of my family across
the room. l had given up hope of
living, when friend recommended
Foley's Kidney Cure. One so cent
bottle worked wonders and before l
had taken the third bottle the dropsy
had gone, as we'll as all other symp-
toms of Bright's disease" For sale
by II. A. Rotermund.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1906-07-13
| Buy and Self Real Estate
HOW is THIS

No 4s7 so acres and 10 meadow with good
ditch and bench land seeded to grain large
house barn sheds stock and all necessary outbudng
horses hack and wagon OF harness. 21 head OF stock brood
and pigs poultry farming implements consisting Of
roLe no harrow and other small oos mower and rake
most new about lumber together with household goods
s25OO 90 takes the outfit Good for 80 days only
No 494 24O Good three room house small barn. moke
hse and al other out buildings fenced 20 cult
vation Small orchard Plenty of good timber Living water.
$500 per
Yours for bargains
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1906-07-13

of troubles to contend with, spring
from torpid liver and blockaded
bowels, unless you awaken them to
their proper action with DR.. Kings
New Life Pills; the pleasantest and
most effective cure for Constipation.
They prevent Appendicitis and tone
up the system. POO at all drug stores
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1906-07-13
To Cur. a Co,d In One Day

Take LAXATIVE BRoMo Quin.
Inc Tablets. Druggists refund money
IL il fails to cure. L. W. GROVES
signature is on each box. ESQ.
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1906-07-13

Representative Littlefield of Maine
was introduced to man from Pitts.
burg, says the Saturday Evening
Post.
II made some speeches out in your
town once" said Littlefeld.
"Yes," said the Pittsburg man,
~ ran for office that year and was
beaten by 7OO0
Heavens" exclaimed Little6el
81 am not usually so fatal as that.
l spoke Tor Dave Mercer out in Omaha
in 1900 and they didn't beat him until
1902"
Rogue River courier. (Grants Pass, Or.) 1886-1927, 1906-07-13

Fine wedding stationery at the
Courier Office.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21

wealth, and that too often tasteless
With all due admiration for my brill
liant American cousins, and without
dlscourtesy toward the Great Repub-
lie, we may observe that the accounts
of the vulgar displays of American
woman at certain functions have taken
away the breath of every European
reader. This be it said, with the
knowledge that the European people
have been often unfairly prejudiced by
the mendaclOus Vulgarity of the Amer
lean reporters. A ludicrous example
of this was the description of a Young
American gentleman, whose form an
peared at his nuptials in Scotland kilt
ed and covered with gems to the value
of $4,000, and this a writer's re-
Venge for exclusion from the ceremony.
a Cure Lies in Individualism.
To the second question-wil not the
invasion of an ehete feudauty by
wealth effect its own cure 2-Yes.
when through the length and breadth
of the world. all classes not only learn
to realize themselves as individuals but
acquire the art of impressing their per
sOnality with tact. The want of this
individual aristocracy or Independence
i'm the leisured classes. more especially
jim the middle class, causes an aggrava-
tion of Philistinism, on the one hand
and, en- the other the hideous trav-
esty of grandeur under discussion a
traVesty acting as a cOgwheel in the
clock of the century.
our perception of values. middle
distance, light and shade, are obscured
as long as the "qu-en-dira ton" dornf-
mates US. Any departure from cOnvep-
tiOnal laws, the most asinine uecessi-
tates a certain Independence of status.
For instance, an absolute freedom of
suObbishuess comes from the certainty
that our position is assured There
fore. to the High Elves" who have
the privilege of status, the born aristo-
Gratis, we look fer assertion of per
sonal individuality, and the worlds de
liTerance from the darkness of Phflis-
tinism and the thralldom of conven-
tional snobbery. We who individually
admire polished manners. let us keen
them. If we have not the heart and
brain which alone prompt true man
ners. let us not condemn those who at
least adopt their formula, and thereby
make life less hideOus. Do we object
70 putting our feet on the dining table
or to pouring champagne cup on our
hosts head? We do not do ii. 10
we believe in ghosts2 We say so? yVhv
skulk beneath the table or behind the
door Whom are we afraid of We
are ghosts ourselves.
Lessons from the MONKEYS.
The leisured class in whom the aris-
tocratiC traditions are absent viii have
assurance i'm themselves directly they
realize their own dignity as human be-
ings. This assurance we ind in me
artistic clique and the world of Gull
ture. In his condemnation Of the
Ieisured social class the author of The
Soul of London SAYS. "Circumscrfhed
and walled in; It circumscrfbes itself
too. 1t is. as it were. a deer park
within London. a geological garden
within the ring" But If we are as
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21

say nowhere. Simon said heads off, an
they was off. Now everybody's got
sOmethin' to say everywhere. Our old
friend. VoX Popuf, says off with the
gold top pieces, an they're pretty near
off already. That's the way things goes.
I used to have fixed notions about this
business of expansion. I always figured
out that there wasn't nothin' in hOldin'
foreign territory, an that there WASH [
no use for keepin' dependencies, an SO
on l never could see no use for EN-.
But I've got some moo ideas since Billy
Bryant blowed into the PHILIPPINES. It's
been a revelation. What's more it's been
a blessin'. That is. it's been a blessin
to the people of these United States, an.
that's all there is that's worth hgurln
on. A prophet amt no good in his own
country. look at Boston Tommy. He's
been prophesyin' for twelve months that
the market was goin to drop so far
that it would be able to shake hands
with Mccall. The facts is it's been
pushed up so far that you can't reach
it with a Fifth avenoo handshake that
they have for guys that wants to break
into the market now. 1t was doped out
by the handShakers' union. You don't
get the password OF the grip till you're
ready with the initiation fee. Then
they'll pass it out. An they'll pass you
in. OF course you'll get passed out
after you set passed in, but they'll pass
you in first. just to show that there's
no III IC6lln L he bAiiy pdSS6S tllCS IL
a little bit shy on these days Is rail-
road passes, an that won't last long
after the legislature gets into workin'
order. When it gets into workin' order
it'll work the railroads just as well as
it'll work the gas companies.
Now all of these things goes to show
that if a guy wants to stand ace high
in the prophet business he's got to get
away from home. At home the peo-
pie is on to him They're wise. The
human frame is elastic only to a Ger
tain extent. An when that's put to the
test there's nothin more dom. Any
further attempt to force in hot air re-
suits in an explosion. An it's when
this point is reached that the prophet
bunch has to set sail That's where
colonies an dependencies comes in.
If they're inclined to be highfalutin' or
sassy you sick a few prophets on EN-.
1t serves a double purpose 1t teaches
them lesson, an gives the home folk
chance to celebrate Thanksgivin'
with a reasonably clear conscience
The people of the colonies usually
comes to their senses when the proph-
cts blows in. If they don't you estab-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21

hsh civil service commission.
Regard1ns Nebraska Billy, / want to
tell you that he's havin' great time.
Ihere is advices from the front that
says SO. Why it wasn't over a couple
of weeks ago that he callipped out
three thousand words shown where
the great men of the country was the
guys that never landed. an there
wasn't a single Filipino present that
said rats. They didn't know what rats
was Amt that an advantage Why,
OF course. Then look at the fine time
he had with Amelia Aguinaldo. That's
you that when Amelia an Billy gets
together you've got a pair to draw to.
Bromo an Settler. They're a sizziin
all the time. You can't beat EN-.
They've christened Aguinaldo Measles
because he's always breakin' out, an
Bills hairs wore off at the top because
he's always buttin' in. Where the two
of EN- is in combination there amt
nothin' can stop 'em. They've got you
comm an goin'. Didn't they prove it
at the dinner they held2 Pass the
bolos. Amelia sit at the right. Afne-
las ward man was at the left, an Billy
in the center. Can you beat that?-
the handsomest picture you ever see
outside of a photograph of Grover
Cleveland passin' on rebates.
An speakin' of Grover, he WASH t
forgot when they started in on the
speeehmakin' When Billy rose to
tell 'em the historic story of how it
happened, an to show 'em that all
good citizens should keep on battlin'
for the right I'm told he rose to
heights. LAS that sterlin' statesman,
my very good friend Grover Cleve-
land. said onct, There is no calam-
ity like supine submission to
wrong" says Billy. Everybody start
ed in to applaud, but they stopped
short because they hadn't quite fig
ured out what it was all about. They
hadn't been used to these bursts OF
oratory, an they was slow to follow
the line of conversation till Amelia
explains it to EN-. MY friends.
says Amelia. ''if it wasn't that it was
my friend Bryant that gave credit for
the quotation, I should have said il
was his original dope. Whenever
sentences like these falls from the lips
of a statesman you can bet your last
loin cloth that he's bird. There Is
no calamity like a supine submission
to wrong Think of it. My friend
Bryant will tell you that a. supine sub
mission to wrong is where you gel
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21

often bought for acquisitions sake, be-
cause the craftsman is already on the
ladder of fame. yet Indirectly those
buyers are arts benefactors. What
we may we'll deplOre is the neglect of
art culture throughout all the classes,
especially among those privileged by
fortune to be among arts most gener-
GUS patrons. We're it not for absence
of cult in many of the f'nouveaux
riches there would be less disastrous
poverty and starvation among humble
but deserving geniuses. architects,
painters, musicians sculptors. actors,
the nOtoriety and start on the road
to fame in these days of social adyer-
tisemeut depending in a great measure
on the notice of the rich man or wO-
man of fashion Were the worship of
mammon less frantic less aggressive,
beauty would have more votaries, and
time saved for that contemplative at
titude of mind which is in harmony
with high things. Art is a healer
Art and joy go together" 1t is false
to say that to the poor countryman
(become town labOrer) a landscape by
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21
The handsomest picture you ever see.

pushed in the soup an then pine
about it quietly instead of gettin' up
an raisin blazes. He knows. An
you ought to know. An that's why
I'm tellin' you. There's an old sayin'
that everybody works but father, an
want to tell you that if we've got to
have freedom an a CONSTRUCTION, if
we've got to have a land of liberty to
live in, everybody's got to work in
cludin' father, an includin' my friend
Billy an me. We've all got to have
jobs What's government jobs?
Nothin. Then the crowd bursts out
an clinks their glasses on their nose
rings. I'm told there never was no
such demonstration since the first
consignment of embalned beef landed
down at Chiekamauga. see letter
from Billy where he told Of it. OF
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21

your white alley. OF course. the sug-
gestion was made with good heart It
just sprung from the hearts of the
common people. They didn't know that
it would be simply impossible for me
to stay here an attend to the job. They
didn't know that the people in our own
grand country are just dyin' to have
me back, especially in MOO York. They
don't understand these close personal
ties Why, I wouldn't throw the Uni
ted States down for ali the coin in the
country, an there's a few pennies bein'
picked up here, at that. find quite
a few American patriots that has set
tied down in Manila ready to teach
our moo countrymen the proper way to
figure up balance sheet.
The guy that had the letter wouldn't
let me see no more OF It. He said that
Ryan an Hartman an all the rest Of
'em had tipped him off that there was
nothin' in passin' out private cores
pondence for general inspection. But
I'll tell you, he says, Bryant has
great move on Him an Amelia mas the
game down fine. Amelia is goln' to cir
culate among the people an line EN-
up for a phoney revolution. After the
papers has told how things is an that
the whole country's in uprOar an strife
Bryant butts in an holds a few pour
parlers with Amelia. Amelia explains
that the people is determined on tree-
dom. Bryant says it must never be.
How are you goin' to stop emf says
Amelia. Then he breaks out an calls
off the revolution, an Billy cables over
Just one word-Saved.
Mind you, this programme amt mine.
I'm just handin' it out to you as It was
handed out to me. I amt vouchin' for
nothin' that I don't know myself The
only thing III vouch for is that Bill'll
ocme home again very soon. He's been
away some time now, an if nothin' else
brings him back he'll come if it's just
to shake his old friend Henry Water
son by the hand.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21
TELLS HER AGE.
Yvette GuiIbert Confesses to Having
Lived 81 Years on the Earth.

Paris, Jan. 2O.-There is a very in
teresting and, at the same time, char
letter from Nine. Yvette Gull
bert in the Figaro. It has been in
spired by law report written by NJ.
Henri Varennes, who made reference
to the heroic days of Montmartre and
the Moulin Rouge. In this report a
hyperbolical phrase concerning Yvette
was used. She TODD it seriously, and
wrote the following letter: you
speak of the Moulin Rouge and of
Yvette Gui1bert making her appear
ance there, etc, etc, and you add: To
recall these things, one has the air Of
a gentleman who speaks Of the first
performance of the "Grande Duchesse"
or of Mabillel' Why that, dear sir ?
Were you born at the time of Mabille
and of the first performance of the
celebrated operetta2 I was not. Then
why so generously share with me the
numerous years that you feel weigh
ing upon your head? I decline-deli-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21
LESSON TIME HuMOR-
Hundreds OF Examples Collected and
Printed in a Magazine.

London, Jan. 20.-Schoolroom hum
or is illustrated by hundreds of quaint
examples, collected by DR.. MacNamara
in the Christmas number of the
"Schoolmaster.' What is a WidoW2''
asked the teacher. please, ma'am. a
woman what marries the lodger," an
swered a little girl. In an essay on
Dreams" a boy who had a great
dread of arithmetic. related an awful
personal experience in which he
dreamed he was in Heaven where his
teacher kept calling out: mo sums
right, stand upl' Manners were de-
fined bv one budding genius as a very
good thing when you are trying Of a
situation" To the poser, ssWhy is a
motor car called she ?" a girl an
swered, Because 1t is driven by
man." A well-bearded school-master.
in an observation lesson on a cat. said:
Every limb or organ is given it for a
particular purpose, and so it is with all
Gods reatureS-Inyself. for instance.
proper use?" A solitary hand went up.
and the owner exclaimed: your
whiskers, sirt" RAIN wrote one
smart boy in a composition exercise.
comes down from heaven on the just
and the unjust, but mostly upon the
just, because the unjust have borrowed
the umbrellas of the just and have for
gotten to return them" Scripture was
ludicrously distorted by a small Lon
doner, who wrote: 1.-THE Fareses was
a very mingy, measly lot. One day one
of them gave our Lord a penny. and
our Lord held it out in his hand and
looked at it with scorn, and said.
Whose subscription is this But
the children are not the only uucon-
sciOus humOrists. as the following eN-
ampIes of letters written to teachers
show: 'tSir. T must strictly forbid you
to punish Thos. again for anything he
does, as we never do so ourselves ex-
cent in self-defense. Yours truly
And again: please excuse Eliza
Brown as her mother is i'll with her
Ifather.s consent. j.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21

cately-this New Y Tears gift. was %
years of age at the time you refer to-
fourteen years ago. Oller, manager of
the Moulin with ZidIer, will tell you
that it was between 1890-91 when 1
was his pensioner. But the 'Grande
Duchesse,' dear sir Mabillei That
goes back to my mother, I know we'll
enough that having sung during the
winters and summers (Champs Ely
sees) it is concluded that the two sea-
sons make two years. But if this
easy accumulation of years increases
the value of a cathedral or passes I'M
noticed over the heads of Heloise and
Abelard. it is not the same with regard
to the red wig of Yvette. You under
stand? When I celebrate my fortieth
birthday, you will be invited to the
banquet. Meanwhile do not increase
my time already lived. You would
shorten. as a song of the 18th century
says. that which remains to me"
And here is the Figaro's charming
compliment to the divette: she has
told her age No one will believe it.
It is sufficient to see and hear Yvette
to be sure that her appearance at the
Moulin Rouge does not date Ia years
ago, but yesterday"
Predictions for Next Year.
London, Ian. 2O.-The year 1906 will
be a memorable one if the predictions
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21
STEALING A MAIL VAN.
Letters Containing $500 Abstracted
and T2ified of Contents.

ana Atl0eO OF OOuIeTllS-
Marseilles. Jan. 2O.-A mail van.
containing twenty-six sacks OF letters,
has Just been stolen by thieves at Mar
settles. The van had collected the LETT
ters in various districts of the city, and
was proceeding to another quarter
when. at a street corner, dozen men,
armed with revolvers, appeared Some
of the men surrounded the van Two
seized the horses bride. while two
others mounted to the seat. and knock
ed the driver to the ground After
half killing him the thieves drove on
A few minutes later passersby picked
up the driver. and took him into a
drug store, where he regained con-
seriousness. His condition was 50 grave
that he had to be conveyed to the hos
pital. Next morning. on the proprie-
tor of a saloon in the Rue d'Arene
opening her bar. she noticed the mail
bag standing on a piece Of waste
ground. She informed the police, who
found that the van contained a NUM-
Der of sacks filled with letters. But
those letters containing money orders,
valued at over $500, had been taken
away.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21

London, Jan. 20.-An umbrella big
enough to cover a dozen persons be
longs to the church of st. Peter. Man
croft, Norwich. It is used on wet days
for wedding parties. so that the bride
and bridegroom, the bridesmaids. and
guests may not get their smart dresses
spoiled when walking from the church
door to the carriages. It is also used
by the clergy al funerals when the
service has to be held at the graveside
in pouring rain. That it is useful is
obvious. and it is rather remarkable
that many other churches do not pos
sess such an article as a part of the
ordinary church furniture.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21

of "Old Moore" are fulfilled. Among
the prophecies are these: january
series of railway and shipping disas-
ters. ebruary-Disasters to vessels
Of war and large floating city" March
Reduction in income tax; tax on
'two-wheeled foot exercisers,'' presum-
ably bicycles. April-Removal OF pro-
fessiona1 beggars from the Streets
prominent statesman to die after
"checkered and somewhat stormy life
May=World's Peace Congress; royal
parsonage to die. August-Wo rld-wids
philanthropist to die. September
Home Rule for England, ireland and
Scotland November-Socia1 rr-
heaval in Turkey. Decem ber-New
newspaper, which viii absorb four de-
reict ones.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21
What Is Wrong With Society?

those lost in "a wilderness of mon
keys we see even the apes getting on
we see eternal progression.
The protest for plain living-under-
stood, of course=in its relative bear
ings-is a protest not against those
who have sufficiently considered and
measured their seasOnable require
meuts, but against unseemly ostenta-
ton and recklessness. In the luxur-
ious hospitality of the rich man, his
entertainments of paid artists, his
motors, his sumptuous table for those
who rank cookery as the first of the
proportion of the less prosperous
among the cultivated class. be they his
acquaintances or his sympathetic
friends The alarmists who cry "F'ie
upon the High Elves tablet might
compare the most eXtravagant of mod
ern excuses to the feast devOured by
the guests of the Sixth Edward on the
enforcement banquet ia 1880 of one
of the archbishops of York, where the
nineteenth item in a menu of sixty
courses was zane poeok in ane sottel-
tie" Chat is to say, a peacock unrecog-
nizably disguised).
Art and American AIiIliOnaires.
The exaggeration of simplicity
among the rich classes would bring
dire results to the world of art The
fine arts would have mparatively no
market but for the American and
South African millionaire, for it is I'M
deniable that the finest art treasures
have found market principally
among the American new rich-not to
speak of their endowments to art
academies If great works are more
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21

Millet, Of a flock of sheep on a green
hillside viii to him only represent
of Whistler must represent fog, moth
ing more. If the awakening influence
be only one Of association it is never
theless a soul-awakening, revealing
however obscurely, sense of the
world beyond
The Legitimate Extravagances.
We are already with Arrive who
would live for it. We deplore the loss
OF the romantic element in everything
The cult of beauty is the only cult
which can redeem the world from hid
eousness rampant and triumphant
everyw here-the shake of the gew-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21

course, he's a modest sort of guy, so
there's no doubt he's hid the real
facts, but even he owns up that every
Filipyno there acknowledged he was
the real cheese. Between you an
a success that they had me goin'-
There was some whisperin's about
rl1nnin' me for Emperor an Amelia for
Prime Minister, but shooed EN- of
You must support the administration,
saws: one of these days you may be
the administration. an If that ever
comes of you'd like to have a show for
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-21

The first question suggests the an
have vuIgarized society ive-dollarized
the world. The enormous increase OF
wealth, especially in America, has Inn
PEELED the wealthy people to assert
themselves by the only means at their
command, namely, a display Of their