The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-03-10
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He-May l tender you some chicken
she-I wish you would. It's too tough
to eat the way it is !-Louisyille Cour.
ier-Journal.
Customer-Have you the last Liter.
airy Digest? Clerk-I'm sorry, but the
last copy has been sold. Will What to
Eat do?-Ex.
Mamma-Come now, Willie, you
must have your neck washed. Willie
Aw, sayl Who invented neckwashin'
anyhow Eek.
Ada-Timid, isn't he? May-Aw.
fully. He's SO afraid that she'll say
no that he won't give her a chance to
say yes.-Brooklyn Life.
Madam-Be sure to put plenty OF
nuts In the cake. Cook-I'I crack no
more nuts to-day. My jaw hurts me
already.-Harper's Bazaar.
Il know a man that has never been
kissed in his life," said he. well,
said she, unsympathetically, Its his
own fault."-Detroit Free Press.
DO you-er-ever tell fibs?" asked
the lady who had advertised for a maid.
Not for myself, ma'am," answered the
applicant; ''only for the missus. Tit.
Bits.
| Weary W1llie-I had good Job once,
but was forced to resign. Mrs. Hand.
outflow was that? Weary Willie
Why, because de boss wouldn't fire me.
Judge.
You're such a wretched writer it's a
wonder you wouldn't get typewriting
machine" II would, only that would
show what miserable speller l am"
philadelphia Press.
why, Johnny, am ashamed of you.
How could you take little Ethel's half
Of the apple away from herr" "'Cause,
ma, l amt forgot what you told me-
to always take sisters part"
His family felt very much distress
ed about his going on the stage, did
they not" YES" answered Miss Cay
enne, but not until after they had
seen him act."-Washington Star.
Her friend-Yes, my ancestors moved
In the best colonial circles. They were
Tories, you know. The colonial dame
Yes2 Then, l dare say, my ancestors
helped to keep them moving-Ex.
Mary Ann-I've come to tell you,
mum, that tn gasoline stove has gone
out Mistress light it again.
Mary Ami can't. Sure it went out
through tn roof Cleveland Leader.
Mr.. Goodthing-How does your SIS
ter like the engagement ring l gave
her? Her Young Brother-Well, it's
little too small She has a hard time
getting 1t of when the other fellows
call.
Very well. sir" said DR.. Quack, at
ter his quarrel with the undertaken,
"In make you sorry for this p What
are you going to do?' asked the under
taker; retire from practice."-Tit-
Bits.
Haskell don't object SO much to
Fanny kissing her dog, but l prefer
her to kiss me before, and not after.
Wasper-I know, but don't you think
that the dog has his preference, too?-
Answers.
Friend-Now that you have made
millions, what will you do? Old Bull
lion-I shall retire and amuse myself
telling people what a burden wealth Is
and how happy was when was poor.
Tit Bits.
Bacon-Did you ever get anything on
the installment system? Egbert-Yes;
got my household that way. First,
I got my wife, then her father and
mother, and now I'm getting her broth
ers and sisters Answers.
Chemist Ito poor woman)-You must
take this medicine three times a day
after meals. Patient-But, sir, sell
dom get meals these ard times. Chem
list (passing on to next customer)-
Then take 1t before.-Glasgow Times.
"Your little dog" remarked Sub
bulbs, "looks very odd. What did You
have his tail cut Off for?" I'VE SIM
ply had to do 1t" replied Gilman; "he
wagged it SO much and we live in a
fat, you know" -Philadelphia Press.
Little Girl Cat the door)-Sister is
awful sorry, but she can't see you this
evening. Young Man-I'm sorry, too,
Margie. / hope she isn't Ill. Little
Girl-Oh, no; she's busy getting en-
on god fo another fellow-Datroit
News
mo-" declared Mr.. Nagget, there
never was a woman on earth who
could refrain from turning around to
rubber at some other woman's clothes"
'Nof" replied his wife, sweetly. Didn't
you ever hear Of Eve?"-Philadelphl
Press.
Mrs. Loveascrap-I see by the pa
pers, George, that a certain Madame
Pousep and several other Russian la
dias have Anltstad in Cossaclx repi- |