The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1906-01-10


up; ut's tonne t take y insomnia mid
icine.-Puck.
Mr.. Blinks-One of my ancestors
fell at Waterloo. Lady Clare-Ah?
Which platform m?-Punch.
ut does seem odd-the only one of
my man friends who became estrang
ed from me through my MARRIAGES.
my husband.
MAJ" what is it?" 'Is the stuff
in that bottle bay rum?" Mercy, no!
It's mucilage." 81 guess that's why l
can't get my cap off."-Cleveland
Leader.
Scribbles-Wright's new book, Life
In the Slums" failed to make hit, |
hear. Dribbles-Yes. He had no idea
Of poverty-only poverty of IDEAS
Chicago Daily News.
do you deal in secondhand auto
mobiles? If you do, want to sell you
mine" Eyes, sir, we do. How long
have you had your machine?" "Since
! this morning.
Landlady-Are you aware, Mr.. SKI
doc, that the less one eats the longer
one lives? Mr.. Skidoo with his
mouth fulD-sure! But what's the use
OF living that way?-Judge.
whats de oil deacon doing'T
"Prayin' for Thanksgivin' turkey"
Reckon he'll get it?" well, it's
'cordin' ter how high de turkey
roosts ATLANTA Constitution.
$50 you still think that every man
has his price?" Yes answered
Senator Sorghum. "And a lot of the
little fellows manage to do some
scandalous overcharging. Washing
Star.
Citiman-You don't have many Wis
itors out here, do you? Subbubs-O.
yes; coming and going nearly every
day. Citiman-Mostly women, | sup
pose. Subbubs-Yes; servant girls
Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. Gollywhat- your sister
say anything after 1 called yesterday
afternoon, Ethel? Ethel-No, she's
joined the "Count-Ten-Before-Y You
Speak League" but she looked fierce.
Chicago Daily News.
Painter-"What model are you go
ing to get to pose for your statue OF
Fallen Greatness? Sculptor-Have
not decided yet whether it'll be life
insurance president or political
boss.-Detroit Free Press.
"Mr. Binx out?" asked the caller.
"Yes," answered the junior partner.
when will he be back?" 81 don't
know Binx doesn't know. Nobody
knows. He went out on his new auto
mobile. Washington Star.
WELL" said Nuritch, showing Kan.
dor through his new house, what do
you think Of the Yurnishin's?" They
show a great deal of TASTE replied
Kandor "Ah, think so?" "Yes, but
it's all ad."-Philadelphia Press.
DO you think the Panama Canal
will be a good thing?" 81 don't
know" answered Mr.. Dustin Stax.
"There is so much prejudice against
graft that good things are getting
scarcer every year."-Washington
Star.
Publisher-The trouble with you Is
that you don't spend enough time ov-
er your work. This last novel of
yours seems unfinished. Author
But you wanted it in hurry. Pub
lisher-True. But you might have
spent couple of days more on tt
Town and Country.
81 think" said the man who is pol
itlcally ambitious, that l will succeed
In convincing our friends that my
money is not tainted" THAT isn't
the point just now" answered Sena-
tor Sorghum THE first thing is to
convince them that you've really got
the Observation-Disclosures Star.
Shepherd-What are all volunteers
doing out today? Volunteer-They're
all out scouting. Shepherd-And what
are you doing? Volunteer-I'm scout.
ing, too. Shepherd-And what Is
scouting, please? Volunteer-Weel,
to tell the truth, dinna ken, but
we're a. on the scout together!-I
Punch.
"Why don't you put a stop to the
mad career of these railways? asked
the man who is always indignant. MY
dear sir" answered Senator Sorghum,
81 haven't thought of it. But there is
no sense in a man standing on the
track and defying the locomotive,
when he might just as well be in a
parlor car looking at the scenery
Washington Star.
81 believe" said Mrs. Oldcastle, !
that what boy is depends largely
upon his environment" Il know it,
replied her hostess as she carelessly
toyed with her jewel box. There
was my cousin Ebenezer's boy. He
never knew what it was to have a.
well day until the doctors found out
that 1t was his environment, and cut
1t out."-Chicago Record Herald.
There are over fifteen thousand
nost t.offica aayiny hanks in England