Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1906-03-07
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~ $1,000 vi NOutSC uVt. 110
wears celluloid collars."-Ex.
Pa, what are the wages Of SIM"
well, the salaries on those trust off,
Gals vary greatly. my son."-Smart
Set.
"Well, Maggie, you have now been
married year. How do you like your
husband?" Sober, mum."-Houston
Post.
DO you think show my age?' asks
Miss Ederlee. why, no. / think you
succeed very admirably in concealins
it.'-lndianapois Sentinel
He-I was an intimate friend of your
late husband. Can't you give me some.
thing to remember him by? She (sllyly)
How would do?-Punch.
Robbie-AIamma. why have you got
papa's hair in a locket? His Mother
To remind me that he once had
some, Robbie.-Illustrated Bits.
knicker-strange they didn't nam.
the baby after Its rich uncle. Booker
No. he looked at 1t. and said he'd give
them $4,000 not to.-Harper's Bazaar.
Woody Riter-I've always though,
1t would be fine to be poet. Editor
1t certainly should be fine, or lmpris
onment, or Philadelphia Press
Briggs see that young Tutter
came near being dubbed to death by a
New York policeman. Griggs-What
ofense was he innocent of?-Smart
Set.
MA" what is it?" as the stun
In that bottle bay rum?" mercy, no!
It's mucilage." II guess that's why
l can't get my cap off."-Cleveland
Leader.
Nell-They say her wedding simply
beggared description. Belle-I don't
know about that, but I've heard 1t near.
~ beggared her father.-Phlladelphi
Record
ut takes lot Of patience to run an
automobile, does 1t not? asked the
man. eyes, lots of patients" replied
the doctor, land I've got 'em."-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
Mrs. Style-I want hat, but II
must be in the latest style. Shopman
kindly take chair, madam, and
wait few minutes; the fashion 10
just Notwithstanding Star.
Did you ever make personal sac
rifice?" asked the visiting parson.
Yes, indeed" replied Mrs. LIE Style;
Il once declined to be interviewed by
society reporter. "-Chlcago News.
Mrs. Jollyboy-How are you getting
along with your servants now2 Mrs.
Gayboy-Splendidly. We have made
them present of the house, and now
we are boarding with them.-Town
Topics.
II suppose he just clasped you In
his arms when the canoe upset?" mo;
quite the opposite" "Quite the op-
poster Yes; the canoe upset when
he elapsed me in his arms."-Hous-
top Post.
Teacher-A coal dealer has ten tons
of coal which he sells at So ton. How
much does he get for It? Scholar
About $65. Teacher-Thats wrong.
scholar-Yes'm; but all coal dealers do
it.-Judge.
Mrs. Bleachblonde-I found this
black hair on your coat. What does
it mean? Mr.. Bleachblonde-Why,
that is my last winters coat. Your
hair was black then. you know
Smart Set.
GOSH" exclaimed Farmer Korntop,
after listening to the story; "he must
be regular dead beat" "Huhw
snorted the victim. "he's a plumb sight
worse'n that. He's live one."-Phil-
adelphia Ledger.
Paying Teller can't cash this
check, madam, until you are identi-
fed Mrs. Bright-You mean have
to identify myself? Paying Teller
Yes, madam. Mrs. Bright-How sim
pie! Have you looking-glass?-Ex
Lawyer-And what was the defend
mt doing meanwhile? Witness-He
was telling me funny story. Law
yer-Remember, sir, that you are I'M
der oath. Witness-Well, anyway, he
was telling me story.-Somerville
Journal.
The teacher had been telling the
class about the rhinoceros family.
Now, name some things" said she,
that 1t is very dangerous to get near
and that have horns" "Automobilesw
replied little Jennie Jones, promptly.
New York World.
Senator" asked the pretty girl, do
you know what the railroad fare is
from here to Washington" NO." he
replied before giving himself time to
think, "but can tell you the exact
mileage If that will do you any good"
Chicago Record Herald.
"Pshaww said the judge there's
10 reason why you people should be
divorced. Go home and make up.
There are no grounds" But,
judge" the man frantically interrupt
ed, "she hasn't told you the whole
truth. pushed her down stairs once
and it was miraculous that she wasn't
killed or crippled for life.-Chicago
Record Herald.
French Maid Ito inquiring friend)-
Oui, madame is Ill, but re doctor hat
pronounce it something very trifiing,
very small. Friend-Oh, l am SO re-
lieyed, for I was really anxious about
her. What does the doctor say the trou-
BILE is? French AIaid-Let me recall.
1t was something very leetle. Oh! 1
bave it now. Re doctor says Eat mad
anne has re smallpox.-The Taller.
New Peat Burns Like Hard Coal,
Osmon is the new peat success. It
is manufactured in Switzerland. The
peat Is dried under the influence Of the
electric current, and then further treat
ed so that under the action Of electric