The National tribune., 1906-03-01

more permanent ana DlnuIng, by IN
Guiding its provisions among the fixed
| rules of the Civil Service Commission.
Moreover, another step should be
taken. A simple but sufficient scheme
IF examination should be devised to
demonstrate the qualifications Of the
candidate to properly perform the nee
essary clerical duties Of the office, and
failed to creditably pass this examina-
| ton. The proportion Of ignorant OFF,
Gals Is not large, but 1t Is too large for
the convenience of the Department or
the patrons.
Ignorance is the twin sister of care
lessness the mother Of curiosity and
the grandmother of self-importance.
These four defects constitute the chief
elements OF the inefficiency now occa-
siOna1ly SEEM
Unique Productions.
An flliterate Postmaster, who as
sumed that the Department should pro-
tect him from insanitary surroundings
wrote to the Postmaster-Ge General: cit
Is neer time that your expecter Looks
up der nooshans in roots Adishun. Laws
Said that Nomanure shood bee put in
dc Alleway dem folks hav pigs in de
barne and Pill Of Manure in de Allie
way, rite bak of Nickelrs barne, it
Schmel Xix slacter Hose"
"Vesty," story Of life on the sea-
coast Of New England, has this episode
In village post office. The mail car
rier had just brought In his post bag
and the Postmistress had opened it:
she; look a. this, will We? A whole
pot o strawberry jam soaked right
plumb inter the middle O. the United
States Governmunt!"
1t was only too true. The pile Of let
ters and papers which she had emptied
onto the moulding table were red and
glowing as the Summer rose.
VIII hung his dismayed head.
BE them ructions. Or amt they?"
colby demanded Lunette, the Postmis-
tress. pointing to the awful pile.
II didn't mean to-" said viii.
There's got to be something done!"
cried Lunette. Folks got to learn t
the United States Government is a aw-
full an solemn an turrible thing.
What eff It sh'd be told we hadn't no
more respec' for her down here to the
Basins to soak her through with straw
berry jam an molarsses! These here
ructions have been a-goin' on too long
I'm a-goin' to fill out a blank an send
1t to Washington"
Lively apprehension, none the less
poignant for being vague, sat on a very
pale brow.
Here" continued Lunette. as Ma
jor's business letters, looks as though
they'd been a-settin' in the dentists
chair. havin' all the old stumps extract
ed for a whole set Of uppers and un-
ders!"
The comparison. though tragic, was
not inapt.
''Here"-blind terror yielded to curl
osity on many features-there Is Jen-
ME Cossey's letter from her beau, down
to New London, with a cardboard da-
CARRIER in it. Yes" said Lunette.
manipulating the envelope curiously and
holding it to the light; II knew t the
next thing he'd be sendin' his pictur!
was stan'in' in his shoes an had gone
an combed yer hair tell yer arm
ached, an stuck the end O yer hand
kercher outer yer pocket, an had yer
pictur' took, an then sot down an
wrote lot o. sweetness to wrop around
tan when she took 1T out have it
look like Injuns a-yellin' on the war;
PATH"
'Say, Lunette," said honest VIII, his
handsome face redder than any of the
lively imagerfes she had called up to
terrorize his conscience; II got that
sold the spruce gum for two dollars for
We. Look a. here"
"Will Hunson, don't ye ride no more
strawberry jam an molarsses down here
in the middle o. the United States Gov
ernmunt ag'in. will YEP said the Post
But it appeared then that no blank
was to be filled out and sent to Wash
ington. +.
Hadn't His Bag Filled Yet.
new Postmaster in the South
thought he knew his business. For sew
erai days after he took charge of the
office there was no mail sent out from
that point. This was reported to the
superintendent Of the Railway Mail
Service, who telegraphed the delinquent
Postmaster, and was very much sur
prised to receive reply, also by tefe-
graph. saying, II amt got one sack
near full yet"
A Frenchman has invented a phono-
graph postal card. A thin wax sheet
the size of a postal card is put into the
machine. and the sender speaks his
message int0rit; The wax sheet is then
attached To the postal card and mailed
The recipient detaches 1t, places it In
his own phonOaraph, and. paradoxically
speaking, receives recorded message
orally. This scheme will certainly en-
tail Hardship upon those Postmasters
who read their patrons postal cards.
|. SETTLING Accounts.
The difficulty of getting postal ac-
counts finally settled is one Of the hor-
rors of the service. An ex-Postmaster
In Oregoni6Mrt Hafenden, was short
one cent. and bis two bondsmen were
notified to remit at once or suit would
be commenced. The ex-Postmaster was
also notified, and three bulky docu-
ments were required for the portentous
transaction The exp. NJ hustled
around lively, until he got a cent and
forwarded IL it,. Now the incident is
closed. ~
A farmer had q son away at school,"
The son had the postal card habit. Hel
wrote even the little things of the most
private nature on postals His father
went to the post office for his mail The
postal that the assistant, who was the
daughter of the Postmaster, had seen
could not be found. She searched in
every nook and corner, but finally gave
up the search In despair, and said
well, well. where could have put that
card? But perhaps I had better tell
you that John said he needed a new suit
Of clothes"
Sometimes the aggrieved official re-
sents insinuations and seeks revenge
For example:
Bill Axietree: II can't understand
why there Amt any mail for me. II
never done anything to you.''
Rural Postmaster: You hain't, hey |
Didn't YOU mail postal card last week