New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-01-16

The vices of the human of a hoary an
tqufty. An English archeologist In lecture on
the ancient Brtons, says there is no doubt that
they PLAYED dice dcebox had been found, with
four oblong dice in it marked up TO six Nor is
this all. The dice were all loaded!
PICTURES IN THE SMOKE.
No sentimental poet to wiring the heart with woe
Or call up sad illusions to the Land OF Long Ago
l leave such work to Riley. Let him induce the
With poems of the yesterday and Joys of Other
Yet what aflatus is in comes surging from afar.
What time 1 puff the azure clouds from out big
The Muse of Optimistic Things I toyfully invoke
And conjure up the pictures-the pictures in the
smoke.
No sweethearts of the Might Have Been are in
No C4wendoiyn or Margaret. no Kate or Caroline;
No dear old Home" promises that childishly |
Come in that vap'rous picture in that blue tobacco
Nay. Nay! I dream of luxuries that am going
BY saving up the coupons Of a certain cigarette
8 ye, thai scott at sentiment and deem romance
Come s@ gaks with me at pictures in the
An automobile-if I save four million tags of that;
For seven hundred thousand bands of this-a fur
A parlor yacht-for smoking thirty thousand tons
A to0thbrnsh-for inhalng fumes of twenty miles
"A woman's but woman"-but good cigar is
Than just smoke dear Rudyard, if you strike the
I've got tobacco heart, a lung is gone. and I am
broke.
But I have looked at pictures-at pictures in tie
smoke. PUCK
claim was once placed IN the hands Of Judge
Peters, of Bangor Me. for collection. A notice
sent to the debtor who called and promised TO pay
the following Saturday. The judge said: Now,
don't say you will pay Saturday night unless you
mean to; just take few more days and be sure.
Say you will pay next Wednesday" 'AI right"
said the man, eff live until next Wednesday I
will pay that bill" Wednesday came but no man
appeared to settle the bill, wlereupon the Judge
notice of the death of the man and put
it in the daily paper The next day the bill
settled.
Husband-Anyt thing you want In town to-day, my
dear? Shall 1 order some more of that self-rising
tDD RaTe psRtg left left but wish yoT T9nd
servant girI.-Qustrated Bits.
Natural history always interests children who
usually recall explanations of the phenomena in
their way. An account of the habits of the
cuckoo, for instance. was apparently absorbed at
the time but reproduced thus few days later:
The cuckoo? Oh that's the bird that doesn't lay
its own eggs"
Inherlted-Pa,' said Willie. looking up from his
Whyme[f.a linear r. foot stanmsred his father
Didn't You never hear tell Of a linear descendant?
-(Catholc Standard and Times.
Sir Harry Samuel, Unionist candidate for Par
lament, is the author of this bull: THE legisla
tive garden of the Liberals" he said. 'fs arid
swamp If such a Parliamentary authority
Mr. Gladstone said, 1T is for the honorable
member to shake his head in the teeth of his own
words" lesser lights who blunder in the political
arena have reason to be ashamed. Mr.. Balfour
once spoke of IAN empty theatre of unsympathetic
auditors and Lord Curzon congratulated his party
the circumstance that though not out of the
wood have a good ship
The Most Popular Tree.-Ryer-Ever study for
estry, De Voc? -
De Voe-Yes, I'm working on my family tree
nOW.-(BroOklyn Life.
Wilhelm Schmied. of Unternalb, Germany. who
instructed a stonemason to inscribe his wife's
tombstone the words Here rests the body of
Marie Schmied who died after much suffering
from the effects of INSCRIPTIONS treatment" has
been sentenced to months Imprisonment for
slandering the doctor in the case
Hostess Introducing first violin to sporting and
non-musical guest)-This is Professor Jngelheim
who leads the quartet. you know.
Sporting Guest thinking to be highly complt-
mentary)-Leads-eh- several lengths, eh~
and the rest nowhere! What?-(Punch.