davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03
DREW A LONG BREATH. AND
STRUCK WITH ALL HIS MIGHT.

"I9aye you killed YOURSELF. demand
ed the widow from the end of the
Veranda, as the deacon danced around
and firted his smarting fingers in the
'.Blast the blamed hog" was shouted
in reply.
Il say blast him, and III break his
blamed back before I am through with
himi''
There was. another chase after the
hog The porker took a turn around
the front yard. doing all the damage
cnIld To the ffOWer-beds, and as
the deacon pursued him half a dozen
people were looking on and comment
ing. He knew it, but he continued the
race. What viii not a man do to get
reached the potato vines, again there
was a tremendous effort on the dea-
cons part to finish the tragedy out OF
hand. He set his jaw, drew a long
breath and struck with all his might
The hog wasn't there, and the deacon
fell among the vines and rolled
over. Confused as he was, he heard the
widow chuckle, and then and there he
vowed that she should never be his
wife. When he rose up he felt the
strength of a giant and the heetness
of a race horse He took the trail Of
the hog and ran it so close that the
porker had to make a rush up the
steps of the veranda to save his bacon
If the widow had stood still he would
have passed her, but, of course, she
jumped around and got in his way and
he made a dive at her feet and brought
her down. While she lay screaming
the deacon was coming to the rescue.
He leaped up on the veranda just as
the hog had decided to take the back
track, and there was another collision
and another human being thrown
down. Six neighbors were on hand
before the two people had arisen and
the hog had disappeared through the
hole in the fence.
Wilder Carteri" exclaimed the dea-
con, as he stood painting like a horse.
and his face as red as paint.
Deacon Stillwelll'' she exclaimed,
as her eyes flashed at the thought of
being flung down by a hog.
I'll never come into your house
aginI"
Nobody wants you to-"
ttYOu-yOu=t'
sAnd you-you-!''
And they have never married. The
shadow Of a spotted hog lies between
them Copyright, 1906, by Mcclure,
Phillips & COD
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03
THE NEW FIRST READER.

Tell me what this young man has
done that he is under arrest2''
He was bOokkeeper and cashier in
a plumbers shop. In an evil moment
he dipped his hand into the cash
drawer and distracted 100000 TO bet
on the horses. He was sure of VIM
ming at least half that amount
We'll, ne Won, and quit the coal
business 2''
ALAS! but he didn't. The bookmalx-
ers got every dollar of it. The young
man had the misfortune to bet on the
hind horse all the way through. When
the hundred thou was gone he dipped
in for a quarter of a million. so as to
recoup his losses. He bet it all on
Rapid al twenty to one
And this time he won and bo1eF,t
out the Adirondacks -
Alas, some more; but he didn't
Rapid stopped to rest and eat grass
and came in an hour and a half lafe
He was named Rapid because he rested
50 fast"
Having received two bad iolts
didn the yound man take a tumble 10
the pony business ~
HE did. He went down into tba
cash drawer for a hundred thousa M
more, making half a million in All -
sought out gambling house ana
staked every dollar on faro. Tn tv..se
hours ne was penniless. Although he
mad taken half a million dollars tl5e
plumber might not have found H..
out for several years, but that he -.
70 the cash drawer to get chance 10
buy a nickel cigar. Then he disco, y
cred his loss: and ordered the volln,r
mans arrest ~
And what viii become Of him 30
years Us Aor ten
And the plumber=vfn he ~
ruined i'm his old age2''
Not en- your life. When the wates
pipes begin to freeze in DeraY17I,e,,. /. ! Il,
meet all customers with a srniliner 60
ana January first he'll have his Tnors,,
BACK you can neither beat the 4aees
nor a plumber. - Copyright. 1905 bg
Mcclure. Phillips & ~ 5 2s
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03
Z never had an attack"

4 never had an attack"
What! What. My dear soul of
goodness, you don't tell me that you
escaped scott free 2"
The woman laughed. but made no
reply
why, my dear" said the major as
he walked about, the night [ left your
boarding house I was told that you and
several of the boarders were in bed
with the dread epidemic and had no
show to get We'll AS a matter of fact
1 was ordered by a red-headed police
man to pack my trunk and CO.
But you didn't pack your trunk and
take it along. It was d dollar trunk.
found it next day with two old shirts
in it. You went at midnight, and you
went by way of the alley window"
Il could dispute you, my dear old
guardian angels, but I shall not do so
1t is barely possible that I did leave by
way of the alley and neglected to take
my trunk along. The smallpox news
naturally put me in panic. Three
days later, when on my way to the
house to ring the bell and ask after
you was told by the peanut man on
the corner that you were dead and
buried. Shall I say that tears filed my
eyes as I heard his words? Shall I
say that never slept for an hour that
nlght2 Shall 1 say
Il don't think I would" Interrupted
the woman as she STr1oLhed at the
stocking she was kni-ting.
AaQ L known VINO 10 send the sew
enteen dollars to-" said the major as
he tried to work a quaver into his
tones, "of course it would have been
sent I should have sent at least one
hundred dollars above the debr. You
were kind to me, Mrs. Pillsbury, when
I needed kindness, and 1 never forE ct
my friends. However. let the past be
the past. You are here now and I can
show my gratitude. VIII a little check
for five hundred win back your good
opinions ."
Mrs. Pillsbury INDUCED in a hearty
laugh.
But stay. Instead of a check for
five hundred, suppose I give you the
secretaryship of new company I have
just promoted? It is called The Great
American Folding Bed company, and
starts out with q capital OF three 1nill-
ion dollars and orders from the car of
Russia and half a dozen kings and en-
perors. The old-fashioned folding bed
had a trick of folding up at night and
catching the sleeper and brea king his
back. Our bed never folds up except
in the day time. and human life is
therefore safe. The secretaryship Will
pay you five thousand a year, and you
win have so little to do at the Office that
you can run your boarding house as
well. When 1 was hard up and could
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03
Too Many for Him.

ST wanted TO make trip over part
of Montana on horseback, said the
man of the solemn looks, land having
heard how suspicious certain of the
population We're I thought to cave
things beyond dispute.
81 got the mayor. the alderman and
the banker in a certain town to Ger
tify to my identity, and when I bought
a riding horse had him described i'll
writing and the description sworn to
by eight different men. 1 added to
this a photograph Of the animal and
myself and had that sworn to. and
when I finally started out felic1tated
myself that / was. safe from trouble.
Il had only been travelling two days.
however, when ] ran across a crowd
looking for a horse thief, and I was
at once arrested and taken before a
justice of the peace. I produced my
credentials, and after ne had looked
them over he had to admit that I was
all right, but at the same time he
had a private word for my ear. lie
took me into a back room and said.
Stranger. can't say that you stole
this boss No, / can't skaSsly say that
YOU did, but what the boys VIII try to
make out, and what VIII look tolerahls
reasonable TO this court, is that you
are riding around this country in hopes
to steal another boss TO match this
Z on d better leave FIVE dollars with ne
to entertain the boys and take a skip
down this alley and set twenty miles
away as soen as you can M Quad
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03

70 night and tell you dat if de back
rent hain't paid up widin twenty-fO'
hours he'll set you on de street
ITO dream dat While you am hidin
away in an old barn you see farmer
murder his hired man fur eaun so
much signerfies dat you am gwine to
ask some one to lend you a dOllarSand
fail to get it.
ITO dream of standin' in an open
place in de woods and seem wood
piles all around you, and dat a man
wild a benevolent smile comes along
and tells you to take all you want, sig
nihes dat de Coal Combine viii hold a
meetin' next day and raise de price OBJ
coal another half dollar,
ITO dream dat you got a divorce
from your old woman and married a
rich wilder and took her to Niagry
Falls ON a bride tower am a pleasant
thing to dream about, but don't you go
to chucklin ODER it. 1t Signerfies dat
your ole woman am gwine to stay right
by and make it hot fur you till you
go to work.
ITO dream dat seben bOb-tafledr cats
am sittin' on your chest as you sleep,
and glarin' at you wild green eyes, and
dat your fam ~ has been killed IN a
wreck and your house burned to de
ground am one of de incest things you
kin dream 1t signerfies dat you am
gWine to find a ten-dOl1ar bill in de
road widin two days.
ITO dream dat you have been elect
ed to office and dat white men am
tumblin' Ober deirSelVes to take off DER
hats to you and ak fur appointments,
brings a warm glow to your heart as
you dream, but you viii wake up to
find a policeman snoOkin' around de
yard and IOOkin' fur heads, feet and
feathers.
IF you sot down of winters even
in wild your feet in de oven of de cook
stove and fall asleep, and dream dat
you walked down dark ravine and
saw chunks of gold lynn all about OATS
a sign dat de butcher hain't gWine to
gin you any mo- credit until you have
squared up de old account.
, 'Dreamin' of angels am nebber a
good dream. OBJ de six Occashuns I
row wild de ole woman next day, and
on de last Occashun she hit me Ober
de head wild n hoe handle and left a
scar dat will last fur life.
ITO dream dat you am dead of liver
complaint and fiOatin about on f1eecy
clouds while de sun am a red ball of
fire in de west signerfies dat de old WO-
as you sleep, and dat she viii lie out
of it when you miss dat half-dOllar in
de mawning.
ITO dream dat you took a coffee sack
and set out at night fur a watermillyun
patch mile away. and dat you got five
big ones and toted EN- home to find
a ten-dollar gold piece in each one, is a
dream so real dat you wake up pickin
de seeds outer your mOuf. Beware
| however. If you go arter dem mill
yuns you'll bump up agin a White man
and his dawg and shotgun. and you'll
not only come home WidOut any fruit
but it will take surgeon two days to
( pick de birdshot outer your 5egs.''--
/ Copyright, 1906, by Mcclure. Phil
/ Inns & Coz
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03

Outside the favored circle of rail-
road officers, employees and dependent
members of their immediate families,
who are not barred by law from hav-
ing passes, just two persons viii ride
free on the Pennsylvania railroad after
this year.
One is Miss Anne Thomson, who
resides at Marion and is the daughter
of Frank Thomson. formerly the presi-
dent of the Pennsylvania railroad.
The other is Mrs. George B. Rob-
erts, who resides at Bala and is the
widow of George B. Roberts, another
former president OF the company.
Holding little silver discs, the same
kind as the company gives to it's di-
rectors instead of plebeian card passes.
these two women are privileged, dur
ing the balance of their natural lives.
to travel free on any and all trains
operated anywhere on the entire
Pennsylvania railroad system Of near
~ 1900 miles of line
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03
Abby HER LONESOME.


She was a young woman about TWEEN
ty years old, rather fair to look upon,
and she had a seat all to herself in the
parlor car. BY and by the hardware
drummer decided to strike up an ac-.
quaintanee. As he approached her she
raised her eyes smiled sweetly and
modoned for him to sit down beside
her
II didn't know but what you
wanted the window opened he stam-
mo, not today. but I expected you
long ago
sYou-you did %
Yes. and if you had not come I
should have. sent for you. I liked your
face from the first moment I saw it,
The drummer turned red and white
and could not say a word, and the
calm and collected young lady con-
tinued:
you have a serious and intellectual
look, and I do not think I made a mis-
take in sizing you UP. You are student
of theology
"Yes-yes' m. I am he stammered.
you love and reverence the Bible,
of course?'
"Of course"
81 am glad to hear it. Have you
much of a library of religious works %
fWell-er-no, but hope to have some
'.Have you the oxford edition of the
! Life of Noah among your Volumes
tfWell-er@yOu know, am going to
4 get it in Chicago he lamely replied.
'tHo1 nice that 7 can save you the
troublei Here is the book and viii
/ take your name and address. The
/ price is seven dollars, and 1 VIII lend
i you this copy to read for a couple of
hours. What name, please ~
but you see
1T win be delivered in thirty days.
You have your choice of two bindings"
He tried to say something, but words
4 failed him and he handed her his card
and made for the smoker cOmpart-
ment. Two other drummers were there
and they looked up and smiled
Whats the matter?" asked the
4 hardware man.
"she struck both Of US before. you
tried it on. Keep quiet The fruit
tree man from New Jersey will be
number four Oxford edition-two
bindings=large type-profusely illus
trated-knows her business"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03

not see my way clear you trusted me
Instead of bounding me for my board
and making things worse all around,
you let my Indebtedness drift along and
showed that You felt for me- I never
can forget it. Take the secretaryship,
Mrs Pillsbury. in payment of the bread
you cast upon the waters
Mrs Pillsbury simply grinned as she
worked away at her knitting.
ter?''
She grinned little harder.
GU can't possibly distrust my in
tentons, my dear woman. Since j came
into my patrimony 1 have taken the
greatest pleasure in. paying off my little
Indebtedness in other days. If you are
not satisfied with $4,000 in place of
we shall want some more coal pref
~ soon, major" observed the caller
What Go YOU mean by that2"
IL isn't eleven O'Clock yet. L expect
10 be here all day, and perhaps for two
or three days..
Good Lordt"
THAT is, 1 shall stay until get my
money
But I have offered you the secre-
taryship of the Great American Fold
ing Bed company positively guaranteed
not TO fold UP and break any ones back
between sunset and sunrise"
Mrs Piilsbury grinned several grins.
But as you don't seem inclined to
/ want to get the debt off my hands at
once, will so out and borrow the
money"
He walked TO the door. but it
wouldn't open. The woman had locked
it and put the key in her pocket. He
looked around at her and she smiled
benevOlentlY.
I can't raise $17 to save my neck, .
he finally said
4 know it she replied, "and so I
am going 10 take 81 and call it
square"
The major sat down and counted up.
He had forty cents over the amount
but not another cent in sight for two
weeks. He looked appeaIngly at Mrs.
Pilsbury.
Seven, or sit right here for a
week" She said.
My dear. dear old landIady, whom
1 thought dead
cut it out majort''
He did. He handed over the seven,
and she put on aher hat and cloak, bun
died up her knitting and unlocked the
door and grinned farewell.
BY thunder" gasped the promoter
as he stood and surveyed the open
door.
Then he rushed to the stove and
threw open the door to save all the
/ heat he could and sat down in his Of
fee chair. and once more exclaim I'd:
BY thunder
by thunder! Copyright, 1906
! Inv AfpCt1r1r-a E1h4ITfSe e. 90
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03

circumstances There kin be but one |
answer. 1t is for an American TO up I
hold the customs of the state he may
be stOppin' in. In Massachusetts,, Whell
a man holds three four-hands in sue /
cessions il may be looked upon as al
act of Providence and the holder IS
patted on tho back in Wyoming II
is looked upon as stackin' the cards
and the stacker is supposed to say his
prayers and become reconciled 10
death in five seconds.
1T was clearly the bOunden duty of
the tenderfoot to shoot He saw the
bulwarks of American Liberty wob-
bling. He could hear he shrielSs of
the Goddess of Liberty as she realized
that she must come off the roost. Ira
dition, custom and patriotism demand
ed action on his part. For the moment
the fair name of Wyoming was in MS
keeping. It was fur him &c keep her
bright escutcheon dustless or 10 cover 1t
with mud Would this yere SQUIRT have
Eesitated? Would any of you2
Alas, teller citizens! Alas, fur Wy
omingi The tenderfoot shooteth not
and Pete walks off and comes down
/ to Sandy Bend and blows in the dough-
A day passes and then the man from
the east comes Gmpin' into my Red
Dog saloon and cries out fur justice
ana tells me his story J naturally ask
/ aim why he didn't shoot, and he re-
/ Plies that he never killed a man and
was afraid to. 1 hand him over one of
my guns and bid him go forth and
J
/ but he sits down and weeps. At that
1 1 have to grant him jestice. give
warrant fur Pete, and he is arrested
and thar he sots, and on my other
| hand is the plaintiff.
Its as easy as fallin' down stairs
| to arrive at a decision in this case.
Pete has got to raise them $50 and re-
turn EN- to the tenderfoot. Their, fur
deceivin' an innGcea- man VIII that
4 humble way Of his. ana bHimsin the
commonwealth into disrapute in a
game of poker hes got TO lust out of
these diggins and be seen no more
among US He's got two hours To do it
in. It'll be either git or so u Jail.
LAS fur the stranger within our
gates, if his lungs and liver and kid
news and several other things WASH t
out of order. and if he wasIft a resi-
dent of a state within whose confines
is reared that sacred emblem of free
dom dear to the hearts of ALL I'd
make an example of him to last other
folks fifty years. AS It is, my advice
to him. as soon as he gifts his money
back, is to make tracks for Colorado.
The eJimate thar is jest as good fur
what ails him, and the sacred game
of poker has no sacredness about it.
Any feIler kind hold six aces III j hand
ami rot be thought peculiar
Court will now be adjourned, and
Ia ASSN L may remark that none CT
the hker sold at the Red Dog saloon
was frozen durin the late cold snap
- Copyright, 1906, by Mcclure. Phil
lips & Coz
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03

feelings will get left He knows the
difference between a square deal and
a sneak, and when he is Inundated he
feels revengeful. Tt don't take this
particular hog over ten seconds to real
lie that he had been played low down.
and to decide on a course of action. He
was near the hole he came IN at, but he
started on a run for the house. More
over. he squealed as he ran.
The squeahng Of o hog on a quiet
Sunday evening in any community viii
bring out anxious inquirers. The dea-
con knew it. but he went racing after
his victim He lodged around the
frIit trees in his race and finally got
near enough to deliver a blow. 1t was
a blow meant to kill the porker so
stone dead that not a single bristle
would stir after the club came down.
but it missed the hogs nose by an inch
and bit a tree.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03
BROTHER GARDNER.
Ike Invents New Signs and Dreams for
1906

"1Iy fr'ens.r said Brother Gardner.
of the Limekiln club. at the last regu-
lar meeting of that organization, de
Guild man has been guided by dreams
an signs fur five hundred years past
an reckon ne viii be FUR i've hun
bred years to come Since de organ
ization of dis club [ has made seberal
efforts to bring about change. but
widOut success. De average black
man clings to his dreams an signs like
g dawg to a bone an all talk in Oppo-
Bishun goes into one ear an out at de
sdder.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03

If one boy standing on a corner can
hit a grocer's horse in the ear with
a SNOWFALL and cause a. runaway, how
many boys and snowballs would it
take to start twelve horses and a mule.
on the skeedaddle?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03
SOME MENTAL ARITHMETIC.

Henry goes to the grocery for a
quart of n. o. molasses. and on his
way home meets five boys, making six
in the gang. How much mOlasses
will be left after each has had
swig and how high viii Henry jump
when the bOOtjack hits him?
If one boy standing on corner can
hit a grocer's horse in the ear with
d SNOWFALL and cause runaway, how
many boys and snOWballs would it
take to start twelve horses and a mule
on the skeedaddle2
Hiram has six marbles and William
has none. They meet in the alley, and
Hiram has a bloody nose and William
the six marbles How much flyer is
William than Hiram?
boy with goat after him can
run eight miles an hour A goat in
chase of boy can run eleven miles
in the same time. How far would
they have to run before the goats
head overlook the boy. and how long
before the boy would come to and
sit up and wonder what house fell on
him?
Sarah has a new doll costing twenty
cents, and three sticks of candy worth
a penny each. She refuses to give
nef DTOtner ARENAS any OF the cdnQy,
and as a result he wrings the neck
of her doll and pushes Sarah into
mudhole. How much would she have
saved by giving ARENAS all the candy
and patting him on the back in q
sisterly way?
Mrs. Johnson. before running over
to the house of neighbor, hides the
sugar bowl, containing five cents
worth of sugar. on the top shelf Of
the pantry. She has no sooner left
the house than Sammy makes d climb
for that sugar, and in his efforts to
| reach the shelf he falls and breaks
his leg and twelve dinner plates worth
/ ten cents each. How much was Mrs.
Johnson ahead ct the game?
boy who can run seven miles an
| hour throws a turnip at a teamster
1 who can only run five miles an hour.
| The turnip hits the teamster in the ear
and he sets out to pursue the boy.
/ How many years, months, weeks and
/ days Will it take him to overtake his
/ victim. and what will be the color of
/ his whiskers when the event comes
1 off.-M. Quad.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03

Hiram has six marbles and William
has none. They meet in the alley, and
Hiram has a bloody nose and William
the six marbles. How much flyer is
William than Hiram?
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-05-28

said it was natural 10 mourn the loss
of loved ones, but on such occasions az
this 81 was nttlng to dwell upon the
realities Of life. The decea sed had been
a valiant soldier on earth and he would
continue valiant beyond The mortal
tabernacle was laid away IN weakness,
but IL would rise IN power and great
glory The speaker dwelt upon the
tendency Of modern thought 10 deny
the resurrection, but declared that all
such efforts would fail and the truth
be indicated On the end.
Elder Joseph T.. Taylor said he had
known Brother Jones for "a years and
IN an that time had observed that he
was true to every trust reposed IN him.
Ot late years he had longed to Join his
comrades or the other side and that de-
sire had now been realized
Elder j. G.. Rushton counselor 20
Bishop Stanley. stated that there were
many others preset who would gladly
have paid tribute to Brother Jones. but
time would not permit II was an
evidence. however, Of the great respect
felt for the departed dead
The choir sang Farewell all earthly
huuors" and the benediction was pro-
nouuced by Elder r. c. Badger There
was 20 profusiou of beautiful Aoral em-
hlems and many relatives and friends
followed the remains Ia their last rest
ing place iu The city cemetery.