The Somerset reporter., 1906-05-10
BY Donald "A lien

Jed Wheeler, aged forty and a bache-
lor was as well liked as any person
In the village OF Flint He was neigh.
borly, kind hearted and always willing
to do for others.
Jed's good qualities were In way
his enemies He was lazy and added
to his laziness. he had a mania for
trading He would trade horses, dogs,
guns, watches. overcoat or anything
else, and it so happened that the other
fellow always got the best Of the bar.
gain.
He had been left quite a little for
tune by his grandmother. but in the
course of five years he had sold at a
loss or traded with sharpers until all
that was left to him was a ten acre lot
lying just outside the village limits
1t was as fine a meadow as could be
found In the county, and Jed was hang
ing on to that until some lightning rod
man should come along and trade him
farm on top the Rocky mountains
when be fell in love,
Jim Thomas the carpenter, had died
three years before and left level
headed, economical widow behind him
She was an old schoolmate of jed $.
and he had seen her almost every day
for twenty-five years, and until the
spirit of love dubbed up he had sim
ply regarded her as he looked upon all
other women.
He was sitting on the grocery steps
one day whiting when his knife slip
ped and cut his finger. The Widow
Thomas was just entering the store for
half a dozen eggs when the accident
occurred, and she pulled out her hand
kercbief and bound up the bleeding
finger. 1t was only a trihe, but some
how 1t touched the heart of the old
bachelor. and three days later he called
on the widow.
Martha" he began. 1--WE got tired
of soshlng around alone and am going
to get married"
For the lands saker she exclaimed.
That is, If the woman l want will
have me-
who is it?"
you"
"Now, jed, don't come around here
with any of your nonsense" she said.
you are a good natured man, but you
are lazy. You think you've got brains,
but everybody beats you. 1t would
drive me crazy to have such hus-
band"
81 could and would reform. If had
any one to peck at me I'd go to work"
81 haven't time to be poking up
husband. It's hard to teach old dogs
new tricks. Thank ye for the honor.
Jed, but l guess we won't do any mar
rylng."
Jed was crushed for three days, dur
ing which time a windmill man came
along and offered to trade him 5000
acres of desert land In Arizona for his
meadow and explained that he could
raise 10000 rattlesnakes to the acre on
the sandy soil and sell the oil for s. Il
gallon to grease the feet of babies
with.
If Jed had been in his normal condi-
ton he would have closed with the of
fer at once, but as he was in the throes
of hopeless love he astonIshed the
town by turning the windmill man
down. Two days later he went back
to the widow and said:
Martha, had a dream about Jim
last night. | dreamed that | met him
In front of the blacksmith shop aud
that we shook hands and he said he
hoped I'd marry you"
"Oh, you've come about that, have
your" she asked.
Il have. I'm miserable man
Have you tried catnip tea?'
"Catnip tea? Great heavensi What
alls me Is love. and If the Mississippi
river was composed OF catnip tea 1t
couldn't cure me. Martha. II you won't
promise to have me l cant live a week
longer"
Nonsense. I'm busy with my iron
Ing, and you run along"
Jed was now so broken up that ev-
erybody began to notice and comment
on 1t, but when questioned he simply
shook his head and intimated that he
was not long for this sinful world. He
got up energy enough, however, to
contract to get out thousand ties for
a suburban electric line, and. hoping !
this ght work in his favor he paid |
another visit to the widow and told
her OF It,
NOW that you see I am going to
work can't you say yesf' he asked In
conclusion
Jed, what do you come bothering
for?' she asked.
Because love you"
Don't be silly. I'm making mlnce |
pies today and haven't time to argue"
Jed went away, determined to throw
himself into the mill pond, but when be
reached the bank he met a stranger |
who had been poking around the vii
lage for couple of days without tell !