davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
PRESS POINTS

Memphis Commercia-Appeal: There
seems to be no way to put lid on the
Storer family.
Knoxville Sentinel: New York's prin-
cipaI diversion at the present time is a
bike race. This is fine weather for laps.
Shreveport Times: It's not who shot
Cock Robin or who hit Billy Patterson,
but who put Joe Bailey on the toboggan?
Chattanooga News: An Omaha man
worth 100000 killed himself for fear of
poverty. The plumber must have been
hammering away in the basement.
Arkansas Gazette: my Dear Theo-
dore," my Dear Bellamy," MY Dear
Maria" all of you have proven yourselves
valiant letter writers. Now, let us have
peace
Portland Telegram: Is it not somewhat
remarkable that we should be familiar
with the ice caps of Mars, and yet be
SO successfully lodged by our own little
North Pole?
Charleston News and Courier: The
curious feature of it is that the ex-senator
from Utah who was shot by a woman
should have hesitated about adding a
wife to his reportory
Pensacola Journal: The Ocala Banner
recently made the statement that Bir-
mingham was making more progress than
any city in the south and Immediately
Tampa became offended.
Richmond News-Leader: "a magazine
writer, discussing paper money says a 50
bill lasts about sixteen months and a $40
bill will last three years" That's what
may be termed romance of currency.
Washington Herald: California col
lege has 81, 100000 endowment, twelve pro-
fessors. and only eleven students. No
matter what else a college may lack, the
inevitable eleven is always on deck.
Washington Post: A New Hampshire
man, after sixty years of married life,
says he has never been angry at his
wife. The good are supposed to die
young; but occasionally one seems to
get away
New Orleans Times-Democrat: A bill
for the regulation of whistles has just
been introduced in Congress. None of its
clauses, however, in any way curtails
the right of congressman to toot their
own horns.
Washington Herald: The Selma (Ala)
Journal declares preachers are not paid
opougb Can II he nossihle that Alaha
supply of yellow-leg chickens, yellow but
ter, yellow yams, and yellow sorghum is
running low?
Savannah News: A Chicago newspaper
calls attention to the fact that "Adonis
never had whiskers like those of Col.
James Hamilton Lewis" But, what of
that? Adonis was never corporation
counsel of Chicago, and didn't need
them.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
SimpIified Spelling Bowed Out.

An executive order can grant pen
sions and do great many other
things, some good and some otherwise,
but it is settled that an executive order
cannot change the language that the
Anglo-Saxon race has been slowly
evolving since the days of William the
Conqueror. The refusal of the supreme
court and finally of the House of Rep
resentatives to accept the Matthew
Brander spelling scheme leaves the
English language our inheritance with
out further, or at any rate effective,
controversy.
The language will continue to grow
as the needs and inclinations of the
people using it dictate, and it will not
be changed particle by Andrew Car
negie's swollen purse or by the Presi-
dents uncalled-for executive order. As
well might either or both attempt -
dictate what the peoples palates shall
enjoy as TO attempt to say how the
peoples pens shall spell. Power and
the Purse have found at last a task
much too heavy for them, and Power
has formally drawn out of the firm,
leaving only the Purse TO carry on the
alleged reform.
The incident should serve to teach
the President not to presume too much
on his popularity among the people. He
should ignore the grandstand altogeth-
err which always is misleading. If he
must be spectacular let him play to the
bleachers only, for it is there that
American horse sense is found in the
largest possible proportion.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
OMISSIONS OF HISTORY.

From the Chicago Tribune.
Socrates was busily engaged in writing.
why do you keep on grinding out that
stuff?" shrilly asked Xantippe. ut doesn't
sell Nine-tenths of it comes back from
the publishers"
II know it," he said Il am writing
for the benefit of posterity, in the belief
that"
"Postertyi" snapped Xantippe. What
has posterity ever done for you, I'd like
to llnow?'
"Posterity, my dear mildly rejoned
Socrates, has always been polite enough
not to interrupt me in the middle of a
sentence"
Which crushing retort silenced the good
dame for the space of nearly thirty sec
OudS,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
Pipes Cheaper Than Ever.

pipes this Christmas are cheaper by
per cent than they were last year, "
said Pryor Plumlee Yesterday. This is
the result of competition, and the i'm
n.ense number of pipes that are to be
found in the United States this year.
pipes that were sold last year for $40
can be bought this year for S., and the
reduction holds good in all lines of pipes.
The assortment is necessarily larger than
ever before, for there are several large
manufacturers in the market, and they
are producing a great variety of styles
ont. shapes"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
ROOSEVELT-STORER CASE
From the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
IT HE Storer-Roosevelt episode has
Wy produced most unpleasant i'm
preston and one that in our
judgment will not readily be dissipated.
Mr.. Roosevelt's Incorporate denial is in
ments In the case unanswered. or at best
ignored.
Leaving out altogether the unsavory ex-
cursion into vatican politics for what it
might profit in Roman Catholic votes in
America, and dismissng all consideration
of the taste and wisdom of propitlatng
simultaneously a powerful ecclesiastic in
st. Paul and another in New York, 1t Is
pertinent to consider merely the circum-
stances of the summary removal OF the
ambassador to Vienna.
We do not approve of women In diplo-
macy. We recall many women who have
achieved brilliancy in the senli-politcal
salon, but few who have altogether es-
capped mischief. In the long run their
hearts get in the way of their heads and
the best intentions in the world are frus-
trated by an uncomfortable excess of
zeal. This was Mrs. Storers oesetting Sin,
and no fair minded scrutiny of the COR
respondence published can impute to her
any graver dereliction. She did exactly
what she was desired to do, but she did
it too much; and she abate1 nothing of
her activity after this activity was no
longer in request-in fact, after it had
become inconvenient.
Admitting now the urgency OF the Pres
dent's sentiments, would it no. lave snf-
feed him and satisfied the urbanites Of
official severity il he had asked for his
ambassadors resignation? Why proceed
to the extremity of removing both the
ambassador and the ambassadors wife,
and why achieve this result through the
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
BY Water to Mobile.

The Commercial club of Mobile is
engaged in promoting all plans that
look to the placing Of daily lines of
boats on the Warrior to carry coal and
iron and coke and steel from this dis
trict to the sea. Referring to an en-
terprise that Ohio capitalists are in
terested in Secretary Wilson of Mo-
biles Commercial club recently said:
This plan when adopted. as I know it
Will be with short while, means more
Tor Mobile and the entire state of Ala
bama than We can hardly imagine. 1t
will put coal at our very DOORS enable us
to coal large ocean-going craft, many of
them. which will put more money into
circulation and give us the product at a
less figure.
ANY one doubling the progress Mobile
is making as to improvements and other
| interests need only to visit the CONNER
oial club, where more letters of inquiry
from all over the country relative to Mo-
bile have been received than l have ever
known. The parties who are interested
in a money way with the coal project
down the Warrior river have requested
the names of the various manufactures.
the electric light plants and steamship
lines here who will use the coal, all of
which is now being tabulated and will be
forwarded at once"
If Mobile would pull with Birming-
ham to secure an appropriation this
winter large enough to overcome
Squaw Shoals it would see its dreams
quickly come true. 1t is dreaming of
having 100000 population when it can
| supply bunker coal at low rates to
steamers operating from Gulf, Mexican
and West Indian ports The only way
to get plenty of such coal bearing
transportation charges not exceeding
/ forty cents ton consists in securing
this winter an appropriation large
enough to overcome Squaw Shoals, for
when those shoals are overcome there
will be a, six-foot channel the year
round from the heart of this district to
the sea. An additional million dollars
in the rivers and harbors bill would
accomplish the great task. Mobile
should remember this and act accord
ingly. A resolution from its CONNER
cial club would be helpful, and letters
to Chairman Burton would keep the
Warrior from being overlooked in the
great rush to secure river appropria-
tons.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
ALABAMA PRESS

Sumter Sun: The man who saves money
on an engagement ring has business
eye on furniture and groceries and will
do to tie to.
Bullock County Breeze: A vagrant was
sold at auction in Kentucky the other
day. We have plenty here that we would
be glad to give away.
Andalusia News: colored minister ad-
vses all the negroes to remove to a
doubtful state.'' Such a move would
quickly remove the doubt.
Demopolis Times; Governor Conner
called on President Roosevelt last week
and says he was we'll pleased with Teddy.
There was no report from Teddy.
Eufaula Times: Even Italy is squaring
herself to take pull at the oil trust. 1t
would seem that John D. might as well
take his hat and go to the woods.
Gadsden Journal: Secretary Shaw came
to the relief of Wall street and made
money easy for the spectators, but or
binary folks still have to hustle for theirs
in the same old way.
Southern Aegis: Peary's recent trip to-
wards the North Pole beat Roosevelt S
recent trip to Panama all holler. The
President will have to go somewhere no.
body else has ever been if he wants to
keep up.
Marion County News All this talk
about a southern man running for Presi-
dent on the democratic ticket is tommy
rot. pure and simple. If the democrats
can't elect Bryan they can't elect any
body, and there you are.
Lamar Democrat: We do not remember
to have read of so many murders having
been committed in the same length of
time as there have been within the last
two months. 1t looks as If one-half of
the people are up in arms against the
other half.
Sumter County Call: Mrs. Lula b. Grow
ell the ma gazine writer who drank poison
and died, left a letter in which she ex-
nrsssed the visa that her sraDactx. should
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
ADRlFT WITH THE TIMES.

T is going to be hot finish between
the Christmas cigar and the Christ
mas tie. Slang is repugnant to us, but
there are times when we lose force by
speaking decorously. The Christmas ci-
gar you know. 1t has been a feature of
Christmas for long time and has made
living for thousands Of humorists who
had no consideration for the public. Along
with the constitution and the mother-in-
law joke the Christmas e.~ar Is part
of our national life, nonsectional and nom
seetarian. 1t is confined to no particular
locality but disports itself anywhere and
everywhere Now the Christmas tie is a
horse of another color, altho 1t is also
to a certain extent a fixed quantity and
standby for jokesniths. The Christ
mas tie changes, but the Christmas cigar
does not. The Christmas tie may be blue
one year and green the next, while the
Christmas cigar is uniformly bad. 1t is
a general impression that none but women
buy Christmas cigars and Christmas ties
and that married men are as a rule their
victims. This is correct. Christmas ties
and Christmas cigars are generally
classed among the useful" presents. That
in itself would be enough to make them
entirely unwelcome.
IN THE FOOLISH HOUSE.
Behold man with shattered mind,
His reason quite dethroned.
But recently he was returned
postage stamp he loaned.
Within a padded cell there raves
youngster in his teens
Who wrecked his mind subscribing to
The monthly magazines.
The woman's ward-distressing case
OF one who thoughtlessly
Confessed that she was older than
When she was twenty-three.
And here's a girl-oh, sad indeed
To suffer such a fatel
She always would mix candy with
The pickles that she ate.
A woman who rolls round and round in
skating rink every night on roller
skates is apt to be gddy.
After all, public life is largely matter
of bouquets and bricks
A REASON.
Too many sweets,
Forsooth would cloY
That's why fate sends
The dark alloy
OF sorrow to
Unite with Hiss
And hold us on
The ground, l wis.
Boni says he is unsplashed by Ameri-
can mud. He is spashed all over and
hasn't sense enough to know it.
In composing his swan song we would
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
Christmas Books.

II have never seen such a pretty as
sortpent of Christmas books, both novels
and the handsomely Illustrated holiday
books, as are offered this year." said
Henry Baruch yesterday. Books are al
ways among the most acceptable pres
ents that can be given. either to children,
young people CT old people, and this year
the class and the assortment from which
to choose is the largest on record.
Among the novelties is 'Hiawatha,' IL
Illustrated by Harrison Fisher, and L think
his drawings in this book are the pref
tiest I have ever seen, especially his In
dian heads Chrlsty has issued book he
calls American Girls which is also very
pretty book 1t shows the various types
of American girl, with appropriate verses
of poetry for each.
James Whitcomb Rileys When the
Heart Beats Young appeals to every one.
and is considered one of his best collec-
tons 1t is also illustrated.
Among the novels are The Doctor,
by Ralph Connor; Whispering Smith, by
Frank spearman; "A Fighting Chance by
r. W. Chambers; Half Rogue, by
Harold McGrath; Princess Maritza,' by
an unknown author, who writes under a
nom de plume
There is also any quantity of calenders
this year by Fisher Christy, HIATT, Gibson
and Life, all new and original drawings.
All of these things make the most ac-
eeptable Christmas presents, and they are
becoming more popular every year. OF
course there are hundreds of designs for
Christmas cards, and also books for the
children, such as Roosevelt Bears and
Buster Brown as well as 'Tige, His
Dog"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15

De given to President Roosevelt. Inc
value of the property is not mentioned,
and we can't say whether it is a pet bear
or poodle dog.
Centreville Press: President Roosevelt
is an unknown quantity. He touches the
popular chord of the nation, and is
praised and in the next act of his will
bring down the condemnation on his head
of the very people he had but short
time ago pleased. He is a man of whims
and there is no telling when one of them
will strike him.
Marion Standard: Our most prominent
northern neghbors who visit Alabama
first call ON Booker Washington at Tus-
kegee, they are next entertained by the
citizens OF Montgomery and the next
move is to pay their respects to the gov
ernor and state house officials. IL they
have time they give Birmingham and
Mobile an opportunity to do the slobber-
ing act.
Lanett News: It is amusing to notice
the manner in which Mr.. Bryan is intro
dueed to his audiences by the prominent
men in the democratic party. Each one
takes occasion to head off Mr.. Bryan's ut
terances on the subject of government
ownership of railroads by expressing his
own views on the utter impracticability
of such a plan and then trying to ex-
plain that really Mr. Bryan didn't mean
1t at all.
Greenville Living Truth The pistol tot
ing evil is on the increase and fines do
not have the desired effect. What is want
ed Is a pistol toter's license, the holder
of the license being forced to wear a
badge showing that he has taken out such
license, and the fellow who carries a
concealed pistol without having taken out
such license or fails to wear his badge
where 1t can easily be seen should be sem
fenced to hard labor for two years.
Alabama Courier: The President shows
in his recent message tendencies towards
dictatorship that is not surprising to the
people who have watched his course. He
grows that way more each year. He sent
a special message to Congress asking that
a bill be passed granting him permission
to remove any officer from the navy or
army at his own suggestion, without re-
course to court martial. This will hardly
be done. With a bill like this he could
easily make himself all-powerful.
Livingston Southern Home: Mr. Chap
pell Cory of Birmingham is spoken of as
the prospective private secretary of Gov
ernor Conner. Mr.. Cory has had four
years experience in that position. He
has been farmer teacher, lawyer, editor
and banker, and is a worthy representa-
tive of each of these vocations, having
filled them with such commendable abil-
ity as to become prominent and eff
Client factor in each. Mr.. Cory's appoint
ment would be a wise one for the in
coming governor to make, as the state
would thereby have the benefit of his
broad and intelligent views of public men
and affairs.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
THE WIN D.

BY Robert Louis Stevenson.
l saw you toss the kites on high
And blow the birds about the sky;
And all around / heard you pass,
Like ladies' skirts across the grass
O wind, a-blowing all day long,
O wind that sings so loud a song!
o wind, that sings so loud a song!
! saw the different things you did,
But always you yourself you hid
/ felt you push, l heard you call,
l could not see yourself at all
o wind, a-blowing all day long,
o wind, that sings so loud a sonxl
o you that are so strong and cold,
o blower, are YOU young or old?
Are you a beast of field and tree,
Or Just stronger child than ne?
O wind, a-blowing all day long,
Q wind that sings so loud q songl
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
THE TEDDYs HAVE 1T.
From the New York Press.

From the New York Press.
II confess I don't like this business!"
growled one of the fire-eaters. There
is Teddy McGovern, the greatest of
prizeighters; there is Teddy Allen, the
greatest of gambling house keepers;
there is Teddy Shonts, the greatest man
in Panama digging the big ditch; there
is Teddy Marks the greatest of theatre
cal promoters; there is Teddy Ransom,
the greatest justice of the peace in Jer-
sey City; there is Teddy Roosevelt, the
only President America ever had; there
is-but forget it, This country is run by
Teddy Teddy Teddy And yet there
was no Teddy until Roosevelt"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15

respectfully suggest to "Old F4ggers'
Grovesnor that he get Geor-e NJ Conan
to write the music.
TOPICS OF THE DAY.
Turk who 'scaped Thanksgiving day
Sees more trouble bent his way
Here lies simple spelling. dead.
Congress knocked 1t on the head
Tho tits time to twenty-three,
Platt just smiles and says, mot me-"
Colonel Bryan keeps so still,
People think he must be i'll.
Bellamy and his Maria
Frying pan into the fire.
When all Christmas rhymes are writ,
Readers won't be sad a bit.
Spite of what has gone before.
They still name them Theodore.
Congress can not solve the riddle,
Smoots again upon the gridde.
Man who probes his way to fame
Has a cinch upon the same.
Tho we've raised a mighty dust.
Standards still a healthy trust
The world is full of celebrated authors
of hard luck stories.
We don't see how Santa Claus can look
with favor on talking machines. and we
don't believe that he posed for those pic
lures in which advertisers represent him
as standing beside photograph with his
hand resting on a pile of records.
ANOTHER RECIPE.
Three meals a day,
No more, no less.
viii often bring
Much happiness.
Dreamers who like to sit before wood
fires and build air castles have been
coaxed out doors by the sunshine.
A Kentucky colonel confidentially lays
all the blame on rectified whisky and alb
solves straight whisky so completely that
we are lead to believe the latter as safe
to use as patent pipe.
TILTED.
The muse is off
Today-we know
Not where she did
Elect to go.
Alas she left
Us in the 1urch
And idly wait
Ing at the church.
A man mourned as dead has been found
alive and rich, which is much better.
The sugar trust was asked to contribute
$156,0OO more to Uncle Sam and did so.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
PHILETUS ASH
WHAT WE DRINK AND SMOKE.

From the Philadelphia Record.
Beer, whisky and tobacco have been
consumed so freely that the internal
revenue for the last fiscal year ran about
SO, 100000 above that of the year before
and $S,O00,e00 above the estimates made
last fall, when one-third of the-year had
passed. During the first quarter of the
current fiscal year the receipts went
more than s4,5O0,0OO above those of the
corresponding quarter in the last year,
and the commissioner estimates that al
though the tax is about to be removed
from alcahol used in the arts, the total
internal revenue collections in the present
year will rise to $500 600, 900, an increase of
$40 900, 600 over the last year.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15

OPERA PRICES so YEARS AGO.

From the New York Sun.
at the beginning of every season there
are the usual complaints about high prices
of seats at the opera" said a theatrical
man. "When =. T. Barnum brought Jenny
Lind over for her concert tour, beginning
in old Castle Garden, there was the same
cry about exorbitant prices. Tickets We're
announced at SO seat, yet some brought
as high as $25 and the auction sales
reached a total of more than $4,000.
THE New York public today does
not differ materially from that of 1850
Jenny Linds share of the receipts was
$4,000. which she divided among twelve
charities in this city one of the charities
was the fire department relief fund. which
she founded by a gift of $4,000
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15

orable positions, and their descendants
have continued to serve the state which
their fathers and grandfathefs helped to
build
During her eightyseven years of state
life Alabama has passed through many
trials and vicissitudes, and has had many
experiences. For almost a score of years
the Indians were giving trouble to the
people and the government. The war
with Mexico drew fair share of Ala
bama's sons, and the great war of 1S6l-G5
almost crushed her life out, but from
every trouble and encouragement she
has risen with renewed strength and uii-
quenched devotion. If we say that there
is no better state than Alabama and that
no state has a truer, drawer or better
citizenship we say only what our readers
already know May she see many more
natal anniversaries and be better and
stronger with each.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15
Old Saws.

Speaking of old saws" said a very
bright woman who was whistling at her
wcrk, you know some fellow wrote:
On a whistlng maid
And a growing hen
For work and aid
You may depend
"The old saw runs:
The girl that whistles
And the hen that crows
Will make their way
Wherever they 60.
Anyway, / find much comfort some-
times in blowing bubbles of song in a
little subdued whistling. I have friend
who keeps a canary that at times will
challenge him to singing whistling con-
test after night The way the little yellow
throat will try to hold his end is interest
ing indeed"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-15

Commander Peary gained twenty
pounds in his dash towards but not to
the north pole. This goes to show that
a dog diet is not by any means I'M
wholesome