Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-02-28
imagine. for instance, that. the home
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imagine, for instance, that the home
of Oliver Wadscuttle. the bloated mo.
nopolist, has been entered by burglars
who made OF with Is feet of lead pipe
and a marble clock. The news is re.
ported to the police, and the gum-shoe
men are instructed to call and see OH.
yer, discover just how much small
change he is willing to offer for the re-
turn of his valuables, and if the sum is
worth while, to bring in the guilty
man. Presumably, Mr.. Wadscuttle,
realizing his helpless position, agrees
to be shaken down. The bold sleuths
do not bother, greatly with the Holmes
method, my dear Dilly. They just
snoop about a bit, examine the scene
Of the heinous crime, and then go down
the street, enter house and drag Bill
the Bite from his warm bed.
: ''You will observe there is little de-
duction here. They have simply come
to the conclusion that Bill did the job,
and that if he didn't, it wasn't because
he wouldn't II he got chance, and
so they arrest him. Arrived at the sta
ton house Bill is gently hurried into
the squad room, and there a handy
bludgeon is taken from the wall and
Bill is presented with several severe
wallops on the head. If he confesses,
the deduction theory is abandoned and
Bill is taken to court for sentence; If
he doesn't, he is treated to more OF
the same until he does or is uncou-
scious. Then the only difference is that
Bill is sent to hospital on a stretcher
and the able sleuths go out and drag
in Prof. Bat Muldoon, and Bat goes
through the mill. One may really per-
ceive the efficacy of this method of de-
ductiOn. Dilly. 1t is only a question
Of time until one of two things occurs.
Either the detectives land the base
criminal or Mr.. Wadscuttle forgets
about the robbery and buys some new
pipe and another clock.
"The police method, my dear boy, is
based upon the theory that all men
are crooked, and that if they look in
nocent, they are all the more likely to
be guilty, for who but a guilty man
would think of trying to pass himself
OH as an innocent man? Besides it is
well-known that there are many crimes
that have never been discovered. Con-
sequently every man probably has done
something that he is ashamed of, and
by the ordinary method Of constabu.
larry deduction, if they miss him on
one thing, they are likely to get him
on something old, and thereby gain a
reputation for astuteness. That is why
Doogan. the ward man, is better
sleuth than Sherlock Holmes, for Doc
|Esan goes on the principle that if he
only keeps on arresting innocent men
and women long enough, he will even
tua1ly stumble on a crime that has
long been hidden. Thatiswhy, billy, you
may notice that your young friend, the
Epstein lad next door, is continually
being dragged away somewhere by
Doogan. Doogan is sure that if the
Vandergould family plate has been
stolen, the Epstein lad would have done
it if he had been older, and so he ar
rests him on general principles.
Contrast the Holmes method with
this course if YOU will. Mr.. Holmes
would have undoubtedly have taken a
few short jabs of the daffy mixture and
would then have wrapped UP some
cigar ashes in an envelope, put a mag
nifying glass on the Burnham's dog
Fido, and would have arrested Michael
Anderson within four hours. Of course
we have no surety that Holmes would
have been right, but still the great pur.
pose of detection would have been
achieved. Some one would have been
arrested. am not sure that do moi
like the police method best, but ill-ad.
vised persons, particularly the servile
and abandoned press, disagree with me
They would see the right man arrest
ed once in awhile. and several innocent
persons. who might have been guilty
left undisturbed."
But are not detectives of some
value to the community, dear uncle?'
queried little billy.
Indeed, yes,' said Uncle George
pleasantly, 'they are of as much use
as a board of naval strategy during 8
war in Manchuria."