Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1906-04-13
DRIFTwOOD
individual Opini0n.)
BY LUE F. VERNON.

Z Dx1FI~OOD 4
& individual Opinion) 3
= BY LUE F. VERNON. i
DriftwoOd burns on my hearth tonight
DriftwOod rugged and old and grew,
Gathered twixt tides in the dim twilight
Down on the shores of yesterday.
Red and violet blue are the flames,
The sun sinks deep in a sapphire sea.
DriftwOOd, what were the vessels names
Ships l watched from the wind-swepl
lea?
Zone was Hope. and she sailed away,
And one was Faith, and lost at sea-"
DriftwOod rugged and old and grey,
What of my life do you bring to me2
SO far l have never seen a cherry
bark or clam-shell watch anything.
If Christ was on Earth today what
pulpit would he occupy in Seattle or
Tacoma?
A woman who reads Driftwood says
l have "pop.eyes." Thank goodness
l am not bow.legged.
II some playwright will produce q
play in five acts in five new gowns, he
has made his fortune.
There is Buffalo Bill, House Bill
and Grocery Bill-but Olympia has
its "Big" Bill, and there you are.
What ever became of the factory to
be established in North Yakima for
extracting syrup from watermelons?
Some people never trouble about
their future. They are kept 90 busy
thinking about their past, you know.
When dog has q stub instead of a
tail, he must find it as hard to express
himself as q man who is deaf and
dumb.
A big fortune awaits the inventor of
q sewing machine that will collect
rents, repair family breaches and mend
bad manners.
The man who loses his collar-button
does not make any more fuss about it
than does the housewife who cannot
find her dish rag.
If the authors OF popular novels
keep on grinding ont their tales. thev
will have to make living selling their
books to one another.
The bill Of fare in many restaurants
should be changed TO read, "Trunk
Hinge steaks" instead OF Porter
house sirloin," and 90 on.
Now it is claimed that microbe
germs infest telephone receivers. Well,
in any sense they are not . menace to
those who talk through their hats.
Colored supplements come and 60
the Olympian. for instance-but the
Ore9onian goes on serenely from Sun
day to Sunday, without such . cover.
The average girl lords it so around
her home, that when she has married
and gone, her mother begins TO creep
out more. like mouse when the cat
is missing.
Waterbury, Coun., has a club to
suppress profanity. That town must
either be blessed with a perfect tele.
phone and steeet car service. or have
none at all.
An Eastern merchant advertised be
would shoe every doll brought to his
store on certain day. There were
1920 little girls took their dollies to
the store that day.
An Iowa woman who has been
dumb for seven years, regained hel
speech at o religious revival the Other
day, and put an end to her astounded
husbands dream of bliss.
The Washington Hotel in Seattle il
to be torn down. The public can res,
assured the prices will be turned ovel
to some other eating place in that city
without reduction or injury.
The Republican party was somewha,
divided at the recent city election 10
Seattle. It makes no difference, the
rank and file are led around by the
nose by horde OF ics.seekers.
Every woman, when she cooks three
meals day, and washes dishes after
ward, decides that the next time she
marries it will be to travelling man
one who is not homo more than once
a week to cook for.
Every farmer intends sometime tc
move to town and enjoy life; every
town man intends sometime to buy q
farm, move to the country and enjoy
life. The grass is always Q little
greener little farther ahead.
A beautiful elegantly dressed young
lady waltzed into our "den," Tuesday
and thought she was . princess. ]
took . tumble, however, when shs
asked permission 10 tie her shoe and
displayed hole in her stocking.
Lawyer (cross-examining witness)
"Where WAS your maid at the time
madam"
Witness: "She Was In my boudoi
arranging my hair"
Lawyer: "And were you there alsof'
Witness (indignsntly): "sir"
Women haven't q bit more curiosity
than men, I'm certain, but it's mani
tested in different lines. For instance
. woman might own q sewing machin
without finding out how it is made
but she wouldn't have q seamstress il
the house three hours without know
ing ell about her.