Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1906-01-25


vestigations and examinations by
Hugheses.-New York Press.
Another yellow dog" insurance fund
has been unearthed. There are enough
of 'em now to make a bench show
Philadelphia North American.
At So a year the Russian soldier is
doing, or is expected to do, more for
his money than anybody else in the
Empire.-Duluth News-Tribune.
A seat on the New York Stock Ex
change has sold for $SS,OOO. The man
who bought it must have been might
ly anxious to sit down.-Chicago Jour-
nal.
With Russell Sage. at 80 years of
age, able to make $4,000 a day, we
think it is about time for DR.. Osler
to back up some.-Charleston IS. c.
Post.
1t is now established that United
States Senator has to be both con-
victed and dead before "the courtesy
Of the Senate fails him.-New York
Evening Post.
Apparently the only thing that can
now save the revolution on the Isle
of Pines from oblivion is it's reprOduc-
ton on the comic opera stage.-Provi-
dence Journal.
The principal difference between
hazing and football is that if man
is hurt while playing football the 9th
er fellows do not run away and leave
him.-Chicago Tribune.
Senator Patterson has been fined
$1,000 for contempt Of the Colorado
Supreme Court. The expression OF
honest opinion sometimes comes high.
Jacksonville Times Union.
To the grafters: You may plumber
all Of the people part of the time you
may plumber part of the people all of
the time; but you cannot plumber all
of the people all of the time.-Kansas
City Star.
Mr.. Morton promises that the Equit
able will no longer seek new business
at the expense of its policy holders.
John A. Mccall must hold Mr.. Morton
in fine contempt as an amateur.-New
York World
NOrway's king will start in at a sal
airy Of 100000 year. If the referen-
dunn had chosen Il president, he would
have been expected to serve for about
$4,000, and be glad to get it.-Phila-
delphia Inquirer.
If Don Cipriano Castro did get That
$4,000, as described, he would do
we'll to leave Venezuela and set up ia
New York as a frenzied financier. Tai
ents such as his are wasted in Caracas.
Mexican Herald.
The farmer who can read Secretary
Wilson's glowing and auroral report
without feeling alfred rich and pros
porous may be set down as an incur
able and unimaginative pcssimist.-
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Mr.. Bailey, Of Texas, thinks there
are not four dishonest men in the
United States Senate. We nominate
Mr.. Bailey for President of the Anal
gamated Association Of Optimists.-
Chicago RecordHerald.
If China is determined to permit her
foreign residents to be prosecuted she
might as we'll tell the marines. There
are American, British. German, Ital-
ian and Japanese marines at Shang-
hal just now and they are all anxious
ly awaiting orders.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Old Russell Sage probably perform
ed his last financial squeeze when he
loaned money at 100 per cent to the
Wall street gamblers. They deserve
no better, but the old man was as
greedy as a hog in getting the last
cent of usury from the unfortunate
Birmingham Ledger.
Secretary Root will visit Brazil next
summer to strengthen the entente be-
tween the United States and the South
American countries through a greater
community of interest in the Monroe
doctrine; there is talk of a pan-repub-
lie alliance. Germany may sit up and
take notice-Houston Chronicle.
A lady clergyman tells us that in
twenty-five years women have in
creased in stature 21a inches and. men
have decreased in the same degree.
If this is true, it is not difficult to cal
culate how long it will be before man
will be utilized by woman merely as
lapdog or as a bangle for her brace
let.-Lo1lisville Courier Journal.
Let's be thankful, after all, that
our life insurance presidents have
never been so badly overpaid as the
Car Of Russia, with his salary Of
$6,750,OO0. or the Emperor Of Ger
many, with his labors as King Of Prus-
STA, to say nothing of other perquisites.
These sums, together with the big al
lowances given to princes and grand
dukes, make even the McCurdys look
like petty grafters.-Boston TRAN