davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22

But where are the papers, SAID Miss L'Es.rs,.
''You don't suppose that keep papers,"
Don't say that you have lost thern." pIes5,
David. 7l
Il haven't the faintest idea where the
are l IN a regular furry just moving - -. =
the place had no interest n the rarers - y
at them to see what they were and as fs-7- fs-7-
can remember, l threw them on the floor. or -.
them to Jenny It's just possible sat tber =
here now; but l shouldn't fancy So III ask fa-- -
when she comes in. -
"Ah. you little know how much raiserv r
might have saved a poor girl If you had bee-- -
little more thoughtful growled David and -
wrath seemed to cow the woman somewhat err.
name of MoIdaunt was the maiden name Of vor-
predecessor IN the fiat, who took the NAM i.
GwendOline Barnes Violet NOrdauuc IS her So,
GwendOline IS believed by all the world incIrd
her own mother, 70 have been led astrav and -
certificates which YOU handled So Eghtlv vorp
have cleared her name, and lifted q World Of Dr.:
from her poor sisters heart
Good Lord! How was I 10 know ali thar
Shrilled Miss L Estrange staring So II ws
Strauss that ruined Gwen Barnes, And this Viol-.
MOrdaunt was Gwen Barnes sister. Now vr-
say It, they were something alike. I always u,-
down that Strauss for a rOtter.
But why. since he married her
Married whom Strauss wasn'c the husband.
name on the marTiage-CeTtIncare Gwendolra
MOrdaunt was one, and the other Is Tar AS ~,
recOllect. was foreign name Won Somebody b
other"
Won" David also sprang 20 his feet Are vrn
sure, or might it have been van Oh trv now h
remember, One IS German, the other Dutchl"
" 1t might have been van or II might have been
won YOU can't expect one to remember after al
these names. But l remember the wornan's nam
GwendOine MOrdaunt, quite well because tfe
GwendOline reminded me Of Gwen Barnes and he
MOrdaunt reminded me of Miss Violet NOrdaun-
and the husbands name, l know, was Won or van
C7raraea 27gs IS
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22
Wit Brings the Relief

NOV, It takes only a superficial survey of the
pleasantly in question to discover that while
the salient feature in it is indeed pun it is rich in
various other elements which really constitute its
choicest part. What are these elenentS. Why it
IS PLAIN that the statesman has used the pun only
to convey his own sense of the situation as a prob
the Senator's Thought make fools of themselves bur
as civilized and social beings our business is first
to appreciate the scene of human folly in genial and
good-natured fashion, and secondly to conceal ones
impression by making amable plea for the un-
conscious delinquent, and thirdly, if possible for
ones own amusement well as for that of those
present. to embody in ones tactful plea little
point of wit to give the situation due relief That is
70 say, we have here genial appreciation of human
folly tact and the nimbe presence of mind which
issues III the rapid perception of resenblanceS
between widely different ideas. The pun is here
used only TO tip of the verbal feat and 10 give
1t point, The charm OF this pleasantly is. then.
that while 1t embodIeS pun 1t makes 1t wholly
SuoServlent to the more important clements OF
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22
SUNDAY MAGAZINE FOR JULY ~, 1900

was Strauss then that young lady, and now yOu-'
(which young lady? asked David.
"Whv hadn't been in the flat three days when
a Young lady, tall dark girl came, and practically
insulted me. She wanted to know what my
motive for coming into the flat and if the agent
of anyone, and if ! meant to puTlOin any papers
which | might find. Well, I'm not for taking
much sauce from another woman; for I've got red
hair as YOU can see for yourself; but somehow
| couldn't be hard on her-She had had some big
trouble | could tell a bit touched somewhere. too.
l thought; suspicious a Bird sick at the very
name of Strauss! She dropped to it all right that
was there to serve StrausS's ends, and she went
her bended knees to me, asking me not to do It.
| couldn't quite make out what it was all about,
or what there was between her and Strauss, for she
wouldn't tell me. 1t was something pretty strong,
for when | told Strauss about her visit, thought
the man was going to drop dead. Her name was NIO-
let Mordaunt. | remember it for MOrdaunt also
the family name of the woman in the marriage
certificate"
why did YOU not send this marriage certificate
to Violet Mordaunt, asked David, since you did
not give it to StrausS9"
Il would have sent it to her, I'm sure, but
didn't have her address. She did leave adj
dress that day she came; but, to tell the truth,
papersi seriously and Lord knows what became
of the address"
"Oh, good heavens how selfish and careless!"
groaned David.
Look here, young man, you come from Austria
lial' cried Miss LEStrange, bouncing up from her
chair. In London people look after themselves
and mind their own business, you see. We are as
kind hearted here they anywhere else; but
haven't the same leisure to be kind. tell you that
If had had the young ladys address, l should very
likely have sent her the papers; but / didn't and
that's all; so don't preach"
Well, better late than never" said David
Just give me the papers now, if you will, for
know her address,.
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22

me So YOU wouldn't believe. He never actually
came to the flat, for reason or other Dut nighC
after night, when the theaters opened IN SePtenl-
ber there he was, wanting to know II L had 1Ound
ANYTHING if | had prObed the cushions with hat
pins if had looked under the carpets, and the rest
of it. At last began to treat him bit ot-handedly,
| admit and before the third month was up, he
saws to me one night that if didn't find something
at once, he would have to cut OFT the allowance Ior
the rent | told him that he had put me there Tor
six months that | had made all arrangements, and
that he was an idiot. If he didn't know his mind,
| knew mine. Oh, we had a fine set-tO, can tell
YOU! He said that since had proved useless TO hl1
/ should have to pay my own rent; so, What WIN
ghosts and all, wOudn stay IN the place another
two days; and in going | gave 1t hot to that Mr..
Dibbn too"
What had Dibbin done?" asked David.
He hadn't done anything; but still l gave him
piece of my mind, for was wild.
Poor Dibbn He is still shaky from 1t. He
has mentioned to me that YOU went off with q noise
like catharine wheel But you never found any
papers at all in the flat!
"No-except one, or rather two, and those Strauss
never got"
Because didn't find them till the day after we
had had the row, when my trunks were ready to go,
and wasn't going to give them to him then, for his
check Besides, they didn't concern him; they
were only a marriage certificate and the certificate
of a birth which fell out of picture"
David sat up saying How do you mean, fell
out of picture'?"
"As we were carrying out the trunks, there
a bump, and of the pictures in the corridor
came down The boards at the back of it must
have been loose, for they fell out, and among them
was an envelOp with the two certificates IN 1t.
Now, bless my stars that ever | came to you,
said David This may be the very thing l
want
How many of you are after papers in that
fiat, l should really like to know. First there
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22

Indeed, to one bent examining into the matter,
nothing is more interesting than to observe how
nominal taboo holds its in the world of familiar
talk, whether by tongue pen. With what easy
and nonchalant triumph it sweeps the corridors of
through the glded salons of the rich and fashionable
in the huts of the poor and rustic! 1t is as much
home in the cabinet of the learned and fastidious
as ii is in the slums or in the pot-house.
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22

world unrelieved pun was the result though
even in this the mot was not altogether lack
ing in Piquancy. a particularly flat specimen IS
that in which the is represented as angry be-
cause it has been crossed so often. In either case
we find nothing but the slender thread of connection
to challenge notice and this can obviously
afford only meager type of pleasure On the other
hand look at this bit of pleasantly and observe the
superior quality OF the delight it gives.
Some one was saving before distinguished United
States Senator that he had once many years before
a throw a silver dollar across a wide
river. Retorting upon the protest of other men,
bers of the party, the Senator gravely pointed out
that before the war-the period in Question:
dollar notoriously went much farther than at the
present time.
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22

occasion OF reminding Queen Caroline
of his existence
Bishop Butler," exclaimed Her
Majesty. Why, | thought he was
dead
Not dead, Your Majesty. but bur
led, impressively retorted The faithful
friend
Here, again, we have pun. con-
siSting Of the taking The wnrd hnrief
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22
Here Is the Rich Pun

HERE, again, we have accessory riches in the
elements OF tact sentiment. the re-or courteous
and wonderful ingenuity 70 press q point without
oftenSe- Here zoo we have rich pun-the sort OF
pun that IS welcome everywhere, and that abun-
dainty deserves lis welcome.
II punS were uniformly the feeble. conreuptibs
things many people are pleased u represent them
Octave Thanet would scarcely have huilt one Of
her most interesting stories on q mere play o.
words, as she has done IN the case o tte beSetmen
OF the poor Swede. whose boss turns hlru of and
declares It viii be a cold dav before oe takes hin
back again After eating his soul ou- with ennl
the SWede becomes melancholy and seeks again
and again TO take his life His wife distracted with
grlet. at last, when particularly blrre~ day n
remembers the boSSS fatal word and sets OUT 70
lntercede IN her tormented husband -ehah, repre-
Sentlng 70 the now Modified patron ch- IS very
cold day, and that II Is time for h--- keep hs
word. Tins pun Is the very KEY % -ac plot.
In seeking, therefore. 70 detcrr-r- The status
OF the pun, II IS well remember th- one
the most useful Instruments IN the emory OF WI
by itself one of the slightest OF its pOnS, Il
yet capable OF giving point 70 plea-1cry such -s
lew other eSthetlC factors do, AMI reaches is
highest pitch OF effect IN graceful ubserv1eney
to higher and nObler elements OF interest which oy
the magic ot surprise II gathers togc-r and brings
To effective climax
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22
Beautified by Holy Writ

HOWEVER far back we push our researches into
- the past, find the pun blthely awaiting our
arrival. Nor has profane history a monopoly
OF the charms which the pun presents. The Savior
of men Himself pleased to dub His beloved
disciples fishers of men The mural inscriptions
of Egypt, no less than the bricks of Babylon and
Nineveh testify to the delight which the earliest
founders of civilization took in tracing faint lines of
resemblance between objects far asunder in es-
Sencc.
The great difficulty lies in the superficial atten-
ton which has been bestowed upon the function
OF the pun and upon its various manifestations
depending upon the other elements with which it
comes associated. pun in itself-a bare unreieved
pun-deserveS, let us hasten to admit, all the
contempt that has through the ages been showered
upon 1t. But-and here lies the grand distinction
not all puns bare and unrelieved. y goodly
proportion OF them come to yed in ample and
most becoming drapery. They come above all, as
the vehicle of something vastly more important
than themselves. When they come in this guise
they are worthy of being celebrated as one Of the
perennial joys and glories of human speech. The
comparison of one two bare puns with appro-
prately clothed ones will amply illustrate the diff
ference
When it was said upon the death of Foote. the
wit, that Death took him off, who took of all the
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22

IN both It's literal and its lgurarlVe senses. But
thing vastly more interesting than the mere play
OF words. There Is the tender concern and sorrow
OF the interlocutCr Tor his neglected friend. the
presence OF mind by which he avalls himself Of The
vantage presented by the occurrence Of the word
dead, which at once suggests the cosnare one OF
buried a handle by which gently bur effectively
overlooked an eIninently deservin- man.
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22

the witticisn. Such a pun IS a JOY forever
Recall, If YOU please, the WIrricism Of the
friend of Bishop Butler, who had beta
hoping many years in vain for the pro-
motion of that worthy churchman, and
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22

VIZ u pun VIIO Vi
topics of desultory controversy Y
like Mohammed's coffin. continu
hang, unsolved, in the mid-air of pc
dialectics. Its cousin, the conunC
though nominally on a par with it,
is actually below it in rank; for it
has never been accorded even the
honors of discussion. There is nothing
for that species of pleasantly but
humbly to accept its dictionary char
acterization, a low jest"
Not but that the pun is also dubbed
a low species of wit, but the verdict
rests on distinctly looser foundation,
If we are to Judge from its nonularitN.
New-York tribune., 1906-07-22

-7r1rAs1 on 31gs Is
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1906-08-28
HOW LAWSON SCRATCHES.
"rrenxied Finance" Copy Written or

"FrenEied Finance" Copy Written on
Brown Paper, Publisher Says.
Tom Lawson has done great mis-
sionary work In that be has saved
thousands Of suckers from Wall
street"
This Is the tribute Of John Adams
Thayer, one Of the publishers Of Every
body's Magazine, in which Lawsons
articles on "Frenzied Finance" ap-
Qeared, says the Kansas City Times.
Mr. Thayer was recently at the Union
depot in Kansas City, Mo-, in the pri-
vate car Of q. w, Wilder, part owner
Of Everybody's Magazine. They and
their families were returning from
Riverside Cal., to New York
Lawson ls one Of the most remarka-
bic men l ever met" said Mr.. Thayer.
He Is versatile and a dynamo of ell
ergy. You would be amused to see the
copy as 1t Is prepared by him for 'Fren-
Eied Finance 1t Is scratched and
scrlbbled on brown paper, and only
two persons In the world can read it,
his stenographer and himself. The ste
nographer copies 1t with a typewriter
before 1t Is sent to the printer.
1.-The writing Of 'Frenzied Finance Is
but an incident in Mr. Lawson's daily
work. While preparing an article he
spends about an hour day OH 1t. lie
writes rapidly. One day l went from
New York to Boston to talk with Mr..
Lawson about some advertising that
he was to place In the daily newspa-
pers Of the country. The deal involved
thousands Of dollars, and he was to
prepare the copy. l waited three days
before got an opportunity to see him.
And then he said:
81 have ten minutes. At 8 I must
go to ride with Mrs. Lawson
"In that time be scrlbbled the copy
that was to be used In a page adver-
tisement to cost thousands Of dollars"
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1906-08-28
What's in McClure's.

"The Story of Montana" the great
serial for the year, begun in the Au-
gust McCmre's, gains impetus as it
goes along From it's striking picture
of the early days of the commonwealth
it turns to the development of the
mining industry, the picturesque con-
ditions and enormous fortunes which
resulted, and the bitter feud that arose
between Marcus DAILY and William
A. Clark. The story Of the quarrel, Of
Clark's first attempts to reach the
United States Senate, Of his spectacul-
ar defeat, and of the Montana capi-
tai fight, is told in the September
McClure's. 1t makes one of the most
interesting pages in America history.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1906-08-28
Tho Cellar.

The good housckeepers cellar Is as
clean and we'll aired as her parlor. 1t
Is even more important than the par
lor. for Il damp. dark. dank, dingy,
urty cellar is the breeding place Of ty-
phoid fever, malaria, diphtheria and
other ailments
The point OF first Importance in q
cellar is to see that 1t Is we'll drained.
dry and paved with either stone or CO.
ment. Sometimes, veins Of water burst
up through cellar floors These must
be conducted away in drains. Care
must be taken to see that the cellar
drain Is never choked. If vegeta bles
have been kept In the cellar through
the winter, every vestige Of them must
be removed and the walls and ceiling
must be swept and whitewashed; then
clean all shelves. wash the floor and
air and dry thoroughly. Every day
during warm weather the cellar should
be well aired In the morning.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1906-08-28
House Cleaning.

IHe good hOusekeeper never tears
the whole house inside out at once. On
the contrary, she takes one floor at q
time, beginning ut the attic and de-
scendlng, last of all, TO the cellar. In
the attic, first, the waste paper. old
shoes, old garments and dilapidated
household utensils must be cleared
out. Everything for which no good
use can be found should be destroyed.
1t Is foolish to let old things that one
never uses accumulate around house.
Having got everything out Of the at
tic that can be removed sweep the cell
ing thoroughly, sweep and wipe the
walls, clean the woodwork and wash
the windows. The easiest and quickest
way to clean window glass is as fol-
lows: Take pail Of clean, warm wa
ter and pour into 1t about tablespoon
frA Of kerosene, stirring the oil into the
water. Have plenty of clean, soft
cloths and good sized soft channels
leather First wash the window with
the kerosene mixture, then dry 1t with
a cloth, polishing finally with the leath-
cr. This removes all lint. Wash the
floor Of your attic last, then let 1t sun
and dry, and 1t will be ready to have
Its belongings put back in.
Next day tackle the bedroom. Take
rugs, carpets, curtains, drapcrles and
mattresses into the open air and beat
and brush all dust out of them and
give them good summing. While they
are out clean the rooms as you did the
attic. TO cleanse vanished and oiled
woodwork and furniture pour some
kerosene npon q soft clean rag and rub
thoroughly. The work will be vel!
done, and the odor will soon pass away.
This Is the time to examine all bed
steads and the walls to see that no yer.
min are lodged therein. Here. too, the
good housekeeper will find kerosene In.
valuable. 1t will destroy vermin and
their eggs IL literally applied.
Carpets may be washed after they
are tackled down. Use warm water in
to which some liquid ammonia has
been poured, q scrubbing brush and
plenty Of clean dry cloths. =. ~
For the third day Of cleaning do the
parlor, front hall and stairs, after that
the dining room and kitchen and lastly
the ceNsr.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1906-08-28
Furs and Woolons.

Before putting away fur and wooden
garments they should be thoroughly
cleaned and repaired. White fur can
be cleaned by rubbing into 1t sawdust
saturated with gasoline. Rub dark
furs with sponge dipped in gasoline.
Be careful not to Use the gasoline near
fire or fame. After furs have been
cleaned and aired sew them up In cot
ton bags to keep moths out. Long cloth
coats and cloaks can be kept from
moths IN the same manner by sewing
them into full length cotton bags and
suspending them from hangers in the
closet. Blankets after being washed
and woolen articles may be wrapped
In old sheets In way that will protect
them entirely from moths, If none Of
these have already found lodgmcnt.
CASTOR woolen garments should be
brushed, wrapped in cotton cloths and
put away In the attic till fail, when
thsy mag b siysn t. the.poos.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1906-08-28

II loved her best" cried the Queen Of tho
East, who basis beneath Liberty's
light.
Her great ships came at her beck and
call. like mine own. In the day and
night.
and she called him home from the
west
Oh. would l could give her my lifeblood
now! All, me. but l loved her best!'
"I loved her best!" cried the Queen of the
Lakes as her tears fell like the rasa.
"Her magic growth haG Inc own growth
matched-and have I not known her
pain?
The flame gods scars have scared US
both, but the wounds are fresh on
her breast
Oh, would I could lend her my young
strength now! All me. but loved
her best!'
II loved her best!" cried tho Queen Of tho
"6he was sprightly and fair and she
charmed all men. for her songs were
merry and sweet.
But rent Is her raiment, and torn is her
hair, and her song is a cry dis
treSsed.
arms! All. me. but loved her
II loved her besti" And the chorus SWELL
ed In a sob from each compass point
As the cities Of all the slsterhood nnrde
haste to bind and enoint
''1f nhe lives, we shall show her." the
cities cried as they painted on NOR
cy's quest;
I'VE shall prove to the Maid Of the Gold
en- Gate we have always loved her
best!"
Denver Republican
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1906-08-28
ANOTHER GOVERNMENT Off
CIAL.
Surgeon Rupert Blue Of The Marine
Hospital Sarvice to Superintend
Sanitary Work At The James
town Exposition.

Norfolk, Va, Aug. 27.-Owning tc
the Government extensive partici
patton in. the jamestown Exposition
to be held on the shores of Hampton
Roads, Va, in 1907, officials at Wash
lngton have determined to put the sup.
ervision of the sanitary arrangements
under Government control
Following up this decision, Sur
geon General Wyman of the United
States Marine Hospital services has
appointed surgeon Rupert Blue
of that service, as Sanitary officer of
the jamestown Exposition. DR.. Blue IS
detail on this work was to take effect
some time ago, but on account of his
position on q medical board that was
in session at Washington, he has been
unable to report for duty at the Ex-
position until recently.
In connection with his work Sur
geon Blue said; cit is as necessary
Tor me to be present, while the build
lngs are being constructed as after
wards, as the installation of proper
sewage arrangements and vcntilating
apparatus is Of great Importance /"
An elaborate drainage system has been
established, and it is promised that
when the Exposition opens, that the
grounds will be absolutely free from
mosquitoes and other pests that might
arise from the lack Of proper sanitary
conditions.
At the time Of the San Francisco
disaster, when that city was in a state
of general decentralization, and when
ii seemed that contagion would break
ont there, and perhaps add other ter
rors to what the fire and earthquake
had already caused, Surgeon Blue was
dispatched post-haste to the scene of
the trouble and Immediately took
charge of the situation. The entire
work was under his care and by
heroic measures Il serious outbreak Of
fever was prevented.
The exposition is being built very
much like small city or town and it
is the intention Of the Marine IIospit-
nj service. to equip each building with
all the devices known to modern san
ltation. and Surgeon Blue is especial
~ commissioned to advise with the
architects and builders in this parti-
cular.
Dr. Blue Is one of the most noted
Surgeons in tn" Marine Hospital
service. He is Il native Of South Caro-
lima and br~ .lcr Of Victor Blue, who
became famous in the Cuban cam
paigns during the Spanish War.