Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1906-10-26

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"Arabella," called the father from
the head of the stairs, sis that young
man gone?" Yes, father. Complete
ly."
Teacher-Why did the ancients be-
lieve the earth TO be fiat? Bright Bow
Cause they didn't have no school
globes to prove 1t was round.
II, SIR" began Bragg, Jam a self
made man." YES" replied Wise, but
why apologize now? That won't help
matters. '-Philadelphia Press.
Mrs- Madison-How do you like your
new neighbors? Mrs. Dyer don't
know. | haven't tried to borrow any
thing yet.-Town and County.
Diggs-I understand that Higgins is
quite clever financier. Biggs-Mell,
he Isn't Why, that man never beat
anybody out Of cent In his life.
"Algy, don't you find married life
more expensive than bachelorhood?r
well, it may be more expensive than
rigidly single life, but it's cheaper thar
courtship.'
Senior Partner-There's one thing to
be said In favor of classical music.
Junior Partner-What Is that? Senior
Partner-The Office boy can't whistle II.
Chicago News
Mrs. Flip have just been talking
to a specialist, and he says my brain
vitality has all gone to my long hair.
Do you believe 1t? Flip-Well, ep-I
knew 1t had gone Detroit Free Press.
Medical Student-What did you OPP
crate on that man for? Eminent Sur
geon-Five hundred dollars. Medical
STUDENT mean, what did he have?
Eminent Surgeon-Five hundred dol
lars.-Puck
AT the Garage. -Boy-Mr. Smith is
telephoning for his machine. Can you
senu 1t to him to-day? Head Man
Don't see how we can. Why, this ma
chine is the only one around here fit to
use Life.
us there any available substitute for
RUBBER" asked the instructor of the
class. YES sir" answered Miss De
Muir, one of the fair goods. II think
stare or cape Is just as good. "-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Green-I cannot understand why De
Short wants a divorce. His wife had
nearly half million when he married
her. Brownies, and she has every
dollar Of 1t yet. That's the trouble
Chicago Daily News.
Eyes, I'm going to spend few weeks
at Kloseman's summer resort. My
stomach is all out of order, and need
rest" "Well, your stomach will get
a good rest there, too. l know the
place. "-Chicago Tribune.
~ suppose that some of your battle
scenes are very realistic?" said the
sympathizer. YES" said the bum actor,
IL have impersonated Napoleon at
Waterloo several times when real shells
City Times.
Mamma, what are twins2" asked lit
tie Bobby. "Oh, l know" chimed in
Dorothy, with all the superiority of an
elder sister. Twins is two babies just
the same age; three is triplets, four is
quadrupeds and five is centipedes. -
Harper's Weekly.
You'll have to fix the poem over be-
fore l can buy It," said the editor.
There appears to be something the
matter with its feet. 81 would have
you understand, sir" said the bard,
with dignity, that | am poet and not
chiropsdist. "-Cleveland Leader.
Tommy, what ancient king was it
who played on the fiddle while Rome
was burningY" Hector, ma'am. 4" mo,
no-not Hector" "Then 1t was Dock"
Duke? What Go you mean, Tommy"
well, then it must a. been Nero.
knowed 1t wuz somebody with a dogs
name"
A reporter of the Paris Matln tried
to purchase a genuine Rockefeller in
terview with a check for $1,000 He
failed. The proper way to make an
American millionaire talk is not to
offer him thousand dollars, but to try |
to ger thousand dollars away from
him.-Puck.
81 would like a pound of your golf
sausage" she said to the butcher. Golf |
sausage? Sorry, madam, but we don't
handle 1t. We have blood sausage,
liverwurst, ham sausage, and other
kinds, but no golf sausage" "Oh, dear,
I'm SO sorry. My husband said ne
much preferred the kind made in links"
Sentinel.
A little girl was out walking with her
aunt one day. The aunt bowed to a
man they were passing. "Who is ha |