The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-03-17

country to study natures book? Book
er-Yes, and from the size of her no.
tel bill it must be among the six best
sellers.-Ex.
Mrs. knicker-How long will you
De away this summer? Mrs. Booker
i don't know. l shall stay $1,000
at the seaside and $500 at the noun.
tains.-New York Sun.
Doctor TO pressing credltor)-If you
must bring your bill every day, at
least you might come with your head
tied up. so that people would think
you were a patientl-London Tit-Bits.
A young theologian named Fiddle
Refused to accept his degree:
For" said he, "'tis enough to bs Fid.
die,
Without being Fiddle D. D."
Puck.
benham-1 have had my life in.
sured for five thousand dollars in your
favor. Mrs. Benham-Well. IN be
glad to have the money, but / think
you've overestimated your value
Smart Set
Say" asked the FIRST messenger
boy, got any novels to swapY" II
got 'Snake-foot Dams Revenge re.
Piled the other. els it a long story p
Nav! We kin finish it easy in two
messages. "-Philadslphia Press.
What ID your order, STRIP asked
the waiter. Bring me some frenzied
eggs" said the man with the napkin
tucked under his chin. And presently
there was a distinctly audible scram-
bic In the kitchen.-Chicago Tribune.
At the Hub.-A New Yorker was
visiting in Boston. Seeing a parrot In
cage, he asked: Does Polly want
q crackerT Il require no sustenance
from you whatever" replied the Back
Bay bird, with MISUNDERSTANDING.
THAT Mrs. Snaggs is too much of
q ar1stycraft fur me to mingle Wild"
"How's thatT "Shs was knocked
down by pushcart and she had Il
put into the paper dat she was hit by
an mobile."-Detroit Free Press.
Boss" began the beggar, won't
yer help q poor" "See herev' in
terrupted Goodheart. II gave you
some money last week." "Well, gee
wh1z! amt yer earned any more
Observation-Disclosures Public Ledger.
Mother-Willie, you must stop ask.
ing your father questions. Don't you
see they annoy himl Willie-No'm;
1t amt my questions that annoy him.
It's the answers he can't give that
make him mad-Philadelphia Ledger.
"Sse here" cried the bill collector,
this bill I've been bringing here SO
often Is getting worn out and so Is
my patiencev Gee whiz, man." re-
piled the debtor, $50 is your welcome,
II you only knew itv'-Philadelphia
Press.
Miss Peechie-I want hammock
that will not break down. Polite clerk
Can't guarantee any of 'em, miss.
Miss Peechie-Why, that's strange!
Polite Clerk-Not at all. We'd do it If
you were a homely girl, but
Cleveland Leader.
II think" he said, that am now
just about even with the world"
even with the worldT" even with
the worldf Eyes. l figure that
have now reached point where l owe
just about as many people as l don't
owe."-Brooklyn Eagle.
Tramp-It is needless to ask you
the question, madame. You know
what l want. Lady-Yes, l know
what you want badly, but I've only
one bar Of soap in the house, and the
servant 10 using 1t. Come again some
other tme.-Glasgow Times.
Hs-As soon as we are married,
dearest, l will take out an endowment
insurance policy, SO that you may be
protected. She-Don't you think you'd
better take out an accident insurance
policy now, Georgef You haven't spo-
ken to father yet you know.-Phila-
dslphia Press.
You claim that the railways dis
eliminate against your YES" an
swered Farmer Corntossel. Three of
my neighbors have got damages for
COWS that were killed. I've let my
cattle stray all over the track and the
pesky engineer refuses to hit any one
of 'sm."-Washington Star.
A little boy once told his friend. an
other youngster, that his mother was
accustomed to give him a nickel every
morning 20 that he should take his
eod-nvsr oil In peace and quietness.
"wen, what do you do with itY' In
Quired the little friend. Mother puts
1t in a money-box until there Is a dol
lar" And what them why then
mother buys another bottle of cod.
liver oil with 1.-THE Pathfinder