New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-01-09


said to the jury?" "Oh," he Just said. This case
gentlemen, lies in a nutshell. You see yourselves
exactly how it stands. The judge is an Ehghsh-
man the prosecuting counsel is Enghshman'
the complainant is Englishman. But you are
Welsh and am Welsh, and the prisoner Is WELSH
Need say more? l leave it all to you
BALLADE OF GOOD TEMPER.
At Td times seems f5e ehis verH soTeY tried
You want to rip and tear and groWl and fight
And say some very foolish things beside
You think perhaps that you are justified
,. n kicking i up pretty Lively sRiaat
I wouldn't mind little thing like that
Perhaps the dinner isn't ready quite
Unless xo its bToed gou sss eat bite
You hate to have it shriveiled up and dried.
Rsye ersPsd and served n SWIMMING vim nine. fat
wouldn't mind a little thing like that
Or you imagine you've received slight,
That very naturally hurts your pride;
Or else go out and get held up at night
The other fellow wins your promised bride,
g bong6 6hf sits purpose 6uE Is
1 wouldn't mind little thing like that
L'Envoi
Friend. though. the. tyrant janitor deride g..
still make a calm philosophy your guide;
wouldn't mind little thing like that
The Editor of 1.-The Lamar (No) Democrat tells
his delinquent subscribers of his remissness The
subscriber comes to the Office and in voice
that is aimed to be built upon the style OF that OIL
Jack o. the Beanstalks giant when he says, L
smell bl-o-o-o-o-d. he wants to know how much
he owes on this paper. Tremblingly as an autumn
leaf and as gently a spring lamb, the meek ana
lowly prince of the sanctum looks through the lists
and hating informs the lordly delinquent that
the hook shows that he owes s.. With the air OF
an Eastern potentate the. aggrleVed reaoer o-
the 'countys favorite family paper hanos over
the three plunks Then he squares ms shouI-
der sticks out his chest and halts at the door.
You can stop it,, he says, and then he walks out
with the air of man who has just received sucl
a grievous wrong that he fears TO speak Tor rear
he'll lose control of himself The Editor sits meekly
down at his desk and writes for the personal col
umn next week: Mr.. John Haines, one of the
leading citizens of Roaring Prairie Township
made this office pleasant call last week
Strictly Business-'May I ask if am in the
market for bid for your affections?" asked the
youth who did everything in a businesslike way.
you must go to par before can take any stock
in your Offer answered the dutlfuI broker daush-
ter.-(Baltimore American
In the early days of Kansas Judge strang was
district Judge on the bench in Dodge City. Every
time he was absent the lawyers of Dodge City
would elect an old ex-Confederate colonel, prac-
Using law there. judge pro tenn A stranger
drifted into Dodge City and soon noticed that the
old rebel" was always chosen judge pro tenn.
how 1t about.
"Oh, we do it because we like to see the old
sardine take the oath of allegiance to the United
States said Sutton.
THE sTATEsMAN's RETURN.
They, waved the flags for snidgeley and the brass
And the air was rent with plaudits after every
bow he made 1,U t,or s+a.aso os Tho zor,ors
When their heroes came home proudly with
chained princes in the rear.
What Red be aBp Of HAD
When it seemed that she was headed for the rocks
Had he made a statute giving to the people new
And Restraining Greed forever from usurping Hon
ors rights?
No, great snidgeiey,s proud achievement in the
That for which the people hailed him. that for
which they called him great
Was the big appropriation for the dredging OF
With the splendid chance for grating while the
-7Chicago Record Herald.
, A Frenchwoman who from her fondness for mans
work dressed as a man and was employed for years
as a wagner became so noted among her fellows
for her strength that she known Bras de
Fer" She was the best boxer in her district, and
none of the men would venture bout with her
THE SOUTH WIND
The south wind keeps a-foon' me,
A-whisperin' an hummin
AS III il told each sleepin' tree
That summer was a-conin.
l know the apple blossoms walt
Until the buds swollen,
| know the clover blooms. sedate
Want bees to fling their pollen.
/ know the violets that browse
Below the wtheTed grasses
Don't hear the CAV south wind that vows
1t loves EN-, ii passes,
But still the warm south wind II blows
AS If 1t sang of summer
Till cricket fddiers swept their bows
With katydd for drummer.
know the fields are bare and clean,
But when the south winds sighin'
l look TO a cloth of green
Starred with the 1andeliOn:
| listen for the robins song
An for the thrushs trillin'.
An for a strain, all clear an long
From some lark's throat a-spillin'.
The south wind keeps a-foOln' me
Some way ! can't remember
That all these things never be