Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-05-27
Some of the Possibilities.

The whole prospect of British base bail
simply swarms with chances for unusual
happenings when the two countries get to-
gether at the game
There will be an English nine organized
at StratIord-on-Avon, of course, and
Wou.dn 1t be the spectacle to see the Ath-
letics- play the American game of base bail
at the home Of Shakespeare with Bender
whose ancestors were mighty red men of
the American forest, in Shakespeares time
dong the twirIng for the Philadelphia
team?
And what a swell chance 1t would offer
for the descendants of Irishmen to get
hunk with the British lion, Imagine Wild
Bill Donovan pitching game against some
British finger named PercivaI We're de
We're, and Bill holding down the British
outfit to no hits and no runs while his own
team slaughtered the ineffective Percival
to the tune of about forty hits. including
ten or twelve for all four of the bags
The teams of the Interoceanic League
would have about three sea voyages each
way every playing season, during which
they could rest and freshen up their bat
ting lamps by playing quoits on the decks
OF the steamers-and London Punch would
be in a fair way. after all of these cen
turtles, to get hold of some stuff wrapped
about the great American game worth
printing.
Imagine. too the change that would come
over the spirit of sporting reporting in the
English newspapers. The deadly solemnty
the llIdiullH SOIO1OSlIy, so TO speak, OF the
English style of sporting reporting would
soon give way to the blithe, gay spirit that
anilnates and permeates and pervades the
American game, and we'd have something
like this to say in the Liverpool Times:
''The glass-fnned toy dubberinoes of Liv-
erpool were fed to the pigs Yesterday by
the cadaverous and droolng Tigers from
Detroit, over the pond. The fiabby, one
lunged Hanky-panks who represent Liver
pool in the hopeless grab for the pennant
had their shins toasted good by the basi-
lisk-eyed cattle drivers from the west. They
stood around with gaping eyeballs like
hen on hot nail, and suffered the merct-
less Tigers to run the bases till their neckS
were long with thirst. Jinkins of the Liver
pool crab layout made more errors than he
could have made If he'd been trying to
write thesis on the fourth dimension, and
ii was JlNklns who led the melancholy pro-
cession TO the morgue. The Tigers, on the
other hand, were chock a-block full of pep
sky. While the Liverpool lubbers couldn't
hit brick wagon with a pick ak and ran
the bases like palbearers at a funeral, the
Tigers We're there with a bunch of WallOps
that couldn't have been moved away IN a
furniture van and the spunky way they
swped the sacks made their opponents look
like tuppenny marbles that have been run
over by the tram cars. The Liverpool Lum-
moxes didn't have welt in EN-. If three
base hits were growing on {he lack of
every mans neck they couldn't have reach
ed EN- with feather buster stuck on the
end of clothes prop. The NUTS stood
around and whisted for help, and they
were so weak that they couldn't have lifted
crock of alf-and-'alf if it had been all
foam Everything they did was yellow,
rocky and whang- blasted, like a stigsstossel
full of dogglegammon. The game was
whiskered and frostbitten so far as the
Lummoxes were concerned. The Liverpool
Lunlmoxes haven't got a chance in the
world for even piece of the change, and
there wasn't a minute during the bum
game when we didn't feel like picking up
and going uh-wy from there"
Oh no; there wouldn't be any chance to
start something" if the English folk got
tied up with the American game of BALL