The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1906-05-15

DIR. X. III. Whitaker.
no" how to fix. But She made me a
niue hot this morning.. al the break
fast table, though under the circum-
stances ! didn't say much. Putting
on n Of her sweetest smiles, she
said:
Nose, if / hadn't married you when
50 young, who knows but what old
Buck, when he comes. might fall in
love with me. and. instead of being
Mrs, Nose / might become the wife
Of the President"
TN wife of the President. the
devil" says /. IT YOU don't mind how
you talk. swear I'll Kick the bed out
of the parlor, break all the cups and
S1ucers, pour all the meal out of the
gum, and turn over the coffee pot on
the table cloth. And that amt all;
I'll throw you kitten over The garden
fence into the high weeds and break
it's neck
Lie declared if ] did all that she
would go home to her daddy, and
never stay With me another day. | tell
YOU, Buck, she's hard to handle, and
I'm glad that you didn't get her, for
she would have caused you to see
sights, and a sight of them.
As you may not have travelled much.
at least not been in large cities like
Raleigh, I take the liberty of throwing
out a few hints inc suggestions which
may serve you a good purpose While
in the Old North state.
on your arrival as the depot in
Raleigh lots of people Will be there,
all anxious to get Il peep at the Presi-
dent. Don't get excited. but look un-
concerned. as much as to say that you
have seen crowds before. After the
committee has placed You III a car
riage and while you are on your way
up Fayetteville street, it is quite likely
You Will be saluted by Il large number
Of ladies. who will be stationed on
piaZzaS and pOrticOS and crowded into
doors and windows, all along the
street, expressly to see you, ana try to
break your old bachelor gizard. You
must keep You hat off all the time,
and keep 4 bowling. so that all the dear
women can have it to say, in the years
TO oln they saw the Presidents top
most tol-knat. | have no doubt but
Wha it is the Wish and desire of many
of the ladies, that the old Henry Clay
custom Of kissing the mothers and the
babies should be revived While you are
here. The women who kissed Henry
Clay will never cease to love him, and
/ am right sure that the Henry Clay
example might be safely followed by
q good-looking young bachelor Pfesl-
dent. like yourself.
But. Buck. you must not suppose
the women have hired me to throw out
tfis suggestion. | viii say this, quot
ing the language of my friend Captain
X. 5. Tucker: North Carolina women
make the best wives in the world
But you come and look for yourself
and be your own Judge: for marrying
is sorter like swapping horses: YOU
stand a ID OF a good chance to get
bit.
If you would Liz. to take a few nice
n in your pockets to give to the
girls at Chapel Hill. call round at
w. II. WOode!lS at h old Griitice
stand, north of~the Presbyterian
church. Woodell is a clever fellow and
keeps lots of good things. If YOU
think you'll need = lunch, E. \. Whit
aker's on Hargett street. is the place
to get al al sorts of good things, such
as crackers, cheese, bologne sausage,
beef tongue, and all the etceteras. m
Guiding chewing tobacco. cigars. Wine,
gin and brandy. Whitaker is one of the /
most obliging fellows you ever saw.
and the danger is. if you dent watch,
YOU may take more of his liquids than
will be best for you on the occasion.
/ know from frequent experiences that
a man should be mighty careful when
he is off on a trip. and drinks strange
liquors.
When YOU get to Chapel Hill you
will be introduced to Governor Swain.
is considered a beauty. Don't
think when you see him, that ne IS
raining himself to keep up his good
looks simply because it's commence
ment week for, I assure YOU. his good
looks are natural. Yes, they were the
Gift of Him who knows how to give
GOOD gifts to his children, and. in his
case they were rightly bestowed. lor
his youth to the present Tune
he has held his oWn-still a beauty.
While at Chapel Hill you can let your
self out, and have a GOOD Time; lof
the widows and old maids Will all be
there and they will expect YOU TO pc
lively and fly around; and every one
of them will expect to snake nahdS
with Won. and some of them may eX-
pect YOU to play Henry Clay n KISS
them. Whatever comes to pass don !
eft scared. If it comes to kissing. JUST
vOur left arm around the waist
and draw the angel gently. yet flrfnlE
up to within kissing distance, ana
az gracefully and lovingly as you
know how. place the Sl"net or adof'-
ion upon the pouting lips: n you II
never be forgotten.
ON YOUR return to Raleigh, if you
desire to see a right bran new paper
at the Democratic Perss of1lce.
T-bera YOU will see our old frlend' X
n. Whitaker. Esq. who IS known llon5
TO California. as an editor. ana
of the present time IS supporting
Inc and his thirty million bill.
fall Won. Buck, he is making the tuf
fI1- Whitaker and Branch are Two
of the greatest men unhunS
Tn YOUR last note to me. must con
eesr Won sorter got me. You said: 4
80 - yoIente. be in Washington
, 80 7tb Why the thunder didn't
use words common folks can IN
1erstand? ! don't know "1lelher
was low Dutch or high Dutcl, alu
y a. ran,+ fonnd out yet what 1t
| aoaans didn't think a Democrat
meanT' use such nc outlandish nonsense
You can't expect anything better Of
cousin SWINE. of he Register, VINO IS
Known here as a Virginia Coppellleau
al +hetime using such Nolu9 q
r;lantic" sic semper tNIalllS. |,
..in hoe signo ~vinces." 'mui'ofl M