davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
Mashington-Light and Dirt

4 reader asks The Herald whether IL
Aus said its final word about Washing
tons uukempt, ill-lighted streets BY no
means. II expects 20 have more 10 say
along that line-3nd other lines purely
locaI-from time 70 time Already It feels
that perhaps the little il has said was not
altogether barren OF results The street
cleaning department had one busy week.
St least. and our principal thorough
fares are now not as unsightIy as they
were before. But there IS much vet 20 be
done. One cleaning is not enough. II We
are ever to have really clean strects-as
we proudly recall VIC once had In the
distant past--thc cleaning department
I.ust be kept eternally at it,
once clean, the streets should bc kept
clean. Work by fits and starts will not do
it, Regular. systematic work is the thing
required. Incidentally, the law or reguia-
ION against Htter,ng the streets needs
vigorous enforcement. and the dirty al
leys in all parts Of the city are fairly
Ieeking for attention.
Recurring TO the subject Of lighting.
everybody knows that Washington is net
as well lighted as It should be. The
fact is patent 10 an visitors. and is a
subject Of common comment. as well. With
Washingtonians returning from other
cities. This is the Capital of the Nation,
Bear that in mind. Washington should be
The best-lighted city in the country
Certainly We pay enough for light. Since
everybody admits that Washington is i'll
lighted, il must be the system adopted by
VJT governing body that is at fault. If
this be the case. why not correct if, and
Ut once?
There is hardly "a statue al the Capitol
and We are proud Of our statuary-that
can be recognized after twilight: and this
is but one o. many evidences OF a poorly
.ighted town.
a weil-known citizen. who has been
sr0ping about heretofore. sends this mes
sage 10 The Herald:
What The Hesail mas said about he dim Heb,.n-
t'e streets Of Washington win be appreciated
~ laIgo uunbas Of the citizens We arc hsDpiIg
surprised in this rlrt OF the ci.y by recent
caaBgc from The plain gas tir5 to incaudescsat
taruers The streets 81 The vicinity Of Third. L.
and FloJida avenue northwest are nov light"
WashHgton's general beauties con-
stautiy charm us; its glorious future
is steadily before US; We dream about it.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
Hearst's Appeal to Human Nature

Judge Grosscup. OF Chicago. who has
taken advanced ground on the subject Of
corporation control in many public ad-
dresses. told a Cincinnati audience the
other night that. whine personally desir-
ing the election of Hughes. he believed
Hearst would win the New York election.
because Hearst had human nature on his
side.
The remark Is shrewd and suggestive.
Il goes straight 10 the bottom of Hearst's
strength for his campaign has unqucs-
tionably appealed directly 20 fundamental
characteristics of human nature. good
as well as bad
To get an idea Of the clever way in
which Hearst plays upon human nature.
one has bTt to pick up any current issue
OF his New York paper and turn 10
the editorial page. Here We Gnd, 10 take
a recent example, an attack on Andrew
Carnegie. who has just come back from
Europe TO vote for Hughes, affOrding "A
good chance for Hearst's editor to remind
his readers that the Scotch philanthropist
was largely aided In the accumulation
OF his vast fortune by railroad rebates
and high tariff taxation, and that he is
now the chief beneficiary of the steel
trust. ~ prince of the plunderbunG, q"
Hearst's editor calls him, and remarks
that he stands for about everything in our
business life that Hearst IS lighting in his
newspapers. And on the same page is
noted the per cent dividend declared by
the ice trust, with the comment that this
is the same trust that last SUMMER pre-
tended to bc short of ice as an excuse
for increasing the price. No one has for
soften the suffering among the poor
caused by that shortage. whether real or
pretended, and the Hearst editor thrusts
the matter home by asking: Are you
going TO vote Tor the ice trust this fall
and for more suffering among the poor?"
Appeals of this character have ALWAYS
been more or less fetching in political cam
palgns. one has only to recall the fa-
miliar picture contrasting the prosperous
workingnan under protective tariff with
tho starved and furnishing family Of the
laborer under an imaginary free trade
regime 10 perceive a close analogy with
Hearst methods. Self-inteUest always
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
GoOsEBONEs.

81 Perkins takes hts goosehone down
An frewns a most portentous frown.
Good landl' says he. y never see
No winter seeh as this will be
The rain VIII fall. the winds Will blow.
An We shall have power OF snow.
Hi Whifile picks his goosebone up
An looks as playful as a pup.
says he. well. well. my gay gazelle.
were In fer jest the incest spell
of weather that ye've ever seen.
The winter viii be warm an green"
NOW here's two taies as much alike
As any you win chAnst 20 strike.
You Kin believe Hi. or side with ST.
They both are men no coin would buy.
But take both bones an guess midway
An YOU won't go far wrong. ] say.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
Brother Williams and tho 'rossu,n.

From TIC Atlanta Constitution
sayiu. Dem what laugh bcs laugh
last said Brother Williams Go the pos
suu that wIs grinniug nj him from the
trcutop. so YOU needn't ohvw 20 tooHcs
ter mo in Dat fashion, You Wei knows /
too knock -kneed ter climb Up CD gil YOU.
hut cf Td dcs been BON boW-lc-. ga
didn't have DC rheumatism. en wuzn I
bin in ono eye, cn wuz young "a What
7 use ter he. en- had a good. sarchin' dram
dis mawrjn YOU Sho' would have some
pin mo ter grin fer than what You got
uow-yCU trifiin'. gray devil. YOU, You
look lax a rat anyhow. en- half-suspccts
YOU dies HIchuliy no good 80
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
4 Shnrf sermon.

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
An old Scotch woman once said 10 her
pastor.
Dear me, Ministers max mucile ado
aboo; their hard work. buy what's two
bits Of sermon IN the week tae max up?
could dot myself
''Weel, Janet replied the minister.
good humoredly. Tets hear YOU try it,"
Come ava wi' a text. then" quoth
she.
He repeated with emphasis: 1t is bet
ter to dwell in the corner OF the housetOp
than with a brawling woman and In a
wide house.
Janet fired up instantly. What's that
ye say. sir@ Dac yc intend anything per
sonaI?"
stop, Stop" broke in her pastor; you
would never do for a minister, Janet; you
come over soon TO the application.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
Musie. cIassieal and otherwise

Herr Franz Koehler. leader of Pitts
burg's most famous orchestra. has
aroused a storm Of protest by his point
blank refusal TO interpose between his
classical effusions a few of "the latest and
most popular songs or the day"
Notwithstanding an unusually strong
petition. the leader fatty finally, and
emphatically declines to allow any rag
time" with his Wagnerian oubursts and
seeks TO push aside, as mere rubbish, all
the Charles X. Harris ilk. once and for
evermorc.
John Philip Sousa. whose warfare on
canned music" certainly stamps him in
delibly as a musician and an artist. 20
owes the greater part OF his popularity
to-day 70 his unparalleled success as "A
programme arranger. In his soul. Mr.
Sousa longs, of course, for nothing but
classical music with unpronounceable
names on the programme; but he is far
too good a Judge of human nature, and
the moods Of his auditors, 10 entirely
overlook tho necessity Of waltzing them
around again, Wilie-around. around,
around-as an encore. If nothing else.
The late Bill Nye declared that classical
music Is not near so bad as It sounds, %
and Herr K0ehler should remember that
We cannot all be students of Beethoven,
Mozart. and others we might mention Of
the same artistic temperament and sbil-
ity. The jolly Jingle Of the plebeian rag
time" may reach the appreciative inward
ness Of many poor soul too deficient in
intelligence. as that rather relative term
is accepted 10 mean, to receive it other
wise.
OF course, as for ourselves. and for
every other one, personally and individ-
Ually. we admit q preference for the
classical and the artistic il will not do
10 admit anything else. And SO, theoret-
ically, we uphold the professor, cordially
and like a brother with an equally SEN
siJive soul. But when considering the
less fortunately endowed. we are bound
to confess that a little Of the lighter side
Of musical genius is not always amiss
Prof Brander Matthews says the Eng
lsh language. as now spelled. is violent.
chaotic, illogical, and absurd" Let's see;
isn't there Il vacant post-office. judgeship,
or something lying around loose for the
professor?
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
Success Assured in Advance

From the Columbus tOhiol S,m.
Journalism Of the National Capital mas
received an important addition in The
Washington Herald founded by Mr. Scott
c. Bone. The Hcrald's news and editorial
columns appeal 10 intelligent, pure mind
cd, thinking people: its typography is
modest and pleasant TO the eye, while the
advertising columns Of its carly issues
show ali the symptoms Of ultimate sue
cess. There is room in Washington for
just such a dignified and uplifting news
paper as Mr.. Bone purposes publishing.
That his efforts win be appropriately re-
warded. both in honor and in profit. is
practically assured in advance.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
California; GnIInntrr.

From the Sunset Magazine.
They told me the story Of well-known
gentleman OF San Franciscn, who. charg-
ing through all the smoke and flames
and litter on the first day Of terror.
came upon a fashionable lady of his ae-
Quaintance trudging along the middle Of
the street in her bedroom slippers with
window curtain thrown over her
shoulders. He stopped his automobile to
offer her assistance explaining az the
same time that the auto was all he had
saved out Of the wreck. and even that
had been Communicated by the soIdiery.
i. too, have lost aIt, she sighed.
All but your beauty said he. with a
cOurtly bow.
And you all but your galiantry." she
retOrted. smiling.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
Fee and Foe.

From. H4rrer's Week.
In a suit recently tired III a Virginia
town a young lawyer Of limited expert
enea was addressing the jury oa a point
Of Law, when, good-naturedly, he turned
to opposing counsel man OF much more
experience than himself and asked:
That's right. believe Col Hopkins ~
WhereupOu, Hopkins. with a smile of
conscious superiority. replied:
Sir I have an Office in Richmond
wherein ] shall be delighted 10 enlighten
You on any point Of law for q cousidera-
ton.
The youthful attorney, not IN the least
abashed. took from his pocket "a half
dollar piece. which he offered Col. Hen
kns. with this remark:
No time like the present. Take this.
sir. tell US what you know, ana give me
the change"
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
PEOPLE OF NOTE.
-zcnor Drops out.

4 familiar figure will be missing from
the next Congress, that Of the Hon. WI
liam T. zcnor. Of indiana. Judge Zenor
has represented the Third district Of
Indiana Tor five consecutive terms. and
he Is one Of the few survivors OF that
race of Hoosier Democrats that kept
their party ia the ascendancy for years
and made Indiana the most important
battle ground IN the politics Of the coun-
try next 70 New York lie was defeated
for denomination this year by a Mr Cox,
and the methods employed by the fac
iional opposition were Of such a charac-
ter that Judge Zenor appeared TO be de-
toTmincd TO make the race any how
When IL became evident 90 him that his
independent candidacy would lose the
dis,riet 10 the Democrats he Withdrew.
Ills withdrawal occurred only a few days
ago and now he is giving loyal support
70 Cox.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
roIh I,r Incnh Rii.

Jacob Riis told a y. NJ. c. \. audience
in New York about his early struggle
and the origin of his friendship with
President Roosevelt
In the course Of a hard winter. said
Mr. Riis. when fashionable woman
had given q dinner to her lapdog. while
poor people starved. I wrote How The
Other Half Lives. One day "a stout man
with spectacies came 10 my Office at po-
lice headquarters. Not finding me. he less
his card, Theodore Roosevelt with this
message written upon il; ! have re1d
your book and I have COME ~ help.
And he did
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
Where We Lend Them.
IEom Ihe Philadelphia 3.

Fom Tie Philadelphia PTess.
After all. said the British manufac-
turer. on a visit to America. there's
nothing you make here that We 90 not
make In England
You're mistaken" replied the native:
there's one thing sou don't seem able
to make in England"
What is that. pray?'
Haste
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
All looked Auke.

tTom % LxcbanEe.
Uncle Epn had long boasted that ..e
had never needed the services of doc
tor, but now he was IN. and his neigh
bor felt that the time had come when
a physician should be called
Cone. now Uncle Eph. said she. I've
VIII call whomever you wish-you know
there's q good ailopath and a good
homeopath. and there's q new doctor, an
osteopath, Now. who'll you have?"
VAL drawled Uncle Eph. I dunno
81 # matters-they do say that all PATHS
lead to the grave"
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
THE RESULT

IL man LAYS brick for three days. -
says the teacher, ''at 8 day. and an
otheTS man carries mortar TO him at sl.35
a day during that time. what do they
make2"
They make the union send walking
delegate down 20 strike the job" answers
the little boy whose papa has had some
experience along those lines.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
ENearns Again Rampnnt.

Though his influential newspaper. the
salt Lake Tribune. tue lion. Thomas
Kearns is pouring day after day a broad
side Of grape and canister into the serted
ranks of the Mormons in Utah. and 1ll
through that section OF the Northwest.
where the Latter Day Saints constitute "a
powerful element in politics. Mr. Kearns
served a short term in the Senate from
Utah. ana avowedly was defeated for re-
election because he was not acceptable 20
the Mormon hierarchy This charge, IL
course, the church authorities denied.
and laid the blame To Mr. Kearus short
comings as a legislator IN spite Of the
reports concerning his character which
preceded his coming TO Washington, Mr
kearns cut respectable figure In the
Senate. Before he took his seat he was
represented as 4 coarse, untutorcd mil
lionaire. Of grotesque personality ana
awkward bearing. He was not q member
of the Senate long until IL waS discovered
that he WAS a man OF strong native abil-
IT'S, modest of deme3nOr and anxious 20
adapt himself as unostentatcouSIy as pos
siblc O. his new environment Only q
few years before he was elected To the
Senate, Mr kcarns had been "a day
laborcr ia the mines Of Utah and bv a
stroke OF rare good luck ne discovered
"a gold mine that made him "a twelve
times millionaire over night II was an
open secret at the time Of his election
that Mormon influences were responsible
Tor his sudden rise IN politics, and Tor the
first year or two Of his service in the
Senate he seemed 10 get along swim
mingly with tho church authorities He
and the Hon. Reed Smo0t. whost right o.
ihc seat the latter now holds will be
voted on soon after the opening Of the
EeXt session Of the Senate. had q quarrel
over patronage, and this led 20 the rue
tion IN Utah, which caused Kearus de-
feat for reelection. As soon as he roIl-
lied that he had 90 fight the Mormon
organization. he purchased the salt Lake
Tribune. which, under his ownership con-
tinues 10 be a first rate newspaper All.
kearns Is now Identified with the Ameri-
can party ~ Utah, which Is composed OF
both Republicans and Democrats. and
whose principal tenet is opposition ,o
AioTm0uism
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
Between Women.

rrom tIo FbiadCiphis Press
Yes" said Miss Passay he's an aw-
fully inquisitive bore He was trying 10
find out my age the other day, so lust
up ana told him I was cftv. That set
tied him.
We'll said Miss Pepprey Il guess
It is best TO be perfectly candid with a
fellow Of th2t SORT
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31

write about IL. and make speeches about
IT, All this is we'll Il makes for Greater
Washington. But let Us not be TOO self
satisfied Let Us not overlook the
things We ought 10 be ashamed Of Chief
among these are our ill-lightcd, dirty
streets
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
Gates Soc I'm Gue.sinr.

The news that John w GutCs has bgJ
lump sum of S30ej9 TO $1,000 or thu cleo
tion OF Hughes has sort Of upset the cal
culations among the politicians in Wash
ingtOn ON the New York campaign. The
feeling was beginning TO grow strong
among political experts here that Hcarat
would win. But John w Gates was never
known TO lose an election bot and h,. has
Wagered hundreds OF thousands on poliU-
cal contests. It Is recalled now how to-
ward tho middle OF October IN the cam
paIgn OF 1895. when the chances seemed to
favor Bryan Overwhelmingly Gates made
bets at 10 ! on Mckinley aggrcgatip.s
several hundred thousand dollars Nearly
everybody at that time thought he WIS
merely a wild partisan who was willing tn
lose his money In behalf of the cause.
Gates is one Of the few big plmngers who
backed Higgins against Herrick in the
last gubernatorial contest in New York.
Facts like these ara causing some Hearst
betters In Washington To hedge since they
have learned Of Gates heavy betting on
Hughes
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
Can't BE Fooled.

II don't want the custom OF all the peo
pie, - declared the first trust magnate.
,"Oh, come now said the second trust
nagnate.
Honest, Don't YOU Tecollect what Lin
coin said about all Of the pe0ple2'
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
4 LIMIT.

a horse. horse, Ny kingdom for 4
horse" shouted King Richard.
Sire suggested a courtler. removing
his goggles. take nay auto and ride I'm Il
against the foe
out upon thee" h0aTsely replied the
kinS. This Is war; this isn't butcheTing
establishment WILBUR NESBTT.
Copyright. 1895. b vs.. y. Ncsbiil
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
WEDNESDAY. OCTOBER 81, 1906.
Political Indenendenee.

Inc SiguCfS OF tie Declaration OF IN
dependence solennIy asserted. in that i'm
mortal document, that Che time had ar
rived when, in the course Of human
events. there should be a dissolution OF
the bonds between tho United States and
the mother country In very much the
same spirit thousands of American voters
seem to believe that the time has arrived
when they should dissolve the bonds that
have hitherto attached them to their po-
fiscal parties
This spirit OF political independence
which has been manifestly increasing dur
ing the past few years. viii apparently
reach high-water mark in New York
state al the approaching election. The
party harness has been thrown from
many . stslwart voters back. aEa even
the workngmen are resentng the intima-
tion that they can be driven to the
polls like dumb cattle The old-time party
canvasses. which had all the voters classi-
ned long before election day. are no longer
to be relied upon. Men are thinking and
acting for themselves. and the task of the
political leader was never quite so difficult
as now. The voters are viewing men and
principles from their own standpoint. the
result being that the outcome is almost
everywhere ciouded with uncertainty until
the closing Of the polls.
The underlying cause for this condition
of affairs may be the spread of popular
intelligence or il may be some other
cause. Whatever the reason. the fact re-
mains that never before in our national
history was there the same necessity for
independent and right-minded action as
exists to-day. This Is especially true as
regards the sO-called conservative class.
The time has passed when the believer
in social order ana good government can
sit supinely. disTegardng the duty which
he owes 10 himself and 10 his country.
The forces OF Tadicalism and socialism
are aroused. Their uprising may be due
10 evil conditions. but even should this
be the case, the remedies for those con-
ditions should not be applied by an ele-
3nent which knows not how to govern.
We are not prepared TO admit that the
times are out o. joint. as loud-mouthcd
agitators claim. On the contrary, evil
dences Of prosperity abound and are wis.,
Die in all strata of society. The fact re-
mains, however, that appeals are being
made to passion and envy, and unless the
conservative element of the country makes
itself felt at the polls there IS no telling
what the result may be. The voting must
be done independently OF previous party
affiliations, II necessary. but Il is of vital
Importance that the votes be cast. Other
wise the nation viii ind that a Pandora r
box has been opened. with a thousand
consequent Ills
The time has passed when politics caa
be indinerently regarded. The day has
come when believers in right thinking.
right acting, and right living must stand
together shoulder 70 shoulder at the polls
and not sit separately in their comfortable
homes. Il is in their power to keep the
ship Of state upon her safe and traditional
course. II they DO not do their duty they
win have no one but themselves to blame
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
>nvtnE His Money.
OH tie Philadelphia Ledger.

FIlm tIe IUiIaueIphia Lcd6cr.
An Irishman. passing through thc wood
in a lonely part Of the country. was ac-
costed by highwasman who, thrustlnr
a rc.oIver in bis face. said.
your money or your life,
The Irishman. trembling with fear. re-
piled:
Take ne loife- Take me loife. I'm say
ing me money for me old age
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
In Low Esteem.

Lend me q hundred, old man.
Cant do it
I'll pay you six per cent interest
Say. If I thought you'd pay six per
cent Of the principal I'd let you have
the money"
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
= Host in Himself.

From III. ClVeland Leader
The Baltimore American taunungly calls
Ohio's attention 10 the fact that there
viii soon D. three New York men in the
Cabinet Ohio doesn't think it necessary
10 send anybody 70 help William Taft.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31

we have not taken the trouble to trace
Count Boni's pedigree very far back, but
We are convinced that he Is a direct de-
scendant OF that weIl-knoWn old-time
character. the gentiemanly giant who kill
ed the goose that laid the golden egg.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31

The public will find that the Standard
Oil. though much maligned. has the pa
tience Of job" says a lawyer That
ought 70 encourage Mr. Rockefeller. Job
had many trials, but came cut on top
at last
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
Thompson.s stormy career.


The diplomatic career Of the Hen. J. r.
Thompson. Ambassador 20 Mexico. has
been a stormy one indeed. Mark Hanna
was responsible for MI Thompson's en-
trance into the diplomatic corps. The lat
ter dead-loclCed the legislature OF Ne
braska for long time with the late
Editor RosewateT. Of the Omaha Bee. in
q fierce Senatorial contest, and f. looked
at one time as it the Republicans would
lcse that Senate seat Mr. Hanna was
then master OF the Republican party. and
from bis office In Washington he fixed up
a deal for Thompson 10 withdraw from
the race in order that the deadlock might
be broken. For this sacrifice Thompson
WAS 70 BE- rewarded with tho Ambassa-
dorship to Mexico whenever Gen Powell
Clayton should retire from that post Il
So happened. however. that the doughty
Arkansas statesman did not care to re-
tire from the diplomatic service. even to
please hiS old friend Hanna. and it 50
feii out That air Thompson had 20 ac-
cePt the post Of Ambassador 10 Brazil
He came back from Rio Janeiro about q
year aeo. and requested that be b. trans
ferred 10 Mexico. because he Was having
some trouble ~ she Brazilian capital
His case hung fire for quite "a time. but
finally Gen. Clayton agreed To resign and
thus make room for the Nebraskan Now
Mr Thompson. il seems. is having trou-
bic IN Mexico. and may have TO answer
charges 10 be preferred against him at
the state Department Mr. Thompson
amassed a large fortune by conducting
railroad eating houses in the West before
he entered the diplomatic service
The Washington herald., 1906-10-31
Rekfrnint.

Marvellous man. the President, Tx
hibits some new idea every day
That's what. m the New York cam
paign everybody is calling everybody else
"a liar, and yet he keeps out OF il"