davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-08-14
Stomach TROUBLES arc COnsi,pai,O'

Stomach Troubles arc Consi,pai'or,
No one can reasonably hope for goOc
digestion wheI the buUes are eonst'-
paied Mr.. Chas BALDWIN Of I'd
vaudeville. III ssyt - suffered from
chronic eonsi patton Ebc stomach
troubles for severAi yeATs, bu, thEuks
50 Chamberlain otomset AnC Liver
Tablets am almost eurec Why not
get . package Of these tablets aS3 get
well ans stay well Price 5 esnts.
For sale By eli oruEEists
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-08-14

Major BAmm editor and manager
Of The COnstitu,iousilsi Emibsnes
Ky when he wac here+ly attacked
-four years sgo 10y pil'E bought bpI
u B0ckIsn's Ainics Sslrs. 81 which
be SsJs: 1T eJr,d me 90 ten dsys and
no trouble since Qlicksst healer Of
burns, sores. cute AID uo.nds 25. =,
al drug Ftorss
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-08-14
SPECIAL OCCASIONS.

$3.50 Hot Springs. Arb, on sal,
daily, ninety dsys
si8.S5 MoateaRlr, Tenn. on sale Jolly
~ 20. 81, 81. Ans, IS. II; limit
Aux. 81 extension Oct 81.
5000 Richmond, Va, on sale sept
2,S.t, o; limit sept 10
si7 sS Memphis. Tenn, ON sale sept.
., 10. II, u; limit SrpI ~.
t3t.S5 Toronto, Ont on sal- Sept.
~, -. IL, IS, limit sept. q;
extension o. Oct q
No trouble TO ansWvr questions.
Excursion rates to other points
LimiIs, schedules, Pullman accom.
modA,iohs and oil detailed informs.
,,on TO atove or other points cheerfully
furnished. either on application in per.
son os By malt to
FRANK 4. BOiLSTON,
nlsttieI Passenger Agent. lSs West Bay
street., Jaeksahville, Fla
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-08-14
CnH DIRECTORY For Sale.

We have = R0mber OF eopiet Of
BURR Cry Directory for sale ct The
Sun Office. II Il handy reference
bPOk for business ana professional
men. giving the names q residents.
Wth street and humber. Price Kedue-
Cd 70 81
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-08-14
UNasesssArv tEpenss.

Aeats attach, Of collie and diarrAosa
come on ui,Aoa' wsrnipg add prompt
relief must b. obtained There n nd
necessity Of iBeorTiug the expense ai q
physleianS service IN such easrs II
ChsmbeFssins Cole. Cholera and
plarrhosa Remedy s a. hand A doe
~ TIE remedy Sil relieve the palleal
estoFs ecctor eoa'd arrive Ia Ia.
never bset known % isii. svsa IN tAs
noss severe and daagsroas sasss. asa
% hnlly sAeald b. uiiAeat II. Yer
sals b. az afaegsst.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-08-14

NOTCH ~ APPLICATION FCR TAX
ntl1n uNntR sHCTIoN % CHATTEl
go LAWS Of ftORipA
Mousse - asruoy siVea shei M A 4 nsAl
rsrVAesrr ~ tan Certncate No "a
dAiea ne AN az 81 Jaw. A. n isat has
aisA al ceFttoGaR n mJ oe1cs aAA
hsA nste Apeaestio1 tee tNs DEED - 1900 ii
ecccfdaacc sta hu SAX certnAeaas en-
efaces tos fosloulaa acscftosd pexncerty slta.
aird u AlsreaA eeaaty rorsiA tcuu
TIE sela tnst uetuI assesset 81 The date a.
-. ..sancr % sscA csruecats b ne nAns q
~ kArsk
tnlrss 49, ceFtnlsate stal ~ teeeszre &C..
ctHelea - Aa 40 Nrea -. $3.50 LhfqeIz %
ttf "a "a - AatNtt A u AZ
Nttcse AZ 0tf.at p4Eat4ra AL "a a.
tte 80 taf ~ 40, A = isa
- csss c,ssass csa's Asslss q. "a
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-08-14
CASTORIA
For snsants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
si sr.': 'c: ., &1H2ZEza


Fof, Riley HANS Aug 1.-The Ar
Kansas troops arrived In camp sG'
ufday rherv ~as no extra duty a.
The camp SATURDAY o,hsT han tae
tsspssiion Of the troopa
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-08-14

"sSe FbT NHos ne ON oHiTst
There "a Isston O. ihs work u the
thufty iSfDsS h. khDws that the
bright sunshlns nsy itsi bot DAY aud
hs pTFpaTFs for the showsn which are
- liGbis a. f0llOw ~ & shO0ld De
with s'sO hopssipid DJ,.utsry.
disTrhu"s and rho.srs Bofbos may at
tSrt some nsmbsT " the Loms Nith.
oot sammy CbSnbSrls Cole,
ChoIsfa add DiarrhDes Kennedy which
10 the beet knOwB medicine for thee
dlsssses, should HlwsJs be- kept Ut
hand 80 imnsd,sts treatment 10 nee
ssssy, sud Delay mSJ prove fatal
FoT 'sls ~ ali druggists
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-08-14
ATLANTIC COAST LINE
Excursion Rates
PROH JACKSONVILLE.
neftHEEcT tn
Washington and all Points East

$3.50 sen francisco. Cal. on sale
daily limit Oct 81.
sll.75 Atlantic CITY. n. J., on sale
daily, limit Oct. 81.
s4S.0S Niagara FAll', ". y. on sale
daily limit Oct. 81
$500 Washington, d G.. on sale
daily, limit Oct. 81
$3.50 Denver Colo, on sale daily I;
limit O,t 81
eS4.7j Bar HArbor. Ne, on Sale daily (;
limit Oct 81
$3.50; Chiesgo, IT., on Gale daily 1;
limit Oet 81.
sss.S5 WtighIsvllle. y, G.. on nle
daily limit Oct 81
s5i. 10 Saratoga Springs. n Y. on
sale daily limit Oct 81.
The Washington times., 1906-05-13

the fool. the worse chance or getting
into an asylum"
That was just IL. saw I'm a fash
that had all along 9een going in the
wrong line in playing Up TO them with
more extravaganza and absurdities
Ny outrageous tempers. all my Wild
waste or good money with the adver-
used foods and advertised medicines.
wouldn't 90 the trick. though the&
might nave proved any man as mad =
a March hare. They were willing -
make al sorts OF excuses for me. =
Ions Is I merely behaved like Il. o.oI-
Then came your wonderful tip that
gave me the secret az last. Z tou
want every body 10 think you mad. 4ou
have only 70 live according to reasbn.
The moment saw this the thing was
done We're all 50 rrightfuIv SYM
pathetic 70 eccentriclty. so horribly
hostile 10 sense and truth. As soon as
/ began 20 be reasonable they we're
ready 10 put ne away. removed =
garment because I didn't want 10 wear
superauous clothing on hot dsv
They shook their heads over me AZ
once / rose from the table as soon
as 1 had had enough. and left a dining
room with the atmosphere Of a kitchen
for the pure air outside. was madder
than ever But where was the mad
man? Choose between this silly people
stufhng themselves with indigestion
and the wise man with a care lJr his
health Was / less wise. when + said
nothing when 7 happened To have n.sth-
ing 10 say7 Why. the finest order n
the world IS founded on rule q
silence; and who was the sage who
said ne had sometimes repented OF
talking, never of holding his tongue7
Ally treatment Of my workpeople
capped the climaN-ln fact. il has sent
me 10 the mad house at last Yet 0ri,-i+
IS il bat touch OF pure reason in
human relations? You know the i'm
mortal maxim. the finest contribution
Of the ages 10 the science OF being.
From each. according to his powers:
10 each. according to his needs II
Is whole gospel 10 the higher lie.
Yet YOU nave only 10 act on it to find
yourself IN madman-s cell
We very soon had Tom al llbsr+v
Nothing could withstand the array Of
facts which his friend collected and
smusgled out. and which / got pub
lisE-d in papers
There Is but one drawback: NOR
sam himself. 1 regret TO say, remains
there 10 TINS day. II is regarded as a
hopeless case 1 am publishing this
Al last. and. am bound to add. a
despairing effort to procure his re-
Lease
The Washington times., 1906-05-13

He'd no right 70 be. poor devil. I
assure YOU I cut /; as low as 7 pos
si5iy could Did you ever happen 70
look at the soles OF his chndren's
shoes?"
Tut, tut said the solicitor. but
one OF the doe:ors gave him a warning
look.
The irreductble niniraum-that's all
want FOR them. Why. even now they
Eet fresh meat only three times a
week"
Stun and nonsense" said the sole
i'or, losing his temper again. '.There
do you come in?~
only after the others. OF course.
But I've gone on getting board and
lodging. 80 far"
Very good. very good. indeed
said the mad doctor. trying TO pose
him on the other case. The ditcher
can do his days work after all. bat
what about the two Old dereicts who
can't do a stroke and get i've shilI-
ings more. not TO speak OF Jelly and
port VINE rom ine mouse
You see they want It more.
They are so entirely useless"
SO catireIy helpless. too. I do assure
you
DO you call that paying people ac-
cording TO their services
NO only paying them according TO
their wants"
= give him UP" said the colonel.
when this came TO his ears. II was
as good as done now. Each OF the
doctors saw him separately. and wrote
his certificate. and the certificates
were laid before a justice OF the peace.
All three were for detention. and in
due time ne was ready to be taken
away.
The comedy or the transaction was
exquisite. They thought they were
foollng him when they persuaded him
10 accompany them in a carriage for a
short drive. He knew he was fooIing
them when he assented 10 their pro
posal TO call on an old acquaintance.
and tie carriage drew UP at the door
Of the very asylum in which ouc friend
was confined Sam had expressed a
wish for my company. and I was ac-
commodated with a seat on the box.
After the quiet completion Of the for
malities. in another room. he was hand
ed over to the urbane proprietor Of the
establishment. They promised 10 call
for him soon. He begged them not
20 hurry and we drove away I had
no opportunity of speaking 10 him. but
he gave me a wink OF triumph which
! shall never forget. Ana when I got
home found a letter somehow con-
trived TO get posted. and this was
how II ran.
Dear Dick: Glory, I've done # at
last. By the time you get this I shall
be undg the same roof with our poor
chum. and hard at work on his case
Wen have him out in no time and
bring that old villain, the major. to
the stool OF repentance.
But burn this as soon as YOU have
read It. and don't give me away by
any premature disclosures.
II was slow work at Rrst, I must
say and I was feeling as tired Of It
as you were. but. after all. the farce
has given me infinite delight. And
now for my secret-the secret 1 could
not confde to you for fear you should
spoil the game. You remember that
day when I was so down in the dumps
and you said something without know
ing It. which put me on the right tack7
What you said was this: The bigger
The Washington times., 1906-05-13

gang the baronet's wife. the lord a
the manor's daughter. and so on. my
seIf-by accidents dra vyIng-roorn min
strel tyou know the type. and young
fellow in orders. who was so regular
that We used 10 call hin, the curate-
in-charge The chatter was in full
flow when. TO our surprise. Sam drop
ped in.
lie said very little az s=st. but bust
led about with the uufhns. and with
an occasional sigh O WEAKNESS. look
ed longingly toward IN. door
You are very silent, said thu old
lady in a railyinS tonc.
II don't happen 20 have anything to
say" he returned sweetly.
They exchanged meaning glances
and shook their heads. Presently hs
took a volume OF Half Hours With
the Best Authors" and asked Us Il we
would care to listen to a rational word.
And without waiting for an answer
he began 10 read some awful rigmar-
ole from an old Spectator on the friv-
oIity OF modern fashionable converse
ton.
II was short and sharp work at last.
The general practitioner called in the
mad doctor-the one who had done
Toms business-and even the poor old
colonel was Obliged 10 scquiesce.
though not without a final effort He
removed Sam 10 a small farm belong
ing to the family IN the same quarter
OF the country as our place.
There's not much hope. I fear" he
said to me. with tears in his eyes: but
my balm VIII be there 10 look after
him, and the active employment may
give the poor lad another chance
1t was no go At the farm he went
on more outrageously than ever. He
began by raising the wages OF the
agricultural laborers all around. and.
what was worse. giving most OF those
who were able to do the least A
ditcher. with family OF FIVE who had
rubbed on for years at fifteen shnlings
and his firewood-the current wages
OF the country-was instantly raised
10 a pound and his Goals. At the same
time an old couple. almost bedridden.
who lived mainly on pittance from
the parish and scraps from the houses.
which they had 70 fetch IN ell wealth
ers. were advanced to twenty-five shii-
lings and put under the care of a nurse
provided by their employer The milk
allowance from the house was con-
tinued- but Sam actually carried il
himself TO save the old gaffer the toll
of mounting the hill This. by the way.
made the ditcher extremely discon-
tented. He began 10 shake his head
over his master. with the rest. and to
declare he ought to be put away. In
fact. he loudly expressed his readiness
70 'go into the box" against him.
should anything OF that sort be re-
quired
The doctors and family lawyer,
who now had his finger in the pie.
pressed Sam hard on this point. He
was deaf TO all argument. though al
ways With the suavity which was the
most exaspe-ating thing about him.
1T viii raise wages all over the
country" they urged. dealing first
with the ditchers' case.
so much the better; that's just
what l want 20 do"
But 1t won't leave a penny % profit
for The estate at the end of the year.
Then we'd better give up farming
and take tc something else"
The man was vey well satisfied
before
The Washington times., 1906-05-13
McCURDY WRITES A POEM

Richard \. McCurdy. who recently re-
signed his lucrative and not overly
srduous job as president OF a big life
Insurance company in New York. has
broken into the ranks OF the poets-juSt
for amusement he says-and has written
"A Bacillian Romance" dedicated 10 a
sanitary association There are ntns
verses on this order.
Bacillus admired Bacteria.
And he thought her uncon1monIv in.
TIL an attack of acute hysteria
Broke uD the ideal combine.
And she flew down the throat Of tn. can
tain
or popular baseball nine. 81
The Washington times., 1906-05-13

suggest the project Of A new edition
of that we'l-known publication. Some
Difficulties OF Belief"
II all went for nothing. The family
were startled, no doubt. but. &, only
for the prudential reasons already
mentioned. they made no sign es doing
what he wanted. When I sought Aim
as usual IN his room he seemed gloomy
in the extreme
Hang 'em!' he said. What more
Will they have? I'm at the end OF my
tether."
just what think"
I'm have another 20 at EN-. fo- ali
that But I must change the bowling.
o. the tactics. at any rate
Il really begin TO fancy It's no 20"
That's not Ike you"
What's the matter with lt7r
TO turn tail"
No; I only mean
You only mean you've forgotten q
poor devil-your friend as well as mine
biting his nails on in that horrible
hole. tell you he worries me in my
dreams. And. mark nv words. n anv-
think happens 10 MIN worse VIII hap
pen 20 US
Ny dear Sam. what are you driv-
ing att"
He'll do something 70 himself n
they keep him there much longer And
II re let him be mu-dered-for that's
what It's coming to-he Il walk"
'Banuuos ghost"
You tire me-
You are certainly mad enough. IN
all reason"
Wen. why don't they play Up to
me?''
It's funny" said; there was
nothing the matter with poor Tom:
and see where he = now, The bigger
the crank the worse the chance. one
might almost say"
We'll. do say it-say It again" he
said. Frightening UP as II struck with
a sudden idea.
What on earth DO you mean7"
Never mind; say IT again"
did so.
"Thatl DO" and he snapped his
fingers with huge satisfaction and
danced about the room.
1 felt really uneasy about him.
You're quite sure You haven't been
carrying this thing on too long?"
Perhaps so: but I shan't have to
carry IT on much longer. Good night"
But really do explain. won't your
Go away"
And I had 70 leave It so. His be-
havior changed entirely In the course
of the next few days. All the way
wsrdness and violence vanished. He
was hail fellow with anybody. cour-
teous and gentle to the last degree.
hard working 10 a fault. The adver-
usements were swept into limbo, the
authors testimonials were sent about
their business. and the study OF their
works was replaced by that OF the
''Critique of Pure Reason" He play
ed his rubber with the rest Of US. and
conducted himself with so
much sweetness and light that small
dinner party was given to celebrate
his recovery. and his relative. the coll
onel. was asked.
It was a sultry evening and the win
iows of the dining room were thrown
open. AS Sam and I strolled in from
he lawn after the second bell, the
table looked wonderfully pretty under
he rose-colored shades. The colonel
vas with Us. Sam talked weather and
items from the evening
The Washington times., 1906-05-13

paper IN way. that seemed % put the
old gentleman entirely az his ease.
We entered the dra wing room. which
also communicated with the lawn. As
a mark OF favor. Sam was asked 10
take down the hostess. and he smiled
az though IN grateful acknowledgement
OF the attention. Then. without a word
Of warning or the slightest change OF
countenauce. he Qureuy took OF his
dress coat and offered his shirt-sleevod
arm to the old lady with A bow She
was too utterly upset TO decline It:
and. stiH discussing the beauty OF the
evening with the easiest manner IN the
world. se hauled her IN.
II nearly wrecked the dinner at the
start. The terrified woman could hard
" mutter the responses. and the col
creI and the head OF the house ex-
changed looks Of CONSERVATION. II was
impossible to pass II over IN silence.
Yet the major was evidently at a loss
as 10 the right thing 10 say. At length.
ne ventured on:
Dinner hrs:. ny Fnby. billiards
after. n YOU don't mind"
Thanks; but I don't think I'll play
tonight. it's so warm
In all my life have never sat down
n r moro wretched. uncomfortable
meal. They were naturally unwilling.
in the circumstances. 10 make a scene
about II, but they wrre silent and en-
barrassed. as though hasiJating be-
tween the impulse To pitch him ont.
with coat after him. or to offer him
the long-desired strait -waIstcoat in ex-
change
He alone seemed wholly unmoved.
And as TO conversation. 7 am bound TO
say have rarely heard him in better
form.
The courses succeeded each other in
gloomy procession. as at an Egyptian
banquet of the dead. He worked his
way through them with perfect self
possession until It came to the third
remove. when he arose with a bow
to the whole company and made his
way to the door.
Wont you finish your dinner" And.
passing again into the drawing room.
he resumed his coat and finally ap-
peared on the lawn again. IN rapt OBJ
servation Of the moon. Aren't YOU
playing It rather low down on us?" 1
said when the wretched business was
all over, and we had our usual meet
ing I'm his room. 1 was stin in fun
sympathy with his purpose. but I
must say I could not help feeling for
the company. too.
I'm playing it according to the
rules-the new ones. Ton to one they
would stand It a week longer: will
that do?''
L threw Up my window before turn
ing in. The wicked uncle was show
ing the colonel to the gate. The dear
old chap seemed much distressed.
Give him one more chance"
heard the colonel say. ut would be
such dreadful blow to his poor
mother"
"One more. then. for her sake, col
onel' but only one I have my own
family to think Of"
There was knock at my door 1t
was my poor chum. He seemed quite
upset.
Read that-you see there's no time
to lose" and th-usting a bit OF dirty
paper through the chink. he went back
to his room.
1t bore these words IN lead pencil.
Look alive. Sam"
Our hostess held her weakly tea
party next day. There was the usual
The Washington times., 1906-05-13

I'm done for IN no time Il they taks
me al that
The offer OF a tsE days rest put
HIM IN A real temper. as threatening
unnecessary delay. He now had an
upset with the chief on some frivolous
p-etext-of course entirely unconnect-
ed with the real matter In hand
and gave if 10 him with a straightness
that left nothing TO be desired. Then
they wrote to his relatives. One OF
these caIne-Colonel birmingham. a
good old fellow. but should say rath-
er soft. Then Sam began his wretch
ed by-play again.
he took the colonel by the arm.
trotted him all over the grounds. and
sounded the praises Of the tutor and
his family. The old chap was mysti-
fed: and Il seemed bit 600 deep for
the others, too. At any rate. they
never thought or making an excuse for
putting him away. or even turning
him oua. I fancy they were unwilling
TO have a second AFFAIR OF the same
sort so soon after the first II might
get the place a bad name.
He wished them all anywhere for
fools a. our next private conference.
and afterward plunged into greater
extravagances than ever by way OF
forcing the pace. He began to read
all advertisements IN the papers al
any rate thosA relating TO food and
health-and professed 20 regard them
with almost religious veneratIon as
the witnesses OF truth. There was
nothing which he was not ready 20 be
lieve IN this line, OF to do. He spent
much Of his leisure in Ieaping over
fence as A test Of the efficacy OF his
diet. And on days when the result
seemed satisfactory he asked us. ~
a particular favor. TO address him rs
Sunny Sam. He changed his bill OF
fare every morning and he may be
said 70 have breakfasted on fads.
When they offered him meat he
pushed II from him and walled out
n supplication for protene. He clam
ored for nuts at the most unreason-
able hour. literally threw a dish OF
asparagus TO the dogs. wallowed in
raspberry Juice and mineral waters.
and professed TO regard his progress
in the absorption OF albumen as 9th
ers regard their progress in virtue.
When he wanted another slice Of
toast he used the idiouc formula,
Pass the breadstuffs."
There was no limit TO IT. He or
dered a monster Weighing apparatus
and pocket tape. and used them at
every meal. You would find him at
lunch in his solitary chair. nibbling
a banana. and waiting to leave of at
the turn Of the scale.
When anything went wrong with
him-and, OF course, something wen
wrong, pretty well every day-he tried
to cure himself with advertised medi-
cines. HIS room became a sort o.
museum Of these preparations. The
walls were almost repapered with tes-
timonials, pinned up under headings
that seemed to include all the Ills in
the heirship OF flesh. Now and then
he invited strange beings TO his room
understood 70 be patentees-and Of
fered them their own preparations as
light observation-disclosures invariably. I
thought, TO their satisfaction. He
tabulated hve-and-twenty prescrip-
tions for dyspepsia, each warranted
as the only way TO salvation. The
earnestness with which he discussed
this conflict of testimony seemed to