davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
NED BRACE TALKS ABOUT THE SITUATION
in ALABAMA AND IN NATIONAL POLITICS

the Senate, and use his influence to de-
feat the choice of the people In primary.
How much Governor=elect Conner loves
Johnston Is not known. but It has been
whispered about fer many moons that he
Is not joyously enthusiastic In his ad-
miration of Bankhead
However. we shall see what we shall
see.
With the great masses of the people of
the state I hope to see Alabama's two
venerable senators fill out the full terms
to which they shall be unanimously elect
ed by the January legislature.
And this reminds me of a story a clever
drummer told the other day.
Il had a dream last night" said he Il
dreamed that 1t was the year 1890 1 was
sitting on the veranda of the little hotel
in Fayette, Ala, when a funeral process
sion hove in sight and slowly passed. Be-
hind the hearse and in front of the car
riages walked two sprightly looking fell
lows. turned and asked whose funeral
1t was
That Is the funeral of Col John
Bankhead. statesman who served many
years in Congress with great distinction,
who did volum 3 fer his state in river
and harbor improvements and In getting
public buildings. and who was one of
the most useful and able men Alabama
has ever produced
And who are the men behind the
hearse?' I asked.
Don't you know them7 my COM
panion exclaimed The one on the right
is Johnnie Morgan-the other, Eddie Pet
tus.'
And then I dreamed I was sitting in
front of the Hillman in Birmingham at
later period still, when similar scene
presented itself and I asked the same
question.
That, replied my companion. is the
funeral of former Governor Joseph F.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Johnston, gallant Confederate soldier.
a man of great ability. one who made
magnificent governor of his state and
was showered with political and other
honors'
And who are those who follow the
procession?
Johnnie Morgan and Eddie Pettus.'
was the answer.
Then awoke. It was a queer dream.
wasn't IT,"
Seriously speaking. John Bankhead has
done more In a practical way for Ala
bama than any man the state has had
IN Congress in two score years. Ala
bama is state of natural wealth and
Of industries which have and which will
continue to need development. From the
national government Bankhead has gotten
Tor Alabama as much governmental en-
enlargement in proportion as any other
state in the Union has secured. Given op-
portunty, he will get more His good
roads proposition is not only practical.
but is taking hold. so to speak, in every
state of the Union.
Bankhead Is a man who does some-
thing.
In national politics it is beginning to
look like Secretary of the Treasury
Shaw is forging to the front as pros
peedve republican nominee. President
Roosevelt seems to be hands off as be-
tween Shaw and Taft, and Shaw Is maxi
ing gains among the financial and busl-
ness people.
OF course, Bryan will be the democrats
nominee, and If he will but keep in his
speeches, to the advocacy of those things
which can be accomplished, he will be
the next President He is practically
nominated. He should be elected.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

~ OLITIc5 is indeed q queer game.
~ full of tricks and sehemesi and
many humbugs infest its pastures
to feed upon the juicy growth of its fer
Utilization.
As a mere looker-on, It appears that
there has been and continues to be much
scheming in the United States senatorial
matter.
To go back a bit in tine, It appeared
months ago that certain candidate
would surely be elected governor. 1t was
believed that this candidate had slated
two men. In order. for appointment ia
the United States Senate, in event of
vacancy occurring during his term. There
being much possibility of vacancy be-
cause of the extremely advanced age of
both Alabama senators and the legisla-
ture only meeting once In four years, the
state executive committee resolved to sub
NIT the matter of suceession-if vacancy
oeeurred-to the people. In other words,
the committee wanted the people to say,
IN one two order. who shall, the governor
appoint in the event of retirement or
death of Morgan or Pettus, or both.
nc PSopio FOleu ana declared Inen-
selves. Now the state conventlon-after
the people have selected-votes to dsap-
prove the action of the late committee,
but recommends that the governor APP
point in accordance with the wishes of
the people as expressed at the late pri-
mary adding, however. that such appoint
ment or appointments continue and be
effective only until the meeting of the
next regular or extraordinary session of
the legislature"
That sentence is significant. 1t would
appear to mean that somebody some
where has a large butcher knife out for
Uncle" John Bankhead or Joe Johnston.
1t means that the governor is authorized
and 1t is, indeed, suggested to him that
he might quickly call an extra session of
the legislature, in event of vacancy In
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
House Numbers.

II wish the City Council would compel
owners of houses TO number them,' said
a new arrival In town.
II had occasion to visit a residence on
certain avenue few nights ago and
was obliged to make inquiries before
could locate the house, although I knew
the number.
1T Is extremely embarrassing to walk
on to persons porch and begin making
inquipies for the place you seek. You feel
yourself an intruder, especially in such
season of the year as now, when the porch
is generally occupied by sweethearts.
How such obviously necessary require
ments are so long overlooked is very
strange, and 1t serves to stamp the brand
of provincialism upon a city that Is other
wise extremely cosmopolitan"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
Theatrical Man compIlmented.

II heard a man pay Manager McArdle
of the Gayety theatre a peculiar compli-
ment recently" said an attache of the
theatre In Birmingham. 1.-THE man talking
to me was advance agent for one of the
largest musical comedies which will come
through Birmingham this year and he said
teen Or twenty years. During all that
time he had never known him to make
single statement that was not true, make
a promise that he did not carry out. OF
to do anything of which he might be
ashamed.
II consider that quite a compliment
in fact II is a compliment that any one
would appreciate"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
Political Suicide.

Elsewhere In the Age-Herald will be
found this morning thoughtful arti-
Gle over the signature of Sydney J.
Bowie ca an important subject. Mr..
Bowie is no longer In politics, but his
interest In the welfare of his native
state has suffered no diminution. This
leads him to take up subject that
the next legislature cannot afford to
ignore.
Briefly speaking, Mr.. Bowie shows
that the cumulative poll tax puts a
premium on political suicide. He could
have added that it has already filed
the state with 100000 whites who are
dead to the electorate and full citizen
ship. He does show that voluntary
poll tax does rob the public schools of
a large sum annually. It thus pro-
notes illiteracy as well as political SUI
icide.
The legislature should not forget
that the constitution of 1901 was not
considered infallible when it was
made. The men who made it actually
invited amendments from time to time
by smoothing the way for their accom-
plishment. An amendment may be
proposed by three-ifths of each house,
1t may be voted on at the next general
election, or at special election to be
called within ninety days after the adj
journment of the legislature. A ma
jority of the votes cast upon the
amendment will ratify it-instead Of
a majority of all votes cast at a gen
eral election. In the address of the
committee of the constitutional con
vention having the subject of amend
ments in charge the members of Il
say: 1.-THE excitement attending gen
eral elections for officials usually pre-
vents fair consideration of amend
failure of even the wisest measures
for lack of interest in them when they
are voted on Under the new constitu
ton the people cannot be unduly de
layed In molding their organic law to
their wishes, nor be compelled to con
slider amendments amidst the heat and
partisanship of political campaigns
They actually anticipated and invited
amendments.
II the constitution of 1901 is to be
kept representative of public senti
ment, it must be amended. The volun
tary cumulative poll tax must be
changed to ward off political suicide
The school districts must be given the
right of unlimited local taxation, at
their own discretion, in order to reduce
the states fearful percentage of illit-
eracy We stand in danger of becom.
ing in 1910 the most illiterate st;se In
the country. Other amendments may
be wise, All should be submitted The
proposal of amendments by the legis.
lature is but formal step. 1t decides
nothing. 1t simply gives the people
an opportunity to say what they want
II is the referendum, and ii cannot be
too freely utilized.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
ALWAYS THE WAY.

From the Philadelphia Press.
Don't you want to take chance on
this lovely silver shaving set?" asked
the fair attendant at the church bazaar.
Not me- replied Sinnex.- I'D never
win that
self
''o' but do; that's why I say I'd never
win It. It's bound to go to some fellow
who has use for it."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
Cuba's Crisis at Hand.

Today Secretary Taft and Acting
Secretary of State Bacon will start by
rail bound to Key West, from which
point they will sail across narrow, wa
tiers to Havana. They will then be on
the spot to see how impotent the Pal
ma government is, and how hopeless
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
MODERN UTILITY.

From the Washington Star.
I'VE utilize every portion of the animal
except the squeal' said the proprietor of
the Chicago abattoir
IT'S pity responded the visitor.
that you can't get that on the market,
too. 1t would save wear and tear on
the consumer in discussing the cost of
meat"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New York Press.
A woman would rather have false teeth
than big feet
Being in love is five parts pet names and
five parts giggles.
Hardly any man with wife can afford
any more extravaganza
As often as not a girl picks out hus-
band by the way he waltzes.
A comfort about being cross-eyed is a
man can look at a pretty girl without her
wanting to yell for the police.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
PRESS POINTS

Baltimore News: Such criminal exploit
as that at Akely, Mimi, In which gang
held up the town and robbed the bank,
is greatly facilitated by our system of
abandoning every locality to its own de-
vices In the matter of police protection.
Train hold-ups and bank robberies do not
happen in Canada. because criminals
know that under the system there all
the resources of authority will be in
simultaneously in operation and pursuit
will be immediate, systematic and un-
ceasing.
Shreveport Times: The world appears
to be becoming more simple every day.
First there was the simple life and now
there is simple spelling.
Pensacola Journal: Secretary Taft be-
lieves in the regulation" of the trusts;
but who is to regulate the regulators?
Houston POST An Indiana man has just
died at the advanced age of 81 and it is
said he had never taken bath in his
life He must have been the original popu-
list
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
BOOK BY BIRMINGHAM AUTHOR.

The Neale Publishing company announce
the publication of "Latter-Day Sinners"
by Alice Kate Roland of Birmingham. The
book will be put on sale in Birmingham,
and review will shortly appear in The
Age-Herald
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Dancing is to be taught in the pub
lie schools of Cleveland, Ohio, but
dancing to the birchen switch has long
been part of the curriculum of pub
lie schools.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Fraulem Bertha Krupp, the richest
girl in the world, spent only $3.50 in
purchasing a bridal trousseau.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

William Randolph Hearst could
not we'll do otherwise than to accept
the nomination for governor rendered
him. by himself.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Henry Watterson has locked horns
with Mr.. Bryan on the railroad ques-
ton, and heavy volleys of Kentucky
thunder are expected.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

"A FAREWELL
We lay aside the old straw hat,
It's useful days are ended.
No more from rain and playful breeze
Twill have to be defended.
Adjew, straw hat, and twenty-threel
And likewise, fadei-skiddoo!
A derby has usurped your place,
The ashcan waits for you.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Mr.. Gompers has become as .distaste-
full to republicans as William Jennings
Bryan himself .
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Baltimore is to hold a three days
jubilee next February to celebrate the
rebuilding of that portion of the city
which was burned three years before
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

The last drum beat summoning spec
tators to the national sport has been
sounded, and stiffness will reign until
April of next year.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

The squeeze play calls for nerve,
and the Birmingham team seems to
have been the only one that had a
good supply of it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Public Printer Shllings has to spell
whenever the White House gives the
word. He has no choice. 1t is to spell
in the simplified fashion or quit the
lob.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Firemen who rescued thirteen per-
sons from burning building the other
day didn't have time to think about
evil omens.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

The fun of the boys and girls must
now be found between school hours
This is the last day of the vacation
season.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Admission Hot Blast: The Alabama State
F air at Birmingham is making great eff
prise. Successful fairs are great benefac-
tors to the agricultural and industrial in
terests of the state, and should meet uni
versal support
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

The Plat amendment Is preparing
to get on the firing line. 1t has been
quiescent long enough.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Birmingham has become accustomed
to top place, and she Is not a bit ex-
cited over pennant honors.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

When Bryan comes to Birmingham
Well wear festive air,
Along with proper clothes, of course.
And neatly plastered hair
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

There Is a fear that the naval sa-
lutes in Oyster Bay scared the oysters
out of a years growth.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Secretary Taft will find his weight
will be needed to the last pound If he
tries to hold the Cuban lid down.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Gadsden Times News: The Birmingham
Age-Herald says that the republicans
are suggesting to the democrats the de-
sirable candidacy of Governor Folk" Yes
and 1t was the republicans who first
suggested Holy Joe as the democratic
candidate for governor of Missouri, and
1t was from the republican counties of
the state that he obtained the first big
bunch of delegates.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

The Cuban Insurgents are not In the
market for -yarships. The brush suits
them, better.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Santos Dumont had an awful come
down the other day.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

The Independence League is better
known as the Hearst Party"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

President Palma is trying to raise
an army and the cash at the same
time.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

The boom in copper stocks suits
Bostonlto nicely. 1t fills long felt
want
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Dick is doing the debating in Ohio
this year.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Dowie got the cream from the Zion
City COW before Voliva took charge of
her.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
PEOPLE


Some people sing,
Some people cry.
Some people quit,
Some people try
Some people laugh,
Some people frown,
And some go up
And some go down.
Some people blame.
Some people praise,
And some have kind
Ly little ways.
Some people play.
Some people work,
Some look for jobs
And others shirls.
f. sssEHza,
Some people wear
One thing a while
And then they change
To suit the style.
Some people long
For this and that,
Some think life good
Some say it's fiat.
Some people are
Both good and bad.
A lot have woes
A few are glad.
1t takes all sorts
OF folks, you know,
To make up life's
Variety show.
Mechanical stomachs will be needed to
lIgest machine-made pies.
Somehow, we can't get the notion out
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Acting Secretary of State Bacon is
making hay while Root is away
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Colonel Bryan repaid Cincinnati's hos
pltality by saying that she is second to
Philadelphia in wickedness. D'jever?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
"A FAREWELL

s "I loathe America" says Marie corelli.
Oh, hairpins!
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Mr.. Root will have an armful of souve-
Mrs when he gets ready to come back.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Alexander City Outlook: According to
the pledges of the democratic party the
bucket shops and the lobby rings in this
state must go.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Centreyille Press: A man in Chicago.
had out his knife for Bryan, and he was
promptly arrested. The jails would not
hold those democrats who had out their
knife for him the last time he ran for
President
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

King Oscar saw Dave Francis long
enough to get a medal.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Secretary Taft will be no tenderfoot
in Cuba.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

that some of our state candidates are
sulking as but few of them have spoken
out in meeting about supporting the nom
inees,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
SLICKED UP.

Nobody objects to making it s'catalog'.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Camp Hill Times: Mr.. comer's crowd
seems disposed to want to control the
earth and the fu1lness thereof.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
ALABAMA PRESS

Eufaula Times: Politics is over now
down to business. The newly elected Of
hcers will take care of the state affairs
and the committee the politics.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Mobile Register: Golfers Weekly says
that lagniappe in New Orleans is doomed
We have heard that before. We have
heard 1t often. We first heard it thirty
years ago.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Pine Belt News: Prayer availeth much,
but is a poor asset in feeding a hungry
man and contributing to the relief of
needy widows and orphans.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
? LIES A DREAM.

If LIES A DREAM.
If life's a dream
I'd like to know
What makes lean hung
Err gnaw us so?
What makes us shiv-
Err when it's cold
And be foregot
When we grow old?
If life's a dream
Why do we hate
Each other and
Bewail our fate?
Why does mankind
Shed seas of gore
And lust for mon
Ely more and more?
If life's a dream
Why do we count
A mans true worth
BY that amount
or yellow gold
He's piled up high,
Tho children weep
And widows sigh?
If life's a dream
Life. so to speak,
Why do the strong
Cypress the weak?
The wicked live
In gilded ease,
And hooters loot
Wiener they please?
If life's a dream.
Why do the tears
Flow bitterly,
Through all the years,
And sorrow brood,
And in the past
Lie blighted hopes
That withered fast?
II life's dream
With all we see
OF wretchedness
And misery,
OF storm and strife.
And brag and bluff
If life's a dream,
It's real enough.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16
heJ6,e2

of our head that there is something funny
about mule-spinner.
The Cars vacation is not a real one.
He is merely hiding In new place. =
saltwater Biz went a fast gait, and
it wasn't a sluice gate. either.
TOO GRUESoME.
While looking about
For something to bust,
Reformers fight shy
OF the coffin trust.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Limestone Democrat: The idea of a
southern man for Presidential candidate
is an idle dream, but nevertheless a
pleasant one. Not even Bailey, Texan,
can hope to hold his own with Teddy In
his wild wooliness."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Now that a cripples union has been
organized in Chicago, we may expect a
limpout at any time
What does a man admire most in his
wife?'' asks a newspaper writer. Usu-
ally. We would say, some quality that
the poor woman does not possess.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Montgomery Journal: Mr. Bryan is the
biggest man in the United States today,
barring none,n gurgles the Richmond
Journal Plainly our contemporary for
gets that William H. Taft weighs near
ly quarter of ton
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala. post
OFFICE as second-class matter under act
of Congress March ,, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-09-16

washington Bureau Ags-Herald 1421 G.
street, n. W.