New-York tribune., 1906-07-09
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Lord Kelvin has just celebrated his birthday
Though Of the most eminent Of the worlds
scientists. Lord Kelvin has most modest view OF
his own attainments lie once walked incOsnito
through some electrical works. and asked a work.
the simple question What IS electricity
Il 1 don't know SIR" the man replied
''Well. don't either said Lord Kelvin. He said
the other day that. though he had studied hard
he could not help feeling that he really knew no
more than he knew when he first began.
PATRIOTIC BLOOD.
ms grandfather crossed the Della
And in his country's Service lost two toes Valley
Where the frost king keeping busy all that dread
Very nearly did FOR freedom what the British failed
TO do.
His great-great-grandpa nobly put his private
And. hurrshing for his country. went with Jackson
Many a crimson-coated warrior he dispatched TO
On that great day at New Orleans where he bravely
His great -granddad was eager. when his country
And with Rough and Ready Taylor. he did things
After humbiing Buena Vista he assailed ChaDul-
Where Is lost collar button and section of his
When the guns roared at Fort Sumter his grand
father tarried not.
But went forth TO the country. bravely facing
He did wonders at Antietam. fighting under Little
And at Bull Run he was foremost till he fell and
sprained his back
His father was no laggard when poor. bleeding Cuba
For the precious boon Of freedom that so long had
Like a knight he marched with shafter. and was
BY an army mule that kicked him in the stomach at
Key West
And our hero the descendant of the warriors listed
Though g child has nobly given up three teeth and
Cheer him cheer him for the service that he ncbIy
He may yet get blown to pieces on the day sse
The London "Truth's'' puzzle department recently
awarded prize TO the author OF the following
specimen of amusing things said by parents to
their children:
a 4 pitman was exceedingly proud Of the wonder
lad through an exsminat!on as follows By. Ru3 wSat S
send0r IS @ yer II mutRe8 NoT Waat
An what gendor is this teapot?' Takes up Rri-
an that's the rst mistake o ivver EnaWd ava yeT sit 70
nf5- i6 Stln ~ amt a very big blunder-yer only
Years ago. according to 'Harper's Weekly while
the Rev. Mr.. shandaloupe was a student at the
seminary, he undertook. one vacation season 70
sell fire extinguishers. His pleasing address and
affablity enabled him TO make many sales How
ever. he encountered the usual rebuffs which are
the experience of all agents. The theological stu
dent had gained access to the office Of a surIv
broker. and forthwith began expatiatine on the
deluging powers of mis- Incompatible fire extin-
guisher. ITO h with it, roared the broker
hendishly. "Oh. my dear man." expostulated
Shandaloupe. this extinguisher does not deserve
the extreme virtue with which you credit IT.
ANSWER TO a WEDDING INVITATION.
Mr. Black regrets Jnat ne
Must impart the infOrma tion
That he can't accept with glee
Mrs. Whites kind invitation.
Candidly he must avOw.
Risking being thought unpleasant,
That his means do not allow
OF the purchase Of a present.
0Ir Black. too. would remind
Mrs. White without evasion,
That they've met, through Fate unkind
Only upon one occasion.
As for the prospective bride.
Her no doubt delightful daughter,
If her form he'd ever eyed
Something he perhaps had bought her
Mr.. Black must. therefore, state
Taking all things in conjunction,
That he can't participate
In this fashionable fuEction.
He Is neither millionaire
Nor dog inclined to managers:
He's just one who cannot spare
Charities for perfect strangers.
London Tribune.
Much by little phrase is meant:
In just some wise old thinkers spoke
Full oft man on pleasure bent
Is later on through pleasure broke.