The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1906-05-24

whenceness came about? Had police
man found me wild dat bag on my
shoulder should | have been held le-
gally reSpOnsible:"
The consensus of opinion seemed to
be that he shouldn't, and when the ora
tor was satisfied as to this he went on:
What am Tub? You pass 10000
women ana glib none o 'em a second
look. You don't keer a copper whether
dey am old or young. good loOkin' or
homcly. All Of a sudden you meet
your fate You come face to face wild
woman who gihs you look and
smile. and a cr0whar seems TO iab YOU
to de- heart. You f0ller her You find
ont who she am. You call ana tell her
dat you can't lib widout her In Il
week or so you are married. aud YOU
find she has SebCn hundred dollars in
de savings bank: What about de
whenccness of de WhatnCSS: Why did
You do it? Why didn't You cit on Il
freight train and beat your way down
to dc New Orleans races instead:
You am sittin' on de fence of Il sum-
mer'S mawnin', jest rs you have sOt Il
thousand times befo'. You am wshin'
your ticket in de lottery would strike
prize Of Il millyon dollars, jest as you
have wished ten thousand times befo'.
De -four and de 'tatcrs and bacon am
out, and de ole woman needs shoes.
You am wOndcrin' if it hurts much to
eat huff baked pOSsum to kill you
when Il lightning rod man drives up
and offers you job at one hundred
per month and pays fifty in advance.
"Who or what sent dat man derc?
Why didn't he take another road? Why
didn't his wagon break down befo it
got to you? Why wasn't you in de
back yard jawin' wild de ole woman:
We kin all see de whyncss of de
whencencSS, but what subtle power
brun% it about?
Lust year" continued the orator.
after moistcning his lips with two
glasses Of cider from the pitcher. Il
was in jail in my native state. l was
out in de woods Studyiu' de habits of
de razOrbaCked hawg when a CON
stable came along and gathered me in.
| was sent to jail for thirty days. 1t
was claimed dat | had run dat hawg
so fur and so fast dat he had dropped
dead After | had spent ten days in
Jail. and one night when was sittin'
and thinkin' of de millyons and mill
yOns of men who had returned to dust.
Il voice whispered in my car. Try de
winder"
Day was nobody but me in de Jail.
De voice could have come from no liv-
in person. Why should | try de win
der instead Of dc doah: Why should l
try anything: l did, howcbcr. | walk
ed ober and tried dc bars of de win
der and found EN- loose, ana ten min
utes later | was free In gwine down
de street picked up a wallet wild $500
in it, and | reached de depot Jest as
a train was lcavin' fT Montgomery.
How do you account fur it? Why de
whatncss Of de whynosS: Why didn't
de roof Of de Jail cave in aud kill me
instead?
MY fr'en's." said Mr.. Johnson rs he
tunkcd on the floor with his umbrcna
to emphasize his words, Il don't say
dat you all should be philosophers.
kaSe de real philosopher am bon to
de business and can't bc "a success wild
out, but l am akin You to pay mo- at
tcnshun to de things Of life. Study into
de why Of de whyforcS
You have Jest passed mcwl stand
ing hitchcd to post You have passed
in safety. De person behind YOU am a
fat woman De mewl kicks out and
lands her ten feet away. Why:
You % 10 Il grocer to whom you are
in debt and order half 4 pound of tea
He smiles and puts it up for YOU De
very next day you go back to de very
same man and order half Il pound of
coffee and he says he'll be hanged if
you kin have it. Why:
what brung about de whichneSs of
de whcnCcncss:
Think, ponder and study and don't
let these things git de best of you all
de time. And now. thanking you fur
your mctricious and alluvial attenshun
and hopin' to be one of you ere long, |
make my bow and respectfully wish
you farewell" NJ. QUAD.