Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-08-11

On DE DOAHSTEP.
He wasn't home, but his wife axed me
to drap in and have a snack. / looked
for glass Of buttermilk and piece OF
hoecake, but what dye s'pose was
spread befo' me on de table? In de
first place dar was a white tableclOth
dat must have cost $3.50. Is been
keepin' house for fo'ty years, and has
always reckoned dat oilcloth was good
huff for me. Den dar was silver
knives and forks and spoons, same as
you'd find on de table of a king. AFTER
dem came napkins and cake and Gus
tard and cold beef and sweet cake, and
befo' | could git my breaf l was of
fered a glass Of claret wine.
kin you blame me for pinchin my
self to see if l was dar or summers
else? Oar am Brudder Jones workin'
in a wood yard at SO a week, and dar
was all dat luxury same as il he was
de emperor Of Russia. I hain't wantin'
to discourage anybody, but I'm tellin'
you dat q crash must come in de Jones
family sooner or later, and when it
does come dat family will drap to de
bottom like grindstun thrown into de
sea.
"a few nights ago me and de ole wo-
man was invited to attend de birthday
party of de wife of Samuel Shin. We
went bekase it was limited dat dar
would be ginger ale and fried cakes
for refreshments. We had on de same
Sunday close we has had for de last
fO'teen years, and we had no sooner
got into de house dan de ole woman
nigh had a fit. Mrs Shin had on a
dress all kickshaws and frills and fur
bellows, dress dat never cost less dan
$50, and de rest of de women seemed
to be dressed up to attend a queens
weddin'. Mrs. Gardeners old bonnet
and my old coat looked like poverty
hung out on de clothesline.
Il have heard de word gorgeousness
many times, but l nebber knowed what
it meant till | stepped into dat house.
Oar was red and blue rugs on de
foohs, lookin' glasses ober de man.
tells, gold chairs and picturs-a perfect
revel Of extravaganza. Me and de old
woman was jest too scarf to move
around. When we looked for de fried
cakes and ginger ale we got three kinds
Of ice cream mixed together. two sorts
Of wine, three kinds of cake and a heap
Of candy. When we got home at last
we jest sot dar and looked at each
Odder for half an hour and nebber said
a word. Brudder Shin works in a -four
and feed store for $40 a week. OATS
his incC me. His outgo must be at least
twice dat. HOW does he do it? He does
it by runnin' in debt and some day an
earthquake will bust forth under dat
house and lift it fifty feet high.
''Waydown Bebee, sittin' ober dar
wild, his old suit on, looks to be a man
of sense and economy, but what did
see first thing when l entered his
house one day last week? 1t was a
rug wild great big tiger on it. I
aXed for a drink of water out of de
gourd, but it was brung to me in
cut glass goblet When | was ready
to go Mrs. Bebee axed me to wait
mint till she played d tune on her
pianner. Think of it! Brudder Bebee
don't airn SO a week de year round.
and yet he kin have tiger rugs. cut
glass and planners! When 1 went
home and told de old woman about it
she opened her mouth and held it open
for ten minutes befo' she could say:
May de Lawd have mercy on my
soul.
DE street dat many of us lib on is
named Coon street. I has resided dar
for twenty years and had no fault to
find. Six weeks ago Brudders Pen
stock and White begun to go around
wild a petition prayin' de common
council to change de name to Rosa
mont street. Dey contended dat de
name Of Coon street was degradin'.
Dey got a piece of my mind, kin tell
you, when dey got around to me, and