The La Jara chronicle., 1906-12-14
Fut-Rulc."

Policeman Barney Flynn was griev-
ously troubled by youth of the name
of Horatio Mann. Horatio was we'll
meaning young fellow, but he had err
roneous ideas. He had read dime
novels until he had become imbued
with the idea that detective is the
greatest of created beings, and 1t was
his ambition to be one. Hence his ad-
miration for Flynn. He had heard
stories of the policeman's prowess, and
he haunted him. He wanted TO know
all about his methods and his exploits.
and more than all else ne wanted the
policeman to get him position on the
force or with some detective agency.
Il know I'm just made for detec-
tive" he said frequently. "All my in
clinations lie in that direction, and
revel in mystery"
1t will be seen from this that Horatio
spoke reasonably correct English. In
deed, he had had fair education. the
only trouble being that it had not
worked in However, as Policeman
Flynn once remarked, "a ma-an can
get book-l'arnin' amy time iv his life.
but t is not with sinse. FIR sinse do
book-learning, but he lacked the
sense, and this it was that made him
so annoying to the policeman. He
could not be persuaded that the life
of detective was not one long ro-
nance. filled with DISCUSSES, thrilling
adventures and fabulous rewards. He
would make himself up in the most
wonderful and outlandish way, and
then drop in on Flynn to ask if that
would not fool the cleverest Crook.
Later he amused himself by shadow
ing people in the neighborhood, and
writing out reports of his work"
which he submitted to Flynn for ap-
provai or criticism.
"Ye wa-ant me FIR TO help ye to he a
daytictive?" said Policeman Flynn to
him one day. "M-m-m. well''-draw-
ing his hand over his chin in tho old
familiar way-"Ill tell ye what I'll do
fr ye. I'll give ye tn polls ixamina-
tion an see how we come out. IT is not
ye-er pla-an FIR to star-art in as
pathrolman. iv coorse?"
"Oh, no." answered the youth. 81
feel that my talents are above that"
'''T is what | supposed" said Po-
liceman Flynn. "Th' woods is full iv
la-ads like you. Some iv thin wa-ants
to be prisidint iv 4 r-railroad, some iv
thin wa-ants to be editor iv a news
pa-aper, some iv thin wa-ants to be
gin'ral manager iv amy OIL business
that's big enough, but most iv them
wa-ants to be daytictives. Amy way
ye put it., they can Go betther than tn
fellic3 that's doin' tn wor-rk now.
But I is Il shtrange thing to me that.
tn min that's maxim na-ames f'r thin
silvcs at tn top is nivcr TIL vans that
sta-artcd in UP there. Did yc iver
think iv tlat?"
Moo can't say that did," replied
the youth.
civ coorse not" said Policeman
Flynn, AN ye w'u'd MT think tn
r-rule was rr ye if We did. IT is not
nicissary in ye-er ca-asc. Ye're too
sma-art. Well, mc5be SO. Well thry
it on. Ivory la-ad that wants to be
ay-tictivc has TO be ixamined. an I'll
put few quistions to ye. Suppose ye
was in cha-arge iv tn day-tictiye
work. an big burglary was COM
mitted. what w'u'd ye do?"
I'D look for clue" answered
Horatio. promptly and confidently.
81 can see ye doin it," asserted Po-
liceman Flynn with chuclIle. Il can
see ye goin through tn pla-ace, an
lookin' wise. an gettin' down on ye-er
knees FIR to Examine a bit iv mud
through a magnifyin'- glass, an thin
goin' out an measurin' tn thracis in
tn mud with fut-rule. / can hear
ye saying, This gr-reat crime was
committed be a ma-an with a large fut
an nail shtickin out iv wan shoe
IT is only nicissary now fr to find tn
shoe an artist tn ma-an.' Ohio! ye'd
ma-ake n gr-reat day-tictive, f'r sure.
"Is not that what you'd do?" asked
Horatio.
I'm not ta-alkin' iv what I'd do"
returned Policeman Flynn. I'm
ta-alkin' iv what tn gr-reat day-tic-
tive does. If ye was a r-real day-t
| tive an had this work. FIR to do, ye'd
| go to tn pla-ace an LUX wise, an thin
ye go back an ordher tn dhrag-n net
put out. livery ma-an that c'u'd ha-ave
done it an lots that c'u'd MT w'u'd be
brought in an"
| "Arrested?" interrupted Horatio.
"F'r sure" replied Policeman Flynn
| But what right would you have to
arrest people against whom you had no
evidence?"
| Who's ta-alkin' iv rights?" retorted
| Policeman Flynn, I'm ta-alkiu' iy th'