The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-09-28
ECCENTRICITlES OF JOHANNA,
roo BLD EVEN FOR THE OIL &C.
TOPUS DISTRICT.
Love ar Hard E:0OEe started Her on the
downward Path-Wrccked q saloon,
iansrd the Death Of . Goat. Dis
'urDrd q school and WA D9nlShed.

Of rayoune, il having a little peace since
Johanna, the village cutup, has trans
ferrrl her activities TO ex-Fire Chief Neil
ONohory's place in the heart of Bayonne.
WHOM Charlie H1rchsnrosder opens W
his saloon in the morning these days he
knows he isn't going to ind Johanna float
inr on a box OF Flora de Rankeros in q sea
of bel in front of the bar. Charles estab-
Hsbrent is lust within the arms Of the oil
octopus and is popular In Constable Hook
by Writ = OF being either the first or last
chance, depending on WHISTLER you are
gong in or coming out Of the Standard
OIL preserves.
johanna was not, as might be supposed,
q German barmaid or maid Of all work.
Her name was Jocko for a long time. but
il was changed in a hurry after a naturalist
from Ho6okrn who had dropped in at
Charles made the discovery tina, Jooko
was n gentleman. Even after she had
been rightly named johanna seemed un-
able 10 act like a lady.
About three years ago the British steam
shig Ayala pulled into Constable Hook
with a cargo OF crude oil and twenty-three
ringtaiIcd monkeys direct from Calcutta.
The crude oil was turned over to John D.'s
ThIiNN fIlNItlN W. Dut fNbV AhAANhhatu oCSbhOh
of the cargo, being the personal property
Of the steward. Dick Drysdale, was dis
trihutod among Dicks friends all along
the Jersey coast.
Johanna fell to the lot Of Charlie Herchen-
roeder and started right in to make herself
at home. She was allowed to sleep on the
bar nights, One morning when Charlie
opened up he found that she had torn the
NJ
hands Delight chewing tobacco and had
made a nice, cosey bed for herself. The
chewing tobacco was kept locked I'M glass
case after that.
Meanwhile, Herchenroeder's patrons were
doing their best to Goa Johanna OF the
water wagon. h turned her glass upside
down for a while. Then she was tempted.
Her thirst was mild at first and she was con-
tented with stepping up every time some one
said. Give everybody another drink"
Johanna always got hers, although Charlie
=. frowned a hit when she began to insist on
the hard stuff and Jaw visions OF Johanna
in the alcoholic ward when she turned up
her nose at a settler or even q ginger ale
chaser. She wanted her drinks straight,
and if she didn't get them that way she
slammed the booze bottle against the chan
deliei and put the place temporarily out OF
business.
When johanna was in her cups there were
great doings. She had an aver sion to near
meerschaum pipes, and every time a new
patron came in with one between his teeth
she would sneak toward him and knock il
out. She always selected infortunates
who dropped into chairs for a restful snoOze
before dragging their jags on to Rayonne.
Her best act was doing a Jungle dance on
the face Of IN sleeper, which never failed
70 send the inebriate on his way.
Herchenroeder whippeddohanna for chew
ing tobacco and ex~pectorating on custo-
mers. Instead OF improving her morals
the whipping made her almost incofrigible.
After waiting TO get her revenge for a week,
the chance came one night when He.chen-
Ioeder had put 20 new stock OF case goods
on the shelf, and-had opened G fresh baIIel
Of lage. After the back door had been
licked and Charlie and his stan had left her
alove in the barroom; she got busy. She
smashed whiskey bottles, stIewed the tioor
with cigars and turted on the beer. When
the boss opened UP and found Johanna
or lising around in glee on a rntt made OF
cigar boxes and estimated the damage
conservatively at s76, he decided to separate
Johanna from the saloon.
She was banished to a stable in the rear,
where she quickly made friends with Her
ChenrOeder's big mastlff, Gyp. The two
soon became insepareble and went on on
long expeditions through the Standard Oil
grounds. Johanna rode on Gyp's back and
any small boy who tried to pick a fuss with
her had to settle with Gyp. At night Jo-
hanna sept CURED up between the mastlf's
legs. This Arrangement was entirely salts
factory to H~erchenroeder until he noticed
that after Johanna had been spending the
day with the oil men her breath smelled
strongly Of a combination OF kerosene.
benzine and crude oil n that she had
traces Of paraffin in her w~hiskers..
Constant use Of this mixed drink deprived
Johanna Of her powers Of discernment n
caused her TO mount Her~chenroeder's goat
one dav Under the impression that he was
Gyp. The goat tried to butt ~Johanna's
brains out against a stone wall and the
monkey retaliatcd by chewing of a piece
Of the goats left ear. Blood poisoning
set in, and although a veterinary wss olied
In. the goat died.
Realizing then that she had lest her hold
on Herchenrpeder's affections Johanna set
out to make him just as unpopular in the
neighborhood as she could. The chance
Of her life came last spring when the clos
ing exercises we're being held in Public
School 5, Just across the way. Johanna
saw the little girls and boys going into the
building in their best clothes n Observed
that when they came out to play at recess
m each had a nice red apple and a sack
OF candy. Joha Dna sleuthed around a rear
window until she saw the boys and girls
were in their seats again. Then she climbed
up the wall and spotted the dressing rooms,
where the candy and epples had been left
until school closed,
Johanna was in the room in two jumps
and was munching apples and chewing
gumdrops at a great rate until some little
girl who got excused before the rest found
her and gave the alarm, Johanna lost her
head completely, and instead OF retreatinR
through the window she hopred into the
school room, with her arms full Of apples.
or course all the little girls screamed, and
the boys took after Johanna. In her OK
element she leaped upon the teachers desk,
and what little chance there was Of quellinI
the disturbance with the fire signal was
spoiled right there. Herchenroeder heard
the racket and rushed over and led Johanna
away in disgrace.
The school directors had a meeting and
notified HPrchenroeder that the catlee OF
education in Constable Hook would suffer II
Johanna wasn't transferred out OF the
rCighborhOod before the fall term opened.
After explaining tho whole situation TO
Neil O'Mahony and assuring him that he
thought that Johanna would behave her
self # she was far enough from the Standard
on works, Herchenroeder persuaded The eX-
IRE chief to TAX Johanna on trial. Those
who know Johanna best believe that her
career is just beginning.