The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-09-08

ms euo ictSoTs SuO telegTdmS over
listlessly. 1T isn't as though she had
cared he repeated, DULY, opening
and closing the small drawers, one by
one. He was searching for a photo
graph that she had kept on her desk
"a likeness taken in her early girl
hood, long before he had met her.
AS he felt clumsily about among
the papers a letter fell out. He start
ed to replace II, but caught sight Of
his own name in the familiar writing
and paused. He opened 1t with trem-
bling fingers.
Il did the best could" he said,
slowly to himself. II couldn't help
first. thought II would come with
time. God! how hard 1t has been,
how bitter hard!" He passed his thin,
nervous hand YEARLY across his col
orless face. AT least, she never
knew, never suspected, nor cared,
either way" he said, bitterly. She
was as Indifferent as-as I was"
II wonder II she knows now" he
breathed. Il wonder IL she knows
and understands. She never seemed
to understand anything. used to
wonder how anyone could feel so lit
tie and live. I tried once to tell her
how l felt and she laughed. Said
! needed something to tone me up.
Perhaps she was right. Perhaps
am morbid chap.
IF she had cared" he began again,
81 would have tried to be different.
/ should have learned to get hold of
her interest in some way, but that
dead calm of hers! I used to think
1t would drive me crazy. She was
the right sort, too-or seemed to be.
With her possibilities she might have
developed into wonderful woman
under the right conditions. She is
wonderful-she was" he corrected
himself, shuddering at the correction.
II admired her more than any other
woman ever met. Poor Helen!"
he sighed as he pored over the letter
In the failing light.
He sat up, startled. Hurried to
the window, reading eagerly with a
look Of intense interest on his rather
apathetic face-a look such as Helen
Anterior had never reused in all her
sadly inconsequent life with him.
Dear" he read. II couldn't hope
ever to make you understand how I
love you. You have Just left me
cold, unloving, careless, as you always
are--and (poor foolish, loving thing)
put my starved arms about your chair
and laid my lips passionately against
the spot where your dear head has
lain. ] know II is utterly unrecipro-
Gated. that I shall never be more to
you than I am now, and though 1t
breaks my heart with its desolation,
its utter despair, yet ! bow to It,
Dearest, no man was ever loved more
deeply, more tenderly, than you are.
o, the sadness, the heartbreak of 1t
all!
You thought at first you cared. II
you had been sure. then-ah, II you
had only known then-and told me-
Now It is too late. ] am wrapped in
never-ending regret that will be
my portion to the end of time I
can't ease the hurt Of loving unloved.
II want you to know II you are left
and you will be-that / have always
cared. ! used to hope for the day
when should Sc your eyes food with
gladness at my coming. have
learned to welcome even the wear-
ness Of spirit they express IL only
may feel you near me.
Dear, know how It is with you.
| know that the bonds have become
so irksome that they have worn into
your very soul. ] see the distaste,
the dislike-almost loathing-that pos.
sesses you AT times. see 1t all. yet
| am powerless to release you. ! can
only hide II all securely away under
the slow smile, the smile that you
call my everyday face.
III you had cared, John, we should
have been very happy. love your
work, your interests, but I have not
dared voice It for fear-O that look!
that cruelty Indifferent. hard, careless
look! It burns into me as write
and writhe under the torture OF It,"
He sat with his head on his arms
for hours. Once he cried out in
agony: MY God. IL had known!
II ! had known!"
At last he climbed the heavy, dark
stairway to the room above to face
his dead. He turned back the white
coverlid with hands strangely steady
after his long vigil.
Her face was oddly girlsh as Il
was in the little photo. He felt vast
tenderness yelling up within him as
he looked. A rush of feeling that
flooded him with longing. longing for
hex smile, for her clear-eyed look, for
the spirit of her, brave and indomita-
BILE as II had ever been. At last he
knew the truth. He could see the
soul back OF the silence-back of her
apathetic gentleness of demeanor that
had shamed his churlish outbreaks of
irritability. Oh, to tell her! to let
her know how he admired her self
control. her wonderful soldier heart
that could force her to smile calmly.
though her life's blood was oozing
away, drop by drop.