Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1906-10-18

Re he dared to do So the commissioner
Df pensions at Washington could com
pile delightful volume, putting there
In the strange applications for pensions
that come 10 his Office. Some Of these
letters belong to the too good to keep"
class, and they find their way out into
the world, where they add good deal
to the hilarity of nations. Some appli-
cantS for pensions manifest the most
childlike ignorance regarding the meth
0d of procedure necessary when apply
Ing for a pension. They seem to think
that all they have to do is to send an
application to the pension office and
Uncle Sam will forward check by re-
.urn mail
Soon after the close of the civil war
there came to the pension Office In
Washington the following unique and
poetical application for a pension that
went the rounds Of the newspapers
years ago:
to Commissioner of Pensions Washington.
these many years I've tried In vain
an honest pention to obtain
For wound received In Sixty one
at first Battle of Bull Run
one of ohioes sons SO brave
who went to the front the union to save
And whilst Engaged In above said fight
rebel Shell took half my sight
Not content by taking an Eye
this treacherous shell In Passing by
took my Eye Brow Clear of the bone
and Left me as unconscious as stone
burning blister of Crystal Clear
from the Jaw bone to the Ear
but thanks TO god my life was spared
Check and Eye brow but Slitely Scared
and one Eye was left to me
for to wright and read Poetre
I hope that with that Eye to see the day
when unkel Sam his Cripples will Pay.
Much more recent is the letter sent
to the commissioner of pensions by an
applicant who, had contracted blood
poisoning In the following remarkable
manner:
I got blood poison by beinge hit with q
hens eg wen cam back from the frunt.
The eg was not good Wen you send my
pension l want the Deed made sos my
wife can't get none of 1t. She throde the
eg. She war rebbel.
Equally appealing and remarkable
was another letter sent to the pension
Office in which the applicant set forth
his claims to pension in this wise:
The way got my War ingery was a
ketchin Of hog. The Hog war wanted
by our captain for forege. We was chasin
the hog and she crawled threw hole
an thot were about the size Of the hog
and tried to crawl threw, but stuck an
In tryin to wiggle out throde the rales
of an one 1t hit me on my he'd and nocked
me senseless do not think the hog had
nothin to do with my line of duty, for !
did not ketch the hog, WITCH she never
was caut, 10 pleze send along my pension.
One aged pensioner had evidently
made q serious blunder by taking
unto himself wife In his old age, for
love OF gain seems to have been the
motive Of the woman who married him
II the following letter stated the facts
s. In the case:
Dear Mister Government, Pleze to Ak up
my penshun papers so as my wife cant
draw my twelve dolers munt when ]
4 am ded. she say she marryed me for Low
an to be q ole mans Darling but now
no it was for to git my penshun on her
self by being my widower SC pleze let
my penshun end with me but pleze doant
let on to her that you got this from me
or would have hot time of 1t and times
10 hotter now than / can stand. So when
send word that am no rnoar then send
her this II You want to but not until the
penshun Is shut Off which 1t is her Just
desserts for marryin for money an in q
Mersheenary spirrut.
One day there came to the pension
office a very old and subdued looking
man who could scarcely totter along
with the help Of two canes. BY his side
was a very robust and perfectly self
reliant young woman Of perhaps thirty
years 81 age. When some one went
forward to ask what was wanted the
young woman said:
Well, I'll just tell you This 10 my
husband, and we amt getting enough
pension that's what we amt We're
getting only $1Oa month, and we know
man that wasn't In the war half as
long as my husband was and didn't gel
/ q shot in him and he gifts his $12 d
month, and we want our pension raised
to that figger or gmore.' = Is
One applicant was willing to give the
most palpable proof Of the genuineness
OF his Injuries, for he wrote as follows
II you don't think was shot In the
/ war am willing to come on there and
( you or any one else can lay their finger
! on the bullet fmbedded in my beck which
panes me when stoop or lay. on 1t and
which It has brought on pertinent dis
ability 10 / can't work like I#ussd9 ia
could I guess .if you would speak to Pres
ident May ksnley and tell him about the
bullet he would say to send on the PEN
ton and my medikel doctor would say
the same. a doctor here will 90 his af-
8fydavitt that he has layed his fingers on
4 the bullet wich lam proud OF as scars OF
81 War where 4 AT and bled for my country
y Wtch 4 = america and Union forever.
New York Tribune. 4