The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-11-04
MRS. RUBBERlNO
lNl TALKS OF SLAMS
And Gets in a Few Good Shots at
Her Caller at the Same
Time.

did you read in the papers Of the robbery
in the Takeachance fiat ON the fourth
floor here?" inquired Mrs. Rubberino Of her
caller. NO? Well, it's a good thing o
didn't. You'd nave killed yourself laugh
ing. 4.
AThe papers said that the thief had taken
5000 worth of Mrs. Takeachanc- dia-
monds. Well, my dear, | certainly thought
1 should expire when | read that. IL Mrs.
Takeachance ever saw 5000 worth of dia-
monds all at the SAM time she'd get the
palsy. she'd be so excited.
She had a few ordinary diamond rings,
just like anybody ~else's, and a pair OF ole
fashioned diamond earrings, mounted like
my grandmother's cameo earrings used to
look, and that's all. The papers said that
her emerald and diamond brooch that was
stolen was worth 81 500. l saw an imitation
emerald and diamond brooch in the window
of one Of those imitation jewelry stores
on Broadway for $3.50. Do you know l
just hankered to buy hat $3.50 brooch and
fetch it home and show 1t to her. and force
her 10 fetch hers out and let the two be
placed side by side. but 1 didn't have the
money with me hat day. I'd love to've
occh he prctcntiOus tnhuS shIiNci, ueOu L
would.
IF she was robbed at all, the robber GER
tainly got beautifully fooled. But l don't
really believe that she was robbed at all.
Sh-sh! Don't ever breathe a word Of it, but
you knowshe's always playing the stock mar
ket and betting on the horses. unbeknownst
to her husband, and I'd just be willing to
bet anything hat she got into a tight fix
that way n couldn't get out any other
way. and that she pawned Or sold the few
real stones she had. and then fixed up that
fairy tale about the fiat being robbed, just
to fool her husband.
II told my husband What I thought, and
hoity-toity, you should have heard the
man! My dear, you really don't know
what / suffer at James's hands lately.
He's becoming perfectly intoierable, and
he ups and defends every living. breathing
creature hat l so much as open my mouth
about, until I'm all but distracted. !
wouldn't mind it so much II James wasn't
so stingy in defending me when he
ooh, talking about stingy folks, I knew
had something TO tell youl / always knew
that those ~Buyahome people in the ground
floor fat across the court were ALMOST mean
enough to take in their own washing, but,
lawsy mel 1 never expected to hear what
the janitor's wife told me this very living
morning.
my dear. you may believe it or not, but
the janitor's wife told me that she caught
Mrs. Buyahome yesterday evening in the
act OF cutting Buyahome's hair! Did you
ever hear Of anything so perfectly ridiculous
in all your life?
THE janitor's wife walked into the Buya-
homes fiat without ringing-the Buya-
homes are too mean to keep a maid for any
length of time. you know, and so the jani-
tors wife washes the Inner dishes for them
most of the time-and as she passed the
dressing room there was ~Buyahome, sitting
in a chair near the window with a towel
around his neck, and Mrs. ~Buyahome hover
ing over him with the shears!
Il was telling James about il before he
went to the Office this morning, but Of
course he had some kind OF a pat defence
all ready, as he always has lately.
My dear, you will never know in this
world what / suffer. Actually there are
times when James seems to delight in
treating me like an old shoe
ooh. goodness gracious sakes alive, talk
ing about shoes, l knew that there was some
thing else l had to tell you. You remember
how that Eighty, giggly Mrs. Keenclip,
in the fiat below us, always brags about
what a small foot she has, n how she
is always sticking her feet out from beneath
her skirt when the men are around, so that
they'll remark about her feet, and how she
is always claiming that she has to get her
shoes made to order because they don't
have ready made shoes small enough to
ft her feet?
We'll, l dropped into Fittem's shoe store
on Sixth avenue yesterday afternoon TO
price some slippers | saw in the window,
and who should l see sitting there getting
a pair of buttoned shoes fitted on but that
braggy Mrs. Keenclip.
These are $780, l heard the clerk say
to her as he showed her a pair of shoes
and after all Of her Dragging that she al
ways had her shoes made to order!
-She tried her best to keep her face
turned sort OF sideways so that l wouldn't
see her, but l wasn't going to let her get out
of it so easily, deed l wasn't, and 20 | sat
down right beside of her, and you should
nave seen the different colors of red she
tool on under her enamel! She tried to
tell me that she was only trying to find a
IbdAl VI AOhBh "dAhlhS DODtF " AOhB
rambles out into the country when the fine
cold weather sets in; but | saw the clerk
look queerly at her when she said that.
Il think il she could have shot me then
without anybody finding it out she'd rave
done il without a moments c~ompunction,
and, my, how | did enjoy it!
This Is a 3d. vent on the clerk. and
! think it'll just fit-it's the same size as
the shoe you've been wearing
And she'd been telling everybody, you
remember, about how her size was &c.
She was 80 venomous about it that she
demanded the clerk to put On her old shoes
for her, and she strobe out, trembling all
over, without buying 80 much az a pair
OF shoestrings.
Il guess the next time Mrs. Keenclip
comes in here TO play euchre she won't
be sticking her feet out all over the place
so that the men folksll be gazing at 'em.
II she does just as sure as o live and
breathe I'm going TO say something about
readymade shoes, and l guess thatll fix
her, the conceited creature. It's just
enough TO make a stuffed image rear up
and laugh at