Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1906-04-27

| plicissimus from SIM
Ihey say that alcohol will clno, 6,
| yer nicely, remarked the man D-Sll S el
| CURES facts. 1T will" agreed th a0 &c
n0sed individual; 1T cleaned I'M nn ieu l
silver. "-Tatler. "p 'll my
Miss Miss e,Naiye-But why did YOU rornso
Mrs. Tertius Grazevidovr---T ,,-,,.,
he wouldn't be able to pay sntfi";on nti, III:
mony when l divorced him. 'eii' ali
He (sighing)-May 1 not homo +ho+
some day You will be mine? 'ii"l
She (coylyl-Oh. yes. hone as n,,ch
as you like-1 can't forbid that,~Tr iUrsl
latea Tor Tales from lei Diario.'
You should make your story ond ba,,
PLY suggested the publisher ''i'' Id p
oh. III fix that replied tha ou+bo,.
II III simply have my hero and hero;na
divorced III the last chapterr'-Tatler,
A Hero.
Ho. sound the timbrel and the drum
And bring Il wreath OF bay.
ALlu crown the man who lives at home
On spring house cleaning day,
H. R. II.
City Editor-Did you learn anvthing
more about that woman who was found
starving i'll the streets?
Rep0rter--1eS, it seems that she had
Just been to an afternoon tea.-Town
Topics.
Artist Ito landlordl-I can't pay my
rent, but l can give you Il lot of can
vases as security.
Landlord-All right; I'll take them if
you have not painted on them.-Trans-
lated for Tales from Familie-JournaI
Poet Ito editor)-The poem l wish to
submit to you was the product of a sleep
less night.
Editor-Yes. night is no mans friend
Translated for Tales from FEegende
Blaetter.
Scrivner-There's no money in the law,
Look at young Barrister. He makes Il
very precarious living.
Winder-I understand he lives br hook
or by crook.
Scrivner-By crook. most likely.
Madge-Does the young clergyman
she's engaged to sermonize much in his
love-making?
Mariorie-Well, when he kisses her
goodnight she says he does it firstly.
SSNoIblA, ItlINiS, ttINt 81 Oll-1I L-bllS.
Mr.. B. Goyously)-My friend Bullion
has lent us his opera box for tonight.
Mrs. B.-Horrors! You haven't a
thing fit to wear.
Mr. B.-Have you?
Mrs. Bob! 1 don't need much, you
know-Tit-Bits
Pa Twaddles-I wish you'd put Tom
my to bed
Ma Twaddles-What's the matter?
Pa Twaddles-Oh, he's Fostering the
life out of me to find out what relation
a cousin German is to Il Dutch uncle
Cleveland Leader.
Clerk should like to ask. sir, if my
pay would be deducted if l took a day
off to get married?
EmpIoyer-Of course. Five shillings
would be deducted.
Clerk-Very well, that settles it. I'll
remain single.-Judy.
The teacher had been talking about
hen sitting on eggs, says Engllsh Cotn-
try Life, and. with the incubator in mind,
asked if eggs could be Matched in any
other way.
Yes. sir" said an experienced person
of 9. Put 'em under a duck.
Grandfather (cntnusiasticaiiy)- say.
Willie. don't YOU want to go through
toy shop with me this afternoon and see
ali the pretty things?
Twentieth Century Child Qnd1tterently)
I'm willing to, grandfather, II you
will Get any pleasure out of lt.-It-Blts.
Patient-The examination seems to
doctor jnGOn from
YOUR happy countenance that you can
save my life.
DR. Sawbones-I cannot promise you
that: but we must perform number OF
most interesting operations on you.-Ill-
Bits.
.sHere,7 roared the old lawyer to his
son. studying law with him, you told
me YOU had read this work on Evidence,
and vet the leaves are not cut.
..Tfsed \-rays." yawned the versatile
son. and the father chuckled with de-
I%ht as he thought what lawyer the
hoy would make.-Punch.
Redd-How your friend shinton has
changed! He used TO be so coluiii "nic'-
five. YOU know.
Greene-Isn't he yet! -
NO. why he draws himself right INTO
his she'll now when your trying 10 ques-
ton him" o9, Van
kers Statesman.
Old Lady Ito chemist)-I want box
of canine pills" 18th tho
Chemist-What's the matter with the
dog? ,. ,.+,,A want Won TO
know. sir, that my husband Is se''ie
III Chemist puts up some quinine pills IN
,,,ofonnd siIence.-Pick-Me-U Up.
Patient to Pretty Nurse-Nill you be
INV wife when l recover:
Al Pretty Nurse-Certainiy
Patient-Then you love me: .,
Pretty Nurse-Oh. no; that mercy mere ynH
ppa at;a cheerful. 1 promised this morn,