davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Not Built For Two,

When Michael Burke Joined his
brother James in this country the
money he brought over. added to
lanes savings, enabled them to 90
INTO the ice business. In course of
time their custom increased, and 1t
became necessary for them to have an
office. In this James soon installed n
aice roll-top desk.
THE one desk will do for the two
II u.s." he explained. the day it was
set us. "And here are two keys; one
tor you, Micky. and one for me-"
Michael accepted the key, but seemed
TO be studying the desk.
That's all right" he said. "But
where is my keyholeW
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20

There is Philadelphia, having a
summer home near Cape God, who
takes great pride In his cranberry
meadow. On one occasion this gentle.
man was entertaining an Engfiahman
at dinner when the latter partook for
the first time in his life of the delleacy
known as cranberry sauce" He was
delighted with 1t. Indeed, SO much
and so often did he express pleasure
that, when he had returned to Lon
don, the Philadelphia sent him a bar.
rel Of the finest Cape Cod cranberries.
A month or SO passed, and then there
came a letter of acknowledg ment from
the Briton.
1T was awfully good of you," said
he, among other things, ito send me
those berries. and 1 thank you. I'm
fortunately, they all soured on the
way over."-Harper's Weekly.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
BUYING LARGER FARMS.
Rural Population Decreasing 4
Wealth Increases.

NoFA reputation Decreasing A.
Wealth Increases.
1t seems a paradox, but is neverthe-
less we'll established as true, that in
certain Of the best farming regions of
the United States great and Astounding
agricultural prosperity has resulted ia
decreased rural population. A no less
striking than surprising illustration of
this is given in a recent State census
report OF Iowa, which is reported to
| show a falling off of per cent in the
population of that great and glorious
state since the general census Of 1900.
Or course, such a result was not ac-
ceptaole to Iowas pride, and it was
not readily accepted. Close inquiry,
however, Is reported not only to con.
hrm the general correctness of the
| new count, but to show q sufficient
reason for its disappointing result.
The explanation offered Is that it Is
all due to the land hunger of the pros
porous Iowa farmer. Having money
ahead and we'll knowing that good
farm land in the Mississippi valley Is
one OF the safest and most profitable
| of investments, he has been buying in
the adjoining farms of his less fore
handed neighbors to such an extent.
the reports say. that vacant farm
houses dot every township in the State.
Many Of these vacant farmhouses may
again be occupied by the sons and sons
in-law of the purchaser; some of them
will be abandoned, and the newly &C
quired lands consolidated into larger
farms. And if Iowa follows the course
of development that has been going on
for many years in the magnificent
farming regions of Central Illinois, the
consolidated farms will be leased in
tracts Of so or 800 acres, or more, to
thrifty and prosperous tenant farmers.
The process as it has gone in Illinois
for a number of years is that the
weather. land owner buys out the 40
and SO-acre farms of his neighbors,
tile drains and otherwise improves
them, often renting the same land or
larger tracts to the vendors, who gen
orally made more money as tenants
than they had done as owners. The
tenant farmers of Central Illinois put
their capital into the best of farm i'm
Elements and machinery and live stock.
Their prosperity is seen in their COM
Portable and we'll furnished houses, the
well kept vehicles and horses which
their families drive to church and to
country gatherings. In Central ILL
nois just now the tendency is to larger
farms, the tenant generally desiring to
increase his area and the landlord regu-
lating the quantity of land he will
lease by the proved capacity and sue
cess of each tenant. For its best farm
lands Iowa appears to be approaching
the same system.-Springfield Repub-
lican.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Chinese Ruler,

The Empress Dowager of China was
sold into slavery at the age of eleven,
to save her family from starvation
Afterwards she was presented to the
late emperor, and, upon his wife's
death, became Empress. Her ieet
were never bound, and she was taught
to read after persistent pleading. The
sterling qualities of this wonderful
woman, like those of Pillsbury's Vitos,
have overcome every obstacle. And
she holds herself at the head of China,
as does Vitos at the head OF break fast
foods.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
A Regular Customer.

Uncle Erastus, the village plasterer
and Whitewater, who had married
and buried four wives, was about to
acquire fifth. He went to the house
of the Presbyterian minister, a veneer.
able man who had officiated at several
Of his previous weddings, to make ar
rangements to be married there the
following evening.
"Of course I shall be glad to marry
you to your new wife, Uncle 'Rastus,"
said the minister. This will be the
third or fourth time for me, won't it?
How does it happen, uncle, that you
never have a colored preacher tie the
knot for your"
well, sah," he answered, ais kind
O. got in de habit O. gittin' a white
man to do my marryin', an 1 recon
I'll allus do 1t. rs turrible sot in my
ways, Mistah Pa'ker"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
CASTORIA
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Signature go Of &tMAz1Nw
Trick of the Trade,

MADAM" began the peddler as he
opened his red satchel, ''can sell you
something this morningT"
mo" snapped the elderly matron,
raising her broom ominously, "and
you better move on"
Just as you say, madam. I was
going to offer you the greatest wrinkle
remover on earth, but see you don't
need it,"
"Ah, L"
And also this wonderful remedy
for restoring gray hair to its natural
color, but you have no use for that,
either"
"Why, how kind of you to think so!
L"
And this little volume entitled How
to Remain Beautiful Forever But 1t
would be superfuous to offer 1t to you.
Goodday, madam"
Come back here! Come back here
this instant. I do not need them, as
you say, but will buy them and give
them to some friend. always en-
courage truthfulness."
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Misunderstanding Peopie.

English is now spoken by about 1885,
100000 people. A century ago 1t was
spoken by 2o,o0o,oOo people only. Dur.
ing that period no other leading Euro
pean language has made the slightest
advance. German has held its own,
and Is now spoken by 100000, but
this is no higher percentage of the
total number Of people Of European
descent than it had a hundred years
ago.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
What He Was,

There is man living in Waterbury,
Conn.,, who Is the head Of a large
family. nearly every member of which
Is performer on some kind of musical
instrument.
A Bostonian, who was visiting the
house Of the Waterbury man, referred
to this fact, remarking that it must
be a source Of great pleasure to the
family, but to this observation the ia
Their made no reply.
Really continued the Bostonian.
1T Is remarkable. Your younger son
is cornetist, both your daughters are
pianists, your wife is a violinist, and,
l understand, the others are also mu-
sicians. Now, what are you, the IA
Their Of such a musical combination ?'
81" replied the old man, sarcastical-
ly, Il am a pessimist" - Harper's
Weekly.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
All the Comfort. OF Home.

NAT" Goodwin, the comedian, once
possessed fine country house on the
banks of the Thames River, near New
London, Connecticut. Every summer
he used to invite some of his Thespian
friends to join his house party.
On one such occasion Goodwin de-
livered himself of bon mot that is
worth repeating.
NAT" said some one, you certainly
have a fine place here. Just think of
1t, lawn right on the river!
"Yes," drawled NAT" "it's fine. In
the spring we have the lawn on the
river, and in the fall we have the river
on the lawn"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Somewhat Similar.

women and men are very much
alike in one respect" said the home
grown philosopher.
Whats the answer% queried the
inexperienced youth.
Men," explained the philosophy dis
penser, "lie about the fish they didn't
catch and women lie about the men
they could have married had they
wanted to-"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Never Smiled Again.

How do you manage to write all
those funny things?" asked the inquis-
tive female of the jokesmith.
with a typewriter, madam" an
swered the so-much-per-yard grin pro-
Queer.
Indeed" exclaimed the 1. (. Don't
you know, I imagined you used some
sort Of copying apparatus"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Corrects a INSTRUMENTATION.

Wasn't that same young man here
to see you last nlghtT
Eyes, papa"
well. what does he mean by COM
Ing every night in the weekT
He doesn't come every night in the
week. l never met him until last
Thursday, and he was only here
Thursday and Friday and Saturday
evenings. Plain Dealer.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Trusts VS.. hinYn.

"What," queried the fair maid, "is
the difference between a trust and q
ring?"
I'm afraid cannot explain the diff
ference in so many words" replied the
young man in the case, but If you'll
put your trust in me I'll blow myself
for the ring tomorrow"
And she put her trust in him.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
A NOVEL ADVERTISEMENT.
1t Appeared in a Recent Issue of
London Newspapers.

II Appeared In a Recent Issue of q
London Newspaper.
A HOPELESSLY INCOMPETENT FOOL,
with no qualifications, social or intellec-
tual, totally devoid of knowledge on any
conceivable subject, thoroughly indolent
and untrustworthy, is DESTROYS of obtain
ing remunerative post In any capacity.
Address l. b. 3, Maclise road, West Ken
sington.
The sublime candor of the above
advertisement which appeared in a
recent issue Of the London Times has
caused some amusement and attracted
a great deal of attention among bust
ness men, says the London Express.
Many declared that 81. f." was a
practical joker; others that ne had a
definite object in view when be made
himself out to be a fool.
That this latter solution was the cor
rect one an Express representative
learned yesterday from 81. F." him.
self. His object, he said, was to at
tract the attention Of employers by
going out Of the beaten track.
Il. F." who is about q years old,
is rather more alert and intelligent
IMAM lhO uNCidSC Aldu VIII IN OrQl-
nary public school education, and his
face is particularly honest one.
Il thought If said exactly the op-
posite to what most people in search
of billet insert in the newspapers"
he said, II might stand good chance
Of hearing from employers tired of
superlative virtues, and 1 have not
been disappointed.
Il have this morning received two
genuine offers and appointments fer
interviews from the heads OF good
firms and a large number o: letters
and post cards from practical jokels.
1t was inevitable, of course, thar three
or four of the writer's should have
advised me to apply at once to the
war office, where 1 would be sure of
q billet
II have been schoolmastering seven
years, and although l have a small
billet now, wish to better myself"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Knowledge.

Johnny-Smokin' cigarettes Is dead
sure ter hurt yer.
Jimmy--Go on! Where did ye git
dat idee2
Johnny-From pop.
Jimmy-Aw! He wuz jist stringin'
yer.
Johnny-No, he wuzn't stringin' me:
he wuz strappin' me. OATS how l
know 1t hurts.-Philadelphi Press.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Correcting a Nfisappreheu.iou

Wasn't that same young man here 70
see you last night?"
Eyes, papa"
well, what does he mean by COMING
every night in the week?"
He doesn't come every night In the
week. l never met him until last Thurs
day, and he was only here Thursday and
Friday and Saturday evenings. "-Clsvs-
land Plain Dealer.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20

There should be such a thing as
progress even in marrying. If wo-
mans first husband was a carpenter.
her second should be a contractor at
least.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Infrequent Occasions.

you must try to love your papa as
much as he loves you," said the Wis.
itor.
"oh. I love him more" replied Tom.
my.
Indeed? Doesn't your papa love
you very much2"
mot much. He says he only loves
me when I'm good."-Philadelphia
Press.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
SeclusiOn Necessary.

Mrs. Psmith-But how did you man.
age to keep that secret a whole week,
dear?
Mrs. Kjones-It wasn't hard. l sim
ply stayed away from the Browning
Club and when callers came 1 sent
word that 1 wasn't at home.-Cleve-
land Leader,
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Ware of the Dog.

Bob-Miss Subbubs has asked me to
call tonight.
Dick-Yes?
Bob-Yes. What shall wear?
Dick (who has been there)-'Ware of
the dog!-Philadelph Ledger.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Beware OF Ointments Tor Catarrh that
Contain Mercury

beWHre OF OIhtments Tor Catarfh that
Contain Mercury
as mercury will surely destroy the sense OF
smell and compile ely derange the whole sys.
tenn when entering it through the mucous
surfaces. Such articles mould never be used
except on prescri p tons from reputable phy-
sictans, as the damage they will do is ten fold
to the good you can posi- bly, derive from them.
Hall o Catarrh Cure. manufactured by +. ].
Cheney d Co., Toledo, o., con tains no m ercury,
and Is taken internally, acting directly upon
the blood and mucous surfaces of the system.
In buying Halls Catarrh Cure be sure YOU get
the gen uine. 1t is taken internally, and m ade
In Toledo, Ohio, by +. J. Cheney q Co. Testi-
monials free.
Sold by Druggists, price 75c. per bottle.
Halls Family Pills are the best,
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20

China and japan are pre-eminently the
seaweed-eating nations of the world.
Among no other people are seaweeds %
extensively eaten and relished az food
substances.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20

By the time German woman gets
a company dinner on the table, about
everything in the average cook book
Is represented.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20

deep interest in art.
Mrs. Older-You surprise me.
Mrs. Syllie-Well, 1t was a surprise
to me. But heard him telling Jack
Rownder last night that 1t was a good
thing to study your hand before you
draw.-Cleveland Leader.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20

ETC Permanently Cured. No fits or nervousness
IlO after first days of DR. Kline Great Nerve
Restorer Send for Free S2 trial bottle and treatise
or' " H. Kline, Ltd 93l Arch St.. Philadelphia, Pa
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20

Mothers will ind Mrs. winElow's Soothins
Syrup the best remedy to use for their children
during the teething period.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20

Piso's Cure Is a remedy for coughs, colds
and consumption. Try it. Price 25 cents,
Of druggists.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Mystery of the Pug Dor,

It's awfully hard to understand how
pug dogs can like the sort of people that
like them.-Cleveland Leader.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
Art Note.
Mrs. Older-You surprise me.

Mrs. Syllie-My husband takes {
deep interest in art.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20
SORES NJ T5FT EE p

OF those afflicted with an old sore or
ulcer know how useless it is to ex.
pect cure from salves, powders, To-
tons and other external treatment.
Through the use of these they have
seen the place begin to heal and scab
over, and were congratulating them
selves that they would soon be rid of
the detestable thing, when a fresh
supply OF poison from the blood
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-20

WITT se1onget CONSTITUTIONS OF early
life, shows itself. 1t is we'll to be sus-
plclous OF any sore that does not heal
readily, because the same germ that
produces Cancer is bach. of every old
sore and only needs ia be left in the
circulation to produce this fatal disease.
There is only one way to cure these old
, 1906-07-16
Railroad Notes.

Engineer Tom HiXson went to Den
yer Sunday to help Wyoming look big
at the Elks' convention.
Superintendent r. d. Stewart of the
Laramie Plains line went to Cheyenne
on the noon train today. on business
for the company.
P. w. Pfleging of Cheyenne, the
block system officer of the Wyoming
division, was among the visitors to the
city this morning.
Chief Morris of the board of eX-
aminers gave a very interesting pict-
ure show at the waiting rooms at the
depot Saturday night.
Engineer j. w. Costin and Phil
Kline went to Denver on the noon
train today, intending to be away the
remainder of the week.
The Postal Telegraph company's dy-
namo went wrong at Denver Saturday
night and the lines through here were
out of commission for a time.
Harry Langbeldt, chief clerk il the
Office of District Foreman Dan Sullivan
al the shops, will leave tomorrow for
Denver to attend the Elks' convention.
The Butte (Mont.) Elks passed
through the city today by special train.
The Ogden (Utah) and Reno CNev.)
Elks went through by special train
Sunday afternoon.
f. L. Van Horn, operator for the
Union Pacific at Howell, whose wife
is quite i'll in this city, left on the
noon train today for Let's, Ia, with
their young son, whom he will place
with relatives until the mother is
better.
Tim T. Keliher of Cheyenne, the sec
ret service agent for the Wyoming di
vision, was here Sunday afternoon, Ell
route to Green River with the posse
horses belonging to the division
The horses will be taken from the cal
and given a little exercise at different
points along the road going and com
ing.
, 1906-07-16
MACHINERY ORDERED
EOR pI ACER =

c. Il. Jackson of San Francisco, wh)
is interested in the placer fields of the
Douglas Consolidated Placer Mining
company returned Sunday morning
from Chicago, where he had been to
place an order for machinery for the
placers, and left last night for Denver,
where he hopes to get certain pieces
he could not find in Chicago. The ma
chinery will be shipped as soon as pos
sible, and Mr.. Jackson hopes to have
it installed and in working shape in a
few weeks. Several hundred feet of
ditch are to be built and some old
bitches repaired before the machinery
arrives. The placer fields are known
to be quite rich in gold and the COM
Ipany is anxious that Mr.. Jackson shall
get his plant in working order this
summer.
, 1906-07-16
.Laborer Loses a Foot.

A Greek section laborer, supposed
to be John Griestiff, was found by Con
ductor Ed Garrity's crew, on train No.
40, half a mile west Of Lookout, this
morning, lying beside the track, a train
having passed over the left leg about
the ankle and ground the foot off. The
man was placed aboard train No. .
at Lookout and brought to this city,
where DR.. Stevens was awaiting his
coming, but instead of taking him off
here he was taken on to Cheyenne,
DR.. Stevens going with him. The mem
Der was hanging by only a tendon
when the fellow reached Laramie and
DR.. Stevens severed that. He could
speak but little English, and was un-
able to give a very connected account
of the accident. None of MIR. Garrltys
crew or the crew of No. s knew how
the accident occurred.
, 1906-07-16
APPROVES WORK OF
EXPERIMENT STATION.

DR.. W. H. Beal, the second assistant
director of experiment stations at
Washington, spent the day at the uni
versity, examining the accounts of the
experiment station, and on the station
farm. examining the experiments be,
ing carried forward. and TO a reporter
for The Republican stated that he APP
proved both. He will remain in the
city at least until tomorrow, discussing
with Prof. Buffum the use of the addi-
tional funds from the Adams bill.
Prof. Buffum had a talk with Prof.
Elwood Meade at Cheyenne Saturday,
concerning the dry farming expert
ments being carried on, and found the
irrigationist quite encouraged at the
outlook. o
Prof. H. r. NOVEL; of this city, who
is carrying on some of the work at
Cheyenne, came home from hat city
last night.
, 1906-07-16
VETERAN ASSISTANT
TENDERS RESIGNATION.

C. w. Spalding, the veteran deputy
postmaster and pioneer citizen, this
morning rendered his resignation to
Postmaster Beltz, who at once accept
ed it, relieving MI. Spalding. e. w.
Condit, a clerk in the office, was made
assistant postmaster, Warren Beltz
G. Sewell became dispatcher and
G. Samuelson became dispatcher and
w. r. Watt was pushed UP a notch to
be stamp clerk. Mr.. Spalding has been
a resident of Laramie for a generation,
and for several years has been con-
nected with the postoffice. His friends
will be sorry to miss his smiling and
good natured face, but will rejoice that
he is freed from the cares and troubles
of the strenuous position.
, 1906-07-16
ENGINE OF
NEW TYPE
SIMPLE LOCOMOTIVE WITH LONG
STROKE TO BE TRIED ON THE
MOUNTAIN GRADES.
Recommended to Handle Not Less
Than Two Hundred Tons More
Than Compounds With Shorter
Cylinders-Manager of Telegraph
Office Has New Position.

An engine of the 200 class, new to
the mountain divisions of the Union
Pacific, arrived from the east his aft
ernoo in a test run, to determine its
availability ~hereabouts. The engine is
of the simple type, with cylinders rs
by 80, a somewhat longer stroke than
those of the 1900 and 1900 classes. for
which are claimed ability to handle not
less than 200 tons more than the com
pounds of those types. The matter Is
watched with some interest, motive
power men taking sides for and against
the proposition.
Wants to Be Shown.
A local motive power man, who
knows engines better than he does ba-
bies, says it is preposterous to think
than an engine using the steam out
once can do the same amount of work
with the same amount of fuel as those
which use it twice, and he is from
Missouri, and from the back counties
of that 'show-me' state, too, on the
proposition" He declares it is not
practicable, and until it is demonstrate
ed he's going to stand by the COM
pounds. The new type is one of the
pest built engines ever turned out, but
it lacks the pulling power, according
to this authority.
, 1906-07-16
Worlds Richest Man Dead.

London, July 16.-Alfred Belt, the
great South African financier and Oft
ell called the richest man in the world,
died today. He was born at Hamburg
in 1858 and was never married. He
went to Africa when young and was
there when diamonds were found. He
became a diamond broker and then
owner of mines. There is hardly a
large commercial enterprise in South
Africa in which he was not interested.