Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-01-21
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

In this column viii be answered all questions
OF proper nature submitted to The Star. In
quirers should write size of the paper only
and address their letters to Uncle Jasper" Star
Once In case Of difficult couundrums answers may
asdsysa for week OF two Consequently L may
column carefuiy.l
LITBRARY.-Kindly tell me what you
consider to be the great American novel of
the century. A. The great American novei
is not yet in print. The baby has been
teething lately. and we haven't had much
chance to get at 1t.
DYSPEPTIC.-I am a poor man and the
patent breakfast foods in general use now
adays are expensive. Can you give me a
good substitute? A. With pleasure Here
Is one we have personally tested. Take one
cupfui OF screened oats, a pound and a half
of chopped hay. tablespoonful of salt. n
quart of dried red clover and shaving
mug full of ground corn husks. Mix well.
toast In warm oven and serve with con-
densed milk or raspberry syrup. This is an
appetizing and healthful dish.
PEDESTRIAN.-While passing a large
white building on Pennsylvania avenue the
other day I saw short. thick-set person,
with air OF determination and turn
down collar, reading a newspaper and
screaming with laughter Can you tell
no 1t was? A. We opfne from the recital
of facts that you saw President Roosevelt
enjoying Senator Tillman's remarks on the
Morris case
TRAVELER.-TIave you any definite in
formation concerning the operation of the
no-pass order? A. Definite isn't the word
for It. We sent our family out west be-
fore the no-pass order went into effect. We
might add that a reunion is not expected
for some time.
DMERGBNCY.-Can you tell me good
method of pacfying an angry bull dog?
A. Smile at the animal and speak kindly
to him in low. Unconditional tone. When
the dog has approached sufficiently near for
you to read the name on his collar, take
his Off forepaw b~tween the thumb and
first finger of the left hand and stroke him
firmly on the top of the head with crow
bar A remarkable degree of gentleness
may be induced by this method IL directions
are carefully followed.
EPICURE.-My doctor says that / must
not eat mince pie and limburger cheese
Just before going to bed. What do you
think of it? A. Your doctor is Jealous. Wa
knew q man once who made a New Year
resolution that he would do this same thing
every night for six months just to demon
strate its harmlessness. He contended up
to the day of his death, on January Is,
that 1t hadn't hurt him the slightest bit
CITIZEN.-Is there any good reason why,
as a free-born American and taxpayer.
shouldn't go to the White House and remain
there as long l please? A. No, there Is
no good reason why you shouldn't Several
policemen are stationed there, however.
FEMININE.-A young man in good cir
cumstances. whom am not sure love, has
asked me to marry him. He wants an an
swer right away What shall / do? A. An
nexthe diamond and do your thinking later.
Tn ba of ba, a "
heard MISUNDERSTANDING man remark
that poultry had stirred things up in great
shape. What did he mean? A. Your ear
was careless. Poultney, not Poultry, Is the
name of the gentleman who scratched
around on the isthmus between trains
FEARFUL heard the other day that
Congress had decided to appropriate sufh-
cient money to keep the streets of Washing
ton clean all winter. Is 1t true? A. The
next time you break your leg on the Ice ask
US the same question. Our reply will then
have the attribute of timeiness.
ISAAK WALTON.-Kindly tell me the
proper and sportsmanlile way to fish. A.
Locate body of water in which the ami
mails are known to reside and move slowly
out on it's surface. clad only in a rowboat
and 4 bathing suit. When the shore is hull
down remove the oars from the liquid and
take large drink of forty-rod Then lean
over the stern of the vehicle and dig a small
hole In the water. lining the sides with
tractive bait The fish is a curious animal
and the rest is simple. When the hole Is
full remove the creatures with a garden
trowel or sugar scoop. repeat on the forty
rod, rebait the hole and proceed as directed.
Some persons use dynamite In fishing, but
this is an unnecessarily crude method and Is
not approved by true sportsmen.
NORTHEAST.-While passing the Capitol
building the other day | was startled by a
terrific noise somewhat resembling the in
furiated roar of three hundred and eleven
Nubian lions. A moment later there came
terrific crash, the windows on the east
front of the Capitol were blown out and
was knocked down. What was the cause Of
the explosion? A. % John Wesley Gaines Of
Tennessee was chatting with friend. GU
Mr.. Gaines entered the debate on the House
floor.
CONFIDING.-A member of the United
States Senate told me the other day that
Congress would pass radical railroad rate
bill inside of two weeks. What do you think?
A. Your sense of humor needs revamping
inside of two days. The senator was romp-
ing with you.