davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-07-28

even believe =" Wild We laned
he money in adu4uon.
Never in this worIdr' emphatically
replied the launl"ess.
'You gave me a chance You In
Stilled hope and ambition where all
was dark despair before. 1t was only
after heard of your death that fortune
began to smile on me- She came at me
with broad grin on her face when she
did come. Mrs. Hazleton, are you pre-
pared to take the secretaryship of the
Great American Canned Cabbage COM
pany at a salary Of $4,000 a year?'
mo, sir. I'll take nothing but my
money"
There b a worldwide demand for
canned cabbage. We put it up either
raw or boiled. We use both white and
pink cabbage. We have testimonials
from presidents, kings and emperors as
to what our goods are Put up in
twenty-five cent cans and a profit of 10
cents on every can. We are shipping
10000 cans to India today Lillian
Russell is going to retire from the stage
so as to have nothing to do but eat our
cabbage. shall let you In on the
ground floor as far as stock is concern
ed. 1t is 80 today, but will double in
two weeks. Let me show my gratitude
by
by paying this little bill,'' interrupt
ed the laundress.
The major sat down at his desk and
rcG dc
ing:
My dear woman, you are missing
the golden opportunity of your life.
The demand for our canned cabbage is
something gigantic. AS secretary all
you would have to do would be to send
cut circulars to boarding houses and
boom our goods to laundresses. Have
you got two dollar bill about your
IF / have it won't get into your
hands"
Two dollars handed me today will
reserve you $4,000 worth Of stock"
I'll have none of It."
Then the only way left to me to
show my gratitude is to hand you a
check for $50 and let you run across
to the bank and cash it. Your full
name is-iS-what, pleaseY
ELIZA Jane Hazleton, sir"
"Ah, l remember now. There was
never an Eliza Jane yet but what was
q dear, good woman. Here, dear, take
this. They may pay you hundred at
the bank by mistake. If they do 50
run right along with the money, and
Cont let your conscience trouble you
We are now square, and l trust that
nothing more will ever happen to
bring about a GOODNESS between us.
Farewell, old friend-farewell.
Ers. Hazleton was yet on the stairs
when the major clapped on his hat and
bsSt the building by another entrance.
Es was not therefore to hear the wo-
Esa1 when she returned ten minutes
AHer and knocked on his door and
secuted:
"You old rascal but the check is no
eo0dr'
Madam" said the real estate man
- he came out into the hall, were you
hoeking for anybody"
THAT Major Crofoot, sir. He's Civ
a me bad check"
did he say that he would let you in
e. the ground f1oorY'
"He did, SIR"
well, he's done it, and there is no
kick coming to you. Please go away.
I'm expecting customer here every
minute to buy huckleberry farm, and
you are making noise enough to scare
half dozen men away"
NJ QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-07-28
IOusandS Have Kidney
Trouble and Never Suspect il.
HOW To Find Ont.

Fill bottle or common glass with your
ter and let 1t stand twenty-four hours
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-07-28

tigating why owls boot, l s,:pp ser
sarcastically observed Mrs. Dowser.
Possibly, my dear woman-possibly.
In fact, / have often wondered just
why owls Go boot instead of keeping
their heads shut. There need be no
acrimOny about this matter. You can
run along to the Holy Land and l
shall take suburban car out into the
country"
But something will happen to you,
and you'll come home mad at me-"
Nothing whatever will happen to
me, and l shall come home feeling just
as placid as / do now. l shall be
placid, though l may also be exultant
I'll bet dollars to cents that knock
the professors theory into a cooked
hat He isn't the only man in this
world who has had his eye on the
bullfrog."
Mr.. Bowser Departs.
Mrs. Bowser wouldn't go to the lee
ture without him, and so it was settled
that she should stay home. Just as
dusk was coming down Mr.. Bowser
took his departure for the country
and the land of bullfrogs. He didn't
have to wait long after taking his car
to get some information to assist him
In his investigation. A farmer direct
ed him to a big pond where clay had
been dug out for brickyard and then
naturally asked:
"Goin' to catch mess of frogs to
eatT'
"No; am going to study the frog"
There hain't no use in that. Any
book about animals and things will tell
you all about him. / can do 1t myself
for that matter. Do you want to know
why his hind legs are the longest?''
mo, sir. If you know all about the
bullfrOg tell me why he bellows.
What's his game? Is he talking to
other frogs? Does he imagine he's
singing a song? To 1t note Of den-
ance?'
"By thunder, but you've got meY' ex-
claimed the farmer after thinking 1t
over 1--WE been livin' with bullfrOgs
for the last forty years, but it has
never occurred to me to ask why they
bellered And you are goin' to find
out, are your
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-07-28
70 You Earn
100 Month?
# Not, Read This

t is easy to earn this and more, in a
jiness of your own, in an honest,
itimate and permanent business,
that will get better every year.
} want men with horse and wagon,
sell our line of household necessities,
lilly medicines, veterinary remedies,
ok and poultry foods, coffee, tea,
ling powder, spices, favoring ex-
cts, soaps, toilet articles, perfumes
chine oil, etc.
on furnish horse and wagon and
isfactory references as to your
lesty. We do the rest. No capital
experience necessary. Exclusive
sitory given, with privilege of ap-
nting sub. agents. We start you in
mess and furnish all the capital
essary. Write pOday before the
'itory you want is taken. For full
ticulars, address,
THE w. N. GRIFFIN COMPANY,
Rrtmant A. TT. WAYNE Ind
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-07-28
Major CTOfoot,
Grand Promoter
The Up to Date Frea1ed Financia
Lets His Laundress In on the
Ground Floor.
copyright, 1906, by r. Douglas.1

copyright, 1906, by r. DouglaS.I
"a n AJOR CROFOOT, grand Pre-
M moter and up to date frenzied
WI financier, sat with his feet on
his office desk and a worried
look on his face. 1t was the season
for fishing, but gudgeons were scarce
When the door behind him softly open
ed he felt chill go up his back. He
had made a close study of the way a
creditor enters an office, and he real
lied that the conner was one. He had
already decided that it was q woman
and the chances We're even up that it
was one Of his numerous landladies
who had unearthed him when the per-
son strobe into view.
1t was a woman, but not one of his
Iandladies. 1t took him half a minute
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-07-28
Mans Appreciation.

Mrs. Wedderly-The audacity of our
cook! She told me this morning that
she didn't want me fussing around the
kitchen.
Wedderly-Guess I'll go right down
and interview her.
Mrs. Wedderly-Are you going to
discharge her?
Wedderly-I should say not! I'm 60
ing to raise her wagesi = Chicago
News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-07-28
Mr.. b. Investigates.
81 -Ann.:1nlo Il, L. a. -


''Waal, by George! / hope you can.
If we can find out why they heller
mebbe we can buy EN- of There's
about million of 'em III that pond
spoke of, and you won't have any
trouble to find 'em. You'll hear 'em
a-whoopin' as soon as you get off the
carr
The man spoke truly. When the car
reached the terminus and Mr.. Bovser
had taken a seat on a log after he cot
off the car he heard the hoarSe voices of
a bullfrog concert down the highway
and realized that he had struck it rich.
The way to investigate is to investi-
gate. Five minutes after reaching the
pond Mr.. Bowser was giving all his
mind to solving the problem.
He first estimated the number of
frogs before him at an even million.
different intonations.
Thirdly, defiance, sorrow, pathos, in
difference and exultation seemed to be
about equally mixed. Where one old
frog was sending lullaby out to the
sleeping world another was trying to
wake up everybody within two miles.
1t looked as II the problem was being
tied up in hard knots when two men
suddenly appeared before Mr.. Bowser,
and one of them called out:
well, old cove, have you come back
for the rest of the tools?"
"Sir, are you speaking to me?' ask
ed Mr.. Bowser as he rose up.
He Wakes UP.
Il am. What are you doing around
here at this time Of night? Some one
was here a night or two ago and stole
all the pickaxes, but don't think you
can get away with any more of EN-"
Il came here, sir, to study the frog
and / object to being talked to In this
manner"
"Jehosaphat! gasped the man "Say.
Jim, this must be the lunatic that es-
capped from the asylum yesterday. If
we take him back they'll give us a
flyer. Come on
Mr.. Bowser escaped, but he was pref
ty well wrecked in the doing of it.
He was rolled in the mud and had his
clothes torn and lost his hat. At ii
o'clock, with Mrs. Bowser still up and
waiting for him, he softly unlocked the
front door and sneaked upstairs She
heard him, but in the goodness of her
heart did not call out. She gave him
half an hour and then went up to find
him asleep. He was asleep, but his
mind still worked. AS she bent over
him he groaned out and then NUT
tered:
1--WE know why his hind legs are the
longer, but why does he below?
What's the object? What's the gamer"
NJ QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-07-28
A Hard and Endless Task,

"She does nothing but read from
morning till night said one girl.
rs she engaged in any special
study"
mo. She wants to be able to say
she has read every novel that is adj
vertised as the latest success. Wash
ington Star.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-07-28

THE BULLFROG BELLOWS, BUT WHY DOES
HE BELOW"
low all of his because he was a pro-
fessor. Mrs. Bowser, you were brought
up in the country
$50 were you, Mr.. Bowser The first
time / ever saw you you were cutting
up pumpkins to feed a one horned
cow"
He flushed up and his eyes snapped
and for moment he appeared about to
make an angry answer. Then he hung
on to himself and forced a smile and
said:
well, let it go that we were both
brought up in the country. 1t is all the
more to the point in this case AS
country bred folks we know what the
bullfrog is. He is found in ponds and
marshes. His principal occupation is
to below at night Did you ever stop
to think, Mrs. Bowser, why he bel
lows?"
Because he was made to, the same
as rooster was made to crow she
answered
But why was he made to-why /?
The rooster was made to crow that he
might wake the farmers hired man up
at 4 o'clock in the morning, but for
what particular reason should the bull
frog below? They say that nature has
a reason for everything
L give up that don't know, and the
Rev. Mr.. Gleason is to deliver a lecture
on the Holy Land at our church this
evening and | want you to go with me
We haven't been out an evening for
two months"
Il am sorry to disappoint you, Mrs.
Bowser, but the Rev Mr.. Gleason and
his Holy Land must wait. We have
before US question that has bothered
natralists for the last 1000 years.
The bullfrog bellows, but why does he
bellow?"
But why should we care about his
bellowings? 1t is going to be a very
interesting lecture and l want to hear
it. The bullfrogs can be attended to
any time"
Just Like Woman.
Exactly like a woman" said Mr..
Bowser, with a superior smile. mo
doubt the wife of Sir Isaac Newton
wanted to go to a circus the afternoon
he discovered gravitation, and if he
had gone with her the world would
have had to wait another thousand
years. You can run right along and
hear all about the Holy Land, but l
shall devote the evening to solving
this problem. The professor holds that
to him. l hold that he bellows under
the idea that he is pouring forth a lula
by to put the world to sleep. Each
one of us will make his own investi-
cations tonight and compare notes to-
morrow"
"And tomorrow night you'V he inves-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-07-28

: that tells all
tilt, both sent free
nail. Address DR..
ner & Co., Bing-
ton, N. Y. When
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-07-28

a sedimentOr set
tin g indicatesan
unhealthy con-
dition of the kid
neys; if it stains
your linen it is
evidence Of kid
1ley trouble T; too
frequent desire
to pass it or pain
i'll the back is
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-07-28

) convincing proof that the kidneys
bladder are out of order.
What To Do.
here is comfort in the knowledge so
expressed, that DR.. Kilmer's
mp-Root, the great kidney remedy,
lis every wish in curing rheumatism,
in the back, kidneys, liver, bladder
every part of the urinary passage.
,orrects inability to hold water
scalding pain i'll passing it, or bad
It's following use of liquor, wine or
and overcomes that unpleasant ne
lty Of being compelled to go often
ng the day, and to get up many
s during the night. The mild and
extraordinary effect of Swamp-RoOt
on realized. 1t stands the highest
IS wonderful cures of the most dis
sing cases. If you need medicine
should have the best. Sold by drug
5 in ffty-cent and one-dollar sizes.
Oh may have a sample bottle and
that tells all EE
lit, both sent free AaI:E5.s Ass: 8: ia
nail. Address DR..
ner & Co., Bing- aA ses!sssk.0
ton, N. Y. When Home Of swamp-RoOt.
ing mention this paper and don't
e any mistake, but remember the
lie. DR.. Kilmer's Swan1p-Root, and
address, Binghamton, N. Y.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-04-18

All housekeeping requisites can be procured at Fenner's, brushes, mops, dusters, etc.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-04-18
INJUNCTION MODIFIED.
Otto Book is Making Necessary Re
 pairs on Turn Hall.

The injunction which Attorney Bauby obtained from Judge Cowell yesterday for the German Maenner- chor enjoining Otto Book from inter- fering with certain passageways in old Turn hall on Scovill street. was modified this morning. Book. 1t seems, has some building operations fin progress which necessitated the propping up of the building tempo rariIy. Building Inspector Chatield observed that the building was liable to topple over, was in an unsafe con dition fin fact and required immediate attention. The injunction stopped a number of masons working and when the modification of the instrument took effect this forenoon the work men resumed operations and made the building safe.
 It is said that some one stole some of the props on which the building rested. causing 1t to lean over.
 Book proposes to compete with the German Maennerchor in the way of entertainments such as dances. He bought the building and has Hn- dertaken to eject the Maennerchor notwithstanding that it has a three years lease at s25 a month
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-04-18
A STRANGE SENTENCE.
Man Told to Keep Drunk Until Death
 Claims Him.

Chicago. April IS-The Recoryl-Her- ah to-day says: Condemned ly d court of juSsire to get drunk anl to remain so until drink killed him. Sel- by r. Jones. a former prominent wholesale merchant Of Kansas City. Mo. came to Chicago to obey the sesl- fence of the court. Without mcans last. sunday to continue the dehauch tusliriaily imposed on him. but sussi. riently intoxieatei t0 resort to any expeiient to carry into effect fine ne- marksbIe penalty. he stole . traFsliug saiesnan's valIse and sample ease snI was arrested.
 Yesterday. having lseeu hehl to Ilse grand jury for grand Iarreny. Iolss was transferred from a poIice station to the county jail thoroughly splSer. snti for the time st least. euufrite snd sa<er ta starr fife anew.
 Isaes. efforts te satisfy his psrele hy drinking himself ts desfh have Couffnuei ssnr~ Narrh q wien InIxe worerI ~ the criminal eaurf fn Eaa- s1s City pruGounrssl fiais seutenre
 ~If yoHH rrs drunk and stay slEunk I'll Ief yea szt cf t4n Tou mHst tpmre the risy. Only FpmemlEe ysH Hs4s zrf drunk awi stay dFunk- Yeg1rp s lad uzsr ansi whE&ker wsIl take vpa ta fhr fetl faster tta1a say fhEaG es<e- Th~ ssps<F the devil zpss rsu the hrtsrr. If req aeat Ete tp to the~~ eendtipns Fm pst Fvu h tzII ard ke~p rcr fh<re
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-04-18
BOARD OF CHARITIES.
Will Set Aside Dormitory at Brook
 side for Tuberculosis Patients.

At the meeting of the board of charities last night, Commissioner Castle presiding, 1t was decided to authorize the Brookside home com mittee to get plans and estimates for the establishment of a tubercu- losis dormitory to be located on the third floor of the building. MT Cas- tie said they have such a place at the Springside in New Haven and found 1t the proper thing. Super intendent Brennan was authorized to purchase the necessary quantity of seeds for planting. The matter of sending a woman back to the old country was referred to the superin- tendent of poor. Dr De Liguori ap- peared before the board and com plained that some changes are need ed in the system of handling pa tients of the town physicians. He cited case which he claimed came to his notice about year or so ago where the town physician found a patient whom he had been sent to treat had $6 in his pocket and the physician appropriated four of the six for his services. In reply to a query to the name of the patient or that of the physician, Dr De Liguori said both had left his memory. He suggested that certain sum of mon ey be set aside for the care of poor people who do not understand Eng fish. The board felt confident that under the present management all receive uniform treatment, and while 6yo5 from the way the doctors remarks were received that no special fund will be set aside for that purpose.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-04-18
SEES A NEW CITY HALL.
Many Improvements in the Air Wait
 ing Issue of Bonds.

At the next meeting of the board of aldermen letter will be received from the Brooklyn people in regard to the issuing of bonds for the pur- pose of Improvements which are needed in all parts of the city. The plan is advocated by all sections of the city and If carried out according to suggestions will be an immense undertaking. Attorneys Lynch and LawlOr nave been studying the situ- ation for some time and as every thing in connection with the scheme is now ready, a petition will be sent to the aldermanic body at the next meeting asking that body to give the mayor power to appoint fifteen men to act as committee to look into the bonding scheme.
 The plan is to issue about $3,000,- 900 of bonds within the next fifty years. It is proposed to begin with an issue of about $500, 900 as this is thought to be sufficient to start the ball rolling.
 One of the first things that will be advocated if the plans materialize is new city hall. The present one has been the subject for much talk the past few years and at one time it was proposed to alter 1t, but the plan fell through. Parts of it have been condemned and only 1,100 peo- pie are allowed to enter the hall up- stairs when any event is going on, as the gallery is considered unsafe.
 The bond enthusiasts also have visions of getting money to put all the streets in this city in excellent condition, that is, to pave the great CT part of them. They do not believe in spending money yearly on dirt roads which are washed away during every rainstorm. There are many other improvements which the pro- motors have in mind and they ex- pect to receive encouragement from the mayor and the board of alder men.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-04-18
TIMELY TOPICS

Get your seed at D. l.. Dickinson & Sons. All fresh this season.
 I. Chase has just received a line of school hats for girls. Every shape and material shown.
 Mahon the tailor will tell you all the little details about the making of clothes. Suits s16 up.
 Try a loaf of Sc bread at French's s bakery. Wagons go to all parts of city.
 Halpern's bargain store at North Main street is selling tea kettles. wash boilers and china chamber suits at low prices.
 The Upson. Singleton & Co.'S se- lecficn of suits at SIP, sI3.50 and SIS are fine sellers.
 When you want interior decor1- tfons W. H. Hoffman can show you handsome papers and draperies.
 Everything in the housefurnishing line at Boston Furniture Co. See their big line of go-carts.
 E. ]. Finn has a handsome line of ties and oxfords. They have every kind of styles and prices.
 Tf you want a Harvard college cut suit Jones. Morgan ( Co can supply you with them.
 Special sale in ladies' waists at Miller & Peck's. See their line of notion specials.
 Ne~ York Mattress Co have low prices on rugs. quilts. mattings. feather pillows. etc.
 Opening sale Of upholstery. lace curtains and carpets at acid < Hughes this week
 Have Browns Quickfre charcoal in the house always ready to take Of the chill
 Grieve. Bisset & Hollands snni- verszry sale prices surpaxs anything they nave offered yet
 Thursday will bs bargain day at carrznSl See the new linen. Isxn and hsti<te FuwRs and shirt wstsfs.
 Rightly made clothing. the Kind suitable for youns and old. is dis PisEed st J. B. Nuilingz ( Sons.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-04-18
THE OFFICIAL REPORT.
Of the Explosion on the Kearsarge
 Last Week.

New York, April 18.-The Herald to-day prints a cable dispatch from Caimanera, Cuba, which purports to contain a circumstantial report of the accident last week on the bat tleship Kearsarge, the official yer sion of which in detail is not yet available. The dispatch says:
 'sThe Kearsarge had finished two very successful runs firing at targets on Friday afternoon, using all four guns of her forward turret. One gun, the left thirteen inch piece, was loaded when the firing ceased. Lieutenant Hudgins, the turret off, cer, and Lieutenant Graeme, the unl- pire, remained in the turret discus sing some firing rules.
 The turret crew, about ten min- utes after firing ceased, began to unload the gun. Three sections of the charge had been withdrawn by metal hooks and placed on the tur- ret floor, when the man handling the hooks accidentally short circuited the switch to the electric ammuni- tion hoist behind him, causing the arc which fused the metal of the switch. The molten particles drop ped into the powder on the floor and seeing the danger, the man jumped headlong down through the turret and was but slightly injured.
 "Lieutenants Hudgins and Graeme and eleven seamen were seriously burned. No explosion took place and no sound was heard by the off, cers on the bridge, but smoke and flame burst from the turret.
 Fire quarters were sounded and hose laid to the fire with great promptnessl It was put out without difficulty and further damage pre- vented. The burned men were re- moved at once.
 "Six of the enlisted men were dead. Lieutenant Hudgins died at a quarter of four o'clock the next morning. and Lieutenant Graeme, who was removed at once to his own ship, the Maryland, died at 6 o'clock. The condition of the in- jured men is favorable"