davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

l Mrs. Bur-rke's good ma-an talk iv r-rules iv ordher an minutes an tn eom-ity iv tn whole"
 "'Tis little I know iy tn com-ity | iy tn whole or tn com-ity iv tn half or amy oI com-ity." protested Po- liceman Flynn.
 Thin 'tis time ye Earned" an- swered Mrs. Flynn.
 Of course it is unnecessary to say that Policeman Flynn followed the course his wife had outlined for him. That was essential to domestic peace. He mastered few parliamentary terms. and he went to the ball, and he danced. He 'gr-rabbed the gir-rl' and he grabbed her tight, and then in solemn manner they described vari- ous uneven circles on the floor of the nall. But Policeman Flynn was not happy. Tn grabbin tn gir-rl is all r-right. if ye c'u'd shtop there" he said. but he seriously objected to the rest of the programme He tried to beg off, but his wife would not per. init it. Instead. she kept picking out new partners for him, and it really seemed as if the most influential mem bers of the lodge were the homeliest. She began with girls, progressed to women, and the end came when he saw her approaching with dumpy and awkward little woman who must have weighed in the neighborhood of 250 pounds. How can I ta-alk parli'. mint'ry la-aw whin that's shtanding on me toes2" he muttered to himself meanwhile looking about for some means of escape. His eye fell on an open window that seemed to have been placed there for his sole benefit.
 When Policeman Flynn struck the ground he found himself in a light shaft, walled in on all sides There was no escape except by means of a rope or a ladder. Meanwhile the sounds that came from above told him there was excitement in the dance hall. and he waited patiently to see what would happen next. When things had quieted down somewhat several heads were thrust out of the window, and his wife's voice aoatea down to him with the query: Bar ney, are ye there?"
 T am." he replied
 Don't ye know 'tis not the wa.av out?' was the next question. and there was world of sarcasm in the tone.
 I'm not lukkin fr tn wa-ay out" he answered, surlily.
 Thin what are ye doin' there?"
 His answer to this was cold and pointed. and there was something of both bitterness and reproach in the tone when, after a pause. he trusted himself to speak.
 "I'm shtudyin' parlrmint'ry la,aw." he said. lis meetin' iv tn com-ity iv tn hole.'
 Copyright. by the Century Col
 Copyright, 1906. by Joseph B. BowlsA)
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Had Church Roof Fixed.

Miles Finlen, the rich Montana cop per miner, visited some relatives In Bay City, Mich, recently. He attend ed services in an old wooden church. and while there rainstorm came up. The roof leaked, and some water fell on Finlen's neck. After the services had ended he asked one of the church officials: Why in blazes don't you give people a decent place to worship in?" T suspect it's because we haven the money" was the suggestive reply. Next afternoon material for new rocf began to arrive in front Of the church and Finlen walked into the pas tors study with check for $750. Fix up your old roof" is all he said. --Iadianapolis News.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Ionoest and Oldest Tunnel.

The near completion of the Penn svlvania tunnel reminds the American Israelite of the oldest known tunnel in the world, that of Shiloah, near Je- rusalem. It was used as an acque- duet. The famous inscription, dis covered a few years ago. celebrates the first meeting of the diggers from both sides. Newspapers did not ap- pear in those days, and so the event cannot be exactly dated, but 1t most probably took place under King Heze- kiah. about 700 B. C., and is an in teresting testimony to the high state of civilization among the Jews at a time when Europe was inhabited by SayageS
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

knows l never e'u'd da-ance Ono, think I see mesilf whir-rlin r-round like thim fellies Barnum used fir to bring over from some haythin la-and
 Tn only wa-ay yell get me to da-ance is tn wa-ay tn byes did to Began
 Dye ray mimoer Began. tn time they had him out to tn picnic? He was an awk kard felly that niver had done annything more gra-aceful than carry bod iv brick up a ladder He c'u'dn't da-anee amy more than a COW that's tangled in ba-arb wire fince, but tn byes an tn gir-rls was bound fir to have him thry. an so they made peg-top iv him. Some iv tn la ads held him while tn r-rist iv thim .ound a clo'es-line r-round him. Thin. at tn wor-rd, they r-run with tn line an he began fir to shpin
 Ono. but I can see him now, Talk about ye-er r-round da-ances? There niyer was tn akel iv that wan iv Regan's. He'd be shpinnin' yet If he hadn't gone through a windy iv
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

When physician tells a woman, suf- fering from female trouble, that an operation is necessary 1t, of course, frightens her.
 The very thought of the operating table and the knife strikes terror to her heart. As one woman expressed it, when told by her physician that she must undergo an operation, she felt that her death knell had sounded.
 Our hospitals are full of women who are there for just such operations!
 It is quite true that these troubles may reach a stage where an operation is the only resoHrce, but such cases are much rarer than is generally supposed, because q great many women have been cured by Lydia F. Pinkham' S Vegetable Compound after the doctors had said an operation must be per formed. In fact, up to the point where the knife must be used to secure instant relief. this medicine is certain to help.
 The strongest and most grateful statements possible to make come frona women who, by taking Lydia E. Pink hams Vegetable Compound, have escaped seriSus operations.
 Margrite Ryan, Treasurer of St. Andrews Society, Indianapolis, Ind, writes of her cure as follows:
 Dear Mrs Pinkham.-
 q cannot find words to express my thanks for the good Lydia l.. pinkhams Vegetable Compound did me. The doctor said I could not get well unless I had an operation for the trouble from which suffered. l knew l could not stand the strain of an operation and made up my mind would be an invalid for life. Hearing how Lydia E. Pipkhams Ack Mrc- DlnLha,n'S Afyirp-A kcu
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
A FOOD CONVERT.
Good Food the True Road to Health

The pernieious habit some persons still have Of relying on nauseous drugs to relieve dyspepsia, keeps up the patent medicine business and helps keep up the army of dyspeptics.
 Indigestion - dyspepsia is caused by what is put into the stomach in the way of improper food, the kind that so taxes the strength of the di- gestive organs they are actually crip- pied.
 When this state is reached. to resort to stimulants is like whipping a tired horse with a big load. Every addi tional effort he makes under the lash increases his loss of power to move the load
 Try helping the stomach by leaving of heavy, greasy, indigestible food and take on Grape-Nuts-light. easily di- gested, full of strength for nerves and brain, in every grain of it. There's no waste of time nor energy when Grape. Nuts is the food
 '1 am an enthusiastic user of Grape Nuts and consider it an ideal food" writes a Maine man:
 T had nervous dyspepsia and was all run down and my food seemed to do me but little good. From reading an adv. I tried Grape-Nuts food. and after few weeks steady use of it, felt greatly improved.
 Am much stronger, not nervous now, and can do more work without feeling so tired, and am better every way.
 .I relish Grape-Nuts best with cream and use four heaping teaspoonfuls at a meal. I am sure there are thou. sands of persons with stomach trou- ble who would be benefited by using Grape-Nuts" Name given by Postum Co, Battle Creek. Mich. Read the lit. tie book, "The Road to Melville" iE
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Repartee Won Hearers.

A good story is told of Frances Lady Waldegrave, who long since paid her debt to nature. She was woman of quick repartee and many husbands. It was soon after her fourth matrimo- nal venture with Chichester For tesuue. an Irishman, that she appear ed in q Dublin theater with the bride groom. From the gallery man shouted down to her: And which iv the four do you like best?" From her box her answer rang out: The lrlsh- man, of course" And the Irish peo- pled house rang with applause.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Vesuvius Dust Travelled Far.

Paris was overspread with a d:y, yellcwish fog the morning of April il of this year. A scientist, believing that the fog had been caused by the eruption of Mount Vesuvins. placed upon the roof of his dwelling a series of plates covered with glycerin to catch the dust in the fog. It was found that part of the deposit on the plates was very fine sand, complete ly identical with the ash sent up by Nesuvius in 1922. In addition to this sand the fog contained some perfectly spherical globules of oXidized iron.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

tn pay-vilion."
 'Tis easy da-ancin'," urged Mrs Flynn. All ye ha-ave to do is to gr-rab ye-er gir-rl an go r-round an r-round till ye fall or tn music shtops"
 Will ye wind me up?" demanded Policeman Flynn.
 Don't be ma-akin' fool iv ye-er- silf," retorted Mrs. Flynn, indignant ly. Yell ha-ave 10 da-ance, an yell ha-ave to talk to thim iy parli'mint'ry la-aw. Ye must lux 1t up sos ye can lux wise an use tn words like ye knew all there was to it. 'Tis a gr-reat D int yell ma-ake fir me in that, f'r livery wan iv thim knows that tn wife " ma-an that's poshted on parli'mint'ry la-aw is val'able officer fir to ha-ave. Ye sh'ud hear
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Woman's Progress in China.

Chinese women are being enamel pated. Schools for the daughters of maniarins have been opened, and some Chinese girls are even attending courses at the University of Tokio. Periodicals for women are issued in some Of the larger cities, and a book has been published which is devoted entirely to a plea that girls should be allowed to select their own husbands. The empress encourages this move ment. She has endowed a school for the families of high officials. and has given orders that the practice of foot binding must be given up.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

Vegetable Compound had saved otherw women | from serious operations 1 decided to try 1t and in less than four months 1 was entirely cured, and words fail to express ny thank. fulness.n
 Miss Margret Merkley, of 275 Sd Street, Milwaukee, Wis, writes: Dear Mrs Pinkham:- sI4oss of strength, extreme nervousness, severe shooting pains through the pelvic organs, cramps, bearing down pains, and an irritable disposition compelled me to seek medical advice. The doctor, after making an examination, said that 1 had a serious female troubleand alteration. and advised an operation as my only hope. To this strongly objected--and decided as a last resort to try Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound,
 "To my surprise the alteration healed, all the bad symptoms disappeared, and am once more strong, vigorous and well; and 1 can not express my thanks for what it has done for me"
 Serious feminine troubles are steadi. ly on the increase among women-and before submitting to an operation every woman should try Lydia E. . Pinlsham's Vegetable Compound, and write Mrs. Pinkham at Lynn. Mass. 1 for advice.
 For thirty years Lydia F. Pinkham's 1 Vegetable Compound has been curing the worst forms of female complaints, all functional troubles, inflammation, alteration, falling and displacement, weakness, irregularities, indigestion and nervous prostration. Any woman who could read the many grateful letters on file in Mrs. Pinkham's office would be convinced of the efficiency of her advice and Lydia F.. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Makes Celiuloid Fireproof.

M. Gavain, a French chemist, has patented a process for rendering eel luloid proof against fire. This result is obtained by adding to celluloid mass in course of preparation. when at the highest point of liquidity, cor tain quantity of salts-phosphates, bi- carbonate of ammonia, or maSnesia. Celluloid thus prepared, when touched by fire or flame, gives forth gas that checks combustion.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Size of Suns Corona.

The brightness of the corona, or ring of light encircling the sun, was meas ured by MT. Charles Fabry during the last total eclipse. He found the light of point a twentieth degree from the suns edge to be equivalent to about 720-candle power, os a little more than a fourth of the brightness of the full moon The sky near the uneclipsed sun is 1000 times as bright.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

neys were weak from childhood, and for eight or ten years past my back was very painful and 1 had many an- moving symptoms besides. When I began taking Doan's Kidney Pills l weighed only 120 To-day I weigh 165, and am in better health than for years. Doan's Kidney Pills have been my only kidney medicine during four years past. They bring me out of every attack"
 Sold by all dealers. 50 cents box. Foster Milburn Co, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
It,s StrenIiouS.

There is no true Superiority except that created by true merit. The req son Hunts Lightning Oil outclasses all other liniments-it has the merit it does something. See wha. it will do fer cuts. burns, bruises, sprains. sore and stiff muscles and joints. Your surprise will only be exceeded by your qualification.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
If Will Stay There.

Tn my family medicine chest no remedy is permitted to remain unless it proves beyond doubt the best to be obtained for it's particular purpose. For treating all manner of skin troubles, such as Eczema, Tetter, Ringworm, etc, Hunts Cure has held it's place for many years. have failed to find a surer remedy. It cures itch ing instantly"
 R. M. Swann,
 Franklin, La.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
German Life Insurance.
J. O. Monroe.
 Atchison, Kan.

According to the Cologne Gazette, there are in Germany more insurance policies than habitants-S0,0 ,0o0, 900 policies, as against a population of un- der 60 OOO. .O00; which shows that a large proportion are insured in two or more companies. The indemnities paid by German insurance companies amount to about s24 10000 a month.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Gasoline and Alcohol.

The greater safety of alcohol as compared with gasoline for conner cial uses. is due to the fact that it will not ignite from pure radiated heat, as gasoline does, that water will extfnguish burning alcohol while 1t will only spread fire of gasoline, aAd that the flames of burning alcohol ra- diates very little heat while that of gasoline radiates heat very rapidly.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
New York Fond of Amusement.

There is more money, per capita, spent in New York city every year for amusements than in any other part of the world The people spend f2 per cent more than those in the metropolis of any other state or coun. ty, IS per cent. more than those Tn the next largest cities, 36 per cent. more than those in smaller towns, and 57 Der cent more than those in the rural districts.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Never Disappoints.

Many extensively advertised reme- dies are failures when L.!t to the test. Hunts Lightning Oil is an exception Confidence in it is never misplaced disappointment never follows its use. It is surely the erandest emer- gency remedy now obtainable. Fer cuts, burns, sprains. aches and pains, I know no equal"
 Geo. E. Paddock,
 DOpinhan Mo-
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Beware of Ointments for Catarrh
 that Contain Mercury.

as mercury will surely destroy tlle of smell and completely derange the whole system when entering it through the mucous surfaces. Such articles should never be used except on preserip- tDns from reputable physicians, the damage they Will do Is ten fold to the good you possibly de- rive from them. HaiB Cstafrh Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney G Co., Toledo, O.. contains mer- cury, and Is taken internally. acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces Of the system. In buyag Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get the genuine It s taken internally and made in Toledo, Obl3. 1y F J Cheney X Co. Testimonials free.
 Ssid by Druggists. Price, 75c. per bottle.
 Take Halls Family Pills Tor constipation.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
American Autos Abroad.

During the 12 months ended June 90. 13o5,. the value of American auto mobiles exported was $3,4970lb, which is $10o0,0o more than during the previous year. England took the greatest proportion. sl94,709. with British North America second, Mex leo third and France fourth.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

p1l loIo Zto So till oti ob , that it is important to keep the kidneys
 well, and avoid the backache, D e a ii Il g. down pain,Z headache, dizziness, languor and other common signs of W c q k kidneys. Mrs. C Il a Fl c s E.
 Smith, of 22 Boyden St, Woonsocket, R. L. says: My kid
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Monkeys Bite Fatal.

Though bitten twice by monkey and warned that third bite would be fatal. Mrs. Powell. of Bath, Eng land, refused to part with the animal She was bitten again, blood poisoning set in and death from heart failure followed.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
They Should,

My honest conviction, based upon my own experience and that of my friends, is that Hunts Cure will cure a larger per cent. of skin troubles, especially of an itching variety, than any other remedy. Certainly those af- flicted with any form of itch should try it."
 J. O. Monroe.
 Atchison, Kan.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Wnman Confederate Officer.

An inmate of the Home for Needy Confederate Women in Richmond, Va, is Capt. Sally l.. Tompkins, the only woman who received q commission from President Davis, of the confed'
 eraey. She was a captain of cavalry.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
weolen Hats in Thousands.

The daily production of woolen hats in the town of Monza, Italy, is about 15O.Oo0. There are If factories, with 7,U00 employees.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Russia Today.

The Marquis de Custine once defined the Russian government as an absolute monarchy tempered by assassination. The present situation is described by Constantin Waliszewski as "an an archy, tempered by state of siege
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

DysbebSfa Ks offcn Cansed By Cdfa,1l of fhe .Gomach-Pc1nna Relic5ics Ca fa,1h offhe .9omaeh aHaKs Therefore q Remedy Eo,. DpSfcbsid.
 e-e-s-s-s-s--.ses-s-.-s-s ....s... l Hon. NJ. c. Butler, Ex [. x Sem ator from South Carolina for two terms, in letter from Washington, ! n. C., writes to the Peruna Medicine Co.,, as follows: ] "T can recommend Peruna for | dyspepsia and stomach trouble. Ii 1 have been using your medicine for . q short period and feel very much l relieved. IT is indeed q wonderful | medicine, besises q good fonic." ss-s-e -s-ss s-s-s-s-s- s-s-s . s-s . CATARRII of the stomach is the cor N rect name for most cases of dyspep-
 sia. In order to cure eat arrh of the stomach the catarrh must be cradicated.
 Only an internal catarrh remedy, such as Peruna, is available.
 Peruna exactly meets the indications.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
A Dream.

What do you consider a peculiar experienee?"
 Well. had just paid the grocer his bill when"
 When something woke you upr- Houston Post
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

There Is no reason why men shouldn't love their enemies as they love themselves-esp if they happen to be their own worst ene- mics
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
You Don't Have to Wait.

Every dose makes you feel better: Lax. fs5 keeps your whole inside right, Not one gripe ill full bottle. Sold on the money bacE plan everywhere. Price 50 cents.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
A Harmless Laxative.

II you must take laxative, take a harm less one. LaxEos does not gripe, therefore does not irritate. Irritation IS what does the harm Price 30 cents.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

Stiffness. Stitches, Lameness, Cramp all deeamp when you apply. St. Jacobs Oil.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

If we could only see ourselves as others see us-but We can't, so there's no use worrying about it.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

Don't accuse men of acting the fool; perhaps they are not really acting.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

You can do your dyeing in half an hour with PUTNAM FADELESS DYES. Ask your druggist.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

Love is seldom blind to the financial interests connected with matrimoni- al deal.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

Did you ever hear of man falling in love with a woman's intellect?
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
A WOMANfS KIDNEYS.

Women have much to do, so many pains to suffer, so many critical
 r,orinI. tn tro, thrnnr rh
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

No man imagines he is as homely as he is.
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25
Mrs. winslow's soothing syrup.

For chiiien ssftens the gums, reduces in aIays fain. cuIes wind eoiie Zoe bottle
The Monticellonian., 1906-10-25

Pnkhams AdyGeA Woman Best Understands Komans Ills
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-07-07

the she stuff 1915 to S4.45, bulls So so
to S4.OO, yeals So. so to Sc. so. Stockers
and feeders are above are a quarter
above short time ago, but not much
doing in this line, stockers So. 25 to
$500, feeders 1855 to s435. Total re-
ssipts for two days $4,000, of which
5000 were in the quarantine division;
5000 here today.
Hog receipts fell down 10000 last
week from the previous week, to
50, 600 for the week, and the price
went up Is to 20 cents during the
week Run continues moderate this
week, and prices strong, market up 5
cents today, top $3.50, bulk Sc. 60 to
s6.65, weights below 200 pounds SELL
ing closer to the top than a week ago,
s6.65 today. July 18th Is the date
now set for hogs to reach 81 90 here.
Receipts last month increased 40, 900
oyer same month last year, and the
month took rank with some of the big
Junes before the drought year. Aver
age weight for June POS pounds Run
today $4,000.
Mutton prices have declined 25 to
30 cents since a week ago, because of
bad condition of the trade in the East,
and liberal receipts at the leading
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-07-07
Kansas City Markets.

Stock Yards, Kansas City, Mo, Tues
day, July Sd, 1906
The tendency in the cattle market
this week is to emphasize the spread
between the better class of beef cat
tie and the lower grades. Today's
market illustrates the drift of the
situation, best steers and heifsrs
strong to 10 higher, top S.. 90, medium
and plain steers weak, cows weak to
10 lower. stockers and feeders dull.
There will be no trading here tomor-
row, the 4th, which explains part of
the weakness on certain grades.
Grass cattle from the range country
north of the quarantine line have not
started yet, but the movement will
begin next week. and be we'll under
way by the middle of July. A good
many veal calves have been shipped
IN from the ranges. resulting in a
break of so to IS cents in the price in
the last ten days, and one shipment
OF Kansas grass steers arrived yester-
day, selling at S4.65. The best grass
steers from the Indian and Oklahoma
territories are selling at $500 to 81 go.
about steady with a week AFRO. grass
cows in that division at 81 Is to 50. 95.
Bulk OF the fed beef steers sell an
$500 to $3.50, anything toppy upwards
to 5000, although this price has not
yet been paid for a full load. Best
heifers bring s4.T5 to $685., bulk of
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-07-07

Hint Allison, of Nemaha county.
once had an English bull pup of
which he thought considerable, says
the Robinson Index. He was a good
dog around the house and helped in
taking care of the cattle. A neighbor
one day tried to buy him, but Mr.. AL
lison told him he didn't want to sell
him. The neighbor offered SIS, but
that didn't look like much to the
owner of the dog. Finally the neigh
Dor said: 'I've got steer calf over
home 1 will trade you for him" This
proved to be persuasive enough to
make the transfer and the neighbor
took the dog home and returned with
the calf. Mr.. Allison kept the calf
until it grew into a beef steer and
SOLD it for $50 and he kept track of
the investment until it got to an
amount over 5000. That was one dog
which proved to be a good invest
ment