The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1906-12-10
ALL KINDS OF
CAPTAINS
Washinston's CIud Gives a
jolly Banquet.
JOKES ON THE PRESIDENT
Clubmen Take Liberties With High
and Low-Seore Taft. Root.
Tillman and heaIst

spelling. the trip 20 Panama. adjust
ment OF Affairs In Cuba. discharge OF
the negro battalion. the recent cleo
lions. exploits OF modern nnanclers and
mort OF the matters which have re
Gently figured In the news OF the day
made sport NJ The first winter dinner
OF the Grldlron club.
The dinner was held In the New VII
lard hotel. and captains OF Industry
mingled with President Rooseyelts
captains Of the administration. The
president was the principal guest, and
with him were Secretaries Shaw, Taft
aud Hitchcock. Vice President Fair
banks had a seat beside the president,
and the Italian. British, Russian aud
japanese ambassadors had seats at the
presidents table. SO did Speaker Can.
non.
From New York came J. Plerpont
Morgan, Edward II. Hartman. Stuy-
yesant Fish. James Speyer. +. L. I'm
dcrwood. Paul Morton, Frank A. Van
derlip. Timothy l.. Woodruff. Oscar S.
Straus and Perry Belmont The army
was represented by Lieutenant Gener-
al II. c. Corbln Tetired) and Major
General George l.. Gillespie (retiredD.
President Roosevelt Is democratic
guest at any social function, but II Is
az Grldlron club affairs that he most
relaxes aud gives laughter It's full
measure.
Grldlron club humor takes liberties
with high and low, the president not
excepted. but IL Is always understood
that he shall have an opportunity to
reply. Never does he neglect this priv
llege. The times the president has sat
nc the Gridiron board are many, but
never yet did he fail to give the fun
makers as good as they sent.
The unexpected policies Of the Roose-
welt administration have been targets
for much Gridiron wit and humor In
the last five years. and no guest has
enjoyed more good natured grilling
than the president. Once or twice the
satires have been so severe that the
president, while laughing at the points
scored. has taken occasion to make n
serious speech. crlticlsing the icono-
elastic hosts and his opponents in and
out OF congress.
With the menu card was a diction-
airy. which abounded in truths as well
as simpllfed spelling Each page con.
tanned one or two wise saws and II
Eliminating maxims. Here are few:
"a word to the wise depends on how
It's spelt."
You never miss the water when the
stock goes high"
There's many slip twixt congress
and the supreme court" This was
printed Immediately above Senator
Beveridge's picture.
"Fine feather busters make fine gov
errors"
Even feather duster will turn"
"The big stick never strikes twice
in the same place; 1t doesn't have to-"
"Many are sold, but few admit It."
cts wise candidate who goes to
Mexico"
where there's will there's an in
herltance tax"
HE laughs best who spends only
S6lS."
"a little lemon is dangerous thing"
There were songs addressed to
Messrs. Roosevelt, Tillman and Taft
and the big secretary OF war had an
exciting introduction for his speech.
This was in the form of an act entitled
Cuba" which gave the Gridiron
clubs idea of how the secretary of war
had settled the trouble in the island.
A club member. made up to repre-.
sent Mr.. Taft suddenly entered, max
ing much noise and carrying what
seemed to be redhot stove.
well Mr.. Taft" inquired the pre-
siding officer, what are you going to
do with that junk you are carrying
aroundT
This y the Cuban situation" re-
marked Taft, dropping the stove as he
rubbed his burned hands, "and l am
going to leave it on the front steps of
the White House"
'Unless all the battleshlps are out Of
commission the chances are that you
won't find anybody at home," said the
presiding officer.
"Well," said Taft, "Tve got to go
back to more peaceful things, such as
suspendlng orders about negro troops,
so I'll leave 1t here"
With that the counterfeit secretary
of war rushed from the room amid
cries of stop that manr'
The president in perplexlty asked |
what should be done with the trouble
some question and club member
answered:
"rhls is horse on us, and we ought |
to meet this emergency by establishing |
a stable government"
A club member made up to repre- |
sent Judge Magoon was forced to sit |
on the stove while band of Cuban |
danced around, waving ma |
chetes. 1t was proposed that the club |
ignore the Cubans and FIJI the offices |
themselves. 1t was announced there |