Daily Kennebec journal., 1906-03-13
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He stood in the hall at midnight.
But the clock was not striking the hour.
For his careful touch had stilled it,
Gre the storm had time to lower.
He said. as the stairs he climbed softly,
"A hero OF labor I'm like;
For surely this night I've &St1t4Q
T -baitiaisrs Asastsean.
A philadelphia commerctal traveller tells
the following Of little SOcialy gathering
in the western part Of ths. stasa: {.
ssasing ssaea the hsssTs s s ps t %
executed a gh2diE nocsnrs fsw'ith prec!s
still an intervSi - Writing 70 besbridgea
In the grim siIenee She turned IL an 5ol2
gentleman on her right ana ASKED
Would y2n like Il sonata before dns
..The OLD gehtlenan gave a start OF sur
prise and pleasure. <-.s's--er -
= Why. yesa thanks he said: I>had a
stand another,
An Irish private went to ask his colonel
for a week S leave, on the ground that he
had been exceedingly useful to his wife
at, her spring cleaning the year before,
and that he should like to be so again.
1T would give me-" said the colonel, the
greatest possible pleasure to grant your
request. but am sorry to say that have
received q letter from your wife tc say
that you were of no use to her at th..
spring cleaning and she hoped you would
not get leave Tie man sOrroWfuly
turned to go, but stopped at the door
and, turning 10 his commanding officer.
said: May say another word, colonel?'
by al means" answered the Other.
There must BE-" r,jeined the man,"iWe ma two
room, for | never had n wife"
Nil Nisi Bonunl-Last summer Ethsrd
died at Washington a lawyer. Whp for
many years had shocked a Erge ntnnher
of friends by his rather llberai views
touching religion. 49,
A friend of the deceased who cut short
4 Canadian trip to hurry back to Wash
jngtOn for the purpose Of attending the
last rites for his colleague entered the
late lawyers fome some minutes after
the beginning Of the service
What part Of the service is this
he inquired in Il whisper OF another legal
friend standing in the crowded hallway.
i've lust come myself" SAID the other,
but d. believe they've opened for The de-
fence. e."-f1arpers Weekly. =;
Professor Starr the famous ethnologist.,
WAS in his humorous and whimsical way
accusing women of barbarism.
And she is not only barbarous-shn is
illogical and inconsistent" he exclaimed
Il was walking in the country one day
with a young woman. In a grow. W.
came upon Il boy about to ship up tr"...
There was a nest in the tree and from =,
certain angie It was possible to see in it
three eggs.
"'Ycm wicked little boy. said my com
panion, are you going up there to rob
that nest?'
~ am the boy replied coolly.
How can you?' she exclaimed. Think
how the mother will grieve over the loss
Of her eggs
~. !" On, sbe Won't c3rss s9i4 the boy.
'she's up there on yoHr hae'''.- r
=
ss,Y8y,r true humorist.'' slid Jerome X
JerQUle. 5.'sPss hlHnor everywhere Even
fn hif' f'hwn misfortunes. If there is' humor
in them. he laughs in a hearty. unieigned
way. Let. us all. cultivate this attitude
which / can best illustrate with the story
nf sidt Bt,n; ILase:fr.
''Sldi Ben Hassan lived in Bagdad where
he was noted for his thrift and his genial
; 's'one becen,ber day he was sumnioned
tn the court Ut the caliph. 4 place he had
iberilous. where it behuoved une to walk
carefully. :; .-.
The caliEh was not Chr!stianizcd yet
he permitted ill his subjects to make him
Christmas presents! - p
p. .'.'Fhe question was. what present should
Sidi take" IF he took something tCo cost
~ and magnificent he might be .rebuked
for presumption If ne took something too
cheap he might be rehuked for parsinony
'Sidi thought this matter out carefully
and decided rn tine bunch of bananas.
grown in his own garien: There were
some superb banana. and some superb
cocOanuts. He chose finally the former
THE bananas in due course he pre-
scented to the caliph and, alas, they failed
70 please
The caliph considered the gift an insult
in'its IneanTtess AND in a voice of thunder
he ordered that the bananas every one be
stuffed down Sidi's throat.
so the poor. fellow stood before the
dals. the cOurtfers and the ruler looked on
with smiling interest and the bananas one
by one were crammed down Sidi's gullet
Christmas morning.
AT theAelexenth Sidi though black in
the face. burst into loud laughter
why laughest thou. sirrahT said the
ra1iph. waving aside for the moment the
eanana admfnfst ratrsr.
On s.re';. sidi cried. 4 was just think.
what a good thing it was / didn't bring
the cocoanuts."
In j, murder Ease tried before a certain
Judge. cr,inselnfor 'the defendant urged:
ut rs better thht ninety and nine guilty
rersoSs eseape than that one innucent
In his charge to the jury the Judge Gd-
mitted the soundness of the proposition,
"Gcntlemen. fwtrit YOU to understand
that the ninety and nine have already es-
capped" >
Sir Henry. Irving was once the guest of
hN"r mt lawyers ia nquet in New York
In the course of a graceful address he
said:
You. gentlemen. have given me most
helpfM advice on The art of acting-will
you permit mo TO give You in return n
piece Of advice regarding Your profession +:
My ADVICE. then, is that YOU make your
2r"ss+ s+eNamiration less vigorous. less
1ry bot 10. Il