davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07

SOME FUNNY SPEECHEs.-An Irish
man who was very i'll. when the physi-
clan told him that he must prescribe
an emetic for him, said, Indeed, doc
tor, an emetic will never do me any
good, for / have taken several and
could never keep one Of them upon my
stomach" An Irishman at cards, on
inspecting the pool and finding it de-
ficient, exclaimed: Here is a shilling
short. Who put it in?" A poor Irish
servant maid who was left handed
placed the knives and forks upon the
dinner table in the same awkward
fashion. Her master remarked to her
that she had placed them all left hand
ed. "Ah, true, indeed, sir" she said,
"and so have! Would you be pleased
to help me to turn the table?" Doyle
and Yelverton, two eminent members
of the Irish bar, quarreled one day so
violently that from hard words they
came to hard blows. Doyle a power
full man with the fists, knocked down
Yelverton twice, exclaiming, You
scoundrel, I'll make you behave your
self like a gentleman" To which Yel-
verton, rising. replied, with equal in
dignaticn: mo, sir; never! 1 defy
you! You could not do it!"-London
Spectator.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07

bluff Beaten BY Bluff.


In a Boston secret society 1t was
customary to bring up some trivial or
embarrassing incident in the career of
the candidate as part Of the initiation,
making it out very serious matter.
Jones was a newcomer, and they
could find nothing to jolly him about.
The president. after long speech
warning him Of the seriousness OF the
step he was about to take, and how
essential 1t was that his character
should be without blemish, in order
that the high standard of the society
might be maintained. asked If any one
had any questions they wished to ask
the candidate.
This being Jones's first experience In
a secret society, he was very nervous,
and when a fake telegram was read,
purporting to be from prominent
business man from the town in which
Jones had previously resided, suggest
ing that his name be held over one
month for further investigation, he was
noticeably disturbed.
Several members took the floor and
spoke strongly Of the necessity OF pro-
tecting the society from any question
able candidates, aid after a half-hours
suspense, in which 1t was noticed that
Jones was trying in vain to suppress
his agitation. he was asked what he
had to say relative to the charges that
had been made.
He replied in a drawing tone that ne
did not have much to say, as the man
who had written the telegram had been
dead about ten years.
Jones did not know whether the man
was dead or not. but knew the man did
not know him, so the bluff worked.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07

ma to take one hundred choice men and
through this wood gain the enemy's
rear. In the charge which the British
made up the lane. Major Money and
.Lieutenants Gibson apd Cope fell.
Tarleton saw that something must be
done or his forces would be cut to
pieces In a short time. With that i'm
petuosity for which he was noted, he
charged with the main body Of. his
cavalry, with the determination to drive
the Americans from the tobacco barn
and from the top Of the hill. The men
in the tobacco barn poured In a well
directed vclley, which dismounted
many a Briton and drove the rest be-
yond the rivulet.
Tarleton now almost frantic, drew
off his whole forces and having formed
in the new, made desperate charge
against the Americans posted on the
top of. the hill Here he was met by a
small band of one hundred and fifty
riaemen under Twiggs and Jackson Of
Georgia. These men fought with dess
peration and in the moment when about
to be trampled down by the British
horses, company Of reserves, under
Colonel Richard Winn, came up and
turned the tide of victory. Tarleton
seeing that he was beaten, fed.
Whist the battle was raging at
Blackstock's house, Clarke. Chandler
and Hammond with one hundred men
under their command. were running
the British In the rear. The horses
which the British had left behind when
they made the charge had all been TAX
en- by Clarke and his party. When
the British came back they found that
the horses were gone. It was dark
all rushing to the rear, Clarke and his
men turned loose all the horses except
a few and set out for Sumter's camp.
In this battle the American loss was
three killed and five wounded. Colonel
Sumter was wounded In the breast
early in the battle. The command of
the troops and management of the
battle devoIved upon Twiggs and
Jackson. The fight lasted near three
hours after Sumter was wounded. The
British left on the battle field between
ninety and one hundred killed and
near one hundred wounded.
The Americans having buried their
three dead men and made provision for
the comfort of the wounded British
moved off In good order. The wounded
Wings were taken with them. Colonel
Sumter was borne on. litter between
two horses. After crossing the Tiger
the troops were disbanded. The Geor-
yisns directed their course westward; |;
the CarolinianE went to their old
camping grounds. One hundred men
accompanied Sumter to North Caro-
lima Colonel Lacey of Chester, re-
turned to Liberty Hill camp at William
Burris' mill on Turkey creek, York
county. 1t is evident that the Ameri!
cans gained most signal victory at
Blackstack. The forces were nearly
equal In numbers: but Tarleton's
forces were regulars, while Sumter'ss
were mostly raw militia. The Amer
leans did not pursue the flying British,
because night hal come on. Tarleton
camped so soon as the remainder of
his forces and those driven from the
battle ground, met.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07

at and near McAdenville. He en-
listed at Charlotte in 1905, was first
stationed at Columbus, Ohio, and
then at Fort Liscum, Alaska. The
little military garrison there con-
sisted Of 200 soldiers was charged
with the duty Of guarding the fish
ing waters and gold regions against
pOachers. Mr.. Hoke can give an
interesting account of life In that
far away domain, and we trust he
will write out a chapter or two Of 1t
for the Gazette's readers. -. AT
their merry-go-round near the Gray
mill, Mr.. ]. r. Fayssoux and his son
Hunter were seriously cut last Sat
urday night. They are operating
near the Gray mill. Between nine
and ten o'clock disposition was
manifested by some Of the rougher
members of the crowd to beat their
way for rides When the managers of
the merry-go-round undertook to COL
lect the fares or clear the seats, they
were assaulted with knives and
knucks Mr.. ]. r. Fayssoux was
badly lacerated about the head by
knucks, and was dangerously cut on
the shoulder and in the back. A cut
like the letter was made on the
shoulder, the shoulder blade saving
Mr.. Fayssoux from a deeper wound.
A deeper and larger cut lower down
across his back was closed up with
dozen stitches. Mr.. Hunter Fays-
SIOUX lodged one swipe which left
broken knife blade in the horses
head, the second swipe with another
knife caught him under the left arm.
Six stitches were required to close
the wound. While Hunters wounds
are not so serious as his fathers, he
Is painfully and dangerously wound
ed; while his father Is In such condi-
ton that he has taken almost no
nourishment since he was wounded
and in such pain that he Is kept con-
stantly under the influence Of mar
cotics. Yesterday afternoon Elisha
Drank, Marshall Brank and Robert
Inman were tried before Esquires
Stowe and Morris for assault with
deadly weapon. The case was warm
/ ly contested between the attorneys.
Marshall Brank was discharged; the
other two were bound over to court
under a bond of 5000 each. 1t is
believed that these are the men who
had a pistol and used knucks while
the culprits who did the cutting are
at large. The officers are hard at
work to apprehend Will Weaver and
Hilton Mcdonald, who are believed
to have used their knives. Weaver's
father lives at Reepsville. McDon-
aid alias Blank, has worked at Wood
ruff, S. c., and at Buffalo Mills In
Cleveland county.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07

He HAD REMEMBERED.-Hira
Bobbs was absentmiS I'D. He admit
ted that himself. Still, even he was
occasionally surprised by his own fail
ings. One morning he reached his Of
fee unaccountably late. Dear. me-!
he thought. Where can have been?
The answer was not forthcoming
Hiram sat down at his desk and took
out his pocket handkerchief. 1t was
tied tightly in a knot.
Now" he exclaimed, what was that
for? Oh, yes! Marthy told me to get
my shoes soled."
With an air OF resignation to the
whims of womanhood he put on his
hat, closed his desk, and went out to
the "soled- while wait" cobblers
He went In and sat down, took Off his
shoes, and settled back in a chair to
read his newspaper.
What is 1t, Mr.. Bobbs?" inquired
the cobbler.
What? Oh, er-er-er-why-oh
yes! want my shoes soled."
Pardon me. sir" said the cobbler.
'but 1 finished soling them only half
an hour ago. They can't be worn out
yet. sir"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07

AS TO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.-"It's
a fine thing to be a lady or gentle
man." said the bookkeeper.
What's your idea Of gentleman p
inquired the stenographer.
"A man that's clean inside and out;
who neither looks up to the rich mol
down on the poor; who can lose with
out squealing and who can win with
out Dragging; who is considerate OF
women, children and old people; who i:
too brave to lie, too generous to cheat
and who takes his share Of the world
and let's other people have theirs"
And what does it take to make 6
lady?" asked the stenOgrapher.
"A perfect lady is woman who car
hear a choice piece of scandal about
her dearest enemy and then forget it,
answered the bookkeeper
Huh" cried the stenographer
That kind of woman wouldn't be g
lady, she'd be in an asylum for the
dumb."-New York Journal
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07
IMPORTERS AND
ROASTERS Of
HIGH GRADE COFFEES

OUR ROASTING PLANT
Is in Full Operation, and to Those
Who Desire a
Clear, Well Roasted and High Grade
COFFEE
We are Prepared to Furnish It.
We name the following brands:
Old Government Java, Monogram,
Fort Sumter, Blue Ribbon,
arabian Mocha, Mountain Rose,
Morning Glory, Maracaibo, Jamoma
Sunbeam, Electric, Porto Rico,
Red Owl, Acme, Aromatic, Dime.
A Trial Will Convince Consumers OF
the Superior Merits Of Our Roasted
Coffee, and Once Tried Will Use nc
Other.
Packers of Teas, Spices and Soda
put up under our personal supervision
and We Guarantee them Strictly Pure
Goods. Send for samples and prices
before purchasing elsewhere.
F. w. WAGENER & COMPANY,
Charleston, g. @.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07
CARROLL BROS.
YoRKvILLE
MONUMENT WORKS.
MONUMENTS
Qncorporafed.)

We are at present turning out large
numbers Of orders for Monuments and
Tombstones in Granite and Marble.
Our orders are not confined to any
single section, but are coming from all
quarters, and especially from points at
(which some of our work has been
Ierected.
Our marble works are thoroughly
'euuipped with the most improved ce-
vices for handling work rapidly and
at the same time enabling US to give
our customers superior quality at the
most moderate prices.
!, II you intend to put monument OF
EGranite or Marble over the grave OF q
deceased relative. we will be pleased
Ito have you call and see samples OF
sour work and get our prices.
w. BROWN WYLIE,
- Sec. and Treas.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07

WIT OF SCOTCH LUNATIC-This
lunatic asylum story comes from
Glasgow: Two councillors of that
city were taken over a large asylum
the other day by one of the patients,
a safe man. He had led them to a
room to display a view from a win
dow, when some one shut the door,
with its self acting lock, and the three
men were prisoners. The patient alone
preserved his composure, While the
councillors clamored to be released he
remarked:
If were you would be quiet"
No help coming, the councillors grew
desperate. Reads of perspiration stood
on their brows, and they fairly yelled.
If 1 were you," repeated the patient
soothingly, Il would keep quiet"
But we're no daft" pleaded one of
the visitors.
"Hoots mon, that's what l said ma
sci, when / was brocht in"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07
Ths lurkuille Gaqaitsr.
Entered at the Postofflce as Second
Glass Mail Matter.
Prolished Tuesday and Friday.
PUBLISHERS,
W. d. GRIsT,
O. e. GRIsT,
A. M. aRIsE
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION,
ADVERTISEMENTS

Inserted at One Dollar per square for
the tirst insertion, and Fifty Cents per
square for each subsequent insertion.
A square consists Of the space occupied
by ten lines OF this size type.
fB Contracts for advertising space
for three, six and twelve months viii
be made on reasonable terms. The
contracts must In all cases be confined
to the regular business Of the firm or
individual contracting, and the manu-
uscript must be in the office by Monday
at noon when intended for Tuesdays
issue, and on Thursday at noon, when
intended for Fiday's issue.
tB Cards of thanks and tributes Of
respect inserted at the rate Of 10 cents
line.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07
M. L. Carroll. c. w. Carroll
CARROLL BROS.
1.-THE BEST
ON EARTH"
Broad assertion, you say.

Broad assertion. you say.
Well, we can CONVINCE You
without a doubt. We have just re-
ceived a CARLOAD OF OLIVER
CHILLED PLOWS, and we claim that
they are the BEST ON EARTH. They
are sold all over Europe, Asia, Africa,
North and South America, and In fact
wherever land Is titled. Now, as to
their superiority over all other plows.
That is admitted by all. When you
hear this fellow, that fellow and the
other fellow say anything about the
pIow he is trying to sell, he will in
variably say, .'It is as good as the
Oliver" But no better, thus admit
ting that the Oliver Is the BEST. So,
when you buy a plow you will make
no mistake IL you buy an OLIVER.
The Oliver Is guaranteed against
any flaws. Any part Of an Oliver
that breaks as the result Of sandholes
or other defects, Is replaced FREE
OF CHARGE.
We are selling One Pound Package
OF Arm and Hammer Brand Soda for
S Cents.
Come and see US.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07

15' Russell Sage" said a New York
barber to a reporter of the Boston
Herald was gifted with dry humor
for which he didn't get credit. One day
be came in to be shaved, To shave so
great financier is an honor and to
mark the occasion got up new and
fine cake of shaving soap. AS l pre-
pared my distinguished patrons beard
I couldn't help calling his attention to
the soap, which smelled and lathered
beautifully.
This new soap is very nice, sir
said-'cream, cocia oil and dash OF
alcohol
"'Alcohol, eh?' said Mr.. Sage. We'll,
remember I'm a temperance man, so
don't put any more of it into my mouth
than you can help"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07

ks "Yes, Dubley's wife died while you
were abroad"
"Ah! then he's either going to ex-
tremes in his mourning or he's looking
for a new wife"
How do you mean?"
Il notice that he's dyed his hair and
mustache q deep black"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07
Mistellaneuus 8eaains.
IN COUNTIES ADJOINING.
News and Comment Clipped From
Neighboring Exchanges.
CHEROKEE.

Gaffney Ledger, September>4: Every
body who knows Happy Cal Parish
and came in touch with him during
his recent bereavement know how
deeply touched the genial hotelist was
at the death of Emmett-his adopted
son. Cal will never forget the boy
who. by his kindly disposition. had
entwined himself around his heart
strings and who can never be re-
placed, and in order that he may
have another boy as near like EN-
NETT as possible he has adopted the
latter's brother, Hugh. Hugh has
been living at Hot Springs, n. c.,
where he has been working on a
farm. He arrived in Gaffney Friday
and was adopted Saturday. He is a
bright little fellow, possesses beauti-
full eyes and a beaming countenance,
and his manner Is at once striking
and pleasant. The Ledger Is glad
Cal has another boy and we know
that Hugh has a good home.
The surveying corps of the S. & w
railway company which has been
camped about mile from the city
passed through Friday following a
route from Rutherfordton, N. c., 70
Yorkville. The route was by the old
overhead bridge and passed a short
distance from the Irene mill and
right at the residence Of Col. Sam
Jefreries. Col Jefferies informed a
Ledger man that the men passed
through his garden and excellent po-
70
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07
j. s. LKERSON & co.
HICKORY 8. @.
iGeneral Merchandise

~ UR Stock Of General Merchandise
" is large, varied and well selected.
We are able to supply almost any.
thing in the best qualities and at the
RIGHT PRICES.
9 MACHINERY.
4 We handle goods Of the Interna-
tional Harvester Co., including Gaso-
line Engines, Hay Balers, Harvesters.
McC Cormick Reapers, Rakes, Harrows,
and sell everything at Right Prices.
II, BUGGIES AND WAGONS.
Anything that may be desired in
Buggies and Wagons can be had from
Eus. II 1t does not happen to be on
hand II CAN BE HAD without DIFF
flculty. But we are carrying large
stock in this line.
!: j. S. WILKERSON 8 CO..
Hickory, 8. @.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07
GASTON.

Gastonia Gazette, September 4: Mr..
George r. Hoke is at home from
Alaska. He arrived in Charlotte the
18th of August, having been on the
journey thirty-one days. Mr.. Hoke
is now visiting his brother and sisters
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07
LANCASTER.

New0, September s: DR.. and Mrs. j.
B. Allison of Yorkville; Mrs. Sarah
C. Davies of Blacksburg; Mrs. R. M
Allison and daughter, Miss Sallie, OF
Hickory Grove; Mr.. r. T. Allison OF
Yorkville; Mr.. ]. c.. Chambers and
Miss NJ. I. Chambers Of York, at
tended the funeral in Lancaster Sun
day of their kinsman Col R. E. Alli-
son. They were the guests Of the
family of the deceased while here,
DR.. S. A. Weber of Yorkville, also
attended the funeral Of his old friend.
The alarming frequency with
which white women are being as
saulted by black brutes is causing
thoughtful citizens to turn their at
tention toward devising some prac-
tical plan or plans Of protection of
our women of the country who are
exposed to such attacks. The rural
police idea, being generally agitated,
was commented on in our last issue.
Another plan which Is meeting with
favor is to teach women how to use
firearms. And in this connection a
good suggestion is made by our es-
teemed fellow townsman Capt. Saml
E. White. In the opinion of Capt.
White the art of handling and using
fire arms should be taught in Win
throp and other female colleges,
1ybioh on,,ld ha aoSflu dOna without
interference with the regular course
of studies The idea is emphatically
worthy of consideration.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-09-07

TO BE CONTINUED.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-01-19
II, Orchard Examined.

The preliminary examination of Har-
~ Orchard, charged with the assassi-
nation of Ex-Governor Steunenberg,
December 80, was held Saturday be-
fore Probate Judge Church at Cald-
WELL
Attorney Miller, for the defense, in
sisted that the rule be enforced pro-
hibiting the public and witnesses from
being present, but finally consented to
newspaper correspondents reporting
the trial.
The state introduced II witnesses
connecting Orchard with the crime. All
the evidence was circumstantial.
Orchard was committed to Jail with.
out bail.
Oficers believe that Orchard is not
the name Of the defendant.
Governor Gooding arranged with the
Pinkerton detective agency to proceed
with the investigation but not to in
terfere with the work of the Thiels,
represented by Captain Swain.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-01-19
Economy
Is a strong point with
Hoods Sarsaparilla. A
bottle lasts longer and does
more good than any other.
Il is the only medicine OF
which can truly be said Q
1o0DOSES ONE DOLLAR
Feeling Against American Exclusion Il
Very Bitter.
CHINESE ARE AWAKENING.

Feeling Against American Exclusion Is
Very Bitter.
Oskland. Cal.-The Rev. Arthur
Smith q missionary in China. who has
inst returned on the Siberia, is visit
ing friends In tbs city. The mission.
airy says:
THE strong antiforeien feeling in
China is due In large part to the de-
feat Of Russia by Japan. The Chinese
are awakening to the fact that they
are not a subject people. The feeling
AGAINST the United States is very Bit
ter because of the exclusion act. This
feeling is heightened by imaginary
wrongs and exaggerated descriptions
of indignities heaped upon Chinese in
this country, as sent home by the Chi
nese in the United States. But Chi
ma. as a whole, has come to the belief
that it is easier and cheaper to carry
on a negative war against the United
States than to attack missions and kill
missionaries. The country has learned
that where there is no violence there
is no punishment to follow. This feel
ing is confined to the coast cities, how
ever. and l do not believe that it
would be safe for an American to ven
ture into the interior provinces.
what the NOR II elligent want is
Nh. ox,,,.-.scn trea Ii shall he in
ta,,;.eently amended, am shall, be en-
rorced cry ...,. those classes it
\ r1A6eart to anect."
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-01-19

Mr. w. S. Harwood, who wrote the
recently published articles on Luther
Burbank in the Century, has written
for the same magazine the story of
how CALIFORNIA; crops are saved
largely by the work of the United
States Department OF Agriculture. Mr..
Harwood will narrate how science has
succeeded in exterminating insect
pests that had we'll nigh ruined the
chief crops of California.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-01-19

They do not waste any precious fluid Of
the Bowels, as Cathartics do.
They do not relax the lntestines by
greasing them inside like Castor Oil or
Clycerine.
They simply stimulate the Bowel
Muscles to do their work naturally, COM
fortably, and nutritiously.
And, the Exercise these Bowel Muscles
are thus forced to take, makes them
stronger for the future, just as Exercise
makes your arm stronger.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-01-19
How to Exercise the
Bowels

Your Intestines are lined inside with
millions of little suckers, that draw the
Nutrition out of food as it passes them.
But, if the food passes too slowly. it
decays before it gets through. Then the
little suckers draw Poison from it instead
of Nutrition.
This Poison makes Gas that Injuries
your system more than the food should
have nourished it.
You see, the food is Neurishment or
Poison, just according to how long it stays
in transit
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-01-19

Congressman Henry of Texas recalls
that when he took his seat in congress
in 1896 that state had only 13 repre-
sentatives in Washington. The census
Of 1900 gave it three more, and Mr..
Henry predicts that the census of 1910
will add four more. making a total OF
20. which would mean a population for
the Lone Star state OF about $500 600
people
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-01-19
ABE HUMMEL GIVEN APPEAL

Noted New York Lawyer Is Out on
Bail.
X Justice Woodward of the appellate
division of the supreme court in Brook
Ign has granted a certificate of rea-
sonable doubt in the case of Abraham
Hummel, the lawyer convicted Of con-
spiracy in the Dodge-Morse case. This
means that the case will go to the
appellate division on appeal.
Mr.. Hummel is now at liberty un-
der $4,000 bail.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-01-19

The Race Question
is problem that has puzzled the pro-
foundest minds for many years. The
best thing for the human race to do is
to eat Pillsbury's Vitos for breakfast.