davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

"On the hrst day of heavy lighting
st stone River" says an old soldier
story teller in the Chicago Inter-Oce
cone of cur men. who is now q. preach
ar out in Kansas, was slightly wound
ed, and. while in a dazed condition, he
was taken possession OF by q wandering
reb. The latter double duiohed his
dazed prisoner across the field to his
own elaHon. ana INDUCED in a good
many uncomplimentary remarks. The
rapid motion. however, cleared the
prisoners mind, and, pretending to be
ia great fear OF the bayonet behind
him. he Increased his speed This was
agreeable to the rebel. who eXper-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20
Astonished.

A Chicago business man who last
year made a trip to the Philippines
brought back with him a Filipino youth.
whose mental aIertness had made quite
an impression upon him. The Oriental
was installed in the Chicago mans
office as a clerk, and he did very we'll
Notwithstanding the fact that he was
a trif1e shaIxy as to his English.
One day the Chicagoan handed the
Filipino a bill for some goods purchased
by a customer a long time previously.
GAS this gentleman seems to have no
intention Of settling this account. said
the business man, 81 " ant you to type
write a letter to him, stating that an
immediate adjustment Of the Indebted
ness will soon be expected"
In a few moments the Filipino laid
before his employed the following eff
fort:
nm. Dear Sir-This is to advise you
that if you do not instanter send US
the money you owe US, we shall be com
PEELED to take measures tEat VIII cause
you the utmost establishment. '-Har-
per's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Here is more danger to prohibitions:
a New Jersey man declares that he is
going to feed his hens milk, sugar and
alcohol-producing food. ard eventually
get eggs whose shells will inclose egg
nog. How viii we ever stop the sale of
eggs like thoseg
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20
a MODEL WASHINGTON.

A vigorous movement has been start
ed for a model Washington" by the
organizations interested in the improve
ment of American cities in general
They argue that Washington should be
improved on the lines indicated by
President Roosevelt. and then it would
be easier to deal with the evils Of other
cities, slums. tenerents and the like
There il force IN the argument, and ev-
cry member OF congress should give
the subject earnest attention.-Pitts-
burg Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

In view Of Judge HamiIton's close
association with the New York legis-
Iature heretofore. he ran no very great
risk OF severe investigation in coming
back TO America. Still, a lot Of legis-
lators around Albany would doubtless
feel safer il he had stayed across the
water.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

A conference will be held at New
Orleans April 5, and to inaugurate
g. movement to increase the trade be
tween the Mississippi valley and the
Lafln-Amerioan countries. 1t is ex-
pected that upwards Of two thousand
delegates viii attend from the BEissis-
sippi valley states.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

The father Of a large family IN Gil
bertville took his fourteenth child to the
church to be chrfstened. On entering
the church and while preparations were
being made, the priest asked him by
ba- name he would like to call he
The father said he had forgotten the
name the family had chosen, so the
priest mentioned several, which were
not the right ones. At last the father
agreed to call it Michael. so when the
ceremony was finished and the people
we're leaving he turned to the priest
and said: Z don't know what my wife
Will say, for we have a. Michael at home,
and this Is a girl. Boston Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20
THE POOR CONCREsSMEN

It is going to be a little tough on con
gressmen to be compelled to pay their
own railroad fare, and, in addition, be
deprived of the privilege of sending
their furniture home through the mail
under franks.-Washingt Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20
ROAfANoE.

To sum it all, in book or song,
There IS one ending OF romance
" mar boots the signing deep and long.
What boots the yearning. soulful glance,
The speeches sizzin,
The words that burnt
For she is his'n
and he is hern.
The chapters writ of feast or ball.
OF battles or of daring deeds
OF auto rides, or walks-they all
Are waste. Between the lines one reads.
The eyes go whizzin'
Ahead TO learn
If she is his'n
And he is her'n.
The cavalier who twangs a tune
Upon MS resonant guitar,
The maid who gazes at the moon
And dreams OF one who bides afar.
Knows that ali prison
Locks will turn
When she is hisn
And he is her'n.
No odds wherever they may be-
In cities rent with changing noise
Or drifting on a purpled sea
Win sunsets adding to their joys;
Gems to bedizen,
Or wealth to spurn,
If she IS his'n
And he is her'n.
All this is naught; his high degree,
Her noble birth or queenly face;
The interest of you and me
IS N the ending of the race.
It is our busin-
Ess to learn
That she is his n
And he is her'n.
w. u. N. in Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY

Bride-Are you sure you love me as
much as ever2
Bridegroom-Per
Bride-And you will never, never love
anyone else?
Bride-And there isn't anything you
wouldn't do to make me happyf
Bridegroom-Not hing. That Isl Of course,
within the bounds of reason.
Bride-Humph! thought So I can see
that you ars getting tired Of me You've
begun to reason--LOndon Tit-Bits-
such young men often wonder why you
are so bald.
snapperton-If you'll promise not to say
anything about it III ten you
Barber-Oh, L won't say word
Snapperton CWhispering)-Our hair fell
out.-Ex.
Papa" said Willie. looking up from his
book. what Is a linear foot"
his father. ''why-er-ft,s one that's he
red1tary, Of course Didn't you ever hear
tell OF liner descendant? ''-CathoIic
Standard and Times.
Il assured her could support her IN
the .e, style she was accustomed TO"
she said she was looking for something
better than that. Minneapolis Tribune.
yes. I sent my uncle telegram We'd
nesday TO- say I was coming wonder il
received 1r.
II reckon he didn't. COS 7 seen him
this nornin' an he didn't brag about no
telegram Brooklyn Life.
THAT waiter said the first patron. is
either Ounce or humorist.
What's the matter?' asked the other.
7 ordered extract of beef and he
brought me milk. Eek.
Gothamine-New York is the pulse OF
Beaneater-Nfaybe that IS why it has
50 many beats--Baltimore American.
First Artist-''But you love art for its
Second .Artist--why. yes; I'm coming to
the conclusion that that's all there is in
it.-Brooklyn Life.
"obviously." said the lecturer. what
we need is a more elastic currency. for
the reason
mot ne interrupted the shabby man
in the. front row What need is more
Whereat there was loud applause.
It appeared there were others.-Chicago
Tribune.
''she lives in Pittsburg
fsteei. First preferred Philadelphia
Bulletin.
Miss Passey--A fortune teller has told
me where 7 should ind my future hus-
Mrs situplate-Goodnessi Give me her
address at once Perhaps she could tell
me where my present one is--Judge.
Knicker-So Jones holds two hero med
ais; what was the second one for2
Bocker-Accepting the first--New York
Sun.
"Ah. bon jour. monsieur
"Oh, talk English-it's too cold for
French today I want to keep my hands
in my pockets. w oman's Home Com
paniOn.
Naud-When Charlie proposed he was
so awkward about it. His tongue seemed
to get all tied up.
E6hel-In beau knot, I suppose.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
AutornobiIist-I suppose this bill for try
ing the machine Is all right, but what does
this item of As hours overtime meang
Repairmau--Ihat was the time 1 was IN
iail-YV oInan's Home Companion.
Nell permitted him to kiss me on con
dition that he would not mention II TO
Belle-And did he7
Nell-VVef I-er-he repeated it the very
next minute.-P Philadelphia Ledger.
How did you come out on the donation
party your congregation were arranging
to give your"
" Way ahead
..Yes sha fhs sS' decided not to give IT,
Houston Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Kansas City is now thinking Of get
ting President Roosevelt to lay the
corner stone Of It's new 7. NJ c. A.
building. Now we viii see if Kansas
city can do as wen in that respect as
rroneIxa did
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

There is great shortage in farm
hands in Indiana. why isn't some
plan devised to utilize on the farms
some Of the energy that is going to
waste in writing historical novels.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

It is alleged that a Missouri woman
was stung by a queer worm, and as a
result she became gifted with the
power Of prophecy. Why doesn't the
government propagate that species OF
worm and turn it loose in the weather
.-.-----.-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Indiana had fewer marriages and a.
vorces last year than in any previous
year. The literary activities of the
state must have been exceptionally
strenuous. and there was no time for
anything else.-Chicago Record Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

In commenting on a late speech Of
Judge Parker, whom you may per
naps recall if you think hard enough
the Chicago Record-HeraId says the
Judge gives no indication that he in
tends TO run again. But he didn't run
the other time either-he only walked.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

How are the mighty fallen! J. W.
Creech. one Of the leaders in the house
in the last legislature, and who came
almost being a candidate for governor,
must fight for a denomination to the
IaaieIafrrra
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

The late Hon. lilly Haines of Boston
told this story Of the first Haines, who
came to America in 1870;
Upon ieaving England, his father,
having heard Of the wonderful richness
Of the soil in this country. charged
walter to travel before settling. until
he could find "the grass tall enough to
tie over the horses back" He visited
in WATERFOWL. and riding westerly,
passed through the Sudbury marshes.
whore his horse sank so deep in the
mud that he wBs enabled to tie the
grass over the horses back thus fixing
the home of the Haines family in the
town of Sudbuly.-Ex
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Nature didn't treat the Irish right
last Saturday. Instead Of wearing the
green she spread a mantle Of white all
over the country.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

1t is announced that 1 100 policemen
are to be added to the force in Chicago.
But wouldn't it be better to decrease
the cause of crime2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Uncle Joe Cannon has purchased a
pair Of No. boots since the insurgents
have become busy again Now what
do you suppose he intends to do with
fharn2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20
NOR IN BREAD-MAKTNG.

If the new woman knows more than
her mother. it is certainly not in the
pie-building line--LouisvilIe Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20
THE CHICAGO PROBLEM.

The best thing We can do with our
ordinary problems at present is to put
every one Of them aside. SO that We
may give our entire attention to the
extraordinary problem whether or not
we are going to rule the thugs or the
thugs are going to rule us.-Chicago
Inter Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

A gift-beaTing Greek is properly fear
ed. but not nearly so much as an
amendment-br bringing senator.-Chicago
Record Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20
30 Doe.

The telegraph operator, Selling a
favorable lull said:
I'm my business a man has strange
experiences. It was only yesterday
that 1 sent a message to a White Noun
tain hotel: Hold room for self and
wife. Ten days The answer came
back at once: We don't take dogs
And the couple that wanted to go to
the hotel were Mortified. Later the
explanation came. Ny message, it
seems. had been incorrectly transmit
ted. as. Hold room for self and wife.
Ten dogs Exchange.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

1T is claimed that "the Standards
spirit is broken" Probably like the
backbone Of winter was a month or SO
ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Ny dear sir said the wife mildly 81
need a little elastic currency this morn
ing"
His puzzled look having sufficiently
amused her, she explained that she want
ed to buy some garters.
Very sorry he replied, but all my
elastic currency went up for susDenders
yesterday. New York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

The Oklahoma peach is reported
safe, even il there is some doubt about
the Kansas article.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

It appears as though it is as dideult
60 regulate railway wrecks as to regu-
late railway rates.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

But if Taft takes job on the SUI
breme bench, who will dig the canal?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20
gULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

Wei. the wheat is saved again, any
way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

A ROckery for a Wild Flower Garden.
In the garden where flowers and fol-
iage plants gathered from the woods
and fields are grown, natural conditions
should be initiated as nearly as possible.
Most of the earliest wild flowers prefer
some shade. There is no better way of
providing this than by planting them in
a rockery. It can be built of a few
loads Of weather-stained stones, ar
ranged in mound, leaving recesses Of
varying sizes for pockets in which to
put soil and plants.
AS in bed, the soil for the plants
should be thoroughly enriched with we'll
rotted manure or some commercial fer
tilizer- The flowers should be carefully
Watered until they arc well established.
The rockery may be made beautiful
with a score OF plant and ferns that
grow in the woods throughout the coun-
try, even near the largest cities, only
awaiting someone who cares enough to
dig them up.
The eolumbines. liverworts, saxi-
fragas, ladyslippers, anemones or wind
flowers, gentians, mayapples, violets
and many hardy ferns, including the
beautiful maiden hair, are widely dis
tributed. Spring flowers which do well
in the sun are bluebells, buttercups and
spring beauties. Before the spring
flowers have ceased to bloom the sum-
t0er WIG MOWERS are DeElnHAHB. Inc
wild rose blooms in May and June and Is
followed by the ox-eye daisy and but
terhy milkweed Then comes a host
of snowy field flowers which continue
to bloom until severe frost of late Oc-
tober and November. They include the
goldenrod, of which they are several
species, all yellow, ranging from 2 to
feet high; asters, ranging from little
flowers half an inch across to the New
England aster, 4 to 6 feet tall with flow
ers an inch across, evening primrose,
dragon head lily. cardinal flowers, false
indigo, and dozens of others.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20
KANSAS C0MMENT
WEIGHINc THE MAILS.

4
Are you surprised at an unusual
amount of circulars and worthless
literature you are receiving me
government is Weighing the mails this
month, in order to establish basis
for compensation Of the roads Tor
hauling the mail. The roads are using
every possible means to pad the mails,
uiar annual occurrence is the so-caIled
postal deficit" Somehow the de-
partment does not pay its expenses,
though its rates are high enough TO
make the government a clear profit
The reason is a simple one: It costs
more than four times as much to haul
a hundred pounds of mail from Wtch-
tia to Kingman as it does to haul a
hundred pounds of express, and the
express companies are robbers GOD
knows. The government furnishes
men to handle the mail and the roads
are not put to one iota of trouble
about it. Yet it pays the roads four
would have to pay an express com
pany. No wonder there's a deficit,
when such a graft is practiced. A few
years ago there was case before the
commission to be investigated. and
one station agent made oath that he
had mailed a certain piece of old iron
back and forth between his station
and the terminus thirteen times, In
order to make the mails weigh up. A
big batch Of old circulars and worth
less pamphlets had been handled in
the same way, making the rounds all
month in order to keep the weights
up to good figure. a little more in
Vestigation won't hurt this depart
ment and when it is done the people
will know just where the enormous
sums swallowed up in the annual de
ncits' are going.-Kingman Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20
SOME REMARKS.

In state matters the railroads have
been the loyal allies of the Burton set
of grafters, and the rank and file OF
the party must not longer allow the
railroads and that following to con-
troll the state politics. In this contest
the rank and file voters must not I'M
derestimate the power Of their op-
ponents. BY their Ubiquitous pass sys-
tenn men are oftentimes bribed into
silence and other men stimulated into
working overtime to divide the people
and thus accomplish their defeat.
Every voter we have had a chance to
talk with is of one mind upon this
question and all that is necessary for
success is to give them chance to
honestly express their desires and the
end Will not be in doubt.-Hil1 City
Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Knicker-So Jones holds two hero med
ais; what was the second one for2
Bocker-Accepting the hrst--New York
Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

First Artist-"But you love art for its
own sake2
Second Artist-Vhy, yes; Tn coming to
the conclusion that that's all there is in
it.-Brooklyn Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

tShe lives in Pittsburg"
What sort OF stock does she come OFF,
''Stsei. First preferred p iiadelphia
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Gothamine-New York is the pulse OF
the country.
Beaneater-Ndaybe that IS why it has
so many beats--Baltimor American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

"Ah bon jour. monsieur"
"Oh, talk English-it's too cold for
French today. I want to keep my hands
in my pockets. w oman's Home Com
paniOn.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

THAT waiter" said the first patron, sds
either a Ounce or a humorist'
WHAT'S the matter?" asked the other.
I ordered extract of beef and he
brought me milk.'-Ex.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Miss Passey--A fortune teller has told
me where 7 should find my future hus-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Maud-When Charlie proposed he was
so awkward about it. His tongue seemed
to get all tied up.
Ethel-In a beau knot, I suppose.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

obviously" said the lecturer, what
we need is a more elastic currency, for
the reason
Not me-" interrupted the shabby man
in the front row What I need is a more
adhesive currency
Whereat there was loud applause.
It appeared there were others.-Chicago
Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

YES. I sent my uncle a telegram We'd
nesday to say 7 was coming. / wonder II
he received it -
Il reckon he didn't. COS seen him
this mornin an he didn't brag about no
telegram. Brooklyn Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Mrs. Situplate-Goodness Give me her
address at once Perhaps she could tell
me where my present one is--Judge-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Il assured her I could support her IN
the style she was accustomed to-.
''Weu2''
She said she was looking for something
better than that ''-ATinneapol Tribune
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Autonobilist-I suppose this bill for try
ing the machine is all right, but what does
this item of As hours overtime uean2f
Repairrnau-That was tine time I was in
iail.-W oman's Home Companion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-20

Papa" said Willie, looking up from his
book, what Is a linear foot
'Why-er-a linear foot, Etamu1erSd
his father. ''why-er-ft's one that's he
reditary, Of course Didn't you ever hear
tell OF liner descendant? ''-Cathonc
Standard and Times.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1906-02-23
MINNESOTA BUTTER LEADS.
Awarded First Prize in Contest a
CHICAGO.

Chicago, Feb. 23-The National
Creamery Buttermakers' association
butter judging contest resulted in the
awarding Of first prize to the state OF
Minnesota, whose combined points
numbered IFS, as against l4T for Wis
consin, its nearest competitor. Iowa
was third In the contest, Michigan
fourth and Illinois fifth, with 50 points,
Twenty-Five states took part in the
competition.
Gold medals were awarded to A,
Carlson, Rush City, Mimi, for excel
lence of butter exhibited and silver
cups to S. j. Simonson, Milton, Wis. =;
w. II. Bechtel, Caro-, Mich; Louis Mel
son, Camp Point, Ia, and f. L. Cdell,
Greenfield, la.
The highest average, the highest
score and the second highest score Is
what the Minnesota buttermakers cap
tured. This means that the Bread
and Butter state has made practically
clean sweep Of everything offered in
the way of prizes for good butter.