The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-17
WISE GUY GIVES
OUT SOME HISTORY
He UnIoads Upon the Historian
Inside Workings of County
Attorneys Office.
WHY PARLEY P. WANTS
TO BREAK INTO CONGRESS
There Is Goodness Existing Be-
tween the Chief and His
Assistant, Hansen.

"Say, you, said the Wise Guy, as
he beckoned the historian into Plum
alley, 'you needn It 90 and poke this
into the paper. IN just tellin' you
cause like you. They's a little cold
ness at present between Willard and
Farley P. It's on account o that
blamed Jones case the papers are doin
all this Unnecessary hollcrln' about.
and give Willard an his man Friday
a chanst for their white allcysf You
certainly know that Farley P, has got
TO break into Congress, some way er
other, or it g all off with him; an if
Willard can't grab that County Attor
ney's job, why, what t ell is this bloom,
in county goin' TO do for high-class
talent in that all-important office?
"Parley P. Sets About a-Figgerin'
FThe coldnessl Yes, IN comm to
that. You see, when the case was
forced onto the County Attorneys Of
fee, by you fellers an the public gen
orally a-lettin out them roars about
speedy trials an prompt justice an all
the rest o that kind o rot, why, Par
ley p. sets about a-fggerin who he was
approaches Willard first, but that trained
diplomat simply handed Farley one
o. them julius Caesar frowns o hissen
and told him to look elsewhere Par
ley then tried Joe Lyon, but Joe said
HIM nay, on the ground that he was
sufferin' with an acute attack of frap-
ped feet, Back goes Farley p to Will
lard, prostrates himself at the feet of
the sphynx and begs to be pulled out
up his loins and waited the pleading
Farley from his presence. Shah I, who
am busy with my political fences, turn
aside TO mix and mingle with this ugly
thing2p said he. Nit, Not, Neither,
NO! If you want the Jones case tried
go try it yourself
An that the reason" continued
the Wise Guy, "that poor ole Parlev
P. has been goin' around town Tor
about two months with his hand to his
brow, .wonderin whether, after all, life
is really worth ivin',
wipe the Thing Out
"Last week Willard backs poor ole
Farley up in dark corner an, saws
he; Farley, ole man, I've been observ-
in you Of late. You re not we'll. You
Congress dope up than Belgian hare
has till you get the Jones case off
what's left of your mind Now. you
take my tip an go ahead an finish
the thing up. 1t may grippe little, but
TIL soon be over. Whatever you do,
do 1T in a hurry. Wipe the thing out.
Get rid of it. OF course the press and
the public will take a few more falls
out of you, but, holy Moses, you re
used to that, and one more dose ought
not hurt you: Speed s the word, Par
ley, speed s the word, but the most i'm
portant thing of all id, don t mix me in
it. Keep that point always uppermost
IN your mind. Stand on your own bot
tom and don t mention me at any stage
of the proceedings. Go to it now and
remember that God sees all you do.
Now, don It crack it off, concluded
the Wise Guy, "that put you next TO
this inside Office dope, for me and VII.
lard is bosum friends, and 1 expect a
sinnycure. when he lands that County
Attorneys job, You perfect me and
! ii hand you some bedrock stuff, once
IN while, that these other mud hens
can t get within block OFF,