The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-06-24


from torpedo riding and house top walk
ing to mystical. revelations, startling ex-
cavations and phenomenal Biblical facts
recently brought to light" The National
museum was the place supposed by the
editors" to hold things of that sort, so
thither I fleyy
II must have it--any old mummy will
do" 1 explained to the learned and hor-
rified gentlemen.
But 1T is inpossible-it is preposterous
lit is,-"
Mover mind I've got to have it
'yVell" said one with a twinkle In his
eye, I'VE can get you a photograph of
Aoel and his tomb from out of one of
those buried cities In Yucatan, but Cain
no, I don't believe any one of us knows
exactly what became of Cain"
l telegraphed back to my friend, the
Sunday editor: VIII Abel do?"
No. came the answer, 'he was too
good. Want CAIN
oh dear!" | showed the telegram to
the professors Isn't there some way
you can change Abel into Cain?' asked.
We never propagate false statements
there Is a Judgment awaiting. But tue
librarian was gathering up the Abel
books. Discoveries in Yucatan, story
of Queen Moo or Eve, by some hair
cracked Frenchman, and all of his mar
wells unearthed in the forest city OF CHI
chen-Itza
serhere YOU are" he said, turning deftly
To a picture of Abel's tomb and ABEL atop
of it. / read and learned that Nucatan
snstead of Asia was the cradle of the
human race; here was the garden. the
serpent. the apple, the Adam and Eve
of the Bible; here did Cain Kill MS loving
brother and then stepping nimbly over TO
Atlantis thence escaped TO parts I'M
known, afterwards submerged. In ten
minutes / learned all this, grew wise In
the Interpretation of the Maya hero
glyphics described the palace belonging
to Eve and the quarrel between the God
like sons Then did I gather together
the ashes of Abel, his sword and his
crown, and by that natural process
known only to those supernatural beings
who write for New York yellow papers,
transform them every one into Cain
with a thrilling tale of how he got EN-,
the wicked things he did. and the dlrefui
death he died. I did have the conscience
to confess in small letters at the tail end
of nv manuscript that it was "all lies,
-
let 1t pass That was the only part he
struck off, however, and telegraphed
hack. ',rhe more the better Rebuild
Noah's Ark See Naval Constructor
Hichborn, scientists at Smithsonian and
Catholic university biologists weather
bureau Get views of deluge and ark
story
All this when I wanted to run steam
engines and electric cars and ride buffalo
Bill broncoes down the avenue, and here
they were giving me these pious things
instead I oonfded to my conservative
washington Post editor who was always
advising me to steer clear of yellow jour
nalism and wait till I cut my eye teeth
and lost illusions" But he only said
IT told you So"
walked YEARLY back to the Journals
Washington bureau. 1t is brown walled
ROOM sliced in three parts, over a neck
tie store. 1t was always ringing with
the nervous ting-a-ling of the phone, ana
was slashed up with yellow desks ana
scrubby newspapers. not Htte glass
case holding two black browed cobblers
whose leather strips smelt up the foot
of the black brass-tapped stairs, all
catchy and slivered at the edges. stood
off to one side of the sign of the Journal.
Before I had ever turned in stories there
7 had dreamed of its palatial aspect and
the brainy and exciting atmosphere IL
was not long before / learned that ex-
cepting Mr.. Brown, the head only
small fry worked here-and that small
fry extended over the greater portion or
Washington.
whats the matter with Noah's Ark
cried Mr.. Brown "Why, that's first
rate subject. Read your Bible hrst. Get
the Biblical account so fixed that nobody
can stump you on it. Then tackle the
navy department, get General Hichborn's
notions of the adaptability of the ark and
his own conception of its strength and
formation. See Mr.. Willis Moore at the
weather bureau-find out from him the
various causes which could have led to
a universal deluge and the state OF the
weather at Noah's time. Interview POW
ell and Magee about geological eHects,
RIM out to the Catholic university and
get written statements from the eastern
scholars out there as to what they be-
leve and don't believe about the ark
You can probably get hold of pictures
of the ark out there. Go to Georgetown
college and Columbian university and
gather any flood investigations they may
have made there; turn the Congressional
library upside down for evidence IN favor
of the existence of the ark; look over
that deluge tablet at the National mu-
scum. and bring all the facts they have
at the Smithsonian with twelve big Illus
trations taken from authentic sources.
rs that all?"
"All I can think of for the moment.
Bring that within a week or two and
IL give you the rest" It was the longest
sneech the head ever made to me.
When I caught my breath Immediately
went for the Bible and studied 1t. | also
read Prospice to summon up my courage.
7 fully recognized the absolute necessity
Of being abnormally tragic about the
whole business If I wanted any facts
az all The first attack was the hardest.
II was in the office of the chief naval
constructor. and at length he summoned
NO He fell back in his chair as though
he were shot
"Wbv I-a-"he gasped. BLESS me if
I've heard of the ark since l was four
vears old. What-a-what is it / am to
dor
| repeated earnestly.
nyVell. give me a little time about it, |
I'll have to read the Bible
"Oh, you mustn't do that, cried mas
tiIv. IT can do that. l want your own |
views"
But never had any!
.It ia necessary to get some then. /
wanted them today. When will you have
them written?"
"Day after tomorrow perhaps True
to his word the constructor did get sew
eral pages of views" Not, however, I'M |
til the whole navy department was upset |
determining the actual length OF the |
Hebrew cubit and getting the ark down |
in English feet
At the weather bureau the weather man
- +; oil xxrifh W