New-York tribune., 1906-04-16
PARADERS IN DRIZZLE
DOFF HITS TO SHOWERS.
Soggy Easter Discowages Pittsburg
Critic scith Mack Rake

,.,rreen 2 fzzle and drizzle. Had the briIlian,
IDS Of fashion who ordinarily constitute the
,,ashone OF the spring pageant been ducks !,
I'D have been a striking success As II was
-. .ba hour when the great promenade is usually
,scked from side TO side with the seers and the
- II was forlorn. damp and deserted of ne
dsstrians.
T. all came as great shock to New Workers.
,.- they had been led TO expect something ouita
.,.sren1. They read in the evening papers ,ba
sev before that I'm the opinion OF the weather
sbsrps at washington Eastern New Yorks
a,tber would be showers and cooler. with
,u N high southwest TO northwest winds ..
consequently. they prepared their finest array.
o,nssenf Of he balmiest of Easter SUNDAYS.
Result: another black eye for the Weather
Bureau.
II poured almost steadily from 4 81 m. to 1
, m The church services. prepared at great
avrerse Of professional skill and floral taste.
usrs an held according TO schedule but there
,rsre empty seats that had always been full be-
eore on Easter.
EASTER HATS AT HOME.
:. vas consolation. OF course 70 remember
-ba. April showers bring forth May flowers, but
,bey didn't bring forth many new Easter hats
,,es;erday. for the uproar of elements was at its
,,orst Al the nour whan the streets should have
bssn fun Of .'worshippers'' on their way to
church. and the air still fuil of what the
ernsr.s call precipitation when the morning ser
,scss came 70 an end
Ia be sure she attendance at the afternoon
services was large. and Just before and after
,bose services the scenes on Fifth avenue were
-saliv something like hut though the wet
Manke+ had been withdrawn the earth still
s.eaued where IT had lain In short, it a
soggy Easter
Such Easter parade as there was. was entirely
me of vehicles The middle Of the avenue was
p-stty well choked with broughsms. hansoms
ooupes automobiles and every sort of closed
-shiele There was no getting 10 church in
Easter 7nery in any other way. And for
throngs whose custom it is to swarm TO this
avenue for purposes Of observation on Easter
# they didn't get there any other time in the
year they were simply not to be seen at all.
Probably the most disappointed in all
New York stood in the lobby of OF the big
hotels that front Fifth avenue. He was
staring gloomy out upon what should have
been scene radiant with millinery and dazzling
with sartorial elegance. There was nothing alive
IN sight but horses and coachmen. Pencils of
rain slanted vicously through the street and
stretched themselves blindingly down every win
dow pane a ruined umbrella or a crazy hat oc-
cssonaly zigzagged eustily across his field of
vision
RAIN WASHED HIS HOPES AWAY.
The disappointed man stared resentfully out
a the desolaticn before him. his nose almost
hftened reseEtfulIy on the glass of the door
.ae SHIRT broad slaouldered chap. witt.
heavy mane Of black hair. bushy eyebrows and
square jaw-oh, very square jaw.
debonnair young man emerging from late
Breakfast IN the dining room marked the sturdy
figure by the door and stopped There was
something familiar in those pugnacious should
ers The young man came closer and. after an
ether oorroborative look. exclaimed: Can it be
yes, it really is my old friend Lincoln Phillips
slspgoodm
The other turned. grudgingly grasped the out
stretched hand and remarked gloomily:
You are correct; it is indeed myself Mr..
Cheery''
CHEEKY Immediately dragged the protesting
slapgood into the cafe and ordered something.
Now" said he, what are you doing here?
thought you We're exposing something in the
West"
The great cxnoser frowned and shut his pierre
ing eyes
-Accuracy. accuracy my dear CHEEKY" he
ssio; "a little accuracy, if you please. I hurried
on from Western Pennsylvania. temporarily
nces on The Putridity of Pittsburg' in order
to be in New York for the Easter parade And
now he concluded ffercely. with a despondent
move of his heavy hand at the desolation in the
avenue. now look at it"
The volatile CHEEKY gave vent 70 peal of
laughter and slapped his leg
fou'-you here for the Easter parade. Slap
sooa. IN the name Of all the consistencies
what tor?"
Lincoln Phillips slapgood looked severely at
ms questioner. then srnote the table until the
gIassed jgged
WOULD EXPOSE EASTER PARADE.
Because" he roared. because I am going 10
expose il"
Expose the Easter parade?' gasped CHEEKY
fee5iy
1es sir. expose H." retorted SIapgood merci-
-ess'y- i sec no reason why should spare the
&s'er parade You know what I did in The
DAgust Of Dakota. You are familiar with the
sIeat events that flowed from my publication
u The Pusillanimity Of St Paul i need not
''H'iio you Of what happened after The Tergiv-
1Satons OF Texas came out. Need 1 speak to
~ Of NY 'Octagus Of Oklahoma or Of my
'"onography OF Pennsylvania? Surely you
Ave not forgotten the biting castigation ad-
mustered 10 the forces OF evil in my Hell IN
,1'ooken' and my Ills of Illinois?' VIII the
sa trust OF Boston ever get over the blows
save thein? VIII the Cancelled Stamp Combine
Vt forget Lincoln Phillips Slapgood. think
you?~
You sure hit 'er hard" admitted CHEEKY.
bur
but alas" resumed the great e1poser. gloom
W the game is pegging out. Scores OF cheap
-1'suons have sprung UP 10 reap where have
sOSh and it's use TO tell the magazine editors
arr s,-e xondf hey
!" Rave no powers OF discrimination. Result is
N'At there are now almost as many exposers as