Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1906-02-23

Law, SlSttf halnWatef, 40 Nell Wnat
on airth is the matter of ye? Has any
thing serus happened to VERY ye? I'm
skeert plum to death" exclaimed Mar
tina Bosley. breathlessly. as she and
Jim came painting into Mrs. Rainwa-
ter's yard.
: Law. Marthy. hit would look better
fer me to asst sich question OF you.
instid Of you astin OF me. fer from yer
looks, somethin shorely has excited
you-uns both. Now, DO tell what has
excited you n"g aslSel Mrs Rainwa
ter as she calmly surveyed her painting
visitors.
Law. sister l. R,nwater. Jim. he
looked out little while ago in the d.
rection OF your house. and he come
runnin back to the kitchen and seq he
'Nrarthy. git on yer bonnet plum qur k
and less go over to Rainwater's an see
what is the matter. / see Sister Rain
water jist a walkin backerds and for
ards on her front gallery a wavin of her
arms like somethin turrible has TUX
place. Mebbe somebody has kilt Mr..
Rainwater, seq he. as he grabbed his
hat and lit out, me a follerin of him as
quick as could git my head wropped
up. fer me a bein a suhiik OF them at
facts Of neuralgy, ] allus wrops up
my he'd plum good afore I goes out, so
here we come as hard as we cou'd
tear. and we could see We wuz riled up
about somethin from the way ye WIZ
a walkin the floor and wavin of yer
hands. but bless my life. ye do look as
cam as a COW cumber now. but what
was ye a walkin the floor fer?" said
Martha between grasps.
Law. II you-uns don't beat ali.
want a doin nary thing cept'n takin OF
my physical cutter exercise"
physical cutter exercises? Lawsy
massy what on airth Is that? You do
beat all to tackle new tangled idees
but do tell us what is physical cutter"
Land Goodness, Marthy, physical
cutter is q new idee by which fat wom-
en- makes their selves slim, and slim
women makes their selves fat. Now
them exercises you-uns seed me taxi
IN fist now, walking backards and for
ards on the porch and wavin my arms
above my head and drdwln deep
breaths. an all sich, them exercises is
took by me ever mornin, to induce my
abdomen. Ye see I'm a gittin sorter
too fattish like (fer beauty. and es-
pecially is my abdomen a Citing awful
prominent as John sez so I'm tryin to
induce my abdomen by physical cutter.
same as them fat women in Dallas an
Houston does. what is gittin too fat fer
good looks, and | reckin II keeps up
these here exercises like the book seq,
o. A
hours on my physical cutter fust thing
you know, I'll be as slim as any gal
and"
"Sister Rainwater don't talk so fast
fer I aint yit ketched yer meanin. Ye
say ye're tryin to induce WHAT" in
terruptel Martha at this juncture.
"Law. Marthy. ye snore air hard Of
understandin. Don't'ye see my Stun
mick Is gettin too big fer beauty an
I'm tryin to get 1t smaller by physical
culter?"
''ls wall1In the floor a wavin yer
arms above yer head like We air suf-
ferin to beat the band. goin to re-
duce the size Of yer stummick?" asked
Jim.
ITO be shore. that's what the book
sez. an arter l git myself plum slim
fist like o young gal. low 20 begin
them face messages. same as all big
sussiety women does, fer they do say
as how If you viii message yer face
for an hour afore We go to bed and fer
hours arter ye git up and keep yer
self CREASED longer cold cream and vas
seline and glycerine, an all sich. then
about 3 nights out OF every week tie
a raw beef steak to yer face and on
tother nights soak yer face In hot
buttermilk fer hours afore ye go ter
bed, then sleep in a dough face. We
shore will drive every wrinkle away"
said Mrs. Rainwater enthusiastically,
while Jim sarcastically mumbied some-
thing about 1t being "enough TO drive
a body's hull face away wrinkles an
ALL" and Martha clasped her hands In
ecstacy. saying;
u low to try thin remidies this very
night.
"Oh, hit shore will make ye pity II
ye keep them messages and pin 'sical
gutter exercises up long eneughi Pid
Mrs. Rainwater.
"Have ye ever seed any body what
wuz transformed by them fool antics?''
asked Jim.
''Naw, ! never seed nobody what
kept 1t up long enough, but the book
SEE hundreds OF folks has been made
both slim and fat by physical cutter
an ugly folks made purity and wrin-
kles KEEP away by face messages" de-
olared Mrs. Rainwater
"Wsll. hit looks to me II the fool
wosnen in the country what is tryin to
make theirselves different from what
the Good Lord made EN-. would put in
a. much time tryin to make their selves
good as they do tryin to change the
locks OF the shapes and mugs mater
..as wsV0 sn, vnar wouldn't De 80 mucr
time esF gadain and drsssin and show
In Off and msbbs thar wouldn't be 81
many dsvsrces and sich few children
Now, who In the Sam Hill wants Il
oOme hoaAs at night and find his wifi
In bed with q big hunk OF raw bee
steak tied on her face or a raw bis
QUIT. II q feller wants to sleep In I
bntohsr shop or a baker shop he XIII
Dc -, but I'd like to know what feile
wants 70 come home and find his oil