davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

Treasurer Bliss of the Republican
national committeesm have been ig-
norant when asked how much he re-
ceived from the insurance companies,
but Congressman Babcock will not
likely be so void Of knowledge.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

Congressman Babcock has been sum-
moned to New York to tell the world
as a Republican that Judge Parker was
right when he accused the Republicans
OF taking corporation funds for the
campaign treasury.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

Francis Murphy OF Los Angeles is
to be congratulated upon the nomina-
tion of his son, Col Robert S. Murphy.
as the Republican candidate for lieu
tenant governor of Pennsylvania.
There is only one Fly in the oint-
ment"-Pennsylvania went Democratic
at the last election and is quite likely
to do it again this year.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07
Where to Abide In Boston

Lovers should live on Court street.
The newly wed on JOY street.
Other married folks on Pleasant
street.
Though some of them live on Cross
street.
Preachers should live on Church
street.
Or on Temple or Revere street.
Soldiers on Garrison street.
Coquettes on Arch street.
Bachelors on Chambers street.
Policemen on Copp's HILL
Laundrymen on Troy street
Poets on Tennyson street.
Or on Lowell or Myrtle street.
Irishmen on Emerald street.
Spoony folks on Moon street.
The henpecked on Stilman street.
Laborers on Union street.
Bargain-counter tiends on Purchase
street
Red-hared girls on Auburn street.
Lawyers on Blackstone street.
Crazy folk on Asylum street.
And the chap who wrote all this on
Chestnut street. Boston Transcript,
First Bachelor-' Let's ask Lamb. He's
married and will be able to speak from
experience"
Second Bachelor-"on the contrary. he'll
keep his mouth shut from experience -
Meggendorfer Blaetter.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07
Pi-Lints and Plck-Ups
Get or the Earth

Go hitch your wagon to a starr
So said the man reputed wise,
To one who sought for help. That Is
The course for you that Id advise"
The seeker pondered long and we'll.
OF meanings found 1t had no dearth;
But in the end concluded he
Had but been told Get Off the
earth"
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07
Mary

Mary
Mary had a little lamb,
And when she saw it sicken,
She shipped it off to Packingtown,
And now it's labeled chicken.
Mary had a little calf,
And when it was near dead,
She sent it to cannery--
1t is corned beef instead.
Mary had a billy goat,
Twas very fond of buttin':
When packer got that goat,
1t very soon was mutton!
Mary had woolly dog,
She missed it one day-how
1t got away she never knew,
But 1t is sausage now.
(And so on, ad nauseam)
w. H. c.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

No, there is no connection between
the sausage expose and Link Stuffins,
though one might think so from the
name
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

The National Liquor Dealers at a
meeting in Louisville, come out for
temperance. Can you beat that COM
binatlon for the Unexpected?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

AS to one Mr.. Lockwood, who would
rather live in Portland than in Los
Angeles his right. But how
lonesome he is in his opinion!
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

With Missouri leading the demand
for Bryan, those upstarts who saw Folk
in the White House have another look
coming
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

The liquor dealers encoura cement of
temperance makes one give pause to
ponder on "why is liquor dealer?"
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07
Unwilling TO Get Il All

| wish to sell out my entire stock Of
millinery goods. Will sell at a very low
price. Reason for selling my husband
is in the Ice business and wishes me to
sell. For full particulars call on or
write Mrs. II. e. Arms, Redheld, s. D.
Rockham Is. d. Record.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

When even the liquor dealers advo-
cate temperance, isn't the white rib
bon millennium rather close at hand?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

The powder trust is next. Won't
there be a blowup when the fuse is
lighted under It?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

Really one buys ham nowadays not
knowing whether 1t is part of porker
or merely billy goats hind leg.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

There is no graft in baby food, says
an Indiana doctor. Certainly not, if it
isn't a bottle baby.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

Maybe the senate doesn't discard
Smoot because 1t fears there Is nothing
better In the draw.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

Chicago men were caught playing
poker in a refrigerator car. Great placs
for cold feet.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

The longest creased liar" seems to
have slipped a cog.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

1t is noted that Gov. Pardee never
acts till A. Ruef has told him what to
do
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

The beef trust seems to be cowed at
fast.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

1treally needed muck rake to un-
cover the beef trust scandal.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07
Clock That MAY Not ston

Before these frivolous fashion fads
are stopped we expect to see clock
stockings, with hands on them.-John-
son City (Tenn.) Comet
The Rev. DR.. Hills advises girls to
wear SMILE" Some peek-a boos
don't amount to much more.
DR.. Muck is to direct Boston's SYM
phony orchestra. With a rake?
Orange-Why do they call an army
meal mess?
Lemon-Ever eat an army meal?
Well
Great fare-up due. Match trust to be
struck next.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

Palm-Where'll you spend your vaca-
tion?
Pepper-At home; my wlfe's soins
east.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

It's the man who eats sausage that
gets the wurst of It just now.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

This packing house expose is ofal.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

The beef barons seem to be down on
their marrow bones at last.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

A New York woman is suing for
divorce because her husband throws
money at her. Women are so uncer-
tain; most of 'em sue because their
husbands don't.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07
Population of Los Angeles 23S,4l9

Summer "has came"
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

Denatured alcohol looks o. K. till we
learn which trust controls Il.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07
HOW MUCH MONEY SHOULD A MAN HAVE

North American Prints Startling Laws
and the Tendency Of Popular Thoueh-campsign
uated Tax Duties
FRONT YorkW Word
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-07

Jimmy Cfshingl--l amt gittin' a bite
Iommy-Maybe dey amt hungry.
Jimmy-But dat oughtnt 10 make %
much difference l kin gtnrally eat whed-
der I'm hungry or not.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10
Prayed For More Snakes.

In rural town in Michigan lived
a family named Beaver noted for
their hardihood in all manner of
naughtiness. They were the great
torment Of the minister's life. Fin
ally, one of the boys was bit by rat
tlesnake and sent for him. He found
the lad greatly scared and very PEN
ltent. After some consideration, the
reverend gentleman closed the inter-
view by prayer.
20 Lord, he began, I'VE thank
Thee for rattlesnakes. We thank
Thee that a rattlesnake has bit Jim.
Send another, we pray Thee, to bite
Tom, and one to bite Joe. And, o
Lord, send the biggest kind of rat
tlesnake to bite the old man; for
nothing less than rattlesnakes will
bring this Beaver family to repent
ance. metaphysical Magazine
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10
when He Ouailed.

An old soldier is mighty priyi-
legged person sometimes And no
where is this more clearly shown
than out at the Home Theatre. Out
there If an old boy doesn't like the
show he gets up and leaves. Not long
ago Richard ILL., was given at the
home to an audience of varied and
mingled emotions. One old man had
followed tho play breathlessly until
it came to Richards famous haunted
dream. AS the spectres began to file
out behind the bed the old man
leaned forward and gasped, Good
Lord, look at the ghosts" and grab
bling his cane in his hand he beat a
hasty retreat. He had stayed by
Richard through all of his wicked
ness, had Kissed him when he killed
his relatives by squads and lunches,
had gripped his chair hard to keep
from going down and laying him out
wnen he had ordered the murder of
the princes-but this last was too
much. When tho ghosts appeared
the man who had faced the cannons
turned and fed. ~ Leavenworth
Times.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10
awhat Shall / DO :"

That Is the problem which frequently
confronts everyone-especially parents
with small children. A slight illness
treated at once often saves long
period Of sickness and expense some
times prevents death. The trouble Is
that so few people can think on the In
slant what treatment to apply. even IL
they have the knowledge necessary to
recognize the disease and know what
simple remedies are best. To meet Z Ia
want at small expense the Book Pub
fishing House. 1874 Leonard street. New
York City, Is sending postpaid doctor
book on receipt of sixty cents In
clamps. The book Is illustrated, con-
tains sos pages, explains symptoms.
causes and simple means of overcoming
ordinary illnesses. 1t was written by
the eminent j. Hamilton Ayres. A. NJ,
NJ. d. 1t is a volume which should be
in every household. as no one can tell
what moment he may require the
knowledge 1t contains.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10

OF the essential qualities that belong
to the style. In the illustration it is
made of white linen and is banded
with blue and worn with blue silk
tie, but it is appropriate for all the
simpler washable fabrics and also
for the flannel and the serge that
are so desirable even during mid
summer when the outing is to be
taken by the seashore or in the
mountains. The sailor collar is al
ways becoming but is not obligatory
as the model can be made plain, fin
ished with yoke only, while again
the shield can be omitted if cooler
blouse is desired, and there is
choice allowed of elbow or full
length sleeves.
The blouse is made with a plain
back and full fronts, that are gath
cred and joined to smoothly fitted
yoke, and is fitted by means of
shoulder and under-arm seams.
When used the collar is Joined to the
neck and front edges. The shield
is entirely separate and closed at the
back while the blouse closes at the
front. The sleeves are simply full
and can be finished with the deep
cuffs or cut off below the elbows and
gathered into bands
The quantity of material required
for the medium size is four and
half yards twenty-one, four and
quarter yards twenty-seyen or two
and three-eighth yards forty-four
inches wide with one-half yard of silk
for the tie.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10

Turning crank is less fatiguing
than hammering. 1t is estimated that
the daily work developed by man
hammering is about 100000 foot
pounds, while in turning a crank he
develops 100000 foot pounds.
1t consequently follows that turn
ing crank with resistance well ball
Rnced with flywheel is a better way
of utilizing a mans strength than
by direct hammering. Machine drill
makers are now perfecting hand
drills for mining work The mistake
was formerly made of endeavoring to
produce hand machine drills to COM
pete with power drills. 1t was not
recognized that there was good
field for small light drills to utilize a
miners strenth to the fullest degree.
Engineering and Mining Journal.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10
a Discoverer Of Geninses.

Much surprise was expressed in
Germany when it was announced that
Michael Georg Conrad had just cele-
brated his sixtieth birthday. His
name as a critic and magazine writer
had SO persfstently been associated
with those of the latest lights in lit
erature, art and music, that few real
lied he would soon join the ranks of
the veterans. His magazine, Die Ge-
sellschaft, seemed to exist for the
sole purpose of discovering or cham
pioning strong individualities. He
was one of the most ardent defend
ers in Germany of lola; he broke
lances for Nietzsche, lbsen, Wagner,
Liliencron, Fake and many others
at a time when they were the under
dogs. His magazine has ceased to
exist; his constant swimming against
the stream did not prove profitable.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10

Every variation of the princesse
gown is greatly in vogue this season
and here is one that suits all the
soft, fashionable, crushable materi-
ais admirably we'll. AS illustrated it
is made of white chiffon and is
trimmed with bands of taffeta edged
with double frills of the material.
The design, however, will be found
charming for the silk voile that is SO
fashionable, for crepe de Chine.
crepe messaline, for many Of the
silks and cotton mixtures, and, i'm
deed, for everything that is soft
enough to shirr with success. When
a simpler gown is desired yoke and
cuffs of lace or other contrasting
material can be added.
The dress is made with a fitted lin
ing which extends to the waist line
and itself consists of front, side
fronts, backs and side backs, all Of
which are Joined and shirred on in
G6cated lines, the closing being made
invisibly at the back. The sleeves
are the favorite ones of the season
that are moderately full puffs and are
shirred at their lower edges. Trim
ming of any sort that may be liked
can be used on the skirt, little frills,
landings of lace or Of ribbon or of
some contrasting fabric, this last be-
ing a recent and well liked novelty.
The quantity Of material required
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10
llMy1MargretNs1kley

There are cases where an operation
is the only resource, but when one con-
siders the great number of cases OF
menacing female troubles cured by
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Conn
pound after physicians have advised
operations, no woman should submit to
one without first trying the Vegetable
Compound and writing Mrs. Pinkham,
Lynn, Mass, for advice, which is free.
Miss Margret Merkley, of 275 Third
Street, Milwaukee, Wis, writes:
Dear Mrs Pinkharn:
g Loss Of strength, extreme nervousness,
shooting pains through the pelvic organs,
bearing down pains and cramps compelled
me to seek medical advice. The doctor, after
making an examination, said had a female
trouble and liberation and advised an opera
ton. To this strongly objected and decided
to'try Lydia e Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound. The liberation quickly healed, all
the bad symptoms disappeared and am
once more strong, vigorous and well"
Female troubles are steadily on the
increase among women If the month
ly periods are very painful, or too FREE
quent and excessive-if you have pain
or swelling low down in the left side,
bearing-down pains, don't neglect your
self: try Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10
DOCTORS SHIFT
Now Gets Along without It.


A physician says: Until last fall /
used to eat meat for my breakfast
and suffered with indigestion until
the meat had passed from the stom-
ach
Last fall began the use OF
Grape-Nuts for breakfast and very
soon found / could do without meat,
for my body got all the nourishment
necessary from the Grape-Nuts, and
since then I have not had any indi-
gestion and am feeling better and
have increased in weight.
Since finding the benefit I derived
from Grape-Nuts / have prescribed
the food for all OF my patients suf-
fering from indigestion or oyer-feed-
ing and also for those recovering
from disease where want food
easy to take and certain to digest
and which will not oyertax the stom-
ach.
Il always find the results look
for whenI prescribe Grape-Nuts. For
ethical reasons please omit my
name. Name given by mail by Pos
tum Co., Battle Creek, Mich.
The reason for the wonderful
amount of nut1iment, and the easy
digestion Of Giape-Nuts is not hard
to find.
In the first place the starchy part
of the wheat and barley goes through
various processes of cooking to per,
fectly change the starch into Dexs
trose or Post Sugar. in which state ii
1t ready to be easily absorbed by the
blood. The parts in the wheat and
barley which Nature can make use
OF for rebuilding brain and nerve
centres are retained in this remarks
able food, and thus the human bods
is supplied with thep powerful strength
producers SO easily noticed aften one
has eaten Grape-Nuts each day for /
week or 10 days. There's a rea
son"
Get the little book, THE Road Ii
WellYillesD ia pkes.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10

A report has recently been published
which shows how closely the growth of
trees is dependent upon rainfall. Not
only was this seen in the case of one
and two year old trees, but in an in
vestigation extending over period Of
twelve years, during which time the
annual rings Of growth were carefully
examined. With an annual preclpita-
ton of from thirty to thiry-five inches
a width of ring was produced varying
from II to rs inch. II, on the other
hand, there was either an unusually
large or small rainfall In any given
year this was followed by a CORE
spending tree growth in the following
year Harper's Weekly.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10
Pc RI MA STRENGTHENS
THE ENTIRE SYSTEM.

Mr. Chas. L. sauer, Grand Scribe, Grand
Encampment ]. o. @. F. Of Texas, and
CITY Hall, San San Antonio rsSs Tex .:e1 ~ '''
Nearly two years ago | accepted POI
sitioD as secretary and treasurer with ono
q the leading dry goods establishments Of
Galveston, Tex.
'The sudden change from high and
dry altitude to sea level proved zoo much
for me and became afflicted with catarrh
and cold in the head, and general debility
to such an extent as to almost incapaci%
tate me for attending to my duties.
~ aUGs induced to try Pe-ras-1s0s
and after tCslcfaag several bottles fsi
small doses Z am pleased TO say that
tCns entirely restored TO my normal
CON dttfOn a nd haze eOe1. since REQ
commended the use or Per1sna to nsw
fTfendsv
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10
Told OF Mark Twain.

At a recent dinner Mark Twain, ac-
cording to an English report, made a
most amusing little speech which was
responded to as follows by lawyer
who was present: Doesn't it strike
the company as little unusual" he
inquired, that professional humOrist
should be funny?' When the laugh
that greeted this sally had subsidized,
Mark Twain drawled out, Doesn't it
strike the company as little unusual
that lawyer should have his hands in
his own pockets Y'- Harper's Weekly.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10

Good writing brings other satisfac'
tions besides mere incomes.n The art
Of writing well is as great as the art OF
building well, painting well, singing on
playing we'll; it is more important thar
of these, and more difficult. There is
much good writing done, but good only
In some particulars. Writing is great
art which requires special preparation
and training. Try writing sonnet
every day for twelve months. Write
anything, write everything, Waiter Fl
pagei
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10

along without worrying much until
dropsy set in. My feet and ankles
swelled up, my hands pulled and be-
came so tense could hardly close
them. had great difficulty in
breathing, and my heart would fut-
ter with tho least exertion. | could
not walk far without stopping again
and again to rest. Since using four
boxes of Doan's Kidney Pills the
bloating has gone down and the feel
ings of distress have disappeared.
Sold by all dealers. SO cents a
box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo,
n. Y.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10
n the Catskills.

At the end Of her first month in
the Catskills she wrote to her bank
er husband in New York: Dear
Frank No time for a long letter
Al we'll. am sending bills. Please
reply by check. Best love, dear.
He replied MY Dear Martha
Check inclosed, covering the amount
of all the bills. But for heaven 4
sake don't buy any more hotels al
such prices. Summer resort property
is going down this year. Devotedly
George. New York Press.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10
Defined.

A certain member of the Yale facul
ty IS famous for his power Of condens
ing his many strong antipathies into
trenchant epigrams. His pet abhor'
renee is logic, a fact which was I'M
known to the student who recently ap
preached him with the question
Professor u am thinking Of
taking logic next year. What do you
think of the courseT
s'Horse sense made asinine,' = respond
ed the professor, tersely. Harper's
Weekly.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10
THIRTEEN TREES
Planted by Hamilton to Commemor.
ate the Original States.


ate the Original States.
More than century ago, on the
upper west side Of New York, at a
spot known as Fort George, but now
part of Harlem, Alexander Hamil-
ton, whose breath was stopped by
Aaron Burr's bullet, planted thirteen
trees within a radius of thirteen
square feet Now they are sturdy
oaks and a splendid object lesson in
forestry.
Although planted on the knoll OF
an obscure hill, this bunch of timber
attracts the attention of all who pass
that way, whether they know it's his
tory or not. You may face them from
any angle, or from any range Of Wis
ion, and count them, but by some ho-
Gus pocus, you are sure to miscalcu-
late their number, invariably falling
short at least one tree, only round
dozen being visible.
According to the Chicago News, il
order to accurately count the trees in
this big trunk maze you must scale
the 1ilapidated fence surrounding the
oaks and count them one by one,
marking them in order to avoid a
second error You will then find that
the unlucky number is there.
Harlemites, who are acquainted
with the mystery, frequently lay wae-
ers with the INITIATED. After arous-
ing a strangers curiosity they eager
ly bet him that he cannot count the
Hamilton oaks correctly. They al
ways win, of course. Then they take
pride in telling the loser how to play
the game on Others and get even.
The thirteen trees were planted by
Hamilton to commemorate the tnir-
teen original States. ~ Philadelphia
Record. N.Y.-2S.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10

Leanness is caused generally by lack
of power in the digestive organs to
digest and assimilate the fat producing
elements Of food. First restore diges-
ton, take plenty of sleep, drink all the
stomach will bear in the morning on
rising, take moderate exercise in the
open air, eat oatmeal, cracked wheat,
graham mush, baked sweet apples,
roasted and broiled beef, cultivate jolly
people and bathe daily.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10

A man in Chicago, says writer in
Judge, found himself in the chair of a
strange barber, to whom his features,
although unfamiliar, seemed to carry
some reminiscent suggestion.
"Haye you been here 5efore?" asked
che haircutter.
Once said the man.
Strange / do not recognize your
face"
mot at ALL said the man. III
changed a good deal as It healed"
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10

EerliS GuAA IL eii0 SASeAASS -
The brushing Of dusty clothes in the
living rooms Of the household is OPP
posed to Clearly sentiment, apart alto
gether from the evil to health, which,
as tine bacteriology Of dust distinctly
indicates, might easily be caused by
the process. The imagination does not
require to be stretched very far to
realize that the clothes brush might be
easily responsible for the dissemination
of disease. Dust is rarely, If ever,
free from heterogeneous, and among
them pathogenic entities have been
recognized. Dust is, in fact, an enemy
10 the human race, a vehicle of disease,
and should everywhere and on every
occasion, however trifiing, be prevented
as far as means can be employed to
that end.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-07-10
COMFORT AND STYLE.

American makers strike the happy
medium in walking boots and shoes.
The French viii not give up coquet-
tish heels and daintily pointed toes
for comfort while the English go to
the other extreme and produce a
clumsy, ugly boot The Americans.
on the contrary, combine comfort with
style and the result is an attractive
as well as comfortable footgear.