Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-02-21

elected because some ill-advised per
son remarked in public: Give him
chance. He can't be worse takes
into his confidence three ministers, 8
lawyer, two bank presidents and a
Door of Hope superintendent, and sets
out to give the city clean and hon
est business administration. He asks
for suggestions as to the appointment
of chief of police. The superintend.
ent sits up and suggests the name OF
Henry McWaddle.
"'Hennery is good man, he re-.
marks. Also he's familiar with po.
lice matters. He once spent four days
looking into the subject and wrote q
magazine article on the corruption OF
municipal constabulaly' Henry gets
the job and goes to work to take the
police out of politics. Within two
weeks every copper on the force is
familiar with the names of the princi
pal magazine ntributors, where
manuscript can be disposed of to the
best advantage, and the second-story
men are going cheerfully to their work
at nine every evening Mayor Blint2
is SO busy receiving encouragement
from his friends that he has little time
to hear the complaints. He knows that
no policeman is to be found near a
side door-they are not to be found
anywhere else either. In every sta
ton house is to be heard the merry
click of the typewriter, or the deep
rumrfe of Emersonian essays. Re-
form has got in it's deadly work. The
mayor has appointed Charles Flint
Jackson to the head Of the plumbing
department, and Charles, a likely
youth with eyeglasses, has stopped the
leaks, but the sewer gas is choking
the city to death. In the fire de-
partment you will find the firemen
going merrily to their duties, but
cursing when they get there. owing
to an order which forbsds water to be
turned on the hydrants except between
two and five. That. my boy, is the
average REFORM
"But is no reform successful, dear
uncle?" inquired Little billy, anx-
{ously.
Indeed it isl responded his uncle
genially. But not the usual civic
kind. That only serves to show the
public where they got in wrong. The
real reform is not Of that brand. II
does not get up On it's hind legs and
shrek madly about what it is going
to do, but erawls merrily on it's 'stom
ach to the props that uphold the
graft-ridden structure, kicks them out
and when the crooks have regaineG
consciousness they find themselves II
jail. That is the only reform worth
talking about, billy, and it please:
me to note that one or two men are
using that kind. Shy, my dear lad
at the DOGGY of the business admins
tration reform. 1t is faded flower
/ do not want q business administra
ton, Dilly, and I can assure you tina
the great majority Of the people ar
with me in this. You may ask why
In strict confidence I will tell you
but you must not breathe it. It i
! SAAAos L AO &AWS1 OuS1ACoo AA0A i
altogether too fly. We are afraid Q
him."
"But are not reformers, sincere?
asked Little billy.
"Sincere indeed" responded Uncl
George with smile. "Sincerity7
their watchword, but I grieve to sa
that this sincerity only applies to tn
rapidity with which they make friend
with the reporters. Those are the pro
fessional reformers, however, my boy
The real brand are never known as re
formers at all. They are merely me-
with keen sense Of the public wrong
and they are too busy to talk abou
themselves and what they hope to DE-
Instead Of wasting time so valuable
they occupy it by going before tn
grand jury and dragging down hat
full of indictments, which are serve
and satisfied before the recipients ar
getting their first coffee in, the morn
ing" Ill.,. '.=...... .s:. > ~. l.:
! 'But reformers are of service to gu
country, are they not, dear uncle?
inquired Little billy. VI; 33. Il .ss:
Some of them, billy, are about !
much use as gold collar button woul
4 be- to AN Igorrote 3