The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-16
Der German CobbIez'
His friend the Cooper Gives Him
Some Bad AdKfce.

One time When I don't have nottings
20 do und vhas feeling dot L shall go by
der pOOrhOuse pOoty queek, my friend
der cooper calls in to smoke his pipe
After we talk leedle he says.
Hans. I see how it vhas NIT you
You vhas an old Dutchman who don't
catch on to der ways of desc Amer
Jeans. IF you do peesness here you
must have something's new every day
on must kill a man, rob bank, run
away nit somebody's wife or get Oop
some excitements. Der peoples 60 init
& rush from one place to another. You
must do something's to make EN- come
to your cobbler shop Can't you kill
your wife or put your baby on hot
stove ?"
by goIly but I don't do such things
ST 7 starve to DEATH I says
''Vheu, don't get excited about It.
We shall begin in an easy vhay. To-
morrow you shall tell fortunes, und
bet dot more ash feefty peoples come
into your shop
But how can L tell fortunes?" I
asked.
you shust open your mouth und
speak No matter What you say It
vhas all right Dere vhas one hundred
fools to one vhise man, und it vhas der
fools you WAS after
Dot cooper talks to me for half an
hour, und before goes to bed dot
night paints me a sign und hangs her
Come in und haf your fortune told.
She don't cost YOU a cent. Der Ger
man cobbler nefer makes a mistake -
My vhife says troubles may come of
st. but 7 goes to bed happy. und [ vhas
hardly awake in DER morning VII en-
peoples vhas knocking ON der door.
Der first person to come in Vhas a
butcher. When he vhas inside he
whispers to me:
GIVE 1t to me straight. cobbler. und
WAS HlXaWE friend IF 7
you vhas a fortune teller I vhas here a
month ago, for I suffer i'm my mind"
You vhas going to be unlucky." I
nays, after looking at him for a min
ute.
+For heavens sake. don't say doti7
"I cant help it. You must bring
me all your shoes to mend but still
sou Will be unlucky. Your vhife vhas
going to run AWAY NIT another man;
your deg vhas going to die; you shall
haf two lawsuits; your hair shall fall
of und you shall become bald-headed:
Sou shall fall off a street car und
preak your leg; you shall bet ON der
wrong horse und lose all your money"
"But Why should all dis bad luck
come to me2" he groans-
because you hat sold too much
bone init your meat. Think of der
fousands und tens of t'ousands of peo-
pies who haf paid YOU from fifteen to
twenty cents pound for bonesi''
But cant something's be dOne2"
Maybe if you quit selling bones"
He sits down und holds his head in
his hands for a minute und thinks it
ofer und den he shumps up und says.
mot on your life Der bones heir
along der profits Say, cobbler, L be
iieve you vhas an old fraud. I believe
you are standing in nit der coal man
to scare me out of business. Maybe
my hair shall fall of, but yours shall
go first''
Und init dat he grabs me by he1
hair und bangs my head against del
vhau und makes me so seasick dot
believ I vhas in der steerage goine
back to Germany like to take dot
sign down. but before 7 can do so 9
vhomans comes in. She vas tail und
solid und sober. She don't smile any
more ash q paving stone After she
looks at me for a minute like a Judge
she says.
'sCobbler, What fate is hanging ofei
my head
I believe she vhas a widow vhoman.