davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10

DIR. Hewitt-What did you do when
you found that the man upon whom you
had operated for appendicitis had no
Vcrmiform appendix1
DIR. Jewett-I inserted one; / WASH Z
going to let him fool another poor. hard
working Doctor
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10

It's never late till the owl cars stop.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10
STRANGE SPEECH OF THE BIRDS AND FOWLS

Distinguished Eushmsn Upon Subject
Frank Finn, r A. =. y s. in London EXPRESS
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10

owl cars-a fact.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10


A Mr. Hunter an oil man, reported
yesterday that on Saturday he dragged
from the river q dead horse, which, he
says was near the point at which the
city supply is secured. He took the
trouble to do this because he is a user
of the city water.-Bartlesville Qnd. T)
Enterprise.
Let's start move to stand pat on
Noah Webster.
The reason why Illinois is called the
Sucker state is easily seen when it is
considered how large a portion of her
population live in Chicago.
A new book is called 1.-The Sin Of
Silence Don't tell the women
Cuba would make lots more sugar II
she didn't raise so much cain.
However. his pictures don't show
Bryan clad in a barrel.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10
Warped Wisdom

However, his pictures don't show
Bryan clad in a barrel.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10

For practice in bringing order out Of
chaos the car might try reforming
Russian spelling.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10

IT'S when the boss is hot that you get
a summary dismissal.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10

Widows weeds and the flowers on
lubby's grave wlther at the same time.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10

Cuba would make lots more sugar II
she didn't raise so much cain.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10
Pi-LimeS and Pick-IJps
Whv2


Some people. for a change Of air,
Along the seashore range;
While others seek the beaches fair
Simply to air their change
And thus you see
The sounding sea
Can all things unto all men bel
widows weeds and the flowers on
hubby's grave wlther at the same time.
Maybe people will read the Congress
sional Record now, to learn the new
spelling.
IT'S when the boss is hot that you get
a summary dismissal
For practice In bringing order out Of
chaos, the car might try reforming
Russian spelling.
Anxious About the Hills and Things
Thomas r.. Paxton, wife and children
left Monday for Kingston, Mo, to visit
his old home and see how the old hills
and things look. They will return
Frlday.-Valley Falls Kans.) New Era.
It's long lane that has no road
houses
What some banks needed was an
officer proof safe.
Every single woman is miss-mated
when she weds.
Professor on the Water Wagon
Prof. Holladay has been here for some
weeks drinking our lithia water, with
gratifying results.-Appomattox (Va)
Times.
But why have sinking fund for
floating a dock?
Isn't it more like de-formed spelling.
If money didn't talk, how'd we hear
of the 400?
Arbitration would be more popular II
men got medals for it.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10

A new book is called "The Sin Of
Hence Don't tell the women!
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10

Maybe people will read the Congress
sional Record now, to learn the new
spelling.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10

Some people. for a change Of air,
Along the seashore range;
While others seek the beaches fair
Simply to air their change.
And thus you see
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10
Professor on the Water Wagon
Another Muck Raker

Arbitration would be more popular II
men got medals for 1t.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-10

Let's start move to stand pat on
Noah Webster.
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1906-02-21

litter, and from six to eight litters a year. Like
side of week they get the of eyes and limbs,
and III fortnight frisking about, seeing life
their own account. They begin to Craze soon as
they leave the nest which is nearly always exposed
and but few inches underground.
Snowfall develops in Bred Rabbit curious wealth
er instinct. If he hops about, browsing and frisk-
ing, you may be there will come but a very few
inches of snow; if he crouches snugly in a grass
ut then look out for at least foot As crouchees
he moves gently back and FORTH now little on this
side, that Thus he hapes for himself a
chamber little bigger than his own body
BY and by the deepening arches it over, but
his warm breath melts tiny hole in the roof thus
preventing sufocaton. Sometimes it is two DAYS
before the furry occupant leaves this refuge. By
that time the is commonly crusted over hard
enough to bear his weight
When lies thus, rabbit hunters look close
for the breathing holes Once found there are two
ways OPEN One the pot-hunter's, is to fall fiat
upon the hole, and grab Brer Rabbit as he bursts
up through the snow, swing him thrice around above
the head, then knock out his brains. The other
the spOrtsman's is to rout out the coton-tail but
give him chance for his life, slipping dog
in chase until he has fair thirty-years start.
Both methods practiced so successfully every
snowy winter that it is sothful farm house indeed,
anywhere in the rabbit country, which does not have
rabbits by the dozen to broil or stew or smother
Nei0 YOrk Sun
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1906-02-21
BRER RABBIT.
Southern Presbyterian.

Scientifically, there is distinction between rab-
bits and hares, although both belong to the genus
LePus. To the lay mind they much the same
Both are grass-eaters afraid of their own shadows
with short tails very soft fur and deeply cleft upper
lip.
Feeble as they are rabbits constitute menace to
things ever much more powerful, even to man him
self, through the faculty of growing and spreading
That has been demonstrated over and over by the
rabbit plague of Australia. Everybody has heard
how homesick colonial turned loose a few pairs in
a rabbitless land, and how within a few years the
pairs had multiplied until they devoured every green
thing in the neighborhood, and seriously threatened
the raising of sheep The plague is not yet wholly
abated although the Government and the flock mas
tiers together have spent good many million dol
lars. Trapping, shooting, poisoning the
tabshing of canning factories, have only suiced to
keep the rabbits moderately in check.
"Timid Wat" English folk call him, is a vora-
cious feeder. He grazes closer than Sheep and,
like the sheep, delights to his grasses with
tender barks and buds. Curously enough, when
forage is most plenty, from April to October he is
leanest and lankest, unfit for eating if full grown,
but deliciously toothsome if young The minute
frost falls he begins to fatten. Three nights of it
put him in prime condition. He seldom feeds then
save at night. Indeed that is his favorite feeding
time From March to mid-May he prefers the earli-
est morning hours in which to ravage gardens
All winter long he keeps fat and saucy nibbling
buds and bark, and searching the desoate cornelds
for overlooked nubbns grazing off the tenderest
stalks of springing winter wheat. He hunts or
chards too not only for scattered apples but nip
low-hanging boughs, and to girde young trees. I'm
checked he will quickly and surely destroy whole
newlyset orchard. Indeed until the bark becomes
hard he is a constant danger.
He is greater pest to the garden Early
peas, bects potato slips, he devours in night I'M
less indeed the gardener has been wise enough to try
homeopathic prevention. That is to say, unless as
his peas and beets peeped above the ground he killed
rabbit, tore it to pieces in tub of water, then
traied swab wet in the liquid all around the plot
Timid Wat has evidently mighty keen nose. He
will not pass the barrier until there falls hard
rain Then, of course it needs to be renewed SINH
larly orchards protected by running the trunks
two feet up with piece of fresh rabbit skin.
Rabbit mothers pluck soft down from their own
breasts to line the earthern burrows in which they
rear their young. There are four six of these in
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1906-02-21
THE BREAD CAME BACK.

boy who had been working in bakershop for
some time was just about to finish his trade. One
night when the boss gone he broke the marble
slab he moulded his loaves on, he went to the
marbleyard to secure another, but could not find
one. On the way back, he passed graveyard and
as it was very dark he jumped over and pulled up
small maidstone about the right size and took it
back and finished his job The next day, after the
bread had been delivered, nearly all of it sent
back. The baker looked at it and broke several
loaves open, but found nothing wrong. Then he
happened to turn of the loaves over, and found
the under side of every loaf the inscription:
"Here lies the body of Mrs. -. Born A. D. 1852;
died A. D. 1740"
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1906-02-21

20 no! 80 have wandered into the land that is
not down on the maps!" said Harold While he ,yos
laughing at his discovery he awoke
Before Harold left his room he glanced at tbe Ri
bic, still open at his previous reading place AS
he left the room he murmured: Lead me into tbe
land of uprightness'
"What a fine boy Percy Atkins isl Don't ,,o,, +b;,-
so, Harod?" asked his sister Kate at the breakfast
table.
Harold glanced at his sister and set his cup down
very slowly before answering. He had disagreed
with Percy yesterday about point in baseball
game, and he found it hard to praise him But with
feeling of shame he thought: mo one should oo
back on friend in the land of uprightness lust be-
cause OF difference of opinion; and perhaps was
wrong after ALL" when he did speak it was to
say sincerely: Eyes Percy is all RIGHT q first ratio
fellow in every respect"
The rain falling in torrents.
Take the car, Harold" said his mother
The car was crowded to its utmost capacity and
the conductor in the pressure, overlooked Harold
and his classmate, Joe Henly
eve shall have to give him the fare as we pass
out" said Harold.
NO" said Joe, eff he missed that is his look
out; save your nickel for Saturday afternoon"
Is that the way they do in the unmarked land?"
Who whispered this into Harod's heart?
81 will pay my fare, he said decidedly; sit would
not be honest to keep the money"
"Oh, well, if you put it that way, I'll pay too"
replied Joe, "but L must say l think you rather
too particular"
Armstrong.
Here fellows" he said confdentialy, "I1 never
get over eighty anyhow, but I'm willing to help
You who have a chance Here two maps [ cut
from paper. Well be sure to have some questions
about the Philippine Islands. You may each have
one of these maps to put in your pocket. A little
glance might mean another ten to you"
THANK you, Frank" said Joe, taking the paper
eagerly.
just for a moment Harold was tempted Then
Ike fla came he ( he nd
down the map.
"Thank you, Frank for the kindness you mean,
but you don't want to help to cheat, do you? 1
want to get my eighty honestly, and does Joe,"
he added turning to his companion.
Joe blushed and looked uncertain, then tossed the
map from him.
With a thrill of pleasure Harold realized it
the good spirit who had been taking the lead that
morning, and he being led Unto the land of up
Brightness" Young Peoples Weekly.
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1906-02-21
Week Days.
THREE VS.. SIX.

When | was just little boy
l hadn't any sense;
For tho my mamma said, "No MOI"
I'D climb the garden fence;
Most every time my foot would slip,
Down, down I'd go kerthump,
And then my foolish little head
Would get awful bump.
Id cry, and cry, and cry until
My mammad come to see
If BEARS or wolves, something big
Had come to your me;
Shed take me in her lap and smooth
The bumpy place and say,
I'm sorry that my little son
Will have his naughty way.
I'm big now, I'm almost six,
And | can hold on tight;
But brother Ted will follow me-
He's but little mite.
Now mamma calls to say, "NIy son,
Don't let your brother fall"
So / must get right down and east
Have any fun at all.
/ wish that little boys like Ted
Would learn to have some sense,
They ought to know that they too small
TO climb a garden fence;
But do you know that they always think
That they really do
Just everything we big boys can,
wonder why, don't you?
Southern Presbyterian.
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1906-02-21
A FAIRY TALE.

The beginning of pearl is but tiny grain of
sand by accident lodged in oysters shell and
gradually covered with nacre, which hardens into
pearl. The Ceylon fishermen take advantage of this
by fashionng tiny lead images which they force into
the shells of the oysters, which are then put into
wire baskets and sunk into their oceanbed home
After year the oysters shed up and the images
found enameled with pearl.-M NJ w
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1906-02-21
ANSWERED.
VI. ". w.

'eWhat is the secret of SUGGEST" asked the Sphinx.
''rush" said the Button.
Never be led" said the Pencil.
"Take palms, said the Window.
always keep cool" said the Ice.
"Be up-to-date,0 said the Calendar.
'Never lose your head" said the Barrel.
make light of everything" said the Fire.
"Do driving business" said the Hammer
"Aspire to greater things" said the Nutmeg.
"Be sharp in all your dealings" said the Knife
Find good thing and stick to it," said the Glue
'Do the work YOU are suited for" said the Chin
lev
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1906-02-21
MEMORY GEMS.

Three little rules we all should keep
To make life happy and bright
Smile in the morning; smile at noon;
And keep on smiling at night.
Happy as a robin,
Gentle as a dove
That's the kind of little child
Every one will love.
No matter what you try to do,
At home or at your school
Always do your very BEST
There is no better rule.
I'll be a little sunbeam true,
A tiny ray of light;
And try in all / say and do
TO make the world more bright
NJ M w
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1906-02-21
HIS IMPERIAL HIGHNESS.

A funny little chin,
And a funny little nose,
A funny little grin,
Ten funny little toes.
Two funny little eyes,
And funny little hands,
How funnily he tries
To give his wee commands.
A funny little sigh,
A funny little head,
That funnily will try
To miss the time for bed.
A funny little peep
From funny eyes that CLEAN,
a funny little sleep
A funny little dream.
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1906-02-21
WHITE FIELDS.

! love the days in winter
When snow falls all around,
And like a soft, white blanket
Is spread upon the ground.
] love the days in summer
When daisies are in bloom,
And cover all the meadow
Like a carpet on a room.
And which I think the prettiest
/ really do not know
When the fields are white with daisies,
Or when they're white with snow.
Carolyn Wells, in st, Eiobok
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-22
NO AGREEMENT REACHED
AT ALL DAY CONFERENCE

Indianapolis, March 21.-The joint scale
committee of the joint conference of the
coal operators and miners of the central
competitive and southwest districts were
in session almost the entire day, but
nothing was accomplished toward ar
irving at an agreement
The committee of the central COMPETE
tive field composed of Illinois, Indiana,
Ohio and Pennsylvania devoted its ses-
sions to discussion of the Illinois shot
firers law which the operators of that
state claim unjustly discrminates against
them as it adds an additional expense
of from 2 TO 1 cents on each ton of
mined coal. The miners representatives
on the committee refused to make any
declaration upon the subject and asked
for recess until tomorrow morning that
they might caucus. Their caucus was
devoted to discussion as to the best means
of getting the argument in the joint
committee away from the shot fiters'
proposition and getting before the COM
mittee the general proposition of wages,
run of mine basis, differential and other
matters contained in the demands made
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-22

by them in the former Joint conference
which adjourned February 2. They re-
gard these propositions as more important
and desire that they should be settled
first.
The committee of both districts will
report to their several joint conferences
as soon as they have reached definite
understanding. Any agreement reached
must be ratified by these several con-
ferences, the members Of which are
awaiting the action of their committees.
Illinois held a caucus and reiterated
their firm position in their demand for
relief from what they consider an I'M
lust situation caused by the expense en-
tailed by the shot firers' law.
The joint conference of the southwest
district named Joint scale committee
and took an adjournment pending its
action.
President Mitchell of the mine workers
said today. he had not received letter
from President Baer in reply to his -propo-
sition for another anthracite meeting
and until he has received it and sub
mitted 1t to the miners and anthracite
committee, the members of which are
here, he could not discuss the time and
place for the meeting.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-22
ALABAMIANS ARE
INVITED TO CO
Veterans Urged to Accept Invitation to
Attend the Wheeler Memorial
In Atlanta.

Montgomery, March 21-(Special.)-Th
Alabama veterans of the Confederacy
have been INVITED and will accept the in
vitation to the Wheeler memorial. to be
held in Atlanta March q. The following
orders have been issued in the premises:
Headquarters Ala. Div. U. c. V.
i"Offce of the Adjutant General,
Montgomery, March 81, 1906.
"Circular-rhe following is published for
the information of all veterans:
Representative delegations from each
camp in Alabama are invited to attend
the great Wheeler memorial celebration
IN Atlanta. Ga, on Tuesday March 81.
Railroad rates one-fare round trip from all
points good for fifteen days. Please noti
fly camps to advise me number
THE major general commanding the
Alabama division is requested by Chair
man Jones to extend this invitation TO
each member of his staff. to the brigade
ct nlmanders and to the staff of each. and
to all veterans of Alabama. The major
general commanding hopes the attendance
OF the Alabama veterans will be large, as
the occasion will be of national i'm
portance.
'Bv command Of Mai Gen. George p.
Harrison. HARVEY Il. JONES,
"Adjutant General and Chief of Staff."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-22
ILLINOIS CENTRAL
AGREEMENT FILED
DETAILS OF THE CONNECTION BY
WHICH ROAD is TO REACH 6iR-
MINGHAM ARE FILED WITH THE
SECRETARY OF STATE.

Montgomery, March Special. 1.-The
notice of agreement by which the Illinois
Central railway is to get into Birming
ham via Jackson, Tenn, and the North
ern Alabama, the Mobile and Ohio and
,other ZINES, has been filed with the secre-
tey2r custate 1t is certified by A. w. Me-
1nt55sS. = the Mobile and Ohio, the last
company ratifying, and gives the entire
details of connection. being as follows:
Resolved, That the stockholders of
the Mobile and Ohio Railroad company
do hereby assent to the agreement dated
January 49, 1906 between Illinois Central
Railroad company, Jackson and South
eastern Railroad company, Mississippi
and Alabama Railroad company and Ala
bama Western Railroad company with
Southern Railway company, Mobile and
Ohio Railroad company and Northern
Alabama Railroad company by which the
Mobile and Ohio Railroad company grants
to Illinois Central Railroad company the
right to use its line between a connec-
ton to he made Herewith south of Jack
son, Tenn. by the Jackson and South
eastern Railroad company, and another
connection to be made Herewith north
of Corinth, Miss. by the Mississippi and
Alabama, and by which further the Mo-
bile and Ohio obtains the right to use
the railroads of the Mississippi and Ala
bama and the Alabama Western between
said connections north of Corinth, and a
connection to be made by said Alabama
Western with the Northern Alabama,
near Haleyville. Ala, upon the terms
and conditions set forth in the form of
agreement dated January 49, 1906"
The following new corporations have
been reported to the secretary of state:
Gadsden Railway, Light and Power
company. Gadsden, capital $1,000. Incorpor-
ators G. II. and E. T. Schiller and Q. r.
Hood
nlston, capital $4,000. Incorporators r. w.
and Pauline Miller and c. NJ. Woodruff.
ProwelI Hardware company. Birming-
ham. Increase of capital stock from $780,
600 to S225000.
Gordon Driskil Mercantile company, At
more. capital 10000 1ncorporators J. A.
and H. o. Driskill, W. Y. Gordon and w.
Y. Cook.
Smith Mercantile company, Atmore,
capital 5000. Ineorporators l.. NJ Smith,
w. b. Palmer and j. ID. Curtis.
Goldstein Iron and Hide company, Biz
mingham, named changed to the Birming-
ham Cooperage company
State Superintendent of Education !.
w. Hill has gone to Wylam to assist in
a fight for local school tax TO be levied
in the municipality. This can be done
AT Wylam, by authority Of the constitu-
ton
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-22
Speaker Cannon Replies.

After President Gompers had read the
memorial, Speaker Cannon made speech
In which he resented the charges of I'M
fairness against the House committee on
labor.
1T is impossible for committee not
to have many men of many ideas in its
makeup said the Speaker. II select the
committees with all fairness. 1t Is i'm
possible for caucus to select them as
that would consume a whole session. In
your annual meetings. you doubtless find
great variety of opinion. If you don t
have lot Of damns I miss my guess.
No two men have the same IDEAS
President Gompers replied to this state
ment by praising Representative Gardiner
of New Jersey. the chairman of the House
committee on labor and stating that the
other members of the committee, espe-
cially the majority members. have not in
the opinion of labor interests shown or
binary intelligence in their treatment of
matters affecting labor
speaker Cannon replied that he did not
think such criticism Just. He also en-
Joined labor organizations to consider that
they have as great n responsibility rest
ing on them as has Congress. lie urged
that each member of such an organiza-
ton should take an oath to administer
the affairs of the organization in the In
terest OF the greatest number of persons
You are not the whole shooting match
but good share OF It," said Speaker
Cannon. He congratulated the delegation
on its representative character and urged
that the members should remember that
all men had been at liberty to join their
organizations and all at present members
should he at liberty to continue their
membership He expressed his sympathy
with the desire of organized labor for
better conditions. but said 1t must all
ways be remembered by each of us that
out specialties monopolize our attention
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-22

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pany, as tosmy honesty for my contracts.
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been treated by some one else before call
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My offices are the most private and
quiet in the city, tenth story of the new
First National bank building, corner of
Second avenue and Twentieth street.
Rooms 1905 and 1907. Take one of the find
elevators to tenth floor.
Office hours: $3.50 a. m. to $50 p. m.
Sunday 10 a m. to II m.