Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-11-29
HAM, X S
GRIZZLY
By HARRY IRVING GREENE.
(copyright.)

Hank, the guide, peeped into the cof-
fee pot and then sat down on log to
await the boiling.
The queerest reptile ever l met" he
said, was up in Utah. Drifted into
Whisky likes parlor one evenin', and
feelin' pretty good, shot a few holes
through the ceilin', not meanin' no harm.
Bineby down comes little Teller with
notEin' on but his pants, shirt and
spectickles and looks me over. He was
a funny lookin' critter, cock-eyed, long
body and short legs, like one of them
what do you call them dogs, Clawed,
what they bring UP uhder d bureau SO
their legs can't grows"
"Daclishunds"
Yes, l reckon thefti's 1t. His legs
was 50 short that when he stood ut his
feet Just touehed the floor and that's all.
Prettj soof he says, 4 itiust insist that
you. cease shootin' through thy bedroom.
1t Is very ,aiihoyin', and If you do SO
any more | will be compelled to take
the law into my own hands,
How SOP ! asks, cnrious enouHh.
Well, he goes down III his pocket and
fishes around for spell like he had lost
sotriettii', and finally digs up little
peewee, putty sliootin' weppin about the
size Of a cigarette and holds it out in
front of him like a woman h'ists up a
dead rat by the tail. I shall shoot back
says HE, ffownin'
"Fot a tnifinut | was knocked speech
less, then l come to slowly. OF all the
sawed off, hammered down, nail-bitin'
death breathih', roarin', tearin' DULLES
ever l seen, you are the wust,' l says, and
turns away. But the next 1norrin', as
l was settih' spectlatin' OH the here
after, tip comes this same little banty
and hires me to take him into the hills.
Come to find out he was buggist, one
of them fellers that is always stickih'
theft noses into the private business Of
toads aid ,reptyles to find out what
they are doin' when they are home and
in the buzzuins of their families. Well,
we QUILTED in way that would make
d pals dinit,'-car look like a lunch
cottttsr and struck Oft, and immediate
that Teller commenced to get busy.
Every time he would see a damned bug
a-crawlin' along the trail he wanted to
get off his cayiise and foller him home
Durndest fool.
"About week afterwards l seen that
we had jumped the claim of an old
grizzly. First | noticed where he had
wallered and then rubbed up against a
rampike and slashed 1t with his claws
his trademark on 1t and stallin'
out his claim to that range. / didn't say
nothin', but at last the dude seen 1t him
self, and blame me If he didn't know
what it meant-iievef was SO surprised
in my life. He got Interested at once,
buzzin' around here atd there like fly
on free lunch, Said he wanted to
take q pictur Of him with the little box
he had packed OF, his back, wanted to
foller him up and take his fotygraf at
clus range. told him iiothin' would
make me more happiet; that / dearly
loved to set down beside a grizzly and
swap news with hini-kind OF fad Of
that | always waited Until a
circus come along before gratifyiti' my
hankerin'.
ooh, sugar They won't hurt you,'
he answered. Don't be afraid. / have
read all about bears in books, and they
amt dangerous
4'That's all right, too, but suppose he
happens to be gum chune bear?' |
asked.
GA what?' says he.
"a gum chime bear. Never heard
Of one? am surprised that you didn't
read about them in your Biography A
gum chune bear is a grouchy old bach,
or maybe disciplined old maid, what
gifts down on sassiety and longs to wipe
it out. He noses around Until he gets
a big wad of spruce gum and he chaws
on that day after day to strengthen his
Jaws. When he gets so he can chaw a
crow-bar off first shot out of the box,
then he goes a-wooih' trouble. Better
go little careful with this bear, pard !;
he might be gtlm chune'
"Well, instead of scarin' the little
skeeter, that only made him more ai1x-
ious TO spy the brute. I should dearly
love ter see glim chime that I might
inspect his maxillaries,' says he, what
ever them might be. I didn't say no
more, but l thought if little, half
growed son of a microbe like him dast
stay IN the same country with grizzly,
a full-growed man like yer Uncle Hank
ought not to be afraid to walk up to
one and pull his whiskers out. Well,
we camped there, and, sure enough, a
couple of days after l run into the
tracks again, smokin' hot, so / hops
back right lively to camp.
THE buggist was backed up against a
tree with a pair of binders on. Said he
was examinin' the hairs on the legs of
a skeeter to see what tribe he belonged
to, but when / told him l had rounded
up his game he dropped the inseck sud-
den. Where is hep asks the little man.
About half mile up the gully yon-
der. Better straddle along right peart,
because | didn't tie him none too fast
says /.
"Certain; to be sure. Had I best
take my weppin?' he says.
"sAc ppY p1eaca' cove I tRi,f