The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-05-30

H.. was ready, II
his sarcasm on the few occasions on
which he employed it was overwhelm.
Ing.
The most familiar example of this
sarcasm was that used to characterize
Roscoe Conkling. 1t made the two men
enemies for life and doubtless had
much to do with preventing the Maine
man from reaching the presidency. It
sent the house into paroxysms Of laugh.
ter n is still famous in Washington.
COnkling had referred to Blaine in a
rather overbearing way. plainly losing
his temper. Mr.. Blaine replied:
n to the gentleman's cruel sarcasm.
| hope he will not be too severe. The
contempt Of that large minded gentle.
man is so whiting. his naughty disdain,
grandiloquent swell. his majestic, su-
perellinent. overpowering, turkey COB
bier strut has been so crushing to my
self and all the members of this house
that ! know it was an act Of tenerity
tor me to venture upon Il controversy
With him. But, sir. | know who Is re-
sponsible for all this. I know that
within the last five weeks. as members
OF this house will recoliect, an extra
strut has characterized the gentleman's
bearings.
1T Is not his fault; it is the fault of
another. That gifted and satirical writ
er, heodo Tilton Of the New York
Independent, spent some weeks re-
Gently in this city. His letters, pub
lished IN that paper, embraced with
many serious statements Il little jocose
satire. a part of which was the asser-
ton that the mantle of the late Winter
Davis had fallen upon the gentleman
from New York. The gentleman took
1t seriously. and it has given his strut
additional pomposity. The resemblance
Is great; it is striking Hyperion to
a satyr. Thersites to Hercules, mud to
marble. a dunghill to Il diamond, a
singed cat to a Bengal tiger. a whin-
ing puppy to a roaring lion. Shade of
the mighty Davis, forgive the almost
proclamation Of that jocose satiye::''
Gail Hamilton relates the first wit
ticism that the Maine man is known
to have perpetrated in a public speech.
Strangely enough, 1t was ut his own
expense. William Pitt Fessenden was
advertised to speak ut a town in Maine;
but. not arriving in time, young Blaine
was put forward to take his place. He
likened his situation to that Of a farm
er who had a horse for which he asked
$500. A horse trader offered him SIS
for the animal. Its q devil of a
drop" said the farmer. but I'll take
It," The story and the speech that fol.
lowed greatly pleased his hearers.
Il Blaine went as a teacher to
Kentucky he was the target Of many
questions as to his antislavery views,
One lady asked him:
would you marry q nigger?"
Quick as a flash he retorted:
mo, ma'am. Would you"
Of an absurd Inauguration prayer he
wrote that it was "incomparably the
best ever addressed to the senate OF
Maine."
People who pray to the Deity will |
appreciate the delicacy of the sarcasm, |
In his speech against granting am
nesty to Jefferson Davis Mr.. Blaine
said that the failure to punish Davis
and h penalty visited on an underling.
WlrZ, the c"ommandant at Anderson
vile prison. seemed like skipping over |
the president, superintendent and board
OF directors in the case Of a great rail- |
road accident and hanging the brake
man of the rear car"
In relation to General Buffers plan
OF a %greenback currency, which Blaine
declared "may indeed never be called
In for redemption" the Maine man re-
lated a story.
A gentleman in his state having fail
ed posted this notice over his store
door: 'Payment suspended for thirty
days." A neighbor passing by said to
him, "You have neglected to date your
notice." "Why, no." said he. II did
not intend to date 1t. 1t would run
out If l did"
"And So" concluded Blaine, "the gen
tleman wants to issue a legal tender
that never runs out"
During the ensuing presidential cam
paign Mr.. Blaine spoke one day at
Athens. O., when the platform broke
down. An immense audience was
present. and the alarm was so gen
eral that women and children were IN
danger of being crushed. Blaine was
the first man up. Mounting or az
edge of the rostrum that had not gone
down, he waved for silence and in &
voice that could be heard easily hy al
the multitude cried:
"Thero is always enough OF & Re,
publican nlntfnrm left to SfInl on"