The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-03-17

where is that sugar barrel. ma
dame7 Where Is that sugar barrelT
exclaimed the genial Pa Jones, excit-
edly, as he rushed down cellar and
then dashed up again. What have you
done with it? Have you been chopping
1t up to start the fire in the gas stove?
Have you been giving, 1t to- the Smiths
for an ash receiver? Why don't you
leave things alone? Why don't you
keep your claws OF Of my personal
property? You can't keep anything In
this house! You can't even keep your
temper! II you don't"
what is the matter with you now,
you amiable old groush7" interrupted
Ma, with a fierce glare at the palpi-
tating Pa. What makes you act SO
heavenly? What makes you act 50
much like a yap-faced Jones?
WHAT"
What do you suppose is the matter
with me, sweet angel7 What do you
suppose Is the matter with meY' broke
In Pa, explosively. Cant you see that
l am agitated? Can't you see that
am hot In the collar? Can't you see
that am mad7 Where is that barrel?
Why don't you confess? Why don't
you plead guilty and throw yourself on
the mercy Of the Court! Why don't
yOu-r"
What do you want that barrel for,
you silly sinner" queried Ma, with a
quizzical look at her lord and master.
What do"
There you go again, Mrs. Jones!
There you 60 again." was the shoutful
rejoinder Of the steamful Pa. You are
just like Smith! You ask more fool
lsh questions than sewing societ-.!
You spout more Irrelevant talk than
dude debate! Why don't you pause
and consider? Why don't you stop and
guess7 Why don't you stop the rattle
OF your tongue so that you can hear
the buzz of your wisdom wheels?
Would any thoughtful person think
that / wanted that sugar barrel to
make a see-saw for your dear mother
and little Fido? Would any person
capable Of conjecture imagine for one
moment that I wanted that sugar bar
rel for a watch charm? Not on your
life, lovey-dovey! Not on your life
They would know at once that / want
ed to use It to make snowshoes They
would know"
Snowshoes!" CALCULATED Ma, with
amazeful emotion. Have you gone
real batty7 Are you jogging along the
dafry route? What in the world do you
want snowshoes for? What
You are certainly the limit, ma
dame! You are certainly the limit"
was the barkful response of Pa you
have got civil service examiner beat
en- a mile down the boulevard! What |
do you suppose want snowshoes for7
What would any sane man do with
Can't you hear the beat
tiful white splashing against the win
dow panes? Can't you hear the wind
bowling like prating political orator?
Didn't you read the weather reports?
Don't you know that snow is going to |
be pileu up around here tomorrow
like the gold surplus In the |
treasury? Haven't you heard |
Of the Laplanders? Haven't you heard
Of the Greenlanders? Don't you know |
that they cannot sachet along the
snowful in society slippers! Don't you
know that they have shoes big enough |
to dodge patent corn cure? Why don't |
you improve your mind and get wise?
Why don't you put something solid in
your dome that gossip cannot crowd
out? Where is that sugar barrel?
Where did you say that"
For heavens sake shut up!"' shout
ed Ma, wrathfully. You make more
noise than the crows In your Cousin |
Hez's cornfield! l should think that
you would be afraid that your talk
would wear out your teeth! should
think that"
Never mind what you think, wom-
an! Never mind what you think II
Numbered Pa, In sizzful voice. your
opinion doesn't, cut any ice in the coun-
Gil! You can't Susan B. Anthony this
convention! want that sugar barrel,
and I want it quick This snow bust
ness is getting deeper every minute,
and I don't purpose to dig my way out |
of this happy home when can walk
out! don't purpose to-"
LOT course you don't, You sap-headed
hero" said the indignant Ma, with
considerable heat. you want to make
a monkey Of yourself You want ev-
erybody to know what a beautiful
lunatic you are! But don't you think
that care! Don't you think that l
am going to sob for you! You will
find your barrel In the cellar where
you fell over it dozen timesl You
will find 1t just where you kicked it
for revenge when You bumped your old
bald pate on the beams while carrying