Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-05

pulled off his coat and found the other
dangling down his back. For moment
he was beaten. Then he flushed I'D and
exclaimed:
Eyes, but why in thunder didn't YOU
discover it this morning? 1 heard some
fellers guying me on the street at noon,
and I'll bet it was about that dangling
suspender. Mrs. Bowser"-
"What else has happened?" she inter-
rupted.
Take look at this necktie, will
you? Is it a necktie or piece of tarred
rope?"
''There you are again. You couldn't
be satisfied to drag out an old collar,
but you must get necktie to match.
What do you do such things for?"
Don't lay it on to me, and don't
think to bluff me-" he sternly ex-
claimed. Woman, there is such a
thing as divorce, thank heavenw
"But If you'd apply for one 1t would
turn out to be mortgage on the house.
Now, then, what else?"
"My socksm hoarsely whispered Mr.,
Bowser as he pointed at his feet.
what about them?'
His Eyesight Poor.
"Full Of holes, crevices chasms, ra-
vines. They have hurt my feet all day.
Look at them, guilty woman, and let
the blush of shame mantle your cheek"
He sat down and took off his shoes.
There We're holes in the toes and heels
of his socks. They were not holes
which yearling calf could have passed
through, but yet they were Of respec-
table size and only waiting for warm
showers to grow larger. Mr.. Bowser
looked at Mrs. Bowser with accusing
looks, and she ran upstairs and return
ed after moment with eight pairs Of
socks as fresh as new pins.
"They were right there in front of
your nose, but you scrabbled around
and got that pair somewhere she
said. care the complaints ended?'
Il left my eyeglasses on the table
this morning. You knew i did. The
cook knew 1 did. The blamed old yal-
Ter cat knew did, and yet the whole
caboodle of you saw me start out with
out them and never said word. I
had to go out and buy pair before l
could do any work. BY John, but
when think Of these things
Mrs. Bowser passed down the hall to
where his spring overcoat was hang
ing on the rack and, after feeling in
the pockets, came back with the lost
glasses in her hand and observed:
You'll put them in the letter box
some day If you don't look out. What
else?"
MIR. Bowser stood back and fixed her
with his eye for time and then point
ed down to his shoes and tensely de-
manded:
what do you call these?"
Shoes" she replied-"shoes with holes
in the toes and the heels all run over.
You put them on last evening when
you We're cleaning up the back yard,
and this morning you forgot to change
to the others. 1t was my fault. l
ought to go around looking at your
feet Will you please forgive me? The
cook missed fork and napkin after
you left the table this morning. Will
you look through your pockets for
them? 1 was going to give cook an old
corset today, but l couldn't find it.
Have you got it on? One of my night
dresses is strangely missing. Can you
account for it? My belt with the
rhinestone buckle can't be found l
don't think you could buckle it around
you, but you may be using 1t for a
stocking supporter. My last new shirt
waist
No One Loved Him.
Mr.. Bowser turned on his heel and
walked down the hall to his overcoat
and hat and then left the house. That
house was no place for martyr. Mrs.
Bowser was no wife for a martyr. No
one loved him; no one sympathized
with him. He instinctively turned his
face toward the river, but he had hard
~ cleared the gate when the weather
got her sprinkling pot to work, and
down came shower that drove him
under the nearest shade tree. He was
a martyr some more
He stood there with his back bumped
up and the water running down his
spine, and Mrs. Bowser never came to
the door to call him in and beg his
pardon. Indeed, as the rain came down
harder and policeman across the
street yelled to him to move on he
heard the guilty woman singing:
II would not live Away:
/ ask not to stay
a, nry.n