davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-06-03
An Iceman's Retort.
From LippineOtt's.

FIUiH t-IppIIIV0tt .
In her daily alteration with the icenan
over the short measure he delivered, Mrs.
Jones one morning. rallied him. in half
angry good nature II don't see what
makes you so stingy with your Ice. You
know you can't take any of it with you to
the next world
The man paused with his hand on the
doorknob Yes. Mrs. JONES' he said,
but you must remember that II you was
to see me coming with a block of Ice to
you In the next world you'd be so glad to
get II that you wouldn't have a word to
say about short weight"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-06-03
WhttsundaY Is Today.

The Feast of Pentecost, or Whitsunday,
the last of the great festivals of the &c
clesiastical year occurs To-Day. and viii
Is generally observed In the Catholic. Prot
estant Episcopal and Lutheran ct1urcnss
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-06-03

Chapel preaching is picturesque work;
but not a whit more SO than itineration
which. to quote a former missionary re
quires some nerve and great powers of
adaptation"
As has been said. the missionaries live in
groups in what are known as mission
stations. In order to carry on the work be-
yond the immediate environs OF a station
the missionaries make frequent and often
periodical trips into the country. This is
itineration.
There are few railroads in the empire
and these in the coast provinces so itfn-
Grafton is nearly always by wheelbarrow,
boat, sedan chair and cart The mission
aries penetrate hundreds of miles into Sc
cluded mountain regions. strike up strange
rivers, brave encounters with river pirates
and bandits. suffer all the Inconvenience OF
primitveness
1t is the aim of an itinerant to make
walled city on fair day In order to reach
the greatest number of persons in the short
est time. He becomes one of the multi
tude of street sellers and shouts his Bible
as Justify as his yellow neighborS do their
wares. When he reaches a village he sta
tons himself at the well. In all likelihood
as truly strategic position as it was in
Palestine in the time Of Christ and still Is
for that matter
In many respects itineration is closely
akin to circuit riding, which still holds in
certain sections of this country Indeed
some OF the BOARDS nave organized this
work Of late years into circuits, which are
covered at regular intervals.
Many of the two hundred odd missiona-
ries, Catholic and Protestant killed by the
boxers were itinerating at the time Pre-
viousiy missionaries were frequently stoned
and otherwise insulted. Only few, how
ever. were killed. and they by pirates and
bandits Since the boxer rising the old
feeling of security from violent death has
vanished. and the average missionary in
China has hanging over him the thought
that he may be called upon at any time to
give up life itself for his religions sake
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-06-03

growing number of theological seminaries
and colleges. besides a real university in
Shan-tung province. under the supervision
of the PFesby terians, North. But the form
of work that impresses the people most
with the principles of the new religion is
medical, as carried on in the hospital and
the disPensary One of the best known
missionaries In the field today is authority
for the statement that more converts are
made In the hospitals and dispensaries than
by all the other methods of activity COM
bined. The pioneer American hospital was
established by the Presbyterians. North.
Chna's first medical school was founded on
the initiative of the great Ii Hung Chang,
after the famous English medical mission
airy, John K. Mackenzie, had affected a
cure of LIS wife, lying at the point of
death
OF course whenever and wherever O. mis-
sionary gets two or three Chinese together
there is instruction in the precepts of Chris
tianity. A patient in the hospital Is told,
for example, that only through Gods mercy
has the doctor been given power to cure his
fellow man. Every mission station has it's
separate religious classes for men and
women Religious literature is distributed
Dy the million pages; in 1905 the Chinese
Tract Society distributed nearly 600 600
books and tracts-ffteen and a half million
pages Oh ecciesiastical and seculaD reading
matter China holds literature In great
homer; hence careful attention is paid to
this form of proselytizing
Literature is distributed by the mission
Oh ick, tiiSii HdtlNS feilerS ana BlDle Society
colporteurs. 1t is sold loaned or given
away, according to circumstances Fa-
Vored places for wholesale distribution are
tea shops, fairs, the gates of government
examination halls and the street chapels
The street chapel Is a novel missionary
institution. 1t is usually centrally located
shop, temporarily vacant and rented for
period of evange,istic work. The mission
airy and his little band strike up a song
1t is heard by the throng passing the door,
curiosity leads to the gradual filing of the
room. No prayer follows the singing; the
audience would flee, fearing witchcraft
The Scripture reading is very brief and the
missionary begins to talk. simple as abe
The talking. however, is not all on the
part of the white man. Peanut vendors
stand in the doorway of the chapel and call
their wares. Friends stationed on opposite
sides of the little room noisily recognize
each other and engage in animated 'conyer-
sation. There is much pipe lighting and not
infrequently an opium smoker breaks out
violently.
But the missionary does not get discour-
aged; he has become Injured to the ingen-
ious Chinese way. After he has persisted
in saying what he started out to say he
drinks tea with his auditors engages as
many individuals as he can In conversation
and otherwise busies himself selling copies
of the Bible. Thousands of Bibles are sold
yearly
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-06-03

Missionary work In China is unmistak-
ably institutional. There are today schools
for poor boys and girls. where the three
RS are taught; kindergartens, libraries, In
dustrial and training classes, blind asylums,
boarding schools for picked students and a
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
CABINET CHANGES.

.,....r,. C.r.elto, has made
-. ..,-.
RAPID rl'e Ifo" STEMS = '''' "
Itary Of The treasury lite must oe ii
man Of ability or his earlier progress
w,aia nh nave been 70 rapid He
49,. a-a..a.,r. ,riy,+s
''"u - '''''s ~
secretary before L's ? i''ie N9'e
orally known In fact probably before
he had ever decided himsei jo "a'eh
Ipary he belonged When he Was maae
secretary Of commerce and labor ana
later became Chairman OF he Repa5.
l.can excessive committee he round p
necessary to state thar he wa he
publican So we see his elevation p
the cabinet Was not reward TOR party
sguc'
Blu afterwards he rendered SER
VI e that pa q 10. The aoaa g b had re
lceived He. mmandat The success .N.
side in Tho ggaa paaHca. victory
ever won III The United sta ana
was moved up q peg a.aaer-Eo the
postmaster g neraish.p Sow H@ tafs5
r posi- ion hat TIA, hra a.arH been
considered inferior .a rank onIy 'o
that of secretary Of state and taat
inferior TO none l1 imp ftaAce.
t'aduestionably Mr. CorieIyou rep.
resenta corrupt politics du i ls only
the corrup ion hy which THE president
was elected II since rha insurance of
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
DEMOCRATIC TICKET.

For State Treasurer,
N. l.. PIOTROWSKI
For state superintendent,
CAROLINE GROTE.
For University Trustees,
DANIEL r. CAMERON,
JOHN S CuNEO,
CLARA p. BOURLAND.
For Congress,
]. NJ. JOPLIN.
For State Senator
SIDNEY y. ESPY.
For Representative
RICHARD p. POWERS.
For County Judge,
HUNTER BIRD.
For County Clerk
JOHN MtiLNlHlLL.
For County Treasurer,
MICHAEL 4. CAHiLL.
For Sheriff
ALEX. s. FRASER
For County Commissioner,
BAILEY ANDERSON.
For School Superintendent
MISS BESSIE NJ. TURNER.
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
lime CARD CAIRO ELECTRIC RYS.

BELT LIME ears due 10 leave Second ", yo-
Ing north ON Commercial Ave every 10 mia"
utes from 70. ~ to II p. M
GuiHg north on Walnut ~ etery 10 plnui o.
from G.tSu, o4 10 l0'ad y. m,
u 4PfAR 81. lime lInbrook Ave, cars
due 90 leave second IT. going notlh on hol-
brook ave, az 5;57; G;21; 6.i2; 6:5i; 7i2 a, m.
and on sans minutes eyeiy hour until l0A2
ana llil2 %, M, 90
Going west on Twenty Eighth st. at b;iei
6,lgt G.8l; 6:iQ; and 1905 q, m, aud on same MIN
utrs every hour until 1884 and lltoi p m
Poplar 80 cars due to pass 81. Mary's PARK 10
minute. at' or leaving econd ~,
NETT LINE OWL CARS norih on walnut
-it:9a q m 1924 = M; $50 O, M; 2;@ Il. mi
$3.50 o. m; A:3l a. m; $50 a. ~,
North on lommercgl-l2!t0 p. m. 100 a. mi
2;pl q. nl.; 500 q. m; 800 a. m, 3 n. m
Belt and Owl cars ARE due 10 pass West
Hhirt y-fourth ~. 10 minutes after leaving
Second St
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
ssntemher Circulation.

The above IS q cOTFeCI a0U VT0V
statement of the circulation OF the
Cairo Bulletin for the year 1905 ana
for the month Of September, 1906,
CLYDE SULLIVAN,
Business Manager.
Subscribed and sworn to before me
this first day of October, 1906.
fsoal) ALFRED COMINGs.
Notary Public.
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
More phlIadelphla - eoheols.

The board of education of Philadai-
phia has decided to- divide the city
into five sections, and to establish
high school in each Although Phia.
dalphia is the third largest ciry in the
United @rate5 in point oil population. IL
is tho twalty-.h.rd I'm number Of high
school students.
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
For school Superintendent.

MISS BESSIE NJ. TURNER author
ICES her announcement as the regil'
Iarly nominated Democratic candidate
for superintendent of schools of Alex
ander county, at the election to be
held on Tuesday November G, 1905.
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
Eor County judge.

HUNTER BIRD authorizes his an,
nouncement as the candidate for
County Judge of Alexander county on
the Democratic ticket at the election
to be held on Tuesday, November O.
1906.
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28

The gusIerin lis on saiS AE thn TOT
lowing places:
coIemsn's. PA Eighth stfsas.
Halliday House News Fssrs.'
Walkers, 20 Sixth street.
Biue Front Restaurant.
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
For County Clerk.

JOHN MULV1HILL authorizes his
announcement as a candidate Tor
county clerk Of Alexander county, at
the election to be held on Tuesday
November s, 1906.
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
ANNOUNCEMENT.
County Treasurer.

we are authorized to announce
Michael IT. Cahill as a candidate on
the Democratic ticket for the office Of
assessor and treasurer Of Alexander
county.
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
CIRCULATION STATEMENT.

Average daily and Sunday circu'
laton for the year l9O5.'..''''@I<9
Average daily and Sunday circu-
luton for the month Of Septem-
~ .2053
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
0FFIcIAL. DIRECTORY
car,, Ale<aos=r County aiinoi'
Population i6,14Y.

Cars, Alesao5Sr County tli'no''
Population i6,t4Y.
Mayor. GEORGE pAB6OH5.
Clerk, Il. A. HATCHER.
Treasurer JAMES QUINN.
Comptroller u. s DEWEY
Police Magistrate A. j. ROSS
Caief of Police, Nj. S. EAGAN,
Alexander County Population 22sd3.
County Judge, VIM $. DEWEY,
County Clerb JESSE .. MILLER.
Circuit 'lerk, LEE II DAVIS.
Sheriff, JAS. $. ROCHE
Coroner, DIR JAMES McMANOS.
Caantg Superintendent 81 schools,
FROt. JOHN SNYDER
Assessor and Treasurer, Ei.ANE u
DAVIS.
8oard Of County Commissioners,
GEORGE PARSONS.
Or. EDWIN }. CAUSE.
! ). JENNELLE, Chairm&p.
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
ILLINOIS ('E:NTpFL
Corrected TO October %, 1906.
TNE FAST MAIL RauTr
8hpYtss, avs cuiososs Eaaset
St. louis & Cities "a


I.32a. m. Daily CHICAGO vesttbale L'nl ed
arriving ia Chicago st 1l;S0 q. N c1Hnaf ing
with afternoon trains for 81 points east snd
north
2:23 Il. n. Daily 81, T,uu.4 Nigh. i1-.t ite9
arriving In Ut. Lo1iE sc Ina 3 H., @-rrs sins
10 Union station 'or ell palma ws3i. S'f ring
cara open st 8:+f p. N,
500 q, 70, CbI>asn D. Newt ~ y ss
Ycart Sunday, n'aa.ns al f'urs r s',,es iro
q CaicAu0, a~vivipE ia Ch'caso 81 $50 M
300 q. M. ~, r.@vie moruiov TX vBa
rcfpt sunday, s-riyiue IN st. LcnisF l':W
uakinE al stops
It.15 d. W. -. outs Fsat Mail. ar
ne IN Sit. Louis 81 $500 D. M
his a. IN. Chicago Mld~sfES Spe -lal
arriving fu ChtCsro, $3.50 p. m.
ptG5g. n. gsaj}v 50 Lone Limited ar
living Il 70. Laais At ;b5 p. N, connect
ynion stGti0n FOR Kansas City, 0ro2ha, leua
YER San Kranreeo an6 all points vast,
2:85 .. IN. Afternoon Fypreaa for dim
Enngngui. Nation Tolons, Champaign. Chi.
rAro
S:tG y. u. Hhehag accommodates.
T:I5 y. NJ. Chicago ami ERstsvTa RI,
a~ars srviqirt IN CHICAGO a. $50 9. m Inc ANA
SpoWs T;a5 Cincinnati, T:sG 5. M, BIT fF&lo ,;2B
y r7. Nea York 1850 @. 10 sleepi-4w cas-
Jtichgo,
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28
souTHERN DIVISION

CHE CELE DIRECT LINE 10 gEHs P~ua
NASHVILLE Oh AT~ps NGO'EA 4.
IkbTA. JACKeCHVIIIH. -
YAsNAB VTCFaBuRI
and JhCEpONV rLLF,
> 81 a, N. ''Ths Dizts Flyer Eg kis
n sabviiie aud Isakson~in8,
$40 N. Memphis suo He~ 079Nar7 Elil
a -ia Hen@his arriving ia <aflpals gas
T. n srd New Orleans S:3r e., ~
500 Il. NJ, PsducRd and naisville
LA T., m, daily, Hs1lpy ~ and New Or snI
7sst Met arriving IN Iev JhlE 81 T:f5 p ~ ana
Sew Orleans AZ $50 .. n
IA p. m, daily, Ma nyills, ChatssDot aand
Atlanta.
500 pm. Lonpbi4 pn8 Esw O74e@as pscIs
srvive q 4eIdphis vt i!f0 D. "a, View Cf lsa
gs25 s.. n. ~
5:55 p N, PS6ucsn sNA .Nr'' ,sftle. ~sT
40 For through tic%ets, aiaeDlns cor ~ oorai
.odsti0na Snd further Information zo3y a.
Illinois Central PssrauRsr Station, loirt II.
J. n. -iCNEa. ? ciSe. .Agt
.. -. PATCT. n. r, A.
A.IH AHa0N Frssano sr TrkT0 Iaunr'
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28

N3a...- -.--ll IL "a u2
a. 2....-a IS o ~
NO 5 liet y IN
The Cairo bulletin., 1906-10-28

iatsfsst Paid "a Tins psss.A
The Washington times., 1906-11-12
ELOPERS HELPED
BY BOLD SHERIFF
Father With Revolver Kept
Off, Couple Married in
Locked Office.

kENTON, Ohio. Nov. i2.-Just as
Charles Kuntz and Miss Kate Mack
reached the courthouse here. after eIop-
jng from Kirby. ths father OF the girl,
who w1s opposed to their marriage and
had driven an old horse nearly tc death
in pursuit CT them. came Up. and. draw
ing a revolver. cried: III shoot ycu
both befcrs I'll let you marry
The father, who IS blacksmith, stood
IT. the doorway before the pair and
refused to let them so in. The sherifr
tc ok him aside while an attorney hur-
ried thc young folks into the sheriff 5
office ard locked the door.
Miss Mack is of age ard there was no
legal objection to the marriage, 81 JUS
rIce of ihe Peace Baldwin performed .he
ceremony in the shsrif's office.
Two policemen stood Nv TO prevent
trouble. md after the marriage the
pretty daughter threw her arms about
her fathers neck and begged forgive
ness.
Finally the father relented and gave
the bride and bridegroom his blessing.
The Washington times., 1906-11-12
SideHgf1tS on People and Events
That Make the NewS and History
FROG-IE THE -THROAi CASE
THAT BEATS ALL OTHERS

The effect Of mind on matter is
being discussed from every stand
point now. and the Commercial
Tribune makes this contribution to
the knowledge and wisdom of the
argument:
DR. T. ID. Crothers, of Hartford. re-
Gently declared that drunkards were, Jo
3 certain extent insane. In describing
some OF the delusions that are due 10
mental alterations, DIR. Crothers told an
a certain aristocratic lady" he said.
got possessed OF the delusi0n that she
bad swallowed a frog. Her physician.
reputable but prosaic man, pooh
poohed her trouble, and sne grew stead
ily worse. Indeed. at the end OF a
month II looked as II the poor deluded
woman was going - die
In this crisis an eminent specialist
was called in Having been fOrewaTned.
the specialist came prepared. He mad
in his pocket a tiny frog that he had
bought at a pet stock dealers.
THE specialist examined the patient
carefully, he listened with sympathy
TO her tale OF the frog hopping about
In her interior. AT the erd he said:
90 Madam, / am convinced that You
are right. There is every indication or
the presence within you Of some reptile
of considerable size Please swallow
this bolus.
.
and at the same time, got ready q
glass bowl She swallowed the huge
dose which made her cough and cough
tin the tears blinded her eyes, and the
physician. bending over her. gave a loud
cry as her paroxysm was at It's height
and at the same time plunged the frog
into the bowl and exclaimed:
' There, | told YOU! Look at thet.
'tThe lady opened her eyes. beheld
the frog in the bowl. and smiled with
relief and gratitude. Then, all or sud
den she turned paier than ever and
cried in a voice of anguish:
% oh. doctor. / am not cured. The
frog has left "A little one behind.
But this wise specialist was not tn
he stumped He put on his glasses
looked at the frog in the bowl care
fully Then he said. I'm a stern and
positive tone:
NO. madam; That IS an impossi-
bilitv. for this f-og is a male.
The Washington times., 1906-11-12
NO UNIFORM TYPOGRAPHY
ESTABLISHED FOR BLIND

The Springfield Union hopes Mrs.
William Zegle-'s magazine for the
blind will result in the fixing of a
uniform standard of Typography for
the blind. 1t comments as follows
on the rich widows charity in sup
plying the money for the book:
Because Of the great cost Of printing
IN raised characters only limited mum
Der of books have been heretofore pub
ssshed and the blind will greatly aDpre-
ciate Mrs. Ziegler's splendid charity The
magazine will contain the news OF the
day. short stories from the leading per
iodicals and contributions from blind
readers themselves.
Unfortunately no common typogrRph-
ical standard exists for books for the
blind, 30 there viii be the extra expense
OF printing the magazine IN the two
systems most generally used So much
attention is being paid 10 the work OF
educating the sightless that IL is strange
a uniform style Of Typography has not
been adopted. II is a subject TO which
attention should be given. and the new
Ziegler magazine may accomplish some
thing in that direction
The Washington times., 1906-11-12

adequate clothing and a comfort
able home. Even if he is merely q
hired hand, he fares far better
financially, morally. and physically
in the country than he could rea-
sonabiy expect TO fare in the
metropolis.
Spite of all these advantages
which most young men in farmin2 g
districts cannot or viii not appre-
ciate-the drift is inevitably city
ward. So it viii probably continue
to be until some day hard times
shall suddenly descend upon the
land. They viii furnish lesson Sc
terrible that even the back districts
viii take it seriously to heart
The Washington times., 1906-11-12
DRAMA OF GHETTO
FOR ARION SOCIETY
Interesting Play Presented
at National Rifles
ArmOry.

The Concert" a drama by l. Ii
bin. a prominent Yiddish playwright.
OF New York. was presented at the
National Rifles Armory last evening
under the auspices Of Arlon Society.
The proceeds from the play go 10 the
Washington Hebrew Relief Society.
The play. which is one OF a series Of
entertainments 10 be given during the
season by Arion Society. proved inter
esting 70 a large and enthusiastic aud
ienCe.
The plot OF THE Concert" IS interest
ing. \ poor poet wOTships a maid OF
the Ghetto who spurns his love for that
Of a rich suitOr. In this the girl's 5
mother gives her approval. while the
father and brother oppose the rich
wOoer- The man OF wealth jilts the
girl, who leaves home % become . con-
cert singer IN which role she wins fame.
The poet finds her and renews his OffeT
Of marriage and is accepted.
The company presenting the play
Largman's Yiddlsh Stock Company. Of
BaItimore-was capable throughout.
Miss RafTalo. as the Yiddish concert
singer. Miss Rose Rather. as her moth
er. ana 4. R0senthal as her father,
were well received.
ArioI Society will hold a grand ball
al the armory next Monday night.
The Washington times., 1906-11-12
NOMINATED AS JOKE
CANDIDATE WINNER
ReFublicanRunningf Sher-
if Only One to Garry
Montour Co., Pa.

DANVILLE. Pa. Nov 12-His n~
ination for sheriff in Montour county
was a SORT of a joke and his cam
paign was not considered serious. but
D. & Williams. OF DauvilIe, was the
only Republican elected IN Montour
county.
Williams Is slater by occupation.
and 'Di. Williams, the slater" was the
slogan OF his campaign 1t was carried
into every district in the county BY
Williams. who Travelled on foot. and
who won his victory without money
and with no campaign expenses
Opposed to him was Calvin ShultZ. a
prosperous West Hemloek township
farmer who made a vigorous cam
paign. Every one said il was easy for
Shultz bat Williams refused To give
up. and We + the butt OF a cigar al
ways i'll his mouth. buttonholed every
voter IN the county. going particularly
after the workingman's vote ana get
ting II
He carried every ward in Danvilie
and ia his home ward, the Second. hs
had Il plurality of 2d7 votes. the largesL
plurality ever given a candidate When
the ballots We're counted il was found
that Williams had secured 1887 votes
against 1.12S for Shultz
The Washington times., 1906-11-12
ANON"
MAN SCALPED BY INDIANS
DESCRIBES WHAT HE SUFFERED

Unless Uncle Sans troopers keep
very busy with the Ute Indians out
West, the probabilities are that the
redskins viii go after the whites
scalps. To be scalped, however, is
not necessarily fatal, a fact which
may be a comfort to Wyoming
people at present.
\ man who was scalped and still
lives 10 tell about Il is. or was. In San
Francisco. His name IS Carroll Bronson,
a pioneer OF the selkirk mountains in
British Columbia. His face Is Scared
from arrow wounds received in Indian
aghts. and II he lifts his long. white
hair from the side OF his head he shows
a great circular scar extending from
above his right eye clear around the
right side and back OF his head almost
10 the left ear. That is where the cid
man was scalped.
1T was in 20 with the Sioux" he
explained, and It was the worst brush
I ever had with the Indians. They came
upon camp Of nine OF Us and one OF
them pounced upon me, seized me by the
hair and cut around my head where you
see this scar. Then he gave a sharp
wrench upward with his right arm and
laid the skull bare. / cannot describe
the pain il gave aid don't believe I
could have endured any more OF IT with
out dying. There IS no other torture
man can be subjected TO that will be-
gin 10 compare with being scalped
1T is a common belief that a man
can't live after being scalped: but I've
survived the experience. a matter of
thirty-tWO years and don't think I'm
quite at the end of my journey yet.
] know another man up there, too. who
didn't die under the scalping knife.
The scalp was torn completely of from
the whole top of his head, so that il
had 10 be constantly sWathed in cotton
and olive oil. He lived a year That
man knew what suffering means II ever
a man did"
The Washington times., 1906-11-12

c0oRKER
CON
CONDUCTED bT
AUNT oOTn

Motor etiquette Is as important to Pc
destrians as TO motorists. Aunt Dotty' !
readers have long been clamoring FOR
the "What-to-do" advice below:
When your auto oyerturns, leave
your seat at once.
Always carry a wad of chewing gum.
II will come In handy TO mend your
tire when 1t bursts
II your auto eXplodes. don't get mad,
just say 7 knew II was a bang-up ma
chine" and wait for the ambulance.
When motoring on Massachusetts, ave
nue. always make ii a rule to run into
some swell people. i: YOU survive the
crash you can speak OF these society
leaders lated, saying Il have me-
them"
Always carry a flask Of high-prooi
brandy with you. When your gasOlent
tank is low ou can ill 1t from the
flask, and II you feel low spirited. you
can also tank up from IL.
Too many ladies crossing the street
pause to see what the women in the
autos are wearing when they should
be making a mental note of the number
in order TO know what and who hit
them.
Il Is always considered good form
when you Kill man 10 send d card
Of regrets 10 his widow, because Il
wasn't her fault that her husband goi
in the way and he is too dead TO apol
agile.