The Carlisle independent., 1906-08-30
.JOHNFIENRY ON GREAT MEN.
 By HUGH [GBORGB ". HOBART

Peter, and like a flash the inspiration came to me and I arose in my seat and said: Ladies and gentlemen. after man reaches the age of 40 he is a seldom -happener, and after he gets to the age of 60 he is a dead rabbit and it's the. woods for his.
 What was the result, Uncle Peter?
 Every man in the world felt that was his personal insult.
 Every man over 40 listened to what said and began to yell for the police; and every man under 40 realized that he would be over 40 some day, so L? began to look for rock to throw at me.
 Il had them, going and coming.
 Then the newspapers heard about 1t and where formerly in their col umns was nothing but dull and harm less war news, my picture began to blossom forth like the flowers that bloom in the spring, tra la.
 Pretty soon, Uncle Peter, every man, woman and child in the world began to know me and I couldn't walk out in the public streets without be- ing snap-shotted or bowed to, or parked at, according to the age of those present
 "Of course, we all know, Uncle Peter, that my theory has wormholes all over it, but didn't make good?
 We do not need a book of history to tell us that Julius Caesar was over 40 before he ever saw the base of Pompey's statue; that Brutus and Gas sius were over 40 before they saw chance to carve their initials on Caesars wishbone; that Cleopatra was over 40 before she saw snakes: that Carrie Nation was over 40 before she could hatchet barroom and put the boots to the rum demon; that Mrs. Chadwick was over f0 before she opened a bank account; that Jonah was over 40 before he saw a whale; that President Roosevelt was over 40 before he saw self-folding lion: that Kuropatkin was over 40 before he learned to make five retreats grow where only one retreat grew before: that George Washington was over 40 before he was struck with the idea of making Valley Forge a winter resort. and so forth, and so forth, world with out end
 But these suggestions only prove the rule, Uncle Peter, and the rule is this:
 Some advertisement now and then
 Is relished by the greatest meni'
 Don't worry, Uncle Peter, because you are getting to be a has-was.
 You may do something in your old age which will make people think less of you than they do now-you never can tell.
 With these few words I will leave you, Uncle Peter; wishing you as much age in the future as you have had in the past. Yours with love, WILLIAM OSLER."
 After getting this letter Uncle Peter began to breathe easier and two days later he was quite able to resist the desire to crawl under the bed every time bottle of soothing syrup ar rived from the drug store.
 Uncle Peter got very gay the day after Admiral Togo won the battle of the Sea of Japan.
 Fifteen minutes after the last Rms sian battleship had been cIapped on the cross-trees Uncle Peter had a let ter written to Togo.
 I am going to snow you a CODY of it, if get pinched in the act:
 New York, This Morning. ITO Admiral William Duffy Togo. the
 Japanese Crackerjack.
 Dear Togie:-Please forgive me fo- writing you these lew lines, but I have been through several wars myself and have witnessed how easy it is for a hero to take the wrong road anI walk unexpectedly into the cold stor- age department Of the public's esti nation. That is the reason I wish to give you a few points on the etiouette of being hero, which I have studied from observation in this country.
 Brave Togie: When you get home in Tokio or Yokohama, or Communi- paw, or wherever it is, keep the face closed. more especially in the region of the mouth, because the moment a hero begins to speak somebody will misconstrue what he says and get him talking politics when he only meant to say: Drink heartyi'
 'Clever Togie:-Don't oyer talk with an ambitious reporter unless you have