Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1906-12-29
@ ODD
Short tories

A Inc specimen OF the TAURUS III
bernicus made its appearance In the
Bow Street Police Court recently.
You ducked your head" said the
magistrate to Patrick Lane, who
charged Joseph Ksyansgh with shoot
ing at him in the Strand. Faith, and
did, your worship. It's better to bo
q coward for ave minutes than to be
dead all your lifetime
When the last Cleveland baby was
born, Mr.. Cleveland was asked about
the weight, which he gave as twelve
pounds. DR.. Bryant, who was present,
interrupted the ex-President to say
that the nurse had reported the young
hopeful to be an eight-pounder. We'll"
said Mr.. Cleveland, II know, for
weighed him with the same scales that
l use when l 90 fishing"
A so-called happy family" p. T.
Barnum used to exhibit consisted OF
lion, a tiger. a bear. q wolf, and
lamb, all penned together in one cage.
Remarkable a visitor said TO Mr..
Barnum; remarkable, impressive, In
structive! And how long have these
animals dwelt together in this wsyT
Seven months" Barnum answered,
but the lamb has occasionally to be
removed"
A man went into a drug store and
bought a bottle OF some patent stun.
which was advertised thus: mo More
Coughs. No More Colds. % Cents a
Bottle" Three days later he went to
the druggist complaining that his
throat was stopped up, and that be
could scarcely breathe. i've drunk
all that patent cough mixture" he said.
Drunk itF' yelled the man; why,
that's an India rubber solution to put
on the soles of your bootsr'
who ever saw perfect manT
thing. Every man has his faults. plen-
ty OF them" The revivalist continued:
who ever saw a perfect woman" At
this Juncture a tall. thin woman arose.
do you mean to say, madam" the
evangelist asked, that you have seen
perfect woman "Well, l can't just
say that l have seen her." the woman
replied. but l have heard a powerful
lot about her; she was my husbands
first wife"
One day while in Vienna, Paganlni
hired a cab to take him from the eon-
cert hall to his lodgings. When he
awoke the next morning he found the
cabman waiting for an interview.
what is itr' said Paganini. Excel
lency. l come to solicit a favor OF you.
am father OF four children. and have
the honor to be your fellow-country-
man. II you please. you can make my
fortune" what do you mean7" "Au-
thorlze me to write in large letters at
the back Of my vehicle these two
words 'Paganini's Cab" The must
clan consented, and six months after
ward the cabman was enjoying a com
Portable income.
A traveller in a sparsely settled dts
trict In Missouri came at midnight tc
a miserable little cottage He knock
ed on the door to inquire for place &c
, put up for tho night rs that you
. Tadf" came a gruff voice from within
NO" said the traveller, "open the dool
a minute, want to ask you some
thing" The bolt was drawn, and I
. man looked out sleepily into the dark
ness. ~ thought you was my boy
: Tad" be explained. "snd. snip m,
I, earsl here he is nowT A barefoo
youth came painting out Of the shadow
with his arms full Of shoes OF vsriou
sizes and colors- Get anyr asked thu
] man. "Yissar. Seven Of 'em tonight
+ and two OF EN- Is pair" "Good!'
+ the man said. you see." he added
. turning to the traveller. Tad can max
a noise that sounds more natural lik
e a tomcat than any cat in this country
e He just goes into the village and yell
s under the windows about this time Il
e the fall" And you get shoes enouel
J. for winter" the traveller finished
= Stranger" said the man. solemnly
r 81 can see you amt no fool"