The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-09-23
He TAUGHT HER
TO PADDLE

| one, snapped justin style, depOSltna
himself on the cold. hard brown stone
steps Of the boarding house, Satur'
! day evening u haven't been arguing
! with an interurban ear nor starting
The furnace for the landlady' he
I gruwled, in response 10 the anxious
! inquiries of the assembled boarders,
But you look it," insisted Miss
| Spent, handing him some candy and
a sweet smile.
I've been spending my halr-holi-
day teaching girl to paddle a
/ canoe" he confessed and then sat
back to watch the girls look jealous,
and the other men sympathetic.
Next time a girl tells me she is
simply dying TO learn to paddle I'm
going to pay all the funeral expenses.
! but I'll never let another in my canoe
! II | die bachelor" he continued. "A
! canoe is the one spot on earth where
] it is good for man to be alone
The girl I was with to-day had a
lump of red-gold hair. and nifty
/ bunch of white ruffies around her hat
that made every girl on the horizon
! look as worn-out as Canadian on
May 25 The other men on the boat
| kept sizing her up until felt so lucky
( at having made a hit that | was as
important as a sporting editor at q
ball game
But | knew what | was up against
the minute we pushed away from the
canoe shelter. She was trying to live
up to the daintiness of her attire aud
she took up the paddle as though IL
were teaspoon at a pink tea In less
| than three minutes | had mentally re-
peated the prayers for the dying. re-
/ signed myself to the inevitable ard
rejoiced in the fact that hadn't paid
my board bin yet
In spite of my coaching, we kept
going around In a circle until felt as
though | had been living in the Elec-
trio park swing for year, and when
we finally got Strengthened out for a
minute, we hit the bank with a thump
that might have started another
quake in Frisco
1T bumped so hard that several
cushions-some of those | paid for
by many theater tickets and boxes of
candy-went into the water, and then
she got mad because when ! fished
EN- out insisted on slowing the
wet, bedraggled things in the boat.
my skirts will be sight she
walled and in trying to tuck them
around her ankles ran the paddle
SO far up her short sleeve that she
tore a lot of the lace before we got
untangled When she went at it
again she grabbed the paddle as
though she were going to WELD it like
a broom.
But we got more water later on in
the game. She tried to force pass
age through stone bridge. and !
scraped my arms steadying the craft
by hanging on 70 everything in reach
Il tried to use diplomacy and get
her to change seats with me, but
well, say, did man ever get a girl
to do what was reasonable? During
the argument we drifted right into
the worst disaster of all II happened
to be another canoe which we never
noticed until it was right upon us. and
then the girl in my boat shrieked and
stuck her pad into the water send
ing us precisely the way she did not
intend to. | was just wondering if
we would walk or swim back. when
the other boat swung around. and
its def guider got ont of harms way
in wink.
Say. you should have seen those
women glare, The girl with me was
so angry and excited that her pompa-
dour was drizzling all about her face,
Her sleeve was torn. her hat at a
slant, and her inery rather the worse
for the water she scooped in with
every stroke.
The lady in the opposite canoe
had pompadour. but it was as slick
as a politician, and her shirtwaist had
something around the neck that
looked cool and simple. Her arms
were bare and ! didn't notice any
ruffles or rings or bracelets She just
grinned cheerfully at my girl and
said:
"'Oh, youll learn after a while
and noated past
Il guess my girl would have gone
TO the bottom rather than give up
the paddle after that We Jared the
foundations of two bridges until
thought the canoe would split from
one end to another She spattered
me. the cushions and herself very
impartially. and then she called me
brute for sitting still ana not swear
ing
II she had made any progress by
the time We got back to the boat
house couldn't notice e.. and I was
more occupied in estimating the dam
age than in soothing her vanity when
we landed.
j really think we should have
parted without row. though. if the
trimIookine expert had not passed us
on tho way out
she glanced At my companions
dampcned skirts, torn waist and fat
tened hat
Wear a bathing suit next time
she advised. and the way that red
headed LAZY Of mine Elared would