Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1906-03-01
UNCLE GID'S LETTER.


SNr~~NN-~N1~NINnr~NI~
Well, it has been quite while since
| wrote the News, although | have
plenty of copy in the News office | reck-
on, but | wanted to tell the News read
ers that l was going fine, got three
meals day, got new pair Of pants
bought some molasses and sugar wife
got my little granddaughter new
dress, and that me and wife are now
just as we were 80 years ago. All the
children are married except one red
headed boy, II years old, and other
plague taxed gals are trying to get
him. want some of You News folks
to loan me a gun and some ammuni-
tion and promise the Governor and
the U. s. deputy marshals won't shoot
anything in the shape of scab, but
them gals must quit prowling around,
casting goo goo eyes at that thar boy
of mine. aint a-going to have my
family busted up anymore.
Now, gals, the old man has raised
seven, four boys and three girls, and
they have all gone but one and you
can't get him, you hear my horn don
you? Your Uncle Gid is tired of Civ
ing up and means to quit. The other
day one little fisty thing came i'll trying
to look lovely and sweet. When she
sat down l said what did you come
for? l guess you want to see Charlie.
He aint here . Oh such looks That
gal aint been back. | guess she thinks
am an old fool or she is, one.
Well, sometimes | go to church. Not
long ago dancing quartette came
around and |, as a matter of course
like to have my curiosity gratified just
like other folks, if not a little more So
| went to hear them and see their per-
formance. Happening to sit down by
the side of little black eyed gal | said
to her Madam, | understand that
Charley is calling at your home tolera-
bly, regular of late and | want it stop
ped" She looked at me and her color
would come and go. Thinks |, gal,
I've got you. All at once she blurted
out that she wouldn't do it, defying
me to my face.
Of all the impudent sassy things on
earth do know gals are the worst.
We quarreled until the preacher began
to preach. | have not seen her since.
must have a gun or am ruined.
thought of calling for the militia to
protect me, but the devilish gals would
capture them, so that won't do. Wher
my last gal married few weeks age
and after we had fed our faces ON some
of wife's goodies, | happened to blur
out that the devil owed me debt ant
paid me off in son in laws and | inten
ded to tell the world about it, Dom
you think the rascal got my daughte1
to steal the copy so | couldn't have i
put in print Reckon she stole it.
can't find it, do know your Uncl
Gid has the hardest time of any OLE
man living to keep peace but folks will
get mad at me and scold me because
don't write up everything they don
like and praise everything they do lik
but such is the way of the human
family.
Now every little pug nose gal that i
hunting for feller will give me Hal
Columbia. Well, the purtiest WON
an l ever saw was a mad one and tina
is the reason some men always kee
their wives mad-they look so muc
better Men like purity women an
hence they spare nothing to make theI
So Now, gals, take warning, you
Uncle Gid has ON his war paint,
Here | am sitting by the fire, wit
in the kitchen washing the dishes
Aint it shame Down right robbery
| that s what it is if l must say it
| two old people all alone
Well, people will marry just certain
, Go it, gals, for | can t do nothing wit
+ you without gun. Somebody loa
' me one, will your UNCLE GID.