Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-07-13

When she has tried and found you game
Go up and offer her your name!
Your balance at the bank might be
slight incentive she could see!
If she decides your lot to bless
She won't be slow at saying, .Yes!'
AN OLD MAID.
To win maid of forty years
The quickest way, ii now appears.
To win wife by tempting Fate,
Is just to whistle at the gate!
Before her answer you can guess,
You'll hear her cry. "Oh. Lordy, YESr
Little Crackers.
Remember the Spring Fever ticket
and vote for Uncle BY" for president
The tug owners and their employees
have settled their troubles without a
tug of war.
It's the fashion now to slam some
body or something. Down with the
the-the-well, the umpire, for in
stance.
note by Kansas paper that miss
Maude Muller came home from EN-
poria last week, where she has been
dLtChuAh6 oChoOl. IlOW 10 yC, IhduuCs
and how's the Judge?
In the city there are three classes of
| patrons of street cars: The works,
the clerks and the shirks. The gas bill
| doesn't come down town. 1t stays at
home with father and works over
| time.
Perhaps the packers hadn't heard
of that 4,0O0-year-old cow just discov-
cred in the ruins of Egypt. although l
will depose and say that ate piece
of beef last week that fostered sus-
picion.
"Who killed Cock Robin" 81" said
Thomas Lawson, 81 killed Cock Robini
l did it with my little stylus! killed
Cock Robin" If Tom will kindly
draw nice, modest line around all
the announcement assay that he
really believes belongs to him, there
may be some use of the rest of the
muck-rakers continuing in business
but 1t is not certain. Let's get the
record straight before new potato
time.
An Illinois woman's attention was
called to some suspicious appearing
characters loading brass onto a ram
shackle wagon near the railroad track
She notified the railway company and
they gave her pass for life over the
line. A small Minnesota boy, walking
along the track, discovered broken
rail and at the risk of his own life
tagged the limited train and saved the
lives of the passengers. The railroad
company gave him $14. II that boy
doesn't turn out an anarchist, he has
an exceptionally good mother.
While up in northern Wisconsin re.
Gently, I met an old patriarch whose
father carried mail to Chicago wher
there were but four houses there
"Why didn't he buy some of the land p
was the expected question which
materialized. The number of men who
didn't Is great. In fact, one wonders
IL the majority of early settlers wert
not busily engaged in going to thu
primordial city and returning empty
handed just to prove to their ancestor,
that foresight is long way inferior Il
hindsight in this world. why didn'
he buy some of the land?" The an
swer in nine cases out of ten is: "H,
didn't have the price," which is tn,
reason more of us do not buy some o
1t to-day.
II the Chicago papers and som
magazines are to be believed, we no
J only need a pure food bill but larg
stout single for use on the concentri
of the trousers worn by certain portl,
gentlemen who seem to put makin
money above everything else il
Heaven and earth, not excluding tn
briny deep. Once upon a time Will
camping out with some boy chums.
was surreptitiously fed on gophe
meat palmed off for squirrel. Will
l did not particularly object to tn
dish at the time, my stomach rebelle
like sixty when 1t became cognizant Q
the joke that had been played upon Il
It is the same way with lumpy-ja,
meat. I may have slowed away sew
eral pounds Of it in my time. but no,
| that the muck hackers have put m
next, my stomach begins to crawfisl
I hesitate to say what st. Peter wi
do to man who will ask the presen
price for meat and then hand out car
s4ouI
q 1