Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-12
Pi-LimeS and Pick-TJpS

Il I-LlNlNS NAAW II lNM-UWS
Our Need
Yes this is the region of sunshine,
The land Of the breeze, balmy, soft;
| The cline where the summers eternal,
Where harvests are many and oft
Yes. cloudless our skies are, and lovely;
Our hilltops CLEAN green in the sun;
We boast of our climate and country,
Our year-around out of doors funl
SO sing the glad anthem all over,
And echo its stirring refrain
Then sneak up an alley and cuss good
For, oh, but this land does need raini
Sealskin sacques are SO costly now
that only seals-and chorus girls
wear 'em.
frisco society Is going in for skating.
1t isn't hard to get skate on there,
even in society.
Managers of crowded Y. w. c. A.
in the east have excluded all girls of 35
or over saying that they "need no
protection" Usually not.
Palm-Do you believe in telling for
tunes?
Pepper-No in making 'em.
Arnica is in great demand Just now
for those bruises obtained when the
fellows fell off the water wagon.
Fairy Story
Ed Howe, editor of the Atchison
(Kas.) Globe, writing from Japan says:
1--WE stopped at little seaside resort
and ordered beer for the rickasha (men
who pull the buggies) and tea for our
selves" The idea of a Kansas man, an
Atchison man at that, away from
home, ordering beer for somebody else
and tea for himself! All who believe
that, stand on your heads. p. S.
Hop tea?
If Wos y Gil doesn't bob UP In santo
Domingo about now it won't be so bad,
after all.
IT want you to understand I have
something to do besides life insur-
| ance," declares e. H. Hartman. Is
that something" the public?
A man with call from on high" ran
for mayor of Buffalo and got 515 votes
On high must have rung up the wrong
number.
A Mystery
Miss Orange-Was he disappointed
in love?
Miss Lemon-He married.
| An Evansville, Ind, man, while drink
ing out of his soup bowl, nearly swal-
lowed a pearl valued at several hundred
dollars. If he had been eating with a
spoon he would not have found the
pearl
1t is to be presumed that when any
girl from Kentucky gets married she
sheds bitter tears if any paper Is so
forgetful as to fail to call her belle"
Maybe Santo Domingo is going on the
stage.
Mrs. Pineapple-Have you been out
playing poker again?
Mr.. Pineapple-No. m dear; am in
$25
A New York man secured divorce
because his wife tickled his feet Had
she tickled his vanity all would have
been well.
The Road Drivers association has
dropped Hearst. Maybe the members
think he is too fond of driving his own
political band wagon.
A New Jersey preacher has been
made a special policeman-probably so
he can slumber when his flock goes to
sleep.
Some 10000 Russian prisoners have
asked permission to remain in Japan.
They've learned wisdom!
PIums-On what grounds did you
fight?
Prunes-Battle grounds.
New York spends 81, 100000 a day on
booze. No wonder it is pleased with
itself.
Merchants hotel barber shop, w c.
Date, prop. Up-to-date work guaran-
teed or whiskers refunded. Clean
towel with every shave.-Advertiseme
in Dubuque Qowa) Theater Program.
Pitches Everything
Timothy" Nash, brother to your
scribe and one of the best ball tossers
in the country, has accepted position
with II. Station on his large and valu-
able ranch pitching hay.-Carbondale
(Colo.) Item.
Mars is several million years older
than the earth. That's why its canals
are finished.
Warped Wisdom
The ladder is only useful when 1t is
"up against it,"
You need no undertaken to be buried
in thought---or oblivion.
The unmatched pot boils over.
A woman with a pearl necklace sell
dom has a sore throat.
The cream of society is not neces-
sarily from the milk of human kind
ness.
All the worlds a stage-much of it
continuous performance.
Man wants but little here below--and
gets less.