Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-09-01
AFFABLE WOMEN RARE
Rudeness Hidden Under Mask
Of Pretty PoIiteness.
GENUINE COURTESY FOR ALL
Little Things Make Known the Truly
Thoughtful.
OBSERVATIONS ATTENTIONS
Quiet Kindnesses That May Seem to
Be Rudenesses, but Really
Spare the Victim.

| q queen Of women"
Because in all the twenty years I've
| known her I've never seen her fail to bt
| exquisitely courteous to other women
| You don't see anything remarkable In
| that, eh2 Thought every lady, every rea
| lady, was always courteous?- My dear Eel
| low, you don't know 'em. Study theil
| tricks and manners for forty years as
have done and then you'll agree with me.
| "Of course, women are polite in many
| superficial ways; they must be or there
| couldn't be any social intercourse. Rea
| courtesy goes deeper than the veneer OF
/ politeness. 1t comes right from the heart
| while most .politeness is only skin deep
| saw women do were really under the dis
| guise of politeress. Did you ever notice
| how embarrassed woman gets wnen an.
/ other woman calls her attention TO the Iac'
/ that there is something wrong about hel
costume q button unfastened or string
| showing, or the back of her skirt openl
| Woman number one VIII say 10 woman
number two, oh, my dear, your skir1
| needs fastening; do let me help you! NOW
| she fancies that her dulcet tones and or
ficious manner are making great impress.
| sion on the men around. but not Tor mine!
always want to say 'Me-o-o-u-ow! wnen
I see such catty kindness. For II woman
number one really wanted to DO the oecen'
thing, she'd speak in the most unobtrusive
way to the other woman and let her make
her own repairs. True courtesy never
plays to the gallery or tries TO get INTO the
| limelight.
Her Dearest Enemy.
.'This woman you were so surprised to
hear me call q queen Of women always
goes about her kindnesses in the quietest
sort of way. One of the most gracious
things I ever saw her do happened In her
own house one afternoon.
"A woman who really was her dearest
enemy came in and Joined the circle
around the tea table. She took chair
that faced q most trying light. noticed
at once that she looked every minute OF
illusions. She takes precious good care to
achieve such illusions. too, and succeeds
so well that though I've known her some
time was shocked to see how old she
Now the hostess had every reason to
be glad to show her up in an unfavorable
light, for there was an ancient feud be-
unfairly treated. II she had been polite
in merely the ordinary way she would have
said, oh, Mrs. Dash, that light is so try
fngI Do take this other seat!' thereby To-
revelations the light was making. In
stead, she exclaimed, oh. Mrs. Dash. dc
want you to see my new water color over
the piano. Won't you sit here so that
"By this move the guest took her seat
In the shadow Of a rose-colored curtain
and Immediately looked fifteen years
younger. I tell you I almost loved the
this maneuver and I know at least two
other men in the circle who felt as did.
That's only one instance of her exquisite
tact could tell you OF lots Of others.
Of loyal, admiring friends7 Talk about
mans inhumanity to man making the
angels weep; woman's courtesy to woman
must make the them 2, sing whenever they get
The man was unfortunately only too
truthful in his observations. So many
women fail to live up to the best they
are capable Of In their relations to other
women. They will show. Jealousy and
spite family covered up by little polite
nesses and think that because they kept
the form OF the social requirements they
have been beyond reproach.
short-sighted Policy.
How few girls there are who generously
share their men friends with other girlsI
Many Of them think. If they don't say 1t,
"Oh. wouldn't have George meet Ethel
and really come to know her well for any
thing It would be all over with my
chances! This Is very short-sighted
upon George. but If she had she only
shows by this ungenerous attitude quail
ity of character that will do her more
harm than good in the opinion of said
George. Moreover, though she never real
ICES this. it shows a lamentable lack of
confidence in her own attractions. And
confidence, whether in the field Of battle
or Of love, Is the first requisite for sue
cess.
Nine out Of ten women will smile sweet
ly on the man whom they crowd past in
the narrow aisle of car and seem gen.
timely sorry for the annoyance they are
yiyyfn PIIf a mt c11nh uaaf
beg pardons" when they are crowding
each other. Instead. there are scornful
glares and muttered remarks far from
that these little discourtesies are not no.
ticed by any except their unfortunate VIC
Tins, they are as much mistaken as the
ostrich is who is sure he is invisible when
his head is in the sand. Men do notice
these things and they count a whole lot
against girl.
Sometimes to be truly courteous instead
Of pleasantly polite takes a deal OF cour-
age, moral courage. 1t Is SO easy to say the
thing one knows Is expected rather than
the thing that will ultimately be the kind
est. Suppose woman axis friend to tell
her whether q certain color is becoming to
her and says How do you like this new
frock? 1t cost g lot of money do hope it's
becoming" How much easier it is for the
look lovely; the gown is charmingr' than
to say, 'If were you should never wear
that color" 1t takes courage to speak the
truth uuQer SuCn circumstances, DuC true
courtesy will shrink from hypocrisy.
AS for the meanness which leads one girl
to tell another that she looks lawfully
stunning in yellow. such an artistic color.
you know" when really the misguided crea-
ture looks as II she were in the throes of
1aundice, this cannot even pose as a polite
>fib; it deserves to be called by Its real
name, an unjustiflable lie.
Her Feet on It.
In Pullman car the other day a woman
who looked as II she ought to know better
deliberately planted her feet on top of
handsome travelling bag belonging to q
young girl in the next chair. The supply of
footstools had given out, most Of the occu-
pants OF the car being women, and she want
ed one; the bag was square and Of conven-
lent height. therefore she coolly appropri-
ated 1t and made a footstool of It. Natur-
ally the young girl was indignant when she
discovered what was being done 10 her bag.
But even In her wrath she was more cour-
teous than the woman who merely pushed
the bag toward Its owner without word
Of apology.
At a house party recently young woman
was urged to play the plano: the request
was started by one Of her friends and Of
course the other guests politely Joined in
and begged her to play. The hostess. how
ever. not only remained SILENT but skillfully
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