davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

of me smeller, like a fly cop, l sed,
fussing me face in the place where the
Black Moustache ought to be:
Mister Lawson, you need a Word
Plumber. There's a Leak in your
catch basin. Give me the go-ahead
bell and I'll put you wise"
Then l told him the whole story.
He give his cigar a couple of mad
dog bites and then he takes me by the
shoulders and SEE, swift but kind as a
missionary:
"Humpty, you're a good boy. By
CAD, you're worth any two men l
know. You can play Croquet in my
Cemetery Lot any time you want to-"
Then he hands me a Ten Spot, right
off the roll in his overalls, and tells
me to come back in three hours.
| went III on the street looking for
a Bank to do me Private Business
with, and swelled up so Mud-rich that
1 couldn't feel the sidewalk, nor tell
the Apple Woman from Little Eva.
| was Johnny-on-the-spot when the
three hours had went down into the
cellar of the clock to take a Rip Van
Wrinkle, but the Boss was at the home
plate with the bat in his mits when l
sailed in.
He looked Absent Bug for a minute,
like a travelling man wondering il he
a trust the chambermaid with the
watch he left under his pillow, and
Sed:
"Humpty, they say it's wrong to
send a boy on a mans errand, but
don't know a man I can trust, so here
goes. / want you to go over to New
York tomorrow night and take a let
ter to Mister Rogers. The job must
be DONE. Secretly. If anyone should
get wise to your trip, or if you fall
down on any part of me instructions,
it will nurt me more than can make
you understand. You must deliver the
letter to the Main Squeeze himself,
and talk to no one but him. Do you
think you can do it,"
Sure as Roosevelt" sez l, 'fre
away"
st will be necessary" sez he, "for
you to be next to the contents of the
letter, so listen Hard:
81 think it would be worth a lot OF
money to Mister Rogers to have me
Stop doing something that I'm doing
and am sure we a Both make more
money by playing the Game together.
l will write the letter 81 to make him
Wise to this fact and all you have to
do is bring back his answer. 1t will
be Yes or No. and if it's Yes he will
tell you a day, hour, and place where
we can meet. If he should WEIGH on
Me and print the letter you must be
ready to tell the Boston newspaper re-
porters that a man what l will tell
you how to describe come to your
house at 10 o'clock at night, give
YOU the letter and instructions, and
told you | would phone you at the I'm.
perial hotel in New York at 8 in The
morning. which, of course, I won't do
inhaled all that the Boss handed
me and blew out of me Cigarette Chin
ney what was Chop Suey to me Rea
son Works.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

The next night it was Humpty to
the Pullman.
I had a catechism Of = time seeing
Mister Rogers, but about 8 in the
afternoon l was sQuirted into his Office
by a Morgue-face Nut what must have
had P~aris-green Prunes for lunch.
Bleeding Biscuits! but Rogers has
got a great Face on him. It makes me
swallow hard when I think of it In the
dark. / onct saw a oil picture of a
white battleship shooting at q black
torpedo boat in q night storm. That's
Him, all right.
He took me letter and told me to sit
down.
He looked at the bottom of 1t, then
at me. He read about half of it and
slipped a Naughty Grin like a business
man telling his wife she don't under
stand Politics. Then he ct up the rest
of it; and, Great Bumps! I could just
see the sailors inside of him bringing
up shot for the guns.
l was getting set to soak him in the
watch chain with me head if he come
for me when the door opened and in
comes the Original Human Church.
His Steeples was as bald as a Fly's
Heaven. If l was a mosquito I'd be
ashamed to take the money. Rogers
give a swift, private-code look into the
Cathedral Windows, and sed:
Mister ROCKEFELLER, read that
Curish Dastard's latest insult"
His Steeples took me letter cool as
a prayer book and read it through
twict without a Bark. Next he takes
off his glasses, as slow as if it was
Sunday Afternoon and forty miles
from church. Then he looks up, slow
ly opens his Talk Factory, and SEE:
mister Rogers, won't you kindly
step into the mex room?"
They went out, looking like a
Marble Monument and a Sea Serpent
going to drown their Mother-in-laws,
and closed the door behind them, but
the wall vas only dinky glass and I
could hear them fine as a phonO-
graph.
Rogers touched of his cannon
first, and seq:
Il have kept Mum as long as / am
! going to. That Brass-beaked vulture
has reviled me till Every String in
me Harp Kisses with Hellish Pains.
The time has come to go after him
with all our guns. The public are
amazed at our Tabbycat Silence and
think us prison-guilty of the charge.
AS evidence, consider those doings
in Kansas and the bunch of search
me Investigations recently ordered.
THAT stuff of Donohue's won't melt
the peoples ear-wax. Nothing short
of a Real Thing Reply, hot from my
own Personal Gas Range, will satisfy
them, and stem the dirty tide which
this Boston Boaster has started
humping. I'll admit that Ice House
Silence is dignitied, but when it is
had at the price of public confidence
it is too much of a Luxury for me
palate. You must release me from
my promise not to talk"
He spelled like a actor and |
marked down in me nut every fat
word he sed, SO l could hand it to the
Boss right.
CTO BE CONTINUED)
Copyright, 1905, by G. w. Dillingham; Coz
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
DOCTOR CURED OF ECZEMA.
Maryland Physician Cures Himself
DR.. Fisher Says: "Cuticura Rem
edies Possess True Merit"

"My face was afflicted with eczema in
the year 1897. l used the Cuticura Rene
dies, and was entirely cured. | am a prac-
ticing physician, and very often prescribe
Cuticura Resolvent and Cuticura Soap in
cases of eczema, and they have cured
where other formulas have failed. l
am not in the habit of endorsing patent
medicines, but when l find remedies pos
sessing true merit, such as the Cuticura
Remedies do, 1 am broad-minded enough
to proclaim their virtues to the world. l
have been practicing medicine for sixteen
years, and must say l find your Remedies
A No. l. You are at liberty to publish
this letter. G.. M. Fisher, NJ. d., Big
Pool, Nd, May "a, 1905"
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Cures Blood, Skin Troubles, Cancer,
Blood Poison-Greatest Blood
Purifier Free

If your blood is impure, thin, diseased,
hot or full of humors, if you have blood
poison, cancer, ~carbuncles, eating sores,
scrofula, eczema, itching, risings and Jumps,
scabby, pimply skin, bone pains, catarrh,
rheumatism or any blood or skin disease,
take Botanic Blood Balm (B. B. b. ac-
cording to directions. Soon all sores heal,
aches and pains stop, the blood is made
pure and rich, leaving the skin free from
every eruption, and giving the rich glow
of perfect health to the skin. At the
same time b. B. B. improves the diges-
ton, cures dyspepsia, strengthens weak
kidneys, Just the medicine for old peo-
pie, as It gives them new, vigorous blood.
Druggists, 81 per large bottle, with di-
~rections for home cure. Sample free and
prepaid by writing Blood Balm Co, At.
lanta, Ga. Describe trouble and special
free medical advice also sent in sealed let
ter. B. B. B. is especially advised for
chronic, deep-seated cases of impure blood
and skin disease, and cures after all else
fails.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
NE AND
LAWSON
By RICHARD WEBB
Illustrated by W. w. Denslow
and M. Aleshire.
IN SIX SECTIONS
SECTION II.
Scrambled Oil.
opyright, 1905, by G. W. Dillingham; Coz

Scrambled Oil.
The first day l wore the Lawson col
tar | put a patent leather shine on the
Tonneau of me Pants setting outside
of his private Scheming Vault, looking
wise.
| must have made q hit with him
from the jump, because he kept me
sticking plaster close all the time. |
did me best to catch his pitching and
railroad the guys he didn't want to
mouth-organ with.
There were a couple of Roof-garden
Robbies in his Office Chorus what |
called the White-spat Sisters, because
they dressed in tandem and rushed the
same Acterine. The word Leaksky was
printed all over their Face Plates and
[ put 'em on the Slippery Elm Card
from the start.
1t wasn't long before l caught them
pulling the bung out of the Boss's Sc
cret-keg. and it was Me to the Pinker-
ton solo.
| swan into the Boss, just as he was
having a careless picture of Himself
took for the magazine, and after
breathing heavy through both barrels
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Municipal Telescope.

Cardiff is the first place to cater for
its amateur astronomers by the pro
vision Of q municipal telescope. This
instrument, which has just been dedt-
Gated to the public use. is q fine IL
inch equatorial reflector and was be
queathed to the citizens by the late
DR.. Franklen Evans. The city council
has borne the expenses incidental to
the suitable disposal of the gift. which
is erected in an observatory outside the
city.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Actress Ad.

BY way of advertising herself thor
oughly, a Viennese actress sat for 70
days in a glass cage, taking nothing
but mineral water, of which she con-
sumed 60 bottles. Meantime she stud
led the new part in which she is to ap-
pear shortly. Crowds were in attend
ance at all hours, for the cage was
placed on the Prater. On coming out
she declared herself to be in fine condi-
ton, but she speedily made away with
a hearty repast of fish, veal and beer,
winding up with a glass of schnapps.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
The Efficacy of Yellow.

Deep yellow or orange-cOlored cloth,
as a covering for the head or as a lin
ing for the hat, is a preventive of sun
stroke. 1t is not the overheating of the
blood that causes sunstroke. 1t is
directly due to the effect of the sun on
the head. The blood may become
overEeated by exercise or by Overfeed-
ing or by intoxicants, and. with the
added humidity in the air. we have
heat prostrations" as a result, but not
sunstrokes. This preventive is a sim
pie one, and will admit of a thorough
scientific investigation. The yellow Of
the cloth absorbs. dissolves, neutral
ICES the destructive element of the
particular ray that is detrimental to
the brain.
An overseer in New Orleans com.
planned of very ver headaches in
consequence of being exposed to the
heat of the sun day by day. In COM
pliance with my request he lined mis-
hat, even the brim, with orange-col-
ored cloth. But q few days passed
when he said: II am thoroughly con-
WINGED of the truth of your theory.
At first l noticed the good effect, but
thinking it might be due to my mag
nation. l changed back to the hat l
had previously worn. Wearing it but
one day brought the old condition,
while. when changed again for the
hat lined as you suggested, the head
aches disappeared as if by magic"
He removed the cause, and thereby
removed the effect. These are merely
lessons which nature kindly teaches
us. Then while thinking Of ourselves.
let Us not forget the faithful dumb
animal-the horse. Better than 2
sponge and water (Which does not re-
tain its coolness) is a small canopy Of
yellow (orange-colored) cloth, slight
" raised above the head OF the horse.
and only large enough to act as a
shade to the upper portion OF the
head. There is no harm in using both
methods.
The skin of the face. neck. arms, or
any portion of the body long exposed
to the sun will change from q pale
color to q tan, and on this tan the
sun seems to have no effect. The
sun may beat on ~tan-colored skin for
days and weeks without any apparent
effect; it will neither burn 0 blis-
ter when nature does the tanning.
Did you ever receive the proof of q
photograph in q yellow envelope!
Why? Because the yellow envelope
preserves the proof just the same a.
the yellow covering of the head pro-
tects the brain. The brain is q SEN
sitive plate, just as sensitive as that
used by the photographer. 1t, too
gets impressions upside down quite
frequently. And, as has been shown.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Question.

The first slice of goose had been cut
and the minister of the Zion church
looked at it with as Keen anticipation
as was displayed in the faces around
him.
Oats as fine a goose as l ever saw,
Brudder Williams" he said to his host
where did you get such a fine one?"
"Well, now, Mistah Rawley," said the
carver of the goose, with a sudden &C
cess of dignity, when you preach a
special good sermon, l neber axes you
where you got it. Seems to me OATS
trivial matter, anyway."-Youth's Com.
paniOn.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Only Important Question.

Two men were disputing over their
respective churches. Finally one called
a neighbor who was passing and asked
his opinion as to which was the only
church in which to be saved. well"
said he, my son and have hauled
wheat to the same mill nigh on to 40
years. Now, there are two roads that
lead from u place to the mill-one's
the valley road, t'other takes over the
hill. And never yet. friends, has the
miller asked me which road ! took.
but he always asks: is your wheat
good?'
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Between Friends.

First Comedian-Did you score a hit
with your new specially?
Second Comedian-Did l? Why, the au-
dience gazed with open-mouthed wonder
before [ was half through. =
'.sWonderful! 1t is seldom that an en-
tire audience yawns at once STRAY
Stories.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
@m@ |
THE enormous GRO

The enormous crops on our seed farms
the past season compel us to issue this
special catalogue.
SEM THIS NOTICE TO-DAY.
and receive the radishes and the wonder
full Bargain Book free.
Remit 4c and we add a package of Cos
mos. the most fashionable, serviceable,
beautiful annual flower.
John A. Salzer Seed Co, Lock Drawer
K, La Crosse, Wis.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Didn't Want Much.

Once a tramp went up to the back
door of a house and knocked; a lady
came to the door. please, mum, could
you do q little sewing for me-" said the
tramp.
Eyes. with pleasure" answered the
lady. what sewing would you like to
have me do for yOu?"
Il have a button here; If you'll please
sew a pair of pants on to 1t, I'll be
very much obliged San Francisco
Chronicle.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Difference.

"Why don't you get up and give that
seat to your father. Bobby" repri-
manded the lady. Don't it pain you
to see him reaching for a strap
mot on a street car" chuckled
Bobby, but it pains me to see him
reaching for a strap at home."-Chi-
cage Daily News.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Brazen Client.

While defending q q s in court 1T
Carlow. ireland, the other day, an at
torney was surprised and grieved %
see on the feet Of his client q pair Of
boots that had been stolen from him
some time before.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

Fort Worth, Tex, Jan. 23.-Lindsay
Cooper, an aeronaut Of Clarinda, O.,
travelling with a carnival show exhibit
ing at Wolfe City, fell from his balloon
at that place, a distance Of 2,000 feet,
and. was instantly killed.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
chewed Their Health.

A newly married Swiss couple
climbed to the summit Of Mount Nora
for the wedding breakfast. The cham
payne was then found to be frozen
solo. So the health Of the bridal cou-
pie was chewed instead of drunk.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Carnesfe Library Burned.

Huntsville, Ala, Jan. 23.-The new
Carnegie library at the agricultural and
mechanical college for negroes at Nor
NAL, Ala, was burned Monday. The
loss is estimated at $25,00O. The blaze
started 1, ON the furnace.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

e L began
using Doan's Kid
ney Pills 1 was so
weak / could
hardly drag my
self across the
room. wa
wretched and ner-
vous. and had
b~ackache, bear
%ing-down pain,
headache, dizzi-
e S and weak
eyes. Dropsy set
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Rich, Juicy Radishes Free

Everybody loves juicy, tender radishes;
Salzer knows this, hence he offers to send
you absolutely free sufficient radish seed
to keep you in tender radishes all sum-
mer long and his great
sALzER's RIGA SEED BOOK.
with its wonderful surprises and great
bargains in seeds at bargain prices.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

in and bloating of the chest choked
ME and threatened the heart. l had
little hope, but 20 my untold surprise
Doan's Kidney Pills brought me relief
and saved my life. / shall never for
get t."
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Got His.

"There is only one ordained missionary
IN the world for 900, 900 heather, your ex-
"WelI, l got NINE" said the cannibal
chief, rubbing his lips.-Yonkers States
man.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

Frankfort, Ky, Jan. 23.-Ex-Con-
gresham Thomas Y. Fitzpatrick, who
represented the Tenth Kentucky dis
trict in the Fifty-ffth and Fifty-sixth
congresses, died in this city after a long
illness.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
ca the Wrong Answer.

The ~sluggard having gone to the ant, purr,
suant to instructions, had returned anu
was making his report.
watching the blamed things contin,
ually fussine over something or other, and
never stopping to rest" he said, made
me more tired than ever."-Chicago 1rlb-
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Can't Afford Il.

Dyer-Enpec says he can't afford to
keep a typewriter.
Ryer-I should say not, If he wishes to
keep peace in the family.-Judge.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
A Harmless Laxative.

If you must take a laxative, take a harm
less one. Lax-Fos does not grippe, therefore,
does not ~irritate. Irritation is what does
the harm. Price so cents.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

Taylor's Cherokee Remedy of Sweet Gum
and Mullen is Natures great remedy Cures
Coughs, Colds, Group and Consumption,
and all throat and lung troubles. AT drug
pists, Csc, soc. and 81 100 per bottle.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Lost His Cigar.

Hotel Ormond, Fla, Jan. 23.-Chas.
Hamilton, the sky pilot, fell 300 feet
with. his aeroplane here. after colliding
with a flag pole on the bath house near
the beach. The first thing he said
after landing was: Il have lost my
cigar He was unhurt.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

Necessity or ~avarice gives most men an
object IN life, and enthusiasm some few
Others but there are still quite a num-
Der of US who are being slowly bored to
death.-Puck.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Preferred Stock.

"She lives in P%ittsburg." -,
"What sort of stock does she come OF
"Steel. First preferred. "-Philadelphla
Bulletin.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

Only he that knows what it is to be
down can appreciate being up IN the
World.-N. 0. Picayune.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
Cardinal Gottf Dying,

Rome, Jan. 23.-Cardinal Gotti, pre-
feet of the propaganda, who has been
seriously i'll of pneumonia fer SOM
DAYS is diving.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

I am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago.-Mrs, dhos.
Robbins. Norwich. n. Y. Feb. II, 1900.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

An old bachelors idea OF a fool is q
man who attends his own wedding.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
A D~EspA1RING M
Weak, Nervous and Wretched From
Wasting Kidney Troubles.

MRS. Henry A. Reamer, Main and
Garst Sts., South Bend, Ind, says:
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
A Guaranteed Cure for Piles

itching, Blind, Bleeding, P~rotrudlng Plles;
DRUGGISTS are authorized to refund money II
PAzoO fails to cure in6to14days. oc
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

Many a man would fail to arrive but
for his ability to butt in.-Chicago Daily
News.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02
The Principle
and Practice
of Health *
By EDWARD B. WARMANl
tAuthor Scientific Physical Training. For
mer Editor Health Department
Ladies' Home Journal

The Color Of Clothing Affects Ones
Health-Black Clothes Transmit
Heat, But Absorb Light-Interest-
ing Experiment on Grass-Whits
Clothes for Summer Use-Yellow
Hat Lining a Preventive Of Sun
Stroke Why Tan-Colored Skin
Does Not acknowledgements
Find Orange Paper Valuable.
The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-02

II you have not given the subject
any special thought, you may well
wonder what connection there can be
health. The salutary influences of
solar light (not solar heat, merely
are not sufficiently well known to have
their therapeutic value appreciated.
The sun has it's effect, beneficially, or
otherwise, on everything in the uni
verse, the human body not excepted.
There are certain cases in which one
needs the heat Of the sun, but there
are many more in which the light of
the sun is of greater value.
Do Not Wear Black in Summer.
Black clothes, black hats, black
shoes. should be generally discarded
in midsummer land in all tropical
countries) when exposed to the direct
rays of the sun 1t is an indisputable
fact that, in the realm of color, black
transmits the heat, but absorbs the
light of the sun.
Ii you are obliged to ride, walk or
work while being exposed to the heat
of the sun, then it is a matter of grave
consideration as to the color of your
clothing. Danger and destruction Turk
in the heat of the sun, but not in the
light thereof.
Black is detrimental to the growth
of vegetation, as well as to the best
results of the human body. Some
years ago, in Detroit. Mich, l pegged
down a square yard of dark muslin on
a well-kept lawn, and by the side of
1t a square yard of white muslin. I
left them there during the month Of
July. At the end of the month l re-
moved both pieces. Underneath the
white cloth (Which had reflected the
heat but transmitted the light the
grass was as green and fresh as when
first covered. Not so underneath the
black cloth (Which had transmitted
the heat, but absorbed the light;
there not a single spear of green
grass was to be found; all was parched
and dead.
Fancy our soldiers and sailors in
Manila, or the people of India, or in
any of the tropics, dressed in black.
If you have doubts upon this subject,
sit in the shade, with your feet in the
sun some hot day, one foot in a black
shoe, the other in a tan. The
heat will soon convince you upon
which foot is the black shoe. One
ounce of practical experience is worth
a pound of theory.
Comparative Table of Colors.
Tho following figures (~Pettenkofer)
will give you a good idea of the rela-
tive effect the various colors of cloth
ing produce on the human body. when
exposed to the sun 1t will be seen
that white produces the least percent
age of heat; black the largest.
White, 100 F.
Pale straw, 102.
Dark yellow, 140.
Light green, 1876.
Dark green, 165.
Turkey red, 1853.
Light blue, 1913.
Black, 208.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-14

ST. MARES PRoCATHEDRAL {sixth street,
between Hennepin and Nicollet) -9:3o am,
holy communion; 1890 AIM rhorhing SER
vice and sermon By Vicar Haupt; evening ser
vice discontinued during July and August.
... LUTHERAN.
ST. JOHNS {chicago avenue and Seventeenth
= Eaast r snn5.v , Mo,nn g.
BETHEL lseventeenth avenue and Thirty Sec
and street s)-Rey Fl. P. Grimshy. Morning,
services at s. Sunday school at 8, Norwe-
CLAN and English. s1
EVANGELICAL ASSOCIATION.
FIRST (1s2s Emerson avenue N)-Rev. F. r..
holz Of st. Paul Evening, Rev. ". Knopp Of
the same place will preach. Rev. f. R: Plan
tikow, the pastor. has gone to Alexandria to
conduct a quarterly meeting. E
DISCIPLES OF CHRIST.
PORTLAND AVENUE CHURCH OF CHRIST
Rev: 2: ]: Rice. Morning.. The Quest for
Jesus Loved Miss Lawrence viii sing both
morning and evening. @' &
MISCELLANEOUS.
RE9RLEIRsv G. l: M, Morrill,; w. Morning mir
fa sons GOOD Ot ga u psnVA %
gatonaI Singing; one hours service, pegln'
NAzzRENE HOLINESS MISSION GAS First
charge Holiness massmeeting, 3 pm, with
sermon and testimony; $40 pm. revival and
song service; sermon on "Sanctihcation of Be
LEVERS; gospel services every night at $3.50
All welcome.
.-s~. ~- UNIvERsALlsT.
FUTILE MEMORIAL (Blaisdel avenue and
Twenty,seventh streat)-Rev. Bernard G. Rug
gles Morning, 1.-THE Message Of the Wind
Sunday school picnic at Como park wednes
cHGRoH OF THE REDEEMER-Rev. JOSEPH
X. Mason, ID. Morning, 'selfshness ant
| selfhood." Vacation Sunday school and pas
| tors Bible class at 1910. Subject, "Who Il
| My Neighbour n;
| CHRISTIAN SCIENCE.
Subject Of the lesson sermon for all Churche
of Christ Scientist, 'Truth."
| First church. morning and evening service.
| Second church. morning service only.
Third church, morning service only.
Fourth church, morning sevice only.