The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-05-12
For 1.-THE UNION.
THE LIVING DREAM.
BY FLORA STEWART EMORY.

Olnce ner ADVENT INTO the neWSpa-
per world she had become cynical.
She was given to analyzing charac-
ters, and finding so much that was
deplorable and unlovely in them that
it often spoiled for her all that was
worthy in a new acquaintance. There
had been such a shattering of ideals
since she had come to the busy city.
1t was this which made her think per-
haps she had better give it up and
settle down to something quiet in a
small town. Lately, the idea had
fairly haunted her, possibly because
she knew she had but TO stretch forth
her hand and take the honest, hard,
loyal one of a good man who stood
ready to give her a simple home in a
small Dakota town. This plodding
Scotchman in the North thought her
the most wonderful woman in all the
world, and the girls hungry heart
turned toward him now. After all,
would it not be wiser to accept of his
love? Perhaps, then, the memory
of the Other One might grow fainter.
She had met the Other One when
she was only eighteen, and they both
realized it was for all time. There
had never been any love making, for
he told her frankly he could never
marry. There was shadow, not Of
his making, which hung heavily over
him.
But through the two years of close
friendship they could not help the
meeting of hands and eyes, the touch
of a hand on the girls golden hair
when no one saw, and they felt they
could not forget.
Once afterwards, she had allowed
herself to become engaged, thinking
to forget, but she found the soul of
the man so coarse compared with the
sweet, gentle mauliness of the First
Love that she sent him away.
Men loved her, she seemed born to
be loved, and there was something
pitiful and almost grotesque about
her daily life, although she liked her
work aud was happy in it.
:. s..:a 49, a---a--. Ai..A
she must necessarily bring unrest and
a degree of unhappiness to others.
She had a months vacation, and
she was undecided whether she should
go North to visit friend, whose home
was in the village where lived this
good man of more honesty than cul-
ture, or spend it in the pine woods of
Wisconsin alone.
1t was a temptation to see this man
who loved her so deeply, and, when
she thought of long life of work,
she deemed it best to settle the ques-
ton at once. But when she looked
around into the lives of her married
girl friends and saw how full they
were of trials and heartaches, she con-
cluded to hug her sorrowful little 70.
nance and live her own life to herself.
1t had been five years since she had
seen the boy of her heart, and wild,
almost insane desire came over her to
find him in the city and surprise him.
She smiled to herself. She knew
Just where his Office was, and she
knew Just what he would say. He
would be pouring over his law books,
of course he was always so studious.
He would look up quickly, and she
laughed in low, musical tone as she
pictured his surprise. There would
be no one else there; she would wait
around until she knew he was alone.
He would take her in his arms for
one brief second and whisper softly,
"My own Alice !"
Then they would talk of the most
commonplace things, just like old
friends. His eyes were so deeply
gray; she could feel their love light
now, and it warmed her soul. She
would explain that she was going
North and might not return. She
would tell him, very calmly, of her
coming marriage, and then walk over
to the window and pretend to see
something of interest on the street
below.
Her coming marriage? "Dear
God !" she cried aloud. II cannot
marry !" She buried her head on
her arm and sobbed. 1t had been
many months since she lost control
of herself, and now the pent-up emo
ton of her heart overwhelmed her.
She clutched at her throat-it was
throbbing, and her breath came fast
and hard. A boys pure face rose up
before her, and she fancied he spoke
to her. Surely he was smiling and
telling her to be of good cheer. His
expression was so clear and strong,
just as he always looked.
1t was time for the evenings mail,
and she hastily brushed back her hair.
She was much calmer, and she felt
glad she had settled the question with
herself.
There was a letter for her. 1t
was in strange hand, rather cramp-
ed, and she judged the writer to
be an old woman with none too much
education. She was quite herself
again, analyzing and viewing things
from the external.
Finally. she broke the seal. AS
she read her face turned white.
"T0 Miss ALt6e B0Unzam The
doctors tell me I cannot live many
days, and I have sent for my son.
1 have known of his love for yor
since the death of his foster mother
took care of her, and was with
her when she told him why he could
not hope to marry. 1t was very
sad, and, had I dared, I would have