Los Angeles herald., 1906-11-12

eApects TO move to Defiance, where
1nere ere there seems to be n demand for
nrst class hand work, at which Mr.. Eek
is an expert. We regret exceedingly
that our citizens will allow him to leave
US Tor lack of patronage.-Antwerp (O)
Bee. VIZ
The foreign investments Of the Goulds
anu t,, vanderoilts do not seem to have
turned out very well.
Kansas authorities are now demand
ing that the weeds be cut along the
railroad tracks. If Kansas politicians
nave to walk they want a clear path.
III that $5OO,000,000 beef trust is organ
izeo In England, New Jersey will feel
like bringing a suit for desertion and
non-support.
Missouri has hog worth $1,000 and
rooster worth $780," SAYS a Kansas G'it,,
newspaper. 1t pays, apparently. to in
struct barnyard pets in the art of
saving.
II the Pulajanes prove to be as diff
cult OF assimilation as the Utes it NAV
Iake several centuries to complete the
job in their case.
Bernard Shaw, who has proclaimed
himself a greater playwright than
shakespeare, now sets himself above
Moses as lawgiver.
The new pure food law has no nro-
vision for the protection of the public
from theatrical hams.
Though the president does not VET
see now he can take another term in
the White House he Is willing to follow
his usual custom and send Taft,
If you are well satisfied with yourself
1t is pretty good sign you are not
satisfactory to other people.
Says the Washington Post: "Tbe life
insurance convention at st. Louis was
opened by prayer, which has long been
recognized as one form of life insur-
ance." Do you mean fire insurance,
Mr.. Post?
Lots of girls say kissing is had nrac-
tice, but they generally admire a man
who is proficient In the 9rt
The chorus girls may be relied upon
to vote as a unit against Senator
Beveridge's proposition to limit private
fortunes.
Latest reports from the ringside in
dicate that George Bernard Shaw didn't
so much as make the Ten Command
ments groggy.
Whenever you cannot think of any
other compliment to pay a woman, say
she is inimitable, and she will be
pleased. But why?
Twenty-three Again
The chicken grabbers have returned
to New Hope after quite an absence.
One night last week there was visitor
In Nv T. oaI- o,.I ILL.,
morning revealed the fact that twenty
three young chickens had disappeared
Staunton (Va.) Sun.
Maybe Bryan, in view of the result
in New York, is now sorry he spoke.
Birds of feather etc. Swallows
usually go with gay larks.
A newspaper says Fairbanks has
three degrees. Below zero?
A New Orleans man is named Guzzle-
much. He'd go fine in the Wiley booze
squad.
The auto makes the money go.
The tombstone engraver is the real
monumental liar.
Might sic Funston on the Utes; he
had no chance in Cuba.
The new Oregon senator is named
Cakes. Has he got the dough?
Will the new milk trust water its
stock as well as it's cows and it's milk?
CynicIsms
Many a man clothed in righteousness
is wearing misft.
There are. among modern girls, mora
bread winners than bread makers
Nature can't accuse many landscape art
lists of plagiarism.
Lots of men are considered wise because
they can't talk
Some angel cake is badly In need of
being converted again
Many a man who starts to do something
ends by doing somebody
II virtue dressed as well as vice, all
the world would be good.
Delusions are like girls-we only hug
the attractive ones.
A Miss is as good as Mrs.-sometmes
better
Many man would be happily wed if
it We're not for his wife,
Better kiss amiss than miss a kiss or
never kiss a miss.
II some men could see themselves as
others see them, they'd cut their own
acquaintance.
Many wife is blessng-in disguise.
What a wife doesn't know she suspects.
w. IL. G.
MotheT-in-law ION a visit TO her
married daughter)-"I have Just found
a bill for 200 marks from the china
shop. Have you and Frederick been
quarreling so much ?-Flieeende Blat-
4 Best Set OF Teeth 30.
" ! - ! ! Z: Z !:
~ DENTISTS.
Open evenings all s;sOi sundays to IA