The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1906-05-24

He MADE HIS BOW TO THE AUDIENCE.
hind the stove, and Samuel shin was
Informed that his bronchial cough must
either be suppressed or turned out of
doors. The reception committee then
proceeded 10 the anteroom and escort
ed the orator in
The Hon Johnson appeared to be a
man about forty years Old. lie was
wide between the eyes. baldhcadcd.
and his toes turned in. He was Il one
story man, built on the pattern Of a
cake of artificial ice-thc same breadth
all the way up and dowu-and his Sc
rious look showed that he had dclved
deep into the mysteries of life As he
made his bow to the audience he had
a closed umbrella in his left hand,
while his right was laid on his heart.
The impression he made was rather
favorable, though Giycadam Jones
whispered 10 Shindig Watkins that his
entire crop of cucumbers last year was
stolen by just such Il man.
"Outdoahs tonight" suddenly began
the philosopher, OAR am moonlight
Why? Why amt it dark as q black
dawg under de wood shed? What am
de moon composed of? What was it
hung in de heavens for? Whar does
it come from when it comes an whar
does it 90 to when it goes? If de moon
am a good thing, why not have it all
dc time instead of only half? If it
don't amount 10 shucks, why have it at
all? Did you cbber stop to ak your
selves desc questions, or have you sot
around on de fence an taken no inter
est in de mysteries around you?"
While most of the members of the
club were cOnfessing to themselves
that they had not attended to the moon
business with any great vigor, the
speaker drew long breath and con
tinued:
You wake up some night out of a
sound sleep. All am quiet. You can't
say what disturbed your slumbers.
You git outer bed. You don't know
why YOU do, but out you git. You 90
to de doah an look up an down. All
am as still as de grave. De ole wo-
man, de chilcn an de dawgs continncr
to sleep ON, but You put on your clothes
an step out into de night.
You don't know what for nor width
cr you am goin', but de fust thing you
know you have walked a mil" climbed
ober fence, selected de bigg st water
million in de patch and am on your
way home ag'in. How does de how
ness of de Wilderness come about? Why
do YOU eat half dat million befo' wakin
de family up? Why didn't you go de
odder way an sit on de church steps
instead Of toward de million patch?"
There were suppressed EXPLANATIONS
of Yum. YUM" among the old vet
Grams in the audience, but they also
shook their heads in a puzzled way
and whispered to each other that Mr..
Johnson was too deep for them
"a few evenings ago, down in Ala
bama," said the orator, as he got bet
ter hold on the platform with his toes,
Il sot in my study thinkin' things ober.
WI u lADNNt Slilitu. -NOl IL udNS ull-
der de bed sighed De world slept. OF
Il sudden | had Il fcelin' dat | was befn'
taken out of dis sphere an transported
into another 1t was Il Slumberous,
pleasant fcclin', an I gave up to it.
"Aftcr an hour had passed I awoke.
| was ont in de kitchen takin' off my
muddy shoes Asbag lay at my feet
and lifted it and emptied its contents
out on de foah. Oar was four fat
hens. l can't be suah jest what took
place when | was in de state spoken
of, but it's my belief dat | went up de
alley four blocks, climbed ober fence
and broke open Il white mans hencoop.
"Of co'se had de old woman make
potple of lie chickens, but will some
Of you tell me how de whyness of de