davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
Money and Crops.

Our industries and general business
are prosperous almost beyond pece-
dent, and everything wears a favor
able look except money itself, which
is steadily tightening in New York, and
therefore in the rest of the country.
Since September 10 gold to the amount
of S44.6O 900 has been attracted here,
hut even this does not enable the New
York banks to furnish money for legit-
innate operations and boundless specu-
lations at the same time. Their re-
serve is getting down to low water
mark, and securities dealt in in the
stock market are dull and dragging.
Secretary Shaw has of course again
been asked to come TO the relief Of
the speculative crowd. The speculator
wants lower call money, and he wants
time loans marked down, but above all
else he wants more money. 1t is he
who is doing the most of the squealing
at present But he is squealing with
out effect, for Secretary Shaw has de-
cided that he will neither increase the
government deposits In the banks, nor
will he redeem any of the 1 per cents
that become due next year.
The government has II free balance
900 900. and the men who are trying
to bull this, that or the other do not
see why he does not hand over a quar-
ter of the balance TO the banks. The
banks are willing because no interest
is collected from government deposits.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
Negroes Mecca.

You have no idea." said a resident of
South Alabama at the Hillman last night
with what a reverent regard the negro
in my section of the country considers
Birmingham. Birmingham is his New
York. and Il trip to the Magic City his
delight.
II was interested last week in a funny
incident that happened on hunting trip.
One of the gentlemen in the party shot at
a partridge and feathered it. The bird
flew across a little knoll, and there, We
believed. it fell. Crossing the hill We IN
CURED OF an old negro who was plough
ing as TO whether or not he had seen a
bird fall near him. The old negro looked
at us and smiled.
What bird. boss said he, the ore
that passed by here just now with his
tail feathers shot away
Yes, the very same we eagerly re-
joined.
well. boss the old negro said, IL
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
A Nuisance Abated.

"The quiet that has followed the sup
preston of the screeching monographs
and other musical instruments in the NOV
ing picture shows is almost oppressive"
said an observer at the corner of Twen-
tieth street and First avenue last night
"Why, a few days ago when these
things were in operation, one could hardly
carry on a conversation at this corner,
and several other places in the city. While
good music is never Objectionable any
where, we were getting most too much
of the kind offered and the public had to
take it good or bad.
Il am glad that the city officials have
seen proper to stop the racket. The pro-
hibition does no one any harm. The music
was probably very good advertisement
for the shows, but cutting it out places all
on an equal footing and the public is
benefited"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
Christmas Presents.

FOR the young man who, at this sea-
son of the year is in the habit of letting
his fancy turn lightly to thoughts of
holiday presents, it may be well to stop
and consider before committing him
self hopelessly to position calling for
serious giftmaling, for during the past
twelve months diamonds have gone up
at least 20 per cent. BY Christmas the
chances are they will be even higher.
But fortunately for those of us who
are otherwise unfortunate, diamonds are
not in order We have to stick to books
and flowers, the kind of presents that
don't mean much either way. Girls say
they do, but I have always had an ink
ling that in this they are not quite sim
cere.
For my part, I like these old TIME
presents much better than the giving of
jewery, even when you are sure 1t is
going to be kept in the family. The
well bred idea of Christmas present,
anyway, is simply a remembrance"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
Prlmerose as a Throat Specialist.

The throat of a minstrel singer is as
delcately sensitive as those of grand
opera artists. But George Primrose has
ishng cures.
Its no use, George" a silver-voiced
balladist will husklly whisper half an
hour before the curtain goes up. MY
throat's as raw as a Blue Point on the
half shell. l won't be able 10 sing a
note tonight"
'Well, that's too bad" replies Mr.. Prim-
rose, his honest face aglow with SYM
pathy. "a magnificent organ like yours is
rot to be trhed with. What you need
is a complete rest"
Il guess I'll be all right for the quar-
tette if you'll stand for me cutting out
the solo," protests the singer suspicious
~ and a trifle more distinctly.
"Not for worlds, dear boy answers
Mr.. Primrose, decisively. Il don't care If
the entire audience demands its money
back l should feel like a criminal if I
caused permanent injury to such a voice.
Take an absolute rest-one week, two
weeks, il necessary. When you are right
again, Ill put you back on the salary
list"
Then the balladist hurries around TO
black up and sings so delightfully."- that
he has to take four encores.
\ skilled specialist who makes the suf-
ferer say "Ah-a-a-a' and charges him $50,
is not in it for a minute with old Doc
tor Primrose and his magic throat cure.
Mr.. Primrose and his big company plays
an engagement at the Jefferson theatre
for two performances tomorrow afternoon
and night.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13

From the Philadelphia Record.
ours is one business in which there
are no women shoplifters," said book
seller Yesterday. I'VE are troubled with
shopifters. but they are all men. Women
don't seem TO have any time for book
stealing. It's remarkable how many thefts
we detect In the course of week.
'Visitors who look prosperous enough
TO buy whole libraries are often caught
abstracting II % cent book. l figure that
this is due to the great temptation. You
see. in book stores callers are given the
run OF the place. and are at liberty to
examine the stock at their leisure. man
picks up some little volume he may want.
and seeing no one at hand, the tempta-
ton to get something for nothing is too
much for him. He slips the coveted ar
ticle into his pocket. but We have wary
salesmen and most such offenders are
trpped up. Then they have TO pay for
the purloined volumes, and are warned
that more serious consequences will fol-
low any repetition of the shopliftinE.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
Warehouses for Cotton,

The coming cotton convention to be
held in this city in January will not
only represent the south in its best
endeavors, but it will have important
business to transact-business that re-
lates to every farm in the cotton belt.
The convention bids far therefore TO
become turning point. an historic
event, in our industrial affairs, for rep
resentative men from every cotton
growing section will gather here to
consider large questions concerning
the country's finest cash crop.
The executive committee of the
Southern Cotton association has al
ready taken preliminary steps TO Or
xanize a southern cotton company,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
Charming Picture.

"A charming effect in window decora-
ton is to be seen in one of Birmingham $
large department stores" said citizen
last night.
THE scheme represents the interior OF
girls room. Tho furniture is of an odd
design admirably suited to the purpose
and there is an air suggestiveness about
the display that reflects credit upon the
decorator and makes the whole picture
most pleasing.
"a pair of dainty satin slippers care
lessly placed on the floor and silk
petticoat flung across the rocking chair.
with girls nameless nicknacks IN
dainty confusion on the dresser, creates
the impression that the fair mistress has
just departed from her retreat and will
soon return.
mo detail has been overlooked and the
result is that most of profane eyes
stare curiously and admiringly into what
seems to be very abodte of femininity. "
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
JAMES LACEY, WHO'S DEAD.
Joke That Haunts the Obituary Col
umns of Indiana Newspapers.

From the New York Sun.
Indiana newspapers many times each
year in long obituaries record the death
of a man who never existed His name,
James Lacey, and the supposed place of
his death, Echo Knob, Ky, which is not
on the map, have become household
words Notwithstanding the fact that the
notice of Lacey's demise appears in the
regular death column, some folks always
laugh when they read it,
Col. William Penn of Terre Haute. a
railroad man and former Kentuckian. in
PRODUCED Lacey to newspaper men several
years ago. 1t came about this way:
Colonel Penn was sitting at his desk
one day reading the comic section of
paper in which an imaginary kentucky
duel was described. Three Kentuckians
We're pictured as playing poker. Suddenly
a fusillade of shots was heard.
Trouble, it seems" said one
Yes" said another, raising his eyes
and glancing out of the window, but not
missing his card play. MAT Downs of
Bowling Green and Jim Lacey of Echo
Knob are shootin up some"
The game proceeded, and after a time
no more firing was heard.
Seems to have blown over" said the
first card player.
Fact" said the second again glancing
out of the window
How'd it come out?" ventured the
questioner.
"Lacey's dead" replied the other coollv.
The card game was continued without
another word
The story amused Penn and was passed.
around to his associates. He had hardly
resumed work when a cub reporter
brushed up to him. saying:
ANY news today-colonei?''
yes replied Penn, James Lacey of
Echo Knob, Ky, is dead"
Who is hep" asked the reporter ca
gerly.
"A former employee of this railroad
mere SAID the colonel, earnestly "He
was murdered"
The reporter hastily drew out his note
pad, and to the intense amusement Of
the ofhce force. the joker related tho
killing OF Lacey, as told in the funny
sheet, carefully emitting the card play-
ers. Pug
The reporter, who was on an evepins
paper, by dint of hustling, caught his
edition and soon the town was reading
OF the cold-blooded murder. Editors Of
the morning papers wired Louisville for
more particulars, and We're Informed thai
no such town existed. They took no
chances of being beaten by their rivals
however. and printed the story anyway
On investigation they found that the
story was a hoax and it was quietly
cropped. The cub reporter nearly lost
his job and the tale leaked out, but was
soon forgotten.
After that every time q now reporter
came on the railroad run lie was told the
tale of James Laeey's DEATH but the
murder fea t11ras Ware cI;f Dtit IN auoi1
attracting too much attention. Editorial
forces We're small and changed frequently
and from time to time the account of
Lacey's death would slip by a new editor
or a hurried copy reader. The laugh
was always given at the expense Of
the paper or it's green reporter.
The joke spread among railroad men
throughout the state, and the story was
repea tedly printed by unsuspecting ed
itors. One paper only last week devoted
nearly half a column to the sad in
cident
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
ffI1N Y WIFE is going home for a
KVI visit tomorrow" remarked
Willard to a group of his

former bachelor chums.
You don't say!" they cried in chorus.
The Willards had only been married six
months, and this was to be their first
parting since the wedding day.
Yes" he continued carelessly, Il will
be at liberty once more and l am go
ing to see how it feels 20 be free man."
Good for you'll And We'll fix up for
little fun" said the bachelors. How long
is the madam to BE gomez
Two weeks"
Plenty of time for some stag dinners
and social session or two Really, old
man. you have been toe exclusive with
yourself here of late You need a touch
of the old life to wake you up
And so it was arranged. Willard saw his
wife off next morning with a feeling OF
SECRET elation which he was careful not
to show. Then he rushed to his office and
plunged into work. The ho'lr for lunch
rolled round and passed pleasantly enough.
AS evening drew near Willard finished
his office duties with a feeling that
he would be as full of mischief as
the liveliest bachelor of his acquaintance
could desire. He was determined to be
wicked
At dinner Willard laughed uproariously
at every Joke. 1t was witty crowd
and a devil-may care lot Once or twice he
caught himself wincng when the jest
was broader than usual, and he was sur
prised to find himself wondering If these
fellows, his boon companions on many a
mad lark, were really coarser than they
were in the old days. But the rich food
and succession of drinks soon disslpated
such untimely reflections 81 am having
the time of my life" said Willard as he
laughed immoderately at a story told
about well-known woman in society.
More drinks. cigars and reckless auto
mobile trip to a Bohemian restaurant fol-
lowed. Then the bachelors who had I'M
dertaken to show Willard good time"
while his wife was away, escorted him
back to the club for poker game 'just
like the games they used to play.
1t was o'clock in the morning when
Willard reached home. The louise with
its silent and deserted air sent chill TO
his heart. The frost of morning sobered
him and cleared his brain of liquor
fumes. His lungs were no longer filed
with tobacco smoke. AS he 1umbled at
the door a pang of remorse S, ot through
him and he looked back on the nights
revels with disgust.
What had 1t all amounted to? What
pleasure was there in such foolish ex-
cesses? Yet he had planned for two weeks
of carousing
Willard reached the bedroom--hs room
and hers. He turned on the light and
looked about. He had never felt so lone
ly and contrite in all his life. 1t seemed
year since morning. That evening at
the club was like a bad dream.
Suddenly Willard caught glimpse of a
pair of dainty, silk slippers which his wife
had left on the floor in the hurry of
her departure. Mute and appealing, they
stirred him strangely. A wave of tender
ness swept over him. He stopped, took
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13

But better than direct deposits would
be the redemption of the As of 1907.
But the outflow for the moving of
great crops will soon begin to grow
less, and if we keep a stiff upper lip
we will yet see the rates of money fall
to normal. The iron famine and the
shortages may stay with us, but call
rates for money will not stay at pre-
yailing figures when the demand from
the interior for crop-moving purposes
slackens. This will occur in the course
of the next thirty days.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
IMMORTALITY.

BY Matthew Arnold.
Fooled by our fellow-men depressed, out
grown,
We leave the brutal world to take its
way:
And. Patience. in another life, we say,
The world shall be thrust down, and we
upborn.
And will not then, the immortal armies
scorn
The worlds poor routed leavings? or will
they,
Who failed under the heat OF this lifes
day.
support the fervors of the heavenly morns
No. no, the energy of life may be
Kept on after the grave, but not begun;
And he who tagged not III the earthly
strife,
From strength to strength, advancing
only he,
His soul we'll knit and all his battles won,
Mounts. and that hardly. to eternal life.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
From the Ladies Home Journal.

From the Ladies Home Journal.
r. EVER lost art was represented by
a people it is the art of courtesy
l among those who serve the public in
New York City. Motormen, conductors,
cabmen, statesmen and even the police
men seem to vie with each other as to
who will excel in the art of bad man
ners.
Stand on a New York street corner, for
instance, and hail trolley; car after car
will whirl by you with the motormen as
absolutely regardless of you as if you
did not exist. Four of these cars rushed
by me the other day and I jumped on
the fifth, took my stand near the motor
man, and called his attention to four
women at the next corner whom he
passed.
Didn't those women want to get on"
l asked.
"They did," was the Illuminating an
swer,
Don't you stop this car when people
want to get on?' 1 continued.
II do when l think it's right-see?' he
answered, and then turning to me he po-
litely added, land l can do it without
your help, too"
Two blocks further up and policeman,
who had boarded the car, nudged the
motorman and indicated with side mo-
ton of his head man standing on the
crossing with two women, hailing the car
with one hand while in the palm of the
other he showed a quarter! The car
stopped instantly; the man got on the
front platform and as he passed the mo-
torman he slipped the quarter into the
latters coat pocket. The passenger took
next to him.
Pretty expensive, that sort of thing,
isn't it?" l ventured.
ut is" said the man, "but I've found
it's about the only way to get these fiends
to notice you, and I'm in a hurry
And so, 1 thought, it has come to this
in New York-25 cents to stop car and
cents to ride in it!
I went to theatre box office, and
Torrance and their location.
-Four dollars" came the reply as two
tickets were slid under the glass, win
dow.
Let me see the diagram, please" I
asked. II want to see where the seats
are"
Good seats" came the answer. Take
them or leave them?"
.'Ill answer that question, my friend"
l replied, when l see the diagram, and
I'll keep this line behind me waiting until
l do see it,
And then there was slammed down in
front of me the diagram, and the two
seats were back of a post, of counsel
THAT was the right thing to do said
a man in the theatre during the evening.
polite
"But why don't you New Workers do
it?" I asked
ooh" he replied ''we're hardened to
It. l guess. We don't expect polteness
here any more. It's dead art!' And
1t is 10 doubt of that.
A policeman put it well to me only the
other evening. had hailed him a good
night" as he stood on the corner.
..Thank you, sir; same to you he re-
piled. and as | caught his eye and stopped
he said:
Just a bit unusual, sir.''
"unusualg' asked
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13

that bird is still going like he was when
he sailed by here, he is just about now
nearing that forty=story building in Biz
mingham.'
THE negro evidently thought that Bir-
mingham was hundreds and hundreds Of
miles away"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

up the slippers and pressing them alter
nateiy to his lips. murmured, IT don't
know what will do until she gets back"
IN THE VALLEY.
Lift up your eyes, lift up your heart.
Lift up your soul in song.
A beam of light illumes the night,
he dawn will not be long.
THE world is getting smaller" says
contemporary. And louder
A Birmingham brewing company adver-
tises "cinders given away" A lot of peo-
pie will probably go round and get few
cinders just to see how it feels to have
something given them.
A SOLUTION.
If you'll but laugh
The time will fly on golden wings
And Love will lift the cares he brings
If you'll but laugh
If you'll but laugh
The world will wear a smile for you,
Regrets be far between and few
II you'll but laugh.
If you'll but laugh
The darkest clouds will roll away
And grim despair will yield the day
If you'll but laugh.
Busy times in Toyland
There is no American type" says a
British observer. How about Mr.. Hearsts
240-point.
One of the meanest men OF recent times
sprinkled tacks in wheelbarrow just
before he went to take fat man for
ride to pay an election bet.
WHERE?
Where lives the man with soul so dead
Who rising with an aching head,
Unto himself has never said,
'In drink no more?'
A faithful wife in Pennsylvania had ap-
pendicitis at the same time her husband
did
THOSE EXPENSIVE AFFAIRS.
In June they wed,
A man. a maid.
The wedding bills
Are not yet paid.
sporting editor of the Ladies' Home Jour
nal will enjoy much needed rest.
Vesuvius is another example of how
hard it is to quit smoking.
The trouble about being a boy enstor
is that you are not expected TO act that
way.
Girls for 1907" are being mentioned
Those who tied up with the 1906 variety
last June don't dare to appear interested.
WORKS BOTH WAYS.
How long and drear
Must seem this life
To one who hath
No little wife,
H.
How long and drear
Life must seem. too,
When one doth live
1t with shrewi
PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
PRESS POINTS

Savannah Press: Beckham has one
strong Kentucky characteristic He was
a colonel when nine years old.
Kansas City Star: New York took its
election almost as seriously as Chicago
took the championship baseball series.
Chattanooga Times: Congressman Wads-
worth of New York, of beef trust fame.
has been left at home, which is another
warning to the beef and other trusts.
Houston Post: A Minnesota man who
married widow month ago is suing
for divorce on. the ground that she
overreached him. There is no doubt about
it. The American widow is the overreach-
INCEST, understandingest and outpointing-
est proposition to be found anywhere.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
About Persons.

Lawrence II. Lee. supreme court report
er, arrived in Birmingham last night.
Mr.. and Mrs. Henry D. Waddell OF
Greenwood, Miss, were in Birmingham
last night, returning to their home from
a visit to Meridian. Miss
John SHELTON Williams of Richmond, ae-
companied by a number of prominent Cap
italists, will arrive in Birmingham in a
private ear over the Seaboard tomor-
pou
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13

The fact that one Alabama county
went republican is regarded by the
flippant northern press as a miracle
almost as great as would be the carry
ing of Vermont county by the demo-
Gratis, feat that has never been ac-
complished.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13

Senator Beveridge says no man
should be permitted to own billion
dollars. This is not considered new
attack upon the men of Alabama, for
not long ago we did not have in our
midst a millionaire.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13

Governor Johnson of Minnesota may
himself be a presidential possibility.
A democrat who can be reelected gov
ernor in a strong republican state
must be of presidential size.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13
ALABAMA PRESS

Mobile Herald The tragedy of the three
tars who died from drinking bay rum sug-
gests that the scope Of the pure food law
be enlarged to include barber shops.
Sheffield Standard; A Kansas man has
invented a machine for counting money.
II the present COW law remains In force
another month, the city of Sheffield will
need at least couple OF EN-.
Montgomery Advertiser: Illinois has
elected a new state treasurer and his
name is Smulski. We don't know what
the word means but it has a suggestive
sound. As his democratic opponent was
named Piotrowsli the voters seem to
have taken the easiest one.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13

The railroads Of the country are
capitalized at fifteen billion dollars,
and Uncle Sam would have to keep his
bond-printing presses running If he
proposes to buy them.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13

The ungrateful utes and the COM
ing of three unwashed chiefs to Wash
ington may have led up to the resigna-
ton of Mr.. Hitchcock from the interior
department.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13

Some American women buy titles
and some pedigreed dogs, and the lat
ter get the best bargains.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-13

When Mr.. Garfield becomes secre-
tary of the interior, Ohio and New York
will have a majority of the cabinet
five out of nine.