davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

SAINTS AND COTS WERE TANGLED
IN INEXTRIcABLE CONFUSION
venge. The sewed-up bottoms Of their
robes prevented their locomotion, and
ali they could do was to scramble to
their feet and tumble down again. fight
ing all the time like demons in bags.
Each thought himself the victim of
Joke upon the part OF his neighbor, and
was fully determined to get even for the
unsee enly meddling with ais sacred
probobscis.
Frightened at the unexpected work
ings OF his inventions. the clerk endeav-
ored to escape in the darkness, but only
succeeded in getting into the very midst
of the melee, where he speedily found
himself beaten and rolled on scandal
ously.
Two saints, finding that he had not
on a robe, held him fast and Shouted to
the rest. who speedily suspended hos
tilities. The lantern was relighted. and
in spite OF the struggles and remon-
strances OF the inventor he was held by
Two DTOlntft. Nulic Otupio ShdpPCu thc
nose holders onto his ears, nose, lips
and fingers.
A rope was produced, and. to the
clerks terrified eyes. 1t seemed as If
they were about to hang him. Strength
ened by fear. he jerked away from the
saints who held him. rushed against and
over two OF the brethren, and burst
headlong through the side Of the tent
wholly ignoring the opening provided
for egress.
As well as they could. the ascension
lists hoped and tumbled outside and
saw the clerk disappearing with the
speed Of a quarter-horse and shedding
nose pins at every jump.
Presently. he went out of sight in the
moonlight. in the direction of the Duffy
house. and the 81 bagged saints returned
to their cots to await the end Of the
world-Good Literature.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

struggle. The abyssmal brute was up
permost, and its strife was that of one
of the wild things that prowl and
snarl and leap in the jungle.
The strangers grayness gave way to
some inner illumination, and he fell out
of the ring. He pushed the clergyman
forward aud said, hoarsely:
you go first. Save yourself and
learn to teach men how to die" Then
he turned to the soldier you deserve
another death than this. Go next
But you, man-how about your"
"Oh, I'm only Jim Ruggles running
away from the law"
THE stage robert You don't
mean"
Yes, that's me. I've had many a
chance. You can have this one. Don't
waste a second; the car will fill with
an awful rush. Say, don't forget
There was the feel Of cold waters, and
the lights went out-San Francisco Bull
letin.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

lot the end Of the world, and they had
awaited its coming with all the anxiety
felt by spectators around a sick horse.
But as each date had failed TO witness
the interesting event. they grew appre-
hensiye that it might walk in upon them
al any time.
All day long their ascension robes
hung on handy nails, and at night they
slept in them.
In order that the rush of wind, con-
sequent upon so many people going up
al once. might not blow their robes up
over their heads. the garments were
sewed together at the bottom. making
OF each long bag with sleeves In it.
When the clerk, with his half-bushel
or so Of nasal-pinchers. arrived at the
big tent, just before midnight, he found
81 saints sleeping within, each in his
ascension bag. and with his face up
turned to the dim light of the solitary
lantern. The inventor fairly hugged
himself with delight at the fiattering
prospects Of a successful wholesale ex-
pertinent.
AS nOiselessly as a spook, he tiptoed
from cot TO cot. clasping the compressors
on the bills Of the saints
He had hardly retired to the pulpit,
to watch the effects Of the experiment,
before the inventions began to get in
their particularly fine work. The
mouths Of the sleepers few open in one
grand snore. moment later, the
pinehing OF his beak aroused one of the
more wakeful sleepers, and finding his
nose in the grasp of some imaginary
demon. he sprang up in alright
tumbled down. and knocked over and
extiuguished the lantern.
The rumpus aroused the others. who
feeling their beaks in the clutches OF
something. and thinking that at last the
long expected occasion had arrived and
Satan was already endeavoring to drag
them on leaped up with loud cries, and
endeavored 10 rush out where they could
go straight up without having to cut
holes in the tent
In moment they we're all down, and
saints and cots were tangled in mex.
tricable confusion. Then, as It dawned
upon each that the object upon his bill
was large clothes-pin, he forgot his
desire to ascend in his thirst for re-
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

call Of a whistle. There was a sudden
bump and wrench, and the three men
came to their feet simultaneously.
Good God. breathed the clergyman,
and the soldier blanehed under the ugly
red Of his scar. The third man rushed
to the platform. followed closely by
the other two. There they we're met by
a sheet of flame spreading upward, and
the raucous scream Of a departing en-
gine.
The baggage cars have caught fire
and they have uncoupled us, cried the
stranger as he caught at the molten
brakes; then in a stified voice he said:
The air brakes have collapsed. We
can do nothing and the chances are
that the bridge has given way"
The clergyman stood on the first step.
ready for a plunge. Man." cried the
others. are you insane? You would
be dashed TO death at the speed at
which We are gOing."
There is but one chance"
The soldier and the divine elung de-
spairingIy to the last hope. and their
eager eyes pierced the darkness for a
sight of the speakers face. BY pow
erful thrust they found themselves
back into the coach and heard the slam
of the car door. The interior had be-
come furnace. The insensate mass
gathered momentum as IL slid down
the incline TO the bridge below. The
mems faces were drawn into centuries
of horror at the hideous fate ahead OF
them Nevertheless, the man Of God
sank into the nearest seat and covered
his eyes With true martial instinct he
had discovered the commander
The stranger stood with his back to
the door, smile on his lips
I'VE will plunge down into the river
1t is a drop of only 20 feet The engine
and the baggage cars have passed over
1t. l think. in flames. but at least
saved from the watery grave" His
glance rested upon the shivering frame
Of the seated passenger, and then he
continued: I'VE must take our turn in
getting out of the window before the
cars fills. and of swimming to the sur
face of the river. 1t is only deep enough
to cover the car. but the current il
swift and strong"
They took their places at the closed
window. There was a horrible
downward rush and a kissing sound
At the window there was {
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30
THE NOSE
HOLDER RS
BY T. p. MORGAN

T HIRTl-ONE saints In bags A suf-
fering sinner with a huge spring
clothes-pin snapped onto each ear. one
on his nose. another on his lower lip.
several hanging from his fingers. and
twice as many more without places to
hang on.
The victim Of the elothes-pin was the
inventive clerk Of the Duny house The
saints in bags were the 81 most prom
inent members OF Elder Blowhorn's fol-
lowing.
Besides being clad In bags. the saints
were adorned by numerous abrasiOns
and bruises. caused by the events that
followed the practical application Of the
clerks little invention for causing in
voluntary snoring.
After prolonged and unique reasoning,
the clerk proved to his own satisfaction
that scoring was greatly conducive TO
the preservation OF health. His theory
was simple enough. too. From careful
observation. he had learned that the
more robust the person. the more lusty
and resonant was his snore. Weak per-
sons snored In weak, coy way, as II
they had not learned to play on their
nose harps very we'll But the stalwart
ones. strong Of wind and sturdy OF torso.
would utter a few preliminary diapason
notes, run up and down the scale a
couple Of times and tnen. striking the
proper key. dash into the popular tune
OF II am dreaming Of thee, Nora,
darling
Following out this line OF reasoning.
the clerk very soon reached the con
cluslon that In order for weak ones 10
become healthier. they must snore
more. II they would not snore, they
must be made to.
Ere long, the clerks little invention
for the promotion Of involuntary snor-
ing was complete. II was modelled after
and very much resembled the pinching
variety Of clothes-pin. which. when It
seizes anything hangs on with the
tenacity Of snapping-turtle.
All that is necessary to make sleep
or snore is TO cause him to breathe
through his mouth. The idea was that,
when one OF these nose holders was
snapped on the victims bill, he would
either breathe through his mouth or
choke. And. II he breathed through his
facial cash. he would snore. and the util-
ity Of the clerks little invention would
be demonstrated.
So pleased was the clerk with his idea
that he constructed nearly half bushel
OF nose holders before he made trial OF
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30
In a Railway
Coach
By CHARLES X. BURRow

TOR a couple Of hours Trevoe had
been solitarily smoking in his
Compartment, at each stop scanning
the platform anxiously, and afterward
making a careful perambulation Of the
corridor. He was tired already, which,
seeing that he was travelling from the
west to town, made the rest of the
Journey look black as night The
train was unusually empty His in
vestigations had proved barren of
promise.
just at the last moment door was
hurriedly opened. He heard a sound
OF luggage being tossed into the rack,
the chink of money and pleasant
Thank you" A porter plunged out
from the next compartment and turned
the handle. The train started.
In the far corner a girl sat-a nurse,
evidently. The costume became her
he thought, in a reactionary spasm
after the former dullness, as the
leaves become a rose. Her eyes were
downcast. studying the toe OF her
right shoe attentively. When he
passed second time, they were raised,
and met his with curiosity which an
swered his own. He returned to his
own quarters and waited.
After a time the lady came into the
corridor to take the air; soon a SIM
liar impulse moved Trevoe in the same
direction They met face TO face. He
stood aside to let her pass.
Thanks" she said; Il feel safer
standing still This thing swings
about so that should be afraid o. fall
ing"
He was deeply interested in this
young person, who was so perfectly
capable Of taking care of herself; she
met him. as it were. on common
ground, as a man might have done.
yet she lost none of the charm Of her
sex. The train sped on.
do you mind my coming into your
compartment" he asked. It's a pity
to be separated by a partition when
we might make this wreiched journey
more endurable by chat"
Come by all means she said; "only
my compartment isn't smoker
BY some means impossible to trace
the other occupants of the carriage
seemed to have become aware that
Trevoe had made a change. He sus-
pected the weedy man with the pam
phlets to have communicated the in
telligence in some subtle way. One by
one they wandered up the corridor
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30
CIGARS KEPT SINCE 1861.
Manufacturers, Unwilling to Pay
Tax on $4,000, Now Dead-Rev-
enue officials Puzzled.

Reading. Pa.-The attention of she
local internal revenue Office has been
called to an unusual case. Reuben
Keinert, a cigar manufacturer, died re-
Gently In Hereford, this county. Stored
at his home are $4,000 cigars that we're
made before the civil war, and the ad-
ministrator of his estate is now won
dering what to do with them. In addi-
ton to the cigars there is sufficient leaf
tobacco to fill four-horse wagon.
Keinert had the $4,000 cigars on hand
when the government, needing money
to carry on the war, passed the revenue
law which made it necessary TO put sew
eral dollars worth Of stamps on each
1.0NO cigars. Mr.. Keinert was opposed
to this and declined to buy stamps As
a result he could not sell his cigars and
for As years they have been stored.
About the time that the stamp law
was passed he was offered $1,000 in gold
for the cigars, but he declined to sell,
thinking that as soon as the war was
over the revenue law in regard to the
cigars would be repealed. With each
recurring congress he expected this to
happen, but each time the aged cigar
maker was disappointed.
After nearly half century he died.
with the revenue law in force and his
$4,000 cigars in storage. They are in
excellent condition. Friends Of the de-
cedent say he was a stubborn man and
would never dispose of anything unless
he secured his price.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

Say. how do you hoe your row, Old chaps
Say. how do you hoe your row.
Do you hoe Il fair,
Do you hoe IL square,
Do you hoe IL the best you knowe
Do you cut the weeds, as YOU oughi
10 do.
And leave what's worth while there?
The harvest you'll garner depends on you
Are you working il on The square?
Are you killing the noxious weeds. old
chap?
Are you making II straight and elean2
Are you going straight,
At a hustling gait2
Are you scattering all that's mean?
Do you laugh ana sing and whistle shriil
And dance a step or two,
As the row you hoe leads Up the hing
The harvest is up 10 you.
You can reap the thing that you ought Il
reap;
A pitiful, worthless dole
Or a harvest fair.
With Bit 10 spare
For another and Wayward soul;
The Master who's waiting 10 garner In
VIII credit you all you're due,
So hoe your row with a song and grin
The harvest Is up TO you.
J. M Lewis. in Houston Post.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30
RABBI

What teachest thou. Rabbi,
That man shall do and live;
Grudge none: bring thou unsparingiy
Thy choicest wine. and give
Thy counsel is unplain;
How give If wine be not?
Sell all thy goods. IN knowledge stain
The edges Of the Pot.
Then when the pot Is flied
What doth thy counsel say
Empty It Ill the last be spilled
Grudge lest one drop should stay.
On. Rabbi answer me-
Poor we're ! as beforei-
What jar except it emptied te
Think you, is flled with more?
Laura Spencer Porter. In Atlantic.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

II is not the relative cost Of dozen
quarts of tomatoes or peaches OF pears
which are home-canned or purchased
from the grocer that so much concerns
the consumer. 1t is a question of get
ting stuff to eat that you have put up
yourself. know what constitutes it and
that it is pure and wholesome instead
Of probably half-green material, likely
colored with coal tar dyes, and all in
all unnutritious, if not actually hurt
ful, to the digestive system. The
chances are. says the Michigan Farmer.
that If you figure your time and trouble
as anything. the home product will
cost good deal more than the store
goods. but the comparison Of the values
Of the two is as night is to day.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30
HE cLAsPED THE coMPREssORs
on THE BILLS OF THE SAINTS.

the invention except upon his own nose,
where It worked to his intense satisfac-
tion. and nearly pinched his beak on
at the same time.
Conceiving the idea that the ordinary
springs were too modest in asserting
themselves. he substituted springs so
strong that IL took pronounced pressure
upon the opposite ends OF the holder 10
open them for the reception OF the wait
ing proboscis.
For several days before the compile
ton OF the invention, the clerk had had
his mental vision fixed on the subjects
for wholesale experiment These were
several Of the most prominent followers
OF Elder Blowhorn and the doctrines by
him taught at the camp. just out of
town.
b some means. the clerk had learned
that. owing to the limited number OF
sleeping-tents. and the unexpected ar
rival Of large delegation of believers
from other localities. a number OF the
brethren were Obliged to pass the night
on cots in the large audience tent in
which services were held in the day
time. Il was upon the noses Of this col
lection OF saints the clerk resolved to
experiment
Not that they lacked in health or mus
cularity. for most Of them looked as If
they had a decided hankering after the
fiesh-pots OF Egypt; but because he
wanted to ascertain the different effects
upon different individuals and noses,
so that the tension of the springs might
be increased or diminished to suit all
requirements.
Several different days had been sci
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30
SONG OF BALpHEApEp NAN.

Great Caesars classic head was bare.
And likewise Socrates
Peter and Paul were forced to wear
Thin capillary heeees;
Shakespeare. earih's literary king.
And johnson. Pope and Gibbon.
Being short of,hirsute covering
Wore wigs tied deft with ribbon.
But Aeham. ] lscari0t,
Ananias lof truth ehay).
Herod. the Pharisees ! wOt.
All spor,ed caputs hairy;
Later came Danton. Robespierre,
And Marat, bloody trio,
Guy Fawkes and Jeifries. Glencoe Stair,
Thick-tnatched like hddling Nero.
Nor viii the eye. IN sooth. Oft see
Bald Hoiteniot or Arab.
kamchatkan. abOriginee.
Kurc or man-eating carib:
Nay nay but Of the human breed
The greater In earths story.
Are those who lead IN thought and deed
Crowned not with hair. but glory
--Mcnroe Guy Carleton. in y \. sun.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30
CONE. BY AL MEANS =

looked in and passed; even the old
ladies' made the journey and retired
with panied superiority. Trevoe and
his companion observed this with de-
light.
I'VE seem to be creating a sensa-
tion," he said. DO you mind?"
mot in the least. But this isn't a
smoking carriage. you know; | told
you that We're breaking rules"
At Exeter an elderly couple were
conveyed across the crowded platform
by an assiduous porter and left in the
compartment which had hitherto been
sacred to Trevoe and his charming ac-
quaintance. They assumed an air of
pensive resignation, but the newcom-
ers did not appear to observe it. The
lady shifted suspiciously and glanced
to right and left for indications.
lis this a smoking compartment p
she asked Trevoe, whose pipe was safe
ly out of sight.
"Oh, nc" he said; ''the smokers
next door"
Then l suppose ii must have leaked
through"
mo DOUBT. he said; these car
riages are shockingly made.
The old lady was Modified. She
smiled benignly upon Trevoe and the
girl. whose name he did not know.
They certainly made pleasant cou-
pie.
Il can't bear the smell Of smoke on
a journey"
1T is rather trying" said the girl
"Of course. there are circumstances
n whica ~ might not be unpleasant.
When I was younger ! didn't mind"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

Lady Frederick Cavendish recently
told a story in illustration Of the pre-
vailing Ignorance in certain classes in
England. A poor woman. in discuss
ing the propriefy Of washing her
nard's hnad. said: 4 know better
than to DO that; I've heard enough Of
water on the brain"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

Since Mrs. Clarence Mackey became
school commissioner in Roslyn, she
wished to make a birthday present
to one of the children. a little girl.
"Ill give you a doll, she said Thank
you" And what kind Of doll?"
'"Twins. please" Twins It was.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-01-30
PASSENGERS DEPARTED.

Per stmr. Kinau, for Hilo and way
ports, Jan. 30.Mrs. ]. Kainaola, Evan
da Silva, Bishop ]. w. Hamilton, Mrs.
Hamilton, Mrs. Inone, c. NJ. White,
Clarence White, Mabel Lee, Florence
Lee, Tiny White, Mrs. J. l. Kopa, Mrs.
J. Il. Biela, Miss Nora Stewart, Mrs.
c. Brown, ii. T. Barclay, Rev. ]. w.
Wadman, Miss Wadman, Miss f. Hol'
stein, Mrs r. X. Holstein, Jno. Olsen,
J. +. Ena, +. ]. Cross, c. F, Shepard,
Mrs. Shepard, II. p Wood, Mrs. Wood,
DR.. p. f. Frear, Allan Herbert, G. J,
Richardson, Dr. II. l. Ross, ]. E.
Rocha, Mrs. Rocha and infant, Miss A,
Caryalho, Il. p. Chaplin, A. E. Douglas,
J. w. Waldron, F. L. Hatch. Judge
Dole.
Per stmr. Mauna Loa, for Maui and
Hawaii ports, Jan. 30.-Frank Gou-
yier, Jr., Mrs. Elizabeth Laioha, Rev,
L. S. Timoteo, J. II. Hakuole, F. f.
Harvey, Mrs. w. McWayne, G. f.
Haynes, DIR. A. r. Rowat, w. J. Moodey
Jno. Cullen.
Per stmr. Likelike, for Maui and
Molokai ports, Jan. 3O.-Mrs. Henry
Meyer for Kaunakakai.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-01-30
PASSENGERS BOOKED.

Per stmr. w. G. Hall, for Kauai ports,
Jan. 80, at 8 p. ma. w. Dunn, II. G..
Ramsay. Mrs, Henry Holi, Mrs. ]. d.
Hanaike and infant, Mrs. Lea Rich
ards and infant. F.. Crawford, c. Hay,
J. A. Palmer. f. ]. Swadling. Mrs. Pal.
Per o. s. S. Sonoma, tonight, for San
Francisco.-J. w. Mason, S. II. Moses,
II. II. Earle. Miss Wharton, DR., N. X.
Cox and wife. Mrs. T. A. Hays, G. =,
Wilcox. Il. A. Fraser. wife and two
children. Miss V. McGregor, Geo. M.
Axtell, A. II. Moffitt, Mr.. and Mrs
Stagg. Mrs. w. A. Black and child, II
H. Campbell. william Mills. Jr.. Mr.
and Mrs. f. Billings. Mrs, Capt. Clark
Miss Clark. J.,A McGill. G. A, Ander'
son. @. NJ. Bruce, Geo. II. Brown and
wife. ....-- .-.
, Per o. s. s. Sierra. January 81, foi
the Colonies.-C.W. Busk, w. d, Busk
Misses Newton.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-01-30
WEATHER REPORT
u. 8. Weather Bureau,
Local Office.

U. 8. Weather Bureau.
Local Office.
Jan. 80. 1906.
Temperatures-6 a. m, Go; a. m,
g.; 10 a. m, 6S; noon. 60; morning
minimum, IS.
Barometer, s a. m, 5000; absolute
humidity, s a. m, 4. 562 grains per Gu.
bic foot; relative humidity, a. m, GO
per cent: dew point, a. m, SO.
wind-6 a. m, velocity 10, direction
NV; s a. m, velocity 16, direction n
W; 10 a. m, velocity 10, direction N
W; noon, velocity 10, direction NV.
Rainfall during "a hours ended
s a. m, .01 inch.
Total wind movement during "a
hours ended at noon. 254 miles.
ALEX. MoC. ASHLEY.
Section Director, U. s. Weather Blu
reau.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-01-30
JAPANESE FISHERMAN
OFF HAWAII
NOT MISSING ONES

J. Anderson, keeper of the Kama.
hena Point Light Station on Hawaii,
writes to The Bulletin to the effect
that a sampan with three Japanese oc.
cupants recently stopped near his
place en- route to Hilo from Kauai.
The men were fishermen and had been
out seven days. Mr.. Anderson gave
them a fresh supply of provisions, in.
Guiding matches, tobacco, salt pork,
beans, etc. The sampan was number
&C. Mr.. Anderson read in The Bulle.
tin of January 23d about a medium.
sized sampan with three men aboard
which left Honolulu last November
and had never been heard from. He
was under the impression that the
ones who stopped at his place were
the supposed fishermen.
The japanese who II is believed have
been lost at sea left here In November
for Kauai. According to the records
of James McCready, who has charge
of the boats for the Government, his
sampan was number 60. He had two
men with him. The owners name was
Saioura. The japanese fishermen here
still have slight hope that their friends
are safe, but fear that the trio was
lost.
Masuda is the name Of the owner OF
sampan number &c. He is we'll
known fisherman and has a number of
boats on the other islands and hires
men to fish for him. He also left here
in November, but evidently was more
fortunate than his fellow countryman
Saioura and his companions.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-01-30
DEPARTE Ed.

Monday, January 30.
Schr Lady, for Koolau ports, p. ~
Stmr. Iwalani, Piltz, for Eleele and
llanapepe, p. m.
Stmr Maui, Bennett, for Hawaii
ports, 5 p. m.
Stmr Ike Au Hou, Tullet, for Kauai
ports. p. m.
Tuesday, January 30.
Stmr. Mauna Loa, Simerson, for 10
ma and Kau ports, IL noon.
Stmr. Kinau, Freeman, for Lahaino
and Hilo and intermediate ports, IL
noon.
Stmr. Likeu<e, Naopala, for MolokaL
Maui and Lanai ports, IL noon.
Stmr. J. A. Cummins, Searle, for
Waimanalo. IL a. m.
Am. ship Erskine NJ. Phelps, Graham,
for Philadelphia. 1880 a. M, with
sugar.