davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
YOUNG FOLKS COLUMN.


How de You doy" ii asked in a fa-
can't recall ever having met you he
/ Tore. | replied rather colby
mat was your misfortune" it re-
I've met some people resembling You
ana didnt admire them" retorted rath-
| er severely.
No doubt. no doubt" it replied. You
/ are the kind that wants the real thing.
! mutations won't work with YOU"
We heard of refined hard" ven
Yes, yes, it answered. 'but that
doesn't say II was educated. I'm tdu-
! What can you do?" | asked
oh. can spell peoples names.
among other things" it said
Spell mime | suggested.
| Nlth pleasure it replied: and at
J once there appeared ON the floor Il LOT of
/ cards which seemed to have letters ON
/ them, though from where sat could
| not tell one from another.
Carefully picking ont six of them and
arranging them in order. il said with a
! satisfied grunt, Il guess that's all right. "
! and really. tbcrc being six as then,
thought II was, too until. going 60 look
| | saw that instead of spelling Robert
| they spelled Donkey, Noting my indigna-
ton the pig Squcalcd with delight.
| was about To say something very St
we're when "lla-ha-ha. Eo-ho-ho, Oh.
/ my. Oh. my, met my ears aud the fun
| NEST clown | had ever seen danced in
laughing SO heartily tina, I couldn't help
! joining him
! Seating himself aStridc of the pig. he
asked IN high, Squeaky voice. How do
you like my charger"
Il wouldn't call him charger. am
Swcrcd.
You'd call him pretty high ,.harrer 80
| ne answered, If you bought him for
ham, pork, bacon, lard, spare ribs and
bacon; that is. II YOU took him at his
price. As for me, | call him worth just
one silver dollar"
Why So cheap | asked
because he's only four quarters with
u head and tail he screamed. and again
| he and the pig gave an exhibition of
/ laughing IN several different languages.
That's good | said 10y way of en-
| cour&gement, but before he could reply
the band struck up that old tune;
! The elephant now goes rcnnd.
The band begins to play
Ihr boys around the monkeys cage
| llad better Keep out of the way
/ And all the animals and queer people
/ came in dancing. The fat woman with
| the living skeleton: the giant with my
/ friend the midget; the wild man of Ror.
neo with the albino princess; the "What
| is it, with the homeless wonder; the
! two-h"aded girl was quarcling over
! Which Of two partners to take, or both
and the clown was feeding the elephant
a barrel of mnce pies The Peanut boy
was giving away bags of diamonds and
rubies and pearls; the Queen of tn,
AmazonS' had Just asked me to he hcl
! partner, when "Br-r-r-r-r-r-r-r buz-z-z-s
! ting-aling, tmg-a-ling, a-ling. ling, My
miserable old alarm Clork went of. ant
my visit To the land where Nod and til,
! Sandman meet was over for that time
Still I'm going again soon"
And will you tell us about t." askc,
the children.
Won't |. thought" said Uncle Bob
Ralph Wilbur in Saturday Star.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
LAST OF BILLY. THE MINSTREL.
Almost Forgotten in Life, but His Coffin
Was Piled with Flowers.

Billy Black was buried Thursday.
Some people called him William Hart,
but To most folks be was just BILLY, -
the last of the old-tme black-facc come
dams
He died last Monday morning of a
hemorrhage. He had been i'll long
time in quiet house in Fifteenth street.
Nobody remembers the number.
You see. people had lost sight of Billy
for the last twenty-five years, and il
was only when he died that people re-
called that there had been such man
in the old san Francisco MINISTRIES. II
dnlcet tenor contcmporaneous with Billy
Birch, Raymon Moore. llughie Dough
crty. Willis Sweatnam and the rest.
He had no relatives left He had
friends. but they had drifted--likc all
friends on the road. They met on the
Rialto. They shook hands and said:
You: Why, | thought you were dead
long ago Somebody told me You were
dead, like all the rest Of EN- Good joke,
eht Let's have "A drink
Last week Billy Black, or Hart. was
playing with burlesque troupe down
in Fourteenth street. lie did not turn
up one afternoon-that was Monday
and when they inquired why, old Billy
was dead.
The burlesaue company which liked
him found what was left Of him in the
undertaking shop. He looked quiet and
he smiled ms he always had. Somebody
wondered who was going 10 pay for the
funeral. But Frank Campbell the uu-
dcrtaker. had told Rev. DIR. II NJ War
rem. the hotel chaplain, who always does
the right thing by people in Queer street
Or Warren found the money.
Thursday when . O'Clock came, when
Billy was to be buried ut least 300 Of
the profession bad dropped in and
dropped flowers on the coffin. And when
Billy Black-or Billy Hart. whichever
name was best beloved went to Ever
green's cemetery his coffin WAS piled with
wreaths and there were fourteen car
riages Who was in them; Nobody
kncw-but Bily.-Ncw York Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
Helps in Making the Circular Skirt.

1t has often happened that the home
dressmaker has avoided uuderta king the
making of circular skirts. from fear Of
taer sagging, which seemed an almost
inSuTmountable difficulty. But with the
present improved knowledge Of things
relative to dressmaking. such difficulties
as sagging have been overcome. Plaits.
tncks. gored circular shapings, etc, have
contributed to this result. and circular
skirts have become very popular styles.
ri the variations one of the most pleas
ing, especially for evening wear. Is the
Snn-plaited skirt which is shaped in an
entire circle by No. 90ST, our pattern for
the same.
After the garment is cut. the two sec
sent to the platter for plating. After
ward the back seam of the skirt should
zoe basted together and the skirt fitted in
tie following manner:
4 length of tape or a straight strip Of
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

ton. This surely was client lie an.
sWered in the affirmative.
Well. sab" said the old woman.
"Ah wants ter AK 20 device. Now, yo'
see, All owes rent ON ma house. All
KANT pay hit en- dc Ian lord say he
gwine tel put me out mex week Of All
doan fotch round de cash. WHAT'S All
gWine ter do, Mistah lawyah MANI
Judge Banks gave himself over tn
deep study for Il moment Then he told
the old woman that with due process of
law, the landlord could he compelled to
give her month"; notice. The first cli-
ent was delighted
Well now, young man." she said,
Abs mighty much erbliged ter you.
lo suhtiuly es smaht, Good mohninr'
Hold on" came from the young law
Yer, Haven't you forgotten something:"
"How's datE' asked the old negresS.
Did All done drapped somethin'I'
No said Judge Banks, but my fee
is 81. You must pay me for that adj
vice"
The cid uegreSs heSitated. Then she
took hold of the doorknob
"Mistah," she said. "Ah doan' want
We ole device Keep hit. Dat rent
amt but foah dolahs.' And ont she
went. Denver Post.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

signed to be used in detachmg clinging
vines and runners from the growing
plants The improved device comprises
II wedding blade of the usual form, and
connected to the handle by shank
which curves upward Extending from
the shank is a cutting blade, curved away
from the handle and shank.
In using the implement the cutting
blade is forced forward or away from the
operator by pushing motion. aud 10y its
peculiar form and position is very con
vcnlent for Severing vines. runners,
creepers and similar plant life from the
stalks of the growing and valuable
plants. The implement will also be
found very convenient for chopping cot.
ton, or thinning cotton and other plants.
and will also he found very useful In
working corn and similar crops. upon
which vines and crceperS are liable to
be found, and whose removal is generally
| attended with much labor and annoy
ance. The cutting blade being made in
tegral with the shank will not be n
cumbersome or Objectionable addition a.
the hoe.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
Sympathy Is Needed.

We must all realize that this life is
full of sorrow, and it you personally
have had the good luck to escape your
share of it you are very fortunate
person.
But do not. on that account, allow
yourself to grow cold-hearted and uu-
sympathetic to others.
Those poor others, their lot is often
so hard-so lonely-so full of misery
We are here to heal the wounds sud
bind the broken hearts" and the only
way we can DO this is by being Kind,
loving and sympathetic.
\ few words of love will do more 10
help a sufferer than money. sometime
For heart-sickness is much harder 70
help than hunger aid poverty. Show ia
terest in others: try TO help them. 90 cut
of your way TO tighten the burden Of
the heavily laden.
Do not hesitate to whisper your kindly
thoughts in their ears. Don't pass 0y
on the other side" if you are strong,
then be merciful.
Remember that we all look at life
from different standpoints. and what
might appear like a grain of mustard
seed in your path to you is an almost
insurmOuntable obstacle in your weaker
sister.
The more she shrinks the more neca~-
sity for You to step in and help her On
her way with genuine sympathy and
loving, sisterly words and acts.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
Coal Oil Cleaning.

IF more women knew how quickly
and thoroughly coal oil acts as a clean
ing agent there would be fewer tired
backs and aching bones on cleaning
day" said Il little woman, whose apart
ment is always as fieekless as the streets
Of a certain town celebrated for its I'M
maculate condition.
Ever since the hint was given me by
practical friend-a fifty years house,
keeper" she continued. I've been learn-
ing to use the oil for more and more
purposes each week. In fact. | am a
coal oil crank. / wipe up my stained
wood floors with a rag moistened with
the oil. and find that in addition to re-
moving every scrap of dust it darkcns
the boards a little every time. which is
desideratum in my case, as the floor is Of
soft wood and wears easily.
All the woodwork | wine with an
other rag. on which | sprinkle few
drops of the OIL. Anything of porce-
lain like a bathtub il cleans most beau
tifully; also the bathroom washstand
and closet. only taking the precautions
to change your cloths. The wall back
of my range is painted deep red When
it becomes greasy and dusty | find that
the oiled cloth makes splendid
cleanser. although | confess / tried it
in the first instance with fear and tren-
bling
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
Old Time Fire Glories Passing.

Iiltsburg viii look still less like hell
with the it'd off after the first of the
wear, when the hot Stag trains from the
furnaces of the Carnegie plants Will bee
Discontinued. Hereafter the Stag viii be
moved aud dumped cold
Those Stag trains are about tile la~t If
the old-tuc fiery glorcS that made Pitts
burg euylronS picturesque at night.
Years ago the Canada tops put stop
~ the great bursts of flame that uSed tp
come from the blast furnaces when
charges were dumped into them u the
old fashioned way. and incidentally.
saved the heat. Then opeu-hcarth ~recl
furnaces began TO displace Bessemcr coli
ycrters with their magnificent towers of
golden fame the open hearth furnaces
showing no fire ut all The Stag trains
continued picturesque feature of the
MunonEahcla river banks 40 night. tout
now they, too. are dootncd
By the new process Stag is passed nn-
dor sDUuy cg water as It is poured
from the furnaces into The cars tp be rt-
moved. This causes ir To- bronx uin
fragments and cpuls IL so THAT rIr trains
laadcd with it are uo more picturesque
train, loaded with pig iron. Illr -rHul-
lated STAG H. used for raiinsyi ballast
aud other purpose. Iit.hur- Dispatch.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
WISDOM OF AN EMPIRICIST.

! He who spccuatcs is lost
Being contcnted is good way 10 cease
progressing.
The scat Of conscience often seems 10
! he in the liver.
\ man who is fred with ambition Is
seldom fired for it,
Thick coats OF paint are not often
found on sound material
If woman can't be stylish she gets
even by being awfuiIy good.
!, is more fun to be sick than TO diet
and haye regular habits.
Good resolutions are half the battle. al
right, but too many people care for only
half,
The people who tell you to go in and
win are often putting their money on
the other fellow.
\ good way to get to hcavcn-if you
have lived rightcnusly seems to be- to
take u fast train.
II was q stranger aud We took me IN. "
doesn't mean Whit il did in Bible days.
as the police department can testify.
\ terrible drawback to being a newly
married couple and keeping house is that
small roHsts Of beer are not good TO eat.
From the way some men prepare 10 go
10 heaven they must imagine that all
they need * "a letter Of credit from their
bankers.
Such is their foudno-s for technical
eya>iou~ that il IS surprising Chat tlc
muitiml,ljnna;re~ huTe rot caused a uce-
dc 10 ho made with au eye big enough
fer "a camei IT, crawl through 49, Louis
Globe Democrat.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
ASKING MOTHER.

Mother. say, NOW. can't | 80
Hunting IN the woods with Jog%
Nitie'S mother says he can:
III take care; I'm most "a man
DO, please, mother, let me 70
hunting IN the woods with Joe?'
80 Fred begs: ana would You think
Al The very self-Same time
~ the house acroSs the street
Willie rings the self-same chime,
Mother. say. nov, can't ! 20
hunting in the woods with joe
frcddle'S mother said he might
Sure. Wen be home long fore night
lo. please. mother let me 20
Hunting in the woods with loe:"
Joe stands waiting Ia the street.
le"Sled hair and rough Shod fcel.
right he holds his battered gun.
Hears the pleading of each one,
stands ANA listens anNiouSly,
Thinking. thinking sonerlN.
GucSS their mothers think I'm rough.
Wild and reckless. like enough:
hardly trust their boys to me:
Wish they would. and then they'd Spe
JHSt how careful could he
| dun' have Ia ASK my m0thcr.
For she's dead There's none tn bother
II | stay or Ii | 90:
N"uldn't ! he happy, though,
70 hear mother tell me, No
You can go a hunting, Iorl "
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
The Falsehood.

The FalSenood.
Each morn he lies in his trundle bed
And sees the great sun rise;
He shakes the curls OF his golden head
And rubs his sleepy eyes;
Then softly steals across the floor
And climbs upon my knee;
Why won't she tum TO me-
/ cannot tell the little boy
She died the other day;
l brush aside a mist of tears,
And answer: Gone away"
Then on he runs for his horse and drum,
And shouts aloud in glee;
'I'll wide my horse and pway ut war
Till mudder tums to me"
Again, at night, when the little boy
Ascends the oaken stair,
And, kneeling, folds his baby hands,
He breathcS her name in prayer;
Dear bod, pwease bwins my mudde
home"
hear him softly pray.
Yes. God will bring her home to You
In the morning, deal " l say.
The tears that fell for Lazarus
May fall for me today,
And Christ who died for human men
win blot that lie away;
For. through the dark of coming years.
A day is breaking dim,
When the tender light of eternal dawn
VIII bring her home to him
Baltimore News.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
The Symptoms of a
Man Who Has La Grippe.

These he the times that try women :
souls La grippe is almost epidemic.
and there are few married women who
have not been called upon TO nurse a
husband through an attack of it.
Now to have ia grippe yourself is no
joke, bur it is mere pleasantry-a
Sportiye pastime for an idle day-coln-
pared with the strenuous job Of taking
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
GOSSIP FOR THE LADIES.
When The Birds Go North.

When the Birds Go North.
OH. every year hath its winter,
And every year hath its rain,
nut a day is always coming
When the birds go North again
Oh. every heart hath its sorrow,
And every heart hath its pain,
But a day is always coming
When the birds so North again
Ella Higginsou.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

In an endeavor TO foster home indus
try the Canadian government has estab-
lished a number of bOunties to be pad
to manufacturers and miners which last
year aggregated S190O.O00 on iron and
steel products. 1894. 600 on lead. So
900 OH crude petroleum and $4,000 "a
manila fiber
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
HOE ATTACHMENT.
For Severing Vines, Runners and Creep
ers from Stalks of Valuable Plants.

ers from Stalks of Valuable Plants.
American agricultural implements are
known the world over as the best pro-
durable, especially for saving time This
is true both as TO the large appliances
used on farms and the smaller garden
implements. 4 Texas farmer is the in
ventor of hoe attachment applicable to
hand wedding or garden hoes of various
forms and sizes. The attachment con
sists of cutting blade, which is de-
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31
WHERE NOD AND THE SANDMAN
MEET.

.l,,1.1 -, "' r." i'"''
r"'''" ''' ''''"'eh ""N toat MiIchnE
/ time between the dark and DAYLIGHT hnJ
arrived which IL. moot Lo., 1'aI'-,.,,., Nv,
,I' rn''nr"" called Inc 'mldr"n'S
/ ltnur. Please, | nClp Bob, a stony. n
/ song. or HON, Ana so I-n,.I., r.1. ..,,,,,
l,,,.l t,.lt l,;..'.,.....,-. '"-
anu t"l" 'niS STORY;
No.. ....,.e..,.,.
( ~" N"u''i tui iaiH. YOU uaS hctlrN",
ne houses are apt to b" upside down
IN ,i'c I"i'ule OF me street.
IN 'n'A HuSh al Mhdl called impossible
""'H'N'f tdtl othef theN greet
H.,,.,,....
! m[do, ln'N say rs each other they spy,
' WIN we wi htsh al team f OF pk elephants
ia the plncr where miu,e ~ ..,,,,,. ~,
trees
/ And pick a few for bite:
.n. ..,,..u
II, thr ham,, ~ u nf a nun, l, OF S"i'
Where the rinpln,, hrn"l,. ,r,, nt s,,.o,.t mon.
fumc
And nought is heard but the gro.nS
VI bushes beneath their great weight OF
/ Crn-ni,,r il, u,,s,,..i. ,..ro..,
'''''N'
/ where the lily pads are brown hurk,,brat
cakes
Ano4t IN a lake of honcy,
J y ,,,,., a..
Where Won ronldI2.t t''J FEEL sad shonIa you
try 10, '''
N'''5 'ni"s S''ilS :" l"'IN
nh ,ho,, l,.ti in.
'"' ,t,3 'h"' Nic VIII" JOY al me very
AMI ~, M. ,,.,,t..,..., a.. .
/ iGrhapS tomorrow you may not believe
p,,, nv t,, ,ni,ES We II Inho you 70 see,
Now It ms II. ,,fI W., r, "t'l' "''"''
/
| 80 once II, while | must take trip
, J." the 9hu where. fancy free,
/ ) ~" MHlu'r anu i"to tue happenings
| ;. VI thugs never KNOWN 10 pc
! HXWv ttp} " Peohble VINO WISH that iahd
/ ~ NoH the 3"u"hiah aUu me
+ ..Tho fact Is .tba LAST limo v.a. than;
| So many things hammered ana H., Lnn.
nenrd so fast that ~ L"ri ta ,anaII
! Them. WHY. hardly had started IA
ask = riantpss how much Cha ,yniobnd
| whom nnnfi !, wind NOV, I,o,.,, ~. ~
| She had bneu tbistlnIov.n and f",nJ
! she had been littinr nm =, Iarr. huraa,,
| instead If an . cL,i,. ny I h,d s,,n'
posed. Going mn to the large olJ-fosE-
ioned thing read naint"J an It's tom ton
! 'InformGtinn Rurrlu Nsl YAM. o,n,'
| tinn and tu1.u tnnh H. tho r;,,l,t
"..\Lo" / nvrla;nnd a. Iagt I b,,.o
| fourJ II, Nov, can Ioa,n =, "nnd ,,,",,,.
| thin,. Fyo Lon,, ,,a,+in,, - ~, M,
Rurcau," slid noIitnly ,.will Won kind.
| " inform me "''''
!
Why do the things / like the best
Agree with me the least
/ And why are things | do not like
| The best for man and hcasty
-,
get angry. when | looked NJ The ian
| again. and there in n littlc .lusX frame
| WAS y card which road.
|
| man w., Wn G c. g los lN.,.,.,, ....
| Once asi.ad :, nm how, stron,, II" was
! Ana was tossed DER the pasture fence.
| Then he knew. but somehow the answer
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

-High-born Siamese walk with tire
elbow joint turned inward and tae
thumbs on.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

From the way some men prepare to go
to heaven they must imagine that an
they need is "a letter Of credit from their
bankers.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

\ terrible drawback to being newly
married couple and keeping house is that
small roasts of beef are not good 10 eat
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

He who spcculatcs is lost.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

Good resolutions are half the battle. al
right, but too many people care for only
half
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

II was stranger and We took me in"
doesn't mean What il did i'm Bible days.
as the police department can testify
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

Il is more fun to be- sick than TO diet
and have regular habits
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

II woman can't be stylish she gets
even by being awfuily good.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

Being coutented is good way 10 ceaS,
progressing.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-31

\ good way to get TO hcavcn-if you
have lived rlghtcuusly seems to be- 10
take Il fast train.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1906-12-13

On Friday evening Dec. z at about
9 'clock occurred the death of Ira L.
Trip. who has been running barber
shop here. The remains were taken
to Dow City Saturday and on Sunday
at 2 o'clock the funeral was held.
Deceased was about AZ years of age.
He leaves a wife, two sons and two
daughters. besides an aged father
and mother and one sister to mourn
his loss.
On Saturday at the hospital in
Sioux City occurred the death of
Mrs. Herman Schultz ST.. She had
been taken there few days ago to
have an operation performed. Be-
sides husband she leaves several
children, who have all grown into
manhood and womanhood to mourn
for her. also large number of other
relatives.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1906-12-13
Sch1esUig

Mr.. Herrig and wife of Denison,
were visiting at the Pete Jepsen home
the first of the week.
Mr.. Olander and family returned
from visit at Strathford, Monday
morning.
John Hoiten and wife visited over
Sunday in Kiron.
Gus Stegeman was looking after
business matters in Sioux City on
Wednesday.
John Grazing came in Wednesday
from Leigh. Neb., to see old friends
once again.
w. w. Webb went to Sioux City
Wednesday morning. Mrs. Webb and
son Donald accompanied him as far
Orson where they spent few days
visiting friends.
H. B. Hansen came up from Boyer
Wednesday evening. He stayed over
till Thursday.
Theo. Rohwer was an Ida Grove
visitor Tuesday.
Fred Frederickson had the misfor-
tune to have two head Of cattle killed
by the passenger train Wednesday.
VIM. Jochims marketed the fines,
car of hogs Tuesday that has come
into Schleswig this fall. He had 90
head and they averaged LII pounds.
Neil Humer was up from Kiror
Thursday.
C. C. Kemming was up from Deni.
son Wednesday.
Mrs. j. j .Vogel took her departure
Thursday for California. where she
will spend the winter visiting re
latives.
1t was reported this week that some
of the Woodmen went out to H
Weeks place and helped him tt
finish husking his corn but Henry say
he failed to see them and that HI
still has IS acres yet to husk.
Otto Hollander is now employed il
the Schultz drug store.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1906-12-13
VIOLATING THE SABBATH.

VIOLATING The SABBATH.
A few Sundays ago a farmer drove
over to the county attorneys home and
demanded the arrest of neighbours
threshing crew that was violating
the Sabbath. = The county attorney
was busy pulling weeds in his garden
and suggested that the complainant
go before the justice of peace in his
own township. but he was informed
that the justice was out fixing his
windmill. He was then asked to
telephone to the sheriff and have him
attend to the matter. but he was to
busy loading cattle at the stock yards.
The farmer was exasperated, and re-
solved to saddle horse and go for a
constable. but his good wife. who
was busy canning fruit. informed him
that the boys had driven the horses to
the village. where the boys were in
a lineup for ball game and the girls
had gone to picnic. The farmer
has been drunk on hard cider ever
since, and stoutly refuses to be sober
ed. Ellsworth, Kan. Messenger.