The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-08

hannah. Harper weekly.
HVMOR OF THE Day
stewdeus-I hear that you had a rough
Miss Hiehfli-oh. ffrixAtfuIiy sol It was
such relief to set foot once more on vice
ToVne-You've got a new typewriter
girl, 7 see.
BroWne-Yes.
Iowne-Is she brIght7
It s Intentional. but she seems to be a fe-
male Josh Billings--Philadelphia Press.
1T is upon the farmer that the great
ness of this country really depends" said
the persuasive statesman.
Yes, answered Farmer Corntossel,
but sometimes I think I'd like to be one
Of the fellers that didn't have so much
depending on EN- SOS could have time
to wear good clothes and go to a few
parties. w ashington Star.
win you marry ne?''
time
no consider"
ments. Cleveland Plain Dealer
old Mr.. Doter. is nearly so now. and he
really. seems brighter than for some years
yes. he struck his second precocity,
perhaps "-Philadelphia Ledger
Bishop Ito little visitor. who has asked
him to sign postcard portrait of HIMSELF
1SutEeT-surely, signed one for you
Little visitor-Yes; but snapped you
for two New zealanders, you know
Next-9ouse Noonan Ceiling story
When I went down for de third time ev-
cry. event Nv me life passed before me like
q flash
Prayed Fagin-Geel wasn't it horribIeq
Next-HOuse Noonan-No delightful; de
beers an free lunch kept coming so fast
dat couldn't count 'em!-Puek.
Boggs-How has the world been treating
Hogg-Not often enough. old man
When a man begins to declare that he
feels as young as he ever did his friends
begin TO suspect that he doesn' t.-Cleve-
land Leader
T must fly. said the cashier.
Then fly with me remarked stran-
GER l.a1ying q heavy hand on him.
with your stammered the cashier.
Yes. I'm known as a fly cop -
Philadelphia Ledger.
.,Ghawley's hawd up.
What's the twouble?''
Why, he wefuses to do the only thing
IN tbs. the world he could do9'
BE a dwessmaker's model. San Fran
cisco Call.
Papa. what is the difference between a
CRATER and philanthropist7
= Merely F x, one e. Of years. my son. man
anthropist afterward. Life.
He-I must be going.
She-But what's your hurry2
Hell understand your father wears
she-sThaf is 81 Inf vo,, ara +ta s.c,-,,7
caller have had this evening and you
know father is not strong enough to eject
two men IN one night.-Yonkers States
man.
straws to see which OF US takes this up
per berth2'
mo. Brooks. responded Rivers, crawl
ms into the lower one. That wouldn't be
fair to YOU. The upper berth Is yours BY
natural right, b Is higher up in the al
phabet than r. Chicago Tribune
Mrs. chugwater-Josiah, what is a sur
render value IN life insurance.
Mr.. ChugWater-It's the value Of the
stuff you surrender TO the company for
the officers to get rich on.-Chicago Tri-
bune.
Robinson crusoe was talking to the par
.'PolIy want cracker?'' he asked.
7 refuse to answer. replied the bird,
''on advice Of counsel"
Thus we see that the parrot was not as
green as he looked.-New York World
Glass Eater-The tattooed lady has bro
ken OF her engagement to the fellow who
plays the kettle drum in the orchestra
Lightning Calculator-No wonder He
kept telling her all the time that if there
was anything he loved 1t was to beat a
tattoo.-Judge.
His Wife-John, dear, the doctor saws I
need a change of climate.
Her Husband-AM right. The weather
man says it will be colder tomorrow
CHICAGO News.
What started old Pinchapenny to
studying occult scienceT'
He wants to cultivate a new sense 50
he can see bill collector through a brick
waIL''-Detroit Free Press.
Dolly-The programme will be entirely
.Dlck-Wen perhaps it's better so.when
makes the rest sound so fat.-Chieago
News
Patience-Did the cook give you any
notice when she was leaving2
Patrice-No,s she hardly noticed as at all.
-Yonkers Statesman.
DO you think we shall be allowed to
follow the same avocafions in e future
life e. that We .. do in this2'
What do you do?''
Nothing. cleveland Leader.
He-Mnionaires are very common now
shse-some of them always were.-De-
Elsie-Mamna's so disappointed. Her
cake didn't turn out as wen as she ea-
, Tommy-oh. good Iuckl Then we can
have as much Of It as we like.-PhiladeI-
phia Ledger.
why don't you sue him for libel7s'
And make him say It all over again7
or II