davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1906-08-02
CHAPTER vi.

THE ARGONAUT's RETURN TO THE
RISING SUN.
II was midOctober. The two saddle
horses and a team for carriage use had
bAen shipped ahead. In the private car
me Bines party was beginning its own
Journey eastward. From the rear plat
form they had watched the tall figure
Of Uncle Peter Bines standing in the
bright autumn sun, aloof from the
band of notwithstanding friends, the
droop Of his head and shoulders show
Ing the detection he felt at seeing them
go. He had resisted all entreaties to
accompany them.
His last injunction to Percival had
been to marry early.
al know your stock and know YOU"
he said; "and you got no call to be
rangin' them pastures without brand.
You never was meant fur a maverick.
Only don't let the first woman that
comes ridin' herd get her iron on you.
No man knows much about the crit
ters, of course, but I've noticed few
things in my time. You pick one
that's full-ckested, that's got fairish,
sized nose, and that likes cats. The
full chest means she's healthy, the
nose means she amt fnicky, and likin
cats means she's kind and honest an6
unselfish. Ever notice some womeI
when cats around? They pretend tt
like 'em and say Nice kitty but you
can see they're viewin' 'em with bitter
hot Nd "a
stroke 'em they do 1t plenty gingerl.
and you can see EN- shudderin' insid,
like. 1t means they're catty them
selves. But when one grabs a cat vi
as If she was goin' to eat it and cud
dies 1t In her neck and talks baby-tall
to 1t, you play her fur bein' sound an,
true. Pass up the others, son."
AS the train started he swung him
self OF with a sad little BE good t
yourself!"
Thank the Lord we're under wa
at last!" cried Percival, fervently
when the group at the station ha
been shut from view.
''Isn't 1t just heavenly" exclaime
his sister. Thing Of having all c
New York you want-being at HON
there-and not having to look forwar
10 this desolation OF place."
Mrs. Bines was neither depressed no
elated. She was maintaining tina
calm level of submission to fate whic
had been her lifelong habit. rhe jour
ney and the new life were to be under
tk.Sen because they formed for her tn
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1906-08-02
CUPID IN MERRY MOOD

the American. The rest was easy,
because Cupid had his mind made up.
Mr.. Schroeder pleaded his case and
the Greek countess agreed to become
the plain American Mrs" So they
came back to Brooklyn to be married.
There few days ago they were wed.
But this didn't end the ceremonial
part of the wedding. The countess
wanted also wedding in the faith
of her fathers, SO all the party jumped
into automobiles and were whisked
over to Manhattan and up to the little
Greek church, Seventy-second street,
near Lexington avenue, where there
was another wedding, according to the
full ritual Of the orthodox Greek
church.
There was crowd of the couples
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1906-08-02

The Venus of Medci exquisite figure sure there are
people who would admit being shocked this Greek statue
infinitely vulgar and suggestive she some shocked
lady would garb her in peek-a-boo waist
On the street think women should clothes The
waist with its mutudnou holes glimpse lingerie
and coored ribbons is far mmodest
ageousy lownecked gown of the English society woman or the
strip tights OF the beautifully formed actress
American women have gained reputation Of discretion
pared with French women but must that would
guilty of going the lengths of displaying persons apparently
conventional American women do in the peekaboo waist
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1906-08-02

er he got a position with Hiram Walk
er & Sons oil interests in Port of
Spain, Trinidad He went away and
did well. He sent for Miss Whyte.
She was too i'll to take the Journey
So the impatient bridegroom-to-be had
to wait
But let Miss Whyte tell her own
story just as she told it reclining in
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1906-08-02
Thr 5namuheHty nf
thr prrk- -Rnn n1atHt
By LALLA SELBINI,
French Actress.

is far easier to give definition of immodesty than of
modesty Immodesty can be typ6ed by two words in my
estimation-the "peek-a-boo waist"
While appear every afternoon and evening a
roof garden in tightftting bathing suit confess
my sense of modesty would never go far to
peeka-boo waist.
There is nothing more mmodest than of these
suggestive, half-revealng, haconceaing garments that
women have taken part of their costumng.
one has said that for to critcise peekaboo waists is
nge since my appearance utterly unhampered by
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1906-08-02

went there on a business trip. They
met in that far-off land under sunny
skies, and the romance of the place
perhaps Cupid had a hand-drew
them to one another.
The widow was rich. and among
her properties were mines in Mexico.
Thither she journeyed few months
ago to inspect them and there she met
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1906-08-02

mmodes about womans figure clothed in the ghtftng
bathing suit than in While may appear
stage which act she is giving
stage profession SO long vulgar aesthetic
sense be vulgar ALL Real vugarty immodesty
where the artistic is shocked and pure
dominating there be susceptibility to
modest suggestions
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1906-08-02
Expert Swimmer at 72.

Mary Wheatland has been giving
exhibitions of fancy swimming and
diving in the sea at Bangor, England.
Mary is 70 years old, and has been
an expert swimmer for 81 years.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1906-08-02

He was graduated in 1904. Soon aft
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02
THE SMALLEST DICTIONARY
Volume Owned by Chicagoan Weighs Less Than Half an Ounce and
 Contains 647 Pages.

Chicago.-What is believed to be the smallest "big" book in the world is now owned in Chicago T. J. Beck ing, of Barry avenue, has come into possession of a family heirloom in the shape of a remarkable French English dictionary which, while it contains CAT pages, weighs less than half an ounce. MT. Becking received it from an aunt, who secured the tiny volume years ago in Glasgow, Scot land, the city where municipal owner ship comes from, and where the small est dictionary in the world was pub lished.
 This dictionary is one and one-six- teenth by three-fourths of an inch in size and is seven sixteenths of an inch thick. While its pages are perfectly white and opaque, they are thinner than the finest transparent tissue pa- per Each page of this dictionary con- tains more than 100 words, and the book more than 65,000, each of which can be read clearly with the aid of a microscope. An ordinary magnifying glass VIII Hot iaiSo tHe type SuIn- cient number of diameters to make it readable. The pages were printed from type set forms and not from plates, and, minus the margin, the printed page is less than three -fourths by less than an inch in size. The dictionary was edited by s. E. A. Case, of Paris and was printed by the University Press at Glasgow
 MT. Becking has incased the volume in a small silver box and wears it as a watch charm.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02
SENTENCE SERMONS.

Fear and fret makes life's friction
 Heaven helps those who help oth CTS.
 Heaven despairs of the man whc despises men.
 True religion nourishes the root, of right doing.
 The church that courts the rich loses it's riches.
 Sometimes hiding anotbers faults heals our own.
 The man who Is too previous is sure to get procra$inated The hardest work some folks do is telling how buaS they are.
 You cannot keep your eyes on your watch and your heart on your work
 It does not make man brave to lay bis cowardice on his conscience.
 No amount of laundry in your reli. zion can make up for lack of love.
 There's no special merit in cast. ing bread on the water with a hook In it. Many a mans religion would be worth more if it had more office prac. tice.
 It's no use looking for a mans re- ligion when it doesn't get into his looks. Two strings to your bow may be all right if you can keep them clear Of your neck-Chicago Tribune.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02
HISEY SPREADS
 NEW GOSPEL

poverty, crime, ignorance and super stition. Change the environments from positive vices to negative vices, from negative vices to positive vir- tues, from negative virtues to positive virtues, from positive virtues to great good great care and great hope, so ones words, works, thoughts and ac- tions may go out into the world to do good and always be in the world.
 "5. Bring to each person in the gen. eration each day of their lives the lit tie heritage which has been directed by thoughtful persons for ages and make each person live on the interest of money"
 Voicing these principles, Andrew Townsend Hisey pushes his little wheelbarrow over the state of Iowa. With pathetic anxiety to get his prin- ciples before the people he works day and night for fear that some misguid-
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02

Eldora.-Andrew Townsend Hisey independent candidate for governor has started his campaign with a wheelbarrow, a load of tracts and a platform of optimism and inverted so- cial and political economics. He IS tramping from city to town, pushing the wheelbarrow full of campaign lit erature and scattering the sunshine Of his philosophy of brotherly love and weird politics wherever he can draw a crowd. Thus far he has never lacked audiences.
 Hisey is the apostle of a new system of political economy. Early this sum- mer he thought it into state of per lection, and in it's completed form calls it Secular Government" It partakes of exploration and investigation, of evolution and eternal justice. Public ownership is tabooed, competition IS prescribed for labor and kind word is spoken for the trust. One plank of it's novel platform touches on lndl- vidual morals and depicts a meta morphism from vice to virtue. It ad- vises that each person live on the in terest of money.
 The new political economy is out lined by Hisey as follows:
 Secular government stands for good government; liberal scientific govern ment, individual, national, internation- al administration and distribution of justice.
 i'Platform of secular governments;
 "1. To rediscoyer the arts which are lost, and reveal those which are hidden.
 '2. To complete tAe unfinished work of ages, right the wrongs of genera tions past, correct the mistakes, re- trace the errors, and see to it with great care that the ills which affect the race, the foul works and foul plays do not reoccur.
 "3. To secure individual ownership, preserve competition in labor, com- plete the wage-earning system, give to labor it's full share of prosperity bring to trusts, combinations and gi- gantic concerns the confidence of an industrious people and intense patri- otism to the government.
 4. To surmount deplorable tend encies, lift up the fallen, strengthen the weak, connect the broken family chain. double the pleasures, deepen widen and lengthen the lives of the people, and elevate all on the high table land of political science, above
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02

iv 1t an it'll be all r-right, but whin ye ha-ave none yell have fir to keep goin'. I'll ha-aye none iv ye-er doin s on me beat.
 He marched him to the end of his beat and waited for the next patrolman to show up.
 T is tn anarchist that s been an- noyin' me-" he explained, "an' I'll not ha-ave him on me beat"
 But l don't want him." protested the other policeman.
 "Iv cOorse not" said Policeman Flynn. Pass him along. A movin' anarchist II niver bother amy wan"
 Then he winked at his brother off, cer, and the latter, after a pause sufi- cient to enable him to grasp the situa. tion, laughed and took the anarchise in tow. With few words of explana. tiOn the man was later passed on to a third officer, and-well, he crept back to his home about two o'clock the fol- lowing morning. Once afterwards the experience was repeated, and then the story reached the station.
 Barney" laughed the captain, when he heard of 1t, you've solved great problem. If l had my way, I'd send you to Washington to see if you could handle it on larger scale"
 TT w'u'd be easy done." answered Policeman Flynn, "only fir wan thing"
 Whats that?' asked the captain.
 "Afther bit th' gazabos wu'd Parr enough fr to get naturalized an vote an thin tn politicians w'u'd n't lave me lay hand on thim,' asserted Pc liceman Flynn. thereby adding ma. terlaily to his reputation for wisdom
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02

ed ones may vote for some other can" didate before the great light of "sec- ular" government has broken athwart their horizon.
 The requisite number of signatures to have MT. Hisey's name placed on the fall ballot have been secured and the aspirant will be before the public until election day. He has lived in Iowa for more than half a century, having been brought to Tama from his birthplace, Brownsville, Pa, in 1855. He was then two years old. Hitherto, when not doing odd jobs for his neigh bors, he has spent his time in study, evolving the new government plan. In Tama, his home, and Tama coun- ty, beside the big Musquakie Indian reservation, MT. Hisey is a noted char acter, and is considered a genius This is his first plunge into the broader field of state activity.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02
HE sJPPREssEss ANARCHY.
fcopvrieht. by the Century Co.)

Copyright, by the Century CO.,
 Copyright, 1906, by Joseph B. Bowles')
 On a beat to which Policeman Bar ney Flynn was once assigned there was a most troublesome character. He was dangerous or harmless, according to the point of v.ow. If he had been deprived of his tongue he certainly would have been harmless, for ill the matter of physical prowess he was about as meek and unassuming man as one could well find. If he had had a brain at all commensurate with his linguistic powers he also would have been harmless, or perhaps even power for good.
 Policeman Flynn saw crowd gath cred about him one day, and listened to the harangua for a few minutes. Then he gently elbowed his way to the mans side, and suggested, "Ye betther be movin' along"
 This is free country" retorted the man.
 'R-right ye are,' answered Police
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02

boord, says tn ma-an, an don ilke th' r-rules.'
 ".Tbere do be twinty iv us here that likes thim,' says they.
 "''T is no matther,' says tn ma-an. I know more than all tn rlst iV ye' an yell ha-ave fr to change thim.
 "'Ye'd betther be goin' on about ye-er business, says they.
 "I will not, says tn ma-an. Here I am an here I'll shtay, an if ye dont change tn r-rules to suit me idees I'll tear th-house down. he says. Ye're all fools,' he says, an I'm tn only wise ma-an, an I'm goin' to turin loose an show ye thing or two
 They tux him away in an amby- lance," asserted Policeman Flynn, by way of conclusion. 'D' ye see tn pint?"
 No" replied the anarchist.
 If ye don't like tn r-rules fv tn house ye re Twin in along with a lot iv people that was there befoor ye. move back into wan iv ye-er own"
 But I have none," said the anar- chist, at last grasping the point.
 Thin build wan," advised Police man Flynn.
 But, of course, all this wisdom was wasted upon the anarchist He con- tinued to make rabid speeches when ever opportunity offered, and Police man Flynn continued to puzzle his head as to the best method of proce- dure in the matter
 "'T is a shtrange thing" he com mented one day, that so nanny diff f'rint kinds iv la-ads do be hayin' tn sa-ame er-counthry, an'," he add ed, solemnly shaking his head, 'ye niver hear annythin' iy tn father. II luks ba-ad, it do, fir a fact. Judgin be tn broods some iv thim ol' mother counthries turns out, t is like they was married an diyoorced tin or iliven times, an ih' secret iy it ali lies in tn payternity."
 On another occasion he suggested to the anarchist, "Th' la-ad that's always heavin' bricks is tn wan that's sur pr-rised whin he gets wan alongside iv tn head. If yell go home an think iv that it ma-ay save ye some throu- ble."
 At last, however, the policeman out lined a plan of campaign. He decided that a loitering anarchist was a men ace, while an anarchist on the move was harmless. T is only where they shtop that they ra-ake throuble." he said. While they re movin' they ha-ave no chanst. It was after he had been obliged to order his particular an archist to move on" three times in one evening that this great idea came to him. He took the man by the arm and walked him along.
 "To the station?" asked the man bitterly.
 "Niver," answered Policeman Flynn "Ill not do ye that honor. "Pvf thried ivery wa-dy to give ye bit iN sinse," he went on. 'an' see ye ha-avt no pla-ace f'r it in ye-er head. Whir ye ha-ave business here ye can tell ms
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02
Quarryman-Over 16O Pieces Used in Mechanism.

New York.-The tall tower in the picture is not the city hall in Old Amsterdam, the capital of Holland. 1t is a representation of a unique clock entirely of slate, and the man who made it did not pretend to be an artist or a lineal descendant of Michael An gelo.
 MT. Humphrey O. Pritchard, a gift ed quarryman of the little town of Delta, in Pennsylvania, is the author of the remarkable clock. It is cer- tainly an advertisement for Pennsyl- vania slate. If a man can make a wonderful piece of mechanism out of slate, why couldn't he make watches, bicycles, automobiles, overalls, neck ties and even shirt collars out of the slate? This clock was made of a judi cious selection of the same material. It is said that MT. Pritchard used 164 pieces of slate, held together by 23
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02
CLOCK MADE OF SLATE
 IS PERFECT TIMEKEEPER

ness men to miss connections at home. When they are to be at dinner at seven o'clock they often do not ar rive until three and four in the morn ing, and even then are not certain that they are in the right house.
 This clock has a set of cathedral chimes. So beautiful are their tones that one can imagine himself in old Strassburg, Cologne or the Notre Dame, in Paris. It took MT. Pritchard eight months to complete the wonder ful timepiece.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02
DIDN'T BELIEVE
That Coffee Was the Real Trouble.

Some people founder around and take everything that's recommended but finally find that coffee is the real cause of their troubles. An Oregon man says:
 For 25 years I was troubled with my stomach. I was steady cofee drinker, but didn't suspect that as the cause. I took almost anything which someone else had been cured with but to no good. I was very bao last summer and could not work a times.
 "On Dec. 9, 1902, I was taken so bad the doctor said I could not i've over 24 hours at the most, and ! made all preparations to die. l could hardly eat anything, everything ois' tressed me, and I was weak and SICK all over. When in that condition cor fee was abandoned and was put on Postum, the change in my feelings came quickly after the drink that was poisoning me was removed.
 "The pain and sickness fell away from me and I began to get well day by day, so 1 stuck to 1t untll ho" am well and strong again, can ea' heartily, with no headache, near trouble or the awful sickness ol LII. old coffee days. I drink all l WISH o' Postum without any harm and enJo' 1t immensely.
 "This seems like strong Stoi', but 1 would refer you to the rHs' Natl Bank, the Trust Banking oon. pany, or any merchant of Grah' Pass. Ore, in regard to my stahuins, and I will send sworn statenen' of this if you wish. You can aIso u, uT my name" Name given by fo''"' Go, Battle Creek, Mich ,..
 Still there are many who peas,sss panss ently fool themselves by saying ,", fee don't hurt me" A ten days Ak. of Postum in it's place will teii ,,ss truth and many times save There's q reason" a
 Look for the little book. "Ihe H'"- to WellVille." in pkgS.
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02
CONFESSIONS OF DoDD GAsToN.

I have noticed that about the only place silver threads among the gold" are really popular is in song.
 feel reasonably sure of one thing: When I die nobody Is going to claim that 1t was the result of overwork.
 I do not much mind playing against a visiting man, but I do hate to 'Ee booked in competition with baby.
 Nothing would so completely recon- cile me to death as the appearance, at my bedside, of some of my relatives. I would really like to be fatter, but realize that I cannot afford it. Being fatter would mean a new dress suit.
 find that every young girl has a wild desire to wear her hair up" and every old girl has the same desire to appear with down"
 have noticed that the only time tho banana does much business is at a season of the year when 1t has no competition.
 find that one of the hardest duties of the dramatic critic is to reconcile the average society play with the aver age stage furniture
 About all the ambition have left iS to grow rich enough to have a hack waiting for me while l lounge around inside smoking and "gassing. To peka Capital.
 The quest of happiness requires no
The log cabin Democrat., 1906-08-02

man Flynn. CT is as free fir ye to Fave as it is fir ye to come to-. Niver a ma-an is holdin' ye."
 The man moved on. He said some thing about the minions of the law and the bloodhounds of monopoly but something in the expression of Po- liceman Hymns face convinced him that it was wise 70 move on. Still, he lived in that vicinity, and it was not his nature to remain long quiet. So a few days later Flynn found him hold ing forth in the same strain again, and again he forced him to move on. But the policeman was troubled.
 Tt is hazard to know what to do, he told his wife. "He do be ma-akin' lot of throuble an shtirrin' up lot iv the ignrant gazabos, but if I run him in twill ma-ake a martyr iv him, no liss; an thin,' he added with a sigh, 'Pd be at the nuisance iv appear in ag'in him in Coort, an what wu'ud I sa-ay to tn judge? Ono! l think see meSilf.
 "'This la-ad, says I to tn judge, is shootin' off his mouth an sayin' hazard things ag'ir tn governmint.' "'D' ye think?' says tn judge to me, this gr-reat goyeTnmnt is afraid iv tn idle vaporin's iv wan misguided wretch? T is the worryin' iv thim kind iv min that brings thim to mo- tice an lakes tim dangerous. Lave thim alone an no wan II notice thim.
 Thin tn pa-arers come out an ta-alk iv tn policy iv rap-prissiOn ac- cordin' to tn ROoshian pla-an an tn ha-arm that's done be it. An afther that tiS Barney Flynn on tn carpet in tn capt'in's office fir ma-alin' fool iv himsilf."
 Having thus explained the troubles that beset official life in a way that will be appreciated by men in much higher positions, Policeman Flynn pre- pared to drop the subject in order to give his exclusive attention to his pipe and his paper. But Mrs. Flynn was not at the end of her resources.
 Why don't ye ha-ave a ta-alk with him?" she asked "Ye might tell him tn throuble he's maxim ye."
 This seemed so absurd to Policeman Flynn that he only laughed. Never theless, the idea took root, and one day, when opportunity offered, he opened a conversation with the anar- cbist
 ''I suppose" ha remarked, that t Is no use discuS5in' th' matther with ye, but don't ye see ye're wrong, an ye're only makin' throuble fir ye-er- silf an fir me-"
 II have right to my views" assert ed the anarchist.
 Sure ye ha-aye," admitted Police man Flynn, but ye ha-aye no r-right to be fOorcin' thim on others"
 They force theirs on me-" protested the anarchist.
 Policeman Flynn gave this phase of the question thoughtful consideration before replying.
 Was ye bor-rn in this counthry?" he asked.
 "No," was the reply.
 Are ye a citizen iv it?"
 "No."
 "Ye ma-ake me think iv felly l hear-rd iv,' said Policeman Flynn, ever ready to point a moral with a story. This felly had shtrange idees iv r-runnin' his house, an t was all fright while he was r-runnin' his own house an not botherin amy wan ilse. But wan da-ay he moved over to d boordin'- house.
 Come in, says tn other boorders. 50 long as ye pa-ay ye-er boord an live up to tn r-rules we re glad fir to ha-ave ye'
 "'Rnt l d0n,f infind Er fo na " mo