davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-18

1t is rumored that Count Boni is
coming over. Get the tar bucket ready
and rip up a few old pillows.
Archbishop Ireland was, alas, the in
noeent bystander when the Roosevelt
Storer shooting sprung up.
No doubt Santa Claus will bring Gro
yer Cleveland a pair of skates, for he
lives on Lake Carnegie.
Strange to say, the railroads never
offered Uncle Sam any rebates on the
mails carried for him.
When you have remembered all your
friends at Christmas time, think for a
moment of the poor.
The war with Japan and the war in
France were both conducted in yellow
newspapers only.
The colored brother is up against a
problem of his own. 1t is the white
immigrant.
Stuyyesant Fishs "anarchistie rich"
display, was not a red flag, but one OF
long green.
Ex-senator Brown was not a Nor
mon, although he had some of the
symptoms.
A picture of Raphael, who died in
poverty was sold for 100000 in Berlin
last week.
Senator elect Jeff Davis full name
is not Jefferson Davis, but Jeffries
Davis.
Senator Dubois has been a free lance
ever since he was defeated for re-elec-
ton.
Congressmen's stockings will be
filled with special messages at any
rate.
Merchants who are selling Christmas
goods are strangers to an eight-hour
law.
Anthony Comstock is going to see
the Cherokee strip. He is very alert.
--s-
President Roosevelt seems to have
had hundred pairs of eyes in Panama.
-.s.-
Ninety-three little Japs in the public
schools do not constitute yellow peril.
A contemporary refers to Miss Tar
bell ION the tariff" With both feet?
Evening clothes, says New Yorker,
are not popular in Boston.
-.s.---
Snow in Kansas and the good old
summer time in Alabama!
Congress did not have the courage
of its salary convictions.
At any rate, the North pole will
never be May pole.
At least, the Congressional Record
is not yellow.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-18

Washington Bureau Age-Herald 1921
G street. N. w.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-18

The man who sleeps in a folding bed In
a fiat that has folding doors and puts
his clothes in folding trunk and bathes
in a folding bathtub; who writes his notes
on a table that folds up against the wall
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-18

ION Spending Christmas" writes a
newspaper sage. oh ludi make it ION
Spending Money"
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07

never been what is termed individual
1ty-unlesS Robinson Crusoe may be
considered an example, and he was q
fictitious person. The Socialist knows
that the distinguishing characteristic
of human nature is it's Elasticity He
has discovered that in every historical
epoch the prevailing mode of capital
ism and exchange and the social or
ganization necessarily following from
1t, form the basis upon which it is
built up, and from which alone can
be explained the political, social
and intellectual history of that epoch
Why Socialism? Because Webster,
the standard authority of most news
paper offices, says it is a theory OF
society that advocates d more precise,
orderly and harmonious arrangement
OF the social arrangement than that
which has hitherto prevailed"
Why Socialism? Because the United
States government is authority that
there are two men for every job in
the United States, and because since
the dawn of capitalism there has never
been jobs enough to go around.
Why, Socialism? Because capitalism
will fall of it's own weight. AS math-
ematical proposition, it may be stated
that John d. Rockefeller or his son
Will III less than thirty years legally
own every foot of land in the United
States. and if left unchecked, may le-
gally tell the rest of US chumps to get
off of his part of the earth.
How are you going to bring about
this delightful state of affairs?" may
be asked. The answer is that the peo-
pie who do the work of the world are
rapidly becoming class conscious and
their program is to take possession of
the machinery of production and dis
tribution and pay themselves the full
product of their labor-to keep every
thing for themselves, leaving absolute
ly nothing for drones. This is the So
cial revolution now at work in the
minds of men, and soon it will burst
forth in all it's grandeur and a state
of social organization inaugurated
wherein there will be no incentive to
cheat and rob and lie and commit the
thousand and one other crimes for
which capitalism is directly RESPONSE
BILE.
In conclusion it may be said that
every Socialist has scientific chip on
his shoulder and is just aching to have
some one take rap at it.
CHARLES l.. ANDREWS,
2351s North Grand Avenue
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
REFORM OF ELECTION
LAWS Is THE AIM
NATIONAL CONFERENCE OPENED
IN NEW YORK
Meeting Being Held Under the AUS
pices of the Civic Federation.
President Strauss Delivers d Stir
ring Opening Address
By Associated Press.

By Associated Press.
NEW YORK, March 6.-Delegates
from nearly every section of the coun-
try were present today at the opening
of the second national conference for
the reform of primary election laws
and corrupt practices acts, under the
auspices of the National Civic fedora
ton.
Oscar S. Strauss, president of the
conference, opened the meeting with
an address on Reform of the Primary
and Election Laws" He declared that
there is no subject today of more vital
Importance to the people of this coun-
try, irrespective of party affiliations,
than that the principles OF government
shall be handed down from generation
to generation pure and undeiiled.
"The brave and fearless conflict be-
tween honest and dishonest politics has
seldom, if ever" he said, won so signal
and precious victories for the moral
law as were achieved by Governor Folk
of Missouri, Mayor Weaver of Phila-
delphia, Senator Colby Of New Jersey,
Jerome in New York and by the prose-
cutting attorney i'll Boston against long
entrenched bossism."
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
ANCIENT FIGURES

The state railroad commissioners of
Californla-God bless 'em; who knows
their names ?-have awakened from
their long sleep to make a customary
annual report to the governor. They
show an increase of railway mileage
during the year 1904 of 29S1S miles.
They also show gross passenger and
freight earnings of $S4,392,115 for the
year ending June 30, 1904. as against
SIG, 99S 1886 the previous year. Operat-
ing expenses were $44, ,953,716, as against
S41, ,O7S, ,16S in 1908. Now, will anybody
in California explain to a puzzled and
wondering people what earthly good
these figures are to anybody this side
the pearly gates? This is the year
1906, and yet the commissioners bring
their statistics down to only 1904. If
there is one thing more than another
calculated to convince the public of the
utter uselessness Of the California state
railroad commission, this sort of ere
port" ought to clinch the argument
fore and aft. The commission reminds
one of the ancient and honorable life
guards of the English king, who, once
year, on Guy Fawkes day, rig them
selves up in regalia and go searching
with lanterns through the basement of
the houses of parliament. Only the
commission doesn't exert itself even to
that extent.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
CHIEF END IN CIVIC ART

From the Century.
To make utility the vehicle of beau
ty is a chief end i'll civic art. Use and
beauty have too commonly been re-
garded as necessarily separated at
tributes; things Of utility must be
commonplace, and it is imnaterial if
the commonplace be ugly; it's very ug-
liness makes us appreciate all the more
the beauty of things rare. kept precious
and apart-that is the view the multi
tude has been led to take, and from
which even many artists are not eX-
empt. 1t was an old-fashioned custom
to isolate all the nice things of the
household in the best room, which was
too precious to live in. But the mod
ern practice is to make the whole house
as beautiful as possible. We now see
that just because the best room" went
unused, its contents, deemed beautiful,
really made it a chamber of horrors.
A forced familiarity with ugliness dulls
the taste for beauty. So unless the eyes
are wonted to the beautiful by see
ing it on every side, resident in the
most common things, beauty at its
best cannot be given to the things set
apart to wear it as a garment of state,
as in statues, monuments and public
buildings,
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07

The banking house Of Henry Clews
& Co.. New York, suggests that mas
much as the real cause of the strained
relations between Germany and France
is the determination Of Germany to
obtain bank charter that will finance
Morocco, a good solution of the dis
pute wo-'d be to organize in this coun-
try an international bank for Morocco,
with a suitable capital, and allot a
quarter interest to the capitalists of
France and similar interest to Ger
many, the institution to be called the
United States-Morocco International
bank. And the funny part of the sug-
gestion is that it is made in all seri-
BUSINESS. Can Henry Clews & Co. see
Germany and France taking a quarter
interest each in a bank half owned
by Uncle Samuel? If so, they can see a
long distance.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07

centuries, a slow growth, made up from
all the other languages of earth. What
ever of good it has found in these
others it has appropriated freely, and
in the main, as a whole, retaining the
original spelling and pronunciation.
Thus we have a polyglot that is as
virile as it is fascinating, the most
elastic, growing, expressive and all
satisfying language on earth; spoken
by more nations ana people than any
other and spreading faster than all the
rest combined. And it is this that Dr..
Andrews would reduce to its mere
bones and sinews, eliminating from it
every characteristic that makes it
unique. strong and individual.
That the Andrews movement will
spread we have no fear. Had there
been need or wish for it, as stated, it
would have come about long ago. That
it is impracticable, undesirable and
drastic is self evident. And that it is
foolish and "to laugh" one need only,
to verify, refer to those original and
humorous practitioners of the cult DR..
Andrews advocates, the late lamented
Artemus Ward, Bill Nye and Josh
Billings, our true and consistent
whole hog or none" phoneticists.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
SPELLING REFORM" CRANKS

Chancellor Z. Benjamin Andrews of
the University of Nebraska has broken
out again in one of his semi-anuual
crusades for Spelling reform" This
time, instead of wanting to renovate
the whole English language in one
fierce sirocco, he mildly suggests that
ten or a dozen words be spelled 'fonet-
ikally." and when the world has assim-
Hated them, another bunch may be
| likewise handled. Thus in the course
of q score of centuries or so we shall
have brought our entire mother tongue
Into u condition where every word will
be spelled just as it sounds, and those
Of us who survive-if any do-will find
life so much easier!
DIR. L. Benjamin Andrews is dream
| ing again. Doesn't the good doctor sup
pose that if there were any real need
desire or demand for "fonetik' spelling
it would have been accomplished long
ere this? In a way, there has been
and probably always will be certain
tendency toward this end. We now
write it "honor" instead of honour
for instance-though our English
brethren still cling to the original "u.''
In so far as these changes come about
naturally and of their own accord, they
are accepted by the best writer's and
take their place in the dictionaries, just
as have others, hundreds of them
since the days Of Chaucer and Shake.
speare. But any further attempts tc
mutilate or emasculatc our orthogra.
ply are iconoclastic and needless.
Besides, there is the poetic side to it
The English tongue is the product O
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07

Congressman Rucker of Missouri said
in the house yesterday that with a
tariff revision platform and William j.
Bryan as its candidate the Democratic
party would, as a cyclone sweep the
country" We have heard that before,
and it always sounds good, but while
tariff revision is as necessary as any
thing else in the way of reform, and
is possibly a paramount issue, there
isn't enough in it singly to sweep the
country, even with Bryan. Sweeping
the country is not as easy as it looks,
and we must have a more aggressive
declaration of principles than we have
had in the past If we are to do any
sweeping. TO be honest and frank
tariff revision and Bryan" are only
good enough as far as they go. Other
and equally -reat issues are crowding
upop the country for settlement
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07

The orange growers OF Southern
California have grievances that need
redress and they are right in saying
that California should have an entire
ly new set of congressmen-repres
tatives who will represent the people.
But they will make a mistake if they
seek such redress through a third
party movement. The Democratic
party is organizing a campaign that is
designed to accomplish the very pur-
poses which the orange growers hope
to attain. Third party movements
have universally failed of their OBJ
ject, chiefly because they lack organ
ization and the power of cohesion. The
Democratic party will be found by the
California orange growers prepared to
make the fight and to win the victory
for them. t,stsi.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
THE POSTAL CARD FIEND
From the American Magazine.

From the American Magazine.
The postal tiend will not thank you
for sending him a package of un-
stamped picture cards, fresh from the
store. Not only must they be prop
erly mailed, but they are considered
imperfect IL the postmark should hap
pen to be on the back instead of on
the face. Scores of complaints are re-
ceived in the course of year at the
New York postoffice from collectors
who have received cards which have
been postmarked- after the manner
pursued with regard to letters. These
causes of dissatisfaction were made
known by the recipients of the wrong
ly-stamped pasteboards to the post
master general, to whom the evidence
was sent. Investigation was made
concerning each case, and now it is
only at very rare intervals, possibly
once in three months, that wall from
the cardomaniacs reaches a paternal
government.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
RAILWAY BRIEFS

II. +. Huntington is expected to ar
rive i'll Los Angeles the latter part of
the week, after several weeks visit i'll
New York city and eastern points. Mr..
Huntington is now in San Francisco
to attend the marriage of his daughter.
3. L. Winchell, president of the
Rock Island road, is at the Alexandria.
Joseph D. Baker and party of Fred
erick, Md, arrived in Los Angeles yes
terday i'll the private car Signet, which
was attached to passenger train No.
on the Southern Pacific.
Adolphus Busch ard family will
leave PASADENA on Wednesday in his
private car, Adolphus, over the South
ern Pacific for Santa Barbara. After
Il few days stay there they will leave
for San Francisco. They expect to
leave for st. Louis about April /.
S. A. Bishop. claim adjuster for the
Southern Pacific, with headquarters at
San Francisco, is a guest at the West
minister hotel.
II. 3. Titcomb, resident engineer for
the Southern Pacific, with headquarters
at Bakersfield, is in Los Angeles. Mr..
Titcomb expects to make his head
quarters here in the near future.
William Sproule. freight traffic man
ager of the Southern Pacific, with head
quarters at San Francisco, is in Los
Angeles on a business trip.
f. II. Widney. formerly city passen-
ger agent for the Pennsylvania lines,
is now connected with the advertising
department of the Balloon route excur-
sions.
Joseph McElroy, Pacific coast pas
senger agent for the M, K. & T. rail-
road, with headquarters in San Fran
cisco, is in Los Angeles.
The second Golden gate tour over
the Pennsylvania road is now in San
Diego. The party will arrive in Los
Angeles about March II.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
BEAUTY OF MACHINERY
From The Reader.

From The Reader.
Certain people imagine that machin-
cry is ugly, uninteresting and disagree
able. Had they a finer and clearer
vision they would see that the ugliness
is in the misuse of the machine by in
competent or careless men and women.
The well made and well cared for ma
chine has Il beauty of its own that
comes of strength, simplicity. precision,
truth and harmony with the divine
laws that control the universe. We
may stand beside a giant band saw
While with screaming clamor it rips u
huge log into materials for home. To
the clear vision it is luminous with "a
strange beauty, a beauty we are only
just beginning to understand. Its bril-
liant blade flying with incredible speed
is making a roof-tree to shelter a hap
py mother,
In another place we see a machine
whose purring cutters are shaping
beautiful white pine into holdings Of
classic form to decorate a home-mak-
i'll million feet of molding all
alike. Perhaps some sensitive soul
C"ies: "How distressing; so mechanical,
so monotonous! How sad it all isl"
Dear soul! Creep back to your dusty
studio, is it not better that ten thou
sand homes should have graceful
form on stair and sash and door, than
That one nome nave handmade mold
ings and the others none at all? The
cutters of this machine can and do ac-
curately produce the splendid curves
designed by the sculptors and the ar
chitects who made Greek temples glor-
ious. The machine is a missionary of
the beautiful, bringing the best of art
forms to every home, so that even
door frame may be altogether lovely?
Machine holdings are not ugly be-
cause cheap. They are beautiful and
cheap.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
Back East

I'd like to go back east again-oh, just
for a little while!-
You couldn't get me there to stay! To
make those fellows smile
When they'd all stand about and listen
to my tales of here!
They wouldn't credit half I'd say - and
at that half, they'd sneer!
I'd like to go back east again-about a
week or two
To run into a blizzard once, or half a
foot of snow!
While out here flowers are blooming g
bright, kissed by the breezes sweet,
Down there they're fighting, frozen up,
the hail and gale and sleet.
I'd like to go back east again--Just stay
a day or two.
TO catch a breath that's icy, and nip
my fingers through.
And then, I'd more appreciate life joy
out here we get
But I'd start back again before I got
quite there, I'll bet!
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07

The police department made the as
tonishing discovery yesterday that
there is no law providing for the pun
ishment of persons who may. either in
malice or sport, shoot holes in the
American flag. Chinese who used the
stars and stripes as targets in shooting
galleries could not be punished, but
the licenses. of the Japanese who own
the galleries were promptly revoked.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
HAMILTON RETURNS
TO FACE THE MUSIC
NEW YORK LIFE INSURANCE MAN
STANDS PAT
Sails Under an Assumed Name From
Foreign Port-Says He Gave Mc-
Call Proper Vouchers for All the
Money He Expended
By Associated Press.

BY Associated Press.
NEW YORK, March 6.-Andrew
Hamilton returned to New York today
on the steamer Deutschland, on which
he was registered under the name of
w. Milton. Mr.. Hamilton was at the
head of the Legislative bureau of the
New York Life Insurance company and
had charge of the Legislative work of
several of the large companies. EX
planning the cause of his return to the
United States. Mr.. Hamilton said to-
day:
Il heard something about criminal
proceedings and here 1 am"
Mr.. Hamilton's connection with the
New York Life was mentioned at
length in a recent report OF the Fowler
committee. and it was urged that he
should return to New York. John A.
Mccall, shortly before his death, sold
his Long Branch home in order to
return to the New York Life moneys
which 1t is alleged he advanced to
Hamilton without proper vouchers.
Vouchers for Expenses
Mr.. Hamilton said that he gave the
former president of the New York Life
vouchers for all expenditures, and that
to any and all of these vouchers Mr..
Mccall would have given certificate
of indisputable character. He said that
he registered under an assumed name
on the Deutschland in order to have
his return voyage free from annoyance.
Il have something to say" he said,
"but not much. l know practically
nothing as to the nature Of the Fowler
report.
What L suppose you want to know
is why / have returned. Well, l heard
something about criminal proceed
ings and here L am. This signifies
that though my health is far from re-
established 1 am ready to accept any
challenge implied by such proceedings"
you have come back to face the
music?" he was asked.
Eyes, discordant or otherwise"
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
WANTS CERTAIN PRIVILEGES
Great Britain Sends Communication to
United States Concerning
DingIey Act
IN Associa Id Press.

LONDON, March 6.-Communica-
tions have passed between Great Brit
ain and the United States respecting
the formers contention that she should
participate in the privileges granted to
other nations under the Dingley act
in return for the reciprocal concessions
which Great Britain has made on SINH
lar representations to other countries
granting the most favored nation
treatment.
Great Britain also takes the ground
that, having no tariff, she, of all corn-
tries, should be favorably treated
commercially.
1t was stated in the house today that
negotiations on this subject had been
opened with America. This is incor-
rect. Thus far only communications
have passed.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
RAILROAD INTERESTS CONFLICT
Gould and Ramsay Prepare for Duel
at Lorain, Ohio
BY Associated Press.

at Lorain, Ohio
By Associated Press
CLEVELAND o., March 6-By an
authoritative statement made by
Cleveland representatives of the in
terests concerned, 1t becomes positive
that George Gould and James Ramsay
have chosen weapons for a railroad
duel, for which Lorain, O., is to be the
scene.
Reports from Lorain are that Mr..
Ramsay is said to be back of the OBJ
tions taken of 5000 acres near Oak
point, possibly with a view of estab-
fishing townsite or steel plant there.
IL is already reported that Ramsay
has the Lake Erie & Pittsburg right Of
way and grade from Lorain to Cleve-
land with the intention to use the
same for a Cleveland terminal. A
Pittsburg line is also believed to form
a part of his ultimate plan.
Mr.. Ramsay, it is announced, has
organized the Lorain Southern railroad
to tap the southern Ohio coal fields and
the Ohio river
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
RAILROAD WORLD
JEFFERY MADE PRESIDENT OF
GOULD LINE
Stockholders of Western Pacific Elect
Officers and Directors-AnnuaI
Report Shows Large
Increase
BY Associate Press.

BY Associated Press.
SAN FRANCISCO, March 6.-The
stockholders OF the Western Pacific
Railroad company today elected the
following directors: George j. Gould,
e. II. Jeffery (presidenD, V. G. Bogue
(vice president and chief englneer), w.
j. Bartnett (vice president and general
oounseD, Edwin Hawey, w. w. Miller,
j. T.. Evans general counseD w. j.
Shotwell, J. Dalzell Brown treasurer),
Warren Olney, Warren Olney, jr, G. w.
Slack and H. II. Mccartney.
The following officers who are not
directors were also chosen: Secretary,
+. M. Bradfoot; assistant secretary, L.
r. Bush; assistant treasurer, F. G.
Lewis,
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07
TEACHER BECOMES DEMENTED
Riverside Police Search All Night for
Woman Lost in the Nearby
Hills
Special to The Herald.

bpeCIdI 10 IIIt IIVIdIU.
RIVERSIDE, March 6.-After being
out all night while the police We're
searching Mount Rubidoux for her,
Mrs Gertrude Russell, a kindergarten
teacher of this city, was found today
in a demented condition hiding behind
q palm tree.
She took her little pupils for noun
tain climb yesterday. but failed to re-
turn with her charges, Search was at
once instituted, but she was not dis
covered until this morning.
She walked all night in adjacent
fields, but is not able to account for
her condition. she says.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-03-07

Joint statehood" says a visiting
lawyer from Arizona, sis against the
cardinal principles of the people of the
territories, irrespective of party" OF
course it is; and if the Republican
party shall finally foist joint statehood
upon Arizona and New Mexico, it will
pay the penalty of a political crime.
When the next national elections are
over there will be no Republican party,