Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1906-02-07

QueStlons.'-The SchoOlmaeter,
Bobbie-what are his political con.
victions? Jobbie-Oh, he's liable to
be convicted at any time.-Town Ton.
les.
knicker-What became of Chauf-
feur? Bocker-He absent-mindedly
crawled under mule to see why IL
didn't go.-New York Sun.
Judge-Six months. Cos Cob Con-
All. wot relief! Now kin stop
worrying about where I'm going ter
spend de summer-Puck.
But why do you live In the city IL
you don't like lit" 81 have to live
here to make money enough to keep
up my country place.'-Ex.
knicker-So your wife went to the
country to study natures book? Book
cr-Yes, and from the size Of her ho-
tel bill 1t must be among the six best
sellcrs.-Ex.
Mrs. knlcker-How long will you
be away this summer? Mrs. Booker
Il don't know. shall stay $1,000
at the seaside and $500 at the noun.
tains.-New York Sun.
Doctor Ito pressing credltor)-It you
must bring your bill every day, at
least you might come with your head
tied up. SO that people would think
you were patient!-London Tit Bits.
A young theologian named Fiddle
Refused to accent hio ,3avrao.
For" said he, "'tis enough to be Fid.
die,
Without being Fiddle d. D."
Puck.
Benham-I have had my life in.
sllred for five thousand dollars In your
favor. Mrs. Benham-Well, I'll be
glad to have the money, but think
you've overestimated your value
Smart Set.
Say" asked the first messenger
boy, got any novels to swap? II
got 'Snake-foot Dams Revenge" re-.
piled the other. rs 1t a long story?"
Nav! Ye kin finish 1t easy in two
messages. Philadelphia Press.
What Is your order, sIr?" asked
the waiter. Bring me some frenzied
eggs" said the man with the napkin
tucked under his chin. And presently
there was a distinctly audible scram-
BILE in the kitchen.-C Chicago Tribune.
At the Hub.-A New Yorker was
visiting in Boston. Seeing parrot in
a cage, he asked: Does Polly want
a cracker?" II require no sustenance
from you whatever" replied the Back
Bay bird. with MISUNDERSTANDING.
That Mrs. Snaggs is too much Of
aristycraft fur me to mingle Wild"
"How's that?" "She was knocked
down by pushcart and she had it
put into the paper dat she was hit BY
an automobile."-Detro Free Press.
Boss" began the beggar, won't
yer help poor" See herey' in
terrupted Goodheart. II gave you
some money last week" well, gee
whiz! amt yer earned any more
since philadelphia Public Ledger.
Mother-Willie, you must stop ask
ing your father questions. Don't you
/ oSSs ShSy ohAOy AlHnS w llIle-XNU III !
1t amt my questions that annoy him.
It's the answers he can't give that
make him mad.-Philadelphi Ledger.
See here" cried the bill collector,
this bill I've been bringing here so
often is getting worn out, and 30 il
my patience!' Gee whiz, man," re-
piled the debtor, 80 is your welcome,
If you only knew t!"-Philadelphia
| Press.
Miss Peechie-I want hammock
that will not break down. Polite clerk
Can't guarantee any Of 'em, miss.
Miss Peechie-Why, that's strange!
Polite Clerk-Not Mt al. We'd do 1t IL
you were homely girl. but
| Cleveland Leader.
81 think" lie said, that am now
just about even with the world -
Even with the world?" Even with
the world?" Yes. figure that I
have now reached point where owe
Just about rs many people as l don't
owe."-Brooklyn Eagle.
Tramp-It is needless to ask you
the question, madame. You know
what want. Lady-Yes, l know
what you want badly, but I've only
one bar Of soap in the house. and the
servant is using it. Come again some
other time.-Glasgow Times.
He-As soon as We are married,
dearest, will take out an endowment
insurance policy. SO that you may DO
protected. She-Don't you think you'd
better take out an accident insurance
policy now, George? You haven't spo-
ken to father yet, you know.-Phlla-
delphia Press.
You claim that the railways dis
criminate against you!' YES" an
swered Farmer Corntossel. Three of
my neighbors have got damages for
COWS that were killed. I've let my
cattle stray all over the track and the
pesky engineer refuses to hit any one
Of EN- Washington Star.
A little boy once told his friend, an
other youngster, that his mother was
accustomed to give him nickel every
morning SO that he should take his
cod-liver oil in peace and quietness.
well, what do you do with it?" in
quired the little friend. Mother puts
1t in money-box until there is dol
lar "And what then?" "Why then
mother buys another bottle Of cod
liver oil with it."-The Pathfinder.
Il
which He wmsmpt
Say" said Heller, don't call me
the boss Of the ward That's too COM
mon. Make 1t ruler or something like