davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
JAYHA WKER JOTS

The story comes from Gaylord that
a well full of buttermilk has been dis
covered up there.
Walter Johnson accounts for the
snow storm on the theory that The
grounding took three days of grace.
Mr.. Trotter and family. who have
been living at Cawker. are very pro-
perly going to move to Speed, Kan.
Cawker City has man who drives
$1,000 team to his farm wagon kan
sas farmers can afford most anything
these days.
Wichita alleges that its new city di-
rectory viii show a population Of 40
255. Which means that the actual
population is about $4,000.
The Globe says the Atchison coal
expenses" Well. why doesn't some
one push it over the verge?
Lebanon Argus: Four well filed
grain bags were on the dray the other
day. not much Of a load but it took
$40 to pay for what was in them. It
was alfalfa seed.
The Hutchinson News wants to
know If some one can't quietly tip It
off to the grounding that the wheat
crop is all right, and that the stock
has been sufficiently watered.
Ed Madison is not the only famous
citizen of Dodge City. Mike Sutton
has had a 3-year-old PAGER named af-
ter him, and the horse lowered the
track record at Hot Springs recently.
The way it is worked in Emporia
according to the Gazette: A boy was
invited to a card party last night
When he arrived two girls met him
and informed him it was too stormy
for the other girls to come, but that
there was a good show in town The
card party cost him s4.50.
New industry item from the Dodge
City be-Republican: There is a
man IN Ellinwood who wants to es-
tablish a iackrabbit cannery in Dodge
City. It is understood that he is not
looking for a bonus" All he wants
Is to know that the supply Of rabbits
is large enough. A great many people
believe that the rabbit cannery is a
Joke, but It isn't. There is a man at
Ellinwood who is making a fortune IN
this business.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
BFR. WHITES DIAGNOSIS,

The author Of What's the Matter
With Kansas7" has now undertaken
to tell what's the matter with Hocn.
And in way Mr.. White has succeed
ed. The editor of the Emporia Ga
zette has always been d warm ad-
mirer Of Governor Hoch, 50 he cannot
be accused Of censuring the governor
undulv.
Boiled down, Mr Whites diagnosis
Of the trouble is that Governor Hoch
Is long on good intentions but short
on performance. That is why the
people OF Kansas have been disap-
pointed in him.
After calling attention to the new
law Just adopted in Ohio making two
cents a mile the legal passenger rate
IN that state, and after delivering
himself of a few general observations
on the pernicious influence OF the rail-
road pass. Mr. White says
Governor Hoch is a great man to
talk, but if he actually wanted to do
something he could assemble the leg
islature in special session before the
next Republican convention. and get
a law making it a crime to offer a
delegate to a convention a pass, and
reduce the railroad fare in Kansas o
the bravest man in Kansas-on the
stump; but when you get him in
room and talk to him man to man,
he can be handled. The railroad at
torneys know this, and when Hoch
gets a good impulse they send a smart
lawyer to tell him that he can not
follow it without getting the party or
the state or himself into trouble. And
when they have talked the edge of
his impulse they leave him. The peo-
pie Of Kansas have no smart lawyer
to appear before the governor for
them; so the political railroads go
right ahead sewing Kansas up in a
sack, while the governor is thinking
high and noble thoughts The terri
BILE conviction is forced upon the peo-
Die that E. w Hoch is a great think
er-irrefutable in his logic; indomita
BILE in his conclusions: a Samson
with syllogisms but-afHicted with
paresis, blind staggers. bots and 10
conotor -ataxia when he goes to put
his conclusions into action"
BY the way, is Governor Hoch still
carrying annual railroad passes on all
railroads in Kansas-those that 30
not advertise in the Marion Record as
well as those that do? In several 9TH
er states the governors have not only
abiured the railroad pass personally.
but they are making a strong fight
against it. Ought not the governor OF
Kansas to do as well on this sub
iect as the governors of Missouri IL
Hnois, Indiana, Wisconsin, Minnesota
and Nebraska.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
oUAKER REF1EcTToNs.


From the Philadelphia Record ]
Hook-"They say a sailor has a wife
in every port" Nye-fSo wonder he
goes to sea-"
Marriage" says the Cynical Bach
elor, 'is a life sentence that takes moth
ing off for good behavior"
Nippan-t'E4e is always talking about
success in business being a matter ~
luck" Tuck How many times has
he failed?"
Guzzler-'I find I can't stand as
much to drink as I used to-" Wigwag
well. there comes a time in every
mans life when he is laid out on a
bier"
Hubbubs-ssWhat did that dog cost
you ?" Subbubs - Fifty dollars"
Hubbubs-'Isn't that a eood bit?H
Subbubs-"Oh. that includes sA5 re-
wards at different times"
Nell@'sHes q charming fellow
Belle-"What did he talk about ?" Nell
why, come to think Of 1t, he never
said a word the whole evening. He
just sat and listened to me"
Wigg-"Some parts Of New york
are pretty tough 90 Wagg="Yes. the
last time was there saw a man shot
on the East Side" Wigg-"On fhe
east side2 Which way was he going -
Young Lawyer-''What will be your
line Of defense in the case of that man
charged with bigany2" Old Lawyer
There is only one defense in a case OF
bigamy, my boy, end that is insanity"
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22

in Topeka probably eight times last
year. he doesn't know the location Of
a single joint. OF course they are there
but no signs are displayed and no one
knows where they are from the street.
Topeka being the capital city where
hundreds Of conventions are held each
year and a city Of churches should be
better than all the other towns in the
state Of anywhere near its size. And
it is. Topeka is not IN a position to
point the finger Of scorn at other towns
in the state. but for sissy editors to
rave about Topeka's condition is unjust
and hypocritical. Take Leavenworth,
for instance. AS for badness there is
no comparison between the two cities.
Also look at Kansas City. Kansas. No
doubt many other towns in the state
are just as bad. There is no desire
to excuse Topeka No doubt it is much
worse than Clay Center, which is per-
haps the c1eanest city in Kansas. But
on the other hand Topeka is probably
far above the towns of the state that
are anywhere near its size. At least
credit should be given Topeka for the
fact that all three newspapers fought
the Schlitz combine in the recent coun-
ty primaries and that the city voted for
a dry county at Saturdays election
OF course everybody knows that con-
ditions in Topeka are far better than
they are in Wichita, or Leavenworth,
or in the town at the mouth OF the
Kaw. But Topeka realizes that it is
no defense for her because she is not
as bad as some other town. Topeka
has no desire to be pharisaical. She
wishes to be law-abiding simply for
her own good.
Nevertheless the good words of the
Times are appreciated and will be duly
remembered.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
coon WORDS FOR TOPEKA.

Topeka has come in for so much
censure from the Kansas press during
the last three months because of condi-
tions here that it is refreshing to hear
something on the other side. Topeka
people could not honestly deny that
there was much that was wrong here
in the state capital. and the Topeka
newspapers could not put up a good
defense against the charges. but the
Clay Center Times comes to the front
and points out some of the good things
about Topeka. contrasting 1t with other
big towns in Kansas.
Some of the newspapers of the
state" says the Times, have had a
coed deal to say lately concerning the
unholiness CT Topeka. Some Of the
editors have written in a HiDDant vein,
some in a more serious mood, but all
have endeavored to make it appear
that Topeka and Shawnee county are
but little better than hell. It strikes
the writer. who visits Topeka every
two or three months. that it is all
wrong. Topeka does not smell Of the
birthstone and fire. A visitor in the
city can walk UP Kansas avenue to
Tenth street and back again on the
other side OF the street to the river
without knowing that there is a joint
or brotheI in town. Probably II he
was hunting them he could find both
but he has to hunt The writer was
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
PoINTED PARAGRAPHs.

IFrom the Chicago News-J
Be good and you'll be happy-may-
be.
Even a cheap skate may dishgure
much good ice.
The good old summertime Is coming
by degrees.
If you would avoid the fire keep out
of the frying pan.
Beware of the married man who
acts as If he was glad of it.
Many a so-called smart man smarts
because of his alleged smartness.
He who praises men and hatters wO-
men has many fair weather friends.
The trust magnate values money for
the so-called men he can buy with it.
1t Is the man who has only half
achieved who makes the most fuss
about it.
Lazy men evidently don't believe in
the theory that God helps those help
themselves.
If the young man mixes old rye
with the wild oats he sows he is pretty
sure to raise disturbance.
Faith is all well enough in its way.
but don't put too much Of It in canned
goods and cold storage eggs.
About the only difference between a
pickpocket and many a high flnancier
is that the formers gets by Illegal
means what the latter gets legally.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22

an engine. Dave and got right into
it; heE, boy2s
At that moment a eommotion arose
ing himself on one elbow he stared
stupidity about. then lifted a vindictive
fist and shook it at RhOda.
You young Jezebel, you" he r0ared
painfully 'sto serve me like this after
I'd saved you from the gang They'd
have slung you q through ticket damn
quick If I'd bIowed your message, and
you know it. too, you-you-bully dt-
tie devil-henl I was going to help you
make a sneak if you hadn't plugged
me, but
A groan and a collapse ended the
sentence.
Rhoda sprang forward, remorsefuily
wringing her hands. Dawes gaze went
with her devouringly.
The vice president looked from cns
to the other; then he adjusted his eye
glasses and picked UP the yellow tele-
gram slip which the division superln-
tendent had just laid down He real
Danger at H. Robbers waiting for
train seven. Don't stop for COO
sake"
The ofaeial smiled again. this time a
little uncertainty. Edging closer to ms
son he laid a gentle hand upon his
shoulder.
Lad he said reproachfully. point
ing to the little old photograph above
the table, why didn't you tell me long
ago that she was Dave Brody's girl!
Surely you knew that he was my old
buddy ?"-l Copyright, 1905, BY RUDY
DOuglas.)
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
GLOBE SIGHTS
LOO the Atehison Globe. J

IErOm the AtCnlS0n GIODe.I
It isn't a good thing to repeat half
you hear
Some mighty guilty people can look
mighty innocent.
If you think everybody knows you
what a mistake you make.
Why is 1t that married men are not
as sweet as single men?
So many men are bald that to talk
about bald heads is no longer a joke.
How a man likes to create the i'm
preston that he knows great deal
about history!
man who knows he does not de-
serve confidence, has very little con-
fdence in other people.
When you go away on a "trip" q
good plan is to spend your money as
soon as possible, and hurry home.
It IS justihable to doubt the sin
cerity Of any man who makes a prayer
as II he enjoyed hearing himself make
It seems that to exaggerate your
blessings is looking on the bright side
but that to exaggerate your troubles
is plain lying.
If nillznan viii tell a piece Of
gossip while he is measuring out the
milk. he can give short measure and
never be caught at It.
When it comes to rivalry, that be-
tween country girls over a love affair,
4AAtAlCA " 4Ss1+- 1ru 90 LIE AEAGEsl OF ALL
is as mild as this mornings milk com
pared with the rivalry between milIi-
neTs.
When a man falls on a slippery
walk and is knocked senseless. the
incident loses it's interest to specta-
tors because he doesn't lift his head
to see If anyone is looking.
You are a dandy If you can beat
another mans game. A slot machine
IS another mans game. And don't
forget you are invited many times to
invest IA other mems Eames.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
JOURNAL ENTRIES

We are often told that the early bird
catches the worm, but somebody else
can have all the worms that are COM
ing to this department.
You think a toe doesn't amount to
much, but just trod on somebody's toe
and see what a howl goes upl
The men have a tough time in this
world. You viii notice that it is the
young rooster who is always sacrificed
first when spring fry is wanted.
There was once a time when It was
every boys ambition to be president.
Now it is every boys ambition to be
the star pitcher in a big league, and
his fondest dream IS to knock a home
run every time he comes to the bat.
So far as this department is con-
cerned there was no need to copyright
Mr.. Bryan's letters from the other SIDE
Of the world.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
HUMOR OF THE Day

He-Has she been married Iong7
She-No; she still thinks that her hus-
band eats cloves because he likes them
San Francisco Call
Please, sir. wiz you give a dime to a
Here it is. sonny. Is your father dead?''
No, sir He's de orphan. Dis moneys
fer him. Cleveland Leader.
'eYou say johnson is in the insane asy-
lum and still is making mint Of money
"oh, he is writing popular songs
Tacoma News.
IT'S strange to me how you got the r.
val bosses both to your banquet
Dead easy. We made each believe the
phia Ledger.
You are certain the court asked the
MILDLY, that you saw the accused when
you stood on your head2'
We'll responded the MILDLY, 7 saw him
through a haze
Upon reflection the court considered this
ompetent.-Philadelphi Ledger.
Rich Guardian-Young man. want you
to understand that there are other things
! in this world besides money
Young Mani know it, sir, but it takes
money to get. them.-Detroit Free Press
did you ever notice how meek Mrs.
Swillitan is in the presence OF that drum
yes; I've noticed that he is ike other
men I know. He governs his wife a great
/ deal better than he does his appetite
/ Chicago Tribune.
why do you insist on only s9s, 900 a year
1 as your salary2@
+ Because answered the high hnancier.
/ as soon as people hear q hundred thou
sand mentioned they get suspicious 1t is
I better to keep the figures marked down
/ little. Washington Star.
When Milky Way Nelson. the aeronaut.
fell several hundred feet and landed on
/ top of Spike Hennessy's saloon the air
patrol flew to gather him uD- Just be-
fore he expired he asked:
What was that building I fell on2
! "A saloon" was the reply.
THAT was on the house, he said feebly
and passed away.-1finneapo polls Journal.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22

You're poverty stricken Bosht Al boshi
nave you noticed the kind of day
II IS outside, and the bursting buds,
AND the blue haze far away
Y mere the hills lift up their time-scarred
Have you noticed the river run2
70 You hear the deldlark calling you
Out yonder in the sun2
nave you noticed the sky-arch overhead,
and The fleecy clouds go by?
rave you heard the sycamore O. nights
snake Its leaves with a droWsy sfgh2
And the moclxingbird, when the moon is
full, -
Send forth its swelling note.
As Music's very soul was hid
Deep down in the feathered throat?
II you have seen and you have heard
Inc song the redbreast sings
and you have walked abroad alone
Where the loW-hung tree branch swings.
Ihen you should know that you are not
poor;
The skies and the rushing seas
Are yours, and never the millionaire
Can get any more than these
Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22

turn to their former homes but are
turned loose in that town. The OBJ
lection is well taken. It is also as
serted that some state convicts who
are given tickets to 60 back to he
counties from which they were sen
fenced. sell the transportation and
proceed to celebrate in Leavenworth,
OF course Leavenworth does not desire
that kind Of people added to its pop
ulation. and its objections are well
grounded Still the policy pursued at
Leavenworth IS the kind that attracts
the criminal class.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
REFLECTIONS or a BACHELOR
IFrom the New York Press

IFrom the New York Press
little girl looks forward to zettfnv
married the way a little boy does Ia
learning to smoke.
There is hardly anybody in the world
who doesn't know something but it's Of
no use to him.
A man has lot Of friends that get
mad with hin If he makes more Of a
success than they DO.
Either a woman figures out that the
baby is going to be very handsome or
have a sweet disposition
You can never make a woman be
lieve 1t is cheating the street car COM
pany II it is the conductors fault ffaak
he didn't take ND her fare.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
EROT OTHER PENS
AR1rsE- OF PARTY SPIRIT.

Judge Parker's address missed part
of its main point when he allowed him
self to appear as a partisan rather than
as a publicist. and when he pointed
with pride to the fact that the Republi-
can party had more powerful and IN
scrupuIous state bosses" than the
Democratic party. We do not dispute
the assertion of fact. We are inclined
to subscribe to it. But it is absolutely
irrelevant and accidental. What
makes a boss is a great political ma
jority on the side which he processes.
and a majority which is not to be
moved from its party allegiance by
considerations of the good of the com
nunity, whether the community is a
municipality or a state. Boss Tweed s
"pou sto' was exactly the same as
Boss Durham s, or as Boss Platts, or
as Boss Quay's. It was an appeal to
the party spirit of the majority of the
voters, an appeal which would make
them vote for a bad Democrat rather
than for a good Republican, or vice
versa. It is the abuse of party spirit
against which Washington warned his
countrymen that is the ultimate reli-
ance of bossism and machine politics.
That a man like Judge Parker, in the
course of an appeal against exactly the
results of this spirit, should go to tax
ing credit for one party as against the
other, this is a melancholy exemplifi-
cation at once of the needfulness and
of the futility of Washington's teach
ing.-NeW York Times.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22

The editor OF the Woodston Echo
is a candidate for a county omce, and
IN defining his position by telling what
the policy Of his paper has been he
incidentally lays down a pretty good
general platform. His paper he says,
"has been a hrm supporter Of the
Roosevelt administration and of the
state administration with the excep-
tion Of Tom Kelly and his gang. 1t
rs independent Of any corporation. po-
litiCal ring or boss. We believe that
instesd OF fighting to see who viii be
the boss in the party. and In one rings
Fighting the other. the time should 5e
spent in working for things that VIII
beneat the nation. the state and the
county ia which we live
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22

AS we understand 1t. President
Rooseveit's attitude toward the ap-
pointment Of a successor to Justice
Brown Of the supreme court is some
thing like that Of the country justice
OF the peace. who. after hearing a
case. announced that he would take it
under advisement for three days but
would eventually ind for the defend
ant. The president will take the ap-
pointment OF a new supreme court
Justice under advisement for a time,
but will eventually appoint Secretary
Tart
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
SOMF OTFSTTONS

The poet sang. "Oh, why should the
spiris q mortal be proud2' We never
tried to answer that question and we
are not going to try to now. Wen
say, however. that the author of that
poem was like many other people-he
could ask questions that General Had
ley could not. and Rogers would not
answer.-M Minneapolis Better Way.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22

An Oklahoma editor observes that
"the beautiful weather for the last ten
days makes one feel like taking a real
1ull-lenEth bath" That editor could
understand the intense longing that
filled the breath of a short grass man
who was once sent to the Kansas leg
fslature. and who. after taking frequent
views OF the bathtub in his room at
the Copeland during his first three
days in Topeka, wrote home to his wife
that eft looked so inviting he could
hardly wait for Saturday night to come
10 get into it,"
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22

The card OF thanks is sometimes
humorous in it's sadness. but it has
been left for a New York country
man to inject facehousness into a do
mestic tragedy in which he Is a party.
Here IS q legal notice that he pub
fishes. This is to certify that my
wife. Elizabeth, formerly the Widow
wild. is too wild to be steered by my
compass. but one OF her own
making. and as she has the devil for
her pilot she has altered her course
and steered away from me. so that /
win pay no debts Of her contracting
after this date"
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22


The other day in Kansas City sworn
testimony before the Interstate com
merce commission shcwe ed that the
STANDARD Oh company makes its profits
by spying upon competition, by ruth
Iessly underselling where its spies show
there is competition. by collusion with
the railroads, and by unfair, dishonest
unchristian methods. Hundreds of
American business men have been
crushed to the wall by these methods
Of Standard Oil, and its treasury is full
of stolen money. These men whom the
Standard has robbed are some Of them
vindictive. They have probably made
threats, and the head of the Standard
IS a coward. On the news page of the
Gazette today is the other side Of the
picture II is an account Of how John
D. Rockefeller lives. All the money In
the world can't buy Ieace of mind for
him. There is an axenger at his gate
more terrible than any human enemy
it is his conscience. He fears his fei-
low men; he knows why he should be
destroyed and he fears the retribution
of a just God. This story of how this
great thief is enjoying his stolen mil
lions should be read by every American
boy-it is a great moral lesson The
spectacle Of the miserable old man hid
ing in terror is enough to make any
boy honest-Emporia Gazette.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22

The decrease in the ballot-box stuff
ing is clearly the result Of the prose-
cutions of the past six months for mis-
conduct at the February election.
Every species of baIlot-box fraud has
been so common here. and has been
unpublished for so many years, that the
process of reform must be SLOW
Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
TOM THOMPsoN's IDEA.

There are $4,000 more men than
women in Kansas. If these Mormon
elders go to decoying any Kansas girls
to Utah, they should be made to pay a
prohibitive license. And no wonder it
is hard to get hired girl who Will
stay.-Howard Courant.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22

Not long ago there were some com
ments In these columns on the use-or
the lack Of use-of coroners' 5uries. AS
corroborauve evidence might be cited
the fact that in Kansas City this week
a coroner's jury decided that p. c.
Harris was shot and killed by a
party OF parties unknown to US" The
Jury evidently had not been introduced
20 Mrs. Donielson. who admitted shoot
ing Harris. or possibly the jury did
not read the papers.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22

The efforts Of Judge Parker to have a
southern man nominated for president
by the Democrats in order to head of
the Bryan boom IS liable to make the
Democratic nomination take after the
Nebraska man and catch him in spite
OF his screams
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-22
NEW MARK OF DISTINCTION.

The uprising Of the people which has
taken place is conspicuous proof that
the heart of the people is sound and
that men of character and capabiity
are asserting themselves. Mere wealth
is no longer a mark of high distinction
unless it is accompanied by personal
character and Willingness to use that
wealth for the public service. On the
other hand, tainted wealth has become
thoroughly disreputable so as to bring
the possesor Of 1t no adequate satisfac-
ffon-WaU Street Journal