The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-22

OIn1JnOfnyucus as IOresnadoWed by
the unintelligibility Of its plesiosaurian
anisodactylous aspects
A Case Of Crushed Worm.
ct said, You want ten pages OF those
rumoling, great, long summer thun-
der-peals and you expect to get them
at seven cents a peal? 2
He said, A words word, and
seven cents is the contract; what are
you going to do about it2'
Il said, Jackson, this is eold-blood-
ed oppression: What's an average
English wOrd?
He said, Six letters
It said. Nothing Of the kind; that's
French. and includes the spaces be-
tween the words; an average English
word is four letters and a half BY
hard. honest labor I've dug all the
large words out Of my vocabulary and
shaved 1t down till the average is three
letters and a half. I can nut 1900
words on your page and there's not
another man alive that can come with
/ in 200 of it.
Ny page is worth $S4 to me. Il
takes exactly as long to fill your m aga
zine page with long words as it does
With short ones-four hours. Now
| then, look at the criminal Injustice Of
TINS requirement Of yours. I am care
Jul am economical Of nv time and
labor. For the famiIy's sake I've got
10 be. SO never write metropolis for
seven cents because I can get the
same money for city. I never write
policeman, because I can get the same
price for cop. And so on and so on.
never write valetudinarian at all, for
not even hunger and wretch edness can
/ humble me to the point where I will
do word like that for seven cents.
wouldn't do it for fifteen. Examine
your obscene text. please; count the
words He counted, and said it was
lWenty-fou11 [ asked him to count the
letters. He made it 903.
Pleaded in Vain for Mercy.
/ Il said. Now. hope you will see the
whole size Of your crime. With my vo-
cabulary 1 would rlake sixty words out
/ OF these E05 letters, ard get 1920 for il,
/ whereas for your inhuman twenty-four
would get only sl.6S. Ten pages of these
4 skN-scrapers Of yours would pay men
4 only about $500; in my simplfded voca-
/ hulary the same space and the same
! labor would pay me $840. I do not wish
! to work upon this scandaIous Job by the
/ piece. want to be hired by the year
/ He c0ldly refused
I said. Then for the sake of the
4 family. if you have no feeling for me-
you ought at least to allow me overtime
on that word "extenporan eousness."
Again he coldiy refused seldom sd =
! harsh WORD to any one but was not
/ master Of myself then, and I spoke right
out and called him an anysodRctyous
/ pesiosaurian conchyliaceotis ornitno-
! hyncus, and rotten to the heart with
! hOlophOtai subterranean exte-npOrane-
ousness-GOd forgive me for that wan
ton crime; he lived only two hours.
From that day to this I have been a
/ devoted and Woodworking member %
the heaven born Institution, the Inter
| rational Association for the Prevention
! of Cruelty to Authors, and now I am
laporing with Carnegiess simplihed corr
| mittee, ard with my heart In the work
Quotes From a Noman's Letter.
10 4.
mighty question reasonably, nationally,
sanely-yes, and calmly, not excitedly.
| What is the real function, the essen
tial function, the supreme function of
| language? Isn't it merely to convey
ideas and emOtiOns2 Certainly. Then
if we can do it with words OF fonetic
breVity and cOmpactness, why keep
the present cumbersome forms? But
can we? Yes.
Il hold in my hand the proof of #.
right out OF her heart of hearts. I
! think she never saw a spelling book
in her life. The spelling is her own.
/ There isn't a waste letter in it any
/ where. It reduces the fonetics to the
last gasp-it squeezes the surplusage
out of every word-there's no spelling
that can begin with it on this planet
/ outside Of the White House. And as
for the punctuation, there isn't any.
It is all one sentence, eagerly and
breathlessly uttered. without break or
pause in It anywhere. The letter Is
| absolutely genuine have the proofs
of that in my possession. can't stop
I to spell the words for you, but you
can take the letter presently and con1-
fort your eyes with it. Here 1t is.
Miss dear friend / took
some close into the armerry and give
them to you to Send too the suffers
out to California and i Hate to truble
YOU but / got to have one of them
Back it was a black oil woole Shevyoti
With q jacket to Mach trimed Kind OF
Fancy no IS Burst measure and passy
menterry acrost the front And the
color woodent Trubble you but ii be-
long to my brothers wife and she is
Mad about It I thought she was W1llIn
but she want she says she want done
with it and was going to Wear It q
Spell longer she ant so free harted as
what i am and she Has got more to dc
with Than / have having husband C
Work and slave For her CESS you re-
member Ne I am shot and stout and
light complicated torked with you
quite a spell about the suffrars and
said it was orful about that erthQuake
shoodent wondar if they had another
one rite off SCENE general Collision OF
the country is Kind of Explosive
hate to take that Black dress away
from the suffrars but / will hunt round
And see If can get another One If
can / viii call to the armerry for it il
you will jest lay it aside so no more a.
present rum SOul Il NC A-tSAtu.
liked your
appearance very Much.
Now you see what simplifed spell
ing can do. It can convey any fact yoJ
need to convey; and it can pour on
emotions like a sewer. L beg you,
beseeeh you. to adopt our spelling
and print all your dispatches in it."
The Breath of Life.
It's a significant fact that the stronges
animal of its size, the gorilla. also has thu
, ! largest lungs. Powerful lungs means pow
/ erfui creatures. How to keep the breath
ing organs right should be man S chiefes
study. Like thousands of others, Mrs
: Ora A. Stephens Of Port Williams, O.. ha.