Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-01-06

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on my head without splitting any OF thes
water. That is, she tried to teach me-.
although l really never learned. She
could do it perfectly--thats how tho South
American girls get their magnificent car
rage, carrying pals of water on their
heads. But l only spilled bucket after
bucket Of aqua on my bluejacket uniform.
and then ! let the uniform dry out on me
in the night air-which wasn't good for a.
man only recently down in the tropics from
FAR northern waters.
I'm another grove 1 instructed, or sought,
TO instruct. Mexican. the father of a large
family. how to play The Rakes of NAL
low on his homemade fiddle. He thought
l was insane. no doubt, but he INDUCED
me. Swinging in the grapevine swing.
fooing with a two-stringed Greaser fiddle
In Santos suburb grove until after mid
night, wasn't exactly the most sanitary
! thing In the world for me, either
Put the Generals Right.
ION the day that the Jimmy Legs
claimed me as his'n had spent the torrid
forenoon on the Santos parade grounds, IN
the full blaze of the sun. watching the
barefooted little soldiers drilling and put
ting their generals right when they hap
pened to go wrong in drill tactics During
the three days ashore I had eaten only
alligator pears and bananas, disdaining
grosser food as calculated to neutralize tho
spiritual effect of the booze So that l
was pretty ripe for the Creeping Johnnie
when the master-at-arms got me on board.
breakers. the bowling fireman and oiler.
The three OF came to In the brig on
the following morning, each with an even
temperature of 100 apiece. The surgeon
looked over.
when you fellows get strong again-is
YOU do-you'll be good said the surgeon.
It's the Johnnie
They took the oier and the fireman aft
and put them In sick bay hunks. Because
the sick bay was pretty small, they rugged
swinging cot on the for'ard berth deck
,at,t li-1, ole sod
brig for me- In that cot | fought IL out.
/ was delirious pretty nigh all the time for
three weeks. The Creeping Johnnie Is not
a joke. During those three weeks IL carried
me down. from my normal 1S5 to about 135.
l had occasional brief lucid intervals. Dur
ing one of them-it was while was IN the
third week of it-said to the apothecary;
How are those two ombreys OF The
black gang-the oiler and the hremah--
making out?'
Both piped out last week. replied the
apothecary, which was the fact.
Played Horse With Science.
Hearing which, there was nothing for me
to do but to turn over and proceed to get
bughouse some more. Once. when / came
to for a minute / overheard the surgeon
saying in a half-whisper to the apothe-
cary:
This boys gone. Presently well be
having to give him bit OF morphia TO al
low him to pass out easy
mo YOU don'tr l had enough strength
and sense to squeak, 80 that they heard
me and turned to my cot with amazement.
And then l was clean out and looney again.
At the end OF the third week l had the
johnnie about beat. | shook off his half
Nelson, my head came back to me, and
went to decent sleep, not TO the stormy
land of gibberers.
when | came out of that sleep I told
the apothecary that steak the size Of the
engine room hatch and smothered in onions
would be about the thing. He reviled me.
and gave me half an ounce of mutton
broth. The next day the apothecary loos-
ened UP to the extent OF three spoonfuls or
clam juice. And that's the kind of a game
that they kept UP on ME for d week, and
me perishing for food.
Il gave the long boo-hoo to the surgeon
about it, and he told mo that one-sixteenth
of an ounce of solid food would kill me
deader than any New Jersey meuhaden that
had been fertilizing the soil for three
months. And they tell me, the near-the-lina
people who know the Johnnie good deal
better than l know II, that only one man
In a million who is idiotic enough to try
solid food upon emerging from the Chagres
delirium ever survives his foOlishness-goes
right out, in fact, like a wind-Snuffed wax
match.
"One evening, the sixth after I got out
of the derium. l saw from my cot the
chief petty officers Dutch cook fixing up
for supper the usual mess OF salt junk or
horse. 1t looked good to me. My tongue
dribbed, my teeth leaked at the sight OF
it, and as l gazed at that salt horse wolf
ishly the call for evening quarters sounded.
The cook hustled above to the main deck
to answer to his name at quarters. And still
that salt junk looked finer to me and more
fair than any cluster of thickly hung date
palms that were ever spread tantaliZingly
before the befooled view of mirage gaZerS.
And the berth deck was deserted-all hands
were at quarters! There was my chance!
flashed Up With Salt Junk.
II rolled out of the swinging cot and.
on my hands and knees--I was too weak to
walk upright made for that mess table.
When I reached 1t l pulled myself up on a
mess stool-it took all the strength 1 could
muster to do that too-and then L prodded
an iron fork into that steaming mass of salt
junk. Did you ever see Great Dane dog
lick up platter of corn bread mixed with
sausage2 That me! L ate about four
pounds of it. l won't attempt to describe
how it tasted Human speech has it's lmi-
tations. l still digging my fork into
the salt junk when the Dutch cook came
clambering down the ladder. He saw the
hole in his mess of salt junk and me sitting
there with a gloatful grin on. and he raced
for the apothecary. l crawled back to my
cot, but they had to lift me In. ! felt inef-
fably contented.
When the apothecary reached my cot he
was white as chalk The cook had shown
him the remains of that mess of salt horse.
The surgeon, pretty pale himself. followed
on the heels of the apothecary
Well, my man. said the surgeon I
hate to have to say It, but you had better
be debating your final messages to your
nearest of kin. The apothecary will take
down your words. am sorry, nay boy, We
have been shipmates for a number of years,
and you were always a fairish. decent lad.
But there Is absolutely no chance for you
now. l am only doing my plain duty in
telling you So.
Disguised the Surgeons
Sounded pretty gIum, didn't it2 But I
didn't care. I was living over again, for
the few minutes they told me I had left.
the joys of that mess of salt horse. turned
over to go to sleep, and as I did so 1 heard
the surgeon tell the apothecary that l was
entering the coma preceding DEATH slept
like a trail-worn papoose until morning.
and when | woke up l felt like blue-rib-
bon fox terrier at a bench show, which is
pretty perky. Two days later l was under
the awnings on the main deck. stretched
out and getting back strength with every
tick of the navigators chronometer
"A week later, trig enough l presented
. he In, hse