The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1906-03-29
Dovetailed Verbosity.

A deal of amusement may be ex-
tracted from the following by per-
suading a friend to read it to you
while you hold the dictionary. If he
holds the dictionary and you read
there is of course not so much fun
for you. One enervating morning,
just after the rise of the sun, a youth
bearing the cognomen of Calico,
glided in his gondola over the legend
airy waters of the lethean Thames.
He was accompanied by his allies
and coadjutors, the dolorous Pepys
and the erudite Cholmondeley, the
most combative aristocrat extant, and
an epicurean who for learned vagar-
les and revolving discrepancies of
character would take precedence of
the most erudite of all Areopagite
literati. These sacrilegious dramatis
personae were discussing in detail
suggestive and exhaustive address,
delivered from the prosecenium box
of the Calisthenic lyceum by nota-
bic fnancier on obligatory hydrop-
athy, as accessory to the irrevoca-
BILE and irreparable doctrine of evolu-
ton, which has been vehemently
panegyrized by a splenetic professor
of acoustics, and simultaneously
denounced by a complaisant oppo-
nent as an undemOnstrated romance of
the last decade, amenable to no rea-
soning, however allopathic, outside
of its own lamentable environs. These
peremptory tripartite brethren ar
rived at Greenwich, wishing to ag-
grandize themselves by indulging in
exemplary relaxation, indicatory of
implacable detestation of integral
tergiversation and exoteric intrigue.
They fraternized with chronological
harlequin who was a connoisseu-r in
mezzotint and falconry. This piquant
person was heaping contumely and
scathing raillery on an amateur in
jugular recitative, who held that the
Pharaohs Of Africa we're conversant
with his theory that morphine and
quinine were exorcists of bronchitis.
Meanwhile the leisurely Augustine of
Cockburn drank from a tortoise shell
wassail cup to the health of an
apotheosized recusant, who was his
supererogatory patron, and an as
sistant recognizance in the immobile
nomenclature of interstital molecular
phonics. The contents of the vase
proving soporific, a stolid plebian
took from it's ceremonies an heraI-
die viploncello, and, assisted by a
plethoric diocesan from Pail Mall,
who performed on pianoforte, pro-
ceeded to wake the dangerous echoes
of the empyrean. They bade the pro-
lix Caucasian gentleman not to mis-
construe their inexorable demands,
while they dined on acclimated
anchovies and apricot truffles and
had for dessert wiseacre's .pharma-
copoeia. Thus the truculent Pythago-
reans had novel repast, fit for the
gods. On the subsistence of the feast
they alternated between soft languors
and isolated scenes of squalor. which
followed mechanist's reconnaissance
OF the imagery of Uranus, the legend
OF whose incognito related to poni-
ard wound in the abdomen received
while cutting a swath in the interests
of telegraphy and posthumous pho
Biography. Meantime an unctuous
othoepist applied homeopathic re-
storative to the retina of an objurga-
tory spaniel named Daniel, and
tried to perfect the construction of a
behemoth which had not mired in
pygmean slough, while listening to
the elegiac soughing Of the prehistoric
wind.