The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-20
From poSnoa used to Illustrate the p~lnars Panama canal u~s

/ through the bounds of etiquette. This
| Is one Of them. Your valet is gage.
and bound. you are helpless in bed and
I've got a soft snap before me. I'm
after Doodle of course"
row nor lend"
the reason I made my entrance in the
way l did. Any objections to tobacco
smoker"
Il have, sir. I have never smoked in
this room nor allowed others to do so.
Sorry to break over rules. colonel,
but lis is an extra occasion.
The man drew from his pocket an old
pipe and filled 1t with strong TOBACCO
and sat down and leaned back and
crossed his legs and puffed away for
three or four minutes before he said:
How does it feel, colonel, to be ia
ken apart at night and put together in
! the morning. I'm not asking out of
vulgar curiosity, but from scientific
point of view Do you feel as Il you
We're loom or an engine or some other
piece of machinery"
You will excuse me, sir, if 1 refuse
to debate the matter with you. replied
the colonel in even tones.
The intruder picked up the wig and
sought to adjust it. and then the cor
set and closely examined it, and then
continued:
Il have heard it commended that the
male Wearer of a corset has wOmanish
FEELINGS come over him now and then.
and that the wearer of a wig is always
thinking of the shiny surface beneath.
Has 1t ever occurred to you, colonel, to
invent some compound to force a new
growth of hair2 You gained the v. c.
for leading one thousand soldiers into
action How much drawer and greater
and grander f you led two million
bald-headed men to happiness!"
Sir LEI me call your attention to
| the fact that you are an intruder" OBJ
served the colonel.
Not doubt of it. my dear fellow"
replied the burglar, but let US infer
that I have begged your pardon and
have been absolved. How long, my
son of Mars. by the use of these cos
metics. can you keep Up the delusion
of middle age, and what is the idea %
Again, sir. I answer that the ques-
ton is not debatable.'
MOP Well. I could wish that you
were more Dliable. but I must take
things as I find EN-. As my call this
evening was entirely unexpected"
Your call. sir is simply unpleasant,
and let me beg Of you not to unreason-
ably 9rolong the same"
That is a fair deal. am here
after such cash and jewelry as 1 can
/ nandiiy pick up."
7 have been aware of that for some
time past There are about fifty
pounds in the safe, and the keys are
there in the stand. There are also a
few things worth picking up. Will
you kindly get to business. sir2 1t is
my hour for going to sleep.
The burglar wasn't over ten minutes
possessing himself of whatever was
valuable, and when he was ready to
go he said.
IF you have not enjoyed my society,
colonel, am not to blame As to
your valet
That is what might be called q
family matter, sir" responded the col
onel as he turned his face to the wall.
Two days later the story was being
Whispered about. with the addition.
that the valet had lost his place. One
OF the coIonel's acQuaintanceS had the
hardihood to refer to the matter, but
as deIicately as possible. and was an
swered:
''You are correct, sir. James is no.
longer with me. found that he did
not know his duties. He had the inn
Dudencea to dream that a person had
entered my chambers without having
previously sent in his card. Copy
right, 1906. by NJ M. Cunningham