The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-09-03
Stories of the Hour
Chock Full Of Fun.

"A capltdl story Is told OF university
man who was the stroke oar OF his
crew and an invincible athlete on the
foOtball-field.
He entered the ministry, and spent
years in missionary labor in the far
West. Walking one day through
frontier town a cowboy stepped up to
him and said:
"Parson, you don't have enough fun.
Take drink!"
The minister declined
We'll, parson," he said. you must
have some fun. Here's a card saloon.
Take hand in a game"
The minister declined.
"Parson," says the cowboy, you'll
die II you don't have some fun"
And he knocked the parsons hat
off his head, and hit him on the ear.
The old athletes spirit rose; the
science which had been learned in
earlier days and forgotten for quart
err Of a century was aroused. and a
blow on the jaw of that cowboy sent
him sprawling in the street.
The parson walked over him as II
he had been door-rus. picked him
up. and busted the side Of the house
with him, and then threw him in the
road.
As the ambulance was earring the
cowboy off, he raised his head feebly,
and said:
"Parson. what did YOU fool me for?
You are chock full of fun"
Appearance Was Decietful.
Mr.. James Gordon Bennett, pro-
prietOr of the New York Herald, most
ly lives in Paris. but periodically visits
New York to inspect his newspaper
plant in all its details, and careful
preparations are everywhere made in
anticipation of his arrival.
On one of these momentous days one
of the printers turned up In semi
tipsy condition, to the horror of his
fellow workers: but he managed to
evade the foreman until Mr.. Bennett
in person discovered him. The man
had previously slipped and fallen
against an ink-roller. with the re-
suit that his face was covered. with
a thick black smudge of ink. Dur
ing the inspection he kept silent, and
Mr.. Bennett, saying nothing, left, and
called the foreman after him. The
result of the conference was anXiOusly
awaited.
Presently the foreman returned, and,
shaking his fist in the ink-smudged
face of the man, furiously shouted:
Say. you wash up an go home, and
come back tomorrow when you're
sober"
ITO get my wages" stammered the
offender. Am sacked?" ~. ,.r
No." growled the foreman. in dis
CT Thn h0n oil fhn ioly
your face, and said to me that you
looked like the only man in the shop
that works, and he's raised your wages
five dOllOrs week."
A Farewell Ctterance.
George r. Peck, general counsel for
the Chicago, Milwaukee and st. Paul
road, came east few days ago with
Representative. Philip Campbell of
Kansas. Peck used to live in Kansas
himself, and he and Campbell talked
together good deal.
Campbell is responsible, in meas
ure, for the governments Standard Oil
investigation, and particularly for the
Kansas end of it. He likes to talk
about it, and he bored Peck stiff with
observations on monopoly, and es-
pecially oil monopoly.
BY the way, Peck" he said, Il wish
YOU would read my last speech on that
subject" Peck replied.
1T would give me great pleasure to
read your last speech on that sub
ject," Peck replied.
And for two hours thereafter moth
ing was heard but the chug-chug of
the wheels as they passed over the
breaks in the rails.