Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1906-08-23
"GARRYS' EP|IAPH.
Jersey HawkshaW' writes Inscription
for his tombstone before he shakes
this mortal coil.


II beli-ve that the truth about man
should be placed on his tombstone says
Detective Henry G. Garrison, the Jersey
Hawkshaw"
ssTwo many old skates and worthless re-
probates are perpetuated by the time-worn
words, sacred to the memory of --, a
loving and affectionate husband and
father
II believe that on tombstone should
appear that which expresses the truth Of a
mans life and don't want any such hot
air rot aboye my ashes on neatly carved
marbel slab.
Garry is known to all as one who
practices what he breaches. He has told
his family of his wishes as to she treat
ment Of his corpse after death ana has
written and presented to them an epitaph
which he wishes placed on his monument,
if indeed be is to be so fortunate as to have
one. This epitaph Garry" has also
given to S. Taylor Rogers, employed in a
Swedesboro marbel yard, and on neatly
designed drawing for Barre granite mon
ument that hangs in the marble yard It
appears:
s'Poor old Garry,
Here he lies,
Nobody laughs
And nobody cries.
Where he has gone,
Or how he fares,
Nobody knows,
And nobody cares
Garry"
The hero Of hundred hairbreadth es-
capes, of thousands of arrests, involving dar-
ing and danger. and Of pistol dnels and
kindred encounters, fears not death, but ne
does not want to be put under six feet OF
Jersey sand in his human form. 4 am
determined that shall be cremated he
saws. ssHayine done work for scores Of
justices and prosecutors have seen death
and gore and corruption ofthe human form
/ have horror Of the latter and to think Of
becoming food for the worms, and rotting
by degrees is two much. All ready have
made arrangements with creamatory 70
dispose of me- My family however is OPP
posed to this, but am sure my wishes in
the matter will be respected.
Then two there are just lots of fellows
only to glad to dig down into newly
made grave and cart the poor carcass off TO
some dissecting house. lam satisfied that
there are numbers Of my enemies who would
be only too glad to slash their knives into
me Just to see what that old fellow is made
off, You known that as well as do.
ssMy plan is by far the best after, a
man is dead, OF course he could Mt feel it to
be burned You go to the crematory sealed
up. You are run into the oven on slab
and after being cooked you are run out
again and all there is left is little pile Of
ashes. These are sealed in little box and
after the funeral the whole thing is buried
in the family lot. lisa sanitary opera
sion and ehouls get business black eye. 4
The Jersey Hawkshaw'' says that he
wants nothing more on his tombstone than
is expressed in his little verse. Everybody
knows Garry is what be says and those
who come after won't care anyhow, more
would be superfuous. At present the
Swedesboro Sleuth is in trouble with
Squire Mankin Of Woodbury., who Garry"
says has the distinction Of being the first to
have him arraigned for any breach Of duty
or conduct. A fine of $50 has been placed
on the swarhorsen and he is bound oyer
for court for cruelty to a horse which he
hit on the nose in obedience to orders of a
Swedesboro councilman TO keep wagons at
the depot il orderly lines, and now the Pro-
secutor is after the Squire for deviation
from his magisterial duties.
A travelling drummer stopping at Swed-
esboro left a verse with Taylor Rogers both
traric and comic tits an epitaph in the
following words:
Regardless OF cost,
Regardless OF pains.
This stone was erected
To mark the remains,
OF wife number one, of
T. Patrick Malone,
And wife number two
Helped pay for the stone.h
4