Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-03-09
SEANGE AT SUNRISE
KEEP COMMISSION THE SUBJECT
OF DISCUSSION.
Reduction of Expenses and Rules of
Economy-Some of the
Results.

The Sunrise Club got to dissecting the
Keep commission at one of it's sessions In
the dairy lunch room the other morning,
and some of the opinions expressed in an
informal way would have been revelation
to the gentlemen under discussion.
Know emf said the Old Department
Man. raping his left leg over the corner
of the table for the greater ease of tip
ping back in the tiff-backed chair. KNOW
EN-? Why. of course, know EN-. just like
a gambler does an ace. They are foxy
lot of boys all right. too. Know how they
have their game framed up? Why, they
have gone through the departments and
picked out lot of Woodworking hard
worked. conscientious fellows and appoint
ed them lot of subcommittee, and
these subcommittee fellows hustle around
and get the facts and then the commits
sion turns out a report on 1t and gets all
the credit for It, That is, they get the
credit when there Is any coming But 1t
has to be mighty new secretary or a
mighty stupid bureau chief that doesn't
know all the facts they dig up before the
facts are dug.
yes, they mean well enough; SO does the
President, for that matter. Nice man. the
President. Know him?''
Nav said the Night Police Man, skep-
tically, nor you either.
the Down Town Departments. Used to
work in the civil service commission When
he was down there He was right nice
boy, too, but young. However, he'll get
over that in time.
Of Great Capability.
but that is Just one of the troubles with
him. He's too darned capable You see, he
can write book or run steam thresher'
or do pretty good piece of wing shooting,
or manage a government department, and
do the whole thing pretty well. And he
don't see why anybody else with average
intelligence isn't just as Versaule as he is
Now he takes a liking to a fellow just
as he has to these boys on the Keep com
mission, and they are honest enough, out
they aren't widespread enough to do all the
things he thinks they can do. Honest, l be-
lieve If he took liking to some young lei
low from the middle west that had never
seen salt water he would just as lief put MIN
in command of a battleship as not and ex-
pect him to make pretty good out at run
ming her, too. But it amt every man you
can pick up and set him to running an ice
machine or practicing medicine or writing
dime novels and have him make an equal
success of the whole bunch.
Commission Means Well.
well, that's just the trouble with the
commission. They mean well, bless their
souls They're all honest enough. But some
of the elementary things they don't know
would startle you. Now, for instance They
are at work on the printing investigation,
and If they don't increase the government
printing bill before the year is out it Will be
because they get writer's cramp or lose
their voices and can't dictate to stenos-
rapher. On the dead, some of the worst eX-
travagances that have been committed III
the government printing line are the reports
from Hitchcock and Pinchot telling how to
economic. Economy? oh, yes, but that
don't count with the commission. Their re-
port is going to be dream. 1hey nave
pitchpd n with a margin YOU
could play golf on-the most extraVagant
and wasteful form of printing you could
choose; and the wisdom they are going to
diSburSe in that form is going to be about
what any newspaper man or old print who
had stuck type by hand in the old days
could have told you while he was filling his
pipe.
II don't know all the things they are go
ing to print. But l saw one report that
they called for from one of the depart
ments. 1t was near foot thick. weighed
ten pounds, and they tell me they had to
buy some special typewriterS to print pages
big enough for it to go on. If they get
few reports like that from the other de-
partments and print all of them they Will
have to hire one of these electric express
wagons and carry the report around to the
back door of the White House for they'd
get stalled if they tried to go up 18th street
hill.
Work of the Experts.
They've got lot of experts working for
them on different lines, and I've seen their
understudies in an ultramarine perspiration
with the radiators turned off. And they
are going to get a lot of information of
one sort or another that If anybody wants
to read they will find in any back file of
the department reports. But from all l
hear it Is going to be a fancy piece Of
printing work and their recommendations
for economy IN the printing service will be
one of the most expensive publications the
government ever got out.
''Oh, yes they mean all right But they're
young. Most of the things they have
found out about the departments so far
that 1 have read the bureau chiefs have
been recommending to their secretaries for
a decade. and each of the secretaries has
been putting In his annual report for the
past ten years, and some of the bureau and
departments have been practicing right
along before the commission was ever
heard of.
Then the club had some more mnce pie
and coffee and adjourned.