Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1906-05-31
The Absent Minded
Professor
By OWEN OLIVER
I copyright, 1905, By Joseph b. Bowles. J

Oyclns, sdiu my WIG, IS form
Oh insanity" | had brought home my
first bicycle that evening. and not I'M
naturally proposed to ride around the
square before going to bed.
Il trust, my dear" replied,
smiably, that you do not regard it as
a dangerous form"
For an absent-mlnded professor,
she stated. severely, 81 regard II as an
extremely dangerous form"
ION the contrary" observed, pa
cifically. bicycling is the surest cure
for observation-disclosures Cycling forces
him to attend to everyday life. There
is. think, some defect In this trousei
clip. 1t does not appear TO adjust
the garment satisfactorily"
you have put II on the wrong side
OF the leg" she said, smiling In a pro-
voking manner at her knitting.
"Ah. yesi" | transferred 1t. THE
incident illustrates my point l am
sbsent-minded because am of the
bicycle. | shall be a different man
when | get on II"
IF you ever do" she remarked, sar-
castically. | had only just learned,
and mounting presented some dif-
ficulty.
Il call It madness to 80 out at this
hour. You will lose yourself-or the
bicycle" | rose with dignity.
Amelia" said, you shall see"
The fog certainly was thick; but as
Il was past IL o'clock, there was no
traffic in the square, and merely pur-
posed 10 ride round and round 1t.
mounted at the fourth attempt-a
pleasing improvement-and performed
the circuit slowly several times. Then
yentured to go little faster
1T is an excellent exercise" re-
Elected, although a modern one-n II
really is modern. ] am not sure that
The tablet which Won Noodle ascribes
10 the period OF Amenemhat ii. does
not indicate a vehicle of the nature OF
a tricycle.. | should myself be Inclined
10 ascribe the inscription TO an earlier
period, but"
Crash! The cycle stopped, and a
big rough man was sprawling on top
Of me. He raked about in the fog, and
found the two bicycles.
(which is miner ] said.
Ere var" He showed a ma
chine into my hands. Can yer gil
on?"
II can" I Informed him. but some.
times | do not"
"rn give yer shove orr be vol
unteered.
.You are very kind" said. IF
have done any damage TO your ma
chine. IN have 1t put right My al
dress"
i "orf yer gol"
! | knew that my house was IL gates
mast the pillar box, having had IN
forethought 10 count When ] cam
10 il dismounted, and hauled the Di
cycle up the steps To my surprise
the front door was ajar and the hal
lamp was out
Dear. dear!" | muttered. i mus
lave left IL open. II was very care
less of Amelia not TO look before sh'
went 10 bed" ! nearly fell over tn
door mat, which was not in its usus
Iosition. "She need not have turne'
out the gas" ! knocked against TN
hall stand and heard a rain OF iaii
ing hats "Confound this front wheel
IL won't keep straight" bore 10 IN
left 10 avoid the pedestal, and becam
pntangled in one Of the lobby curtains
After | had struggled with 1t for
time. II fell on my head. manages
10 lay the bicycle down and free my
self Then struck match. Direct
/ ly IL Jared up noticed that the plae
looked strange, and heard a shrli
voice. which sounded stranger
wait till come down to you'
threatened.
Amelia may call me absent minded
hut realized the truth almost imme
diately. had counted from the pi'
lar most on the wrong side OF IN
|, | SQUARE, ana 1ntTuueu INV
, else's establishment
was about TO explain, wneh IL W
curred 10 me that my position wa
somewhat equivocal. While was mes
,tating the match burned down 10 IN
fingers. dropped IT, and II went ou'
I thought | heard a footstep on IN
s,airs made a grab for the cyei'
missed It and knocked my head
"Georgel" cried the voice. George
rushed for the door, slammed
behind me. and fed down the step
into the fog.
"A lucky escape" ! muttered' WIZ
! ing INV forehead. Amelia may douh
nv presence of mind, but GOO
{ heavens, I've left the bicycle!
I For a few minutes / admit ! wa
a, a loss. 1t was not so much the :, p
cvcla that troubled me as Amel'
! She is an excellent woman, but' lin
: most Of her sex, at times unreasonable
) : tsared that she would not accept N
g.