davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

lM lLLARp DOUGLAS coxEY,
wv one of the cleverest and best
w known circus press agents in
the country. has written book of verse
for private circulation among his friends
Of the press and elsewhere The title of
this little volume is Heart Songs and
Other Verse" In the round of his ar
duous duties with the Barnum & Bailey
circus, Mr.. CoXey has not overlooked the
romantic side of his life and that of the
great tented enterprise with which he has
been associated for many years. He has
the true poetic spirit. Heart Songs and
Other Verse" is dedicated, ITO Those
Whose Faith in the Maker of These
Rhymes Has Never Wavered"
AS YOU GO.
Just travel along and keep working,
Your eye to the front on the goal,
No matter how pleasant is Sinking,
Twill never amass you a roll.
Endeavor to always be honest,
Should such good resolve not avail,
Be sure to employ a good lawyer
Who'll keep you from going to Jail.
1t has been long time since we read
a parody on Everybody Works But Fa-
ther''
SHOCKING.
The Pittsburg man.
To save his life,
Can not remember
Who's his wife,
And when he seeks
Some one to kiss
tbs apt to be
chorus miss,
Or else the spouse
OF one who is
Away from home
Attending biz.
Perhaps the new-style spelling might
go better about Easter time
The small boy is already beginning to
wonder why it is that his mother keeps
such vigilant watch over the key to that
hall closet
The lazy man simply sits on the bank
and wiggies his toes In the stream of
time.
MODEST DESIRE.
l do not care for loads of coin,
l simply want enough
To make my neighbors wonder where
l gathered up the stuff
THE VILLAGE QUARTETTE.
Don't be surprised if you hear the beau
tiful strains of our new quartette at your
house. These young gentlemen simply de-
sire to have a little variety in life, and
good singing and music are the best
means to employ. Keep on, boys, we all
like good singing. Baldwin Times.
DYING.
Some people die
For lack of breath
And many die
The auto death
Anxious Annie wants to know If cti-
zens of Kalamazoo should be styled Kali
amazooians, Kalamazooers or Kalama-
zoots. We don't believe in calling names
Annie.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

A Cincinnati drummer posing as
Richard Harding Davis had the time
of his life at the expense of Nashville's
600"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

1t is distressing to think that unfor-
tunate Billy Brown may yet figure
in mawkish novel or a melodrama.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

DR.. Crapsey will recoup on the lee
ture platform what he loses on account
of his church troubles.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02
WOMEN IN POLITICS.
Indiana Instance Where Apparently
Everything Went. Wrong.

From the Indianapolis Star.
There is deep rooted conviction among
politicians that the disaster in the
Eleventh Congressman district is due to
the visit of the Longworths and the So
cial controversies and jealousies which it
engendered. Until it occurred there ap
peared to be no question that Lands
would have an easy victory, but from the
time that Prince Nick and Princess Alice
set foot in the district the chances began
to wane This was not because the
Eleventh district man is especially in
terested in society. He is not. On tho
contrary he sympathizes with the senti-
ment of Burgess immortal verse:
There is little in five o'clock tea
To appeal to person like me.
Police conversation
Evokes the elation
A COW might enjoy in a tree.
But while the men are thus dead to the
charms of social life the Eleventh dis
trict woman is as ambitious to be in the
swim as her sisters elsewhere, and the
royal progress was the opportunity OF a
lifetime 1t was obvious that everybody
couiu NOT We III Oh Tic iuiiSeioAS' oAi2 oi'S
can almost hear the fond wife suggesting
to her husband that SO active republic
can as he could easily get her the neces-
sary invitation. Likewise one can see the
husband swell up and cheerfully re-
spond Sure thing.
And then would come the sad discov-
cry that the full quota of cards had been
issued and really nothing could be done.
And, moreover, that awful trip to Ma
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02
NOTIONS.

NOTIONS.
Another pleasure Eve missed was talk
ing about her nelghbors
Advice under any guise is bad enough,
but the chap who tells us how we might
have avoided our mistakes is a pest
What makes US mad when a church
member is found to be leading a double
life is that we have been so cleveriy
hoodwinked.
There is at least one way to rub every
man the wrong way.
You will notice that women don't spend
half the time Analysing men that men do
Analysing women
The average man knows less about
himself than his friends do.
The first half of life is devoted to
planning what We'll do and the second
half to trying to forget what we did do.
STYLE.
The dude goes Looping down the street
In pleasant frame of mind
Because he wears an overcoat
That's split a bit behind.
Hawaiian legislators want Uncle Sam
to raise their salaries to $1,000 a session.
Isn't the graft any good?
Omaha has a pugilist who quit the ring
for the church, but he wasn't a very
good puglllst and there is no use to
worry
1t is said that the immortal lines be-
ginning, Mother may go out to SWIM"
are 1900 years old Multiplying 1900 by
1900 will show the number of times they
have been parodied.
No doubt, Mrs. Handled wanted to
get that bilion-dollar check cashed at 65
Broadway so she could buy few things
for Christmas. Tough luck!
DR.. Parkhurst calls the trial marriage
graduated polygamy," for which, We pre-
sumo, the divorce court will issue
diplomas.
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING REvERY.
Looking in the windows,
Wishing that I had
Forty million dollars
Haven't got a scad.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

After all, marriage is a trial, any
way, and Mrs. Parsons simply wants
to cut it short.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

If there is a centenarian in every
100 Bulgarians, then indeed those peo-
pie must not only live in wholesome
land, but they must lead the simple
life Possibly they have no million
aires, and no wild.eyed grabbers or
promoters. There is left, however, the
fear that official statistics are not
wholly trustworthy. For example,
those of 1900 in the United States, for
in the census of that year these fig
ures stand disclosed:
100 years Total
and over. population
Native whites native pa
rentage .......... 393 40,9A9362
Native whites, foreign
parentaSe % 10, 30 2SO
Foregn born Whites. 39l 10213S17
Negroes and of negro
descent -. ........2,oo3 $50 1914
Chinese and Japanese.... 1141S9
Indians :. ............... Ill 23l 1876
Total .,........o ,oo4 FiU.sNUSiS
sNot including 50l3. 1871 native born per-
sons of mixed foreign aud native parent
age.
The colored bretheren and sisteren
did certainly in the year 1900 mislead
the census takers, for nine millions of
negroes do not furnish IS per cent of
the countrys centenarans. The Bull
garians may have played the census
game very much as the negro in the
south did. and the statistics from either
are simply misleading. The claim of
the negroes to zoos centenarians eX,
cites no surprise in this country. anil
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02
ADRlFT WITH THE TIMES.
STERN NECESSITY

STERN NECESSITY.
When inspiration fits afar,
Likewise the truant muse
And many rare complexities
My added brain confuse,
Think We, I yield to circumstance
And write no verse that day?
Bosh! One who can't afford to quit
Must rhyme on any way.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Texas is not yet entirely satisfied as
to Senator Bailey's relations with the
oil trust.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Daily and Sunday Age-Heraid. :. $500
Daily and Sunday. per month";. 20
Sunday Age-Herald, per annum.. 2.Oo
Weekly Age Herald, Ser annum. l'oo
Subscriptions payable in advance.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala, post
office as second class matter under act
of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Peary says he prefers dogs to air.
ships. Not as a steady diet, but for
hauling.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Benjamin Ryan Tillman's courage is
no longer doubted in Chicago
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Texas is preparing to take a fall out
of the Pullman company.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Count Boni retains nothing but his
maiden name.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Past tense-my Boni lied over the ocean
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

SHOCKING.
The Pittsburg man,
To save his life,
Can not remember
Who's his wife,
And when he seeks
Some one to kiss
tbs apt to be
A chorus miss,
Or else the spouse
OF one who is
Away from home
Attending biz.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

w. d. Lanier and A. j. Eaton. Jr'' are
the only authorized travelling repre-
sentatives of The Age-HeTald In It's
circulation department..
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

The turkeys that escaped are now
face to face with Christmas.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Senator Cullom, who keeps his ears
close to the ground, demands tariff re-
vision.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02
ALABAMA PRESS

Opelika Post: The poets write columns
about the beauties of autumn, but We
poor mortals must remember the coal
bins
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

1t has been long time since we read
parody on Everybody Works But Fa-
thern
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Thanksgiving was invented in New
England, but it did not secure mo-
nopoly of it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Chicago has monkey that pinehes ana
is named Caruso. He does not sing, how
ever.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Endeavor to always be honest,
Should such good resolve not avail.
Be sure to employ a good lawyer
Who'll keep you from going to Jail.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

of his church troubles.
After all, marriage is trial, any
way, and Mrs. Parsons simply wants
to cut it short.
Texas is not yet entirely satisfied as
to Senator Bailey's relations with the
oil trust.
----s.-
Peary says he prefers dogs to air.
ships. Not as a steady diet, but for
hauling.
Senator Cullom, who keeps his ears
close to the ground, demands tariff re-
vision.
The Presidents 2S-pound turkey has
been assimilated and turned into siren
uousness.
Thanksgiving was invented in New
England, but it did not secure a mo-
nopoly of it.
Sir Thomas Upton stands amazed at
Americas prosperity and racing quail
ties.
Representative Tawney says spelling
reform makes him tired. Same here.
------s.-
Count Boni wants $4,000 week to
go on the stage. There's art for you.
-.s-----
In Albert 7. Patricks case guilt can
neither be proved nor disproved.
The turkeys that escaped are now
face to face with Christmas.
Benjamin Ryan Tillman's courage is
no longer doubted in Chicago.
Texas is preparing to take fall out
of the Pullman company.
Count Boni retains nothing but his
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Sir Thomas Upton stands amazed at
Americas prosperity and racing quail
ties
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

The Presidents 2S-pound turkey has
been assimilated and turned into siren
uouSneSS.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Just think how thankful we should he
that the Thanksgiving pumpkin pie
famine was in Paris instead of Boston!
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Perhaps the new-style spelling might
go better about Easter time.
The small boy is already beginning to
wonder why it is that his mother keeps
such vlgilant watch over the key to that
hall closet.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

No communication will be published
without its authors name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

In Albert 7. Patrick's case guilt can
neither be proved nor disproved.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Representative Tawney says spelling
reform makes him tired. Same here.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Count Boni wants $4,000 week to
go on the stage. There's art for you.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Eufaula Times: The tramp thinks this
is the worst winter so far he ever en-
countered. Everybody seems to be want
ing to give him job.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

The lazy man simply sits on the bank
and wiggles his toes In the stream of
time.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Andalusia News: The startling sugges-
lions about matrimony that are con-
stantly being made, never make any diff
ference in the business done by the mar
riaEe license clerk
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

COULD HAVE BEEN CHORUS GIRL
Said Mister Ten-Millions
Who married his nurse
There's no use denying
/ might have done worse"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

Jacksonville Record: Whatever other
.criticisms the President may have to
make on Panama he cannot complain of
having had a dry time while he was there.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-02

AS YOU GO.
Just travel along and keep working,
Your eye to the front on the goal,
No matter how pleasant is Sinking,
Twill never amass you a roll.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-01-03
W0MAN'S WORST DANGER.

No woman with unsound kidneys
can be healthy. Sick kidneys, in
fact, cause the majority of women S
troubles.
But there is no need to get down
hearted if you suffer constant back
ache, WEAKNESS, bearing-down
pains, sick headaches, etc. Doan's
Kidney Pills have brought new life
and strength to thousands of wo-
men afflicted in this way.
1t is easy to tell if your kidneys
are the cause of your ailments.
Backache itself is only the aching
of the kidneys when congested and
inflamed. You feel it in the back
because the kidneys are in the
small of the back. The bladder and
urinary tubes get swollen, crowd
ing the delicate female organs near
by, and causing many of the Pc
culiar pains thought to be female
troubles.
Sick headaches, dizzy spells, ner-
vousness, irritability, neuralgia and
rheumatic pains, weak eyes, palpi-
tation of the heart, ETC., are caused
by the retention in the blood of
poisons that the kidneys should FL
ter out and pass off in the urine.
Urinary disorders are sure signs
of kidney sickness. If the urine
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-01-03
Rug the Curtain Down.

Just why the world
shelf for keeps and then lost his julia whom
has often declared be
The sporting fraternity always fought
Well, lie
depths necessary
sold out the public?
would be just logical
plain John Henry Smith, who
But John Henry couldn't
record His Julia could eope Sunday
causing ripple
The truth of the matter years a
ness so morally debang that by
decency or forced by public sentiment
lighting which almost elevating
an slaughter house is all but of
Fitz fought money. always worked
calmly and theoretically of greed and
desire to confound his critics led him
he should have been seeking
be some provision fofr prize fighters
stakes at 40
n would SEEM under the circumstances
FOR Mr. Ftzsimmons take his pleading heart
out OF the lmeight He is delaying he
H He is worse than hasbeen. HE'S A CHESTNUT.
Gen Trepoff in letters He's luck Everybody
tse getting blls
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-01-03

PITTSBURG, Jan. 3. - Society
gasps at the discovery that Nine
Marta Sandal-Bramsen, prima dom
ma and wife of the first 'celloist of
the Pittsburg orchestra, doesn't
wear stockings and she doesn't
wear corsets. And to cap off her
eccentricities, she hates jewelry.
She says it is barbaric.
The gifted Swedish soprano ap-
peared as soloist with the Pitts
burg orchestra several weeks ago,
and a few people got a glimpse of
bare ankles. Well - their suspi-
cions were confirmed several days
later when Nine. Bramsen enter
tanned one evening at her home
and appeared sans hosiery.
Nine. Sandal-Bramsen explains
that she thinks corsets abominable
and is greatly shocked at seeing
so many American women wearing
them. AS to hosiery, she says it
| does positive injury to the foot
| in addition to being superfuous
She takes just as much care of her
feet as of her hands. Instead OF
shoes she wears sandals.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-01-03
-A1xr. Lz4RzA c5Au1Az oBRAnSxw

She makes all her own clothes.
In the house she wears typical
Norwegian dress. When she sings
she wears low necked garments,
as she believes the throat should
be open.
Nine. Bramsen is an extremely
athletic woman, an accomplished
horsewoman, a good tennis player
and an expert on snowshoes. When
she married M. Bramsen several
years ago, she chose as their
honeymoon trip a tour through Lap
land, and they travelled much on
skis, sliding for miles down hills
and walking over huge snow drifts.
She can speak Swedish, Norwegian,
Danish, French, Italian and Ger
man, and is now studying English.
King Oscar II of Sweden heard
Nine. Bramsen sing when she was
IA and arranged to have her enter
the royal conservatory at Chris.
tiania, so she could perfect her mu-
steal education. When only 10
years of age she sang before an
audience of 10000 in her native
city. She has been singing in pub
| lie ever since.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-01-03
HOW LAURA AND lETTlE UP.
SET THE OLD FOLKS
PLANS.

There was not in the palmy days
of old Virginia finer estate than
Belle Air. It's noble mansions
crossed hill of gentle slope, along
the foot of which rippled the wa
tiers of the James river. The space
between consisted of a broad and
ample lawn, shaded with magnifl-
cent forest trees.
Laura Beverly, the heiress of
Belle Air, was an orphan of 10. Her
parents had died while she was an
infant, and in the family of her
uncle, Colonel Leigh, she had en-
joyed the tender care and affection
bestowed upon the only daughter
Of her kind relatives.
Laura's father had expressed a
wish that his daughter and Charles
Workman, the son of an old friend,
should marry, but the idea did not
entirely suit the young woman, who
believed that she should have some
thing to say in the matter. She
had evolved a scheme for changing
affairs.
Lettie Leigh, her cousin, was to
play the part of heiress of Belle
Air, to see if the young man could
fall in love with money.
A similar engagement had years
before been entered into by the
parents of Lettie and the father of
the owner of Redlands, a nearby
estate.
Charles Workman and a friend,
Ernest Leftwell, arrived together
on the day they were expected, and
before the visit was really COM
menced, Workman was devoting
himself to Lettie. He continued his
attentions for the two weeks that
he was being entertained and on
the afternoon before the date set
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-01-03
Our Daily S&@ry.
Not Exactly as Arranged.

for departing the young folks went
for a walk in the woods. BY chance
the two couples separated and
when Leftwell and Laura appeared
on the veranda an hour or two
later the scene which greeted them
was picturesque. Colonel Leigh and
Charles Workman were engaged in
animated conversation, while Let
tie was in tears and her mother
was doing her best to comfort her
81 am satisfied, SIR" said Worth
am, in answer to some objection
Of the elder man, that Miss Vev-
erly will firi consolation for her
loss"
Miss Beverly will speak for her.
SELF said Laura, facing the group.
81 have just promised Mr.. Leftwell
that l will become his wife,"
The silence that greeted this an.
nouncement was oppressive and
the CONSERVATION on the faces Of
the older couple was amusing.
"But-but-surelythere Is some
mistake! You do not understand!
Miss Beverly" began the colonel
in an excited manner
eyes We do. uncle" rejoined his
niece. ernest knows all about it
and | know Lettie will not be jeal-
GUS when l tell her that | am to
have her heir of Redlands in re-
turn for Mr.. Workman, who, no
doubt, knows by this time that we
have practiced a little deception
all around"
And Charles doesn't care a bit
that | am not the rich Miss Bever-
ly,' broke in Lettie, her fair young
face presenting a picture of per-
feet happiness.
81 hope you will forgive us all,
SIR" said Leftwell, "for we are all
perfectly satisfied with the way
things have turned out"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-01-03
Men Who Rule Senate and
MiSrepresent the PEG Pile.

he o today?
o situation The mighty
through their
the M'onaas club ana the American
of Lords.
than the they
Newspaper Enterprise Association trusted
thousands miles expended hundreds dollars
misrepresent the
should they be- but AS THEY
ARE.
object articles this
give prejudice
day aw-makng
the lives of the system of the national legislative
lives of its leaders
greed ambition dishonesty
brief the
To sacrifice ideal parallel to the sensation of losing friend
To believe
coere of traitors who blink when special blink,
wise maintain integrity
great maoy-h to PROSTATE of most sacred ideals
Only the rankes cynsm would prompt the statement that all
in the unfaihful highest
really represent progress
proclaim
majority 1t is Them
themselves We shall deal with
lied which representatives
who represent.
The whole of suspicion
the spectacle of the president in his preaching
principles
No other American president called
astonishing
ROOSEVELT HAS ASKED CONGRESS FOR A SQUARE
DEAL
He trying to impress the nations
of legislation behalf Of the majority
fict with interests
Roosevelt proposed egaionlaws
equal footing with Rockefeer before
the humiliation of the through
ousne the senators chained wast linked
roads the vassals xuni gafers
will fight tooth and NAIL
they really halls
paid the
will witty pleasant paudes gentle
alties, but what they will to will be:
ITO HE'LL THE SHIPPER! AM WORKING
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-01-03
SPOKANE PROOF.

Mrs. A. l.. Winkley, of 1926 Col
lege avenue, Spokane. Wash, says:
Il have recommended Doan's Kid
ney Pills to a number of my friends
and neighbors because of the fine
work the remedy has done for
members of our family, especially
my brother, who found this remedy
of the greatest benefit in treating
a bad case of kidney complaint.
II the soothing and healing proper
ties of Doan's Kidney Pills were
universally known kidney com
plant would lose many of its ter
rors."