The Washington times., 1906-12-02
Ian Odd Freak

man tnOuBnJlullys as ne
selected an empty soap
box on the wharf for a
seat, the whole world would be diff
ferent if we all 'ad more of 1t. 1t
would be a brighter and a 'appler
place for everybody"
He broke of to open a small brass
tobacco-box and place a little quid Of
tobacco tenderly into a pouch in his
left cheek, critically observing at the
sane time the efforts Of a somewhat
large steamer to get alongside the
next wharf without blocking up
moro than three parts of the river.
lie watched it as though the entire
operation depended upon his atten-
ton. and. the steamer fast, he turned
his eyes back again and resumed his
theme.
'Of course it's the being short
that sharpens people" he admitted
thOughtfully; the sharpest man l
ever knew never 'ad a ha'penny in
is pocket. and the ways e had o.
getting other chaps TO pay for is
beer would ha' made is fortin at the
law if ed only 'ad the eddication.
Playful little chap e was. I've seen
men wot didn't know i'm stand i'm
a pot o beer and then foller i'm
up the road to see i'm knock down
policeman as ed promised. They'd
fOller I'm to the fust policeman e
met, an then ed point them out
and say they were goin' to half kill
i'm, an the policeman 'ud just stroll
up an ask 'em wot they were 'ang-
ing about for, but l never card of a
chap telling i'm They used to go
away struck all OF a cap. He died
in the accident ward of the London
Horsep.ttle, poor chap"
He shook HIS head thoughtfully,
and ignoring the statement OF a
watchman at the next wharf that It
was a fine evening. shifted his quid
and laughed rumblingly.
The funniest way o. raising the
wind I ever card Of" he said in ex-
PLANTATION. was one that 'appened
about fifteen years ago. I'd Just
taken my discharge as A. B. from
the North Star. trading between
here and the Australian ports, and
the men wot the thing 'appened to
was shipmates o. mine, although
on'y firemen.
Il knows it's a true story. becos
was in IL a little bit myself, and
the other part I 'ad from all Of
en-. and besides. they didn't see
anything funny in It at all, or
anything out of the way. It
seemed to them quite a easy way
o. making money, and I dessay II
it 'ad come of all right I should
have thought so too.
In about a week arter we was
paid of at the Albert Docks these
chaps was all cleaned out, and
they was all in despair, with a
thirst wot wasn't half quenched
and a spree wot was ony in a
manner O. speaking just begun.
and at the end of that time they
came round to a room wot l 'ad,
20 see wot could be done. There
was four of EN- in all; Old Sam
Small, Ginger Dick, Peter Russet.
and a orphan nevy of Sans whose
father and mother was dead The
mother 'ad been 'alf niger an
'aIf Malay when she was living,
and Sam was always pertickler
careful TO point out that his nevy
took arter 'er IT was enough to
make the pore woman turn in 'er
grave to say so, but Sam used
to say that e owed it to is broth
er 70 explain.
"'Wot's to be done?' ses Peter
Russet. arter they'd all said wot
miserable chaps they was, an 'ow
badly sailOr-men was paid.
We're all going to sign on in the
Lands End, but she doesn't sail
for a fortnight; wot's 10 be done
in the meantime for to live?
There's your watch, Peter
ses old Sam. dreamy-like, and
there's GinEer's ring. It's d good
lob you KEEP that ring, Ginger.
We're all in the same boat, mates,
an I ony wish as I'd got some
thing for the general good It's
'aving an orphan nevy wot's KEEP
ire pore.
Stow it, ses the nevy, short
Ike.
Everything's agin u.s., ses old
sam. There's them four green
carrots l brought from Brazil, all
dead.
So are my two monkeys ses
Peter Russell shaking is cad;
they used to sleep with me. too
They all shook theiE 'eads
then. and Russet took Sam up
very sharp for saying that p'r'aps