davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

T is not surprising that a Birmingham
 laundry was robbed on a Friday night Every man who has any self respect likes to have clean linen for Sun day. But it would not have been unex- pected had the same laundry been en- tered feloniously on any night of the week. It is nearly as hard to keep clean in Birmingham as in Pittsburgh, which is bold assertion. The word "clean" is of course used in a physical and not an ethical sense. Collars don't stand much show in Birmingham but when every flake of soot represents a dollar. who cares?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
EDISON'S MOTOR BATTERY
From the Boston Globe.

From the Boston Globe.
 3 HAT wonderful inventor. Thomas 9 A. Edison. probably never will
 cease during his lifetime to amaze the world by his marvellous work Certainly the public is always pleased to hear of his achievements and wishes him success, as it feels that mankind already owes him large debt for past services.
 There will be little surprise manifested to hear that Mir. Edison, after experi- menting quietly for four years upon a storage battery, now informs a repre- sentative of the New York Times that he has worked out successfully the prob lem of cheap power, and will place upon the market within about six months a new storage battery which will enable every man to travel in his private car riage at about the cost of carfare.''
 Without danger, without breakdowns, without cost almost, carriage, once sup piled with the new power, for $200, will travel without repairs for 15 years for 100000 miles, if necessary, says MT. Edi- son. He reiterates the declaration that he has invented a storage battery which will solve the problem of congested traffic in the big cities of the world as soon as he can manufacture enough of them. He is erecting two large factory buildings, now nearly completed, and is installing in them new machinery especially for the manufacture of a motor battery that will be as common q factor in the business life of the world as the telephone is now.
 MT. Edison says. furthermore. that he will be able to sell at the cost of $10 a cell a storage battery that is almost in- destructible. It will travel 100000 miles before it is worn out. Twenty cells will be all that is needed for a rnnahout or brougham, and 60 cells will be enough for the largest and heaviest truck used For $2OO one will be equipped with mo- tive power that will need no renewal for b years.
 The next thing is for the rubber tire manufacturers to meet this commercial reduction of motive power, and the great inventor declares they have been work ing quietly on that proposition for some time, and In his opinion they will be
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
THEATRICAL SUPERSTITION.

From the Philadelphia Bulletin.
 They were rehearsing a new play, and every one was nervous, for the first night was close at hand.
 The play was a tragedy, yet at it's end the dying heroine, as the curtain de- scended, said
 "Three beers piease.'
 Those words concluded the play Yet they were entirely out of keeping. The concluding words should have been: T die, but since I have saved you l die bappy." or something to that effect.
 .'superstition. It is always thought bad luck in rehearsals of a new play to speak the last sentence before the open ing night. He who has the last sentence to speak substitutes some meaningless phrase for it. If he dared to speak the true phrase the prospects of the play would be thought doomed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
San Francisco's Discrimination.

President Altman of the San Fran cisco board of education is neither ex- plicit nor definite in his defense of the system of Oriental schools established in that city. For example, he does not state whether the law of his state com pels the establishment in San Fran cisco of Oriental schools, and he evades a statement showing that the one school already established is a color line school instead of an Oriental school
 The truth seems to be that the new system of Oriental schools is not de- signed so much for children of Oriental parentage as it is for all children who are not whites. Into these schools are to be gathered all negro children, all who are not of European origin. The color line is drawn so finely in San Francisco that a Mexican child who has Indian blood in his or her veins must attend an Oriental school.
 Japan would not object to the estab- lishment of Oriental schools for Ori- entals, but she does object to the as signment of Japanese children to color line schools. She says that the inno- cent little Japanese children should not be dscriminated against because they have yellow instead of white skins. Secretary Root is anxious to avoid | friction between the two countries, and he freely admits that our treaty with Japan calls for fair play to all Japan csc resident in this country, for one of it's provisions reads as follows: l In whatever relates to rights of resi- dence and travel the citizens of each contracting party shall enjoy the territories of the other the same priyi- leges, liberties and rights as native citizens or subjects, or subjects of the most favored nation.
 The Fourteenth amendment reads as | follows:
 | No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or i'm munities of citizens of the United States.
 And yet il is difficult to see how these provisions can be pleaded ill favor of the Japanese children-how California can be coerced. No one claims that the separate school sys. tems of the south contravene the Fourteenth amendment. The negroes of the southern states are citizens. and the Japanese cannot well claim greater rights or privileges than American fiti. zens possess.
 San Francisco proposes. 1t is ,.
 to stand by it's Oriental or co3oT-&ns schools, and the state of California stands behind her chief city. The United States is between two fires between treaty obligations and the re | served powers of state. while far. away Japan feels aggrieved and dis tressed, and her people are no doubt inclined to talk saucily to us.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
SOLID JOYS.
' Patrnore.

By COVeHlry Patm0re.
 Sweet order hath its draught of bliss Graced with the pearl of Gods consen, Ten times ecstatic in that 'tis Considerate and Innocent
 In vain disorder grasps the cup; The pleasures not enjoyed, but split; And. if he stoops to lick it up. It only tastes of earth and guilt; His sorry raptures rest destroys; To live, like comets they must roam; On settled poles turn solid joys, And sun-like pleasures shine at hemA
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
IN HOTEL LoBBIEs
Good Roads Agitation.


 ''The state democratic campaign com mittee has taken kindly to the matter of public road improvement, and Chair man J. Craig Smith has instructed the speakers in the field to discuss the sub ject with the voters of the state,3 said J. A. Rountree, secretary of the Alabama Good Roads association, yesterday.
 Chairman Smith has sent a copy of the resolution favoring the appropriation ot money for better roads by the legislature adopted at the recent state convention to all the speakers engaged in the cam paign and has requested that special stress be laid on the proposition.
 "The sentiment favoring better roads is growing, not only in this state, but all over the union. Since more than 80 per cent of all the commerce of the country is handled at some stage of it's move ment over the dirt roads, it is very im- portant that they be given all possible attention and be brought up to the very highest standard possible.
 "The campaign started four years ago by the organization of the North Ala bama and the South Alabama Good Roads associations will result in great good in this state. At the recent meet ing of the North Alabama association the two associations were merged into the Alabama Good Roads association, and this has given d new impetus to the movement The most. influential people of all classes in the Slate arefinterested and are taking active part in the agita- ton.
 We may not be able to secure an ap- propriation at the next session of the leg islature, but 1t will certainly come in a few years
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
"SLlMv FOR sly.
From The R,

From the Boston Herald
 It was stated recently that the Boer today admires above all other character istics in man that which he calls slim ness. " He is slim,' is about the greatest compliment a Boer can pay a man" To be slim is to be unscrupulously smart.
 But the term slim has been taken by the Boer from his foe. The word. meaning sly. cunning, crafty has long been used in the English provinces. Thomas Hardy makes one of his charac- ters in Under the Greenwood Tree' speaks of ''slim faced martel."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

it and why and where just as we would like to know why "2S' has become an ad- monition to depart. By the way, this is, We believe, the first introduction of figures as slang for general use, unless we make an exception of 4, Il. A as generally de- scrptive of the game of policy, dear to the heart of the colored brother. The telegraphers long ago adopted "73'' as signifying good wishes and kind regards and 5O' as meaning goodnight" and nobody knows clearly the origin of these. but the numbers have not come into common use. Nobody has ever traced successfully the history of any special specimen of popular slang. Many learned theories have been promulgated, but thers
 have been no satisfactory demonstrations.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
THE MOTIVE.

THE MOTIVE. Books, books, books,
 Rolling in tide, Books on this and books on that, Books on every side. Books with pretty covers and Books of sober hue, Millions on the market now, Millions more are due. Books, books. books.
 Big and little ones Some are gay and others sad, So the current runs. Some are never read at all, Some are thrown away, Yet, the output seems to grow Greater, day by day. Books, books, books,
 Why so many writ. When so very few, you know, Ever makes a hit? Here's the reason-maybe you Will agree with me. Lots of people want to make Money easily. Editor Blan of the Troy Messenger as- sures his readers that the airshlp at Montgomery was real, because he put his hand on it. A man says the weather is as hot in summer as the same place he says it is as cold as in winter. Sunday paper tries to tell where styles begin. Wed like to go there and wreck the place.
 GET FETCHED!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

ready eventually to meet the new condi tions that the storage battery will create.
 Every one is familiar with the break downs caused when the storage battery was first tried to propel runabouts, etc, and the need of recharging. The experi- ments to obviate the defects of the bat tery, therefore, are interesting.
 'I never believed that nature, so prolific of resources, could provide only lead as a material ingredient of the battery" said MT. Edison. T have always found her ready for any emergency, and, based on this confidence that she has never betrayed, l eommuned diligently with her. One day I discovered that nickel rust was as good as lead. Then 1 thought had accomplished the task
 The nickel rust, however, was a fail ure, and it appears that success was finally achieved by the use of cobalt. Co., bait being rather rare metal, the next step was to find large quantities of it. This is said to have been accomplished after much research, large deposits of It being discovered in Canada, Wisconsin, Oregon and Kentucky. A practically new pipSSSo was liitl lltCtSSdIN MVlcTGDy CO., bait could be separated from the ore cheaply, and this difficult task has been finished.
 MT. Edison bases his prospective sue cess upon many things, and says he has not kept 25,00O batteries working for three years without discounting all chances of failure.
 It does not appear that this battery is designed for the use of autmobes. Great speed is not desired, and MT. Edison has only thought of solving the problem of street traffic, which is so serious in all the great cities of the world. By sup planting the work horse it is believed this storage battery would reduce the congestion of street traffic one-half
 If MT. Edison meets with the success he anticipates there will certainly be added a motive power that would have very marked influence not only upon the transportation of merchandise through the streets of cities and towns, but in time there might be a large use of the battery upon light travelling car riages and possibly small automobiles.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
POLITICAL DISCOVERY

From the Washington Post.
 Governor Magoon has discovered that inc official pay rolls at Havana have been padded beyond recognition. First hint of a breach of the Tammany organization in Havana.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
THE POETS.

From the Buffalo News.
 The ..Farmcr Poet of "lnnoeents Abroad'' Is dead We still have left the Flat Poet of the New York Mail, the ..-,ssileg Poet of the Cleveland Lead
 and the '-O-Be-Joyful Poet of the
 s, .-onstitttiions '' So chirrup,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
coosA AND WARRIOR.

fin the Rome irinhne-
 The Birmingham Age-Herald is advoeat- Ing the expenditure of more money in o...ning up the Warrior river. We think inc matter of opening up the Coosa is q matter of equal importances if not more so.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

contemporary attempts to portray the perfect wife. The perfect wife and the perfect husband have not yet ar rived.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Baltimore News: The protest of Japan against the action of the San Francisco public school authorities puts a difficult problem up to Uncle Sam. How is he so- ing to control the behavior of municipal officials acting under state authority?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

When bankers fail in China they at once resort to self-decapitation. That settles their hash, and not their ac- counts with depositors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Louisville Courier-Journal: "A woman has as much right 10 money as a man. observes the New York Evening World. And she often asserts her right to both of these valuable assets by marrying the latter as soon as 1t has accumulated the former.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

It is to be hoped that Emma Gold mans fears of Alexander Berkman's suicide have some foundation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

John Cain of Indiana, who stole a reed organ, hauled it seyenty-five miles and sold it for $S was badly in need of money.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

The postcard craze is expected to make good the deficit in the postofiice department, $15000,0O0.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

It is quite probable that the theory that insanity is due to flats may be correct, although the majority of Amer jean people who go crazy do not live in flats. Neither do those who keep their wits.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Governor Magoon is pacifying Cuba by holding up before the discontented officers whose duties consist in the drawing of salaries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Brander Matthews spelling school was biggest when first born. The Car negie frost nipped 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

The standpat crowd consider Gov ernor Cummins almost as great a scoundrel as Governor LaFollette. The Aldrich brigade cannot abear deser- tions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

The horse shows are going ahead regardless of the fact that MT. Edison is about to abolish the horse alto. gether.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Senators Platt and Depew are show ing a decent respect for public opinion by keeping remarkably quiet in the pending campaign.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

The government has a new target which weighs seventy tons and IS larger target than MT. Hearst.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

The Duke of Marlborough will get s100,000 year, it is said If reports are to be credited, he ought to get about 100000 years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

It will be unkind to run trains under the capitol grounds when passes are taken away from Congressmen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

President Castro is back in harness and number of his ambitious subjects who hoped that the would die are dis appointed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Former Senator Burton is writing a book, and his seclusion is favorable to the task, provided the turnkeys do not insist on whistling the latest songs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Seven of the twelve members of the new Clemenceau cabinet are news paper men, and the Premier heads the list
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Louisville Post: A Tennessee alderman's mind was a blank for eight days, but at that he is more fortunate than the av- craze city father. -.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

The turbines got a big lift when the Dreadnought exceeded 22 knots in her trial test.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

to be a good marrying season, and Judge Leslie's office is in apple pie order and licenses can be issued with dispatch pothan Eagle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Richmond Times-Dispatch: The United States army has discovered a new sport. It is technically known as Shoot-the- lies
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

MT. Bryan predicts "a democratic Congress which will support Roose- welt"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Maxim 'Gorky will write his book on America in Italy, where the chances arc that distanesA will lend more 4en, schaillment to the view than he. experi1 'epced at close hand.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

The wind in Ohio might have known that It could not discourage a windy mar like William Jennings Bryan.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
Premium Cotton.

R. II, Pearson of Eutaw, who was awarded the first premium for a bale of cotton at the Montgomery, fair just closed was in Birmingham yesterday. The cotton was picked by prominent women of Green county and made an ex- tereSt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
FORGE OF HABIT

It takes a patent medicine advertiser to ask you impertinent questions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

 shake hands with him and ask how he's doing. straightaway he begins the hard luck story, and you cannot cut him off lest it appear you have no sympathy for him, and your engagement at some place is past due. This man is the limit If you know remedy for this case, l would be glad to hear it."
 Tree Trimmer Needed.
 eIt is a fact said Mayor Ward yester- day that Birmingham needs some man who understands his business to trim the trees that belong to the city and others which are public property. This is especi- ally true when the big forest trees in the new Idlewild park, near Green Springs, are considered. These trees are valuable property, and should be given careful at tention.
 "The trees on the streets and avenues of the city are public property, and Bir- mingham should have them attended to. I am certain that if the proper man comes along and convinees the City Coun- cil that he is capable to attend to this business. that he will be given employ ment of a fixed nature This is an inno- vation. somewhat, but good one. Treea in a big city are very, very valuable, and Birmingham will see to it that those l belonging to the city are properly at | tended to."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

You are a bright girl, Clarice. docto of philosophy is apt to be dry dock"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Huntsville Mercury: Alabama should dig a canal and connect the waters of the Tennessee and Warrior rivers. This is needed a great deal more than connecting the Chesapeake and Delaware bays by canal, a scheme for which is on foot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

4 New York woman made q good thing out of alimony-$S0,000 in a lump sum.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Harvard university will send an ex- petition to study little known tribes of South America. In the meanwhile the Harvard undergraduate will con tinue to be an object of study for the humorists of this country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

A strap-hanger died and went above. The crowd at the gate began to shove. He reached up-imagine his blank dis
 pairi
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Dallas News: With three members in the cabinet, it would be base ingratlthde for New York to go democratic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
BE SENSIBLE.

bb obNolblJE. Look up and contemplate the sky, The glory of the stars on high. Exalt your soul by lofty thought, Since inspiration can't be bought. But choose a place where men are And nothing can run over you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Houston Post: MT. Brisbane will have to see to it that hereafter every compli- ment the American offers 10 public man has the following qualification added: Provided the person so commended does not hereafter become a candidate against William Randolph Hearst
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
PRESS POINTS

Memphis Commercial-Appeal; Just anont the funniest thing on roller skates is the burlesque trust.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Simplified spelling is now on it's proper level. It is now considered joke.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Ozark Tribune: We are glad to note that the matter of good roads is again interesting the people of Alabama, and that a movement to arouse enthusiasm in this behalf is again on foot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Chattanooga Times: Mr Bryan contin- ues to get brief notices in the telegraphic dispatches, while Mir Hearst is getting full display. After next week Mr. Bryan may be expected to resume his position ,'top of column, next to pure reading natter at least for brief period.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
DESIGNATED

The football hero walks abroad, And as he proudly goes He's marked for honor by a strip Of plaster on his nose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30
ALABAMA PRESS

Montgomery Advertiser: How big are we?' asks the Chicago Journal Do you mean by weight and measurement or by your own estimate of yourself?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Yale fails to appreciate the Carnegie pig-iron spelling.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

Before we go to war with Japan it would be wise to ascertain just how many captured Russian ships she has reconstructed secretly, for she might sail across the sea and blow what is left of San Francisco off the map.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-10-30

The geographical cabinet officer is a lost quantity, especially from the south.