Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1901-1906, 1906-09-28
THE FUNNY FALL RIVER STORY.
Would Defy Anybody to Make Anything Out
OF It.

at was on q Fall River boat that this oe-
CURED" said Lieut.. Oscar King at the Lotos
club, ''and it's worth telling
'If it isn't funny cut il short, said Col.
Robert Gordon.
'But IT is funny replied Lieutenant
King, ''and I'm going to tell 1t. When we
pulled out OF New York there was a nice lit
tie sea running, just enough to knock the
formality out Of every one on board II was
the usual crowd, you know, and one couple,
evidently a bride and groom, attracted my
attention. He was one OF those busy men,
and she looked very new. Apparently II was
their first experience on boat. They were
timid at dinner and they had some difficulty
in locating their staterooms. Another pas
senger besides myself was interested in them.
He was heavy and black and his hat was
drawn over his eyes. You know the type,
colonel"
Eyes yes but go on said the colonel,
what was it, An elopementf'
Don't crowd, said Lieutenant King
''This Is my best story. You remember that
spring out on the Platte, colonel when there
was such shootingl Those were the days
when--'
Now look here, King" interrupted the
colonel, 'you got well started on a Fall River
boat bride and groom, detective, elopement
and all that sort of thing.
Certainly, remember Well, as | start
ed to say, the bride dropped her fan, and
before her husband could get il this mys'
FERROUS man whom took TO be detective
pounced upon It, opened it and read some
thing written inside. Then he handed it
quickly to the bride Say, colonel, do you
remember the day you fred both barrels into
the flock and didn't get birdi How
you--''
king, you are wandering said the
colonel Don't you rememberi Fall River
boat, bride and groom, elopement, detective
and fan.
'To be sure I do continued King, ''and
propose to finish it,
The three men at the table drew near.
"WeiI.' he said, sit struck me as funny
at the time that the bride didn't seem angry
at the detectives insolence. She paid no at
tention to it. I don't think that her husband
noticed that the fellow opened the fan. That
was my impression then, and have had no
reason to change il"
Lieutenant King was talking slowly and
conservhtively He had interested his lis
teners.
ut was an unusually rough night, with
nasty westerly wind that brought rain ] re-
member it well After smoking a pipe |
turned in about midnight. For some reason
something was going to happen. What are
you fellows going to have2'
"Same's before, but go on, said the
colonel and his friends in chorus.
eyes, | remember that my restlessness
was the same restlessness that seized me the
night before the brush with the reds when
you got tapped in the shoulder, colonel 1t
was the same feeling of uneasiness. You
know it, colonel2''
Eyes, but go on. What about the bride
and groom and the detectivel"
"As impatient as ever, colonel, ] see
Well / tossed and was tossed around for
hours Then fell asleep. l was aroused by
sudden shock The sun was shining into
my stateroom and the boat had stopped-er-
what are you fellows going to haveq'
liking, what on earth happenedl' asked
the colonel ''No, nothing more.
'well, I-did-not-know,' continued
Lieutenant King. II ran for steward and
said to him: Where are we now'
AT Fall River he replied.
II thought So said T. 4 have never
seen mosquitoes so thick
Lieutenant King paused. His listeners
looked at him. Then he arose and said
"Well, gentlemen, I must be going Good
night Before any one had recovered he
was gone.
''But-but-but, stammered the colonel,
when he recovered his Speech ''was that all
of the story?
'Must have been,' said another listener.
''He evidently wound it up
'fBut l don't see the point. Bride and
groom, detective fan, sudden stop, Fall
River-T have never seen mosquitoes so
thick Was it funnyl What was e.
Don't know, I'm sure, said the third
man. Let's get out-now."
t'They look as if King had been telling
them his Fall River story remarked Chan
dos Fulton, as three dazed.looking men
walked out into the dark.-Boston Pilot.