davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
Reinforcing His Explanation,

The editor Of the Cory Gulch Vindi.
Gator happening to look out Of his viii
dow saw Comanche Pete approaching
the office with an expression Of wrath
on his face and a revolver in each
hand.
CHANGING hastily at a copy of the
Vindicator that lay on the table be-
fore him he sought to ascertain the
cause Of the impending visit. His eye
was caught by this item:
They are talking Of running our IL
lustrious fellow citizen, Comanche
Pete, for town marshall. He's q
huckster-that's what Pete is"
He had barely time to snatch a big
revolver from the drawer in his table
when the door opened and Comanche
Pete came in.
Pete" quietly remarked the editor,
leyeling the weapon at him, throw
up your hands. I've got the drop on
you. / wrote it hustler "-Chicago
Tribune.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
A TramD CheInfst,

II am Nicholas Giulot, professor OF
chemistry" said a tramp gathered with
other %vagabonds in the streets Of Paris,
when asked by the police lieutenant to
identify himself. And from his filthy
clothes he tished documents proving
that he spoke the truth. Investigation
showed that the tramp vas a former
lecturer at the University Of Paris,
that for years he had astonished the
scientific world by his discoveries, and
that finally the Government sent him
to the Congo to study certain topo
graphical and other conditions. When
he came back from Africa the former
society nan seemed to have lost all his
energy, and gradually vanished from
sight. "Send me to prison for a week,
1T least" he begged the police. Il
must have regular food and q bed, lest
[ perish.'-Chicago News.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
Victims, All.

The West Philadelphia Branch of the
National Fraternity Of Hay Fever Suf-
: ferers has assessed it's members a
quarter each, to be paid into a national
fund which, it is hoped, will be large
enough to. induce some fellow with
brains to invent a positive and perma-
nent cure for the malady. This asso-
citation is DO joke with the sneezers,
no matter what the outsiders may
think. The officers work without sal
airy, and no one is eligible to member
ship who is not a full-fedged hay few
er sufferer. No puny snip of a sneeze
is accepted as warrant for an appli-
cant's eligibility. One must be able
to rip out a sneeze that for violence
and virulence equals a scream before
an application for membership is so
much as considered. At q meeting Of
the West Philadelphia Branch it was
necessary to dispense with the read
ing of the minutes because Of the Sec
retary's wheezy condition.-philadel-
phia Record.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
The Beauties of Our Land.

Natures beauty in America is a mar
yelous and rarely wonderful spectacle.
There are long rivers the rushing
sweep of which drain the heart of the
continent. The Rocky Mountains, lift
ing granite peaks, alien and remote, far
up into the clouds; Scared clefts and
canons, deep wooded valleys that hint
of savage withdrawal from human as
ISOLATION. The mysterious and bar
barrie land of the mesas, and the great
primeval forests that whisper and rus
tie, and CLEAN and gloom in light and
darkness, and through every season of
the year. The forest that is never
aeen twice in the same aspect and
never tells the same story; is as silent
as the grave and yet is filled with COLI
stantly moving, hidden, unseen life; as
changeful and mutable as human
thought, and as mysterious as the I'M
pulses that sway human acts.-Metro-
politan Magazine.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
A Regular Boston Joke.

The professor had been summoned as
nm expert witness in a case involving
the ownership Of q tract Of coal land.
Il will ask you, professor" said the
attorney for the prosecution, IF the
geological formation Of this land cor
responds with the published data per-
tanning therefor"
1T does. sir" he answered.
You have thoroughly read up the
geology of the tract in question:?
II have not" ~:
you have not?"
mo. sir"
81 ask the jury to notice that the
witness fatty contradicts himself. Now,
sir, if you haven't read up The geology
involved in this case, why do you pre-
tend to know anything about it?"~
because, sir" said the professor,
Sin studying geological formation it is
my invariable custom to read down."
"Silence in the courtroom" thun-
dered the judSe.-Chicago Tribune.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
A PERSIAN CURE
Their C1ude and superstitious Method
of Doctoring.

Their Crude and superst1tious Method
of Doctoring.
OF the progress Of medical science
the Persian people know little. They
divide diseases into two classes, hot
and cold. A cold remedy is applied
to q "hot" disease, and a hot remedy
to q "cold" one. In with the Pill
grims to Mecca" the author tells his
experience with n Of their physi-
clans:
The evening before I left Mecca for
Jiddah I was suffering from a rack
ing headache, and my friends advised
me to consult q certain Arab physi-
clan.
In the East they never break the ice
of silence with a remark on the
weather. The customary opening is to
inquire If you are in health. I told
the doctor, in answer to his question,
that I had a bad headache, and had
come to him to be cured. He asked
me on which side the head ached. /
touched the spot, w%hereupon he fell
to rubbing it vigorously with the palm
of his right hand, calling out the while
to the urchin to fetch the necessary
apparatus for the forthcoming opera
ton. The boy disappeared. In q Jew
minutes he came. back, bearing in both
hands q round, hollow plate Of clay
in which were a few Jumps of burning
charcoal.
The next thing he brought in were
a couple of iron rods about twice the
length of an ordinary pencil, together
with a cup filed with q black liquid,
composed, if / mistake not, Of starch
and the SCOT of an oil lamp. The doc
tor thrust the rods in the glowing char
coal. The fear of being branded
bathed ny brow in sweat. The doctor
assured me 1 had no cause to be afraid.
The tips of the rods by this time
were red-hot. Having tipped them in
the cup Of ink, he closed his eyes,
and then raised his voice in an incanta-
ton that lasted several minutes. Not
a single word could I understand.
When it was over he opened his eyes,
and saying the word"Bismillah," pro-
ceeded to draw with one Of the rods,
now cool, on my right temple, five per-
pendicular' lines crossed by five hori-
zontal ones, thus forming sixteen tiny
squares. Several magic hieroglyphics
besides were inscribed in the same
manner behind my ears and on the
nape of my neck.
After every operation the good doc
tor would pause to ask me" us the pain
gone now" -Four times did I tell the
truth; then, fearing further tattooing,
I assured the persevering little mai
that l thought I was better.
His joy knew no bounds. He said
tie secret was left to him as an in
heritance from his father, and that on
no account must I wash off the signs
until the next day, or the pain would
|. return,
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
His Parting Shot.

"Beggin' y'r parding, num-" said the
polite cabman, gazing at the shilling
which reposed in his palm, "but this
SUN amt sufficient to liquidate your
lierbilitjes. Greet fares one and a
tanner"
Nothing. of the sort, my man."
snapped the elderly female standing
on the pavement. 1.-THE exact distance
from the spot where I engaged you to
the door of this house is just 200 yards
short of a mile. You cabbies can't
cheat me-" she continued, triumphant
ly II know too much for you. I
haven't been riding about in cabs for
the last twenty years for nothing!"
mo, mum?" said the Jehu, inquir-
ingly. with his head On one side. You
serprise me. 'Taint your fault if you
'aven't, num-" he went on, as he gath
cred up his reins; "IIl bet you've done
your little best"
And before his late passenger could
think of an appropriate reply he was
out of sight.-Tit-Bits
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
How Fog Strains the Eyes.

Many of the officers Of steamships
running in this port are afflicted with a
new disease, which for want OF q bet
ter name some of them call the fog
eve" It is an Inflammation caused by;
peering into the fog. and while painful
it soon passes away.
Captain Higgins and the officers Of
the United States Fruit Company's
passenger and mail steamer Admiral
Sampson, which arrived at Long
Wharf this morning after a good run
from Jamaican ports, were among
those whose eyes were affected by the
fog. Running through fog and trying
to distinguish objects when it is al
most impossible to see a vessels length
away is a heavy strain on the eyes, and
the fog, combined with the heat, pro-
duces a smarting sensation. - Boston
Transcript.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
Bus TOD Information.

A porty, middle-aged schoolmarn
from interior New Jersey engineered;
her Juvenile nature study class OF slH
boys and six girls on a Saturday az
ternoon trip atop a Fifth avenue
double-decker stage. The youngsters
availed of the opportunity to treat
teacher to a rapid-fre series OF oil
manner of questions. Many'of the'in-i
quiries relating to "Whose house 10
that" etc., stumped the educator anG
she in turn was dependent for this
information upon the lone man VINO
found space on the second-story tier or
seats. !.
As the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel was
passed Oracle asked Herbert aIf
about it. He replied right of the pat:
There's where Mrs. Aston lives"
When the Vanderbilt mansion at t1fty1
eighth street came in view little
"Herby" youchsafed this news: THAT'S
old man Vanderblt's fat."-New YorEl
Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
Didn't Want the Whole Lot.

When several years ago Billy Has
was running for office in Indianapolis
the boo" gang was alive. A few days
before election one Of the most glib
members told Hays that he and his
fellows absolutely controlled ten pre-
cincts. .
IF you want them precincts" said
the boo, I'VE can get 'em for you. All
we ask is a dollar"
Hays thought a while.
Ten precincts, you say, for a dollar.
That would be ten cents a precinct"
said Hays in all seriousness. "Iu just
take two precincts" and with this
Hays reached into his pocket and
pulled out two dimes for the boos.-
indianapolis News.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
FI@AE%
S@@E9ESf@

Knicker What caused the accS
dent?" Bocker-"He suddenly gained
control Of his machine ."-Broohiyn
Lite. l
Poet-'This, sir, is the only poem I
ever wrote" Editor-"Well, cheer ups
Nobody is going to take it away from
you."-Cleyeland Leader. Z
Autumn all our sorrow doubles,
IT'S the season of despair,
But I'd stand the other troubles
Weren't not for football hair.
IT notice they've got some Insurance.
men on the stand in New York;
Looks more like they've got en- on
the runw-New Orleans Nmes-Demo-
crat. {
Bob-"Miss Subbubs has asked me To-
call tonight" Dick-"Yes" Bob,
Eyes. What shall I wearT Dick (Whd
has been there)-"'Ware of the dog!"t-,
Philadelphia Ledger.
"a mar always gets on easier by taAa
ing his wife's advice" yes" an
swered Mr.. Meekton. when things
turn out badly there 1Snt SO mueu
said."-Washington Star. ~
The chap who's on some jury,
Receiving two per day, .S
Meier bursteth forth in fury : -, =,
About the laws delay. (
"Do you think it is honest for a man
to accept money for a campaign fundgtt
why, YES" answered Senator S0r-i
ghum, IF he really turns it oVer to the
fund."-Washington Star.
Sox-"Has your young brother made
I'D his mind what he wants to or
Fox-"Not yet; but I think he woaid
like the position Of special adviser TO-
a lady's golf club."-Judge.
Edith-"Papa is immensely pleased
to hear you are a poet" Ferdy-"ls
he?" Edith-"Oh, very-the last OF my
lovers he tried to lick was a footbaH
player."-Chicago Daily News.
Singleton-"Have you decided what
YOU are going to call the baby, old
MANI" Notwithstanding Pm
going to call him whatever my wife
names him."-Chicago Daily News.
Mrs. De Fashion lat a childrcn's
party)-"Marier Nurse Girl "Yess
ma'sm.' Mrs. De Fashion-"lts time,
for usNto go home. Which Of these
children is mine?"-New York Weekly.
Burglar-"Here's a bill from a SUM
mer hotel" His Pal "Receipted?Hi
Burglar-"Yep." His Pal-"Den we're
too late. Leave a nickel on de bureau
fer de poor guy, and We'll skidoo."-
Puck. 7
Nurse-"Bridget, come here, and see
a French baby born in Dublin.
Bridget-"Poor little darlint! Its al
great perplexity you'll be to yourself.
I'm thinkin', when you begin shpeak4
in'!'-Punch.
"Remember," said the serious friend.
'that you are a servant of the people,
Eyes" answered Senator Sorghum!
.sThe trouble is that nowadays you are
expected to serve the people withoue
accepting any tips."-Washington ffar1
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
Insurance For Pigs.

A scheme for the cooperative insur'
ance Of pigs has been started in Wilt
shire, the idea being to strengthen by
arlalgamation the hundred or more pig
insurance clubs which already exist
in the county, and to form new pig
clubs in villages which are the source
of some Of our best breakfast ba-
con. The new association, which is to
be known as the Wiltshire Pig lnsur-
ance and Provident Association, is to
be registered under the friendly soc1e-
ties act.-London Express.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
Art in Advertising.

ART III
The man DESTROYS of keeping in touch
with the doings Of the commercial
world around him may find a walk
along any prominent thorouShfare IN
any large city merely a piece OF 1nvis-
Grating exercise, but if his eyes are
wide open it may be a liberal educa-
ton. Eternal vigilance is not only the
price Of liberty, it is also the price OF
sound, up to date business methods.
A merchants show window is without
a doubt the one in which he is most
interested, and the one that he wants
to have the most attractive, but it
must be remembered that his Compel
itor also has the same object in view,
and his methods for attaining it are
worth careful consideration, not only
that one may get some good ideas,
but also that Il may learn wherein
he is wrong and void the same mis-
take in your displays.
But there is another field open to
| the student of business methods, n
while at the present time it is one Of
the widest, yet the likelihood Of even
greater development in it is evident to
| all, so that it beEooves the merchant,
be he ever SO obscure, or the clerk,
| though his position be of the humblest,
to carefully watch it. 1t is the adver-
Using )lunns Of the daily and class
papers. There is no sprer barometer
of trade conditions than these same
| advertisements; there is no indicator
| of the tendencies Of the public tasto
that is quite so sensitive, nor is there
n that the wide awake business mar
watches more closely; for it shows
him what his neighbor is doing to at
tract custom, while in his class or trade
journals the advertisements give him
the latest development. in his own field
of labor. The day is long past for a
f%amboyant announcement that the
goods described below are better and
| cheaper than they have ever been be-
fore or will .er be again. The best
form of ADVERT ing would speak OF
these goods as UNUSUAL, attractive,
and if in addition it was claimed that
they were low in prices as we'll, the
reason for this would be plainly ana
simply stated.-Press and Printer.
No Cause For Alarm.
The silent partner was glanclnS
over q statement he had found on the
cashiers desk.
"Do you mean to say this is all the
money we've made this year" he
yelled. "Why, there's been gross mis-
management here and somebody is 60
ing to get fred"
Don't get excited, Bill" said TIL
head Of the packing-house gently
"That's just 4 little document we've
been getting up. There's an invest
gatinc committee around"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
Love and Middle Ace.

Rumor tells us that the middle.aged
woman is again to GUST the jcune file,
who has had q sort of innings" Of late.
And as the stage sets a great many OF
our fashions, 1t looks as if rumor were
correct for once in a way. At all
events, the love affairs of the middle
aged are just now occupying our
stage to n considerable eXtent.--Lon.
don World.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
Our Sophisticated Foods.

Suppose you ask for the grocer's pest
strawberry jam, and he charges you
%four-pence a pound for it, and you get
a mixture of foreign fruit-pulp, sweet
ened with glucose, colored with aniline
dyes, with seeds alien to the straw
berry put in, you have no legal cause
of complaint; and the dealer is quite
free from prosecution, provided he has
included in the composition one or two
Observation-Disclosures Magazine.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
Knows the Business.

Little Harold's father is at the adj
vertising end of a big paper, and the
youngster often hears technical terms
IN the talk about him. A family
friend recently brought a box of choco-
lates when he called, and giving them
to the boy, said: Now, Hal, I hope
you'll mention me in your prayers for
that"
PUT your name in one time for
that" was Master Harold's reply. IF
you want to be mentioned every night
until further notice you'll have to
bring me q bigger box New York
Press,
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
Russian Inv,

In Russia laws are made to be
broken. A native critic said that Rus
Sian legislation was like a horseshoe;
it came so hot from the anvil that no
one dared to touch it, it soon grew so
cold that every one handled it, and
finally it was trodden under foot-New
York American.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
Come1a "a Petg.

Baby camels are great pets in South
Africa, and are nursed and tended and
even carried about by their attend
ants. The very young camel is an
awkward creature with a long neck
and uncertain legs. During the first
"aw months they weigh no more than
III ordinary doS.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14

A girls education is most incomplete
unless she has learned
TO sew.
TO cook.
To mend.
To be gentle.
TO value time.
TO dress neatly.
TO keep a secret.
TO avoid idleness.
To be seIf-reliant.
To darn stockings.
TO respect old age.
To make good bread.
To keep a house tidy.
10 be above Sossiping.
TO make home happy.
TO control her temper.
To take care Of the sick.
To take care of the baby.
To sweep down cobwebs.
To marry a man for his worth.
To read the very best of books
To take plenty Of exercise.
To be a helpmate TO her husband
TO keep clear of trashy literature.
TO be light-hearted and feet-footed.
To be n womanly woman under oil
Observation-Disclosures Inquirer.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
A SONG OF THE NIGHT.

The world is white in the mild moons
light;
The lilies bloom in her silver sight;
Meseems some wonder is waking under
The s~tar-fowered quiet of middle night.
From pole to pole, like a singing scroll,
The spheral sounds of the star-songs roll;
The air is cleaning with shapes of dream
ing;
"A mystic music IS on my soul. L..
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14

The wonder grows, like an opening rose;
I feel It's wings Ger the world u~nclose.
1t fills me; there, in the middle air,
A splendor as of a meteor's hair!
The gates of heaven are open; the seven
Great angels glitter upon the stair.
John Payne, in The Living Age.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
FOOTBALLS DEbTH.LiST.
Startling Record Of UNNECESSARY Rough
ness" For Only Five Years.


Forty-fivc deaths and hundreds OF
serious injuries is the record Of foot
b&il for the lRst five years. Hardly
4 single game has been played during
which it has not been necessary to
carry one OF more Of the players from
the field. In almost every instance the
death or injury was due directly to the
heavy mass plays against which Prcsi-
dent Roosevelt and The country at
large are protesting so vigorously.
TO chronicle all the injuries would
require tlH use of thousands of names,
and even then none would be included
where the hurt was Of a less serious
character than the breaking of a collar
bone. The mere spraining of an ankle
is not considered of sufficient import
ance to interest anybody except the
individual player, and perhaps his
parents.
But in the big college games alone
the list Of injuries is large enough to
prove interesting, showing, as it does,
ten legs and fourteen collar bones
| broken in four years of play for q BRIEF
six weeks each, to say nothing of four
| skulls fractured, five spines injured,
four shoulders dislocated and a couple
of broken noses. One player got his
neck broken without its causing his
death.
Of tic forty-five who gave their lives
to football, nearly every death may be
traced to the unnecessary roughneSs'
| against which Mr.. Roosevelt has pro-
tested. Picked up unconscious from
beneath a mass of players, it was gen.
| orally found that the victim had been
| kicked in the head or stomach, SO as
TO cause internal injuries or conc!s-
| sion of the brain, which sooner or later
ended life.
Sixteen died as a result. Of internal
injuries, four from broken necks, six
from conclusion Of the brain, eight
from broken backs, three from paraIy-
] sis, two from heart failure, n from
.lockjaw, one from blood poisoning, due
to a cut received in a game; n from
| hemorrhages and two from meningitis
| induced BY spinal injuries suffered in
play.
Football casualties il five years:
| Dooth, a.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
VANlTAS VANIToRuM

BALLADE.
Good and Bad,
Saint and Sot,
Wise and Mad
Matters not; -
Earth is shot
Full with inanity:.
Hence the mot
to, All is Vanity, :.
Girls that glad
Gowns have got,
Fashion, Fad
All such rot =
One may spot
With mild profanity:
Hence the mot
to, AL is Vanity!
King and Cad,
Idiot ,
Love, too, add
In the plot,
With q lot
OF fine urbanity: y;
Hence the mot
TO-, All is Vanity!
ENVOY.
These are what
Make up Humanity.
Hence the mot
to-, All is Vanity!
Felix Carmen, In Lilo,
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
The Cloudburst
at Old Tehachapi
az
BY DANE COOLIDGE.

azss s$ss S: $szszA ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-03-14
Football casualties il five years:
Complete Education.

A girls education is most incomplete
unless she has learned
The Brinkley argus., 1906-07-20
Council Proceed ai11|s.

sl
 City counolI mel |, rotluax session Tuesday night. all msnben being ppsssnt except Clerk 6hekeA. Alder man H. L. D. Whitson was appointed Clerk pro. tenn.
 Tho first item of business was d. lowing the monthly accounts. When the vote was taken Aid. Mitchell voted no, with the explanation that he did not positively know that some of the bills were o. K. and tlstly due. one o1 which was for removing dead animals. His position was that serict economy must be practiced by tho city and the Council could not affort tos allow !: bill without being pOsisisssof Us inst ness. Aid. Fon copcurrsd in the doc larations of Ald. MitchelL The latte changed hls vote to Aye when expla nations were made.