The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-11-04
SOME STORIES MIR. BRYAN
 RELATES IN HIS SPEECHES

Is not altogether new. After explain Ing his belief that no Republican dare touch the present tarin for fear of offending those who. he alleges. con- tribute the money for the campaign work. MT. Bryan tells the following:
 There was once a man who went into a clothing store. He stole coat and started to run down the street. The clothing dealer hurried out into the street and shouted "Stop thief" but the thief would not stop.
 Then the clothier appealed to a po- liceman and the policeman shouted stop. thief" but the thief would not stop. Then the policeman drew his re- volver and shouted to the fleeing thief, Stop, or I'll fire! Then the excited clothier cried out to the policeman:
 Shoot him in the pants; the coat belongs to mel"
 "so there you are." concludes MT. Bryan. after reciting this anecdote. ''The Republican Party don't dare to shoot the thieving trusts in the coat because the coat belongs to them. They don't dare shoot anywhere. for fear of hitting something that belongs to them"
 Mir Bryan sometimes makes jokes at the expense of himself and of the issues on which he has met defeat. While he was being taken over to Newarx on the third day of his stay in New York he told the newspaper men this tale:
 My former campaigns and the re- suits that came of them remind me or a man who came out to Nebraska to take up a farm," said he. "rhis man was a greenborn and he did not know much about the cyclones that some times visit our prairies. But he had some sort of wisdom
 He put a strange looking wooden fence about his place that looked like a chicken coop. It was built m a tri- IT.. angular shape. A farmer drove by when this greenhorn was putting up his fence and commented upon its ap- parent instability.
 "'Why. the first good wind that comes along he said. will blow your l fence over like tackstrawsS
 "Oh. all right" said the greenhorn who was also an optimist. My fence Us five feet broad at the bottom and l four feet high. If 1t blows over Il will be a foot higher than 1t is now l .aThat's what hope my political fence Is like" said Mir Bryan. with Q laugh.
 Another Bryan story was lifted bod fly by Congressman Lentz Tn ms sneech at New Haven on August 31 Mir. Lentz was busily holding th' crowd until MT. Bryan should appear from the meeting of the New England Democrats in the Tontine Hotel. across the street. so the use of the Bryan thunder was. perhaps. permissible.
 There was once a funeral out in Ne
 braska-so runs the yarn-and tho preacher who had been asked to deiVei tba eulogy was a stranger In town anc did not know the departed sister very | wei, So after he had said all that h' could he suggested that If anybody eis' l co,,Id aav n few words about the poo dead sister it would be good thing tt say them.
 Three CT four of those who hat known the deceased in her lifetime made appropriate remarks. Then ther' | was a pause. At last ohe oiu pioeNo
 rose and said:
 Well, if we're all through speaking about the departed sister. I will nov
 make a few brief remarks on the tar
 iff."
 MT. Bryan enters into the spirit O his stories with great gusto. gesticu
 iating with his hands and modulatlni lis voice to suit the periods. His eye are expressive: they light up before tn
 point of the story is reached and hi play actors mouth trembles into
 smile.
 When the point of the story come
 each word Is enunciated slowly an
 distinctly, with a lingering emphasi
 on each. as if the narrator was loat to come so soon to the end of his tale | After he had been interviewed fo
 the last time by the newspaper me
 who had followed him about on hi journeys out of New York, MT. Bryar
 remembering that he was once a re
 porter. and not forgetful of the djffcul ties that sometimes beset the path c
 the interviewer. told the newspaper