davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

rFrom the Philadelphia Record.l
Only the poor, it seems, can afford
to marry for love.
Even the coal dealer should start
the new year with a clean slate.
Opportunity only makes the man
who knows what to 90 with it.
The beauty about hiring an mex
perienced man is that you can teach
him something.
When our plans go up In smoke We
can console ourselves with the theory
of spontaneous combustion.
We are all attracted by our oppo-
sites, which is why a woman likes
man who is a good listener.
Blobbs-'Skinnum tells his creditors
he hasn't a cent to his name" Siobbs
TITS all in his wifes I suppose"
Wigg-'D'Auber's pictures all seem
to be overdrawn." Wagg-"I don't
know about his pictures. but I know
his bank account is"
SilIicus-''They say it takes three
generations to make gentleman"
Cynicus-"Yes; provided nature does
mt upset the plan by making a mon
KEY of him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Among other would-be politicians
who are apparently still in the pri-
mary grades is that Beloit young man
who says the Sixth district members of
the legislature will be solid for Cur
It's with two or three exceptions.
We notice that Christmas cigars are
always smoked. anyway.
Are your New Years resolutions
ready for business?
A boy doesn't care whether his
stocking is silk or cotton, just so it is
well filed on Christmas Eve.
n
BY the way. how many times this
week do you suppose you Will continue
to write it 1902"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
KANSAS COMAENT


A SQUARE DEAL FOR ALL.
The Topeka Capital says that Curtis
IS an enemy OF the railroads. What rot.
This is pandering to a sentiment that
IS unworthy a big paper. If this Is
true, Curtis ought not to be elected to
the senate Kansas does not want a
senator who Is an enemy to any legiti-
mate business What Kansas is trying
TO get now is a square deal. The peo-
PIE DO not want one industry to have
an advantage over another. They do
not want the corporate interests to get
the worst of it. They want all interests
treated alike. Whenever the average
man believes that he is getting precise
~ the same deal as his neighbor, he
VIII be satisfied Men strive for special
advantages because they know they
can get them. Kansas wants man
for senator who will be just as fair 10
the railroads as to the public.-Law-
renee Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
POINTED PARAGItApna-
rFrom the Chicago News. ]

IFTom the CHICAGO NeWs-I
The traveller who makes the most
trips is the triphammer.
It's safer to laugh with a big man
than to give him the laugh
Many a woman's disposition seems
to have been made for cross purposes.
It keeps the Lord busy snatching US
from dangers we are too blind to see.
At the age of 81 most men are too
young to realize that they don't know
1t all
A woman doesn't think much OF a
man If she refuses to quarrel with him
occasionally.
Men who boast of their virtues
would probably have more to say II
they enumerated their vices.
If a man walks up to a young Wild
ow and suddenly puts his arm around
her waist she'll say Don't" just as IL
she meant It.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

It IS gratifying to the people Of this
state to know that Kansas City, Kan
sas, has finally turned down the law
defying gang that has so long ruled
that town, and elected a mayor who
Union Both political gangs were beat
en- by the people who left their political
parties to elect DR.. Gray, an independ-
ent Republican, mayor.-Jewell Repub-
Hcan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
OR HARTMAN.

We Americans have always figured
it out that Mexico was a sort of power
ty stricken country, of mediocre states
manship and a deprecated money yet
they were smart enough and their
money was good enough to enable the
government to buy all the railroads of
that country. We have to let Rookie
Teller buy ours.-Concordia Kansan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
HUMOR OF THE DAY

Have you any books on automobnlng7''
Il haven't read this one, but X 9 ensltas99
Plain De0ler.
Noah Webster was compiling his dc
70 s.To a certain extent" he said, II have
to take the language as I find it -
ad rheTe the word wl'n dh to MS eoeo
ton. He foresaw that Il T g,ll,s1,,, ee 4"-
..what!'' snapped the complaint clerk II
b bot with with poor iightY''
''oh! no: not always" replied the quiet
:'Ah. as SUSPECTED. You only notice II
then at certain times, eh?
yes. only after dark. ''-Philadelphia
Press.
"..GGso,rTxs-"
You ought to try to save money.
what is the use? ! couldnt 90 tnaS
Journal.
.-Henpeck's wife's name is Marjorie. is
Yes; but he calls her Majority"
How absurd" ,.-,...
rules. Houston Post
II hope the Bible I gave you last week. >,
something"
replied the Cannibal Chief 4 find that
I'm really vezeta rian"
':ErNhoSw's thstsS
why you know, it says all flesh Is
grass?' ''-PhiladelDhia Press.
Mrs. Chugwater-Josiah. what is a
Mr.. Chugwater-It's a preacher that's IN
his prime. How many more times have
1 got to tell you the meaning of plain
simple English words!-Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Wocdby. II do detest tradespeopie
so. You may think it strange, but.
Not at ALL. replied Miss Wise. IT'S
very natural for people to hate their cred
itors. cleveland Leader.
9icks-"Saw Stockson Bonds. IN at the
roller skating rink Just now" Wicks-
That's just like Stockson. He never can
what do you meanG" Wicks-'iH Hes
operating for a fall. isn't he?'-Boston
Transcript.
St. Peter-Who are your New Arrival
I'm the proprietor OF a New York hotel
st. Peter (coldly)-Sorry. but you didn't
wire ahead for a room.-I4ife.
what makes you come home so aw-
the aii-night bank. dear. to have ten
With you. isn't that lovely ?''-Cieve-
land Plain Dealer.
I'm the chosen Of the brave athlete"
said the flannel shirt proudly
linen shirt. ''for I can always show sti1
front while you shrink at the first rub. -
Cleveland Leader
THE proof of the pudding lies in the
eating" Not for me. 1t lies In the num-
Der of soda-mint tablets have to take
american Spectator
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
TFrom the New York Press.I

FROM the New Ork Press.
Frequently q man is your friend
unless ne tells you he is.
There IS nothing that discourages a
widow so much as staying one
One of the meanest swindIes is to
marry for money and not get it,
Women would earn lots OF money II
they were working for anybody but
their husbans.
If women went on North Pole ex-
petitions probably they wouldn't ad-
NIT that their feet were cold
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

There is something wrong Honor
able Daniel Byron Dyer of Smith Cen
ter has not announced himself as a can
didate for office at the hands of the new
administration or the coming legisla-
ture. Is it possible that Daniel has
finally succeeded in putting Satan be-
mind him?-Osborne Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

of trusts are involved IS this law
nuIlihed.
There Is nothing unnatural In the
fact that partially skilled labor is try
ing to take the place Of real skilled
labor. inasmuch as there is not enough
of the latter commodity to go around
And it is hard to see how it can be
prohibited from doing so.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

This is an Osler administration. The
new chief Of the bureau of yards and
docks in the navy department has
been in the service only eight years.
and jumps eleven seniors-=Philadel-
mia Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Let's see. 1t wasn't so very long ago
that there was talk Of a Chinese boy
colt Of everything American. How
ever. II we send relief for the famine
sufferers perhaps that won't be boy
cotted
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Some of the politicians have the i'm
preston that the contest for United
states senator Is the whole thing in
Kansas just now. but there are towns
In which the question as to who will
be the wet and dry candidates for
unavor puts the senatorial fight away
In the shade
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Statesmen who wish to give salts
factory explanations to their constitu-
erts III how the tariff helps the average
Kansas man should first practice up
T. answering a small boys questions
Is to how santa Claus gets into the
houses. II he has ingenuity of mind
rumcient to satisfy the boy he may
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Mr.. Taft isn't 50 foolish as to say
that he won't run for the presidency
Il the presidency is placed before him
and he IS given clear track, but the
prospect OF a hot sprint is not espec-
tally aiiuriag to a man of Taft's avoir-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
ANOTHER MELON.

me estimate that $50, 600. 600 more
wages will be paid out in this coun-
try in 1907 than were paid this year
indicates that labor will cut some
thing of a melon, too.-Philadelphla
Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

II this thing keeps on very likely the
former wives of James G. Blaine, jr.,
Y III soon be numerous enough to hold
a reunion and get reduced rates on the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Curtis Jett has two life sentences
hanging over him already. but there is
ne hing TO prevent the Kentucky
courts from finding him guilty a few
s7arss times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

England Is said to be considerably
worried over which side il will take in
case there IS a war between the Unit
ed States and Japan. OF course Eng
land feels that no war could possibly
be pulled on without her taking sides
IN Il
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
LIKE UNCLE JOE.

A Connecticut baker has produced
the uncle Joe Cannon custard pie
little crusty as to outward appear
ance. perhaps, but all to the good so
far as the heart Of 1t is concerned
washington Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
HISTORY REPEATS ITSEIF.

Curtis announces that he needs but
two votes to elect him to the United
States senate. That il exactly the
number J. r. Burton needed at one
time and then failed to get there. Bur-
ton made it next time and you all know
the result.-Osborne. Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
ERON OTHER PENS
'ARKANsAs LEGIsLAToRs.

Arkansas mas begun sending state
legislators to Jail for bribery. and IL
all is true that is told. the next session
of the legislature will adjourn to the
penitentiary.-Ph Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

This Is about the time that most OF
the Christmas tim horns arc put out OF
business. owing to breaks, accidental
d otherwise
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

possibly hope to make the people be-
lieve the tariff On lumber and steel
and farm implements and other trust
handled goods is a splendid thing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
WHY. OH. WHY2

The United states court has cited
the county attorney and sheriff of
Clay county. Missouri, to appear and
show cause why Mrs. Aggie Myers Is
restrained of her liberty. Sure enough.
Why is that woman kept in Jail p
Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
GOING AND COMING

With the editorial department of the
Topeka Capital fighting Curtis and the
news department for him that paper
stands to win no matter how the sena-
torial contest goes.-Parsons Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

The Emporia Gazette has fought
the senatorial fight to a finish, and it
winds the contest up with all others
eliminated except Murdoch and Bris-
tow If the Gazette is right. what
hope IS there for the poor postofice
r-refters9
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

the mercantile reports indicate that
the retailers sold out their Christmas
stocks better than ever before. The
peol4e appear to have really bought
gar and often.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

me safe Of Kansas has only 272
miles or improved roads. and the total
roao mileage is 1o1. 1856 one of the
greatest needs of this great state is
more GOOD. roads.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
A VALUABLE ASSET.

The Kansas CITY Journal Is dead
agin' =" Stubs. Perhaps the most
valua BILE asset Mr.. Stubs possesses in
his campaign for the senatorship is
the general reputation Of the newspa-
pers which are fighting him hardest
Lawrence World
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Farmers are to organize an anti
trust association in Salina on January
Is. The meeting Is not. however, direct
ed against the trust extended by the
merchants to the farmers on occasion.
Hutchinson News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
SOCKS NOT LONG ENOUGH.

This report that Santa Claus is go
ing to drop a presidential message into
the stocking Of every congressman
must be accepted with considerable re-
serve, however.-Newark News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Wichita proposes a new plan of pro-
hihitioa. a plan that will allow it to
rave saloons Any plan will suit Wich-
la better than the present one
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Among other things to resolve to-
morrow IS to do your Christmas shop
ping early next year. starting in right
after the Fourth of July.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

A philadelphia man dropped dead
the other day while giving his wife a
present Some wives would drop dead
II thz-e husbands suggested giving
them nresents.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

The courts have decided that the
negress, Hannah Elias, may keep the
$685,00O that John r. Plat gave to
her. Members of the Platt family
seem to be unluckly lately.-Boston
Globe
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
GAMRLING AGAIN.

It is believed that Charles NJ.
Schwab is taking little interest in
the wheat market which, X true.
would seem to indicate that he Is feel
ing more like himself than at any
time since he visited Monte Carlo
Chicago Inter Ocean
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Some bills you have to pay every
month. some every week; but you
have to pay the editor only once a
year. That seems so easy that nobody
ought to neglect it-Jewen Repub-
ncan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Victor Murdoch certainly made a hit
in Washington. and it landed on the
postorice department
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Some morning Topeka may wake up
and ind that railroad built to Council
Grove in spite Of the skeptIcism Of a lot
Of psople.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

The school ma'ams have gone home.
but the politicians we have always
with US
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Tonorrow the railroad advertising is
scheduled to disappear from the news
papers. except what the railroads pay
ca for
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
HOW- DID IT HAPPEN?

san FRANCISCO has a lot Of money
left out of the funds that we're sub
scribed for the relief of the earth
quake sufferers. Some of the grafters
must have been suspicious of one an
other.-Chicago Record-Herald-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
ANOTHER MIsTAKE.

Girls are altogether wrong when
they think that II the stenographer is
only pretty enough. 1t doesn't make
any difference how she spells.-Somer-
VILE Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

This Is the day that the politician
bids his faithful railroad pass a tear
ful and reluctant farewell
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

Get ready for the next big event. the
zzadwinter fair.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
PIT on THE sKATEs.

of his issuing another yachting chal-
lenge, how would Sir Thomas like to
take on the American nation for a bit
Of a 20 at roller skating Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

BY the way. have you traded off all
your duplicate Christmas presents YETI
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

'-axas by no means heads the list OF
canning states. but II IS thinking ser
iously Of canning Pailev.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

The big touring car had just whizzed
bv with a roar like 4 gigantic rocket.
and Pat and Mike turned to watch it
disappear in a cloud of dust
ssThim chug wagons must cost a
hape av cash. said Mike. THE rich
Is fairly burnin' money"
sAns be the smell AK It.. shifted Pat,
ut must be thot tainted money we do
be hearin' so much ABBOTT Success
Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Among the Christmas presents for
which there was a very light demand
this year was the railroad pass case.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

James Tompkins was in an awkward
fix. He the head of the firm of
orative artists" But yet he was not sat
isfied for the balance standing to the
credit of the firm was precisely three
halfpence. This was the more Irritating
because a work of art commissioned by
Mr.. Jones. the plumber, required a coat
ing of varnish to finish it, and the person
who supplied the artist with this COM
modify objected to make three ha' p orths.
1t was an annoying situation, but like
other business men, James is not devoid
of resource
Tommy" he said to his son.. take. this
can and go and get quart of varnishs''
Where's the money. dad?" queried his
painfully practical offspring.
accents of lofty surprise. ''Telf 'em it's
for me; they won't arsk you for no
money"
Expressing a decided but muttered
doubt to the magic effect of his faith
er's name. Tommy departed, 20 return in
a few minutes with disgust on every line
Il knew 'ow it 'ud be-" he said. Il told
i'm it was for you. but WREN e found I
'adn't got no money. o'course e emptied
1t back again"
kins, philosophically. t'there'l be enough
left round the sides of the can to do
what I TILT Bits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
What Is KlcptomanIa?

Kleptomania is occasionally induced
by continued and close application to
the study of a particular subject. A
singular case was recently reported
from Germany.
A well known professor was found to
have transferred to his own private
collection many of the valuable butter
flies of which he had charge in his Off
eiaI capacity.
ne existence OF mental arrangement
was clear from the facts that came
out in the course Of the investigation
afterward made by the museum au-
thorities.
It was found that the professor had
often sent his wife out all day to catch
butterflies, so intense was his passion
for these Insects. On one occasion the
professor while hunting butterfly
was nearly run over by an express
train at another time he fell into
river. and once both he and his wife
fell into a pcad.-Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
Tnc Cat and the Chickens.

The old housekeeper met the master
at the tioor on his arrival home IF
YOU please. SIR. said she, the cat has
had Chickens.
ssIonsense, Mary he laughed, You
mean kittens. Cats don't have chick
twas them chickens or kittens that
you brought home last night. sir p
asked the old woman
ssVhy. they were chickens"
gust So replied Mary, with a
twinkle. "Wen, the cats 'ad EN-
Liverpool Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31
AN actress IToT1e-conine.

The return of an actress to her dwell
ing place late at night or early In the
curious neighbors. Clara Morris, writ
ing in The American Magazine for De-
by Augustin Daly-a banquet where, by
the way, Miss Morris made her first
went home together in a cab. Here is
the story of what then happened:
The cab stopped, leaned forward
always waited up; always kept a bright
light till my return; therefore, the neigh
toe that it was $50 in the morning. 1
q What's the matter. Clara? Am I
Look across the street at the upper
sash si was being softly raised. We DIM ae
y saw a White figure ana on its head s' an
3 f,ed niEht t ruffied ana firmly
. She's ffty-two.' I breathed She has
day Of that daugSters 'f first caIl upon me
this ancient has nightly, secretly assisted
at my homecoming. And as 1 spoke
oh, my character! 1 moaned. My poor.
Mrs. Gilbert folded her hands at her
waist-line, and swayed back and forth
in helpless laughter Look next door,
"a light appeared and a hand was seen
holding the curtain cautiously. while its
owner peePed. 7 know you are tired l.
I get out alone, I shall be counted with
the lost by this whole street. throw
myself upon your generosity-save mel
Choking back her amusement she
commanded me to get first; did
So She raised her hand. and paused
This whole block Is tense with excite
ment, she whispered. Something will
snap in q moment and on the very
word a shade broke loose and flew up
ceiling high, betraying two scantily clad
flyin9 figures. and while she fell to
laughing again my reputation hung sus-
pended, like Ma hornets coffin. between
heaven and-well. let us say earth.
AT last she stepped out. Help me-
she whispered so they may know me to
be old and probably respectable.
Mother opened the door. and Mrs.
Gilbert. speaking. very high and clear,
said: I've brought her back to you safe
and sound. but very tired No, thank
you, I won't come in (Another window
softly rose.) Not at this shocking hour
I'm too old to be kept up so late as this.
Good-byei' She turned to the driver.
'Homer she cried loudly. and. muttering
low drive straight up the avenue got
into the cab and as 1t moved away 1
saw her sWaying back and forth. and
knew she was having her laugh out
Thanks to her help, I held my head
high as I entered my own home. wrapped
in my still unspotted reputation. Win
dows closed-nghts went out-the street.
wearied with long watching for the re-
turn of it's one actress, retired"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Really, you know said the snobblsh
so. You may think it strange, but
Not at ALL" replied Miss Wise 1t s
very natural for people to hate their cred
itors. "-Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Have you any books on automobilingl
T haven't read this one, but II g entitled
People l Have Run Across. Cleveland
PLAIN De1ler.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

Hicks-"saw Stockton Bonds IN at the
roller skating rink Just now" Wfcks--
That's just like Stockson. He never can
get his mind entirely OF business" Hicks
what do you mean2'' Wicks--.' He 3
operating for a fall, isn't he2'-Boston
Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

George
''Well?'
You ought to try to save money"
what is the use? / couldn't do that
when / was single. louisville Courier
Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-31

St. Peter-who are you? New Arrival
I'm the proprietor of a New York hotel
st. Peter (coldly)-Sorry. but you didn' t
wire ahead for room.-Iife.