davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
LIFE IN WAsMlnerou.
4 c.sersssasa's g1ssts - esso eess
81 Ne esAosy.

~ LDoDroooAoAo 80oSSo - 49, ~
81 Nc esAssy-
To the average ksnsan Is 600 .
year looks like easy afiiuenee- The
fortunate person with an income OF
that dimension is popularity suPPos-
ed to live Ut the intersection OF Vel
vet avenue And Easy street A con-
gresham is esteemed q fortunate
individual indeed, since he has .
certain income of e5 900 q year and
Q position to which are attached va
rious perquisites not allotted to
those in the humber walks Of life.
In this connection, therefore, the
experience Of . certain Kansas con-
gresham Who thought to rave mon
sy from his salary is interesting.
when l vas elected" said the
congressman in question, Il expect
ed to save half my salary. 1t vas
INV plan to put away $500 q year.
| had = small family, We had modest
tsstes and l had never had . great
deal OF money to spend We had
always lived economicslly-we had
TO. We went to Washington, my
wife and l. We stopped the first day
ct an ordinary hotel. The fare Was
NO better than we had at home, the
furniture and carpets not particular
ly better than those in our own
house. The convenienees could have
been duplicated in the hotels OF my
home town. When ! came TO settle
NV bill l found l was paving for the
accommodation at the rate of ~ q
day.
II have since tried all Of the
methods OF living in Washington
which had an economical turn OF
mind suggested-boarding, furnish
ed and unfurnished apartments and
detached houses. find the result
the same. Washington gets all my
money. We do not attempt to
splurge. We live as quietly and mod
estly as the average family in a
small town. In going my errands
10 the departments ! ride on the
street cars. Our method Of living is
predicated on the street car basis.
But / can't beat the Washington
game. spend all my salary on liv-
ing expenses, and we are no better
of financially than we were before !
was elected to congress"
So far rs financial returns are
concerned, being in congress is no
better than being head bookkeeper
At the store or foreman at the shop.
A salary of $1,000 in u small town
buys ordinarily as much comfort
and recreation as a salary Of $1,000
in a city. 1t isn't what YOU get that
matters. 1t is where you have to
spend it.-Topeka Capital.
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
A Orsss Response.

The politician was addressing his
constituents in a frenzied speech.
Several of his assertions were, re-
duced to cold thought. Numerically
opposed TO one another, but each
eloquent proposition was received
with wild response. Judge Dolan,
one os the auditors, turned to his
neighbor and said:
This reminds me of the Irish
leader who was cheering his men on
to battle.
Min, he says, we are on the
verge Of battle, an want to ask
We before We start, viii yez fight or
will yez rum!
"'We WILL says they.
(Which will We do!' says he.
ave will not, saws they.
"'Aha, Thank We, me min" says
he. i thought We would
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
laaNina q kAMxsr.

There il a lawyer Of Baltimore
who tells u story Of how he secured
verdict in favor OF an lrishInan
charged with assault with intent TO
kill. The lawyer secured his eli
ent's acquittal on the ground Of
temporary insanity. Counsel and
client did not meet for several
months after the release of the NC
cused When they did meet the fol-
lowing conversation ensued:
"Well, Mike, isn't it about time
you handed me that $jOO"
What t5OO:"
why, the fee of $500 that you
promised me l should have If l
saved you from the penitentiary.'
"shure an did promise ye that
! don't raymimber.'
Don't remember. Why, you were
go grateful that YOU promised me
over and over again that l should
have il within a week"
Nike gave sickly smile. "Shure
think the claim is not good
wan," said he. "Ye know. l was
crazy thin "'-Harpers Weekly.
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
MS FIRST LAW PARTNER
A. AIIiaaes Whish esse lisesia All
- assosasibiiity.

~ AIIis.es shish esss li.esia All
- assesasib'isty.
Major Stuart, with whom Lincoln
had joined forces, vss moi in his
early years Q we'll read or even an
Industrious LAWYER, but he MAS pop
Ilsr and had an extensive if not
very lucrative practice, which he
vss entirely willing TO intrust to his
1ew associate. Indeed, Shen the
frn vas forned he Was SO deeply
engrossed in politics that he gave
little OF no attention to the lav, and
Lincoln had to assume virtually all
responsibility for the business
OF course if the procedure had
been complicated or technical . nov-
ice would have speedily come to
grief, bat the character Of litigstion
vas very simple in those days, the
precedents we're fev and far between
and the legal forms exceedingly elss-
tic. Lincoln met such difhculties -
there were in his own vsy, asking -
little advice Is possible and eIer-
cising his ingenuity to bridge the
gaps in his information when his
partner MAS not available for con-
sultation. The habit Of standing on
his own feet and doing his own
thinking, which was thus forced
upon him at the very outset Of his
practice, became his most notable
trait. One Of his contemporaries
closely in touch with his profession
al life testifies that he never asked
another lawyers advice on any sub
ject whatsoever. lie listened to his
associates and consulted with them,
but he worked out his own problems,
and there was never ANYTHING of the
'brain Taper about his relations
with the bar.
The influence Of this early train
ing is plainly diseernible in the re-
markable self reliance and resource
fulness which he exhibited in his
later wears. New questions did not
confuse him. lie faced emergencies
with perfect serenity, and he had
long been accustomed to responsible
ity when he was called upon To de-
eide questions of national import
Frederick Trevor Hill in Century.
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
TMl SALLY.
o0sea cisss' a1ssssaOss - ~ lieese
childroa 81 tiss ooSAh.

chiiArsa ~ sA,s ossah
For some time before Christmas
little children in the south await the
advent of Tall Sally" with eager
ness second only 10 that of Santa
Claus himself, for Tall Sally" is
Santa Claus messenger, and what
ever gifts little boys and girls wish
they have only to write and give 10
Tall Sally" and il Santa Claus can
bring them he surely will.
She is ss much = tradition Of the
season rs the old saint himself, and
YOU could no more shake q south
erner's belief in her than you could
in Santa Claus. She gets her name
from the fact that she is superhu-
manly tall-to high, in fact, that
sometimes she cannot get into the
house, but stays out on the grounds,
where she does not need TO bend her
head except TO hear the questions
Of her little friends. No one ever
hears 'rall Sally" speak, for the
children have it that her voice is 10
homely that, though YOU know how
kind she is, il would frighten you
10 hear her, and she always wears
sunbonnet and thick veil that you
NAV not see how plain she is.
There is never previous an
nouncement of her arrival-thst is,
not often, though sometimes =
mother will tell her little ones that
"Tall Sally" is coming that after
noon. and all the children Of the
neighborhood gather to see her, 70
she holds reception. They all
thrust quantity and sometimes pain
fully written notes at her, contain
ing list OF their Christmas wishes,
and TO their questions she either
shakes her head or mods il. Tall
Sally is likely to appear any day
after Thanksgiving, and she is Of
course grown friend Of the chill
dren. With the aid Of poles she
rigs up an extension for height and
puts on a false face The job is not
always an easy one. for great care
must be taken that sharp young
eyes do not detect the disguise, but
there is always some one who will
do it.-New York Telegram.
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
Lincoln.

Sir Wemyss Reid wrote Of Abrs-
ham Lincoln: "One must not blame
Englishmen too severely for their
lack of appreciation of Lincoln. 1t
doubtful if even now he is appre-
eiated at his true worth by Ameri-
cans themselves. Some years ago l
had the pleasure of taking in to din
ner a charming lady who was Lin
coins direct descendant. said to
her: you can hardly understand
how pleased 1 am to have met you.
There 10 scarcely any man whose
name is familiar to me whom ! hon
or - I honor the memory Of your
grandfather The young lady open
ed her eyes in innocent amasement
and confessed subsequently that abe
had been very much surprised at
nv little speech. AT home they
never say anything about grand
papa.'"
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
Place Fer vsIusbies.

They were on their honeymoon.
The big bridegroom Was so proud OF
his little wife that he could not re-
sist the temptation to take the hotel
clerk into his confidence.
Say" he whispered, leaning over
the desk, "my wife is q jewel"
'In that case, sir" chuckled the
hotel clerk, II really cannot allow
her to go up to the bridal suit"
The bridegroom gasped in aston
ishment.
"What! Can't let her go up into
the bridal suit! Why not! 7"
Because I will have to put her
in the safe. That is the place for
jewels. Chicago News.
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
A chsies 81 Gxila

A young Scotchman fresh from
his native land had hired out" to
awestern Q farmer as harvest hand.
He was strong, industrious and full
Of enthusiasm. but the mosquitoes
we're a revelation to him. In all his
experience he had ssever encounter
cd anything so fierce, bloodthirsty
and persistent, and they made his
life miserable.
"They won't bother you, Sandy"
. said one of his fellow laborers, ''if
you smoke . pipe when they're
round YOU"
Sandy had never "smokit," but he
procured pipe and some tobacco
and proceeded TO follow the advice.
For . few moments he smoked
with much zeal and earnestness.
Then he became very pale. He laid
the pipe down and placed the tobac-
co BY its side.
"'Tis varra guide tae keep the
mosquitoes away, nae doot," he said,
with a long. quivering breath, but
I prefair the mosquitOes'"
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
4 M1,ou OF ssocs.
NAsa - sAsa - G.eiisA Ss~;ss- Co.
Nc cssaasy.

No Cessssy-
IL is difficult TO talk much aboat
being q gentleman and behaving
Ike = gentleman. SAYS an English
writer, without hetraying an Inward
and invisible ssnt Of breeding The
-grsce which is the true vord for
Sist We mean by gentlemanly quail
itIes should never b< dweit upon, al
though its absence should be d.
nouneed- That grace of soul, OF
feeling, Of habit, Of manner and a
conduct which should attract no at
teni,on, no surPrise, NO euloGy. =
born in . person and can never -
acquired, although . stratum Of
good manner, which is all that the
majority mean BY ''sentlemsnly, u
often the result Of education. -Yeu
have the grace of God, said
Launeelot Gobbo when he meant to
convey that Bassanio vas q gentle
man, and l wish that more Of "
we're Gobbs in the art Of eIpres-
sion.
This word gentleman" is very
English in liz application The
French have no equivalent, although
they are . nation Of gallant men. .
nation of cavaliers. The Spanish
have no equivalent, although they
are a nation OF grsndees. A proud
er people does not exist, Yet the dis
tinctions between class and class in
Spain are much less accumulated
than in England. Through Spain
We arrive at the paradox that the
most aristoeratic country in Europe
is also the most democratic. One
cannot Imagine Spaniard asking
another ''to behave like a gentle
man." for there Is only one stand
ard of behavior in Spain. The ON
nibus conductor. exchanging Gig
arettes with the grandee, will ex-
hibi, as much mastery of the charm
ing eourtesies Of life as his "supe-
rior." as We should call the grandee
in England.
cannot regret the misuse Of the
word gentleman, because its use
seems 10 me except on occasions OF
ceremony utterly snobbish and
meaningless. What a pity il is that
We have no word like monsieur!
You can address any one by that IL
tie in Paris. from a cocher to .
duke, and you are right. The French
gentleman, stepping into hacre,
will address the cocher ss mon
sieur" NJ readily As the cocher will
90 address him. In England we use
"gentlemen" officially. without i'm
plying any foolish class distinction.
but we have no word for the inter-
change of courtesy. Our sir i'm
plies superiority, the last thing
which monsieur" does. We are y
nation Of snob~, and it is being
brought home 10 us by the word
gentleman" being arrogated BY
precisely the class to which We
would deny it.
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
a Neemy hsl

A professor Of music had publish
I'd . successful composition, and the
revenues and honors were sufficient
to warrant him in wearing . high
silk hat. The elder members Of the
professor's family considered the
sew adornment with becoming
pride, while the younger ones view
ed it with awe.
The professor one evening was en-
tertaining a number Of guests with
Q narrowing tale. My nerves were
unstrung," he narrated. ut was
midnight when l reached the bank
building, and just as l had passed
the entrance q black object glided
s6ftly across my path and made ev-
cry one of my hairs stand on end"
Little George contemplated his
Qther's long locks for q few Sec
onds and then interrupted the cur
ding experience.
"Say, papa" he declared limo
Gently, "you must have had on your
high hat that night"
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
Ne Used the Word.

a prospective Boston bridegroom,
who meant TO be master in his own
house, called ON the Unitarian cler-
gyman who was to tie the knot the
following day. Il have heard" he
said, that you omit the word
obey from the marriage service.
Will you kindly insert it tornor-
row." The minister obligingly
promised to do so. wilt thou, Lu
CIV, promise to love. honor and
obey" uas promptly answered by
the bride without demur. The same
question was put to the groom. who
hesitated, stammered and gulped,
but answered as had his bride, 81
WILL probably not wishing to ere
ate scene. Later he reproached
the minister. But you asked me
to use the word obey" said the
clergyman, with a twinkle in his
eyes. "How was to know that you
wanted it for the lady only You
should have been more explicit
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
SURVIVAL Of the FlrrEsr.
esss o.. WsAses Gen. - Ts~~vi.ss
Me Yhoory.


Or. Alfred Russell Wallace in his
autobiography tells how during his
leng so}ourn IN Borneo and the Ma
by peninsula he formulated inde-
pendently Of hr~in his theory Of
evolution: Il Vas suffering from .
sAarp attack of intermittent fever
and every day during the cold and
hot fits had TO lie down for several
Aours, during which time l bad
nothing TO do but to think over any
subjects then particularly interest
ing me. One day something brought
- INV recollection Nalthus' 'Princi-
pies Of Population which l had
read about twelve year. before. I
thought of his clear exposition ef
The positive checks TO Increase
disease, accidents, var and famine
which keep down the population Of
savage races to 50 much lower an
average than that Of more civilized
peoples.
''lt then occurred to me that
e&A~D< NouF1s VI tAciI etuisaicuts o1v
continually acting in the case Of ami
mails also, and, rs animals usually
breed much more rapidly than does
mankind, the destruction every year
from these causes must be enor-
NOUS, as otherwise the world would
long ago have been densely crowded
With those that breed most quickly.
Vaguely thinking over the enormous
and constant destruction which this
implied, it occurred to me to ask
the question, Why do some die and
come live:
"And the answer was clearly that
on the whole the best fitted live.
Then it suddenly flashed upon me
that the self acting process would
necessarily improve the race, be-
cause in every generation the in
ferior would inevitably be killed of
and the superior would remain
that is, the fittest would survive"
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
0hs WOoNosW MaN.

Here is some ones conception Of
the western man: "He rolled the
prairie up like cloth, drank Missis-
sippi dry, put Allegheny in his hat,
. steamboat in his eye and for his
breakfast buffaloes some twenty-one
did fry. He whipped the whole Co
manche tribe one day before he
dined, and for Q walking cane he
took California pine, and when he
frowned be Vas 90 black the sun it
couldn't chine. He whipped . ton
Of grizzly bears one morning with .
fan and proved himself by all these
feats to ke-a western man"
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
some ENGLISH RULERS.
~ essA 80 ~ osd st Nsysi Teak -
oehsr osys-

oehsr osys
Charles l. is generally accepted
- q gentleman as veil Is = martyr
leesuse he xas most fortunate in
the artists commissioned to executs
his portraits. In real life he vas
BY no means the mild and polished
individual he looked on canvas His
queen, Henrietta Msris, gave it -
on< reason for her wish that her
soma ,hOald be taught courtesy that
her husband vas 70 harsh hammered
that he had made many enemies
through it.
The only Stusrts who shone BY
civil speech and WAYS were thsss
who had been xsll drilled in France
Mary, queen Of Scots, for one and
Charles ii. for another. james ].
Of England vss an awkward cres-
ture, undigniked, familiar, soms-
times grotesque- The real Charles
/. lacked graciousness q. we'll o.
''gumption" snd vAs little beloved
outside his own family circle. james
ii. ~ss never popular, and rs for
hi. daughters, Quesns Mary III. and
Anne, they wer. heavy women With
but little of the reputed Stuart ele-
ganee about them.
The boorishness Of the first and
second Georges, supposed by Jsco-
bites Of the nineteenth and twenti-
eth centuries TO AFFORD such con-
trast TO the perfect manners of the
Jaineses and Chsrleses, simply fit
ted the times these Hanoyerian
princes lived in, for at most of the
courts of Europe lack of good
taste was then general, and royal
ties were much rs other people in
spite of their fine clothes.
As kings the old and young pre-
tenders might have cut no better
figure than these Georges. Bonnie
Prince Charlie did not wear we'll, Is
he became a heavy drinker early in
life and finished as a downright sot,
with whom his wife could not live.
Somehow the Stuart dynasty never
rooted strongly in England. In the
person OF Queen Mary's son James
it WAS accepted Is a necessary evil
in 1903, and in 1865 il was expelled
in the person of James ii.
The interval had been distin-
guished by = revolution, the execu-
ton Of Charles l., the protectorate
of Oliver Cromwell, the restoration
of Charles III. and an unsuccessful
rebellion in favor of James lis IL
legitimate son. the Duke of Mon
mouth. The two daughters Of James
H., Queens Mary ii. and Anne,
though Of the Stuart line, have al
ways been considered usurpers by
true Jacobites.
James |. came to England in 1908
as q stranger who had never before
been in the country and whose claim
to the sovereignty a. Queen Eliza
beth's successor was founded on his
descent from Henry VII, first Of
the Tudor line, his mother, Mary,
queen OF Scots, having been Hen
rvs great-granddsughter. George !.
came to England in l7l+ as James
Is great-grandson and the success
sor in accordance with the act Of
settlement Of 1901 Of Queen Anne,
his kinswoman. lie had previously
visited England in the reign Of
Charles II.--London Modern Soci-
ETY..
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
eeash;an TuesssA

"A curious mode Of catching tus-
ties is practiced in the West Indies.
Il consists in attaching . ring and
. line to the tail Of . species of
sucker fieh, which is then thrown
overheard and Immediately makes
for the fsst turtle he can spy, to
which he attaches himself very frn-
" by means Of . sucking apPasst1s
sss.need a tAe top q hh hssA
The fisherman then kauls botA tu-
lie and sseking II -
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
essihse's oease.

Teacher-Now, boys, why do ve
say grace before and after meals /!
No reply.
Teacher-Come, come surely one
Of you can answer me. Tell NE
what grace is.
Still no answer.
Teacher-This is really terrible!
Nov. jenkins, tell me what your "a
ther does after = meal.
Johnny-Please, miss, he rubs his
waistcoat.
Teacher That is not what !
meant. / want to know what he
says.
Johnny-Please, miss, he says:
~Ha, ha, Richard is hisself again.
London Standard.
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
Res Tsss6 Eye.

Take . cup beimful Of water. Add
suMcieat salt to Be just perceptihas
to the taste. Hold your EYES to the
water 20 that your lashes touch Il,
then wink once, and the eyes will -
suffused. Do not wipe them This
- refre.hes the eyes that they feed
like . new pair. Do mot forget the
eood old rule. Az soon o. yoa ~fsel
your eyes" stop using tAen- y
foIIowing this tfestDent very itt1s
:ine vii - vested vaiting fer tiss1
80
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
Tolo - Q ooDL

A GENTLEMAN once possessed . val
liable sporting dog, which vas a.
tremely clever in the retrieving Of
game. The owner, however, vss .
remarkably bod shot, and one day
a firing both barrels hastily at .
rabbit he heard Q mournful howl.
The De1t moment hin dog sPPeased,
earning . black sAjset IN his Deuth
and laid il easef.lly ct As na.t1ls
Seet- Ths animal I'D fetsisve1 ~
Oun tail
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
Il Wen Well,

A handwriting expert said OF .
manuscript error to reporter:
"Such an error is ludicrous. A man
Of intelligence could never have
made it. 1t reminds me of an error
that occurred at a church meeting
in my native town. They were DIR
cussing at this meeting the bert
time for the conservation Of q new
plot that had been added TO the
church cemetery. There was a long
argument. Some wanted the add
tion consecrated at once; Others
thought it would be best to wait
till the next year. Finally an old
man rose and said firmly:
81 shall vote for immediate con-
secration. I have had my back yard
done with it, and il wears grand
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
The oiassrsse FissAsey.

A New England hostess quite re-
Gently entertained the wife Of .
japanese statesman who had been
spending q few days on the Atlantic
coast. She gave out Of considera-
ton for the guest Of honor "a jap
anese tea" "a case of carrying
Goals to Newcastle" which included
ie own fitting reward When it
came time to say au revoir the little
lady of the Flovery Kingdom was
very polite and quite unconsciously
crushing.
II am delighted" she declared, /,
Eat the similarity Of japanese and
American ways Of entertaining"
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
t|e Nsvse Tesd Q lie.

Tommy said . father to his
son, have you been at those six sP-
Piles 1 put in the cupboard ?"
Father" said Tommy, looking
into his eyes, Il have not touched
one"
Then how is it your mother
found five apple cores in your bed
room, and there is only one left On
the plate
That" said Tommy - he dashed
wildly for the door, 'is the one l
didn't touch"
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
ssis cs.v csuaS assA.

"A Kansas lawyer tells Of q visit
- had from IN Old farmer. The
farmer wanted . big suit for dam
Eggs brought against . railroad COM
pdhy because his old beindle COW
had been run over during the
night. On Questioning him the law
yer couldn't find . single peg upon
vich he could legitimately hang .
al.
well" he said, Il kinder thought
- could fetch il - the sign bein'
aevn. Thy vsn't - siGn Look
Out For tie Cass, - I thessht
nesse - essM sit - - 49,
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
Whse Ne Said.

"You saw those walnuts
Il never saw q walnut
"You must be blind. There were
thousands Of them"
very likely, but l never saw
one"
"why, look; l can see them from
here"
$50 can ]"
"Just now you said you couldn't
zee one"
Excuse me, said nothing Of the
kind. What I said was that never
saw one. And / never do; I always
use nutcrnckers."
La Junta tribune., 1906-02-17
a Psssr.

~when l "a. your age" says the
man to his little son, Il was the
beat behaved boy in town. Ny par
ents would not allow me to play N
the street, they made me keep ny
fsce washed and my hair conbseI
they compelled me to be well nan-
nered at al times and ! was sent 70
bed early every night and awakened
esrly the next morning. Ny parents
trained me to be Q model, obedSe1t,
polite boy. Why can't you be like !
m. at your aees7
But, papa answers the Id,
SHAT vould BE- the use? II 3o0ot
.eem to hsve done any good d ys0
csee."-Chicago Tribuse-