Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-03-25

Ladies and gentlemen. let us look around.
'Tis busy day in the House of Represen-
tatives. The big tent is well filed stunts
are being performed on the flying rings
the parallel bars are in use; several en-
thusiastic members are vaulting the wooden
horse.
The legislative bill is under considera-
ton, ladies and gentlemen, and the per-
Torrance is of interest. The tawny gentle
man pleasantly engaged in picking points
of order out of his hair is the able chair
man of the appropriations committee. The
large pink and white person to the chair
mans left Is the Hon. Lucius n. Iittauer
of New York
But let us leave this group OF celebrities
and turn our gaze slightly to the left Note
the elderly parsonage with the belIigerent
air. View the Honorable Pete Hepburn of
Iowa.
Draw near, ladies and gentlemen, that 1
may convey my thoughts by whisper
'Twould not be pleasant to have our visit
interrupted and l note with apprehension
that the Honorable Pete has large glass
inkwel ready to his hand. IT'S so easy to
modulate the voice and SO undignified to
dodge.
The Honorable Pete Is not, as you imag-
Inc, a retired priZeHghter. You do him a
gross injustice. The Honorable Pete would
bitterly resent the accusation. He would
tell you himself that it was not true He
has not retired. He would probably i'm
press the fact upon you in case of a person.
al interview, You would probably remem-
Der 1t long after your eye got we'll It
would probably stick IN your recollection
long after the swelling on your head was
reduced.
Ladies and gentlemen. this IS not idle
chatter. This is not hot air. l speak from
the vast book of my experience For once
"heh l was young and enthusiastic, l inter
viewed the Honorable Pete.
fe.e' cried In my happy, innocent
way, why are you SO popular in your dis
trict?"
Because" growled the Honorable Pete,
as his fingers closed around a pretty iron
paperweight Il don't answer the ouestions
OF every - fool that asks them"
Pete l gurgled merrily, as I backed
toward the doorway, do you really favor
an isthrnian canal or are you only playing?
You're such a
Tender hands cared for me- ladies and
gentlemen, and after a little while 1 was
around again. IT'S a great thing to have
a rugged constitution. But now when I
have to interview the Honorable Pete | use
the telephone or stick my head In his com
mfttee room door when the road to the
stairs is clear.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Honorable Pete
is a many-sided man. For years he cherish
country. They were the backbone and
mainstay of the nation. declared the Hon
orabIe Pete and many of those eminent
in the legislative affairs agreed with him.
But the Honorable Pete went them one
better He had all things railroady He
won't to walk the track at midday that
he might admire the cinder-scarred ties
and the CLEAN of the shiny steel rails. The
sight OF annual pass-with somebody elses
name on twas enough to bring tears to
his eyes and once when overcome by his
emotion he wept on the brass rail of
Pullman sleeper a party OF homeward-
bound congressional tourists rolled into the
Washington station.
But then, ladies and gentlemen, there
came a change. Mutterings of discomfort
sounded throughout the land. The people
rose UP and demanded things. Out In the
eighth Iowa district a figure bearing some
general resemblance to the outward SEEM
ing of the Honorable Pete was annointed
with Rockefeller special and bathed in
fame.
When the Honorable Pete heard of It,
ladies and gentlemen, he retired to his COM
mittee room. ITO brood over the pity and
the injustice of II ALL suggested his col
leagues. And sympathizing with the Hon
orable Pete. ! pulled open his committee