Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1906-05-12

pointF "A little thing that asks
questions. The Schoolmaster.
Bobbie-What are his political con.
victions? Jobbie-Oh, he's liable to
be convicted at any time.-Town Top
les.
Knicker-What became Of Chauf-
feurl Boeker-He absent-mindedly
crawied under mule to see why it
didn't go.-New York Sun.
Judge-Six months. Cos Cob Con-
All, wot relief Now / kin stop
worrying about where I'm going ter
spend de summer.-Puck
But why do you live in the city II
you don't like It'll" 81 have to live
here to make money enough to keep
up my country place Elk.
Knicker-So your wife went to the
country to study natures book? Book
er-Yes, and from the size of her ho-
tel bill 1t must be among the six best
sellers.-Ex.
Mrs. knicker-How long will you
be away this summer7 Mrs. Booker
i don't know. l shall stay $1,000
at the seaside and $500 at the noun
tains.-New York Sun.
Doctor Ito pressing creditor)-If you
must bring your bill every day. at
least you might come with your head
tied up, so that people would think
you were a patientl-London Tit Bits.
A young theologian named Fiddle
Refused to accept his degree;
For said he, tits enough to. b~ Fid-
die,
Without being Fiddle d. d.
Puck.
benham-I have had my life in
sured for five thousand dollars in your
favor. Mrs. Benham-well, III be
glad to have the money, but l think
you've overestimated your value
Smart Set.
Say" asked the first messenger
boy, got any novels to swap?" Il
got 'Snake-foot Dams Revenge re-
piled the other. 'Is 1t long story ?"
Nav! Ye kin finish 1t easy in two
messages. philadelphia Press.
What Is your order, STRIP asked
the waiter. Bring me some frenzled
eggs said the man with the napkin
tucked under his chin. Aud presently
there was distinctly audible scram-
Die In the kitchen.-Chlcago Tribune.
At the Hula New Yorker was
visiting in Boston. Seeing parrot in
a cage, he asked: Does Polly want
crackers" Il require no sustenance
from you whatever" replied the Back
Bay bird, with MISUNDERSTANDING
That Mrs. Snaggs is too much of
a aristycraft fur me to mlngle wild"
"How's that?" "She was Knocked
down by a pushcart and she had IL
put into the paper dat she was hit by
an automobile. detroit Free Press.
Boss" began the beggar, won't
yer help poor" See herer in
terrupted Goodheart Fl gave you
some money last week" well, gee
whizl amt yer earned any more
since -Philadelphla Public Ledger
Mother-willie, you must stop ask
Ing your father questions Don't you
see they annoy him? Willie-No'm
It amt my questions that annoy him
It's the answers he can't give thai
make him mad.-Philadelph Ledger
See here" cried the bill collector
this bill I've been bringing here 81
often is getting worn out, and so /.
my patlcncer' Gee whiz, man." re
piled the debtor, 80 is your welcome
If you only knew tr'-Philadelphis
Press.
Miss Peechle-I want a hammock
that will not break down. Polite clerl
Can't guarantee any of 'em, miss
Miss Peechie-why, that's strange
Polite Clerk-Not at all. We'd do it /
you were homely girl, but
Cleveland Leader.
Il think" he said, that l am nov
Just about even with the world.
Even with the world?' Even will
the world?' Yes. l figure that
have now reached a point where | ow
just about as many people as don
owe. "--Brooklyn Eagle.
Tramp-It is needless to ask yoi
the question, madame. You know
what l want. Lady-Yes, | know
what you want badly, but I've onl.
one bar of soap in the house, and tn
servant is using it. Come again som
other time.-Glasgow Times.
He-As soon as we are married
. dearest, l will take out an endowment
insurance policy, so that you may b
protected. she-Don't you think you
better take out an accident insuranc
policy now, George? You haven't sp'
ken to father yet, you know.-Phils
delphia Press.
You claim that the railways dil
d eliminate against your Yes al
swered Farmer Corntossel. Three q
: my nelghbors have got damages fc
cows that were killed. I've let m
cattle stray all over the track and til
pesky engineer refuses to hit any on
Z OF 'em. "-washington Star.
A little boy once told his friend, al
( other youngster, that his mother wa
accustomed 10 give him nickel ever
= morning so that he should take h
cod-liver oil In peace and quietnes
"Wen. what DO you do with IT." IL
2 quired the little friend. Mother put
it in a money-box until there is do
n lar" "And what thenT "Why the
nother huvs another bottle OF co,