davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-20
The Ganneo of the Sim Cleer Sport
ts.o.c.o.c.c Geo.

bones took the box and dice in both her
closed hands an asked What number
do you bet will fall Mister Crittenden?'
That guileful Shep quick as lightnin,
answered. Sweetheart | will guess the
same number as the years you have
Iived-eighteen.' Reachin' the box up the
whole length of her arm, she shook the
bones with tuneful little rattle up In
the air, an then, with her wide eyes
lovingly fixed on Shep. she brought 1t
down in a graceful swoop. emptied out the
bones an I'm a niger II there warn't
three skies turned up into the white sun
light Sasham reached across the board
and shook hands TN DONE he said.
Take her an be good to her l hated
you awfully. but ! reckon III git over IT.
Shep walked over to the maiden. put his
arm around her proudly and kissed her.
II she scorned his kiss I.didn't see II.
was it luck did you ask? Thunder.
naw. man. that gal Jess worked horses
as we call it. on Slashum. Horses Is
dice with skies on every side, they is jess
Obliged to add up eighteen. She limited
10 Shep to guess that number. Gals IS
funny propostions'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-20
4 Y WELLINGTON VANDHVER


bie hot MIR handle the dice Mister Shep
crittenden, findin' he had struck a snag
in his matrimonial inten shuns, the gal
beln set agin havin him without her
brothers consent, and that relative plumb
emphatic in refusin' the same, put on his
thinIfin' cap and evolved a system for
teetotally bankruptn that ehuck-a-luck
deadfall He went around among the
ma ybers borrowin all the money they had.
combined that with his own wad, and
fronted up argin that hold-up game with
a roll of the long green big ernuff TO
choke a cow.
after buckin the game for awhile
with immaterial results. Shep remarks
to that gamblin' Slasham: Look here,
Alfybet this picayune commershul trans
action sorter inks me. It's too much like
playin' krokay with the preacher. It's
too puny an tame for a gent that's alive.
Why, it's no more excitin' than feedin'
a baby soup with n fork. Now If thur
was q rale sport back of that board he'd
let gent bet somethin' in his own way.
sorter as II it was shore ernuff grown
mans game
"slasham. with all of his ways of-mals-
in people hate him. was q dead game
sport, and he PROMPTLY spoke ZIP. scornful
and gritty: Play the game your own
way The limits off, an YOU kin bet
highcrn a cats back. All you've got to
do is to produce the circ,latin medium an
I'll cover il mighty eager on any system
or in any way known 10 civilized man.
You had better kiss your money goodbye
before YOU stacks I'D against Nlmrod
Mari, Antony cadwallader slasham.
There's hundred dollars as says the
bones VIII show eleving spots. says Shep.
planSin' down the currency. Slasham rat
tied EN-. threw EN- on the board with
disdainful air. and three aces s what
was up Two hundred that she WI
fall eleven says Crittenden Ergin he
lost and then consecketively bet four
hundred eight hundred. sixteen hundred.
doublin' the bet each time an winnin' on
The sixteen hendred bet Then he wen.
back TO onehundred dollars ergln, donhlin
Zach time he lost. In hours time Sweat
poured off of Slashum. He got pale an
he'd grit his teeth every time he lost.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-20
MOONSHINE i'm ALABAMA


in season an out of season. hard as a
mule kickin'. He doats on every word
she utters like it's roast possum. They
goes meanderln' off among the ferns and
honeysuckles, Shep walkin' like he's
treadin' on aigs, and she with. her bon
net swingin' by the strings, laffin' at in
tervals same as mockingbrd. and
Chuck-a-luck Slasham lookin' after 'em
plumb somber. On moonshiny nights
they'd set on the door step and sing My
Old Kaintucly Homo. Good Night her
cfar voice twistin' and twinin' around
his biz bass notes, and trillin' in and out
like a shlney little branch among the
rocks. while Nimrod Mark Antony would
jess grit his teeth and cuss under his
breath. Pears to me they are about the
best mated couple in these disgins, and
TO save my life can't discern no reason
ergin their nuptials.
"Shep would occasionally buck that
highway robbery of chuck-a-lucx fell
ony mighty gay and nervy, and he had
free niger luck at il, too, maxim the
right guess as much as three times outcn
five. which jess seemed to set Slasham
looney When Crittenden won he'd guf
faw an tea.ze that miscreant, an jingle
his winning an let on to the boys tina.
it was like takin money from a infunt
kid until Slasham would get mad ernun
to sizzle The gal nd stand by shown
her white teeth with er induleent smile
at Shops foolishness, KNOWN. that he
was doin' this cariyln' on purely TO be Of
amusement to her.
an the main that ehuck-a-luck scheme
is a winner for Slasham to the extent of
pllsgin the nayberhood of it's loose
change. all the sportin' blood Of the set
tlement surgin' into its collar and goin
up against that brace for keeps. which
I figure that at the eend Of month he
had coppered bank roll of about three
thousing dollars. an the BOYS was eittin
action on their money right permscuous
This yere luck condueed to swell the head
of the felon dealin' the game cuf1ninatin'
in his putin on more dog than usual
gcttn' lectle keerless about the limit
and palmin' tho bones Yeretoforc cord
IN TO the rooles of the joint. one dollar
was the limit, an no gent could double
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-20

"S@a""s oUGWTgG AWG lI1 FS1SUUTGS NEW

magnificently lettered all over the
front. 1t surely did look Oriental and
decorative and Mr. Brewster was
grateful when he saw how beautifully
his name and New England address
showed up in Arabic.
That afternoon we landed at Assiut,
which is headquarters for most wolf
ish assortment of guides, street ped
dlers and hold-up men who work in
the bazars. Most of them are Copts
and claim to be good Christians, but
we did not feel impelled to throw up
our hats ON that account. When they
bore down upon us and started to
wrestle with us We could hardly dis
tinguish any difference between them
and the ordinary heather.
From the moment that we landed
Mr.. Brewster of Connecticut attracted
more attention than any other person
in the party. -Four guides laid hold of
him at the same moment and declined
to let go. Later on, in the bazaar, every
dealer who sighted him gave a glad
9utteral cry and tried to drag him
into one of the stuffy little shops. The
arrival of an ordinary tourist is cal
culated 10 agitate Dazar. but when
Mr.. Brewster appeared the general Of
feet was the same as when the raw
meat is carried into the zoo. He was
pulled and hauled and for the whole
length of the winding bazaar his way
was blocked by frantic villains in
white gowns and huge turbans, VINO
dangled tawdry merchandise in front
Of him and begged him to make an
offer. Mr.. Brewster was a good deal
amazed and we were more or less puz-
zled until we came back to the boat
and Mr. Peasley confessed that the
Arabic characters boldly displayed on
Mr.. Brewster's helmet did not stand
for his name and address at all, but
meant. as nearly as could be trans
lated, Rich American-Easy Mark
Poor Mr. Brewster, At the present
writing he is still wearing that bold
label. wandering in and out of shops
and around hotels, inviting the attacks
of guides. donkey boys. servants and
podlers. 1t seemed a rather low down
trick, but Mr.. Peasley said that prob
ably it would flatter Mr.. Brewster TO
learn that any one from Connecticut
could attract so much attention in II
foreign country
Arabic is surely weird excuse for
a language. In its written form it looks
like the bird track illustrations in one
of Thompson Seton Thompson's books,
and instead of reading ii from left to
right you begin at the tail end of a
sentence and back up all the way. In
reading an Arabic novel you turn to
the end of the book and read the last
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-20

mouth was workin he kept loolSin around
furtive and quick, like cat. Any time
he might have projected off into the JIM
jams or INDUCED in Mysteries without sur
prism folks, on account of his nervous,
quick, curious way, though he had a set
smile ON his face while he was talkln
Folks in the hills likes excitement,
same as people in the town. and II warn
no time before the husky youth of Peck
erwood swarmed up to that chuck luck
board an backed their Judgement on how
them spots would fall scandalus. OF coas
this we're condick resulted in devastation
to the finances Of them sportive Reubens
an great fairness in fiscal affairs on the
part of Nmrod Mark Antony Cadwalla-
der Slashan1 Another thing that added
to the popularity of this recreation was
the fact that this we're Alphabet Slasllam
had sister who was as bootiful as red
shoes, who constantly pervaded around
the game and sorter kept her eye ON him
like hen oyer a young chick. How as
ornery bandit as that Slashan could
have for sister good locker like she
was passed our understandn', but nature
frekently cuts such capers as that in the
best regulated families. We all knowed
She was a regular sunburst of loyeliness
an we let it go at that without askin'
fool questions.
1.-THE way Shep Crittenden adores that
gal makes people plumb tired-bggest
fool about her 7 ever saw In my born
days. He'd ride his pony to death any
time to get to where she was. an he's
as tender of her as If she was billed Gus
tard. Called her his 'angel puddin. Shep
was alters a great feeder, an that's the
reason he sawed off them cook book
names on that female beaut. Slasham
with the mulidoodinous inifshuls frowned
on Shops suit though les why he should
oppose them marital inten' shuns of Crit
tenden is a question plenty complex. Shen
is big lusty Kentucklan. hard-worlsin'
free-handed. with good start In life.
no speshul bad habits exeep' cussin'
haws-ra Gin drinkin' 1ilSker ightin' chick
ings lvnchin' niggers. chawin' terbacker
gamblin' an other leetle pecadilloes la
BILE to infcst full-bIooded gent In the
hills, an he shorely loved that damsel
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-20

lower deck. These precautions seemed
10 be needless. Two adjectiyes will
best describe the pride of the harem
shabby and fiabby. Unless you wish
to lose all enthusiasm for the Arabian
Nights, keep away from Egypt.
Sunday.-Arriving in Benz Hassan
at ten o'clock we went ashore and
climbed on midget donkeys and rode
away to explore the rock tombs. Benz
Hassan has been for several centuries
the home of an obstreperous breed of
cutthroats. Repeated attempts have
been made to exterminate or scatter
the tribe, but it is still in existence,
although somewhat subdued The gov
eminent keeps a guard of soldiers at
the town and when we landed we
found ourselves surrounded by the
military while the natives stood back
of the dead line and gazed at us hun
grily. There we began to get close
glimpses of the domestic life of the.
plain people. A mud wall enclosure
with a hut at one nd.
Within this squalid pen, women in
bedragged black gowns, children in
sentative and closely attended by
swarms of flies, two or three enact
dleu SOdlS, ii lew CillththS anu a ooIi-
nolent burro. At present the live stock
and the Egyptians live on terms of
democratic equality, but since the Eng
lsh have introduced the Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
1t is hoped that the situation will be
remedied.
On Monday at two o'clock we landed
at Assiut, after passing through the
locks of the first big barrage or dam
built under British direction and in
tended to regulate the water level OF
the lower Nile and the delta during the
dry season. Assiut Is big town
with some snowy buildings, an attract
i've bazaar and a guide who represents
the thirty-third degree of scoundrel-
ism His name is Hasslm. If you
should VISIT Assault and wish to become
acquainted with the very pink and
flower of villany hunt up Hassim. Per-
haps it will be unnecessary to hunt
him up. He will be waiting for you,
lust as he was waiting for us. When
we went ashore we were attracted by
flying wedge of donkey boys and car
riage drivers, all shrieking like de-
mons and kicking up such clouds OF
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-20

dust as can be found only in country
where the showers are a century apart.
BY striking out right and left we held
off our assailants and succeeded in
boarding a rickety victoria, When we
escaped from the clamor and the
clouds clouds of dust and took our
bearings Hassim was on the box along
side the driver. He had attached him
self to us on his own invitation and
we are glad that he did so, for he
proved to be a rascal of such inventive
fancy and such unusual methods of at
tack that our natural resentment was
fairly lost in admiration. He was tall
and lean, with stern and military
countenance and one eye set at an
angle. His manner was imperious and
from the moment when he fastened
himself upon us ne was in absolute
charge of the expedition.
Fear not" he said. holding up his
hand impressively, Il shall protect you.
You shall see the rock tombs and the
grand view of the valley and the great
bazaar Of Assiut and no one shall do
you harm, for | am Hassim, son of
Abdalla."
This had most assuring sound, SO
we made no resistance. For several
hours he marched ahead of us, pro-
claiming our social Importance and or
dering people out of the way. and
every ten minutes he led us into some
carefully concealed trap and tried TO
separate us from our plasters. All the
time he went through the motions of
defending our interests and fighting
back those who would defraud us. For
instance, in the bazaar. In thought
less moment | had said that | wished
to purchase an ebony walking stick.
He led us to dealer in walking sticks
and here the following drama was
played for our benefit:
Hassim Ito dealer) distin-
guished gentleman wishes to buy an
ebony walking stick. Show him your
best goods and let the price be fair or
never shall bring customers to your
vile shop. CTo the crowd jostling In
upon us)-Stand back Do not crowd
upon the honorable gentlemen from
America.
Dealer (showing an ebony stick with
a badly carved handle of bone, sup
posed to be ivory -Ah, see Yes,
Vera good stick Is it not? Vera
cheap
| docking at ii coldly and shaking
my head as if in disapproyaD-
much?
Dealer-Verra cheap--only twenty
shillings.
Wha-a-t! Gle rushes upon
the dealer smites him on the chest
with his open hand and then tries to
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-20

The gal was there an big crowd
around the board watchin' this fiscal duel,
COS somehow the idee had got out that
these yere wagers meant bzness, an the
occasion was mighty popular with the
nayberhood Shops face was as CAIN as
a bar-room lookin' glass, but Slasham was
lidgety an frettuI The gal stood by as
unconcerned an quiet she didn't let a
eyelash culver. We'all crowdin' aroun
drawed deep breaths, an felt plenty Of
thrill as the great hunks Of greenbacbs
went from one hand to the other
After sawin' back and foarth for near
~ two hours with varyin results, Crit
tendcn counted over his money and says:
! ventures my whole pile on this double
an goes broke or breaks you right yere.
| bets four thousand dollars them dice
will show eleven on the next throw, an
with that he laid the money on the board.
Slasham sarched through his clothes an
laid an ekal amount, but 1t took his last
dollar. Slowly and keerfully he emptied
out the bones on the board. The face OF
one was five. maxim the eleven Slasham
announced his'sef as broke by turnin' his
dice box over on its side.
"Nlmrod Mary Antony Slasham looked
like a wounded animile, huntn' around
for some place 10 die. Crittenden spoke
10 him as he was turnin' off, an says:
/ Wait I'll give you one more chance or
winnn' that money back. ! love your
sister am hopes to win her consent after
wins yours. I'll lay this eight Thousand
dollars ergn your consent. If you wins
quits an let's the girl alone If | win,
you withdraws objections. Slasham
merely nodded his head an reached for
the dice as If he was goin' To throw for
the money, but Shep stayed his hand.
No says Shep. 1T is my proposition an
/ want a disinterested party 10 do the
THROWN The lady herself shall handle
the dice an | yereby puts her in nom ma
ton to determine the chance Agin
Slasham mods his head. The young dam
sci sorter flushed MP, then got pale. an
lookin steadily at Shep across the board,
she says: y am eighteen. an | suppose
that age permits me to determine my own
fate smlin' mighty meaningly into
Shops eyes Then she reached for the
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-20

by producin a chuck-a-luck outfit an
organlzin for blood
"Eh? Why, son, you don't mean 70
say you are such a pinfeather person as
never to have bucked chuck a-luck
deadfall, an don't know none what kind
Of deoosion chuck-a-luck instiGates?
It's shore as simple as cookin' batter
cakes. jess three lonesome call EN-
dice-a match bax, or some other box to
rattle them bones in an pour en- out
from, an a fiat plank to pour the dice
on-that's the whole works. e'pin
like backgammon played ON fiat board
Coolies of fellows can bet at one time,
the bets all bein how many spots the
bones will show when they fall.
The gent who runs this joint don't have
nothin to do until all bets is tabled and
the money up, each citizen namin' his
unbiased opinion as to how many spots
them three dice will add up when they
falls on the board, an then the avaricious
felon who is runnin' this brace pours out
the spotted cubes, after rattlin' EN- awhile
on the fiat board for the inspection of
the interested popu1ace If any scientist
in front of the table has hit the bull s-eye
with a guess he pockets the loose change
on the plank, but if he has failed to
solve the conundrum the bone sharp, who
has got his deadfall rugged for murder.
absorbs the savings. of the inherent agri-
culturist This yere Sin Cleer bandit was
a powerful onery pusson. When he'd
heave in sight You felt like the old LADY
did who walked ten mile to see rhi-
nocery-h boss In a circus. She bestowed
one long, searchin' glance at the beast
and then whined out sorter sorry, My
Lawd. amt he homely?'
''Nimrod Mark Antony Cadwa3lader
Slasham is a understood, dark, Enunt.
tousel-haired Hill-billy. sallow and evil
seemin'; wearing about enough clothes
to wad a single-barrel shotgun A pro
tracted wrastle with the remorseless
drinks of Sin Cleer county may have
put a crimp in his original beauty. but
at the period he confors his society, on
asked. on Pekerwood his face wasn't ace
high for good looks. Talked all the time
too. he did, though he didn't say much
that amounted to anything. And as his
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-20
He Won the Suit.

From the Milwaukee Sentinel
The late Congressman David H. Hem
derson of Dubuque some years ago ad-
dressed the Dubuque people at May day
festival
The ex-speaser. apropos Of ignorance.
said:
"'rhe worst case OF ignorance | can tell
you Of occurred in 50 in remote section
of our country.
'.,rhere was a man who suddenly became
rich and built an enormous house with
some statuary and so he Wrote to Italy
for copy of Venus de Milo
THE copy in due time arrived 1t was
executed IN Carrara marble very beautf-
fully.
put no soner did he receive II than the
millionaire sued the railroad for soon
for mutilation and what's more. he won
the suit"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-20
BY GEORGE AIDE.
Copyrighted, 1906, by
George AIDE.

money, and the stick is worth a dollar
at the most extrayagant valuation, SO
| say to Hassim. Are you in on this?'
He does not understand, but he looks
at me as if hurt or disappointed, and
then says. Il try to get it for ten.
Wait here"
Then | catch him by the slack of tho
blue gown and say that I will not give
ten. | authorized him to offer fifteen
piasters-seventy-fi cents. He says
ii will be useful to offer such small
sum. as the ivory comes from the
elephant and hunters must search
many days to find the elephant and
then carry the tusk forty-seven thous-
and miles across the burning desef.
10 sell 1t to the dealer In Asslut. So
| tell him to stand back and | will
negotiate in my own behalf. So I
break through the crowd and offer
three shillings. Derisive laughter by
the dealer. the crowd assisting. | Of
fer four shillings The dealer says,
Il am a ruined man, but no matter
take it along for eight" Then Has
sim elbows his way back to the scene
of trouble and helps to complicate
matters. He curses the dealer In Ara
bic and says to me in a side whisper
that he has succeeded in buying the
stick for seven shillings. ] offer five.
To make long story short, after
using up So worth of time and So
worth of vocal energy, | buy the stick
for six shillings, and when | return to
the boat the head steward exhibits
one just like it which he bought for
two
This farcical grand stand" play was
repeated every time we stopped to pur-
chase some trifing specimen of ma
tive junk. One of the best perform
anees of the afternoon involved a
mysterious trip up narrow alley and
into a tumbledown house, where Has
sim exhibited TO us four sqnalling In
fants. polka dotted with flies and rich
ly encrusted with the soil of their
native land. Although all -four of the
children seemed to be of about the
same age, he assured us that they be-
longed to him, and we, being unfami1-
lar with the customs of Egypt, were
not prepared TO contradict him. He
said it was customary for visitors to
give a small present to each of the
children. or. better still. we could give
the money to him and he would hand
it To them later.
We shall remember Hassim. He
surrounded his cheap trickeries with
such Il glamour of Oriental ceremony
and played his part with such ter
rife show of earnestness that he made
the afternoon wholly enjoyable. When
we arrived at the landing he and the
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-05-20

at about half price. After two days
of hard study he attempted a CONVEX
sation with military policeman
standing on the river bank at Dendera.
Mr.. Peasley strolled up to him, care
less like, and said ANA awez arabiyet
kwayesset min shan arookh ell ballad"
That was supposed to mean, Il want a
first-class carriage for driving in the
town. The stalwart soldier gazed at
Mr. Peasley with a most bewildered
look in his jet black eyes and then be-
gan to edge away
Hold on said Mr.. Peasley. How
about raj vel gamma ghalar yerafegua
bill tareeg?"
Mr.. Peasley thought he was asking,
'Shall we require a guide or an escort
in this town."
The soldier beckoned to us to come
over and help him out
"Tell him. please that | am educate
at the Presbyterian mission" said he.
Il speak only English and Arabic"
We questioned him later and learn
ed that he took Mr.. Peasley to be Il
Russian This one little experience
rather discouraged our travelling
companion. He said it was foolish to
waste important dialogue on lot of
benighted ignorant who did not know
their own language.
AS matter of fact, English carries
the tourist everywhere in Egypt. The
American Mission school, supported by
the Presbyterians is a proud local in
stitution in each good sized town. At
every landing along the river small
boys from the mission schools would
come down to the boat to ask for Eng
lish books. These requests were such
a welcome variation from the ever
lasting howl for "baksheesh" that the
over-generous passengers soon gave
away all the reading matter on board
and had nothing left for themselves
except Baedekers and time tables.
saw a silver haired old lady from Phil
adelphia give to a coal black and half
naked child of volume of Brown
ing's poems in paper cover. The dusky
infant clasped the book to his bare
hosom and shouted his thanks as the
boat headed up stream. and the old
lady was so gratifed and happy that
she stood looking at him with tear
dimmed eyes and never gave thought
as to what might happen to his intel