Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1906-01-11

CT the man had departed Mir. Rovscr would felleltate himself on having say ed human life If he happened to h. Ill the store when q woman asked fo. boraX he would advance with a smjl on his face and say:
 Madam, are you sure it is boro- you want!'
 Yes, sir''
 Tt isn't carbonate of soda?"
 No, sir
 be sure' now. l don't want to see you make a mistake. Perhaps it is alum instead of borax you want"
 'No, sir
 All right. Go ahead, but if any thing happens, don't blame me"
 When the woman had become fins trated and departed without her borax l would read Mir. Bowser q lecture on tue pehehts ot man minding lis own puslhess, but my words would roll off like water poured on to a ducks back Alter hanging about the store for thraa months he got 10 believing himself quite doctor and was prompt to rec ommend remedies to ailing customers lie even went so far as to call on a sick man and prescribe for him. and. al- thoush the county medical society took It up and made it cost him $50, be was not i'll the least discouraged. On as many as ten different occasions I have bounced him out, but only 10 have nm return after q day or two. Three months ago he began complaining of his liver and helping himself to small doses of my French brandy. Then for the first time l saw my way clear and Dlded my time. He came ill the other evening just as the mother of five chil. dren was asking after castor oil I shook my head at him, but he couldn't keep quiet.
 Madam, is the castor oil for chil- dren:' he presently asked.
 ''1es, sir
 You are sure they need it?"
 "Oh, yes.''
 Wouldn't citrate of magnesia be better!''
 Il don't think So.'
 Well. perhaps you know best, but I nope no tragedy will follow If if "ash for the professional jealousy of the doctors I'd call and see the youne- sters and tell you exactly what they need. but, as it is, you must take your own risk. This is pretty bad weather for funeral processions."
 The woman left without making a 6l, jar on Mr. Bowser. She had hardly gone when he began talking about his liver and making his way behind the counter l heard him smacking his lips over the brandy, and five minutes later he called out:
 Say, doc, is that a fresh stock of brandy:'
 NO: same old thing
 Tt has left queer taste in my mouth.'
 That comes from your liver"
 "Yes, l guess it does, but
 A couple of minutes went by, and then he suddenly sprang from his chair and. shouted out:
 Thunder and blazes, but I'm cramp- ing all up"'
 Do you want castor oil or sewing machine oil?''
 "Whew-whoop! Say, by thunder "WellT'
 Doc, there's something wrong with that French brandy. I've been poi soned, and I'll bet hundred dollars to a cent have! For heavens sake, stir your stumps and give me remedy!'
 How could you have been poison ed d7" I asked.
 "Never mind, but give me a remedy" gave him one. took the greatest satisfaction in preparing and admin istering it and running him outdoors. A crowd soon gathered around him as he hung to a lamp post, and while he was being guyed a couple of policemen came along, and one said to the other:
 Here's an old jay with jag on. Ring for the wagon, and in he goes"
 And the last saw of Mfr. Bowser he was seated in the hurry up wagon and being driven off through the twinkling night. I think I have evened matters up with him. though feel sorry fo- Mrs. Bowser if she has been put ou. any.
 BOWSER's FAMILY DRUGGIST.
 Per NJ. Quad.