davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

TF'rom the Philadelphia Record
Death loves a shining but not necessar-
ily an easy mark.
The dyspeptic's motto IS: Eat. drink
and be sorry"
What's in a manner A croquette. after
all, is only hash.
There is absolutely no hope for the fell
low who is too lazy to go fishing
The way to stop drinking is not to abol-
ism liquor, but to abolish thirst.
The trouble with education is that It
often units a man for making a living.
When a girl refers to twilight as the
cleaning it's a pretty sure sign she's in
love.
Any man knows what to say, but the
trouble is he doesn't always remember
not to say 1t.
There is a legend that Death used to
ride a pale horse: but that was before the
day Of the automobile.
Wigg-..sTo what does Gotrox owe his
seat in the senator WazR-ss-TO the Elm
ence twins, In and Al
BY the time a woman gets all her
daughters safely married she begins to
think about her heavenly reward
Blobbs-'I wonder why SO many people
go to the opera" Siobbs-s'I suppose be-
cause so many other people do
It sometimes happens that a bookkeep-
ers downfall is due to his having acct
dentalEy lost his balance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
WHEN TEDDYCLEANs THEHoUsE

WHEN TEDDY CLEANS THE HOUSE
NY wife, she has house cIeanin'
Bout every spring and fall;
she tears the carpets from the floors,
The pictures from the wall.
she moves out all the furniture
and scrubs or all the floors.
And not speek OF dust escapes
Those cleaning eyes OF hers.
But now our country's cleanin' house
Upon the self-same plan;
The land fraud sharks are "gettin'
theirs"-
The life insurance clan.
The senate's bein' busted out
They We scrubbed the mayors chair,
And cen the stage of gay New York
Has come in for its share.
The trusts are quaking in their Shoes
The bosses rule is done;
The football slugger fears the day
When his glory will be gone.
The railroads, once so arrogant,
Are meek as any mouse
OH times are mighty strenuous
With our Teddy cleanin' house.
Ella Harris Knight.
Burton, Kan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
Oddities.

There is no fresh air in the heart Of
London, according to the conclusions of
recent investigator. He says: mo
evidence of ozone was anywhere aD-
parent, except at Brownswood Park. in
the northeast It was from the north
east quarter the wind was blowing and
the air had lost all trace of ozone before
it had reached Hyde Park; at Bushey
Park although practically a country
district, no ozone was present IN the
air London had not only distracted
the goodness out of the air that swept
over it, but had added to it the exhal-
atoms from the breath and bodies Of
millions of human beings and Of tens
of thousands of animals. Persons liv-
ing within a one or two mile radius of
Charing Cross cannot have fresh all
entering their dwellings, at any time. ="
This world is to be weighed once
more doubts being entertained by
scientists as to the accuracy of previous
estimates; but whether the error be
case of short weight or over weight has
yet to be settled. An expedition is to
set out to Egypt. where the great pyr-
amid will be utilized by the fnvestigat-
Ors First the weight of the pyramid
viii be ascertained, and then the
weight of the earth estimated from its
prODortiOnate size. The swinging of
pendulums will be the gauge. From
the force exerted by the pyramid in
pulling the swinging pendulum from its
natural course the weight of the pyra-
mid can be estimated. and that of the
eartl1-the exact size of which is
known-can then be calculated easily.
What IS 'xenoglossy' % asks An
drew Lang. The word, scientihc
term, ought to be ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ography.' It means "the faculty of
writing foreign languages which are
totally unknown to the writer. 49,
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
The Last OF the Indians.

When, on March 4, 1906, the tribal
organization of the Cherokees, Choc-
Jaws Creeks, Chickasaws, and Semi
noles is dissolved, and their members
diffused in the mass Of the country's
citizenship the final chapter in the IN
dams annals as a distinct race Will
have been written. These are very far
from comprising all the red men in the
country They number a little over
$4,000, while the total Indian popula-
ton OF the United States, exclusive OF
Alaska, is about 270, 900. They do not
even include the entire Indian inhab-
itants of their own locality, the indian
Territory. In the territory's northeast
corner there are fragments of the PeO-
rias, Shawnees, Quapaws, Wyandottes,
Senecas, Modoes and Ottawas, number
ing in all about 1900.
Mum ericallys however, the Five CIV
liized Tribes are more limp orIant than
any other aggregation Of red men
They are Of immeasurably greater con-
sequence socially than all the rest of
tn Indians in the United States put
together. The middle term Of the des-
ignation here given to them means just
what it says. They are civilized IN
dams. In each tribe for itself, for two
generations. they have been conduct
ing their own affairs in their own way.
They have their own legislatures, exec
utives, and courts: also their own
to the requirement that they must keep
within the limitations of the constitu-
ton of the United States and must rec
ognize the United States gOvernme nt's
paramount authority, they have been
supreme in their own domain.
This ascendency ends with the disso-
luton of the tribal governments on
March 4. 1906. United States laws
VIII then be Immediately extended over
the Indian Territory. the terms Semi
mole. Cherokee Choctaw. and the rest
of them will vanish. and their bearers
will gain the same privileges and be
subject to the same responsibilities as
their white neigh bors in Oklahoma and
the rest of the territories. Very soon
after that date they will probably,
jointly with Oklahoma. enter on the
larger privileges and penalties of state
hood.-C. NJ. Harvey, in the March
Atlantic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

The death of Miss Susan B. Anthony
removes the last representative of a
famous generation OF Anthonys from
Kansas To no other family, perhaps,
has it been given to demonstrate so
much rugged strength of character
and to exert so large an influence upon
the thought and affairs of people as to
the Anthony family in Kansas. Ottawa
came into personal touch with the
family through the late Geo. T. An
thony, and the town will long remem-
Der his splendid intellect and his mas
terly grasp of affairs; his cool wisdom
under times of stress and his high
ideals of citizenship Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

after I had finished my beer. still
feeling thirsty, I called for some fruit. -
said the tourist. But the waiter
shook his head
q Why not?' said I.
1t is against the law. Herr the
waiter replied. There is a law here in
Germany that no one is to be served
beer and fruit together. If a restau-
rateur breaks this law, he loses his
license.
a." Tt is a good law the waiter added.
Tt is based on good sound sense. Beer
and fruit don't mix. They are bad for
the stomach. Sometimes they cause
death
"Since that time" the tourist ended
IT have never mixed beer and fruit. It
is q strange idea, isn't it, to have food
laws like that? Suppose President
Roosevelt should pass a law forbidding
the eating at the same meal of ice
cream and lobster. or mince pie and
plum pudding. What a howl would go
up, Ell ?''=Exchange
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.


>
There Is no other disease quite so con-
tagious as gossip.
A conceited man misleads himself more
than he does others.
What's the matter with a star circus
performer as a ringleader2
After finding something good get busy
and look for something better.
Any man who is capable OF thinking
real thoughts never gets lonesome.
Paradoxica1 though It may seem, It
takes a. good wife to make a good hus-
band.
Success comes to the man who can
adapt himself quickly to unexpected con-
ditions.
When a mans conscience begins to ap-
prove Of his evil deeds he has reached the
bottom.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Eight thousand people went to
Caney Sunday to SILVER around in the
cold and curse the luck that took them
off on a Sunday excursion. This ex-
perience probably adds about 5000
persons to the increasing number of
those who know better than to be
coaxed off on q Sunday excursion
Lawrence World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.1
The only man who is sure he is not mod
est is the vain man.
It is objectionable impertinence to kiss
a girl when her mother is looking.
There would be a lot more fun in being
a married man if it was against the law.
A woman is afraid a man is trying to
fMrt with her when she slips down and
he helps her up
It is very hard to make a woman think
that il she gets the odd in whist there is
any need OF getting more to show that
she IS a good player.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
EXPERTENcE

Mr.. McKeever. who was invited to
become the governors private secre-
taly, and then was sidetracked. has at
least laid IN valuable information
against the first-of-Apri1 experience
with its pocketbook and string combi-
nations.-Ottawa- Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
PURE FOOD.

# food at last they purify
I fear that It via change
The flavor. until by and by
Twill all seem harsh and strange.
look for alum when I eat
by daily slice OF bread
BOracic acid. too, I meet
Without 8 sign OF dread
Let chemists go their way, until
The waiter shall with care
Hand out preseriptions, writ with skill.
Instead Of bills Of fare.
Pure foodi'' To some the phrase reveals
A hope OF glorious fame.
Yet when it comes ] know my meals
VIII never taste the same.
WASHINGTON Star
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

The Parsons sun rises to nominate
Farmer" Smith for temporary chair
man OF the Republican state convention,
provided he Is on the Mcpherson county
delegation. The early bird gets in on
the ground door.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Mr. Belts has determined not to con
test the nomination Of John Wilke-son.
Does this mean that the schlitz com
bine has no hope Of counting out Mr.
yylkerson and viii try to beat him st
fhe roffs9
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

It is difficult to see why the friends
OF John NJ. Wilkerson should fear "A re-
count Of the ballots, provided the re-
count were honest and all the reporters
were taken into consideration and elisni-
mated
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

The editor Of the Atchison Globe is
doubtless so glad to get home again
that he won't make a fuss simply be
cause he got here just in time to zen
joy the only real winter we have had
this year
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

The Shawnee delegation to the Re
publican state convention Is to have
meeting to decide on a policy" Being
somewhat unsophisticated IN politics
we would like to inquire Of the chair
what Is a policy in this case. and
what win the Shawnee delegation do
with it? Is 1t an endowment policy. or
one ike Mayor Davis is reported 10
Faveg
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

They were brave they were Amerf-
cans and they died for what they
thought was right. Three good reasons
why the graves Of confederate soldiers
In the north should be appropriately
marked.-Philadelph Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
GRATIFYING

A tour of Investigation by a New
York minister reveals the gratifying
fact that the ladies' of the upper
crust" in their all-night carousaIs at
fashionable hotels do not smoke
cigarettes. but simply drink wines
Leavenworth Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

The story comes from Lyon county
that two farmer boys fred four shots
into a bunch Of wild ducks and got
forty Of them. And yet there Is com
plant about the quality Of fiction that
finds It's way into literature these days!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

The city fathers Of Chicago are GO
ing about things in the right way. Re-
ducing the price of gas and raising the
price of saloon licenses are movements
In the right Observation-Disclosures News
ScimitaF.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Missouri claims another championship.
"A gentleman by the name Of Jones-pos-
sibly you have heard the name before
resident OF that heretofore benighted
commonwealth, claims to be the cham
pion spelier Of the world. Missouri IS
really and truly improving.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

one on the caney gas wei. II the gas
GER were within his jurisdiction he
would probably have had It bottled up
also before this.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

The canal enterprise has been afdict-
ed with too much Cromwell. The com
mittee will make a mistake If it allows
the Legal Wonder to escape without
telling all he knows.-Louisville Cour-
ier-Iournal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

- 1871 ~ = TOT N1IVeIl OF Harvey,
Better reg1steT tonight.@
IF you don't see this tonight it will fit
just as well tomorrow night.
Suggestion: Why doesn't Governor
Hoch appoint an assistant attorney
general to put the lid on that Caney
gas well?
It is whispered more or less con
hdentially to this department that the
man who kills off the peach crop each
year may be happy yet.
The Rock Island and Santa Fe are
rushing to see which can run its trains
to Wichita the quickest. What. we
would like to ask, is anybody in such
hurry to get Wichita for?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Gently is that Of man OF 101 and a
woman Of 100. The dispatches say
that it was a romantic affair, but per
haps they mean rheumatic.-C Chicago
Record Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Kansas City, Kansas. is evidently
doomed to undergo a strenuous cam
Daign next week, judging from the
dates announced for Henry Allen and
CHARLES 3. Scott
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Il Is unfortunate that that gas wen
near. Caney Is just outside the 5urisdie-
ton Of County Attorney Wagstan, If
Montgomery county. he has put the I'd
On everything else down there-and Il
has been just az hard a JOB as putting
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
HE HASN'T THOUGHT OF THAT.


Count Boni says he would rather beg
his bread than suffer an injury to his
pride. What sort of pride is it that
would rather beg. even under great
stress than to earn livelihood by hon
est toll? Why should the count beg
so long as he has health and strength?
Boston Transcript
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

II Taft IS really going to take a
place on the supreme bench. congress
had better rush through an appropria-
ton to put a solid stone foundation IN
der the bench before anything happens.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Winter is doing more than lingering
in the lap OF spring this time. He has
pumped himself down as though he
intends to stay all summer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

The Republicans OF Franklin county
who are lighting Henry Allen held q
convention the othe- day, but after an
organization was erected the list OF
cRicers exhausted those present and
ahere was nobody left to make the mo-
lions
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

The election viii not monopoIize all
Of the publie's attention next fall: There
win be the fun of watching Fred Vande-
grift run a paper Of his own.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
Naturally.

The elderly lady who was looking
through the shop of a dealer in nick
nacls picked up a small hand bag.
Are you sure" she inquired, that this
is real crocodile skin?''
Absolutely certain. madam" reptile j
the dealer; Il shot that crocodile my
SELF
1T looks rather sofed.' observed his
customer.
Naturally, madam" explained the
salesman; that is where it struck the
ground when it tumbled off the tree. -
Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

If the weather bureau has got its pi
atraightened out we would like to have
some March weather now instead of a
continuation Of January.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

And Just Think AS long as a month
ago we were infected with the spring
gardening feverl
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Who would have supposed that the
right to sell mineral water in Wichita
would cause a law suit Now If it had
been the article that made Milwaukee
Fo--~~v-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

It appears that H G. Larimer has
committed the objectionable sin IN
Shawnee county politics by defeating
the state committeeman-tem
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Mr.. Carnegie says that miIlionatres
rarely laugh. But If reports are true
some OF them take their smiles with ex-
treme frequency.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

The annual coal famine was a little
late in reaching Topeka. but It finally
got here, Notwithstanding the aid of
natural gas in trying to head it off.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

The statehood question is like piece
Of tripe- The longer il is chewed the
bigger 1t gets.-Enid (Ok-) Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

As the presidents best friend. Senator
Tillman IS simply carrying the country
by storm. We are a sporting people,
Springfield Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

France, It appears. Is adopting
stand pat policy also. Who is the Uncle
Joe Cannon os France7
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Mr.. Howe can have this satisfaction
that most travellers do not: He has
reached home in time to edit many OF
his letters before they go to the bubnc.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
KANSAS COAAENT



Oh, the perspicacity Of woman. A
woman who reads a number of Kansas
papers regularly and who knows q lot
OF Kansas editors, remarked q month
or so ago that a certain newspaper
man was taking notice Of things
feminine. . in fact she was under the
impression that the microbe Of love
was eating at this editors heart, and
all this from reading his paper He is
unmarried and has a. lawful right to
get into love up to his neck, IL he so
desires Wen. day or two ago a LETT
ter came from Wichita asking If this
Kansas editor is married and It went
on to say that he is making fast and
furious love to an Oklahoma girl of
that he commenced the love making
about a month ago. And we would
like to know by what mental process
this woman discovered from reading
this Kansas editors paper that he is
on the border land Of the shoreless
river of love.-Bent Murdoch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
OLD DEPRAvITY STORY.

As the garden season is approaching
an old story is told to prove the total
pointer to other men it is reproduced
here as it is floating about over in
Missouri: A man in Newton county
resoFted to the meanest trick on record
to get his wife to dig uD the garden
last spring He went out with a spade
and hoe and after searching around
for a while he went to the house to
wash the dirt off dime and quarter.
He had struck 1t rich. Back to the
garden he went whistling Sweet
Marie Directly ne came In again.
this time showing another quarter and
remarked that he could afford to take
nap; he had made enough for one
day anyhow. When he awoke, his wife
had the whole plot dag UP, but she
hadn't found a cent. She does not
know yet that the mine was sailed.
This department once adopted rule
TO refer to Kansas City, Kansas. only
as "Kaw City" but we never .renen-
Der the rule until the next dav.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
EROM OTHER PENS


railroad men from that section have
been meeting at salt Lake City, Utah,
to promote what is called the "See
America First campaign. The idea
of the movement is to persuade eastern
people to command knowledge Of our
own country before they travel in Eu-
rope. and to keep all the tourist money
possible at home. This is. of course
an excellent idea,f and it IS proposed
to develop it in the most attractive
ways possible. California. Oregon,
Washington, Colorado. Arkansas Mis-
sissippi and other states are represent
ed. The plan fer this conference
originated with the Salt Lake City
Commercial club. and Utah has been
seeing more governors of states than
she ever before had gathered within
her borders as the first result of this
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS (Mass.) Jour
nal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
BETTER THAN Law HONESTY"

Something more than new laws is
needed to restore a social conscience to
those seats of finance and commerce
from which 1t seems to have been
driven. The significance of the prevail
ing ferment in American life is that it
is no longer deemed enough to be "law
honest" To reply on laws alone is to
reduce the plane of social life to the
level of the lowest common denoufnator
There are potencies to public opinion
large enough to restrain the tempted
veal weakness to hold back the rapacio Gus
man from his piracies, to reward the
man who under difficulties is true to
himself One of the hopeful signs of
the times is that these potencfes are
being organized. 1t is going to be
easier than II has been for men to be
a square in their business Offices as
they are outside Of them.-New York
Mel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16
JOURNAL ENTRIES
REGISTERI

If you are a patriot. register,
II YOU want to vote ali right;
Whether you're for Green or Harvey
Better register tonight
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Don't you think that virtue Is its cwn
reWard2''
"Of course; but can't help feeling the
It generally doesn't overdo It any.'-Szn
Francisco Call.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Hastus-Aah land! Dis OF mule sho'ly
. ae most cantankerous beast. Gavin {
mex him move any way, but backward
Dennis-Shore, that's aisy to fix list
turn your saddle round the other way AM
yen how him.-Philadelphi Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

$50 you drew pay for Ioafingg' uueried
the insurance investigator.
Sure replied the witness. and earn
ed the money. Loafing is hard work -
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Art Dealer-Here is a lovely little wood
land scene for only g, go.
OIL Magnate-That2 Nonsenset know
where 1t was painted. Why. could buy
the whole farm for S. 500-Somerville Jour
nal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Chumpley-Yes, we've organized an am
ateur dramatic club and we're looking for
an appropriate title and motto for It.
Jigley-Want a good motto eh2
Chumpley-Yes.
Jigley-Why not Think twice before
you tT'-Philadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-16

Explorer-But have you had any expert
ence that would tend to ut you for the
i1arQSnips OF an arctic expedition?
" oulu-Be Member OF Party-Have II
Why, lived two winters in an apart
ment house where was at ODDS with the
Jenitor.-Judge.