davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03
THE UP.To DATE MAIDEN

She is versed in triRonometry, knows
all about astronomy,
Talks wisely of gastronomy, Is fluent
in debate;
Is grounded in psychology, just frolics
with geology.
For pastime takes philology,
The maiden up-to date.
Strong in her self-reliance sirs, she
calmly bids defiance. sirs,
To all that modern science. sirs, says
is not knowledge late;
She can cook a royal dinner, ah, preach
to saint or fiirt with sinner, ah,
At athletics is a winner ah,
The maiden up-to o-date.
And a very unfair nature crowds upon
this learned creature
Grace of form and pretty features, on
which men do much dilate;
For, alas, the wavy tresses and the
dainty. stylish dresses
Are what more than lore impresses
In the maiden up-to-date.
Baltimore American.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03
THE DISAPPOINTED HucKsTERs

Miss May Sutton, the tennis cham
pion, was talking, one day in Boston,
about an early defeat.
"I had been so sure of winning" she
said, ''and that made my disappoint-
ment all the greater when 1 failed"
She smiled.
IT was as disappointed she said, "as
n huckster who used to live in Los An
geles.
The huckster, coming out of a pa
irons house one day. saw a little boy
feeding apples to his horse. Pleased to
see the animal getting an excellent
meal at no cost to himself, the man
patted the boy on the head. and said:
That's right; always be good to
animals. And where did you buy those
pretty apples?
"I didn't buy them,' the boy an
swered: I took them out of your
wagon"
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

II union carpenters decline to work
with non-union men tomorrow, it is
quite probable that number of union
carpenters will be looking for jobs
by the day after.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

When 1t is remembered that August
is the dullest building month i'm the
year. and that a great scarcity OF lum-
ber. due to the shipping strike. has
further complicated operations, the is
suance OF nearly $1,5O0OOO in permits
is something remarkable Los Angeles
is right proud of itself
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Chicago reports the robbery OF a
Pullman car passenger. as II the fact
that persons riding IN Pullman
car were not presumptive evidence Of
a robbery already committed.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Los Angeles. one of the llvest cities
on earth till midnight, has always been
one of the deadest thereafter Now it
gains two hours of life per day.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

The Republican state convention will
be held this week, but so far as the
nominations are concerned, it is all
over but the thanking.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

II is still possible for Messrs. Clark
and Sherman 10 arouse the same feel
ines Of gratitude in Los Angeles and
the towns to the northwest that Mr..
Huntington has awakened here and in
Pasadena. Owl cars gentlemen
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

This is the day wherein two estimable
gentlemen in Goldheld will pummel
and pound each other to determine
who is the "better' man.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Arizona's Democrats have indorsed
Bryan. 1t would be news had they
not done so; news is the chronicle of
the unusual only.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

That woman who was robbed of
$500 in Chicago while aboard a train
about to depart. doubtless failed to
realize that no one is ever allowed
to get away from the Windy city's
thieves with any money.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Chicago cannot contain as many
people as is generally supposed or else
its robbers are more numerous than II
admits. Else why are strangers out
ward bound in Pullman cars made vic
Tins OF thieves?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

1t is to be noted that the most Wig
orous opponent of Chicago's Pullman
car robber was the porter. Is COM
ment necessary?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

The city will complete its own outfall
sewer. BY building it in the first place,
IL might have saved lot of trouble
and several horrible smells.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Bryan naturally enjoyed that dinner
with the New York newspaper men.
He used to be a reporter and still runs
a paper of his own.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

The San Francisco street railway
strikers today lose their jobs, so it
won't be '1abor" day with them after
all
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

How proud Mr.. Huntington must feel
since he read in The Herald yesterday
how grateful Los Angeles is for owl
cars.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

meet this week to certify the ticket
the bosses have selected for it.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

What a relief it will be, when owl
cars come, to the old crow bats which
pull the sea-going nighthawk cabs.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

other suburb. 1t secures owl car con-
nection with Los Angeles.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

The only wonder. now that they are
assured. is that we got along so long
without owl cars.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Now let's wake up the Los Angeles
Pacific company.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

brating Admission day next Monday.
Owl cars also start then.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

One more week of walking home
.ate; th0-. owl cars.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03
Warned Wisdom

Maybe it takes so many oranks to
turn the machinery OF life.
Don't borrow trouble; interest is too
high.
You never get indigestion from too
much food for thought.
Most any hero prefers medal now TO
a monument then "
In the pace that kills, you do get a
run for your money
Married men would often repent at
leisure-if they had any.
Every man has his price. and usually
he isn't worth IL.
Handkerchiefs are womans crying
need.
No man is good for nothing; even
then he makes a fine horrible example.
Money may make the mare 20. but
with a balky mule it's useless.
It's long head that knows no
turnlns. w. II, q.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Bryan home and owl cars assured.
Truly, The Herald has cause for re-
joicing these days.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Chile seems not to have been too bad
ly shaken to prevent a cordial welcome
to Secretary Root.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

The east is preparing for the regular
football season. SO are the doctors and
undertakers.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Los Angeles is to have a new half
million dollar packing plant. That's
another feather in the city's cap.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

charged his private secretary and the
latter is now in course of thawing out.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Earthquake in Prussia? Wilhelm's
mustache must be longer on one side
than on the other.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Ehis is labor's own day; why
SHOULDN'T labor parade?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

How the tourists, used to them at
home, will appreciate those owl cars!
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03
I'M IA WATER PIPE.

Mrs. Eel-Pm afraid something has
happened my husband; he's been away
three days. told him to, keep away
from that big main.
Mr.. sunnsh-I'll bet he's tight In New
York.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03
Population Of Los Angeles. Isl, ,463

One week from today: owl cars.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Mrs. Beetle-I never saw such an In
quisitive thing as Willie Angleworm.
Mr.. Beetle-Well. you'n have to excuse
him. he lives under a rubber plant.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Mr. What's going ONT see
News Omoel
Mr.. Porpoiss-It's about the sea ser
psnts nrst appearance In public.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03
AMAZING FACTORY REVELATIONS in LONDON

Revolving Conditions the Making Industry Rvsns
Chicago Jungle"
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03
How About Potted Ham?

The Express will take on SUBSCRIPTION
any kind OF fruit, such as apples,
peaches, pears, tomatoes, ETC., either
canned or otherwise. Also chickens,
butter. or anything else that we can
use. This being the case, there is no
use in so many being behind with their
cription.-Clarkton IN. CO Ex-
press.
It's funny some wives have any mind
left when they give SO many pieces to
hubby
Funny how fond old roosters are of
drinking cocktails.
Census reports say we all eat one
half of a barrel of salt year. But
some need much more.
Orange-How can it be heaven with
no marriages there?
Lemon-That makes it heaven.
Now Spain says: II told you so!''
Adam Of Buffalo wants to be COVER
nor of New York. He's not the first
man.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03
Pi-Lines and Pick-IIps
The WINE Bows

Willie TO the circus went.
He thought IL was imnense
His little heart went pitter-pat
For the excitement was in tents.
Harvard Lampoon.
Willie put his stockings on
Wrong-side out and thought II fun;
Mother didn't like his whlm.
So she turned the hose on him.
PHILADELPHIA Record.
Loud the baby screamed. and louder;
Willie fed her insect powder
Scolded, answered with a shrug,
Little sister acted bug"
Anonymous.
She sits in sorrow. her refined
And still unwrinkled face Is grave,
Though Time to her has been mos,
kind
Her Willie has begun to shave.
Chicago Record-Herald
Willie saw some dynamite:
Didn't understand It quite;
Poked 1t with his little stick;
Ralned little Willie for a week.
Anonymous.
Little Willie, in the best of sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burned to
ashes.
BY and by the room grew chilly,
But no one liked to poke up Willie.
Harry Graham.
Willie ate a tablet
The family doctor gavet
Now he's got a big one
On his little grave.
Anonymous.
Willie, on the railroad track
Failed to hear the engine squeal;
Now the engines coming back
Scraping Willie off the wheel
Anonymous.
With green apples little Willie
His interior precincts piled;
For the first time since he toddled
Willie's now an angel child.
Baltimore American.
Willie in a bathing suit,
Lounged upon the shore;
Willie was so scantly clad
He made the breakers roar
w. H. C.
Somebody has stolen the crown OF
the former Brazilian emperor. Really,
the admirers of Mr.. Hearst are too I'M
pulsive.
1t is told of Secretary Taft in the
Associated Press dispatches that he
"flitted" through Detroit. Must have
been an interesting spectacle.
Tom Platt is dissatisfied with his
political career. That makes 1t unani-
nous.
A Pennsylvania clergyman has as
serted that George Washington never
won a battle; but the news comes too
late to bring any comfort to the
British.
The czar has lost confidence In his
army. The rest of us lost 1t after
Kuropatkin's first report.
The chorus girl who fails to get her
story and her picture into the Thaw
case is either devoid of ambition or is
handicapped with a little self-respect.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03
RlIIy,s "crowdsd Hour


According to the Tionesta Republic
can, BILLY" Van Camp, who was en-
gagged last week in cutting hay near
Hunter station, encountered and killed
two large blacksnakes. one rattler, and
one copperhead. besides running into a
hornets nest and getting pretty badly.
stung up. 1t must have been a pretty
busy day for Billy.-Oil City (Pa.) Biz
zard.
1t might be relief to the leg-weary
to be centipede, but it would be no
fun getting shine.
Teddy Roosevelt is preiudiced
against the auto. He wants a steed
into which he can stick the rowels
when it bucks.
Alcohol as an illuminant is not new.
Look at the red noses it's made.
If all women suing Loeb get YER
diets Cortelyou will have to touch the
corporations again.
Charity, If it does begin at home. cam
cover enough sins there without going
farther.
There's very little difference between
Chauffeur" and "shover" in pronuncia.
tion, or In duties, either.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Somebody has stolen the crown Of
the former Brazilian emperor. Really,
the admirers of Mr.. Hearst are too i'm
pulsiVe.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

The Jaybird-I see you've still got that
red vest.
The Robin-They are still the proper
caper; or. that is. the jays have not
taken to them yet.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

Charity, If it does begin at home. cal
cover enough sins there without going
farther.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

"Public OPINION, as a factor morl
Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-03

1t is told of Secretary Taft in the
Associated Press dispatches that he
"fiitted" through Detroit. Must have
been an interesting spectacle.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30
GRANVILLE,

Mrs. Susan Oliver Smalley, widow of
the late Nathan Carpenter. died Novem-
Der %, at the home of her daughter. Mrs.
n. ID. Rice, at the advanced age of SO
years and G months. after an illness of
nearly three years with paray sis. The
most of the time she was confined to her
bed and nearly helpless. She was a res
ident of this town and was taken to Rox-
bury to be cared for the last year. She
is survived by two sons and two daugh-
ters Joseph and Will, Mrs. n. d. Rice
and Jennie Oliver Whitney. and four
grandchildren. Mrs. Carpenter was
beloved and respected 10y all who knew
her and will long be remembered and her
memory cherished.
Mrs. Emma Kerr, wife of G. G.. Hub
bard, died at her home November %,
having suffered the third stroke of para
ysis. She is survived by her husband
and two daughters and her mother, one
sister ami four brothers. all of whom
were present at the funeral. The floral
tributes were numerous and beautiful.
Rev. w. f. Douglass spoke words of
comfort to the bereaved family. The in
terment was in the famiylplat Rochest-
ter.
Cornelius Beaman died very suddenly
November 81, at the home OF his SON
George, at the age of 80 years. He had
been in his usual health up to the time of
his death, having been out with a horse
and buggy that day drove six miles and
put up the horse, carried in the groceries
he had purchased and sat down by the
stove. In short time he was found
dead in his chair. He is survived by a
wife, one son and three daughters. The
| funeral was at the home Sunday after
noon, Rev. W. E. Douglass officiating.
A sad accident occurred at the mill of
Leslie Robinson last Thursday. Level
Ign Perry was working near the saw
when he was hit by a passing lever in
such way as to throw his hand in con-
tact with the saw, which cut it off be-
tween the fingers and thumb, the saw
entering his chest, making an ugly wound
80 thatseventeen stitches had to be taken.
Drs. Campbell and Morrison dressed the
wounds. Mr.. Perry is fine Young man
and much sympathy is expressed for his
misfortune. He was taken to his home
in Hancock Saturday.
Charles Mcintyre is able to be out after
three weeks illness.
Aunt Maggie Riley was called home
from Nouthfield by the death of her
neice, Mrs. C. c. Hubbard.
E. A. Stimson and George Sargent
were in Roxbury Sunday to attend the
funeral of Mrs. Carpenter.
VIM H. Riley went to Bethel Monday.
Miss Lou Whitney has returned to Ca
lais to resume teaching this winter.
Lillian Hubbard went to Warren to
her school Monday.
Mrs. Louis Rider, of Rochester, has
been visiting in town for few days.
! She returned to her home Saturday.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30
Reliable Repairing.

When you want your bicycle, watch or
clock repaired, and repaired 30 it will run.
take it 10 the reliable ieweler. Charles westan
and you will make no mistake. Next door to
the Register once.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30

could have raised ten pounds of weight
from the ground, the pain was so severe.
This was my condition when l began us
ing Doan's Kidney Pills. They quickly
relieved me ana now am never troubled
as was. My back is strong and 1 can
walk or ride long distance and feel just
as strong as 1 did twenty-five years ago.
l think so much of Doan's Kidney Pills
that | have given a supply of the remedy
to some of my neghbors and they have
also found good results. If you can sift
anything from this rambling note that
will be of any service to you, or to any
one suffering from kidney trouble, you
are at liberty to do So"
A FREE TRIAL of this great kidney
medicine which cured Mr.. Corton will be
mailed on application to any part of the
United States. Address Foster-Milburn
Co., Buffalo, n. Y. Sold by all dealers /;
price, fifty cents per box.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30
RHEUMATISM CANNOT BE
CURED
UnIeas Uric-O is Used the Store
of M. r. Burt is the Home of
Uric-O in MI dlebury.

The Rheumatic person is skeptical regard
ng the claims Of almost any remedy adver-
tised as a cure for Rheumatism and one can
scarcely blame him for being so. All the
plasters and liniments combined never actu-
ally cured case of Rheumatism They may
relieve it one in quarter but it is sure to break
out somewhere else. The only true way to
cure Rheumatism, is to drive it from the system
for as long as the Uric and Rheumatic Acid
remains in the blood, one is never entirely
free from the trouble. This is where the
value Of Uric O as permanent cure for Rheu-
matism comes in. 1t seeks out the Rheuma.
tic poison in the blood, muscles and kidneys,
renders it inert and harmless and drives it
out of the system. That is why Uric-O is such
an admirable and effective cure for Rheuma-
tism.
The chief reason that Urc-O is such won
derful cure for Rheumatism is, that it is de-
signed and prepared to cure Rheumatism
and Rheumatism only 1t does not contain
any alcohol or other so called tonics to make
one feel good for the time being but is
composed Of antidotes for the rheumatic acid
poison in the system That is the secret OF
its wonderful success. Rheumatism simply
cannot exist In persons system If REQ Is
used.
Uric-O is sold by NJ. X. Burt, "The home
of Uric-O" in Middlebury, at 75c and sI.oo
the bottle, but if You still feel skeptical about
its efficacy you can test it free Of charge by
cutting out this advertisement and sending
same together with your name and address
to the Smith Drug Co., Syracuse, y. Y. and
they will send you a sample bottle free. To
persons who write and say they have never
used Urico O, want to test it thoroughly, and
will agree to take it Systematically according
to directions, they frequently send regula
PC bottle free
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30
E. II. THOMAS
THE CARRIAGE DEALER
Middlebury, Vermont.
Sour
Stomach

No appetite. loss Of strength, nervous
ness. headache. constipation, bad breath
general debility, sour riSines, and catarrh
Of the stomach are all due ~ indigestion.
Kodol relieves ind gestion. THIS new discov-
cry represents the natural juices OF diges-
ton as they exist in healthy stomach,
combined with the greatest known tonic
and reconstruchve properties. Kodol for
dyspepsia does not only relieve indigestion
and dyspepsia. but this famous remedy
helps all stomach troubles by cleansing
purifying. sweetening and strengthening
the mucous membranes lining the stomach.
Mr.. S. S. Ball. Of Rayenswood. W, Va. says
was troubled with sour stomach for twenty years.
Kodo cured me and now using II In milk
for baby"
Kodol DiSests What You Eat.
Bottles only Relieves INDIGESTION. stomach.
becEing OF PAS, etc.
Prepared by E. @. Dewitt & co., CHICAGO.
Sold by W. "A. Sheldon. Middlebury; south
Side Drug store, Bristol.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30
StiOREHAM.

The funeral of j. Q. Caswell was held
last Thursday at the home of his son-in'
law, A. NJ. Smith. Mr.. Caswell was one
of our oldest residents.
Mrs Leffingwell, of Burlington, who
was called here by the death of her faith
er, J. Q. Caswell, has returned to her
home
Guy DeWolf has severed his connec-
ton as clerk at Hotel Bissel and will en-
ter the Albany Business college.
Ralph Holmes is at home again after
an absence of several weeks.
Mrs. E. H. Farnham and daughter, of
Sudbury, is visiting her parents, Mr. and
Mrs. H. w. Jones.
Do not forget the bazaar next week
Monday evening and Tuesday afternoon
from 8 o'clock through the evening. In
the ladies' rooms.
The farce Monday evening with Mrs.
A. Z. Nottingham, Mrs Townsend. Mrs.
NJ. p. Cook, Mrs. Dudley, Misses Bald
win and White on the cast of charac-
tiers need no other recommendation.
Senator ,DeLong and Representative
Preble are spending the week at home.
Henry Wright issganing.
Mr.. and Mrs. Friend McMurtry are
guests of Mr.. and Mrs. II. H. Burge.
Come to the Bazaar supper Tuesday
evening, December 4.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30
Care of Once Clothing.

If mud stains on IA. skirt of black
cloth are difficult to remove, try rub
bling them with slice of raw potato.
A bottle of camphor or oil of cedar
with the cork left out, if hung on a
hook in the closet, will keep away moths
without impartipg disagreeable odor
to the clothing.
To clean velvet first brush or shake
out all of the dust and remove any
grease stains with benzine. If it needs
freshenihg pass the wrong side first over
bowl of boiling water and then over
"A hot iron. If it is badly crushed brush
it carefully with a soft brush.
If furs have become flat and oily
looking about the. neck, they may be
made fresh and lew looking by rubbing
the fur he wrong way with hot bran.
Furs that are wet should never be dried
in front or stove or AN open fire, but
should be allowed to dry slowly with
out the aid of artificial heat.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30
COUNTY NEWS.
BREAD LOAF.

Mrs c. p. Boynton, who has been sick
is better,
VIM. Calvin shot large coon Satur-
day night
Mr.. and Mrs. L. r. Currian have
closed their house for the winter and are
working for j. +. Goodroe.
Mrs. Ellis Noble, Mrs. Anna Mack,
Mrs Alice Christian and Miss Adah
Whittemore are at the Inn for the win
ter.
H. r. Noble lost valuable horse few
weeks since.
Claude and Allen Manning are working
in Middlebury.
a. r. Noble has torn down the house
ON the Whitcomb place and is using the
lumber for sugar house and the brick
to build an orch.
Miss Maude Boynton is slowly gain
ing
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30
for
WINTER y!

Come to f. II. Thomas for a
sleigh. Largest and best assort-
ment ever shown in Addison
county. Covered, spring, pony
sleighs. Also two seated boobies.
They are not to be beaten in
Style or !price for same grade of
work in the state. | mean and
will prove to you just what l say.
Also harness and robes to com.
plete irst-class turnout.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30

The best treatment for indigestion and
troubles of the stomach Is to rest the stom ach.
1t can be rested by starvation or by the use
oil n good digestant which Will digest the food
eaten, thus taking the work of the ach.
At the proper temperature, n single tea.
spoonful OF Kodol will wholly digest 5000
grains OF food. 1t relieves the present annoy
ance. puts the stomach in shape to satisfac
tOrily perform its functions. Good for ndl-
gestion, sour stomach, fiatulence. palpitation
OF the heart and dyspepsia. Kodol is made in
strict conformity with 1.-the National Pure
Food and Drug Law. sold by w. II. sheldon,
Middlebury; south Side Drug store, Br isto'
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30
BRIOPORT.

Services in the Methodist Episcopal
Church, Biidport. next Sunday, Drcen-
her ID. as follows: Preaching at II
o'clock by the pastor, subject, Three
Great Facts; Sun"ay school - o'clock
preaching service 7 20 o'clock by the
pastor, subject, An Intruder"
The Ladies' Home Circle of the Metho-
dist Episcopal Church will hold sale
on the evenings of Thursday and Friday,
December Goth and 21st. Proceeds of
the sale to be used for necessary i'm
provements on church property.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30
CORNWALL.

Mnona stomach tablets which w. II
Sheldon sells under guarantee. cure all
forms of stomach ills.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1906-11-30
Couldn't Lift Ten Pounds.
Doan's Kidney Pills Brought Strength
and Health to the Sufferer, Maxi
ing Him Feel Twenty-Five
Years Younger

Sick kidneys cause a weak, lame or
aching back, and weak back makes
a weak man. Can't be well and strong
untl the kidneys are cured. Treat them
with Doan's Kidney Pills. Here's the
testimony of one man cured.