The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-19
With the Long Bo,U
--"Eye natures walks. shoot folly as Il Hles."
Rev. Mr. Writer'S Crusade Against ''the Chewing
Man. in the sanctuary-The Pastor Opposed to
Gum, Tobacco, a Straw or the Imaginary Oud

n Ev. Mr.. WITTER Of Wolf township, Woods
81 R county, Oklahoma, has declared war against
churchgoers who chew gum or, worse yet, to.
bacco in the sanctuary. In recent address he COM
pared them to goats chewing mistetoe and threat
ened if his advice not taken, to ask the chew
ers to leave the room. He will petition the next
legislature to frame q suitable law to punish such
misdemeanors
Almost every church used to have what called
been formed by long course in mastioaton OF what
was then known q the Toothless: !" "Toothless"
was a 'fne cut'' tobacco of particular power and
filth. The chewing process, however, had become
with the chewing man sort Of reflex action, and
when the chewing at church If the church
carpeted and he could not get a seat near the
of straw the silver from pine chip. Wanting
these he chewed sort Of spiritual cud consisting Of
nothing at all or possibly of some remembrance OF
things past. So he became known to us children as
the Chewing Man. &C. -.
What thing the human critter 49, when he gets
to point where he is rn by his weaknesses and not
by his strength -
And yet you cannot help smiling indulgently at
him you do at Riley's .E.'. -
"Lfttle cuss a-elbowin' In.
To humor his besettin' sin,'' -
Or at little Georgia who drops the kitte in the well to
hear her 60 ''splat" when she strikes the water.
The Russian revo1utionists are making a noise
Hike the Fourteenth Of July.
@>
The sale Of tinted meat has fallen Off grandly
a What do you think Of devoted young leader
hobnobbing with royalty and sitting with his legs
stretched comfortably under Whitelaw Reid's ma
hogany while US common people are debugging the
potatoes and sweatn' in the bayfield,
Whatever you do, don't kill yourself without
waiting at least two years to if things do not
change. One year is not enough. Always give your
self two years. You will be surprised to find how
1amentably foolish the idea of self destruction will
Last year an army of 1889 people killed them
selves in the United States alone. Some of them
seemed to have good reason, but others were actu-
ated by the most ridiculous motives Imaginable.
49, If you came home to dinner and found that your
wife had not prepared succuent dish Of onions as
you had expected, would you give way to suicidal
frenzy and plunge butcher g knife into your throats
That is what in Pennsylvania did recently.
h Perhaps you have been fretted, times beyond
number by your better hafs prediction for bar
" exhibited $127 skirt, which she triumphantly
secured would you end your life then and there9 Il
Wisconsin tried to-
Is Miss Dora Young of Los Angeles, CAL, a
belle of that city. About eight months ago she had
surgical operation. She at once began to take on
fat. Gaining flesh at the rate of five pounds week,
her weight Increased from ITO to 800 pounds. She
became greatly depressed and blew out her brains.
John Tucker, with his wife and baby girl lived
in Mahanoy Valley, Pa. The baby broke her little
Scent doll, and Tucker wished to buy her one.
This led to a disagreement between the and his
wife, and Tucker killed himself
Richard Gordons harrow worked wrong at VIM,
Me-, and Richard Immediately drowned himself.
James Andrews, age l6, of Oxford, Pa, bash
full The thought Of graduating from the high school
preyed him. He put fatirons in his pockets and
drowned himself.
81 Ella Hummel's sweetheart failed to call her one
night and she drank carboc acid.
And so the melancholy list for hundreds
and hundreds of The person is seized by
little foolish idea and he broods on it. In few
days it bears down on him with mountain weight
and fills the entire horizon of his thought. His en-
tire of perspective is gone and he is glad to dc
anything to escape the intolerable sense of misery.
Don't do it! Sit down and think around it an5
wait two years. BY that time things will have
changed and you will be having the time Of your life
"A p