davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1906-10-03
p,rd. Have Fayorite Plants.

Like man, birds have their favorlte
plants. It has been discovered that the
goldfnch is passlonately fond of apple
blossom. This may be because its ia
yorite building site is in the lichen
covered forks Of apple trees, but apart
from such attachment the bright little
finch frequently spends hours tearing
the PETALS into tiny fragments. Though
the nightingale never builds in the
thorn boughs, it loves to sing on may
laden branches, often IN the very midst
of the fragrant blossoms. It is some
what peculiar that most birds avoid
the COW parsnip, owing, no doubt, to the
unpleasant greenish smell emitted oy
this umbelliferous plant. Small olrds
very often build in less secure places
but the parsnip, gigantic and strong as
it is, is left severely alone.-London
Opinion.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1906-10-03
CA Tor RIA
Bears the Il The Kind You Have Always Bought
Signature si I@<X2Zzzw
The Wearing OF Hats.

More or less of modern habit is the
constant wearing Of hats. Even as late
as 1850 Horace Walpole mentions as a
matter of course that he never wears q
hat. Remember" he says, writing to
q friend notoriously careless about bis
dress, who was expected home from
Holland, Everybody that comes from
abroad is supposed to come from
France, and whatever they wear at
their first temperance Immediately
grows the fashion. Now If, as is very
likely, you should through inadver-
tence change hats with the master of a
Dutch smack In q weeks time we shall
all be equipped like Dutch shippers.
You see, speak very disinterestedly,
for, as never wear hat myself, it is
Indifferent to me what sort Of a hat I
don't wear"
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1906-10-03
GA TOE Ia.
Bears the 1Tha Kind You Have Always Bought
s's,s:''' :; l3x,zzAzzzzw
REWARDS OF L11eratur.,

A very talented and we'll known
writer-successful too, in the popular
estimation-tells me: Il know man
who spent fifteen years leisure in get
ting the material for his best book and
writing it over three times, then Offer
ed It to almost every publisher In
America, meeting with refusal by all,
and finally sold it to a London pub
Usher for ESQ, had it republished In
America some years afterward, got q
few dollars before the publishers fall
ed and as bis last royalty received
Just 2 cents, which was exactly 10 per
cent Of the last sum due him. I am
tie man, but don't publish the fact
nor feel inclined to brag about 1t nor
to complain, for that would be useless
and would only cheaper my wares In
the literary market. The book paid
me, by accurate calculation, 331a cents
week for the fifteen years work.
Papyrus
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1906-10-03
Doctors said He would not Live.

Peter Fry, Woodruff, Pa, writes:
"After doctoring for two years with
the ibest physicians in Waynesburg,
and still getting worse. the doctors
advisec me if 7 had any business to at
tend to I had better attend to it at
once. as ! could not live another month
Is there was no cure for me. Foley's
Kidney Cure was recommended to me
by friend, and Immediately sent my
son to the store for it, and after taking
thsee bottles began to get better and
continued to improve until I was en-
tirely well. The Arant Co. Drug
Store.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1906-10-03
Don't be Imposed Upon.

Foley & Co., Chicago, originated
Honey and Tar as a throat and lung
remedy, and on account of the great
meria and popularity of Foley's Honey
and Tar many limitations are offered
for the genuine. These worthless
limitations have similar sounding
names. Beware of them. The genuine
Foley's Honey and Tar is in yellow
package. Ask for it and refuse any
substitute. 1t is the best remedy for
conghs and colds. The Arant CO.
Drug Store.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1906-10-03
Conceive.

THE eREaT WILD BAGThR CAMEL asss. ass from s,ss: T.
BLACK TIGERS SxN TIE ST fz 8HES aSE
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
A True Clearly DayN Story.

The early homes of middle Wisconsin,
like those of pioneers elsewhere, boosted
few Of the comforts Of life and none Of
it's, Injuries. In all the community Of
r. no family owned such a thing as
carpet. Mrs. D., who could remenl-
Der childhood spent in New York,
long cherished the hope that some day
she might have a carpet for her . front
ROOM When her brother in the east
sent her one at last her joy knew no
bounds. In spite Of the fact that it
proved to be too short each way by two
feet, it was straightway laid in the
front room. And Mrs. d. had not long
to wait for chance to display the new
treasure. Neighbor Rowe s young wife,
born and bred in the western and car
petless Wilderness, was the first caller.
With hands trembling with excite
ment Mrs. D. opened the. front room
door and, fairly bursting with pride,
invited her guest "to walk in and take
a seat Il
With lifted skirts and carefully edg-
ing her way around the wall on the
narrow strip of bare floor, Mrs. Rowe
tried to reach the chair on the other
side of the room. In turning the cor
ner she lost her balance and unwittingly
put one foot down on the new carpet.
Gland, Mrs. d. she fastened to
apologize, "You III have to excuse me,
T IN that awk ard I we gone and stepped
on your new coverlid. - E. M. L.
... ST. Paul. :
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
The Germans Wish.

A travelling salesman on dropping
into the store of a German ciga- dealer
recently, asked for the proprietor and
was informed by boy behind the
counter that he was in the back yard,
so he passed thru the store into the yard
and found his German friend looking
enviously at big dog that was snug
gled closely in bundle Of straw. AS he
approached closer he. heard the dealer
say: "You vas only a dog and I vas a
man, but I Wish I vas you. HI.
even you get mid the bed in you shust
durn around three dimes und lay down.
Ven 60 nit the bed in hat to lock
up de blaze and up Wind the clock und
put de cat out und undress mienself,
und mine wife wakes up and scoles me;
den der baby cries und [ hat to walk
him up und down; den may be ven
shust go to sleep it IS dime to get up
again. .....
even you get up, you yust dretch
yourself und scratch couple Of dimes
and vas up. I hat to light the fire
and put on de kettle, scrap some nit
mine wife alretty, und maybe get some
breakfast.
You blay round all day und hat
blenty of fun. I hat to work all day
und haf blenty of drubbles. Ven you
die, you's ded; ven I die I hat to go tc
hell yet. R. F. S.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
The Music of the Bells.

One day I was riding on top Of bus
in London with my friend Casey.
was nearly worn out with several hours
of sightseeing and the hustle and ex-
element Of the London streets, the hoi
polloi, the billingsgate and the din and
rattle were becoming almost unbearable
when we came in sight Of Westminster
Abbey. o.. ..... u.
Just as we did so, the chimes burst
forth in joyous melody and [ said to
Casey: ''Isn It that sublime. Ism
it glorious to hear those chimes pealing
and doesn It it inspire one with renewed
~vigor?'' E.
Casey leaned over with hand to his
ear and said, "you II have to speak a
little louder, George, 1 can't hear you. "
"Those magnificent chimes. Do you
not hear them pealing? Do they not
Undue you with a. feeling Of almost
reverence?'' -. s..s55z.2 ~ ~ ~. r.
Casey again leaned forward and said,
"I can't hear you. You ll$have to speak
LOUDER ys a.. - --.=
I got as close to him as possible and
said edo you not hear the melodious
pealing of the chimes? Do they not
recall the salutation of old Trinity on a
Sabbath morning? Do they not take you
back into the dim vistas Of the past
when the world was young and touch
your heart with a feeling of pathos?'
Casey put his mouth close to my cal
and said: "Those d bells are max.
ing such hi Of noise%and racket
George, I ut hear you.''', = =
Frank w. Bartosh,
1904 Thirty eighth avenue S.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
A Close Call.

A colored preacher was closing an
eloquent discourse on final retribution.
I" Yes, my unconverted bredren, unless
yo' sure repent de deble will get cherry
one o,.yo' just as sure as-just as sure
as
Here his eye alighted on fly crawl
ing on the top Of the pulpit. Raising
his hand aloft and balancing himself
he continued his peroration. Just
as sure as cotch dat fly
He made frantic swoop across the
pulpit and held his tightly clinched
hand before his eyes. Slowly opening
his hand he peered cautiously within
his palm and between his fingers.
Then, with puzzled expression, he
rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and
along the wall behind him. At length
facing his excited and perspiring au-
dience he concluded in hoarse
whisper:
ssGolly, done clean missed him! =
e w.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
The Positive Man Again.

The red-faced man turned to the
passenger in the seat behind him.
"Will you please put down that win
down. he asked politely.
nWhy no" began the passenger.
4 asked you if you would be good
enough to close that window repeated
the redfaced man trifle belligerently.
emo, I will not. -
stThen I will,'' said the redfaced
man, as he arose.
RI m not SO sure of that returned
the other.
The redfaced man had the fire Of
battle in his eye as he strobe to the
window. The forid face became
purple as he struggled to lower it, but
it didn It bulge.
IT thought you wouldn't put it down,
said the unobliging passenger, sweetly.
q I tried it myself before you came in. :
But the redfaced man had vanished
into the smoker. R. d. d. Z
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
FIRST PRIZE.
This story gets SIS.
Never Noticed Her.

Two women were standing on the cor
ner of Sixth street and Hennepin wait
ing for car.
Did you notice that girl that looked
at us so pointedly?' asked one.
No, dear, which one?'
1.-The one standing by the library
'Oh! you mean that girl in the gray
walking suit with the blue stitched re-
vers; blue velvet hat with a big bow
of green velvet ribbon across the front
of it; a pair Of gray gloves stitched in
black; a gold-headed silk umbrella; a
blue silk petticoat and high heeled
| shoes7'
/ eyes, dear, that was the one.'
I 7 mo, I didn It notice her. In fact
hardly looked at her at all. -
IT p
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01

dat's what he done-hit me right here
in the countenance, hit me away up
here in my presence. =
why did he strike you?
I amt axed him dat an he amt
told me-
What cause did you give hill -
SWho give himq"
/" You-what cause did you give
himq''
Give him for what?''
/" For hitting you. Haven 7 you got
any sense9"
'sWell, sab, I dom know. Some
times / think I has and sometimes [
think I hasn't t.. He hit me all the
same'' E.
did he have any cause to hit you?'
doubled up his fist, he did, and gin
me a spat right here in de spression of
the face
"What had you done to him?"
"W'y I hardly knows de mamie IS
brudder in de church dats all knows
about him. Come er hittin me up yere
where I look. l don't like it, sab,
Come er spilin my face fur de funeral
dat's coming off dis ebening.'
"What I want to know is what did
you do to him?' H. # 4
GLOW could I do anything to him
when bof my eyes done knocked inter
one?' h. d. T.. IT,. (
"But what did you do before he hit
you?'' ..@.. r.. -.
"I kicked the trifing scoundrel
dat's what done, but eff you amt got
no law in this house I'll go sommers
else. Good day sab. - ~. s..s.- +. f..
"<r ..s j. Mem.
| -~,.. F.. Ashland, Wis.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
The Soup Was Good.

A captain on board a ship was very
fond of split pea soup, and calling his
new colored cook to him one
day said, "Sam, We'll have some split
pea soup for dinner today
g Vas sah,'' replied Sam, bowling
obsequiously, and withdrew to prepare
the soup ~. sE- r.. "
But when the soup was served the
peas appeared WHOLE
s1.ss=tsI don't want the soup like this
said the captain, II want the peas
split, do you understand? Split. y
g Vas, cap in, !" said Sam, very
meekly.
The following day the soup appeared
to suit the captain S taste so well that
he spontaneously remarked to the
cook: uSam, your split pea soup was
fine today, in fact so good I'd like some
more tomorrow.
tsOh, Lor no! Mars Cap ~ said
Sam, q don t hab any more of dat dere
soup again so soon. I thought yester-
day I wouldn It hab no teeth left when
I rot tru wild dem peas. =
Mrs. ]. Frank Campbell,
$500 Thomas avenue s.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
DOWN WITH bay RUM .
The CRY. N N .A0LY0 Ok.
When BARRIERS Put It on Men S
Faces It Soaks in and Gre
ates Thirst for Real Stuff.

Holyoke, Mass, March 31.-Another
that have their inception in this city
of the simple life was inaugurated here
today. AS the cry in Holyoke nearly
half century ago was "Abolish
slavery so today it is "Abolish bay
rum. = It has been discovered that the
distillation of the leaves of the green
bay tree is full brother to the stuff that
steals away mems brains. It is also
found that young men and old men who
after shaving frequently go out and
acquire what is technically known as a
"bun. ~ ..2 -sE
Local scientists have put two and two
together, and unanimously conclude
that the curse Of rum is absorbed thru
the pores of the skin, begetting thirst
that accounts for the busting activity
with which so many men hustle from
the hands Of the barber to the nearest
sample-room. go
Public sentiment, which in Holyoke
can always be counted upon to be far
ahead Of the times, has demanded the
exclusion Of bay rum from the ton,
serial parlors," and now, by general
acclaim, along with the horseless car
riage and the engineless train, this fair
New England city has the bayrumless
barber shop, and the sweet odor Of bay
that was wont to lull to slumber the
| citizen when he made his sen,i-annual
trip to the tonsorial artist to have his
hair cut, is gone forever.
| Water only is to be used hereafter
Real bay rum costs So a gallon. The
tonsorialistss are happy, for they have
J subscribed to public opinion, and at the
same time are saving money by thei1
virtuous action. Indeed, it is rumored
among the sungodly:s hat the whole mat
ter Of the dangers from bay rum was
conceived and propagated by the bar
/ bers. One of them confdentially de
clared that the use Of bay rum hac
become an intolerable burden, as all Of
the men in Holyoke wear whiskers
and these sopped up an astonishing
quantity of the costly fluid.
- Did you ever, in all your travels,
asked the barber informant, meet will
a man from this place who was wits
kerless9 No, you never did, and with
/ us, who appear to be born with wills
kers, it is whiskers till we die. Dow1
| with the curse of (bay) rum. =
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
A Quick Retort.

Not very long ago a Chicago girl was
visiting some friends in Boston. Being
a westerner, they expected her to live
up to the reputation given western girls
by books, but were seriously disap-
pointed in finding her not at all differ
ent from themselves. She watched
their disappointment and began to
think what she could do to retrieve
herself. ... ~ H.
One day, when they were out in the
bay, they saw the launch of Thomas w,
Lawson coming and dared her to speak
to him. She hesitated at first, but
finally screwed ups her courage and
when the boats were opposite she
called out. 49, 49,.
"Hello there, copper!'. -.
Quick as a flash Mr.. Lawson turned
saw the boat, and shouted back,
"Hello yourself, brass!,, -
~ M. H. B.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
A Pertinent Question

A well-known golf player met an old
friend, whom he asked to come and
have game.
"What s. gowff9' asked his compan-
ion. - "
The sportsman took his friend along
to the links and then said: 80 Now,
give me your best attention and | will
show you. - -. =. r.
So saying, he took a ball from his
pocket and placed it on a small heap
Of earth. He made a furious drive
and missed it. Then he tried a second,
but missed that also. S
. GA graund game, gowff!'' said his
companion. E
He tried the third stroke and again
missed it.
"a graund game, gowff' exclaimed
his friend, "but what's the wee baw
for?' .- +. Dunbar,
2021 Columbus avenue
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
The Cannv Scot.

A Scotsman eWent to an English race
meeting and boldly staked sovereign.
The horse he backed proved winner,
and he went to the "bookie - to claim
his winnings.
The sporting man begrudgingly
handed his five sovereigns. The Scot
looked at each one very carefully be-
fore placing it in his pocket.
"Wen,'' said the bookie, with a
snarl, "are. you afraid they're bad?'
"Oh no, but was just looking to
make sure the bad yin I gied we wasna
among them Mrs. L. >.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
Prizes for stories printed on this
mace are awarded as indicated

Prizes for stories printed on this
page are awarded as indicated.
For the coming week T h u r
nal again offers SIS, first prize; So
second prize, and So. third prize for
''the hest story YOU ever heard"
1t Is not required that stories be
original, but new and true stories,
retoId in the writer's own words. will
be considered In the competition.
Write only on one side Of the paper,
giving name and address with each
story. Specify If you want your
initials used as signature. Do not
send clippings or inclose stamps, as
manuscripts will rot be returned.
Stories must not exceed 800 words
and should be of humorous nature.
Omit introductlons, and be brief.
Checks will be sent to prize winners.
i Address Best Story Editor. Jour-
! nal, Minneapolis, MINI. go. a.. r.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
Hit Him in His Presence.

"What IS the matter with you
Silas90 asked justice of the peace,
before whom an old darby had APP
peared.
1T wants warrant for de rest an :
'viction o. Brudder Davey Smif. -
WHIST has he done go
Come hittin' me in my presence,
OATS what he done.
Hit you in your presence -
Yes sir, dat s what he done
What do you mean by hitting you
in. your preseneee
He hit me in the countcnance. sab.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
Quite Appetizing.

Some ladies from the city were max
ing a visit to a nearby farm. Inspired
by their evident admiration for all they
saw, the farmer quite surpassed himself
in his efforts for their amusement.
When they sat down to dinner he put
small bottle on the table and said gally:
s'Now you ladies amuse yourselves
guessing what is in the bottle while
/ carve the chickens.
One lady guessed a small potato, an
other a peanut, and finally they gave
it up. IA E.ss
Why said the farmer with a de-
lightful roar, that's my little toe, got
it cut off in the meadow ii
G.a H. NJ,
Austin, Mimi.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
Quite Unreasonable.

The clergyman in a small country
church was. giving newly married
couple some advice as to how they were
to conduct themselves, and so live
happily.
You must never both get cross at
once It is the husband s duty to pro-
tect his wife, and a wife must obey her
husband, and follow him in the walks
of his life,''
But sir" pleaded the young
bride.
{. II haven't yet Finished" remarked
the clergyman severely. "She must
But, please sir''-in desperation
can It you alter that last parts My
husband is postman in the district. "
Walter E. Mobbs, -,
Metropolitan Hotel, St. Paul.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
Doing Things Nicely.

Mrs. Brown had a new seryant---a
Swede, Hilda whom she was training
to wait upon the table properly. The
girl made such rapid progress that Mrs.
Brown decided to give little dinner
to test Hilda S newly acquired know
ledge as waitress.
The dinner progressed successfully,
Hilda serving each course correctly as
she had been instructed, SO that by
dessert time Mrs. Brown was congratu-
lating herself on her competent maid.
But her pride was destined to have a
fall, for Hilda appeared with finger
bowl, passed it to the guest Of honor
inquiring stolidly: "Vant to vashs''
Mrs. L. B. Morton,
Iowa Falls, Iowa.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
Argued to a Fine Point.

Father 0 'Hara on making his round
of parish visits was invited to dine with
Pat Murphy. When dinner was
brought on the reverend father was
much surprised to find sausage served.
why Pat he demonstrated, Hyou
surely are not eating meat in Lent?o
That's not meat, that's sausage
said Pat.
Well, sausage Is made Of meat and
you should not eat it during Lent.
Before leaving the father ordered a
load Of wood sent to his house. Next
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
Made a Hog Of Himself.

The city fathers were discussing
whether lager beer would intoxicate,
but could not agree in the matter, they
agreed to leave it to Mr.. Falkenstine,
one of the council who was absent.
Later he came in and the question
was duly referred to him.
Veil, )" says that gentleman, who by
the way was an exbrewer, 81 drinks
forty or fifty glasses day and it don It
intoxicate me. T don't know vat it
might do if a man made a hog of his
self W. L. w.
Fargo, n. D.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
THIRD PRIZE.
This story gets So.
Necessary.

One Sunday two small boys were in
dustriously digging in. a vacant lot,
when man who was passing stopped
to give them lecture. So
tDon't you know that it is a sin
to dig on Sunday, unless it be case Of
necessity,?i g..
eyes, sir,' timidly replied one of
the boys.
"Then why don It you stop it?'
Cause this is case of necessity
replied the little philosopher. GA
fellar can It fish without bait.
A. A. +.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
SECOND PRIZE.
This story gets So.
Ready for the Remedy.

The artist while out walking with a
friend Of his, this friend complained Of
a toothache and asked the artist what
he could advise him to buy, as they
were. in front Of a drug store. r.
"Why,' said the artist, "the last
time I had toothache I went home
and my wife kissed it away for me-
After moment s pause his friend
said, els your wife at home nows'
H. NJ,
- ..'-s",~ Austin, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01

full particulars, with view to similar
practices.
ttTell me just how the accident oc-
curred?'' demanded the friend, in a
confidential whisper.
~ tell you,' said the proprietor,
the rats gnawed matches and set it
going"
Glow do you know9 Did you see
them?"
Ono, I didn't see them, but l know
I rubbed matches in the limhurger
cheese before I threw them on the eel
lar floor M. M. ~,
Hopkins, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-01
COUNTY BUYS BLOODHOUND
Michigan Supervisors Will Use Trained
Dog to Catch Robbers. IS

St.sIgnace, Mich, March ala full
blooded bloodhound, the purchase Of
which has been authorized by the Mack
mac county board of supervisors, has
been ordered from faneier at Eagle
Lake, Tex, and will arrive about the
first Of April. The dog answers to the
name Of jeff Davis. jeff is full
grown, trained man-trailer, and will cost
the county 1925 and express charges.
The canine will be used in running
down criminals. An epidemic of small
robberies committed at St. Ignace last
summer and fall induced the purchase
of the dog.