Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1906-02-07
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Little Oily and Bis Uncle Discuss
Our Noble Senate.

Tell me, dear uncle" said little
Oily. as he looked up from his news.
paper, what useful purpose the SEN
ate serves our great and glorious
country"
You have given me keen delight.
Oily, by your question" replied Uncle
George. with some animation, as he
laid down the automobile catalogue he
had been perusing. IF there Is one
thing more than another on which |
love TO discourse, il is that grand an5
emphatically noble collection OF good
men we call the senate. The senators
are the bulwarks of our nation. They
are the embodiment of every good and
honorable purpose of which we know.
and | am proud TO think our interests
are safe in their hands. There are per
sons-rude, uncultured. irresponsible
individuals, Dilly-who sheer at the
senate. but we must overlook these
sneers, for how can the common peo-
pie understand the high and mighty
motives of a senator?
Were it not for the senate, Dilly.
we would have little to amuse us in
this enlightened age. When George
Bernard Shaw had grown tasteless on
our intellectual palate; when William
Randolph Hearst had ceased to dis
cover heart throbs in the sad, sad story
OF some dyed-in-the-wool malefactor:
when Anthony Comstock had ceased
writing his opinions of the plays he
had never seen, whittier would we
turn for amusement, but TO the sen
ate? Those gallant gentlemen. Mr.
Jefferson, Mr.. Hamilton and Mr. Wash
ington, builded better than they knew
when they gave us a senate for our
very own, and we should grin delight
edly when we think of them. Think
what life would be without a senate"
But is not the senate of great use
in making the laws Of the country"
asked little Oily
"Of great use, my dear nephew" re-
piled Uncle George. with a twinkle
in his eye. 1--WE have discovered that
the senate bears TO our nation the same
relative value that q garden rake does
TO a torpedo boat. Ornamental In the
extreme but slightly disconcerting
when encountered in the dark. All,
my dear boy, in discussing the nation
al affairs with your companions, do not
permit them to deride the senate
Abandon them at once when they cast
slurs on the honesty Of a senator
remember, years ago, that / INDUCED
in a personal fracas over an attack
upon one of our senator's / look back
with regret to that occurrence. and |
only mention it to show you how high
] hold the institution. A low born
person spoke in sighting terms OF
Senator Scadds. attacked him at
once, and we bickered long and ardu-
ously. and in the end / defeated him
with my bare hands"
Had he insulted the senator's high
office. uncle?" inquired little billy with
pink excitement.
He had" declared Uncle George.
proudly. He had referred to Sena-
tor Scadds as an honest man. could
not brook the horrid charge. All. my
dear nephew. look with reverence upon
a senator. They are master hands at
craft What more ennobing spectacle
can the young be afforded than a row
in the senate chamber? Imagine, If
you can. Oily, the absorbing interest
that attaches when Senator Bullion
arises and calls upon the honorable
Gentleman from Iowa to explain
how he came to accept a bride
of a paltry 10000 Picture To
yourself the righteous indignation
of the Gentleman from Iowa when
tucking mis- flowing whiskers un-
der his belt. he waves his arms and
declares that Hon Senator Bullion is
Id H. 90
tons specifically that he never in all
his honorable career accepted less than
$4,000 and an annual pass for him
self and family over the road Con
ceivc. If you can. my boy. the indie
scribable scene when Senator Bullion
hurls scathing cuspidor az the Cen
tleman from Iowa. which, owing 10 the
excitement of delivery. merely strikes
the speaker on his bald head Watch
eagerly, Oily. how gracefully the
Iowa expert replies with a sarcastic
copy Of the Holy Writ, and then i'm.
Bgine. If you can, the mad cheers from
the rest Of the chamber as the retorts
follow each other thick and fast. while
ambulances drive modestly M to the
door OF the east wing
we snOuld De proud or our senate.
my dear nephew, for nowhere in this
fair world is so much action and com
mon sense crowded into such small
space "a at Washington Titled for.
eigners have visited our senate cham
Der and have come away with tears
I'm their eyes-caused by chair splin-
ters or bits Of pay dirt that rose into
the gallery They have expressed their
keen appreciation OF what they saw
when they returned to their own coun-
try, and we today occupy an ensiable
position as possessing the best all
around champion, fighting collection