Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1906-06-21
Uncle Bertram's
Curate
fCopyright By Joseph B. Bowles.)
By sHIRLrANA

Oul pdClCiOi uAIAOs AS NOAo
remember, the rectory had been our
home.
We %all-except Constance, who is
Just II and sentimental-tried the
usual amount of arguments, and we all,
of course, failed, as we usually DID
when Uncle Bertia am was bent upon
some new scheme. But the shadow OF
this latest fad hung over our heads
with unusual heaviness; and when the
following advertisement appeared IN
the leading church paper we felt that
the new trouble was indeed upon us:
Wanted, by a country rector, a
young curate. No objection to one
fresh from the university to whom a
title might be given. Broad-minded
preferred. Offered: board and resi-
dence in charming old rectory, with
small salary. Dry, bracing climate
Plenty of spare time could be guaran-
teed. Tennis, golf, boaaing, bathing,
hockey, bicycling, riding, driving, mo-
toring, and the use of stables"
Uncle had no less than 80 replies u
his advertisement. Oh! those replies.
| Some of them we're worth keeping,
After much consideration uncle weed
ed them down to five. And then the
fun began.
The five selected candidates were
each requested to come, in turn, TO
have a personal interview; and as we
are ten miles from the nearest railway
station, we had to put each of them up
for the night.
The first, Mr.. Lovelace, a delicate,
poetical-looking man, arrived on a Dit
terly cold day. After the ten miles in
our pony cart, with Nebuchadnezzar in
a stubborn mood, Mr.. Lovelace pre-
sented a fcrlorn appearance indeed. !
was sure that Uncle Bertram had
tried his best to be CHEEKY and equally
sure that he failed signally all along
the way.
"Ah!" he said, as he brought his
drenched victim into the hall, mo
that we're home at last, Mr.. L%ovelace,
all the trials Of the journey will be for
gotten"
We were all in the hall and Con-
stance looked compassionately at the
half-drowned man, who rolled his eyes
towards hers as though he deserted in
them the only kindred spirit. Mother
said she hoped he had not taken cold,
that she had ordered a fire in his bed
room, and that tea would be ready
soon.
After he had become a few degrees
less cold and a few shades less blue
at a given signal--a cough from I'm
lie Bertram-we all left the drawing
room, that the rector and his select
I'd candidate might be alone.
| never heard exactly what passed
between them, but after about an houl
and a half uncle came out of the draw
Ing ROOM, excited and rather cross
and said to mother in the dining room
| MIR. Lovelace has taken a chill ant
; will retire to his room at once. HI
. would like a small quantity of quake
oats, some sweet spirits OF nitre, ant
hot water bottle.
Then he returned to the DRAWN!
. room, left the door open and said t
!, Mr.. Lovelace: There is a very goo
express train early in the morning, an
,, no doubt, with this chill, you will b
glad to get back to your aunt in Lon
: don as soon as possible"
Uncle, nothing daunted, speedily ar
. ranged for the next man, a Mr.. Robi,
:, from Nottingham, to come on approva
The fates were kinder to him, mas
/ much as he arrived on a fine war;
day; and ACKNOWLEDGMENT, driven b
Ieorge-the only person who can max
him go-came home in his best stylt
Uncle, who hates monotony, had thi
q time arranged quite a different plan c
campaign.
d Tea was sent in for them in tn
study and Constance (though for tha
matter all of us, but Constance. espe
cially), for obvious reasons was ker
ts out OF the way as much as possible.
However, we Cleaned a good de;
about Mr.. Robin from George, who ha
not wasted the opportunities afforde
n by a ten miles drive.
II Hes a bounder," said George, IAN
can't possibly do. His chief reason If
replying to the advertisement was thu
he might live in a rectory."
Mother - poor mother said 81
sc hoped he had been vaccinated an
wished she had not given him the be,
spare room.
II. The atmosphere seemed charge
with possibilities, and we wondere
et how long Uncle Bertram would kee
him bottled up in the study. After
x time our patience and curiosity we
relieved, fer when uncle came to us
saw by his face that the mans ia
was decreed; and although We we
"a sorry for him at first, all pity left
when, at the evening meal, he said:
wonder If | might have a drop
lie Irish'?" Visions Of temperance NEE
tb Ings came TO our minds, and we kick
ad each other under the table. There
b. nothing more to chronicle about M
pt Robin. He, too, left by the early NOR
ed Ing train, after squeezing Constance
On hand.
| wonder Nebuchadnezzar did
strike at the number Of journeys
II made to and from the station duril
vs. the time uncle was interviewing the
curates.