Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-01-13

AG'Mw
it takes the roof off the house. l don't
reckon my old woman is any better or
any Wuss than any of the rest of 'em,
but she has kept me guessin' most of
the time since we was married. | was
jest a-thinkin' of Sumthin' that hap
pened few years ago, an, bein' she's
gone to bed an won't be listenin', I'll
tell it to yo'.
In them days." continued the old
man as he gave the fire last poke and
dropped the poker, ''if she got cantan-
kerous l got cantankerous too Then
we'd go as much as a week without
Speakin' to each other She was proud
an wouldn't give in, an so 'twould go.
One mawnin' in gettin' breakfast she
burned her hand, an / laughed at her,
an she got mad. Then l got mad, an
she turned on me with:
"'Zeb White, I'll never speak to yo'
ag'in if l live to be a hundred years
oldr
Nobody keers whether yo' do or
not says |, an with that we both shet
up. Not another word did we say fur
days an days, though we got over bein'
mad an wanted dreffully to make up.
I reckon it had been about two weeks
an l was thinkin' would give in an
speak to her when she put on her bup-
net one AFTERNOON an picked up a bas-
kit. l knowed she was gwine up the
mounting arter chestnuts, an l knowed
thar was a big bar lurkin' about up
thar l wanted to tell her, but she
had her nose stuck up an wouldn't
look at me, an so didn't say nuthin'."
"But you followed her?" / queried.
Eyes, arter awhile l took down my
gun an followed her. l was gwine to
keep an eye on her without her know
In it. I'd seen that bar an knowed he
was whopper an full of fight l
trailed along fur a mile or so, an then
[ seed the old woman pickin' chestnuts
jest ahead of me. l had jest noticed
that she was lookin' powerful mad an
had the end of her nose p'inted sky
ward when that bar showed up. She
heard him trampin' over the leaves an
called out:
'''Mebbe yO' hev follePed me, Zeb,
to make up, but I'm mad from top to
bottom an don't keer to talk to yo''
81 was nigh choked with laughin',
when that bar suddenly slid in an
fetched her a cuff which sent her roilin'
ten feet away. She thought it was me,
though the Lord knows 1 wouldn't hev
put hand on her in anger, an she
grabbed fur club an yelled:
"'Zeb White, yo' emery, pesky var
mint, I'll whop yo' till yo' can't crawl
home to pay fur thaty
when she got up an whirled about,
thar stood the bar, an a surpriseder
woman never drawed the breath
life. She thought she was a mile frol
help, with a fight on hand, an fur
mint she looked as if she was gwinf
to run. Then she braced up, spit 0,
her hands, an heard her sayin':
1T amt Zeb, like l thought it was,
but I'll fight yo' just the same. Drat
my hide, l don't low nobody nor nl7th
in to cuff me around that way!
"Then she pitched right in" contin
ued Zcb 'an', durn my buttons, if
wasn't proud of her. If that bar had
ever seen a woman befo' he hadn
seen no SIGH woman as her. If he reck-
oned he had an easy job on hand Il
wasn't long befo' he discovered his mis-
take. The club was stout an heavy,
an the ole woman struck with all her
might. Bimeby the bar got mad an
rushed in on her an fetched her O
swipe which rolled her over, but she
was up ag'in like cat. l reckoned it
was about time to interfere, fur yo'
can't expect a woman to kill a bar
with nuthin' but a club, but as | riz
up over the bushes she sees me an
said:
!" That yo', Zeb White? Who sent
FUR yo'p
" I cum along to see the fun I said.