The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1906-10-12
TALES AND ENDS.
BY ALLEN PAYNE.
WRITTEN FOR THE MIDLAND JOURNAL.

The reason that some folks attend to other
peoples business is that they have no business of
their own.
Gossip is like chewing gum. The more you
chew it the more it will stretch.
Good things are struck only while the iron is
hot.
Some people are always looking for trouble to
snch an extent that they some times actually fall
tut with themselves.
There are men who can travel the world over
and still be unable to find anything but excuses
The person with foul mouth may have made
use of barnyard manure in the cultivation of their
brains.
soft answer turneth away wrath. 1t can also
turn you down.
1t is as hard for a misery millionaire to give up
his money as it would be for him to give up the
ghost.
The more and woman harp on each other
the less they will find life sweet song.
The red nose of the man who browns his
troubles in drink resembles buoy in the sea OF
oblivion.
Men who do not care for themselves do not care
to take care of others.
You may pass muster as to the possession of
rocks but you may not even have sand sufficient
to make plaster to cover up the dents in your
character
Money will often burn hole in your pocket.
but seldom for sweet charity's sake.
woman who gets pin money and then takes
a notion and goes buy buy.
Some men who work by the sweat of their brow
10 10 off
what it produces
Even after your friends have borrowed all your
money you are never left a-loan.
1t goes much harder for some folks to spend
money than to make it.
Women who are gad-abouts need not be sur
prised if their children turn out to be run-abouts
wise head keeps a still in brewery.
Convicted against ones will is of the same opin-
ion still.
Don't Count your daughters before they are
matched.
It's seldom a tin-smith goes up the spout. His
business seems to be sort of wind-tall
The regulations of some men are like the hair
on their heads, pretty thin in some places.
Folks who poke their noses where they have no
business should not complain when they smell
something rotten.
People who fail to 'lay" up for a rainy day
always have an eggs cuse for not doing so.
THE FIRST TWELVE MONTHS OF MARRIED
LIFE.
The first is the month of honey
As happy as the bees;
The second is sugar lump,
Sweet months of life are these;
The third is as OF angel cake,
As light misty foam;
The fourth is like the ginger bread,
We used to have at home
The fifth is not unlike pretzel,
Sprinkled with some salt;
The sixth is but biscuit,
With which to find the fault;
The seventh is naught but dough cake,
Its sides little brown;
The eighth is but a sap,jack,
Too hot to gobble down;
The ninth we wished for doughnuts
Pulled up in floating grease;
The tenth drops down to sour balls,
The family has increased;
The eleventh is made up of pickles,
In which our troubles lurk;
The Twelfth is-Oh thunder
It's work, WORK, WORK.
Wife lat the top of the stairs, hubby enters
the door at a. m.)-"You're pretty boy'
Hubby-"How goot-hc-of you Great minds
aIways-hic-thnk alike. My mother-hic-used
to often-hic-tell me that"
The more bad habits person forms the more
in the opinion of DR.. Osler they should De
chloroformed.
Men of brains often break in while brainless
tops usually butt-in.
When girl is sweet enough to melt she has no
trouble in drawing the bees.
clear conscience seldom makes man see
stars.
A WORKOUT SLOUGH hat on a gentleman is far
more becoming than crown on fool.