The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-09-11
APOSTLE SMOOT
AND WISE GUY
Senator Details Revelation as
to Democratic Candidate
for Congress.
"0RLAND0 is THE MAN"
"0RLAND0 IS THE MAN"
Conference Between Apostolic
Boss and Faithful Members
of Church Democracy.

"Say," said the Wise Guy, eff
you II heel me to a highball, I'll wise
you up to Smoot' s latest Congressional
dope. He's been in labor with it for
a week or more, but he didn't give it
out till about Q clock this morning,
when he gets me and a few more Of
the faithful together up in the tithing
house and then and there becomes the
fond mother Of the greatest political
scheme Of his career. There was me
and Fisher Harris and Bill Dale and
Brig. Roberts and Bob Sloan and Tom
my Williams and Scotty Rankin. We
waited awhile for Henry Peery and
Matt Thomas, a-rushin' the can in the
meantime, at the suggestion Of Reed,
who knows how to meller up bunch
o. the unwashed; but them gents didn t
show up and the Provo statesman had
to unfold his mighty plan without 'em,
Apostle Speaks to Gathering.
Gents, says Reed, a-pintin' in
dex finger straight at the right eye of
ole Brig. and a-slippin Fisher another
to call together the brains, the bone,
the sinew and the nerve (a-meanin no
reflection and a-insinuatin' no discs
teem) Of the great Democratic organi-
zation o. this here town for the pur-
pose Of payin' you n debt of gratitude
I've long owed. They amt no use o.
goin into no details as to the character
of the services you gents, personally and
collectively, has rendered to me and
o gratitude. Me and you and the
Most High knows all about it and it
amt nobody else's business.
netai1c IJis Reuelation
+" Now, gents, the great apostle
to get a Democratic Congressman in
the next National Legislature. | we
thought the whole thing out by myself,
if we say nothin' of a mild revelation
that descended on me one blustery
night about a week ago To tell the
truth, WASH It expectin' nothin' at the
time and was n-passin a restless night
over things In general, when, all of
sudden, wee small voice comes a-foat-
as plain as plain can be: HORLANDO
IS THE MAN. ORLANDO is THE
'i Gents, say to you that they
ain It no use monkeyin' with revela-
tion. The still, small voice is onto
its graft in politics as well as in the
higher and purer paths of prophesy.
Take my tip, gents, and make Orlando
w. Powers your candidate for Con
gress. They amt no man in Utah got
a look in with him. He s the bright and
shinin' light of the Democracy. Don t
put Howell next that I put you on to
this. I've got a grudge agin him and
want to see him skinned.
Audience Deeply Impressed.
"The crowd was deeply impressed
with this secondhand revelation and as
they dispersed ole Reed beckoned me
over into the shadder of the Temple
and says to me, with sort of gurgle
in his neck, 'Wisey,' says he, look at
them galoots a-eatin up that dope o.
mine. They re simply a-swallerin' it
without chawin'. If there was ever
easy bunch o suckers, them them,
You know that Powers is the easiest
man in Utah for me to beat with How
ell, and, if l can induce these gazabers
to put Orlando on their ticket. l II SIM
ply mop the earth with him The goin'
over we gave him two years ago won't
be a marker to what we ii hand him,
if we can only get him put up where
we can get at him, Keep this real dope
buried deep down in your innermost
soul, Wisey, for, on my word as an
apostle, you re the only man can
trust, -