davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
e NIB arrassino.

One fault of a certain extremely
popular general is that he, being
rather deaf, is apt to come to wrong
conclusions.
Returning from a campaign, one
of the first men to greet him was an
old acquaintance, "Ah, my dear
fellow" said the general, $50 glad
to see you again. Hope you have
prospered and had good fortune
these years"
"les, general, yes; but | have had
the great misfortune to lose my wife
since saw YOU"
Catching the word "wife," the
other guessed at the idea of a re-
cent marriage, and, patting his old
friend atfectionately on the shout
der, he exclaimed:
Happy man! Happy MANI
London Mail.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
CORPULENT HAMLET.
The Melancholy Dane a. Fat ana
seant of Breath"

Few passages have caused more
comment than the words OF the
queen in the fencing scene that
Hamlet Is fat and scant of breath.
For this Mr. Tree read faint aud
scant of breath" Mr.. Tree was not
the first to make the suggestion. II
originated with Mr.. Ii. Wyeth of
Winchester, who proposed II to DIR.
lnglebv, who in turn communicated
it as fine reading TO Mr.. Adds
Wright, who on March 3, 1867, gave
it publicity in Notes and Queries.
The supposition was held ON the au-
thority of Roberts, the player, that
I.owin. who was known to have act
ed Falstaif and King Henry Will
and might consequently have been
supposed to be inclined to corpu-
Icnce. was the or .inal Hamlet. In
this case the use of the word fat
would be Justified and explained.
More recent evidence shows, how
ever, the extreme probability That
Burbadge was the first Hamlet. Bur
badge himself was also stout, and
might thus have justified the en-
plovment Of the word. Mr.. sydney
Lee. in "Dictionary of National BIZ
ography," fayors the notion that
faint" should be read for fat"
Plahwe, in his Hamlet, Prinz
Won Damemark," would substitute
hot" and quotes an earlier line Of
the king speaking of having IA chai-
ice prepared for the comhatants
when they are hot ana dry 70
all this | only answer that fat Is
the reading Of all the folios and
quartoS. The safe and sensible rule
al length adopted in Shakespearcan
criticism is that when sentence has
distinct and conceivable meaning
ii is not to be disturbed by conjec-
ture. Fat" i, Ineligible cnough
and must be left as it stands. 1t Is,
moreover, venture to think, the
very word that Shakespeare inten-
tionally used and is better and more
appropriate than all suggested sub
stitutes.-l .ondOn Spectator.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
Art OF COOKING.
Progress Of Human Race Closely Al
lied to IT,

Progress of Human Race Closely Al
lied to It.
1t NAV well he said that the deyel-
Opment OF the art of cooking is
closely connected with the onward
progress Of the human race. As
'ne prehistoric cave dwcIlcrs knew
nothing of the use to which fire
might be- puL their ga>tronomic
abilities were probably on par
with those OF the beast of prey with
which they competed for their daily
supply OF food. The earliest ma
tons Of whom We possess historic
records recognized the value of
tooda properly prepared, and We
find that the science Of cooking
gradually attained the height of its
development during the reign of the
great Roman emperors Of the Au-
gustlnlan period. We are apt to
look upon the banquets of the old
Roman, rs orgies, and in some de-
gree they undoubtedly were, and vet
We have abundant evidence that the
Romans were cognizant of the fact
that the proper preparation and sea
sonng Of the food contributed in a
large measure to an improved appe-
tIte and better digestion. We
must, therefore, credit Them with Il
knowledge of these physiological ne
cessltles even while condemning
them for their luxurious repasts.
They also realized that a pleasa
frame OF mind had Il great and I'M
portant influence on the digestive
processes and therefore provided
amusements of various kinds dur
ing the meal. The inroads of the
northern barbarians caused the
highly developed arts and sciences
of the Romans-and culinary per-
lection must be included among
them-to be plunged into the long
period Of darkness which marked
lllt iI!luule ayes.
Whatever knowledge we possess
OF their civilization we owe to the
many monastic orders of Europe,
whose members preserved and cult
waited, among other things, the ira
ditlons Of the culinary art until the
RENAISSANCE, in the reign of Louis
NV. Of France and his successors.
The influence Of France on the me-
nus Of the world has continued UNI
lnterruptedly down to the present
day. The prlnci pies of cooking,
speaking Of the latter in general
sense, were Developed bv the early
| Romans IN purely empirical fash
ION. Now they have been made the
subject Of scientific investigation
and found to rest on firm and
sound basis. The Russian phvsiol.
oSlst, Pavlov, has clearly demon
strated in his researches on diges-
ton that the ingestion of substances
with a purely nutrient value does
not sufficiently satisfy the demands
OF the body. Taste and appetite
must also be taken into considera-
ton. These are satisfied only by
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
A Trarle Finish.

4 uaichmau's neglect permitted /"
leak in the great North Ssa dyke, which
, child, finger cuuli have stopped U"
I..,ame a ruiuous break, devastating "''
entire posiucr al Holland. Ia Ike
manner Kenneth Mcls-r, Of Naneehoro'
Ale. permitted lir'lr cold To 60 ana"
,i,-i uuril a tragic finish was cal!
avrrted by DR.. Kings New Discovery
a.. writ.4. ..rhrr- doctors gave me up
To- ii. oi lung Inflammation. caused ny
a neglected cold; hut Dr. Kings Ne"
Discovery saved my lie" Guaranteed
lest cough aud cold cure. at John w
Thurston's drug STORE. 1nc aud - W.
Trial bottle free.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
Thoueht Il Quite REGULAR.

On the morning of the earth
quake d fashionable eastern woman
who was living at the st. Francis
came down to breakfast attired in
her nattiest morning gown. Motto
ing the confusion prevailing, she
asked:
"Why, what's the matter:'
didn't you feel the earth
quake"
"Certainly, but l thought you had
tuch things in San Francisco all the
time. San Francisco Argonaut.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06


Residents in a certain West End
avenue block are surprised at the
suddenly refractory disposition OF
the postman on that beat. Time
was when he obligingly stopped and
delivered letters to persons whom
he met in the street. Nowadays all
such requests are answered with a
stubborn denial About two weeks
ago that neighborhood was thrilled
with news of an elopcment. Upon
investigation it turned out that the
match was made by means of a clan
destine correspondence which was
carried on with the postman' aid.
The Young man and woman in the
case wrote the letters, but the post
man handled at least half of them,
and bv allowing himself to be vince
died into giving them up to the
young woman half a block away
from her own door he prevented her
family from finding out what was
going on. The enraged parents are
now denouncing him for completely
in the scheme, which accounts for
his sudden reformation.-New York
Post,
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
Hl7slIlEIlllsF9,
TIME TABLE
In effect June 81, 1900

Passenger service 1T island r.H
FAST BuUNb IiR.f.
Mail aud passenger GaH ..n.
Mixed q - a. "a. ENrr.- l......
Night rxprr,, l.2n ..
AERIvE From Ih-G
Night express l.ru a.m.
Mixed 2.30 =. IN. ENpn-., .aUr.
Mail and passenger ,.sHH...
wF~T HuUNh IIAEf.
Mail and passenger 1.lsa.m.
Express l.iOp. N. Nighlra. -lNar.
ARRIVE FROM N.-I.
Night TX. llna.n. LApr.-- .-sH..
Mail and passenger q la..m.
q Express trains rm ll.r. t.--
trans daily except SUNDAY.
JOHN REEVE, AGF>L CIR
ISLAND POND. Va.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
A PuSzler,

1t is not often that a class of
school children is permitted to ex-
anime its teacher, but Glasgow
Pedagogue was so pleased at the way
his pupils answered his questions in
an examination that he told them
they could ask any question they
liked. No one took advantage of
the offer, and the teacher was about
to dismiss the class when he no.
tced one little chap in deep thought.
well, what is it," he asked. Il was
Just about to ask you, sir" replied
the youth, whether, if you were in
soft mud heap up to the neck and
was to throw brick at you, would
you duck 2"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
kLITTLE NONSENSE.
Survivors Story Of Most Remark
ahis k,ssi.


..Tbc most remarkable meal !
ever ate. the man IN the macAifi-
to,h Wss saving, was gwen by g re-
tiring Snowman.
The oniy square meal YOU ever
had. perhaps" suggested the man
with the white spot IN his mus
tache.
How did YOU happen TO get IN
invitation :" asked the man with the
baggv kneed trousers. in order TO
make the number of guests four
teen:"
"IIe had invited lot of u to
partake of little supper" said the
first speaker, paving no attention
TO the Interruptions. "lie SAID there
would be the usual large cold bottle
and small hot bird. When We sat
down at the table and the beverages
were brought on
"What were the beverages :: de
manded the Others. with one voice.
~ small cold bottle of beer at
each plate. And when the cover
was lifted from the dish in the
center of the table we found the
bird to be-
"Well. what was the brd:"
a large. hot. juicy Young ostrich
with enough meat on it for a regi-
ment. give YOU my word, gentle
men
"0h, shucks".
Then they rose a one man ana
elected him. He had told the big
| gest Chicago Tribune.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
M BANDS CELERY REMEDY

Cur-s Constipation. Sick lIea'laeli'' Ner-
,,..,,,,,,. snd al stomach. Kidney a'id
.;y-r ,u,ul.l.-s. q removes al Impurities
from the hlooi. drives sSsN Ilmp'~N'
l,laiclrs oT ann kin -r"i 10
tinp aai I.'od"c-s so"i h'-al'h sud q
t-antifsl competition. - aud - orhis-
SAMPLES free. John W. IhuTSlon.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
HALF SUTRo LIBRARY SAVED.

The Montgomery block escaped
unseathed from the fire that aelaz-
tailed the surrounding proper s'd
that fact saved TO tine Su'r" h,-s-
$4,000 volumes, or onc-ha.i 81 ..r
library Of Adolph Sutro. Alter tIe
death Of Suiro the hhrarr. winch
was one of the finest IN tie l niJed
States. containing many priceless
original editions and quarJo, Of the
early writers. was placed IN STORAGE.
the heir. being undeterlrlHgl a- u
what disposition To make II ~. ua'
portion was stored in a warehouse
on Battery street and vas dc
stroNed.
Among the other rare volumes
contained in the half Of In" library
in the Montgomery block that were
saved were a number of early quar-
Ia editions Of Shakespeare. Il cnl.rr-
ton Of misprint Bible. notably the
vinegar" Bible. the first folio ell
ton of Ben Jonsnn's work. and a
priceless collection of pamphlets ON
the civil war and the Revolutionary
war.
CONTAINED among the books that
were DESTROYED in the Battery street
warehouse were 1000 "black letter
parchment volumes. written hy the
monastery monks and dating from
the second and third centuries mp
to the time Of the invention of
printing. The collection was one
Of the most complete of it, kind IN
the world.-San Francisco Chron-
icle.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
eAUER'S INSTANT COUGH CURE

Has cured more Coughs and Colds than
any remedy known. ltinstantly relieves
the most distressing cough and is guar.
'"tred to cure Bronchitis and Asthma
B""ers Cough Cure always gives salts
faction as Mr. D Greenman, druggist Of
New Harmony, Pa, says: "Yorr
remedies have given the very hest salts
faction to all who have used them, and
especially aler's Instant Cough Cure
| look tor larger sales on them in the
future. de not want to be ont of them
ana VIII order before my stock runs
d""n too low tiet free sample and
prove what 1t will do for you For sale
ny John w. Thurston, druggist.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
eoira "oat" to Dinner.

A Philadelphia business man had
as guest friend from Toledo, an eN-
tremely busy individual, little IA
miliar with the social graces. for
the first evening Of his stay a dinner
party had been arranged. The host
ess had provided u most attractive
Young woman for the Toledo man,
and it was thought that he would
take a desperate fancy to her, which,
indeed. lac did. When the guests
had gathered and we're ready TO 20
out the host, with his politest bow,
said, Mr.. Blank, will YOU please
take Miss Dash odt to dinner
Certainly" responded the Toledo
nan. with ala,rlW, but | under
stood that We were to have dinner
here in the house. -Argonaut.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06

The recent criticism Of the Tailor
and Cutter regarding the seams and
buttons in a portrait Of Lord Rob
erts and the rural criticism OF the
OK driver in a picture in the Iowa
capitol recall the expert objection
to Turner's painting Of a locomo-
tive. A correspondent Of a London
paper who saw the picture in 1915
tells us how a friend took him to
see it, pointing its beauties. But
the railway expert cried at once,
"Why, the train is running on the
wrong track :"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06

An Australian town near Mel
bourne had a strange visitation. An
army of frogs probably from near
by morass swarmed into the town.
They covered the roads and got into
the houses, whence the household
ers had to sweep them or shovel
them. The episode caused some
what of scare in the minds Of the
superstiuous. and some of the old
folk declared the end Of the world
was at hand. The invasion, how
ever, finally passed on to some more
congeniaI home to sing its chorus
of "Brek- kick -kek-k ek koax,' which
Aristophanes has put into their
mouths.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06

In a Photographic establishment
worthy rustic presented himself
to the lady assistant. She ushered
him to the dressing room to prepare
his toilet This operation appear
ing to take considerable time, she
gently tapped at the door. Getting
no response, she entered and found
the swain seated before the looking
glass in most striking attitude.
He anxiously inquired, as a tyek-
ken yet, num-" - London Tele-
graph.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06

While fishing in the lake at Ger
admer (Vosges) recently man
caught large pike weighing about
thirty pounds, which was suisse
quently sold to the proprietor of a
hotel. In preparing the fish for the
table the cook found purse con-
tanning 60 inside, and this was aft
erward identified by one of the
guests at the hotel, says the Radical,
who a few days before had dropped
it into the lake.-London Chronicle.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
CRUISING For SALVAGE.

One man in New York says he
makes good living by what he
calls cruising for salvage. He goes
about in an automobile and follows
novices trying to operate recently
purchased machines. If the ma
chimes break down or stop he
comes up in time to offer his serv-
ices as a tug or to offer about half
the value of the machine if the own
er is so Disguised that he wishes to
sell
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
Where IMAGINATION Told.

Newitt-Thcy say that the per-
son with a strong Imagination has
absolutely no head for figures.
Marryat - Don't YOU believe it.
When my wife gets her Imagination
at work upon her age she can make
arithmetic look sick.-Philadelphia
Press.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06

Ashlem-What was the cause OF
the Finders separation:
Arnsdale - A misunderstanding
before their marriage. He told her
he was earning $50 a week, and she
thought he meant he was getting
that amouht.-Woman's Home Com
panion.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
Pie sed.

"What did the teacher say about
your essay asked Mrs. McGudley.
"lle said it was Pathological" an
swered the girl graduate.
Gracious me. To think of your
dom anything like that almost the
first time tryn'w = Washington
Star.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
A Court of Law.

A new definition Of law was given
recently by negro in court. This
man, witness, was roaring out his
testimony.
stop" the judge commanded.
Don't you know you're in court ?"
~ a-a-as'r," replied the negro.
"Well, don't you know what
court is?"
"Oh-h-h. ya-a-as'r." sad the old
fellow, with bow. "Na-a-as'r: a
cot is a place whah dey dispenses
with justicew
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06

Mifkins-What did he say when
you called him hog for taking up
two seats in the car?
Bilkins-Oh, he grunted some
thing IN reply, but | could see the.
he was bristling with indignation"
Chicago News.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
Now They Don't Sneak

Clara-Don't be surprised if vii
lie Saplelgh proposes to you to
night. )
Maude-Gracious. Do you think
he will?
Clara-Sure | do. When ! re
fused him last night he said he
didn't care what became of him.
New Orleans Times Democrat.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
No Lobster.

The Man-And did they serve
Holsters at the banquet?
The Maid-No; there wasn't a
single after dinner speaker.-Pick
Me Up.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
No Harm In That,

"She declares she was never
sfraid to tell what her age was"
quite so. No woman is ever
afraid to tell what her age was. >
Minneapolis Journal.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
The One Essential.

"The venture doesn't seem to he
panning out quite as well as 1t
might" remarked the first schemier.
"No." the other admitted. "Thcre
is only one way that We can meet
success in this thing"
And what's that
"Ayoid meeting our creditors. -
Catholic Standard and Times.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06
8auer's Laxyne Quinine Tablets !

The best remedy for Colds, Headache
md Grippe. Guaranteed to cure or
money refunded. Price 20 cents at John
", Ihurston's drug store.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-07-06

Gerald am cast for the part Of
the fool in the new play our dra-
matte society Is to give.
Geraldine-lou'll make hit all
right.-Pueblo Chieftain.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-12-14
DEDICATION OF THE
NEW ADVENT CHURCH

The dedication services of the new Ad-
vent Free church on Althea street, be-
tween Cranston and Dexter streets, will
he held next Sunday. The following will
Ice the order OF exercises:
9;3Q Sunday-Meeting OF devotion; 1880.
opening sermon by pastor, Rev william
Dixon, on "Tho Great Commission: II: rs
Elble school; 3, dedication services, SER
mon by Rev. j. Morgan Reed, ID. D., pas
tor OF First NJ f.. church. Trenton. n. j. :;
responsive exercise by pastor and the con-
gregation: dedicatory prayer by Rev j.
Herbert Yeoman, pastor Free Congrega-
t!onal church: music by the Geibel quar-
tet and violin solo by +. Henry Millett:
$50. social meeting Y. =. L., conducted
by Brother Olin Conner: 7:3O, vocal and
Instrumental praise service. conducted by
F. G. Nicholas; sermon by Rev. J, Nor
gan Reed ID. n.
on Monday at p. m, there will be held
meeting for parents and children WITH
addresses by Rev. j. Il. Cooper. ID. D.
and Mrs. Caesar Misch and at 73O a
meeting for Christian workers OF all de-
At 1880 p. m. on Thursday jubilee ser
vices will be held, at which the pastor
viii be assisted by Rev. r. =. Edwards
% Brdgton. -----
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-12-14
WOMAN 5 CLUB
IS ADDRESSED
BY FR. PAROOW

AT La Sale Academy hall last evening
the Catholic Woman's club was addressed
by Rev. William O'Brien Pardow ). j.
Of 81. Joseph's college. Philadelphia. on
TThe Bible Today"
Mrs. Bernard McCabe president of the
club. said the club had long intended TO
bring Rev. FIR. Pardow 20 this city under
the auspices Of the club, and II was a
great satisfaction TO present such dis
tinguished scholar
Rev. Or. Pardow dwelt upon the fact
that the world today is curious. and
things that were once considered closed
are again brought up for consideration.
lHe declared that the spirit OF inVestiga-
ftion shows that old prejudice Is
dying out. especially I'm the recognition
OF the Catholic faith everywhere. Protest
ants have come 10 recognize the true
through its monks and nuns, preserved
the Bible years before the first date OF
printing In 1893.
The speaker considered the ruling power
in this recognition to be that of educa-
ton, and quoted many prominent Pro
testant scholars. who declare In their
writings that the world owes 10 the
Catholic church the preservation OF the
Bible.
The Bible today IS the same Bible that
was preserved through the centuries by
the monks and nuns, he said, and Is the
Bible that will continue TO the end.
Among the guests were Fr. Bowling,
FIR Gillian. Hon. L. j. Mccarthy, Judge
Brady. Thomas A O'Gorman, DIR. NJ. h.
G, Woodbury. German, Patrick Clarke,
James O'Malley, Mr.. Coutanehe, Mr..
McGlinchey. William Forrestal and AL
bert w. Mccain.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-12-14

dent. Il. j.. Cartwright, was presented
with handsome gold-mounted fountain
pen, and following this there was a social
season, which included a program OF mu-
sic ana speaking.
ASSOCIATED CHARITIES.
A committee from the Associated Chari-
Ties has recently been considering the idea
or giving employment to a district nurse,
ana at the next meeting of that organi-
zation 10 will be recommended that this
nurse be employed Experience has shown
that this Is an excellent method OF dis
bursting charity, for through this means
II VIII be possible 20 give 10 deserving
cases the benefits OF trained nursing.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-12-14
School Girl Missing

Since Sarah Glynn, aged II. left hei
home at 800 Valley street yesterday after
noon 10 20 20 the Academy avenue school.
she has not returned, and her parents
notified the police % the Sixth station.
The girl appears 20 be about IS years of
age. and wore a blue-miNed skirt. long
gray coat, and blue and red Tam-o'-
Shanter hat
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-12-14
At the Shepard Company

The piano department OF the Shepard
company are Offering the Kohler and
Campbell pianos for s195 and 1925. a most
attractive price, and certainly would
make a magnificent Christmas gift
In connection with their offer they
give the advantage OF easy terms OF s.
down and 81 per month, which places the
instrument well within the financial reach
of all. They are also carrying the Mer-
rill, Crown. Mehlin and the celebrated
knabe pianos, any Of which would be "A
gift that the average woman would sin
cnrplN nnnrnriatn.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-12-14
Reelected Lieutenants

Company u. First regiment, last evening
reelected the two lieutenants III. A. Cros-
by and G. l.. ID. Wells. col. Frank w
Matteson, presided over the eectinon and
complimented the men upon the showing
they had made during the past season on
the rife range. Capt. w. T.. Harrington
was also present.
The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-12-14
Two Petty Thefts

Samuel Newberger OF 26S Atwels ave-
rue, reports clothing 10 the value OF s.
stolen from his store last evening
a gold watch valued at $25 was stuler.
from the room OF Theodore Ernest OF Il
South street last evening.