Osage County Volksblatt. (Westphalia, Mo.) 1896-1917, 1906-01-04

Abroad were first given TO us. On De
cember 5th he was the guest OF honor
at dinner In New York, TO celebrate
his seventieth birthday. The guests
We're confined closely TO writers
OF imaginative literature, and about
l70 authors were present, nearly haif
Of them women. Every guest received
as souvenir bust Of Mark Twain,
half-life size. Naturally Mr. Clemens
was the principal speaker: he took as
his text. How to get TO be seventy
and not mind it." He said
"The seventeen birthday, 1t Is the
time Of life when you arrive at a new
and awful dignity: when you may
throw aside the decent reserves which
have oppressed you for a generation.
and stand unafrald and nabashed
upon your seven-terraced summit and
look down and teach-unrebuked. You
can tell the world how you got there.
1t Is what they all do. You shall never
get tired Of telling by what delicate
arts and deep moraliiies you climbed
up TO that great place. You will ex-
plain the process and dwell ON the par
ticulars with scnlle rapture. nave
been anxious 10 explain my own sys-
tenn for Ion. time and now AT last
l have the right.
Regularly Irregular.
II have achieved my seventy years
in the usual way-by sticking strictly
TO scheme of my life which would
Kill anybody else, Ii sounds like an ex
aggeration, but that is really the cont
mon rule for attaining Ia old age.
We have no permanent habits uutI
we are forty, Then they begin 10 har-
den, presently they petrity, then busi,
neSs begins Since forty have heen
regular about going 10 bed aud getting
M. and that is one of the main things.
| have made it rule to 80 10 bed
when theee wasn't anybody left To sit
,ip with. ana | have made IL a rule to
get up when hal to. This has result
ed in an unswervinG regularity ef II
regularity.
In the matter Of dict-which IS
another main thinC-l have been per.
sIsteutly strict In sticking 10 the things
which didn't agree with me until one
or the other Of us got the best Of H.
uutil lately got the best Of IL myself.
But last spring I stopped frohcking
with mincr pie s;;..c-- midntehti w 10
then had always believed Il wasn't
los led. For thirty years have taken
coffee ard bread at 5 In the morning
and no bite nor sup unit! 100 In the
evening,
Il have made II rule never 10
smoke morc than ohe cigar at time,
have no other restriction as rsgarSis
smoking do not know Just when !
lsegan to smoke, ! only know that II
was Ia my fathers lifetime. aud that
| was indiscreet lie passed from this
life early In iS47, when | was shade
past eleven ever since then have
smoked publicly, As an example 10
others and not that care for moder-
alton myself. II has always been my
rule never 10 smoke when asleep and
never 10 refrain when awake.
AS for drinking, | have no rule
about that When the others drinA |
like 10 help: otherwise ! remain dry,
by habit and preference. This dry
ness does not hurt me, but II could
easily hurt you. because you are
different You let II alone.
First Standard Oil Trust.
"Since was seven years old | have
seldom taken dose of medicine and
have still more seldom needed one.
But up to seven l lived exclusively on
aIiopathlc medicines, Not that need
ed them, for | don't think did: bu, II
was for economy. Ny father took q
drug store for debt. and II made cod
liver oil cheaper than the other break
fast foods. | was the frst Standard
oil srrust. had II all BY the time
the Eirug store was exhausted my
heakh was established. and there has
nevr been much the. matter with me
stncA E
Il hse never taken any exercise. ex-
eept sleeping and resting, and ] never