Evening star., 1906-09-08
HAVE NO UPPER TEETH

A pair OF powerfully stubborn men.
friends Of old standing, met on Labor day.
They came together IN a refreshment ba-
zaar at a table in an alcove, and touched
the button summoning the Ganymede quite
often, and talked things over most ami
cably until the subject Of sheep came up.
One Of these square-jawed. stubborn men
had put in a part Of his vacation on a farm
somewhere up In Maryland and he learned
q lot of things up there about farm critters
and such like that he'd never known be-
fore. And so. when he met his old friend,
he felt like airing some Of this information
when the conversation in the aicove Jagged
q bit.
Say" he said to his friend at that stage
Of 1t. g 'iS queer thing about sheep, isn't
What's queer about sheep?" asked the
other
Found 1t out up at that old farm where
was stoppong." said the man with the
sheep haven't got any upper teeth at ALL
The other man gazed at the narrator of
this peculiar fact with amazement, and
then incredulity, and then disgust.
"Aw. come on. he growled after the
teeth? Aw. c'moff''
Pact though" said the man who'd vaca-
tionized on the farm. Mary an upper
COOtn IN the neaQ OF any 6neep.
"Whatchoo givin' us?" grouched the other.
Don't try to tell me such rot. OF course,
sheep have got upper teeth. Can't tell me
such tommyrot as that I know different"
"Betcha," said the man who claimed to
know from observation.
Jaw, bet nothing" growled the incredu-
lous one. might as well try to bet me the
sun never shone. How the dickens 'ud
sheep chew their grub IL they didn't have
any upper teetch? C'moff."
ho
got 1t on you there all right podner. They
haven't any, and that's all there is about
it."
They chewed and chawed and munched in
such fashion for about half an hour. and
they called over half dozen friends of
theirs dropping in at the bar to put that
sheep's teeth question to them, and some OF
the friends held that sheep didn't have
teeth. and others that they did, and whole
lot of rounds of drinks were bought while
the thing was being argued over, and the
proprietor Of the rumorium looked happy.
only one way Of getting this thing
didn't believe In the no-teeth statement,
and that's to go somewhere and find some
sheep and look EN- over. I'll never believe
1t till you show me, that's all"
This suggestion was perfectly agreeable
to the stubborn man who had made the
statement.
So they went out Of the booze plant and
hailed cab and made the rounds of half q
dozen butchers plants. But, it being hol-
iday. all Of these institutions were closed
up. and they got no action on their inves-
tigation. They were pretty we'll picked by
this time. for they stopped at a lot Of places
that weren't butchers plants along the
route.
WELL" said the incredulous one when 1t
was seen that they wouldn't be able to cor
raj any sheep in Washington, well have
to go to some place where there are sheep,
that's ALL"
I'm there" said the man who has va
cationized on the farm, and they went to
the Pennsylvania station and got there just
in time to make a local train for points In
Virginia.
From that time on the story becomes
somewhat hazy with the telIers of It. They
poked their heads out Of the window at
every stop Of the train, 1t seems, and In
quired of people on the platforms if there
were any sheep around there that would be
willing to open their mouths and show
whether they had any teeth or not, but
they didn't appear to get any satisfactory
replies to these questions that they could
remember.
They got of the train after about two
hours at a little tank station and found out
from the station keeper that there wasn't q
sheep within fourteen miles Of the station.
and they had to fight flies and mosquitoes
and go without drink for six hours be-
ington, and they got back here after mid
night after all OF the places they knew
about were closed. and they had to crawl,
sOiled and weary and dusty and miserable,
into a street car and sink, drinkless, of
to their homes, to take the lecturing Of
their wives, all on account OF the upper
teeth of sheep. when. as simple matter of
fact, as Mrs. Harris would say. "they amt
no sich thing" as Sleeps upper teeth. after
all.