The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-07

And do you mean to say that you
never meant to build the veranda?"
I have no lou Ot that 1 meant il at
Re moment, but whan arose next
97ernin6 the IDEA had slipped my mini
entirely. Logis teaches US that the man
who gets overcome Will promise any
thing you ask and forget it all in TWEEN
ty-four hours. Let US now turn o
philosophy
I won't do it. THIS is the meanest
thing ever heard of
AS I said, we viii now turn TO Phi
ic-ophy. Suppose had lot been in a
hilarious state. Suppose I had sobeTly
promised you the veranda2 The sort
Of veranda I should wart t. build wo~ld
cost $3.50. The Workmer would upset
our peaceful routine for month. One
II them might IAN from, II ; roof ard
Re killed. AMI then Wen ID follow an IN
uuest and mc-s trouble. The house is
nHder NOR gage ana I -aay never be
able to pay Off Why give the former
wner $3.50 aaore2 I am OWING a num-
~ of bills around town. AZ long as my
reditors know that I am hard up they
von't press me, but let a carpenter
tart work here tomorrow and next day
veuld bring me half 4 dozen dunning
e5ters?"
Always some excuse observed
1rs. Perkins. as she trotted her foot
in an angry way.
we will say the veranda is built and
pay off the mortgage. The roof of it
is almost as high as our bedroom win
dows. Some night when we are at
dinner a porch climber swarms up one
of the columns, enters our room, and
before we have suspicioned his pres
ence he has gathered up all your dia-
monds and made his escape It is
only philosophy that where there are
porches there will be climbers
Diamonds It would take a dozen
nnTPh elm hers find 2 diamond
around this house"
Perhaps you are right, dear. but
was only Illustrating. We will say that
the climber does not come to climb
You and I are sitting out there some
hot evening in summer. Mrs. Thomp-
son comes along and stops to ask if
you are going to do up any huckleber-
ries- GU naturally arise and advance
to the railing to reply that you are.
You lean against 1t too heavily-there
is q crash=a screa na-the sound of a
human body striking the ground. Mrs
Thompson lets go of the huckleberry
question and faints away and falls
down, and 1 leisurely descend the steps
to find you dead. The fall has broken
your neck"
Then you could get third Wife"
snapped Mrs. Perkins.
Il could, my dear-I could, and I
should: but look at the trouble that
veranda would have caused. There
would be an inquest, a funeral the
waiting for year There would be
your tom bstOne, several months Of
courtship and the expenses of bridal
tour. l should wish to visit your grave
every Sunday, as a matter of course,
and should place at least seven pots of
flowers on it in summer. suppose my
third wife should go to the cemetery
and knock those seven pots into seven
bells?"
Mrs. Perkins turned her shoulder on
Inn too indignant for speech, and after
a bit he continued:
Suppose there was no huckleberry
talk between you and Mrs Thompson
and no accident happened to you Your
sister Mary is coming from Dakota
next summer to visit us She is built on
large and generous lines and is near
sighted. She comes out on the veranda
to commune with Nature or to gel a
1 few whiffs at her clay pipe. She sees
my old hat on the floor and takes II
/ for a rocking chair and sits down. Sle
/ sits on the floor. The floor gives way
/ and she is engulfed, and her spirit IS
/ among the angels before you know any
/ thing about it. s-sobs-inquest-
/ funeral You would probably say that
! T was all to blame, because 1 left my
old hat there, and we might quarrel and
/ separate If we did, you could get no
/ alimony. but would have to go out to
/ days work"
Mrs. Perkins eyes were filed with
I tears but they were those Of vexation,
and she refused to comment
''I tell you, my DEAR he continued
when man sets out to build q. veran-
da on the east side Of his house there
are various things to consider. It isn't a
matter of rushing off to an architect OF
buying lumber. Just what proportion OF
crime and accident the verandas Of
America are responsible for, I cannot
say just this minute. but I shouldn't al
all wonder if it was at least twenty pei
cent Have We as law-abiding people
any right to increase that percentage
There could be more said. Our YER
anda might be struck by lightning; q
gale might blow it down and kill a
pedestrian and be sued for $4,000 dan-
ages. I think have heard it said that
verandas draw cats. and that cats dis
] seminate epidenics. I don't say that