Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1906-07-23
Short Stories
II
Vacation Time.

. -, 11snna,,iaye on noble, she IL gong 10
fG %, I'm, mountains Jane has gone to
While FEATHER father. poor old father, he is going
to the bank ...,aa on, tho
TO try and raise MOI 's"6' =" INV
home. Il
R,b's going to some gay place where the
summer maid aboundS, ,.
And Zen is going out TO sunny 1rfS,.
rr,m,s mn in DID New England, where
he's following the NOUNS, ,o
Ana 10 Long Branch Ray IS gong Tor /
rest c,a,,oo.,r ,,,h.r,
FRANKS going down to Gloucester. where |
the shad is on the plank,
Elovd.s pning where the wavel"ts pun
and roam ., l., !, ,r,i,n
But father, poor old Idthei' liz 10 t''''h W
To try and raise a mortgage on the
home. T. u pitzer
Two gentlemen were travelling in one
of the hili counties of Kentucky bound on
an exploration for pitch pine. Ihey had
been driving for two hours without en-
connterjrg 4 human being, when they
came in sight of cabin in clearing. IL
was very still The hogs lay where they
had fallen, the thin clay bank mule
grazed round and round IN Eedt eiIcie
lean. lank man, whose garments We're the
color of the clay bank mule. leaned
AGAINST tree and let time roll e 1!ia one
Nv ondcr if he can speak said oHe
traveller to the other
Try him." said his companion.
The two approached the man, whose
ycllowish eyes regarded them Without APP
parent curiosity.
How do YOU do?" said the nOrtherner.
"UoWdy," remarked the southerner Ian
glidly.
Fur them tibet likes it." @ rs
..I.iyed here all your lfe!'
The soutferner spat pensiveiy In me
dust.
yery matter Of fact Scotchman called
to see a neighbor, an old lr1shWoman,
who had been aihng for some time when
the door:
And how do you find yourself today
Rrid@et?"
This Stacking weather'll be the end of
me- I'll be a dead woman before long
..Hoots tcots woman. we've been say
ing that for the last twenty years: ~
mind Fin a day for Yer deelng ana
stick tae it,
This story has found its way TO Wash
ington from the north: President Roose-
tor Knox of PENNSYLVANIA. asked the
senator what he thought OF the appoint
ment of Charles j. Bonaparte to place
in the cabinet.
You have heard of the man McGin-
MIS-" replied Mr. Knox, who kept a SIT
loon and lived with his family over the,
saloon. One day his bartender shouted
~. MEG INNS, shall 1 thrust. Tim oLeary
w i he had the drink called back
McGnnis.
Ike has
"'Thin thrust him.
Champ Clark relates many instances Of
the grim h,lmor that was 50 proplnent 4
| chart cteristic of the late Senator Vest
OF Missouri. He tells how. during one OF
Vests campaisn tours in the early *s. II
| nieht in the town OF st. Charles. The
b, st hosiery the prince afforded w;tS
poor enough, and at breakfast Vest was
especially put out by the stun that was
| placed before HIM for coffee.
After having sampled the beverage.
Vest. with a frown, called for the pro-
| pretor. When the individual had APP
peared the Senator asked with wave
of his hand toward the offending liquid
smoking innocently before him:
| ''Sir, what is this Stuff?'
| Coffee" meekly replied the proprietor.
s"me nha taken .ken,i nbae Kcst n 80 scorn
MY friend, I could insert a coffee bean
in my mouth. dive INTO n, :
River, swim to the town Of Alton, Ill.
much better coffee than this, sir. over the
/ entire rOute!"
Joseph jefferson was suddenly taken
i i'll once while visiting at the home of a
| friend. The wife of the friend whose
| hospitality he had enjoyed became
| alarmed over his condition and, being of
a religious turn of mind, wished to ill.,
| still in the mind of the actor her belief
| in the necessity for spiritual contempli-
tion. call to his room for the purpose
lrrt,, ~,
MIR Jefferson.' she said nervously
shifting the pOultice from one hand TO
the other, for your sake. for the sake of
your friends, your family. II would like
to pray for you"
| The actor listened attentively. and his
answer came slowly. Yes. madam, he
said. you may-fOr my sake for your
heavens sake put on that poultice!'
DIR. Anita Newcomb MCGEE. who took a
party of ten Red Cross nurses to Japan.
| was talking in Philadelphia about the
| perils of war nursing.
II wish heartily" said DIR. MCGEE that
soldiers could shoot no better than my
| cousin"
She paused, smiled and resumed:
My cousin went cunning last fall for
the first time. He bagged nothing: every
home empty handed and therefore he
stopped at grocer's and bought rab-
bit
Good luck he cried to his wife on
his return. Look at the rabbit See
where the bullet went through him.
My cousins wife took hold of the rab-
hit. and at the same time she shifted
grimaced and turned away her head
You We're wise. my dear she said. t,
shoot this rabbit today Tomorrow
would have been too late"
They tell story Of poor Irishmar
} | who reached New Orleans, and as he wa.
stepping from the steamship on the levee
one of our colored fellow-citizens Looked
at poor Pat and addressed him in brogue
Said he. Pat. good morning to you; hav,
Won just come over?' and Pat admitted
that he had in terror saying, say tha
again. say that again" The negro said
, The Irishman said. "Oh! yon don't mea,
to tell me that you are an freshman ?:
: Il am nothing else. but an Irshman,
said this deceitful colored gentlemen
"And as black as that" said the Irish
man. 'As black as that" said he. IAN,
: how long have you been. in America" g
have been in this country. Pat. ahor
three months" Pat turned In Glfsmay +
his wife. and said. ''Biddy. let me TAX
: ore last loving look at your white face
= for look what Won will ha a.