Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1906-12-06
GrGEr

81 wa-ant FIR to ta-alk to ye," said
Policeman Flynn.
Take that out of there or I'll break
IT." exclaimed the contractor.
"Yell br-reak tn shpoke Nv ye-er
wheel II ye-er hor-rse moves" retort-
ed Policeman Flynn. "An' l wa-ant
fr to give We warnin' that tn mkt
time We go scootin' over tn 'crossin' I
may damage mt club, but ye-er bug
gy'n go to the ray-pair shop. Now
g'wan an don't be blockin' up tn
r-road."
That settled the contractor, and
thereafter Policeman Flynn was the
autocrat of his crossing. But he had
other troubles, and his methods were
not always those that would be ap-
proved at headquarters, The advice
that he gave On various occasions,
while undoubtedly good, was too sharp
and pointed. A man from the coun-
try secured his attention one day and
told him he had been asked to cash a
check for a stranger who had to catch
q train to go to a sick wife.
"'Twas tn OIL gag iv the confidince
man." said Policeman Flynn in tell
ing about it, but tn felly from tn
country was sorry FIR him, an he says
to me, bein' in a bit iv doubt from all
he'd hear-rd Nv city wa-ays: If you
was me- he says, what w'u'd we dog
An | says to him: If l was YOU l
says, I'D ha-ave a guardeen app'inted
an thin hire a guide An he wint
awa-ay ma-ad.
"But tits tn women gives me tn
most throuble. Ohio! tn women!
Nine out iv livery tin iv thin is lack
in NERVE or ilse sinse. Wan Nv thin
shteps out a fut or two in thin r-runs
back. Thin she thries it wanst more.
an tits up to me FIR to iscoort her
acrost. TIL mkt van ducks her head
an goes like a chicken crossin' a
r-road. 1 caught wan iv that kind
yisterda-ay whin she was %r-runnin'
Fright under a pair iv %prancin'
hor-rses. Dye think ye're a bir-rd?'
says I, that We can shpread ye-er
wings and ma-ake a straight liner
An instid iv thankin' mt she whit
AWAY ma-ad, too"
OF course, in time the fame of Po-
liceman Flynn's methods and COM
ments reached headquarters, owing to
some complaints that were made, and
he was given a quiet reprimand.
"Above all things you must be cour-
teous," he was told, and, with his GUS
tomary desire to master completely
anything that he undertook, he went
out to buy a book on etiquette. This
was his undoing, for it is indeed a wise
man who knows how to utilize the in
formation in such a volume. He fol
lowed the instructions implicitly, and
many a woman wondered at the elab-
o%rateness Of his bow and the tactful
| nature of his reply when he was asked
, to do some absurd thing entirely out
of the line Of his duty; for women are
occasionally unreasonable in their re-
I quests Of the guardians of the law
4 He even kept his temper and acted
1 with creditable discretion when he was
asked to run back a block or two and
! see If he could find the lap-dog a WON.
an had dropped out of her victoria
But the etiquette book was responsible
for his Waterloo, nevertheless, and
t the night he was sent back to patro,
t duty he threw it In the fire before ever
explaining the matter to his wife.
TWAS all along iv thryin' to be pc.
: lite an %tac'ful," he finally explained
whats polite an complimentary tc
I an akel is praysum'tion to a soopeer
yer. Ye see, twas this wa-ay; g
n gir-rl-oh, a fine-lukin' girl iv 10 OF
20-got mixed up bechune two teams
O an was like to be run down whin
n saw her. Twas no time to think iv tn
wa-ay to get her out. Amy wa-ay al
was a good wa-ay, an I %gr-rabbed hel
9 r-round tn waist an carried her tt
wan side. 'Oh, sir she says whin sht
got her breath back, how can l ivel
tha-ank yea 'Ma'am,' says I, liftin
y me helmet an thinkin' Nv tn book OF
manners, til pleasure I says, is al
mine Sir she says, givin' me a hity
tity LUX an shpeakin' cold. 4 will Sc,
y that We are ray-warded.' 'Ma'am,' say
y |, TIL mim'ry iv TIL hayward I've al
y ready had will go with me to tn
gra-ave."
What hayward had We had, Bar
: ney?" inquired Mrs. Flynn.
"She asked me tn sa-ame QUESTION,
. said Policeman Flynn.
IAN what did We sa-ay to herr"
:, II says to her, Ma'am,' I says bow
= in low like tn pictures in tn etiki
book, tits worth more than tn r-ris
: r-run,' I says. 'fr to have had sic
a beautiful bundle In me arms"
CssIMo9 81 udesor "a '9oet luSIIGdoo)
Copyright, by the Century Coz