Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1906-04-20
a CONQUERED COnUuerOr.

Over the fence of his Missouri door
yard Private Humphrey Digges, late
of the 'Steenth Missouri Volunteers.
held review of the passing world
Officially he was waiting to hail the
butcher The butcher was due at 1C
O'Clock that morning, and having re
ceived froEs headquarters orders to
hail him, Private Digges had arisen
at and taken his station on post, to
the exclusion of all other and less wei
come forms Of physical effort. From
this post he saluted a passing bicy-
clist.
Halt and light off, young manr
he said, cheerfully. Its too fine a
day to be travelling so fast"
The young man, nothing loath, lean
ed his wheel against fence and en-
tered into conversation.
1.-THE way you come in said Pr
vate Digges, reminds me of the way
1 marched into Vicksburg forty odd
years ago Ever in Vicksburg, young
man? No? Well, sir, when | went
down there with Sherman | was the
only man in the corps who went
through Chickasaw bottoms and up the
hills. Got so excited going ahead ]
didn't know the army had retreated,
and | was just going to snatch the
Confederate flag off'n their fort uI
there when l noticed the firing had
stopped, and looking round, l see ]
was all alone in a mob of Johnnies.
"Well, sir, 1 hated to come away
then-but l did it. l did it and lived
to be glad of it, for when | went back
into the rear of Vicksburg later, with
Grant, and the general says, Is there
anybody in the army who knows what
the rebel forts looks like inside" J
saws. L do. general and he says
Bully for you, Digges" And so | went
in and told Pemberton what l had
told Grant about his forts, and Penn.
and he surrendered
Grant said if he had an army like
me he'd "a licked the whole Confeder
acy in two weeks.
Come right in, stranger, and stay 6
while. Stay two or three days. just
wait till 1 go in and get the old WON
an. This is my third wife | got now,
and she's the widow of a Confederate
veteran. Better not say anything about
the late unpleasantness, for she's &
mite touchy."
Private Digges ambled into the
house to acquaint his wife with the
fact that there was company for dinner
The young man at the gate heard sud
denly sharp and fast explosions like
the report of rapid-fre gun, and soor
out from the doorway emerged Pri'
vate Digges in full retreat, followed
by his Confederate helpmate.
mo, sir. No. sir! 1 can't have iii
I can't have it!' she spluttered. I'm
sorry to turn you away, young man
but / can't help it. I've got tt
cook. I've got to clean house
I have to go to the barn ana
feed the horses. / have to milk
the COWS. I have to run after the
hens. l have to get the eggs. l have
to look after every last bob and tag
ger on this farm-while that hulking
no-'count 'postle Of liberty sets there
by the gate watching for the butcher
I'm sorry to turn you away. young
man, but l can't do for any extra
Private Digges leaned over the gat(
again confidentially.
81 reckon We'll have to allow thai
what she says goes this time, stran
ger" he said, sadly. "Y'see, the old
woman-well, when Grant said thai
about me and a few others licking
the hull Confederate army, he hadns
met up with some of the Southern
women folks at that time"