The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-10
UNCLE sILAs. HE SAYS.
He Gives Good Advice to ''Widder
Women"

I met Aunt Sally Warner in the dry
goods store the other day, and after
we had said howdydo to each other
she leaned up agin pile of calico and
said:
Uncle silas. you know I have had
three husbands.
4 know it's three or four or five. or
along there somewheres. Pears to me
you spend most of your time getting
married and burying husbands"
The number is only three, and
didn't pizen a single one Of en-. That
is it's only three up to date, but there's
another Teller hanging around. That's
what I want to talk to you about. 1
want some advice
well. what is it? I just advised
Deacon White what to do for a baulky
boss and mebbe can hit your case.
'sSilas." she says in tones of conf
dence, i've made mistakes in my three
marriages and I don't want to make
one in my fourth. don't admit that
there'u be a fourth, but If I should
happen to decide to marry agin don't
want to get taken in. How is wild
der woman to Judge a MANI"
well. now. if was thinking OF
marrying agin which I hain't, as I've
got an old woman and five young uns,
I ia first hunt all around for soft pine
single Then I'd sharpen up my jack
knife and sit down by my lonesome in
some place where no burned hog or
calf was likely to come roofing around
and then I'd white and think and
think and white. Mebbe I'd white
and think for a whole week. but when
got through I'd know that [ was cor
But I can't white"
NO. but you can knit, and that's
Just as good. You want to begin a
! stocking and keep UP your thinking
until you are at least ready to begin
narrowing off for the heel Even If
you have to go clear down to the toe,
/ it won't do any hurt.
What sort of thinking shall I do?'
asks Aunt Sally.
"Do your knitting while a Teller is
sparkling you, and do your thinking
after he has gone. Well say you are
going to marry agin. hold that every
man carries his character with him,
and if you watch him closely you'll see
signs to guide you. woman can
watch better when she's knitting than
any other time. Who is the Teller who
! is sparkling you this timer"
ITS a man named Lemuel Johnston
and he's about so years old
And what have you made up your
mind about him ?"
7 haven't made It up at all. That's
what m asking your advice for
''I see. Well, I'll do the best [ can
/ If I was a wilder woman and a man
come along and appeared to have de
I signs agin me I'd get out my knitting
and watch him as he talked, and Id
/ remember certain things, to-wit, name.
~:
"A man who sits cross-legged mos
of the time is purity certain to be lazy
"A man who stands around with his
hands in his pockets will kick like G
steer If dinner isn't ready on the
mint
THE man who comes counting and
rings in poetry is going to raise a row
after marriage if his wife don't like IA
pork.
'The man who is narrow between
a widder's possessions figured down tC
a cent.
THE man who signs and shakes hi.
head in a mournful way and wishes be
could do more for the heather in Afri
ca is going to keep mighty close tab or
your pin money after marriage.
"A freckled-face man Is generally
contented man, but whether contente6
with his lot or to let his wife builC
the fire in the morning is a thing yol
have got to fnd out later on.
There are men who come counting
who are soft-spoken and move abou
like a cat After marriage they vii
yell at the oxen so as to be heard
mile away and they'll kick in a barr
door if it happens to stick little
THE boisterous man is apt to b.
hearty and good natured. but he vii
wake the baby up every time he Gomez
into the house and let all the famil,
quarrels be known all over the neigh
borhood.
"A man who sits and rubs his hand
and smiles and uses precise Language
is thinking how much tea and coffe
he will allow you to measure out for
drawing after marriage
a scow1 between a mans eve
means concentration Of thought. bu