davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14
solNrEn PARAoaAPHs.

From the Chleaso News
A supreme rest Of friendship Is q
loan
beware 81 the friendly advice q
yopr erlefais
Ishe man sliitid plos "a les
:siTnipresston iIi the world
For shooting the ioFiEhs
fursyou tends this Is the pen sea
There's nothing new under the sun
except methods OF distort4ng the
truth.
[ Things we would like to be thank.
fui for 50 seldom give US the oppoF-
ftnnity.
Love and common sense--but what
has love In common with sense. any
way?
Did you ever hear Of a married man
wasting any sympathy on an old bach
5elor2
people may applaud a kicker at the
start, but they feel like kicking him
Ions hsfnra the s.'eh
Analyze the contents OF your cup of
sorrow and more or less happiness
will be found therein.
"A woman never accuses man OF
fiattery If he praises her for qualities
she knows she doesn't possess
After enjoying days outing in
the country a woman invariably
Keeps her husband awake half the
night telling him about 1t.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14

WITH EVERY PURCHASE, NO
MATTER HOW LARGE OR HOW
SMALL, A CERTIFICATE IS 49,
SUED TO THE PURCHASER FOR
EACH DOLLAR PAID.
THESE CERTIFICATES CAN BE
EXCHANGED AT ANY TIME FOR
ANY ARTlcuElN OUR LIST Asso.
LurELY FREE OF ALE COST FOR
SUCH ARTICLE.
YOU NEED NOT PURCHASE AT
ONE TIME ENOUGH TO ENTlTLE
you TO THE ARTICLE YOU WISH.
LET THE CERTIFICATES AccuMu-
LATE UNTIL THEY hmouT TO
$50. DOLLARS, AND YOU CAN
THEN MAKE YOUR SELECTION,
OR you GAN Let THEM REACH
ANY AMOUNT YOU CHOOSE IN or
DER TO SELECT AN ARTICLE OF
GREATER VALUE.
Upon receipt of the required GER
TIFICATEs we deliver to you at once
and without cost to you for the article
itself, only requiring you to pay the
freight or express, If it is to be-
shipped. We deliver it packed free
at the Railroad or Express Office.
READ THE FOLLOWING RULES.
Rule 1. No certificate issued for less
than one dollar.
Rule 2. Certificates arc not trans
rerahle. They must be used by the
person to whom they were originally
Issued.
Rule 8. A single purchase Of
$780,, or any number of purchases
aggregating s...... ara equally en-
titled to any article.
Rule 4. There is no limit as to the
number of times, or articles, per-
SON may select from the list To have
secured one valuable article is no bar
to the occurring OIL au"t'
Rule s, All certificates win be is
sued in even dollars. Calculation will
be made for the nearest fraction.
Thus, purchase Of $i.sI secures
certificate for $500.
Rule 6. Certificates may be used at
any time within twenty-four hours
from date Of Issue.
Rule z. To entitle a purchaser to
a certificate, the purchase for which
the certificate is issued must be for
cash.
IT requires no argument for our pat
rons ana customers to see the great
benefit to be derived by them UNI
der our plan OF redeeming FREE
these CERTIFICATES. 1t is simply
an EXTRA BENEFIT to our old and !
steady customers and to the Thousands
OF Others who we desire to make our
customers and friends.
our object.
our object in giving our customers |
these certificates is solely to increase
~ .. u. - e. a,a+ rartfas to buy
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14
cHuRcHEs.
eap+Iet.

Rev. r. B. Lawler, pastor Sun.
day school at $3.50 a. M, Mr.. William
IA. Hustead, superintendent; preach.
Ing at 1915 a. M. subject, Justice
to Ar;" 3. Y. p. U. at 7:15 p. m.
Miss Minnie Orr. leader; preaching at
s:15 D. M, subject, "a Great Princt-
pie" Teachers meeting at 1880 Fri
day evening. followed by prayer meet
ing at $3.50. All are cordially invited
to attend these meetings.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14
Diamond street M. e.

Rev. +. w. Roberts. pastor.-sun.
day school at 9ss0 a. M, A. E. VIII
son, superintendent; preaching al
1o:45 a. m. by the pastor; class
meeting at $3.50 p. M; Epworth
League at 2:30 p. M; Epwortll
m. by pastor All are invited.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14
First M. r.

Rev. D. 8. Roggs, pastor.-sunday
school at $3.50 a. M; preaching service
at 1o:45 a. M, by Rev. Auber Hess
OF N1organtown; y. P. s. G. e. att p
m; preaching at s p. M. by Rev
Hess. Come and attend these ser
vices.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14

Advertising IS like pushing wagon
up hill. If you stop pushing YOU vii
go back faster than yon aacenhed
Keep persistently at It Advertising
is accumulative in its enerrs
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14
Dur ch0SGrSS
Read Every Word Of.
fhe FoITowin8 Plan

from US who have never bought hetore
and to make them regular Gus TONERS
at our store and to encoura our
ular customers to continue tos buy
from us and increase their purchases
Making friends Of all:
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14
Minn M. RoekefelIer.

wing wood is the best exercise. !
II. Rockefeller. He knows ta1
have to be oiled. Boston Trans:
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14

We believe the Increase Infhusl
ness we shall receive on ses
count Of our plan in Issuing ana
redeemtng these Purcnase Ger
tltfcates free viii fully repay us
the cost Of the articles We sup
pIy-and you are that much
ahead.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14

don Chambers, the author Of
In swift, ts I'd write g play
We BelisMs
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14
4 one DOLLAR CERTIFICATE,

We wish every person who sees Q
COPY OF this paper to become acauatnt.
ed with our Certificate Plan. we, also,
wish to know OF other persons who
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14
rhe issuing and Registering 81 csF

tifIeates.
Each purchaser buying goods from
us to the amount Of $1.00 or more VIII
receive a certificate for the fun
amount of the purchase, In accord
ance with the above rules. Each Ger
tifcate Is numbered and regtstered ~
the name of the purchaser Of the plirs
the name OF the purchaser. Ger
tiicate is transferable. No lost ceEs
tifcate will be redeemed, but to pro
vide against
Lost Certificates
we have made the following prosi
sions: Any person receiving a certi a.
cate can surrender same at the line
of purchase, or any time tberea
and such surrender win be noted in
the Register Of Certit icntes. The owl
er of such certificate may then How
the certificates to accumulate to any
amount and at any Tina select ny as
ticle in the list, according; to- the price
OF such article. BY this method there
is no danger Of your losing your bene;
fits from lost certificates
Mail orders
are entitled to the certificates the
same as purchases made In the store
The certificates will be mailed gu
promptly. You can select your
from the list and we will pack ZEN
free and ship them to you.
pay is the postage, freight or e5pres
Here to stay.
We have inaugurateh this plan Is,
the FA1REsT TO OUR CUsTpMRs rs
and ourselves that can be fdeyis and
it is here to stay. Hold your certiti7
Gates and get these valuable articles
Our List.
We wish to call the particnlar atf
tention OF our customers and ersolls
contemplating becoming custor
that this list does not begin to Sfaclude
all tae articles we intend xchangisi
free for certificates. we shall a.ld
to it from time to time and an ceFtEf
Gates, no matter when issued. viii pc
received for any article that may ir
future be placed on the list.
THE Articles.
These are not the cheap. inferior
articles so often distribut ted asa
1hese goods are not prizes. They are
all substantially and well ma
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14
Nd Araument REQUIRED.
Our object.

our object in giving our customers J:
these certificates is solely to increase
our business: to get parties to buy
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1906-07-14
The Articles.

These are not the cheap. inferior
articles SO often distributed e pFiEs
These goods are not prizes. They are
all substantially and well mi
selected. and true to descriptio
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-12-18
Third Section
 Pages 2l to 32

Stuffed cats were also new thing q Micawber.
 Venturing on his hunger driven waxs he suddenly became rigid in every limb. He knew that odor. What cat does not? It was . mouse. But where? l
 Again his instinct directed him to the spot. It was on table in tho kitchen, and with n bound he wal there. Yes, here was the hole-two ok them, in fact. Placing his nose down in cat fashion, he discovered which hole the mouse used. Knowing noth- ing of the mysteries of traps and that this particular one had caught 8 small rodent only the night before, he sat down patiently to wait for that mouse to come forth. There the mistress found him when she returned from | hurried call to borrow some extra spoons for the Christmas dinner. Out of her large heart she took pity on tho wandering feline, and he was reward. cd with liberal Christmas helping o1 his own. He was forthwith adopted and settled down to an old and re- spected cathood.
 Only he was not called Micawberj but by the more appropriate, If mors commonplace. name of Tabby. Of his former wanderings and adventures hd told me himself as he purred out hid content and gratitude at Ms new found h0rno
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-12-18
A LOST ILLUSION.
Sadie's santa Claus Was Only JohAe
 ny Smiths Papa.

Sadie's santa Claus Was Only John.
 ny smith's Papa.
 The loss of part of Santa Claus dis- guise at Christmas Sunday school en- tertainment and the consequent dis covery that The was only man after all" caused one little girl at least acute distress.
 Santa Claus was one of the cherished ideals of Sadie's childhood. and Sadie parted with her ideals reluctantly. She was sure she heard the relndeers scam per over the roof every Christmas eve, and the fact that even the gas logs were pretty tight it for the chimney did not dispel the illusion that somehow Santa Claus, despite his corpulence, managed to slip through the tiny slit with his pack and leave presents on tree and in stocking.
 So when she saw on the Sunday school platform his hoary head and beard, fur trimmed coat, fat stomach and short legs-and. above all. his pack -she greeted the familiar figure with enthusiastic applause. Unfortunately for Sadle's peace of mind, however, tho hoary hair and beard became entangled in the branches of the Christmas tree when Santa Claus began to hang up the contents of his pack. and when he withdrew his head. sans hlrsute adorn- ment he revealed the familiar features of prominent churchman. Then the assemblage was startled by desolate wall that suddenly rent the air.
 "Oh." sobbed Sadie, ''there ain't any Santa Claus! He's only Johnny Smiths papav v'-New ynrt P,ass
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-12-18
S0BugIgHNIAg1
BY J. "A .EDGERTONs sGA
COPYRIGHT. i,ss. DY LA EpcERroN

1 many trouncIngs. lie learned to lick everything he could not make love to. He had no morals to speak of and was never troubled by consciesce or altru- ism. When living the simple life he was mild and meek looking and had a voice as gentle and pleading as that of book agent. But when on the war path he was a cyclone and emitted yells that would wake up the block. He was bad man from the mountains and was yearnlng to make the world acquainted with the fact
 Now, there are cats and cats, as you doubtless know. Sometimes there are too many of them, especially at night. Micawber belonged to this overplus. The cats voice when tuned up is not exactly like the music of the spheres. but attracts more attention. When ex. cited by wrath feline language has a diabolic quality that sounds like blas- phemy. So does the language of the man who Is stirred out of his rest thereby. If some Garner could dis cover just what feline small talk means he would doubtless bring to our notice an original and delicious array of swear words that would enrich the language.
 Through long practice Micawber had developed voice that ran all the gamut of hideousness. It scooted through all the scales of discord and embraced all the octaves of inharmony. It was not musical, but penetrating. It was chaotic, criminal and assault provoking. It expressed all that is fiendish and malevolent. It had in 1t the despair and .error of lost soul, the vail of defeated demon. It was a scandal. an outrage and an infamy. The steam siren got all it's sliding scale of diabolism, all It's crescendo of cussed- ness, all its ,switchbacks and shoot the chutes of the infernaiism of sound from the feline voice.
 Yet to regard Micawber's sleepy eyes, his inoffenslve demeanor and bis playful disposition one could not sus- pect him of harboring such sentiments. You would not imagine that under that fuffy and amiable exterior could be rolled up so much noise and depravity -on the outside, inoffensive and guile less docility: on the inside, murder, riot and vice. "Childlike and bland.. like "the heather Chinee." he had un. derneath double portion of the spirit of Beelzebub. That is cat. That was Micawber.
 His life contained other forms of ex. cltement. Once for time he found a haven of refuge in saloon. He did not learn to tpple. for that Is q form Of human delinquency that Is beyond even cat. He was regarded as the maecM Of the nlnce md grew ss slaalr
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-12-18

l7 DO not know his name. Perhaps Fl 1t was Tom. Most cats of his per 1j suasion are called Tom. It is q
 sort of noncommittal name and Is no burden to the cat. Mark Twain says he once killed a promising bunch of cats by overlooking them with names. He called them Zoroaster, Sour Mash. Apollinaris and Blather- skite. once knew cat named Plupey Shute, but he was fairly husky and did not seem to mind 1t. We might com promise by calling this especial feline Micawber. He was always looking for something. Mostly 1t was for some thing to eat. and when 1t wasn't that 1t was for trouble.
 Micawber had had hard life. What between the world, the flesh and the small boy he was up against 1t most of the time. As kitten he had been reared in comparative luxury, but that time now seemed to him. when ho thought of 1t at all, like n dim, sweet dream. Mostly he did not think of 1t, being too busy with everyday affairs, such as fighting, lodging stones and looking for provender. The family where he had lived in his happy youth had moved away, forgetting to take him along. The next occupants of the house did not want him, so he was thrown out on the cold world. He did not leave voluntarily, but after being chased out, kicked out, locked out and doused with hot water a sufficient num- Der of times he finally took the hint that his company was not desired. He did not so much mind the indignlties, but rude. physical assault pained and surprised him. There are some things that evena cat will not stand.
 After that, for the most part, he lived in back alley. He slept in a barrel by day and went on voyages of exploration and discovery by night. He did not find much but tribulation and scraps-scraps that were eatable and scraps with other felines. Some times, when driven by hunger he ven- tured out by day. Occasionally he caught sight of a mouse, a bird or chipmunk. Then, motionless md alert he would watch 1t for what seemed ages. The patience of cat is thing that should be immortallzed on a monument. While on these daily outings he had to jump sideways and straight up to get out of the way of playful brickbats and clods hurled in his direction. He became as expert in lodging missiles as a millionaire in evading a court summons. Only Mi cawber knew nothing abouts million aires. He belonged to the hoi polloi. Most of the time he lived the strenuous life. He !lts..'"i> e-.,,-.t ;r var throuch
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-12-18

vacant for time he again became g
 wanderer on the face of the earth, .
 tramp, stray. vagabond. So once
 moro he began carousing and disturb
 ing the neighborhood. He had per
 ennial appetite that never was appeas-
 ed, a craving that never was filled.
 Micawber was handsome cat and
 valiant withal, and among the monde
 script felines of all colors and no color
 to speak of he shone resplendent in a
 tabby coat striped like a tiger. He had
 now reached an age when any well
 regulated cat should have settled down and become respected citizen. Per haps it was sense of his unregenerate condition that caused him to cast about for another home. During his wander ings he stopped at barn and farmer gave him milk fresh from the cow There were three dogs on the place. and Micawber did not stay.
 One winters day he especially felt the need of a new life Perhaps it was because he was cold; also hungry. It seemed to him that he was always hun gry. He was bundle of appetite, an animated void, an incarnate longing This particular day, which was to prove q red letter one in his career. he wandered far from his usual haunts. Finally espying a slightly open door. his old domestic habits got the best of him, and he ventured in. It was Christ mas, but he knew nothing of that, be- ing pagan and heathen by nature. Perhaps in some subconscious way he was sent as Christmas gift to the lit tie folks there, but of that he also was in ignorance.
 When once inside. the house seemed deserted. but it was warm. That was the main thing No, not quite the main thing, for the inward gnawing contin- ued. The carnal nature of a cat is as strong as that of some people. The only object in the universe now worth seeking was a dinner. Suddenly he caught an unmistakable scent that made his nerves jingle and his mouth water. Surely that was milk. Micaw- bers unerring instinct located it on nearby table, and with single spring he was there. But the best laid plans not only of mice and men, but also of cats, go oft astray. There was certain ly milk here, but in such peculiar guise that his feline brain could not make 1t out. The nursing bottle was new thing in his experience. He gave it up.
 Next he espied another cat, one that looked like very small edition of It reminded him of his own days of kittenhood, when he had played with ball and ro1nped his way into the hearts of the children. He was not without sentiment. and, hungry as he was, he would stop to make friends. Leaping on to the table where the small cat was seated, he proceeded to make advances. But never a word said the other cat. He advanced clos CT, but the kitten did not even deign to notice him. This was rank discour- tesy. and he went away in disgust.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-12-18

and prosperous looking as the owner.
 One night the saloon blew up from .
 defective gas main. In removing tho
 ruins the workmen unearthed one
 piece of debris that emitted wild yell
 and shot out of the place like q streak.
 It was Micawber. denuded of hair, but
 very much alive. Many emotions were
 expressed in that yell-pain, rage, ter TOT, hunger and the outraged sense that follows the betrayal of -childlike faith.
 He had trusted and in return had had hurled at him large section of earth quake and destruction Out of peace ful sleep he had been hit by house, hurled what seemed miles upward and had fallen back to be pinned down un- der rain of broken bar fixtures, frag- ments of free lunches and smashed beer bottles. there to be imprisoned in the blackness of utter darkness for what seemed intending ages. What way was this to treat defenseIess and unsuspecting cat? What had he done to the world that 1t should blow him up and trample on him in such fashion?
 III ume. however, his wounded feel
 ings and skin healed, his fur grew back
 and he was once more ready to make presentable appearance in company.
 Even cats feel some delicacy about
 venturing into society with most of their clothes ripped oil.
 Still later in his career he was taken
 in by large and matronly woman with an amiable disposition and dou- ble chin. Here he regained his faith in humankind and ceased for a time to be a bowling pesslmist Having had a little ori6ce cut for him into the kitchen entryway. this he wore slick with his frequent comings and goings. But some stray cats also learned of the hole, 50 small door with hinges above was placed over the opening. This hurt Mlcawbers feelings, and he mewed piteously until one day the small boy of the house pushed him through the hole and showed him how the door worked. Ever afterward be asked nobody's assistance-t is, in SoAA6 ouh. out WACh IL C0uk0 lO kGL~ ting back, that was a different matter. At first he pushed against the door, but this hurt his head and did not effect the desired result Then he mewed. Finally he worked 1t out with his small cat brain. Lying on his back, he paved the door open. then by a sudden squirming motion was through the hole before 1t could close again. After that achievement he arched his back and walked as proudly as though he had whipped the biggest Tom on the block. Nor did he forget the trick. Finally the family discov- cred him at 1t, and nelghbors came to see his cleverness. If this caused him any pride, however, he never showed t. Cats are not afflicted with swelled head. even though they have no ethics worth mentioning.
 When the family whom Micawber lad honored with his presence moved way to distant city 1t was with sincere regret that they were forced Q leave him behind. As the house .stnod
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1906-11-07
REV. MOSES HEWITT.
Death Of Weli-known Methodist
Clergyman and Author.

Lwiston, Me-. Nov. 6.-Rcv. Moses
Hewitt of Mechanic Falls died at the
Central Maine General hospital Monday
afternoon of cancer Of the stomach.
after an illness of two months. Mr..
Hewitt was born in Buckley, Eng, SO
years ago.
Twenty-Five years ago he came with
his family to the United States. After
spending year in Massachusetts he
supplied a pulpit in New Sharon. Me-.
and then uniting himself with the
Ma inc Methodist conference, he held
pastorates at the following PAGES:
Monmouth. Auburn, WOodfords. where
he remained ,our years. South Berwick.
Richmond. Wilton. I1tervale, N. H..
Beacon street church, Bath, and then
Mechanic Falls where he had preach
ed for nearly two years. He is the au-
thor of "Eccc Clerus," 4 book for
preachers, and had nearly ready for
publication another book which will
probably be brought out later.
A widow. three children. Prof. J. w.
Hewitt. PHI. d.. of Middletown Univcr-
sity. Miss Gertrude Hewitt, a teacher
in Orange, Mass, and Mrs. Fred Dins-
more of 1ntervale, N. H., survive.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1906-11-07
ROBBERS ESCAPE.
Hold Up Bank, Take Team at Pistol:
Point and Get Away,

Ottawa, ILL.,. Nov. 6.-The two robbers
who secured $1,000 from the Farmers and
Miners Bank at Ladd made their escape
last night after an exciting chase of over
40 miles and after numerous fights with
farmers who attempted to intercept
them. After robbing the Ladd bank the
robbers drove to Peru and at the point
of revolver compelled a liveryman to
furnish buggy and fresh horses They
passed through LaSalle and then the pur-
suit began. The robbers drove through
four county townships, police armed with
rifles in close pursuit. Farmers were
compelled to furnish the robbers with
fresh horses. In Wallace township there
was lively exchange of shots, but the
robbers took to the corn fields, secured a
new team and escaped to Sheridan, where
they abandoned horses buggy and over
coats and caught a train presumably for
Chicago.