Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1906-04-28

THE UNDOING
OF UNCLE ZEKE.

by no less authority than the presi
dent. There can be strenuosity In
speech as well as in action. Quite re-
Gently the postmaster at a certain
village on the eastern shore related
an incident wherein the strenuousity OF
speech proved Uncle Zeke's undoing.
We'll" the postmaster admitted, re.
~luctantly, there don't man. drum.
mers stop in the village over night
II they can get away-not now, they
don't. They used to, every one.
"The drummers used to come down
to Kings Crossing-that's seven miles
from here-on the mornin' train, and
Uncle Zeke, that run the hotel here,
would always be on hand to drive
them over, 80 they didn't take a liv-
cry team. They would calculate to
get through in the village, an catch
the evening train at the Crossing.
There wasn't but one train each way
in the day.
That's what they calculated on, but
that didn't suit Uncle Extraordinarily
like he wanted them to stay over
night OF his hotel, and they did.
1T was this way. The train passed
the Crossing at seven o'clock in the
evening. Well, when there was q
! drummer at the hotel, supper had q
1 way of bein' kinder late, SO 1t was
| generally bout half-past five before
; Uncle Zeke got his mule Solomon
hitched up ready to drive EN- down.
They's finally get started, though, an
make right good time for about three
miles, an Their right in the middle
of the river ford that mule Solomon
, would balk, an of all the champion
bakers, Solomon sure took the cake.
Never heard of Solomon balkin' any
where else, or any time 'cept when
there was a drummer in the buggy
but he never missed it then. ! do be-
lieye that mule could size up a drum
mer a half mile off. T&sKsv-~
well. as l said, Solomon would
balk. He would just stand there in
the middle of the ford, with his legs
braced out an his ears laid back an
all the cussin' ever heard wouldn't
bulge him an inch. There was just
one thing that would move him.
When he heard the faint far-off whistle
of the train for Kings Crossing he
would kinder sigh, gather his legs
up, an calmly walk on. Wasn't no
use then-couldn't possibly get to the
Crossing in time to catch the train.
Nothin' to do but turn round an
come back to the village, there not
bein' any hotel at the Crossing. Fun
ny thing hat mule Solomon never
baked in the mornin'. always got to
the Crossing in plenty of time for the
train.
Uncle Zeke made a right good
thing out of his hotel for a long time,
an was powerful fond of that mule.
Used to might near cry when he had
to larrup him when his was a-balkin
In the water. --4gs. --~sr~~
well, one day Uncle Zeke brought
out a big Wall street fellow that want
ed to look over some oyster interests.
an in the afternoon came back to the
hotel. AS per usual, supper got kinder
late. They was eatin' when a young
fellow rode up on a bicycle with a
telegram that the agent at the Cross
ing had sent on for the Wall street
man. 1t must have been right impor-
tant, for when he read It he never
stopped to finish his supper, but
grabbed his hat an yelled for Uncle
Zeke to get him to the railroad in no
|time-a special would come along and
pick him up.
"Tn give you $50 to make it in
As minutes he says to Uncle Zeke,
an you oughter seen that old rascal
hump hisself an get the harness on
Solomon. --~~~xw- H~---~SNafs~
"Well they got off in a hurry, an
were evidently goin' to do that seven
miles in As minutes all right at that
gait-till they come TO the ford You
see, the Wall street fellow had a big
! diamond in his shirt, an so on, an
! for the first time in his life solomon
! made a mistake-took i'm for a drum
! mer. When they got in the middle
| of the ford Solomon kinder leaned up
against hisself an waited for the Gus
| tomary cussin'. 1t come, but not the
| customary kind. That Wall street fel-
low like to have had a at.
Take the hide off him, he yells.
ri give you 800 to get to the sta
| ton by $780, he says.
Uncle Zeke sure wanted that money,
| an the way he whaled into solomon
was a caution. Solomon stood it all
till Uncle Zeke called him a fool
| mule; that took all the %stiffenlng out
| of him. and as he gave a heartbroken
| sigh walked slowly out of the water
| and lay down in the middle Of the
| road on the bank. Uncle Zeke whaled
and walloped him, blu wasn't no use.
| Solomon felt that he had been be-
| trayed and slandered by a friend he
had loved and served, and his heart
was broke. He wouldn't get up-the
| strenuosity of language had been too
much for him.
FINALLY the New York fellow
grabbed his grip an started to walk.
He wouldn't even give Uncle Zeke a