The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-01-31
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Autobiography of o Soul.

Autobiography OF o SOUL
II wish you would take this old
manuscript volume" said an old lady
to a friend, who had q fondness for an
tiques. Il do not like to destroy IT.,
and / do not know what to do with it,
The family that left 1t with me is dea0,'
every one. 1t was some old relative On
ancestor Of theirs, I think, who wrote
it. 1 have not read much In 1t, but
it is something religious" :
The volume proved to be Of no great,
antiquity, being less than a century,
old, but it had all the favor Of the long
ago. It was the spiritual autobiogra-,
ply Of q young man. "The Gracious
Dealing of God With My SOUP ri
the title, and the record covered a per-
iod of twelve years. e.
The first part Of it had first been
written on separate sheets, and afte--
ward copied. II have q number OF.
scraps Of paper laying about; I shall
put them together and copy them IN
this book" said the preface. Them
follows the record Of his spiritual life.
His mother was pious, his father not
so. He had lived a careless youth,
as he %confesses, until the death Of oneii
Of his companions and the earnest,
solicitude of another caused him to,
reflect upon the welfare of my never.
dyeing SOUL" as he writes 1t. He;
prayed, prayed aloud, for so he es-I
teemed it his duty, and being forbid
den by his father to make so much
noise in the house, went for his seasons
Of devotion to the barn. But he did not
yet esteem himself a Christian. rif
II felt afraid I should lose my con-
viction," said the narrative, "aDd
I prayed that God would roll on more
Powerful conviction, and that I might
not be left to hardness Of heart and
blindness of Mind. I thought If i
could get more conviction, I should
have some hopes that I might yet find
mercy. I read my Bible, but I got no
Evidence that I had met with a change
of heart" i
However, he was baptized, wit
messed his confession before men, set
upon doing, good as God gave him sOp-
portunity, and retired to his room:on
Sabbath days, birthdays and Thanks
givings,+ which were practically xtbe..
only days used for writing in the jour-
. nal, to lament his Glow state Of mind"
his "dulness and stupidity" his "hard-
ness Of heart" and "unproftableness
of life" .
Toward the end of The narrative
come frequent illusions to health. The
writer has a cough; is unable to work;
and later has splitting Of blood. There
are records. of hard colds and more
splitting of blood. The story was COM
mon enough in New England a century,
ago, and is far too common now. And
after q page which records at once o.
growing trust in God and increasing
physical weakness, the narrative stops
abruptly. There were pages numbered
ahead, but another hand would have
been needed to fill them.
, Did the young man recover? Proba-
bly, not. These are in all likelihood
THE last words he yer wrote: "TeSaT,
Ito myself. can it be possible thatfIsm
"a child of God whenlI live so careless
and stupid in the Cause Of Christ? but
yet I have a little glimmering hope
that I have been born again. So =
pray that I shall be reconciled 20 the
will Of God in my af1iction, in my in
firm health, 6 lean upon his all-suh-
cient arm" Fa
There are yellow stains, upon the
page, as if it had been read through
tears; and the subsequent pages bear
no mark save that a few are numbered
ahead.
The modern reader closed the book
with a feeling of solemnity. he had
seen a soul laid hare. And how hard
he strove. that young man Of a hup-
dred years ago, for a blessing which
God was more willing to bestow than
he to receive! How vain were all
these inward ST. 7ings! How morbid
was this constant introspection Yet
after all, there was in it something 10
challenge ones respect. -.
Here was a soul, fighting out alone
the great and awful problems ,of eex-
istence, of duty, and Of the righteous
claims Of God.
Very different from the easy and
fippant religion which is common to-
day? Perhaps 50; and it may be that %
little more Of the earnestness Of the
old time wrestling which tells its story
in such a book would be worthy. OF
modern imitation.
Not in it's morbid introspection. but
in it's heroic resolve to find God, how.
ever far away, and to perform duty,
no matter how hard, and to struggle
upward toward the light. no matter
how long the climb, is the lesson which
the old book has for to-day.-Youth's
Companion. j.