The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-09-28
UNCLE SAM EASY Z
loLD GENTLEMAN NEVER n HARD
TAsksAsTER. W..

TAskMAsTER.
According TO industrious. "l<nocksrs"
Of the Sunrise Club, His I'm.
81 pIoyss Have 4 Hard Time
Keeping Amused.
"Say, this government gets a lot for
Its money. sometimes" said one Of
the charter members Of the Sunrise
club. when the organization was hand
Ing around FEW Of its customary
knocks in the dairy lunch room the
other night. "Now. don't like get
ting up in the morning little Bit"
said the qualified hammer thrower,
but work for my living, 80 I have
to. But the other morning was COM
Ing In with q bunch of fellow-com.
muters on an early car, and the fel.
low that was sitting next me had a
ay-before-yesterday accumulation Of
stubble under his chin.
Scored on you this time, Willie,'
said I, with an air of virtue, for was
pretty nearly clean myself. I took
my shave the night before and could
sleep late next morning on the
strength Of it. but he gave me the su.
perior smile and said: oh, that's all
right. l never shave at home. I'll
take these OF after get down to the
Office
'He works for the government. of
course.
Then he went on to throw it into
me. You see,' he said, there are very
few of the fellows in my Office who
shave at home. keep my razors and
shaving tackle down at the Office, and
the government always has plenty Of
hot water and porcelain wash stands
on hand. shave down there. It's
a great scheme and helps to pass the
time"
The Sunrise club went into execu.
tive session behind several sections
of iced cantaloupe and then one o.
the members took up the sledge.
Il don't know how it is now" said
he, but I used to work for the gov.
eminent myself, and I know we had
then a regular sewing circle in the
office. All the bachelor members and
good many who were not kept but.
ton boxes and spools of thread down
at the Office and in the course of the
afternoon we used to get quite lot
of domestic work done. Our wives,
, those of us who were so furnished,
said it was good thing and 1t took
q lot of work of their hands and saved
a lot of clerks from working them.
selves out of job"
ooh, we'll, there are different ways
Of doing it, but the man who can put
in all Of his eight hours working for
the government is WONDER" said the
amiable member Of the club who is
always trying to make excuses for
human nature. "Take my case. I
dropped in to see one Of the cabinet
; officers this week, and there was his
secretary framed up with a large,
choice collection of summer literature
on hts desk and in the midst of it an
Advanced Treatise on Bridge Now
bridge rs q mighty intricate game.
There are more ways Of losing money
on 1t than in tackling bacarat or
crooked faro bank. Some philanthrop.
ic author had gone to work and print.
ed his experience, which must have
cost him lot Of money, and put 1t
all up in neat, attractive form where
the hard working clerk could accumu.
late it all for Is cents. no headaches
and no remorse.
1T would be a hard.hearted man
who would grudge an Industrious gov.
eminent employee few minutes to
fortify himself by studying such an
important volume. It might mean
more saving to him than all the gov.
eminent time he puts in reading dur.
ing office hours. This eight-hour day
which really looks like eight and
half by the clock and which seems
like nine and three-quarters when you
are putting it in polishing the seat
of government arm chair, requires
some ingenuity to kill. think the
man who evolved the idea Of studying
bridge rules in the office IL q bene.
factor to his kind.
"Of course they cannot lay out golf
courses in the Office, though some Of
the departments down in the Mall
might do, 1t. and the employees have
to do something. But IL you want to
really earn competency. you ought
to invent q variation of the Pigs in
Glover puzzle and sell it around
among the clerks this weather, or per.
haps better.scheme still would be to
write out course Of ten easy lessons
on how to build q perpetual motion
machine and then supply the direc.
lions and materials on the insta llment
plan SO the clerks could experiment at
their desks It would be q great
scheme as money-maker and an IN.
estimable boon to the wearied govern.
ment employees at the same time