Los Angeles herald., 1906-10-29


will be up to every true gentleman to
powder his knees.
"The Marriage of Rameses H." Is
the title OF an article in the Chicago
Inter Ocean. Isn't the esteemed Inter
Ocean a little slow with It's account OF
this affair? The marriage took place
some time ago.
That Texas woman who is running
for congress ought to try for the sem
ate, where they have no rules limiting
debate
Fish wardens UP in Maine are wor-
rying about how Holsters should be
measured. They know how In New
York-by their pocketbooks.
DR.. Wiley's next poison squad will
be used to test the effects of different
kinds Of whisky. He probably will
have no difficulty in getting volunteers.
A New York paper wants to know
which Is more to be depended on, the
blonde or the brunette. This question
should be referred to Senator Platt
The latest Raffes learned the art of
Designing interior decorations at a re-
formatory and then used it as q side
issue to the profession of burglary.
FIee-ting Fancy
A fly and a flea and fue
Were Imprisoned, so what could they
do?
Said the fly: LET us flee"
Said tht flea: Let JUS fly"
So they flew through a flaw in the fue.
Richmond p. Hobson says the Japa-
nese could take the Philippines in a
day, il they wanted them. Unfortun-
ately, the Japanese do not seem to
want them.
Mr.. Hughes seems to investigate yell
low journalism with the same ruthless
zest he displayed toward crooked in
Surance.
Some Judge has gravely decided that
chickens are matched, not born. At
least one of the differences between
chickens and poets has now been plain.
Artificial diamonds have been ad-
vanced 20 per cent in price. At that
rate they will soon become so valua-
BILE that actresses cannot afford to lose
them.
A Chicago alderman has been thrown
into Jail and the authorities refuse to
tell him what the charge against him
is. The fact that he is a Chicago al
derman should be sufficient.
An Omaha millionaire has given $780,
600 to university. No doubt he figured
that 1t was time one of the towns
millionaires helped out somebody be-
sides Pat Grove.
H-ears.t-A Puzzle
Behead me and curtail me
And only cars" remain;
That must be a donkey,
The inference is plain.
Senator LaFollette's lecture in To-
peka was not very largely attended.
AS the Topeka Capital says candidly:
1T takes man with a tapeworm rem
edy or corn cure to get a crowd in
this town." ="
In the last nine months the United
States has withdrawn $50,000,000. or
nearly 81 per capita, from the Bank of
England. Get yours?
1t is natural that q bitter fight
should be made over the Weightman
fortune, which was made in quinine.
A Paris tobacconist is authority for
the statement that many queens smoke
cigarettes. It must take the fun !.
of 1t, however, not to, have to save the
coupons.
after the Panama canal, what ?"
asks a st. Louis paper. The opening
of the twenty-first century will prob
ably be next in order.
Margaret Angln, the actress, SAYS
that man who has been making love
to her is insane. OF course he is--if
he is in love.
"a 4. AL.A
dead Democrats. The live ones are
nearly all against him.
The University of Chicago professors
probably did great deal to create
that impression that the entire city
was daffy.
IN anti-corporation candidate who
represents party that is Incorporated
is the delicious novelty of the season
in New York
The shrewdness of that Evansville
sheriff who used his Jail TRUSTEES to get
in his crops may suggest something
worth while to Kansas.
She Dyed
oh, once loved flaxen blonde.
I gave her my devotion;
OF her, oh, how my heart was fond!
She filled me with emotion!
I raved of sun-kissed tresses gold
As Ophir's precious metnl;
I sang of gilded web, and told
Its value, in fine fettlel
Alas I'm always doomed to lose
The things most abide;
l loved her fair-what was the use?
That blonde, she up and dyed
w. H. C..
CARBON BRIoUETs.
A trial order will demonstrate