davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25

under two rates is naturally due to be
classed as the higher. But are guinea
| pigs pigs? Aren't they rabbits?"
| Come to think of it," said the pres
! ident' Il believe they are more like rab-
bits Sort of halfway station between
pig and rabbit I think the question is
| this-are guinea pigs of the domestic pig
family? I'll ask Professor Gordon. He
! Is authority on such things. Leave the
papers with me-.
The president put the papers on his
desk and wrote a letter to Professor Cor
/ don. Unfortunately, the professor was
in South America collecting geological
specimens and the letter was forwarded
| to him by his wife. AS the professor
was in the highest Andes, where no white
man had ever penetrated the letter was
| many months in reaching him. The pres
ident forgot the guinea pigs Morgan
| forgot them, Mr.. Morehouse forgot them,
but Flannery did not. One-half of his
| time he gave to the duties of his agency:
| the other half was devoted to the guinea
pigs. Long before Professor Gordon re-
ceived the presidents letter Morgan re-
ceiyed one from Flannery.
about them dago pigs it said, what
shall l do they are great in family life,
no race suicide for them, there are thirty
two now shall | sell them do you take
| this express office for a menagerie, an
| swer quick"
| Morgan reached for a telegraph blank
| and wrote:
agent. westcote. Don't sell pigs"
He then wrote Flannery a letter calling
| attention to the fact that the pigs were
not the property of the company, but
were merely being held during settle
| ment of a dispute regarding rates. He
advised Flannery to take the best posi-
| BILE care of them.
Flannery. letter in hand. looked at the
| pigs and sighed The dry goods box cage
| had become too small. He boarded up
| twenty feet of the rear of the express
| office to make a large and airy home for
| them, and went about his business. He
| worked with feverish intensity when out
| ON his rounds, for the pigs required at
| tention and took most of his time Some
| months later, in desperation, he seized
| a sheet of paper and wrote 100 across
it and mailed it to Morgan. Morgan re-
| turned 1t asking for explanation. Elan
! merry replied:
, '"There be now one hundred sixty of
them dago pigs, for heavens sake let me
| sell off some, do you want me to so
| crazy what"
sell no pigs" Morgan wired.
| Not long after this the president of the
| express company received a letter from
! Professor Gordon. 1t was a long and
| scholarly letter. but the point was that
| the guinea pig was the Cavia aparoea
| while the common pig was the genius
' Sus of the family Suidae He remarked
that they were prolific and multiplied
| rapidly
"They are not pigs" said the president
| decidedly, to Morgan. THE twenty-five
| cent rate applies"
| Morgan made the proper notation on
| the papers that had accumulated in File
, A6754 and turned them over to the Audit
Department. The Audit Department took
! some time to look the matter up. and
| after the usual delay wrote F'lannery
| that as he had on hand 100 guinea pigs
! the property of consignee, he should de-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25

nHIKE FLANNERY, the Westcote
INl agent of the Interurban Express
company, leaned over the coun-
ter of the express office and shook his
fist. Mr.. Moorehouse angry and red,
stood on the other side of the counter,
trembling with rage. The argument had
been long and heated and at last Mr..
Moorehouse had talked himself speech
less The cause of the trouble stood on
the counter between the two men. Ii was
a soap box. across the top of which were
nailed a number of strips, forming a
rough but serviceable cage. In it two
spotted guiena pigs were greedily eating
lettuce leaves.
do as you loike, them shouted Elan
merry, pay for thin an take thin, or
Rules is rules Misther Moorehouse, an
Mike Flannerys not goin to be called
down for breakin' of thin"
but, you everlastingly stupid idiot1'
shouted Mr.. Moorehouse, madly shaking
a flimsy printed book beneath the agents
nose cant you read it herein your
own plain printed rates? Pets, domestic,
Franklin to Westcote, il properly boxed,
twenty-five cents EACH He threw the
book on the counter in disgust What
more do you want? Aren't they pets ?
Aren't they domestic? Aren't they prop
erly boxed? WHAT"
He turned and walked back and forth
rapidly, frownng ferociously. Suddenly
he turned 10 Finnery, and forcing his
voice to an artificial calmness, spoke
slowly, but with intense sarcasm
Dat I, cold &c ma ~ fix4e
cents each. There are two of them. One.
Two! Two times twenty-five are fiftyi
Can you understand that? l offer you
fifty cents
Flannery reached for the book. He ran
his hand through the pages and stopped
at page sixty-four.
IAN l don't take fifty cints," he whis-
pered in mockery. Here's the rule for
ut 'Whin the agint be in amy doubt
regardin' which of two rates applies to
q shipmint, he shall charge the larger.
The consigney may file claim for the
oyercharge.' In this case, Misther More
house, l be in doubt. Pets thin animals
NAV be. an domestic they be, but pigs,
I'm blame sure they do be, an me rules
saws plain as the rose on Yer face, Pigs,
Franklin to Westcote, thirty cints each.
An Misther Morehouse, by me arthmeti-
cal knowledge two times thurty comes TO
sixty cints."
Mr.. Morehouse shook his head savage
ly.
Nonsense" he shouted, 'confounded
nonsense, | tell you Why, you poor ig-
norant foreigner, that rule means com
mon pigs, domestic pigs not guinea
pigs"
Flannery was stubborn.
pigs Is pigs" he declared hrmiy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25

him a good deal to find that the In
dams had jumped in and squatted OH
| this real estate a few centuries be-
fore his arrival. Sometimes when he
would be surveying for a boulevard
right through an Indian village the ma
tiyes would attempt to interfere with
his plans. He resented this interfer-
enee, but he never lost his temper to
such an extent that he stopped board
ing with them
In 1907 he went up to visit Pow
hatan, who was a big chief in his own
tribe, and had been cutting wide
swath in Virginia, but who didn't stack
up very high alongside of an English
man with whiskers.
Powhatan lived In a town known as
Werowocomoco, near the junction of
Carriers Greek and York Run. 1t is
believed that Captain Smith did not
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25

expressed them to Franklin. Day after
day the cages of guinea pigs flowed in a
steady stream from Westcote to Frank
lin, and still Flannery and his six help
ers ripped and nailed and packed-re-
lentlessly and feverishly. At the end of
the week they had shipped two hundred
and eighty cases of guinea pigs, and
there were in the express office seven
, hundred and four more pigs than when
they began packing them.
Stop sending pigs Warehouse full"
came telegram to Flannery. lie
stopped packing only long enough to
wire back, Cant stop" and kept on
sending them. On the next train up from
/ Franklin came one of the company's in
| spectors. He had instructions to stop
the stream of guinea pigs at all hazards.
I, AS his train drew up at Westcote sta
| ton he saw cattle car standing on the
express company's siding. When he
reached the express office he saw the
express wagon backed up to the door.
Six boys were carrying bushel baskets
full of guinea pigs from the office and
dumping them into the wagon. Inside
the room Flannery. with his coat and
vest off, was shoveling the guinea pigs
| into bushel baskets with coal scoop.
He was winding up the guinea pig cpl.
sode.
He looked up at the inspector with
snort of anger. iTfA
WAN wagonload more an I'll be quit
of thim an niver will yet catch Flannery
wild no more foreign pigs on his hands.
No. SUR They near was the death o.
me. Mkt tonne I'll know that pigs of
whativer nationality is domestic pets
an go at the lowest rate"
He began shoyeling again rapidly,
speaking quickly between breaths.
Rules may be rules, but you can't fool
Mike Flannery twice wild the same thrick
-whn 1t comes to live stock, dang the
rules! so long as Flannery runs this
expriss office-pigs is pets-an' cows is
pets-an' horses is pets-an lions an
tigers an Rocky Mountain goats is pets
an the rate ON thin is twinty-foive
cints."
He paused long enough to let one of
the boys put an empty basket in the
place of the one he had just filed. There
were only few guinea pigs left As he
noted their limited number his natural
habit of looking on the bright side re-
turned.
well. anyhow" he said cheerfully,
otis not so bad as ut might be- What
If thin dago pigs had been elephantsn'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25
NHE true story of Captain John
never been told. The onl

Il never been told. The only
version given to the world was written
by Captain John himself, and in this
narrative he gets all the best of it.
He is IT.
Somehow or other when fastidious
foreigner writes book about America
he always gives the author the long
end of it.
John was great hand 10 plug his
own game. He hated himself not. He
got out five or six books, and they
were all about himself. In his earlier
works he told about carving up the
Turks and Bulgarians, often convert
ing an ordinary battlefield into reek-
ing slaughter house. Wherever he
went he would fight with one hand
and take notes with the other.
When he started for America, in
1906, he was all primed to do the Kip
ling act. He had swell contracts with
the publishers right in his pocket, and
was already framing up what he would
say when the newspaper boys came
around to pump him.
1t was certainly tough luck for him
that the kodak had not been invented.
The captain was cut out for a half
tone hero.
The modern historian takes few
established facts, and, using them as
pegs, proceeds to hang up festoons of
smilax, thereby converting a plain
chronology into a pleasing romance.
In the case of Captain John Smith we
have a right to take these same liber-
ties. With a few sound historical data
as basis we may proceed TO elabo-
rate the story of what happened to
him in America. 1t is practical cinch
that Captain Smith was not essentially
different from all the other English
men who have come out into the dark.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25

the other hand, let a man from Guthrie,
Okla, go broke in their midst ana
they will give him nice folder map,
showing the best route for walking
home.
Powhatan was probably a self-made
American with an accent and fine
line of stable manners, and it was only
natural that he would knuckle under
to the captain. The captain had d
cold, gimlet eye. and he seldom smiled
in fact, he had all the earmarks of a
very doggy swell.
Nothing suited him. He kicked on
the food. All that Powhatan could
offer him at that time we're the natu-
raj products of Virginia and the Ches-
apeake region, such as Lynn Ravens
on the half-shell, terrapin, canvasbacl1
duck, venison, bear meat, a few varie-
ties of fish, prairie chicken and cake
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25

tain Smith looked on with a dead and
fishy eye and said that he much pre-
ferred cricket. Then he became peev-
ish because tea was not served at the
ball game.
That afternoon he landed on Pow
hatan for a slight loan, and when the
chief offered him wampum he kicked
on the currency of the country, and
said they should adopt a sensible sys-
tenn, based on farthings, hobs and
guilds.
That evening he was invited to din
ner again, and when the natives told
him that they would dine at o'clock
he said it was most outrageous hour,
and that he was not accustomed to din
ing before $780, All during dinner he
mentioned that the room was too hot
and the drinks were too cold. He
muffed every joke that came into his
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25
Build an Ice House.
| From Farming.

Improved methods in handling milk
make an ice house on the farm a neces-
sity. Where summer boarders are one of
the farm assets, an abundant supply OF
ice is almost equally necessary. In any
case where pond or lake is within a
mile or two of the farm, an ice house will
be one of the most appreciated Injuries
that the farm can have. The only thing
worth considering is its initial cost, be-
cause the time at which 1t is filled is AL
ways a dull one on the farm, when neith-
er. the team nor the farm help would be
used for any other purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25

ness of the New World at various
times to look us over.
We know just how the captain car
ried on over here, because the records
show that he was typical British
tourist. 1t is known that on the way
over he was very cocly-told the cap
tain how to steer the ship and use to
stand out on deck finding fault with
the ocean, the sky, the porpoises, the
crew, the passenger list, the cooking,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25

get back to the tall-browed writer who
comes over here to play horse with
our crude institutions Captain Smith,
you are going away from here. don't
know where you will land, but | am
willing to gamble that you will kick
on either place; but we will nave the
satisfaction of knowing that no mat
ter what your impressions may be you
won't be able to go back home and put
them into a book. | have tried to be
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25
e...a,.. txe<Asz-saA


from abroad knew how to get his
board for nothing.
The first lesson taught the native
Americans was that they should es-
TEEN it a privilege to organize dinners
for all British subjects who happened
along.
Captain John Smith began to get
busy exploring Chesapeake Bay and
stalking out large tracts of land which
he claimed for the crown. 1t annoyed
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25

and how Pocahontas succeeded in
meeting and marrying the gallant
young Rolfe and actually going to Eng
land to be presented at court.
After Powhatan got hold of Captain
Smiths book he was sorry that he
hadn't swung the club before Pocahon-
tas showed up on the scene. He wa,
hoping that Captain Smith would come
back again, but the author never
showed up after he had written his
roast. They never do.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

of District Attorney E. c. Abbott, of
the counties of Santa Fe and Taos
The reason for Abbott's removal is
alleged to be mis- refusal to prosecute
former officials of the Territorial
.penitentiary and other grafters of the
old gang. Robert c. Gortner has been
appointed to fill the position vacated
by Abbott. The grand jury is in ses-
sion, n things may be expected to
happen fast for a few days at Santa
Fee.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

A leading merchant of Roswell who
never takes an active interest in pol
itics, said to the Record man today
that ne would willingly give five hun
dred dollars as a plain business prop
sosition to prevent the election of VIM.
j. Bryan to the Presidency. This
merchant has a high regard for Mr..
Bryan personally, but believes that
his election would cause a panic in
which every line of business in the
country would suffer. Mr.. Bryan is
too mucn of a dictator and has too
much of a Socialist following to
please all Democrats, many of whom
believe that he is a greater man on
the lecture platform han he would
be in the Presidential chair,-and
two a will give time to find ano-
ther candidate if MI. Bryan should
talk himself to death.
IASCI Is well aware Ol IIS
fact that jointure cuts the number of
possible officials in two, and is there
fore Objectionable to the men expect
ing to hold Office for a living, but the
Advertiser is working in the interest
of the men paying the taxes-the mer
chant, stock raiser, and property own
er-and it cares very little for the
desires OF the politicians. The men
paying the taxes should consider the
question from a business standpoint,
and decide in favor of the side of
fering the most advantages. AS a
state, we suggest thai one legislature
instead of two. one set of state Off
cials instead of two, and the combin-
ed wealth of the two territories to
support the lesser burden, appeals to
+ho business, if not the poll
querque Advertiser.
-
read has gone into the
NOR Hagerman has re-
receiced the resignation
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

Governor Hagerman is not afraid
to give the Democrats of the Pecos
Valley fair representation in the leg
islature,-because he is honest and
needs the assistance of all fair
minded men of the Territory in Civ
ing New Mexico a business admin
istration.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

Did you notice the millinery ad. of
the Joyce-Pruit Co. yesterday? OF
course you Lie This firms ads are
always noticeab1e-and they always
have the goods. A mere
ment that the millinery has arrived
and an invitation for the ladies to
come and see attracts the attention
of every woman in town, when back
ed by the name and reputation of
the J~oyce-Pruit Co..
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

Mr.. n Mrs. L. B. Tannehill enter
tanned the members of the Six-Hand
Euchre Club and a few outside
friends at their home on Pennsylva-
MIA avenue last night. Many interest
ing games were played. The party
filled three tables and was a thor
oughly congenial one. Refreshments
were served.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

Since the sentiment against joint
statehood in Arizona is unanimous
in the Democratic party and practi-
Mexico might as we'll turn her atten-
ton to electing a Democratic dele
gate to congress-, and a legislature
that will support Governor Hager-
man in giving the Territory an non
est business administration.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

All advertisements to insure inser-
tion in the same days issue of The
Record shouId be in the printers
hands before eleven o'clock in the
morning. Orders for taking out any
standing ad. should also be in the Of
flee by eleven o'clock to prevent its
being run that day.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

The Record believes that all the
Democratic representatives n coun-
cilmen elected to the next Legislature
will support the Hagerman policy of
giving the people a square deal. VINO
cares what political party Mr.. Hag-
erman belongs to, so long as he
works in the interest of the whole
people?
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

The Morrison Brothers are perhaps
the largest all the year through ad-
vertisers in Roswell. That is one way
they have built up an immense bust
ness in a few years. They sell for
cash, and refund the money if there
is any dissatisfaction. In order to
do this, they must have confidence in
their own goods, and this confidence
is contagious.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

The B. Y P. U. gave a social and
ice cream supper on the Baptist
church lawn last night. A good sized
crowd was present and the young
people made about SIT on the affair.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

that keeps a separate record for the
sales of each clerk and prints a ticket
showing the amount of purchase to
be given eacn customer. The machine
is attracting lots of attention.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

The Cemetery Association will
meet tomorrow afternoon at the
home of Mrs. James Reaves. All the
members are urged to be present.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

The Daily Record would look dow
dy without the new "neckties' furn-
ished by Price & Co. two or three
times a week-across the top of the
first page always clean and stylish.
He also adyertises more extensively
on another page today.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

Of course there. are Democrats
who have criticised the Record for
expressing faith in the integrity of
Governor Hagerman; but the inter
ests of all the people are more i'm
portant than those of any political
party,-and so long as Governor Hag-
erman continues to make good. the
Record will try to forget that he is
a Republican.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

american NATIONAL BANK
OF ROSWELL,
at Roswell, in the Territory of New
Mexico, at the close of business, Sep
TENDER 4th, 1906.
Resources.
Loans and Discounts, 8 .e96. As
Overdrafts, secured and I'M
secured, .....- .......... 1920
U. S. Bonds to secure cir
culation, 1850. ........ 40, 100000
Premiums ON U. S. Bonds, 2,146.Oe
Banking house, furniture,
and fixtures, &........ 5,743.9 81
Due from National Banks
(not reserve agents) -. 1o,sos.71
Due from approved reserve
agents. ........ 1900. 22,sS2.2:
Checks and other cash items, 447.3(
Notes of other National
Banks, ........ ........ 2,s5o.oc
Fractional paper currency,
nickels, and cents, 1900. 61.41
Lawful Money Reserve in
Bank, viz
Specie, . g. :. s~13,410.0O
L~egal-tender notes, 100000 17,41O.OC
Due from U. S. Treasurer,
other than 5 per cent re-
demption fund, ....... 10000 70
TOTAL. ...... 1870. $1,000 74.42
Liabilities.
Capital stock paid in, $50 10000
Undivided profits, less ex-
penses and taxes paid. 1,246.51
National Bank notes out
standing, ........ ...... &C, 900. 90
Due to other National Banks, 999.97
Due to approved reserve
agents, .-...-. --...-.... Z9S.Oo
Individual Deposits sub
ject o check, .......... e4,s76.ss
Time certificates o de-
post, -........ 2,54s.OO
Cashiers checks outstd'g. 1000
s1oo OLA 10
Territory of New Mexico, County of
Chaves, SIS:
l, H. P. Saunders, Cashier of the
above-named bank, do so1emnly swear
hat the above statement is true to
he best of my knowledge n belief.
H. P. SAUNDERS, Cashier.
Correct-Attest:
GEO. NJ. SLAUGHTER,
w. P. LEWIS,
J. G. HEDGCOXE,
Directors.
Subscribed and sworn to before
ne this 9Th day of Sept, 1906.
GEO. E. FRENCH,
(SEAL) Notary Public.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

The Payton Drug, Book and t
tionery Co. is going after it's share
of the school book trade this fall
and the method pursued will produce
results. Every family must buy some
school books, but they might not
know the best place to get them IN
less they saw it in the Daily Record
The Western Grocery Co. has in
stalled a new National cash register,
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

The Roswell Building and Loan AS.
ISOLATION has a good subject for ad-
vertising, and handles it convincingly.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

The Santa Fe New Mexican seems
determined to commit suicide by
defending the old gang and opposing
the efforts of Governor Hagerman to
clean the rascals out.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

The Republican committee in ses-
sion at Albuquerque the first of the
week swallowed Bursum and And
and the old gang of grafters
without blinking.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-09-07

Did you ever notice an ad. of E.
H. Williams & 20. that was crowded?
They present only a few ideas at a
time, well emphasized, and the
crowding is all at the store
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-05-13

For summer tourists a good motto Is: The
closed mouth catches no insects,