davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

If the confessions of railroad men
themselves are to be taken as true the
enactment Of proposed railroad laws
would not-as has been charged against
them-take the power of rate making
out of the hands of the railroads. It
would rather take that power out Of
the hands of few large shippers. where
the power now seems to lie. unless a
mass of evidence that has lately been
accommodating is false. In a discussion
Of the private car evil. in the recent is
sue of McClure's magazine, railroad
helplessness of the railroads to enforce
rates against the dictation of Armour
and the Standard Oil. Tariffs are made
to suit the heaviest shippers. who have
demonstrated their ability to enforce
any demand, and the rates on ordinary
merchandise shipments are made with
reference to the losses sustained through
the unwillingness of the big shipper to
pay a profitable rate.-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
GOVERNOR HOCH.

1t is unfair to throw slurs at Cover
nor Hoch because Senator F. Dumont
Smith, one of the governor sEanHeii
supporters was indicted by the grand
jury One thing is positively known
bv the people Of Kansas, and that IS
Governor Hoch will have no accuse
tions of faint attached to his admins
tration, for Ed Hoch is above anything
of a corrupt or crooked transacuon.-
LaCygne Journal
That Governor Hoch is personally
above faint and corruption will be
generally admitted. The worst thing
that can be said against f. w. Hoch is
that he allowed himself to be en-
tangled with the worst gang of politi-
clans that ever disgraced the state.
some of the members of which are
corruptionists of the worst character
Mr.. Hoch was used by these men to
defeat Governor Bailey and to per-
petuate themselves in Office. That
they were successful is evidenced by
the reelection of T T. Kelly as state
treasurer and his continuation in Of
flee for a year of his new term, when
the people of the state expected that
there would be an immediate investi-
cation of the specific charges against
him and that he would be summarily
dismissed from Office if anything were
found wrong with him.
Kelly and some of his close asso-
ciates are said to have furnished most
of the money which financed the boss
buster campaign, and this has doubt
less made it very embarrassing for
Governor Hoch. The governor has
doubtless wished many times that KEEL
" and his crowd had no strings on
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

Il fear he yielded to the temptation to
enrich himself at the expense OF the poll
icyholders.'
That wasn't a temptation" replied the
cold-blooded fnancier. That was ar ops
portunity. w ashington Star.
The author, had been dragged fainting
my last book. he murmureds recovering
The, listeners. being of delicate percep-
ton, knew then that the book had fallen
dead from the press.-Philadclphi Led
ger.
Mr.. Baeon-When a woman tells fairy
story she always begins like this; Once
Mrs. Baeon-Ycs. ana when a man tells
a fairy story he always begins like this;
There, now, dear; don't be angry with
me- you see l. was Ike thjs.'-E onkers
Statesman
trouble2 You look as if you had come
from 4 funeral. or If your mother-in-
law had recovered from her last serious
Nothing of the sort old fellow. Fact
IS have Just received a letter from an
poem of mine I have been sending thar
poetry round to editors for the last three
years, and-I miss the thanks old man; I
miss the thanks. Town and Country.
He-How do you like my winter suit;
good fit don't you think?
She-WOrse than that. nv dear: a Der-
feet convulsion.-Princeton Tiger
Want my daughter, eh-what are your
Well; I own a gold mine
''No-woTking the public with it.,
Take her and be happy Life.
Tired Thompson-wuz yer ever before a
Judge?
Frozen Stiffe-I wuz.
Tired Tired T55 b. .13 did yet git2
married by d judge.-Judge.
Poets are born. sir said the bard ts
yes. knew they weren't Matched from
duck eggs answered the editor. But
the question is, why are they born2f'
Cleveland Leader.
That politician takes great credit to
himself for keeping his promises
I don't see why he should answered
Senator Sorghum. Anybody can keep a
promise, but it sometimes requires an art
list to break one. washington Star.
Il am as angry as I can be- snapped
Lne lady who had rented the fifth fat the
What is the trouble, mum?' asked the
Why. when I inquired about these fats
yo24 I s 53l they were heated by steam.
Ill, Ill did I'D not mum I said they had steam
From a hasty examination" said the
doctor Il am decidedly of the opinion
that you are suffering from the peculiar
trouble known as 'clergyman's sore
THE -- YOU saw exc1aiy,ad ~.
caller.
1T is quite possible. however. that
may oe wrong; will make another ex-
animation. Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. Skinamerhorn-Resign from the club
sell my dogs and move into a cheaper
house, Just because I've been losing q
little money on change? I can't do that
1t would make talk
Mrs. Skfmmerhorn-It would william,
People would say you had done a sensi-
Tribune.
g., All. my belovedr' he cried. fervently.
i. i am not rich in this worlds goods nor
am as clever as some men are But If
a tender and everlasting love goes fo1-
any anything"
IT goes. with me, all right she inter
rupted; But John, I'm afraid it won't
go with the butcher. ''-Cleveland Leader
Why don't YOU let EN- vote?' asked
the russian who had been to America
But they might not vote for me- re-
What do you care whom they vote for
as long as you do the counting?'-VVash-
ingtOn Star. - e-SAA
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
IRON the New York Press.I

TFrom the New York Press.I
A girl has got to have a beau If he Is
only in q story book
1t takes almost as many clothes for
baby that is coming as for a brides
trousseau.
One Of the greatest problems OF mod
ern society is stairs when Won come
home late at night
A man would hardly ever mind being
married If he didn't have to acquire SO
many good habits.
A girls idea of a happy time is being
at party which she knows is going to
give her sick headache in the morning
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

$4,000. which Devlin paid for KeIIy's
bond for the use of the half million
dollars he was using. Then comes the
cheek of the thing: Kelly turns
around and takes money out OF the
treasury and pays for his old bond.
Kelly is a 'Korker'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

.. 3. OdeH claims to have issued ad-
vance copies of a book he has written
with the title, What I Know About
Roosevelt and Higgins" Is this some
more fads and fancies?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

The state Journal is a member of the
associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
8anisation for exclusive evening publi-
The state Journal receives for exclusive
2u6hcation the leased wire report of the
Eubhshers Press for the edition for Sun
gay morning.
The news is received in the State Jour
aaI building over wires for this sole pur-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
DANGER AFEAD.

Royalty is setting a bac example. The
fact that Princess Louise gets a million
dollars and two hundred and fifty thou
sand year as alimony may lead the
wives of Kansas farmers into the di-
vorce courts.-Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

The farmer who can read Secretary
Wilson'S glowing and auroral report
without feeling alfred rich and pros
porous may be set down as an incur
able and unimaginative pessimist-=
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

The Cuba Daylight says that S. S.
drummer, deputy bank examiner. is
thinking OF getting into the race for
state auditor. Mr.. drummer claims
Republic county as his home. and D.
e.. Wilson, of the same county, has
also been casting longing eyes towards
the auditors office.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

A pretty good brand of brotherly
love seems to exist between A. Q.
Miller and Tom Charles, the rival edi-
tors at Belleville. In his New Years
edition of the Telescope Mr.. Miller
publishes a group picture Of the entire
once force of the Freeman, Mr..
Charles paper.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
JUST uNLAWFuL

There are sixty-eight counties in Ken
lucky where 1t is unlawful to sell whis-
ky. That's nothing. Counting Wyan-
dotte and Leavenworth there are one
hundred and Ave counties in Kansas
where it is unlawful to sell whisky
Parsons Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
A Friend of Her Youth.

For mercy sake don't put me near old
Billions" said Mrs. Lookyoung, to her
friend.
why not?" said the other. Hes aw-
fully interesting"
Il know it, said Mrs. Lookyoung,
but I never sit next to him at dinner
but that he blurts out something like,
You remember back in the old pioneer
daysl' Detroit Free Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

What about the Chicago rfver?" asks
the Record Herald This paper pleads
ignorance as to what it is, but it must
be confessed that there is something
about the Chicago river that should be
renovated, disinfected and buried-Sa-
lima Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

That British fleet which Rojest-
vensky claims was laying for him in the
Sea of Japan is probably the one he
meant to fire on when he was passing
through the North. sea. He seems to
have got them confnsaa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
OF COuRsE NOT.

A man at Pratt, who became enraged
and threw a milk-stool at a COW he was
trying to milk, missed the COW and
struck his wife. Good enough. No
loyal and loving wife will stand around
in idleness and let her husband do the
milking.-Lawrenc World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
A lesson in PoIiteness.

In front Of one of the big stores of
upper Broadway stood an old man,
small in stature, dressed plainly, and
meek and accommodating in manner,
says the New York Press. Two men
in blue jumpers were busy cleaning
the windows, and their movements
kept the old man moving from place
to place to keep out of their way.
After cleaning the windows the men
got brooms and started to sweep the
sidewalk. This kept the old man
moving about more than before, and
his movements annoyed the men.
Say" said one of them, finally,
why don't you get a move on? You've
been standing around here long
enough anyway. Beat it,
The old gentleman gazed at him
mildly and retreated inside the store.
In few minutes an Office boy came
running out, called to the man In the
blue jumper and conducted him to the
managers Office, where he found the
kindly old gentleman seated at a desk.
Bill" said the manager, "this gen.
tleman wants you to do him favor.
sYessir." said Bill. reddening and
dropping his eyes. "Yessir.''
And. Bill" continued the manager,
suavely, you'd better do it,
Yes. Bill" said the old man, kind
ly. 4 want you to stand there and re-
peat after me, politely and courteously
viii you please step to one side,
sir Say it."
"W-w-will you p-p-pIease step to
one side. sir?" stammered Bill.
That's right" said the old gentle
man. Here's dollar for you. 1
hope 1t didn't hurt"
mo, sir" said Bill. Then he went
back to his work.
'.Who was the guy. Bill?' queried
his companion, as Bill began to wear
holes in the sidewalk with his broom.
81 dunno said Bill, stopping to
mop the cold perspiration from his
brow. ct was afraid to ask"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
DTFFERENT.

Longworth can be depended on as one
of the presidents supporters in the
house" says an exchange. This differs
from the usual order of things where the
father-in-law is generally depended on
in the house.-Cherryval Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

a British medical publication ad-
vises against reading Mark Twain's
books on THE ground that they are too
humorous. That is where American
humor differs from English humor
ParadoxicaI as it may seem, English
humor is funny chiefly because it isn't
humorous.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

Senator LaFoHette has now been in
ehe senate four days and nothing has
yet happened. LaFonette isn't living
% TO his advance notices.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT OF
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS EVERY
WEEK DAY AND PUBLISHERS
PRESS REPORT ON SATURDAY
NIGHT FOR THE EDITION FOR
SUNDAY MORNING.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

President Orr, the new man who is at
khe head of the New York Life. will re-
ceive only $4,000 a year. SO he is no
more valuable than the president of the
United states
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
TOUGH On TIE RACE.

If there were no marriages until
every intending benedict had a salary
of at least $1,000, race suicide would
be a regular cyclone.-Chicago Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

New York hnanciers who are becom-
ing short Of funds see a financial panic
looming UP ahead Of them unless plan
to make the currency elastic-that is.
80 that they can stretch their money-is
promulgated in the near future.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
MILWAUKEE's MISSION.

The Frenchman who predicts that
the people of the world viii die of
thirst in the course of a few centuries
is undoubtedly ignorant of AIilwau-
KEGS facilities for the prevention of
such a Observation-Disclosures Wiscon-
san.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

Rojestvensky says the British feet
was loafng around in the Sea of Japan
ready to do him up in case Japan failed.
But how does that help Rojestvensky's
easeP
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
me Real Hoe and the Amateur.

An Ambitious Ant that had long been
watching a Hearty Hog devour the
Pink Pippins as they fell from a Tree
in the Orchard, soliloquized.
What Futile FooHshness for me to
climb so far for a Taste of Apple. BY
Simply Waiting they will come to me-"
So Aunty took up her position by the
that fell crushed her to death
All" murmured the Hog. between
bites. you are not the first Little Thing
to meet Calamity by trying to fill the
role of a Hog
Moral: Small Investors should not
take themselves for Trusts.-Los An
geles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

We'll, we got those horses east
without killing anybody" remarked
w Il. Snedaker, of the Illinois Cen
tral, who accompanied the three
train loads of Haggin thoroughbreds
as Tar as Chicago, but we put a yard
master at Waterloo, Ia, completely
out of business for tWenty-four hours
GU see, it was like this: The special
Travelled with in company with John
Mackay stopped at Waterloo for wa
ter All of the cars had to be watered
at regular intervals, and at convenient
points hose would be run into each
waterloo two men were waiting to fill
up the barrels with fresh water for
the horses.
- Can you shut off the water when
[ yell?' said one of the men, as he
climbed into one of the cars with a
three inch hose.
g can that said the other.
Well then, turn 'er on said the
man inside.
In few moments he was yelling
to have the water turned off, and as
it wasn't turned off promptly he
threw the hose out through the door.
Then the worst happened. The three
inch stream hit the yardmaster fairly
on the point of the chin and put him
completely out of business. He was
lifted up and carried over to a dry
place on a siding, and fifteen minutes
trance. He started to lift himself up.
and then, looking at the crowd around
him. he said:
s. We're there many people killed in
the wreck p San Francisco Chron-
icle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

Among the G1assworkers," is the
heading of a twO-column department
in the Coheyville Record. Glass MAX
ing is one of the principal industries of
that thriving city, and yet probably
three-fourths of the people of Kansas
know nothing about it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
AND SOME STAY

There are certain subtle distinctions
of aristocracy in all phases of exist
ence. Some grafters go straight to
jain and others merely retire to phi
waite l3fe.-Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
Slow Horses.

It was during mess hour at a saw
mill camp that the slowness of horses
came up for discussion.
There's Kelly's old gray: you
couldn't whip her into trot." said one.
"Johnson's black mare will beat that;
she refuses to help herself to the barley
at night, for most times she isn't
through eating her dinner said an
other.
"OId Waters spindle shank takes the
prize" put in a third: she's double
jointed in the knee-she walks both
ways at once"
Il stood out on the road" drolled
Shepard, coming in late for his dinner,
for twenty minutes talking to Myers;
and all that time his bay mare never
stopped. San Francisco Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

The earth is quaking again around
Rome. 1t isn't a marker however, to
Ehe quaking that some of the New York
Insurance officials are doing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
PREsENTs zoe AIICE-

If the affairs of a nation are con-
Quoted as those at a cross roads, only
on a larger scale, every politician in
the country who is looking for a job
will send Alice Roosevelt a pieae Of cut
glass.=Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

Some people are worrying about
what Walter Wellman will do with the
North Pole if he should find it. That,
however. is not bothering Mr.. Well
man. The possibilities are too remote
70 cause him any loss Of sIeen.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

government to give her $4,000, zoe.
The old lady has applied at an unfor-
tunate time. The easy money game is
rather unpopular just nOw.-Chicago
Record Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

Commissioner Garfield says the beef
trust Is too big for any one state to
handle. Still, the beef trust is on the
list of protected Infant INDUSTRIES
Washington Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
ANOTHER VERSION.

Then, too, it might be made to read
this way: Eternal villainy is the
price of insurance. Cha rleston News
and Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

The car seems to be boss in Russia
lfter ALL At least Witte has never sue
Beeded in resigning.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

Los Angeles claims a man has
walked all the way there from New
York. OF course we can understand
1ais anxiety to get away from New
York. but how did he ever happen to
get past Kansas? He probably went
CONC other wav
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

John A. Mccall says he is a poor
man" and he viii have to call ON his
wife to help him pay his note to the
New York Life. Pehaps Mrs. Mccall
has been getting his pay envelope
each week containing that 100000
erfarz
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

seem to be having a regular Theodore
Roosevelt-a Henry NJ. Whitney time
over the question of who started that
railroad rate row in Ohio.-Atlanta
Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
LOTS or EM

George Washington's Ratchet has been
found on the Mount Vernon estate and
Will be sold to all the reIic-hunters who
will purchase.-HuteE1ns News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
KANSAS cOMAENT
IN THE WAKE or JOHN /.

IN TIE " AXE OF JUN I.
Well, Sullivan has come and gone
plate covering Of any would-be Corey
vile pug because OF the visit. A whole
hide is something to be thankful for
COfeyville Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
ODELI.

Gov. Oden is threatening to Tell All
That means he is a goner. The poll
ticiaR who begins talking is the dead
one.-Lawrence Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
nANcEROuS

Having failed in revolution, the Fill
pinos have adopted a more subtle
weapon. They have sent a strong lob
by to Washingt on.-Atlanta Constitu-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

Some people reverence wealth be
cause they have such a lot of it, and
others because they haven't but would
like to.-Richmond Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
FROA OTHER PENS
GETTING EVEN.

A Louisville wife refused to kiss her
husband, and he took poison; a Charles
ton husband refused to kiss his wife
and she shot him.-Milwaukee Senti-
no
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
PREVARICATORs.

The Chefoo and several other able
liars appear to have settled in the Pan
anna canal belt.-Chicago Record-Her-
aid.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

Here is a comment of the South
western Banker on the methods of
state Treasurer Kelly. Kelly did not
draw any interest on the states money
aa1ositad with the DevssE bank--cply
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

Mr.. Lawson appears to have been
another of those theorists whose ideas
failed to work out when given praci-
cal application.-Detr Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

d. j. Hanna, is now holding down
three ofces-the lieutenant governors
office, a big real estate office, and a
Motel office. the two latter in Hill City.
Somebody ought to pass resolutions
against Mr.. Hanna corraling all the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

'The difference between an insurance
official and a policy holder, says the
Los Angeles Express, lis that one helps
himself and the other can't help him
self" We move to amend by saying
this is one difference. There are others.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
sTILL AT m.

I am reading, [ am reading.
am reading night and day,
/ am reading Roosevelt's message
In a steady-going way.
have knocked of other duties
As, indeed, 1 found I must;
And I'm going to read that message,
By the Great Horn Spoon or bust.
am reading, I am reading
1 am reading-hear me shout
And hope to have it finished
Ere he gets the next one out.
w ]. hampton in the New York World
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

That politician takes great credit to
himself for keeping his promises"
4 dom see why he should. - answered
senator Sorghum. Anybody can keep a
list to break one. '-Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06
HVMOR OF TIE Day

Il fear he yielded to the temptation to
enrich himself at the expense OF the poll
icyholders"
THAT wasn't a temptation" replied the
cOld-blooded financier. THAT was ar ops
portunity. w Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

Mr. Observation-Disclosures from the club
sell my dogs and move into a cheaper
house just because I've been losing a
little money on change? I can't do that
1t would make talk
Mrs. Skimmerhorn-It would, William
People would say you had done d sensi-
pie thing, for once in your life-Chicaeo
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-06

Poets are born. sir said the bard ts
the editor.
Yes. I knew they weren't Matched from
duck eggs. answered the editor. But
the question is, why are they born 2ff-
Cleveland Leader.