davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-02
You Ought TO See Henry.

NO, I amt kicking. It's up to the
managers to do that. and they can only
kick at whoever it was that jumped us
straight from New Orleans to open
here with Mr.. Semon. My brother
Harry, whose place / have taken as
Brother Johns partner, is much thin
ner than /, and it's all the better for
Mr.. Semon that Harry didn't remain in
the team. Two of him could hide be-
hind me-
What became of Henry?" INQUIRED
Mr. Hastings, who accompanied me-
Hes staying at home, writing STUFF
for comedians and making more money
than IL he were on the road" was the
reply. He's too delicate to stand
stage work. for he has locomotor
ataxia, rheumatism, neuralgia, heart
disease and weak lungs
Whats the matter with Appendix
citis?" the promoter of publicity asked,
and his tone denoted incredulity.
He has no room for it." was the
amiable rejoinder. Hes thinner than
all the rest of our family put together.
and there are eight boys of u.s. But
you amt so Falstaffian yourself"
NO. but I'm never mistaken for
Mo- il on the door. nor has any one
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-02
Penalty of Toe-BaIancfng

His legs are even simmer than
yours I remarked. surveying the beam
pole neither limbs that Semon was
mainly reliant upon to make good his
claim to the title of narrow feller 4
Mines thicker than they ought 10
be-" he mourned, land it's my own
fault. Just feel how hard that calf Is
He projected a leg in my direction
and I complied with his request. The
calf was adamantine-
THAT muscle has been built by sway
ing upon my toes when I'm playing
the piccolo," he explained. 'Ive got
to cut 1t out"
THE muscle?"
mo; the swaying. And since I cut
out smoking I've gained five pounds in
weight
Most of it seems to have concen-
trated IN your face" I remarked.
He turned to the mirror and nervous
ly massaged one Of his jowls.
But my complexion has improved
since quit tobacco" he retorted. some
what resentfully, I thought. AT any
rate, I can make comedy without de-
pending altogether on the thinness Of
my legs. Wait till you hear the women
laugh when 1 seem to have trouble in
keeping up my kilt. That's always a
sure co.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-02
He Made the Ladies Laugh

I waited, and the women did laugh
most heartily at his apparent endeavor
to prevent his abbreviated Highland
skirt from slipping it's mornings.
Pretty much the same sort Of thing
was done by the Scotchman in THE
Idols Eye" but consideration of Mr..
Semon's already embittered temper re-
strained me from informing him of
that fact He did not neglect to en-
phasize his scrawniness while on the
stage, however, despite the fact that
Mr.. Dillon had already surfeited those
present with similar business.
I'll give you an imitation of Ma
poleon," said Mr.. Semon in the course
of his act. Then he struck the favorite
pictured attitude of the Little Corporal
and, pointing to his knobby knees.
added, 'if you don't think / look like
Napoleon look at my bony part After
which he twisted his legs into all sorts
of grotesque tangles as he walked. But
this is not intended to contravert his
declared ability to amuse the public
without calling it's attention to his lack
of physical symmetry
Mr.. Dillon, whom I subsequently, in
terviewed, very earnestly disclaimed
responsibility for the managerial per-
turbation.
1T ain't my fault he averred, that
Semon and / are doing much the same
thing on the same bill The managers
must have known that one of the Dill
lon brothers is thin and that his thin
ness is used to help the act, for the
Dillon Brothers appeared at the
Orpheum two years ago. OF course.
we couldn't cut out our best lines and
business to help Mr.. Semon any more
than he could change his turn to help
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-02
Narrow, but Courageous

AS l pondered on this expert opinion
The Narrow Teller" assembled in my
esteem. To his other admirable quail
ties was added that of bravery. For
is not he performing alone ready to
sink or swim with his individual en-
deavor to amuse, while other emaciated
entertainers take unto themselves
partners to serve as foils to their
physical slimness? AS witness the Dill
lon brothers and the numerous fat and
thin Dutch teams" with which the
vaudeville stage is more or less af-
fiicted. What would the thin Dutch
man amount to as a laugh maker II
he did not have the fat Dutchman to
conversation" with and occasionally
assault and batter? How much of a
hit would the meagerly- fieshed mem
Der of the Dillon twain make If he
were going it alone and did not have
brother John to twit him on his skinny
legs and slender torso? And there Is
the gallant Marrow Feller,,' depend
ing upon no direct physical contrast
whatever to assist him in killing EN-
dead" or knocking EN- OUT or max
ing EN- sit UP" or forcing 'em to
scream"
Truly all courageous hearts do not
throb meath soldiers coat-but that
reminds me that THE Narrow Teller"
does wear an exaggerated military uni
form while he performs a portion OF
his turn"
Wonder If he wears it to keep up
his pluck?
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-02

II T WAS one of those perplexing pre-
/ dicaments that occasionally over
1 take mortals who fail to reckon
with fate while they are planmak-
- ing.
Like a bolt from the blue it de-
scended upon the Orpheum's executive
staff last Sunday afternoon just prior
TO curtain-rise. OF the artists an
nounced to open their engagement at
the matinee were two whose perform
anee savored quite of similarity. One
of them was Comedian Semon, who has
been extensively advertised THE
Narrow Feller," and the other was a
Dillon brother, baptized Lawrence, who
also depended upon thinness of person
for laugh getting. 1t is not paradox
cal to say that the programme was
overweighted with lightness.
What could be done about it? If the
two emaciated gentlemen were equally
rated in the booking or the billing the
question would have been less vexa-
tious. But to Mr.. Semon belonged
headline" distin ton and all the pro-
negatives pertaining thereto, includ-
gramme which usually is the number
preceding that which designates the
moving pictures. OF course Mr.. Semon
could not sanely be expected to trelin-
uuish that coveted location even to get
ahead of an act that threatened to ex-
haust the audiences relish for the
anatomical inadequacy that was his
forte
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-02
Reparfee and Persihage

stick to cod liver oil, or you can't
tell what may happen" the comedian
kindly advised.
That's pleasanter to take than
vinegar with every meal, was the re-
tort
Don't think it of me-" pleaded the
professional provoker of mirth. Il. could
steadily stuff myself with f1esh-build
ing grub and continue to lose flesh
if I had any to lose With some people
thinness is a remediable disease. With
me it's an incurable habit. Some peo-
pie could confine their diet to dry
toast infrequently consumed, and still
fail to keep down their avoirdupOis.
If the allusion was directed to any
other Orpheum performer, there was
nothing in the speakers manner to
indicate whom He did not even glance
toward the dressing-room In which
The Narrow Teller" still struggled
with his toilet
Comedian Otis Harlan, OF whom :!
was once remarked that three Of him
were requisite to the casting of a dim
shadow, recently told an Eastern news
paper that he never could understand
how he managed to make people laugh
before he acquired stoutness. Since
I became fat" he said, Il see my audi
ences go into commissions of mirth
over some line uttered by me that did
not provoke even a smile when I was
of graceful girth. The rotund comedian
has a good advantage over the thin
one"
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-02
Managerial Announcements

So great has been the success Of Jes-
sic Busley and her supporting COM
pany and so great the demand for seats
at the Colonial Theater that 1t has been
determined to continue the present en-
gagement of I'm the Bishops Car
riage" until next Sunday evening. This
will enable those who have been un-
able to obtain admittance to the per-
formances last week to witness the
great little actress in her wonderful
portrayal of the girl thief. There can
be no further continuance of the en-
gagement, as the Colonial stock COM
pany returns from its road tour to open
in THE County Fair" the evening of
December 10.
One token OF the dramatic values of
I'm the Bishops Carriage" is seen in
the attitude of its audiences. Tense
interest, broken only momentarily by
the amusing episodes. of the plots de-
velopment. is manifested and, although
the play and it's performers win many
curtain calls during the progress of
the action, the enthusiasm of those
who see it is greatest when the final
curtain comes.
New people to appear at the Orpheum
this afternoon are the Four Lukens,
who have originated some of the most
celebrated aerial athletics; Albert Bell
man and Lottie Moore, presenting "A
Bit of Vaudeville" and the Brothers
Kechly, herculean acrobats. Charles F.
Semon, THE Narrow Feller" will be
heard in new anecdotes and musical
eccenticitias; the Dillon Brothers will
continue to sing their own songs Tro-
vollo will introduce new ventriloquial
features. and the Four AVOIDS. xylo-
phonists, Lena Pantzner, tightwire
artist and the moving pictures ara ~
round out the programme
MY Tomboy Girl said to be the best
play in the Elleford repertoire. will
be the new bill at the Davis Theater
tomorrow night. 1t will bring out the
full strength Of the company and some
scenic surprises.
I'm Paris" is to remain at the Cen
trail Theater until further notice. and,
report says, is to be succeeded by a
the Lambardi Company, now at Los
Angeles.
Orders by mail for the Maxine Elliott
engagement at the Novelty Theater
will not be accepted by Gottlob, Marx &
Co. after next Wednesday, as the list
already registered has reached such
proportions to necessitate this step.
The regular sale of seats Will open on
Thursday morning, December 10. at
the homogeneous. office, Van Ness ave-
nue. and Geary street.
Miss Elliott is bringing her en-
tire New York company and produc-
ton to the Novelty for five nights and
one matinee, during the week of De-
cember. II, and Gottlob, Marx & Co.
have leased the theater for that time.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-02
Frances Starr "AniYes"

Frances Starr, once of the Alcazar
stock is now in the unique position of
having her surname designate her po-
sition. She is nearly the whole thing
in The Rose of the Rancho David
Belasco's revision of Richard Walton
Tullys "Juanita.' One OF the Boston
critics had this to say about Frances
"A pleasant surprise of the produc-
ton has been the arrival of Miss Fran
ces Starr. Mr.. .Belasco permitted the
rumor to escape that she was coming,
but the premier performances last
Tuesday proved conclusively that she
has arrived and is hereafter to be reck-
oned as one of Americas foremost
leading women, with promises Of even
more for the future. She scored a sue
cess which is almost without an equal.
all things considered.
We are just. dying to learn New
York's verdict.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-02
By James Crawford

been so absent-minded as to pick me
up and try to hoist me as an umbrella"
Mr.. Hastings returned, quoting some
of the Dillon brothers stage gags.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-21

Messrs. F. III. Eastman, Taylor Weir and
DR.. G. T. Mankin. The flower girls, Cath
crime Talbot, niece of the groom, and
Eleanor Kingsley, niece of the bride. wore
white organizes. with pink rosettes, and
carried chrysanthemums.
Among those present was Miss Van Or
den of New York, godmother of the bride.
After. the reception at the Naples the
home OF the bride, the couple left for a
trip through the mountains of Virginia.
very quiet wedding which took place
yesterday afternoon was that of Miss Alice
King to Mr.. Richard Policy. The ceremony
was performed by the Rev. E. Hez. Sven
of the Second Baptist Church, at the resi-
dence of the brides parents, Ill NJ street
friends and relatives. The couple left for
Annapolis, Md, where they will reside. The
bride wore very becoming travelling dress
of dark blue cloth. They received many
very useful presents
Miss Catherine Doyle entertained a num-
Der of her young friends at her parents
home Friday evening, the occasion being the
anniversary Of her twelfth birthday. A de-
hghtful time was spent and enjoyed by all.
MISS Mabel Sonntag rendered selections on
the piano, games were INDUCED in and re-
freshments served by the young hostess. An
interesting feature was the visit of Willie
Goat whose specialties were particularly
pleasing. Among those present were: Marion
Nichols, Margaret White, Bertha Riley.
Roberta Doyle, Eleanor Martin, Mabel
Sonntag. Lester Sonntag, Elizabeth White,
Bessie Wilks, Alice Fowler. Hazel Tichenor
Carrie Sellers, George Sellers and Agnes
Jones, Alice Nicho's, Lille Settle Francis
Collins. Albert Collins, Herbert Nichols,
Kopert Acorn, Holton Chisnl. William Lit
Torrey, Robt. E. Doyle, 3r., Ernest Nc
DUEL, Samuel Tichenor.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-21

summer experiences, especially noting the
patriotic features.
The Legion of Loyal Women gave a de-
lightfuliy planned and carried out euchre
evening recently under the able manage
ment of committee, of which Mrs. +. G.
Pomeroy was chairman. Nothing was left
undone to make the affair success. the
winners of the games receiving handsome
prizes. Refreshments were served.
The Excelsior Literary Club met with
Mrs. Seely, 1920 New Jersey avenue. Tues
day, the president, Mrs. Emerson, in the
chair. Responses to roll call were histori-
cal quotations. The following delegates
were then elected to represent the club at
the annual meeting of the federation: Mrs
DR.. Baker. Mrs. Emma A. Hawkes., Miss
Flora AlcCreery and Mrs. Addie w. Eos
ter for director. Mrs. Bradley then read
original essay on The Early Settlements"
which received favorable comments. Short
sketches were given by Mrs. Emerson on
Rensselaer, Grant, by Mrs. Engle on Peter
Stuyvesant, with an account of some of
the old buildings, such as St. AIMS Church
at Annapolis and the old Dutch church a
Tarrytown, built in 169a, supplemented with
fine Illustrations; Mrs. Foster on Jumel
mansion Washington's headquarters. The
club adjourned to meet next with Mrs.
Trauty.
The auxiliary committee of the board OF
the Florence Crittenton mission held its
monthly meeting Tuesday. After the usual
lunch Mrs. Simpson, the president, called
the meeting to order and the minutes
read. Mrs. Emma Ellis, secretary of the
ways and means committee, suggested plans
to raise money; it was reported that the
Josephine Circle wanted to give a concert
in November and preparations are being
made for rummage sale. Mrs. Wood
ported successful meeting of the Critter-
ton Wheel Club. Mrs. Barrett will return
from New York to speak this evening at
the North Carolina NJ. E. Church
L. s. Grant Circle. No. l, Ladies of the
G. A. r., will be at home. Grand Army
Hall, Tuesday evening. October q. The
CESS, president; Miss Rose NJ Seton,
junior vice president; Mrs. Dora ]. b. Hen
dirk, secretary; Mrs. Belle H. Gibson. treas
urer; Mrs. Mary E. Houghtaling chaplain;
Mrs. N. A. Wyman, conductress Mrs Mary
V. Moore, guard; Mrs. Mary f. Kellogg,
assistant conductress; Mrs. Addie E. Per-
kins, assistant guard.
The Laurel Social Club gave its second
dance of the season Tuesday night at
Naval Lodge Hall, Pennsylvania avenue
southeast. d. w. Leman, president of the
club. and his assisting officers, have brought
the club to a prosperous condition.
The first meeting of the season of MEM
bers Of Continental Chapter. Daughters OF
the American Revolution, was held last
Wednesday evening at the Ebbitt House.
The transaction OF routine business and
a recital of the work that had been done
during the summer was in order.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-21
NEWS OF FREDERICKSBURG.
Kearney Camp, Confederate Veterans
Honors Mrs. Davis Memory.

Honors Mrs. Davis Memory.
Special Correspondence Of The Star.
FREDERICKSBURG Va, October 10, 1905.
At a meeting Of Kearney Camp of Con-
federate Veterans Of this city Thursday
evening resolutions of respect were adopted
to the memory Of Mrs. Jefferson Davis
and committee Of veterans was appointed
to attend the funeral in a body as repre-
sentatives Of the camp, as follows: A. B.
towering, DR.. j. w. Rosero, r. T. Knox,
Capt Dan NJ. Lee, Capt. S. ]. Quin, Rev.
Dr. r. j. McBryde, Thomas F. Proctor,
r. c. Hart, w. E. Bradley, John ]. Berry
and Judge John T. Goodrich.
The train bearing the remains Of Mrs.
Davis was met at the depot by commit
tee from the Daughters of the Confederacy
and the Memorial Association, who placed
wreaths on the bier.
Miss Flora Randolph Mason. daughter Of
Judge and Mrs. John E. Mason of this
city, has been selected as sponsor for the
Sons Of Veterans Of the first district at the
confederate reunion, which will be held at
Roanoke.
William Callahan, an aged and much re-
spected citizen of Stafford county, died at
his home In that county yesterday. aged
eighty-five years. Several children survive
him.
George Talcott Lancaster Of West Vir-
ginia and Miss Mary Elizabeth Chapman
of Standardsville were married Thursday
at Standardsville by Rev. c. E. Moore.
Grover Cleveland Houston and Miss Anna
L. Carneal, both Of Caroline county, were
married Wednesday at the residence of the
officiating minister, Rev. DR.. J. NJ. McMan-
away, at Bowling Green.
Marlboro fishing shore, on the Potomac
river, was sold at public auction yesterday
by Judge A. T. Embrey Of this city, who
acted as special commissioner. The same
was purchased by Mr.. William A. Fauntz
of Washington for the sum Of $1,000.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-21
News Of Vienna.

Special Correspondence OF Inc ctar
VIENNA, Va, October 20, 1905.
A meeting of the Teachers Association
of Providence district. Fairfax county. was
held at the Vienna school house this morn
ing. Superintendent Of County Schools
NJ d. Hall was present and addressed the
association. Much business of importance
was transacted.
Mrs. Paul Richmond and two of her chill
dren have been quite Ill for week, but
are slowly convalescing.
The engament Is announced Of Miss
Anne Gordon Keith. a niece OF Judge James
Keith of the Virginia supreme court Of ap-
peals, and Edward M. Spilman Of Warren
ton.
Revival services will be held in the Meth
odist Episcopal Church at Vienna, begin
ming tomorrow.
Plans have been adopted for a Methodist
Episcopal Church at Wiehle.
A representative of the United States fish
commission has been looking after the finny
tribes in this territory for several days
A number of the young friends of Miss
Emily May rendered here a surprise party
last evening. her birthday anniversary.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-21
TRUE TO LIFE.
Exhibition of Kicking After the
Manner Of MAUD"

A true-to-life exhibition of the art of kick
ing, made famous by Maud" was afforded
the employees OF the District building, police
headquarters and the other buildings in the
vicinity. and all other persons who hap
pened to be passing in the neighborhood at
noon yesterday.
This Maud" although possessed with
every bit of the kicking energy and per-
sistency as the Maud" Of cartoon fame
was a beautiful little clean-cut sorrel marc,
and not a big lanky mule. The animal be-
came frightened at something while stand
ing at a curb near 9Th and D streets. and.
breaking loose from the buggy, ran toward
the District building. where It was stopped
while leaping in the air, by H. M. Dickn-
son, q local athlete. 1t was while he was
holding the mare to await the arrival of the
owner that the exhibition of kicking was
given. According to witnesses the horse
while being held licked vigorously in every
direction for a period of ten minutes.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-21

you locate your little place all you need
is a few dollars, lot of hopeful persever
ance and the ability to make change for
quarter; for it's mostly a penny business,
and l seldom handle so much fifty
cents-there's your coming.
and when the woman who had waited
returned from her suburban trip she sat
right down and wrote this message of Jen-
ME Wren's to the woman who wants to
make living but is handicapped, because
she has no trade and her hair is gray.
Two people were going along New York
avenue, and this is what one Of them was
saying as they passed a plain woman in
black:
well, she doesn't know whether she Is
happily married or not. Her husband beats
her on Thursdays and takes her buggy
riding Sunday afternoons"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-21

in tailored suits for women's and misses
dresses, coats, waists, skirts, furs and fur
lined coats. Gowns for evening, in the
newest foreign and domestic modes, are
in all the fashionable fabrics, such as pom
padour, chiffon, vol de sole, marquisette,
laces, crepe, etc. Special dresses for to-
morrow are of crepe de chine and radium
silks over best quality taffetas, trimmed
with lace and handwork and the new
jumper dresses of French wolfe. all coors,
effectively trimmed. The millinery salon
is a display that according to the house.
represents hats that fairly breathe Paris
in everything but price"
FAMILY SHOE STORE. - women's
smart fall boots are to be found at this
store in all correct materials, built on
lasts that combine fashion and ease.
Among the special models to which the
house calls attention this week are the
Betsy Ross in the latest models. as
well as all the old favorites; the Edith, a
college girls boot. and the Exquisite,
boots in ideal patent kid and Germania
vci Mems shoes that are models of shoe
craftsmanship include DR.. Janon's hygienic
shoes; high art shoes and Capitol spe-
cias.''
w. B. MOSES & SONS announce bargains
in practically every department of their big
establishment Odd pieces and broken lines
of furniture. cut rolls of carpet, rug rem
nants, small lots of portieres and lace cur
tains. and special lot of orientaf rugs pur-
chased under price all OF which combined
should make this store a popular shopping
center throughout the coming week. The
house is making a picture feature of two
copies of London club chairs, of finest oak
grain machine buffed leather and of fine
construction, at a discount on regular
prices.
SELINGERS guarantee that every pair
of glasses bought at the store will give alb
so;ute satisfaction. A special leader for the
coming week is a pair of solid gold spring
rimless eyeglasses with case and guard.