davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
JANA WKER JOTS

Council Groves to have a ladies
band"
Canton. out in Mcpherson county,
has pear tree in full bloom for a sec
ond time this year.
There is a rumor afoat that the
Solomon branch of the Union Pacific
is to be extended up to the Limestone
valley from Beloit TO Kearney, Neb.
August Schmitt, a Wabaunsee coun-
ty farmer, has just cut his fifth crop
of alfalfa this year, and it yields ton
to the acre That's pretty good, even
for Kansas.
The Glen Sentinel says that town
needs a Jail in which to lodge those
who tarry long at the cup and who
look upon the wine when 1t Is the
wrong color, while they sober up.
Speaking of versatility. Brown
county merchant recently sold two $500
monuments, our best Woodmansee
wind mill and tower, two cypress
tanks and three corn cribs in one day.
Among the Halloween pranks at
Lebanon, the boys tipped over the
town cooler" and the Argus warns
them that they may land in the peni-
exhibit such disregard for the means
of preserving law and order
The Robinson Index tells this story
s'on'' Toby Larson, of the Highland Vi
dette: One day his compositor came
to him and said there was a tramp at
the door that says he has had moth
ing to eat for six days Fetch him
in, says Tobias. IF we can find out
how he does 1t. we can run the Vi
dette another week"
Wouldn't this story jar you? It is
told by the Emporia Gazette: Henry
Good, who lives northwest of town, had
a sore neck the other day and wanted
to be unusually careful net to jar him
self in any way. as a slight jolt hurt.
He started across a field of plowed
ground, and fell on his face and nearly
tainted from the pain. He got up and
went home, and started to town to see
a doctor. Mrs. Good drove, so he
would not be jerked by the horses
pulling on the lines, and she drove into
a ditch and threw them both out on
their heads. Mr.. Good finally saw the
doctor and went home, and that night
at the supper table, both front legs of
his chair fell out and he landed on the
floor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
HeIped steal els own Hoe.

well-to-do farmer of Gardiner,
Me-. was awakened late one night
about year ago by some one loudly
pounding on his door When he asked
what was wanted he was informed
that lone man was taking a hog to
town in a sheep cart. and in some way
piggy had escaped. Would the farmer
be so kind as to assist him to reload
piggy.
In a few minutes the farmer came
down, and made short work of loading
piggy into the sheep cart. The other
man, with many thanks, resumed his
journey, and the farmer went back to
bed.
The next morning the farmer rose
early and began doing his chores. By
and by it came piggy's turn to be fed,
but piggy was gone. A large gap in
the fence explained his absence.
Then 1t dawned upon the farmer
that he had got up in the night and
helped steal his own hog.-Exchange
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
There's Money In Chickens.

There's money in Chickens - said
the pet stock dealer. why, in the
cock fighting days the Hayden cock
brought $4,000. He'd bring $1,000
even now.
Il know a stock raiser who owns a
$1,000 cock, a prize winner, one of the
finest birds that ever lived. Every
year he puts this cock in run with a
pen of hens worth from 500 to $3.50
piece. Sometimes. if you're a friend Of
his, he'll sell you a setting Of the re-
sultant eggs for S25 a dozen.
Every year he breeds out of the pen
a champion or two that sell al $3.50,
5000, $3.50 apiece. He gets from it
about 500 chickens altogether, and
twenty of the lot sell for 500 apiece.
Fifty, with such percentage as he can
guarantee, fetch $50 each. Altogether
in a good season his championship pen
will yield him $1,000 worth of chick
ems.
s'These are busy times for my friend.
The shows are beginning now, and they
will keep up the winter through. He is
getting ready to exhibit in all of them.
for, though the prizes don't pay him
so far as their cash value goes, they
more than pay him in the prestige that
they give
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
THE WHISTLE.

You have heard" said a youth to his
sweetheart, who stood,
While he sat on corn-sheaf at day
lights decline
You have heard of the Danish boy s
whistle of wood?
I wish that Danish boys whistle were
mine"
And what would you do with it?-Tell
me-" she said.
While an arch smile played over her
beautiful face.
would blow it" he answered, land
then my fair maid
Would fly to my side. and would here
take her place
rs that all you wish for? That may be
without any magic" the fair maiden
"A favor 50 slight ones good nature Sc
cures;''
And she playfully seated herself by his
side.
II would blow it again. said the youth,
and the charm
Would work so that not even AIodesty's
check
Would be able to keep from my neck
your fair ARM
She smiled-and she laid her fair arm
round his neck.
Yet once more would I blow, and the
music divine
Would bring me the third time an ex-
quisite Bliss
You would lay your fair cheek to this
brown one of mine,
And your lips stealing past it, would
give me a kiss"
The maiden laughed out in her innocent
What fool of yourself with your
whistle you'd makei
For only consider. how silly 'twoUld be
10 SIT there and whistle for what you
Los Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
GLOBE SIGHTS.


From the AtchiSOn GlODe.1
Most people expect a dollars worth
Of thanks for a so cent present.
A disconnected person is bad enough
to live with, but a self-satished person
is lots worse.
You often hear men say: ct feel bet
ter, but I don't feel right yet" Poo.
devils; so many of them say it.
There is no such thing as a ghost
but we are afraid of ghosts A dead
body can't hurt you, but we are afraid
of a dead body.
The best husband in the world will
eat more than his share of the spring
chicken But women never care as
much about eating as do the men
We hope we will remember the next
time we feel tempted to kiss a pretty
girl that scientists have decided the
kiss is a relic Of wild animals trying
to bite each other.
If a man is smart. it just happened.
He didn't sit up at night, and study
by the light Of a pine torch, fool
story told of Abraham Lincoln. A
smart man can't help being smart any
more than fool can help being fool
Some men hate to do right because they
think they are doing it for the Lord
That IS where they are fooled A man
should do right for his own sake: be-
cause doing right pays better than do
ing wrong For his own sake, man
can afford intemperance, dishonesty or
idleness.
When an old maid sits up and tells
that her sister, married woman, took
an old cloth dress, and made beauti-
ful cloak with slash pockets for her lit
tie daughter. that could not be duDlica-
ted at the stores for $11, she says: Il
often wonder If the men appreciate such
devotion and ability on the part of their
wtves2'
When a man takes hint prompt
~, 1t Is a sign of Intelligence. People
can't tolerate a man who will persist
in a foolish course. month after month,
Some people say, under such circum-
stances, that the man is stubborn. As
a matter Of fact, he is a fool. When
the house is on fire, get out. Anyone
should know that much.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
JOURNAL ENTRIES

It is remarkable to note how many
people there are who have no apollo
gies to offer" as a result of the cleo
ton.
This department is glad to note that
there is something in the Kansas pa
pers this week besides items begin
It is said that this country annually
imports 10000 German canaries. This
item will be Of special interest to the
cats.
=
Pennsylvania has gone back to "the
machine" We judge that Pennsyl-
vania did not wish TO use up all the
reform at once, but left some for next
time.
The Treasury department in Wash
ington fears that there will be a short
age IN small change toward Christmas.
If the Treasury department will just
make sure that We will have no short
age in big change, we will agree not
to worry about the small change.
Political note: Colonel Thomas
Benton Murdock of Ell Dorado, called
on this department today and ex.
pressed the usual regret that Cover.
nor Hoch's plurality is so small.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
shooting Gallerv secret-

The beach was empty. The board
walk was dead. The shooting gallery
man was packing to go south for the
do you see this glass ban?9 he
It was a ball of hollow glass. an
airy glass soap bubble, that had
swung all summer at the end of
thread in the foreground of the clay
pipes, bells and whatnot that had
made up the gallery's targets.
This glass ball." the man went on,
lis my great money maker All sum-
mer long people tried to hit this ball
1t was bigger and nearer than any
other target-and everybody failed
Thousands of bullets were fired at the
ball. thousands of nickels were spent
on it, yet here it is, still untouched,
my best bread winner.
All wise shooting gallery men have
glass ball like this. It makes such a
tempting target, yet it is never hit. It
IS never hit because the air that pre-
cedes gun charge is sufficient to
blow the ball aside. out of the way
You might fire a hundred shots at it,
but like a living thing, like a timid
soldier for instance, it would dodge
each shot. st. Louis Globe-Demo-
crat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
Amazing Combination Of CoIors.

IF anybody else wore it she'd be
caricatured, said a scornful girl who
beheld q gown worn the other day by
Sonora E. L. Chermont who before
her marriage to the second secretary
of the Brazilian legation in Washing
ton WAS one of the bellies of the Monu-
mental City. The gown was of laven-
der crepe, and on the bodice and
panels of the skirt were embroidered
bright pink roses, with leaves in varie-
gated greens, browns, and reds. yell
low chiffon was plated around the
neck and formed the belt and small
folds on the skirt. The hat was of
lavender tulle on green wire: there
were peacock feathers, pink roses, and
iridescent Jewels in profusion on and
under the rim, and the crown was of
cloth of gold.-New York Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
THE sPEAKERsHIP CONTEST.

From the available timber that is be-
ing put forward for the speakership OF
the house in the coming legislature, it
is evident that there will be no shortage
of good material. There viii be some
mighty good men in the coming legisla-
ture, and a number OF them are men
toned in connection with the speaker
ship.
The speaker of the house has ire
mendous power in shaping legislation
He is not such an absolute ruler as is
the speaker Of the lower house OF con-
gress, but he can very nearly direct
legislation as he desires. Not only does
he name the committees at the opening
Of the session, but during the closing
days, when the rush of business is ire
mendous. he says, through a committee,
what measures shall be advanced on
the calendar for passage and what ones
shall be left to die.
It is to be hoped that this great power
may be vested in a man who will use
It wisely and conservatively and in the
interest Of those things the people OF
Kansas wish.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
Hard on Griggs.

Bishop Coleman of Delaware was
describing in Wilmington some Of the
adventures that had marked his sum
mer walking trip through Pennsyl-
vania and Maryland. For many years
the bishop has devoted his vacation to
walking covering in ten days 200 miles
or more.
The sexton of a quaint old Mary
land church. he said. Showed me
through the cool, dim building one
warm afternoon, and, as we were de-
parting, pointed to the Bible on the
lectern, and smiled.
+" "A strange thing happened last
Sunday IN connection with that Bible
he said. We had a strange minister
preaching here, and when he opened
the book he came upon a notice and
read it out with all due solemnity.
g Tt was a request for the congre-
cations sympathy and prayers for
John @. Griggs. who had been deeply
afflicted by the loss of his wife
THE sexton paused and chuckled
softly.
=" You see. sir he said, cur regu-
lar minister had been using that paper
as a book marker more than a year.
and John Q. Griggs, in a natty gray
suit sat in a front pew with the new
wife he had taken just the week be-
fore. Exchange.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
POINTED PARAGRAPHs.
IFrom the Chicago News.l

IFrom the Chicago News.1
Turn f1attery upside down and you
have SANDER.
There are some ministers who prac-
tice what they preach.
Nine times out Of a possible ten it's
good policy not to.
And the less money a woman has to
spend the more she talks shop.
If you must waste time waste your
own. Do not waste other peoples.
As a rule, when people say what
they mean lot Of explanation IS neces-
sary.
It takes man with strong will pow
er to listen to a reason when he IS
angry.
Conscientious people are like ideas.
They refuse to strike a man when he
is down.
A woman begins to sit up and take
notice when other women say nice
things about her husband
Few men Will admit they are wrong
as long as there is a chance to make
others believe they are right.
The ring Of the almighty dollar adds
appreciably to the satisfaction girl
derives from her engagement ring
The young man who thinks his boss
can't get along with out him may have
to get along without his boss later in
a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13

can't run away with you now. you
know
So back they went to Yacco. while
the shadows Of night deepened AMONG
the bamboo. and the moon rose, looking
as large and red as a paper lantern
And q week later in the Carringtons'
pretty drawing room Douglass Morton
urged his impetuous suit. When Osana
San finally understood his meaning. she
grew as pink as cherry blossom
I be most afraid to live in your hon
orable and illustrious country where
everything go so fast-the motor car
riages and the love makingl"
"Osana San, do you mean that you
will not marry me2" demanded Doug
lass Morton.
A dimple glimmered in the rose and
ivory Of Osana's cheek
Most august" she answered, "how
could I be so rudey'
Tt is yes then?" cried Morton joy
fully.
1T is yes" whispered little Osana
San. = Copyrighted. 1906. by Homer
SpTague.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
Happier, Anyway.

Prof. Matteucci, superintendent of
the Vesuvius observatory, was dining
with some Americans at the Royal
hotel in Naples.
The dining room fronted the sea.
The waves crashed against the massive
embankment of stone. and showers of
white spray rose high in the sunlit air
This is heavenly. But what IS 1t
like in your observatory when Vesu-
vius ie active? p a young woman asked.
1T is not like heaven said Prof
Matteucci. 1T reminds me of a story
about a Neapolitan widow whose hus-
band had been dead some years One
night she was persuaded to go to a
spiritualists' seance. and there the
spirit of her dead husband appeared
and spoke with her.
81 Ny dear Agostino,' said the widow
to the shade, are you happy now2'
~ am very happy Agostino an
swered.
:. Happier than you were on earth
with nae?' asked the WIDOW
Yes replied the shade; I am far,
far happier now than was on earth
with you
THE widow was silent a moment.
Then she said:
Tell me. Agostino; what Is It like
In heaven
Heaven2' said Agostino, I am not
in heaven New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13

Nearly every person who takes an
interest in Kansas politics has a theory
that the result might have been differ
ent if something had been done that
wasn't done, or If something that was
done had been left undone. This APP
plies to Republicans and Democrats
alike. The Republicans are pointing
out how Harris might have beaten
Hoch by an overwhelming majority
If" and the Democrats are telling
how Governor Hoch's vote would have
been recorded in the Scattering col
umn, also Of"
An Atchison Democrat stated a day
or two ago that if Colonel Harris had
not made the speech he did in Leaven-
worth, when he came out in the very
strongest terms for law enforcement,
Atchison county would have given him
thousand majority instead of giving
$50 the other way. This in itself would
have nearly changed the result.
The Republicans appear to be pretty
we'll united in the opinion that if the
Democrats had a better organization
and If its committee had been more
aggressive, Governor HOch would have
been defeated by a considerable major
ity A good many other ifs" reach
the same result.
But suppose some one Of these Ifs
had happened and w. A. Harris were
really a governor-elect. think what
would now be taking place in Kan
sas. Chairman Ryan. instead of lock-
ing up the Democratic headquarters
and going back to Crawford county,
would be the busiest man in Topeka
A thousand hungry Democrats would
be after his endorsement for some Job.
He would have to establish outer and
inner guards to his private Office in or
der to keep back the of1ceseekers.
Another result would be that the NJ.
K & T. Railroad company would be
occupying a place on the anxious seat.
and possibly it would allow the federal
government to win its motion to dis
miss the now-famous Katy suit in
the United States supreme court. This
motion to dismiss the government has
just fled.
Another possible result, if one of
those ifs" were a reality, is that
Leavenworth and Atchison and Pitts
burg would be in deep mourning and
the jointists thereof would be prepar-
ing to go out of business about the
first Of January. This is given only as
possibility, however.
Another result would be that a num-
Der of pretty good minor officials in
the state government would be look
ing for soft places to light, and there
would be numerous opportunities to
hire some extremely capable men in
private capacities.
But those ifs have prevented any
of these happenings. by the grace of a
very trivial plurality, and now we will
settle down to business once more,
hoping that the results will all be for
the best Good citizens, Irrespective
Of party, will aid in securing a good
state government, legislation for the
benefit of the whole people, and due
respect for law.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record

IFrom the Philadelphia Record
Subject to hts-the tailor.
There is quite a difference between
taking a brace and taking bracer-
There are lots of good points about
a man that we never suspect till we
read his obituary.
Even when a fellow feels that he Is
a big gun his employer is apt to fire
him If he gets loaded.
The trouble with the man who holds
the key to the situation is that he can't
always find the keyhole-
The ms and outs of courtship con-
sist of falling in love and then know
ing when to have falling out
sillicus-"Do you ever read the joke
columns in the newspapers? ''--CyTi-
cus-''Weli, I always glance over the
marriage licenses
Hotel CIerk=The guest in No. 296
saws he had a nightmare last night
Proprietor-''Well charge It on his
bilI=s10 for livery"
Hook-"I heard scribbler is run
ming a pipe organ" Nye-"l didn't
know he was musical" Hook-''He
isn't He's editing tobacco trade
journal
If you had a million" Harduppe-
MY dear young lady. # I had a mil
lion there would be no necessity for my
marrying at all.
Blobbs-''In buying an automobile
be sure and get the best slobbs-
best ?" Blobbs-"Oht any one Of the
advertisements viii tell you
Il gave you a dime yesterday re-
marked the philanthropic female. and
I saw you go into one Of those low sa-
looms. Yes. num- replied the weary
amt got no call to go into dem high
toned ones"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
HUMOR OF THE Day

Gal1ey-I kicked all the covers of my
bed last night BaiIey-My, weren't you
cold? Bailey-No fortunately, I was
dreaming L was dead--Philadelphia
Ledger.
Mr.. Javback (savagely)-I wish you
were somewhere I'd never be able to see
you again. Mrs. Jawback (sweetly)-
Well, at any rate. It nice OF you to wish
me in heaven.-Cleveland Leader.
Mabel-oh. nurse. what are those little
houses in the trees for2 Nurse-Those are
for the birds. dear Mabel-Aren't they
high up? Nurse-High? No only one
flight
same Thing-"what did the doctor
prescribe for your dyspepsia? Advised
Starving to death" .-W-what2" Not
play Golf, ride horseback and go yacht
ing"
Auto Be Careful: Autoist-Ran over
someone rs came down from the club;
but I guess no harm was done Friend
the machine seemed to run along all
right
Brer Rabbit and the Nightmare: She
entally)-WouIdn't it be just splen-
did if all our dreams came true2 He
Not for me; m fond of Welsh rabbit
The Danger-"What is the greatest dan
ger encountered in running an automo-
bile?" And without hesitation the chauf-
feur. answered, The police. Washing
ton Star.
Lady entering a kitch.n and noting
policeman)-SO you are the brother of my
hope 50, madame = Aegendorfer Biaet-
tar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13

emerged from a great war full of VIC
tory and full CT glory. She has sur
prised Christendom. No more warlike
people ever appeared in history. It is
a delicate situation
THE element OF caste enters into it.
and political parties are chan when
they confront the cyclone of race pre-
judice- If the people of California
win not have the Japs, they viii not,
and that is the end of it, and the Re
publican party would rather have the
Ill will OF Japan than to dislodge Cali
fornia from the Republican column. ;"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13
REFLECTIONS or a BACHELOR.
Iron the New york Press.l

from the New YORK Press.
The trouble about being good is
there aren't enough vacations from it.
The way a girl likes to have you kiss
her best is the wa- she won't let you.
There must be heap of satisfaction
in being so poor everybody is sure you
aren't a thief.
A woman is so proud of getting a
cable dispatch she would like to hang
it in the parlor in a gold frame.
When you hear a man Dragging how
early he gets up because he likes to
it's because the people who employ
him would discharge him IL he didn't.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13

latest-it will occupy the White House.
But in the meantime the other parties
win be increasing a few million votes
eachs which Is a condition the Prohibi-
tionists are not figuring on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13

It is suspected that Chester I. Long
has some express franks that he might
use, but It viii be noticed that he isn't
expressing any opinion about the late
election. He is sending it by freight.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13

It is said that ". ". Rose is banker
ing TO run for mayor Of Kansas City,
kan, again next spring. Mr.. Rose viii
soon acquire a reputation as one Of the
greatest trouble hunters in the west.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13

Now that it is all over. Fred Trigg
suggests that we change the subject to
the weather, good roads, infant hap
item, or anything but politics. To
which we will all consent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13

Chairman Ryan says before any in
vesugation Of those Crawford county
election returns is made he wishes to
consult local Democrats down there
Perhaps the local Democrats are anx-
ious to let 1t go without any investi-
cation
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13

Washington is just worrying itself
sick with anxiety for the presidents
safety while he is on his visit to Pan
anna. Washington cannot imagine how
a president could be safe anywhere
else than in the White House.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-13

THE largest lesson we see in the cleo
4ion returns Is the proof of the power
OF the press" says Congressman Scott
in the lola Register, and the Kansas
city Star innocently asks, What
$500