Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-03-04

had come four days before to say that she
was sailing from Southampton on a quick
bcat-and longed to break from the dead
herVed apathy that held me that l
might meet her with a smile The hunt
would bring me back to myself again.
Within half an hour they carried me off
| the field dead-dead as a dog | was when
they found my hunter riderless, his mouth
bleeding, the stirrups wrenched from the
saddle. He had finished me neatly with his
hoofs as he got himself up out of the ditch
This was two days ago-the end-so differ
ent from what it would have been-and now
she was on the ocean-nearly home! If |
could only go and break the news to her
and make her understand that 1t was 50
much better But here l seemed chained
within the reach of that-decorous corpse
of mine-possessed of a dignity that I had
never had in life
To think that the dregs of that life which
with the usual egotism of man l had plan
ned to bring to the lady who loved me we're
spilled in the ditch where they belonged in
time to save her. My soul was at her feet
nova decenter offering-and all that tor
tu ed that she would not under
stand, would grieve.
And l chafed there in the half-dark
ened room. my chained soul beat its wings
against the bars just as the afternoon sun
sent a long, lancelike ray through the
drawn silken curtains and fell directly
upon the face of me there, under the lilies
the lips set in their old, reckless line. the
mustache half gray against the shaver
pallor of my cheek.
What fallacy that speaks of the face
as a mirror of the souli How loathed its
beauty now-that women had always loved
and thought of the stronger mold of
Ogden's face; the stern brow and the terri
BILE chin. that made him look like war
god Well. he was to be the man, no doubt,
but l was the soul lover, and / would not
change with him-unless / could have
changed the years that had burned out,
one after the other.
And with this l felt pang-not for the
life / had left, but for what 1t might have
been, and passed with great rushing OF
winds a swirling of darkness and the
sound of waves beating upon rocks. sea
mists that tasted sweet as they wrapped
my dizzy SOUL and knew that l was going
now-to Heri
I felt the sway of the universe and the
stars whirred by me. and there 1 stood
with Her upon the Twilight cliffs, Her face
against mine. Her tears upon my lips.
heard her speak my name And with Her
hands in mine l told Her how sweet and
beautiful the new life was. and Her tears
gave way to a glad cry when r whispered
that there was nothing to regret, for this
death had brought me closer TO Her than
the ashes of my life could ever have done.
How can l make you understand that
meeting. with the golden sea stretching be-
fore us, the haze of the glorious twilight
about US. the lily breath enfolding us and
our hearts singing together
Life had never held a moment SO divine
as this, filled with the glory of knowing
the truth-this real life different from the
stupid insect life Oh earth-dazzling, su-
pernal realizationi Realization! That was
1t. She had known when She told me that
day before we parted that earth life is the
dream and men and women but shadows.
Death for me had been indeed worth
while.
II was from this wonderland, this soul
haven. that She had first called to me that
time in my dreams, when / was cropping
blindly but surely toward Her, in these
blessed meadows where lilies waited to
bloom for this bridal
Now we walked togethen hand In hand.
looking over the sea-and we saw gulls
circling and noticed that the tender light
reached out across the waves to white
ship that was blowing its way with scarce
a sound toward home, Again / felt Her
kiss and Her sobbing as She called nay
name. Sea mists enshrouded me. The
lilies swooned and amid the sea doors and
the twilight there came again those sharp
flashes of intermittent sound-famf1iar,
and to me part OF this somewhere 1
listened alone now, and heard my own
name and knew that from the purple clins
q message was going to meet Her 70 tell
Her that was dead.
And then knew the dawn.