Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-03-07
.E-.T7 - :.
lave been killed in the mad rush tor

daily existence, you, my boy, will he
safely guardcI from the chill winds Of
the world; you will have had your
meals sent in from the warden's pri-
vate table; you will have had the best
physicians guarding your health, and
when you have reached the ripe age
of 80 or SO you will pass away and
be laid to rest in your last quiet home.
Five years later the court of appeals
will hand down a decision and a spe-
cial messenger will be hammering at
the door Of the jail where you lived so
long. To the warden he will deliver a
paper that calls for your execution, but
the good warden will shake his head
sadly and, after looking over the files.
remark that you are no longer there;
you died of old age in 1863"
But are all lawyers lazy, dear I'm
cle?" asked Dilly.
Indeed no, my dear boy" replied
Uncle George. "They are the reverse
in many cases, but it depends upon
their position. You can take young
corporation lawyer who has been
working Is hours day trying suits
against his company, toss him into a
judgeship and he won't be able to
think out of folding bed He will
dream away the hours. There is no
mad rush in his life then. Compared
to him the editor of religious annual
is leading life of bustling activity
and strife. But to return to the law in
it's concrete sense, billy. One may say
that the law is circumlocution and de-
lay, that it's motto is never do to-day
what you can put off until next Thurs
day. 10 illustrate. One may compare
the law with trip from Chicago to
New York by way OF San Francisco,
HongAong. the Gulf OF Alden. Paris.
London and the Atlantic ocean. If YOU
want time, Dilly, take the law express
If you would lead a pure and virtuous
life, robbing your neighbor and steal
ing from the widow and The orphan
with IMMUNITY. take to your bosom a
couple OF lawyers. and before the case
can come to trial you will be but dust.
You can do anything with the aid Of
the law: or you can stop and do moth
ing Just as well. 1t is a great life, the
law. I don't know who first invented
it, but if he should walk down the
main street some forenoon I'm afraid
he'd meet with much grief.
The law conveys many benefits,
however, my dear nephew. 1t furnishes
lot of amusement for the public. It
also gives the rich a chance to spend
their money. Some trials are better
than theater, and that's why they
are so we'll attended. Have you a d.
vorce that you want to annul? Get a
lawyer, give him some money and he'll
do it for you. Do you want to reverse
the operation after having gone half
way? Give the lawyer more money
and he'll accommodate you. Have you
case on trial land do you expect re-
suits? Whether you will get them de-
ponds upon whether you can find ten
lawyers who once said a certain thing
was so when the other side could find
but nine who said it was not so. Later
perhaps your opponents lawyer has
discovered two more lawyers and car
ries the case to higher court. You
are defeated. but your lawyer has just
landed three more lawyers who believe
the way the first nine did, and you win
again, and SO you go until there are no
more courts and then you start all
over again on another tack It's a
great game, the law 1t is It is not
The eminent Judge Duff said so and so.
The eminent Judge Cuff said it was
not SO, and the two of them leave it
to Justice Gazzaz, who promises to
think it over and let you know in 20
years. The last named hands down his
opinion and the family is out putting
flowers on your grave for the tenth an
niversary when the messenger knocks
at the door to bring the glad news"
care all presidents lawyers, dear
Uncle?" inquired Little billy.
"No, my boy" said Uncle George, re-
flectively, mot all. Only Fl of them
have been. Butsthere is hope that no
more soldiers will get in
*'But are not all lawyers honest men,
Uncle?" asked Oily again
ASK your aunt for the salve, Dilly.
I have cracked my lips in several
places" replied Uncle George.