The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1906-12-02
The Bear and the Berg;
By Leo. Crane.


notice a fog creepin' up on the berg.
| an the steamer broke its whistle try
in to attract US, but the excitement
o the chase had made US def to all
but the noble quarry, as they say il
: in good English.
To cut a long story short, the fog
came down, an when il was up, later
In the evening the steamer couldn't be
seen for it was Mt in sight. There
We were, three lone men, an one lone
bear, deserted. like rats-No, like any
thing that's dumb fool enough to go
pic-nickin on a cake O. ice, the same
as that girl they sick the dogs on in
Uncle Toms Cabin. We sits down dis
consulate near to the cage, an the
bear comes an poses in a majesty
stunt on a crag above US. 1t was De-
ISOLATION an Despair, by Anthony Ber-
litzi, worth two thousand bones, If we
can get it.
My, My! says Simms Foraker to
me, if we only had this ice in Moo
York we could put the American Ice
Holsters out O business in a week
| Yes, Yes says I, returnin' the
| compliment, an trying to be as foolish
as the next without strainin' my nerve.
An says I, There's another place
/
fetch a higher price. Don't ye feel
! airish out here in the dew?'
''Whereupon we was mournful for
| long time.
I Suddenly, large portion O. the
beach, say about a nine hundred pound
piece. splits off to itself an disap-
pears.
That's cheerful says I.
1t aint no joke, you blamed idiot
, growls Simms Foraker, getting mad
: What are We to do when it gets down
to about a hve-cent piece?'
{" An the poor bear said 1, soft like,
maybe he can't swim.
''Whereupon Simms Foraker gets
savage. But he cools down in a little
spell; no man could stay heated up on
an iceberg. You might as well ask a
mintjulep to turn coffee with two
Jumps in it. An that night was the
coolest I ever spent, 'cept one, which
was in Aunt Cynthia's spare room up
in New Hampshire. We three lone men
eradicated the bait, an slept in the
cage. 1t was mt any too warm at
that Durin' the night we could hear
five hundred pound pieces, and six
hundred pound pieces, all splittin' off, |
an departing adrift. Every minute I |
expected some one to yell Icen an |
that we would be in a puddle like the |
Office boy finds. However, when morn |
ing came, we found that our berg had |
separated itself in two at the north |
east, an that we three lone men were |
marooned on a piece ABOUT as big as
truck farm, with no ships in sight.
All o. which made chap feel easy, |
like a sport at the seaside. maybe.
'Simms Foraker gets right disguised |
at his new separation. I'll bet ye,
wee lost the BEAR he says
I never did see man so down to
mis- business as that Simms Foraker. [
Why once, when he had been tryin'
to reduce the wet goods supply in Chi
cago, he got himself the finest assort-
ed lot o. sights you ever heard tell Of.
An blame me, if he was mt happy.
He was took with the idear. Thought |
he had a cinch on the animal market.
He calls me over to his bed, where the
nurse had him strapped secure, an he
whispers: Two pink snakes with red
scales, one five feet long, one nine feet
eleven. also one three-headed ape,
drab in color, with a green beard
List the lot, an get Barnum to make
an offer. Don't you sell 'em under a
Heated anywhere Which they could
MT An when he had been doctored to
a stage where he could only hear the
sizzin' of crickets, he said he was I'M
happy, an he fair cried for the man
agerie. Fact Where was a-Oh! Yes,
but Simms Foraker was sure mistaken.
That dirty white bear, lean. an gaunt,
an sneaky lookin', was, he actooally
vas on our segregation of berg. All
that other piece of nice green slippery I
ice was mt good enough for him No!
me mus. come over an help tilt our |
section. Wanted to lead a life of COM
petition, maybe"
He might have been lonely 1 sug-
sested
you know, I often thought that bear ]
had a lonely look Reminded me of
bachelor bear. But it pleased Simms i
Foraker. '
'Hurrahn he yells, joyful, we've got
him. /
See here, boss 1 says to him. re- i
strainin' myself from the thought of ]
damage, come aroun' here on the lee s
D this fat monument of ice, an talk
to me. 1 don't want to humilitate We 5
where this bloomin' British deck-swab
can hear to it
And he looks at me as if I was out ]
Of plumb.
Look boss says 1, as gentle as I I
,ould-an' when I think as how L did s
persuade myself that L was calm {
thinks that I must have been actoo- t
ated by a guardian angel, maybe, I
Look. boss, an consider. Here we
are, aint We? An there's that bear, I
hungry lookin', lonesome lookin, with t
L mean disposition at the very largest
dividend, while there amt single po-
ice in sight Also, here is piece o
ce. given to splittin' itself like
Did We ever try 10
realize that we're Just the same as a
broken wing fly that's tumbled into
ylass O. claret punch? S'pose the fell I
ow that has ordered the punch, sees