Los Angeles herald., 1906-12-23

Getting violent you sec, Mr. 'Eavytop." whis.
pered Mrs. Barnacle, and then the captain fed
and cufed the deck-boy for laughing at him.
1t was miserable-looking man that came into
the captains cabin little later.
lhlngs don't seem to be goin' on quite as
successful as we thought cap'n," he ventured
after waiting q minute
b No, they don't, Hatred 'Eavytop This comes
| of listening to tomfool iabbering about what
he don't know nothing Of"
Who's tomfool Cap'n Barnace?"
Hou are Mr. 'Eavytop If it adn't been for
YOU f~shouldn't be in the mess / am now Me
carted off to bay lunatic asylum like silly
fool Funny, amt it2"
At that moment the head of Mrs. Barnacle
was thrust in the door
I've decided Mr.. 'Eavytop," she said "to
treat Emery myself DO you think he need be
kept in his cabin all day?"
"N-no, I shouldn't think So ma am" replicd
Hatred feebly
"Oh, Lord' groaned the captain, as his better
half took her departure "To think it should
come to this, Cap'n Emery Barnacle treated like
blithering idiot"
From then things went from bad to worse Tho
men dehed him.. as they had received instructions
from Mrs. Barnace that they must take no notice
of the captain, as he was not quite right in his
head. He was kept in his cabin all day, was not
allowed to smoke or drink and, in short, life
wasn't worth living.
One morning Mrs Barnacle entered his cabin
and surveyed the crestfallen skipper
"Well, Emery, 'ow are you feelin'?" she asked
quietly.
Barnacle groaned in spirit, and drummed his
feet on the floor.
ITS good you trying to play the fool with
me, Emery, as you should know by this time"
she continued energetcaly. "When you and your
precious mate plan your little schemes in future"
Mrs. Barnacle proceeded, after pause for breath
mind there's listenin' outside the door"
'Who was listenin'?" exploded Captain Bar
nacle, rising in wrath
Amilton. e told me what e heard while
/ was ashore
"The mean, sneakng little brutel" roared the
captain "I'll tan his hide with ropes end till
ED wish ed never been born
"You'll do no such thing, Emery, or the ASYLUM
Board may ave somethin' to say
Then Captain Barnacle sad-but no, on Sec
ond thought I won't tell you what he said
you mightnt like it.
Precisely three hours later two woeIbegon fig
ures sat in Captain Barnacles cabin and smiled
at each other in a sickly fashion.
eve don't seem to ave done much good, cap'n
do we?" remarked one, Alf Heavytop by name
you're right, Hatred, amt. In fact
we've made things wuss. [ did ave a bit of
freedom afore, and command of my own barge,
but even that's took from me now, and Lord
knows 'ow long it's gon to last. I can't persuade
Mrs. Barnacle that I'm as sane as anyone on
this earth"
"I'm sure 1 can't suggest anythin',' said Mr.
Heavytop miserably, unless we make a clean
breast of the whole affair"
81 ave, and all she says is that if l keep quiet
shall soon be better, so I'm booked as blazn
idiot for the rest of my days"
Another spell of painful silence and then Mr.
Heavytop spoke again. .'ot
81 think as III be going now, capn't, Good
night.
"Good-nght, Hatred, goodnight" Mr.. Heavy
top moved towards the door. "Halfred," said
the skipper, "you amt got married, ave you?"
"Not|I cap'n, thank 'eaven."
"Well, Hatred, you take it from and
don't. Goodnight Hatred"