Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-31
(CoDyI'ighted)
Little Dilly and His Uncle Discuss
Our Noble Senate.

Dilly, as he looked up from his news
paper, what useful purpose the sen
ate serves our great and glorious
country"
"You have given me keen delight,
Dilly, by your question: replied Uncle
George, with some animation, as he
laid down the automobile catalogue he
had been perusing. IF there is one
thing more than another on which I
love to discourse, it is that grand and
emphatically noble collection of good
men we call the senate. The senators
are the bulwarks Of our nation. They
are the embodiment of every good and
honorable purpose of which we know
and ! am proud to think our interests
are safe in their hands There are per-
sons-rude, uncultured, irresponsible
individuals, Dilly-who sheer at the
senate, but we must overlook these
s:eers, for how can the common peo-
pie understand the high and mighty
motives of senator?
Were it not for the senate, Dilly,
we would have little to amuse us in
this enlightened age. When George
Bernard Shaw had grown tasteless on
our intellectual palate; when William
Randolph Hearst had ceased to dis
cover heart throbs in the sad, sad story
when Anthony Comstock had ceased
writing his opinions of the plays he
had never seen, whittier would we
turn for amusement, but to the SEN
ate? Those gallant gentlemen, Mr..
Jefferson, Mr.. Hamilton and Mr.. Wash
tngton, builded better than they knew
when they gave us a senate for our
very own, and we should grin delight
eddy when we think Of them. Think
what life would be without a senate I"
"But is not the senate of great use
In making the laws of the country?"
asked little billy.
"Of great use, my dear nephew" re.
piled Uncle George, with twinkle
in his eye. eve have discovered that
the senate bears to our nation the same
relative value that garden rake does
to torpedo boat. Ornamental in the
extreme, but slightly disconcerting
when encountered in the dark All,
my dear boy, in discussing the nation
al affairs with your companions, do not
permit them to deride the senate.
Abandon them at once when they cast
slurs on the honesty of senator. I
remember, years ago, that I INDUCED
In personal fracas over an attack
upon one of our senators. I look back
with regret to that occurrence, and I
only mention it to show you how. high
hold the institution. A low-born
person spoke in sighting terms of
Senator Scadds. I attacked him at
once, and we bickered long and ardu-
ously, and in the end I defeated him
with my bare hands,
Had he insulted the senator's high
office, uncle?' inquired little billy with
pink excitement.
"He had" declared Uncle George,
proudly. HE had referred to Sena-
tor Scadds as an honest man. could
not brook the horrid charge All, my
dear nephew, look with reverence upon
a senator. They are master hands at
craft. What more ennobling spectacle
can the young be afforded than a row
in the senate chamber? Imagine, if
you can, Dilly, the absorbing interest
that attaches when Senator Bullion
arises and calls upon the honorable
Gentleman from Iowa to explain
how he came to accept bride
of a paltry $4,000. Picture to
yourself the righteous Indignation
of the Gentleman from Iowa when
tucking his flowing whiskers un-
der his belt, he waves his arms and
declares that Hon. Senator Bullion is
II kinds of a prevaricator and men,
tons specifically that he never in all
his honorable career accepted less than
$4,000 and an annual pass for him
self and family over the road. Con.
ceive, if you can, my boy, the indie
scribable scene when Senator Bullion
hurls a scathing cuspidor at the Gen.
tleman from Iowa, which, owing to the