Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-08-25
THE FUNERAL OF
NOT.WORTH-A-DlN

/ The knaVc and the fool sat together OH
/ the raiI-fence over against the halt-open
door Of Old Man Narcotics shack. There
Twas a throbbing glow of freight i'll the
openin2. Through a symphony Of domes-
tic noises the jingle jangle of cutlery,
tho lunches tuncfuj thud Of plates cast
on a wooden table, and so on-ran the
drone mole of the kettle boiling in a hur-
irt. Also a grandiose smell of the frying
Of pork outlets peryaded the dusk, and
caused the hungry syndicate of sinners
on the fence to smile sardonically with
dared tecth--hecause not even the CON
sciousncss eff womccd pride could pre-
vent them from wrinkling their noses.
1t seemed to Cash Kelly and Not
Worth-a- Dingus Baskerville that all ma
ture was as hungry as they-that the
stars in the violet sky and the tall
weeds by the doorway were as conscious
as themselves of the apotheosis of the
/ pig which they had refused to help kill
The door was flung wide open, and
| Old Man Marceile appeared on the door
step His white hair shone like silver in
the freight, and he would have looked
| like saint in a sunit church window
if the long trade gun had been left out of
the picture. As the gun went up to his
shoulder Cash and Worth-a Dingus
abandoned the fence, dismounting on the
| far side, The old man drew a bead on
them. and spoke as follows:
"G'way g'way offs my farm Tam
| to g'way, dirty fellersl Eat my grub
an drink my whisky blanc fifteen days,
an do not work, an refuse madame
/ lille favor of a lille wood choppcd--an'
refuse me lille favor help kill pig. Lazy,
dirty fcIers, g'way queeck Quceck, or
! | pull the gun. 'way-Wha' you call
| eitl Git"
/ At first it was an orderly and digniicd
4retrcat-a departure more in hunger than
| in anger But when the gun was fired
Ipto the air and they heard the duck
shot pattcring in "A willow patch near at
hand, panic smote them in the hinder
| parts, and they ran-ran like the arrant
towards they were known TO be.
! Wh"' m1nner of men are these? They
belonged, and had for years belonged, to
| the class Of prairie dereicts'-the hope
less and helpless do-nothings of the vast
land Of hope and self-hclp beyond the
great lakes. In former days Cash Kelly
had gambled for a living. But some
friends whom he had met in one of the
little pleasure cities on the Minnesota
side of Red river--it is prohibition
country on the Dakota bank-had
knocked him playfully on the head and
knocked him out of the house into a
snowdrift on 20 below-zero night. The
result was the loss of two fingers and a
thumb by frost bite, which compelled
him to retire from his profession.
His parents came to the conclusion
that there was only one country in the
world where he would be certain to make
his fortune-the great northwest, where
Im2n are so few that land is given away
/ So they enlisted him in the army of
! British pioneers, paid the cost of his
! Journey to the front of humanity's war.
! fare with the powers of the wilderness,
and saw him off from the wharf at Liver
pool, with fifty pounds in his pocket.
| Thirty-two pounds remained TO him
when he reached Quebec. nineteen when
he left Winnipeg, eight when he arrived
at the chief market town of Saskatche-
wan and put up at the dearest hotel. On
the very first evening of his stay there
he lost all his mouey-to Cash Kelly.
/ Thanks to Cash. six years passed be-
| fore the west decided that the value of
young Baskerville was not equal to That
of the wedge of wood placed between
the pickets of n fence to support the
heavy bottom rail-that he belonged to
the order of prairie dcreicts who are
mot worth a diugus'
BY this time Cash and Not Worth-a-
Dmgus had caught back their breath.
"B'gosh," cried Cash. "Old Man was
for blue murder! How'd it be to sneak
back an conraTate his stacks? Ieh?'
Wouldn't help us to a supper
groaned his companion. "and | take ne
hand in such Il game. | amt been JAILED
vet and
YOU'RE an English gentleman" sale
Cash, with bitter sarcasm, AN mus
behave as such Me. I'm man as aim
too pure hlooded to like my revenge, an,
md he proud to see shack an barn an
1.-THE hull kiboodIe going up in Il flare. T,
igrudge lis II meal alter sunset there
INer prairie hospitality. \ disgrace to tn
west, sir
Il wish You wouldn't keep calling MI
an English gentleman" replied Basher
lviuc. plaintivelv. I've been long enough
ON the prairics to he reckoucd west
crucr: and do | look like a gentleman
IGaShy MhatIl We do tor a bite. ole
, chapG"
Buy it. ole rarj!" cried cash. tri
| lumphantly, pulling a crumpled paper ou
of his hip pocket. Look a here, How
did get that So mlg You call 10 min,
the little trick of boy that came to ma,
= the old woman Tor butter an eg5,
wa-al sir, | collected that debt. a.
lhunurarium. sir frr hamtjn' Grsyg,oI