Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1906-11-23
y ''S'S::;'nIkhSHES
n111rA@t ON

love at first sight?" Casually marriage
and second sight"
DO you think he will make her
good husband?" mo, l think she will
make him a good husband"
She-Sir, if you attempt to kiss me
l shall call for help. He-For help?
Why, my dear girl, am capable of do
ing it alone Answers.
Candid Friend-You will have to
work hard to win an heiress. Impe-
cunious One-I'l have to work a jolly
sight harder still if don't.-Tit-B Bits.
Mrs. Aijen-Oh, really, that's nice!
And did he truly say l didn't show my
age? Mrs. Cutting-Well-er- said
you were always very careful to conceal
it.
Jason-Many a wise word Is spoken
in jest. Mason-Yes; but they can't
compare with the number of foolish
ones spoken in earnest.-Cassell's Jour-
nal.
Hello, old man, and how do you en-
joy married life, eh? Ever have any
differences Of opinion with your wife"
"Yes, but | don't let her know about
them"
Father (sternly)-So you've failed
again in your examinations How do
you explain that? Son-Because they
went ana asked NE the same questions
as before.
Customer Cat bOokstore) )-Have you
work on the art of letter writing?
New Salesman-No, sir. l should think
you could learn that at any correspond
ence school.
Fred (sadly)-It's no use. l told
your father that couldn't live without
you. Edith-And what did he say to
that? Fred-Oh he offered to pay my
funeral expenses.
She-That's all very pretty, Jack;
but do you think we can live on love
and kisses? He-It's much the safest
everything else is either adulterated,
or poisoned, or tainted.-Life.
"What are you going to call your
verses" asked Joakley GA Broken
vase,'" replied Rimer. "Ah! that re-
minds me Of little thing servant
girl of ours dashed off the other day."
She-And are you really so much
better since you returned from abroad?
He-Yes, I'm quite another man. She
We'll, I'm sure all your friends will
be delighted to hear it! And he is now
wondering if she meant anything.
George-The ring doesn't seem to fit
very well, Clara. Hadn't l better take
it back and have it made smaller?
Clara-No, George; an engagement ring
is an engagement ring, even If | had to
q wear it around my neck.-Tit-Bits.
Father Cat head Of stairs) Ethel,
what time Is it? Ethel Gin the draw
ing room)-It's a quarter past ten,
father. Father-All right. Don't for
get to start the clock again after the
young man goes out to get his break
fast.
Laird-Well, Sandy, you are getting
very bent. Why don't you stand straight
up like me, man? Sandy-Eh, mon, do
you see that field O. corn over there!
81 do" "Weel, yell notice that the
: full heids hang down, and the empty
ones stand up"
"I've come to the conclusion" said
the mild pessimist, that l must have
been born great" "YOu don't say?" re-
marked Sinnickson "Yes; at any rate
there doesn't appear to be any chance
s, of my achieving greatness or having il
thrust upon me-"
A certain popular preacher Is very
absent-minded. One day his wife came
into his study crying in agony, "Oh!
have swallowed a PIN" He smiled ten
: derly: Don't worry, my DEAR" he said
as he fumbled at his waistcoat, "here
here Is another pin!
She-Heres an interesting story Of
a man who begged to be sent to prisol
in place of his wife. He-Aha ! and ye
YOU always declare that men are neve
self-sacrifcing. She-Well, this man.
wife happened to be washerwoman
and If she went to prison he'd have t.
work.-Smith's Weekly.