davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
Most men default on love letters more
than on promissory notes
The kind of scandal women like TO talk
about is the kind too awful to talk about
nice thing about having your wife
away on visit is nobody ever likes to
argue by letter.
A woman always has scruples about
telling man a secret because she sus-
poets he will keep 1t.
II makes a woman feel awful blue to
think how gloomy 1t would De TO nave
It rain on the day of her funeral
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19
Railway Officials.

A party of Southern railway officials,
including General Manager II. B. Spencer,
Passenger Traffic Manager Sam II. Hard
wick and Mechanical Superintendent A.
Stewart, We're in Birmingham yesterday.
Mr.. Spencer said he was merely making
tour of inspection. He found the COM
penys Birmingham division in good con-
dition. The party left In their private cars
last night over the Louisville and Nash
Vile for Nashville
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19
HOW HE MADE 1T.

From the Chattanooga News.
An editor in Ohio who started about
twenty years ago with Is cents is now
worth 100000 His accumulation of wealth
is owing to his frugality, strict attention
to business and the fact that an uncle
died and left him $e9,9s9.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19
ALL-AMERlcAN WEDDING.

From the St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
In preparing her trousseau Miss Roose-
Welt will not patronize any of the Paris
or London shops All of the accessories
of the wedding, including the groom, will
be of the American brand.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19


ALACRITY NEEDED.
Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking,
What an easy thing 'twould be
To avoid these benzne buggies
If we could hop like flea.
Whereas Mrs Chadwick once worked
others, she now works herself.
Grover Cleveland was turned down by
several New York hotels, but not for the
same reason that Mr.. Hagen of Philadel-
phia was refused. The hostelries were
filled to overlooking. In Birmingham he
might have shared the same fate. 1t
pays to be boniface in this town.
HIGH FINANCE.
Speculate,
Peculate,
Ejaculate,
Illuminate.
There's rosemary, that's for remem-
brance." A picture of ourself to the first
person who guesses what part rosemary
plays in life insurance.
The average pedagogue looks down upon
a newspaper man, and yet, not one in
ten can write letter to the editor that
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19
NIcK's GREAT FIGHT.

From the Savannah News.
Representative Mick" Longworth Is
making a, manly effort to save himself
from going laundering down the corri-
doris of time as Miss Roosevelts hus-
band.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

fl NOTE remarked Colonel Bin.
that moonlight golf was success
fully played in North ca'lina. It Is
said that not ball was lost. but 1 feel
as If I were a native of Missouri and
would take no mans word for such a
miracle. One of the chief requisites for
moonlight golf is of course the moon:
are lights may in time be sprinkled over
the links. but as yet we must content
ourselves with primitive methods. It
would also be a good thing if we could
use owls for caddies. but by arduous train
ing we may expect to get the boys in
such good shape, OFFICIALLY speaking, that
they can see a plmple in the dark on
the face of callow youth. Moonlight
golf, aside from its spectacular features.
is worthy of serious thought because it
can be played at night and does not IN
terfere with business, as the daylight
variety Is known to do"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19
WHAT THEY PRACTICE.

From the Atlanta Journal
The last census shows that there are
1000 lady lawyers in this country. The
most of them. however, are practicing
patience instead of law.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Theodore Roosevelt will never con-
sent to become Rockefeller agent by
accepting the presidency of Chicago
university.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19
Are you a politician? Yes.
PUSHING BUSTER.

From the Columbiana Sentinel.
Blackman. the Age-Herald cartoonist,
is doing some fine work for that paper
and is giving the Buster Brown funny
page a run for the money.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

President Roosevelt is not looking
for post-presidential job. He pro-
poses, 1t seems. to go to Africa to hunt
the mastodon and the dinasaur.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Secretary of the Navy Bonaparte has
really been at sea, and has been duly
seasick. This fully qualities him for
the post he holds.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Mr.. Balfour tried to ride two horses
at once-free trade and protection
and he fell between them.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Henry White, our delegate at AL
geciras, fiunked around the Britished
throne over twenty years.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

The British elections are going very
much as those in Maine went when
Governor Kent was before the people.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

H. II. Rogers is a smooth man in a
slick business, where memories have
always been conveniently short.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Littlefield makes light of the big
stick, but he would do we'll to avoid
being whacked by 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Senator LaFollette is a vegetarian
If he were a meat-eater he would tea.
things up by the riots.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

The mother of twenty-seven children
eloped in Connecticut. 1t is easy to
see why she left home.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

The Dingley tariff has been pro-
nounced infallible, but only Joe Can
non believes 1t was inspired.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Now that the servant girls have or
ganized in Toledo. they will be in
position to insist on entertaining men,
bers of the force in the parlor.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

H. H. Rogers carries the impression
that he learned to be flippant from
Mark Twain, but this is mistake.
Mark does not know how.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Secretary Shaw hopes his informal
nomination will become formal in the
glad days of June, 1908.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

John D. Rockefeller Is sending out
souvenir books containing his photo
graph to 400 people who visited him
last summer. His check would no
doubt be more acceptable.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

A word to women: The work of
building Miss Alice Roosevelt's we'd
ding gown is now under way.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

If 1t is a part of a cadets education
to stand on his head and do the rabbit
dance" there is something radically
wrong with his education.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Depew will not resign until he is
prodded to it. Invitations do not count
In his mind.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Representative Herman is saying
very little In Congress, as becomes a
man who is under indictment.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Mrs. Chadwick will find many old
friends in Bankers Row" in the Ohio
penitentiary.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Young Herrera is a pugilist who sub
sists largely on brandy and big black
cigars. 1t is easy to see his finish.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Uncle Sam at Algeciras is hunting
for trouble good ways from home.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Roosevelt longs to seek bigger game
in Africa, but he had better whip Con-
gress first.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

A negro lawyer and banker OF
Nashville declined the position of con-
sui at Bahia, Brazil, and set prece-
dent which made the members OF his
race gasp with establishment.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

President Roosevelt Is not alone In his
determination to do little travelling since
passes have been cut off.
81 am going back home." said a care
worn man, as his face lighted up with a
wistful smile. II haven't been there for
twenty years and many changes have
taken place during that time. but the old
hills are still there; the sun comes up
across the river as 1t used to do, and
guess the cotton fields still look the same
The home where I spent my boyhood is
crumbling away in ruins, I am told. and
the little country school house where I
learned the alphabet has been deserted
many years. have made money
and travelled the world over but somehow
| never could forget the little village
down in Alabama where used to frolic as
a boy / don't expect to make long
visit-it will awaken painful recollectiona
that will overshadow the memory of boy
hoods golden days. My wife Is buried
there" he explained and turned his face
away.
The cold irony of fate was never mora
strikingly illustrated than in the case of
a young woman who came back to her
birthplace as theatrical star and had
ner entire wardrobe Attached Tor a ueDt
which she contracted while in the butter
and egg business.
ODE TO ALTON.
When the flowers
Start to bloom
And the sedge Is
On the broom;
When the birds do
Sweetly sing
And the lark Is
On the wing;
When the Hudson
Flows on by
Famed Esopus,
High and dry,
Will the judge dive
From the shore,
As he did in
Days of yore?
1t is interesting to note how different
Marshall Field appears in the various
newspapers which have recently published
his picture.
THE END.
& Failing low
He yields the fight.
Vain regrets
And then-"Goodnight
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Morales will soon be an innocent
bystander in Porto Rico.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

The Australian wool clip is estimated
at S92,500000. What's the use to ring
in that old joke about Wall street?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

A picture worthy of masters brush
is presented at Algeciras.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Bucyrus, o., is to be purified. Are
you surprised that Bucyrus needs puri-
fication?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

The hotels of Algeciras are none too
good, and the conference will not last
long.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

"Scotty" is en- route east. What has
the east done to deserve such vista
ton?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Now that Harvard has abolished
football. she is in a position to laugh
at wise individuals who said that she
was only blufing.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

The flippant Rogers will soon know
what to do with questions.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

McCall's home is for sale. He sowed
the whirlwind.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

The south's greatest general was
born SO years ago today.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Arthur j. Balfour should go at once
to the Far East and become datto.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Nearly anybody can run for an office
The difficulty lies in reaching 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

The story that furs and overcoats
will be worn at the approaching Fair
banks reception is of course canard.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Portsmouth Is jealous of Algeciras
as a peace center.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Grover Cleveland is said to be tired
of sitting on the insurance lid. Prob
ably the company makes him tired.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19
IT IS ANNOYING.

IT IS ANNOYING.
That intermittent, pounding noise
Which oft distresses you
Is made the first of every month
When bills are falling due.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

'fhe British proletariat is driving
the tories out.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Richard earle won $4,000 playing
roulette the other day, and he probably
feels good enough to write another
musical comedy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

conform to the style of the paper.
THE CAT AND THE LAMP.
Attic they both go out at night.
It is on different bents;
The one goes out while standing still,
The other hunts a fence.
It Is a good thing that we have mil
lionaires in this country. Poor people vent
their spleen on them and are better TO
each other. It doesn't do the rich any
harm to be abused. but It does the dis
gruntled element a world of good to abuse
them. @. E. D.
Today is Robert E. Lees birthday.
Love and tears for the Blue. tears and
love for the Gray"
Col Jack" chinn of Kentucky made
speech the other day in which he de-
nounced pistol 'toting." and we thought
all the time that Colonel Jack carried
at least three gums"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19
YOU BET IT WOULD.

The world would be a better place,
With less work for the devil.
If everybody told the truth
And acted on the level.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Capitalization run mad is what all
the country.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
MATTERS OF THE WORLD

can be published without being edited to
conform to the style of the paper.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

DR.. Harper left small estate and a
great name.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

A REDUCTION IN VALUE.
From the New York American.
Sign in Broadway book shop:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

President Roosevelt is not alone In his
determination to do little travelling since
passes have been cut Off
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Those young barbarians who have lately
fallen into the habit of kissing in the
Jefferson theatre when the efforts of
players on the stage do not meet with
their approval ought to be given a lesson
in good manners. The charge of disor-
Derby conduct could be easily sustained
A returned traveller says that Paita, in
Peru. has not had drop of rain in thir-
teen years. There are no umbrella jokes
in Paita. 1t ought to be good country
for picnics.
NO DOUBT YOU HAVE NOTICED IT.
Throughout this vale of sorrow.
No matter what you do,
You'll always find some critics
Who want to misconstrue.
It's a poor town that can't land Car
negie library.
David B. Hill is said to be looking old.
Some people have way of looking that
way when they are old.
Secretary Taft has begun to use glasses.
He needs them to see how much his
weight Is decreasing.
ALACRITY NEEDED.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

It's poor town that can't land Car
negie library.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala, post
office as seoond-class matter under act
of Congress March g. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Daily and sunday Age-Herald. ........ss.oo
Daily and Sunday, per month";. 10
Sunday Age-Herald per annum..... ZOO
Weekly Age Herald. per annum....... l.o0
Subscription payable In advance.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

L. II. Russ and George D. Britain are
the only authorized travelling representa-
tives of The Age-Herald in Its circulation
department.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19


The one goes out while standing still,
The other hunts a fence.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

Washington Bureau Age-Herald l4a @
street, n. W.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

A negro lawyer and banker Of
Nashville declined the position OF con.
sui at Bahia, Brazil, and set prece-
dent which made the members OF his
race gasp with establishment.
John D. Rockefeller Is sending out
souvenir books containing his photo
graph to 400 people who visited him
last summer. His check would no
doubt be more acceptable.
Now that the servant girls have or
ganized in Toledo they will be in
position to insist on entertaining men,
bers of the force in the parlor.
If It is a part of a cadets education
to stand on his head and do the rabbit
Dance" there is something radically
wrong with his education.
Now that Harvard has abolished
football. she is in position to laugh
at wise individuals who said that she
was only blufing.
Richard earle won $4,000 playing
roulette the other day, and he probably
feels good enough to write another
musical comedy.
The story that furs and overcoats
will be worn at the approaching Fair
banks reception is of course a canard.
Grover Cleveland is said TO be tired
of sitting on the insurance lid. Prob
ably the company makes him tired.
The Australian wool clip is estimated
at S92,500,000 What's the use to ring
In that old joke about Wall street?
Young Herrera is pugilist who sub
sists largely on brandy and big black
cigars. It is easy to see his finish.
Representative Herman is saying
very little In Congress, as becomes a
man who is under indictment.
A word to women: The work of
building Miss Alice Roosevelt's we'd
ding gown is now under way.
The Dingley tariff has been pro-
nounced infallible, but only Joe Can
non believes it was inspired.
Mr.. Balfour tried to ride two horses
at once-free trade and protection
and he fell between them.
Secretary Shaw hopes his informal
nomination will become formal in the
glad days of June, 1908.
The mother of twenty-seven children
eloped in Connecticut. 1t is easy to
see why she left home.
Littlefield makes light of the big
stick, but he would do we'll to avoid
being whacked by it.
Depew will not resign until he is
prodded to it. Invitations do not count
in his mind.
Mrs. Chadwick will find many old
friends in Bankers Row" in the Ohio
penitentiary.
Roosevelt longs to seek bigger game
in Africa, but he had better whip Con-
gress first.
Bucyrus, o., is to be purified. Are
you surprised that Bucyrus needs puri-
ficatlon?
"Scotty" is en- route east. What has
the east done to deserve such a vista
ton?
The hotels of Algeciras are pone too
good, and the conference will not last
long.
Arthur j. Balfour should go at once
to the Far East and become datto.
Nearly anybody can run for an office.
The difficulty lies in reaching 1t.
The f1ippant Rogers will soon know
what to do with questions.
A picture worthy of a masters brush
is presented at Algeciras.
The south's greatest general was
born SO years ago today.
Portsmouth Is Jealous of Aigeciras
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-19

No communication will be published
without It's authors name. Rejected man
uscripts will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1906-08-10
A Distinguished Lady Visitor.

Mrs. Sallie Lee and her son, Mr.. S.
s. Lee, Of Richmond, are spending the
summer in the city, stopping with Mr..
and Mrs. John S. Bottimore.
Mrs. Lees husband was brother TO
the late General Fitzhugh Lee, nephew
OF the famous Robert T.. Lee. She is "a
daughter of the late Senator Jno. w
johnson, Il former citizen OF Tazew ell,
and sister L. DR.. Geo. Ben. Johnson.
the celebrated surgeon and physician
of Richmond She was born herein
tie bric< house, OF the late Col. A. j.
May. This is her first visit To the old
home OF her birth and childhood, and
no doubt, she, her son and their many
relatives in this section are enjoying
this visit.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1906-08-10
Cutting no Ice, in Richlands.

w. b. Spratt, the Richlands lawyer
was here the other day, and was asked
about his town. He said everything
was getting on fine except the ice
plant. Contrary TO expectations and
promises no ice is being made, and
from all appearances none is likely to
be made soon. He said that the com
pany were still trying to untangle the
tanglcs and get matters straight. but
that the present out look was not en-
couraging. In other words the com
pany was cutting no ice i'm Richlands.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1906-08-10
The ]. F. Hurt
Insurance Agency.
!. F. Hurt, President. ]. R.
Laird. Secretary.
From Clear Fork.

Shawvers Mill, Va, August 6.
Mrs. jamie Lambert, who has the
fever, is no better.
Mrs. Joseph Britts has returned to
Graham after pleasant visit among
friends and relatives at this place for
a week.
Miss Nobiah Compton has returned
home after a two weeks visit among
her many friends on Mud Fork and
over at Highland
Mr.. w. l.. Shaver and wife and
their father were visiting friends at
Springville Saturday and Sunday.
Misses Dora snd Ethel Pruett are
visiting at Graham this week.
Mrs. VIII Gregory is not much bet
ter at this writing.
Mrs. John ShuGncbarger came home
frem Hicksvillc and reports her broth
cr, Mr.. Munsey, as getting along nice
ly now.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1906-08-10
Seems Strange
that Anybody

should overlook the vital matter
of carrying insurance on their
property.
Few men stop to think that
fires have a habit of occurring
unexpectedly. They never give
notice in advance. No man can
look into the future and tell what
Is going to happen. A man may
work and slave for years in aC-
cumulating a little property, but
fire is powerful enough to wipe
out his savings in an hour. We
are ready to talk fire insurance
when you are. You can buy the
best of every kind insurance from
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1906-08-10
The Register Booming

The Register records with peculiar
qualification the progress made in the
increase OF population of the commu-
nifty. Two arrivals, one each in the
families of John Newton and w. X.
Vermillion are added to the already
large number of paregouc patrons Of
the town.
The 18th baby in the family of
Crockett Thompson reached our shores
day or two ago. This completes a
list Of II boys and girls born in this
family. The President should be graft
fled, particularly as this entire family
is of his political persuasion.