The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-05-25

L IlhED ON III nlM AMI h1n 4dAI
FOR WHICH HE HANKERED."
you buy a bottle of it you can have
just as much confidence in it's virtues
as in the word of q member Of con-
gress.
No trust handles it.
You don't have to divvy with a men,
Der of the legislature.
There is no whack coming to the al
derman of your ward.
1t soothes a broken heart as we'll as
a broken leg.
None genuine without a yaller label
on the bottle. The yallerer the label
the more genuine the contents.
AS I was saying, 1 felt giddy over my
many virtues as I was driving along,
and I entered the town named with my
hat on my ear and exhilaration in my
heart. I was soon made aware that
my welcome was not what it should be,
and / speedily ascertained the
thereof. A seller of washing machines
who had proposed a partnership with
me and had been turned down and
ached for revenge had been in the
town for two days spreading stories to
my detriment. He had made a special
pint on my grasshopper, making out
that I was cruel to animals and there
fore sordid and wicked at heart. I had
skassly reached the tavern where I
was going to put up When a knot Of
choice and eminent citizens, headed by
the mayor, appeared, and the latter
said:
This town Of Chuck-It-Up hain't so
very much on business, but it is ready
to bank it's last dollar on sentiment. A
critter who will 60 at it deliberately
and maliciously to blast the life Of an
innocent grasshopper is not welcomed
among US. You have Just five minits
in which to skate"
Sir" says 1 in reply, d l look like
a critter who'd steal food from in front
of a cricket or strike an orphan grass-
hopper with a club"
mot skassly, but hain't 1t true that
you are carrying around a hopper in a
bottle agin his will and desires? It is
for hoppers to hop, to play and gambol.
to frisk and frolic. When you have
got one corked up in a bottle what
must his feelings be"
"Ill show you," says I, as I brings out
the bottle. Il found this hopper on the
wide prairie two years ago. He was
cold and hungry. He had been aban-
doned and was afraid. He was in
peril and had given up hopes. l res
cued him, and he has been with me
ever since. and there hain't a day that
he don't try to testify his gratitude.
Once a day I let him out to perform
his circus acts, as follers:"
With that I poured the hopper out on
the grass, and he amused the crowd
for ten minits with his circus and then
returned to the bottle.
There don't seem to be nothing cruel
about that" says the mayor. why l
keep q beetle in a cigar box myself, and
I can't say that he is suffering any.
Stranger, does it happen that your hop
per is anything of a fghter?"
Only jest enough to maintain his
rights in this world"
"Bekase if he was a bit of a fighter
and you had $40 to back him I would
bring out my beetle. The town of
Chuck-It-Up has a hundred and fifty
virtues to its credit, but it dearly loves
a little scrap now and then.p
/ intimated my Willingness to bring
about a tragedy and produced my
dough, and he sent for his beetle and
o had him on hand. The insects
were placed in an empty starch box on
the grass, and though I always strive
to foller in the footsteps of integrity
/ thought it no wrong to take as many
side bets as were offered. One Of these
for $2O-was with the washing ma
chine man. The Chuck-It-Uppers yell
ed to their beetle to go in and make the
splinters fly, while 1 said not a word.
In five minits 1t was all over, and the