The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-12
With the Long Bo,D
Eye nature,s walks shoot foMy as II flies. . !.
How to Live to Be 100 Years Of Age-M. Jean Flnot,
sickly French savant, Writes a Book on the
Folly of Dying Before You Are Ready-Methods
and Rules FOR the Longevity Club to Practice
-"Rye nature's walks, shoo'

~ JEAN FINoT, of little gay Paree where You
mn especially wish to accomplish the feat has
lV1 written book telling you how to live $50
wears AS Minneapolis is another place where $50
years of earhlife is song up to the l49th year, NJ
Finot's method is given here for everybody to con-
slider. S
All that is needed to live $50 years is to will to do
so, says Fino The reason persons do not live longer
the notion that they have to die at certain age and
as soon signs Of failing strength experienced
they do nothing to combat them, but just give up.
Along comes Father Time when you are, say, ss
years old and feeling pretty kinky You get up one
morning with frightful bend in you somewhere and
everything looks altogether wrong and things appear
decidedly the bad for father You go back to bed
Here is where NJ Finot tells you to get busy. When
the Angel of the Darker Drink looks at you and
marks questionngly "Twenty-three for fatherG' you
say, II won't do it. Get along with YOU This
surprises the messenger that he leaves the and
you arise and have breakfast.
So things slip along until you l02 and the
newspapers begin celebrate your birthday and to
keep your out looking tho it had been cured of
something by Pewinkler Magic Compound, standing
ea the rsg a up goa
in your glorious might and say, E:Not on your hour
glass" ~ 'stl@" : .-.t
So tho contest continues till your l5Oth year. By
this time you say ''well, perhaps and you are
gone. This bit Of indecison has cost you your life
"Beer and tobacco" says M. Finot most sensibly
are i1imea to iongeyity After you get to running
you are in luck If you get BY e. The death angel
puts cothespin on his nose and reaps you.
But if you do not live be $780, it is not such
Vs. ' ' NV N'''' 40
The Dunkards, a religious denomination, denounce
the telephone. Hundreds Of people who not relig
ious do that. ~.
E1bezt Hubbard says that the newspapers are all
bad The trouble is not sporadic or local or even
specific; it is Of general debility. Particular
papers not found guilty, papers Of all parties and
creeds, daily paper in this broad andeach and
signed to eternal disgrace. The trouble be
that they print the news. Ebert has recently fur
nished some news It was printed. Hence the news
papers are bad. -" &<@ ... B."
Litchfeld, N. d., thrown into fever last week
BY an astar between the fats and the
that Jack Gamin made the star for the fats Two
men in front pulled him around the diamond while
two more followed behind and pushed. Mr. Gamin is
now in the hands of the physicians.
Mr.. Bordwen cast his senatorial dignity to tho
winds and knocked the ball several feet into the dia
mond, making home run by proxy He collapsed at
Bowen pitched for the fats and bleachers all had
to dodge for he coudn It put the bah within ten feet
OF the plate Dennis Kelley shortstopped all the balls
with his feet Nothing passed Kelleys feet.
So fierce the contest that the Rev. Mr.. Fair
banks was called in to hold down the language The
score stood to T. but as there dispute as to
Wnlcn nao the eight, the contest will be fought all
over again as soon the fats get their second wind
zMA ...... !.
Bill he the big bass last Sunday, in fact the
father of all bass!
Very early in the morning little before dawn,
Bill backed out the automobile snorted few times,
emptied out about eight carloads Of bad gasoline odor
on the Minnetonka road and at Gray s bay Here
he turned off the SMELL took rowboat and proceeded
to beat up the bay with minnow after whales. -
AS he sitting in the back of the boat, the sun
glanced sideways thru the water and Bill, looking
down thru the svery depths, what appeared be
section sawed out of alligator. It took him but
moment to see that it bass voluminous that
he at first thought he looking at sunken barrel
the bottom. Bill had attack Of buck ague while
Che bass cuffed his minnow few times and them sud-