The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-21

he placed u black velvet smoking cap
that had a bushy tassel. Again seating
| himself in a nonchalant attitude, the pro-
fessOr slowed the peg leg under the table
we'll out of sight, rested one elbow on
top. with the hand supporting his chin,
and draped the tassel of the smoking cap
so as 10 conceal the blind eye. The other
optic was focused on an impressive work
of art on the wall depicting twelve diff
ferent styles of haircuts, shaves, and
trimmed boards at popular prices.
Law, Mr. Tokens. but you do look
grand; just like a real mana whole one,
l mean" said Mrs. Dopes. in a burst of
genuine admiration.
There's nothing like a dress rehearsal
for making these little affairs go off
smooth the professor admitted.
It's truly wonderful how you do it."
Il wrote her that 1 was pretty dis
! tinguished and thoughtful lO0kiEg-some
people might call il swell Now. when
| Henrietta calls you show her up here.
Introduce us and then set down and watch
me win her. Isn't that the bell?"
Yes, your lady love has came" sim
pered the landlady, hustling pOnderOusly
away TO admit the visitor
IF she had a little more furniture ]
could learn to love that piece Of calico.
sighed the tickle Mr. Tokens as the lady
again bumped both sides Of the portal In
| transit. But she's too wide, across the
naTTOws for me-tOO much beam for one
woman. Oh, well, there is others"
While the landlady steered the object Of
! the professors undying affection upstairs
| that designing person affected to be alb
sOrbed i'm finance Of the most intricate ma.
ture. With a pencil stub and a bit Of
paper. be jotted down in one column the
| nine dimes representing the cash receipts
| Of the day-and in q mt Of abstraction he
| placed the dollar mark 20 the left OF each
mineral
Soon the ladies. preceded by an odOr Of
home cooking, oozed into the room. Mrs.
Dopes escorting an agreeable yet simple
/ looking woman IN a subdued state Of cx-
citement betting the occasion.
| Professor. said the landlady who had
| grasQcd her part. allow me- to present
| Mrs Henrietta Jimlet- of this city"
Madam. ne seated. said that gay
! LOthaTio. without looking w and hating
/ the pencil point within an inch Of his
toCue-
Such lovely red Whiskers. whispered
Mrs. Dopes Hes "a very busy man."
Considerably awed by the smoking
! jacket, the whiskers, and the dangling
/ tassel Mrs Jimlet coUghed and impaired
the startling news that the night was
| quite foggy.
SO ! seen when ] came I'm. replied
/ the fascinstor Of the fair sex. DO you
/ know what makes fogs? The high. dry
air Of the valleys is bowed 10 sea. meets
a shift Of wind and comes back in feccy
chunks Iike-like Iather.
How poeticai," exclaimed tho laudlady,
while the professors working eye rested
/ for an instant on the haircuts, shavcs.
tslsr s-fn e1F her r-flt hoo NH
Mrs Jimlet unbuttoned her cape ard
confded to Mrs Dopes. in d loud whisper
/ that Mr. Tokens was the first and only
professor she had ever met personally.
And I like him real well" she added
Ny card. madam" he said. extending
the dirty pasteboard. The n stands for
/ Mortimer. or Morty for short"
/ so easy to get acquainted with. gig
/ gled the fascinated Mrs Jimlet and not
a bit giddy. either. Ny. what a long
word. Prof NJ Tokens Derm-Oh. dear
/ ] never could say &c at all I'm one breath"
/ That's dermatologist, said the fluent
| professor, Keeling it of like doughnut or
dago. 1t has to do with the features
/ the human phiz-ignOminy.
| Here Mr.. Tokens rested his brow on HIS
/ hand and lapsed into thought, which was
part of his winning system.
Gould you get ne q drink OF water?'
1 Mrs. Jimlet asked the landlady.
/ That discreet person ambled from the
| room, and the widow emitted a anguish
ing sigh.
I'm lonely woman, professor" she
said
! And I'm a lonesome. heart-free man, 50
he confessed, coyly tapping the floor with
the peg leg Nobody in the world to care
| for but my little Ike"
| r.cD4gov, Of y,,;-e-f.1
with the sound of the peg, the bull pup
! awoke from a doing trance, superinduced
/ by the surprising butter cakes. Ike i'm
agined he was again due for the jaw ex-
ercise that was yet to make him the
champion bulldog Of the world Darling
under the table, he grabbed the peg leg.
swung into the open, and proceeded to
shake Mr.. Tokens TO his very foundation.
IN the awful tragedy of his blighted pros
poets, the professor permitted himself to
be hauled bodily from the chair He top
pied a dead weight TO the floor The
tasseled smoking cap fell off and there he
spTawled. half a man and half tree in
the matter of limbs with face like s.
worth OF putty illumined by one staring
eye.
"Oh, you horrible manr' screamed Mrs.
Jimlet You fimfammer, You-you rem
nant and base deceiver that would make
love to a decent woman"
| Madam" Mr.. Tokens walled, broken
~. its all of now. Go home
IN go to the police station and have
you arrested. That pup has more man
hood than you ever saw. He exposed
your vile plot. Professor or no professor,
| you're the mednest man IN seven States.
There, now
After firing this deadly shot, Mrs Jimlet
| bounded out as Mrs. DoDes waddled ia
bearing a pitcher of water. Meanwhile,
Ike, having lost interest in the jaw ex-
ercise. owing to the presence of a
| stranger, had retToated under the bed
| once more and was keeping a bright eye
peeled for butter cakes.
Did you win herr" the landlady in
! quiTed. eXcitedly.
Help me up and leave me" moaned the
unhappy Mortimer, My future is blastedl
Demon rum for minet Prison stripes
and rock piiesl Heart dragging on the
ground Faithless woman, Durn fool
! dogI''
Mrs DoDes withdrew in a fIutter. Ieav-
/ ing the professor in the bosom of his
family And deep into the night the din
| Of lamentation, the scurrying footsteps
| of lightweight dog. and the occasional
| impact of a soft body against the wall
gave hint that an overzeaious bull pup had
cut out the jaw exercise and was con-
/ ditioning his wind and legs.
Historical.
From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.