davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
Less Danger at Sea.

Figures show. so far as past expert
ence can. that life on the deep Is grad
ually growing safer. Seamanship Is
improving. vessels are more stanchly
constructed: safety devices are added
constantly. Communication between a
vessel In distress and other ships by
wireless telegraphy is playing its i'm
portrait part iD the rescue OF threat
ened lives. The London Chronicle
writer notes also the patent sounding
machine. Lord kelvin's compass, i'm
proved speed measures. better methods
OF determining a ships position. better
lighting and submarine signaling, "by
which ship may oe warned OF the
proximity to land In the densest fog at
a distance certainly OF ten miles" The
passing OF the sailing vessel has also
contributed greatly to the safety OF
crews and passengers. -Philadelphia
Ledger.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18

ii the attempt of d few politicians
to array the Republican members Of
the Ohio legislature solidly against
the measure providing for an investi'
cation of the public Offices IN Cincin.
natl and Hamilton county is success
full it can not but result in great Injury
to the party. The result of the last
election makes it certain that the
vast majority of the people in Cincin-
natl believed they were being robbed
and plundered by their officials. Nc
other reason can be assigned for at
least 10000 Hamilton county Re-
publicans voting the Democratic
ticket. An investigation of their
public affairs Is now asked for, of the
Ohio legislature, and should DC grant.
ed. 1t should be searching one with
no chance for the cry of white wash
in the future if the Republicans de-
sire to carry that city and county at
the next election. If Republican Off
cials in the past have robbed the citi'
zens of Cincinnati, let it be known and
let them be punished. Don't protect
anv rascal simply because he claims to
belong to your political party. Grafters
know no party. Those who are oppos-
ing this investigation claim that they
are not doing so because they are
afraid, and that they favor an
investigation but say they only want
the bill changed 50 that the majority
of the committee making the investi-
cation shall be their friends. Such
an argument Is the verlest rot and
should deceive no one. In fact not a
friend of Cincinnati official has any
business on such a committee. His
friendship might induce him to hide
rascallty and thus defeat the very OBJ
ject of the committee. Let the persoa-
mel of the committee be as proposed,
three Republicans, three Democrats
and one Independent, and let them all
be men with whom the Cox gang
hasn't pull. If there has not been
crookedness In the conduct of affairs
In Cincinnati the committee cau't
find II. II there has the sooner the
public knows just what it is the better
for the Republican party and every
nua rnurarnad
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
cLossoN's QUEER CLOCK.
Freak Timepiece with Hands That
Went Around the Wrong
Way.

Don't hear much Of Bryan or
Dowie or Ingersoll or anarchy nova
days." remarked Capt. Bill, relates
the Newark News. Il suppose there
run down, like a clock | once saw
when was boy. Ever hear about
Blossoms clock?
well, Closson was matchmaker
in Springfield avenue, and one year
when business was dull he made this
clock I'm telling you about. 1t was
a good clock In its way, with an ex-
ira strong mainspring; its wheels
were sound and healthy, and you
couldn't tell 1t from a regular clock.
But Closson put it together backward,
for he enjoyed his little joke once
in awhile, although lots of people who
claimed to know him best would never
admit that he had a sense of humor.
80 his clock started out In life
with click and buzz, to do great
things, suppose; and its hands went
round the wrong way. People that
had time to waste would loaf In front
of the window all day and watch the
hands going wrong, and lot OF busy
folks set their watches by 1t TIL they
learned better, which they did pret'
ty quick. because n clock that has
only four lucid moments in "a hours
isn't going to be standard very long.
There were good many folks. too.
who stood up for the clock and gov
erned their movements by 1t, making
complicated arithmetical calculation
always to find what the real time
was: hut that got to he a nuisance.
and oue by one they dropped away and
returned to the old clock over the
church that had served them pretty
steady before Clossons clock appeared.
After that the new clock waved its
hands the wrong way and chimed rev.
olutions all the harder, and wondered
why its trade was falling off. And by
and by 1t ran down. and nobody took
the trouble to wind II up again.
"As was remarking." the skipper
concluded. this seems to be the safest
and sanest year in all history. Got
any tobacco?"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
WEIGHED IN THE BALANCE,
New Minister Neither Kept Hts Hear
ers Awake Nor Let Them
Sleep

so l hear you are going to part
with the new minister. the one that
came here from Brownsvilleg"
Jest so; hc didn't suit our folks at
all. responded Uncle Jesse Putnam
promptly. relates the New York Times.
well. you folks must be getting
hard to please. all Of q sudden. Now
you liked that oid-fashioned man. DR..
Patterson"
Nice. easy sort of teller; read his
sermons In a cam. unconcerncd kind
or way" interrupted Uncle Jesse. by
way Of comment.
"Yes. and then You took to young
Mr.. Banks-I thought you'd object to
him. after DR.. Patterson! Why, young
Banks was regular drebrand. full OF
vim and enterprise-delivered his ser.
mons In q loud excited voice. When
he, TOO. fitted into ihings here In Shell,
Dyviile. concluded you folks would
take 10 anyone that came along"
That's Just where you got fooled
remarked Uncle Jesse Now. they 5
lot OF us old fellers-fact Is. us old
fellers about run this Shelbyville
church. Old DR. Patterson. cam and
soothin' like. he suited us Then that
young feller. Banks-I tell you. ne
made things hum. and us old feliers set
up and listened to the music! Time
church was over we was pretty well
stirred up-hungry fer dinner and ned
a good afternoon nap.
But this new mon. from over to
rownsvilles-Uncle Jesse shook his
head-"W'y. he couldn't holler up loud
enough to keep q man good'n awake:
but that pesky voice OF his'n. wy. II
was jest loud enough and jumpyiike.
SOS TO keep me from gettin' nice
nap. like we used to get when old DR..
Patterson preached.
"The trouble with this new feller is
that he amt neither one thing nor
t'other!"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
CRIME RIFE IN LONDON.
to Keep Criminals in
Check.

London is paying the penalty paid
by all large cities. Crime Is inside
her gates In round numbers she has
to pay nearly sS,O00.000 q year to
keep criminals in check; for that is
the sum paid out to her police courts.
prisons and prosecuting officers. II
fails to include stolen property. losses
due 10 idleness OF criminals. losses
TO injured parties. etc. Serious
crimes. such as burglary. housebreak.
ing. cuunterfeiting, ETC., are increas-
ing.
Arrests are more frequently than
formerly, and each arrest adds to the
expense and loss account Of the city.
Estimates put the bill OF the city's
expenses as high as $10.000.000. In
other words, each taxpayer or head
of a household OF Ave persons pays
$6.81 a year for Lopdon's crime. Nor
do these millions make up tho total
loss. There are the hundreds of
thousands taken. consumed by the
criminals. hidden away, lost or de-
stroyed. Add then to these the
amounts paid by private parties to
prevent burglary. ETC.. watchman.
caretakers. burglar alarms. door and
window fastenines. safes. revolvcrs.
life protectors. dogs. etc. and one be-
gins TO get faisly good idea OF what
are the losses due To crime in large
city.
A table prepared In London puts
the police and courts down for So
l49, 1000. the prisons for s5S3.9s0, lost
property for si,2i6.625. loss by in.
1uries. assaults. etc. S973.300; loss
In labor Of criminals. ETC.. sl.167.9 $50,
or total Of si3.OsO.Ss5. These ap-
palling figures cover often only the
welLknown items How many hun.
dreds. thousands or even millions
escape the vigilant eye Of the e.-
perts. No millions like Is or II are
able to measure the real losses.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
Tommy's Conclusions.

Il just heard to-day. mamma" said
little Tommy, that sausages are made
OF dogs, but 1t isn't so, is it?"
why, certainly II isn't so. Tommy"
said the little boys mother. smiling a,
the open mouthed wonder in which he
asked the question,
II didn't quite believe 1t, mamma,
but thought II 1t was so that the sau.
sages that come like fishballs must be
made OF pups. and the long ones that
are built like bananas must be made
OF greyhounds. IN. Y. Times.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
The NEW REGIME IN EUssIA
What the Warrington Star lzumor-
list Thinks May Be tho Prev
alsnt idea.


We'll. Brisk, how has she been head
ing In my absence?"
"In the right direction. hope. AT
any rate, we've done our best. How's
PARISH"
Great! truly greatl But there are no
particulars was told there that |,
Partisan record is Cancelled when the
visitor leaves town. Still, I'm glad to
be back. even with the country turned
upside down. and people looking every
way for sunday"
Get mauy pointers about . free
press and all that?"
MY hoy. I bad a strange experience.
! met an American. who IL the Paris
correspondent Oh one OF the leadipa
newspapers of his country. and he
warned me against Partisan models
Very bright fellow and talks like n
house a-fre Never heard man fuller
of his subject. lie says the real thing
In the free press line is in America
The newspapers over there have never
had bit In their mouths. aud go the
gait He advises me to go over myself.
or send somebody. and says I'll thank
him later for the suggestion How does
another trip to America strike you? I
can't spare he time
~ should like e. That Portsmouth
jaunt was every pleasant"
well this is the Americans idea.
lie says that sooner or later we shall
have rings in this country. and when
exposed the need vigorous handling.
lie recommends New York for study
OF rings and how to rattle them Then
when congress meets we shall want to
handle that in the best style A visit
TO Washington will help MS out there.
Then we must boom our tow--keep n
before the public in the light of the
greatest ever Let me see. Where do
we 20 to study that trick? A big town
back In the country somewhere"
"Chioago?"
Spell IT"
&C h-i.c-a.g.o"
Pronounce IT.
"Shc-kaw-go- with the accent on the
second syllable "
That's the place-Chicago. Well.
we 60 there to learn how to boom town
And that's poinl we must cover par
tlcnlarly. ! want the Mail to lead in
advertising St Petersburg New YORK.
Washington and Chrago. then. should
supply you with all you'll need, and
;hatIl give us lift Wen arrange
the "trip But not a word abont II.
Just disappear when the time comes.
and cave your cronies guessing. No
letters. understand, except few of a
private nature to me. giving a sngges-
'ion CT two. as they may occur. Wen
make the Mail bang-up sheet. Brisk.
or break the prcssos ia the attempt"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
HOUSE INSURGENCY.

New York Globe: A group of Re-
publican insurgents" such as the
one now operating, has apparently
became regular feature of thelower
house of congress. Why is 1t, al
though the movement begins jubi-
lantly, with loud proclamation of how
the tyranny of the house leaders is to
be overthrown, the insurrection so
quickly hattens-the formidableness
of the cloak rooms dwindling to negli-
gibility In the rollcall ?
The reason plainly lie that the in
surgents do not select the proper sort
OF insuE!ecllon subj :ct matter. They
revolt, not against what the people
do not want, but against what they do
want. For example, the declared OBJ
ject of this years outbreak Is the de-
feat of the Philippine tariff and joint
statehood bills. 1t Is an era of in
creasing political independence, of dis
satisfaction with bosses, when the
public galleries are anxious to ap.
plaud the brave member who strikes
off his shackles. But when the par
Ocular thing that is proposed is the
denial of a square deal to the national
wards 1t Is difficult to get up en-.
thuslasm. Likewise the popular
crockles do not warm to the idea of
manufacturing more sage brush
states.
Instead of rallying In behalf of spe-
ciai interests, the house. insurgents
might try to break away In behalf of
GENERAL iuterests
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18

Mrs. Young-John, l hate to ask
you to go into this store with me, but
/ have to match this ribbon, and
Mr.. Yonpg-That's alright my dear.
The ribbon counter girl in there is the
sweetest, pret,iest little
Mrs. Young-Oh, guess l can put
1t Of till some other day.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
Little Fighting Necessary.

Senator" asked the inQuisitive
girl, would you accept a railroad
pass?"
mo. I always insist on having
mileage books. They make II so much
easier for me to dgure up the mileage
I charge against the governmer."-
Chicago Tribune.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
Entered at Postoffice Hillsboro, Ohio
as second class matter.

The people are demanding railroad
rate legislation and If the present
congress will not give 1t to them they
are certain to see that enough changes
are made to get what they want from
the next congress.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18

The use of patronage to build up
political power is an outrage on the
public and is not going to prove as
successful in the future as in the past.
The man who places an incompetent
In Office solely for the few votes he
can control will be held responsible
by the general public who are paying
the hills
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18

Mrs. Jawback--You always make
me walk or taks astreet car now. Be
fore We were married yeu never failed
70 call carriage.
Ar. Jswback--ThatS the answer.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
Tremendous Posi- biIity.

Among the tremendous possibilities
of future wars is that there Is likely
to be regiment OF rough riders COM
posed exclusively OF namesakes OF
Col. Theodore Roosevelt. = Chicago
Tribune.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
Rstween Friends.

Clara-Freds mother called on me
shorily after our engagement. She
says he is the flower Of the family.
Maude-I guess that's right. His
Uncle John says he is a blooming
idiot. Chicago Journal
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18

"You arc getting too econor,'c csl.
dear" said Mr.. Tackspare. "It's ali
right to save money OF li,''e things.
but when it comes to serdrc me a
2o'cent telegram to tell me where to
60 to save seven cents on that snow
shovel, It strikes me you are getting
too conscientious"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
Sarcasm,

How'd ye like to hire out to me
this spring. Jabez?"
I'm do It II you'll hire my two boys.
Kin ye do that?"
Il kin. but | don't perpose to. Pm
running a farm. not life insurance
company" = Louisville Courier. Jour.
nal.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
In Praise of the Physician,

Abuses exist in every walk OF life.
but no class pf men work harder to
keep their profession clean than ply
sicians do.-Collier's Weekly.
City Editor-That new reporter is
all right.
Managing Editor--Found that out
already
City Editor-Yes. Ieave him an
obituary to write and never once did
he say, "By his own unalded efforts he
arose from the ranks to a command.
ing position among his fellow men"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
Ma Twaddles-Tommy, what do you

Ma Twaddles-Tommy what do you
mean by coaxing.this horrid dog home
with you?
Tommy Twaddles-Ididn't coax him
Ma--honestII didn't. ! throwed things
at him to make him quit following
me, but 1t didn't do no good.
Ma-What did You throw at himp
Tommy--Oh, bones an things.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18

"Do you joke writers ever make
Jokes at your own expense ?"
"Eor the arst few years all our joke .
are made that way. After that, II
we're lncky. We get paid for EN-"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18

who is that dusty chap In the blue
overalls?"
That's our leading author"
why, he doesn't look literary"
mot now. He's spendin' his vacation
digein' wells for Q livin'."-Atlanta
Constitution.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
Orderly Retreat.

Madge-Why do you think she was
passed the age OF 80?
Millicent--Because she Invariably
says "us girls. Puck.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18

The Clerk-Are those people to
whom you are 20 polite your swell
customers ft
The xpigor-oh, goodness, no /
TAsse ~ " people w pay cash.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
LITTLE POCKET PHYSICIAN
Hyomei Inhaler that is Guaranteed
by The w. r. Smith Co. to Cure
CataPrh.

Thousands who have been cured by
Hyomei, call the inhaler that comes
with every outfit "The little pocket
physician" as it is 80 small that 1t can
be carried in the pocket or purse.
There is really no excuse whatever
for anyone having catarrh now that
Hyomei is so readily obtalnable. If
you have any doubts about its value,
The w. r. Smith Co. will let you have
a complete outfit with the understand.
ing that unless 1t cures catarrh, II
will not cost you cent.
A complete Hyomei outfit consists
of "the little spocket physician" a
medicine dropper, and bottle of Hy-
omei, and costs only o., while add.
tional bottles of Hyomei can be pro-
cured for so cents, making 1t the
most economical, as we'll as the most
reliable treatment for the cure OF
catarrh.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
Their Usual wrapgle.

The Doctor-You drink too much tea.
Tea turns the stomach into leather.
The Professor-7Well there's nothing
like leather for keeping the sole OF Q
lnan above the earth. Tribune.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18

Philanthropist-My poor man. you
srein trouble, Isee. why doyou'wripg
your hands?
H0bo--I just washed 'em.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18

,"Why did 'poor Fewscads leave a.
rectious that his funeral must take
place after Q O'Clock in the evening P"]
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18

"Life is but an idle dream" COM
planned the poet.
swell, get busy and wake mp - said
the editor, VINO was tired of him.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18

"well, you zee dress suit was the
only decent looking clothes he had
less"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-01-18
Editorial Symposium
Selected the Columns of the Leading Newspapers
of America.

but as soon as they get In, they left
their duties and rushed of into poll.
tics TO pester the legislature for up.
necessary pay. The rule ought to be
where an officer is not satisfied with
his compensation, to get out, and let
some other one of the score of good
men wanting 1t, take the place, and
the legislature, from an interest tc
the whole people, ought to rebuke
him by some prohibition at the start
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1906-10-19
MRS. M'LEAN WAS PRESENT.
D. A. r. Society President Attends
Minnesota State Meeting.

Northiield. Oct. l5-The Daughters
of the American Revolution took North
field by storm for their twelfth annual
meeting The arrival of Mrs. Donald
Mclean, president general. OF the Ma
tional Society of the ID. A. r., was de-
layed by the trains until the afternoon.
In the morning business session was
held and reports of officers and chap
tiers were given. There was Il musical
program under the direction of Prof.
William Leonard Gray OF the Carleton
College School of Music The ladies OF
the Congregational church served a
lunch at n6oa at which talks were given
by Miss Olive May Brooks of the kee-
wayden chapter, Mrs. J. c. Applegate
of Cannon Falls. Mrs. r. III. Benham of
Minneapolis and Miss Margaret j..
Evans of Carleton college. A reception
was given in the afternoon by Mrs. }.
c. Nutting. and in the evening Mrs.
Mclean gave a public address, the pro
ceeds from admissions. going to the
fund for tiie1 continental hall.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1906-10-19
BOON TO THE ARMERS.
Rural Routes Are a Great Help to the
u n,.~ Country People.

rrQm trldays daily.
The. rural routes were established Tor
the benefit of rural homes or in other
words the farmers. They have proven
greater benefit and blessing to the
farmers than was anticipated by the
most sanguine. A farmer who has once
enioved the advantages OF the rural
mail service would hardly know how
to live without it. 1t did not come to
the farmer. however, until he had many
times earned it. The farmers are our
heaviest taxpayers. What property
they have is in plain sight and is taxed
while the city corporations, at least
many of them, who deal in notes and
bonds are enabled to hide their wea IN
from the assessor. For quarter OF a
century the mail has been carried to the
city home, not once, but many times
each day. Finally the big heart of
Uncle Sam has reached out. to the men
who feed the world. ~
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1906-10-19
THREE MEN ESCAPE AS
BUILDING FALLSW HEAP
~ = e
Stonemasons Working Under a New Ulm
Structure Have Narrow Escape From
Death; Police Chief klause
Sounds an Alarm.
From Fridays Dali

From Fridays Dali.
Z" Three New Tim men were within u
very few seconds of ii horrible death
before eight o'clock this morning. They
can attribute their safe deliverance to
the warning of Chief of Police Klause, who
saw their impending danger The trio. Al
bert Ring, Joseph Albis and Anton
Klaus, stonemasons. were building a re
tanning wall in the excavation for a
basement under the REIN building with
three doors. of the Dakota house. Unr
mindful of the danger which threatened
them they were working quietly, and it
was only through the timely appearance
of the police chief that they were noti-
fed hastily that. the building above them
was about to collapse. Dropping their
teols the. three. men found their way, to
safety just as tn, two story structure
of brick and stone fell in. Il heap.
The building was purch|ai sed last April
by c. G.. Rein. the ieweler, from Rhode
s aklpze, tailqrs,a who continued to soci
3dupys 1t unfit OCT SIS Since THAT date
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1906-10-19

the structure has been vacant and UNI
dergoing repairs. An excavation had
been dug for a basement and founda-
ton was in process of construction. The
south wall became undermined and this
morning few minutes before eight
O'Clock as Chief of Police Klause walked
by the place he saw the brick and stone
bulge outward. He knew that several
men were at work under the building
and he gave them the alarm. All three
escaped but had they remained in the
basement one or two seconds longer they
wcrll have persisted under the mass of
stone and brick.
Tie building is total wreck and
part OF the debris lies in the street while
the balance is piled high in the newly
dug basement. Tie crash made an aw-
full noise and timid residents of the
town thought an earthquake was play
ing sad havoc with the buildings.
Mr. REIN paid $500 for the building
last-sprin@ and was having it remodclcd
for the. purpose. of occupying 1t as a
jewelrv store.