The Washington times., 1906-02-04

~GLL&
and at many of our best dances the
police whistle starts the numbers
and blows good gumbo into the
weary Tevelers when the hour Of
midnight approaches What would
the social and business world do
without the police whistle?
Changing the tense from present
TO past, but sticking 10 gumbO and
the rest of it. the grand prize waltz
was announced at midnight. The
success Of the winner in one in
stance, at least. depended on the
strength of his drag. They made me
chairman of the Committee on Award
and tossed in a graft proposition on
the side. Being from Philadelphia
readily fell for the graft, and let my
self and influence 10 gang methods.
The star walters objected TO local
men on the committee, fearing
faVcritism, they said. The prize
waltz was TO be strictly on its merits.
So a couple Of spTightIy citizens in
a spirit of Jest came up and corrupt
ed me. They would select a com
mittee of Northern guests and make
me chairman Of that honorable body
IL | would award the frosted cake
TO NJ. It'd Gilman. Moreover. the
graceful Tid would, in a spirit of re-
ciprocity, cut the cake and pass one
half of It among the judges and their
lady friends.
Half a cake was better than none.
The proposition sounded good. Be
sides. Tid Gillman's kid brother-in-
law once borrowed my shotgun and
blew his eye out II was up 10 me
10 do something ioT the family, so,
in a moment of weakness. I became
a CRATER. The committee cOmpTis-
ed myself, who never danced a lick
on earth: a retired young railrOader
from Illinois with a cork leg; a deaf
gentleman from Michigan, and an
Indiana patent medicine doctor in
Prince Albert coat and white vest.
There had TO be some dignity on the
committee, and that coat and vest
filled the bill. The conspiring citi-
zens pointed out It'd Gilman, in
gorgeous chintZ masquerade cos
tune, and I put my fellOw-judges
wise. It was necessary to tow the
deaf Judge into the tall pines back
OF the-=Aall and explain things to
him so as not to expose the graft
doings and alarm the contestants.
While the walters spun and whiZ-
zed the committee stood in the mid
die of the floor 10 pass judgment
on the various degrees Of grace,
style, and execution which, l believe.
are the points Of award in prize
dances. We never once looked at
lid Gilman and his girl. They had
a sure thing, and knew 1t. Every
little while we tossed a couple out
of the going. The gent touched his
heels TO the floor, or didn't touch
them. or had mud on his heels. ANY
old reason was good enough Final
ly the thing sifted down 10 Gilman
and a gallant young plumbers assist
ant, Who could do some waltzing
himself But what's the use? He
hadn't fixed any deal for the cake,
end the plumber soon went over the
hign jumps. TbeTeupon the grafterS
the deaf gentleman from Michigan,
the patent medicine man, the one
legged TailTOader and myself
mounted a position of honor on the
platform and fixed our mouth for
cake. It'd made good. all right He
had to or be exposed by the party
on the platform turning reformers.
He came up smiling and sweaty
about the face, owing TO long con-
inement in an aiT-tight mask, and
passed out half the frosted cake cut
into huge slabs. No one ever found
cut about the corrupt prize waltz.
hut l know one grating judge who
dreamed the rest of the night of be-
ing in prison for maifeasance in Of
fee. Said CRATER is not deaf, he has
no wooden leg. nor is he in the pat
ent medicine line. I'm sorry now
yielded to temptation. and I'm glad
to make this late confession. My
one hope is the defeated candidates
will not rise up and swat It'd Gill
nan when they learn about his ILL
gotten frosted cake.