The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-06

rected elizabeth Copyrighted 1906,
by Ruby Douglas)
HUMOR or TIE p<y
Grace-No. wouldn't let you kiss ne
il you were the only man in the summer
Jack-xou can bet I wouldn't worry
about 1t II had q cinch like that
American Spectator.
Hell read today In q newspaper that
the best emergency ration" for hfeOoat-
men who have been out for many hours
in the cold without food is chocolate.
boat, Fred, we might meet some Of these
poor men Don't you think you'd better
Chocolate creams ?-Y onkers Statesman.
Church, see they are crying for more
missionaries over in Africa
Gotham-Why, those cannibats must be
regular gluttons.-Yonkers Statesman
Miss Mugley-I'm thinking seriously OF
taking Up the auto fad.
Miss kuox-CIever idea. It certainly
would be becoming to you
Miss notwithstanding
Miss Knox=Yes; you know, you can
wear a mask in an Philadelphia
Press.
Barmaid-Have I given you your change,
Artful customer-No. miss; have not
Barmaid-I thought not, because you
have not paid yet.-Smiles.
He Cwatching a number Of women say
ing "good-by'' at the wearisome end Of a
tea)-Women are usually diiatory in
bringing their functions to a close, are
sheEYes. But never In bringing their
clothes to a function.-E1arper' Weekly.
There's no bridge over the Hellespont.'
unused Hero, and where there's no bridge
there's no society in the true sense, so
I'll just stay on this side And that was
why Leander had to swim for 1t.-Puck-
He-The banks say there Is a scarcity
sha@Wen. can eat two and . half
plates of Ice cream.-New York Sun.
What makes you regard your money
as thing Of so much Importance ask
ed the somewhat cynical man.
The eagerness Of 50 many. people to
get some Of It away from me-" answered
Mr.. Dustin Stax.-Washington Star.
What is a practical joker"
4'One that you can sell for dollar and
buy bread with Judge.
Mrs. skinnum-why are you all hiding
Little Lizzie-Tomny is the butcher
come with his Philadelphia Record
my good man. said the kind old lady.
stepping before cell 41.144, what are you
'Robbin' de guests in a hotel. num-
-Afilwaukee Sentinel
YES, the bride was given away by her
eldest brother"
well, the old mans very conscientious;
he said he couldn't act a lie like that be-
her husband. '-PhiladeIphia Press.
wife-when you proposed to me you
said you were well Off.
Husband-And I told you the truth
Wife-Then, how do you account for the
fact that you haven't any money now!
then, but was single.-Chicago News.
Head Of Laundry-So, Betsy. I heaS you
are going to be married You. must let
me know what you'd like me to give y-oG
towards your trousseau..
Betsy-Please, ma am, I've got some CT
Head Of Laundry-Really. What have
BIZ Bet sSe ma am. I've got six cups
and saucers and glass case of stuffed
birds.-Punch
Jigg-Why did dickinson give up his
club when he got married?
Biggs-Weu he said his wife could al
ways find him there when he went out
nights.-The Bohemian.
BIeJigger-Of course. you've heard about
AIeekley. Poor fellow! He's lost his pow
er of speech.
Thingumbob- Nonsensei Why, only this
morning he was married to Miss Strong
- MOI Nc i islse Press.
my brave comrades began the gener-
al, while the troops stood at attention.
gagement and didn't get q scratch This
IS magnificent, but It isn't var
The troops shifted uneasily. wondering
Il II have here continued the general.
"a bag of beans You will each extract
bean. Those who draw, black will be
told on to play polo. We've simply got
to achieve a hospital record or be queer
with pa1lid faces the men began to
draw--Philadelphia Ledger
How many children have your
Two living and one writing Jokes for a
daily paper.''-Cleveland Leader
Is there any redeeming treat in an an
a yes" answered the European mon
arch bad Workmanship. W ashington
she-Did you notice the beautiful palms
- HeNThe only palms saw were the
walters Boston Transcript
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFrom the Atchison Globe.l
No woman is satisfied until she is
able to shop in a carriage
dog fight Is q good deal like a man
drht. both dogs really want to quit.
Every railroad man SAYS every other
railroad man has a mighty easy time.
An old rounder says women always
crI- and confess, whereas men always
deny It to the last.
Every father argues that because
the baby is his is no reason Why he
should enjoy caring for It when Il
cries.
Men in the penitentiary have just
enough to eat, and think they do not
have enough; free men have too much