The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-23

elected because some ill-advised per-
a chance. He can't be worse takes
into his confidence three ministers, a
lawyer, two bank presidents and a
Door of Hope superintendent, and sets
out to give the city a clean and hon
est business administration. He asks
for suggestions as to the appointment
of a chief of police. The superintend-
ent sits up and suggests the lame of
Henry Movable.
"'Hennery is a good man. he re-
marks. Also he's familiar with po-
lice matters. He once spent four days
looking into the subject and wrote a
magazine article on the corruption of
municipal constabulaly.' Henry gets
the job and goes to work to take the
police out of politics. Within two
weeks every copper on the force is
familiar with the names OF the princi-
pal magazine contributors, where
manuscript can be disposed of to the
best advantage, and the Second-story
men are going cheerfully to their work
at nine every evening Mayor BliItz
is so busy receiving encouragement
from his friends that he has little time
to hear the complaints. He knows that
no policeman is to be found near a
side door-they are not to be found
anywhere else either. In every sta
ton house is to be heard the merry
ol;o1v Of tho tunauvr,fnr ~ tho Iaon
rumble of Emersonian essays. Re-
form has got in it's deadly work. The
mayor has appointed Charles Flint
Jackson to the head of the plumbing
department, and Charles, a likely
youth with eyeglasses, has stopped the
leaks, but the sewer gas is choking
the city to death. In the fire de-
partment you will find the iremen
going merrily to their duties, but
cursing when they get there owing
to an order which forbids water to be
turned on the hydrants except between
two and five. That. my boy, is the
average reform"
But is no reform successful, dear
uncle?" inquired Little billy, anx-
iously.
Indeed it is" responded his uncle,
genially. But not the usual civic
kind. That only serve to show the
public where they got in wrong. The
real reform is not of that brand. 1t
does not get up on it's hind legs and
Shrek madly about what it is going
to do, but crawls merrily on its stom-
ach TO the props that uphold the
graft-ridden structure, kicks them out,
and when the crooks have regained
consciousness they find themselves In
jail. That is the only reform worth
talking about, billy, and it pleases
me to note that one or two men are
using that kind. Shy, my dear lad,
at the DOGGY of the business admins
tration reform. 1t is a faded flower.
| do not want a business administra-
ton, Dilly, and / can assure you that
the great majority of the people are
with me in this. You may ask why.
In strict confidence l will tell you,
but you must not breathe it. 1t is
this: The American business man is
altogether too fly. We are afraid of
him."
But are not reformers sincere?"
asked Little Dilly.
Sincere indeed" responded Uncle
George with a smile. Sincerity is
their watchword, blu. l grieve to say
that this sincerity only applies to the
rapidity with which they make friends
with the reporters. Those are the pro-
fessional reformers, however, my boy.
The real brand are never known as re-
formers at all. They are merely men
with a keen sense of the public wrong,
and they are too busy to talk about
themselves and what they hope to do.
Instead of wasting time SO valuable,
they occupy it by going before the
grand jury and dragging down a hat
full of indictments, which are served
and satisfied before the recipients are
getting their first coffee in the morn
ing"
But reformers are of service to our
country, are they not, dear uncle?"
inquired Little Oily.
Some of them, Dilly, are about as
much use IS a gold collar button would
be to an Igorrote."