The Washington herald., 1906-12-30

wreathed clock above the manteI-
/ piece. Ito know where to begin reforming
yourself?"
Great Heavens" exclaimed the bache-
Tor you are not going to do anything
like that. are you?"
The widow pointed solemnly 10 the
hands Of the clock, which indicated i 80.
and then to the calendar on which hung
one futtering leaf marked December g.
1t is time she sighed, to begin our
mental housekeeping. TO sweep out our
collection OF last years follies. and dust
| of our petty sins and fling away our old
vices and"
That's the trouble broke in the
bachelor. It's so hard to know just what
to throw away and what to keep. Max
ing New Years resolutions is ike doing
the spring hOusecleaning or clearing out
a drawer fun Of old letters and sentmen-
tai rubbish. You know that there are
! lots Of things you ought To get rid Of
4 and that are just in the way. and that
you would be better off without, but the
minute you make up your mind 70 part
with anything, even a tiny. Insignificant
| vice, it suddenly becomes 50 dear and at
/ tractive that you repent and begin 10
take new interest in IL. The only time
1 ever had to be taken home in a cab
was the day after I promised TO sign the
/ pledge and the bachelor sighed rem
iniscenty.
And the only time ] ever overdrew my
! bank account declared the widow, was
/ the day after / had resolved 10 econo-
mize. / suppose" she added. pensively.
/ that the best way 10 begin would be TO
/ pick out the worst vice and discard that.
And that will leave heaps Of room for
/ the others and for a lot of new little sins
! besides. won't it," agreed the bachelor
! cheerfu!ly. Well" he added. philosophi-
I cally, IN give up numbering
/ What The widow started
Don't you want me to-" asked the
+ bachelor. plaintively, rubbing his bald
/ spot. "Or perhaps ! might resolve not 20
/ commit highway robbery any more or to
/ stop forging, or"
All of which is so easy broke In the
widow. sarcasticaIly.
/ "There'd be some glory and some .rea-
/ son in giving Up a big vice" sighed the
bachelor, If fellow had one. But the
/ trouble is that most Of US men haven't
/ any big criminal tendencies. merely a
/ heap Of little follies and weaknesses that
I there isn't any particular virtue in sac
/ rifcing or any particular harm in keep
ing"
And which YOU always do keep. in
+ spite Of all your New Years vows" re-
marked the widow, ironically.
HUH The bachelor laughed cynical
". It's our New Years vows that help
/ US TO keep EN-. The very fact that a
/ fellow has sworn 10 forego anything.
whether it's a habit or a girl. makes it
more attractive I've thrown away a
/ whole box Of cigars with the finest inten-
( tons in the world and then gotten Up in
( the middle Of the night 10 FISH the pieces
/ out Of the waste basket And that mid
night smoke was the sweetest I ever had
/ It was sweeter than the apples 1 stole
when l was kid and than the kisses
stole when
IF you came here TO dilate on the JOYS
/ Of sin, Mr. Travers," began the widow
coldly.
And" proceeded the bachelor I've
made up my mind TO stop flirting with a
girl because 1 found out that she was be
ginning toto
4 understand" interrupted the widow,
sympathetically.
and by jove!" finished the bachelor.
I had 10 restrain myself TO keep from
going back and proposing TO herr
How lucky you did, commented the
| widow, witheringly
But / wouldn't have" explained the
| bachelor ruefully. If the girl had re-
strained herself"
Nevertheless, repeated the widow. 1T
was lucky-fOr the girl
Which girl?' asked the bachelor 'The
girl broke of with or the girl that came
afterward?"
1 suppose unused the widow. ignoring
the levity. and leaning over 10 arrange a
bunch Of violets at her belt, that is why
IL Is so difficult for a man 10 keep a
promise or a vow-even a marriage vow
oh. | don't know The bachelor lean
ed back and regarded the widows coro-
net braid through the smoke from his
cigar. 1t isn't the marriage VOWS that
are so difficult to keep It's the fool vows
a man makes before marriage and the
fool promises he makes afterward that
he stumbles over and fails down on. The
marriage vows are so big and vague that
you can get all around them without
actually breaking them. but if they
should interpolate concrete questions into
the service such as, DO you William.
promise not to grOwl at the coffee
or. Do you, Mary, promise never to
put daub Of powder on your nose
again? broke in the widow.
Nor TO look twice at your pretty ste
nographer," continued the bachelor.
Nor to lie about your age. or your
foot. or your waist measure"
Nor TO juggle with the truth whenever
you stay out after half past 10"
Nor to listen TO things that-that any
body-eAcept your husband-may saw To
You in the conservatory-oh see how il
ieeis" finished the widow. with a sympa-
thetic little shudder
And yet" reflected the bachelor ga
woman is always exacting vows and
promises from ethe man she loves always
putting up bars-for him to jump over:
when if she would only leave him alone
be would be perfectly contented to stay
within bounds and Craze in his own pas-
tuTe- man hates being pinned down,
but a woman doesn't want anything
around that she can't pin down. from her
belt and her theories 10 her hat and her
husband"
We'll" protested the widow. studying
the toe Of her slipper. 1T is a satisfaction
20 know you've got your husband fasten
ed on straight by his promises and held
In place by his vows. and that he loves
you enough To-"
Usually" interrupted the bachelor "a
man loves you IN inverse ratio to his pro-
testatiOns. The lover who promises all
things without reserve is too often like