davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
Senator Sorghum's Primer.

Read and enjoy when you have min
ute; pat IL down when the minute is
done.
This is the recipe for the proper treat
ment OF some Helpful Hints on the
Science Of Not Getting the Worst Of II, -"
as Philander c. Johnson sub-titles his
latest book II you have more than a
minute, go right On-the book Will never
hurt anybody, and it viii do the world
good by increasing its visible supply of
smiles.
Here in Washington we know Senator
)rghum We have met MIN a thou
s, nd times. and we have learned 10
know his wisdom More than the people
of any other city, we can appreciate
the sapieucy of bis immortal Observa-
uOn-'"The speech making habit merely
operates as a handicap when you want
tu clHug1 gyuT m.uI. I5IT just now tne
important thing is not the impending
epidemic Of public talks, but the fact
that the genial and incisive Sorghum
has put 200 nuggets of his philosophy
into a good book
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
SATURDAY, DECEMBER l. 1906
Patient Camel-MOre Load.


The President, unless all eXpee-
tations are due TO be disappointed,
is going to make especial efforts to
pass the ship subsidy bill at this
session. That means that he is pre-
pared 10 put TO severe test his
popularity with the great West
The West has small favor for the
subsidy proposal 1t has a theory
that the tariff schedules have
amounted, ever since the war, to a
huge subsidy for the general bene-
fit of the East as against the West.
i is still more convinced that
n shipping subyention plan would
work in the same way. The home
market justification of high tariff
rates has pretty we'll worn out with
The Western farmer. Likewise, the
foreign market justification of a
ship subsidy is worn out even be-
fore the scheme is tried. The ag-
ricultural community has discOv-
cred that it is furnishing the bulk
of exports. and that they are get
ting to the foreign market without
much apparent difficulty.
But the President is the Vests
idol. You can read this in any
newspaper, and the Congressman
who, by dint OF determined attach
ment 10 the Presidential coat-tails,
have insured continuance Of their
status ''in our midst" will under
score ii. The President wants the
West to make this concession TO
kim, and he will very likely get it.
Eut the concession will not be
made without determined protest.
Representative Burton stands pat
on his purpose 10 fight the meas
use: and there could hardly be
found a more effective leader OF
insurgency. Western Republicans
who line up for the measure win be
tOulIbultl Win ttdllDllilEH iDI tA'
plantations, and unable TO find ef.
fective shelter behind the Presi.
Dental skirts. The West is not
without interest in transportation;
but il wants freight rates in the
West reduced. not ocean rates. II
wants tariff subsidies cut off. and
IL finds that instead shipping sub
sides are To be added. Even its
loyalty to the President may yet
be strained.
It viii be recalled that "a good
many Western States went Repub-
lican by mighty close margins in
the recent election. The ship sub
sidy leaders might devote a profit
able hour TO looking over those re
turns and learning what the West
has ON it's mind.
The Washington times., 1906-12-01

asked, the amount of money spent
every year on charity, mistaken
charity, ranged from $4,000 to $780,
600.
Was it worth while? Did it payf
Is the new way better? Do the
two associations which have
wrought this change deserve your
support? Would you rather help
TO make self-supporting citizens
than to make paupers2
These are questions which you
win have to answer-you can't get
away from them-as the winter
draws on and you meet again that
familiar appeal
Lady! Please give me a nickel
TO buy some supper"
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
Harden as a Mind-Reader.

When VIII n Harben was in London
recently he was told by a friend OF
meeting a curious-IOoking American who
had gleefuuy hailed him as a compa-
I triot. and then after most inquisiuvely
asking qeustiOEs as 20 his business in
England. had given full particulars re-
garding himself
A few days later, in South Kensington
Museum, Harden was approached By a
man who answered the description OF
the queer American
The man greeted Harden effusiveIy,
and then demanded 10 be told his name
and the causes that had taken him
across the water.
But Harden was ready for him. I
/ Rill tell you my business" he said slow
/ ly, though / assure you / let mighty
few know. j am he went on, i'm
pressiyley. "a mind-reader.'
The man laughed. mo-" he said
Yes" replied Harlem. severely. And
70 show you that ! am, ! viii tell
you now your name. and he looked
al him long and steadily Wlll-tell-
you" "iat-ls-yoG oGr-ol AesS-AeIe. ess.Sy--AIe. -
The man turned pale You're Jok-
ing" he sad.
Joking exclaimed Harden. in ap-
parent anger; and then, after long
! look into the depth OF the mans eyes,
lie told him his name
Your business, vent on Harlem,
dTeaTnily, bat never taking MS eyes
from the others lis To sell the English
rights Of some invention. II ts-it is
ahi- I have tilt is a wallpaper
hangeri'
The man gasped.
You tried 10 sell il in Liverpool, but
/ you didn't succeed. Harlem was going
on rapidly now. Iou came 90 London
/ with il, but yOu,I lose. sir, you loOsel'
The mans face was absolutely white
as he sank down. shaken. upon a chair
J Harlem. who is one of the kiudlesr
/ OF men. instantly regretted his joke. ami
! told the man frankly how be had hear (
Of him. Bat even that coUld not maL 2
the wall paper man entirely recover his
spirits, and he stiu eyed Harden with 4
look OF fear
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
.JAPS ARE WRONG,
SAYS MR.. TRIMBLE
Kentucky Congressman Discusses Cur-
rent Talk Of
War.

If the House gives consideration to
the Important measures that were left
on the calendar at the close Of the last
session il viii have all il can attend
To aside from passing The annual budg-
cts" said Representative South Trimble
of KentucAy at the Riggs House today.
There may be-" Le continued. "some
special legislation on the Panama Canal,
but that viii depend ON what the Presi
dent has 10 say in the special message
he is to send. concerning his trip 10
the isthmus. Extra session? Well. for
once the extra session talk has taken
q back seat Perhaps Wen hear the
sound of its voice later"
Representative Trimble said the talk
Of war with Japan did not worry him.
IF any American" he said goes 90
"A foreign country to reside for any
length Of time il is lis duty 10 abide
by that cOuntry's laws. And it would
not be the business of the United States
to interfere il Uncle Sam s citizens
should ind the laws iTksOme. But. y
American citizens are imposed ou ana
abused then thar would he a different
matter. When foreigners come 10 Amell-
can shores they should be satsne1 Willt
the laws here or leave. We do NOT
force anyone 20 come here 10 i've.
Should the citizens of a foreign country
be misused by citizens Of iRe Unitfd
States then there uIjsHt be some cause
for complaint. But that is another cues
ton
At the recent election Hon. South
Irimble was nominated IN the primaf-
les for lieutenant governor by "a ma
lOTity Of s6.o00. the largest majority
ever given any candidate for the Once
at a primary election. The nomination
Is as good as the election under the
present political conditions In the Blue
Grass State.
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
Spending the Money.

II is not apparent that the prob
lem Of getting rid of the money is
going to worry Congress. Folks who
are giving themselves concern on
that account are quite needlessly
looking for trouble.
1t is true the deficit has been
converted into a surplus, and that a
rudimentary surplus is fast develop
ing into a tumor on the body polite
and financial. There is strong dis
position to aggravate the situation
by leyying new taxes, not at all
needed for revenue purposes, on in
comes and inheritances, These
would add to the accumulation in
the Treasury. But the resourceful
and patriotic gentlemen who will
gather on Capitol Hill Monday, in
spired by noble devotion TO the
old flag-and an appropriation
can be relied upon to keep the sur
plus down 10 fighting weight.
There is the navy. 1t wants to
continue naval expansion on basis
which if adopted viii take a long
reef in the surplus. Its case is boil
stored by every "skeery" cable or
letter from Japan. Japan and San
Francisco indeed may he credited
with a meritorious work on behalf
OF reducing the surplus.
Then there is the river and harbor
movement. 1t wants something like
$4,000, 900. rather more if anything,
and it has to point TO the grave
necessities Of the national transpor-
tation system. 1t is urging that as
the lakes and seacoasts have had the
lions share Of money for years, the
great Mississippi system Of rivers
is entitled now to consideration;
and it is prepared to make a strong
case. That viii further diminish the
threat of a dangerous surplus.
And next year, when the public
building pork barrel is rolled from
House 10 Senate and back again, it
viii have 10 be fattened up to some
thing like the proportions of the
river and harbor measure. That
viii help. too.
It's mighty cheerful and good
natured sort of financial problem.
this of surplus. Congress is emil
nently equipped to deal with it;
far better than 10 handle a
deficit. Revise the tariff? No
hurry; all the revision that is like
ly to be secured for some years
would more likely reduce prohibitive
duties to the point of permitting
imports, and increase the revenues.
Congress will just have TO find ways
10 spend il. There's no escape.
Now watch Congress roll up its
sleeves and hurl itself into the
breach.
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
PiRCr Bets for GETAWAY D0Y

Seems 10 me-" said Philander Per
kins. as he stepped into Grocer Wiggins 3
store last night. with a surprised look,
and made for his accustomed seat be-
side the cracker barrel, seems To me
Ia keep nay store shet on "a Thanks
sivin Day
You're mighty good ali Of er suddin
Wiggin, 10 th cCmmuuity, an' 10 your
self, and Phliaucer hshed out hand
ful OF crackers.
What do you think of this here
Thankssiyin Day f0l-dc-TOl eunyWay?"
4ueried Wigslu, auEi9us:y, hoping 10
get Ihllduuer mind OF the crackers.
Well. ] think sew ral things about
a. and Phllandgr paused To finish IhC
cracker and brush the crumbs out OF
his Whiskers
In TN fust place. It's a mighty fire
Chanst fer III folks TO make h8gs out
II themselves. They kin be thankful
they live in q country where they kin
60 q now and then an still not go
bIQke- If we was like RODshrr we'd be
thankful for a hunk O. mulatt0 bread
an shred Of antequatcd frOzc-up Iiah.
TN. trouble So, though and Fh!ian-
der flsned up another handful Of crack
crs. THAT We amt thankful fer IN
things we'd orter he thankful fer We
amt thankful that We're Twin in er
fod-feariu land, whore turkey meat
kin be had by tn most of us almost
emmy time we banker fer IL.
No stree, We're thankful that were
betttrn our neighDGrs were thankful
That We're so blamed righteous. were
thankful that We're iuli-Lteurd aud
civilized am got tn ragiu' heather 10
make edr-llus fer. an ali that srur
Mighty sakes WIsgir. ef M most
Df us 'ud jest brace up an be thank
lul III good Lord hain'J seen ht 10 af-
fiI"t us with loc3motor attaNe- or "a
eIeht-pOuua wen, or free love views.
an also show Jl good Lord now thank
iul We be by jest digslu' su and Usin'
His golden rule mGruiu.. noon am night.
we'd hev reel Thmksgiviu' Day seven
DAYS "a week. ] d81't believe III good
Lord intended we should Make hogs OF
ourselves 1u this duy T."
Philander stopped. dropped his crack
Crs and rolled his eyes.
whats IN natter asked WigEiu-
Gimme "a bJtuI Of ELl- air jamaEeC
ginger tarnutiOu quick he Eroaged.
and. downing half abe contents al one
Eulu. he hurried ont into the night.
homeward bound.
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
SEES DANGER IN ANOTHER
TERM FOR Mr.. ROOSEVELT

Colonel Wattersou, editor of the
Louisville Courier-Jourual, is taking
this third-term talk 90 heart, and
issues this warning:
The election of Theodore Roosevelt in
1913 would proclaim 10 the world The
failure of Republican Government In
America. and would Br So accepted. Ia
would as surely Nexicanize oUr system
OF government as free silver ar the ratio
of rs TO ] would have MeAicauized OJH
money system. To propose il would be
20 invite 60 political revolution such as
that which broke up the Democratic
party in lst6 10 might not break up she
Republican party. but 10 would 50 divide
il as To procure its defeat
The CouricT-JuUTnHl has always held
Theodore Roosevelt 10 Doe Statesman
and Il politician of the very first order
OF originality. Sd-dC-Ly. and courage OF
has personal cleanliness It euteTt1Ins nO
doubt. But, In a democracy, just such
men become the most dangerous when
they let their ambition overleap their
scruples. We do not fear the millions
OF Hearst We do fear the genius OF
Roosevelt
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
THE AMERICAN CHAIR HABIT
CAUSE OF SPINE TROUBLES

They are trying 10 make us un-
comfortable again. DR. Covers.
one OF the leading authorities on
nervous diseases. asserts that sit
ting on chairs is responsible for
nearly all of our spinal troubles,
This causes the Providence Journal
to suggest;
There seems to be no good reason why
the chair habit should not be abandoned,
although there is no denying that u has
become a fixed habit Already consider
able has been DONE 10 discourage IT,
Look at the fashiOuably furnished par
lor, for instance 10 contains chairs, 10
ne sure but nobody, AT least. no man OF
average PROPORTIONS. has ever contract
ed spinal trouble or sclauca by disposihh
himself I'm the spindle-legged. hand
Dainted. damask-coVered things II ne
attempts 10 use them as chairs, instead
OF regarding them adnliringly as brlc-a-
brac his wife Shoes him out of the
room and if she doesn't shoe him out
Of the room they let him down 10 the
floor with crash that scares him out
or three years natural grown Anu
inasmuch as this same man. LETT TO MS
own devices. is accustomed 10 sit on MS
back In a padded chair. il is possible
that this warning is not meant Tor him.
If il is he will have an excuse Tor re
naming in bed that has not occurred 10
him before, and should be grateful ac-
cordine-Iy. Remove chairs from CultiVd-
lion and some men would never get up.
However. on general principles, there
is much to be said against sitting II
is expensive, particularly in theateTa
and nj the ringside; In many households
adorned with attractive daughters II
keeps the gas burning long after hours.
even If il Is turned low, and IT aids and
abets gossip, frivolous conversations.
and lectures, addresses, and concerts
which are unIntelIigible II may be that
the world would be better, brighter, hap
pier. and more active If il afford stand
ing room only.
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
AMERICAN PEOPLE FORCED
TO TAKE INTEREST IN THINGS

The indiyidUdl may select his fad,
his hobby or his line of special
work, but the nation has its prob
lens forced upon it. The New York
Mail illustrates:
The country had to work It's way out
of au ugly Industrial panic. and smite
tls financial deIusioI that came iu the
wake of that panic. Then the Cuban
revolution and the blowing up of the
Maine forced il TO suppress the nuisance
al its doors and acquire dominion ia
the Caribbean and the Pacific After
that there sharply arose the necessity
of repTsssiug Ihe oyerWeeuiug power Of
railroad and Industrial combinations
Then Llg corruption az politics and its
SOrdTd alliance with business evoked a
year of n1-HItlrEr with muck Ttk-ug
as It's inevitable geGmu-iSnMeut. Again
"a wave OF haIe-HTallea TatlnIlism arose
u the wake Df intelligent reform. II
has just been beaten back. and now 1t
new factor appears IU The Pacific coast
IA manifestation of race prejudice
against uu Oriental nation with which
this country must have much 10 do i'm
the Cummtrra and politics off Ihe Pacific.
g. strong proud nation, flushed with a
great victory. alert To- resent disCTimi-
nation and INSULT Thus. without warn
lI one door or another The American
people have had lt Uut uV 10 them in
the last decade TO make sudden impor-
taut and irT-yocabl- decisions ON mat
and external policy I-e} have uuL been
able 20 TicE their battle-ground Their
strategy has been only that OF tho
good officer VINO approaches battle with
ont orders from his commander. hut
marches toward the sound Of the
enemy
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
The Author Of "The Squaw Man"

Julie OPP Faversham, the author of
THE SQuaw-Man," which the Harpers
are To publish early in December, began
her career as Kew York newspaper
woman. She has also written several
oue-aCt plays, and number Of short
.turles. and her style is clear and vigor-
Gus. She has lived a great deal in Eng
land. and she and her husband, William
Faversham. spend their summers I'm a
charming manor house at ChiddingfoId.
IN Surrey.
The novel is written from Royle's play
of the same name, which, with Mr.. Fa-
versham in the principal role. scored
such~-a great popular success in New
York last winter. and which is this sea
son to appear in the principal cities OF
the country.
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
IN THE BOOK WORLD
Three Plays fo: EPaTiitans".

Il claim as notable merit IN the
authorship Of this play thar I have
been intelligent enough 10 steal its seen
cry. its surroundings. its atmosphere. its
geography, it's knowledge OF the East.
its fascinating Cadls and Krooboys and
Sheikhs and mud castles from an ex-
cellent book Of philosophic travel and
varied adventure entitled Mogreb-el-
Acksa" Morocco the Most HOlvB. by
! Cunningham Graham. Cunning
ham Graham is the hero OF his own
book; but I have not made him the
/ hero Of my play. because so incredible a
parsonage must have destroyed It's like
lhosd-such as il Is"
These words. written by o B. s. him
self. are sufficiently key 10 the Three
Plays for Puritans," by George Bernard
Shaw, just published by Breutano's.
They-"The Devils Disciple" Caesar
ana Cleopatra" and Captain Brass
bound S Conversion" the notes given
being explanatory Of the iast-named-
abound in audacity, surprise, and wit.
Z They are fairly good acting plays. They
are excellent reading-IOT adults. Al
together, II you count in the three short
bar-s with which the plays are intro
duced. they constitute a book Of very
acceptable caviarre for the knowing,
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
The Glamour of Official Title.

II used 10 amuse Sir Walter scott
hugely that his ueighbors thought far
more OF him as the sheriff (Which office
he long heidi than as the authcr Of the
WaverIey novels. In The same way
way Thomas Hardy finds that his
neighbOrs think far more of him as "a
Justice OF the peace and a landhOldeT
than as the author of Tess of the
D.I-rnarNifles. -
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
FIRST WORDS OF GREAT MEN.
COZY CORNER CON.

conducted by Aunt Dotty-l
Dear Aunt DOtty-I have very red
cheeks and am proud of them. but a
girl l thought was my friend told me
red cheeks were nothing 90 be proud Of
Now viii you please tell me what red
cheeks indicate? ROSIE.
Red cheeks indicate color in the face.
Yes. Cordelia. II IL is rot too much
trouble you should wash both hands
every day.
Mrs. Flavour wants to know how to
make good lemon extract This is
my recipe:
Get some one to hand YOU a lemon.
crate the Hearst tin, on the outside OF
the rind and use 10 sprinkle over sar-
dine salad Extract the juice for lemon
ade and send out 10 your grocer for a
bottle OF the extract. This gives more
satisfaction than any other recipe
known FOR homemade extracts.
Dear Aunt Dotty-I read that pony
coats are the proper thing FOR fall wear
kindly tell me how they are made.
MISS FITTE.
A pony coat is made Of any good ma
terial, lined with horsehair cloth and
gallOped around the edges. The buttons
should be of the CdrIWheel variety. the
seams whipped and the trimming check
ed. Pony coats are expected TO have
quite run.
Dolores writes me a most PitiIul let
ter. In which she declares she loves ii
young man devotedly, but can not make
him love her I'm return. She admits that
she Is not beduty' ana ASKS almost
tearfully, How can 1 make him love
me Aunt Dotty?"
Nothing more simple, dear Dolores;
get "A million dollars.
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
The Author Of aFighting the Polar Ice.'

Lieutenant Pearys polar achievement
gives peculiar interest and timeliness to
Anthony Fiala s book. Fighting the
Polar Ice" just published by Double
day. Page a. Co Until PeaFy's latest
feat. Fiala held the record for Ameri-
cans, having gone TO - degrees.
Fiala is perhaps the youngest of al
The daring men who have made the
.tlack on the pole He is thirty-fve
Years OLD, and was born near Jersey
CITY When the Spanish war broke out
he went 20 Porto Rico with Troop c
of Brooklyn and saw active service. He
was second In command of the ZiegIer-
Baldwin Polar trip
The young mans work on this ex-
pediUon so appealed % William Ziegler
Tho patron. that in 1853 ne placed Fiala
tneu barely tnirty-tWO years old. in
command Of the now famous eXpedi-
tlo1, whose story is told in Fighting
tle Polar lee. He is the only person
% secure moving Arctic PICTURES.
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
A Warning by Wire.

While Wilbur NesbiU was finishing
his humorous novel. .'The Gentleman
kagmans he was spending a few
weeks ia "A country town in Indiana.
Tie had sent nearly all + the revised
manuscript 20 his publishers, but Ger
tain details OF the completion Of the
plot had been the subject Of discussion
between himself and a friend connected
WIth The publishing house
One day telegram for Nesblt vas
received at the village telegraph office.
II read
what are yoI going 10 do about
Anne rs and Plukuey Sanger
Annie IS the heroine Of THE Gentle
man Eagmau.' IIukuey is the william
81 there is one IN the book. The local
telegya pH operator personally delivered
Jte message, ana NesbIt wrote this re-
PLY
"WII marry Annie Davis and shoot
IinkEey Sanger as soon as ! return 70
ChicaE2" "
The operator stared at Sesbit wonder
mely when be read the message, but
Neshlt did not fatEom that stare until
the morning when nG took the train
home. when the village marshal stepped
up To- him and said. meaninEly-
Mr. Nesbit ] would advise YOU, as
an officer or the 'aW. sir. not 20 do any
thing rash when you get u Chicago"
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
A NEAR-FABLE.

There was once a man who married
an attractive girl. but after "a while her
HttTaCtivcuess ceased through her own
carcl -ssurss while her husband ac-
quired the habit Of visiting the saloons.
while h- spent lis spare time and
spare change Instead Of attempting
q regain her attTactiyeness she became
more uubearable than ever, while he
continued TO increase his drink habit
M0Tll-lf man cannot get few
for them
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
JAlLBREAKERS' LEADER
ARRESTED IN NEW JERSEY

PATERSON, n. J., Dec. ALEXANDER
TempletOn. a Paterson man who led the
hand OF ten men who broke out of
Queens county jail. Long Island, early
yesterday morning. was arrested in
this city t0day.
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
SAMPLES OF THE HASH.

A theatrical manager is known by the
company he keeps.
The marriage question Is becoming a
choice between breach OF promise and
alimouy-
tButcutmeut is something we real
@bout-and that's all
After all. il isn't so much what the
world thinks about us as what il know
about as.
Platonic friendship Is Cupid's best
friend.
Trouble with the stork is. he always
brings a long bill
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
TOSSED TO PAVEMENT
BY SPEEDING AUTO

Silas II. Sherwood, siNty-siX years old,
living at 1lOS Sixth street, southwest,
was run into and thrown to the pave
ment at PENNSYLVANIA avenue and John
Marshall place northwest. last night
by an automobile owned by James W.
Gladdi of 120 + street southeast He
was taken TO the Emergency Hospital.
where il was stated this morning that
his injuries were not serious
The Washington times., 1906-12-01
LAST OF H'CURDYS
QUITS MUTUAL LIFE

NEW YORK. Dec. I.-Peter Stuyve-
SAINT Pilot an inspector Of risks Of the
Mutual Life Insurance Company. re-
signed yesterday. and mis- departure
marks the last Of the McCurdy family
i'm the Mutual He was a cousin of
Louis A. Ihebaud, sOn-in-law of Rich
ard A. McCuTdy. His salary was SIO.-
Geo a year.
At the office of the company no rea-
son for his resignation could be OBJ
tained.