davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29

stop. look ana listen I have been
t" the Pure Food SHOW. | have been
to the place where yrlihful iniquity is
exposed. | have become wise. | have
had my eyes opened and my teeth cut
have learned that we haven't a thing
in this house that is safe to cat.
have learned that every edible on the
market is adultrraicd with poisonous
ingredients. | have learned that no
man should sit down to Il meal without
having list of antidOtcS on the table
and an undertHkerS coupe backed up to
the front door! DO you know. Mrs.
Jones. that flour Is adultprated with
wheat: DO you know that saucr kraut
is adultcrated with cabbage? DO you
know that there is common. everyday
oil in Kerosene and gas in the coal we
buy: or course. you don't. madame.
or course. you don't. You don't know
anything. That's why I brought these
dogs home. II is ny intention to show
YOU sr effects of The dcletcriouS in
.rcdicnis in the foodstuiTs OH
Ma. sar,aStically. "Weil. i"
Don't butt in. darling. Don't butt
in" said Ia. severely. as he lined up
the dogs. 'bon'i spoil Il good thing
when am trying to save your life :!
Nou are Just like all the other women
You think that everything is ali right :.
You take too much for granted because
Won get trading stamps with il, Now
thea. | want You to closely watch the
experiments that | make and be con-
your mistress ordered for dinner. That
meat. madame. has more poison in it
than Il suicide who has swallowed a
quart of carbolic acid. 1t is not fit
for dog to cat. but must give il to
Eennie that human beings may live
ai the awful cost Of martyred pups
Come Bcnnic, Come good doggic. Eat
this beef and-Ah. see how he gobbles
it down. See how the poison makes his
roor eyes sparkle! See how thin he is
getting already. See how he smacks
his chops as You or | would have done,
that he is taking Next. | will give a
loaf of this death-dealing bread TO
Prince. and This diaholcal cake to Gyp
They weigh rs much rs any other dog
| now. hut in Il few
lien Jones'" cried Ma. with lool,
| of great concern u
BE easy. madame. Re easy en-
! joined Pa. throwing more grub and still
more grub to- the appreciative dogs.
Put kedge anchor on your gable
trap. and feel glad that you are saved
| If hadn't dropped in to see that Pure
Food Show you would have been re-
duced to living skeleton. and eventual
! ly 81 dead one. If | hadn't gone In
there and got wise your dear mother
would have, been compelled to tie a
clothes line around her to keep her
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29
HE IS THE TAlLEST SOLDIER.
Lieutenant In kniser's BOdyEuard Is
Over Seven Feet Tall.

Lieutenant In kntser's BOdyEuard IL
Over seven Feet Tall.
Undoubtedly the tallcst soldier in the
world Is Josef Handel. who has recent
ly been made lieutenant in the Kai-
ser's famous hodyguard. During the
past year and before he became SOL
dier he was exhibited under the simple
Panopjtikon and other places Of inter
est in the large cities of Germany as
the tallest youth on earth. Il distinction
to which he is easily entitled, says the
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Handel is not 22 years old, yet he
stands ! feet s inches In his stockings.
Though he was earning a big salary he
did not hesitate n moment when the
Kaiser called him TO his bOdyguard in
Potsdam. lie would never have been
given the honor il the Kaiser's physi-
clans had not pronounced him perfect
~ proporti0ned physically and Of sound
health. A remarkable fact is that Han
del's parents. who live in Leipzig. are
people of ordinary size, as are also his
brothers and sisters, of whom there
are seven. Handel makes n pictur
esque figure in his guard uniform and
the high helmet makes him look a VERT
table Goliath. Frederick the Great
would have given his best pipe to have
added such a giant to his guard of tall
soldiers.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29

We come upon the auto standing
upon the brow of the hill.
"Hello." he says to the chauffeur.
Broken down"
no, sir he responds
"Out OF gasoline:'
"No. sir. We have plenty"
Tire punctrred:"
mo. sir. The tires are in perfect
condition.
Lost your way
"No, sir. The country hcrcabouts is
very familiar"
dropped something from the auto:'
mo, sir. Nothing OF the sort
"rhen why are you standing here :
Why are You not shooting down the
hill and across the level at terrific
speed:'
Il do not care to do that" says the
owner of the machine. who has been
silent until this moment. II had my
auto stopped here So that | might enjoy
the magnificent view from his elcva
ton"
With frightened glance at him. we
turn and hasten TO the nearest town, to
warn the officials that an evidently in
sane person is at large in an autono
bile.--KanSas City Independent.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29
KNOW THE HORSES YOU Buy.


Points One should Notice when Sc
Letting an Animal AOr Puvehasr.
Never have horse brought out or
, up or down to you. but go 10 hts stall
and investigate for yourself certain de-
tails which, once you know them, re-
quire no special acumen 10 arridc
upon or to be aware Of says the
Rochester Herald. For instance, is
there grain in the manger and the
hour of feeding some time Islsts lie
may be bad feeder, nervous, dclk,atr.
Is the straw under his fore feet Mus
ually trainpled or broken?
He may be one of these irrhah bic.
nervous "weavers" (horses which con
stantly sway from side TO Sitle), VII"
are generally also bad feeders and poor
property. Are the stall posts or sdties
battered or kicked? He my ~ a
kicker (by day or night, spelling his
own rest and that Of other Asrscs).
Does he tear or eat his blanhe1s? Is
he tied in any special way or simply
and as other horses are? Is lie gentle
TO approach and to handle--llO nipping.
kicking or pulling back Oh the hal
ter?
Does he stand square on hHth forr
feet or rest one or both alternately:
Does he back quietly from The stall.
picking up each hind leg without sud
den spasmodic jerking? And when he
turns in the gangway Goes no do SO
smoothly or does he finch I'm fvontD
as if the boards were not even or his
feet hurt him more or less. Are his
eyes staring and expressionlesI his
ears always Observation-Disclosures OF
defective vision.
Once out of the stall notice that he
submits quietly to being wiped over
and hetrayS no resentment while har-
Messing at accepting the bit, bridlc.
cruppcr etc. etc. decOrOusiy permit
ting all necessary alterations and at
tentions. Accept no departure from nh.
solutc docility of department for he
sure that If the animal bctrays either
eXcitabilty, nervousness Ov vEc IN the
dealers hands he will ~ far worse
with you. for you know you tl0R't know
and he will know you don't know
and those combinations K,,en Trouble
In the same way see him IGfl out and
put to the vehicle to which ne \ to be
driven, noting each Stage Of the
process. viewing him always with the
Jelly critical eye of the Individual who
does not (yci) own him. Excuse moth.
ing and make no allowances Tor less.
If he makes Il move You siOn't fancy
say so frankly and look FARTHER there
are plenty of horses.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29
fHgl''s;lR1n3NXyys5


Fur mercy's sake. len jones was
the yclpful exclamation of the excited
Ma. as the lord and master of the
Jones Family entered the happy home.
proudly leading u striug nf hungry
looking t>iO0dlcs that had seen better
'ioS day. some time in the distant past.
Whit in the world are you going to
Il" with those bcaStly boy vows: What
40 you mean by turning This house into
II receiving ward Tor sausage fo,Iu-
dry? How dare you tncnnce our lives
with such miserable ours? Take them
away at once! Threw them into thc
street this Instant! DO yon think that
want poor, dear little t'ido assaS>innt-
ed? do you think TINT
BE calm. madamc. I;c calm" inter
rUpted Pa, with n ma l"stic look Mt Ma.
Don't get hystcricai, Don't yet agi-
tated There is no occasion to twist
that Smith face Of yours int" Gaintrul
"ontortions! 1 brought these dogs here
E" demonstrate To you that "
What are you talking ahout. Won
squcalful old ape" WAS the petulant
TcJoindcr &C Ma. What fool trick are
you up to now? What --"
What am tn,hirg about n,adainr?"
Whit am talking about. Mrs Jones'"
cried Ia. turning on n few extra bounds
Of oratoricai stcaui. "What DO yol SUP
Jose | am talking about: DO you think
that I am chuckins the HARMON Into
~.
inoinrnt that | ana gushing gossip ut n
time when the welfare of my beloved
family bangs in the halancc. MOI o,
Your life. sweetheart, Not on yo,,r
life, nm trying to tell YOU that we
all are dying by inches. am trying
10 tell you that We are being SLOWLY
hat surely poisoned by avaricoly vii.
lains Of the deepest dye. | am on
deavoriu2 to Impress on you the fact
that notwithstanding the additional fat
that anu taking on every day. | am
getting thinner every minute. | am
"ndcaNoring to impress on you the fact
that notwithstanding our healthy ap-
learance We arc sick enough to start
Il ten story hospital! am
What ails you, teathen:" broke in
Ma. with quizzicai glance Mt the one
whom she had promised the prea cher
10 love forever and to opcy sometimes.
Who threw the brick that turned your
brain? How long have you acted that
way? VINO ever told you that vol,
were Il sick,y INVALID who cver---''
Pause. woman. Pausc." exclaimed
The serious Pa, in Il commanding voice
Pause in your .arrulous harrangue
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29

bones from rattling! Norah. bring out
some scrapple for Doggy Belle. You
may also bring some sausage for
Maude. while give Gyp Il swig OF this
patent ketcllup and Prince some pre-
served peaches! Scrapplc. Mrs. Jones,
is adultcrated with pork and Indian
meal, and-Ah. madame! Just notice
the piteous look Of Bonnie! He is beg
ging me to desist. he don't want to
die. even on the sacrifcal altar OF
science. lie
"Yon simple yap! You crazy luna
tic." shouted the indignant Ma. who at
last managed to make herself heard.
"Ilnvcn't YOU got any sense? Don't you
know when you are twisted: Don't you
know that you are giving those ugly
BEASTS n real June picnic? Don't you
know that you are not poisoning them
little bit: don't wonder that they
look at YOU and smack their chops!
don't wonder they grin at each other.
ana think that you are the softcst thing
this side of sweet sixteen. Don't you
know that that food isn't adultcratcd:
Don't you KNOW
"What'S that. madame: What's that
precious pet:' WAS the r0arful inter
lection of the panied IA. What are
you talking about. What are you try
ing to cackle? Don't you suppose thar
| know adUlieratcu grub wien | see
IL: Don't You suppose that | IAN tell
the difference between Il deli. 'ilc diet
| and death warrant? If yoH lad gone
| to the Food Show YOU woIlN We
Il did 20 TO the Food Sow. you
cgotstical old dub - returned Ma. yelp-
| fully. Il didn't miss n session for
two days. ! got n complete list Of all
| the adulicratcd food ON the market.
and when ! came home | threw away
everything in the house and laid in Il
new stock. which you in your ofIiclous
foolishncss have fed to those voracious
! lycnaS -
| The next instant the battle OF the
Jones Family was in full swing, and
as soon rs the door was opened the
thankful CANNES hastcfully hustled
into the street with II pleased express
sion on their doggy faces.-Philadel-
phia Telegraph.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29
why We Say "Hello."

Long. long ago wolves were numer-
Gus in all parts of the world, especially
in England. Wolf hunting was a favor
ite sport with the gentry, and to kill
wolves was regarded as the sacred
duty Of all Englishmen. In fact, an old
law reads: "All barons must hunt and
chase wolf four times n year"
French was the language OF the court
at that time, 80 the burly old English
hunters used the cry OF the French
wolf hunters. which was "Au loup. An
loup." ("To the wolf.") These words.
heard at distance, sounded like "a
loo" but the English. who always put
an II on wherever they possibly can.
put it on the words "A loo and when
wolf hunting shouted 'Ha-loo." This
form we use when we call Hello" as
no word has been found that carries so
far or so we'll as hello. For this rea-
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29
/ ~ @EDIToRlAlS,$s2S !
: Opinions Of Great Papers on important Subjects. !
IT
Opinions of Great Papers on important Su

digging the grave herself. She had money to pay
the "rlley would have buried her for me for
nothing if had let them put her over there in the
poers field. But she such little child. so little,
and sometimes when obliged to leave her alone she
afraid OF the dark. l wanted nor to lie by her
fathers side she would not be afraid. told the
poor commissioner how felt and he this COT
fin The woman who lives next door from me is coming
out next Sunday TO plant some vines.
And the agonized mother talked half Wild with
her grief and knowing what she said, calling
enicrly the of husband. now OF child.
The had a heart. He hurried to the sexton and
gave him money to dig the childs and money TO
round the little mound and plant simple flowers.
And the cried, but this time the tears sweet
instead OF bitter.
This story is not from the pages of Bnlzac. Neither
is it IA fancy sketch 1t is printed in reliable
paper which gives full particulars concerning the WON
ans home and history There thousands OF stories
sad us hers.
Compare your disapontments and troubles and
and heartaches with those of this miserable
Are not ashamed of fault findings and bitter
and hatred of condltions.-Buffalo Times.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29

touching passage in tic life history of poor Milwaukee
Mrs. Mary Wetg. widow lost her only child little
girl She had noiey 10 give the child decent sep
uclr,. She went 10 The poor commissioner. And this
the sequel: Ars. Witig staggered M The path in
the cemetery wic', led 10 the o, Of ground where her
husband buried bearing the little coffin Which held
body of her lttlc She took spade she had
put there the day before, and began dig Poor WON
Nh she digging the grave OF her only child the
last sweet tie that had held her 10 earth. And she
worked she soi,!cd and cried. She called the dead
n,,n under the ground to help her bear her till
she could to him
who passed through the cemetery heard the
crying and to the spot where the frnil
bent IL her awful task She explained why she
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29

Freddy lived in boarding house
near where they had been eXcavating
for the subway. One day when he saw
his mother struggling with a particular
" tough steak the boardcrs were con
yulsed to hear him pipe up:
Mamma. why don't yo, blast it,
New York Press.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29

An absent minded woman ono Sunday
morning walked into church. nook a
front seat, and joined in the service
vigorously. Then the collection basket
was passed to her. ami putting a coin
In it, she looked about. She east chances
in every direction, her mind cleared,
and an expression OF amHZement over
spread her face. She got up. She hur-
ried down the aisle She overlook the
man with the collection basket I'm
In the wrong church." she whispered,
and, taking out the coin she had put in,
she hurried forth
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29

Wouldn't insurance against mother.
in-law go like wildlire:
When you tell girl she is pretty
il is n sign she will think she is prct-
tier than she is.
woman has an idea that making
money is something like making pop
overs and angel cake.-New York
Press.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29
Fresh Nerkticx for Boys.

Don't put up with shabby ties. boys.
You are never too young to think bit
about your looks. and though most
folks detest the hoy whose heart Is In
his clothes instead of the place it ought
to be. it's worth money and a reputa-
ton to keep clean and neat. When a
tie gets shabby throw il in the waste
basket and begin on another.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29
The nrenchablc Coin.

Place II boy with his back against the
wall his heels standing firmly against
It, Lay half dollar on the floor In
front Of him. about n foot distant from
his toes, and tell him IL is his If he
can pick 1t up without moving his heels
from against the wall. In vain will
he try to get the coin under the cOndi
tons prescribed.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29

Psmith You can't eat your cake and
have it. too. You know.
Kjones-The dickens | can't. You
ought to try some Of my wife's cake
you can cat ii and it'll stay with you
for four days Cleveland Leader.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29

Stage Manager carrot haired,
''supe" Is perfect pumpkin head.
Low Comcdlan-Ycs, he's a yegeta-
bic supe.-Clevcland Leader.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29

What has become of the old-fash-
toned woman who tried to prove that
there was use for everything IS
boiling the cranberry inside of pud
dinE5
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29
WHEN YOU ARE BLUE.

GREAT many persons have the blues They
imagine that they are having hard time
ia lie and ihnt their SORROWS reach the
limit. They are wrong IL you have such
feelings you should compare your condition
with that Of someone else who is pulling
hard against the stream OF life. Read q
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29

drawn from bond compared with the previous year Of
7O4OiO gallons No Will say that there Inns been
a in population during that period The same
figures show Il corresponding gain in the consumption OF
the increase being 1.o11.lO1 barrels The reveM
these figures furnish is that people drinking less
spirits containing 30 cent of alcohol or aud more
beer conta lining per cent less Of alcohol.
does not have 10 seek far to find at least
cause this change The existing industrial conditions
enforce sobriey. When the population of the country
sparse and mostly composed OF farmers the drunk
cI,ess did not enlanger the lives of many. But
with the concentration of the great manufacturing in
drstres of the country in mammoth structures. employ
I'M. thousands of worklnen and filled with costly
clinery, much is at stake to permit machinery
motive power TO be handled by those whose
wits have been bcfuldled with drink. The
of the than million employed steam
and electric railway lines Thus it has to pass
that sobrety has been enforced by incxorabe de.
mand.
While ii Is not TO be expected that drunkenness will
entirely abolished the tendency is clearly toward its
decline we'll towards the substitution of the lighter
less Intoxicating beverages for those of stronger
and more dangerous Philadelphia Bulletin.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29
THE INCURABLE.'


~ \ lawyers solemnly condemn the bill before
1 ~ the Ohio Legislature for ts,c painless death
R-RGfN of incurabcs
uvSHMEM The mild unsccnfc does not sound
SO loud hut il carries further
Ir the killing Of pa.ients afflicted with "incurable
diseases had been considered the only of relief in
the rost who world have been moved to devote days
aud years and lifetime to the study of curing:
Many diseases which long semed in'urable are now
successfully treated FOR countless centuries. the plague
the s,nnllpox rabies tut cruoss and swift subtle dipi
theriu carried with them the sentence of DEATH but
men sought patiently and crsistcny for effective ways
to fight dreadful foes "f humanity. sacrificing
their lives in unsc. zeal: and result we have vac
clnation nocultiou and aniitoxin and millions once
deemed incurablc saved.
within the memory OF Old Physicians the preparations
for a surgical oTera alarmingy simple; enough
carboc acid to nearly stiic the operators thrown
about the operating and that all Only To
10 per cent of the eases recovered. But now. from
hospital OF high standing. where the operating room is
surglcaly clean the report of 100 consccl
fui.
Suffering struggle against death have sllrred
TO accomplish these things. Must they suddenly be
called to halt. 10 strive to accept defeat?
Must they their and give death instead of
lie: killing is incentive To curing Slipping off bur
icns strengthened shoulders. Giving up problems
Developed minds Kansas City World.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29
@&2&ae. Hzz aa',&S2& ]T(2&z&D

phone companies the world over
Washington Star.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29
Examples in Roman ANNEXATION.

Examples In Roman NWMerHtfOn.
Prefix 800 to greasy and make n
small napkin.
Prefix 1000 to the first man and
make woman.
Prefix 80 to the handiwork Of Noah
aud make bird OF which poets love
to write.
Prefix ) to chills and fever and make
indefinite
Prefix 100 to 4 kind of monkey and
get woman's garment.
Answers-D-O oily, madam. Lark.
vague cane.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29

One day little Tom played with his
ball in the parlor while his mother was
out. aud he broke II pretty vase. When
his mother came home she asked Tom
how he came to break the vase. Tom
explained to her exactly how he had
broken it and said that he was very
sorry. His mother said that she would
forgive him this time. and he promised
that he would not disobey her again.
The next day Tom. who had been
thinking all the day before how TO re-
place the vase. thought OF plan. lie
r,it on his hat and coat and started to
the grocery shop.
Want boy to work for YOU" he
>aid
YES" replied Mr.. Martin. II was
lust going to advertise for one
"All right" said Tom. "I'll start In
right now" and in fortnight Tom
had earned enough money to buy n
vase exactly like the one he had brok-
Brooklyn Eagle.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-03-29
TEMPERANCE INCREASING.

spite Of the asseveratons of the total ab
stainers to the contrary, statistics prove that
the whisky drinking habit in this country is
on the decline The preliminary report of
the Commissioner of Internal Revenue for
the fiscal year. which closed June so, shows
n GncrnaS, in the amount of whisky with.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-12-19

cation, and the excellence of the pres
ent administra ton. There is a a rec
ommendation that the Porto Rican regl-
ment be continued, and comment on
the general prosperity of the island.
The reference to the issue which most
directly concerns the Porto Ricans is
brief and somewhat incidental. This
expresses the hope that some measure
viii be taken for the benefit of the ex
cellent and high grade Porto Rican
coffee" The people of the island want
protection for their berry by a tariff
on all the coffee imported into the
United States. Mr.. Roosevelt approves
the coffee, but does not specifically ap-
prove the Porto Rican plan for the pro-
motion Of the insular coffee industry
We imported last year 850,00o,000
pounds OF coffee. The Porto Ricans ask
that we protect their crop, which in
its record year reached 60,0OO,o0O
pounds, BY imposing a duty of five
cents pound on our entire importa
ton. The method is costly and the
scheme unreasonable.
The proposition for American citizen
ship is not new A bill to that effect
was hung up during the last session Of
congress. 1t should be considered and
passed during the next session. Our
acquisition of the island left its people
citizens of no country at all. and they
cannot even become American citizens
by naturalization. This is a situation
which should be promptly remedied
The recommendation that Porto Rican
affairs be placed in the hands Of some
department in Washington is entirely
sound The Island Is now political
derelict. 1t should find Judgment some
where.-New York sun.