Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1906-03-21

Bell Buoy saloon by walking without
the slightest deviation, a straight
line made on the floor with chalk
from the billiard table. He had taken
three steps, each one fairly upon the
line, to the intense amusement OF
spectators, and was preparing for the
fourth by standing on his left foot
while his body waved like pennant
in the breeze and his right uncer
tainly described a number of geomet
rical figures, as Mr.. Bowden,
A. g.. entered the door whirling
like a dancing dervish with a
scared face and the rush Of a shin
being launched Unfortunately Mr.
Bowdens lookout failed To inform
him if the bo'sun's presence
ahead, or else his steering gear fallen
him If the bO'sun's presence was
and ran the bosun down.
The shock Of the collision only seu'
a shiver through Mr.. BoWden's frame.
doing so little damage that the next
second he was able to resume his voy
age toward the bar, where he contlt-
ued his revolutions. ceasing only long
enough TO seize an allowance OF gTos
With the bo'sun things were not s.
fortunate, however The impact found
him in a posture which would have
been difficult for even an athlete to
assume. and the force of it since he
wa not plumb with his center OF gray
ity, sent him flying in the air where
ne executed two really remarkable
somersets, finally sinking gracefully TO
the floor upon his head. Oddly
enough, the triumph OF this achieve
ment, which many OF the onlookers
declared was the most remarkable
they mad ever seed, did not please
the bo'sun, who remained fiat on mis-
back. and after a careful inquiry into
Mr.. BOwden's ancestors, careIuly
tracing them from the moment 81
their boarding the Ark, and showing
that each successive generation had
been more lax In their morals and
uglier to the eyes than the one pre-
ceding it, made a heartfelt appeal to
the old tars present to assist him 10
an upright position. that he might
kill the last of the race of 30 Ydens
At any other time such challenge
would have been received by the lat
ter with alacrity-almost thanksgiv.
ing. Now, to the amusement OF
all, he turned even paler than before
and hung out 4 flag of truce
Don't help him, boys he eX-
81, L.,
won't fight him.
Why not, you bloomin' pc
returned the irate bo sun. DO you
think you are g2in' to come in herr
imitatin' blarsted propeller an
forcin' honest sailOrmen to turn turtle
durin their hours OF amusement .
You swipe, why won't you fght2
Why not, say YOU replied Mr.
Bowden. why not? Because I'm
hoodo2ed. That's why, says /"
Wor" exclaimed the bosom while
thrill of superstitious awe went
about the room "Wot,'
Yes" went on Mr. Bowden. now
far more at home, since ii was eei-
dent that he had caused a sensation;
yes, I'm hoodooed; an wot is more.
I'm hoAdooed two ways to oncet.
which means somethin' very alarmin'
is gOin' to happen to me- Mebbe I'm
goin 10 get married gin, or mebbe
I'm goin' to meet some O my wives
| amt very pelticklar about meetin.
or mebbe | must give up Ticker
This is the way it happens. / were
down on the Battery. sailin' along to
get a smack . salt air, an when
out o my course | runs into a fema e
pusson OF about forty tons burden,
with red hair-rather thin built she
is but overloaded with ballast an
enable to rest light on the surface.
We'll, before can come about an
present my compliments she send
me broadside
Where are you a-sailng to, you
loafer?' says she, for all the world rs
though we were married to each other
for two years Or more, Why don t
you watch where you're a-gOin. yop
clumsy swat?' says she.
Naturally such talk cheered me NJ
considerable an I were about to ans
wer her very p'lite an aff'ble 0g
a-calling her a old ramshackIe canal
boat when | looks her over agin an
wot do you reckon? She was cross.
eyed, her starboard eye bein' liste
permanent to port. while her port eve
sails about shiftleswise. like a dere
lick Red headed and cr1ss-avpdf
That is what | had come up alongside
o. In course, right there knew |
We're hoodooeJ cause once afore [
had run uO against a party 50 rugged.
an wot happened was awful
That was WHOM ! shipped on the
bark Ceylon. from Frisco TO the
Ch'ncha islands an return Jnst
afore we sets sail the master ships a
missionary wot We're agoin' out to
show the heather the error o bis
ways, takin' with him for that purpose
lot O tin horns some fancy colorad
cloth an lot O. rattles, rubber rings
ar silk hats it bein the nacher O. the,
heather to be most frivilous regardin
religion an only bein' converted by
pecoolure methods. Well. this here.
missionary are red headed an his
eyes is not mates None o the crew
likes this very much. but we has sot
sail an they We're no chances to de