davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22

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Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22
Nav Interurban to be Built.

Keokuk.--Backed by one of the big
gest interurban syndicates in the
country a party Of six St. Louis men
representing st. Louis capital have
been working between here and Bur-
lington the past few days feeling the
pulse Of the farmers with a view Of
building an electric line between the
two cities. If seventy per cent Of the
property owners along the proposed
route favor the scheme charter will
be applied for. The road viii then be
started in the fall.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22
RoosTEh's SCRATCH IS FATAL
erundy County Pioneer is Victim Of
Flood Poisoning.

Ackley.-Christian Becker, for so
years a resilient Of Grundy county, is
dead from flood poisoning growing
out of wound inflicted by rooster.
Mr.. Becker had gone to the barn yard
to catch fowl and in doing so re-
ceiyed a scratch in the palm of the
hand from tae ROSTERS spurs. Little
was thought of the scratch and 1t
was poulticed, but the hand and fore.
arm continued to swell. A physician
was called but the poison had per-
sneated the system and no hopes were
offered for the mans recovery and he
died four days after the scratch was
inflicted. Mr.. Becker was one Of the
pioneers of Grundy county, having
lived there fifty-one years and on the
same farm that he secured from tne
government. He was IS years old.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22
Chess Champion Dies

Philadelphia. = Harry Nelson pills.
bury, the chess master. died here
Sunday, Of apoplexy, after an illness OF
many months. Pillsbury was born De-
cember S. 1872, at Somerville, Mass,
where the body will be taken, the fu.
neral to be held there next Tuesday.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22

An Oklahoma historian raises the
question whether men OF the European
race saw that country before John
Smith landed at jamestown. Doubtless
they did not, since De Soto did not
20 so far west and Coranado hardly,
70 far east. But the white man has
been making up for lost time by get,
ting into the garden patch Of America
with both feet, and to the number OF
nearly 1905. 900 In the last 16 years.
And he Il there to increase and multi
pIy, and he - doing so year wi
tssy. 35 ss
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22
New Education Commiss;o,, Z :,

Washington W. 7. Harris,
commissioner Of education, has ten
dered his resignation to the president,
and has appointed DR.. Elmer e. Brown.
professor Of education in the Uniyer-
sity OF California, as his successor.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22
Suggesting SAFE Course

McFibb--That fellow Huskis called
me a liar!
Eewitt-,Yes? ..#.
"Yes. What would you DO about
~"
well, II were you, I'd make It .
point always 10 tell ths truth when
he's found,--Catholic Standard.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22
Two Miners Killed

Calumet. Mich.-The cable attached
to an eight-ton skip in No. 6 shaft OF
the Quincy mine broke Wednesday,
and as the car dropped down the shaft
at a tremendous speed it killed two
men and injured another.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22
Condemns Pipe Line Bill.

Bartlesyille, I. THE executive
committee Of the Midi Continent OIL
Producers association Tuesday issued
q circular to members Of congress con-
demning the section Of the rate bill
which relates to pipe lines.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22
chasea Divorced wife with Knife.

Iowa City.--Peter Cook, after chas-
ing his divorced wife around town
with an open knife threatening to kill
her and her friend, Mrs. James Lucas,
was arrested in hiding. Mayor Ball
placed him under bonds to keep the
peace.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22
Russian Giant Visits President

Washington. = President Roosevelt
Wednesday received Mathnow, Rus
sian giant, accompanied by his wife.
The president received him in Score.
tary Loeb's Office, shaking hands With
him and wishing him we'll.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22
It's Scientific Name.

your husband is given to occasion.
al spells OF dependency. is he?" said
the caller.
"Yes," said Mrs. Lapsling. HE has
the hippocondor dreadfully some
times. Chicago Tribune.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22

"As near as kin make De dlnerene'
out" said Uncle Eben, It's us -
De speculations dat wins IS lhaes,,
ments. an dem dat loses is gamolin.Sl
Washington Star.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1906-06-22

A man and wife shouldn't take them.
selves TOO seriously. There's such .
thing e. falling out by sheer torcs Of
krayfty.--Puck.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
PLAYS THAT HAVE EARNED MIL.
: II. .s.~".' LIONS -.

: Good old rip Van Wrinkle, 80 said
stage manager, sholds. the record as
a money-maker among modern plays.
rip has earned, down to date, some
thing over $5,000,000. - ". 49,. ...~
"When EErminie' was first produced
in London, it was a, total failure. But
Rudolph Aronson saw. the possibilities
Of the pretty and. graceful opera, he
secured the American rights, he en-
gagged Francis Wilson, Marie Jansen
and Pauline Hall for the leading roles,
and he produced. 'sErminie' superbly.
The result was that Gthis opera, which
had been pronounced worthless vas
acted 1880 times, spd earned $:s'ooo,-
!" Kate Claxtopn played sThe Two
Orphans $500 times, making $4,000
900 out of the play.f. ......>
HDenman Thompson, when he wrote
The Old Homestead little thought
that his wholesome drama. would earn
100000 in twelve years. Yet those
are the authenticated figures. ill.,.
"De Koven's Robin Hood and
Jones' sSilver King have each earned
| So 100000, and still, bring in royalties
to their happy authors. -.
! "Among recent successes the great
est is Pinero' IS EHouse in Order.' This
play was put on att the St. James thea
ter last February, and ran steadily
thru the summer. It earned at the St.
flames $l,1OO,0OO, and it's provincial
and American runs are still to be heard
from.,' 4'f"'.. ILL.,. =
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
A. NARROWING TOMB

They were. talking about Valparaiso,
and a lawyer said:
"a am reminded of the most impress
i've tombstone I ever saw. 1T is at
Rotura, in the Hot Lake district Of
New Zealand, and it contains a fac
smile of the handwriting of the dead
"a dreadful sentence. - -
J. - On one side Of this obelisk grave
stone is a ife-size medallion, with the
words, In Memory of E. A. cambridge,
killed at Wairoa Hotel, on the morning
of Thursday, June 10, 1886, during the
volcanic eruption Of Mount Tarawera.
"Then on tablet to the right, in
enlarged facsimile Of Mr.. Rainbridge g
handwriting, are the words, Written by
Edward cambridge, Of Newcastle
Tyne, England. This is the most awful
moment Of my life. I cannot tell when
I am thankful that I find his strength
sufficient for me. We are under heavy
falls of Volcano.
80 On another tablet Of the obelisk the
passage is inscribed, The night Of hor.
ror, Thursday, June 10, 1886. Whilst
showers Of volcano stones and mud were
falling, gradually crushing. the hotel, he
suggested religious service. Ee read
about the penitent thief and prayed
He said, go, Lord, be. with us now
| Our lives are in Thy hands, and should
we meet Thee at this time, have mercy
| and forgive" The party then emerged
from the hotel, when he was instantly
killed by the veranda falling upon
| him. -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
A so-CALLED PORTRAIT

The late Edward Rosewater, the
founder and editor sof the S'Omaha
Bee,' had a sincere love of art.
Mr.. RoseWater hated }sspicture that
indicated scamped work-sorcalled i'm
IRRESPONSIBLE pictures that were merely
rough and hurried sketches, and So
called portraits that bore. no likeness
to their originals. - SIS. =. r.
A young painter showed Mr.. Rose
water one day a portrait of mutual
friend.
s'ThatG portrait of Smith?' the
editor exclaimed. "I'd never have
ooh" the artist explained, "I
didn't try for likeness, you know. I
tried for an effect-an effect in grays.''
IT know man in New York" said
Mr.. Rosewater, twho had his portrait
painted last year. It cost him $4,000,
and he was very proud Of it. When it
came home, he showed it to his cook.
4" well, Mary he said, chow do
you like this. portrait?'
"f Sure, SIR said the cook, 1T s
lovely. 1t s.: beautiful IT'S divine.'
" And Of course, said my friend,
you know who it isq' - =. !,
= .Oh, Of course I do, SIR said the
cook. ..,Of course, Of course AS she
spoke she kept drawing nearer to the
picture, studying it more and more
closely, .Of course. SIR she said, Sit Is
you CT the mistress. - ..s,.. :.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
AN UNFAIR DEAL

"We cashiers ought to form a
union,'' he said bitterly. I'VE don It
get Justice as it isl - ..-; ~
Seated on high stool in a quick
lunch cafe, he lifted a potted ham
sandwich to his lips with pale and ink
stained fingers. S~ r
,stThis is our CROUCH he said. eff
we are short in our cash, we have to
make the shortage good; but It we are
long, We don't profit. The firm plays
with us a game Of Heads we win, tails
you lose.' H. ::
! "For example, last week I was $7.4609
to the bad. Somehow, in paying OH
the hands, I paid out that much too
much. In consequence, $40 out of my
salary made the shortage good.
"But yesterday I was SO over. l
had underpaid some one, or some one
had overpaid me, So just. Well, was
I allowed to apply this SO surplus to
the $40 shortage? Not at all. 1t
I m today $40 short can call it square
since 7 was yesterday $40 long? - Not
a bit of it. The firm profits when / IN
long, and when I m short Ielose.
UWe cashiers ought to form q union
to correct this injustice.,f There ~ mo
reason why our surplus cash errors
should not go. to balance our deficit
cash errors WHAT'S the damage,
Nance" : j ..f4z :,
The waitress handed him 15-cent
check, and, leaving her a nickel, he
climbed down from the high STOOL
lighted cigar, and disappeared.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
A String Of
sas. p.ss.s{ I
Good Stori les
~. :. z. ,g3S..S .sss3''''y
=! cannot tel! how the truth may be;
say the tale AZ 'tWas told to me-"
.ABpY,s. REBuKE

Mrs. Herman Miller of Syracuse, who
recently lriske ed her life in fire ms or
der to saYesa cat from death, is noted
for her loYe Of animals, i, e-~.s.e,,.
A Young girEashoWed Mrs. Miller the
other day new fall hat. The atswas
adorned with a large white bird. Mrs.
Miller; looking at it, said: i
Il like it, all but that beautiful,
white fbird. never wear birds on my:
own hats. I'll tell, you why. E
I feaughtISmy little boy one spring
morning .birdnesting. He came sneak
ing into the house with three lovely,
pale blue eggs in his hand. I took him
to task, pointed out to him the cruel
ty of the thing he had done. He wept,
and promised earnestly that he would
never. rob another nest. =,
In the fall got new hat. The
first Sunday. ! put it.on to 90 to church,
| noticed Jackie regarding me
strangely. -
!" why do you look at my new hat
straight?'
~ Mother, said he, 4 know now
why you DIDN'T want me to rob no
birds nests in the spring.
well, whyg' I asked .s&&
| /" Because he answered reproach
fully, you wanted the birds to grow
up, so you could wear 'em.'''
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
A SECRET THAT SHE KEPT


Miss Mary s. Anthony, the sister of
the famous Susan B. Anthony, was talk
ing about the old, old accusation
against woman that she cannot keep a
secret. -''.st
Is. "a woman said Miss Anthony,
"can keep an. important secret as we'll
as man. The secrets she reveals
are slight and harmless ones, such
as any man would reveal. Where is
the woman who ever tells secret that
reflects on her husband or her own chill.
dren9 ~: :. 49, - @'saf Z 1sSE si,.a
: 'fHsI know a man who one day re-
fused 10 tell his wife the outcome of
a business, transaction in which, natur-
ally she took a. deep" interest. =
nsNo,' he sneered, Il won't tell you.
IF I did, you'd repeat it. You women
can never keep a; secret ~
g." john said the woman quietly,
thave Lever told the secret about the
solitaire engagement ring you gave me
eighteen years ago being pasteg' ":,,E.2
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
r.=A, z,aas THE MINNEAPOLIS JOURNAL osss J go
Dooley on the Yello,v Press

an eloped with tn hired girl. 4 TIL
childer huddle together thremblin' at
tn story iy Ter life, an tn good
woman sindsS up q prayer that her, boys
may be saved FIR I'M timptation
TIL paper. FIR tn home insists that
crime FIR ye 'er binift an has. what's
called symposium iv Christyan minis
tiers at thirty dollars a sin demandin
th' enforcement iv. tn unwritten law
that allows amy man who rayspicts
tn inviolability7 iv tn grocery store
to commit murdher at sight. AS tn
thrile approaches citizens ARE diseoy-
to put thin on tn jury. tn journal
iv tn family takes pop lar vote, none
bein' Eligible who ar-re not on til,
jury list, an ye're voted guilty be a
majority iv two hundred an eight thou.
sand to wan. TIL onscrupulous minori-
ty has to lave town on tn midnight:
thrain. When ye re taken over to tn
keep we firm bein torn to pieces be
tn mob. TIL panel waitin' to be
called to well an thruly thry we, Kisses
as we pass an a lady stabs we with a
hatpin. Siv raj iurymen refuse to sarve
because they have conscientious scru-
to hide ye'er head behind q post, but
tn Judge, who comes up FIR re-elec-
ton in tn, spring, sternly calls, on
we to stand up while thu flashlight
pitcher is bein' took! Two or three iv
tn , jurymen is on " restrained be foorce
fir I'M attackin' we while tn Indictment
is bein' read. an in about two minyits
Ter ioggin' over to thu thrain FIR
Joliet an ye'er frinds read in tn
p"t'PPsS;T H' NOTORIOUS M1sCREENT
HINNISSY HAS GOT HIS JUST
DUES, THANKS TO AN INCORRUPT
IBLE JURY " CONSTANT READ
ERS ~. THIS -GAURJEEN Nv POP.
LIAR. RIGHTS, THERE WILL BE A
| DISTRIBUTION Nv TIL PRIZES TO
TIL JURY OFFERED BE us AT
| FINUCANE'S HALL NEXT SUN
(DAH, WHIN TIL HARMED JUDGE
iDOUGHBODY WILL MAKE TIL
PRESENTATION SPEECH.
! "Wanst in while mistake is
made Maybe We aim guilty at all.
Maybe tits found at til thrile that we
were in Waukeegan tn day tn crime
was discovered an it was another man
iv tn same name that coveted tn ham.
Thu Palajeem iv our Liberties does tn
right thing be ye. TIL case demand a
full, free, frank an manly apology, an
we git it: "a
we stated yisterdah that Hnnissy was
convicted iv stealin' ham. We regret to say
that this was not SO. Adv. ~
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
SEVEN CITIES.

=. 7. -.D.
In Christiania the unvaccinatedl can a :.
In Southampton it is against, the law
to whistle in the streets on 4sRndaJ5: Z.
In Toxic every workman wears nn-his
back an inscription telling; shl bis trade
and his employer. = l. z't.f.TSs@.
Annoy (Packingtown. exceptSd lFisfthe
sewage sH, is thrown into the StTests,1vIsasss
In Madrid Tuesday is deemed liun-
lucky, and for many years mo one has
been married on that day. slaaA5 - .as. Iis-..
In Paris nearly all cafes Have Tables
on the sidewalk. From these sidieN TX
rentals the city's income is soVeEs $500 )
900. d aaosI tsl
Cannes, the perfume -making town OF
southern France, smells SO powerfully
of, flowers in the busy season that Wis
TORS are often afflicted with flower
headache
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
SAVED THE DAY

-. The earl of Wemyss, who has just
sSelebrated his 8Sth birthday, is the
father of England's volunteer army.
EFor fifty years he has been a volunteer,
ennd he can remember days when drill
Ewas not what it should have been. Once
tther was taking the corps he commanded
lup Fleet street, and presently gave the
torder, Right wheel!o The volun'
kEteers did not understand, and began to
/. eond Lord Wemfyss saw the corps would
Ebe in hopeless wreck, 50, metaphoric'
ally throwing his drillbook to the four
winds, he. roared out, ,"Damn it all,
turn, up Fetter Lane!'' The situation
| was saved-Black and White. 49,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
GAME TO THE LAST

. Adrian Iselin; at the Newport Casino,
was talking about a young ,Bostonian,
who, with smiling gallantry had res
cued a young girl from drowning.
"He was very brave,'' said Mr.. Ise-
lin. "Tho his own life was in danger,
I saw him laughing in the water. His
pluck reminded a me Of the story Of the
You know that story. Chesterfield,
during his last illness, was driving. "A
lady overlook him. 60
" How glad I am said she, to see
you driving out. y !. g.
Madam said Lord Chesterfield,
with smile, Il am not driving out.
am simply rehearsing my funeral. - ,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
USES OF MILK

A very mild North of England vicar
had for some time been displeased with
the quality Of the milk served him. AT
length he determined to demonstrate
with his milkman FOR supplying such
weak stuff. He began mildly: -.
81 we been wantingst to see you in re-
gard to the quality Of milk which you
are serving me-" 49,
eyes, sir,' uneasily answered the
tradesman. =. -.
"I only wanted to say continued
the minister, "that I use the milk for
dietary purposes exclusively, and not
for christening London Tit-Bits.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
sUPER!C'EEDED

AS the car Of Juggernaut, it's wheels
wet and red, Numbered on it's bloody
way, it met a ninety-horsepower, 1907
model automobile,7,sg =.
The two great machines confronted
one another for-<,,an instant. Then,
humbled and ashamed, the car Of Jug
gernaut turned and skunk back to it's
antiquated garage i - a.s
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
.Curiios and Oddities
"'TIs Passing strange!"

HCome statei'' ,(How do you STANDBY
The French, Comment vous portez.
vouss', (How do you carry yourself9''
The Greeks ask what you are doing;
the Chinese want to know if you enjoy
your rice; and the Russians inquire how
you are living. s---,'
Good grant His favors to you!" The
Turks, no less devout, say, "Be under
Gods care!' ~ '@'-.s ~ H.. a.:r.%' r
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
HOW IT WAS

He frowned at his chauffeur terribly.
How was it, he demanded, "that
I saw you and two young women out in
the park last night in my automo--
faltered, ttfor I was sure T seen you
take the evenin' train for the Country
club. IL
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
NEW TEST OF 1NQUIsITIvENEss

"He is the least inquisitive man I
know.' :: .5.-.. ..,...s. !.
"Yes9' - ~
eyes, indeed. When he sees a fine
automobile drawn up beside the side
walk, he never stops to read the max
er's name on the hub. -s-.s-~'.>:,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
NOTHING NEW

."Here's some one has invented a
buttonless coat.' s-'.E =.
q They re old enough. I've worn
them ever since my wife got her auto
mobile. ," ="
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
VARIOUS HoW-ARE.You's.

tHow are you4n in German is 9 Vie
befnden sic sich9', How do you find
YOURSELF Tt is also s Vie gent 8. ''
The Dutch say S Hoe vaart giifO
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
THE MURDEROUS GAME

- HSpeaking Of football coaches
said Tete de Veau. =
"Yes9' murmured L'Oignon.
"There goes an ambulance ::
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09
=, -. ARREST TED FR uook1 IN
'uCnG1NGEYg.AT5A HAM, i

.ftTh'' thrile is set FIR NOVEMBER, but
! ve,re thried. convicted an doin' tn
!: lock step last August if we Only knew
t. Iv'ry night whin father comes home
i from his wurruk he brings a copy iv tn
sKazoo an reads about this fend in
human form divine, which means you,
sHinnissy. Ye'er horrid past leaps out
in " 'ry saloon. People that niver
fheerd iv ye raymimber an tell how yee
: robbed tn poor box, bate down child
5 with hip disease, starved ye'er fam 'ly
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09

IL. p. Dunno in the American Magazine
Maybe th' Tiditor is onto ,ye. An,
re IRE arrested rslookin' longingly at
8 ham on Easter; Sundah, ye might as
well 60 an have ye'er hair cut an
save throuble FIR til prison barber
iWhin We wake up in tn, mernlny tn.
what We sees, -3 N,as *
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-09

Let those who wish to worry -
/ Over guilt, and greed, and graft;
Let Cuba fret and furry
Until Secretary Taft, -.
Grown weary Of their kidding
And impatient of. their "pipes,"
I Sets all the tailors bidding
/ On a suit Of Stars and Stripes.
Net men grow all the wiser :.
Guessing what Bill Hearst can pull
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1906-01-20
Fire In Lo68ing Camp.

Last Saturday evening, about 7:30
o'clock. fire destroyed one of the
buildings at Alphonse Gamache s
logging camp, on section seven.
The building was used as q resi-
dence by Henry Fournier, and it
appears that he had built fire in an
air tight stove, aud went into one
of the adjoining buildings for short
time. Whether the stove exploded,
or became over-heated is not known.
The Discrimination of the affair was
bright flash Of light, as the flames
broke through the roof aud attract
ed the attention OF the men in the
main camp.
Every effort was made to save the
contents Of the house. but the FIRE
had gained such headway that it was
impossible to do so.
Mrs. Fourier was in L'Anse at
the time. Their loss is estimated
at about 5000.