davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-17
What the Market Affords

THE toughness Of pneappes is almost entirely eliminated
by sicng the fruit up and down. from stem to blossom
end instead of thru the usually done. Thrust
fork into the blossom end to hold the apple steady and slice
until to the hard thy which then be dis
carded The trick taught by old pineapple grower
and makes all the difference the world in the tenderness
Of the fruit which usually hard and chippy when sliced
with instead of against the grain.
Coffee icing good combination with spice cake Boil
four of best Java coffee with pint down
to half pint keeping it covered Strain thru fine cloth
and add two tablespoonful Of Drowned color
ing, and either bowl Of cooked white Icing which
come stiff, bowl Of fondant
Unlike other broled meats pork tenderloin should be
broed for twenty to twenty-five minutes and turned
two minutes Lay upon hot dish sprinkle with salt
and pepper and with lemon juice and dot with bits Of but
Cover closely and allow it to stand for ten minutes be-
fore serving Pass with it hot unsweeened apple
A pleasant change from pork and beans boil and
strain thru colander quart Of white beans in
quarter cupfu Of butter tablespoon Of chopped
parsley and leaf two Of mint chopped fine Stir the
beans and toss the mixture in the pan until hot Heap on
platter with slices of broiled bacon around the edge
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-17
THE DIFFERENCE.

IL j. ALLEN, editor Of Ottawa, Kan. while cleo
tloneering for congress among the farmers of his
district took with him the champion cornhusker
Of the state.
You see, " said Mr. Allen to reporter, "whie argue
and the cornhusker pitches in husks corn for the
farmer Thus the farmers time is not wasted While he
stands Idle listening to the cornhsker carries on the
work Of the farm for him. " &~'"i p.
Between listening while the work goes back and sten
ing while the work goes forward there is much of diff
ference yet it is which has remarkable effect on the
impression create In this way it like certain COM
" Gone man said to another: $500 i. @E
4 pleased Mrs. Brown tremendously the other night
by asking her if she herself her daughters Said
couldn't tell them apart
''The other man frowned. r.
" That's strange he muttered 7 worked the same
scheme on the daughter, and she didn't like it worth
cent -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-17
THE RIGHT ANSWER.


I GEORGE HARVEY, the editor was talking about lit
! ~ erary prize competitions - ~..- =. - -.
These competitions doubt do good - he said, ''but
they excite great deal Of rage and bitterness. If
stance there 800 competitors for prize it is likely
400 Of them will be dissatisfied with the award.'
Mr. Harvey smiled. =: $500. -..... ~ =. = 80: >..<
s Lucky is the judge he said, 'vho answer the
tdsgruntled competitor a friend of mine once did
My friend was the judge in sonnet contest Over
thousand sonnes submitted My friend read them
all awarded the prize Of $25 to young gentleman Of Bos
ton and in few days received from another competition
letter saying: IT, IT,, 49,
Have you not made mistake, and given the prize to
the worst instead Of to the best sonnet?
My friend wrote back: s' w: = A@@t$
$ No. for if had, the prize would undoubtedly have
fallen to YOU - H. t.~@ 4.7
CHANGE OF BILL NEEDED
ST ARGE house tonight7'' asked the critic
- Manager Fiasco groaned.
never looked 50 large before he said There are
only four people in it,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28

very communicative. but Mir. Peasley persevered. It was his theory that when one is travelling and meets a fellow Caucasian who Is shy or reticent or suspicious the thing to do is to keep on talking to him until he feels quite at ease and the entente cordiale is ful- ly established. So. Mir. Peasley told the Englishman all about Iowa and said 1t was Gods Country" The Engllshman fully agreed with him-that is. if si- Ience gives consent. There was a full in the conversation and Mir. Peasley, seeking to give 1t a new turn. said to his neighbor, T like this town best of and I've seen. Is this your first visit to BrusselRT
 T have never been to Brussels" re- piled the Englishman.
 That is. never until this time." sug- gested Mir. Peasley. I'm In the same boat. Just landed hero today. I've heard of 1t before. on account of tho carpet coming from here and of course everybody knows about Brussels sprouts. but I had no idea 1t was such a big place. It's bigger than Rock Is- land and Davenport put together"
 The Engllshman began to move away, at the same time regarding the cheerful Peasely with solemn wonder ment. Then he said:--
 My dear sir. I am quite unable to follow you. Where do you think you are2'
 "BrusseIs-it's in Belgium-capltal. same as Des Moines in Iowa"
 My good man. you are not in Rrns' sells. You are In Antwerp"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28
GEORGE AIDE IN PASTURES NEW
es. s.

invented bowling alley, a billiard hall and Wednesday night prayer meeting Witnout further compromising myself.
 The chief wonder of our new liner (for all of us had proprietary inter- est the moment we came aboard) was the systems of elevators. Just think of it. Elevators gliding up and down fetween decks ths same as Tn a mod ern office building. Very few passen- gers used the elevators, but it gave us something to blow about after we had returned home.
 Outside of the cage stood a young German with blond pompodour and a tacketthat came just below his should CT blades He was so clean he look td as if he had been scrubbed with soap and then rubbed with holystone Every German menial on board seemed 10 have two guiding ambitions in life. One was to keep himself immaculate. and the other was to grow a U-shaped mustache, the same as the one worn hv the Kaiser.
 The boy in charge of the elevator would plead with people to get in and ride. Usually, unless he waylaid them, they would forget all about the new improvement and would run up and down stairs in the old fashioned man. ner instituted by Noah and initiated by Christopher Columbus.
 This boy leads checkered career on each voyage. When he departs from New York he is the elevator boy. As the vessel approaches Plymouth. Eng land,- he becames the lift attendant. At Cherbourg he Is transformed into a sarcon d'ascenseur, and as the ship
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28
.ss.s z. fe tssse s s .e< et%< =
BY GEORGE ADE.

(Copyright, -960, by George Ade.)
 A month before sailing l visited the floating skyscraper which was to bear us away. It was hitched to dock in Hoboken. and it reminded me of a St. Bernard dog. tied by a silken thread. It was the biggest skin afloat. with an observatory on the roof and covered porches running all the way around. 1t was a very large boat.
 After inspecting the boat and ap- proving of it. I selected a room with southern exposure. Later on when we sailed. the noble craft backed into the river and turned round before heading for the Old World. and I found myself on the north side of the ship. with nothing coming in at the porthole ex- cept a current of cold air direct from Labrador
 This room was on the starboard or port side of the ship-I forget which After travelling nearly one million miles. more or less, by steamer I am still unable to tell which is starboard and which is port. I can tell time by the ships bell if you let me use a pencil. but "starboard" means nothing to me. Tn order to make 1t clear to the reader. I will say that the room was on the 'haw' side of the boat. I thought I was getting the ''gee" side as the vessel lay at the dock. but I forgot that it had to turn around in order to start for Europe, and found myself "haw.' I complained to one of the officers and said that I had en- gagged stateroom with southern ex- posture He said they couldn't back up
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28

To say that it was about seven hun dred feet long and nearly sixty feet beam and 42.000 tons displacement does not give a graphic idea of it's huge proportions. A New Yorker might un-
 derstand if toldNhat this ship, stood on end. would be about, as tall as two Flatiron buildings spliced end to end Out in Indiana this comparison was unavailing. as few of the residents have seen the Flatiron building and only small percentage of them have any desire to see it. So when a Hoo sier acdualntance asked me something about the ship led him out into Main street and told him that it would roach from the railroad to the Presbyterian church. He looked down street at the depot and then be looked ND street at the distant Presbyterian church. and then he looked at me and walked away. Every statement I make In my native town is received win doubt Paople have mistrusted me ever since came home years ago and announced that was working
 Evidently he repeated what I had said, for in a few minutes another resident came up and casually asked me something about the ship and wanted to know how long she was. I repeated the Presbyterian church story. He merely remarked T thought BIT was lying to me-" and then went his way.
 It is hard to live down a carefully acquired reputation, and therefore the statement as to the length of the ves- sal was regarded as a specimen out burst of native humor. When I went
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28

all the way across the Atlantic just to give me the sunny side of the boat. This closed the incident. He did ex- plain. however. that if I remained in the ship and went back with them would have southern exposure all the way home.
 The fUnexDected manner in which the boat turned around has suggested tc nfe scheme for a revolving apart ment house. The building will be set on gigantic casters and will revolve slowly. so that every apartment will have a southern exposure at certain hours of the day, to say nothing Of the advantage of getting a new view every few minutes. It .s we'll known that apartments with southern expos- ure and overlooking the Boulevard command double rental. When every apartment may have a southern expos ure and face the main thoroughfare. think of the tremendous increase in revenues! l explained my scheme for a revolving apartment house to gen tIeman from Saint Joe. Mo. whom met in the smoking room. and he has agreed 10 give t a financial backing.
 Our ship was the latest thing out
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28

MT. Peasely had been in Rotterdam for two days, and after galloping mad ly thu ough churches, galleries and mu- seums for eight hours q day he said that he had seen enough of Dutch art to last him a million years at very conservative estimate, so he started for Brussels. He asked the proprietor at the hotel at Rotterdam for the name or a go, q hotel in Brussels and the pro- prietor told him to go to the Hotel Victoria. He saij 1t was first class establishment and was run by his bro ther-in-Iaw. Every hotel keeper in Europe has a brother-in-law running hotel in some other town.
 Mir. Peasley was loaded Into the train by watchful attendants, and as there were no Englishmen in the com partment he succeeded In getting a good seat right by the window and dtd not have to ride backward. Very soon he became immersed In an American book He read on and on. chapter af- ter chapter. not needing the flight Of time. until the train rolled Into a cav ernous train shed and was attacked by the usual energetic mob of porters and hotel runners. Mir. Peaslcy looked out and saw that they had arrived at an other large city. On the other side or the platform was q large and beauu- ful bus mark d Hotel NlctoFla' MT Peasley shrieke1 for a porter and be- gan dumping Gladstone bags. steamer rugs. cameras and other impedimenta out through the window. The man from the Victoria put these on top or the bus and in few minutes MT Peasley was riding through the tidy tborourhfares and throwing mental bouquets at the street cleaning depart ment.
 When he arrived at the Victoria he was mot by the proprietor. who wore the frock coat and whiskers which are thc universal insignia of hospitality.
 Your brother-in-law in Rotterdam told me to come here and put up with you" explained MT Peasley He said you were running first class place watch means. spose, first class for this country. If you fellows over hero would put in steam hear and bath rooms and electric lights and then give us something to eat fin the bargain
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28

ria hotel is universal-the same as Scotch whiskey."
 And I am now in Antwerp7" Most assurediy." MT. Peasley went to his room. He did not dare to return to face the En- gllshman. Next day he proceeded to Brussels and found that he could work from the same guide book just as suo- cessfully as e~had Tn Antwerp.
 When I met. him on the steamer he said that during all of his travels since 1895 he never had duplicated the re- markable experience at Antwerp. AS soon as he alights from a train he goes right up to some one and asks the name of the town.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28

Kaiser deck--a gorgeous pocket edi- ton of sherry.s or Delmonico's in New York, the Carlton m London or the Ritz in Paris. Formerly on the North Atlantic, and especially during the winter season. the only persons who dressed for dinler were misguided Engllshmen, who would rather take a chance on pneumonia than violate any of their national traditions. The new type of steamer is housed In and steam heated and all the people who dined In the glittering restaurant far from the common horde sof the main dining sa- loon were attired t0 the limit The usual Hungarian orchestra played hur- rah music, and what with the SWISS walters and the candelabra. the fresh caviar and other iuxuries of high lIv-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28

your hotels wouldn't be so bad. ad- mire the stationary in your writing rooms, and the regalia worn by your walters is certainly all right, but that's about all I can say for you"
 The proprietor smiled and bowed and Said he hoped his brother-in-law in Rotterdam was in good health and en- toying prosperity. and Mir. Peasley said that he. personally, had left with the brother-in-iaw enough money to run the hotel for another six months.
 After Mir. Peasley had been conduct ed to his room he dug up his Baedeker and very carefully read the introduce tion to Bruss sls. Then he studied the map for little while. He believed in getting good general Idea of the lay of things before he tackled new
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28
De Ruyter (Holland) Gin

Some of the paintings were not prop erly labelled, but he knew that slip- shod methods prevailed in Europe that a civilization which Is on the downhill and about to play out cannot be expected to breed businesslike accuracy. He wrote marginal correv- tions in his guide booxs and doctored up the map a little. several streets having been omitted and returned to the hotel at dusk feeling very we'll re- paid. From the beginning of his tour he had maintained that when K man goes out and gets information or impressions of his own unaided ef- forts he gets something that will abide with him and become a part of his in- teilectual and artistic fibre. That which is ladled into him by q verbose guide soon evaporates or oozes away.
 At the table d'hote Mir. Peasley had the good fortune to be seated next 10 an Englishman. to whom he addressed himself The Englishman was not
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28

on to say that the boat would have on board three times as many people as there were in our whole town. that she had seven decks. superimposed like the layers of a jelly cake: that eleva- tors carried passengers from one deck to another. that a daily newspaper was printed on board and that a brass band gave concerts every day, to say noth- ing of the telephone exchange and tho free bureau of information. then all doubt war dispelled and my local standing as a dealer in morbid fiction was largely fortified.
 How about the skating rink?" ask ed the druggist
 There is no skating rink, but there h large gymnasium supplied with mechanical horses and camels, so that a passenger may take a long ride be- tore breakfast"
 Carry any vet'inary surgeons?"
 "No;' but two doctors. Also there iC 8 book store and a florist shop."
 It was gospel truth, every word of 1t, put they listened and tried to keep straight faces, and then broke out and began to laugh. Seeing that was set down as hopeless liar, I went on and
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28

ing it was difficult for one to realize that he was riding on the high seas at the most inclemei season of the year. It was all very F'itth avenue--even to the check.
 On the steamer met an old friend Mir. Peasley, of Iowa. We first collld- ed in Europe in 1895, when both of us were over for the first time and were groping our way about the Continent and pretending to enjoy ourselves. Al out the time first encountered MT. Peasley he had an experience which in all probability is without parallel in human history. Some people to whom I have told the story frankly disbeliev- ed it, but then they did not know MT. Peasiey. It is all very true, and it happened as follows:-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28

town. He marked on the map a few of the show places which seemed worth while, and then he sallied out, waving aside the smirking guide who attempt ei to lawn upon him as he paused at the main entrance. MT. Peasley would have nothing to do with guides. He always said that the man who had to be led around by the halter would do better to stay tight at home.
 It was a verw busy afternoon for MT. Peasley. At first he had some difficult ty in finding the places that were marked in red spots on the map. This was because he had been holding the map upside down. By turning the map the other way and making due allow ance for the inaccuracies to be expect ed in a book written by ignorant for-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28
CIRCUIT COURT AT sEALE.

Candidate Martin Makes Speech to .
 Large Crowd.
 Scale March 27.-(Special. )--circuit Corut convened yesterday with Judge A. A. Evans presiding. The grand Jury has been organized with W. M. Burt of Pittsview foreman.
 Marry L. Martin, candidate for Con- gress against Hon. Fl. D. Clayton, ad- dressed a large crowd at the Court House here yesterday in the interest of his candidacy. Very little -enthusi- asm was aroused.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28
"Antwerp."l
 "Certainlvs

"Antwerp."l
 Certainly" Why I've been all over town today. with guide book. and He paused and a horrible suspicion settled upon him. Arising from the table he rushed to the outer office and confronted thu manager.
 What's the name of this town I'm inT' he demanded.
 "Antw srp." replied the astonishest manager.
 Mir. Peasiey leaned against the wall and gasped Well, I'll be -----l' he be- gan, ana the;I language failed him. You said you had & brother r-in-law in Rotterdam" he said, when he re- covered his voice.
 That is quite true"
 And the Victoria Hotel--is there one in Brussels and another in Ant werp?'
 There is a Victoria hotel In every city in the whole world. The Vieto-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28

eigners. the whole ground plan of the city strengthened itself out. and he boldly went his way. He visited an
 old cathedral and two art galleries. reading long and scholarly comments on the more celebrated masterpieces.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28

The Auto. Little drops of gasoline Backed by grit and Fand Makes the mighty au O Smash records OCT tl 10 land.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-28
Hon. Jake Moore Suffered Twenty Years With Indigestion.
 Cured by KodoI Dyspepsia Cure.
ATLANTA, August 10, 1904.
E. c. DEWIrr & Co.,, Chicago, III.
TOM EASoN.
 Commissioner
GooDLoE NANCY, :. .-- ..... Secretary.
J. c. MOORE.
 State Warden.

ATLANTA, August 10, 1904. E. G. DEWITT & Co., Chicago H.
 Dear Sirs-I have suffered than twenty from nd geson About eighteen months that could digest crust of and could retain anything on My heart would could sleep would almost draw double pain pit of stomach twenty-five pounds in fact made that could short time, when friend of recommended Kodo Dyspepsia consented to yit please him one weigh than ever did better health than for Kdo did it. keep bottle constantly and write this hoping that humanity will be
 Yours very truly,
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1906-05-31
PROFESSOR TRIGGS AND
WIFE ARE SEPARATED
Former Chicago University Man Now
at Apartments Of Pretty Young
Demonstration.

Chicago May 3O.-Professor Oscar l..
Triggs. who severed his connection
With the University Of Chicago I'M
der circumstances that caused a stir
throughout the educational world, has
reached an agreement with Mrs. TriggS
for n permanent separation.
Whether a divorce will ollow has
not been made public. The separation
will email as complete as any legal
mandate could effect. Mrs. Triggs is
living now in Paris, France. and the
professor in Chicago, as the result OF
a mutual arrangement.
The apartments which Professor
Triggs now calls home are those OF
Miss C. NJ. Pagan, a handsome young
demonstration of hygiene articles.
In conjunction with Professor j. Mil
ton Jones, who became conspicuous
following his action in divorcing his
wife to develop his soul, and his sub
sequent marriage to another woman
within eleven days, Professor Triggs
will soon begin the publication Of a
magazine devoted to discussion of
Mans tnnermost Thought"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1906-05-31
CUT OFF IN HIS WiFE'S
WILL; BLAMES X-RAYS
Says Drugs Were Used to Alleviate
Pain They Caused, and Sister
Influenced Her,

Buffalo, N. Y, May 3O.-An interest
Ing contest is being conducted before
Surrogate Hart, Of Buffalo, by Lewis
Grover Vogel. formerly of 5113 Balti-
more avenue, Philadelphia, to set aside
the will Of his wife, Addie b. Vogel, who
died in this city about eight months
ago.
Several novel questions OF medical
Jurisprudence are involved in the hus-
bands charge of undue influence and
mental incompetency, according to the
evidence at the hearing. Mrs. Vogers
will left the major portion of her estate
Of $4,000 to her sister, Mrs. Alice
Scheu. Her husband alleges that his
wife was an invalid and was treated
with an N-ray apparatus. He says the
treatments were of such a character
that the mysterious currents burned
deep into the tissues.
During the last year Of her life it
became necessary to administer soda
tives to Mrs. VOgel to ease her suffer-
ing. Her sister, Mrs. Scheu, the hus-
band says, was with her a great deal
of this time, and owing to the drugs
and her presence, she SO Influenced his
wife that Mrs. Vogel made the requests
without considering his welfare.