New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-01-22
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Frenctrnan has run to earth the slowest ordi-
nary passenger train in the world This record
holder is described page 70 OF the Guide Cha1
and runs between Soto de Rey and Clano santa
Ana in Spain The line Is thirteen and three-quar-
ters miles long. and it has staten en- route
viz Sauna which is twelve miles from Soto de Fey
and one and threequarters miles from Ciano SANTA
Ana Leaving the list named place at 6:-5 p NJ
the train reaches Sana at $50 and Soto DC Rey al
500 Thus the averages rate OF speed Of the train
is under seven miles an hour, while from Ciano
Santa Ana to Sauna the speed is only three ana
three-Quarters miles an hour
Alissionary-lMy friend. do you ever think about
your future state? -.
,s1ers? We ANT been thinkn Of anything else
for tn last Eve years.'-tCleveland Leader
s B. Clark of Omaha who had gone out on
hr,n+ In the Big Horn Mountains, missing. His
friends found his body and the bodies OF TWO
grizzly bears lying together. The bears had died
az bullet and knife wounds. Clark had four broken
ribs a chewed arm and wound at the base OF
the brain.
Worse Than Ananias-The next arrival at the
pearly gates was dapper little chap In a leather
'sAnd what was your occupation on earthr' asked
"I vas an automobile dealez" replied the new
AM And did you guarantee your machines not
Yes that was one Of Of, my drawing cards"
the man who guaranteed patent feathers not 10
And the pearly gates closed with dismal bang
Chicago News.
General Gilman Marston was one Of those lawyers
who venture to twit the court on It's knowledge OF
law, according 10 THE Buffalo Commercial" Once
when Judge Doe ruled a point that NIarston had
made and thought well OF. the latter said. Your
honors law reminds OF the definition Of law
given by old darkey. He said: De law, my
frens. like a ground glass window. It may
afford a little light TO guide US frew de dark and
III
self couldn't see frew It,
REVISED PROVERBS.
It's wise who knows when to ask his father
The best policy is paid-up life insurance
a dollar in hand is worth two loaned to friend.
p Do -, ma. man to-dday; he'll DO you tomorTow
Where there's q win there's feast for lawyers.
Nothing viii be done well that you do yourself Il
you don't know how.
When e9 the cat s away the night sts is qUist
An honest mans word is as good as his bond
when when You've po{tnins 70 lose, .,,.,.nr.
comes scorching your way.-QAppincotts Maya
zine
THE man who beat BaIfour" as he is already
known, is lawyer. named HorTidge a stranger
in Manchester. The Liberals thought little or
his chances when they sent him down there hut
Horrldse is something OF fighter. He called Mr.
Balfour's division the Port Arthur OF Conserva-
tism." and asked everybody initiate the Japanese
and take the stronghold
His Course Clearly Marked out-rhe election,
boss was beaten out 81 his boots He haG bs oss
feated IN every precinct ~
What are you going TO do now eolonel?. his
faithful followers asked him
Gentlemen. no said, initiating his chest and
speaking in a voice OF thunder. II have made IN
my mind to retire from political leadership!'-{C,h
cage Tribune.
A Halifax earsman has invented q machine for
keeping in trim IN the winter. II is a sled with
a rowing seat With the aid OF steel edged oars
he rows over the ice at great speed
Main Trouble--"The main trouble with pedes-
trlansin as an exercise, said the man with men
tai strabsmus. rs that when u fellow nrst begins
II his friends declare he is crazy ana that when
he has been at IL two three DAYS he beeIns ~
share their opinion."-tIudga "