The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1906-10-25

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Weary WilIie-Can yer s'viDe ride
under an autcs Dusty Rbodes-Naw.
that's where the owner stays
Clipped.
Truthful.-"How DO you take your
steakY asked the charitable house
wife. Il takes II mighty rare" replied
the tramp
so you feel that your automobile Is
perfectly safer Most OF the time
when II is In the repair shop Wash
ington Star.
Toast-"Fatber. why do they call
speech made at a banquet toastT
MY son." was the answer. 1T Is PROB
ably because II is 50 dry"
CautIon.-Mrs- Neville Bridget.
don't want you TO build fire in tho
new stove until you tly the oven. so II
1t doesn't bake can send IL back
Does be believe In the survival OF
the httesty' HE does -On what
groundY' why. be says he's here and
that proves it"-san Francisco Call
Mrs X.-You used to call me an
angel MFR. X.-well. ] used to think
you were one Mrs X--ADd now7
Mr.. x--And now / wish you we're
Cleveland Leader
Reporter-Why is II that so many
people commit suicide In the spring,
DIR. TbInkfank-I don't know. ] think
myself that well or river would DO
better.-Flashlight
step liyely," said the conductor
Not on your life" responded tho
grouchy passenger. IF ] felt like doing
that I'D walk and beat your old car
Philadelphia Ledger.
Ethel showed papa one Of your
poems and be was delighted Scribb'er
Indeed. Ethel-Yes; said II was SO
bad be thought you'd probably be able
TO earn living at something else
Judge
Somewhat Mixed--A young man
who was about TO be married was very
nervous, and. while asking for Infor-
nation as to how he must act. put the
question: lis it Missionary to cuss the
brides"
Isn't II splendid out here all alone~
began Mr.. BoreIm. who had found her
musing beside the quiet lake Yes
replied Miss Bright Il was thinking
that very thing as you came along
Philadelphia Press
Mrs Wilder lat the door)-I thought
| told you never to call again Mr.
Loster-I didn't come to see you
madam. / came to collect little bill
ALI see-er-call again. WON'T
you g--Cieveland Leader
II was a thankful Alma wife that
sent the following Recommendation to
a patent medicine firm: Gentlemen. be-
fore taking your medicine ! was too
weak to spank my baby. but now can
lick my husband--Clipped
Patient-well. doctor. do you think
I'm getting well all rights Doctor
Oh. yes: you still have good deal OF
fever. but that doesn't trouble me -Of
course not II you had fever II
trouble me"-Scissors
Il think my speech on this question
VIII have some effect" 1T has already
had an effect" answered Senator Sor-
zhum- You have caused two OF more
questions to grow where there was but
one before. Washington Star
Young Lady to Clerk in Bookstore
[ am looking for something suitable
for an old gentleman who has been
raarried fifty years Can you suggest
Clerk tpromptly)-~A
Half Century Of Conflict
Nistress-I am sorry to trouble you.
Bridget, but my husband wants bis
breakfast tomorrow ut 80. Cook
Oh. IL won't be no throuble at ALL mum.
4 be don't knock nothin' over whole
,ookin' 1t an wake me up--Judge-
Bishop-Never again preach against
" reject so-calied tainted money
sir; but Blshop-No
,uts: II we intend to successfully com
,ete with the devil on modern lines we
must first ruin him financially--Life-
Young Husband-I told the governor
thought II would be wise IL we start
d housekeeping at once Young Wife
And did he endorse the opinicn7
Ioung Husband-0h. yes. he endorsed
he opinion all right.-Town and coun-
~.
And then" said Miss Passay. ~hs
,sked me II wouldn't marry the first
nan that came along. Think OF it,
'YesY replied Miss Pepprey- The
dea, Don't those obviously unneccs-
airy questions make you tiredy"-
Press