The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-06-10

early one morning when our freight car
was humping over some rough road IN
South Dakota, that us two fellers are
an sought the Golden Fleece nine, 10
play emp
THE Golden Fieas?" says /. What
| In thunder did they call EN- that for
| because they were fast on their feet2"
Not fieas, you mark-feece. The
Golden Fleece. They used TO call mines
funny names them days"
What was the scorer" says /. Did
they bring the ball back?"
''Lemme see" says Pinch. It's so
long since heard the story 1 most for
get, but I think they got back. But it
was their trip that cut ice. These here
heroes went out and roUed a long ways
i'm boat an passed through two big
rocks that near chewed 'em Up, an
some beautiful females under shady
trees that beckoned to 'em to come
ashore"
Did they go?' says I.
mo, you ninny. Il they'd a-went
they'd a-been ct Up, because they was
sirens. You've heard the sirens down
to Chi. on the lake front. amt your
] said yes.
well, these sirens talked like that"
Huh" says !. Il know what I'd a
done if one Of 'en talked to me. I'd a
beat it.. That's a foolish story. An
you can't get any beautiful female yarn
by me. That siren down to Chi is nuth-
in but big w'istle an can't eat nuth-
In but steam"
Pinch looked like he was tired.
60 course" says he. they're only
called sirens. The real sirens sang an
visited, an played drums an things
so plaintive that it was impossible to
resist. But the leader o the heroes he
stuffed chewin' gum in his players ears
an they never heard the pretty VIM
min. Only one Teller, a good utility
man, or a spare pitcher, he pulled the
gum out Of one ear an in a minute
jumped over an swan in. He never
came back
Then they played a game with a
nine O giants with one eye, an beat
EN-. The giant ketcher got spiked in
the face an got blinded. an the heroes
needed a run TO win. They worked the
squeeze. an Jason--he was the man
ager-he came tearin' in I'm third But
the ketcher had the ball. an he couldn't
get by him, so he ketched a goat that
was eating near by an grabbed hold
of the fur on his stumnick, an let him
drag him lords the plate. The giant
ketcher let the goat by, but felt of his
back to see that nobody was ridin' him.
rs
an Jason made the plate, an won the
game. There were cagey players IN
them days"
Must a been a p'ticular bright bunch
o giant basemen an fielders," says I, }
that wouldn't tip their men off. b.
sides, how could he ketch, an him
blinded? think you're lynn again"
Honest Injun," says Pinch. It's all |
in a book home. Well, as I was sayin'. |
va %
out Iookin' for a Ieather-handed ketch- /
er and a rubbeT-armed shortstop, an /
bunk into innUmerable difficulties, like |
the Argue Nots."
THE who?" says L
THE Argue Nots. I expect they were |
called that cause they didn't baektalk /
the empire But what's this?'
The door Of our car slid open. an the 4
biggest head an pair o shoulders you /
ever see was pushed in, an the teller /
had only one wicked little eye. He sees /
US with it an yells:
'Wot'Te you guys dOin' here2"
"Lookin' for ball nine with a rubber /
armed shortstop an a leather-handed 4
ketcher onto it," says Pinch.
Ball players, hey?" says he. An he 4
reaches in an grabs US by the collars 4
an pulls US out, bag an baggage.
N.Y. He was a, giant, an no error.
My feet didn't touch the ground when 4
he had me by the collar. He snaked /
US across the tracks, through a stretch /
o. woods, over a lot O. pIowed ground,
I'D two hills, over a mountain, Waded a
wide river, jumped over a canyon a
hundred feet deep an finally came to a
desert with nuthin' but sand in sight.
Then he visited an another guy like
him come up, an Pinch was passed
over.
We must a Travelled a hundred miles
over that desert, an finally at nightfaII
We come to a town of big houses.
We just had time to see that all the
people in town was as big as the two
that had US, except them that was
young ones an CROWN, when we were
chucked into a big, high stone room
There was sOmethin' to eat there, and
light, and lot o. skins to sleep on.
Tomorrow" says 6he giant that
snaked US out O. the car, you shall
teach the SinglelOol1er community the
game o baseball"
Here's a fine GO" says Pinch We
90 thinkin' about the Argue Nots an
their giants an run up against a bunch
ourselves, an all shy an eye. / wonder
wot's the answer!
Course there wasn't any. so we looked
over the grub an ct some, and had a
smoke, an In comes nine giants an sets
down.
]
saws the one who had stole US. They
looked kind O. humble an not at all
fierce like they would eat US. So Pinch
sets UP on the table to get nearer their
faces. crosses his legs an lights butt.
"Tm Pinch Hobbs, Of the Alfalfas,''
saws he. This is my side partner,
Haggerty, the greatest bat
ter that ever lived"
Except Swottzy," says they all in a
chorus.
Bar none" says Pinch. II can prove
It."
Speak" says their leader, the man
that stole us, while the rest murmured,
'Swottzy forever
Hes the best hitter in the world, E"
says Pinch, because he once knocked
a ball 'leVen miles"
They set up an took notice
He once hit a high fly that landed
On Mars" continued Pinch.
Each eye begun to bulge out.
An, finally" says Pinch, he can