Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-06-23
MIGHTY QUEER TALK

| Did you ever hearken unto that audible
gas when the base bali fans and the horse
bugs Of your nefghhorhood talk over the
| sporting results OF an evening at the corner
cigar store or drug shop or rumoriumf II
you have you've listened to some mighty
jumhled converse ton. The whole bunch
come as near talking all together in Jumps
a. any assemhlage OF ladies at q sewing
circle. The base bali fans and the horse
bugs who meet up at these talk-fests are
strictly for their own game and no other.
The bali fans show strong annoyance over
| the exclusive interest of the horse bugs in
the way the ponies have run. whereas the
horse players look upon the base ball fans
| "A mild but father Questionable breed Of
idiots. And 80 they gather themselves In
| little groups wherein their pet obsession Is
discussed. and the result Is an amount OF
| south breeze that 1t would be hard to dupli-
cate at any other sort of gathering The
base ball fans and the horse bugs are sub
divided into optimists and pessimists. and
they decline to view any kind of q PROPOSE
ton except from their own angle.
We'll. the Nationals cop, hey?" says one
OF the ball optimists Huh, bad, guess.
| suppose l didn't tell you plugs last night
that had a bunch we were going to snag
today's game suppose didn'tg'
You and your lunches. sticks in the
confirmed base ball pessimist and knocker.
They just fiuked through todays game,
that's how they got 1t. Made five errors
| Just got the game by pure buil-head luck.
They gotta show me that
WELL what dye think Of that-Bat Mas
terson gets beat by a two-year-old mutt
| that l never even heard of before. and me
! with five bucks on him." means one of the
horse bugs. Every one of the paper pickers
gave Bat Masterson as the one best bet.
too--all of EN-. said he couldn't lose. Huh.
Swell lot o. swamp crabs, those consensus
makers with their one best bets-and me
| falling for 1t with five bones! Bat Master
son couldn't beat three-legged. cook stove
running down hill. Now / could ha' bet
| those five simoleons on that 40 to l thing
Huh, 1 picked that 40 co 1 thing, Aero
| bat, myself this morning, puts In another
| of the disappointed horse bugs. "Doped him
| out as pipe-sky, even If he had been run
ming like mud cat. and came as near as
anything putting a ten-spot on him. Only
| thing that kept of was that I was
afraid they might put a punt jock up-and
| here he ambles home at 40 to 1. and me
breaking my neck this afternoon to reach
| the phone in time to get my five down on
| lob that they chalk up at to 8, and
| that doesn't slam into the money. Prince of
| all the Patses-that's met"
We'll. what dye think of that parlay of
| mine today?" snorts another of the horse
bugs. Five of 'em go through and the
| other one of 'em runs second on me-what
dye think O that? Now, II that last one
| had ha' gone through for me. what dye
think the parlay I'D have paid? I figured
| 1t out while. ago. 1t would ha paid just
ss7. 5e7.45 to ST. 1 guess that wasn't the
! bum luck!'
Just pure fat-headed luck. our getting
| that game o. ball." croaks the chronic base
ball knocker. tSurest thing you know it
| was The other fellows had to all but lay
down and slip the game to us. They made
more hits than we did, but they must ha'
! got to booting the ball all over the yard
when We happened to be poking it li:tle.
| and that's how 1t happened On'y way we
| can ever get game OF ball Is to have the
al or fay1
switch the team around like I've often told
| you, and make the field captain
These ball bugs give me the ear buzz
| growls one of the pony enthusiasts. Cant
| see what they find In 1t. Every game OF
| ball Is just about like another. Now, you
| take horse race-why, every race is diff
ferent, and
IT guess I haven't got Jonah asleep at
| the switch when it comes to getting It
where Leonora wore the leopard's teeth
cuts in another Of the horse bugs sadly.
Me with tv nty pieces of zinc on that
| skate that nailed his race at 20 to 1 and
| then gets disqualified. That's the nearest
| get to yanking down bet in three
straight months-land one that gets dis
| qualified after greasing home at 20 to J.
That's the kind O. roses the old game pins
on me-
Huh, that's a mighty big noise they're
making about those long home run hits
observes one of the grfzzled ball fans.
why, those hits of Hickman's, far as l
can learn, were just pokes compared to
| some hits I saw in the old days, when BAH
players really knew how to play ball.
| when they weren't little jumping Jack runts
| like they are nowadays. but big, full grown
men that were there with the clouts all
| the time Why, say, I saw Dan Brouthers
| of the old Detroit club paste one once that
sailed so high over the top OF the fence
| that"
"Ye-eh. anybody could hit those easy
ones that the pitchers Of his day Iobbed
| over interrupts a younger fan, who OBJ
viously believed in the superior prowess
OF the ball player OF today. I'D like to
see Brouthers and the rest of the big four
| bunch of the old Detroit nine stack up
| against some of these pitchers that are
working todaY-thats what I would
bet theyd saw more gashes In the atmos-
phere than they'd get punk little Texas
| 1eaguers."
This argument to the merits of the old
and the present-day ball players starts one
| OF the old-time horse bugs a-going along
| the same line.
What the old buddy says about the old
time ball players goes about the oId-time
horses. too he cuts in, addressing his
| pony playing group. ITO hear 'em talking
about that Sysonby horse that died the
other day you'd think he was a sure-enough
| good horse! Huh. Ia be willing to lay 10
to that Hanover could ha run eighteen
| different kinds OF smoke-rings around Sy-
| sonby doing anything from a Jump to four
| miles. and when 1t comes to sprint why
| Salvador or Domino could ha' made this
Roseben counterfeit that they're Dragging
| about much look like a park squirrel
with a couple of sprained ankles"
''Yeh, and I suppose stage coaches were
| a hull lot faster than the Empire State
| express Is too" cuts IN one of the younger
horse bugs. you old them-was-t DAYS
yappers give me the fan-tods. Everything
| that happened in the world away back
yonder before the Seminole war was all
| the mustard. according to the way you old
| gimpers put it. Maybe Hanover was some
! horse-Im not saying that he wasn't-but
| I'd Just like to see him and Sysonby hook
up at mile and quarter If they were
| both alive. Why, Sysonby wouldve -js,st
| gone away and hid from all the Hanoyers
| and Salvatore and Dominos and Tennys
and Lamplighters and Tournaments and
| Troubadors that ever bit into stall post.
He'd just"
| And thus the horse argument wakes at
the same time the argument about the
| relative merits of the old and the new ball
player Is on, and the din is something ap-
palling Those who are engaged in tho
most acrid recrimsnation are treating each
other all the. time argument is to about
| everything IN the place, although the lay
| men, unused to the argumentations of this