The Washington herald., 1906-11-26
THE ORACLE.
Advice to Man Who Married.

The Woman-who-didn' 'tsmarry pulled the
short sleeves OF her jacket over her t0sy
elbows and resumed the conversation with
her second bite Of club sandwich. The
Man-Who-did from his side of the table.
listened and put in an occasional word Of
detection agreement.
The trouble with you married men,"
said the Oracle. is that you indulge your
wives so much that they turn out to be
spoiled children. All the married women
know take their husbands as much for
granted as their daily bread"
That's true said the man.
It's a nice. hot morning roll for man
to play, isn't it?" snapped the oracle,
( and you let your wives gobble you down
and worry the manhood out of you with
out so much as a protest Your very
silence is just like butter spread thick
enough TO make a hot roll slip down easy.
Oush, but I'd Ike to give some Of these
spoiled wives a jolt that would scare
them out OF their vaoOTy petulanceN'
What's wrong with US all, anyway
Queried the Married Man
We'll, you men are little to blame in
being too uniformly kind. but the fault is
| largely with your wives. who are unable
90 bear - under q daily burden Of affec-
tiOn. II pals on them. and when idle
women become dOmesucaIly bored. there's
no limit TO what they'll say and DO. You
husbands haven't noticed il. I suppose.
but 1t has come 20 be the fashion lately
for wives 10 disparage their husbands. At
wOmcu's lIncheoUs half the smart talk is
at the husbands expense. Fashionable
women have adopted a pose Of martyrdom
I that is perfectly ridiculous under the cir
/ |cumstauces. They imagine they have con-
| husbands in giving Themselves over 10
their care, and support, and indulgence %
/ The dickens they have." calculated the
I Married Nan.
Now. don't suppose for one moment
that they really mean al they say about
/ the mon0tony Of marriage, and the utter
/ boredom Of dining cD familie and the gen
eral lack Of excitement attendant upon
/ the state of matrimony They wouldn {
/ be unmarried for worlds To Is only taat
/ they Ike TO create the impression that If
/ they happened to he free. they would. and
could. execute mighty fins. and because
/ they desist. their husbands are fraudu-
/ Iently deDriyiug them Of one of the sweet
! est privileges Of the sex. Ten wives out
( OF a dozen have an idea that their hus-
/ bands do not appreciate what lot Of
/ temptation they overcome in refraininE
/ from dizzy firtaticns with other men.
don't believe married wOmeu-like unmar-
/ ried ones-helieve in virtue for virtue S
/ sake; they draw the lire ai daring deeds
only To glory in seIf-sacriice and retain
their boastfuI attitude of angelh0Od.
1 once q wife has beaten Il into her hus-
/ bands head that countless other men are
/ despairingly in love with her, he begins
10 have q snealdng feeling that he doesn {
/ really deserve his wife's unsclfiSh devO-
| tiu1, and he wonders If he is worth all
/ that she has foreEOne in marrying him.
| When a man gets TO that point. ne ac-
quiTeS a hanE-dOg look that is going. 10
tame him, and in the end, to a decidedly
miserable state of being He is bound 10
be looked down upon, and hen-pecked and
| purse-puIled worse than ever"
How did you happen to get so well
acquainted with my wife?" asked the
Married Man.
"Oh. we don't belong to the same Bridge
| Club for nothing explained the Oracle
| "and besides we are on the same hos
pital board. and 60 about in the same set
Do you think ! haven't eyes and ears
| But / am not talking about your wife in
/ particular. I'm referring to all the
| young married women I know. at least
all the goOd looking ones who are said to
ue Nell-lllaIIleu, ana WHO ron ABOUT IN
! electrics and spend lots Of money"
But an American would feel like a cad
if he wasn't good to his wife" expostu-
lated the man
Being good to n person is open to sew
eral interpretations. I've yet to see q
1 pretty women to whom IS given carte
| blanche means anything but being bad
in the end. A plain woman doesn't lose
| her head like a pretty one under pros
perity. But tell YOU a pretty woman
once she is given free rein, drives hersel1
into a rUinoUs state of character. She
runs over big rocks of chance, but she
keeps a chip on her shoulder for he1
I husband all the same. She wears it as
a general wears his epaulets. merely tC
show her rank-I might say. her rank in
gratitude for her undeserved good for
tune
! The n-whO-didn't-marry looked
mildly vicious, and the AIan-who-diC
leaned across the table and inquired ear
nestly:
Would you and 7 have made such q
mess of things If we h9d patched up tha
old quarrel years ago and acted as Oul
parents expected us tor
Il can't speak for you" replied tn,
Oracle. calmly forlling a piece Of chicken
but I congratulate myself every da]
that m1tTimOny never ruined my ChaTaC
ter. There isn't a man living for whom
would exchange my moral righteous
{ ness"
But matrim0ny is moral put in IL,
Married Man.
NO. it isn't" disagreed the Oracle. ii
) wealthy families matrirnony is just
= comfortable blanket which a woman
hugs around her against the chill of ne
. husbands disapp~ovaL Directly a MAJ
b puts in word of domestic criticism, ~
goes the blanket about her ears. If yol
call it moral for a woman 10 marry
man and then act ike a greedy little pi:
= IN getting ali the petting and pretC
clothes and jewels and general spoilinl
out Of him that she can. why YOU and
= have different ideas of morality. That j
J / an exploded notion about wives bein
: helpmates to their husbands It OIL
happens in the lower classes. and wher