Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-24

single kopeck,' = and the bearded won
an came back and swatted the claim
agent for calling her fellow. !. So
they compromised on 5000, and she
went behind the haystack and put it
in her stocking, which convinced the
claim agent that she wasn't a man.
A near-sighted claim agent came to
the haystack where the fat woman
was, and the boss told her now was
her time to have a. mess Of Mysteries,
so she set up a cry that scared the
agent, who thought there were at
least six women ON the haystack,
and he said: What will all you peo-
pie up there on the haystack settle
for in a lump, for am in a hurry?"
The fat woman caught on at once,
and said: eve will all settle for $780,
000." Then she yelled, and the agent
thought <.her back was broke, and he
offered $500; and She cried and said:.
Make it S10,000," and the agent said:
II will go you," and he made out a
check, and the fat woman had some
more Mysteries.
had watched the settling all
around, and told pa to be deaf ana
dumb when they came to him, and
jrst Ecint to the seat CT his pants in
front and buttoned up behind, and
look as though he was suffering the
fortunes Of the inquisition. and let me
/ 20 the talking, and would make the
OLD railroad go into a receivers hands.
So pa said: you are the boss" and
he looked SC pitiful that l almost
cried.
When the near-sighted claim agent
came to pa, I told him that pas last
the man looked at pas pants, and then
at his face, and said: What hit him
That's the worst case I ever saw in
railroad wreck"
I put my handkerchief to my eyes
! and said: well, when the shock came,
pa was all right, as handsome a man
| as you would often see. I think there
must have been pile driver on the
train that struck him, and changed
sides witt him, knocking his stomach
around on the back side of him, and
placing his spinal column around in
front of him, where his stomach was
! and causing him to lose the sense OF
speech. Think of a niddle-aged man
going through life mixed up in that
manner, having to sit down CT his
stomach, and having his backbone star
| ing him in the face. How does he
! know when he takes food in his mouth
| that it can corkscrew itself around
under his arm, and eventually find his
! stomach? How man can be ground
and twisted, and mauled and stamped
! on by a reckless locomotive with q
crazy engineer and drunken fireman
rolled over by box cars. and walked
on by elephants, and still live, is
beyond me. AS he told me before he
lost the power of speech, not to be toe
hard on the railroad company, though
some railroads would be glad to pa;
him $4,000. and no questions asked
he begged me, as heir to his estate, tc
let you off for a paltry $4,000
Pa made up the darndest face, ant
groaned. The agent called anothe:
agent, and they whispered together
ana finally the first one came to M
and asked pas full name, and the1
the two of them got out a fountain
pen, and they made out a check, anc
ne said: "This is the first case in The
history of railroad wrecking that the
agent has not had the heart to try te
beat the injured party down. This
is certainly the most pitiful case tina
has ever been known, and if your ia
Their ever comes to his senses you cal
iell him he is welcome to the money
Gee, but there is all kinds of none,
in the circus business. Pa is goln<
to wear his pants hind side before I'm
til we get out of Pittsburg.