The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1906-04-26
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what in the world is the matter
with you, Henry?" queried Ma Jones
with a look of establishment, as the
genial head Of the Jones Family sud
denly threw down his paper, peeled of
his coat, and started to roll up his
sleeves. "Have you got 'em again, OF
Is 1t just one of your regular attacks
Of everyday idiocy? What do you SEE
this time? Do they wriggle like spa
ghetti or waltz like pink alligators I
Shall l get you some cracked Ice, OF
would you prefer a straight jacket,
Shall -"
"Silence, madame! Silence, WON
am Numbered Pa, In a commanding
tone, What do you mean by sucI
SANDER? How dare you make such q
serious accusation? How dare you cast
asperslon on the fair name Of one who
has been rallying around the reservoir
ever since the first Of the year?
want you to distinctly understand thai
lips that touch cough cure can never
touch mine! 1 want you to distinctly
that = ~ an dIuellI OIScI-
pie Of the water faith. I want you
But, Henry" interposed Ma, not at
all frightened at Pas savage glare.
you are acting 30 funny! You are
acting SO much Ike a Jones. You look
just like you did the night you thought
you had Gov horns and crawled
around on all tours trying to hook lit.
tie Fido! What asitates you, anyway +!
What are you going to do? what
what am l going to do. Mrs,
Jones? What am l going to do, sweet
hearth" yelped Pa, in a loudsome voice.
as he contemporary glanced at the
newspaper. What do you D I
am going to do? What would any emf.
nent citizen do when he wakes wroth
over the ~new-fangled recipes that the
editorial geezers are now soaking in
the cook page? What would any loyal
hearted patriot do when he sees the
good old customs Of long ago distorted
like a monkey face. In a cheap side
show? Do you think that / am going
to sit here and read that stuff without
emitting a protesting yelp? Do you
imagine for n moment hat l am go
Ing to stand for such modern concoc-
lions as long as 1 can raise my hoof
In a strenuous kick? Not on your life,
lovey-dovey! Not on your life! | am
going to show these yaps how to make
fudge. l am"
MAKE fudge" exclaimed the har-
poonful Ma, in scrapful accents. what
does an old quawk like you know about
making fudge? Who ever accused you
Of being sweet enough to cook candy?
l don't believe that you"
what are you talking about madam?
What are you talking about?" inter-
Jected the barkful Pa. looking wild
eyed at his little Mary. What are you
trying to spout? | suppose you think
that | don't know anything about
fudge? l suppose you think that the
only real c~andymakers on earth are the
esteemed Smiths. But there is where
you guess again. Mrs. Jones There Is
where you guess again. / want to tell
you right here that / know all about
the candy game from the planting Of
the sugar cane to the heart pangs of
the poor dude who has to buy it! |
want you TO get wise to the fact that l
not only fried fudge in my boyhood
days, hat also served an apprenticeship
in FASTING taffy on the sticks. 1 want
"For mercy's sake forget it, you
squeaky heather !" interrupted Ma, pet
ulantly. Talk about something else,
Chlrp about your famous ancestors.
Tell me what a wonder you are! Sing
Il ove again to me. Shout the