Los Angeles herald., 1906-02-02
HUMOR|STS WIN
SMILES AND TEARS
JEROME STRIKES KEYNOTE OF
W0MAN'S WAYS
Loomis, Of Funereal Mien, Seconds the
Efforts Of His English Colleague
in Recitlng Delightful
Nonsense

Distinctive American and typical
English humor were exempliied last
evening at Blanchard hall before
fair sized audience when Jerome x.
Jerome and Charles Battell Loomis
read excerpts from their books to
delighted and appreciative audience.
Perhaps the distinction between
English wit and American humor
could be emphasized in no more strik
ing manner than by having Jerome and
Loomis speak to the same audience in
the same evening.
Jerome possesses that rare quality of
being droll, while Loomis is quite un
reservedly funny. Jeromes huinor is
dry and keen and is enjoyed with
chuckle, while Loomis arouses to up
roarious laughter.
jerome spoke at the beginning and
end of the program, while Loomis oc-
cupied the midsection, so to speak.
The program opened with an essay
TO describe the arts and wiles of
woman in her ways end means of be-
coming and remaining beautiful.
Mr., jerome said in part: ''In a few
years there will be no pretty women.
A startling statement, but one that is
undenlably true.
May Have Sounded Funny
"The reason is quite plain. There
. will be no pretty women because there
will be no plain ones and it will there
fore be impossible to tell if she be
pretty or otherwise.
"This is to be accomplished in rather
singular manner. All these women
and girls will attend a school where
beauty may be acquired for the ask
ing.
"A girl sent testimonial to the pro-
fessor of the school in which she said:
Dear Professor: one month ago when
! looked in the glass | cried now when
I gaze at my reflection 1 laugh
after 1 had seen the girl in ques-
tion / decided that the emotions which
had prompted both of the manifesta-
tions were entirely justifiable. l should
have cried and laughed myself.
But speaking quite seriously, a
young woman after falling in love with
some estimable young man naturally
wishes TO be his ideal in looks Ac
cordingly she hies herself to the school
and tells the professor just what she
wants. Whether she wants to look
pleasing or intelligent, and if she wants
to have the melting blue eyes which
will seem to say to her beloved, oh,
George, take me in your arms and calm
these foolish fears Whether she wants
to have the strong, firm jaw and sweet
mouth of the naturally maternal
woman or the rosebud mouth and dim
pea cnln OF U1e coy IldluPD. "A Cell
cate creamy complexion that will go
well with any\dress can be hers for the
asking. Any variety or combination of
looks can be had by the young woman
of the future"
Talks of Shoppers Weakness
Mr.. Jeromes next selection was a de-
scription of the troubles endured by
young man who tried to go through
Germany with knowledge Of the lam
guage gained solely from a German
English conversation book.
Much INSTRUMENTATION in regard to
the laws and police of Germany was
freely given to his audience by Je-
rome.
His most amusing and clever selec-
tion was entitled Ladies Shopping.
AT the. beginning of the sketch Mr..
Jerome said that he had seen ladies
who told him of ladies to whom the
sketch would apply. 1t told of the trials
endured by a friend of an undecided
woman when accompanying the latter
on a shopping expedition.
The struggle which was shown by
Mr. Jerome as existing in the mind
of the undecided one whether she
should choose pink or gray for her
dress was really a study in feminine
psychology
The latter part of the program for
which Mr.. Jerome was responsible was
devoted to much the same sort of thing
with the exception of very pretty
description of Il family of three, the
father and mother and young son, GO
ing for the first time to the theater.
In addition there were two sketches,
one of which contained an element of
pathos. but the other was genuinely
pathetic and that it rang true could
be told by the behavior of the audi
ence,
Loomis Looks Sad
The entrance made by Mr.. Loomis
was funnier than anything he said.
Funeral is gay word when search
appearance of Mr.. Loomis Sudden
death of a loved one, terrible financial
losses, or seaSickness might be sutfi-
cient in ordinary cases to cause sucn
down in the mouth expression as
was assumed by Mr.. Loomis, but one
instnctively felt that there certainly
must be some hidden sorrow to cause
the utterly depressed look worn by
the writer of many of the gayest
things in American letters
The speakers first words did much
to confirm the initial impression. He
said my first selection will be found
on page seven" in exactly the tone
which some old ministers use.
After a short silence, during which
Mr.. Loomis surveyed the audience,
still with that graveyard look, one
found oneself wondering why the choir
didn't come in in the right place after
the lesson was announced.
After he began to talk however,
the ministerial illusion was entirely
dispelled. Fun which could be under
stood by ALL real, bright, clever witt
ness was the force which brought the
ripple of laughter which followed al
most every pause made by the speaker.
Audience Is Delighted
A delicious bit of Irish nonsense was
the first of the readings and in rapid
succession followed "rhe Gusher,"
description, of the sort of young lady
one meets at afternoon teas.