Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-10-02
Humorous department.
A Black Art Experience.

uncle Bentley WIS the llOSl OLhSiouo
man in Hawleyburg. II you left your
front gate ajar so that the dog could
come in, Uncle Bentley was sure to
come doddering along and latch 1t. If
you went down town with your old
umbrella--the one the unknown scoun-
drel left who took yours-and were
carrying 1t under your arm and hop
ing 1t wouldn't rain, Uncle Bently was
certain to come up with his HE, he,
my boy; new umbrelr, hey?" and take
II away from you and open 1t, and dis
play its holes In the sight Of all. When
the president passed through town, and
stepped out on the station platform to
shake hands with the leading citizens,
Uncle Bentley was in the forefront,
grinning like Chinaman. and got hold
of the executives hand and pumped
it up and down, and inquired after his
folks, and told him about the crops, till
the train started. There were some
rather unchristion things said about
Uncle Bentley on this occasion, but he
was around the next day more clipper
than ever. getting in the way, and do
ing that which he should have left un-
done.
One day Ponsoni, the celebrated pres
tidigitator, came to town, in fulfillment
of the promises of both large and small
bills to give a grand exhibition Of con-
juring and revelation Of the black art.
The performance was in the opera
house." Everybody went, but the ear
hest comers found Uncle Bentley occu-
pying a front seat. 1t was generally
thought that he had stayed after the
appearance of some home talent the
night before, and was locked In all day,
subsisting on bottled cold coffee and
pocketed sandwiches. The curtain didn't
go up on time. and at the end OF
twenty minutes Of waiting, Signor Pom
soni came out in great agitation. His
assistant had been taken suddenly I'LL.
Would some one kindly volunteer to
Uncle Bentley shot up like man COM
ing out of a volcano. They disappeared
together
In Ave minutes they came on the
stage. Uncle Bentley was looking very
queer. He had on a funny pink satin
coat and high yellow silk hat. and his
features seemed strange and unnatur-
al, as If he was trying to suppress
some mighty secret. The signor seat
ed him in a chair facing the audience,
and then advanced and said:
Ladies and gentlemens-Wiz your
kind pier mission, and re assistant Of
Meester Bunkley, I will now perform
my celebrated egg treeck, to be follow
ed by re rabbeet treeck, ze-" He had
been looking out into the wings nerv-
ously, and broke Off with, "Pardong
one minute" and vanished, leaving I'm
Gle Bentley sitting like an Egyptian
image struggling with that within.
One minute, two minutes elapsed,
but the signor did not come back. I'm
Gle Bentley remained fixed, rigid, gaz-
ing straight ahead with round. CLASSY
eyes. Five minutes passed, Uncle Bent
ley frozen in position, goggling: straight
ahead. Ten minutes-no disciple Of
the blackart; Uncle Bentley still ia
bleauing as the Everlasting Hills. The
audience began to get impatient. 'Nev-
mind the Eyetalian-go ahead, uncle" :"
shouted somebody. "Give your part Of
the celebrated egg treeck," called an
other Wade in. old mani" shouted a
third.
At this instant the skirt Of Uncle
Bentley's queer coat was observed to
be in state OF agitation, and white
rabbit jumped out and went hopping
across the stage. Uncle Bentley was
seen to revolve one eyeball the merest
trife as he watched the rabbit. The
little creature stopped, and a cat which
had been lurking in the wings darted
for 1t. This was too much for Uncle
Bentley; he jumped up and went for
the cat. He got her by the tail as she
was actually in the air descending on
the rabbit. She turned with a startling
yowl and struck at his hand. He sat
back solidly on the floor. There was
q strange scrunching sound. Rabbits
began to boil up out of the old gen.
tleman everywhere. The cat jumped
over tire footlight, lit on the snare
drum and went up the center aisle,
waving a tail like the broom Of a
street-sweeping machine. There SEEM
ed to be no end Of those rabbits; they
came out Of every pocket, and he ap-
peared to be mostly pockets. Then a
white dove struggled up from the back
Of his neck and knocked off his high
hat, and five or six bushels Of red pa
per flowers foamed out Of 1t, and bur-
led Uncle Bentley, leaving only his
head visible. On this the dove finally
roasted, while the rabbits sat around
with their ears high, half scared to
death over the cat. Still Uncle Bentley
spoke not q word. But now his lips
were seen to be open, and glimpse Of
white was detected. He's got an egg
In his mouth" cried somebody. 60
ahead-ze eg treeck!" yelled another.
"Um, yum," said Uncle Bentley, prying
at the egg with his fingers gingerly.
Take 1t out!" Swallow it," Palm
it," Change it into silver dollar!"
was some of the advice Of friends in
the audience. Uncle Bentley worked
at 1t cautiously, only remarking. "Um,
yum" Suddenly his jaw closed fierce
ly, regardless of everything. and he
leaped up with a smothered groan,
throwing flowers and rabbits like
spray. tore open his bright satin vest
and hauled out a dripping fiat glass
vessel, while a displaced rubber cover
and dozen gold fish slid to the floor.
The audience shouted, and several
friends rushed on the stage. One kind
hearted woman remembered the rab-
bit which Uncle Bentley had seemingly
sat down upon In his coat-tail pocket.
1t proved to have been two dozen eggs,
however.
moment later the signor returned.
1t had been the sheriff attaching the
box Office receipts at the instance of
his unpaid assistant, "suddenly-ill,"
which had taken him away.-Harper's
MAGAZINE