The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-09-23
new FOREST RANGER
VICTIM Of JOKE
Letter From Supervisor Was
Too Much for Officer, Who
Wanted to Quit.
INSTRUCTED TO CLIMB
ALL TREES ON RESERVE
Directed to Inspect Each and
Every Animal Every Week,
and Count Ticks.

good story is going the rounds of
the Federal building on q ranger who
Is connected with the Logan Forest
reserve. Tho supervisor in charge Of
the reserve is an old Scotch doctor,
a man who is OF very serious meln,
and an individual who never perpe-
trates joke-only sometimes. A new
ranger was put on duty. and letter
OF instruc tions was mailed him by the
supervisor. In it the following in
structions were given TO the new man:
What the Orders Were.
ut shall be part of your duty to climb
each and every pine tree IN the reserve,
make a close inspection of the dcvasta-
ton. II any. created by the worms In the
cones Also report the number OF worms
1t work In the reserve. as we'll rs the
number killed by you each day.
"It shall be part OF your duty to
inspect each md every head OF cattle
aud horses in the reserve at least once
a week. making a report OF all contagious
diseases and OF the number OF TICKS
found on any and all animals within the
limits of the Logan reserve. Also make
q report OF the number OF ticks killed by
you each day. and the manner OF destruc-
tion.
1T shall be a further part OF your
duty to kill all rattlesnakes, vermln,
anything OF a dangerous or pestlferous
nature. Within the limits OF the reserve.
The plan of action In the destruction OF
the snakes shall be followed out as herein
prescribed: Find the snake. follow IT 20
it's hole. sit by the hole until the
snake appears, take strong pair OF
pinchers. with which you shall have
previously provided yourself. and when
the snake crawls from It's lair, grasp II
firmly by the tail with the pinchers, and
with a sharp pen-knifa sever Its head.
The body must not be nlutilated, and the
tall must be torn by contact with the
pinchers.
"a further part of your duty shall be
20 report the number OF snake ege5 laid
In your district each week. and the mum
Der estroyed by you in your rounds.
ut shall be a further part OF your
duty TO inspect the teeth OF each and
every animal. including vicious dogs.
within the limits OF the Logan forest
reserve and to report any decay that
you may find This must be done at least
once a week.
This Will be your instructions until
further work Is laid out. at which time
you Will be given additional duties TO
perform. All reports. unless specified as
weekly, shall be turned In to this Office
not later than the first Tuesday OF each
month, and all reports must be In detail.
wanted TO quit.
Nothing was heard from the new
ranger for several days, until
he turned up suddenly the other after
noon at the Office of the supervisor.
He entered the Office with a long face
and after seating himself and heaving
q long sigh, he said in answer to the
query of the supervisor as to his visit
and the reason for it; "I've come
down TO quit. But why do you want
to quit, you have an easy thing Of it,
with but little to do and plenty of time
in which TO do it?' returned the super
wiser, never letting a smile show on his
supervisor for full minute, his face
took on a purplish red, and he finally
burst out: Z" Easy Easy. Why, Mr..
Supervisor, there amt no d-n man
in this hyar country as kud kerry them
orders out m quit, an ye kin git
some durn fool what s activer n ME t.
do all that fer tn money"
After hearty laugh, side-splitter,
q laugh that loosened the muscles OF
his ribs and made, him put on three
pounds of flesh, the supervisor, with
tears streaming down his checks and,
every once in a while breaking out into
a roar, at length explained to the ran
ger that the letter was only a joke. The
ranger looked at the supervisor for
about two minutes as if he were going
to get mad and do things, then, as an
understanding of what the supervisor
had said slowly filtered through his
bewildered brain, the ranger threw his
hat to the ceiling and let out shout
that startled the natives, He grabbed
the supervisor hand, gave it wrench
that made that joking official vince, and
as he disappeared out Of the office
yelled back: Goodbye, Supervisor,
m goin back to work.