Bisbee daily review., 1906-07-08
SHAKESPEARE
 DOWN TO DATE
Modern TranslationS of the Bard of Ayon'S Historic
 Masterpieces.
W.-TWELFTH NIGHT.
(By Strickland W. Gilillan1

Illyria. When the waves had shut OH a large per cent of their steam and clouds were breaking away, a bare footed commodore, who was rummag- ing among the driftwood for a new battle ship, saw drabbled girl drying her petticoaIs in the sun.
 That's a great piece of fIotsam," re- marked the sailormSn to himself. T didn't know which way was walk ing, but know now"
 So he sauntered over that way and heard the girl say:
 What country, friends, is this?'
 There were some sailors around. but of course. the commodire outranked them, and did all the talking. He told her where she was, the name O. the ward boss, where the postoffice anu drug store were, the nearest trolley station, which store gave the most trading stamps, and what day the Riarked-down sale usually was.
 Who's doing the duling for you now?" she asked.
 "Orsino. Two attempts have been made to have him removed. Our Con gressman has had three petitions, each containing the names of more people than live in the district. But Orsy seems to have a cinch of the leaden tubular variety, and we suspect he must know something we don't know about our Representative. He dukes right en-"
 Why, even in the country where live I've heard my pa speak of this man Orsino. Pa said he was a bach {, 1gt T.. rIps make life a large, succulent tapioca for some able-bodied girl. Am I right?"
 Perfectly. And he's in the same happy fix yet. Wouldn't it jar you?"
 This girl stated that the name was Viola, took a fresh hold on her gum, patted her pompadour, felt to see If her placket was gaping, ana sad:
 Say, admiral, I've got a scheme. Nobody in all this bunch of country knows me. I butted in by water last night. l started in on Slocum life preserver, when the ship went into voluntary bankruptcy. My brother went one way and me the other, and so far as each of us in concerned the other is drowned. He was hugging rolling pin or some other sort of house- hold goods at his last appearance, and I had plush album for mine. Find ing that l couldn't save both the life preserver and the family album, I let the former sink and swan ashore on the latter. First time I ever went much on my relatives. Now, my scheme is to get job as hired man at the dukes house, and get wise enough to him and his ways 10 cop him out for husband. am a strong, willing girl of marriageable age, though I won't be much longer. I'll put on some boys clothes and ask for a job. You look like a close-mouthed guy, and bet you won't tell. Is it a go?"
 She chucked him under the chin, and what could he do It had to be as she said; for the commodore could not help noticing as her hair dried and the mollusks were brushed out of her eyebrows, that she would be keen locker if she hadn't just been in swimming.
 'Is the duke man sweet on any skirt at the present writing?" asked the busy girl from behind the sand dune, where she was changing into a Peter Pan suit
 He is abundantly, extensively and eiaborately stung by a girl named Olivia. Her father was some swell in the neighborhood, and when he cashed he left his job to his boy. The boy quit paying board not long after, and Liv has been so out of fix over it since that she says she won't even look at man. Of course, that makes Orsy worse, and he keeps her hitching post worn with Hts horses halter strap. But nothing doing"
 Gee. ain't she the keen one," con- Inented Vi, who knew a goou pIece or gco-goo work when she saw it, and would lay aside professional jealousy any time to admire it.
 So up to the Orsino doorbell went Vi, and asked for job. She sang the duke a few popular airs, concluding with that touching thing, Meet Me in Du-buquie, Dulxie," which was then in vogue. There was something about this new boy that was different, though the duke didn't get wise even for a minute as to what it was. The boy talked nice and had lot of little tricks that were all to the very we'll So he got hired right away.
 About the first thing Vi was assigned to. as confidential secretary to the boss, was to get up some sort of com with this exclusive Olivia girl Vi winked at herself and started or her errand of mercy with Orsy's | letter in large valise When she got to Liv's place she was given the usual noe at home story, but it didn't B. down. Vi just brushed off her trousers and planted them on the top step to wait. She had brought a few yellow backs along and could finger very comfortably, thanks.
 Well. what do you think of that" said Liy, when the flunkey reported the new stoop ornament
 When Liv had got the third porch bulletin and learned that the messen- ger from Orsy was eating his lunch there. using the rainwater barrel for a and wiping his hands on the morning glories. she said:
 Well, Orsy sure is in earnest by this time. I'm getting him right