The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1906-04-27
TALES AND ENDS.
WRITTEN FOR THE MIDLAND JOURNAL.
BY ALLEN PAYNE.

1t doesn't take bald headed politicion to be
fond of the ballet.
1t doesn't suit man to be sued for unpaid
bill of suede slippers.
The hot air some men give you is nothing more
than pipe dream.
Even the non-church member in committing
suicide sometimes shoots himself in the temple
Inbred folks are the chaff OF life.
Even a vegetarian can be small potato.
The fellow that's all smiles often gives you the
laugh.
Most everyone takes stand for prosperity, but
there are lots of mortals who are not able to
stand prosperity.
Children should not be allowed to play with
those who have the hopping cough.
Beer drinking often leads one to the bier.
According to reports Teddy does not admire the
birth rate, but he says nothing in regard to the
berth rate.
Some men wouldn't hang their ten dollar hat
on ten penny nail but they'd make ten cent
dude look like thirty cents
If salt will kill the nerve in ones jaw, what
will it take to kill the gall.
The treasurer of theatrical company has a
good chance to take it all in.
The face of a watch dog won't always tell you
when it's time to get.
The wheels In ones head have nothing to do
with the turning point in ones life.
There are lot of new styles of corsets on the
market and from all appearances have come to
stay.
The man who is at sea regarding certain mat
tiers is often compelled to take water.
Corn would be suitable to plant in the corners
of the fields.
The wagon might have spoke, if it wasn't too
tired for a driver always likes his wagon to talk
Many bad fall has been had in the spring house.
The farmers son always wants the colt when
the draught mare gets little hoarse.
It's poor farmer who has to cur tail expences
to pay dog tax.
bee don't care much for the brush by the road
side, still it uses comb in making honey
1t takes the angry farmer to rail.
There are plenty of moneyed men in this world,
but the most moneyed woman is Miss Liberty.
1t isn't only the man with the large ears that's
cratic.
The inventor of patent tobacco pipe is often
an inveterate cigarette smoker.
Many short man has high ambition.
The manner in which some Bostonians walk
you can't tell whether they are common" or
going
Some men who do their counting before mar
riage take it to higher court afterward.
When you see a property advertised and the
whole expences given as so much, you can depend
upon it that the purchaser will go in the hole for
great deal more.
Some crane drawings are birds.
Every soda fountain is fzzle.
Some dress goods are beautifully figured. Also
the price.
Even nature forms bluff in making rock
A foot makes ruler in the schools.
It's not every snake that gets ratified.
An old newspaper discolored with age is of the
yellow journal type.
The overbearing man is seldom underestimate
when called fool.
hen pecked husband will be glad to shed his
blood for the sake of his country while the chick
will be sorry to lose his blood in the wood shed
for the sake of company.
The man who makes light of some things often
looks darby.
Some men can distill better whiskey than they
can distill good common sense in their children.
Under the trees that bear the fruit we find the
apples lion.
It's a poor tar heal who will allow himself to
be worked up to an excitable pitch.
A cast in moulder's eye don't cause him to
make die of it.
Even the sea lion has whale.
A boat may be ''she," but the length of its
"over-alls" is always recorded.
A fish has no education, still he travels in
schools all his life.
A puppy would make bad dog watch ON
collier.
The lines of the new battleships are very severe
That accounts tor the stern of the boat
After all the old Civil War gun had its good
points.
The American guns are great bore to other
nations
The muzzle OF gun will muzzle dog forever.