Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1906-06-15
A Serpent in Eden.

1t was only after several months
enlargement and his solemn assur-
ance never again to dabble in ex-
plosives that l consented to become
reconciled to Jipson. No one can
justly accuse me of an unforgiving or
malace- bearing disposition, but really
that fog-signal affair so shattered my
nerves and faith in the inventors
actual sanity that it took all the tact
and persuasiOns Of our respective
wives to reestablish amicable rela-
tons between us. The two ladies
have long been on affectiOnately in
innate terms, but with Jipson and me
at loggerheads the customary fire.
quent exchange of inequalities neces-
sarily received a check; in fact, l
don't mind admitting that | was not
altogether uninfiuenced by this aspect
of the regrettable squabble. Jipson's
wines are really unexceptionable, and
his cook a treasure.
For some time after the restora-
ton of peace, l was, of course, very
much on my guard; but as the weeks
never even mentioned the word in
vention I was gradually lulled into
feeling of pleasing security, and
actually began to congratulate myself
that he had taken the last severe
lesson to heart, and perhaps altogether
abandoned his foolish, expensive and
| fruitless experiments.
| was strengthened in this belief
| by the keen interest he appeared to
have suddenly developed in garden
| ing. Now l am not little proud Of
my own knowledge of this subject,
and the modest acre of graund at "The
Willows" is my pet hobby, my lawn
and flowers the delight of my heart.
and the envy and admiration of the
whole neighbOrhoOd. l therefore re-
| joiced greatly at Jipson's newly
| ened interest in matters horticultural,
for therein, l hoped to lay the way
| to his salvation.
For some years, it has been my GUS
tom to give garden party in mid
| June, when the majority of my flow
ers are at their best Usually, too,
| take a brief holiday just before the
event in order to help my man put
everything into apple-pie order. Great
was my annoyance therefore at the
unexpected protraction of a business
visit to Scotland, which detained me
in the north until a couple of days
before the date of what had promised
to prove the most successful of our
enjoyable al fresco gatherings.
1t was too dark to see how the gar
den looked when 1 finally returned
home, but my wife's replies to my
anxious inquiries were far from reas.
surfing. Everything, it appeared, had
| gone well up to that very morning,
when quite suddenly the lawn had
begun to look rather poorly and the
roses and plants in the herbaceous
borders to droop in manner for
which our man, Jobson, was puzzled
to account, except on the supposition
that the recent thundery weather had
affected them.
| l was up soon after dawn, scrambled
into few clothes and hurried down
into the garden. Never, never shall
l forget the scene of utter ruin and
destruction that met my Mortified
gaze. The lawn, that once beautiful
expanse of close cropped emerald
sward, was covered with hideous
brown patches of rapidly rotting
grass; the rose trees, my rare and
glorious rose trees, had not bloom
upon them that was not hOpelessly
withered or showing active symptoms
Of decay, and the same awful havoc
was plainly manifest in the flower
beds, where ANIMALS, perennials, and
even hardy shrubs, were stricken with
the same mysterious sickness. The
whole garden was, In fact, irretriev-
ably blighted and 1 soon fled the
heartrending spectacle in state of
mind verging very near to insanity.
1t vas hours before 1 was calm enough
to choke down some breakfast, give
orders to put off the garden party and
rush off to the city, half-closing my
eyes as I went down the path to avoid
the painful sight of my ruined Eden.
I never even saw Jipson on the
platform until he clapped me on the
shoulder. Under the circumstances
his rather boisterous: well, old
chap, how does the garden grow"
naturally added fuel to my fury, but
there was a subtle something in the
tone Of the inquiry that awakened a
sudden indefnable suspicion, and
| mo RI c{fcco,obla
"Never BETTER" l lied, as cheerfully
as I could; impossible to look more
blooming. Everything's come on
most surprisingly the last few days"
His face flushed with excitement as
7 answered.; the old well-remembered
look of triumphant self-confidence and
vanity lit his eyes. "In that case" ho
said, 'Pll let you into a secret I'd in,
tended to keep till the day of the
party; you owe whatever Improvement
has taken place in your garden to
mel"
"To you?" I dneried, with a DIES.
perate effort to control my emotion.
Eyes, to me-" he repeated, tri-
umphantly. For several months past
| have devoted myself patiently to an
exhaustive research into the subject
of artificial manures, and-well-not
to trouble you with details, the result
of my laborious Investigations and ex-
periments is the original chemical
compound with which 1 took the ia
vorable opportunity of literally
sprinkling your garden when Amy
and l went over there the other even
ing. Congratulate me, you usually
discouraging old sceptic, confess that
I've justified my devotion to science
at last. Jipson's Magic Fertilizer will
effect nothing less than a revolution
In agriculture, and yours shall be the
honor of giving the first testimonial"
And I let him have it then and
there, but 1t was eouched in language
that is certainly not fit for publica.
ton.