The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-11-04

| me. one full meal Woulu mean tne
ambulance and the hospital. l might
possibly come out alive but the
chances are only one In q hundred.
seem to be fat and solid, Mrs. Bowser,
bu; as matter of fact am too spirit.
uelle 70 stand much pain"
Mrs. Bowser had TO laugh, She would
have had 10 had he been standing over
her with an AK. She led the way up
stairs aud was for dropping the sub
ject. but Mr.. Bowscr hadn't had bis
say yet,
In case this milk and water diet
doesn't staye off appendicitis and the
results are fatal YOU will find all my
business papers In the safe" he OBJ
served as he walked up and down.
Very we'll"
May Marry n She Wishes.
"You will not be forced TO marry TO
keep roof over your head"
No"
Naturally would rather you would
not marry at all, but am not going to
exact any promise. | do wish. how
ever, that you would visit my grave
once In awhile. | shan't know II. OF
course, but 1t will help you not to for
get me-"
Il shall visit 1t once In two weeks
during good weather" she replied as
she saw his lip trembling.
That is all ask. The doctor as
sured me that milk and water would
stave Off the impending danger. but
have presentment Mrs, Bowser-a !
presentiment that appendicitis viii
come and terminate fatally"
And | have a presentiment that I
shall some day meet that fool OF doc
tor and tell him what l think Of him.
It's just blllousness that ails you. and
a dose or two Of calomel would set you
to singing. There are yellow streaks
under your eyes, and those mean bill
iousness and nothing else"
Mr.. Bowser shook his head and heav-
ed a sigh that finally terminated In
groan and brought the cat out from
under the piano. Then he started down
the hall and put on his hat,
Are you going out?" was asked. y,
I'm going after quart Of milk. !
may wake up in the night and want
drink. | may also talk with the drug
gist II he isn't busy. | am sure he
woul he'N -ou about the funeral ar
rangen -"
Druggist Diagnoses Case.
Mrs. Bowser was glad TO have him
go. She knew the druggist was |
blunt spoken man and would diagnose I
the case pretty speedily. She therefore {
ran into a neighbors for an hour. Mr.. :
Bowser made his way TO the druggists,
and, not finding him rushed, he began:
doc, take a careful look at my face.
will you"
Cert. Thinking of trading it off for
a new one:" Il
"Does my phlz tell you anythingT S
"Not much. 1t never did. The vel. a
low streaks under your eyes show that :,
you are bilious"
What do pains in the back signifyT
"Rheumatism generally" i
"And roaring in the head" a
"a cold" c
"And when your teeth seem too r
long,?
"a little neuralgia In the jaws. Why,
what do you think ails you?"
II was told by a doctor this morning a
that those symptoms heralded an at r
tack Of appendicitis" C
Herald your grandmother! Some A
body has been making fool of you
again You may have appendicitis
some day, but it won't come on that
way. What did the so called doctor
tell you to do?" -
Drink milk and water" sighed Mr..
Bowser. \
you ought to be kept on that diet
for the rest Of your natural life. Didn't ,
Mrs. Bowser say the fellow was hum.
bug" r
'Well-er-you know 4.
Tells Him to Go Eat. !,
"Of course she did, and Of course be >
Is. Go home and eat hearty dinner.
Eat as much as you want tomorrow ,
and then take some calomel Say, man,
If you hadn't the wife you have some
body would get the socks off your
feet"
Mr.. Bowser didn't jaw back. He was a
too elated Ten minutes later the cook t
was heaplng the remains Of that boiled a
dinner on the table, and he was eating t
like Michigan lumberman. Mrs. Bow II
ser came home and surprised him at 1t.
well, you saw the druggist?' she que
ried as he refled his plate.
"The druggist? What aboutY'
about your threatened appendi-
citis."
II hadn't heard anything about be-
Ing threatened"
"But you gave up $5 to fool Of
doctor this morning to tell you to live
on a milk and water diet for the next
four days"
my dear woman" said Mr.. Bowser F
between huge bites, please go away.
You are laborlng under hallucination. =