New-York tribune., 1906-09-22
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

'The Youths Companion: You don't seem 20 un-
derstand." clustered the man who trying TO
make his point with university professor. II tell
you. sir. ought to know. I'm alumni OF this
| institution myself" Are you? That's nothing
| singular" the rejoinder uttered so quietly
that the clustering knew what had
happened
The champion absent-minded man lives at Bal,
friend the family physician After chat & Of aooa a
and bade him good night. saying. Come again.
Family all WELL I suppOse7" MY heavens ex-
US plD OF my e''AnO MY WIG Is III " AT ''A 1''
Bishop Mandeli Creighton asked the
difference between Cambridge and Oxford
man. The professor. he was at that time. re-
Piled IAN Oxford looks II the world be-
lOnged to him; a Cambridge man. II he didn't
care to whom the world belonged"
No Mistake.-The editor apologizins over ths
were chairman last night. colonel" he said Eve
proceedingsi but II appeared Ia print as perhaps
you have noticed. Following IS a derated report
and so forth. Mistakes Of that kind you know.
1T may have been an accident" interrupted the
g mistake. You sidetracked most Of the report
Chicago Tribune.
They two very respondent stock brokers.
and they stood at the corner of Wall street
they were telling each other what they tnoushs
OF the market Stocks" said "Stocksl they
go up and you're wrong: and they 20 down and
you're wrong again. what want 10 know is'-
But gleaIn OF consolation lit up his companion's
face. ANY way he said, "they can't side
ways
SONG OF THE OPAL.
I am a bowl OF ruddy fire. where lies whisper OF
I am the ghost Of some pale that breaks its
perfumed heart too soon: -,
And. changing like truant flight OF restless pill
Upon white arms / lie at rest. upon white fingers
As If some master hand had II, my cOlored fires
Archie Sullivan. in Appleton'a
Crank in the Of eccentric person Is
a new word The very first written instance Of
crank IN the modern sense that could be found
for Or. Murray's dictionary IN the reports OF
the trial OF Guiteau. President Gardeld's murderer
Guiteau's reference 70 somebody a crank gave
the word vogue that has gone spreading. But
the adjective cranky" known in 1857 as mean
ing sickly Ohe German "krank) and TO Dickens
In the senses OF cross and orochety. In all it's
meaning. It springs from the root idea OF crooked
ness. as does CRANK in its sixteenth century
OF deceitful trick IN ''quips and cranks.
Taking Him Down.-"Crlttick was pleased to say
remarked M 'yo young sD De Riter ns' 0'' 0'
He said even more than that" said Pepprey.
Yes he added, and positively no infsriors"-
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
There is nearing completion in the neighborhood
OF Cameronbridge. England. the deepest mineral
bore IN the world The objsct Of the bore. which
has reached the enormous depth OF 1000 feet, was
TO ascertain whether the lower GOAL measures ex-
listed IN tho east OF Fife they do IN the west OF
the county. At tho depth named a seam OF splen-
did splint coal. eight feet in thickness. has been
discovered.
"Yes'm. William dun seen me VIII Mr.. Jacksins
and he sed he would nevah speak to Media OBJ
us no mo. tho l done tor him Mr.. Jscksng was
That's too bad. Maria. Did he cut your ac-
quaintance with acerbity?"
Nom: VIII a razah."-Baltimors American
An observant pilgrim has discovered that in
High street. StratfOrd-on-Avon. a restaurant
called the Shakespeare" is kept by "a. Bacon
A Liverpool paper tells the pathetic story of one
A, who is compelled to grow a beard to ward
OF pneumonia and other ills. The woman with
whom he has fallen in love. however. declines TO
marry him unless he viii shave. What" asks our
contemporary. should a dor The answer seems
easy: Keep the beard and cut the woman.
Now that the & college football season is about to
seem quite so gory.-SOmervle Journal
Glasses in grammar are invited to consider wha,
sort OF rehearsal attended by the sister Of
the horse named in the following paragraph from
The Madison Va) News: "A new buggy belong
ing to Fred HutchersOn was right badly broken up
in some manner by horse which was hitched to it
one night last week while he was IN town waiting
tor his sister, who was attending rehearsal"
Carelessness Observation-Disclosures can't
baby. You see. they sent her a gfrI when she'd
9%rasred % boy an she's so disappointed she's sick