The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-01-13

Teacher-Now, Johnny, what Is the
perfect tense Of the verb ito invest?'
Johnny-To investigate.-New YORK
Sun.
II say, Jean, won't you lend Paul
fver~ Does he need it badly" Il
should say so! He wants to pay back
what he owes mer'-Les Annales.
First Old Lady-He was bad char.
acter; but believe he repented at last
Second Old Lady-Oh, no, he didn't;
, l saw that he died Observation-Disclosures
Globe.
"whata beautiful hat you're wearing
t to-day" I'm so glad you like it. You
have such good TASTE" Eyes, / had
, one Just like it-last year."-Meggen-
, dorfer Batter.
8 Poor old Henpeck leads dogs life
with his wife," "Well, why on earth
: doesn't he apply for a divorce" He
: says he wanted to, but she wouldn't
G let him."-Ex.
e If man smiles and looks pleased
: when you pay him a compliment, pay
j him another one. In time you may be
= able to borrow money from him.-Som-
Q erville Journal.
my DOCTOR" said Billyuns, has or
dered me to take more exercise
L what are you going to do?" Have
the ticker moved across the room from
Z my desk."-Ex.
:, Young Mother-The doctor says you
II shouldn't kiss the baby; 1t isn't sani-
y tary. Old Neighbor-Poor little fel-
:, low-why don't you wash him?-De-
troit Free Press.
victim-What has happened2 Where
- am II Doctor-You have been serious
ly injured in trolley accident. But
cheer up-you will recover. Victim
- How much?-Ex.
n Bank Cashier-You have overdrawn
q your account, madam. Lovely Lady
N That Is Just like me! My husband says
am always exaggerating everything
-Somerville Journal.
Mamma-Of course you said, oh
a. this is so sudden!' when Tom finally
; proposed. Daughter-No; l fully In
nc tended to, but l was so excited l for
49, got, and exclaimed, "At last"-Ex.
90 "Oh, Mr.. Brown, why did you leave
the Christian Science Church" Real
= ly, Miss Jones, if you will have the
I truth, l got SO awfully tired OF being
so persistently cheerful all the time
| Life
First AUTHORITATIVE you sold many
| copies of your book? Second Author
| (absently)-Wonderf Over a hun
dred thousand First Author-WheI
was 1t issued? Second Author-Nex
Tuesday.-Life.
: Mother-Bobby, begged papa TO
an hour to-day to buy a pony, but b.
| won't do it. Bobby Indignantly
| Why didn't you burst into tears
Couldn't you do that much for me?-
| New York Mail.
81 understand that your boy is gel
| ting an education" "Yassuh," answer
| ed Uncle Raspberry, IAN mebbe he
| dom better'n dat. l honestly b'lieve
| he's gittin' sense along wifi it,
| Washington Star
| did tn docther find out what it
) that's ailin' yer" mo. He said tn
nawthin' but a postmortem examine
. ton wud liver reveal ut. An l haven
not enough CURIOSITY ABOUT Ut u nave
1T one"-Cleveland Leader.
nd. Dear pop" wrote the boy from tn
to art school, don't send me any mol
ars money! have saved half that whic
his you sent me last MONTH" Con
NV home" wired the old man, you
tch never make an arust. -ruch.
list. Chief-Do you mean to say that ye
haven't been able to get a single Gle
a, as to the perpetrator of this crime
- Detective-Naw. Them newspaper r
NOV porters Is down ON me and they VOL
tell me anything.-Cleveland Leader.
Reporter understand that one
"p your guests committed suicide la
on' night by hanging himself out of
third-story window. Lodging-hou
. Keeper-Well, there was such a ROOF
er in the air for a while.-Town To
les.
Alice rushed in from the garde
where she had been picking flower
She was badly stung by bee, al
was holding on to her finger and SO
bling pitifully "Oh. mamma" 8
cried, 81 burned me on a bug!'
Brooklyn Life.
Young Lady repeating conversati
to deaf old gentleman)-Miss Fri
says 1t gave her such fright. De
Old Gent-Eh? l didn't quite
Young Lady-Such fright! Deaf {
Gent-Ah, yes-I agree with you
she is!-Punch.
II suppose, madam" said the arc
tect, you will want an electroller I
in the drawing-room" Sure"
swered Mrs Neurich; 81 don't kn'
how to play one, but I'll begin TAXI
lessons at once, regardless OF cost.
Chicago Daily News.
by the way, what has become
Browns book, 'One Hundred Sh
!. Outs to Wealth. that he was work
NJ. N