Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-15

III flOl hnOW Ills name. EeTHlpS
il was Tom. Most cats OF his per-
suasion are called Tom. 1t is IA
sort of noncOmmittal name and is
no burden to the cat. Mark Twain
says he once killed a promising bunch
of cats by overlooking them with
names. He called them Zoroaster.
Sour Mash. Apollinaris and Blather-
skite. 1 once knew Il cat named Plupey
Shute. but he was fairly husky and did
not seem TO mind it. We might com
promise by calling this especial feline
Micawber. He was always looking for
something. Mostly ii was for some
thing to eat, and when it wasn't that it
was for trouble
Micawber had had hard life What
between the world. the flesh and the
small boy he was up against ii most
of the time. AS 4 kitten he had been
reared in comparative luxury, but that
time now seemed TO him. when he
thought of il at all. like Il dim. sweet
dream. Mostly he did not think of il.
being too busy with everyday affairs.
such as fighting. lodging stones and
looking for provender. The family
where he had lived in his happy youth
had moved away, forgetting 10 take
him along. The next occupants of the
house did not want him. 50 he was
thrown out ON the cold world. He did
not leave voluntarily. but after being
chased out. kicked out. locked out and
dOused with hot water sufficient num-
Der of times lie finally took the hint
that his company was not desired He
did not so much mind the indignities.
but rude. physical assault panied and
surprised him. There are some things
that even q cart viii not stand
After that. for the most part. he
lived in back alley. He slept in
barrel by day and went on voyages
Of exploration and discovery by night.
He did not find much but tribulation
and scrups-scraps that We're eaJable
and scraps with other felineS Some
times, when driven by hunger. he ven
tured ont by day. Occasionally he
caught sight of 4 mouse. 4 bird or q
chipmunk. Then, motiOnlcss and alert.
he would watch it for what seemed
ages. The patience of cat is
thing that should be immortalized on
n monument. While on these daily
outings he had to jump Sideways and
straight up to get out of the way of
playful brickbats and clods hurled in
his direction. He became as expert in
lodging missiles as Il millionaire in
evading n court summons. Only Mi
cawber knew nothing about million
aires. He belonged TO the hoi polloi
Most of the time he lived the strenuous
life. He became expert in war through
many trouncings. He learned to lick
everything be could not make lovc to-
He had no morals TO speak Of and was
never troubled by conscience or altru-
ism. When living the simple life he
was mild and meek looking and had
voice as gentle and pleading as that of
Il book agent. But when on the war
path he was Il cyclone and emitted
yells that would wake up the block.
He was bad man from the mountains
and was yedrning TO make the world
acquainted with the fact.
Now, there are cats and cats. as you
doubtless know. Sometimes there are
too many of them. especially mt night
Micawber belonged to this overplus
The cats voice when tuned up is not
exactly like the music of the spheres,
but attracts more attention. When ex-
cited by wrath feline language has a
phemy. So does the language of the
man who is stirred out of his rest
thereby. If some Garner could dis
cover just what feline small talk means
he would doubtless bring to our notice |
an original and delicious array of |
swear words that would enrich the
language
Through long practice Micawber had |
developed a voice that ran all the |
gamut Of hideOusness. 1t scooted |
through all the scales of discord and |
embraced all the cctaYeS of inharmony. |
1t was not musical, but penetrating |
1t was chaotic, criminal and assault |
provoking. 1t expressed all that is |
fiendish and malevOlent. 1t had in it !
the despair and error of q lost soul. |
the wall of defeated demon. 1t was /
a scandal, an outrage and an infamy. |
The steam siren got all its sliding scale /
of diabolism. all it's crescendo of cussed-
ness. all its switchbacks and shoot the |
chutes of the infernalsm of sound |
from the feline voice.
Yet to rssard Mieawber's sleepy |
eyes, his inodensive demeanor and his
playful disposition one could not sus-
pect him of harboring such sentiments
You would not imagine that under that
fluffy and amiable exterior could be
rolled up so much noise and depravity
Ion the outside, inoffensivc and guile
less docillty; on the inside, murder,