davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
DENIES SCIENTIFIC BREEDING
OF HUMAN RACE LIKE PLANTS

While Luther Burbank may work won
ders breeding" plants. and stockmen
perform miracles breeding animals. no
such felIcitoUs process can be applied to
the human race, according to an ed
toriaI in American Medicine. II says;
The idea has been advanced that We
the same way thet Luther Burbe ak Is
creating such wonderful plants. or
course We can. He simply raises l0Q, 900
plants, finds among them one or two
with the proper variations, saves these
two ana destroys all the rest We can
children in each Congressional district
about 100, coo more OF less-select the
two we consider the hest and hang all
the rest 1t Is simplicity itself, but
there Is ore slight dinculty. BuTbank's
plants have no voice IN the matter but
proposition, and viii decide that his type
is the best and the other children should
be-SO the Ey-staUN itself will be-hunE
up. All this nonsense about eugenics
will cease when the silly season is over.
'StirplCultUre Is a most accurate ana
scientific process as applied 10 domestic
animals, and the more II Is investigated
the better. Yet, here, 100, there is nOt
the slightest chance Of applying II 10
man. The stock breeder selects for his
purpose only few Of the thousands
born, and steTilizes the others, or keeps
them from breeding. or kills them. As
We have before explained, he usually
embassies one tTaS= ike sneeG IN the
horse or wool In the sheep, at the eX-
pense OF ali other characters. II we
could try the same methods we would
only succeed in breeding types of men
noted for one character-say. muscu-
larity without sense. or brains without
physique.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
Bring the Buyers 70 Town.

A series of excursions into Wash
ington from possible markets is
proposed by some of the officers Of
the Jobbers and Shippers Associa-
ton. Wine is late TO make such
an enterprise effective for the win
ter wholesale trade, there is album
dant time TO produce large results
for the local retail trade. The pro-
posaI is practical. therefore. and
ought to obtain t. full support of
every citizen sincerely interested in
the expansion of the community s
trade.
The excursions are 'anned TO
bring the residents of nearby Vir-
gina, West Virginia, North Caro-
lima, and Maryland into the Capital
for the opening OF Congress. If
they do it will rest with our local
retailers TO determine whether or
not the visitors do their Christmas
buying here or elsewhere.
Business enterprise would move
them TO prepare special displays of
Christmas wares. to publish ar
engagements for boxing and shipping
goods in time for holiday use, to
be on the lookout for out-of-town
customers during the period of the
excursions. and to enter into some
simple agreement whereby. with n
minimum of trouble to the visitor,
his fare may be in whole or in part
refunded according to the amount
of his purchases. If these things
are done, though the excursions
bring only one buyer from each
town, they will have been worth
their cost ten times over.
In addition to the direct trade
benefits, good ought to result from
the undertaking in the experience
it will provide in active co-opera.
tion among our merchants. Wash
ington has probably had less OF
working together for the spread OF
its trade than any other city in the
United States. Mutual mistrust is
not so much the trouble as genera
inactivity. This plan. on the one
hand, being free from suspicion a,
an advertisement of any single firm
and on the other, requiring wDrI
and giving from the whole body OF
retail merchants, should bring then
together under the most favorabl,
circumstances. It is a chance fol
them to put their shoulders TO the
wheel with tangible results in sight
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
Why Keep 1t Dark.

1t is announced upon what may
be considered reliable authority
that under the coming course of
the trustees OF the Carnegie teach
ers' pension fund. secrecy as to the
Identities of the recipients viii be
the rule. 1t is said that it is the
opinion of the majority of the men
having this fine work of apprecia-
tive philanthropy in hand that
many who would naturally fall
within the scene of the funds pro-
visions might hesitate to avail them
selves of its benefits if their receiv-
ing il was to be made an item of
general news and comment" If the
trustees carry out the beliefs thus
expressed. we shall no more know
in what direction or to whom the
Carnegie rewards for long and hon
orable service are to be bestowed.
II may be possible, as the trus-
tees seem to believe, that there are
some college professors who would
feel a sense of modification at the
knowledge that the world was
aware that they had accepted what
is popularity known as pension. Yet
we do not believe the majority of
sensible and high minded instruc-
tors would have that sort of senti-
ment in the matter
In the first place, il is an honor
both TO an institution and to an in
structor TO be found worthy of
some of the proceeds of the great
iron masters generosity. 1t does
not necessarily mean that the man
who is thus rewarded in a manner
worthy of his attainments is poor
or in any sense an object Of charity.
There are wealthy men in these
United States who are even now
drawing pensions from the United
States Government simply from the
pride of their honorable service in
the army of the North during the
civil war. There are scores upon
scores of different callings in which
men of means are amplified by sys-
TENS closely resembling that of pen
sions. No trainer of the mind need
feel the slightest diffidence over the
publishing OF the fact that he has
been found worthy 10 reap a very
practical reward for his service.
Further, il is certain that abso-
lutte secrecy in such a matter as this
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
The Test of Socialism.

Socialism is meeting its first OPP
portunity and its first obstacle in
America at the same time. The OPP
Portunity lies in the receptive at
titude of the American mind. \
country restless economically, eager
for a better control of great enter
prise, weary of the shell of pre-
tense described as party regular
ity," ought Ia be a rich field for
socialist seed. But the seed must
promise a marketable crop, it must
be susceptible of normal culture, or
America viii have none of it. So
the socialist, for the first time as
sured a hearing, for the first time
also finds himself face 10 face with
the need for st practical program
One of the ablest English social
lists, so described in the Atlantic
Monthly for November, is quoted in
that publication as saying: The
American comrades are a queer lot
Of theorists. 1 have found but one
man among IL EN- with whom I could
work in sympathy" The difficulty
seemed to be at each separate one
had his own platform built for the
erection of the house of brotherly
love; there was no general plan and
little order among the wOrkmen.
when we shout for ideals" says
another comrade, a Frenchman, lit
is as musical as heaven; when we
discuss our practical program, it is
as discordant as hell"
Here, then, is the real test of the
Propaganda,
We are all agreed on the beauty
in the golden rule. We would all
suppress selfshness and foster gen
crosby. We would all terminate the
incessant struggle for gain and sup
plant it with life of sweet peace
and beautiful aspiration. So far we
are all socialists.
But how shall we go about it
Where shall we begin? Can laws
make as over? Is there any theory
of government which can reorgan-
ize a market? Or, as the ancny-
nous Chinese official says of our
religion in his disturbing Letters, -
does socialism purport ito represent
a superhuman idear while "in real
ity does not represent even enc
/ that is human >"
The Washington times., 1906-10-30

will tend to discourage any future
millionaire's addition to the Car
negie fund. There will also be lost
to the world a very engrossing
study of the manner in which sec
tions, colleges and professors prove
worthy of the pecuniary testimon-
ial. Altogether, it Is difficult to
understand why a matter of such
large public interest should not be
permitted to be also a matter of
public knowledge.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
GUZNAN
TO WINTER HERE
Colombian SeCretary's Wife
to Spend Part of Season
in Gotham.

AIsdame Pomporio Gauzman. who is
tn wife Of the first secretary Of the
Colombian legation. and daughter OF the
% - Iy-appotuted Minister from Colon
Iia will spend the greater part OF the
winter 10 washington; the remainder in
New York. She is a bride OF less than
a year, and her wedding In London was
one Of the events in diplomatic circles
in the British capital where her hus-
band was secretary or the Colombian
legation.
Madame Gazman is not a stranger
here. as she accompanied her father
when he made a visit in Washington
last fall She met many of the set
with which she viii be identified.
Mir and Mrs. Jacob Kronheimer, Of
u street, entertained a few friends sun
day evening, in honor OF MT. and Mrs.
aaron BIrEsnwald, OF Baltimore. a
beautiful supper was served late IN the
evening Those present We're Alr. and
Mrs. 8. BirEenwald, Alr. and Mrs.
Louis NeWmeyrr Mr. and Mrs. Gus
DppcuhelmrT, Sir. and Mrs NJ. New
meyer. Mrs. B. CoDleuzeF, and Mrs. \.
SIgmuud.
Mrs. y. Kaufman has returned 10 her
home in Toledo, Ohio, after being the
guest Of her parents, Air and Mrs. Louis
Baar.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lew Mayer. Of South
Whitley, Ind, while travelling North,
were the guests for a few days OF Mr..
and Mrs. Meyer Fullhelmer, OF Florence
court
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Baum are To-
Gated at 3t23 Thirteenth street, and VIII
he pleased 10 see their friends.
The whists that were given and so
frHr ny q
Ladies Auxiliary of the Eighth Street
Temple viii be resumed this season.
The first one OF this season VIII take
place Monday afternoon, NONemoer .,
and viii continue on the lTsJ Monday
Of each month in the pdrlors OF the
Mercantile Club.
Miss JuIia Goldsmith. who las been
the guest of her sister. Mrs NJ. hhelne,
for the past three weeks. left for her
home in Fredericksburg, Va, yesterday
Mrs. Julia Luchs OF r strset, has in
vitations out for the marriage OF heI
daughter. Miss Helen Luchs, 10 Sylvan
Bensinger, of this city. 10 take place
November u, ut o'clock at Raushers 5.
Miss Mary Bass. of Baltimore. spent
a few days with Mrs. A Jackson
The Rev. DR.. and Mrs. Voorsanger and
daughter, Miss Rae NoOTSanger. OF SaT
Francisco, viii sail for Europe upon
1 leaving here
z Heidenheimer and daughter, Mrs
Benjamin Held, have returned from Al
ENJOYABLE stay in New York city.
Philfp Moses, Jesse Benish, and Arm
old BambeTgeV were party OF Balu
moreans who spent several days here
this week
Mrs. Hartz Is now residing at 125
/ Twelfth street.
Lou Kann ard children have been the
guests of the formers mother, Mrs
Sondhefmer, of Fifth street.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
KISSED CLERKS TWICE DAILY
AND NOW POSSESSES MILLIONS

Mrs Rawles Reader. the young wom-
an, who rose from selling soda water
n Southern town TO dealing in mines
and railroads. not 10 mention her dash
into international matters in the SantO
Domingo crisis, likes - advise people.
Mrs. Reader thinks that men do not
go about y in the right way to win the
regard of their clerks. who are so often
IN need OF sympathy. She SAYS that
when she ran q typewrting office IN
New York she kissed her sixty girl en-
ployes morning and evening.
She has succeeded and is now not rum
ming a typewTitinE Office. bat as a mil
Honairess is telling less fortunate bust
ness people her secret of success
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
CONGRESS- ECONOMY EXISTS,
SAYS CONGRESSMAN oLCOTT

In spite Of the wholesale cutlery against
the lavish expenditure OF money in po-
lltical campaigning a stringent econ
omy g occasionally practiced by the
candidate.
Congressman J. Van Vechten Olcott
tells story OF a member of the House
from Missouri whose economical habits
attracted some attention among his col
leagues. The Missouriar is serving his
first term. and as he wits elected as a
Republican from a strongly Democratic
district some Of his fellow-memhers
were curious 10 know Aow much MS
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
CozY CORNER CON.
(Conducted bv Aunt Dottv

Conducted by Aunt Dotty.)
Many a girl would be quite attractive
II Il wasn't for her face. Today I will
answer = few Of those WHO have writ
ten he concerning thel= face troubles:
ANNA LiNE-It is. indeed. too bad
that your eyebrows are not mates.
Your ONLY salvation uffw Is 10 become
q brunette once more and then darken
your eyebrows and mate them W with
Sunset stove polish.
LITTLE PATN-TN-TFTE-FA
gazing IT your photograph for half 3
second. or less. ! have come TO the con-
ClusiOn thai the only thing you can DO
10 improve your looks Is 70 wear a
mask.
MISS TALKER-You say you have
tho r.uch chin. so 20 most women. for
that matter. If your chin is TOO pronni-
nent why don't you stop talking 50
mUch2
MISS q. WOTTERSITE-Wh don't
you set mOuse-trlp for that mole on
your cheek.
URA USSCHYER-Efave YOU tried
the water wagon for that red nose?
MISS RAVENLOX-The best cure for
hlackheads IS peroxide.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
NEXT CONGRESSIONAL SESSION
WILL DO LITTLE, SAYS MCCALL

The session OF Congress which viii
convene December 3. next, will accom-
pnsh little. according to Samuel ".
Mccall In al article in the November
Atlantic Monthly.
lie says.
The work OF the Congress is. of
course. not yet complete, although IL is
not probable that important legisIation
Of a general character will be secured
at the short session. TIE fnnmigrat iJ5T
plll, which has passed both houses in
diuerent forms and IS now in confer
ence, may be enacted
ne situation in Cuba may demand
legislative action. which IL IS TO be
hoped Will not destroy the independence
OF the little republic. In line with those
tiamboyant speeches which were made
Tor Philippine annexation. and are now
being repeated, But almost th,, whole
time OF the ten weeks session will be
required for the passage OF the great
annual supply bills"
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
AFRICAN TRIBE HAS PROVERBS
GOOD ENOUGH TO GUIDE WHITES

If any of the POLITICAL spellbinders
of these days are hard pushed Tor
epigrams and philosophical comment
they may find a fruitful field in the
folklore OF an African tribe
" Almost. say the Mpongwe people,
brings nothing into the house.
when the fox dies. no hen weeps.'
People think a poor man is not as
clever as rich one, for why, they ask
would he stay poor IL he were clever?'
" Don't ask the FISH what people are
doing On land
Anger draws arrows out Of the
culver, patience, nuts out Of the bag
Who marries a beautiful woman
takes trouble into the kraal'
Hear both sides before you Judge "
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
Mr.. DIVERS FUNERAL
TO BE HELD TOMORROW

Tho funeral OF David n. Oliver, sup
erIntendent OF Station No. . American
Ice Company. who was killed about noon
yesterday IN @ runaway accident at the
corner OF II and Fifteenth streets north
east, viii be held al MS late residence.
1tSs q street northeast, tomorrow after
noon at o'clock, At the time OF the
accident he was driving with George
Hoover, OF 10ll Florida avenue north
r4ai Ia tho iaItcr's wagon, The horse
became frightened at q passing autOmO-
bile and ran away, throwing both Occu-
pants into che street Mr.. Oliver in
railing struck his head on the curb. 4
widow and three little boys survive him.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
.hin of The WhiIOnl
WINTER FLANNFLS.

Feel the scratch. scratch. scratching
Underwear
How the itch. sch. itching
Ones do swear
How t.,a@ ~srigcls' round about,
IL anG ->sit,
In and out,
As the autumn DAYS get colder.
Growing hold and growing boider.
] rylng aard % reach each shoulder
Until cV'Ty muscle aches.
Crest Snakes!
wiz this Itch that's growing belder
never cease between each shoulder
Tell as that!
TtH us thati
There's no ccasing,
It's Increasing
From oar Gcad down 10 our toe.
What woe!
Now hCa II sIi creation
Can We stop this irri. atom
CONSERVATION
Strike our scratch. scratch. gcra tchinE
Underwear,
Tor rs itcI. itch. itchi1g
Hdkts us swear,
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
SideIightS on People
And EpentS of Today

campaign expenses were. He was swept
into Congress on the Roosevelt tidal
wave.
When the question was put 10 him he
satisfied the curious ones with the re-
ply.
well, you can figure IL out for your
self. The convention nominated another
man first and sent a letter OF declina-
ton. Tha, cost him a z-ceuJ postage
stamp. They Chen nominated me. and
/ die not mail my acceptance, Phil
adelphia Ledger.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
FIXED.

Hes thinking very seriously Of get
ling hold of some theatrical company
thai he may manage this winter"
WHY, he isn't fitted for that sort of
thing, Is he?"
20 yes, a rich relative died recently
and left him u fur-lined overcoat and
high hat"
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
TINES TIPS.

It's a wise voter that knows HIS own
candidate.
There's nothing sharper than wO-
mans tOngue-eNcept two or EN-.
It's pCoF rule that won't stretch.
Every little helps-except when the
stoTk brings that little
Many "a man who pTides himself on
being conservative Is really pig-headed.
TIE Don't Worry Club" is longevity 5
greatest friend
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
THERE ARE LOTS OF THEM.

Hes a vegetarian
THAT SOP Lives on potatoes and cab
bage and such stun, l SUPPOSE
"Oh, no; just rye"
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
ONE MAHOGANY TREE BRINGS
IN TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS

Portl9nd ore, Is now bOasting its
nigh station as lumber mart. bat il
can offer no such proof of it's wealth
IT. single sales as comes from Honduras
single mahogany tree IN Honduras
was recently cut into boards. which,
when sold In the European market,
realized over $1,000.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
A NEAR-FABLE.

There was once a handsome man who
occupied a seat on tho platform al
political rally. Everyone was anxious
TO he2. him because he looked so in
tellectual but when he began 20 talk
IL became painfully evident that he was
almost ar imbecile.
MorAl-Aany 2 mans power Of speech
is his greatest weakness.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
REVISED LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS.

ROses-''Love IS expensive"
Violets-'YOuT . sweet bunch
Pansy-"You'v got another think"
Primrose-.'Take a walk down the
path"
-"Forgetfulnegs." COf No.
-
Chrysanthemum-"H Willie"
FOrget-me-not-"Wha is your Manner
Csoldenrod-"I just love mill!OuaiFes."
Biuebell-"HelO, central"
Don't get potted."
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
EXPERT ADVICE.

on discussing politics
on smoking campaign cigars
on OVe-Epeeding-
On 20 ting cold
on fou--fiushing
on accepting lemons
on expectOratlng carelessiy-
On Worrying
On getting engaged
on getting married
On giving advice
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
GooD IuDGE GA RAcE RoRsEs.

Mr.. Rouuder-Dosa your cousin Geurge
take as much Interest "a horse racing
az lie Uced 10?
Mrs. Rounder-YcE, indeed. George
can always tell the day before a race
which horse ought TO win and the day
after why he didH Rochester DGJa-
OcVat,
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
YOU BET.

Some folks work for riches,
Others for fame are after.
But most Of Us dig IN
Just because we hatteri
The Washington times., 1906-10-30

It certainly is rather tough on Mrs.
Eddy that she must borrow from the
works Of her dearest enemy. Mark
Twain, her reply 10 the reports Of her
death.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30

The claim department of the Hon
Grim Jlggs has only one real com
pettor in the known world. That's the
hope department Of the Hon. James X.
Jones
The Washington times., 1906-10-30

It's going to be hard strain on Nil
waukee to have to entertain another
Prince Henry, but AIiIwaukee's friends
have full faith that she will rise to the
Ocpa sion
The Washington times., 1906-10-30

Mr.. Hughes: The ambition OF my op-
ponent IS 10 use the executive chair at
as a STEPPING stone 10 the White
House.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30

It's interesting to note that England
effects new treaties Of peace and ALI
ance just about I'm proportion as she
let's the facts leak out concerning the
size of her feet Of Dreadnoughts
The Washington times., 1906-10-30

Three sailors died from the effects of
drinking bay rum. which indicates that
ii must be about as bad when taken in
ternally as when applied externally.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30

Major and Mrs, Samuel Beber are
spending the winter in Washington as
the guests of Mrs. REFERS father. Gen.
erGl Miles.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30

The gentlemen in charge OF the New
York campaign, on both sides, will
please take notice that the public is
going to be painfully disappointed il
they don't spring something rather re-
cherche and exciting in the line of roor-
Observation-Disclosures minute.
The Washington times., 1906-10-30

The fact remains that the average
wife whose husband deserts her is
better of for IT,
The Washington times., 1906-10-30

After all. it's no more disgusting than
il was last year and the year before
this not being quite sure enough TO
dare risk your money on It
The Washington times., 1906-10-30
SeQNGt


The Queen Of Hearts
She made some tsrts,
She made them good and stout.
The KnaVe Of Hearts
He ate those taFts--
They put him down and Quit
The Washington times., 1906-10-30

Mr.. Hearst: And you're another.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-04-18

Chicago, April i7.-Firm capies and a sharp advance in the price or cash wheat at MinnespoIIis Srsssea hea, strSag the May option closing with net gain of IA. Corn. and oats were practi- caliy unchanged. Provisions were rn. rn- wheat market was strong. all day. Unexpected strength shown fn the Liv- erpooi market in the face of a decline sSss Gybea staffea fSe maret this buying continued unabated until the close. There was also lively de- mand by commission houses wnS were terest of northwestern connections; There were some signs of congested situation in the May deliver and that opinion shSwed sr9sssfrh onfhs serehs'sM Mlnns. at Sc higher than the May delivery ana this fact largely stimulated out,.sn market closed active and strong; May opened .1-4e higher at 7s IF to S-s ad. vance. to 80 S-4 tol 7-S and closed az $S s 5s and aOY eYossd sSd at 7s is to G gain of 3-s to 1-2.
 More than 1,5OO,o00 bushels of corn have been shipped from the elevators and this fact was the basis of an &C., tive demand by shorts and commission houses that resulted in a firm market TOT luc STedlST part OL liio prices were small local receipts. firm cables, and the strength of wheat. Late in the session the market eased off on profit taking. The close was steady with prices very close to the closing quotations of yesterday. May opened unchanged to l.sc higher at reacted to 46 s:4 to 7-S. The close was at 46 7-S to 47. July closed between 46 and 4e 12 and closed at 4s Is to 1-4.
 Despite the strength in wheat ana corn the market in oats was barely steady throughout the day. The de- mand was light and weather conditions continuing favorable for seeding caus- ed free selling by prominent bulls; May opened a shade to 1-Sc lower at 31 5-s to s-4 sold between 31 5.s and s1 7-S and closed at 31 3-4 to 7-S. July rang ed between 30 5-s and 7s and closed at 30 3-4 to 7-S.
 Provisions were firm early In the day on a fair general demand based on a Sc advance in the price of live hogs. Later the market eased off on profess sional taking by a prominent bull, The close was steady with July pork