davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-11-06

Best Beef Iron and Wine price 40o "Wednesday
sco,ta Emulsion Of OIL per bottle
seued Emulsion Of Cod IAvsr OIL Dollar Wednesday -
Thursday
Recommended by physicians.
oaakef Native Herbs Remedy: 200 doses Tor only AZ
syrup Of Laxative Fruits bottle J
Aromatic Castor oil any dsagreabe per wa
2<
Frce samples o Dandolon Tablets
Fa1ne Pad Tuases only Eel
Sew York Elastic 6
Physicians Pocket large assortnsut ~
received
Plate Glass Mirrors Ring Handle regular price s0e. wedasu
aud Thursday III II
DR. Rogers Introductory Cakes Ta
Soap regular poe special price box ..iee
y Peck Paror Wednesday aud Thursday oaly $500.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-11-06

Whist are al thu doctors doinE
~ the back rnam - asked the feeble
patient
s@Thays hntdinK n consultation
replied the nurse.
~oh. is that aiiT I thought Il.
Vas a xako=
Ar. MeCartY tpsilllHx his wife oni
Of the Nciil@s HcEurrY. women. are
az the bottom of everything Eph'
riam
Captain All Is lost We cannot
save the ship.
AfosseH-Dla yoa hear what he
Dout throw your of1 clothes
away Have them cleaned 10 look
IKE new al the Pantofium. Main
Z ie&s
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-11-06

u startling proposition that aeeerasa
figures before esu
actually lunat.es the world than pee4ae.
ennsaalon In ne faei that Il I.nt frnn
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
These Explanations.

Senator Foraker. at dinner in Washing
ton, quoted with a laugh an extravagant
and incredible statement that he had read
In magazine. When some one attempted
TO explain, he said:
THE thing is preposterous. and all the ex-
plantations In the world won't alter it's pre-
posterousness. These explainers. They are
never at loss. are they? They remind me
OF old James Scarlett OF Rainsboro.
There was nothing which James Scarlet
OF Rainsboro could not explain.
zone winter night he was reading a vol
ume OF the Seaside library to his family
gathered about the fireside With his spec
tacles on his nose he droned along like
this:
'Gwendolen de We're Hastings lowered
her limpid blue eyes. and Lord Algernon
Mannering took her slim white hands in
his, and crushed her to him in a passionate
embrace
AT that moment. Ave minutes past IL
sounded from the castle belfry. and
But here young Miss Scarlet inter-
rupted
Z" No clock could strike 1--WE minutes past
H. she said.
Certainly it could James snorted. II
was five minutes slow"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11

Mark Twaln's story about Artemus Ward
is one OF his funniest yarns One day when
Artemus Ward was travelling man APP
preached him in the train, sat down. and
said:
Did you hear the last thing on Horace
Greeley"
Greeley? Greeley?" said Artemus; "Hor-
ace Greeley? Who is he?"
The man was quiet about five minutes.
Pretty soon he said:
George Francis Train is kicking up a
good deal OF row over in England. Do
you think they will put him in bastile?"
Train? Train? George Francis Train?
said Artemus solemnly, Il never heard of
him."
This ignorance kept the man quiet fifteen
minutes. Then he said:
What do you think about General
Grants chances. for the presidency? DO
you think they will run him?"
Grant? Grant? Hang 1t. man" said
Ward, you appear to! know more strangers
than any man l ever saw"
The man was furious. He walked on. but
at last came back and said;
you COMPOUNDED ignoramus, did you ever
hear OF AdAm7" -
|, Artemus looked up and said; Adam
What was his other namef'-Judge
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11

During the recent municipal campaign in
Indianapolis a colored man who was speak
ing in, behalf of Bookwalter. endeavoring to
bring the colored men who were "out of
line" into the republican fold, had an ex-
perience which is told with great relish by
politicians.
He was billed to speak at a ward meeting
one night, and. after being introduced, he
began something after this fashion:
Gentlemen and Fellow Citizens: I am
glad for this opportunity to address this
gathering here this evening For the last
twenty years have been a voter of Marion
county"
"Mistah Chairman" interrupted colored
man named Hawkins. who was on the OPP
posite of the election question. and who did
not like the speaker anyhow, 'Mistah
Chairman" he shouted. "Ah. wants to make
a point"
well, state your point" directed the
chairman, angry at the interruption.
Clearing his throat, Hawkins took the
floor and said:
"Mistah Chairman. de gentleman says
that fob de past twenty years he has been a
votah OBJ Marion county. / knows OBJ four
years de gentleman spent up in Michigan
City. Das nah pointr'-Indianapoli News.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
wedding Novelties.

The recent wedding in New York at
which the bridesmaids were representative
of six nationalities and each felicitated the
bride in the language of her own country.
was an odd AFFAIR, but probably not so well
received as the speech Of a young English
man who was called upon to propose tho
toast, THE Bridesmaids" Apprised of his
ordeal in advance he had devised an escape
and with the single statement that silence
was golden he brought from his pocket
set of gold bangles, which he bestowed
upon the attendants OF the bride.
At a wedding feast at Dol. In Normandy,
the demand for a speech resulted In the
production OF a guitar, upon which the
speaker accompanied himself while he
chanted the - SEES of the bride. Had no
stopped there all would have been well.
but he changed to praise Of his store and
the guests threw him out of the house.
Doubtless a similar fate should have be-
fallen the sharpshooter who wrote tho
name Of the bride upon the wall with
pistol bullets. to the serious damage OF the
wall paper. Almost odd was the per-
Torrance OF a German music hall per-
former. who, when called upon for enter
tainment, mounted the table upon his
hands and balanced himself upon glasses,
cups and other furnishings
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11

H. a. Buck was calling on Prof. jerks Of
Cornell at the st. Francis hotel the other
day. They were exchanging raillery and
beclouding the ambient atmosphere with
much smoke, when brass buttoned bell
boy cut short their banter by handing the
Cornell professor a card.
Pardon me a moment, Harry" said Prof.
jerks. as he proceeded to read an inscrip-
ton on the card 1t read:
Some years ago, on the occasion OF q
visit to Alaska, enjoyed the pleasure OF
meeting your father. and l would be deeply
sensible of the privilege and honor of shak-
ing hands with his son."
How old was the man that sent up this
card?' asked Prof, jerks Of the bellboy.
about go SIR said the bellboy.
thought clouded the brow OF President
Roosevelt's representative for a moment.
Then he wrote something on the back OF
the card and handed 1t back to the bell
boy. The something on the back OF the
card read
MY father died thirty-seven years ago.
II you have any other good reason for wish
ing to see me / should be pleased to have
you come up."-San Francisco Chronicle.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11

people doesn't know the pathos of the lost
opportunity? In the village which is a
suburb of New Bedford friend of mine
took me to the dedication of a town hall and
pointed out to me bronzed and weather.
beaten old man over 30 years old.
DO you see any passion in that old
MANI" said he to me.
You don't; well, can make him a per-
feet volcano to you. I'll just mention him
something very casually" And he did.
Well, that old man suddenly gave vent to
an outburst of profanity such as 1 had
never heard in my life before. listened to
him with the delight with which one listens
to an artist. The cause OF 1t was this
When that old man was a young sailor he
came back from a three-year cruise and
found the whole town had taken the pledge
He hadn't; so he was ostracized Finally
he made up his mind he couldn't stand os-
tracism any longer, and he went to the
secretary and said: Put my name down
for that temperance society of yours" Next
day he left on another three-year cruise II
was torture to him to watch his men drink.
ing and he pledged not to. Finally he got
home.
He got a jug OF good stuff, ran to the So
ciety. and said "Take my name right on >
'It isn't necessary" said the secretary
N'you were blackbaled."
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
In the Right Direction.

A clergyman, who is absent minded, tells
how he once unconsciously helped a bash
full swain. He was pOndering something
theological. when a neighbours daughter
walking by with her diffident lover. called
out to him; "oh. doctor, we are Just
going for a ramble. Won't you join usT'
with pleasure. Do you want the cere-
mony in a church," The bashful lover
was suddenly fired with an enthusiasm
thst four years Of gnawingi at his heart
strtnes had failed 10 arouse. and he fairly
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
When Women Garry Pistols

Evidently the man was a footpad. The
woman did not quail.
On the contrary, she took a pistol from
her mum
You harrid thing" she said. III this
was loaded and I knew how to cock 1t
I'd make you 20 right away"
Before he got over his establishment the
police arrived--Philadelphia Ledger
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
A Pointed Question.

Mr.. Brown had just had telephone con-
nection between his office and house and
was very much pleased with it.
II tell you. Smith," he was saying. this
telephone business is a wonderful thing. 1
want you to dine with me this evening and
l will notify Mrs. Brown to expect YOU"
Brown Speaking through the telephone)
MY friend Smith will dine with us this
evening"
Now listen and hear how plain her reply
comes back"
Mrs. Browns reply came back with start
ling distinctness:
ASK your friend Smith II he thinks we
keep a hotel. New York World.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11

/.
&kAEyH from the kitchen into the sitting
roUm and from the sitting room back again.
If he lived in splendid, big house like
Martory Browns he could wander, an
wander, an wander, without turning back.
Il don't believe there are many children
that live in house with only five rooms
in 1t, countin' the pantry"
Mamma was sewing on dress for Mar
1ory Brown. She looked up and smiled a
little. $780,.
Il, guess you don't know the King island
little boys" she said. 'They only have
one room in their houses. And sometimes
two Or three families live together in one"
Mamma Lee! Then it's a story Please
begin at the commencin'."
TITS true story. Up in the northern
part of Bering sea there is q steep, barren
rocky island. oh, II is very steep and bar
rem and rocky. The shores rise straight up
into the air 800 feet nearly, and hung
somehow to the bare rocks, one above an
other, are forty or strange little houses
We should not call them houses at all.
expect.
THE whole island isn't more than two
miles long, and at its widest part hardly
a mile across. The sea at the foot of the
cliffs Is Icy cold. 1t is almost always win
- -NAAAo iSAnhu' hlfik
Eskimo-for they are Eskimos-has his win
ter house an dhis summer cottage The
nrst Is only cave in the cliff. and the
last the very strangest, ugllest little tent
no, they are more like square crates COW
cred with walrus skin.
THE furniture is made up of a bench
round the room. to sit on daytimes and
sleep on nights. The queer stone lamp
Is all the stove there is. but 1t doesn't mat
ter so much about that because they eat
nearly all their food raw They never
TASTED any vegetables, Morry."
mot any 'tatoes-or squashes? or-or
green corn2"
mo. nor any other green. fresh thing.
On the whole island there isn't a tree or
bush. Morry. There's only a kind of
gray weedy grass and some kind OF moss.
That's the way the King island little boys
live. year in and year out. There are long
dreary, dark days when 1t is always night
What do you suppose the little boys dc
to pass away the time them"
"Oh, l don't know" breathed Morris
II can't imagine" He got up and went
into the sitting room and into the two airy
bedrooms; then he came back to the
kitchen again. The little ''teenty-tonty
house" had been growing bigger and bigger
'Oh. wish those poor little King boys
could live in nice. big house like this. .
Morry cried.-Sunday School Advocate
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
Moriarty'. Answer.

Eugene Moriarty, who seemed TO be a AK
ture in the Massachusetts, legislature some
years ago. was at one time on the Worces-
ter school board. A fellow member. Rev.
d. o. Mears, more than limited at one meet
ing that there were altogether too many
Irish names on the list Of Worcester teach
ers.
The charge passed unchallenged at the
time. but at the next meeting up rose Mr..
Moriarty with this little gem: "MT. Presi.
dent, at the, last meeting OF the board some
one. intimated that there are too many Irish
names on our list OF teachers. The. next
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
Bunkoed Again.

The manager of a New York theater tells
the following story: During performance
OF RIP Van Wrinkle" by the late Joseph
Jefferson. the manager who was standing
in the lobby. observed countryman hover
ing about the entrance in an uncertain way.
Finally. as with a determination 10 go the
limit, the countrymsn bought ticket and
entered the house. A little while after the
manager happened to be In the lobby again.
when the eountryman came OUT with an ex-
preston Of intense disgust upon his face.
Well. how do you like the shown" the
manager inquired. with secret amusement
The irate farmer grew confidential
Say, mister" ne replied. I'm a-goin
tew have a mighty hard time splainin' 70
Marandy what done with them tew ael-
lars, but you kin bet I won't telisher paid
Il tew sea an old Teller MI up on hoker an
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
The Kissing Record.

The east side. New York City, declares
that the wedding of Solomon Levin and
Miss Mollie Mogilewsky in the KanInetz-
Podolsk synagogue, 80 Attorney street,
February /. was the finest seen in long
time. The bride was kissed 7lS times. This
is said to be the record for bride kissing
on the east side Mrs. Levin Is none the
worse for II.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11

BUTTER AND CHEESE SPECIALS.
Fancy Separator Creamery Butter.
per pound ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. 19c
Full Cream Cheese. per pound ....... .12Rc
Fancy Full Cream Brick Cheese, ID. =. .l5c
Fancy Domestic Swiss Cheese, per ID TIC
ORANGES. ORANGES. ORANGES.
Fancy large Sweet Juicy, Highland
,aVal Oranges, 20 for ................. 25c
Extra large fancy Sweet, Juicy Highland
Navel Oranges, per dozen. zoe
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
The Highest Qualify Groceries

For less money than you can buy them
e pounds Finest Pure Cane Granulated
sugar ........... ......e........... ......@lVV
4S-pound sacks very highest patent Min
nesota Flour, nothing finer made, per
sack ............... ...........,..........N 81. %
10-pound sacks best Granuated Corn
meal ......... .............. ..k........ .15c
Z pounds best Michigan Hand-Picked
Navy Beans ................ ........... Csc
s pounds best Breakfast Rolled Oat-
10 bars best brands Laundry Soap .25c
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
Explaining His Condition

And you tell your wife everythingT'
We'll. yes"
Did you tell her that 1 brought you homo
the other night when you couldn't remember
your street or NUMBER"
Il didn't tell her that. She looked out of
the window and saw you"
And what did you tell herr"
II told her that you had one OF the worst
cases OF contagious intoxication had ever
been exposed to"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
National Greetings.

How do you doT'-that is English and
American.
How do you carry yourself?"-is French.
How do you stand?"-is Italian.
How do you find yodrself?"-is German.
How do You fare?"-is Dutch.
How can yOu?"-is Swedish.
How do you perspire?"-is Egyptian.
How is your stomach" Have you
eaten your rice?"-is Chinese.
How do you have yourself?"--is Polish.
How do you live n?"-that is Russian
MAY thy shadow never grow lessr'-is
Persian; and all mean much the same thing.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
Yerkes-Mizne r.


The BRIDE Mrs Miner formerly Mrs
Charles T. Yerkes, is 81 years old.
She is fond of travel
She is devoted to art.
She loves the companionship Of young
persons and clever persons.
She is very charitable.
She is to build hospital,
She is worth $2OOO,OOO in her own right
has Jewels estimated to be worth 100000
and enjoys the income on $75O0,O00 for life.
The bridegroom. Wilson Miner. is 20
years old.
He is cool, worldly wise and typical
man about town.
He is fond OF travel, has been almost all
over the United States and spent three
years in the ISlondike seeking gold.
He is just feet 8 inches in height, has
broad shoulders. large blue eyes. blacA
hair and strong. even. glistening white
teeth.
His nerve has made him the hero OF
many tales OF daring out in San Francisco.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
Takes Fourth Wife at Seventy.

Relatives OF William Adams, a prominent
and wealthy farmer who resides four miles
east OF Jeffersonville. Ind, were surprised
to learn that he had been married in Louis
Vile to Mrs. Sarah Alkaline Heuser Of
Crandall, Harrison county, Ind, and was
well on his way to Florida for a bridal
trip. 1t had been known for some time that
Mr.. Adams contemplated getting married.
but objections were interposed by his rela-
tives and 1t was thought the match had
been broken on. When he left home he
did not tell his housekeeper. she being the
only other member of the family. what his
intentions were.
Mr.. Adams and Mrs. Heuser met in
Louisville and the ceremony was per-
formed. The marriage Is the fourth of
the groom, who will be 70 years old next
May. and the second Of the bride. who is
As and was divorced from her first hus-
band.
When the friends Of Mr. Adams learned
of his marriage they began at once to in
Quire when he would return home, and the
reception he will receive promises to be
one that he will not forget soon. Mr.
Adams owns one Of the best farms in JEFF
fersonville township and takes a pride In
raising fine crops
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
Mems and Ladies' Furnishing Specials

LADIES SKIRTS-Made extra full beau
tiful lace and insertion or embroidery
flounces and underlay dust ruffle, zzr
worth up to 50, at sl.9S. $3.50. $3.50, 4 ~
LADIES GOWNS-Made extra long and
full trimmed, with laces, embroideries
am Snd to washable .a at CSC ribbons aDS worth 75C
Pk RET IYrg Muslin Ii sos sHISTsIn Csc
FROM TILL 10 A. M.-Ladies gowns,
corset covers and drawers, well made,
lace oetb and e tn 10 yb6 trimmed 30C
MEMS NEGLIGEE SHIRTS-In fine
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11

lSSMsssJ shot and instantly killed by his
49,, Letter Forbes, also farmers son,
in Israel Hill, Prince Edward county.
The men fought with pistols. They went
from ball room together and took aim
by the light pouring through the windows.
Forbes was engaged to wed Miss Rosa
Carew, and he escorted her to the ball.
Walker had been an old sweetheart of the
young woman and when they met at the
ball he renewed his suit. There had been
reports of the engagement being broken
between Forbes and Miss Carew. and II
appeared these were confirmed by her en-
couraging Walker. She danced with him
repeatedly, until Forbes jealousy drove him
to fury. He went to Walker and upbraided
two decided to fight to the death. Without
telling a word of their intention to anyone
they disappeared from the ball room, and
the pistol shots stopped dance when 1t
was In full swing. silence fell over the
brilliantly lighted room, and then several
persons rushed to the windows.
A sight more dramatic than IL shown on
a stage met heir gaze. Two beams OF light
poured out and one fell on Walker, fiat
on his back, dead. and the other on
Forbes, standing with the pistol still ready
in hand and with his face still set in hate
and determination. Miss Carew became
hysterical when she realized what had
happened and is In a serious condition.
Forbes is in the lookup.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
Three Queer birds.

The trumpeter bird is the ragpicker of
the woods and swamps of Guiana, where
he Is always at work at his trade, with
MS stomach for a pack and his bill for
nook. He performs a most useful but
most extraordinary service, devouring
perfect multitude of snakes, frogs scorp-
ions spiders, lizards and like creatures
But this terrible bird can be made per-
fectly tame.
On the Guiana plantations he may be
seen fraternizing with the chickens, ducks
and turkeys. accompanying them in their
walks, defending them from their enemies
separating quarreler with strokes of his
BILL sustaining the young and feeble, and
waking the echoes with his trumpet while
he brings home his fiocks at night.
The trumpeter is as handsome as he is
useful. Noble and naughty In his aspect
he raises himself up on his long. yellow
gathered legs and seems to say, II am the
trumpeter, the scourge OF reptiles and the
protector of the focks."
In southern Africa there is another great
exterminator of reptiles-snake-eater or
secretary bird-a magnificent creature which
attacks the largest serpents, making a
shield Of his wings and sword of his
beak. The name Of secretary bird" is
ward from his head. which look like quill
pens carried behind ones ear.
In South America, in the very neighbor-
hood Of the trumpeter's home, there lives
the "kamichi," or "kamiki." who wears a
sharp horn projecting from his fofehead
and murderous spur upon each of his
wings. With these three weapons the SCRIP
ents that he attacks are powerless against
him and are easily put to death.
The secretary bird. the kamichi and the
trumpeter form valiant and useful trio
The trumpeter has two merits above the
others-the ease with which he can be
domesticated and his great musical talent
The natives have a saying that he has
swallowed cornet. Whether promenading
or war-making he fills the air with his
trumpet calls. and at the sound OF his
voice of brass the reptiles take to flight.
Presently the bird arrives, Mapping his
wings and welding them like a sword
Having killed the serpent. the trumpeteI
sounds his blast of victory as he had
sounded his charge.-Youth's Companion.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11

&C Wholesale
1 pound can Assorted Soups .............. 81
2-pound can Fancy Sweet Sugar Corn. Sc
Oil Sardines, per can ............o......... 81
Bromangelon, Jellycon or Jello, pkg. IN,
l pound cans Fancy Alaska Salmon. 81
cans Fancy Table Apricots or Peaches
per can .....,.. ............s.......,.. .lZl9t
"A pound cans Breakfast Cocoa .7ht
l pound package Condensed Mince Meat *
mound ........... .............-....-...... g.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
A Robin that Reasoned.

Showing the motherly care of robin. an
exchange relates the following beautiful in
stance:
"A robins nest was filled with young ones
In sight Of friends window. The mother
bird was away, when violent thunder
storm came up AS the heavy drops began
20 pour down, she returned. and the little
ones greeted her mouth. expecting the usual
food. She pressed them down with her
foot and sat on them with extended wings
TO shed the hard rain. and remained there
TIL the storm was over.
was there not process OF reason here
She saw the hsasy dOhnpour OF rain and
thinking OF her exposed children. believed
they would be hurt or drowned without her
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
Entertaining Little Stories for Little People

care so she hurried back. This is called in
stinct, but instinct is concentrated wisdom,
without the process being made known"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-02-11
TerseIy Told Tales Both Grim and Gay

go ter sleep, when l could a-gone up ter
Their tavern al Their Corners an a-seen old
Bill Hardtree dew 1t fer nothin'!"