New-York tribune., 1906-07-10
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


The late Sir wilfrid Lawson. the most famous
temperance advocate in England was the target
OF the political wits During his last campaign for
Parliament Sir Wilfrid was greeted as a 'pere-
grinating pump handle" "an old cracked teapot"
"a confscatory mollycoddle." a washed out
water party" "a pop bottle pump orator. "the
apostle Of slops," "a maudlin rnountebank'' and
"a buffoon." The last epithet was so often
hurled at Sir Wilfrid that he remarked IL reminded
him Of "Selah'' in the Psalms. His hatred OF war
and rum led an epigram which has frequently
been repeated. 1.-THE country" he said, sis gov
erned by two heather deites. Bacchus and Mars
or IN other words. by the god OF bottles and the
god Of battles'
Ready for a Test.-"Do you think that absence
really makes the heart grow fonder?'' inquired the
Salle4g, s3lnleg man who was not particularly welcome
aws Was te sdTns gU th s attss
PittsbuFg Post. anu We - See
The socialist citizens Of Paris were greatly
shocked the other day TO see workmen putting up
an altar In the Musee Cluny. How could the state
after the Separation law. pay for the erection OF
an altar? They discovered that the altar was not
to be used for religious services, but only as an
exhibit OF rare seventeenth century carving The
altar has history. Il was carved out Of white
marble by some Of the first priests TO settle In
Martinique, and then erected as the high altar
in the cathedral Of St. Pierre Il was all that re-
ton three years ago.
THE CLASS IN AMERICAN HISTORY.
What made Columbus think the world
Was was round. the class declare.
He found It was not square,
Have we our heroes much In mind?
and do we hold them dear?
oh, yes; and that's one reason why
We all do Paul Revere
Pray. how came Washington 70 be
A writer Of FenOWn?
because he from the very first
Began to cut things down"
c&R WGZ you 1reG& tel & when his oi cake was dough-
He had good eause-fOr Benedict
he was a married man.
1nT0 10 +Ta TTing ce'GtP electric fhiight zig to-, ,
Ben Franklin's little kite"
When signers brave defed King George
With whom did they their honor pledge?
why, with their uncle-Sam"
And when the siege of New Orleans
The British set about,
Old jackson baled them OUT
What battle of the Civil War
When that strife had begun,
The battle Of Bull Run
What present the United States
when il despaired OF canal
We gave its Colon aid
Why does the money of our land
Show cause its worth to trust?
Baltimore American.
Thirteen hours is the record for waltzlne IN
France and belongs to Italian. Ten competitors
including several energetic children started danc-
ing in Paris recently at / a. m. At 5 the last |
child had dropped down from exhaustion and was !
put. none too soon, to bed. AT noon OF two COM |
petitors remaining, gave up-and then there |
one. He waltzed for two hours longer, but /
his legs sank beneath him-and there were none Il
He had danced six women nearly 70 death during
his performance.
Old Bus Horse (to his companions after sadly
contemplating one Of the new automobile busses1-
tell you over and again that all this wouldn't
have happened # we'd only had the sense form /
a labor union.-FfgarO
Secretary Wilson OF the Department Of Agricult-
ure tells story Of a Connecticut farmhand's /
methods of weather prophecy.
This farmland believed he could foreten the i
weather infallibIy'' said Secretary Wilson ION Il
walk with one afternoon a frog croaked and Il
he said:
- We will have clear weather for twenty-four
hours. When frog croaks in the afternoon YOU /
may be sure Of twenty-eour hours OF sunshine We II
walked on and in twenty minutes or so a heavy
shower came up. and were both drenched 10 Il
the skin.
You fine weather prophet said /, as we |
ought to be ashamed OF yourself
" oh. well.' said the farmland. the frog lied i
It's to blame. not me- Am responsible for the II
morals Of that particular frog2 "
Easing His Conscence-The Rev Mr. C2oodr,an
inspecting himself In mlrror)-CarOline 7 don't
really believe l ought TO wear this wig. 10 looks
Mrs. Goodman-Bess your heart Avery don't
let that trouble you. That wig will never fool any
body for one moment-ChicagO Tribune.