The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-10-02

bass. which makes his face very led.
The musical drummer Is n poor judge
Of human nature: for. although Ii i
tire most absurd form of Jealousy, there
are lots OF people who have no earthly
r.ason for wanting To know how 10
sing, who are MORALLY offended with
anybody who does know or thinks ne
knows, how 10 sing. Even the Lowry
bell-boy IS a born enemy Of the musical
drummer, and disda!ns 10 treat him
with any sort Of attention, even n tie
hope of getting Il liberal tip.
The epicurean commercial tourist
COMFORTS himself like ordinary people
until he gets To the table. and tEe-e
his pure ~cusSednesS breaks out-like
Artemus Wards niue, which was 4
good mule ali its life just 10 get T.
chance TO kick somebody. Some tine
Ago., during the progress 81 an import
ant trial in superior court, when | had
10 be down own all the time Ia Keep
up with the proceedings for the press,
| one day took advantage Of the crowd
at the hotel Lafayette, and the con-
fusion Of marching the jury in and out
Of the dining room, ID slip up the back
stairs, and procure q bountiful meal
without registering. without money.
and without price-and the seat assign
ed TO me was next TO n of these hons
viviants Of the road" | may not be a
Judge of good eating, but l thought i
| was a fine spread-far letter than !
/, get up at my place. There We're good
| vegetable soup, gibbet stew, roast beef
with grayey. smothered chicken, North
| Carolina ~Side-bacOn with cabbage, Eau
died vans. creamed Irish potatoes, ice,
| tomatoes, stewed corn. celery, olives,
cottage pudding, mince and apple pie,
fruit and plan cake. coffee. iced tea
| and milk. l worked my way through
| the bill of fare from top 10 bottom.
and know what l am talking about.
| But the apicuIe was plainly in trouble.
and l BEGAN TO fear lest he should
suffer from the pangs of hunger. lie
| did not seem to Re as much concerned
| in what the menu did comprise as in
what it did not COmprish. H asked
! the waiter why they did not have con-
| somme (Which he pronounced cons
| may) champienon b~leuberts, pate DE
| fOie PerigOrd, pOmmes de terre rats,
| etc, the head waiter being called into
| the conference two or three times.
| But toward the last my mind began TO
| Dts ItIlSh Su Will tlS tohh maj b4AFI
| house was coming out on top; for as
| | pushed my chair back, | overheard
! the following remarks. The epicure
| asked Jim Reeves, the head waiter.
if he was ever in New York. Yes.
suh,' replied Jim with the Prince AL
bert bow so much admired by the
guests of this excellent tavern, Il wuz
! fust waitah at DelmOnico's, Sherry's,
I C,fo sJ,-4;- do I~;f.h 1ra,nND IN 10
Walladup-Castoria. an | lef Nu IOrk
cause | couldn't git muffin titten 10
eat, subj"
But the travelling salesman is not the
only one who attitudiniZes before the
grand stand. and plays to the gods of
the gallery When | was a boy
going t O school at Alexandria, Va,
near Washington city, the late Warren
Winslow, of Fayetteville, nobly repre-
sented this district in congress-; and,
ever kindly and courteous as he was,
showed me all over the national capitol
and carried me into the senate chamber
where thai august body was hen in
session. He called my attention TO a
desk set off to itself. and out of the
tier Of senatorial seats. and said "Tha;
is the desk of Senator --, and h
has had it placed there for no other
purpose than to attract the attention
of strangers, and have them to ASK
who occupies it. Yet this senator is rs
wise as Pericles, as just as Aristides,
as patriotic as ThemistOcles, as bril-
liant as AAlcibaides. The incense OF
public applause is as the very breath
of his nostrils. Oh, the frailty, the
weakness Of human ~nature.'
AS Deacon BedOtt said TO Widow Be
dott (of course, before she became
Widow Bedott), Betsy we're all poos
critters" All of us-yOu and I-squint
at the grand stand, and expect bou-
QuetS and hand-clapping from the gal
lery gods. When the train stops at the
village station, we look out of the car
window with a far away Travelled look.
to provoke the enviOuS admiration o.
the poor cOuntryman who never went
anywhere, as if we were just passing
through from Patagonia on u way &c
Tronjum. We pose before our wife
(whO always finds US out, and laugh
in her Sleeye), INC before our children
(whO think us Il wOnCer), We V pose
before our friends and acquaintance
(who are posing too. and each goes
off. calling the other a c0nceited bore.
Vanity OF VanltleS; ali IS vanity,
sail the preacher.
The democrats 70 be between
the devil and the Geep sea- The
leaders and The press can apparently
find no man to nominate other thar "
J. Bryan, though some Of them tight
shy Of government ownership. and
| some openly Cenounce this o Wis
ionary rainbow chas5r ever held as a
policy by a public man. Rich anC
powerful rs it is, how could the Cnited
States pay s13. 900. 600. 900 for the trunk
lines of this country, and how could
the tates pay hundreds Of millions o.
dollars for the branch lines? Nor.t
| Carolina owns on railroad. and il Is
a white elephant" Mr.. Bryan poses
os an opponent Of trusts and monopo'
lies, but he is advocating the mos
gigantic monopoly OF modern times
which would crush all private enter
rr;Soc IN -ha+ fold aSDocially in -Ef