Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-06-09
SUNNY SIGNS OF THE TIMES
Jests that Took the Rough Edge
from Misfortune In san
Francisco.

Jests that Took the Rough Edge
from Misfortune In san
Francisco.
II is not dif1cult to understnd why IL
was that Nero fddled while Rome was
burning. The signs on the walls Of San
Francisco seem to be written in the same
spirit of humor that led Nero to fiddle. 1t
was altogether the most sensible thing that
anyone in Rome was doing at the time.
On the side OF one Of the curbstone
kitchens on Sacramento street some I'M
crowned Nero wrote:
Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow
there may be another earthquake"
1t wasn't meant to be taken too serl-
ously. Anyone could see that It was a
joke. And as a Joke it was more helpful
than another wall sign, which read:
Unless We repent, We shall all likewise
perish"
And by the way, the context from which
that sentence was taken admonishes US
not to imagine that those who persisted
were sinners.
A church in the Western addition had a
sign painted over its door One word was
I'm big, flaming letters, and that one word
was-'hen."
An inscription below, in smaller char
acters, gave the added information:
AT 7:45 p. m. Sunday
But to return to the humorous side of IL.
Those inscriptions on the sides of the curb
kitchens represented the greatest discom-
fort Of the hour. and they were literally
covered with testing.
Don't kiss the cook!" That was what
somebody chalked on the side OF his cook
house. "salmi of duck all the time; lob
ster Neuberg ready SOON" was the cheer
full, IL not accurate, bill OF fare displ1 yed
on another.
All the famous restaurants OF San Fran
cisco had located on the curbs-if you be-
lieved the signs on the streets. One was
called the "FaIrmont" and another across
the street advertised itself as the Unfair
| mont. The "Wayside Inn and the Inside
Out" were neighbors, and the House of
Mirth" looked little like one of those
New England barnyard structures that are
put up at Thanksgiving for the smoking of
hams and bacon.
Earthquake shakes were advertised at
cents per glass, and the "Do-drop In"
was the caption Of a rustic kitchen COM
posed of window blinds, REINFORCED with
!. mating. One, less optimistic, wrote:
! Out in the cold world
Out in the street.
! But it was not long before someone
added:
But what's the use of kicking
! When you've got enough to eat?
l Someone advertised her cooking thus:
House of Mystery pies, 81"
over the tables in one of the more pre-
tentious restaurants was the printed ad-
vice:
'Tf the waiter does not please you, shoot
him; but for Gods sake don't Shoot the
cook. for We can't get another. He's doing
his best"
Water, both fried and boiled" was
some humorist's idea OF what the Board
OF Health meant by writing in chalk on
all the blind walls advice not to drink I'M
cooked water
Apropos Of the Board OF Health, its in
dustry led it to placard the city with
minute instructions about necessary but
usually unmentioned things.
One unconscious humorist- advertised
'freid eggs" at reasonable rate, but he
was almost equaled by two doctors who
advertised that they has moved" Evil
IDENTIFY the trembler made them both feel
small.
The commercial signs took up the spirit
OF humor where the rustic kitchen left
off, when the gas was turned on in the
houses.
Safes opened free for those who are
unable to pay" was the rather puzzlins
sign displayed at the foot OF Market street
At the top OF flight OF marble step.
that no longer led anywhere was a marbI,
slab taken from the ruins and doing duty
as a directory Of the tenants who hac
J been forced TO move on account OF altera
tions on April IS
I'VE want you to know that we are still
! alive and quite WE'LL was the sign thai
appeared at the peak OF heap OF ruin
on Market street.
Pushed to the wall, but coming through
and expect to land at No. - street
indicated that one Arm had not lost III
! ability to see the funny side OF things.
over the skeleton of a temporary struc
ture on Fillmore street is the following
! poetic flight.
! Hold the fort for We are coming,
And coming mighty strong;
IL won't be long till things are humming
And we'll help you jog along.
Lots cleaned" was a sign OF doubtful
import. but the statement OF one art re
pairer that NO job is too dlficult fo
US expressed the spirit Of the times TO
nicely.
, THE bakery that fed San Francise,
I without light and without power" &C
, knowledged its pride all over the town
and a merchant who got corner lot 70
, his temporary shack expressed his pleasure
! In large letters by the statement that III
hasn't got the clothing market cornered
but he has got a corner in the new cIothinl
district" and he added that his stool
was coming ''as fast as the choo-ehoo car
can bring It,"
"As soon as the kinks are straightene,
out" is the way a railroad ONCE set IA
time for its return to its Market stree
ONCE; and a lawyer hung out a sign frou
the tenth story OF ruined skyscrape
with the information that he had move,
because the elevators were not running -
: San Francisco Chronicle.
+ No trouble 70 ind lost articles IL 70
B | adVertlse for them IN the ..Ioail cnlurnI