New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-01-23
THE Talk OF THE DAY

veteran Of the Civil War used 10 tell this story
OF war times: A young Irishman named Thomas
Smith was IN his company They had been several
days without sighting the enemy. but one morning
the rebels surprised them and the bullets were fly
ing thick and fast.
Tom turned and started to run as fast as his legs
could carry him. The captain OF his company
shouted. Halt. I Will shoot"'
Shoot and be id" cried Tom: what's one
bullet TO a basketfuI"
NO NECESSARY SIGNIFICANCE
A robin redbreast, thinking # was May.
ARRRe a T5a, mt IN town , one January day
The robin redbreast was blooming Jay
Chicago Tribune.
The Atchison Globe prints this cheering item,
Don't exaggerate your handicaps. II you have the
desire. any handicap may be overcome. John
O'Grady. OF McKeesport. Penn, was born without
arms. but when arrested yesterday for throwing
hrickbats at his wife ne whipped the police
men who arrested him. and made his escape. StIu
he was badly handicapped"
His sPecialty.-Mrs: Knicker-Is your husband an
Mrs Bocker-NO but he does powerful lot OF
grumbling during tt-tBrOoklyn Life
Now we'll read the seventh OF Matthew said
mamma, opening her Bible; and little Efie. with
some little difficulty. found the chapter. according
70 The London Chronicle" But why don't We
read the right part OF the Bible?" asked Efte
The Bible is all right" replied mamma. But
there's parts Carer corrected marnma)
There parts better than others. be
the prayer book says Maynt we read
Mark DO you like Mark2'' asked mamma NO
but" said Efie, L always pray Read Mark
Learn. and inndly dejest.'"
THE SEASONS.
In the summer in the summer
When the grass Is bright and green.
Butt their heads against the screen.
Puts his time in making hay.
And the whole worlds hot and dusty.
Then the ice man has his day.
In the winter. in the winter.
When the days short and cold.
Feels Ike sixty bent and old
When your feet and hands are frozen
Till you don't know which is which.
When the mercury goes down cellar.
Then the coal man getteth rich
The Parliament OF Australia had an all night
session recently. II must have been a pict,ras7,,a
proceeding. The ringing OF bells which occurred
at frequent intervals when vigiIant member drew
attention to the absence OF A quorum supplied a
kind Of triangle accompaniment TO the trombone
ike notes OF the slespers' Under these circ,rn-
stances, the remark OF Joseph Cook who com
planned loudly OF the dumb. dead silence OF the
sleeping members, must have been ironical The
sleepers were unmoved. however. The Postmaster
General was in charge OF the bill but We are told
his head began fall gracefully forward upon his
breast. and he pulled up his collar. as II seeking
more warmth" MI Cook was naturally Indignant
Here is the Minister In charge Of these proDosaIs
sleeping like a bird with his head upon his shout
oer- ne exclaimed NVldly- little later another
member rose TO point Of order. rs an honorabl.
member in order in snoring loudly that I cannot
hear7'
A Naughty Cook Patience-Dtd the cook give
you any notice when she leaving7
PatTice-No. she hardly noticed Us at ALT Cyon-
kers Statesman ~"
The Wise (Va) News says. Monday at the
home Of William Fawbush. Parson Joe straley had
the honor Of uniting a former husband and wife I'm
the holy bonds Of matrimony. 1t an illustration
OF the old suggestion-if first you don't succeed
try. try again"
He (cauuously)-Would you say Yes II 1 asked
you 20 marry me2
she talso uslyl-Would you ask me to marry
you you thought ia say Yes ILLUSTRATED Bits
Sir Edward Clarke. speaking at a political meet
Ing In London the other day was asked by "a very
dirty laoorer who had been INDUCING too extern
sively In liquor what Sir Onward was prepared to
do for the unemployed Wash him was the brief
reply
sCnooIboy in kasposvar. in Hungary having
ialled ia an examination on the works OF Eazinczy
locsI writer. nred revolver Kazinczy's srat1I
rms IS not encouraging to those who are anxious
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