The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-10-28
A HUMORIST'S PILGRIMAGE
He Goes to StrAtfOrd-on-Avon and Takes Huge Doses Of
Shakespeariana-
BY CHARLES BATTELL LOOMS

sightseeing II the JnlnB dOONe I'LL biAnBS
that I'd like to do II l really cared for 1t. 1t
Ii so stimulating to the imagination to stand
before the tomb OF a departed worthy OF
whom you heard for the first time the day
before yesterday and reflect that 500 years
ago he stood on that very spot and ak
about, using his legs just the same as you,
Of whom no one ever heard, use yours. At
any rate it seems as il it ought to be stimu-
lsting to visit these haunts and resting
places OF departed great ones, but Q =
matter Of fact it is not.
Just when you are feeling absolutely
ravepous and see a most enticing inn COW
cred with green ivy and yellow thstch, you
learn that you must forego luncheon and
push on just because thet tomb OF the wicked
Duke Of Portchester il five miles up hill with
the north wind in your face and something
the matter with YOU bicycle and you no
mechanic.
1t is good to be alive in foreign lands, II is
good to be alive anywhere, for the matter OF
that, but Sightseeing as sightseeing is the
last thing a sightseer ought to attempt.
Let the sights come unexpected like.
Admire the ruin through a loophole OF
which you see the young moon and next
day when you learn that the name Of the
ruin Is Levin Castle on Loeb Levin FROM
which Mary Queen of Scots escaped weeks
and weeks and weeks ago you are bound to
get q belated thrill, bu go to see that ruin
awheel, pushing your wheel up unclimbable
hills, and you'll wish that Mary had never at
tempted to leave the gloomy old hole when
you finally reach it-with no moon in sight.
Last week l ran across Messenger and We
decided to do Stratford-onlAvon, where
the man who VT ote the plays that Bacon
couldn't have written Il you'd bribed him
to do it and wouldn't have written II he'd
possessed the ability (despising players
ss he did lived and died-and was born.
OF course l refer to Shakespeare in spite
of the ConVolutions Of my English.
Il was a matter OF fifty-hve miles by
wheel to Stratford from Wallingf ord, and
10 set out with light hearts, because l
had read somewhere that that is the proper
way to begin q journey. Now. n q matter
Of fact, wallingfor itself is full Of the
hallowedest kind Of memories.
Why, they don't ring the curfew until
O'Clock instead Of 8, because when William
the Conqueror landed there the first man
be saw In the little orowd drawn up to well
como the genial Norman was an old school,
fellow OF his.
sWhat time do they ring the curfew;
me old college chum7' said william in his
debonAire way.
AT 9, your Destroyership.' said the
man. who happened to be the Mayor Of
wallinRford.
y Hereafter let it be 0 until clocks do no
more run.
And as clocks are still running the Walling-
fordizens may play out In the street until
all honest persons are supposed to have
gone home.
But although I had made Wallingford
my headquarters for some time l had pur-
posely refrained from going TO the spot
where all these footballs fell because it is
SO much pIeasanter to play tennis in this
century than to dwell on the acts Of the
mighty in times that are pretty well gone
forever as near as l can make out.
But here we were going to visit the tomb
OF the real William the ~Conqueror. whose
winters Tale with Ellen Terry as Her
mionc, is filling Beerbohm Trees theatre
every night and causing honest English
men TO laugh a. hard as il they had never
heard from their American cousins that
there is no such thing as English humor
and that Englishmen can't see a joke
Where was l?
Oh, about m miles on our way
to Stratford, with the north wind in our
faces, but our hearts still light. You SEQ
the countryside in Oxfordshire is 80 beau
tiful that a fellow can't help feeling light
hearted, even going TO visit . tomb,
We passed quickly through Oxford, and
40 escaped seeing any Of the show colleges,
I've seen 30 many limitations Of Oxford in
American college towns that the real thing
we'll, we scorched through Oxford.
feel that l will be set down as a Philistine
r. don't stop long enough to say hat some
weeks before we had done Samuel John
eonIs room and leak and the window out
OF which he threw the shoes also, Sir Joshua
Reynolds's sepia window that was painted
by some one else) and the Magdalen clois-
<ers, and Worcester Gardens where, by
the way, we saw a don who was fishing in
the winding stream pull out 9 tench that
weighed a full two pounds and which he
said at the time weighed q good three,
I dare say his fellow Ions heard IL was four
and q half.
IL will be realized that having seen Oxford
with all the proper emotions we weren't
going to see it again just for fun. So vi
pressed on and the north wind continued to
DtOW IN u way 10 mhA0 oNOu w "hOoAAH6
somethinR Of an effort. When night fell we
had lone forty-eight miles and were tired
out and Stratford ten miles away.
What IL we should die in the night,
saId Messenger, without having seen
Shakespeare's tombl'
II was q depressing possibility. for now
that I couldn't lay my hands on Il l wanted
70 see Il.
But having in mind what the poet had
said about tired natures sweet restOrer,
We resolved 10 try It's virtue and put up In
q hosiery that had been bedding and meal
ing people for five or six hundred years.
Forty-eight miles In a north wind gives q
fellow a light stomach, sven II his heart has
become somewhat heavy, and we did JUS
lice to our simple but toothsome repast
served by a pleasing maid and retired to
sleep the sleep Of absolutely good men
Oh, IL men would only cry absolute good
moss as q cure for insomnia.
Next morning we rose betimes-betimes
IL just the word TO use in speaking Of such
a relic Of bygone times as was our inn
and once more facing the north wind we
continued our journey to the place that
onca aaohoad ko the f0otetepA" OF ~The