St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-04-06

Those pesky flies with the GUS
tomary :."'.. are now showing up.
Did you ever know a girl who
eloped that wasn't "a vivacious,
charming girl, highly esteemed by
allP' / never did.
The Mutual Life Insurance COM
pany now promises to reform. |"
Nothing short of peruna can ever
place that company again upon its
feet.
Now is the time a man dopes
your fruit trees and makes your
orchard look like a whitewashed
henhouse. Good for your trees,
though.
The "made-in-O Oregon exhibit
soon to be given in Portland will,
no doubt, contain several thousand
babies. These will ''goo-goo' to
the spectators, and will look cute.
When married woman sues n
spinster because the husband fell in
love with the unkissed:woman, who
loses' Money is a sort of a salve
to heal the wounds that dalliance
gives.
A woman's exchange" is to be
started in Portland. That's a
place where a man takes his thirty.
year.old wife and changes her for
a twenty-with trading stamp
rebate.
That man, $. A. ID. Puter ought
to have another 80 in his name.
The manner in which he gets away
from the police shows that he Is
more Of "putter" than he Is a
''puter."
The Herald has been started at
Helix. II was positive as to
which syllable in Helix was yelled
out the stronger I'd know better
what the outcome of the paper
would he.
In Washington a steel company
has just been incorporated. This
Is not the first steal company
that has been incorporated in our
sister state-and will probably not
be the last,
New football rules are about to
be adopted. One Of these will be
that when a man is killed in the
battle the funeral expenses shall be
paid from the gate receip,s-and no
questions asked" Good rule.
Authorities at Washington have
found that the Standard Oil Com
pany is trust-aud will prosecute
Il, This is startling ii true. ! had
supposed the thing was a trust -
but ! cannot understand how the
secret leaked out,
Male theatre-goers in Paris wear
their tall high hats to the theatre
and keep them on during the per
formance. That is a good way to
square up with the dear women,
bless 'em, who wear their hats in
church--and shut off the view.
Those Portland preachers dis,
cussing Is marriage a succcssl pare
surely we'll paired. The married
preacher says il isn't-and the
bachelor says tbs. That's just the
way; the less we know of a subject
the better able we are to praise it.
Mayor Lane has vetoed the fran
chise allowing heating plant to be
conducted for the public good in
Portland. Evidently he considers
that he will be made hot enough
artificial means. Butt
is cold lane that has no heating!
Because the husband of a black.
haired woman went TO his home in
Seattle the other night with a
blonde hair on his sleeve his wife |
shot him and afterwards abused |
him SO that his life was in danger. |
ISN'T it odd how some women will |
pick up little thing like that hair
md make trouble over itl
Now for breakfast food factory
or Portland. A big cereal COM
,any, figuring that lumber is cheap
md sawdust at a very low figure,
S about to start plant. Shredded
ir biscuit, evaporated cedar saw
lust, bitemeoff (petri6ed pine
aud such things will be
manufactured. The many sheep
anches also will furnish good
Material for Stickum-the great
ereal coffee.
TuapN