davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1906-01-07
Being the More Less Sad Tale of Mr. gg His Ideas About Fish,
nd an ObSre Cow

"Pious idee." the captain admit
ted, helping MI. Fligg aboard.
Together they poled the Carrie n.
alongside the ice factory wharf and
made fast under the derrick A
canvas sling formed of spare sail
was passed beLeatL the stomach OF
May Louise and the ends knotted at
her back The derrick boom was
then swung out and the chain hook
ed into the sling. Mr.. Fligg and
Captain Piker manned the windlass
and began to grind May Louise into
the atmosphere, while Mr.. Lukens
stood by ready to receive the cargo
the moment it landed. Slowly the
COW rose out of the floating cellar,
as the piano tuner named il. She
kicked a little at first and snCrted
once or twice. but on finding she
wasn't fatally injured, May Louise
su 0sided like a sensible COW. 1t
took but an instant to hoist her
clear Of the hold, after which the
boom, with the COW dangling at the
peak. was swung around over the
wharf.
Lower away" yelled Mr.. Lux
ems.
The chain had got jammed in
the top pulley, and refused to bulge.
Some excitement of the best grade
prevailed. while May Louise gave an
imitation of the COW which jumped
over the moon. only she did all her
jumping in the sling Her spine
arched up like a wagon bow, her tail
became rigid, and a string OF fiimy
g0ssamer oozed out of her oper face
and foated away in the sunshine
For Gods sake. get busy" said
Mr.. Lukens. DO you want to hang
my new cow"
Mr.. Fligg let go the windlass.
where he and the captain had beer
o. serving May Louise grabbed a
short iron bar. with which he shin
ned up the derrick mast. and trieC
TO pry the kink out OF the chain. /
resisted his efforts. however, anC
the COW emitted a muf1ed groan.
why don't you help him, yoI
The Washington times., 1906-01-07

shove. said Nj Lukens. in a strong
voice.
The crowd that had gathered in
the meantime began to laugh, and
Captain Piker grew vexed. Like
wise he swore and didn't care who
heard him.
Shove her cut yourself; it's your
GOVT" he howled
III be eyerlastingly dad hinged
if / do, said Alr. Lukens, in a tone
that left no room for argument 4
can handle a COW on land, but I'll
be hanged if / know how to get one
out Of a floating cellar"
Then back she goes to the island,
and I'll sell her for the freight bill"
Yes you will"
That's what | amt running no
cow excursions for my health-not
this winter"
Captain Piker. still swearing,
started to cast of his mooring lines;
and things were looking bad for
May Louise. when the immaculate
Mr. F'ligg. in his best Sunday
clothes, came hustling back from a
trip down the beach. The old man
at once cut out his religious scru-
pies against toiling on the Sabbath.
and elected himself master of cere-
monies
Please desist gents" he said.
waving one hand at the whiskered
Captain Piker and the other at the
piano tuner BE cam and cheerful.
As this here job is work of neces-
sity, / viii save May Louise. Gents,
he continued, slowly, so as to OBJ
serve the effect Of the words. I've
just borrowed the derrick down to
the ice factory"
Them shore is glad tidings," said
Captain Piker His tones were re-
plete with admiration Did you
bring the derrick with you?"
Don't be so prodigious," Mr..
FIigg retorted. mildly. Help is at
hand. We all can pole the schooner
TO where the derrick is at and hoist
the COW out"
The Washington times., 1906-01-07
FIgg Replied.

a handsome present, and he named
the animal Nay Louise right of the
reel All the COW cost him was
her passage, $40. from Hook Island.
BY his direction Captain Piker land
ed the schooner alongside the wharf.
This was a matter of some difficulty,
owing to the breeze; but Captain
Piker is skilled navigator. He
knows how 20 handle boats much
bigger than the Carrie Nation The
next problem was how to unload the
COW. That thought struck Mr.. Lux
ems a severe jolt as he stood on the
wharf looking down at his one-eyed
milk fountain.
We'll, why don't you take her
out?" he said to the captain, tying
q moose in the end &C the lead rope.
That's your business" replied
the skipper. I allowed to fetch
the brute to port for $40, and l don't
intend to hire no stevedores. See?"
This deep-sea retort staggered MIR.
Lukens, who looked first at May
Louise and then at the bit of
clothesline he carried.
How did you get her in there?"
he asked, after a brief period Of
thought
Showed her in. We hitched a line
around her horns, backed her over
the edge Of tie hatch and lowered
away. That's how we got her in"
Then 'sposen You shove her out
now, seeing you're so good on the
The Washington times., 1906-01-07

that quiet place? How could we hope
TO arrest them flushed with the tri-
umpE of so splendid a prize? To be
truthful, 1 began To feel Il certain anN-
iety for our position, though upon
Grey's face. showing white in the
gloom. was look of perfect serenity
a look that I could not understand
Mercy, OH, mercy"
1t was a trembling wall of terror Il
vail that was suddenly bIotted out
by roar like the challenge OF bull.
From within the house came the crash
of overturned chairs and the jingle
of breaking /glass. And all the time
the shrieks and hoarse rawlings drew
nearer and louder. until. with a loud
: bang. the hall door was flung open
and a man tumbled down the steps as
if thrown from a catapult His assaii-
ant, in black silhouette against the
hall lights, hesitated d moment, stick
in hand. Then, with a shout OF rage,
he sprang forward and struck at the
moaning wretch who squirmed on the
gravel at his feet
Now, Jack Steadman. that is quite
enough" said me Inspector, pushing
mis- way through the laurels.
And who may you be?" cried the
other. with a furious oath.
My name is Addison Grey, of the
criminal investigation department of
Scotland Yard, and l arrest you both
for being concerned in the robbery Of
a valuable diamond, the property OF
Mr. Julius Tauberry''
Stolen a diamond he beloved,
DO you call that a diamond?"
He flung down a stone that sparkled
in the lights behind him. and stamped
il into the gravel with his heel.
II am aware that it is the imita-
tion,' said che inspector. But 1t was
not your fault that you missed the
real thing. have a cab waiting.
You had better come with me quietly.
The Washington times., 1906-01-07

Copyright. 1905, by Charles Dryden)
Y n MEEK and lOwly observance
of the occasion, which was
Sunday, the esteemed Mr..
Fligg burst upon the COM
munity all lit up in his best
clothes. Our urbane and gentleman
ly wharf repairer infested a wine
colored flannel shirt and an Alice
blue tie, knotted sailor fashion;
derby hat too small for him. clean
Overalls and green kid shoes. Those
were his Sunday go-to-meetings,
and Mr., Fligg, in a quiet and unas-
Stunning manner, lined up TO the dig
nifty of his correct but not snowy
raiment
In the pocket of the wine-colored
shirt he carried the Markings pack
age of Queen Bee tobacco and brown
papers. Over one ear was stuck a
block of matches. The only work
Mr.. Fligg does on Sunday is to
manipulate the makings, strike
matches and blow smoke through
his nose.
We all dress up on the day of
rest and take life easy, which state
ment is made TO free Mr.. Fligg from
suspicion of being the only dude in
town. We are a religious and law
abiding community. l even fOrego
my red sweater on the Lords day
and listen % the morning church
bells ring. In the afternoon | wig
gle along the beach with my hands
in my pockets, and sometimes sit
with Mr. Flgs on a wharf he re
paired during the secular hours.
Once week he takes q day OF, puts
on his store clothes and loafs around
the bathing wharves. It is so rest
ful to let the legs hang over with
out touching the wa,er.
I'm thinking some about fish
lust now" said MI Fligg, directing
a yirtuous look at the green kid
shoes.
There Is but one pair of such
kicks. mems size, built in the United
States per annum, and somebody
at Dope Springs always holds the
winning ticket I'm glad Mr.. Fligg
IS lucky, since the shoes become him
plenty. The tops are OF green cloth,
dotted down the sides with white
pearl buttons to deceive the public,
for, in private. the green kid shoes
are congress CATERS. However, no
one here is aware Of the deception,
and I'm not mean enough 10 shatteT
Mir. FIigg's fashionable dream.
Men and FISH is much alike the
tidenat philosopher went on. Their
mouths get EN- into all the trouD.e
worth having. If we had gills like
fish and our own proper intellects,
there wouldn't be no troubles
ashore
The Washington times., 1906-01-07

Continued from Eighth Pagc)
taking note of affairs. It was not the
first time that the i1spec-1r had IN
ploved him. as 1 learned aftorward. and
the man knew has business.
suddenly our cab whisked around and
set off at a rapid pace. The stranger
had selected a fast horse, that was evil
dent We swung through maze or
narrow streets, tUCged up long NM
sliirted "a stretch of open common-a
part OF Hampstead Heath, / believe
and finally stopped in the shade OF
some tail trees. As 1 got out l saw the
lights of the chaise stationary at some
distance up tnc road.
There may be trouble. Mr.. Phillips,
whispered the little detective. Tn not
certain 1 ought TO bring you alonS. II
anything
NONSENSE" I interrupted, glancing
down at him with some amusement.
well. take this, anyway. ! had II
from ii German burglar
He thrust strip of hardened rubber
into my hand. about eighteen inches in
lenCth by two in thickness.
1T viii stun a man without leaving a
mark" lie said, gently.
The four wheeler that we had follow
ed was waiting before green door set
in a high brick wall. Without any at
tempt at concealment. Grey walked to
the door and tried the handle. 1t was
not locked, and We passed into a fair
sized garden, set about with flower beds
ana clumps of laurel. In the middle l
could see the outline of a square gray
house Two Of the ground-fioor rooms
glowed behind their curtains; the rest
was darkness.
We crossed a corner of the lawn and
stopped behind patch of bushes di-
rectly IN front of the entrance porch.
The night was very still anG silent.
What desperate men were gathered in
The Washington times., 1906-01-07

whiskered idiot?" shrieked Mr.. Lsk-
ems.
AS Captain Piker was the only
gentleman in the crowd with foliage
on his face. he at once recognized
his number, dropped the windIass
crank and started up to help Mr..
Fligg. While the captain cTawied
along the boom the derrick swung
back over the schooner until the
squiTming COW hung suspended
above the little cabin. Just as the
captain reached Mr.. Fligg the latter
gave the damned chain lucky prod.
The gear let itself 90 IN bunches,
and May Louise came down all
spraddled out She landed on the
frail roof OF the cabin. and weht
through il with d noise like d "a.
road collision.
An instant later the half-Lreed
cook sailed out of the gap where
the COW went in, and made a high
dive into the hold. He thought he
village had cayed in on him. Tb=e
May Louise had things pretty much
her own way. She reared and plung-
ed. and snOTted and kicked in
ladylike manner. until she cleaned
everything out Of the cabin bat the
deck. Hot stove lids. boiling pots.
pans, and deep-sea furniture topped
into the brine She kicked out the
hunks. gored holes in the mattress
es. smashed the forward bulkhead,
and wound up the entire perform
ance by jumping overheard
ITO the rescue," said Mr.. Fligg,
in tragic accents, and over he went
in his best suit of clothes. gree n kid
shoes and all. II the COW had in
jured herself. he was just the man
10 repair her in the water. But May
Louise was intact. and so were the
sling and chain, clinging TO her per-
son. The crowd on the wharf drag
ged her out, after which the piano
tuner paid the $40 freight bill aId
led the cow away.
But little more remains 10 be said
about these damp and dismal do
ings. From the expurgated reLia RI j
OF Captain Piker it appears he will
lavish something like s65 worth OF
extensive repairs on his schooner.
which sum exceeds the value of the
COW before she ever thought of go
ing TO sea. AS for artistic Mr.. FIigg,
he sought an isolated wharf, and sat
in the sun to dry his Sunday-go-tO-
meetings. The green kid shoes vii!
never again be the same.
1T was a work of necessity, -
said Mr.. Fligg, ''or mebby I just
butted in. l amt shore which.
There is one thing certain; you can Z
make no sailor out of a COW"
The Washington times., 1906-01-07

n ONE Of the strangest stories in
the annals of crime are those
which tell of the part dreams
have played in the discovery OF
criminals. says Tid-Bits.
One spring day in 1880 a farm Iaborer,
when passing a lonely mountain lake in
Sutherlandshire. saw in the waters a
to be that OF well-known peddler who
had mysteriously vanished about
month earlier.
The body bore marks of violence. the
pockets were empty. and it was clear
that the poor fellow had been brutality
murdered and robbed-but by whom?
That was mystery which for many
d week completely defied elucidation.
One night. however, Kenneth Fraser,
tailor's assistant. saw In a dream the
cottage of a man. Hugh Macleod, and
heard a voice say in Gaelic. The ped
dier's pack is lying in cairn of stones
in a hole near this house" He told the
story Of this singular dream to the
authorities, who accompanied him 70
Macleod's house. and there. sure enough,
beneath a heap of stones, the murdered
mans property was found Macleod was
arrested. confessed and was executed.
Another very remarkable story is told
of a tragedy in Ireland One evening
two strangers presented themselves at a
wayside inn, near Portland, and after
taking refreshments continued their
The Washington times., 1906-01-07

Steadman had clustered. and Hon.
George Carstairs has sroveled and
whined thither. they had consented 10
go at last. And there I had left the
detective and his prisoners. driving 20
my rooms 10 await his return.
The Washington times., 1906-01-07
the COW out

THE case was not quite so difficult
as Won suppose, Mr.. Phillips" he said.
i'm answer to my question You re
member that I believed the diamond
10 be stiu in the house,
Certainly"
The Washington times., 1906-01-07

And I warn you. Steadmau. that any
thing YOU say viii be used in evidence
against YOU"
1t was after ? in the morning he
fore the inspector tapped at the door
OF my rooms. I had made the fourth
or that old cab load to the nearest
The Washington times., 1906-01-07
SURE, THEY DO.

Doctors are the meanest men,
The fact twist as they will;
For even when they treat man
'Chey make him pay the bill.
Baltimore American.
The Washington times., 1906-01-07

Next Sunday-''who Killed Sir An
drew Cheyne?"
The Washington times., 1906-01-07

Continued from Eighth Pagc)
The Republican journal., 1906-09-13
Trust to Nature.

A great many Americans. both men
and women, are thin. pale ana puny, with
Door circulation. because they have Iii
treated their stomachs by hasty eating
or too much eating, by consuming alco-
hoic beverages, or by too close conhne-
ment to home, office or factory, ana IN
consequence the stomach must be treated
in a natural way before they can rectify
their earlier mistakes. The muscles in
many such people, in fact in every weary,
thin and thin blooded person, do their
work with great difficulty. AS result
fatigue comes early, is extreme and lasts
long. The demand for nutritive aid is
ahead of the supply. To insure perfect
health every tissue, bone, nerve and
muscle should take from the blood GER
tain materials and return to it certain
Others 1t is necessary to prepare the
stomach for the work Of taking up from
the food what is necessary to make good,
rich, red blood We must go to Nature
for the remedy. There. were certain
roots known to the Indians of this
country before the advent OF the whites
the settlers and which are now growing
RAPIDLY in professional favor for the cure
of obstinate stomach and liver troubles.
These are found to be safe and yet GER
tain in their cleansing and invigorating
effect upon the stomach, liver and blood.
These are: Golden Seal roof, queen >
root. Stone root, Bloodroot. Mandrake
root. Then there is Black Cherry bark.
The medicinal principles residing in these
native roots when extracted with ,glyc-
crime as solvent make the most relia bic
and efficient stomach tonic and liver in
vigorator, when combined in Just the
right proportions, as in pr; Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery. Where there
is bankrupt vitality such as nervous
blood the body acquires vigor and the tn
nerves, blood and all the tissues feel the
favorable effect of this sovereign remedy.
Although some physsieian1s - have 3aa - been cen
above mentioned plants, yet few nave
used pure glycerine as a solvent ana al 9
usually the doctors prescriptions called
for the ingredients in varying amounts,
With alcohol.
The Golden Medical Discovery Is a
scientific preparation compounded OF the
glyceric extracts Of the above mentioned
Vegetable ingredients and contains nc
alcohol or harmful habit-forming drugs.
The Republican journal., 1906-09-13
THE GENTLE ART OF LYING.

Very few of us, indeed, are exempt
from the charge of direct lying. Not
to mention the strategic lies told to
enemies in time of war, to criminals, to
sick persons and lunatics, as to which
pages upon pages of casuistry appear in
the older works on moral science, there
are what may be termed the lies lub-
ricant wrung from us by etiquette and
good breeding. If the amenities OF life
were not preserved through the gentle
art of lying, society could scarcely con-
tinue as happy family; we should all
have to live in separate cages. Inc
best of US will tell direct lies on trivial
ties where politeness is imperative:
Whereve1practicable however, the spirit
of advocacy prevails. We say whatever
we can truthfully, and tactfully pause
While the hearers self love and imagi-
nation fills out generally agreeable i'm
preston. Family relationships, even
more markedly than business or social
relations, exemplify the universal atti
tudc of advocacy. Mr.. Roundabout
says: "Go to Browns house and tell
Mrs. Brown and the young ladies what
YOU think of him, and see what a well
come you will get. In like manner, let
him come to your house and tell your
good lady his candid opinion of you,
and see how she will receive him." No
one save an unspeakable cad would
speak slightingly of husband to his
wife; no one save an unspeakable cad
would tolerate sighting language in his
presence concerning his wife. Such is
the conventional law as to spouses,
parents, children, blood relations in
general, even intimate friends W llDur
Larremore, in the September Atlantic.
The Republican journal., 1906-09-13
ILL FROM OVERWORK.

Nervous Prostitution Cured by DR.. Williams
Pink Pills. by Toning up the Blood and
Nerves Patient Recovered Wei ght, Strength
and Good Spirits.
When the nervous system is broken down
from overwork, or whatever cause, life loses
its joys. Not only is the nervous victim a
sufferer himself but he is usually trial to
the whole family. Nervous breakdown is
often gradual, appearing at first to be mere
Nv an unusual fretfulness. DR.. Williams
Pink Pills tone up the nerves in the most
direct way and not only cures minor troubles
but serious disorders as well.
Mr.. W. W. Munroe of Is Hazel Park, Ev-
erett, Mass, says: "About four years ago
this September | became all run down from
oyerWork and from confinement to work
during warm weather For two months l
grew steadily worse. lost in weight and
strength and had no appetite. My memory
failed me quite rapidly and | became in a
ly. | took no interest in life, neither in
business or recreation. In my position, as
foreman in a large manufacturing chemists
establishment in Boston, good memory is
absolutely essential to success because OF
the immense amount OF detail that must De
carried in the head.
81 grew very despairing, could not bear
to have people meet me and my friends re-
marked on my condition. About the middle
of December friend told me one day that
he had tried Dr. Williams Pink Pills and
found them reliable. | commenced taking
them and at the end of two weeks the
change for the better was remarked by
friends. continued using the pills until
was thoroughly recovered. | regard them
as fine remedy and make this statement
voluntarily in gratitude for the benefit l re-
ceived from them"
If you are a sufferer from any disorder OF
the blood and nerves write to the DR.. Will
liams Medicine Co., Schenectady, \. y, for
proof of what DR.. Williams Pink Pills have
accomplished in cases similar to yours.
Every testimonial published by this COM
pany is carefully investigated before being
published and is authentic.
DR.. Williams Pink Pills are sold by all
druggists, or direct by mail postpaid, on re-
ceipt of price, so cents per box. six boxes
for So
The Republican journal., 1906-09-13
WEDDING BELLS.

ELLIs-SoPER At the residence of Mr..
and Mrs. Arthur Soper of Orland at noon
on Saturday, September LIST, the wedding OF
Miss Hattie Nj. Soper of Bucksport and
Charles Ellis of Milo took place. The house
was prettly trimmed for the occasion and
the ceremony was performed in the pres
ence of only the immediate relatives. After
the wedding quiet dinner was held, then
after this few friends called to wish the
young couple much happiness and "a long
life to enjoy this same happiness. The
was attended by her little niece and nephew.
Ouida Soper and Harold Soper. Mrs. Ellis
is a great favorite and much beloved by all
and is very successful teacher. She
graduated from the Castine Normal School
in the class of 1906. She has taught with
much success in Orrington. Mr.. Ellis is a
very fine man and is taking Mrs. Ellis to a
particularly pleasant home in Milo. Mr
and Mrs. Ellis left on the afternoon train
Saturday for Milo, where they will reside
in the future.