St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-03-16

.gTS&zssGE
Two telephone people were mar
ried at Albany last week. Busy
nowp
At Adams they hang washing in
an odd place. The Advance speaks
OF a wash out Oh the pipe line"
Last Friday was called "a rare
day." TO my notion it was well
done and hot, right off the plat
ter.
A colony Of Poles is to be es-
tablished at Albany. II they will
only raise hop-poles they can all do
big business.
So many connubial knots tied by
pastors are slipped off by the courts
that the marriage knot has become
sort of a slipknot.
March started in like a sweetfaced
woman-but last Sunday and Mon.
day she was bowling like a baby
with the wind collie.
II is now time to press your last
summers suit. II II wont bear
pressing Use court plaster-and
stiffen the creases with gum shel.
lac.
Because Alice promised to" obey"
Nicholas he thinks he can govern
the whole state OF Ohio. Con
sequently he is once more in poll
tics.
Barring a backset" the mayor
Of Scio will soon recover. We
trust the old man will bar the back
set-and everything else that is
handy.
Saturday will he green ribbon
day" for the most of us. After all,
there's nothing too good for the
Irish" and everyone goes greening
on the seventeenth.
II IL IN really a fact that "your
credit is good as so many stores
advertise, why is il that they ask
fellow to sign such a cast.iron
agreement to pay OF give the goods
back
Census reports show that In
America 6S buttons each year are
made for every man. woman aud
child. Yet il bothers a fellow
awfully 10 find that missing sus-
pender button.
Italy has offered a large prize for
plans of a dwelling best suited to
climatic conditions. A like offer
for Southern California would
doubtless bring out a residence
made of sponges. (This is sup
posed to be a joke; sponge-to alb
sorb water; sponge-to procure
living by "sponging" npon Others.
Seel)
When the flowers are blooming,
aud the bees and butterflies are on
the wing-as they are in Oregon
today" = Ad in last Sundays
paper. The ad was a bit high
colored. sunday was the coolest
day In six wears and the only bees
and butterflies seen around here
were viewed by the absent treat
ment.
Coming west the other day over
the Union Pacific a crowd of us
were in the smoker when the talk
turned to individual names. II
think ! have the hardest name III
the crowdr' said foreign-looking
man. At once three others asserted
that that was an error-because. as
each said, his name was harder
than the other mans. 1t was
finally agreed that each of the four
should toss dollar into my hat
and the one with the hardest name
should take the pot, l was wedged
into the smoking compartment SO
that | couldn't get out and the
money was safe with me. my
name is Schrymgeourzot, said the
first man-snd he looked as ii l
ought to give him the money with
out delay. Said the second man,
MY name is Hardwoode." and l
sure thought the money was going
his way, Stone is my name-and
that is the hardest of the lot"
said the next man-and l knew the
money was his. "Pll take that
said the fourth man, my
name is the hardest of the lot"
What is il l asked. When he
aid Steele" l turned the money
over to him without comment.
THORN.