The newspaper., 1906-05-11


point in their relationship that they
glared at each other when they met
and clinched fists behind their backs.
But as far as they could see, the
widow inclined neither to one or the
other. If she praised the Cap'n for
his good nature and funny stories,
she gave him fits the next moment
for his awkwardness.
A commentator of Mournful
Mullen's handiness was always fol-
lowed by some such sentiment as
this: "But, oh, that face OF yours
would sour cream! How a man can
go through this world and not
laugh is more than can understand.
No wonder your first wife couldn't
stand ft.''
When the Cap'n presented himself
on that day, which will ever remain
memorable in Smyrna, the widow
was in the barn crying $50, boss"
in agitated tones. So the Cap'n
hastened in. He caught at the side
of the door to hold himself up and
stammered wordlessly in his amaze
ment.
There stood Maybelle arrayed as
to her hind legs in neat gingham
pantaloons, the waist of which was
voluminous enough to cover her
body to the neck. The widow was
even then pantingly and perspiringly
trying to make the cow hoist her
fore feet so that another set OF pant
aloons could be fitted there. But
Maybelle was snorting madly and
trying to kick loose.
Its for the fiies!' explained the
widow, almost in tears. But she
don't seem to appreciate it mite,
Cap'n Sprague. Won't you lend a
hand to help 'em on? l know she's
goin' to appreciate 'em after she
gets wonted."
1t was the supreme test Of the old
skipper's self control, but he masked
his indignant, resentment at being
asked to play lady's maid to Jer-
sey COW. First he knotted the end
of the long halter about his wrist
and with both hands free sought to
force the COW into her new gingham
raiment. She stepped on his feet,
she tucked one of her brass tipped
horns up under his. chin and made
him bite his tongue. She crowded
him and bunted him. And at last
while he was trying to tie the strap
of the trousers over her back, she
stepped on both of his feet at once
and gave him an uppercut with her
blunt horn that nearly lifted OFF his
head.
Then the wrath that he had been
days the Cap'n had been renowned
as the most able handler of profan-
ity between Quoddy Head and Flor
ida Keys. For many months he had
bottledit-there had been no especial
occasion that demanded it-but
now
There don't nobody hit me
more'n four times without gittin' it
back.' he beloved, and then he be-
gan on Mabelle with tongue and
fist. They tore half a dozen times
around the barn floor, the widow
getting in a few pecks at the Cap'n
with a fork handle and hitting the
maddened Maybelle as many times.
Then they burst out into the yard.
"Mournful Mullens was just com
ing in at the gate. Five times the
parade passed him, racing around
the yard. Maybelle in those inde-
scribable "pants," the Cap'n firmly
attached to her by the rope knotted
about his wrist and running as he
had never run before, in an effort to
catch up and wreak more vengeance.
On the sixth round he had forgot
ten revenge and was simply laboring
for enough slack to cast himself
loose. But his wind was giving out,
and Maybelle, besides having four
legs to his two, was now in n state
bordering on the bysterical, II cows
ever have Mysteries.
When the widow rushed in front
of her and threw up her arms with an
appealing $50. boss' she lodged,
1nna and lnpnn1 ha