The Washington herald., 1906-10-21
GOING ABROAD
Feminine Ramber's Ideas Upon Travelling in Europe.


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Globe Trolteru-A female past middle age.
spiEster class, travelling an Agency ticket,
with fsld glass and portmanteau
Feminine kambleT''-A pretty woman, age
Irnnlaterlal, gut for entertainment accompanied
by a oounubial attache. progressive luggage and
no plans.
Z Belonging to the later class. and appre-
ciating that the average woman believes
a trip abroad to be both strenuous and
much preparation undertaking, I am in
duced 70 prove the contrary fact. and
beg the reader to consider me a human,
limber-backed Baedeker, warranted to
stay open at any page.
To begin with. it is unspeakable non
sense 10 plan foreign tour and cultivate
the mind in advance. That rubs the
bloom of The peach. Ever hear of the
man who was advised to get in training
for the French ball. and took so much
Of the advice that when the hour for go
ing arrived he had to send his regrets
in the single-word telegram. over
uained?" A mapped-out trip 10 Europe
is like that. An inspiration jaunt is way
ahead OF an information drag, and il is
poor intellectual soil that does not prove
tropically fertile when the right sort Of
experience-seed drops into it.
Get on board an ocean liner directly you
see a clear way through your pocket
book TO crossing the Atlantic A long
preparation is as fatal as long engage
ment Hurry into the matrimony Of the
idea before you know too much. Never
mind about "A course Of languages at the
Berlitz school. Take q German steamer,
a phrase-bOok, and bunch of traveller s
checks. and trust 10 heaven every one on
shipbOaTd is as ignorant Of your language
as YOU are Of theirs. a twelve days vOy-
age viii be d liberal course in German
at bottom rates The phrase-book will
give you a vocabulary and Timber your
tongue, the travellers checks viii teach
you to spend marks and pfennigs. and
the stewards viii just egg you into a love
for everything Dutch. ! speak from ex-
peTienCe.
had three days contemplation of my
trip. and Jack-Jack is my husband-had
less, for he never cares how Ikdispose of
his vacation time. provided something
agreeable is on. Wen. this time ] decided
upon Europe. and thought vaguely of two
months on the continent, seeing sights.
The idea came 10 me one night when
lobster salad kept me awake. BY eleven
in the morning Jack and ] We're booked
on a slowgoing steamer bound for the
north of Germany The next day Jack
heard about it,, and the day after that
we were off IL really does not take I0ng
10 negotiate "a loan between small chill
dren and grandparents, close a house, and
pack provided a woman puts her mind 10
H.
When we were rid OF the several hun
dred kissing fower-giving tear-shedding
friends and relatives that crowded the
space. afterWard filled by nifty passen-
gers, I discovered ] was tired. Fortified
by "a box of fat chocolates-the Offering
of man who was clever enough 90 write
"Bon-bon voyage upon his cdTd-I flung
myself into my berth. determined 70
spend at least two rizZling lazy days
resting. Upon my soul. ] enjoyed Them
Ennui was impossible. for / was never
left 10 myself for more than ten minutes
I learned TO doze away these ten min
utes between the interesting visits 10
which I was treated
y Wistful-eyed. mOtheTly stewardess
would come into my cabin and coo per
suasions that I should eat Exhibits a
81 and . appeared for Inspection. and !
was palpably or the sick list if 7 refused
10 sample them. Then. the room steward
would shower me ut intervals with crash
and linen. 7 am positive that ii single
bath towel would have furnished SUI
fcient and heavy enough material fOl
toboggan suit for Jack, jr., and ] wa.
several times tempted 70 cut out a shirt
waist from "a hand towel
Next would appear "a steward offering
'leming drinks" Ask a German fol
lemonade and he will bring you horrid
yellow pop. put up in barber-shop bot
tie. Then the sandwich tray. and an,
steamiRg bullion. and the sweet cakes and
cOffee-a perfect procession Of visitation.
conducted with such informaIity of en-
trance and such tenders Of interest that
felt Ike a royal infant with many
guardians.
How did I manage to understand them
Why, ] could not help myself. they were
SO ready with gestures and I was So
ready with my phrase book. BY the sec
Ond day I could ask for anything / want
ed. and I had the family history OF IN,
stegardess down pat 1 experienced al
the delights OF an explorer during thai
TWO weeks voyage With the exception
d. they
were sick most Of the time / was in the
midst of Germans. Some Were American
born, but they tried TO hide the fact, 50
! was compelled TO employ my ears anc
tongue il I wanted TO mingle German,
arc distinctly friendly. There is but one
thing they are better at. and that is eat
ing Their capacity is amazing. The
German heart and stomach is equally
large. and l have profound respect fol
both. The first week 7 was lazy enough
10 brush my teeth from my berth the
WashstGnd was so conveniently near. anC
let those dear menials coddie and indulge
me 70 their hearts content, but the sec
ond week was one delicious round OF
ocean dissipation. There were so many
things happening, first a school OF whales
@poutin6 playfully a quarter Of a mile
from the steamer, then an iceberg OF
huge dimensions. then flying fish and
sportive DOTD0ises. and always the ocean
swell that broke over the dipping bow OF
spent itself in rainbow spray.
That iceberg was the mosta trapped
thing Imaginable. The first officer in
formed us there were polar bears upon it
but 1 felt positive OF only the former
fact. The chief danger Of an iceberg i.
mat H. lCdi lliilieliSil4 II belOW the sur
face of the sea, and in a dense fog OF
the darkness of night q ships keel i.
likely 10 ground. upon ice while the tower,
ing walls Of the berg are stilI many fee
distant German sailors have a word FOL
iceberg that is similar in meaning TO om
tramp" Jack made up this frivolou.
eonundrum:
why is a tramp on the sea like 3
tramp on Iand2''
Answer-They both keep their heads ou
Of water
The Germans did not catch the humol
Of H. -