Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-06-02
NNNNN-NNNN-no~

~huu SCt SohhS HtIsouS say ludt mar
riage is a failure.-New York Sun.
His Wife-Have you had bad day.
DEAR The Flnancier-Yes, l lost over
$250,o00. And the worst OF it is that
nearly $lo0 of that was my own mon
ey Life.
Uncle How do you like your employ
err? Tommy think he's bigoted. Tn
cle-ln what way? Tommy-Well, he
links dat words oughter be spelt bis
way all de time.
Molly is a student at one of
the hig colleges. Polly-Nonsense He
talked with MS for an hour when he
was here yesterday and never used
bit of slang Somerville Journal.
This flower is strictly up-to-date
said the florist What do you mean
by thatY' asked the prospective Gus
toner, Why" he explained. at was
obtained by grating. "-Detroit Free
Press.
is she pretty?" they asked of the
young man who was speaking of his
tiancee. Well | don't want TO boast"
he replied. but she always gets n seat
in crowded street car."-Stray
Stories.
IL the sweet girl graduate of last
June hasn't got school or an engage
ment ring yet, IL is high time for her
TO study shorthand and hustle around
To get a job at typewriting. -Somer-
VILE Journal.
Ferdy-R Really, Patrick, I'd rather
| ride Staggers than take spin In the
touring car. The Groom-Sure. tits
in that Staggers is ownly a wan-hoss-
power hoss.-puck.
"He claims that he built the first
passenger elevators used In this coun-
| try" Nonsense! The Mississippi
steamboats, were running and blowing
up regularly long before he was born"
Philadelphia Press.
No. my little girl, l can't lend your
mother any -four or oil or butter or
! hatrons or lamps or potatoes or any
! thing else that she sent you over for,
! hut go back and tell her | have Il lot
of trouble she can borrow. - Baltimore
| American
Mother Come now, WILL If you'll
| only lee good I'll give you penny.
Willie Nom; / won't be good for
less'n five cents. Mother-Why, you
were good yesterday for "A penny. VIII
lie / know, but yesterday was bargain
day Philadelphia Press.
First Girl What are you waiting
for? Why don't you finish your letter
to Ella? Second Grill don't know
whether to say Ever yours, with truest
love" or simply Yours affectionately. D"
You see. can't endure EllaI think
she's detestabe Tit Bits.
See herer' snapped the landlord,
who had responded to the tenants hur-
ry call for n plumber. 81 thought YOU
said the water in your cellar was two
feet deep. ITS only few Inches "
well, That's ms deep rs my two feet, -
retorted the tenant, and that's too
much,
Clara Did the papers notice your
father at the great banquet? johnny
Yes Clara Well mamma said she
could not SEE his name on the list
Johnny No; but the list ends up with
land others" That means papa. They
always mention him that way.--lus-
| trated Bits.
Magistrate and NJ. P-After mature
and careful consideration Of your case,
/ have come TO the conclusion that you
are lazy, good ornothing rogue. May
| I ask II you ever earned a shilling In
your life? PrisOner--Oh, yes, | have,
yer 'onor. | voted fer yer 'onor once.
The Sketch.
| Tom-IOok at that crowd Of women
trying To get in that department store.
Dick Yes, It's n regular crush. Tom
But it's so early. Why, the doors
aren't open yet Dick-Yes, they're the
women who followed the line Of advice
| In the advertisement "Come early and
avoid IT.. .ush. Catholic Standard
aGl Times
The desperate man, weary Of life.
opencd an upper window in the sky
scraper and threw himself out. He
landed on top of load Of mattresses
with which teamster happened to be
driving along at the moment Hang
| The luck :" no exclaimed, as he rose 10
! him feet. shook himself, and found that
hr was practically unlnjurcd. Il might
| have known this would be the result
Of jumping from the thirteenth floor ;"
Mrs. Jenner Lee Ondego had just re-
turned from her summer vacation
MY goodness :" she exclaimed as she
inspected the alterations that had been
made In the house during her absence.
This isn't the Kind Of wall paper !
wnpted. 1t won't harmonic with my