The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-04-06

IT,: HORSE EDITOR AT WORE
inc to PRINT in this column today, then
We VIII E.3D the t3"se business and
become a Le.l grower. Read:
We have been asked to subscribe
$3.50 toward building a Baptist church
in GiTcGdam Gulch. We won't give
% cents. If they manage to get a
church here we shall take great pleas
uro in burning it down and in chewing
the ears off any galoot who comes
around asking questions. won't the
editor hop when he reads the above!
His mother belongs to the Baptist be-
lief.)
While there are seven so called doc
tors in this town, six Of them are such
arrant quacks that we wouldn't trust
them to pull a thorn out Of a dogs foot.
The only real NJ. D. in the lot is DR..
Ferguson. The others ought to be rid
den out of town on a rail. CDR. Fergu-
son is the biggest quack of all. The ed
itOr will have a circus with the other
six.)
If the postmaster general had the in
terests Of this community at heart he
wouldn't be over fifteen minutes re-
moving the galoot who has held the po-
sition Of postmaster for the last three
years and who has been anything but
a credit to the service he represents.
Bounce him out, and the quicker the
better! CAS- the editor is also the post
master, the above will come to him red
hot.)
The Blue Hill Banner asks if there is
q Nero in Arizona. There is, and his
name is Jim Hellso, editor of this pa
per and mayor of this town. He feels
that he carries the whole territory in
his vest pocket and that no one else has
any rights. Why don't the people rebel
and hang him to the nearest limb?
CHATS plum center, Jim, and how do
you like it?)
The editor of this paper
the circulation Of the Kicker to be
about 4,OOO,O 600 and gaining at the rate
Of $4,000 a week. The true figures are
1880, and he hasn't put on seven new
subscribers in a year. Advertisers can
depend upon these figures being posi-
lively correct. Sorry to give the editor
away, but we can't do any lying on 50
per week. He should have come up to
u figures when we asked him to, in
stead of saying that the honor alone
was worth $50 per Week.)
The only theater in this town is a
ramshackle old barn Of a place, infest-
ed with rats as big as jack rabbits, and
any theatrical company that would
play an engagement in it deserves to
be shot Off the stage. Don't let the
willy me deceive you. CThe above
theater is generally referred to by the
editor, who owns it, as Hellso's Opera
House. Everybody else refers to it as
a Hellso of 4 place.
The editor Of the Kicker has always
! made g great ado about his guns and
the way he bluffs this and that one.
We know Il TO be 4 fact that lis nat
ural weapon is a club and that when
he meets up with 4 shooter he is ready
to take 4 back seat at once. No one
need K afraid o. him. It is true that
he us two old guns. but they are
entirely for show. there's our full
house. lin. Dare you call it0
On various occasions the editor Of
this paper has referred to his esteemed
contemporary Of the Lop-Horn as q
driveling old idiot who graduated from
g cheese factory and whose weekly
journal had a circulation OF less than
400. We take tiis opportunity to sa-
that Mr. Titus is 4 learned n and
has a fine form and an ;ateiiectuaI
face. In fact. there is nothing OF the
tough or the loafer about him. and his