Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-28
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

Tin this column will be answered all que ,tisns OF
| proper nature submitted 10 The Star. lnquirers
tiers to .Unce Jasper, Star Office. In case Of an.
hcult conundrums answers may be delayed for Q
for all auestonsrs to watch this column carefully.
A. B. M-why is it that the ordinary
criminal doesn't weigh as much as the
| average honest man? A.-why. criminals
are usually light Fingered. Guess that
| must be the reason.
MRS. g. B. S., Jr.-I have just employed
| new German cook and do not wish to
treat her as one of the family. How shall
arrange matters? A.-Have your husband
kiss her twice day.
LITTLE wIFE.-It is cold in our fiat and
| the janitor Is Indifferent and won't do any,
thing. What is the quickest way OF having
the steam turned on A.-Give the jani-
| tors wife a peek-a-boo shirt waist. This
has never been known to fail.
My Bonnie lies under the auto:
My Bonnie swears under the
Please send to the garage for some
For It's lonesome Up here where 1 are.
B. A. CT have friend-a sweet. dear.
innocent girl-and 1 learned this morning
that she Is engaged to one Of the fastest
young men of this city. Uncle Jasper how
IT'S quite simple. The young man probably
wasn't quite fast enough-to escape.
Last Sunday we Induced a portIy friend
OF ours to lie on his back and then we laid
pedometer on his stomach and handed
him our personally conducted column OF
Jasperettes. He laughed sixty-three and
quarter miles. Since then we have applied
for an increase in salary.
A. NJ. R-Please tell me the best remedy
for night sweats. A.-Join the union and
do your sweating in the day time. II that
doesn't suit. see doctor. This is no medi-
cal dictionary.
ADA-I am only twenty-eight and
young friend of sixteen has proposed to me.
l like him frightfully What shall I do?
A.-Uncle Jasper realizes the fact that this
is probably the last CALL but be careful.
Ada. be careful There's a law against
| catching Holsters too young.
Did you ever think what a mystery it is
the way miss can mislead mister.
c. L. B.-I saw in The Star the other
day that Mrs. had applied for d.
vorce. How did the trouble start? A.
We happen to know about that, as our
| cook has great regard for the law. whose
name Is O'Rourke. Mrs. was putting
| up some preserves. when her husband, who
| is a food inspector by employment. hap.
| pened In the kitchen. 1t was awful. Mrs.
- gets the custody Of the children.
ARTHUR-what is the difference be-
tween genius and stupidity? A.-Genius Is
| the capacity for work while stupidity Is
| the inability to make others do 1t for you.
MOTORMANIAC.-If a man buys an
auto for $1,000 and sells it for $500 does he
make or lose? A.-That might fool some
people, but IT. a cinch to u.s. He loses $500.
| but he makes an oath never TO buy am
other.
HOUSEWIFE.-Pease. Uncle Jasper,
give me q recipe for a good PURGE. A.
Keep a kitten in the kitchen.
B. G. HI note that the weather bureau
confidently predicts a warm wave for the
latter part of November. What Is the exc
stranger to Washington. B. G. II. ConA
gress meets early In December.
PEDAGOG.-How did the expression as
shaky as a jellyfsh'' originate? Ave
are not sure, but opine there was a refer.
ence to the local school situation.
UNCLE JASPER.