New-York tribune., 1906-08-30
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

ningf Ethel-T think uncle must bel heard him
offer 10 carry auntie's clubs.-Funch
strange kite has been devised by a Swedish
engineer. II is made 20 fly under water Il is
made OF light canvas adjusted TO light but strong
metal frame, and in shape is not dlssmilar to the
aerial kite except that II is made in two sections
the lower and smaller depending from the
upper. with which It is connected by sort OF
coupling. The object sought by the engineer is
TO provide ships with ever ready automatic
guard watch that will give instant alarm IL the
vessel enters shOal waters and is approaching a
spot where the depth is not sufficient for safety.
The under water kite Is fastened 20 a thin wire
cable attached TO a winch on deck. The purpose of
the water kite is TO float beneath beside the ship
depth that is sufficient 20 insure safety If at
any time. day night, the lower section OF the
kite strikes bottom device instantly releases the
coupling with which it secured to the upper sec
ton. and alarm bell is sounded the deck OF
the endangered vessel. Precautions at once be
taken TO its safety. The kite meanwhile IS
drawn uD, readjusted and thrown overheard to
maintain It's faithful watch.
i. Heard on the street-First Artist-Have you
Second do-NOt yet. Don't you see. everybodys
talking about Rembrandt? We must wait until all
that noise is over.-HumOristische Blatter.
The school children have been contributing to
the worlds stock of knowledge 1.-The pig is a very
useful animal to a woman "A young cow IS
sometimes called OK. "One Of the stOmachs
Of the is shaped like the leaves Of the Bible
1.-The cows father Is called a bullock" Every
thing that lives on a farm called cattle"
When cow is alive 1t is used for to get milk
but when il is dead II is used for to get mutton
Some cows have horns and called bulls: the
male bulls called hefers." THE flesh Of the
lamb is called veal.
Two of Kind.-Newlywed Cproudly)-I aIwavs
make 1t point 10 tell my wife everything that
Old sport-Pooh. That's nothing tell my wife
Has fattIe e, 'nins' 'Ha' never happen at aLOnd0n
The tramp tarried at the door in rags and tat
ters. What do you want?" asked the master OF
the house, sternly please. sir. whined the beg
gar. I'm lOokin' for work. Have you any scrub
bin. washin, cleann' OF any kind what
soever?" The master paused, thinking how mis-
taken he had been In imagining the tramp was a
lazy vagabOnd. mo One," he said, would have
thought you wanted work Of that kind" mo more
I do" whined the tramp; Its work for my wife
that I'm huntin' for!,
THE BOY IN POINT
My name is Johnny I'm the how
Who asks ali sorts OF things
So Pa can make those bright replies
With real sarcastic filings.
I've got to ASK about divorce
So Pa start his bung;
So Pa can loose his tongue
They amt the things I care about
I've got a thankiess part,
To waste my time on silly stuff
So Pa can pose as smart.
Nov this Is what often think
And makes me wonder So
Why don't they print the things I ask
That Pa don't even know?
Puck.
Enthusiasts predict that the freight tunnels
in Chicago will increase the value Of real estate
in the city that in two years the assessable prom
erty will increase S259OoO,O00.
suspicious.-"Mother." says the doubling wife .y
do not believe Henry Is all that he should be-
What Is wrong with him now, Agnes? A short
time ago you were complaining that he stayed out
too late OF nights. Is he staying out later than
eVer?' '
NO. lie spends every evening at home now, and
on his conscience. "-LiiA