The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-11-19
Maybe %.

wonder whar l put thet thingf
DoGfetch SIGH plaguey luck.
Yew don't suppose it's over thar
Behind tibet mess O. truck?
Gee whix,
! thought hid her In tn barn
Above tn brindle caow,
But lest as sure ~ I'm Bud White
TIL blame thing amt thar naow.
BY hen.
I've searched beneath them cellar stair,
An pitched four ton O. hay
A-huntin' whar stuck tibet thing
Nrlong about last May.
By gosh,
rye moved the wood frum out tn shed
An cfaWled beneath TIL barn.
II 5sst erbout . minute moro
III cu0o-er say "Gol darn!"
YeW don't suppose thet Mary Ann
Hes TUX tibet wooden thing
T. turn her buckwheat aapjacks with
Hurray, abe hez, by ting!
Well. we'll,
Naow who'd suppose she'd thought o
Thar amt none list like her.
say. look-a' here. my gal. that amt
What thet snow-shovel's fer!
l know another man that lost his
this summer. too, and yesterday when
he had given up searching for 1t and
had about become resigned to buying
another. he found It in the parlor
where his daughter Lucille had
painted pitcher" on the blade.
1t does beat all what women will do
for arts sake.
But they do make fine pancake turn
Speaking Of crawling under the
barn, did I ever tell you how to get
rich quickly? Well. II you won't tell,
I don't mind letting you in on a good
thing. You see it's like this:
UNCLE BY's GET RICH QUICK
SCHEME.
Little Snapper, the pride OF Mudtur.
deville, was summing his variegated
bone-box on Eastwood stump, when
Johnnie Jones' aromatic dog came
swooping along the bayou bank after a
chipmunk.
Little Snapper let 60 his suction
hold on the slippery stump-and bling!
he slid along the incline and into the
cool water as slick as a boy can burn
q hole in his trousers coming down a
poplar tree after piece Ct hot mince
pie.
Getting rich is Just as easy, If you
know how. Some day when I get time,
am going to prove this, but just now
Uncle By's only desire is to get you
rich. Listen!
Start q chicken ranch!
The hens will lay for you, the roost.
ers will crow for you, and II you have
80 hens you will have 50 crops a year.
You can feed your chicken feed to
the chickens and reap guineas. If they
won't lay for you, make 'em!
Ill tell you how!
You know hen is female chicken
and OF course II she won't lay she
won't and that's all there Is to 1t.
The reason is because" but We will
shoe this away and build great, big
barn.
Stand the barn up on stilts or set it
On pumpkins, one under each corner.
When you have finished the barn
crawl under and holler for your wife.
Tell her to poke you a lot of nice,
clean buckwheat.cake straw. If she
can't poke 1t far enough, speak coax
tngly to her and say, Come ON under,
dearie!" in q brick.ice cream voice and
she'll come.
Then call the cog and get him to
turn round and round In the straw un.
til he has fashioned dandy lot of
hens nests. When the hired man has
pulled your wife out. feet first, you get
out IL you can. and rush over to the
hen house, cackling pleasantly.
Observation-Disclosures"
When you get the hens all together,
speak right out in the hen convention
and in stern voice pointedly warn
each individual hen never to lay an.
other egg under that barn as long as
she lives!
The next day you 60 to town and
hire small boy that won't suck eggs,
tie rope to his left leg. back up a
dray Of egg crates and sic" the boy
under the barn.
When he gets his hat full of eggs.
yank him out by the rope. II he should
complain Of friction in the region Of
his stomach, tie barrel stave over his
abdomen-hut don't lose tine. The
hens won't When you have got eggs
enough write Uncle BY testimonial.
p. s-To get religion along with
riches, save the yellow.legged eggs
and send them to the preacher in
nice wicker basket covered with the
fringed tidy Aunt Abbie sent you last
Christmas. And may st. Peter have
mercy On your insole.