St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-03-23
"A FEW----------
s'.HmTHORNS -..!

TM.e L(5R@UND
.-%nSSS,ss4z~.se
in Oregon CITY q COW has the
whooping cough Give her peruna.
Herr Most is dead at Cincinnati,
Ohio. Pleased ohcar it although
the news is Most too good TO be
true. Herr wasn't however.
In Portland All Sin, An Wing,
All Kim, All lie, All Mong and
All Kee were all before the police
court on charge oI fantan playing.
All There
The Telegramman speaks of
money, mere money as If il was
a common thing tor a newspaper
man to have money. Soon he II
spring something about Clothes,
mere clotbcsr
Now that "Rabhittville Bennett"
is IN Portland h. Is in "Care of Tom
Richardson. " II is understood
that the old "Rabbittville perscrip-
ton shop" is still being considered
10y the two cronies
In Saint Louis, Missouri, the
chief of police has given orders to
arrest every per'pn using slang in
JE audible tom of voice. Great
Scott What cinch every gaza-
boo OF cop would get in this
country!
Cheap notori,y i, helped along
by tie metropolitan press. In
order to swell the receipts OF
theatre IN Portland q column article
was Published Jult one OF the bum
actors was a murderer II worked
both the pres and the public.
An edict has gone forth that no
more kissing and spooning shall
take place III the vaults OF the
Multuomah county courthouse. II
,eems to me that It anyone can en-
joy themselves under any admins.
ton IN 80 simple a manner they
should be allowed to do 1t.
II is now pguiten,iary ofense to
play football iu Hcntucky.-[PresS
II was killed in old
Kentucky wherg the meadow grass
is blue: IL was laughter d in Keu'
lucky where the game has killed a
few; they thought twas awful
plucky down there in rare Ken.
tucky-butnow lis called unlucky;
ind ! they're right, don't your
That old gag about gold being
found iu chickens gillard is once
more going the rounds. This time
Il comes irom Pullman, Washing
ton, Ii the story could only be al,
tered % biz II would relieve the fear
iul mouotony. Why not find gold
coin, ldatc 1850 IN veal' Or
dix $40 bills out OF tripe harrcl9
There no Use IN wearing out the T.
old tale with yearly rcnovations.
Those new signs on the Portland 1
street ears arc very useful NJ times, !
SUNDAY morning, when the walks .
were slippery with newly fallen
SNOW, a big lat fellow sat down
very hard On an iron grating
The moment he struck and had
gotten hi, Jaws Jared loose a car
same along with the two large
letters cmhlaLoned on its front.
The letter, were NC" And
hats what The tat fellow said
II /, said that peruna derived its
iamc from The blunder OF a printer
who wls setting ont some circulars
D advertise imedicine. The head !
NJ on the CIRCULAR was "A Prune
locs Nou Good" The printer
'ivd the headline and when he put
m pAc, he mixed the fiIsl two
words Aplune" and when he took \
proof %! ,he job To the medicine :
nan n read "peruna does YOU
ood. This name tool" with
he mak,y and he at once re-wrote I
he cilcul1r calling the stuff
eIunl.
you are iU a hurry and wish to get a
man
"prop nickel, pleasew ]
you wish thy best Blue Rihbon--or to
merely rush the can
"prop a nickel, please."
uu may giah the dnrned contraption
au1 Vuu,h il II YOU dare:
On u'JN hut yoar head against II, or in
anger vans your hair; :
at Neuuh merely giggles as she hears
au awful -N ear--
Drop a nickel, please!"
c'u wager thirty centilnes YOU will
hear a hyAyen's gate
"nmp a nickel, pleaser u
'r Central she gets there, will ask
Won't Nou please waitl"
"ppp nickel, please,"
n n Nou-iu,l by chance, YOU know
should rvarh the other place 4
lu'N hnd the telephone folks have N
beat YOU iu the race:
al You n hear from the receiver, as the
sweat pours down Your face
"prop nickel, please
THORN.