davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06
!. Merely Joking.

~ No Whlskers-'IIow immaculate every
thing Is kept around that soda found-
tain.'',,8 Eyes. Even the leo Is freshly
shaved every hour'-Louisville Courier
Journal. f$s
Fervent--"Jlm," said the boss. II don't
wnr,t you to write any more love letters
on my! typewriter" ''1v-' why not sir7'
fnltored the culprlt. Here the ribbon
4 is burned full Of holes" Houston Chron-
5icle.
The Real Need Here is another ques-
ton that ought to be brought before
Congress-" said the earnest citizen. MY
dear sir,' answered Senator Sorghum,
Congress now has all tho questions
1t can take care Of. What 1t needs Is
some answers washington Star.
Gold Palnt--Jcnlss: odd I see YOU
speaking to Buffers to-day?" Jonks:
"Rather''''J jerks but thought his rep
utation s-er-er-damagcd? 2" Jonks:
."'N1y dear boy, he has made so much
money since then that you can't even
see where the crack was. Exchange
This Sounds FamIlla-stirrit: Where's
that umbrella lent you yesterday?"
Edwardes: Zones borrowed 1t. NVhy?"
"Oh. nothing; only the fellow borrow
ed 1t from says that the owner has been
asking him for t. Casscll's Journal. #.
AwfuIl-''Al,, grand opera! t. WHO
will sing?,,'' asked the. man. His Hwife
gave him a whitening look. Idiot" she
Kissed. who will be there? That is
the real question" Men are such vulgar
Houston Chronicle.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06
HIS LAST SERVICE,
Rev, Mr.. Haymore to Close Meet
. ing at Emmanuel Tonight.

Rev.g r.. d. sIIaynore of Mt. Airy, n.
O., who for the last two weeks has been ,'!h !
assisting Rev. MI n,s stG Gnrch n will prenel.
lis inst sermon there tonight, as he
leaves tomorrow for North carotlIa,
Where he has m appointment on, On . sTn,
value Of Time" The service promises
to be one of tho most interesting o. tho
series and a large conversation IS en-
iG meV' Mr.. 11ay,nore preached last night
from rom the ' text, III SO know these things,
happy y Dc th nna hap mH spona
~ ~, thren Essentials Of Christianity The
discotrse VAS an earnest and impressive
one. There was one conversion ana one
addition to the church.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06
HANDSOME SHAFT TO
MEMORY COL. G ! |:|. !.
Monument Greeted BY His
Widow in Presbyterian
Cemetery.
.tspecl.,l to rho Times Dispatch:

--- s. ~ 40
IA BoYDTON, VA. April 5AA handsome
monument has just been erected at tho
Presbyterian Cemetery by airs. Rosa G.
Goode 10 the memory OF her late hus-
band Colonel Thomas Francis Goode.
1t was made by Thompson y Carroii.
granite monument manufacturers or
Philadelphia. Mr.. Edward a. Carroll. q
member OF the firm, assisted ~ super
intendcnt James F. Mcguire. personally
attended the work OF placing the great
shaft In position.
The monument is In form 9helsk.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06
Shall Pocahontas Have Monu'
ment? 5g

So far as we are concerned, we were
unaware that any intelligent man or wo-
man ever doubted the story or
the Indian Maiden's rescue OF Jonn
Smith from death at the han1s
of savages It must indeed BIO an
age of skeptcism when truth Of his
tory so we'll established Is seriously
doubted But the satrcallY-humorotus
strain of the paragraph In Gates that
the writer is rather poking fun at the
monument .suggestion.-N wport News
Times Herald.
The .'writcr' Is The Times Dispatch.
Rr,t we arc not poking fun at the monu-
ment suggestion. We know better, for the
monument suggestion comes from the
women folks. Neither arc we impeach'ng
the Princess. We simply said that there
we're skcptics who doubted the romantic
at ory that Pocahontas had saved the lie
Of John Smith. Our contemporary IS not
aware that any Intelligent man or wo-
man ever doubted the story we nave
neither the time nor the inclination 20
"search the pages OF history" on tins
point. but for our contemporaries benc-
fit We reproduce the following from
two of our ready reference books:
"According to the account of his cap
tyity given by John Smith In his Gen
cral History Of Virginia." published IN
1924, after the appearance of Pocahontas
in England. She saved his life by inter-
posing her body between him and the
war clubs OF his executioners and by
,nterceding for him with her, father.
This episode Is omitted from the accounts
OF his captivity given in his TRUE Rela-
tIon." and his MAP Of Virginia pup
lished in 1908 and 1912 respectively before
Pocahontas's appearance In England, ana
is commonly discredted by recent his
torions."
Here Is another: 1T is due to the
vanity of Captain John Smith, q bust
ling early settler, that this red Indian
woman has been cmbalmed in his pig
mcntory story as n heroine OF romance
In that she died of love for the said
John Smith years after she had prevented
her fathers braves from beating out
his brains at the imminent risk OF 4
similar visitation on her own; fond
Imagination perpetunted IN scripture by
Capcllano, rs may be seen any day over
one OF the doors OF tho Capitol ut Wash
ington. But Mr.. T.. d Neil. United States
Consul ut Dublin, has recently dispelled
the halo from tho brass of THIS bless'd
Pocahontas and great kings daughter Of
Virginia. According to evidence address
ed by this gentleman, Pocahontns first
appears in history tumblng wheels IN
the market place OF the first English
mort. Next she Is living with volunteer
| yC\vpta!n rookham. Subsequently, sop
| uratc from him, she Is betrayed by ho1
uncle, Polomak, to Captain Argall, the
unscrupulous deputy governor of Vir'
glnia, and held by him ms hostage foi
tho purpose of cxtorting from her father
such terms as he required. In pursuance
| of this plan John Rolfe, n married Eng.
! lishman, marrlcs her. ETC., etc. Nint
you. this Is none of our narrative. We
| arc merely copying from the books.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06
Abolishing seasickness,

on n transatlantic liner and an English
Channel steamer there has lately been tested
an invention designed to remove seasle n,ni ~
As described ii ithe illustrated Aeltung Of
ss he fo ~ Wse e Is y SGmtS
QUICKLY NJ, ma down and across. Power
Comes from a small motor under the seal
connected with tho electric current o. ms
ship ,,e, ~. chair
and the sensation resembles met s bs Gmotion
is to L" c s"' the movement Of the , sn!p
since the long sckening roll Of me ,o HvsS 81
is paraiyzed by the short quick V'oFa''o"s =
-" Now S,''' Il some one viii get NJ i seh SIrs
tina, win make the eyes pS9aaSe e embalmed taste
from the food i VIII be worth while g : sls
In The magic chalr and get up an aple''so,
Exchange
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06
Rhyme, >or % au
Knot-Qr Not2

Il .
Ssis 81 Rsy Spices SSSs 6 & ee g;
Oh Y ys, w hey got your orange blooms '
And other things that wedding parties 4ltes
VIII kindly pa,,se and scrutinlze the prices
Which quote.
You lads who've heard that marriage is
expensive 8
Are particularly urged to take Il peep;
You'll note that +, to make my trade OK
tenslve,
DO It cheap.
/ hold tho key to open up the deadlock
BY which your ardent wooing's firmly
bouhl. =
For every days my bargain day at we'd
look II
Drop around.
Come-fnd your hnrd-boiled shirt and rub
Der collar.
And put the faithful sorrel to the shay:
! wilt gladly splice the knot for hnlf
Cali to-day.
OVERHEARD IN. ZION CITY.
Said Deputy Overseer sVoivn
TO courteous Senator Dolliver:
I'VE encll have f1nme
That's pronounced Just tho same,
Yet spslt mighty different from ITALIA fer Ter
' II. S. II.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06
lecture on Darkest Africa

Mr. III Turner nss n,nr,, y whx9 }r| has
ientiired last night To q large audience
at at tho Third Christian Church. The u sub SUI /,
ject Of his lecture was. rparkest A;trlftna,,,
Viii With the n relation Of q missonary's life
IN Q savage lann'
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

/ ~ - / : n = j.
watches were included ,inder the gem
erhi head OF local ornaments.
The Richmond of1lclal uses a seperate
form because some subjects are assessed
for local taxation which IRE not nssessed
by the stntc. Witches are assessed or
the city form, Under tho following general
cnssinchtion: ~
''.rho Waite OF tho visible personal
property OF every description IN the, city
except fnnily portraits and private
library which includes household and
Kitchen furniture, horses, cows, car
r!nges, buggics, watches. silver plate,
jewcry etc.
But each Taxpayer is also supplied With
the state form and Instructed to make
out his assessment Oh that blank. also
some OF them observe the rule and list
5tlieir watches MS separate items; others
lump watches and nll jewolry under tho
general designation OF "tnngibly personal
property" In either event, however, tho
aggregate Is tho same and the state
gets her dies.
It matters not how the watches are
listed Just SO they nre listed. The dues-
tlon we are raising Is this: Arc MI the
cities Of Virginia making, fair return
OF their personal effects? Is the Land
mark prepared % admit that the little
city Of Lynchburg Is worth n million
dollars moro. In personality, than Greater
Norfolk? 5Is,
I y . e 4 III. . / . II . 9 ~
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

But 1t is hardly to be hoped that the
coal tie-up after looking so warm Will
merely end by going up In smoke.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

But the ITllipnos usually say It: Artil-
lery follows the flag.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

Way out In Milwaukee,. tho voters
have fallen to and pluckcd their Mayor
Rose,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

"Iow Coal Prices, Not Coming Now,
intin,ates a headline, Isn't the Coal
a little supernuous? Just a shade?
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

Elijah Dowic expected to get chariot
OF fame. but will doubtless be glad to
compromise now on a Black Maria
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

Yet Mr.. Dowic lived to establish the
great truth that you cannot TOOL even
some Of tho people all Of the time.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

city OF ILynChburE is worth mlllOn
dollars moro. IN personality, than Greater
Norfolk?
Most observers viii probably syn1pa-
thize with Senator Tillmnn's cndeavor
to kill the appointment Of BENJAMIN 10.
Barnes to tho postinastership OF wash
iington. Mr.. Barnes, It will DO recalled,
Is tho tlrrn-handcd young assistant sec
rotary who recently figured SO promi-
ncntly ii, the election Of a lady caller
from the White House: His exact attl-
tude in that episode never having been
satisfactorily explained his elevation TO
n snug once at double his present salary
has struck many people as q badge or
merit sInsu.nrly ill-tlmed and nafpro-
pirate The further fact that Mr. Barnes
is not a Wnshiontonlan helps to indi-
cate how strong must be Mr.. Roose-
.velt's desire to give him the stamp Of
presidential approval. Washington peo-.
bio have the feeling that only. a Wash
ingtonlan should hold tho choice offices
in their city. On Wednesday, Senator
Tillman called on ghe rostofllces and
roads committee and vigorously protest
cd against confirmation Of the nominal
ton.
Secretary /, Wilson informs gratlned
country that there will be no more crop
failures. OF course. however, this mere
ly holds from tho scientific point OF view.
NItere failures OF the crops to grow.
nicely is of course to be expected right
along. .,an5,s,,,t s., g4nBg
Wo are able to State authoritatyely
that the anonymous article In current
review, urging DR.. Woodrow Wilson as
the next Democratic nominee, was not
written by. .Datto w. j. Bryan.
==-----=-=-==
Mrs Morris Will doubtless feel a great
deal better when she learns that she has
incidentally helped a strong-ar1ned young
man to sung Job which he could never
have reached unassistcd.
a===-=s
J. p. Jones is IL! to h. b. bprysd again this
month. A few more cases,sliko Jones's
would make undertaking the most profit
able trade yet, bar plumbing.
.#ts}.k
New York, 1t is said, Is clamoring for
more comic operas. It would certainly
be an Improvement to have the operas
moro comic.
AS for setting tables on a roar, it
appears that Senator Depew, for the rest
Of his life, viii have. to be content with
the side-tables.
We insist that Mr.. jeff Davis ought
70 begin his new career by taking cor
rcspondence course In senatorial cour-
tesy.
Yet Mr.. Dowic lived to establish the
great truth that you cannot fool even
some Of tho people all Of the time.
Elijah Dowic expected to get chariot
of fame, but will doubtless be glad to
compromise now on a Black Maria.
"1ow Coal Prices. Not Coming Now"
intimates a headline, Isn't the Coal
a little supernuous? Just a shade?
nut II is hardly to be hoped that the
coal tie-up after looking so warm Will
merely end by going up In smoke.
Way out in Milwaukee, the voters
have fallen to and pluckcd their Mayor
Rose,
But the ITllpinos usually say It: Artil-
lery follows the flag.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06
Work of Tuskege.e

Now Ia day Tuskege0 shows HXtecn -huhdTtH
ncero students Taught by ono hundred and nfty
ner own hs se e9pafd o thes
n ,n,iar Colleges and schools In widely scat
sared parts 81 the South proved amt ne whole
race Is capable Of being eventually elevated elevated
esny rnlIst Just as our white race has been
elevated BY ne few unIsun.iy sltea hd heal
oned ,heir less gifted brethren on and led them
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

Juno is the bridal month. but in April
comes the showers.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

We insist that Mr.. jeff Davis ought
10 begin his new career by taking cor
respondence course in senatorial cour-
.slt. 81 sly .
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

AS for setting tables on a roar, It
appears that Senator Depew, for the rest
of his life, will have. to be content with
the side-tables.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

New York, 1t is said. is clamorinG for
more comic operas. It would certainly
be an Improvement to have the operas
more comic.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

]. p Jones is to b b. ID buried again this
month. A. few more cases,sllko Jones's
would make undertaking the most profit
able trade yet, bar plumbing. n
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

Mrs. Morris will doubtless feel grea,
deal better when she learns that she has
incidentally helped a strong-armed young
man to sung Job which he could never
have reached unassisted.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

still. the railroads doubtless prefer tc
court review
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

. "a - . .
he North are here upon
OF this remarkable edu-
,r the colored people, not
deeply Interested In tnat
white race Iii tho South,
that tho problem Is one
our own race, and 1t IL
in the South NO chiefly
1t Is Impossible that edli-
0 people could find life
& and fruitfully Yielding
surrounded by an inferior
ice and squalor. Human
hole. and the degradation
nd lowers the lives OF the
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

Wo are able t. state authorltatyely
that the anonymous article In current
review, urging DIR. Woodrow Wilson as
the next Democratic nominee, was not
written by, ,Datto w. j. Bryan
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-04-06

Secretary Wilson informs grat'flee'
country that there will be no more crop
failures OF course. however, this mere
ly holds from tho scientific point OF view.
NDare failures OF the crops to grow
nicely is of course to be expected right
along. 49, - n .,., g4ssa 49,
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-03-25

What Is the Greatest
Show on the Earth Z
"a Society Circus with
Court OF the Golden Fountains,
at the Hippodrome, a magnifi-
cent spectacle, savage in its
righteousness as we'll as refined
in taste. Everybody in Amer
lea should 60 to the Hippo
drome. THOMPSON & DUN
DY HAVE MADE BARNUM
BAILEY'S CLAIM TO THE
CREATE ST SHOW ON
EARTH ABSOLUTELY
COMIC IN ITS ~ABSU RDlTY.
The Hippodrome would have
put the Roman Coliseum out
OF business and have caused the
gladiatorial contests to be given
TO empty benches. "-Channfng
Pollock in Ainslee's MagaSine.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-03-25

TWO perfOrnanccs daily, at ? and 8 ?. nj. Doots on
25c. and soc. goth and 2Tth ST. entrances. Reserved seats
son az. entrance only. Private boxes, six seats, s2 and
half price 10 all reserved seats but 75c, seats, and they az
p. N. for sale OF advance seats from sl00 up. No seats
with cash. 25C. soc, or 7jc. seats not sold In adva
BUY at BOX Once only.
The Grenada sentinel. [volume] (Grenada, Miss.) 1868-1955, 1906-02-03
HAVE GOT TOGETHER AGAIN
consolidation of the National Live
stock and American stock Crow
ers' Associations. T.

Denver, Col, Jan. Decentralization
of the National Live Stock association
and the American Stock Growers assO-
citation was effected here, Tuesday, by,
the annual conventions of the two Or
CARNATIONS. The American National
Live Stock association is the name
adopted for the ~amalgamated body,
which represents 10000 stock grow
ers, and Murdo Mackenzie, of Trinidad.
Col, was unanimously elected president
of the new association On a rising vote
in joint convention of the delegates Of
the two Ole associations. Mr.. Macken-
zie has been president of the American
Stock Growers association since it's or
ganization in this city a year ago by
seceders from the National Live Stock
association convention. ..
The Grenada sentinel. [volume] (Grenada, Miss.) 1868-1955, 1906-02-03
At REST IN THE SOUTHLAND
REMAINS oE GEN. JOS. WHEEL
Err BURIED IN ARLINGTON.
On Birthday of the President
Who Called Him From Civil Life
They Laid Him Away.

Washington, Jan. 30.-Home to he
southland which he loved SO we'll they
brought the body of the late Maj.-Gen.
Joseph Wheeler, U. S.. A. retired, and
laid it to rest in Arlington, with full
military honors, on a shaded slope
overlooking the Potomac near to the
graves of men who, like himself, were
veterans of two wars. Thousands un-
covered their heads in silent tribute as
the impressive cavalcade Of mourners
made its way slowly out Pennsylvania
avenue beneath the wealth of sunshine
that gave to the day a taste Of spring.
time in mid-winter. Not even his ma
native state of Alabama could have con-
tributed a balmier day on which to bury
The nations distinguished dead than was
this, the birthday of the president who
called him from civil life to the defense
Of the nation in the wal with Spain. All
along the line of march the carnation
marked the memory Of the late Will
IAN Mckinley, and on the casket,
wrapped in the folds of the American
flag. there bloomed a cluster of these
beautiful flowers. AS they were placed
on the altar in st. Johns Episcopal
church at the beginning Of the service,
and as the choir softly chanted the
closing hymn, peace, Perfect Peace"
a white-robed priest took the flowers
from the altar and placed them rever-
emily at the head of the csaket amid
the folds of the red, white and blue.
Beside them blOomed the beautiful
flowers sent by the president and Mrs.
Roosevelt. 1t was IN appropriate trib-
| ute which the nation presented.
The Grenada sentinel. [volume] (Grenada, Miss.) 1868-1955, 1906-02-03
MARVELLOUS SPEED RECORD
Two Miles Covered in Fifty-Eight
and FOur-Fifths Seconds Dy
an automobile

Ormond- Daytona Beach, Fla, Jan. so.
Victor DemOgeOt, of France, was
crowned speed king of the world Mon
day afternoon, on the DaytOna sands,
after driving his gasoline car two miles
in the marvellous time of So As seconds.
DemOgeOt maintained a speed OF 123
miles an hour to make this record.
On the first trial Marriott (American)
went first, but the best he could do was
one minute and three seconds. Demo-
geot brought the crowd to its feet by
reducing the time to n minute 12-5
seconds. Referee Morrill, decided to
give each car a trial to see if the time
coould be brought within the minute.
Marriott came first again, and this time
faster. He made the two miles in SO 3-5
seconds. 1t seemed impossible that the
clumsy looking French car should re-
duce this, but the Florida Times-Unior
81, 900 trophy was lost to America a few
minutes later when Demogeot Numbered
over the two mile course in SO As Sec
onds, the fastest speed ever attained by
an automobile. DemOgeot was crowned
with a laurel wreath by Miss Mary Sim
rail-, Of Ormond, Fla, while several
thousand persons cheered. An autOmO-
bile parade followed, and this ended the
tournament.
The Grenada sentinel. [volume] (Grenada, Miss.) 1868-1955, 1906-02-03

The widow of a Month of Gins. T..
Yerkes Said to Have Married -,
Wilson Miner. o.

New York, Jan. 31.-The American
this morning says:
The extraordinary announcement was
made last night that Mrs. Charles
T. Yerkes, aged so, only n month a
widow, and recipient of 81, SOC, 900 under
the will Of her late husband, had be-
come the bride of Wilson Miner, of San
Francisco, aged 80.
"This announcement was made in the
presence of Mr.. Miner, who refused to
make any comment upon it, There were
only two witnesses, j. l.. Eastland and
Emile Brugero, both of San Francisco,
and these two witnesses admitted they
had been present when Mrs. Yerkes be-
came Mrs. Miner.
The ceremony is said to have taken
place in the gallery of the Yerkes a
sion, No. S64 Fifth avenue, shortly after
eight o'clock Tuesday night, and, in adj
dition to the two witnesses named, a
Mrs. Goodsall. is said to have been pres
ent as attendant upon the bride.
The Grenada sentinel. [volume] (Grenada, Miss.) 1868-1955, 1906-02-03
RUFUS JOHNSON CONFESSED
HE TOLD THE STORY OF THE
MURDER OF MISS ATKINSON.
Whatever of Mystery There Was In
the MOOrestOsvn (N. - Tragedy
Is Now Cleared Up.

Baltimore, Md, Jan. 31.-After days
Of strenuous d~enials, false statements.
successfully disproved by the police,
and earnest pieadings that he be not
taken to New Jersey, Rufus Johnson,
colored, gave up the fight and confessed
to Captain of Detectives Humphrey
and Detective POhler that it was ne
who. on January IS, murdered Miss
Florence AllinsOn In the barn at her
home in Moorestown, N. J. He de-
clares he had no accOmplice. In his
statement Johnson says he choked MISS
Allinson to death with a strap after ne
had attacked her. After the assault
Johnson says he went to the house
where the child, Bessie Walker, invited
him to enter. He secured a few trink-
cts and a small amount of money. As
he was leaving the house the chic
showed him her little savings bank
which he took and broke open TO secure
the trifiing amount of money it con
tanned. He afterward returned to thu
barn. intending to loosen the strap III
had placed about his victims neck
but found her dead. He then took q ca
to Camden and crossed the ferry t(
Philadelphia.