davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
Topics of the Day
NEW USES FOR ALCOHOL.

Chicago Record Herald
1t took as much hard labor In Congress
to have the internal revenue tax taken
off denatured alcohol as II alcohol for
feul and light uses would be able TO
drive petroleum and It's derivatives out
Of the market forthwith. The danger to
kerosene is, however, not so pressing as
that. II will take time TO work out tho
best methods for utilizing the alcohol In
Germany, where alcohol has long been
much cheaper than in this country, sue
cessful lamps for lighting purposes are
manufactured. and IL Is said that 5000 in
ternal combustion alcohol motors are In
regular use already, without counting
those in automobiles, The United States.
with Its vastly greater possibilities of
use and It's ingenuity In developing Just
such methods as are needed. will, no
doubt, soon forge TO the front In this
line.
Already the Federal Department of Az
rlculture has ordered careful investi-
cation of all forms OF motors run by al
cohol, and a report that Will be COM
pleted for all results UP TO date will be
ready for distribution. it is hoped by the
end OF the year. Prof. Charles E. Lucks
OF Columbia university has been selected
TO take charge of the investigation. A
complete photography will accompany the
report. That will put American inventors
in a position TO take a flying start.
Among the advantages of alcohol IN
combustion are its lack OF odor aud it's
safety from fire. It is possible 10 put out
an alcohol FIRE with water, while IL is i'm
possible TO extinguish burning oils in
that way. The danger from explosion is
much reduced. The best sort OF alcohol
for ic,I na1 IA
vegetable matter which Is otherwise
wasted such as beet sugar refuse and or
binary sawdust. The waste OF the past
Will be the power OF the future.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
The Funny Deseret News

There Is an editorial In the Deseret
Semi Weekly News OF July 10 that is
about tho funniest thing we have read
for somo time, Coming from the News
and appearing In their editorial columns
makes II not only funny, but start
ling Some small boy must have picked
up the pen when the editor was busy
nnd scooted the copy down the chute
without his knowledge. The editorial is
entitled, Canada Warmer and goes
on TO say that the influx OF settlers into
the Canadian Northwest has modified the
climate. That's all right. but what about
this: Formerly the coarse vegetation
OF the sod protected the underlying earth
from the rays of the summer sun ana
from tho heat OF the atmosphere There
was always a belt OF frost under the sod.
no matter how warm the sun of summer.
That is enough 10 send tho cold chills
through n man when he's sweating to
death The News goes on: The plough
has changed all this. The earth
turned up TO the rays OF a sun that
shines from sixteen TO eighteen hours
day, and has been completely thawcd for
number of feet under the surface, and
II IL now thought quite probable that
the expulsion of frost from the soil VIII
quickly bring about warmer summers
throughout all Northwest Canada" We
should never have known Just how cold
IL was here II the News had not told US.
mako 1t any hotter than 1t has been, and
use the megaphone, let us make one
little holler TO stop before the final
grease spot is scorched.
The News says more: This IS prob
ably correct. and IL ls believed that, as
the Canadian Northwest becomes thor
oughly warmed up, this Will have q
marked effect upon our own climate too.
Many OF the cold waves that sweep over
this country come from the Dominion If
the temperature. 1t is TO be hoped
that the waste places may be speedily
settled with IN Industrious population"
II this mess had been dlshed up in the
funny column. or. I'm lighter mood" We
would not have been surprised. but 10
come from the editorial columns OF
than we can we'll understand, II this
country is not thoroughly warmed up we
don't want cent We were told the
other day that this was n raw coun-
try 1t may have been raw once, but
IL is pretty we'll fried just now. thank
you.
We wish that the good people OF the
South would be kind enough TO ship us
back few OF those cold waves that
come from the Dominion, IT is rather
regrettable that this editorial should ap-
pear in the same issue as the announce
ment Of the excursion from Salt Lake 10
Magrath, Cardston. Stirling and Ray
mond, We hope that Brother Penrose
Will join the excursionists and bring
along his linen duster and note book
The Magrath alberta, Canada). Pioneer.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
THE Big QUAKE.

For wise forethought and all-around
safe prophecy commend US to Professor
Gregory of the Yale geological depart
ment. That distinguished scientist says
that the recent disastrous earthquake
in California is to be repeated (some
time) with universal calamitous results.
In other words the whole earth is to be
shaken from center to periphery and
all is to be chaos again.
The only trouble with the professor
is that when his prediction shall be
completely fulfilled there will be no one
left TO give credit 10 him for his pre-.
science. Only as there is n piece
meal fulfllment will the world recog-
nize the accuracy Of his calculation.
Perhaps this will 10 enough to satisfy
him. Now every time there is a TEN.
blor anywhere on tho earth s surface,
Professor Gregory may say: "Tbere,
didn't tell you?"
Our modern scientists are en- rapport
of the modern method. After the San
Francisco earthquake when seers and
scientists were all saying that they had
known of its coming, the newspapers let
out great guffaw Of incredulity. They
said; IF you knew it was coming why
did you not say SO before it happened7"
Professor Gregory does not propose to
be left this time and 80 he announces
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
GOOD FOR THE TOWN.

In all the history of Salt Lake she
never was so prosperous as now. Never
before was she so attractive to men and
money. There is business for all; there
is work for all. Not man has need
TO walk the streets in idleness. Not
merchant or financial institution has
need to fail. There are no vacant
houses. There is not n good enterprise
but can obtain capital for it's needs.
That is a plain unadulterated state.
mcnt Of the situation here. How does it
match with the evil predictions which
were made concerning American rule
in this community7
Every prophecy of disaster has
failed; every prophecy Of success has
been fulfilled
What more do the entcrprising cit
izens of Salt Lake dcsire7 The Ameri-
can party did not bring all these
good conditions, but, it has brought
many of them and it has fostered and
maintained them all; and if tho people
of this community desire continuance
OF the blessings of prosperity and
progress they will turn n deaf ear to
the malignant and soured elements who
foretold disaster and are confronted
by the failure of their own evil hopes.
Salt Lake City and Salt Lake county
and the State of Utah cannot do better
than to encourage American party rule;
for American party rule has been dem
onstrated to be tho best aid to the
splendid progress of this community.
Good work and good wages for all
toilers; good business for all
merchants; safety for all financial in
stltutions; good tenants for all realty;
plenty of capital for all needs; more
public improvements for the bcautify-
ing of the city and the comfort Of its
inhabitants; all these in combination to
greater extent than ever before en-
joyed by Salt Lake' What moro can any
citizen ask?
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
THE "STICKIT" TEACHERS.

We cannot imagine what is the mat
ter with the applicants for teachers ,
positions in this State, in their high
percentage of failures to pass the ex-
aminations, In the report from twenty
four counties printed in The Tribune
yesterday morning, IL appears that but
little more than ons-thjrd of those who
applied for teachers certificates were
able to pass the examination. Some OF
the counties show surprising and morti-
flying failures even far below the aver
age Who're only one applicant out
OF Six or of eight or of twelve can pass
the ordinary examination for q one
year certificate, it is plain that some
thing is sadly lacking in their prelim-
mary training
1t will not do, of course, to say that
the examination was too hardD The
very object Of having examination is
not only to test tho attainments of the
applicants to teach, but to protect the
public against the imposition of un-
qualified teachers presiding in the pub
lie schools. 1t is always we'll to have
the standard high, and it is praise
worthy in the general school officials
to raise that standard from time to
time as the work Of education in the
State progresses and becomes more
strenuous.
In all these failures there is one thing
that the teachers should keep in mind
without forgetting it for one moment,
and that is that their success or their
failure rests entirely with themselves.
The requirements of the examination
for one years certificate in this State
ara in fact not in the least beyond rea-
son; on the contrary, considerable more
might be reasonably required.
The object of the leading school Off
clals is, and must always be, constantly
to raise the standard of attainment in
the teaching courses, and also to ele~
vate and better the work in the public
schools. 1T will not do, of course. to
allow that work to doteriorate, while
to keep along in the old rut without bet.
terment is IN fact deterioration. The
only alternative possible in the premises
is, therefore, TO raise the standard and
increase the efficiency of the schools.
Those who would teach must prepare
themselves to teach, and must prepare
themselves TO meet an advancing scale
of requirement. This is not only right
in itself and justice to the taxpayer
and the children, but it is absolutely es-
sential to the welfare of the schools.
The applicants to teach must brace up.
The requirements Of the examinations
cannot be modified to meet the view
Of applicants of small sttainments. The
attainments must be large; the capacity
to teach ample; otherwise, If the appli-
can't feels the lack in either particular
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
LICKED AND CHAWED UP"

No wonder Councilman Rulon S.
Wells promptly stood from under when
collusion was imputed to him in the
preparation of the utterly false and
scandalous so-called minority report of
the chosen leader of the church Repub-
licans, the church Democrats, and the
ecclesiasts proper in their partisan war
fare against the American party. Tho
Fernstrom charges md the Fernstrom
review of Mr.. Edmunds's report were
so slanderous and scandalous, so utterly
futile and false, thai it would have been
n surprise indeed if any man of Mr..
Wells s character had been willing TO
stand for them; but it must be con
fessed that the character Of the presen-
tation made by Councilman Fernstrom
was worthily represented in the char
acter of the person who presented it.
1t is JOY to the American party to
know just who is to be the leader of
the joint opposition forces now and ap-
parently in the campaign which the
opening of the fall will develop.
In reply to the Fcrnstrom rubbish it
will not be necessary for The Tribune
to make any argument. Fernstrom is
so roughly handled, so completely de-
molished by Mr. EdmuDds this morning
IN his reply in another column Of this
paper that to add anything would not
only be superfluous, but unwarranted
cruelty to animals. We invite the at
tention of the public to the conclusive
aud absolutely convincing reply made
by Mr.. Edmunds, and TO his clinching
of the statements, figures, and argu-
ments embraced in his original report.
To add anything further would be like
an attempt to paint the lily or to gild
nure gold
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
THE EXTRA SESSION FAILURE.

Evidently Apostle Smooth saw moth
! ing to gain for himself and a possibil-
| ity of hnrm TO his cause in the holding
of an extra session of the Utah legis-
| ature at this time. Therefore, he turned
down the ring proposition to hold 1t.
Governor Cutler is understood, in his
pilgrimage to Provo last week, to have
| urged the Apostle to give him leave to
call this extra session, and although
the ring arguments for it were con-
ceded by the Apostle to be strong, ho
was afraid of its effect on his personal
fortunes. So the ring programme of
the little bosses had to be given up, for
the big boss wouldn approve.
1t would have been an inexcusable
outrage upon the people of this State
had the Governor been allowed TO yield
TO his inclination and to the importuni-
ties of the little bosses and call the ex-
ira session. A good many who signed
the petition for this call signed it I'M
thinkingly; others subsequently; and
yet others through partisan trickery,
these latter being scbeming Democrats
who wished to see the Republican ring
programme put through, for partisan
reasons; it would help the Democratic
party to such n session.
But the people of the State Mt large
were not prepared to pass upon the
question Of consolidating the Agricul-
tural College with the University, which
was the aim of tho proposed call; tho
old Legislature was not elected with
any view to it, and in no sense repre-
sents the popular will thereupon,
though it was assumed that it would be
subservient to the will of the machine
and would pass the resolution to amend
the Constitution so as to permit of tho
consolidation at the rings behest.
Aside from this, the question is not
even yet fairly before the people. The
reports of the commission of inquiry are
not published, and the voters have had
no opportunity TO make up their minds
upon the arguments presented. Any ac-
tion that tho Legislature might have
taken would necessarily have been a
snap Judgment. But. of course, the ma
chine would see no objection to that,
though every fair-minded voter would
have considered it an abuse OF powor.
One thing has been helped, however,
in the hot crisis which the imminence
OF the extra session call precipitated.
That is, the disposition heretofore so ar
manifested to consider the
question exclusively local to Logan
and Cache county, has been materially
modified. The concession that the col
lege is n State institution and that one
may fairly discuss it as such without
being trespasser or an invader of Sc
cluded preserves is a distinct gain in
public ethics. But the question is not
down by any means, through the refusal
of Governor Cutler to call the extra seq
sion; it is merely postponed. But at
least the Legislature that will primarily
deal with it will bo chosen with a
that the contest is coming on
and with some reference to And the
people of the State at large will not
only be allowed, but they will DO in
vited, to consider the election with a
distinct view to dealing with the pro-
posed consolidation,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
BOAT-RoCKER INDICTED
Portland Oregonian.

PortInnd VreBonlnn.
One OF the fools that rock the boat
Is under indictment for manslaughter al
Tacoma. The number OF drowning acci-
dents due to this particular form OF
idiocy is large, and does not seem to
lessen as the years go by. Perhaps II
more OF the cheerful idiots who indulge
In the excruciatingly funny pastlme were
indicted and punished with long terms
in the penitentiary. the death roll from
this cause would be smaller. The Ia
coma young man who committed man
slaughter ip this humorous manner is. OF
course. very sorry. but similar feelings
have been expressed by long train Of
idiots who have sent victims to untImely
graves In the past.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01

a Democrat, and known as SUCH he
will say that he has no time to attend
to any but religious and business duties
and that he is out Of politics. if he be
one of the select circle constituting the
balance of power, with politics un-
known, he will say that he leans to
the Republican party. But just as soon
as Democratic ascendanoy shall be
achieved in the United States-if ever
or shall become probable, a swift and
radical change will occur. The Republi-
cans in the hierarchy will all be busy
with religious and commercial cares and
will be out of politics; the Democrats
in the hierarchy will come back from
their retreats; and the balance of power
in the hierarchy Will suddenly find that
1T is to the interest of the United States
that the principles of Jefferson, Jack
son and Bryan shall prevail. 1t will
all bo dono in n night and all the time
the church will be out Of politics, and
yet all tho time the church will be
making its alliance with and for the
party in power or the party which is
supposed to be coming into power.
If leading politicians shall continue
TO nurse and coddic the infamy of
Smootism and all that il stands for,
the entire question will he some time
placed before the American people; and
one cannot doubt that their conscience
and intelligence will rebel against the
desecration of all their institutions and
their sentimentalitics- against the vio-
lations of law and constitution! And
one cannot doubt that the party which
favors Smootism and all that it stands
for will be endangered. if not utterly
routed at the polls.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
Short Stori
WHY THEY HuRnlsn

WHY THEY HIIpn,r.
Bishop Warren Of penysr
in Philadelphia the saturd.u Ias
Suddenly he laughed. nali
II remember" he said q.
day In New York vlsit,nS ~, Que \
friend OF mine. a wholess,i,nae me q
chant. s'"ie eo1
Il was weak and lIstlcss I'D.
Every one on the street ra m,.a
dropping and displritcd pses, sas
orally that instead of ,sopis
they should he taking a nsI nas,lE
OF an electric fan. ap 10
But In my friends of,co .r
hustle and enthusiasm. n, q. ~
the clerks ran hither and us
over great ledgers wi:h an !oa'
young lady gives TO n eood a aosc
II clappcd my friend on t,a ao,el y
Jack said ]. IT must he e W sao
profitable TO have an offca a. ~
of energy and enthusiasm =. s.,
We'll said Jack, awkwar. ., aul'
that. exactly, Today. You ssa
holiday: and they are getting s's, '.l
home. - ~
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
THE PASSING OF STEAM.
Washington Times

Washington Times
1t Is announced that on the New York
Centrars lines, from the Grand Central
station In the city TO distance OF thirty
five miles in the country, electric loco
motives Will be used exclusively after Oc-
tober 10. Although the officials OF the
roads do not so declare, the opinion is
freely hazarded In well-iuformed circles
that the change TO ELECTRIC power will be
extended gradually over all the lines OF
the system.
A trial of two of the locomotives that
Will be used to draw the trains through
the city was made on Friday. and was
satisfactory in every particular. There
was a total lack of noise. smoke and
smell. by which. In generous quantities.
steam locomotives are always accom-
panied, There was q magnificent display
Of power. the electrics showing them
selves fully able TO move any passenger
train at a rate OF sixty miles an hour.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
POLITE Mr.. swINBUpx,

Pnpyrus.
Some years ago Joaquin Mil.
Of the Slerrss. and = III
of Packingtown. went 10 Eny,s
cr and made pilgrImape ,n ~
Swinburne. Arrived AT az
guarded retreat OF the ora.,
they confessed themselves ~ =
faithful Cerberus. Mr.. Watts ~
The latter withdrew Ia hrs.s
news To Swlnburne and the 49,
gan to think anxlously of tba ~ %
they wanted TO say. JOAQUIN ~
grip OF his flowing whiskers
fingered neryously a neat raj, !:
an inside pocket. Soon : D.
opened on an upper floor ana
voice OF the author of Car.
lloated down the stairway.
Tell Miller to come M
other man TO go TO hell.'
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
USED TWO NAMES.

Success.
The following story OF Bob
Is told By his friend. Sticklauo
lilan. who halls from Baltimofe'
One day as a California clupsQ
driving an Eastern friend alou!
Grove avenue, Pasadena. Cal. -
cd TO the beautiful Spanish ao2'
Burdettes on the hilltop. &
That" she said. ''ls the hon,
Rev. Robert j. Burdette. You
of him and read his prose ana p
I've heard OF his prose. O
replied her California hostess.
the funniest thing-he signs gu
writings, Robert Burdette. ~,
poetry James Whitcomo hiIel
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01

National Committeeman Sullivan of
illinois, upon whom Mr.. Bryan has
declared war, can say that such action
by great pleader for peace. is very in.
consistent.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
NOT HIS FAULT. THouo'

New York Times.
ut is a very fine thing 70
and generous and noble. ~
Perry, the writer. editor enu I!
at Harvard, "but sometimes We e,
erous and noble against our W.
OF course, we deserve no crea,s
"Os this type was a young m1'
whose fa,her-in-law. a repulsa
aire, burst In on him ons 7
groaned:
"All is lost | am utteri! ~
'Ahem, said the son-ln-is''
married for love, after All
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
NO WOOL OVER HIS 6

Harper Weekly.
Uncle Abe. a grizzled OLD nss,s y
a geological garden He sto0J "a. 4
before q cage containing -
and could not be Induced 70 Io'' %
q while the animal came 70 ~
the cage, and Uncle Abe sposss. :
"Howdy?" be said; 'no~%
The chimpanzee not mas's "a
sponse, Uncle Abe chuckieo r.
at him knowingly. 49,, a
Oats right. dat de way ~ ~ +
yon neboer gin ter talS;
white man put er hoe III >"
mack yer wurkl" he saia'
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01

that applicant had better not apply at
all; he or she should give up altogether
the idea of teaching school, or take on
O real determination to meet every re-
quirement, and to not be passed by any
one in the race.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
A TURF ITEM.

DR.. Leonard Pearson. PhIladsl,.
nous veterinary surgeon. told ~
In Philadelphia n horse story
"A farmer" he said, "wrots a
tor Of the Farmers Friend fh,s
Mr.. Editor, Slr:-I bars
that has been afflicted for tbs =.
with periodical flts OF dizzipss'
answer through your valuabIs u..
let me know what 7 should do +;
as he seems 10 get worse instss5
ter, ] am afraid he will be unfit h
If something is not done soon
THE editor replied In the mari
follows:
Our honest advice, based a.
ful perusal Of that excellent vor5
Man His Own Horse Doctor" M.
take this horse some time Ehsu h
dizzy, and sell him TO a straur1,'
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
HIS HEARING POOR.

Indianapolis Star.
When President Hadley Of n
professor OF political science I'D
dent once offered him poor e11
bad examination paper.
Prof. Hadley listened TO the ~
silence. Then he said with gfi1
THAT excuse is about as po1f
one a criminal lawyer offered ~
ent in a case that had gone n
him.
Gentlemen OF the jury, FL
lawyer. eloquently, 'remembsr q
client is hard Of hearing, and ~
fore the voice Of conscience ~
him in vain "
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01

There VII be number Of dark horses
at Pocatello to add variety to the ex-
hibition, and to show that IL is not i'm
peratively necessary to renominate Gov
ernor Gooding.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01

OF course, the decision not to call
an extra session was reached some time
ago, as President Smith has been gone
nearly two weeks
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-08-01
WHAT TIE SUN SAID.

The big sun said
I'd shine today
Er burn dat wicked worl' awny;
But de angels high
In de big blue sky,
Don't like TO hear dem sinners fry.
From the Atlanta Constitution