davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25

load on. a skate on, bun on, a bran nigan on, shine on, a still on, an edge on, a beaut on, a bird on, a skinful; he has looked on the wine when 1t was red, he has partaken of the cup that cheers, he has got a cup Ca drop too much, he fell off the water cart, he had too much fish bait he has been taking little of Paddy's eyewater or of red eye, he has shed tear.
 He has been crooking his elbow, has been hugging the bar, has been hitting the hard stuff, has been dallying with the black bottle (has been tipping, toping' guzzling, swilling, swigging, etc.), he has more sail than ballast, he has his main brace well spliced he has an applejacl1 gait, he has a bee in his bonnet, he can't see a hole In ladder, he has the sun in his eye he has got wheels in his head from fumes in his stomach, he can't lie down without holding on, he has got the gravel rash he has got mar bles in his mouth, he has lapped the gut ter and is dead to the world.
 He is half seas over, three sheets Tn the wind, on his beam ends, under the influence of the weather in his cups, in his pots. over the bay, in the clouds, up in the air, off his trolley. off his nut. off his base. he has been out with the boys, off on bat on a drunk. on spree, on a bender, on a racket, on tear, on the map. on the rantan. on the ree-raw, on the rampage, he is feeling his oats, he is full of mountain dew (whisky), full of the cream of the valley (gin). full of dope, full of slops full of forty-rod booze. full of Jersey lightning, full of tanglefoot, ful
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25

of twelve or fifteen men, including Bill, assembled on the river bank for rest and dinner. after a successful haul. The cook was busy frying the fish, and the men were engaged in pleasant conversations This was Bills opportunity and he made use of it. Something was said about a fine body of woods across the river. Bill broke in: .You ought to see the woods in Kentucky. The great trees stand as thick as stalks in corn field. They are not more than three feet apart. some one asked whether he saw much game out there "I should say so,' said Bill. You could not go half a mile in the woods without seeing deer, and such deer, with horns branching out six feet from tip 10 tip." Dick Smith said: Bill did you kill any of them?' Well, ~ replied he, .I killed only seven In the three months that l was out there. You see, 1t was not easy to get shot The deer could see you as soon as you could see him, and he took to his heels and went tearing through the woods as fast as race horse" Dick said: How could he run through the woods. where the trees were three feet apart, with his horns branch ing out six feet?' Bill, unabashed, an- swered: "That was his business not mine"
 1t was not long before something was said about bee trees. Bill was ready with his story He began: Last spring found a fine swarm of bees. and deter mined to save them. l hived them in a ten-gallon runlet I never saw bees work like they did. In August l saw that the hive was full, when I robbed them and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25
THE CHAMPION LIAR
Of Virginia Could Always Tell the Big
 gest Yarn.

From the Philadelphia Record.
 Bill Sanford was known near Lynch burg, Va, as the champion romancer of the neighborhood He owned litle farm, given him by his father, but he paid very little attention to its cultivation. His time was spent chiefly in hunting. fish ing. looking for bee tress or else in loung- ing about the country store, telling his tales of which he was the hero. l knew him well in my boyhood, now many years ago In the simplicity of childhood l list ened to his marvellous narratives with yredulity and wonder
 Bill had paid a visit to Kentucky In his youth, some 30 years before 1 knew him. Kentucky was then the far west. That trip furnished him with an inexhaustible store of wonderful adventures and mar vicious stories. l L was an Insult to doubt his veraeity, for he had been there. and you had not.
 one fine day in spring fishing party
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25
Positively guaran- tees success when all others fail Con cern- ing Business affairs.

Gives neyer-failing information regarding all kinds of business, law suits, claims, collections, in vestments, speculations, changes wills, pensions, insurance, deeds, mortgages, patents, inventions and all financial difficulties.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25
WET SYNONYMS.
Specimen Page of Complete Die
 tionary of Toping.

From the New York Sun.
 He is drunk, intoxicated. inebrlated' tipsy full. loaded, jagged, fuddled, tight top-heayy, stewed, screwed. half shot, half gone, overcome, overtaken, primed af- ficted disguised obfuscated, crapnious, elevated exhilarated, genial, happy, mel low, corned. beery, whey, groggy, boozy, muzzy, soaked, soused. bemused, chock- a-block, coxy-loxy
 He is scammered, maggoty, sewed up, muggy, happy, lushy squiffy, swipey' podgy. cockeyed, boryeyed, bowsed, mud died. whittfed, radded. dagg' d. jiggered, juzzied. be-argered. hazy, foggy, dizzy, dazed, tangled, stunned. moony. balmy' dopy. be-sotted. ossified, -petrified. para lyzed. dead drunk.
 He has glorious or elegant jag on' a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25

got fiften gallons of the incest honey you ever saw" "What?' exclaimed one of the company; you got fifteen gallons out of ten-gallon runlet?' Bill could only stammer out: Honey is mighty search ing"
 After the laugh which followed this had subsded MT. Landon the oldest man in the party, who was as grave and tae- iturn as an Indian chief. took his ppe from his lips and said with great de- liberation: "I think there is more truth
 in Bill Sanford than in any man know ' In reply to the question, Why do you think so?' he said Because none of it eyer comes out" This was too much for Bill. He collapsed and told no more tales that day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25
As a Special Favor.

From the Tattler
 He was a young and lsrt-looking Scots sermon in a strange church. Fearing that his hair might be dsarranged or that he might have a smudge on his face, he quietly and significantly said to the bea- dle, there being no mirror in the yestry:
 John, could you get me a glass%t
 John disappeared, and after few min utes returned with something under his coat, which, to the astonishment of the divine, he produced in the form of bot tie with a gill of whisky in 1t saying:
 'Ye mauna let on aboot it, meenister. for I got it as a special favor and I wadna hae got it ava if l hadna told them it was for you"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25

brother Standard oil and John D. Rocke- feller are popularly regarded as nearly synonymous although William Rocke- feller is one of the most important fac tors in that corporation. In his everyday life he differs radically from the oil King in that he possesses greater physical and moral courage. is less misanthropic, mngles more freely with his fellows, and never has sought to conceal himself or place his person under the protection of an armed guard, except when he was in danger of assination in the Adiron- dacks, following his requirement of vast tracts of land which drove scores of trap pers and guides to desperation. He Is thoroughly selfish and generosity or sympathy has no place In his mental equipment. He has caused the eviction of the poor and helpless. and has fought the payment of taxes on what he calls 'principle". No man is hated more heartily fin the Adirondacks than he.
 William Rockefeller is intimately as- sociated both by marriage and busines< relations with the most powerful money ed interests in the world. He married the sister of James Stillman, president of the National City Bank, and this relation ship brought him into still closer contact with the great fiduciary institution and it's head He was born sixty-one years ago in Tioga county New York, and was educated in the Owego Academy and the public schools of Cleveland. The faculties of perception and acquisiuveness were the most conspicious traits in his charac- ter when at the age of seventeen he drop ped his school books and became book keeper for miller.
 Start of the Standard Oil.
 Before he was twenty-one he had form ed a connection with a rival flour mill, and had just turned twenty-one when he became partner in. the concern. In 1884 he went into the oil business in modest way with his brother John D. in Cleve- land. The brothers had associated with them Samuel Andrews a veteran in the oil business. and the three built a little refinery, which they called the Standard oil Works. The name meant nothing then.
 Just after the close of the Civil war the business of the Standard had ex- banded to such an extent that an eastern manager was needed to market it's pro- ducts. William came to New York and founded the firm of Rockefeller Bros. to handle the output of the Cleveland re- fineries, for by that time these were two controlled by the men who started the Standard In 1870 the partnership was olssOiVeu anu us pidce "a9 t"ne" 's t'i' Standard oil Company of Ohio, with capital of $1,000,0O0.
 The Standard Oil trust came into exist ence in 1882, and the Standard oil Com pany of New York, was organized with William Rockefeller as president He was made vice-president of the trust. From that day to this he has been intimately associated with all the qualifications of the gigantic monopoly. and, while his name is not as conspicious as that of his brother. he possesses a wider knowledge in detail of the corporation whose power spreads to alJ the countries of the world
 While William Rockefeller is not as wealthy as his brother, John D., his re- ceives an income from fortune of S6O,- 00o.00O or $65,000,0o0
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25

of bug juice, he is as full as tick.
 He is as full as a goat, as a bedbug he is as drunk as a lord, drunk as a piper, drunk as boiled owl drunk as Davld's SOW, drunk as a wheelbarrow, he is weak (wabbly) on his pins. all mops and brooms, and got the bowling cats O<atzenjammeD, but he takes another hair of the dog that bit him, puts an other nail in his coffin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25

Dressing Table, extra drawer. We can't be beat in prices, quality and finish You will have to see these goods to appreciate them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25
Sl to S8

A style whose popularity neve wanes, adapted to boys from 6 t F years old. -
 In varied ma Cz @o ca
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25
Love Courtship and
 Marriage.

Gives truthful revelations in all love affairs, troubles, mar riages, family difficulties and divorce. Settles lovers quar- rels, gives names of the one you will marry and date of marriage, how to win the man or woman you love, etc.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25
The Hat Without a Peer

inimitable at the price. There may be other $2.5O hats, but they are of the usual standard. We made arrangements to have the agency confined to us. These hats are produced in such large quantities that the factory has enabled us to give you $50 hat. in stock and trimmings, for the price of $250.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25

Go-Carts, $3.75. The latest folding carts, solid leather seat and back, with steel frame, rubber tire; it's beauty for the money.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25

in blue or black, fancy worsteds, cassinieres, cheviotS, etc.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25
Williams Illness.

William Rockefeller. it is said, has been i'll for months, but if this is true the secret has been carefully guarded He has spent the most of the winter in italy. Private advices say that the can cer has gained such hold on him that he suffers excruciating agony
 William Rockefeller's personality, his millions and the interests with which he is Identified have been overshadowed. in a measure. by the great wealth Of his
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12
INACCURACIES IN NEWS.

1t is only fair to assume that some
passing annoyance had disturbed the
serenity of Police Commissioner Nc
Adoo's mind h other day when he
said to a group Of New York report
tiers:
The newspapers are inaccurate.
1 can show fifty cases where they
have made mistakes and misquota-
tons and have not printed n re-
traction. The only paper I can depend
upon in future is the Poultry Gazette.
There is no news this morning gen.
tlemen. I can't make news; but, then,
perhaps you can"
papers contain Inaccuracies every
day of their lives despite a passion
for exactness Of which nobody out
side the newspaper business is like
ly to have an adequate conception.
But If Mr.. McAdOo or any other fault
finder will put in a week Of his valu-
able time at reporting he will be
amazed not that printed inaccuracies
are SO many, but hat they are so
few. Even the best trained memory
and the keenest observation are IL
able to error, and it is not upon them
alone nor chiefly that a newspaper
must depend for it's information.
A newspaper gets it's material from
all sorts of sources. 1t must take the
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12

emphatica1ly stated, it has a whole
some respect for the ethics of the
medical profession. The editor of this
paper believes that more harm has
by the much advertised patent medi-
cines than by straight whiskey, wine,
beer and other beverages sold in the
saloons. We have absolutely no faith
in the alleged Indian DOCTORS" etc.,
who travel about the country with
a band, wagon, minstrel troupe or
vaudeville show. We do assert, how
ever, that the reputable physicians
themselves are to some extent re-
sponsible for the attitude of the news
papers on the patent medicine bust
newspapers for printing such adver-
tisements the physicians would take
the trouble to show the newspaper
men some Of the evils OF the same,
it would not be long until the entire
press, was united against the conf
dence men who put up worthless
nostrums warranted" to cure all the
ills that flesh Is heir to. There are
no men on earth more open to con-
viction than newspaper men. They
are limited by lack of technical ac-
knowledge in investigation of medi-
cal frauds, but let competent physi-
clans provide the information and see
how eagerly the newspapers will give
it to the people. In their desire to
avoid the appearance of quackery we
believe that the doctors are entirely
too modest. The patent medicine peo-
pie furnish the daily and weekly pa
pers with columns of their arguments
every month. The Record receives
these circulars, but never prints
them. Some papers do print them,
however, and would just as gladly
print statements from the other side
of the controversy.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12
WANTED.

Wanted clean cotton rags at the
Record Office.
WANTED One 4 or 6 h. p. gasoline
engine, at once. Address Box 357,
Artesia, N. M. 54tf
WANTED TO BUY A good team
of 4 to 6 years old mares. Must
weigh 1000 to 1000. Address Chas.
]. Mackey, Hagerman, N. M. 93t6*
WANTED:- Position as private tea
cher or companion by young lady Of
culture and education. Car give
personal interview. Address c. c..
Record Office. 93t5.
Druggist wanted at Lake Arthur, N
NJ, with stock Of drugs. No drug
store. Building for rent at reasonable
rate. Address Lake Arthur Townsite
Co., Lake Arthur, N. II. S1tf
WANTED Washing to do, family
washing and ironing, rs cents per
dozen. Gentlemen's washing reason
able.-Mr. and Mrs. M. L. Calls, 332
E.. Fifth street. 1t*
Wanted to borrow, 100000 on 16O
acres of irrigated, patented land for
term of two years. Will pay s per
cent, Permanent water right for en-
tire tract. Address Owner, Box 315,
Artesia, N. M. 94t6*
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12
Classified "Ad5.'
FOR SALE.

FOR SALE A Smith Premier type
writer. Inquire at Record Office. tt
FOR SALE:-Furnished tent 12x16,
in sanitary condition. Inquire Il.
K" Record Office. 93t3H.
FOR SALE Mountain cottonwood,
Carolina poplars, and lombardy at
McClenney farm. 94t3*
FOR SALE Austin No. 4 well ma
chine with complete set of tools.
Inquire at Record. 85t12*
FOR SALE OR RENT Ny resi-
dence on Richardson ave House
Chris Totten.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12
D @ o g @ @ 9 @ @ g @ @ g @ g e
D OUR cOUNTRY'S FLAG. G
D fBy "Parson" Puckett.) g
% @ @ d @ g @ g g g g @ g g g

Today is Flag Day. celebrated for
the preservation of the Union of
states. It is the birthday of Abra-
ham Lincoln, under whose guidance
the nag was saved from defeat in he
strife of our own people. For a time
viewed by the ons Of the South as
the flag of Northern despotism, now
the emblem of the greatest nation of
all history. Torn in the struggle of
brother against brother, restored by
the ties of sympathy as we have min
gled tears at the graves of heroes
who fought on either side for what
fed anew by such men and Wheeler
and Lee of the South standing Shout
der to shoulder with veterans of the
North, and the youth of the reunited
country filling up the ranks that
marched to victory in the latest call
for patriotism and valor against a
foreign foe-freedom's banner floats
with imperial splendor and triumph
ant independence yer a land of lib
erty and loyalty, noble manhood and
statesmanship. recognized and ad-
mired by all the governments and
kingdoms Of the civilized world.
Time has enabled us to reach a
Just verdict as to the brotherly love
that swelled the great heart which
throbbed IN the bosom of Abraham
Lincoln, and time, too. has healed the
wounds In the breasts Of survivors
and planted flowers on the graves of
the lead who are mourned alike by
North and South. We believe now
that Lincoln would have avoided war
II possible,-but he was urged by
blind ~unreasoning advocates of war,
n the ~hot-blooded South, too. ever
ready to resent insult or defend it.
self from attack, heard the mad ut
terances of the fanatics and prepared
TO meet the issue. 1t is hard for us
to forgive such men as John Brown
but we have learned to look even
npon him as a maniac. irresponsible.
AS for those really responsible for
stirring up the strife. Garrison, Har-
riet Beecher Stowe and others. who
maligned the South because their
brains were obsessed with the imag-
mary horrors Of slavery.-Lincofn
would have suppressed them If he
eouad.
There il today no enmity between
the men who actually fought 1 the
Civil War. and all delight in doing
honor 10 the nag.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12

awyers, Ministers aud Doctors are
l. not permitted to advertise that they
are more eloquent, more skillful or
smarter than other men in the same
professions. The public would not
think much of them if they did. No.
body thinks much of a man who brags
on his own personal qualifications.
But the man who has merchandise,
lands and chattels for sale finds that it
pays to advertise.
The Record prints letter-heads, enve-
lopes. cards, etc., for professional men
as well as merchants and real estate
dealers.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12

DON'T BUY YOUR WALL PAPER
until you sec the elegant assortment
that the Pecos Valley Lumber Co.
has on the way here now. It will ar
rive In q few days. eot7
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12

testimony Of witnesses sometimes
lacking in honesty, sometimes in in
telligence, sometimes in both. As far
as circumstances permit, this evil
dence is sifted when there is reason
to question It. No lawyer. grown gray
in practice, is more suspicious han
an experienced newsgatherer. Every
effort is made to present both sides
OF a matter in controversy.
Witnesses in court kiss the Bible,
invoke the help of God, N go OF to
lie deliberately. They all know that
they can be imprisoned for perjury,
and many of them believe that the
Almighty will punish them for their
lies. Yet they lie just the same. If
the dread of temporal and spiritual
penalties does no avail to make men
and women truthful, is it to be won
uered at that newspapers are some
times misled.
The errors in the news are far more
often the results Of bad memory, faul-
ty power of attention, %slovenly habits
of speech and nervous excitement
than of wi1lful deception. If Commits
sioner McAdoo or any one else can
point out a means Of eliminating or
even reducing i~naccuracy in news re-
ports, newspaper men will honor him
with undying gratitude.
Mr.. McAdoo's suggestion that re-
porters manufacture news betrays an
unfamiliarity with newspaper ways
rather surprising in a public man.
Deliberate taking is about the worst
business a paper can engage in.
With all their faults the newspa-
pers give a pretty fair history of each
days events, and it is not likely they
will be generally supplanted even by
so excellent a publication as the
Poultry Gazette.-Fourth Estate.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12
FOR RENT

FOR RENT One large room or one
large and n small room, for light
housekeeping. Furnished or unfur-
nished. Inquire at Record Office.
93t2"
FOR RENT:-30 acres acres bear
ing orchard, 8 acres in alfalfa, good
Groom house, good barn ETC., 2 mi.
East Of town. Inquire OF s. NJ. King
Roswell, 88t10*.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12
SPECIAL OFFER FOR
SHORT TIME ONLY.

Sixty acres OF hne land, two miles
from court house. Small house, loo
bearfng fruit trees, eight acres g.
year-old fruit trees, 10 acres In alfal-
ia, fine artesian well affording I'm
pie water to irriEats the entire tract,
located in the most desirable part
OF Chaves county. This fs a nne bar
gain.
CARLTON q BELL,
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12
NOTICE.

Neadham Simpson. sickness and
death in he family make it necessa-
ry to hear from you immediately
Mrs. c. L. IsbeH, Arapaho, Okla 93t3
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12
chamberIain's Cough Remedy II
Best Made.

I'm my opinion Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy is the best made for
colds" says Mrs. Cora Walker Of Por
terville, Calf. There Is no doubt
about its being the best. No other
cure will cure a cold so quickly. No
other is so sure a preventive Of pneu
monia. No other Ia so pleasant and
safe to take. These are good reason
why it should be preferred to any 9th
er. The fact is that few people are
satisfied with any other after having
once used this remedy. For sale by
all dealers.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12

See our list Of bargains on another
page of thIs characterization a Bell,
No. o Main st. opposite p~ostofIcs
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12

All Advertisements to Insure inser-
4isn In the same day's Issue Of The
Rsssrd houId be In the printers
hAnas before eleven o'clock In the
msrnins. Orders for taking out any
standing ad. should also be in the Of
Zee by eleven o'clock to prevent It's
being run that day.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12
FOR HERIFF.

I hereby announce myself 9 candi-
date for Sheriff of ChAves county,
New Mexico. subject to the action of
the Democratic primaries.
c. H. HALE.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12

Buy your wan paper. glass, bug
gy paint and moor finish at the Pc
COS valley Lumber Co. 7stf
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12

Albuquerque seems to find no legal
difficulty in the way of issuing bonds
for $3.50, 900 to buy the waterworks
of that city from the private corpo-
ration which now owns the plant.
Attorneys representing both parties
to the transaction agree that the city
is not limited as to the amour of
bonds it may issue for waterworks
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-02-12

Bottled in Bond Otner sranos.
Goods Hunters Rye,
vo,- Old Indian River
Old Crow, ~
w. H. McBrayer, " ioon'
c,oLanbo;mor Red Top Rye,
R. H. Parker Rye,
Hers Malt,
Green River, Reu Of Nelson.
Anderson, Blue Bell,
Melwood,
Woodford Club,
Kenton Club,
i1hi i' Oak Leaf,
CluD' Jockey Club,
Tom Moore. Monogram,
|Cadar Pm. Bass ale & Porter,
If you want Whiskey, 90 where
they carry h stock.