davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
REvENGED ON THE JUDGE.
Rubber in the Turkish Bath Evened
Up the Score with "His
Honor"

In ordinary life he was very inn
portant person. In short, he was judge.
relates the Chicago Journal. But, alas!
his liver got out of order, just the same
as if he had been an ordinary mortal, and
a brother luminary had advised him to
take Turkish bath. 1t was luxury ne
had not previously INDUCED in, and he
noticed that the rubber was terribly
rough. However, he patiently endured
being punched, slapped and assaulted UNI
til he could stand the torture no longer.
''Is-it-qui-te-n = to-ma-ke
me--black- Observation-Disclosures" painted
his lordship.
Never you mind; you're all right" re-
sponded the rubber, redoubling his energy
and grinning diabolically.
"Who (slap, groaO are (thud, groan)
your" gasped the judge, horrible suspi-
cion dawning in his mind. Your (whack,
groan) face does (whack, groan) look ia
(groan)-miliar" (swish, groan).
40, you remember me, do your" growled
the Rubber, sarcastically. We'll, blow your
old hide mebbe you'd like to have the
chance to send me up for six months again
for prizefghtin'! Whoosh"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
TERRIBLE SCALP HUMOR.
Head Covered with Humor Sores, with
Loss Of Hair-Another Speedy Cure
by Cuticura Remedies.

Cali my life I had been troubled more
OF less with humor in my scalp, but
about a year ago it became worse, and
my scalp was covered with little sores,
which itched go it nearly made me crazy;
my hair also began to get dry and fall
out I tried all kinds of hair restorers
with no effect, and was nearly .discour-
aged; but one day l was reading in a pa
per what the Cuticura Remedies had done
for scalp diseases, and decided to make a
trial. / got a cake of Cuticura Soap, a
box of Cuticura Ointment and Cuticura
Resolvent Pills. ] used them according
to directions, and soon noticed a differ
ence; the tiny sores on my scalp began
to heal, the itching stopped, and my hair
began to grow thick. have used only the
one cake Of Soap, one box of Ointment,
and enc vial of Pills, and now l have no
humor on my scalp and my hair is soft
and silky. Miss Maybe G. Atkins. Box
80, East Orleans, Mass. Mar. 10, 1906"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
HOW a Rroutosaurus Looksd

In form and appearance the bron-
tosaurs were quite unlike any living
animals, and are remotely related to the
lizard family. They had a long, thick
tail like the lizards and crocodiles; "a
long flexible neck like the ostrich a
thick, short, slab-sided body; straight,
massive, postlike limbs, suggesting the
elephant, and remarkably small head
for the size of the beast. The ribs and
limb and tail bones are exceptionally
solid and heavy, while the vertebrae of
the back, neck and tail, on the contrary,
are lightly constructed. The ribs are
half foot wide, number of them
weighing more than 100 pounds each.
A single footprint of the creature must
have nearly covered square yard upon
the ground.-St. Nicholas.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
VINE REVIEWS YOUTH.
The Famous Old Hampton Court
Palace Plant Which Is Known
to All England.

There is every indication that the
famous old Hampton Court palace
grape vine, which is believed to be the
largest in the world, has renewed its
youthful vigor and vitality and will
this year bear superb crop. A few
years ago the old veteran began to
show signs of decay, Notwithstanding
the fact that it was still yielding
heavy crops. Several distinguished
Yiticulturists were summoned to a
consultation over the illustrious pa
tient in whose condition the whole
nation, from the king to the board
school boy, takes an interest. After a
prolonged examination they decided
that it was suffering from insufficiency
of sunlight and air, exposure to dust
and draughts and lack of proper diet
suited to it's advanced years. The lat
ter need was met by spreading an
ample supply OF specially prepared
loan about it's roots, which has re-
suited in the addition of much fresh
fibre to them, showing that the old
giant has not done growing yet. To
cope with the other symptoms of de-
bility an entirely new house was pre-
scribed for it.
The new building was erected last
year. 1t differs but little in size from
the old one with which American Wis
itors are familiar, but the superficial
area of glass has been considerably in
creased owing to the shape of the roof,
being what is technically known as
"three-quarter span," instead of a
simple 'lean-to," as formerly. This
type of house possesses the great adj
vantage over the old one OF enabling
light and air to be obtained on two
sides, and also permits thorough venti-
lation. A further important point is
that the rafters are furnished With
light steel fixtures, which allow the
vine to be trained at distance of two
feet from the under side of the glass,
a feature insisted on in all modern
wineries.
The vine is 1876 years old. 1t was
planted by Lancelot Brown, better re-
membered by his we'll merited sob
riquet of ''Capability" Brown, who had
been appointed royal gardener at
Hampton Court by King George II,
and enjoyed the intimate friendship of
his successor and several noblemen of
high degree.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
HOW LIFE is PUMPED BACK
Agency of the ongue in Restoring
Action to Respiratory
Organs.

Rhythmical traction of the tongue has
long been one of the most effective
means of reviving a person who has
been drowned, says the Searchlight.
DR.. Laborde, who has carried on ex-
tensiye investigation on the effect of
tongue traction as means of resuscita-
ton, maintains that often, although the
organism has apparently ceased to live
externally, 1t lives internally. That is
to say, life is still latent and while there
is latent life there is hope of saving
drowned or asphyxiated person. The
function which it is most necessary to
revive is the respiratory.
Experimenting upon dogs, DR.. La
horde found that two or three hours
after apparent death had set in it was
sometimes possible to secure resuscita-
ton. A vigorous half bulldog, weigh
ing IS pounds, was chloroformed to
such an extent that respiration had en-
tirely ceased. After a quarter of an
hours traction of the tongue the animal
came to. The experiment was tried
again until complete asphyxiation had
occdrred, and traction was not resort
ed to till five minutes later
The dog, which had been named
Lazarus, this time appeared to be dead.
One hour and two hours of traction
followed, with no result, but after an
other half hour a respiratory cough
showed that life was present. The dog
- H.,
horde that it would be a good idea to
substitute a mechanical device for the
cloth-covered hand. The first apparatus
made was driven by clock work. The
more improved apparatus now used is
operated by an electric motor. BY
means of this improved instrument it is
possible to subject the tongue to con-
tinuous traction for three hours, if such
a period be necessary.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
A CURE FOR DEBILITY
Or. Williams Pink Pills A ReiiablO
Remedy for the Weak, Aiiing
and BloodIess.

When the body is weak and the blood
thin it is sometimes difficult to find the
cause unless a wasting illness has pre-
coded, or the sufferer happens to be a
girl OIL the verge Of womanhood.
Obscure influences, something un-
healthful in ones surroundings or work.
may lead to slow impoverishment OF
the blood and an enfeeblement of the
whole body. When a serious stage has
been reached there seems to be nothing
that will account for it.
Mr.. G.. E. Legg, of Upton, W. Va,
has found a successful method OF treat
ing weakness and bloodlessness. He
says:
IL used DIR. Williams Pink Pills for
weakness caused by lingering malarial
fever that began in the spring OF 1896.
The worst effects of this were indiges-
ton and a bad state of my blood. Twas
an9mic, as the doctors say. People
generally would say that didn't have
blood enough, or that didn't have the
right kind of blood mine was too thin.
My kidneys and liver were out of order.
I was badly annoyed by sour risings
from my stomach. There was a good
deal OF pain, too, in my back and under
my right shoulder blade"
How long did these troubles last?"
For over two years. For four
months of that time l was under the
care of physician, but his medicine did
me no good. Meanwhile I learned of
the cures that had been wrought by DIR.
Williams Pink Pills."
"You owe your cure to these pills 2"
ct certainly do, and also know that
they are helping others to whom I have
recommended them. They have real
merit and I know of nothing that would
take their place."
For further information and valuable
booklet address the DIR. Williams Medi.
cine Co., Schenectady, N. Y.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

Following is a copy of the concluding
paragraph of long letter, dated March
II, 1906, reciting history of the matter,
received by DR.. S. B. Hartman from Hon.
J. w. Yerkes, Commissioner of Internal
Revenue, which explains itself:
BY reason of the changes made in the
formula under which Peruna is now pro.
duced and placed upon the market, and
by reason of the analyses made in this
Bureau, and the opinion of the Surgeon.
General OF the Public Health and Marine
Hospital Service, above quoted, this Office
is of\opinion that Peruna when prepared
according to the formula now used con-
tains sufficient drugs to render the prep
aration one beyond the ruling of this of
flee of date September II, 1905, and there
fore persons compromising and selling same
will not be required to secure special
tax stamp, either as rectifer, wholesale
dealers or retail dealers of spirituous or
vinous liquors"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

should have Job travelling with the
show, to milk the sacred COW. ! told
this negro what the program was, and
that wanted 200 negroes who had an
ambition to be politicians, and hold
Office, and I would not only pass them
into the show free, but see that they
got a permanent Office. What we
had got to do, I said, was to stampede
the white procession, that would be led
b. pa, and the way 10 do it was for
every negro in my party to skirmish
around in the woods and find hor-
nets nest, and bring it to our barn,
and fit it into one OF the Chinese Ian
terms, and fix a candle on top of the
nest, while the hornets were asleep.
Then When we met Tho Bryan process
sion we were to shout and wave our
lanterns, and if necessary to whack
the white men over the head with the
lantern with the hornets nest, and the
hornets would wake UP and do the
rest.
The negro wanted to know how l
could prevent the hornets from sting
ing our own men, and told him that
we had been in the hornet business all
the season and never had one of our
own men stung. said we took some
assofoedita and rubbed it on our
clothes and faces, and the hornets
wouldn't touch us, bat just went for
The other fellows to heat the band.
Say, negroes are easy marks. You can
make them believe anything. But IT
1 ever get to be president l am going
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
"COFFEE JAGS."
The Doctor Named Them Correctly.

Some one said Coffee never hurts
anyone" Inquire of your friends and
note their experiences.
A Phila. woman says:
During the last or 8 years I be-
came subject to what the doctor called
coffee jags' and felt like have heard
men say they feel who have drank
too much rum. 1t nauseated me, and
felt as though there was nothing but
coffee flowing through my veins.
Coffee agreed we'll enough for a
time, but for number of years I
have known that it was doing me
great harm, but, like the rum topper,
I thought I could not get along with
out it. 1t made me nervous, disor.
dered my digestion, destroyed my
sleep and brought on frequent and
very distressing headaches.
when / got what the doctor called
a coffee jag on, I would give up
drinking it for a few days till my
stomach regained a little strength, but
I was always fretful and worried and
nervous till I was able to resume the
use of the drug.
about year ago I was persuaded
to try Postum, but as l got 1t in, res
taurants it was nothing but sloppy
mess, sometimes cold, and always
weak, and Of course I didn't like 1t.
Finally I prepared some myself, at
home, following the directions care
fully, and found 1t delicious. / per-
severed in its use, quitting the old
coffee entirely, and feeling better and
better each day, till I found at last,
to my great joy, that my ailments had
all disappeared and my longing for
coffee had come to an end.
81 have heretofore suffered intense
ly from utter exhaustion, besides the
other ailments and troubles, but this
summer, using Postum, have felt
fine" Name given by Postum Co.,
Battle Creek, Mich.
There's reason.
Restaurant cooks rarely prepare
Postum Coffee properly. They do not
let it boil long enough.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
The Favorite Route East.

Passengers from Chicago to Fl. Wayne,
cleveland, Erie, Buffalo, New York City,
Boston and all points east, will find it to
their interest by selecting for their Jour-
ney the NICKEL PLATE ROAD from
Chicago. Three through trains are run daily
with Modern Day Coaches and Luxurious
Pullman Sleeping Cars to New York City,
also through Sleeping Car Service to Bos-
ton and intermediate points. Rates always
the lowest and no excess fares are charged
on any train for any part of the trip. The
NICKEL PLATE ROAD Dining Service is
right up-to-date. Individual Club Meals
are served at prices ranging from So cents
to Sl.O0; also meals a la carte. All trains
leave Chicago from the La Sale st. Sta
ton. For full information address j. Y.
Callahan, General Agent, lib Adams St.,
Chicago. ILL
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
The Model Doc

The Boston terrier is development
of the English fighting dog known as
the bull-and-terrier. The breed orig
mated from a cross between the bull
dog and terrier, but the Boston ter
rier is now neither mongrel nor a
freak. He seems to inherit rather the
virtues than the vices of his ances-
tors. He possesses much Of the faith
fulness and tenacity of the bulldog and
the activity Of the terrier. He is es-
sentially house dog, and Is as COM
panionable, affectionate and truss.
worthy as any other small dog. These
qualities are winning new friends for
him every day.-Country Life in Amer.
lea.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

expect that next year shall be one
Of the managers of this show, cause
they tell me / have got the greatest
head of any boy that has ever travelled
with the show
We haven't been having very big
business in the south, because the ne
groes haven't money enough to patron
lie shows, and a lot of the white peo-
pie are either too heightened or else
they are politicians and want q pass.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
.vermont,s Biggest Tree.

Probably the largest tree in Vermont,
if not in New England, stands in the
dooryard of Jerry Richard, in the north
east part of the town of Chester. The
tree measures 231a feet in circumfer-
ence two feet from the gluInd, and the
branches spread from side to side about
100 feet. There are seven limbs which
measure two and one-half feet through,
and the tree is estimated by woodchop-
pers to contain from Is to 20 cords Of
wood.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

Doan's Kidney Pills, with the result
that the kidney congestion disappeared,
and, with it, all the other symptoms.
What is more, the cure has lasted for
eight years."
Sold by all dealers. SO cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. Y.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
Upside Down.

$50 you don't believe in College edu-
cation?"
mo, sir. After graduation l nearly
starved to death practicing law
But you look prosperous now"
eyes, sir. / went into vaudeville and
made a fortune balancing a barrel on my
feet while standing on my head. Detroit
Free Press.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

aching of the limbs
and pain in the back
and kidneys. Severe
congestion of the kid
neys followed. Be
sides the terrific ach-
ing there were whirl-
ing headaches, and l
became exceedingly
weak. My doc IT o r
could not help me,
opd T furpod fo
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
AS Soon as Spring Comes

the need of Garfield Tea is keenly felt.
This wonderful herb medicine purifies the
blood, cleanses the system, clears the com.
plexion and insures a natural action of
the liver, kidneys, stomach and bowels.
Good for young and old, at all seasons.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
Overshooting the Mark.

Mrs. O'Brien-Phwat medicine did Mike
find the best?
Mrs. Riley-Divil know Oh know. He
took so much av it he was sick for tin
days after he got well.-Boston Traveller.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
TbenJooicaI Note

Give lost all faith In my watch. I,
wont keep time any more"
Then it's not faith you want. but
works. Cleveland Leader.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

One way to avoid giving alimony is to
give your wife her share of the family
income as you go along. An ounce of PIN
money is worth a pound of alimony!-A-
barry Argus.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

just about the time man gets COM
fortably fixed in his favorite chair with
the evening newspaper, his wife thinks
of what some caller told her during the
day.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

Great minds don't run in the same
channels always. Their greatness is
gagged by the agility with which they
get out of rut.-Judge.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

The man who spends his money as he
makes it may argue that bird in the hand
is worth whole aviary in the hands of
his executors.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
A COLD BROUGHT IT ON.
Severe Congestion of the Kidneys Som
Cured Ey Doan's Kidney Pills.

Richard NJ. Pearce, a prominent busi-
ness man Of 2S1 So. Orange ST., Newark,
N. j., says: :" Working nights during
bad weather brought ON heavy cold,
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

The had Boy and His Pa Inject .
Little Politics Into the Show
Rival Bands Of Atlanta Citizens
Meet in the Circus Tent-A Bunch
Of Angry Hornets Causes Much
Bitter Feeling.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
WRITING for Cash.

What are money orders. par"
Your mothers letters to ne whe4
she Is on a vacatior."-Judga
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

Some very prominent financiers have suf-
fered quite as much as humber folk from
getting into bad company.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
GAVE HIM SPECIAL RATES.
Hotel Man Knew How to Please His
Patrons and Benefit
Himself

It was one of those automatic hotels,
where, if you want anything you go and
look for it and don't find it, and where
the landlord is a non est man until the
next morning, when he says: 1.-TWO dol.
lars, please" He never fails to be on hand
then, relates writer in Talent.
Now, my "damagers" had sent me a
little slip, giving me special rates of 81 so
single, and Sl25 double, and ! thought
it was a pretty good thing.
So in the morning presented my little
slip, saying:
You gave us special rates, believe,
yah, dot iss right" answered mine
host. Zone dollar and half is special
So L paid him Is cents, on which he
made at least $l.30, and went my way,
rejoicing as much as l could.
l strolled down to the depot with .
commercial missionary, who seemed very
much pleased about something, and pres
emily in very high state of chuckle, he
said:
'Mr. Hawks. 1 laughed with you last
night, but l had to laugh at you this
morning"
whats the joke% 1 asked, for l
didn't see any.
THAT landlord gave you a special rate
of $3.50 per, didn't he?"
''He did, indeed"
wen, tnat tne JOKE; ms regular rates
are one dollar a day."
Somewhat Different.
81 say, old man." said Joshem, "did you
ever see a cakewalk?"
NO." replied Soberleigh, "but I've seen
. cheese that might have walked if the
cage door had been left open."-Chicago
Daily News.
Brains are good ballast for even a poll
tician to have.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

Every now and then we see a man
50 tired of resting that he is unable to,
work.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
Ladies Can Wear Shoes

One size smaller after using Aliens Foot
Ease. A certain cure for swollen, sweating,
hot, aching feet. At all Druggists, Csc. Ac-
Address As. Olmsted, LIE Roy, n. Y.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06

The bride promises to obey, but she gem
orally has her fingers crossed.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
. a
PTECK'S BAD |
BOY WITH
THE CIRCUS |
By HON. GEORGE w. PECK
Author Of Peek Bad Boy Abroad" Etc.
"a 81
Author of"Peck's Bad Boy Abroad" Etc.

Copyrights by J. =. Bowies)
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-04-06
Somewhat Different.

Brains are good ballast for even a poll
tician to have.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-08-10
SELECOMSCIOUSNE.SS

If there is any one thing i'll life
which causes more ills than another,
it is self-consciousness. Many a
brilliant mans career has been ruined
on account of this dread affection,
and scores of others are being daily
hampered because there is a super
abundance of self in the makeup of
otherwise brainy people.
SelEconsciousness has been defined
as thinking of ones self. This does
not necessarily mean bigoted opin-
ion; on the contrary, it is often a lack
of selEappreciatiou. If we feel that
we fully measure up to the standard
that any particular occasion requires,
the chances are that the most bashful
would forget self being and enter into
the effort in manner that would re-
feet the proper credit.
1t is an affection, and like many
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-08-10

TuR .EGIs is the oldest established
newspaper III Hartford county. 1t has
larger circulation among intelligent farm
ers, Gamers aud other business men than
any other newspaper published in the
county. These facts make it valuable
advertising medium for reaching all
classes.
All communications should be address
ed to The 4A>GIS AND lNTELLIGENcER,
and all checks drawn to order OF John
d. Worthiugtou.
kS-NoTIcR TO CORRESPONDENTS
communications intended for publication
must be accompanied by the "A name
OF the writer, though not for ( 'hFcation
unless desired, otherwise they will re-
ceiVe n attention
uB SUBSCRIPTION CREDITS. Its some
times stated by subscribers to county
papers. that they are unable to stop the
same when desired. We hereby notify
our patrons that their papers will be
stopped whenever requested. Ii no time
limit is fixed by the subscriber, we Will
favor him with its continuance, and he
will be expected to paw for the same.