Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-12-08

lust as insects are attracted by the bright
glare of an electric light. so are cranks at
tracted to Washington by the converting OF
Congress and each year brings new faces
with new Authorizations. Some of the old
timers who have managed somehow 10
keen out OF the foolish house. are mere
again. notably the fel ow who has a schenG
for bottling sunshine, but among the pratu
new ones is q tall fellow from the west
who is clad in a seni-military costume His
Authorization is well detined, and an ex-
policeman who was tackled by the military
parsonage. remarked:
IF that fellow keeps outside of the gray
walls of st. LiZ2ie's two days longer VIII
miss my guess, and l have been handling
'queers' for night onto fifteen years.
1t is said the newcomer declares he is the
commander of the armies and nav:es of the
word, and the United States; also chlet OIL
police of the earth and governor general Oh
North and South America. He $ mere ne
says to have Congress pass upon the
trifing sum of fifteen billions of dollars that
he requires to keep his military and police
forces intact for another year.
The Capitol police are on the lookout Tor
the variegated commander and others OF his
kind and when he goes to the big white
structure to arrange for the passage OF the
bill for his bl ions. he will be taken into
custody and then-St. Lizzies and a season
Of solitude.
s. = :: = ::
Several members of Inspector Boardmans
detective corps were in the front Office
at police headquarters one afternoon this
week when victim of old rye came
along the steep grade of the street walking
with such an uncertain step that 1t was
feared he would meet with personal IN
FURY When he had stepped from the pave
ment to the street and back again several
times the suggestion was made that one
of the officers make Il case. but WEiia
they were discussing the pedestrians con,
dtion the latter made sharp turn anu
headed for the building.
How are you, Cap?" was the familiar
manner in which he addressed one of the
detectives. II saw you rubbering ana
thought I'd make call Do you want
me for anything
want you for anything" repeated one
OF the detectives who are your"
Never mind about that" said the
caller. 81 want to Know if my record is
clear or If you want me for anything.
The sleuths admitted that they knew of
no charge having been preferred agans;
him and told the caller that he might be
excused. He was not asking for an ex-
cuse. he said: he had merely called to
pay his respects Although none of the
men In the office knew him. he was able
to recall the boyhocd days of many OF
them.
ut is rather refreshing to meet old
friends said the caller. The meeting
has refreshed me much that l am now
able to walk home and tell mother all
about it. Good day.
& s. &
Walking UP the avenue the other day.
citizen who observes things saw a sign
upside down in a shop window. Being of
a kindly nature he went in and called the
proprietors attention to what he thought
was an accident. ''Oh. that's all right
was the reply. The sign was put that
way on purpose. 1t attracts more atten-
ton. you know Many people come inside
to tell NE about it: Isn't there something
In my line you need? Nc? Well, when you
do, gives US a call"
curious specimen of smplified spelling
was contained in Secretary Taft's mail the
other day in a letter from a resident of
charlottesville. Garrett county, Md, as
follows:
THE L. S.A War Department Washin-
ton Dc; l Wod Xix TO Git Up Compney
OF Home: Cards In Kitzemillervi,le Nd;
The Population Is About so Pleas In
struct Me How TOGO At 1t To Git A
Compney Hir So. l will Wait Your FAvort
reply"
A good joke is told of a certain young
man OF Georgetown, who is himself some
what of a practical joker One of his vic
Tins turned the trick him recently
which caused him considerable trouble at
home. his wife, it is said, still being sus-
picious OF him.
He had been accustomed. as an expert
joker. TO call up his friends on the tele-
phone giving fictitious name and jolly
ing them along in various lys. Recently
he called up a young lady who works in
local business place and had great fun in
mystifying her but she happened to learn
his identity. AS he is married. and has a
telephone in his house. selecting a time
when she f.ew he was away from home.
the young lady. to sort of even up matters,
called up his home. OF course his wife an
swered the call. Asking if he was at home
and finding that he was not, she pretended
she did not know that it was the wife
who was at the other end of the wire and
asked why Mr.. Joker had not kept his
gagement with her the night before. He
was. she said. to have taken her to the the