The National tribune., 1906-03-08
THE .PoSTMASTERS.
Trials, Tribulati0ns and Humors
OF Uncle Sans Faithful Ser.
wants.
BY Capt. HENRY A. CASTLE,
Formerly Auditor Of the Treasury for
the Post Office Department.
CHAPTER II.

line OF duty, and yield no sort OF COM
pensation for the trouble involved.
Hence 1t Is often hard for them to main
tain the high standard Of politeness
which the Government sets up for its
officials The Postmaster at Hopkins
vile, KY, received the following letter
from a former @Kentuckian, who now
lives in Oregon: Mr.. Postmaster: Will
you please hand this note to some old
Tobacco raiser. I want dollars worth
of homemade Tobacco from old Ky.
for chewing. I want as old Tobacco as
there is and as good. I want to pay
what 1t is worth. Would like il 1t was
twisted. Whoever gets this note answer
at once. 1 used to live In KY. in liv-
ingston CO., and II there is some good
old maid or a widowed lady Bout So
or 40, tell them to write to me If they
want to change there name to a better
one. l was married once in KY. / got
my licens at smithland, was married at
loves chapel, close to caryville. / got
fine lady; l want mother one from old
KY, they are the people and most re-
spected." Then he added as a post
script: Say. lady, If you do write send
me yore picture. 1 arm this way, quick
sales and good profits. My wife has
Bin dead years. l have no children.
BY By"
Patrons' Fads.
Postmasters are the special victims
of fads. One of the latest Is the purple
stamp. It must have been the purple
poster rage that produced the purple
postage stamp, and It is q three-cent
one. heartless. unsympathetic Gov
eminent does not make them in two
cent styles. Yet to be thoroughly and
tremendously purple you must have a
purple stamp.
Every one can buy cheaply the dainty
linen paper Of the beautiful lavender
1,TD ,S~I~
sachet-the purpleness of either OF
those scents would be sure to penetrate
even the most adamant soul-and use
purple ink to inscrfbe the important
love messages OF the business-like COM
mand, but the three-cent purple post
age stamp costs three cents. What per-
manent effect this flood of purpleness
will have upon society remains to be
seen. Scientists say that visible colors
affect the morals. What of the purple
craze? ~..r 80.
Very few Postmasters of fourth class
offices receive pay enough to justify
giving their ,entfre attention to their
official duties. They must join some
other business with that Of handling the
mails. the stamps and the postal orders.
This combination has its drawbacks.
A characteristic incident, with an
nOying features, occurred in an office
which was kept in drug store. The
clerk alone was on duty at the time
these things happened, and he was en-
to pair OF very black women who
weren't very certain what they wanted
or whether they wanted anything.
One of the black women would point
to q bottle in the open case, and the
clerk would. haul the bottle out.
That's white lilac" the clerk
would say, land 1T costs SO cents
hn Ill 4
gaze refiectiveIy at the bottle, and then
at the clerk. and then at each other,
and point out another bottle in the
case, and the performance would be
gone through again.
While 1T was In progress the store
began to fill up. There was tat man
standing at the post-office desk, grOan-
ing every time the black women asked
to see another bottle of perfumery. and
knocking on the desk. He wanted to
send special-delivery letter, and he
needed stamp for it. There were four
women with letters in their hands, and
the things that they looked, in unison,
clerk to show them more bottles of ex-
tract were something violent.
thin, jerky man rushed in. He
looked as II something OF extreme in
terest to him had happened at home
He had bunch Of prescriptions in his
hand, and when he saw the performance
through which the black women and
on the ends Of the prescriptions and to
growl under his breath as he leaned
on one leg and then on the other.
How much is uh bottle lax data
one?" one of the black women inquired,
pointing to larger sized bottle Of
patchOuli.
"Seventy-five cents" replied the
clerk, with marvellous patience picking
the bottle out. "Wild Rose, same size,
same price,
The black women gazed at the clerk
and at the bottle, and at each other,
and the people in the store groaned
mfserably in unison.
TWO more women with letters in their
hands came In, and then came another
rushing man with mad desire for a
speciaI-delivery stamp.
By actual count there were IA fero-
cious human beings in the store to buy
something when one of the black wo-
men, after 20 minutes inspection of
the shops stock Of perfumes, said:
well, All guess yo'-all's too high in
yO' prices. We dun thought we could
git whut we wanted TO 10 cents"
Whereupon they marched out of the
store. and the IA ferocious human be-
ings fought for the clerks first atten-
ton. j.
"Freak Natter.
Freak" mail matter is one of the
standing annOyances of all postal Off
Gals and employees. One of the worst
cases is that Of an ordinary raw (not
ripe) hens egg which travelled safely
from st. Louis to Chicago in the mails
according to the Chicago papers.
The curious part of the incident lies
In the fact that the egg was absolutely
uninjured in any manner whatever, not
withstanding the many times it was
handled In transit and the fact that it
had no covering whatever. How 1t was
ever accepted by the st. Louis post Office
authOritiestfs q mystery.
At any rate, the egg was received
precisely as it was transported, with the
stamp Cancelled in the ordinary manner
The records tshow that odd epistles
are not always Intentionally ''freaked."
After the battle of Colenso, there was
found grasped lin the stiffening hands
Of a dead soldier piece Of leather with
dying message scrawled upon 1t with
stump OF, pencil. 1t was a layer of
the sole Of the dead mans boot. which
had probably, been loosened with much
marching. and which he had contrived
to rip off. : 1t safely reached the poor
fellows family in England.
From the Philippines, too. some Curl
GUS letters have been received by the
friends of American soldiers fighting
in those islands. One Of the most in