The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1906-02-13
AMUSING BLUNDERS.
Stories Told Of Mistakes Made By
Ministers in the Pulpit.

Each profession has It's stock jokes.
It's stories .lnumera1i.. and to ear:
beloo.S :; fia:nr al it's own. That
Tie pr:n. # :. ,"st lie: ol III the [" i.
cue Of him who makes it. but in the
ear that hears, is the testimony of the
great dramatist. The doctor on his
rounds and the Judge upon the bench
have both all audience ready and will
ing to accept as the highest wit the
bon mots Of the speakers, and there
is no club gathering Of men that does
not acclaim one OF its members as
supreme in this respect, and are
ready to WELD due recognition OF the
gift.
There IS. however. a vast amount Of
unconscious humor always floating
about. and to those who perceive it
the world is ever very amusing. 1t
must be admitted that the blunders
and jests clerical stand for some rea-
son pre-eminent both III number and
in mirth producing qualities. The rea
son. of course, is not far to seek: the
very surroundings in which they oc-
cur the very upsetting of ones pre-
conceived notion Of reverence, all
tend to cause a reaction in the ordi
nary mental equilibrium and the sim
plest mistake OF accident under such
circumstances assumes the propor-
tions Of a huge comedy.
The divine who, in drawing: the at
tention of his congregation TO a spe-
cial Sunday communion service on the
following Sunday, Informed them that
"the Lord is with us in the forenoon
and the Bishop in the evening"" is
chronicled with praying for the chill
dren of his parish in these words:
"And now. O Lord, bless the lambs
of this fold and make them meet for
the Kingdom Of Heaven.' While
a Scotch minister innocently, perhaps,
hit the mark by telling his people:
"Well. friends, the kirk is urgently
III need of siller. and as We have fail
ed to get money honestly we will have
to see what a bazaar can do for us. -
There is a certain amount of eX-
cuse to be made for the young curate
who, remarking that some people came
to church for no better reason than
to show off their best clothes, finished
up as he glanced over his audience:
II am thankful to see, dear friends,
that none OF you have come here for
that reason.'
An Irish clergyman is credited with
having concluded a powerful oration
in this fashion: my brethren, let
not this world rob you Of a peace
which it can neither give nor take
away Which coupled with the re-
mark Of a fellow country colleague
who, in rea""niLg with a woman who
had lost her faith in Christianity,
told her: swell, you will 60 to hell:
YOU know; and I shall be very sorry,
indeed, to see you there.'
But what can be said Of the negro
student who, conducting the prayers
at one Of the great missionary col
leges, said: "Give us all pure hearts,
give us all clean hearts. give us ali
sweet hearts, to which the congrega-
tion made response, Amen
The giving out Of church notices
has often proved a pitfall for the un-
wary. ''Duing Lent - said a rector
lately, "several preachers will preach
on Wednesday evenings; but I need
not give their names, as they will all
be found hanging up in the porch:''
It was a rector who gave ont a
hymn beginning, Awake, Ny Soul,
Stretch Every Ne1ve;'' before his
sermon, and curate who read in the
lesson for the day: "He spake in
these words, and cathoppers came
and grasspillars innumerable,' but it
was at a young woman's Bible class
that, when asked what hymn should