The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1906-11-14
ZANGWILL EPIGRAMS
CLEVER THINGS THE WITTY AUTHOR
SAID ABOUT THE JEWS.


Illustration of Some of the striking
Hebrew characteristics.
SOME years since Israel Xangwill
when on visit to this country deliv'
cred an address in New York city to
his own people. A few of the epigrams
which he then coined concerning the
characteristics of the Hebrews are here
offered:
The Jews had no country Of their
own. They could not possess the land
of their fathers in reality. So they
made portable Palestine. They car
ried II wherever they went. This was Il
spiritual country. 1t could not be as
sailed by their oppressors.
There have been two conceptions Of
the Jew--one that he lends money and
wants II back again, the other that he
deals In old clothes. The truth Is Jews
have been everywhere, They have
been everything except pope of Rome,
and they have come near to that. IL
they dealt in old clothes II was because
papal DEGREES forbade them trading In
anything else but old clothes and old
iron.
Jews in way were as good as Unit
cd States bonds. only United States
bonds may be converted, but when
jew was converted he lost his value.
Because Shylock was rich and Jes-
sica beautiful all Jews are rich and all
Jewesses are beautiful wish it were
so,
A good looking jew was considered
the fool of the family, which is conso-
latlon for some of us.
The black plague swept over Europe.
The Jews escaped by reason of their
different hygienlc laws. The Christians
charged them with poisoning the wells,
and thousands of Jews were put to
death for not dying of the plague.
Colonel Roosevelt told me that the
Jews of his regiment were among his
bravest soldiers, and when Hobson had
to be kissed ii took Jewess to do II.
Jews not only furnished money for
| Columbus expedition. but his first
lieutenant was Jew. This officer dis
| covered tobacco, which Is greater than
| America.
Carlyle said the Jews had 10 humor,
but Carlyle was Scotchman.
A beggar stole a spoon from wealth.
Ter member of his race who had enter
tanned him. When detected the beggar
sald by taking the spoon l broke
| the eighth commandment. which says,
Thou shalt not steal If had not
| taken 1t would have broken the TENTH
which says. Thou shalt not covet.'
saw | had to break one commandment
anyhow. so | thought might as well
have the spoon"
1t has always been the desire of Jew
ish fathers. however rich, TO have learn
ed sons-in-law. however poor. do not
find this custom prevalent today.
To illustrate why there are no good
Jews in fiction Mr.. Zangwill related
the story of the lion and the cub. The
cub had seen painting of Samson
vanquishlng the lion, and said to its
parent: 81 have seen many contests
between lions and men, and always the
men have been the vlctors. Why are
there no pictures showing lions over
powerng men?" 1T is because we
lions have no painters was the par
ent's reply.
The Jews have been scattered to the
four winds among all the nations OF
the earth. They have been Of immense
service to every country that has har-
bored them. 1t reminds me of the story
of the crocodile which opened Its mouth
so that a bird might go into it and eat
the leeches which annoyed It, There
was mutual benefit from the operation.
1t is not strange that sometimes the
Jews find the crocodile's mouth closing
upon them. 1t was natural that Jews
should congregate around their syna-
gogues. They became to some extent
isolated from the people among whom
they dwelt. This isolation brought with
It suspicion. and suspicion caused more
isolation for mutual protection.
In mediaeval times the nations OF
Europe had conception of the Jewlsl
character compared to which Shake
speares Shylock was a saint. 1t was
this that brought about the compulsory
ghetto.
There are two general types of Jews
the German and the Spanish. The
Spanish Jews speak mixture of He
brew and Spanish. The German Jews
speak Yiddish, mongrel of bad Ger
man and every other language in thu
world
The Jews financed the crusades vol
UNFAIRLY and involuntarily. There was
nothing they had not financed, not ever
their own persecutlons.-New Yorl
Herald.
, The Difference Between Two Poets.
, Caudius on being asked what wa
Ne difference between him and Klop
stock replied: "Klopstock says, Tho
who art my inferior and yet my equal
approach hither, and, STOPPING to tn
, ground. relieve me of the burden o
: these dust begrimed neither integu
: ments,' whereas simply say, Johann
come and pull off my boots"