Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-01-30

OF MISSOURI
n nowlng wen. TO him a lawsuit Is
one unending round of merriment. Ey-
cry time he receives dividend he
bursts into uproarious laughter When
ever he drives a small competitor out
of business his glee can be heard
around u block even if the competitor
does commit suicide. The putting up
of prices that bring him in an extra
million makes him guffaw and double
up with the pure fun of the thing. His
wit grows keener as his fortune in
creases. The spectacle of the public
sweating and straining to pour money
into his Golfers is so excruciatingiy
laughable that he almost chokes with
hilarity And when the said public
becomes tired of the programme and
tries TO apply the law to him as it
does to ordinary folks his mirth knows
no bounds. 1t is so ludicrous he al
most explodes with merrimcnt. He
pokes fun at the lawyers who ask him
questions. at the states they represent,
at the supreme courts and at the world
in general 1t is so deliriously anus
ing that he roars at his own jokes. He
is so full of good nature that he could
extract joy from Il funeral. To be re-
minded that he has broken the laws
makes him kittenish in his mirth.
Nero may have fiddlel while Rome
burned, but If some OF our high finan-
ciers had been there their cachinnations
would have drowned the cries of the
victims 1t would. that is, if the high
financiers were losing no money by the
flames. There is nothing like well
developed sense of humor, especially
when you have strange hold on the
world and it is struggling to get away.
An Oily Streak For Tall Timber.
As all the world knows. the Rogers
jokes were sprung at the investigation
made by the state of Missouri into the
subsidiary concerns of the Standard
Oil company. Governor Folk and At
torney General Hadley of that state
got an idea that the Waters-Pierce Oil
company, the Republic Oil company
and the Standard Oil company OF In
diana were all owned by the Standard
Oil company of New Jersey, although
they were posing as independent con-
Germs. This would constitute con-
Spiracy in restraint of trade, which is
in contravention of the state laws, and
Hadley started suit to drive the COM
panies from Missouri. He first held
hearings at home, but found all trails
led to the Standard offices in New York.
So he concluded to face the lion in his
den. The chief difficulty in this pro-
gramme was to find the lion. If there is
anything that will make the Standard
king of beasts chase himself out of
state, it is the approach of a process
server. He can smell Il subpoena for a
mile, and when that dreaded scent
greets his nostrils he makes an oily
streak for tall timber. Hadley finally
did get service on III. II. Rogers, now
known as "Ha-Ha" Rogers, but Rookie
Teller and most of the other big fell
lows got away.
1.-The Man of Mystery"
The man chiefly wanted was Henry
Clay Pierce of the Waters-Pierce com
pany. He has lived at the Waldorf-As
toria hotel for a number of years,
where his seclusion and secretiveness
have caused him to be called 1.-THE mau
of mystery" A process server went to
the great magnate's rooms, which con-
sist of two sumptuous suits in about
the highest priced hotel on earth. How
the man with the subpoena got access
to the apartments is not related, but 1t
was probably through a subterfuge At
any rate, Pierce saw him first and fed
to the bathroom. There he locked him.
self in. The process server calmly
waited outside. while the oil king ham,
mered~and banged to attract attention.
As all the family We're out, he failed