The Washington herald., 1906-11-11
OFT is the fsll hat Of 50 weird a mien
As to be hated needs but 20 be seen;
But seen too oft, too often urged 10 Try
We first endure, then criticise, then buy.


Time was when l used to go over and
look at the suits of armor in the Corco-
ran Art Gallery and think how far ahead
the world has forged since people put on
things Ike that I used 70 get quite
puffed up thinking how no modern hu-
man would consent for a moment TO
wearing things you have to get out Of
with a can opener. That was before
went with Caroline to her corsetiere, and
now don't know at all what the world
is coming to. Caroline used to wear a
girdle, an arrangement Of satin ribbon
and whaIebones but what Caroline is
spending her money on now Is a cuirass
Outwardly it has general resemblance
TO the bodice Of an evening gown, and Il
reaches from Caroline's collar bone to
points at least two feet below either hip,
and from one end to the other 1t Is boned
and counter-boned, and stitched and
stitched till a bullet wouldn't pierce 1t
anywhere 1t gives her a figure like a
fashion plate, and without the slightest
regard to the outlines Caroline has &C
Quired during the course OF time. When
the corsetiere had put her into it, and
laced and laced till I was perfectly sure
Caroline's ribs would snap in another
minute Caroline turned TO me pridefully:
Lovely, isn't it?" she said.
confessed It.
But how are you going to breathe in
side it?" I asked.
'Breathe" said Caroline, I'm not go
ing to breathe. Who wants 70 breathe,
anyway"
I'm sure l don't know The only thing
I'm sure of is that If you want TO be In
the fashion this winter you've got TO
give up the habit of breathing. and even
after you've done that, l don't see how
you'll manage unless you give up eating,
TOO.
/ often wonder what becomes Of the
women who are out Of fashion. II would
seem, 10 a man from Mars, say, that
there must be some Of US who can't make
ourselves over every year or two. There
must be some Of US hung up in Blue
beard closets somewhere. but I don't re-
call anybody who has disappeared Time
was when everybOdy's shoulders drooped
little. and waists, if they weren't long
CT in the back than in the front, at least
ran straight around But who sees a
woman with figure like that now2 Ev-
erybOdy's straightforward and tipped
forward till even gTandmOthers go jauuti-
ly. And this year. in addition 10 being
straightforward, everybody's straight
sided from the waist down. Where are
the women who can't melt themselves
down and pour themselves into new
molds? Does chagrin keep them hidden
from public gaze? Hasn't anybody bones
that can't be shaved wherever Fashion
fvf how F.,T
the women who are out Of fashion, and
where, where is the band that so
vauntingly swore only a few years ago
that lacing was fashion women were too
sensible TO revive?
1 hear from the banks Of the Hudson
that not all the minor details Of the Up
ton Sinclair colony have as yet been sat
. isfactorily arranged. AT the beginning. it
was decided that no persons OF the ser
want class-though the colonists object to
speaking OF classes should be admitted
10 the colony Cooking and scrubbing
and housew0Tk in general were TO be done
by persons who had sufficient refinement
TO be received as the social equals OF the
colonists. They were to be Vassar and
Wellesley women who had a natural love
for pots and pans. Now, my friend. who
is waiting till things are fixed before she
joins the colony, writes me that curious
~ enough scarcely anyone with the neces-
sary intellectual and spiritual qualifica-
uons has applied for a kitchen job. Plain
ordinary houseworkers have offered their
services, but unhappily they were of the
servant class and couldn't be allowed to
chum with the colonists. Il is confident
ly expected that plenty of people Of ex-
actly the right sort VIII be found very
soon, but at present the alumnae are be-
having IN very shy way. To the carp
ing mind, if II isn't 10 laugh. II is at
least 10 grin little.
rs the Constitution of these United
States authoritative in the matter of
grammar and spelling?" a teacher in a
local private school asked me yesterday
III il is. 1 want to know it, and If it
isn't, I want to know that, too. Gram
mar and spelling aren't my subjects, but
one OF the other teachers was i'll last
week and / had TO take her classes.
Choosing was one OF the words in the
spelling lesson. I had the class spell
orally, and that word fell to a timid look
ing little girl of possibly thirteen. She
spelled it 'chusing. Next. / said. She
neld up her hand. I was sstOnished when
/ heard her voice. It was the biggest and
deepest voice I ever heard from a small
girl, and It had q stately ring 20 It.
beg your pardon she said, but
the Constitution spells 1t "chusing."'
Our sPelling-bOok and the dictionary
give IL choosing l said.
She waved her hand. that thirteen
year-old girl did, and looked at me as If
she felt infinite pity for me.
1 know it. she said, but the Consti-
tuition says 'chusing." 1 read it last
night. I'd rather follow the Constitution
than any spelling-boOk.'
-Of course. that threw the matter into
the plane OF higher patriotism, and all
I could say was Very we'll
After the class I saw a look in her
eye that told me she didn't mean TO
submit without a protest to getting a
black mark against 'chusing. and fairly
ran away from her. 1 hoped she would
mt show up IN the grammar class, but
she did. The class had a number of
words to put into sentences Senate
was one of them. The sentence that girl
wrote on the blackboard was:
The Senate are not in session
" Say "is, I said: The Senate is
It's singular.
she shook her head.
" The Constitution says it's plural she
said. And then she quoted
% THE Vice President OF the United
States shall be President of the Senate,
but shall have no vote, unless they be
equity divided.
90 They must mean Senate, she ex-
claimed. It couldn't refer TO States.
Senate is a plural noun
Il had to give it up. I told her to wait
till the regular teacher came back and
ask her I felt that IL I held out for is
4