Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1906-05-24
DoFETcHIT's NONSENSE
Don't Believe Everything.

Do ra ia sol la see mo joe sol do.
Now, can sing them things all da if
| want to and there will be no troub-
lie. but my head will catch it if | sing
any thing about that gal ust to corte
no heap of songs and / am the
best hand to kompose poltry and vers-
ces you ever seed. Here is one of my
verces.
Il can do without sox and do without
But | CANT do without the Squachee
muse,
NV gun on my sholder,
A squrril up a trea
| take ded anne at the moulder
And he said -. 90 fine to shute me.
Yer writer and Mrs. Dofetchit and
little Dofetchit went out to sea the
green grass grow Sunday and we sot
down on the greane grass as it was
growing. We watched the little Do
fetchit fodder around while we talked
over those days of you're and do you
believe it, we rally commenst cortin a.
gin. Well we didn't coret long til we
promised me you would not drink an
other drop and here you are nearly
drunk" He said, II AIM drunk but
l never-hic- felt-so- hic-dog gone good
in-hic- all my hic days. Just -hic-
bought -thisfor -hic-medicine- hic.
He kicked few more times and fell
out of the chair ON the floor. Mrs. Go
fetchit couldn't lift him on the bed so
he lay on the floor on bis double back
action back with that mammoth cave
mouth open for bear. The flies and
mats went in and when they came out
they seemed to say, ''We have been to
the picnic and had big bate of free
tongue
When Colt woke up he said, ''Darl-
is what?" THAT toddie,' he said,
and she said, II thought You brought
that to use as medicine in case of sick
ness only" 80 / did, darlin, but if
ever a poor man felt so sick it's me
rite now. I will promise you that
this is the last time / will ever drink
/ will never touch another drop after
this If get over this. - So she got
the jug and Colt went for it and soon
he went again and again and SO ON I'M
| til the last was gone and then he asked
his wife if she didn't hide little drop
somewhere. She said, mo you have
quit drinking, Colt, and can't keep
commenced talkin about the trials,
troubles and tribulashuns and tempta-
shuns we had had and oh it makes the
water run in my eyes ever time think
it ore, but we had a blamed big fuss
before we got back home.
Gofetchit cume over to my house the
other day, gun on shoulder, and sed,
3d. let's 90 hunting and l said
where is your dog He said "We
won't need no dog. We will still
hunt. So did not go but Colt went
out to hunt a still l don't know
whether he found it or not but know
he was a still hunting and I think he
got to be road overseer while he was
still hunting, or at least he took both
sides of the road as he came back.
After Colt got over big whiz he
promised Mrs. Gofetchit he would new
er touch another drop as long as he
may live. Two days after that he told
her he would not fetch it unless it was
for sickness. Four days after he said
to her, II won't bother whiskey I'M
less it bothers me! "Six days later
he said he would take drink with
any of his friends hut would not buy
any or would not drink enough to feel
the effects of it. Eight days later he
come in very full and she said, "Goit,
you are drinking. He. said, "Oh ]
took little drink or two and it flowed
to my head, Mrs. Colt, but want you
to understand one thing, you will new
er see the old man down drunk again.
Ten days later he ordered gallon
and drank about half of it before he got
to the house with it. His wife said,
Now, Colt you are full and you
it at all since you quit. So Colt re-
membered where fellow had hid a
half gallon under brush pile and he
did not want to steel the mans whis-
key so he begin to pray. He prayed
that the half gallon that the man had
concealed under the brush be sent to
him but it was not sent. Then he be-
gan to pray that he be sent after it and
when he did that the half gallon of
whiskey sure came.
| overheard Mrs. Dofetchit the other
day. She was talkin to little Dofetch-
it and this is what she said, but Mr..
Editor, keep it to yourself and out of
your paper for my hed's sake. ''Duz
you love your pappie, little Dor
''Ess - Your Nanny duz to. Who
is the purtiest man you ever see. +" Lit
tie Do said. Papa Eat is what you
nanny sinks so too. I'm dad your
papa didn't marry Eat uzzer dirl, he
was tortin amt your" Little Do,
less, is to- "Muzzer hat to bus
his head agin if he sings about jat uz-
ger dial again, won't usY' and about
that time stepped in and little Do
said mo you won't bus my papa S
he'd nuzzer, and said, Has she
been talking about Dustin my hedy'
Little Do said, ''Ess, - and Mrs. D.
said, Now, baby, you tell a story on
mamma. Mamma was talking about
Dustin that old cats head if it tries
to catch papa's white rabbit again. .
Of course | didn't want fuss so
never said something never got mad
and | didn't say nothing to her and
she said the same TO me. Cold Wave,
send me a fish pole. Don't send very
long one If its little short | can
nail a piece on it but if it is too long
would not know what to do with it.
Mrs. Thos. Smith came and Ashland
Smith too, and both of them stayed
two hole days. Surprised am ! but
never the less they sure did come and
go.
| will now sing You song stand
the storm for it won't be long. Way
| 1nu-,, -, Me-, cct,,,; Tho rrirl | iDve