The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-04-20
JOKE ON HEPBURN
Georgia Committeeman EndOws the
COnoressman With 2 New Name.

Representative pete" Hepburn, of
Iowa, chairman of the house commit
tee on Interstate and foreign COM
merce. and the author of the railroad
rate bill thai has been such a bone of
contention in the senate. dearly loves
a ioke-when it is on the other fellow.
That's the reason he is not especially
fond of a joke which some of his col
leagues have been passing around since
his congressional party composed of
members Of the rivers and harbors
committee and Hepburn's committee
returned from their recent junketing
trip through the south.
Down at cambridge, Georgia, in
Representative Jim" Griggs' district,
the congressional party was given a
royal welcome of the kind that person
flied true southern hospitality. The
climax was a hig banquet with the Wis
iting statesmen as guests of honor.
During the afternoon and at the dim
ner an unlimited supply Of liquid re-
freshments was available. and the head
of the cambridge entertainment COM
mittee did his best to live up to the
southern standards and pledge the
very good health of each and every
one of his guests early n often.
It was a big undertaking, for the
number of guests was large. and there
is a limit, even to the capacity of a
southern host. Consequently, by the
time the banquet had reached the
speech-making stage. the head of the
local committee. who presided as toast
master, was somewhat the worse for
wear.
But, "he seen his duty and ne done
it," 1t was up to him to introduce
Colonel Hepburn to reply to the ad-
dress of welcome. an he steadied him.
self against the table and began a fer
vid speech that was mellow in parts
but was one of the most glowing trlb-
yates one man eve paid to another.
Without mentioning the name of the
man whom he was about to introduce,
he referred to him as one of the great
est statesmen of the day n rambled
on in that wise for several minutes
Ladies and gentlemen" he said, as
he reached his climax. 1T is not often
that cambridge is so hOnOred as she
is 'onigl t IN having as her guest a MN
of such prOminr me-, in national affairs.
7 know you are all anxious to hear
from him and I shall detain you no
longer in telling o who he is. L don't
need to tell you who he is. You all
know him. Everybody knows him. His
| name is a household word in Georgia
a. II 10 III il4S o"11 SS1NC NiiN
out the length and breadth of the land.
Ladies and gentlemen. I take great
| pleasure in presenting this eminent
F., statesman to you. Ladies and gentle
| men. 1 honor myself and honor you in
| presenting"
At this DIN the POSTMASTER falter-
ed. Ladies and gentlemen" he began
las 1 said before. the man | am about
to introduce needs no Introduction to a
Georgia audience. I take great pleas
ure in presenting"
The postmaster was stumped and
turning to the man sitting at his right
he asked in a hoarse whisper-"tWhat
in hell's his name. anyhow"
Peter Hepburn" came the whisper
| ed reply.
"Of course" rallied the postmaster.
| with a maudlin smile. II knew you
knew him. I sresent. ladies and gentle
| men. Billy Hepburn-dear old Billy
| Hepburn whom everybody loves,"
And that is why. If you want to get
a rise out of the Hon. Pete" Hep
burn. of Iowa. these days all you have
to do is to call him "Bify'-"dear old
Billy Hepburn."-J. E. Monk in Indus-
trial News.