davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13

THE DINNER IN THE COzY DINING ROOM
WENT OFF DELIGHTFULLY."-.
gularly eXasperating domestic circUm-
stances, the consciousness of her own
inefficiency dismayed her.
Funny" (she crumbled the yellow
slip into a ball and aimed it at the
we had better do
Funny, not at all averse to being
cuddled in lace draped, family fragant
arms, promptly lost herself in somno-
lence.
IF only Della had not gone to the
funeral of that grandchild that expires
with periodical regularity every three
WeekS!' ObliviOus of the Indifference
Of her auditor, Miss Ray kept MUIR
muring ON. "And-if Ellen Jane were
not in bed with a jumping toothache-
we might pull through, Funny. Dear,
dear! All the years l was learning
Latin, why could | not have learned
how to cook something except Judges?
Gracious! Who's that?' Funny was
promptly and peremptorily dispos-
sessed.
Miss Ray hurried in response to the
brisk knock at the back door. "Its
never you, my dear!' cried Isola Ray.
She had flung open the door and was
gathering a little sweet faced, apple
checked countrifed woman into the
Joyful embrace of her loving young
arms. I'D be glad to see you any
time, Aunt Elvira, but just now-well,
just now your coming seems provi-
dentialr'
Aunt Elvira returned cordially the
caress Of the gracious arms and lips.
"Now, how does that happen, honey"
she asked.
She had entered the kitchen-all
shining tiles, enamel and blue and
white kitchen ware. She put her old
brown, cracked, bullying bag down by
the sink and with one dexterous twist
had Invested herself of bonnet and
coat.
"Oh, Delia-that's the cook-has gone
to one OF her periodical funerals Her
relatives are legion, and every few
weeks one of them dies. And the 9TH
er maid has toothache. And Victor
telegraphed he was bringing his best
friend-who has not before visited this
city-up to dinner tonight. You know
how my brother detests any cooking
except what is done at home And
beyond Judges or a good salad don't
know how to make thing!'
Don't you worry. Just you do what
old Aunt E,viry tells you The small
woman had fshed a fresh apron, a
pencil and the back of an envelope out
of her bag
You get the things | write down
never mind the spelling-sent in quick,
dear Then go and get some flowers,
show me where the linen and silver are
kept and put on the prettiest dress
you've got to your back. Sure. Co
on, now! Didn't l have you all the
time your mother-bless your dear
heart-was in the north? And It's
even prettier than she was-you are.
And they called her the beauty of her
day"
ooh, you Iovable old fatterer.'' cried
the girl Then she kissed again the lit
tie red, wrinkled face and fed to the
telephone.
She slipped on a discreet and envel-
oping cloak of dark blue silk and went
off to buy her flowers. And coming
home she looked down upon the sheaf
of long stemmed, dark red roses lying
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13
Il DINNER
DECEPTION
By Kate M. Cleary
Copyright, 1905, by G. T. Vtskniskkt
By Kate M. Cleary

The telegram dropped from the hand
of Isola Ray.
'Now, what do you think of that,
Funny?' she asked.
Funny, big, tortoise shell cat, sig
nified her sympathy by putting her pur-
ring head against the amber satin slip
per of her young mistress. The latter
picked up the yellow slip of paper and
read it over
"Will bring Edward Garden up to
dinner this evening Carte blanche in
all things, of course, but do the best
you can, dear girl
Now, Isola Ray, but lately returned
from college to make home for and
with a wealthy bachelor brother, was
ignorant of household lore and quite
preposterously pretty. Thus suddenly
confronted by an emergency under sim
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13
The EcIipSe of Art.

Playwright Ito friend-I'm going to
the theater tonight. Friend-I thought
you never went to see the first nights
performance of your plays. Play
wright-Tm not going to see the play.
l am going to see how many people are
there
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13
Here's Relief For women

IF you have pain in the back, Uniary,
Bladder or Kidney trouble and want a
certain pleasant herb cure for woman's
ills, try Mother Gray's Australian Leaf.
It IS safe and never-failing monthly
regulator. Al druggists or by mail so
cents. Sample package FREE. Address
the Mother Gray Co. Leroy, N. Y.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13
Enjoyed 1t.

Look at that Boston girl at the pho
nograph. She is actually smiling"
eyes, she is listening to Professor
Beacon's delightful dissertation on the
'Fungous Diseases That Attack the
Larvae of the Brown Tail Moth -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13
A Hard Lot

of troubles to contend with spring from
a torpid liver and blocaded bowels, un-
less you awaken them to their proper
action with DR. Kings New Life Pills;
tie pleasantest and most effective cure
for Constipation. They prevent Appen-
dicitis and tone up the system. 25c at
FL. j. Stangl's drug store.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13
Linen Paner.

The only real linen paper made in the
United States is that used for govern
ment documents. All the so called lin
en- papers are largely made from cot
ton rags with some linen mixed in.
The reason for this is that it is ex
tremely difficult to separate cotton and
linen rags. The government gets
around this difficulty by using nothing
but clippings from collars and shirts.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13
Wisdom.

Wisdom never opens her doors to
those who fre not willing to pay the
price of adm ion. There are no bar
gains at her counters, no short cuts to
her goal ''Pay the price or leave the
goods" is her motto.-Success Maya
zine
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13
SQueIched Again.

''Mrs. Peck, I have stood your bully
Raging just as long as propose to do
So I shall proceed to give you a
piece Of my mind"
"a piece of your mind, Henry Peck?
A piece Of your mind! Talk about two
bites of cherryv' Chicago News.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13

Bobby-Mother, can | go out aud
play with the Jones boy? Mother-No;
he doesn't go to church! Bobby-Weli
can go out and punch him in the nose
for not going to church ?-Boston Post.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13

Aliens Foot-Ease, a powder; cures
Tired, Aching, Sweating, Swollen feet.
Sample sent Free, also Sample of FooT-
EASE SANITARY CoRN-PAD, new inven-
ton. Address, Allen s. Olmsted, Leroy
N Y
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13

Foley's Honey and Tar affords imme-
date relief to asthma sufferers in the
worst stages and if taken in time will
effect cure.-H. J. Stangl
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13

Sorrow has not been given to us for
sorrows sake, but as a lesson which
we are to learn somewhat, which once
learned it ceases to be sorrow.-Car-
lyle.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13
A Mild EDithet.

In Sweden they cali a plumber rat
edingsentreprenor." In this coun-
try we have heard plumbers called
worse names than that.-ToIedo Blade
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13

During the summer kidney irregulari-
ties are often caused by excessive drink
ing or being overheated. Attend to the
kidneys at once by using Foley's Kidney
Cure. H. J. Staugl
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1906-07-13

Blessed are the missionaries of cheer
fulneSS.-Child.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
ONE OF THE SIGNS,

The past month has witnessed con-
siderable damage ia property and loss
Of life. by destructive storms. In the
early part Of the month two violent and
seemingly distinct storms visited
Johnson county Nebraska, resulting in
the death OF four persons, fatal injury
of two and painful injury Of Ave others,
The first three OF these victims were
killed by lightning near the town OF
Elm Creek, A party OF threshers were
at work on the farm Of Henry Wal.
theirs when rain and electric storm
came up. Four Of the men crawled
under the threshing machine. which
was shattered by lightning bolt and
three instantly killed. The second storm
tornado In violence, swept the coun-
try district ten miles west OF Tecumseh,
demollshlng schoolhouse. Many
barns and windntills were also blown
down.
A few days after this. report came
from Wilmington, N. G., that for six
or eight hours more than 200 men, wo-
men and children were cut of from the
mainland IN imminent peril. while cot
tage, hotel and railroad property was
damaged to the extent OF $4,000 BY
fierce northeast storm which swept
wrightsville Beach, nine miles east of
Wilmington. Hundreds OF cottagers
received their first intimatiou OF dan
scr upon awakening in the morning 10
and breakers sweeping clear across the
beach 10 the Sound and rolling high up
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

on the mainland, two miles beyond.
The storm Increased In fury until noon,
when the rescue work was begun. Surf
boats were sent across the channel at
great risk, bringing first the women and
children. then later the men.
The day following this fierce north
easter. Hongkong, China, was swept by
destructive typhoon A number Of
steamships were sunk, and others were
driven ashore. A conservative estimate
placed the number OF Chinese who lost
their lives at 5000, and the total OF the
material damaged to the colony AT s2O,-
100000 The steamer Albatross, with
$50 passengers on board foundered near
Futaumen Pass only six passengers
and two of the crew were saved. They
swan ashore The steamer Hong
kong also was lost and her entire
crew Is missing. The steamer YIngfat
from samchun foundered and 100 pas
sengers and her crew are missing. Only
two Of the crew are known 10 have
been rescued.
only few days ago reports from
Pensacola. Fla, told of n hurricane
that passed inland west Of there. Con-
siderable damage was done 10 shipping
and many lives were lost There have
also been some notable railroad acct
dents during the month.
=
communication have brought the oppo-
site parts Of the world close together.
A calamity visits a nation on the other
side of the globe. The next day the de-
tails OF 1t are read In almost every
language under the sun. How different
from century ago. knowledge Is be-
ing multiplied indeed. And this is said to
be one OF the signs of the approaching
end Of an epoch.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
THEORY AS TO RECENT WRECKS
Oakland Enaulrer.


Tho theory that the large number OF
casualties to Pacific coast steamships
are due to changing ocean currents APP
pears to be given credence among
scientists In Japan, who have given the
subject of chronological disturbances
much study. II Is believed by many
that the bed of the ocean being more
plastic than the rim Of the continents,
has been changed by the commissions
(which precipitated the great earth
quakes at Valparaiso and san Fran
CISCO and that, owing to these new
convolutions In the bottom Of the
ocean, the direction of some of the
great rivers Of the sea, as the great
ocean currents are called, has been
changed so that ship masters have
missed their bearings and run upon
rocks and reefs. Among those who
nave recently met this fate are tho
steamers Manchuria and Mongolia and
the United States transports sheridan
and Thomas All Of these vessels were
In charge of experienced navigators,
and the casualties which have attend
ed them appear TO be most unaccount-
able on any other theory than that OF
shifting ocean currents
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
GUARDING AGAINST TYPHOID.
Chicago Chronicle.

Eternal vlgilancs is the price OF
safety from typhoid fever, as the
health department shows A chain Is
no stronger than its weakest link aud
there still remain weak links in tho
chain Of protection against the most
deadly Of all northern fevers. The
washing Of milk bottles In polluted
water Is enough to render the NO,-
100000 drainage canal of no avail.
The fight against disease admits OF
no relaxation Of the closest watch
against the enemy.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
cANADA's GREATEST YEAR.
Detroit Free Press.

The fiscal year Just closed was for
Canada the greatest N the history OF
her commerce American interest in
this trade development Is fairly illus
trated by the fact that the United
States sold to Canada 81 per cent OF
all her purchases. Her imports last
year from the United states alone were
only a little less IN value than her
total imports from all countries in
1900. England Is the heaviest buyer IN
our markets, with Germany in the Sec
ond place and Canada IN the third. The
Canada's foreign requirements. Eng
land supplied 2s.5 per cent, France 2.S
ner cent Germany 2.3 per cent and her
purchases from all other lands are IN
cluded IN the remaining 1872 per cent.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
CONFERENCE NOTICE.

The Seventy-seventh semi-annual
general Conference OF the Church OF
Jesus Christ OF Latter-day Saints Will
assemble In the Tabernacle, Salt Lake
City, on Friday. october 5, 1906. at 10
q m. A full attendance of the officers
and members Is hereby requested.
JOSEPH +. SMITH.
JOHN r. WINDER,
ANTHoN II. JUND
First Presidency Church Of Jesus
Christ Of Latter-day Saints.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
JUST FOR FUN.
Out of Action.

Mother-Where do you come from this
time? | suppose you've been fighting
with Paul again. Your clothes are slm-
ply ruined and ! shall have to buy
you another new suit.
Boy-Thats nothing, ma. You should
see Paul. I've given him such a tan
ming. / guess his mother will have to
buv not only new suit, but new
little bov--Rire,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
SUCCESSFUL CITY GOVERNMENT

The affairs OF the city Of Galveston
ness corporation, and II IL claimed that
the experiment has proved signal sue
cess. George X. Turner contributes to
the October McClure's an article on the
subject, in which he says in part:
1.-THE government in tho four and a
half years preceding the commission
had incurred $3.50, 900 OF debt for current
running expenses; the new government
incurred absolutely no debt for this
purpose The former government had
had to it's credit s425, 900 more in as
sessed taxes than the new one. After
making allowance for the inefiicency or
tax collection under the old regime, the
commission, during its first four and a
half years, had saved the city at least
$500, 900, which It must have raised by
taxes or added debt If the old admins
tration had been IN charge, In addition,
the commission had saved $500, 900 more.
OF this, 100000 was laid away by re-
ducing the net debt by that amount
and 100000 was put into permanent
Improvements, which, IL made at all.
must certainly have been paid for by
bonds II the former administration had
been IN charge. 1t might be objected
that the slightly smaller population in
the second period, under the commits
sion, would call for smaller expendi-
lures. But this is not true, The second
period has called for larger outlays--for
all kinds of repairs after the storm and
for the extension OF the city's functions
IN every line, excepting possibly one
the fire department. And all this has
been done under a slight average de-
crease in the tax-rate."
A city government that can save the
community from bankruptcy and re-
store It's credit, reduce the annual ex-
penditures and save a million dollars IN
a little over four years, Is certainly
worthy OF commendation.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
Friend, Go Up Higher.

Applicant see you advertised for a
janitor, sir. I am married man-no
children; neat, honest, patient and tact
full.
Agent-I regret to say you would
hardly do as a janitor. my friend: but
walt Couldn't | get you as tenant?
Judge.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
The ElIgibles and the Others.

A new religious sect in Topeka de-
mands that women converts wear their
hair hanging down their back. and
while no one would dare suggest that
q woman carries vanity into religious
matters. 1t Is a fact. that only women
with unusually long hair have been
converted. The short and thin haired
can't find anything In the doctrine
that appeals TO Decentralization Globe.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

It is very doubtful II the Cars land
policy viii have much effect on the
peasantry II should prove very
material benefit TO them, but they have
become so indoctrinated with numerous
revolutionary theories that IL is very
uncertain II anything short OF the
realization OF their political aspirations
viii satisfy them, perhaps that would
not Russia liz working out great
destiny Of some Kind
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
Please Call Again.

Office Boy---What name, please?
Foreign Visitor-Herr Schvartsel-
hurghhausenmaster geschaftsmongos
manteufel.
ONCE Boy-Youll have to call again,
slr The office closes IN five minutes
and | shant have time to pronounce
your name before the boss is gone
Bon Viyant.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Meat packers who have failed to Sc
cure department OF agriculture labels
to put on their products will heed the
next admonition to buy their tickets
before they start. It's a good rule to
observe the rules.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Mark Twain says that his daughter
inherited her musical abilities. Now
If she has only inherited her fathers
humorous qualities the world will be a
great galner.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Has impersonating an officer ceased
to be an offense under the law? II II
has by whose authority has Il?
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Bourke Cochran says that he prefers
riot TO rottenness. Is It necessary to
have one or the other?
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
In Boston.

Little Erasistratus--I don't plaw with
Mavracardatus Jones any more.
Mother-Why not, Erasistratus?
Little Eras!stratus-Be he splits
his infinitives-Puck.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Intervention IN Cuba was ac-
complished with a promptness thar
would have astonlshed Buck Fanshaw
himself.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Al Adams. the policy king has COM
mltted suicide by shooting II was the
poorest policy possible for him to have
adopted
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

A hundred per cent net profit on coal
Is entirely too much of a good thing
for the good of the people,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Senator Beveridge is Of the opinion
that Intervention will stay put"
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

The sultan treats Ambassador Lesh-
man with the same courtesy that he
treats an ultimatum.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Secretary Root has returned to
Washington and must wonder where he
Is at in this Cuban business.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

If Mr.. Taft is persona non grata the
Cubans have the discretion TO conceal
the fact.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

The Labor ticket already knows how
to labor but it win have to learn how to
walt
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
Millinery Department
Two Big Spssial.--s3.s5 and s., s.

\ COMPLETE LINE Of dressy, trimmed hats
are now on the way from the east, Our buyer
purchased large quantities with view TO this sale,
and thus obtained price concessions that will
able us to convince patrons we are giving
them unprecedented values. To see them Is 10
want them. Two special prices for Conference
week. 1895 and Si.e5.
fine silk braid and silk velvet shape, all
colors. newest effects ranging In price from 5000
to $500 during Conference week--f5 per cent on.
All White Hats, ranging in price from $175
to $3.50 during Conference week--15 per cent of.
CONFERENCE yISIToRS--MAKE OUR MIL
LfNERY DEPARTMENT YOUR HEADQUAR-
TIERS WHEN IN THE cITY--IT Is A COM
PORTABLE PLACE TO REST.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Intervention Is preparatory to ben
evolent assimilation"
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

1t is no longer true that In New York
all roads lead to Jerome.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Most candidates for office suffer very
much from insomnia until after cleo
ton.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

once again General Funston is right
in the SWIM
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Palma feels that there's no place
like home" but that he hasn't any.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Sweet sixteen--the balloons that
sailed from Paris.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02
Silks and Dress Goods
Attractive Prices For This Week

BLACK TAFFETA SiLK--Beautiful finish
high lustre, sells regularly az 75c. Conference
price per yaro '''''''''''''' '''',,,,,, SOC
WHITE WASH SiLkS--ln tho popular vida
widths, 81 in and 36 in. ranging In price from
b0c to Sl,25 During Conference time will be "a
yucca s.ss.,..'t. 's,....s..,,, % cont
DRESS GOODS--Three lines Of pretty and
seryiceable Dress Goods, In shadow pads colored
checks and pretty mixtures all wool Regular
price sc and 75c, during Conference time viii he
sold AZ. per yard OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. soc
SILK PEAU DE CYGNE--For dresses linens
ETC., sold regularly for 65c, Conference week Der
yard .''''''.'''' '''''''' ''''s,,'..,.. i5e
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-10-02

Is there a Henry Plummer gang in
this city?
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-04-19
LinwOod Links.

Too late for last week.
The members of the Ariel
Christian Church organized a
Sunday School Sunday.
Mrs. John McCullom left for
Madisonvi)le Friday to attend
the funeral of her father, John
Wilson.
Ella Hayden, of New London
is the guest of her brother, Edd
Hayden and wife.
The young folks from this
place attended a musical at the,
home of DR.. Birney and wile.
at Hatch Saturday night.
j. G. Shaw visited in PALMYRA
Sunday and Monday.
Cleve Wike who has been in
the past three months is SLOWLY
improving,
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-04-19
Tries the Patience of a Judge.

The judge had n,s patience
sorely tried hv lawyers who
wished to ialR, and by men
who tried to evade jury service.
Between hypothetical ques-
tons and excuses it seemed as
If they never would get to the
actual trial of the case. So
when the puzzled little German
who had been accepted by both
sides jumped up the Judge was
exdsperated.
"Shudge" cried the German.
What is itS" demand the
judge,
Il think I like to go home 10
my wife" said the German.
You can't" retorted the
judge. "Sit down."
But, sbudge. persisted the
German. Il don't tink L make a
good shurror."