davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
A Slight misunderstanding.

A little, girl; 8 years Of age, from a
family ewho thought a great deal of
style and dress, was calling on a lady
friend one day. She described a new
suit her mama had just gotten.
Then looking the lady over with a
critical eye, said with childish frank
ness: elf you have as much money
as my papa says you have, why don It
you dress nicer
The lady smiled and said: HWe do
not believe. in putting all our money
into Dress, Ill.
ooh, no. we don It either,'' said the
little girl. We, have two, elegant
pieces of cutglass.' ~. r
Hazel whitney. =
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
A Doubtful Compliment.

Kate Douglas Wiggin, the author of
D." Rebecca,'' was giving a reading from
her works at ~Chautauqua. After the
reading was over, an old man ap.
preached the author. He wore no col
lar, his trousers were very short, and
every indication told Of the /" way,
back farmer'' ~. S-..,y.. =. -
~ cum forty miles, he said to Mrs
Wiggin, "to hear We read.''
at all. Fact is, l can't read anything
that is what we call real good, OF
mounts to much. I IN what We wud
call an ignorant man, for your books is
bout the only books I kin read'
Jamestown, n, D. -. d F. B.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
An English View of Columbus.

An English nobleman and his valet
were touring America and while on
their way to the great west, the valet
seemed to be in deep study.
"What is the matter?'' asked his
master.
~ was Just thinking. my lord,' said
he, that Columbus didn't do such
big thing when e discovered this ERE
country, halter hall is said and done
'Ow could e 'elp hitg" M. M.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
Unfair Conditions.

Two boys who managed to be rather
unruly in school so exasperated their
main after hours and write their names
1000 times. They plunged into tho
task. Some fifteen minutes later one Of
them grew uneasy and began watching
his companion in disgrace
Suddenly the first one burst out with
despair between his sobs, and said to
the teacher:
" 'Tain't fair, mum! His name g
Bush and mines Schluttermeyer.'
IT D.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
Prizes for stories printed on this
nara o>n.rHad InHIcofad

Prizes for stories printed on this
page are awarded as Indicated.
For the coming week T ne jour
ma again offers IS, first prize; So,
second prize. and So. third prize. for
"the best story you ever heard"
1t is not required that stories be
original, but new and good stories,
retold In the writer's own words,
will be considered In the competition.
Write only on one side Of the paper,
giving name and address with each
story. Specify If you want your
Initials used as signature. Do not
send clippings or enclose stamps, as
manuscripts Will not be returned.
Stories should not exceed 800 words,
and should be of = humorous nature.
Omit lntroductlons. and be brief.
Checks Will be sent to prize winners.
Write name and address plainly on
each story you send.
Address, Best Story Editor, Jour-
nal, Minneapolis. Mlnn.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
Gods Office Hours.

Willie's mother had told him that
If he went to the river to play he should
go to bed. One day she was away
and on coming home about o CLOCK
in the afternoon, found Willie in bed.
"What are you in bed for7'' asked
his mother.
81 went to the river to play, and ]
knew you would put me in bed, SO
didn It wait for you to come.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
Lots to Be Thankful For.

The members Of the weekly prayer
being thankful An old lady, poorly
dressed and showing evidences Of
great want, arose. Z
"Wall,' - she said, 1--we got heap
to be thankful fer. I've only got two
teeth in my head, but, praise the Lord,
they HIT A. R. G..
Sank Center, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
His Attractive Surroundings,

One Of the many friends of a noted
humorist, upon entering their clubhouse
one evening, saw the usual group of adj
mirers gathered about him to enjoy
his witticisms. Passing over that way
the friend remarked: "Hello, old chap
surrounded by your coterie, as usual7'
Ges,' replied the humorist with d
twinkle in his eye, "likewise by my
panterie and my vesterie''
Ada, MINI. Helen Andrews,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
Saved from a Sad Fate.

Mrs. Vanderbilt once befriended a
poor tramp. The tramp approached
Kind lady if you do not give me
some some money | shall be forced to do
do.o 0e'o ~
She gave him a dollar, which he
seemed very grateful for, and then she
. And what dreadful thing, poor man
have I saved you from9''
Work, was the astonishing reply
Mrs. G.. f. C..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
Fixing the Responsibility

The play was Hamlet and the per-
formance was for one night only. All
the townspeople attended the show, and
the weekly paper was held open for the
notice. The next day the criticism read
thus: =. =
Hamlet was played incur town
hall last night by Mr.. W and his
company. It was a great social event.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
One Way of Looking at It.

After listening to some South sea
tales tales related by his father, little boy,
ther, what s cannibals" - ~
In order to avoid shocking his son,
the parent replied: IA cannibal is an
altruist, my boy, one of the best of
But, papa insisted the lad,
"what' s an altruistq'
"Oh, he's one who loves his fellow
men far better than himself
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
Henry Was Nice.

The late Harry Harland, the novelist,
was. seldom kept after school in his
teachers was a charming young lady,
who called him up in class one morning
and said to him: ..r r.. -. 49,,
"Henry, name some Of the chief
beauties of education.''
"Schoolmistresses,' the boy an
swered, smiling into his teacher s pref
ty eyes. Viola Coutts.
Grand Forks, N. D. +: &c.,,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
Farm Improvement.

One of the" Fresh Air Fund.- child
rem, visiting on a farm. was surprised
at the seemingly modern improvements
there. Seeing swiftly whirling
windmill beneath which a number of
pigs were wallowing in the mud, he
yelled to his companions, eli, feliers!
Looky here! They re got 'lectric fans
to cool the pigs with" Il. E. M.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15

howled Harkins. Whereupon. the old
from his pocket and, offering them to
Harkins, said:
"Well, I AIM much to give an it
looks to me like a we'll -dressed, healthy
lookin man like you, ought to be above
begging on the streetcars, but. mebbe
you we been suddenly unfortinite, an ,
here's couple o. cents for you, and
Harkins rushed from the car gritting
his teeth, while the jeers and bowling
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
American Weather

remarked II guess Iee cd si It S SHY r AND
sometime poorly queek.N ssYees do
eh?| replied an Irishman, "what bust.
ness have yees to purtend to know
galoot?'' M n IL
Little Falls, MINI, "
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
Notwithstanding,

"Here, hold my horse minute, will
you9'
"Sir! I'm member of congress!'
nNever mind;, you look honest; IN
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
laughter of the other passengers
sounded in his burning ears.
H. @. Nickels.
An Appropriate Motto.

The guests at. large dinner party
did ample justice to the tempting
viands as course after course was
served. They were loud in their praises
Of the Chinese cook Of whom the host
es was justly proud They declared
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15

"Did you say your prayers before
you went to bed2'' asked his mother.
"No,' said Willie, "you don IT sup
pose God would be around here
this lime of day, do you7 He's at his
offiee..' Irene Dewey.
| Jamestown N D I .s. ~.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15

they never ate more delicious or appe-
tizing delicacies
Finally, the Chinaman brought in the
last course. huge cake heavy with
frostlng: He was converted China
man, and, desiring to honor his religion,
he put a motto on the cake that salts
fed his conscience. It read: "Prepare
to meet thy God.' Irene Rice.
Waverly, MINI.
- :
/" Umpire Bill Evans declares Chicago to be the
hardest city in the league to work in
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15

There has been long discussion as
to whether Bacon or Shakspere wrote
the plays commonly attributed to Shak-
spere. It can be easily settled now
Let the graves of the two writer's be
opened. The one who turned over last
night is the author N. G,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-15
An Irish Bull,

"Who lives, in that big house on the
corner, Dennis9'
"The Wildly O 'Malley, sor, who is
dead' ~ o..
'Indeed! When did she dies''
eff she had lived till next Sunday
she would have been dead year,
Miss A. Philstrom,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1906-04-06
For State Treasurer.

Ralph w. Hoyt, who has made an
enviable reputation as sterling man
of affairs and discharged the enormous
duties of the treasurership of Multi
nomah county for two terms, is max
ing splendid race for the nomin-
alton for state treasurer. He is a
staunch adherent of the party, an un-
selfish worker and most energetic
and progressive citizen, representative
of the young aud better element of
young mon in politics III this state.
He enjoys the respect and confidence
of the flnanciers of Oregon to whom
he is we'll known. Mr.. Hoyt believes
that it is the duty of the state treas
urer to allow all the county and town
banks to share in the handling and
deposits of tax funds of the different
counties and careful consideration of
this point will convince the voter that
this is only fair and proper. His Sc
lection for this post would be, i'll
the estimation of many, the safest for
the responsibility of the place and he
would be sure to discharge the duties
of the place with high sense of
honor aud with credit to the best in
terests of the state at large.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1906-04-06

this act, approved February "a, 1908,
the Peoples Power League of Oregon
duly filed in his Office on February
3rd, 1906, an initiative petition con-
tanning 1862 signatures properly at
tached to copy of said measure,
certified in accordance with law, de-
manding that proposed amendment
to Section 2 of Article XI of the
Constitution of the State of Oregon
shall be submitted to the legal voters
of the State of Oregon for their ap-
proval or rejection at the general cleo
ton to be held in said state on the 4th
day of June, being the first Monday
in June, 1906, designated by said
Peoples Power League of Oregon as
Constitutional amendment giving
cities aud towns exclusive power to
enact and amend their charters,
which said proposed amendment is
hereinafter particularly set forth.
Now, Therefore, /, Geo. E. Cham
berlaiu, Governor of the State of
Oregon, in obedience to the provisions
of said act herein before first mention
ed do hereby make and issue this
Proclamation to the people of the
State of Oregon, announcing that the
Peoples Power League of Oregon has
filed said initiative petition with the
requisite numbe of signatures thereto
attached demanding that there be sub
mitted to the legal voters of the State
of Oregon for their approval or rejec-
ton at the regular election to beheld
on the 4th day of June, 1906, said day
being the first Monday in said month,
proposed amendment to Section 2
of Article Xl of the Constitution of
the State of Oregon, designated by said
Peoples Power League of Oregon as
Constitutional Amendment giving
cities and towns exclusive power to
enact and amend their charters, which
said proposed amendment is as fol-
lows:
''Section 2. Corporations may be
formed under general laws, but shall
not be created by the legislative
assembly by special laws. The legis
lative assembly shall not enact, amend
or repeal any charter or act of in
corporation for any municipality,
city or town. The legal voters of
every city and town are hereby grant
ed power to enact and amend their
municipal charter, subject to the
Constitution and criminal laws of the
State of Oregon"
Done at the Capitol at Salem, this
28th day of February, A. D., 1906.
(Signed) Geo. E. Cham berlain,
Cover nor.
By the Governor:
(Signed) f. l. Dunbar,
Secretary of State
(Saan
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1906-04-06
PRIMARY TICKET.
Time Limit for Names oD County Bal
lots Expired Wednesday.

Time Limit for Names oD County Bal
lots Expired Wednesday.
At 5 O'Clock Wednesday evening all
who desired to seek nominations at the
coming party primaries had their
complete petitions on file with the
county clerk. Only such as have filed
petitions will be placed on the party
ballots. However, independent can
didates and those from parties hav-
ing small followings, may still enter
the race by filing petitions between
now aud the June election.
The following county petitions were
on file with the clerk at 8 O'Clock
Wednesday afternoon:
Republicans.
Recorder. W. Hendley, Fred H.
Shoemaker.
Sheriff-George w. Brown, e. J.
Sommerville.
Coroner-J. H. Parkes, Ralph
Folsom.
County commissioner-H B. Lee.
Representatives.. w. Steen, Zoeth
Houser, Charles A. Barrett.
Clerk-Frank Sailing
Treasurer-George W. Bradley,
Geo. Buzan, J. P. Walker.
Surveyor-John w. Kimbrell.
State senator-G.. w. Proebstel,
T. J. Kirk.
County judge--T. P. Gilliland.
Democratic.
Sheriff.. D. Taylor.
missioner-James Nelson.
Recorder-John r. Hill.
Treasurer-W. r. Campbell.
Coroner-T M. Henderson.
Representative-Cecil R. Wade, 7.
Lieuallen.
State Senator-O. J. Smith.
County Judge-G. A. Hartman, ST.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1906-04-06
DRY FARMING.
Campbell System Great Success with
Alfalfa in Grand ROnde.


Alfalfa in Grand Ronde.
The state board of portage commits
ioners met at Salem Wednesday
afternoon and had before it the report
of L. s. Cook, superintendent and
general manager of the portage rail
way at Cello, for the month of
March. The earnings of the road for
the month amounted to $260.87 and
the expense of operation and mainten-
ance was $851.3O. The report,
among other things, says:
The river is now at 95.8S, or about
feet above low water mark, making
considerable of a raise. Boats could
go straight through to Lewiston
without any trouble. Captain
Baug gilman stated he could take boat
from Portland, if the canal was com
pleted, say with 500 tons. through to
Lewiston and could bring down 1000
tons. The earnings on the up freight
would pay the expenses of the trip,
and if they got but 50 ton on the
down trip the boat would clear nice
amount.
Nothing further has been done in
regard to the gasoline launch meeting
the portage train daily at Big Eddy,
although | understand The Dalles
business men have purchased the
Steamer Simmons and are figuring on
sending her to the Big Eddy once
day about noon.
It has been suggested that we should
have a gasoline engine to carry
small amount of freight and passeng-
ers on account of the cheapness of
operation. 1t certainly would have
many advantageous points, and an
engine that would carry SIX or eight
people and like number of tons OF
freight could be made to make the
round trip with about 20 cents worth
of gasoline. We will be able to get
all the hauling of fish along the line,
but what that will amount to is hard
to tell, as the catch varies each year.
We would also pick up considerable
more passenger business than at pres
ent. We are operating the road but
once or twice week.
/ regret exceedingly that am
unable to make better showing of
the earnings this month, and could
have done some $50 better had had
the freight that came in on Sunday,
the first, the way bills being dated
March 80 and 81, carload of barley
and carload of hay and considera-
BILE amount Of merchandise.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1906-04-06
PROCLAMATION


Whereas, the Secretary of State OF
the State of Oregon has notified me i'll
writing that pursuant to the provls-
ions of an Act entitled can Act max
ing effective the initiative and refer
endum provisions Of Section of
Article Nv of the Constitution of the
State of Oregon, and regulating cleo
tions Hereunder, and providing pen
alties for violations of provisions of
this act" approved February gath,
1908, a committee of citizens of
Clackamas County, G. w. Kerns be-
ing the chairman thereof, duly filed
in his office on January 22d, 1906, an
initiative petition containing 7761
signatures, properly attached to a
copy of said measure, certified in
accordance with law. demanding that
proposed law, the title, tenor and
effect of which is hereinafter par
ticularly set forth, shall be submitted
to the legal voters of the State of
Oregon for their approval or rejec-
ton at the general election to be held
in said state on the 4th day of June,
being the first Monday in June, 1906.
Now, Therefore, 1, Geo. E. Cham
berlain, governor of the State of Ore
gon, in obedience to the provisions of
said act hereinbefore first mentioned,
do hereby make and issue this procla-
nation to the people of the State of
Oregon, announcing that the said
committee of citizens of Clackamas
County, Oregon, G. w. Kerns being
the chairman of said committee, has
filed said initiative petition with the
requisite number of signatures there
to attached, demanding that there
shall be submitted to the legal cleo
tors of the State of Oregon for their
approval or rejection at the regular
election to be held on the 4th day of
June, 1906, said day being the first
Monday in said month, bill to pro-
pose by initiative petition bill en-
titled "a bill to propose by initiative
petition law for the abolishment of
tolls on the Mount Hood and Barlow
Road, and providing for the purch
of the same by the State of Oregon, )"
the tenor and effect of which in brief
is to direct the Secretary of State to
purchase the Mount Hood and Barlow
Road for the Pacific Abstract, Guar
anty & Trust company, the owner
thereof, for sum not exceeding $24,-
10000, and to deliver to said COM
pany before the lst day of September,
1906, or as soon as said bill may be-
come law, warrant upon the
State Treasurer payable out Of any
moneys in the general fund of the
State of Oregon not otherwise appro
priated in favor of said corporation
for the sum of $24, 10000, upon de-
livery to the said Secretary of State of
deed conveying to the State of Ore
gon said road, together with all
rights, franchises aud privileges Of
every kind and character pertaining
thereto, and as soon as the title OF
said road is conveyed to the state all
tolls of every kind and character are
to be abolished and said road free to
the use of the public.
Done at the Capitol at Salem, this
5th day of February, A. D., 1905.
{Siguedl Geo, E. Ghamberlain,
By the Governor: Governor.
(Signedl F. l. Dunbar,
Secretary of State.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1906-04-06
PROCLAMATION.

Whereas, the Secretary of State of
the State of Oregon has notified me in
writing that pursuant to the provis-
ions of an act entitled "An Act max
ing effective the initiative and refer
eudum provisions of Section ! of
Article " of the Constitution of the
State of Oregon, and regulating elec-
tions Hereunder, and providing PEN
alties for violations of provisions of
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-05-20

orations in most cases with distinct ar
ticulation, the subjects being we'll chosen
and handled Entertaining music was fur
nished by the Rushville orchestra assisted
by Prof Ward, violinist. Prof McNoun.
principal of the Rushville schools, and
school board, presented the diplomas. The
graduates were: Marguerite Patterson,
Josie Westover, Minnie Cannon, Olive
Mann Kitty llaghan, George Dale and
William II. Brown.
TABLE ROCK-A meeting In support of
peace and arbitration was held here in the
Methodist Episcopal church Friday after
noon under the auspices OF the Woman s
Suffrage association. After scripture read
ing and a prayer the main address was
given by the pastor Of the church, Rev.
]. T. Roberts. An article by the national
chairman. Mrs. Lucia Ames Mead, was
read by Mrs. l.. c. FelleTs. Mrs. Lydia
X Andrew gave an interesting talk on
the subject quoting literally from Mrs.
Mead's published reports. A committee
was appointed to perfect plans for carry
ing out the work in this village.
OAKIIAND-At the regular meeting of
Oakland chapter No. 1853, Order of Eastern
Star. Friday night the following oficers
A. b. Peden, w. p. Mrs. Mary Miner, A.
M; Ethel Hopkins, secretary; ". L.
Fried, treasurer; Mrs. Emma Gull. con-
ductor: Mrs. Grace Simon associate con-
ductor: Pearl Swanson, Adah; Rachel Hop
kins, Ruth; Mrs. Theodore Masernann,
Esther; Esther Holmquist, Martha; Mrs.
Emma Peden, Electa; Mrs. Belle New
marshal; Frank Ringquist, organist; Mrs.
Helen Lang, warden; A. c. Holmquist, SEN
tinel At the close a Dutch" lunch was
served.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-05-20

sorts. Several other new concessions are
being negotiated for and II is expected a
contract will be closed soon The tOboggan
slide, Neptune wheel and other water toys
will be reinstated at Manhattan beach,
which will be added to with other con-
trivances TO make bathing thing of JOY.
The management will do all 1t can to
make bathing enjoyable. An instructor will
be in attendance who will teach swimming
free OF charge.
Many lovers of music will be delighted
to hear that Ernest Nordin has been en-
gagged as director. Mr.. Nordn promises an
excellent roster OF talent for his band.
He is a conscientious leader and enjoys a
well earned reputation in musical circles
and intends 10 put forth such efforts that
will merit far-reaching popularity. With
the rife court, novelty shooting galleries,
baby racks, photograph galleries, merry
go-round, see-saws, etc. Manawa will af-
ford a far greater variety Of amusements
than ever before and preparations are
being made 10 handle a greatly increased
attendance.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1906-05-20
Piles Cured
AS Easily AS a Cough; Painlessly.
Quickly and Without Cutting.


The agony and suffering in piles Is so
great that II a surgical operation was q
certain cure (Which II isn'U, and there
was no other means Of relief, some per-
sons might be willing TO take the chance
Of blood poisoning or lockjaw
But now that the Pyramid Pile Cure has
been discovered and has been proven 70 be
a quick and certain means Of relief and
lasting cure, there is no excuse for risk
ing YOUR life.
Does Pyramid Pile Cure give immediate
relief9 Does It cure? Try II and prove il
to yourself as thousands have done be-
fore you. Then go 10 your druggist and
get a 5O-cent box and complete the cure
Pyramid Pile'Cure will cure you, and do
il with certainty and a rapidity that will
astonlsh you'
Take, for example the case of Mr.. Ben
jamin Shaw, postmaster Of Bland. We
quote his own words in his letter OF Octo-
Der 81, 1895 II was In great agony Of
mind and body. In the meantime a gentle
man told me OF the virtue OF your Pyramid
remedy. / fortunately found II at dTug
store, and by the neNt morning / did not
feel that any operation was necessary, and
in three days 1 was able 10 return home.
and a complete cure was accomplished. 10
my great satisfaction and the surprise OF
the physician"
For a trial package send your name and
address TO the Pyramid Drug Co, $50 Pyra-
ma Building, Marshall. Michigan. and you
will set a trial package b. return mail. No
maria