The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-19
HUMOR OF TEE DRY

HUMOR OF TIE Day
Easy Remedy-aA LADY whose hair is
falling out writes to ask what she shall
do with It" said the snake editor Tell
her to throw it away replied the re-
ceipt editor.-Milwaukee Sentinel.
My work. remarked the bald headed
dentist, lis so painless that my patients
often fall asleep in the chair while INA
operating" Huh! that's nothing" re-
torted the rival My patients nearly all
insist on having their pictures taken
while I am at work. in order to catch the
expression of delight on their faces. -
London Tit-Bits.
Cheaply-Hello, old man, you seem to
be in a brown study. Popley-O! hello,
yes, I am. You see, my wife asked me
to stop at the market for something and
I can't think what it was. Cheaply--
Here. have a cigar. Maybe thatn help
you to think. Popley-Thanls Oh! yes,
L remember now; it was cabbage she
wanted--Philadelphi Press.
Maude-It seems to me Tom has De
come unusually sociabIe since he got
his automobile.
PhyIlis-Yes. You sec ne can get
all the credit of making a call and
yet spend most of the time getting the
machine ready to go away when the
call is over. He tells me it saves any
amount Of Improbable conversation
Boston Transcript
Dear Daughter. I place the stamp
of disapproyal on your proposed mar
riage."
cancellation by parson. Wire blessing
for two. Philadelphia Ledger.
NO" said the sweet young thing.
firmly, 81 shall never marry a man
who is my Inferior.
oh say not sol" murmured the
adorer, tenderly. In that case you
viii die single"
In was then that she began to look
upon him with eyes of favor--Indian-
apolis News.
yes. indeed" said young Mr. Stay
late, as he settled himself more COM
fortably in the easiest chair. "I was
the champion sprinter of my year at
college I could do mile in ten-an-
a-quarter fiat"
Il wonder" said the sweet young
girl, how long it would take you to
do the distance from the piano to the
front gate - Cleveland Plain Dealer
An Out-of-Door Sport.-virginia-
Does she care for out-of-door sports?
Philomena-I should say sol Her
fellow is a football player.-Judge.
Stella-How did you refuse hinn2
Bella-Beautifully I just copied
the vote Of thanks that papa got when
he was rtired from the board of di-
rectors.-New York Times.
Did you name the baby after his
No. we named him after a pro
longed scrap in which the whole family
engaged. ''-Cleveland Leader.
xsr.,,
animation paper on religious instruc-
tons at A boys SCHOOL, Holy matri-
mony is a divine institution for the
provocatiOn of mankind. Punch.
Miss n-Thump-Yo not a
music lover I'm afraid.
Mr.. oote-Innit=Indeed am
What makes you think I'm not2
Miss PIT thought you looked
bored while I was playing.
Mr.. Fell may have looked bored,
but do love music.-Cleveiand
Leader.
The Doctor-You drink too much tea.
Tea turns the stomach into leather.
The Professor-Wel there's nothing
like leather for keeping the sole of a
man above the earth--Chicago Tribune.
Cholly-No. don't like him. BY
Jovel he called me a lobster the other
day. What do you think of that?
Dolly-lE was hOrrld OF him If ne
only knew as much about politeuess as
he does about natural history he might
be charming. Leader.
In Kentucky, subj said the face
tious colonel, every child is born with
a waterproof coat
''what?'' demanded the tourist. "a
waterproof coat2"
"On his stomach. sub, on his
stomach. ''-Philadelphis Press.
My new play is sure to make a hit
said the great actress, lit gives me an
opportunity to display twenty new
gowns"
! Gracious" exclaimed her friend.
How many acts p
only four. but in one of them the
scenes alta dressmaker's philadelphia