New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-05-23
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

A writer In Temple Bar" is annoyed at the ac-
cUsaton Of decline of gallantry in his sex. He
shifts the CHARGE THE trouble Is rather wOnan's
incivility TO man. He tells how she behaves In
the London Tube"
''She hurrfes into the compartment labelled
Smoking glares find the carriage full; selects
the mildest seeming man; stands before him ION
his toes II needfuD and he rises sinks without
word smile into his place, though into an
empty seat provided by an all-seeing Providence.
Why should she thank the man? Some one else
would have got up II he had not: she never has to
stand
''she settles back into his seat. and makes elab.
crate pretence of coughing at her neighbOr's pipe
He might have offered to forgO his pipe. even in
smoking carriage had he not been witness Of the
reception given to the others gallantry.''
Room for Observation-Disclosures 60 head gar
dener who has been ilD-Pm glad to see you out
BatesaThaRkse. mum. but Lat, amt anythink IKE
pots over hinstead Of caiiin' the hunder gardener
to pick 'em up blessed If didn't start a-doin' OF
IL myselfi-Punch-
1.-THE Branson CMinn) Budget" pays this tribute
to a popular resident Of neighboring town:
"S. 7. Dakn up from Breckenridge yester-
day. and in addition TO his heavy land business and
big grip. he carries the huskest handshake extant
It begins with a rushing OF sleeves, followed by
gathering Of the phalanges. and peculiar binski
sound seems 20 kick out between the knuckies like
the heels OF a spOrtve broncho Don't look at your
hand-yOu can't It: it's bundled up In pile of
digit as carefully a new born babe Your fist
is flying up and down like the head OF a lemonade
shaker; around and around like windmill or back
and forth as though you were a slide trOmbOner,
playing a grand solo. Presently your whole body
seems to join in the greeting. Your muscles twitch
and dance until the arms and legs are working
overtime and then some. You hear the music and
chose your partner. The caller is going full blast
and a fight is going over in the corner When
you finally back TO earth It is with the pleas
ant assurance that s. T. Dakin is Of the in
habltants thereof
Jealous TOrtose.-J. G. Baker, Of Kew. tells in
neighbor had for many years a 0et torto,sSS ',,e3
Tommy. which has had the undisPuted run Of her
take charge OF another tortoise. All went we'll as
HnTiI weather thew aVgoEe from t6e,r aIssD war;" an9
as soon as Tommy found there was another tor
monopoly his wrath was reused. He attacked the
undesirable alien most savagely. biting his head
or legs whenever they were prOtruded beyond the
shell and when they were not visible charging 1t
The warmer the weather the more ieTce Tommy
became e;,, and apparently before the summer would
impossible to keep the two tortoises in the same
Where to tortoise No. 2"-Dundee advertise dvertisesr.
Senator Hoar used to tell this story OF an inci-
dent he Witnessed on a Boston streetcar IL was
about IL o'clock p. m. the mystic hour when all
law-abiding BOstonians lose their thirsts. The
Senator happened TO notice a running after
the and vainy trying attract the conductors
attention. The Senator notified the conductor
who stopped the car.
The belated passenger who was somewhat under
the influence OF liquor. had no sooner climbed
aboard than ne delivered himself OF the following
remarks:
SHAY. Mr. Conductor. does thish road run to
commodate the passengers. or the passengers run
to 'commodate the road?"
No Expense to Run.-"Theyve started a queer
no walters" So
What are they running IL OMAR OF water?"
Neither; Christian Science YOD thiDlr 40, aae.
so much think. "-BrOOlSlyn Life. ~ -
complaint was brought before an eminent
English Bishop that a clergyman In hia diocese
was wearing Oxford masters hood when al
fact. he had no such degree. Il call IT, my lord
said the complainant, wearing a lie on his hack
I'VE need not use quite 80 strong a word Az
smith, the Bishop reltied IN his blandast manner
''Cxu Il a false hood