Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1906-12-07
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"Fohgive yoh enemies" said Uncle
Eben, but dom let dat stop you FUN
havin' 'em put under bonds to keep de
peace.NWashlngton Star.
"You entertain a great deal more
than you did formerly, | notice." "Yes,
indeed. This Is the first really hospita-
BILE cook we ever had."-Life.
at takes him a painfully long time
to write letter." "Yes, he's trying to
use as many simpllfied words as possi-
ble."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
There's colored man and his wife
at the door looking for work." "But
only advertised for laundress." "Yes,
they are her."-Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Style-Mrs. Cashe has a great
deal Of embonpoint. Mrs. Parvenu-
Then If she has good deal of it,
know she got it Baltimore
American.
Wigg-A bad memory gets a fellow
Into lots Of trouble. Wagg-Yes, it's
always springing things on you that
you thought you had forgotten."-
Philadelphia Record.
Jack-I knew q man who stole
kiss from a pretty girl He paid the
penalty for larceny Katharine-Ah,
indeed! And what was the penalty?
Jack-Hard labor for life. He married
the girl.-Philadelphla Bulletin.
what is reform?" asked the argu-
mentative man. Reform answered
the world-weary one, usually consists
In merely compelling a man to stop
doing things his way and making him
do them yours" Washington Star.
"Yes, sir; I'm the publisher of this
paper. Is there anything can do for
you" Il am looking for a job as
proofreader." "We don't need proof
readers any more. We have adopted
the reformed spelling."- Chicago Trib-
une.
THE road to knowledge, nowadays"
said the first old schoolmaster, sis too
swift and too easy. It's regular rail.
road" yes" agreed the other old
pedagogue, land It's railroad with
fewer switches than are necessary
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
II suppose you want me to look as
pleasant as possible" said the custom
er. Certainly, sir" replied the pho
tographer. "And III have to ask you
for small deposit in advance"
whats that for?' "Thats so | can
look pleasant, too."- Milwaukee Sem
| tinel.
McCall-What sort of hybrid crea-
ture Is that new butler of yours? Nu-
| ritch-Why, how do you mean? Nc
Call called to see you the other day,
and when l asked him what time I
might catch you at home he said: AT
haff pawst tin, sah.' "-Philadelphia
Press.
Il wonder now," mused the dog,
what fool thing it. is that my master
wants me to do with that hoop he is
holding out before me. Maybe he
wants me to jump through it. I'll do
1t, and see. How little II
takes to make man happy !'-Chicago
Tribune.
The minister was shocked when the
young lady declined an introduction to
some of his parishioners. "Why, my
dear young lady, did you ever think
that perhaps you will have to mingle
with these good people when you get
to heavenY "Well," she exclaimed.
"that will be soon enough" Life.
"Habiliments for Infants" is a sign
In a clothing store in Boston A West
ern visitor, seeing it, stopped in amaze
ment "What does that mean?" he
asked his better acquainted fellow
Westerner. "That?" said the other.
"Oh, that is Boston dialect for kids
uds."-Youth's Companion.
"I'm glad to say" remarked Mrs.
Strongminde in an insinuating tone,
"that my husband Is not sporty man."
"Oh," replied Mrs. Kahyppe, looking
very sweet and innocent, I'm sur
prised to hear you say that. l have al
ways supposed that he must have mar
| i