The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-19
A String of Good Stories
cannot tell how the truth may be;
Fsay the tale as twas told to me-
NOT BAD

p EAR ADMIRAL LONGNECKER who recently re-
tired, was talking one day at League island navy
yard about discomfort among soldiers and sailors
g Men often discontented without reason ., he
said but oftener they have good ground for their
grumblng, and it is because their officers are stupid
or lazy that conditions do not improve.
81 remember visiting a pompous handsome
stupid army officer.
EtDurng my visit private approached the officer
with full cup and saucer in his hand.
& Well, Binks, my man?' said the officer in a
condescending tone.
t'' Captain said the private, sauting, eI,n ask
we to taste this here. I won It make mo- complaint
I'll just ask ye to taste this slop, and if ye don't
say, by z-. r
his sdgnifed way, for Binks getting very angrv
and he took the cup from the man, bent forward
stiffly, and swallowed couple of mouthfuls of the
liquid.
sThis is not bad he said. L can It taste any,
thing wrong with this, Binks By the way, what is ito
Tea cofee'''
NO TURNER'S FOR HIM
Ohm SLOAN, the artist, praisng Turner ut
y the Academy of Fine Arts exhibition in Phiadel-
Turning from eulogy the recent ''fnd'' Of
unfinished Turner's in London, Mr. Sloan told Turner
story
''There was millionaire he said tswho decided
that he would form picture gallery.
Accordingly he visited dealer and bought
large number of costly works of art.
''Towards the end of the visit, the dealer said
g By the way, if you want something unique
something really extraordinary, I have a genuine
Turner, ''The Shark and the Sailor, that I'd be
most happy to show you 7s=-e
'tBut the millionaire, all pulled up with newly
acquired art lore, frowned and shook his head
q No. he said pompously. No picture that's
painted side is good enough for me- Always
providin of course, that it's well done. - 10
THE SEA SERPENT.
T HE young Earl of Yarmouth took out his note
book and jotted down recipe for eggnogg
''Rum,'' he wrote Three noggins of Jamaica
rum
And then he paused and smiled.
81 reminded he said, of my last voyage.
''During the voyage made the acquaintance of an
old sailor, and many a chat had with him on deck,
in my deckchar, he with his eternal paint-ean and
brush painting away at smokestacks and what not
sailors do.
''We saw, morning, jet of water shoot up,
from the calm and the sailor said
g "A whale.
"And enough, moment later we saw the
whale, big fellow.
x Did you ever see sea serpent?' said l.
s'The old sailor paused in his painting.
Yes me lord, he said. Il a sea serpent
wunst We had started from Jamaica with a cargo o.
FFBut had heard enough. gf
''Get back to your painting, said.' s7%7I7
SHE BLUsHED
CPENCER EDDY-diplomat, hero of Richard Hard
- ing Davis 'Princess Aline,'' and fance of Miss
Spreckels-was praisng in Philadelphia little boy
he knew.
E'Last Easter'' said Mr. Eddy, s'they put him in
trousers his first suit of trousers, and he i'm
measurably pleased.
He walked up to young and beautiful lady who
staying at the house. s.-=
g Don't l look good?' he said.
"'Oh, fne' said the young lady LOVELY Do
you like Knockers better than frocks?' .--.f
* Lots better, he replied. why don't you take
to em9''' -..
HOW SHE WARBLED.
TARUSO, whose salary for the New York opera
" season 115OOO-the worlds record-was
condemning, at dinner party, certain affected way
of singing.
''Miss X,' he said, ''sngs like that. A lady g
maid heard her once in her mistress drawing room
"That nj ght, she brushing her MISTRESS
hair, the maid mentioned that she had listened to
Miss K from the hall.
''And what did you think of herr the mistress
asked.