Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1906-10-03
When the Editor
"Puffed"
BY DONALD ALLEN



There was just one reason Why the
Widow Bidwell refused the marrimo-
NAL offer rendered her by Editor Flint
Of the Weekly Clarion and Fergus
County Advertiser. Editor Flint had
owned and edited the Clarion for many
years. He had never married because
he had been too busy making up and
, working off his edition Of 600 copies,
getting up and printing auction bills,
writing thrilling local notices of wood
wanted on subscription and other mat
tiers connected with a weekly journal
of twenty years ago. Some Of his es-
teemed contemporaries sneeringiy re-
marked now and then that he stole his
editorials, but when 1t came down to
writing out an auction bill they yielded
him the palm.
Auction! Auction! Auctionr' read
the average bill. Take notice that on
the 14th Of September George Styles,
farmer, will sell at public vendue all
the live stock and other personal prop
erty on his farm ON the Red Bridge
road. Said stock consists of horses,
COWS, sheep and hogs and about 100
hens and geese. Sale to begin at 10
a. m, and all will go to the highest
bidder"
There was no doubt about the sue
cess Of the Clarion as a newspaper or
about the success of Editor Flint as an
editor. When he finally made up his
mind to marry the Widow Bidwell
there was no doubt that he would be a
success as n Benedict. He struck a
snag. however The widow had been
obliged to turn to dressmaking since
her husbands death, and she did not
rank with the -Four Hundred Of the
village, but she was lover of poetry
and she had dreams Of poets. While
this kept her grocery bill down, 1t In
terfered considerably with her getting
out orders ON time, and she calculated
that one about offset the other.
The poetry loving widow had had
fifty different poetic effusions pub
lished in the Clarion over the nom de
plume Of Flossie, but Mr.. Flint had
received the copy with grunt, and
the public had recovered from the
shock each time within twenty-four
hours.
The poems had been published to
save carrying dead advertising Mrs.
Bidwell was rather surprised when
the editor dropped In on her one even
ing and proceeded to say that he want
ed her for the mistress of his house,
but she soon rallied and answered that
there was an insurmOuntable barrier
between them. He didn't look like
poet. She knew what he could do in
the way of an auction bill, but the
man who wed Flossie must look the
part. She would attend to the poetry
as heretofore, but he must at least
have long hair, an aesthetic face and
dreamy eyes.
The editor saw at once that he
couldn't fill the bill. He wore his hair
short, had a fat face, and his eyes
were on the lookout for delinquent
subscribers instead Of looking into the
far away. He therefore picked up his
hat and walked back to the office.
However, the iron had entered Mr..
Flints soul. He had laid his forty
year-old heart at woman's feet, and
she had spurned it He either wanted
to commit suicide or secure revenge,
and after figuring up that the Clarion
plant was worth about $4,000 he decid-
ed to hang on to earth. The first In
stallment of his revenge was shown In
his next issue, when he said:
I'VE take pleasure in informing our
readers that a brother of the Widow
Bidwel, who writes beautiful verse