Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1906-01-18
BINGS' BARGAIN.

"What dat, Bings?" cooed the dim
pied cherub, patting the bald spot
that spread like a small shining desert
in an oasis of thick blonde hair on
Bings' well-shaped head.
Whitlock grinned.
"Mamma's pet mustn't be naughty,
said the pretty widow, turning her
brown eyes apologetically on Bings.
Come to mamma, dearie. Mr.. Blngs
isn't used to babies.
But the dimpled cherub, otherwise
Baby Moffatt, who had purposely and
after many backslidings climbed up
the rustic seat occupied by Bings, for
whom she had evinced a decided par.
tiality from the start, only snuggled
the closer to the secretly delighted
Bings and cooed, BABY owe BiDgs."
Then as happy afterthought, MAN
ma owe Bings." At which frank and
wholly unexpected revelation of her
small daughter the pretty widow g face
rivaled Bings'.
Whitlock gufawed. "Now's your
chance. Bings," he urged, with ma
licious levity at his rivals discomft-
ure. But Bings, with hssty adieu,
fed, leaving the cherub disconsolate.
Bings metaphorically kicked him.
self all the way home for not taking
advantage of he best opportunity he
had ever had, even if it was before
the sneering Whitlock, and foI his
cowardly desertion of the pretty wild
ow to Whitlock's caustic raillery.
Bings paused at his own gate and
gazed miserably at the big silent house.
He shut his eyes moment and imag-
ined he saw the pretty widow and the
cherub sitting on the front porch. 1t
was a blissful vision, but Bings felt
that it would never become blissful
reality unless miracle happened.
Bings was a bachelor. Bings was
big, and blonde and bald. Bipg, was
bsshful. In fact, Bings was whole
swarm of obs" He narrowly escaped
being beauty, with his baby COM
plexion and innocent blue eyes. His
size was the only thing that saved him
from the terrible fate. Moreover,
Bings was bargain fend. No wo.
man could scent bargain sale farther
off than could Billy Bings. Incident
ally Billy" was the climax to Bings'
woes. But no persuasion on his part
could convince his friends of tbs ab-
surdity of calling a six-footer "Billy."
Bings bachelorhood was condition
of neither birth nor achievement-it
was thrust upon him. During his ev-
olution into that state there had been
INV one of dozen maids and widows
that Bings would have been only too
happy to have endowed with half his
worldly goods but for his excessive
bashfulness. Never yet had he been
able to screw his courage up to the
point of proposal, though he had
made almost superhuman efforts in
that direction.
This seemed a pity, for Bings was
undsniably cut out for benedict. He
thought all women angels and all ba-
bies cherubs.
AS he started uptown on the mo-
mentous morning after his precipitate
flight Bings had particular cherub
in mind-a pretty, brown-eyed, DIM
pied cherub that he would have given
half be was worth to possess, and the
other halt to possess the cherub's pref
ty, brown-eyed mother. But SO far
every glance from Mrs. Jessie MOfatt's
roguish eyes had produced the un-
fortunate effect of instantaneous par
alysis of poor Bings' tongue, SO that
he could only stand dumb or blush
and stammer like any silly schoolboy.
TOis was not the first time, by any
means, that Bings had performed that
metaphorical feat. 1t had been al
least semi-weekly occurrence for sew
eral months past. Each time Bingi
vowed that the next time he would
not act the fool. But he did. b,
had reached the point where the in
evitable mental feat was copiouslJ
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