davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-03-01
A Poser.

1t was at an English election meet
ing, and an excited man shouted to the
candidate:
Don't beat about the bush; answer
my question Yes or Nor"
The candidate replied, But, my deaA
sir, there are some questions which
cannot be answered Yes or No."
The interrupter replied rudely with
the single exclamation "Boshv'
very WELL" replied the speaker, 81
will prove what say. Now, sir, the
question / will put to you is this: Have
you left off beating your wifeY New
York Times
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-03-01
Easy,

The professor Of mathematics expe-
rienced quite little difficulty in max
ing one Of his class comprehend the
theory Of limits. To make the theoremi
more Ineligible he resorted to the fol-
lowing Illustration:
"Now, Mr.. G." he proposed, suppose
you were 100 feet from a rabbit and
you gave him chase, and in the first
minute you gained one-half of the In
tervening distance and likewise In the
next and in each succeeding minute; at
last, If you were four inches from the
rabbit, would you ever catch him? Re-
member, you gain one-half of the inter-
vening distance each minute
"1f was four inches from the rab-.
bit" replied the student, 81 would
reach out and grab Philadelphia
Ledger.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-03-01

II believed her and, biddin' her good
night, went outen the house the same
way come in. The next day 1 learn.
ed from the Teller as put me on to the
m1ser business that in layin' down the
number he intended to make 1t 10. but
his bloomin' figures was SO bad that /
TUX his 1 for a Z.
Il couldn't git the soft voice of the
child outen my ears somehow, nor the
pale, sufferin' face of it's mother as she
stood there at the head O. the stairs
nghted by my lantern. I'd had a big
streak o. luck lately, and it was about
time got run in ag'in. 1t wasn't long
before the cops had me cornered, and |
knew 1T was matter of a few DAYS
before they'd git me- Course when
they got me it meant at least another
ten years time. What 'ud I do with
the plumber 1 had on hand? There was
two ways come up to me how to use it.
one was to lessen my time by givin' it
up to the owners, the other to hand it
over to the woman with the child.
WAL, I made up my mind to give 1t
to her. l turned it all into cash. /
knowed If l left it with her without a
deceivin' story as to her comm by it
honestly she'd try and find the owner.
l went to her house the night before I
was TUX, lifted the kitchen h'arth and
put the swag under In the mornin' /
posted letter to her tellin' her that
onct miser lived in that house and
had left heap o. stuff under the
kitchen h'arth. He was dead long ago
and hadn't got no relations.
II hadn't more'n got the letter posted
before cop put his hand on my shoul-
der"
The narrator paused to relight his
pipe, that had gone out.
'"They offered to knock five years
off'n my time" he resumed, "if I'd tell
where to find the stuff, but it wouldn't
done me no good anyway. Twenty
years was same as fifteen to me. Be
sides, broke Jail in three"
Did the woman find the swag?"
aspect she did. l met her on the
street one day with boy about seven
years old. She was we'll dressed, and
SO was the kid. l followed her home
to nice little house, and when the
door shut on 'em felt kind o. lonely.
A man at corner grocery said there
was story that she'd come into a
little money. She'd been bang up
lady onct, but her husband had died
busted. After that hung around the
door to see 'em ag'tn, but a cop or
dered me of" r. A. MITCHELL
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-03-01
The Realist.

"sketchem is a wonderful artist isn't
he?"
Whats he done now?"
'In a magazine story he illustrated
this line: For an hour she sat silent
and motionless, waiting The picture
is SO realistic that If you watch it for
half an hour it neither speaks nor
moves. Wonderful, simply wonder
ful!'-Kansas City Times.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-03-01
A Burglar $ Story
[Original.l

[Original.]
Ever done anything good, pard?n
Dunno" removing cuddy pipe. ri
onct beat the state for another per-
SON."
How did v do it?"
Got tip that an old miser livin' at
20 street had a fine lot o. swag in
his chimbley. Them miser buffers is
jist the kind likes to handle, seem
their money don't do 'em nor nobody
else no good, ms better in circulation.
l goes to 70 N finds it a trap. l only
had to shake the back door to open
up, n went into the kitchen. There
wasn't nothin' there but an old cook
hangin' on the wall. If 1t hadn't been
miser's place, I'd "a went away. !
drops my boots, N with my lantern in
my left hand N my gun in my right
them misers III die for their money
mounted the stairs, what didn't have
no carpet on to 'em. l got halfway up,
when l heered the softest leetle voice
say:
Mamma
"Y' didn't never hear child call to
its mother in the middle Of the night,
did y? WAL, it's jist like voice com.
in outen the blessed regions the min.
lister used to talk about when I was a
boy.
I want drink O. water the little
thing said. heered the mother git up.
s'pected them kind O. people didn't
have no water upstairs n that she'd
come right down. But she didn't. She
went to the winder, l 'spect, N must
a got some water, for the next I
heered was child drinkin' with the
noise they makes-sort O. gulpin' it
DOWN. the mother said:
There, go to sleep, sweetheart
And instead O sayin' it like one O lis
she said it like a lady. / knowed she
was lady, got run down.
"There wasn't much to this, but it
happened in the middle O. the night,
and, you know, at that time things is
impressin, specially a revolver muz-
zle at a feller's ear, and | couldn't git
the little un's soft voice outen my
mind nor the mothers, neither Any
way, somep'n ratified me- for stepped
back, then up, not knowin' which way
to go, and the stairs creaked.
Mamma said the little voice, did
you hear that noise?
"'NO, darln', Go to sleep. there was
| no noise
is it burglar?'
No, of course not
What is burglarY
: man who takes things from other
people. Now go to Sleep
"But the child insisted on it's mother
goin' to see what the noise was about,
so she got up and stood a moment at
the head O. the stairs. The little un
must "a ratified me terrible, cause In
putin my lantern under my coat let
out ray o. light. The woman saw
1T. In the coolest way in the world she
said:
"'You are welcome to anything you
can find here. Heaven knows If there
were anything in the house that could
pawn for breakfast for my little one
would pawn it,
| Madam | said, bringin' out the
light, do you and your child live here
aloneY
| "'Yes.'
No old manY
".No.,
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-03-01
Notice.

The regular March meeting of the
Audubon County Agricultural Society
will be held March 7th, 1906, at
Hoover's Hardware Store.
All members are expected to be
present; also anyone interested in
same, is cordially invited to attend.
G. w. HOOVER.
President.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-03-01

smile advanced to the window prompt
ly and stuck forth his head.
We'll, John, what is it2' said he.
'The boy from group of youngsters
called up, Papa, Jimmie Smith did
not believe that you had no hair on
the top Of your head! Baltimore Sun.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-03-01
Notice of Amendment to the Articles
OF Incorporation of The Farmers
Lumber Company, of Bray

TON, iowa.
To WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
Be it known that at special meeting of
the stockholders of the Farmers Lumber
Company, of Brayton, Iowa, held on the goth
day of January, 1906, the following amend
mont to the Articles of Incorporation of said
company was made and adopted as follows
The 1,5 Of said company, was changed
THE Brayton Lumber Company"
Cosson & Ross, attorneys.
nj NIELs P. HoEGH, Pres.
o. F. Ide, Secretary.
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29
PASSING OF A PIONEER.
Deaths summons Answered by Daniel
Williams of Santn Cruz.

SANTA CRUZ. June 2S.-Daniel Will
liams, one of the pioneer residents of
this city, died at an early hour
this morning. He was native of Ire
land and 66 years of age. For years
he was captain of the Emmet Guards,
a military organization. He leaves a
widow and four sons.
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29

So-called wandering pains" may
come from its early stages, or the
presence of danger may be made mani
fest by profuse monthly periods. accom-
panied by unusual pain, from the
abdomen through the groin and thighs
If you have mysterious pains, if there
are indications of Inflammation or dis
placement, secure bottle of Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound right
away and begin its use.
Mrs. Pinkham. of Lynn, Mass, will
give you her advice If you will write
her about yourself. She is the daugh-
ter-in-law of Lydia E. Pinkham and
for twenty five years has been advising
sick women free of charge.
Dear Mrs. Pinkbam:-
'' take the liberty to congratulate you on
the success have had with your wonderful
medicine. Eighteen months ago my periods
stopped. Shortly after / felt So badly that
I submitted to thorough examination by q
physician and was told that had tumor
and would have to undergo an operation.
= Soon after read one Of your advertise
ments and decided to give Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound trial. After
taking five bottles as directed the tunor Is
entirely gone. / have been examined by q
physician and he says have no signs of a
ttrmor now. 1t has also brought my periods
around once more, aud am entirely
well. ll.n-Fannie d. Fox, Chestnut Street.
Bradford. Pa.
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29
MANUAL TRAINING
SCHOOLS ARE To Be
OPENED UP AGAIN
Board Of Education Grants
Leaves. Of Absence to
Teachers.

The directors of the Board of Educa-
tion at their meeting yesterday de-
cided to reopen ali of the manual
training schools that have been LETT
intact and to appoint the teachers in
order of their seniority. The follow
ing teachers were granted leaves Of
absence: Miss Rachel Meyer from Au
gust, 1906. to the opening of the fall
term of 1907; Miss Georgiana G. Haw-
kins from July. %. 1905. to the begin
ming of the fall term OF 1907: Miss
Alice N. Martin from July % to open
Ing of the fall term of 1907.
The reconstruction fund of the pub
lie schools is growing rapidly. One
of the largest of the contributions
which Superintendent Rohcovieri has
yet received for the benefit of the
school reconstruction fund came yes
terday from Superintendent +. 3. Dyer
of Cincinnati. 1t was for $117445.
Cincinnati thus ranges herself by the
side of indianapolis. Milwaukee and
Detroit as the largest givers to the
school relief fund to date. The wo-
mems clubs. particularly the Native
Daughters and the Order of the East
ern Star. are showing great interest
in the reconstruction cause. Call
istoga Parlor of the Native Daughters
has sent $500, Silver Star Chapter of
the Eastern Star, Vallejo. Cal. IS, and
Sisson Chapter. Sisson. Cal. $6.
Word has been received that the
Denver school children are raising
money for the benefit of the San Fran
cisco rebuilding fund. State Superin-
tendent Catherine L. Craig will join
with tae superintendents of other
States in naming a San Francisco day
in the fall when collections can be
taken among the school children Of her
State. Further sums added to the fund
this morning were: Madison, ILL.,,
s1220; Wilmette. ILL.,, from a few
teachers" $40; Menominee. Mich. $50.
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29
DIR. ALEXANDER
IS SUMMONED
TO THE BEYOND

SAN ANSELs.o, June 2s.-Rev. Will
liam Alexander, d. D., LID, professor
of church history in the Presbyterian
Seminary, died at his home
here today DR. Alexander will be sore
ly missed by a very wide circle of
friends and acquaintances. The world
of scholars will miss him, for he was a
scholar of most unusual breadth of
culture. The Presbyterian church loses
one of it's recognized leaders and most
honored servants.
DIR. Alexander was the founder and
president of the City College, which
San Franciscans of former days re-
member we'll He was also member
of the original faculty of the San Fran
cisco Theological Seminary. He was
born in Pennsylvania in 1881. He grad
uated from Jefferson College in 1853
and from Princeton Theological Semi
nary in 1851. During his last year in
the Princeton Theological Seminary he
became quite popular as a platform
speaker Before coming to San Fran
cisco in 1871 to become president of the
City College DR.. Alexander was pastor
of the First Presbyterian Church of
San Jose,
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29
NATURALIZATION PAPERS
WILL BE INVESTIGATED

NEW YORK, June 2S.-An investiga-
tion is now beng made into naturaliza-
tion of all naturalized members of the
New York police force. Any whose pa
pers are fraudulent will not only be
dismissed, it is understood but will be
prosecuted by the United States au-
thorities.
The investigation is expected to re-
suit in a sensational shake-up in the
Police Department, as the naturalized
men on the force constitute So per cent
of it. Some frauds already have been
discovered.
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29
ADOLPH WEBER
WANTS 4 PRIEST
Requests a Visit From
Rev. Father Verekcr
of Auburn.
Attorneys Are Still Max
ing Efforts to Save
Matricide.
SPECIAL DISPATCH TO THE CALL.

AUBURN, June 2S.-Adolph Weber
has asked to see a priest of the
Catholic church. He has received a
letter from Rev. Mr.. Burgess of Oak
land and a telegram from Rev. Mr..
Glover of Los Angeles, but he wants
further Instructions so he says, and
has asked the officers if Father Vere-
ker of this place could be induced to
call and see him,
Notwithstanding his statements that
he has no attorney and did not wish
any attorneys, Lawyers Tuttle and
Pullen have been to see him, and Tuttle
is known to be in San Francisco now
on matters connected with the estate.
1t is rumored that an effort has also
been. made to have some new man
given a power of attorney to act for
Weber on account Of the illness of
John Adams. his faithful guardian.
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29

ard; Otto d. Mohr, Main and Howard /;
August Straub, Chenery and Diamond
John G. Rithmoeller, 731 Brannan:
Charles F. Beckmann, 68 Ninth: Ci-
nolla & Laveronf. Montgomery avenue
and Bay; Raymond vasquez, 1891 Du-
pont; Schinmer & Schumann. 400 San
some: Mum & Fishter, 8 Powell; Claus
c. III Freidricks. 3l0 Moutgomery:
Charles Peters, Eighth and Brannarl,
julius Olsen, III Perry; John Wack,
Fourth and Brannan; Jacob f. Mohr'
Fourth and Berry; Cornelius Rodden,
T15 Natoma; o. G. Carlson, 142 Berry:
Michael Shea, 3S Seventh: Timothy Da :
ley. 1868 Kentucky Fred A. Collins.
Eighteenth and Kentucky; Richard +.
Wilson, Eighteenth and Kentucky. r.
Fl. Koester, 625 Seventh; Con Mccarthy
1919 Folsom; steamer Bay City
steamer Berkeley; steamer Oakland
steamer Newark; steamer Piedmont; 81
Biagano. Taylor and Bay; Julia Quig-
ley, S07 N street; Herman G. Schault
Jones and Turk
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29

At the last meeting of the Insulators'
Union the following officers were elect
ed: President. l. M. Tifer; vice presi-
dent, George Hennig; recording secre-
tary, c. z. Williams; financial secre-
tary and treasurer. George Stroh; SER
geant at arms P. B. Daily; trustees, W.
A. Finnigan, F. Watson and j. Dunno;
delegates to the Building Trades Coun-
ell, J. Gastrock. w. A. Finnigan and
George Hennig.
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29

Members of the Laborers Protec-
tive Union can get the July quarterly
working card at $40 Golden Gate ave-
nue. Every member should attend
to this matter promptly
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29

The District Council of Carpenters
met Wednesday night at $40 Golden
Gate avenue No union carpenter will
bet allowed to work on Saturday aft
ernoons after July z. The alf-holiday
will be rigidly adhered to. There is a
constitutional provision preventing
union carpenters working on the
Fourth of July The returns from the
picnic were the largest in the history
of the council
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29
Hotel Man Passes Away.

George H. Arnold. for several years
chief clerk of the Grand Hotel died
early yesterday morning after linger-
ing illness. He had lived on this coast
for many years and was well known
In the hotel business. as he had served
in different capacities in the Palace,
Baldwin and Occidental hotels of this
city and also at Castle Crags. Coro-
nado and Del Monte He leaves a wife
and three children-Mrs. r. G. Bruch-
mann, Mrs. M. E. Runwell and Forrest
Arnold.
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29
Yosemite Never so Beautiful.

Old timers say Judging from the amount of
In the Sierras, july august and September
win be splendid months in which to visit the
Yosemite Valley Owing to the late storms the
has been very backward, but now the
weather is clear and the roads are in excellent
condition. The melting snow is flling the many
reservoirs apd waterways. so that the Falls are
maryeously beautiful Returning visitors sneak
In glowing terms Of the beauties Of the VALLEY
the grandeur Of the forests, and of the very
satisfying accommodations afforded by the new
route. namely, the Santa Fe Railway to Mer-
ced, the new railroad thence to Merced Falls
and the Yosemite Transportation Company's ex-
cellent stage line from there to the Valley
The rate for the round trip Is only $2s. 60 The
hotel and camps making low rates Write
to or call upon the Santa Fe ticket agent Ferry
Building, San Francisco, for one OF the new
folders telling all about 1t.
The San Francisco call., 1906-06-29
Sannorr. VAN a Co.

Are now Mission street, between Fourth and
Fifth, with complete line of Stationery Filing
Cabinets. Architects Supplies. Artists Materials
Mirrors. Picture Frames and Mouidings Bust
ness going on AZ IL nothing had happened
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-07-01
THE WORLDS BANKER.
How French Thrift 10 Making Itself Felt
In the Money Market.

From the Rsyiev OF Repiews.
France is now playing the role OF the
worlds banker: England lost her claim to the
title when she went to war In South Africa. y
A generation ago one had to 60 to London
70 feel the pulse Of the International money
market. To-day one makes a better dag
nosis in Paris.
The strides toward financial supremacy
which France ls making have been most
rapid in the past fye years. In that time
French investors have taken UP many mil
Hard francs OF foreign obligations. . They
furnished Great Britain with much OF the
capital that went to finance the Boer war;
they loaned enormous amounts to Russia.
practically supplying the money needed in the
struggle against Japan; they provided Ger
many with 1000. 900, 900 marks in le04-o5 to
carry on her tremendous Industrial enterprises;
they took a liberal amount of the last Japa-
nese loan, more than half Of the Russian loan
OF last April, and. finally, they supplied bor-
rowers in the United States with fully $780,
O00. 900 during the tight money period Of last
winter and are now financing the bond and
note Issues of some Of our greatest corpora
-tions,
world alshG i ns snf sn ssSe, o $StS 'G shese e o. sa ses
Z, " S sslysi's o sssi ,S slsRits Il Z al j p s:IfSa 1: 81
uu 6Sre, In q condition Of drought, but then
Il q great reservoir Of free capital In
france which is being tapped by the other
thirsty nations, and which. IN spite Of the
s sfsH lar rest Eosrdsr, Of e1qid next TO the Unified
States Treasury. has 10 Its vaults to-day
nearly 5000. 100000 Of the precious metal;
two Years ago II had Sass. 100000, And In 1900,
when Paris began slowly, to forge ahead Of
London as the centre OF largest money sup
ply, the institution held only s37s ,00o; 900:
'Gov has Fra nee. A nation industrlally infe-
much below that Of Great Britain, gained such
a power In world finance? The answer. is,
through her domestic economy: For fru-
gality, thrift. intense application. 70 the. work
In hand and the very. commendable ambition
To- from life's laSors enough, 70 make
| bSeht the Inevitable raiay day and to cheer
ssve as Is an ne iniherifed desire The poorest
! peasant In the least productive parish Of the
republic manages to put aside q little each
year for o competency. ana the dshermen
down on the Brittany coast. would have
starved a few winters ago. when the catch
was. almost nothing, had they not been Able
to draw irom the ssyinss Of more fruitful
feeeHer, innEsepers. scanqiy paid Govern
ment employees are investors. and their
combined savings have provided the funds
to. finance many a nation and carry 1t through
The population o. France isabout q, ooo; GOO
people; the wealth Of France is nearly tt5, c00,
10000. This wealth IL evenly distri6ut ed
7 WAS sGh7S7, and of these one-half. were Tor
| values ranging from less than ! 1000 to q
little under tioo.oo Only three we're over
$40. 000, 900,
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-07-01
Keen sight Of Birds OF Prey.

From the chicago 1Ttohne.
The sharp-eyed hawk can spy a lark upon
q spiece OF earth almost exactly the same
cninr at twenty times the distance 1t e per-
oeptible to man or dog. A Rite soaring out
of. human sight can still distin suish and
bounce upon lizards and field mice upon the
ground. and the distance at which vultures
and eagles can sight their prey is almost in
credible.
Recent discoveries have inclined naturalists
acute sense OF smell. or OF hearing, that has
Hitherto been accredited I.sd,t then n, ,b Their sot fsen
snSd tbey appear to be guided by sight alone,
AZ tbey never snifY at anything, but dart
straight at the object Of their desire ,,,,...
ANAL and see. but are more guided by smell
than sight, In both sharks and rays the
eyes are good and have q distinct 9,pression.
short distance and swim up 70 i With Greatest
rapidity, smell may be called their real eye.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-07-01
A yiscount,s Wager.
From The London Globe.

From the London Tlobe.
A marvellous story is being told In Paris
OF a peer painters pilgrimage.
Ten years ago. according to the story.
yiscount jacques dc Gruart laid a wnKer Of
si2. 600 with some companions that he would
make the tour Of the world or foot. accom-
panied by his fancee, whom he was to marry
on the day Of his departure. husband and
Wife snbsisting exclusively the whole time on
the yisconntss earnings "a an amateur painter.
There was no stipulation as to time.
The pair have Just reached Paris on their
UNDERTAKING and winning their bet. They
have traversed Eucope. America. Africa and
Australia, living on nothing but the meagre
nrodts OF the Viscount's brush.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-07-01
From the Phiiadeiphfa Record.

= From The PhNddeTpH1d RECORD.
Peanut lovers have noticed that the nuts
are generally very much larger this year than
usual, q fact which may be verified by the
most casua! glance at any stand where they
are sold. They are also aid to be much bet =
ter In flavor, though there are some connois-
seurs who declare that the small nut Is the
sweeter.
The increased size OF the peanuts now in
the market says q wholesale dealer. lis
due more to improved methods Of cultivation.
7 think. than to the accident Of favorable
weather conditions, though the current or op
ia unusually large in quantity, As 70 the
relative merits OF the large and small nut.
I cannot speak, being q seller and not an eater.
Of them. do know, however, that with
these big fat looking fellows on sale there IL
practicaly no market for che little ones
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-07-01
searcnnKht Scared Footpads.

Muncie correspondence Ind'ondi'ots Ners.
To a searchligh used by a local advertis-
ing electrical Arm Charles Douglas. an oil
worker, ascribes his escape from two high
Tn searchlteht, on the top Of q high build
ing, sweeps every part OF the city. While
Douglas, alone. was In the southern, part of
men. who ordered him to shell ont. Dou Rlas
started 10 comply, when suddenly the beams
of the searchlight fell full upon the faces
heels. Douglas also ran and made good his
eacape,