davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14
WHAT DISTRESSED HIM.

From the Magazine of Fun.
 A certain bachelor bishop, very fastidi- ous about his toilet, was especially fond of his bath and exacted extreme care of his tub.
 Once, when about to leave town, he gave strict orders to the house-maid about the care of his ''bawth," and said that no one was to be allowed. the use of it.
 The temptation grew on her, and the girl took a plunge. The bishop returned unexpectedly. and, finding traces of the recent stolen bath, questioned the maid so closely that she had to confess that she was the culprit. Eyeing her sternly. he said:
 Mary, your using my tub is bad enough. but what distresses me most is that you would be willing to do anything behind my back that you would not do before my face.v f9.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14
AMERICANS FIRST.
From the Chattanooga Times.

From the Chattanooga Times
 There is an old story of a Kentuckian in Clay's time, on his travels talking very severely about Clay to a man who listened quietly and finally agreed with him. Whereupon the dsgusted corncrack- CT exclaimed: Look here, mister, we Kentuckians abuse Henry Clay when we want to. but blamed if we're going to let anybody else do It." This is some thing the case with Americans criticising Roosevelt. Should foreigner speak slight ingly of that red-blooded and strenuous typical American. he would be likely to be called down by many men who had voted for Bryan and Parker. After all, the country is great deal bigger than any party. We are Americans first. demo- crats or republicans next.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14
PUZZLED THE GRANDFATHER.

Washington Special to Philadelphia North
 American.
 "Can you name,' said Underwood, "a place in the world where steel rails are produced at less cost than in Pittsburg?" 'I think not" said Dalzell.
 "Then can you name place in the world where pig Iron is produced as cheaply as 1t is In Pittsburg?" said Un- derwood.
 "I think not" said Dalzell
 Then persisted Underwood. why should the country put protective tariff upon either steel rails or pig iron?'
 T will come to that later in my speech" said Dalzell.
 But he never did come to 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14
A vioIte In the youth of priny nature
 Hamlet.
Birminqham's Vital Statistics.

City Health Officer Hardness says that reports of births as well as of deaths and marriages should not be wanting in this city, and he is wholly right in his contention. He has caused twelve physicians in this city to be ar rested because they neglected to file on or before the 9th day of the month list of the births they had respect lively attended in the previous month. The law calls for report of that na- ture from every practicing physician In this city, and it is a useful and req sonable equirement-one that every thoughtful physician will appreciate if he will give it due consideration.
 But whether he gives the law appre- citation or the reverse, he must obey 1t. Dr. Hardness, the city health officer, will see that he does. The value of the city's vital statistics turns upon it's birth rate, and its birth rate can not be determined unless all practicing physi- clans conform to the law touching the births attended during each month. This matter cuts deep. The relation of births and deaths determines the healthfulness of the water supply, of the drainage system, of sanitation In general, of the housing of the popula- tion, of each and all of the problems that relate to the questions of life and death
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14
COMPLIMENTS.

1OAuf I1dISAN l O. Oh. life is such a queer old game, We never know Just how To take the praise of others-when To make our little bow. If people pat you on the back The chances are they have - Some motive in the background for Applying verbal salve. If they remark upon your worth, Declaring you a "brick," It isn't long before they need Your help to turn trick Therefore. discount the eulogy That falls from ready lips Adown the chute of fiattery The wisest mortal slips. Just learn to keep your equipoise- The sycophant to fear. The only sort of praise worth while Is what you never hear. The European concert has become an anvil chorus. Packingtown is to blame. twill it be Bryan?" asks a contempo- rary. Can't say for sure, but 1t ieeks that way, pardner. Colonel Bryan certainly took along a rabbits foot when he started on his world tour.
 An Indiana woman had brass pin taken from her appendix Just like a woman to carry thing like that around in her appendix!
 THE GRADUATES.
 I. The college youth embraces pa And grabbing up a hoe, He works-upon tennis court Until the sun is low. The college girl doth give her ma A loving little nudge And rushes to the kitchen where She cooks-a plate of fudge. It is related that the Swiss are turn ing up their noses at our canned meats
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14
To Build New School Houses.

Phenix City, June 3.-(SpeciaD D.-Phenix City and it's neighbor. Girard, are soon to have handsome slOOOO school houses. The Phenix school board has just selected the site for the new building In this city. It will be near the high bridge in the Young survey. a much more convenient location than the old school lot. The building will be two stories, of brick. In Girard an election will be held soon to pass on the question of issuing $looN of school bonds, and the election will no doubt, result in bonds carrying
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
 MATTERS OF THE TIMES.

. N dear old Louisville one hears, Re gardsr' Health and Plentyl" Hap
 py Days.p lover the Riverls Here's Howl" Love and Affectionr' It is enough to warm the cookies of the heart and make the most temperate man take 'an- other" This is great week for Ken tuckians and Kentucky. Colonel Waiter son is there, the mint julep is there and happiness walks the street in an hundred guises. No other state could have 'Home Coming" week just like Kentucky's There is something in the air and some thing in the stuff Kentuckians drink that Is found nowhere else. The good time Kentuckians are having makes natives of less favored states almost wish that they, too, had been sons and daughters of the Blue Grass state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press
 Good intentions never seem to learn to walk without help
 The danger of study is it might spoil a good college athlete
 If costs a lot of money in drinks and cigars to think you are popular
 A girl would have to have curly hair not to mind looking thinner than she Is.
 Saving money is very profitable for the people who set you to inveSt It with them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

From the Washington Post.
 Colonel Watterson, having grabbed the front seat on the Bryan band wagon, Grover Cleveland will continue to give the country an imitation of corpulent person making himself comfortable on a narrow railfence
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Nick and Alice are now hobnobbing with sovereigns across the sea, but Nick may overdo the business to d point where the sovereigns on this side of the sea would neglect him in No yember.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

MT. Coburn preferred to be farmer rather than Senator. Our new Gin cinnatus has an increasing number of colleagues who decline ito sub" under Aldrich
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Bryan smiles." say a headline. If you had sweated for prize and han kered after it for years and at last you saw it coming your way, you would smile. too.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Twenty-six murders in May in Jeffer- son county is enough to satisfy the most bloodthirsty. One every working day is the pace May set.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Temporary inspection by the Chi eagoese will not suffice. The country demands permanent Beveridge inspec- tions of it's meat supply
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

The shameful delays in criminal cases in American courts have an ex- cellent illustration in the Patrick case.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Chancellor Days attacks of Arch bolditis are becoming chronic, and he should be sent to an asylum for the feeble-minded.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

The newspapers of the country are congratulating New York on the fact that Tom Platt, like Chauncey bepew, has left Washington
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Now that PaclIingtown has been shown up, an expert rises to say that half the deaths are due to bad food.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

A Solomonesque legal decision in Los Angeles separated wife from a tuberculosis husband who had con cealed his disease at marriage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Chancellor Day very naturally turns to the United States Senate for. relief It Is an Archbold body, sure enough, check book and all
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Declination of senatorships is new short cut to fame,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

The English-speaking world honors this week Ellen Terry, the idol of the English-speaking stage, and the glory of womanhood.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

oul they can turn them up any higher than we do ours.
 After all, it might be better if the law permitted sidearms for umpires Seems hard matter for vesuvius to stop smoking.
 King Sisawath of Cambodia is a guest of France. King Sis. has to take map around to show people where he lives
 ADVICE. Try food, air and common sense." IT you would 'seape the great expense Of having doctors wait on you And send in bills when they are due Try food, air and common sense'- The cry is powerful, intense. lts shouted by a million cranks !. Who labor hard and get no thanks For what they do for other men Except notice now and then From yellow journals which insist That ailing folk should not resist. Expert opinions baffle us. The savants make an awful fuss And tell us what we ought to do If we would make our troubles few They preach 1t in the crowded street And argue where the masses meet. All worried more than people think Lest mortal man be on the blink. Try food, air and common sense"- In present, past and future tense, And yet you'll get along with ease If you but try the last of these. It Is remarkable what large pinchers ars required to hold a small piece of Ice. vassar threw 1O3 young men into the matrimonial market this year. With some people 1t is opportunity, with others just plain "hunch.' An artful advertiser claims that women can wear shoes one size smaller after using his foot powder.
 Dame Fashion says that children must be dressed with the utmost simplicity this year, thus permitting more frills for their mothers. POETS TROUBLES. How sweet the balmy air of Junel
 How well the bard would like to sing, But listen while he tells you why
 He tries and can not do a thing. "Oh pleasant lanes and flower fields,"
 He starts, and then he hears, "Of course we lost. That umpire ought
 To get a hundred years" Again he takes his fallen Tyre
 His heart aglow with hope, But when he gets tender theme
 Some one cries, "'Rotten dope!' In vain the singer strives to sing
 And court the errant muse. Sweet fantasy and mystic lore
 With baseball will not fuse
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Chairman Wadsworth simply wants an inspectless inspection. He and Chancellor Day are pulling together.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Disarmament would be cruel to Miss Krupp just as she Is about to marry and needs the money.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

The democrats of Pennsylvania are about to name Pennypackers sue cessor
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

It is lucky that the expense account is not charged altogether to Congress- man Longworth's salary.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

The wife of an Ohio postmaster used stamps to pay her bills and got her spouse into trouble.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Eggs are, if reasonably fresh. still above suspicion. This is more than can be said of other meats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Congress is delaying and dickering over its free passes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

How big check does Day want from the Standard Oil, anyway?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

That was quite d circus when the Longworths were entertained by Am bassador Reid.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

The sweet girl graduate is settling the problem of life rapidly and dog matically.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Emperor Francis Joseph claims that he is overworked. That is a common plea in the summer time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Cincinnati has a proper appreciation of water for the first time in it's his tory
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Premier Goremykin has the insecur- est job in politics.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

King Haakon Is taking a few days off to attend the coronation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Gotham is quite a lively place when a society wedding Is afoot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Zomborys apology saved him a blis- ter on his trigger finser at any rate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

England honored Ellen Terry, whil, the world looked on with approval.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Umpire Buckley has more troubles than most anybody else.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

It should be the Beveridge bill or nothing, MT. Wadsworth.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

If you want to get married in Juns you will have to hurry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

John D. Rockefeller is a cheerful chap in Europe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14
GRovER,s POSITION.

Alton B. Parker will wait until 1912 at least
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

but they can't turn them up any higher than we do ours.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

After all, it might be better if the law permitted sidearms for umpires.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Seems hard matter for vesuvius to stop smoking.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

vassar threw 1O3 young men into the matrimonial market this year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Eufaula Times: One objection offered to woman suffrage is that they would give too much allmony as jurors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

King Ssawath of Cambodla is a guest of France. King Sis. has to take map around to show people where he lives.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

It Is remarkable what large pinchers ars required to hold a small piece of ice
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

With some people 1t is opportunity. with others just a plain "hunch'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

An artful advertiser claims that women can wear shoes one size smaller after using his foot powder.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala. post office as second-class matter under act of Congress March 8, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Dame Fashion says that children must be dressed with the utmost simplicity this year, thus permitting more frills for their mothers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

J. F. Keeley. W. F. Jordan and w. U. Lanier are the only authorized trayehne representatives of The Age-Herald in It's circulation department
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Gadsden Journal: Kansas has citizen who will be famous for having refused an appointment to the United States Sem ate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-06-14

Greenville Advocate: Just for variety we would like to read a report on some of those good trusts' the President was talking about.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1906-04-21
Nevada Will
Assist

GEORGETOWN. Tex. April 20
Mr. Davis, Carson City.-Immediat
action should be taken by the people
OF Nevada to assist the sufferers at
San Francisco. Please communicate
with Lieutenant Governor Allen. Gov
ernor Pardee has asked for assistance
at once. l would suggest a meet
ing of the state officers be held at
the capitol building l leave tonight
for home by way of San Francisco
JOHN SPARKS
Governor of Nevada.
Governor Pardee To The People
Governor Pardee has issued the
following address regarding the pres
ent catastrophe to the people Of the
state of California and of the country:
''The Appalling calamity which has
befallen the metropolis of the state
and its neighboring cityes leaves one
without words to express ones feel
ings. No one yet fully grasps what
has happened. although it is to be
hoped that the stories concerning the
loss of life are greatly exaggerated.
The loss of property from the earth
quake, of course. though small in
comparison with that resulting from
the following conflagration. would
have been serious enough to have
aroused the attention of the whole
world.
at has been source of pleasure,
among all the narrowing thoughts OF
this day of terrors. to have received
from the Governors of a dozen or
more states, messages of sympathy
for our stricken city and its people
and proffers Of assistance Of any
kind that may be needed. The presi
dent of the United States sent two
dispatches of coincidence, sympathy.
inquiry and proffers of assistance.
These messages. in our hour of deep
trouble give us assurance that our
distress is shared by our friends in
other states.
"San Francisco, though hard hit,
Is not by any means destroyed. Her
courageous people will soon recover
from thir dismay and the city by the
Golden Gate will arise again a new
city, one that we shall be even proud.
er Of than Of the old one While we
are for the moment, daunted despair
Is far from our thought.
Nevada to Pardee
In response to this message a meet
ing Il state officers was called and
the following dispatch sent:
To Charles Padree Governor of Cal
Nevada extends her hearty con-
dolances and sympathy to California
In the hour of her affliction Sub
scriptions are being raised for her
relief all over the sagebrush Let us
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1906-04-21
Pecple You Like 10 Meet.

Ar found on the th~lIe trains of
the SITE = POI =. First c,ass travel
is attracted TO first class reads. The
Sane u Eouta is first-class road
1t o2a Of me three largest rail
way listens in the world. Present
milas2c. 81 miles.
1t c-.--c2s from Lake 1iic,.'~~n to
the F-c.fc Ocean and Gulf of e1cxico.
react.1g with its own rails Chicago
k Cir. Denver, Fort Worth
Galveston. F. Paso. Los Angeles and
San Fv~.~'-"o.
It .i1s the finest and "a t-st : ans.
cort!re~ a. train. the California Limit
ed
meal service managed + =,
Fred Harvey. is the best IN the world
Its track IS rock ballasted al1 laid
throughout with heavy steel rails.
On such road as this lang distance
re- rds are frequently shattered. the
Ia, 1~.-5 hat of the "Scot,y s.
ia- Los Angeles to Chicago. 2.-255J
miles in less than 45 hours.
Every comfort and luxury desired
by modern Travellers
May We sell you ticket over the
Santa Fe.
6. F. WARREN, A. T. e. S. r. RY.
Salt Lake City. Utah.
OFF. w. PRINCE, San Francisco,
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1906-04-21

ANNUAL STATEMENT
Of Business of the Nevada Co. for 1865
Receipts S13G652 90
Disbursements ........... 147 ,S64 81
X M. Hiskey. Cashier
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1906-04-21
ASSESSMENT NOTICE
OF the Prudential investment and Sc
eurity Company.

VI the Pruoentidi TnVeOement anu Se-
curity Company.
Location of principal place Of bust :
Less, Carson City, Nevada. Notice is
hereby given that at a meeting OF the
Board of Directors held at the Office OF
the comapny at No. 16, n. Carson
street, Carson City, Nevada, held on
the 7th day of April, 1906 an assess
ment (No. p of ten dollars per share
was levied upon the capital stock OF
the corporation, payable to the Sec
rotary on or before Tuesday the Sth
day of May, 1906, at the Office of the
company at 116 n Carson street, in
Carson City. Nevada or at the execu-
tive of the company at Room 742, ia
the James Flood building in the City
and County of San Francisco. STATE
! of California Any stock upon which
! this assessment shall remain unpaid
on.
Saturday the 18th day Of May, 1906
will be delinquent and advertised for
sale at public auction; and unless
payment is made before, will be sold
/ on Thursday the 14th day of June
1906, to pay the delinquent assessment
together with costs of advertising and
/ expenses of sale.
/ BY order of the Board of Directors
! CHAS. WILSON. Sect
Principal office. No. 116. n Carson
| street, Carson City. Nevada
Executive Office. No. TAP, James
! Flood building, San Francisco, Cal.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1906-04-21
Post Yourself

IT you contemplate a trip to the
East call un or write to US 1t Reno
Should you have friends coming from
the East you can get information re-
gardfng rates. routes, etc., which will
be to their advantage and comfort. II
you wish you can deposit cost of tick
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1906-04-21
Branches al Tonopah, Goldfeld and Manhattan

Branches al Tonopah Godheld and Manhattan. Nevada
DIREcTORs. MEYERS, p H. PETERSEN, A.
r. WOODBURY., G W. MAPEs, c. T. BEN
BROUGHER. T. Hickey President; Geo H. Mey
P.
D.. vanderleh Cashier E. B. Cushman Asst
Cashier J. ~ LINDSAY, Asst Cashier, Godhed
H. Wise. Cashier -1anhattan
and Domestic Ex-
a GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS.
rented at from
$3.50 to &c. according size s. s
greater
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1906-04-21
EXCURSION RATES TO

EXCURSION RATES TO
PACIFIC COAST
Notify your friends in the East that
reduced round-trip excursion rates
will go into effect June LIST and that
tickets will be On sale daily until Sep
TENDER Is. 1906.
Rates rom principal Eastern points
as follows:
SHAoo6o %
Council Bluffs. St. Josephs. Lea
wentworth and Kansas City. so 90
Denver, Colorado Springs, Pue-
bio and Trinidad. so 90
lew Orleans 6y 90
For further information call or write
nearest agent or
D. S. TAGGART. D. +. &P.A.
Reno, Nevada.