The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-04-02

And thus the thought will e'er abide. I1s Nc matter ,,s whas sn,.S dear. nay may ssside You are ever my guiding star.
 Turned Down.
 He (ferventlyl-I will work for you s She % shaushsilySeDo ii St iS, you think am running dye works, That last love affair of Jones wrecked him"
 .Lured him to the brinkz~
 Yes. the girl lured him to the brink end married him."
 Ills Regret.
 An old colored man was telling a ing from a moonlight hunt and swung in each hand . fine fat 'possum- His path led by a farmers hen house, and stepping to look about him. he dise1y- .,,,. left open On the roost sat a big fat hen His mouth watered at the feast he was going to have The negro stop the chicken on the roost he would Rave to lay the game on the floor. It would take two hands. one to grasp the fowl by the neck to hush its squawks. another to hold Its feet He stood for such a long time trying to decide what to do that a big hungry hound came barking around the corner. dashed inside the hen house and--just then he woke up ~Ah always wants toe kick ma-self kaise Ah stopped in dar to look at dat blame hen when An was almost home wid dem two 'pessun1s-
 0caIar Denonstr.sie.. During fever scourge in which a number of people lost their lives. a eer- tain doctor had an Irish attendant. who followed him faithfully around every where One day after the trouble was over. the physician said to Pat. Well. we have had a time of it as you have Pat scratched his head and replied. ~Begorra, sir. an Oi really bod thoty Sure Oi kin hardly belave 1t till Oi hove seen it wid me own eyes" They have never spoken since they fen out
 Indeed"
 'Yes. you see. they fell out of a ten- What kind of instrument ought they to play hymns ony
 '1 should say on an upright piano.
 sure.
 He who dghts
 And runs away.
 Later writes
 And makes it pay.
 Ever Noticed us Funny"
 ''whatg''
 ITO think of our declining years" What is funny about thaty why a woman's declining years are all of those after she Is twenty well. doesn't she decline to tell her age from that time onE
 obeyfnx Orders Bridget had been told by the lady of the house to prepare, as surprise for her husband. a nice club sandwich ,, wnSn ,Sa d,nner a55,e t,s rosn with a piece of stove wood in between two loaves of bread
 belave he kin come tn club" Sometimes a rich man has a poor ap- petite
 He laughs best whose laugh lasts A lot of society women would like to have their nurseries remodeied into dog kennels
 When a man gets married he often feels he would like to use his old ex- cuse the club" to beat around the bush eS HI GGSlA0 No 6OA-6 SAN -AA N-N S-N-~ Ing.
 Its a mighty funny girl who can't hear an engagement ring when the fel- low has been going with her long time
 time. @ N
 Sleep walker-the father of twins.  The hand that rocks the cradle rules the rooster she usually does It sounds paradoxical but the leaves of the first pair were those of a fig- You can live on the fat of the land If you have a hea on prosperity Sometimes a plain drunk costs a Ian- ey price.
 A woman crys first and opens the telegram afterwards
 An honest man is noble but all noble men are not honest
 Aa Alabama ssnE. Spahks up de chimney am fiyin' fast
 (Fry dat middiin' brOwnl- Wondah how long it's gwine toe last?
 (Fry dat middlin' b~own(- Hoecake in de ov-n hot.
 (Fry dat middlin' brown)- Dunno wheddah Ah'll wuk or not
 fFry dat middlin' brown)- Iinday sot dat table quick.
 IFry dat middlin' brown)- Hustle roun' an do it slick
 (Fry dat middlin' brown). preaehsh cumin' down de road
 CFry dat middliE' brown). Nostriis Snif5n' lak he knOwed-
 (Fry dat middlin brownl