davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

home 10 the loving arms Of your wis.
IT the kissing ouggettas should fol
low you TO the sacred precincts Of tha
home circle send your mother-in-iaw
ont with the broomstick. ard may a
kind heaven help those who. cannot
run fast enough.
Beloved Togie. Nov listen with
all your ears This advise I give you
from the heart Don't let any com
mittee present you with a house.
Handsome Togie. Avoid this house
proposition as you would a creditor.
Remember. Togie that the public
likes 10 honor a hero by giving him
something expensive, and then dis
honor him afterwards by watching
what he does with It,
Noble Togie; There are only two
ways a hero can remain hero in this
strange world of ours. One way Is to
die just after he has heroed, and the
other way is to get in a glass case and
stay there-but he must buy the glass
case himself
Unbeatable ie-when the pub
Tic gets jag Of Joy from the lntoxica-
ton Of your success they will surely
rush up to you with the plans era
Specifications Of a fine bungalow with
hot and cold gas nad running servants.
but when they do so just place the
left hand in the apex OF the waistcoat
and say to them with a cold glitter in
the lamps: I thank you. public. for
this display o. generosity, but
would prefer hat yog keep the bum
galow and ( will keep my own little
fiat on One Hundred and Ninth street.
because / know the janitor there and
he never steals the milk"
mice Togie Republics and any old
kind OF publics are always grateful
while the jag of JOY lasts. They are
dead anxious to give hero more than
is coming to him. but after the jag OF
joy wears or then comes the bitter
morning after when they wake up
with the head fun OF third-rail mi
crobes and the tongue like a bridge
with the draw open, and they keep
saying to themselves; Why did
give that hero such a nice house, be-
cause. to save my soul, / can't remem-
/ btl luoN WuuN hAAih Vi hNAOAhb nN nAA
to deserve It,
My dear Togie: Avoid the kissing
buggettas and don't pay any attention
to the house committee and possibly
you will be able to keep on your
heroesque way to the bitter end.
Il have never been hero myself.
Togie, with the exception of one after
noon when l sunk an armored cruiser
cook in our kitchen after she had
swallowed a bottle OF vodka and was
bombarding the gas stove with our best
set OF china dishes. but l love all the
heroes. and II any little advise OF mine
could help a hero to keep busy at the
Job of heroing | would be pleased and
ticl1led internally. Yours with love,
UNCLE PETER"
Togo hasn't replied as yet, but
Uncle Peter expects a postal card or
a hand-painteu fan in every mail.
Copyright, 1901. by G. W. Dillingham; Col
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

raiss 81 the paiisn-stey nag ever dissen from the
parys position on the question declared sy the party to
be paramountbu didates and members Of The organi
zaou known to be anagonstic &c the partys purpose,
can not amy services sufficiently important 70
over. one the damage done by their attitude today
when the trust issue the paramount issue the Demo
cratic candidates and the Democratic organization must
bdly against corporate domination in politics
NO MAN WHO is FINANCIALLY CONNECTED
WITH a CORPORATION THAT is SEEKING PRIVl-
LEGEs OUGHT TO ACT AS MEMBER OF A
POLITICAL ORGANIZATION BECAUSE HE CAN NOT
REPRESENT HIS CORPORATION AND THE PEOPLE
AT THE SAME TIME. HE CAN NOT SERVE THE
PARTY WHILE HE is sEEKING TO PROMOTE THE
FINANCIAL INTERESTS OF THE CORPORATION
WITH WHICH HE IS CONNECTED.
This may be accepted as automatic 1t is the state
mont Of an old fashioned truth which dispute
simply paraphrase Of the Bible declaration that
two masters Upon so simple
proposition there should be dispute II you believe
with me in the Importance Of having the Democratic
organization from the taint Of corporate control
urge you to present this your neghbors and
apply the principle to your local and state as well as
national organizations Doubtless there many Demo
oicaly-who would put the good OF the party above the
interests their corporations but such men enough
about human nature know how Impossible 1t is to
convince public of their disnteresedness and they
really feel deep in the party's they will
not thrust themselves upon the narty in official way
even allow be persuaded 10 become officers
of the party organization. II is reflection upon them
personally say that aid their party in this
capacity
cratic vcorya victory which instead of being barren of
fruit will bring relief the people and establish the
party public confidence for years take the liberty OF
presenting these suggestions to you
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24
POLITICAL NOTES.

Win said prominent Republican
last night. of course we will win %
He was speaking Of Henry Asps
nomination we have the support
of the railways and the coal interests
of the new state, and we always have
run things and we will do II this time.
This talk about the railways being
dangerous is all rot A railway has
as good right to be in politics as
any othef interest in the state, and
SC far as am concerned, ! would
rather trust Henry Asp to write a
constitution for the new state than
to trust a lot of farmers who would
want to shut out every interest but
their own.
Think what the railroads have at
stake in this matter, said this Re-
publican. SHOW me any other enter
prise in the state that anywhere near
approaches the values wrapped up In
the railroads Now where is the JUS
tice in letting the men who represent,
say. $4,000 or $4,000 capital apiece,
to meet and construct constitution
which win place the greatest inter
ests of the state at the mercy Of the
men who imagine because they do
not get dollar a bushel for their
wheat or because they have to pay
81 per ton for coal that the railroads
are the cause Of It all
1T will mean that the railway de-
velopment in Oklahoma will stop,
and the state win be at standstill
for years to come say that we have
got to give the railroads representa-.
tion or we win give the state a set
back OF ten years, or maybe more.
know 1t is not popular to talk this
way, but / mean Just what | say.
believe Henry Asp Should be elected
and that he should go there as the
representative of the railroads to see
that they get a square deal"
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24
BETTER THAN UNITED sTArEsi
samland, II Is Asserted, Would Make
a Good Name.

A certain class of minds has been at
work for more than 100 years trying
to construct an original designation
in single word for the United States
of America. 1t was seriously proposed
at first to call the republic Columbia,
but no one wanted that. and finally
New Granada in South America, came
along and appropriated the tile.
Samuel Whelpley, author of the Com.
pend of History" conducted cam.
paign in behalf of the word Ere
donia," which he considered more
euphon!us than "Fredomia," but sue
ceeded only in getting the name at.
tached to a village in this state,
whence It has been passed on to post
offices in dozen other states of the
union, says the New York Mail Later
the English kindly attempted to re-
christen the country "Usonia and the
people "Usonians." by derivation from
the magical initials "U. S" But com
mon speech accepts none OF these des.
lgnatons America" and "Amcri-
cans are good enough for the people
who see no impropriety whatever in
giving a contipental designation to
the republic and its citizens s.s
But the fact that no original designa
ton has yet pleased the fancy of the
people is no sure sign that none ever
will. The International Mercantile
Marine company has hit upon a name
for one of its ships which has great
popular picturesque possibilities. The
steamer Mississippi OF the Red Star
line Is to be rechristened Samiand, in
honor of Uncle Sam.
And "Samland" Is good, Uncle Sam.
the genial and shrewd abstraction OF
the republic, is dear to every heart
We can imagine "Samland" going
from mouth to mouth until the applica.
tion of II is transferred 70 the nation.
After that Americans of the United
States may be calling themselves Sam
anders and the business will be done.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24
PRINCIPAL NEMs BUREAU.
Cobbler- Barber Who Was the Chief
Medium of Information in
General.

A talkative and self-important young
court stenographeT went with detailed
Judge to one OF the feud towns in the
Kentucky mountains to do his part in
holding a term of court.
II was a small place, relates the Satur-
day Evening Post, far from railroad.
and the inhabitants were all feudists of
one clan or another After a day or swo
at the little hotel the stenographer said
to the hotel keeper; Where's the bar
Der shop?"
Amt no barber shop here, the
boniface replied we all mt stly let's
our hair grow"
But can't / get shaved am where ?"
"Oh, yes, reckon you kin. Uncle Joe
down 20 the eobbler's shop sometimes
shayes folks"
The stenographer went to Uncle Joe's
and found the cobbler to be a mild-man-
nered old man. with flowing gray whisK-
ers and a pale and beatifc blue eye.
Uncle Joe said he could shave him and
he got out razor and a shaving mug.
The stenographer sat down on chair
trepidation, but the old man was skill
full and gave him a good shave.
II was necessary for the young man
to talk, so when the barber was on his
throat he said: Good many murders
around here, 1n't there?"
We'll suh," the barber said, I'VE
don't call them murders. Howsomever,
there Is some kilIin's, II that is what
you mean"
"Oh, WE'LL said the young man, Il
suppose one names as good as another.
When was the last killing?"
"A man was shot out here in the
square last week.
who shot him?' -4ss.
The barber brought the razor up on
the young mans Adams apple Il did,
he said.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24
DOG REMEMBERED ERRANp
Had to Have a Paper for His Master
and Committed Highway
Robbery. :

A new and true addition TO the
endless string of dog stories is told
by correspondent in country vii.
lage on the continent.
The village innkeeper had trained
his dog to go every day at a certain
hour and fetch his masters paper
from the ONCE where It was printed.
One day on his way home the dog
met an old enemy; the two engaged
in a tight and the newspaper came
70 grief. When his foe had skunk
away the victor, with an anxious look
In his eyes. stood over the tatters.
AT that moment a gentleman hold.
ing foreign paper came into view.
walking lelsurely along, and the dog
at once, and without a sign OF aeita-
tion. took hold OF Il and carried Il
TO his master, whose astonishment
at receiving a foreign paper gave way
10 pride and yainglory when the vic.
tim of this example or shameless
highway robbery, who had followed
the dog, laughingly explained the
situation.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

after a man reaches the age Of 40 he
is seldom-happener, and after he
gets 10 the age OF 60 he Is a dead
rabbit and it's the woods for his.
what was the result, Uncle Peter? ?
Every man In the world felt that
was his personal insult.
Every man over 40 listened to what
/ said and began to yell for the police;
and every man under 40 realized that
he would be over 40 some day. so ha
began 20 look for rock to throw at
me.
Il had them, going and coming
Then the newspapers heard about
II and where formerly in their col
umns was nothing but dull and harm
less war news my picture began 70
blossom forth like the flowers that
bloom IN the spring, ira la
Pretty soon, Uncle Peter, every
man. woman and child In the world
began 70 know me and / couldn't walk
out In the public streets without be-
ing snap-shotted or bowed %, or
5arked at. according 70 the age q
those present
~of course Ne az know. Uncle
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

Caesars wishbone, that Cleopatra was
over 40 before she saw snakes: that
Carrie Nation was over 40 before she
could hatchet a barroom and put the
boots to the rum demon; that Mrs.
Chadwick was over 40 before she
opened a bank account that Jonah
was over 40 before he saw a whale:
that President Roosevelt was over 40
before he saw a self-folding lion: that
Kuropatkin was over 40 before he
learned TO make FIVE retreats grow
where only one retreat grew before:
that George Washington was over 40
before he was struck with the idea of
making Valley Forge a winter resort;
and so forth, and so forth, world with
out end
But these suggestions only prove
the rule, Uncle Peter, and the rule is
this:
Some advertisement now and then
Is relished by the greatest menl'
Don't worry, Uncle Peter. because
you are getting to be a has-was.
"You may do something in your old
age which viii make people think les
of you than they do now-you never
can tell.
with these few words l will leave
you. Uncle Peter; wishing you as much
age in the future as you have had in
the past Yours with love.
WILLIAM OSLER"
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24
EMBARRASSING 10 SHAW.

Secretary shaw a candidate for president to sue
ceed Mr. Roosevelt He visited Missouri couple of years
ago and again this He profeesed strong admir-
alton for the Missouri Republicans and they slobbered
ever him Mr.. Shaw counted upon the vote Of Missouri
him the standard bearer OF the party Indeed
had been assured that he the iayorite and he,
therefore very tender spot in his sandpat heart for
the Missouri gang 1t because Of this that some
ago he consented to return to the state and make
series speeches. felt that he owed this much to the
party in upon whose in The national con
venon he felt cock
there is many slip twixt the cup and the lip,
and the Missouri Republicans slippery bunch After
having the OF Mr. Shaw State Chair
man Niedrnghaus called his clans together and they
didn't do thing but endorse Mr.. Roosevelt for third
term. Had they this before Secretary Shaw had
made his dates speaking in Missouri it is dollars to
doughnuts he would not be in Missouri whcopng up
the boys or standpatism Possibly Mr.. Shaw viii
dose Mr estimate OF the eating bunch in that
when he said They the blankest outfit ever
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

be awarded in prizes. During the
first two weeks the events wH be Of
- preliminary character.
On October 8, 10 and A the great
Mississippi Valley FumFfty viii be
run October - and 10 Viii be de,
,otec 10 the sapling coursing, for
puppies born siuce Jan /. 1896
octobes i6 and II will witness the
eoursing for the celebrated Water
loo cur. The three days following
the coursing will be for the william
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24
GEORGE v. HOBART

Uncle Peter is one OF the gamest
little chunks of humanity that ever
looked the world in the eye, but when
he heard the edict put forth by DR.,
Osler the old man went overheard with
a splash
He was under water a long time.
He thought the Bcgey Man had him
for sure.
Uncle Peter felt that It would no
longer be possible for him to pass a
drug store without some young fellow
rushing out with a handkerchief full
OF chloroform and yelling: Here,
Nou old chestnut! here's where you set
Il in the hosel"
In the dark watches of the night
Uncle Peter used to wake up covered
with cold perspiration, because he had
dreamed that Doc Osler was pounding
him on the bald spot with a baseball
bat after having poured hair dye all
over his breakfast food.
At last Uncle Peter got so nervous
| advised him to write to the doctor.
Ask him II he won't commute your
sentence because you live in the coun-
try and are a cOmmuter" | suggested
The 10ctor replied to Uncle Peter
at once, and I will try to translate his
'etter from Johns Hopkins into pure
English, as near as | can remember:
Johns Hopkins. To-Day.
Dear Uncle Peter: When cut
oose with the observation that men
we're all in at 40 and rauss mittim at
o | kept several exceptions up my
leeve
The exceptions include you, Uncle
Peter and myself also.
1T could not apply in your case.
Uncle Peter, because | have known you
since we lived together I'm Baltimore
many moons ago. ana realize that
the years have only improved you.
Uncle Peter and that to-day you are a
bigger shine than you ever were.
'One point about my observation
which seems to have escaped the eyes
of the general public. but which you
suggest so delicately in your letter,
Uncle Peter, will be found in the beau
tiful words of the poet who says.
Some advertisement now and then
Is needed by the greatest menl
Don't mention IT, Uncle Peter, for
what | tell you is confidential, but do
you know that my little bunch of re-
marks, which cost me nothing anyway
because | was invited to the banquet
have given me more widespread ad-
vertisement than Andy Carnegie can
get for IS public libraries?
You know Uncle Peter. there is
nothing in the world so easy to make
stand up on its hind legs as the gen
eral public IL you just go after it right
But the trick is, Uncle Peter. Ia
know what TO say and when to say 1t
Look at my case and then tell me
If il wasn't up to me to emit a rave
There J was. just about to leave ms
native land to go TO oxford and be-
come the squeegee professor in the
knowledge Factory and be all swal.
lowed up in the London fog. but no
body seemed to miss me before / Wen
away
u began TO feel lost, lonely and for
gotten. like vice president of tn,
United States.
Then came the banquet. Uncl,
Peter and like a fash the inspiration
came to me and arose in my sea-
and said: Ladies and gentlemen
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

After getting this letter Uncle Peter
began TO breathe easier and two DAYS
later he was quite able 70 resist the
desire to crawl under the bed every
time a bottle Of soothing syrup ar
rived from the drug store.
Uncle Peter got very gay the dav
after Admiral Togo won the battle OF
the Sea OF Japan.
Fifteen minutes after the last Rus
sian battleship had been clapped on
the cross-trees Uncle Peter had a let
ter written to Togo.
| am going to show you a copy of
IT, II I get pinched in the act:
New York, This Morning.
ITO Admiral William Duffy Togo. the
japanese Crackerjack
Dear Togie:-Please forgive me for
writing you these few lines, but have
been through several wars myself and
/ have witnessed how easy 1t Is for
la hero TO take the wrong road ana
walk Unexpectedly into the cold stor-
age departmen. Of the public's esti-
nation. That is the reason / wish 10
give you a few points on the etiquette
Of being a hero. which have studied
from observation in this country.
Brave Togie; When you get home
In Toxic or Yokohama, or Communi-
paw, or wherever II Is, keep the face
closed, more especially in the region
of the mouth, because the moment a
hero begins to speak somebody will
misconstrue what he says and get him
talking politics when he only meant
TO say; Drink heartyl'
Clever Togie: Don't ever tax with
an ambitious reporter unless you have
a baseball mask over the face and 4
mosquito netting over the vocabulary:
because If you only say to him; How's
the health?' you will find In the morn
ing paper column interview, in which
you have decided to run for mikado
on the Democratic ticket.
Good Togie; When you arrive at
the depot In your home town you will
hnd lined up in front OF the baggage
room about 81 young ladies, all with
their lips puckered up In the most
kissifactOry manner-but don't do A,
Togie.
Friend Togie:-Resist the awful
temptation to 90 down the line and
plant burning kisses on the front teeth
OF these beautiful maidens, because
after planting these kisses the harvest
VIII be the long grass OF oblivion, and
you viii fnd yourself rushing madly
through the comic papers trying 20
bite ell the fair ladies therein.
Fine Togie:-When you meet this
awful situation, Is meet II you will,
sneer gently al the puckered lips and
repeat over and over the old pr0verb:
Oscillation is the thief OF reputation.
Then with a naughty glance at the
lady kissing bugs jump quickly into
your zinrie4eyshau and aalion swiftly
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24
NATIONAL coueslNc MEET.
(By Associated Press.l

Hot Springs. s. d.. Sept "a
Scores OF dogs, the product Of years
Of careful breeding and training. are
taking part IN the national coursing
meet which began today on fhe pre-
serves near this place The meet is
ono OF the largest ever pulled OF In
America The events will conisnue
more than a month aBd S6.OO9 will
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

Henry Asp general solicitor fer the Santa Fe railroad
aud lobbyist nominated for delegate to the con
stituonal convention by the Republicans at Guthrie Still
Guthrie Capital yanly endeavors TO show that the
corroratons are backing in the state
II Republicans win majority Ct the constitutional
delegates railroads don't have finger in the pie
it viii be the legislative affair they haven't had their
fingers in in many day-Muskogee Times
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

Peter, that my theory has wormholes
all over it, but didn't make good7
I'VE do not need a book of history
to tell us that Julius Caesar was over
40 before he ever saw the base OF
Pompey's statue; that Brutus and Cas-
sius were over 40 before they saw
chance to carve their initials on
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

A hath cleanses the Skin and rids the
pores OF refuse A bath n axes for better
fellowship and citIzenshir Not only
should the outside OF the body bo
cleaused. but occasional use OF a laxa-
tive or cathartic opens the bowels aid
clears the system OF effete matte-. Best
for this are Dewitts Little Barly Rise-s.
pleasant little pills do not grippe or sick
en-. Sold by c. r. Renfro
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

Burke cup and added money The
crowning event of the meet will be
run October 25, this being the cham
Iionship stake An OF the events VIII
take place under the auspices OF the
American coursing board, which is
the controlling organization OF the
sport
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24
10 CUBE A FEI ON %

says Sam. Kendall OF PhT'psbusg. Kan.
Just cover Il over with Bucklon's Arni-
ca Salve ana the Salve WI do the rest
Quickest cure for Burn Rolls. Sores
scalds, Wounds. Pnes.t Eczema, salt
Rheum, chapped Hands sore Feet and
Sore Eyes, Olly 25c al an drug stores.
Guaranteed.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24
rAMMANy's slo DELEGATION.


New York. Sept. a. Though Tam
many Han may not be able 70 have
things It's own way at the Democratic
state convention tomorrow the famous
organizations viii be much in evidence
nevertheless. Eighteen hundred Tam
many braves, under the leadership of
Charles r. Murphy, startsd fo7 Buffalo
In four spscial trains this morning, This
Is said 20 be the largest delegation ram-
many Han ever sent 10 o state conven-
tion.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

The Leader Is authorized 70 announce
the name OF Walter Wilsol Of Bear
Creek township as candidate for The
Constituuoaal convention from tho 26th
district subject 70 the Democratic pTi-
maries TO bo held October II. 1856.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

Myer-I wonder why Browne added
the e. 70 his name after inherlting q
fortune?
Gyer-He probably figured out 70 his
own satisfaction that rich people are
entitled % more ease than poor peo-
nlo-Tit-Bita.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24
ANNOUNCEMENTS
gam plssrIst.

Tie Leader S. authorized 20 announce
the name Of Walter Mathews OF Mulhaii
as candidate for delega.a % the Com
stitutionai convention frora the 2iih pis-
trici subject to the action OF the Demo-
cratic primary October II
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-09-24

"he who despises smen things sci.
dom grows rich; and ne who Ignores
the small ada. seldom ever lives COM
FORTABE.Y.