The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-03-16
URCINGATOR s GO.


tive Of Urgiugator 3 Co., the
trouble zdjusters. has yust returned
from China where be has been
working overtime for the last two
moufhs adjusting the Boxer dis-
turbances. He was eniinently sue
sessfuI Ia this task and 50 highly
pleased was the Emperor with his
work. that he presented to Mr.
Conner one Of the most treasured Of
his possessions IS feeble expres-
sion Of his appreciation. The ar
ticle IS known As Domestic
Barometer, the only one in exist
ence, the mysteries Of its mechan-
ism having been sacredly guarded
for more than 1900 years Il
invented by the Grand Swat Of
Ysugstekiang in the 20 tn century
B. C.. It's existence soon became
known among the jealous
neiRhboring clans Tartars, Tender
feet and Timbucioos. and soon the
Asiatic nordes were plunged into
almost inferminabIe wars over It's
posrnsioz. II was finally secured
By Prince Pigtail and placed in
joss house and the Chinese Duilt
the great wall to protect it from
their enemies.
Mr.. Conner turned the instru-
meut over to the president Of the
company Mr. Ross, who At oEce re-
cognized its utility and had it in-
stalled in the Department Of Dom
estic Difficulties which il in charge
Of Secretary Stout. A brief des-
cription Of it is appended.
An instrument enclosed in vest
pocket case il sensitized to the Nth
degres and GRADUATED to scale Of
cabalistic marks Ehich indicate
she exact state Of domestic Atncs-
phere At any hour Of the night.
The hard worked aud beIated
husband arrives home say about
midnight. He takes cut the in
dicator, thrusts it in the key hole
and JETS ii remain there few sec
onds. Pulling It out quickly he
s1ans the dial by the moonlighrs
fitful cleaning. If it marks s. A.
(sound asleep the poor husband
puII off his boots noiselessly uses the
night key with bated breath, gives
the door quick pull to keep it
from creaking, steals trembling to
bed and when his wifey dear wakes
ND abont two seconds afterward
and wants TO know how long ne
has been home he is sound sleep.
If the indicator scores "A. A. c.,
B. ID. X. w. IT." (awake, awful
cross. bur does not know what time
it isl, the husband puts few more
grains Of coffee in his mouth, opens
the door boldly and walks in with
d slam hang air, hits his boots
against a chair, want to know why
the devil chairs don't keep out Of
his way, gets'desperately mad on
general principles, scares his wife
clean cnt Of her crossness and cur
tain lectures, refuses to let her get
up and strike match-never did
like light at night nohow remarks
grufiy ID response to a timid query
that its about twenty minutes
after 70. and then turns into bed.
There are other marks on the in
dicator showing just where il will
do 10 play the lodge dodge" or
the sick friend, : or been stand
ing on the corner talk
ing to so-and-so for more than an
hour" But the most awful Of all
the cabalistic signs on the top dial
is the one at the top, about two
marks above boiling point.
When the weary husband comes
home ubout 4 a. m. and sticks the
Indicator in the keyhole' he is al
most to weak to draw it out. With
hair on ends he read it by the
faint light streaming in upon him
from over the eastern hills and