New-York tribune., 1906-11-26
NOISE.

| The slencing of the steam whistles along the
river front Is vindication of the publics right
| TO its nerves. Some British scientists are try
| Ing in a learned way TO standardiZe nose-to
Contrive some delicate instrument which will
tell us when there is an unreasonable degree of
clangor in our sonorous cities as the ther-
| mometer tells us when there is excessive heat
and danger of summer prostrations. Why not
make the man with nerves the standard? He
is delicate instrument, and may be depended
upon 10 detect the slightest painful excess. He
gains right to public respect through the de-
cislon Of the authorities that the man who can
sleep with steam siren exploding within a
hundred yards of his bed chamber is not our
standard man. The man with nerves Is no
! longer joke; he is stern reality.
How contemptuously must the hearty sailor
men who go down to the sea in their egotistical
craft with the dimensions of a rowboat and the
voice of a battleship regard the landsman with
his nerves, They can sleep within inches of
the prodigious din of their whistles; the lands
i man must be n degenerate and weakling to
have his distant sumbers disturbed by the same
| noise. This common attitude makes noise the
most lrrepressible of modern nuisances. Every
body feels that his own noise is a slight thing
against which only crank should protest.
Noise seems to be regarded an inalienable
right the abridgement Of which in the interests
of society is a revolutionary procedure. In a
Thousand forms it assais humanity. and except
for this stopping of the steam whistles little
has ever been done 10 relieve thr0bbing ears.
Physicians assert that at night it keeps us on
the troubled borderland of sleep, barring us
from entering into the undsturbe1 rest where
nature repairs the damage of the day They
warn that thessicll die from It that human
efficiency is lessened by if that il shortens our
days; that the bacilIi which haunt the air are
not worse enemies than the sound waves that
CULVER i'll the air and beat in upon our brains.
There benign bacilli, but there are no be-
nign noises. Perhaps when the scientists have
invented an instrument which will tell us Just
what degree of noise humanity can endure un-
harmed and what degree II city like New York
is suffering from, we shall go to WORK wisely
and Systematically to suppress unnecessary and
nOXious clatter.
We are forced by many observations TO the
conclusion that noise is not nuisance TO the
majority but on the contrary delight The
love of noise is an inherent vice Of the race
like the love of strong drink. The natural nun
testifies To his happiness by the noise he makes.
Nations exhibit their general joy by Il great
noise. The young like noise. \ baly's second
test of the utility of any object grasped in its
hands tthP first. of course, is elibilityD is how
much noise il will make There ven have the
unGuidrd appetencies of human nature We
testify cur lasting appreciation of noise in the
metaphor summarizing human ambition as an
aspiration ito make noise in the world" The
average man acknowledges the JOY OF living by
means of phonograph with ten-foot mega
phone attached-nO whispered testimonial for
him. The scissors grinder brings the glad It'd
inGs of great joy that he is ready to grind your
cutlery by blasts upon a raucOus cornet ahom-
inably blown The street rendcr roars the
bountieS of nature through the streets Your
love of your neighbor. Scripturally enjoined
must be extended to include the midnight bark
Of your neighbor's dog. The horn of plenty
that ancient symbol of human prosperity is
converted to new uses in an effort megaphOni-
cally to reach the ear. outdinning the general
din. 1t has become the horn of plenty of noise.
The tugboat men, lately suppressed made love
to their Joans with amorous toots of their steam
sirens. The feminine heart was found peculiar
ly susceptible to those mighty messages of affec-
ton. 10 make joyful noise" is an ancient
prescription TO man, and we must conclude, to
most OF his race any noise is joyful noise the
more noise, the more joy
But tie noise lovers have their antitype In the