The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-11-04
FROM BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

OH with a girls pocketbOok. and he
consented 10 appear as a witness for
the girl.
The thiefs lawyer was of the type
that roars and rants at witnesses and
attempts to break them down. He tried
this method on the distinguished actor
And at what hour, sir did this hap
penn asked the lawyer.
81 think" began Sir Henry whom
the lawyer interrupted him with:
II isn't what you think, sir; it's what
you know that we want"
Don't you want to know what I
think mildly asked the actor
do not" the lawyer snapped out.
well, then" said Sir Henry. 81
can't talk without thinking. I'm not
lawyer
When Robert Edeson walked into his
garden at his country place in Sag
Harbor a few mornings ago, he found
MS gardener with a small oil can lin
oerlng up the lawn mower.
Where did you get the oil?" asked
Edeson.
In the cellar, SIR"
We had no machine oil in the Gel
lar"
~ know it, SIR"
We'll, what are you using?"
The oil from the Italian can 1 found
there
My Italian oil! My salad oiIy ex-
canned Edeson. Stop it, mani Stop
1t! L brought that all the way from
Rome, and it cost me as much as your
months wages
The play with the happiest ending,
says the London Sketch, is Hamlet -
because you know very well that all
those poor dears are out of their trou-
>bles They were fairly happy while
they were alive. The guilty king and
queen had pretty good time of it,
suspect, although Hamlet was a bit of
a nuisance AS for Hamlet himself. no
man ever enjoyed running amuck as
he did. Day after day he Rugged
himself to think that he was to have
the pleasure of sticking his sword into
his uncle. And he had such an admir-
able excuse for gratifying his murder
Gus fastest Depend upon it, Hamlet
Was happy enough. But, for all that, it
is nice to see him dead and to feel quite
certain that he will make no more of
those brain racking speeches and have
no more of those tiresOme domestic
quarrels. Death, then, is the one happy
ending to play or a story.
x X X
Morris Ntzhugh, of the Players Stock
company finds time between matinee
and night performances to scribble a
bit. He observed as follows one day
recently:
In the game Of hearts, when in doubt
lead diamonds.
All the worlds stage. l wish there
were more intermiSsions.
The keenest critic of him who can is
he who cannot.
Truth may have been stranger than
fiction, before the days of the tank
melodrama. Not now.
The blind pianist plays with much
feeling.
Little things tell-some children for
instance.
People never discover what a corrupt
thing the stage is until they cannot get
on it.
No man is the same all the time.
Which is the reason why it is possible
TO have some respect for some men
some time.
Happiness is different from street
car. You continue to run after it after
you have caught it.
Who is better fitted to gather a crop
of wild oats than rake?
When a man tells you he is going to
stand by you until the last dollar, ask
him whose last dollar he means.
X ~
Caruso the tenor, is a ventriloquist
as well, and in New York before he
sailed for home. he told at farewell
dinner a story of his ventrilOquial skill.
81 was one of a house party at a mill
lionaire's great new castle overlooking
the Hudson he said. Tea had been
served in the garden, and after tea
sang. Then 1 consented to essay a lit
tie Ventriloquism, and the fifty or sixty
guests grew very still
Behind me rose superb tree. Look
ing up into the thick foliage, I shouted
in a loud and angry voice:
'Helloi What are you doing up
there?'
ITO my amazement a thin young
voice replitd:
81 amt doin' no harm, mister. I'm
just a-watchin' the big bugs
THE guests glanced at one another,
smiling appreciatively. Pulling myself
together, 1 went on:
Did any one give you permission
to climb up into that tree?'
Yes, sir. The groom, sir. He's my
cousin
Well, said I. so far there's no harm
done. But be careful not to fall, and
don't let any one see you
All right, mister said the humble |
voice.
Il turned to my audience, and smiled |
and bowed triumphantly. They broke |
into thulderous applause. They said |
that they had never listened to ventril-
oqufsm so superb. And they were quite |
right, too"
Here is a good story of the late Eng |
lish comedian, Toole, that will be new
to many.
What I want is a bright, short play"
said Toole to the amateur who had |
brought him a six-act drama.
How do you mean-a short, bright |
drama?" asked the author. Can you |
give me an idea?"
"Oh. yes said Toole; there's one |
It's direct and leaves much to the i'm
agination.
1T is in one act
when the curtain goes up two per-
sons are discovered on a sofa, one a |
pretty young woman. the other a nice
looking young fellow. They embrace;
neither of them says word. Then
door opens at the back and a COM
mercial traveller enters. He wears an
overcoat and carries an umbrella. You
can tell at once by his manner that he
is the husband of the young woman
A & ct hot - e