Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-06-30
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10 Ut idlSe dS tn.-NeW 1oFk weekly.
Jack-KIow Is it you lavish so much
affection on those dumb brutes? lila
For want of something better.-Judge.
Lady Customer Gin bakers shop, to
ship glrD Are these buns to-day's, be-
cause what | bought yesterday weren't.
Punch.
Woman's Ages-He: They say
man has seven ages" She: women
are more stable. They have one age
and stick TO It."
Well Answered Mistress: DO you
like ehildrenT' Applicant for Nurse;
DO yes lxpect TO git Roosevelt fer
four dollars week."
Mamma is II possible to hate any
one you have never met and don't know
personally" Certainly, darling;
don't we all hate CentralT Life.
Suspicious What is the prisoners
reputation for truth and veracity2" II
don't know, except that l have fire.
quently seen him go past with a fishing
pole"
Nose Johnson Doan yo' hate to see
IA woman's hands covered wifi rings?
Pete Persimmons--Ah suttinly does.
Aid as soon git hit VIII brass knuckles!
Puck.
As 1t Ought to Seem.-"Hans, how
long have You been marriedT well,
dis is ting that | seldom don't like
to talk about, but ven does, 1t seems
SO long as II never vas
Shocking What would you do IL
should give you peDny?" asked the
old lady, Madame" replied the beg
gar, Il am afraid should be compelled
to invest Il In n nerve tonic
Miss Debutte- Now that you're grad
uated from college, don't YOU miss the
outdoor exercise? Mr.. Greenwun-Not
especially. You see, I'm serving sub
poenas for law firm now.--Puck.
How dare you laugh at our inyesti
gatlom2" said the irate statesman.
Thought 1t was the proper thing to
do" answered the tinancier. WAS told
1t would be farce. Washington
Star
Regrets. A country paper has this
personal item: Those who know old
Mr.. Wilson of this place personally will
regret to hear that he was assaulted In
a brutal manner last week, but was not
killed"
His Hope. Mother: "Oh, you bad
boy Dirty hands again! I'm afraid
you're hopeless case" Tommy (eager
Ily) oh ma, does hopeless mean
you're going To give up talking about
itT-Philadelphia Ledger.
Yellow Peril What broke up the
Ladies' Debating Society," THE lead
ing member was told to prepare an es-
say on the yellow peril She did so.
and the opening sentence read: Vel
low apparel is very trying TO most com
lpleXlons
Miss Skreecher What sort OF songs
do you like best, Mr., Suphrer7 Mr..
Suphrer-The songs of the seventeenth
century. Miss Slow odd Why do
you prefer them? Mr. S.-Because no
body ever sings EN- nowadays, -Cleve-
land Lender.
Modern Natural History. teach
pr bad been telling the class about the
rhlnOceros family. "Now name some
things" said he that It IL dangerous
to get near to, and that have horns"
Automobiles" promptly replied little
Robbie Bright
No he said, I'm not sure whether
my wife's Christmas gift to me was
neant 10 please me or to humble my
pride" What did she give your
She had n crayon portrait of me made
by an amateur tist."-English Illus
rated Magazine.
Miss Watkyns Where Is Mr.. Cash
eigh nOwI Mr.. Wiikyns~I don't know
exactly. Somewhere up In Canada
Miss Watkyns Why, | didn't know
hat he wac going away. Mr., Wilkyns
The bank directors didn't either
somerville Journal.
Governor Cat the consul's party)--I
remember your face perfectly, sir, but
four name for the moment has escaped
ne. Stranger am delighted to meet
Tour again, your excellency, My name
Ivan Petrovitch Swercczskiski.-
somervlllc journal,
Patient Doctor, frequently expe-
renee kissing sound In my ears.
What would you advise me to do? Doc
Tor What IL your OccupatIonf Pa
| lient-Im an actor. Doctor-Then I'd
advise you to get some other kind Of
job Chicago Daily News.
First Attempt.-"DO you keep silk
OlincT' asked Mrs. Youngwife OF the
dry goods clerk 81 am sorry, madam,
but we are all out of II to-day" "Oh,
what a pity did want It awfully.
| But If you haven't II, | Win have TO
make sokething else answer Please
give me two yards OF cottolene."
80 you can't help stealing?" asked
the magistrate, kindly. mo, your
! hnuor an trnpuIap cannes over me- that