The National tribune., 1906-11-01
IlARK TWAIN As A SOLDIER.
Ee Served e South One Harmless BIoodess Campaign.

In the latter part of May, 1861, after
the Camp Jackson episode, the State OF
Missouri was n a turmoil; small bodies
of men had banded together thruou1
the State WI III the intention of joining
some the UA.on army, others the South
ern or Missouri State troops. Many o!
the Camp Jackson boys had, by under
ground abroad, left st. Louis by the
dark of the moon, and in almost every
group me or more of them could be
found. 1t was thought the troubles and
difficulties would blow over, possibly,
in two or three weeks. The excitement
finally reached Rails County, and a
who brigade" Of recruits had come
out one night, and was quartered at
Muck Matson's farm, two miles west OF
New London. This had caused quite a
sensation in the Southern cause, so ]
went over to Matson's to review the
troops there assembled on behalf Of the
South, and found the brigade" to con-
sist of 10 young men, all of the neigh
borhood, namely: Alb. Grimes, Charley
Miller, Jack Coiter, Tom Lyon, Ed.
Stephens. Sam Bowen and Sam Glenn
ems (Mark Twain) and a few others.
Tha brigade" was undetermined
whether 20 wait anJ annihillte Lyon
and his Federal army, then preparing
at st. Louis to invade the State, or some
other equally destructive move. In
preparation of whatever move should
be made it was thought necessary. pre-
paratory to bloody campaign, that the
hair of each should be cut off as close
as possible, SO as to allow the enemy
no advantage at close quarters. Tom
Lyon acted as barber, with a pair OF
sheep-hears, in order that any hairs
which escaped cutting should be pulled
out. This SO aroused my enthusiasm
that 1 concluded t. cast my otwith the
brigade" and to that end mounted the
vinegar keg set out under the trees and
submitted to Tom Lyon and his Sheep
shears, while the little niggers stood
around in open-eyed astonishment, and
being asked what they were laughing
at, said: You isn't got no moh hal
dan We is"
The Enemy Approaches.
After many delays, arranging and re-
arranging plans for a Summer cam
paign, news was received that the enc
my had landed at Hannibal, and were
marching in the direction of the camp.
The brigade" as yet unorganiZed. felt
that it might be hazardous to engage
the enemy at the time. Camp was
broken up, and movement to the rear
was made.
In the meantime, however, horses
Hdu Deen PROVIDED. II WOulu De OlIH-
cult to describe the appearance of the
brigade" when mounted, only that no
two soldiers looked alike in any re-
spect, except all rode astride. 1t is
nece SSary, however, to describe one
horse. and that was little yellow mule
about four feet high, frisky as a rabbit,
his tail on dead level, sheared tc
within six inches of the end, terminal
ing in large bunch of hair, resembling
painters only tool. Astride this mule
was Mark Twain, one valise, one car
pet-sack, one overcoat, one pair heavy
cowskin boots, one pair of gray blank
cts, one homemade quilt, one frying
pan, one old-fashioned Kentucky squir-
rel rifle, one umbrella and 20 yards of
sea-grass rope. This mule had been
given Mark Twain, and on account of
the close resemblance of the mules tail
to a paint brush Mark had christened
him Paint Brush.
We proceeded west, until late in the
evening, when we arrived at Col. Bill
Splawn's, where we took supper and
remained over night. Next day the
brigade" went over to old Col. John
Rails, who gave us quite a lecture on
the importance of our missile &C., and
then. after stating that he Is duly
appointed and authorized by q ~. Jack
son to recruit and swear in recruits for
the Southern army, We were all sw orn
III, ana iOr TIE IlTSl time DeSdH 10 real
iZe that somebody was going to get into
trouble. That afternoon we rode about
five miles in a northwest direction to a
place called Goodwin's Mill, located On
a branch of Salt River. There we found
another squad of men who had just or
ganiZed a company and called them-
selves the Salt River Tigers. Their
very appearance would have filled the
enemy with terror. An old blacksmith
had completed their outfit by furnishing
each man with a huge saber or knife
made from moving scythes sickle bars,
long files and goodness only knows what
else.
EIecting Officers.
While visiting this camp and seeing
the Tigers drawn up into line, answer
ing roll call, it occurred to some one of
the brigade" that we ought to have
some one to take command, give or
ders be able to make some kind of a
military appearance, and after making
few remarks it was moved and Sec
onded we elect officers, and as the "bri-
gade" did not have sufficient men to
elect all the Generals necessary, with
full quota of Colonels, Liutenant-Col-
oneIs, Majors. Chiefs, different staffs
Surgeons, Quartermasters. Commissar-
les, etc, We decided to commence and
elect only company officers, and if there
Were any left we could then commence
with them and fill the vacant Offices
before mentioned. beginning from the
Commissary and going up. as We would
be more likely to need the Commissary
officers first. The nominations for Cap
tain were VIM. Ely and Asa Glasscock
the former winning in a few "col6
: decks" and beating Glasscock. Then
GIasscock was unanim ously elected
First Lieutenant. Sam Bowen tthe man
whom Mark Twain refers to as Serg'i
Bowers) then nominated Sam Clemens
mark Twain) for Second Lieutenant
He was elected unanimously in few
seconds. Bowen was then made Ser
geant, and Tom Lyon Orderly-Sergeant
and Quartermaster. 1t was all the same
TO us. We didn't know the difference
Tom Lyon refused to act as Quarter