The San Francisco call., 1906-05-27

the home circle was known as Ma" was
a devotee of the Chautauqua Circle, and
she, too, had an ambition born of much
reading to pack up and go somewhere.
The family doctor said that visit to
some milder climate, far from the rigors
of northern winter, would be a positive
benefit to her.
So Mr.. and Mrs. Willoughby began to
study the atlas. One of the sons sug-
gested TO "Old Man" willc hby that he
could take a trip to an atti active south
ern country at the minimum expense by
securing appointment as consul. And
Of course, apart from the financial aGrc1-
tage, there would be the glory of rep
resenting a great nation and hosting the
flag over a benghted foreign population.
The suggestion appealed very strongly to
Mr.. Willoughby. He wrote to the Con-
gresham and the Senator and wantee
to know if there was a vacancy-salary
40 object-but he would like to go into
mild and equable climate where he
could pick cocoanuts.
His friends at Washington simply over
turned the State Department in their
eagerness to give him what he wanted.
They discovered that there was some
where on the map a city called Gallivan-
cia. IT was down by the southern sens
the abode of perpetual summer and al-
ready enjoying a preliminary boom as .
resort. The acting CONSUL had been q
British subject. The pay was so small
that no enterprising American wanted
the job. United States consul at CALI
vancia" reverberated pleasantly in the
imagination of Mr.. willoughby. He told
his friends at Washington to go after the
place, and in less than no time his daily
paper announced that he had accepted"
the appointment.
The politicians represented to the State
Department that Mr.. willoughby was a
sturdy patriot of unimpeachable character
and great ability-all of which was true.
They might have added that he would
as polar bear would be on Indias coral
strand.
The news of his appointment gave one
section of Michigan the trembles for sew
eral days. and the Willoughby family was
bathed in a new Importance. Mrs. Will
1 loughby was given a formal farewell by
] the ladies of the congregation assem-
beld in the church parlors. Mr.. Will
| loughby was presented with a jeweled
badge by the members of his lodge and
The band serenaded him the night before
he went away.
He and ma" stood on the back plat
form and gazed with misty eyes at the
futter of handkerchiefs on the station
platform until the train swung around
curve and they found themselves head
ID straight for Gailivancia and glory.
Both of them felt little heartachy and
dubious, but il was too late to back
out. At New York they boarded ship
and after several days of unailoyed
misery they landed at Gallivancia.
Now. Gallivancia is the make-believe
capital of a runt of an island having
no commercial or other Importance. No
matter where an island may be dropped
down, some nation must grab it and
hold it for fear some other nation will
take charge of ii and pay the expenses.
That is why Gallivancia had q governor
general and colonel in command, and
the Right Honorable Skipper of the gum
boat, and a judge and cluster of for
eign consuls. The men had a club at
which whisky and water could be OBJ
tanned, unless the bottle happened to be
empty. The women exchanged calls and
gave formal dinners and drove about in
rickety little victorias with terrified ma
tives in livery perched upon the box
The lines of social precedence were close
ly drawn. At a dinner party the wife
Of the governor preceded the wife of the
military commandant who in turn,
queened IL over the wife OF the gum
boat, who looked down upon the wife
of the magistrate, and so on The women
smoked cigarettes and gambled at bridge.
while every man who had won a medal
at shooting match pinned it on his
coat when he went to a ball 1t was a
third rate copy of court life. but these
small dignitaries wcht through the mo-
tons and got lot of fun out OF il in
one way and another. II we cannot af :.
ford a social position that is real ivory.
the next best thing is to get out one that
is celluloid 1t has all the intricate vices
OF a true nobility without the bona fide
titles to back them up and give the
glamo
Into this nest of pretenuous, ceremoni-