Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1906-09-14
I..H.hI.t-E-5.t.t-Etse 81 .5:I-9.a.a
DRIFTWOOD
individual Opinion.)
BY ICE r. VERNON.


There is no eating the nut for the
man who is too lazy to get through
the shell.
The majority Of young women's
hearts are like u street car-always
have room for one more.
While the Evergreen State" has
never been bothered with grasshoppers,
it has too many grafthoppers.
Mr.. Roosevelt is good hunter, but
he must remember that all trails, even
il blazed, don't lead to the White
House.
The long editorials lately appearing
in the P.-L. are no indication that the
one-time editor Pyle is to return to
that journal.
Considering the noise. on the back
fences at night. wonder where "dogs
OF war" originated. It would mean
more to say" cats of war;"
The world is full of people who be-
lieve that by giving away cold pota.
toes on Earth they lay up porterhouse
and mushrooms in Heaven.
Men nowadays do not need to know
how to make love. They leave all
that to the women. All man has to
do in these days is to know how to
make money.
A medical journal says if you have
the rheumatism, get the bees to sting
you. This is sure cure with no bill
to pay. Seems to me the cure is as
bad as the disease.
The Bon Marche, the large depart.
ment store in Seattle, has q "bus"
meet each train to convey, free of
charge, out-of.town shoppers who may
wish to "shop" ct that store.
A reform that would tickle the mar.
ried women would be that OF husbands
carrying the baby every fifth block,
when out walking, thus giving the
wife . respite Of several minutes.
"Why, what is the matter with the
baby, Hazel" asked visitor Of a lit
tie Olympia girl who was trying to
quiet the crying infant.
II don't know" replied Hazel, "but
I expects be needs tuning"
An exchange asks: "What has be.
come OF the old-fashioned woman who
said 40, now, you hush"
She has stepped aside to make room
for the fashionable woman who say,
"Skidoo! shut off your ho.-air flue."
Every time gaze upon the picture
OF U. s. Senator S. H. Piles, appearing
in . newspaper-and I have never yet
seen one wherein be is holding book
Il wonder what 10000 repertoire
dramatic company is headed this way.
"This is tough luck" said Ham,
mournfully, as he leaned out over the
side OF the ark.
"What's wrong now?" queried Shem.
"Why, all this water to fish in," re.
piled Ham, "and only two fishin'
worms on board"
A Tumwater girl who got in front
of q mirror and practiced and prac.
ticed until che bad acquired q sweet.
pathetic look in her eyes, kept it up
until one day, when her mother saw
the look and took her to doctor and
he gave her calomel.
Russell & Drew, managers of the
Third Avenue Theater-Seattles fam.
lily theater-are now conducting the
Seattle Theater, on the same plan
treating their patrons with the utm ost
civility and offering good attractions.
This is why they do such large bust.
ness.
The Baptist church OF Bowie, Texas,
has Withdrawn fellowship from several
members because they got "sanctified"
at q Holiness meeting held there.
This sounds funny to me. l had an
idea that the more holiness Q person
had the better church member he was
presumed to make.
when asked to plead guilty or not
guilty to the charge of keeping a vicious
dog, yesterday. @. II. Care declared his
dog was not vicious. He said it had
been brought up on the same bottle with
his son and that the dog had never hurt
the child. The judge set to. day for the
trial. ."-TacOma NeNs.
Can the father say as much for the
child as regard the dogf
Over in Paris, the other day, young
man who lost heavily at q gambling
game, instead OF shooting himself,
proceeded to shoot several of the
house attendants and the game-keeper.
This practice, if it becomes general,
will have moro to do with breaking up
gambling than anything else.
President Roosevelt, by his instruc.
tions to Charles A. Stillings, public
printer at Washington, gave many
paragraphers chance to show their
versatility to use words advocated by
the simplified spelling board. The
matter is having run equal to the
Age of Ann gag, which was such Q
winner some time ago.