davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04
GLOBE SIGHTS.


Wisdom is nothing but hfndsight.
Going home to dinner is the trouble
with many people; they eat too much.
". J. Bryan is not feeling any. better
today than real negro minstrel feels
every day.
How good things sound when women
talk about how they should be cooked
and served
We are willing to take good dry
hickory wood on subscription, but
Wen not take peaches.
When the stork visits a poor man
too frequently, he can't get any svrn-
pathy from any woman in the world
but his mother.
Girls talk OF their extensive voca bu-
larry, but we never knew one who had
more than three adjectives: Grand
horrid and cute
The fashions which women follow
may be tyrannical but a woman doesn' t
have any garment that is as great a
tyrant as the coat.
Several months ago a man hired a
certain lawyer. The lawyer quarreled
with his client, and today the man said
He amt no lawyer"
Somehow when trunk goes to the
depot strapped to the back of a farm
er's wagon 1t means a trip of greater
Importance than IL it arrived in q bag
gage wagon.
There are fewer dead beats than
formerly. In order to get along. a man
must pay his debts. Dead beats have
been punished so much that they are
beginning to take the hint.
Every hour in the day, a newsnanar
reporter meets people with something
to suggest; something that should be
done. Somebody should attend to
this" they say. True; but who?
You often hear of a bolt descend
ing out Of a clear sky Such q thing
never happened. There is warnfnT
before every storm; talk before everv
scandal, and suspicion before every
failure.
The men are invited to meet at thai
corner of Fifth and Commercial mis-
evening and join a mob to break DON
aids east window. There Is a stockinr
display in that window that is shockin1
men today
Visitors coming to Atchsson fror,
the east are requested to bring Their
bathing suits with them True thera
is nc bathing here. but a garment ffaf
is put on for the purpose Of getting Il
wet is convenient to wear in eatinr
watermelons.
An Atchison woman who has bean
tiful home, and is very particular. has
always hated dogs. Lately strav 5o-
began loeing around her home and
gradually won her over Now he rms
all over the house and almost owns 45s
place.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

Andrew Carnegie once delivered a
little homily to the pupils of a public
school in Washington, wherein he en-
deavored to demonstrate that the
judgment of men is apt to be warped
by sentiment and feeling.
In Scotland" asserted Mr.. Car
negie. s'the people abominated hymns
simply because the Episcopalans used
them. The Presbyterians sang only
the Psalms of David The Episcopal
ians used stained glass in their church
windows and for that reason the
Scotch looked upon stained glass as
something of unholy origin"
Continuing. Mr.. Carnegie told a
story of a Presbyterian minister who
had been bold enough to introduce
this hated innovation. He was show
ing it in triumph to one of his parish
toner's. and asked her how she liked it.
GAY, it is handsome" said she, sad
". "but I prefer the gless jist as God
made itln-Harper.s weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04
JOURNAL ENTRIES

If the president had included Marias
des Cygnes in the list of words that
he reformed this department might
have been for it.
Thus far 81 --latest photographs Of
W. J. Bryan have been published. Mr.
Bryan is running close second to
Evelyn Thaw in the matter of having
--latest photogra phs."
X
This department is greatly surprised
to see that the troubles in Russia con-
tinue since ". Y Morgan was over
there. Kansas confidently expected Mr.
Morgan to straighten out all difficult
ties.
X
Another important question that
ought to be settled is whether or not
John Brown wore whiskers Why not
include this among the Stubs questions
that candidates must answer?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

One Of the state legislators entered al
Albany restaurant last evening and CT
dered a porterhouse steak When the
portion arrived it did not quite appeal
to him as being sufficiently cooked. He
called the waiter.
.sWould you kindly take this back 10
the cook and tell him to br5il it a little
@sure.' replied he Of the white coat.
This is how the polite request was
handed back to the cook:
sSay. Bill that fat guy backed away
from this piece Of horse He wants a
little more fire on it, or it's all Up with
YOU and your little pots. Get a move
on or you'll have him butting in here
and calling you by your real name.
See albany Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04
safety Matches on Class.

He looked at his cigarette bitterly.
Here have a lot of SAFETY
Matches he said. ''and no box. They
only strike on the box, you know. So
I guess I won't smoke"
But the young college girl. smiling.
took one of the safety matches from
him and drew It across the window
pane. It struck easily, and. as she
held it to his cigarette, she said:
safety matches will always strike
on glass me reason Is that glass
being smooth the match can be drawn
across It quickly enough to set up the
necessary friction. To draw il SO
quickly across any other Substances
would break It's head of. cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

There's no one so maddening as Dolly,
She half drives me crazy my word
rms morning we sat for an hour,
And really you know, twas absurd
The way she kept kissing that Danny!
L froWned. but she still kept It up.
1 whistled, and spoke of the weather;
She smiled and again kissed the pup.
I've oft laughed at reincarnation
As jolly good rot. don't you know;
A sort of Grimm Brothers creation,
A fairy-tale tedious and slow.
But now, after hours of bordering,
4 he most pleasing picture I hug
lis when next TO this world I come wan
dering.
lll find myself Dorothy's pug.
w. Carey Wonderly in The Bohemian.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04
When Neiehbors Wee.

At certain Denver hotel lives a
very charming little widow who has
many masculine admirers. The other
day she was asked by one of them to
go out in the afternoon and play ten
MS. At the courts she met a man who
struck her fancy. So, between SETS
she and the new man would sit on the
grass and talk It was during one of
these intermissions that he said: by
the way, Mrs. Blank, may ask where
you lsve?
ITO be sure she replied. Il live at
the such and such hotel"
That's queer he said. Il have a
room there, too. However, I've had it
only week. I'm thinking of chang
ing. There is q woman in the next
room to mine who comes in every
night about IL o'clock and wakes me
up with her noise. If they don't Gust
her I'm going"
7 don't blame you" said the little
widow Il know just how you feel
There's man in the next room to
mine who comes home full almost
every night and knocks the furniture
around. I'm going to make a COM
plant about him if he doesn't reform .
After the games had been played the
new young man walked down to the
hotel with her and her escort. They
went for their keys together. The
clerk handed them 202 and 204 Their
rooms were adjoining.@Denver Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04
Civic Pride Indeed.

"Cfvic pride,' said Lincoln Steffens,
the noted reform writer, lis all very
well in its way. Humility. though and
discomfort usually lead to better
things than pride and complacency do,
and whenever hear any man boast
ing overmuch about his city's excel
lence think of the civic pride of an
old resident of PEBBLES.
ITO this old man, who regarded
PEBBLES as a finer town than Paris. a
copy of Shakespeare works was
once loaned. The old man read the
immortal plays for the first time He
enjoyed them nightly. and, on being
asked what he thought of them, he
slapped his knee and said in a loud,
enthusiastic voice:
$ They're fine. They're glorious.
They far surpassed all my expecta-
lions Why, sir, there are not twenty
men in PEBBLES who could have writ
ten those plays. Los Angeles
Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

ana the problem had not yet been
solved when the telephone rang and
Miss Bessie was called by a servant
1t was the same voice as on the pre-
vious evening. only there was an ag-
grieved tone to It.
Well, what is it2''
81 found the side door unlocked
Yes
Il found the bonds on the library
table,
Yes
Il have tumbled to your little Joke. ;"
t'Yes?"
and if commit murder while
cracking my next crib you may know
that you drove me to it. Goodby!'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

They took him to the santtaEturn
nine he whispered.
What does he mean By that2'' the at
IT'S the number of buttons on the back
of his Wffe's new frock, the family doc
tor xplained.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
..Yaas.' suddenly declared choiIy Brans-
liss, Tn going TO work. I've made up
You have?.' exclaimed Miss Peppery-
N.Y. what a delicate operation! Cath
ole Standard and Times
I'll never ask Jones to go fishing with
me again. he's too much Of an amateur
why / told him to be sure and bring
plenty Of fsh-bait, anad what dc you sup
pose he did bring? Brought bait. -
American Spectator
1T just flashed on me who that young
man was that spoke to me Just now
:. I forgot his name; but LIZ, vas sngasssa
the seashore. 'MBaitimore American.
How are your United states senator's
by unpopular vote replied the native
who had gone to the bottom of things in
his own country.-Cleveland Press.
Yes said Mr. vane, Il admit I'm
somewhat conceited. It's a bad fault"
but it also indicates very bad e.
Philadelphia Press.
II never was SO happy before" said the
new benedict. Marriage has made new
man of me-
I'm glad to hear it," said his rival.
for your wife's sake. -Phfladelphia
Press.
Church--Every chance he gets our min
lster breaches that it is more blessed to
give than receive"
Wise-well that would seem to indicate
that he thoroughly believes 1t.
Church-Or that he wants US to believe
it--PhiladeIphia Press.
IT thought you were thinking seriously
about getting married"
Then why didn't your"
That's why''-cieveiand Leader
yeast-I was talking to your wife to-
characterization did that happen?
Yeast-How did what happen?
Crinsonbeak-That you were doing the
talking -Yonkers Statesman.
=. MY husband and had an awful quar-
How sad What was it about?"
4 found letter in his pocket written
by woman
Mercy I don't wonder you were an
II should say so. It was one I'd given
him to mail a week ago.,-Cleveland
What is the peek-a-boo waist any
how? asks the editor of the Portsmouth
The peek-a-boo you angelic innocent
Is garment a considerable portion Of
which isn't. San Antonio Express. =.
laxative Barber-shan I take a little
Irascible Customer-By no means take
II out of the midd1e.-American Spectator
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04
THE coMMoN SCHOOL.

In higher education England is GER
tainly the equal if not the superior of
this country, bat the benefits of that
education are necessarily limited, and
limited. by the way, to those who have
no pressing need for it. In the matter
of common schools, however, we have
done for our people what no country in
Europe has yet attempted. The results
have naturally been an industrial and
commercial forwardness that has made
US sometimes the admiration and some
times the envy of the English.-St.
Louis Republic
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

years fearful of a stroke OF paralysis.
seated at the right OF Countess T
at a brilliant banquet, he startled the
guests by arising and remarking.
stBrethren. It has come at last-that
which I have feared for 40 years. a
stroke OF paralysis. have been pinch
ing my knee for the last 20 minutes and
can't fHd the least sensation thsrc."
.tPardon me- said the countess but
II was my knee that you were pinch
ing.'-RoRton Transcript
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

Uncle YIN" Hill says that in TWEEN
Ry years we will have fifty millions ad-
lditionaI population in this country.
sAnd Uncle Vim" is usually pretty cor
rect in his counting.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04
Force of Habit.

No self-respec actor will admit
that his show is not drawing full
houses every night. One of the pro-
fession who plays juvenile parts re-
Gently met a leading man on the
Rialto- The leading man was dressed
in deep black. There was a wide band
Of Grape on his hat, and he had dis
carded the patent leather shoes an
actor loves for others of subdued
polish that spoke of grief.
What's the natter" asked the ju-
veniie-
MY father is dead answered the
leading man. in heartbroken voice
The juvenile expressed his sym
pathy. When did he dep he asked
Last week. We buried him today
"a nice funeral" answered the heart
broken one.
Large attendance" asked the jul
venile.
A smile of enthusiastic delight
flashed over the mourner's face.
Large attendancel" he cried MY
boy, we turned 'em away. It'd Bits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

Among other words Mr. Roosevelt
proposes to change the spelling Of
fidemagogue" And yet a demogogue
will be the same sort of a critter, no
matter how he is spelled
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

tends that the legislative district shall
be the unit for voting purposes and not
the individual voter. SO it would seem
that The former method is the one that
would carry out the purposes Of the
constitution, but it IS an open ques-
ton.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

w. d. Greason says the Democratic
nomination for United States senator
in Kansas is equivalent to a bung hole
without any barrel around ia some
what expressive definition.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

If that proposition to cut the letter
F'C' out Of the alphabet along with
90" and OK should prevail, it would
he a trihe hard on the Kansas attorney
general. Think of having all of ones
initials obliterated at one. fell swoopI
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

The Kingman Journal man. who
evidently speaks from experience,
says. In q quarrel. a girl always holds
in reserve two mean arguments of
which she sometimes takes a mean ad-
vantage. Both are unanswerable. one
Is a kiss. the other a tear"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

If this story that the Standard OIL
company has bought all the distineries
sE true. 1t looks as though the Standard
intends to denaturize that free alcohol
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04
A Puro Food Pointer.

I'm these days Of fake" said
chemist, when your ported ham is
made of grain, and your fresh meat is
saturated with borax and saltpetre.
and your lemonade is citric acid. and
your honey is diluted saceharine-in
these dark days, let me light for you
one little beacon. Let me by telling
you how you may certainly distin-
guish cleo from butter guide you just
a step upon your perilous way
TO tell oleo from butter take a
half dozen pieces from a spool of cot
ton--a spool Of ordinary sewing cot
ton--twist them into a little wick, run
this wick through your suspected sub
stance, then light it, and, a moment
later. blow it out again.
Now smell your charred cotton
wick. If it has the unpleasant and
unmistakable smell of a tallow can
die that has just been extinguished
be sure that you have been spreading
your bread with cleo.
"If it has no smell whatever. it is
butter that you have been eating.
after all. "-Exchange
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

A bacteriologist in Boston says
paralysis is caused by germs. What a
! lot of those germs there must be in a
few drinks OF joint liquids. inasmuch
as they will make the drinker par
alyzed1 in short order!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

The Texas penitentiary contains al
most 1000 convicts. yet it is so we'll
managed that profitable employment
is found for the prisoners and the in
Btitution is made self sustaining. 1t
does not cost the state a cent to main
tain It and it may turn a surplus into
the state treasury this year.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

When Uncle Joe Cannon declared
1--WE shall uphold American labor the
Houston Post thinks he really meant
that we will hold UP the American
l-r,4 s4,7-,sr
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

If the president will only simplify
the spelling Of some of these foreign
names that come over the wire from
foreign lands. the printers and proof
readers will readily approve of it
and what they say goes
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

1t is no great surprise to learn that
Stensland, the bank wrecker, was
caught by a Kansas man. Kansas had
10 make connections somewhere even
if it was in far-or Morocco.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

Charlie Blakesley comes forward
with the suggestion that the defauIting
county treasurer OF Cloud county was
Wade in the balance and found want
dng. Which is correct. He was found
wanting about $4,000.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

j. K. Codding, attorney for the
State Temp Union, is behind that
movement to close the joints in Dick
inson county. but the jointists are
afraid he isn't codding at all but is in
40 --srt
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

The spelling reform fad of the presi-
dent doesn't look like a square deal for
people who have put in forty years
learning to spell the way the words are
NOW and who have no time to learn it
al over again some other wav.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

Alton 3. Parker was unanimously
elected president Of the American Bar
association last week. The members of
the A. B. A. appear 10 be different
from the people Of the United states.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04
AN ACT OF KINDNESS.

Little acts of thOughtfulness cost so
little and mean so much. The writer
once witnessed a demonstration which
was touching and beautiful In the
upper waiting room of the union depot
at Kansas City, a tired, bedraggled
mother of several small children, in
Guiding a wailing baby of five or six
months, was fuulely endeavoring to
quiet and entertain them. A woman,
simply but richly dressed. of a class
obviously several degrees removed
from the mother. with a beautiful face
and commanding figure, left her seat,
and approached the dissa tisfed little
group. From her satchel she pro-
duced a veritable fairy land for those
children There were games books
and toys, there were blunt scissors and
pictures to cut out-and even the
baby was entertained by some tiny
sugar pills. which she explained to the
mother were unmedicated, and in try
ing to pick them up. and convey them
to his mouth. the baby found occupa-
ton, and the peace of mind which goes
with it. Later, in the conversation
with the writer, this most charming
woman modestly admitted that she
never Travelled without a satchel full Of
things with which to amuse and enter
tain children, as since in her early life
she had lost the one child she had
ever possessed. and all children appeal
ed to her. She certainly had the king
dom of heaven in her own heart, and
so much sunshine that it simply had to
reach out and touch all with whom she
came in contact.@Holton Signal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

stensland IS caught. Traced half
way around the world. the officers of
the law suddenly pounced upon
him, and now he must return
and face the legal penalties for
his great crimes. And there will be
little sympathy for him, for his looting
Of the Milwaukee Avenue bank in Chi
cago was entirely too deliberate and
premeditated to allow Of any defense.
HIS was. evidently not q case where he
got in a close place financially and took
small amount. under great tempta-
ton to tide him over the difficulty. It
was deliberate bank-Wrecking on a
laree acala.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report Of that great news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news Is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
nose
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

When the presidents message is
printed in the Congressional Record
next winter, which will prevail: the
presidents new fashioned spelling or
the old variety that is used by con-
press7
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

Nothing is more certain than the en-
actment of a 2-cent-a-mile limit by the
next legislature. All parties are pledged
to It in their platforms and the can
didates of the several parties stand I'M
reservedly on those platforns.-Phila-
delphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04
XMAS COMAENT


Speaking of the devil=we once
heard a politician try to justify his
practice with the remark that you
must fight the devil with fire" An old
colored preacher said, s'Scuse me.
boss. but I knows berry we'll dat I
wouldn't hab no show tai wild dat OF
Teller less'n I had de choice of weepins.
an I is jes' nachelly like Massa David
WIZ when Oh Collar dared i'm to fight
wild i'm Massa Saul says 'Heah, boy,
dress yo'se'f up in chain coat an take
my swo'd an put de fxin's to dat big
buffer No. sah,' says Massa Dave,
1 eaynt war dem buds, deys too big
cayn't do muffin wild dat sword, kase
I nebber larned to use it. No. sab, a
few lii rocks is all I wants. III feed
his cyarkus to de beases of de ar an
de fowls oh de f1eI' an he done it. or
Collar didn't git de choice OBJ weepins
and I ain gwine to glib Mr.. Debble no
SIGH advantage ober me as to try
hghtin i'm wild fab. No. sah." And
it strikes US that our colored brother
was Minneapolis Better Way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04
Now wIll the ZOO trust be good?

we are still in the dark as to Mr..
Organs attitude on denatured spelling.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-09-04

It is still hard to understand why
Banker Stensland didn't take it all
Chicago Tribune