Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-06-17

Uncle George Explains the National
Pastlms Hazing.

evening Blatherskite. what Is haz
me-"
An. my dear nephew" cried Uncle
George. with genuine delight. upsetting
The inkwsll over his new lavender
trousers. which he was wearing Tor the
lirst time. "hazing Is the great national
pastime. without which our sad lives
wOuld be- a dreary waste Had We no
hazing { fear greatly that there would
Do little 10 relieve the duh mono'ony
pf our money grutb,ns existence I
regret 10 see that the vile press Il at
lacking this noble pastims In scan
ialOusly vicious manner This Is To be
4 regretted. In fact I may call &. de-
plorable lack OF taste Pray. my dear
boy. how are We 20 educate young men
80 navigate our ships II We omit this
}pmportant item from the curriculum?
\ Things have come TO a pretty pass la
fieed II our potential national heroes
D nre 10 be- brought up % have a care
FOR the we<are OF Others. I view with
alarm. Oily. this growing prejudice
against hazing Besides. my dear boy.
and will whisper this softly. IL Is all
\ buncombe What Is the loss % one or
,So lives compared with the enjoy
ment OF hundreds Fudge upon lch
fickly sentimentallty. say 1"
But had not these unfortunate
youths mothers and fathers. dear un-
cls'" asked little Duly
Possibly. possibly. Oily. but fail
20 see what that has % do with II. a
mother should be- glad % offer up her
pnly son 20 the nation What il his
goints are twisted out u shape. his
bardiac appendage somewhat bent. ani
lis delicate neck broken. while his
/ features are unrecOgnizable7 q Is
mere bagatelle As 10 hazing. Oily
our whole national existence Is one
grand hazlng SIR Rockefeller. Mr
Morgan. Mr Hill aud tnoss other great
and good philanthr1pip,s. not Forgetting
Russell Sage. are wildly enthusiastic
advocates 81 hazinE Possibly they DO
mot follow the strict rules Of the game.
bat they haze. deyoiedly and oontin-
tNNANN ~ WMNANM W. NNf NANnl ANft
|of hazlng II Is not 50 long ago since
I'VE hazed Spain. later we threw the
boots into Venezuela. a. present W.
SIRE trying for strangle hold on Mo
rocco. and We would dearly love %
|Ihake Turkey eat delicate dish Of
Indeed you interest me. dear uncle" .
paid little Duly Are there other ex-
hmples. too"
Many. my boy replied Uncle
|Deorfe. There Is a concerted attempt
upon the part of the country az large
- make senators Depcw and Plat
Salk down a slitery plank with bare
feet and their corns sticking out II
d a sad spectacle DilIy. sad spec
tacle Just because these two poor
llluful old parties were caught climb
bug over a transom with a gunny slck
fall OF swag. there Is a disposition %
make them hazees. ! regret more than
D can say that things have reached this
stage would like % see them be-
permitted 20 rest 40 ease and spend
their remaining years IN the quiet and
seclusion 90 a-iail. but We must not
hope for too much Just no present
ihrre seemA little likelihood 0f such a
contretempf owing 10 some unfore-
seen niger in the woodpile who has
roaped the tracks OF the judiciary ex-
press. bat have hope. Oily. ! have
great hope There is nothing like haz-
INK. in my opinion. Nothing like g."
what Is the exact meaning Of the
term. uncle7" asked Dilly
II Is somewhat obscure" replied
Uncle George In the original con-
cepilon 10 was. M doubt. intended 10
h4rl the victim into a mental haze
from which be- recovered but slowly
Ia the earlier days OF hazlng. O. was
considered the height Of humor 20 take
b young mans belongings and mislay
them This palIcd after awhile. and
now humor does not appear until after
the victim Is dead. and through some
indicate reason ~ his own. be re-
fuses "a see the hilarity % u all
will not rest content. Oily. until some !,
II the young men az Annapolis soak
ne garments Of fellow cadet In
kerosene and use him for pinnacle I,
lght. think that wound be- scream
ngly funny. One can almost imagine
he conversation that takes place when !
new cadet. shows up Cadet No.
,athers aboS him choice collection of
iralnless young asses who have Uore
line than Is good for them. and Sho r
ire being taken care u al the expense )
u the government In a manner that a
heir fondest dreams never realized. {
md says. D
There's a new gazabo !
Let's haze him. reply The Others. I
what would be good inquiries
So. 1
We might hang him up by the
humbs until he faints.' mildly sug- a
cats younger member OF the class 10
Soy shrek the Others and drive a