davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Among other things, this department.
would like to know where those who
are involved in that Pittsburg divorcs
case were, when the better class OF
names were handed out. Think of hav-
ing to put up with Hartje and Hooe!
Topeka looks much better up at the
top of the Western Association, thank
you-if it viii just stay there. q
1t is our observation that two-thirds
of a womans time at this season Of the
year is spent in telling the children to
close the screen
X
Il can stand most people" said Dea-
con Twogood today. but these fellows
who act as though they could give the
Lord advice about running the universe
are simply beyond the limit"
Frank FARRELL tries to start trouble BY
suggesting in the Holton Signal that
the sermons which appear from week
to week in these columns ought to ha
printed in a book. and Jake MohIer at
tempts to aggravate the matter by SUD-
scribing for a copy in advance The
author of those sermons has always
considered Mr.. farrell and Mr.. Mohler
as his friends, but after careful cor
sideratfon of Job 31:35, this action on
their part forces him to be doubtful
about At
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
GLOBE SIGHTS.



Put a hog in a parlor, and he would
break out and walloW in 4 mud hole.
1t looks as though all men ought to
be hanged without waiting for any evil
dence
A candidate will laugh as hard at
any old joke as a woman Will at her
preachers jokes
offend a man from pure viciousness,
and he will LAY" for you for years,
and get even.
Kin is divided into two parts: The
part that is imposed upon and the part
that does the imposing.
If you are a farmer, and have raised
20 bushels of wheat per acre, il will
be pretty hard for you to believe that
another farmer raised 40 bushels.
A careful perusal Of the etiquette on
rubbering will show that everybody in
the world has a right to rubber except
the woman who has something on the
stove cooking.
A fly doesn't live over a month and
he doesn't waste any time in the coun
try, where people are scarce; he makes
for a town where there are plenty Of
people to bother.
We don't want to make it harder for
them, but a mother should never let
her children see her cry, or show cow
ardice. There are certain qualities that
are fine to remember in connection
with a mother, and courage is one OF
the greatest.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
N THE DARK

There no such thing as ghosts an spooks;
Ny father says you ind 'em
In. foolish tales that's wrote in books
An that needn't mind EN-
bet you that my fathers right,
But when go to bed
hate to have EN- take the light;
want it left instead.
There amt no ghosts ner spooks, know.
The dark went hurt a felIer,
But doggone # / ike to 60
Alone down IN the cellar.
amt a skeered-I needn't be
If I do nothin wrong,
But somehow 1t seems good to me
If some one comes along.
don't believe in spooks ner ghosts.
When people gets to guyin',
They tell about 'em, but the most's
Jest nothin' more than lYin'.
Ny father laffs an says that he'd
Soon make q goblun dance.
Ne, too. But still there amt no need
Of givin' them a chance
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
QUAKER REFLECTIONS

From the Philadelphia Record.I
The secret of happiness is to let the
other fellow do the worrying.
It's the fellow who Is in the wrong
that generally wants to fight.
The difference between right and
wrong depends largely upon your law
yer.
Many a girl would go through fire
and water for a man, or even through
his bank account.
In religion, as well as in medicine.
there seems to be a tendency toward
homeopathic doctrine
The gluttcN Is always thinking Of
what he is going to eat, the dyspepic
of what he has just eaten.
Some callow youths would wear auto
goggles If they thought It would give
the impression Of being fast.
A woman's idea Of economy Is to fix
over q ten dollar hat for fifteen dollars
so 1t viii look as good as new.
Wigg-'sWhat sort Of money Is ii
that makes the mare got" Wagg-
1.-THE kind that is invested in wild oats.
1 imagine"
Tommy-'Pop. what is an optiu-
ist?' Tommy's Pop-'sAn optimiss,
my son, is a man who not only hopes
for the best. but actually expects it,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
.LAYHA WKER JOTS

Bent Murdoch. who ought to know,
saws the Wichita Eagle is figuring on
building a six-story nest for itself.
The Pratt Republican man has heard
so much about these peekaboo waists
that he would like to see one in active
operation.
There are 80 blind people in Wichita.
Mrs. J. B. Moore. Of E1Dorado, ran a
needle in the palm of her hand and it
came out at the back of her wrist.
A Frontenac girl cannot teach school
this year because she was honest
enough to tell how old she was, and
she isn't old enough to get a certifi-
cate
Carpet heaters demand 35 cents an
hour in ConcOrdia, which the Blade
thinks is rather high for unskiIled labor.
OF course it is. Why not let Mrs Blade
do the work?
The bright side as seen by the Wash
fngton Register: Topeka has this ad-
vantage over the other towns,-on &C
count of the holes in the pavement she
doesn't have to keep any police force
to enforce the anti-speed ordinance.
Pfeplant story from Pratt: DR.. Frank
Peak came up town last Saturday ev-
ening with some big stalks Of pieplant
which grew in his garden that are SIM
ply wonderful The leaves on each
stalk were a yard across, the stalks
were at least three feet high and each
stalk was sufficient to make a dozen
pies.
"A couple of years ago." says Bert
Walker "Old Bill ShiftIess got an in
dustriOus streak on and concluded that
the weeds in the orchard should be cut.
He went out to the granary and got
the old scythe. It needed new blade,
so Bill went to town and got one. He
came back and spent about ten min
uteS Staying weeds and was then taken
with pain In his back and had to quit.
He hung the scythe up over the limb
Of an apple tree. That afternoon sill
rode horseback over south seven miles
to a ball game. The scythe is still hang
ing on that same limb in the orchard"
Observations BY Bent Murdoch. Ed
itor Howe has been telling as in his
Atchison Globe, for years, about his
farm and what wonderful things he is
going to do when he gets to sod-bust-
Ing The fact IS he has an hundred
acre farm two miles south of Atchfson,
near the old town of Sumner. It is on
the blur overlooking the Missouri river
and IS said to be the most beautiful
place in all that region He has or
chards and trees and the finest spring
a gusher-in the country, and is build
ing q modern home on the place. His
two boys are coming home to stay
possibly the princess IS also coming-so
Mr. Howe expects to get down to the
ing home at 3. He has TO boss Arcadia,
you know, while the boyszt1ey are
mighty fine boys-wfu rustic the Globe
stories. And then we suppose We are
to have Smiths Quarterly. The Atchi-
son Globe IS the second best newspaper
plant in the state, and everybody will
be glad to know that It's main push
who has been a hard worker ali these
years. Is fxed SO he can have things
aeWE as he FvautN them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IRON the Chicago News.1

From the chicago NeWs-1
Love makes the parlor dark and the
heart light
The older a man becomes the fewer
fool friends he has.
Don't expect an umbrella mender to
recover your lost umbrella.
Some people pray as if they thought
the Lord needed their advice.
Any man who initiates others admits
that he isn't an original success.
Many a woman who doesn't know her
own mind gives her husband a piece of
It.
OF making books there Is no end
otherwise there would be fewer race
tracks.
Did you ever see free show that
didn't have some kind of collection at
tached to it,
Speaking of women, attractive simple
tons are more popular with men than
intellectual bores.
The man who contends that the world
IS growing worse always goes about
armed with a muck rake.
It's easy to name the winner of an
argument in which mans words are
pitted against a woman's tears.
A word to the wise is said to be suf-
fcier1t- Did you ever notice how many
words people use in giving you advice?
Some Of our neighbors are permitted
to live because It takes all kinds IF
people to make a world. That's the
answer.
Rather than make an effort to reach
the top some men prefer to remain at
the bottom for the purpose Of helping
pull others down.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
ERON OTHER PENS

SAN FRANCISCO AND SALOONS.
A San Francisco correspondent of
the Portland Oregonian reports a re-
markable drift away from the liquor
habit in the California city. With
some prescience this writer expresses
the belief that the old dependence on
saloons will reassert itself, but he de-
clares that during the three months in
which the sale of intoxicants was for
hidden it was proven beyond the
slightest possibility Of doubt that
large city like San Francisco can thrive
without the liquor traffic" OF equal
interest with this conclusion is the
statement of the effects of the closing
of the saloons 1.-The freedom from
crime has been a source of gratifiea-
ton to the municipal authorities. Vice
in all of its manifold forms was almost
entirely eliminated Kansas City
Star
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
FULL T,EAsF.D WIRE REPORT
GEN TIE ASSOCIATED PRESS
HOME NEWS WHILE away.

Subscribers OF the state journal
away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
20 any address at tsse rate OF ten cents
e week or thirty cents q month (by
zna1 only. Address changed as often
as desired. While out of town the
state Journal will be to you like a
daily letter from home.
Advance payment IS requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
Bookkeeping expense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
REFLECTIONS o. a BACHE1.oR

IFrom the New York Press
Candy catches more girls than
poetry.
A man could be very fond Of his sis
ter If she were somebody else's
It takes a widow an awful long time
to learn what she knew before her
husband died.
You viii always md that when a
girl VIII admit her shoe pinches her
It's over the instep.
If a woman can't think OF anything
else to be miserable about she viii 70
away. from home 50 as to WORRY over
the Children
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
Charged by a NIountain Goat.

when finally Mack crawled out of
his trouble we went over and looked
at the goat I took q picture of 1t
from the slide, then leaving Mack in the
slide with my gun, I worked my way
with the cameras out upon the ridge
and finally secured a position above the
goat.
about is inches wide, backed against a
slight projection on the face of the
cliff, which cut the ledge off. The ledge
raised at rather a steep incline for
about 20 feet up to the level on which
/ stood The goat was about eight feet
below me. while below him was sheer
drop of $50 feet or more, down to the
slide rock.
He was very large goat weighing,
I should say, fully 300 pounds. He had
magnificent pair of horns, full ten
inches long. I was surprised to note
that he did not show the least sign of
panic, or even fear He looked up at
me quite calmly. and then, ignoring me
entirely, solemnly and serenely gazed
out over the crags below.
After few trials from above I found
it impossible to get a good picture OF
him without getting much nearer; so L
yelled down to Mack: I'm going down
to him. If he charges me you must
kill him in a hurry
Setting the focus of my stereo-
camera for six feet, and placing the
bulb in my mouth. 1 gradually worked
my way down the ledge, carrying my
camera in one hand and holding to the
wall with the other. When 1 was
within about IL feet of the goat Mack
yelled to me: Look out, tharl He's
arisin his TAIL like a buffalo BULL He's
goin' to knock you Off
Mack was raised in Texas, with the
buffalo, and diagnosed the case correct
". The very next instant, so it seemed
to me- the goat came at me head and
tail up, ears dropped forward, and eyes
blazing green. He came with a bOunc-
ing. rush, hammering the stones with
his front feet so that the loose ones
flew like broken Jew. T. Hornaday
and John NJ. Phillips. in Scribner-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
11le AdvIce of Exnerience.

It has sometimes been remarked by
the student chiIdlife that the only child
learns to read sooner than than the
child belonging to a large family. There
may or may not be psychological rea-
sons for this, but the story of the small
boy of five, who was struggling with
his alphabet blocks for the first time.
may be enlfghtening to those who wish
for reasons. The small boy was really
rather interested than otherwise in a
large A that fulfilled its usual function
of standing for an apple tree; but he
had a brother who was nearly eight.
you leave EN- alone" advised the
brother; "if you once begin to read you
can never leave off London Chronicle
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

The more deeply you study 1t the more
convinced you must become that Eng
fish is a queer language. No wonder
foreigners find it puzzling. A French
man was boasting that he had thorough
~ mastered the English language, when
he was asked to write from dictation
the following specimen Of our choice &c
centric vernacular:
AS Hugh Hughes was hewing a Yule
log from a yew tree, a man dressed in
garments of a dark hue came up to
Hugh and said: Have you seen my
ewes To which he replied: If you will
wait until I hew this yew 1 will go with
you to look for your ewes %
After an attempt the F'renchman adj
mitted his mistake. He used to imagine
he was used to English speaking, but
he would be more careful how he used
the language in future.-Tit-Bits
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

floats away in the food. The hog dies
from cholera and the beef trus.
squeeze the profit out Of the steers,
but the old COW quietly pIods along
always faithful. always doing a big
share to make the farm pay.''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
A KNOCK ON TRICKETT

We may be wrong, but we can't help
feeling that that man Trickett who is
at present raising Old Ned with the
jointists of Kansas City, Kansas, will
turn out to be bad in the end. Trickett
allows himself to. be interviewed too
much and has a weakness for bcasting
But if nothing else is accomplished, it
will be great thing for Trickett.-Os-
borne Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

Chairman Crummer's prediction that
the Republican state ticket will be
elected by $4,000 majority, calls forth
protest from the Gaylord Sentinel, and
81 demands that he be retired at once.
1.-THE chairman draws pretty good pay"
says the Sentinel, land If he is not cap
able of seeing at least 100000 majority
be is not earning his salaryl,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

There is a move on foot in Mexico
10 abolish bull fighting. by prohibit
Ing it by law. but there is little hope
os the success Of the endeavor at pres
ent. Perhaps, however, Mexico will
succeed in that as quickly as the
United States succeeds in reforming
football. Mexico might try denatured
bun lighting, or making it safe and
49,,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

Now that Representative Robert
stone has been admitted to full mem
bership in the Brotherhood Of Railroad
Pass Fighters. and has been given the
grip and password Of the Knights Of
the Two Cent Fare. 1t would be inter
esf1ng to have him speak UP and tell
gust why he took such an active part
IN killing the PTingle anti-pass and
two-eent fare bill in the last legisla-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

It is reported that J. Pierpont Nor
gan and W. j. Bryan met in London
the other day and the trust magnate
remarked thatIhe thought ne had heard
the name somewhere before. Surely
ne could easily remember the name Of
q man towards whose defeat for presi-
dent he contributed q huge campaign
eIl1sh fupd.-Birmingha News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

IF the old parties have stolen the
Populfsts' principles says the Kansas
City Star, why don't the protesting
Populists go with their principles in
stead of the obsolete party organiza-
4ion?" Which is just what most of
khem have done.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

Beware of the woman who success
fully keeps a diary. A Chicago man
has to pay alimony now because his
wife produced in court a diary showing
the date. the hour. and the circum-
stances of each time her husband beat
T7r~
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

Anyway, Kansas school teachers will
probably know about the Andover
Band in the future Now that the an
swer has been discovered, all the coun-
try papers are printing it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

The Arkansas City Traveller is very
bitter against Congressman Campbell
On account Of the local postof1ce fight
down there-but it's a long time till
election. and the weather will be cooler
BY November.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

Among the other things the Repub-
Ilcans might do to help along the
Democrats would be to try to keep
Colonel Harris name OF the official
ballot. AS a rule the Republicans de-
pend upon the Democrats to make
most of the FOOL breaks"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

Taft thinks the solid south ought to
be broken up, and 50 he went down
and stood for some time in one place in
North Carolina. It would look as
though Taft's weight would at least
have made a crack.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
No Presidents for British Railways.

British railways do not have presi-
dents, and there is nobody in the Of
fetal roll whose authority exactly cor
responds to that of the American chief
executive. The chairman, often titled
and usually d layman. finds his chief
duty in presiding over semiannual
meetings and answering the extremely
pertinent questions put to him by the
proprietors,@ for every British share
holder feels the weight and dignity of
his proprietorship, and may not be
gainsaid. To make. for the moment a
technical distinction. the chara cteristic
American organization. is divisional.
That is to say, we are prone to make
each operating division of the road a
separate entity, ruled by its superin
tendent, who reports to the general
superintendent of all divisions. on
most of the larger systems there are a
group of vice presidents, each re-
sponsible for a main branch of the
business, but reporting in turn to the
president. while they give the division
superindents, who are the operating
units. as free a hand as possible. Our
general managers are little more than
fuil-powered general superintendents.
Ray Morris. in the July Atlantic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

Farmer farrell hands down this
apinion in the Holton Signal: IF
other crops fail, you can still raise COW
feed. You draw your dividend on the
row every night and morning. The
gheat rots Ia the held and The corn
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
MONOTONOUs.

The tired man who reads an hun
bred or more exchanges each week
gets more weary as he sees the same
mess of editorial plates in each one Of
them sent out by the state committee
We believe ''monotonous' is the proper
Enterprise.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

Senator Platt announces that he in
tends to restore peace and harmony in
4he Republican party Of New York.
Now watch the fight
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

she-gog-ong, the locative of the word
she-gOg, meaning skunk. The Potta-
watomies must have been gifted with
second sight when Packingtown was
named.-Baltimor News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

Who would have thought four years
ago that the Republicans would now
be skirmishing around to find the only
man who can beat BRYAN o.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

1t is announced that Thomas ".
Lawson mas a humorous piece about
the muckrake in the August Every
body's Magazine In other words, Mr..
Lawson is getting funny.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
THE NEwsPAPER THIEF

One of the things that makes a
newspa per man sore is to have some
other newspaper man swipe his stuff
without credit and then for some other
newspaper man to use it and credit it
to the thief. Newspaper men should
be careful of their credits. An ed
itor's "stuff'' is his stock in trade The
person who appropriates it without
credit is nothing more than a common
thief. This Office has a thief book .
Stuff that is detected as stolen lis
clipped, notations made and then
carefully pasted in the book for fu-
ture reference. There is a great dff-
ference between common property
stuff and personal stuff. The ed
itor who honors and takes pride in his
work never deliberately robs brother
workman of brains. He doesn't have
to.-Osborne Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
RECIPROCAL {

RECIPROCAL QUALIFICATIONS
Before a Norwegian girl can marry
she must present a certificate showing
that she can cook. why not compel
prospective bridegroons to furnish
certificates showing that they are
capable OF providing something to
cook.-PortIand (Me) Advertiser.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

If the president desires to keep in
practice as a peacemaker. he might try
to reconcile the warning Republican
factions in New York.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

The July drouth continues to be
cracked at frequent intervals.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

It appears that the government can
give postal savings banks to the peo-
pie Of Hawaii and the Philippines but
none TO the people Of the United states.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
GOOD RUsINEss-

The keeper of a vegetarian restaur-
ant in Chicago complains that since
the beef trust exposures business has
been SO good that he has been unable
to find time to eat his own meals
Denver Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21

REAL CAUSE FOR GRIEF.
It IS really too bad to see old Bill
Allen Whites editorials going the
rounds of the Democratic press-Iola
Register.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-21
KANSAS COAAENT



Carr Taylor, attorney for the rail-
road board, has been urged by some
poircians to bring suit against the
railroads under the Kansas law to
compel the railroads to reduce the
railroad fare from cents to 2 cents
mile The object of the suit is to
bring out lot Of evidence on the
subject before the railroad board as
Wen as to reduce the railroad fare.
Sucn suit would not be wise, espe-
claliy before the present board. In
THIS connection it is appropriate to
say that there is now a great deal be-
ing said and written on the subject of
passenger rates and passes. A great
deal Of which is buncombe and hog
wash There is real grievance in the
matter of freight rates. The discrimi-
NATIONS and inequalities are a source
OF in1quity and unfairness. The pas
senger fare with the pass evil thrown
IN is but froth In comparison to the
EVIL OF freight discrimination. There is
tendency to direct the agitation
against passenger rates and let the
freight rate remain as 1t is Such a
course is folly. It is of minor mo-
ment in comparison. whether some
politician rides on a pass as to
whether some city is Disseminated
agalnst.-Arkansa City Traveller.