Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-09-30

indignity had bitten very deeply into her
Then had come the telegram from Maud
on their arrival at New York. 1t told her
that he had taken laudanum again that he
had forged the name of the doctor, but that
he had, after one dose, allowed her to throw
the bottle away. His general health. IL
| said, was rather improved. Three more
kilograms reporting the events of three
more days had come since then each re-
cording improvement. and it was this fourth
that she was expecting to find now on her
return.
But, as she drove now through the streets.
where the shops were gay for Christmas
purchasers. she knew that this was not
half the stress of the emotional conflict that
was going on in her. Matters. as was in
eVitable had come to a crisis between her
and Rudolf Eillars and two days ago he
mad declared to her the steadfast and pas
sionate devotion that he had always felt
for her. But he had refused to go on any
longer on this present footing of friend
ship. Should she now definitely reject his
devotion he would not see her again except
as was necessary in the casual meetings,
when the world brought them together
And she had promised to give him his
answer this evening.
She had really no idea at this moment of
what 1t would be. Months ago she had de-
termined that she would not herself break
that moral law, though she did not really
believe in 1t. But since then much had
happened ruin and degradation had come
to her husband; he had offered her the great
est insult that from the point of this moral
law a wife can be offered, and what was a
far more vital and determining fact in her
choice, she knew now that she loved Rudolf
F1llars and with an intensity that she be-
lieved equal to his. Could the moral law
that tied her to opium drenched wreck
sever her from this other man?
And then suddenly she remembered the
letter she had written to Thurso. She had
told him that the past was utterly blotted
out. Had she only said that because she
in ha fr1f,,
Or had she said it because she did not be-
lieve he would live No, she had said it
because the best part of her meant it. But
just now that best part seemed dwindled
to a mere pins head in her consciousness
Love and life and desire were trumpets
and decorations to her. that little gray
tattered flag of honor was scarcely visible
among the miles of bunting and the b!are
or the welcome that would be hers If she
said one word to her lover.
Her victoria had already stopped at her
door, and the footman had turned back the
sable rug to let her get out, but she sat
for a moment quite still for the thought
had hit her like a blow. Till 1t came She
had not known how nearly she had de-
cidey now that 1T had come she could not
for the moment estimate how it would af-
feet her decision. Only for the moment it
was stunning. She had told her husband
that the past was wiped out-all that he
had said or done which had been unjust
and insulting to her she had Cancelled, an
initiated as far as it concerned her Was
she then going to make a fresh past on
her own account? To give him an oppor-
tunity to be generous as she? There
was a sort Of irontcal fitness about this
that she could not help being amused at.
though it concerned things as vital as sin
and forgiveness.
And as she got out Of her victoria and
entered the house she Endorsed that to her
self. She would have written that letter
over again to Thurss at this moment, and
have expressed it even more strongly. All
that was implied in it, too, she would have
Endorsed. But in spite of the kilograms
of these last three days she did not really
believe that he would live.
There was some dozen of letters for her
on the table in the hall, and telegram lay
little apart. AS she picked all these up
she spoke to her major-domo.
Il shall be in to anybody until six" she
said. IF Count Nillars calls after that,
shall be in to him
Yes, my lady
There were two little hats and two little
coats hanging up in the hall She looked
at these for a moment, feeling that they
ought to convey something to her, but she
did not quite know what. Then she re-
mehlbered that her two sons were due at
home today.
Lord Stratton and Lord Henry have
Gomez" she asked.
Yes, my lady; they arrived an hour
ago"
Again she paused moment.
Let them know that 1 have come in.
They can come and have their tea with me
| in the drawing-room in ten minutes. And
boiled egg for them EACH she added
She frowned to herself. still not going
up that staircase that had been the hay
field of wild flowers to her but last sum-
mer, wondering at her indeciSion. Then
she spoke again.
II am In to no one but Count Villars"
she said. But tell the young gentlemen
to come down and have tea with me-"
The past was dead, she had said that
but there was something in the past these
two boys whom she had never found par
ticularly interesting, which the death of
the past, in the sense that she had prom
ised 1t to her husband made more alive
1t was the wretchedness and alienation of
the past that she had meant and implied
should be dead; she willed it more surely
by caring for that which was truly vital
in 1t, by neglecting no longer that ard
those whom She had neglected too much
She was not sorry for her neglect of them