Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-07-15
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

TN this column VIII b. answerea all aaestions
.. proper mature submitted to Tho STAR In
and address their letters to Uncle Jasper star
encs In case of dificul, eonandrums answer. may
may Be advisable for all questioners watch this
column earefuiiy.l
TORRiD.-Dear Uncle Jasper. am greatly
perplexed by the failure OF the ice man to
leave a sufficient quantity OF ies at my
house. although my bills ara bigger than
ever Can you suggest a remedyf A.
Nothing easier. Instruct your cook to set
out nice light lunch for him when he
comes consisting of trapped pineapple and
angel cake. He will take the hint In time
SUBURBAN-Do you know OF any way
| to cure the end-seat man of his bad habit
of sel1shnessf A.-when you step upon
the running board and ind the end seat oc-
cupied take a firm hold OF the brass handle
and by giving the seat a sharp jerk slide
| the porcine Individual down tho line This
is always effective.
MOTORS 1t true that the District Com
missloners are going to prohibit the display
of bright lights upon the automobiles In
this cityf A.-So say the gossips. IL you
are bothered by the new regulation try the
experiment of corraliing 4 few lightning
bugs ard breaking them in. You may then
help to allay public sentiment on the SUBJ
ject.
SENSrTIyE.-Two of my neighbors keep
chickens that are dreadful nuisance
against my nose and ears What dor
| have applied to the health officer for re-
lief. and he tells me to go to court. A
Don't go to court Any one can do that
Show your genius for solving your troubles
in an artful manner. Pick out able ally
in the form OF large, strong gentleman
l ~ftn nrxf3 <bApr
him the easiest way over the back fence.
The chicken problem will no longer trouble
YOU.
ANXIOUS MOTHER.-I have small
hoy, twelve years old. who Is passionately
fond of swimming. fishing. boating and
sailing, but l am dreadfully afraid he will
| be drowned. Can you recommend good
summer resort where he will be entirely
! safe? A.-The Sahara desert Is the only
place that occurs to US just at present 8
| being drowning proof in the case OF such
youngster as YOU describe: but we hesitate
| to recommend IT as a summer resort
N. C. K.-Can you tell me who went on
Postmaster Barnes bond? A.-The nearest
approach to a positively reliable answer
| can give Is that DR.. Minor Morris did not.
PATRIOTIC.-Are there any evidences
| that Independence day is becoming moro
safe and saneT' A-Mereiy the fact that
| the small-boy population is being steadily
reduced by the ancient and riotouS methods
| that are still In vogue
JUSTfCE.-What do you think would be
an adequate punishment for convicted
member of the ice trusty A.--Our imagina-
| ton fails to reach satisfactory estimate.
| Jussie. in this case: but a little matter OF
thousand wears in the warmest corner OF
| the Old Boys private fireplace would strike
US as approximating a penalty that fits the
crime.
BEsSIE.-Dear Uncle Jasper. won't you
please give me a recipe for birds nest
soupf A.-With pleasure. dear. Take
| few handsful of chopped straw. gathered
| carelessly from neishbor's stable. stew
SAVIOR to taste and serve c1fd In cigar boxes
| It is as delicious as a front porch rejection
on warm summer evenings.
''Honk. honkln said the
As IL speeded from afar-
"Fie. he,'' said the man.
DONG to d saa ne sal. ~ yG the sq bs
As 1t tolled the funeral knel
1t is not recherche TO wear the family bee
as a finger ring jewel II you insist upon
| ornamentation have the lump set as scarf
| pin.
HISTORICAL--Is Oyster Bay now the
seat OF government? A.-WeH. not exactly
what you call the seat, Hissie. but sort
| of hammock.
DUFFER.-I am trying to catch on to the
| language of golf. and would like to know
| what is meant by the expression two up
and three to play" A.-Youre up against
| a hard proposition in general. friend. but
| this one happens to be easy. 1t means that
| you have laid up two spectators by soaking
| them In the head with wild drives. and
| there three still within your deadly
range.
No. Gladys. the original 'Fiorodora' sex
| tette girls are not all disposed Of There
are still 743 of them standing in line wait
| ing for lightning to strike them In the way
of high society divorce case or a sensa-
tional shooting scrape.
FINANCE What do you think Of the
armor contract award to the steel trustf
Was 1t hold-up or surrender? Alt
strikes a GROSS between a knock
down and a bunco game.
UNCLE JASPER.