Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1906-05-18

put uoNH Ten years aSo, hoNc hot
cost the town dollar for repairs up
to this time.
Mark Twain got kiss every time
he wrote his autograph for the Vassar
girls the other day, and the last heard
of the old man, he was sending out
for more pens.
Lincoln, Neb., which has decided
not to permit giant crackers on July
4th, may find its decision set aside
when the case comes for review be-
fore the small boy.
A United States Senator is credited
with the remark that affairs are so
bad that when the Senate roll is call
ed, he doesn't know whether to say
"present" or 'not guilty.
If there's any truth in the maxim
that "April showers bring May flow
ers" there will be many of the latter
with which to decorate the graves of
the dead heroes on Memorial Day.
Some Statistican says that it takes
at present Sl07 to buy what 500
would pay for year ago. Another
way of putting it is to say that n dol
lar is less valuable than il was a year
ago.
With coal scarce, with ice steadily
going up, milk, eggs and butter above
normal prices, the outlook for the
wage Garner, or the man out of work
under suspension order, is very
blue.
The London woman who killed
herself by tight lacing will not be
missed much. If she had so little
sense as to do such u thing she had
too little to fill any useful sphere in
this life.
An exchange says that a person
who is known as n man of his word,
whether spoken or signed, has the
very best equipment, especially if he
be a man of few words and fewer
signatures.
When the Rockefeller baby cries
for a penny, they will probably quiet
him with a $50 gold piece, and then
he won't be able to get it into the
slot of the chewing gum machine.
Poor little kid.
All the registrars recently appoint
ed by the state commissioner of health
are to receive badges which will show
their authority to enter houses where
contagion exists. The badges will be
their insignia of office.
While excavating in Huntington
county, it Was discovered that the
locusts in large numbers are very near
the surface. The prediction that the
seventeen-year locusts will be here
this year is practically proven by the
above.
David Wintersteen, of near this
city, was in to see us on Saturday
and renewed his subscription for
another year. He told us some start
ling events in the careers of certain
politicians that might make good
reading matter some time.
The Raftsman's journal tells of the
Clearfeld county literary society that
recently debated the question: ere
solved, that dirty good natured wife
affords more happiness to a husband
than clean i'll natured one" The
affirmative seems to have won.
Why should not a man be Just as
proud to write after his name the
word "Farmer" as to write doctor
or Lawyer ?" 1t is the proudest
title any man can bear, says the Farm
Journal. Only, he must be worthy
to bear it; that is what counts.
Mr. |. X Grier, one of the oldest as
well as the ablest of our county attorneys
and president of the First National Bank,
has been appointed trustee of the Dan
vile Insane Asylum. Mr.. Grer will add
greatly to the good work OF the board of
trustees, being man of wide experience
and most excellent judgment.
F. A. North q Co., one of the old
est firms of Phil'a. established in
1870, has a representative in this city,
stationed at No. 2S2 Mill street,
where they are having a factory sale
pianos of standard makes. Having
the facilities of the factory, each in
strument is in perfect condition and
satisfaction is guaranteed. Some rare
bargains are offered.
a Johnstown girl ate raw camphor
to cure a>cold with the result that it
acted on certain nerves of her stomach
in such way as to start her laughing
that she nearly laughed herself to
death before physicians could be sum-
moned to counter-act the effects of
the camphor poison. 1t would be in
teresting to see camphor tried ON a
few of the old balls around Wat
sontown. - Record.
The age limit pension bill passed
by both houses of congress has be-
come law. Under its provisions
when a soldier of the Civil War ar
rives at the age of sixty years he is
allowed Sc per month without exam
ination as to disability. At sixty-one
he gets SS; at seventy years he is al
lowed S12. The measure does away
with any question as to disability,
and gives every soldier pension re-
gardless of disease contracted in the
war or since that time.
Senator Clay of Georgia told this
story to number of his colleagues in
Senate cloakroom a few days ago,
"Sam Jones, the evangelist, was hold
ing meetings in my home town last
summer in the open air His subject
for the particular evening of which !
speak was Death. He had been
| al, l.. Al a,