Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-12-05


and looked very happy. The boys
asked him what made him look so
happy and he SAID he had done
three great things that morning.
What were tbey?" they asked
him. Pat answered: Il was com
ing along by the cathedral and |
met a poor woman carrying a sick
child, and she was crying because
she hadn't IS to get her child con
frmed. ! took ten dollar bill out
of my pocket and handed it to her
and told her to go and get her child
and bring rue back the
change" well, they said, that's
only one good thing" Pat said II
was three-he made the woman
happy, saved the child from purga-
tory, and he got seven good dollars
for counterfeit ten.
-
A dear old New England spinster,
the embodiment of the timid and
passed away at Carlsbad,
where she had gone for her health.
Her nearest kinsman, a nephew,
ordered the body sent back to be
buried as was her last wish-in
the quiet little country churchyard.
His surprise can be imagined. when,
on opening the casket, he beheld,
instead Of the placid features of his
aunt Mary, the majestic port of an
English general IL full regimentals,
whom he remembered had CHANGED
to die at the same time and place as
his aunt. At once he cabled to the
generals heirs, explaining the s1tua-
ton and requesting instructions.
They came back as follows: Give
the general a quiet funeral. Aunt
Mary inferred to day with full
military konOrs, six brass bands,
saluting guns"
A young man took his best girl to
church and stopping at the end of
the back pews, turned to the usher
and said. Il guess we can squeeze
in here" Yes. said the usher
with q smile, I guess you can, but
probably il viii be better for all
concerned to wait until you get
home.
A man who was very fond of
fishing, while enjoying great spr TT
at Rush Lake, MINI, went TO the
telegraph Office and wired his wife
as follows: I've got one; weighs
seven pounds and 1t is a beauty.
In reply came the following signed
by his wife: $50 have l; weighs
10 pounds; he isn't beauty. Looks
like you"
~
W. j. Brooks, the affable agent of
the Massachusetts Mutual Life ms.
company who has made his head
quarters here for some time is going
about on tip toes as though he was
afraid of waking the baby or
stepping on tack. He has Always
been the possessor of pert walk,
but lately it is porter than ever.
When he crosses the street he looks
both ways, and then runs as though
he were afraid Of being run over by
an automobile or a beer wagon.
And do you know what it's all
about9 A week ago some friend OF
his sent him one of those endless
chain prayer letters which threaten
dire calamity unless you join the
typewriter's union and proceed to
make nine other sinners miserable.
This is not meant to convey the
idea that Brooks is a sinner, be-
cause he is not. If he hasn't got
religion to sell or give away it's the
only thing on the market worth
having that he doesn't keep. The
reason why he minds his own Dusl-
ness and lets the world wag as Il
will is because he is too busy look
ing after his own concerns. He has
made a success in life along these
principles, and vet he is the most
accommodating man that ever
lived. He won't give you five fve'
for twenty, but he will give yor
four good ones. He has been that
way since childhood. It was borr
in him. When a boy he was Sc
considerate around home that he
used 10 go in swimming six and
eight times 2 day to keep the rest Of
the family dry. But about the
letter he got. IT threatens calamity
unless he sends the prayer to nine
others with a request that each O
them send it To nine more. He