The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-12-09

some days ago a bachelor editor OF
this city. in At of desperation for some
thing to write about. hit upon the happy
idea 81 suggesting that all thoughtful
married couples, as well as prudent spin
sters. ehould begin their Christmas shop
ping three weeks earlier than usual this
7 year.
Since then there has bean no holding
back the wtmmenfoiks.
Although the editor IN question hasn't
been In store himself for the last fifteen
years, save when he visited a certain
Srocer's to buy his peculiar brand Of
apple brandy. his advice was seized upon
with az much avidity as though he had
been a prophet or a he-MRy MRnton.
His article sent a wild throb through
the woEnan's club and up at our house
it set a-Quivering the pulses OF every
female on the place, not even barring
our baunt-leather cook and our amber
witch Of a housegirL
rs for the Queen Boo. she. for the Last
week. has done nothing but buzz fran
Gcally around the premises and figure
on my assets, or rather appraise my
resources, at an arbitrary valuation. de-
signed 10 suit her immediate needs.
Tho good wonans calculations at such
seasons as this are based not 20 much
on mathematics as on the theory that
dollars arc made Of India rubber. and
that the resiuency OF my wad is Ike
tennis ball
In vain has she been reminded OF tho
fact that COWS now yield only ten-cent
milk from their tactical fonts. and that
the most wanton hens decline 70 lay any
eggs whatsoever save those of the three
cent class.
scornfuny has sho laughed when re-
minded that evon the thirstiest OF calves
At present abate the aridity 81 their gull
lets on pump water. while none but the
most prodig7I and extravagant Of embry-
onic chicks can anOTd &c be Matched.
Don't bother about the money"
cheerny ohlrps the Busting Busybody
IN economic on the table from now on
until Christmas" a thing she has done
most couscientously, for this chrOnicler
as well as those put hero 10 perpetuate
his name, have been filed with prlnes
for the last fortnight. or made to lap I'd
meat stews until they would shudder at
meeting A Sirioin steak as though the
meat were a Bostock lion.
Unfortunately, however. persons OF
the Pierpont Morgan order neither acquire
nor accumulate wealth by a safety OF
prunes end hash and the outlook for
me is equally dark as the complexion
OF the saccharine fruit on which l 50
long have Toasted.
one would Judge from the tactics pur-
sued by the Queen Bee that she Is Moth
ins If not practical. but This judgment
cannot De affirmed by the individual
buiginE with the primes and the resid-
uary meat morsels. Ii recently occurred
10 me- In view OF the economical wave
sweeping Ger our table and simplifying
the uluminauons on our bin OF fare that
/ would give the Busting Busybody for
her Nuleude present some article which
she would necessarily have to have any
/ hoT-a clock. for instance. Now the
truth Is, we-or rather. L myself-have
L ~ FNsaM al.
and so the idea struck me being pre-
| eminenuy good.
But you ought to have seen the Queen
| Bee jump around when the thing was
| suggested to her
| a clock the cats foot." she esacu-
| lated What do you take Ire or? I'll
/ get hoppin mad II anybody gives me
/ anything that Is really useful What
/ want IS something that I would feel too
( poor 10 buy. no matter how I Ionged
| for it-sonething that would represent
\ rank extravaganza IL me were 70 pur-
] chase II myself"
Well my dear" said her intending
| benefactor. with considerable contricon,
every summer when you send me 10
/ Spotsylvania with the children you have
/ Us filled with seed-ucks: 50 It Just oc-
| CURED 70 me that a few less bloodthirsty
/ ticks from a S9-cent nickel-p plated clock
might 90 right we'll along about A. N
| instead OF having me lie awake for 90
minutes svery morning in an effort 70
| count the strokes OF the stauon-house
bell
But Il has been useless 20 attempt 70
bring the Lady Of the Steved Prunes 70
] this way OF thinking.
NO. Stree" she said yesterday. as
/ she smacked at the children trying to
! steal the citron which is TO so into our
J fruit cake, what I want Is soulefhlne
| luxUriously useless even II It's a silver
/ manicure settle foolest thing on earth
/ or a Dresden china face-powder stand
/ Last year every woman I know worked
/ on a cretonne handkerchief bag on mo
! or q strtng-baby 10 hang on the gas Jet
| The whole plague-it house was padded
/ with cretonne BAGS until I could taste
! EN- IN my meals; and "a for string