Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-04-08
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

t1u this column VIII be answered all guelfians
OF proper nature submitted The Star In.
qnirers should write side Of the paper only
ara address their letters to Uncle JasFer.' Star
De DELAYED FOR week or two. Consequently II
may be sdvisshb for all questouers watch this
column carefully
LEGISLATIVE was In the public gall
lery of the House OF Representatives. last
Thursday afternoon about o'clock while
Representative John Wesley Gaines of
Tennessee was debating What was he
talking about? Aust about three hours
That's all No charge, Legy.
AMAT.-I have been studying elocution
and was recently requested to recite some
thing at a public entertainment to he held
on the 18th Of this month. What would
you suggest? A-"Curfew Shall Not Ring
Tonight is a real new little thing and
for an encore You might drift into The
Charge OF the Light Brigade or "On, the
Grampian Hills. We will stake our pro-
fessional reputation that people will make
remarks about YOU afterwards
CULTTRED.-Is lit proper to show the
teeth when smiling? A--Oniy I'm modera-
ton. fiashy display of the wisdom teeth
ana rear mofars is not considered recherche
in the highest circles. We must admit
however. that some people think everything
he does Is all right. We don't care much
FOR that Barnes appointment, tho.
SERENO PAYNE-No. Serene. dear, We
don't think there Is much chance for tar
if revision, Didn't you say yourself that
you were sitting on the lid?
MR.. MACK OF HACKENsACK.-w
would you say IL you saw a lady thrown
down flight of stairs, dragged two blocks.
pitched into an ambulance and charged
with insanity, disorderly conduct and writ
Ing poetry? Ave should merely suggest.
Mr.. Mack. that the lady had been
Barnesed. Do you have things like that
UP your way, too?
HANNAH.-Has spring at last came? A
Well let you know later. We only make
rearcasts on the weather nowadays. 1t
saves SO much trouble.
GwENDOLYN.-Dear Uncle JASPER.
went out in the woods yesterday and got
full Of ticks. What shall 1 do? A-Act
like clock, dear. Oh, splash!
ASTOUNDED.-I was in dairy the other
day when the milk suddenly turned sour
without apparent cause. What do you
think was the trouble? A-General Gros-
venor probably passed by on the other side
of the street. He thinking OF some
pleasant things he had called a fellow
member of the House.
MENU.-Please give ME a recipe for
frontage de bre. A.-With pleasure. Take
a pound and a half of frontage and con-
siderable debris mix and bury under tho
rose bushes When the neighbors begin to
complain and health department employees
snoop around the house after dark. dig up
the remains, garnish and serve with petr-
fed bread. This is indeed dellcacy.
GIDEON What is meant by a point
in billiards. "A point is what 1t counts
when you make 1t. If the first bail yoI
poke hits a couple more you count one. II
the first ball goes off the table you coun-
ten. If all three hit the moor you get nifty.
The object ball in the spittoon counts 100.
Two balls through the window count 100.
One IN the. spittoon and two through the
window count 500 game. But it takes
expert to do this. In balk-line billiards
an eighteen-inch fence is erected arouut
the table to make the game more DIM
cult.
BENJAMIN f. B.-Dear Uncle Jasper. II
you will call at my office some morning
next week I'd like to ask your advice about
"A certain local matter A.-Call US up by
phone, Benny. Our bodyguard' Is out or
town.
ALGERON.-I have had a beautiful three
stone diamond ring given to me by friend
I'd like to know how much it Is worth Can
you tell me? A.-Youve got the wrong
uncle, Aigy. Try again at the sign of the
golden balls.
THEODORE.-G) No, honored sir you
not an agreeable surprise. CD No again.
Nova Scotia is not considered local by
the citizens of the District.
Y. L. FL understand there is a bill in
Congress to appropriate S25,0O0 for the ex-
termination OF dog fish. Did you ever.
Uncle Jasper, see a dog fish on the New
England coast? A.-No; nor anywhere else.
What is more we don't believe that they
do. UNCLE JASPER