davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
The, Cheerful Bachelors.

With considerable ceremony the
Bachelors Amusement, Society of
Yorktown Pa, was inaugurated a
few nights ago for the purpose of
mutual defense against the blandish-
ments of the other SEX
Before the inaugural proceedings be-
gan the members received a deputa-
ton OF spinsters DESTROYS of securing
cooperation in the organization of an
old maids auxiliary league. But the
bachelors were taking no risks, and
the petition was promptly refused.
The Bachelors Amusement Society
denies the right to all members to
dlrt, ogle, talk, walk or hold hands
with persons of the opposite sex. Be.
fore candidate shall be admitted to
membership he is required to sub
scribe to the following oath: 81
swear or affirm, that will never mar
ry while member of the club. and
that | will sign petition to be sent
to Congress urging the adoption of 8
law limiting marriage to the healthy
and wealthy
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
The Best Guaranty of Merit
Is Open Publicity.

Every bottle of DR.. Pierce's world
famed medicines leaving the great labo.
upon its wrapper all the ingredients
entering into fits composition. This fact
alone places DIR. Pierces Family Medi
cines IN class all on themselves. They
cannot be classed with patent or secret
medicines because they are neither. This
Is why so many unprecedented physicians
prescribe them and recommend them to
their patients They know what they
are composed of, and that the ingredients
are those endorsed by the most eminent
medical authorities.
The further fact that neither DIR.
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, the
great stomach tonic, liver invigorator,
heart regulator and blood purifier, nor his
"Favorite Prescription" for weak, over
worked, broken-down, nervous women
contains any alcohol, also entities them
TO place all by themselves.
Many years ago, DIR. Pierce discovered
that chemically pure glycerine, of proper
strength, is better solvent and preserv
alive of the medicinal principles resid
Ing in our indigenous, or native, medi
cinal plants than is alcohol and further
more, that 1T possesses valuable medicinal
properties of it's own, being demulcent
nutritive, antiseptic, and most efficient
antiferment.
Neither Of the above medicines con
tains alcohol, or any harmful, habit
forming drug, as will be seen from
glance at the formula printed on each
bottle wrapper. They are safe to use and
potent to cure.
Not only do physicians prescribe the
above, non-secret medicines largely, but
the most intelligent people employ them
people who would not think of using
the ordinary patent, or secret medicines
Every ingredient entering into the com
position of DR.. Pierce's medicines has
the strongest kind of an endorsement
from leading medical writer's of the
several schools of practice. No other
medicines put up for like purposes has
any such professional endorsement
DR.. Pierces Pleasant Pellets cure con.
stipation. Constipation is the cause OF
many diseases. Cure the cause and you
cure the disease One 'Pellet' is gentle
laxative, and two a mild cathartic Drug
glsts sell them, and nothing is ''iust as
good" Easy to take as candy.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
RHEUMATISM CURFn
The Disease Yielded Readily ;.
Williams Pink Pills After ot 20 o..
Treatment Faied "er

DR.. Williams Pink Pills cnro
tism because they supply the na neuma'
elements to the vitiated blood e a'sy
able nature to cast out the ;ns nu en-
and effect cure. Mrs. A. Ralroap 1t ss
119 Fitch street, Syracuse, N y NO
furnish living evidence of tbo 80 WIN
this statement. There has hoor a :. Of
matism i'll my family ever since aa neu
member" she says. ..sMy grandm ''a ~
was great sufferer from lnns sovnei
rheumatism and my mother also b' aS ia
disease in a mild form. Abont "u 'ns
ago l had hard cold and rhen,'oyea year
caught me i'll my left knee. Thera a" susl
sharp pains, confined to the na;oh %ere
hood of the knee and they seemed S ~
right into the bone. The pain snf r. 81
was intense and / also had div s,,er
"The doctors called nv tra pO,s
uriatlc and sciatic rheumatism. Wbas
l didn't get better under their t ,aen
ment my brother-in- law suggested tb toae
try DR.. Williams Pink Pills. I ho ,,"S,
three boxes, and, by the time 7 5as
taken them, the pain and dizziness b aS
entirely left me. wanted to ma Ia
sure OF cure so I bought three mors
boxes, but didn't take quite all Of tbon
as found that was entirely cured
Sc Before took the pills the main ,vo,
so severe that had to cry at times and prNS
when was cured Twas so thankful an ,d
grateful and [ am glad to recommend
them to every one who suffers with
rheumatism. ''D
DR.. Williams Pink Pills have curea
severe cases Of an@mia, sciatica. nervous
ness, partial paralysis, locomotor ataxia
and st. Vitus' dance that have not re-
sponded to other modes of treatment
All druggists sell DR.. Williams Pink
Pills or they will be sent by mail. post.
paid, on receipt of price, SO cents DEL
box, six boxes for $3.50, by the DR.. viii
iams Medicine Co., Schenectady, N. Y
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
Beware of Ointments for Catarrh
that Contain Mercury.

as and VIII surely destroy tne sense VI She
entering it through the mucous surfaces. Such
articles should never be used except on prescnp
lions from reputable physicians the damage they
Will do is ten fold to the good you can possibly oe
rive from them. Halls Catarrh Cure, manufactured
by f. j. Cheney & Co., Toledo, o., contains no mer
curry, and is taken internally, acting directly upon
the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. III ID
buying Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get lne
genuine. 1t Is taken internally and made IN ioieuo
Ohio, by f. j Cheney & Co. Testimonials free.
Sold by Druggists. Price, 75c. per bottle.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
HAPPY AUeURY FOR THE BRIDE.
Dove AIights on Young Woman's
Shoulder as She Leaves Church.

1t is seldom that such an augury OF
good luck greets a bride as was
vouchsafed to Miss Mary Waters Of
Philadelphia few days ago. AS she
stepped out of the church by the side
of her newly acquired husband, Mich
ael Doheny, white dove alighted on
her shoulder.
This prosaic, practical bird, be it
known, was hungry, and the rice-be-
showered bride was too good chance
to be missed. All in attendance held
their breath, and the brides heart
fairly stood still for fear that the
little creature might be frightened
away.
After sitting on it's chosen perch
and pecking rice from the hat of the
astonished bride until it had eaten a
good square meal, it unfolded it's
wings of peace, and, after lowering
a moment over the happy pair, few
back to its home in the belfry
1t is probable that such another
symbolic occurrence might not hap
pen again in a century and Mrs Do
heny is naturally delighted with the
harb1nger of peace which blessed her
with its benediction at the outset OF
her married life.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
SAVED BABY LYONS LIFE.
Awful sight From That Dreadful Com.
plant, lnfantIe decentralization
Praises Cuticura Remedies.

"Our baby had that dreadful com.
plant, Infantile Eczema, which af1ict.
ed him for several months, common
cling at the top of his head, and at last
covering his whole body His suffer
ings were untold and constant misery
in fact, there was nothing we would
not have done to have given him re
lief. We finally procured full set OF
the Cuticura Remedies, and in about
three or four days he began to show a
brighter spirit and really laughed, for
the first time in year. In about
ninety days he was fully recovered
Praise for the Cuticura Remedies has
always been our greatest pleasure.
and there is nothing too good that we
could say in their favor, for they GER
tainly saved our baby's life, for he
was the most awful sight that | ever
beneld, prior to the treatment of the
Cuticura Remedies. Mrs. Maebelle
Lyon, 1926 Appleton Ave-, Parsons
Kan, July IS, 1906"
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
Sultan's Big War Drum.

AL interesting and unique war curio
lecently arrived at Khartum in the
shape OF the late Sultan Iambio,s
great war drum. Oio
/. IS cut from solid block of wood
anu Is intended to represent buffalo
'nougn' perhaps, the execution leaves
sohethlng to the Imagination TN
t mnoi1 lning is over 10 feet long, Az
ieee nigh and 4 feet wide. ana ~
cures eight or ten men to carrv -
wide World Magazine
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
Remedy Worth Remembering,

If child should swallow any dan
gerous substance, Immediately slip
down its throat the white Of an egg
which will form a curd around it and
thus prevent serious effects.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
Keeping Youthful.

1t is a great mistake for adults
and especially for those who work
their brains much, to give up sports
and games. The maxim on which |
have acted and the maxim which
have often commended to my friends
is: Be boy as long as you can
Herbert Spencer.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
Rembrandt's Copper Plates.

Sixty of Rembrandt's original
etched copper plates have been dis
covered by Mr.. Victor Thomas al
Valenc1ennes, and they are believed
to have been lost for a century. They
are to be distributed among collec
lions in Paris, Brussels and Amster.
dam.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
New Steel for Tools.

A new steel for tools is being
placed on the market; it can be
hardened by simply heating to high
temperature and allowing it to cool
In the air. Tools made out Of this
steel do not become soft through
growing hot while being worked.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

How to get it, How to maintain I ~
Take natures medicine, Garfield Ca
the mild laxative. 1t is made OF nerpS
1t purifies the blood and establishes .
normal action of liver, kidneys, SUI"
ach and bowels.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

A man has been found who died
worth million dollars, yet he never
worked at larger salary than S22 a
week. The million was left to him by
a rich relative.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

IL has been brought out in court
trlai that a baseball player never
KNOWS where the ball is going when
ne swats 1t. Another cherished illu-
sion gone!
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

People who are troubled about tbo
proper way to write "siege" might
spell 1t 'seiege." Then the man who
gets the letter can scratch either sc"
he likes.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

The man who was fined for kissing
cincinnati girl should have been
given Carnegie hero medal instead
OF being compelled to contribute to
the city treasury
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

The first baseball guide for 1906 Is
out, and there Is nothing in it to show
that the umpire will not be guyed just
the same as usual this season.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

One woman sues for divorce he
cause her spouse "reneged" at cards
and then slapped her. She miebt
overlook the slapping, but never his
failure to follow her lead
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
Drape Hearse in Green.

AT Lancaster, England. the other
Jay, at the funeral of w. Wingate
SAUL former army surgeon. the
hearse was draped in green. the driv.
ers wore green and chestnut horses
were used.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

It's about time now for the old hen
TO stop going "Cutter-caw-caw-caw
and Observation-Disclosures" and to
begin going "Cluck, cluck, cluck!"
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
In Pinch, Use ALIENS EooT.EAsE

A powder. 1t cures painful. smart
ing, nervous feet and ingrowing nails.
It's the greatest comfort discovery of
the age. Makes new shoes easy'
certain cure for sweating feet. Sold
by all druggists, 25c Trial package.
FREE. Address A. S. Olmsted. lie
Roy, N. Y.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

Ihose archaeologists who have Just
eioped from Philadelphia might have
known what was going to happen
wnen they dug up Cupid in Crete.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

IL is SAID that matrimony is not
keeping pace with prosperity. That's
strange. Usually it is prosperity that
is not able to keep pace with matri-
mony.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
Uncle Allen.

I've noticed" remarked Uncle Al
len Sparks, that the man who is ar
ways hunting for trouble finds it some
day where he isn't looking for 1t"
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

Andrew Carnegie is not entirely or
iginal in his discovery that wealth
doesn't bring happiness. Solomon
beat him to it.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

According to Mrs. Russell Sage, no
sweet and refined American women
ever smoke the nasty little things.
Who said they did?
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

We are living in the arms of tyran-
n.y. exclaims the Baltimore Herald.
Congratulations to We editor on his
prolonged honeymoon.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

The newest ocean liner is to have
among its attractions fine picture
gallery Now for an ocean liner with
an e1ghteen-hole golf course.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
Identification of Criminals.

In some German cities the hanus -
criminals are photographed as wen -
their faces for the purpose OF iaen'
fication
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

The thirteen superstition received
another verification when a man who
stabbed himself thirteen times died
on the thirteenth effort.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

King Leopold may be benign and
vlrtuous man, but some strong proof
VIII be required to make the world
believe it.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
Prize for tuberculosis Cur.

The Paris Academy of Medicine of.
fers prize every year for the discov.
cry or an absolute cure for tubercu.
losis. So far, no one has won it.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

A husband in defending divorce
suit said his wife cried when he asked
ner age. Why didn't he look at her
teeth?
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

Will the richest baby in the world"
be able TO buy immunity from collie,
Group and measles?
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

The puckerless persimmon is the
latest. Science, in time, may evolve
mild and delightful Indian turnip.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

POSSIBLY rose spelled "roz" would
smell as sweet, but it wouldn't look
SO pretty.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

The man who calls it "Algy Cyrus"
shows right away that he has never
studied Spanish.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26

The bell, reputed to be tbons.nd
years DID, was found in Ava, where if
was peileved to ring the departed into
paraulse. 1t was smuggled to Eng.
land IN a barrel, marked "Foreee
Lancers,' and was consigned as old
horse-shoes. oiu
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
DON'T FORGET

A large 2oz. package Red Cross Ball Blue o 9nd
cents. The Russ Company, South BENZ in'
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-26
USE THE FAMOUS

Red Cross Ball Blue Large 2-oz. package
cents. The Russ Company, South Bend Ind
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1906-10-06
Woman Astronomers.

Mrs. Peton Fleming, who was re
Gently elected a member OF the Royal
Astronomical society. is not the only
woman who has succeeded IN eompre-
bending the mysteries of the heavens.
Miss Henrietta Leavitt discovered "a
new variable stars some years ago.
Lady Higgins diligently helps her
husband, Sir William Higgins, IN MS
astronomical observations. In their
house in South London they possess
a very finely equipped observatory,
which contains the enormous tele,
scope presented by the royal society to
Sir William in recognition of the work
accomplished by Lady Higgins and
himself in astrop physics.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1906-10-06
How Rhodes and Reit Met.

Mr.. Rhodes once told circle Of
friends after dinner the story Of his
first meeting with Belt 7 called at
Porges' late one evening he said,
and there was Belt working away as
usual. DO you never take a rest? I
asked. Not often. he replied. Wen,
what's your gamer said !. 7 am 60
ing to control the whole diamond out
put before I am much Older he an
sWered, as he got off his stool. That's
funny, I said. 7 have made up my
mind TO do the same; we had better
join hands,. Join hands they did.
Unlike Alfred Belt. Cecil Rhodes had
small patience with arithmetical de-
tails. Once this characteristic in
volved him in difficulty. Pitching a
balance sheet into the pile Of papers
before Belt, he exclaimed desperately,
Here, you understand things; for
heavens sake tell me how stand
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1906-10-06
Natural Color or Pare Water.

It was long ago discovered that the
natural color Of pure water is blue,
and not white, as most of US usually
supposed. Opinions have not agreed
on the cause OF the green and yellow
tints; these, it has been discovered
BY w. Spring, are due to e1traneous
substances Dissolved calcium salts,
though apparently giving a green tint,
due to a fine Invisible suspension,
have no effect on the color Of the
water when adequate precautions
are taken. The brown or yellow color
due to iron salts is not seen when cal
cium is present The green tint il
often due to q condition Of equilibrium
between the color effect OF the iron
salts and the precipitating action OF
the calcium salts.-scientidc Ameri-
can.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1906-10-06
A NERVOUS WRECK
MRS. Green Gained "a Pounds and
Recovered Her Health by Taking
Or. Williams, PINK Pills.

General debility is q term that covers
d multitude Of cases where there is no
acute disease, yet the patient continues
to lose strength and the doctors medi-
ci1es have no apparent effect. This is
the decline that leads to death i means
are not found to check it. IN great
majority Of eases Dr.. Williams Pink
Pills will check 1t and restore health and
strength because they actually make new
blood and so send renewed vitality to
every organ and tissue Of the body.
Mrs. S. A Green, whose address il
Box 90, r.. E. ID. No. 4, Franklin, Ga.
saws for three and q half years I
suffered with weakness and nervous
ness, complicated with stomach trouble.
At times I was confined TO my bed for
periods rang lng froEn three weeks TO two
months and was under the physicians
care most Of the time for three years. ]
do not know tile cause Of my trouble but
/ was prosrratsd with weakness and, al
though i took a great deal Ct medicine,
nothing seemed to give me strength. At
times NV stomach hurt me something
fearful and my head often troubled me.
I was sIaen1ess and what sleep did get
did not refresh ME.
4 WhelnI began taking DR.. Williams
Pink Pills. 7 weighed but 10t pounds.
I knew T was so had that o few doses
would not cure me and I had patience.
Soon the pills began to give me strength,
nv blood GOT III better condition, I eould
sleepWell atniglat and helpsotne with the
Homework. Now I weigh $50 noundsan
think nothing OF walking half q mile.
- d. I1fTIr have IaY4ta 5y4r1-
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1906-10-06
One Way 10 Get Business.

ssrThe boys on the road must make
many turns to get business started in
a retail merchant from the west, who
had Joined the group. 7 remember
one fellow whom just simply couldn't
turn Down. He came into my store the
morning before Christmas. Just as he
began talking to me, three or four Gus
toners came in. He himself took right
hold Of one man and sold him a COM
plete outfit. Then he waited on lady
and sold her lot Of stuff. We were
all busy, and do you know that fellow
kept that up all day long, never saying
word about his own business, except
occasionally throwing in little side
remark and Joking about the eoTsets he
sold. When all was quiet that night
he came at me in a very straightfor-
ward manner and said. I have been
very pleased to be with you to-day. II
is a day I expected would Lose entire
". and it has done me good, too, to get
in touch with the retail trade again.
used to be behind the counter myself
good many years ago. Now, haven't
very much to say about my line except
this: If you haven't bought any corsets
you can use few. have managed dur
ing the day to take the sizes on your
stock and why can't we squeeze in just
few minutes tonight? I can get all
the stuff you need right here in your
store and go over it with you. I shall,
Furthermore, be very happy to come
here as often as is necessary and sizs
up your stock and keep it IN good
shape for you d
Well, now, those samples are en-
tireIy unnecessary, said !. I had COM
plete confidence in him. Send me what
you think I need and do you know
that man has had all my business in
his line ever since? -
And T suppose. said the clothing
man, that his house didn't think he
was working very hard that day.
well, that is where the house was
wrong. replied the merchant. No
man on earth works as hard as the
man on the road, and mingled in with
their hard work Is always, with the
successful ones, spirit of fairness and
good cheer. Yes sirreef these whole
sale houses may say what they please,
but a good representative goes a long.
long way with us merchants. Z
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1906-10-06
AWFUL PSORIASIS IS YEARS.
Terrible seaIy Humor in Patches All
Over the Body-skIn Cracked and
sieeding-cured by eutieura,


I was afflicted with psoriasis for
Ghirty-fFe years. It was in patches
al over my body / used three cakes
OF Cuticura Soap, six boxes OF ONT
ment and two bottles Of Resolvent.
In thirty days I was completely cured
and think permanently, as it was
about five years ago. The psoriasis
hrst made its appearance ID red spots.
generally forming 4 circle, leaving ia
the center a spot about the size Of .
silver dollar Of sound flesh. II short
time the affected circle would form
heavy dry scale Of white silFery
appearance and would gradually drop
on To remove the entire scales BY
bathing or using oil to soften them
the flesh would be perfectly raw, and
light discharge OF bloody substance
would ooze out. That scaly crust
would form again in tEenty-four hours.
u was worse On my arms and limbs,
although it was IN spots all over my
body, also on my scalp. IF ] let the
scales remain too long without remov-
ing BY bath or otherwise, the skin
would crack and bleed. / suffered in
tense itching, worse at nights after
getting warm in bed, or blood warm
BY exercise, when it would be almost
unbearahle. W. NJ. Chidester, Hutch
inson, Kan, April 20, 1906
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1906-10-06
Education in Sweden.

Nowhere else, unless in America. is
education so universal as in Sweden.
Every child must go to school be
tween the ages Of seven and "A, IN
less the parents can show that they
are being privately educated. There
are about twelve thousand common
schools in Sweden, even the thiDly
populated districts having "ambula-
tory schools" held in various parts
of the district. When this is the case
the school term IS reduced to about
hall the ordinary auration.-The
Craftsman.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1906-10-06
Marx Noted Houses.

In pursuance OF its policy OF mark
ing the historic houses Of the city, the
corporation Of Bath has placed a ne
mortal tablet to Henry Fielding and
to his sister Sarah upon the wall
Of the house in which they once lived
The unyeiIfng ceremony was per
formed by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
in the presence Of large attendance,
which Included Henry Fielding, town
clerk OF Canterbury, a great-great-
grandson Of the novelist.