The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-08-04
DER GERMAN coBBLER AND
COCK-EYED SAM
Continued from third page. D

down..
But you shump oop der price of
coal when nottings yhas doing" I says.
sBut it Wasn't TO make money 1t
vhas to teach people to place more
value on der coal und keep it covered
up AWAY from der rats. Dere vhas
SO little money in der coal business
dot sell out und go to chopping wood
If you vhas governor don't make
fool of yourself. Come to me before
you do anything und let me show you
by my books dot / live on turnips on
all last winter shust to accommodate
der peoples"
Poorly aueek when he vhas gone a
man init red face comes in und
slams a pair of shoes down on der
counter und shouts at me:
"Hans, don't you make some fools
of YOURSELF
How"
"By stirring oop der peoples. Nobody
vhas complaining now. All vhas will
ing to be robbed by trusts, rebaters und
grafters. Here vhas some shoes to
mend. und my boy shall bring some
more l vhant you to let me alone
"Und What business vhas you in?'
asks.
DER ice business. You know we have
q very open winter, und no ice around
here. Dot makes prices high dis sum-
mer.''
..But dot vhas only some excuse. Ice
vhas plenty all over New England
but YOU keep still ind your ice vhas
half price. Dot vhas rebates. Der only
man who kicks about rebates vhas der
IMAM who don't get any"
When der iceman goes AWAY der
milkman comes in. He has a wife und
six childer und he was never in my
place before. He now has four pairs of
shoes to be mended, und he smiles und
says:
80 you like to run for governor, eh?~
Il CO."
"Vhell, dot vhas all right Der peo-
pies believe you to be an honest man,
und you can depend on my vote. l see
by your platform dot you vhas down on
trusts"
Il shall make it hot for EN-
'Dots right, Hans; make it hot for
'em but at der same time don't make
some mistakes"
"How?'
"People's vhas mistooken when dey
speak about milk trust. 1t vhas SIM
ply an organization to buy Bibles for
the heather in Africa. When der price
of milk goes oop we buy more Bibles.
When der price of butter goes oop dot
vhas to furnish hymn books. Every
time yoT buy a pound of butter or a
| quart OF milk you are helping the
| heather Please understand dot und
| don't fool nit der milk und butter bust
| ness
Der milkman goes out und der fat
| policeman comes in. He looks at me in
a mournful vhay und says:
| ''Hans, l don't believe you vhas any
sooch man."
"How?' | asks.
'You like to take der bread out of my
mouth
I'm What yhay?"
you vhas going to be elected gov
ernor und stop grating. How can der
| police force get along if you do dot?
Do you like to see us all go by der
| poorhouse!
Il don't like it," 1 says.
| But it vhas custom Everybody
| vhas used to it. Nobody complains.
| If Il man finds me asleep in a saloon
| he CRAFTS me. If l find somebody
| drunk l graft him. 1t vhas one hand
wash der other, und nobody vhas hurt
| Oop to dis time I make you fix my
| shoes for nottings- After dis / shall
| pay you. Go for der plumber and coal
| man, Hans, but give us honest men a
| chance"
Dot day more ash twenty peoples
come into my shop nit shoes to mend
und everybody vhas my friendt. just
before 1 shut oop in der evenings der
cooked eyed tramp comes around. He
sees all der shoes to be mended. und
he sees der smile on my face, und he
says:
Gully, when you vhas in trouble con
suit cock eyed man. What he doesn't
| know about human nature you can't
find out from der undertaken A cock
eyed man don't take good photo
graph. but When it comes down to solid
| advice he yhas all dere ind something's
| TO spare" NJ. QUAD.