Los Angeles herald., 1906-04-07

with an Owls eyebrow on one side,
the caudal appendage of a cross eyed
handy rooster on the other and a few
festooned persimmons forming a pic
turesque background. And this is what
we must give up our good glue!
A Brooklyn man says it is nobody'S
business that he supports two wives.
Yes it is. Some of the rest of us would
like to know how he does it.
Newark, N. j., complains of a scar
city of Holsters. In Newark? Impos-
sible!
Clerk-Gloves? Yessum. Size, please?
Madame (absently)-Main 41144.
stories in his sleep. Lots Of others
must, judging by the stories.
A Tribute to Mr.. Barbee
Mr.. Barbees singing school closed at
Gazette last Saturday night. Mr.. Bar
bee has an uncommonly large mouth,
and when he opens it to its full ca
pacity you hear something worth lis
tening to. The professor gives general
satisfaction whenever he instructs u
class.-Middletown, Mo, Chips.
The Standard Oil puts up the real
tank drama.
Washingtons police force is free of
graft Not enough left from the high
er-ups to go around, eh?
No matter how much you can see of
a woman she always thinks it is mod
est if you see it through open work.
Women are always Caught with
the goods on''-dry goods, that is. The
men carry the wet goods-loads of 'em.
A man dropped fifty feet from the
top story of a building this week and
was not hurt in the least. They were
picked pigs feet.
Senator Tllman is writing a defense
of the senate. He is using a pitchfork
so he won't be contaminated by hand
ling it direct.
Pittsburg proposes to have "the most
exclusive mems club in the country"
1t will probably be composed of Pitts
burg milionaires whose wives have
not sued them for divorce.
Why doesn't the beef trust show its
gratitude by getting out a Garfield
brand OF ham?
Considerable mystery surrounds the
death of New York janitor, We has
ten to add that conscience didn't drive
him to it; he had none.
Why are the preachers against buck
bishops? Don't the dominies also deal
in futures?
Lemon-Tm a self-made man. sir.
Orange-Then you've only yourself
to blame for it.
! 1t is reported that Boni has the grip.
/ Thought he's lost it?
Good Time for the Baskets
] Wanted-At the opera house, young
men and women and baskets to dance
and eat tomorrow eVening.-l1ammond
| CWis) News.
Some folk are astonshed because a
| Chicago man left 100000 TO dog, but
they do not wink an eyelash when told
that some young puppy has inherited
a fortune.
Man that is born of woman is of few
days and full of things the doctors cut
out if they get chance.
/ Alfonso seems to be making the
most of his few remaining days O
| freedom.
Phonetic spelling is the kind you
We're fogSed for using at school.
The American press humorists are to
meet in Philadelphia. They'll wake it
up.
A German physician has just dis
covered that persons with small hearts
are very liable to tuberculosis. For
tunately. persons with small bank ac-
counts are seldom much troubled by
appendicitis.
70 SMaatFn Ff--XlI
Had we not known the joys of better
days,
When bitterness between us had not
brought
This coolncss-ere our cloudless sky
had caught
A shadow-then this time of parted
ways.
of separation and averted gaze,
or strangeness and indifference
bought
BY suffering, I know, tho you care
naught-
Had we not lived those better times,
we'd raise
No monuments above our dead loves;
/ no;
Wed not know what love was! But
we have learned
In happier hours what we may
neer forget.
And so, tho now estranged, we cannot
show
Bold faces, but must treasure what
we've spurned!
Not loving, we can't hate; we just.-
regret. W. IL. C.
--~--A--
Caught With 1t
Police JuStice--IIavc you any means
of Identifying the prisoner a S the man
that robbed you?