davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

crows of roosters and the cackle of
chickens, the singing of birds the bark
ing of dogs, automobile horns and other
delightful little reminders of the coun
try, which could be worked automatic
ally by the pressing of a button.
There was one great Improvement
which the professor devised for this de-
lightful summer resort, and this was
q method invented by himself diffusing 6
currents of electricity of certain
strength through the surrounding at
mosphere, so that all flies, mosquitoes
and other annoying insects found 1t
impossible to exist there.
While the professor looked after
every detail of comfort, he nevertheless
was wise enough not TO adhere too
strictly to making everything first
class, as then the illusion would have
been dispelled. Consequently he ar
ranged a real country sleeping room in
the attic, with low ceiling, old fash
ioned washstand. uncomfortable bed
and other little discomforts associated
with summer boarding. He also ar
ranged an automatic device for the
piano by which that instrument played
the same tunes all day long to the an
noyance Of sensitive guests.
When all was complete Professor
Weisheit invited his wife out on the
porch to enjoy the air and scenery. She
saw three women already occupying
the rocking chairs. So llfelike were
they that Mrs Weisheit imagined at
first they were alive The automatons
moved their heads in her direction and
winked their eyes and then slowly re-
peated. as if by rote, the words dress"
and dinner"
"Well. you have certainly given me a
surprise" said Mrs. Weisheit. This
certainly is as much like the mountains
as anything can be. But why did you
arrange only for women? Why not for
men?"
My dear" replied the professor,
there are no men at summer resorts.
They are expected to be at home work
ing to pay their wives board bills in
the country. At least, If there are any
present they feel like a lot of fish out
os water"
"Ah, and why do these figures con-
stantly repeat the words dress and
dinner'?"
Because" replied the professor,
that's about all that women discuss at
the resorts, and whatever else they may
talk about is hardly important enough
to pay any attention to-"
The morning was spent in playing
croquet. walking, enjoying the fine
scenery and the beautiful mountain
breezes, which were furnished by pair
Of large electric faps which the pro-
fessor had placed at either end of the
yard. securely screened from view and
noiseless.
After luncheon Mrs. Weisheit again
returned to the porch, only to find the
three automatic women there before
her, attired in resplendent gowns. The
sight Of them and the beautiful dresses
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

Il couldn't see nothin' in that FIR me,
an I told him Stevens must ha' mislaid
his bottle Of akwyvity, but corn liquor
was two dimes a drink, with a strong
prejudice in favor O. payin' in advance.
"He got some red in the face at this
an made remarks about me bein' on
regenerated heather, but I says to him
I If there was preachin' to be did,
maybe he'd better wait till he got into
his pulpit.
wen your in the pulpit 1 says,
you can say what you like an 1 das-
sent to talk back. But here. I says,
it's consid able different. I've got the
same rights as you has. round here, be-
sides havin a bungstarter, an 'tain't
real healthy for TO talk too dodgasted
free
"'Twa'n't what you'd call a real
friendly beginnin', but Rev. Wilbrod
come to a understanding, an l let him
have a drink O. corn liquor for a short
bit bein' as he were a sure-enough
preacher, an hadn't any more money.
An after that we got acquainted.
"'Peared he had considerable conshen-
tous scruples agin poker. an he never
played IL 'thouten previous period o.
meditation an prayer, an considerable
need for the money. II my congrega-
y,
he told me, I wouldn't play cards. bein'
played # 'thouten a previous period o.
Good Book says the laborer is worthy
OF higher pay, an 1 feel like just had
to have IT. Ony, o. course, don't play
near home, count O. the example,
II told him that 'peared to be reason
able. an mentioned t there was a
game in my back room frequent
Want a thinkin', special. about him a
comm here. but it's a good thing for
to let poker players know where they
en- get chanst to.
Il reckon it want more'n a month
a'ter that afore Rev. Wilbrod blew in
here one night, lookin' consid able anx-
Rev. Wilbrod were, even when he had
money, an the first thing he asst afore
settin' 'em up was whether he'd get the
benefit O. the clergy in the matter o.
price, but he set 'em up all right when
I told him t didn't make no discount
ony TO my own pasture
Rev Wilbrod lowed mebbe that
were good doctrine, an then he told
me he'd left Little Rock an didn't
know whether he'd go back or not All
depended on whether he'd be able to
make up a little matter o. $500 o.
church funds as he was shy. 'Peared
he hadn't stole the money. but he were
a poor bookkeeper an wouldn't get no
credit f'r his honesty thouten he
showed the cash; so he'd started fr the
river to see T he couldn't pick up the
money on the. boats somehow or an
other. He want 'xactly reck' min on
takin' up collections, but he thought
mebbe he mought scoop a few pots If
he played prayerful an steady.
Then he happened to think o. my
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

Hit began to look like Rey. Wilbrod
was havin' too much prosperity too
early in the game, an the boys want
none discouraged. When Blaisdell
bought again, which he nachully did, he
took 500.
"Bein' as the Rev. Wilbrod had nigh
$50 by this time. an Blaisde1 was
buyin' a hundred, the others seen they
was some behind. an Pearsall an BaS-
sett took $50 more. but Witterbottom
he says ne reckons he'll worry along
with what he's got till he gets pot,
and mebbe he won't have to buy.
Well, there want ony one more
deal If you've KEEP tabs on what I
been tellin o. the number o chips as
was bought, it'll be clear Z there was
just $3.50 on the table. an the Rev. VIII
brod hadn't on'y bought once. An you
may remember t he'd said he was a
'Peared like it fell out providentia1 fr
the Rev Wilbrod. an I don't make. no
doubt there's some d lay IL to his med
itation an prayer, but Bassett and
Blaisdell was talkin 1T over the next
day, an they reckoned there was some
doubt about those three aces gettin'
back into the deck. Nobody didn't saw
nothin' crooked, though, an it were
Pearsalrs deal, so 'ain't likely t nothin'
was irreg'lar. even il twas remarka-
Bile.
'sBlaisde1l made t two call five. an
there 'peared to be regular scramble
for to get in, everybody gettin' cards
as filled 'em with confidence. Winter
bottom had a flush. but O. course he
didn't raise, fret of. bein' as he didn't
want TO keep nobody out. an Bassett
trailed with three kings an the same
notion o. benevolence.
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

two call five. which were rushin' things
some, but Rev. Wilbrod 'peared to've
set a pace, an the boys was ready to go
with him.
"Blaisdell come in, havin' three tens,
an Winterbottom an Bassett trailed,
so there was SIT in the pot when 1t
come to Rev. Wilbrod to play. He
looked at his hand an give sort O.
smile. happy like, an said he reckoned
he'd boost it about the size Of 1t, so
Pearsall he dropped. feelin like he was
gettin' off cheap but Blaisdell had con-
sidable confidence left in his three
tens with chanst in the draw, an he
comes back at Rev. Wilbrod with $50
more
THAT let Winterbottom an Bassett
out. an Rev. Wilbrod didn't look so
happy, but he put up his $50 an Blais-
dell called for two cards.
Rev Wilbrod lost his happy smile
just then, an p'tended for to. study his
cards toPable close. But finally he says,
Il reckon I'd better take one, an one
he tookt He looked at it. too, some
careful afore he looked to see what
Blaisdell'd do
'Just nachuily Blaisdell clipped an
Rev. Wilbrod studied ag'in f'r spell
afore playin> He sure was slick. Bime-
by he says to Blaisdell, How much you
get?
- so Blaisdell he figured up, an he
says he en- on'y find S5.75. an Rev. Will
brod says. I reckon I'll have to tap
you
"Of course, Blaisdell couldn't let the
pot go for no such money as that.
p'tic'lar as it looked like Rev. Wilbrod
was more'n likely to be bluffin, so he
called, but Rev. Wilbrod had three aces
an Blaisdell hadn't bettered.
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

sneak by. 1 came in with lights burn
ing and under fun sail
"'Well. / don't see how IN the world
you did It,
Il was a bit nettled at his manner
Sir said I. you pgobably didn't notice
the name Of my craft. 1t is called the
Sea Witch. If you really want to'know
how got in I'll tell you. The ship took
a long dive just outside the harbor and
came up within the neutral zone. We've
had several wars. you know, and we
Yankees have learned lot about block,
ade running. That is one OF our tricks,
and you are welcome to it,
Il didn't feel that / was in particu-
larly congenial company and so left
soon after.
When 1T came time TO leave with the
rest of the cargo I found / was uo
against another proposition. They had
tied up every tug so that I could ind
no one to tow me out. I finally did
land an old battered tub called the Linz
popo. And do you know what I had to
do2 I got started and found the old
thing couldn't go, and 50 I had to get
out under my own sail and drag the tus
along with me"
However. without further adventure
the captain reached Natal IN snfety
there to find his fame had run before
him. The Natal Mercury gave a long
account OF his adventure and helped
spread the joke OF how a Yankee
schooner had without difficulty run the
blockade at Delagoa Bay.
The Standard and Digger's News.
published at johannesburg. had THU TO
say:
Notwithstanding the Gordon Of war
ships which Is stretched along the
coast outside Of the harbor at Delagoa.
sailing vessel managed TO elude the
vigilance of them all on Saturday night
and got safely into neutral waters be-
fore she was noticed. Then an attempt
was made to overhaul her, but the willy
captain, who halls from the land OF the
stars and stripes. was fully alive TO the
situation and refused 10 allow his ves-
sci 20 be interfered with. What will be
done about the goods remains TO be
seen. Transvdal agents are keenly on
the scent. but though the prey is al h
most under their noses IL does not seem
likely that they will secure It."
And they didn't.
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05
When Pirates Pi1Laged Along Lundy's Coast

The British ship Montagu is the lat
est, possibly the most important of
a long list of lost ships, extending
backward through many centuries,
wrecked upon the inhospitable shores
OF Lundy and the neighboring mainland
of North Cornwall. Indeed, those forty
harborless miles, save for the tiny
inlets of Bude Haven and Boscastle,
which lie between Hartland Point and
Trevose Head, have long been the
terror of mariners in Atlantic gales, or
in the deadly, creeping fog. Thus runs
an ancient local adage: From Padstow
Point to Lundy Light Is a watery grave
by day or night" Nor were wrecks in
olden days always due to the accidents
of wind and weather; neither was that
stormy. iron-bound shore the evil most
dreaded by luckless seafarers. Wreck
ers swarmed along the Cornish coast,
turning the admirable facilities offered
by their native land to most profit
able account. Lundy itself was a noted
haunt OF pirates, who did a roaring
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

n HROFESSOR WEISHEIT, the versa
tile inventor. was never discour-
aged for any great length of time
Though fame and wealth had, Tanta-
ius-like. been snatched from his very
grasp so often by some strange whim
Of fate. he was still hopeful He pos
sessed that enviable virtue Of patience
which goes to make great men, and, in
addition. an indomitable viii that ulti-
nIately leads TO success. When Mrs
Wesheit so ruthlessly yet innocently
destroyed the bottle containing the
p -ecious chemical by which sentient
beings were photographed on the at
mosphere and could be bottled UP for
future use, he was for a few days sad
and disconsolate, but he soon regained
his normal optimistic spirit
Warm weather having arrived plans
for spending the summer vacation nat
urally came up for discussion in the
Weisheit household Mrs. Weisheit was
anxious to go TO the mountains, but
the professors finances were hardly in
q condition to admit of so expensive
luxury, owing 10 his failure to realize
on some OF his inventions. At any rate
he always regarded the fashion of go
~
folks went with a kind Of superior con-
tempt. He always aimed to be different
in his mode Of life from the customs
OF the majority. He wanted to lead,
not 10 follow; but to please his wife
he promised TO construct for her q
mountain resort in the backyard that
would be a beauty and a delight.
The work Of constructing this new
and novel scheme kept the professor so
l,usv that he forgot all about his pre-
vioUs disappointments and went about
whistling and humming a favorite mel
oGy as usual
First he constructed a porch in the
back yard, which was a replica of the
l,olCh OF the average summer hotel or
boarding g-house. Then he painted a bit
Of scenery on the back fence, showing
lakes and mountains in the distance.
This done, he went to his laboratory
in the attic and out of wood construct
ed ingenious automatic figures, which
he subsequently attired in female garb.
They were made with the professors
usual skill. and clever mechanical ar
rangemsnt inside these figures moved
their hands and feet, turned their
heads. winked their eyes and spoke just
Two words like q doll, dress" and din
ncr." The figures complete, Professor
Wetsheit visited a secondhand dealer
in women's gowns and hired several
beautiful creations Of the dressmaker's S
art 10 drape the figures.
IN the yard he strung several thin
wires which could not be seen, and by
means Of an electric current got the
effect at night Of numerous firef1ies in
the distance. In addition he arranged
cowbells about, devices initiating the
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

kEN EATS all" said old man Green
hut. how a man'u chip in.
- 'thouten havin' the cards.
Minds me o. what the Good Book says:
Fools chip in where angels fear to
bet Stand to reason there amt moth
in to be made playin' poker when
YOU hain't got no hand. not 'thouten
you're reck'nin' on blufin' IL through.
An when IL comes 10 a matter O. bluff
they is most gently chanst o. study
In the difference atween genius an
talent
Most any man O. respectable tai
ents en- learn TO play draw poker
tol'able skillful if he'll give his days
an nights to it fr the first half of his
life
When it comes TO blufin', though,
pears like there's a call fr somepin'
more'n plain, ordinary talent. A reel,
hrst-class bluff is liable for to show the
highest kind O. genius. I've saw many
= man start in TO bluff outrageous
when he hadn't no provocation to it
more'n general sort O. notion t he
kind O felt il. Stands to reason bluff
like that's more'n likely to be called
Likely the best man on a bluff t
ever played poker in Arkansas, 'thout-
en- IL mought ha been some p'fessionaL
was the Rev. Abner Wilbrod, I used
10 preach in a little Methody chapT Just
outside O. Little Rock How come I
fust knowed him was some curious,
bein as I want gunnin' fr preachers
an he want lookin' fr heather at
that p'tic'lar time, which he were on
genteel enough fer to say 1 were a
heather, hasty like, afore he come to
know me better
Il were up to Little Rock one win
ter an a friend O. mine nama n
Stevens were in some trouble. His bar
keeper had been took sick, an bein' as
barkeeps was sca'ce an the saloon
had to be KEEP open all the time, count
O. tn Legislator bein' in session, Stew
ems was some put to ii Fr sleep. He'd
been workin' fr forty eight hours
steady when come in, an he was
blear-eyed f'r fair.
Hit were a act O. Christian charity
for to run his business for him rr a
few hours, so / made dicker with him
70 tend bar till he come back, me to
have the receipts. He kicked on pay
in any more, an I let IL go at that
bein' as he were my friend.
Il reckon 'twa'nt more'n ten minutes
I'm the time he went away when the
door opened easy an this here Rev.
Wilbrod kind o. sneaked in, easy like.
rubbin his hands, an smilin', oily an
some disagreeable.
He asst fr Stearns an ] says he's
gone home fr to get some sleep. an
then Rev. Wilbrod he says I being as
he Is ordained clergyman he is in the
habit o. getting akwyvity I'm Stevens
without money an without price, an
he'd be obliged IL I'd let him have
About four fingers o. the best corn
whisky on the same terms. An he
said it facetious like.
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

trade among the rich ga1leons passing
to and fro between the golden lands
OF the Far West and the port of
Bristol. Issuing from hidden hooks and
crannies among their inaccessible cliffs,
these sea-wasps fell upon peaceful
traders, slew, pillaged and burned.
often attacking and beating off the
ships of war sent against them
The position of Lundy Island is ideal
Tor such work. Situated a short dis
trance off Hartland Point. in the en-
trance to the Bristol Channel from the
Atlantic, all vessels plying to the rich
ports Of the Severn Sea must pay toll
to this terrible Scylla, whose long arms
stretched forth so cruelty Then the
tempestuous sea, the mighty sweep of
the tide. with rise and fall of over
twenty feet, together with the impene-
trable wall OF granite cliffs, made the
destruction of this hornets nest task
of extreme difficulty. Indeed, II was
not till the eighteenth century that the
Lundy pirates were finally extermin-
ated- Afterward, the remaining inhabi-
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

in an open roadstead- Then craIt at
sea, making for the supposed refuge,
were wrecked among the rocks, their
crews drowned. while the few who
might escape were probably murdered
by those ashore, who were nrmly con-
vinced that man saved from the sea
brought evil luck to his rescuer.
According to tradition. the entrance
to this inlet was originally closed by
the Shutter Rock itself until his
satanic Majesty was one day struck
by q brilliant idea. Tucking the shut
ter under his arm. he removed IL from
the mouth of the Limekiln and put il
down on the spot where il stands at
present. thinking that il would there
be more useful in bringing disaster
upon shipping. A device justified by
results, which must have been entirely
to the owner. throughout
many ages up to the present day
At Wellacombe, a lonely hamlet to
the west of Hartland. the inhabitants
are quite distinct from those OF the
A ship of the Invincible
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

Armada was wrecked here and the
crew, either liking the spot or hnding
escape from 1t impossible. settled down.
intermarried with the country folk.
and left a race OF dark-eyed. swarthy
descendants, who remain noticeabIy dif-
ferent from the native OF surrounding
villages. In this isolated spot their
Spanish individuality has been pre-
served through the centuries. Parson
Hawker. the well-known Vicar OF
Morwenstow. often travelled across the
moor to hold services in the Church OF
Wellacombe.
On these occasions all the population
gathered about the church door eager
to hear the news from the metropolis
of Morwenstow and the world beyond
Great indeed, was the excitement IL he
chanced TO bring a letter from any one
in the village. Doubtless 1t was from this
foreign settlement that Kingsley, once
curate Of Clovelly. drew the Idea OF
the wreck OF the Spanish galleon. which
makes the dramatic climax OF west
ward Hol"
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

tants of the island settled down to the
comparatively peaceful pursuits OF
wrecking and smuggling; but in time
even these disappeared slowly, for in
deed they died hard, under stern pres
sure from the law. Now, those rollick-
ing days are past. Only rabbits frisk
and seagulls wall about the pale purple
masses of sea-pink that clothe the dark
crags: the busy den of pirates is the
lonely haunt of the osprey and play
ground of the wild goat.
However. the profitable trade of
wrecking was still practiced with vigor
and success for many years, both on
the island and adjoining mainland.
Many wicked devices were resorted to
If ships did not come ashore fast
enough. False lights were set to de-
lude hapless vessels to their destruc-
tion. One favorite device was to tie
a light on horse whose forelegs were
loosely hobbled together: he was then
led along the sands. when the bobbing
light had exactly the appearance OF
that of ship riding safely at anchor
The Washington times., 1906-12-10
TIT1ES WANTS
AND OTHER
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS.
ONE GENT a VFoRD FOE

SITUATIONS WANTED HELP WANTED
ROOMS FOR RENT ROOMS WANTED
ROOMS AND BOARD BOARD WANTEI
The Washington times., 1906-12-10
Wall Paper.

VA. Y. MAHOSEY. the man that made
paperhanging famous reliable prompt cbeap.
legal guarantee covers all our work SEND
posta' for free samples and estimate Main
store, 0oS Pennsylvania ave Sc. telephone
East ll4-F, OF following agencies. De Maine
c. 3lJl II 81. NV Edlavttch's store
Bowie. Md; 10 Monroe ST Anacostia, New
comics drug store. Congress Heights: eg7
New York ave NV 1870 + st. Sc: ConaWay's 5
store Laurel. Md General Store Glendale.
Postofflce, Colonial Beach, Va Ingalls, Real
Estate Once. Hyattsvilis. Md. Ehaw-s Store
Twining city; L4oyd's store. Seabrooke, Nd
New agency, just established. LuerTson's drug
store Broukiand. del0-Tt
The Washington times., 1906-12-10
Dentistry.


CUT-RATE DENTISTRY THIS WEEK. IS
SET OF TEETH. So Gold Crown, formerly
$40, now 50. Filings soc All consultations
NAVY DENTAL PARLORS. COR. 5TH AND
+ SITS NV. Entrance. 635 Il St Phone
Main 4324-M. delft
TEETH WITHOUT PIATES-No extracting;
no pain; look. feel, act, and last longer than
natural teeth. shruuken faces made normal.
painless filing DIR. j. l. WILSON. I303 q
St NV nu25-3Jt
FIRST-CLAsS WORK, LOW PRICES-Set
OF teeth, IS up. gold crowns. s. up; gold
filings 81 up silver hllings. soc; work
guaranteed, no pain. DIR. GEO. L. Ed
MONDS. $40 Z 81. NV. no25-S0t
DRS. o, W, s. W. J. ELzEY, DENTISTS.
:. ". Cor. 10th and SIS. n w
Gold Crown ana BTidgswOrk Specialist
Satisfaction guaranteed or money positively
refunded. moderate prices Phone NJ 4252
Open evenings at branch Office, 400 Penn
syivnia Sc. 10 pm. no2Z-tf
The Washington times., 1906-12-10
Wanted-AgentS.

AGENTS-Canvassers mixers. peddlers street
men solicitors. mail order people. etc, should
buy KRAAfER'S BOOK OF TRADE Sc
CRETS. Regular price s.. 90 but bal. OF last
edition IS beiul; sold for 81 . long they
last. Every person who Is out OF employ
uleut can make more out or this book than q
person in ordinary business can on a capital
Of $40. 600. order quick. SIOUX PUB. CO.
sutherland. Ia de3-30t
The Washington times., 1906-12-10
Birds, Dogs, Etc.

THOROUGHBRED cocker spaniel; female. s..
one male, sloi months old. IS @ St ne.
deI0-St
PETS GIVEN AWAY free 20 good boTnas
Apply DOG SHELTER, Bethesda. on Ten
leytoWn aIectric road. das-gt
Ar XMAS PRESENT for al the family.
and one that viii be appreciated by the uttie
ores, is d sweet-siuglng canary and we have
theIn At All prices also parrots, aquarium
with gOldnshes, rabbits guinea pigs mon
keys, dogs, cats, and fancy poultry, all AZ
low prices SCHMlDS BIRD STORE. 713
18th ST nv. des-tf
TRY LEES BIRD STORE, 1901 5th 81. NV
Yellow heads, Amazon, Panama, Isle OF Pines.
Cuban. red heads and dwarf parrots, rnonkeys
mormosttls. goldfish. caHaries dogs. n0ZI-tf