The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1906-09-04
MKT UP WITH SPELN TRUBL z
PIaint OF an Ancient Typo who Cam
into the World All TOO soon.

Plaint OF an Ancient Typo who Cam
into the World All TOO soon.
DEAR INSTR ED1TR:
Why wuznt this speln reform brot
Unto use century ago? What a blesr
it wud hev provd to the kunury print
ing offices Then if the devil het
dropt colum Of tipe it cud hev biz
set up without case distribushun ready
fJr the papr. Praps the redrz Of tho2
dlz wud hev cussd the poor speln but
motifs the tim that wud hey bin sayd
And the speln wud hev just suited the
! presnt-da reformrz
| When wuz a boy q kids" had not
then bin invented) | he'd to go thru a
daily korse Of speln rite out the words;
explain the meniEg and uses of the
i !" guillemets (now tina call them
quotation marx), the { erotome" Gin
terrogation mark), and the ecpho-
nome exclamation mark), etc. But
thez namz hev past from site and hear
ing THE last two ar "snoops" Tor
snupes and scarers.'' So, if / he'd
landed on this erthly sfere at the be-
ginning Of the twentieth century /
wud hev savd much preshus tim that
mite hev bin DEVOTED to marblz and
mumbltypeg.
| uzd to wondr why certin word
wuz spelt I" rhthisic" when it wuz
ezyr to spell it "tizic. / no, now; it
wuz for tilologicl rathr than for flosof-
icl rezns.
And how much ezyr it IL to drop
the phi from words of the phantom !"
elias, substitute +, and spell them fam
tom, fonetic, filosofy, tizic, etc, altho
this duz not alwaz work vel in practis,
as in the case of the skulma' ans, who,
while attending a techers' institut at
Ninkey, invaded the offs Of The Shon-
gum Agitator and carrid off all the
lowr-case :" rs as souvenirs. And the
hart-brokn editr sorrowd in this wise
: Phancy our pheelings when we
phound that the phair pheminines had
appropriated all the lower-case ephs
oph our single Dhont oph type. And
we are hard beset in describing the
dinner menu, phor they had phried
phish, phritters, cophphee and phresh
phruits, mingled with cut phlowers
and phun."
BY the wa, Shongum is simplifed
speln. The unwiz Indians uzd to spell
the word (when they did spell Shawan-
gunk. Now, thre-silabl, ten letr
word hez, bin kut down to Two silablz
and sevf letrz-and the deriyashun
and mcHhlg of the word is totally lost.
And what a blesn reformd speln wud
hev bin TO men of letrz! When Rabe-
lais propozd as the it'll Of one Of his
bukz the nam Antipericatametapar-
Observation-Disclosures, he cud hev
shortnd the thirteenth siIabl by uzing
I for phi and thus savd two moshuns OF
the rist. And the kemist who sand
bagd the Semitic world with para
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
pseudothiohydantoin mite hev uzd
| I for PHI in the fifteenth silabl and
dropt the p in the seventeenth THE
letrz wud nevr hev bin mist.
| What SCIENTISTS and authrz viii do I'M
dr. the lash Of the speln reformrz is a
tut queschun to ansr.
Then again, what viii bekum Of the
letter and word curves . test in iden-
tifying the authrship OF disputed
work ? This Bertillon systm Of identi-
ticashun, which hez bin uzd to estab-
lish the authrship Of many Of the Bib
licl buks, vii hey to be set aside.
| The old stile of speln hez furnisht a
lgud foundashun for the litery a iYance-
ment Of the world; but it is now gro
ing shaky under the hevy tired OF the
speln reformrz. hev uzd the word
litery," and cite as authority the
Hon. Wash. Flanagan, Texas states
man and gratest Of all reformrz, who
Ispok Of them litry fellers," and askt
!" Where are we at
AN OLD. TIME Typo.