Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1906-03-28
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Joe-why does hen lay an eggf
Agnes-B Because 1t can't throw it-E1.
Casey-Phwat's n garage? Reilly
Sure, It's wan o. thin horseless livery
stables.-Philadelphia Record.
Jones-what's good for the tooth
ache? Smith--Walk about halfway to
the nearest dentlst's.-Kansas City In
dependent.
Wiggs-He doesn't know good
thing when he sees 1t. Waggs-0f
course not. He's critic.-PhladeI-
phla Record.
80 you and he are related by mar
riage?" ayes, in way. My first hus-
band is married to his second wife
Chicago journal.
"She married an octogenarian. didn't
she?" what for?' "Rheumatlsm."
Gee! Can't you get enough of 1t heref
Cleveland Leader.
Edith-so Ethel is engaged to that
millionaire: Isn't he too old2 Gladys
oh, no. She feels sure lie will live UNI
til the ceremony.-Judge.
Citiman-Do they keep servant
girl? subbubs--Oh; certainly not. But
as soon as one leaves they engage an
other.--philadelphia Press.
First Artist-But you love art for ito
own sake? Second Artlst-Why, yes.
I'm coming to the conclusion that that's
all there is In lt.-Brooklyn Life.
Smith( who has, been abroad lis
young higgins still paying attention to
your dnughter7 Jones-No; they are
married now.-C Chicago Daily News.
do you think Flzzles ever had an
| idea?" YES. He fell overheard into
the river once, and he had to think
to save his life Detroit Free Press.
"These Cinnamon are all as like as
two peas" remarked the visitor to
Chinatown. "Yes, or as two queues" adj
ded the tenderloin cop.-Philadelphia
Record.
us it not lovely when husband and
1 wife are always of the same opinion? ?"
Certainly; only 1t makes such a great
difference whose opinion 1t is."-Town
and Country.
wlggs-So the editor said scribbler's
brand Of humor was too delicate, ehf
Nagg-Well. that wasn't exactly the
word. He said 1t was sickly.-Phil
adelphia Record.
AIarketerAHow much are strawber-
ries? Dealer-One dollar box. Mar
keter-Give me some good sour pickles
they cost less and taste about tho
same. Cleveland Leader.
Desk Sergeant What did you arrest
this man for? Patrolman-stealia' pea
nuts from dago. Desk Sergeant
Enter a charge of impersonatlng an Of
ficer.-Cleveland Leader.
seryant-The plumber says this
check should be five dollars more. Cas-
tleton-But It's the amount he asked
for. Servant-Yes, sir. But you've
kept him waitin' for nearly an hour
Life.
why isn't that astronomer as fa-s
nous MS he deserves to be?" asked one
scientist. DeSanse, dhsWoieu tu0
other, .he insists on using his telescope
instead of his Imagination. " ASKING
ton Star.
would you marry woman who
had sued another man for breach Of
promise?" well, 1t would depend
largely on how much the jury had COM
PEELED him to pay her.-Chlcago Rec
oru- az. w
80 your niece Is marrieds dd sne
do welis On, my, yes Why, tney sos
money enough out OF the dupiicate pres
ents alone to pay the rent OF tneir nat
TOT year IN auvanc Lineage neg
ord-Herald.
Have you seen Professor Gabble'
ton, the scientist, lately = Yes. liz
tened to him for more than an hour
at the club last n'ght. indeed !! what
was ne taking ABOUT ne oiunt
say. -fuck.
General x.-Do you see that mani !
remember once when he charged our
batteries. Major WHY he doesn't
look military. General A-He isn't
He runs an automobiie station
l .. So
Don Nc ~ sweeping ~ your jug
menus iheres tnh' prominent nan !
mehtiohed just now, VINO am sur. ~, nas
Always pursued IN upr'snl me- lnat
may pe' Dut ne = never Caught up WIN
H-baltimore american.
You're rather young man to be left
in charge Of drug store" said the fus-