Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-03-08
Man About Town.


The barber shops in town shut up Oh
Sunday but the BARRIERS don't shut up
-
They may cut the wages in the iac-
tories. the mills and the furnace, nut
we never hear of their cutting the
wages of sin.
We editor tells his associates that
years of experience has taught MN
that the best way to manage wife Is
let her have her own way
So
Riches don't always bring happiness
but they can give poverty one mile
and sixteen rods and then beat it to
the station.
Brother Pyle is still insuring and
landscape painting. According to ms
convictions he will live the simple life
the next forty days--going to starVe his
sins.
Peter Beattie tells how he once saved
a young lady from drowning, with one
hand he held her beautiful head above
the water and with the other he crled
loudly for help
Summer time is coming when you
spend your hard earned money tor soda
water for your best girl which makes
her froth at the mouth and makes her
nose feel like her foot when asleep.
We know ladies who go to parties in
decolete gowns, Y shaped back aud
front. that weuld be terribly shocked if
a man should go in his shirt sleeves.
This town is conducive to longevity.
We have two residents here that can
prove by papers in their possession
that they were members of Geo. Wash
ington's body guard.
-
The Doctors tell some people here
thew need change of climate "For
the Lords sake'' we had climate
change here last week of 80 degrees in
II hours.
An East End friend of ours says his
wife makes him wear tucks in his night
shirt trimmed with pink ribbons so the
baby won't know the difference when
he walks the floor with it nights.
-
A couple of ladies talking on Broad
street the other day one of them re-
marked sis your daughter going to
make her debut this spring.. No, an
swered the other, we own powder stock
now aud don't have to do onr own
sewing.
A friend from Williamsport showed
us a letter he received from his wife
that puzzled him. The letter ended
baby is we'll and lots brighter than she
used to be, hoping you are the same,
am your loving wife.
-
Henry Zarps is noted for his polite
ness to the ladies. A lady came into
his store the other day who had been {
little previous in her toilet. Her bel
was few inches higher than it ought tt
be- Henry remarked in his 'suave'' way
lady your curvature is too much NJ
stairs'
e.
In small towns people should b'
careful not to be too personal. A young
lady remarked there is a hog in th
town that ought to take anti-fat.
~
We have about equal parts of HEAVIER
and hell in this world. So we ough
not to be perfect strangers in eithe
place in the other world.
s#4
If a person wants to see the lone
someness of lane leading to a grav
yard let him go up to Sizerville ant
wait two or three hours for a train.
~
A man living at the East End wear
his whiskers long tn save the expens
of buying neckties.
-
Bin Thomas says he had an uncl
that was shot twice through the bod
during the Civil War; came home wen
to Kansas, was carried two miles in
cyclone; lost his arm in a threshin
machine aud was finally kicked to deaf
by blind mule he had mortgage on
~
The peach crop is going TO be n fai
ure, the apple crop is froze up, ther
was two men drunk in East Empori
um but get your summer clothes ava
from the moth balls and sing "come-o
gentle spring"
#a
They have for sale ia our butche
shops a new kind Of chop 1t is mad
from small pieces Of meat pounde