davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Glenwood post., 1906-12-22

A Kansas editor says: "Mrs. Jones
from down the Smoky called this
morning and laid dozen eggs on our
table, The editor should have called
the good lady's attention to the waste
basket.
The Glenwood post., 1906-12-22

The San Francicso baker who was
compelled by the couit to pay $500 for
a stolen kiss perhaps had enough
dough left with which to continue
business.
The Glenwood post., 1906-12-22

A small landscape picture with a
herd Of cattle on it sold The other day
for $3, 500. They were probably thor
oughbred cattle. however, and cheap
at the price.
The Glenwood post., 1906-12-22

Il g told her he could never voice the
words he fain would speak.
That every time he tried it on his
courage sprung leak;
That when he gazed into her eyes,
blue as the skies above,
His coward lips refused to voice the
story of his love.
She gazed at him with sympathy in
her expressive eyes,
And once or twice her bosom heaved
with quite emphatic sighs,
Then, with nice, bacoming blush
and in tender tone,
She said: Perhaps you d better call
me up by telephone.
The Glenwood post., 1906-12-22

Sir Thomas Upton says he is com
ing again, but will have a "whoIe
some boat" next time. From his pas
experience it would appear that what
he needs is a sailsGme boat
The Glenwood post., 1906-12-22

That Nebraska farmer who sub
scribed for the Ram Horn believing
it to be live stock paper is now the
butt of great many jokes from his
more religious neighbors.
The Glenwood post., 1906-12-22

The youths who wear the Christmas
ties
Presented by their steady witches.
That mock the glow of sunset skies
In loud and CANDY color riches.
Who from attention do not shrink,
Meet startled stares and nobly brave
them.
Arouse our pity as we think
How they must love the girls who
gave them.
"Will you be mine?' the lover asked,
The maiden hesitated.
In deepest thought, he. near dis.
traught,
In anxious manner waited.
Soon on her face there did appear
blush red as peach's.
AS said she: "That's one sided.
dear
Let 8 both of US be each
The Glenwood post., 1906-12-22

AS lHlue uauCeQ y er CHlS COslly pr
>+<+>+>+>+>+>+>*>+>+>+<+<s
Secretary Shaw says the boys are
the most valuable things on earth,
and the dear old fellow is right. Ism t
he, girls?
A Missouri editor refers to his sane
tum as "truth foundry From
which, we infer, he turns out only
cast iron facts.
the other day who cannot understand
each others language. Well, per-
haps it is just as we'll.
A Chicago man has sent $l7 to the
national conscience fund. Seventeen
dollars worth of conscience is whole
lot for Chicago man to carry.
The country would be pie ased to
hear from Lillian Russell or Mrs.
Grace Smell Coffin Coffin Walker, etc. ,
ETC., on the trial marriage question.
Hetty Green says the most valuable
thing in the world is time. Convicts
who are striving by good behavior to
shorten their sentences will agree
with her.
The San Francicso baker who was
compelled by the coult to pay $500 for
a stolen kiss perhaps had enough
dough left with which to continue
business.
A small landscape picture with a
herd of cattle on it sold The other day
for 50, 500. They were probably thor
oughbred cattle. however, and cheap
at the price.
That Nebraska farmer who sub
scribed for the Ram Horn believing
it to be live stock paper is now the
butt of great many jokes from his
more religious neighbors.
Sir Thomas Upton says he is COM
ing again, but will have "whoIe-
some boat" next time. From his past
experience it would appear that what
he needs is a sailsGme boat.
A Kansas editor says: "Mrs. Jones
from down the Smoky called this
morning and laid dozen eggs on our
table" The editor should have called
the good lady's attention to the waste
basket
An eastern critic says that the Eng
lish language as spoken in America
is "violent, illogical. chaotic and
absurd" We have often held that
view of it during political cam
paign.
A Chicago club woman declares
that man does not truly love his
wife unless he is willing to eat any
thing she cooks for him. In other
words, the man who really loves mis-
wi fe Would he willing to die for her
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
kissing the Bible In Court.

Justice John NJ. Yirney. of New York
has abolished in his court the custom
of requiring witness to kiss the Bible
when he is sworn. 1t has never been
apparent why kissing the Bible SHOULD.
help a witness tell the truth. and we
now have Justice Yirncy's statement
that II has no such effect Justice Yir-
ney says it is Il Dissertation tending to
bring into common and contempt,lous
use things which ought to be held sa
cred. The distinction between n lie
and lie under oath. HIS If the Inter
were more depraved. has no foundation
in logic or morals. TO admit such n
distinction is a piece Of dangerous cas-.
uistry tending to corrupt the common
mind. TO make it the basis of the law
of perjury is TO confirm the popular be-
lief that legal distinctions have nothing
to do with reason and justce-Port.
land Oregonian.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
SEE USE FOR CORNSTALkS.
IOSvans Plan to I se Waste Products
for Manufacture of Paper.

lOWanS run 10 ne w HNtc
for Manufacture of Paper.
All Iowa is Interested in the plan of
turning the waste products of the corn
fields OF the western corn-produclng
States into paper. and paper of such
quality that it will compare favorably
with the famous Japanese vcllum. W.
X. Patterson. professor Of economics
and statistics Of the State University
of Iowa, investigated the process of the
National Fiber and Cellulose Company
while in Chicago in the interests Of the
commercial museum of the university.
Just common. ordinary cornstalks.
100000 tons of which are allowed
to rot yearly in several Western States
producing the greatest amount of corn,
is the material from which, expert
mentally. the company has already pro-
duced excellent paper at cost ranging
from $24 to $25 per ton. The cost of
manufacturing paper from wood pulp
or rags is estimated at from $50 to
$15 per ton.
Over 100000 has been spent In the
perfection of machinery for the hand
ling of this material. An improved
thrashing machine which separates the
stalk from the leaves. husks the ears.
delivers the stalks bound In bundles
ready for shipment and the parts of
the plant valuable for stock food into
the barn has only recently been pat
ented. These bundles Of cornstalks are
then shipped to depithing plant,
where after passing through several
operations the pith is separated from
the hard fiber surrounding the stalk
ty of paper. The hard outside fiber
Is used In the manufacture Of box
board.
The company has an option on a
paper mill at Kankakee. ILL.,. where the
machines have been operating success
fully. Every vestige of the stalk is
utilized in some manner. In prepar-
ing cellulOSe. guncotton, smokclcss pow
der, varnish. artificial leather rubber
substitutes. insulating materials, cleo
trical apparatus. linOleum and floor Gov
erings. papier mache and Interior dec
orations. picture frames and signs, pa
per coverings. lubricants. golf balls and
sundry other products different parts
of the stalk are said to be available
The development of this industry will
mean much to the corn producer OF
the middle west. Its progress will be
watched with intense lnterest.--St.
Paul Pioneer Press
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
THE HUMAN RIBS,
Man Has Twelve Pairs and Woman
Has just the same.

Man Has Twelve Pairs and Woman
Has just the same.
man who had been sick said he
was so thin he could count his ribs.
When | heard this statement l ask
ed. How many did you count" He
was unable to answer. Several friends
were standing by. and the query was
put to them. Not man could tell the
number of his ribs. One bright chap
said IN all seriousness than a woman
has one more rib than a man. because
man lost one in the fashioning of WONT
an. And, do you know. this belief is
common? Suddenly spring the question
on any acquaintance you may happen
to meet In the days journeying. Tn
less he be Il medical man he will in all
probability be unable to answer.
1t is an anatomical fact that man
has twelve pairs of ribs and woman
the same number. The four short ribs,
two on each side. are the free" ribs.
and in all probability Eve was made Of
one of these. a man could manage to
struggle through life without his free
ribs. and have no doubt that ere long
some corset manufacturer will require
women to have hers removed in order
to lengthen her waist and to reduce it's
girth To break Il few of the asternal
ribs (ten altogether) is nothing: to
break some of the sternal fourteen in
number) ones is far more serious
New York Press.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
WHERE WOLF SHOWS SKILL.
Wonderful Intelligence Displaye
In Ending His Enemies.

Wonderful Intelligence Displa yed
In Ending HIS Enemies.
The wol;'eS now found in Jackson
County are in size between the coyote
of the western plains and the big
wolves found In the Ozark region. In
general appearance they bear reseni-
blance to the Scotch collie dog They
live in unfrequented places, generally
in the timber or along the streams. and
favorite abode Is in caves or under
overhanging lodges of stone.
Scratching out shallow hole In the
ground. they line it with small sticks
and dry leaves. Here the mother wolf
takes care of her young while the faith
err is securing the country for miles
around in search of food. He Is rarely
seen by day, and then only for an in
slant. for he seems to melt away like
tawny hide making it easy for him to
disappear from sight.
1t Is said that he has an especial Xix
ing for mutton. especially young
lambs. which fall an easy prey to him.
and that he is most frequently found
where sheep are numerous. But he
will not turn his nose up at tender lit
tie pigs, and when he cannot find 9th
er things more to his liking he will
not scruple to become Il common chick
Ell thief.
But his skill in eluding his enemies,
especially human. is remarkable and
this is one of the most aggravating
things about him. If a hunter succeeds
in getting within gunshot of him the
chances are ten to one that no damage
will be inflicted. His hide Is so thick
and tough and is covered with such a
heavy coat OF fur that an ordinary dis
charge from shotgun has little or
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

hr most convincing evidence OF pres
ent American prosperity il tie appar-
ent ability of the labor market to alb
Sorb the shiploads of immigrants that
are arriving daily. Between the Isl of
january and the LIST of September 166.-
ia aliens --.Iti,i. 129 males and 13o,9lG
femAleS-landed in this country. Most
of them. judging from the countries
whence they came. must have been UNI
skilled laborcrs. There came from Aus
tria-llunGary 2lJ,OOO. from Italy 2OS.-
WD. and from Russia 10000. One
would suppose that the demand for
rough. unskilled labor had been fully
met by the earlier immigrants and that
there was nothing left for the ncwconl-
ers to do, but presumably they have
been able to turn their hands to some
thing. In London the bitter cry of tens
of thousands of unemployed is heard.
Their sufferings are SO acute and pro
longed that they can no longer remain
silent. No such cry is heard in the
, United States. not even in New York
City. where the poorest and least enter
prising among the immigrants take up
were in such straits as the starving
LOndoners, who recently sent depu-
tation to plead with Arthur Balfour,
they would be heard from. There is n
manifest and unprecedented demand
for skilled labor. 1t is known that
manufacturing plants are not only be-
ing run OH full time but are being en-
| larged so that they can meet the de-
mnnd for their products That does
not explain why it is that the unskilled
labOrers who are pouring in so rapidly
are able to get work ut wages that will
enable them to live. Perhaps one eX-
PLANTATION is that many of the men who
were rated as unskilled laborers Il few
years ago when they came to this couIl-
try have gone up Il step in the economic
scale. They have become skilled. or
partly skilled, wOrknlen in some indus
try, and the cheaper work they used
to do has fallen into the hands Of 9th
ers. There have always been immi-
grants who have remained at the foot
of the ladder, but the smarter. brighter
ones have gone ahead, especially when
they have acquired Il little knowledge
| of the language of the country. Not
withstanding the seeming ability of the
| country to take care of Il great mass of
unskilled labor. II decrease in immgra-
! ton would be desirable. There is IL
falling Off when times are hard here
and the fact becomes known abroad,
but immigration keeps up until then.
The result is that as prosperity de-
clines and the labor market is inactive
it becomes painfully apparent that the
influx of unskilled laborcrs has been
excessive. At present every able-bodied
wOrkingman who wants work can get
| 1t. There are idle men to he seen, but
they are. as IL rule, the lOafers and the
drinkers. So long us the present phe-
nomenal prosperity endures there APP
parently will be something for the raw
est, greenest immigrant to do.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

The readers OF this paper Will 30 .p!cnsod t.
,ea.n tnag Lnetc is at least on. dreacad diacsst
lat ecienoe has been able to cure Ia ell /
3,ag3s 3iid t}:;-t is cctarr1. halls CctGrTl
.'ute is the only positive cure known to III.
II Z .icni maternity. NGtGctn being com .iir
.l,nal di.eayc. require . consti.ulicrcl ircs@t
nent. Hal! 3 Ga',.i Ri Curot taner internally
citing directly II Gu tie liccu and llucet
aces OF the system, T. erehy ! st cy1rJ II
,unIntion OF tn disease, nno giving tic pf
lent strength by h0iiaing ur TIE c"lst..c.'c:
md assisting nature in doing it; Wul <. !,
,.oprietors have 80 much iaith in its cu-st,y
powers that they otier One i!un"rcd lo.iar
OF sny case tii..t j. fails t. cue. send tcr Ii.
ii Testimonials
Address +. J. CHENEY d CO., Toledo, G
sold by druggists, 75c.
Halls amily pills nrc the best.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
watches" ON Board shin,

On board all ships a series of
watches" are established SO that work
Is shared equally among the sailors. 'ro
aid this object also the crews are divid
ed into two divisions, starboard and
port A ships day commences at noon
and there are seven watches The
watch which is on duty in the forenoon
one day has the afternoon next day
and the men who have four hours rest
one night have eight hours the next
This is the reason for having dog
watches" which are made by dividing
the hours between 1 p. m. and D. IN.
into two.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
Corn Bread.

salt. a heoplng one of baking powder,
tablespoon Of butter Cor lard), a cup
and half Of sweet milk. and two eggs
three. when they are plenty. and then
somewhat less baking POWDER. Mix
the salt through the meal; beat the
eggs until very light. without separat-
ing. add the milk and pour over the
meal mix well. sift in the baking pow
der and beat hard for two minutes,
add finally the melted butter. pour into
a baking pan and bake in a hot oven.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
$ pring Medicine

The best is Hoods Sarsaparlla. 1t
is the best because it does the most good.
While it makes the blood pure, fresh
and lively. it tones the stomach to bet
ter digestion, creates an appetite, stimu-
lates the kidneys and liver, gives new
brain. nerve and digestive strength.
An unlimited list of wonderful cures
-4o3oo testimonials in the past two
years-proves its merit. In buYing medi-
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

Wash the spinach we'll and put into
kettle with no water except the
moisture clnging to the leaves Cover
closely and cook unit, very tender.
Drain and chop as fine as possible, then
whip light with tablespoonful of but
ter and three tablespoonful of cream.
Beat to soft green mass. return to
the saucepan. season to taste stir until
very hot. and serve on Il platter gar
niShed with bits of toast.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

Edward
distinguished
of the male
of
emlodes all
The readmugts displacement
o
Of
lifted and placed
she after the ling a relies
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

The tail of the fish was the first
rudder. and also. it may he added the
first screw propeller. Any one watch
ing the movements of fishes tails while
swimming will be struck with the re-
semblance to those of screw propcl-
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
Tomato Soup.

Boil one pint ripe tomatoes until
done add a lump of soda the size Of u
pea. and boil few minutes longer,
then remove from the stove and add
one pint and half of boiling milk
and season with butter, salt and pep
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

Boil together two cups of sugar and
three cups of water ten minutes. Add
the grated rind of one lemon and the
juice Of three. Allow this to cool, and
at serving time add one egg beaten
until very light and creamy and one
bottle of effervescent table water,
the mixture may foam. Serve with
cracked ice in the glasses.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
MALE HELP WANTED

Men wanted to learn Barber trade
in eight weeks; constant practice, ex.
pert instruction. Our graduates earn
SIS to SIS per week. Illustrated cata.
logue free. Call or write Moler Barber
College, 215 Occidental Ave, Seattle,
Wash
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

p URTON, HOWARD E.. Assayer an,
- Chemist, Leadville, Colorado. Speci-
men Prices: Gold, Silver, Lead, SI.vu
Gold. Silver. 75c.; Gold. SOC; Zinc o,
Copper, $1.00. Cyanide Tests. Mailin,
Envelopes and full price list sent on ap
plicatiOn. Control and Umpire Work
Solicited. Reference: Carbonate National
Bank.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

no effect. With an ease that is exas.
perating he simply lopcs out Of danger
ana Is soon lost in the Observation-Disclosures
City Star.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

Marrya don't believe In d.
vorce. then: Mugley-No. sir: I've got
too much sportin blood. Marryat-
What has that TO do with il: tlugle,
i believe in fight to the finish
Philadelphia Press.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES.
Itching. Blind, Bleeding, PrOtruding
Piles. Druggists are authorized TO- re-
fund money Is PAZO OINTMENT fails
to cure In 6 to IL days soc.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
c. p. R. IRRIGATED LANDS.

Write for illustrated folder regarding
c. p. X. IRRIGATED lands in Southern
Alberta between Calgary and Medicine
Hat on mail line c. =. Railway. Only
5000 per acre, including perpetual
water-right. Maintenance tax so cents
per acre Rich soil. Abundance of
water. Plenty of sunshine. Easy terms.
Low rates of transportation for Lana
seekers.
WEST AMERICAN LAND co.
Bailey Building, Seattle, Wash.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

The public eXecutioner of the grand
duchy of Hesse has been fined $50 for
casting disdanful glance" at the
judge OF the Supreme Court of Darn
Stadt.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
n.he. StufYed with Cheese.

Stone plump dates, opening at one
side only, fill with cream cheese. close,
and press gently into the original
shape, and arrange on plate.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

Whenever some women appear with
a new friend, others think, That's an
other one l have heard her abuse a
thousand times"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

II John d., Jr., Is not trifle more
careful John d.. ST.. may take him
ont in the woodshed.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
BLOOD POISON IL sl;.< Il,

The black flag emblem Of horror and dread When is hoel
that will
children, well
trail of dcolatol
TIE black flag the
of BLACKLIST hide
overtwin victims and crushing out the
matter how the blood be
this awful
the hous hateful and unlang symptoms begin to
polung
the first of the disease ale ulcer but as the blood
the
groin SWELL red breaks
eyebrows and often the body
the
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

Roni says he never accepts change.
This may be the reason he is making
such a fuss over the change suggested
for him
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

E3Ye Permanently Cured no hts or nervousness
T1t0 aflar flrstd of DR.. Hines 3reat Nerve
Ras0rer. Send tr Free aS2 trial bottle and treatise.
Or. II. Il Kline. LGi o3l Arch St., Philadelphia Pa.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

Probably no bride ever began house.
Keeping with Il more magnificent ar
ray OF pickle dishes than Mrs. Nr.ho-
las Io3igworth has.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

Its a great thing to be single"
I'VE bachelors realize that
But not like married man does :"
Press.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's
Soothing Syrup the best remedy to use
for their children during the teething
period.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

\ building may burn either down or
NJ. ii depends on whether the fire
STAT in the attic or basement.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

cine always Get the best
get Hoods.
Sold everywhere.
Liquid or tablets, 100 Doses ST.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

Mrs. S. l.. Carleton. Aver. Mass, says: For
perfect spring medicine to give strength and
thoroughly purify the blood. Hoods Sarsapa-
rilla is held in nigh esteem by our whole fam.
lily. | have used it from childhood and find il
as good for my children for myself"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

tunors to form on the brain, produc-
ing insanity and death. Not only
those WHO contract the poison suffer,
but unless the virus is driven from
the blood the awful faint is handed
down to offspring, and they are its
innocent victims. Blood Poison is in
decd a "Llacl, flag" Mercury and
Potash, so often used, never can cure
the trouble. These minerals merely
drive the symptoms away for awhile
and shut the disease up i'll the system,
and when they are lett of it returns
worse t,.an before. This treatment
not only fails to cure blood poison
but eats ont the delicate lining of the
stomach aud bowels. produces ChrOn
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02
To CURE A COLD I'M ONE DAY.

~ CO44 n CO0O An O06 OA4.
Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tab
let's. Druggists refund money If it fails
to cure. E. w. GROVES signature il
on each box. 25c.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-04-02

Several years ago had blood poison
and my flesh was in an awful condition.
ing put on them would do any good.
NY hair and eyebrows fell out and was
"a fright" NV mouth was SO sore 7
had to live on milk and water. I took
Mercury for a long time and instead of
getting better continued to grow
worse and my arms and hands became
solid sores. Ny legs were drawn SO I
could not walk and felt that my time
was short here if did not get some re-
lief. began to use your 5. 8. 8. and 1t
helped me from the start. After taking
it awhile the sores all healed, my rheu-
matism was cured and to-day. I am q
strong, we'll man. 1t got all the mer-
curry out of my system and it cured me
sound and well. ADAM SCHNABEL,
Evansville, Ind. No. ell Mary St.