Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-05-19

wny home rom New York / got into the
same seat in the smoking car with pros
porous loking fat man who talked mtein-
gently enough. though with slight foreign
accent, and who. he told me, had lived IN
New York ever since he was q small poy
Little by little he told me the story OF
his life. He didn't look 1t, 1uS ne vas
bartender who had only recently got an IN
terest in a thriving saloon. After wnlie
he said he was on the way to niagara
Falls.
NOW. what gets me- he said. rs wna I
this here Niagara Falls is. I've never peen
there-Ive never been west OF HoDokeh.
being kept pretty busy behind the bars, you
see-and I'd like to know how big place
Niagara Falls H. It's queer name ne TOT tra E
anybody should think I'd Ike to 60 there.
"'Why are you going? asked him.
well, you see. the member OF the leg
islature from my district came mao 3. INC % 70
Niagara Falls. / said no. didn't have the
time and didn't want to see It. He saio ne
had pass there that would run OUT pretty
soon. and twas pity to waste IT 49, %
q queer thing to ride all day In railroad
train to see How far do you goI
"sAbout q thousand miles farther west,
Gee! That must be clear to the Pa
eific ocean. mustn't it7' was his comment
on that.
Flat-Dweller's Predicament.
ooh. WE'LL" said the man who had been
listening to the others, that bartender
wasn't American born But can tell you
a story about a city greenhorn OF native
birth that will match the one about the
man who thought Strawberries grew on
bushes. -.
aThia chan was born in a small town, too.
After getting through college ne maIrieG
and settled down to live in city nat. !
live outside, and persuaded him 70 Jake
a house near mine In the suburbs Hes nv
ing in it yet, but he had all sorts OF trouDie
at frst So did I. He didn't know any lh1ns
about living In house by himself. he
moved out In the fall. and the first cold
snap froxe ND the water pipes, ana mao
to help him then and on numerous otner
occasions. .bo,.
o'clock one December morning just wnen
wasi enjoying my last sleep. Days were
short then, and 1t was still dark. l WASH
ready to wake up, but he Wakeneo me al
right by throwing stone at my Winoow,
meaning to make noise enough to break
my slunber He threw 1t SO hard ne broke
the glass and scared me out or halI a
years growth raised the window, pokeo
nv head out and asked what was the mat
ter.
"'Sorry I b-broke pup-pane of glass
he suffered. evidently very much excited,
but my house is a-going to bub-biow up
Hurry up and cuc-come over ana heip mo
stut-stoD It.
"I hurried and ran over to his house. halr
dressed, through the dark and cold. When
got there found the trouble was In the
hot-water tank attached to the range. The
servant had got up early to get an early
breakfast for him, and had a ripping hot
fire going and the water in the tank had
all been turned to steam. 1t was fairly
shaking and sizzling with the pressure.
When ! showed him that all he had to do
was to turn a faucet he was very much re-
lieved."
I'll match that" said the man who told
the strawberry story, with a true yarn
about q pretty bright young fellow. born
in New York, who was trained nurse. My
brother was Ill and this young man took
care of him. I went to spend an hour or
two with him one evening when he was be-
ginning to convalesce. We talked. over our
boyhood days in the west, and the nurse
was very much interested in our reminis-
cences Of apple stealing. grape stealing.
Halloween sprees, etc. Finally the nurse
asked US how far west we lived when we
were boys. We told him Indiana, and he
said he supposed there must have been lots
Of Indians out there twenty-five or thirty
years ago.
Then we began to invent and tell Indian
yarns, yarns of hairbreadth escapes and
shootings that fairly curdled the young
mans blood. He took 'em all In. and later
told all the other nurses in the hospital
about our imaginary adventures.
well. this Is my station. The city green
horn is surely as green as any country
greenhorn that ever lived. So long,"