The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1906-05-09
TIE PATENT WASHER
a HUMOROUS STORY OE RAKE
UMIN hKINUM'S
Experience Trying to Interest Farm
er Rubin in Get Rich
Quick Schema.

one afternoon When Skinum, wash
Ing machine agent drove up in fine
two horse trap. Before starting out
from Cherryvil1e Skinum got a full
description OF Farmer Rubin from the
landlord OF the b otel at which he had
stopped. He bad found out al about
Mr.. Rubin, who was welI-to-do
farmer and q good citizen, and so
when he saw him standing in his
yard he addressed him very pleasantly
and in the tone OF Al old friend.
Good evening, Mr. Rubin"
'Howdy," SAID Farmer Rubin,
walking towards Skinum. Won't
you light"
MY mama is Skinun, Mr. Rske
Umin SklnUm, of Skinnersourg," said
the agent holding out his hand, as
F.rmer Rubin approached.
"Glad to meet you" said Farmer
Rubin: as he took the PR f ,red hand.
'Can I spend the night with you,
MI. Rubin. I want to talk over 3
business proposition with you, said
SkinIm.
Yes, como in, make yourself at
home, while I stable your team" said
Farmer Rubin.
Fine plaza you have here, :" said
Sktnum to Farmer Rubin as the lat
ter came in from St bling the team.
Eyes, by hard work and economy,
we manage to make ends meet on it, !"
replied Farmer Rabin, nodestly.
After talking about the crops, the
weather, the Ssn Francisco earth.
quake and other matters for some
time, Farmer Rubin and his guest
retired for the night, the agent find
ing a comfortable ted in the spare
room, and the farmer going to his
own room.
'That is mighty peart young
fellow. Sharp as the Gillette rszor l
bought at the book store in Cherry.
vile, and powerful friendly" said
Farmer Rubin to his wife as be was
getting ready to turn in.
I'm great inventor" said Skin
um at the breakfast table next NON
ing. Il have invented an air ship
that will revolution the carrying Cf
passengers and freight. 1t will do
away with railroads and ships Of all
kinds, because it can do the work
they do 80 much better and cheaper.
regret to destroy 90 much valuable
property, but I'm reconciled to the
sacrifice by the thought that the
world at large will be benefited by
my wonderful invention. Then again,
have invented a wireless telephone
that will make the Bell people feel
like thirty ceuts when they see it.
It costs comparatively nothing to es-
tablish an exchange aud costs so little
to operate it that it will knock out all
c,m mpetition In three months afser It
is put on the market. In fact it
practically constructs and operates
itself. There will be no need Of
linemen OF hello girls with my system.
My only regret Is thatit puts so many
people out OF business, but the pro
gress Of the world can't be retarded
by our sympathy for others"
These great and wonderful inven.
tions will bring me fame and for.
tune" continued Skinum as be 'glsnc-
ed a: Mrs Rubin "As president OF the
company that has been organized to
promote and put them in use, ]
could take my ease, but my heart
yearned to Go something to help the
farmer, Who feedeth all, aud espe.
cially their good wives. So l went to
work to study up something that
would Tighten the burden OF the
household d1udgery. and the first
thing I thought Of was a washing
machine, and so proceeded to invent
the best thing OF that kind on the
planet"
Skinum went CT to say he had one
Of these wonderful labor saving,
double-back-action machines with
him, and would be glad to exhibit Its
wonderful qualities to his hosts as
soon as convenient. He said it would
stand TIE supreme test OF washing
the printing office towel as white a.
the driven snow, and you know, he
said, with az { # ;rt to be funny, that
the average printing ofice towel is so
dirty that it will stand alone.
After Skinun had gotten through
with this glowing description OF bis
machine. be brought it il for Mr.. and
Ms. Rubin to inspect. They ex-
pressed themselves ss being pleased
with it, and Mrs. Rubin erquired II
Skinun was selling them.
mo-" said Skinum, I'm visiting
few of the leading farmers for the
purpose OF interesting them In it and
to get thsm to help me introduce 1t.
I'm establishing agencies to sell 'ccn-
tracts which gives the purchaser
the right to sell contracts OF ma
chimes as he prefers. T0ere is big
morey In selling contracts, and as
you have been very kind to me I %ili
put you in on the ground flor Mr..
Rubin II you will buy an agency to sell
contracts. >"
''T don't exactly understand the
cor tract selling feature OF the
scheme" said Farmer Rubin.
"Ch, that Is easily explained,
Skinum replied. Agencies cost from
$3.50 to IS 900. II you buy an agency
you can sell contracts to any one /
anywhere who may wish to invest in
the schane. Should you sell a $3.50
contract you would be entitled t.
s125, the sale of a $500 contract
would give you $3.50. a 1000 con
tract sale would net you 1850 and a
IS 900 contract sale would bring you
In the handsome SUN OF 81, 500, and
the company that owns the patent on
the washer and originated the con
tract selling scheme, would receive
the remainder of said amounts. Y Ut
10 al