Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1906-09-21

girl has got one of her eyes red and
inilamed. What would you advise her
to do?"
Olympia Doctor: "Tell her to stop
looking through keyholes."
If President Roosevelt wants to
make himself solid with printers and
linotype operators outside the govern.
ment printing Office, he might do a
little missionary work in reforming
the spelling of Russian names.
A woman's idea OF Heaven is place
where she won't have to spend half
her time tucking her short back hair
under the long strands, or feeling
every few minutes to satisfy herself
that her skirt is not gaping behind.
THAT 1l0-pound watermelon lie from
British Columbia sounds just like Kan
sas corn-field lie."-Seattle Republican.
Just imagine the editor OF the Re.
publican only giving three lines to the
subject. Traditions and tastes would
seem to be changing, indeed.
Nelson got the money, Cans the
victory-on foul-in the latest prize.
tight. 1t looks like frame.up on the
wise sporting public again. The wise
sporting public are the only profitable
suckers to be skinned by the promot.
ers of fakes.
Ii the voter acted on the contention
of the politicians that it is his duty to
support the party, no matter who is
nominated, the rascals would keep
their grip forever. After all, the safety
of the country depends on the inde-
pendent voter.
Governor Joe Folk OF Missouri, in.
siets that we are on tho threshold OF
a great political awakening. The New
York Sun insists, as matter of fact,
the country is suffering from insomnia,
owing to tho bawling OF platitudes by
professional reformers.
Every stranger that enters the
White House at Washington is
counted by an automatic register. The
instrument is held in the hand of one
of the watchmen stationed at the
door, and every visitors arrival is re.
corded. for official purposes.
In some countries q rainy day might
give one the blues-but it only bright.
ems life for the clam-digger." III it
rains upon a Sunday it may keep q
few from church, but not for a mo.
ment does it shake my faith in the
bright future Of Puget Sound.
l heard q heated discussion the
other night as to the sex of angels in
Heaven. Those engaged in the con-
troversy should have first settled the
question as to the existence of angels.
/ have seen q good many, but they
were all Of the female sex and in this
world.
It is stated that Mr.. Bryan has
earned more money while travelling
in Europe than he would have been
paid in the same length OF time as
President of the United States. Still
he is willing to take a steady job for q
while and stop wandering from place
to place.
An Olympia woman says that it is Q
mistake to suppose that men would
be more domestic il their wives should
feed them better. She says q highly
fed man becomes so frisky that it is
impossible to control him. To reduce
him to . condition of humility and
subjection is to serve him plain food
and make him bring in the wood.
I believe that the paper that ex.
presses its opinions frankly aud fear.
lessly on all important public ques-
tions, will come out ahead in the long
run. That's the sort of newspaper all
classes like to read. The editor may
receive some cussing from those who
do not agree with him, but those who
do the cussing will get over that after
while.
Secretary Bonaparte virtually lays
the existence of anarchy at the doors
of the church and the school. house,
when be says that it is the result of
"the decay Of religious faith and .
measure OF superficial and therefore
unsound popular education" II the
Secretary is correct, tho reformation
of society in this respect must first
commence with the preachers and
teachers.
Scene Clergyman, in private Office
OF a newspaper, talking to the editor.)
Clergyman "You editors dare not
tell the TRUTH"
Editor: "You are right. Aud the
minister who will at all times tell the
bare truth about his members, alive
or dead, will not occupy the pulpit
more than one Sunday, and he will
find il necessary to leave town in q
hurry"
Clergyman departs looking very
thoughtful, while the editor proceeds
with his work.
"No, sir" said the king OF the hobos,"
the fat woman with Barnum e.
Bailey's circus. is not in it for a mo-
ment. She is back number, one of
the has beens. The young lady I
speak Of is known to every one Of our
members in good standing. I tell you