The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-03


- ------.-=s-s.=s-=
II HUM0R OF TIE DlY
.As near as kin make de difference
speculations dat wins is investments, an
dem dat loses Is gamblin' w ashington
Star.
Why did Titewood choose to be mar
fisq Dy 1p tl.t 1nSsf 81 3 4oe too
long. ard he had hired the carriage by
the hour-''-Cleveland Leader.
What has your boy been studying7''
asked the neichbor.
Well. fur one thing answered Farmer
CorntosseI, he's been studying botany.
Botany Is what teaches man the
names of a whole lot of things ne hasn't
sense enough to raise. ''-Washington Star.
Wigg-she says the fellow she is going
Wagg-w5hat a shame to wake him up.
Philadelphia Record.
Little RclaO-Pop. what is an upright
my son.-Woman's Home Companion.
stena-They are always trying to IN
vent a bottle that can not be re-
Bsiia-Thex ought to invent a ring that
Harkins-why doesn't Walker stop to
BarkinsZIIe used to. but introduced
him to the girl he married: Neither OF
them recognize me now.-ilt-i5its.
Patron-vhat are they holding the cur
UsherET i's g great actress is pIayin' out
a hand O. bridge with two supers and the
calIboy.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
MY father objects to you because he
says that you are unable to meet your
creditors Is that true. Algy?
meet them wherever / go.''-stray Stories.
so Bill. after leaving Harvard, went to
Texas. What's he doing there2'
Gone in for arborculture''
Not ctly-naking tenderfoots throw
up their hands. Boston Transcript.
Mrs Henpeck-They can't punish blga-s
my too severely. Ne one should have any
sympathy for the man who takes one
Mr. Henpeck.rhe idea. Maria! Do you
think I should be sent to jailz-Philadel-
Senator. how. does it seem now. that
you h. have attained wealth and influ-
well replied Senator Badge with
far-away look IN his eyes. ITS relieved
me ms. Of lot Of worry, but it's getting
Sentinel.
Talk about human beings. having de-
scended from such as you,'' exclaimed
Pol. They re much more likely to have
e1Nolved from birds. You can't speak their
4 don't deny said Jocko, that they
got their long tongues from your family
It was then that the two had their cele-
grated monkey and parrot time.-Chicago
Tribune.
When a man loses his money! remark
led the cynie, he finds out who his friends
Yes" answered Mr. Dustin stax. 1T
Is a wise compensation When man
ing to hard luck stories and gets a chance
to make another. washington Star.
Knicker-Did that graduate ask you IL
her hat was on straiEht2
Bocker-4es; it was the only thing on
earth she didn't know.-New York Sun
Charley {ldespairingIy)-I fear shall
Harry agingly)-Nonsense. man.
Lots of other fellows have. Why should
not you2-Arnerican Spectator.
In driving asked the nice young
thing do you keep to the left or right?''
keep in the scenter- Boston Transcript.
one of those Cooks tours?
Second Suburbanite-Of. yes; I've visit
ed every intelligence office from one end
Ct the city to the other.-Woman's Home
Companion.
Nell-Last night was the happiest in nv
ure.
Bell-what do you consider one round
Nell-An engagement -ing.-Tit-Bits.
You have to refuse a good many girls
Jobs during the course of a day"
Yes. said the head of the firm
And yet they go out smiling How do
they manage it?,'
Il tell 'em we think it inadvfsable to
employ extraordinarily beautiful girls -
Louisville Courier-J Journal.