The Washington herald., 1906-12-23

at the very apex OF the charity Christmas
tree. 1T looks stunning, doesn't it?'
The bachelor folded his arms and gazed
up al the widow critically.
Stunning" he agreed. But why are
the incest things all at the top-where we
can't reach them?'
The widow withdrew her fingers from
his shoulder and leaned hurriedly over to
transfx a tinsel heart on side branch.
They aren't" she said squirting one
eve 10 ascertain that the heart hung
straight. They only seem the nicest-be-
cause we CAN'T reach them. From here.
she went on. returning to her scrutiny Of
the pink-and-gold angel, he looks Ike
real angel, but If we should take him
down he'd turn to paper and wax and
paint again"
Il wonder" said the bachelor, studying
the widow. thoughtfuIIy. from the sprig
of holly berries in her ruf1ed hair to the
bottom Of her ruffed lace frOck, If l
should take you down-what you'd turn
TO-"
rs that butterfly on straight" asked
he widow. anxiously. bending over 70 re-
adjust gilt clothespin with green tar
Iatan wings.
From here" went on the bachelor. ig-
noring the DETECTION, you look like a
real"
It's the Illusion" broke in the widow.
which makes anything seem nice. And
it's distance that lends enchaHtment to
the Illusion"
I'D rather put up with less enchant-
ment," complained the bachelor, and less
distance, if"
OF course you would" The widow
iabbed a pin into a paper kitten and fast
ened it firmly to the tree by one eye.
That's tn trouble with a man. He al
ways wants to tear down his illusions and
see what they are made Of. From the
time wEts d boy insists on seeing the
/ wheels go round in his fathers watch, or
( on taking his patent NH 70 pieces TO ind
out how it works. 10 the time when he
/ insists on knowing what his wife pays
for her hats and how she gets the blush
on her cheeks and the curve in her waist
/ line. he is forever trying 10 get behind
! the scenes Of life. instead Of being salts
/ fed 70 sit out in the orchestra chair and
4 take things-for what they seem 70 be.
/ If a woman can possibly idealize a hus-
band or lover she Will shut her eyes
and cling to that ideal like grim death,
even il she may know she is being fooled;
but a man is not happy unless he has the
I facts: and facts about anything aren't
/ very pleasant
ooh. I don't know" the bachelor squint-
I
about your pompadour, and the tilt OF
/ your nose
I 1T was the same way in the Garden OF
I Eden" went on the widow, twisting a
\ string Of popcorn about a refractory
brauch without noticing the bachelor.
/ Were you there. too" The bachelor
looked impressed.
I've always believed" pursued the
widow. Undauntedly. that the Tree OF
/ knowledge was just a Christmas tree
/ and that all Adam and Eve did was to
take down their illusions and find out
THAT they were paper and paint and
wax?''
/ The widow nodded.
Yes she agreed: "and that's what al
ways happens at the end of the honey
moon The moment the holiday OF love is
| over married people begin tearing down
/ the trimmings off the tree Of illusions one
/ by one: or sometimes one OF them just
/ kicks the whole thing over and brings /,
crashing TO the ground and there is moth
/ ing left but burnt-Out candles of hope
and broken beads of sentiment and tat
/ tered remnants of falkland paste and
/ paper happiness.
/ And an awful mess" concluded the
bachelor. oh, well" ne went on tying
a tarlatan bagful of bonbons TO a high
/ branch. its just as wise to clear away
/ all the rubbish at the beginning Of the
! game, and get down to realities. isn't it?'
The turkey dinner and the cranberry
l sauce. and the boiled onions. and-the
I sawdUst?' inquired the widow. cynically.
Yes agreed the bachelor. cheerfully,
/ they're the substantialities. I can't see, -
/ he added, trying in vain to stick a cold
I candle on a refractory twig, what peO-
/ pie want TO string charity Christmas
/ tree with illusions for. anyway. Orphans,
1 at least, need the realities like"
shoes and stockings and beefsteak and
potatoes? o. finished the widow, scornfully.
/ turning 50 quickly on the ladder that
/ she almost tilted over. of course. you
/ can't see. A man never does see the
use of anything he can't eat or wear Or
/ or-understand. Even orphans get enough
/ of the sOrdid realities in this life. It's
| the Illusions we're all starving for. like
ideals and happiness. and love and Santa
/ Claus, and things"
Love and Santa CLAUSE" repeated the
bachelor, staring at the widow blankly.
We'll. aren't they alike?' asked the
( widow. turning to the tree again and
| twisting a string of glass beads more ef-
/ fectively
If you mean they're both myths. %
agreed the bachelor.
| Yes" returned the widow promptly,
and you never can tell what either one
of them is going to leave by your fire.
side"
But you can be almost certain II isn't
what you expected" declared the bache-
/ lor cheerfuIly. "Tbe man who is long
ing for a real wife generally gets a wax
doll OF a mechanical toy" he added sad
/ ly
And the woman who wants a real
husband" retOrted the widow, nearly
always gets a aanikin that never speaks
except 10 say 'Umphl when you prod It
/ or a tin soldier with a stiff back and a
hollow head, or a lot of taffy or paste
/ sentiment
"Or nothing at all" interposed the
/ bachelor.
and then Santa Claus and Love disap-
pear up the chimney or through the win
| dow" concluded the widow. land you We
got nothing left but-but-'
"Sawdust and memories" sighed the
bachelor.
And neither one of them is a bit fair. y
| pursued the widow, sitting down on the