davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-05-19
On tho styxville Golf Links.

On the styxville Golf Links.
"Bozzy," chuckled DR.. Samuel John
son, ''You were but q novice at the
game"
The amiable photographer teed OF
on the links Of the Styxville Golf club
and he and Boswell, his caddie. leis.
urely followed the ball.
"Yes, Bozzy." continued DR.. John.
son, II used to think you the most en-.
terprising press agent that ever footed
horn, but when compare your work
with the twentieth century article !
am convinced that you were the
merest alphabetarian."
II put down everything that hap
penel." said Boswell, humbly.
Pooh! pooh! A press agent who
publishes only what has happened
would starve to death these days. But
/ have you even on that count. How
about the time lost my pantaloons
and was too late at the Cheshire
Cheese. Not a word about 1t in your
celebrated Life Of Johnson i. By
the way, what became OF the ball? Did
you keep your eye on it?'
Boswell located the gutta percha,
and remarked that he considered the
loss of his patrons unmentionables
too trivial an item for q dignified biog-
raphy.
Sir" cried Dr. johnson, relapsing
into his ancient stilted manner, you
are an unconscionable blockhead.
When, not long ago, Booth Harrington
lost his pants great ado was pade
by his press agent, and the papers
were full of it. Twas not half 50 good
. tale as mine. You might have
scribbled a whole chapter about it.
Dick Steele made an excellent jest on
the matter, and Noll Goldsmith . set
of verses. Davy Garrick gagged his
lines with 1t, and put the house in an
uproar. Give me the cleek."
Leaning on the club he gazed at his
abashed biographer with q twinkling
eye.
NAY, Bozzy. you were very good
press agent for our day, but you would
not stand much show IL you were on
earth to-day. Harrington wouldn't
keep you a week. You couldn't caddy
i've minutes for Irving Bacheller or
Ham Garland, or Hop Smith, or any
other modern man Of letters. Boz,
you're q back number"
The golden-egg goose at the Metro
politan opera house, New York, is get
ting thin and losing feathers. Laving
two eggs day on poor feed IL hard on
any goose, and will eventually kill it.
Prophets predict the early demise Of
the Conried goose.
=
Modern Conversation.
49, --.s-, you know; ---l
don't you know"
e. =, you know what mean
--, you know"
''You see what mean, ,----|
you know; -, you
know what mean" |
e. you know; you !
know: - you know"
& (
Andrew Carnegie is writing his life |
history, which he hopes will become q |
classic "for the guidance OF young |
men," Senator Beveridge will write
IN introduction for it, and the maga-
Eine Success has asked for the serial
rights. Carnegie Libraries already IN
existence will be supplied with 1000
copies each, and new libraries will be
stocked with the volume.
Prof. Gunton pooh-poohs the state
ment that the first Mrs. Gunton helped
IN his literary work. II her life de-
pended on It, she could not write q
page" he declared. Very likely!
Wives Of literary men are seldom able |
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-05-19

China and Japan have fewer foreign
residents than any other countries.
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-05-19

DR.. F. JULIUS HEINTZ,
Tenders his professional services to
the people OF the parish.
Once and residence: Abita Springs,
next to the postOfiice. Phone 1872.
Private diseases specially.
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-05-19
DIR. ]. F. PIGoTT',

Covington, La.
Residence in the Exterstein raised
cottage, two blocks west of public
school building.
Offers his professional services to the
public.
Office at the City Drug Store on Co
lumbia street.
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-05-19

The golden-egg goose at the Metro
politan opera house, New York. is get
ting thin and losing feathers. Laying
two eggs day on poor feed isnhard on
any GOOSE and will eventually kill 1t.
Prophets predict the early demise Of
the Conried goose. @
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
TOGO WAS MUCH SHOCKED.
Admiral HorriAed to Find that His
Photos Were Bought.

ADMIRAL Horrihed to Find that His
Photos Were Bought.
Last autumn Admiral TOgOs humili-
ty led him into what he considered
terrible piece of extravaganza, writes
Mrs. Hugh Fraser in the Worlds
Work. The court photographer, Ma
ruki, had once taken his portrait, and
everybody was buying NATURALLY
enough. Togo sav himself In all the
shop windows, and was very much
troubled. He walked into Marukrs
one morning and called for the head
of the firm, who arrived with smiles
and bows to welcome his illustrious
client, but the admirals face was
stern. Il am shocked to find" he said,
that the people are buying my photo
graph. 1t is very wrong that they
should spend money on the portrait of
such a stupid person. l wish to have
the negative, SO that you may print no
more copies"
Maruki (who told me the story him
self was making fine harvest of
the picture and had no desire to part
with it. your excellency will have
to pay for the negative" he explained.
II know" the admiral replied, sadly;
what do you ask for it?"
Maruki considered for a moment,
and then named what he thought
would be a prohibitive price-2O yen.
Togo sighed. THAT is a great sum
for a poor man like me to pay-but l
must have the negative" So he count
ed out the money and carried off the
picture.
"You ought to have presented it to
him." 1 cried, Indignantly, when I heard
the story.
Business is business" was Mr.. Ma
rukis curt reply.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
Mother story Shattered.

An American woman who has lived
in the Philippines writes that no West
erner ever quite catches on" to the
Oriental mental process. II once had
OCCASION" she says, Ito have a dress
made by a Chinese tailor In Manila,
and furnished an old dress IS pattern.
According to the time-honored version
of the story, our new garment should
have come back the exact reproduc-
ton of the old one, patches, faded
spots and all. But such was not the
case. When the gown was finished
and delivered 1t was entirely differ
ent from the pattern given, and to all
our reproaches our Chinese friend I'M
gave the one calm reply !:
'Senorita likee this one, too velly
much blime by 1t was In the little
fitting room OF this tailor that one
sees this notice: 'Whomever enter
this room for to try on your clothes,
pleas you look out for your anythings
when you put them down. Per order.
All Sing."-Woman's Journal.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
what .sGalluses Mean.

The "gallus" marks the freeman and
the man Of genuine, unpretending cul-
ture and civilization. Your sneb and
your savage abhor it. In Mesopota-
mia the wild Lashibazook wears
belt; in Yucatan the Indian wears
girdle of sharks teeth; In Senegam-
bia the shameless cannibal sports a
gunnysack; in Atlantic City, few
years back, the dudes used to wear
sashes. But find man who, when he
throws off his coat to begin his daily
foil. lays bare a pair Of heavy, sky
blue galluses, and you'll find a man
who pays his way in the world, loves
his wife, rears his children in the fear
of the Lord and votes the straight
Sun.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

months could not get ont OF the house.
was nervous, restless and sleepless at
night, and lame and sore in the morn
ing. Sometimes everything would
whirl and blur before me. I bloated
80 badly could not wear tight cloth
ing, and had to put on shoes two
sizes larger than usual. The urine was
disordered and passages were dreadful
ly frequent. I got help from the first
box OF Doan's Kidney Pills, however,
and by the time had taken four boxes
the pain and bloating was gone. have
been in good health ever SINCE"
Sold by all dealers. 80 cents a box.
Fostsr.Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

by local applications as they cannot reach the
diseased portion OF the ear. There is only one
way 10 cure DEAFNESS, and that is by constitu-
lioRal remedies Deafness is caused by an in
famed condition of the mucous lining Of the
Eustachian Tube. When this tube is inf1amed
you have q rum bling sound or imperfect hear
ing, and when it is entirely closed, Deafness is
the res ult, ard unless the Inflammation can be
taken out and this tube re toIed to its normal
condition, hearing will be destroyed forever;
nine cases out of ten are caused by Catarrh,
which is nothing but an intlamed condition OF
she'mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness Caused by catarrh) that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for
circulars, free.
. Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

An extraordinary demand for 1O-cent
pieces has developed within the past
week or two, so that United States
Treasurer Treat says that he is unable
to meet it and that the minis would
have to be set to work The cry for
dimes comes from every part of the
country, and there has been nothing
like it in the history of the country.
One theory Of the shortage as held by
treasury official is that the people
are so prosperous that they carry the
loose change in their pockets in order to
hear it jingle
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

exposed again and
again to changes OF
weather. It 10 NO
wonder my kidneys
gave out and l went
all to pieces at last.
For five years / was
fading away and final
lv 40 weak that for aix
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
lnuIYnaUlOn.

" Why are you so indignant toward
that American art collector?
because" answered the European
picture owner, "he takes an unfair ad-
vantage. He presumes on his great
wealth to offer me so much for a pic
ture that l can't afford to refuse it,
Washington Star.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

Another eminent financier who was
virtuously Mortified at the rascally do
ings of Banker Dougherty, of Peoria,
was Banker Stensland. of Chicago.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

Always shake in Aliens Foot-Ease,
powder. It cures chtlbla1ns. camp
sweatinr aching. swollen feet. Cures
Germs and Bunions At all druggists and
shoe stores, CSC. Don't accept any hub
stitute. Sample mailed FREE. Ad-
dress Allen s. Olmstead, Leroy, N. Z.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
Plenty of Them.

European-Are there any interesting
ruins in America?
American-I should say so! Half the
high livers In the country are wrecks.
Detroit Free Press.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

Another man has almost succeeded In
swimming the English Channel. Civil
ization Is going to take fearful slump
unless somebody does 1t pretty soon.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

BY boiling all the water and sterillZ-
Ing all the milk and thoroughly cook
Ing all the vegetables and killing all
the flies, the average person may es-
cape typhoid fever.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

From what we are able to learn on
the subject, it appears that the Russian
group of toll is SO busy doing otner
things that it seldom has time to work.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
At the Picnic

Tommy-Oh, ma! Here's little
green snake!
Mamma-Keep away from 1t, dear.
It may be just as dangerous as ripe
Leader.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
Posted.

"Now, boys" said the teacher, "can
you tell me the most difficult thing to
acquire in autOing"
'The auto" came a chorus of yells.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
CousOiiuE,

She-Do you think woman Is as
old as she looks?
He-Oh, some may be, but, honest
". / don't believe you are.-Detroit
Free Press
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

When a man wants to fight, don't
hold him; just permit him to wade in
and get what's coming to him before he
changes his mind.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

Since | am so much like the man
Whom once l heartily admired,
I bear with me as best l can,
Although l sometimes make me tire
-Washington Star.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
Unbiased.

TITS true, l am no more myself
That is. the self of long ago;
But | am nearer like that elf
Than anybody that l know.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

Il have no political aspirations what
ever" said Charles NJ. Schwab, the steel
magnate, when asked concerning the re-
port that he desires to enter the United
States Senate from Nevada,
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

1no qolBM luop GSql il ugdgf qlIM
eTqnoIl olu! l9S H.G9qL 'sI!gI uMo
I!9ql oHgm pug spBoIUeI uAo IIoql
PING o. unS9q oAgq oseu!qO eqL
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

Some girls are so constituted that
they imagine every strange man who
CHANGES at them is anxious to start 3
Irritation,
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

TGSI25. Women's Shoes. 1900 to $l.50.
IT,, Uses SI5 & Childreu's Shoes, $2.2o TO $1.oO
w. L. Douglas WOmen's, Misses ana
0hhdren's shoes; for style, fit and wear
re, they excel other makes.
81 could take you into my rarge
,astories at Brockton, Mass. land show
suu now carefully WI. Douglas shoes
Sle made, you would then understand
why they hold their shape. fit better,
wear longer, and are Of greater value
ti,an any other make.
Donserever you live, you can obtain w. L.
On fs as SHOES. His name and price is stamped
nricaa Dotto'r. which protects you against high
- a,iu Inferior shoes. Take no subsfts
an ASK your dealer for w. l.. Douglas shoes
Foa INSIST upon having theni.
w. Sofr Eyefets used; they wfH not weay brassp.
" 1e 1or Illustrated Catalog of Fan Styles.
VEL" oVCuLAS. Eept. Is. Brockton. Mass
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
EGAN
DRAMATIC,a and
0PERATIC

SCHOOL. Season 1906 and 1907
Opens September 18th. Prepares for ORA
matte and Operatic Stage and places graduates
in SIX months. Forty graduates now with
travelling companies. Send for catalogue.
EGAN Dramatic and operate School
Egan Hall Arcade Bldg. Seattle
Frank c. Egan. Principal
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

Woman is the holiday of man-and
every man is entitled to holiday.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

rlrn st. vitus' Dance and all Nervous Diseases
FIJI permanently cured by Pr: Kline'e Great
Nerve Restorer. Send for FREE e2trial bottle and
treatise. Dr.. 3. Kline, Id. 03 Arch st., Phua,
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
20-Mule-Team
BORAX

For washing blankets, w00IenS, lace
curtains, ribbons, embT OiderieS, silk
gloves and all delicate fabrics as we'll
China, Paint, Marble, COOKING Utensils
and Silver, .2O.r1ule-Team bOrax Is
unsurpassed.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

Secretary Metcalf of the Department
OF Commerce and Labor took part in the
class day exercises at Yale university.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

The late CHARLES Stewart farnell il
to have monument erected to his mem
DRY in Mount Auburn cemeter3, Boston
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22
FADED TO A SHADOW.
Worn Down by Five Years of Suffer.
ing from Kidney COMPLAINT.

Mrs. Remethe Myers, Of $50 South
Tenth St., Ironton, O., says: II have
worked hard in nv time and have haan
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

All dealers. Full size package Borax
and BOraX Soap; 32-page booklet and
10 cents and your dealers name. Pa
souvenir picture 7x14 in. 10 colors for
CIFIC COAST BORAX CO., Oakland, Cal.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-22

uncontamln ated we are fortified against dis
ease, and health is assured but any impurity,
humor or poison acts injurious1y on the sys-
TEN and affects the general health. Pus-
tular eruptions,g pimples, rashes and the
different skin affections show that the blood
is in feverish and diseased condition as
result of too much acid or the presence of
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-11-09
Sir Waller scott's First Brief.

Sir Walter Scott had his share Of the
usual curious experiences shortly after
being called TO the bar. His first ap-
pearance as counsel In criminal court
was at Jedburgh assizes In 1913. when
he successfully defended veteran
poacher. You're a lucky scoundrel,"
Scott whispered to his client when the
verdict was given. "Tm just o your
mind" returned the latter, "and I'll
send you maukin q. e.. hare) the
morn. man." Lockhart, who narrates
the incident, omits to add whether the
maukin duly reached Scott, but no
doubt 1t did. On another occasion Scott
was less successful In his defense OF a
housebreaker, but the culprlt, grateful
for his counsel's eXertions, gave him, III
lieu Of the orthodox fee, which he was
unable to pay, this piece OF advice, to
the value Of which he (the housebreak-
err could professionally attest: b1rst,
never to have large watchdog out OF
doors, but to keep little yelping ter
rier within, and, secondly, to put no
trust in nice, clever, gimcrack locks,
but to pin his faith to huge old heavy
one with a rusty key. Scott long re-
membered this incident and thirty
year. later, at judges dinner at Jed
burgh, he recalled it In this impromptu
rhyme
Yelping terrier, rusty key,
Was Walter Scotts best Jeddart fee.
Westminster Gazette.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-11-09
The World as IL IL.

A world without mistakes and with
out suffering would lie world without
real men ana women. without litera-
ture. without music. without painting
or sculpture and without love, and
even without history. for history Is a
record Of struggles toward better and
higher things. Without obstacles 10
overcome and errors 10 correct men
and women would lapse to level with
beasts in mentality. Intellectual and
spiritual development would cease ano
souls not refined by the fire of wdealS
would die OF something akin to. fatty
degenera ton. The races would perish
of ennui or inanity. After all, It's
pretty fair sort of world as 1t stands
louisville COurier-Journal.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-11-09
The Wreckers of scfliy.

AS far back as the time Of Henry l.
here were royal grants Of 1.-The islands
md their wrecks" and frequent was
the phrase In centuries following. With
royal encouragement, why should they
not be wreckers? One Sunday, long
ngo. In Sclly. service was In progress
when there came the cry OF Wreck!
The men started from their seats In
moment there would have been
stampede. but they covered back as
the minister sternly thundered warn
ing. He strobe to the door. Again bis
voice arose. Let's all start fair! be
shouted. throwing Off impeding cassock
as be ran. while his congregation Ia
bored at his heels. Most curious or all
wrecks was that Of bark, with a car
go Of beads, that went ashore 200 years
ago. So generous has been the ocean
with this treasure that throughout
these two centuries 1t has intermittent
ly been tossing beads ashore. yet so
frugally that the supply is not yet ex-
hausted, for in few minutes search
| found that some had been thrown
there since the last search Of the Is
landers.-Robert Shackleton In 'Har'
per5.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-11-09
The Battle OF Redonda.

Not far from st. Thomas, matter OF
perhaps hundred miles, was fought
the most wonderful naval battle in oil
history. The Dutch admiral detected
the enemy In the early morning, wneh
the sea was covered With thick mlst'
and his guns opened ire at once WIN
out warning. The fire was returned
with interest, the ocean fairly culver
Ing with spasms caused by the SHOCK
of frequent discharges. Somehow OF
other the enemy's shots, which SOUND
,d like q bombardment, seemed TO ran
short or go wide of the mark, for not
even q splash Of ball was heard, ano
the Dutch ships remained unscathed.
On the other hand, the Dutch could not
see the terrible execution their guns
were doing until nearly the middle OF
the forenoon, when the fog lifted, re-
yealIng to their astonished gaze not the
vessels of the enemy, but great rocs
Standing out Of the sea. They bad been
firing at it for five hours, and the souno
of the return shots they heard was the
echo from the solid wall OF granite
They named the place Redonda, WHICH
means sent, rolled or driven back, and
Redonda 1t is to this day.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-11-09
CrvstaI Sky COIum ms.

An explanation of curious opucai
phenomenon, sometimes witnessed Oh
frosty nights, which is called the pssu-
do aurora" is offered by a scientist.
The phenomenon takes the form on
beautiful columns OF silvery hsht
standing over electric arc lamps ana
other bright lights and sometimes APP
nearing almost to reach the zenith'
The scientist says that sometimes the
evening star has bright shaft below
as we'll as above, while the rising moon
stands IN a broad column OK lignt
These appearances are due to floating
frost crystals which keep their renect
ing faces horizontal. On examination
he found that the crystals concerned
In the exhibition were thin six sideo
plates Of ice, never more than one mil
limeter In diameter. When the WING
blows. these little plates are upset. ahe
the columns Of light caused by rehec
ton from their surfaces disappear.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-11-09

Omar Khayyam was a famous Per
sian poet and mathematician In the
twelfth century, who was employed by
the Sultan Malik Shah In revising the
astronomical tables and In making n
thorough reform OF the calendar. He Is
better known 10 us as the writer OF
some 800 epigrams in verses OF four
lines which are unsurpassed In their
nure diction. fine wit and crushing sa-
tire. These clever and fascinating
ouatrains were put into English oy
Edward Fitzgerald, who in 1859 pub
iished THE Rubaiyat OF Omar a rem
1ering marked by exquisite melodious'
ness and by poetic insight and power
Omar has been called the Noltaire oil
the east because of his brilliant ano
pungent wit, while his depth OF tender
ness and profound thought and his de
nunciation of the fate which dooms r
decay and death what is best and mos
beautiful in the world reveals mucf
that reminds one Of Byron, SwlhDurn'
and sometimes Schopenhauer.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-11-09
Sea otter Skin.

The furrier was taking his stock OUT
Of the cold storage room. 1t came
forth frozen stiff and coated with glis-
tenIng white frost. But there was one
beautiful skin that, though just as sun
"a any of the others, had no frost on IT,
81 want you to look at this skin lie
said. at is the kind that the richeSt
Russians. grand dukes, and 80 on nave
their oyercoat collars made OF. 1t Is a
sea otter's s':in. and II is 80 expensive
that often one coat collar OF 1t VIII cost
$500. 1t IS unquestlonably the best
skin in the world TO make coat collars
Of. Why? Look at this one, ana you !
see. All my other skins are covered
with frost. while on this fur no frost
whatever appears. And that's the reA,
son why sea otter skins make the pes'
coat collars. The breath, for some un
known reason, doesn't freeze on them
New York Press.