davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03
Thu. nDy Problem.

The problem indicated By President
Luther # Trinity College. what TO do
with the boy when IL In time for him 10
20 10 work. has puzzled many parents.
The opportunities for apprenticeship
are fewer. His school training. oussids
the requirements Of the rudimsnts OF
education. fits him for nothing paYtfc-
uIarly but a clerical tob. A. a conss-
quence. Professor Luther thinks ArnsTt-
can workmanship Is deterIora'ing. piac-
ing The responsibility upon the ressrEc-
ton OF the number OF uppret;ces by
labor organizations and the greed OF
employers who seek 10 get man. work
for n boy wages His solution you'd
be the establishment Of manual training
schools 10 be maintained as o-he-
schools are n public expense.
The extension Of manual training 10
that every boy would have an oppor-
tunity {, ft himself for q trade Eouid
make tho problem 81 parents much
easier IF solution. Boys. instead OF
being set a. work As doors % odd Jobs
wasting the rear when they should DO
qualifying themselves for work a.
tounrneymen. should be given "a chance
10 prepare themselves for their life
work. The great number of youthr
anxious 20 ;ake advantage 81 tho op-
p~ortanity offered by the Carnegie
schools proves the need. Professo-
Luther quotes the example Of Ger
many. where technical education has
been carried 20 It's highest perfection
The excellence 81 German workman
ship IL accepted the world over. Whils
the professors statement that AmeEt-
can workmanship Is dete-torating may
be unless more attention @
paid 10 practical training IL may .
co,ne true. For The reason the consid-
Grafton u his proposal should engage
the interest Of educators and the pub
lie. The oy problem comes right home
10 the people. Upon itz proper solution
depends The Industrial supremacy or
the nauon.-From the Pittsburg Dis
patch
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03
SOME JOKES
Having Fun With the Barber, Portrait
Painter and Doctor.
the Grand Magazine.

From the Grand Magazine.
If there is any truth in what expert
testers tell. us, the worlds stock OF
good original jokers is ludicrouslv
small-a dozen or two at the very out
side. An early investigator INTO this
momentous question, a certain Hero
cles, who lived some 1900 years ago,
put the number in his day at exactly
twenty-one. The researches Of Hero
cles probably did nOt extend so far
eastward as China, so there is no i'm
prOpriety in asking now whether some
of the jokes which abound in the lit
erature of the celestial empire are en-
titled to the honor of originality or not.
There are three specimens:
A careless barber, trimming a GUS
toner's ear-Chinese BARRIERS pay par
ticular attention to this part Of the hu-
man anatomy-put his patient TO great
pain and uneasiness. Are you doing
my left ear now?" asked the victim.
No, sir; I've not quite finished the
right ear yet" "Ah! | fancied you
were trying to pass through to the left
without going around"
~ ~ L IA $4,000
was advised by a friend 10 paint a like
S of himself and his wife and hang
il i'm some conspicuous place, so that
would-be customers might judge of his
skill. He did so. and his father-in-
law the next time he called imme-
diately saw the picture. Pray" asked
the visitor, what woman have you
represented there?' Why, sir, 90 Won
not recognize your own daughter
My daughter" was the indignant an
swer. IF you intend that 10 repre-
sent my daughter how dare you paint
her sitting thus intimately with a man
whom | have never seen before anu
who must be an entire stranger 10 her.
The painters feelings need o be de-
scribed.
The gibes at doctors are innumera-
bic. The following is a typical ex-
ample:
One of the judges in the neither re-
cions dispatched an imp TO this world
of ours 10 seek u and bring a a
GOOD doctor. When" the imp was in
srructed. YOU come to the house OF a
doctor before which WI decry no COM
planning ghosts you viii know You
have found a ma of the kind wanted
The messenger set out, but in 'front.' OF
every doctors door he came 10 there
was an immense throng OF angry spir-
IFS proclaiming the wrongs b mad
suffered when in the flesh, at the hands
of the medicine man Finally. how
ever. he reached a house where there
was but n solitary ghost fitting back
ward and forward. This Is my man.
he said to himself; "he nust surely be
= 9 fellow When the imp came
TO make inquiries, however, he learned
that the practitioner had barely been
In practice for q day!
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03
Is History Repeating NSei1.

While no Mirabeau and not even u
Danton has vet arisen 10 onduc the
Russian revolution, there is consldeEa-
h1e Indication of a new Reign OF Terror
with anv number of petty Robespierres.
as a consequence Of the dissolution ot
the Dnma- When Louis XVI, on he
advice of the party OF reacuoh' e.i
Moved his troops 10 oVera"T "a
French Constituent Assembly, he pto-
nile of Paris responded July u, l's',
hv the destruction of the Bastlle mo
the final overthrow OF the monarchy.
Whether the stroke OF stale In DIS
solving the Russian Duma July -. l3oo,
will be followed by a like result de-
nenfs largely upcn the disposition u
tho army Louis XVI was convinced
of the fidelity Of his soldiers when ne
summoned them 10 Paris 10 attack me
representatives o fthe people, ann ne
los. his head as we'll as his crown as
the result Of his mistake. Will the
Car prove the victim of a like error
in driving forth the Russian Duma ana
converting ST. Petersburg into a MIL
taTy camp?
Whatever The near future may oTiAg
for h the dissolution OF the Drma ms
brought the conflict between the autoc-
racv and the masses OF the Russian
neonle into full swing. For the pres
emf the reactionary forces feel t2a'
.hev control the situation. Else tAeF
would hardly have had the daring 10
acoomplish this stroke Of state In ne
midst OF the tremendous popular Ter
ment But for their success the auioc-
racv must rely not only upon d nfHi-
inv of the army. but upon the ao1"c-
~snbmissiveness OF me masses Of ne
Da,rIa who have tasted h sweei"
~ liberty. The poor peasants who ioT-
merlv lei themselves be shot down !i<'
shean because OF their faith IN ne
poofnass Of the Little Father nae
raised the CITY Of The land for the ian'-
less" throughout the vast empire IL
the newborn frenzy OF their deFo,ph
20 this cause they have in some oA
ties flung themselves upon the oasot
ri The aoldiery. from whose hands 'acf
vres,ed their weapons In this misnas
conflict between the ~autocracy II
popular elements that has been So az
motion the final result IN the ossF,h~
Of fmpe riaiism seems only 10 De =
question Of time. The world DOS moe
n spite Of all the reac'ionary ioF.e
hat can be mustered 20 arrest It's prog
res-Philadslphia Record
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03

the legislature elected by, the people.
Ine inevitable result. 1t seems TO us.
VIII be TO aggravate the disorders In the
provinces, and 10 insure-if the Car
redeems his promise OF convokng n
new Parliament next Marcia rep
r~esentation far more radical and 10
lent than that which assembled last
May.-New York Post.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03

IhE BlLLFROG BUTFWHY DOES
HE BELOW"
lon all of his because he was q pro-
fSSoc. Mrs. Bowser, you were brought
JPN the country"
70 We're You, Mr.. Bowser. The first
lIe ever saw you you were cutting
Q pumpkins TO feed a one horned
COW
tie flushed up and his eyes snapped
N4 'oF Il moment he appeared about to
--Ae an angry answer. Then he hung
u himself and forced a smile and
sid.
well, let II go that we were both
|VlSlt up in the country. It is all the
I'Fe 10 the point in this case. AS
~ulIfT bred folks we know what the
S-"-Fog Is. He is found in ponds and
-1.>aeS. His principal occupation is
" fellow at night. Did you ever stop
v uInb. Mrs. Bowser, why he bel
because he was made to, the same
a-swerel.
"0l Why was he made to-why?
'0o>trr was made to crow that he
- wake The farmers hired man up
O'Clock N the morning, but for
: Particular reason should the bull
yellow: They say that nature has
N"">ol for pyprythinr"
D. e.'' UP that l don't know, and the
=, vi. Gleason is to deliver a lecture
g ROY Land at our church this
n anu want you to go with me.
invent been out an evening for
'o Months"
b. ~'- sorry TO disappoint you, Mrs.
r. ~ N'f the Rev. Mr.. Gleason and
E"'.; Land must wait. We have
,.' Us q question that has bothered
n.I> Tor the last 1000 years.
b. 1u..'oS bellows, but why does he
h.1 '-' Why should we care about his
H.. 1t is going to be q very
i r, Z lecture and / want to hear
s,r '~e Dlllfrogs a be attended to
,r J1st Like a Woman.
Bor@S1y like a woman" said Mr..
tor5 s4' with a superior smile. mo
g,n. We wife of Sir Isaac Newton
b. ~ 70 80 to a circus the afternoon
bad sgo'ereJ sravitation, and if he
tayo e,1e With her the world would
ye7,, "ol to wait another thousand
lear 1ou can run right along and
th3n III about the Holy Land, but l
Us oeE9te the evening to solving
tbe t p'o1iem, The professor holds that
70 h1o'irog bellows to attract his food
Dc 49, hold that he bellows under
By ~ mat he is pouring forth a lula
one ~ put the world to sleep. Each
gat,on Us will make his own investi-
norromy o0lght and compare notes to-
~uu tomorrow night you'll be inves-
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03
tigating why owls boot 1 supposean

ugating why owls boot 1 s~upposes,
sarcastically observed Mrs. Bowser
POSSIBLY, my dear woman-possibly.
In fact, l have often wondered inst
why owls do boot instead of keeping
their heads shut. There need be M
acrimony about this matter. You can
run along to the Holy Land, and I
snail take a suburban car out into the
country
"But something will happen to you,
and you'll come home mad at me-"
Nothing whatever will happen to
me, and l shall come home feeling inst
as placid as I do now. I shall be
placid. though I may also be exultant.
III bet dollars to cents that I knock
the professors theory into a cooked
hat. He isn't the only man in this
world who has had his eye On the
bullfrog."
Mr.. Boyvser Departs.
Mrs. Bowser wouldn't go to the lee
ture without him, and so it was settled
that she should stay home. Just as
dusk was coming down Mr.. Bowser
took his departure for the country
and the land of bullfrogs. He didn't
have to wait long after taking his car
to get some information TO assist him
in his investigation. A farmer direct
ed him to a big pond where clay had
been dug out for a brickyard and then
naturally asked:
Coin to catch a mess of frogs to
,eat?'
"No; l am going to study the frog"
There hain't no use in that. ANY
book about animals and things will tell
you all about him. I can do it myself
for that matter. Do you want to know
why his hind legs are the longest!"
mo, sir. II you know all about the
bullfrog tell me why he bellows.
What's his game? Is he talking to
other frogs? Does he imagine he's
singing a song? Is it a note of def
anceP'
"By thunder, but you've got me-" ex-
claimed the farmer after thinking it
over. 1--WE been livin' with bullfrogs
for the last forty years, but it has
never occurred to me to ask why they
bellered. And you are goin' to find
out, are your
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03
. Mr.. B. InvestiEafez.

III It's q possible thing.
WAL, by George! hope you can.
If we can find out why they heller
mebbe we a buy 'em off. There's
about a million of 'em in that pond I
spoke OF. and you won't have any
trouble to find EN-. You'll hear 'em
a~-TlOopin' as soon as yea get OF the
car
The man spoke truly. When the car
reached TIE terminus and NJ. Rowse-
had t~i2l :; %@,:! Il q loT after lie GJt
III the or he herd the h3Ir;e voices ~
q U.,t.:O1 cJuce1t down tie highway
and realized that lie had struck it ricl.
The way IL .iHve gate is to invest
gate. Five minutes after reaching the
Ionl Mr.. i!3r.Se: was giving all his
mind 70 solving tle problem.
He first estimated tie number Of
fr0cs fore him IT al even million.
'S2co"-'-. 'he made out about 500
different i,Itolatious.
Thirdly. defiance, sorrow. pathos. in
difference md e%EuIthtion seemed to be
about equally mixed. where Il old
frog was sending Il lullaby out to the
sleeping world another "a trying to
wake up everybody within two miles.
1t looked as if the problem was being
tied Up in hard knots when two men
suddenly appeared before Mr.. Bowser,
and Onetof them called 1t:
We'll, old cove, have you come back
for the rest of the toOls?"
Sir, are you speaking to met" ask
ed Mr.. Rowser as he rose up.
He Wakes Up.
81 am. What are you doing around
here at this time of night? Some one
was here q night or two ago and stole
all the ~pickaxes, but don't think you
can get away with any more of EN-"
Il came here, sir, to study he frog
and l object to being talked to in this
manner"
"Jehosaphat!" gasped the man. Say,
Jim. this must be the lunatic that es-
capped from the asylum yesterday. II
we take him back they'll give US d
| flyer. Come on"
Mr.. Bowser escaped, but he was pref
tv we'll wrecked in the doing Of it.
| He was rolled in the mud and had his
| clothes torn and lost his hat. At II
o'clock, with Mrs. Bowser still up and
waiting for him, he softly unlocked the
front door and sneaked upstairs. She
heard him. but in the goodness of her
heart did not call out. She gave him
half an hour and hen went mp to find
him asleep. He was asleep, but his
mind still worked. AS she bent owe
him he groaned out and then NUT
tered:
1--WE know why his hind legs are the
longer, but why does he below!
What's the object? What's the gamer"
NJ. QUAD.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03
ri:h Opinions of His Own.

r. rrrn in accord in all but one
r. Ylu know I am a man who has
If his own. | did not swal-
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03
A Hard and Endless Task.

"She does nothing but read 1rom
morning till night" said one girl.
as she engaged in any speclaI
study?'
mo. She wants to be able to say
she has read every novel that is ad-
vertised as the latest success."--Wasn-
ington Star.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03

Two car loads Of @aiermelonS were
hilled from Calypso last week no"
l. ,ha, for a leader? Heavy shipments
are going forward this week.-Mouns
Olive Tribune.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03

Everybody's friend-Dr. Thomas
Electric OIL. Cures toothache, ear
ache, sore threat. Heals cuts, bruises.
scalds. Stops any pain.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03
BoWSer
Runs AmuCk
Re. to Solve the Problem of
L.PM-5g's Below and
Fa.-s Down.
.~,|-% FOR LUNATlC
.5.,,s.r Wrecked Before He Gets
@,,--urs. Z. Is Compassionate
nd Leaves Him Alone.

-.-. by c. II. sutcliffe.1
r--<t. lie afternoon a neigh
. u.r.I. come n and told
w.. B5wser about a lecture
. ,re Holy Land that was to
-Ip church that evening.
rainy. an extra good dinner
,...,rG with the cook for
o. AID he was coaIed to 90.
l... yO0l natured, and he
4 a.. ....rr. and all seemed to
..r-. Wien lie put a stumbling
F. tie WAY hy saying:
cher Interesting incident occur
-. IN. Office this afternoon. You
heard Of Professor Stackhouse, I
+, 4.,t Tnuye seen his name in the
p~ replied Mrs. BoWser.
r.. +: rgn mast celebrated student
. ~,.-r-.l history i'll the world. Show
raaJ.r'S foot and he will tell
r t.w old the rabbit was, to what
.,l q. belonged. whether he was
mp rra Town by 4 d0S-in brief,
r...rt a... / have long wished to
.i"r.. and we had a visit for two
.. ..,-.,
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-03
BY h Pound.

"Hello, butcher! What's all this
you're Juggling homer
ooh. only about twenty-five pounds
of education for my daughter!-flle-
gende Batter.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1906-02-13
THREE DIE
AS a RESULT OF NEW MADRID
SHOOTING.
Negroes shoot mt Each Other anu
Kill Three Innocent White
Men.

Cairo, ILL.,. Feb. 13.-Ed. Waters
the young white man shot Sunday
morning at New Madrid, Mo-, died
here last night.
A fight between three negroes
started in a saloon, but the particl-
pants rushed outside where they be-
gan promlscuously firing at each 9TH
er with revolvers.
Three white men, VIII Peninger,
Arthur Lavender and Ed. Waters.
we're standing on nearby corner
talking and had not time to seek
shelter, being shot almost in their
u acks, each one being fatally injur
ca. Peninger was shot in the face.
and lived only a few hours; Caven-
der, shot in the breast. died Sunday
night, and Waters. shot through the
abdomen. lived until last night.
The feeling against the negroes -
intense az New Madrid. They are
confined in the jail there and there
r. much talk of a lynching.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1906-02-13
LANG BROS. SUCCESSFUL.

After a great deal of effort and
correspondence, Lang Bros, the pop
ular druggists, have succeeded in
getting the DR.. Howard Co. to make
2 special half-price Introductory of
fer on the regular fifty cent size OF
their celebrated specific for the cure
OF constipation and dyspepsia.
This medicine is a recent discov-
cry for the cure of all diseases of the
stomach and bowels. 1t not only
gives quick relief, but it makes per-
manent cures.
DIR. Towards specific has been SO
remarkable successful in curing con-
stipation, dyspepsia and all liver
troubles, that Lang Bros. are willing
to return the price paid in every
case where it does not give relief.
Headaches, coated tongue, dizzi-
ness, gas on stomach, speeks before
the eyes, constipation, and all forms
Of liver and stomach trouble are soon
cured by this scientific medicine.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1906-02-13
PECK BUTLER
Buried Yesterday at Jackson, Tenn.
Many Friends Attend.

The Jackson Sun of yesterday
says of the funeral of the late Peck
Butler, former Kitty league ball
player:
cat half after ten this morning
the last sad rites were said by the
Rev. Rhames, diocesan missionary OF
the Episcopal church, over the re-
mains of young William Ormond
Butler, whose tragic death Saturday
night was the occasion of such uni
versal sorrow and sympathy. The
funeral took place at Riverside, and
his grave was made very near that
of his great-aunt, Mary Jane Butler,
who was buried in 1924.
civilian Ormond Butler was the
only child Of his parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. John Butler, and was the great
grandson of the late DR.. w. e. But
Ter, who in 1921 laid out the town OF
Jackson"
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1906-02-13
PILES CURED
Suffering for Years, and Bed-Ridden
From Piles, Contractor of
Marion, Ind, is Cured by
Pyramid Pile Cure.
Trial Package Sent Free TO All Who
Send Name and Address.

81 was troubled with piles for
several years before l would let it
be known. But at last they became
so severe that / could not walk and
had to take my bed. tried every
thing and anything the doctors pre-
scribed, and took their treatments
for a long time. But nothing ever
did me any good. l had seen your
ad. in different newspapers, so l got
a 50-cent box and began using them.
From the very first | got quick re-
lief and by the time | was starting
on my third box l saw l was cured.
| have not been troubled with them
since. Now you can use this as you
please because it is genuine. Yours,
T. A. Sutton. Stone and Cement Con-
tractor, Marion, Ind"
Instant RELIEF can be gotten by
using the marvellous Pyramid Pile
Cure. 1t Immediately reduces all
congestion and swelling, heals all
sores, ulcers and irritated parts.
The moment you start to use IL
your suffering ends and the cure of
your dread disease is in sight.
The Pyramid Pile Cure renders an
operation unnecessary. Don't sub
NIT to the cruel, excruciating pain
caused by the surgeons knife. Be-
sides, it is expensive and humiliating
and rarely permanent success.
The Pyramid Pile Cure is put up
IN the form of "easy-to-use," spe-
cially made, suppositories. They
are soothing, painless. instant and
certain.
A trial treatment will be sent you
at once. by mail, in plain, sealed
wrapper, without a cent of expense
to you, If you send your name and
address to Pyramid Drug Co., 12445
Pyramid Building, Marshall, Mich.
After You receive the sample. you
can get a reguiar-size package of
Pyramid Pile Cure at your druggists
for so cents, or if he hasn't it, send
us the money and We will send II to
you.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1906-02-13
KENTUCKY MASONS
Were Highly Honored at Washing
ton

ton.
Washington, ID. c., Feb. "a
Several high Masonic events OF the
past week have been enlarged by the
presence of two leading members of
the craft from Richmond Ky, Very
Eminent Sir Knight Robert r. Burn
am, Past Grand Commander, knights
Templar and Past Grand High Prize st
of the State of Kentucky, Eminent
Sir knight r. C. Stockton, Past
COMMANDER of Richmond Command,
cry, No. 10, Richmond Ky Sir
knight Stockton is also Grand Treas
urer of the Grand Commandery OF
Kentucky.
Mr.. Burnams friends propose to
advocate his election to the Office of
Grand Junior Warden at the ses-
sion OF the Grand Lodge In Louis
Vile next October, and his wide ac-
quaintance with Masons throughout
the state no doubt insures his ele-
walton. If he goes through the line
in the Grand Lodge. he will have had
ali the honors the Masons OF his
state can bestow upon one of their
fellows.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1906-02-13
BASEBALL DOPE.
o o O o o O o o o {

Frank Herman, one of the loyal
local rooters, Is out with a title for
the league. lie suggests it be called
the "Ikf' as only Illinois, Kentucky
end Indiana cities are represented
Matoon Star.
These "wise heads" might as vel.
give their brain a rest. for the name
kitty" is an everlasting one and
will not be changed. II makes no
difference whether any Tennessee
town Is represented or not. Has not
this league become known from
Maine to Texas and from the Atlar
tic to the Pacific by the name OF the
Kitty Lacquer" What would be
the advantage then of changing Il,
When large firm or corporation
sells out why do the successors of
ten retain the firm name? Because
II is known and It stands for some
thing Citizen.
Dead right. Seldom. Delighted
to agree with you. While technical
~ the name of the Kitty is the KeI.-
mcKy. Illinois and Tennessee. the
league at IT'S st. Louis meeting CON
Guided to be known as the Kitty
for the reason stated by The Citizen.
Cairo Bulletin.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1906-02-13


city block. Large and good natured,
his 500 pounds of avordupois exudes
large dividend of fun every min
ute he is on.
Earl Dewey, as Washington Stubs
is a clever young man who acts in
pleasing, graceful way. and is also
good comedian. Stanley Murphy
as would-be detective, mad an ex-
acting comedy role which he played
we'll, and Edward Groth, as the Bra
lillian nobleman. was never lacking
in grace or ability. All in all, n
better array Of comedians has sell
dom been seen here in one show.
OF the ladies Miss Della Stacy as
Trixie Evergreen, the actress, probl-
lily carried off the honors. She is
vivacious, has a charming voice and
attractive personality, and made a
great deal of part which might
easily be spoiled by a girl of less
ability. Margaret Burnham, divid-
cd the prima donna honors, and
Rose Walker, as the maiden sister Of
DR.. Dobbins, furnished a great deal
OF the fun.
Dainty Janet Priest, as "Muggsy.
quite captivated the audience, and
her appearance always produced u
laugh and a hand. Miss Priest is
very diminutive, but ranks with the
best in her line. She was formerly
dramatic critic in Minneapolis, but
had such evident talent that she was
induced to so on the stage.
1t would be unfair to tell how
good the principals are without Civ
ing the large and attractive chorus
its modicum of credit for being one
of the handsomest and best ever
seen here. II is all to the good, and
what more could be said?