davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
.LAYHA WKER .JOTS

Now Riley county is claiming a
/ whole field of corn in which the ears
are nine feet above the ground. There's
good place for a step-Iadder factory.
THE weather yesterday" says the
Burlington Republican of a very small
shower, paid another installment of
the interest on the rain due six weeks
ago"
The Abilene Reflector is all pulled
I'D because It has a new dress which it
describes as thoroughly up-to-date,
with Peter Pan effect and straight
front design"
Neosho county is also trying to get
ahead Of the bridge trust It has re-
Gently let the contracts for building
seven bridges to home man for nearly
500 less than the bridge companies
bid.
Howard Courant: It is said Howard
has one citizen who has never shaved
since John c. Fremont was defeated
for president. It is at least certain
that he has not shaved since he landed
in Howard in 1875.
An EmDoria man who has been
married for years recently bought a
diamond ring as a surprise for his wife
How Is that for devotion 2" asks the
Gazette But 1t may not have been de-
votion at all Perhaps he was trying
TO square himself with her.
Sedgwick photographic ST noticed
your trees are all. planted IN rows in
this country" said a timid tourist on
the train the other day as he pointed
out across the Kansas landscape
Gosh all fish hooks" exclaimed the
disguised farmer who was going to the
next town to get some automobile
fixtures. those ape not trees. That's
a Kansas cornfeld."
Holton Recorder: The late congress
appropriated $4,000 to straighten the
Neosho river below EmDoria. While
our lawmakers were wasting money
why did they not think to appropriate
sum SUFFICIENT to straighten out
Straight creek, which Dan Teer used
to say was the crookedest creek on
earth. He declared 1t only had one
straight stretch IN its whole course and
that was less than six inches long
Adam Croker of Holton, has been.
trying to recolIect an old piece" that
was in the reader when he was a boy,
but the way he gets it IS this:
"How big was Charley Curtis. Pa?
That Shawnees call him great
Was he a statesman grand and tall
His influence Of great weight?
o no, my child. about as big
As or Urcie Sol.
Twas not his statecraft made him
great,
But the greatness of his gall"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
GLOBE SIGHTS.

From the Atchison GIobe.l
When we travel we always think
that the best looking people stay at
home
When a man goes into business, af-
ter he is 5 o. it is in the hope of estab-
fishing something for his son.
The trouble with the woman who
has success with flowers is that her
family hasn't window at home to
look out of.
A man does so many foolish things
every year that he staggers under a
terrible burden of humiliation by the
time he is fifty.
Listen to any girl of 16 and the
tenth word she will say is 'chum, -
and it appears every fifth word in her
conversation afterward.
One great trouble is that those who
need the exercise in tennis and ball
games are the ones who look anything
but graceful in taking it.
When man has as many as three
night shirts. It doesn't mean all good
luck: The third was made to have in
the house for company.
Tt is funny the difference in taste:
When woman wants to change the
color Of her hair, she blondines it, but
when a man wants to change his
he dyes it black.
When the model man presides at
the table when there is company he
passes and passes without being told.
urges and urges till every mite before
him has been served and finally
starves to death
Why do women blondine their hair,
when they know perfectly we'll that
everybody VIII know It. and talk
about it2 People always know when
hair is blondined. whether It is just
touched up. or the whole thing.
It may be an old fashioned notion
that a girl should prepare ner mind
for travel, but in these days it is
more important that she prepare by
learning how to dress sitting on the
edge of a bed. or cramped up with
seven other women in a space which
her mother would consider too crowd
ed for the palm at home
Lysander John Appleton walked into the
kitchen at his home this morning, dressed
in a rubber suit Over his head he wore
q cap something like that the divers
wear. leaving only the mouth exposed.
What on earth are you fixed uD that
way. for2" said the wife. Lysander John
Appleton paused. his hand on the refrig-
orator door and said with an air OF
mournful dignity. 7 am about to eat a
ripe tomato, and don't want to get any
Of the juice on my clothes"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

Brazil has an area or $4,000
square miles, or that of the United
States with half of Alaska added. This
is, approximately, fve-sixths of the
whole of Europe or almost one hun
dred times the size OF the mother
country Compared even with Aus
tralia, Brazil not only holds her own,
but has surplus area that would
overlap the state of Texas, while on
her own continent she almost equals
the com bined areas Of the other twelve
republics and colonies, one-half Of
Argentina only having to be deducted.
This will readily be apparent on con-
sulung an atlas, as will the equally as
tonishing statement that her extreme
length from north to south is approx
mately thirty-eight and one-half de-
grees, or the distance from the north
ern extremity of Maine to the coast Of
Venezuela.
Finally. dividing the land area of
the new world by language into Eng
fish, Spanish and Portuguese (Which
includes all but Haiti and the small
colonial holdings of France, Holland
and Denmark) we arrive at the fol-
lowing remarkable facts: The United
States with Alaska, Canada including
the islands within the Arctic circle,
Newfoundland, British Guiana, British
Honduras and the various British
islands of the West Indies make a to-
tai of IS per cent of the whole; the
eighteen king republics,
with Porto Rico, 80 per cent, Brazil
alone making up the remainder, or %
per cent And yet. to the average
American, the Portuguese language is
regarded practically as a negligible
quantity, while many of our exporters
complacently classify Brazil as Span
ish-spealxing, regarding it, no doubt,
like French Guiana. as too unimpor-
tant to occupy a place by itself-From
The United States of Brazil, the
Great Republic of the Tropics" by
G.. NJ. L. Brown and Franklin Adams.
in the American Monthly Review Of
Reviews.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

authority. This charge seems to have
made little impression against their
popularity with the great body of the
public. Ia commenting upon this, the
Memphis News Scimitar says: The
fact IS. The people care less for the
power exercised by any one man than
they do for the way he exercises it.
They viii even overlook many VIOLA
lions of precedent or society's require
ments or regulations II the general net
result of mans life is serviceable to
them. It is true only a strong man
can safely hazard conduct in contradic-
ton to preconceived opinions or regu-
Il tinns
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
short Lie ana ! Merrr ono.

OF the great scholar and writer.
George Buchanan, the 400th anniver-
sary Of whose birth is being celebrated
today. it is related that he was told
by his doctors that If he abstained
from wine he might live FIVE or six
years. and that If he continued to
drink he could hold out three weeks
at longest.
Get you gone" he exclaimed, with
your prescriptions and your courses
of diet, and know that I would rather
live three weeks and be drunk every
day than six years without drinking
wine"
He was as good as his word HAY
ing discharged his physicians like a
desperate man he ordered a hogshead
of graves wine to be set at his beds
head, resolved to see the bottom Of it
before he died, and he carried himself
so valfantly that he emptied It to the
lees ,,-BIackMood.s Magazine
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
ERON OTHER PENS
QUEER BANKING.

That wrecked Milwaukee Avenue
bank in Chicago seems to have been
ne-man-institution Stensland, the
president, was the whole game. He
sent for his cashier and told him to
make out a certain number of notes,
according to a memorandum. The
notes were turned over to him and la
ter he would hand them TO the cashier
signed and indorsed, and they would
be placed to his credit and he would
draw checks upon them in his own
name. The cashier did not investi-
gate the signatures. He took them on
faith. The notes piled up and up and
up until they amounted to more than
half a million, and then the cashier
began to worry and gently reminded
the president that something ought to
be done to reduce the indebtedness"
Meanwhile the directors Of this de-
lectable institution were presumably
holding their monthly meetings and
passing upon the loans and discounts
and scrutinizing the condition of the
bank. Unfortunately there is as yet
no mention OF their manner of pro-
cedure. Did they assemble around the
mahogany table and look at the presi-
dent while he told them that every
thing was all right and then, after
a brief chat about the chances of the
two Chicago baseball teams for the
pennants, pocket their golden fees and
wander off to attend to their own
business affairs? There is strong ex-
ternal evidence that they did little
more than this.
How many other financial fnstitu-
tons are there in this country that
are run on these lines Washington
Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
THE CORNER or A HEART.

One corner of her giriish heart she Yield
ed first to ME.
And halted there, because the rest was
occupied, you see
by tenants who were kin to her and WIN
as you'll divine
Through having dwelt there many years
nag stronger claims than mine.
As slgnt concession cen as this most
proud was I to win,
And with affection closely packed man
aged to move in:
let soon I found The quarters eramped
ana with wooers art
eoaxed an added portion to that corner
of her heart.
quite e forget which one It was my spread
II Cousin Johns or Uncle wins heart
lodgings were effaced
BY this designing move of mine. But
someone, II is plain,
Lost out while I was winning the ex-
pansion of domain.
ana yet, the corner thus enlarged had
held me but q day
When, Someone's got to mover I vowed
were in each others way!
Memory q partt
III have to have more room than lust
one corner of your hearth
The transfer. was arranged, and oh. the
ripple of her laugh,
When she avowed: your corners grown
LII now much more than half
MY heart you re occupying, dear. lou vel.
know what that means
mat all the other tenants now are
crowded like sardinesi''
vel. more OF them will have to mover
Nth with eandor ayowed.
w hlie those whom you select TO STAY
must still more closely crowd,
And move they did fcIear out at 1aSt1
which shows the greedy part
a man Will play II he's allowed one cor
Roy Farrell Greene in Smart Set
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
FULL V.EAsFD WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers Of the state journal
Rgvay during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
90 any address at ts1e rate OF ten cents
O week or thirty cents a month Thy
mail only. Address changed as often
as desired. While out Of town the
State journal VIII be to you Ike q
daily letter from home.
Advance payment IS requested on
these short time subscriptions. to save
bookkeeping expense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Every man thinks If he were a null
ti-millionaire he would be different
from the rest and wouldn't want more
money.
x
The Indiana board of health has
adopted some anti-kissing rules. Well,
the Indiana board OF health certainly
doesn't have to do any kissing If it
doesn't want to. and so long as it
doesn't interfere with the rest of US
there will be no objection to any rules
it wishes to adopt for its own OBJ
servance.
What IS the inference a successful
politician must draw when he is asked
If an honest man can succeed in
politics?
1t is somewhat paradoxical, but a
girl is apt to treat you colby when you
make her hot.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

One Of the things reported to be on
the Bryan programme IS a constitu-
donai amendment providing for a tax
on incomes. Advocacy Of amendments
TO the constitution Of the United States
may look well in party platforms and
serve to gain some votes but that IS
the limit Of its usefulness. It never
materializes and Is not likely to do 50
in the future. If an income tax ever
be collected It wal be by the grace Of
a friendly supreme court and long be-
6ore the constitution could be amended.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
seeing One's own Countrr First.

Going abroad" enjoys the prestige
or many generations and its paths are
deep rutted. 1t has lost all claim to
distinction, however, and nowadays is
not thing to talk about among your
friends unless you wish to bore them
to distraction. The tourist party has
made the undertaking so common
place that to have whizzed through
Europe implies neither a long purse
nor the slightest originality of intel
lect- I was once crossing in a steamer
which contained an average muster
roll OF touring Americans. Those who
were making their first trip abroad
and felt inclined to put on some small
airs about it were speedily cowed and
abashed. They found that most of
their fellow voyagers had crossed from
three to ten times, and that the only
passenger who enjoyed the slightest
distinction was a veteran who was do
ing his twenty-sixth run across the
pond
Far be it from me to decry the en-
tightening advantages of sightseeing
in the Old World. where age, tradition
and the novel aspect of people and
things arouse the Imagination and re-
fresh the tired mind. But for one
American who returns in n wholly re-
freshed and satisfied condition I will
find you another who will confess to
numberless irritations because Of petty
and organized sWindles and extortions
Waged against the yankee in a strange
land, and to futile annoyance over bad
hotels, poor railway service and a civil
ity that Is won and held only on a cash
basis
Largely because It has been possible
for the man of moderate income to
spend one or two months abroad for
considerably smaller outlay than he
could tour his own country, he puts
seeing America last instead of first,
and It has been uphill work to induce
people who travel to listen to the
claims of the undiscovered land toward
the Golden Gate. It has come to pass,
however. that the journey from New
York to California is considered worth
talking about as much as the trip to
London or Paris, and there are grounds
for hope that at no far distant time the
average American with money and
time for a summer or winter holiday
viii take pains to study his own land
before he flies to the nearest steam
ship office to get a sailing schedule
Stuart L. Douglas in The Outing
Magazine
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

The -Four Brothers OIL company. an
Independent concern with headquarters
in West Springfield, has been selling oil
at wholesale in various Massachusetts
towns al 81 cents a gallon. The Stand
ard OIL company has reduced it's price
IN those same towns to tx cents a gal
lon. The Springfield Union says this
Is for the purpose Of crushing competi-
ton. Now. who gave the Union that
tip2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

The plant Of President Ripley that
the stockholders of the Santa Fe rail-
than per cent per annum meets with
little sympathy from Col Stubs. who
figures 1t out that instead of 8 per cent
the Santa Fe has earned an average of
so per cent per annum for the past ten
years. And the people continue to pay
the freight.-Clay Center Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

San Francisco is calling for me-
chanics to help rebuild the city. To-
peka can't do anything for her. All
the mechanics in the Kansas capital
are needed right here.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
Future PossIhIIitv.

Waiter bring me some fodoform soup.
q germ proof steak. and some sterilIzed
potatoes"
Yes. sab. What'n you have to drink,
sah?''
Il guess III have a cup Of antiseptic
tea And, by the way, tell the barkeep
to fix me a nsterine cocktail for an ap-
petizer. ''-Mllwaukee Sentinel
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

New York Democrats are in a bad fix
If they nominate Hearst they fear the
may elect him and If they don't nom
mate him they feel almost certain that
they can't elect ANYBODY.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

Secretary Bonaparte does himself
little credit. says the Buffalo News, in
advocating the lash for anybody, even
the anarchist What the world needs
ls higher intelligence. not more cruel
ties. Shut up the criminal and protect
society from him but to beat him is to
hrutalize society and reform nothing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

The suicide OF the teller of the looted
Milwaukee Avenue bank of Chicago
who had no part in the stealing seems to
be another case of the innocent by
atnr,aar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

The politicians IN Maine are fighting
the whisky question all over again.
Opponents Of the present administra-
ton carry with them and exhibit on
the stump bottles of liquor purchased
In this or that town
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

The Pennsylvania Railroad company
has announced that it will obey. the law.
Should this be classified under the head
Of curiosities or Of valuable concessions.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

A Maine court has decided that suicide
is no crime Hereafter, people who kill
themselves in Maine will not even be
subjected to arrest.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

other one-and see that you've so@
sense enough to appreciate il. wish i
was you that was on the ticket. Well
I won't keep you from tellin' her any
longer and he went out and closed the
door behind him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

It is announced that Mrs. Harry K.
Thaw Will tell the story Of her life on
the witness stand at her husbands
trial. Here seems to be a call to An
thony Comstock to get busy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
LORIMER' S MAJORITY.

Secretary Wilson is travelling incog.
from place to place inspecting abat-
toirs, so we have had no opportunity
to get his views as to the significance
Of the humping majority Standpatter
Lorimer rolled up in the packing
house district.-Washing Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

A Chicago man who tried to frighten
a friend by playing ghost was struck
on the head with an ak, and now the
ghost won't walk for some time to
come.-IEdianapolis Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

Secretary Bonaparte favors the
whipping post for anarchists. Let ii
be tried on the Brooklyn Rapid Tran
sit railway to begin with.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

He says he only plowed his corn once
as he lowed the crop would not be a
big one anyway and 1t would save hIm
a lot of work al husking time.-Belle-
vile TeIescope.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

Patrons of Kansas drug stores are
overlooking something if they are not
onering typhoid fever as an excuse for
buying whisky. A Chicago scientist
has declared that alcohol is sure death
to typhoid germs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

sehwab is said to be backing an opera
company. Well, what is a man with a
surplus OF cash to do in this country
We have no Monte Carlo.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

There is about as much danger IF a
war between the United States and
Mexico as there is that the inhabitants
Of Mars will send an invading army
to this country.=Dallas Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

Frenchmen could save much time
and trouble and even money If they
would hsht their dueIs by mail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
NOT ENTIRELY SAFE.

At any rate Iynchers in the south
do not find their work as safe fSem
annoying results as It used to be-
Jacksonville Times-Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

What Kansas needs as much as a
square DEAF Is a square assessment for
purposes Of taxation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

The president appears to be conduct
ing his administration in such a way
that no matter how the congressional
elections go this fall the result will be
regarded as an endorsement of his
course
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

Some people think they see something
significant in the fact that the Iowa
Democrats held their convention at Wa
An-lnn
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

Viewpoints chief caper this summer
Is the wedding that society does not
hear about until the sweet by-and-by.
Springfield Republican
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

Mr.. Bryan and Mr.. Roosevelt have
Seen frequently criticised for attempt
iag or exercising too much power or
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
ONLY A PEN.

IN some cases the charges against
the ice trust seem to have melted
away Baltimore Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17
MORE DANGEROUS.

1t would be a great thing for the czar
If some one could convince him that it
Is better to have black type fired at
him than bombs.-New York Mail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

Gents said the trolley car conductor,
you mustn't stand on the back plat
form. Yer breaking the rules
Some of en- amt piped up the little
man; they're standing on my feet -
Catholic Standard and Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

Teacher-.can any one tell me what q
Scholar-I know, teacher. It's a woman
Who uses her hand instead Of a slipper
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

Cholly-I love your sister, Johnny
Johnny-This is so sudden, Mr.. Softly,
but can not be a brother to you.-Sew
York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-17

Faith will move mountains" declared
the optimistic citizen -
NO doubt, responded the practical cit
zen, Dut WlI u prove equally efficacious
~ s5ae,caxatng lsthInfan canalsT'-Phila-