davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09
KNEW HOW TO WORK "PoP"
Indulgent Pater Fixed the Clock to
Help Maggie Deceive Par
ticular Ma.

Have fathers changed. do you
think?" inquired the old maid stenog-
rapher just after lunch. relates the
Chicago Inter Ocean.
"Why?" asked the smart Aleck
bookkeeper. Does everybody work
but father at your house?"
''Oh," replied the o. M. s., "it isn't
anything like that. but l eat at one
Of those girls lunch clubs where you
help yourself, you know. To-day l
was standing in the middle of the floor
with my tomato soup and caramel ice
cream, wondering where to sit. when
l saw two such sweet, innocent, young
looking things that l couldn't resist
sitting down at the same table with
them. l just wanted to hear them talk
and to imagine myself young again"
at was hard work. wasn't it," in
quired the smart Aleck bookkeeper.
WELL" went on the o. M. s., TAX
ing no notice. ~this is the conversa-
ton heard:
Ibid you go to the dance last
n1yHt, maggie.
Ives, and such a time. l asked
ma If l could go, and she said / could
if l got in by IL o'clock, but If l didn't
this would be the very last dance
should go to. l knew l couldn't get
home by midnight. or anywhere near
it, but didn't tell ma that. So wen!
over and got Lizzie and we went. We
had the SWEETEST time! And l never
got home until four O'Clock In the
took my shoes on outside
the door and went in the back way.
But they had changed the furniture
around, guess, for fell over a chair.
the clock struck four. and out come
pa. l said: 'Sh. don't tell ma" and
pa said: You just leave it to me-"
So what did pa do but turn the clock
back three hours, and then it struck
one. What's that noise," ma hollered.
oh, you're dreaming" pa SAYS.
'What-time is it?" says ma. "One
o'clock," pa says. els Maggie in?" ma
says. "Sure, she's in." says pa. So
went to bed and pa got up again and
ixec IL clock right and ma never
Knew anything about it. tell You.
PAS ceach. He always stands BY
ne like that"
Say, she knows how to work father
I'll right. all right, don't she?" said
he bookkeeper, admiringly.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09
Cures Cancer, Blood Poison and
rheumatism

:. If you have blood poison producing erup-
tions, pimples, ulcers, swollen glands,
bumps and risings, burning, itching skin,
copper-colored spots or rash ON the skin,
mucous patches in mouth or throat, fall.
ing hair, bone pains, old rheumatism OF
foul catarrh, take Botanic Blood Balm (B.
b. b.. 1t kills the poison in the blood;
soon all sores, eruptiops heal, hard swell
ings subside, aches and pains stop, and a
perfect cure is made of the worst cases
of Blood Poison.
For cancer, tumors, swellings, eating
sores, ugly ulcers, persistent pimples of all
kinds, take B. b. b. 1t destroys the can
Ger poison in the blood, heals cancer of all
kinds, cures the worst humors or suppurat-
ing swellings. THOUSANDS cured by b. b.
b. after all else fails. b. B. B. composed
of pure botsnic ingredients. Improves the
digestion, makes the blood pure and rich,
stops the awful itching and all sharp,
shooting pains. Thoroughly tested for
thirty years. Druggists, 81 per large bot
tie, with complete directions for home
cure. Sample free and prepaid by writing
Blood Balm Co., Atlanta, Ga. Describe
trouble and free medical advice also sent
in sealed letter.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09
The Chronicle.
ooLFAx rr = LOUISIANA
Danger Of Dizziness.

Odil8cI VI OulluSS5s
"Dullness," says a writer, els re-
sponsible for a large amount of human
error and misery. The danger Of dull.
ness" he goes on to say, in learned
and interesting way, sis the danger OF
complacently lingering among stupid
and conventional ideas, and losing all
the bright interchange Of the larger
world. The dull people are not, as q
rule. the simple people-they are gen.
orally provided with a narrow and
self-sufficient code; they are often en-
tirely self-satified, and apt to disap
prove Of everything that is lively. 70
mantle and vigorous. Simplicity, as
a rule, is either a natural gift, or else
can be attained only by people oil
strong critical powers, who will. firm
ly, and vigorously, test, examine and
weigh motives, and arrive through
experience at a direct and natural
method of dealing with men and cir
cumstances. True simplicity is not an
inherited poverty of spirit; it is rath-
er like the poverty of one who has
deliberately discarded what is ham,
pering, vexatious and unnecessary, and
has learned that the art Of life con.
sisists in disentangling the spirit from
all conventional claims in living by
mr. ldn n
rather than by tradition and author.
ity. do not say that the dull peo
pie are not probably in a way the
happier people; I suppose that any.
thing that leads to dissatisfaction IS,
In a sense, cause of happiness; but
1t Is not species of happiness that
people ought to pursue. Perhaps one
ought not to use the word dizziness,
because 1t may be misunderstood. The
kind of dullne5s Of high degree, not
only by practical. but even Of mental
ability. know several people of very
great intellectual people who are mod.
els of dullness. Their memories are
loaded with what is no doubt very val
liable information, and their conclu
sions are of the weightiest character;
but they have no vivid perception, nc
alertness. they are not open to new
IDEAS, they never say an interesting OF
! suggestive thing; their presence Is a |
Dad on the spirits of a lively party, |
heir very facial expression is a re.
luke to all light-mindedness and triv.
ality. Sometimes these people are
ilent, and then to be in their pres
nee is like being in thick mist;
here is no outlook. no enlivening pros
'ect. Sometimes they are takers; and
md am not sure that that is not even
worse, because they generally dis
curse on their own subjects with pro-
ound and serious conviction. They
ave no power of conversation, be.
ause they are not interested in any.
ne else's point of view; they care no
lore who their companions are than
Jump cares what sort Of a vessel is
ut under it-they only demand that
eople should listen in silence.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09

A sweet girl student thus described
the manner in which goat butted
the boy out of the front yard: HE
hurried the previous end Of his anat-
omy against the boys afterward with
an earnestness and velocity which,
backed by the ponderosity Of the
goats avoir6upois. impaired . mo.
mentum that was not relaxed until
the boy landed on terra flrma beyond
the pale Of tine goats Jurisdiction.
Western Kansas publisher.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09

A special report from the depart
ment of agriculture at Washington
gives interesting information about
food exports from the United States.
Among other things it is shown that
the United Kingdom of Great Britain
and Ireland is one of our best customers,
and that about half of its meat supply
comes from America. There is not
wanting proof that a great deal of the
roast beef of old England" once
roamed the prairies of the United States
under the lively supervision of the
Yankee cowboy.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09

The capitol guide was telling two New
England school-teachers in the senate
gallery interesting things about tho
senators below. There are several Of
them," he said, that have eaten too
many society dinners and drunk too
much firewater." ooh, how dreadful in
our public men!" said one of the teach
ers. But there is Senator Lodge. He
doesn't drink, does he?" "Oh, no." re-
piled the guide. HE is a teetotaler. He
even thins his water" Such are the
beguiling tales related by the re-
sourceful reporters Of Washington.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09

An employer at Wichita, Kan, got
me of his men to sign the p.edge in
novel way recently. He happened to
meet the workman on tho street and
aoticed that he was pretty yell over
the seas. SO he asked him what the
matter was. The man said he was
suffering with severe toothache. SO
the boss told him to cone along and
have the tooth out. The Ean had to
be game, says the local exchange
which relates the story. but it cost
aim good molar and the work o
swearing on.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09
HGedity.

Il know I'm losing my hair early In
iife." says the young man, passing his
hand over his bare scalp; but my
father and grandfather became bald
1t TO-"
An" comments the pickle-nosed in
dividual.. who is always thinking up
such things. then you are the heir to
their hairlessness." = Magazine OF
Fun.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09
Pitiful.

Tramp-I'd like ter do something to
pay for all this, but I'm cripple, mum.
Housekeeper-You don't look it.
What's the matter?
Writer'S cramp, mum. I've been
keeping list of all the people wot Of
fered me work, mum."-C Chicago Jour-
nal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09

why nOb RtU a
LAVAL cream separator. stop thess
leaks, and double your profits. A DIR
LAVAL machine may be bought upon
such liberal terms that it will more thar
earn its cost while you IRE paying fo,
II and still be good for go years NOR,
OF clear profit use. AS compared with
9Iner seParators the superiority of the
DE LAVAL is seen in the fact that owe,
100000 DE LAVAL machines, ten time.
the number of all others combined. have
been sold to date. You may have ample
trial OF DE LAVAL free of all cost
Now is the time to get DE LAVAL
while cows are making the largest
product, and savings count biggest.
write to-day for free catalogue and
sull particulars.
IRE De LAVAL SEPARATOR Co.
'''' cs,cS ssS, SITS = Ss,,;'s Yn Stree
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09

not using a centrifugal
cream separator from q
per cent. to SO per cent
OF your cream is thrown
away with the skimmilh
just wasted-and the
cows accused of not earn,
ing their feed. In addi
ton your own time ant
labor are being wasted
Whv not pet N nm
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09

Good housekeepers use the best. that's
why they buy Red Cross Ball Blue. At
Leading grocers, 5 cents.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09
50% MORE CREAM
FROM SAME COWS,

Don't accuse your cows of beine
unprontable; Give them square deal
and they will pay you well. II YOU are
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09
Goes the Limit.

Knicker-ls he a reformer!
Bocker-Yes; he advocates the simple
spelling and phonetic life.-N. Y. Sun.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1906-06-09

1t is quite possible for a big man to
shrink from his duty and for a small man
70 rise to the ocacsion.-N. Y. Times.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20
THE COMING CARNIVAL.
Brownie Balloon Company VIII Exhibit
in Bryan All Next Week.

Mr.. Leon Brownie arrived in
the city yesterday in advance of
his big carnival attraction which
COMES 10 this city Sunday night
and will exhibit all next week,
Jan. % to p, on the plaza near the
depot. Mr.. Brownies company
has eight attractions, cerries sew
enty-ive people and is on its sew
enteenth month i'm Texas without
closing. Attention is directed to
the half page advertising an.
nouncement elsewhere.
The Palestine Daily Herald of
Thursday Jan. is, says:
THE Brownie Balloon Company
experienced a mild rush at their
various attractions last night, and
no doubt did very satisfactory
business. The SHOWS were all
we'll patronized. This company
has proven itself clean and at
tarctive one, with some real meri.
torious attractions. The glass
blowers pavilion is an interest.
ing place, and half an hour can be
spent there very proftably. The
theatre shows some splen.
did moving pictures; the fire dance
is good, as well as the pictures
they show. The ferris wheel
and the merry go-round come in
for their share of the patronage.
The "crazy house" gives good
crowds something to laugh about
In fact, the shows are worth your
patronage" "
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20
BRAzOs COUNTY TEACHERS.
Institute Met Yesterday with Prof. J. l.,
Cobb Presiding-Coniinues Today.

The Brazos County Teachers
Institute met yesterday for the first
sessions of a two days meeting,
with President j. l.. Cobb of Alex
andria presiding, and Miss Eva
Mcdonald Of Liberty school acting
secretary. The attendance of the
teachers from the country was
splendid, and the interest in the
program work strong.
Examinations in the Bryan pub
lie schools beginning next Monday,
the local teachers were busy with
review work yesterday and una
BILE to attend the first days sessions,
which was matter Of regret to
them. They will, however, be
present in force today. and the at
tendance will likely be large.
Prof. ID. J. Mcdonald opened
the morning session with prayer
An excellent paper on "How Can
Supplementary Reading be Intro
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20
EXTREME SIMPLICITY.
Nearly Every Chicago Business House
Closed During Funeral OF Field.

Chicago. Jan. is.-Exireme simplicity
characterized the funeral Of the late
Marshall Field Nearly every establish
ment In the business district closed
during the services. Never before In
Chicaso's history WAS such lengthy
funeral procession en-.
Friday afternoon. soon after the last
burial rites had been observed the old
er Of the 10000 employees OF the Field
establishments IN this city held me-
mortal meeting ~ the Auditorium II
was impossible for an the attaches 20
gain admission Addresses In praise OF
the departed merchant were made b.
officials 81 the F1sld stores ana en-
pl0yes.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20

duced into the Public Schools, y
was read by Miss Leila Yardley
aud was followed by a profitable
general discussion.
1.-THE Bible in the Public Schools"
and how and why ii should be in
troduced, was the theme OF an able
address by DR.. Geo. b. Butler,
president of the Texas Woman's
College. This was also followed
by discussion.
The next thing on the program,
paper by Prof. Il. o. Allen
on "The Place of Formal Gram.
mar in the Public Schools" was
omitted on account of the absence
of Prof. Allen and will be heard
today. The remainder Of the
afternoon was taken up with i'm
promptu talks and discussions.
Al the afternoon session Prof.
r. Mcdonald Of Harvey presented
a fine paper on "How 10 Teach Per.
centsge," and the usual discussion
added TO the value OF the consider
alton Of the subject.
\. Among the teachers present yes
terday were the following:
Misses Leila Yardley, Reliance
school; Eva Mcdonald, Liberty
school; Emma Orr, Alexandria
school; Cora Delaney, Union Hill
school; Essie McSwain, Battle
school; Mrs. d. j. Mcdonald,
Kurten school; Pinkie Ferguson,
Blanton school; Mamie Shealy,
Reliance school; Essie shealy,
Kurten school; Mary Morgan,
Steep Hollow school; Sunshine
Cole, Benson school; Minnie Bell,
Parker school; Pearl Candy, Rock
Praire school; Tennie Mills, Well
born school; Lucy Wilson, Foun-
tain school; Mary Ferguson, Knob
Praire school. Profs. g. p. Foster,
Leonard school; II. o. Jones, Prov
idence school; j. M. Moore. Hickey |
school, w. f. Sheffield, Clairmont
school; Lynn Zimmerman, Pros
pect school; Charlie Locke, Con-
,ord school; j. l.. Stasny, Shiloh
school; J. l.. Cobb, Alexander
school; ID. J. Mcdonald, Kurten
school; r. Mcdonald, Harvey
school; Ollie Buckhaults, Higgs
'chool.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20
TEXAN TORN TO PIECES.
Patrick Smith 81 Houston Horribly
Manglsd in Louisiana.

Memphis Jan. is.-By premaiur,
explosion Of dynamite Patrick smith
senior member OF the firm Of smith a
o'connen. railroad contractors. whose
headauarters are at Houston. IL was
horribly mangled. being bloH y feet
and his body literally torn 10 Pieces.
The remains had to be gathered up In
fragments TO prepare for shipment 10
Houston. He had packed tive efive
sticks OF dynamite In borinEs1at n
point I'm northern Louisiana. where the
firm IL constructing the Iron Noun
tain's new line. A fuse suddenly flashed
and Smiths dreadful fate followed.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20
BODIES RECOVERED.
Az but One Were a, Their Respective
Places Of Work.

Charleston. W. Va Jan ia-All
eighteen bodies have been recovered
from the Detroit mine. ON Paint creek.
the scene Of the dust explosion on
Thursday. The men. exc ~ one. was
found az their places Of work. showing
that the explosion came without warn
ing. one man was found 500 feet from
the entrance. lie was on his way out
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20

The Eagle congratulates the
teachers Of Brazos county and
Judge Board, ex.oflice superintend-
ent, on the success attending the
county institute work and the in
terest manifested therein.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20
OWED TO HIS DEATH.
crszsd From Over Study. Boy Leaps
Into Eternity.

New York. Jan. 1s-Crazed from
over study. fourteen year-old Herbert
Carson. after driving his mother and
father from the house by threatening
20 cut them with carving knife. dived
from the third thory Of the parental
residence and was killed
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20
Row.n Became. Benedict.

Fort Worth. Jan. 1s-At the Della
ware hotel G. II. Bowen. assistant pas
senger and ticket agent OF the North
Texas Traction Railway company and
Mrs Myrtle William. OF ~ Paso were
Thursday night united Ia marriage
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20
Early Repor. Asked.

Washington. Jan. s.-Representa-
tive Burton Of ohio introduced joint
resolution IN the house asking FOR an
early report regarding the use Of wa
tiers flowing over Niagara Falls The
report II requested from United States
members OF the international water
WAYS commission.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20
FREE BAPTIST CHURCH.

Services by the pastor at the Free
Baptist church next Sunday as fol-
lows:
Preaching at II a. M.
Preaching at 1880 p. m.
Sunday school at 9:i5 m.
\. G. +. society $3.50 p. m.
All are invited.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20
COMES UP WEDNESDAY.
II Was Decided to Take Up Statehood
Bill at That Time.

Washington, Jan. ls.--As the result
Of a conference in the speakers room
after the house met Friday II was de-
oid.d to bring up the statehood bill Ia
the house on Wednesday next
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20
Smith Succeeds Wright.

Washington. Jan. is.-Judge Ide will
be relieved from duty az his own re-
quest in June next and General James
y. Smith. former Justice Of the Phil
ippinss supreme court. viii be appoint
cd governor general
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-01-20
Open. steady and Unchanged.

New York. Jan. is-Cotton market
Friday opened steady and unchanged.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
A Good Bill Collector,

THAT man. said the photographer,
"owes me $40 for a dozen cabinets. l
wish 1 dared to treat him as he would
be treated in Russia"
How would that be-" inquired his
listener.
In Russia said the photographer,
IF you don't pay your photogra piers
bill, he hangs your picture in his win
dow upside down. Every Russian pho
tographers window has five or six OF
these reversed pictures in it, and there
is always little crowd of people out
side, craning their necks and saying:
"'Oh, that is Vasili Popoffsky. Won't
he be ashamed?'-And look at Anna
Olinsky. You'd think she'd be able to
pay'-Is that Sonia Gogol there? 1t
certainly is What a pity
Russian photographers, thanks to
this unique method, have no unpaid
bills If only their method was in use
here!"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
Madden-O'Connel WRESTLING Match.

HARTFORD, Conn. Feb. 26.-The
wrestling match between Madden and
O'Connell will take place at the Audi
forum this evening. and several hun
dred athletes and sportsmen from all
parts of New England are here to wit
ness the match. Both men are young
and experienced wrestlers and are said
to be in the very best condition Ac-
cording to the articles of agreement
Madden is to throw O'Connell twice in
one hour, and the winner is to get
one-half of the gross receipts. The
loser gets nothing. Although Madden
has only recently recovered from a Sc
we're illness, his chances are said to
be very good. He is considered the
stronger of the two, but O'Connell. who
is the wrestling instructor at Yale.
has had more experience.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

at Milton Miss Culbertson is recog-
nized as an able financial manager, so
that it is a foregone conclusion that
from the sordid standpoint the trip
will be successful.
This evening, in the chapel, the
Musical club will render a program,
which consists almost entirely of num-
bers by the string quartet.
1t now looks as though the beliger-
ant Freshmen and Sophomores had
signed treaty of peace and called off
their long-looked-for basketball game
The young ladies, who have gymnas-
ium classes this evening, refused to
give up their exercises that the game
might be played, and the captains of
both teams say that they will have
nothing more to do with the matter.
l.. c. Sutherland and James Gill
breath of the victorious debating team
arrived from Forest Grove yesterday
morning They report a pleasant re-
ceptiOn and a fine time. Baldwin, the
leader of the team, stopped for a few
days at his home in The Dalles.
Although it has not been definitely
decided, it now seems to be practically
settled that the executive committee
of the Associated Students of Whit
man will bring Maximillian Dick, the
famous American violinist, to play in
the chapel next Monday evening In
Spokane he played to a thousand dol
lar house, and press reports from all
the places in which he has appeared
are giving him favorable mention. Mr.
Dick is not distinguished in his ap-
pearance by long hair or any other
popularity that is supposed to mark
the musician. He began his career
when very young boy, playing as a
violin prodigy. From that time on ne
kept hard at his work, developing and
improving until he is now recognized
as one of the leaders in his pro-
feSSiOn.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
Engineer Grunsky Is to Reinvestigate
The Scheme.
SENATOR ANkENY STILL HARD At WORK
HOPES REPORT WILL BE MADE
SOON AND SECRETARY WILL
APPROVE PLAN.

Telegraphic instructions were sent to
Engineer Grunsky, of the reclamation
service in Montana, to proceed to
Washington state and make re-
a report received from Washington
city. An agreement was made with
previous estimates of the cost of this
project should be reviewed Senator
Ankeny hopes to get a report within
a month or two, and will then make an
effort to have the secretary file ten
tative approval of the project.
The senate irrigation committee has
decided upon an adverse report on the
Hepburn bill granting settlers On land
within irrigation projects additional
leave of absence. The action is taken
in order to discourage a rush to lands
subject to irrigation too far in advance
of construction. In many instances Set
tiers have gone on the land upon publ
cation of notice that irrigation projects
had been approved by the secretary,
with little prospect of getting water
for several years, and with the posi-
bility that the project would be aban-
doned on account of some engineering
difficulty.
In Washington state settlers went on
Palouse lands and made entry, and
since they went there the government
has announced a practical abandon
ment of the project because Of excess
sive cost. Many of these settlers were
from Seattle and other Puget Sound
cities, and it is probable the delegation
will be called on to get them some
relief, as the lands now are non
productive.