New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-09-30
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

A California Joker sent telegram to his friend
who particularly close in money matters.
The telegram was, L perfectly we'll. and 1t
sent collect. Evidently the telegram set the
thinking. week afterward the joker
had very heavy package brought to him, with
nearly IS to pay on It, On opening 1t, he found
q stone with his thrifty friends card and these
words: This represents the weight your telegram
lifted from my hearth
Brown study-',How do you intend to have the
study decorated. Mrs. Godrocks?' -
Il think III have it decorated In deep brown"
to sit in a deep brown study '-NiIwaukee Sentinel
Last Request.-we would be glad 10 hear
from the Bradshaw correspondent again before
We die.-Salem Va) Times Register
scrupuIously careful about the accuracy OF their
.ews We note this lucid correction in The Sc
ouachaa Tenn) News: 81 want TO thank Mrs
Carson very much for correcting the sad mistake
that was made about her going to Utah, as the
party Of friends did not understand that her son
was so far from that place. and II she does not
allow everybody their privileges it would be a
helpless thing. for they have them just the same
HOW TO BE HAPPY. THOUGH MARRIED.
IA Chicago wife just celebrated the sxtieth amt
versary OF happy marriage gives the following ADVICE
the way TO do i'll
IF you want to have happy married life" says
And, Of course. that's what each womans aim
Now i igs BIT -four into your ears young women
D6 or the 5 H s9oeF q no2de Eve II his
love for you; ,,..,o III,
So after you have got him. If you want TO hold
Just feed him well and make him think he's Tt
Don't try for a career to make his name famous
And cause the world to stare in awed surprise:
To advertise that you're the senior partner in the
firm
Don't join the women's clubs and take a part In
So men viii say: Your WIFE Smith. made a hit
/ He won't be half as happy. as contented and as
AS If he gets good grub ana thinks hss Tt
Dent go against the grain of hun an nature when
If you marry. girls, to have happy life;
It isn't ali Your beauty and your talents that viii
Won't hS S s s hear SSs E
Just feed him well and make him think he's Tt &"
Baltimore American.
Senator Butt of the Arkansas Senate had Just
finished little tale about feeding morphine to a
pointer pup and watching him dream. when. &C
cording to THE Memphis Commercial Appeal"
Representative De Rossit said:
Senator your dog reminds me of my hem Need
ing qunine one day. as often do IN the bottom.
I mixed up an ounce of the drug with rnolasses
dry on the front porch. ! went into the house.
Returning, I saw the last OF my pills swallowed
by my hen.
"Of course. thought her silly head would burst
wide open. She simply commenced cackling and
has been laying two eggs day since. And
do you know. Senator those eggs ara the best chill
tonic the market One OF them taken internally
will knock the spots from any case OF malaria In
the state. and shaking ague can't stand before 'en
an hour after they are eaten I keep that hen
dosed. do"
counsel was one day browbeating an elderly
female witness III. 1. in case before him Having
the lawyer appealed to tho Judge to make her an
madam asked the Judge ''Beos s my my lord. he
scares me So" replied the trembling woman. so
An Eric Ran) woman was much astonished to
receive letter from another woman asking for a
slip of her hall tree IT understand" she wrote
you've got sood variety of hall trees, and as
we've Just finished US new house with q real moe
hsu Wen need a tree an we'd be SO much
obliged Il you'd send US q alp NV your'n. And
please VIII you send along with the slip directions
tellin' us whether to water It from the top er
bottom"
.AA5pd you didn't propose to herr
....Ehyr.
i was leading UP to IT, but suddenly noted tnat
pS d voice had sort OF previous-engagement rihs
AA.o1e "sS z onei In Edinburgh recently oe'"eo"
TWO Italians over q girl with whom both were smit-
oth IL took place at midnight in the presence OF
perV or friends. The duellists had but one rovei-
W.T. and drew lots for the first shot Tho winner
shot at forty PAGES and missed Then he walked up
% MS opponent and politely handed the piston over
"nen tho man had walked back 10 his station the
second shot was fred. and also missed DO the TWO
men rushed forward and embraced each other' and
tho feud ended
You Can't Always TelL-'Here is an account Of
another beggar who died In apparent Povssry. ana
Ser ,er his death IT found that ne na9 Se'eEal
oSesiSSbooks and some valuable seoSIItiSs
A. the moral OF which ia payr % ais'ssSsouW
A0e - H1QUn0nO3A