The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-09-09
r o MAN ON
/ THE CROSSING.
Or Was 1t a Pigment Of Blood
thirsty Mr.. StogSly's Race
Against AutOs?

at got on my nerves, I will admit : said
Mr.. StogEly. -and also it irritated me per-
sonally to have the man in the auto just
honkl honkl at me as he oame rushing for
the crossing, putting il up to me to hustle
to get out Of his way; 1t made me nervous
to have to jump like that, and 1t irritated
me to have anybody treat me with u
utter and complete contempt.
Moreover, as l understand it, the Pc
destrian has the right Of way on a crossing,
and it is the vehicle that should give way
to him, not he to the vehicle. But here
were men who we're depriving me Of my
should be inalienable rights absolutely,
and not only so. but doing this with the
utmost rudeness and i'll manners. giving
no more thought or consideration to me
than they would to a squeaking pig cross
ing their course, not considering me as n
person at all, but simply honk honking to
me to get out Of the way, to skip, jump,
skiddoo.
at really was disturbing and this 30
wrought upon me that it csnH to seem that
it would be wholly right 70 employ any
means in retaliation.
II have a friend, an ingenious and re-
souroeful friend, who makes it his business
to build working models for~ Inventors
from plans, or rude models submitted, or,
as he sometimes does, simply from ideas;
and not infre 4uently he supplies missing
links; he breathes the breath Of life into
machines that without his help would
never have moved. He is the inventors
friend. this friend Of mine and TO him /
went with my idea, with full confidence
that he could bring it into b~eing-which
he did.
The idea was for a mechanically ~actuated
iron man which could be made to nov
along over a street crossing, and this idea
he wrought out with entire success. He
made the figure that Of a man OF only or
binary stature, but OF decidedly portly
build, that of a nan who would naturally
walk with his feet somewhat a~part-this
to give the figure a broad and stable base
on the ground--and would walk slowly.
I'VE propped up the floor OF my friends
laboratory from underneath and tried
the figure there and it worked perfectly.
How much the iron man weighed l don't
know. because we never weighed 1t; but IL
must have been seventeen tons, at least.
Running through that part Of the town
in which l dwell is a broad avenue much
frequenJed bv automobiles, and on this
avenue there is one particular crossing,
customarly taken by me. from which often,
TO escape destruction, 1 have been COM
PEELED to Jump and flee. Near the close
Of one bright summers day we brought
the iron man. suitably clad, along n stOod
him up at one end Of this crossing and faced
him right and set him going slowly over.
OF course there was a chance that he
would miss all the autos or that the autos
would all miss him, and then IL would have
been all for nothing, for we Couldn't stay
there n repeat indefinitely. 1t didn't turn
out 40, however, though the figure was half
way over before anything happened. Then
something did happen.
Coming bounding down the venue
there was a bright red runRbout, with a
battleship sized horn, now honk, honking
for the fat man on the crossing to skip,
skip along. and keeping coming full tilt
straight at him, never doubling that he
would Jump in time. But this man wasn't
a jumper, and the next instant the little
red auto was upon him, with results
amazing.
The Fat man wasn't smashed, destroyed,
annihilated by The collision; he wasn't
even upset by il, but the little red auto
with the big horn, coming at him fair and
square, and spilling out the two men that
had been in 1t, az II rose, rode up his side
when it hit him, and fell over back from
him a wreck.
Il guess there was something doing there,
don't you hin and-and what a tribute,
this, to the skill and solid workmanship
of my friend the builder the shock didn't
even disarrange the machinery of the iron
man who. az the red auto went TO smash,
walked steadily on, quite calm and I'M
disturbed.
"A greater shock was TO come for
the iron man, one under which he did 90
down at last though even a. he Law fallen
he wrought dire destruction on the big
machine that bowled him over.
This was a giant automobile that was
coming booming down the avenue a little
to the right Of the little red auto and not
very far behind il. with its horn hoarsely
hooting: and while yet the iron man had
advanced scarcely ten feet further in his
calm, unruffied progress this giant machine
was upon him with an irresistible shock,
and down he went; but as the great auto
shot on forward over his PROSTATE form
his hard feet and hands and elbows caught
in and seemed to loosen up every part Of
its machinery, for az it still shot forward
it dropped, along, carbureters and COM
mutators. and spark plugs and cEanks,
and cylinders and tanks. a line Of auto
mobile junk stretching scattering for a
block, to where the bare body OF the machine
finally rested, with its dazed owner staring
back wildly.
Not much to he joyful over, this, you
say? Perhaps so; still, it soothes me
some"