Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-06-29
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The Old Straw Lid.

The Old Straw Lid.
Oh. happy the man that has left over
clothes
Low shoes and tan socks and all that
But woe to the fellow whose wife says to
him:
Here's perfectly good last years hiatt!
Oh, yeliowed. by sun and despatched by
rain,
She drags a from out it's retreat.
It's good as the day that you bought It,
Say, sKIDDoor sreets the hat on the
street!
chides,
For "newsy' knows gibes that are pat
Oh. pity the man with the leftover I'D
See de guy wild de last summers hat!'
Spring zephyrs.
But, after all, ten-cents- Gambler in
Chicago should not be regarded as a
national calamity.
Looping the loop" and jumping
the gap" are no longer the most hair.
erecting feats of the modern circus.
''The dip of death" is now the acme
of thrillers. The act comes from
Paris. A woman drives an automobile
down a steep incline. around loop,
up sudden curve, ties knot in the
air, strikes another incline with a
smash and goes spinning away to the
finale-wherever that is! The gay
lady chauffeur complains that
'the dip of death" gives her a head
ache. It gave the first woman who
tried It, $12 coffin.
George AIDES college Widow" is
showing in Chicago. George is being
shown in Europe. Both AIDE and his
widow" are very much alive, al
though at first thought this might
seem a gross mis-statement. No, she
Is not a grass-w idow-she Is George
AIDES widow. Yes, and AIDE alive!
Aw, g'wan, what's tn matter with you
don't yer read the papers?
AS to spelling reform, let's adopt a
rule that spelling at 1t" shall be con-
sidered as correct as spelling it."
II the desire is to save the time ordi-
narily expended searching the diction-
airy, wouldn't this solve the prob
lem? Another plan of reformation
would be to shoot the "ie" out of
4 "mien" and the "ei" out of weird"
If Mr.. Carnegie hesitates about COM
hitting murder in cold blood, sup
pose he pass the gun to me. It's per-
sonal matter with "Uncle By"
II you are sufficiently frightened
over the coal strike, better put your
next winters coal in now.
It will never do to let the prune
serving landlady read that article
about the French miners subsistins
20 days on bark and chopped hay
Neigh, neigh!
Just to rub 1t into the theatrical trust
Sarah Bernhardt's successful tour Of
Texas in a circus tent was preceded
by an ex-president Of the Press HUI
morists' association, who acted as ad
vance man. The Divine Sarah mad
J 'em take a joke this time, all right
! all right.
That $4,000 ton battleship woul,
make a nice watchcharm for J. Ham
Lewis, Chicagos pink-whiskered col
poration counsel.
It is reported that lady admire
has sent Speaker Joe Cannon a was
sloth." This reminds me that whil
all girls cannot be beautiful. they ma
: at least keep their ears clean!
: Had bite yet?
A Chicago woman complains to tn
newspapers because she loses her rul
bers in the mud while crossing I'll
street. These aesthetic new arriva
make a man tired. What's a Chicae
u street crossing for, I'd like to know
!, The truly philosophical man WI
: has taken coin with hole in
will whistle softly to himself an
. make a watchcharm of 1t. The f1na
: eier would probably utilize the san
:. .oin in the purchase of doughnut
y While endeavoring to outwit the p
- lice, a Chicago saloonkeeper h,
: solved heretofore knotty probler
= Above the saloonkeeper's maison-d
y joie is gambling room where Il
. blue-coated ~minions of the law q
u prone to interfere. To give the alar
y an electrical piano is stationed In Il
" bar-room below. At the arrival of Il
81 police, the barkeep stealthily push
~ the button, the piano pipes up, "Who
= You Heifer." and the gamblers ma
81 their getaway. So much for the
.. ano as warning to the lawless, but
~ has 1t occurred to you that the pia
he must be still at all other times? WI