Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-12-08

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Howell Did that fellow who want.
I'd you to invest have a sure thing, as
le claimed: Powell-Yes; / was it
Judge
Friend-if YOU love Miss Gotrox, old
nam, why don't YOU marry her? Bache-
or Doctor Heavens! man, she is one
1f my best patients Judge,
Fife But, papa. how do you know
that It was stork that brought us
he new baby? Papa Because my
tear, just saw his bill !-Woman's
Home Companion
II would be easier TO be content with
'itle If nobody had any more.--Life.
Visitor What are you doing here,
ny poor man? CoWict-Time, mum.
Baltimore American.
Ignorance of the law" said the
nudge, excuses no one THAT being
he case, reiolned the prisoner, Its a
wonder the jury didn't find my lawyer
guilty. - Chicago Daily News,
Our imitation is really considerably
better than the real thing" You don't
say Then hadn't we better egn
autioning the public TO beware Of he
senuineT -Louisville Courier Journal.
She. Were you ever in street car
accident? He-Yes. The ear was COM
pletely wrecked. but the passengers
we're packed so tight that only the out
side layers were injured.-Chicago
News
Let me see, said she. what is It
YOU call these men who run automo-
bilesT' Pardon me-" replied the sai-
liant man. I'm too much of gentle
man 10 tell you what | call them. -
Philadelphia Ledger
"Slowboy is about discouraged. He's
been waiting ten years for n promotion
and hasn't got II yet" That's the
trouble Ii he'd worked more and
waited less he'd have had II long ago"
Detroit Free Press.
what wonderful vocabulary the
new minister has said Mrs. Oldcastlc
Yes replied her hostess, ITS almost
as big as Josah's Uncle Williams VAS,
only his turned into a goItre, at last"
- Chicago Record Herald.
II wonder" said the man who was
given to thought at times. Il wonder
what is meant by the embarrassment
II riches" The poor relation. very
likely" replied the man who was one.
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
! nashaway want you to meet Miss
Hopper. Stunning girl just back
from Europe. Cicyerton Her FIRST
visitg Yes" We'll, old man, II It's
the same to you IN wait until she's
gotten through telling about 't."-~l.ifc.
Wait minute til I get my clothes
off :" came shrll voice from the back
end Of the cable ear All the strap
| holders turned their hends rs one man.
| II was small boy striving to drag
off the hamper containing his mothers
washing Judge.
Mother (who has been asked 10 sug-
gcst game for rainy afternoon)--
! why don't you pretend YOU are me?
And George can be- daddy. Then YOU
might play at housekeeping. Daughter
But. mother, we've quarrelcd once
already Punch.
That's all right sis" answered
| Tommy II could see that you We're
only playing telephone. lie WAS ring
ing YOU up oh, you needn't hide Your
left hand behind you but he had his
lips entirely too close To the receiver"
Chicago Tribune.
cant YOU Gud any work at ALT"
asked the kind lady Of Prayed Frank
| lin. Plenty, num- But everybody
wants references from me last EN-
ploycr" "Cant YOU get themY NO,
mum He's been dead % years. -
Milwaukee Sentinel
You don't realize that there are
other considerations IN life than
money" said the ccnsOrious friend.
Yes, / do" answered Senator Sor-
ghum But whenever | want my
thing done | can't get the other fellow
to realize It,. Washington Star
ION. lady, | do loSe peach cake"
! hlntcd the hungry hobo ms be rested
| his greasy sleeve ou the gatepost.
Well" replied the honscw Re with the
rolling pin. suppose | should make
! you some peach cake. Would you do
any NorkG' "Would I, NUM- Why,
| / would ID de hardest work | ever did
| in my life" And what would you
/ g." why. I'd climb dat tree aud
get enough peaches fer dc cake. - Chi
! cago Daily News
I