The Washington times., 1906-04-01

having no teeth at all?' Pop says:
This place is getting just like a
negro minstrel show, Nothing but
jokes, and pretty bum ones at that
ali day long."
Ham pondered over the gorilla's
question for some time and then gave
it up. The gorilla told him it was a
honeycomb and that's just what
was going to say only he spoke too
quick
Bilhah suggested that all the she
animals start a Mother Sorority"
for the purpose of uplifting and bet
tering their minds or something like
that l asked her what sorority is
and she said it was a sort Of sister,
hood. 1 don't see why they didn't
call il that al first. She wanted me
to go down and talk to the animals
about il, because, while she has no
particular fear of lionesses, tigresses,
bearesses and such, she IS moTtally
afraid of a COW and there are several
to wit. the COW buffalo. the COW bison,
the COW moose, the COW tapir, the
plain ordinary mich COW without
mentioning the cowbird, among u.s.
I was to talk to them about the OBJ
jects of the sorority, which, she says
will be the care Of the young, the
sterilization of milk, the use Of in
sect powder and the toothbrush. the
study OF the infant mind IN its de-
velopment, the care Of eyes and a
whole lot of similar rubbish, Just
for fun l put It up 10 the hippopota-
mus and, much to my surprise, she
said:
That's a splendid ideal Mrs. Ham
Is a clever woman and the plan is
worthy of her brilliant intellect"
But the she-cameI snorted loudly
and made other disgusting noises as
If she were about 10 be sick; then
she said:
Don't pay any attention TO that
black pudding-faced thing she never
had a baby and like all such is quite
ready to give advice 10 mothers.
Half the females on board this
Ark are like her Real mothers
haven't any time 10 waste reading
papers on teething and the hives
TO a lot Of old spinsJeTs and gTannies
and il they have you can bet their
children are going round with their
hair all unlocked and half starved
all the day long, And say, when you
come round here talking about
proper food. recOllect that a camel
calls anything that It can masticate
proper, from a porch chair to a
waste basket, I tasted some door
water when I was carrying the mail
over in GhuZZrah last summer, And
nobody said anything about steriliz-
ing them. either, IT'S all tOmmyrot
about being so careful with chill
dren's food. I give my little ones,
when they are weaned. the very
richest food, such as hickory splint-
ers, cookie burrs, thistles, and ex-
celsioT, Whatever they can easily
digest is good enough for a young
and growing camel and you can tel
Mrs. Ham I said so, too,"
The pensive William Goat, who
was standing by, shook his whiskers
and remarked:
That is quite true. I think. Yet,
on reflection, you viii surely admit
that there are some things that are
quite inadviSable 10 feed to young
infants, Such indigestible stuff. for
instance, as linOleum, rubber shoes,
or asbestos packing. | incline to
the belief that instruction in such
matters is very necessary once
caught my wife allowing my kid.
10 taste a cellulOid cOllarl"
-BOsh, snOTted the she-camel.
Saying 'bosh' is no argument. but
females are all utterly unreasonable,
My wife's first husband. peace be
with him, was an instance of un-
controlled appetite He ate what
seemed TO be some sort Of a stick
with considerable relish. but q little
later, getting irto a heated argument
with another goat, and, as usual,
butting in with some force. he sud
denly went off With a loud report
and was never seen again. A few
fragments were all that returned
from the sky"
What did he eat?" inquired the
she-camel.
1t was a stick of dynamite Had
he been wiser he would have been
here today and II would be
bachelor"
Well. that is neither here nor
there, exclaimed the she-eamel;
perhaps the kangaroo or the opos-
sum. who has some twenty children
at time in her pouch or clustered
on her tail, might need instruction
or, az least. assistance. but most OF
US are well posted"
How about your cousins, the
Hamas or the guanacOs?" 7 asked.
Cousins, What? Do yOu mean
to insinuate that they are related to
u.s. Next you will hint that the
Babirousa or the Wart Hog IS my
brother" snapped the camel.
of course they are and so are
the Vicunas and the Alpacas. For
that matter" I added. "The pigs
are placed in the same order as the
camels. that OF the UnguIata.
Now, see here" exclaimed the
camel half-rising; IF you we're sent
down here TO call me hames and in
suit me by saving that / am in an
order. Just as Il YOU were a waiter
in a restaurant. ] want 10 tell Won
that / won't stand il, not for one
minute, UnSuIata, I'll tell my hus-
band about that.
It's Shauoaf,,f ft.-