davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23
Between Trains

1t takes the most illmanered sort
Of a pessimist to assert that the cases
of love at first sight multiply with
the increase of impaired vision.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

A Memphis man has discovered a
new way to get rid of mosquitoes.
He says to rub alum on your face and
hands. When the mosquito takes a
bite 1t Fuckers its buzzer SO 1t can't
sting 1t sits down in a damp place,
tries to dig the quicker loose, catches
its death of cold, and dies of pneu-
monia.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23
Natural.

He's a man that takes real interest
in his work
whats his business 7"
''Loaning his own funds"
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

Elliot Miller tells how General
Grant made his father, Chaplain
Miner, swear: 1T was one of the
chapfains duties to receive and dis
tribute Nthe mail to Grants staff.
When the mail was late he was an
noyed by questions as to the cause
of the delay and time of possible ar
rival. On one occasion when the
post was unusually late, the chaplain
for fear of losing his temper, attached
the following notice to the door OF
his tent: The chaplain does not
know when the mail will arrive.
ortly afterwards General Grant
ng that way noticed the sign,
ing out TO her tent few mo-
.ents later the chaplain was horri-
ded to read: The chaplain does
not know when the mail will arrive
and he does not give a dam
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

flames did you take my letter to
she postoffice and pay postage ON it -
Father, / saw lot of men put
ting letters in little place and when
no one was looking | slipped yours
an for nothing"
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23
CHURCH PLANS READY.

Architect ]. T. Hutton received
the complete plans for the new Meth
odist church from the blue printer
yesterday. Work will be begun on
the $4,000 edifice at once.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

Some people get married because
their friends want to see them disci-
plined.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

The evening Journal of Monticello
says that Tom Mccoy enters State
prison with determination to stay
by it." Its rather a convenient de-
termination to have just at this time.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

While Upton Sinclair is expatiat-
ins On the value OF advertising, the
Western meat packers are busy COM
putting the cost of his brand of ad-
veTtisement.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

did you ever see a house of seven
gablesy
mo; but l have seen one of seven
teen gabhles. My three unmarried
aunts live there
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

The public schools need a primer
for the new generation styled. Com
mon honesty in the business world. .
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

Now that the June bride crop Is in.
Those who got left should try
With more success. let's hope, to win
Her sister in July.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

A popular young man is one who
knows how to drop a compliment In
the slot and get some taffy.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

A gentleman who conducts a
wholesale business says that his ex-
perience with Office boys can be
summed up in three words: Hired
Tired-Fired.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

He who learns by the experience OF
the other fellow is the one who makes
the money.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

You need 10 sand your fingers often
when you are dealing with slippery
people.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

With King Alfonso Weighing 125
pounds and Princess Ena tipping the
room to question who sits on whose
lap.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

You need to be on the payroll Of
rich institution in order to be min
istering angel nowadays.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

When you see an anarchist COM
ing down the street, leave the lid OF
the coal hole.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

An automobile is a source of disap-
pointment- or of amusement, Just as
you or your neighbor IS paying the
bills.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

If man were healthy. wealthy and
wise he would find It hard 10 keep out
OF the dime museum
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

A man mag groan
and groan and be a
hypocrite still.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

Time and tide wait for no man. but
the summer shower lays for the fellow
with q new eslit of clothes.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

When a man be-
comes seedy he needs
a little narrowing and
cultivating.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

horse radish which is made to be
used in season and made into horse
radish flour to be used out Of season.
Horse radish -four. think Of it
What If the cook should mistake it
for the Pillsburys. and attempt TO
make biscuits ont OF IT,
Then there are onion pickles, Gu
cumber pickles and all the rest of
the list, with few besides.
olive ole IS casks OF Government
inspected and therefore perfectly
pure oil has inst been imported from
Europe
ship Loads Of Olives.
Ana While yoa are down in the
basement looking az the olive oil
casks Just take notice Of the six or
ven hundred hogheads Of olives just
imported in two ships from Seville
spain
You don't doubt the man when
he tells YOU they cost $4,000.
on your way back through the
plant you see the machine that fills.
covers and soldiers $4,000 tin cans
day To see it in operation you
would imagine that the machine
could almost think.
The other products begin with
onion extract ana end with root beer.
Marachino cherries for your cock
tails glazed cherries for your sun
daes, maple syrup not made from
corn cobs but actually brought from
old Vermont, sauer krout, pork and
beens, buckwheat, extracts, ginger
ale, grape juice and jelHes about
4 complete the list although the com
panies chemist may have discovered
a new chow chow before evening.
The plant is one of the most com
plete in the United States. 1t is DO.
sitively sanitary There is ample
protection from fire by the automati,
sprinkler system 50 that the $50 EN-
ployes work under the most favo
rable conditions.
To show how Systematically tn,
work is done, the cost system ma,
be taken as an example. Ever,
bottle, every cork, every pound o
sugar and every jar of fruit ar,
positively accounted for at the en-,
of each days work and what is more
the exact cost of each article inclu
ding the cost of materials and labo
may be known at any time.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

Opportunity gets knocked much Of
tener than it knocks.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

Kind words pay big dividends on the
investment
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23
Needed Muscular Help.

did he make a success as farmer ?"
mo; the crops wouldn't thrive on
good advice"
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1906-06-23

Saturday. June %. 1906
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20
Cyclone in Nebraska.

Tecumseh, Neb Sept. IS -
Two violent and seemingly dis
Stinct storms visited johnson
county yesterday afternoon, re-
sulting in the death of four per-
sons, fatal injuriug Of two and
painful injury of five others.
The dead:
%. A. ,Giel, 40 years old;
LEAVES wife and five ch ildren.
August Zeman, As years old;
leaves wife and three children.
Roy Carmine, boy of II years.
George Koehler, schoolboy
of IA years.
A barn was struck by light
ming near the town Ut Elm
Greek. A party of thresLers
was at work on the farm of
Henry Walthers, when a rain
and electric storm came up.
-Four OF the men ~crawled uu-
der the threshing machine,
which was shattered by a light
ming bolt and the three instant
lyckilled.
Henry Walters, Jr., was bad
1y shocked and burned, but will
probably recover.
The second storm, tornado
in violence, swept a country
district. ten miles west of TIE
cumseh. demolishiug a school
house, crushing to death the
Koeh!er boy. fatally injuring
two other school children, uni
Identified, and in hicting severe
injuries on four others in the
school house.
Many barns and wind mills
were blown down, but there
have been no further reports Of
deaths or injuries.
There was a very heavy fal,
of rain over the country.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20

II don't know that my fort
une is due to any fixed princi-
Piles. 1 only use common sense
There is no place in the
world where women can be per-
secuted as here. American
heiresses have a worse time
than the Indian widows
The trouble with most per-
sons is that they want to spend
but they don't want to work.
LEARN how to manage your
brains. and you will know how
to manage your fortune. Intel
ligence is better than Greek
and Latin, and good morals
will stand by you better than a
fine education.
L am afraid of two thugs,
lightning aud religious lawyers.
I am a Quaker, and l believe in
peace just by being ready, like
a standing army.
divorce is the saddest thing.
Too many women never learn
anything about housekeeping,
and instead of attending to
household matters after mar
riage they are without interest
in them. They primp up and
parade around, and then mer
primp up and parade around,
and trouble follows.
THE young folks OF today
have not inherited common
sense.
Automobiles, like the giving
of tips, are extravagaut things
They chug, chug along, wasting
money, destroying nerves
breaking down and smashing
property. They kick more thar
mules do
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20
To all Demo- ISlI, Voters

If there ever was a time in
the history of the Democratic
party for the manifestation of
loyalty and patriotism on the
part it's members, it is right
now.
If we are to win a victory and
elect a President two years
I'ence. we must first elect
House of Representatives this
II. A Democratic House eau
nd will investigate every de-
pdrtment of the Government.
With all of them honeycombed
y graft" the edges of which
rnly, have been touched by re-
ent exposure and prosecutions
,"ere will be a revelation of
rottenness that will astound the
c untry, and create a demand
for Democratic administration
II clean the Government work.
shop.
To win the House we ueed
m oney to defray legitimate ex
expenses and get out our vote.
We have no protected monopo-
lies from which to draw to fill
our Golfers, as they do those of
the Republican party. We
must, therefore, appeal to 10y
al Democrats tor contributions
Will you send $1.0O at once,
and in return for this we will
send you copies of our campaign
literature issued by the Com
mittee. You will have the
thanks of the entire Democrat
ic party for your favorable
response to our request.
Address all remittances to-
j. M. Griggs. Chairman,
Munsey Building,
Washington, d. G.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20
Hitch Rack.

Another tempest in the tea
pot is on and Vengence is Mine
sayeth the Lord.
Some people want the hitch
rack near st. Jude church abol-
lshed or removed and now that
the farmers north of the city
have learned of it, they are hot
in the collar and say:
1--WE will not trade with mer-
chants signing that petition.
If they do not want US to hitch
in town then, we guess we can
hitch at north line of city and
can haul our goods from the
depot. for If they do not want
our trade, Sears & Sawbuck do.
for they knock at our doors
daily with their advs, asking
us to trade with them. Why, l
have hitched there since 1 was
boy, but. if the merchants ob.
ject, l can quit and when do
the merchants will see blamed
little of me-"
Now Mr.. Merchant the DEMO.
Graf simply chronicles the
news, what people say and
what people think and are do
ing or threatening to do.
We are neither klcKers nor
roor-backs. but in the present
as in the past and it will be SC
in the future, the DEMOCRAT
will hold Up The Public Mirror
before you so you may know
Just what is going on around
you and place you in a position
where you will know, will un
derstand and can start things
to working smoothly wher
there is friction.
You have it in your power tt
either retain or remove the
hitch racks, what will you d.
about it?
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20
Hetty Green's Philosophy.

II look upon property large
ly as a trust. take care Of it
much on the same principle
that you would take care of a
valuable animal were it left in
your charge. My father had
the idea that the money one in
herited should be given over
uudimlnished to the next gen.
GRAFTON. That is the way ]
have felt.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20
How the japanese Fooled the Fakir.

How the Japanese Fooled the Fakir.
From the London Telegraph.
The street takir who was sell
ing cement near the steps of the
court house stood behind a lit
tie table on which was conspic-
uously displayed the sign: "a
box of this cement given free to
anybody who can break any of
these apart"
There were spools. blocks of
wood, and other articles that
had been cemented together
and most of them bore marks OF
having been struggled with by
persons with grimy hands in
vain attempts to wrench them
apart.
A swarthy little fellow who
had stopped in front of the ia
ker's stand pointed to a round
peg that appeared to have been
dipped in the cement aud driven
into a good sized chunk of wood,
and asked him what would be
the reward for pulling it out.
IF you can pull that out"
said the pedler, I'll give you a
silver dollar"
The peg projected a little
more than a quarter of an inch
above the block.
The swarthy little fellow
placed his left hand on the
block to hold it down, took the
peg between the thumb and
forefiuger of his right hand, and
pulled it OUT with apparent ease.
a portion of the wood coming
away with it.
Great Scott" gasped the
man behind the table. What
your"
"Me Japanese dentist" re-
piled the little fellow, pocket
ing the silver dollar and walk
ing away with a grin on his
face.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20
Divorce in Canada.

From fhe Montreal Standard.
Canada is happily free from
the horrors of divorce as these
are constantly exemplified in
the United States. Our people
have the inestimable privilege
of growing up in the belief aud
conviction that marriage is a
sacred contract, to last the
length of human life, during
which there shall be a mutual
companionship, mutual service,
mutual willingness to bear and
forbear in the fluctuations OF
moods which must mark the
record OF every human creature,
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20
Levy & Yates

pher that you can't get on the
good side OF Providence by sim
ply abusing the devil; and yet,
that seems to be the idea of
some of the brethren.
Wen Trouble takes de middle
er de road it's a wise man dat
takes low path thoo' de val
legs.
Let US all hope fer de best, en-
wen we gifts ter de worst, press
on. en- make out lax it didn't
happen
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20
W. c. 7. U. Convention.

Mesdames Perry Maxwell, IT,
E. Willard, M, P. Nolen, Emma
Longmire, j. b. Gray and D. H.
Stevens went to the Bluff City
Thursday to attend the W. G.
T. U. Convention.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20

After a visit of two months
with her friend, Miss Mamie
Yates, Miss Aubrey Blck return
ed to her home. st. Louis, Sat
urday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20

Miss Eula Moss, of Palmyra,
has been spending several days
with her friend. Mrs, William
Bnckman.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20
''SOngs of the SOiI''
BY FRANK L STANTON
THE WELCOME GUEST


You been so long away
You KEEP me projickin' about ter
fin de place you stay;
1 bunt you on de hilltop, 1 hunt
you on de plain
In de bright light er de sunshine,
ia de shadder er de rain.
En- wen [ think 1 los you, en-
my soul is sighin' some
On de road what seem so lone
some, L look-en here you
come,
Des lax de unexpected! En- you
take a chair, en- say:
You'll like me all de better
kaze 1 been so long away
Mawnin', Mr.. Happiness! De
longest life amt long;
We got so much er sorrow dat
we thankful fer a song!
De home-lights shine de bright
est-de worl's too wide ter
roam:
1 wish you'd say: II come ter
stay"-en make my heart
yo' home!
Trouble don't stan no chance
with a man who goes whistlin'
on his way, en- makes out dat
de worl's all right.
Climb ez high ez you wants
ter, but don't ia il ter pick out a
good, soft place, whar you kin
fall easy.
Satan gifts so much abuse dat
1 reckon he must say, some.
times; well! anyhow, I reck-
on I'm a good deal wuss than
them that talks about met
Oars ez good fish in de river
ez them what you didn't ketch.
De best thing, after all, is de
faith er de fisherman, to Keep
on tryin'.
De sayin' is dat Faith kin
move mountains; but, eff you des
got enough ter keep yo'self a.
movin' you better thank de
| LaWd.
Oars some folks dat will be
turned away fun heaven; en-
wen dey gifts ter de yuther
place, the devil will look 'um
over, en- say: Hell is too full
already"
What you reckon you gwine
ter do wen YOU gifts ter glory"
"Who-me? 1 amt gwine tel
do nuthin, but des ak 'um ter ak
: no questions, but des femme
. creep in en- rest"
We will all make enough cot
r ton this year to satisfy the
sheriff.
, Dick Burrin had his head
: blowed clean off by a saw mill
r one day last week.
' Tom Tisick is a mig hty gooc
| fellow-we dinuered with hin
i on Sunday, and suppered will
: him Tuesday.
S Justice court was largely at
l tended. Our leading justic'
sentenced one man to be hang
D ed, but found out afterwards
e that he was exceedin' his au
o thority.
We're mighty thankful in thil
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1906-09-20

It's the opinion of a philoso.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1906-05-31
SUMMER TINE IN ALASKA.
The Days Are So Long That There Is
No Time in Which
to Sleep.

when l tell my friends that in Alas
ka during the no..,!s Of June. July and
August We ave ai.oat continual sun-
light and that it Y get, Gerh in The
summer months they invariably ask
when we sleep. said +. A. Cross. a
merchaM: from Council. Alaska. reports
the Portland O~regcnian.
Wei, We sleep wAenever we have the
opportunity. Very few OF us have Il
regular time for going to bed sno aris-
ms. except the miners. vino WORK GA
SA4.,s ai.si have TO l. more D.leti, Il i.
I'm the winter the, IS p,ac .ny
nothing doing. and the few pol No
stay there n sleep all they size.
But when spring opens up haslaess
fic"ris. Every one ha, - Work all
he possibly car because We .ul.n.er is
very short and a great ,.aa. ass TO be
accomplished to maxi 10 ,ar the stag
nation during the Wit months.
The verdure aDc ur4sa eruw with a
rapld:ty that is asst ..n.ns.u die warm
months. Plants grow SO rapidly ;aat we
can raise .err.es ANA the harder vege-
tables be.Cre frost sets in"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1906-05-31
NEW HOMES III THE WEST

Over a million acres of land viii
be thrown open TO se'tlcmcn, on
the -hoshone Indian Reservation
Angus, u. 1906. These lands ar,
reached by the direct route of TIL
Chicago 4 Noyth-W Western Ry.
from Chicago. Il. Paul. Minne&u.
oils. Omaha. and other points il
the Mississippi valley. Send e n
stamps ior pamphlets. maNS am
full particulars 10 ". =. kmishegi.
z. 7. NJ, C&N-W Ky Go. Chicago
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1906-05-31

But they T. not $50 lonesome
now as they used to be. Scores
of them arc today holding public
offices, from state treasurer Penn
sylvania) down to mayors and
school officers, including lcgisla-
tors three in Illinois, and council
men. And Il Prohibition Cover
nor of Pennsylvania-th the "Kcy-
stone state-is the next POSSIBLE
ity in the near future.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1906-05-31
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 9TH

~ O1ANL L
Morning
Singing, led by Frank Dupree.
Sermon. by Rev. Edwin Phelps
Bible Reading. \. Il. I'ibbets
Election.
Afternoon
Sermon. =. Rev. Jno. Wahoyapi
Report of Standing Committee
Social. led by f. Dupree
Evening
Singing...... Rev Phelps
Sermon Abraham Koki
JUNE Z
Singing. Frank Duprec
Sermon...... Stephen Flexible
Bible Reading.... Rev. Phelps
Afternoon
Sermon........ Chas Bluehorsc
Election of new Standing Com.
Evening
Singing John Bluccloud
Temperance Talk, Jno Wapobleca
JUNE :
Singing ....... J Bluecloud
Sermon. Thos Matowicak;ye
Bible Reading.... A L Tibbets
Question Box
Afternoon
Sermon. -. Eugene Standingbuil
Meeting of WOmen's Societies
Social
Evening
Sermon.......... Eug Rcdfox
Meeting of Returned Students
from Santee (Neb.) Normal Train
ing School.
JUNE 3
Singing. + Dupree
Sermon $685.. Rev Geo Reaowl
Discussion. "How to spend the
4th of July" led by........
Amos Tokcya wakuwa
Dis. "How should II Young
man take care of himself and
his house,. Ansel Thunderhawk
Dis. SLOW to obey the regula-
tions of the Government on the.
Reservation .Chas Wiyaka hanska
JUNE 10
Sundays Lesson. Rev Phelps
Afternoon
Singing
Snrtoou Ahrohou, koIi
Evening
Sermon. m. a Thunderhawk
Collection.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1906-05-31
GLASSES AID TO HEARING.
Those Used at the Opera Said by
Optician to Serve in That
Capacity.

Hurry them along. please said the
woman customer a. she left y pair OK
opera glasses for repairs at . Chestnut
street store. ~ cant hear we'll at the
theatev without them
Another customer Who was waiting
smiled. when the woman left. at her
apparent mistake. says the PhiiaGcl-
phia Record. She meant she couldn't
see be observed.
NC" rejoined the optician. she
meant just what she said. Opera
glasses ere an aid 10 hearin- as wen
as tt sight. You can prove it an
time YOU are seated we'll towerd the
rear in a tieaier by training The
glasses on Il singer. AS loag as .oll
keep the singer under scrutiny vita
the glasses you will be able 10 foliow
the words OF the song with case. Dr.
the glasses and you Will notice q az.
ference. l. will require NOR, or less
of q strain to catch the enunciatiou
distinctly.
'By tho use of opera Glssscs 2 the
alter patron is enabled TIC rote cistiaat-
ly every movement of a singers .i0s.
and the unconscious lip reading great
ly aids the sense of hearing. If yol,
ever attend a public meeting where i.
is impossible to get close 10 the speak
ers provide yourself with opera
glasses and you will be surprised how
greatly they will aid you in hearing"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1906-05-31

To the ~cbooi officers who have
been |dcIipeuens in thr matter o.
planting tree, around the school
houses in tileir districts:
The season for planting IS past,
but YOU can still comply With .
part of the law by fencing and
working the ground and 50 have
it ready for neEt years planting.
EDNA NJ. HwN~TNa,
so. -Npt.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1906-05-31
Two Kinds Of prv Bricks.

The common brick. if very dry, will
absorb a quart of water. The perfect
brick of the human variety. however,
although he is always dry. doesn't alb
sorb a quart of water in a years drink
ing. Herein is seen the superiority Of
mind over matter.-Boston Transcript.