The Topeka state journal., 1906-06-30

n Nan With a Cock Eye
DZmS Him Mexf
fcopyright. 1906. BY Homer sprague.)

make you governor and knock all
trusts sky-high. Hang out your ban
ners und hurrah for our side!s'
Der next person to come in vhas
der coal man. He brings two old
shoes Of his wife's und holds 'em out
TO me und says:
Hans. you see how it vhas NIT der
coal business Everybody says we
vhas trust und grinding down der
poor, but does dot look ike It? MY
wife can't so to church because she
has no Shoes, und I have to walk be-
cause I can't afford to ride. I tell you
1t yhas all a mistake. Der peoples
have got a wrong idea It vhas der
down.
But you shump COP der price of
coal when nottings vhas doing" I says.
But it Wasn't to make money. It
vhas to teach people to place more
value on der coal und keep It covered
SO little money in der coal business dot
I sell out und go to chopping wood. If
you vhas governor don't make a fool
Of yourself. Come to me before you
do anything und let me show you by
my books dot I live on turnips on all
last winter shust to accommodate der
peoples"
Pooty quick when he vhas gone
man NIT a red face comes in und
slams a pair of shoes down on der
counter und shouts at me:
Hans, don't you make some fools
of yourseIfi'
"HoW?"
by stirring oop der peoples. No
body vhas complaining now. All vhas
willing to be robbed by trusts. rebat-
ers und grafters. Here vhas some shoes
to mend. und my boy shall bring some
more I vhant you to let me alone .
"Und What business vhas you in ?'' I
asks
Der ice business. You know we
have very open winter und no Ice
around here. Dot makes prices high
dis sumner
But dot vhas only some excuse. Ice
vhas plenty all over New England. .
But you keep still und your ice
vhas half price. Dot vhas rebates. Der
only man who kicks about rebates vhas
der man who don't get any"
When der ice man goes AWAY der
niIkman comes in He has a wife
und six childer, und he was never in
my place before. He now has four
pairs of shoes to be mendeds und he
smiles und says:
so you like to run for governor.
ven dot vhas all right. Der peo-
pies believe you to be an honest man
und you can depend on my vote. I
see by your platform dot you vnas
down on trusts!
81 shall make It hot for en-"
Dots right, Hans--Inake it hot for
EN-. but at der same time don't make
some mistakes"
How ?''
peoples vhas mistooken when dey
speak about a milk trust. 1t vhas sim
ply an organization to buy Bibles for
the heather in Africa. When der price
of milk goes oop we buy more Bibles;
when der price of butter goes oop dot
vhas to furnish hymn books. Every
time you buy pound of butter or a
quart of milk you are helping the
heather. Please understand dot und
don't fool nit der milk und butter
business"
Der milkman goes out und der fat
policeman comes in. He looks at me
in a mournful vhay und says:
"Hans, don't believe you vhas any
sooch man."
How % 7 asks.
you like to take der bread out
of my mouth
''In What vhay?''
You yhas going to be elected gov
ernor und stop grating. How can der
police force get along if you do dot?
Do you like to see US all go by der
poorhouse?'
at don't like it." I says.
But it vhas a custom. Everybody
vhas used to it. Nobody complains.
If man finds me asleep in a saloon
he gratis me. If find somebody
drunk I graft him. It vhas one hand
wash der other, und nobody vhas hurt.
Oop to dis time I make you fix my