Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1906-07-21
Strike Out sawyer's Invention.
ISunday MagaZine.

! Sim Mceker. manager of the Swat
burgs, to Chopcmout CLANCY and Sure
Eye Simmons and me, who were rep
rescnting Sluggitt Corners at a meet
ing of the Big Stick League.
| They're Il nine OF robbers. hlchcrs
and swipcrs. They can steal amy base
! on any catcher in the league at any
| time. They can stretch a sure put-out
into u single. single into double, 4
double into Il triple. and a triple into
II homer. Gettin' in from third with
the ball in the pitchers hands is their
wingin don't git along faster than
uniforms
Sure Eye Simmons was scared
Yes. . says Sim, we're goin' TO play
tag with that elephant ketcher o yours,
and them rhinoceros fielders. and that
big third baseman and the long
armed guy on first that's always
afraid o steppin' on his hands. They'll
need two men to count the runs when
we come to Stuggitt Corners"
The race is not always to the swift
says Choemout Clancy. Our ketcher
may be ponderous. likewise our fielders,
but what nature has failed to give us
our wits may supply"
And Chopemout wouldn't talk an
other word, just sayin every time Sim
said anything more about his fast base
runners. ''rhe race is not always to
the swift"
And that's how It came that we found
him on our ball grounds the day be-
rprp Ga nf ba oc
with the Swattburgs. with couple o.
men with picks and shovels. and the
whole base path between first and Sec
ond torn up about four feet wide.
He just waved of the storm OF
questions we fired at him and says:
'The race is not always to the swift"
Then he got confidential.
Il know these Swattburgers." says
he. ~ year or two ago tried to stop
EN- stealth by sprinklin' powdered
rosin on the ground round second. The
first man that started to slide slid fine
till he struck the stuff, and then he
stopped--or. rather, his uniform stop
ped He kept right on thru the neck
of his shirt and the women in the grand
stand squealed. The next man came
feet first. and when they cut his clothes
away FIN the ground one of his stock
ms was hangin' round his neck.
1T was a great Idea, but a easy
grounder stuck in the rosin. and then
stuck in the basemans glove so he
couldn't throw, an finally the ball stuck
to the bat. and and they tumbled
That's why l have started work here
on the Clancy Consolidated Base Steal
err and Catcher's Companion. SO as to
be ready for the Swattburgers When
they line up"
1.-The what?" says we all.
THE Clancy Consolidated Base
Stealer and Catcher's Companion"
says Chopemort, speaking slow and
distinct.
But we don't want 'em to Steal any
more bases" says Sure-Eye. They're
too good at that already, and IL we help
'em any it'll be a goose-egg for Ours"
This amt for them" says Chope-
mout I'VE have a monopoly on the
base stealin' abilities O. this here ma
chine, and they get the lemon.
In other words, it's just like this.
I've got here with me a piece o. fine
movln' sidewalk. 1t runs by Electricity,
and is controlled by two levers at our
bench. One Of our men gets to first,
say. and we want him to get to second
He leads off. l pull lever number /,
and he's down to second like a shot,
making bluff slide at the end to de-
ceive the Swattburgs,
Then when they, with all their
swift-footedness and fine slidin' ability
come up, what do 1 do? Why, l pull
'lever number two as they start to
steal, and the machine starts movin'
back lords first. Their runner Is dig
gin up the sand, head down an feet a
llyin' but he amt goin no hundred
yards in ten seconds, is he? Not much!
He's got to overcome the runnin' back
of the Clancy Consolidated ct cetery.
The grounds fyin' underneath his feet
but I'm waitin' for him with the ball
when he starts his slide for the bag"
After explaining that his machine
would be SO fixed that you couldn't tell
1t from the rest of the diamond, and
that 1t was noiseless and absolutely
impossible to discover, Sure-(Eye final
ly' decided to let Chopemout give 1t
trial.
I was pitchin' that first game with
them, and deliberately gave their first
man up base on balls. Well, it all
came off as Chopemout had said. The
runner took long lead, and as I
pitched he started. I never saw man
try to run as fast as he did but
Dwarf Duffy lined the bali down, and
Simmons, who was playin' short in
Clancy's place, tagged him standing
up.
why. you animated ice wagonn
yells Sim Meeker, runnin' out on the
diamond. "W'ot dye think you are
steam roller? Do you call that rum
in? You let this big glass armed stiff
ketch you! The bench for yours, an
turn back five dollars of your salary"
The next man did the same thing,
the audience begun to make remarks
about these Swattburgs not bein' so
fast, after all.
Then we go to bat. the faithful
Chopemout still at the lever. Molasses
Mack was our first hitter He weighed
a ton in condition, and two tons when
he was fat. We called him Molasses
because the flies stuck to him-fy
balls, / mean.
WE'LL Molasses get hits in the ribs
pitcher looks at the mountain Of fat
plate.
Zip" Molasses goes flynn to second.
He took steps twenty feet long. He
was goin' SO fast that when he came to
IN nRDA And N