davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
Senatorial AIternates.

The election of alternate candidates for United States Senators can not truthfully be said to be limitation upon the services of the two grand old men who now represent this state in the Senate. It is in very truth con cession in their favor. Practically speaking, they are to be reelected without opposition. That is what it means in plain English.
 Nor does it mean that the services of our veteran Senators are to be con. fined to an additional term. The Whit. son plan is confined to vacancies and not to the succession. It really Is an incident of Legislative terms four years apart. Four years is a good while. and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
PETTUs o5LIGlNG.
Got Senate to Adjourn So Doorkeeper
 Could Attend Poker Party.

Special to the New York Times.
 Washington, January s.--The session has now reached the poker-story stage, and this one filtered out from the 'ocratic cloak room today:
 Captain Barnes, once famous door keeper on the democratic side of the Senate, one evening was consulting his watch with worried air. It was nearly o'clock and the Senate showed no signs of adjourning. Presently he called boy and said: Ask Senator Pettus if he will come out here moment"
 Out came the venerable senator, as rev. erend in appearance as ever. He looked mildly surprised and asked Barnes what he wanted.
 Senator, cant you get the Senate to adjourn?" asked the door keeper.
 ..Why do you want it to adjourn, Barnes?" asked the octogenarian sena- tor.
 1T have poker party on, Senator ex- plained Barnes.
 oh" said Judge Pettus, ''Ah. yes. I see. Well. I'll see what I can do."
 Back he went to the Senate and a moment later rose in his place. the per- sonification of dignity.
 May I interrupt the senator?" he ask ed of the orator who had the floor. ''The hour is late, and unless the senator desires to conclude his speech this evening 1t seems to me that it might well be con- tinued tomorrow"
 T yield to the senator for motion to adjourn" replied the orator. A moment later Barnes was on his way reioicinx.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
Representative Body.

'The two thousand men who attended the cotton convention at New Orleans made up as representative a body as 1t was ever my pleasure to scan," said President w. P. c. Harding of the First National bank. T have been in Wash ington frequently when Congress was in session and 1t Is not an exaggeration to say that the men gathered in New Or leans compared favorably with our na- tional legislators, as a body.
 'The delegates to the convention were gentlemen of high intelligence and all of them had prosperous air. They came intent on business and decided practical good should result from their discussions and deliberations. The convention marks, I believe. the beginning of new era in the great cotton industry of the south."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
A PRIMA poNNAs EXPRESSIONS

From the February Smart Set. America is delightful!
 Yes football is too rough.
 New York Is wonderful. magnificent! American women are the most beautiful and charming on earth.
 Nothing is better for the complexion than Smearine.
 The tones of the Pianoleon are exquisite. l always take Doperine for headaches Eau de Swash is the finest hair tonic. The Gasmobile Is the best made. Dentede is excellent for the teeth. can't breakfast without Boneless Oats. N. c. Corsets are the only proper ones. Never travel without Sneezerine' for coughs and coids.
 fervently recommend Scrubolio. By all means try Nervosis. Yes, this is positively my last season on the stage.
 I expect to get the decree next week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14


 committee thought the people wanted state primary and the committee gave them all sorts of a primary. The candl- dates will accept whatever the commit tee has seen fit to give them, however much some of them might have wished differently.
 The Selma Journal: The state executive committee is receiving large doses or botn praise and eommendation from the press of the state on it's primary plan. The gem eral idea seems to be that the result or the action of the committee will De 10 overshadow the governors race and make the senatorial race the main question or the campaign. Thomas Nelson Page, in one of his southern stories makes an old gentleman declare with pride, My father resigned from the United States Senate in order to become governor of his native state" Evidently such sentiment as that did not bother the originators of the dead mems shoes policy. Be that as 1t may, however, the committee represents the party. and while we may quarrel with 1t little, we are bound to stand by 1t and go ahead and select good democrats
 
 for office under the rules given by them. It Is impossible for any law-making body to suit everybody all the time. The ene- niles of democracy need gather no encour- agement from the little family scrapping now going on. The men who are making the most complaint will always be found upon the firing line of the democratic party, even if they do 'cuss the officers sometimes.
 The Andalusia Times: The Times has long contended that the peo"'" should have a direct voice in the election Of United States senators. The indirect method of electing by the legislature should be done away with, and the sov- ereisn people given an opportunity to ex,ress themselves directly at the ballot box. Hence, we favor the plan as pro- posed by the executive committee.
 The Huntsville Mercury: The plan adopted by the state committee gives the voters an opportunity to express their choice both for United States senators and their successors. The sentiment of vot- ing direct for the senators has been growing for a number of years.
 The Abbeville Times: We believe that the committee has acted wisely in calling the primary in August as this will give the people their leisure time to devote to political affairs. Everything done by the committee was conservat'- and will be heartily endorsed uy the r-ople.
 The Sheffield Standard: The action of the state democratic executive commit tee, on the whole. will, we believe, meet the approval of the people. The commit tee did well In opening the primary to all white voters who did not oppose the democratic ticket in the last election. It diu better in giving the people an op- portunity to vote directly for men to represent them in the United States Sem ate
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 Some girls would never fiirt with any man they did not meet.
 A loud noise Is a sign that the man making it thinks he is good arsuer.
 The woman that raises children to re- spect her does 1t without any theories
 It's awful clever the way girl can look as if she didn't understand what YOU had done when it was to kiss her.
 If is funny how a girl of sixteen always wants to look like one of twenty-sx and one of twenty-six like one of sixteen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
FllNEM RESPlCE.
I Y.
BY A. LATADY.

BY A. LATADY. Many do question where the beauty dwels Which in my verses, to thee ascribe; Doubling if elsewhere than in fancy's spells, Such charms, in truth with anyone abide. These with profert of thy most perfect sef Convince I could and would could they but verify To future days the charms of the sweet elf To which thy humble bard doth testify. But in those days myself, thy singer gone To whose remembrance I'd have thee aspire There being no second thee to look upon Thy singer passes for monstrous liar.
 Thou cast thyseH myself my verses vindicate By leaving to those days thy duplicate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
About Persons.

pr. J. C. Walker of Selma, is at the Birmingham.
 J. w. Heustis of Mobile is registered at the Morris.
 S. J. Petre of Russellville is at the St. Nicholas hotel
 L. F. Camp and D. J. Scott of Wilkes barre, Pa. are at the Colonial
 MT. and Mrs. M. F. Leavitt of Chicago are registered at the Hillman.
 W. J. James of Russellville is at the Morris.
 Edward A. Friese of Montgomery, is registered at the St. Nicholas.
 J. A. Nelson of Decatur. is at the Metro politan.
 Emery c. Hall of oneonta. prominent
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

President Morales concluded to seek safety on one leg, rather than wait to rule on two. One of Uncle Sans boats carried him away Jiminez goes with him, great men.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

MT. Hadley of Missouri will not have exhausted his stock of witnesses unless he calls Miss Ida Tarbell to the stand, to say nothing of Mir Tom Lawson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Governor Pattison put himself in a glass case in order to witness the inaugural parade. Other politicians should be put in glass and dramatically sealed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Alabama than there Is in the speculative future contests for the United States Senate.
 Both candidates for governor represent the same issues and the same things. At least they both say so. But it is different in the senatorial contest. Neither one of our present senators agrees with the two candidates for governor in their views on many questions, and especially in the rantankerous anti-railroad and anti-cor- poraton utteranees of the existing candi- dates for governor.
 It is true that both candidates for gov ernor have their merits. but they havs confined themselves so closely to the issue and yied so with each other as to which should outdo the other on that issue, that the people, or at least large number of them, would like to have some big. broad man come into the race and win the election.
 There really has been too much betty politics in Alabama. But the action of th. recent state committee, delegates full power to the people this time, and would not be surprised to witness many dsappointments among the small fry as q result of the August primary.
 Ae1 1zuss<
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

gT is amusing to observe the alertness
 and the activity of some Alabama
 politicians since the action of the state democratic committee. This action apparently has upset the plans of a num- Der of political aspirants in Alabama who would prefer to trade with prospective successful candidates than to submit their claims to the people in a primary. Some of these candidates and their friends are making a bitter bowl but the state com mittee has acted and 1t will be very difficult thing to persuade 1t to reconvene, reverse and repudiate itself
 The milk in the coeoanut, so to speak, seems to be the senatorship. It appears that there are men In Alabama who want to go to the United States Senate some day. Some of them apparently think they can combine with prospective successful gubernatorial candidates and get the ap- pointment to the Senate in the event ot vacancy.
 Others apparently felt that they would rather submit their claims to the people of the state at large and have whoever might be elected governor instructed AS to whom he should appoint to the United states Senate in the event of vacancy at any time during his term. These lat Blount county attorney, Is at the Met ropolitan.
 II. w. Brnnie of Chicago, is at the Colonial.
 J. s. Mason, Jr., of Dora, is registered
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

President Roosevelt and Speaker Cam non are engaged in driving the 4hilippine sugar bill and the statehood bill through the House The Senate Is, however. a different proposition.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

"The advice of counser' is prevalent throughout 26 Broadway All in the build ing have caught the complaint, and no one can cure them except the New York supreme court.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The United States eats one-quarter of the sugar produced in the world. In every way the United States Is fast Decom- ing It.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Algeciras will step right into the lime light this week, and Germany and France will decide whether peace or war is to oon1a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The churches are beginning to believe that it pays to advertise.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The Oregon that was our popular war ship in the war with Spain is now reviled and seoffed at. So runs the world away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The tariff on Philippine sugar is not standing pat at any rate. The rest Of the robber scheme is becoming weak.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

James Hagen Hyde has been dropped from the Equitable Trust company, but he Is in Paris now and at peace with the world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Andy Hamilton has been restored to rugged health. and he may yet challenge Philadelphia Jack oBrien, provided the Armstrong Investigating committee has no successor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

A Connecticut bride was gagged and robbed. Strange to say 1t was not party of wedding guests who committed the out
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

It is a great pity that something can't be done to abate the comic valentine which will soon be upon us.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The Ice yachts of New York are hav- ing discouraglng season.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The gentleman from Missouri will return to New York, and then Rogers will be put on the gridron again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Young Theodore Roosevelt is a success ful entertainer. His father keeps the en- tire country entertained.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Senator Heyburn says that Wall street Is just a gambling club. If that IS so it ought to be raided.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The strike of the opera oho~''- in New York is on its last legs Strikes do not prosper in times of prosperity
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

pr. osler now has plan to cure head aches with the knife. Most people will insist on not being treated by Dr. os- Ter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

A general in Santo Domingo Is any one who can fasten his suspender to but ton
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Boss AIdrich has retired from the froth and foam of the session, but not from the powerful undertow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The patrolmen of Evansville, Ind. have been ordered to stop all snowbaliing. A snowfall would fare badly down here iust noU
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

You can't always tell how much money a man has by the kind of English he uses.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The Kaiser's visiting cards are six inches long and as formidable as the Kaiser himself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Durnoro is inducing Witte to thrash the Russian people into an acceptance of liberty.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
 MATTERS OF THE WORLD
haJ67e,xs~

for pent-up feelings. but 1t frequently happens that no cat is in kickable dis tance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The great chorus of protests which met Dr. Parkhurst's assertion that gentleman does not swear shows how many individuals depend on profanity. Some men find kicking the cat relief
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
sEAsICK

The boy stood on the heaving deck, His face was pale and thin, For everything was going out
 And nothing coming in.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The Mineral Belt Gazette will hence- forth be issued every two weeks. Instead of every week. The first issue of the bi- monthly number is most creditable. It Is attractive in arrang"n nent, well edited and filled with interesting reading mat ter. F. l. Monks is now editor of the Gazette and Jack Annesley is president of the Mineral Belt Publishing com pany. These gentlemen will give the mn- eral district of Alabama an excellent paper.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

If Poultney Bigelow keeps up his hot shots Secretary TAFT will not have tc ride horseback to reduce hls WEIGHT.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Secretary Taft is now setting on Poult- ney Blgelow, and Poultney has nothing soft under him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

We are oft to blame in thls;- Iris too much prov'd,-that with deVo tion's visage, And pious action, we do sugar OCT The devil himself
 Hamlet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The sehwab gold mine Is located in Ne vada instead of New York life insur- ance office.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The millionaires of New York consider all taxpaying as mere vulgar device of the rabble.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

WaSnlngton newspapers snow unusual bitterness. The Washington correspond ents, as well as the men working for lo- cal newspapers, are not to be 'shooed' out of the White House as If they were small boys. If President Roosevelt Is wise he will take immediate steps to placate the press. Even If he does not to expect to be President any more, he will find the friendship of newspaper men valuable in after years
 WHERE A MAN IS SAFE. Mid pleasures and palaces,
 Wherever we roam,
 There's no place for growing
 Like home, sweet home. The mayor of Kansas City is alleged to have said that God himself could not enforce prohibition in Kansas, which leads to the supposition that the lid can not be put down in Kansas. There is nothing a man wants more when he wants 1t than a match" said Colonel Biff. It is generally conceded that Mir. Ha- gen C'Philadelphia Jack O'Brien) Is as much gentleman as the ex-presidents of some insurance companies. THE DEVIL LAUGHED.
 The devil laughed Right merrilee When a millionaire He chaneed to see And said out loud, He b'longs to me-
 
 A Kentucky man chloroformed another man and stole his false teeth. He cer- tainly has "mean disposition
 Some people strut around and talk about themselves as if they never expected to die some day as other people do. Alexander City has a mystery in the person of woman in black" who goes heavily yelled and prowls around late at night Few towns can boast of genuine mystery these days; nearly everything is exposed. LOOKS THAT WAY. The flowers that bloom in the spring, tra, la, Will soon be blooming, wis. If old Pa Winter keeps loafing around And Sol keeps shining like this. Nicholas Longworth says that the Fili- pino Is of little worth. The positive man. ner in which he says it disproves the assertion that he, didn't see anybody over there but Miss Roosevelt
 IN THESE TIMES.
 Lots of people in these times
 Have new schemes to try;
 Nearly every man you see
 Thinks that he can fly.
 Datto William Jennings Bryan will re- main in Sulu until January Is. Read his sollloquy entitled Ut Is Better to Be Chief than President
 THOSE CHAPTERS. In knocking around the world you will
 find
 A number of chaps who are color blind And likewise a number whose sense of
 touch
 Is phenominal-or We deem it such. If Poultney Bigelow keeps up his hot shots Secretary TAFT will not have to ride horseback to reduce hIs WEIGHT. Having recovered from his recent de- mise, "Scotty" is en route for the east, where he will appear on the stage. Poor old boardsl
 SEASICK.
 The boy stood on the heaving deck,
 His face was pale and thin,
 For everything was going out
 And nothing coming in.
 The great chorus of protests which met Dr. Parkhurst's assertion that a eentlenlan does not swear shows how
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Every congressman Is continually put ting in his bill
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Washington Bureau Age-Heraid 14n G street N W.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
WITH OTHER EDITORS.

The Marion County News has begun It's twentieth volume. The News is an ex- celent paper and one of the best edited weelSlies in the state c. J. Wilson, edi- tor and publisher, and J. T. Johnson, as sociate editor. are to be congratulated on the good work they are doing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

WHERE SCIENCE FAILED.
 Altho he made host of things ' Invented all his life
 He never could invent way
 To fool his knowing wife.
 Uncle Sam consumed $150, 100000 worth of sugar last year. He must take four Jumps in his coffee.
 It is not every town that has the op- portunity of seeing a circus sold at auc- ton, but Birmingham will have such an opportunity next Tuesday.
 Virginia Earl confesses that she drinks champagne out of beer glasses. A wo- man with a gilt-edged thirst like that would have a hard time in making both ends meet if she were not drawing slo.- 900 a week on the stage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, post office as second-class matter under act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Having recovered from his recent de- mise, "scotty" Is en route for the east,
 where he will appear on the stage. Poor old boards
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Daily and Sunday Age-Herald..."".$s.oO .oO Daily and Sunday, per month.......... .io Sunday Age-Herald per annum..... zOO Weekly Age Herald. per annum. .,.... l.VO
 Subscription payable in advance
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
MAKE AN ExcEPr1oN.

Tell me not in mournful numbers That the world is full of chumps. For you see we are still in it
 And such talk gives us the dumps.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
THOSE CHAPTERS

In knocking around the world you vii
 find A number of chaps who are color blind And likewise a number whose sense o
 touch" Is phenominal-or We deem it such.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

LET HER IN.. There comes a gentle tapping We've heard 1t oft before. It's little Oklahoma A-knocking at the door.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Iz Durham is out, and Penrose i' marked to go.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

While Dr. Harper will undoubtedly be missed. the University of Chicago can spare him easier than it can John D. Rockefeller. PAUL COOK,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
COMMITTEES PLAN

The Montgomery Journal: The state committee thought the people wanted state primary and the committee gave them all sorts of a primary. The candi- dates will accept whatever the commit tee has seen fit to give them, however much some of them might have wished differently.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

The door trust has put the price up 1U per cent. Persons who bought their doors earlier in the season were fortu- nate. It is hard luck to have to buy new door when spring is so near at hand.
 Did you ever stop to consider that when you say, Peace to his ashes," in referring to dead man who was not cremated, you create the suspicion that he was burned somewhere else?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Datto William Jennings Bryan will re- main in Sulu until January 16 Read his sollloquy entitled Tt Is Better to Be Chief than President"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

POOR CALLIOPE
 Now doth the muse bewafl her lot
 And VOW she hath hard lines. The chaps who deal In doggre verse
 Are writing valentines.
 Lots of times a man who thinks of himself like THIS is viewed by others like this.
 Parties are being organized to attend Mardi Gras at New Orleans. One of the most attractive features of such fes- tival Is that people can do things then that they would be afraid to do at any other time.
 In Alabama the fever of politics is mounting rapidly and old Dr. Public Opinion is .besieged for diagnosis of the complaint which racks the body poll tic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Alexander City has mystery in the person of woman in black" who goes heavily yelled and prowls around late at night. Few towns can boast of genuine
 mystery these days; nearly everything is exposed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

Some people strut around and talk about themselves as if they never expected to die some day as other people do.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14
1.ooKs THAT wAy

LOOKS THAT WAY. The flowers that bloom in the spring, tra, la,
 Will soon be blooming, I wis, If old Pa Winter keeps ioafing around And Sol keeps shining like this.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-14

It is generally conceded that MT. Ha- gen C"Philadelphia Jack O'Brien) is as much a gentleman as the ex-presidents of some insurance companies.