davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
His Exclamation.

Young man, said the stern parent,
did hear you kissing my daughter in
the parlor last night?"
You did. sir"
why did you 90 it?"
ITO be plain, sir. she was the only
Essable thing about and felt in the
mood. "-Milwaukee Sentinel.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

My aim in life was to be a good
cook"
But being a woman" replied her
brute OF a husband. you could not
be expected to hit where you aimed"
Houston Post
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
Starting EARLY.

II presume your baby is going to be
a campaign orator."
What makes you think SOP
well. I heard him practicing all
night"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
The Difference.

I'm China the human palm is used
as passport"
Here. people try to get through on
their face. Detroit Free Presa-
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
WILLING TO Obey Pana

Il do not wish you to see him
any more"
I'm glad Of that. papa. for I could
not possibly do 1t; he comes seven
nights a week w."-Houston Post
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

'izOw does your husband votcg"
81 don't really know. but l presume
the Democratic tickct"
'What makes you think SOY"
'Well. he knows ann a Republican"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
stand OF.

Il thought she was going to make
him give up cigarettes"
"She thought so. too. but on looking
at her ticket she discovered she was
entitled 10 another think"
That man will drive her to chew
ing gum"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
Still Self Supporting.

"Shc would be very fine actress n
she just had good support"
"Ncl it isn't wholly her fault that
IN" IN MT she has tired three diner
eut o. '~ls..!s
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
Thanks 20 the Meat Tru,i.

Are you vegetarian FOR sentimental
reasons or because you consider II
healthier"
well. 70 tell the truth. neither. 1t
Is on account OF the price"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
No Indication.

They turned forty people away last
night"
Then the house must have been
crowded"
Not specially. These were fellows
who wanted 10 get In on their nerve"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
Perfectly independent.

He's your cousin from the coun-
try inclined TO obey the mandates OF
fashion?
She-I should say not. Why, she
actually dresses according to the
weather-Chicago Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

Mayme-George declared ne would
gladly so through FIRE and water for
me
Edyth--That means he viii look
after the furnace and keep your wash
tubs filled after Chicago
Daily News
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
Small Cbanoe

what win you give me for this
wedding ringf"
"Eias the girl changed her mind
about marryingf"
NO; she has just changed her mind
as TO the personnel OF her husband"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
impossible.

They say that politicians steal
And wealth is always tainted
This world could never be. we feel,
AS bad as IL is painted.
Washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

Guyer-I played in great luck at the
races.
Mycr-Iudced,
Guyer-Yes. Met a friend at the
track who loaned me carfare. and I
didn't have 90 walk home.-Chicago
Daily News
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

BaIiooning may be thrilling sport
but cautious persons Ike to take their
thrills with moderation.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

People who are short on sense are
apt to think themselves long on sci
ence.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Expert work is known chiefly by its
high price.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

The sermon is sure 20 be empty OF
blessing when the head is full of bust
ness.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

The trouble with woman's sense OF
humor is II doesn't make the men con-
cerned feel happy.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
Finds Too Many Easy Marks.

Straight-Why are YOU always bor-
rowing money? Why don't you get
out and hump for yourself2
Late-If more fellows would talk to
ME like that l would.-Detroit Free
Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

If you don't own
any property. you
don't have to cul-
tivate any fond
ness for any old
assessor.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
The Courts of Calanthe

the 1t a
1t members edpedt oexEI
INC NNou for heother
of
cost of the
ccaso
or ldrensD ALSO
eItleo
dues aud death benefits
rnizeo
idrensD patne nadlres
AYLOR, w NJ
w: Hill St, Richmond, Va
nng sPeSa rates OF JOIN MTCIzLL,TR-
Va
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

The recording angel isn't wasting
any ink over the good you intend to
do.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

Nothing looks less aggressive than a
leaf. and yet we know that the leaves
will turn.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
Kni9bts Of Rptbias,
Ma A, E. A, A.
N. A, S. A, E. A., A. AND A.

n. . .
NM This organization sone of the country and its
E7 dicuon all in
benefits
&SSESC3f
Founded Friendship
o hearies suppor
oofs2
due. The badge
a maine office
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

The flavor OF
truth is often
spoiled by the
hshy look of the
man who tells II.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

Many defeated candidate owes his
condition to the cross that his OPP
ponent got.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

Good wishes often grow up before
they come home again.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

Even the light OF love isn't sufficient
TO illumine the dark recesses OF some
hearts.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
Ruth.

She stood breast-high amid the corn.
Ciasped by the golden light OF morn.
Like the sweetheart Of the sun.
Who many a glowing kiss had won.
On her cheek an autumn flush
Deeply ripened. such a blush
In sbe midst OF brown was born.
Like red peoples grown with corn.
Round her eyes her tresses fell:
Which were blacklist none could tell;
But long lashes yelled a light
That had else been all too bright
And her hat. with shady brim
Made her tressy forehead dim.
Thus she stood amid tho stocks
Praising God with sweetest looks
Sure" 7 sasd. Heaven did not mean
Where 7 reap. thou shouldst bu' CLEAN:
Lay thy sheaf adown and come
Share my harvest and my home"
Thomas Hood.
"The World Is Too Much With Us"
The world is too much with US; late and
soon.
Getting and spending. we lay waste our
Little we sec in Nature that is ours:
We have given our hearts away. sordid
booni
The Sea that bares her bosom to tho
moon.
The winds that VIII be bowling at all
hours.
And are up-gather'd now like sleeping
flowers.
For this. for everything. We are out OF
tune.
e moves MS not.-Great Cod, ia rather be
q Pagan sucked I'm "a creed outworn:
So might !. standing ON this pleasant lea.
Have giimpscs that would make me less
forlorn.
Have sight OF Proteus rising from the
sea.
or hear old Triton blow his wreathed
horn.
William Wordsworth
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15
GEORGE 0. BROWN,
PHOTOGRAPHER,
SOs n. End ST.,
Richmond, Va.

Fine Photographs. True TO Life High-class
service. Latest improvements in Photograph
10 Outdoor work executed. Reasonable r.
timsses and Prompt Service. Pictures EnlArg-
I'd from Old negatives or Photographs. 3ms.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

a strong breath reveals a weak
backbone.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

Secrets behind the hand often are
but stabs in the back
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

No man ever found his father by
shutting out his fellows.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

The sharp dealing that hurts is that
which cuts into the soul
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

Hypocrisy Is a bad imitation Of a
good thing that takes itself seriously.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

The strength OF the weak lies in val
liant display OF their weakness.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

Don't make frn OF the other fellows
joke. He isn't to blame for your
density.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-12-15

Nothing equals the serene self con-
tent that is an indolent persons her
itage.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-05-31

continue to suffer rather than submit
to examinations which so many physi-
clans propose in order to inteligently
treat the disease; and this is the rea-
son why so many physicians fail to
cure female disease.
This is also the reason why thousands
upon thousands of women are corre-
spending with Mrs Pinlham, daughter
in-law OF Lydia r. Pinl1ham, at Lynn,
Mass. To her they can confide every
detail of their illness, and from her
great knowledge. obtained from years
of experience in treating female ills,
Mrs. Pinlxham can advise sick women
more wisely than the local physician.
Read how Mrs. Pinlxham helped Mrs.T
C. Willadsen of Manning, la. She writes:
Dear Mrs Pinkham:
g can truly say that you have saved my
life, and cannot express my gratitude in
words. Before l wrote to Won telling you
how felt, had doctored for over two years
steady, and spent lots of money in medicines
BESIDES but it all failed to do me any good. l
had female trouble ANDY would dailyhave faint
ing spells, backache, bearing-down pains, and
my monthly periods were very irregular and
finally ceased l wrote to you for your adj
vice and received a letter full of instructions
Just what to do, and also commenced to take
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound,
and have been restored to perfect health.
Had it not been for you | would have been
in my grave to-day"
Mountains of proof establish the fact
that no medicine in the world equals
Lydia e. Pinkhams Vegetable Conn
pound for restoring women's health.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-05-31
State Capital Notes
Weekly Budget Gathered by Special. Cores
pondent a Madison

Madison.-The executive commit
tee of the board of trustees of the
Dane County Agricultural society has
let a contract for new grandstand
at the fair grounds across Lake Mo-
mona. 1t will cost about $4,000, and
the contract was awarded to Carl
Fritz. The grandstand will be a frame
structure supported by cement piers.
1t will have a seating capacity of O.
900, and will be completed in time
for the annual pumpkin show this
fall. The fair grounds has long been
in need of a grandstand, and the
committee in charge has ordered one
that will be strictly up to date. 1t
will include dining room underneath
the seats, to measure 140X24. In front
of the stand there will be a court
large enough for many people to walk
up and down. This will be protected
from the race track by a cement wall
and an iron railing. Work on the
stand will begin at once. The COM
mitteemen feel sure that it will be
ready for this years fair. The Dane
county society is now a member of
the southwestern trotting circuit This
circuit includes, besides Madison, the
following cities: Mineral Point, OAR
lington, Platteville and Monroe.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-05-31

only man who had ever been there,
and the only man living that had
seen live dinosaurs.
Then we turned in, and pa never
slept wink all night. thinking of
the rare animals, or insects, or rep
tiles, or whatever they are, that he
expected to land for the show. He
whispered to me in the night and said:
'Hennery, I am on the trail of the
dinosaurs, and while I am not pre-
pared to capture one alive, at this
time, / am going to that valley and
see the animals alive, and make plans
for their capture, and report to the
management of the show. What do
you think about it?'
l told pa that l thought that cow
boy, Bill, was the worst liar that we
had ever run up against and | knew
by studying geography in school that
the dinasaurus was extinct, and had
been for thousands of years. Pa said:
$50 they say the buffalo is extinct,
but you can find 'em. if you have got
the money. Lots of things are ex-
tinct, till some brave explorer pene-
trates the Businesses and finds them
The mastodon is extinct, according to
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-05-31

! looked off to the south and the cow
boys were coming back with pas re-
mains on a blackboard.
/ went up to the wagon to see if
pa looked natural, and he raised up,
like corpse coming to, and said:
"Hennery, did you notice how | roped
the black steer?" and / said: Eyes,
pa, saw the whole business, and saw
you start south, chasing the steer,
armed only with a saddle, and what
is the news from TeXas?"
Pa said: "Look-a-here, don't want
to hear any funny business. | deliv-
cred the goods all right, and if the
cinch Of the saddle had held out faith
full to the end, / would have tied the
steer in record time. but man proposes
and the rest you have to leave to
luck. | was out of luck, that is all,
but the ride | had across the prairie
has given me some ideas about flying
machines that will be worked into our
show next year"
Pa got up off the blackboard and
shook himself, and he was just as well
and hearty as ever, and the cowboys
got around him, and told him he was
a wonder, and that Buffalo Bill
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-05-31
Bitter Legal Fight in Prospect.

More work for the supreme court
is forecasted in the refusal of the
Chicago, Milwaukee & ST. Paul rail
road to allow State Railroad Com
missioner John Thomas to examine
the books of the corporation for the
year 1905. The legal department of
the railroad company has set up a
sort of immunity plea" claiming
that the passage of the railroad COM
mission act on June 16, 1905, has in
validated the right of the railroad
commissioner to conduct any such eX-
animation after that date Some
time ago Commissioner Thomas wrote
letter to the company, asking to
have the books of the company for
the year 1905 placed at his disposal.
1t is said he wished to conduct
thorough examination to ascertain
whether the railroad has been allow
ing rebates or secret determinations
of any sort in its freight traffic The
legal department of the railroad set
up an objection based on an timmuni-
ty plea" and Commissioner Thomas
has placed the matter in the hands
of the attorney general for an opin
ion. That official, it is believed. will
uphold Commissioners Thomas right
to examine the books, and the likeli-
hood of legal resistance on the part
of the company therefore can be seen.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-05-31

with their fingers, and look at pa as
though they expected he would break
out violently insane any minute.
Finally we got up on high ridge,
and beautiful, fertile valley was un-
folded to our view, and Bill, the cow.
boy who had had his herd of steers
eaten by the dinosaurs, said that
was the place, and he began to SILVER
like he had the ague. He said he
wouldn't go any farther without an
other hundred dollars, and pa asked
the other cowboys if they were afraid,
too, and they said they were a little
scared, but for another hundred dol
lars they would forget it, forget their
families, and go down into the death
valley.
Pa paid them the money, and we
along, expecting to jump a flock OF
dinosauruses any minute, but the val
ley was as still as death, and pa said
to Bill: why don't you bring on
your dinosauruses," and Bill said he
guessed by the time we got up to the
far end of the valley we would see
something that would make us stand
without hitching.
We went on towards where the val
ley came to point where there
seemed to be hole in the side OF
the mountain, when all OF sudden
four or five gun shots were heard, and
four of our horses dropped dead in
their tracks, and about dozen men
come out of the hole in the wall AMI
told us to hold up our hands, and
when we did so they took our guns
away and told us to come in out OF
the wet.
We went into a cave and found that
we had been captured by Curry's gang
OF train robbers, who made their head
quarters in the hole in the wall. The
leader searched pa and took all his
money, and told US to make ourselves
at home. Pa protested, and said he
was an old Snowman who had come
to the valley looking for the supposed
to-be-extinct dinosaurs, to capture
one for the show, and the leader of
the gang said he was the only di-
nosaurus there was, but he hadn't
been captured Then the leader
slapped our cowboys on the shoulders
and told them they had done a good
job to bring into camp such rich
old codger as pa was, and then we
found that the cowboys belonged to
Curry's gang. and had roped pa In
in order to get ransom.
The leader asked pa about how
much he thought his friends at the
east could raise to get him out, and
when pa found he was in the hands
of bandits, and that the dinosaurs
mine was sailed, and he had been
made a fool of, he said to me: Hen
merry, now, honest, between man and
man. wouldn't this skin you?"
I began to cry and said: PA,
both of us are skun. How are we
going to get out of this?" and pa said:
Watch me-"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-05-31
University Hydraulic Laboratory.

The most important addition recent
ly made to the college of engineering
of the University Of Wisconsin is the
new hydraulic laboratory. which is
now practically completed and is TO be
used by students for experimental
purposes. The laboratory is we'll
equipped for investigation of problems
of water power and water supply, the
Importance of which in commercial,
municipal and sanitary engineering
is rapidly increasing. Students INFER
ested in these phases of engineering
may now study and test the principles
of hydraulics involved in water power,
swamp drainage, irrigation, sewage
disposal and similar practical subjects.
The new hydraulic laboratory at the
university has been established in re-
Spouse to the increased demand for
students especially trained in hydrau-
lies.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-05-31
ALMOST A CATASTROPHE.
Exuberance of Love Systematically
Manifested Results in Nor
tification.

She was seated in the cleaning, a
happy smile on her pretty, pensive
face, when her elderly aunt entered.
Then, as she looked upon the kind old
face, a feeling rushed upon her that
she must share her wonderful news
with somebody-she must let someone
into the secret which till then had
been the sole possession of herself and
Harold. She sprang up and flung her
arms about her aunt's neck.
ooh, auntie," she cried impulsively,
"you do love me, don't you? Kiss me,
auntie, and tell me you do-kiss mel"
But only an alarming gurgle came
from the old lady for moment. Then
she said gasping Indignantly:
kiss you. if you amt careful I'll
shake the life out of you. You very
nearly made me swallow my teeth"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-05-31
TORTURED WITH ECZEMA.
Tremendous Itching Over Whole Body
Scratched Until Bled-Wonder-
full Cure by Cuticura.

''Last year l suffered with a tremendous
itching on my back, which grew worse and
worse, until it spread over the whole body.
and only my face and hands were free.
For four months or so l suffered torments,
and had to scratch, scratch, scratch, until
] bled. At night when | went to bed
things got worse, and l had at times
to get up and scratch my body all over,
until | was as sore as could be, and until
l suffered excruciating pains. They told
me that 1 was suffering from eczema.
Then / made up my mind that would use
the Cuticura Remedies. [ used them ac-
cording to instructions, and very soon in
deed ] was greatly relieved | continued
mend the Cuticura Remedies to any one.
Mrs. Mary Metzger, Sweetwater, Okla,
June 49, 1906"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-05-31
SPARROW TAUGHT TO SING.
Bird Raised with Canaries Soon
Learned to Initiate the
Warblers.

A series of interesting experiments
in which English sparrows have been
taught to sing sweetly is recorded by
DR.. Conradi, says the American Jour-
nal of Psychology. The aim of the
experimenter has been to determine
what are the conditions under which
birds learn and cling to their tradf-
tional notes. For this purpose he has
taken very young birds of non-musicai
species and kept them entirely with
songsters, to determine whether they
would thus acquire the musical notes.
In July, 1898, he put four fielding
English sparrows into the nest of a
pair of singing canaries. Three of
them died, but the fourth survived.
This one had already acquired
sparrow chirp; but, hearing thence
forth only the notes of the canary,
he went no further with the language
which was his birthright. Instead, he
came gradually, when among the
canaries, to give notes different from
sparrow talk. Even when he was ST
lent, if the canaries were singing he
could be seen moving his throat, as if
he were trying to form the sounds,
much as person often audibly fol-
lows a song which another is singing.
At last these sounds began to be aud
ible, and increasingly SO. He began
to give notes in rapid succession,
three or four tones up the scale, and
then repeating the top note five or
six times.
Growing holder with practice and
the sound of his own voice, he soon
INDUCED three or four runs in sue
cession, with eight to twelve notes in
each; and in the last days of Sep
TENDER, when three months old. he
went up and down and up the scale,
all in one run.
All this while his voice had been
changing. At first it was harsh, as is
natural with English sparrows; but
gradually, with the effort or with the
subconscious influence of the sweeter
sounds about him. it became softer
and acquired something of the canary
quality.
At first he sang on a low scale and
tried the top notes .vainly; but, as his
voice became milder, he, went higher
more easily. He was three months
old when, growing bold, he essayed his
first trill. 1t was short but musical,
and he evidently liked it, for he re.
peated it, and continued steadily to
practise it. 1t was done modestly, and
after each trill he sat still and ap-
peared to be listening. A year later,
however, when the report was being
written by the experimenter, he had
grown to be quite an adept in canary
song. and would trill and sing con-
tinually, punctuating his song with
complete circles and semicircles ON lis
perch.
To try the effect of association upon
him, DR.. Conrad removed him for a
time, in his first year, from the can
aries, and put him where he heard
only sparrows chatter. Gradually he
ceased to sing and began to return to
the neglected sparrow tongue; but
when he was again hung with the
canaries he regained all he had lost in
less than month.