Omaha daily bee., 1906-03-14
THE NERVE OF THE MAN
Massachusetts Man seeks Wife and
Tells Candidates to Call
for Inspection.


Thomas Fairbanks or Attieboro, Mass, is
having an interesting time Unlike most
nencwho go wife hunting, he has arranged
It so that the candidates TOR his hand and
heart come to him. OF course. he has
worked through the newspapers. those
great agents of publicity. He published his
wants-and also his photographic the
world, and replies are pouring in by every
mail. There seems to be no type of the
natural women to whom this would-be
husband objects. But there must be about
the candidate none of that art which con-
ceals-or fails to conceal art II wish" he
says, you'd make It plain that no bleached
blondes need apply, l want my bride to
be perfectly natural. and those who use
peroxide in an effort TO make a gilded
dome of their headpiece need have no hope
that they'll be given consideration" There
is no objection whatever to the blonde per
sobut only peroxide-as why should there
be? The blondes have good a chance
in this race as the brunettes. Which, of
course, is as it should be.
Naturally. Mr.. Fairbanks has had many
interesting letters. One writer says that
she loved him az soon as she saw his
photo in the paper" and that she is con-
sumed with great fear lest she should lose
him. Though she does not care for farm
life. she says that she could live any place
looking into those dear eyes of yours"
Another aspirant informs Mr.. Fairbanks
that she, too, is lonesome" and adds that
the man Is probably wise in making his
wants known. although it is a little out
of the usual" This woman is a newspaper
woHker ''well educated, refined and sympa-
thetic in nature FIVE feet three inches, and
OF medium complexion" The third appli-
cant, whatever else she may be, is GER
tainly not well educated. 81 nave" she
writes, "seen your ad for wive in Post"
and she ''thot" she wood write" 1T am"
she continues, "a woman OF thirty year
128 pouns, tall, with dirk eyes and fair
hair" This suggests the man Of old time
who was stabbed with a white wench's
black eye" We know also, that there
are "daggers in mems smiles" But the
woman continues:
81 am a wido and has two children, the
small is II year l am no bad habits and
a good housekeeper. thank you win be
the right mar for me that I have ben
looking fur. I have a good home And I
wull like a good husband. ] lived on a
farm when my husband he lived"
But surely bad spelling is no disqualified
was bad form to spell cOrrectly-it ind-
Gated the schoolmaster or peAasogue rather
than the gentleman. The dirk eyes" ir
this case should more than compensate for
the dame orthosraphy. But the prize letter
we have saved to the last Here Is the
wav the woman celebrates herself:
IT am Is years Of age. strong and fat
good looking. l have dark brown, wavy
hair, very even teeth. ike row OF pearls
and form that would break any mans
heart 1 weigh l25 pounds and am OF a
loving disposition. Am resident Of Back
Bay and would like to meet you at your
convenience"
Why should Mr.. Fairbanks seek further'
The woman with dirk eyes" is all well
enough, but she hardly seems to be In the
same class with one who is strong. IA
and good looking" and who has ''very
even teeth. like a row OF pearls. and form
that would break any mans heart" Surely
/ the quest should cease with this daughter
/ OF the gods. Whether the gentleman {,
/ worthy OF such prize we do not know
for we have not seen his portrait, or reat
his autobiography. But into that question
we do not care 70 enter az this time. w,
simply suggest that the entries be closed
| Indianapolis News.