davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
THE Eleroeness of Debate.

You think your next speech will
make an impression" said the cam.
paign adviser.
Il do answered the candidate.
Have you any new arguments to
place before your opponent"
No; but l have lot of new names
to call him. Washington Star.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
Miserable.

"Old man wilkins is feeling miser.
able"
You don't say! thought he was
looking in splendid health"
That's just it. He's feeling so
healthy he can't think of anything to
take medicine for, so he just sits
and pines "-Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
Paraded Too Much.

Father lin alarm)-I think we'd
better call the doctor. The baby has
slept thirteen hours straight!
Mother-There's no danger. He
wore his first pair of pants yester
day; that's all.-Detroit Free Press
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22

James X. Selfridge, is a captain in
the navy and was recently ordinance
officer of the Boston navy yard. Cap
tain Selfridge's son is Duncan I. Self
ridge, midshipman in the third class
in the Naval Academy and looks for
ward to being an admiral like his
paternal ancestors, rank which his
father will also attain within three
years. Here was a family that had
three flag oflicers-father, son and
grandson-on the navy list at one
time, all distinguished officers and
who traced their origin to the infant
days of the service, and who moreover
were further represented by two gen
erations of descendants wearing the
blue.
Long Continued Service.
This is perhaps the most marked
instance of long continued service of
one family in one paternal line in
either Service.
But the name of Porter presses 1t
closely. Commodore David Porter, son
of Continental naval officer, served
in the war of 1912, and in the Essex,
sloop of war fought off the English
frigate Cherub until, driven ashore
his ship was burned. He returned
home to find himself regarded as a
hero and to undergo the hero's ex.
perience with republics, which are
VIGOROUSLY ungrateful. He resigned
and entered the Mexican service with
flag rank, became Disguised and re-
signed. Three of his sons entered the
navy. One of them was Admiral David
d. Porter, one of the three full ad
mirals our naval service has ever
known. OF the other sons, one died
young, the other attained captains
rank and survived the civil war, in
which he participated. Admiral ID. ID
Porter, son, entered Annapolis in the
famous class of '65, graduating in
1869, and is now a commander An
other son entered the marine corps
but died young.
The Truxtons, descendants of the
famous old Commodore Thomas Trux
ton, are represented in the service by
two names in the junior grade. But
this is an atavism, for this family
having figured in the service for near
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
Power Reduced.

HE started away with GO horse
FER" related the new member of
automobile club.
And what power did he return
Lh?' asked the other member.
One horsepower
What? Do you mean to say one
sepower would move that big ma
ne?"
1t had to. The farmer only had
old plug he could spare when
machine broke down 20 miles
m the nearest repair shop."-Chi-
% Daily News.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
VIII Pose.

He--Why are you wearing tiat ex.
IslVe gown at that dinner tonight?
isn't such a swell affair.
,I Sae-i know 1t; but don't feel like
ans much and with this gown on
bo, w ;, De entirely lost sight of.-De.
VI Free Press
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
Could Erupt and Run.

Don't you think it is queer that
smart man like Mahomet could ever
have expected mountain to go to
him."
"Oh, l don't know; maybe the
mountain he had reference to was
volcano Detroit Free Press.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
What Callers Are For.

how, Hannah, just look at these
kfs There must be an inch of
on them.
| We'll, ma'am, you know yourself
haven't had a caller for nearly
Feek-Judge.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
An incomplete Reformer.

so you approve of spelling re-
form?"
Certainly"
Have you adopted it?"
Not yet. l haven't had time to
go through my letters and un-spell
them. Washington Star.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
eIa sum Dor ProhIbItlon Cause.

j. b. Martin, an Ohio man, who owns
large mining properties in Alaska, as.
serts that he will give 100000 a year
to the cause of prohibition.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22

lines they are still democracy, pure
and undefiled, out of which Deweys
and Schleys are always ready to
spring.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
More Respectful.

How do you like your new cook?"
She can't cook as well as the old
one, but she treats us lots better
Milwaukee Sentinel
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
A Mean Advantage.
coming

aax-Im going to quit rooming
'tA Charlie.
us Chum-What's the matter?
F,ss he talk in his sleep?
an-No, but he listens. when | do.
oetroit Free Press.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22

Flo (chatting with strangely -Your
teacher is charming young lady
suppose you love her very much?
Billy-Steady. steady D'you think
I'm going to tell you all about my love
affairs?
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
The Inertia of Jones.

What do you suppose is the canse
Jones getting on in tile world so
Pwly?"
Pure laziness. That man would
tually rather pay rent than move"
Judge.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
q g. NNzkS{D mD|E.|,1,'
EEll7C1[1C2[5[D> 25r1O[L[ IS
A Difficulty.

rms oratory. all well meant,
OFT leaves us in plight.
a man is just as eloquent
When wrong as when he's right,
Washington Star.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22

Jane (protestingly)-Bu | don't
think missis would like this sort OF
thing, sir
Old Sparkins--No, Jane, l don't
think she would. Not in her line at
all. Now, I'm very fond of it myself.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
Historic Lee Family

The Lees, of Virginia, were even
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22

So long, our visits over for today
Come in again any time just after din
ner and stay until just before tsG
Bring your crochet work-or nit
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
Why He Didn't PROSPER.

John d. Rockefeller, Jr., in an adj
dress ON the subject of success. said:
Il will illustrate my meaning with
al incident that happened in a West
ern mill.
"A huge, brawny chap applied 10 the
foreman of the mill for work. Though
there were no vacancies, the foreman
took him Ou-he told so piteOus IA tale
Of wOe-and set him to shoveling coal
in the mill ward.
In the afternoon the foreman Went
to see how the new hand was doing.
He found him, in company with an Old
hand-a lean veteran Of sixty-shOvel.
luz coal into a cart. But the old hand
worked faster than The new one shOv-
cling in two shovrifUls Of coal to the
new hands one.
"'LOok here, said the foreman 10
the brawny stranger. this is hardly
fair. Pete is throwing two ~shovelfuls
into the cart to your one
Yes boss replied the new hand,
and | told the fool about it, too"
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
Bavarians Keep Dogs.
(To be c%ontinued.)

Bavarians are not ~extravagant, but
no family is sc poor that it can not
afford to keep d dog. Dogs are every
where in Munich, and every tram car
passing has a string of dogs after it
dogs whose are passengers. At
the entrance of the large shops groups
of sedate, patient dogs can be seen
waiting for their masters. In the cafes
the dogs are prominent. Everybody
takes his animal with him-sometimes
two or three-and, after the dogs have
tapped their beer or saucer of coffee
for the dog fares like his MASTER
there is a great scampering and shut
fling under the chairs and tables, but
no one seems annoyed at the melee.
1t is from the banks that dogs are
rigidly excluded, and a porter is placed
at the door of each bank for the pur-
pose of checking your pet, like an UNI
brella or a parcel. The Munich dog,
mostly a dachshund, is intelligent and
good-natured. He romps with the cats
without biting them, carries umbrellas
and canes much larger than himself,
and is lever disobedient, except when
he has INDUCED in too much beer.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
RHEUMATISM CURED
The Disease Yielded Readily to Or.
Williams Pink Pills After Other
Treatment Failed.

DIR. Williams Pink Pills cure rheuma.
tism because they supply the necessary
elements to the Initiated blood and en-
able nature to cast out the impurities
and effect "a cure. Mrs. A. Baker, of No.
1l9 Fitch street, Syracuse, n. Y, will
furnish living evidence of the truth of
this statement. There has been rheu.
matISm in my family ever since | can re-
member, she says. My grandmother
was a great sufferer from muscular
rheumatism and my mother also had the
disease i'll q mild form. About q wear
ago | had Il hard cold and rheumatism
caught me III my left knee. There We're
sharp pains, confined to the neighbor-
hood of the knee and they seemed TO go
right into the bone. The pain ! suffered
was intense and | also had dizzy spells.
1.-The doctors called my trouble
rTiatiC and sCiatic rheumatism. When
| didn't get better under their treat
mnntmy brOther-in-law Suggested thatI
trv DR.. Williams Pink Pills. | bought
three boxes, and, by the time | had
taken them, the pain and dizziness had
entirely left me. ] wanted to make
sure OF a cure 50 | bought t'ree more
boxes, but [ didn't take quite all of them
a. | f0umd that | was entirely cured.
Before took the pills the pain was
So severe that | had to cry at times and
when | was cured | was so thankful aud
grateful aud | am glad to recommend
them to every one who suffers with
TMnumatiSm."
DR.. Williams Pink Pills have cured
severe cases of an2mia, Sclatica, nervous
ness, partial paralysis, locOmotOr ataxia
and St. NituS' dance that have not re-
spomded to other modes of treatment.
All druggists sell DIR. Williams Pink
Pills or they viii be sent by mail, post
paid, on receipt Of price, so cents per
box, six boxes for 500, by the DR.. VIII
LamS Medicine Co.. Schenectady, N. Y.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
DECAYED STARCH.
A Food Problem.

An AshevilIe man tells how right
food did that which medicines had
failed to accomplish.
For more than Is years" he says,
Il was afflicted with stomach trouble
aud Intestinal Indigestion, gas form
ing in stomach aud bowels and giving
me great distress. These conditions
were undoubtedly due to the starchy
food I ate, white bread, potatoes, etc,
and didn't digest. | grew worse with
time, til, 2 years ago, | had an attack
which the doctor diagnosed as appen.
dicitl5. When the surgeon operated
on me, however, it was found that my
trouble was ulcer of the pancreas in,
stead of appendicitis.
Since that time | have had several
such attacks, suffering death. almost.
The last attack was about 3 months
ego. and I endured untold agonies.
The doctor then said that L would
have to eat less starchy stuff, so |
began the use of Grape-NUts food for
l knew il to be predigestel, and have
continued same with most gratifying
results, 1t has built me up wonder
fully. | gained 10 pounds in the frs
8 weeks that | used Grape-Nuts, my
general health is better than ever
before. my brain Is clearer and my
nerves stronger.
For breakfast and dinner, each.
take 4 ~teaspoonfuls Of Grape-Nuts
with cream, q snail slice of dry toast
an egg soft boiled and q cup of Post
UNI; and | make the evening meal or
Grape-NutS and cream alone-thiS
gives me a good nights rest and
am we'll again" Name given by Post
UNI Co, Battle Creek, Mich.
There's a reason. Read the little
book. The Road to MELVILLE" II
pkgs.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12

I'D. CRUMBO, Ex-Mayor of New
IL Albany, Ind, writes from 511 E.
Oak street:
"My endorsement of Peruna is
based on its merits.
IF a man is sick he looks anxiously
for something which will cure him,
and Peruna will do the work.
81 know that it will cure catarrh of
the head or stomach, indigestion, head
ache and any weary or sick feeling.
1T is bound to help anyone, If used
according to directions.
81 also know dozens of men who
speak in the highest terms of Peruna
and have yet to hear of anyone being
disappointed in it,"
Mr.. Crumbo, in a later letter, dated
Aug 25, 1904, says:
My health is good. at present, but if
I should have to take any more medi-
cine / will fall back ON Peruna."
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12

In a discussion Of the brutality Of
football Morris Wood, the skating
champion, said the other day:
One of my friends told ME that last
fall as he was walking down a certain
street he saw a crowd collected, and
in the center two lads fighting like
mad.
The older lad, as my friend APP
proached, downed the younger one,
and then began to kick him.
To this treatment the younger lad
objected Justify.
Here, Jack he shouted. squirming
undcr the kicks, mind what yer about.
This is only a fight. 1t amt football"
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
Origin of q Celebrated Jest.

When Mr.. Evarts, who was my near
relative and a man with whom l could
take a liberty, came into the Senate. !
said to him that we should have to
amend the rules so that a motion to
adjourn would be in order in the mid
die of a sentence, to which he replied
that he knew of nobody in this country
who objected to long sentences except
the criminal classes.-Senator Hoar in
Scribner's.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
Marrow Escape.

Il can cure you, | believe" said
the young doctor, "but you must drink
no coffee
81 never do drink coffee" interrupt
ed the patient,
"E-r, don't interrupt me. AS | was
saying. you must drink no coffee but
purest Mocha. You must drink a lit
tie of that every morning"
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
CHAPTER XI.
A PuzZ ed %Spaniard.

Philip was pacing to anc fro in the
Council Room. His heaS was bent.
His hands clasped behind him. He
was evidently in deep thought. AS
he passed a high barred window he
paused and looked out. His gaze war;
dered to the distant fields and we'll
titled acres of Salvarez.
1t was a splendid, a magnificent es-
tate.
AS far as the eye could see the land
belonged to Salvarez. And Salvarez
was now a prisoner, one of fifty sur
vivors of the bloody battle that de-
stroyed the defenders Of the Republic
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
The Resemblance,

when Crittick was discussing my
new tragedy with YOU" said De Ritter,
81 overheard him remark that it re-
minded him of Shakespeare. OF course.
that was rather ~eXtravagant, but
Not at all" replied Kandor, 'he was
discussing the plot. Shakespeare al
ways stole his plots, you know"
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
RUBBING II In.

Old Skinem-Huh! So you want to
marry my daughter, Ell?
Young MAXWELL, / guess that's
about the size of it.
Old Skinem-Um-yes. Can O sup.
port her in the style to which she has
been accustomed?
Young Mani can-but I'm not
mean enough to do 1t.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
Foxy owe.

You mortified me to DEATH" COM
planned Mrs. Richley.
How" demanded her sick husband.
"Why did you tell that new doctor
you were in the habit of eating corned
beef and cabbage? We never have
such common food as that"
well, | want him to fix his charges
on a corned beef and cabbage oasis"
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
Helpful.

1--WE been looking for a small man
in this department with glasses" said
the old lady.
"Well?" replied the new floor walk
err.
well, | can't find him"
"Mebbe the glasses you've been look.
ing for him with amt strong enough,
ma'am. Try a microscope"
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
Her Hobby.

Bragg-Sure. He originated the part.
Stingyman's Wife-I'm saving all OF
the money you give me, dear.
Stingyman-That's good.
Wife-Yes. | call it my collection
of rare old coins"
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
important to M others.
OF Course.

Van Camp once knew a man who
really enjoyed moving.
Flatleigh-I don't believe it.
Van Camp-It's a fact. You see, he
lived in a houseboat.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12
Explained

"Say, dad"
We'll, SOM"
"What's q Pedestrian"
"a pedestrian, son, is one who
doesn't have time to get out Of the
way of an auto"
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, softens the gums, reduces IN
~nsmmatiOn, sllsys pain. cures wind collie. Csc = bottle.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12

Gardeners mind their peas and
Cinnamon mind their queues.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12

That it is possible TO secure an arte.
sian well with a pressure of upward Of
200 pounds to the square inch. which
would make it the greatest well of the
kind in the United States, is the con-
ident belief of the authorities Of
W~OOnsocket. 1t is now proposed to
sink a new artesian we'll several hun
dred feet deeper than the present
wells, and thus tap the same strata
of rock as the Chamberlain artesian
wells, which are famous for their i'm
mense flows. In order to reach this
strata at Woonsocket it will be neces-
sary to drill to a depth of 1000 or 1000
feet, but it is fully believed by those
who have studied the matter that at
this depth a flow with a pressure of
more than 200 pounds to the square
inch car be secured. The result of the
experiment will prove of value in dem
onstrating the possibilities OF the great
artesian basin which underlies South
Dakota.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1906-04-12

Articles Of incorporation have been
filed for the Stickney State bank of
Stickney. Aurora county, with a cap
ital of 5000; incorporators, F. A. Nc
Cormack, Sioux City: II. II. Grey, J. NJ
Newell. Mount Vernon; w. F, Lathrop,
w. p. Smith, Plankinton.
Samuel H. Lea of Sturgis, who has
for more than a year been employed in
the construction department at Fort
Meade, has been appointed state IN
gineer of South Dakota by Gov. Elrod.
Mr.. Lea has resigned his position at
the post and in a few days will leave
Pierre to enter Upon his duties.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1906-05-02
Zach Smith in Trouble Again.

Zach Smith, an old offender. who
has served one term in the State
penitentiary for law-breaking, was
hailed before Judge Crow yester-
day morning, charged with dis
order and assault.
1t appears from the witnesses(of
whom there were large number)
that Zach had threatened to exter-
inmate the Carter family in Jose
phine City with a shotgun yester-
day.
While the excitement was at its
height, Sergeant Ricamore was
called upon, and Zach was locked
up for the night.
After hearing the testimony,
Judge Crow taxed Zachariah SIS
and costs, amounting in total to
over S25, and demanded bond to
insure his peaceful quietude for
the next twelve months. As Zach
ariah was unable to give the desir-
ed bond, he was placed in the
custody of JaiIer Lupton, where
he will remain until the fine is
settled and the peace bond executed
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1906-05-02

And from those giddy heights of fame.
They hurled the Wanting foreign Eagle,
And all his eagle,s with Franz Siegel.
And as we gather here today.
In smiles our tears have passed away,
And we renew the wondrous sight,
or those who bsttled for the ght.
For in the worlds long history.
There stands but this one victory,
Where college boys with men have fought
And taught the world as they were taught
Our Alma Mater then we praise.
And here this noble shaft upraise.
That all the world may see the light
That streams forth from that glorious
fight.
LITTLE ROOSTER on THE SHENANDOAH
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1906-05-02
CORRESPONDENCE
MOUNT AIRY.

II the forest in its new robe Of green,
with the earth covered with beautiful
flowers, is a sign of the summer. il is
really here, as everything in nature has
become so lovely.
Many Of our people are making gar
dens, though here on the Top the season
is later for such work than in theValley,
as the nights are cool yet.
We understand that Mr.. and Mrs.
Morton, of Washington. will run the
Mountain House this season.
Mr.. Demonet was at the Top Sunday.
DR. Earnest Sellhausen was at sellsen-
horst sunday.
Miss Anna Bell has returned to her
home at Pine Grove, after two weeks
stay with her sister. Mrs. Luther Bell. Of
Berryville.
Mr.. Mcizerot and family viii take pos
session of their summer home during
this week. NIr. Netzerot recently had
Mr.. Tom Baker make him an artesian
well that has given wonderful satisfac-
tion, without having 20 20 very deep for
a stream
Mr.. John Smith has been making a
well on the Joaunasburg farm. but has
been so unfortunate as 20 lose two drills
at a very great depth, which will prove
a great loss 90 Nr. smith. However.
he is hard to down. and in the face of
bad luck viii try again.
Miss a. Y. Elsca visited her sister.
Mrs. II. p. smith, az Boyce, Sunday.
Mrs. Snyder, of Romnev. WA. spent
few days last week at the Mountain
House with her cousin, Mrs. W. II. Kelley
Mrs. Harriet Turner. Of Washington.
visited her daughter Nrs. Geo. Plaster.
Jr.. last week.
Our old friend Mt John Lonrerbeam
is very low from extreme old age. and
has been unable TO leave his bed for
sometime
Mr. Carpenter has water at his house
sufficient for use there. butfor stock pur-
poses he is having a well made on his
farm that viii give five gallon of water 10
the minute. This quantity will water
the whole place in abundance.
We are glad TO think that the peach
crop Is not iniurd Co great extent.
There has been very heavy bloom.
both of cherry and peaches, az the Top.
Miss Mary Collier Of Ebenezer. visited
Miss Minnie Rippon, at Round Hill last
week. Miss Minnie is employed in
Connecticut in home for homeless
women, and has been there for two years.
Aside from being away So far from her
aged mother. she seems 90 be well pleas
ed with hev situation. She returned
May I 20 her work as assistant matron
at this institution.