The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-21
HUMOR or THE DAY

HUM0R OF THE DzY
First clubman-I say, how do you spell
second SC;Iubman-Te-m-p-o-r-a-r-y; and
the next word has two Rs, e-n-b-a-r-
First clubman- Thankss-Punch.
THAT fellow is always talking Iearnedly
about bank clearings. Does he know any
ne ought to. He sweeps out every
day Chicago Journal
particularly family tree?
Wabash don't know, but il she IS It s
peach tree.-Browning's Magazine
women certainly do run to extremes
in their eating
wen. yonder is girl eating angel
cake with .deviled ham, Louisville Cour-
ier-Journal.
Pat-oi see. Dugan has been left a fine
S1ikeEThe poor devil An he xid ali
the taxes he can pay already.-Boston
Transcript.
Customer-FEow can you AFFORD to give
away a pair Of rubber overshoes with ev-
cry pair Of shoes?
DeaIer-If you had ever observed how
1O1-A
you wouldn't ask.-C1eveiand Leader.
Flvnn-Oi tell yez they s no use thrryin'
to iddica-ate Thin Choinese.
MulhOoley-An phwy Is thot2
Flynn-Oi jist asked wan av thin the
Choinese .wur-rud for St, Patrick's day.
an, bedad. he couldn't tell me.-American
Spectator.
I wish you could give me something that
will make me sleep"
Professor. you remind me of patient
1 had once ii East saginaw He was
Good That will do just well. Co
ahead and tell the story. doctor. I've
heard it five or six times. Chicago Tri-
bune.
Which is the higher-a count or an
ea ear asked the girl who had just come
Il don't know replied old man scadds-
ley. The only one we have in our fam
lily is a count. but if an earl's any higher
I m mighty glad We took the first one that
happened to come along ''-Chicago Rec
ord-Herald-
First stranger-so you are from Idaho2
Second ngeTTnef IKE she rms for
a street car. You never know for certain
which side she Is running for.-Chicago
News.
I'll bet money. Smith. that your wife
doesn't believe more than half you tell
Il know it. That's why I tell her twice
as much as should Omaha News.
BarnwelI shorts-These are the times
that try mems souls
Howler Rantz-Yes: this walking is
pretty hard on the shoes.-Chicago News.
At a church meeting in the suburbs Of
New York the inquiry was made whether
a certain lawyer of the congregation in
terested IN the insurance investigation
had gotten religion" To this another
lawyer responded: mo. I think not nm
faf & ma
See herer" said the theatrical manager.
havior toward the other members of this
Indeed" .haughtlly replied the thes-
plan, I'm the starb: am I not?',
Wen, yes. but you want to remember
that you're not a fixed star. ''-P hiIadel-
pphia Press
Miss Ethel" he began. "or. Ethel
mean.-l We known you long enough to
drop the Miss haven't ~
Yes. think you have she said.
What prefix do you wish to substitute?"
Cleveland Leader.
Tommy-What is an inheritance tax?
Pat Il when your mother blames all
your faults on me--New York Sun.
why" said she. with her head on his
breast, Il can hear your heart beat?'
That's some cigars breaking" replied
he.-Houston Post.
First Sweet Thing-The Snobinses claim
to be connected with some Of the best
families in town.
Second Sweet Thing-Yes: I understand
they've just put in a eiephone.-Chicago
News.
They opened that night-and-day bank
IN New York on the first Of May
I wonder II the night rates OF interest
are less than the day rates2''
''Aitrates2 This Isn't the Chemical
Bank. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
=, Sally schreeeher lat the piano)-Tm a
Her Father--By Jovei you'd jolly soon
be capsized il you were met by such a
squal as that--Tatler.
And you say you lost your position bv
he great earthquake in San F'rancisco -
inquired the kind lady
Yes, num- replied Prayed Frank
What was your positions?
Wuz a sleep in a barn at de time
mum. Cleveland Leader.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
[F'rom the PhiladeInhfa EecorS