The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1906-01-20
WILD FRESHMAN"
Edith Balfour Permits Her Inn.
agination to Run Riot.
The Picture Of English Beauty
Is not Beautiful.

-Mc4MaHuS writes from MI. CnarIeS
Ireland, to the Buffalo Catholic Union
and Times as follows:
The gullible Englishman come to Ire
land prepared to swallow the most lu-
dicrous story about the wild Irishmer
that the native wags could invent was
4 favorite subject with the Irish novel.
to be found in novels. The inimitable
Lever tells a capital tale of one such
who had come to snatch a fearful JOY
by visiting landlord of the old school
in County Galway-Major Blake; he
| sat at dinner with the Major and his
guests; he learned some marvellous
, things truly about our barbarous coun-
| try. He said of all the things in the
world he wanted to see an Irish wake
The Major instantly summoned his old
!: sportsman servant and commanded him
!, of their visitor The visitor was dunn
!, founded. Old Andy went out of the
. room, and, in less than ten minutes
time, there was a shot heard. YES
they said at the table, We'll have a
wake Andy entered the room again
with the gun still smoking in his
hands. WELL" said the Major, who
is it?" "Och!" said Andy, Just oul
Malachy Kelly; l got him just coming
over the style aback O. the deer park
and l winged him the incest you ever
saw. 1t would delight your heart,
Major; he never kicked after. His life
was burden to him anyhow" he ex-
planned to the dazed English visitor.
The Englishman left the table on the
plea of sickness; he bundled up his
traps and fled to England
Miss Edith Balfour is the latest to
rc-enact for us the gullible English
man comedy She and her notebook
were lately in the west of Ireland. One
of the big reviews of the British en-
pre, the National Review of London
gave to its astonished readers, over
Miss Balfour's name, a picture of life
in the west which the imaginative Lee
Yer could hardly equal even in a mo-
ment Of inspiration. Miss Balfour dis
covered that it was the custom of the
Irish priesthood to keep champagne on
tap for the benefit of all visitors. She
discovered decent man "who drew a
salary of Scripture reader from the
Protestant Evangelization Society for
forty years; and he good Catholic all
the time" She found also that every
Irish baby is born on the mud floor of
the cabin, in remembrance of the lowly
birth of our Lord. In the west of Ire
land, which Miss Balfour explored also,
because the fairies seized children and
dragged them off to the hills, being
particularly partial to the little boys,
the boys, till they grow tall, are
dressed as girls to deceive the fairies.''
If it were written down in a story
that in this ''so-called goth century" an
English lady Of culture, hearkening to
a choking Irish jarvey, not merely
wasted lead pencil writing down these
things, but likewise wrote them over
her own name as proofs of the still
benighted state of Ireland-that she
offered them to her countrymen and
countrywomen in cold print, and that
a review, which considers itself one of
the leading reviews of the civilized
world, made itself the means of dis
seminating this ridiculous stuff-the
story would be pooh-pooed as outrun-
ming the license of fiction. think the
time Is ripe for a Connemara man to
make tour Of our cultured sister is
land and write us some half-dozen
startling articles entitled IN Darkest
England In all truth they would be
startling.
There Is a caustic Englishman, a
. writer of much ability, T. w. H. Cres-
land, who was over in Ireland some
time ago to see u.s. and to write book
on us entitled THE Wild Irishman.'
He had just made himself famous by
his book, THE Unspeakable Scot" Mr.
Grassland saw many of our failings anG
did not spare them. He saw the fail.
: ings Of the Ulster Scot, too: and sailed
the Ulster Scot and rubbed it we'll into
him. Mr.. Grassland showed himself no
to be one Of the stupid brand of Eng.
i, lishmen; he saw our virtues as well a.
our vices. He saw, too, the beauty O.
feminine Ireland-and praised it unre
servedly. Referring to the beautie.
r across the water from us, here are hi
: words: THE solemn fact remains tina
the beauty Of Englands fairest daugh
u tiers and Scotland's bonniest lassie
alike has become a doubtful quantity
u Hard faces. bleery eyes, saw teeth
humpy shoulders. and undignifled gait
. not to mention greasy compilations
t scanty hair, honey hands. and knocl
e knees. are the rule and not the excep
e ton amongst English womankind.
3 There Is very little ambiguity abou
v that.
Many thousands of English womel
these days have no time to think O
= their beauty. Vast crowds Of the wo
= men Of the working class demonstrate,
in London recently. demanding worl