davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
WAS OLD JOKE ON THE COAST.
Nothing New About Boiling Spring
in the Ocean.

Nothing New About Boiling Spring
in the Ocean.
There's a wonderful hot spring that
bubbles up in the ocean a mile of
Catalina island,'' remarked Percival
S. Burkhardt, a Poughkeepsie bank
er, as he leaned over the counter at
the st. Francis. "A boiling hot spring
right out in the ocean seems almost
incredible, and I wouldn't have be-
lieved it if hadn't seen it with my
eyes and dipped my fingers into the
almost scalding water. was out
trolling for yellowtail one day In
gasoline launch, when the boatman
told me about the wonderful spring.
We were not very far from it, so we
cruised around and found it, and as
we passed over it he dipped a bucket
Of water out of the ocean that was
scalding hot. 1t was one of the most
wonderful experiences Of the many I
have had in California, and wouldn't
have missed it for a. great deal.''
Eyes, I had that game played on
me once" remarked Chief Clerk Nc
Dermott, rather carelessly.
Il don't understand you," declared
the Poughkeepsie banker.
"Iou were out in a gasoline
launch"
Exactly"
"And the boatman held the bucket
over the stern Of the boat for several
minutes while getting his bearings
from the landmarks on shore before
dipping up the hot water?"
Eyes, I think he did,
II thought SO. The hot water came
from the exhaust pipe of the gas en-
CINE"
"Well, I'll be jiggered!"-Sa Fran
cisco Chronicle.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
There Was a Limit,

An 1rishman one day went into the
shop of barber to get shaved. After
being properly seated and the lather
about half applied, the barber was
called to an adjoining room, where
he was detained for some time. The
barber had in the shop as a pet
monkey, which was continually imi-
tat1ng its master. As soon as the lat.
ter left the room the monkey grabbed
the brush and proceeded to finish
lathering the Irishman's face. After
doing this he took a razor from it's
case and stropped it and then turned
to the Irishman to shave him. v
. "Shtop that" said Pat. Eye can
tuck the towel in me neck and put the
soap on me face, but, begorrah, yer
fathers got to shave met" = II
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

to sing anoth er'= son 8 g. soon 40 she
finished one, and she was more than.
willing. She drank most. too much
wine: at supper, and volunteered a
high kicking performance in the front
drawing room afterward. Some Of
the boys said she wore tights tor the
occasion: She got so sociable, that
she called Westmoreland 'Ducky' and
insisted on teaching Billingsley, tn:
railroad man, how to dance the high
kick. Wonder where in the Sam Hill
your wife picked her up? They're so
different .
Looking back over the matter it
gives me pleasure to recall that I did
not allow Mercedes to rest under the
imputationa second, but shouldered
the entire blame for F1ossie's break.
ing into society myself
Mercedes doesn't have to sympa-
thize with me any more over "exces..
slVe work" down town.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Not Kind.

: Cyrus had. finished his story, of the
wonderful memory Of an elephant, and
remarked that he, himself, could, re.
member the name : Of: every: soldier in
his army. ~. = a l.. >s%G*
But understand: he. said, with a
slight flush, Il am. not one Of these
people who never forget a face.n'' ~ r ;:
Fearful lest they did not attach
enough Importance TO- the remark,
he scanned their faces TO see, II they
heard him or had been thinking and
chuckling over the stories they were
going to tell when their: turns came. ~.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Po!iteness Carried Too Far.

The gentleman of the east feels
bound out of politeness, to give one
the answer that will prove most agree.
able. An English motor car enthu-
siast who attempted recently to tour
through northern India gives this as
an example of the difficulty of obtain
ing route information from intelli.
gent natives by repeated inquiries:
rs it far to Gilgit?"
''Not so far, your highness.".
'One or two kos?"
Eyes, your highness.
isn't it three?"
1T may: be, your highness.'
us that what it is?''
1T may be five or six, your high
ness" ~.
"Then, why did you say it was one
or two?"
:"'To please your highness."
"Now, what is the real distance?"
"Whatever your highness pleases. -
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
The New Thought Corn-kiIIer.

Inc new lnou9nt Corn-kitier.
Why suffer with old-fashioned corns
when the New Thought treatment Of
fers an immediate and painless cure?
Anybody can do it who has the New
Thought. Expose the corns and pass
the finger tips Of your right hand over
them slowly and carressingly, at the
same time sending current of vibra-
lions from the brain to the corn. If it
is soft corn, 413 vibrations per Sec
Ond will suffice; if a hard corn put on
forced draught. Repeat slowly: II
am now sending a current of Thought
Force into my corn, and am SO sep
arating, deducing, detaching, disinte-
grating, rending, splitting, sundering,
splintering, shipping, dwellicating,
whiting, dispensing, dislocating,
Gliding, divorcing, pulverizing, slash
ing, slicing and dissecting it, that pres
emily it. will pass away" Repeat three
times, then, with rising infection,
'Avaunt, avaunt, avaunt!" Finish by
repeating the password, 1.-The universe
is. mine. I am it, The corn will at
first look extremely surprised, then
wilt and fade beautifully from sight
Judge,
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
FACTS FROM RUSSIAN CENSUS
Vast Number Of IIIiterates in the
Land Of the Gar,

vast NUMBER OF llliterates in the
Land of the Car.
Final results of the Russian GEN.
sus of 1897 are still appearing at in
tervals. Among the latest figures
published by the statistical depart
ment are the following: s'The total
population of the Russian empire lex
Guiding Finland) on May 10, 1897,
was 126,586,525. Of these SIPS, 6O4
were members Of the orthodox
church. Old believers and other Sec
lions numbered 2,204,596; Mohamme-
dams, 13,906,972; Roman Catholics,
II, 4O7,994; Jews, 5,215, S05; Protest
ants Uutheran) 3,572,653. A division
of the population on the basis of
classes gives the following results:
Hereditary mobiles, 1,220,169; mobiles
for life, or by virtue of office, 630,-
l19; priests of all Christian denomi-
nations, 588,947; honorable citizens,
1927; merchants, 281,179; bur-
gesses, 13,386,392; peasants, $685.
648; Cossacks, 2,928,S42; foreigners,
8,297,965. Illiterates numbered &c.
070,426 GO per cent?. Students at
the universities and other institu-
lions for higher education numbered
104, 1921.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
My Mothers Garden.

Her heart was like her garden,
Old-fashiOned, quaint and sweet,
A wealth Of buds ard blossoms
Hid in a still retreat.
Sweet viOlets of sympathy
Were always opening there,
And lilies white ard pure enclosed,
Each one whispered prayer.
Forget me-nots there fingered
To late perfection brought.
And there blocmed purple pansies
In many a tender thought
There hopes first srowdrops took deep
root
And lowered because they must,
There loves own roses reached toward
heaven
On trellises Of trust.
And in that quiet garden
The garden of her heart
Song-birds built nests, and caroled
Their songs of ckeer apart.
And from it still floats back to us,
O'ercoming sin and strife,
Sweet as the breath of roses blown,
The fragrance of her life.
Alice E. Allen in Good Housekeeping.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
WHAT they WERE THERE FOR.
Phleqmatic Comment on Pompous'y
Worded Notice.

Phleamatic Comment on Pompous'y
Worded Notice.
Representative Champ Clark tells
of an amusing story in connection
with the Inauguration Of Thomas T..
Crittenden as governor of Missouri, a
ceremony attended with more frills
than any other in the state since the
civil war.
According to Mr.. Clark, there were
on this occasion military organlza-
lions and bands galore, and special
car loads of people came from Kan
sas City and st. Louis to witness the
pageant. Capt. Hawley of st. Louis
was grand marshal of the day. Lieut..
Gov. Brockmeyer, a quaint character,
was presiding over the senate, and as
he proceeded to the hall OF the House
Of Representatives, where the two
bodies in joint session were to re-
ceive the new governor, he lolled back
in his chair on the presidents stand
and smoked big corncob pipe with
the utmost nonchalance.
The Senate lobby was crowded, and
senators were in their seats, on the
tiptoe of expectancy, for the strains
of martial music could be heard from
all directions. At this juncture a fig
ure in a glittering and brilliant uni
form pushed through the crowd and
marched halfway up the aisle. This
was Marshal Of the Day Hawley.
nrawinr his sword he made a pro-
found military salute, and announced,
with much pomposity:
"Mr. President, the governor of
Missouri and his staff now approach"
without removing his pipe from his
mouth, Brockmeyer responded:
'tVell, let him come; dot is vot we
are here r."-Harper's Weekly.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
INDIANS DYING OUT.
Usage Tribe Will Soon Have Perished:
rom the Earth

Usage Tribe Will Soon Have Perished.
From the Earth.
Few realize that one of the fast
::-anishing tribes of Indians forms the:
richest nation" in the world.
These Indians, known as the Osages,
abide on a reservation in the northeast
corner of Oklahoma The government
for many years has held a large sum
IN trust for them, until even now there
is but a vague idea as to their indi-
V1dual wealth. 1t is well known that
every lndian-brave, squaw and pa
poose-on the reservation has at least
$4,000 or $4,000 to his or her name in
the governments keeping, as we'll as
quarter section of land in the Usage
reservation. This land, which has re-
Gently. been developed, shows almost
lnexhaustible resources. These Indi-
ans have accumulated wealth under
the paternal policy of the government.
Their chief amusement consists of
Visiting. which the broad hospitality of
the west makes an exceedingly mex
penslve pastime. Their wants, being
few, make slight demands on their re.
sources In the way of food and cloth
ing. At the same time the word
work" is an abomination to them
iney lease their lands to small farm
ers and cattlemen and devote most of
their time to strenuous avoidance of
anything like labor,
Inc Usage reservation consists, in
round numbers, of about $4,000 900
acres of land, which was originally
leased by about twenty five cattlemen
at an annual rental of $4,000 a year,
but with the advent of the small farm
er these broad acres have been cut I'D
into small sections of land and are
proving exceedingly remunerative to
the tenants as well as to the Indian
landlords.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Palma's Son Takes Up RaiIroadino

Palma's Son Takes Up RaiIroadina,
Jose Estrada Palma, son Of Presi-
dent Palma of Cuba, is making prac.
ttcal. study OF the railroad business.
Some time, ago he went to Mexico and
obtained position as clerk in the
auditing department Of the National
railroad Of Mexico. He performed his
work SO faithfully and well that .hles.
was recently promoted sto tho position.
Eof assistant city ticket agent Of that
ROAD s. the City Of Mexico. = ss5.s
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Put "Sportsman" in Hole.

Beals c. Wright, the tennis cham
pion, was eating reed birds.
when the reed bird season comes
round" he said, II think of my cousin,
an enthusiastic sportsman.
my cousin once went on a reed bird
hunt, and had excellent luck. The
family, on his return, Toasted.
ellis wife, week or so later, said
to him: -
"'How many reed birds was it: that
you shot, do you remember?''
"'Just two dozen,' said my cousin,
and all beauties "a ~ 81: : * =
"'Then the grocer said his wife,
has made a mistake. He charges for
only eighteen" = -. ..:..: L /.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
A Song Of Cotton Planting

- 0Ou9 " ~OISOH
It's de time fer plantin' cotton,
An fer breakin' up the groun',
An about de lil' fa'myahd
Dere's mighty turnin' roun'
Course de fier is mighty rugged,
An de turner's mighty. long,
But I keeps right on a-ploughin'
An sings a lir song.
Wen de. mule is sorter stubborn,
An begins to rair ah' kick,
Den I ,exahcises patience
An strikes him nary lick.
'Taint no use to fuss an holler-
'Tain't no use to treat him wrong:
So does my bes,, to coax him,
An sings a H'l' song.
Wen de cotton seeds is planted,
An is kivahed up all right,
Den I'm happy ez a June bug
Wen de CONS a-tasslin' bright;
An to show how Pm a-feelin',
.jes' saunters all day long,
Wild my hands down in my pockets,
An sings a ]i'r song.
The Independent,
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Korean Woman Comes to Study.

NOTSa" "onHaH VoT1SS 20 oluoy.
Miss Melissa Kim, a native of Ko-
rea, has. arrived in San Francisco,
where she will study medicine. There
is general movement among the
women of China and Korea, Miss Kim
says in favor of higher education,
and her intimate friend in Hoo-Chow
was Sing: Wong Using Ling, Chi
%nese girl, who has recently gone to,
Japan. to study law there and. will
practice in: the Japanese courts. But
few Korean women have come to this
country thus far ard Miss Kim is the
frststo speak English at all. She is
% years old, -. ~ r :. :7.. = :; :. :
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Family Of Long I:Livers.

"A remarkable instance Of longevity
is displayed in the life Of Matthias and
George .Zweck Of Beaver Dam, Wis,
and John Zweck Of Pittsburg,, three
brothers, the total : Of whose ages
reaches PSI years. John is the Oldest
5of the trio, being. 81 years. George is
four years younger while Matthias IS
regarded as an infant bis age being
only 81 years. The brothers are ma
ztives of Germany, but have been resi-
dents Of the Unit States for the last
fifty, four years, All are ma FRIED and
have children and grand hildren Nv
EN- > ii. , ;z5i 5|:5.E
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Making a Peaceful Settlement.

waking PEACEFUL Settlement.
The Scandinavians not only have
set the world good example in set.
Ting their differences peacefully, but
have given life to the general cause
OF arbitration. One article of the
treaty for the separation Of Norway
and Sweden provides for the submis-
sion of future disputes to the Hague
court. There is the usual reservation
Of matters affecting "the independ-
ence, integrity or vital interests of
either" but another clause sets forth
that the question whether any contro.
versy does affect vital interests"
shall itself be left to arbitration.
This is a far-sighted and humane
plan Of making International dead
locks over trifes far less likely.-New
York Evening Post.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
49, NJ ) y: : ::!;:
By EDQAR WHITE
LX1


dark brown eyes glowed with pleas
ure.
"You have had a nice evening, my
dear?' suggested.
Indeed we have, and I am very
sorry you were not with us. Mr.. and
Mrs. Westmoreland were very much
disappointed"
"Westmoreland!" T gasped, 'Was
he here?'
Certainly"
Westmoreland was one Of the mer-
chant princes whose good will was
worth thousands of dollars to our
firm. and I would have waded through
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

blood and fire to show him a courtesy.
My absence was fatal error.
"Who else?'' I asked gloomily,
Miss Carter"
"She came, did she?"
certainly, and she assisted me very
much in entertaining. She sings quite
EEL mean she is very willing to
sing. You don't have to urge her like
you do some girls. And she's not a
bit embarrassed in company"
I believed that. Going down on the
trolley next day I CHANGED to be the
seat mate of George Hastley, an in
telligent young man, whose name was
becoming known on the exchange.
Il was out to your house last night,
John,' he said.
"Yes?'
Il met a young woman friend of
your Wlfes; she's quite SINGER"
Looked at him sideways, but there
wasn't the ghost of a smile on his
clear-cut features. I knew who he
meant. There was pause, and then
his face lit up as if he was going to
say something, but he checked him.
self.
ran across Westmoreland that mis-
cradle day, and he nodded stifly.
Charles Billingsley, the traffic man.
ager Of a big southern railroad, sat
nea' me at lunch, and, hitching his
chair over to mine, remarked:
my wife and had a pleasant time
at your house last evening; sorry YOU
weren't there"
I told him l was too, and meant
1t. How in the world did it happen
that Mercedes knew so we'll the iden-
tlcal men whose friendship was most
anxious to cultivate?
There was a light-haired young
woman there" the traffic manager
went on, ''who seemed to be very
sociable."
"Yes?" I said encouragingly.
"she was quite personal---very.
pleasant, indeed" Then he looked at
the ceiling and smilingly added: "And
She sings very readily; has quite
repertoire. She seems to be young
woman Of parts"
There he stopped and all. of my
subtle questioning was Intellectual. He
wouldn't add word.
l went around to Hastley's Office In
desperate mood. He was busy, but
when he saw the state of mind / was
in he excused himself from his frienls
and led the way into his private den.
George" I said, coming right up to
the. battle line, "Ive met some dozen
people tod Jay who> were guests at
our house last night, and they all
smile as if hiding something. Now.
I'm going to have the truth from some.
body, If compelled to commit murder
to get it. For the sake of old friend.
ship tell me just what occurred"
He saw I. was in deadly earnest.
For moment he sat looking medi.
tatively out Of the window and tap
ping his fingers on the desk. '.=H
"John," he began, as an amused
smile played UP his countenance:
there's nothing so serious about 1t:
| never thought it was causing YOU
worry. The guests were introduced
to- Miss. Carter. who had her. hair
5friazed out like an: Albino woman and
5dressed3as q chorus girl: Some young
man asked her is play on the piano
and sing + or two mort al hours she
had the whole ne ghbo rhood disturb
5herSsz.r ag time 81 lodies: 81 The
I'll Il. flni n 81 her
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Recipe for a World.

Take one man, a woman and gar
den. Add an apple and good fresh
snake. Stir gently until the pot be-
gins to- boil, then drain off the apple
and keep adding children. Simmer on
a slow fire, then put on ice. Alternate
between the two extremes, giving the
whole good, sound basting when
needed, turning slowly in a proper
space. Keep adding time until the
mass is Of the consistency of a mud
pie covered with ants. Multiply the
inhabitants and garnish with villages,
towns, cities and empires. Now in
troduce little theology and enough
devil sauce to spice Keep adding
battle, murder, sudden death and a
good layer of cant. Put plenty Of salt
In the water and sprinkle with bad
society. When your, yorld is finished
throw It in the fire and begin all over
again.-Leesburg Buckeye. ~
:. 81 Set Their Pastor to Work. )
The Rev. Seabury Wheeler, pastor of
the Woodcliffs chapel at North Bergen,
N. j, who learned. the = carpenters
trade before he studied for the: minis,
try, is converting, the cellar Of the
chapel into a room for Sunday school
sessions and church sociables. I: He: is
doing the work without: any assist
.ance.. 3# ( :.* 55:5$ = I: vs = j :.
II The dominic told ! member Of the
Ladies' Aid Society several weeks ago
that # the society raised 500 to buy
the lumber tor the floor and walls lie
would IL the carp liter work The
women hustl ed around and collected
the cash and the ministe e got THE tim,
.ber. Then he donned al old pair: q
trousers and started E: tto keep his
/p "a q The OK Sun.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
{ 10 Erect $1,000, ooo Cathedral.

I: ~ Archbishop JOIN j. G.ennon, head
of the ! Catholic archdiocese .of. St.
Louis, whc las been abroad for two
months. has. returned, bringing with
him plans for the erectic. ct a $1,o0G,-
600 cathedral. he Visited architects
r. Paris and Berlin for the purpose
and states that the proposed st. Louis
cathedral will be one ot the most i'm.
posing ill the coun try. .S5 =: us IS
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

ant bOOkkeeper and accountant, was
hardly up to connoisseur's standard
Of beauty, but she was pleasant-very
pleasant. Hitherto the book work had
been done by men. Old Armstrong,
who had been superintendent of that
department until his hair had nearly
grown white at it, came near revolving
when he was introduced to the bright
haired young woman whom had come
to help him toll. She was a good
worker-for a while. Armstrong said
she could keep books, and that it was
the only time he ever saw a woman
who could. She often came into the
Office about quitting time, and we had
congenial little chats together. She
was pretty we'll posted on, the theater,
and knew all sorts of odd little places
dainty supper and not be bothered by
too many eyes, She kindly offered
to lead me to coy cafe of the sort
one evening, and I telephoned out to
my wife, Mercedes, that business en-
gagements would prevent my return
ing home till somewhat later than
usual. The walters seemed to know
Flossie, and she addressed them by
their first names. After supper we
strolled up Broadway, and as Flossie
had no particular engagement for the
evening we went to the theater.
She was capital company and I thor
oughly enjoyed her quaint witticisms
Some overly educated folk might have
denominated them slang, but l never
objected to young people expressing
themselves naturally; we get old soon
enough. I offered to see Flossie home
but she said it was quite a way out,
and if / would kindly call cab she
would arrive right side up at her
'roosting place." She was very ef-
fusive in thanking me for her pleasant
evening.
never found out exactly when Mer-
cedes took a hand at the cards, but
when the time came for her to play
I knew it.
One day l dropped into the office
and found Flossie and Mercedes en-
gagged in conversation-that is, Flos-
sic was sitting on my desk, dangling
her feet below, and talking in her
usual friendly, good-natured way. Mer-
cedes was sitting quietly in my chair,
listening as if interested. She arose
when l entered and bowed courteous
ly to me. If an earthquake should &C.
cur l don't believe Mercedes would
forget her manners. Flossie, who was
chewing gum, nodded Familiarity to me
and went on with her talk AS
escorted Mercedes to the street. at
the conclusion of her visit, asked
her what she thought of Miss Carter
"She's charming girl she said
1--WE invited her out to little party
we're going to have Thursday evening"
Will you be too busy to join us?"
I never could fathom those serene
brown eyes when they looked me
square in the face, as they always
did. It occurred to me that the sa1e
thing to say was that business, I'M
fortunately, would prevent my coming
home that evening.
When I went back into the office
asked Flossie if she had accepted Mer-
ceGes' invitation.
"Sure thing" replied the young lady,
you don't suppose I'd pass up a snap
like that. Are you in?''
Somehow Flossie's little manner
fsms didn't seem quite as captivating
that day as usual. which I attributed
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Conqenial little chats toaether.

congental little chats together.
to my own indisposition. When
Thursday came she notified old Arm.
strong that he would have to-. worry
along without her that afternoon, as
she had ian invite to a blowout at
the boss's, and it will keep me hus.
Ting to get my tresses kinked in
time" .. - hH
spent the evening in the ONCE,
wondering what was happening out
home. arrived home about q a. ID.
and found Mercedes. awaiting me Iii
the drawing room. /; She was attlred
In the loveliest costume 4 had D ever ever
seen and her TRANSPARENT face and