The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-03-31
~ONNN~~~NNO

! oh' yes dpu says ne owes
Observation-Disclosures.
|. ostend-Say, pa, how do they raise
political plumsf' pa-By grating.
my son.-Chicago Daily News.
Church-What is your lunch hour?
Gotham-Between twelve o'clock and
hve minutes later.-Yonkers States
man.
1east-Did he fail to make a sue
cess OF business? Crimsonbeak-Yes
believe that Is why he failed.-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
Nell-Old Mr.. Gotrox says he would
die for me. Belle-Re careful. lie
may be stronger than he looks.-Phila-
delphia Record.
DE man dat thinks he knows 1t all"
said Uncle Eben. GENERALLY turns out
to be victim of misplaced confidence"
Washington Star
First Vermiform Appendix-People
are trying to get rid of us. Second
Vermiform Appendix-Yes; but we are
still In the majority
Kind Friend-Pardon me, but l
ought to tell you that Jones has run
away with your wife. Husband
(hored) But why run? Punch.
I'm Sweden plumber is called
acknowledgements HE is, Ell?
I'll bet he charges for the time while
he is being called 1t, too. "-EXchange.
Bella-So she's engaged ut last! She
seems likely to beat us all in the mat
rimonial race. Stella-Yes; she Is on
her last lap this time.-Illustrated
Bits.
Kate-Mlllle says Jack tried to kiss
her and she called him down hard
Do you believe it? Toni believe that
he tried to kiss her, yes Detroit Free
Press.
Peppery-You don't mean to say
that you absolutely do nothing? Cholly
-Aw, l don't even do that. My man
attends to ev'wything, you know
Philadelphia Press.
Pat-This Is great country, Mary
Ann. Mary Ann-Hows that? Pat
Shure tn pa-apers SEE yez can buy a
foive-dollar money order for three
Washington Life.
Walter-How did you order your
beef, sir? Gruffleigh-Personally con-
found you! l suppose l ought to have
ordered 1t by mail two weeks in adj
vance.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Customer lin restaurant) Waiter
wish you would bring me a medium
done porterhouse steak smothered in
mushrooms. Waiter Ito cook Choke
one with the toadstools milwaukee,
Sentinel.
1.-The rolling stone gathers no
MOSS" quoted the man who had never
been outside his home county. True"
rejoined the globe trotter, but 1t &C
qulres an enviable polish."-Chicago
Daily News.
Brown claims to have the most re-
markable auto In town" "Why so? I
don't see anything great about 1t"
well, he says he's had 1t year, and
there are still two Of the original
parts ft."-Judge.
The Lawyer-By the way, what
shall we charge jerks for our services
in that case we won for him? About
thirty thousand? His, Partner--Grea
Scott, mani Isn't he worth more than
that Brooklyn Life
Gentleman With Grievances This
auto breaks down every ten minutes.
Conscientious Dealer-What Of it?
Gentleman With Grievance-You said
there were none better! Conscientious
Dealer-There ain't!-Puck.
"Oh, Johnny" said the Sunday
school teacher, you mustn't take
money from the plate. Why did you
try to do such a thing?" Il thought
YOU said Il was fer the heather, and
nav says I'm one.-Exchange.
First American Acknowledgement In
the world are you going over to see all
the English cathedrals for? Second
American Millionaire-I'm putting up
an automobile stable and I'm looking
for something handsome in design
Life.
Woody declares his grandfather.
descended from one Of the greatest
houses In England" "Ah, yes; did
hear a story about the old man fall
ing off a roof he was repairing once
for Lord Somebody or other.
delphia Ledger.
Farmer Green-Say, Neighbor Jones
raised such big pumpkin that he cut
it in half and made two cradles out
of 1t for his twins. City Boarder-
That's nothing. Down in the city we
often have three cops asleep on
single beat.-EXchange.
IT suppose you will marry when you
grow up" said the visitor, pleasantly.
"No," replied the thoughtful little girl,
mamma says papa is more care than
the children, so l guess the care Of my
children will be enough for me without
the care of husband. "-Chlcago
Evening Post.
Patience-You're quite lame to-day7
Patrice VIII stood on my foot
for two minutes last night. Patience
And you allowed it? Patrice-I didn't
know 1t. Patience-Didn't know he
was standing on your foot? Patrice-
No, l didn't. He was proposing at the
Statesman.
PA" said little Willie, what Is the
difference between a magnet and
magnate?" "A magnet, Willie, is me-
tallic substance, generally Of iron,
which will attract certain metals, but