davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
HVMOR OF TIE DAY

husband until she is married.
never sees him a1fterward-P Philadelphia
Record.
Comparative stganger-whats all this
Summer Boarder- Nothing: just a lynch
ing. The man who wrote the folders de-
scribing this place IS coming down on the
train.-Puck.
F'riend-Your little boy. promises to be a
very Chesterfield in politics
Riter-Yes; I'm bringing him up on the
rejection slips the editors send mex
change.
HeE,Tes. I actually carried my life in
She-Did you live in the suburbs where
they wouldn't deliver less than $ worth?
-Yonkers.
Jimmy--I guess Johnny is lar. or
Jimmy IIll told me his grandfather lost
an I asked him how many battles he us
in, an he said: '-More'n forty."-Cleve-
land Leader.
The Duchess is looking awfully pleas
ed with herself this evening what's the
What Haven't you heard? Why. shes
just been made editor Of the Pet Poodle
PAGE Of the Upper Crust Magazine. -
Punch.
Bridget" said Mrs Hiram Often, stern
", 'on my way home just now saw that
policeman who was in the kitchen with
you so long last evening, and 1 took &C
casion to speak to him
oh. shure. that's all roight, ma am
Oi'm not jealous. OF how him cinched- -
Philadelphia Press.
In Australia there is said to be 2 reg
ular traffic in lending engagement ri-Sss."
THAT might do in Australia. but in the
United States engagement rings don't
come back. Houston Post.
Since that actress married a society
man she sits up nights worrying for fear
somebody will talk about her
Yes and before she was married she
sat up nights worrying for fear they would
not."-Detroit Free Press.
Some of US may be very poor and
some very rich. said the moralist but
we all have a common end
Yes, but to most Of US the common
end of the selfish rich man seems emf
nently proper Philadelphia Press
Knicker-How did they get such a pref
ty name for the summer resort7
Bocker-It was done by the same wo-
man who will call bald, red-faeed baby
Gwendolin Mignon Evangeline. - New
York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

The city council of Lincoln, Ne
braska. granted a franchise to a new
public service project a few days ago,
and one of the stipulations is that the
city shall have the right to purchase
the plant at Its taxable value. At its
taxable" value mind you. Had the
cities Of the country used such fore
sight twenty years ago in granting
franchises to public service corpora
lions. municipal taxpayers would have
had the satisfaction OF knowing that
the corporations We're returned at
pretty near the figure they would be
willing to sell for.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
POINTED PARAGRAPHs.

From the Chicago News.1
The bookmaker loves a cheerful loser.
Often love at first sight is due to an
oversight.
Listen to the advice Of others-and
then follow your own.
No man is really and truly in love if
he doesn't act foolish
It's safer to guess than it is to pre-
dict-and it is equally uncertain.
Waiting maids are not anxious to
wait until they break into the spinster
class.
Alarm clocks and stepladders have
helped many a man to get up in the
world.
Don't think that because q man has
one foot in the grave he isn't able to do
a lot OF unnecessary kicking.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
TIE ROAD TO RICHES.

The story of the country's rapid
strides along the road to wealth never
seems to grow old, probably because
there are ever new developments which
add to interest of the telling. One OF the
latest and best presentations of the
subject is that made by Mr.. Henry
Clews in the most recent issue Of the
Financial Review in which he says:
Let US take a brief glance at our
agricultural situation, the chief basis
Of present hOpefulness. We are prac-
tically sure Of large wheat, corn and
cotton crops. The two former are
promised bumper yields, and the cotton
crop may pass the record if the remain
der of the season proves favorable. Last
year the value of these three crops On
the farm were wheat $51S. 600 600, corn
81 116, 600, cotton 1913. 200, coo, a total
of $2,209 900 900, or nearly 0ne-third of
all the products of agriculture i'll the
country, which amounted to Sc AS, 000,-
900. This year the yield Of wheat IS cal
culated at 722 000 900 bushels, or 30.006,-
600 more than last year; the yield of
corn 2,713, 900, 900 bushels, or 5000 600 in
excess of last years bumper crop; While
the cotton crop is estimated at not less
than 100000 bales, or 1900, 900 bales
more than last year; the oats crop VIII
also show a material increase. Some
estimates have, in consequence. been
made that this years crops will reach
an aggregate value of 81 coo 900 coo.
Such figures are probably excessive: for,
while the yield of 1906 is very large,
prices to the farmer Will average less
than a year ago, and the hay and fruit
crops have not been satisfactory. New
ertheless. the accretion of wealth by
our farmers this year will undoubtedly
be unprecedented, and considerably
greater than in 1905. There must also
have been a large addition to our pro-
ductiOn of mineral wealth. which last
year was valued at $1,2S9. 600, GOO If TO
1 this we add the increased products CT
our mills and factories, which have
] been extraordinarily active, a fair idea
( of the growth of wealth during the year
can be had. The total wealth of our
4 farms, mines and manufactures pro-
/ duced in 1905 was estimated as follows
Agricultural products. IS As, 000. Geo
! Mineral products .......... 1 2S9, 900, 800
Manufactures $500. 1000. IS 600. 00e ,00e
s28. 7o4. ooo. 900
"A per cent addition to this amount,
which is certainly the years minimum.
would equal over 81 1S5. 000. 000-a pretty
good amount of growth even for a ma
ton of surprises like the United States.
! This increase Of wealth means good en-
ployment and good wages for labor,
good trade for the merchant. busy times
for the mills and continued pressure of
traffic on the railroads. One prominent
traffic manager had said after careful
calculations that the present harvest
/ prospects alone mean an increase of Is
per cent in tonnage over last year, corn
and cotton promising to be the chief
articles of increase for the railroads"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe
A dog has no right to be fat.

n QOS HAS lO right 10 De
Tell people the truth about what
you have to sell, and they won't buy
from you.
When the average woman looks In
the glass. she thinks to herself. 81
am not SO bad looking
In dreamy. distant sort Of way, a
man can't help enjoying the story
which tells of a man who has valet.
People are becoming very tired of
the man who guarantees things. il
spite of the fact that his guarantee IS
not good.
why do you continue to send for
doctors?" a hopelessly sick man was
asked. 1T Is amusing to hear 'em
lie he replied.
boy, thinks: What a good time
man has." And a man thinks:
What a good time a boy hast" And
what a bum time both have.
The trouble with the theory that
disease germs are transmitted In kiss
ing is that people get ali the diseases
when they are too old to kiss.
When a farmers wife comes to
town, there is one question she always
asks. and hangs on the answer:
What are you paying for eggs 20
A woman taking on q second mar
riage must feel the same as a maR
who has always worn tailor ma6e
suits and then changes to hand-me-
downs.
When a family puts on extra style
for company, there is always a trern-
BILE going up and down Daughters
back for fear Father will not act is
If he were used to 1t.
Speaking about getting more than
one asked for: There is the man
whose wife weighs 200 pounds. but
who weighed less than a hundred
when he married her.
Good Tning in one town some
times fails to work in another town.
Absolute knowledge seems to be rare
except that it always pays to be in
dustrious. fair and decent.
When a girl wants her folks to give
ner money she says II there are
strangers around Have you any
change? I have nothing but q hiIi .
We have had this worked on ne ~
often that the next time It is tried No
viii demand to see the bill
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

The Pennsylvania railroad is provid-
Ing absolutely hre-proof, r-collapsihle
Bteel cars for the New York tunnel.
These cars weigh los. $50 pounds. against
b 900 for the standard wooden coach,
but It is said that the added weight
greatly reduces the vibration and adds
10 the comfort of the passenger. The
new all steel car has a frame like
cantilever bridge. safety against te!e-
Ecoping being secured by enormous steel
girders. No gas is used. al illu1sina-
ton and heat being by electricity. the
wires being insulated in ueavv metal
conduits. The flooring throughout the
rar and platform consists Of IN inlita-
tion of stone spread over the steel plates
OF the car while In plastic state. The
framing above the windows is composed
Of steel plates. The doors are Of steel
plates filled with cork to dsadan sound
IN short. every possible EFFORT seerns to
have been made to construct q ,cach
which shall be non-wreckabls and non
burnable.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
Full, LEASED vvTF7FF REPORT
or THFE ASSOCIATED T'tSFiS@
HoNTn News WHILE away.

Subscribers 81 the state journal
Nv-av during the summer may have
ehe paper mailed regularly each DAY
20 any address at f7sc rate Of ten cents
q week OF thirty cents a month (Dy
mail only. Address changed as often
aa desired. White out OF town the
STATE Journal WIN be TO you hko a
daily letter from home.
Advance payment IS requested on
ss,ese short time subscriptions TO save
l.onl.Izeeplng expense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

The arrest of the Standard Oil com
pany and various railroads for rebat-
Ing may be followed by the arrest of
the automobile instead of the owner of
the machine the next time somebody
Is run over and killed. An automobile
and a railroad in adjoining cells would
be an interesting spectacle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New York Press.J

From the New York Press
Next to marrying a steam yacht a
girl is the most tempted by an auto
mobile.
Nobody really likes having COM
pany to dinner except the butcher and
the grocer.
Most boys in college seem to think
a liberal education means liberal as to
spending.
A woman is awful deceptive to ask
her husband whether it is going to
rain when she knows it isn't.
Children all ought to go to church
and Sunday school SO their fathers
can have a few hours peace on their
holiday.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

News comes from Iowa that two
members of the legislature of that
state who. during its last session, sup
ported a bill authorizing the killing of
persons supposed to be incurably ill
the slaughter to be committed by
medical men after due consultation
are likely to be beaten in their contest
for denomination because of their ad-
vocacy of this measure. Can't those
iowa people take a joker
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

II have come to the conclusion. j"
said Clinton B. Wray. absconding teller
of the Union Trust company of Pitts
burg, when arrested in Toronto. that
money got dishonesty never works out
to a profit. No matter how carefully
you invest money that you have stolen,
no good will come of it. That was my
experience in every deal that I went
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

into. had sure tips. if any man ever
had. used the regular stock ex-
changes carefully, and only occasionally
the bucket shops. but it was losing
game from the first" Here is a valu-
able sermon set in a few words.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

Newspaper of various political com
plexions throughout New York are
urging the Democrats to wake up and
resist the Hearst boom, but apparently
eth liftle snccess.s -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

The Ohio woman who went to Jail
rather than tell her age is proving that
she is less than one hundred. If she
were a century old she would be proud
of it-Florida Times Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
RUBBING IT IN.

We wish to amend the proposition as
set forth in an editorial paragraph in
these columns yesterday to the effect
that when the Elks invade Philadelphia
next year the question will not he
Where are you going to sleep, but new
are you going to keep awake?-Portland
(Ore.O Telegram.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
TAGGED SALMON.

Scientific Investigators Who have 70
trace the travels of salmon in the
northern waters are tagging the fish
and setting them free. If you find a
tag in your can of salmon report it to
the fishery commission, and not TO the
dog license clerk.-Los Angeles EX-
press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

It Is sad That N. AIaduln, Inc -CuutI
40 odA death sentences pronounced
against him He must be Aladdin the
wonderful scamp Philadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

The unburned district of San Fran
cisco contains 40 per cent more houses
than can be found in any other city on
the coast. It is a trifing mistake 10
assume that the city was wholly de-
stroyed It has only been trihe ham
peTed in its grow th.-San Francisco
Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

J The Brooklyn Times in referring 70
4he hanging Of member of the duma'
remarks that in some things the Rus
clans are ahead of US.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

So many members of the original
Florodora sextette have gone out OF
business that a shortage Of chorus
girls has resulted in New York.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

CONGRESSMAN Longworth says he
was a little disappointed in Colonel
Bryan's speeches in England 1t may
be that the colonel was not entirely
satisfied with the showing made by the
presidents son-in-law.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
HIS MONEYS WORTH.

The man who was fined IS for punch
ing the head of a chap who annoy ed
his wife in a street car probably thinks
he got the worth of his money in adj
vance-New York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

+ It looks as though Walter Wellman
is suffering from a case of cold feet.
But this is not surprising when one
remembers where he Is.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

It is reported that Mr. Hartman is
about to buy the Milwaukee & st. Paul
railroad from Mr.. Rockefeller and the
Milwaukee Journal is wondering If the
Wisconsin metropolis viii be thrown
IN
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

Emperor william talks of visiting
tbe TJnfted States. Milwaukee prob
ablv would be one Of the points on his
Itinerary.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

More than 1000 men are needed in
California for railroad work, for the
mines, for crop gathering and for recon
structfng San Francisco. Anybody who
really wants to work can have his de-
sire gratif1ed in this state.-Los Ange l-ss
Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

Even for those who Ike theirs hot.
New York is a summer resort of sur-
passing quality.-New York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
THE OLD AND THE NEW.

The man VINO gives up Inc nOTnIlg
paper foregoes. reading news y TO "A
hours old. The man who gives up his
afternoon paper loses the news fresh
as 1t appens-Memphis News cimi-
tar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

Unless Roger Sullivan goes Mr..
BRYAN will refuse to play in the Illinois
game.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

The Dis De Bar woman IS coming
over. probably to Ill the place left va
cant BY Mrs. Chadwick
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

America having stopped the slaughter
in Guatemala, isn't It about time that
America stopped the slaughter on its
own grade crossings New York Mail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
THE WINNING HABIT.

Senator CulIom of Illinois has such a
habit of winning that political victory
never surprises him. = Philadelphia
Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
EROM OTHER PENS
PARTIY SUSTAINED.

So Plat and OdeH have formed IAN
offensive and defensive alliance of
fensive," sure Observation-Disclosures SEN
tinel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

The mint report on the worlds gold
production win show. it is said at Wash
nston, that something like 1926, 900, 900
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
CHORT

"short 100000 says the headline
in a recent daily paper Huh! That's
nothing. We're shorter than that
We're short a million.-Minneap
Better Way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
KANSAS CONAENT


RAILROADS ARE PROSPEROUS.
The agitation for the control Of
freight rates. and the passage of the
Hepburn law by the last congress does
not appear to be exerting that dis
astrous influence on the railroad bust
ness the country had been led to be-
1eVe might happen If 'unwise legisla-
ton was attempted. There has been
more buncoTnbe talk about injuring
the railroads since the agitation for the
control of freight rates commenced,
than has been heard in this country
Tor many years. It has been made to
appear that all who favored the pas
sage of laws to compel the railroads to
do the fair and decent thing, were
nothing much short of train wreckers.
to say nothing OF train robbers The
widest predictions were made as to
the evil effect the Hepburn measure
would have on the railroad interests,
but that the roads are not suffering
from the movement is evidenced by
the weekly letter published by Henry
Clews, the well known Wall street au-
thOrity. He says: Railroad pros
perity continues phenomenal, each day
furnishing fresh evidence in the form
of good reports. During the six months
ending June 80. 1906, earnings We're
reported for 1900 miles, or IS per
cent of the entire country, aggregat-
ing $941, 100000. This was an in
crease of over IA per cent, the largest
rate of gain since 1900, when the in
crease was slightly below IA per cent"
-Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
A BANTAM LESSON.

There's little bantam hen in the
yard at our house that goes around
singing from early morning until time
to go to roost. She's little bit of
Rocks tell her she isn't $50 many,
but just the same, she laid out her
Laying" raised a family and now her
air, as she walks about among the
other chickens. fnpresses one with the
conviction that "Bantie'' has done her
part The lesson to US humans is this
after we have done all the good we
can, in all the ways we can, to all the
people we can. we have cause to be
happy Minneapolis Better Way
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
TOM cHARLEs. OPINION.


Last week the Concordia Kansan
contained an article on the moral eff
feet that Kansas state university
education has on a man, and indirectly
upon the state We have been think
ing about that article ever since we
saw 1t and we felt somewhat sorry that
the writer could not have had per-
sonal acquaintance with the man Of
men at the state university. The man
who fights the students battles, who
lives with them and for them and one
of them. The heart of the institution,
the man who exemplifies the little
poem of Eugene Wares. 1.-THE hearts
will forever be winning as hearts have
ever won" You who have ever at
tended K. q. or had the glorious
privilege Of having boy attend there,
know who we mean. Other men are
better instructors, others get their
names into the scientific magazines
more frequently, others are better
known in Germany and among the
educators of the east but in the hearts
of the K. L. boys there is only one
whose memory is ever fresh. Only one
to whom they each would turn in
trouble, the one above all others who
has taught manhood first and law and
sciences afterward, he is Uncle Jimmie
Green the prince Of men, kindheart-
ed, conscientious, dear old Jimmie
Green and in this we voice the senti-
ments Of hundreds of K. u boys and
girls-Belleville Freeman
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

Nell-In Turkey a girl never sees her
husband until she is married.
Beue-HoW funny. In this country she
never sees him Overwhelmingly
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

Comparative Stranger-What's all this
excitement about?
Summer Boarder-Nothing just a lynch
ing The man who wrote the folders de-
scribing this place is coming down on the
train.-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

IN Australia there is said to be 2 reg
ular traffic IN lending engagement riSss."
THAT might do in Australia. but in the
United States engagement rings don't
come back. Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

Friend-Your little boy promises to be a
very Chesterfield in politics
Riter-Yes; I'm bringing him up on the
rejection slips the editors send mex
change.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

Since that actress married a society
man she sits up nights worrying for fear
somebody will talk about her.
Yes, and before she was married she
sat up nights worrying for fear they would
not''-Detroit Free Press.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-08-23

II It was a public scandal u go to
hurch, pew tickets would sell Tor $40
sermon
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-08-23
LABOR DAY, SEPTEMBER 3.
23.Gt
Unnecessary Expense.

Acute ATTACKS OF collie and dlarr
hoea come on without warning and
prompt relief must De obtained. There
IS no necessity OF iucurring the ex
penses of physicians ser
vice in such cases II Chamberlain
Collie. Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy
Is at hand. a dose Of this remedy W
relieve the patient before a doct
could arrive. It has never been kno'
to fail. even in the most severe
dangerous eases and no family shot
be without f. For sale by F. y Ram
sey. W. g. Frame. Ardmore Drug Co.
Bonner & Bonner.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-08-23

works wonders. II produces hair Just
as surely as rain and sunshine raise
crops. 10 produces a thick growth OF
duXuriaut hair when all other rene.
dies fail. We guarantee Danderiue.
All druggists sell Il. 25c. soc and $t.O0
per bottle. To prove It's worth. send
this ad with 10 cents in stamps or sil.
yer and We will mail YOU a large free
sample. knowlton Danderiue Co.. Chi
caEo. I'D.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-08-23

We have in very fine lint 81 1s3g~
buggies and are making The Vr5ras
and terms attractive. Cali io. soe2l
through our stock and get our lNrirsgs
before you buy.
NOBLE gJI1E
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-08-23
Emotional Insanity.

By Associated Press.
New York. Aug pa decision was
reached today by attorneys for Harry
H.. Thaw to use a plea Of emotional
insanity for the defendant at the trial
for killing Stanford White.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-08-23

Constitutional District vu,.rG. Ei-ury
Of Indian Territory now ~ctIs. ARR
shows all towns. railroads. -losgfur
township lines. with constitutions tsss-
tricts outlined IN colors Rrucw- -
cents. T. X. SIMWCaNs
Iowa Bu,idfuT
1C4 Nuskosrl
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-08-23

Suits. all wool. tailor made tiVm
$40 up; pants 50 up.
l91m y. y. STu.FtC