davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
H.. Tim SpelIacy's Idea.
How British Civil Service Wastes Money.
FROM A STAFF CORRESPONDENT

would speedily cause the bankruptcy
of the biggest commercial industry on
earth
The late Charles Marvin wrote a
book about his experiences in various
Government departments. Things have
not changed bit since; the system
is the same, and it inevitably produces
the same type of barnacle-the man
who sticks to his job and tries to do
as little work as he can. for the sal
ary he draws from the public treasury
That's Arnold Whites story of how $500
was lost and won proves.
Marvin, after being assigned to
which he was appointed. was given
book of statistics full of tiny addition
sums to operate on. 'I was as green
as grass respecting the barnacle sys-
tenn of How not to do it. he says,
"and fell upon the rows of tots with
the same vigor that had been drilled
into me seven years previously by the
warehouse hands in Waiting street.
On raising my head half an hour after
ward I discovered every barnacle, ex-
cept the senior. staring at me with
eyes expressive of the deepest aston
ishment and pity
Suddenly there fell on his book a
slip of paper on which was written:
"A mods as good as a wink to a blind
horse-don't work too hardr
Still he kept at it. Another flake
upon his book: why work so desper-
ately hard? Nobody works here"
Stimulated by the prospect of some day
becoming Secretary of State for the
Colonies, or autocrat of the Foreign
Office, he continued to peg away at the
task that had been set him. In a few
minutes angry voice sounded in his
ear, For Gods sake, man, don't work
like that; you'll have the whole office
against you and you won't do yourself
a bit of good"
II had no desire" he says, ito incur
the enmity of my colleagues so soon
after entering the public service, and
sundry passages in Little Dorrit' hav-
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

ing risen i'm my mind began to look
about me. Thus I learned my first les
son in How not to do it. I began to
look about me. I have since discovered
that to look about one, and to daily
grumble at the parsimony of a stingy
public are the chief two occupations of
the Governments Barnacles.T
Ministries come and ministries go,
but thes ystem remains and the barna-
cles stick This man and that man is
put at the head of a department and
hidden to reform it. But no one, how
ever efficient and hard working him
self can get work done well. expedi-
tiously and economically BY hacks who
have been trained only to shirk work.
Powerless to get rid of them and re-
place them with men who have been
trained to give a good days work for a
good days pay, he inevitably makes a
failure of the reforming Job. 1t was a
reformed" financial branch of the War
Office, that made such an awful mess of
the South African war stores business.
When John Bull reads of corruption
in America he wakes proud and
naughty over the superior honesty of
his public service. Well, perhaps there
isn't so much here of the American
brand of graft. But appointing three
or four incompetent men to do one
mans work and overpaying them for 1t
is form of graft that in the long run
costs the taxpayer a deal more than
the graft that consists in plain stealing.
War Office salaries today are higher
by more than $1.O00.0o0 year when
the soldiers are only 100000 than they
were in 1sO2-03. when the number of
soldiers was $4,000. The navy, owing
to the wedding out of obsolete vessels,
numbers 131 fewer ships today than in
1904. but there are now fifty more
clerks and officials employed at the ad-
miralty than there were then.
And still John Bull can't see that 1t
is his precious barnacle system which is
responsible for the continuously in
creasing waste OF his money.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
From a star correspondent


r ONDoN. Sept 1-The literary
agent. who was recently so saw
Iagely assailed in a magazine ar
ticle by Henry Holt. the Aneri-
can publisher. has found an able
champion in David Christie Muir
ray. the well-known novelist. Mr..
Holt described the agent as "a very
serious detriment to literature and a
leech upon the author" The business
of the literary agent. Mr.. Murray says.
lis to see that the author receives his
fair and proper share of the product of
wanted he would never have arrived.
The publishers themselves have made
him a necessity.
How" he asks. can a literary agent
be a serious detriment- to literature
unless he exercises some deteriorating
influence upon the quality of the work
done by his clients, and in what re-
spect can he do that in which the pub
Usher does not do the same? So far
from the literary agent being detri-
A4NAeDi ~ AASOA otuAC uC 10 q A4Oob us
tinct aid to the production of his cli-
ents' best. inasmuch as he relieves him
of the harassing necessity of chatter
ing for his own wares. And quite
apart from that the writer of books is
safer in the hands of a man whose in
terests are everywhere coincident with
his own than he is in the hands of one
whose pecuniary position is adversely
affected by every penny he unavoidably
makes over to the author. Even If no
publisher in the trade was too anxious
to strike a good bargain in his own
behalf the agent would be worth his
fee."
NECESSITY FORCES WORK.
Mr.. Murray has no sympathy with
the lamentations that are sometimes
raised over what is termed the com
mercialization of literature" There is
hardly any more offensive cant IN the
world than that which pretends that
real literature is not produced for
money" he says. ~Much of the great
est would have been left undone if
there had been no money to be got out
of 1t. The sharp tooth of necessity
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
Novelist Murray in Defense of the
Literary Agent.

gnaws the man of genius until 1t drives
him to his desk He would often De
wei content to let his great thoughts
escape in talk. or to dream his dreams
in silence But he has Abbotsford TO
make into feudal mansion. and we get
the Waverly Novels. or he has his old
mother TO bury. and he turns out .Ras-
selas.' Does anybody suppose lazy
Goldsmith would have given US The
Vicar of Wakefield if he had seen no
potential coats and ruffes and bowls
of punch in quiIls and ink and paper?
The money doesn't make genius. but IL
calls it Quit makes it from its easy
armchair. it puts 1t on it's mettle.
Thackaray wrote Vanity Fair as
Shakespeare wrote Hamlet-in the
way of business. Money leaves no taint
on these achievements. any more than
it does anywhere else on sincere
work"
LITERATURE IN ADS.
Several authors in these days combina
literature and commerce. and apparentN
ly get quite as much satisfaction from
the money they make from the latter
as they derive from the earnings of their
pens George r. Sims wrote many hair
raising thrilIers in the shape of melo-
drama bsfore he thought out his recipe
for his hair restorer. There may be a
connection between the two. but. at all
events. "Tatcho" has brought its in
ventor a comfortable fortune. which is
added to yearly. if one may judge by
the costly advertisements which appear
in the papers A few years ago 'John
Strange Winter wrote a recipe for re-
thatching bald heads. and promptly
placed it on sale under the name OF
Hair Food" which. according to ad-
vertisements. may be obtained from
her publishers" This is a combination
of literature and commerce with ven-
geance Sir Gilbert Parker is one OF
the busiest men in the world of COM
merce. and this. perhaps, is the reason
why so little has been heard of him
lately by the reading public. The
picture postcard trade is adorned by the
presence of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
who is a director of Messrs- Raphael
Tuck & Sons. and takes an active part
in the management of its big business.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
RESTORE THE SIDEWALKS.

downtown property desirous of
business their neighbohood they than
hitherto making their Shops accessible It
nearly five months since the fire there are still no CON
tnuous sidewalks Market adjoining toroughfars
The roadway which people driven filthy deep in
mud after and by dust dry should
be remembered that do the shopping household and
obvious that the downtown tooughfare impossible for
them Not the sidewalks condition
but the roadway invaded places by piles and
mortar and Junk that there no for maintaining men
who continue these distractions doing themselves and their
neghbors
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
/. In the Joke World.

A street preacher In West of Scot
land town complained to a passing po-
liceman about being annoyed by part
of the audience, and asked him to re-
move the obnoxious ones. "Weel yee
see, replied the cautious officer. l"it
would be a hard job for me tae spot
them; but I'll tell ye what I'd dae II
were you" What would you do?"
eagerly inquired the preacher. Just
ga round wi the hatr-Tit Bits.
He had crossed her and she was in a
dangerous mood.
"See!'' she hissed. pointing her finger
at him, "see how you have worked up
my feelings. Why. I am purple with
rage"
But the young man only smiled
SO becoming he unused, softly.
What is becoming, sir?"
Why, the purple. 1t just matches
that purple waist you have on"
And the next moment she was all
smiles and telling her girl friends that
George was the cleverest chap in the
world.-Vancouver World.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
TRIMNED THE DOCTOR.

North Carolina doctor, inclined to
be mindful of other peoples business.
was riding along country road. He
drew up where a native was husking
corn.
You are gathering yellow 'corn?'
said the doctor.
Yes, sir; planted that kind" came
the reply.
Won't you get more than half a
crop?' volunteered the physician.
Don't expect to, SIR; planted it on
half shares"
The doctor was somewhat nettled at
this and replied:
You must be mighty near fool"
Yes. sir; only a fence between US"
Human Life
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
DUTY on THE HARBoR coMMIssIoN.

D. r. RAGAN Health Officer of the city, attention
to the condition created stoppage sewer
outlets the front He that as these one
ngs are on State property they should be by the
Harbo Commission President Spear that body understood to
dcam responsibility the part the We feel sure that
further consideration Nlr Spear his colleagues eced
from this position
IS obvious that the condition
continue The State in the position any property
maintaining nuisance the duty State to remove
TINS pubic danger at Its own cost There considerable
population employed the front they to pro-
lection.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
THE UNHAPPY KNoCKER.

That was great game in Boston
the twentyfour inning one"
Yes. But 1 know what would have
happened if they had played it here"
"What?"
One of our chronic kickers would
have got up when they reached the
twentieth inning and asked If he wasn't
entitled to a rain check in case the
game was called on account of dark
ness."-Cleveland Leader.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

TALKING BIRDs-subscriber. CITY
The popular belief that a bird can he
taught to talk IL its tongue is slit ia
one Of those ancient popular absurait,as
that probably will never be eradicatad
What It arose from it is impossible to
discover Some birds. 1t Is true. have
divided tongues. but these are NOT
speaking birds. such as the parrot iack-
daw' raven. hooded crow and marp,.
The parrot. only some varieties. ~.
most successful of all birds in imttat,n~
the speech of man. has a broad. tb,cs-
race
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

The campaign which resulted in the
election of William Henry Harrison
"Tippecanoe and Tyler. too'-lasted
thirteen months. and so far is the
longest Presidential campaign on rec
ord. But Mr.. Bryan has commenced
his campaign more than twenty-six
months before the date when he is to
be elected Observation-Disclosures
Record.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
AS to Bryan.

In his speech in Madison-square Gar
den Mr.. Bryan irrevocably committed
himself. and strove TO commit his party.
not merely to a glaring blunder in ex-
pediency and strategy. but to virtu-
ally complete surrender OF Democracy's
vital and sacred principle.-New York
Sun.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
THE MAKING OF a spEEcH.

When Theirs was President of the
French republic he was about to issue
some important manifesto. and sub
mitted the draft to comical friend.
Yes" said the critic, "the matter is
clearly expressed. bus l miss the ease
and f1uency OF your usual style"
All" replied Theirs. Il have not
worked those in yet! The ease will
cost me much labor, and the fiuency 1
shall have to drag In by the hair of its
ead."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

Bryan is too conservative for the
radicals and too radical for the con-
servatives. His strongest day before
the people was spent by him some
where in midocean- A man who talks
readily doesn't need to write book to
join the preserves on rne shelf.-Pasa-
dena News.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

Colonel Bryan has been fooled by
popular demonstrations several times
in his career. but he thinks the present
one must certainly be the real thing
And yet 1T is only the rallying of
minority party around It's unsuccessful
leader.-Kansas City Journal.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

However. it was quite a drop for Mr..
Bryan when. after hobnobbing with
Kings and Kaisers. he was called a
liar by a person named Sullivan in
nlinois.-Milwaukee Sentinel
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

One of the Republican nominees. for
Governor of Texas is named Grav and
another is named Green The color
scheme. however, includes also white
and bIack.-San Antonio Express.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

There is scarcely any discord In the
Democratic party."-Ben Tflman.
Brother Ben lives a long way from
New York.-Brooklyn Times.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

An influential Republican paper In
New York (the SUM says:
The next Governor of the state, of
New York will be Democrat
The next Governor of the State Of
New York will be the next President Of
the United States.
An equally influential Democrats
paper in New York (the world) says:
No Democrat viii be elected Governor
Of New York this year.
The next President of the United
States will not be a Democrat.
And this seems to leave the reader
who is looking for information about
where he was at first---RIcAmond Times
Dispatch.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

Townsends Cal. glace fruits and can
dies at Emporium. Post and Van Ness
and 1903 and 1920 Valencia street.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

by one of her old employers. Her
little shanty was very small, consisting
of three rooms.
We'll. Sallie." began her caller. IT
have not seen you for many years.
but have come to ask you to do
some house-cleaning for me. VIII you
come tomorrow"
'Oh. no. missus." replied the other,
I can't come any mo-; Use married
an has large family. can't come"
How many children have you. Sal
lie?"
Twelve, num-"
Where are theys don't see any
about.
'Ya'sum. I have twelve--eleven in
heaven and one in de house of refuge"
Detroit Journal.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

INTEREsT-A. o. s. City. Money AZ
simple interest. s per cent. will double
itself in sixteen years and eirht
months. and at compound interest in
eleven years and three hundred ara
twenty-seven days
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
FAMILY TO CARE FOR.

sallie, negress. noted for being an
excellent worker. was visited one day
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

Look at Carlo. how carefully he is
holding his umbrella over his wife"
What affection
Yes. he told me yesterday that he
paid coo francs for that gown LA
Caricaturista-
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
Answers to Queries

CHINESE NJ. wheatland. Cal
The Chinese were not removed by the
authorities of San Francisco after the
April fire to any place. They went OF
their own free Will to whatever point
they chose.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
Men and Politics.

Cannon buys 400 acres and challenges
Fairbanks for the farmer vote.-Boston
Transcript.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16
WILL iT COME TO TH1ss

WILL IT COME TO THIss
The policeman eyed the man on the
street corner with disappearing
frown.
See here" he growled. didn't I
hear you ask that man for a dollar?"
Yes"
And you have asked others for the
same amount?"
Many others"
Then I'll have to run you in as a
common beggar.'
The man on the corner glared wildly.
Run me In! Common beggar. I
guess not! Do you know what I am?
I'm chairman of one of the great ma
tfonal committees. and I'm making up
my campaign fund. Can't I get a
dollar out of your"
But the officer hastily moved along.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

Missourfs desire to be shown was
never more apparent than in its in
vitatiou to both Secretary Shaw and
Governor Cummins to take part in the
Republican campaign in that State
Omaha Bee
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

Professor, Garner has been talking
to monkeys in the wilds of Africa for
three years. and they do not seem to
have told him anything worth report
ing. He might have talked with plenty
of equally intelligent men without
leaving home--Philadelphi Inquirer.
Mr.. Roosevelt has been credited with
an ambition to send to jail the first
railroad president that deliberately
violated certain sections of this law.
Undoubtedly he would as soon begin
with George F. Baer as with any other
man in the United States.-New York
World.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

The fnsistence of the original Bryan
reception committee that there be no
politics in it shows a remarkable ts-l
norance of what the guest of honor in
tended it for.-St. Louis Post-Dis-
patch
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-16

ORE apd the of the country being turned
the great game that being played railroads. The
V concerned that porentous struggle hold the public
than any group. because of the
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1906-03-14
Yneal amb Dersonal.

WAGONS +. E. lssss Alexander, % Waihalia.
To morrow (Thursday) is the last
day for paying State and county taxes.
Get your tickets for the Southern
Trio aud Mart King.
Sterling silver and gold novelties In
jewelry. Walhalla Drug Co.
Reserved seats, only fifty cents, for
the Southern Trio and Mart King.
Southern Trio and Mart King at the
Court House next Tuesday night, March
Goth.
kerosene oil only 10c. per gallon
March 10th and 18th. Only one gallon to a
customer Craig Werner Mercantile Co.
Mrs. Kate Lewis, of Walhalla, is in
Greenwood as the guest of Miss Addie
latham.
-Milch cows and young calves for sale.
Apply to j. E. Hoops, near Poplar
Springs.
Sec the fertilizer advertisement of
G. w. Gignilliat.
Douglas Seaborn left last week for
Selma, Ala, where lie expects to remain
for some time.
Rev. d. p. Bearden will preach at
Red Hill school house on the fourth SUu-
day in this month at III o'clock.
--Norman's for shirt waists and skirts,
ladies and children's shoes, hosiery.
-Lenten sermon in the Lutheran
church Sunday. Subject of sermon:
THE Souls Rest" Services English
For Sale-Househol goods, stock,
chickens, etc. Apply to Mrs. j. Il.
Hughes, Faculty Hill, for particulars and
prices.
Oar tailor will be with us, Thurs
day and Friday, the 18th and 10th, to
make your summer suit
G.. w. IL j. T.. Bauknight.
Next Sunday at IL a. IN. and D. m.
Rev. X. ii. Jones. presiding elder, of An
derson, will preach in the Walhalla
Methodist church.
Rev. John G.. Law will preach at
Fairview at o'clock a. m. and at Ebe-
neZer at p. m. next Sabbath. All cor
daily invited to attend and take part in
these services.
C. w. G.. soluble guano has for the
last eight years exceeded the guaranteed
analysis by 2l.9 per cent, thereby saving
our customers S4.73 per ton.
G.. w. Gignilliat.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1906-03-14
THE NEWS FROM SENECA.

Seneca, March 13.-There will be the
usual services in the Presbyterian and
Methodist churches next Sabbath at the
morning hour, after which, at the Metho-
dist church, holy communion will be ad-
ministered. In the afternoon at O'Clock
and at o'clock at night, DR.. Taylor will
deliver the lectures at the Presbyterian
church as hitherto announced.
Our people are anticipating with great
interest the lectures of DR.. 4. o. Taylor,
which will begin on Thursday night at
the Presbyterian church. 1t is hoped to
make these occasions bright and attrac-
tive with music programs at each lecture.
The choir will be selected from the sew
eral churches and practice will begin this
evening after prayer service at the Meth
odist church.
A notably recherche affair was the
meeting of the Once-a-Week Club last
week with Mrs. Elias Earl. When the
regular business prog am was finished, a
four course luncheon was served. Fol-
lowing is the menu, which the enthusi-
astic and appreciative members enjoyed ::
Chicken pats with beaten biscuit, tomato
jelly with mayonaise dressing and pickle,
orange baskets filed with ambrosia,
served with white and chocolate cake,
coffee, and capdied ginger. Many were
the expressions of appreciation from the
members who were privileged to be pres
ent at this charming meeting.
j. III. Adams e Co. are adding to their
business a handsome new line of milli-
merry. A room is being fitted up on the
second floor of his establishment and
will be made attractivewith fresh new
millinery. The milliner, Miss Lille
Jackson, is directly from tho Drew -Sulli-
van Co., the largest milliners in New
York, and comes highly recommended
by this house. The line of millinery is
extensive and thoroughly up-to-datc.
The dates for the spring opening are not
yet set, but it will be about the first of
the next month. We bespeak a liberal
share of patronage for this new depart
ment of an old and reliable firm.
The m Getting of the Civic Improvement
Association at the residence of Mrs. Z
A. Hines last Friday afternoon WAS we'll
attended and the report from the finance
committee was most encouraging and
gratifying. Our citizens responded libe-
rally and a nice sum is in the treasury
for the purpose of improving the ceme
terry, the special line of work for the
present. Following is a clipping from q
| Greenville paper, the sentiment Of which
was heartily adopted by the members:
MUNICIPAL LEAGUE.
The Greenville Municipal League urges
the adoption of the following resolutions
by every family in the city:
I. We will have no dirty back OF front
yards about our homes, and we will, by