The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1906-07-26
Three Old Maids
and q Widow
by c. g. LEWIS
Copyright, 1906, by M. NJ. Cunningham

mere are Jew towns OF LOU DOpu-
lation that can boast of three old maids
and widow living on the same street,
but that was the case with Clifton.
Miss Vinton was an old maid because
she never had met with a man good
enough for her. Miss Hopkins was an
old maid because the young man she
would have married at eighteen was
sawed in two in a sawmill and she had
vowed to be true TO his memory. Miss
Warner was an old maid because she
was determined to marry none but a
minister, and all the ministers who
came were already provided for. The
Widow Carter was a widow because
part of a house had fallen on her hus-
band
The old maids and the widow were
on visiting terms-in fact, they rather
liked each other. Where there are no
male candidates for matrimony con-
cerned old maids and widows can sit
down together on the same veranda
without Quarreling. After the widow
had solemnly assured the old maids
that nothing on the face of this earth
could induce her to be false to the
memory Of her crushed, the quartet
loved each other even more.
One day one of the merchants in the
town sold out and, a stranger came to
take his place. If he had been mar
rted man the dove of peace would have
continued to hover over Rose street,
but as he was single, only thirty and
ai,pp H,0H
ahead.
The widow let no grass grow under
her feet in calling at the store and in
cidentally mentioning her name and or
dering four pounds Of sugar all at
once. She was one Of the Four Hun
dred of the town, and on the part of
the other 800 she babe Mr.. Strong well
come to their midst When he had
thanked her she ordered two nutmegs
and a paper of starch, in addition to
the sugar, to let him understand that
she wasn't obliged to pinch pennies,
and then departed.
An hour later her reprehensible con-
duct was known to the three old maids,
and up went three pairs of hands; six
eyes were turned upward in horror and
three mouths opened to exclaim in cho-
rus, Glow shockingp'
Then during the next two days, each
of the old maids made an excuse to
call at the store and follow the pro-
gramme carried out by the widow
Each thought she was sly and slick,
but they found each other out, and
from that oor1f no Of frio
ship snapped asunder like an old
clothesline left out in the storms Of a
year.
When women make war on each 9th
er they don't use fence rails to pound
each other on the head In most cases
they go right on treating each other as
nicely as they can to their faces, but
using daggers and the darkness to as
sassinate. The three old maids and the
widow gathered together as Of yore,
but the dagger was used whenever
there was the least show.
Mr.. Strong proved a social success.
The widow gave a little dinner and
brought him out, but the old maids
really monopolized him for the even
ing. Then Miss Warner gave an eXhi-
bitiOn OF her own paintings, which con-
sisted OF a cow apparently thirty-siX
feet long and of a river running up
stream instead of down, and the wild
ow held Mr.. Strong's attention for an
hour while she talked about her crush
ed and departed
At the end of six weeks the man who
ran the Sawmill and had a mortgage
on the mill dam figured it out to his
wife:
'"There are three old maids to one
widow, but if the widow gets left she'll
be the first one Lever heard Of"
Even the small boys around town no.
ticed how girly the old maids were be-
coming. They giggled, they uttered
cute little screams when they turned a
corner and found themselves face to
face with a cow, they Uttered when
they asked for gum drops at the gro
Gerry. AS for the widow, she set her
jaw and walked into the store two or
three times week to ask the mer-
chant if he thought the Seventy sew
enth National bank of Boston was per-
fectly sound and to sigh with relief
when he assured her Of his confidence
in the institution. Sly reports were
soon af1oat that Mr.. Strong was paying
his attentions to this or that one Of the
four. Then the other three would reply
as one:
well, may be he is, but what on
earth he can see in her is more than I
can make out She grows more home
~ and dOwdified every day. OF course
I'm telling you this in confidence. and,
Of course, it won't go further"
One fatal evening tragedy after trag-
edy happened, and the light went out
Of several happy households. Mr..
Strong boarded with family living
half a mile from the store. He wanted
the walk. He had to cross the bridge
over the river and ascend a hill COW
cred with woods, and there wasn't a
house between his boarding place and
the town.
The three old maids and the widow
had had fhaip nunc on rood FROM,