davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-24

ten cents worth Of brains in 1t. The
great writer's that come back cant
write no more, the singers can't sing
no more. The only class that seems to
retain their natural abilities after they re
dead is the grafters. AS soon as they
show up there's sOmethin' doin'. Freeze
on to your watch chain. But the 9TH
ers fail to deliver the goods. They tell
you that they're limited by the capaci-
ty Of the mediums; an the mediums is
dubs at everythin' except gatherin' in
the graft? You can search me. How Is
It in all these years we cant get hold of
q high class spoOk manipulation who CO
trot out one of these spiritualistic sp sci-
mems an set him down on a chai$ in
broad daylight so we can look him
over. If he can talk to you at eight
p. m, what's the matter with him doln'
a little listenin' at eight a. m. There
amt no crime in that
If you want to make a test of this
spook business just blow in with a pair
Of handouts to hold the spOok, an d
blackjack to persuade the gang regard
ing the beauties of the Delsarte dip
Slip one Of the bracelets on the ghost
boy an one on yourself. Then you
await developments. The chances Is
that that's where you need the black
Jack. You'll be able to notice, too, while
you're experimental that there amt
a spook in existence that won't sneeze
when he smells pepper. Some of 'em Is
used to hot stuff. We no doubt. but a
little cayenne generally manages to put
the seonce thing to the had.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-24

minutes to get that beefsteak out Of his
head. By the time I had done it did
not care what had for dinner. I took
pOt-du-jour and veal He added, on his
own initiative. a thing that looked like
a pOultice. ] did not try the taste Of
it, He explained it was plum poodin."
I fancy he had made 1t himself. This
fellow is typical; you meet him every
where abroad. He transla tes your bill
into English for you, calls ten cent1mes
penny, calculates twelve francs to
the mound and presses a handful Of sous
affectionately upon you as change for
a napoleon.
The cheating waiter is common in
all countries, though in Italy and Bel
gium he fiOurishes, perhaps, more than
elsewhere But the British waiter,
when he is detected, becomes surly--
does not take it nicely The Foreign
waiter is amiable about it-bears no
malice whatever. He is grieved may
be. at your language. but that is be-
cause he is thinking of you-the pos
sible effect of it upon your future To
try and stop you, he offers you another
four sous The story is told Of a
Frenchman who, not knowing the
legal fare, adopted the plan Of doing
out pennies to a London cabman one
at a time until the man looked salts
fed Myself I doubt the story. From
what I know of the London cabman /
can see him leaning down still, with
outstretched hand, the horse between
the shafts long since dead. the cab
chock full of coppers, and yet no ex-
preston of safety upon that cabman's
face But the story would appear to
have crossed the Channel, and to have
comm ended itself to the foreign walt
er; especially to the railway refresh
ment room waiter. He doles out CEN
times to the traveller, one at a time,
with the air of a man who is giving
away the savings of d lifetime. If,
after five minutes or so, you still ap-
pear Disconnected, he goes away, quite
suddenly. You think he has gone to
open another chest Of halfpence, but
when quarter of an hour has passed
and he does not reappear, you enquire
about him amongst the other walters.
+ A gloom at once falls upon them. You
have spoken of the very thing that had
been troubling them. He used to be a
waiter here once-one might almost
say until quite recently. As to what
has become Of him, all there you
have them. If in the course Of their
lcheckered career, they ever come
tacross him, they will mention to him
I that YOU are waiting for him. Mean
while. a stentorian voiced official is
shouting that your train is on the point
iof leaving. You console yourself with
the reflection that it might have been
more. It always might have been
more; sometimes 1t is.
A waiter at the Care du Nord in
I Brussels. on one occasion pressed upon
me q five franc piece. q small Turkish
coin the value Of which was unknown
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-24

this sort of thing can lead to trouble.
One waiter I met at hotel in Dion
knew very little English-about as
much as a poll parrot. The moment
entered the sale a manger he started
to his feet, "Ahl You English" he
cried well, what about us7" I an
swered 1t was during the period Of
the Boer war. I took it he was about
to denounce the English nation gener-
ally. I was looking for som ething to
throw at him. you English-you
Englishman, yes?' he repeated, and
then understood he merely In
tended a question. I owned up that I
was, and accused him Of being a
Frenchman He admitted It. Intro
thought I would order dinner. or
dered It in French. am not Dragging
of my French; never wanted to learn
French. Even as a boy, it was more
the idea of others than Of myself. I
have learnt as little as possible; but I
have learnt enough to live in places
where they can't, or won't talk anv-
thing else. Left to myself, could
have enjoyed a very satisfactory dim
journey, and hungry. They cook we'll
at this hotel; had been looking for
ward to my dinner for hours and
hours. had sat down in my magma
ton to a consomme bisQue, sole au
gratin. a poulet saute, and an omelette
au fromage.
It is wrong to let ones mind dwell
upon carnaI delights, 7 see that now. At
the time I was mad about Il. The fool
would not even listen to me. He lad
got 1t into his garlic-sodden brain that
all Englighnen live on beef and nothing
but beef. He swept aside all my sug-
gestions as though they had been the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-24
W. DEVERY r:
Taxes Up the Subject Of SpookS and Wonder,
Why the Great american People Still
Insist on Being g Conned.''e

copyright. 1906. BY Central News Press Exchange)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-24

don't round EN- ali up an COLOMBO
EN- is more than I can figure out.
There is three natural requisites for
a well managed spook shop-a frozen
face. a far-away look an a copper
fastened nerve. If you have a little
coin to fit up the trap doors an these
other things on the side, you can de-
liver the goods. You can hand out
your bull con an there won't be no
one to say a word to you. You see
when the great intelligent public files
in, they're all ready to swallow the
bait Here an there you'll find a guy
sittin' in Missouri Row, but they're on
to him He's sittin' in the middle of
the gang IF he starts in with any
disturbance they're ready to paste his
nut off. The spirits gets angry.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-24

UST how it is that so many peo-
PIE stands for this spiritualistIe
con is more than I can figure
out. You'd think with the
newspapers shown up fake
games every day that the people
would get on. But they don't You
can sell gold brick today just as well
as you ever could. All that's been writ
ten about the system only serves to ad-
more plentiful every year Men as a
bunch is jays. AS individuals they may
have CLEANS of human intelligence, but
get EN- in a crowd an they don't have
course, as I've explained before, you
can't find no bigger jays nowhere than
you can I'm Moo York. We have the pick
Of the universe here. If you look the
game over you'll see that every man
that's on top in Moo York comes from
out of town. The real MOO Workers is
wnrkin for him. That's why they're
great
The great beauty about the native
MOO Yorker is that he's steady. He
starts life that way. When he goes to
school he stays in the same class for
seven years. He'd stay there eight only
every now an then the PAINTERS comes
around an paints a moo number on the
class door. Then he goes up one. You
gee he don't have to worry about learn
that's all there is to it. There amt
nothin more to know. When he grad
yates he's ripe for anythin' They've
taught him plain SEWN in the public
schools. an he's ready for his debew.
Hes the real simon pure. cheese. Talk
about bein all wool an a yard wide.
there's nOthin to it That's out of date.
He's all cotton an six inches narrow
You see the real reason the Moo York
ers stands for so many cons is that
they're progressive. That's their spec
ialty helm progressive. Boston folk can
go ahead. Chicago people can think they
80 ahead, but there's nothing to it,
There amt nothin' nowhere in the world
that figures up with MOO York as a
progressive proposition. IF you don't
believe 1t. ask a Moo Yorker. He'll tell
you. What's more. if you don't believe
him, it's proof of what he says. You
amt progressive enough to understand
Moo Workers is progressive in everythin
They're progressive in their work,
they're progressive in their play. They're
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-24

progressive when it comes to public i'm
provemeats, an progressive when it
comes to religion There's progressive
whist parties on Mondays an Thurs
days. progressive euchre parties on
Toosdays an Fridays, an progressive
divorce parties on Wednesdays an Sat
urdays. Sundays is used to attend to
the moo religion. Noe Workers has moo
religion every three or four weeks. AS
a matter Of fact. there's so many re-
ligions now that a guy hates to make
g start for Heaven for fear he'll get on
to the wrong car an get left at the post
1t don't matter what you think, or what
you have a notion for. There's a re-
liglon to ft it, Just now it's the spirit
ualistic game that has the floor. OF
course the whole thing s a result of
supply an demand. Here an there it's
stand an deliver. but that don't cut no
figure.
But L want to tell you that this
spiritualistic fad has me faded
There's more dopes, cranks, an long
haired wonders fouowin' the game
than 1t would take to set up a moo
college for the study Of ethical cul-
ture. They're Twin wonders. WHAT'S
more, it's the same in every spook
factory you go to. I've looked into
the game an I know. Just why they
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-24

prattlings of a foolish child. s'You haf
nice biftek Not at all done. Yes?"
NO, I don't" answered. Il don't
want what the cook of a provincial
French hotel calls a biftek. I want
something to eat. I want Appar-
emily. he understood neitf er English
nor French. Yes, yes" he continued,
cheerfully, with pottitoes.'' with
what?" I said. I thought for the mo-
ment he was suggesting potted pigs
feet in the nearest English he could get
to it. "Pottitce." he repeated "bon
pottito. Yes? And pel hell Ifelt like
telling him to go there. I suppose he
meant pale ale It took me about five
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-24
Walters Z Have KnogUn
BY JEROME K. JEROME


fretful world. All things conspire to
aid him; the ancient joints. ranged side
by side like corpses IN q morgue. each
one decently hidden under It's white
muslin shroud. whispering OF death
and decay; the dish OF dead flies
thcughtfully placed IN the center OF the
table; the framed advertisements, ex-
toIling the virtues Of heavy beers and
stouts. o esweird champagnes. emanat-
ing from haunted-looktng chauteaux,
situate-if one may Judge from the
illustration-in the midst OF. desert
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-24

xeny long possible for
the hal w lgroNna and
9bundan
ycmagi ddndf inow
O
trcim
lcurean
iercide
IN o Dept Detroit for asampIe
"
FIpii Company Dh Ehign
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-24

Mrs. Buggins--Oh, saw the dearest
little hat today
MI, BuSsins--I hat just Ike you; al
ways looking for the dearest instead af
the cheapest. philadelphia Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-24

a well-preserved grandfather's clock.
conveys suggestion OF dignity and
peace He is huge, impressive per-
son. There enamates from him an at
mosphere OF louisiana. The other
wise unattractive room becomes an
oasis of repose amid the turmoil Of
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1906-02-02

s4sa tVASOSS ~ Il VI
The following u . synopsis lot
transactions ia the Probate Court
during the month OF January.
In the estate Of Margaret Thorn.
ton. decree Ut descent made. Z
License granted to sell real estate
in matter Of guardianshlp OF Ed
Heuerman. Ss- 5 IVA s "A n
In the estate OF Andrew q Lin.
gren; Laura o. Lingren and Mark
Graves appointed administrators.
In the estate of Mary Quinn, ap'
pilcation made for determination Of
descent. -~ 81.
:. In the estate of John T. Milton,
application for letters Of admins
trarion. e.
, In the matter of insanity Of Aug.
,Danielsop, examination and order
for commitment
Il In the estate Of Jas. Fl. Farahger,
date for hearing proof Of will ad-
journed.
Judge Cory, acting for Judge
Webber of Rock county, this week
made an order allowing final &C
count and final decree in the estate
of Leroy B. McCollum, deceased.
This was AL estate in which the
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1906-02-02
CREAM
BAKING
POWDER
I'm proves the flavor
and adds to the health
fulness of the food.

President Castro of Venezuela is
reported to have snubbed Mr..
Russell the American Minister.
Castro apparently wants to review
French and American battleships
at the same time.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1906-02-02

4 HAY wilbsfn u t,ibley ~ hsrs
Sunday visiting relatives.
u. ". Dealand q Org was ! bu ~
mess visitor in the city Monday.
Mrs. IN. e.. Fanck made q brief
visit TO Sioux Falls last Sunday.
4. Born-On Jan. 81, 1906, to Mr. n +.
and Mrs. e. L. Maxwell, q daughter.
John Rel lily and F. Shelquist OF
Wilmont were business visitors
in town Tuesday.
Z. Chas. Segerstrom returned last
week from Iowa, where he has spent
several weeks visiting old friends.
! o. 81. Hawkins Of Reading was in
the city Monday. He bought fine
set Of driving harness at Stitsers
harness shop. & 5
A. H. Segerstrom left last week
for North Dakota, where he is look
ing up a new Location in the mer-
camille business. - -. .zS 5
Mr.. Jas Mackay entertained
a number of gentlemen friends last
Fri day evening at a stage party.
All present report a pleasant time
The attention of our farmer
readers is called to the adv. Of +. Q.
Stitser, which appears elsewhere.
Mr.. Stitser is turning out some ex-
cellent work in heavy harness, and
deserves a liberal patronage.
The Rev. W. II. Knowlton, Arch
deacon for Southwestern Minnesota,
will hold service and preach in st.
Johns church Worthington, Sunday
Feb. 4th, at 1880 pm. Bishop 9 visit
for confirmation appointed for sun
day, March 18th. Everyone Y
cordially invited. ~ ~ ~.
: Amask social will be given Feb.
10, 1906, at tho Fitzgerald school
house Dist. No. LOG. Every lady
bring her own head mask also
supper for two. Every body come.
= Fannie Hinrirks. ~
Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. Devaney en-
tertained few friends Wednesday
evening at cinch party. Refresh
ments were served. Mrs. Sahlstrom
aud Mrs. Fialka of Bighelow were
among the guests. a. ID, n
J.. S. .Tolverson returned this
week from Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and
is assisting Banker Topper in his
work az chairman of the Time Lock
Committee of the Minnesota Bank
ers Association. ~
The following Worthington people
took dinner at the Worthington
Hotel last Sunday, r. K. Petit I.
NJ. Hickman and wife, /. P. Fox
and wife, 81. Hawley and wife, g.
R. Bishop and family, Il. Hobson
and family, T.. 4. Gholz and wife;
If you want apple trees at whole
sale, l can serve you by having your
order booked now. You pay for
trees when you get them in the
spring, but I cannot wait for your
order until time of planting. Call
or write for descriptive list Of
varieties with !; price. Kanaranzi
Nurseries, Adrian. Minnesota.
= For Rent-Residence: recently
vacated by Rev. Bronson. Call at
Meyers drug store for particulars.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1906-02-02
Rules in. Banking
] I

!, A Bank Depositor should al
J ways keep his Pass Book in his
} own custody except when left at
the bank to be posted.
In a bank as we'll as any
J other wei! regulated business I
there is a tine for every part of
our work and it is necessary that
things be done on time. The
I time for balancing pass books
} is at the close of each months I
business. Every depositor
/ should therefore leave his pass
| book the last day or two of the
month. II not left then they
cannot be 80 promptly balanced I
as the bank or its customers !
could wish. :
I. In Dep0sitiDg:
Always make out your own I
Deposit Slip then the Teller I
can check your items with the .
slip and more readily discover !
errors. See that the amount is
correctly entered in your pass ,
book. Always bring your book. 1
If forgotten always take a
duplicate "slip' Your deposits
or Savings account will be ,
APPRECIATED at the 1
Citizens National Bank
: Many low rate farm loans with
the option) and clerking auction :
sales has grown to be speciality [
:. with us. y ~
Respectfully
- ~ CITIZENS NATIONAL BANK. I
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1906-02-02
wifs "a JNdgs7W ebb6f was interest
"a, consequently the estate was pro-
hated il this county.
Marriage Licenses

Issued during the month Of Jan.
uary. "
J. g. Grey, Montana, to Clara
Olson, of Hersey. IT, .
b Fred p. Eich, Sioux County Iowa,
to Julia Wallace, Mobiles county.
Ernest B. Borst to Josephine NJ.
Schallers. 2.:r "a. 'fta
Peter Henley to Julia ;Berberger,
both of McCook county 3. D.
liver Brown of. Cavalier county,
North Dakota, at Lizzie Halifax.
The Humiston building on the
corner of 4th avenue and 10 street,
occupied by the Western Implement
Co. and Oliver & Madison, is being
raised and a stone foundation put
under it. W. Fl. Bloom is doing the
work.
There might be fewer assertions
in the army if the officers, by some
process of reasoning, could be led
to believe that the ''privates'' are
human beings.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1906-02-02

Mrs. J. P. Biltgen Of Wort hington.
/. The temperance lecture delivered
here Monday forenoon by Oliver
W. Stewart was fairly we'll attended
and was much enjoyed by all who
heard him. Mr.. Stewart is an elo-
auent and foroeful speaker and
handled his subject in q tactful
manner: *. r. g.. .~>.,.
: Orders for nursery stock must be
booked before time Of planting. II
you want good sound acclimated
trees, true to name and varieties
adapted to this locality, at wholesale
prices, send in your order now:
You pay for them when delivered
in the spring. 4 to SIT, trees, $50
per 1000; S to 6ft., $50 per 1000.
List giving description OF varieties
furnished on application. Kama
ranzi N Nurseries, Adrian, MINI.
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1906-06-15
Carson Cemetary Water Wards

Notice is hereby given that water
has been turned On at the Cemetary
and that no person in arrears will be
allowed the use Of water until the
amounts now due are paid
Patrons are further notified that it
is the intention Of the Trustees to
give a six months service this season,
instead OF five months as heretofore,
70 do this prompt payment by water
users will be necessary.
April q. 1906 GEO. w. KEITH
Secretary and Collector.
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1906-06-15
LIFE INSURANCE

That indus.' iors republican 1.
Sen Dryden of New Jersey, who Is al
50 president uf he Frn irl;'al Life
Insurance Conp1rr, is very rich. ana
ii > following exam lie Of bow he AZ
cnmulated his ra..H;sr.. should act AS
? warning to insrc.Is to examine The
contract in a Joii . before they sign
Mrs. Kate WrIgl.. Of 10. 40 East
9th street, NJ York has :'een pay
ing twenty five Cents 4 week for
fifteen years 81 a Pm lentjai poiict
that called for the payment of Sllo
when her mother died. She hes al
ready paid s195. and the insured still
survives. The poor woman is tired OF
paving and went into court with an
attempt to compel the issuing OF a
paid-up policy she claims the com
pany has turned a deaf ear to heI
as special favor offered to issue
paid-up policy for $50. although the
policy did not call for such a liberal
concession.
No wonder DRYDEN is rich and con-
trolls the republican party machine cI
New Jersey and can elect himself
United States Senator.
The Reno Gazette is calling upon
the county commissioners Of WashUa
to demand some adequate return for
q franchise asked by two companies
On the Beno-Virginia road
The contention Of the Gazette that
some valuable consideration should be
had by Washoe county for this fran
elise, no less than for all franchises,
is so well taken that it cannot be
disputed, except by Interested parties,
The day has pessed when a board Of
commissioners, ccuncjlmen OF any
othe. board OF public officials may
give away the right Of he people 10
control the highways. without running
afouI OF the just criticism. even wrath
Il the people.
Enterprise is all risht IN its way,
but il Is poor enterprise 10 give away
a right OF way for a period OF holt q
hundred years. in oraec 10 establish
some dinky resort. or 10 establish a
rev commercial highway, no matter
By whom it IS asked
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1906-06-15
Liberal OFFER.

I beg to advise my patrons that the
price Of disc records (eitheT Victor
or COlumbi2), to take effect inEe
diateIy, will be as follows until fuV
Their notice:
Ten inch disks formerly 10 cenFs
will be sold for 60 cents.
Seven inch records formerly soc,
now 35c. Take advantage Of this Of.
fer. c. ". FRIEND.
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1906-06-15
WHY THE HOUSE NON-CONCUR.
PEn

The senate made the rate bill APP
ply to the express companies AMI
private car lines. to Puilmans and
Standard Oil pipe lines, and gave the
railroads only three years time D
get rid of their toal mines. The
house refused TO concur in such novel
and unheard OF propositions. The
members OF the house want 10 retain
their seats and this they could never
hope 70 do II the railroads and ex-
press companies were really affected
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1906-06-15

by their votes. The power TO create
is the power to destroy, and since the
majority OF republican members OF the
house We're made such by the rail
of their creator. BY susDending the
rate bill between the two houses uE-
managers will be able to fry abund
ance OF fat out in the coming cleo
ton and they may have the gall TO
do it.
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1906-06-15

SALESMEN-Seu our $50 Soda
Fountains; make SO on every sale;
collect own commissions: act quick.
write for particulars.
J. 3. FOX & Co. La Sale St.
Chicago.
The daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1906-1907, 1906-06-15

Anything you want in the way 0.
nice pastry? Leave your order al
RICHARDSON'S
The independent., 1906-12-27
GREAT DEMAND
BEFORE PUBLISHED q

Mt. Pleasant, Tex.-I want q copy
or that book. Geo. M. Roberts.
Parsons, w. VAL notice that you
have published II book entitled The
Free Pass Bribery system and
ould like 10 read the same. Send
To me q copy and will return 10 you
price for same. j, l., Scott.
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copy OF your book. Please quote
me price. J. II. Yates.
Greenyille, Tcx.-Please send me
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same and viii send YOU the amount
II. q Gvans.
Royalton. Mimi Please find cnclos-
ed 81. 90 for The Free Pass Bribery
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Lisbon, O.-Whcn can / get your
book and whnt IL the priceY
w. q. Wells.
Northneld. MINI. Il desire TO obtain
copy OF your book j. ;. Trpp.
Bennett, Neb. Enclosed please find
si.0O In T.. o. tor The Free Pass Bri-
berry system" Gerhardt kolloster.
Minden. Neb,-icind enclosed s2.0o
one for your New Book" remain
der 20 apply on my subscription TO
The Independent. J.S. Canady,