The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1906-07-26
use and ABUSE or
TITLE GENERAL"
Some Of Absurd Uses to Which
Honorable AppeIlation
Is Submitted.
NANY AMUSING INCIDENTS
Nearly Every Assistant in the Various
Departments at Washington Is
Burdened With the
Title.
From the Wash!ngton star.

l. clll IN ~ I'ii A1
1.-THE American habit of alliXing mil
starry, judicial and honorary titles to
mems names has often been facetiously
commented upon" remarked a mem
Der of congress from Il northern state
10 a Star man, but / think we have
some OF the best samples Of the in
.congruity that l know OF outside of
Kentucky right here in Washington.
"Iil tell you of an amusing incident
that is, it seemed amusing to the
Sookcrs-on, il it was not to the partici-
pants. 1t was at q reception the other
might, at which were present many rep
r~esentatives Of the diplomatic, official,
army and navy circles. In u corner
of the room were half q dozen Of my
yellow workers in the house and some
army officers discussing arrny apprO-
priations. Two gentlemen joined US,
and the usual introductions followed.
One OF the army officers happened to be
a major general. He is slightly deaf.
The man who was doing the introduce
ing turned to the general and said:
Genuine Meets Bogus.
General -, allow me to intro
r5uce to you General -"
The major general, whom we will
a General Blank to distinguish him
from the other man, whom we will des-
2gnate as General Dash, shook hands
with the other chap, and, placing his
hand to his ear, said, i~nquiringly:
81 didn't catch your name, general
General Dash reiterated the
Friendly interlocutor
"Dash-Dash? repeated the major
general, with a. puzzled expression up
On his face, Dash? don recall such
g. name in the army-Dash, did you
say? May / ask what army corps you
flave or had the honor Of serving in,
.g~eneral?'
Every man in the crowd wanted to
laugh. and it wa with difficulty that
ave restrained our smiles. Some one
pushed a glass Of pungent punch I'M
Her the old generals nose, and at the
familiar and welcome odor the real
warrior Immediately forgot the titular
commander, for General Dash hap
pened to be n Of the assistant sec
retaries la one of the departments in
Gtis city whose heads arc designated
with the official title of general And
sstnoe his appearance indicated an ago
IS under middle life in the thirties, the
Gncongruity was made the more evil
dent
1T is the height OF absurdity to be-
STOW or to claim the title of general
I'm the instances of assistant post
masters general, assistant solicitors
general. assistant attorneys general, or
ANY other of the many assistant gen.
erals that may be found scattered
.around In the official departments in
washington held down by men doing
sof1ic!al work in the civil branch OF the
government. Yet, strange to say. not
only are these assistants addressed by
their clerical subordinates as general
but they are insistent upon being thus
addressed by those who may have off,
cial business with them.
MANY Lady Generals"
osIn fact, l think it is far-fetched for
klhe heads Of these departments to be
addressed by he military title of the
commander of an army corps, and
while 1t may be conceded by some for
tshe sake OF argument hat such u title
Is proper in the instance OF the head
spf the department, 1t is unquestionably
Spoor taste to bestow 1t upon a sub
ordinate official assistant. Members
TOT. the house could with equal propriety
SIub themselves Judges because we
make the laws.
".rThey say that every man is de-
,sirous of fame in n manner or an
other. Here Is n chance for some one
imam to become famous. Let him. up
tton receiving the appointment Of an
assistant general stick to plain Mr.
sand his name will go down to poster
s4ty: not one Of them has yet done 50.
The absurdity of the situation of
lthese department generals is matched
by the president generals that thef fair
members of some of the lady ~organizaN-
teioss which hold their annual conven-
saions here turn loose upon us every
year. The single title OF either general
TOR president ought to be enough to
satisfy the craving of the most exact
ting seeker of titular fame, but when
1t comes to combining these titles the
limit is reached, particularly IN apply
ang the title of general to a woman.
president is more appropriate, OF
course, but general is the maximum
OF incongruity to my congressional
Enind-'