davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29
SERMONS BoILED Down.

Piety does not prove itself by petulance.
1t takes more than rust to win reverence.
The way to duplicate a fool is to argue
with him
For every real sorrow there are hundred
shadows,
Wrong rather enjoys the blows it gets
from blowers.
No man ever became wise who feared to
be called a fool.
Master, your tools and your treasure will
take care of itself.
A mans imagination reveals more than
the imaginary man.
Some people think they have peace when
they are only petrifed.
It's never hard to find a good argument
to back up an inclination.
Hard is the exit from Easy street and
many there be that find it,
Most men are willing to pray for their
enemies TO set the worst Of It.
gentleman would rather be taken for a
servant than fail to be of service
It will take more than an eight-hour day
to make the twenty-four hours divine.
The man who always has the sins of
others before him puts his own in his
pocket.
He who carries a cup Of cold water to a
thirsty world finds his way leading beside
the still waters.
Man a man thinks that the elimination Of
the evil and the slaughter of his personal
enemies is the same thing.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT.


New York Post: The telegraph states
that the Chicago ministers did not, in their
Sunday discourses, ascribe the San Fran
was conslderate of them to let God off SO
easily.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: A Boston cler-
gyman is responsible for the statement
that what this country needs is a king
What the Boston clergyman needs is a
permanent leave of absence that will en-
able him to enjoy the blessings OF royalty
where they make a speciality of it,
New York World: Times have changed.
A Philadelphia evangelist who was ac-
cused of saying that the earthquake was
punishment for San Francisco's wicked
ness promptly declares he was misquoted.
What he said was that the calamity was
intended as a warning Of the brevity and
uncertainty of life.
Springfield Republican,: The death of the
BLACK pope scarcely gets the notice it de-
serves Luis Martin, general of the So
ciety OF Jesus was a remarkable man
and perhaps one of the ablest of the long
series Of the successors of Loyola. He was
ordained priest in France when he was IS
years old, in 1854 being a Spaniard by
birth In 1877 he became rector Of the old
University of Salamanca and there he
gained fame as a theologian When Au-
derledy died in 1892 he became general OF
the Jesuits Luis Martin much opposed
the alleged "Americanizing" of the church
Of Rome and from his point of view was
quite right. The Society of Jesus has al
ways been more papal than the pope
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29
Personal AND OTHERWISE.

In the matter Of municipal "shakedowns"
the earthquake has no rival.
A casual glance at the weekly parade Of
.Satinee girls proves that the peach crop is
safe
The Boston Transcript notes that Pastor
Crane explains it. God did ito attract
attention" Wonder if this is the Crane
who uf'ed a magazine article and worked it
off as az original sermon?
4 Texas statesman has introduced bill
prohibiting the title Of colonel TO any man
who has not borne that military rank. The
idea is to bark back to the primitive Lone
star salutation, Hello, Pardw
A private secretary of a noted United
States senator has blossomed out as an
authority on mummies. The announcement
is coupled with the explanation that en-
yironment has nothing 10 do with his talent
Withered bachelors and hopeless spinsters
may be pardoned for regarding the boom
in marriage Of the homeless in San Fran
cisco as boost for the adage, 'Misfortunes
never come sngly." Right they are, vo-
eally. Marriage is not a single institution.
The record of the Omaha man who slept
undisturbed while his wife, returning late
from club meeting, pounded doors and
windows in vain for admission. must give
way TO that of a San Franciscan who slum-
bered on unconscious of the shake-up and
crash Of buildings.
Ten able-bodied women accuse man at
Atlantic City, n. J., Of being their husband
The accused Is Cuban doctor and the
acousers are black and white. Be
sides accommodating liberal stock % wives
the strenuous doctor soooped in feminine
jewelry and cash. other troubles paled be-
fore the trouble theft brought him. That
landed him In jail.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29
A LOST FRIEND.
John Boyle o'Rellly.

John Boyle OReilly.
My friend he was; my friend from all the
rest:
with chlldlike faith he oped to me his
No door was locked on altar, grave or grief;
No weakness yelled, concealed no disbelief:
The hope, the sorrow and the wrong were
And an. the shadow only showed the fair.
I gave him love for love; but, deep within.
Each Till-topped foible in the sunset
glowed
obscuring wales where rivered virtues
Reproof became reproach, till common grow
The captious woSd at every fault L knew
He smiled upon the censorship. and bore
With patient love the touch that wounded
sore:
Until at length, so had my blindness grown,
He knew judged him by his faults alone.
Alone. of all men. 7. who knew him best
Refused the gold, to take the dross for testl
Cold strangers honored for the worth they
saw:
His friend forgot the diamond in the flaw.
At last it came-the day he stood apart
When from my eyes he proudly yelled his
heart;
When carping judgment and uncertain
stern resentment in his bosom stirred;
When In his face ] read what / had been
And with his vision saw what he had seen.
Too latel Too late! Oh, could he then
have known,
When his love died, that mine had perfect
That when, the veil was drawn, abased.
The censor stood. the lost one truly priced.
Too late we learn-a man must hold his
Unjudged, accepted, trusted to the end.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

CORPORATIONS IN FEDERAL ELECTIONS
The unanimous report of the senate
committee on privileges and elections In
favor Of bill prohibiting corporations
Of all kinds from contributing to cam
paign funds i'm elections of presidential
electors, representatives in congress and
members of legislatures which are TO
choose United States senators is one Of
the good signs of the times, especially
in connection with report of belief at
Washington that the only question as
to enactment is whether congress can
reach the bill in time.
The suggestive fact is that the meas
ure has been prepared and is approved
without regard to party lines and it does
not appear to be opposed even by some
Of those i'm congress who are reputed, to
be identified with corporation interests.
On the contrary, they have changed the
bill, which in its original form applied
only to insurance corporation contribu-
tions, broadening it so as to apply to
all corporations.
The measure, of course, in no wise
undertakes to prevent citizens as indi-
viduals from contributing funds to the
political party of their choice, as they
please, for legitimate purposes, and no
one makes such a proposition. But
there is a profound and universal con-
viction that the time has come to draw
the line in party activities as well as
i'm legislation. and all official action
against all methods and practices which
tend to magnify corporation influence
i'm government.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

many languages. once I'm a while a red
flag is raised. But let us be calm. In as
many languages as we use in blasphemy
we offer prayer and praise out OF the
same mouth come curses and blessing. one
red flag does not make a revolution. IT is
usually at one end of a pole that has a
fool at the other end. If the fool get frac-
tious the police take him in.
San Francisco is frank sort Of city.
1t displays, its vices. They are not con-
cealed The city puts up no false pretense
to being a new Jerusalem. Let us not be
heavy hearted. The vices we have roost
high to be seen, and their iacldawing may
be heard afar But our virtues far over
match them and make less display and not
as much noise. II these good men are
fearful and moved to fee, to what city Of
refuge will they take a ticket to better
themselves in moral surroundings7 Better
stay with it and work redemption, talking
less"
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

Municipal ownership i'm Chicago is
stalled pending application of the street
railway companies for rehearing Of the
famous decision Of the supreme court
on the ninety-nine-year franchise act
Chicago municipal ownership people
may learn several things about obstruc-
ton by contemplating the work of Elm
mediate compulsory purchase Of the
water works in Omaha begun three
years ago by salaried board of water
commissioners which MS yet has no
water plant to manage.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29
Size of Army Omcers.
Indianapolis News.

President Roosevelt has issued an order
fixing the minimum height of army officers
at five feet five inches. The order, of
course, will apply only to future officers.
1t is pointed out that the enforcement OF
this order may exclude many West Point
cadets from the service, for a height of
five feet three inches is enough to admit
them to the academy. II they fail to gain
an additional two inches they will, no mat
ter what their other qualifications may be,
fail to get their commissions An officer
ought undoubtedly TO be a man OF sturdy
physique, but there seems to be no reason
why he should be five feet five inches tall.
Napoleon was only five feet two inches
when ne became first consul.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29
nENsoN oR pARLMANi

The municipal campaign in Omaha is
upon the voters to answer at the polls
Tuesday whether the next mayor shall
be Benson or Dahlman.
The campaign, taken altogether, has
been rather tame and devoid Of spec
tacular features. The candidates have
been daily explaining their views on the
questions at issue to their followers and
the relative positions Of the two OPP
posing candidates must now be well
known to every intelligent citizen who
manifests any interest in the govern
ment of the city.
Benson has conducted his campaign in
conservative and sober manner, re
flecting the characteristics of the man
who appeals chiefly TO business inter
ests-to the taxpaylng citizenship which
above all wants a well-administered,
economical and law-enforcing admins
tration. Mr.. Benson has told the people
what they may expect Of him as mayor,
repeating his promises made before
nomination and explaining them in
greater detail
Dahlman's candidacy has proceeded
more upon the order OF huge joke.
The candidate started out on a plat
form of fierce denunciation of the fran
chised corporations, on whose every
plank he declared he stood sduarely be-
fore even he had had time to read the
document. Having swallowed the plat
form with his eyes shut, Dahlman has
sought support by picturesque posing as
a courageous cowboy and a man of
backbone, and making promises in be-
half of personal liberty which could be
construed in any way that the particu-
lar voter might prefer.
Through it all several salient facts
stand out i'm strong light-namely, that
Benson has been a resident of Omaha
nearly twenty years. actively identified
with the business interests of the com
munity and enlisted in the successive
public enterprises for the upbuilding of
Omaha, while Dahlman is a compara-
tive newcomer in the town, with little
or nothing to make him a part of this
city, without business or property in
terests here to speak of and with no sub
stantial backing behind him.
Irrespective of political considerations,
there is no question but that Benson will
make a more creditable chief executive
for Omaha for the next three years than
would Dahlman, his democratic OPP
pOnent
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29
DOMESTIC PLEAsANTRIEs.

Every woman has one hope as age ad-
vances upon her"
And that is?'
That she doesn't look it."-Philadelphia
Ledger
Sir, my daughter tells me that you kissed
her without her permission"
We'll, she told me I'd have to kiss her
that way or not at all. did my best to
follow her wishes."-Cleveland Leader.
Her mother usually asks her daughter to
sing, doesn't She?'
only when disagreeable guests are pres
ent'-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mother-But surely he wouldn't have
kissed you If you had been emphatic in
Daughter.-I was emphatic. He asked me
If ia let him kiss me and 1 said: mot
much. "-Philadelphia Press.
my daughter" said Mr.. sto&anbons,
doubtfully lis by no means poor, you
know
oh that's all right" responded the
sutton, cheerfully. I'm plenty poor enough
for two."-Cleveland Leader.
Tess-It's really true, then, that Martha
Strongmind is to be married to Mr.. Timmd.
Jess-Not exactly Martha says he is to
be married to her.
Tess-Oh! yes, Of course; she has asked
you TO be her bridesmaid hasn't she7
Jess-No; she asked me to be her best
Tribune.
Ma, how did you ever happen to marry
"I was 20 years old, my dear"-Cleveland
Miss Passay-He was talking to you about
me, wasn't he?
Miss Knox-Yes He asked me IL YOU
were IS yet. and l said certainly not.
Miss Passay-What a ridiculous question:
Miss KnoX--Just what told him. said,
How long do you expect her to be S57"-
Philadelphia Ledger
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29
"KEEP COOL, BRETHREN"
Impressive Protest Against Critics of
San Franchises Morals.

Impressive fFOleHl "
San FranciscO's Morals.
An impressive editorial, prophetic in the
afterglow Of the disaster, was written the
afternoon preceding and printed In the San
Francisco Call on the morning of the
earthquake. Il was written in reply to
critics of the city's morals, and serves
like purpose now when a few such critics
unfeelingly liken the city's fate to that
of Sodom and Gomorrah Under the head
ing, Keep Cool, Brethren" the Call said:
Excellent and high-minded clergymen I'm
this city are discussing. rather warmly, its
moral status All cities need to have their
morals medicated San Francisco is no
exception Bishop Hamilton, who lives
and has spiritual jurisdiction here, has
fled a description of San Francisco, in
Guiding anarchy and social vice as among
our characteristics. Others supporting his
statements, express a fear OF local revolu-
ton and boodshed
"Ths is a very cosmopolitan city. We
have here the good and the bad OF many
races and natonalities. We blaspheme in
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

places which seem most distant That
very fact, however, illustrates the
benefcent effect Of present-day social
and industrial adjustments, because
such a burden, IL It should fall upon
one locality or community alone, would
be absolutely crushing and would cause
incalculable suffering.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

When the citizen who takes pride in
Omaha goes to vote on Tuesday let him
ask himself whether. when a delegation
OF distinguished visitors become the
city's guests. he would rather have the
hospitality Of the city extended by
Mayor Benson or by Mayor Dahlman.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

Those who see the hand of Providence
In the California horror must still be
reluctant to accept the plea of not guilty
made by alleged criminals who are to
go unpublished because all evidence
against them has been destroyed.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

the next great catastrophe will befall OF
who will be the victims All that can
be done is to meet the blow braveIy
when it falls, and. in the spirit which
the people all over the land are showing
towards their stricken brethren at San
Francisco, to do unto others as in like
case we would have others do unto us.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

AS an expert accountant w Ernest
johnson is far better qualified for the
place now filed by Comptroller Lobeck
than LObeck ever was or ever will be.
1t has been a long time since Comp
troller Lobeck has not been holding one
office and asking for either reelection
or election to another One.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

Judge fancy is credited with saying
that the supreme court is of as much
importance as the presidency; hut then
Judge fancy lived before the injunction
had reached its present development and
judges of today may think the distin
guished jurist over modest.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

Omaha needs some men of previous
councilmanic experience I'm the next
city council. 1t will get them by elect
Ing W. w. Bingham and Harry p. Zim-
man rs members from the Second and
Third wards respectively.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

Now that lawyers have started to dis
cuss the creed of the Protestant Epis-
copal church the members of that or
ganization may find their fundamental
law Incompetent immaterlal and irrel-
evant," But the theologians will have
the final word
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

The position of city clerk is not a
very important one beyond demanding
faithful and efficient service, but the
republican nominee, Sam X. Greenleaf,
has had experience in the office and
knows what is wanted there, while his
democratic opponent would have to
learn It all anew.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

In summing up their net loss San
Francisco banks seem to have found
earthquake and fire less disastrous than
the traditional games Of poker played
in the days Of the bonanza kings.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

Perhaps deal might be made
whereby Senator Aldrich would give the
people the railway rate law they de-
mand in exchange for retention of the
present tax on denaturized alcohol.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

The SmOot case may be ended next
week so far as the senate committee is
concerned, but as the Utah senator has
q few friends among his associates there
will be little difficulty in making the
speeches extend over his present term.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

The fact that week after the fire
safes burst into flame upon being opened
at San Francisco should show an inn
mediate necessity for the invention of
self-ventilating as we'll as fire-proof
safes.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

IF the free congressional garden seeds
are to he no more, the last remaining
excuse for a democratic member of con-
gross from this. district. as given by the
last incumbent himself. Is absolutely
taken away.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

The report that sliding scale"
would increase the cost Of anthracite
coal to the consumer needs explanation
since at this distance the sliding scale"
is supposed to be a plan whereby the
wages Of the miners depend upon the
price OF the product.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

The report that a Mexican warship
has seized an American fishing boat
might once have been cause for war; but
in this day it will more likely result in
the company owning the vessel being
called TO account
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

Fire Insurance companies that are
advertising prompt payment in full Of
claims for destruction OF property at
San Francisco are rlghtfully reaplng
reward OF popular approval but all the
good things said about them are likely
TO be unsaid II they proceed at once 70
recOup themselves by raising Ere rates
All over the country.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

Governor Pardee has Strengthened
the record" by filing a request for reg
ular troops in the earthquake affected
part Of California. AS the troops We're
already ON the ground the application
can be considered only as tribute to
red tape.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

II Jim" Hin had any real designs to
make Seattle supersede san Francisco
as the metropolis OF the Pacific coast 1t
is hardly probable his pet city, instead
OF sending supplies TO the afflicted,
would probably have invited the
stricken people to come and get them.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29
Wm nc senate DecInre ItseIft
New York Post.

A close student Of the United States
senate is inclined to dispute the prediction
that that body will declare the earthquake
at San Francisco unconstitutional. The
prophecy, of course, came from those who
look upon the shock as a blessing in dis
guise" and who have observed the senate's
recent attitude toward remedial" meas
ures.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

Some allowances must be made for
the Missouri republican club because it
has not been accustomed till lately to
holding it's meetings in a republican
rtafp
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

If politics continue as warm over in
Iowa as they are at this stage the corn
crop over there will he ripened before
the republican state convention, whether
the sun shines or not. y
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

The unexpected does not often happen,
but the most unexpected sights in the
streets Of Paris are the wood block pave
ments. Fifteen years ago the avenues and
boulevards in the heart of the city, which
for centuries had been paved with stone,
were being repaved with asphalt. Now
the widest and most Travelled thoroughfares
are paved with sawed wood blocks, of
about AXIS inches surface and three inches
thickness. These blocks are first creosoted.
then laid on a heavy base OF concrete and
oiled Thus treated, the wooden block
pavements Of Paris are as smooth as a
waxed ball room floor. The preference of
wood over asphalt is claimed to be due
to the softening of the asphalt in the
summer season and its slipperiness in win
ter. The wood pavement is just as noise
less, much easier on the horses and more
agreeable 20 drive over than asphalt. 1t
is conceded, however, that the original
cost Of wood block pavement is much
greater than asphalt, owing TO the high
price Of lumber but Paris il bound 10
have the best paved streets, whatever the
cost may be.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29
rip for sober Thonrht.
Washington Post.

A great deal of satirical comment has
been excited by the report that the liquor
bill Of the country for the last year was
81, 54S, 7OS,3O7, although the figures undoubt-
eddy call for sober reflection.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

The experiment of public ownership OF
public necessities has proved a success
with the single exception OF the telephone.
The French government owns and oper-
ates all telegraph and telephone lines as
part Of it's postal system While the ad-
mnlstration Of the postal telegraph has
been a phenomenal success, the postal
telephone. at least In Paris, has proved a
dismal failure. In the first place the
French telephone apparatus Is anuquated
In the next place. the service is wretchedly
inefficient II is very dlficult for anyone
10 make himself heard at any time. how
ever loud he may talk. During the noon
hour. which generally lasts from y 20
p. M. the telephone exchange boys and
girls rarely answer calls, and the COM
plants Of patrons remain UNDECIDED As
natural sequence. comparatively few peo-
pie avail themselves Of telephone facilities,
even though they are within everybodys
reach. EDWARD ROSEWAIEh.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

If you have neglected to register you
will have no right to blame any one
else if things do not go the way you
want them at the election.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29

Now that the railroads are rushing ce-
ment to Panama it is possible some of
the leaks" may be stopped.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29
Good work Wen Done.

New York Tribune
Give the railroads their due. for they are
not exacting it so far as San Francisco
is concerned.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29
ProsperIty Has the Good..


IHllauelpma Press.
Another thing that has been demon
strated within the last Week is that our
prosperity is the kind that can deliver the
goods
Omaha daily bee., 1906-04-29


BY invitation and courtesy Of Ambassa-
dor Mccormick, l availed myself of the
opportunity for meeting the chief eXecu-
tive and members of his cabinet and wit
Messing the equestrian performance. A
large concourse of civic and military func-
tionaries and members Of the diplomatic
corps greeted the presidential party at the
entrance to the palace and acclaimed
President Falicres as he assembled the
magnihcently decorated tribune. That was,
however, the only popular demonstration
during the entire afternoon. Tho feats of
the horses ELECTED but very little cnthus-
iasn from the superbly dressed audience.
Comparison between the Paris and
Omaha Auditoriums would naturally he in
vidious The Grand Palace Elysee, as its
name implies, is in every respect palatial.
Its frescoed walls are hung with paint
ings, its galleries adorned by costly tapes
tries and its corridors by statuary But
when it comes to the real thing-the horse
show-Paris is outclassed by Omaha. From
first to last the Partisan horse show was
tame affair, lacking in spirit and variety.
The grooms and horses-there was only
horseback exercisc-appeared to be drafted
out OF a circus.