Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1906-04-21
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49, Ef0N

Teacher-Tommy, what is the name
Of the largest known diamond? Tommy
The ace.-Cleveland Leader.
Heidi you know 1 had become an
actor7 She-No. All heard was
that you had gone on the stage
Judge.
How many stops has that organ you
bought your daughter?" "Five-break-
fast dinner, tea, supper and bedv'-
Judge
Beulah-Why do you call 1t a double
elopement7 Alma-He first ran away
with her and then with her money
Town Topics.
knicker-Jones and his wife are
singing the 'Marseillaise." Booker
Yes; they are bracing up to dischar,e
the cook.-Harper's Bazaar
Maude-Oh, deari dread the
thought Of my thirtie''l birthday. Clara
Why, l supposed you had forgotten
1t long ago.-Chicago Daily News.
Il think Mrs. Newcome is so sweet.
Don't you? You can read her char
acter in her face" Yes. If YOU read
between the lines. "-Harper's Bazaar.
The ragged heroine-Merciful heav-
ems ! l am perishing from the coldi
Voice from the gallery-Sweep up de
snow-storm an make a bonfire Puck.
How do you like your government
positionT I'm greatly disappointed.
have to work as hard to fill the place
q 70 r,f
Minnie-I want to introduce you to
a young lady-a very nice young lady
and she's worth her weight in gold
Bob-Stout girl, hope-New Yorker
you say your late uncle was an &c.
centric old fellow. Do you think he
was insaneT Il don't know-the will
hasn't been read yet.-Cleveland Lead
er.
We'll, this is a put-up job, all right"
said the man, as he struggled, under
his wife's direction. to hang the pic
lures ON the parlor wall.-SomervilIe
Journal.
He-Do you think blondes have more
admirers than brunettes? She-I don't
know. You might ask Miss Turner.
She has had experiences In both capa-
cities.-New Yorker.
Have you much room in your new
dat?" Room Mercy me, l should
think not. Why, our kitchen and din
Ing room are so small that we have to
use condensed milk Puck.
The professor-Undoubte a mar
! fat l. he k~at
uating a memory. The sweet girl
oh, l don't know. l always tie knot
In my pocket ndkerchief-Plck-M Me-
I Up.
THAT man Fewscads is right
wealthy, isn't her" "why no. How
came you to think SOP 81 understand
he has an automobile and that he has
been operated on for appendicitis. -
Dallas News.
Rural authorizations why doesn't
some one tell that pretty girl over there
that her hair is mussed up and needs
combing7 City niece-Sh aunty that
Ia the fashionable Automobile tousle"
Chicago News.
The upper fiatters wife GREATNESS
ly)-Dear, I've piece OF news for you
The fiute-player across the hall Is
dead The upper-fatter (pleadingly)
Please don't make me laugh-my lips
are so chapped.-Judge.
General traffic manager-So forty
were killed In the wreckl We must
fix the responsibility. Superintendent
Of rebates-Hadn't we better fix the
roadbed? PRESIDENTIAL will be well
II we fix the legislature.-Smart Set.
IAN elephant must be a pretty ex-
pensive animal" Eyes. 1 wish | had
enough money to buy one" what
do you want with an elephant2' II
don't l merely expressed a wish for
the money. philadelphia Public
Ledger.
Here, willie" cried the boys
father, you mustn't behave that way.
Everybody will be calling you Il little
glutton. Do you know what that Is p
II suppose" replied Willie, ITS big
glutton's little y."-Philadelphis
Press.
Elsie-So you consider him mislead-
Ing and disappointing? Why? EdIe-
Well, he had me on tenter-hook last
night in expectation that he was going
10 ask me to go to the theater. Elsie
: And didn't he? Edie-No; he only
asked me to marry him.-Tit-Bits
! waiter, do you mean to say this 1.
the steak ! ordered?" Yes, sab.
!. This looks like the same steak the
}, gentleman across the table refused t
>. eat few minutes ago" Yes, sab
Z we always tries it three times befor,
we gives 1t up, sah."-Milwaukee Sen
;. tinel.
Z you may send me only half tn,
|. usual quantity of meat until furthe
i notice" said the customer who keep
Z boarding house. whats the mat
a ter, mum; some of your boarders leav
/ Ing7" asked the butcher, sympathetical
v ". "Oh, no." was the reply, but thre
!. of my gentlemen dodgers are in love.
-Tit-Blts.
Backlotz-Whats this l hear abou
:. Mrs. Swellman being robbed OF he
jewels7 Subbubs-Factl They're gone
! and Mrs. Kraft is the guilty party
Backlotz-Whatl You don't mean I
= say she stole Subbubs-What els
Il can you call it, She offered the COO
six dollars week and the chamber