St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1906-02-21
Good Stories.

Good Stories.
Congressman Gordon Russell OF Texas
enlivened the debate on the railroad rat'
bill in the House last week by relating
the familiar but always appreciated
anecdote on Ethan Allen. In the course
OF bis speech Mr.. Russell said
But, sir, while the railroads have
benefited the people, the people have
benefited the railroads. To tell ME to
the contrary would remind me OF an
anecdote related OF old Ethan Allen after
the battle of Ticonderoga, when he at
tended church and heard the parson
pray very unctuously, thanking the Lord
for the great victory of the American
forces. Then Ethan got up and said
Parson, it is all right to give the
Lord praise for this victory, but the next
time youpray along this line Just want
you ~ mention that Ethan Allen was
there also.
One OF the recent prize stories in the
Boston Sunday Herald was a gentle
roast on DR.. H. T. Fuller, who is well
remembered as former principal OF St.
St. Johnsbury Academy. The story was
contributed by F. T. Harvey OF Milford,
Mass, and is as follows:
In the days when Homer T. Fuller
was at the head of the faculty of the
Worcester Polytechnic Institute the
students were required to attend chapel
exercises every morning at ten O'Clock.
The good doctor was wont to supple.
ment the usual scripture reading and
prayer with such advice and "Reminiscences
as might be OF value to the lively young
men under his care.
One morning it was noted that his
aspect was particularly grave, and as he
gazed impressively upon bis somewhat
awe-struck audience the proverbial pin
was heard to drop.
"Gentlemen," be said, with his char.
acteristic nasal voice, which added to
his words greater solemnity, "Iattend-
ed yesterday, the funeral Of the late John
B. Cough, and wish you might all have
been there, that you might be fill.
ed with the desire to win the respect
of the nation as did this great and good
man. Why, gentlemen, the tributes ]
heard offered were more touching than
any ever heard offered at the funeral O.
any living man."
The New York World relates the fol
lowing amusing anecdote about Yer
mout's senior Senator:
There is a Senator Proctor and E
senatorial secretary named Proctor
The secretary works for Senator Lodge
A short time ago a medical officer in thu
navy failed on his examinations for pro
motion. He was bewailing his fate tt
the captain OF the ship, and the captain
said: "Go up to Washington and Sc,
Proctor. Maybe be can help you to gel
another examination"
The doctor came to Washington. Th,
only Proctor he had ever heard abou
was Senator Proctor. So be called or
the Vermont statesman. He said he wa
So.and-So, and Captain So.and So hat
told him to call on Proctor.
Captain who ?" asked the senator
The doctor repeated the name, and al
though the senator looked puzzled b.
listened to the story. The doctor is {
good talker. He made out strong cas-,
for himself, and Senator Plocto
promised to go to the secretary OF tn
navy and see what he could do. He wen
and secured another examination for tn
doctor. A few days later the doctor
flushed with victory returned to his ship
Ibid you see PROCTOR" asked tn
captain.
Indeed did, and he is the finest OH
chap l ever met. l used your name wit
him to good effect"
"Old chap shouted the captain
why, Proctor is young, smooth
shaver fellow"
"Pish, tusb!' said the doctor; "he ha
gray whiskers and he is one of the bes
fellows | ever met"
Then they had an experience meeting
The captain had directed the doctor t.
Secretary Proctor in the hope tina
Proctor could get Senator Lodge to e
to the front for him. The captain dit
not know Senator Proctor.
What's the use fussing with a secre
tarI :" was the DOCTORS only comment
And here is good one on our popula
junior Senator which all who know Mr.
Dillingham; will appreciate.
A witness in the Smoot inquiry wa
asked in cross examination to stat
/ whether certain passages in the Book o
Revelation were made part OF the En-
dowment House oaths.
Let me have Bible" said the wit
ness, and will show vou."
On, N.Y." exclaimed Senator Bur
rows, the chairman of the committee
-! am afraid we are a little short OF
Bibles In this committee room"
The clerks scurred around, but coult
hnd neither Bible nor Testament.
well" said Senator Dillingham;, -
will tell you what to do. Go down tc
my room and get mine. There is one
You are sure of that ?" asked Senator
Knox, specifically.
Absolutely" declared Dillingham;
warmly.
" guess you are right" replied Knox
you took my old committee room,
remember"
Editor Harvey Of Harper's Weekly has
the following pleasantly which the
friends of the Vermont Congressman will
appreciate.