Omaha daily bee., 1906-03-28

orders to bold up all who would intrude
upon his privacy, even II they come on
public business. The other day a man
got into the sacred presence unannounced
and Mr. Stillings roared at him; How did
you get in here?" The visitor did not
seem to be much alarmed and instead of
replying asked another question; Are you
the public printer?'' Mr.. Stllings again
demanded. II want to know how you got
in here" The caller replied calmly "If
you are the public printer l would like
to introduce myself and possibly make a
few remarks about how TO act like a gem
tleman My name is Dick. l am from
Ohio and happen to be a senator with bust
ness here" Whereupon the public printer
lost all of his anger and most of his dig
nifty.
1t cost the government S1.154 in the
form Of salaries for members of the house
of representatives to prevent the committee
on appropriations raising the pay of one
laborer who weighs the coal that is used
in the house from $50 to $40 a month. 1t
took that body three hours to accomplish
that mighty saving. Assuming that mem
bers work seven hours a day, the figures
quoted represent the sum they would re-
ceive were they employed by the hour
instead of by the year. During that time
the committee was able to keep the pay Of
elevator operators at 1900 per year. al
though a hard onslaught was made on
that salary by Messrs. Hardwick of
Georgia and Prince OF Illinois. The debate
showed that while the appropriation bills
allow only N,l00 a year for the men who
run elevators in the capitol, congress an
nually increases the pay to $500 and votes
an extra months pay to all employees.
Congressman Bartholdt of st. Louis at
one time got up a bill In the interest of
the brewers. Just then the conscience OF
his colleagues were in the usual acute
conditions over the evils of the demon
rum and Bartholdts proposition was
downed by the usual woman's Christian
Temperance union majority. "Bartholdt
sat and glowered while the next bill was
put on its passage. 1t was a measure
giving some new privileges to a railroad
company II went through pretty nearly
unanimously and then the house adjourned.
As the members went out one of them
asked the St. Louis man what made him
| look so glum and sour. "Mein Gottr' he
said. and 1t came straight from an over
charged heart. IF the breweries could
only issue passes!"
All the prizes in the catalogue set aside
! for Observation-Disclosures belong to John
| Sharp Williams. The democratic leader is
even more absent-minded than the man
who would forget his head were it not
fastened to his neck. II he remembers
| to keep a dinner engagement without the
assistance Of any other person he counts
himself the brightest citizen in the town
for that day.
A short time ago his secretary re-
minded him that that was the evening he
had promised to dine with Representa- tive
Sibey. AS soon as his memory was
logged Williams began making toilet ar
ticles describe all the curves ever thought
Of by old man Hogarth. He is a wonder
in getting dressed.
In about Ave minutes after carefully
surveying himself in a shaving glass, which
showed his person down TO the top button
OF his vest. he turned to his secretary and
asked Now, how's that?'
Fine, fine," admiringly remarked that
young person, but really, ! think you
would look bit better IL you should wear
trousers tonight"
Senator Fulton of oregon has entered
into the full togaship OF his ONCE. For
many years-so many that no man now
In the senate remembers when he did not
do 1.-THE late Senator John II. Mitchell.
Mr.. FNulton's colleague, had been in the
habit of giving to- his friends OF the
senate a luncheon from the largest salmon
to be had from the northwest. Senator
Fulton invited the senate down to the
restaurant to partake OF the noblest sal
mon that ever graced a plank. 1t weighed
I = a..
The negro cooks planked It on a piece
of oak six feet long and cooked 1t to the
kings taste. When they had gsrnished
It with salad, greens and whitfield turnips
and beets, it was a picture that made
II almost sacrilege 10 plunge a knife in it,
Champ Clark has been receiving felicia
tons on the popular appreciation which
has greeted his use OF the word 'jower-
ing" in debate. Papers all over the coun-
try are discussing II and his colleagues
are congratulating him on adding a new
word to the language Hang emf" said
Champ. I'm going TO look II up now and
see II there isn't authority for It. III bel
Shakespeare or somebody used It, and n
they didn't it's the first new word ever
added to the language Of which that ISM
true"
The fine distinction drawn by government
! employees as to the division OF their labori
was well illustrated by a dialogue between
, two negro laborers on the west terrace Of
/ the capitol
Get out here!" said one laborer TO tho
other, who held back. Get out here and
! help clean the snow on this terrace"
Go on, you ngger" the other replied
II won't do no such thing. Use a ported
Niger. ] amt no terrace Niger. no
how"
r Congressman Mccall OF Massachusetts, {,
! a born insurgent He never is on IN,
same side with anybody else II he can hell
4 Il. A short time ago he proposed al
I amendment to a pending bill There was
I call OF the house. After II was over Me
I Call was discovered striding moodily uI
/ and down I'm the republican cloakroom
, whats the matter. McCall2" he wal
2 asked. Matter" snorted Mccall. Matter
I enough. / am getting too blamed popular
Seventeen people voted for that amend
=