Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-03-17
A Martyr to Form
fOrigtnaI.1

| proper thing to dos like shaking a
red rag before q mad bull, and I'll tell
| you why.
l was brought UP In an eastern city,
| in the "best circles" which meant that
1 was carefully trained as to the
proper thing" 1 was used to two diff
ferent ways of turning casual ac-
quaintances with young ladies into
calling acquaintance. The first was
| for the young man to wait for an in
vitation to call from the young lady
or some member of her family. the
other to secure the good Offices Of
mutual friend, who would give the in
PRODUCTION.
When l was twenty l removed to
western city, where l went into bust
ness and made the place my home. /
found it very different in a social way
| from being on my own stamping
| ground" at home. / had never had oc-
casiOn to push myself socially and to
| do so would have been repulsive to me.
| Nevertheless | gradually made &C
| quaintances, in all cases receiving the
invitations without solicitation on my
| part. AS l grew toward that age
| wherein a man tires of society and
longs for home 1 gradually dropped
| out of the gay world l desired to
meet some attractive girl who would
consent to marry me.
One day l received an invitation from
an intimate friend of mine-a Mrs.
| WoOd-to dinner. The only other guest
present was Miss Julia Rivard, young
lady whom / at once pronounced very
attractive the person, l thought,
| judging from appearances, that would
| like to make nest with. She was
| very pretty, very ladylike and had been
| well educated. She was but nineteen
! years old and not self assertive, but
this only rendered her the more attrac-
| tive to me. passed delightful even
ing in her company and went home to
dream Of her.
In due time l called upon Mrs. Wood
and told her that | was much pleased
| with her friend. This / considered
quite enough to warrant her Offering to
! be medium in securing me q calling
acquaintance on Miss Wood She made
no offer to do so. l met the young lady
at social entertainments and paid her
much attention. hoping and expecting
an invitation to call upon her. No In
vftatton came. l was, tC use q word
that best expresses it, miffed. 1 grad
ually ceased my attentions, and Miss
Rivard treated me with less warmth.
pXy 81
ness between us.
met Miss Rivard occasionally for a
number Of years. Meanwhile l picked
up new friends and dropped some Of
! my old ones. There was no young lady
that l cared to marry except Miss Ri
ward, and since she did not care enough
for me to ask me to her house / re-
| manned 8 bachelor.
Seven years after | had met Julia
Rivard a sister of mine came from the
east to visit me. At an evening party
introduced my friend Jack Milburn
to her. While riding home l said to
her: II hope you asked Milburn to call.
OF course I'll bring him, but a fellow
likes to have a girl ask him"
MY dear boy, I never ask men to
cali upon me-"
'Why notT' l asked, surprised.
Because it isn't the proper thing to
| do"
what is the proper thingT'
If the gentleman wishes TO know
the girl it Is his privilege to ask per-
mission to call upon her"
Il never did such a thing in my
life. We never did it at home"
Il believe things were different in
such cases when you were at home.
The custom has changed"
This was a revelation to me. For
years 1 had been priding myself on not
trespassing upon other peoples homes
till invited. had caused an estrange-
ment between myself and the girl 1
wished to marry, and all because a con-
ventional form had changed and 1 did
| not know it.
| I told my sister Of my mistake and
| asked her what I could do in the mat
| ter. She told me that she would think
! 1t over and let me know if she thought
Of any way to unite the knot. l wait
ed some time for her reply, but none
came. Then one morning 1 received a
note from Miss Rivard:
| Your sister tells me that you have been
| waiting seven years for me to ask you to
| come to see me. 1 meantime have been
: waiting seven years for you to ask for
| an invitation to call upon me, since I sup
posed that to be the conventional form in
such cases. Indeed, [ never was taught
| any other 1 hope you will come soon and
often to make UP for lost time
lost no time in making the call and
when | did SO displayed such grief at
having through a bit of conventional
stubbornness lost seven years of the
lady's society that it was equivalent
to lot Of lovemaking My courtship
lasted seven days, or one day for each
year of our estrangement; then I pro-
! posed and was accepted.
l learned soon afterward that | was