The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-06-01

Teacher-Now, Johnny, what is the
perfect tense of the verb ito invest ?"
Johnny-To investigate.-New York
Sun.
say, Jean, won't you lend Paul a
nVeff Does he need it badly?" II
should say so! He wants to pay bach
what he owes mev-Les Annales.
First Old Lady-He was bad char
acter; but believe he repentei at last
second Old Lady-Oh, no, he didn't,
l saw that he died intestate.-Londop
Globe
Whata beautiful hat you're wearing
Today" I'm so glad you like it. You
have such good taste" Eyes, l had
one just like it-last year."-Meggen-
dorfer Batter.
Poor old Henpeck leads dogs life
with his WIFE," well, why on earth
doesn't he apply for a divorce" He
says he wanted to, but she wouldn't
let him.'-Ex.
II a man smiles and looks pleased
when you pay him compliment, pay
MIN another one. In time you may be
able to borrow money from him.-Som.
erville Journal
MY DOCTOR" said Billyuns, has or
dered me to take more exercise"
What are you going to doY Have
the ticker moved across the room from
my desk."-Ex.
Young Mother-The doctor says you
shouldn't kiss the baby; it isn't SAM.
tary. Old Neighbor-Poor little fel-
low-why don't you wash him?-De-
troit Free Press.
Victim-What has happened? Where
am 1? Doctor-You have been serious.
ly injured in trolley accident. But
cheer up-you will recover. Victim
How much?-Ex.
Bank Cashier-You have overdraw n
your account, madam. Lovely Lady
That Is just like me! My husband says
l am always exaggerating everything.
l-Somerville Journal.
Mamma-Of course you said, "Oh,
this is 80 SUDDEN when Tom finally
proposed. Daughter-No; fully in
tended to. but l was 80 excited l for.
got and exclaimed, AT lastv'-Ex.
"Oh, Mr.. Brown, why did you leave
the Christian Science Church?' "Real
~, Miss Jones, If you will have the
truth, 1 got SO awfully tired Of being
50 persistently cheerful all the time"
Life.
First Author-Have you sold many
copies Of your book? Second Author
(absently) Over q hun.
dred thousand First Author-When
was it issued? Second Authorized
Tuesday.-Life.
Mother-Bobby, begged papa fof
an hour to-day to buy pony, but hs
won't do it. Bobby Indignantly
Why didn't you burst into tearst
Couldn't you do that much for me?-
New York Mail.
II understand that your boy is get
ting an education" "Yassuh," answer
ed Uncle Raspberry, "an' mebbe he's
dom better'n dat. 1 honestly b'lievea
he's gittin' sense along wifi it,
Washington Star.
did tn docther find out what it Is
that's ailin' yezY mo. He said th't
nawthin' but a postmortem examina-
ton wud iver reveal ut. An haven't
enough curiosity about ut to have ut
done."-Cleveland Leader.
Dear pop" wrote the boy from the
art school, don't send me any more
money! have saved half that which
you sent me last month" Come
home" wired the old man, you'll
never make an artist.
Chief-Do you mean to say that you
haven't been able to get single clew
as to the perpetrator Of this crime1
Detective-Naw. Them newspaper re-
porters is down on me and they won't
tell me anything.-Cleveland Leader.
Reporter understand that one OF
your guests committed suicide last
night by hanging himself out Of a
third-story window. Lodging-house
Keeper-Well, there was such room
er in the air for a while.-Town Top
les.
Alice rushed in from the garden.
where she had been picking flowers.
She was badly stung by a bee, ana
was holding on to her finger and Sob
hing pitifully. "Oh, mamma" she
cried. II burned me on bug!'-
Brooklyn Life.
Young Lady (repeating conversation
to deaf old gentleman)-Miss Frilla
savs It gave her such a fright Deaf
Old Gent-Eh? l didn't quite
Young Lady-Such fright! Deaf Old
Gent-Ah, yes-I agree with you-so
she is!-Punch.
II suppose, madam" said the archi.
tect. you will want an electrolier put
IN the drawing-room?" Sure" an
.vered Mrs. Neurich; II don't know
how to play one, but I'll begin taking
Lessons at once, regardless of COST
Chicago Daily News.
by the way, what has become OF
nrown's book, One Hundred Short
Cuts to Wealth. that he was working
ca hard upon last year," "Oh, Brown