davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-12-07
Ignorance at a Premium.

Education. according TO comman.
der Gambler. was not valued In the
British navy In the sos The future
commander began his lie at sea
aboard the Retribu,lon with an edu.
cation which included Greek. an &C,
quirement Of which "our second mas
ter. who had Joined the navy straigh,
out Of a merchant ship" made light
I'VE don't want none OF this here
kind OF hogwash At sea. said my
friend. also quickly discovered
that to know anything about music
beyond being able to sing a comic
song or play hornplpe on a ur
whistle-was likewise an ofense
while the crowning lnfamy was Il
be able TO talk French or any for
eign tongue"
The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-12-07
Sees Rare indian Rites.

Edward A. Curtis, the famous pho
tographer OF Indians. to aid whose
work ]. Pierpont Morgan gave $4,000.
and whom President Roosevelt select.
ed TO take pictures Of Alice Roose-
velts wedding. has been initiated into
the Order Of the Snake by the Hopi
Indians In the state OF Washington.
He is the nrst white man TO take
the vows Of that mystic order. For
nine days and nights he was held In
an lily ventilated underground cell.
with much fasting and many ceremon.
les, while the mysteries we're en-.
planned 10 him.
He says that $50 snakes we're used
IN the course Of the initiation. none Of
which had the fangs removed. The
Indians handled them With perfect
immunity.
The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-12-07
Safety In coupllno.

A new and useful invention IL now
being tested on the railroads and
tramways Of Belgium. which promises
TO do away with the most prolific
cause Of accidents during shuntlng.
The apparatus 10 In two parts. the
FIRST an automatic coupling ar.
rangement. and tho other an auto,
matte brake whereby II a coupling
snaps the detached vehicles are At
once brought 10 a standstill
on trial trip In which nearly All
the chief railway officials participated
NIL sorts OF tests were made and the
Arrangement was declared TO be q
complete success.
The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-12-07
Effect Of JsaIouaY.

ITS such a good Joke on the Pitts.
burgs." says the FIRST lady.
What Isl That they are on the
verge Of separation" asks her friend.
Indirectly yes You know each o.
them has engaged a private detective
10 watch the other and day before
yesterday their two detectives put In
a whole afternoon following them In
an auto while they were riding In an.
other one. Il costs them $40 apiece
TO learn that they had taken an auto
tide together."-Iudge.
The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-12-07
Much VIrtue In Ole,

Much Ii Wing says the Chinese are
the healthiest people on earth. be-
cause they live solely on the three RS
rice. ragout and rennet Chinese
rice Is cooked without sal, and each
grain stands 10 Itself and Il Is eaten
without butter. gravy. pepper or any
other oondiment Rheumatism and
gog are almos, unknown among rioe
eaters: yet our American physicians
sternly forbid Il as an article Of diet
among victims Of those diseases.
The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-12-07

Say" sneered the bulldog. you
don't know much about scientific
fighting. do your"
Perhaps not" replied the porch.
pine. III you want to try a little bou,
with me, however, think | can give
you @ few points"
The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-12-07

TO EXCHANGE. A store and home
for small farm or town property.
]. T. Morgan.
X. =. ID. No. !. Fredonia. Ky.
The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-12-07
DIR. Caldwell'S
tLasstissl
Syrup PepSin

the better u viii be tor you.
You can't afford 10 fool with your
liver, and you certainly can't afford to
be without this great remedy u your
liver is out Of order. Don't delay.
Both you and your liver will be better
''livcr" than ever.
DR.cALDwELL'S SYRUP PEPSlN
can be obtained In both dollar and half.
dollar sises from all druggists.
Your money will be refunded " u
does not bcneh, you.
Your postal card rsaussi IN bfiag hy ty,urn
mai our nsw bootlet, 'Df, CALDWklle
thcss Who hsvs never tried this voedsffa
remedy. Send today.
The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-12-07

WANTED. Haynes 4 Taylor will
give prize TO the one that will furnish
them ten Of the largest apples. by
weight The prize will be- awarded
Christmas.
The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-12-07
The slnole Test,

why should a bachelor make N.
best public oandldater
I suppose because he Ia 20 single
minded In all his prinolplos."-Baltl.
more American.
The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-12-07

The CRIrTENDES RECORD will devote
column or less for the exclusive use
Of The Records Farmers. II YOU
are farmer and a subscriber Of this
paper, you may advertise anything you
have for sale free In this column. but
u must be Eve lines or less Send IN
your wants and see how quickly they
viii be supplied.
The Crittenden record. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, 1906-12-07

WANTED.-To sell nice little farm
Of 90 acres. 10 acres timber. on Piney
Creek near W. n. Orders.
JonS Z. SwAssEY.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
Do You Earn
500 q Month?
IF Not, Read This
If Not, Read This

1t is easy to earn this and more, in a
business of your own, in an honest,
legitimate and permanent business,
one that will get better every year.
We want men with horse and wagon.
to sell our line of household necessities.
family medicines, veterinary remedies,
stock and poultry foods, coffee, tea.
baking powder. spices, lavoring ex
tracts, soaps, toilet articles, perfumes
machine oil, etc.
You furnish horse and wagon and
satisfactory references as to vour
honesty. We do the rest. No capital
or experience necessary. Exclusive
territory given, with privilege Of an
pointing sub agents. We start YOU IN
business and furnish all the capital
necessary. Write today before the
territory you want is taken. For full
particulars, address,
TIE w. ". GRIFFIN COMPANY.
Department a. IT. WaVne. IND
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
Compensation.

A bhshiH maiden Of the backwool.
had cnfide to her ''lnaw'' that a Ger
tain vooer,f the name of Hank haC
popped" her and that she haC
agreed to itch up" with him, where
upon her nav" had knocked the
ashes fromer pipe against the chin
ney jamb al had said:
Hank hat no great to look at, jim
ny, but VIII man is the rife shot he
is an whehe owns two O. the best
bull pups this county an kin lick
any man oils size with one hand tied
behind hiram kin jump higher an
run fasteror any other chap in these
parts-whhe's got an kin do all that
a gal mig look further an do wuss
than to sfe up with him. I'm right
glad you 1T THROWN yourself away
on a povg struck nobody, honeyp'-
Judge.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
No good health unless the kidneys
are sound. Foley's Kidney cure makes
the kidneys right Ut. Bennett.
a correspondent wishes to knov

"A correspondent wishes to know
where the state of matrimony is.
Well, as near as, we can locate if.
this happy state is one of the
United" states. 1t is bounded bv
hugging and kissing on one side
and cradles ard babies on the other.
It's chief production is population,
broomsticks and staying out all
night. 1t was discovered by Adam
and Eve while trying to find a pas
sage cut of paradise. The climate
is sultry until You pass the tropics
of housekeeping when squalling
weather sets in without sufficient
power to keep all hands down.
For principal roads leading to this
state consult the first pair of blue
eyes you chance to meet.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

Within the last dozen years a
wonderful change has come over
the business Of farming in this
country. The opprobrium of tilIi2g
the soil has given away to genuine
respect and admiration for the
farmers, who today live better in
every way than the majority of
those claiming sordid, grueling cities
as their homes. Most of the farm
ers nowadays have nonmortgaged
dwellings on profitable acres. The
sons and daughters go to colleges
and technical schools, where they
learn how to return to the farms
and get more out of the soil than
their fathers were able to. The
cities do not offer the attractions to
these young people they held. It
is hard to understand why more Of
the complainers and those who say
they can not earn enough to keep
themselves and the families in the
cities do not 90 to the agricultural
communities, where they are sure
Of an abundance OF food and good
shelter.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
One of our citizens who .,

One of our citizens who occa :
slonally wipes the dishes for his
wife, became tired of the lob and
refused, saying that 1T is not a
mans work" Not feeling disposed
to lose his help she brought the
Bible out to convince him of his
error and read as follows from II
Kings 21:13: "And will wipe Jeru-
salem as man wipeth a dish, wip-
ing it and turning il upside down.
1t is needless to say he is still doing
his occasional stunt.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
THE MOOR RRAND1sHED HUGE B1UDGEoN

THE MOOR BRANDISBED A HUGE BLUDGEON
and the housekeeping arrangements.
He took a fat in the Latin quarter, and
the arrival of the party created quite
a sensation III the neighborhOod, as the
natural charms of the ladies, who are
all supremely lovely, were enhanced
by the picturesque costumes of their
own country. Dwellers. in the street,
especially members Of the sterner sex,
devoted a good deal of time to watch
ing for the goings out and comings in
of the beauties from Morocco, bat, alas,
their fond hopes We're doomed to cruel
disappointment for awhile, as only
Mohammed and Fatma, the servant,
ever effected a sortie. One fine day,
however, excitement reigned in the
neighborhood The merchant from Fez
had few days before left Paris for a
tour in the provinces, and, 10 and be-
hold his fair friends were emerging
from their dwelling, and escorted by
the maid, We're attired in fashionable
and UP to date costumes, enjoying a
walk every day until the Moor was on
the point Of returning.
In the meanwhile great had been the
havoc wrought in susceptible male
bosoms as the bellies from the land of
the setting SUM- with their flashing
eyes, raven tresses and pearly white
teeth, had strolled along, gazing into
the shop windows and exchanging
laughing remarks with each other
But, somehow or other, MOhammed, as
was well nigh inevitable, heard of
these delectable excursions, and, after
having administered sound correction
to the three graces and also to the serv-
ant with whose assistance they had
procured the fashionable costumes. he
had a big cage fitted up in a room, and
four women up in it. The pretty birds
would not fly out again in a hurry, he
said to himself, and so great was his
vigilance that there could be no ques-
ton OF any fresh attempt in that di.
rection. He, at any rate, was no adj
mirer of the policy of the open door
The harem might have gone on with
out any embarrassment until the ter
mination Of the business visit to
France if the Moor had not allowed
the. green eyed monster, jealousy, to
trouble his brain One day awful
screams resounded from the fat, and
neighbors, dashing in to the rescue,
beheId an extraordinary spectacle. The
four women were huddled together in
a corner of the cage in abject terror.
while Mohammed brandished a huge
bludgeon, with dire threats of doing
them to death with it. He had gone
stark, raving mad, but he was prompt
~ OverpOWered and committed to the
custody Of the police, who conveyed
him to the infrmary at the prefecture
When they were asked, in sheer Devil
derment. why they had submitted to
such treatment and had allowed them.
selves to be Gagged in a free country.
the four women answered in chorus.
1T was at the masters bidding" Res
ignati0n could no further 90, but 50 IL
was. Fate and the master had willed
it and to hear was to obey. Now the
fair captives may have a good time.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
Interesting to Asthma Sufferers

Il have had asthma for three or four
years and have tried about all the
cough and asthma cures in the
market" says Daniel Bantz of Otter
vile, Iowa, "and have received treat
ment from physicians in New York
and other cities, but got very little
benefit until [ tried Foley's Honey and
Tar which gave me Immediate relief
and l will never be without it in INV
mouse. | sincerely recommend it to
ALL j. L. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

"A lady who has had experience
with currant worms SAYS that a
little air Stacked lime sprinkled on
the bushes will kill the worms
White hellebore or paris green viii
XIII them also, but the latter Is
poisonous to human beings and
should not be used after this time
as the fruit is well grown and the
poison would be taken that way.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

The motors Of the Wenman air
ship have been successfully tested.
and if they work as we'll when a
start is made the ship NAV bump
against the pole and shy to the
southwark for the return trip. The
success of the modern dlrigibIe bal
loon with its small but powerful
motor, relegates doubt az to the
outcome Of an Arctic aerial voyage
to ordinary meteorological condi-
tons.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
'rlagply's Decision

In al village the serenaders
were stolng a house with tin cans.
guns, con and stone because the
bride ancoom refused to come out.
Little mmy, five years old, lived
two dooRbove, and in the midst Of
the rackaid:
ooh, NINA, l am never going to
get Notwithstanding of Fun.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
What'sthe good Of keeping from him
=, Any good things you may see.
mat will lift his load of labor
Like Rocky Mountain Tea
j. T. Bennett.

1t is told Of a central Kansas
editor, whose paper has adopted
"fonetic" spelling that he recently
received the following protest from
an old subscriber: 7 have tux your
paper for leven years, but If Won
kant spell enY better than YOU bav
been doing for the las to months
you may jest stop it."
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
success Ts Different.

PolNhen a fellow starts to do
anytf he can always succeed if he
only ks to it.
JoFot always. How about when
you t to remove a Sheet Of sticky
fly II that you've sat down on2
Pbilphia Ledger.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
Nothing strang re.

"r say that many of the old Hin
dools had diamonds in their eyes"
as not incredible. Ny girl has
a (ond in her eye now, and, hang
it. afraid I'll have to buy itr'-
N@rleans Times Democrat.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
Ten Years In Bed

: For ten years I was confined to nv
bed with disease of my kidney, writes
r. A. Gray, J. P. of Oakville, Ind. 1T
was so severe that [ could not move
part of the time. [ consulted the very
best medic; l skill available. but could
get no relief until Foley's Kidney cure
was recommended to me. It. has been
a Godsent to me-" j. T. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
Best For women and Children-

On account OF its mild action ana
pleasant taste Orino Laxative Fruit
Syrup is especially recommended for
women and children. 1t does not nau-
seate or grippe like pills and ordinary
cathartics. Orino Laxative Fruit
Syrup aids digestion and stimulates
the liver and bowels without irritating
them. Remember the name Orino and
reIUse substitutes. J. Z. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

Johnny = Paw, did Moses have the
dyspepsia, like what you've got?
Father-How on earth do 1 know
What makes you ask such a question?
Johnny ~ Why, our Sunday school
teacher says the Lord gave Moses two
tablets.-Medical Standard.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
On Her piano

"WhPn't you like the people ii
that faext door?"
ooh, husband breaches Wayne,
rian N; from morning until night"
"yVel
"Ande wife practices what the
husba1reaches. louisville Courier
Journ
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

The sympathetic neighbor, learning
that the doctor was going to "diag-
nose Mrs. Dolan's case, advised her
not to risk it to put on a mustard plas-
ter instead and trust to luck.-1Iassa-
chusetts Medical Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

al, me-" exclaimed Mrs. Nagget;
my shopping. was most unsatisfactory
today"
"HuhH' grunted Nagget. Trying to
get something for nothing, I suppose"
Yes, dear. I was after a birthday
gift for you. "-Philadelphia Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

1olIed everywhere for you at the
cp fair last evening" said her
at devotee, "but I didn't see you"
u forget" she answered sweetly
l am Charity. Judge.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

''Look at mel? exclaimed the leadin.
lawyer warmly. Il never took dro,
of medicine in my life, and I'm
strong as any two OF your patients pu
together"
We'll, that's nothing" retorted th,
physician. 81 never went to law il
my life, and Pm as rich as any two
dozen of your clients put together
Medical Standard
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

Doctor making diagnosis)-Now, a
to drink, what do you take?
Patient (cheerfully)-Oh, thanks! 70,
are very kind. I don't care if l e.
leave it to you, sir. It is all the san.
to me.-Western Druggist.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
P1gf 09SsG)e.g
In Cage
Jealousy Prompted Moor
ISL Merchant 10 q
Strange Deed.
On Visiting Paris With Three
,SpouSes lie DeOised This
Method Of Corlfiraf7e
Them In q FEaf.

When a few months ago a trader
from Morocco named Mohammed Ben
something or other went from his ma
tive land to Paris on business he
took with him trio Of wives and
a female servant to look after them
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

cures made by DR..
Ki1mer's Swamp
Root, the great kid
ney, liver and blad-
der remedy.
It is the great med
zeal triumph of the
nineteenth century !;
discovered afteryears
Of scientific research
by DR.. Kilmer, the
eminent kidney and
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

lggs-I killed a bear during nv
ing trip in Montana.
3ggs-So? How far did lie chase
before he 6~3D~2 Is Chicago
yc
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

Christian Science Mother - Eleanor
what is the matter?
Christian Science Child-Oh. nam
ma, got a terrible error of the mn
in my Massachusetts Med
zeal Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

Te-Yes, but all tings come to him
who waits-New York World.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
indian Summer Smiles
By the Medicine Men

I YHAT are you studying now?'
w asked Mrs. Cumrox.
''We have taken up the sub
ject of molecules" answered her son.
II hope you will be very attentive
and practice constantly. 1 tried to get
your father to wear one, but he COULDN'T
make it stay in his eye.' - Medical
Standard.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23
DO YOU GET UP
WITH A LAME BACK /?
Kidney Trouble Makes You Miserable.

Almost everybody who reads the news,
papers is sure to know of the wonderful
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

bladder specialist, and is wonderfully
successful in promptly curing lame back,
uric acid, catarrh of the bladder and
Bright's Disease, which is the worst
form Of kidney trouble.
| DIR. Ki1mer's SWamp-E20Ot is not rec
commended for everything but if you have
kidney, liver or bladder trouble it will be
found just the remedy you need. It has
been tested in so many ways, in hospital
work and in private practice, and has
proved SO successful in every case that
special arrangement has been made by
which all readers Of this paper, who have
not already tried it, may have a sample
bottle sent free by mail, also book tell
ing more about Swamp Root, and how to
findout if you have kidney or bladder trou-
bic. When writing mention reading this
generous offer in this paper and send your
address to DR.. Ki1ner SIX
& Co., Binghamton, 19s::s!s.ss37l
N. Y. The regular s ss.4sss
ffty-cent and one z zS44@ss3@
dollar size bottles are Home of swamp-ROOt.
sold by all good druggists. Don't make
any mistake, but remember the name,
Swamp-Root, DR.. Ki1mer's Swamp-Root,
and the address, Binghamton, N Y, on
every bottle.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-06-23

address to DR.. Ki1mer
& Co., BinghamtOn,
N. Y. The regular
fifty-cent and one
dollar size bottles are
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1906-06-02
THIRD DISTRICT CONVENTION.

The Third District Republican CONVEX
ton will be held i'm City hall. WaterViiie'
Tuesday. June 26. 1906 at il o'clock \; M.
for the purpose OF nominating a c.', t,,a
date for Congress To be voted for AT tie
State election. Monday. September w.
1906. -, =, &c
follows: Each city, town and piant,',t" n
will be entitled to one delegate ana io !,
each as votes cast for the RepuplS, !; Il
candidate for Governor in 1904 an a1u !,
tional delegate; and for fraction OF ~
votes in excess of Is votes. further auu,-
tional delegate. Vacancies IN the delesa,
ton of any city. town or plantation ca,
only be filled by residents Of the county
In which the vacancy EXISTS:
The District committee will be IN ses..
sion in the reception room of the haii ~
go A. NJ of the day of the convennoh, y
for the purpose OF receiving crede ai,I y
Of delegates. In order to be eligible L
participate in the convention, delegate:
must be elected subsequent to date OF th'
call for this convention.
JOHN, SUTMINSBY.
r. w. BLACK,
w II. WILDES.
... q KINSMAN
r.. District Committee.
Dated SATURDAY., May L. 1876.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1906-06-02
IV--ISLANDS.

"Among the very numerous Islands
IN III. ocean and bays which skirt the
shores of Maine. many are stil the
property of the State, put exactly
which is not known. No full schedules
have ever been made of them though
MANS of them exist among the docu-
ments donated to the state by Massa-
chusetts During the past year progress
has been made in aScertalning the
state of the title to these islands, but
~, ait,iculty of the task and very great
NUMBER of them makes the work a
| Glow one. Frequent applications are
made for the purchase Of one or anoth-
ar hut no sales have been ventured II
lie present state Of the records. Tn
| ,arrectins of these schedules witt
nroper entries of the character. posi-
fion. and other necessary information
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1906-06-02
UI-EESERVED LOTS

mrhe care and oversight Of the publ"
,ots reserved in the grants made by
This state and Massachusetts. until the
township is incorporated Is also with
the land Agent. and has heretofore Re-
on;r,d no little attention The town
ships in which these reservations have
becn made and which have as vet not
hoan incorporated are several hundred
in number. Many. indeed the most Of
these. however. require no attention.
;n,smuch as the right to take off TIM
her and grass has been sold, and moth
ing further will be necessary to nave
dnne until some organization is effect
| a1