davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
-LAyHA WKER JOTS

Hoch and Kelly are both members of
the Olathe city council but they are
not the same individuals that sit on the
state executive council.
A new author has come out of cen
trail Kansas. A Boston publisher has
just issued a volume of fiction entitled,
THE Curseof the Moontrecells,' by
John G. Baird of Vesper, little place
in Lincoln county. Mr.. Baird writes
some good verse, as well as fiction.
NJ. F. Amrine of the Council Grove
Guard, is wrestling with the typhoid
fever, with good prospects Of coming
out on top. OF course Mrs. Amrine is
kept at home looking after him, which
perhaps accounts for the fact that the
Guard was not as good at guarding this
week Is usual.
Chilly item in the Troy Chief: G.
Leland, jr., shipped in four car loads Of
ice last week and packed it away in his
ice house Tt Is the prettiest Ice ever
seen here. It came in cakes from three
to five feet long and they were ten
inches thick. The largest cakes weigh
ed about 500 pounds.
After six individuals have stopped in
to tell how to run the paper, recon-
mending six different ways the Cuba
We have always with US. When Ga
briel blows his last trumpet, it says,
some disagreed Bile carper will complain
that he did not strike the right key.
neighborly towards Manhattan. just
listen to this in the Times: Another
/ bank has been started in Manhattan.
4 The reason why there is so much
money in that town is because no citi-
zen thereof ever spends a cent of 1t
after the students give it up for board. -
Story by the Cuba Daylight: A Ger
! tain farmer, living near Cuba. has a
bright boy of whom he is very proud
and the other day he decided to find
out the bend of his boys mind, and
adopted a novel method to test him
he slipped into the angels room the
| next morning and placed on his table
a silver dollar, Bible and a bottle of
whisky Nov" he said. when the
boy comes in If he takes the dollar he
IS going to be a business man; il he
takes the Bible he is going to be a
| preacher, but If he takes the whisky
he will be a drunkard no good at ALL
He then hid behind the door to see
which one the boy would choose. In
came the boy whistling; he went to
the table and put the dollar in his
1 pocket, took the Bible and placed il
under his arm. and reached for tbs
whisky. took several drinks. put the
bottle in his pocket and went out
smacking his lips. AS the boy disap-
peared the old farmer poked his head
out from behind the door and with &
look of horror exclaimed: GOOD
heavens. He is going to be a politi-
ciani"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

EFrom the Chicago News
Better an impudent enemy than an
imprudent friend.
Some men are known by the work
they refuse to do.
Few people overtax their fntenects in
behalf of others.
AS molasses attracts flies so does a
busy man attract loafers.
A woman can throw a hint straighter
than man can throw a rock
The man who knows enough to at
tend to his own business knows
enough.
Sunday is a day of rest for men and
a day for women to wash their hair.
A homely girl always selects a girl
homelier than herself for her brides
maid.
Don't think that because a man
wears a large hat he is the head of the
house.
woman never likes to admit that
she is beaten-even after her husband
beats her.
Even a woman who is not deceitful
tries to walk in way that will not sug-
gest cOrns.
Every man is willing to patch up
quarrel-providing he is allowed to
select the patch.
It frequently happens that mans
meanness isn't noticed until after he
suddenly acquires a little money.
Some people act the fool Intentional
~ while others who have no histrionic
ability whatever attain similar results.
According to the eternal fitness of
things the father of twins should be
doubly thankful-but somehow he
isn't.
You may have noticed that there is
always a coat of dust on the family
bible in the home where religion is used
as a cloak.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

is the present speaker of the house.
The people of that district would be
foolish to think OF dispensing with tbs
services OF 50 good man as 5.Ubbs.
so long as he is willing to serve tl1enl
and the pcorIe of that district havs
shown by tBeir votes that they are
not foolish. People may differ from Mr..
Stubs, they may not endorse his can
didacy for the United States senate,
or his fight on the railroads, but they
can not truthfully say that he does
not make a good member CT the 1sgls-
lature. It is a good thing for Joe Bris-
tow. Charley Curtis and Phil Camp
bell that the voters of Stubbs' district
do not settle the question of who VIII
be the successor Of Senator Burton or
the stuff would be all Off .
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
GLOBE SIGHTS.


GFrom the Atchison Globe.l
The poorer the family the more pets
they have.
Ever know a man able to make his
guarantee good2
There is not as much joy in kissing
as some people imagine.
A man always looks shiftless II he is
followed by more than one dog.
A great deal of foolishness is includ-
ed in the term "eccentricity-"
Some people say there never was
victory worth the fight preceding it.
Ever know that a shotgun is manu-
featured for the use of cross-eyed peo-
pleg
Women have a notion that 1t is IN
ladylike to look in a barber shop when
they pass along the street
It is as natural for a man to long
to go fishing on Sunday as it is for
a woman to long to go to church.
AS soon as men become tired of
famous five cent cigar, the manufac-
turer gives it new name, and a new
start.
When you regard one of your &C
quaintances as queer" you may de-
pend upon it that he thinks you are
funny"
When man tells his story" al
ways remember that he exaggerates
it. and that he isn't fair with the other
fellow.
When a woman gives up. and quits
struggling, she is good deal happier
than when in constant fear that she
viii be an old maid.
We are afraid of women, anyway,
but we are particularly afraid of a
woman who wears long kid gloves: the
kind that reach to the elbow.
A correspondent asks: DO you be-
lieve the women chase the men2" We
are trying to avoid all violent contro-
versies. and refuse to state
When a woman makes up her mind
that she won't do her own work-that
she must always have a sgirls-that
means bad times ahead for her hus-
band
When two old friends meet. after a
long absence, they eye each other very
much as two strange dogs do: Each
one is seeing if the other has held his
own.
You have probably noticed that loaf
ers are usually nen who, from a fin
anciaI standpoint, are least entitled to
be idle The industry that acquires
competence becomes a habit, and makes
Ioafng a burden.
Lately an Atchison woman in talking
to a school teacher said, with the sa-
cred-look-o motherhood expression
You know nothing about it: You were
never a mother" well, said the
teacher, Il have q children and you
have only five"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

A small but belligerent dog was left
in charge of a buggy while his master
attended to some business in a neigh
boring store. says q Texas exchange
large dle-complexioned cur hap
pened along that way, and. seeing moth
ing about the buggy to guard it, ex-
cept the small dog, concluded to help
himself to some provisions he saw in
the vehicle, supposing that his size
would bluff the guard.
To his establishment the small dog
did not bluff worth a cent, but, on the
contrary, made a running jump. climb
ing all over the brindle cur, and bit
him in four different places within
three seconds by the watch. IT was a
great surprise party to the brindIe cur,
and filling the surrounding atmosphere
with bowls of pain, he lit out down the
street.
AS the small dog quietly lay down
again under the buggy, he remarked
softly to himself, II have noticed dur
ing my association with both dogs and
men that nerve and activity count for
a blamed sight more than size and
hair"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
JOURNAL ENTRIES

It always makes 4 woman mad to
hear that her husband has been off
playing poker. She thinks he ought
to do his poker playing at home, with
her holding the poker.
incidentally the sweet girl graduate
viii soon be ripe. This is not meant
to be news, but just a reminder.
= Here is some free advice to Andy
Carnegie: If that Georgia woman
who stole a kiss from you is pretty,
demand that she give it back 9th
erwise let the incident pass unnoticed.
In his speech in congress on "6e-
horned" alcohol, Victor Murdoch as
serted that in using alcohol all IN
pleasant odors and fumes are avoided
WIN Congressman Murdock kindly
furnish Bill Doolittle with the ad-
dress where that kindso alcohol can
be procured? Bits friends will great
~ appreciate such information.
We are waiting as patiently as pos
slble for the season to get here when
there will be more than one strawberry
in our piece Of shortcake.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
KANSAS cOAMENT
NOW HE'S MAD,


When Maxim Gorlxy decided to Wis
It the United States he made a com
tract with a French publisher to write
his impressions of America. Yester-
day the publisher received a cable-
gram from Gorky in which he makes
bitter attack on the United States.
Gorky says that Americans are the
same splitting. vulgar persons that
Charles Dickens found them. Personal
liberty, he says is as much hampered
in America as it is in Russia. He
realizes that his contemplated lecture
tour IS ruined, but says he is rather
glad than otherwise that it is, for the
sooner he gets out of the wretehed
country the better he will be pleased.
Gorky came to this country with
woman not his wife, and was ordered
out of a New York hotel And now
he's mad. Gorlzy is a revolutionist,
and sends kilograms of congratulation
to murderers. There are thousands of
men of the type of Gorky who should
be chased out of the country. They
tell people of imaginary wrongs. and
make them so discortented that they
have no time to take advantage of
splendid opportunities to get rich. One
quiet, industrious. worthy citizen who
takes good care of his family is worth
q thousand men like Gorky.-Atchison
Globe
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
EROT OTHER PENS


Congressman Lands says the senate
was intended to be slow. so that hasty
and ill-considered measures adopted
by an impetuous house could be
thrashed over and passed or rejected
as mature and deliberate judgment
might dictate Doubtless thas was the
idea of the founders of the constitu-
ton, but isn't it possible that there
might be such things as the senate's
filing the bill too we'll? We know it
is all right for the senate to take its
time in passing a given point, but
when it puts on its specs and takes
twenty years in looking over a pure
food bill we feel like calling IN 1t to
stretch the intent of the fathers of the
constitution and get buss-.-Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
THE sTORK's DECISION.


Since Roosevelt began to talk
About the duty of the Stork
There's not a bird in all the sky
More sadly overworked than 1
I've carried babies in my beak
Until it's really growing weak.
For every workingman / know
Has ordered seventeen or so.
And this has also made me sore
I've carried kittens by the score,
And pugs to those who like such things.
Until I've nearly lost my wings.
But when I'm ordered to the Zoo
To bring an elephant or two
And someone at the Broadway show
Desires a Hippo kid or so,
It's really crowding things too hardi
I'll have to get union card;
And let them order what they like
If it's too heavy can strike,
And Teddy, what a sight twill be
To see him ''arbitra ting" mel
Hoorayl think at last walk
On Easy street confronts the Storh.
New York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
Women Hard to Dismiss.

while in many respects women
work as well as men, they are hard to
discharge said the manager of a down
town business house. For that reason.
many business men after once having
tried women clerks never employ them.
"A man discharged takes the blow
quietly, patiently, courageously. It
hurts, but he doesn't show it. With a
pale smile he cleans out his desk, col
lects his money and departs. So ends
the unpleasant episode But a woman,
when she reads her note of dismissal,
bursts into loud sobs and rushes al once
into the managers ONCE.
" oh, please don't discharge me- she
means. Think of the disgrace. I prom
Use to do better; I win, truly. Can't I
have another %hance?'
tShe gets another chance. She could
get anything If IN return she would cut
short that wet and weary scene. And
she repeats it a week or two later if she
is discharged again.
women should learn to take a dis
charge decently. A discharge is not
necessarily a disgrace. and It is always
nearly as unpleasant for the discharger
as for the discharged. The women who
makes scenes harm their siters as well
as themselves. for many managers, af-
ter participating IN one of these scenes.
refuse to employ another woman
New York Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21


A new force was at work among sAIoros.
and what IN civilized men we rail at as
low and vile became in these savages a
saving virtpe making for peace and pro-
gress The followers of the datto Alag
and the men OF Pugaan. who. on account
of damsel bought and paid for but never
delivered, had for years been attacking
each other on sight. and dared not now
they loved their lives to meet on mar
l1et trail, wiped the score from mem
DRY to come and earn money together on
the American road. The sultan of Ballet
and the sultan of Momungan. next door
neighbors who. in way to rack the nerve
and wreck the best men ever built. had
long been either at war or in a state of
continual guard night and day against
each others raids, forgot the old cannon
that had been the cause of the trouble.
and came to work the road without
friction. Men to whom it had been dis
credit, if not dishonor. to be found with
out arms. gradually came to lay them
aside al the white mans insistence, for a
short time at least while they labored.
Harder still for a Noro-whose law Is an
eye for an eye, conduct for conduct TO all
generations dattO, a favorite of mine,
under the same influence, came after six
months to look. If not with forgiveness,
al least without excitement and feyerish
desire to kill. upon a Moro road laborer
of mine. some of whose people in long
gone times had fought and wounded the
datto's grandfather.-R. L. Billiard in the
March Atlantic
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

It Is quite evident that John O.
Royce is exhibiting a truly christian
spirit toward Walter Roscoe Stubs.
When Mr.. Royce was appointed bank
commissioner by Governor Hoch, Mr.
Stubs was very wroth. That appoint
ment. by the way. was one Of the best
things Governor Hoeh has done, not
so much because John O. Royce is a
mighty good man-which he is-but
because it demonstrated that E. ".
Hoch was governor and not a figure
head. Now Mr.. Royce is turning the
other cheek to Mr.. Stubs. Listen to
this delightful purr IN the Phillips
burg Dispatch this week:
"A number of the enemies. Of W. r.
Stubs thought they could defeat him
for denomination to the legislature,
but being a Missourian, he showed
them. OF course they cut his ma
5ority down. but there never was Gay
when he was IN danger OF de-
feat. Stubs has made a good mem
Der Of the legislature, representing the
state University district Of Kansas, and
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

piled cheerfuIly.
Poly exclaimed her aunt, staring
at her niece, what in the world have
you got my dress on for2g
Why, Aunt Cornelia,. I was Just try
ing it on when Mr. Winters rang. and
had no time to change.
And do you know said John, COM
pelling Polly's averted eyes to meet his,
for just half an instant Is you open
ed the door, I thought you were Miss
Latin, and thin / at once recognized
you as the young lady I saw alighting
from the train last night"
Copyright. 1906. by Beatrix feade-)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

The Smith County Journal. a Demo-
cratic paper. thinks J. r. Bristow is
good enough to be a Democrat. This
viii probably be startling intelligence
20 Mr. Bristow. Here is the bouquet
handed out by the Smith county paper:
eff it falls to the Republicans to elect
the successor to Burton in the senate
there are q whole lot of Democrats
who would like to see the horror fall
on Joe Bristow, of Saline. He is the
cIeanest. brightest anu brainiest Re
publican in the state. He ought TO
be a Democrat"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

When Bank Commissioner Royce
desires to put himself in exceptionally
good humor he thiaks how he has
been vindicated up in Phillips county
Mr. Royce told the truth about the
county treasurer. whom nearly every
one liked because he was a. good fell
dow" OF course Royce was soundly
abused, but now the accountant finds
that the treasurer was over $4,000
short
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

Ewing Herbert's great mistake ap-
pears to have been in asking the post
Office department if he could attend
the Republican state convention. It is
reported that there were thirty-nine
Dostmasters at the recent Sixth district
convention. They forgot to ask Wash
lngton about it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
REFLECTIONS or A BACHELOR
IFrom the New York Press

A man can make more Of a success
in the world looking ponpous than he
can having brains.
The nice thing about flirting to a girl
IS she never knows when she is going to
mean ii.
There are mighty few women who
wouldn't rather have slim ankles than
a good husband.
You can tell when a woman isn't IN
terested in what you are saying to her
BY the way she pretends she IS.
More interesting men would go into
the ministry If they didn't have TO
preach sermons and set good examples.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
DIVORCE.

The need of a uniform divorce law
throughout the entire United States
seems so obvious as hardly to require
argument in its favor. The present
hodge-podge of state laws opens the
door to all sorts of abuses aud incon-
sistencies. The merely discontented
husband and wife are almost invited
to unyoke and seek a new partner by
the present "unrivaled facilities" adj
vertised by many of the states.@New
York Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

cit Is better says Deacon Walker.
'tto live unknown and in obscurity for
seventy years than to acquire fame at
thirty and then pass in your checks =
1t Is also better than to acquire great
fame by passing checks that are not
Zonr own.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

A fire having broken out in a Ger
man town. the customs official refused
to allow Swiss firemen to cross the
border to extinguish it unless they
paid duty on their engine. There
should be a place in Uncle Sans SER
vice for this faithful oficiaL-New
York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
BIrr &c RnADs ARE I'D

The governor Of Maryland has
vetoed a road bill that was intended to
compel the railroads to furnish free
transportation to all members of the
legislature in that state. The governor
did right. Maryland is such a small
state that the legislators can walk #
necessary. and the exercise will no
doubt do them Chicago Rec
ord-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
ouAKER REFLEcT1oNs.

From the Philadelphia Record.l
The Welsh rarebit. too. IS yellow
peril.
Too many coy corners viii drive a
man to the club.
Even the office that seeks the man
must first see the boss.
What a man does is seldom so impor-
tant as what he is going to do.
If we had our lives to live over we
would all make our mistakes easier
The greatness that is thrust upon a
man generally goes to his head.
Sweet are the uses Of adversely, but
like olives, it's a cultivated taste.
A true friend is one who won't hold
you responsible tomorrow for what you
say today.
wigg' Young saphedde moves in
the best circles Perhaps that's
the reason he doesn't get very far
ahead"
I'VE should learn a lesson from the
busy bee who is always storing up
for some man to come along and take
away from him. added the Simple
Mug.
Our coal, be It furnace or CRATE.
Be it egg. pea or chestnut-or slate.
Though its color be dark
I have cause to remark,
It is always quite light in its weight.
sir why do you stare me out of coun-
Pardon the apparent rudeness: I was
but gazing into vacancy. Town Topics.
It is a difficult matter to treat a man
for drunkenness As a rule, the more you
treat him, the drunken he gets-Philade1-
phia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
cnMFnRrINGt

W. r. Stubs was nominated in the
Douglas county primary Saturday for
another term in the legislature. J. l..
Brady. who was stubbs' running mate
and publisher Of two papers there,
vas defeated. We have always said
that newspapers man had no busi-
ness running for office in his home
county.-Abilene Reflector
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21
GoRKY's IMPRESSIONS

After Maxim sGorlky had been IN
New York three days he retired to
secret retreat for the purpose of writ
ing his Impressions Of America. After
he has finished this stupendous job he
may come out and see some OF the
rest of the country Chicago Record
Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

The Democrats of Smith county are
still "depIoring'' the retirement of ".
"A. Harris from the United States sen
ate, but they are willing to let it pass
81 they can elect Senator Harris gov
ernor OF Kansas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

The season Of duh peace Which has
apparently settled upon the times will
soon give way to the strenuous life.
The Daughters of the American Reyo-
luton will soon hold their annual con-
gress in Washington. - Baltimore
American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

The pretty things are not always the
most useful. The diamond brooch
won't do half the work that a good
safety pin will
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

Here is another funny thing about
1906 politics: It makes a Republican
editor feel proud now to be accused Of
printing stuff that sounds like popu-
7s-~-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

Mr. Bryan ought to have been.
thoughtful enough to have spiked his
platform down if he did not want the
Republicans to carry it away.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

Looks as though it might be a cold
winter this summer for those divorce
lawyers at Sioux Falls.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

Let's see: Isn't it about time for
Count Witte to resign some more?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

Let's see: Did any amateur proph-
ct foreteu those volcanic eruptions
and earthquakes2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

Incidentally Henry Allen doubtless
thinks he knows of one or two men
whom the presidents description of a
s'muck-raker' fitted.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

Some of these Republican resolu-
tions this year carry the old Kansas
farmers back to the days of 81 and
the Farmers Alliance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

Russia isn't in it any more since
the eruption in Italy and the shake-up
In California.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-21

An old man Of. eighty, a veteran Of
three wars. has recently married in
Boston. He said he thought there was
another fght in hirn.@AGinneapo
Journal