The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1906-09-21

friends.
In his speech at New Haven and
again in Newark Mr.. Bryan says the
Republican party has been doing to
excuse its failure to curb the trusts.
When he launches this yarn he pulls
down the corners Of his mouth in n
quizzical manner affects drawl and
slowly moves his head from side to
side as if his was the task to rccite the
obituary over the body Of one lately
departed.
"Thero was once man," goes Mr..
Bryan's story, "who was sued in
Court for returning with n crack
across the bottom Of it kettle he had
borrowed from neighbour The neigh
was very angry.
"Thc man who was sued put up
three defcnces. First he said that he
hadn't borrowed the kettle. When that
failed he said that the kettle was
cracked when he borrowed it. And
finally when his second argument was
disproved lie said that he had mcnded
the crack before he returned the kct-
tie.
"And that,' concludes Mr.. Bryan,
is the way the Republican party de-
fcnds itself against The charges of
not keeping its promises on the sub
jcct Of trust rcgulaton.'
The Ncbraskan s argument that the
Republicans draw campaign funds
out of the pockets Of the men who
find the high tariff to their advantage
he finds well illustrated by story
which is not altogether new. After
explaining his belief that no Republi-
can dare touch the present tariff for
fear of offending those who, he al
leges, contribute the money for the
campaign work, Mr.. Bryan tells the
following:
There was once man who went in
to clothing store. lie stole coat
and started to run down The street.
The clothing dealer hurried out into
tho street and shouted. "Stop theifl'
but the thief would not stop.
Then the clothicr appealed to a
policeman and the policeman shouted
"Stop thief!' the thief would not
stop. Then the policeman drew his re.
volver and shouted to the fleeing
theft, "Stop, or IN fire !" Then the
excited clothier cried ont to The police
man:
"Shoot him in the pants; the coat
belongs to me! ~
$50 there you are" concludes Mr..
Bryan after reciting this anecdotc.
"The Republican party don't dare to
shoot the thieving trusts in the coat,
because the coat belongs to them. They
don't dare to shoot the trusts in the
pants becaNse the pants belong to
them. They don't dare to shoot any
where, for fear of hitting something
that belongs to them.'
Mr.. Bryan sometimes makes Jokes
at the expense of himself and of the
issues on which he has met defeat.
While he was being taken over to
Newark on the third day of his stay
in New York he told the newspaper
men this tale:
"My former campaigns and the re-
suits that came of them remind mo of
man who came out to Nebraska to
take up farm," said he. "This man
was grccnhorn and he did not know
much about the cyclones that some
times visit our prairics. But he had
some sort Of wisdom.
"He put strange looking wooden
fence about his place that looked like
a chicken coop. 1t was built in q tri-
angular shape. a farmer drove by
when this greenhom was putting up
his fence and commented upon its ap-
parent instability.
Why, the first good wind that
D comes along, he said, will blow your
fence over like jackstraws.
- 'Oh, all right said tho green
horn, who was also an optimist. my
J. fence is five feet broad at the bottom
!, and four feet high. If it blows over
It will be foot higher than it is now.
attThat's what 7 hope my political
Il fence is like,' said Bryan with a
Alaugh. i.
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Is Another Bryan story was lifted bod