davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
The Drama of Dtogenes.
Act i

,Aristarchus (seeing Diogenes nosins
around with ght)-Ah, there, old
boy, what are you doing with that Ian,
terms
Diogenes (stoically)-Looking for an
honest man.
- Act II.
Time, four hours later.
Aristarchus (meeting Diogenes with
out the ight)-Hello! Have you found
your honest man9
Diogenes (wrathfully) No; I'm
looking for the son Of a gun who stole
my lantern. M. S, r,
Portland, Ore. =
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
What Might Have Happened.

Two Irishmen stood by the side Of a
was the foreman of the section crew and
the other was his brother just over
from the old country. The road was the
main line of one Of our western roads
and the men were a short distance from
the mouth Of a tunnel that went under
the side Of a mountain.
The foreman gave the order to clear
the way for the limited and then to his
brother he said, "Now, Mike, I will show
you one Of the finest trains on earth. -
The train came and went flying past
them and into the tunnel out of sight
before Mike had hardly had q glimpse
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
The Creation,

HDe Lawd made de, sea an he rested
an he made de. fishes an rested, an
he made de IAN an he rested. He
made der trees an de YARDS, and he
rested, an de beasties and. he rested.
He made man an he rested, an den
he made woman. Brew 'ren, neither de
Lawd nor man has rested, since. " :, :.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
MISS olson. Confirmed. IT,

:s:Ii;iftae. Mildred Game !: drumming to her
'niothsEstos tell eof:: fResnewsdog that the
Olson .chiId Sen, next door; chad. gotten.
.aske d.sS. ~ {. s. .:ssi::s..>': g..
g Yumb6;s. saids NJ ildred: ~
3 Oh Should say jumbo, sdear, ., cor
Tectesd the mo- heE: 81: .. =. e.
e Ssss he Olsdns Rildren s.say,.s Yumbo,'
said I'M Linz def ense::S
sst 81 he: way. to say i
ssna de e; er:s 2 IdIed: .disap-
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
Didn't Hurt the Fish.

Old Jake was q notorious Sabbath
breaker and quite a wit as we'll. Early
one morning he called at the minister S
and presented him with string Of fine
trout, remarking as he turned away:
= 1T suppose I ought to tell you, par
son, that them trout was caught yes.
terday.''
! >"WeH, jake" replied the minister
"There is one thing certain, the he trout tr
Fargo, N. D. =.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
THIRD PRIZE.
This Story Gets 50.
Fair Morning.

( All MOrung.
A little boy was kept after school
with him. Finally she said:
81 certainly shall have to ask your
father to come and see me-
1'Don't do that,' replied the boy.
The teacher thought she had made an
impression, and so she said: eyes, I
must send for your father.''
'You had better not,' said the boy.
"Why not?' inquired the teacher.
Cause he charges So visit,'' re,
piled the boy E. c..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
English Appreciation of Humor.

At session of court, when the Judge
requested the calling Of the next wit
ness, the name Sarah Money was called
several times with no response. The
judge then gravely remarked, "We will
proceed without CEREMONY
Everyone laughed aloud with the ex-
ception Of one old English farmer, who
sat sober as the judge himself. Four
hours afterwards, on his way home, the
joke came to him, and he nearly burst
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
An Injun Rubber Bissikle,

III II1J ttI1 1VttVDoI D1oo1AIo'
The following is letter received by
a leading bicycle firm in one of the
eastern cities:
Deer Sur: I live on my farm near
Hamilton, Kansas, and am 81 yrs old
and little sporta. My neffew in In
diana bot hisself new bissikle and
sent me his old one by frate, and I've
learned to ride sumo. It's a pile of
fun but my bissikle jolts considerable.
A Teller come along yestiddy with a
bissikle what had holler injun rubber
tires stuffed with wind. He let me try
hissin and mi, it run like kushen. He
told me you sell injun rubber tires jest
the same as hissin. Mine is all iron
wheels. Do you punch the holler hole
thru the injun rubber or will I have
the ends together after YOU aG get ? it done e
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
Spoiled the Ensemble.

A southern planter was asking one
of his colored servants about her we'd
ding.
Eyes, suh,' she said, cit was jes
de finest wedlin' you ever see-six
bridesmaids, flowers everywhere, hun
dredss Of guests, music an er heap er
prayin'.' !:
"Indeed,'' commented her master
"and I suppose Sambo looked as hand
some as any of them?o
An embarrassed pause, "Well no
not Exactly, sub. Would yer believe
it, dat fool niger neber showed up!'
Helen futile.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
Mark Twaiu's MOVING

One day Mark Twain, at the age Of
II, was standing in front of shop win
dow with a. cigar box under his arm.
An old lady of his acquaintance, seeing
him, said: e.:
"Mr. Clemens, am sorry that again
you are indulging in the bad habit of
smoking.'
~ am not smoking, I am moving,'
said he. ". s.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
Aunty q Hard Drinker.

"Have you looked up the, meaning
Of the. word imbibes, Fanny9'' asked
a teacher in one Of our schools.
eyes, ma 'am,' said Fanny. y.
"Well, what does It mean9H
"To take tn.'
eyes; now give me a sentence using
the word.''
"My aunt imbibes boarders!''
Benson, MINI, IS. M.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03

YOUR Your. rubber is. alFeadN Silgrs;;
will it come any cheaper emPty:2a /
can get all the wind I want out here
in Kansas free.
P. Show much do you charge for
the doodad you stuff the wind into the
rubber with and where do you starts
Sherwood, N. D. C. O. D.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
The Exclamation.

Belle Gin Stock Exchange gallery
What hubbubl Why don It they sit
down and rest?''
Maud--Oh, it costs too much. Rich
ard told me that seat there costs
thousands Of dollars. IS. l.. G..
kasson, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
All She Saw.

Detective-Did you see a man and
woman driving past here in dogcart
about an hour ago?
Mrs. Blank-Yes.
"Ah, we're getting on the track Of
them. What kind of horse was it?''
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03

Reliability and asked: Are You aaYe
of the nature Of an oath?''
"Indade, yer HONOR he replied, cit
is sicond nature with me-
Mrs. L. M. J.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03

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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03

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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
Kind of Boarders to Have.

Kind Of Boarders to Have. "
Said the chambermaid in a little
southern hotel, 81 amt got no use for
is persistent DO 'ders. "A. P,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03

zzxsss1lgll1zz7 g54 gas: 1sszGIg zsszEz $ {ll5s
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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03

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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03

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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03

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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03

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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03
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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03

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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03

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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-06-03

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Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
Notice To Taxpayers Of 1906.

The period for allowing discount on taxes
ofthis year. 1.-THE Levy Of 1906 expired Orto-
Der 8oth, 1906, and during NoNcmber lNsh, no
discount will therefore be allowed, ana All
taxes remaining unpaid after the 0th day OF
Novcm her. 1906. shall be IN arrear. and IN
terest viii he charged. and collected thereon,
nom the first OF September. lp06. And all
tax bills not paid by the first OF December,
1900, will be reported to the Corporation. and
action will thereafter be taken promptly 20
collect the same by due course OF law
WINSON q. GOTT,
collector & Treasurer.
Ofice-l7 School street. nie
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

The city Commissioner says he
finds his time pretty much taken up
with making people do things, indeed
ID is case of making them over, and
making them 10 order. IL man 5
or woman 5 sidewalk needs repair and
the city Commissioner notifies the
offender, the law allows them twenty
days in which To make the repairs.
and they usually take the benefit iof
the time limit. Human nature is
the same the world over.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
Notice to Taxuavers of 1905.

Notice Is hereby given that al property.
upon which IA es are due for the year iyJs
mas been levied and distrainod on. which
lew was made by tho service Of the Bin ana
Notice recently delivered 10 you by the Con-
stable aud IL viii be advertised for sale II tho
said taxes are not paid by November 81. fto,
and then. - days amer said advertisements
IN the taxes are still unpaid, the properly
VIII be sold at Public sale.
WINSON a. GOTT.
Collector & Treasurer.
Oniee.-i7 school street. nj
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
PENNSYLVANIA
RAILROAD
ehsdule in effect MayEz7th. 1900
RoR mas wRsT AND NoRTH

PoR THE WEST AND NORTH
Leave Union station Baltimore as follows
$50 A. NJ, Plttsburg Express and Chicago
Special.
sll.b5 A. NJ, Main Line Express.
sI1oP.M.. sThe Pennsylvania Limited
for Chicago. Cincinnati, AMIDST LOUIS.
camp. NJ. aSt. Louis Limited" for Indian
apolis and 81. Louis.
4.55 p. NJ, pennsylvania specisf' u hours
10 Chicago.
s4b5P NJ, Chicago and 81. Louis Exnress'i
100 p. NJ. Chicago Limited.
sg.so p. NJ, st. Louis Express.
$50 p. NJ. Western Express and iClsVsianu
and Cincinnati Express.
sa.55 p. M, Pittsburgh Special.
sil55 p. NJ. Pacific Express.
"a A. NJ. daily. for Lock Haven.
$50 A. NJ. daily. for BuGSlo via emporium
Junctionl, Erie, and weekdays TOT hoShes
ter.
umA. M. daily for Remove aud weekdays,
for Elmira.'
i IS 2. NJ, daily, for Wiliiamsport.
SOP. NJ daily, for Buffalo.
Pm. daily, for Erie and Rochester
sDIning Car.
w, w. ATTERBURY, General Manager
I.R. WOOD, Passenger Traffic Manager,
GEO. w. BOYD General Passenger Agent
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
PROPOSALS.

DROPOSA us viii be received ~ the Bureau
ofSHppiies and Accounts, Navy Depart
ment, Washington, ID. 6, until u O'clock a n.
December 9Th. 1906. and publicly opened
Immediately thereafter, 10 furnish At the
Naval academy, Annapolis. Nd, a quantity
OF naval supplies as follows: Filing
machine, hardware, leather betting, sheet
brass, bar iron. etc, sheet packing, gasoline,
iron pipe and fittings, blueprint paper,
etc, stationery, foundry facings. APP
plicatlons for proposals should refer TO
Schedule 30. Blank proposals will be fur
nished upon application to the navy pay
Office. Baltimore. ND, or 10 the Bureau
Il. 4. b. HARRIS, PAaMAsTEE-GENERA
USN. Ii-i206.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
IA For SALE u
FARMS, HOUSES AND LOTS.

1. Valuable water front on Eastport side
OF Annapolis harbor at foot OF Fifth street,
fronting on Fifth street bout 10 feet wharf
on premises; navigable waters for large YES
sells.
2 Also Lot No. $50 on Chesapeake Avenue
with a 'front.' OF 50 feet and depth ofl6i feet.
3. Small house and lot near the city limits
at q bargain.
4, g6Acres ofland near Chesterfield with a
good dwelling house, large tobacco barn,
corn crib, stable, and young orchards.
Telephone railroad station, school, and
church nearby.
g. Vacant lot at East port fronting 81 feet
on Chesapeake Avenue with a depth OF 1854
feet.
g Valuable farm I'm the Third District
near Robinson's Station on the Annapolis
ond Baltimore Short Line Railroad, consist
ing OF 1870 acres improvements.
7. Valuable farm OF 1870 Acres at Millers-
Vile. with fine buildings, good land, and all
modern conveniences.
3. Small House and Lot near Camp Pa
role. Remission i've dollars ner month.
For terms and particulars, apply to the
undersigned enclosing return postage.
JAMES NJ. MUNROE, Attorney
OF Annapolis, Nd
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
FOR SALE.

LIST. A Iofof ground fronting - feet on
Chesa peake Avenue. In EaStport, improved
by a SMALL DWELLING.
end. A lot fronting lgi5 feet or tho south
side OF East street, in the city ofAnnapolis,
Improved by a SMALL DIV EiILlN1.
3rd. lot fronting 10 feet on the NortbeAst
side Of johnson street. In said city, improved
by a SMALL DWELLING.
lth a lot fronting ~ feet on the NofiheAst
side OF johnson strect,tn said city, improved
by a SMALL. DWELLING.
9Th. A lot fronting - feet on the West side
of Pleasant street, in said city, improved by
a SMALL DWELLING.
6th. A lot fronting 1874 feet on Cathedral
street, In said city, improved by SMALL
DWELLING.
For particulars apply TO
JAMES X. BRASHEARS,
Attorney for owner
Arundel Building, Annapolis, Md. NJ
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

4 It is said that the new railway 10
siberia through The tunnel under the
Behnig Sea will not be completed for
nifty years. II is barely possible that
the Canal will be ready by that time
for the Russians who come over by the
tunnel to return by Panama.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

: Anna Hold's diamonds, which were
stolen i'm Pullman car have shrunk
in value from s93. 600 to $1,000. Ii
would not be surprising TO find that
she really did lose a rhinestone stick
pin in her berth.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

In regard TO the anti-hrihery move
rnent Somerset county is described as
ripe for it, thus being dinerentiat-
ed from other Eastern Shore counties
where conditions are over-ripe. -Fpd-
criok News.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
N O

take this method OF notifying the patrons
ofthe London & Lancashire Fire Insurance
Company and also that of the Orient lnsur-
ance Co, That have been appointed agent
for both Companies. Any one desiring any
changes or orders placed on the policies of
either Company will please call upon me
and viii cheerluily and Immediately place
such orders without extra expense to the
assured. All renewals in these two Com
panies Will be made by me.
&c. WHEATLEl,
H2 Prince Geo. ST.,
ol62m Annapolis, Md
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

z The President left the Canal zone a
day earlier than he expected. lie
firmly convinced that it's place
where any one might feel privileged
To live hut business. would not per
NIT his lingering longer.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

Mrs. sage, with $50, 600, 900 10 give
away, is surprised at the number
who viii take all or any. The
amount, immense as it is. is vastly
ovorbid.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

While Harry Thaw is resisting the
attempt to prove him insane, rcla-
tive of his is contesting an action To
declare him drunkard. It's cold
day when the Thaws are overlooked.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

Mr.. Roosevelt is said To have eaten
u 30-cont lunch in a Panama restau-
rant lie also stocked coal ON the
Louisiana, but that is not saying he
wouldd like to do either all his life.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

The cuban revolution Is thoroughly
quelled according 10 all news from
there. clad we are not able to say
the same of the Daughters of the
American Revolution.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

2 Anent the Governors proclamation.
We do not find the absence of the troll
ley line enumerated among the causes
for Thanksgiving.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

The Standard oil has hired a new
attorney at salary of $3.50, COCA year.
II evidently believes that piecework
will not do in its present straits.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

Now everybody in New York will
want to see and hear Caruso, the tenor
who was arrested for annoying a
woman in Central Park.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

President Roosevelt says he would
like to see one of his sons working
on the Panama Canal. Swinging a
pick
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
The Price of Peace.

The terrible itching and smarting incl
dsnt 10 certain skin diseases is almost in
stantly allayed by applying Chamberlain
calve. Price Is cents. For sale at Esll
meyer Bros. Drug Store.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

II Is reported that Madame Gould
will marry an actor. The said actor
advance agent is probably responsible
for the report.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

STATE or MARYLAND,
County Of AnHe ArEssdel, IS
/. l.. ~. GASSAWAY, Cashier. of the
above-named bank, do solcmny swear that
the above statement is true to the best of my
knowledge and belief
l.. ID. GASSAWAY, Cashier.
Subscribed and sworn 10 before me this
18th day OF November, 1906.
J. ROLAND BRADY,
Notary Public.
Correct-Attest
JAS. RENELI,
j. WRIT RANDALL,
GRAFTON ID. RIDOUT,
Directors
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

President Roosevelt has given the
ditch digers at Panama some good ad-
vice. Now let the dirt fly.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

\ fool and his money are soon
l-ed runs the old saw, but the
modern version has 1t a fool and
his wife's money are soon divorced. =
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

That trial marriage scheme does
not seem to meet with popular favor.
Would like 10 hear Senator Platt S
views.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

The cost of living is SO high that it
would be cheaper TO die if it were not
for the undertakers' union.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

Now we are Co have Wireless Tel
egraph Trust. This proves that the
telegraph is good thing.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

senator Plat is keeping quite a
number Of gentlemen with aspirations
on tho anxious seat.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

/ am authorized TO sell the valuable prop
erty belonging to the Rev. j. NJ. Connolly,
situate on severn River, about two miles
above Annapolis, containing THIRTY
ACRES OF FINE LAND.
The improvements consist of Two Dwell
ingS a Barn and other 0ut-Buildings, also a
Boat House.
The Carriages, Boats, House Furniture,
etc. upon the place Will also be included Ia
the sale.
This beautiful country place. overlooking
the broad Severn River, can be purchased al
a reasonable price. Apply TO
aiSeod GEORGE +. MELVIN.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
COLCHESTER Company.
Fall E..szzc. Schedule.

LEAvEtBALTIMoRE FOR ANNAPOLIS
Monday, Wednesday and Friday. at.-,7 n. m
Saturday. a. m
LEAVE ANNAPOLIS FOR BALTIMORE
Monday, Wednesday. Friday and
Saturday, p m
LEAVE ANNAPOLIS FOR RIVER LANDIRGa.
Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and
saturdays, loa M
Excursion Tickets from Annapolis TO River
Landings, good ON day, 5Scents.
For other Information apply to Agents at
Wharves.
j27 COLCHESTER COMPANY
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
a FOR Rem IT. "a

The STORE and DWELLING with side
hall entrance on Main street, opposite the
Hotel Maryland. Store has one large room,
with cashier counter and desk running
across the entire room, with use of large
Miller Safe. Store has one large front glass
window and two windows I'm rear, cellar and
furnace. Large side hall-four upper rooms,
gas and water on both floors, large yard and
nant $50 per month. Apply Capital Office.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
AnnannIis Washington { Baltic:
Railroad Company In Connection with
Pennsylvania and b. s o. Railroads.

/. Schedule I'm effect September LIST, 1905
Trains leaving Annapolis connect with tha
Pennsylvania r.. II. at Odenton, and the BAT
tfmore & Ohio II. II. at Annapolis Junction
for all points North, East, South and Woat.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

I, The Mint Julep Association IS stor-
ng lis mint until Christmas.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23

Looks like Indian summer has
come 10 stay.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
lie cAPITAI.
RATES or ADVERTISING.

entered At the Annapolis Postonice as Sec
ond Glass Matter
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1906-11-23
Ans FOR SALE ilHi

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