The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-09-07
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She-I wonder what ailment the
kissing germ causes. He-Palpitation
OF the heart-Chicago News.
"Have you met him socially?" Dear
me. no. Only In a business way. /
married his daughter."-Life
Wigg-Do you believe that every
man has his price? Nagg-No. Lots
Of men give themselves away.-Phila-
delphia Record.
You two are thrown together
great deal, aren't your you bet. We
ride home on the same car at six
O'Clock. Leader.
Ethyl-Did Annette get anything out
Of her breach-of promise suit? Babette
Nothing at all; the man decided to
marry her.-Detroit Free Press.
Harduppe-If you will let me have a
flyer shall be everlastingly indebted
to you. Miserleish-Yes. that's why
must decline to let you have it.-Town
and Country.
Are they college men?" mo; mere
ly college boys. Just freshmen" "Ah!
they're not the finished product"
NO; merely 'Rah material" -Phila-
delphia Press.
Curate (who Is going to describe his
little holiday in lovely Lucerne)-My
dear friends-I will not call you ladies
and gentlemen" since l know you too
well."-Punch.
Little Boy-My mamma has so much
money that she can buy everything she
wants to. Little Girl-Thats nothing.
My mamma is so rich she can buy all .
the things she doesn't want.-Puck. ,
women don't have logical minds!"
said Shrewd bluntly. "They don't need
them If they're as lucky as l am" said t
his wife sweetly. you see, have you =
think for me !"-Detroit Free Press. t
"Yes," she sneered, during one of
their frequent quarrels, II married you
for pity, and now "You don't t
get any," he interrupted, "for all our :
friends lavish it Oh me- -Philadelphia 4
Press.
Cadley-No; he isn't in our social set y
any more. Wiseman-So understand. I
Cadley-Yes, he dropped out some time c
ago. Wiseman-Why. he gave me to
understand he climbed out-Philadel-
phia Press.
Teacher-Johnny, for what Is Swift {
erland famous? Scholar-Why-m'm
swiss cheese. Teacher-Oh, some ]
thing grander, more impressive, more l
tremendous. Scholar-Limburger {
cleveland Leader.
Jones-There are some queer turns
In life. Jinks-I know it; turned up {
at girls house tonight. got turned
down and turned out, and now I'm go {
ing home to turn on the gas and turn :
in.-Town Topics.
Gaston-I tell you, old man, Miss
WATKINS is a mighty sensible girl-the
most sensible girl, think, ever knew.
|Alphonse-I think you're right, my boy.
l wouldn't advise you to propose to her.
|-Somerville Journal.
Say, did you hear that Cholly Soft
ed had had a serious operation per-
formed on him lately?" What was it?
Appendicitis" mo; worse than that
His rich uncle cut him out of his will"
Baltimore American.
Mrs. Crawford-It's strange where
all the dust comes from, isn't it? Mrs.
Crabshaw-Yes, indeed! AS far as I
can see the only thing around the
4 house that doesn't gather dust is the
lservant-Harper's Bazaar.
i What was the most important bill
you ever had anything to do within"
asked the Interviewer. ''The sill that
did most for me-" answered Senator
Sorghum, twas a bin for services rem
dered." Washington Star.
you are an angel" the young man
declared. Nonsense" retorted the de-
vout high church damsel. do you
know that the foremost religious digni.
taries have decided that there are 10
angels of the female sex?"-Pittsburg
Post.
Elderly Man (greeting former &C
luuaintance)-I remember your facs
|perfectly, miss, but your name has es-
lcaped me-" The Young Woman-I
|don't wonder. 1t escaped me three
years ago. I am married now.-Chi.
cago Tribune.
II would propose to you, but fear
the effects of the excitement. When
am excited my heart beats so family
that it is scarcely noticeable. well.
you know what the prOverb says"
what proverb?" Faint heart never
won fair lady."-Cleyeland Plain Deal.
er.
Judge" said Mrs. Starvem to the
magistrate who had recently come to
board with her, I'm particularly anx-
llous to have you try this chicken soup"
II have tried it," replied the magis.
trate, land my decision is that the
chicken has proved an alibi."-Phila.
delphia Press.
Mr.. BROWNIE regret to say, dear.
that-er-concerning that birthday gift
1 promised you-er-diamonds are up
in price now, higher than l can afford.
Mrs. Browne>I'm sorry, dear. Mr..