The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-11-10
NATURES METHOD.
A Kicker Who Was Only Speaking
Generally About Teeth.


Generally About Teeth.
otis funny about a persons
teeth" remarked the man who had
ordered soup and chicken hash for
his lunch. "At least it isn't so
blamed funny as it's curious. You
take the teeth and the finger nails.
for instance"
"Well?" said the man opposite.
"a mans finger nails grow, don't
they?"
Certainly. So does his hair"
''Well, what's the use? We don't
need our hair or our finger nails
not more than a certain length any
way--but they keep sprouting right
along, just as if we did and just as
long as we live"
':Oh, / don't know" said the 9TH
er man, passing his hand over the
top of his head.
SWell, your finger nails do any
way. But you just get your one
crop of teeth, and they've got to do
you. There's nothing more coming
to you
81 always understood there were
two crops"
Yes, the baby teeth. That's so.
But that's only another instance of
the foolishness of the whole arrange
ment. How do we start in? With
out any teeth at all. Then we begin
cutting 'em. They worry US night
and day and make us drool all over
our bibs, so that we must have our
white dresses changed every few
hours, and they wake us up at night
so that our parents have to carry us
around and sing to lis and give us
soothing strip chat makes morphine
fends of us in after life, and not
only that, they disorder our little
.stomachs and send us into convul-
sions, from which We frequently die.
Why?"
''Ask me something easy"
"That keeps up for about two
years, and, having gone through
with all that, you'd suppose a kid
might be provided with teeth for
life. But no. The last stomach
tooth is hardly in before the first
front tooth begins working loose.
And then there's toothache. The
first toothache. Ny land! Then
your mouth gets filled with sailor
the teeth do-and cloves are wedg-
ed in them and cotton batting soak
ed with creosote that takes the skin
all off the inside of your mouth
and camphorated chloroform and all
manner Of stuff. You go through
the mental anguish of having a
string tied to some cuspid or incisor
and to the handle of a door. You
are taken to the dentist and obliged
to use toothbrush.
"Then the new teeth come, and
they have to be Strengthened. Then
it is noticed that one has begun to
decay, and it is scooped out and in
laid with precious metals. Others
follow. Then come the drilling
and filing Of the back teeth, ulcerl-
ton, desperation, distraction and ex-
traction. One by one they are crown
ed, bridged, buttressed and other
wise repaired until at the age of for
ty, perhaps fifty or sixty-anyway
with twenty or thirty good years of
life before him-a man is practically
toothless, after having been trou-
bled more or less all his days. Now,
claim nature is dead wrong there.
Teeth ought to grow like hair, as
fast as they are worn off-well, fin
ger nails then. | keep forgetting
you are bald. Teeth are to the ma
jority simply nuisance and an ex-
pense."
ssWhy don't you have the snags
out and an artificial set put in and
have done with it? Haven't you got
the nerve?"
1ESnags! Me? Why, man, | could
bite off the end of a tenpenny nail
and chew it like gum. never had a
toothache or lost tooth in my life.
I'm speaking generally. Chicago
News.