davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
HVMOR OF THE DAY

Ii ~ 0S404A VI 44G 0<3 Ill
The clock struck Il.
All = observed the young man, 1T is
mr. Lingeriong, said the young wo-
Yes"
7 hope you are a rapid thinker. Lou.
isville Courier-Journal.
Wiggs-why do you always regard him
Wagg-WeIi every time I see him he
has a different umbrella.-Philadelphi
Record.
Raynor--DLid you have good time New
shyne Cbathing his head)-Best ever!
Raynor-What did yos do2
.SSihyne-L haven't the reIaotest idea
Chicago Tribune.
Senator. do you think. the railroads get
too much for carrying the mafis2"
Too much! Aren't they getting the
same they were before they stopped our
passes? OF course. they're getting too
Burning with indignation. he sat down
to draft slashing bill-Philadelphia
Ledger
Don't you think every statesman
should cultivate manner of great dig
"A manner Of great dignity answered
senator Sorghum, is an invaluable ad-
bothersome questions for fear of seem
ing impairment W Washington Star.
Ignorance of the law. you know" said
the Justice OF the peace, is no defense
In that case replied the prisoner.
they ever hauled YOU UP, would your
Chicago Record-Herald-
Maud-so Mr.. Borely asked you to name
the day What did you say2
Belief told him twas Tuesday. mid
night, and my bedtime.-Boston Trans
cript.
Raise your chin just little" said the
''This is as high as I choose to raise it.
was the austere response Of Mrs. Wick
Sem. If the effect is not to your liking
you can lower your machine. Chicago
Tribune.
What incomprehensible slang threatri-
cal people usel" exclaimed Miss How
james. It am Informed that when they
wish to inquire whether or not the treas
ask: Is the disembodied spirit prOmenad-
ing?' Chicago Tribune.
women are certainly changeable crea-
lures said the weary-lool0ing man.
Nv hats the explanations asked the
During our honeymoon, answered the
weary party. my wife declared she
could not live a day without me"
Well?" queried the family friend.
only last week. continued the other,
she tried to get me to insure my life for
$4,000 in her favor. kansas City Inde-
pendent.
81 s'pose you had a lovely time with
your rich relations up to the city" her
friend said when she had returned to the
little town
oh! yes she replied. 1T was kind of
pleasant for while, but I did miss goiu'
down in the depot in the evenings TO
wait for the train coming in.'-Chicago
Record Herald.
Sir said the old fashioned young man,
7 desire your permission to pay my ad-
dresses to your daughter"
'sAll right answered the old gentle
man. IF you mean business and are able
to pay for the dresses, go ahead. Chi
cago News.
The Promoter want you to take a
couple hundred shares in this new life
insurance company. It is the best thing
on the market.
Friend-WhO'S your representative in
the ate2-Puck-
Nero was fddling while Rome burned.
Anyway he protested. I never gave
a small boy a drum for Christmas
Herewith the neighbors felt compelled
to acquit him of cruelty.-New York Sun.
There's always room at the top" said
the philosopher at the Army club.
What of that2" remarked the veteran
of the wars IT'S reserved for General
Wood. Philadelphia Ledger
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

The State Journal is a member OF the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
4anl1atIon for exclusive evening publ
catlou
The State Journal receives for exclusive
euQiication the leased wire report Of the
-uc'lshers Press for the edition for sun
0av morning
The news is received in tho State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
KANSAS cOMAEET


The Wichita rate convention took a
firm stand on a good many reforms. But
it is gratifying to know that il did not
overthrow the constitution of the Uni
ted States and that the legislatures OF
the several states win continue to eject
United States senators as that old-fash-
toned but stin useful instrument pro-
Vides. Possibly it would be well to pro-
vide some means by which the people
could express by ballot their choice for
United States senator. but our observa-
tion has been that the people usually
are able to make their members of the
legislature understand their choice in
the matter even under the present sys-
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Frank Grimes says that Roy Richey
Is the person to explain about the state
treasury shortages. Mr.. Grimes seem
ing anxiety to place the blame on Mr.
Richey instead of Tom Kelly is one 81
the most suspicious things about Grimes
Who got the money!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
Moved.

A southern politician recently told of
an incident in connection with slight
earthquake that visited one of the Gulf
states not so many years ago. The
shaking of the earth was distinctly felt
all over the state. but especially in the
state capital. The legislature was in
session at the time, and nearly every
member thereof ran out of the state
house when that structure began to
evince a disposition to turn itself over.
OF course there was an end to legisla-
tive proceedings for that day. When
the body had reconvened it was found
that some member of a grimly humor-
Gus turn had made an entry on the
journal of the legislature in these words:
ION motion of the house, the legislature
adjourned. Harper Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

incidentally very humble apology is
now due Mr.. Charles Rowett from a lot
of Kelly papers that ridiculed and
abused him year ago for doing his
duty and telling the truth about the
treasury shortares-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
JOURNAL ENTRIES
Puzzle: Who got the money?


The Atchison Globe has discovered a
former United States senator from. Kan
sas shoveling snow in St. Joe It is
suspected there are other former Kansas
senators who would be exceedingly glad
TO shovel snow in St. Joe or any other
place, but unfortunately there is no
snow to shovel in the region where they
are now located.
If it would not be out of place. We
would like to suggest the ACCESSIBILITY of
bringing Herbert Hadley home to KAN
sas where he belongs and giving him
little job at attorney. generating in
this state.
The University of Kansas Bulletin
states that professors from K. u. and
from the University of Nebraska met
recently 'tO discuss the resumption of
athletic relations AMI that the meet
ing was entirely friendly in character
From which we infer there was none of
the smuggling which has heretofore char
acterized athletic meetings between
these two great educational Institutions.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

VIII those newspapers and politicians
so full Of explanations showing mistakes
in the Rowett report kindly come for
ward now and point out the mistakes Of
MI Morris? And incidentally win they
tell Who Got the Money?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

1t is reported that Mr.. Mccall has
nortgaged his home to pay back the
money. but SO far he has rot been seen
going into any Dawnshops q hang up"
his watch to help out
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Why doesn't some chorus girl try the
plan Of going to the White House and
having a at of Mysteries? Tt got Mrs.
Minor Norris fine line oftop- column
advertising.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

course. civilly liable for the greater
part of the $685. aside from the
oklahoma warrant interest of $4,000
Grimes holds Kelly's bond for 100000
as assistant state treasurer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

From 1899 10 1903 Frank Grimes ran
the political end Of the state treasury
while IT. n. Kelly, as assistant treasurer.
handled the funds. Puzzle: Who got
the money!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
slim ROOF Question.

A lawyer was talking about Elihu
Roots legal talent.
He shone in a courtroom" said the
lawyer. From the beginning of his
career he shone.
"He had happy gift of humor, too.
One day he was cross examining 4
young woman.
90 How old are your he said.
THE young woman hesitated.
Don't hesitate said Mr.. Root. The
longer you hesitate the older you Il
grow ,'-Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
LAWYERS AND POLITICS.

j. c. Ruppenthal, of Russell. Who was
mentioned as a Democratic candidate
for congress. says in a signed artiele in
the Lucas Sentinel; mo, 1 am not a
candidate for any Office and do not wish
to be mentioned nor doomed for any
Office by anyone. Even the advertising
that it gives is of very questionable val
ne to a lawyer, as it is a pretty well
founded opinion that politics spells d
lawyer and that politicians are poor
lawyers Hays City Republican
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

When you consider the matter serious
iy you cannot wonder that Mr.. Rogers
dislikes TO answer some of the questions
put to him. They might land him in
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
PERTINENT.

The most pertinent comment on F.
Dumont Smiths recent interview in
which he says he is no longer an at
torney for the Kansas Oil Producers,
association in its fight to Gust the Santa
Pc from doing business in the state
comes from the Sedan Times. It says:
''The latest, F. Dumont Smith drops out
of a case when he was never in it, -
Chanute Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
A P0PTJIIST PROTEST.

The Wichita OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
but predominated by leading Repub-
lfcans of Kansas, declares for cent
fare. adjustment of passes, revision Of
the tariff! Dust think of thatD and
the election of senators by direct vote of
the people. All old Populists should
protest against such radical measures
Salina Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
THE LAW FOR MILLIoNAIREs.

The majesty Of the law and the supre-
macy of the courts are on trial in New
York, in the examination of the stand
ard Oil magnates by Attorney General
Hadley, of Missouri. If the authorities
show any more favor to those Million
aires than they 90 to any other Ameri-
can citizen then our estimation Of the
sanctity of courts viii drop a few de-
grees. If John D. Rockefeller or II. II.
Rogers are guilty of violating tine law
their millions should not deter the courts
from melting to them just punishment
Concordia Kansan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
ROGERS

Henry H. Rogers doesn't know where
the office of the Standard Oil is-but for
= man who doesn't know where the OBJ
legation of decency is, touching the con-
dnct of a sworn witness in court this
isn't showing so very much ignorance
Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Incidentally, Messrs Hasklns & Sells
found something very much wrong with
the Comanche county bond deal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

one man in North Leavenworth says
that he never cleans his sidewalk after
a snow because he hates To spoil the
children's sliding track.-Leayenwolt
Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
TELLS TIE STORY.

The United States. with population
of 70 600 600. has II. 100000 children in the
schools of the country. Russia with
141 900, 600. has 100000 pupils in the
schools of the nation. That tells the
whole story. One country is enlighten-
de and the other is sodden with ignor-
ance and vice.-Arkansas City Traveller.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Brown Goes to Prison" is a newspa-
per headline. but you win notice that it
ISN'T "A. r. Brown"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
WINTER.

Winter by the way, could be made
quite welcome if it could but cure It
self Of the inclination to lean loosely
against something and grow sloppfly
entimentaI-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

There is very little violence in strikes,
says an American economist. That little
is more than unionism should tolerate.
Reform it observation-disclosures Record
Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

And "A. r. Brown" is as much a
mystery as ever Who got the money!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Let US at least hope that the reported
theft of some French warship plans viii
not result in another Dreyfus case. That.
in the words of A. Ward, would be y
mulch. New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
No cRIsTs COMING.

1t is reported the financial crisis IS
postponed since Russell Sage dropped
penny on the street last week and walk
ed off without looking for it.-Leaven-
worth Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

1t viii be noticed that in these days
of prosperity the 100000 man thinks
that he must live up to his position by
having a S100,000 seandal.-Atlanta Jour
nal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT OF
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS EVERY
WEEK DAY AND PUBLISHERS
PRESS REPORT ON SATURDAY
NIGHT FOR THE EDITION FOR
SUNDAY MORNING.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
ANOTHER TALE.

In an article on currenCles- a contem-
porary says China has IS sorts of tales.
ranging in value from AL to 1875 cents.
But the Chinese pig tails all look alike.
Richmond News-Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

We wonder why Mrs Taggart never
though Of going to Paris before.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
THE MAGNETIC POLE.


Nevertheless, Notwithstanding the real
magnetic Pole continues to be Pader-
ewski.-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
DOrsNr.T Need m

Well Mr.. Longworth is one Ohio man
that the president couldn't ~lacate with
something equally as good. '-Milwau-
kee Sentinel
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Who got the money!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
FROA OTHER PENS
UNANIMOUS.

If Sarah Bernhard can whip the
theatrical trust she may raise her rates
on us. and we will not even froWn.-Gal-
weston News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

We are satisfied there would be no
serious objection should Senator DepeW
urefer to begin the New Year with a
good resignation instead of a good res
olution.-Charleston News and Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Raynor-Did you have a good time New
Years eve2
Shyne bathing his head)-Best ever!
Raynor-What did you do2
Shyne-I haven't the reIaotest idea
Chicago Tribune
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

The annoying. even embarrassing par
about it, to those Isle of Pines people
is that nobody seems to be paying an,
attention to acknowledgements News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Ignorance of the law, you know" said
the Justice of the peace, lis no defense
In that case replied the prisoner.
you wouldn't have leg to stand on if
they ever hauled You up, would your
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
r,IJI, TpoTTpF 3 WITH RUSSIA.

THE TROUBLE WITH RUSSIA.
1t takes careful reading Of the news
from Russia to tell which is strike
which is revolution and which IS plain
mob devilishness; but it's all bad gov
ernment.-Ph Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
NO. THERE's HANLY

Senator Beverage is not disposed 10
deny that there is excellent presidential
material in Indiana.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17
THERE- ARE oTHERs.

The FlhplnOS are Saiu 10 He6d an OPP
portunity to borrow money. Nothing
can be more easily understood than such
a condition.-St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Senator, do you think the railroads get
4 too much for carrying the maiis2.
TOO muchi Aren't they getting the
same they were before they stopped our
/ passes2 OF course they're getting too
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Raise your chin just a little, said the
photographer
This is as high as 7 choose to raise it. -
was the austere response of Mrs Wick
Sem. If the effect is not to your liking
you can lower your machine. Chicago
Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

rrefer to begin the New Year with a
good resignation instead of a good res
olution.-Charlesto News and Courier
THE TROUBLE WITH RUSSIA.
1t takes careful reading of the news
from Russia to tell which is strike
which is revolution and which is plain
mob devilishness; but it's all bad gov
ernment.-Philadelph Inquirer
THE MAGNETIC POLE.
Nevertheless, notwithstanding the real
magnetic Pole continues to be Pader-
ewski.-Puck.
CUT IT OUT.
There is very little violence in strikes,
saws an American economist. That little
is more than uniOniSm should tolerate.
Reform it ltogether-Chicago Record
Herald.
ANOTHER TALE.
In an article on currencies a. contem-
porary says China has - sorts OF tales,
ranging in value from AL to 1875 cents.
But the Chinese pig tails all look alike.
Richmond News-Leader.
NOT A BIT.
The annoying, even embarrassing part
about it, to those Isle of Pines people,
is that nobody seems to be paying any
attention to acknowledgements News.
NO TRUST THERE.
In Argentina beef is so cheap that
cattle are chiefly valued for their hides.
beef trust appears to be wanted in
that favored country.-Philadelp
Record.
%
THERE ARE OTHERS.
The Fiipinos are said to need an op-
portunity to borrow money. Nothing
can be more easily understood than such
a condition.-St. Louis Post-Dispateh.
NO, THERE'S HANLY.
Senator Beverage Is not disposed to
deny that there is excellent presidential
material in Indiana.-Chicago Tribune.
LOOKS THAT WAY.
It will be noticed that in these days
of prosperity the 100000 man thinks
that he must live up to his position by
having a 100000 seandal.-Atlanta Jour
nal.
DOESN'T NEED 1T
Well Mr.. Longworth is one Ohio man
that the president couldn't ~lacate with
something equally as good.
kee Sentinel.
DECIDEDLY.
Let US at least hope that the reported
theft of some French warship plans will
not result in another Dreyfus case. That,
in the words of A. Ward, would be y
mulch. New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Don't you think every statesman
should cultivate a manner of great dig
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Maud-So Mr.. Borely asked you to name
the day. What did you say2
Belief told him twas Tuesday, mid
night, and my bedtime.-Boston Trans
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Burning with indignation. he sat down
Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

Wlggs-wlhy do you always regard him
Wagg-WeH, every time I see him he
has a different Observation-Disclosures
Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

In Argentina beef is SO cheap that
cattle are chiefly valued for their hides.
A beef trust appears to be wanted in
that favored Philadelphia
Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

"A manner of great dignity answered
Senator Sorghum, lis an Invaluable ad-
Junct It prevents people from asking
bothersome questions for fear of seem
ing impairment. washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-17

what incomprehensible slang threatri-
cal people use!' exclaimed Miss How
james. It am informed that when they
wish to inquire whether OF not the treas
urer is ready to pay their salaries they
ask; Is the disembodied spirit prOmenad-
ing?' Chicago Tribune.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1906-04-08
4 COLLEGE COURSE
IN one EVENING

Picture to yourselves, those who have
known a college career, the opening of
the university for the semester. Isn't
the excitement great? All the old
chums back again, and the new chums
to be gotten. Doesn't it take you back?
Well if picturing it won't do the work
THE College Widow" will. That's the
play that will be put on for the Myrtle
Boat Club on April rs and % at the
Hawaiian Opera House.
And while you are living over your
good old times, everyone else is living
them with you for there's not a dull
moment in the play, and how could
there be when George AIDE handled the
pen, as audiences. packing the theaters
in the states to the doors have testi-
fed. There's a fine evening in it for
young, old and middling. You can't
help but like it if you like fun and
excitement, for there's plenty of it.
The reception and dance in the gym
nasium is a pretty scene, all in their
best bibs and fuckers, and ''only three
gallons of ice-cream for over a hun
dred people, 1t is needless to say
they are very sparing with the cream.
All the acts are different and have
new surprises to spring and happy
thoughts to offer
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1906-04-08
ANTI-SALOOn MEN
OPPOSE high LICENSE
This from The Friend:


The correspondence between the
Treasurer and the Anti Saloon League
has developed a few things.
First. the people are beginning to be
interested in the fact that the coun-
try is being flooded with saloons.
Then the Treasurer is naturally a
little touchy'' on the subject of their
UNCONSTITUTIONAL it is more than prob
able that he could not have hindered
it very materially.
The liquor men are dissatisfied be-
cause the monopoly has been cut into.
There you are.
Who wants the law to continue on
the statute books, anyway?
We have right to say, I'VE told
you So
But don't let any one run away with
that idea that the Anti-Saloon people
and the saloon men are in agreement
as to high license. That's not the
logic of the situation. A restricted
regulated, desirable hell is an anomaly.
No hell for US. I. K.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1906-04-08
THE HOT WATER CURE.

DR.. William Osler is always exceed
ingly precise in his directions to pa
tents He relates an experience which
a brother practitioner once had which
illustrates the dangers of lack of pre-
cision.
A young man one day visited this
doctor and described a common malady
that had befallen him.
THE thing for you to do the physi-
clan said, lis to drink hot water an
hour before breakfast every morning.
The patient took his leave. and in
week returned.
We'll. how are you feeling?" the
physician asked.
Worse, DOCTOR; worse, if anything ;"
was the reply.
"Ah! Did you follow my advice and
drink hot water an hour before break
fast?"
Il did my best, sir" said the young
man, but I couldn't keep it up more n
ten minutes at a stretch. Woman S
Home Companion.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1906-04-08
EDITOR BURNS, .sALUTAToRY.

With this issue of the Herald the
editorship is taken by A. NJ. Burns. for
some time past with the Hawaiian star
of Honolulu The editor will aim 10
keep the Herald what it has always
been, a bright, clean and newsy paper
and with such a view bespeaks the
consideration and cooperation of pub
lie with which he is almost stranger.
The interests of Hilo and of HaWai'
viii ever be considered of paramount
concern in these columns, which VIII
always be open for free discussion OF
matters affecting the public welfare
Hawaii Herald