Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1905-1906, 1906-01-03
zANCWILL'S
EPICRAMS
CLEVER SAYINGS OF THE WIT
TY AUTHOR.
HEBREW CHARACTERISTICS
The Way He Cmpared His Core
ligionists to United States
Bonds.
HEBREW CHARACTERISTICS

Some years since Israel Zangwill
when on a visit to this country deliv-
cred an address in New York city to
his own people. A few of the epigrans
which he then coined concerning the
characteristics of the Hebrews are here
offered:
The jews had no country Of their
own They could not possess the land
of their fathers in reality. So they
made portable Palestine. They car
ried it wherever they went. This was a
spiritual country. 1t could not be as
sailed by their oppressors.
There have been two conceptions of
the Jew-one that he lends money and
wants it back again, the other that he
deals in old clothes. The truth is Jews
have been everywhere. They have
been everything except pope of Rome,
and they have come near to that. If
they dealt in old clothes it was because
papal DEGREES forbade them trading in
anything else but old clothes and old
iron
Jews in a way We're as good as Unit
ed States bonds. only United States
| bonds may be converted. but when
Jew was converted he lost his value.
Because Shylock was rich and Jes-
sica beautiful all Jews are rich and all
Jewesses are beautiful. I wish it were
so.
A good looking Jew was considered
the fool of the family, which is conso-
lation for some of us.
The black plague swept over Europe.
The Jews escaped by reason of their
different hygienic laws. The Christians
charged them with poisoning the wells,
and thousands of Jews were put to
death for not dying of the plague.
Colonel Roosevelt told me that the
Jews of his regiment We're amoD. his
bravest soldiers, and when Hobson had
to be kissed it took a Jewess to do it.
Jews not only furnished money for
Columbus expedition, but his first
lieutenant. was Jew. This officer dis
covered tobacco, which is greater than
America.
Carlyle said the Jews had no humor,
but Carlyle was Scotchman.
A beggar stole spoon from wealth
Ter member Of his race who had enter
tanned him. When detected the beggar
said: "By taking the spoon broke
the eighth commandment, which says,
Thou shalt not steal If / had not
taken it 1 would have broken the tenth,
which says, Thou shalt not covet.' /
saw 1 had to break one commandment
anyhow, 50 / thought might as well
have the spoon"
It has always been the desire of Jew
ish fathers. however rich, to have learn
ed sons-in-law, however poor. l do not
| find this custom prevalent today.
To illustrate why there are no good
Jews in fiction Mr.. Zangwill related
the story. of the lion and the cub. The
cub had seen Il painting of Samson
voaCushing the lion, and said to its
parent: Il have seen many contests
| between lions and men, and always the
men have been the yictors. Why are
there no pictures showing lions over
towering men:' 1T is because we
lions have no painters" was the par
ant's reply.
| The Jews have been scattered to the
| four winds among all the nations of
the earth. They have been of immense
service to every country that has har-
bored them. 1t reminds me of the story
of the crocodile which opened its mouth
so that bird might go into It and eat
| the leeches which annoyed it. There
| was mutual benefit from the operation.
| 1t is not strange that sometimes the
| Jews find the crocodiles mouth closing
upon them. 1t was natural that Jews
should congregate around their syna-
gogues. They became to some extent
| isolated from the people among whom
| they dwelt This isolation brought with
| it suspicion. and suspicion caused more
! isolation for mutual protection.
In medieval times the nations Of
| Eurore had conception of the Jewish
/ character compared TO which Shake
| speare's Shylock was q saint. 1t was
this that brought about the compulsory
/ ghetto.
There are two general types of Jews.
/ the German and the Spanish The
Spanish Jews speak a mixture Of He
brew and Spanish. The German Jews
speak Yiddish. mongrel of bad Ger
/ mar and every other language in the
world
The Jews financed the crusades vol
unfairly and inyoluntarily. There was
nothing they had not financed. not even
| their own persecutions.-New York
| Herald