Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1906-10-05
0N-NONNNO~~

ed for evening party Mother, shall
l wash my hands or put on my glovesl
Mamma, what is grass widow?"
"A grass-widow, dear-ls a lady whose
husband plays olf."-London By
stander.
Home, Sweet Home
Through flats and apartments
Though we may roam,
Be they ever 50 charming
They're too dear for home!
You ought not to work such Iona
hours. Surely your boss can get along
without you part Of the time" Sure
he can. But don't want him to find
it out"-Cleveland Leader.
Benners college professors
listened to lecture three hours long.
Jenners-What of it? Benners-Noth-
ing; only they say "a word to the wise
is sufficient. t."-Phlladelphia Telegraph.
Well, Yes.-"We all have our bur-
dens to BEAR" remarked the minister.
Life at best is but series Of trials"
81 don't mind the trials, parson," said
Senator SmoOthguy, ITS the convic-
tions that hurt"
The Mine that Goes to the WALL
Cokeley-My what lot of mines are
being exploited now. JOkeley Yes.
and there's one mine that's bound to
go to the wall. Cokeley-Whats thatl
JOkeley-C N lcimlne
why do you think all Is not right
between Mr.. and Mrs. Flashington%
'7They are so often seen together late
ly. 1t must be that they have some
reason for trying to drown suspicion"
Chicago Record Herald.
Tom-IIere! You've started your
note to BOrroughs "Dr. Sir" Don't
you know that sort Of abbreviation is
very slovenly? Dick-No, sir. DR."
Is all right in this case. He owes me
money.-Philadelph Press.
Red Cows and Black Cows.-Wagg
So you've taken to farming. sup
pose you've noticed that red cows eat
more than black ones Wigg-No,
didn't. How do you account for lt2
Wagg-There are more Of them.
Couldn't Tell. - Teacher-If your
mother bought four baskets of grapes,
the dealers price being twenty-five
cents per basket, how much money
would they cost her? Tommy-Could-
mt tell. Mas great at bargains.
Indorsement-Unc Jerry PEBBLES
was looking over the list Of amended
spellings" recommended by the reform
ers. Why" he exclaimed. IL don't
see anything strange In them words.
That's the way I've allus spelled EN-"
Out of Order.-Teacher- I
saw you laugh just now. What are
you laughing about2 Tommy was
just thinking about something. Teach.
er-YOu have no business thinklng dur
Ing school hours. Don't let 1t occur
again.
Mamma thought there was an ap-
pie on the sideboard and was going
to give 1t to you, but 1t has disappear
ed. Fred-Well, you can give me some
thing In the place Of 1t, mamma, cause
the apple wasn't much good, anyway
Pathfinder.
His Rule of Action.-"John Henry"
said Mrs. Blckers to her husband, III
Is time we returned the Gilklnsons
call" II have no intention of return
Ing It," said Mr.. Bickers. "Why not?"
Because l believe In returning good
for evil"
On the Safe Slde.-"What's that sign
you're making here?" Fresh eggs"
replied the new clerk. make it Fresh.
laid eggs" why - er-everybody
knows the eggs were fresh when they
were laid" Exactly, and that's all
that It's safe for us to say about them"
A Good FishLlne, Too.-"Now, boys.
what is the axis Of the earth?" 'Ths
axis of the EARTH" said Johnny, "is
an imaginary line which passes from
one pole to another, and on 1t the earth
revolves." VERY good, Johnny" said
the teacher could you hang clothes
on that line?" "Yes, sir" "Oh, in
deed; and what sort of clothes, may
| ask?" Imaginary clothes, sir"