Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-03-31
WHY IT DIDN'T WORK

'''All you have to do is to drop half a tea
spoonful OF the mixture into his cup OF.
coffee each morning" the AginT Tobacco
circular read. land the taste for tobacco
will gradually depart from him. He may
not cease the use OF tobacco Immediately,
but within week he will begin to abhor
tobacco. If the mixture is given TO him
faithfully every morning
And so young Mrs L.andsakes sent her
little 81 on and got bottle of the Agin-To-
bacco.
Pretty bum coffee this morning. isn't itT'
he remarked. dryiy, the first time she drop
ped the Tablespoonful of the mixture
into his cup.
IT'S the same we've been using right
along" she replied. craftily, IL truthfully.
You see, the man Is a pretty oily PROPOSE
ton himself, and he had. unbeknown to his
wife. caught sight of that bottle containing
the Agin Tobacco mixture-he'd run across
1t in rubbering around among the bureau
drawers, looking for something. in her alb
sence.
So, after dinner that evening, he pro-
duced large, bulky package Of fne-cut
from his pocket and took therefrom plen-
teous chew Of tobacco. 1t was the hrst
chew he had ever taken In her presence,
and she marveled greatly thereat. But she
uctSlIliHcd 90 PcfEiSt with LILO
Dead rank chicory again this morning. l
notice. he said at breakfast the next
morning.
I'm sure it tastes the same to me-" she
replied.
Then she went to let the cat in. and the
man dumped his cup OF coffee into the sou
containing the potted fern In the midoie
OF the table. And every time he was served
with coffee from that time on. he adroitly
succeeded in dumping his cup OF coTee mo
the fern pot. while she wasn't looking. he q
frame up little things to attract ner a,1en-
ton elsewhere, and then get rid or MS
coffee by the pot route.
That same evening, after dinner. he pro-
duced a short, black clay pipe and ne"
kind of tobacco that was as black as tfso
groundwork OF jolly Roger.
Thought I'd fetch this old dudeen up
from the Office" he explained to her, airily.
Its as sweet as a nut"
Whereupon he lit the pipe and proceeded
to fill the fiat with an aroma OF punk that
was strong enough to break rock.
This grocery person who gets all OF my
wages Is certainly breaking it OF In us
with the kind of chicory he sells u.s. ne
remarked at breakfast the next morning,
and them when she went out to the Kitchen
to get the package of coffee 30 that ne
could smell 1t in Its original bulk, ne
dumped his cup of coffee into the fern pot
Really" she said to him, showing him
the coffee in its original package, 1T tastes
all right to me-
And vet there are bone-heads who don't
| believe that women are natural dStTcSoCo,
said he to himself on his way to the office
that morning.
That evening he brought home box Of
auction stogies, and after he had smoked
one of them after dinner all Of the people
In the neighboring flats stuffed cotton In
their hall-door keyholes and closed the hall
transoms.
81 must persist, though thought his
baff1ed little wife, gloomily.
Coffee tastes like stewed gunnysacks
again this morning. he remarked to her
at the next breakfast. She felt bit sorry
for him, but she was determined to use
up that bottle of AginTobacco II she had
to chloroform him in his sleep and pour
it down his throat.
That evening, however, her resolution de-
serted her.
After dinner, for the first time In her
arettes, lit one. and began to smoke 1t.
She went to the kitchen poured out the re-
manning portion of the Agin-Tobacco and
tossed the bottle into the alley from back
window
"Coffee's bully this morning" said he at
breakfast the next day.
"Yes?" said she. absently.
When he had finished dinner that evening
he lighted one of his usual brand Of good
cigars.
"Men are mysteries to me-" she thought.
regarding her husband out of the corner OF
| her eye.
Women only think they're foxy" he
thought blowing heavy smoke rings into the
| lace curtains.