Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1906-02-01

the midst of an earthquake belt. Big
Bill, the sheriff; Dan, the postmaster,
and sundry other choice spirits had
early perceived the receptive mental
ity of the new saloonkeeper, and were
not slow to plan accordingly.
They're shore bad" said Bill, as
he Tipped cigar coin to Henry on
the second day. THE house just
ra'ars and pitches like crazy bronx,
an a. man don't stand no show at ALL
vat ISIS to do ven she schakes?" in
terposed the apprehensive Henry.
Cit away from all buildins" was
the admonition. This little shack O.
yours wouldn't last a holy minute.
When you feel her comm you want
to run to the open as fast as the
Lord'll let you"
Later that day and the day follow
ing Henry was full of earthquakes.
Every customer was consulted. Swede
Pete, Dan, Judge" Riley and the
whole gang confirmed Bits warning
and his advice as to emergency ac-
ton. The saloonkeeper drank it all
in and was duly grateful. He was
just from Milwaukee.
The saloon was just IA by IS feet
on the ground, with a little cubby-
hole upstairs where Henry kept a
neat bachelors hall. Lots on either
side were vacant. This explanation
is necessary to Il full understanding
of the denoument.
I'm
tude for the advice he had received
had given him most cordial feeling
for his new friends. So it was that
when they again began to drop in,
with anxious looks and comments on
his unusual pallor, he became genu,
inely alarmed about his health. He
spent the time between visits scan.
ming his broad visage in the bar mir
ror, which, in truth, did give him a
decidedly ghastlyaspect. AS a result
Doc" Ryan was consulted and adj
Vised a vapor bath. He would send
Henry a proper bath cabinet with
spirit lamp. Doe by the way, had
been "seen."
Sunday morning saw unusual do
ings in Lewistown. Dutch Henry,
attended by Big Bill and Dan BEEN,
was snugly ensconsed in his bath
cabinet in the chamber over his bar
room. Outside, dozen strong men
were quietly digging under the sill OF
the light, frame building to make a
hole about as large as the big end of a
heavy wagon-tongue which lay near
by. Also there was a section of a big
cottonwood log which might serve as
a fulcrum. There were no upstairs
windows in that side of the structure,
and Henry was perspiring freely in
bissful ignorance of these horrible
preparations.
Just as the bell in the little church
at the end of the street was pealing
for the close of the service, a slight
tremor was felt through Dutch
Henry's place.
"Himmel! Vot ISIS dot? Did you
feel id? calculated the patient in a
sudden excess of perspiration.
Bill fastened the top of the cabinet
more securely around the patients
neck. Nav, | didn't feel nothin'.
D'ju, DAM" he drawled.
No" said Dan.
Then there was an unmistaRable
quake. Glasses crashed down from
the bar, and Bill and Dan stood not
upon the order of their going. Put
ting out the spirit lamp in the cabinet,
they fairly fell downstairs and awaited
developments
Henry yelled for his clothes, but a
terrific heave on the wagon-tongue
gave the building terrific lurch just
then, and he tarried no longer. The
Internal bath cabinet couldn't be un-
fastened, so he took 1t with him,
humping and scraping downstairs
like falling packing-case. In this
guise he burst into the full light OF
day and sped away as fast as his
frightened legs could carry him. The
cabinet struck him just below the
knees at each jump 1t wasn't i'm
modest, but 1t was nightly incon,
venient Like runaway milk wagon,
he galloped up the street until he was
Just entangled and stopped in the
startled crowd that was just emerging
from church. There are no spinsters
in Lewistown, so nobody was shocked,
but just few people had the sur
prise OF their lives-including the
victim.
After he was restored to reason
and led away, Dutch Henry was so re-
lieved to discover the earthquake
fictitious that he forgot to be angry.
Wherefore the next day, and for
many days thereafter, all Lewistown
visited his place to smile" and re-
manned to laugh at his rich dialect
story Of his private earthquake.