Mexico weekly ledger., 1906-12-27
HON. CHAMP CLARK
Writes an Interesting Letter Re
garding DR.. Warner.

garuing III. Whfhef.
Hon. Champ Clark writes as follows
regarding DR.. William Warner, OF
/ Missouri:
"There Is only one bona ide M. d
10 the Senate Of the United States
DR.. Gallinger, Of New Hampshire.
There are more LII. DIS; now comes
another-Dr. William Warner, OF
Missouri. A few days ago the uni
yersity Of Missouri made him an Lii.
d. All hail DR.. Warner His first|
and most distinguished patient is the
la. o. P. of Missouri. It's in a bad
way--is afflicted With vertigo, bad
liver, weak legs and general debility.
DR.. Warner and his faction say that
II is suffering from q bad, perhaps
fatal, case Of malpractice by Thomas
K. Neidrlnghaus, hut DR.. Warner and
bis friends are sadly preIudiced against
Thomas X. On the other band,
N~eidrlnghaus and his friends run the
risk OF beiug arrested for disturbing
the peace by loud, profane. obscene
and tumultnous language every time
they think or hear or read OF DR.,
| Warner and his friends. The feud
between the houses Of Capulet and
| Montague was not a marker to the
feud between the factions Of Warner
and Neidrlnghaus. Beside the feroc-
lty Of the battle now on between them
to control what is left OF the G. .. r.
in Missouri the far-famed fight OF the
cats OF Kilkenny was as an evening
zephyr to a western cyclone. II DR..
| Warner can set the G. .. ?. in Mis-
souri, on Its feet again, he is a dandy
physician and surgeon. II he can't,
then bis finish is In plain view. War
ner's new degree of LII. D simply adds
fuel to the flames-merely that and
nothing more. 1t sets Thomas K.
N~eidringhaus and bis f~actionists to
rejecting on what a becoming handle
it would have been for Thomas K.
himself-Dr. Thomas K. Neidring-
haus-but, so far as that is concerned,
he need not grieve as one without
hope, for be can follow the Industrious
example of DR.. Richard Barthold and
confer the title OF doctor or him
self.
THAT'S the modus operanGi by
which Barthold became a doctor
It's dead easy-easy as falling of a.
log, and a slippery log at that, First
and last we have heard much OF self
made men, but Bartbold is the only
self-made doctor that l wot Of. So II
it will soothe the paDgs Of jealousy In
the breasts OF Thomas X. and his cor.
poral's guard Of followers for him to
be addressed as DR.. NeIdringhaus no
one will say him nay. His title will
cost nothing, exactly the price Of DR..
Warmers, and will be just as valuable.
When some college offered to confer
the title Of doctor or something or
other Oh Henry Ward Beecher In bis
later life he declined 1t on the ground
that the people bad bestowed upon
him the title Of doctor long ago.
Query: II Warner had not got away
with the senatorial toga which Neid-
rlnghaus had designed for himself,
would the University Of Missouri have
conferred the title OF LII. d. upon
him? And II Neidringhaus had cap
tured the senatorship would the uni
versity not have conferred the title
upon him? And, Furthermore, isn't
he as fully qualified for the title with.
out the senatorship as he would have
been with II?
"But to return to our mutton-Dr.
William Warner. His career furnishes
proof conclusive Of the truth OF the
ancient dictum that IL is better to be
born lucky than rich He was elected
to the House Of Representatives thrice
because ola split among the Demo
Gratis In the Kansas City district. In
the spring Of 1905 it was thirty years
since the Republicans elected a United
States Senator from Missouri, and in
all human probability they will not
elect another In the same length of
time. They got that one by a fluke.
Again Warmers luck prevailed. Col.
Richard G. Kerens was determined
that Neidringhaus, the caucus nom
lnee, should not be elected and, not
being able to elect himself, in a spirit
Of revenge threw it to DIR. Warner.
Who says there's no such thing as
luck? Most assuredly DR.. William
Warner will not so asseverate. bel
should take no stock In the motto that
luck is a fool.'" /.