davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
LAYHA WKER JOTS

The Twentieth Kansas boys will do
their reuning at Pittsburg this year.
Mr. Meyer, Of Junction City, is accused
Of plucking Feathers chickens. You
.see they belonged to Mr.. Feathers.
Salina is discussing the idea of having
a city forester to direct the work of
beautifying the town and It's parks Win
trees.
Hazel Joseph, a little Mcpherson girl,
has won a $50 prize offered by New
York publishing house for the best let
ter written by a child of 12 years or less.
Junction City boasts = having white
crocus bed already in bloom. Junction
City is trying to rush spring little TOO
much.
Here is a sto~v which the Stafford
Courier loads on to st. John: Some time
ago a st. John man was awakened at
night to find his wife weeping uncon-
troIlably My darling" he said in dis
tress, what is the matter?' A dream
she gasped, Il have had such horrible
dream Her husband begged her to
tell 1t to him in order shat he might
comfort her After long persuasion she
was induced to say this: Il thought
was walking down Broadway ana L
came to a warehouse where there was
a large pIacard, Husbands for Sale.
You could get beautiful one 3, ,oOO
or even for 81 200 and very nice looking
ones for as low as $100." The husband
asked innocently: Did you see any tnat
looked like me?" The sobs became
strangltng. Dozens of them, gaspeo
the wife, done up in punches, like as
paragus, and sold for ten cents Dunch.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IRON the chicago News.l

TFSrom the Chicago News.1
Folly and failure roost on the same
perch.
man busy
a cunning one.
The woman who thinks only Of her
looks always looks it.
Much that passes for love wouldn't
stand the test Of curl papers.
Every dollar man borrows is a step
toward the il1-wiH Of his friends.
Marriage is the only thing that win
take the conceit out OF some men.
ANYWAY, there is more or less originate
ty about the man who rides q. hobby.
Looking on the bright side of things
never caused anyone to become lop-sided.
He who seeks temptation is either a
fool or otherwise-With the odds in favor
of the otherwise
A diplomat Is a man who has acquired
the art OF knowing how to wait patiently
until his turn comes
A tramp's working hours are shorter
than those of the banker; yet the average
man would rather be a banker.
There's nothing SO meaningless as the
kiss one woman bestows upon another
unless It is the expansive smile Of a hotel
clerk.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Don't laugh. Brown Of Brown" is
running for reelection to the legis-
lature on the issue of getting the state
to build and support a state business
college at Etawatha. Ever see Brown
Of Brown working at being a states
man?
Another argument against ''rhe
Clansman:" It is liable to make more
business for Uncle Toms Cabin"
shows.
The Kansas City Star seriously re-
fers to one OF Topeka's distinguished
citizens as Nicholas Childs." Anyone
know Nicholas?
It's been some time since a demand
was made for the repeal Of the law OF
supply and demand
Chicago cemeteries refused to admit
Johann Hoch for burial, but it is sus-
pected that a better place than Chi
cago cemeteries refused to admit
Hoch.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rErom the AtchIgon GIobe.l

An Atcbison girl who used to be known
as Honey IS now called HunyaoL
Don't look too far ahead you so ef}ine 81 le
up and going to work again
The average family does not need
coat of arms, but It needs q notlo' N 35 M
ted we stand; divided we IAN
Hint to parents. If a daughter ism
grateful for ten dollars, wait till she IS
married. and see her beam over cents
Watch your hands; don't they know
that they will never get a job on the gol-
fists?
There are not many men. who, reach
that height of refinement when they no
longer refer to what is passed at parties
as grub
When a woman is recovering from a
sickness she likes to slip her rings up and
down her fingers that everyone may see
how thin she grew.
Say to any man: How you have SUI
feredl" and he will have trouble trying
trying not to look pleased at the recog-
milton of what he has undergone
This is one thing that the first baby
does: After it has come its mother
doesn't remember if her husband kissed
her that morning before he started to
work, or If he forgot it.
When there is sickness the discovery
is made that some of the kin who are
so lacking in ornamental features that
they are never asked TO partles' are
mighty useful in sitting up nights.
There is always some handicap: A
girl cant go to parties at night because
She has no man to take her, and after
she gets the man for life she can't go
because there is no one to stay with
the baby.
The office of the Jewell County Ad-
vertiser was burned down at Mankato
a few nights ago, but most of the ma
terial was saved. There is not a vacant
building in the town, however, into
which the plant can be moved.
At the age when people seem to enjoy
talking the most their conversation is n
good dead like this; when I was on
Commercial street this morning, let me
see-Was it Commercial street2 No, be-
heve it was Main. Anyway, I met Miss
Miss Oh can't think of her name, but
you know who 7 mean Her father died
when she was little, and her mother mar
ried again She used to be at our house
half the time. Oh. surely you know who
mean. It is funny I can't recall her
name. She said to tell you that she
would be up to see you Monday But
come to think of it, it wasn't Monday, it
was Tuesday. No, she said she was go
ing out OF town Wednesday; that's It,
It is the washwoman who said she would
be at your house Monday. Well, now
what was that girls names" etc. etc.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
The Original New England.

Not one man in a thousand living on
the Pacific coast knows that as mat
ter of fact the accents of our mother
tongue were heard on the beach not
far from San Francisco forty-one years
before English was spoken on
Plmouth Rock.
More amusing still is the fact that
the original New England was on the
Pacific coast, for Francis Drake in
1879. at she close of a months stay
took possession of the country for his
sovereign, Eliza beth, and named the
new acquisition Nouva Albion New
England) because he thought the
white cliffs near what is now Point
Reyes resembled the chalk cliffs near
Dover-Outfng
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

The new queen of Norway is not very
well equipped with jewels-taat is, for
a queen. AS the youngest of three sis
ters, her share Of pretty things was
naturally smaller than those Of the
other two. The most imposing orna-
ment Of which she can boast is a dia-
mond necklace left her by her god
mother. the old duchess of Inverness
A condition attached to the legacy was
that on no account should it pass into
her possession until her wedding day.
It Is said that when at last she was per
mitted to clasp It about her neck she
said coquettishly to her husband that
he must not take too much credit to
himself as h er bridegroom. for she felt
she must make some sacrifice" to gain
possession Of her godmothers legacy
Exchange.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

ing for the chief Of police. The band,
it appears, Is anxious to point out to
the chief Of police some forty. un-
licensed liquor places that he has said
do not exist" It is not surprising that
Blanche Boies should have become "a
band Of determined women by the
time the news reached Boston, but
how about the unlicensed" liquor
places? Boston evidently thought the
chief meant that the forty places were
Hcensed-that is, running with the
chiefs consent Perhaps Boaton's
reputation for wisdom is deserved
after all
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
DiscipIining an Honest Legislator.

His friends put into Colby's head the
idea of the speakership in the next
session (1905). ''I didn't care much, +"
he said. Il felt I hadn't done very
well. and I was willing to watt But
he wrote to the boys" and enough of
the leaders promised him their sup
port to elect him. When Major Lentz
got wind of it. he told Colby he
couldn't have the speakership. This
was the System at work; the house
leader hadn't made good" he was
not yet SAFE but that isn't what the
boss said. Lentz said Colby mustn't
run because he couldn't be elected.
With those letters in his pocket Colby
knew it wasn't his colleagues that
would make it impossible to elect him.
He didn't mention to Lentz the pledges
he had; but neither did he bow to the
boss as bosses like to be bowed to.
Now political bosses are not really
bosses; they are the agents of the real
bosses who are business men. and
when Colby got a telephone message
70 come to the Newark office of United
states Senator Dryden, the young
man, his eyes wide open now. realized
that he was to see one of the men who
are the sovereign interests of his state
senator Dryden, the president of the
Prudential Life, was there, and with
hIm was Lentz. The United States
senator is the financial head of the
GupHc service corporation in New Jer-
Sey; not the president; Thomas G. Nc
Carter is that. Dryden is the man
back of McCarter as he is the man
back of Lentz; he represents one of
The two great sources of the corrup-
ton OF the state. He told Mr.. Colby
that he couldn't be speaker. Dryden
pleasant spoken man, and he ap-
pealed to his young friend's'' good
feeling explaining that since he
couldn't get the votes, it would weaken
the prestige of their CEssex) delega-
ton to run and fail. But Colby said
he could get the votes. How did he
know he could? He knew it because
he had them in his pocket; and he
tapped those letters. This was unex-
pected and the senator exclaimed:
But Tom McCarter says it won't
do"
That settled it. Tom McCarter spoke
for the trolley business-From 1.-THE
Gentleman from Essex" by Lincoln
Steffens in the February McCIure's.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
Making Theaters FIreproof.

The burning of a theater or other
public auditorium is likely to be at
tended by such loss of life that various
municipal building departments aim
to safeguard the construction in all
possible ways. In order to study the
matter most carefully a committee of
Austrian engineers has recently car
ried on a number of experiments with
a model of the Ring theater in Vienna,
which some years ago was destroyed
by fire. The model was built on a
scale Of one to ten, so that its cubical
contents was One-thOuSandth of the
actual building, and it was particular
iy valuable in showing what conditions
of ventilation were least conducive to
the spread of the flames. The most
practical results reached were that it
was absolutely necessary to have ade-
the air when heated produced such a
pressure that the gas lights would be
extinguished. Furthermore, this pres
sure is produced within an incredibly
short space of time, but if once it was
relieved the fire could be confined to
the stage The committee therefore
appreciated how dangerous 1t was to
cover the ventilating shafts or smoke
vents with wire netting, as is required
by the New York building law for
charred paper and canvas from the
scenery so that the outlets were com
pletely closed. The provision of suit
able and sufficient smoke vents is the
most necessary feature to retard a
fire, as this alone can stop the out
burst of flame and smoke into the au-
ditorium. without these safeguards
fireproOf curtains and emergency exits
will avail little. Tt was amply shown
in the tests with the model. what has
been experienced in great theater fires,
that the bursting out of the flames is
so rapid that escape is practically i'm
p0ssible.-Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

last four hours you have been my cap
tive and now
And ncw7" she prompted
The situations are reversed. have
been your captive ever since came
down here"
Then you were a very unbusiness-
like pirate she laughed softly. ''to
ransom me"
WHY he demanded
Because" she whispered. "you had
only to ask and
Evan asked.
The next cruise of the scourge win
be q honeymoon trip.
Copyright, 1906, by Epes W. Sargent.)
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

FORCES THAT MAKE FOR GOOD.
1--WE are living, we are moving in a
grand and awful time The time is
grand because it contemplates the
business federation of the world. The
time is awful because of the marvels in
the field of commerce and transporta-
ton. The civilization, which the su-
perf1cial may say is bottomed on ma
terialism. is really inspired by the
forces which make for brotherhood,
for fellowship and for friendship. They
are essentially spiritualizing forces,
world-knitting forces, war-stopping
forces and unifying forces on behalf of
all that can be said to make for the
kingdom of God on the earth and in
the hearts of men.-BrOoklyn Eagle.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
Oh. Memory!

There is no doubt that the tying of
a piece of string round the finger is
a really good aid to a poor memory;
but there is a we'll authenticated case
of man who tied a piece of cotton
remind him to get his hair cut. On
the way home to dinner that evening
he noticed the piece of cotton.
''Ah, yes. I remember" he said.
And. smiling proudly, he entered the
accustomed shop and sat down before
the accustomed artist.
"Er-yes, sir?'' said the artist, puz-
zled inquiry in his tones.
"Eh oh. yes; cut my hair. please"
commanded the absenr-mfnded one
curtly.
why, certainly. sir, if you wish it."
said the artist "But you won't mind
my mentioning the fact that I cut it
this morning, viii you ?"-Ladies
World.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

laturee voted him the chair and couch
that were IN the speakers ohiee dur
ing the legislative session Of 1s0S-a
matter with which BTr. Pringle had
nothing to do-but you will notice that
these great reform organs are saying
nothing at all concerning W. r.
Stubbs' swearing that the state owed
him $3.50 for presiding over the house
on six days at three dollars a day. And
Mr. stubbs, moreove, collected the
money.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

The Ring seems to have played a pref
ly smooth game of politics in order 10
eliminate all the candidates for sheriff
who might detract votes from its candi-
date, Mr. Belts. At least the informa-
tion given by J. w. Gibbons. one Of those
induced TO withdraw. seems to indicate
a deep-Iaid game. But it is possible the
Rings game was a little too deep. It is
quite likely to react.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
IN FORT SCOTT. TOO.

has continued the whisky cases to the
next term and publicly stated in court
that it is an utter impossibility to Sc
cure conviction in any Of the cases, with
the present jury, no matter how strong
or how convincing the evidence might
be. Why not arrest those jurymen and
teach them that to violate their oaths
is unsafe even to protect a liquor real
er.-Pratt Union.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
CONG THAT w..

one of the evangelists now working in
the city will preach a sermon in a few
nights on the subject, Prayer Meeting
in He'll" We notice quite a number of
people who appear to be making ar
rangements to attend that meeting.-
WELLINGTON Mail
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

While the Democrats would doubt
less like to have Harry Mcmillan head
their ticket for governor this year, it is
suspected that the Minneapolis states
man is waiting to see if the Repubn-
cans intend to try to re-elect Mr.. Cal
derhead to congress from the Fifth dis
trict- If they do there is also a sus-
picion abroad that Senator Mcmillan
may take a notion to run for congress
94F711ea7f
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

As a matter of fact. how far do you
suppose Brown of Brown county will
get in the legislature with his bill to
establis a state business college at
Hiawatha2 Still, it is probably a good
sumption.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

Governor Folk refused to say what
he would do were he governor Of Kan
sas, because it might be discOurteOUs
10 Governor Hoch, but one cannot help
wishing that Kansas might borrow him
for a. week or two, just to find out.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

John d. Rockefeller played a joke on
some Of his employees the other day by
sending them valentines consisting CT
I'VE dollar bills-rea1 comic valentines.
The advance In the price Of oil may be
7~pleed for at any time.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

Some people wish to know why so
much is said about the failure OF a jury
TO convict the 5ointists in Shawnee coun-
ty. but nothing is said about any such
failures in sedgwiclz or Leavenworth
counties. But that Is different. There
have been no such failures in Sedgwick
and Leavenworth counties, for the rea-
son that no juries in those counties have
been given a chance to commit such
faunrea.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
oUR INDIGNANT CHIEF.

It is said that some Topeka woman
offered to take the chief of police
around the town and show him thirty
five Joints. The chief Indignantly de-
clfned the offer. How would it look
for an officer to visit saloons in that
kind of company ?-Salina Journal.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

F Somebody has started a boom for Sec
retary BonaDarte for president. What
g historical coincidence it would be if 4
relative Of the conqueror Of Europe
should become the head Of the Ameri-
unu raffonf
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

1t appears that there is a string or
two attached to the proposition Of the
railroads to give Kansas City two new
junior depots. The chief string is that
kansas City must furnish the land and
indirectly do the building. Kansas City
isn't used to such propositions as that.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

Anyway the advertising Arizona Is
getting IN the statehood fight is doing
1t no harm. Most people have had an
idea that Arizona is wild and woolly,
and they are surprised to learn that it
is as civilized as New England, and that
a considerable percentage Of its inhabit-
ants are college graduates.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

The washington Post commits this:
Those who have compared the new pub
lic printer to Mr.. Eugene Ware should
at least give him credit for the fact that
up to date the employees Of the big print
cry have found no original poetry in
their nav envelopes.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

A great many politicians who have
great itching for Office will be unable
to understand Ex-Governor Bailey's re-
fusal to run for any office. There are
those whose highest ambition, next to
holding an Office, is running for one.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
WHY Oh WHY2

says he didn't. Here is a chance to
take your choice without paying your
money. Amy way, why do the packers
want immunity if they are not guilty ?
Hutchinson News.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
IDEA NOT NEW

tentiariedD is a recently coined word.
1t is not new, and certainly there has
been free and almost unlimited coin
age of what it denotes.-LouisvflIe
COurier-JOurnal
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
REFLEcTIoNs OF a BACHELOR.
TFrom the New 20 e.

man gets old awful fast after his
children begin to give him advice
The comfortable things about women's
brains is they hardly ever show.
No woman ever considers herself fat as
long as there is another fatter.
man ought to be fair enough to trust
his wife If he needs trusting, himself
The trouble with the gout IS you can't
make people people believe Il Is only rheu-
mafisrn.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

In the absence of specific data on the
subject we venture the prediction that
George and Howard Gould are not
weeping over the prospect Of the loss
Of q French count as a brother-in-law.
II 1904 they approached the 100000 600
WASHINGTON Post
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

Now that the rate bill goes to the
senate, there is more reason than ever
for keeping the Smoot hearing alive
Chicago Record Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

"a straight dash of 500 miles win lead
one to the north pole,'' seys an eastern
paper. The distance is not so great but
the walking is said to be bad and the
good roads movement has not yet pene-
trated the northern regions.-Iola Rec
ord
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

Senator Foraker says the Hepburn
bin IS Impractical and uneonstitution-
al OF course it ts-from the rail-
roads standpoint.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

} Isn't it about time for President Baer
to come forward and OFFER a few re-
marks about the divine right Of some
Lpeople to run the coal mines?
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

Another old adage is busted. Mrs.
Y erkes-A Miner was married In haste
fbut she did not repent at leisure. Oh,
no. She repented In haste also.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
WHERE CHIcAGo sCOREs-

Chicago boasts Of 100 murders last
year-the largest number ever known
in any city of equal size anywhere
throughout the world.-Boston Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

; Very likely Doc Newman thinks an
assistant postmastership in the hand IS
worth two or three state aud1torships
.in the bush where they cannot be
Iranallf
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

{ OF course there are plenty Of people
who believe the prohibitory law is
GIarce, but the convicted jointist who is
serving time in jail isn't among the
nm, .ar
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
BUT HE WILL GET THERE.

A Detroit paper. complains that Sen
ator La F'ollette's feet do not reach the
floor when he sits in mis- senate chair
Send him a foot rest.-Memphis Com
mercia1 Appeal
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
A DOUBTFUL ADVANTAGE.

The advantage of island possessions
is about to be demonstrated. Arrange
ments are being made for a yacht race
from San Francisco to Honolulu-In-
dianapoIis News
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
Ms. ALFoNsO.s IOB.

The palace of the Escuriai in Spain
has 5000 rooms. With a house like
that to sweep and dust. is it any Won
der that Alfonso wants a wife.-Brook-
lyn Eagle.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

If this were a real empire now Mr..
Roosevelt would 90 down IN history as
Iheodore the Great.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

All that the president wants is rate
regulation that viii regulate rates. That
seems Philadelphia IN
Quirer.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

Here Is the way Boston hears about
1.-THE paragraph appears in the Bos-
ton Transcript: "Out in Topeka. Kan.
q band Of determined women is hunt
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

Tammany is wondering whether po-
liticaI Indians are doomed to exter-
mination with the rest.-Wa Washington
Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
GAMRLER GATEs

John w. Gates is said to have re-
buked q gambler for having spoken to
him in public--Chfcago Journal.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

Two years ago a large number of
boss buster organs could not abuse J.
T. Prinzle enough because the legis-
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

You've seen che cur dog chase the cat.
AS though to eat her up
You 've seen the cats tail swell before
This quite ferocious pup.
You've seen the cat then turn around,
All ready for a fray,
And then you've seen the pup so brave
Skidoo the other way.
" ell, this old world has lots Of folks
Who're greatly like this dog,
They go for things and ''Whoop 'er up
And have US all agog.
But when they meet setbacks and ind
Their work Is not all play,
These buffers, like this canine, small,
Skidoo the other way.
Denver Post.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

And now, George" sobbed the bride
who was starting on a visit to her moth
er's. 7 must bid you a long farewell"
"Youu have to make 1t short one il
you re leaving on this train," put IN an
unfeeling conductor IAN aboard ~
Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

Rivers-Brooks, you've heard that IA
miliar saying; Give a man rope
enough
Brooks-"And he'll smoke himself to
death?', oh, yes, I've heard that, and
have often wondered who the pretended
friend OF yours is that's trying to XII YOU
off-Chicago Tribune
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

At a meeting in North Canberwell a
lady heckler asked DR.. NTacNamara IL he
was in favor of the repeal of the bias
pheny laws.
oh. I'm a golfer replied the candi-
date.-W Westminster Gazette.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01

MY bargain matinees do not seem to
be drawing p
What are the priees2"
Fifty cents and one dollar downs stat - -
Make it 40 and SO cents and you'll win
out, old man."-Louisville Courier-Jour-
nal.