The Washington times., 1906-09-02
Trials of Trio Who Want
Light, Air and Closet
Space.
LIKE CHASING CHIMERA
What Houses May Within
Them Hide Though Palaces
on the Outside.
BY KATHERINE LENox.

WINGED mat i QOI4 Know = Epou mouse
when I see one. and I. in turn. feel
sure that when they were growing up
fourteen real estate agents studied any
thing else but real estate. Botany
might have figured In their calculations.
and even mythology, for when said
20 them, as one friend would to an
other, gently and without hesitation,
that what ] wanted was house, they
insisted in telling me all about the trees
and back Yards of their property and
a lot more things that l failed 10 find
when / WAS even we'll on the hunt
Having at many times gone out GA
similar hazardous adventures and not
caring to experience the joys alone,
] took two OF my friends. One was
an oId-timer at the business and the
other has since become one. In fact,
the short person developed real human
intelligence about houses and front
yards during the afternoon. She got
so she could tell a For Rent" sign
when she saw one. and If you ask her
today she can tell you just which
houses are open and ready for inspec-
lion and which ones youll have to get
KEYS for. The chsperone has developed
a habit of squirting one eye and max
ing a guess on just what every house
on the block rents for. She has poked
her nose into every corner OF every
house that we went into and has mani
tested a knowledge Of light and shade
that would make the late Mr. Whistler
groan from the twangings Of the green
eyed monster.
Heart and Foot Sore.
When the three OF us started off il
was with the light. buoyaIt step OF the
Young; when we came back IL was a
Trio Of footsore, heartsore, and very dis
Rusted house-hunters. Dozens Of houses
had come in for inspection; as many
real estate agents had come IN Tor
very exclusive handling in the best
English We knew for the purpose. ana
we had come I'm for-dinner.
Starting or due south with a turn 10
the westward and again 90 the north,
the little party Of chirrupy hunters went
blithely on. Calling your attention 10
the other side OF the picture as they
saw in stereopticon lectures or on the
rubber neck wagons 1 might say
that again we took a turn TO the west
and way off in the distance spotted the
house we were looking for. II stood OF
10 one side Of the street, as houses are
wont TO do, and scampering about the
front lawn Ga quarter of a yard or so
OF the goods, il you please-enough Tor
one short pun sleeve was the cutest lit
tie fox terrier you almost ever saw me
agent hadn't said anything about the
dog so We had TO pass him up and go
within.
Revelations on Inside.
once inside. there were things to see.
One never goes into a house without
feeling that this Is just the very thing
wanted, when one comes out again, as
one is mighty sure to do. it is with
feeling Of sorrow. keen and deep, that
there isn't some particular ordinance by
which real estate agents may be pun
ished-slapped three times on the wrist
In rand succession or made TO write
fudge" $50 times.
This particular house, the first one
looked good from the outside 1t was one
~ a row Of neat red brick structures
that might have been the homes or
some Of those same real estate agents
I said might" They were brand new
the houses. The ole We went through
had never been lived in. We haven't yet
decided Just why, but think we know
II was a three-story house. ten rooms
not counting the reception hall and
full length mirror downstairs that kept
the short person busy all the time we
we're going through the rest OF the
house. She said il looked good TO her.
That Sepulchral Dining Room.
Some few hours back. the agent had
told us. the house rented for $50. He
should have said may rent" There
was a dark dining room that looked so
in the bright afternoon sun and we
wondered about gas bills IN the winter
time. only one window looked out into
the world and that was q small section
Of the earth bottled up IN narrow
areaway. Not more than four people
could get IN at the same meal and then
there'd be considerable pushing and
showing. The chaperone stood at the
window for n little while It got so
dark that we thought a storm was COM
ing I'D and the short person put on her
overshoes and raised her umbrella. She
forgot Il was bad luck to hold an UNI
brella over her head in the house and
when we saw her later she was still
standing In the middle OF the reception
hall Gin front Of the long mirror saying,
''HOcus pOcus, Genie meenie, gehst du,
tonner bitten"
Nte went upstairs took look through
the five sleeping rooms and were about
TO say II wasn't so bad after all. when
the short person shifted her nose up in
the air and said:
well. I'd just like 70 know where
body is TO hang her clothes"
Lilliputian Closets Only.
And sure enough. There were closets.
but on. the man who first Invented
c7lbbyholes would have hied him back TO
the tall timbers at the sight OF the little
indentations in the walls that were
meant for clothes closets. They looked
Verv much as If somebody had pushed
them In and then built a door 20 cover
"a the rash. We opened one Of them
and the short person aud nearly
bumped our snub noses when We tried
10 look in. Fathers trousers might
hang there il they were urged. but not
that old hoop skirt of me great grand
mothers that I've been treasuring these
many moons. In every room the pusher
had been busy and TO think Of that so
a MONTH
The three OF US filed out Of the house
with all the dignity we could command
and started on the hunt for a house
with light and air and nice easy monthly
payments.
Cottage Overwhelmed With Signs.
Ouy noses oofnfed toward the east