The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-09-30
HOO MON

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and mother begins to cover the holly
hooks, then the book agent energies
from his lair with sample copies of
some rare works Of art They are
slightly damaged, Of course, in the
binding, but for that fact would sell
for 500. But now you can have them
for $38, SO cents down and SO cents
quarter as long as you live; delivery
now or at Christmas, your wife's birth
day or the anniversary Of your great
aunt going out on a steamboat ride for
the trst time. On any terms you
choose to name those books are yours.
How would you like to receive let
ter from Armour running like this:
"Dear Sir: We have some hams
slightly damaged in the manufacture.
we have not opened the canvas for
they are Berkshire or Spanish black
hanson second thought they may be
Normans-but whatever they are
they're yours at two-thirds off. The
canvas cost more than that. Shall we
book you for 200 hams at once, as the
rush for these bargains threatens to be
enormous, and we don't want you to
Makers Of ham seem to have hest
tation about advertising damaged
goods, but it is different with books.
If the bind is a little off socially, or
the contents little tinged morally,
they are expected to go like hot cakes.
A few days ago there appeared a no.
tice Of some volumes of humor which
Mark Twain, Andrew Lang and Some
other serious-minded men are editing.
The reviewer took occasion to comment
on the appearance of the name f'Thom-
as" Watson over several pages de-
voted to the writings of Ian MacLaren.
The reviewer thought it was a mistake
as MacLaren is the nom de plume Of
Sohn watson, respectable, retired
an error9 Perhaps it is only scheme
to flood the land with works of humor
at enormously reduced prices, because
of the unfortunate mistake in
name" Most people would overlook
the Thomas Watson, and if the price
were reduced on that account, they
would be apt to say that they didn It
care if it was William Watson or Hen
ry Watson, they didn It care especially
for Watson anyhow.
T.. $50 $50
I = A little girl was sreciting her geogra-
ply lesson the other day at father IS
knee. She was glibly running off the
| names OF mountain ranges and catalog-
ing the volcanoes they contained when
father interrupted the flow of elo-
| quence with a question. "What is a
volcano?" he asked.
80 A volcano-a volcano-a volcano is
a thing that goes up, zip, like that,'
and she illustrated the definition. It
was graphic and probably as correct
as somebody's else idea about volca-
no. A good many men have worked
around the edges of volcanoes and
work always in the hope that the vol
cano will go zip on their day off.
There is wonderful fascination about
volcanoes. They are like the bad hab-
it; one fools with them until he loses
I consciousness and falls in. Then they
| furnish us with some Of our striking
| Illustrations. Hades is often likened
to a volcano. Not long ago man
travelling in the west came to a town
! where ne was to do business with a
certain man, and being somewhat anx-
1ous to learn who he was going to deal
with, asked the hotelkeeper tsWhat
kind OF man is Mr.. B Of your
Z. - =. Heis this kind Of: a man. said the
boniface.. =. {. While he wouldn't 90
plumb to hell for a nickel, he would
keep fishing around the edges until he
The stranger was satisfied that he
would have to do business with B. on
a cash basis. :.<~s
Still B might have been misjudged
been misjudgeq. Everybody has heard
about Judge Jeffreys, because he was
unfortunate enough to have Macaulay
tor his press agent, and Macaulay has
made it pretty plain he was not the
kind of man you would like to meet on
a dark side street. Now, it is claimed
that Macaulay, a lawyer himself, was
| led away by his prejudices and did JEFF
freys a monstrous Injustice in his his
tory: There never was such a Jeffreys
as Macaulay depicts, a roaring, swear
ing knave, intimidating witnesses, try.
ing both sides of the case and rushing
innocent folks. off to the block in q
gleeful way whatever the flaws in the
evidence against them. Fortunate for
Jefreys the record in the most import
ant cases he tried has been preserved
in the State Trials and an examination
OF these tends to show that Jeffreys,
according to his lights and making al.
lowance for the fact that he was a good
Halter, made a very fair judge. It is
not pretended that he was either a high.
minded or virtuous man. But the
truth about him lies as usual some.
where to the lee side Of the report of
his enemies.
| His fame is in somewhat the same
pred1cament of the reputation of man
who runs for an office. If all the
things said about him by those who
would rather some one else held the of.
flee were published as his official BIZ
ography, his family would set the dog
on him when he came home History
has been setting its dogs on Jeffreys
for two centuries and only now are the
qualifying facts coming out. ~. F
- 5
Arthur moved into new flat. He
moved in before it was finished. III
knew that, but he did not know that
the builder was a genius. He did not
know that after he had moved and his
| wife had set the parlor furniture in the
corners she favored, and they had hune
their curtains that the builder wonlc
take out all the windows and beo;r
putting in the weights. Neither ala
I they know that after ), the woodwork
was painted and the paper hung al
the walls would be punctuated will
: gas pipes. These things have hap
i pened and the workmen are only ius1
making a good beginning. The ot the
morning hubby and WHEY were al
. breakfast, when iron pipes began t. t.
make their way thru the floors at va
81 rlOuS Tsoints Huhhv oollaa r.,