Morgan County democrat. (Versailles, Mo.) 1900-1906, 1906-03-30
most astonished animal I ever ~.

He swelled up, and then beloved until
the COW looked as though she would
sink through the ground, saying: "Ex.
cuse me. dear, but I am not to blame.
because I. too, have a hot box" The
bull acted just as human as could be.
cause he looked mad at her. and was
going to gore her to death. when pa
and some of the hands came up and
hit him with a tent stake. and swore
at him. and he quit fighting bis wife.
just like a man. Pa wanted 70 know
what in thunder was the matter with
the animals, and wanted N know II
| had fed them the turnips. and I
told him they had all been fed, and
just then the giraffe. whose neck was
so long the horseradish did not reach
a vital spot as quick as 1t did with
the hippo, began to yell for the po-
lice and dance around. Finally he
stood on his head and neck. with his
heels against a cage, and coughed like
he had caught pneumonia. Pa sale
to the boss canvasman: well, what
do you think OF that"
The zebras had their inning next.
and after they had swallowed their
rations OF hOrseradish, they never said
a word. but began to run around like
dancing the lancers. and when they
got to going it looked like a kaleido-
scope. and the six zebras looked like
Il million. Pa said: 81 never saw
such a sight since | used I drink.
but I have either got the jim-jams.
or something awful has happened to
this menagerie."
The educated hog got q double dose.
and he squcaled and couldn't pick out
the right card, and then the llamas
got busy on their portion of horse
radish. and they cried in Spanish, and
stood on their hind legs and shed
tears. Pa got so ratified he looked ten
years older than he did when the
afternoon performance opened. The
manager Of the big show came in tn
know why the elephants had not beer
sent into the dressing-room, to be got
ready for the grand entree. Just then
the elephants began to eat their horse
radish, and when they were driven
into the big tent they were complain
ing about something being wrong in.
side of them, and as they came by the
lemonade stand they seemed to be
yelling Fire" Then they all stopped
at the stand and began to drink the
lemonade out Of the barrels, which
seemed to put out the fire.
The animals quoted down a little, and
pa went into the big tent to consult
the manager, and | thought it was a
shame that the lions and hyenas ant
|, tigers couldn't have any fun, So
went to the table where the meat wa;
| laid Out ready to feed them. and cut
( hole in each piece OF meat and put II
n double handful of horseradish. ant
. Just then the feeder came along an
began to throw the meat in the cages
2 Gee. but those carnivorous ami
! mails are bad enough. ever II yO'
give them nice boiled sirloin steak. ant
} they fight enough over it. at any time
= but when they began to chew and tea
, the meat, and get horseradish hot from
the griddle, they didn't do a thing
l The audience thought the animal
t would kill everybody. The big lilo!
< got his MEAT down, but 1t didn't sc
well, and he turned a somersault
and snarled. and pulled the bars of tn
v cage, while the grizzly bear rolled u
I IN a ball and rolled over in his Gag
d till the men had to hold on to tn
Z wheels to keep the shebang from go
C ing over. The hyenas, who are al
ways mad, went on a tear that coul,
be heard in all the tents.
Pa and the managers came back Int
the menagerie tent with the ANNA
q keeper, who had been sent for, an
they began to try to find out VIVA
d allied the animals, and the ANNA
keeper asked what pa lad been feed
ing them, and pa said he had give
them their ground turnips.
"Turnips. indeed" said the keeper
as he tool up some of the turnip an
tasted OF it, and he handed a hand
full to pa. Pa tasted of it. and p
had a hot box, and the managers taste
of It, and they said: mo wonder.
Then they asked pa where he got !
!, and pa said he sent me to order
} and then they all said: THAT Sc
= ties It,"
thought | would go way and jun
in the river, but pa said: "Henner.
come here, my angel" and he spit o
his hands and picked up q barrel stay'
| went right up to pa, as innocent
could be, just as any dutiful SO
49, 49,. =. ON