davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
WORRIES ARE MANY
WHEN JOHN CHlNAMAN BUILDS
HIMSELF A HOME.
innumerable Precautions Necessary
Lest Ill Fortune Be the Lot of the
Inhabitants-Much Time Consumed
in Preliminaries.

When Chinaman has decided to
build himself house the first person
he consults is not an architect, but a
sort of wizard.
This Individual examines the site
and marks the exact spot for the front
door. In China front doors must new
err face due south, though partly
southern aspect is highly desirable.
Only the houses of the emperor and
of high governing officials may front
due south.
The wizard, or geOmancer, next pre-
scribes the exact size of the front
door. An inch too much or too little
might have disastrous consequences.
A screen of wood or of bricks must
be erected about three yards in front
of the door. This is to keep out any
evil breath. Not human breath, nor
malaria, nor bad odors; but some
! mysterious and fatal something which
is only to be kept out by that screen.
I The wizard next locates the spot
for the kitchen fireplace. This also
must not face south, because the south
represents fire. and the kitchen fire
and the south fire, working together,
would be so powerful that the house
would just naturally burn up.
Having settled the question of place,
the wizard figures out a time when
work may be begun with some degree
of safety. For instance, if the earth
god should be at home when the work
men began digging they might stick
a spade into his august Uranium and
then there would be the devil to pay.
The family living in that house would
die out
The wou1d-be builder must also find
out whether it is year when he may
with safety begin anything. There are
lots of these unlucky years. A man
must not be married, for instance,
when his age is "a or 26, or any even
number.
Having picked out favorable year,
John must next consider his two lucky
months, for there are only two out of
the twelve which are favorable to his
undertaking new things. Then his
yellow road days or good ones must be
determined. There are more black
road days than yellow ones, so the
suspicious moments for starting his
house are finally reduced to pretty
limited number.
But that isn't all. The lucky days
of the whole family must next be fig
ured out, compared. with Johns own
yellow road days and the result boiled
down. The proper moment for put
ting the front door in place, for build
ing the kitchen fireplace and so on are
then decided on, and, after waiting
perhaps several months for the aus
picious day to arrive, John can at last
begin work.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Chanqina Ones OCCUPATION.

1T is not everyone who wishes
to change his occupation, but one fire.
quently hears of people: who have
forsaken one, profession 81. trade for
another, and in their new calling have
reached the highest rung in. the ladder
Of fame;''' says Ideas. THE spirit of
genuine self-help is the root: Of all
growth in the. individual, and consti-
tutes the true source sof national
:vigor and strength: Before a man de-
finitely decides upon making a change
from one calling to another he: should
question himself as to his. energies,
liabilities, i. and: chances OF success
in the new calling he proposes to zen:
ter. The early. age ut which youths
II this country take Is a. profession
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
The Strongest impression.

"And you enjoyed your sea voy-
age?" we ask of the friend who has
returned from his trip to Australia.
Every WE'LL" he says. ::
'*You were quite long while on the
sea weren't you?" 49,: rcsr:*7
MANY weeks" So
*:No doubt the constant communing
with the worldwide sweep of waters,
with their ceaseless waves and their
mysterious swellings and sinkings,
creates strong impression on one?"
ut does::'', -.
"One must become inspired with
the awful majesty of the. ocean, with
the thought of its eternal unrest, of
its unsolyable mysteries?"
Eyes, he does think 3. of that; but
that wasn't the strongest impression
I got'' +z:: ! -: ... ~. .4
mo? And what was the strongest
impression you had ~ r.. r..
The absolutely utter impossibility
of: taking "a walk down the street
after dinner to get . cigar. New Or
leans Picayune: s:# /. s.s..s 81.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
A Bangor Minister'S Story,

A certain minister of Bangor, Me-,
Joined fishing party of his friends
for two weeks in woods camp. Sun
day morning some of the boys wanted
to so fishing, and got away without
being seen by the minister; but. one
fellow, slower than the rest. was
caught by the minister Just as he was
setting up his rod: The fisherman
made excuses. and added: II suppose
you: would not care to go?'.
In answer, the minister told the fol-
lowing story: when It. was settled
in the church at Dixmont in the first
years of my ministry,I was called out
Of bed one night to marry couple
who had both been bereft of their
first partners by death. When I got
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

In the past three years a total of
16O flights have been made with our
motor-driven flyers, and a total dis
lance of almost exactly $50 miles Gov
cred, an average of mile to each
flight, but until the machine had re.
ceived its final improvements the
flights were mostly short, as is evi
denced by the fact that the flight of
Oct. was longer than the los flights
of the year 1904 together.
1.-THE lengths Of the flights were
measured by Richard thermometer
which was attached to the machine
The records: were found to agree close
ly with the distances measured over
the ground when the flights were
made in calm air over a straight
course; but when the flights were
made in circles a close comparison
was impossible because it was mo-
practicable to accurately trace the
course over the ground. In the fligh
of October 5th total of 1917 circuits
of the field was made. The times were
taken with stop-watches.
TN operating the machine it ha:
been our custom for many years tt
alternate in making flights, and suc1
cars has been observed. that neither
| of us has suffered any serious injury
thought at the earlier fights ou
ignorance and the inadequacy- of thu
means of control. made the work ex
! ceedingly dangerous"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
TEACH IN BUDDHIST TEMPLES
Places of Worship Now Used for Mod
ern Education.

Places of Worship Now Used for Mod
ern Education.
During a recent visit to Hal
Cheng," says Consul General Sam
mons, "a city of between 10000 and
10000 population, located near Lao
Yang, on the Chinese Eastern railway,
the Chinese magistrate, Mr.. Kuan
Feng Ho, Informed me of his desire
for illustrations and price lists CIV
ing information regarding the follow
ing articles: Simple mechanical de-
vices for spinning cotton yarn by
hand, simple mechanical devices for
weaving cotton cloth by hand, hand
machines for weaving coarse sacking,
simple hand power machinery for
weaving coarse silk and machinery
for making rope by hand.
ssThis particular magistrate is one:
of the most progressive Cinnamon I
have met in the Orient. He is dis
ciple of Yuan Shin Kai, the Tien Tsin
Viceroy, who is advocating reform
methods for. China. -
t, "He has turned the two large. Bud
dhist temples and a temple; to Confu-
cius, in Hal Cheng, into temples Of
modern education and modern prison
reform methods. The more important
temple is the seat of education in
Magistrate Kuans district, which
comprises large part of that section
Of Manchuria between Mukden and
the port of Niuchwang. Two bright
Japanese male educators are in
charge, and the chief aim is the prac-
tical one Of preparing native teachers
for the schools soon to be esta blished
in the entire district" -
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
French. FOREIGN Leuion,

The picturesque French Foreign
Legion which has just obtained the
honor of bearing the insignia of the
Legion of Honor on it's standard,
dates. from 1881, and to some extent
takes the place in the French service
of the old Swiss mercenaries, many
of whom are numbered: among it's
earliest recruits. It only. serves
abroad, however, and has principally
served in Algeria
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
When the Boy Rebelled.

A friend told me of little boy that
she knew who had rs cents given to
him. OF course, he began to spend it
mentally without delay. When he told
his mother that he intended to buy a
kite with his money, she said:
"Oh, wouldn't spend it for that"
So he gave the kite up. A little
while after he told his father that he
had made, up his mind to buy a top.
And forthwith his father remarked:
ooh, don't spend it for a top!"
And he did not When out walking
with his auntie he saw something in
a store window marked rs cents. He
wanted it, and he had the money for
it. So he said to his auntie, II think
I'll go into that store and buy that
ball." But his auntie exclaimed: ooh,
I wouldn't spend Is cents for that"
The youngster walked on; then he
asked his aunt these questions:
"Auntie, is this rs cents my mothers
money!" "No," said she. us it my
father's?" NO. els it yours?" Why,
no, of course not. <Is it my Is cents?''
Certainly, it is yours" well, then,
d. the 25 cents,'' said the boy;
I'm going to throw it over into that
open lot. "-Chicago Journal.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

or trade accounts, in a great measure,
for the number who do not find their
calling to their liking, and desire. per-
haps not unnaturally. to make a
change. Having decided that their
work is uncongenial, too many let
their minds drift on the dark sea of
no hope instead of trying to find out
the surest way to succeed"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
The Truth at Last.

"General.' said the shade of .Emer.
son. Il should like to know the true
story OF that cherry-tree episode"
We'll. it was this way" replied the
shade of Gen. Washington. Papa
said to me: George, did you cut down
that prune seratina?' No. papa said
!. l cannot tell a lie. did not And
there the incident closed You see,
the tree was not a prune seratina at
all. but prune cerasus.''
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Welded to His Art,

What has become of punkline, the
poet?"
"Oh. he's quit the poetry business
and gone into the artificial gas bust
ness.''
'Why did he do that?"
"He was just determined to make
his fortune scanning meters. kan.
sas City Times.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Best He Could Do,

'<You know" said the young man in
the case, that am poor, but don't
you think we might be able to live on
bread and cheese and kisses?"
YES replied the fair maid "but--''
*'Then," he interrupted, 'see if you
can work your father for the bread and
cheese and I'll attend to the .rest''
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Japan Raising Peanuts.

Japan has just entered the peanut
market with a grade of nuts which is
attracting attention. English walnuts
come from California, France of Italy,
with France furnishing the largest
supply. The prices which rule
throughout the country are fixed by
an association of growers in Califor-
MA.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
A Domestic Note.

Tete de Veau took newspaper
from his pocket, chuckling.
Look here" he said. Look at this
advertisement Smith has in the per-
sonal column. Come back and I'll. be
KINDER When did his wife leave, do
YOU know?'"
1T isn't his wife," LOignon an
sWered. Its his cook"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
In Effect.

why, Slibbles,' we say to our
friend, in surprise. when we see him
pulling at big, fat cigar, didn't you
swear off smoking the first of the
year. Didn't you VOW not to smoke
another cigar for five years?'
Yes he replies, blowing out a
huge cloud of smoke. Eyes, did.
and say, it seems to me to be ahont
ten years since swore Off"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Not Evenly Matched.

Have you anything to say why
sentence should not be pronounced
upon you?" asked the Judge.
Nothing, your honor, except that I
hope you will make allowance for the
fact that the lawyer who convicted me
had a louder voice than the one who
defended Milwaukee Sentinel
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

FARMERS. announced the fair visi-
tor from the city, *'are just as dis
honest as city milkmen."
"How dye make that out?" asked
her host
why, I saw your hired man this
morning water every one Of the cows
before he MIXED them"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Take a Bottle or Two.

Rimer-Have you read any OF
those versifed advertisements I'm
writing for "Phissick's Pink Pan
acea?"
Crittick-Yes, and they make me
sick.
Rimer-Good. That's the effect I
want them to have. 1t helps the sale
OF the "Panacea.''
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

to the place where + asked the man
if'he took this woman to be his lawful
wife, he exclaimed: Look here, par
son, what in HI do you think I'm
here for?'"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
A Joke on Him.

whats old man Groucher kicking
about?" asked the hardware dealer:
"Wanted ten pounds O. nails re-
piled the clerk, IAN wouldn't trust us
to send 'em. Insisted on taking them
with him."
Huh! hope he'll sweat for it,
"I'N bet he will I sneaked five or
six extra pounds of 'em in the pack
age
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Wise Papa.

She-Papa believes in the pleasures
Of anticipation.
He-Do you agree with him?
She-Oh, yes. indeed. In the sum-
mer he promises to buy me a sealskin
coat the following winter if III give
up going to the seaside, and in the
winter he promises to send me to the
seaside the following summer If I'll
give up the sealskin coat. So, you see,
l am always happy.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Almost.

Ialk about dreams coming true-l
dreamed last night that burglar en-
tered my room, took my watch from
the dresser and sneaked out before 7
could catch him. woke up, jumped
out OF bed and looked for the watch. "
WAS it gomez
NO. but it was going"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Nothin' Ooin'.

Jack-I proposed to Miss Straight
lace the other evening, and she in
sisted on my giving up drinking,
smoking and automobiling on Sun
days.
Tom-Well?
Jack--So I gave up the idea of mar
rying her.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
jupiter Noddinu.

Shakespeare is all wrong,' NUT
tered the leading man to the soubrette
as the star walked out in front to take
the call meant for the chief actors.
I'm what PARTICULAR" asked the
soubrette.
THE fault is in ourselves that we
are junderlings," angrily replied the
leading man as he watched the. mo.
nopoly in front of the footlights.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Over and Over.

well" said Morrell, speaking of
the demise of a mutual friend, "a
man can only die once, and"
II don't know about that" inter-
rupted Wiseman. II see by the papers
that the youngest drummer boy to
enter the union service is dead again"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Probably.

Probably.
What are you crying for?"
II fell down on the ice and papa
laughed at me-"
But that's nothing to cry about"
Il know it, and I amt crying about
that; but papa fell down on the ice
and I laughed at him.
We'll, I wouldn't cry about that,
either
you would if you go the spankin'
I got. '-Houston Post.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Johns Limb-itations,

DO you think John will grow any
taller?''
~ hope not
'Why?'
He's almost too tall now for his
fathers old pants.'
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
rue to Nature.

Nervous Bridge Player (deprecat-
1ngly playing cards)-I really don t
know what to play I'm afraid of MAX
ing a fool of myself
Lady Partner (reassuringly) 49,
That's all right. don't see what else
YOU could have done.-Punch
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
One of the MANY.

Hicks-Does she take in boarders.
Wicks-Sh-h! Don't speak so loud.
But between you and. me take JIM is
just the phrase. e.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Their Intelligence.

<:Ah, they seem to be two souls with
but single thought" remarked the
sad-faced man cycling the couple on
their honeymoon. -.
WELL" said the bachelor, II some
times think they have even less t:2an
that ,s4.5S::5
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

So He Might.
Il see that Edison indorses this
new scheme of special foods to stim-
ulate the brain to do certain lines Of
work.
THAT so?''
yes, but he'll have to make a dem
onstration of it's efficacy before in
vest
But what sort of a demonstration
could he make that would be con-
clusive?''
He might eat hunk of angel food
and invent a flying machine
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
One Of Its Uses.

AFTER, ALL" said the moralizer,
whats the good of money, anyway %
''Well,' replied the demoralizexsiff:iit
enables a man who has it to keep
away from the people from whom he
could not keep away if he didn't have
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Keeping AfIoat.

A month had passed since the count
ess had sued for divorce. A week had
gone by since the papers had men
toned the affair.
my DEAR" said the count, cant
you file amended papers or some
thing? We've got to keep in the
swim, you know"
Thereupon the lawyers were set to
ork afreSh.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
A Bitter View.

A Filter View.
Lovatt-"It's funny that love stories
should invariably end with the mar
rage of the hero and heroine"
Henpeck-"Why 500"
Lovatt-"Because that's really only
the beginning Of their lives"
Henpeck-"That may be, but it's
the end Of the love story
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1906-10-19
Kept Tax Receipts Long.

Charles King, of East Liberty, a
suburb of Pittsburg, is what might be
termed a careful man. He has been a
voter in the East Liberty district since
1857 and when asked on the last reg
istration day if he had a tax receipt
he pulled from pocket tax receipts
for the last fl years. When asked by
the registrar if he had any more he
replied that if he went down deep in
to his strong box at home he might
possibly find a few dating long back
before the oldest member of the board
was born. Mr.. King is now rs years
old. having been born in Baltimore in
1928, removing to East Liberty in
1857. His first presidential vote was
cast for John c. Fremont and his last
for Theodore Roosevelt. He is a
stanch Republican and as contractor
and brick manufacturer for half CEN
fury has contributed much to the up
building and growth of East Liberty.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1906-10-19
IL YOU WANT 10 EARN MONEY

here your chance. We offer SIS, 900 in CASH
PRIZES for those VINO secure subscription for the
greatest magazine clubbing offers of the
Success and Woman Home Companion, each fora
full year. sld5; Success Vomans Home C0DpdniO
and Review Of Rerielcs. 500. Prizes are in addition
"A liberal commission each order. These clubs
almost sell themselves. Some earn 500 week.
many much ST. Can all your time
part of it, Write to-day for particulars before your
territory is taken.
SUCCESS MAGAZINE. IS Washington So R- New York CITY,
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1906-10-19
COPPER SAFE FROM LIGHTNING.
Belief Firmly Held in Many Parts OF
the Country.

"This matter of superstitions is
queer thing" said the man as he care
fully avoided walking under ladder,
for even those of us who are skeptics
have at least one superstitious failing,
and mine is walking under ladders.
I'm the country this summer | met
new one, which was firmly believed
in by several farmers, and that was
that thunder storm never passed
over a copper mine or copper VEIN
The old fellow who told me about IT
pointed out again and again that al
though black clouds might roll up and
lightning flash, the storm always went
around a certain spot in his farm.
Such actions on the part of thun-
der storm could mean but one thing,
he said-that there was copper vein
there. So sure was he of it, that he
was putting by little each year to
have the spot investigated to see II
there was copper enough in it to
work"
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1906-10-19
NO DAWDLING.
A Man of 20 After Finding Coffee Hurt
Him, Stopped Short.

When a man has lived to be 70 years
old with a 40-year-old habit grown to
him like a knot on tree, chances are
he'll stick to the habit till he dies.
But occasionally the spirit of youth
and determination remains in some
men to the last day of their lives.
When such men do find any habit of
life has been doing them harm, they
surprise the Oslerites by degree Of
will power that is supposed to belong
to men under 40 only.
81 had been user of coffee until
three years ago-a period of 40 years
and am now 10" writes N. Oak.
man. 81 was extremely nervous and
debilitated, and saw plainly that |
must make a change.
Il am thankful to say 1 had the
nerve to quit coffee at once and take
on Postum without any dawdling, and
experienced no i'll effects. On the con-
trary, commenced to gain. losing my
nervousness within two months, also
gaining strength and health otherwise.
For a man of my age, / am very
well and hearty. | sometimes meet
persons who have not made their
Postum right and don't like it. But l
tell them to boil it long enough, and
call their attention to my looks now,
and before used it, that seems con-
vinc-ng.
"lIow, when l have writing to do,
or l->tg columns of figures to cast up,
l fe-- equal to it and can get through
my work without the tagged out feel
ing Of old Name given by Postum
Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Read the
book, THE Road to MELVILLE" In
pkgs. There's a reason
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1906-10-19
Iricks of smuqaIers.

Double-bottomed bottles and other
vessels are common contrivances for
smugglers. In order not to awaken
suspicion they are usually filled with
some beverage, beer or wine, and this
is duly declared by the man in charge
of the vehicle in which they are car
ried At the present time. however,
the officers are never deceived by the
double bottomed bottles, nor, for that
matter, by the hollow horse collar,
which at one time was favorite dodge
for the alcohol smuggler.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1906-10-19
Lower Animals in Sickness.

Man might often take from the low
er animals lesson as to the care OF
himself when i'll. All sorts of animals
suffering from fever eat little; lie
quiet in dark, airy places, and drink
quantities of water. When dog loses
his appetite he knows where to find
dog grass, which acts as a purgative
and emetic. Sheep and COWS, when
i'll, seek certain herbs. Any animal
suffering frem chronic rheumatism
keeps as far as possible from the
sun. If chimpanzee be wounded he
has been seen to stop the bleeding by
plaster of chewed-up leaves and
grass.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1906-10-19

Important to Mothers.
Examine carefully every boftle of CASTOR1A,
safe and rure remedy for infants and children.
and see that It