davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03
THE AMERICAN DOMESTIC
QUEEN

The perils that beset royalty and the
menace Of anarchy are made strikingly
evident by the tragedy In Madrid An
other example OF the truth that "Un-
easy lies the head that wears a crown"
What do all the pomp and glitter Of the
royal wedding signify compared with
the ever present thought that hidden
serpents are near and only awaiting
their opportunity to strike?
Would any sensible American girl to-
day exchange situations with the young
queen of Spain? Probably tens Of thou
sands who account themselves sensible
would jump at the chance. That guess
Is warranted by the eagerness with
which 30 many American girls Of for
tune accept offers TO exchange wealth
for the bauble of title. Regardless of
the sad experience Of others in like cir
cumstances, they are ready and eager
to risk happiness for the sake of being
known as a countess, a duchess, etc.
But no really sane and level-headed
American girl would exchange the pros
pect Of happy domestic life with a
worthy American husband and the
likelihood of raising some young star
spanged banner Americans, for all the
fuss and feathers and the whole Span
ish circus In which Ena of Battenberg
has Just been a star performer.
Better life Of domestic happiness in
the humblest American home than the
life upon which the young queen of
Spain has just entered. A handful of
rice and an old shoe projected as the
last act in a plain American wedding
are more to be desired, by a common
sense American girl, that the mighty
wedding "send-off" that Ena Victoria
experienced in Madrid. And then think
of the bomb, the carnage it wrought
and the hairbreadth escape of both the
young queen and her royal boy hus-
band, with a future made gloomy by
daily forebodings and terrifying night
mares.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03
YELLOW FALLING OFF

1t isn't often that the Hearst yellow
admits or acknowledges in any way
its own deficiencies, glaring and well
known as they are to every one else
Like an ostrich it swallows everything
that comes it's way, and keeps its head
erstwhile in the sand, fondly believing
that because 1t can't see it's own rot
tenness and lying, no one else can.
But a startling admission of its own
loss of caste, failure and standing in
the community it befouls is contained
in it's issue of yesterday. This is the
assertion that its own alleged adver-
tising gain fell off during May more
than two-thirds of what it claimed
in March, and nearly two-thirds of
what it said it had in April.
OF course, no sane man believes for
an instant that the Ananias really
gained anything over it's odorous rec
ord Of a year ago-the columns Of the
sheet itself give the lie to it's own
claims, despite all the free advertise
lHCiltSJ dbOi Gu duNCl llSCulGIllS, ulS
continued-but-still-p printed advertise
ments, fake premiums to induce de-
luded persons to patronize its want
columns-from which, once in, they
never can pry their advertisements out.
Everyone in town knows that the
claimed gains are untrue on their face
every issue Of the yellow sheet proves
this. So. as a serious matter, the
claims are preposterous.
But the surprise is that Hearst should
admit such a tremendous falling off.
Certainly his longest creased liar must
have slipped a cog badly, and one
Ananias will surely lose his job when
Willie gets out from under arrest for
not attending the congress he swore to
support and disgraces so thoroughly.
However, admit for argument-if
credulity will admit even this-that the
figures are true-124S columns for
March, 1043 for April and only 461 for
May-what would this show? Simply
and only that the business men of
Los Angeles have at last got wise to
the fact that the yellow sheet is a
constant knocker, a menace to them
and to the city they love, a disgrace to
the state and a stencil in the nostrils
of the nation; that advertising in the
sheet not only doesn't pay, but is pos
itively a detriment to their business;
that upon them and their support rests
the blame for this jaundiced rags
presence here. and that. having be-
come wise to this fact, they are with
drawing from it by the wholesale.
This Willie Ananias will naturally
deny. But how can y.he? Either his
figures lie-which Of course they do
or the two-thirds slump in his adver-
tising means that Los Angeles mer-
chants are not taking his space ever
as "a free gift for nothin'." One OF
these he must admit-and whichever
one he may choose damns him for good
and all.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03
NOW WATCH US GROW

Now that the legal holidays have
ended and business may once more
proceed along it's accustomed channels,
there is removed from Los Angeles an
incubus which for six weeks has made
a very marked difference in its material
progress. Not that the city has not
gone ahead in spite of this drag-it
has done wonders during all this period
of suspended legal activity, and
this very fact rebounds unlimitedly to
its credit But there are many things
that it wanted to do which the holidays
the usual activities from the thrall and
gives the city it's full measure of abil-
ity to progress as it has been doing
for several years past
That Los Angeles will now bound for
ward as it never did before is the sober
consensus of opinion on all sides. That
it did outstrip even last years phenom-
email record, with the holidays handi-
Gaping it, has made its best informed
men marvel. This has also shown that
its forward movement partakes nothing
of the BOOM" for had that been the
case the holidays and consequent sus-
pension of public activities would have
| caused slump that it would have
| taken years to overcome. AS such was
not the case, the holidays have really
proved a blessing in showing.
But inevitably these same holidays
have hampered Los Angeles a great
deal, and while our records show
largely increased percentages in every
way even during their continuance, the
coming few months. which will follow
the removal of these restrictions, should
be the most phenomenal in the history
of Los Angeles. There is public work
to he done, of every character, amount
ing to millions of dollars. Nearly
s1,OOOOOO goes into new schools alone.
The sum Of $275,000 was recently voted
for new sewers, which will be rushed to
completion. The great outfall sewer will
be pushed. The miles and miles of
street work planned under the Vroo-
man act but held back because of the
and more millions viii thus be ex-
pended. The lighting systems on Hill
and Main streets may now be COM
pleted; the street work authorized by
the council win be done; the hundreds
of other matters held up for six weeks
will burst forth into being. and for
months to come the rush of work ir
this city of public character solely will
: be wonderful.
Added to this, however, win be q
tremendous volume OF private work
Numerous large deals in property ant
buildings have awaited the removal o.
! the legal restrictions so that the pa
pers might be signed. Monday will SCI
! the contamination of many of these
A this week should mark the close o
2 scores OF them. Activity all along tn
5 line is locked for by the most conserva
tive men in Los Angeles and prediction
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03
GLASS DOOR KNOBS

No greater oddities in wedding pres
ents than glass door knobs have been
thought of in many a day They are
the pleasing things nowadays, provided,
OF course, too many are not sent to the
bride. They must be of the finest cut
glass, and the more graceful the lines
and the finer the glass the better.
Equipped with a dozen of these the
young wife has a delightful task OF re-
placing the commonplace door knobs
of her new home with something at
tractive. Already several May brides
have received door knobs as persent 5,
and they have expressed keen delight
over the gifts But, simple as they may
seem, they are not cheap. II you are
in doubt Just make inquiries at some
fashionable jewelry establishment
New York Press.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03
TRnACHFRY AT THE TOP

do you want to reap the BENEFITS Of
this undertaking yourselves or do you
want to transmit hope TO your chill
dren or your chidren's children" Thus
speaks Theodore p Shonts, head of the
Panama canal commission. What he
says on the subject Is intended for the
ears of the whole American people, as It
comes from a public address delivered
at Atlanta.
II the plan Of making sea-level
canal be adopted. says the man pre-
eminently qualified TO Judge, the canal
will be something for the children or
grandchildren Of this generation to
hope for The time for completion of
the work, on that plan. can only be
conjectured, and the same is true con-
cerning the question of cost
But what Is the underlying cause OF
such persistent advocacy Of the sea-
level plan as has lately developed in
the United States senate? Remarks
made by Commissioner Shonts on this
point are suggestive, to say the least.
He says, "I am surprised that those
who are supposed to represent the best
interests of the American people should
try to throw obstacles in the way of
realizing the benefits of the work at
the earliest possible date" And it is all
the more surprising, as Mr.. Shonts de-
clares. When we can get a better
canal for less money and secure the
benefits ourselves. why wait, why make
it a heritage to our children?"
Whom does the chairman of the
canal commission allude to when he
makes this specific charge against
those who are supposed to represent
the best interests of the American peo-
Pile? Evidently he aims directly at
those members of congress, senator's
particularly. who insist upon a canal
plan that, in the estimation Of good
judges, will require twice the time and
double the money invested in the lock
plan.
And why this remarkable attitude on
behalf of leading representatives of the
people? Obviously the answer is found
in the same cause that induces such
leaders to fight the railway rate bill.
The stand they take on both these
issues is simply strong corroborative
evidence that they are representatives
of the great railway corporations, not
primarily representatives of the people.
The control of railway rates by the
interstate commission is blow at
monopoly in transportation. The Pan
anna canal project is aimed for a simi-
lar blow, although 1t directly affects
only the transcontinental railway sys-
TENS. All the greater railway systems,
however, have either direct or indirect
interests in roads reaching across the
continent. Their interests are antag-
onistic' to the canal project notwith-
standing pretense of Indifference.
And their creatures in congress are
supporting these interests by holding
up the canal, by the sea-level subter-
fuge, just as they are doing in respect
to the railway rate bill.
The majority of Republican United
States senator's and a large proportion
of Republican leaders of the house are
proving to the American people that
they are mere tools of the railway
corporations. mo man can serve two
masters" saith the Bible. AS between
the people and the corporations, these
Republican leaders prefer to stand on
the side of the latter.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

In any similar area on earth, excepting
only the worlds great battlehelds. It's
color effects are such as can be seen
nowhere else I'm the world-not the vel
vet-green of grass and foliage or the
variegated hues of spring time blos-
sons but the chemical pigments laid
on the eternal rocks and disintegrated
sands by the hand of the Master Painter
the vivid green and blue of copper.
the blood tints OF hematite and cinnabar,
the blushing rose Of inter, the dazzling
white OF salt and soda and borax, all
blending imperceptbly with the black
and gray of barren rocks, the dark car
mine, royal purple and pale green Of
mineral stained GRANTEES.
The valley was once the bed of a
great inland lake Of saline waters. AS.
these were evaporated the salts they
contained in solution were deposited,
somewhat in the order of their specific
gravties. on the higher levels In the
valley and its surrounding walls are the
borax deposits, now largely monopo-
lized by Francis Marion Smith. Twenty
five years ago borax was worth 81 a
pound. Thanks to the inexhaustible
quantities found in Death valley It now
retails for a few cents a pound. Be-
low the borax are spread acres on acres
of sodium carbonate, or soda; and at a
still lower level is salt in a crust six
to twelve inches thick, superimposed on
bottomess marshes. Thirty thousand
acres OF the valley are covered with
these important minerals The borax
beds are the richest in the world; and as
fast as they are removed new deposits
form in their places. with the pro-
vision of railroad facilities the importa-
tion of nitrate from Chile will probably
cease. The nitrate "in sight in this in
hospitable region at present prices
would be worth more than 81 900, 900, 900.
The wonders of Death valley have
been described too often to need more
than passing mention. The Devils
chair Is one of the most conspicuous-a
throne on the high bluffs that form the
portals to the valley. Ash meadows
form one of the regions most dreaded
by prospectors-a deadly plain strewn
with lava and scoriac, on which even
the Joshua tree, the Spanish bayonet,
the sagebrush and the greasewood of
the desert refuse to grow. Near the
heart of the valley are Saratoga springs
bubbling up in a circular, crater like
basin. The basin overflows, forming a
lake several acres in extent. The water
is warm, but not hot, but is rank with
alkali and heavily impregnated with
sulphur. Here may be read a notice:
DRY PLACE.
Please Keep Off the Grass.
Saratoga Springs.
Soda, BoraX and Niter.
Mineral Monument
DEATH vALLEY-365 FEET BELOW
SEA LEVEL.
105 miles to Randsburg.
S5 miles to Daggett.
20 miles to Evans Ranch
80 miles to Resting Springs.
10 miles to Owl Springs
20 miles to Salt Springs.
32 miles to Coyote Springs.
ERECTED BY THE BAILEY GEO
LOGICAL PARTY.
Christmas Day, 1900.
20 miles from wood
20 miles from water.
40 feet from hell.
GOD BLESS OUR HOME.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

Merchants have agreed to give their
employees half holiday every Saturday
during July and August. This is a most
commendable decision. Half holidays in
midsummer are feature of all eastern
cities, and while they may not be so es-
sential in this delightful summer eli
mate they at least give pleasure and
recreation to an army of employees who
earn their wages and are so generally
faithful
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

1t is interesting to note that of the
S0S building permits issued in Los
Angeles during the month of May. SS7
were for one-story frame cottages, the
typical home of the Southern Cali
fornian. And stlll there are not half
enough of them to meet the ever-in-
ereasing demand.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03
The City Jokesmith.

with abject apologies).
Under the spreading chestnut tree,
The city jokesmith stands;
The smith. a puny man, is he
And seldomly he lands;
But when a. moldy joke he sells
He shouts to beat the bands!
His hair is lanky, black and long.
His collars like the tan;
His brow is wet with clammy sweat
He often gets the can
He does not look the world l. tn face,
For he owes every man!
Week in, week out. from morn till night,
Cigarette smoke he'll blow;
The while he beats with typewriter
His jokes out, very slow.
Like sections, for he knows full we'll
That few of 'em will go!
Thanks. thanks to thee o worthy drudge,
For the lesson thou hast taught,
Thus at the typewriter you work,
Misfortune you have wrought,
Full many a fearful joke you've made,
But d few have been bought!
w. H. G.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

The Hearst yellow confesses to a
drop of two-thirds in it's advertising
gain for May from its figures for
March. If it admits such a drop in it's
own lying columns, what must the
truth be?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

Gov. Pardee and the Oakland bunch
of politicians fatter themselves that
they are the largest part of California.
1t is arrogance on the part of Los
Angeles to ask for special legislation,
hut it's all right for Stockton and San
Diego. When did this governor grow
so great that he cannot be approached
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

Now that Seattle has had an earth
quake much more severe than Los An
geles had, will its jaundiced sheets
come through with an account of 1t in
poster type, such as one of them at
least used to lie about this city?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

Mr.. Henshey did cease business, but
it wasn't because he did not advertise
in the yellow Examiner. 1t was be-
cause his shop was so near that vile
organs habitat that he couldn't in
duce enough decent people to offend
their noses and imperil their health by
venturing into its neighborhood.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

Still, when few Tucson inhabitants
fall victims to the new trolleys, that
town may yet regret that it made New
York the only city on the map devoted
to mule car traffic.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03
The Lids Off. b,Gosh!

Our saloon is in full blast, and, judg-
ing from the work turned out, this is
to be a strenuous year for our usu-
ally quiet village. On Saturday two
men driving a COW sprawled through
cutters and across the streets so full
of booze that they were scarcely able
to get out of the corporation. One
arrest was made and more should have
been. Middlefield can now reap the
whirlwind; the sowing was done at our
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

1t is announced that "Chief Auble is
believed to be preparing for a general
clean up of the city" The Herald has
already demonstrated that the city
needed cleaning-up, and Chief Auble's
duty requires him to continue the work
which The Herald has begun. But he
should do It by wholesale, The field is
ripe for the police harvest. There are
too many gambling houses, especially in
Chinatown, and too many houses of
other kinds that need to be closed.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

The marriage of Los Angeles and
San Pedro is practically assured. If
any of the other nearby towns want to
come to the wedding let them speak up.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

The Oakland and Sacramento papers
are unit in speaking of this city's "ar-
rogance" in daring to ask the governor
to include in his special call matter of
vital importance TO many cities in
Southern California. The trouble with
some OF the northern cities is that they
are worried because Los Angeles is on
the California map. Some day the peo-
pie OF Southern California will take a
tumble" to themselves and elect a
Democratic governor from this section
who will at least observe that there is
such a city as Los Angeles.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

George C. Black fell and broke his
arm the other night while out on a
skate-on two of 'em, in fact. At a
rink, of course. The ideal
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

There is a prospect that the insight
ly oil derricks out West First and West
Second streets will come down. 1t can
not happen too soon.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

That Mexican war turned out as was
expected. The ratio of dead Mexicans
to Americans is eleven to two, with
more to follow.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

The Dollars that are coming to San
Pedro will make many more dollars for
themselves as we'll as for the harbor.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

DePhew refused to vote to oust
Smoot. That shows where he stands
on his own custer.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

Those big packing houses always did
smell to high heaven, so it is not sur
prising to hear of all this rottenness.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03
Population Of Los Angeles 23S,4I9

The elevator trust has been enjoined
and its stock is now going down."
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

OF course the Seattle quake didn't
do much damage. There isn't much
in Seattle to be damaged.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

The 'blowing up" that every mar
ried man gets sooner or later came
pretty early in Alfonsos case.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

One of the mysteries of the universe
is the process of reasoning whereby
woman decides to cut off eighteen
cents worth of sleeve in order to get
$3.50 worth of glove.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

are freely made that the city's biggest
summer Is before II, running many
fold beyond all previous calculations.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

The beef trust is now doing all 1t
can to live up to the front half Of its
name
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

Owl cars would put Los Angeles in
the metropolitan class to stay. Well
get them by-and-by.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03
WONDERFUL FUTURE OF DEATH VALLEY

Marvellous Mineral Rising
Of the Funeral and Telescope Mountains
the Baltimore IIeraId
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

Make the world laugh with, not at,
you. It's lots pleasanter for both the
world and yourself.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03
Pi-LimeS and Pick-UDS
DePheW

DePheW
Nothing can chop my graft, you know,
Nothing my grip can sever;
For Smoot may come and Burton go,
But hang on forever
It's the gang on the big van that
moves in good society.
The drop in the bucket is nothing
compared to the drop in a bucket shop,
for dire misfortune.
Miss Poppy-I don't know where to
begin on this bathing suit.
Miss Pepper-If you start where most
of them leave off it would help some.
Some men are so close that they live
on soup to keep from wearing away
the gold filings in their teeth.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

Mary had a little lamb. Its fleece was
shorn one day. She blamed it on the
STANDARD Oil. This always is the way.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03
election, March 31.-Chagrin Falls
(Ohio) Exponent.

Horrible suspicion is growing that
the big stick is only a stuffed club and
used simply because it looks more dig
nified than would a bladder attached
to a cane.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

Smoot and Burton are still among
the senate's unfinished business.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

tion may be found in the ceaseless ac-
tivity of President Roosevelts expla-
nation department.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

A ST. Louis street car conductor has
been sent to Jail for knocking down
and beating a passenger. He should
have confined himself to knocking
down fares.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

Big strike in Bologna, Italy, No on'
ever sausage a thing before.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03
Where the Editor Draws the Line

We don't like to publish birth after
the child is weaned, marriage after
the honeymoon is over or a death after
the widow is married again.-Drain
(Ore) Nonpareil
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

cholly-DO you ever expect 70 marry.
Willief
would except to keep dc family name Of
Smith from dying out.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

A New York physician says that
driving a coach and four is good eXer-
else for women. Washing dishes is also
invigorating-and useful. too.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

Perhaps the secret of perpetual mo-
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-03

It's the gang on the big van that
moves in good society.