Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-10-11

| iOW anu diid iiOblli
full of the prettiest teeth ever | looked
at. The fool buggist was bendin' over
the trail, and ] reckon he would have
run plumb into t'other's mouth and dis
appeared forevermore if hadn't ketched
him by the part that was handiest and
yanked him back. There's your blame
chipmunk,' says l. Amt he just lovely ?
Magnificent The Ursus horribius
in his native wild. What a pictur to
show DR.. Dodo down eastp says the
perfesser. He uncinched his camery and
commenced to sneak up closer, sayin'
soothin' like, so bear, good bear as he
perceeded Pretty quick old Eph skinned
his lip and commenced to cuss and rum
bic down in his insides, and | let out a
holler: Better take your fotygraf and
back water strong, cause there's goin'
to be strange doin's almost immediate,
mister,' I sings; and / hadn't got the
words out of my mouth before he gives
'woof and comes for us like a steam
enjne. l had been expectin' the same
all along, and the good Lord had caused
me to stop under limb that | could
| Just jump up and grab handy; so up
goes, and no sooner had got on the
grandstand than the percession passed
along
First came the perfesser, and it was
amazin to gaze upon the way that stub
| legged dude could stampede when he
once got interested. Under the limb he
went so fast that | could hear him whiz,
his legs goin' like the drive wheels of a
locomotive on slippery track. And as
| H., l., %
you little fool Now you've done it,
amt you, dang you like he was sort of
indin' fault with himself for somethin'
81 yanked out my "A army as the bear
came snortin' by and let him have a
couple in the shoulder He went heels
over appertite, but was up i'll a second
and fairly Dustin his suspenders to make
up for lost time Not havin' anything
pertickler to do, | dropped down and
trailcd along after them, thinkin' if |
could grab the bear by the tail mebby
| could hold him back a couple of min
utes, by which time ] figgered the per-
fesser would be back in Boston. But
though ! straddled along uncommon &C
! tive, seein' as how | have got SPAWN
and a couple of ringbones, ] soon seen
| was like a mud turtle a-chasin' rab
| bit Then | remembered when | was a
kid at school | heard the teacher say
that the hypothermoose of something
was the shortest distance between two
p'ints, and, bearin' that in mind, cut
across lots, figurin' on headin' them off
"Well, | made it and arrove first in a
clus finish. The little man was still goin
as fast as former, pufin' and blowin'
most tremendous. When he seen me a
look of genooine JOY perched on his fea-
lures, and he changed his course and
come a-sailin' by within two feet, disap
pearin' with a whistlin' sound. But at
the same time the grizzly side-stepped,
| too, and come straight for me, ears laid
back, mouth open, breathin' fire.
"Some fellers would have got right
down on their benders and prayed, but
only girded TIP my loins, and sayin,
deliver us from evil right earnest
| hoped over a tree trunk and skedad
died down the hill somethin' wonderful
Next mint ! hears somethin' go pop
and takes a peep over my shoulder, and
what do You suppose | seen? Nothin
but old Eph stretched out deader'n a
herrin' and the little runt of perfesser
settin' a-straddle of him and examinin
his jaws. 'Genooine siver-tip grizzly
he says, when come UP. 'Puflick speci
men Then he looks up at me and says,
Where was you goin ?
"'Nowhere much,' says I; Just tray-
elm around and admirin' the scenery
"'Must have seen lot, considerin' the
time you was travelin,' he answers, with
funny grin.
"Yes, quite a chunk. How did you
do it?' | asks, full of wonder.
"'Oh, / just got behind tree and
shot him in the eye with my weppin
as he come along. Seer He pinted at
the bears eye with his bean shooter, and
you can skin me and hang my pelt on
the cabin wall if he hadn't done it slick
and clean; somethin' no mortil man ever
done before or since with such wep-
pin and bear gon' at full jump. l
couldn't say word, couldn't even cuss
-shown' how bad / felt. | just set
down on log and weeped.
"But that wasn't the worst of it. That
night he developed his pictur and the
next day showed it to me. 1t was the
most hair-raisin' fotygraf of grizzly
a-comin' head on that was ever took by
a human bein'. That will tickle DR..
Dodo most to death, says the little bear
killer.
"'Pardner,' says /, holdin' out my
hand, Z hired out to you as guide, but
l can't earn the money. Hereafter j
will cook for you and wash your feet,
but you are the guide, bear-fghter,
bronco-buster and roarin' bully of this
outfit. When | go back to town ! am
goin' to quit guidin' and learn fancy
sewin'."
Hank stirred up the pot with a pine
stick "Pull up your rockin' cheers, fell
ers. Coffee's bilin'.'