davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03

shotbag full Of nickcls, and when we
showed up at the tent all. the fellows
wanted to know how we did it, and pa
said it was gambling, and we ought not
to do it, but he also wanted to know
how we managed to win, and when we
told about it pa said it was no sin to
beat slot machine, cause it was an
inanimate thing, just machine, and
anybody who could beat a nickel, in the
slot machine at his own game was
equal to Rockefeller.
So after everybody had got excited
about our nickels I told them how to
beat the machine. told them I didn't
get excited and 60 rushing in where
angels fear to tread, and feed the
slot machine on good hard earned
nickels of my own,but waited until the
countrymen and tenderfeet had fed it
ca nickels until it was too full for ut
terance. When the machine swelled
out like it was bowed up, and it kind
Of wheezed, like it was ready to cough
up, and was only waiting for an ex-
cuse, | put a cough lozenger about the
size Of a nickel in the slot and turned
the diaphram. The machine shud-
dered minute and then had regular
hemorrague, and coughed up Z tin cup
full Of rlckels into my hand, and the
machine seemed to rest easy. and take
=nourishment again from the silly fell
lows, who It hought 1 hey could beat It.
Well, SIT, the whole crowd was SO OK
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
I rctured Pas Tires.

tured his tire to his dying day, but he
didn't know it was me.
Gee, it looks to me as though pa has
been engaged to act as the easy mark
in this show. Say, they got pa to
practice on roaring like lion, so he
could stand behind the cage when the
lion has a sore throat and roar, and
scare folks, and pa has been going
around behind the cages, every eve-
ming, when the menagerie is closed,
and the crowd in the main tent, max
ing noises that have made the animals
look at each other Us much as to say
"Well, what do you think of that?"
The rhinoceros was SO Disguised at
Paducah that he reached out his nose
and took pa on his horn and held him
up to the scorn of the other animals
until pas pants gave way and he was
a sight, and he was so scared that he
got out of the tent and made run for
our train, chased by the police, who
thought he was burglar that had
been eat by house dog.
The worst thing we have had on pa
was at Louisville, where we stayed
over Sunday. Another fellow and
got a system on slot machines and one
day we beat the machines out of a
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
BEGINNING TO DOUBT.
Former Legislator Who Feels That
He Sold His Vote Too
Cheap.

ut beats all about this political cor.
ruption," said the old farmer as he
laid aside his country paper. Every
week there is something about expos
ing some big man who was thought
to be perfectly honest, and it's getting
so you don't know whom to trust
"Were you ever in politics your
self" was asked.
"Once, and that's what's bothering
me now. Yes. I was elected to the
legislature once. While was sscv.
ing as a member fellow-membsr
came to me and said that my aunt in
Iowa had died and left me $4,000, and
he paid the money over to me. I had
never heard about the aunt, and I
don't know how he got the money for
me, and I am just beginning to doubt.
ITO doubt what?''
"Wall, I voted for land grab and
we carried it by only four majority,
and I'm just beginning to doubt if l
got enough for my vote. I think If l
had held out few days I'd have had
an uncle die, too, and got as much as
$4,000 out of the thing Baltimore
American:
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
Chased by Police.

rod lemonade which the butcher
smashed him with, and the colonel
cried because the lemonade was all
water, and he was afraid it would
soak into him and cause him to warp.
When the lemonade butcher apollo
gized, and the usher told him it was all
q mistake his being seated with the
niggers, the colonel wept on their
necks and invited the whole crowd to
60 to his distillery and help them
selves.
When we got to the next town every
man in the show had a Crouch and a
Katzenjammer, and their hair was so
sore it was murder and suicide COM
bined to comb it.: -
The way pa escaped injury was
cause he had to take the place .: the
fat woman on the platform with the
freaks, as the fat woman, was over
come with the heat and had to stay in
the car. -
The way they fixed pa up to resem-
BILE the fat woman was scandalous
They have some rubber things in the
wardrobe tent that you can blow up
and make a. big arm, and big leg,
and big stummick, SO anybody
couldn't tell the difference, and they
fixed pa up with bowed up clothes Of
flesh colored rubber, and but for his
shin whiskers you couldn't tell him
from the fat woman. He said he
1Wouldn' t cut OF his WI iskers for any
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03

your ghostly adviser and your political
stage manager at one fell swoop. But
1t isn't wonderful that you haven't
missed Mr.. Ormsby. Having elected
Miss Brentwood your conscience-keep-
er-inchief, you have no further use for
the P. s. NJ"
"And you have no further use for
me, apparently" he complained. did
you send for me so that you might
abuse me in the second edition."
mo; I wanted to give you bit of
news, and to repeat an old question of
mine. Do you know what they are
going to do next with your railroad?"
eyes; Hildreth told me this after
noon."
Well, what are you going to do?"
Nothing. There is nothing to be
done. They have held to the form
of legal procedure thus far, but they
won't do it any more. They will take
MacFarlane off in a corner somewhere,
have him make Guilford permanent
receiver, and the lease to the Over
land will be consummated on the spot.
sha'n't be in it,
Probably not; certainly not if you
don't try to get in it. And that brings
me back to the old question. Are you
big enough, David?"
IF you think haven't been big
enough to live up to my opportunities
thus far, I'm afraid I may disappoint
you again." he said doubtfully.
':You have disappointed me-" she
admitted. "That is why 1 am asking:
I'd like to be reasonably sure your
Jonathan Edwardsy notions are not go
ing to trip us again."
'Portia, if thought you really
meant that. "A constituencies man
is bad enough, God knows; but con-
scienceless woman
Her laugh was decorous little
Shrek
"David you are not big; you are
narrow, narrow, narrow! Is there no
other code of morals in the round
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
Some Of Missouri's Boasts

Missouri has % state institutions; It
never had general crop failure; it is
the leading clover state of the union;
it has more stock farms than any other
state; it has the largest acreage of blue
grass of any state; it has the largest
permanent school fund in the United
States; it raises one-tenth of all the
corn raised in the world; it produces 80
per cent. of the zinc mined in the world:
it has one-third more apple trees than
any other state; it's farm land has ad-
vanced 40 per cent in the last four
years; it has the largest yield of cotton
per acre of any state in the union; it has
the lowest rate Of taxation of any state.
Kansas City Journal.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03

body's circus, 80 they fixed a veil to
cover part of his face and put the fat
woman's dress on ga, and put him up
beside the skeleton, the midget and
the giant. :>.. +:
Pa said he didn't want to. do it,
cause it seemed too much like fraud,
but they told him the fate of the show
depended on our all being willing to
take any part assigned to us, and so
pa sat down and began to fan himself,
and tried to look hirty like woman.
The other freaks never noticed but
what it was the" fat woman until the
show. was half over. It was too much
for me- and I: just l.ffed at pa. I got
up behind him and told him in a whis-
per that I wanted a dollar to play the
slot machine, and he told me to go to
thunder. and get out Of there.
couldn't stand it to be insulted by my
own father, SO TOOK hat pin out Of
the hat Of the bearded lady and
punched it into pas bowed up rubber
shirt, and pa began to sis, like a soda
fountain, and the wind struck the liv-
ing skeleton and blew him over like a
cyclone, and by that time pa was
blowing off wind in a dozen places that
had punctured, and he was scared for
fear there wouldn't he anything left of
him, and the giant saw the fat woman
slowly fading away, and the coward
had heart failure and lay down on the
platform. Somebody shouted that the
fat woman was all melting away, and
a fellow whowas watering a camel out
of a bucket came 10 the rescue and
threw the bucket Of dirty water all
over pa, and then thought better go
away in tother tent and see the fight,
but pa was taken to the dressing room
and rescued from the shrinking rub
Der balloons that were busted, and he
said he would hunt the man that pune
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
Brevity the Soul of Wit.

While anecdotes are common of the
brevity Of great men in the most i'm
portant decisions. the record in such
matters is probably to be found in the
story told upon Won Moltke. The great
general never opened his mouth If q
gesture would answer the purpose.
His comment at the time the Franco
Prussian war was announced is a mat
ter of history The news. was brought
to him that the French had declared
war. He was at the war office at the
time and his entire stah was boiling
over with excitement. An aide-de.
camp rushed in to Won Moltke's pri.
vate Office with the document an.
nouncing the beginning Of the grea:
conflict. Won Moltke, without looking
up from HIS letters, said: |#s==
Second pigeon hole 81 the right.
first tier z
And went g With lii readi1 i i.
1Y. Herald
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
Largest Ocean Steamer.

Consul General Guenther, of Frank
fort, says the worlds largest steam
ship is the Kaiserin Augusta Victoria,
6S4 feet long, $4,000 tons, which was
launched August "a, at the Vulcan
yards, Stettin. He writes that the
new boat will have a net tonnage of
$1,000. The engines indicate 1920
horsepower; the speed will be II knots
an hour, so that the trip from Europe
to New York will be made In seven
and one-half days. In addition to the
regular dining-room, the ship will be
supplied with a restaurant la carte
and with electric elevators and an
electrically lighted bathroom.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03

world save that which the accident of
birth has interleaved with your New
England Bible? What is conscience?
Is it an absolute standard of right and
wrong? Or is it merely your ideal or
| mine, or Shafiz Ullah Khan's?"
"You may call it all the hard names
you can lay tongue to-" he allowed.
I'm not getting much comfort out Of
it, and rather enjoy hearing it abused.
But you are thrusting at shadow in
the present instance. Do you know
what did this afternoon"
*How should know"
II don't know why you shouldn't:
you know everything that happens.
But I'll tell you. I had been fighting
the thing over from start to finish
and back again ever since you blessed
me out q week ago last Monday, and
at The wind-up this afternoon I took
the papers out of the bank vault, hav-
ing 1t in mind to 60 and give his ex-
cellency bad quarter Of an hour"
"But you didn't do it,"
mo, he saved me the trouble. While
was getting ready to go and hunt
him, his card came up. We had it out
in my rooms"
"I'm listening" she said; and he re-
hearsed the facts for her, concealing
nothing.
what curious thing human ma
ture isl" she commented, when he had
made an end. my better Judgment
says you were all kinds of somebody
for not clinching the nail when you had
it so we'll driven home. And yet T
can't help admiring your exalted ia
natlclsm. do love consistency, and
the courage Of it. But tell me, if you
can, how far these fair-fghting scru-
pies OF yours go. You have made it
perfectly plain that if a thief would
steal your pocketbool, you would suf-
fer loss before you'd compromise with
MIN to get it back. But suppose you
should catch him at it: would you feel
compelled to call policeman-or
would you-''
He anticipated her.
You are doing me an injustice on
the other side, now. I'll fight as furi-
ously as you like. All I ask is to be
given a weapon that won't bloody my
hands,"
Good" she said approvingly. 81
think / have found the weapon, but
it's desperate, desperate! And q
David! you've got to have a cool head
and steady hand when you use it.
IT you haven't, it will kill everybody
within the swing of it-everybody but
the man you are trying to reach"
Draw it and let me feel it's edge,"
he said shortly.
| Her chair was close beside the low
swung hammock. She bent to his cal
and whispered single sentence. Fol
a minute or two he sat motionless
weighing and balancing the chance Of
success against the swiftly multiplying
difficulties and hazards.
"You call it desperate" he said al
length, If there is bigger word ir
the language, you ought to find and
use it. The risk is that of a forlorn
hope: not so much for me, perhaps
as for the innocent-or at leas
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I'll have to en-.
list"
She nodded.
'"rhat is true. But how much /.
your railroad worth?' ..@.|
1T is bonded for fifty millions first
and twenty millions second mortgage.
| '"Well, seventy millions are worth
fighting for: worth q very considers
BILE risk. / should say" s..=j$ II a.
Eyes" And after another thought
! ful interval: How did you come {.
think Of it b. 5s..zs.=.
1T grew out Of Is hit Of talk Will
! the man who will have put The anaa
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
CLUB NOTES.

Cannon Falls.-Dr David H. Reeder,
Laporte, Ind.-Dear Doctor: I have
read part of your lectures in the pa
per and think much good advice is
given, therefore take the liberty to
write to you about myself. I am
troubled with headache and cold in
nose at times, and also have a dread
full pain in my head right over the
ayes. then It breaks loose and have
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
The Sleep Cure.

One Of the newest fads Of the medi
cal world is the sleep cure. Accord
ing to the physician who has sought
to Introduce his ideas among the
Paris1ans one sleeps entirely too little.
It is his argument that one lives a
certain length Of time, and that this
time sickness not ccnsidered) is ex-
tended over long or short period, ac-
cording to the temperament of the per-
son. He cites in support of his theory
the longevity of the negroes, and de-
clares that they attain a ripe old age
simply because they sleep whec work
is not absolutely essential.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
Kitchener's Aunts.

Lord Kitchener's love affair of his
youth has been discussed in English
papers of late. Now he lavishes his
affection on two old aunts, sisters OF
his mother. His happiest'days in Eng
land are passed Is their company. 1t
was to their care that he confided all
the presentations made to him after
his successes in Africa, also a splen-
did lot of curios he. has collected in
various parts of the world.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
Gave Her a. Shock.

Uncle Charles-I don't know as you
will thank me for interfering. Ellen,
but they tell me this Mr.. Cashmere you
are going to marry is utterly WORTH
less.
Ellen-Why, Uncle Charles?
mot in pecuniary sense, you
from an intellectual point of view."
ooh, Uncle Charles. you don't know
what turn you gave me"-Chicago
Journal
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
Java's Sacred Mountain.

In the journal OF the Indian Archie
pelago" is narrative of Jonathan
Riggs ascent Of Cunning Danka, in
Java. The top Of that mountain is
supposed to be the site of paradise. and
the :Javanese believe that if the local
rajah permits any stranger to climb it
tiger will devour him.: A day or
two after Mr.. Riggs feat q tiger killol.
two Of the raiah's children. # J sss
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
RS g.
Home Health
| Club
By DAVID Il. FEEDER. Ph. D., ND.
La Porte, Ind.
PNEUMONIA,

| have told you before how to treat
pneumonia, the best and safest method
of home treatment that could be de-
| vised. In fact, whether it be at home
! In a hospital or sanatorium, the plan
| OF treatment of pneumonia in it's va
| rlous stages by the use of hot and cold
applications is so superior to the COM
mon drug treatment, that the percent
age Of cases cured will be greatly in
favor Of the drugless method.
Right here let me say word about
the lungs in fat and lean people, as it
Is pertinent to this subject Only a
small portion Of the oils and fats par
taken of are used otherwise than for
keeping us warm, and they must be
burned in order to keep the proper
temperature of the body. There is a
chemical fire burning within our bodies
all the time and that fire must be sup
Piled with oxygen or it will not burn
The lungs are used for the purpose of
supplying the oxygen, and in order to
dispose of surplus fats without setting
up fever In the body there must be
good lung capacity. Very fat people
do not, as rule, have very strong
lungs, nor of great capacity. They do
not breathe deeply enough, and when
a cold is taken and the weakened and
already over-worked lungs are begin
ming to fill up with blood the distress
is so apparent that it seems as if the
person would suffocate very quickly.
and in fact many of them do. I
There is an immense amount of fat
or oil in the body of such a person,
and it seems to be on fire, and yet it
is not being burned in the right way.
The lungs have not been trained and
developed, but are lazy and weak.
Enough oxygen cannot now get into
them to supply the body and the pa
tient dies. A thin, slender person does
not have the same disadvantages to
contend with, his lungs are as strong
and large, and perhaps have more ac-
ton, than those of the fleshy person.
and there is not SO much fuel stored in
the body. Therefore, the cold which
developed into pneumonia in the case
of the fleshy person may develop into
something entirely different in the thin
person.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
The Fatal Question

DO you think the baby looks like
me?" said the fond mother.
4 oh. no, replied the old friend
thong tlessly as. he leaned over tho
cab, II cant say as l do! What q.
bright little face he has, hasn't her:
Detroit Free Press. .$....,.=.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03
2 > :
rs :: : :
PECK'S BAD
B OY WITH
THE CIRCUS
BY HON. GEORGE W. PECK
Author Of ''Peck's Bad Boy Abroad" ETC.
"a :-:.:,..:. 81
BY HON. GEORGE W. PECK
Copyright by J. B. Bo wles.]

Pa Takes the Place Of the Fat Woman
: with Disastrous Results-A Ken
lucky Colonel Causes a Row-Pa
Tries to Roar Like a Lion and the
Rhinoceros 0bjects-Pa Plays the
Slot-Machine and Gets the Worst
Of It.
This has been an eventful week with
the show. We have had heat prostra-
tons in Kentucky, nearly the whole
show got drunk on i6-year-old whisky,
and if it hadn't been for the animals
keeping sober this show would have
been pulled for disorderly conduct.
Nobody knows how the row started
but pa says every man in Kentucky
carries a blue gun and bottle of red
Ticker, and they wear white hats. so
the red, white and blue business is all
right, only it is a combination that is
death on a circus. I think one of the
ushers, at the afternoon performance,
told an old colonel that he must move
along quicker when the colonel began
to talk back, and Say, ''Who is you
talkin' too, sah?" And the usher stood
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-01-03

All readers of this publication are
at liberty to inquire for any informa-
ton pertaining to the subject OF
health, at any time. Address all COM
munications to the Home Health
club, or Dr. David H. Reeder, Laporte,
Ind, giving name and address in full,
and at least four cents in postage.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1906-12-27
THURSDAY, DECEMBER q, 1905
THE INHERITANCE TAX.

It is learned through the census
once that about half the states In the
Union have inheritance tax laws, which
yield between 10 and IL million doll
lars annually At least q dozen states
are materially assisting in the support
Of the state government from this
source 81 revenue. The proposed ma
tional tax differs from the state taxes
iii intention. but It would not differ
from them In execution or in effect.
It v proposed, not to provide rev.
4nue for the government. forethe gov
eminent does not need this source OF
revenue, but as measure Of precau-
tion ana protsction. Fottunes have
grown TO such 4 size as 70 threaten
manifold perils unless they are check
"a, and the inheritance take is design
ed to keep them with reasonable linn
its ~ connscating the excess beyond
what the people shall Judge safe for a
citisen 10 oossess.
such law seems radical and II
/; win have to be agitated for several
years before the necessity and wisdom
IN the law Is made manifest, but IN
\ the belief Of many leaders Of public
thought II Is certain to come.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1906-12-27
LEoAL NorlcEs.
Notice for PubiIeasson,

r.. .
Department Of the Interior, Land OF
ice at Lewiston. idaho. December 4.
1906.
Notice Is hereby given that George
F. Thompson. Of spalding, Idaho. has
fled notice Of his intention to make
final five-year proof in support Of his
claim, viz: Homestead Entry No.
1882, made March Is. 1901. for the
Lots l. 2, s and 8. Sec. IS. Up. So n.
r. w. B. NJ. and Lots 3, ., 10 and
IL, Sec. Is, TIP. So N, r W. b. NJ
and that said proof will be made be-
fore Register and Receiver. & Lewis
ton, Idaho. on January p. 1907.
He names the following Witnesses "a
prove his continuous residence upon,
and cultivation Of. the land, viz;
David M. Wilson, Of spalding. Ida
no; william J. Groseclose. pf Spald-
ing, Idaho: William T. Harrington. Of
Winchester, Idaho; Albert J. Showal.
/ ter, Of Lewiston, Idaho.
/ T. H. BARTL -rr Register.
Don't miss the eijou tonight.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1906-12-27

= The ends Of justice are little more
nearly met In the. public estimation
at least by the order committing Sid
ney Sloane to the penetentiary on the
ground that with his liberty he was
manifestiy dangerous 70 the peace and
safety Of the community. The public
viii find some satisfaction also in the
fact that the plea of his counsel to
have him free from the prison garb
and not treated as other criminals was
turned aside by the Judge as matter
over which he had no control, but one
wholly within the authority of the
prison officials. When one reads OF
the vanity and effectation of the de-
PENDANT and his love for ostentation Il
seems part of just dealing to bring
home to him in some manner the fact
that his actions are being Condemned
1t is a matter of congratulation for the
citizens OF Spokane that they have
treated him with the silent contempt
they have evidenced since the tria
began. There has been far less Of
the vapid hero worship than is usual,
manifested in such cases.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1906-12-27
THINK IT over.


The Christmas tree is generally fill
s6 with olive branches.
In the race of life mans good
Judgment is too often left at the post.
Lewiston streets have good found
alton but the superstructure is lit
tie vacillating.
The promotion committee will have
10 see TO It in the future that would
be Investors are blindfolded at the city
limits.
John d. Rockefeller rejoiees that
after thirty years he is able to eat
nfnce pie and enjoy it, man with
q conscience like his ought to have a