Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-10-13
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What is practical joker" "One
that you can sell for dollar and buy
bread with it"-Judge.
Mrs. Skinnum Why are you all hid
Ing from Tommy? Little Lizzie-Tom-
my is the butcher come with his BILL
Philadelphia Record.
THAT young widow says she is go
ing to break her husbands Will" "I
thought she did that soon after they
We're married. Baltimore American.
In New York.-"Can't you think OF
some unusual thing TO do tonight
something we haven't done before?"
I'VE might spend the evening Mt home"
Life.
THAT man never uses money in his
campaigns" No" answered Senator
Sorghum, "he merely makes promises.
He uses credit instead Of cash.
Washington Star.
The Parsou-When became a min-
lister, | gave up playing the piano. The
Elder-Then you became an expounder
in double sense of the word, didn't
You?-Yonkers Statesman.
ChoIly-I thought perhaps you had
preference for Bobby Jones? Mildred
Nonsense! You are just as welcome
here rs he is. Why, he Is the most In
Hufferable bore | know-Judge.
why don't you get an automobiles"
MY dear sir" was the answer. II
don't need it. | have dog, three life
Insurance policies and boil. have
trouble enough. Washington Star
Cicely--Why don't you learn to-
swim? Murlel-There Is no one to-
teach me Clcely--llow about the boysE
Murel-Oh they've all taught me be
fore; different summers you know
brooklyn Life.
Gladys Cat the seashore) Are you
having as many proposals as you had
last season? Wayne (wearily oh.
yes but they are all from the same
men ! was engaged to last summer
Detroit Free Press.
But" protested the pert young
housewife, you ought to take off some
thing for the holes In these doughnuts.
VERY well. madam replies the wise
baker. I'm allow you one cent each
for the holes when you return them
Chicago Daily News.
What" asked the sweet girl grad
uate, was the happiest moment OF
your lifef" The happest moment of
my life" answered the old bachelor.
twas when the jeweler took back the
engagement ring aud gave me collar
buttons in exchange. Chicago News.
Mrs. Windfall--Just imagine, Hiram!
One OF the sailors told me that this
boat is now In communication with her
sister ship! I wonder what the con
versation is about? Mr.. Windfail--
IIumphl Most likely each is asking
I the other II her cargo Is on straight
Puck
Il presume, SIR began the young
man, timidly, that you Will consider II
very presumptuous for ifty-doilar
railroad clerk to apply for your daugh-
ter's hand In marriage" Not at all.
my boy" responded Senator Slickguy.
kindly. II dare say your side crafts
are quite remunerative"
Don't you object to your husbands
poker playing?" Goodness, no! like
It. You see he always plays with Mr..
friends. If Mr.. Jones wins she takes
the money away from him and divides
with me. If my husband wins l divide
with her.-Clevoland Leader.
The two young men reached the door
ut the same time. is Miss Swelling
ton inY they asked The maid, Norahr
looked at them and shook her head dis
congolateIy. She's In to wan nv yc
an out to tn other" she said at last:
"but tn two nv We coming together has
got me 50 tangled Oi'm blest IL o.
know which Is which. But come roight
In both av ye an Oill ax her to come
down an pick 80 out Judge.
What's In "a Name?-An Irish sol
der in local regiment during the late
war arrived at camp late one night. He
was challenged with the usual, Who
goes thereT After ponderlng few mo
ments, and the challenge being repeat
pd and thinking hc might avoid pun
lshment he answered Kitchener" lilo.
WAS Immediately knocked down with
the butt end of a rife. While he was