The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-09-23
ABOUT THE
WONDERFUL MULE
He is Composed of Gall, Whalebone
and Rawhide and He
Never Dies

Solomon said" remarked the weary
pilgrim. that there was three things
he didn't know-yes, four, that was too
hard for him. An none of them four
was about mules. which goes to prove
that Solomon was wise OF king, jest
as II says.
When I fust went west had never
associated with mule. You know the
way they shave a mules tail and leave
p double-barreled taSsel on the end?
thought that was some religious rite.
hut a Teller tole me IL was left tibet
way because il was handy to tie knot
in a mules tail. then eff he should walk
through the collar he'd fetch up on
the knot
"A mules chief charm is his inno-
Cence. rawhide, sweet simplicity and
cussedness. You know, OF course, that
a mule never dies The original pair
is i'm Milwaukee haulin' bottled beer
wagon.
"A mules chief charm is his inno-
cence He looks like a dern fool. but
you bet he knows more in a minute
than n boss knows In a week. A boss
don't know nothin': don't know his
master from a hitchin' post an eff he
runs away he's jest as apt 10 fetch up
I'm barbed-wire fence an saw his leg
as not But mule will run away all
day an never upset the wagon nor
harm a fly. Yes. sir, if mule WASH I
powerful wise he'd make a mistake
an git right once in n while. But he
never makes no SIGH blunder.
IT see a soldier once tryin' TO hitch
two mules 10 a wagon. He had a mule
I'm each hand an every time he hauled
in slack an come about them sweet
critters was a facin the wagon. The
soldier was gittin' blue in the face an
frothin' at the mouth. but the mules
didn't care. They was haVin' too much
fun. Pretty soon the soldier tied them
together got fence stake an broke
II over the nigh mules ribs. Then they
both skipped into place as clipper as
Of they he'd been insistin on that all
along.
An. too. a mule is, musical Did
Won ever hear him sing? / think my
self it's mighty sweet. He jest shets
his eyes, kinks his head 20 one side.
calls up dreamy reminiscent smile an
SAYS 'Baw-aw-aw- aw-aw-aw. Then
his breath comes back with a hiccough
an he says, 'Wa-a-a-hic-wah- hick-
walk Then he waits Jest long enough,
breathes little sigh an says Wa.
Then he's through till he feels 1t COM
in again.
az was in Georgy i'm 1898. with the
battle-scared veterans from Illinois
loadin' fer Cuby. They he'd got their
commIssary mules all in cars 'ceDt a
lOng-legRed oil gray, ana ne nt u an
nounced his undyin' aversion TO cars,
an he'd refused duty in time OF war.
Them Chicago boys mauled an Dryed
an cussed an hurrahed fer about a
hour. when a captain comes along.
'Wot the infiammable. tropical humid
ity is the matter here? says he Mule
won't go? Shucksr says he.
He began TO shed his clo'es as II a
mouse was down his back. Get out Of
my way he yelled, an he frothed
round an grabbed a pole by the mid
die an hit himself on the shin with it.
Well. sir. never did hear military
gentleman break more of the army
rules regarding language. not TO men
ton the ten commandments. He spent
half an hour breakin' the pole 60 the
proper length. Then he comes chargin'
tc the fray.
You measly. lop-yeared. swalbacked.
cat-hammed slab-sided skate, says he.
I'M show you, says he. An jest as he
got within good reach the mule walks
no the plank an into the car, an the
cap never got lick at him.
ANY one tibet thinks mule don't
know nothin' hes lots TO learn hisself.