The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-03-25
B'GOSH POLICEMAN SEES TENDERLOIN Gus the Gouge" Takes SiIas Hopper a-Sightseeing BEATS HIS OWN TUCKAHOE sI Gets So Excited and DeVlllsh He Wants to Find a Spruce-Beer
 Saloon-Adventures
 of Jay.
BEATS HIS OWN TUCKAHOE
From the New York World.

From the New York World.
 All the Tenderloin opened It's eyes yes terday when Gus the Gouge.' the finest exponent of rough and tumble in the dis trict. scraped acquaintance with Silas Hopper one of Binghams new agricul- tural policemen, and took him on a sight seeing tour around the precinct.
 Sure" said "the Gouge," grabbing Si- las by one of his bright new buttons; sure. 'Ill put you wise. I'm on the level see? And l want to get in right with you fellers. Somebody may want to get next to my leather some time. and I'll need you right bad
 "Gosh all freworksl7 exclaimed Si; you don't mean to say that they try to rob folks with all these constables around? Why, there are two of them over there on the corner now. There ought to be a lot of horse thieves here. Everybody seems to leave their hosses unhitched kinder careless like. There was a hoss thief up in Tuekahoe, once, but we socked him in the calaboose."
 In Fourteenth Street.
 Bet yer life" replied "the Gouge;" they'll steal the coat off your frame if you don't watch out. This Is Fourteenth street and this is Tom sharlkeys place. That house across the street is Tony Pas toafs Ever hear of himT' ~ Don't remember exactly. Ebenezer Dobbins had cousin named Pastor up fin Tuckahoe, but he was shiftless crit ter and didn't amount to- much
 Gee all tatersl l never saw durned many people in my life We must "a passed more'n ninety families in that last square. They're thicker'n turnips in the old patch tu hum. l tried to speak to scme of them, but they looked so gum dasted sour that sugar plum would turn to vinegar in their mouths
 Dis is de main works said "the Gouge," as they started up Broadway. Are yer on? It's Broadway, the main cheese of the renderloin.'
 "Broadway, hey? I'll be jimwhizzled ef it's any broader than the old Spofford lane but there are more houses than l ever see before. What do they call IL the Tenderloin for?'
 Because it's so tough. I guess,' re- plied the Gouge Anyway l never struck a tender one, and I've paid as high as 70 cents per. There's the Hoffman House"
 The Hoffman Tavern.
 "A tavern. hey? Well, I've had nothn' fit to eat since I got here. l jist long for 4 couple of yards of fried tripe. Wonder if they've got any? Whats this here crack in the street? I'll SNOW it can't be a weather crack. Street cars, hey? Well, I never!'
 tYes, and you want to look out for them, too. Sometimes they don't ring their bells
 Don't ring their bells? Why, they most bust my ears all the time. When 1 first went to the calaboose round on Thirtieth street I was standing with lot of young New York constables with faces like blue cabbages, when 'bangh ker- slopus ker-wopus went a gong right along side of me. Gosh all hemlock! l almost jumped over the railin astradde of the chief constable. l s'pose I'd a been discharged if l had
 Here "the Gouge" pointed out the beau- ties of the Flatiron building as they passed back into Twenty-third street.
 Well. by gum; l never. It's taller than the new belfry on the Methodist church in Tuckahoe. l never saw so many windows in my life. I'd hate to fall offen the roof"
 S Shows He's Spunky.
 Passing up Sixth avenue, "the Gouge' pointed out several tough characters, at the same time warning Si never under any circumstances. to arrest them.
 I'm not afeared," replied S; ''jist lot lem try to fiapdoodle me- n I'll show em. I'll sail in ashplashin' like q hog in d swamp Jist let 'em show me split in the log n I'll wedge in. When l came down here from Tuckahoe a stranger at the depot grabbed me n says, Is this yer baggage?
 "I jist give a flap and a crow, and fas- tened to his ear and chawed away until they took me offen him. You bet I'm the fourth corporal of the Squirltal Blues, n I can climb a rainbow n sneeze it into ribbons. Gosh durn 1t, I'm gettin' ex- cited and devlish. Where can we get some spruce beer? What is that tink-a- tum, tink-a-tum that l hear?"
 That? Oh, that's the Haymarket over there"
 Don't see no hay"
 NO, they never make hay while the sun shines There's where they have barn dances some times.'
 Gosh all firelock. I'd like to go to one. I'd knock a hole in the floor, I guess. Me and Dabney Corkins were the best danc- CTS in Tuckahoe.'
 Around into the Bohemia went Si and 'the touge
 It's jist like a meetin house" whis- pered Si; 'be these here pews where the wimmin Is sittln'?"
 "Oh. no; this Is only place where we can listen to the music and hit up the booze if we want to. Come over and sit down They won't care"
 "Without an introduction? You must think I'm a gum-dasted idiot. l tried that once at a camp meeting, and the gals old man began to rare and snort and tear un grornd enough to cover a hill of taters. Then he up and kicked me right in the forepart of the back and laid me gut No. sir. I've got to have an introduction first"
 When Sl and the Gouge" emerged from the Bohemia the lights were lit and Broadway was glittering from end to end like a diamond necklace.
 Well, I've got to go." said Si; its my time to go on guard. must go around to the calaboose. Where's Thir- tieth street at?"