Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1906-08-08
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49, f1n

In the course of life we shake many
hands-and many people.-Llfe.
"It's queer" "what?" THE man
who pays as he goes is most welcome
to stay."-American Spectator.
'Why is this cheese so full of holesT
That's all right. 1t needs all the fresh
air it can get."-Cleveland Leader.
Wears Wlfe-Now can any Of You
children tell me of another ark2 Bright
Child-'Ark the 'Erald Angels Sing !"-
Punch.
HAS he said anything significant yet
of his intentions?" mo, ma. he's the
most insignificant man ever knew
Houston Post.
PARTNERSHIPS married an optlclan.
Patrice-Well. she always said she
liked man who could look into her
eyes.-St. Louis st-Dispatch.
Blobbs-Is the population of London
more dense than that of New York;
Slobbs-Sure. Did you ever try to tell
an Engllshman a ke?-Phlladelphia
Record.
Does your Congressman do much
work?' said Farmer Corntassel. 1--WE
jest hire him to take the blame when
things don't go to suit us."-Washing.
ton Star.
You say that your friend was utter
me- Tod h,, 81 v,,to
taken IDENTIFY" Yes. He mistook
toadstool for mushroom" Washing.
ton Star.
"The people in the next fiat seem to
be fond of the latest songs" YES.
They don't appear to care for any that
ure sung earlier than 10 p. m."-Wash.
ington. Star.
How do 1t happen dat all the an.
gels we see in plctur' books is hyin'f"
"Lawd, man! Once they finds out dey
got wings. nuthIn' can hold 'em p'-At.
lanta Constitution.
Stella-Professor Lee says candy Is
IL cure for fatigue. Bella-That's true;
a man who brings me chocolates never
makes me as tired as man who
doesn't.-Harper's Bazaar.
Hello! want to see Mr.. Smith at
the telephone" 'AIr. Smith says II
you want to see him at the telephone
you will have to come to his Office; he
hasn't time to 50 to yours."-Washing-
ton Star.
Mrs. Hiram Ofren-Why, Bridget, at
this rate my dishes won't last any time.
Brldget-Don't We worry. ma'am;
they'll last as long as will. fur I'll
be l'aving We the morrow.-Philadel
phia Press.
"Ah," sighed the lovelorn youth, may
not hope that you will be mine for
ever and forever?" why, yes" re-
Piled the cruel girl, with yawn, you
may hope that long If you wish. Phil
adelphla Press.
Club Chatter.-The Old Soldier-Yes.
sir, and can tell you that I've had six
horses killed under me in war. The
Motorist-Pooh! that's nothing I've
had dozen pedestrians killed under
me-Pick -Me-Up.
Nell-Well, their engagement Is Off
Belle-The idea! 1t was only an
nounced yesterday. What did they
quarrel about? Nell-As to which was
the most unworthy Of the other.-Phil-
adelphia Ledger.
Jinks-Hello. Bllnks! Hear you had
a great time getting married-eloped
with the girl-father and mother furi.
ous-gave chase, but they didn't catch
you, did they? Blinks (sadly) Mo-
New York Weekly.
She wrote: circumstances over
which l have no control compel me to
reject your offer of marriage. Yours.
ETC." He wired what circumstances7
Reply prepaid" She wired: yours.
ollect."-Cleveland Leader.
The Missus-Bridget, how many
times have 1 told you never to pour
coffee grounds into the sink? The Maid
Sure, mum, an Ohm that lonesome
that an Afternoon call firm a plumber
wudn't 90 bad.-Cleveland Plain Deal.
er.
Para" said the teacher Of the kin
dergarten class, sis where the rubber
comes from. What Do you know about
Para rubber?" A little hand went up.
You may answer, Georgiana." 81 got
Para rubber shoes" -Chicago Trib.
une.
Have you decided where you will
spend the summer" No." answered
Mr.. Kepdown; I'm going to let my
wife decide this year. She used to
wake me up in the dead Of the night
last summer to remind me that picked
the place out."-Detroit Tribune.
Small Edgar had accompanied his
mother to church and on the way homs
he said: Mamma, why do they call the
minister 'Neverend'?" HE Is called
reverend my dear; not 'neverend,'"
explained the mother. WELL" replied
Edgar, II thought he would never end
Chicago News.
The Good Beginning. the
condition of the world now, the begin
ming was good, and this good was to be
mans permanent possession. The first
scene Is all happiness, all beauty; to
remember 1T now is like dream
Rev. D. ]. Stafford, Roman Catholic,
Washington. d. @.
e.-Scholarshlp is not the chief
thing; culture is more than scholar
ship. Colleges should give culture.
They do not always do SO. Some great
scholars are great Doors and not few
are the children Of culture who never
saw college. Mary was ignorant of
books, yet disciplined by sorrow, hers
is the most perfect character in history.
Rev. N. NJ. Waters, Congregational
list, Brooklyn.
PINT Her en-. Hale