Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-09-22

was impossible for her not to know that
her lover had moved closer. She had no
moral code of defense. There was nothing
of that kind that prevented her letting the
man who loved her and who was, after all,
the only man she had ever loved, become in
deed what both he and she knew that he
in all else but that. Nothing but her
blind determination that this should not be
so stood in the way. Thurso had tainted
her again and again with lie, he could
not have tainted her more If 1t had been
truth. Indeed, to taunt her, as Thurso had
done. with what was not true, was more
unbearable to her than If it had been. Had
Villars been her lover, she almost felt as II
she would have hurled the truth of 1t her
self In Thursos face. For her actions never
ran away with her; she was not in the hab-
it of doing what she was ashamed of after
ward, and certainly, so she felt, If she had
taken step, SO momentous, so vitality con-
cerned with her life, as having lover, she
was sure that she would not have done so
bndly in any heat of passion. Had she
meant to live that double life, she would
have done so deliberately, and for reasons
which would have seemed to her excellent
firstly, that her husband was opium
drenched; secondly, that she loved Vlllars,
and thirdly that she would not have be-
leved 1t was wicked. Had Villars been her
not see any moral reason why he should not
be. And, though in judging others, as has
been said, she had no moral code, yet she
judged herself it seemed, by stricter laws,
though all-unformulated, than she applied
to her friends. She wanted everybody to
have good time; but she would not take
the species of good time that others
might choose and make 1t her own.
1t seemed to her that she had only been
subjected to the anticipation of the rack;
the rack itself was yet to come. For Ru-
dof Villars was Though he was the rack
also) her one standby in this awful pas
sage through which the inscrutable Master
of Souls was leading her. Maud was splen-
did, she could not have done without Maud
pr hlrt Lar
was a woman and Villars was man.
Therefore. he could help her in way that
Maud could not For humankind is created
male and female, and those of different
sex can and must help each other in a man.
ner impossible to those of the same sex.
That is the glory of the world, and its
shame.
So day by day she owed more to Villars,
and her debt was mounting into huge
figures. And though she knew we'll that
to him 1t was Notwithstanding never. any
how, added it up-and 1t was fearfully ex-
istent to her. In payment of 1t she could
only give him one thing. herself, and that
she would not. But in the intimacy which
had shot up again, a mature growth this
time from the root of their boy-and-girl
affection, he must have seen, she knew,
the apparent Inconsistency of her attitude.
She did not judge or condemn, she did not
really disapprove in the case of others of
that which she refused him. True he had
made no declaration of his love for her,
but it was only the instructive knowledge
that to do SO was quite useless that re-
strained him. But day by day it was get
ting harder for him to be silent. And what
would happen then? Would she be strong
enough to withstand him? For the mo-
ment, however, the acuteness of these per-
plexities had lost their point since Thurso's
collapse this morning, and, torturing as
that anxiety was, it was less wearing than
the other.
But these thoughts, the summary Of her
inner life for the last two or three months.
did not now get between her pen and her
Ghn bod 70 thnpa ftorc
inQuiring about her husband regretting her
absence from various parties and gather
ings, and she had to answer them with the
knowledge that the world knew what was
the matter with him. Some people thought
he had taken to drink. others that he had
taken to drugs, and since nobody said such
swers carefully. But it was no longer
any use to pretend that nothing was wrong |
the whole world knew that something was |
wrong. Thus these letters required a |
But the interruption for which she had |
been waiting soon came, and Sir James |
Sanderson hustled cheerfully into the room. |
He looked extraordinarily unlike an emf |
captain, dressed rather absurdly. He had |
a toothbrush mustache, a bronzed, ruddy |
face, and wore a black frock coat, with |
yellow boots, and a red tie. He was awk- |
ward, cheerful and embarrassed, and |
played golf whenever possible, which was |
not often, with the enthusiasm of boyhood |
and remarkable inability. But, incidental
ly, he had saved more lives and restored |
more health, which he thought far more i'm
portant than any other three doctors put +
together
He shook hands with Lady Thurso, and |
sat down a small chair, which broke
into fragments beneath him, leaving him
couched among splinters on the floor. He
quite distinctly said, "Oh, damn!' and
struggled to his feet.
"Oh. am SO sorry" said Lily. II hope
you are not hurt
And though this farcical Introduction was
utterly unntended by the doctor, she felt |
rahe- more courageous.
Not in the least, but the chair is" he
said. Yes, have been with Lord Thurso
for the last hour"
He found another seat
Now, be brave" he said.