Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1906-02-03
A JOKE IN LONDON.
The Solemn Story of the Sad Fate of
an American in England.

ne 0oiemh Story OF tne Sao ate OF
an American in England.
A certain professor in a Western
university, who might as well be called
Morse, because that is not his name,
was in London last summer. He is
the author of several novels, and his
fame as writer and as an educator is
sufficient to extend across the sea.
Walking one day he met an English
literary friend who, in the most in
formal and casual way, invited him to
come to dinner that night at club,
where. he assured him, he would meet
some of the really important literary
lights of the town. When he reJolned
his friend that evening there were GER
tainly literary lights enough, but Pro-
lessor Morse discovered. to his amaze
ment, that the banquet, for it was
nothing else, was of the most cOnVen-
tional and formal sort, and that he was
the guest Of honor.
After the dinner, which was a long
and rather heavy meal, the chairman
raped for order and arose and said:
Gentlemen OF the - Club: There
is hardly one of you'll all imagine.
who has not observed with swelling
pride the literary activity of our
brethren across the sea. (ApplauseD
We have all observed the-ah-grc sing
literature III the States There is
hardly branch of the art of writing
in which our brethren over sea have
not theii shining representative. U1ear.
hear. Blood. as has we'll been said,
gentlemen, is thicker than water. and
we would he something less than hu-
man, if we did-ah-nOt take interest
OH what the states produce in the way
Of fiction. of poetry. and of bellies let
tres. 1t is therefore with the liveliest
sense of pleasure that l introduce to
you tonight our honOred guest SEARCH
ing in his vest pockets, our talented
young friend. Mr.. - (another vain
search and a hasty look under the nap
kim, the talented young writer. whose
works have become as household words
on two continents with a sudden burst
of memory, Mr.. Morse. who will adj
dress the club. Great applause)
MIR. Morse. with black curses in his
heart for the man who had inveiglcd
him into this mess, arose. and after a
few remarks. such as might be expected
under the circumstances. relating to
his deep sense of gratitude at meeting
SO many distinguished literary men.
and apoogizing for his unprcpared-
ness, went on to say that it seemed to
him to be "a case of mistaken identity
like that of an instance of which he
had recently heard. He then related
the story of Il man riding on a bus in
the Strand. lie was sitting next to the
4 s,,t
sion as to whether or not a certain
revercnd-looking man in the bus was
the archbishop of Canterbury. Final
ly each man wagered shilling. and
the one WHO was free went inside to
have the question decided. Approach
ing the passenger in respectful mein
and with head uncovered lie asked:
EXCUSE me, but are you the Arch
bishop of Canterbury" WhereupOn
the man addressed turned upon him
with snarl and said: "What the HI
is it to you whether l am or not?"
Withtira wing crestfallen, the man re-
turEcd to the driver, gave him the
shilling and said: "You win. It's his
grace
This was Professor Morse's story and
he thought it Il pretty good place to
sit down, which he did. There was Il
slight cOmmOtion at the tables, but no
applause. The embarrassing silence
was broken by the chairman rising and
remarking: Everyone must have oh
served with qualification that the ties
are drawing the mother country each
year closer to her wandering sons over
sea. Among the most powerful nfiu-
| ences which are doing this work is the
noble English tongue and the men who
employ 1t in making the literature of
the English-Spcaking race wherever it
may be found. am sure / express
the sentiment of the club when l re-
peat that we are honored to have with
us tonight our talented young friend
from oversee. / am also sure that we
have all enjoyed to the full his delight
full art OF story telling, an art in which
his countrymen excel, as we all know
from having read the works of-ah-
Samuel-ah-Samuel- Twain. 1t
was hardly necessary to say to those
assembled. however, that it could hard
ly have been the archbishop. for, of
course. his grace would not use that
language" Great applause) The
chairman then called upon another
member. He, too, referred to the
pleasure it was to meet our talented
young friend. But" he said, there
is another reason in addition to that
advanced by our honorable chairman.
why the party in the bus could not
nave been the archbishop. because, of
course, his grace never rides in bus"
tApplause and cries of you're right.
That's SOY Finally at the other end
OF the room languid man, arose amid
cheers and said:
think we do our talented young
friend an injustice in thus subjecting
his native humor to our rules, which
are, as every schoolboy knows. radical
~ different from those governing that
o! the states. But cannot but refer
'" 3noth"r reason fivino the identity of
the gentleman in the bus as other