The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1906-12-13
A Story In Four Letters
[Original.1


"My Dear Uncle-I write this my
fortnightly letter to you to tell you
that am still doing very we'll in my
classes-studying hard, devoting my
whole time to my college duties. I
haven't missed lecture so far this
term. You know. am very fond Of
athletics, but remembering your advice
to be careful about letting sports in
terfere with my studies | have hung
up the racket and the golf stick, con-
tenting myself with porting over books.
1t is very hard now that the spring
days are on to see the fellows going
out in field costume for practice; but,
remembering your valued advice,
resist the temptation.
''Then, too. l have taken advantage
smoking Cold water is good enough
for me, and as for smoking, the smell
of tobacco makes me sick
Il hope you and my aunt continue In
your usual good health and that your
eyesight hcs improved. Tell Aunt
Caroline that l am taking all the
spring medicines she sent me. l am
really quite fond of the herb tea, and
the liver mixture is doing wonders for
me. Tell her that l am needing her
advice not to throw off my overcOat
too early in the spring and not to go
out on damp ground without my rub,
bers. The muller she so kindly sent
me at Christmas time | have worn
constantly all winter
"Be assured, my dear uncle, of my
affection for you and my aunt and lie
lieve me your devoted nephew,
PERCY"
Second letter, Percy Walker to his
fancee Miss Ruth Stevens:
Dearest Ruth-Have just written
uncle and now comes the delight of
writing to you. (Stop till l light pipeJ
l have to tell you the glorious news
that l am first in winter practice in
tennis and have won a place in the
university crew. I've had more time
for sports this term because I've
chosen elective studies that don't III
terfere-the lectures, l mean-with the
hours for practice. l am having a
hard time in the spring examinations
and for the last week have been
i01 RI
slip through-if my ponies don't go
back on me-but regret that the con
finement and lack of exercise may
throw me- in my candidacy for q
place in the football team
by the bye, was forgetting to tell
you that | gave "a wine in my room
last week, at which two baskets of
champagne were consumed. There
were twelve Of u.s. each man drinking
two bottles. The gang was too high
mucky muck for pipes, SO l had to buy
box of cigars. This took my last
dollar, and uncle's next check isn't due
for two weeks. wish dared ask the
old rooster for an extra. He'd send it
quick enough, but it would give me
away I'm telling him | have only
term and hash bills to pay, and he
knows my allowance is plenty for that.
''Mind, sweetheart, when you see I'M
Gle to tell him that I've taken a prize.
It's for singles in tennis. but he'l think
it's for a thesis in Greek. And tell
Aunt Caroline that I've been invited
to take the superintendency of the
Sunday school at the Third Presby-
terrain church. They'll consider me too
modest to write them these things and
will think all the more of them COM
Ing from you. Goodby, lovey. With
a billion kisses, your loving
PERCY"
Enter a gang Of students to discuss
the makeup of the baseball team for
the coming season. When they leave
the letter writer is about to leave
when, seeing his letters, he puts them
In envelopes and hurriedly addresses
them. Then he runs after the athletes
Third letter, Miss Ruth Stevens to
Percy Walker:
Dearest Percy-You naughty boy!
You have sent me by mistake letter
to your uncle. Great Scott, l must
have sent her letter to uncleD Oh
how | laughed when l read it! For
heavens sake, it's no laughing mat
terD You ought to be ashamed OF
yourself. You 'devoting your whole
time to your studiesv Cold water
good enough for you! THE smell Of
tobacco makes you sickv Then those
spring medicines your aunt sent you.
You know you never wear an overcoat
Or rubbers and seldom hat
81 think you'd better go back to
school and learn to write. 1t was all
I could do to read your letter. You
must be more careful Some day
you'll be sending one Of your letters to
me to your uncle.'
Soliloquy: That's just what I have
done. Ruin stares me in the face
Uncle will stop the funds, and I'll have
to leave college, And that when I've
Just got where I wanted to get on the
teams. Well, goodby. alma mater.
20 to some sweatshop or other, where