davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
IN COMPARISON

THE poor" we say, philosophically,
have their compensations. Do you sup
pose the little rich child has half the Joy
in receiving a gift that costs thousands Of
dollars that the little poor child has in re-
ceiving one that costs but a few cents?''
Huh" growls our pessimistlc friend
Maybe not. But III bet you that the lit
tie rich child would be A blamed sight
madder in comparison If il got the gift
costing the few cents"
WILBUR NESBIT
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
The Chain Intact.

From the Philadelphia Ledger.
Il see there is another search being
made for. the missing link, said the
young man, trying to make cOnversa-
ton Now, 1 never felt any interest
In the matter"
Perhaps" said the young lady.
kindly, lin your case, the link is not
Missing"
Still, this was poor excuse for the
acrimony manifest in the slsmming of
tile door after him.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
We Can't Help IL.

From the Louisville Courier-JournaL
The New York Times points out that
Stephen A Douglas said Of Cuba In 1858,
1T is a matter Of no consequence wheth-
er we want It or not, We are compelled
to take it" We may perform the duty
of annexation as the little boy caught
the Itch cause we can't help it.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
CAPITOL GOSSIP.
Speaker was Austere.

Ripples OF laughter that gathered in
strength until they exploded in loud guf-
faws characterized the proceedings of the
House yesterday during the consideration
Of the salaries-increase bill Nearly every
statesman who tackled the subject sub
mitted remarks that were either con-
sciously or unconsciously humorous. At
any rate. the nerves of the House We're
wrought W to pitch that required only
the very slightest cause to arouse It's risi-
bilities. But the Speaker seemed not to
share In the merrlment. Austerely he sat
upon his high seat and tapped reproving-
~ with his gaveI at every outburst OF
laughter Boldly the Hon. Oscar ". Tn
derwood opposed the whole scheme, even
including that paragraph In the bill which
raises the Speakers salary from Ss,0o0 to
Sl2,o00. Uncle Joe did not rap once while
the Alabamian held the floor and argued
against the necessity and the policy of
the measure. over in the far corner Of
the Republican side there rose a tall form.
Uncle Joe's eagle eye caught the tall form
in a jlny.
Does the gentleman from Alabama
yield to the gentleman from New York;"
inquired the Speaker
He does, replied Mr. Underwood
From the lips OF the tall form there
was shot at the Alabamlan this question:
'Will the gentleman tell the House how
much It costs him to live IN Washington ?"
"A-a-a-hr' came a mighty exclamation
from all parts OF the chamber.
''The gentleman from Alabama, replied
Mr.. Underwood does not-hesitate to
state that when in Washington it costs
him ali he makes 10 live. but that it does
not cost him that much at home"
"O-O-o-o-Oh" the House groaned and
grinned again IN chorus
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

A Virginia contemporary suggests the
happy idea of allowing Texas to decide
as to Bailey's guilt or innocence. This
would be a novel and unheard Of pro
eeeding upon the part Of outsiders. but
It is a fine suggestion to adopt. for all
that
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
No Private ChuteS.

7 suppose you had hardships In the old
days, grandpop?'
"Hardships! Many a time I got up and
walked four blocks to borrow book from
"a Carnegie library"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
En.fIr Founwed.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealss.
A French professor says he is following
up elews that will reveal to him the
mystery of the creation Of plant life.
He followed up a strong scent when he
chased down the onion.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
Fitted for IL

Marie Studholme is 10 star in a new
piece called 'Everybody's Darling.
rs that so? Why was Lillian Russell
overlooked?'
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
RACK To ITS SOURCE.

You people in America, 20 says the tour
ist. ARE making the mistake Of the CEN
tury by cutting down your magnificent
forests"
All replies the native with much
pride, but you should observe that all the
timber thus cut out IS being replaced on
or near its original site in the shape of
bin boards"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
4 Boom for KItchin.

Gov. Claude Swanson. who had 10 resign
his seat In the House a few months ago
at the call Of his grateful constituents in
Virginia TO become their chief executive.
visited the scenes of his former triumphs
the other day. One of his chums in the
House while he was a member of that
body was Hon. ", ". Kitchin, Of North
Carolina. who is still there.
You ought TO be the governor of your
State Kitchin." declared Gov. Swanson.
"and I am going to start your boom
right away. It's easy when you know
how. and so here goes.
Forthwith Gov. Swanson began to circu-
late around among the North Carolina
delegation and sing the praises OF AIr.
kitchin. None Of them attempted 10 gain
say any OF the fine things the Virginia
governor had 10 say about his former
chum, and before he left the Capitol Gov.
Swanson had launched a gubernatorial
boom for Mr.. kitchin. the noise of which
is now reverberating ali over the Tar Heel
State.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Nicholas, Car OF Russia, Will never
cease 20 regret the passing away of the
Jap-Yankee war cloud. just think what
a time Nicholas could have had acting as
between JaDan and America.
And he might have captured the Nobel
peace prize. too.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

SenatOr-elect Jeff Davis. who declares
he never viii wear a dress suit at any
time, and Representative J. Warren
Keifer, who wears one morning, noon. and
night, ought to get together early IN the
next session and see If they cannot agree
upon a middle course.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
When No Rec. Nnt of Wrecks,

From the Ohio State Journal
There will evidently be 10 such thing
as wreekless railroad until the reck-
less trainman is abolished.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
ALI Amounts To.

THE wise folks began unusually early
this year.
Began What?"
Advising people to do their shopping
early"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
THE auEsTION.

The clouds are denseiy massed above;
The skies are dark and threaten snow
But this Is what I'm thinking Of.
How far will twenty dollars go?
The shoppers throng the busy street.
I eddy with the tide and flow.
And 20 myself these words repeat:
How far will twenty dollars go?
In this rich crowd l feel alone.
Ny eye is dull; my step is slow.
AS ever and anon I moan:
How far viii twenty dollars go?'
Some think of play and some Of love
In this erratic world below,
But this Is what I'm thinking Of:
How far will twenty dollars gog"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

A new germ has been discovered and
will have to stagger through life under
the name Of HistOpiasma capsulata
Scientists have not yet decided in which
department OF the germ business this
stranger works; SO, II you happen to meet
one, you cannot possibly determine what
sort OF a lemon he is rendering you.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
Way It Works.

She started I'm quite early
And got her shopping done,
And now her friends (poor giriieD
Are having ali the fun.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
Christmas Version of II.

Everybody shops but father he hops 'rolnd all day
Stirring up his debtors 50 that he can pay
Mother, she buys presents, 50 does Sister Ann
Fyerrhs,dy shous AZ cur house bat our old man
~-CleTeland Leader.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
Better ChiIdren, Not More

From the Kansas City Journal.
II he must dabble in such matters,
President Roosevelt should advocate bet
ter families. instead OF larger ones.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

A ST. Louis woman wants a divorce be-
cause her husbands gave her only 60 cents
year. OF course. no woman could put
up with such a figure as that
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
A Sure Thing.

From the Chicago Evening Post
One way to stave of the next revolu-
ton in Cuba IS to keep the natives busy
running for office
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Sir Thomas Upton denies the soft I'm
parchment Really, you know, the young
lady Is charming; but Sir Thomas regrets.
&c Sir Thomas IS right there with his
gallantry. every time; but it stops Just
short Of the altar.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Young Mr. Rockefeller says he is a
total abstaineT because the first glass of
beer is apt 10 lead 10 a desire for more.
Yes; the appetite for more is pretty well
defined in the Rockefeller family.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

DR. Woodrow Wilson SAYS it is a pa
triots duty 10 accept Office when ten
dered. The doctor is infringing upoa Gen.
GrOsvenor's copyright.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

The Louisville Courier-Journai thinks
the Presidents message was entirely too
long. Surely the Courier-Journal would
not have had Mr.. Roosevelt hand Con-
gress lot Of pert paragraphs?
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

A statis'ician estimates the swag of
New York thieves during the past year TO
be something over a million dollars. A
gross error; Wall streeters have cleaned
up more than that In a single day.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

1t is said that Mr.. Bryan is making
more money writing than he would make
in salary If he were President. But NIr
Bryan had rather be President than
write.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

With the King Of Dahomey dead ard the
Shah Of Persia almost in the same fix. the
visible supply Of widows seems far In ex-
cess Of the demand.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

A New York woman uses a phonograph
In making out her case on useless and dis
turbing noises. AS a horrible example,
prOba blV
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Senator Smoot faces the situation
TRANQUILITY notes a contemporary. The
Senator and the situation are old. old
friends. and have faced each other time
and again Why should not the utmost
tranquility prevail?
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

The man behind the gun Is all right. but
We are having just trile too much Of
the lady behind the gun.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Mark Twain says a man In a claw
hammer coat looks like a crow. The man
in the claw-hammer will politely refrain
from mentioning to Mark what a man in
white flannel suit in the middle of De-
cember looks like
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Bradstreet's says. THE Christmas trade
is breaking all records" And that isn't
all it Is breaking. either.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
Ever suspicious.

The hon and the lamb had lain down
together.
Whereat many rejoiced.
But others doubted. and intimated that
1t was for the gate receipts, merely.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Zoltan de Takach Gyongyoshasaszy Is
the latest musical fad. Why not sim
plify his name to Gy?
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
And THEY'RE All Rnsr

From the St Louis Post-DisI,atch.
France has reached the glory summit.
She has eight editors in her cabinet
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

A Kansas editor wants Mr.. Hartman
elected to succeed Mr.. Roosevelt in the
Presidency. That would bring about a
certain form Of government ownership Of
the railroads which Mr. Bryan would be
Overwhelmingly certain not to indOrse.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
Thomas F. Ryan. IN New YORK word.

Thomas T. Ryan. IN New York World.
IL has been said that the Democrats
have no issues on which to go before
the country in 1905. II that were true
before, it Is certainly not true to-day Mr
Root has furnished Us with a most ad-
mirable issue. All Democrats should feel
under obligations to Nr. Root for the ser
vice he rendered in his speech.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Forty-seven more Pulajanes have bit
the dust This seems to be the Pulajane's
only way 10 get his name in the papers.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

The inheritance tax is not so bad II will
simply divert a part of the money from
the lawyers to the Treasury.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
From the Rsl,in,o-s A,,.-,,..,

From the Baltimore American
The influences that have made and kept
the nation may be relied upon 10 preserve
the tie Of common integrity consistently
with the measure Of autonomy that can
be adequately exercised by the States.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

The impending change in the Navy
Department viii make the fifth Secretary
Of the Navy during the past five years.
This position seems to be popular place
for aspiring statesmen TO hesitate
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Mr. Roosevelt is said to have stated
that he would withdraw his simplifed
spelling orders If they proved to be un-
popular It is now his move.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Gov,-elect Hughes is said TO have been
"dee-ight-ed" with his reception at the
White House. He probably would not
object to a prOtracted stay there. at a
not too distant period
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

StiH. even at 5000 per annum, Congress
ought to be thankful that Uncle Sam pays
them by the year, and not by the Sob.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

If the balance Of them follow Senator
Burrows lead and each speaks six hours
on the Smoot case. the Senator from Utah
will no doubt be thankful for an excuse
TO get out
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

From the New York Journal Of Commerce.
There is danger that this celtralzins
tendency viii pass the limits of safety
for the life of the system, which depends
upon maintaining the vitality and vigor
Of the members. as well as of the central
organ. There is danger Of the gradual
auophy Of States, while the national
government gathers to itself an abnor-
nal power Of control over what are their
proper functions.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
GROWING FEDERAL POWER.
Comments on Mr., Roots Advocacy of
Centralized Government.

From the New York Sun
The advocates Of State rights Will new
er lnvelgh against the supremacy Of the
constitutional laws Of the United States
They will never inveigh against the con-
stitutional extension OF national authority
in the fields OF necessary control All
that they demand is that the laws In
which the Federal government asserts its
supremacy shall be constitutional laws.
and that the method Of extending ma
tional authority IN the fields Of necessary
control shall be the method prescribed by
the Constitution itself.
II MIR. Root holds 10 that doctrine the
advocates Of State rights have no quar-
rel with him. That he did mean III his
speech OF night before last to provide
that the assertion OF Federal supremacy
must be by laws which are constitutional,
and that the extension of Federal au-
thority must be by constitutional amend
mcnt only. we have not a shadow Of a
doubt ANY other form Of assertion, any
other method Of extension, would be rev.
oiutionaTy. Would that the occasion
might come for the same eloquent speak
eI and broad-minded political philosopher
10 discuss a subject of equal. if not even
superior present interests; namely, the
Capitalization OF Federal activity in the
executive department of the Federal
government. to the depletion Of the legis-
lative department and of the judiciary.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
Also its Ups and Downs.

From The Dallas News
The topper knows all about reel life
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

If Mr.. Riddle, the new Ambassador to
Russia. Is wise. he will live right up to
his name, and keep things to himself.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Friends Of Mrs. T. E. Roessie, widow OF
the former well-known proprietor OF the
Arlington Hotel, viii be glad to know OF
her return to TIE city, after long So
jOurn in Paris.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15
From the New York World

Prom the New GCrk World
But whatever Mr.. Roosevelt and Mr..
Root do. the great charter Of American
liberties will never lack d defender, so
long as George F. Baer draws the
breath Of life. II was Mr. Baer who
helped NJ. Morgan with the State rights
applause when John Hay Brown answer
cd the Secretary CT State. AS President
OF the Reading. Mr.. Baer would shed
his last drop Of ink for the Constitution
Of the United States, although he is not
so devoted TO the constitution Of Penn
sylvdnia, which forbids railroads from
mining coal
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Buffalo Bill" as Capt. Cody's friends
invariably style him, was a conspicuous
figure ia the Willard lobby last evening
He is looking in tip-top health, and told
Herald reporter that any man VIA
stay young looking until he IS ninety
years old if he viii only go horseback
riding regularly. His own fine condi-
ton he attributes to that exercise. The
great scout had a fine business with
his Wild West Show in every part OF
Europe that he visited the past season.
and in the Old World they regard him as
AZ, liz, n chnrr-rr1or1
The Washington herald., 1906-12-15

Capt Patrick Henry. OF Arkansas, who
Is at the Ebbitt, is a worthy bearer Of a
distinguished name. He has represented
the Mississippi River Improvement As
sociation at the Capital for many years.
and is authority on all matters pertaining
to the betterment Of that great stream.
he believes that the recent Rivers and
Harbors Congress here did much 20 en-
tighten the country on the merits OF
more liberal appropriations for the na-
tons waterways
The Washington times., 1906-03-08
IOHNSONJEANNElTE
BATTLE NEXT CARD

BALTIMORE. March s.-Whiie Terry
McGovern and Battling Nelson are wag-
ing war in Philadelphia. Baltimore will
also be having a little pugilistic bonn
bardment OF it's own. After a lapse of a
north or so, the Eureka Athletic Club
will resume its regular meetings next
Wednesday night at Germania Manner
chor, with Jack Johnson, the champion
colored heavyweight. and Joe JeaDnette,
who puts claim to the title OF colored
light-heavyweieht champion, az the
principals in n fifteen-rOund encounter
at eatchweights.
Johnson Is. perhaps, more widely
known than his coming opponent and he
created quite a stir at one time. by
challenging Jeffries. Then and now many
people thought and still think. that he
would have given the champion a hardee
rub than any other aspiring heavy
weight.
Johnson. for a big man. is wonderfully
fast and IN the minds Of the mo jority.
is far superior in ali ways to ell of the
bunch who are squabbling about the
heavyweight title.
Jeanette is also far from dub. He
has had three bouts with Johnson, all
siX-round affairs. and all undecisiye
Both are glad the route calls for fifteen
rounds, which is far enough for one or
the other 60 show his right to a victory.
The Washington times., 1906-03-08
v. |. |. FIVE WON
FIRST PRO" GAME
Militiamen Defeated ST. Stephens In
stitute 2s to ~ in Last Minute
of the Game.

The Washington Light Infantry
basketball quint defeated the St.
Stephens team last night in the former :
gymnasium, by 2S to 27.
The game WAS one of the first of q
series OF professional matches which will
be played from now on until the end OF
the season. Last nights contest was
fast from start to finish and the big
crowd which witnessed the affair was
more than satisfied With the exhibition.
Up 10 the last minute neither team
could be picked the winner. the score at
the end OF the first half standing Is to
Is In the second period. first the Infant
ry would score and the Institute men
would follow with a basket, which kept
the tallies even until the last half
minute OF play when Capt. Sam Shreve
Of the soldiers. clinched the game for
his team by shooting the winning point
on a free throw
Shreves work was easily the feature.
from the Infantry standpoint. and for
the losers, Shorty Hughes put up the
best game. Lotus. Robey. MoriaritS.
Moffttt and Taylor also did good work
for their respective teams.
The second game Will be played on
Wednesday, March a.
The lineup.
The Washington times., 1906-03-08
CORCORAN CADETS
TO MEET QUAkERS
Local Cracks Scheduled to Play College
Basketball Champions on Friday
Evening, March so.

Capt Z G. Edwards, manager Of
the Corcoran Cadet basketball quint, an
nounces that he has scheduled game
with the champion Pennsylvania I'VE. 10
be played at the National Guard gym
nssium on Friday evening, March 30.
This is the first time for several years
that Columbia University has not been
the college champions of basketball. and
ii is only after defeating every team in
the intercollegiate league in some OF the
most exciting games in the history OF
the sport, that the Quakers have won
the title.
The Northern trip. which the Cor
corans took several weeks ago, has done
much for the local cracks in the way
of experience and practice, and the
GuaTdsmen expect TO give the college
champions a hard run for the money.
The Corcorau Reserves VIII play the
Hospital Corps quint in the Center
Market Armory tomorrow night at
O'Clock.
The Washington times., 1906-03-08
Duryea Won Heavily.

Neagle Rawlins. Fred VI. Weede. VII
liam G. Weart. 4. NJ Gillian, Ray Zieg-
Ter. u. Leroy Reeves. William II. Rocap-
Bert Crowhorst. Joseph EstOclet, Horace
s FogeI Johc N Kelly. II. Walter
Schlichter. II. Bart McHugl.. a. II.
Pennington. Joseph NJ. MCCTesdy. secTe-
tary. 1873 Chestnut street, George NJ
Graham. treasurer, North American
Building.
As it is desired TO make the dinner
popular in every sense. the committee
viii be glat 10 welcome any of Lave $
many friends and admirers. Notices
have been sent out to such enthusiasts
as could be reached. but anybody who
was overlooked can still qualify by send
ing s.. the price per plate. 20 George NJ.
Graham. treasurer for the committee.
at the North American Building.
The dining party viii leave for Wash
ington Park at d time 10 be announced
later. A special boat viii take guests to
the scene of the feast.
The Washington times., 1906-03-08
FANS WILL DINE
VETERAN CROSS
Nationals New Player Has
Host of Friends.
PROMINENT NAMES ON LIST
Leading Baseball Players and Mana
gers and Newspaper Men of
Philadelphia Subscribe.

PHILADELPHIA, March Slave
Cross is not to be permitted to leave
Philadelphia for Washington without
getting a convincing proof OF the es-
TEEN in which he Is held here.
The many friends Of the Athletic cap
tain who played in Philadelphia during
fourteen of his twenty-five years in pro-
fessionaI baseball are arranging a test-
moniaI dinner. where they can say good
bv to Lave end wish him success as q
Washington player.
The affair will be held al Washington
Park on the Delaware Tuesday evening
April 10 1t will take the form OF q
planked shad dinner.
Prominent ball players who have been
on the same teams es Lave. members of
the Phillies and Athletics. owners of
clubs who have found in the departing s
star a conscientious worker. newspaper
friends and fans generally viii assist.
The Washington times., 1906-03-08
FOUR SKIES WON BRIDE
IN MATRIMONIAL GAMBLE

OMAHA. Neb.. March "a game of
dice has settled a rivalry OF long stand
ing for the heart and affections OF Miss
Lulu Baker. a pretty stenographer in
the Merchants Hotel, of this city, The
gamesters were Jules Althaus, Of Oma-
ha, and Jack Mitchell Of Council
Bluffs. both Weii-known young business
men, and while tho game was in prog
ress, Miss Baker stood by and enoour-
aged the young men.
For several years the two young men
have been rivals for Miss Bakers heart.
Finally they decided to throw dice. the
loser TO drop out OF the race. Miss Ba-
ker agreed 10 abide by the result After
each had won game and Mitchell had
thrown four skies, Miss Baker begged
Althaus- TO let her shake for him Ait
haus refused and threw a nondascript
hand. He shook hands with Mitchell
and the girl and walked away. saying
he would never call OF hsr again.
The Washington times., 1906-03-08
GREAT FIGHT CROWD
FOR NEXT WEDNESDAY

PHILADELPHIA, Pa. March S.-The
biggest house and representing the nosr
money in Paid admissions that ever saw
a priezhght I'm this city will be on hand
when Battling Nelson and Terry Nc
Govern step into the ring al the Me-
tional Athletic Club next Wednesday
night Although less than half Of the
seats have been put on sale. moro than
$, 600 worth of tickets already have been
sold
All of the $40 and s. seats were scoop
ed up with a rush as soon as the sale
opened. The 81 and s. seats win not
be put on sale until next wee's and
they will be sold out even faster than
the more expensive ones. The seating
capa city of the house represents a lit
tie over 81, 600 the costliest on record
here