The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-12-16
CAVED THE
D MIDNIGHT EXPRESS.
Episode In tho Life OF q Human
Sandwich Who Was
Hard Up.

.Yes,' said Weary william Rhcade.,
president Of the A~malgamated Order ~
FatiRued Itiperants, firmly planting his
foot on the third rail under the bar. pride
surely goeth before a fall, or rather IL wsntsth
before an Indian summer In my case.
~The wolf had taken up such Q menaotnT
p~osition toward my door hat I was CON-
peIIed to seek employment. I secured
a Job as a sandwich man. Not an or
binary sandwich man. bet an advanoed-ons
might say club sandwich man.
Il did my work at night and the signs I
carried on my back ar manly chest wers
composed Of electric light bulbs the storage
batteries for the. Illumination Of which
I carried in my pockets.
The signs read, 'Stopi Dangerr on tho
front an Avoid loose false teeth. We
guarantee ours as non-swallowahle.
Snatchem a Fillem, 'Steen ~Umpty-umpth
street. on the rear end.
Il mingled with the theatre throngs on
the gay thoroughfares in the evenin' an
NV UNIQUE signs attracted q deal Of stten.
ton. BY pressin' on certain buttons Of
my specially prepared suit 1 could make
the signs fare up an 60 out at will.
aThe portable, Intermittent announcement
was my own idea an I was rapidly putting
the Indian sign on the wolf when the warm
weather OF Indian summer brought on an.
acute attack of vanderbilt.
-I battled with the tourist microbe for
several evenin's. One night I got on my
course an the first thing l knew the liquor
trade winds had blown me dow to the
freight yards at Sixty-sixth street:
Il could not resist tho fascination Of the
| iug-a-rum Of the switch frogs in the rail,
road yards. Directly ! found myself curled
up in a box car an movin' westward, whittier
I knew not nor cared an iota. In a few
! minutes 1 was sound asleep,
when 1 awoke / found the car in which
/ had e%ntrained had been out out an placed
on a sidin' from some cause an / was miles
from any place of real Importance. The
wind had risen an was merrtly whistlin' a
fantasium through the Marcel wave on
al got down on the ground, preparin' to
walk in some direction. sure was some
distance from my base OF supplies an in
heavy marchin' order with my sign strapped
to me.
@As I moved away from the string Of boz
cars a more sturdy gust o vino than the
rest blew down the tracks an with a
creakin, an groanin, several OF the cars
main track, over the derai. Instead Of
the derail THROWN the cars down the bank.
a couple OF box cars were thrown directly
over on the main track
i OeCiOeu CnaC L y DoSC Dc Oh my Wdys
Suppose there should be a bad wreck
They would blame me, the poor, friendless
tramp. Therefore, l started to run up the
track, in my n-ervousness clutching con-
vulsively at the buttons on my coat.
""r-o-o-t, t-o-o-t, toot, tootP came the
whistle of a train in the distance / re-
doubled my speed, but instantly the mid
night express shot viciously around the
curve. I jumped TO one side to let thu
train pass, but to my surprise the train
slowed down as it passed me an came 10 -
stop within a few feet Of the derailed cars.
"Glancin' at my breast, l saw the lights
on the front side Of my sign were blazin'
forth in the night. The words, Stop!
Danger set forth by the electric bulbs
had attracted the attention OF the ever
watchful engineer an unconsciously |
had saved hundreds from a terrible death
oh, thanks, bartender, I shall always
remember you gratefully" and, fixing the
evening paper inside his waistooat 50 that
the exs type Of the headlines could better
shield him from the cold, Weary William
slipped out into the night.