New-York tribune., 1906-04-12

..Ra+hhonse John" the laureate Of Chicago. who
has just been returned to the Council by his ad-
miring constituents says, You can't pack trunk
and write poetry at the same time. and he oners
this exhibit to prove II:
HOLDING HANDS IN THE MOONLIGHT.
I held her hand that summer eve-the silvery moon
Her soft black eyes gazed into mine and seemed to
say. You're right. all right
Adown the lane we slowly stroed-ah, twas an
When Gwen Gwendoiyn and held hands while walking
in the pale moonlight
Fen should live thousand years I'll ne'er forget
Nor the pressure Of her little hand was so soft
Her beauteous charms I again as If twere only
There's nothing half so sweet in life ''spooning
in the pale moonlight.
Since then I've held some pretty hands that helped
to make my pocket light
The flush the straight, and other 'mtts' have
nearly broke many a night.
But my advice to all young men is play them to
And never sit between two gents unless you know
that both are right.
One of the Pennsylvania members OF Congress
appeared in the capital with a badly bruised nose
He maintained a dignifed silence about it for two
days. Then the questions grew too personal and
according to The Springfield Republican" he
gathered lot of his tormentors about him and
said: You fellows have been manifestng an
unholy interest In my nose. Now, If I tell YOU
about how l hurt 1t will you quit asking me aues-
tions e" They all promised. Well" he said Il
went over to Philadelphia few days ago TO wit
a launching at Cramps shipyard 1 got there
early. The manager OF the yard. who is par
ticular friend OF mine. invited me down under the
ship that to be launched 10 see how they hold
the ship the ways. While was under there a
careless workman knocked away the restraining
prop and the ship came down and hit me smack
the nose. Good afternoon. gentlemen
Just the Thing.-Young lady to clerk in book
store-I am looking for something suitable for an
old gentleman who has been married fifty years rs
Can you suggest something?
LIE
Two groups of persons were seated in a railway
station. according to ''Lippncott's Magazine" one
consisted of fashionably attired pair, the other
OF a pair who looked as if they were from the
country. They had been there Only few minutes
when girl came in whose complexion as
nearly perfect anything in this world ever is
While she was buying her ticket the young man
remarked to the ladies with him.
Isn't Miss Cransford beauty? Her complexion
is as perfect rose
At the time the other man clutched his
wife's arm and whispered:
Lord. Nan. hasn't that gal got a purity hide?"
THE PUNCTURED LIFE.
How strange is life! most uncertain thing.
Dependent the wiles and whims of Fate;
II one was destined never to be late "'-"7
Tonight, alone, midst other thoughts I pause
And ruminate before my ember fire
I lost the girl love the best because
had to stop to mend punctured tire
How the things are lust ahead
Invitingly they beCkon, out of reach
But when far down hfe's speedway we have snad
We find other fellows captured each speu
Then undlsmayed we throw in our high gear
No weak compression thwarts our Keen desra.
Yet ever when we feel the prize is near
We have TO stop and mend a punctured tire
And thus my life has been q broken thread
Some object seems immovable ahead
And | put on the brakes and fall behind
But In the end, when all life's cares / drop
And I shall run my auto-chariot or fire
I hope ] shall not then be forced to stop
Outside the Gate and mend punctured tire
Puck
Chicago paper announces the marriage Of Miss
Della GalloD and Herbert d. Miles. They should
make a race OF H.
THE Daily Graphic announces that Lady -
is now quite eonvalescent. and the infant baby is
also doing well These babies do get born alb
surdly young nowadays.-PuncA-