River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-02-08

look in the twelfth round, and served
'em everything but Solid Boast-beef
Facts on hct plate.
''The thing went tully till the Febru-
airy number. and no questions asked,
but fell down hard on that issue.
"The Big Winning had made by cor
pering my own tips to the Public On
Amalgamated made me overconfident
and missed right swing for little old
Wall Streets Groggy Jaw.
Il had to make good to the magazine
for about 100000 unsold copies, and it
learned me lesson much and plenty.
II got the public with me again on the
next issue by serving another round of
Copper Cocktails and printing some
fake Nursery Talk between me and
Rogers.
Next to the Real Thing-which I'll
never give 'em, because don't own one,
and because it isn't necessary to me
game-the People love to hear me tell
what Rogers said when he tried to buy
me honor, and how | said, looking a
Straight Flush into his deep, sea-green
lamps: Villain. take back your greasy
pipeline gold; had rather thousand
times be Cob of Bad Grammar in
Faultless Boston than be your plaything
in New York and fill Your Can with My
OIL"
What about your Remedy"
my Remedy? Why, Addie, you
make me think your head is Punk For
est.
II never had one. Doctor Bunyan has
had corner on the remedy market ever
since Holy Moses Played Marbles, and if
1 can only keep the Public's Ears un-
reefed half as long as he has held up his
finger without changing hands will be
satisfied way down to the Grass Plot.
anticipation is the Opium of JOY;
and it's up to me to encourage the Pub
lie Dope Pipe.
81 am for stringing the Dear Public
till have added Fat Few to me bank
roll and made Rogers and his pals un-
derstand what Getting Even means
by Yours Truly.
"It's the old game of throwing high
moral dust in mans eyes before you
divorce him from his stuff. People go
dippy over noisy reformed Money
Drunkard and even trust him with their
Tooth Brush when he tells how bad he
was before his soul woke up and
Stretched.
"We will just pound the market
through the papers and magazine till
we scare the people into Selling. Then
we'll Buy, let the suckers get their Sec
ond wind and boost the prices, then
we'll Sell. It's easier than vending
Beauty Powders to an Old Maid"
"On the level, Tommy, have you quit
the Oil Crowd for good?"
You mean me divorce from the Oil
Bunch? Sure yes, I'm their green-grass
widow all right. 1t was this way: after
l beat you to them on the Gas PROPOSE
ton we were as thick as prickly heat on
a summer baby. Of course, Rogers Held
Out on me when the Amalgamated Cop
per Lambskins were divided, but ex-
pected that. 1t was case of dog eat
dog, and he had the longest teeth.
Il gave him moving picture talk OF
how it tasted to get the Short End of a
thirty-five million dollar killing where
| was the Particular Guy what had
TANNED the suckers into buying mines
for $75,0O00O0 which only cost $4,000
900. But the real cause of our Red Rag
ing Split was their getting next to me
ringing in cold deck in the shape Of
Trinity Copper.
"They are little too nice for me, with
their understanding blend. I'm for
straight understanding red liquor, !
and what's more, I've got to be Head
Hog in the Pork Park, or l won't play
acknowledgements with any Herd
Ring-round-the-rosey is rightity-right
when I'm the rosey. but nixey- nit when
CTO BE CONTINUED.)
Copyright. 1905. by G. w. Dillingham; Coz
He TOOK SWIFT REVENGE.