The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-30
OF DIE laugh PRODUCERS OF THE AMERICAN CONGRESS


How do 1 Iookg" he demanded. put
ting on his high hat and giving his
neciztie a final pat.
His caller assumed his eyeglasses and
scanned him from head to foot
We'll" he said critically. you're
pretty well as far As you go. Wouldn't
it be we'll. though, John, to put on a
pair of trousers?
by Jupiter. ! forgot emil" Williams
declared, bIushiHg like schoolgirl
Mighty lucky you happened TO drop
IN
Representative Champ Clark Of the
Ninth Missouri district has national
reputation as an incorrigible joker He
is man of imposing appearance, over
six feet in height and built on hercu-
lean lines. His quaint species Of hui
NOR is made more effective by slight
drawl, and he wears the garb of an old
time planter. His specially seems to
be the retailing of ludicrous episodes
that have occurred in the lives OF
others. His stock of such anecdotes is
inexhaustible and he is able to pro-
duce one without notice, never repeat
ing himself
Clark was a warm admirer OF the late
Senator Vest and tells many amusing
stories illustrative of the wit of that
eminent statesman. During one OF
Vests campaigning tours he stopped
overnight in st. Charles, no. At
of the coffee and finally called for the
proprietor.
What is this stuff2" he demanded,
with a wave of his hand toward the Of
Tending decoction..
IT'S supposed to be coffee, Mr. Vest
replied the host meekly.
Mere hypothesis" the senator de-
clared- Why. my friend, 1 could in
sert a coffee bean in my mouth, dive
into the Missouri river, swim to Alton,
and I'll guarantee that better coffee
than this could be baled up over the
entire route
Senator Morgan of Alabama. who was
| long past the Scriptural age limit when
/ the late John Hay and Lord Pauncefote
negotiated the first canal treaty. is not
only the present champion long taIker
of the senate but is also endowed with
a grim humor which is Irresistible
One. day senator asked him ehafing-
"
How long, Senator Morgan. could
you talk on a subject of which you
knew absolutely nothing?'
oh, about as long as you and some
of the others usually do replied the
old statesman without a sign of con-
seriousness.
Senator Spooner manages to extract
a good many amusing things out of
ordinary everyday existence. His lat
est contribution to cloakroom humor is
as follows
Coming up in the car this morn
/ ing. a man gave the conductor a bad
nickel for his fare. The official looked
at it and handed it back
Bad he said laconicafly.
THE man took it hesitatingly What
do you expect me to do with it?' he
asked DO you want me to give it a
licking or send it to Sunday SCHOOL,
Representative Ketcham of the
/ Twenty-first New York district is not
only the Oldest member of the lower
house in point of service, but he is also
the deafest man in congress. Ny con-
stituents viii appreciate the situation"
T he said recently. referring TO a report
which had just been brought in. Il
! haven't heard a protest from them in
twenty years.
And these are not a 1.-THE of the wits
and punsters that relieve national leg
islation of its monotonous and technical
routine Any list of congressional on
timists which does not include the
/ perennial Depew, the cheerful Lands.
the droll Griggs. the humorousiy sage
I Allison and host of other esolons who
smile and are smiled at is sadly fncon-
plete. BURTON HOADT.Ey