davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24
would all make our mistakes easier.

would all make our mistakes easier.
Some people get religion with as
little forethought as = child gets
measles.
There wouldn't be so many sinners
II people struggled to get into heaven
as they do to get into society.
The trouble about being rich is that
you are apt TO have pate &c fois gras
appetite and one OF those milk toast
stomachs.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24
sUNFLowER PHILOSOPHY.


1t isn't as hard TO keep from being
sick as it is to be sick
The difference between a five and
a ten-cent cigar is five cents.
shoe clerk always looks at your
feet and a haberdasher at your head
Most people think you don't know
what trouble is. but that they can tell
you.
Do you enjoy having a fool come nm
to you and tell you what you should
do?
When a woman comes out of a ero-
Gerry store she is usually chewins
something.
A boy likes TO whistle 10 hear him
sell whistle When he grows I'D he
talks instead
VINE a man is candidate he Iools
PACK and THINKS of lots of things no
shouldn't have done before he entered
politics. %
Don't be wall flower. Get nm ara
dance. People may frown on You for
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

Il hear there's talk OF some council
men framing new gas lease bin"
Yes? by the way. how is gas
lease hin generally framed anyway
I'm gilt, usually. "-Chicago Daily
News
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24
NEWSPAPER WAITS.

On what form -of literary work do
you indulge2" Il am an inventor
OF "reminiscences. - Cleveland Plain
Dealer
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

Mrs. Hoyle-'I hear that your son
had 20 leave college" Mrs. Doyle
Yes; he studied too hard learning
the football signals. Puck
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

We DO many thines because they are
called pleasure. which we should hate
If they went by ANY other name.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24
BUBBLES.

A thing that is above criticism is
never beneath notice.
When a mans sinc'e sometimes no
has double the friends.
Il takes push to make a success %
wheeibarrow mandatory.
somehow the fastest burglar seems
willing TO take another mans dust"
Those who think they're the whole
thing leave small holes when they arc
gone.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

time but they win soon learn In
Keep out of your way.-Atobison
(Kan) Globe
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24
ATLANTIC COAST LINE
EFFECTIVE MAY eth

EFFECTIVE MAY 9TH
Trains leave Richmond daily:
For Florida and South. 9;O5 A. M, 7s25 and
9 30 p. n.
For N. q W. Ry. West, pIO and o 50
p. NJ
For Petersburg 200 A NJ. I2:lO. 800. go.
Q 90 and IL 30 p. NJ. ~
For Goldsboro and Fayetteville, .s;5s p. n
Trains arrive Richmond daily $40 - "a
..l0. IS and ll.f0 A. M. loo, 2 6, 80. 500 ana
$50 p. N. ~-'>'
Except Sunday, 80 sunday only.
c. s. CAMPBEI u. p A
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24
TRIO or LITTLE TRA!LERs.

How many could be made happy
with the blessings which are reckless.
y thrown away
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

Who does YOU reckon is de laz-
les" said one colored woman. "yuh
husband or mineg" Il ain gwintu
guess" answered the other. Its bad
enough now. wifout stahtin' no com
petition. "-Washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

Dick docking at picture book III
wonder what the Noahs did with them
selves all day long IN the Ark?" Ma
bel" Fishcd. I should think" Bob
bie-"Thoy didn't fish Cor long" Dick
and Mabel-"Why not?" Bobbie-
We'll. ybl see. there were only two
worms, Punch
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

Some women will miss heaven no
cause they s,t so loug by the wavsids
dissecting their guide books.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24
The j. Y. Hawkins HAIR GROWER &
- - = RESTORER 49,
.fTr ~ VARK REGISTERED.-

has proved TO be fortune to many of the nm.
IoreuhateS' VINO are to-day delighted with its
wonderful results. The merits OF this ersa,
hair preparation naturally places it in a sphere
all OF It's own, and the glowing terms i'm Which
our patrons speak OF 1t treasures us Of its salts
factory results We can well boast of a large
patronage throughout this and other States and
also enjoys the communication of the very hest
white and colored people in this Immediate com.
ln1 I In order TO convince the most slSepti-
hawkins Hair Grower and Restorer. we will
from time TO time produce in print the pboto-
graphs OF those giving as permission TO do Sc
VINO nave used our preparation and are - A.,
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24
WISDOM OF THE ANcIeNrs.

True friendship is imperishable.-
Phythagoras
Habit IS stronger than nature
Ouintus Curtius Rufus.
Nothing is more annoying than a
tardy friend.-Plautus.
1t is proof of nobility Of mind to
despise injuries.-Sencca.
God has many names. though he is
only one being.-Aristotle.
He hastens 20 repentance who hasti.
ly iudges.-Publius Syrus.
They are countless roads on all
sides to the grave.-Cicero.
Flattery is like friendship in show
but not in fruit-Socrates.
How few know their own good or
knowing II pursue.-Juvenal.
Fear OF the future is worse than
ones present lot.-Quintilian.
Frugality is the sure guardian OF
our virtues.-Ancient Brahmin.
He who hurries cannot walk with a
stately step.-Chinese proverb.
What you do for an ungrateful man
is thrown away.-Latin saying.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

The artist has his cotcrie. tho cler
gyman his Nestcrie and the cook his
panteric.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24
Manure Bushes In FAN.

For best results currant bushes
should be well MANFRED In the FAM
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24
PERSONAL.

Cen r. G. Shaver. one OF the few
surviving commanders OF the confed.
crate army. is practicing law al the
age of 20 at Mona. Ark.
J. b. Martin. an Ohio man WIN
owns large mining properties i'm
Alaska. asserts that he viii give $500.
600 year 20 the cause OF prohibition.
William Pinckney Whyte. United
States senator from Maryland who re.
Gently celebrated his sea birthday
has never been inside a saloon. never
smoked, and never rode in a cab
Fletcher Moulton. who has recently
been elevated to the British Court of
Appeals bench and is now known as
Lord Justice Moulton. is one OF the
most famous mathematicians in Eng.
land
Catherine and Margie SNYDER aged
20 and is. respectfully. run the ferry
across the. Susquehanna at Sbenks
Ferry. Pa, as their father did before
them The passengers pay the reau-
lar fare charged and add generally a
generous tip in recognition of the
pluck of the young women
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

the bearing
ration is natural and compound the ingredients would not
states Government has placed national
IN
estm sand edeaing
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

This may be Why marriage is nc
necessary institution in heaven.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

They have different tastes, tempera
merits and dispositions.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

1t assumes that the parties thereto
are faulty.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

Don't keep people waiting. They
have good memories for lost time.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

It VIII positively remove Dandrrh, Cure Scalp
OF all impurities, Restore Hair on Clean Temples
or Bald Heads, where the roots are not dead.
PRICEs;-25 cts per box Qocal orders 35 cts
out city; eight boxes, e. so express prepaid.
The Face Beautiher makes the of powder en-
trey unnecessary, and is perfectly harmless. Sale
prices; %, Scots and 81 90.
Money can be sent by Post Office Money Order
or Express Money Order LE-A charge Of IOcts.
extra Is imposed on all out Of city orders. AN
Address all communications to
NINE. J. V. HAWKINS,
el2 n. First Street, Richmond, Va
'PH0NE, 1901.
G&r Correspondence strictly confidential -aA
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

What you do for an ungrateful man
is thrown away.-Latin saying.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

Don't lose your temper. Leave
that TO the other man.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

II it meant the unison OF salu
and an angel, things would be diffel
emit
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

He who hurries cannot walk with a
stately step.-Chinese proverb.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

True friendship is imperishable
Phythagoras.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-11-24

The fellow who courts trouble gener-
ALLY ends by marrying IL.
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
COLD WATER AS
CURE FOR THE GRIP
Disease Not to Be Dreaded Except
by the Very Old or
Young.

Sneezing wheeling. coughing grip is
making its winter visitation 10 the ETY..
This disease. q ccording 10 Deputy Health
Officer ". Q. Fowler. is in our midst
and is taxing the energy of the local
medical profession TO check its fatal
course. II has come unannounced.
principally in the form OF aggravated
colds. and viii leave "a long trail of
sickness before its departure Is recorded.
Grip. SAYS DIT. Fowler. is not TO be
dreaded as supposed. unless il takes the
form of grip-pneumOnia. IN this eve II.
especially if the stricken person is
among the very Young or the aged, the
cases terminate fatally.
The remarkable feature of the COM
mon disease. DR.. Fowler SAYS. is the
rapidity with which ii spreads. Il may
be reported in London today and In
Washington tomorrow. il is no re-
specter Of persons or conditions and
seiZes its victims without warning.
usually filling the nOstriIs and throat
with a large quantity OF mucus, pro-
ducing severe headache, and is apt 10
last week or ten days.
A cold sponge bath. DT. Fowler ad-
Vises. is the best means of preventing
grip. and should be used by persons who
are already affected with the disease,
Cold water. he adds. acts as a tonic on
the system and IS an excellent method
OF producing a healthy circulation, and
in mot cases il provides a sufficient re
slstance against grips fatal POSSIBLE
ffgaS
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
APPENDICITIS AS
AID To CUPID
Fiancee's Anxiety Causes
Her to Hasten Wedding.
MARRIED IN THE HOSPITAL
Mrs. Bennit Can Now Attend Her Hus-
band Until He Is Sufficiently Re
covered to Leave the Institution.

A romance which had its inception
several years ago through the attend
ance OF both young people at the same
church. eliminated in a wedding in
Garfield Hospital The bride was Miss
Helen L. Stoddard, and the groom was
Charles n. Bennit. a patient in the in
stitution.
Preparations were under way for the
marriage of Miss Stoddard and Mr..
Bennit when the latter became very
i'll. and 1t was found he was suffering
from appendicitis. An operation was
necessary and the serious condition of
the prospective groom was a source Of
much anxiety 10 Miss Stoddard
The rules or the hospital would not
permit Miss StOddard's presence at Mr..
Bennits bedside. but her constancy and
devotion soon led to a way out Of the
difficulty 1t was decided to have the
marriage performed at once, instead OF
waiting for the date originally set. and
the Rev. Frederick d. Power. rector OF
the Vermont Avenue Christian Church.
the young peoples pastor, was called in
70 tie the knot.
On Saturday morning il was found
that Mr. Benntt was strong enough 10
go through with the ceremony and the
simple little service was soon per-
formed as the bride stood beside the in
valid's bed. A few relatives OF both
were present at the strange little we'd
ding, but the usual formalities os at
PENDANTS were dispensed with.
Mrs Bennit Will now be permitted 10
be in constant attendance 10 her hus-
band, and when he has sufficiently re-
covered, the honeymoon Will be spent.
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
SHORTAGE OF TRANSPORTS,
SAYS SECRETARY TAFT
In Report to Merchsat Marine Com
mission Cabinet Officer Asks for
Immediate Increase in Service.

In a report submitted 10 the chairman
Of the Merchant Marine Commission to-
day Secretary Taft says that the trans
port service of the War Department or
available in time OF war is inadequate
for the proper handling OF our troops.
Unless there is immediate increase
for transport service" cites the report.
the first blow. so important. cannot be
struck al all; nor can any expedition Of
any size be embarked without delay"
The chairsnan of the Merchant Marine
Commission made inquiry OF the War
Department in connection with the ship
ping bill now on the calendar for con-
sideratiOn. The report received 10y Sena-
tor Gallinger. Chairman Of the commits
sion. was prepared by Secretary Taft
and Lieut.. Gen. Chanee. chief OF staff
The Santiago expedition OF 1895 is
frankly critical BY the report which
illustrates IT, and cites that under
any conditions our merchant marine IA
cilities are wholly inadequate,
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
STRANGE DISAPPEARANCE
OF CONDUCTOR ETCHER

Central Office detectives and police
OF all. the precincts IN the city have
been requested 10 maintain a lookout
for Peter Etcher, a Baltimore and Ohio
conductor, thirty-one years old. who
has been missing from his home. SOS
First street northwest. for five days.
At the time of his disappearance he
had $zS-in his pockets. and his relatives
fear foul play
He swas seen last at Four-and-a-half
and 2 streets southwest the day he
disappeared. EtcheT is 3 feet : inches
tall, weighs i60 pounds, and wore a
blue suit and gray fedora hat at the
time Of his disappearance
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
WHAT DO YOU CARE?
YOU'VE GOT YOUR HEALTH
Great Natures Do Not Despair at Dis
appointment-Fhey Lock for
Something Else to Do.

The brOad-gRuged man of today does
not get blue just because things don I
always come his way unless there is
something the matter with him. If he
falls down" on one proposition he i'm
nediately starts to look up another. He
always looks forward and keeps on
hustling. a man with his health and
faculties has plenty OF opportunities and
the man who gives up or even feels like
IL has either small nature or some
physical weakness.
Dyspepsia certainly puts the best of
men out OF condition for work of any
/ kind. You cannot blame the dyspeptfc
Tor getting blue. The very nature of his
disease IS most depressing and calCu-
/ lated to deprive him OF ambition, energy
and nope. There Is hope for him, how
ever certain and sure.
Stuart = Dyspepsia Tablets are recog-
alzed throughout the length and breadth
of the land as the one cure that's safe
and sure. Their unbOunded popularity
resulting from The thousands and thou
sands of cures they have effected, prove
| beyond the shadow Of doubt their
greatness as cure. Wherein lies their
greatness? In the very fact that they
are Natures own simple remedy. They
do the exact work in exactly the same
way that the digestive ffuids OF the
I stomach do because they are composed
OF exactly the same elements and pos
sess the some properties. They. relieve
( the weak and worn out stomach or It's
burden of digestion and permit It With
out let or hindrauce 10 rest and grow
sound and well. The stomach will get
we'll quick enough IN its own natural
way ii ii is let alone. That Is what
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets do. They
not only let IL alone themselves but
make the food taken into the stomach
do the same.
You can satisfy yourself of the truth
of this statement by putting the food
YOU would eat into a glass jar with SUI
| ECient water and one of StusTt's Dys-
Tepsta Tablets. The process of diges-
ton will be taken up and carried out
just DIS the gastric Juice and other d.
geStiVe fluids would do il Their action
IS natural and they cause no disturbance
in the digestive organs IN fact you for
| set you have a stomach when they be-
gin 10 do their work, so mild and ma
| tural is the operation. Stuart's Dyspep-
STA Tablets are for sale by all druggists
at 50c a box.
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
LARGE AUDIENCE ENJOYS
MARINE BAND CONCERT

Despite the Indictment weather, an
audience comfortably filling the Column
bia enjoyed the sixth popular concert
of the Marine Band last night.
"Semper Fidelis.' the bands official
march, a piccolo solo by {. L. De Luca,
and sextette by Musicians Stone,
Smith. Brearton, May, McIntire, and
Lteweliyn, were the specially interest
ing features OF the program. Encores
were so numerous as to prolong the
concert more than twice IT'S length.
The next concert Will be given on
Sunday evening, January IS.
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
WOULD IMPROVE
NATIONS RIVERS
Congress on Waterways
COnFeneS at the Arlington.
M0VEMENT REVIVED
Urgent Appeal Made for = Generous
Appropriation for Bill Now Be-
fore Lower House.

The National Rivers and Harbors
Congress convened at the Arlington
Hotel his morning for the first CON
vention since 1891. when a meeting
was held in Baltimore.
The congress was opened by an ad-
dress Of welcome by NJ. J. Sanders, of
New Orleans, chairman of the execu-
tive committee. Mr.. Sanders made an
urgent appeal for a generous appro-
DriatiuIr from Congress for the river
and harbOr bill
Generally Opposed.
He said that public sentiment gener-
ally was opposed to appropriations OF
this nature, as people had come to be
lieve that they were nothing more or
less than outright steals. Congressman
believe. he said, that they are unneces-
saTy. and that they are useless ex-
pense to the nation. He then made
reference to the successful results that
had been obtained at the mouth Of the
Mississippi river, through the efforts OF
philosophical citizens.
THE Committee on Rivers and Har-
bors." AR. Sanders said. are obliged
to investigate each appropriation bill
separately. and this is usually done IN
a conscientious manner, Yet hundreds
Of thousands OF dollars of the public's
money are wasted annually because OF
the lack OF methOdical and systematic
appropriations by Congress to complete
work that has already been begun"
To Be Permanent.
He concluded by saying that the
scheme OF the convention should be TO
organize permanent. live. and active
organization,
Thirty~twO States are represented bv
nearly 600 delegates. Representative
men from all parts of the United States
are attending the congress. and the eff
forts OF the organization 10 secure
larger appropriations for public water
ways and harbOrs is expected to be pro-
ductive OF results.
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
CARDINAL GIBBONS At
CONFIRMATION SERVICES

Cardinal Gibbons. highest dignitary of
the Roman Catholic Church OF America
yesterday presided over the confrna-
ton Of one OF the largest classes ever
received into the Church of the Holy
Name Of this city.
In the class were zl5 members. Amid
the strains OF solemn music the fair
young girls approached the seat Of the
dignitary OF the church and received
his blessing IN the placing OF his hand
on Ialr and devout heads. The Rev
Father Buttin, G :. NJ, assisted BY the
Rev. Father Stickney, celebrated the
mass. at the conclusion OF which the
confirmation took place
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
BAKERS UNION ELECTS.

he Journeymen Bakers Beneficial
Union held its regular meeting at
Schwsrtz's Hall and elected the follow
ing officers:
President. W b. Chrisman; vice presi-
dent. George T. Hanold: recording sec.
rotary, John FRANKIE financial secre-
rary, i. II. Schulze. treasurer, Henry
Arnold, trustees. Christopher IsOeWen-
stein. Philip Meicher, John Grossart
George Fink, and August Fink
The Washington times., 1906-01-15

the hero. The schooIrna' IN ran 20 the
rescue. Said a tough 10 the hero:
Let him 90. or I'll smash your face
The sehooima'm got behind the drunk
and pulled cut a hatpin
GU make one move" said she TO the
tough and I'll run this into this drunk
ard. And nobody laughed
The jag carpenter was no longer gay
he was well frightened. and offered an
apology.
Let him CO." said the schooIma m
tain fell
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
MAN FATALLY INJURED
IN C0LLODIAN EXPLOSION

NEWARK. n. j.. Jan. 15.-Henry II,
Frey, fifty-One years old, Of 15I McWhor-
ter street, was fatally injured by an ex-
plosioh in the collodian building of the
Charles Cooper Chemical Works, in
ClnoIsi street. this morning. Two other
men who were in the building at the
time escaped with slight injuries. The
buildingaWas wrecked.
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
MUTUAL FIRE INSURANCE
ANNUAL ELECTION

The Policyholders OF the Mutual Fire
Insurance Company are today holding
their annual election. ana as there is no
contest the following board of managers
will be elected: George T. bearing.
William A H. Church. George c
Walker. r. Harrison Johnson. B. F
Saul. S. Z. G. Morsell. Frank h Burns
An amendment TO the bylaws chang
H.. the annuel election 10 the first Mon
day in February is also 10 be voted on
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
Natures Gentleman.

His clothes were coarse and his hands
were rough. but he was one OF Ma
lures gentlemen" With mighty strides
he approached the fuddled individual
who stood gawking after the lady.
Wretch" he Missed, as he caught
tho offender a mighty swipe across one
ear; Villain" as he swatted him lus-
thy on the other. Then he strobe down
the path. while the wretch. rubbing a
sore head slowly. picked himself up and
stood undecided for a moment Then
a mighty wave OF wrath swept over
him.
Revenge, I must have revenge" he
mutteTed. and wobbled after the hero.
He whackeG that Individual on the hack
OF the neck They ciinched and rolled
In the mud. The hero arose, shaking
the villain. TIE crowd, mostly bust
ness men. came. They wanted 20 pound
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
RABBITS FOOT PROVES
FATAL TO YOUNG WOMAN

WATERLOO. III. Jan. 15.-Aiss Rosa
Keane died in St Louis yesterday from
accidentally swallowing a rabbits foot,
The young woman, in great pain. called
a physician. TO whom she confessed that
she had swallowed The anti-hOodOo
Charms died IN a few hours The
body was brought home today.
The Verdict of the coroner in St. Louis
was death by accident.
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
PRETTY SCHOOLMA'M
HEROINE IN DRAMA
Teacher Uses Plump Lit
tie Fist With Tell
ing Effect.

IT all happened right within the do
mains of the majestic law, but. as usual.
the said majestic law had no visible
representative On hand. The school
ma IA was young, pretty (of couTse)
and attractiyeIy dressed. Being a ma
ture study enthusiast. she was standing
on the walk in the park, about p. m.
utterly engrossed by a beautiful fight
in active progress in a mob Of dear
little sparroWs. The giddy youth. who
he'd looked TOO Oft on the beer when
IL was yellow. was seized with bad
ease OF palpitation OF the cardium.
THmidly he approached the unseeing god
dess and spoke Ia her ear.
Are you going homer"
The Washington times., 1906-01-15
Up Against It.

The goddess glanced disdainfully over
her shoulder. She saw that he was
up against 1t. She held up her chin
a Ia Bernhardt and proceeded up the
walk with the gait OF a tragedy queen.
The youth followed. That's where he
made his mistake. He inquired again
as to her destination. Then he got an
answer.
You mind your business, young
man." came IN sweet accents. as the
divinity whirled about In a half circle
and a dainty little fist took the aston
ished hlasher on the mastoid process
just under the left ear. The bewiIdered
youth fell over a bench and the school
ma m. unrufiied, walked on. a we'll
dressed. respecta ble-looking citizen sat
on a bench and made no move. Then
the hero came on the scene.