The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-03-30
SPOILED HIS DINNER
WHY GENERAL CLARK ONCE REFUSED
TO EAT WITH VEST.

Sad Plight Of the Old Missouri Fight
er Under the skillful and Merciless
Batting Of the Artful and Tantalis.
ing Senator.
Among the most prominent story tell.
ers in Missouri annals were General
John B. Clark Of Wilson creek fame
and the matchless George Graham
Vest. The writer remembers story
Senator Vest used to tell about General
Clark that is worth while.
Vest and Clark were seated at a ia.
bic in popular restaurant in Wash
ington chatting about Missouri and
Missourians while the waiter was out
preparing their order for dinner. On
this particular occasion Vest was
doing most Of the listening, while
General Clark in his peculiar scrapy,
piping voice was discoursing upon the
merits and dement's, principally de-
merits, Of Missouri political leaders.
Those who knew General Clark well
during his lifetime undoubtedly re-
member with what extravaganza the
general could praise and laud those he
had liking for at the moment and
with what grim hurnor he could satir.
ize and ridicule the foibles and weak.
nesses Of those he happened to dislike.
It was these dispositions OIL the part of
the general that caused him to get into
trouble at this time.
Although Vest was listening atten-
lively and respectfully to the generals
converse ton, assisting him OH with his
story with a grunt Of approval now
and then, esen offering suggestions as
occasion would permit, yet all the
while the senator was casting his eyes
to the daily paper spread out upon the
table near him. The general, encour.
aged by Vests grunts and suggestions,
was working himself up to a striking
climax in ludicrous story about a
Missouri politician whom the general
for the moment had concluded he didn't
like, when he was abruptly Interrupted
by Senator Vests speaking as if he
had just discovered something in the
paper he had been glancing at.
"By the way, general" said Vest. lido
you know one Captain - -" 1--WE
will call him Captain John Smith" for
the purpose of this story, down in
Missouri
EYES," snapped the general, showing
some irritation at having his story in
terrupted right in the very flower of it's
growth, certainly know him, and
dirtier coward never walked the face
of the earth than this same Captain
John Smith"
This little fling at Captain Smith was
q left handed stroke at Vest for inter-
rupting his (Clark's) story, as Vest had
planned and expected it would be.
However, the general showed a dispo-
sition to let it all go at this and at
tempted to resume his fractured story
about the Missouri politician.
"As l was saying
"Well," Vest interrupted again, not
pretending to notice that the general
had attempted to resume his story, 81
don't know anything about the fellow
being a coward. In fact, I know moth
ing about him. But I knew you did,
and 1 thought would get you to tell
me something about him.
''Of course I know him, Vest" the
general responded, pitching his scrapy
voice in little higher key, land have
already said enough about him to cause
any genuine Missourian to lose interest
in him. There is nothing to him, I tell
you, except yellow streak from the
crown Of his head to the sole Of his
feet, a forked streak. Know him! Why,
I know him like book. He's a COW.
ard, tell you, and that's enough for
any Missourian to know about any
body. Why, 1 tell you that fellow is
afraid to go out in the cornfield where
they are gathering corn because the
popping of the breaking cornstalks
sounds so much like gunshot that it
frightens him nearly to death. Don't
talk to me, Vest, about Captain John
Smith. I know him.
81 didn't know him, general" Vest in
nocently responded, "but since you
have given such graphic description
Of his character feel that know him
better. Nevertheless, general, the fel-
low seems to write right good arti-
Gle"
'Humph!" snorted the general in dis
gust. I'D like to know what that fell
low could be writing about. Nobody
would believe a word he could say.
He's a coward, 1 tell you. know, for
I've had him in command under me,
and I've seen him flicker time and
again. Nobody will ever believe word
a coward will say, but what is the fel-
low trying to write about, Vest?'
''The Battle Of Wilson Creek" the
senator replied as he picked up the
paper and prepared to read the story
to the general. The senator knew he
had the general at the verge of the
precipice and that it was time to top
pie him over, and right well did he do
it.