Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-04-26
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Press

Tue WORTH Indl AlSeclraS WOuiu make
lovely name for sleeping car.-Mon-
| treaI Star
The spring gardening season makes
the suburban citizen wonder whether.
after all. the man with the muck rake
is not entitled to some sympathy
Washington Star.
Count Boni has found out he doesn't
want any American tainted money 1t
is Il pity that he Didn't make this dis
covery number Of years ago.-New
York Evening Sun.
Professor Garner announces that he
has now completely mastered the mon
key language He expects hereafter to
be able to move freely i'm fashionable
society.-New York Mail
With little more help from the in
duStrial concerns that are destroying
Niagara, any decent oculiSt in the State
Will be able to remove what is left of
the cataract.-New York Evening Mail.
Congressman who insist ON contirs
uing the Government seed distribution,
to be consistent, should also see that
their constituents are furnished free
hoes and garden rlkeS-Toledo (Ohio)
Blade.
Secretary of Agriculture Wilson says
there will be no more crop failures.
Evidently, the Secretary of Agricuitur.
and the head of the Weather Bureau
have been putting up Il iob.-Philadel-
phia Press.
President Roosevelt says that we are
in urgent need of Il better coast de
Tense. and everyone who has been up
against the summer rates ut the sea
shore will agree with him.-PhiladeI-
phia Telegraph.
Let the immigrants come. be they
Irish or German. or Swedes or Slavs,
Or Italians. just as long as they stay
out of the big cities and the sweatshops
and settle upon the public land to re-
claim it.-Santa Fe New Mexican.
Hyde and Alexander. late of the
Equitable, have been dropped from the
directorate of one Of the branches of
Al
two Jonahs go overheard before the
storm Philadelphia North
American.
Fifty millions of coast defenses looks
as if the role of the worlds peacemaker
were little dangerous. But. then. that
is only the way of the world. The fell
low who tries to settle the other fell
lows quarrel usually gets into Il mess
himself.-IIaverhill Gazette
The Government is about to with
draw the existing stock of postage
stamps and issue fresh ones that will
stick. 1t is about time for Uncle Sam
to take away the rcproach of that gum
which got many Il citizen into trouble
with the Recording Angel-New York
Evening Sun.
What did more than anything else to
portance in this community was the re-
fusal of the authorities to take him
with any great seriousness. He found
it hard to get into Jail. so hard that it
took the fight out of him.-New York
Evening Sun.
President Roosevelt's graphic picture
of the weekly decline of enthusiasm for
work among the laborers OH the Pan
anna canal suggests that Lambs sched-
ule of employment from II to l. with
an hour out for luncheon, would be
popular on the Isthmus.-New York
Evening Post
Many of the millionaires of the day
rose from poor uneducated boys. who
naturally adopted the phonetic mode of
spelling. 1t is possible the board to
reform the present mode will adopt the
phonetic system to help the great mon
eyed men out of their trouble.-Fred
ericksburg (Ya.) Star.
Some of the life insurance companies
prided themselves so much on teaching
a policy holder habits of economy that
they held on to his dividends for fear
he might spend them. The directors
who were thus tempted into habits Gf
extravaganza are. presumably. TO be re
garded as martyrs. Washington Star.
A colored woman of Baltimore. 100
years old. has distinct recollection of
General Lafaye, : tour of this coun-
try. This event seems to have been
stored up in the memory of all old PEG
pie 1t is observable of late. however.
that the coacmen of George Washing
ton are getting very Scarce.-Rochester
Union.
The most successful man is usually
the most carewoln. and. therefore, the
most unhappy. A tramp has no cares
at all, and in the opinion of some phil
osophers the tramp approaches very
near happiness Every healthy man
once in while feels like going to
Japan to bask in the smiles of the gel
shas-dropping duties and throwing
dull care to the lotus winds.-Portland
OregOnian
large percentage of the population
of the Isle of Guam are reported TO be
afflicted with gangrosa Il tropical dis
ease more repulsive than leprOsy, which
destroys the face by slow liberation
anu is HlSnly Contiguous VI tOHliIuH1-
cable. The American Governor-Gener1f
of Guam recommends hospitals for the
isolation of the disease, which recon-
mendation has been approved by the
SUPERINTENDENT of the Navy. This is
a part of ''the white mans BURDEN
Atlanta Constitution.
Mark Twain hopes there may be no
cars or grand dukes in heaven Evil
IDENTIFY Mark expects to 90 there himself
some day.-ChicagO Record-Herald
The Democratic city executive commit
tee of Kansas Cisy. Kan. renomnated
Mayor w. W. Rosr in defiance of the
order of the State Supreme Court. which
ruled that Rose could not again serve IN
til after the present term expires in 1907.