The Washington herald., 1906-12-06

Ma called me 10 her day befor, yester-
day and sed she wanted me to leip her
do something.
She had a Peece OF pencil in her hand
that was about a inch long and looked as
II she had chewed it 20 sharpen it. and
she had a lot OF notes made on the back
OF bin from the dressmaker.
Henry, she said. I am puzzled 10 deth
to kno what 20 Civ your pa and your IN
kel Wiliyum for Christmas I do wish
you would kind Of pump them and see
what they would like to hav, and then
tell me. without giving it away to them
what you are trying to find out
All right. ma. told her, and tried TO
get peek at her list 10 see if she had me
down for the maggiezine revolver + want.
but she folded up the paper and put it
away.
SO that night when pa and UnkeI Bill
was sitting in the llbrarey taIkin about
the way senator Tillman had better look
out or be viii be playing in a dramma
that has a press agent, or else he will be
crackin black snake whip around in
Unkel Toms Cabin. asst pa what he
thot was the right kind Of Christmas
present
You otto be satisfied with what you
get. my yung man. he sed, without com
ing around and hiutin
aint hintln, I told him. I just Won
dered what your idee would be about one
for yourself
Crate Scott, he sed. Has it come 10
this? Il is bad enuff to hafto fork over
for the fool things yUre ma buys for me
without hayin to pay for something you
get for me.
j don't want 10 get you anything. j sed.
] just want 10 get yure idee about what
you want
Unkel Bill spoke up and sed most men
could tell what they wanted better by
teIlin what they don't want
What would you like to hav, unkel Bill?
I asst him.
Well now. he sed. thare is lots Of
things would be glad to see in my
st0ckin on Christmas morning il 1 was
a woman of course i would yern for
dimund bracelets and necklaces and rings
and gold wotches that could pin on me
somewhere WHARF a pickpocket could get
them without pickin my pocket Thare
never was a pickpocket that could pick a
wornans pocket, kept one that lived in
MOO York, and he had been marrid forty
times. and he confessed that the reeson
he got marrid so menny times was just
becOs he wanted 10 lurn WHARF a woman
keeps her pocket. it was a matter of
professional pride with him, becOs he sed
thaTe was no profit in pickin a wOmans
pocket when all you got was a bunch of
samples and a button hook and a powder
rag and betwene thirty and forty sents.
But don't see what pickin pockets has
to do with Christmas presents, [ sed.
You waite till you git marrid, pa spoke
up reel quick.
Finely pa and Unke BIZ thay got me
TO tell them about ma astin me TO find
out what they wanted, and then they
lafTed and lafIed, and Unkel Bill sed it
was refreshin indication of the change
that was takin place when a woman even
thought Of thinkin about what you want
ed He sed thay usually went ahed and
got what they wanted you to want.
You tell your ma, pa sed, that as neer
as you can lern what j want is more hair
on my he'd. my wisdum tooth filed. and
TOkkin chares that won't bump into with
my legs when J get UP in the mOrnin.
And If she asts YOU what i want. unkel
Bill sed. you tell her that am nODcOm-
initial to a degree. but that you think /
would prefer a Jobacko pouch that has
sashay powder inside the lining. a collar
and cuff box with pink satin inside of 1t.
a cigar cutter that i can hang on my
watch chane whenever | want TO feel
pertickerly ashamed Of myself. a silver
handled pensil that she can borrow frum
me the day after Christmas and never
Civ back 70 me. and a snokin set made
out Of hBmmerd brass that can sell to
somebuddy for finger bowls.
That's rite, pa sed.
But the best Christmas present for a
man, unkel Bill sed. is to pick out a fifty
dollar present for him, that he would
hafto pay for when the bill comes in. and
then not get It, WILBUR NESBIT
Copyright 1906, BY w d. Nesbit)