davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-03-24

I once heard wise woman give
young girl the following piece of ad-
vice:
''Do not waste your time on lazy
man or one who cannot keep job"
That was excellent advice, girls, and
every one of you would do well to bear
it in mind. You have all seen women
whose lives were ruined by being tied
to lazy, shiftless husbands. You have
seen the misery of homes where the
head of the house was good for moth
ing, who could not be relied on to pro-
vide the barest necessities. You have
also seen the home where there was
extravaganza when the father worked
and, poverty when he didn't.
The woman married to man OF that
stamp never knows where she stands.
Her nerves are constantly on the rack.
She knows that no matter how good
her husbands job may be he will lose
it through incompetence or change
ableness on his part. So you see
girls, it is of the utmost importance
to your future happiness that you do
not throw yourselves away on men
of either of these types. Every man,
whether be he rich or poor, should
have some work to do.
The idle man is of no use to any
body. He might just as well not
exist as far as his usefulness goes; in
fact, it would be better if he did not,
as he sets bad example to other
men. You know the proverb that
"Satan finds some mischief still TOR
idle hands to do"
The ordinary, every day lazy man
that we come in contact with has no
money to back his laziness. When
he marries his wife has to support
him. He probably makes love very
we'll. Why shouldn't he-he has moth
ing else to do. Keep away from him
girls, no matter how cajoling his tale
Of love may be. There are better
things in life for you than marriage
to a shiftless, good for nothing man.
The fact of man wanting to spend
all his money on you is no sign that
he will make good husband. It
would be far better if he saved his
money with view toward fastening
the day when he might ask you to
share his fortunes.
The important qualities to look for
in man are sobriety, industry and
gentleness. The man who has all
three is sure to make good hus-
band.
Don't waste your time on men who
lack them, for no woman will be hap
by with man lacking any one OF the
three.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-03-24
PRIZE Does MAHUFACrURED.


The spurious dog dealer keeps
sharp eye on all the members of the
canine species as he walks about; he
is prepared to buy likely animal
for IS. or rs 3d., if he can get it for
or without the asking, says PS0yson's
Weekly.
There are plenty of dogs about and
pug or a black and tan can be
bought cheaply enough, but those are
not really good animals. The right
kind of a dog is scarce and fetches a
high price; this is the dog faker's
opportunity and he makes good use
of it.
Here is an example of the method
of working The dealer has pug
dog of kind that is not wortha doz-
en- sbillings the dealer has literally
picked it up for nothing 1t has
a splendid black nose, but it lacks,
the line down the back that would
make it valuable. This fatal and ap-
parently insurmountable obstacle pre-
sents no difficulty to the dealer, who
cheerfully and skilfully sets to works
to make that dog worth &Io or so.
The unfortunate creature is fixed
tightly in wooden box or framework.
At the top there is slit in the wood
of the same dimensions as the line
that it wanted on the dogs back. A
powerful dye is laid on through this
slit and then it fixed" to use pho
tographic term.
This last process is done with nj
trio acid and those who have had to
deal with that chemical will not need
to be told that the animal suffers great
pain for three or four days. When
the victim of the taking process has
recovered its appearance is SO chang
ed that it is doubtful if its own moth
er would recognize it.
Exactly how long the deception
would remain undetected depends
upon the thoroughness or otherwise
with which the transformation work
has been done. The dye lasts long
time, but it does wear off ultimately.
Perhaps the most curious method
of altering dogs appearance is that
of sewing another skin over the ori
ginal covering The Chinese are re-
puted to be past masters in this art
and to have practised it for the pur
pose of getting diamonds out Of the
Kimberly mines. A valuable dog
has, we will assume. just died its
skin is taken and, after a slight pre-
paration, is sewed round another
dog.
This double skinned animal is sold
to lady fond of the particular kind
of creature which this dog now i'm
personates, and the dealer has donea
good thing. In human beings a
''thick skin" is supposed to render
the owner more comfortable, but the
artifcialIy thick skinned canine is
distinctly uncomfortable in its new
garb.
A lady who had bought dog ike
that and had given it a bountiful sup
ply of food was greatly worried on
seeing the creature lie down and give
vent to expressions of pain. A vet,
hurriedly summoned to examine the
animal, Mortified the kindly dame by
unceremonioasly ripping up the dogs
skin with his pocketknife.
1t was not such dreadful deed as
it appeared in fact, it was only like
the schoolboy unbuttoning his waist
coat after a good dinner. The extra
wrapping was so tight that it did not
allow far natural expansion. The
dog was poor cur not worth having
when denuded of its false skin.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-03-24
WORDS OF LINCOLN.

1--WE cannot escape history"
"Revolutionize through the ballot
box"
LET none falter who thinks he is
right.
"It is no pleasure for me to triumph
over anyone"
"I do not impugn the motives of
anyone opposed to me-"
"Come what will, will keep my
faith with friend or foe."
81 have not willingly planted a
thorn in any mans BOSOM"
"All that 1 am, all that hope to
be, owe to my angel mother"
"There is no grievance that is a fit
object of redress by mob law" ]"
"Suspicion and jealousy never did
help any man in any situation"
"God must like common people or
he would not have made so many OF
them"
"For thirty years 1 have been a
temperance man, and / am too old to
change.
mo where in the world is present
ed government of so much liberty
and equality"
"Gold is good in its place, but living
brave and patriotic men arebetter than
gold"
"This government must be preser-
ed in spite of the act of any man or
set of men,"
Stand with anybody that stands
right. Stand with him while he is
right and part with him when be goes
wrong"
LET US have faith, that right makes
might and, in that faith, let us to the
end dare to do our duty as we un-
derstand it"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-03-24
NOT THE DIPLOMA THAT MAKES TIE
DOCTOR.

"When used to be ailing-had
spring fever, say or some such paltry
complaint" philosoruminatingly said
the Old Codger, "I'd send for young
DR.. Smart, whose Office hours were
from 9 to II and from to 4 80 and
he'd come snip-step-sping, dogskin
gloved and eyeglassed and give me
little something late and scientific,
and say considerable about therapeu
tics and auto suggestion and santa
tion, and all such, and shut his med
icine case with a conclusive snap, and
withal cure me, and send his bill
around promptly on the first.
"But when was really sick, when
was down and under and weakly
.scrabbing for straws and ug-gugging
for dear life 1 always sent for old
Dillsbury, who didn't have an Office
hour to his name, but would come
boging along any time day or night
no matter how deep the snow was or
if it was raining pitchforks with the
tines down, and flop down his saddle
bags, faithful relics of the days when
he couldn't afford buggy and travel
ed on horseback, and grin at me like
an amiable hyena and gimme dose
that would lift my hair. And away
along towards morning, when I'd
wake up feeling better, I'dsee pudgy
old Doc bumped over fast asleep in
the red rocker, where he had sat all
night waiting to see what the medi-
cine would do to me. When I'd speak
he'd jump wide awake and kinda grin
and say that he didn't know as it
was really worth while to try to save
such trif1ing reprobate, anyhow,
but he'd got the habit and couldn't
quit. And likely as not, he'd forget
to send the bill at all.
"Well, nowadays employ DIR.
Smart alone. b'cuz old Doc Pillsbury
has gone to get his pay where all
debts are liquidated in full with the
surplus running over into the saucer.
1t was storming like all fury that
night, so I presume old Doc didn't
feel at all surprised when the last call
and-well, anyhow, Dr. Smart amt
as nippy as he used to be and
wears mittens in cold weather now
and is getting gray, and has no office
hours any more, and is generally
called Doc by us who are best &C.
quainted with him, and is talking less
about therapeutics and giving us
good deal bigger doses than he used
to.
"Eh-yah 1t amt the Office hours
or the Latin on tine diploma, but the
Doc and his faithful answering self
sacrifice that's the doctor, after all"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-03-24
A DEFINITION.

Jones-Say Jim, Jennie is daft to run
down to Palm Beach for couple of
weeks. What is it like down there,
anyhow?
James-Well, I'll tell you. It's
the kind of a place where you get up
in the morning and dress for break
fact. Then you walk round for an
hour and look at what the other guys
dressed for breakfast in. Then you
90 up and dress for golf and go over
to the links and look at the golf
suits. Then you go up and dress for
lunch, and after lunch you walk
around for an hour and look at what
the other guys wore tolunch. Then
you take nap till it's time to dress
for dinner and after dinner you walk
around for an hour and look at what
all the other guys wore to dinner,
and then you go to bed and wish to
heaven you were somewhere else.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-03-24
A HoMRsrcK BOY.

I'm visitfn' at Aunt Maria's.
And I'm hOmesick as / can be;
It's sawdust and shavin's for breakfast.
And shavin's and sawdust for tea
She says it amt sawdust nor shavin's.
But some kind o. nu- triment food;
Anyway. 'tain't pie nor dOughnute,
Nor fritters, nor anything good!
She never has jam or cookies.
She says they are awful for me;
We eat 'em like sixty to our house,
And we're all OF us healthier'n she
She won't let me have any sugar
Because it will give me the gout;
And meat / can't swallow mite of
Till I've chawed it an hour about!
Didn't know that had any liver,
Cause. you see, was never sick much,
But I'm hungry for all can think of
'Cept sawdust and shavin's and such.
Oh, want to see Ma and Louisa
And Grandma and my old ball
But guess I'm homesicker for doughnuts
Than anything else at all
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-03-24

Now's the time, girls, to bring out
your old fashioned bracelets with
cameo tops. Make your mothers give
one more look through the half for
gotten treasure boxes and see if they
can unearth one.
If so, you have just the very latest
notion in adornment. 1 saw one
Sunday that girl was wearing, set
in the qaint fashion Of half a century
ago, Just such one as you will see
in the portraits Of the bellies of "just
before the war.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-03-24
GOT A BETTER ONE.

The farmerish looking man had
dropped into the bookstore to ask for
a certain school book, and the clerk
took him for an easy one to work and
softly inquired:
"May ask if you are Republi
can in politics 7"
Always have been," was the re-
ply.
"Then I wish to call your atten-
ton to this book. 1t is biography
of Theodore Roosevelt, and is going
off like hot cakes. Contains all his
adventures from the time he was born
to his last hunt in Colorado"
"No, I guess don't care for it, "
was the reply.
you'll find it very interesting.
"But I've read of all his adventures
in the papers"
mot all of them, 1 think"
well, one or two might have been
left out, but do you know l don't
think he was such very brave boy
when he was young"
"You don't? Why, who could be
braver p
my son Bill. Do you know what
he did the other morning when the
weather was at zero? Went right
out and touched his tongue to the ak,
and if you'll show me where and
when our President did that in his
boyhood I'll buy half dozen of his
books of you. Yes, sir; touched his
tongue to a frosty ak, and it took
more'n gallon of hot water to loosen
it, and you just keep your eye on Bill
and see if he don't make this old
world hum before he is 80 years old -
Joe Ke,r.
"I'M DONE with the East said
Skinner. ''I'm going out to the wild
and woolly West. That's the only
place for hustler like me-"
"Yes," remarked Cutting, that's
the place where man like you gets
| Dhof he -
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-03-24

"HENRY, if were a young man
like you and expected to have to make
my own way in the world some day
should try to make my expenses come
within my income.
"Father, if 1 were as rich as you
are and had only one son I'd try to
bring his income up to his expenses. "
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-03-24

If YOUR mothers mother was my
mothers sisters aunt, what relation
would your great grandfather's
uncle's nephew be to my older
brotber's first cousins SON in-law!
Answer As your mothers mother
is to my elder brothers cousins SON.
in-law, so is my mothers sister'saunt
to your great grandfather's uncle's
er by my elder brothers. first cousins
son in law, and your great-grandfath-
er's uncle's nephew and either addor
subtract-we forget which-and you
will have the answer-in the spring.
"HE carved out his own fortune. -
Nonsense He married il"
"Well, he had to cut ont lot of
other fellows, didn't he u
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-03-24

"SMoorHBoY got his new mining
scheme on its feet in week.
"Worked wonders, eh I"
s'No, worked suckers. !"
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1906-08-31
For Speaker of the House.

Vermillion Republican: In our
new names appear this week, ,-one of
them being that of Hon. M. J. Chan
ey of Wakonda for representative in
the Legislature. 1t is good name, a
strong name, a popular name. Mr..
CLANCY is gentleman of large busi
ness experience, and of large public
experience as we'll. In municipal
affairs he has long been q prominent
leader, and in legislative achievement
he is justly rated as one of the most
judicious and influential citizens Of
the State. He has already served
our people in the House Of Represent
itives for two terms, and his record
as a legislator is both clear and COM
as one of the half-dozen leaders in the
lower branch Of the legislative assem-
bly,, and many of his associates in
that body to-day regard him as the
coming man for Speaker of the next
House-in case he is returned by the
constituency he so signally has honor
ed as their representative during the
past four years. The folmal an
nouncement of his candidacy places
the probable chance for this distinc-
tion in their hands. The confering
Of the speakership upon one of our
representatives would be great
honor for Clay County and the act
would be of immense value to Clay
County's interests and institutions.
The Republicans of this county may
virtually have it within their power
to name the next Speaker of the
House by nominating and electing
Mr.. CLANCY as one of their Represent
atives. OF Mr.. Chaney's many excel
lencies and characteristics as citi-
zen and publicist, it is needless for
us to speak: the record of his fifteen
years residence in our county Is as
an open book--known and we be-
lieve approved by all.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1906-08-31
Saving the Straw.

Iowa Homestead: Enough thresh-
ing has already been done in the corn
belt to indicate that there is likely
to be an immense amount of straw
| wasted during the coming year.
Since the introduction of the modern
stacker, the practice of hand stack
ing has almost become thing of the
past. AS result you will find rot
heaps dotted here and there through
out the central west.
We are willing to give the new
stackers all the credit that is due
them, and believe that their intro
duction is a real benefit to grain
growers. 1t is not their fault If men
do not use them wisely. Our exper-
ience is that two good men, where a
blower is used, can put a straw stack
in such shape that it will turn water
until the straw is used, providing it
is not kept over another year.
Because straw has little CONNER
cial value out on the farm is no in
dication that it is not valuable to the
farm itself. The reason why farm
er cannot dispose of his straw for
anything like reasonable cash price
is that its bulkiness interferes with
shipping. Pressing, of course, partly
solves the problem, but this means
labor, and labor is high.
While there is much less straw
wasted now than when the country
was new, yet there is too much
wasted still. 1t can be put to such
excellent use in bedding down yards
and stables during the fall and win
ter months that it is surprising to
see how sparingly it is used. 1t takes
labor, of course, to put it where it is
wanted, but the additional comfort
of animals that are we'll bedded con-
tributes to the thrift, so that there
is this value added to it's manurial
value.
AS an absorbent to be used around
stables it is ideal, and as liquid ma
nure is always rich in fertility ele-
ments it pays to save it. If you will
think the matter over, you will find
that the man who utilizes all his
straw around his stables and yards
year after year is the individual who
is growing large crops.
1t is specially important that plen-
ty of straw be used around hog quar-
ters, notably fattening hogs. If this
is not done, one can scarcely expect
to get much benefit from the manur-
ial standpoint from the feed con-
sumed by hogs.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1906-08-31
CantOn's Electric Power.

Mr. r. G. Beardsley, a noted hydra
lie engineer Of Cleveland, Ohio, has
been at Canton looking over the Be-
lott dam and making estimates of
water power and the cost of a new
steel-concrete gravity dam. He re-
turned to Charles City, Iowa, Sun
day, where he is erecting new dam
across the Cedar river.
Over two hundred horse power can
be secured when modern dam and
modern machinery can be utilized in
the transmission of power to Can ton.
Mr.. Beardsley finds from careful
examination that a steel dam can be
easily constructed and that Canton
can secure valuable electric power,
enough to run all the machinery in
town and two or three manufacture
ing plants besides. ...a.
When this valuable power is avail
able Canton should see that it is ap-
piled for commercial purposes, and
we believe one or two manufacturing
plants are already assured.
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1906-08-31
Snake Cure for Drunkards.

BY placing live snake in a water
Jug fellow harvest hands made a raw
ing maniac of Peter DeuSer on the
farm of Jacob Andover, near Water
vile, Wash.
Deuser has been in America but
three months. He left Germany
under the effects of liquor, according
to his explanation, and he has been
trying to drown his disappointment
ever since. He has been drinking
heavily and was Just recovering from
the effects of spree when friends
conceived the idea that to place a
snake in the water jug used by Deus
er might bring about a reformation.
A harmless reptile was captured and
deposited in the jug. Peters thirst
caused him to seek the jug in a short
time and the practical jokers watch
ed his actions with great interest.
He removed the cork and had the jug
within two inches of his lips when
the head of the reptile emerged.
This was more than Deuser's over
wrought nerves could stand. With a
Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1906-08-31
Epigrans From Speech OF Sena-
tor Beveridge in Maine.

The Sherman antitrust law has
shown more vitality during the pre-
sidency of Theodore Roosevelt than
since its enactment.
There is no man, no corporation, no
combination, however vast it's wealth,
however established and apparently
irresistible it's power that does not
today stand in awe Of the nation S
laws. TO Theodore Roosevelt a law
breaker Is a law-breaker, even though
he wears the crown Of the world S
finance.
This moral regeneration Of Ameri-
can business has not injured the
country's commerce at home and
abroad, caused no panic, killed no
honest enterprise.
Law enforcement and necessary re-
form are good horses to pull the farm
er'S plow.
Give labor employment and 1t will
take care of itself and the nation
and this is a nation of workers.
Empty pockets and falling prices
are cause and effect. Republican ad-
ministration and the peoples pockets
filled are also cause and effect.
The administration, not the tariff
exclusively, is the issue in this cam
paign.
The people must eat even when de-
mOcracy reigns and ruins, and they
have even saved almost enough under
republican rule to keep them from
starvation during a democratic ad-
ministration.
The railway rate law will correct
many of the evils of railway transpor-
tation. If 1t does not correct them
all the law will be amended by each
succeeding congress until every wrong
and every evil of railway transporta-
tion has been eliminated. The rail
ways exist for the nation, not the
nation for the railways.
The American people want no
skull-and bones prosperity. We want
the prosperity which fills the pockets
Of the business man, and satisfies his
conscience as we'll. Out with poisons
in our food, and in our business, too.
Honest business does not thrive on
anarchy and disregard of law is an
archy. Prosperity is not the child Of
corruption and fraud. If business
depression ever comes it will be caus-
ed by other forces than law and JUS
tice. The court house is not the
enemy of the counting house. Only
wrongdoers need fear the law.