New-York tribune., 1906-11-09
cIycrNyATUS OF THE ROLLING PIN.

CIgCINNATCS OF THE ROLLING PIN.
The road to a mans heart is through his
stomach is a saying as old. perhaps as any
observation of man upon his weaknesses, but
we had always supposed ii 10 be true only Of
an amatory byway travelled by members of the
fair sex It's possibilities as a political prov
erb have just received an illustration. In ap-
preaching the heart via the stomach we are
TO have, II seems, equality of the sexes. The
superior no longer monopOlizes that easy
road TO the citadel OF mans affections. These
reflections are occasoned by the success Of
Julius Hauser, the baker of Sayville Long ISL
and. apparently elected State Treasurer On the
Democratic ticket. We ourselves had not been
aware Of Mr.. Hauser's attractions for the cleo
torate; the fame of his cakes and pies had not
reached US, but we feel sure that the public
generally must have known him and loved him
as only a good cook deserves 10 be loved for
how else should he have run ahead of all the
rest Of his ticket? The rewards of capital and
labor are not always apportioned according to
the popular notion Of the lot Of those two forces.
Mr.. Hearst was the capitalist OF this campaign.
Mr.. Hauser the laborer Mr. Hearst fur
nished the lemons and the dough. Mr.. Hauser
baked the pies. And you see what Mr.. Hearst
got and what Mr.. Hauser.
Well good cook-and we take 1t that Mr..
Hauser is good cook or he would never have
risen so high, for, though virtue is Its own
reward, II is not its only reward-a good cook
is worthy Of his place in human hearts. He who
keeps his fellow citizens eupeptic keeps their
hearts right and their heads right, and they
cannot go far wrong under his ministry and
suppeditation. From the very habits Of his life
he is jealous OF leanness and looks with q self
approving eye upon fat and we may trust him
to keep the public purse plethoric.
The picture of Mr.. Hauser hearing the cleo
ton returns, his arms plunged in his -four bar
rel, is full Of significance OF the vitality Of our
democratic institutions. Ye skeptics who prate
Of perils, who sniff ruin from afar, who pause
from your lugubrious predictions to concede Us
only few years more of security on the merit
Of our defeat Of Hearst look upon Hauser and
stand confused and Confuted. There is democ-
racy simple and unspoiled beside Its barrel
but what a different barrel! With the election
over, the whteness symbolic OF purity anciently
supposed to be worn like mantle by every can
didate-indeed, the very word candidate comes
from whiteness-clings TO him vet. snowy un-
diminished, immaculate!
Cincinnatus, called from his rolling pin, is
keeping his eye on his -four barrels and his
hencoops; for on a former Election Day his
neighbors warmed his patriotism with bonfire
built Of his own property, while the genial
baker, unconscious Of the source Of the fuel de-
lighted IN the ascending flames. Twas a con-
sumption not devoutly TO be wished. The con-
summation also went wrong, for II turned out
that the fire was kindled because of mistaken
election figures. Clncinnatus fears now a like
consumption and a ike consummation.
Cincinnatus. How the noble content Of clas
sic names decays in this frivolous Jest hunting
age. We cannot call the rolling pin Treasurer
other than Cincinnatus because Of the historic
Justice OF the appellation, and we cannot call
him Cincinnatus without awakening a notion
among the majority, suspicious of gravity lest
there be Jest in 1t, that are making sport
Our dignlfed fathers thought otherwise. When
they beat their Revolutionary swords back into
ploughshares they gravely called themselves the
Order of the Cincinnati, after that grave Roman
of whom II might have ,een written:
None couldn't quicker pitch a ton
Nor draw furrer straighter;
and whose fellow citizens used often to inter-
rupt his spring ploughing to thrust public office
, upon him. But when to-day call a man Gin
cinnatus we are suspected of poking a little
kindly fun at him. The Roman ploughman has
gone the downward rhetorical way Of all the
classic heroes. Brutus-who says EFT III,
BruteE" unless IN jest? Gracchus-why, we
heard Hearst called Gracious IN this campaign! !!
Aristides the Just is byword for self
Righteousness. Only Cesar, "imperiOus Cesar,
dead and turned 10 clay retains his ancient
cold dignity Into the conduct of most of the
rest of Plutarch's heroes we mOderns have read
a certain pose and theatricalism which make
of their digni1ed historical figures semi-humor-
Gus figures of speech But we shall cling to
Cincinnatus. We shall revive him in his an
cient wOrshipful simplicity. We need him in a,l
his classic honor, for we have his counterpart
may we not say 1t with propriety. since he Is q