Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1906-12-14

Fut-R
Policeman Barney Flynn was griev-
onsly troubled by youth of the name
of Horatio Mann. Horatio was n we'll
meaning young fellow, but he had err
roneous ideas. He had read dime
novels until he had become imbued
with the idea that a detective is the
greatest of created beings, and it was
his ambition to be one. Hence his adj
miration for Flynn. He had heard
stories of the policeman's prowess, and
he haunted him. He wanted to know
all about his methods and his exploits,
and more than all else he wanted the
policeman to get him a position on the
force or with some detective agency.
81 know I'm just made for detec-
tive he said frequently. "All my in
clinations lie in that direction, and l
revel in mystery"
1t will be seen from this that Horatio
spoke reasonably correct English. In
deed, he had had fair education, the
only trouble being that it had not
worked in" However, as Policeman
Flynn once remarked, "a ma-an can
get book-larnin' amy time iv his life,
but t is not with sinse, FIR sinse do
be a nachral gift" Horatio had the
book-learning, but he lacked the
sense, and this 1t was that made him
so annoying to the policeman. He
could not be persuaded that the life
of detective was not one long ro-
nance, filled with disguises, thrilling
adventures and fabulous rewards. He
would make himself up in the most
wonderful and outlandish way, and
then drop in on Flynn to ask If that
would not fool the cleverest 'crook." ="
Later he amused himself by shadow
ing people in the neighborhood, and
writing out reports of his work"
which he submitted to Flynn for ap-
proval or criticism.
"Ye wa-ant me FIR to help ye to be a
daytictive?" said Policeman Flynn to
him one day. "Mm-m, well'-draw-
ing his hand over his chin in the old
familiar way-''Ill tell ye what I'll do
FIR ye. I'll give ye tn polls iXamina-
tion an see how ye come out IT is not
ye-er pla-an f'r to star-art in as a
pathrolman, iv coorse?"
"Oh, no." answered the youth. 81
feel that my talents are above that"
"'T is what l Supposed" said Po-
liceman Flynn. "Til' woods is full iv
la-ads like you. Some iv taim wa-ants
to be prisidint iv r-railroad, some iv
thin wa-ants to be editor iv a news
pa-aper, some iv thin wa-ants 70 be
gin'ral manager iv amy OF business
that's big enough, but most iv them
wa-ants to be day-tictives. Amy way
We put it, they can do betther than tn
fellies that's doin' tn work. now.
But t is shtrange thing to me that
| tn min that's maxim na-ames f'r Thin
silves at tn top is niver tn vans that
sta-arted in up there. Did ye iver
think iv that?"
moo, can't say that did," replied
the youth.
"Iv coorse not" said Policeman
Flynn, "an' ye w'u'd MT think tn
r-rule was f'r ye if ye did. IT is not
nicissary in ye-er ca-ase. Ye're too
sma-art. Well, mebbe So Well thry
1t on. livery la-ad that wants to be a
day-tictive has to be Examined, an I'll
put few QUESTIONS to ye. Suppose ye
was in cha-arge iv tn day-tictive
work. an a big burglary was COM
mitted, what w'ud ye do?"
"I'd look for clue" answered
Horatio, promptly and confidently.
81 can see ye doin it" asserted Pc.
liceman Flynn with a chuckle. Il car
| t,t IA rNln
loolSin' wise, an gettin down on ye-ei
knees FIR to ixamine a bit iv mut
through magnifyin' glass. an thiI
goin' out an measurin' tn thracks IL
tn mud with a fut-rule. / can heal
ye saying, This gr-reat crime was
committed be ma-an with large fu
an a nail shtickin' out iv wan shoe
IT is only nicissary now f'r to find tn
shoe an artist tn ma-an.' Ohio! ye't
ma-alte gr-reat day-tictiye, f'r sure
"Is not that what you'd do?" asket
Horatio.
"T'm not ta-alkin' iv what I'd do
returned Policeman Flynn. 'I'n
ta-alkin' iv what tn gr-reat day-tic
tive does. If ye was a r-real day-tic
tive an had this work. f'r to do, ye't
go to tn pla-ace an LUX wise, an thil
ye d go back an ordher tn dhrag-ne
put out. livery ma-an that c'u'd ha-ay
done it an lots that c'u'd MT w'u'd b
brought in an"
"Arrested?" interrupted Horatio.
"F'r sure" replied Policeman Flynn
"But what right would you have t
arrest people against whom you had N
evsdence?"
who's ta-alkin' iv rights?" retorte
Policeman Flynn. 'I'm ta-alkin iy Il