davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
GLOBE SIGHTS.


From the Atchison Globe.
How soon we learn that the average
mans bark is about all there is to
him.
An over-worked Woman's idea of a
good time is to sit in the dark and
rock, and rock, and rock.
There are some people who are such
gossips that if they talk in their sleep
it is about somebody.
Expecting a favor done in the past
to help you any is a good deal like re-
lying for assistance upon q ghost.
The only time a woman looks we'll
with her hair down her back is when
she is an actress and lets down wavy
wig.
What an offensive thing the other
mans memory is 1t recalls your age
and can't recall any Of your good deeds
If your feelings are easily hurt, and
YOU are popular, you are sensitive, but
If you are not popular, you are tOuchy
Things will never be just right for
the busy mother of home till the
doorknob style of doing up the hair. be
comes the thing.
When boy dies and his body is
laid out in the front room, it seems
strange that no one exclaims: Now
what is that boy doing in the parIor?'
We have always admired Bluebeard:
A man who could find room in a closet
to hang anything (even if it was q
wife) is a good deal smarter than most
meI--
Silver threads among the gold
sounds appealing. but it is a gold
switch that is still worn after the hair
on the head has turned silver that tries
love the hardest
It has been decided by the chaperons
that the right place for the napkin is
across the lap. But how about the men
who are so fat they have no lap?
Shouldn't there be a special dlspensa-
tiOn for themg
About six months after bride has
left her old home with her nose turned
scornfully up at the suggestion that she
take her old clothes, she comes hurry
ing back for them, and is mad If an
article is missing.
This much of an inherited trait re-
mains in every woman who is a mother:
If her children are going as far as ten
miles on the train, the spirit Of her
great grandmother tells her that the
train may be wrecked on the wild
prairie. and the children have nothing
to eat and perhaps viii starve to death
SO she packs a lunch basket that would
sustain them for q month if some
thing should happen.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
KANSAS cOMAEKT



The State Journal has remarked.
Since reading the message very likely
George W. Hanna is more Convinced
than ever that President Roosevelt is a
fairly good Populist'' And since read
ing the resolutions adopted with such
enthusiasm at Wichita and again by
unanimous vote by the state board of
agriculture, Mr.. Hanna. like thousands
of other old line Populists in Kansas,
will probably find himself perfectly at
home in the Kansas Civic league. Hon.
Edwin Taylor in supporting the parcels
post resolution last week, said that if
he "a Populist) had offered the resolu-
tion twelve years ago he would have
been drummed out Of the board of agri-
culture. Andy Shearer simply made this
comment: The world do move" The
indications are that If such men as ].
L. Bristow and Carr Taylor take up the
reins in Kansas party lines in the fall
of 1906 will scarcely be recognized.
There never was time when the voter
had as little use for the politician and
straddler as right now.-Clay Center
Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
The Pocketless Woman.

tell you pickpocket earns all he
gets il he is able to locate a woman S
purse nowadays" said the Broadway
car conductor
You'd be surprised to see the queer
places women extract their car fare
from, since fashion does not allow them
TO nave regular pockets in their skirts
any longer. They have to resort to all
sorts of lodges to stow away their be-
lOng1ngs- Sometimes their pOcketbOoks
come sliding out of a cuff that doesn't t
look big enough to hold a 10-cent piece.
Sometimes, after fumbling at their
Dlouses for while, a purse is produced
from the innermOst recesses; sometimes
II pops out of a glove. Hermann isn't
come TO. conJuring tricks.
But the woman who took the cake
IN this respect was one who got on my
car at South Ferry, one day last sum
mer, wearing one of those full pleated
SIX skirts. When 1 demanded her fare
she merely picked up the edge of her
skirt and began to feel carefully along
It's hem. If I hadn't had so many years
experience with women and the strange
places from which they dig their car
fare might have thought she was crazy
and sent in a call to Bellevue But I
suspected what she was up to. When.
however. she had gotten to the starting
point again and had begun on the second
round I began to get impatient.
rare, please, 1 repeated.
Y oung man., she replied. looking me
calmly IN the eye, I will give you the
fare when I find my pocket 1t is some
ed skirt-and the skirt is six yards
around. I missed 1t the first time, but
there's no hurry. I'm going to Harlem. .
New York Press.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
A school for railway ApprentIces

To raise the standard of efficiency. 10
Improve the service, the management of
the Grand Trunk system, after careful
consideration. determined to invoke the
law to bind boy to finish his appren-
ticeship before applying elsewhere for
employment as a machinist. This sys-
tenn Of indenturing apprentices has been
in operation on the Grand Trunk only
two years, but the results have been
beyond the most sanguine expectations.
The boys are taken on usually be-
tween the ages of IA and 18 years. A
percentage is kept of the daily rate, and
this together with a bonus, is paid to
each boy at the completion of his ap-
premiership.
Before entering the service the boys
have to pass examination on reading,
writing, spelling and arithmetic. also a
physical examina tion. In addition they
have to pass written and oral examina-
tions at the end of each year. which
examination includes drawing
which is graded according to the year.
it being more difficult with each exami-
nation Each set of examination papers
has to be approved by the master me-
tive power before the boy is granted his
increase in pay. Any apprentice failing
in his examfna tion is set back and Civ
en- a second trial, but falling in the Sec
Ond trial is discharged. In order to
give apprentices every advantage the
company has opened night schools for
boys.-Cy Warman, in The World To-
Day, for January.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
THE FACE oF ME- WHITE

Recently the Leavenworth Times is
sued this warning to its subscribers;
Look out for some heavy editorials
shortly We have pasted a picture of
the editor of the Emporia Gazette be-
fore our editorial desk for inspiria-
ton
The editor of the Gazette appears to
be doubtful about allowing such lib
critics to be taken with that frank and
open countenance of his, and he saws:
Whatever may be said of the face
of the editor of this paper-which, to
use typographical expression, is SO
point eXtended-it has never been
used for inspiration. It has been sue
cessfully used in cases of sluggish
liver; a number of gentlemen in EN-
poria whose circulation is impaired
used it successfully to start heart ac-
ton; it hushes the face: uuickens the
breath, Ioosens the vocabulary. in
creases the temperature It is a IA
miliar object at the note counter of the
bank every ninety days, and is good at
the various grocery stores around
town for thirty days credit As a face
it is not a startling success. 1t lacks
expression. Other faces have more in
them; this face has nothing but
features in it, and they are a Job lot
representing Grecian. Gothic and Irish
architecture. If the editor of the
Leavenworth Times gets any inspira-
ton out of that face he is welcome to
it, but he is likely to lose a lot of val
liable time trying. A better way would
be to take a slug of Leavenworth's s
justly celebrated and popular laughing
water with a dash of bitters and a jig
ger Of one thing and another in it.,
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

When a boy gets hold of a yellow
backed novel and goes off to the barn
loft to read it, there is great indignation
when he is found, and everyone tells
him his reading taste IS low and de-
graded But a book more evil than
Dead Eye Dick is sanctioned by So
ciety. 1t is ''Raffles.'' 'Raffles,' the
hero of the book, made his living by
robberies which he carried out with
skill He was never caught, and NOV
ed in the best society. The Topeka
school boy named Thrapp who masked
and attempted to hold up the doorkeep-
er and treasurer of a school entertain
ment, was a great admirer of "Ranles.'
He also read THE Amateur Cracks
man." a sequel to "Raffles.' and
tStingaree,'' another book of the same
class. Fathers and mothers have much
to do. and often it is such a struggle
to keep the children clothed and fed that
the training of their brains is lost sight
of in attending to their more material
wants. This is unfortunate, for the class
of reading INDUCED in by many of the
boys and girls of today can have but
one influence, and that is the most
harmful-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFronl the Chicago News.l

From the Chicago News.1
After he is so a man begins to boast
Of his ailments.
Work by any other name would be
just as unattractive.
Troubles are too often due to the lies
that come home to roost
The young husband thinks his bride a
queen until she attempts to rule.
A woman seldom estimates her hus-
bands excuses at their real value.
If the man you are talking to looks
al his watch it's time to shut up.
Even the man with an artistic tenn
permanent may porroW and forget to
pay.
If wise young man calls on a girl
and she requests ner little brother to
recite for him, the hint is quite sum
cient.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
IFrom the New York Press1

IFrom the New York Press
A man has lots Of friends till he needs
one.
One good thing about not having a rep
utation is you can't lose IT.
It would be awful hard to make your
self marry a girl that wore blooners.
The trouble with marrying money is,
after you spend it, you can't 90 on mar
rying more.
It's. queer what an improved literary
style the average man has when he isn't
writing TO his own wife
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
DEE coz BOOK.

There are no Weeping heroines. or
descriptions of gowns and sunsets in
'The Corn Book" with the girl in the
mans arms in the last chapter, but if
the man In real life will read it, and
act upon the suggestions contained. he
can soon afford to build a handsome
home on the finest farm in the country
for the heroine which is a little better
than the closing scene IN a novel. Sixty
bushels of corn per acre where only
thirty grew before, Is the plot in THE
Corn Book.'-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
HOW IL WORKED.

When the editor of the Mcpherson
Opinion heard that the railroad COM
nissioners had made a reduction in
the freight rates that would save him
about % cents on a ton of coal he
hied himself to the coal yard and or
dered a ton of the black diamonds but
came near dying of heart failure when
he was informed that coal had gone up
30 cents a ton at the mines.-Linds-
borg News.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

The usual size Of the shell of an
oyster is three to five inches, but
away back in tertiary times there
were oysters in California that had
shells thirteen inches wide. The ami
NAL and shell doubtless weigh ed fifteen
or twenty pounds. since the shells
were five inches thick. These oysters
have long been extinct, but their fossil
shells are abundant
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

confess. though as she was bidding him
good by a couple of hours later he held
her hand a trifle longer than is per-
mitted.
Won't you say that it was not alto
gether through gratitude that you put
in that personal % he urged.
The blue eyes fell before the glow IN
the ardent brown ones. "Perhaps-nor
altogether" she whispered. but that
is very purely personal Copyright,
1905, by Homer Sprague.)
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

Far and away stretched the waving
grasses and the low hills.
On and on wandered the little boy
He did not know where he was and
yet he did not weep.
He was very brave little lad and a
mere child withal, so that, although he
had lost his bearings, he was not
alarmed.
For did he not have his nice new rub
ber ball with hin2 And would it not be
fine to bounce it about over the hard,
smooth ground?
Selecting spot bare of grass he threw
the ball down with all his might.
But it lay lifeless just where it had
alighted.
Again the puzzled lad threw it down,
dead and inert exactly as it had fallen.
Then. as the fearful truth burst upon
the lad, he broke forth into walls of de-
spair. He was on the boundless prairiei
Judge.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

The late Bishop Eastburn of Nassa-
chusetts was a man of very imposing
appearance, and when robed in his
big sleeved canonicals gave the inn
preston of sailing under full canvas.
In the pulpit he had a habit of draw
ing himself up at intervals, with chest
raised and head thrown back, which
gave him a very pompous air.
A little boy Of Newburyport, not
fully Injured to long sermons. and
wearying under his heavy periods,
mildly suggested to his mother that he
would like to "cut the rest of it." but
she tried to beguile him with the as
surance that the good man was just
ready to stop, when he eagerly re-
piled: "Oh, no. mamma, he isn't,
cause he's just blowed hisself up
again Boston Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

What has become of the old-fashion-
ed man who carried a shot bag in his
pocket to keep change in?
Who wore barn door trousers?
Who kept d boOtjack to pull off his
boots2
Who had trousers lined with un-
bIeached muslin
Who wore a long linen duster while
travelling?
Who carried an old fiat carpetbag? !?
Who creased his boots on Sunday
Who wore a shawl?
Who wore a watch cord with watch
key fastened to it2
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

government is furthered more by lofty
craftsmanship than by crafty politics
and If Is interesting to observe that the
sentiment in favor Of Mr.. Nelson's can
d1dacY at this time comes from the
great masses of the people. If the peo-
pie send Frank Nelson to Washington,
Kansas viii have a senator who will
unite his work and influence with the
ablest statesmen of the day and upon
the Roosevelt platform of a square
deal.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

Commenting on a remark of the
Abilene Reflector that the recent
Wichita rate convention was fOr the
benefit of one or two men who wish
10 be United States senator the En-
poria Gazette says: There is no use
in being so cautious in this matter. 1t
IS not to the discredit of a man to de-
sire to 60 to the United states senate,
and it may be safely said that of the
BI7 delegates to the Wichita conven-
zion at least 51s are candidates for the
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

AS an English playwright has just
''come over to write a drama with
John D. Rockefeller as the central fig
ure. the Chicago Record Herald sug-
gests Hank Rogers as the low comedian.
But what parts viii be given Tom Law
son and Miss TarhelI2
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

A Topeka Kelly organ strenuously as
serts that the Morris report is just like
the Rowett report, and that it is fncom-
pIete and unsatisfactory. Then it goes
on to tel how pleased T. T. Kelly is
with the Morris report. Perhaps this
Kelly organ can also help explain Who
Cot the Money
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

Tom Kelly's friends are now explain
ing that "the Morris report is practical
ly a repetition of the Rowett report p
Exactly. And IL was the Rowett report
that compelled Kelly to put up his res
ignation in escrow, on the pretense that
the Rowett report was incorrect.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

Chicago had 453 suicides last year
while Greater New York with double
the population. had only 576. Which
indicates that people are even more
anxious to get away from Chicago than
they are from New York
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

What the notorious sam Lappin, the
treasury thief of 80 years ago lacked
was nerve. Had he only put up a good
blur and denied having the money when
st was traced to him he might have
been reelected to use the state money
as he pleased. Instead Lapp1n was ar
rested. locked up in Jail. and escaped a
term in the penitentiary by squirming
through a hole in the tail half as big
as his body and running off to South
America Now who do you think Cot
6he Money?
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
How He Would Stop a Runaway,

a retrrned traveller VINO spent half Of
his holiday in a tour of ireland brought
back a sample of the happy -go-luclzy wit
of the Irish ''jarvey,' or driver In a
breakneck race down a hill he suddenly
realized that the spirited little Irish mare
was running away.
Pull her upt' he shouted. excitedly;
jarvey. easily.
pull her up!'' again commanded the
traveller making a grab for the reins.
'fFor your life don't touch the reins,'
the jarvey answered, without Tightening
his grip. Sure. they're as rotten as
The traveller made ready to jump. but
the iarvey laid q soothing hand on his
shoulder.
ssSit easy" he said. reassuring. I'll
turn her into the river at the bridge be-
low here. Sure. thatH stop her. '-Reyn-
oIds' Newspaper.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

F. D. Coburn has been reelected Sec
retary of the state board of agriculture
and had it been otherwise there would
have been an able-hodied revolution
now on among the people Coburn is
just simply the best ever.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

Incidentally Uncle David Hefebower
IS doubtless just a little bit better sat
lsaed with the Morris report than is
that other Miami county statesman, the
Aolorable Thomas Todd Kelly.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

You don't hear of Tom Kelly offer
ing to pay it back any more If it is
proved on him. as he did when the
county commissioners of Miami county
accused him Of shortage. That Miami
county bluff cost Kelly over $1,000,
and he prefers to bluff it out after this
without putting up the money, no mat
ter how much is proved on him.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

Two Chicago men who achieved
great wealth and were more or less
noted. have recently died in New York
hotels. Yet what a vast difference
there was between the death of Chas.
II. Yerkes and that of Marshall Field!
yE7I7,-a
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

The State Journal IS a member OF the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report Of that great news or
sanl2atOn for exclusive evening publ
cation
The State Journal receives for exclusive
publication the leased wire report Of the
Publishers Press for the edition for sun
CAV morning.
The news is received in the state Jour
nal building over wires for this sole plir-
Dose,
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
STATESMEN AND OTHERS.

It is as difficult sometimes to judge
statesman by his campaign speeches as
an ordinary man by his New Years res
oIution-Washingt Star
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

Governor Pennypacker insists that he
never rode on a railroad pass. 1t appears
that the railroads have been more dis
eliminating than we supposed ash
ington Post.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

Mrs. Lease advises people not to
worry since she has become a mental
scientist The people did enough
worrying under the tutelege Cf Mrs.
Lease a. few years ago to last them a
generation or two, and most of them
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

It is hardly fair to condemn the
rest of the country for any deficiencies
in dramatic taste which may be ap-
parent in the metropolis. Paris is
France and London is England, but
New York is by no means America
Pittsburg Gazette.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
FRO4 OTHER PENS
rHnsE VIC NEED IT.

There is a lot of talk about football
substitutes these days, and yet the fell
lows who lost a chance to have an ear
chewed off by having to sit on the bench
are not clamoring for a change of rules
Indianapolis News.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

There may be helpful hint for
other executives in the foot-warmers
upon which Governor Pattison OF
Ohio stood for his Inauguration. Any
poker player can tell the peril of get
ting cold feet.-New York World.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
THE TNcOME.

H. II. Rogers seems to be OF the
opinion that man should not be too
inouisitive regarding the source of his
income as long as it comes regularly.
Omaha Bee.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

AS Napelon of finance, if Tom Law
son hasn't reached his st. Helena, he is
at least having an Elba of a time.-An-
aconda STANDARD.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
SPEAKING OF SKATING.

IT NAV be al right Tor a girl %
learn skating from q teacher in
correspondence school 500 miles away
but a young man with a strong right
arm right here at home is better
SomerVilIe Journal.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

From comments on the street in the
past As hours it is evident that a good
many people would like to change the
ballots they cast at the last election.
They have a pretty good idea Who Got
the Money
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

a good way to get yourself appointed
TO federal job is to have your enemies
make charges against you that they
cannot sustain.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

Tom Kelly feels that he is "vindi-
Gated again. of course. but the sus-
pIcion is stronger than ever that he got
f0e monev
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

After reading the Norris report calmly
and carefully and knowing that the
Rowett report is practically the same,
So your judgment Who Got the Money (?
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

Now that the president is a Red Man
very likely he Will go on the warpath
more than ever.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
IARREII, NOT WoRRTED.

One danger in a man getting rich is
that when he dies some strange woman
win declare herself to be his daughter
However, we are not worried any on
that account. being in the newspa per
business.-HoltOn Signal
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

service" money set aside by insurance
Cffcials as a yellow dog fund" Even
yellow dogs have some rights to protec-
ton against lbelous ASH
ington Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

Anyone that is opposed to the reforr
of football should interest the Unite
states senate in lt.-Detroit Free Pres:
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

Anyway Marshall Field is one mill
lfOnaire concerning whom no scandals
viz break loose I'm his hour Of death.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

What Chicago seems to need more
than municipal ownership is municipal
nrotectlon for It's citizens.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18
sTTDTNTS NEEDED.

Bows are wanted at AnnapOIls VINO
will study as hard as they haze
Birmingham Age-Herald-
The Topeka state journal., 1906-01-18

A Canadian bank defaulter has ab-
seconded and fled to this country. Turn
about is fair play.-Nashville Banner.