Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-26

Saying his little say;
Huntington's planning owl cars,
SO Is Billy Dunn
Everybody works for owl cars but
doc"
Hough-
ton
Whatever Tafts chances are, he
doesn't lose any weight worrying over
them.
Wash sales in stocks are probably to
give fellow chance for clean up.
Mr.. and Mrs. Baker of Omalra have
| just obtained their twelfth child. They
are still one shy of a bakers Dozen
A Dangerous Pastlme
one of our young men who does not
| like to see his name i'm print seriously
cut his toe yesterday while cutting
stove wood, says in the future he will
cut no more wood, as he always con-
sldered it dangerous pastime.-New
Bern IN. c. Journal.
Those reports of tainted ice cream
have come too late to do the summer
man any good.
When Anthony Comstock heard that
someone stole Bryan's clothes" he
had a fit till he learned that w. j. had
others.
Poppy-Why do you laugh in your
| sleeve?
Magnolia--That's where my funny
bone is.
An Oklahoma girl jerlked her head
back to avoid a kiss and broke her
neck. The moral Is obvious.
Kansas City wants to become a
water city. Ever drink Kansas City
booze? That's the answer.
| If the asphalt trust will pave the
way and the oil trust will grease the
| skids the corporations will be glad to
do their usual shelling out for their
Republican allies.
Drawing the Line
We have followed the plow, welded
the hoe, served time on the public roads
| under an austere overseer. swept the
back yard, worked the garden, churned
the butter, washed the dishes, nursed
the baby, and performed other various
and sundry disagreeable tasks in our
time without a murmur, but when 1t
comes to cleaning streets under three
lady bosses-excuse us, please. Three
women to boss you. Great Caesars
ghost! Just the thoughts Of such a
catastrophe is enough to give a man
| the "buck-ague." ."--Minden Ga) Signal
Last year the United States bought
$40, 100000 worth of diamonds-nearIy
enough to cover the thefts from ac-
| tresses.
Will all those coolies going to Pana-
ma lower the temperature there?
Mrs. Link Of st. Louis is suing for
divorce, alleging desertion. Case of
missing Link, eh?
Since his contribution for chorus girls
John d. walks with a limp
T. r., Spelling Master
I've licked the Spanish Dons unto a
standstill.
I've fought the senate and the house,
as well:
I've slain the bob-cat and the mountain
lion.
I've ridden bucking bronchos like all
I've run for president. and got there,
also;
I've made the railroads answer to my
bell:
I've regulated the supply of babies,
And now I'll tell the people how to
SPELL
1t is not through. it's thru:
1t is not laugh. it's laff;
1t is not shoe, it's shu;
1t is not half, it's haf;
1t is not cough, it's coff;
1t is not dough. it's do
Tt is not golf, it's goff;
Because-I say it's SOL
It is not spilled, it's split;
1t is not rough. it's ruff;
1t is not thrilled. it's thrift;
1t is not tough. it's tuff;
It is not Sioux. it's 500;
1t is not phiz, it's AZ;
Mt is not blew. it's blu;
Because-I say it is!
I've twisted all the trusts around my
fingers.
| I'VE made the packing houses white
as snow;
I'VE righted all the wrongs of all the
people;
If there's anything undone, why, /
don't know!
I've taught em how to educate their
families;
I've rules on marriage and divorce as
well.
TIL affairs of all the land I've regu-
lated
Now watch me tell the people how to
spell!
w H. G.
LOTTERIES IN ENGLAND
The story that a 100000 lottery
prize remains unclaimed in Paris must