The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-03-13

or July celebration. He - simply
been kept hoeing corn from January
10 December without a break to 60
fishing Or 80 q balloon ascension. He
was permitted 30 buy q fiddle and
scrape on IL solely tn hopes that he
might drive the mice and rats out OF
drink he now demands $14 per month
and board and washing as a hired
man. and. falling to get it, he will run
sway and become q cowboy or a
pirate. Even IL be gets 1t he wants
q Saturday holiday and every Sunday
evening 70 go and spark his girl.
MY dear friends. must I tell you
what follows? I feel that I must, but
II IS with an aching heart, and such.
OF you as are overcome by your feel
ings and are Obliged to go out doors
70 get your breath back will be sxcus-I
ed for the same.
That hard cider has got In its dend-
ish work. The son forgets that he is
a son-the father and mother that they
are parent and husband and wife. They
jaw, they wrangle. they call names.
they shake their fists under each 9TH
~ nose, and Satan stands there and
smiles and urges them on.
Suddenly the wife and mother
makes a grab for her husbands gray
locks, and the scrap Is on. There are
kicking and biting and hair pulling
between the three for a few minutes.
and then they separate for more muir
dsrous work. The wife remembers
that the butcher knife is lying on the
kitchen table where she left it after
siicing the pork for breakfast. The IA
Their remembers that the newly sharp
ened ak is at the door. and the son
brought the family crowbar downstairs
with him when he came. thinking 1t
might be required to poke the fire. Two
minutes later all are armed and dash
ing into the conflict, and there is a ha,
ha, ha! from Satan as the sharp steel
cuts and the crowbar bruises.
"Let us skip over a period of fifteen
minutes. The cat, who has lost her tail
from a blow of the ak, Is looking
around and wondering where it went.
Satan has seen his work complet-
ed there and has passed on to repeat
it at Farmer Jones. The father lies
here, the mother over there, the son
against the front door. All are dead.
It is needless to say hat none of them
died Of consumption or typhoid fever.
Upstairs there is a spectacle to make
a r~hinoceros shed tears; down cellar
that barrel of hard cider is still CUR
Cling and %chuckling and waiting for
fresh victims. It is not satisfied with
the three deaths, but is lying low for
the hired man when he comes home
from sparkling his Sarah Jane.
81 have presented you with a terrible
picture, but it Is one drawn from life
and can be depended on. Barrels Of
hard cider are snuggled away in hun
dreds of thousands of cellars, and each
and every q Of them is awaiting it's
victims.
Satan is going around the country
disguised as Uncle Rube and calling
at every house as he goes. You need
not go to the saloons and breweries OF
the towns to plant murder in your
hearts and bring tragedy into the fam
lily circle. You have simply to go down
cellar and turn the spigot of that cider
barrel. The insidious beverage will do
the rest.
There is sorrow in lager beer, grief
in claret, misfortune in old rye ana
tragedy in cOgnac, but when the hard
cider gurgleS look out for Satan and
murder.
"If you feel that you must have
something besides good we'll water, an
root beer fails to relieve that tired
feeling. then turn to Eutte-milk. IT new
err changes. As it was in TIE da-s OF
the prophets 50 it is now. 1t so0tl!es in
the morning. comforts in the afternoon
and lies down like Il lamb at night. 1t
may not increase the yield Of buck
wheat on the farm. but it will keep
peace in the family and leave the cat
to carry her full length Of tail until old
age and a natural death overtake her.
My friends. | am done. l have given
you so cents worth of lecture for half
that sum-. and as the distance to my
mex town is thirteen miles | have. got
to get an early start to be there in: time
for breakfast and to post my bills.
"If Z have given you newer and high
er ideas. | rejoice. If l failed to
convince you that it is your duty on
going home tonight to roll your barrels
of hard cider out where the cows and
calves can have q fair show at them,
then I am sorry and tender my humble
apologies for taking up an evening
which might have been spent in sorting
over potatoes or playing checkers"
NJ. QUAD.
Timid..