davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28
DlsFloURlNo SKIN HuMoR.
impossible TO Get Employment, AZ
Face and Body Were Covered With.

impossible to Get Employment, AZ
Face and Body Were Covered With
sores-cures by cuticura.
L Since the year 1894 have been
troubled with very bad casI of &C.
sema, which have spent hundreds
of dollars trying to cure, and went
to the hospital, but they failed to cure
me, and it was getting worse all the
time. Five weeks ago my wife bought
box of Cuticura Ointment, and one
cake Of Cuticura Soap, and 1 am
pleased to say that am now COM
pletely cured and well. It was impos.
sible for me to get employment. as
my face, head and body were covered
with 1t. The eczema first appeared
ON the top Of my head, and it had
worked all the way around down the
back of my neck and around to my
throat. down my body and around the
hips. 1t itched SO l would be obliged
to scratch it, and the flesh was raw.
am now all we'll, and will be
pleased to recommend the Cuticura
Remedies to all persons who wish a
speedy and permanent cure of skin
diseases" Thomas M. Rossiter, 29O
Prospect Street, East Orange, N. j.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28
RouTs sER FATHERS CARES.
Miss Helen Cannon, Devoted Dat glitter
and Amiabie Hostess

Miss Helen Cannon, Devoted Dat asttsr
and Amiabie Hostesa
One Of the most ar..iable of hostess.
es is Miss Helen Cannon, except when
she meets somebody who has had the
temerity to utter even a whisper
against scme public action of her
father, the speaker of the house. Oh!
the scorn that will be visited upon
that too-daring representative by I'm
Gle Joe's daughter. The speaker has
been widower for many years, and
his daughter has devoted herself to
his welfare. When he comes home
tagged out she knows just how to get
him in good trim, and no engagement,
however important, can make her
leave home If she thinks he is in
need of her care. Her principal meth
cd to Danish dull care is the game
of cribbage. The speaker loves the
game. and the more excited he be-
comes the more Miss Cannon rejoices
at that sure token he is forgetting his
cares. His wrath when she beats
him, she says, is the best tonic in the
world.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28
Proved Her a Fltrt.


Senator Penrose, at the dedication OF
Pennsylvania splendid capitol at
Harrisburg, said of certain speech
that had been made at private; din
ner before the dedicatory ceremonies:
"That speech was pregnant. with
meaning. 1t revealed in every SEN
tence its authors character. Brief
and full and Illuminating, it reminded
me of the beautiful young ladywho
mur,mured to herself one afternoon, a.
she paused uncertainty on a street
corner:
What bore! For the life of me 4
can't remember whether I'm to, meet
Morris on Tasker street, or Tasker OF
Morris street."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28
= orsse Outside i |, s \

Is; 0rsat Outside Rsmsdy. n: y;
sts Most pains are, 81 local origin !
scfick's 81 the back. . ,twinge Of rheu.
lnatism. 8 soreness N over arising
from . cold no all cnred w outside
epplicat lions. Tie quickest. safest and
most certain method u Allcock'a
Plaster. known the world over % d
universal remedy for pain. They never
iail. they act promptly. they arc clean
and cheap. You can 80 right ahead
With your work while the healing pro
cess goes on. Sixty years use has
given them . great reputation. s.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28
PATENTS.

List Of Patents Issued to Northwestern
Inventors.
Reported by Lothrop & johnson
patent lawyers, Oil Pioneer Press
building, st. Paul, MINI: Pehr Chris.
tiansson, Carlos, Mimi, marker for
corn planters; Edward L. Curial, An.
Okla, MINI, kitchen utensil; Louis De
Vaux!i Albert Lea, Mimi, refrigerator;
Ole G. Olsen, Waseca, Mimi, cap; AL.
bert Royden, Lengthy, Mimi, manure
carrier; Edwin G. Staude, Minneapolis,
Mimi, machine. for making flexible
boxes; David NJ. Swain, Saltwater,
Mimi, we'll construction.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28
lows .Imaf

Ye cnsr One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
e44e OF Gatarrh that cannot be cured BY Hairs
C1tarrh Cure.
F. j. CHENEY e. CO., Toledo, O.
We, the undersigned have known F. j. Cheney
for the last IS years and believe him perfectly hon.
6rsbe In all business transscttc::s AMI financially
ebe to carry out any obligations made by his firm.
WALDING, KINNAN e. MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists Toledo, q.
HANS Catarrh Cure ia taken Internally, acting
6Mettly upon the blood and mucous surfaces Of the
sy9fesh. Testimonials sent free. Price Is cents PEI
bet&e. SOLD by ell Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pulls for constipation.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28
Reversing Il.

The meek and lowly tramp mean.
dered up to the old farm gate and
asked for q raw turnip with which
to appease his hunger.
But the horny-handed son of toll
was onto his job. and all the hobo
got was rundown.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28
No Railway.

Perhaps you had some experience
in the old country" said Mrs. Hiram
Often, interviewing a greenhorn girl.
Now how were you trained across
the water?'
ooh, ma'am, tits jokin' We are" gig.
gled the girl. There's does be no
trains. was shipped across"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28
Cause for Action.

Brown-Newpop is suing his wife
for divorce.
Green-Because why?
Brown-Because she named the baby
tor her first husband.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

Some married women are so wea
they even allow their husbands t
keep part of their salaries.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

And the man who trusts in the Lord
never has occasion to cancel his mem
bership in don't worry" club.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28
Very Little.

Subbubs-Do l understand that your
new house has no back yard at all?"
Citiman-Well, you might call it a
"small-of-the-back yards"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

The average man no sooner gets oul
of trouble than he plunges into il
again.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

Unless man has plenty of sand, he
seldom leaves footprints on the sands
of time.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28
Fiauratively speakjn,

p V'0HAssvSty SPSdN1V9s
Greening-Baldwin says he has no
head for figures.
MISUNDERSTANDING not; but he
seems to have eyes for them, all right.
Greening-How's that?
Browning He invariably occupies q
front seat at bYrlesque shows.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAT
Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablets. Drue
giAs refund mODey II 1t fails to cure. =. "
GROVES signature Is on each box. Csc,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

TOP PRICES FOR HIDES. FURs AND
Pelts. Write for Circular No O. N. W.
Hide & Fur Co., Minneapolis. MINI.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

II You Need overshoes
You can get warmth and service by buy
ing Gold Seal" If your dealer does
not keep them send for prices to Good.
year Rubber Co., st. Paul. Mimi. manu-
facturers, and mention this paper.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

The Bible is good time card, but .
man makes mistake when he tries to
use it for a ticket.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

FURs, HIDES, PELTS.
Write for prices and ship to Mcmillan
Fur & Wool Co., Minneapolis. MINI.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

No man is called to the glory Of dra-
gon staying until he has learned to do
the little kindly deeds.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

Most people expect dollars worth
of thanks for a 50.cent present.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

TOP PRICES FOR HIDES. FURs AMI
Pelts. Write for Circular No. 8. N. w
Hide s. Fur Co., Minneapolis, MINI.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

pI pysing is as n4 easy yes as washing when
Ask your druggist.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

Few men con do two things at once.
but any girl can chew gum and talk
simultaneously.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

Judged by some standards, pickles
ought to be powerful promoters Of
piety.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

Garfield Tea, the Herb laxative, is mild
and potent; take it for constipation and
to regulate sluggish liver.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

All crooks should be dressed in
straight jackets.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28
Good Rubber Boots

That last and do not leak. Stout's patent
Snag-proof." If your dealer does not
Rubber Co.. st. Paul. Mimi. Northwestern
distributors, and Mention this paper.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

PILES oURED IN Q TO II DAYS.
PAZO OINTMENT 10 guaranteed to cure any case
OF Itching, Blind, Bleeding or PrQtruding Piles n
. TO u days or money refunded. 6tc.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

We Pay s2c for Cream To-day.
MILLER & HOLMES. st. Paul, MINI.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

Mrs. winslow'1 Soothing Syrup.
For children teething softens the gums, reduces in
Illumination aays pain, cures wind collie. Csc bottle
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

Many marked man has the tattoo
areist to thank for it.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

Any man is unreliable when talking
about his side Of the case.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

DR.. J. H. RINDLAuB, (spectaIist),
Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat,
Fargo, N. D.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

Many think they are defending
faith when they are only fighting
against the necessity of thinking.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

TRAPPERs' SUPPLIES SOLD CHEAP.
Write for Catalogue No. 9. N. w. Hide
& Fur Co.. Minneapolis. MINI.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-12-28

Important % Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle Of CAsToRfl.
. safe and sure remedy fcr infants and children
md - fhsf IL .-.a ~ ~
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1906-05-25
Oldest Living Thing.

The distinction of being the Oldest
living thing undoubtedly belongs to
one Of the giant trees. and many at
tempts TO locate IL and determine its
age have been made. says London Tit
Bits. A century ago DE Candolite
found two yews-one at Fortinga!. In
Per;hshire. and one at Heds0r. In
Bucks-that We're estimated TO be re-
spectiveiy $500 and 3.2tO years old.
Both are still fiourishins. and the
older tree has a trunk ~ feet In cir
conference. A gigantic boabab In
Central America. with u trunk 20 fee,
through. was thought by Humboldt TO
be not less than 5.i50 years old. Mex
lean botanists believe that they have
now discovered life-span even
greater than this. and from the annual
rings cypress of chepultepec. whose
trunk Is lis feet In circumference. IL
assigned an age of about J.:00 years.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1906-05-25
BREAD DYSPEPSIA.
Tho Discs.ing Element Left Out.

Bread dyspepsia is common. 1t af-
fects the bowels because white bread Is
nearly all starch, and starch is digested
in the intestines. not In the stomach
proper.
Up under the shell of the wheat berry
nature has provided n curious deposit
which Is turned into diastase when 1t is
subjected tosthe saliva and to the PAN
creatic juices in the human intestines.
This diastase is absolutely necessary
TO digest starch and turn 1t into grape
sugar, which is the next form; but that
part OF the wheat berry makes dark
flour, and the modern miller cannot
readily sell dark flour. SO natures val
liable digester is thrown out and the
human system must handle the starch
as best It can. without the help that ma
ture intended.
Small wonder that appendicitis, peri
tonitis. constipation and all sorts Of
trouble exist when we go SO contrary
to natures law. The food experts that
perfected Grape-Nuts Food, knowing
these facts, made use in their expert
ments of the entire wheat and barley,
including all the parts. and subjected
them to moisture and long continued
warmth, which allows time and tho
proper conditions for developing the
diastase, outside Of the human body.
In this way the starchy part is trans
formed into grape-sugar in perfect
ly natural manner, without the use Of
chemicals or any outside ingredients.
The little sparkling crystals Of grape
sugar can be seen on the pieces of
Grape-Nuts. This food therefore Is
naturally pre-digested and its use in
place of bread will quickly correct the
troubles that have been brought about
by the too free use Of starch in the
food, and that is very common in the
human race to-day.
The eeffct Of eating Grape-Nuts ten
days or two weeks and the discontin-
uance of ordinary white bread is very
marked. The user will gain rapidly in
strength and physical and mental
health.
There's . reason"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1906-05-25
FAMOUS LOST TREASURES.
Relics of the Days of the Pharaohs
and Other Epoehs Worth
Fortunes.

The Venus de Milo. which has been
In the Louvre for many years. is as
all the world knows. an imperfect
piece OF sculpture. though II Is the
greatest treasure OF Its kind the world
has ever seen. A great reward would
DO given the man who could md the
missing parts. About 2s years ago the
most important OF them-the right
arnl-came To light In London and Sas
proved by experts TO be genuine. The
owner. however. refused to part with
H.. and concealed Il for fear u would
be stolen. Unfortunately. he died
without revealing Its hiding place. SO
II Is as much lost as ever.
A bronze drinking cup which was
stolen from an Egyptian temple In
1888 and brought to Europe has nit
neuiousiy disappeared. On u Is en-
graved the whole history of the Phar-
aohs aud II could easily be sold for
100000. In fact. the French govern
ment offered n reward of $4,000 for
its discovery. but the famous cup has
vanished. probably forever.
Another treasure which has van
ished in as strang. way In the Mar
csl.., vase OF the Dresden collection.
This Is tho only piece missing from
tho famous Dresden Mareella collie
tion. the value OF which is said to be
81. 900. II bears the cross arrows and
the lions head. Not long ago ;hc
vase was said to bo In England. but
bn that as Il may. the person who re-
difcovcrs this treasure may command
any price In reason for II.
How II Is possible that n treasure
no large ns painting could be lost
sight -of. .ep,irriy IN, not easily cx-
plaincd. but this has often happened.
Ono of Reynolds paintings. ''The
Countess OF Derby which Is eonsii-
cred his bcs, portrait. has disappeared.
Not long after Il was painted II dig
appeared from tho collection OF she
earl Of Derby and has never bc:n
heard OF since. though II would bring
si5a.ooo TO fh. finder. There are also
two vandykes and n Rembrandt mig-
ing. for which collectors are Willing
TO pay 100000. rE. . b..
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1906-05-25
THE JERUSALEM ARTIcHOKE
Peculiar Qualities of Tuber That
Grows on the Roots of the
Sunflower.

Most young folks in the country ere
familiar with the sweet, crisp, juicy
tubers known as artichokes. These.
says an article on Mature and Sci
ence." in St Nicholas. grow on the
roots of the sunflower known to bot
anists as Helianthus tuberosis, ana
are commonly called Jerusalem art.-
chokes. Under this common name you
will find the tubers offered for salo IL.
most seed catalogues.
The plants are easily grown in all
most any kind of soil. At first glance
the tubers have somewhat the appear
ance of potatoes, but unlike them they
may be eaten raw like radishes. or
they may be picked or cooked. Re-
cipes are to be found in all cook
books.
These artichok IS are entirely differ
ent (yet not far distant in botanical
.way) from the globe artichckes which
are grown in California. and perhaps
elsewhere exclusively for their edible
flower buds. These are never eaten
raw. Even when cooked they are
rather tasteless. Personally, think
they are not to be compared, as an
acceptable vegetable, with the Jerusa-
lem articheke, sometimes even now
found in old-fashioned gardens.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1906-05-25
DECISION ON NAMES.
Report Of Board In Regard to Colorado
Points.

The United States Board on Geo.
graphic Names at q meeting held on
April I. 1906. rendered the following
decisions as regards Colorado points:
Bison. mountain. Tarryali noun.
tain. Park county.
Black: mountain. Park county. tSot
pasaltic.)
bunaio: peak. Tarryaii mountains.
Park county. tSot PREGNANCY
Cathedral: peaks. West Elk noun.
iains. Gunnison county. lNot Mendi.
cant rijsc.D
Crcstonc: peaks. sansrc do cris,o
range. sasuachc county. (Not Three
Tctons) 30
Del Nortc: peak. San Juan noun.
tnins. Rio Grando county. tNot Pin.
dataJ
Electric: peak. sansrs do Cris,o
range. Custer county.
Granite: butte. group Of hills. Teller
county. mot catamount hiiis.J
GREEN. mountain ON plains at base
OF front range. Jefferson county. tNo,
Hendricks peak nor Mount Hcndricks.p
Grccnhorn: moun,ain. Wet noun.
tains. Huerfaro county. tNot Cucrno
verdc.D
Hunts: peak. SanTrc dc Cristo
mountains. on the boundary between
Saguache and Fremont counties.
Kit Carson: peak. Sangre de Cris,o
range. Custer and Sasuacho counties.
(Not frustum)
Mesa: mountain. SaSuache county.
(Sot Del Nortc.)
Mount Princc,on: sawatch range.
Chaffcc county. lNo, Chalk.
Mount Sneffels: San Juan noun.
tains. ouray county. mot Mount
Biainc.)
Music: pass. sansrc de cristo range.
Custer county.
Ohio: peak. Elk mountains. Gunni.
son county. tNot Anthracitc.)
Ouray. peak. Snwntch range. Chnffcc
county. mot Hump mountain. Mount
Ouray. nor Ouray mount.)
Saddle: mountain. Park county. (Not
Quadrate.)
Shavano: peak. Sawntch mountains.
Chaffee county. tNot Mount Shavano
nor Mount Ushcr.)
Sierra Blanca: mountains. Sangrc dc
Cris'o range. Costilla county. (Not
Cerro Blanco.)
Signal: butte. Teller county. (No,
Cheops pyramid.)
Thunder. butte. Douglas county.
(Not Christe)
Topaz: mountain. Tarryall noun.
Gains. Park county. tNot Pyramid.)
Trachytc: knob. Teller county. (No.
Iron knoll nor Iron mountain.)
Trout Creek: pass. Trout Creek
hills. between Chnffec and Park coun.
ties. Not Bath. Summit nor Trout.)
Turkshead: peak. Front range. JEFF
ferson county. mot Turkey Head,
Turkeyhead. nor Turks Head)
Virginia: peak. Front range, Jeffer.
con county Mot Craigsl
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1906-05-25
TOO MUCH FUNNY BUSINESS
Kentucky Bridegroom Who Didn't
Believe In kissing In
Public.

A well-known Kcntuckinn tells of n
mlrriagc ceremony that u Justice of
the peace In the Blue Grass state was
hurriedly called upon one day to per
form.
II appears. relates Success Magazine.
that the bridegroom. big noun
tainccr very roughly dressed. Ind
brought his prospective bride with
him to the ofilcc OF the clerk of the
court. thinking TO secure his license
and have the ceremony performed mt
one visit. When his license had been
duly granted the mountainccr asked II
there was n justice of the peace then
in the court house who could tie the
knot. Upon being advised by the clerk
that he himself was Justice of the
peace and that he was willing to join
the two lovers. the bridegroom said.
''Waal. then. were ready: go
ahead"
But you'll have to secure two wit
nesses." smilingly observed the clerk
and Justice. before I can proceed"
At this the mountnineer demurred.
saying that he did not care for wit
nesses. Nevertheless. he was convinced
in n moment that this formality was
an Indispensable one, and accordingly
the necessary witnesses were procured
and the ceremony began. When the
couple had promised to love. obey. etc.
together with the rest of the service.
the Justice OF the peace. quite inno-
Gently observed that the bridegroom
should kiss the bride"
Thereupon the mountaineer exhibit
ed fresh impatience at the cxactions Of
the official. Look here!" he exclaimed.
angrily, 1T seems to me that you're
draggin' in lot of funny business in
this weddin'. Why. kissed her be-
fore We came In"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1906-05-25
A Valuable Agent.

The eiyccrino employed In Dr. Picrcc's
medicines greatly enhances tho mcdi.
cinni properties which IL extracts and
holds In solution much better than aico.
hol would. IL also possesses medicinal
properties OF Its own, being valuable
dcmnlccat. nutriiiyc. aniiscptic and anti.
Torment. II adds greatly To tho efficacy
OF tho Black Chcrrybark. Golden Seal
root. Stone root and Queens root, con.
talncd In ''Goldcn Medical Discovery In
subduing chronic, or lingering coughs,
bronchial. throat and lung affections,
for all Of which these agents aro recon.
ncndcd by standard medical authorities.
In all cases whcro there Is n wasting
away OF flesh, loss OF appetite, with
weak stomach. rs In tho carly stages Of
consumption, there can bc no doubt that
glyccrino acts rs valuable nutritivo and
aids tho Golden Seal root, Stone root,
Queens root and Black Chcrrybark In
promoting digestion and building up tho
hcsh and strength. controlling tho cough
aud bringing about n healthy condition
OF tho wholc system. OF course, It must
not bo expected to work miracles. II will
not euro consumption except in It's earlier
stages. IL will euro very severe, obstin-
gcal troubles, and chronic sore throat
with hoarscness. In ncuto coughs IL Is
not SO effective II Is in tho lingering
coughs, or those OF long standing, even
when accompanied by bleeding from
marvellous cures. Send for and read tho
httlo book of extracts, treating Of tho
properties and uses of tho several med
icinai roots that enter into DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery and learn tVhy
this medicine has such wide range OF
application In tho cure Of diseases. 1t Is
sent free. Address DR.. X. v. Pierce,
Buffalo, N. Y. The Discovery, con.
tains no alcohol or harmful, habit-form-
ing drug. Ingredients all printed on each
bottle wrapper in plain English.
Sick people, especially those suffering
from diseases Of long standing, arc invited
to consult DIR. Pierce by letter, free. All
and sacredly confidential. Address DR.,
Il. v. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
DIR. Piercc's Medical Adviser Is sent free
on receipt of stamps to pay expense Of
for papcr-covered, or 3l stamps for cloth.
bound CODY,
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1906-05-25
THE SIMPLE LIFE.
How II Became Artificial Among
Americans.

Americans.
The great trouble with America is
that she falls upon any cure as hys-
terically and neurotically as she does
upon the drug inducing her disease
We go mad over the simple life. We
sit on green divan and babble Of
green fields. With Watteau fan in
one hand and glass in tho other, we
tell each other what a splendid thing
it is to go a.shepherding, to dwell
close to the earth, to live a sweet,
natural life. We even hire men and
women to come and talk to us about
these things, to chant to us, to lecture
us about them. Sometimes we even
try to practice, hurriedly and hyster-
ically, some of these things which we
have in pure self.hypnosis persuaded
ourselves that we ought to like. We
do no great good by that. We effect
nothing when we carry our drug habit
into the sanatorium Of the woods and
fields; we are still insane. We get no
good of the wilderness when we insist
that it be wilderness furnished with
hot and cold baths, the railroad and
the telegraph. Our trouble is that we
will not let go. We do not turn
loose" as they say on the plains
Reader.