Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-08-19
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

I'm this column win be answered all questions of
should write on one side only and address thrsr let
s sesS 70 mnsls Iasper Star once In case of dir
ncu,t conundrums answers may he delayed for q
week or TIVE Consequently it may be advisable
Tor all Questoners to watch this column carefully
LANGUAGE-Dear Uncle Jasper: Please
give me . common-sense definition of
hiatus" A.-Certainment. (splashD A
hiatus Is the interval between the moment
that mans wife asks him the name of
the brazen blonde she saw him with on the
street and the moment he hands out a
reply. As can readily be seen, a hiatus
IL not household pet.
MorHER-Uncle Jasper. have often
heard saloon spoken Of as an abode of
vice. but what 10 the definition of a water
wagonf A.-Easy. ma. The abode of vice
versa
1t looks very much as IL the Castellane
FAMILY skeleton was q very Boni affair
do not use the hatpin. Gertrude. We won't
do 1t again.
MILLFCENT-The other day 1 saw In a
shop window on street a sign which read
Bathing suits guaranteed" What did that
mean! Alt meant dear. that they were
guaranteed to shrink.
ISABEL-Is II proper to say short trou-
A
able dearte: be seasonable We are in the
midst OF the dog days.
In reply to several ouestioners. whose
MINDS apparently all run In the same chan
mel. we would say that the economic aspect
OF the Ice question just at present hits us
this way: We are getting a piece OF ice
20 per cent smaller than usual and paying
p per cent more for It, and II lasts only
40 per cent as long and does 50 per cent
less work. You'll find that the above math-
ematical debauch figures out about 23
FERDIE-Dear Uncle Jasper, do you con-
slider kissing just too silly for anything?
A-|certainiy! Certainly! By all means!l
Undoubtedly-in others
PATRICK-Dear sir: In a moment of
weakness the other night stole a kitchen
stove. two barrels OF lime and a tomb
stone. l have repented. What shall dor
A.-You must figure that out for yourself.
But permit US to wonder, In view OF your
statement that the theft was committed In
a moment OF weakness. what In the name
OF the Flatiron building you'd have taken
with you had you felt strong?
FAsTIDIoUs-Uncie Jasper. what would
you say OF q man who eats pie for break
fast? Alt depends on what he as worth.
Five thousand-uncouth. Five million-ec-
centric.
I'm afraid" sighed his nibs Nick, "that
the duma won't duma, but will Dune"
Copyrighted August IS. 1906, New York.
London and PARISH
POLITICAL-Is Secretary Taft still in
the public eye. Ayes but eighty-six
pounds less 50 than he was a year ago.
Bill banted.
NOTE-We are still standing with those
who want our language revamped. For IN
stance, when two trains come together II s
a collision. When two babies come together
it's twins. Strange! YeS>
DIPLOMATIC-Can you tell me why
with the car? Ayes: he once referred
to a Russian court function as a blowout.
Why should we criticise the President
for being so severe in his structures on the
judiciary? Isn't the bench made to be
sat upon?
ALBERT-Are there any moderns worthy
of being classed with Baron Munchausen?
A-Oh, dear, yes. We were told by a gray
eyed man yesterday that while he was in
New York on that very warm day couple
of weeks ago a twenty-two-story steel sky
scraper became so hot that Ii expanded
to twenty-three stories and the agent I'M
mediatey rented the extra floor to tenants.
INNOCENCE-Uncle Jasper. I saw the
strangest incident the other day. / was
In stationery store when a man came In
The price was 20 cents. but he insisted on
paying % cents. Why do you suppose that
was? A.-Youre thick. little bright eyes.
The man was undoubtedly naval officer
and was accustomed to a quarter deck.
UNCLE JASPER.