davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
A Marrow Squeak.

Your front door is unlocked, STRIP
shouted the policeman when he found
that Mr.. Careless Householder had
gone TO bed without attending TO his
locks.
Its all right" replied the burglar
from the bedroom window a minute
later; my son will lock it when he
comes home. Here's shilling for
you,
IAN easily earned bob chuckled the
policeman as he walked away.
"a narrow squeak" said the burglar,
with a sheet round his shoulders.
Very. replied his accomplish, whose
hands were tightly cIasped over poor
Mr.. Careless HOusehOlder's mouth
London Express.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
killing Time.

To read for either instruction or
amusement is commendable, but it is
not so for the sake of killing time. Late
in life, after his fortune had been
made, 4 successful merchant. Mr.. S.,
took a young man into partnership
Entering the office on dull day in the
dull season, the millionaire found his
partner yawning over book whats
that you're doing!" Mr.. S. asked
There's nothing else to do. so I'm
reading" was the answer Nothing
else to do? Reading:" the great mer-
chant repeated in tone that ex-
pressed wonder. amusement and scorn.
when you've nothing else to do don't
read. Think
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
Imaginary ni.eaxe

The British Medical Journal says
that only an imaginary remedy will
cure an imaginary disease. which is
true to the old maxim. ''Similia simIi-
bus curantur." 1t continues: This
may be condemned by the righteous rs
quackery. and quackery of a kind it
undoubtedly is. But if the real end of
medicine is to cure can she, when le-
Ultimate means fail. afford to despise
anything that relieves suffering, even
though the suffering be imaginary"
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
LONDON PUNCH.
One Occasion When the Proprietor
Wanted 1t stopped.

One Occasion When the PrOprfetof
Wanted 1t slapped.
The Introduction of Sir Franch
Burnand to the staff Of Punch led to
an unusual incident The Bookbuyer
tells the story Mr. Burnand had Civ
Ell up his profession cf law and was
devOting himself TO writing. 1t Oc
Cured to him that burleSoue on the
sensational novel of the day and print
ed after the manner of the London
Journal might make popular hit He
proposed his plan to the editor OF
Punch. who at once accepted the idea
The first nstallment came out, illus
trated by Gilbert, Du Maurier and
Keene and reproduced in Journal fash
ion. 1t took" at once and became the
talk OF the town.
The day of the first issue the senior
proprietor of Punch was i'll in bed
The number reached him with the
Journal burlesque folded on the out
side. At first he thought Journal
when he discovered that the page
formed portion of Punch he did not
stop to read it, but sprang out of bed
at once, dressed and hurried to the
office.
stop Punch!' he cried. bursting into
the room. stop Punch! You've gos
page OF the Journal in the formr'
1t took considerable explanation to
satisfy him that some dreadful mis-
take had not been made
This WAS Mr.. Rurnand'S first appear
ance on the Punch staff. The next
night Thackeray took him TO the week
~ dinner and introduced him:
"Gentlemen-the new boy"
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
DEMOCRATIC TICKET.
ForCongress:'
W. P. KIMBALL. of Fayette.
Free Reclining Char Cars.

The Southern Railway has inaugur-
ated free reclining chair car service
between Louisville and Evansville on
their fast through trains leaving Lou
isville at 1880 a. m. and p. m. daily,
and running solid to Evansville, with
out change. This line also operates
rec reclining chair cars on night
Lexington and Danville to st. Louis,
also Pullman Sleeper through from
Danville to ST. Louis. The Southern
Railway is % miles the shortest from
Louisville to Nashville and forty three
miles the shortest to st. Louis. If
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
skirt and Shirt.

Skirt is etymOlogicalIy the same
word as shirt" though it has come
over another linguistic route and prop
erly means short garment In fact,
skirt" shirt, short shear ''kir-
tie" and ''curt" are in all probability
near relations. But skirt has got it
self specialized to lower garment,
with special reference to the lower
edge thereof, the boundary where the
garment is cut short, whence the verb
-
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
EOrEiXRneRR.

Il can forgive, but | cannot forget"
is only one way of saying, Il will not
forgive" A forgiveness ought to be
like cancelled note, torn in two and
burned up, so that it can never be
shown against man. There is an
ugly kind of forgiveness in the world
"a kind Of hedgehog forgiveness shot
out like QuillS.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
Good News to Women.

Father Williams Indian Tea,
Natures Remedy, is becoming the
most popular Female Remedy in
use.
Pale, Weak, Nervous, Delicate
Women suffering from those weak
nesses and diseases, peculiar to their
sex, will find in Father Williams
Indian Tea a wonderful Tonic and
Regulator. 1t quiets the Nerves, puts
on flesh, gives strength and elasticity
to the step, brightens the eyes, clears
the complexion and makes you well
and strong again. Tea or Tablets, 20
ents. For sale by w. It. Brooks.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
If Yon Try

Father Williams Indian Herb Tea,
or Herb Tablets and do not find them
the best medicines you ever used for
Constipation, Torpid Liver, Sick Kid
neys, Sour Stomach, Sick Headache,
Neuralgia, Dyspepsia, Indigestion,
Billiousness, Malaria, Dizziness and
Bad Breath, we will refund the
money.
They work day and night and you
get up in the morning feeling like a
new person.
Try them 20 cents, Tea or Tablets
For sale by W. T. Brooks.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
A Lucky POstmistress

Is Mrs. Alexander, of Carey, Me-,
who has found DIR. Kings New Life
Pills to be the best remedy she ever
tried for keeping the stomach, liver
and bowels in perfect order. You'll
agree with her if you try these pain.
less purifiers that infuse new life.
Guaranteed by Oberdorfer, the drug
gist. Price 25c. oct
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
NeiEhbOr1X.

She-I have not seen you for an age,
Herr Doctor, Notwithstanding that we
live only a few streets apart here in
Berlin. learned with much regret that
you've been i'll. Herr DOctor-Who told
you that? She-My brother wrote me
from Fliegende Batter.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
Has Installed Pasteur Filter.

Mr.. ]. B. Wilson, the enterprislng
Main street druggist, has Just INSTALL
ed in his drug store fine Pasteur Fill
ter, and he invites the public to come
in and have a glass of pure, ice cold
water from the filter. The water is Rs
clear as a crystal and as pure as can
be. Besides. the filter makes hand
some ornament. Drop in and take a
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
A &IX Fake.

Nell-When / met May today had
my new gown on. OF course expect
ed her to say something about 1t, but
she pretended not to have seen it.
Belle-Yes, she's anaawful1ys: consider
ate and tender hearted girl. = Phila-
delphia Ledger.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16

Nellie always said that no two
people on earth think alike. I.ill-
Well? Nell.-He has changed his mind
since looking over the presents his
wedding called Evolutionary Home
Companion.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
Insure with w. o. Hinton. He
has the right kind of insurance.
williams Carbolic Salve With Arnic
and Witch Hazel.

The best Salve in the world for
Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt
Rheum, letter, Chapped Hands, and
all skin eruptions. 1t is guaranteed
to give satisfaction, or money re-
funded. Price 25c by Druggists.
WILLIAMS M'F'G. Co., Props,
Cleveland, o.
For sale by Oberdorfer.s
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
4 UnixersaI Rule.

A good thing in one town sometimes
fails to work in another town. Also
lutte knowledge seems to be rare, eX-
cept that it always pays to be indus
triOus, fair and decent = Atchison
Globe
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16

why have you and Harry ceased to
be 'ffiends?''T ss<Tr.,-.ss.. ',ss---s :
"He wanted to begin ecOnOmizing the
minute we became engaged. Chicago
Record Herald.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16

Cheerfulness bears the same friendly
regard to the mind as to the body. 1t
banishes all anxious care and discOn-
tent, soOthes and c0mpOses the pas
sions and keeps them in a perpetual
calm.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16

Speaking Of the irony of fate. why is
1t that mans friends sometimes for
get him. but his enemies never? Ter
rill CTex) Transcript.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
The Only safe Way.

Lawson-You say your wife never
disObeys you?
DawsOn-NO. never give her any
Orders.-Somerville Journal
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
Dog. Lost.

An Irish Terrier Pup, about IL weeks
old. Suitable reward will fbesg given to
finder if returned to
OSSIAN SPRAKE..
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1906-10-16
BLOCK LIGHTS.

have a large stock of the famous
Block Gas Lamps. Lamp and mantel
complete, only so cents.
If ]. 7. CONNOLLY.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
WOULD NOT SHOW BOOKS.
Manager Of AUeged Grating Deals
Delays Investigators.

Cincinnati, March 1.-The Senate committee
which is Investigating charges made during
the last campaign OF graft among party leaders
and Office holders Of Cincinnati and Hamilton
County, continued its research into turnpike
deals to-day. The efforts of the committees at
torneys were to show that the difference in the
prices paid by an alleged agent of certain bosses
and ofncials to the owners Of turnplkes, and the
greatly increased prices which the county was
made 10 pay for the pixies represented graft
IN many instances these toll turnpikes had
been utterly neglected for years and were prac-
tcally impossible the greater part Of the year
their owners being glad to get rid Of them for
q song. The county, however, paid big prices
70 somebody for them. Charles =. Dole who
managed most of these deals was on the stand
also to-day, and refused 70 show his bank
books and check books saying his sole reason
for refusal was that he could not be expected 10
dlvulge transactions between himself and clients
He said he would show these books 20 individual
members Of the committee. provided the con-
tents were not made public.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
4 BUMP FOR WCARTER.
Jersey attorney General Suddenly
Drops CI08e-FranciS Contest.
[Bv Telegrlph to The tribune

Freehold, n j, March 17.--Attorney General
Robert McCarter received a severe setback here
to-day when he attempted to take hand in the
Close Francis shrievalty contest Decisions were
to be rendered by Justice Hendrickson which
would decide whether c. Asa Francis, present
incumbent of the Sheriffs Office, should retain
that position or whether Charles r. Close, his
Democratic opponent, was entitled 10 the honor
Mr. McCarter began argument q marked
ballot when L. ". Arrnwsmth, counsel for Mr.
Close, arTaigned the state official for taking
partisan position in the matter. Arrowsmith
said il was improper. The Attorney General
said II his position in this matter could be thus
ne took the first train out Of town.
Arguments were then made on two classes Of
reserved ballots, and Justice Hendrickson re-
served decision until March 26, when the County
Board Of Elections will sit again. Francis had
a majority OF 50 on the face ~ the returns over
Close. This maj ority has been reduced to 2S
by the recount. II Justice Hendrickson decides
that marked ballots argued upon to-day, are in
validated. Mr.. Francis viii lose fifty votes and
Mr.. Close will succeed him in the sheriff's ONCE
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
HAZTEG BY MURDER WRITING.
story That Midshipman Had to Write Stories
and Could Not Study.
y 60 . &c rrlbune. ]

wheeling. ". Va. March 17.-sidney Mccoy
81 Wheeling, formerly Annapolis midshipman.
who failed IN the last examinations by an infin-
itesimal fraction, has returned home and will
accept an offer OF a place from the Cunard
Steamship Company.
4 story Is current that Mccoy was subjected
70 system OF hszing effective that he could
not ind time for study. He had been news
paper reporter IN Wheeling. and the upper class
men required Of him daily three well written
murder stories, with definite facts names and
dates and series OF editorial and personal
stems. McCoy's friends are angry and may de-
msnd CT Congressman 3. 3. Dovener, who sp-
pointed the lad, fun investigation.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18

today one trsinman was Killed and four others
i-iured. two falsely. An order had been issued
for ono 90 the trains 10 take siding. which
oTSe~ II is said. was overlooked resulting In
tlsr collision
The dead man WAS Frank Giles. fireman n
Morgan. n conductor, had his body crushed
I'd wiz probably die ". T. Winchester FIRE
I-sr had his right arm crushed and received IN
t.rral injuries. Both engines were demolished
ard ~oyora, cars eft the track.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
VENGEANCE CAUSES WRECK ATTEMPT
Effort to Smash Express Thought To Be Due
to Injury of Italians.
TBY relegraph 70 The tribune ]

Gresnsburg, Penn, March 17-An attempt
was made last night 10 wreck the Indianapolis
and St. Louis express on the Pennsylvania road
az "Ug' Tower, near this place by splicing the
switch and frog. A few minutes before S o'clock.
when the train was due, the splicing was dis
covered Nv the crew of a shifting engine. who
tagged the train and repaired the damage
Pennsylvania Railroad detectives who are
working on the case believe that the attenlpt
was made by Italians. several Of whom were in
5Ured in a collision between milk train and a
work train last week The foreigners have
threatened Vengeance on the railroad company.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
ALMOST Il FIRE PANIC.
Thousand Learc auditorium While
NRStreIs Perform.

Woburn Mass, March 17.-purirg a ST Pat
TICK night minstrel show in the Woburn Audi
forum this evening O. fire started in the rear
Of the stage but through the efforts Of si,,
young men who were in the middle Of an act
panic was averted and the audience Of nearly
q thousand people reached the street in an or
Derby manner just in time. as few minutes later,
the building was in flames
Inc entire structure, which included the audi
forum on the second floor and several sn7au
stores on the street floor, destroyed The
loss is estimated at $4,000
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
STAR Hal NEARLY KILLS MAN
Noted Stallion Attacks Visitor at Stables
with Teeth and Koofs

"suEville, \. T. March 17-AIyron D. Walsh,
vel known horseman. was nearly killed this
sftsrnoon BY the noted stallion Star Hal which
-UaA recently bought at the Madison Square
Gale by wsusviIIe sportsmen
Star Hal attacked one Of the visitors at the
etASlss to-day When Walsh attempted to drive
M the horse IL turned upon him. He was terri
bly, injured by the animals teeth and hoofs be-
fore hostler dragged him from the stall
His right arm was lacerated and broken IN
two places. His right leg was broken in TWO
places and he was Internally injured.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
TRAIN PLUEGES DOWN BANK.
Five Passengers and Bsggageman injured
Two Seriously Hurt.

Louis--Ia March 17-Train No. g. on the
Mcnon. which left Louisville for Chicago this
r-ormuE. was thrown from the track al Horse
Shoe Send Just after j o'clock this morning.
Five passengers and the baggage man were in
5ured. according 70 the report given cut by the
Nonen officials hsre. but nobody was killed.
The engine and tender jumped the track while
the train was rounding a curve. ana the entire
train went down an embankuent. The bag
gagenas's leg was broken and one of the pas.
eengers Is reported seriously hurt.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
CONFUSED. STEPS IN FRONT OF TRAIN,
Kc1-beT cf Catholic Order, Bswildered oy
Whistles. Is Run Down.

T-hi7,olri'ia. Msrch Il - Becoming confused
~ 3D.. -rriu blasts Of q locomotive whistle,
r.-c.s-- Peter John C,'Ieary) OF the order Of
,h~fsr.-a Brothers So instructor n the Catho-
90, rrcrs-torr ,0y Foys. near Norr1stoWp' Pehi''
.-a- 'Hrol hy a fJeieht train on the Pennsyl-
,-7fa Faiiroad today. Brother Peter was walk
5a- 5Isnc ,he rsiis. when two trains approached
frar1 opposite directions. The whistles ne"h-
s-re6 him. aud IN attempting 20 step aside he
vale .l iu front of one OF the trains End Was
--fte-~I 40 Ge-Jh.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
FARMERS DYNAMITE TOLL GATES
Commissioners Refused to Purchase Road
After People Voted It Free.
By IsleEraph - The Tribune. !

indianapolis. March 17.-Because the County
Commissioners Of Washington County refused
" purchase the gravel road leading through
Harainsburg and Fredericksburg. Washington
County after the people had voted ii. free
farmers appeared AT the two toll houses bout
2 o'clock this morning and utterly DESTROYED
them by exploding dynamite under them.
The toll gate keepers and their families -,-e-.
nIst oroeTed 10 7acate and then the farmers Of
Whorn there were twenty-five or thirty ~ each
pace, asslstea N removing the furniture which
vas placed al a safe distance Ten rounds Of
@Snsf1lte was then exploded under each house.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
BIG LUMBER DEAL coNsUMMArgp

tBy Telegraph 70 The Tribune
Memphis, March 17.-AU the holdings of the
Bradley-Ramsey Lumber Company. Of Lake
Charles. La, passed to-day to the Long-BeU
Company. Of Kansas City, No, transfer that
carries the largest lumber deal in the NTissjs-
sppi Valley. Four large plants. line Of steam
boats and barges, a railroad sixty-hve thou
acres only partly cut went for 100000
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
KILLED AT GRADE CROSSING.

little Girl Dead and Man Probably Dying.
Alidaletown, y. =. March 17-Regina Tas-
csno, twelve years old. was Instantly killed. and
Harry Golden, aged forty-fve. was probably IA
tally injured at = grade crossing on the Erie
Railroad at Port JerVis to-day. They were driT-
ing across the tracks and did not see the ap-
preaching train. The wagon was demolished.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
WOMAN A DRUMMER AT gIeHrysIx

tBy Telegraph to Tbs Tribune
Midoletown' \. Y. March I7.-Although she
vas eighty-slx years old on December 4. 1905
Miss serepta Plat Of East Brook, Delaware
County, is travelling saleswoman and is max
ing money She has recently taken the agency
Of Philadelphia house and is selling shears
Miss Piatt works on commission and is one
Of the most successful saleswomen ever en-
ployed by the Philadelphia firm
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
LAKE OF OIL IN OCEAN.
Experts Think Teras and Louisiana
Field Has Outlet.
Iay Telegraph to The Tribune ]

Galveston March l7.-Vessels arriving in port
report having encountered an immense lake Of
oil htty mics OF the Texas coast. through which
they ploughed their way for nearI,, ,broa 49,
The oil Is about two inches thick co,,a-,,. =,
area OF several miles, and appears 10 b. GUSHING
up through the water in heavy stream
Experts examining the oil felds declare the
original lake under Teas ana r.ou,.,s1. 49,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
WESTERN UNION ALMOST so YEARS OLD

The Western Union Telegraph Company on April
( Will have rounded out fifty years OF corporate
existence. charter was granted 10 the company
April l. 1860. It's immediate predecessor was tho
New-York and mississippi Valley Printing and
telegraph Company, which was merged with the
Western Union company. The company now has
lantc and throughout the North American Cont
nent
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
wREckERs THROW TRAIN FROM TRACK.

Washington, IND, March 1T-Psssenger train
10 J. On the Baltimore and Ohio Southwestern
rsn into an open switch here to-day, badly dam
aging the engine, wrecking several cars and in
Juring three persons. The railroad detectives saw
the switch was purposely thrown and are work
ing on the case
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18
a CUBAN TREASURER MISSING
Shortage of About $4,000 Reported in
Santiagos Funds

santiago de Cuba. March 1T-Blas Moline,
,,'e p.o.li''ia treasurer has been missing for
four days. An investigation uaads to-ds,.s 90
alleged. revealed shortage IN m. tr..",', : -
about $4,000. Molinet Is bonded hv ,ha N
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18

i -, a. ou'.et through the Gulf This theory
OoIhe out by the fact that the productioD :,
my neas has dropped OF nearly one u,inio, -. -
u, .nS 'Ss' sixty days despite the rnanv s,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-18

deity and Deposit Company OF Maryland . ~
sum OF $1,000
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1906-12-21

OF all the daredevil advertising
schemes ever tried in Walla Walla the
stunt OF local house this morning
takes the premium. Beginning at
10 80 o'clock silver dollars were given
away At the cashiers desk to every body
presenting 80 cents. The total sum
passed over the desk to customers of
the store in this manner was over $500
before the hour was up. The window
full Of extraordinary one.dollar bar.
gains vanished before the crowd OF
pushing bargain hunters this morning
with the rapidity of . SNOWFALL in
the inferno. Five minutes after the
sale begun few stripped cloak france
were the only things left 10 the window
which has been the focus of the femi.
nine eyes OF Walla Walla for the past
three days. Silk skirts, valuable fure
and dresses worth from So to $50 each
all were carried out for one PUNK
each.-Statesnlan
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1906-12-21

N the Superior Court Of the State of Washing
1 ton In and for Thurston county.
In re estate OF Wesley Davis. deceased.
Order to Show Cause Why Real Estate Should
Not be Sold.
The Administrative herein having fled peti.
tiOn for permission TO sell the coal I'm the Sc \.
Of the Sc and sw \ OF sW y Of Section IL,
Township 10 North. Range West, W. NJ, and in
the event that the coal could not be sold to sell
said real estate. said premises situate, lying and
being In Thurston county. Washington, the Pc
titiOner petitioning the Court to sell at private
sale, and the Court having read said petition,
now sets Saturday the 10Th day Of January. 1907,
at the hour Of II A: ~, and the Court Room OF
the Court House OF ThurstOn county, in Olympia,
Washington, as the time and the place FOR the
hearing OF the said petition, and all persons hav
ing any objections to said sale are hereby or.
dered and directed to appear and show cause. II
any they have, Oh said date, why such sale should
not be made.
The Administrative Ia directed to publish this
order for four successive weeks in a newspaper
Of general circulation in Thurston county, Wash
tngton.
Dated this 18th day of December. 1906.
U. V. LINN,
Judge.
First publication, Dec. IA, 1907.