The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-08-16
9br I)aily Aromorritr.
NEWSPAPER cHAFF.

Together they shine
On music and poetrys page;
And right they should,
For however good,
They are both improved by age.
WIN. J. Hampton in The bohemian.
>
A teacher In a small Oregon school
was giving a lesson on the circulation
OF the blood. Trying to make II clear
CT, he said:
Nov, children, II ! stood on my
head. the blood as you know, would
run into il, and should turn red In
The face
"Yes, sir" said they.
Now. Arthur continued the teach
cr. addressing small boy, "what !
want to know IS this How IS II that
when ! am standing upright In an or
binary position the blood doesn't
run into my feet and turn them red2'
"why. sir" answered Arthur, be
cause your feet int aln't empty "-
Short Stories.
General Mayer dean Of the Louis
lana delegation IN congress. although
somewhat over the Oslor age Is a con
genial and conyivial addition to any
party He tells q good story, Is quick
at retort. either IN debate or conyer.
sation. and Is one OF the most popu-
lar members Of The house Of repre-.
Bentatives. Entering the cloak room
of the house recently. ne confronted
a group Of storytelling congressman
who were swapping yarns and relating
personal campaign experiences Good
morning. general" said one Of the
group. how is your conduct these
days9" In his suavost manner and
blandest tone the general replied.
My conduct IS so correct that my
wife's confidence IN me Is positively
insulting Kansas city star.
=
\ want pair of gloves for my
Jim" she said. Hes going 20 O. ball.
"Yw. madam" said tho assistant
producing the white hii gloves. This
Is the kind. suppose
Them" cried the woman. Good
ness. no. They'd bo too good. My
Jim's got ham ike shoulder Of
mutton. Besides. they're COO dear
Haven't yol got .omc,hiug IKE the
policemen wear 90 about siNpcuce
ha'pcnny?'
The assistant smiliugly regretted
that they did not suep that Kind.
"oh. wcll' She replied. there's no
'elp for it-JIm1 have to wash his
hands after all'-T.tl.ts.
At slsburban residence near Phil.
udclphia there recently appeared an
-unkcmpt looking individual who asked
for employment IL chanccd that this
application was made to the lady of
the house herself, who was supcrin.
tending the transplanuug a plants in
the garden
Are you gardener" asked the
lady.
"Ain't had much experience at gar
denim was the reply.
Can you plant these bushes?'
I'D hate to risk spollm' them,
mum"
Then what can you do?"
"Well, num- responded the un.
kempt look individual. If you was to
hand me one Of your husbands cigars
1 might sit In the green house an
smoke out the Insects that's catin' the
leaves Of thom rose bushes, ,"-llar.
per's Weekly.
An old rich bachelor who never
could keep his servants, asked one
recently employed 10 bring him his
pipe. II was brought
''Bring me the ash tray and matches
also. Whenever ! ask for anything
bring all that goes with IT, too
Soon after that the old man became
IN. lie sent the servant for the doe
tor. To the great astonishmont Of the
patient, he came back, not only with
the doctor but with the undertaken
The graye.diggor and two or three 9th
or men.
"Who In the world are these peo
plc?" shricked the sick man.
"You told me" meckly explained an,
servant, that when I was ordered q,
get you anything should bring al
that belonged To it-an1 90 ! did. '-
Philadelphia Ledger
=
Dallas Wexford, an English Comedi
AN. has been appointed To a toast a
banquet az the Players club, bu