davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1906-03-29

blood. twill set things right in your stom-
ach and your appetite will come back. If
there is any tendency in your family toward
consumption, it will keep that dread de-
stroyer away. Even after consumption has
almost gained foothold in the form of a
lingering cough, bronchitis, or bleeding at
the lungs it will bring about speedy cure in
o8 per cent of all cases. 1t is remedy pre-
pared by DR.. r. " Pierce, of Buffalo, N. Y,
whose GdvGce is giVeN free to all who wish to
write him. His great success has come from
his wide experience and varied practice.
o. S. Copenhaver, ESQ, of Mount Union,
Huntingdon Co.. Pa. (Box 222), wvites About
twelve years ago / was suddenly taken with
pain in the pit of the stomach which was SO vio-
lent could not walk straight. 1t would grow
anore severe until it caused waterkrash and von-
iting OF Shiny yellow water. A physician told
me had form Of dyspepsia and treated me for
other physician told me my liver was out of or
der and that had indigestion. He gave me a
treatment and I got some better but only for a
short time. Ithen tried another one who said
had chronic indigestion, Rceration of the lining
of the stomach, torpid liver and kidney affection.
He treated me for more than year and felt
much better, but it did not last I then took to
using several widely advertised patent medi-
cincs, but received no more than temporary re-
lief then tried Dr. Pierces medicines, using
his Golden Medical Discovery and the Pleas
ant Pellets and in two months time was feel
ing better than had for years before"
Don't be wheedled by a penny-grabbing
dealer into taking inferior substitutes for
DR.. Pferce's medicines, recommended to
be "just as good"
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1906-03-29

VOTERS OF PLEASANT PRAIRIE
The Republican Caucus will be held
atjthe Town Hall, Friday afternoon,
March 80, at 2:3O o'clock.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1906-03-29
LADIES' LIST.

Mrs. w. T. Boerner, Mrs Enge1berg, Cora
Mrs. W. L. Smith, Susie M. Carney, Emma
Howard, Maria Humnicka, Car1ine, Miss M.
McDenig, Miss Blanche Sanders, May Crib
bic, Mary A. Henry. Mrs. c. Johnson, Freda
Mayer, Miss A. S. Nelson.
To obtain any of the above mail
matter the applicant must give the
date of this list.
JOHN B. MALoNEY, p. M.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1906-03-29
MEMS LIST.

c. A. Anderson, Pal B1ahusgak, Mike Fan
jak, John Just, Peter Mahsonne, Mathew Mue1-
Ter, ]. M. Podas, Mr.. Burnside, DIR. E. c. Craw-
ford, Mr.. B. Goodar, Karl Linch, VIM. Mexican,
Valid Nielsen, Robert E. Sharp, Fred Bessett,
J. E. Croker, G. II. Hadfe1d, Ignac Lowrino-
voc, Leon McReynolds, Konstanty Protso, ].
Sherlock.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1906-03-29
ADVERTISED MAIL MATTER

The following is list Of the mail
matter remaining uncalled for in the
Kenosha postoffice, Kenosha county,
Wisconsin, for week ending March %,
1906, and which will be sent to the
Dead Letter office at the expiration Of
two weeks unless called for:
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1906-03-29

Saturday afternoon the Republican
Caucus will be held.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1906-03-29
no YOU EEHI THIS WAY.

DO you feel all tired OUT Do you some.
times think you just can't work away at
your profession or trade any longer? Do
you have poor appetite, and lay awake at
nights unable to sleep7 Are your nerves
all gone, and your stomach too?
Has ambition to forge ahead RI In the
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
FARLEY AT WASHINGTON.

1t Will not surprise the people of
Post man. having met the Hon. Parloy
P. Christensen. has printed the conclu-
sion that Mr.. Christensen Is stronger
than the Hon. Joseph Howell for the
Republican nomination to Congress this
fall In this State.
1t cannot be possible that Mr.. Chris
tensen conveyed any such information
orally; and the writer for tho big paper
at tho National capital must have de-
rived his natural opinion from the dis
tinguished appearance OF Farley P. or
from Apostle Smoot There are only
two factors In the Republican part OF
the Utah situation. SO far as relates to
Mr.. Christensen. One is his own pull
chritude and the other is the permission
of the hierarchy. II the president OF
the church concludes to advise, through
Apostle Smoot that the County Attor-
ney OF Salt Lake he rewarded for gen
erous forbearance. the Hon. Farley p.
Christensen can get the nomination
and retain his good looks-until cleo
ton day. II on the other hand Preei-
dent Smith concludes that Farley z. Is
too valuable In his present position.
and can render better service to the
true faith than could be performed by
him in Congress. then that manly
beauty and the political aspiration for
Congressional honors at the next Re-
publican convention will both be sadly
marred.
But 1t Will be surprising to some peo-
pie In Salt Lake to learn that the
Washington Post spoke seriously. Its
interview with Mr.. Christensen. placing
him in advance of Mr.. Howell. was not
In the funny column.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
A DISEASED IMAGINATION.

The disreputable organ OF the dis
credited Morris administration affects
a mighty fear that the American ad-
ministration Will find the amount Of
taxes which the law permits to be
levied will not be enough for Its pur-
poses. But II may AZ we'll pull In the
kites OF its diseased imagination, and
quiet down The American admins
tration will be able TO get along very
we'll indeed. without breaking the law.
and also without breaking faith with
the people: which Is heap moro than
the disreputable organ can say for the
dlscredted Morris administration.
Mayor Morris made steady increases
In tho tax levy. He found tho city
promptly increased II to 10. In his sec
ond year no boosted the city tax to II
mills on the dollar. And this. with
large and steadily increasing valua-
ton. His first increase gave him $780, 900
In taxes above the taxation OF the year
before His second increase gave him
with the increased value carried In the
assessment roll, heavier taS Dy
$4,000 than was collected the year be-
fore he came into office.
And 1t Is the special defender Of this
imposition upon the people of grieVous
burdens unnecessarily. which now af-
fects concern which 1t never felt.
lest the people be overwhelmed with
taxation. And this is an advance hor-
ror, too. over a thing that It only
lmagines may occur. But as 1t never
uttered the slightest objection to the
Morris increase of nearly a hundred
thousand dollars year in the taxa
ton OF the city, and has never In the
least been even yet horrifled by It, the
people can safely dismiss the lnsincere
mouthings OF. an insincere organ.
whose Imagination does not even run
true to its own ideals. a dlsreputable
concern. organ of a discredited admin
istretion, conjuring up vapory horrors
for the people TO shy at. is a gruesome
sight, that sight being Itself and It's
crazy fears.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
INHARMoNY oF INSPIRATION,

1t palms The Tribune to note dle-
cord in the beautiful harmony with
which the so-called agents OF the
Lord" twang their harps. Here Is
President Joseph F. Smith directing
Jurors not to find verdicts against cor
porations; but we all recollect with
what venom An apostle Of the LORD
called upon the farmers OF this valley
to bring suits and multiply sults
against certain corporations. and de-
clared that the plants of these corpor-
ations must go
Now, 1t can hardly be possible that
the Lord did not know when trusting
that apostle to instigate and urge pen
atty suits against those corporations,
that he would later on direct Jurors not
TO bring In verdcts against corpora
tions. 1t is not supposable that the
Lord does not know today what He is
TO say tomorrow. This dilemma is one
In which ignorant and stupid bigotry
sometimes places the object OF It's
worship, but when II is grayely Inn
puted TO tho Lord Himself. as both
horns Of such dlemmas are frequently
imputed here, the imputation Is shock
Ing and scandalous
There are two ways out of the guam
dary. The first the obvious one, Is
that there isn't particle of revelation,
inspiration or common sense In the
whole trashy business, neither in the
counsel now to jurors to refuse to
bring In verdicts against corporations,
nor In the former malignant and bar
ratrous incitement TO litigation. The
second is that the sly prophet" meant
his counsel" 10 apply only TO cases
where his own corporations We're sued
leaving the former barratry 10 stand
as an equal word OF "the Lord" with
his own, And undoubtedly IT Is so;
both are precisely on a no account par
as 10 this
But how does II sound to the faith
full. to have one mouthpIece OF the
Lord" urge them 10 sue and vex by
litigation. the corporations they hope
to fleece. and another mouthpioce coun-
sells them not to bring in verdiots
against corporations WHOM they are
drawn as jurors7
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
FEW MORMON MERCHANTS.

Go down Main street and look at the
merchants signs and you Will see that
Mormon merchants are very few.
So declared one OF the leading men,
bers Of the hierarchy at a recent an
nual conference of the Mormon church
The speaker stated a great truth, but
he left the truth unexplained, and
therefore valueless as lesson to his
auditory. There are a few favored
mercantile concerns in which the Nor
mon church as a hierarchy 0or the
church consists solely OF Joseph F.
Smith and his immediate colleagues).
Is deeply interested. These are encour-
aged In all possible ways. 1t Is consid-
cred a deviation from the fellowship Of
the Saints to deal elsewhere. These
concerns are owned almost entirely by
leading men Of the Mormon commu-
nifty; practically they employ none but
Mormons: they insist upon all of the
Mormon trade, and as much of the Cen
tile trade as they can procure. What
possible chance in business does an in
divldual Mormon merchant have
against these favored corporations? He
is almost foredoomed to failure. One
Of the very few successful individual
Mormon merchants of Utah remarked
not long ago: I'VE are successful, but
1t is against oil odds. We are supposed
to pay 10 per cent OF our entire profits
into the tlthing office to be controlled
by President Smith and by him utilized
In maintaining the credit and enlarg-
ing the scope OF concerns with which
we must compete. There is no other
place In the world where such a ruin
GUS competition must be met AS say.
we are successful-but look at the
scores that have gone down in defeat"
Every institution which has the hie-
rarchical favor is known to the faith
full members OF the church and Is pa
tronlzed accordingly. The designation
is as clear as II the local ecclesiastical
monarch were to give letters patent,
such as are granted In England permit
ting the merchant to place the royal
arms over the entrance OF his store
and announce himself as the purveyor
by appointment to the King.
The distinguished prelate told tho
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20

truth about the lack OF Mormon mer-
chants, but he stated a truth most un-
complimentary to tho church system.
Individual Mormons should be the first
to rebel against the unequal conditions
which are imposed: for the present ten
denoy Is to make OF them employees OF
church favored concerns or to deprive
them OF all participation in commerce
1t is to the credit of Gentle mer-
chants that their superior ability In
their several lines enables them to more
than compete with Joseph f. Smiths
corporations. The unfairness OF the
competition against them Is as great so
far as It's impropriety is concerned: but
II is not so effective rs In the case OF
the individual Mormon merchant be-
cause, as q rule. the individual enter
prise, energy, and other qualifications
OF Gentle merchants enable them to
countervail In part at least the serious
disadvantages which accrue from
church control.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
ACCOUNTING FOR THE MILLION

At the session OF the City Council on
Thursday evening. Mr.. Mulvey offered
a most important resolution. and 1t was
passed without objection. 1t reads as
follows:
Resolved, That the Finance committee
OF the City Council be authorized and
instructed TO present to tho Council, for
public information, full and complete
report concerning the proceedings under
which an Issue OF sl.00000o OF Salt Lake
City bonds was made for the purpose OF
eplarging the water system and the sewer
system OF this city; showing the amount
OF money received from the sale of such
bonds; the amount OF expenditure, from
the funds derived, up to and including tho
made by the city previous 10 said date OF
December 81, 1905. involving expenditures
from said funds; and the. amounts OF
money appropriated since tho 3lst day OF
December 1905. In carrying out the pur-
poses for which said bonds were issued
and sold.
authorized to employ an expert account
ant TO aid the committee In this labor
should such accountant be deemed neces-
sary, at an expense not TO exceed $1,000.
The passage of. the resolution by
unanimous vote marks a commendable
desire on the part OF the Council to
probe into q matter that has been In
much Of a muddle. Various attempts
were made by the old city administra-
tion to account for its doings and ex-
penditures In this million dollar water
fund business. The former auditor un-
dertook to explain It all, but fell so far
short that Mayor Morris saw the audi
tors explanation wouldn't do, and he
put out an explanation OF his own.
This also failed to explain. Then he
gave an explanation. unofficial, time
or two. through the Deseret News, and
still there were things to explain that
ne had not included. The former city
recorder took a hand, also, and then
the former city engineer took fall out
OF It, but got tripped up himself. No
two OF these many explanations
agreed; none Of them was correct or
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
Observer s Observations

.hseryo that q COW always chews
~ own cud and never borrows from
another.
That COW always stands between
her offspring and danger.
That a good COW always teacnes hef
children to be self7supporting.
Tint a COW always mixes the cream
with the milk when she gives IL away.
That q COW always pays well for her
hoard and lodging and never com
plains about either.
That once in n while cow registers
a kick when some great Dig calt tries
10 pull her teat for more than there
IS In Il.
That a few common cows mix con-
siderable water with their milk.
That some COWS, II they can't go as
they please make big noise about H.
That a good cow always stays with
her little one after dark.
That the more q COW licks her ba-
bIes the better II ia for them
That some COWS without families
stay out late at night
That sometimes COW VIII stand
quiet while being MIXED until 'he
bucket ia about full, when she mas II
necessary to knock a fly off her belly
with her hind foot (And she does IT
quick)
That a cow never gets fat sucking
herself.
That come other people can toll more
about cows than j can.
on SUM UTHER THINGS.
observe that the sweet girl-grad-
uate nedz 10 be kept kool or she soon
sourz.
That the boyz and the gurlz ar soon
too be egzamind too sc hou much tha
hay forgotten.
That meny Of the koleg students
haynt edukashun enuf evn TO spell an
old lady ooith a set hooon the car Is
krouded.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
Short Stories
A HARp-BoILED MIRACLE.

Detriot Free Press.
John L. Sullivan described the other
day joke that he once played on Bob
Fitzsimmons-
when Fitz," he said. was Inter
ested in farming, I told him that my
cousin had a lot of flne Dorking roos-
ters, and / would send him one II he
would care for It. Fitz said he would
be delighted to add a Dorking rooster
to his collection of chickens.
$50 I got the Dorklng, packed II in
a basket and then. for a Joke. laid an
egg beneath the bird on the soft straw
''Fltz wrote 10 me the next day In
great astonishment. He thanked me
for the Dorking. which, though roos-
ter undoubtedly, and fine one. too,
had yet laid an egg on It's way to him.
Could I explain this phenomenon Had
l ever heard OF such thing before?
Il wrote back and said:
The Dorking rooster, In laying an
egg. has certainly broken all records.
What makes this happening still more
remarkable ia that, II you examine the
egg. you will find II 10 be hard boiled
one "
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE SUNDAY MORNING. MAY TO- 1906.

complete And this was all the niote
remarkable because Councilman Fern
strom snceringly denounced tho eHor'
to got statement OF this fund as fool
ish; everybody knew all about IL, ne
contended. And yet, as the repeated ana
successive explanations proved. NOBODY
knew all about II. Or else there was
something held back by oil. something
which all the former city oihciaiS
wished 10 conceal,
The finance committee OF the present
Council Will no doubt give prompt ana
earnest attention to this accounting II
Ia OF the utmost Importance to the peo-
pie OF this city that the million doilar
bond money be openly and eatisfao-
torily accounted for, In all its details
and ramihcations And now this ac-
counting Is In a fair way TO be iuily
and properly done.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
TWO KINDS.
London Chronicle

The joke OF the Vicar OF Withycombe.
Devon. at the Easter Vestry as to his
taegard church warden being not Il
pillar" but a "buttress" of the church
because he supported 1t outside, re-
minds one says q correspondent Of an
other joke OF the same kind delivered
from a London pulpit by the Rev. John
Mcneil. John was minister OF the
Scotch Church" Regent Square. at the
time, and In his own honely way was
driving his points home with telling ef
feet. He suddenly paused. after exhort-
Ing his congregation TO be workers, and
then, with a twinkle in his eye. said:
You know, I always think OF church
members being divided into two classes
pillars and caterpillars."
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
AN UNKNOWN ANGEL

she walks unnoticed in the street;
The casual eye
Sees nothing In her fair or sweet.
The world goes by
Unconscious that an angels fee,
Are passing nigh
She little has OF bcauty's wealth,
Truth will allow
only her priceless youth and hoaItb
Her broad. white brow:
ret grows she on tho heart by stealth
| scarce know how
she does thousand kindly things
That no ono knows;
A loving woman's heart she brines
To human woes;
Where'er she goes.
An9 M,, 80 she walks her quiet ways.
with that content
ha. ha oniy comes To sinless days
a nc devoid of fame or praise.
Yet nobly spent
Pail Mall Gazette
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
LAYING BOILED EGGS.


Some years ago my neighbor. the late
Nathaniel Noyes OF Randolph, supplied
me with fresh eggs. Among other fads
of his was To sterilize the drinking
water for his fowls. At the time of
this incident he had working for him
a half-witted fellow who sold me a
dozen fresh" eggs. Imagine my sur
prise TO learn that some OF them, when
broken, were found to be hard boiled
l Immediately returned them and de-
manded an explanation. When con-
fronted with the proof the fellow
looked puzzled for a moment and
scratched his head. Then, as the cause
dawned upon him he bounded into the
kitchen and exclaimed TO Mrs. Noyes:
"Marthyl Marthy! Don't give them
hens any more hot water to drink
They're layin' boiled eggs,"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
TOLD OF MARK TWAIN.

At a recent dinner Mark Twain. ac-
cording to an English report, made a
most amusing little speech which was
responded to as follows by a lawyer
who was present: Doesn't Il strike
the company as a little unusual" he In
quired, that professional humorist
should be funny?" When the laugh
that greeted this sally had subsided
Mark Twain drawled out, Doesn't It
strike the company as little unusual
that lawyer should have his hands
In his own pockets?"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
WHAT TEXT9

Bishop Strachan OF Toronto once re-
ceived two church wardens who com
plained that their clergyman wearied
the congregation by repeating a SER
mon. he had preached It twelve times.
me pishop asked for the text. Neither
OF the church wardens could remember
60 back said the bishop sternly.
and ask your clergyman to preach
tue sermon once more and then come
back and tell me the text"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20

duce It's character, Tho splendid citi-
zens, the enterprising gentlemen. who
have purchased Saltair from tho
church would be entitled to damages II
the word OF the Deseret News on
moral question were of any value In
this community.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20
Here and n

som some REvEREp Co.,.
Grand Magazine. eHlslsp
If there is anv ,
good original Iobean sne e yols,
"a dozen or two Two d. Is lue!s'.'
An An early Investigate, =. !As ~
tous question. a COR cas lnis d!
lived live some 1900 y.ss, sSs,aIA H.
.Tsn per In his day at ego; ,sse; I'D
Inc Researches ~ eln,aeily n.
9la 3D. not extend 90 ohIlssrms
nina. nina. 30 there is = ~ iat sr'
Gi1.s, @hleh abound in n. som. ~ 4
Celestial empire 'as ne u'sle,
thrHn n"nor OF originality 90 ., ,su
tner,s t1sr,s ears-chineas i,.sias h,st
maj, man anatomy-put SIs fas rsa
pain and uneasine.aa a'' pats
my left car now5', Az
NO, sir; I've not o,', asssa
right car vet" s,SSall. Sall. e.
were were trying to pass na' th,,l lal
without going arounS
A portrait palms.
was advised by a fr,ss, Tleqz mn
ness OF himself and n, II. %
II IN some consplcusuu,, ,u, e = q
would-be customers s us, 9sa,s
SKIN. He did 50. and d1Isas sIs y
the next time he c,,Ias ~, Z :
saw the picture. % ;cprs
visitor what woman, n'ss A..
sented thereT' "Whv e
recognize your own w. q
daughter!' ci9s was the iSsIs., s'|
II you intend that sd ,a
daughter. how dare vo,, ~ ~
tiile thus Intimately v,th
l never cav before sni a u
an entire stranger 10 he, No. -, |,
ers feelings need no, +.
The gIbes at doctors =, A.. - =
The Following Is a typ,c,, 3.
One of the Judges 'ns IN a. g
slons dispatched an ina = 9
of ours to seek out us sus =
good doctor. When i ~.
structed, you come IA ~. 81
doctor before which you AZ A.
planning ghosts you wifi t,..
found q man OF the kim :, y
The messenger get oot y }
OF every doctors door hs ~. g !
was an immense thro,s i
spirits proclalmlng Tia ~
had suffered when Ia ths ~
hands OF the medicine -.
however, he reached a ~
there was but one SOLITARY -, -
backward and forward.
man" he said TO hIms,g : :
surely be a clever fellors =
imp came TO make lnwlr. |,
he learned that the prssss
barely been In practice "a; !, =
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20

Regarding the beautifying OF their
premises. quite number OF property
holders show an inclination 10 follow
the advice OF the Improvement League
some other year
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20

Though they are not great friends,
Senator Smoot would hate to see Sen
ator Dubois impcriling his health by
returning to his seat before the end
Of the session
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20

Knowing how changeable human be-
ings are, the weather-makers Will not
be surprised II they soon hear COM
plants about the warmer weather.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-20

The Smoot case will soon be reported
to the Senate, but as there are 30 many
other matters to be attended to. Sen
ator Smoot viii not ask Chairman
Burrows to push II.