The San Francisco call., 1906-06-11
STIRRING UP THE ANIMALS.

The mischief is to pay in Chicago The President
has been to the menag gerie and poked the animals
with his stick, and raised an uproar, ranging from
the terrible basso profundo of the great African
lion down to the shri scream Of the tiny ring
tailed monkey of the Amazon Nothing like this
pandemonium has ever before been seen heard
in the big three-ringed circus tent the shore OF
Lake Michigan.
The commotion has spread to the domestic ami
mails The community has abruptly turned It's back
on sausages, and the dogs and cats of the Windy
City may now venture within the purleus of the
great abattGrs without riskng their precious lives
The signs of the zodiac have also been affected
Taurus the bull, Capricornus the goat, Pisces the
fishes, Aries the and Cancer the crab have like
wise been agitated, and the whole zodiacal equlib
rum deranged This is serious When the zodiac
gets disturbed look out for squalls Chicago may
be prepared for volcanoes, earthquakes, lorna
does and all sorts of terrible vsitations, beside
which the catastrophe that overwhelmed San Fran
cisco would be but the rafting of dice in a box.
Pisces the fishes and Cancer the crab had better
seek the sequestered hooks of deep water for all
Chicago has signed the pledge not to eat any
meat and fish will hereafter be the carnal diet of
the great Lake City. The fish peddlers, aroused to
enthusiasm over this sudden boom in their finny
commodity may discard the blatant tinhorn and the
melliHuently upon the breezes from the lake.
Oyer all this conlmotion the vegetarian now smiles
in triumph. The day is his At last his theory is
vindieated and publicly acknowledged. Turnips
cabbages, squash and beets viii hereafter share with
fishes the menu of the Chicago restaurant. For
when the Chicagoan says he will have no more meat
in his n, he means it.
Nor is the shaIeup confined to Chicago London
has caught the fever and wont eat any canned
meats. Her provision merchants say they have not
sold any timed beef ham since President Roose-
welt exposed what he calls the uncleanness of the
Chicago packing plants few days ago The British
mind has become iafamed this scandal that
John Bull has placed canned meats from his own
colonies also under TIE ban and with characteristic
stubbornness classes them with the American and
taboos them both
But the Chicago packer IS equal to the emergency
lie who could go to Egypt with pot of red white
'and blue paint and daub Eat Chicago Canned
Meat" all over the Pyramids and the face Of the
Sphinx, is not TO be hoored by any trivial incident
like this. He too, can issue pronunciamentos as
well the President and he has already done it
He has put his edicts in printed form and pastered
his packing houses with them: Every man in this
establishment is expected to wash is hands y
Don't spit on the hoorl'' Keep cleanl'' and
other glarng admonitions stare the visitor in the
face from every vacant spot on the walls Of the
packing houses,
1t is well for San Francisco that the President
reserved his expose Of the canned meat scandal until
now. We San Franciscans lived almost exclusively
on canned corn beef, potted ham, French sardres
from the coast Of Maine and capned vegetables for
weeks after the fire. and the Board Of Health re-
ported that during this period the health of the city
was better than for Years. In fact there was only
one case OF contagious illness the city at one time
But had the President played that trump card of
his before the fire there is no doubt that we all
would have had gripcs spasms, contortions pto-
maine poisoning and all sorts Of horrible things II
was narrow escape for us.