New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-31
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES"

'PARALLEL,OP1PEDUN
I'm recent controversy a Chicago retormer called
Mayor Dunno a raraieioppedon.l
When I discuss affairs of state do it with formal
For instance, when I talk about great munich
do not not deal in terms to mark me encyco-
! do not say the city ought to use force Archi-
To start the cars-that is. to get vast, gigantic
Pierian drafts have never been my chief and
But When I'm short and sharp Of speech and
really rather snippy Dunno, Nv. -,,-,-
pipedonr'
I'm not content to live my life in what you might
And vet Yet -o Observe, I do not say that you
do n9t gel you on the phone or dash you of
Informing you that you are but common parallel
Nor t6at you're what might be described by the
I'll not descend to gbe Jest, or let myself be
I simply state Il think you are paralslo-
pipedon."
Old Euclid lists a lot Of names that tell what
But I would not assert you're what a paralleIo-
A duodecahedron. now! How would it sound II
The city's rush I called you that or said you were
Or isohedron? What if thus my intellect detected
or if you rhomboid!' flashed out and came pretty
No. I'm content ri only say. from Maine to
The country knows that I called you parallelo-
Chicago Tribune.
At Eaton Hail. the days of the old Duke OF
Westminster there stood the mantelpiece OF the
principal guest-chamber a clock OF somewhat re-
markable design. Underneath hung a card bearing
the legend please do not touch me-" This room
was set apart for bachelor visitors especially. An
eminent politician whom this room had been al
hi aft hN
reason for the prOhlbitOry injunction. The Duke
replied-'I have often cOntended with my wife
that women more curious than men. To satisfy
me of the contrary fact she has placed the clock.
TO which you refer in the bachelors room with
tho notice affixed 10 II. The result has been that
every man. with notable exception, who has
occupied the room has asked me the Of the
notice" And who" inquired the visitor. who
may I ask. the notable exception Mr..
Fawcett. the Postmaster General" the reply
"but then. poor man. he blind"
Suspicous-"Very peculiar coincidence" said the
tall poet as he opened the big envelope.
why some weeks ago l sent the Editor of The
WhoOpem Magazine a poem entitled The Old
did he accept it,"
other day he returned Il WITH the GLOWING me as
sage we accepted your frst poem. but now We
full Chicago News.
When news that the faculty Of the University
of Wisconsin had barred football for one year
reached the students they rioted about the campus
at night firing of pistols They hanged in ehlgy
the prominent anti-football members or the
faculty. Then by the light of a bonfire the entire
student body gathered about game of marbles
which played amid cheers and songs and
locomotives
Helen. "A little girl Of four years. came to her
mother with a look OF pain on her face and said.
Mamma. have two bad headaches"
Two headaches?' said her mother. How can
that be?"
Wei. I have one above each eye"-Judge
sir John Runner has arrprsad To- ~
Wilmington. Norwich. England, what is called e.,
bonus scheme for healthy babies" Every birth
VIII be reported upon. and at the end OF tvv.,,.
months Sir John Drummer will make a grant OF
20 shilings to the mother or the guardian OF each
child that has made satisfactory progress tn
object Of the scheme is TO reduce the infant NOR
tally.
fair? N' 'N'hVN9 d loNe AT
Asgie-Because that is souethin1 va, .,~-a,..
learn by heart.-Illustrated BITS ~ o'"o'S