Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-13
IN THE MIMIC WORLD


There are a whole lot OF things happen
ing on the stage all the time that I can't
figure out at all and that I'd like to know
about" said the man with the interrogative
eye.
For one thing, why is 1t that the adven-
turess. when she's in the house, always
wears a black sequin-spangled dress with
her milky shoulders sticking way out of the
top of it? Never knew her to wear anything
else in the ball room scene. did you? And
when she scratches the match to light her
cigarette. why does she always scratch it
| on the high heel of one of her shoes? I've
always considered that more or less dan
gerous. for she's liable to set fire to the
lacy stuff that shows when she lifts up the
foot to get at the heel with the match, and
I've been waiting for years for some stage
adventures to catch fire to herself while
doing this. 1t is going to happen some old
day, mark my words.
"And. in vaudeville. to skip around some,
where does the fun come in when. at every
pause in the rapid-fire talk between a pair
| of Sidewalk comedians the one of them
who's dressed up slaps the other one across
the face with all his might VITA folded
up newspaper? Die ever notice how the
whole house just bowls with laughter every
| time that happens?
Say, 1 seen y'r sister las night one of
the sidewalk comedians saws to his com
panion, and then bifr. he gets swatted right
across the map with the foided-up newspa-
per, and then you can't hear yourself think
! for couple of minutes, the folks all around
you are being tossed around in such a veri-
table gale of laughter. Yep. 1 seen her las
night the low sidewalk comedian goes on,
and then, swing-o! he gets another one of
those newspaper wallops and everybody just
SwayS back and forth a-hollering over it.
Queer. isn't it? What's funny about 1t?
Where does the shrek come in? What for?
How about it? When? Hey? Show me.
And 1 wonder what there is in the COM
mon cusS word that tickles all hands In
every kind OF a theater audience, high or
| low immensely. That cuss word always
gets an immense laugh out of 'em, mat
ter where or how it is uttered on the stage,
or by whom SO does the word used to des-
| ignate the bad place. Some years ago l
saw play. performed by well-known, al
most-comedian, that was absolutely car
ried to success by the frequency with
which this prominent near-actor calculated
that word. Now, in private or ordinary life
l never thought there was anything SO very
funny about the two words. They re words
that a great many people use with great
| frequency-use 'em occasionally myself. l
grieve to confess-but you never hear them
evoke any wild laughter in everyday life.
Why should they be a source of such ire
mendous hflarity when emitted by some
body on the stage?
why, again. does any alluslon to booze
on the stage inevitably get all of them in
| front to grinning and looking each other
over craftily and looking sort of pleased and
gratified? Search me there I'm not hep to
| it. Some fellow says something on the
stage about how good a highball would
taste. and 1t makes an immense hit. In the
| commerce of ordinary life mention of a
! highball doesn't make any kind of a sensa-
! ton. A hghballs matter-of-fact sort OF
! an affair. and there's nothing funny about
tive seen the time after falling for too
| many of EN- when they have seemed tragic
| to me: on the following morning, for exam
| pie. But any allusion to rum by any stage
person is just naturally bound to make all
kinds of a hit. There was a vaudeville pi-
ano player who did his turn in the makeup
! of tramp burglar, going around a few
years ago, who said. he started off the
stage after his final encore every night
Now I'm going out and get one about that
high indicating with his hands how high
| a one he was going to stick into his sys-
tenn, and. my! what roar that did bring
| forth every blessed night! They thought it
| was something mighty cute that he was
going out, after his performance, and get
| one that high and how they did rock
around in their seats. What's the answer?
Which? Show me the blue prints Gimme a
peek at diagram. I'm not there with any
answer to that.
In one of those so-called knock-about
acts why is it that the knock-about comedi-
| an who is getting a horrible lot the worst
| of it gains SO little sympathy from the au-
| diences? They don't appear to feel sorry for
| him at all, but just laugh and laugh and
| laugh The other knock-about duck gives
| him a frightful kick on both shins, kick
| that you could hear a block away if you
| We're outside the theater, and how every
| body does just chucke. Wonder is it be-
| cause every body that goes to the theater Is
| naturally cruel? The other knock-about
| then sinks Ratchet deep into the hard
| tucker skull-more tremendous laughs. Then
| he stiffens two of his fingers and deliberately
| pokes them into his unfortunate partners
| eVpS~ Then the folks in the audience fairly
| bust themselves, it is funny. I'd like to
| have look at Exhibit A to find out what
| for they laugh.
1.-TWO Dutch comedians, both with huge
| balloon-siZe stomachs, are doing their duo
| logue In front of the drop and every time
one of them works off a witticiSm on the
| other he Is slapped resoundingly across the
stomach by the strong, croOk-handled cane
| in the hands of the other one And every
| body laughs. I'm from the Ozarks when II
| comes to knowing why everybody laughs
\ then
| when in a drammer-a sure-enougt
| drammer-the young woman has been cast
| out into the snow with her che-ild. with nc
place to go and with no idea where she car
| hook the SIT 600 worth of diamonds that She
| wears out in the snow-why. amid these cir
! cumstances. does the orchestra always play
muted. the first measure of The Flower
| Song?' What's The Flower Song got to dc
| with diamond-burdened. poor young thing
| chucked out into the snow with her che-ild
| Why doesn't the orchestra play something
| then that's got ice and frost In 1t? Pass
| again. Nobody knows.
| "Wny do stage folks. in legitimate dram.
| mers, always say gair-ll for girl? Nobody In
real life ever says gair-ll. Die ever heal
anybody in real life say gair-ll?
| why doesn't the heavy leading man say
| want my hat instead of 1 want meh
| hat or want muh hat?'
why does the leading woman In a socie-
| ty drammer always turn her back complete
| ly upon the young fellow when she's talk
ing to him in her boudoir? And, by the way
what's the young duck doing in her bou-
doir anyhow? In the common or garden va
riety of life that we lead do young ducks
call upon their ladfrens in their boudoirs?
Show me some more. I'm awaiting
putting" Tobacco.