The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-05-02
STREET STORIES.

"A funny thing happened in here"
SAID well-known hardware man in
his store yesterday. "A woman came
in to buy some garden implements.
She bought a hoe and a spade, then
asked to look at some rakes After ex-
aiming them for several minutes she
selected one and paid for it. She then
asked me to send the implements up
to her house and gave ME the address.
Just as she was about to go out of the
door she turned and said:
by the way, OF course, want the
latest thing in rakes. 1 suppose that
is one of the new muck rakes, isn't
it?'"
II assured her that it was, and she
left highly pleased with her purchases.
When somebody tells her what the
term muck rake means she'll prob
ably come back here and tell me what
an old fool l am"
The following story is told by
Fargo rounder who is sometimes out
late at night:
AS l was returning home last
night" he said, II ran into j., an
old friend of mine from the western
part OF the state, accompanied by
gentleman whom he introduced as Mr.
h Both having imbibed too freely
were sadly in need of an escort, so I
assumed this responsibility and started
to the hotel with them. Unfortunately,
= has only one arm, fact which
his companion, who had known him
for only few hours, had failed to
notice. Indeed. he was not very OBJ
serving owing to his condition and it
was with difficulty that l kept him
awake. We were in dark neighbor-
hood, and making slow progress, when
! sunddenly slipped and fell I'm
able to raise him alone, l reused his
companion and asked him to assist
me. Reaching down to take j
by the arm, he found an empty sleeve.
Quickly Strengthening up, he looked
around in a surprised manner, and
said:
What the h Then he stood
staring at j whose empty sleeve
looked exactly like an arm in the
darkness.
Come on, old man, give me lift"
| said, trying to keep a sober face.
Again he reached carefully down for
J@'s arm, with the same result
no arm there. He staggered back in
frightened manner, ran his hand
across his forehead, and said:
II (hic) guess I'll g-g-go back to
Moorhead and (hic) g-get another d.
drink"
In spite of my entreaties, back he
went
He is busy telling his friends that
ne is on the water wagon, but fails
to state the cause, which is still a
mystery to him.
The phone in the Office of a Third
street establishment devoted to dry
goods and various articles of feminine
apparel rang sharply and the head
bookkeeper responded. The voice he
heard was a feminine voice. 1t was
somewhat indignant and it began con-
versation without preliminaries.
Those bones you sent up are alto
gether too large" said the voice. 81
told you wanted small bones. This
is my little dogs birthday, and want
ed to give her some nice, dainty little
bones as special treat. And here you
have sent up some great enormous
things, only fit for a St. Bernard My
poor Flossie. with her dainty little
teeth, never could manage them in the
world, and she and are both awfully
disappointed"
Il beg your pardon, madam" said
the bookkeeper In establishment, but
am afraid you have rung up the
wrong place. This is not market,
and the only bones we ever send out
are the kind that come in corsets."