Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-18
HUMPTY ANp we BOSS.


We're content to win by laugh.
HUMPTY AND THE BOSS.
"Head Hissers In the Snake House"
Chez! but them Wall Street Sep
Rrators has got a nerve to call Mister
Lawson a Spider-web Speiler. He
amt a chink laundry ticket in pink
shirt factory side of them. They don't
do a thing to you but Annex all you
got and then wire the News to mother
in-law. ysSs,e,. =
How do know? 2"'ss q ~
Didn't onct work IN q Stomach.
cure Foundry that old ROCKEFELLER
bought out, and amt bin Lawson's
Head Hurry-boy since 1 let the West
ern Union print me name on their
door knob?
1t puts me to the Laughing Gas
when hear them Wiilie-Wises chin
about the high-man money game.
They amt Next no more than bow
legged billy goat at headpush horse
show.
There's only one eighteen.karat
Gold Fish In the Coin Aquarium Just
now, and that's me close friend, Thorn.
MS Solar-Plexus Lawson.
The first time / seen him was when
delivered a Gas-stove message from
Col. Bill Greene about his coming to
Boston to snoot the shingles OF the
BoBs's Brain Barn. / whizzed up to
his door in me Two-calf Panthard
Bubble and sent in me card by meself.
The Soda-Water Sammy who shufI1es
the gate money and tells you the
Boss is out when he's in, and sorry
for it, was ratified about something
and sent me straight to the Captains
once.
l had seen a bunch of frst-money
Gazeepers like John Soakem Sulli-
van, Cassie Borrow Chadwick, d.
vorce-Bnl Cody, and was keen to put
me Lamps on Lawson.
L walked up to him like q cop on
pay day and pushed the telegram in
his right NIT. He gave me a far
Rockaway look with Hetty Green
smile as he uncanned the message.
/ held me cap in me hand while he
read ii, and in q minute he went up
In the air to beat Subway dago on
top OF a blast. He made motions
that put Jitsoo to the Milk Toast, and
his Face Music was as rough house
as police captain talking FIRE works
to his men.
was rubbering for a cyclone eel
lar when he began to write his come
back; but it must have beeen raining
in Mexico, as the bull fight didn't
come of.
II ahO,,t kbraa eoiiirts of q salf1ar
bottle he passed me his reply and
skated out of the place like fly what
had got too busy with a bald head.
On me run back to the office read
the paper, and it was his way:
Dear Bill-Welcome to Dream
hurst. Come early and avoid the
rush. You don't say whether your
weapon is Dope gun, or one for ex
terminating Insects. In either case
may suggest that yoR try it on Your
self, as my Dog is now quite well
thank you.
Yours, until the next time.
LAWSON"
On the level now, do you thinl
them Scrambledoll Wine Openers
could grease up a Wire like that?
It wasn't till after had carried 1
lot Of Cholera-mixture Messages fol
him that he gave me the Happy Higl
Sign and handed me a Heart-to-heart
One morning when the weatheI
was weinerwurst than SasaprIlla at 1
Hibernian Picnic, goes to him witt
= wire from his right bower. Jacl
Croach, asking about sending an,
more fake kilograms from New Yorl
in the name Of prominent people, ant
he turns to me with this;
''Well, young man, how Is you
friend, Mister ROCKEFELLER, this morn
ing? What do you think Of Bible
Class Preferred? How would yol
Ike to be the OIL Man?"
know'd he was guying me, an,
quick as a hashlight of Russell Sag
taking money, I sed:
me for you, Mister Lawson
You're the real Boston BunkeT-hll
Cream Pun, you're making ther
Highbinders look like an Uncle Sor
toy terrier with q Philippians tin ca
tied to his Tab"
"rhen you think they're on tn
run. do your"
"ahure, Nike" sex !. haven't the
hired Talk-tosRer with shamroc
name 10 throw Word Bombs at you
Didn't Mister Rogers go to Europe I
let his coppera cool on. end didn
Roctyfeller's Kid 90 ae9ost tos
after handing his bunch OF Whit,
Nice DooSoodeFs a hock Of Var
MettoeS v esf while he vas aaae3"