davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
HAD TOLD THE STRICT TRUTH.
Argument Of Horse Trader Proved
UnansWerable.

Thomas Morton, once proprietor of
the Stockton Springs hotel in Maine,
was noted for his shrewdness in a
horse trade, and few men knew a
horse at sight better than he. He
was troubled with an impediment in
his speech. One day man looked
over his horses with the intention
of purchasing, and asked the age of
one which he fancied Morton re-
piled that he was Minimize years
old"
The man took the horse and after
ward ran across former owner, who
asked how much he paid for that
old plug"
"Old! Do you call nine years an
old hOrse?" he asked, and then he
was told that the horse was twenty
seven years old. Whereupon the
man promptly drove TO Mr.. Morton's
and demanded an explanation, calling
him liar.
Mr.. Morton replied that he had told
him the truth, and nothing but the
truth. and said: You fool, didn't I
say nine. nine, nine and isn't three
times nine twenty
The other man gave in as beaten.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
Children's Jokes,

Mary announced the other day that
she was hungry. Her brother, tc
tease her, inquired, How do you fee
when you are hungry?' Mary prompt
ly replied, Exactly as if l had q
corkscrew in my stomach"
The same little girl had just been
introduced to visitor named Mr.
Hunter. After dinner this visitor
said: IF you remember my name
you shall have these bonbons, Mary
and in her eagerness to get the bon
bons lost by exclaiming, IT'S Mr.
Shooter
Willie had just started to kinder
garten. The terms horizontal and
perpendicular had been explained
The next Sunday Willie said, Moth
er, l don't like my Sunday school
teacher
"Why?' asked his mother.
Well replied Willie, shes ali
right for school teacher but I don't
like her for Sunday school teacher
She's too horizontal, and she ought tc
be more perpendicular" Exchange
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

through the advice of Mrs. Pinkhaua.
of Lynn. Mass, which is given to sick
women absolutely free of charge.
The present Mrs. Pinkham has for
twenty-five years made a study of the
ills of her sex; she has consulted with
and advised thousands of suffering
women, who to-day owe not only their
health but even life TO her helpful
advice.
Mrs. Fannie D. Fox, of z Chestnut
Street, Bradford, Pa, writes:
Dear Mrs. Pinkham
81 suffered for a long time with femalo
trouble, and finally was told by my physician
that l had tumor. l did not want to
submit to TN operation, so wrote you for
advice. I received your letter and did a.
You told me, md to-day l am completely
cured. My doctor says the turnor has diaap-
peared, and ! am once more well woman.
believe Lydia i. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound is the best medicine in the world.s
The testimonials which VIC are con-
stan1lypublishing from grateful women
establish beyond n doubt the power of
Lydia Z. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound to conquer female diseases.
Women suffering from any form of
female weakness are invited to
promptly communicate with Mrs.
Pinkham. at Lynn, Mass. She asks
nothing in return for her advice. 1t II
absolutely free. and to thousands Of
women has proved to be more precious
than gold.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
Leaves Fortune to Her Pets.

The fact that Cecilia A. Wolsey
who was formerly performer on the
vaudeville stage under the name of
Lillian Western, bequeathed $4,000
for the care of her dog. parrot and a
cage of live birds, became known re-
Gently when her will was filed in New
York City.
Harriet E. Gates. friend of the
dead woman, is charged with the
care of the animals, and Miss Wolsey's
will provides that she shall have the
use Of the $4,000 for that purpose
After the death of Mrs Gates, the will
stipulates. the remainder of the money
shall go to the American Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals,
to care for Miss Wolsey's pets If they
outlive Mrs. Gates, and il not, to care
for other homeless animals.
Miss Wolsey was musical speci-
alist' on the vaudeville stage, and re-
tired from it a year ago, having only
her pets as companions.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
Brevity the Soul of Ghosts.

Here's the shortest ghost-story in
the world" said the red-nosed man,
who now, with the coffee, broke sill
ence for the first time at the dinner.
Two men were travelling from Bos-
ton to New York; strangers, but shar-
ing between them the smoking COM
partmcnt. After bit, one laid by
his magazine and said: Seems bit
jolly right here Yes replied the
other. L was killed just here three
years ago"
Shortest in the world, did you
say?" remarked some one at the other
end of the table. But here's a short
err A lonely old bachelor waking up
late at night, reached out his hand
for the matches, and they were hand
ed to him.
Then the host nodded to the but
ler.-The Sunday Magazine.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
EXTINCTION OF ANIMALS.
Buffalo, Elephant, Lion, Giraffe and
Others Passing Away.

Recently published translations from
the German writings of C. B. Schill-
ings, the noted African traveller and
animal photographer, have been inter-
esting a good many people in this
country. says the Indianapolis News
MIR. Schillings has an enthusiasm for
this sort of scientific investigation that
has carried him to daring lengths in
the achievement of his purpose. He
realizes that the larger animals of At
rica-the elephant. the lion, the giraffe.
etc.--are rapidly becoming extinct
that in a few more generations the
world will know them only as it now
knows the dodo; and for this reason
he has ur 'artaken to make an accur-
ate and sc.sntific record of their exist
ence in their native habitat To do
Of the dark continent and photo
graphed these animals in their wild
state, both at night by means of flash
light and in daytime with such sun
exposures as he has been able to OBJ
tain. His work has been excelle,0ly
done, and the record Is interesting to
who come after us.
With its economic usefulness it is
likely that the elephant will, in the
course of time, take the status of the
camel in the Orient and never become
extinct. But the others are doomed.
The giraffes are almost gone, the rhi-
noceros and the river horse" are be-
coming rare, and lions grow scarcer
year by yea. And this is largely be-
cause of killing for sport" Some of
these animals, to be sure, are danger
Gus. but Africa is large place. I'm
der fair and undisturbcd conditions
they live to themselves and injure no
one; man goes into their territory,
slaughter-bent, good deal oftener
than the wild animals come to him.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
"HomE" FccD FOR pYsPEpr,cs.
New York Woman Makes Much Money
by Supplying It.

The American habit ui oyereating,
with its consequent train of stomach
troubles. has brought about a curious
business in New York. 1t is that of
SUI plying food such as mother used
to rook" to patients whose digestions
have got cut of order and who are
taking the rest cure for the affect
ed organs. This novel business en-
terprise is carried on practicallys by
ono woman who has made name for
herself among stomach specialists in
this. city by the purity and the sim
I.licity of the soups and broths she
makes for invalids. She began 10
cook these dishes several years ago,
he: plant consisting of one hall bed
room, a big gas stove and one old col
orS.1 woman to carry On the actual
wGik of the cooking under her direc-
tions.
Now her business has grown 10
such proportions that Size has whole
house devoted to it, the latest feature
of her trade being this of supplying
food TO patients who are living tenn
ro.arily in the big hotels. One Of the
FIRST things a doctor does nowadays,
when he is called in TO attend a pa
tient afflicted with the Ills that come
from overfeeding, is to lay down the
law that the rich hotel fare shall be
Gu. off and the simple, wholesome
dimes from this unique establishment
be substituted. 1t is not an expensive
substitute, for the prices charged by
this woman make even hose asked at
the st. Regis seem cheap in compari-
son. So valuable do SPECIALISTS con-
slider these wholesome foods that one
physician is seriously considering
turaing one of the dwelling houses on
the same block with her establish
ment into sanitarium to be near the
base Of supplies.-New York Press.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
LOST EYESICHT
Through Coffee Drinking

Some people question the statements
that coffee hurts the delicate nerves
of the body. Personal experience with
thousands proves the general state
ment true and physicians have records
of great numbers Of cases that add to
the testimony.
The following is from the Rockford,
ILL.,, Register Gazette:
DIR. William Langhorst Of Aurora
has been treating one of the queerest
cases of lost eyesight ever in history.
The patient is o. A. Leach of Beach
county, and in the last four months he
had doctored with all of the specialists
about the country and has at last re-
turned home with the fact impressc,'
on his mind that his case is incurLble.
A portion of the optic naT,e has
been ruined, rendering HI, sight so
limited that he is ur. lie to see any
thing before him. r he can see plain
y anything At t-s side Of him. There
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

Let it be remembered that the eyes
may be attacked in one case and the
stomach in another while in others it
may be kidneys, heart, bowels or gen.
eral nervous prostration. The remedy
is obvious and should be adopted be-
fore too late.
Quit coffee, if you show inciplent
disease.
1t is easy if one can have we'll
boiled Postum Food Coffee TO seryefor
the hot morning beverage. The
withdrawal of the old kind Of coffee
that is doing the harm and the sup
ply of the elements in the Postum
which Nature uses to rebuild the
broken down nerve cells, insures a
quick return to the old joy of strength
and health, and it's well worth whila
to be able again to do things and
feel we'll. There's reason for
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

have been but few cases Of its kind
before, and they have been caused by
whisky or tobacco. Leach has never
used either, but has been a great cof-
fee drinker, and the specialists have
decided that the case has been caused
by this. Leach stated himself that
for several years he had drank three
cups of coffee for breakfast, two at
noon and one at night. According to
the recurds of the specialists of this
country this is the first case ever
caused by the use Of coffee.
The nerve is ruined beyond aid and
his case is incurable. The fact that
makes the case queer one is that the
sight forward has been lost and the
side sight has been retained. Accord
ing to the doctors statement, the
young man will have to give up cof-
fee or the rest Of his sight will fol-
low and the entire nerve be ruined
RegiSteT- Gazette.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
The Deadly Workshop.

More men are killed and manned in
Allegheny county, Pennsylvania. in
peaceful pursuits in one year than
were killed and wounded in many of
the great battles of history. Statistics
for the last year show that there were
killed and injured in the iron and steel
mills and blast furnaces 5000 men.
In other mills. shops and factories
400 were sacrificed and each died or
were hurt, while the coal mines swell
this figure 400 more, and the railroad
victims include an additional 400, max
ing up grand total of 17.7O0 who
were killed or injured in one year.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
Fulfilled Threat of Death.

That Sicilian brigands are still liv-
ing up to their melodramatic tradi-
tioNs is proved by the following bit
of news from that island: About a
month ago S:gnor di Martino. a Sicil-
ian of good family was captured by
brigands while cycling near Palermo.
His parents. instead of paying the
ransom. hired soldiers to search for
him. His dead body has now been
fornd buried under a pyramid Of
stones.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

Admiral's Wssds Garry Weight.
Rear-Admiral Hichborn is one of the
best-known officers OF our navy. His
statements concerning Peruna will
have much weight as they go out in
the world. What he says Is echoed by
many other officers Of high standing.
What the Admiral Says.
Philip Hichborn, Rear-Admiral of
the U. 8. Navy, Washington, d. c.,
writes:
"Aher the use of Peruns for short
period, 4 can now cheerfuily recon-.
mend your valuable remedy to any
ono who Is In need of an inyig0rafi1g
tonic. "-PhiIIp HchbOrn.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
THE WORLDS RAILWAYS,
United States Greatly surpasses Other
Nations.

NaNI0HSs
The United States leads the World,
both In the present mileage and the re-
cent growth of its railways. This is
shown in a report on "the transporta-
tion routes and systems of the world"
issued by the Bureau of Statistics of
the Department of Commerce of Labor.
1t points out that of the total railway
mileage of the world, aggregating in
1904 $4,000 miles. there were 1914
miles in the United States, 35,323
miles in European Russia, 32,9G7 miles
in Germany, 2S,1O4 miles in France,
2G,950 in India, 24,12O in Austria Hun
gary, 22,G34 in the United Kingdom,
1861 in Canada. 1850 in Africa, a.
l13 in Australia, 1860 in Argentina.
1886 in Mexico, 1861 in Italy, 9,S6S
in Brazil, 1867 in Sweden, 1922 in ST.
IBERIA, Manchuria and the other former
Asiatic possessions of Russia, 4,495 in
Japan and 1,17G in China.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
PAIN IN The JOINTS
Rheumatic Tortures Cease When Or
Williams Pink Pills Make
New Blood.

The first sign of rheumatism is fire.
quently pain and swelling III one of
the joints. If not conbated in the
blood, which is the seat Of the disease,
the poison spreads, affecting other joints
and tissues. Sometimes rheumatism at
tacks the heart and is quickly fatal.
The one remedy that has cured
rheumatism SO that it stays cured is DR..
Williams Pink Pills. These pills cxpel
the poison from the blood and restore
the system, so that the poisonous matter
is passed off as nature intended.
Mrs. I. T. Pitcher, of No. l30 Mon
mouth street, Newark. N. j., suffered
for about three years from rheumatism
before she found this cure. She says:
at began with a queer feeling in my
fingers. In little time it seemed as
though the finger joints had Jumps OH
them and could not get my gloves OF.
"Then it grew worse and spread to
my knees. could not stahd up and l
could not sleep nights. My suffering
was more than can describe. l took Il
great deal of medicine, but nothing even
gave me relief until tried DR.. Williams
Pink Pills.
81 read an account Of cure in case
that was exactly like mine and my hus-
band got me some of the pills. l took
them for three weeks before l really felt
better but they finally cured me. "
Mr.. Pitcher, who is veteran and n
member of E D. Morgan Post, No. 307
of New York, subsrantiates his wife $
statement and says that she now walks
without difficulty, whereas year ago
he was compelled to push her about in a
wheeled chair. Both Mr.. and Mrs.
Pitcher are enthusiastic i'll their praise
of DIR. Williams Pink Pills.
For further information, address the
DR.. Williams Medicine Company, Sche-
nectady, NY.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
Will FLY to Washington.

F. NJ. Mahan of Chicago. who is one
of the many inventors Of flying ma
chimes that have lately sprung up in all
parts of the country, announces that he
has perfected machine In which he
expects to fly to Washington on April
23rd. his eightleth birthday, and deliver
a message from the mayor of Chicago
to President Roosevelt.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
Ask You, prugyis. 10, AI!en.. foo..Ea,e.

4I tried ALIENS FOOT-EASE recent
ly and have just bought another supply. 1t
has cured my corns, and the hot, burning
and itching sensation in my feet which was
almost ur rbearable, and would not be with
out it NOW. Mrs. w. ]. Walker, Camden,
n. j." Sold by all Druggists, 25c.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

to 100 pounds. Doctors told me had
diabetes and could not live. l was
wretched and hopeless when I began
using Doan's Kidney Pills. but they
cured me eight years ago. and I've
been well ever since"
Sold by all dealers. so cents box.
Foster Milburn Co, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
CONCERNING COMMON SENSE.

The man who knows when not to
talk, possesses judgment Of a high
order. People everywhere are dis
playing good judgment by eating
Pillsbury's Vitos for breakfast. It's
a mighty good thing to be outside of;
try 1t.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

The soldier and the sailor are es-
pecially subject to catarrh. In the
barracks and on the field. Peruna is
found equally efficacious to overcome
this physical enemy. II taken in time
1t will prevent colds from developing
into catarrh. Even after cold has
settled in some organ of the body,
Peruna can be relied upon as an eff
cacious remedy to promptly overcome
it.
Peruna will relieve catarrh, whether
acute or chronic, but few doses Of
1t taken in the first stages of the dis
ease will be more effective than when
the disease has become established.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

Mother Cray's Sweet Powders fer Children
Successfully used by Mother Gray, nurse
in the Children's Home in New York, cure
Constipation, Feverishness, Bad Stomach,
Teething Disorders, move and regulate the
Bowels and Destroy Worms. Over &c, 900 tes.
timonials. At all Druggists, Csc. Sample
FREE. Address A. S. Olmsted, Leroy NY.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

ago ! had kidney
trouble SO iad !
could not Gork.
Backache was per
sistent and IL was
agony to lift any
thing. Grav e !,
W hirling head
a C h e s, dizziness
and terrible urin-
ary disorders ran
me down from lGS
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
Suffered for a Long Time Without
ReIief-Doctor Was Afraid to Touch
rber-Cur,d nv Cuticura

Them-Cured by cuticura.
"For a long time l suffered with
sores on the hands which were Itch
ing, painful and disagreeable. l had
three doctors, and derived no benefit
from any of them. One doctor said
he was afraid to touch my hands. SO
you must know how bad they we're;
another said never could be cured:
and the third said the sores were
caused by the dipping Of my hands
in water in the dye-house where l
work. saw in the papers about the
wonderful cures Of the Cuticura Rene
dies and procured some OF the Cuti-
cura Soap and Cuticura Ointment. In
three days after the application of the
Cuticura Ointment my hands began
to peel and were better. The sore
ness disappeared, and they are now
smooth and clean, and ! am still
working in the dye-house. Mrs. A. e.
Maurer, 234O State St.. Chicago. ILL.,.
July /, 1906"
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

,do not believe Piso's Cure for Consumption
has an equal for coughs and colds-JoHN F.
BOYER, Trinity Springs Ind. Feb. l5. 1900.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
Glas. Bricks in Germany.

Glass bricks, a German product. are
but not transparent, and
possess the advantages of being acid
proof and harboring no disease germs.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
HOw'S This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
case Of Catarrh that cannot be CARED by Hans
Catarrh Cure.
FL. CHENEY & CO., Toledo q.
We, the undersigned. have known r. j. Cheney
for the last Ii years. and believe him perfectly hon
crable in all business transactions and financially
able carry out obligations made by his hrE.
WALDING. kts>AS d MARyIS,
Wholesale Druggists. Toledo. O.
Hairs Catarrh Cure il taken internally. acting
drecily upon the blood and Inucou. surfaces OF the
system. Testimonials sent free. Price Is cents per
bottle. Sold by ali Druggists.
Take Halls Family PIs fOr constipation.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
TWENTY YEARS OF IT,
Emaeiated by Diabetes; Tortured
With Gravel and Kidney Pains.

Henry Soule. cobbler. of Ham
mondsport, n. v. says: Since Doan's
Kidney Pills cured me eight years
ago. I've reached 20 and hope to live
many years longer. But twenty years
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
PENSIONS ::s4 ::x t.s.. 5ax:
Write Nathan Bickford, sls F St.. washington. D. C.
rss's:s: :s1. :s.., -s.s a.. Thompson's Eye Water

They have a COW out in Oregon that
wiggles her horns" Gee. I'D hate to
have Il COW like that hook me-"
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

John D. Rockefeller. Jr.. Is at the
head of the Continental Rubber Com
pary of America capitalized at $50
100000. The young man is starting in
Il modest way. but doubtless the bust
ness may be stretched
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

IT s1merImes happens that the man
who considers his wife one in a thou
sand imagines her mother is the other
nine hundred and ninety-nine.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
Worth knowing

that Allcock's are the original and only
genuine porous plasters; all other so-called
porous plastcrs are limitations.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

who gets the last word at your
house, Well. my wife usually. has
it, but l get it."
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quiuine Tablets. Drug
rists refund money II 1t fails to h. ".
GROVES signature Is on each box. &c.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

Lewis Single Binder Cigar has rich
taste. Your dealer or Lewis Factory,
Peoria, Ill.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

Lots of learned men have been i'm.
posed upon, but the sage isn't always
as green as lie looks
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

20 they make good apple pies a
your house?' The best ever. Why
there are almost no dried apples il
them ut all"
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

Mrs. winslow's Eoorning Syrup.
For children teethinx, softenh the Guins m
fanst!on AsyB pain, cures wind coliu. 25c bottle
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

We all guess at things, and. If thev
come out that way. swear we reasoned
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
Mother Cray's Sweet Powd,

Even busy men are never too busy
to stop and look at a dog fight.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

Mistrcss-Didn't the ladies who
called leave cards? Bridget-They
wanted to, ma'am. but l towled thin
ye had plinty av yer own, and better
ones
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
8 Tons Grass Hay Free.

Everybody loves lots and lots OF fodder
for hogs, COWS, sheep and swine
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
When Your Grocer SAYS

ne does not have Defiance Starch, you
may be sure he is afraid to keep 1t un-
til his stock of ~ OF. packages are
sold. Defiance Starch is not only bet
ter than any other Cold Water Starch,
but contains 16 OF. to the package and
sells for same money as II OF. brands.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
SORES ON HANDS.

'uonglndaL Llaul sG p3HooIo sr Sulao
aWl pLpu sAEU pInoM uou ouoS
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

No one who starts out to hunt trou-
hlo has use fpr II gun.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

and receive free sufficient seed to grow 5
summer and our great Bargain Seed Book
with its wonderful surprises and great
bargains in seeds at bargain prices.
Remit 4c and we add a package of Cos
mos, the most fashionable, serviccable,
beautiful annual flower.
John A. Salzer Seed Co., Lock Draw
cr W., La Crosse, Wis.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
ALL SICK WOMEN
SHOULD READ RRS. Fox's Letter.
In All Parts OF the United States Lydli
e. Ptnkham's Vegetable CompounA
Has Effected Similar Cures.

Many wonderful cures of female iIls
nre continually coming to light which
have been brought about by Lydia e.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, and
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
w --SSsEs4I;s7 EIlgNJgYI.E ESJ9sg7sIA
|N &&'azAtGSzzSI;sNESs' &&G s'h'S'!!E'NI|

The enormous crops of our Northern
Grown Pedigree Seeds on our seed farms
the past year compel us TO issue spe-
cial catalogue called
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26

1t is lamentable fact that the man
who swears off is apt to keep on swear
ing.
The Grit-advocate., 1906-01-26
SEND THIS NOTICE TO-DAY.

sALZER's BARGAIN SEED BOOK.
This is brim full Of bargain seeds at bar.
gain prices.