The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-02

window and saw that several peopl,
had stopped In front or the house
Then she climbed to the attic to Civ,
Mr., Rowser word OF caution, Sh,
found him with coat vest and collal
or and the sweat standing out on hi,
forehead. and he greeted her entranc,
with:
Hip, hip, hip! Hop-hip.hop.h hip
Mary. Mary! Mary, Sam! Sam
Samw
"Do you know that people are stop
ping In frunt OF the housef'' she asked
what fory Hip, Hop. Hlpl su
san! Susan, Su.san!"
"Your shouting makes them wonder
what Is going on. Can't you lower
your voice a llttle2'
"Not By the fourteen horns OF th,
seven sacred bulls OF lndiar' he shout
Cd. II am In my own house. am
cuitivating my own voice. II the gen
eral public doesn't like II they car
lump It."
But you haven't got 10 shout at th.
top Of ycur voice TO cultivate It. hav,
your"
People Attracted by Noise.
II have got to de- Gust az tho pro
fessor told me. want voice that
can be heard all over hall holding
10000 people. Ill. Hi, Hi. Hol Hol
Ho,"
Mrs. Bowser went downstairs and
left him at II. and she saw from tho
window that the number OF people had
Increased to iifty. The sash was
raised. and she heard one man say:
II tell you It's Bowser. He's been
OFF his champ for two or three years
past. aud he's finally become buggy.
He ought TO be taken to an asylum to.
night"
why don't one OF these boys so for
policeman queried another. ''If that
noise kesIS up no one on the block win
get an hours sleep tonight"
'cosmo! Cosmo! Cosmo. DIcki Dick!
Dick! Dan. Dan! DAM came the voice
Of Mr.. BoSser Just as the bell rang,
and Mrs Eowser answered IL 10 find
a policeman on the steps.
Policeman Calls.
How long has be been acting this
way?" whispered the officer as he
lodged into the hall.
"Do you mean Mr.. Bowserf"
"Yes. or whoever that Is roaring out
Ike mad bull. Has the doctor seen
him and ordered him to the asylum
yetY'
Away. Away! Away! Heave ho!
Heave bo! Heave ho" shouted tho voice
cultlvatnr In the attic.
1T Is Mr.. Bowser. sir" said Mrs.
Bowser with all the dignity she could
call up, 'and he Is not crazy"
'"Then, u,um, could | ask without
hurtin' your feelln's how long he's been
on the syree?''
"He Is perfectly sober. SIR"
Then he must have rats after him.
You can see what n crowd has gath
cred, and that noise must stop or
shall lose my job. The word came to
the station house that FIVE people were
being murdered by lunatic."
VERY well; you can go up"
The officer found his way to the attic.
Mr.. Bowser was waving bis arms and
bending his body and enunclatlng. but
after the officer had seized him and |
given him two shakes he dropped voice
culture and there was a contest of Ian
guage lastlag five minutes. At the end |
of that tir1e the officer came down
stairs and smiled at Mrs Bowser as
he opened the door to pass out and as.
sure the people that there was no cause
for alarm. The whooping had stopped |
for good and they could go home and
assure their families that no deed of
blood would occur. The crowd had
melted away when Mr. Bowser de-
scended. lie Galked straight up to
Mrs BowsAr and hoyered over her for
q long miLute before he could speak.
Then his Hnunciatlon was perfect as
he said:
Woman. this Is your seventeenth at
tempt to sssassinate me In the last
five years"
Bowser Resents Interference.
"Yesy slis replied.
"You were bound and determined to
have my voice remain like the sounds
Of an old file drawn across a coal scut-
tie, and you gathered that mob and
sent for the police"
"WellY
Tomorrow we separate - separate.
You consult your lawyer Il consult
mine. The fead line has been reached.
Good night, Mrs. Bowser. go to the
library to lo)k over some papers"
Mrs. Bowser went to bed, and two
hours later when he came upstairs she
heard him erow to himself:
Hang Professor Zangwllly! II be
comes into the Office tomorrow I'll
punch his head" NJ. QUAD.