The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-09-23
,n,.r..t Than Judge Smith spoke.

with interest. Then Judge smith SPOKE
Citizens Of Volcano" said he, Il think
We had best leave the discussion OF the
origin and possible significance OF these
marvellous fossil plug hats TO q committees
OF respectable citizens, which shall meet
tonight at Q O'Clock in the poker room OF
the Fiwt Chance drinking emporium. Ano
in my capacity as Judge OF this township
I appoint as this committee Hal Simpson,
the keeper of the general store, who, as
you know, deals in hats and may throw
some light on the subject; Tom Splnney
the undertaken, who must have some knowl-
edge of fossils; and myself, as representing
the legal end Of 1t.
sAnd." concluded the Judge, "to prevent
any chance Of phony business l will take
charge Of these prehistoric relics pending
the meeting Of the committee"
Volcano has never had such excitement
as that which held the town in its grip
during the meeting Of the committee IN
the back room Of the First a Most
all the town was gathered in the bar taking
drinks of Jim Hawkins, VIC told the story
Of his wandering burro and the a v with
the prehistoric shelf many times.
Some OF the citizens believed that as
soon a. the Smithsonian Institution heard
Of the find II would send a delegate out
to Volcano to purchase the fossils from
Jim for a big price. Jim agreed with this
belief n bought around several times on
the strength of IL. Others got into a heated
argument as to whether or not 1t was pos
sible that Scotty Of Death Valley had sailed
the cave with the plugs, made out Of Port
land cement, with the idea of finding them
some time later and getting some more
free advertising.
Meanwhile the discussion in the back
room kept up and some heated controversy
must have occurred, for before the meeting
finished Tom Spinney. the undertaken, was
thrown out Of the committee room on his
head, breaking several bottles behind the
kar ryhAro hA Iandnd GhnrfIU affair fhiQ
incident the door Of the room opened and
the rest Of the committee fled out.
Judge Smith had q drink, then he stood
on the bar and read the findings OF the
majority OF the committee of a piece OF
legal foolscap as follows:
whereas the majority Of this committee,
having faith In Alkali Jim Hawkins and
belle wing him no liar. has been called upon
TO decide upon the probable source and
scientific significance OF the three stone
plugs found by the aforesaid Alkali Jim
Hawkins: and
Whereas Tom spinney. the undertaken
Of this town, has been found TO be a man
Of no conscience and one ready to soon al
the serious things OF science. and has con-
seauently been kicked on this committee
and
whereas we have been confronted with
the problem OF three stone plugs and som
pieces Of prehistoric chinaware. and think
we know everything that can be known on
the subject;
Therefore. We and that tho three stons
plugs found by the aforesaid Alkali jim
Hawkins In a cave in the Panamints we're
the remains OF an ancient Aztec ~civiliZa'
tion-for the Aztecs may have inhabited
the Mojave before the Santa F4 trail wat
opened. and there hasn't been any son Of
gun who has said that they didn't;
Therefore ~(secondly). We believe that
what Alkali Jim found was a prehistoric Az
tee hat shop. or general store where they
sold hats, which was attested to by the sign
| Of the hat cut into the rock;
Therefore thirdly, We have pieced the
| chInaware together and ind that II wal
probably a prehistoric bill from the hal
store in question. since we trace a pictur'
Of a plug hat on the chinaware;
Therefore (fourthly and f1nally), We be-
lieve that this remarkable disc throws
much light on the science OF ethnoloRy
and entomology and the study OF dead
nations, In that II proves that the human
plug hat was worn before Columbus dis
| covered America and before the mems
fashions came from London. And we
recommend that Alkali Jim Hawkins let
the Smithsonian Institution know about his
! discovery and receive the plaudits Of q
grateful nation, as well as whatever the
Smithsonian wants to pay for these priceless
prehistoric relics.
Tom Spinney gave his minority report
from behind the bar. with his right hano
Rrasping a bungstarter. He said that he
Thought the prehistoric plug hats wert
fakes, and that Alkali Jim Hawkins was the
biggest liar that had lived in .he Mojavt
since Dutch Bill Hofstetter got run out OF
town, which was several years age.