davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1906-08-09
The Farmer and the Auto.

Some years ago, soon after utOmo-
biles began to be used throughout the
United States, an agent for a New
York house turned UP in a village in
Central New York. He eXpatiated to
an old farmer upon the virtues of the
new machine, dwelling upon what a
time saver it was. and withal how
fashionable it would be for the farmer
to be able to ride down to the village
on one of the n~ew-fangled machines
whenever he wanted to.
"Why," said the salesman, when
ever you go to the postofice, bank or
store, everybody will stop and stare at
Farmer Wilson, and pretty soon you'll
be the most talked of man in the
whole country"
The farmer thought he needed a
COW more than an auto, but finally
agreed to let the agent bring over one
of his machines. When the agent re
turned with it some days later the
farmer took him in charge and carried
him out to the lot and showed him q
fine Jersey COW.
That's what | bought with the
money l saved UP for you," said the
farmer. And without waiting for the
agent to recover from his surprise he
went on: 81 lowed I needed the COW
mon 1 did the machine, an there she
is. Amt she a beaut?'
When the agent recovered his
breath he said:
you'll look funny riding that COW
to town, won't you?"
"Ya-as," drawled out the old farmer:
"but I'd look a darned sight funniel
tryin' to milk an automobile"
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1906-08-09
q Me- Distinction.

The followi':S cannot fail to amuse
all who have saGh and heard the late
John Fiskc. Imagine him seated in
his study, presumably writing on "The
Mystery of Evil" The door opens and
his little son steps timidly in, saying:
Papa"
eyes, ny son, what is it,"
ma says you are to whip me-"
Whip you! What have you done?"
81 said something naughty"
What did you say"
"Why, I said that Aunt Sarah was a
fool and that Aunt Mary was a damn
fool"
Then Join Fiske said in that inim-
liable New England drawl. THAT is
about the Distinction should make.
Run out and play"
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1906-08-09
Truly. Rural.

William had just returned from COL
lege and noticed that Fanny Perkins, a
near n%eighEor, had during his absence
changed into a beautiful young wo-
man. His father remarked to his son:
William, have you noticed how 81
Perkins Fanny has shot up She's
getting to be a jolly handsome crit
teri"
"She certainly is, father" said Will
lam, enthusiastically. Fanny is as
beautiful as Hebe!"
where's your eyes, boy?" objected
tie father. She's a durn sighe purifier
than he be! Old ST is as morely as
Bill Jones bull pup"
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1906-08-09
He Flew the Coop.

'rWhat do you DO" he asked the
gardener, when the eggplant has
been properly set?"
Realizing that there was a hen on,
the grizzled old gardener advised the
young man to come off the perch,
laughing sarcastically.
"Don't cackle at me-" advised the
young
eff 1 wasn't afraid you would crow
over me I'd ask what You would do
with the eggplant
sTd pullet."
Which angered the old gardener SO
much that he pursued the youth with
a hatchet.-Judge.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1906-08-09
Seats for Boatmen In Church.

Rev. B. H. Bosanquet, vicar OF
Thames, button, states that he Is
sometimes told that there is a marked
falling off in the attendance at the
services on Sunday.
There is said to be a difficulty In
the matter of costume. In a parish
such as ours, the convention as to
Sunday clothes should not be unduly
pressed. Our church wardens would,
I know, be glad to reserve as far as
possible special seats for those in
boating costume on Sunday morning.
Services for cyclists are, of course,
common throughout the country dur
Inc the summer months.-Parish Mag
azine.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1906-08-09
Have the SfNle.

Poodle-Why in the world does such
a homely dog as you want to YEA a
jeweled collar?
Bulldog-Why not? I've seen
plenty of ugly women with diamond
necklaces.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1906-08-09
A MatcriaIist on Marriage.

Gen. Young, at a wedding in Wash
ington, was condemning materialists
and materialism.
What, precisely, is a materialist?"
a young girl asked.
GA materialist,' said Gen. Young, sis
one who sees only the material side of
things, one to whom the spiritual side
is invisible"
He looked about him at the happy
bridal party.
"Thus a materialist," he went on,
would call marriage merely a state
wherein you give a woman half your
v~ictuals to get the other half cooked"
..'unoIs ep uelno s.Iolgl. esop 9YpQs G,
eNenbq4IeeG g .oJ .u!l!eM esI ;oW,
.iMou SUI
-op no6 e1e 4eqM ana ilIeM iIIeM,,
.lJeI .ulqlou III. gM
Geql II peMouH l .oJ .ue .uIulq5U ep
emoo qeeq .ue sNoglsMells ep On ulno
Of eu eIol gsspW %'GppEseG u!gSe gu
sdIeQ euop eouop!AoId lnq ST GUS H.,
"'InJlspuoM ST 4eql 'IIeM,,
..'9m .oJ QgAo mo. poYoouy
6Ieqoeu .ser .ue SuoI1e emoo euoIo6o Z
.ug 'uMop 4no o. .oJ soeIl 90 4oI e PET
1 oSe HeeM g 4noq. 'GuM ::qgs SEA,
.ios aqua ST.,
.'YonI poo5 .u!ABQ ueeq sgq oqs
1 ezeo. Guy GlqSIm .uIIeeJ es.I no.,
.ISu
1907 no6 ere MoH 'eIoun '6pMoH,
'eoq STU no GUzg
5u!ugeI sgM oqM seYIep q o. Yeeds
o. peddols EuG uo3vd olglod g 5u'
-ssed sgM ulnos Qua u! uBmepuo5 v
'eou9p!AoLd 10 pspusdsO
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

For Rent:-Two large nice furn.
ished rooms for light housekeep-
ing Apply I25 Iowa Ave.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30
REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS.

FURNISHED by Oklahoma Title
& Trust Coz
Henry c. Bandurant to H. Z.
Stewart. w. D. SIoo, 90, Lots IS 20
in Blk 81 Chix.
Bert Alexander to Hattie R.
Coleman, w. D. 6o.oo Lot "a in
Blk 10 Alex, 1T.
Walter Chenault to A. J. .Waldock
w D. $500. 90 100 A, in 32-e-6
JosephineAskew to Jacob Hunt.
w. D. 1901. so so A. in a-5-6
William G. Armstrong to James
T. Short W.D. 100 prt Lot 5
Blk III Chick.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

For RENT Furnished room
suitable tor two gentlemen or two
ladies. 6o7 9th and Dakota
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30
WAIT |!
...REMEMBER...
THE NEW LUMBER YARD VIII

treat you right. IF you con-
template budding IN the near
future WAIT for them.
They will be ready for busi-
ness IN 10 days.
VIII carry a fun line Of
lumber and other building
material.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30
ATTENTION:Knights d coInmbus

ATTENTl0N:Knights Of Columbus
Those who have not been ex-
amined will please appear for exam
ination as early as possible About
fortyfive minutes is required for
each examination, and if all wait
uStil the last hour it will be simply
impossible 10 get through.
I will be at my office over the
First National Bank Friday from
S A.M.,to 6so PM. Saturday
from a. NJ. to s; so P. NJ. also
Saturday evening al eight, Sunday
morning at uine.
Or. w l. Peters,
Medical examiner
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30
THE SELLS FLOTO SHOWS ARE
COMING IN ALL THEIR SPLEN-
DOR FRIDAY.
FINEST STREET PARADE EVER
Every Department Improved New
Features Added for This Seasons
Exhibition.

The big shows talent comprises
more exclusive feature acts than
has ever been seen before under
canvas with any one organization.
The program includes the Peerless
Potters. international aerialists, di-
rect from three year. engagement
in Europe. High up in the dome
of the great canvas they give a
marvellous exhibition, one almost
nervewrecking to witness, and
when it is all over you have seen
the real kiugs of the air.
Then the Ty-Bell sisters, another
European feature, performing most
astounding feats in midair6nish their
act with whirlwind cloud swings on
suspending wires. De Carlo, Stokes
and Clemming, trio Of flying COM
edy motors, the Warren sisters. Ce
ella Fortuna and the Sisters Mon
daluson, all famous arena stars, a
bevy of girls flying, ,darting, spinning
and driving IN the air like unwinged
birds. The Martell family, premier
bicyclists of the world, the famous
Eddy family, expert high wire art
lists, wonderful cake walkers on a
doubtle stl and. Herbert, the frog
man, who does everything that a
great big live green frog does, a
contiiointal wonder. Mile Hilda, the
elastic Venus, ,anaomized marvel;the
wonderful Trevallos, eccentric dane
ers. Kittie Kruger, premier eques-
trienne; Bon Malerno and her feroci-
Gus group of trained wild lions,
llepards panthers and tigers, peform
ing in a forty foot ring entirely
enclosed in steel ribbed cage,
The Girl in Red, MYSTERIOUS
foreign arena feature; Christopher
Seitz, Europe's most famous ele-
phant trainer and the Sells-Flotc
heed of performing elephants: John
Prcvis, trainer Of domestic animals
with his troupe Of trained comedy
mules and performing whiffet dogs
two score of funny clowns to en-
liven this most praiseworthy pro
gram.
As this will be the only large
show to exhibit here this year, il i:
suggested that you make your pre-
parations to join the thousands
who will certainly enjoy full day.
pleasure. The funiest clowns OF
earth are with the Sells Floto show.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

A big shipment of
the new fabian skirts
just received at Eagle
Mer. Co.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

Mrs. NJ. A. Lancaster, eo3 Chick
asha avenue will leave Saturday
for a visit to her daughter, Mrs.
o. B. Quick in Yoakum.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

WANTED: Sales woman for our
Ladies furnishing store to be open
ed in The Short building on Chick
.asha avenue. State how long a re-
sident of Cnickasha and how much
experience. Address, Kendall's,
Chickas ha. I. 7.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-08-30

Two good easements to rent
cheap under the DAILY EXPRESS
Office.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-04
A Portrait

There once was an affable liar
Who sat round and smoked an old brier
But his smile was so gracious
And his heart was so spacious
That everyone loved that old liar.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-04
In Need of Counsel

A PROMINENT lawyer in Providence.
"A Rhode Island, much of whose practice
Is the procurement of divorces, tells the
following:
"One afternoon there came into my office
a young woman of handsome appearance and.
! should say, not above twentv-one wears of
age. When She presented her card. recognized
the name as that of the author of clever
and entertaining stories | had read in the
magazines.
She advised me that she had been sent by a
mutual friend, adding that she was having
trouble with her husband. | asked what evil
dence she had upon which to base application
for divorce. At the word divorce, she
seemed Mortified. Why. | don't want a
divorce she gaSped.
see, was my next observation. YOU are
DESTROYS of obtaining a judicial separation
No she said slowly and thoughtfully
/ don't think | want a separation.
At this | was perpleXed Then | CHANGED
the suggestion that if She wanted the delinquent
husband to contribute TO her support her
remedy lay in getting a warrant from a Justice
to the end that he be obliged to contribute
so much a week
AT this she smiled Why she continued
! make more money now than he does
grew eNaSperated. Permit me to saw
my services to secure for you a divorce. a
separation, OF an order for support. | cannot
see why you should wish to consult me at
all
As l said this, tears came to the eyes of
the pretty wife. and she appeared 50 helpless
that / felt ike a brute. What Is it that you
want, then, ! asked gently
' want him tO-to-l-love m-me!' she
faltered"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-04
SUNDAY MAGAZINE for MARCH a. 1906

NlclSSItudeS a small party boards the French
vessel ana saughters all on board Nigel has a dueI
with the Red Ferret and finally overcomes HIM.
Nigel Is 50 wounded that he cannot take part in
the hight at Calais His threat to kill himself if
hlng Edward carries out his purpose of hanging
The ked Ferret, as the latter is his own prisoner
saves the frenehmans life, and he is sent TO Cos
ford To inform Lady Mary that saint Catharine
has smiled upon Nigel the first time
Slr Robert knolleS Is ordered to Brittany.
Nigel goes with HIM. The King attacks and con
queTs a large fleet of Spanish war-ships in the
hngllsh Channel knoes and his party save the
Black Prince from the enemy.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-04
Resurrection of a Yogi
Confined iron; page 7

and had no premonition of what was coming;
but as the old man turned and set his feet upon
the ground there occurred, perhaps, the most
unforgettablc feature of the whole ceremony
This was the widest most frenzled, most eX-
traOrdinarV Outburst that ever proceeded from
human hus. Mingled with the trumpets the
drums the cvmbals and many other noisy IN
struments, il was a wild mad babel OF cries that
lasted for fully ten minutes. The whole assem-
blage seemed frenzied if the eight days
suspense and the solemn and superstltlOuS feel
ines evoked had reached the limit OF self
control.
Walking as before behind the three old men
and led by the procession of yogIS, the resur-
rected one passed outward and was thus es-
corted TO a cell IN the mountains which he
entered nevermOre 10 be seen of men. The
rest of his lie was to be state OF medita-
ton.
| had of course long series of talks with my
friend over the ceremony, the results of which
can here only be epitOmized-
What does IL symbolize," | asked
Generally speaking the triumph over
death. but it means much more than that. To
the highest vogis class | have not yet reached,
it IS part of a psychophysIcal discipline whose
ultimate result | cannot tell you. The relation
OF soul TO body. Of the ego TO its tabernacle OF
CLAW IS you have told me, the fundamental
question with the psyChICal students OF the
West With those who accept the existence OF
the soul independently OF the body you have
told me that they believe in the placement or
temporary departure Of the soul OF the psychic
while the communicating spirit IS using the
psychic BODY IN order t. communicate The
same order Of ideas prevails here, but | believe
that this soul-rclatIon has been studied much
more deeply here than anywhere else. As tar
as know. this ceremony ordeal or final act OF
discipline IS discipline in the direction OF soul
alienation. soul separation or soul placement,
as YOU NAV choose % call it By means OF It
the perfected devotec Is enabled finally TO inter
dwell in the two spheres. material and spiritual
and Is thus enabled 10 obtain spiritual wisdom
directly at lis source and transmit II 10 hls
brethren Of the same degree. This may be an
explanation of the mysteries which you have
frequently asked about
And how long could he have renamed IN
his grave and still been resurrectcd,
Il DO not know he said Perhaps a year;
perhaps indefinite years. When We fully under
stand life We shall understand death
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1906-01-03
VENIRE.
State of Louisiana, Parish of La
fayette, 18th Judicial Dis
trict Court.

List of Grand and Petit Jurors Sc
lected and drawn for service at the
term of the 18th Judicial District
Court in and for the Parish OF Lafay-
cite, beginning on Tuesday, January
9, A. d. 1906.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1906-01-03

See ParkersOn & MOutOn for
any kind of insurance. Eight
years experience.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1906-01-03

I've NdTlcJur
For Identification with an act passed
before me this BIRD day of Dec. A. D..
1905.
(Signed) ORTHER C.. MOUTON,
Notary Public.
Filed and recorded Dec. 20, 1906,
in book Miscellaneous Acts E 3, page
(Signed) F. K. HOPKINS,
Deputy Clerk of Court.
STATE OF LOUISIANA,
Parish of Lafa yette.
I hereby certify the above and fore
going to be a true and correct copy
Of the original IN file and of record
in my Office.
Witness my hand and seal at Lafa-
yette. La, Dec. 26, 1905.
(Signed) F. K. HOPKINS,
Deputy Clerk of Court.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1906-01-03
ARTrCLE VIII.

Members Of the Board of Directors
shall have the power to vote by proxy
q any nesting of the Board Of
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1906-01-03

List of Petit Jurors drawn for ser
vice for the week beginning on Mon
day, January ID, 1906.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1906-11-06
NEARING THE POLE.

Commander Robert z. Peary, of the
United States navy, has the honor of
planting the American flag nearer the
north pole than any other Arctic ex-
plorer. His brief dispatch sent by
way Of Labrador to Herbert I. Bridg-
man, Of Brooklyn, tells in few words
a story Of adventure worthy Of COM
parlson with the deeds Of Franklin.
Kane and Amunsden.
He left New York for the north pole
In the Roosevelt. July 16, 1905. He
wintered on the north coast Of Green
land and in February get out in
sledges for his destination. Then he
reached 81 degrees, minutes north
latitude over Ice drifting steadily east
ward. That tells the result. He was
delayed by open water between 81
and s5 degrees and incurred further
delay of six days beyond the 85th de.
gree.
He does not admit defeat. 1t woult
not become an American seaman tc
do 90. But It may be inferred thai
the sledge method has failed and tina
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1906-11-06

there is no unbroken overland ice
route to the north pole. Peary came
within three degrees Of the pole,
about 2OS miles, but it is evident that
he he'd met an open sea, in which the
floating ice alone provided highway
for himself, his sledge and dogs.
As Peary and his crew ate eigh,
dogs on his return trip it is plain tina;
they We're in hard need of food.
Pcary's homeward voyage was, he
says, an "incessant battle with ice.
storms and headwinds." He adds
that the Roosevelt is a magnificen;
ice fighter and sea boat" He also
says: mo deaths or sickness in the
expedition" This is perhaps the best
news of all.
Herbert l. Bridgman, who has re-
ce'ved this dispatch from Labrador
is a Brooklyn, n. Y. newspaper man
who has with rare, heroic devotion
manifested the firmest confidence in
Peary's pluck and endurance. He
has aided him in his work and has
now the satisfaction of having pro-
NOTED one of the bravest efforts to
reach the north pole, where human
foot has ncver trod
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1906-11-06

pie. Ambassador Tower himself is
reputed to have a very large fortune.
But just now American society in
Berlin is impatiently waiting the COM
ing of Spencer Eddy the new first
secretary. The special cause of inter-
est in Mr.. Eddy is that he comes from
his last post in st. Petersburg with "a
reputation for magnificent living"
that he has "seven automobiles" and
that since leaving st. Petersburg he
has married Miss Spreckels, the San
Francisco heiress of the famous sugar
family
The second secretary at Berlin is
Robert Garrett, Baltimore million
aire in his own right while the third
secretary Nelson O'Shaughnessy, is
the son of New York corporation
lawyer. said to be worth more millions
still.-The Argonaut.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1906-11-06
BATTLING WITH HEARTACHE.

once upon a time there was most
torturesome evil spirit called Heart
ache.
Everybody dreaded him because he
did all he could to destroy Happiness
and he could make himself invisible
and he was so elusive that nobody
ever saw him.
He fed on tender hearts and laugh
ed hard when he'd make anyone groan
and suffer by digging them with one
of the many weapons with which he
was always we'll supplied.
All around his house hung his in
st-uments of torture. Deceit and In
justice and Unfaithfulness and Loneli-
ness and many others.
And when this terrible evil spirit
would start out on journey for the
purpose of assassinating Contentment
he would choose one of his favorite
weapons and creep stealthily up be-
hind the door Of the Heart, and, at
the first opportunity of even being
able to crawl through a crack, he'd
jump at the chance.
But the enemies of Heartache grew
tired Of his miserable wrong doing
and decided to Join forces to fight
him. So Love and Kindness and Re
spect and all the other good folks OF
that Land of Throbs, combined
strength and stood ever ready to over
come the wicked spirit and his band
of confederates.
And listen Let me tell you that
they are all fighting still and they
will he fighting forever and ever, for
wicked Heartache has many million
times more lives than anyone could
kill, but the good enemies drive him
from one Hearts door to another and
perhaps, after a while, he'll get 81
tired Of going from place to place
that he'll vanish and then the Land
of Throbs will be happy ever after
Anna McCabe in Denver Post.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1906-11-06
PENDLETON Is UNIQUE.

Teudleton has received a gift which
no other town in eastern oregon has
ever received, and few in Oregon.
Two gifts, in fact, one of $4,000 and
one of $4,000, have been made to
Pendleton academy the first for the
purchase of a girls dormitory which
is now filled to overflowing and the
second of $4,000 for the erection Of
bows Gormitory.
The second gift. that of $4,000, is
cintingent upon the raising of like
amount by the academy for a susie
nance fund. The raising of this fund
is now in progress and there is not
the slightest doubt that the boys dor
mitory will be built and ready for use
at the opening of the 1907 school
yeay. with the $4,000 given to the
institution by W. w Brown, of Crook
county.
Pendleton is thus placed in a unique
position in eastern Oregon. She is
thereby made the school center of
this section of the state. Her dormi-
tories will be filled with pupils from
every eastern Oregon county and the
gifts of Mr.. and Mrs Koontz and W.
W. Brown will ripen into sterling
manhood and womanhood in the fu-
ture.
II is up to Pendleton to fulfill her
part Of this unique and splendid pro-
gram.
Nothing can be conceived which
will give the city greater impetus,
greater hold on life and greater con-
fidence, than the establishment of
excellent schools. 1t will bring here
a solid citizenship, direct the eyes of
other counties this way and link Pen
dleton with many homes in the re-
mote sections Of eastern Oregon.
Pendleton academy and St. Joseph's
academy, both well patronized and
both meriting patronage. will be to-
Pendleton what Whitman college is to
Walla Walla in time.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1906-11-06
HOTEL PORTLAND
PORTLAND, OREGON.

PORTLAND, OREGON.
American plan, SO per day and up-
ward. Headquarters for tourists and
commercial travellers. Special rates
made to families and single gentie-
men. The management will be pleas
ed at all times to show rooms ana
give prices. A modern Turkish bath
establishment in the hotel.
Fl. G. BOWERS. Manager.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1906-11-06

The East Oregonian u Eastern Orc
gon's representative paper. II loads
and the people appreciate II and show
II by their liberal patronage. Il h
the advertising medium OF this section.