davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-23

scandal as it is now. A man shakes his
wife in wan State on'y to be grabbed
be her an led home tn minnyit he
crosses tn border. There's no safety
f'r amy wan. In some places it's al
most impossible FIR Il man to get RID
iV his family onless he has good raj
son. There's no regularity at all about
il. In Kentucky badness is grounds FIR
divorce; in. Ohio tn inclemency iv tn
weather. In l.linye a woman can De
freed firm tn CALM bonds ~ nathri-
mony because her husbands wears Con-
gress CATERS; in Wisconsin tn old man
can get his maiden name back because
his wife tells fortunes in tn taycup.
'In Nebrasky tn shackles ARE bust
ed because father forgot to wipe his
Knows a Judge in South Dakota. Ye
can be divorced FIR anything if ye
know where to lodge tn complaint.
Among tn grounds ARE snorin'. def
ness, because wan Nv tn parties drinks
an tn other doesn't, because wan don't
dhrink an tn other does. because they
both dhrink, because TIL husband is
lOSin' his teeth, because tn wife is ad-
dicted to sick headaches, because he
asked her what she did with that last
$40 he gave her, because he knows
some wan else, because she injyes tn
society iv TIL young, because he frgot
t. wind tn clock, because she wears a
switch. A husband can get a divorce
because he has more money thin he
had; a wife because lie has less. Ye
can always ger a divorce FIR what Ho-
gan calls inccmpatibility iv temper.
That's whin husband an wife ARE
both cross at tn same time. Ye'd call
it a tiff in ye'er family, Hinnissy.
But mind We, none iv these reasons
go in amy two States. A man that
wants to be properly divorced so
there's no danger whin he crosses tn
river at CincinEaty that he'll have to
wheel tn baby carredge that give MIN
his freedom will have u start OIL. an
40 tour iv our great Raypublic. An
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-23
MAGAZINE SECTION.

'WelI, SIR said Mr. Dooley. 81 see
they've been holdin' a Divorce Con-
gress."
whats that?" asked Mr.. Hennessy.
aye wudden't know" said Mr.. Dooley.
''Divoorce is tn on'y luxury supplied be
tn law that we don't injye in Ar-rchey
Road. Up here whin marrid- couple
get to tn pint where tits impossible FIR
thin to go on livin' together they go on
Twin together. They feel that way
some mornin' in ivry month, but tn
next day finds thin still glarin' At each
other over tn ham an eggs. No wife
iver laves her husband while he has tn
breath iv life in him, an amy gintle-
man that took thrip to 500 Falls in
ordher to saw off tn housekeepin' eX-
pinses ON a rash successor wud find
tlIrouble ready FIR him whin he came
back TO Ar-rchey Road. No, Sir, whin
cur people grab hands at tn altar,
they're hooked up frivcr. Marredge
with us is life sintinoe at hard LABOR.
There's on'y wan decree Nv divorce
that tn neighbors will recognize. an
that's tn wan that entities ye 10 ride
just behind tn pail bearers. That's
why I'm batch. 'Tis tn fine skylark
~ a timprary husband ia make. bring
fin home a new wife 1vry Foorth w
July an dischargin' tn old wan with
out eharackter. But tn customs "
tn neignbors are agin it.
But it's different with others. Hin
Missy. Down be Michigan AvnOc mar
redge is no more bindin' thin a dhream.
A short marrId life an an onnappy wan
is their motto. Off with tn old love
en- on with tn new an off with that
TIL death US do part says tn preach
or or tn jury" whispers tn blushfn'
bride.
9Th, Divorce Congress, Hinnissy.
that I'm tellin' We about was assem-
bled to make tn laws iv all tn States
on divorce tn same. It's n tur-rble
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-23

be tn time he's thurly released he may
want to do it all over again with tn
second choice iv his wild, glad heart.
1T wud be a grand thing if 1t cud be
Strengthened cut. TIL laws ought to be
tn same ivrywhere. IN amy part "
this fair land iy ours il Stud be tn
right iy amy man to get a divorce,
with aiimony, simply be goin' before a
Justice iv tn Peace an maxim an affi-
davit that tn lady's face had grown
too bleak>f'r his taste. Be Hivens. I'd
go farther. Rather than have people
endure this sarvichood Id let amy
man escape by jumpin' tn conthracI.
All he'd have to do if / was r-runnin-
this Governmint wud be TO put some
clothes in tn grip, write note to his
wife that afther thinkiE' it over FIR
forty years he had made I'D his mind
that his warm nature was not suited
to narredge with tn mother iv so
NANNY iv his childer, an go out to re-
turn no more.
Il don't know much about marrid
life, except what we tell HE an what I
r-read in tn pa-apers- But 1t must
be sad. All over this Land onhappiiy
mated couples ar-re sufferin' now an
thin almost as much as if they Ead a
silver I'm their thumb or slight head
ache. TIL misfortunes Nv these people
ARE beyond beifet say, 1lnnlSSy- IL
is tn jooty iv tn law to marcifuiiy re-
lease thin. Ye take tn case OF me frinl
firm Coke City that / was readiD' about
tn other day. There was a martyr f'r
ye Poor fellow Me eyes filled with
tears thinkin' about him. Whfn a
young man he marrid. He was fire
man in thin days, an tn ohjict w MS
etarnaI affection was TIL daughter iv
tn most popular saloon keeper In town.
A great socyal gulf opened between
thin He had fine prospects ~ ivin-
chooly bein' promoted to two-fifty a
day, but she was heiress to a cellar full
iv Monongahela rye an pool table,
an her parents objected. because iv tn
difference in their positions. But love
such as his is not to me denied Til
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-23
MAGAZINE SECTION.
Mr.. DOOLEY ON DIVORCE 97E 1aaa.l
BY F. p. Dunno

divorce is it always let's out Nv th'
bad bargain tn wan that made it bad.
If owned a half in a payin' business
with We. I'd niver let tn sun go down
on a quarrel he says. But If We had a.
bad month I'd go into coort an wrig-
gle cut iv tn partnership because ye're
a cantankerous old villain that no wan
cud get on with he says.
Z" IF people knew they cudden't get
away firm each other they'd settle
down to life, just as / determined to
ike coal smoke whin I found tn col
lection wasn't big enough to put a new
chimbley in tn parrish house. I've ac-
chally got to like it, he says. There
amt amy condition Nv human life
that's not endurabIe il We make up yeer
mind that we've got to endure it, he
says. TIL throuble with tn rich,' he
SAYS, is this, that Whin a ricn man has
perfectly nachral scrap with his be-
loved over breakfast, she stays at home
an does nawthin' but think about it.
an he goes out an does nawthin' but
think about it, an that afthernoonl
they're in their lawyers Office. he says.
But whin a poor gintleman an a poor
lady fall out, the poor lady puts all her
anger into rubin tn zinc of tn wash
boord an tn poor gintleman aises his
be murdhrin' a Stag pile with a shovel,
an be tn time night comes ar-round he
saws to himsilf: well, I've got to gol
home anyhow, an it's no use I shudI
be unhappy because I'm misjudged, VI
an he puts q pound iv candy into hisi
coat pocket an goes home an finds her
standin' at tn dure with a white aproni
on an some new ruching around hers
neck he says.
AN there We ARE. Two opinions. ri
ST see on'y wan" said Mr.. Hennessy.i
What do ye raaly Think"
az think" said Mr.. Dooley. "K peoples
wanted to be divorced I'd let thin, butt
I'd give tn childher tn custody ~ TIL
parents. They'd larn thin to behave 81
Copyright, 1906, by H. H. Mcclure al
Company
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-23

She had taught him to Tread, but he
had gone on an taken what Hogan
calls tn post-grajate coorse- Women
get all their book larnin' befure mar
redge; men afther. Shed been pretty
active about tn childher while he was
pickin' up more iddycaton in tn way
iv business than she'd liver dhream Nv
KNOWN She had tn latest news about
tn throuble in tn Methodist church.
but he had a private wire into his Of
fice
"a life spint in nourishin' tn young,
Hinnissy, while fine to read about, isn't
amy kind iv beauty reStOrer, an I've
get to tell We that tn lady prob'bly
looked dif'rent fri tn gazelle he used
to whistle three times FIR whin he wint
by on Number Iliven. It's no aisy thing
to rock tn cradle with wan hand an
ondylate tn hair with another. Be tn
time he was gettin' out iy tn sellin
class in New York she was siowin'
was decidedly dissimilar. says tn pa
aDer. Time was whin he carrid tn
wash pitcher down to tn corner FIR a
quart iv malt while she handled tn
baby an fried tn round steak at tn
same time. That day was past. She
hadn't got to tn pint where she cud
dhrink champagne an keep it out iv
her nose IN SaSSln years had i'm
paired all possible foundations FIR a
new crop iv hair. Sometimes conversa-
ton Jagged.
Coke City lovely haunt " tn thrust
as 1t isl is a long way firm tn Casino.
TIL last successful exthravaganza that
tn lady had. seen was a, lecture be
Jawn b. Cough. She got her Eyetalian
Opry out Nv music box What was
there FIR this jOynt intelleck an this
household tyrant to talk about? No
wondher he pinned. Think iv this Light
iv tn TenderlOin bein' compelled to set
down ivry month or two an chat about
new tooth that hiven had just stint
to family up tn sthreet, Nor was
that all. She give him no rest. Time
an time again she asked him was he
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-23

facter, who needed the Money because
he had Just been ruled off by the Stew
ards, consented to act
The Keeper of one of the incest all
night Oyster Houses in town was named
as stakeholder, and the timekeeper
was to be One-eyeds Dickery. who had
grown so stout that he could no longer
crawl through transoms end who was
in urgent need of a Bit 90 that ne could
buy railroad Ticket to ona of the
Southern tracks.
Then the question arose, Who was to
get the rake-of Cor the Pictures?
Tells Manager insisted that Billy
was entitled TO at least 10 per cent,
Nghereupon the Club Officials said that
he WIS Wolf and threatened to call
the whole Deal off
AS result there was more Converse
ton of the nor-parlor variety and the
great eager Populace became sick at
heart for fear that they would never
have the privilege of paying Ten Tor a
seat to see the Worlds Champion in
action.
But at last everybody Signed and the
Autographs were all over town, and
the Scalpers were buying Up the Tick
cts, and the twelve o'clock Special
came out every day with some throb-
biEg pieces of Information regarding
William and what he had to say about
the Skates who were putting uD money
against him.
Every time he walked down the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-23

bold sutton won. Together they eloped
to Pittsburg an were marrid.
''F''r a short time all wint wefi. They
lived together happily f'r twinty years
an raised wan iv tn Dopylous families
iv people who expect to be supported
in their old days. TIL impechuse lover,
spurred on be tn desire 20 make good
with his queen, slugged, cheated, an
wurruked his way to tn head iv TIL.
railroad. He was no longer Greasy
Bill, tn Oil Can, but William Aitch Big
gems tn Prince iv 1ndusthree. All tn
different kinds iv money he liver heerd
iv rolled into him, large money an
small other peoples money, money he q
labored FIR and money he'd wished FIR
Whin he set in his office countIn' it ne
often left a call FIR tin o'clock FIR fear
he might be dhreamin an not get 20
tn roundhouse on time. But. bein' an
American citizen, he sooT Ce,t as sure
iv himsilf as though he'd got it all in
tn Probate Coort, an tn arly Sprins
saw him on n private car speedin- 10
New York, tn home iv Mirth. He was
raycieved with open arms be ivry wan
in that great city that nnew-the COM
bynation iv tn safe. He WAS taken r-r
yacht rides be his fellow Kings iv FL
rance He was In principal guest iv
honor at a modest but tasteful dinner.
where there was large ARTIFICIAL lake
iv champagne into which tn rua1p-ny
cud dive. He became tn prize package
iv tn Waldorf In tn or'y part iv New
York We liver read about--ar-re there no
churches or homes in New York, but
on'y hotels, night restaurants. an pooi-
rooms Pin tn cn'y part Nv New York
We read about he cud be seen amy
night sittin' where tn lights cud fall on
his bald but youthful head. An little
Angelica Gumdrop, tn lady next TO tn
end iv tn first row on TIN right, lcoked
on him with those big eyes iY hers that
said so little an meant how much.
"An' how was it all this time in dear
old Coke City? 1t is painful to say
that tn lady to whom our frind was
tied FIR life had not kept pace with him.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-23

comm home that night She tortured
his proud spirit be recalIin' tn time
whin she used to flag him firm tn win
dow Nv tn room where papa had locked
her in. She even wint so far as to
dhraw on him tn last COW rdly weapon
iv brutal wives-their tears. One time
she thraveled to New York an wan iv
his frinds seen her. Oh, it was crool,
crool. Hinnissy, tell me, wud We con-
dim this great man to such a slavery
just because he'd made rash promise
whin he didn't have a clint in tn wur-
ruld? TIL law said no. Whin tn gr-
reat fnancier cud stand ii no longer he
called upon tn judge to sthrike off TIL
chains an make him a free man. He
got a divorce"
ST dare We to come down to my
house an say thin things" said Mr.
Hennessy.
ooh, L know ye don't agree with me-
said Mr.. Dooley. "Nayether does Fa-
Their Kelly. He's got it into his head
that whin a mans marrid he's marrid,
an that's all there is to it. He puts
his hand in tn grab-bag an pulls out
a blank an he don't get his money
back. Ill-mated coupies?' says he. Ill
mated couples? What ar-re ye taIkin'
about2 Are there amy other kinds
Are there amy two people in tn wur-
ruld that ARE perfectly mated?' he
says. Was there liver a frindship that
was anything more thin a kind iv
suspension bridge between quarrels p
he says. In ivry branch Nv life,' says
he, we leap firm scrap to scrap he
says. I'm wan iv tn est-timpered
men in tn wurruld, am 1 not? eye are
not says H. I'm wan iv tn kindest Nv
mortals,' he says, but put ME in tn
same house with Saint TorOnoa he
says. an there'd be at Taste wan day
in tn month whin I'd answer his last
wurrud be slammin' tn dure behind
me- he says. Man is nachrally a fight
in an quarrelin' animal with his wife.
TIL soft answer don't always turn
away wrath, Sometimes it makes it
worse he says. TIL throuble about
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-23

fused to sign unless they gave in to
him, and so it was stipulated that he
could shoot at his own Son, although
it was agreed by many Sporting
Writers that this gave him a big ad-
vantage.
IT seemed that they were about to
come to terms when Tell turned -
Gessler and asked, How about the
ADDle?"
let the Club furnish the Apple" "
suggested Gessler.
The reason that Mr.. Gessler made
such a bold stand for the rights of the
Club was that he owned the controll-
ing interest and was trying TO think of
some way of grabbing the. champion s
performance.
II must have a Beethoven apple,
said Mr.. Tell, very firmly. i have
always shot at Beethoven apples when
l am in training. ] consider the Bell
flower apple the finest in the world,
and what IS more have been given a
Diamond Pin by the Bellflower Com
pany and I am going to protect them
and give them a little Aid"
Il am sorry" said Mr.. Gessler, Out
have Friend who is agent for the
Rambo apple, which has got the Bell
flower skinned. promised him that
we would use the Rambo and I can't
give him the Toss just because you
want to ring i'm a cheap Apple on me.
/ have got to stand by my friend. and
| If we don't use the Rambo apple there
won't be any Match, and what 1 say
goes
That started the Scrap all over
again.
They called each other names, put
on their 2sasoeots and started out
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-23

Gessler remarked that William had
a yellow streak about as wide as Penn
sylvania avenue, and with that the
two eminent Apostles of Sport tried to
close in and do a little bar-room work.
1t took six walters and a cashier to
spread them. OF course all this GOT
into the Public Prints and helped to
grouse a terrific interest in the pro-
posed event.
Every one understood, of course. that
Gessler and William would finally get
together and pull off the big show
but not until they had touched off ali
the preliminary Press Stuff
So William came out every dav and
said that Gessler was a soiled Deuce
and a Tin-Horn and a 40 cent Make
Believe and a beetle-browed Fish, and
as crooked as dogs hind leg.
Next day, after one of these Roasfs.
the celebrated Politician and Sporting
Man would come back by saying that
his money was up and that Tell was
trying to put through a Bluff and that
he couldn't hit a Balloon if somebody
held the Balloon, and as for crooked
work. straight edge run through Will
liam's Record would cut il i'm a thou
sand places
The two Luminaries in the world of
Manly Sport went ahead lambasting
each other for months and getting the
fool Public SO worked up that 1t could
hardly take its regular Sleep.
The first thing every morning the
Office Boy and the Girl i'm the Shirt
Factory and the Lady Cashier In the
quick-lunch room and the Guy that
drove the Big Wagon for Coal Com
pany had to grab the one cent paper
with the calliope headlines and find
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-23

William Tell was a great performer
on the bow and arrow.
While he was still quite young it was
evident that he would take Medals
sooner or later. and he was approached
by many institutions of Learning and
was offered his expenses but William
continued to be a Pure Amateur until
he saw some Important Money in sight.
At last he held the record and his
Picture was In all the barber-shop
Weeklies and he had some special cards
printed and Joined the EIks.
About the time that ne got into his
stride and was shooting close to the
four hundred mark he had some trou-
BILE with Governor Gessler, who was the
Loud Noise in Politics and very Strong
on account of having control of the
Meal Tickets.
William had said in an Interview-that
Gessler ought TO be driving a truck,
and the Governor called in the report
ers and said that the big four-flush
who had been opposing him i'm the
Eighth Precinct of the Fourth Swiss
Canton was a cheap Sport and a
phoney Marksman.
This attack angered William and his
fellow members of the Precinct Organi-
cation. who got out among the voters
and roasted the Governor. and offered
10 bet money on their man, where
upon the Governor began talking back
in very large Sums, and, of course,
that had to lead up to a Match.
William met Gessler in wine room
to sign the Articles and they used up
a large amount of Talk.
William said he was the Champion
and would draw all the Gate Money
and he wanted IS of the Gross, win or
lose
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-12-23

out what the Great Champion had to
say.
In the course of time GessIer and
William got together for another nice
long Quarrel.
If they had signed articles on the
Jump they would not have been real
Sports.
william pounded on the Table. told
how he was the greatest Card in the
World, and to prove that he was ready
to back his opinion with the Coin he
would agree to shoot an Apple off a
Bows Head before the Club offering
the largest Purse.
Also a side bet of any amount I'D to
a million. to be deposited with some
vell-kuown Sporting Editor-also the
Diamond Belt.
Gessler agreed to this Proposition, but
insisted that the Club furnish the Bow
and Arrow. Whereupon Tell denounced
him as an ordinary piece of Gorgon-
zola and once more Negotiations were
suspended.
However. some of the influential
Friends of the two great men, knowing
that the plain every day Common Peo-
pie would never feel happy until the
big Match was arranged. used theil
best efforts and there was a third con-
| ference. Gessler said he was willing
to take the short end of the Agree
ment in order to show up the CHEAP
Limitation who was claiming the Cham
pionship. So Tell was given the priv.
| lege of using his own Bow and Arrow
Then there arose a long argument
regarding the Boy. Tell wanted tc
furnish his own Boy. but Gesslel
wanted to use one picked and fur
nished by the Club, or selected by q
Committee. William bucked and re-
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1906-06-09
summons.

In the District Court of the Fourth
Judicial District of the Territory of
Arizona, in and for the County of
Navajo.
Carey Higley Mcintosh, Plaintiff, VS.
George 4. Mcintosh, Defendant
Summons No. l79.
The Territory of Arizona sends greet
ing to George A. Mcintosh.
You are hereby summoned and re-
quired to appear in civil action
brought against you by the above
named plaintiff in the District Court
of the Fourth judicial District, in and
for the Navajo County, Territory of
Arizona, and answer the complaint
filed with this Court at Holbrook, in
said County, "a copy of which com
plant accompanies this summons)
within twenty days, exclusive of the
day of service) after the service upon
you of this summons, if served within
the County. Ia all other cases thirty
days.
And you are hereby notified that if
you fail to appear and answer the COM
plant as above required, the plaintiff
will take judgment by default against
you.
Given under my hand and the seal
of the said District Court at Hol-
brook, Arizona, this 18th day of May,
A. D. 1906.
Seal w. B. WOODS,
11-20. Clerk.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1906-06-09
Program for the Fourth.

Below is submitted program
of events for the Fourth of July
as compiled by the committee.
[. Grand fantastic parade
headed by the Winslow Brass
Band, assembling at the Opera
House at $50, marching about
the city and thence to the race
track and ball grounds. Prize
to be given to the best costume
and one to the best float.
.. At race track and ball
grounds at 10 a. m, match game
of base ball, Winslow VS. FIT.
Apache.
3. 1:30 p. m, 100 yds. dash,
free for all
f. Burro race for boys under
II (slow race
). . p. m, match game of
base ball, WinslOW VS.. Needles.
8. Trotting race, l mile, free
for all
I. Indian pony race, J mile.
8. Saddle race, free for all,
/ nile.
g. Indian pony race l mile.
10. Steer tieing.
II. Indian foot race, 200 yds.
II. Relay race, mile, sad
die.
10. Bronch busting.
II. Chicken pulling.
Is. Fire works in the even
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1906-06-09
Deadly Serpent Bites

are as common in India as are
stomach and liver disorders with
US. For the latter however
there is sure remedy: Electric
Bitters; the great restorative
medicine. of which S. A. Brown,
of Bennettsville, S. c., says:
"'They restored my wife to per
feet health. after years of suffer
ing with dyspepsia and d chron-
ically torpid liver" Electric
BitterS cure ChillS aud fever.
malaria, 5iliOusneSs. lame back.
kidney troubles and bladder dis,
orders. Sold on guarantee by
all druggists. Price SOC.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1906-06-09
LETTER LIST.

The following is list OF
letters remaining unCalled for
in the Winslow post Office June
9, 1906:
j. F. Clayton, j r, Edyhull +,
B. Hiles, F. Hayden, Dolph L.
Jasper Jones, Minerva Win.
MEXICAN LIST
Roberta Magma. Lewis Cas-
tro. DiOniSO CanO. Ramon Rive
no. ClarO Macias. Margarth Fa-
lentine, Clnterio, ROSaIer, Limo
Fuentez, Jose Silva. Jesus Ag-
nilar, Miguel Marques, Geroni-
mo Rules. CenObiO Luevano,
Jose Ortez. Juan Cha bes. Mar
siso Erera. Juan Martinez
JULIA MAHONEY. p. NJ.
The Winslow mail. (Winslow, Ariz.) 1893-1926, 1906-06-09
CLOSING OUT SALE.

On account of i'll health Mrs.
Nellie E. Bruce & Co will close
out their stock of millinery and
ladies' and children's furnish
ing goods.
Beginning Saturday morning.
June the I'd, we will give ! off
on all millinery and bedrock
prices on everything else in
stock. Call and look things
over.
NELLIE e. BRUCE & co.