The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-06-05
A Wonderful Fishing Yarn


Early the other morning, some one
oreathed tale into the ears OF the
village about a marvellous trout on ex
1ibiti0n al the home of VIII White,
md the male population, who love fish.
ng and despise liars climbed the long
Mills towards Mr. Whites home to ex.
anime the rnmor and the trout
"One of Bits boys told me the trout
weighed as much as small ham and
was so long he couldn't turn in the
creek without backing up and curying
mis- tail like carpet beaten a fat man
said, az he climbed over barbed wire
fence leaving his coat tails as relics
consigned with appropriate language.
bits boy, Fred, caught him. an he
told me sartin that the fish weighed
confusion and perdition." a breathess
enthusiast yelled. as he slipped on
wet stone and skinned his eye on an
apple tree.
Fish stories is fish stories" pious
church member commented, but boys
should be taught to stick to the truth.
The deacon stuck to nail on the top
Of Jake Dietchs pasture fence mo.
ment afterwards. and member OF the
| congregation felt impelled, as he
helped him down to say I'm sorry
for your language deacon"
"Yaas, but you don't give a darn for
my trousers. Them's what count In
prayer meetings or in society,"" the
deason said, in a panied way.
"Bll told me on his word OF honor
that ere fish weighed close onto five
pounds exact by Malcolm's scales
wheezy man declared as he wiped
strip of plowed land from his face and
took chew of tobacco as an antidcte.
"Hee-nee-hee-ha w." the crowd roared
in dArision,
1T sounds like Maud coming" Mr.
White commented as he took his eyes
off the fish and scanned the horizon
A score of village folks thronged
around. Beyond from the valley the
trail was still dotted with an advanc.
ing procession. Hello Where in
thunders the funeral?" Bill asked.
I'VE heard an amazing rumor and
we've come to investigate" the crowd
cried.
We want the truth. all of 1t. and
nothing but+-ki-yl-yii Call that dog
off," the man win the missing coat
tails yelled, as he jumped a clstern, a
cider barrel and a chicken coop.
'Were determined in the matter,
amt We. boys?' the deacon said, sol.
EMMY as he got behind the fat man.
The crowd roared approval Bill be-
gan to look frightened "It's a mis-
take boys" ne gasped. "He wasn't
hooked on Sunday. He was hooked on
the Cassvile fats
Bring him out; weigh him up the
crowd ordered.
IF he doesn't weigh two pounds
Wen mob you.' the slim enthusiasts
shouted as he waved one hand to.
wards the sun and distracted the
wheezy mans plug tobacco with the
other. The crowd reared approval.
Bill got the scales. His face had a Pc
culiar smile, brook trout smile. gid
ed with spring sunshine. growing JOY
and stray particles of shaving soap.
Then he got the fish and placed 1t
gently on the scales. The crowd
gasped when they saw It, A long
breath of amazement ran through them
with a sound like that of bulldog
going through pea vines after cat.
The weight slid along pound after
pound until the bar trembled wayered.
balanced
Five pounds, three ounces" Bill
said, simply. like hero who didn't
want pension.
A hush deep and wonderful. fell
upon the crowd Then the fat man
said: 'Well, I'm d."
Never mind" the deacon interrupt
ed. We've had variety enough for the
Sabbath. Hold an autopsy, Doc, an
give us the symptoms.
DR.. Dewing diagnosed the trout and
twenty-five inches long.
two and half inches thick, rather thin
and starved looking, probably suffered
from dyspepsia, caused by eating froz-
IN frogs during the winter. Normal
weight in good health should have been {
At least eight pounds. An out-and-out
trout, perfectly spotted, beautifully !.
formed and worthy of an honorable 7
grave"
(Which he'll get, by thunder and
creased lightning" Bill said. expand.
ng his bosom in a proud way.
The village professor quoted Greek
III the way back TO the village. His
language may have been justifable."
he deacon afterwards confided to his
wife. "but it sounded mighty suspl. y
,ious." =
at was the dumdest trout ever q
.aught in these parts" the fat man II
aid. Everybody agreed with him. II Il
vas unanimous. 1t was wonderful 7
{ was true. =.
The Difference. II
A. II. Kirkland, of Boston, Is con- 4.
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