The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-09-10
DISCOVERIES LIVE
IN SALT LAKE CITY
EmulatOrs of Columbus Appear
in County Attorneys and
Sheriff's Offices.
HANSON THE MAN WITH
THE TELESCOPE EYE
Wise Guy Gives Away Some
Secrets Regarding Several
County Officials.

1.-THE lineal descendents of ole Chris.
topher Columbus said the Wise Guy,
as he accepted the last remnant OF the
historians salary, ''must be ahame
with envy to find that there are others
right here IN Salt Lake a-sharin' the
honors with their distinguished ancestor
iff g bunch is them same. When it gets
down to sweepin' the political and in
dustrial horizon for flaws in the body
polite, and sich, Willard is sure the boy
with the telescope eye. Look at him
a-discoverin' that Luke and Durand has
been a-graftin and a-conspIrin to loot
the down-trodden and debt-ridden son
of toll, whose vote is needed ut the
comm election. Or course, all the
schoolboys in the State has long since
got done talkin' about the raw work
of this brace of grafters, but what diff
ference does that make? | maintain
that Willard, with the aid and encour-
agement he has received from Emery
and his pack of political patriots, is en-
titled TO the credit of discoverin that
the Durand-Luke combination Is no
scheme of salvation.
Willard Put Him Wise.
"You may think, - continued the
Wise Guy, ''that this sort Of work by
the Assistant County Attorney and the
Sheriff is too raw to bring about the
desired results; Not so. [ thought so
myself until Willard put me wise, I
Gawd S sake, take tumble. You GER
tainly can't fugre that dope like that
will catch any thinkin' voter Think
in voter?' says he, 'We amt figurin
on no thinkin' voters at this stage of
the game. That discovery of mine was
intended to corral the dub as don t do
no thinkin'. It's him we re after with
that particular bait. There's few of
him still a-lingerin around this town
startlin' discovery will yank him into
the fold. In the case of that stampedin'
horde of renegades as is a-gettin stub
born and insistin on doln their own
thinkin' we II have to mix up some diff
ferent dope. m a-thinkin about de-
nouncin the hierarchy or splittin with
ole. Emery, or somethin' or other, to
make myself popular. This is under
scandal-mongers as is everlastingly in
terferin with my honest efforts to get
mine out of the public crib. -
Another Transparent Fake.
"You IL observe" the Wise GUY
went on, "that Farley P. is not goin'
to be outdone by Willard and the Sher-
if in the matter of maxim a prize
winnin political bungler of himself.
Note that transparent fake he got off
on morning paper Sunday about his
withdrawn from the Congressional
fight in consideration Of being handed a
Federal job, and tryin' to make it ap-
pear that he and Howell and Smoot
framed the thing up months ago in
Washington. AS he sees that Congress
sional nomination gettin' further and
further away from him, Farley wakes
desperate and it S now his scheme to
create the impression that he was called
to the National capital to furnish the
real brains in programmin' the work
ahead OF the Smoot gang in Utah, It's
the Joke of the season-that crack O.
hls n about steppin out o the way, ex-
cept IN his own dreams.
Say, you We often had occasion TO
listen to my plaintive appeal for the
price Of a stimulant. Now. I want to |
ask 1T you ever heard me put up as piti-
ful and cringing a beggary spiel for |
help as the Smoot sheet put up to the |
public Sunday morning, 1t was like |
a drownded man holerin' for a rome |
Even Willard, who has ice water in his |
VEINS instead of blood, when he got |
through readin' that doleful supplica-
ton for dollar subscription, he handed |
me two-bit piece TO take to the editor.
Why don t you send him the whole dol.
lar to pay for the paper up to Novem-
ber 151' says I.
sWisey. says he, they ain t no
testimony before the court to Indicate
that the bloomin' sheet will last till
November 15. -