davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
JAYHA WKER JOTS

You wouldn't suppose a Kansan
would bite on such a proposition, yet
1t is alleged that a Downs girl who sent
a dollar to Chicago to find out about a
ceiyed the reply, Keep of the grass
Old Bill Shiftless dropped into town
today on his way to the 9th, says the
Osborne Farmer. Bill left his wife at
| home, because he says the 27th is no
place Tor g. woman. Bill goes every
year. He says that he meets so many
of his old friends there that It is really
his only holiday of the year. Last year
Mrs. Shiftless gave Bill a picture of
the baby to give to her sister, who was
there. Bill early got busy trading
quarters for cold ones down by the
river and forgot about the picture, sis
ter and everything else. Two weeks
later Mrs. Shiftless found the remains
of the picture in Bills pocket. She
expressed disappointment and Bill
yelled back: Thunder, q man can't
think of everything" Mr.. Shiftless
thinks he will start to pillow next week.
Bent Murdoch has been skylarkfng
around in the oil belt and he writes
this home from Coffeyville; tCoffey-
Vile is too swift. Too much rush and
push and jostle to suit me, SO / will
not take up my future abode IN this
town. When we first visited southeast
Kansas, there was nothing IN sight but
prairie grass and sunshine. Since then
they have found most everything: coal
and coal oil. zinc, lead, cement, ire
clay for bricks, glass, sand and natural
gas to furnish the fuel for the motive
power The possibilities of this region
can not be estimated; and that a good
many people are improving the OPP
portunity is in evidence everywhere.
This town of CoffeyvilIe is quite city.
It makes and sells millions of dollars
worth of things every year. it is dis
tributing point for goods, while it is in
the midst Of a fine farming country.
Colonel w. P. Brown, who drove US
around, owns big farm on the banks
Of the Verdigris river south of town.
He has a big crop of alfalfa on the
surface of the ground. Ten feet be-
low he has lime rock for Portland
cement. A few hundred feet below the
cement he has oceans of petroleum.
Then below that is natural gas. On
the surface of the high point, he is
building a fifty thousand dollar cement
and tiled palace. It beats the bugs.
Men here who had nothing a lew years
ago, now have incomes of from one
hundred dollars to one thousand dol
lars a day: and that many of them are
spending 1t in the way of fine homes,
suburban railways. manufactures and
the like accounts for lively business
conditions. Here is a Kansas country
sixty by eighty miles that is, or ought
to be, wallowing in wealth. Then
south in the Indian Territory. it is just
as good if not better. We will not
mention Caney, Independence. Cherry
vale and other towns we have visited,
as they are all in the swim, about
! alike. We have seen gas wells and oil
wells. We have seen all OF it, are re-
paid for our trip and are about ready
| to skidoo home. This is indeed a Won
derful chunk of Kansas"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
MORE QUESTIONS.

The fertile brain of R. W. Turner of
Mankato, has evolved number of
queries which were showed into the
Kansas political question box through
the State Journal Monday.
All of these questions tend to pro
mote the welfare of the people. They
provoke public discussion: they direct
public attention to these various is
sues; and except where a candidate is
afraid, or is too ignorant and weak
minded to have an opinion or explain
his position, they enable the people to
vote inteuigently for men who repre-
sent their ideas.
In connection with Mr.. Turner's first
question, however. the State Journal
wishes to make an inquiry. His first
question is this:
will you if elected to a legislative
Office work for enactments that will
outlaw all combinations of capital. or
gained in trusts, to control arbi-
trarily the conditions of trade, insur-
ance and transportation among our
people?'
What the State Journal desires to
inquire is this: Us there not now on
the statute books, in the Farrelly anti
trust law, just such a measure as that
described in this question. and is not
/ the crying need for officers who will
enforce that law, rather than for ad-
ditional legislation on the subject?"
Special attention is called to the peo-
pie whom Mr.. Turner represents. He
signs himself as chairman of a crowd
that IS sitting on the fence" It is a
! large and highly respectable aggrega-
ton this year
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
POINTED PAnAeRAPHs.
iron the chicago News.1

Iron the Chicago News
Too many men go through l1fe with
chips on their shoulders.
It's surprising how much attention
women attract from each other.
Even trouble gets disguised with a
lazy man after time and quits.
A man isn't necessarily a millionaire
because he has million air.
After working hard to get mo 1ey6 a
man has to work twice as hard to keep
Just because the worst never happens
some people are greatly disappointed.
What's that, Alonzo-you consider
politics and patriotism synonymous
terms2 Forget It,
A good memory is one that enables q
man to forget the things he doesn't
care to reeollect
II man didn't make an occasional
mistake his fool friends wouldn't have
occasion to criticise him.
You may come out on top. but bear
II mind that the worthless roth IN
glass OF beer does the same.
The woman who realizes she has made
some. other woman Jealous Is satisfied
that she hasn't lived ia vain.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31


f was not ready for him On the contra
~. the captive pleasantly observed:
1ou see, ny dear SIR this experience
y 20 UNUSUAL with me that I must have
a little more time to think it over. At the
end Of another three days I shall doubt
less be prepared to give you a definite
He was told that the three days would
add 800 pounds TO his ransom, but there
retired, the same food and old mattress
were brought in. and as the evening
grew old the prisoner stretched out for q
rest He was falling asleep when he heard
the slSy1ight softly raised. Then he caught
sight Of a head, and heard q voice asking:
x. *. there anybody down there
he realized that the voice belonged to q
are you rich or poor-old or young?s
T am fairly rich, and am g. man 20
THAT won't do said the girl 81 am
an orphan. living. With my aunt in this
anybody he must be young and rich and
ready to marry me- the same as Il is in
the books. am sorry for you, but I
but hold on a minute called the can
tive 7 can't turn myself into & young
man, but can give some nice young man
to the same thing. won't 1t
why. yes; suppose SO. VIII YOU give
8 sounds
Yes, a hundred"
The girl ran away without another word
but 15 minutes later she dropped q rope
down the opening with one end made fast
beside her. He found her a girl Of only
-. but he lowered her literally He did
He did not seek the arrest Of the ex-
p1orer, but wrote him a polite note to say
that, owing to the unforeseen circumstan-
ces, It would be Impossible to make any
the Nile relics. Copyright, 1906, by II. NJ
Cunningham.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
GLOBE SIGHTS.



What has become of the old
fashioned boy who was compelled to
wash his feet before going to bed?
It is possible for a man to know as
much as the greatest philosopher, and
act as foolish as the greatest fool.
II a doctor should make an exami-
nation of you and decide that you
could not live more than six months,
would you want him to tell your
About the time a woman discovers
that she Is happier when she keeps
away from the looking glass, she also
finds that she has less to worry her IL
she keeps away from the scales.
well of people than in speaking III OF
them. At first you may find It diff
hcult to speak well of people, having
roasted them so long. but you can ac-
custom yourself to 1t. You will find
it good practice to speak well of your
rival.
Nearly all men act like pigs. Nearly
ali women eat sparingly, and it is no
toriousIy true that women live longer
than men. Notice the women at your
house when at the table, they peck
around a little, but do not eat much.
drink glass after glass or ice water
whereas a woman VIII take a sip OF
water, and be perfectly satisfied
Miss Dayse Mayme Appleton. who
lives with her brother-in-law in Atch-
ison, has been making trips to Leav-
enworth several years. trying to catch
6, bachelor army officer. Her brother
in-law lately said to his wife. IT
believe viii 1T Dayse Mayme up with
special scenery. once more, and send
her to Leavenw ortn; possibly she will
finally be able to catch that officer.
I have spent thousands OF dollars IN
fitting her out for these marrying ex-
petitions, but I am willing to try il
once more: the house would be so
quiet and peaceable without her
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

Some 100000 in currency was
sent to San Francisco in anticipation of
a run" on the banks when they were
opened, more than a, month after the
earthquake. The wondrous wise men
Of Wall street had been quaking in fear
Of the consequences. But those singu-
lar San F'ranciscans actually put money
In instead of drawing it out The tax
collectors report that there is no great
Increase of delinquent taxes. Business
and building go on. The theaters are
open-in tents. The steel buildings,
whose easy topping was expected by
many people, proved themselves so
steady and of such staying powers that
steel construction will be a favorite in
the new city. Not too many tall fell
lows, though, it is to be hoped. Ordf-
nances regulating the height in pro-
protion to the width of the street have
been prepared. Much levelinx of
streets is proposed. Not too much,
pray you. or San Francisco will lose
some of its best bits of the picturesque.
She has 1t in her power to become
the most beautiful of American cities
If Washington viii forgive us-by ad-
herring to a well considered architect
uraI and landscape plan. Tt viii pay
immensely, as it pays Paris. San Fran
cisco is essentially an artist. Now is
her opportunity.-'sW With the Process
sion,' Everybody's Magazine for July.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

By selling a $3.50 cake Tor $50 Ny
wzfe's loss was SO cent cake and 80
cents IN money. total loss $500. But my
wife gained $1.0o because she paid
$500 donation with a SO cent cake and
90 cents in money. The church gained
S1.50 on the cake because It cost them
Notwithstanding the $100 they lost
because they sold a $3.50 cake for $3.50.
their net profit is $100, plus the 50 Genus
cash which my wife gave them. My
wifeis profit is 800. the church profit
IS s1.50, total profit $3.50. Total loss
$500 Who lost the SO cents and who's
got It? Help! Help! Helpitr'
After going through this backward,
forward and sideways. the mathemati-
cal editor of the State Journal recon-
mends that it be referred to A. r.
Brown with instructions to ten who
got the money.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
Full LEASED WIRE REPORT
or THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
HoArs NEWS WHILE AWAY

Subscribers Of the state journal
AWAY during tho summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
20 any address at to rate Of Ten cents
week or thirty cents month tpy
mali only. Address changed as often
as desired While out OF town the
state Journal wifi be 10 you ike
daily letter from home.
Advance payment IS requested on
these short time subscriptions, TO save
bookkeeping expense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

Perhaps South America win pull off
q revolution or two for the entertain
ment of Secretary Root while he IS
down there, just as the Mexicans pull
off a bull fight. or as we put on a
football game.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The news from Russia that the car
has already overcome the boss busters
leads to the suspicion that Mr.. Ro-
manor lost no time in advising with
" Y. Morgan as soon as the latter
landed.
y
We are glad that we haven't the job
Of handshaking ahead of US that Mr..
Bryan has.
x
Now that the sewer pipe trust has
been broken up, there appears 10 be
no good reason why another way
should not be found for carrying off
the details in the Thaw case instead Of
publishing them in the New York
newspapers.
Some men who make no pretensions
as baseball players are very successful
in handling high balls.
y = 4
The Jewell Republican prints this:
The ladies always look to New York
for the fashions. Well, here is the
latest: Statistics show that $4,000
women in New York support their
husbands" We imagine there is a big
demand for the Republican among
men who want to send a marked copy
of that item to their wives.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
HUM0R OF TIE DxY

Sonny said the good old man, I'm
surprised that you should tease the cat in
Why. replied the boy. pausing in his
inhuman work, do you know any better
wayy''-P philadelphia Ledger.
What Frau Meier. You are going to
give your dog away2
Yes, I am. Because, you know, as long
as the dear little thing IS in the house
my husband has his own way-'-F1ie-
DO you think that these people will
be received in fashionable society?"
think they will. even go further than that
and be received in polite society," Wash
ington Star
-, ~ r your chin just little said the
This IS as high as I choose to raise
yiek-Senn. IF the effort is not 10 your
liking you can lower your machine
Teacher lat night SCHOOLS it not true.
as a matter Of fact, that a lightning bolt
sometimes strikes twice in the same
Shaggy Haired PupIl-No. sir. it's al
ways a different bolt.-Chicago Tribune.
Welsh Farn1er-Good-bye. Mr.. shones
good-bye. I will see you on Montay. what
Excursionist from Yorkshire Ito friend)
-Haow foonny t fowks do tark in this
part t coontry--Punch.
What preparation have you under
gone, asked the great explorer, scorn-
fully, for the hardships unavoidably at
tendent on the expedition you wish to
take with me p
Il have frequently walked across the
bath room linoleum barefooted.' proudly
answered the Would-be voyager. Where
upon the great explorer apologized and as
signed him a berth--Modern Society.
BiiI-To hear that fellow tell It. he's
landed some of the biggest jobs in the
country.
JiIl-Wen he talks about landing jobs
as an amateur fisherman talks about
landing 1sh--Yonkers Statesman.
The MiIlyards keep the house on SO
THAT'S very different. The Millyards
can afford to be beggars. They've got
money to burn We are poor and II we
try to live on less than $50 a week we
shall certainly be ruined. Puck
Willie-Mamma, can I go to the circus
and see the wild man2
Mamma-No, Willie. but II you're good
I'll let You stay in the room when when I
show your father my dressmaker's bill
Boston Transcript.
I am going to have my hands insured
said the eminent pianist.
Don't do 1t, answered the manager.
Your hands do not contribute your most
valuable asset. Have your hair insured
w aShinEton Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

1.-The London tailors who criticised
the At Of Mr.. Bryan's Clothes says the
Washington Post, fought to accom-
pany him on the stump and see him
give the octopus ITS" Yes, that's his
7orp- zgf{f
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
A DIFFERENCE.

Another striking difference between
Russia and the United States Is that
the newspapers that wish to tell the
truth about the government there are
regarded as patriotic, while over here
they are regarded in some quarters as
muck rakes' But the satisfying
thing Is that the muck rakers'' In this
country can not be suppressed as they
can in the cars Notwithstanding
son News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

A criminal is entitled to trial BY
Jury Of his peers. Doen't that mean
that the jury must all be criminals
also2 Webster says a peer is zone of
the same rank, quality. endowments,
m ~aster etc
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

An eastern paper prints a piece un-
der the heading, Experiences of a
Chorus Girl and everyone naturally
read It to see what the latest develop
ments we're in the Thaw case.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
song or deer EEs.

We show in simple manner,
And with a hope to please
The work which is expected
OF those who hold degrees.
Through four long years of study
Athletics prove the key
With drafts on fathers check book
To get q glad A. B.
Next stage, the honorary,
Is made both wide and free;
Few men who gain distinction
Escape the IL. D.
But morning, noon and evening
The hardest work we see
Is keeping daily hustling
To hold a J. o. B.
McLandburgh Wilson IN the n. Y sun
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

For some time we have been wonder
ing what the expression '.humdinger''
meant. Now we know. The Muscotah
Record says Muscotah has a man who
positively won't gossip. He never says
anything i'll about his neighbors, and il
he can't say anything good, he closes
up like clam. This man is a hum
dinger. May his tribe ncrease.-Liuds-
burg News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

The douma in Russia appropriated
only 100000 in the two months
that it was in session The douma
ought to come over and watch our
congress when it is in active opera
ton. 1t can appropriate seven million
dollars in seven minutes and never bat
IN eve
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
BETTFR SHOOTING.

Instead Of shooting General Stoessel
for his conduct of the Iefense Of Port
Artliar, Russia might bettar employ
It's guns by shooting those of its nohil-
ity who brought on the war.-I.ouisvnle
Couriar-J ournal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
AND TROW ouTCK.

THE welcome rain cometh soon,
trow,7 sings the poet. It looks like he
has another trows coming.-Lindsbor
Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

The tariff revision candidate for con
gress IN the Fourth district Repub-
lican who was nominated by the Dem
ocrats-possesses the name Of John
Wesley Moore. How far will that go
In lining UP the Methodist vote?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

Another jointist has discovered.
through his lawyers. another crack in
the constitutionality of the prohibitory
law. Jointists' lawyers have been dis
covering these cracks for twenty years,
but they have never been able to make
the supreme court see them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
ERON OTHER PENS
NOT INVITED

AS far as known, PouItney Bigelow
has not yet received an invita- lion To ac-
company the president and Sec etary
Taft to the isthmus this autumn.-Ohio
State Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
CHANE THE sIJRJECT

EVldentIy Congressman Miller viii
not make the same speech during the
campaign that he did before the state
republican Railroad convention at
Topeka when two-thirds of the dele
gates yelled come off" time, -
time" and other things of like
nature.-Burlingto Independent
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

In kentucky they are thinking of
Introducing the teaching of grating in
the. country schools. Are kentuckians
rs dense as that2 In most states peo-
pie learn to graft without any teach
ere
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

In New York the newspapers are
advocating the abolition of pistol
totine' in the south. Nothing is said,
however, about abolishing "pistol-tot-
ing by such individuals as Harry
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

There is a movement to make good
Filipinos'' out Of those Pulajanes- At
least troops have been called for, to
srtarrninate them If necessary.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

Mr.. Bryan suggests that the recep-
ton at his homecoming take the form
OF a dollar banquet, but he does not
specify whether 1t shall be a gold or
silver dollar. It is believed. however,
that a silver dollar will be accept
a. Ia
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

heavy set. square jawed young man
with dimDle In his chin has made q
rafting good record for law enforce
nent. even if lie is the Democratic
governor of the state Just sort of
talking about some Folk. as it were.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

In Kansas city the ice and fuel busi-
ness is conducted by the same corpora
lions. A combination that seeks to cool
the people in winter time ana bake them
in summer is lot calculated 20 acquire
much yularity.=Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

If a bomb ever strikes M. PObiedono-
steer, upon whom those Russian terror
lists have Inrosed the death sentence
his name could hardly ger pied any
worse-Los Angeles Express
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31
nc F.I .E.d 80 Ga CHANCE.

The car says he will call new
douma next March Perhaps he
means to do so. Perhaps he will not
have the opportunity. Louis of France
never had it-New FORK World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

It'll be worth ten years CT peaceful life
to read Ida Tarbelfs review of Mr..
Rockefe1ler's forthcoming book.-New-
ark News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

1t seems that Mr.. Bryan desires to
have something to say as to the in
dfvidual who shall sit on the drivers
scat of his band WAGON.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

Down in Georgia a railroad engineer
and conductor were on duty for fifty
hours at a stretch Three people were
killed and several injured in the wreck
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

Bill A1isklmmons says If you do not
talk people think you are a derned
fool. If you talk too much they know
you are.-BelIeville Telescope.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

The Abilene, Kan, Reflector calls Sen
ator LaFo1lette a common scold- The
only senator who was fully up to the
Renector's ideals was forced to resign
a few weeks ago--Kansas City Star
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

Kansas is now clamoring for better
pie. Then perhaps it is indigestion that
is what's the matter with Kansas.-I4os
Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

Secretary Shaw made his first
speech in the Iowa campaign Saturday
at Waterloo. Is there any significance
in the nance
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

Chauncey Depew says that overwork
in the senate caused his breakdown. At
ter all, it must be admitted that Chaun-
cey is a pretty fair Observation-Disclosures
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

Naming no names and INDUCING in
no personalities. says the Star ''the
Republican party Of Missouri arises to
ssmark that certain rather short,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

one OF the white mans burdens in the
far east is the cholera, another the
plague, and third the pesky people
Mexican Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

Governor .Beekham is candidate
for United states senator in Kentucky
Wen, Kentucky might do worse.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

The Central American revolution
has been called off. The fighting lasted
three days, the ammunition two days
and the courage one day.@Troy Chief.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-07-31

IF Mr. Gourdain Is really so anxious
to 60 to the penitentiary. why not rim.
ply smoke a cigarette in Indiana ?
Pittsburg xetfe=TInes