Arizona republican., 1906-12-15

injustice he says, iv spellin' through
 with an aitch.' he says, all tn wurrulC will know done it firm pure motive
 fri he says. I know iv no way iv sim plifyin' tn wurrud L. he says
 An so he done it. Today tn sim
 plest American citizen is tin peer il the man that wrote tn ditchnry. No
 more will amy wan have to bow his
 head in shame because he don't know
 how nanny ms there ar-re in Cincin-
 atty or how many SIS in Mississippi He puts in as nanny as his means will
 allow an lets it go at that. I seen wan | iv Tiddy's addresses tn other day ! What does it look like? It's beauti-
 full haven't read annything like it since tn Sweet Singer iv Michigan died
 What else has he done? Well he i wint down to Pannyma. There was nc Ostentation about tn departure. On d | battleship. accompanied on'y be a sic 1 rity an tn United States navey, he | stole away f'r surprise visit. As he ! left his departure was announced be ] tn cus'mry salute iv four hundherd an eight guns to which tn forts responded with tn usual eleven hundherd an nine | At Pannyma tn enjyneers an Jamaica naygurs were busy at their wurruk. but they managed to give him nasty an enthusiastic welcome. in spite iv tn ! fact that it had rained fr two weeks an tn decorations were somewhat spilled. Throwin' off his hat an coat. he done a hop-skip-and- jump acros, tn Isthmus an nearly stepped on tn
 Prisidint iv tn Raypublic iv Pannyma
 comin' back. This great sojer an statesman. who's right name l have forgot, but no matther. was wanst well
 known in our cOunthry as wan iv tn
 most popylar midgets on tn dime mu- scum cirl<et. Standin' fully three feet two in his stockin's. whin he raymim- bers to put thim on, he is tn ideel fig
 ure iv a marshal hero. Layin' his hand
 imprissively on tn Prisidints kneecap
 he addressed him as follows:
 "'Great an good brother he says
 It is a proud an happy privilege tn
 have ye in our mist.lt seems like rain
 to ye. but ye niver see wan iv our
 reglar old-fashioned thunder showers
 l make no boasts about me impeeryal
 domain. We have no fertile fields, no
 mines iv ontold wealth. no railways no
 eddycation. no food, no clothes. naw-
 thin much. but I'd like to bet ye all
 tn money Bunny Vanilla says he has
 that it rains here more than it does Tn
 amy other raypublic in the wurruld.
 white or black, give or take ten buck
 cts. Whativer else We can promise ye
 we're sure iv this that ye're canal will always be full iv wather. If tn Passy- fic an the Atlantic both dhried up Pan- nyma's blessed rain will always be wet
 But he says. T degress,- he says. We welcome you to our impeeryal do- main he says. AS far as tn hand can reach it stretches out on both sides iv ye fr'mwhere tn stately Passyfic wash es tn feet iv old Pannyma with little effect he says, to where tn tumul- chuse Atlantic oozes up to Colon.' he says. It is eight miles long as tn crow flies afther tn engineerin' gangs an thirty yards wide he says. 'OuI country. we love it, an why shadden't we fr isn't it now or soon to be entire- | ly composed of mud thrown out iv tn l Ame-iLan canal he says 'Welcome, ! thrice welcome Serene Brother. A ''r' ;her h arms salutes ye,' he says. 1 'kn' N. ye mind moviL' tn left tut | fovard a little. We don't want amy with our neighborin' | raypublic iv Costa Rica,' he says.
 'Th' Prisidint made q sho:t speecn | in reply. Sir. says he. T am proud to | be in ye're grand. damp raypublic. Ye have welcomed me in appropriate lan- | guage, but ye have hardly said too | much in tn circumstances. Considhren | q l,ue mesilf with a scrool saw in me barn. ye ought to be proud to see me If ye | ain't proud don't show it, or I'll give ye wan. I'm inthrested in seein' this [ handywork iv mine It looks better in tn maps thin it does to tn naked eye. but it's alright. Certainly 'tis tn wan in tn wurruld that was made fr canal In fact ye're happy ray Il public is acanal already. If I'd on'y known it I wud've put in a few locks an invited tn navies iv tn wurruld t1 slip through. Whin l came ashore I thought I'd stepped off tn gangplank four miles out. Does tn sky alway.. sob this way on top iv ye? I had no dee it rained so down here. I'm wet through. Since I've been talkin' I've had an idee. We've got tn canal. What t, shall we do with tn bye-product? I'll l. tell ye what we'll do. We'll pipe ye'e- mpeeryal raypublic to fertilize tn arid |, ieserts iv tn gr-reat West he says r An sindin' a wireless message fr I mustard bath, he dashed fr tn man-iv- war Tt was thin four o'clock. Tn next lay he was in POrther Ricky. I haven't |, leerd much iv that ile iv tn blessed z since tn bold Miles cOnkered it with lis new clothes. But it seems to be i soin' on as merrily as iver Tn poppy ace turned out to meet tn Prisidint h They didn't have to turn far. whin tn ; 'opylace iv POrther Ricky wants to urn out fir popylar dimOnsthratiOn Ill 1t has to do is to roll over He was { net by gr-reat crowds iv our fellow itizens in ivrything but tn name an { h. fact. They prisinted him with f punch iv roses, an he prisinted thim I with tn franchise. They're American l itizens now. like you an me.
 Honored Sir says tn Chairman iv \ h. comity. if it's not to much throublc . vud ye mind givin' us a vote" No. |, t all,' says Tiddy Rosenfelt. No I trouble in tn least. Why didn't ye 4