The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-20
HUMOR or THE DAY

HUM0R OF TIE DAY
Mistress Cyvho is going out for the day)
And, Mary, you may invite a friend or
two to tea if you like.
MaEy-Please, m. I haven't got any
friends only know young women
Punch.
Husband-Why do you scold the butch
err It ism tsllis fault that the meat comes
to the table all dried up. Scold the cook
that If keep on scoiding the butcher.
he'll get mad and come around and scold
the cook.-New York Weekly
Waggles-There is the great historical
novelist and the man who made him.
Jaggles-His publisher?
Waggles-No; the fellow who wrote the
Observation-Disclosures
You may not remember me, Miss Sum
mer, he said, but was engaged to you
'Indeed?" she replied colby; you have
quite memory for faces"
No, he replied glancing at her fair
nands put have for the rings buy. -
Philadelphia Ledger.
Now, see here sad the promoter.
you say this eompany's business is val
ued at $4,000 Suppose we organize it.
issue STOCK tor xlQOsOYl and then bonds to
the value Of $4,000. What would the pro-
Z don't know" replied the cautious
banker, but he ought to get arrested. -
Cleveland Leader.
stop congestion2" said the traction
magnate, Indignantly. Il should say noti
Why. congestion is the mother of divi-
dendsF'-BrookIyn Life.
He during the quarreD-Weu. don't
seem to cut any ice in this world
she-Wel, it's q safe bet that you'H not
be IN the kind of climate where you win
be able to cut any in the next.-Yonkers
Statesman
Are you going to the seashore this
NO answered the tired-lool1ing man.
There's no use of going myself. I can
send the money every week by registered
letter. Washington Star.
well" said Morrell speaking of the
demise of a mutual friend, "a man can
4 don't know about that interrupted
Wiseman. T see by the papers that the
youngest drummer boy to enter the union
service is dead again. ''-Philadelphi
OF course" said the dear girl during
one OF the jolts that true love occasional
" gets, you viii want the ring back"
No, you may as well keep it," replied
the masculine end of the tiff. mo other
girl Of my acquaintance could wear it ex-
cept on her thumb. Chicago News.
Beautiful Ernestine was sobbing as
though her heart would break What
is It, dear?,. asked her girl friend.
W-why,' she sobbed, IT .t-told Jack
after he proposed, to go up and see pa
pa"
What Of that?"
Why. they started playing cards. and
nov ne goes up TO see papa every night
Pa said the son of the captain Of in
dustry; what IS being recreant to ones
Not increasing the capital stock every
time the public can be hypnotized into
of 'the, people who hold the bonds. Chi
cago Record-eEIrald.
But you were here last week applying
for a place. Have you been out Of 4
place ever SINGER said the mistress to the
mo. ma am: sure I've had three places
since then "-Yonl5ers Statesman.
MY idea of wise man." said the
youth who thought he knew things. is
one. who knows when to stop talking"
brand of wisdom rejoined the venerabie
philosopher, knows when not to begin
-Leslie's Weekly.
DO you think politics is being elevat-
Il don't know. whether politics is being
elevated or not" answered Senator Sor-
ghuna, but votes are getting higher every
year.''-Washington Star.
visitor-Tommy. wouldn't you ike to
have some distant relatives?
Chicago News.
yisitor-so that is the mamma doll. is
it? And the other. suppose, is the pa
!, osVFs s.yy no; you stupid That
IS a friend OF the mamma doll. The pa
pa doll is away from home-Puck.
Jaryey (who IS driving political canvas
seT)-Is 1t here Tim ROOney's Ifvin'2
Roy-It is. but he's dead
Jarvey-oohh,. then. ten him we don't
want to see him--Punch.
Marketer-How much are strawberries?
Dealer-One dollar a box.
Marketer-Give me some good sour
pickles-they cost less and taste about
the same.-cleveiand Leader
Senator. did you ma IT diffieuIt
matter when you made you maiden
No, it wasn't that" replied Senator
Badger. ia was getting somebody to
listen to It. ''-Nfilwaukee Sentinel.
Here Is another gem from the prolific
mine, the police court: Prisoner used
that was obliged to yet the assistance
of another officer to take him into Gus
tody. London Telegraph.
"John." said the horrifed wife. after h.
had bumped his shin, did I hear you
Il hope so. madam. hope so. replied
John. Tt would pain me to ind you were
deaf. Philadelphia Ledger.
4Tiidred--Dld Gladys can him up on the
teIephone7
Marie-No; she called him down-Yale
Record.
A BoOtblacIz's Estimate Of Folk.
OF the many points OF view from
which to judge the success Of a. lectur-
err the one revealed in this incident is
unique.
The bootblack at an Illinois Chau-
tauQua was asked:
Who was the greatest lecturer on
the programme this yeaF2'
Gov. Folk, was the quick reply.
why do you think Gov. Folk fha
greatest lecturer %