The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1906-12-05
TOO MUCH PROGRESS FOB
GUILERMO SED.
Shady Grove,
Thanksgivingday, 1906.
Deer Gents:

|
Thanksgivingday, 1906.
aIiow'd as how I'd 60 huntin' today bu
Madam Sed shoked an Ole shangh'gh rooste
an put me on notice an how she would hav
turkey for dinner, an somehow / cudhen
leave the premesis. Known Hs l did tha
/ could XII | n,LhIn' dyin' except rabbits,
hardly thought IL worth Will. 1 was rathe
sorry afterwards l haddeut gout; | ken ea
',nost eunythinp, bui I've served the MADAM
notice that l renig OH all roosur' that wea
spu,s or crow.
81 Co I'm at home tryin' to digest that an
cIeut sha n high guess might al we'll drnl
you gents few lines au' end. aVor 10 stol
that movement which Is on foot 10 lear dnwt
the great CoLrt House OF Abbeville Couo
'Ev;o, ~; u.n,s ,on, vosn - ,o 90 ennv NOR.
respeck for the traditions of the fathers thar
| Pab Sli.Z has for the dispensary. Just thipB
for a mint how old that magnificent struc
tureis. Think OF the many ASSOCIATIONS that
IRE wrapped up In the walls OF that grand
ucture. Think Nv The times you've been
Summoned on the jurieS and how you've
| cum up compl.inin' Nv rot havin' time to
serve hen'a twenty dollar William wou'dn'1
know you're just like me; many's the time
I've heen summoned and gone up tn court
roin plainin' that cuddent spare the time
! had grass In the cotton or hay In the field
an right then I'd been wachin' the Press
and Banner aud Medium both fur three
weeks hOpin' that Gnllermo Sed would be
among the Jurors. Yea, sir, right on hands,
an It's The hoftest dollar and a half per. Eve
| ever spent for mex dampener. Deep down In
your cordial appendage you won't deny that
The same's true with youi
And now you want 10 mex ruin outen
this ole structure! Cut It out gents, stop II!
take you seriously an If he does, well, good
bye brother Craford, she's gone.
know every body In my naborhood are IN
favor OF knockin' down the ole pile but me.
hnf
hearin' other people talk. Why, gents the
very last time wet my mex In Aboervtlle It
VAS in the upstairs Nv the old court house.
You fellers have ersisted and persisted in
where feler can't drink after he buys his
mex dam pener, An now the last place man
oan 90 20 dampen bis alermagoozerlom Ia
iotterip'. Do you think we want to come out
10 the Confederate monument, make toast
20 telephone pole an turn up q bottle OF
Joe's one X right where every elder an dea
con In town can see II? No. Well, leave the
old court house an we can still mosey up the
ole jury rooms an wet mex In peace and
know il wouldn't cost much to the tax
payers TO build new court house, but that's
not the thing. It's the destruction nv the ole
land marks. Now you have been maxim
some desultory remarks about the shutters Of
the ole butdin' an i give you TO under
Shutters SH ss I've s sot on the back sooms Nv my
house, an what's good euuf for me at home, l
rekan can put up With away from home
Shutters! Who'd q thunk that was an objec-
linn to the ole buiIdin'.
It seems to me you Abbervillians are getten
q leetle too peart. This court houRe move
ment is In keepln with the slick side walks
you're putin In everywhere. The ole time
sidewalks wuz good enuf for me, and now, II
I've got tacks 10 my heels, dossent walk on
the side walks but get out on the square.
"The ole terbaccer barp!" How In the
uame Nv the Sultan Zooloo could yore peril
deous conception ever ooncoct sich slander.
GUS slogan agin that ediflce is moren / can
cipher out by Davies Rlthmetic. I spose
the next news we know you'll be advocat1n
over usin' Speeds, Milford's an McMurray,s
helephant gum instead OF terbaccer durin' all
court proceedjn's! Now wouldent that be q
picter! See the Judge rise 10 his ermine an
announce "Helephant gum." gents what's
sWaqs Bs .Se f sns 70 the
Jury. Spit out yore tobsc. Mr.. Craford, and
take qud Nv gum. Out with that Rich an
Ripe, Mr.. Schultz, take gum gum! We must
all use Helephant gum here! ~ a., y,,s,
lisms that were ever perpetrated, OF all the
depredations by Geths or Ylsigotha, Of all
the mean immaginations OF Attila the Ham,
OF all the ioonoclastio barbarities OF the
uons OF Black Hand Anarchist, this one
| nase. "ole terbaccer barn." takes the lead. an
far as the planet Neptune Is ahead OF q
m0ycule OF muQl .
Let the magnlhcent ole bui!din' stick her
nose into the square. Let her stay where she
| ls an you won't hev TO buy aplttoous for
your new buildin't Just think Nv what
spitioons would cost for jurors, and what an
extra expense II would he 10 have an extra
Bailiff 10 eep the R. ]. r. out OF the boccaf
nf the court retainers. an please kindly re-
member that 20 longs the ole house sta nos
you've got place TO wet your mex uniram-
meed, unsupported, unmolested and un'
| watched.
Yourn,
Gullermo Sed.