Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-01-28

lately snuffed Mr. Fitzsimmons beaten at
his own game.
ter of the forces at his command, the Hon.
John may lay claim to being tactician OF
parts. He is no 'fight-it-out-on-t this 'llne-
all-summer' general Marion, the swamp
fox was more of a class with the Hon
John Guerrilla warfare is his forte lie
doesn't attempt to besiege the enemys
. camp, but he manages TO STIR up many
rumpus in the baggage train
Attention. ladies and gentlemen, for the
forlorn hope commander is about to come
this way. He has untangled those portions
of himself concealed beneath his desk. lie
has uncupped his business ear. lie moves
this way Do not attempt to conceal the
establishment YOU feel at his manner OF
progression fTis only natural. But Go not
fear the Hon. John is bringing all OF him.
self lat once. His walk is a MISSISSIPPI
product and if at times it seems as II he
might drop some of himself in the aisle,
Just remember that he has walked before
and hasn't come uncoupled yet.
The Hon. John is not dresser He
doesn't pretend to be. and the shade of
jefferson prompts his tailor When Mr.
Williams purchases new habiiiments ne
sleeps in them for several nights until the
shade of jefferson is appeased. IT'S an
uncomfortable and an inconyenient thing,
this catering to shade, and the Hon;
John admits it. But consistency is leWei
and the democratic swamp LON iihe9 @'oi'e'7
of large karetage. .
1adies and gentlemen, the Hon. John is
about to tell a story, and IN moment
laughter will sit enthroned IN these sacred
precincts Even the Hon. Serene removes
his fixed smile and permits a grin 10 play
hide and seek among the subchins, when
The Hon. John excites his hair with row
ing hand and unpigeonholes yarn. listen
and watch and judge for yourselves Twill
he worth YOUR trouble for the Hon. John
is without a peer in his line. lis not every
man who can take the shattered framework
of an overworked anecdote and build there
on something that passes for as good al
new AS an upholster of pointed peril
nances from the storage rooms of memory,
the Hon John is in a class by himself.
Memories of dear, sad-eyed old Joe Miller
come to the mind but do not tarry long,
and perhaps the Hon. John will flash his
memory across the water and bring. back
fatherIand and came to him across the
stein banged board For he completed his
education at Heidelberg, did the Hon John.
He will tell you all about 1t II you speak
to him kindly and give him plenty of rope.
Attention. ladies and gentlemen. The
Hon John is about to leave the floor. DO
not be alarmed ladies' and gentlemen; he
will take all of himself along He is about
to retire to the cIoakroom. In his pocket
is a long uncomfortable-l looking cigar In
the cIoakroom is a long, comfortable sofa.
The Hon. John will place the cigar in his
countenanee. adjust himself on the sofa
forgetting none of the essential portions of
his anatomy--and while the Hon. Serene
remains in his seat. smiling at nothing and
thinking of substantially the same thing,
the Hon. John will light the dejected-look
ing cigar and return for the nonce to Hell
delberg and the Heidelbergians For the
Hon. John completed his education at Hell
delberg. He will tell you all about 1t if you
speak to him kindly and give him plenty
of rope.