The Grenada sentinel. [volume] (Grenada, Miss.) 1868-1955, 1906-06-02
(Copyrighted)
Uncle George Explains the National
PaStime Hazing.
Copyrighted

Oily, plaintively, as he laid down th
Evening Blatherskite, what is haz
lng?"
"Ah, my dear nephew" cried Uncl
George, with genuine delight, upsettin.
the inkwen owe his new lavende
trousers, which he was wearing for tn
first time, "hazing is the great nationa
pastime, without which our sad live.
would be a dreary waste. Had we NJ
hazing | fear greatly that there would
be little to relieve the dull monOtonJ
Of our money-grubbinS existence.
regret to see that the vile press is at
lacking this noble pastime in a scan
dalously vicious manner. This is to be
regretted; in fact, l may call it a de-
plorable lack of taste. Pray, my deal
boy, how are we to educate young men
to navigate our ships if we omit this
important item from the curriculum?
Things have come to a pretty pass in
deed If our potential national heroes
are to be brought UP to have a care
FOR the welfare of others. | view with
alarm, Dilly, this growing prejudice
against hazing. Besides, my dear boy.
and | will whisper this softly, it is all
buncOmbe. What is the loss of one or
two Ives compared with the enjoy
ment of hundreds? Fudge upon such
sickly sentimentality. say l."
But had not these unfortunate
youths mothers and fathers, dear IN
cle?" asked little billy.
Possibly, possibly, billy, but | fail
to see what that has to do with it. A
mother should be glad to offer up her
only son to the nation. What if his
Joints are twisted out of shape; his
cardiac appendage somewhat bent, and
bis delicate neck broken, while his
features are unacceptable? 1t is a
mere bagatelle. AS to hazing, billy,
our whole national existence is one
grand hazing. Mr.. Rockefeller, Mr..
Morgan, Mr.. Hill and those other great
and good philanthropists, not forgetting
Russell Sage, are wildly enthusiastic
advocates Of hazing. Possibly they do
not follow the strict rules of the game.
but they haze, devotedly and contin-
ually. AS a nation we are advocates
of hazing. 1t is not so long ago since
we hazed Spain, later we threw the
into Venezuela; at present we
are trying for a strange hold on Mo-
rocco, and We would dearly love to
Turkey eat a delicate dish of
anglewOrms."
Indeed you interest me, dear uncle"
laid little Dilly. Are there other ex-
lmples, too?"
Many, my boy" replied Uncle
George. There is a concerted attempt
upon the part of the country at large
o make Senators Depew and Platt
walk down a slivery plank with bare
and their corns sticking out. 1t
a sad spectacle, billy, a sad spec
acle. Just because these two pocr
itiful old parties were caught climb
ng over a transom with a gunny sack
I'LL of swag, there is a disposition to
them haZeeS. | regret more than
can say that things have reached this
tage. | would like to see them be
to rest at ease, and spend ,
heir remaining years in the quiet and f
sclusion of a-jail, but we must not
ope for too much. Just at present !
lere seems little likelihood of such a f
,ntretemps, owing to some unfore- !
zen niger in the woodpile who has
'aped the tracks of the judiciary ex- U
ress, but | have hope, billy, l have
'eat hope. There is nothing like haz- n
g, in my opinion. Nothing like it." Il
What is the exact meaning of the a
rm, uncle?" asked billy. il
1T is somewhat obscure" replied e
ncle George. "In the original con- Ii
ption it was, no doubt, intended to "
lrl the victim into a mental haze VI
Om which he recovered but slowly.
the earlier days of hazing, it was 81
nsidered the height of humor to take p
young mans belongings and mislay T
EN-. This palled after awhile, and re
w humOr does not appear until after m
e victim is dead, and through some l
delicate reason of his own, he re- v;
ses to see the hilarity of it all. CO
II not rest content. Dilly, until some Ell
the young men at Annapolis soak V
g garments of a fellow cadet In
rosene and use him for a pinnacle M
hit. l think that would be scream In
ely funny. One can almost imagine tn
!, conversation that takes place when IA
new cadet shows up. Cadet No. II
Tiers about him a choice collection of
young asses who have more
ne than is good for them, and who
being taken care of at the expense ~
the government in a manner. that o'
ir fondest dreams never realized q.
l says:
There's a new gazabo.' -.
Let's haze him. reply the others -,
What would be good?' ~inuuirea
/.
We might hang him UP by the ,
mbs until he faints,' mildly sug- are
ts a younger member Of the class. ne,
Softly Shrek the others and drive a t