The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-08-07

He FIays Mr.. Red Buck for Writing
About Him I'm The Ob~crver-The
Narmest Roast That Has Been Sery-
ed In the Mule PEI i'm Some Time.
Professor Jean Napoleon Had Dip
ped His Pen in Gall.

Professor Jean Napoleon Ingram has
dipped his pen in gall and flayed his
critics. He has ordered Red Buck 10
attend 10 his own business. Being
from the same county, Professor In
gram appealed 10 his old friend. Mr..
Wade H. Harris. Having spent Sun
day writing his answer, he filed il ear
II yesterday morning and il reads as
follows: ITO the Editor of The OBJ
server: An amateur scribe, known TO
fame as Red Buck. who broke out of a
frog pond lear Pinevine. and butted
into the piedmont region TO draw Il
pictures and sise us up generally, has
recently been INDUCING in some bur
lesGue criticisms on the undersigned,
in The Observer columns. Some jour
nailstlc ~mouthings. out Of date and
scurrilous personalities. may have been
IN vogue among the Croatan Indians
IN 10. but they have never been in
.dlglnous to Mecklenburg. After some
beard specifications and physical sur
IVeEs-all Of which are a great deal of
Bucks business-he proceeds with
other ~mendacious, s~cannalous and idi-
libels."
CThe reader will notice that the pro-
lessor is warming up as he soars.)
Again he declares: being a mind
reader he knows the contents Of nv
pockets. and date Of literature carried.
Having no business OF his own to at
tend to, he is, without consulting me.
familiar with me. and my plans and
.Drivate affairs. and claims knowledge
of the the fowl and game birds enfest-
ing the streams on my ranch; sore of
which are -ort of season. some cut #
and others foreign to the
state. Buck is not an authority on
natural historv-he may know the lop-
cared hound and other common breeds
but the finer animals do not appeal to
him. He has little aptitude for at
tending to his own concerns. His
blood is SO poor that it would not
.sprOut beard of any sort. The sight
of a real decent set Of whiskers turns
him green with jealousy. and chestnut
.side-burns simply fans him into a con-
t1agration.'
Greek against Greek: chestnut on
the one hand and sorrel on the other.)
The professor continues: Buck
should look in the glass at his own
handsome physique, his sunset visage,
before photographing his seniors. This
.adonis of mussel shoals: this crimson
beauty o f the Driar thickets,
i nthe cameras search light, would
find 3 model Of cumberson architec-
ture, a tomato complexion, a f1amboy-
ant countenance and a rhinOcerous
tread, of sufficiently v~ariegated attrac-
ton, to suffice his delineative ambi-
tons"
professor Ingram mounted so high
on hat trip that be came lea not
being able to light at all. His wings
got to going and he could not stay
them.)
In conclusion the famous globe trot-
ter said: But garrulity, audacity and
impotence are ample identifcations of
the new Daniel. come to sit in judg-
ment on us, without anatomical speci-
ications."
(Signed) ]. n. INGRAM.
That is about the hottest stuff that
has ever come down the pike. The
Mule Pen vas as dead as a door nail
last night. Red Buck flew the coop
and has not been seen since. He
thinks that the recorder should have
Professor Jean Napoleon Ingram ar
rested for breaking the Sabbath by de-
livering himself of such a charge
Charlotte Observer.