Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1906-04-04
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nowadays. She-Some of them always
We're Detroit Free Press.
He-Don't you think that some of
her sayings are smart? She-They
aren't, but they do.-Brooklyn Life.
The Small Chap-Say, Papa, what
is the race problem? Papa-Picking
winners.-Kansas City Independent.
Jones went to Maine to get back
to nature" did hep" YES, got shot
by mistake for deer, and is now
buried" Town Topics.
II don't believe I'm the only girl
you ever loved, Fred?" "why, dear.
est? Because you kiss as If you were
were used to lt.'-Chips.
rs 1t necessary to enclose stamps?"
asked the poet. More necessary, even.
than to enclose poetry" responded the
editor.-Philadelphia Ledger.
Jasper-Who is that fine-looking
man over there? Jumpuppe-That7
oh, that is one of our most highly sus.
pected citizens.-Town Topics.
Cholly-Bah Jove, v know, Miss
savvam said looked like an extreme
ly clevah man." Dolly-Did she say
who the clever man was?-Cleveland
Lender.
Weary tell you how to make
money. Buy thermometers now and
sell 'em next July. Beery-what for?
Weary-They're bound to go up-New
York Mail.
The Rejected-Do you refuse me on
account of my poverty or on account
of myself? The Observation-Disclosures
It's wholly on my own account.-Clve.
land Leader.
Mrs. Tawker-wly, my husband
would descend to any depth, however
low. for money! "a criminal, eh?"
mo, he's professional diver."-Pitts.
burg Gazette.
How is your new girl, Mrs. Up
more? heard she was sick" "She's
improving. She was able to sit up
this morning and give notice'-Chi-
cago Tribune.
II understand the author Of that
popular song got only $500 for writ
ing It." "Oh, well, perhaps 1t was
first onense. Did he pay the finer
Philadelphia Ledger.
"Old Goldrox has gone bankrupt"
you don't say. What was the
trouble?" Spent all his money trying
to learn how how to live the simple
life."-Milwaukee Sentinel.
"Wha'd he get fired for?" "Pig-
headed. Couldn't get him to set Rus
sian names anyway except by leaning
his elbow on the keyboard Of the ma
chine."-Indianapolis News.
Teacher-Henry, what Is your ex-
cuse for being absent from school yes
terday? Schoolboy Tin Washington
Teacher. was paired with Jimmy
Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Nexdore-I bought new piece
of music for my daughter to play, and
guess she'll master 1t soon. She was
trying all afternoon. Miss Pepprey-
Indeed, she was; very !-Philadelphia
Press.
Kind Lndy-lt give you something
to eat will you wash your face and
hands? Poor Hobo-Youse misunder-
stood me, lady; said wuz hungry
1 didn't say wuz starvin' and des-
perate.-Ex. ~
Dorcas-The operation was success
full, but the patient couldn't survive
the shock. Mrs. Demonstrations
How careless to let poor man in his
condition find out what the operation
cost.-Puck.
"You talked all through my solo,
said the musician, little resentfully.
"Oh, that's all right" said the self
sufficient sage, II wasn't saying any
thing you would care about hearing u
Washington Star.
The Lady, have only 8 cents to
give away this morning. To which OF
you two shall give it? The Hobo
Give 1t to Panhandle Pete, mum; he's
bought dis route O. me, an I'm just
takin' him over de ground.-Ex.
Mrs. Klubbs (severelyl-1've been
lying awake these three hours waiting
for you to come home. Mr.. Klubbs
(ruefully)-Gee! And I've been stay
ing away three hours, waiting for you
to 60 to sleep.-Cleveland Leader.
Now" shouted the Socialistic street
NJ c1y 0P lynS 1v,&l.v
What is the question of the hour with
the workingman? Usually" re-
piled the observant citizen, its, Say
is 1t 10 o'clock YETI Philadelphia
Press.
~ suppose your feelings sometimes
lead you to say more than you intend,'
said the man who admires oratory.
Never" answered Senator Sorghum.
"but it sometimes happens that my in.
tentions lead me to say more than I
feel."-Washington Star.
Funny thing" began Stingiman, try
ing to get some medical advice free ;
~ know man who gets neuralgia SO
bad at times he simply yells with pain.
What would you do In case like
that?" "Why." replied DIR. Wise, am
afraid I'd yell With pain, too."-Phlla-
delphla Press.
1--WE called said the lady, ito
thank you for the notice you gave my
History of Female Suffrage but, by
the way, you had one odd Topographic
cal error. You spoke of me as n new
historical writer" "rhat's so,''
replied the literary editor, "'hysterical
should be spelled with y.'-Phlla,
delphia Ledger.
Printers Errors. again.
II guess l was dreaming" said the
first compositor, but ut any rate set
up the page ad Of the Blick gold mine
SO that it read instead Of 10000 shares
Mt SIS a share 10000 snares at IS q
snare"
In that report of Senator smooth's
,