davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
Germany and the West indies.

/ In the treaty which. according to a re-
/ port from Berlin via London. has been
arranged between Germany and Denmark
/ for the closure of the Baltic in time Of
war to fleets hostile to the German em-
/ pire, the New York sun finds a possible
design on the part Of the Kaiser 20 obtain
foothoId in the westren hemisphere
The view Of the sun is that such an agree
ment between Germany and her northern
neighbcr would eventually bring about the
resumption by Denmark Of her former
membership in the German Confederation.
Looking into the future the sun thinks
Ii evident that the more or less complete
I incorporation OF Denmark with the Ger
man Empire would involve the transfer
TO German hands Of the Farce Islands.
Iceland, Greenland. and the Danish West
Indies. At "A bound Germany would loom
on our horizon as at once a North Amer
lean and d Central American power.
Under her control the Islands Of St
Thomas, St Croix. and st. John would re-
gain all Of their old commercial and sIra-
tegic Importance, and would constitute a
standing menace TO Porto Rico, Cuba, and
Panama"
Nothing would be more natural than the
expansion OF the German Empire in the
direction here indicated. Il is well known
that the Kaiser has been assid1ously cuI-
tivating the most cordial and intimate re-
lations with the kindred small powers OF
the north. with what purpose may be seen
in the reported treaty. in which Germany
guarantees the integrity of Denmark IN
return for closing the Baltic 90 hostile
fleets. That Germany is anxious to ac-
quire a naval station on this side the At
lanuc is also generally believed, in spite
of semi-oficial denials.
We may sec in the by no means impos-
sible eventualites foreseen by the Sun
fresh proof Of the folly and UntimeIiness
of Prof. Burgess animadversions. deliv-
cred before a Berlin audience. upon the
Monroe doctrine. The German Emperor
I has been convinced by this time no doubt,
that Prof. Burgess wholly mIsrepresented
American sentiment when he spoke of
that doctrine as obsolete. and Secretary
Roots recent declaration that the Monroe
doctrine had lost none Of its force and
would be Just as effective now. should oc-
casion arise. as it ever was. derives addi-
tionaI significance in the light CT the Ger
man policy Of expansion fairly inferab!e
from the closer relations alleged TO have
been established with power still in pos
session Of strategic portions of American
territory
VIII Germany be the next European
power to make test Of the efficacy and
potency Of the Monroe doctrine we
seem to be in the way Of getting a very
practical answer to this question.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
Roni Kent the Laundry List.

Gradually the enthralled world is get
ting all the facts connected with the dis
astrous marital experience of the Castel-
lanes. Further stern judicial investiga-
ton of the case in Paris reveals circum-
stances and incidents even more thrilling
than those that first We're waited on the
sightless couriers of the air from the
Paris courtroom to the four corners Of
the earth. These latest revelations are
causing the planet to wabble and the
very foundations OF the social fabric TO
tremble Count Boni had 10 keep the
weekly laundry list. because his Ameri-
can wife did not understand French sufT1-
cienly well to be intrusted with that
important duty. Think Of that; ponder It
deeply. and then see if there is not a
little softening of the heart toward Boni.
In ordinary households the keeping Of
the laundry list is no childs play. What
then, must it have been in the Castellane
menage? The mind reels and sickens in
the effort 10 compass it. The Imagination
struggles with it in vain. Fancy droops
and shrivels under the burden. Boni spent
eight millions of the Gould fortune in five
years. He tried to teach the wife Of his
bosom how to keep the laundry list, and
failed. Uncomplainingly. he took upon
himself the task. If the laundry list had
not been kept, if there had not been, a
facile hand to enroll upon the convenient
sheet Of paper every item of the week $
wash and a vigilant eye 10 scan that
sheet when the wash was returned at the
end Of the week. how many more Of the
Gould millions would have found lodge
ment in the rapacious nav of the French
tradesmen in five years? We give it up.
We do not believe that even Boni could
make an approximate estimate.
This latest revelation throws a flood of
light on a situation that was otherwise
black as midnight for the count. The
keeping of a laundry list requires not only
alertness, expertness, and unceasing Wig
ilance-all Of which draw heavy drafts
on the gray matter of the cerebrun-but
it also involves hard physical work. and
unflagging industry. 1t demands a bend
ing of the back and crooking Of the legs
that are fraught with the imminent peril
of affecting its doer with lumbago and
house-maid's knee. Besides, it is not the
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
PEOPLE OF NOTE.
Was with Macmillan

II. Conquest Clark, a former newspaper
man. and now clerk in the Post-Ohice
Department. was with the Inflated Maxi
milan, when that ambitious monarch was
captured in Mexico, and his mad dream
OF establishing a throne in the capital OF
the MonJeZumas was shattered Mr.
Clark, an Englishman by birth had been
sent to Mexico By the New York Herald
10 report the progress of events. He at
tached himself 70 the cause Of the En-
peior, and became the private secretary
ot Prince Salm-Salm, one of MaXimillans
chief field marshals. Clark was caught in
the crash Of the empire and but for the
fortunate circumstance of his being able
siit!staetnrilU tC establish his British citi-
zenship. he would probably have been
shot. He was given safe escort 10 the Rio
Grande, and when the guard of Mexican
soldiers released him there, he narrowly
escaped being lynched by the pOpulace be-
fore he could reach this side of the
border. Mr.. Clark afterward went through
the thrilling days Of the reconstruction
era IN Louisiana as the private secretary
OF William Pitt Kellogg. now a resident
Of Washington. He accompanied his chief
To Washington when Mr.. Kellogg came
mere as Senator from the gubeTnatorial
chair Of the State and has since then
lived at the Capital. 1t Is said that the
shirt Macmillan wore when he was shot
by his executiOners was one that had
been given to him by AIr. Clark when
they parted
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
THE INNOCENT BYsTANDER
Nnr 4 REEoRNIER.

There were wrinkles on his features,
there was worry IN his eyes.
And his brow was corrugated, and he
hedved a lot Of signs
So we spoke discreetly 90 him, in man
ner most pOlite
is it wearing on your spirit that the
world Will not so right?
Are you weary OF the upuft? Do you
bear the task a grudge.
That although you have uplifted, still the
country Will not bulge?
Does Il make the outlook gloomy, that
with all your tireless toll
We yet have our Life Insurance, and We
have our Standard Oil?
"Or perhaps your helpful efforts have
been on another course
Does IL pain your gentle spirit that more
people seek divorce7
Won't they listen TO your speeches, when
YOU would make plain to them
That the only true solution lies in mar
rying pro tem.:
"Ah. you shudder. Your are thinking Of
the way tie world is cursed.
By the wickedness Of using ardent spirits
for "a thirst?
Il
slowly going broke
Through their silly inclination to puff out
tobacco smoker
NO? Then possibly the people simply
snicker when you tell
How they ought 90 use your method when
they re1d and write and spell?
or, you want the Higher Drama? Or. Il
simply wrings your heart
When the rabble win not listen 20 your
views on What Is Art?
It's a sorry world We know IT. And
it moves on stumbling feet
When it might rush 20 the table where
you show it How % Eat2
Or it may be that you're struggling with
the mighty ballot joss.
That you can't convince the pee-pul they
can do without the bOss7
Then. again. no doubt you're striving
Here the stranger turned and smiled
In manner that was eerie, in a manner
that was wild;
And he said: Please stop your guessing;
you could never hit # right
II you kept on taking chances til this
time tomorrow night
I have got the yellow jaundice. I've neu-
ralgia in my tOotn.
And I've had the rheumatism since the
early days of youth.
And l lost a hundred dollars on the
ponies yesterday,
50 you see it's not reforming that has
made me look this way
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
Two Tragedies.

From the New York sun
a poet had a wife and the wife had little
to eat. After several weeks Of failure u
get money wherewith TO purchase food.
she ran away with a cab driver who
owned his own outfit. and acted as If he
owned the city.
The blow viii kill him. cried people.
she has ruined his career"
1t didn't Kill him. for he turned his sor-
row INFO d sonnet that he sold for s. and
reviewers said that the font Of inspira-
ton had at last been opened TO him.
\ mans wife deserted him. and the
neighbors were more interested than he
was
Poor fellow" they said, 1T viii drive
him TO drink"
Il did. for he was one who never lost
an opportunity, and his wife was a strict
teetotaleg.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23

per capita being S1s4. In 1850. it was
SS25 O00. Coz: per capita, s51S. Ten years later
it was s.. Jos. o00.0oO The next decade add
ed S217, 600 The present remarkable
rate of progress is best shown in the
statement that the wealth of the State
in 1904 was s., ,SS6. .000. .OO0-an Increase in four
years Of S5l4000,Oo0.
The increase in the wealth Of the South
ern States from 1870 10 lsH was, the fig
ures representing millions:
Virginia, SIS: North Carolina. $50; South
Carolina, S77; Georgia, $50; Florida. S5S;
Tennessee. COS; Alabama. 76i; Mississippi
4S1; Louisiana, 709; Arkansas. 5S4. Texas,
e,67. The increase in Texas alone was
nearly half billion dollars more than
was the wealth of the entire eleven Sc
eession States in 1870.
The most amazing exhibit of the census
is that Of Oklahoma and Indian Territory,
soon 10 be admitted 10 the Union, and
the sisterhood Of Southern States as the
State OF Oklahoma. The first wealth sta
tistics taken Of the two territories was
in 1890, when the development Of the new
country had already well commenced. The
wealth of the two together was then
S2OS. .000,090 In ten years their combined in
crease was S6O3, 100000. Four years later
1994-the grand total was 81 ,095 035. .o55.
There is no material In these figures for
the advantage of any politician. This
country grows in spite of politicians. 1t will
not d. for Republican tariff advocate to
say that the secession States progressed
most under Republican administrations and
laws. because the Democratic politician,
pointing 10 the period between 1850 and
1860, could justly claim that under Demo
cratic administrations and laws each of
the eleven secession States had Increased
it's wealth more than 100 per cent
The marvel Of the whole grand story of
American progress is the recovery Of the
South. 1t is indeed a theme for national
c0ngratulation and rejoicing.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
odd senueI of Grent storm.

From the Mobile lAlal Register.
One Of the storm results in Mobile
creating much comment is that pear and
peach trees are in bloom, and pecan and
chinaberry trees are putting out new
foliage. Orchards and gardens in the
suburbs have a springtime appearance
entirely out OF keeping with the season,
the blossoms on some fruit trees being
as numerous as they are generally found
in April. The Indian summers of this
climate, sometimes following short periods
of cool weather, have hnen known 10
give foliage a new start in the fall but
the condition of the Towering fruit trees
this fall is unprecedented. IL is feared
that the unreasonable appearance be-
tokens d short fruit crop next year.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
OUR sAPIENT PRESIDENT.
Tribute TO the High Mental Qualities
Displayed in Recent Instance.

Fyom the Dallas News.
How sapient is our President, Every day
brings forth its event to celebrate his wis
donor. shall we say, his cunning? There
is the case OF the discharge OF those negro
troops. C9l0red Republicans. who make
The hope Of the Republican party in half
a dozen States, seem TO have become trc-
mendously wrought Up about s. What II
tEey had become excited two weeks ear
lier2 There would have been wreck and
ruin Uncle joe Cannon would have
been hurled from his lofty rostrum and
dropped into cTevice of the earth The
President himself would have failed Of
that Endorsement OF which he seemed TO
think himself so much in need.
How mOmentOus. therefore, was the
struggle when Justice and Prudence bat
tied in his breast fer precedence. Jus
tice seeking that immediate bandagiug II
her wounds which was her due. and Pru-
denCe fighting for delay. The fortunes CT
the Republican party made the stake Of
that C0mbat-and the President yielded TO
Prudence. Is not our President sapien,
statesmau-or, at all events, q prudent
politician?
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
Trial hr TpIenhnnc-

From the New York Tribune
Trial by telephone is the latest from
Wisconsin. At Tarrant a justice of the
peace entertained charge against a
rural resident who failed TO appear for a
hearing. Straightway the court called
up the alleged offender on the phone, and
the following dialogue ensued:
Hello, John" said the court, I wish
you would come down to-day
What for?"
The town marshal has sworn out a
warrant against you for beating him up
election day. I want 20 try you
Cant do 1t. judge. I'm too busy"
III have to send a constable after you.
But 1 am busy hUsking corn and
buildin' a fence around my east forty.
Why don't you try me now?'
"All right. You are guilty?"
Yep"
Five dollars"
"All right, judge. viii send it down
by the rural mail carrier. GoOd-by.'
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23

husbands work, properly speaking The
lord and master in America refuses to do
t. Any American husband who should
be caught keeping the family laundFy list
would be despised by the men and scorn-
ed by the women. His social position
would go gIimmering, his banker would
look on him askance. and he would lose
whatever control. which in his vanity he
thinks he has over his household. The
servants would mock him when his back
was turned, and his children would litter
in derision every time he dared attempt
10 assert authority over them.
And So let US suspend judgment on
BOni until we hear every detail. His mar
ried life has not been a bed Of roses; II
has not been one long sweet song. He is
a scamp, OF cOuTse-bUt the little fellow
had to keep the laundry list
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
Us MN YOT. JoHN ~


Stealthily comes creeping in
From the club.
With an alcoholic grin,
Crafty hub
See him lodging by the rack
With great care.
Now he takes another tack
For the stair.
Wife is hoodwinked. figures he,
BY his guile
Hence his alcoholic glee
And his smile
See him hold his clOven breath.
CunninG. pa.
He has wifey fooled to death.
Ha. ia. Ha,
Now he's at the bedroom door.
Breathing low.
He is safe in one step more.
Take il slow,
Weow! And straightway in the Ere
Goes the fat
He has stepped. misfortune dire,
On the cat.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
Pie and Piety.

From Harpers Weekly
A well known Episcopal bishop, while
travelling through his diocese. was enter
tanned by a New England woman. famous
fOr her good cooking. As the bishop. like
most Of the clergy, was very fond of good
things to eat. he partCok freely OF the de-
licious minCe pie. which was made in his
honor. Not long after, the bishop was
taken suddenly ill., and seemed to be un-
dergoing great mental as we'll as physical
suffering. The woman went 70 him and
said, But. my dear bishop, surely so good
man as you cannot be afraid to die"
''Oh. no." the bishop replied mot afraid
to die, only ashamed to die"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
EcononN.
From the Evening Wisconsin.

From the Evening Wisconsin.
The country grocer was issuing instruc-
tons to Tis new assistant, a lad Of nine
years.
It's oEly by looking closely after the
trifies." said the proprietor, that profit
can be made in these days of close com
petition"
Yessir. came from the boy.
For example" continued the grocer.
when YOU pick the flies out of the sugar
don't throw them away. Put them among
the currants''
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
LOVE IN THE CAR.

4 motor car * not the place
To calrt A girl with ease and grace,
You'll find you can't keep I'D the pace
And WOO her.
Your eyes are on the road ahead.
There isn't much that can be said;
You really dare not turn your head
To view her.
Her color comes. her color goes.
on either side the landscape flows;
The motor car is the worst of foes
To Cupid
The man who guides his flying car
Along loves lane viii ne'er 20 far;
He'll fetch up with an awful Jar
The stupid
'Tis better then to wisely wait,
And When you strike a tanner rate
Along the path from papa s gate
Why, view her.
ThereH be no throttle there nor brake,
No speeds your anxious thoughts TO take.
No fear Of skid CT bump OF break
So WOO her.
Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
An Easy NIstter.
m the New York Herald

From the New York Herald
The man was playing euchre with the
latest belle Of the Mountain House. while
his bride Of three months was trying To
busy her mind as well as her fingers with
a piece OF embroidery.
Suddenly the husband turned toward his
wife with a patronizing air
Pardon me" he exclaimed: Il hadn't
noticed that 1 was between you and the
light
Oh. pray don't move"' the little woman
replied. 4 can see through you perfectly
weIl.f
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
DIsAGREEABLY AGREEABLE

We simply cannot agree; we cannot
get along happily, and I want a divorce. -
she says to her lawyer.
This is truly unfortunate the lawyer
says. Does he quarrel with your"
No, My gracious. That's just the
trouble. No matter what complaint I
make. he simply sits there like a mummy
and says he agrees with me- Can't you
See how a husband of tnat sort can
WILBUR NEsBIT.
Copyright 1906. By ". D. Nesbitl
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
Dispensary a FasIure.

From he Charleston News and Courier.
The South Carolina state dispensary''
is failure, or an Indifferent success,
even as a money maker, and as a propa-
gator and nouTisher of evils it probably
has no rival among the freak products
OF American legislation.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
More PuzEIement.

From the New York sun
By the way. in fight CT government
control against government ownership,
where does conservatism come in? Who
are the conservatives, and where are
they2
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
Something in Reserve.

From the Baltimore American.
Bryan has said many things in praise
Of the Presidents policies, but be may be
holding the spelling reform question up
his sleeve as an issue.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
WISELY ARRANGED

IF all the world were apple pie. and
all the seas were ink we begin jocular-
ly' but our friend the dyspepuc inter-
rupts us:
If all the world were apple pie" he
growls, all the seas would have 10 be
INK so that the physicians could write
prescriptions for the Chumps who would
be eating the pie"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
GettIne close to the PeopIe.

From tie Pittsburg Dispatch.
Emperor William also feels the need
of getting closer to the people. Rookie
felier. Ryan, and the Kaiser. II will
soon be up to Mr. Fairbanks TO warm up.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
Our Modern Drama .

Good ms lord. viii you see the players vel be-
stow v'dy' HAMLET.
Those of our readers interested in the
evolution Of the English drama will re-
call that the earliest plays were Mira
Gle" plays in which the clergy were the
actors. and that from these were develop
ed the Moral plays and the Inter
ludes" before the historical plays emerged.
And so we see that the legitimate
drama had illustrious antecedents.
What a boon to Washington would be
the renaissance and rehabilitation of
Shakespeare and the Incompatible old
English comedy In some temple OF Thes-
pis worthy Of the city and worthy Of the
theme
Our population is the most intellectual
and cultivated Of the entire country. Our
city is affiuent in beauty and elegance,
and is enhancing i'm these attributes every
year. There could hardly be a greater
benefaction to city and 10 nation than
a splendid building erected here by men
Of taste and wealth devoted TO the high
est histrionic and musical art. A thing Of
beauty. it would be a JOY forever. and an
inspiration 10 the whole land. There Is
"a clientele here which could and should
elicit and sustain the highest artistic
talent
This return to what is intrinsically eX-
cellent and exalted in art Will surely
come Mere snap and sensuousness and
scenic establishment will by and by,
grow wearisome in mimic as they will in
real life
The era OF hustle" is destined TO "suf-
fer a sea change" To Washington fairly
belongs the initiative.
The maturest scholars and thinkers and
moraIists recognize and extol the inhu-
ence Of the real theater and opera.
What temperance homily but pales be
fore rip Van Winkle?' What awakens
loftier devotion than THE Messiah" OF
HGndel2 What prosaic pen ever portray
ed such ideal and perfected manhood as
Hamlet? Indeed, the method Of the dram
atist is more normal method than
that Of the ministry even. For whilst
the reverend clergy warn against the
wretched consequences Of sin, the dram
atist first paints its perilOus fascinatioas
Lord Bacon never uttered a prof0under
truth than that there was no passion
of the human heart but that II overmas-
tered the fear Of death
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
An IchthyoIogicaI Note.

From the Milwaukee Sentinel.
II Mr. Hartman keeps on he will make
the old octopus look like an angle worm.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
Part That Hurs

"He said 7 was a doddering old scamp
exclaimed Senator Sniggins angrily. =
That's a shame i
Isn't it? Why. I'm as hale as the aves-
age man Of half my age"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
You Bet.

And as 70 ideals In America"
What about 'em2"
Are they high?'
sure. Everything in America is high. y
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
Hnrr If VII Wnri..

Say. Jinks."
'WeH?"
why don't YOU buy your wife some
decent clothes?"
"Oh, I've only got her on trial.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23

Senator Beveridge may think what he
pleases about the improperly of a man
owning a billion dollars, but those Kan
sas farmers are going right along raising
corn. just the same.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
InfOrnlers.

From the New York American.
Apparently the country considers that a
man who refuses TO turn informer may
still be a good soldier.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
nefore nnd Mo-.

Ere they were wed his cry was: Dear,
Come here"
But now he's only time to say:
Go way
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23
VnTIrOaded.

I knew man who stole 10 cents, and
though II was his first offense, they let
a banker out on bail to make my friend
a place IN jail.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-23

The Daughters OF the Confederacy
have decided to do away with the spon-
sors and maids Of honor at the reunions.
This will give the veterans an unexpected
chance to be seen IN the parade.