The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-11-21

1850 N"S oS'A IA
him. He went of with his cane ana
silk hat and patent leather shoes. and
she sat down to read. He departed at
s. n it was half past IL when the
doorbell rang. She opened it to find a
boy on the step. He pointed to MIR.
Bowser sitting on the lowest step and
whispered:
Il found him hugging a shade tree
and telling how the Bowsers licked the
British. knew him, and so l brought
him home. I'll help you up the steps
with him."
Bowers Legs wabbled.
Mr.. Bowser's legs wabbled, and his
head kept bobbing, but he was got into
the house and deposited in a chair.
Mrs. Bowser wanted to give the boy a
quarter. but he backed off and said:
Il, couldn't think of it, madam. We
all know what a hard time you have
with him and are sorry for YOU"
when he had departed she got out
he camphor and smelling salts and
let Mr.. Bowser sniff and bathed his
race. In a few minutes he rallied suf-
6ciently to ask:
"Ish That you. Mrsh. Bowsher?"
Eyes, dear"
"1sh This my homemy dear old
homer
EYES,"
"Well, l wanter tell you all aboush
1t. Shay, they made a fool O. me.
Yesh, shir. they made a fool o. me-"
"You can tell me all about it in the
morning. We will be going up to bed
now"
NO, we won't. l won't 60 to bed
till l tell you all erbout it. If I do
I'll bust. You know, l went to a re-
cepshun given by the J. O. BIS"
You said it was the L. o. c. P.,s."
did I? Whash zhat?"
1.-THE Lively Old Cockadoodledoo Pa
triots."
"Oh, yesh. What did l go for?"
1.-The club was to entertain three
members Of the presidents cabinet.
and l suppose it did So"
He Was Only Guest.
mo, l didn't, Mrsh. B~owsher-no. it
didn't. That was all a lie. It lust en-
tertained me, and I'll live 10000 years
to get revenge. Think of the q they
used your poor husband, Mrsh. Bow
sher; think of it,"
Mr.. Bowser began to weep, and it
was five minutes before he could be
Quoted. The camphor rubbed on the
back OF his neck finally aided him to
control his emotions, and he went on:
There wasn't any cabinet officers
there. Wasn't nobody there 'cept q
lot OF fellers who wanted shome fun.
They made me drink sheven cocktails"
mo seven, Mr.. Bowser."
"Sheven great big cocktails, my dear.
n when my head began to swim they
made me try to turn handsprings.
Think of Mr.. Rowsher turning hand
springs"
"And what elseY' asked Mrs. Bowser
as she and the cat smiled at each other.
Made me hop around on one foot.
Shaid l was hopping after the British
at Trenton. Think of your husband
hopping around a room and. everybody
yelling."
ut was awful, Mr.. Bowser. What
happened next?"
Had to Make a Speech.
"They said l must make a speech. I
told 'em l wanted to come home to INV
dear wife, but they only roared and
squirted water ON meme, Mr.. Bow
sher.'
"And her whatY'
"They said l was no patriot, but that
my grandfather sold embalmed beef
to h American army. l denied it and
called 'em liars, and then they threw
-four In my face and made me jump
over chairs and swear to eat the con-
stltution of er United Shtaits."
At this recollection Mr.. Bowser had
another crying spell, during which the
cat meowed in sympathy and the night
breezes moaned dismally. When he
had recovered Mrs. Bowser suggested
bed, and he rose up to try it. His legs
doubled under him, however, and he
sank down on the floor and a minute
later was asleep. She brought a pill
low and a quilt to make him comforta-
bic for the night and then turned the
gas low and left the Lively Old Cocka-
doOdledoo Patriot to his sleep and his
dreams. NJ. QUAD.