davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22

Just on the eve of his departure for
Europe for the winter, Col Henry Wat
terson uttered some timely and sapient
remarks on the bread we eat. Marse
Henry deplores the virtual impossibnity
of obtaining in any part Of the United
States. and especially his beloved South
land, the corn bread he used to eat when
a boy. Although his logic is somewhat
sophisticaL he reasons syllogisucally in
this way:
The race was healthier and stronger when was
a boy
Corn bread formed a principal part Of the diet
then
Ergo either TO corn bread al all or poor corn
bread is responsible for the Ills cf the citizen and
the body polite to-day.
Technically a faulty syHogism, but it IN
doubtedly contains a great truth. We
agree with Col Watterson that we are
worse off for the lack of the wholesome
corn bread that our forbears used TO
feast upon. We eat entirely too much
wheat bread. Indisputably the cause of
the change is twOfold: The secret of the
proper preparation of corn bread died with
the old black nanny and the develop
ment Of the milling industry in the North
west has supp'anted the place in the
larder that used to be occupied by the
corn-meal barrel with the wheat-four
sack. The cooking of corn bread is a
higher art than the preparation Of wheat
bread. Col Watterson knows some of
the secret, but not the essential part of it.
He tells us, for example. that the meal
must come from white flint corn, ground
coarse so as 20 leave bubble of air in
every particle during the cooking process.
There are then needed only little salt
and water and a good cook" As we
before observed, it is the latter part of
the coloners recipe which is understandable
in this day of the ever-present and per
picking servant-girl problem. II is posi-
bic, Of course, 10 have the corn ground
in Just the right way, though even that
is not done much now. It is also possible
10 mix the simple ingredients in just the
proper proportions. But there is still lack
ing one Of the chief essentials-the good
cook. Where Is she to be found?
What passes for corn bread in these de-
generate days is for the most part an
abominaUon. Here in the Nations Capt.
tai there is not more than one public eat
ing house where anything resembling the
real article is obtainable. In a few private
houses-parueularly in some OF the fine
old homes Of dear old Georgetown-pretty
fair corn bread still forms a part Of the
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
STATE RIGHTS AS ISSUE.
Many Democratic Leaders as strong
Tor Capitalization as Root.


From the Baltimore sun.
The idea now has been advanced that II
will be well for the Democratic party to
revive its time-honored creed and do bat
tie in the next national campaign for the
preservation Of that which is left to the
States. However desirable this may be,
however patriotic. it vii! be most difficult;
and the reason is that members Of the
Democratic party have apparently lost
interest In the doctrine OF States rights.
The generation that has grown up since
the war seems TO care little for these
things Indeed. we hear Democratic lead
ers advocating policies Of Capitalization
which go FAR beyond anything which has
been advocated by the party Of centraiiza-
ton. To commit to the Federal govern
ment. for instance, the ownership and
operation Of ali the railroads in the coun-
Try which cross State lines would give the
administration fully as much, If not more
power than HamiltOn's plan of giving him
a life tenure and the appointment OF the
governors Of the States Such power
as that which some Democrats think
should be given ultimately TO the Federal
government would do more 20 Obiiterate
State lines than any other policy o. plan
which could be adopted, and Il would en-
power the President 10 continue himself
III office for life without difficulty.
The doctrine of States rights, however
may be revived into "A living issue by
events. An attack by the Federal gov
eminent upon the right Of the people Of
California TO manage the public schools
they support may rudely awaken people
20 the importance Of cOntending for the
ancient faith-for the right Of local self
government.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
THE INNOCENT BYSTANDER.
THE PLEECEMAN.

me Pieeceman that owns all our street
From our schoolhOuse 20 Perkins store
An watches ever'One he'll meet
I'm not afraid OF him no more.
An he's as blythe PIeeceman is
He's big as ella, an he's got
A grea' big club that he could whiz
Right on your head as like as not.
Wy yesterday I ruined away
Or wanted to-untl ] crossed
That street where all the railroads stay.
An first thing that l know I'm LOST
An SO / cried, but just buhcause
I'm sorry for my mamma then
She'd feel 50 bad If Santa Claus
Don't ind me when BE comes again
An Just right while I'm cryin there,
Wy that big Pleeceman come. he did.
An laugh an say that he declare
II here amt Mister WiltOn's kid,
An I was scared, But he took hold
Ny hand an said I was the beat
An then we walked on. an he told
Some stories. till we found our street.
The Pleeceman he has eyes that squinch
All up in wrinkles when he Grins.
An he just pat my head an pinch
Ny cheeks-An' he's got twO-three
Chins,
An you can't imagine but it's true.
Fore long I wasn't 'fraid. an then
1 notice him until I knew
That PleecemaHs is the same as men,
So when my mamma see me. Wy.
She hug me NO as close an tight,
An that big Pleeceman say. "Good-by.
I've kids II home. mum. it's all right "
So now I'm not afraid % walk
Up % him ike 7 was before
An say How do" an almost talk.
I'm not afraid of him no more
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
PEOPLE OF NOTE.


Whitelaw Reid Ambassador TO the
Court of St james. has come home for
the Christmas holidays and will spend a
good deal of the time in Washington.
While here he will. Of course. be enter
tanned much by the society and diplomatic
sets, who, perhaps, are not aware that he
IS on q diet of a very simple character.
and that they must govern themselves ae-
cordingly, so far as be is concerned ar
Reds diet consists almost wholly Of
milk. eff which he drinks cnpiously and
/ Of oatmeal, the food Of his hardy Scotch
ancestors. Il is said that for a year or
more he has partalSen of no other food
than this. and that the strictress with
which he has observed the regimen. which
was prescribed for him by famous Lon
don physician, has built up his constiu-
| ton wonderfully Mr. REID never pos
sessed superabundance Of physical
strength and stamina, and but for his
extremely careful habits for nearly a
quarter of a century, he would have been
q chronic invalid long ago. if alive at ali
/ II IS reported that he is now in more ro-
/ bust health than he has enjoyed for many
years, and that he does more hard work
/ than he was able to do before his London
I physician put him on the spare diet men
toned. II is further reported that the
/ Reds are delighted with their life in
/ England and that their popularity with
/ the ruling classes over there exceeds that
/ Of any American ambassadOrial family in
that country for many years.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
Copper as barometer of Trade.

From the Review Of Reviews
This is an electrical age Therefore
copper is one of the most accurate ba-
rometers Of trade. In some respects
it is a better gauge of developments
in the industrial world than are iron
and steel. Between 1885 and 1905 the
production Of it increased $50 per cent.
In the same ten-year period the output
of iron and steel rose 145 per cent Cop
per as a medium is doing IN many ways
what iron and steel used to do It's
position is somewhat analogous to that
of concrete as related to brick The
new form produces the same results
as the old, and at a lower rate of cost.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
Men and women.

From the Philadelphia Record
I'm mighty glad to see a sign like
that one said newspaper man, indi-
eating a brass tablet at the entrance
OF a centrally located restaurant. which
read. Restaurant for Men and Won
en-" when one OF Philadelphia
highest-class eating places adopts the
words men and women in its signs.
he continued, lit shows that people are
beginning To exercise a little common
sense in the use Of those wholesome
words. A short time ago q restaurant
wouldn't have had much patronage had
il used a sign like that one. 1t would
have to be called a place for ladies and
gentlemen or even the dreadful ladies
and gents in order 10 thrive"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
THE LULLABY SHIP.

4 ship sailing for Lullaby Land;
And what may the cargo be
woolly dog and a china cat.
A trumpet Of tin and an old torn hat,
Are ready to 20 TO sea-
For Lullaby Land her sails are SCI
90 pray ye the winds be tTlel
She viii gently glide cross the sea Of Dreams
Mid the mambeams bright and the starlight CLEANS
Meath the skies Of sapphire blue
Now IAN abo9rd for Lnllsby Landg'
zone tiny traveller to gol-
The woolly dog and the trumpet Of tin,
Two chubby hands have folded within,
While a golden head droops low
Fair Lullaby Land Is reached at last;
The captains duty IS done
Bv her sweet low voice and her face 50 fair
She has sailed the ship-the rocking chair
To the land Of the Setting Sun.
Margaret Brooks. IN the Hone Magazine
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
Is Patrick pemented ?


The governor Of New York has COM
muted the sentence pronounced upon
Albert T. Patrick. accused of the muir
der of the millionaire Rice. tried many
times. and finally condemned 10 death by
the courts Of the State. Instead Of death
in the electric chair Patrick will now
spend the poor remnant Of his life in
prison. Gov. Higgins has so declared.
and no doubt he plumes himself upon a
demonstration Of especial mercy and
indulgence. Higgins seems to be an in
nocent and well-meaning person. Let us
leave him 10 his harmless and amusing
infatuati0nl
Looking over the history OF the Pat
rick case, we find that he was arrested
October g. 1900. charged with the murder
of William VI. Rice, a week or so before.
simultaneously, one c. F. Jones was
taken into custody by the New York po-
lice. Patrick had been Rice's attorney.
Jones had been the dead mans servant
and valet. In February. 1901. Jones con
fessed that he had murdered Rice He
added. however. that Patrick had insti-
gated him. So in the amazing evolution
OF New York justice Jones went free and
Patrick was condemned 10 death, A
murderer. according 10 his own ac-
acknowledgement. received the favor and
conformation Of the New York courts. and
Patrick, accused by this assassin. was
condemned TO death-On the testimony OF
Self-confessed felon and a notorious
perJurer and all-around criminal In the
n
looks down upon such forI0rn communi-
ties as Boston. Philadelphia. Chicago.
and ST. Louis. IL was generally accepted
and agreed to that Patrick had intro
duced into the twentieth century the
practices of witchcraft which, two or
three hundred years ago, had condemned
men to the dungeon and sacrificed women
TO the fagoJ and the stake. y more abom-
Unable revival Of the cruelty and super
stitution of the Middle Ages we have
never seen or heard Of
But Gov. Higgins goes further. He
says with becoming sorrow that Patrick
has lost his mind and is now obviously
insane. And right here we experience
a genuine relief in finding ourselves at
perfect accord with the esteemed gov
ernoT Of New York. OF course poor Pat
rick is crazy We can easily believe it.
Six years ago he was accused of muir
dering his client William n. Rice. I'M
mediately afterward Jones, the valet.
confessed that he himself had murdered
Rice, but pleaded the hypnotic influence
of Patrick Is it any wonder that Pat
rick. sentenced To death fer crime
committed by somebody else, has grad
ually gone mad after six long years Of
effort TO reconcile the action of the New
York courts with the generally accepted
ideas Of justice and common sense?
Ia our opinion Patrick has a right TO
80 crazy. As matter of fact, we DO
not see how he could be otherwise,
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
Precocity of the Modern Child.

From the London Chronicle
There is no doubt that the thought
fuI child OF to-day would have been the
much-punished child of the past At
the same time the witty child does add
to the gayety Of life. besides enforcing
4 higher standard of conversation
among her reproving elders. 1t was d
mistake, for instance, on the part Of
the renrOving elder 20 tell one of these
wits of the nursery that If she was so
naughty she would not go TO heaven
TheAIittIe culprit seemed impressed for
a brief moment and then she gave a
resigned sigh. ooh, we'll" she re
marked I've been to two theaters and
4 party and a circus. can't expect to
go everywhere"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22

From Harpsr's Weekly.
II Is related of Joseph Choate that
when he was very young man. just
starting out TO practice law. he was
once retained by a shopkeeper 10 de
fend him in suit for damages brought
by an emplOye. Unfortunately for Mr..
Choate, his client lost his head com
pletelv under discrimination. fur
nishing evidence so favorable to the
prosecution as 10 result in a $4,000
verdict.
The merchant was. nevertheless.
highly indignant with his lawyer for
having lost the case. and when they
encountered each other at the court
room door. he clustered.
If ] had a son born an idiot I'd
make him lawyer
Your father seems TO have been of
another opinion" replied young Choate
COOlly
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
Misjudged.

FIun1 Inc bohemian.
The manager of an Office had adver-
tised for an office boy. In consequence
he was annoyed for an hour by a
struggling line OF boys Of all sizes,
claiming various accomplishments
We'll" he said TO a late applicant.
Il suppose you can read anything, and
write anything, and figure little, and
use the typewriter a little, and
Nav interrupted the boy. IF
could do all them things, I'd strike
yer fer yer own job. ! amt nothin'
but an Office hoy.
He got the position
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
SUFFERING AMID PLENTY.
why Is IL Our transportation sys-
tenn Fails 10 Move Traffic.

From the St. Louis Republic.
II is an amazing and a mOnstrous thing
that in the year Of our most bountiful
prosperity people with plenty Of money IN
their pockets should suffer with cold for
the lack of fuel And yet in parts OF
Kansas and the Northwest many are in
danger OF freezing because the eoal-haui-
ing service of the railroads has broken
down completely.
Is it through inefficient management
that manufacturers, merchants. farmers,
and shippers of grain, live stock, and cot
ton from one end Of the country to the
other suffer daily losses on account Of the
so-caled car shortage, or have the rail-
roads become wholly and hOpelessly in
adequate 10 move the traffic Of the cOun-
try2
This is the question upon which light is
expected from the Interstate Commerce
Commission. No more important Ques-
ton has confronted the business and in
dustrial interests Of the country in many
year.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
The English IdIom.

From the London Chronicle
Our English idiom is perhaps no worse
than that of other peoples languages,
but it sometimes leads even the native
into strange sayings, which he does not
realize until it is pointed out TO him. Can
you tell me where 1 can take an omnibus
to Islington?" asked the countryman Of
a policeman. Il can tell where there Is
an omnibus that will take you" answered
that precise official. Leaving this to sink
in. ne then added more kindly: Want to
go to Islington?'' Ne answered the
countryman, pleasantly. i don't want to
go 10 Islington, but I have TO go
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
Attic NONSENSE.
THE MYsTERIous PERIOD.

Presents stuck away and hid;
Presents by the score.
Presents under every lid,
Back of every door.
When into some drawer you'd go,
Scat the women say.
What IS it alarms thems so?
Presents put away.
Presents in the Darlor CRATE,
Presents IN the clock.
Things enough car to freight;
Endless is the stock.
II behind "A door you peer
There is fun to pay.
What makes every one so queer?
Presents put away
Presents under foot, it seems,
Presents overhead;
Tucked behind the garnet beams.
Hid beneath your bed
Why does every woman wear
Thro' the livelOng day
Such a hushed and solemn air?
Presents put away.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22

trust SLs4 a ton. No wonder the Ameri-
can Ice Company could make profit
ranging. according to the bin of COM
plant. from Il to 81 per cent. and pay a
dividend of 9 per cent on a swollen capi
talzation.
Money wrung by extortlon from help
less consumers Of a universal necessity is
an exact description of the ill-gotten
gains of this predatory corporation. It's
practices. assuming them to be correctly
described by Attorney General Mayer.
have been under the ban of the common
law for centuries. They ought not to be
tolerated in any civilized community II
will be a strange commentary on Mr.
Roots Capitalization speech If the sover-
eign State Of New York shall fail in its
plain duty to bring such wanton and
INSCRIPTIONS lawbreaker as the ice trust
to the bar of stern and unrelenting jus
tice.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
SECRETARY HITCHCOCK.
Men of His Stamp Needed In other
Executive Departments.

FROM the NeN OK sun.
Speaking in all respects for Mr.. Garfield
it is a pity that Secretary Hitchcock
could not have stayed in office longer
He says he is getting old. andsthst after
eight years Of painful labor and solicitude
be would retire 10 private life He has
gone far toward the publication Of the
public service; set an example which, if
resolutely and intelligently followed, will
contribute largely to our common Sc
curity and pride; but those who have
carefully watched his course and ra-
tionally appraised his character agree
with all needful unanimity. that the ad-
ministratlOn would be the beneficiary Of a
regime which should carry not only into
the Department Of the Interior. but into
all the other executive departments Of the
government the sternly patriotic pr0pa-
ganda which Mr.. Hitchcock has inaugu-
rated Il may be that Mr. Garfield will
confirm and celebrate his predecessor. Let
US be optimistic at all costs
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22

From the san Francisco Chronicle.
Give you the only room left in the
house tonight said Room Clerk Allen.
Of the Baltimore, as he dipped pen and
started 20 hand It TO the new arrival.
Where is ito" asked the man from
Modesto, which they say is another Mis-
souri, for mules and show me people.
What floor is it On?''
Any floor you like; top middle. or Of
fee"
Don't kid me. young fellow. I want
to sleep on the top floor.
All right Front, Boy, put a cot in the
cage at midnight and tell Bonnie 10 let
the elevator remain AZ the top floor till
morning 90
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
Anecdote of Columbus.

From Puck.
Many stories are told relative to the
shrewdness of Columbus. He thought
America was Indiana, but otherwise he
was not 70 be deceived.
Particularly. he saw through the
specious tales of the natives at a
glance
Far inland, by the shores of a sea
of sweet water" declared these chill
dren of the forest, "a native copper is
not seldom found
Native, but of Irish descent, no
doubt" observed Columbus, aside, TO
his encourage.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
All she Asked.

From the Chicago Record-Herald
But" she said after he had held her IN
his arms for a long time, there Is one
thing which I know you would not be
willing to do for me-"
'Ah, Garling." he fervently replied. "you
have not guessed the depth of my love, or
you would not say that. ! would do any
thing for yOu-anything. sweetheart, any
thing,''
GO out in the kitchen. then. dearest.
and tell the cook it is twenty minutes
after L, and that Il IS not respectable Of
her to keep her beau so late"
Then he put on his hat and overcoat and
Hurried out into the night
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
FILLED the Bill.

From the Houston Post
I would like to equip your house with
our latest improved burglar alarm"
Don't need it."
1T will arouse you instantly at any
time Of night"
Our present one does that"
Whose make IS it?'
Its our baby
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
ann Fre.h YOUNG state.

From the Omaha Bee.
In suggesting amendments 10 the Con-
stitution of the United States before they
are in a position To go further in the line
Of reform, members OF the oklahoma
constitutional convention show precocity
calculated 10 shock the sensibilities OF
older States
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22

daily diet. But in the garish mansions OF
the rich who have reared piles Of stone
and brick to serve as their habitats in
the social season. good corn bread is a
rarity We doubt not that these opulent
persons would revel in the gastronomic
delights of corn bread If they were able
to secure It. But. aye. there's the rub!
John Chamberlin used TO provide his
patrons with real corn bread. But, alas
and alack! death always loves a shining
mark, and so John Chamberlin was cut
down all too early. High revel amidst a
flow of soul and a brilliant flash of wits
used to be of daily occurrence at Cham
berlin's. That was when the nation s
great men were fed on corn pone by the
genial John. He either was unwilling or
unable to transmute the mystery of its
preparation to his heirs and assigns. The
result was the closing Of the place made
famous by his corn bread soon after his
death. And we strongly suspect that an
other result is manifesting itself in the
disruption of parties, the Earring quarrels
between the coordinate branches of the
government. the rapid multiplication Of
problems with which the craftsmanship Of
the period seems unable to cope. and the
general chaos that pessimism, the intel
Iectual ailment that accompanies dyspep-
STA, foresees and proclaims.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
Information Wanted.

In case 7 can't secure count for your
daughter inquired the marriage broker,
would a viscount do?"
Well. / don't know" responded the
cautious millionaire. ANY discount on a
viscOunt?n
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
Mr. Cockran's Honeynloon.

From the Augusta Chronicle
As Mr.. Bourke CockTan's salary has gone
right along during HIS wedding tour, II Is
perhaps a pleasant thought to him that
his absence has been about as dear 10 the
government as his presence has been to
his bride.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
Lowden and the game Laws.

Representative Frank O. Lowden, the
son-in-law Of the late George NJ. Pullman
the palace-car magnate had an exper,-
ence q few years ago which has made him
one Of the most enthusiastic supporters in
the country Of the game laws. Mr.. Low
den was member Of the house com
mittee Of the Union League Club az Chi
Cago in 1885 when a dinner was given by
that organization to William Mckinley.
whose candidacy For President was then
at its most critical stage. The dinner
was as splendid an affair gastronomically
as IL was Intellectually and politically. It
so happened, however, that one OF the
local guests was a Chicago newspaper
man. who is one Of the leading amateur
ornithoogists In the United States and
who devotes a great deal of his spare
time to the study and protection of birds
The piece de resistance Of the dinner con-
sisted of grouse. The laws of Illinois
prescribed heavy penalties for the killing
sale. purchase. or consumption Of grouse
at that particular season. The ornitholo-
gist accordingly reported the offense to
the game warden the next day. and every
member OF the club responsible for the
menu of the dinner was promptly hailed
TO court Among them was Mr.. LOwden.
There was talk OF having Mr. Mckinley
appear as a witness against his hosts OF
the evening before. Mr.. LOwden and his
fellOw-culprits. ignorant of their violation
Of the law, We're let off with the minimum
fine, but never since that day has the
Chicago Union League Club violated the
game laws Of Illinois 1t was the only
time I was ever yanked up by the courts
and fined said Mr.. Lowden. III discuss
ing the affair. but it served me right
and I guess the full penalty of the law
should have been imposed upon US"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
Manufacturing a JoI.e

TN hard W for a Joke" declared the
humorist
There's The reliable old Christmas
cigars Joke, suggested the friend.
'Oh. I'm not that hard ID"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-22
Weight and Force.

From the New York Sun.
How much longer was President Roose-
welt in Panama than was Poultney Bige-
lOw2-Chicago News.
It is not a matter Of time, but of mo-
mentum