The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-11-22
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A. EiNJ WITH :.
47SrW UNCLE BY
A Fall Idyl.

| ms may SOUND queer 10 CITY Dleu
folks who don't know much about
farming, but the man or woman who
| was once a country boy will under
| stand. The man or woman who was
once a country girl will also feel
thrill at the suggestion of happy days
| down on the farm among the grass
hoppers, the lightning bugs and the
| pip. All, well | remember how we
| used TO go down to the river bank in
| the rosy Autumnal time and harvest
| hoppergrasses!
The proper time to thresh grass
hoppers Is Just after the rural poet has
| sent to the county seat paper burn
| ing poem redolent of deep aud flaming
woods, a heart throb intensified with
lines once more assuring us that the
frost is on the pumpkin and the fod-
der's In the stack
Then It is:
| Autumns fire burns slowly in the wood.
| Day by day the dead leaves fall and melt
| The purple grape hangs lustrous there.
| The woods are fun of crimson hue
| The melancholy days are come.
| The days are yellow, mellow, ripened
| White and dainty coudlets float
| The summers throbbng chant Is done.
| The season is one of mist and mellow'
frutfulness
No, Curly Locks, this isn't poetry. +
am just telling you about the Autumn.
time when grasshoppers are ripe.
Well you go on down through the
| beautiful vista of color and ragweed,
down the squirrel haunted hillside,
through the ravine where Ole Thomp.
son keeps his Durham bull, on and on
over the hill and through Ryestraw's
| barbedwire fence to the river where
the grasshoppers are summing them
| selves free from rheumatism con
tracted during frosty night
There amid the beautiful splendor
of the harvest time and with the dry
leaves rustling all around, you sneak
ruthlessly upon the hopper crop and
swat 1t in the concentric with your
old plush cap. AS fast as you swat
one you put It In your pocket and keep
on swatting.
Gee! how that one tickled the palm
of your hand There Is only one thing
that makes a mans hand tickle more
than the sawy legs of q grasshopper.
It's when he gets backed into the
rear parlor with q crate fire slumber-
ing in the chimney corner and dim
pied hand very much awake in his.
The light is low very low, indeed, and
ma and pa have gone to bed The
girls hair Is berry brown, there is a
rose in each cheek heaven in her eyes
and a ticlilishness In her palm that.
makes you want to yell for help.
Then, all at once, you realize that
she does not need any help and you
hang onto her pulsing warm hand
and squirmingly announce that the
angels are singing rag-time when she
is ever nigh. You tell her but to see
her was to love her and never love
another! You tell her the fragrance
of her presence is Utopia on earth,
that her orbs of sight are like great
stars that ever shine benedicion
upon your soul!
Oh, you get away up in the air-and
come down with thud when she asks
you how much money you have saved
MANY a man. says she sweetly,
keeping her ripe, rosebud lips con.
servatively in the background asks
a woman to fly with him when he
hasn't enough money TO buy pair of
, chicken wings in a Chicago restau
rant"
, And then you can't stand the tick.
ling any longer--and neither can she
and your lips meet in suction
draught that-Curtain! Well, any
how, you begin to save after that and
( when you have $50 in the bank your
argument that the two Of you can live
cheaper married than you alone can
D live single, takes root and you get
: married-and begin to buy the baby
3 | shoes,
a That's just the way a grasshoppel
D tickles in your hand oh, yes. was
' talking about grasshoper threshing.
t Well you giggle around with your
: hands and your pockets full of grass
t hoppers until it is time to unwrap the
r fishline and get busy. Then the black
I bass come to the banquet and pay the
e penalty of their greed
l. Did you ever notice that greedy PEG
s pie always pay the penalty of Thea
g folly? Whenever | am invited out to
u dinner and eat so long my wife has
e to make the family countersign or
S kick me under the table then | have
L dyspepsia next day and abuse my of.
n fee boy You just can't get away
" from it--and neither can the boy when
his grandmother is dead and the base
p ball season is over.
i Now, of course, | hate to compare
u myself to a fish since | got on the
water wagon. but, well--isn't it more
q humane to catch the fish than to over
9 feed him and give him dyspepsia? It's
hard on the grasshopper. know, but
u he has no business to be grasshop-
Q per!