Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1906-12-04

He-Mav 1 have the next dance.
Miss Butei She-I'm engaged, Mr..
Gay. He-oh, what's the odds! Why.
I'm married.-Public Ledger.
Wlfe-When l die you'll never find
another woman like me- Hubby-What
makes you think l should try to find
another woman like you?-Sclssors
Clara-That man Grace married is
old enough to be ner father. Myrtle
Oh, think his age has been exagger-
ated; very few people live to be that
old.-Puck
Mrs. Jubb-Wake up! John; I'm
sure burglar is down in the pantry,
and he's eating all my pies. Mr.. j.
Well, l don't care, just SO he don't
die in the house.-American Spectator.
Under what circumstances" asked
the chief examiner, would you call III
another physician for consultations"
when l didn't want the patient to die
on my own hands, promptly answered
the medical student
PA, what's the difference between
a profession and a trade?" The man
who works at trade quits when his
eight hours are up. The man who
follows a profession has to keep on I'M
til his work is done. Chicago Record
Herald.
Chesterfield, during his last illness.
was driving. A lady overlook him.
How glad | am" said she, Ito see you
driving out" Madam" said Lord
Chesterfield, with smile Il am not
driving out l am simply rehearsing
my funeral"
Miss Gaysett (after every other
means has failed) I've named my
new saddle horse after you, Mr. An
kerd Mr.. Ankerd-Hah-Ah
Extraordinarily Miss Gaysett-
Yes; it's so dreadfully hard to make
him go.-Puck.
Little boy" said the judge, do you
understand the nature OF an oath?"
Maxim q swear?" YES" IL know
all about it, judge" answered the
youthful witness. Il sell papers right
in front O. de gas company's Office
Chicago Tribune.
American Cousin-I reckon the sons
of some of our millionaires have
pretty hard problem to solve when they
can't decide whether to go into busi-
ness and live up to their fathers repu-
tations, or go into society, and live
them down.-Punch.
She-Oh, Jack, l forgot 10 tell you
I've got a French maid at last Do
you know any French? l don't He
Oh. | know a few words, like cherie,
mon ange, ma belle. She-What do
those words mean? He-Oh, she'll I'M
derstand.-Pick- me-up.
Gridge-That will be a fine mar
riage, a splendid alliance. The brides
father is rich. She just rolls in gold.
The bridegroom is rich, too; he made
fortune in copper. Bridge-Thats
not an alliance; it's an alloy.-TrS rs
lated for Tales from lie Rire.
why" asked the agitator, should
the wage-earner be at the beck and call
of his employer I'm not" said the
auditor, who was yawnlng. i've got
my employer so that he minds every
word say and asks no questions. I'm
n chauffeur. "-Washington Star.
De Long-So you didn't get anything
out of your rich uncle's estate. eh2
Shortleigh-Not yet, but | expect to
get most of 1t some day; am engaged
TO the daughter Of the attorney for the
estate. De Long-Good! Let me con-
graduate you.-Chicago Daily News.
Wife-But, my dear, you've forgot
ten again that to-day Is my birthday.
Husband-Listen, dearie; / know
forgot it, but there isn't thing about
you to remind me that you are a day
older than you were year ago.
Translated for Tales from lie Journal
pour Tous.
Attorney-Have you formed any
opinion on this case? Prospective Jul
ror-No, sir. Attorney-After the evil
dence on both sides is all In, do you
think you will be able to form an opin-
ion? Prospective Juror-No, sir. At
torney - Good! You'll do.-Chicago
Daily News.
The Lady-Do you clean houses1
The Vacuum Cleaner Man-Yes, ma'am.
We have a four-cylinder machine, and
We'll take away every atom of dirt
"All right; my husband has just been
spending his vacation on a secondhand
auto. and wish you'd start on him al
once"-Life.
.'Well, Willie, L suppose your nose
ss completely out of joint since your
little brother came" "No, 1t hasn't
made any difference with mine; but
mas Is. He bumped 1t against the door
when he got up in the dark to hunt for
the catnlp, night before last"-Chicago
Record Herald.
"My DEAR" said Mrs. Newlywed, her
face flushed with the excitement of her
afternoon in the kitchen, II want you
to be perfectly frank with me now.
What would you suggest to improve
these doughnuts / made to-day?"
well" replied Mr.. Newlywed, lifting
one with q slight effort, Il think IL
might be better If you made the bole
bigger" Times Star.
Rossinf's Lnziness.