The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-07-04

that there was 10 ,:!:.ger OF an eXplO-
sion.
Coa:. |. Fearful.
'If tiie.e is. la'aI..' replied the cook,
'don't lieep it from me-. You know I'm
the sole support of an old father. If l
should be histed about twenty feet and
come down on my head there might be
fatal consequences"
She was treasured. and Mr.. Bowser
walked around the house until 10
O'clock and then took a piece Of carpet
and spread it beside his cucumber bed
and stretched out on it with his ear to
the ground. Mrs. BOwser wanted an
explanation, and he gave it by saying:
II want you to go into the house and
keep as quiet as you can. Take the
blamed old yaller cat in with you. I
want to listen to the seeds generating"
Twill they terminate after they gen.
erate?" she asked as she prepared to
obey.
He sat up and glared at her and
worked UP Il red color in his face, and
she picked up the cat and tiptoed in.
When the door had closed after her
Mr.. BOwser lay down again. He
couldn't see to write in his notebook.
but he mentally recorded things as fol-
lows:
II have my ear to the ground listen
ing for sounds. IT l am right in my
figuring the cucumber seeds ought to
burst open before midnight.
Hear the sounds Of cats.
'T1ear a cricket singing.
"Hear Mrs. BOwser singing.
Shear a fishworm boring his way
along the ground.
"Hear''-
Threw Can at Him.
Mr. Bowser scrambled up. The alley
gate was open, and some belated boy
passing along had thrown an old peach
can at him. He shook his fist at the
speeding boy and made threats and
lay down to resume.
Il hear a tick, tick, tick!
"Durn those cats!
II am quite certain that the seeds are
now popping open.
"That crash cannot be the seeds gen.
erating"-
1t wasn't. 1t may have been u
! SAOlEp lOONll1S W lOuSlAA6 III OuuC
shed who passed up the alley and
heaved an old potato at the recumbent
figure. The missile struck the fence
close by, and Mr.. Bowser sat up and
thirsted for gore. It was five minutes
before he had his ear to the ground
again ana wa saying:
II am sure l have struck it.
'There are sounds like miniature ex-
plosions in the cucumber hills.
II am certain that l shall be within
half an hour of my original calcula-
tons.
"If l cain show the farmers of Amer
lea that cucumber vines may be looked
for above ground in eighteen days and
Ave hours after the seeds have been
planted BY thunder. what sort of a
noise Is that"
samuel Bowser. l am here!'
It took Mr.. Bowser about three Sec
onds to get upon his feet. He looked
toward the alley for a boy with a to-
mato can, but he saw none.
II I'm here, Samuel. and l want you
In the house,!
He turned and saw a female form
In the kitchen door. He didn't need
half an hour to identify It. It was a
female form he had been seeing at IN
tervals for the last thirty years.
"You-you here!" he finally STAN.
mered.
Eyes. Samuel, your mother-in-law has
arrived. 1t seems l have come Just in
time to prevent you making a fool Of
yourself. The idea Of your being
stretched out there on your stomach,
with your nose in the dirt! Were you
roofing for potatoes?"
II didn't invite you to come down."
he sulkily replied.
mo, Samuel, you didn't. I have a
little way Of inviting myself. You will
now come into the house and leave
those cucumber seeds to the mercy Of
the cold world, and you may then put
both ears to the carpet on the floor and
bear what l have to say to you. Come
right along. Samuel. You lever can
get way from me until you grow
wings"
Mr.. Bowser cast one long. lingering
look at his cucumber bed. listened for
q moment to see If he could hear any
more ticks and then humbly followed
the woman Of destiny into the house to
takes his medicine. NJ. QUAD.
Literary Englishman-One peculiari-