The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-02
HUMOR OF THE DAY

Il HUMOR OF TIE DAY
7 don't see what you admire in Blink
ley's new auto. Is It the steering
mo"
the. The Limousine body7"
The. ..T6s way it is hnished9"
Then what in blazes do you see in it
Binkiey's daughter. Plain
,4 The Haekm ma, cat Niagara)-That's the
The. Tourist Cfrom Eden vailey)-I see.
An thet there other ones the Horsepow-
Upson-Do you get that rundown feel
!; Qo3wns-Every spring. Why, I've been
MT by an auto once a week for the last
two months.-Detroit Free Press.
A mar. who lives few miles outside
q rarInlngtOn, Me, recently sent a small
boy Win an order to Pennington hard
ware man. which read as follows: please
SEND one axe for boy seven years old
that weighs three pounds, handle and
aH"-Buffalo Commercial
=, What I! wouls you do If you were a
III II dc not know sweetly answered cls-
cript. -'7''4 aus
I got a circular the other day from
green goods man, and nabbed him al
DID you turn him oyer to the polIce?'
Why should |? 1 buy all my plants
from him Baltimore American.
What do you consider the principal
features OF corrupt legislation7'
The ayes and noes, for these features
enable corrupt legislation first to scent
jobs and then to wink at them. ''-Balti-
more American.
What makes you think Kivikrich is
nan 81 such high character2"
Omaha News.
Gentleman Ito Irish ostler. who has
brought out their horses)-Thats my
ostler-Yes, sorr, OF know that: but
didn't know which Of the two was the
other gentleman 5, sor.-Punch.
Eft want some kind of a present for
Sweetheart or sister?"
will be yet-"-Judy.
Farmer Foddershucks- want a good
square meal young Teller.
Waiter-Yes, sir. Table d'hote or a la
Farmer IA little O. both. an. have
en- well done. An bring me some veg
etables on the side.-Cleveland Leader.
Mr., Jayback-Tve got a new stenog-
Mrs. Jayback-Brute. I suppose the
other wasn't pretty enough for you!
Mr.. Jawback-Itfs 2 man.
Mrs. Jawback-Unfeeling monsteri Try
ing. to make the people think I'm too
jealous TO nave girl, eh2-CleveIand
Leader.
An archdeacon lsuch respectable origin
is necessary to warrant It's circulation
Is said to have invented the following
conundrum: Why is parson like a
camel? Because he can &c. on and on and
graph
The railroad official was on the stand
And you accepted shares from the
Karat Coal company
And why?"
That company had more than its share.
wealth." replied the witness with unri1f-
fled caIm.-Philadelphia Ledger.
George" said Mrs Ferguson. 81 know
IL is early IN the evening yet, but would
you mind lying down on the lounge and
what for9'' asked Mr.. Ferguson.
Because the baby is fretful and your
snoring always lulls him to sleep.''-Chi-
caso Tribune.
Doctor. can't you give me something to
relieve my sleeDlessnessz"
yes. I could prescribe a sedative, but
drugs would do you no real good. Instead
OF IndI let me recommend a large. fat
onion to be eaten raw just before going
to bed.
why. doctor. that's exactly what keeps
me awake.
How can it possibly have that efrect?.
My wife eats it.'-Chicago Tribune.
First Fish-The boat began to leak and
while ago and landed me in the bottom
of a boat It was like being in iai
Second Fish-How did you manage to
escape2
First Fish-The boat began o leak and
some one bailed me out.-Detroit Free
Press.