Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-05-06
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

TIA this column win b. answered an questions
Of proper nature submitted to The Stat II,
once. In case Of daacuIt eonundraIps answers may
b delayed for Q week two. Consequently 10
may Be adyisabie for All Qusstioners 10 watch this
column carsfafiy.I
PoHIcK.-fleass tell me the quickest
way to open an oyster. A.--Restrain the
animal with the left hand and tickle him
under the chin with the index digit OF the
right. When he opens his mouth to gigsls
you've got him
LEG1SLATIvE.-How many amendments
have been proposed to the railroad rate
bur Awe can't answer that Just now.
Our adding machine broke down last Fri.
day and we got behind good deal. Watch
this column next Sunday.
INQUIRER-Is this the proper time Of
the year to whitewash things7 A-Seenls
to be. The Senate Is using Its brush on
Barnes. Not his fault either that it doesn't
seem to stick.
A. N. F.-A distinguished public man has
threatened TO pull my nose In public. What
shall do7 A.--Greass the nose carefully.
His fingers will slip. Won't 1t be a joke
on him?
MLSERABLE.-Is quinine q good thing to
take for O cold? A.-Oh, yes; but be care
once and the druggist nearly had us Jailed.
Although he had his back turned, over
looked mirror.
FERDINAND.-Are Senator TilIman and
Benjamin +. Barnes good friends7 I saw
them walking down the avenue the other
day arm in arm. A.-Change your brand,
Ferdie before It lis too late. You're see-
ing things for fair.
HIsTORICAL.-Is 1T true that Pocahontas
Tow TC|1 C,,af4 Pcs
doubtedly. He was about to eat one OF her
homemade biscuits when she relented.
Touching incident. amt it,
BIBLIOPHILE.-what Is the Latin for
Barnes viii not be confirmed?" A
"Ejectum Fillmanus Morrisoriam." Oh,
splashl
FRANTIC-The baby swallowed double
eagle last week. What shall do? A
Don't lose the baby. Gold is going up.
REPRESENTATIVE RAINEY OF Hill
NOIs.-What did you think OF my speech
on the watch trust, Uncle Jasper? A.-The
speech was all right. and the watches were
real, but SO far as we know the trust hasn't
run down yet.
NATURAL1sT-Are green apples good
for the health? A.-That Is question.
Some people think that San Francisco will
be a more prosperous city than ever as a
result of the recent earthquake and fire.
No? Yes? Savvy?
/. X. x.-What Is the proper method OF
hugging girl? A--Skidoo. You've got
your wires crossed. This isn't the Police
Gazette.
WORRIED-Is II better to have long legs
or short legs? A.-They should In all cases
be long enough to reach from the body to
the ground. All In excess OF this is a mere
matter of taste.
FINANCIAL.-What was the reason for
the terrible slump In the stock market
last week? A.-Easly explained. j. Pier
pont Morgan oversight himself on Monday.
and on Tuesday afternoon John d. Rookie
Teller had slight attack of indigestion.
The panic followed as matter of course
AGNES.-I am so unhappy. A young
man loves me. but says he can't ask me
to marry him, as he has O. terrible in
trinity What shall 1 dor A.-Cheer up
little one. Cold feet never did spoil real
true love.
REPRESENTATIVE HULL OF IOWA.
Dear Uncle Jasper, 1 have been very much
shake hands with you. May 1? A--Oh,
certainly. Let us know when the hand
shaking Is to come off Well have a cake
Of soap and a scrubbing brush handy.
will adjourn? A.-Weve quit thinking.
Even Uncle Jasper has got to sleep soms-
times. UNCLE JASPER.