davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07
Say Excursions Hurt Business

At recent meeting in Chattanooga
the Southeastern Passenger association
voted to restrict the number of excur-
sions that are run out of commercial
centers on account Of the complaint OF
manufacturers that workingmen are
too free to take advantage of excursions
and that their business is hurt thereby.
The sense of the meeting was that but
one excursion should be run each sum-
mer by each road
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

Bernhardt in Venice auditorium will
be far better than Bernhardt in a tent.
and the press agent will find just as
much novelty in it, too. BY all means
let's have the divine Sarah. even one
third mile at sea.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

Another huge hotel for Santa Monica,
and rapid progress on the one now
building in Long Beach show that the
coast towns are sharing in the general
prosperity that makes Los Angeles the
busiest city on the map.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

1t is proposed to divert the immi-
grants now flooding to New York
through the port of Galveston and into
the south. where half million laborers
are needed right now. That's the most
sensible move made by the government
In many a day.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

BY all means. the Cahuenga valley
and colegrove regions should be taken
into the city right now. These people
are entitled TO all city BENEFITS and
are anxious to pay for them. open the
gates.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

How does it happen that Ananias
Willie doesn't claim that he "done it"
to the coal strike? Was the longest
creased liar asleep at the switch?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

The president. the railroad senators
and Uncle Joe cannons house having
compromised on rate bill. that meas
ure stands show TO pass. And then
1t viii be up TO the courts to side
track It.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

The one regret about the Fiesta is
that Wabbly Willie will be too far
away to see what success can be
made when his yellow sheet knocks
fhinn.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

That toilet paper factory about to
start here will find one serious rival,
in the person Of Willie Ridiculous
Hearst and his vile sheet.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

OF course Ananias Hearst claims the
credit for the oil and sugar trust re-
ports Willie 'done it" with his longest
CREASED liar.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

Conried, in redeeming all San Fran
cisco opera tickets, merely does what
everyone expected. That he does it with
good grace is the part to his credit.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

The pleasing assurance is given us
that $1,000 men are at work on the
Panama canal. Very we'll; but how
many are shoveling dirt? That's the
point
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

A solid trainload Of automobiles of
one make left New York April Is and is
now on it's way to Los Angeles. That's
going some, eh?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

The Germans, in Staying 400 natives
in East Africa, seem to be aged in
little benevolent assimilation of
their own.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

President Mitchell of the coal miners
says strike now would be the height
Of folly. Which proves that he has
reached the depths Of wisdom.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

ID. A. Hamburger who ought to know.
says It is up 10 Los Angeles to supply
the needs OF San Francisco's former
territory IN a wholesale way. Ger,
tainly; watch Los Angeles rise to the
occasion.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

If saloon license as now constituted
is not assessable, by all means let us
have one that is. 1t is the chief asset
of most grogshops.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

They are Threatening to punish
Mormon bishop because he has two
wives. Isn't that punishment enough?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

The oil trusts have arrived at the
denial stage. That report Of Garfield's
must have hit pretty close to home.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

Agricultural latcrers threaten to
strike in Porto Rico. That island is
rapidly becoming Americanized, it
seems.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

Once there was recall started in the
First ward. Then somebody got good
look at Dock Houghton, and
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

Everyone decorate for La Fiesta.
Except Hyena Hearst he doesn't
want It.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

The G. A. r. may come here in 1908
BY all means; the glad hand to the ex,
soldier!
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

There will be no coal strike The
miners, for once, realized that they
were beaten before they began.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

Incidentally. will we have those owl
cars for the Fiesta?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07
Population Of Los Angeles 22S.29S

Lest we forget-owl cars run yet?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07

Hang out your banners on the outer
wall. La Fiesta, you know.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07
Pl-LineS and Pick-UDs
our Unpopular song esIssy--NO. ~

Our Unpopular song eaIaxy--No. ~
WHY
Words by Knight owl. Music by
Knight Hawk
Wat are the people waiting for?"
says Files-on Parade.
The all-nisht car. the all-nisht car"
the copper-sergeant said,
why DO they cuss? why do they
swear7' asks Files-on-P Parade.
Because the damn car doesn't runi"
the oopper-sergeant said.
Oh. they're swesrin' all like sailors;
you can hear the night-hawks
howl.
They arc damning Of the trolley and
the comp'ny, cheek by jowl;
They are cursin' of the city and their
lanwidse II is foul,
Cause the all-nisht cars don't
run till in tn morninI
hen, which Is a trifie more than the hen
would do for congress.
II Is better to be a coward and run
away than to be a hero and make the
trip In an ambulance.
The steel trusts new model city is to
be called Gary, not Corey. Corey would
hardly be a good name for a model any
thing.
England now ships Worcestershire
sauce to the Fill islands. Is baked mis-
sfonary losing its piqusnt flavor?
Just a Little Habit Of His
10 c.
John Ellis cut young White severely
with knife, there being no reason for
it.-Dallas (Ore) Itemizer.
The difference between Pompeii and
San Francisco Is that Frisco has the
energy to dig herself out Of the hole
and not wait 1000 years for biologists
to dig IT,
London Truth says so many actresses
are becoming peeresses that the aris-
tocracy of Great Britain should soon
be known as the actressocracy.
Recognize III
An chronological exchange says the
song OF the nightingale is as follows:
''zozozozozozozozo zozo-zirr hading
III e--zezezezezezezezeZez - couar = no
DIE hoe!
Higaig aig aig aig aig aig-guiagaig-
ir-dzio-dzio-piv
A nightingale must be either madly
in love or very drunk to sing like that.
Pat Grove has become a lecturer.
STILL let us not be too hasty to con-
denim him. He might have gone on the
stage or opened a saloon.
president Roosevelt is apt to think
aloud says the London Spectator.
And then sometimes he does not want
to think.
If Rockefeller owns the earth why
not hold him responsible for the earth
quake? The dastardly old villain!
Miss Harm has sued Mr.. Sachs for
$50000 for breach of promise. 1t is al
ways cheaper to keep out of Harm S
way.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-05-07
REPUBLICAN ASSAULT ON THE TARIFF

Republicans Some Apprehension az TO
Next Campaign
the New York (Rep)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
THE DAY WE CELEBRATE.

The Journal of the American Medical
association has completed its compiIa
ton Of the Fourth of July statistics
The total number of deaths from
tetanus is given as rs, from other
causes. SO, making a total sacrifice to
the day Of 1853 lives. The fatalities were
not so many as last year, neither from
tetanus nor other causes, and this Is
ascribed largely to the more intelligent
care of those sustaining toy pistol
wounds.
The total number Of injured is given
as 5,3Os. the largest number in the four
years statistics were compiled. OF the
injured % suffered complete loss of
sight, Y the loss of one eye, SIS the loss
Of legs, arms or hands. and 277 the loss
of fingers. The giant cracker was the
cause of the largest number Of acct
dents and fire arms in various forms
came next. The canes and caps, which
were at first heralded as safe for noise
making purposes, have proven not so
harmless as supposed. The caps in ex-
ploding often cause penetrating wounds
in the ankles and legs, the parts most
exposed of the small boy in knee pants.
The canes also explode when over
charged and the particles of Iron are
capable of doing considerable harm.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
JOURNAL ENTRIES

So far Mrs. Russell Sage has not
called upon King Edward and En-
peror William to advise her on the best
way to dispose of her money
It is noted that the great yield of
wheat and corn in Kansas this year
has been accomplished without the aid
of Mr.. Luther Burbank.
Uncle Joe Cannon has been nomi-
mated for congress Is times. It will
take ten years for him to reach %.
Having settled the meat inspection
business the department of agricul-
ture at Washington is now making an
investigation in order to determine the
Why should the department waste its
time on fieas when the grass is full Of
chigres?
Mr.. Bryan probably Will not neglect
to call at King Alfonso's house and
leave his card. The king is spending
a short vacation in Scotland.
If the assessors would place the cor
porations on a meter service instead of
a fiat rate they might get more taxes
out of them.
Mr. Rockefeller is now said to be
slapping people on the back as well as
striking them in the pocketbook.
X X
Both the Democrat and Republican
state conventions of New York are to
meet at Buffalo on the same day. They
might as we'll fight it out there and
then and save further bother
X x
If Addicks is becoming short of
money he ought to move to Texas.
Senator Bailey's denomination cost him
only s41.80.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

From the Philadelphia Record
When lovely women stoops to folly
it takes her some time to get the crick
out of her back
The difference between a saloon and
a cafe is that a Jag costs more in one
than in the other.
Some people remember the Sabbath
day to keep it holy, but don't bother
much about the other six.
The peacock wouldn't be so proud If
he only knew his tail was going to be
made into a feather buster.
According to a popular moral code a
debt of honor must be paid, even
though a fellow has to rob his employer
to pay it.
Floor Manager-"See here, why is it
we cant sell any of these bathing
suits2' alesgirl-"They are warranted
not to shrink"
The people who preach the doctrine
Of making hay while the sun shines
generally do it under a sun umbrella
with a palm-leaf fan in each hand
Mrs. Newlywed-"How much is your
brown bread2'' Baker@''F'ive cents a
loaf Madam Mrs. Newlywed-~And
are you sure the-er-color won't run ~
The sea serpent doesn't seem to get
around this way any more" remarked
the guest. NO" replied the summer
hotel proprietor. mot since the gold
cure people started a branch establish
ment at the resort"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

of the precious basic metal was Dug
from the earth in 1905. This IS an IN
crease Of $4,000, 600 over the production
of 1904, and Of sz25. 900. 900 over the PFC
duction of ten years ago. The present
output of gold is now 800 000, 900 greater
In value than the value Of 3ota gold and
silver ten years ago. Nor i there any
sign that the gold tide has reached its
flood. If half told of South Africa, Alas
ka, Australia, South America, and our
own gold field is true. 1906 viii pass the
half a billion dollar mark. It is by no
means impossible that those now living
viii see billion dollars in gold produc-
ed year. From 1899 to 1896 the es-
timated gold production Of the world
was approximately nine billions. Since
1886 the production has been approx
mately three billions. In ten years the
production has been one-third as great
as in the 400
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
.LAYHA WKER JOTS

Many Kansas newspapers are now
able to run "25 years ago this week
column.
One day last week the postmaster at
Minneapolis handled a ton and a quar-
ter OF mail
"Parson" Stewart of Goodland, has
decided not to be the Democratic can
didate for representative in Sherman
county this fall.
Our good friends, the Democrats =
is the way the Hill City New Era re-
fers to the opposition.
The Bloomer Girls baseball team is
playing the shortgrass circuit and IS
billed at Scott City August %.
The day Of Miracles are not past.
One of them from Kingman county
will teach school in the canal zone.
Latham Mirror: A cabbage head A
inches IN circumference and Weighing
10 pounds is on exhibit at the Mercan-
tile. 1t was raised by P. F. Dace.
census of the carnival companies
operating in Kansas this summer pro-
baby would show them to be about
as numerous as threshing machines
Recently the Mankato Advocate
wanted to bet that there isn't boot
jack in that part of the state, and
Smith Center comes to the front with
one made in 1851.
The Kensington territory has fully
two-thirds of an average crop of wheat
/
have a half to two-thirds OF a corn
crop" and appears to be thankful for
that much.
Not very long ago there were seven
weddings in one day at Saltna. To
even things up there are now twenty
two divorce cases on the August court
docket, or more than one-fourth of all
the civil cases.
Cofeyville is getting so all fired
smart that they are growing canta-
loupes double down there. That is,
they are not satisfied with having the
single round kind, but they are raising
melons like Siamese twins.
The season has been a little too dry
for peaches this year, modestly remarks
the Western Advocate, and some of the
Jewell county fruit is not much larger
than the peaches produced in CalifOr-
MIA and Grand Junction. The flavor,
however, is better.
Henpecked husband item from the
Howard Courant: A big coarse voiced
old rooster, in the south part of town,
chickens, and he is having a busy time
of it. He can cluck like a hen, all
right, and the chicks seem to take to
him perfectly.
The editor of the Ottawa Independ-
ent says that. when citizens of Ottawa
go up town on dark night, they spend
one-half the time stumbling across
peoples lawns and the other half fall
ing in the gutter and Roy Tapley is
mean enough to ask. What part do
they spend in the cooler SOLDERING up?''
Live stock item in the Holton Re
corder: H o. Skunk, who recently
came to Holton from Kansas City,
brought with him two thoroughbred
water spaniel puppies that he had sold
to a New York man for SIS. Another
pair in the same litter sold for $50 and
the two remaining puppies sold for $25
apiece.
Luray Herald: Last Monday, Ed and
Tom Mahoney of Bunkerhil, threshed
8, $40 bushels of wheat. During the day
they broke their drive-belt which de-
layed them As minutes. They also had
to stop occasionally to wait for grain
wagons. They were not trying to make
any record breaking run; and the above
is simply the excellent result of a good
days work.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

siderah I know your family b.
name. as perhaps you do rnine-the4
Thompsons-and il might make =
bold as To-
He had the roll Of bills in his hand.
and the girl Instantly OWNED his good
intentions.
1T IS kind of you, indeed she re-
piled, but we came back TO the note1
to find ourselves IN great good luck
My Uncle Billy Is on the floor above
had him down here minute ago to
tell him Of our loss, and he mas gone
for money for US. There he comes
now, the dear old soul"
What in thunder and blazesf ana
Texas and several other things do you
think has happened" shouted the old
gentleman while yet hundred &eet
why. Uncle, what Is it? This is
Mr. Thompson. His people live only a
few miles from US
IT don't care a tinker.s dam about
the ThOmpsons nor where they liver
shouted the irascible uncle. I've been
robbed in this hotel Yes, sir; I've
been robbed of five hundred dollarS!
why, Uncle Billy, is it possiblel''
Some one entered my room and took
it out of my satchel while was down
here. Thought I had locked the door.
but guess I didn't I'm going down
to tell the hotel folks that I'll sue en-
for double the amount"
But he didn't. It was an embarras-
sing situation for the student. but for
tunately he now saw that he must tell q
straight story to be believed. When he
had told It he grabbed for his hat and
asked for five minutes start Of the po-
lice, but they gave him a great deal
longer one than that. In fact. the humor
Of the situation got on the nerves OF all
four after q while and when they had
got over laughing and talking about
curious condolences and truth being
stranger than fiction there was some
thing like good fellowship all round.
Nobody had to leave an unpaid hotel
bill and nobody had to walk to Con-
necticut.
What? Are Walter Thompson and
Miss Nettie Blank IN lover" asked the
village gossip.
In love! Why. they're engaged. and
Miss Blanks uncle gave them $500 for
an engagement present
Copyright. 1906, by ". R. Caldwell-)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
TRANsCONTTNENTAI, REcoRD


The across the continent" record
for automobiles has been cut in two.
L. L. Whitman and c. S. Carris landed
in New York last week. Is days, one
hour and so minutes from San Fran
cisco. The best previous time was
made by the same gentlemen in 1904
when they crossed in 80 days and %
hours.
The trip was a remarkable one in all
respects and was accomplished only
after enduring terrible hardships in
crossing mountains and deserts and
rivers swollen by floods. They took
the Union Pacific route leading
through the mountain passes of the
Sierra Nevada, through 500 miles of
desert and the mountainous country in
Wyoming. They were buried in quick
sand in the desert, nearly drowned in
fording a swollen river. and Travelled
for hundreds of miles through a coun-
try where there was not sign of a
road During the $500 mile trip. an
average of 24O miles a day was made
Omaha was passed nine days out
and Chicago was reached on the
eleventh day.
Probably the trip will prove to be
important aside from the mere fact
that a new record was established. It
should go along way toward giving a
boost to the good roads movements.
With improved highways the trip
doubtless could be made in much less
time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

The savage stopped on the desert sand
Where his blistered feet on the sage
brush tired
And he turned and lifted threatening
hand
In the face of his awful God.
his shadow waved in the furnace air,
HIS eyes were cut by the binding glare
u ne sun 5 hot rays like hammer beat
W nile the far hills danced in simmer
ing heat,
Ihal s1note him like a rod
Til wild rebellion seized his soul
ana ne turned to strive with God
He fitted his arrow without a word,
And long he aimed at the cruel sun.
Then loosed the shaft and the bowstring
whirred
And the. awful deed was done.
The arrow sped to its shining mark,
tlash, a roar. and all was dark,
Ana the gloom that over the mountains
stole
Fell thick and black on his savage soul
His heart grew numb with frantic dread
he crept through the dark TO his home
That his brothers and friends might strike
him dead
Who had brought such a curse on his
fellOW-men.
" hen the waning day was nearly Ger
de CROPPED his way to the Wigwam door,
But men, thru awe. to him were kind
Whom the God chastised by striking
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

When on a trip the hunter or fisher
man generally has to have a guide, and
IN many parts of the country an Indian
IS often the only one who possesses the
necessary knowledge. He cannot be
picked out by his employer as one would
under ordinary conditions select his
help, but is usually recommended by
some one who knows him. He comes to
US, therefore, as a stranger. and each
has to find out the oecullarities OF the
other
AS we meet. we salute him with an
extended hand and 2 How do?" His
hand greets ours without word in re-
turn and-we do the shaking.
The next move is ours. We inquire
about the hunting-is it good this year
around here?
"O-yes," is the answer. uttered in a
one-syllable grunt.
Can you take us where there are any
deer or moose? ?"
Dyes"
How far will we have to go for
them p"
There" and his arm sweeps a length
section of the horizon in frorr O. Us.
"Oh, yes; we suppose 50, but how
many miles is it?'
mot far
But don't you know. how many miles
we will have to go to get TO where these
deer and moose are?"
oh four-fve-ten miles," is the in
DEFINITE yet exhaustive reply. He ap-
pears to have made a superhuman effort
to answer our question, in that he had
to speak four words too many.
We then resolve to try different line
of questioning in cur search for infor-
nation, and so smile our pleasure at his
last answer.
How long will it take US to get
there?"
mot long,
"Wen, how many hours?"
For answer to this he smiles in an
ignorant way as if he did net under
stand, so we pull out our watch, and
say, What time will we get there2''
Tomorrow
But there is no use to complain
against the Indians procrastinatio who
believes tomorrow is just as good as
today. And. after all, may he not be
right?-John Boyd in August Recrea-
ton.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21
Moro VolnhiIitv-

Senator Beveridge was condemning
notoriously corrupt and VIGOROUSLY plaus-
IDLE capitalist.
THE man speaks we'll" said Senator
Beveridge HE promises much IF he
acted he talked he would be famous
for his goodness. But, alas! he is like the
German who nearly lost his daughter.
This German. with his daughter, was
walking beside a deep stream on a sum
mer afternoon when the young girl slip
ping on stone. fell in. And she would
have drowned but for the prompt bravery
of a youth. He, slipping off coat and
shoes, plunged in, and after four or five
minutes of hard work, brought the girl
safe ashore.
ed
Noble minded youth" said he. I'VE do,
indeed. owe you a debt of gratitude A
hundred thousand marks or my daugh-
ter's hand-choOsei Which shall it be?''
1.-The youth. who was no less wise than
brave. thought to himself that If he took
the daughter he would some day. get the
money also, and accordingly, without a
moments hesitation, he made answer:
I choose your daughter
" a wise choice said the old father
I could not have given you the 10000
marks, for. I am only q poor cobbler. but
you shall have the girl and that gladly.
Join hands, dear children. and receive
my blessing. Exchange
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-21

Are you the editor that takes in the
society news?'' inquired the caller. an
understood man. with a timid, appeal
ing look n his face.
yes. sir" replied the young man at
the desk. Il can take in any kind of
news. What have you?"
why, it's this way" said the caller.
lowering his voice. MY wife gave a
swell party last night. and I'm willing
to pay to have this report of the affair
put in your paper"
I'VE don't charge anything for pub
fishing society parties" observed the
young man at the desk, taking the
proffered manuscript and looking it
over.
That's all right" was the reply.
you don't understand I wrote this
up myself and I put in a line or two
that says. Mr.. Halfstick assisted his
distinguished wife in receiving the
guests That's the way I want it to
go in, and I don't care if It costs a
sovereign line. I want my friends to
know. by George. that stiIl belong to
the family! ''-Tit- Bits.