The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-08-11

| We hai nlnu 10 write q maya
Zine sonnet" go ahead-that's Just
what 1t takes. Cleveland Leader.
lis your business on a running basis
yetT Il should say 90; always run
when I see a creditor comlng."-Prince-
ton Tiger.
Its never too late to mend" argued
the customer. ooh, yes it is" answered
the journeyman tailor, this is a union
shop Puck.
Lady-1t's very changeable weather,
Isn't 1t, William? Road Mender-Yes,
that 1t is, Miss. We don't get a single
day alike Punch.
First night Of unappreciated play
He-Are we alone? Voice from the
Gallery-No, guv'nor; but you will be
tomorrow night-Punch.
"Ycu reckon Br'er Thomas got into
Paradise| II can't tell fer sartin.
All l kin say is-de mule kicked him
ter de gate !"-Atlanta Constitution.
Mr.. Saphedde-I-aw-re cawnt
believe the things I cawn't understand,
don't yon know. Miss Pert-What a
terrible skeptic you must be.-Phila-
delphia Record.
What He Needed.-Mike-Are ye
much hurried, Pat? Do We want a
docthor? Pat-A docthor, We fule!
After bein' ruined over by an automo-
billyf What OF want Is a lawyer!
Henry. I must have a new outfit,
and l want to give you credit for gen.
erosity." Cali right, my dear, II you
can persuade anybody to give 1t to me
for anything else."-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Teachcr--How many commandments
are there. Sally7 Sally-Please, teach
er, ten. Teacher-Suppose you were to
break q commandment. Impressive
pause.) Sally-Then there'd be nlne.-
Punch.
Perseverance.-"I think" said the
reporter, that the public would like
to know how you managed to live to
such great age" "By perseverance"
replied the centenarian. II Just kept
on livin'."
This is the time Of year." said the
suburban citizen. "when like to get
out and dig up the ground" $50 do T."
answered Mr.. Foozling. That's the
reason l am trying to play golf."-
Washington Star.
Not PROFESSIONALISM have to say
is this: You're going out into the
world. You'll find the road rough. But
strike out, my boy, strike out" "Not
If can help It," replied the young man.
I'm going to be a baseball player"
Across the Garden Fence.-"No, Mr..
Wilkes, I Amt goin' to keep fowls no
more. Don't pay. Why countln' the
maize I give 'em this winter. the eggs
well, l don't git any, but II did
they'd cost me art crown each ~
Punch.
A Good Find.-"Aibert. dear, while
looking through some Of your old
clothes, I made such a lucky find that
1 ordered new dress on the strength
Of it." "What was 1t, dearT "Half a
dozen checks that had never been writ
ten on"
A Great Feat.-Jones Ito Brown, who
has been relating his wonderful adven-
lures in Russia And I suppose you
visited the great steppes of Russlaf
Brown should rather think so. And
walked up every one of them on my
hands and knees.
Try again Mrs. Nuwed-Here's the
bread I started to make to-day. Isn't
1t too annoying? Mr.. Nuwed-Why, It
isn't baked at all. Mrs. Nuwed-I
know 1t isn't; that's just It. put
plenty of baking powder in 1t. but the
powder doesn't seem to have baked II.
Drug stores sell Ice cream, soda wa
ter, confectionery, and a lot of other
things that are not medicine" said the
man who complains. That's true" an
swered the pharmacist. "But most of
them are likely to lead to the consump-
ton of medicines. Washington Star.
"Why, Willie. what are you crying
about" "'Cau-e ] don't get no Sat-
urday holiday like the other children
does. Boo-hoo" "But why don't you
get out of school on Saturday 7"
"'Cause I amt oil. enough to 60 to
school yet. Boo-hoo-h !"-Cleveland
Leader.
Parson Bagster (solemnly) Does
you, Claud Kinsabby, take dis yuh lady.
Miss Gladys Poots, to be yo' lawful
welded wife, for bettah and for
wuss-- The Groom (uneaslly and
zily)-Uh-cou'se does, II has to,
sab; but amt dar some way OF takin'
her kindah on an ave'age2-Puck.
THAT rich Mr.. Spooner is the most
provoking thing! He asked me II I
was 49," "And what did you say2" ~
said, Mercy, nor And he said he
didn't think any woman should marry
until she was 49," Gracious! What
did you do then2" ~ called after him
that l was S3 my next birthday. but he
didn't seem to hes. me."-Cleyeland