The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-13

1IEvER THINGS THE WITTY AUTHOR
SAID ABOUT THE JEWS.

fhe Way He Compared His Coreli-
sionists to United States Bonds-His
Illustration of Some of the Striking
Hebrew Characteristics.
Some years since Israel zangwill
when on a visit to this country deliv-
cred an address In New York city to
his own people. A few Of the epigrams
which he then coined concerning the
characteristics of the Hebrews are here
offered:
The Jews had no country Of their
own. They could not possess the land
Of their fathers In reality. So they
made portable Palestine. They car
ried it wherever they went. This was a
spiritual country. 1t could not be as
sailed by their oppressors.
| There have been two conceptions of
the Jew-one that he lends money and
wants it back again, the other that he
deals in old clothes. The truth is Jews
have been everywhere. They have
been everything except pope Of Rome,
and they have come near to that If
they dealt in old clothes it was because
papal DEGREES forbade them trading in
anything else but old clothes and old
iron.
Jews in way were as good as Unit
ed States bonds, only United States
bonds may be converted. but when a
Jew was converted he lost his value.
Because Shylock was rich and Jes-
sica beautiful all Jews are rich and all
Jewesses are beautiful. I wish it were
so.
A good looking Jew was considered
the fool of the family, which is conso-
latiOn for some of us.
The black plague swept over Europe.
The Jews escaped by reason of their
different hygienic laws. The Christians
charged them with poisoning the wells,
and thousands Of Jews were put to
death for not dying Of the plague.
Colonel Roosevelt told me that the
Jews Of his regiment were among his
bravest soldiers, and when Hobson had
to be kissed it took Jewess to do it.
Jews not only furnished money for
Columbus expedition, but his first
lieutenant was a Jew. This officer dis
covered tobacco, which Is greater than
America.
Carlyle said the Jews had no humor,
but Carlyle was Scotchman.
A beggar stole spoon from wealth
Ter member Of his race who had enter
tanned him. When detected the beggar
said: "By taking the spoon 1 broke
the eighth commandment, which says,
Thou shalt not steal' If 1 had not
taken it would have broken the tenth,
which says, Thou shalt not covet.' 1
saw had to break one commandment
anyhow, so 1 thought 1 might as well
| have the spoon"
1t has always been the desire of Jew
ish fathers, however rich, to have learn
| ed sons-in-law, however poor. do not
find this custom prevalent today.
To illustrate why there are no good
Jews In fiction Mr.. Zangwill related
the story of the lion and the cub. The
cub had seen a painting Of Samson
vanquishing the lion, and said to it's
parent: II have seen many contests
between lions and men, and always the
men have been the victors. Why are
| there no pictures showing lions over
towering men?' ut is because we
lions have no painters" was the par
ent's reply.
The Jews have been scattered to the
four winds among all the nations Of
the earth. They have been Of immense
service to every country that has har-
bored them. 1t reminds me Of the story
Of the crocodile which opened it's mouth
so that bird might go into it and eat
the leeches which annoyed it. There
was mutual benefit from the operation.
1t is not strange that sometimes the
Jews find the crocodile's mouth closing
upon them. It was natural that Jews
should cOngregate around their syna-
gogues. They became to some extent
isolated from the people among whom
they dwelt. This isolation brought with
it suspicion, and suspicion caused more
isolation for mutual protection.
In medieval times the nations Of
Europe had a conception Of the Jewish
character compared to which Shake
speare's Shylock was a saint. 1t was
this that brought about the compulsory
ghetto.
There are two general types Of Jews,
the German and the Spanish: The
Spanish Jews speak mixture Of He
brew and Spanish. The German Jews
speak Yiddish, mongrel of bad Ger
| man and every other language in the
world.
The Jews financed the crusades vol
unfairly and involuntarily. There was
nothing they had not financed, not even
their own persecutions.-New York
Herald.
The Difference Between Two Poets.
Claudius on being asked what was
the difference between him and Klop-
stock replied: "KlOpstOck says, Thou
who art my inferior and yet my equal,
| approach hither, and, STOPPING to the
ground, relieve me of the burden Of
these dust begrimed neither integu-
ments,' whereas I simply say, Johann,
come and pull off my hoots.'"
Nothing In 1t.