Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-09-30
FUN ALONG THE
WAY WITH THE
STAR SPECIAL

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adjusted my countenance to the proper
| sympathetic cast.
Grand thing for u.s." he continued
bithely.
at must be-" assented in satirical gut
turals. But the liquor man didn't seem to
notice.
Business Booming.
Yes" he went on business is certainly
booming Some town goes dry pretty nearly
every week. and every time that happens
we have to work overtime to keep up with
the demand. Our plant has been running
Of nights now for a considerable sped.
made an estimate recently that IL the whole
state goes dry well have to make a half
million dollar addition to our pant to keep
our proper share of the business"
OF course after that I quit using chest
tones to show how badly | felt. There's
no sort OF In shedding tears on the
shirt front of man who is as much OF an
optimist as that. 'Twould be foolish in the
extreme
From the sublime to the blind tiger!
That was the drop had to make
There's regular arithmetical feature
about the wet and dry problem that is quite
attractive I learned from the smiling
alcohol-maker that IL a wet town, wearing
four saloons on its civic bosom, goes dry
on a Monday afternoon. sixteen blind tigers
will be open for business by Tuesday morn
ing. Correspondence, II a wet town Of fifty
saioon-power has a spasm and reforms it.
self the tigers ready for trade by the next
day will approximate two hundred
1 am probably lacking in some basic
principle of intelligence. but can't for the
life Of me see why they cali these places
blind" The thirsty soul who drifts into
one Of these facetiously dry towns looking
for drink of something that will bite him
on the way down needn't carry telescope
along. If he ioafs around in receptive
attitude long enough King Alcohol will
waltz up and slap him on the back. And
If he goes out looking for 1t he can have a
spirit foot bath within the half hour.
. 1 saw tiger-I refuse to call them blind
any more-that I'm told was a pretty fair
sample of the whole family. 1t was two
story house painted white and bearing
across its front and sides In big black let
tiers the words Happy Hooligan Restau-
rant" So after breakfast this morning I
strolled over to It, full OF curiosity and
Golden Rod ham, to look the tiger In the
eye Just inside the door OF the Happy
Hoohgan" was q small case containing as
many as seven packages of fea-bitten local
cheroots, and on a rickety counter in the
far corner Of the room reposed several
elderly ham sandwiches. Behind the
counter stood one-gallused native with g
bilious eye. looked at him and he looked
at me.
Anything 1 kin do for you alp he in
quired after long stare.
Nothing, thank you," / replied. with ex-
cessive politeness. 1 was mighty disap-
pointed had expected to see the tiger.
The Back Room.
81 reckon what you all want is in the
back ROOM" continued one-gallus. solemn
ly. 1 gave him a guess for his reckon
and followed my nose down the hall to a
room considerably larger than the one at
the front of the house, and absolutely
empty But on the wall dingy sign
in a gilt frame, and this is what 1t said:
l. Push button and place your money on
the elevator.
2 Push button again and give your or
der.
3. Move along.
couldn't see any more elevator than
rabbit. but I pushed the button anyhow,
and almost from under my feet I'm glad
1 wasn't standing bit to the left-a sec
ton Of the flooring, about two feet square,
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