davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25

dividuals, men with pockets stuffed
with 800 and $1,000 bills and beauti-
full, engaging women, filling the corri-
doris of the house and senate and reach
ing the members in their committee
rooms, there to effect arrangements,
financial or otherwise, for the mem
bers' support or opposition to certain
legislation. There are fairy tales about
gorgeous banquets being given, where
costly wines are served and the be-
fuddled congressman seduced into
pledges of support for questionable
bills. There is little or no foundation
for these romances.
Lobbying is being carried on, but 1t
is on a more dignihed and extensive
scale than common reports suggest.
There will be any amount of wire pull
ing, log rolling and lobbying in con-
nection with the railway rate legisla-
ton this congress is considering, but
anyone who expects to detect money
passing from lobbyist to congressman
or checks for goodly amounts thus ex-
changed will be disappointed.
Just now the greatest lobby that is
being discussed is that operating
against the statehood of Arizona, The
report is that the big mine owners in
that territory are too we'll content with
existing conditions to want statehood.
The assessments Of mines and railroads
are ridiculously low. One mining prop
erty, capitalized at s15,0O0,00O, is as
sessed at $4,000 To keep this haly-
con condition of affairs it is said the
big mine owners will spend money
away up in the seven figures, but there
will be no vulgar display of the long
green" If such a campaign is entered
upon. It is much more likely that
members of the senate and house will
be given an opportunity to get in on
''good things" at advantageous figures
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
FIREMEN DIFFICULT TO GET
New Men Put on Heaviest LocomO-
tives Where Work Is
Hardest.

The United States army and navy
departments are finding 1t difficult in
filling the ranks when new equipment
is added. When large battleships or
heavy guns for sea-coast defense are
completed the departments are embar-
raised by scarcity of men necessary
for the operation of the machinery.
A similar condition Is already COM
mencing to show itself with the rail-
roads. They are supplying themselves
with large additions to the equipment
Of locomotives and cars, but the
scarcity Of firemen and brakemen in
some sections is becoming serious.
Tho want Of firemen may be ex.
planned to some extent by the fact
that there is a tendency to require new
firemen to work on the largest loco
motives and the rules Of the Firemen's
brotherhood sustain the older men in
securing the places where work Is
least laborious. Employment fol-
new men under this condition is no
longer attractive and the men who
were formerly eager to secure posi-
lions as firemen now find no difficulty
in obtaining equal wages for work
which is more pleasant and less la.
borious. The solution of this difficulty
evidently lies in the development and
use of the machine stoker, which will
perform the hardest part Of the work
of firing large locomotives. The de-
signs for a successful machine for do
ing this work have been worked out
but they do not appear to be so COM
pletely developed as to insure a gen.
eral adoption.
# the volume of business is so great
this winter that the railroads cannot
handle it with improved terminals
ample tracks and sufficient supply q
| locomotives and cars, and the weak
point is lack of firemen, then the man
agements must take up more earnest
ly than heretofore the automatic
stoker for locomotives. This is be
lieved to be found the most effective
method for preventing the congestion
of traffic in the future. Freight block
AIDES now seem imminent and it IL toe
late to prevent them by such means
during this season, but if the railroads
resort to the obvious remedy it should
produce a boom in the stoker business
next year.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25

2 46o inert SiEAtTn vas Hunpty. q
tnlo Pullman. ~
had q catechism Of = time seeing
Mater Rogers, but about in the
afternoon was aquirtad, Into his ONES
By q MOriuesfaee Nut what must.havo
had Paris-green Prunes for lunch.
Bleeding Biscuitsi but Rogers has
got great Face on him. II makes ne
swallow hard when think Of It in thd
dark. onet saw a oil picture Of q
white battleship shooting at . blach
torpedo boat in q night storm. That's
Him, all right.
He took me letter and told me 10 slb
down.
He looked at the bottom Of Il, then
at me. He read about half of It ana
slipped a Naughty Grin like business
man telling his wife she don't under
stand Politics. Then he ct up the rest
Of 1t; and, Great Bumps! l could just
see the sailors inside Of him bringing
up shot Tor the guns.
was getting set to soak him in the
watch chain with me head II he come
for me VIXEN the door opened and IN
comes the Original Human Church.
His Steeples was as bald as a Fly's,
Heaven. IL was a mosquito I'd be
ashamed to take the money. Rogers
give q swift, private-code look into the
Cathedral Windows, and sed:
Mister ROCKEFELLER, read that
Curisn Dastard's latest insult" =
His Steeples took me letter cool as
a prayer book and read 1t through
twict without a Bark. Next he takes
of his glasses, as slow as II It was
Sunday Afternoon and forty miles
from church. Then he looks up, SLOW
ly opens his Talk Factory, and SEE:
mister Rogers, won't you g, kindly
step into the mex room?"
They went out, looking like a
Marble Monument and Sea SerpenV
going to drown their Mother-in-laws,
and closed the door behind them, but
the wall was only dinky glass and I
could hear them fine as q phono-
graph. ;
Rogers touched OF his cannon
first, and SEE:
Il have kept Mum as long as am
going to. That Brass beaBed vulture
has reviled me till Every String Fin
me Harp Kisses with Hellish Pains.
The time has come to go after, him
with all our guns. The public are
amazed at our Tabbycat Silence and
think US prison.guilty of the charged
AS evidence, consider those doings
in Kansas and the bunch Of search
me Investigations recently ordered.
That stuff Of Donohue's won't melt
the peoples ear-wax. Nothing short
of Real Thing Reply, hot from my
own Personal Gas Range, will satisfy
them, and stem the dirty tide which
this Boston Boaster has started
humping. I'll admit that Ice House
Silence is dignihed, but when 1t Is
had at the price Of public confidence
it is too much of a Luxury for me-
palate. You must release me from
my promise not to talk"
He spelled like a actor and
marked down in me nut every fat
word he sed, so could hand it to the
Boss right.
CTo BE CONTINUED.)
Copyright, 1906, by G. w. Dillingham; Coz
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
ToMMYs JOKE WAS CRUEL
Practicing Upon His Fathers Words
he Panied Miss
Passee,

One evening Miss Passee stayed tG
dinner and Tommy, az a great favorite,
was allowed to have dinner with the
company. Growing restless at dessert
he was sent out of the room, but in .
few seconds he returned with little
dresden clock from the sitting-roOn
maptelpiece, relates the Tattler.
Gracious, child" exclaimed the
mother, what mischief are you up to
now?"
Coin to try a speriment," replied
Tommy, with Importance.
Miss Passee Uttered. THE dear lit.
tie fellow is going to try an expert
ment," she gushed. How clever Of
him"
While Miss Passee was speaking
Tommy had carefully placed the clock
on the table in front of her. With a
mysterious gesture he laid his finger
on his lips and enjOined silence. No
one stirred.
After about two minutes Tommy's
strained expression relaxed and he
clapped his hands IN exultation. 1T
goes!" he cried, triumphantly; 'it
goes! You were wrong, papa" Tons
my's father said nothing. but looked
apprehensive.
"of course It goes, child" laughed
Miss Passee What made your father
think it wouldn't?"
well" replied the little fellow, sim.
ply, 'he said your face would stop q
| clock"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25

Of me smeller, like a fly cop, I sed,
fussing me fare in the place where the
Black Moustache ought to be:
mister lawson, you need Word
Plumber. There's a Leak in your
catch basin. Give me the go-ahead
bell and I'll put you wise"
Then l told him the whole story,
He give his cigar a couple of mad
dog bites and then he takes me by the
shoulders and SEE, swift but kind as q
missionary:
"Humpty, you're q good boy. By
CAD, you're worth any two men /
know. You can play Croquet in my
Cemetery Lot any time you want to-"
Then he hands me Ten Spot, right
CT the roll In his overalls, and tells
me to come back in three hours.
went out on the street looking for
q Bank to do me Private Business
with, and swelled up so Mud-rich that
l couldn't feel the sidewalk. nor tell
the Apple Woman from Little Eva.
was Johnny-on-the-spot when the
three hours had went down into the
Wrinkle, but the Boss was at the home
plate with the bat in his mits when
sailed in.
He looked Absent Bug for a minute,
like a travelling man wondering II he
can trust the chambermaid with the
watch he left under his pillow, and
sed:
.srT,,,.,E,r Ah,v 1ov ftGs 1uroDO 20
send a boy on Z mans errand, but
don't know a man can trust, so here
goes. want you to go over to New
York tomorrow night and take let
ter to Mister Rogers. The job must
be done. Secretly. If anyone should
get wise to your trip, or If you fall
down on any part OF me instructions
it will hurt me more than can make
you understand. You must deliver the
letter to the Main Squeeze himself
and talk to no one but him. Do you
think you can do it?"
Sure as Roosevelt" seq l, "hrC
away"
at will be necessary" SEE he. "fol
you to be next to the contents Of the
letter, 30 listen Hard:
II think 1t would be worth lot o.
money to Mister Rogers to have M
Stop doing something that I'm doing
and am sure we can Both make NOR
money by playing the Game together
/ will write the letter so to make hin
Wise to this fact and all you have Il
do is bring back his answer. 1t viii
be Yes or No, and IL it's Yes he vii
tell you q day, hour, and place wher
we can meet. II he should Welch Of
Me and print the letter you must b
ready to tell the Boston newspaper re
poTters that a man what win tel
you how to describe come to you
house at 10 o'clock at night. Civ
you the letter and instructions, an
told you would phone you at the I'm
perial hotel In New York at 9 in tn
morning, which, OF course, won't do.
l inhaled all that the Boss handle
me and blew out OF me Cigarette Chin
ney what was Chop suey to me Rec
son Works.
I -
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
NE AND !
LAWSON
By RICHARD WEBB
Illustrated By ". ". psnsiov =
and n. Aleshirs.
IN SIX SECTIONS
SECTION II.
Scrambled OIL.
'Opyrisht, 1905. By 9. ". Duiinghs~ CO..

SECTION II
Scrambled OIL.
The FIRST day l wore the lawson col
lar put a patent leather shine on the
Tonneau of me Pants setting outside
Of his private Scheming Vault, looking
wise.
l must have made q hit with him
from the Jump, because he kept me
sticking plaster close all the time. l
did me best to catch his pitching and
railroad the guys he didn't want to
mouth-organ with.
There were a couple Of Roof-garden
Robbies in his once Chorus what
called the White-spat Sisters, because
they dressed in tandem and rushed the
same Acterine. The word Leaksky was
printed all over their Face Plates and
put 'em on the Slippery Elm Card
from the start,
It wasn't long before caught them
pulling the bung out Of the Boss's Sc
cret-keg, and it was Ne to the Pinker-
ton solo.
swan into the Boss, Just as he was
having . careless picture Of Himself
took for the magazine, and after
breathing heavy through both barrels
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
ONLY Important auestiOn.

Two men were disputing over their
respective churches. Finally one called
a neighbor who was passing and asked
his opinion as to which was the only
church in which to be saved, WELL"
said he, my son and have hauled
wheat 10 the same mill nigh on to 40
years. Now, there are two roads that
lead from our place 10 the mill--oue's
the valley road, t'other takes over Tia
hill. And never yet. friends, has the
miller asked me which road l took.
but he always asks; IL your wheat
gooar
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
NO FARE ON THIS RAILROAD
Train on Brooklyn Water Front
Docks Carries Passengers
for Nothing.

The shortest railroad in Greater New
York, since the Marine railway was
bowled out of existence by the en-.
croachments of the ocean and the rival
trolley cars, is the one that runs
along the Bush docks on the South
Brooklyn water front The road itself,
SAYS the New York Press, is less than
mile long and runs from alongside
the Thirty-ninth street ferry slip
down to the end Of the company's Zine
of stores and piers. It's equipment
consists of one ordinary passenger car
and one small engine that is kept in
such good condition that it looks as II
ID were on exhibition in an industrial
show.
The train is not run on any schedule
but simply to accommodate two
classes of passengers-fruit experts
who go over to the warehouses to In
spect consignments Of lemons and
other tropical fruits before buying
them, and Italians who are returning
to their native land On the line OF
steamers that dock at those piers.
When the fruit experts use the one
car it's interior resembles that Of the
ordinary first-class car on any Of the
big lines. But when the Italians fill
it with their bundles and babies it is
usually as crowded as a bridge car in
the height of the rush hour.
There is another thing about this
railway that makes it Unusual. No
one ever pays any fare on it.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
unrenarous Question.

The first slice Of goose had been cut
and the minister of the Zion church
looked at it with as Keen anticipation
as was displayed In the faces around
him.
Oats as fine q goose as I ever saw,
Brudder Williams" he said to his host
Where did you get such fine one?"
well, now, Mistah Rawley," said the
carver OF the goose, with a sudden ac-
cess OF dignity, when you preach a
special good sermon, neber axes you
where you got it. Seems to me dat's Q
trivial matter. anyway, youths Comb
pRnion.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25

Hanna, Of Ohio; Quay, Of Pennsyl-
gania; Hawley and Plat, of Connecti-
cult; Bate, of Tennessee, and Mitchell,
OIL Oregon. Senator Fairbanks went
from the floor Of the chamber to be
presiding officer Of the senate as vice
president Of the United States. Sena-
tors Bard, of California; Ball, of Della
ware; McComas, of Maryland; Cock
rell, Of Missouri; Stewart, of Nevada;
Gibson, Of Montana; Dietrich, of Ne
braska, and Quarles, of Wisconsin, who
we're here two years ago, were not re-
elected.
A number Of very prominent men
have been elected in the place of those
who died or failed of reelection. Mr..
Carter, former senator of Montana,
comes again from that state. He is
one of the best debaters in the senate
and will do much to uphold the repu-
tation Of the northwest. Rayner, who
succeeds McComas from Maryland, was
| formerly a member of the house and is
known as one of the most eloquent men
in public life. He has already made
his maiden speech in the senate and
charmed every one who heard him with
his beautiful diction and his eloquent
tongue. Mr.. Crane, who succeeds Mr..
Hoar of Massachusetts, is very quiet
gentleman, but a man Of great force.
He is bound to take high rank in the
national councils of the Republican
party and he is said to be gifted with
q nnlitipal acuman NOT inferior tn that
Of the late Mark Hanna.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
In the Railway staxion.

"Here!" shouted the depot official
what do you mean by throwing those
trunks around like that?"
The baggageman gasped In aston
ishment, and several travellers pinched
themselves to make sure that It WIS
real. Then the official spoke again
to the baggageman:
Don't you see that you're making
big dents in this concrete platform?"-
Smart Set.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25

has been extremely distasteful to many
congressman whose ideas of statesman
ship seldom go beyond the matter OF
patronage. Men who, like Senator
Scott, Of West Virginia, play politics
all the time and whose first question
regarding a public measure is what
will its effect be upon the party, do not
like Roosevelt.
The presidents enemies are making
a great deal of noise just now and his
friends are keeping comparatively
quiet, knowing that the noise will do
no harm and all the criticism of the
president will be fully answered by the
latter's actions. When the time comes
the presidents champions in both
house and senate will see to it that he
gets all the defense that is needed. The
president, however, has way of meet
ing criticism himself that leaves very
little for his friends to supply.
But this policy of meeting criticism
Of the president has followed very eff
fectively in the case of the Panama
canal. He has sent to congress every
scrap of information and every line Of
record of the transactions Of the PAN
ANA commission and has told congress
that the reports he has transmitted
meet every criticism and attack that
has been made upon the commission
and upon the work done by the gov
eminent in Panama He has followed
his policy Of publicity and has taken
the whole American people into his
confidence in his discussion and ex-
PLANTATION Of what has been done to-
ward the construction of the Panama
canal. The verdict of the people on
this report is what will affect the
United States senate.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
An Old Ticket.

Frank p Hinman, of Mount Morris,
N. Y, has had his first ride on this Erie
railroad, to Rochester and back, and
he used ticket that was issued in
1854 to his grandfather and had never
been Cancelled. When the purchaser OF
the ticket died in 1891 he beQueathed ii
to his favorite grandson. The latter
has since been waiting to get a holi
day, which me recently snjoyed.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
Wear ON Railroad Car Seats.

81 guess make fewer sales than
most of those in the business" said G.
e. Sawyer. Mr.. Sawyer travels for o
house that has for it's speciality the
selling of plush for seats for railroad
coaches.
This may surprise you" said Mar
Sawyer, "but do you know that this
seats of an ordinary railroad coach
must be recovered three times a year!
One wouldn't think that the wear
would be so great, but such is the case
We contract to keep the seats Of
coaches in good repair the year
through and we are alone in the field.
Kansas City Star.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
Tnken and Left.

A gentleman whose temper Is easily
disturbed was travelling in England re-
Gently and was much annoyed at the
reply given him at a railroad station
The gentleman, noticing his baggage,
properly addressed, was left on the
platform, called out:
why didn't you put my baggage in
as | told you, you old fool?"
"Eh, man, yer luggage is ma sic q
tule az yersel'.n answered the porter;
I'VE re 4 che wranR train"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
"Junior" and"senior."

Y INGENIOUS COM
piler of incidents
and statistics has
presented some GU
rious and interest
ing facts about the
United States sen"
ate, among which
the following are
enumerated: There
are two senators
over 80 years Of
age, Pettus and
Morgan; there are
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
WASHINGTON LETTER
PRESIDENT TAKES AMERICAN
PEOPLE INTO CONFIDENCE.
PANAMA CANAL PUBLICITY
The Fairy Tales About Lobbying
Mine Owners Against Arizona
Statehood - Junior Senator
from Nebraska.
- A - AsHINGToN. - II

every rumor were
to be believed that
one hears about
the capitol, Presi-
dent r COS V e 1t
would be left with
out a corporal's
guard Of states
m en- supporting
him before the end
of this congress.
His independent,
patriotic course
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25

HERE have been
many ravages in
the senate and sew
eral historic
changes have been
made during the
past few years. In
that brief time the
following distin-
guished members
Of the uppe r
house have passed
away: Hoar, Of
M a 8 s a C h usetts;
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
Senator Burkett.

Elm "A IOH hl4MEh
J. Burkett, of Ne
braska, is the
kid" of the sem
ate. He is the only
member of that
honorable body
who was born aft
er the civil war.
Both Bsveridge
and Bailey were
born during the
civil war, the for
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25

I ALL lSpOl 10 dAO
true this will be a
great congress for
the lobbyist. The
popular idea Of
that individual,
the member of
the third house"
as he is fond Of
calling himself, is
not an accurate
one. Stories have
been written about
smooth-tongue In
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25

mer IN 1862 and the latter In 1868 but
air. Burkett did not see the light OF
day until 1867 He is young enough
TO be the grandson Of Senator Pettus,
nR Alabama, who Is Just 40 years older
than the new senator from Nebraska
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
Fduoated Porters.

German railway porters are TO study
French and English during the present
winter; scholarships are to be com.
peted for, and the successful student ID
to be sent on a holiday tour " Eos
land.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25

4. Q asha
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-01-25
The lobbyist.

f ALL reports are
Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1841-1918, 1906-12-05
Sapancr perlaiien Wscrifo.

San Nntonio o, Ser, A. 3e5.-
@t.ua oreibunoert Sapaner fanen leit
Dem [. 9fupenlber aus Merifo ourdl
sen Gaglc YaB nad) Sen Ser. Staa-
ten, inOem ite erfldrten, lie icien pom
m%eritaniidcn 9camtcn ihlcdlt bcbon'
Oelt norocn, nddOem man lie nad)
Dem 2anoc ltltcr Der &oripicgc.urg
gelcdt, JIG f0nnteu oili Oortigen 6or-
mcn aegen 0lltcn Sobn ongelIebme
geidy1itiQung bnbcn. Gtc TerIpres
d)ungen maren 10 uerloden0, Dab DIE
iapnniiden ginpan0eruugS 8elel,
id)aftcn bebiilflih warcL SNpaner Iilr
MISUNDERSTANDING Nrbeit in Ncrtfo
81 beiGniien. 9lES Oicic idlieBlid IN
Nfcrito eintrNielL mnrOen 0ie Sopa.
rcr. mie lie %bebaupteh in &oblen'
5edjen bei geringem 9ubn nn0 ldled)-
ter 9efGiti9uug angeItelt uno pom
@adtpciten beauiiihtiat, 10 Dab tire
2aoe Don Der ser Sfloperei nidt 81
unteri6eioen mar.
Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1841-1918, 1906-12-05
Wcridltct

it a, Ga, 4. 0e5. - ). Is.
Standings. ein @ciber lrnO ebemali9er
@eiitli6cr, iopie Der Ne9er alt
Woure muroen belltc odller lpegel
ser I'M SuIi 1905 periibten Grnor.
olun0 ser @eidppiiter @iaie mo Gar.
rie Garter ourd ocn Strana hinge
rid)tet. @eiOc beltiegcn oaS ShaItot
icIten Sd]ritteS unO ginget gefnBt III
oen Soo. Standings betbeltertc nod
alyf ocm Shoifot, oaB er IN 'eirenl
Gro5eiie oie @abrbcit geiagt uno onB
ieinc S0buc feincn Nntbeil an Dem
Nerbrcd)cn 0cbabt b0tten. Moore be-
baiiptete, audi or babe mr. DIE Wnbr-
belt aeiogt, mo 'er beitebc oaraltt, DAB
Wilton &oplings, elmer Der Sobne,
sic t6otlid)en Shiilie nbfeuerte. 6roil
Standings unO ibrc 5uei Sod)ter be-
iltd)tcn Den Watten mo %oter beltte
iriib llto blicbcn mGbrcuo Der Sln'
rid)tung i'm @eflngnib.