Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-03-25
Her Infa11ib1e Method
By R. K. Munkittrick

~ DfnaJ1On OF ner W1lOWy, SIdCeluI inquire anu
her intensely picturesque hat, whose c1rcum-
ference was that of the average Japanese
parasol, might to an unusually lively fancy
have suggested the reincarnation OF fairy
mushroom. Between the fingers of each hand
she leld a twenty-dollar bill folded engthwise
six bills in all-and she held them with a
grip of steel, as she sat before the finest array
of feminine headgear that was ever seen in a
department store.
Occasionally she swayed to and fro with
marked emotion and as she bent unconsciously
toward the hats and sighed in an ecstasy
| fraught with a whirlwind of seething passion,
she clutched the bills more tightly and occa-
| sional1y looked at them wistfully, and from
them to the hats, and from the hats back to
| them, while her lips trembled and her entire
| being seemed surcharged with the soul
haunting witchery of a parterre of carnations
besieged by amorous bees.
There" she murmured tenderly, lis one
that would lust match nv hair and it's only
eighteen forty-nine. And It would be lust the
thing that would look fine with my matinee
boa. The rose beside the iridescent bird is
just the right shade of red, and think i must
buy it
Then she looked at the bills between her
fingers, and clutching them more tightly than
ever, continued: Although | am dying for
that hat, | shall certainly not buy it. Yes,
| know it matches my hair and suits my
of dreams, but / shall not buy it, although
the very sight of it fills my soul with the
most exquisite of blossom odors.'
Then she looked at another hat marked
twenty-four ninety-nine, and her face fairly
glowed and glmmered with smile like that
of seraph on a cathedral dome She appeared
fairly to thrill with the weird monotone of the
sea-mew in the star CLEAN of a summers night
In temporary weakness she seemed for a
moment to hesitate and falter, as if some in
visible tempter at her elbow whispered
Buy ~ She gritted her teeth, as she shifted
her gaze from the hat to the money and from
the money to the hat, and then taking a
tlrm fresh grip on the twenty-dollar bills
she murmured in the thrilling throes of bitter
sweet ecstasy:
Never, never, neverl Be calm, perturbed
spirit be calm! 1t is cheap at the price, and
archltecturally it is a creation of perennial
beauty. Now, as a sudden flood of sunlight
falls upon it and nestles and dances in its
dimpling folds and curves, feel that l am
IN another sphere, listening to lutes and
mandollnS on which the music of dry, crisp
golden leaves is discoursed by unseen fairy
fingers
"Here is a beauty" said clerk, who up
to that time had been chewing tutti-frutti
lead-penc in silence, " and it is only forty-nine
n1nety-nlne, marked down from sixty It's
a rare bargain"
When she uttered the magic word bargain"
the ta1r shopper was fairly transfixed with
rapture; and fearing she might say, Yes, y
before she could control her pent-up feelings.
| she answered. " Nop' and clutched the bills
between her fingers more tightly, if possible,
than before. No, no, mol" she reiterated
! No no, mol"
/ As she swayed to and fro as if gathering her
entire strength into a supreme effort to fight
| off an approaching CONFUSION, the clerk, who
| had almost thrown her off her mental balance
and shaken her CaSt-ron resolution, which
would have caused her to relax her death-like
grip the six twenty-dolar bills which she
! held between her vise-liie fingers saw those
twenty-dollar bills for the first time. Not
knowing what to make of so strange a sight,
she said to the fair shopper, as the latter
/ frightened her hold upon the bills:
Are you i'll
"Oh, no, she replied pleasantly Il am
only practising. l am Aphrodite Fenellosa the
woman fish, and | am only practising for
my great tank act. You see, perform vari-
Gus feats under water in a glass tank on the
vaudeville stage"
But what has this business of looking so
longingly at the hats which YOU don't want
to buy even while you have the money in your
hands, And what is the meaning of your
clutching the money SO hard1" asked the clerk
/ emboldened by the fact that Aphrodite
Fenellosa had already told her SO much of
her own accord
at is simply this" replied the woman
fish: when | can look upon those beautiful
hats and still hold onto the money in the
morning, know that can always perform