The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-10-21
REED AND LOOSE
ARE MIGHTY BLUE
Its Worse Than a Funeral
Around Church RepubIi-
can Headquarters.
LIKEWISE DEMOCRATIC,
SAYS THE WISE GUY
Apostle Unburdens Himself in
Talking About the Situa-
ton in Zion.

and Democratic headquarters, said
the Wise Guy, as he beckoned the his
torian into Il doorway, "Wouldn t ii
kill you?' the Wise Guy went on.
"Why, it . worse than IN Indian fu-
neral, or the day after. Honest, / m
spittin' so much cotton that ] got an
idea of goin into the wool business.
81 told you the other day about see
in Reed and Ed Loose an tryin' To
get them to inject u little ginger an
booze into the campaign, but it ain t
no use. The fact is, Reed and Ed is
a-gettin mighty blue an / can t blame
icm much.
''These burned church Democrats is
the cause of the indigo feelin' that s
taken possession of Reed and Ed. If
l was Reed, I'd have the whole crowd
up before the bishop inside o twenty
four hours. Them s the fcllers that is
a-givin Reed run for his money an
1t ain t q fair run neither.
Says Reed to Wisey.
g Reed says TO me tho other day:
'Wisey, you don t have no idea what
it is to be great an good man, like
me-a man, | might add, who cuts a
whole lot Of cheese in the Senate of the
United States. an who also has to keep
the lid on up at headquarters on Brig
ham street. Honest. Wisey, l almost
wishes some times that ] was Just an
ordinary man like Billy King, Orlando
w. Powers, jim Moyle, Ashby Snow,
Ly Martineau and the rest of that
crowd, But ] aim u, Wisey. | am a
statesman, an when Il man gets 10 be
a statesman, he s got lot of rcspon~
slblllty that he got to stand for,
whether he wants to, or not, L was
achieved greatness, am had greatness
thrust unon me. What's the answer
Well, you know.
Feels Like Swearing.
@ But, l II tell you, Wisey. these
dodgasted church Democrats is a-trvin
my soul to the utmost. an if | WASH t
a Christian am didn' t think it was
wrong to swear, d say what / think
of them blanlcty, blank ingrates. I'd
say IT So strong that there wouldn't
be no doubt as TO what ] meant, either.
Just stop an think what that crowd is
s,doin' to me. Did you read that speech
o. Bill Kings, III the Third ward Fri
day night? You did? Well, I'm sorry.
you TO the gizzard, Just as ii did me
and me am Bill King was boys to-
gether; Then think o the way Moyle
handed it TO me in Martineau G. Clarle,s
office while back, an what Jack How
els and Ly Martineau, an loL OF
the boys arc asayin about me behind
my back, They got my left ear burn
in all the time.
Just think of the ongratefulness
Of that bunch. Here I let's 'em vote
pretty much as they please for two or
three years, an they goes out an be-
gins to get gay an to say that they III
vote as they durn please me to the con
trary, Notwithstanding. I tell Won.
Wlsey, 1t grieves me TO the utmost TO
see this unchristianlike spirit a-prowin'
up among our people. What's a-comin'
over this State, when an apostle. TO
say nothin Of United States Senator.
can't tell this here bunch of dubs how
TO Votef Where did they get any chips
in this game-I gets that expression
from Ed Loose-anyway9 What bust
ness have they got to be a thjnkin,
when IN here to do their thinkin,
for EN-? You know they ain t pot
none at all, Wisey, but they pretends
TO be a"doln it just the same
Can Handle a Lot.
OF course, Wiscy, there s a Iot q
the bunch that such fellers as me an
Joe an Musser an Spry an Fussv
Jimmy an Callister can handle. with.
out over,exertin' ourselves. We can
cnahge their politics over night, on an
empty stomach, an they don t know
the difference. They goes to bed shout
in for, Powers an Maloney an gets
up in the mornin with bad taste in
their mouths a-yellin for me an How
ell an Frick. But, the trouble ;s
Wisey, that Bill King am Jim Movie |
an Ly Martlneau has said so burned
much about me an the machine that
a lot o these church Democrats is a.
some o. them is actually a-talkin' it
around that they is free to vote as |
they pleases an revilIn' the prophet.
which is me. / sees a good church
Democrat on the street TODAY an after
shakin his hand an asking about his |
wives an children, I suggests, Just as
] have right to do, that he ought to
be whoopin it up for me an Howell |
and the bunch we puts up here in Salt
Lake county, an what do you reckon
he says to me1 I can't tell vou,
Wisey, because ! don't want to use
such language where some unpodlv
Gentiles might overhear me-
An that s the way the cat is a
hoppln, or threatenin to hop" the
Wise Guy went on..'I knows The play
from soda to hook. but the trouble Is
that the cards has been stacked an
Reed is a-gettin TOO many splits. to
say nothing of whipsaws. I tells him
when he first suggests that he ID get
Musser TO write that letter to The !
Smoot organ that he was a.gettin' on a
dead card, but he was Just bulI-headed
enough to go on without demandin' a
new deal an now he sees where IL has
landed him. The idea O old Musser
a-playin hisself up as a Democrat is
enough to make Joe Rawlins laugh.
It's Just This Way.
"You see, it s Just this way: There 8
a lot o these here church Democrats
that's had Il little pride pounded into
'em, Then, again. there is a big bunch
o. them that actually believes in
Democratic doctrines. In the third
place. there s lot o them that thinks
more of their church than they thinks
90 Rocd Smoot an they are beginnin'
to realize that IL Reed keeps up mis-
present lick, he ii bust up the whole !
works That s the size of the business.
OF course, when Reed starts out some
weeks ago, he tells me that it VIII be
duck soup to throw enough of church