The Washington herald., 1906-12-30

Breathes there a woman. soul so dead,
Who never 90 herself has SAID;
This Christmas I intend
TO give teg presents slaH ooy
The simplest things I'M bound that
Shall very little snendt
Breaches there a woman. fe= OF near.
Who does not In the glad new year,
Ope bills With trembling touch,
And CRY. despairing: Goodness me-
For life of me I cannot see
Just how / spent SO muchi
= did think 1 was going to escape my
annual sinking spell this year" says the
bachelor girl Sometimes it strikes me
on Christmas Eve and sometimes it
doesn't set in till Christmas Day, but it
comes regularly every Christmas. Just
when I've sent of the last Of my pres
ents. and am prepared TO face Christmas
with a clear conscience and an empty
purse, somebody I haven't once thought
of hobs up and sends me something. It's
the most CHASTITY sensation 10 realize that
I've left out somebody ] ought 70 have
remembered, and this year I made up my
mind 10 fix things so It couldn't possibly
happen. I provided an extra present for
the annual emergency. I bought IL at
auction, and Il was a lovely little medal
hon-ware plate--the sort Of thing we used
10 call a plaque i'm the days when we
painted tambourines and gilded horse
shoes. I had 1t all ready, and you've no
idea how comfortable / felt. Nobody
could catch me unprepared when ] had
that all wrapped up ready to send On
Christmas Eve there came a lovely book
from girl didn't expect to send me
s-
10 be in Washington for the week
seized the p!ate-and then I paused If I
sent it to her she'd know l hadn't bought
il for her, because she knows / know she
lives in a trunk and can't possibly carry
china about the country with her. 1t
would be worse than no present at all I
had 10 borrow money from my brother
and dash out to a florists TO send her
some flowers. When. I got home there
was another unexpected present. It came
from a little ten-year-old girl that I'd
forgotten all about. I couldn't send a
china plate 10 a child. could I? No.
had TO fight my way into a shop and buy
her a doll 1 went to bed though, with a
calm mind. If anybody surprised me,
had my attractive plate all ready.
Christmas Day / got on nicely till about
noon Then in came a colored girl who
sews for me. She had made me a little
collar. Gould I give her "a greenland gold
plate in return? OF course ] couldn't
had to give her a silk scarf somebody
had just given me And after that a dear
friend-I can't think how on earth I ever
happened to leave her off my list-sent me
by messenger an opera glass bag. The
plate? My goodness, ] couldn't send
Chinese ware 10 a woman whose brother
was killed in China, could I? I hadn't
one earthly thing TO send her. and I just
had to let her so unremembered. drop
ped the plate before the day was over and
smashed IT, and I was glad Of it. The
thing was a hoOdOo. Next year I'm going
TO take my sinking feeling without pro
test There's no way to stave it off, and
its quite useless TO try"
I'm going into retreat and I don't
know when I'll dare come out" says my
friend Matilda. 4 don't dare face Janet
and I'm sure to meet her if 1 go on the
block For several years I've had an IN
derhand way of saving up Christmas
presents that people sent MEETINGS I
couldn't possibly use-and giving them to
somebody else the next year. It always
worked beautifully till this year. Pink
is a color couldn't wear without losing
all my friends, and had beautiful pink
fan that had been sent me last year. I
had never used IL. so I sent il 10 Janet
I knew she d be charmed with it because
pink is her color. After I had mailed it
/ just happened to look at the box il came
IN haf
/ was. / was out on the end of the limb
with the saw busy between me and the
tree. Janets name was on the bottom
of that box"
Two or three stage folk were gathered
together the other evening, and when
thing like that happens you can be sure
that the anvil chorus always starts in
to practice on managers, FOR there exists
between actors and managers the same
cordial regard that an author has for
publisher, or a second-story man for the
policeman on the beat One Of those
actors told me as true-he gave me his
word-a story on a man who, though now
successful, was in other days the man
ager of several gigantic failures in the
way Of companies. Once upon a time on
the Iowa circuit, when shedding had been
uncommonly hard for weeks, a member
of his company approached him and asked
him for some real money.
Money" said the manager. astounded
What do you want Of money? Don't /
pay your bOard2'
Yes said the actor, but I've got to
have some money. I haven't but one
collar left, and I'm saving that for to-
nights performance. I've got to have
money. 1 haven't had any for two weeks.
and I'm simply obliged 10 have some"
How much do you want?" asked the
manager.
Twenty dollars. was the reply.
Twenty doIlars!' shrieked the man |
ager. You want twenty dollars! Why. |
sood heavens. man. if had so I'd put /
out a No. company"
Speaking about Christmas presents. re !
minds me that this year / have seen
practced for the first time-the first to
me, at least-a very comfortable custom
which. / am told, is English, Ike SO
many other comfortable things. Several |
acquaintance of mine have received
from their friends what are called
bonds" though in my wholly American
ignorance I'd cali them credit slips. This
bond let's YOU know in the very incest
way that you may go and choose for /
yourself half dozen pairs of gloves
that Mrs. A. has already paid for, and /
that bond Informs you that Mrs b. has 1
left money enough at the ueckwear shop /
10 pay for the stock you like best All /
the bonds" I have seen so far call for |
credit at the shops which are exclusive /