Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1906-08-10
THE TEAR
GOriginal.l

"iOuhu anu See LiIeu. KNOW you
can't do anything for her. but YOU
cheer us all up
The doctor was pouring something
from a vial into liquid contained in
test tube. His expression was not
cheerful; it was serious.
john he said you sowed the wind
and are reaping the whirlwind. Your
marriage was very unwise one both
for you and for Ellen. Without it she
would have remained with her mother,
who now lives a thousand miles away
from her. AS for you, the drag of
sick wife upon you has been your ruin"
In one sense, doctor, your words are
true; in another | question if they are.
The great Creator has placed us in a
world in which our better nature is al
ways struggling with our selfishness.
If we lived here always there would
be but one criterion for our judgment
success. But we know not what cri-
terion will take its place in the exist
ence to come. The poet tells of a peri
who gained admission to paradise BIZ
offering tear of a repentant sinner.
Well, if 1 am ever admitted to heaven
l shall have gained my place there by
a tear, though not of repentance"
The doctor held test tube before a
light and observed particles floating in
a liquid 1t contained The speaker
went on:
Before Ellen became an invalid we
drifted together as other lovers drift
together. At that age 1 held a girl as
something holy, something far above
what l regarded mans coarse nature.
remember one evening when we were
walking together she slipped her hand
within my arm, and it seemed as if l
had been touched by an angel from
heaven. That touch alone was enough
to decide my fate.
"You remember how 1 took all the
prizes in college, and you and father
and the rest had great hopes for me.
The career you predicted fired me with
a desire for success. Then l cut a;
brilliant figure at the law school, and
six months after graduation won the
Springer claim in court. 1t put me at
once at the head of the Junior barr
Il we'll remember" said the doctor.
ut was just at this time that Ellen
met with the accident and you told me
that she would be an invalid for life.
l knew then all you said about her be-
ing a drag on me as well as when you
mention it today. 1 had long strug-
gle between the career ahead of me,
which would need ceaseless devotion,
and the care of an invalid wife, and !
made clear case in favor of the for
mer. Ellen needed a mother, not a
husband, 1t was not case of wheth-
er l loved the career ahead of me or
her the more; 1t was a case of mex
orable common sense. l confess I
shrank from breaking my decision to
her, but, knowing it was the turning
point of my life, nerved myself by
supreme effort.
Il well remember the night 1 called
on her for the purpose. 1t was among
the first warm days of the season, and
she was lying on wicker lounge on
the porch. A wistaria vine hung down
from above and was in bloom. From
within the house came the fragrance
of roses. Ellen looked up at me loving
ly from her great fiaring invalid eyes.
maintained an inward stoicism. Aft
er a few irrelevant words 1 told her
that l had come to announce something
of deep import to us both. Beginning
with our duty to each other and to our
selves, 1 led gradually to the final an
nouncement. 1t would never have been
possible for me to make so able an ar
gtment in court. No woman could fail
to see that under her mothers care
alone could she hope for comfort. AS
to the effect of our marriage ON me, /
drew a graphic picture of lost career,
but told her that were it best for her l
would give it up in order to devote my
self to her."
The speaker ceased and there was
brief silence.
''She released you?" asked the doc
tor.
'She neither released nor held me.
she listened without a word. l could
see at times her bosom heaving, then
repressed by an internal struggle not
apparent on the surface. l finished
with the words, L shall never become
reconciled to that memorable fate which
has forced us apart Then 1 waited
for her reply"
The speaker paused. He was think
ing.
1T WASP"
"a tear"
There was a silence while the doctor
was fumbling with his test tubes.
"And your reply to it," he asked pres
emily.
IAN embrace"
The doctor turned and faced his Wis
itor
"And you don't regret your-inde-
cision?'
NO"
There was longer pause, during
which the doctor looked out of the win
dow. Then he turned and said:
John, 1 am, as you know, at the
head of my profession in this city. But
1 am forced to admit that you stand in
far more eminent position
That afternoon the doctor drove up
to the home of the invalid with fruits
and flowers and spent an hour enliven-
ing the household.
Never again did he question the ac-
ton of his friend. And who shall say
that the happiness of a man who was
denied the worlds laurels that he
might devote himself to an invalid
wife was less than it would have been
ho6 no baan fraa to win uhot tho