Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1906-02-03
Q OOD
Short Storiss
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A fine specimen or the Taurus hi
bernicus made its appearance in the
Bow Street Police Court recently.
You dueked your head" said the
magistrate to Patrick Lane, who
charged Joseph Kavanagh with shoot
ing at him In the Strand. Faith, and
l did, your worship. It's better to he
a coward for FIVE minutes than to be
dead all your lifetime"
When the last Cleveland baby was
born, Mr. Cleveland was asked about
the weight, which he gave as twelve
pounds. Dr. Bryant, who was present,
Interrupted the ex-Presldent TO say
that the nurse had reported the young
hopeful to be an eight-pounder. "Well,"
said Mr.. Cleveland, Il know, for |
weighed him with the same scales that
| use when | go fishing"
A so-called happy family" p. T.
Barnum used 10 exhibit consisted Of
lion, a tiger, a bear, a wolf, and a
lamb. all penned together In one cage.
REMARKABLE" a visitor said to Mr..
Barnum; remarkable. impressive, in
structivel And how long have these
animals dwelt together in this way?"
Seven MONTHS Barnum answered,
but the lamb has occasionally to be
renewed"
A man went into a drug store and
bought bottle Of some patent stun,
NH rIa
Coughs. No More Colds. 25 Cents a
Bottle" Three days later he went to
the druggist complaining that his
throat was stopped up, and that he
could scarcely breathe 1--WE drunk
all that patent cough mixture" he said.
Drunk ltv yelled the man; why,
that's an India rubber solution to put
on the soles of your bootsr'
"who ever saw perfect MANI"
asked the revivalist. "There Is no such
thing. Every man has his faults, plen-
ty of them" The revivalist continued:
who ever saw perfect womanY At
this juncture a tall, thin woman arose.
do you mean to say. madam" the
CIV aus ttAol aohtuf mat 1Ou ave ottl
perfect woman "Well, l can't just
say that have seen her." the woman
replied, but l have heard a powerful
lot about her; she was my husbands
first wife"
one day while In Vienna, Paganinl
hired a cab to take him from the con-
cert hall to his lodgings. When he
awoke the next morning he found the
cabman waiting for an interview.
"What is it7' said Paganlni Excel
lency. l come to solicit n favor of you.
l am father of four children, and have
the honor to be your fellow-country-
man. If you please, you can make my
fortune" "What do you mean?" "Au-
thorlze me to write in large letters at
the back OF my vehicle these two
words 'Paganlni's Cab" The musi-
clan consented, and six months after
ward the cabman was enjoying a com
Portable income.
A traveller in a sparsely settled dis
trlct in Missouri came at midnight to
miserable little cottage He knock
ed on the door to inquire for a place TO
put up for the night. rs that you,
Tad?' came a gruff voice from within.
NO" said the traveller, open the door
minute, | want to ask you some
thing" The bolt was drawn, and a
man looked out sleeplly into the dark
ness. IL thought you was my boy,
Tad" he explained, "and, snip my
earsl here he is nowr' A barefoot
youth came painting out of the shadow,
with his arms full of shoes Of various
sizes and colors. Get any2" asked the
man. "Yissar Seven of 'em tonight,
and two Of 'em is a pair" "Good!'
the man said. You see" he added,
turning to the traveller, Tad can make
a noise that sounds more natural like
a tomcat than any cat In this country.
He just goes into the village and yells
under the windows about this time In
the fall" And you get shoes enough
for winter" the traveller finished.
stranger" said the man. solemnly,
Il can see you amt no fool"