Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1906-10-11
The
Phoncsraph ez2
the Graft
BY o. HENRY
COPYRIGHT bu s. S. Mcclure Co.

Ca.gSG limited, for the engineer was
kirksy, and there was golden half
hour between the time he shut down
steam and washed up that coveted.
found Kirksy resting, with his pipe
lit. smut faced and blue overalled.
"'Tis fair afternoon" l said, "but
bids to be colder"
Ibid ever tell you," began Klrksy
honorably, "about tho time Henry
Horsecolar and me took a monograph
to South AmericaT' And felt asham-
ed of my subterfuge and dropped into
the wooden chair lie kicked toward me.
Henry was quarter breed. quar-
terback Cherokee, educated east in the
idioms Of football and west in contra
band whisky, and gentleman, same
as you or me. He was easy and romp-
ing in his ways; man about SIX FOOT.
with a kind of rubber tire movement.
Henry and me met Mt TeXarkana
and figured out this monograph
scheme. He had $500 which came to
him out of land allotment In the
reservation. had run down from Lit
tie Rock on account of distressful
scene had witnessed on the street
there. A man stood OH box and pass
ed around some gold watches, screw
case, stem winders, Elgln movement.
very elegant Twenty bucks they cost
you over the counter. At SD the crowd
fought for the tickers. The man hap
pened to find valise full Of them
handy, and he passed them out like
putting hot biscuits on plate. The
backs were hard to unscrew, but the
crowd put its ear to the case. and they
licked modifying and agreeable. Three
Of those watches were genuine tickers.
but the rest, they were only kickers
"Hey? Why. empty cases. with one
of them horny black bugs chat fly
around electric lights in EN-. Them
bugs kick OF minutes and seconds In
dustrlous and beautiful. The man l
was speaking Of cleaned w $2SS and
went away. because he knew that when
1t came to wind watches in Little Rock
an entomologist would he needed, and
, he wasn't one.
$50, as l say, Henry had $500 and l
had $oSS The phonograph idea was
Henry's, but took to it freely, being
fond Of machinery of all kinds.
1--WE bought a fine phonosraph in
Texarkana-one Of the best make
and half trunkful of records, We
packed up and took the T. and r. for
New Orleans From that celebrated
center Of molasses aud DISTINGUISHED
coon songs we took steamer for-yes.
think 1t was South America or Mexico
II am full Of inability to divulge the To-
cation Of tits on the rural delivery
map, tits colored yellow on the map
and branded with the literature Of
cigar boxes.
1--WE landed on smiling coast at q
town they denounced by the name. as
near as / can recollect, of Sore-toe-
kangaroo. Twas palatable enough
place to look at. The houses were
clean and white, sticking about among
the scenery like hard boiled eggs serv-
ed with lettuce. There was block of
skyscraper mountains in the suburbs,
and they kept pretty quiet, like they
/ were laying one finger on their lips
and watching the town. And the sea
was remarking 'Sh-sh-sh! on the beach,
and now and then ripe cocoanut
would fail kerfip In the sand, and that
was all there was doing.
1.-THE captain went ashore with us
and offered to conduct what he seemed
to like to call the obsequies. He intro
duced Henry and me to the United
States consul and roam man, the head
of the department Of mercenary and
licentious disposition, the way 1t read
upon his sign.
"T touch here again week from
today says the captain.
= ".By that time we told him, we'll
be amassing wealth in the interior
towns with our galvanized prima
donna and correct limitations of Sousa's
band excavating march from a tin
mine
"sYen not says the captain. Yen
be hypnotized. Any gentleman In the
audience who kindly steps upon the
stage and looks this country in the eye
will be converted to the hypothesis
that he's but fly in the Elgin cream
cry. Yell be standing knee deep in
the surf waiting for me, and your ma
chine for making hamburger steak out
of the hitherto respected art of music
will be playing There's no place like
home."'
"Henry skinned twenty off his roll
and received from the bureau OF mer-
cenary dispositions paper bearing q
red seal and a dialect story, and no
change.
"Then we got the consul full of red
wine and struck him for a horoscope.
He was thin, youngish kind of man.
should say past fifty, sort of French
Irish in his affections and pulled up
with disconsolation. Yes, he was a
fattened kind Of man In whom drink
lay stagnant. inclined to corpulence
and misery. Yes, think he was a
kind of Dutchman, being very sad and
genial in his ways.
"'The marvellous invention he says,
entitled the photograph has never be-
fore invaded these shores. The people
have never heard it. They would not
believe it If they should. Simple
hearted children Of nature. progress
has never condemned them to accept
the work of can opener as an over
ture, and ragtime might incite them to
n bloody rayolutfon But YOU can try