davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22

the meat sent on TO Washington, whsre
he distributed II among q number Of
his friends.
Mr. Jones was the FIRST to evolve the
idea Of crossing the buffalo and the
OF binary COW, and he is enthusiastic
In his statements Of the results
of his experiments. The Government,
through the department of agricul-
ture, has been assisting him. The ca
talo, as he calls the hybrid, has all the
desirable qualities Of both classes Of
its ancestors and those who have par
taken Of the meat say it has even a
finer grain and more delicate flavor
than the beef steer Of old.
During his visit to Washington Mr.
Jones gave a lecture on the catalo, and
told a large audience all about his
pets. He had photographs and NOV
ing pictures with which to illustrate
his talk While he had frequently dis
cussed the wonders of the catalo with
hiE friends in Washington, this time
he was determined to prove that the
animal was no myth. So he produced
the carcass Of the real animal and dis.
tr!buted choice cuts Of meat to some
senators and representatives, not for.
getting a generous roast to Secretary
Of Agriculture Wilson, who is very
much interested in this experiment
of Mr.. Jones, which 1t is hoped will
give the country an entirely new meat
animal.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22

Girls is built different in their bones,
so'st they can't throw good"
The treasurer was good to look upon,
with her round red cheeks, big brown
eyes and tousled hair. Not boy in the
club could beat her running, and as for
climbing trees, she was like squirrel.
She could climb higher than any of
them, because, as the vice president
explained: She's light, and she dast
60 out on little limbs at would bust with
US boys"
But as l said, there was target prac-
tice on. The guns used were Bricky
Smiths best improved unpatented Co
Hath pea-shooters, and the target was
an old leather carriage cushion, on one
end of which the secretary had painted
= fresh spot of white paint. The car
riage cushion was neatly tied TO the post
of the clothes-horse, and was all that
could be desired as a target.
Because, you see, if you hit it," ex-
planned the president, "the pea will
make a spot on the paint, and Wen
know who gets nearest the middle"
1t was bound to be an exciting affair,
for the stakes were high-the presidents
second best jackknife, the vice presi-
dents jewsharp and the secretary's red
crayon pencil were in the hands of the
treasurer, all to be turned over to the
winner
The shooting began promptly at $3.50
of bright Saturday afternoon. Three
shots apiece were the limit for the
trial
First the worst!" said the president;
so the secretary had to begin. He fired
his first shot wild; nobody ever knew
where 1t landed.
Bling! The second hit the edge of the
bull's.eye.
Bang! The third thumped on the car
riage cushion somewhere, but left no
mark on the white paint.
| Tie secretary saw his red crayon pen
Gil passing from his possession, and he
sighed as he stepped back out of the
eye of the public. ,a-
Second the same!" called the presi,
dent, and the vice president took his
place in the arena. His right hand
trembled slightly, but his eye was firm
for he longed to possess the presidents
second best jackknife.
BIN! The carriage cushion respond
cd, but left no sign. ~.
Boom! tiny spot appeared in the
bull's-eye just far enough in to make
the secretary emit a groan Of despair.
BAN! Still nearer the center, and the
. vice president retired with the fire o.
hope burning in his right eye-he had
shut the other so tight when he sighted
the mark that 1t hadn't popped opeI
again as yet.
Last the best of all the camel" i
was now the presidents turn. He tool
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
BACKYARD sHooTlNoMATcH
An Exciting Affair, and It Didn't
End Just as Was Expected All
on Account of a Girl.

There was target practice on at the
Backyard Shooting club. 1t was to be
a match between the president, the vice
president and the secretary. The treas
urer did not shoot, and they let her
hold the stakes because she was always
fair; the treasurer was only a girl, any
way; she liked all the members and
showed no Partially. She was also UNI
pire for the same reason.
'She's just as good as boy" said the
president, "onIy she can't pitch. But
I amt blamin' her for that neither.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
In Boston.

Mrs. Ibsententious-Has the baby
progressed in the art Of articulation2
Mrs. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES appre
ciably. Yesterday he assevervated: Far
no II from me to seem peevish or argu.
mentative, but the evidence Of both
my olfactory and gustatory senses
seem to indicate that the lactated food
contained in this receptacle has
reached an unpalatable and unwhole-
ZONE stage of fermentation Judge.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22

released or the handkerchief united
You soon explode this idea, however, for
after making one or two rapid move
ments of your hands and arms, you
throw the rope off and exhibit your
wrists still tied.
Wonderful as this all seems it is very
simple, and requires but little practice,
as shown clearly by the accompanying
illustration, says the Peoples Home
Journal The part of the rope marked
a." is rolled between the wrists, until
It works up through the handkerchief
and forms a loop, through which you
pass one hand, and then by giving the
rope smart jerk it comes of easily.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22

AFFAIRS he has always been. He now
must put forth a strong effort even to
emile. where formerly he threw back
his head and laughed with the zest
and heartiness of a care-free boy.
When he thinks anyone is looking at
him he forces a smile and attempts
Lis old jauntiness of manner, but when
the effort has passed he ages ten years
in a minute. He seems to shrink
down in his seat, his face becomes
gray and the lines Of age are plainly
drawn.
The senator and his relatives deny
that he is subject to aphasia, but there
mas been unmistakable evidence that
this malady has taken hold Of him.
Grave fears are entertained that its
appearance is a sign OF physical and
mental breaking up. 1t is well re-
membered here that the first indlca-
ton of the collapse of the late Admiral
William 7. Sampson was his inability
20 remember names and dates and the
Use of wrong words to express his
lucas. Senator Depew is watched
very closely by his niece Miss Pauld-
ing, and he has been forced by her
20 appear in his place in the senate.
One bad feature of his condition is his
aversion to mingle with his old col
leagues. He has conceived the notion
that they have lost faith in him, and
when he meets an old friend he will
glance at him hurriedly, inquiringly
and apprebensiyely until he sees a
welcome smile or a kindly glance.
Senator Depew feels that his life
has run out. He tells his friends that
a new era has begun, of which he is
not a part. It would be no surprise
sf he did not remain in the senate
longer than this session.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
PETER AND HIsToRY's VISIT.


One night come History with a roar,
Knocking at Peters bedroom door.
Peter" said It, "Tve come to see
Why you refuse to study me-"
And up It Jumped with skill and grace.
And sat right down on Peters face.
Now tell me- Peter" then It cried,
What year Haroun AL Raschid died;
And then tell me the month and day
When the Armada passed away;
And just who was Demosthenes.
Tell me Of Julius Caesar, please,
And how about the civil war
And what IS meant by open door,
What 90 you know OF saladin?
Was Falstaff fat, or rather thin2
DO you know what the Moros arOR
Tell me OF the Juggernaut's car"
So History went on until
Peter began TO feel real ill
"AlasW cried he, ~ see that /
Will have to study you or die"
Boston Globe.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
THE LIBERATED ROPE.
Trick Which Can Be Easily Done
When You Know How, But Which
Mystifies the Audience.

Take a stout rope about 20 feet long,
and hand it to your audience for inspec-
ton. After they have examined it, let
one of them bind your wrists together
with a handkerchief.
This being done, have one end of the
rope passed over the handkerchief, and
let the cords then be held up by one of
the company. Now request the person
holding the ends to pull one way, while
you pull the other, to show that the
handkerchief is tightly tied.
There is apparently no way of getting
the rope of, except when the ends are
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22

enfeebled condition could live "a hours.
His shrunken frame, feshless hands
and emaciated limbs show little or no
life. He looks as though he did not
weight 100 pounds. His brain, how
ever, is as active as ever and through
his indomitable will he keeps at work
and manages occasionally to get to his
seat in the senate chamber.
Recently, in conversation with an
'Cid-time friend. he confided to the lat
Ger that he proposed to retire from the
senate after TINS session has closed.
He said he did not care to resign now,
rs 1t would precipitate a fight for his
scat, and conditions were not favorable
for such a contest in New York at this
time. This means that Senator Plat
has not yet completed plans for the
election of a man whom he wants to
succeed him. The only evidence that
MT. Platt's mind is not as serene as
ever is an irritability that he did not
formerly show. He is testy at times,
8nd impatient, and short even with
his old friends.
Like Senator Depew, Mr.. Plat be-
1Ieves that he has outlived his politi,
cal generation. In the confidence OF
mis- home he will talk freely of the in
gratitude of the Republican party. He
will rehearse the battles he has fought
for the party and men whom he has
made politically, and the disappoint.
Erents they have brought him. His
only desire now he says is to leave pub
tic life, retire to his farm in New York
Gtate, and spend what may remain OF
uife to him in seclusion and away from
tie turmoil and care Of politics
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22


his place haughtily He measured the
distance and calculated. '.t
Pingl The pea few far, but there was
no thud on the target. The president
frowned, and placed another pea in the
sling.
Pongi It few and hit some part Of the
clothes-horse. The president knit hia
brows so tight that he could hardly I'M
Tavel them.
Whangl Tang! There we're two dis
tinct thumps. All gathered around the
target. Yes, there was the tiny mark
Of the presidents pea, farther in than
the others; but square in the very
middlest middle. of the center Of the
bull's-eye was larger mark and q
small stone lay on the board beneath.
The treasurer laughed so hard that
she nearly dropped the stakes.
That's my stone!" she said. ''The
president wasn't doing much, and !
turned around to fire that stone at a
pear, and it slipped out Of my hand and
went backwards"
"The stakes is hers" said the presi-
dent, manfully. "She hit the middle" !
The treasurer smiled joyfully and
then laughed again.
81 don't want EN-" she said. "The
knife's too mortal dull to cut anything;
can't play the jewsharp, and couldn't
draw barn door with the pencil; 30
you can all have 'em back"
"Well," said the president; 'if that
isn't Just like a girl!'-Sarah Noble
Ives, in Boston Globe.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
A New American Meat.

NUMBER of pub
lie men in Wash
in gton had a rare
treat a short time
ago when their
d in n err tables
" ere furnished
with a new kind
OF m e at. The
statesmen par
took of catalo
steak and roasts,
and have pro-
nounced it the
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22

Church-There's something wrong
with my neighbor.
Ctotham-The lawyer, you mean7
Yes; asked him, the other day,
what he thought Of the weather"
fWell2"
'He said to look out for a storm"
ooh, l don't know anything about
that, but the strangest part Of It is he
didn't send me a bill for advice
YOnkers Statesman.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22

into a committee room. This quiet
looking man is invariably engaged in
dictat ng letters to his stenOgrapher
and attending to congressional BUSH
ness, entirely oblivious Of the streams
If humanity which whirl about him.
This man is lockwood Hoar, a dis
tinguished son o. his distinguished ia
Their. He is the son of the late Sena-
tor George F. Hoar, and inherits much
of the ability and independence of his
father. He was one Of three repub-
lcans who recently voted for an
amendment to the Philippine tariff bill
which was intended to grant indie
pCndence to the Filipino. He believes,
did his father, that the United
States should relinquish its sover-
eighty over the Philippines and give
TO that people the right of self-govern-
ment. Mr.. Hoar made no speech on
the subject, but with his colleague,
Mr.. Mccall, of Massachusetts,, and Mr..
Fordney, of Michigan, he registered
his opinion in his vote. He is, at the
same time, like the late senator, an
enthusiastic republican, and has
made quite a record in his party.
Mr.. Hoar, being a new member,
does not have a committee room Of
his own, and he cannot take his
stenographer on the floor, so, as he is
a busy man, he keeps his stenographer
out in the corridor between two pill
lars while he dictates to him lot Of
correspondence. This particular spot
between the pillars has come to be
known as Mr.. Hoar's committee room
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Taking No Chances.

Come straight home from school,"
said Robs aunt. your father is to
be married tonight and 1 want to get
you ready"
"Sure l WILL" said eight-year-old
Robin, promptly. 81 lost out on the
other wedding, and it isn't likely that
Til miss this one too."-Judge.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Busy New Congressman.

SiIOhS at Lne
capitol these days
may behold on the
floor Of the house
a man dressed in
stylish tan clothes
who always seems
busy. Or as they
pass through tho
D bile corridor
they will see the
same man con-
verting a quiet
niche in the wall
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
The Railroad Pass.

he cutting off OF
free railroa d
passes by most of
the railroads in
the country has
been the subject
of comment, and
no end of amuse.
ment among pub
lie men. Maj. Nc
Dowell, of Penn
sylvania, clerk OF
the house of rep
resentatiyes,, who
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Love and Ewes.

"oh, I'm just in love with football,
father!" said the young man, coming
into the home with bandaged eye.
well, my son, you are not the first
man to get black eye after he. has
got in love-" replied the father, feel
iIgly.-Yonkers Statesman.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Tmnression Of Eovnt

"And you say" said the political
boss, who had been retired, and, there
fore, found leisure for travel, that
these mighty pyramids were built by
some ancient government"
THAT is the superstition"
Great Scott! What a chance for
graft"
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22

ubest meat that man ever ate. This
treat was furnished by Buffalo"
Jones, Of Arizona, who is known the
country over for his efforts to preserve
"A remnant OF the buffaloes. but more
particularly for his breeding OF a hy-
bird known as the eatalo, which is
cross Of ordinary cattle with the buff
Ralo. He had a specimen Of this by.
t'sia cattle killed on his ranch and
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Gnnd 70 His Folks.

why don't you have the snow
cleaned of your sidewalk" asked the
neighbor:
Because" answered Mr.. Lobrow, 81
think lot of my family and wouldn't
deprive it of any pleasure. You have
no idea how it amuses the children to
see people slip and fail down. Wash
ington Star.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Disappointed.

She-Do you know what I'd do II
you should try to kiss met"
He-No; why?
"oh, nothing; only you don't seem
to have any curiosity. Tit Bits.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Bothered After Dark.

But you are not always bothered
with poor light, are your" inquired the
complaint clerk at the gas Office
"Oh, no. not always" replied the
quiet citizen.
"Ah, thought so; it's only at ser
tain times that you notice it, chg
yes; only after dark. Tit Bits.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Had FORGOTTEN It.

Friend-I hear that you have broken
your engagement with DR.. Warmheart.
Miss De Gush-I?
Eriend-Why, yes. 1 am told that
you had a violent quarrel in the con-
sertatory half an hour ago, and you
told him never to speak to you again.
Miss De CUSHION, we've made up
since then.-N. Y. Weekly.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Certainly.

HAS your mother-in-laW presence
of mind?"
"Well, she's always giving me a
piece of her mind; would you call that
presents of d?"-Houston Post.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Sweet.

There was a young woman In Berne
Whose expression, forbidding and sterne
Relaxed quite bit
When a local quick-wit
Said she didn't need sugar in herne.
Houston Post.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Hardly Ever.

Women dress to please the men"
"Yes? Did you ever see the look OF
pleasure on mans face Rhen he gets
the bill for his wife's dry goodsT"-
Houston Post.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
A Method.

We're sure to make mistakes at best;
know that have made a lot.
Ill loudly criticise the rest
In hope that mine will be forgot.
Washington Star.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22

There is no more
pathetic sight in
public life to-day
than the struggle
of Senator Chaun-
cey NJ. Depew, Of
N ew York, to
m ain tain his
former debOnaiT
manner and to be
the genial, popu.
lar AFTER dinner
orator and man Of
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Matter Of Hearsay.

He (quoting) -Man proposes, and
She (interrupting)-so have heard.
but I've never had satisfactory proof
IT the assertion. Chicago News
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22

4 LII h9OAAa WI ~
pew gives evil
dence Of decaying
at the top, his col
league, Senator
Plat is withered
and palsied in
everything but his
brain. Anyone TO
see Mr.. Plat vir-
tually carried into
the senate cham
Der would wonder
how a man in his
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
A. M. PATTERSON.

Physician and Druggist, north
west corner Public Square,
Mexico, Mo.
Full line Of Staple Drugs and
Druggists Sundries, Patent
Medicines, Dye stuffs, Etc.
A full assortment Of Homoo.
pathic Medicines always on
hand. These remedies sent BY
mail when ordered.
win do strictly an Office praO'
tiOs.
ADVICE FREE
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Southern Bank Of Mexico


Capital stock ell paid up ..... $50 900 .oo
Surplus ............... .........e 25, O00.Oo
Interest paid on all deposits.
J. A. Guthrie, President; G. r. CLARK
Vice Presidents A. d. jackson, Cashier
Dlrestors; w. w. Harper, ]. T. John
son, j. A. Guthrie, O. w. Lewis, and O.
+. Clark.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Knew Him.

"Are you very we'll acquainted with
Mm?"
quite WELL"
"How well"
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22

"Well, know him we'll enough to
refuse to lend him money. "-Houston
Post.
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Washington GOSSIP
BUDGET OF CURRENT TOPICS
FROM NATIONAL CAPITAL.
SENATORS OEPEw AND PLATT
Both Are Expected to Retire from
Public Life at the Close of This
Session-Buffalo Jones Pro-
vides a Feast.

- A - AsHIN G TO NJ
Mexico Missouri message., 1906-02-22
Senator Platt Failing.

PA. - HILE Senator De-
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-12-06
SAILOR LOVED HIS SHIP.
Went Back as II Was Sinking and
Went Down with II.

One OF the pathetic stories of the
storm that swept up the Atlantic coast
a few days ago was that of the death
OF Capt. Matheson, of the schooner
Nellie Floyd, wrecked off the North
Carolina coast. 1t is of especial inter.
est in this section, because Capt.
Matheson and his vessel were well
known hereabouts. For a number of
years they had been frequent visitors
at Carolina and Georgia ports, where
ship and master became familiar fig.
ures. When the Floyd foundered and
II was certain that she must leave her
bones In that marine graveyard off the
North Carolina coast, life raft Of
matches was constructed, and the
crew, including the captain, piled on
it, AS they were about to push of,
trusting to fortune TO be picked up by
a passing ship, Capt. Matheson looked
back upon his beloved schooner, then
in its death thrpes. His heart smote
him. He felt like a deserter. The
suffering but inanimate hulk called to
him, and he could not resist the call.
Il am going back, boys" he said;
"good.by and good luck to you" Then
he scrambled back to the decks. by
that time awash and fast settling. And
In sight of the crew the ship and her
captain went down to their fate.
II is one OF Kipling's favorite themes
to illustrate the affection Of a captain
for his ship, and an engineer for his
machinery. II is one of the conten-
tions Of purists that one cannot love
anything incapable of returning affec-
ton in kind, but 1t is no stretch OF the
truth or license of language to say
that the sea is fairly peopled with
shippers who love their craft with
such devotion that they prefer death
with them to life without them. Such
was the case with the British Admiral
Tryon, who refused to be rescued
when some few years ago of Africa
the. battleships Victoria and Camper
down came into collision with such
disastrous results to the former, Ad
miral Tryon's flagship. There are
those who will assert that a good ship
and a good master come into closest
understanding and affection for each
other when they have long sailed TO-
gether, The master is jealous of the
care of his ship and that she shall
have the very best treatment, while
the ship apparently does her best to
demonstrate that the kindly care is
fully appreciated. Capt. Marryat says
that ship will become sick and sui
len and cranky under the hand OF
new master after an old and kindly
one has been removed from her. She
misses the petting and, according to
the fashion OF her sex, resents the
deprivation. Capt. Matheson, who
died with his schooner, was type ol
the sailor who loves his ship and who
will give his life for his love.-Sayan
nah News.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-12-06
A FEW TIMELY ooN'Ts.
What the Farmer Should Rene mbe er
Not to Do.

Don't throw forks farelessly on the
floors OF passageways in barns. That
is a sort of carelessness that may al.
most be classcd as criminal.
Don't neglect to keep all wheeled
vehicles well creased. A wheel that
cries out for lubricant Is a good many
pounds added to the load OF your
horse.
Don't throw forks carelessly on the
and other trimmings and refuse from
orchard, garden and truck patch for
thereby YOU destroy many harmful
insects and seeds.
Don't invest any money in gold
mines, coffee plantations. copper
works and the like, thousands of miles
from your home. and managed by
men you have never seen. BY taking
this advice you may possibly miss the
opportunity Of getting enormously
rich. but II Is altogether likely that by
needing II you will save money enough
10 buy that piano your daughter has
been wanting or the new buggy you
promised your son II he would stick
10 the farm.
Don't allow any line fence squabble
or any family difference to come up to
spoil your THANKSGIVING feast. II is
always a wise rule to think twice be-
fore You speak once; and II you will
take the precaution to think three
times. you are pretty sure to get
through life without uttering any
harsh words, and that means a serene
and sweet existence which is, after
all, the only thing worth while.
Don't speak in sharp, peremptory
tones to your children. You won't al
low the hired man to use such tones
to the horses lest 1t makes them ner-
vous, nor to the cows lest II interfere
with their milk production. Your
sons and daughters are of more value
than many horses, or the cattle upon
a thousand hills.-Farm Journal.