Milford chronicle., 1906-05-04
A MONUMENT TO ADAM.
Started as a Joke, Twsin's Scheme
Barely Missed Realization.

Started as a Joke, Twain's SCHEME
Barely Missed Realization.
Some one has revealed to the Tribune
that once suggested to the Rev
Thomas X. Beecher of Elmira, n. Y.
that we get up a monument to Adam
and that Mr. Beecher favored he'proj-
ect There is more to it than that.
The matter started as a joke, but it
came somewhat near to materializing.
1t is long ago-thirty years. Mr.. Dar-
wins Descent of Man" had been In
print five or six years, and the storm
/ of indignation raised by it was still
raging in pulpits and periodicals. In
tracing the genesis of the human race
back to its sources Mr.. Darwin had
left Adam out altogSher We had
monkeys and missing links and
plenty of other kinds Of ancestors, but
no Adam. Testing with Mr.. Beecher
md other friends in Elmira, l said
there seemed to be a likelihood that
the world would discard Adam and
accept the monkey and that In the
course of time Adams very name
would be forgotten in the earth; there
fore this calamity ought to be averted.
monument would accomplish this,
and Elmira ought not to waste this
honorable opportunity to do Adam a
favor and herself a credit.
Then the unexpected happened. Two
bankers came forward and took hold
of the matter-not for fun, not for
sentiment, but because they saw in the
monument certain commercial advan- |
tages for the town. The project had |
seemed gently humorous before. II |
was more than that now, with this |
stern business gravity injected into 1t. |
The bankers discussed the monument |
with me. We met several times They |
an indestructible memorial, |
to cost $4,000. The insane Oddity Of
a monument set up in a village to pre-
serve Il name that would Outlast the
hills aud the rocks without any such
help would advertise Elmira to the
ends Of the earth-and draw custom.
It would be the only monument on the
planet to Adam and in the matter of
interest and impressiveness could
never have rival until somebOd
should set up a monument to the Milky
Way.
People would come from every cor.
ner of the globe and stop OF to look at
It; no tour of the world would he COM
Dlete that left out Adams monument
Elmira would be a Mecca. There
would be pilgrim ships, at pilgrim
'ates; pilgrim specials on the conti-
lent's railways, libraries would be
written about the monument, every
ourist would kodak 1t, models Of it
would be for sale everywhere on the
'arth, and its form would become as
amlliar as the figure of Napoleon.
One Of the bankers subscribed 5000,
md l think the other one subscribed
lalf as much, but do not remember
With certainty now whether that was
he figure or not. We got designs
made. Some Of them came from
'arIs.
In the beginning-as a detail Of the
rOJect when it was as yet a joke-I
ad framed a humble and beseeching
nd perfervid petition to congress
egging the government to build the
lonument as a testimony Of the great
epublic's gratitude to the father of
le human race and as a token of her
,yalty to him in this dark day of his
umlliatiOn when his older children
'ere doubling him and deserting him.
seemed to me that this petition
ught to be presented now. It would
e widely and feelingly abused and
dlculed and cursed and would ad-
ertise our scheme and make our
round floor stock go or briskly. So I
ent it to General Joseph R. Hawley,
rho was then In the house, and he
aid he would present it. But he did
OF do It. I think he explained that
hen he came to read 1t he was afraid
1t. It was too serious, too gushy,
70 sentimental-the house might take
for earnest.
We ought to have carried out our Z
lOnument scheme. We could have
anaged it without any great diff
llty, and Elmira would now be the
Ost celebrated town in the universe.
Mark Twain In Harper's Weekly.