Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1906-09-21
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The Man Gin street car)-Take my
seat madam. The Woman-Thank
you, but also get out at the next cor
ner.-Chicago Daily News.
Nell really believe she married him
for his ehoney. Belle-Well, eliminate
his money, and what else would there
be of him Philadelphia Record.
Grace-I hear that Charlie and Helen
have made up their quarrel. Gussie-
Only temporarily. They are going to
be married soon.-Chicago Daily News.
Maud-Mr Wapplngton asked me for
three dances last night May-Yes, he
told me that he felt 1t his duty to make
a sacrifice of some kind.-Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
First Politicians Wlfe-My husband
gives me every cent he earns. Second
Politicians Wife-Is that all? Why,
my husband gives me every cent he
gets.-Judge.
The Lender-All right, I'll lend you
$5, but don't forget that you owe it to
me. The Borrower-My dear fellow,
shall never forget it as long as live
Brooklyn Life.
The Wife-He told me that If l mar.
ried him my every wish would be graf
flied. The Mother-Well, is it not SO =?
The Wife-No, wish | hadn't married
him.-Cleveland Leader.
''The vote that l esteem" said the
statesman, sis the vote that is not
bought. Yes answered Senator Sor-
ghum; you can figure that as clear
profit Washington Star.
First Tramp-Says In this ere paper
as 'ow some of them milliOnaires works
eight and ten hours day, Bill. The
Philosopher-Ah. it's ard world for
some poor blokes Punch.
"Rimer takes himself very seriously,
doesn't hep Yes, iudeed." Most Of
his poetry is pathetic, isn't it?" That's
what. he calls It, but the editors say It's
pitiful. Press.
"He introduced the bill in the legls-
lature, you know" The bill! What
billT why, the bill. Before his time
the gratters we're mostly reckless fel.
lows and used checks. Puck.
THAT man Is so honest he wouldn't
steal pin," said the admiring friend
"I never thought much of the pin test"
answered Miss Cayenne. TRY him with
an umbrella. a.'-Wash:ngton Star.
Are you ready to live on my in
come" he asked, softly. She looked
up into his fact trustingly. Certainly,
dearest" she answered.. "if-if--" "If
what?" "If you can get another one
for yourself. Judge.
Cant l sell you painless corn
cure, madam" said the peddler. mo,
you can't" snapped the woman Of the
house. ~ have no painless corns."
Then the door was shut with sudden
slam.-Chicago Tribune.
"What is your opinion on this ques-
tion" asked the friend. Let us un-
derstand each other. rejoined Senator
Sorghum; do you want my opinion
or do you want to know how 1 am 60
ing to Washington Star
"Fie, fe! my boy" said old Mr..
Cooley. I'm surprised that you
should tease that cat in that way"
"Why?" asked the bad boy, pausing in
his inhuman work, do yer know any
better Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Malaprop- husband is just
crazy since the fishing season opened.
He can't think or talk Of anything else.
Mrs. Browne or angling, Is he?
Mrs. Malaprop-I should say so. He's
reg'lar anglomaniac.-Phila
| Press.
better than a common tradesman The
Prince-Ah? "Yes. He actually So
licits marriage with heiresses instead
of waiting for them or their mothers
to approach him on the subject
Brooklyn Life.
"You IRE taking a great deal Of in
terest in this investigation" "Yes,"
answered the statesman. II have to
give it close personal attention. II
want to make sure 1t doesn't develop
anything l don't care to have known"
| Washington Star.
The advertising manager was in a
towering rage. whats the trouble?"
they asked. "Why, they went and
placed our prima donna's testimonial
for cold cure on the same page with
the announcement that she had a sore
throat and couldn't sing."-Milwaukee
| Sentinel.
Mr.. Gotrox-Suppose l were to tell
you that l was bankrupt-that every
dollar of my fortune had been swept
pttI ~