davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
VICTIM OF BUcKETsHoP.
The Latest Example Of Young Mans
Downfall.

To the Editor of The Age-Herald.
have heard many expression of SYM
pathy and good will for young Alex CHS
ohm, the latest victim of the bucketshop,
and even offers of financial assistance
to him as well as to prosecute, if it can
be done within the law, the bucketshop
sharks who, in plying their nefarious
trade, have inveigled him and so many
others to their utter ruin, and often to
even suicide-the bucketshop being the
cause, the victim the effect.
While fully admitting the sin and reck-
lessness of young Chisolm in thus, for
the love of money running the good name
of a grand old family and the happiness
of a lovely and devoted household; yet,
l think, the greater evil to the country
and the people at large lies in the ever
present temptation held out under guise
of lawful and legalized trade by these
socalled stock exchanges, which are, in
fact legalized gambling hells, who tempt
and rob the inexperienced by the glamour
of great fortunes to be made by putting
up small margins often of other peoples
money.
But few opportunities arise, where, as
in New York recently. clerk can, with
out putting up money, get possession of
a large block of valuable bonds which
he can legally sell-and if at profit he
take the profit, or if at a loss, the gov
eminent has to make a resale of the Sc
curities. As a rule, the man who buys
stocks at the socalled exchanges, whether
green or experienced has to put up the
cash (his own or somebody elses) to evon
get a chance to win in the deal or gamble,
as 1t really is, and woe to the poor young
man or old man, who puts up his mar
gin" with other peoples money.
Colonel Chisolm and his family have
the sincere sympathy of all the good,
law-abiding citizens of our community
and of host of warm personal friends,
one of whom is j. r. BRYAN.
Birmingham, August 10, 1906
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Against Bucketshops.

Mr. Nathan l. Miller. speaking about
the recent defaleation IN the First Ma
tional bank, said last evening that he did
not know anything about the matter, ex-
eept what had appeared in public print
and did not mean to suggest that there
was any completely of other people with
the teller under arrest. He added, how
ever 1T tends to oorroborate view
which [ have had for sometime, and which
seems to have been put into effect in
the state of Georgia, namely, ,here should
be a statute which prevents bucketshops
from doing business in the state of Ala
bama dealing in futures. The good name
of one young man in Alabama Is worth
more than all the money which bucket
shops can make, and if I am elected to
the state senate l am for a bill to wipe
them out of existence"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
SYMPTOM SUBWAY VENTILATED.

From the st. Louis Post-Dispatch.
For seven years work on what may well
be considered one of the greatest TIL
umphs of modern engineering mas peen
carried on increasingly. The famous SIM
plon tunnel is now an accomplished fact.
The work has cost over s15.5oo,OoO One
terminus of the tunnel is at Brieg, in the
Rhone valley, and the other at lseile'
in Italy. 1t consists of two tunnels, only
one of which will at present be used Tor
trains, the second serving the purpose OF
a ventilating shaft through which 1871
cubic feet of air can be passed every sec
ond. bringing the temperature down to a
degrees Fahrenheit.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
Getting Adjusted.

Said a citizen: yesterday four youths
stood for a few lingering moments on
the sidewalk in front of one of the large
buildings, containing rooms which, by
day hum with the sounds of business
and halls which, at times, resound with
the voices of thinking men on whose good
Judgment rests the welfare of a great
city. The hour was mid-evening. The quiet
of the night was about: blocks away. the
subdued murmur of the restless city's
business center intoned softly on the rain
cooled air. 1t was the play hour between
the work, and for young men, it seems,
there should have been the merry Jest and
the oarefree laugh.
But the young men were confronting
little tragedy-the passing of one of boy
hoods ideals. Each was silent thinking
of the pleasant evenings that had been.
but would perhaps, be no more; of the
efforts made to collect and hold together
little band of earnest boys to discuss
the nations and the city's needs; of the
seeming brief success in the weekly ex-
change of youthful thoughts and ideas.
and of sincere fraternity; of the final
baffled hopes. Failure had been the end
and with a kind of cynical scorn they
thought of the inconsistency of youthful
enthusiasm that had led them to ridlcule
the incompleted monuments and under
takings of those who are in the coun-
ellis of the land. and then. human like
to emulate their hated example. The poor
pathos of it all struck with a peculiar
force in the minds of each.
Finally, to break the silence that was
becoming oppressive one approached the
question from the vantage ground of the
bachelor, and remarked of one hitherto
faithful. who was absent, that he. too.
had probably succumbed to the enemy OF
ambition, the women. 1t was a new
thought. in a critical moment presented
and they seized upon 1t. Here was the
solution. But there is chivalry. and some
thing deeper. and he who had been bit
terest in his cynicism and denunciation
remembered fair faces and voices and
manners sweeter and more beguiling than
drew the laurels to a Cicero. Involunta-
riy, almost. he exclaimed Go thou, and
do likewise One ideal was shattered. but
the worfd-old fascination of another re-
NAMED untried, almost, in its witchery,
but wonderful and wide and promising.
And the assent, If not clamorous, was
sincere.
well. II was only an example of the
salad days and getting adjusted in life,-
and incidentally, a good illustration that
nature works in a masterful way for
her own ends"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
Cost of Health Bureau.

THE total annual appropriations for
health purposes (sanitary, hygienic and
protective) of American cities having over
$1,000 population are s4,0OO,OOO a year, and
of this sum New York contributes a
third. this years appropriation being ST.
345,OOO' said a statistician. Chicago ex-
ponds for its health department 100000.
maintaining in addition to the bureaus of
contagious diseases, vital statistics, sani-
tary inspection and bacterology bu-
reau for the inspection of lice, another for
the inspection of fish and a third for the
inspection of milk. The public baths in
Chicago and the supervision of plumbers
and their work are under the direction
of the board of health. In this city public
baths are under the control of the de-
partment of public buildings. lightning
and supplies and the examining board of
plumbers is separate municipal bu
reau.
philadelphia st. Louis and Boston ap-
propriate $125,00O each a year for the pro-
lection of public health and Philadelphia
and Boston maintain besides quarantine
bureaus as ports of entry. In New York
the quarantine service is maintained by
the state. Baltimore, which makes more
extensive provision for its health depart
ment than any other southern city ex-
cept New Orleans, exercises the legal
power to inspect all articles of food or
drink, to prevent the sale of unsound or
diseased meats, to expose fraudulent or
adulterated food supplies, and to punish
violations of the food laws For these
purposes 1t approprates $4,000 year.
1.-THE best tribute to the efficiency of
New York health regulations is the low
death rate, the general good health of
the people in summer time, the absence
of pestilence the small number of con-
tagous diseases and the excellent sanitary
conditions prevailing and enforced"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
A FEW THAT ARE BARRED.

From Judge.
81 have joke here, Mr.. Editor
Anything in 1t about the trees leaving
In the spring."
mo, SIR
Anything about fishing and the re-bait
system?'
mo, SIR
Anything about muck-rakers?"
mo, SIR
"Any reference to the United States
Senate being interested in trusts etc. p
mo, sir"
Anything about summer boarders?'
mo, SIR
Anything about summer-resort fish
ing?"
mo, sir
Does it in any way bring in the hem
pecled husband or the mother-in-law?"
mo, sir
ANY illusions to race suicide or the
word strenuous?'
mo, sir
HAS it anything to do with women's
clubs?'
mo, sir
Then for heavens sake let's see It'll II
must be a real joke"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
CONFINEMENT.

The rich man has his auto car
And rides in special trains,
But the poor man sees a rainbow in
The heavens when 1t rains.
The rich man buys fine works of art,
Puts up a palace grand,
But the poor man needs no artists brush
To paint the sea and land.
The rich man rolls in luxury
And thinks he's in the swim.
But the sun is warm to the poor mans
back
And the flowers nod to him
great many people summer in the
same place where they winter" They
can't get away.
Anthony Comstock has no mirrors in his
bathroom. He might see himself in the
glass.
If the good die young, they have so lit
tie fun that they ought not to mind it
much.
A Birmingham man who Dragged that
he was not bossed by his wife afterward
confessed that he was widower
A gentleman who recently drowned be-
cause he could not swim had asvery good
excuse.
News Note in 1850: A general massacre
of the magazine poets took place this
morning. The fatalities were enormous in
all parts of the country, Indiana being
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Friends of Fulton s. White, agricul-
tural editor of The Age-Herald, will be
pleased to learn that he has recently
been promoted to be agricultural and
horticultural commissioner of the Rock
Island-Frisco lines, with headquarters
in st. Louis Mr.. Whites new position
is one of grave responsibility and is a
fiatterihg tribute to his ability as an
agricultural and horticultural writer
and lecturer. Until his promotion Mr..
White was agricultural agent of the
Frisco system.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

and loan division of the treasury de-
nartment," he said, II hardly expected
to get even look in,' so l was much
surprised when a notice came ANNOUNCE
ing that an award had been made to rle.
Then looked for buyers and got them.
and / understand that the person to whom
/ sold the bonds afterward sold them at
a profit to a third party.
Had 1 been unable to sell the bonds
before August 1 1 would have been COM
PEELED to put up about $250,0O0, which, OF
course, l could not do. The penalty by
October 1 would. have been S6,oO0,0N l
hate to think what would have happened
had l not been able to dispose OF the
bonds'' =
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

river. If no other outbreak occurs,
another year may elapse before the in
yasion of the east is begun. The big
river is the casts picket line and tho
enemy has not appeared in force as
yet east of Alexandria on the Red
river.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
GALLANT WATTERSON.

From the Atlanta Constitution.
The Louisville Courier-Journal refers
to the peek-a-boo waist as pink poetry
dreaming through diaphanous mists' Age
cannot wither nor custom stale the gal
lantry of Editor Watterson.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Japan proposes to spin and weave
cotton for the Far East. She is becom-
ing as industriously ambitious as Ger
many, and she is proceeding on equally
intelligent lines.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
DUE APPRECIATION OF
THE MULE AS A FRIEND

sudden contact for which they cannot for
the moment account. and their nature is
to kick.
Really the "kickingest'' animal on the
farm is the poet-admired critter, the meek
and lowly cow. She can kick higher, in
more different directions, with less cause
for doing so than any mule or horse. A
man knows the direction horse mule
will kick. 1t is straight out behind He
knows, too, the forboding signs. But
that man has never yet been born who
can figure on the "whenneSs" or the
"whereness" of a cows kick. There is
no loss of dignity in the admission of
kick from a horse or mule, but no man
likes to admit he has been kicked by a
COW and hurt. Hence the COW kicks do
not get into statistics or the newspapers
and the others do
As to the kicking propensities Of the
mule, it is noticeable in Missouri, where
they know how to raise them, that every
mule has a shaved tail. Whenever the
mules tail needs shaving, which is about
every sixty days, a Missourlan, letting
the mule know he is there, stands right
behind his muleship, takes that tail in one
hand and does the ENTHUSIASTICALLY
with a pair of sheep shears-with the
other. No man was ever kicked shaving
mules tail. The mule knows he Is there
and what he is doing. The mule works
better than horse. stands it better and
eats less. As an all around animal for
farm work he is in a class by himself.
AS collateral the mule means more in
ready cash than anything on the farm.
He can always be turned into money. You
do not have to take him to buyers and
argue. They come to get the mule and
argue to keep you in disposing mind.
Pages could be filled with deserved praise
of the mule, the animal that never over
eats and never goes crazy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

The Grand Duke Nicholas has got
enough of military glory. Unlike the
most of the grand dukes he has act
ually been under fire, and he did not
enjoy the music of the balls.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
ut He luelxiest man ever heard Of
AC was chap who used to travel
for a Louisville tobacco

HHECA 49,
"@ was a chap who used to travel
for Louisville tobacco
house, said drummer. I'VE were pretty
well acquainted and once took a double
room in hotel. l went into the bath
room to take bath and found that the
plug for the tub was missing. I hunted
around for five or ten minutes and then
rushed Tuning toward the telephone to
give the office roast for not looking
after the comfort of guests. What's the
matter? asked the tobacco drummer. I
want to take a bath and there is no plug
for the bath tub Walt a minute, he
remarked quietly 1 put up the receiver
and he began rnmmaging in his grip. In
a jiffy he flshed out rubber plug and
handed it to me in silence. It fitted the
tub exactly. He never would tell me how
he happened to have a christopher among
his belongings and l will venture to say
that he was the only man on record
who ever went prepared for such an
emergency"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

The blare of the Chicago university
professor is becoming alarmingly fire.
quent and shocking again. One of
them has just announced that girls
who have had their fling make the best
wives.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

The President has decided that Ellis
Island officials shall work in order that
immigrants may not roast on board
ship on hot Sundays.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

The Russian papers that are saying
Japan can lick the United States are
simply selecting a subject that will
pass the censor unscathed
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

A premium is offered by the agricul-
tural department for first-class dis
ease guaranteed to kill the pests that
destroy crops.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

The Russian revolution rears up on
it's hind legs and collapses in quick
alienation.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Nearly every county can furnish the
National Good Roads association with
frightful examples. Jefferson has a
few In stock.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Mr.. Bryans homecoming day will
be an event in even New York city.
1t will be August 30, wind and weather
permitting.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Cotton is doing well in some sec
tions, and not so well in others. There
will be cotton to spin in the next cot
ton year, however
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Cannon was for Cullom for Senator,
and now Cullom is for Cannon for
President. Things right themselves in
the long run.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Since hazing has been resumed at
Annapolis, it is In order to resume In
vestigation and expulsion.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

The Japanese must learn that our
honorable seals are reserved for our
own honorable North American seal
monopoly.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Admiral Goodrich says that the Ia
comans are snobs. although his name
would seem to put him in the same
class
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Mr.. Cleveland cannot ride on the
Bryan carriage because this is the fish
ing season.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Fairbanks is a tall stopper, but he
will never step from the Office of vice
president to that of President.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

President Morse of the ice trust is
hurrying home. There is something
doing at home.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Japan is a nation that Is always do
ing something. She may yet do us ut
of the Philippines.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

It might be a good idea to look in Rus
sell Sages coffee pot before stating def
nitely the amount of his wealth.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

In this hot weather everybody loafs
but father.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

A relation of General Funston COM
mitted suicide in Ohio. Maybe he was
tired of being kin to Funston.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

William Jennings Bryan will be as
busy as a bee when he gets back to
the United States.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Chicago now boasts of 100000 peo-
pie, most of them bad.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Miss Esac is the latest candidate for
notoriety at Oyster Bay.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

The railroads of Kansas are now
fenced in by walls Of fourteen-foot
corn.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Wages in southern cotton mills are
lower, but they are still lower in ia
pan.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
IT'S much he dares;

IT'S much he dares;
And, to the dauntless temper of his
mind,
He hath wisdom that doth guide his
valour
To act In safety.
Macbeth.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

The chief purpose of western crops
seems to be to buy pianos for farmers
girls.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

The hand of the prober is again
heavily laid on Standard Oil.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

The man who thoughtlessly gets mar
ried usually thinks about it a great deal
after he is married
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
MATTERS OF THE TIMES

a heavy loser. It is rumored that the
slaughter was due to a conspiracy formed
by magazine editors and magazine
readers.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
MARVEL EXPLAINED.

A woman passed a mirror by
And did not take a look
She kept her eyes straight to the 'front.'
Not cen a glance she took.
''Ye gods A miracle this isl"
Cried those who were behind
But those who saw her face remarked,
Alas, the creatures blind"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

When the Sultan is sick his ship of
state rocks along in any old way.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

John d. Rockefeller is being painted
in oil, although he says he is out of it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Japan is keeping up with the pro-
cession, for she has meat scandal.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

And lot of people need 1t,
But there's not much fun in the simple
life
When a fellow has to lead it.
The champion hard luck story of the
year is that of young man who rescued
woman from drowning before discover.
ing that she was his mother-in-law.
CHANCE TO GET IN.
Chase those wrinkles
From your brow.
Summer suits are
Cheaper now.
Secretary Loeb ought to be paid an adj
ditional salary for the trouble he has
with women cranks.
How could you blame the ''peek-a-boo''
bug?
Naturally, Grand Duke Michael-etc., has
no desire to pose as a human seive.
A LITERARY LIFE.
The stuff looked good
To him, and yet
Each editor
Expressed regret.
At last he died
Out in the wet.
No editor
Expressed regret.
An easy way to spend a lot of money
is to go out camping with the idea that
1t won't cost much.
A newspaper writer who contributes a
few thoughts on the "R.gidity of Celestial
Bodies ought to be told that the pub
lie wants something light for summer.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

In press reports ugly girls never com
NIT suicide.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Washington Bureau Age-Herald 141 G..
street. N. W.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14
THE JOHNSON TRIO.
q Harner,s weekly.

From Harper's Weekly.
a travelling man thus describes a family
graveyard that he came upon while jour
neying through a sparsely settled region
of West Virginia:
There were three graves side by side.
The middle one was marked by a marble
slab, divided into three sections and in
scribed In the following fashion. In the
top division was chiseled:
THEODORE JOHNSON, A JUST MAN.
The secon division bore hand pointing
to the grace on the left, and was in
scribed:
Ii
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

WHERE THE RUB is.
Oh. the simple life will do all right
And a lot of people need 1t,
But there's not much fun In the simple
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14


Eastern business office, rooms S TO %
inclusive, Tribune building, New York
City: western business office, Tribune
building, Chicago. The S. c. Beckwith
Special Agency, agents foreign advertise
ing.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Daily and Sunday Age-Herald. .......sS.o 90
Daily and Sunday. per month";. ~
Sunday Age-Herald. per annu1n...... zoo
Weekly, Age-1erald, per annum... l.W
Subscription payable in advance
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, post
office as second-class matter under ACT
of Congress March g. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

When a fellow has to lead it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-08-14

The champion hard luck story of the
year is that of q young man who rescued
woman from drowning before Discovers
ing that she was his mother-in-law.