The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1906-12-21

perfectly neutral. It can't tite-that's
Imagination s'ss-: r.. =
'But 1t does!" cried Mrs. Gordon.
1T stings lil1e acid. It actually seems
to be eating my skin!"
Bite! = should say it did,"
growled Mr.. Blodgett. cts chewing
my hands OIL believe it's carbouc
acid, I DOLL swear do. No smell
but it's: been deodorized. That's it
-carbolic acid"
"Carbolic hddlesticks!" sasid Haw-
kins. !!
Then puzzled expression came into
his eyes. He raised one of his wet
hands and tasted it-and spat vio-
lently.
"say! Hold on! Wait a minute!"
he cried.
Hawkins darted of upstairs /
could hear him bounding along, two
steps at a time, until he reached the
top.
Silence ensued for few seconds,
save for an exclamation here and
there, as one or another of the guests
discovered that his or her neck or ear
or arm was smarting.
Then the servants piled up from be-
low. They, too, were wet and fright
ened. They, too, had discovered that
the liquid emitted by the Hawkins
Chemico-Sprinkler System bit into
the human epidermuis like fire.
"Phat is it? Plat is it," the cook
was drearily intoning, when hurrying
footsteps turned my attention once
more to the stairs.
Hawkins was coming down at a
gallop. In his arms he Carried a key.
which dribbled white powder over the
beautiful carpet.
"Say,'' he shouted to me. "That
ball didn't bust!"
ut didn't" I cried.
"No! There's no marble dust in
the stuff" said the inventor, landing
on the floor with final jump and
tearing into the parlor. "Its pure.
diluted sulphuric acid!"
"Acid!" shrieked a dozen ladies.
''Yes!" groaned Hawkins, depositing
his key on the floor. But We'll get
the best of it. William, bring up a
wash-tub full of water! Mary, go get
all the washrags in the house!
Quick!''
The homely household articles ar
rived within minute or two
Now" continued Hawkins, dump
ing half the key into the tub *That's
baking soda. It'll neutralize the acid.
Here, everybody. Dip a rag in here
and wash off the acid.
"Oh, hang propriety and decency
| and conventionaHty and all the rest
Of it!' he vociferated as some of the
| ladies, quite warrantably hung back.
Get at the acid before it gets at you!
Don't you-can't you understand?
It'll burn into your skin in little
while! Come on"
There was no hesitation after that.
Men and women alike made frantical-
ly for the tub, dipped cloths in the
liquid, and laved industriously hands
ready sore and burning
Picture the scene: A dozen women
in evening dress, dozen men in
sWallowtails,' clustered around
washtub there in Hawkins parlor,
working for dear life with the soak
ing cloths.
Ludicrous, impossible, it was lust
the sort of thing that could happen
under Hawkins roof and nowhere else
barring perhaps a retreat for the
insane.
Later the excitement subsidized. The
ladies, disheveled as to hair. carrv-
ing costumes whose glory had depart
ed forever, retired to the chambers
above for such further repairs as
might be possible. The men, too, I'M
der Williams guidance, went to draw
upon Hawkins wardrobe for clothes
in which to return home.
The inventor, Mr.. Blodgett, and N.Y.
self were left together in the drawing
room.
well, it's a good thing that was
diluted acid instead of strong, isn't
it, Griggs?" remarked Hawkins. "Orig-
inally had intended using the strong
| acid, you know, for the reason"
"Aaaah!" cried Mr.. Blodgett. so
that was more of your imbecile in
| venting, was it? re-extinguisher!
Bah! 1 thought nobody but you could
| have conceived the idea like that!
What under the sun did you let off
your Internal continuance for?'
ION, I just did it to spite you,
papa" said Hawkins, with weary sar-
casm.
by George, sir, believe you did,"
| snapped the old gentleman. cts like
you! Look at my coat, sir! Look
at"
| was edging away when Mrs. Hawk
ms entered. She was clad, in somber
black now, and her cheeks famed scar
let with modification.
WELT" she exclaimed.
well, my dear?" said Hawkins.
bracing himself
"A pretty mess you've made of our
house haven't you? You and
your idiotic fire-extinguisher!"J
: M