davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
Risks In HALLWAY JOurneya.

The idea that the man who goes on
railway journey takes his life in his
hand and is rather more likely than
not to meet with I'm untimely death at
the first curve the train negotiates is
scarcely borne out by the fact that the
chances against any one passenger
meeting his death on the railway are
36,OO0,000 to l. This immunity from
disaster reflects considerable credit
upon the companies, but still more upon
engine drivers aud slgnalmen. whose
skill ana care are the main factors In
the safety of the passenger.-London
Court Journal
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

Reason, reason as much as you like,
but beware of thinking that 1t answers
to everything. suiiices for everything.
satisfies everything. This mother loses
her child. VIII reason comfort her?
Does cool reason counsel the inspired
poet, the heroic warrior, the lover?
Reason guides but small part OF
many, and that is the least interesting.
The rest obey feeling, true or false,
and passion, good or bad.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
A Peculiar Book.

One of the most curious books In
the world belongs to the De Linge
family of France. This book is neith-
er printed nor written. All the letters
are cut out of the vellum and inter-
leaved with a peculiar shade of blue
paper. The work is so carefully done
that the book is read with the greatest
of ease.
Rudolprus II. of Germany offered H..
900 ducats for It; but 1t was not sold.
The most peculiar thing about this
volume is that 1t bears the royal arms
OF England; but as far as can be
traced It has never been in that coun.
try.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
A Costly DeaIx.

There Is famous old desk in the
British war office in London. II is a
desk to which old hands point with
emotion. That desk cost the nation
S25,000,000. In 1t is a pigeonhole with
a story. 1t was Into that pigeonhole
that the dispatch Of King Theodore Of
Abyssinia was thrust-and forgotten.
After we had been to war the docu-
ment was found In the desk, and we
all learned that there ought to have
been no war.-London Sketch.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
Lona Stop. Now.

Mr.. Stoplate-No. never played
football, but | used to be quite an
adept at baseball.
Miss Tersleep--What position did
you play?
Mr. Stoplate-I was shortstop.
Miss Tersleep-I should have i'm
agined just the opposite. How you
have changed.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
He ReIented,

Restaurant Proprietor--Here's your
wages. don't want such careless
waiter around my place.
Waiter-What's the matter?
Restaurant Proprletor-Why, the
gentleman ordered sirloin and you
served him porterhouse.
Waiter-Well, we all make mis-
steaks occasionally
Then the boss relented.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
Offers Prima FacIe Evidence.

Judge-You mean to say that you
base your demand for divorce on the
allegation that your wife can't cook
a decent meal? That's no ground for
divorce.
Plaintiff-Your honor, would you
mind coming around and taking din.
ner with us some day?
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

81 positively cannot sing tonight"
said the soubrette. SAT last ~ ex-
claimed the manager. "At last
whatP" queried the self.styled foot
light favorite. "You have found out
that you can't sing, )" replied the man
ager. And that's how the trouble
began. Chicago Daily News.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

Tess-Yes, George and agree per-
fectly. He thinks I'm the sweetest
thug on earth, and
Jess-That proves 1t.
Tess-How do you mean?
Tess--I mean, of course, you agree
wsth me.-Philadelphia Press.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

After a careful study of various
systems of street.lightiug, the Liver
pool corporation light 4So miles of
street with .incSndescapt gas. Tampa
and Is miles with double-carbou cleo
tric arcllamps.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
Riaht Side for the Heart.

Teachcr-Johnnie, on which side Is
your heart?
Johnnie-On the right side, teacher.
Teacher-No, Johnnie; it's on your
left side.
Johnnie-Yes, ma'am; that's what
| said.
Teacher--What you said?
Johnnie-Yes, teacher; the left side
Is the right side for the heart.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
The sting.

'T hear your firm discharged you."
"Yes, but I wouldn't mind that 50
much If they hadn't added insult to
injury"
"Howw
"They advertised for boy to all
my place."
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
Taking Him Down.

"Crittick was pleased to say that my
play had few equals as bit of rea'
ISM" remarked young De Ritter.
"He said even more than that" said
Pepprey.
"Indeed?"
"Yes," he added. "and positively no
interiors. ."-Exchange.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

She had called to consult a fashion
able physician, who was famous for
his way-up prices.
"Pardon me, doctor" she began,
"but do you--er--take anything of
for cash ?"
.''Certainly, madam, replied the N,
2. what would you have taken Of
"a hand or . foot Chicago News.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
All Aboard!

Something new for a fad" said
the manager. "A fur garment for
house lounging. Ought to hit the
ladies', eh?"
1T might" responded the proprie-
tor doubtfully, "if we had a good,
catchy name for It,"
II have 1t. The eskimona!"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

Intended Lodger-You say music
teacher lives next door that 10 not
pleasant.
Landlady--Oh, that won't matter |;
he has II children. and they make
such noise you can't hear the piano
-Flieg gende Batter.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
Progress.

"Yes." said the old man. my daugh-
ter is still studying French"
But she can't speak the language
at all, can she?" remarked the friend.
"She couldn't at first, but now she
can speak 1t just enough to make her
self unintelligible."
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

Your stomach churns and digests
the food you eat and If foul, or torpid,
or out of order, your whole system
suffers from blood poison X Hollister's
Rocky Mountain Tea keeps you well.
35 cents, Tea or Tablets.
GARRETT & AYREs.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

Ruffon wratz. (aboriously trying
to read fragment of newspaper)--
What's "calumnyp" pay
Goodman C'onrong-It's either a
grsjuate Of college or it's the stun
they put in these bakin' povders. Wot
about IL Chicago Tribune.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

The Manchester Evening News re-
ports that brilliant elk neckties
have come to the front again" This
should put stop to the fashion so
popular with the old gentlemen, of
wearing them under the left ear
Punch.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
Pleads Ignorance.

Judge-How did you come to get
drunk?
Defendant--Faith, yer honor, Orm
not to blame. OF didn't know what
OF was doin'.
Judge-You didn't. How was that?
Defendant-Well. ye see. sor. OF
was under tn influence of liquor whin
Oi htarted-Brooklyn Eagle.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

Mrs. Laura Ann Owen of Hamilton
county, Ind, celebrated her ninety
first birthday by "husking row of
corn around 30-acre field without
stopping to rest"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
How the Wreck Occurred

Magistrate-Yo complain that your
husband struck you? Why, you're
big, strong woman and he's a physi-
cal wreck.
Mrs. Murphy--Yis. y'r amer. but
he's only been physical wreck since
he sthruck me!
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

Fifteen dead and % injured was the
record of the prelude to the Wiscon-
Sin hunting seasoai which has just
begun. What will be the hnal result
now that the Law II on
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

Footpad lat a. m.)-Yer money or
yer life, an no back talk Under
stand?
Nonchalant Citizen-Youll have to
come again, old chap. The bridge
whist season opened tonight.-Puck
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

They say In London that John
Burns proposed old-age pension 70
shillings week. for every British
subject over 65 in the United Kingdom
who doesn't refuse to be pensioned
that way would take at least e100, ,000,-
900 year out of the British treasury.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

George r. Peck, the general coun-
sci of tine St. Paul road, 10 one of the
few men of the Uni,ed States senate.
He was appointed once and would
not take the place.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
Modesty.

rs that all the work you can do In
a day." asked the discontented en-
ployer.
We'll, suh." answered Mr.. Erastus
Pinkley Il s'pose could do mo-, but
never was much of hand fob show.
in off,"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

Gladys-Mamma can't see anybody
today. She's upstairs with the new
baby. You see, they sent her girl
when she'd ordered boy, an she's SO
disappointed she's sick.-Puck
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

Several Blondin relics, including
diploma and medal presented to him
for his feat In walking across Niagara
river on tight rope, will shortly be
sold at auction In London.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
Fame.

"Why don't you try to do something
that will make your name go down in
history"
TOO much of job" answered the
inert man. ITS as much as l can
manage to keep my name from being
posted in my club"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29
lndulgences.

Mrs. Knicker = What were the
favors at her dinners?
Mrs. Bocker-Her cook let her give
1t and her doctor let her eat It.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

SIS Muller getting a pretty fair
sslary?"
''Oh, yes enough to keep body and
soul and automobile. Life.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

Sheridan fell in love with. Miss Lin
ey and told the story Of "The Rivals"
which is q true account Of his court
ship.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-11-29

The men who go through life with
ships on their shoulders always avoid
meeting the right man. - New York
News.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26
Cuckoos and Cowbirds.

With all its vagabond ways the cowbird
is scarcely as bad as the English cuckoo.
1t has all the sins Of the cowbird, to
which is added the worse one of turning
the legitimate birdlings out of their nest.
1t begins as soon as it is out of its shell,
and never gives up till all have been
thrown over the edge of the nest. The
strange thing about it all is that the
parent birds care SO faithfully for the sell
fish intruder, be it cuckoo or eowbird.
The presence of a young cowbird in a
nest usually means that the smaller birds
are either smothered or starved to death
on account of its bulky body in the tiny
nest and its voracious appetite.
Some little birds, notably the yellow
warblers, are wise enough to recognize the
strange egg, and to build a second story to
their nest, thus shutting it away from
warmth enough to hatch it. Sometimes
they even build third story to cover up
an egg that has been deposited in the
second story. But enough birds are
duped and imposed upon annually so that
the wbirds hold their own in numbers
with other birds.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26

''She wasn't one bit like the girls who
indulge in public iirtations; she was so
tall and cold and stately" began the car
conductor who observes things. "When
she got in at Thirty-fifth street saw her
catch his eye Immediately.
"He seemed indifferent and turned his
head away. She squeezed herself into the
seat next to him, and he became absorbed
in looking out of the window.
s'She went to all sorts OF trouble to at
tract his attention, that girl. saw her
myself Finally she tangled her chate-
laine loudly and looked at him alluringly
from beneath her long-lasbed eyes.
"Then he turned and glared at her
questioningly. She smiled a bright I'M
abashed smile, with the whole car looking
at her.
s'Something in that smile warned him,
and''-here the conductor paused impress
sively and tried to hide the twinkle in his
eye-'he reached out two pink, chubby
little hands to grasp her dangling chate-
laine.
ssWell, sir, she kissed one of those
chubby little hands and pinched his little
apple red cheeks and then asked the wo-
man who held him question. Guess it
was his mother, and she asked how old he
xpas
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26
The Lewiston Journal.

The Lewiston Weekly Journal, fifty ninth
year, has one of the largest calculations among
high class readers Of any provincial newspa-
per in the United States. This is q complete
news and literary paper especially adapted to
interest the plain people, the homes, the
farmsides, the artisans, the workers, wives,
mothers and children. Our organization of
New England and of Maine, in particular, for
news purposes, is unrivalled within CORE
spending territory in the United States. Our
expenditure is lavish and is intended to be
wise.
We employ several special workers who
give dramatic attention to the novel features
and important events in the field of Maine
news. These special news services, always
thoroughly well illustrated, are fertile his
tory-makers in this State
The Lewiston Journal is a complete news
paper, our friends, the reading public, being
judges. Says one of the most eminent news
paper men in New England, not residing in
Maine, "there are three newspapers in this
country which read habitually and appre-
ciate cordially for their sincerity, their clean
illness and their intelligence as well as for
their news value - and one of these is the
Le,oiston Erening Journal. 1 am amazed that
so complete a newspaper can be produced in
a provincial field"
The Lewiston Eoening Journal is never so
satisfied with itself as to fail to put up new
money and put out new energy to make to-
morrow's issue better than to- days There is
no goal in sight; for the perfect newspaper is
yet below the horizon, but to improve is
obligatory and testimonials from all parts OF
New England and from Maine in particular,
pour in upon us in appreciation of the service
which the Lesoiston Evening Journal is rem
dering sincere republication, good govern
ment, and all the causes which concern the
progress of society, of education. $500 a
year. by mail.
The Lewiston Saturday Journal = Illus
trated; 80 pages; editions with magazine
section; paper for Saturday evening and ali
day Sunday; illustrated Maine sketches;
stories; short sermon; special news stories;
some of the best serials to be found any
where; in short, complete newspaper for
the family and the home circle, clean, bright
and breezy. $1.5o year, postpaid. A Sunday
paper Saturday night.
Address Journal, Lewiston, Me-, for SUBJ
scription or sample copies
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26
HARVEST HOME GRANGE.

Harvest Home grange, West Ellsworth,
held its regular meeting Dec. %, with
forty-four members in attendance. after
the routine business, the third and fourth
degrees were worked on three candidates,
in pleasing manner. Thiswas followed by
harvest supper, to which all did justice.
All pronounced it the ''best time' since
the grange was organized. There were
visiting members from Alamoosook, Lake
View, Arbutus and Dracut, Mass, oranges.
Programme: Song, Josie Higgins; reel
tstions, Lettie Guptill, Lutte Floyd, Clara
Carter; story, Henry Carter; selections
by the quartette.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26

SSdOoplC dhAN1E, rhANhLlN.
Schoodic grange, No. 42o, held its regular
meeting Dec. 20. In the absence of the
master, G. B. Scammon, who went as dele
gate to the State grange, Worthy Overseer
j. d. Perkins filed the chair.
After the usual routine of business it was
voted to have public installation at the
next regular meeting, Jan. 8. There will
be baked bean supper and an entertain
ment of singing, reading, dialogues and
tableaux.
In the past year sixty members have
been enrolled on the books, making to-
tai membership of 176. What is needed
now is new hall, as the one now used is
public property and cannot be made to
look like grange hall. 1t is hoped to
have hall in the near future, as every
member is much interested in having
better place of meeting.
At the last regular meeting there were
forty five members and six visitors.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26
JOHN poRrTY GRANGE.


On account of storm Friday the fair and
sale by John Dority grange, East Sullivan,
was postponed till Saturday afternoon.
The sale was well patronized, and good
sum was realized.
The candy table in charge of Miss Lula
johnson attracted the children, as did
also the doll table in charge OF Miss Rena
Hooper. Mrs. Fronia Cumming and Miss
Eva circuit presided at the handkerchief
table, Miss Bernice Miller at the fancy
work table, and Mrs. Annie johnson at
the apron and domestic table. The guess
sofa pillow was won by Fremont Bragdon.
The thanks of the grange is due all who
generously contributed for the sale. In
the evening the young people held So
ciable.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26
LAMoINE GRANGE.

Lamoine grange held its regular meet
ing Tuesday, Dec. IS. Grange opened at
regular time, Bro. Wesley Cousins in the
chair owing to the absence of Master j.
E. Young, who was in Augusta attending
State grange. After usual business, lit
erary programme was presented. After
many interesting readings, the topic,
what relation is the Grange to the
church," was taken up. There was good
discussion. Remarks were made by Bro.
Milton Beckwith, Bro. w. Cousins and
others. Three visitors were present from
Hancock grange.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26

The days grow dark, and Iyet, oh! happy
hearted,
hear a sweet bird singing at the pane
The leaves are dead, know that we are
parted,
And yet feel that we shall meet again.
The wind is drear; the SHOWS are deeply lying,
But yet see the sunshinelon the hill.
Love. love, l hear your distant voice replying.
Heart of my heart! IIknow you love me
still.
You loved me once,Idear heart,.do you re-
member
Our summer days, the autumn's purple
bloom?
And then our parting in the dark December,
And what you whispered in the trembling
glooms
All, all is gone; those hours of golden gloryl
The flowers are dead you plucked for me of
yore.
I stand and listen; tits the old .old story,
The winter comes, and you are here no
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26

This is the white heat enthusiasm
General Secretary Won Ogden Vogt
puts into the closing paragraph of his
account of recent Christian Endeavor
iown in the Mississippi valley.
1.-THE more OF this great western half
Of the Mississippi valley / get over the
more / marvel at the greatness and
promise Of our land. | get into reg
ular wild white horses champ and
foam mood when | think of 1.-THE
vast resources, the institutions that we
the youth of today will develop before
we are old Truly let us pray for
strength of mind and heart and will to
know what chance we have and to
seize 1t like men Christian Endeavoi
b alert in this vast region. 1t will
have a greater and greater mission"
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26
Reduced Railroad Rates

Owing to the large amount of tariff
work, both freight and passenger, made
necessary by the recent amendment to the
inter state commerce law, it has been i'm
possible to prepare and file the necessary
tariffs making effective on January ! the
reductions authorized by the board of di-
reetors of the Maine Central and Washing
ton County railroads at their meeting last
November. These reductions will be made
effective so soon as the necessary tariffs
can be prepared and legal notice given.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26

Hancock Pomona will meet with Sedg-
wick grange Friday, Jan. IL. The pro-
gramme will include the following: Adj
dress OF welcome, Ada Allen; response,
Andrew Grindle; paper Annie G. Allen;
Topic: ''In what way has the grange
helped this town financially, morally or
soeially?" Leader, Bro. Bartlett, of
Brooklin grange. Topic: ITO what ex-
tent is the liberal use of commercial fer
tilizers profitable on Maine farms?"
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26

often enough to not be forgotten. think
had as lief face n snow storm as the sand
storm that Susan wrote about. How strange
it would seem to to sit down to Thanks
giving dinner amid a bank of roses. 1t does
not seem to me that the roasted spare-rib and
chicken would taste just the same as they do
here, and Santa Clans would not have to wear
his fur coat there.
would like to ask if any of the sisters ever
tried to keep a yeast cake in a cup of cold
water. When my family is small only use
half a cake, and put the rest in cup of
water. / have kept it week in that way,
and found it as good when FIRST opened.
Turn off the water AID put in new to mix it
up in when you want to use it.
l wish you all q Merry Christmas and a
Happy New Year. ARE
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26
BANGOR TO BAR HARBoR.

Trains leaving Ellsworth 7.l6 m and 429 p
m, and arriving Ellsworth llI2 m, 1852 p NJ,
connect with Washington Co. Ry.
Stop on signal to conductor.
gstops only to leave passengers from points
east OF Washington Junction.
These trains connect at Bangor with through
trains on Main Line, to and from Portland
Boston and st John.
Passengers are earnestly requestly to pro-
cure tickets before entering the trains, and
especially Ellsworth to Falls and Falls to
Ellsworth. -
F. e. BooTHBY, G. p. & r. A. 4
GEO. F. EVANS,
Vice-Pres. and Gen1 Manager.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26
A Great Outside Remedy.

Most pains are of local origin-a s'crick"
in the back, a twinge of rheumatism, a
soreness all over arising from eold-are
all cured by outside applications The
quickest, safest and most certain method
is Ailcock's Plaster, known the world over
as a universal remedy for pain. They
never fail, they act promptly, they are
clean and cheap. You can go ahead with
your work while the healing process goes
ON. Sixty years. use has given them
great reputation.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1906-12-26
MELISSA.
ARE YOU roonrR roR e,vINeg

ARE YOU POORER FOR GIVING?
"Do you think you will be any poorer
For the little kind word you have said;
For the smile that has cost such little,
Yet sunshine around you has spread?
Do you think you will ever be sorry,
Or deem that your labor was vain,
For the gift won through self-denial
You gave without hoping for gain.
Do you think God is glad for the spirit
That prompted those offerings of lover
'She hath done what she could"-is He writ
ing
In letters of gold up above?
oh the word, and the smile, and the token,
Will brighten your own Christmas day;
And the joy of the dear little Christ Child
Shall shine like star DER your way"