Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-08-25
JoBsoNs DIDN'T MOVE

Were going to get out OF this measiey
old shack in the spring" he announced
with great positiveness to Mrs. Jobson. IF
we don't it'll be falling down on US some
night"
Mrs Jobson. who felt pretty comfortable
in the old house. was surprised.
"Get out Of it," she said. unable to re-
press her expression Of surprise. why,
where shall we go?'
"Oh. there are plenty Of places where we
can go. guess" said Mr.. Jobson. I'm
sick Of living in the open air, II you're not.
There isn't plumb window or door in this
miserable old dilapidated shanty. and I'm
sick Of it. Here I've been paying rent on
the COMPOUNDED old tepee for twenty-five
years and I've just about paid for II four
times over In that time. And now it's fall
ing apart all around me, and the hog of
landlord gets balky every time patching 1t
up Is suggested to him."
But" timidly suggested Mrs. Jobson.
didn't he repaint 1t from top to bottom
last year. and repaper all the rooms. and
put in new bath tub. and"
That's all right what he did last year.
Mrs. Jobson." cut in Mr.. Jobson. He did
have a little tinkering done around the
plant, but you can't bolster up q ruin with
tinkering. This blooming wickieup is about
thousand years old. I'll bet it was part
of the old Van Ness estate. I'm sick of it.
anyhow. and we're going to move in the
spring, that's ALL"
But" ventured Mrs. Jobson. i've al
ready found out that there isn't a house in
Washington that rents so low as this place.
and I'm sure we've been comfortable here
for a long time, and II we moved we'd have
to have new furniture. and carpets and
everything. and
who makes good for new furniture ana
carpets and everything. as you put 1t,
madam" inquired Mr.. Jobson. severely.
And whoever told you that the rent of this
miserable old-barracks was low must have
been full Of hasheesh at the time he told
you. The rents about twice as much as 1t
ought to be. I'm expecting the rain to be
leaking through the roof almost any time,
and every time there's an inch Of snow I'm
waiting for the roof to fall IN on us In our
beds. The ramshackle old joint is q hum
dred years out Of date, anyhow. I want a
only that, but I'm tired Of this neighbor-
hood-lot Of rubbering and frowsy old
women around here that I'm tired Of look
ing att
"But what neighborhood are you thinking
Of moving tor inquired Mrs. Jobson.
ANY neighborhood. SO it's a pleasant and
comfortable fat" was the reply that aston
IA fiat?" she repeated, with amusement.
DO you mean to say that you are thinking
Of moving into f1atT'
II believe that was the general tenor Of
my observation" said Mr.. Jobson. Your
hearing appears to be just about as good
as it used to be. Flat. fat" and Mr..
Jobson spelled 1t out.
But" exclaimed Mrs. Jobson. haven't
you always said that you hated and abomi-
mated flats, and that you'd just as 1--we in
the branches of q shedding cottonwood tree
as in a fiat. and that you'd feel as II you
in smoky cornice If you had to live in
fiat. and that there was no privacy for folks
living in a fiat. and that"
Madam" Mr.. Jobson stopped her sun
denly ought to devote ra yGur na1ss
that you read SO much. You are develop
ing one Of the most gifted imaglnations Of
any female person I ever met up. with or
heard off,
"But," said Mrs. Jobson. haven't you
always declared that you despised fats.
and that you'd just as lief be sent to the
wcrkhouse as to be condemned to live IN
fat and that
MRS. Jobson," cut in Mr.. Jobson. in
tone of deep disapproval. Il not only never
in my whole life said those things. but l
never said one word of them-never! I've
wretched old tumbledown hut and to move
into q fiat for years, and you know It. I've
only been restrained by the certain knowl-
edge that you would kick up all kinds OF
But the time has come when I'm going to
speak for myself and gain a little comfort
Just as soon as the first warm weather OF
spring comes, therefore, l want you TO get
a move on and go out and look around for
a fat Something with about SIX rooms
and a bath will be about the right thing.
I'm sick Of all this bother OF furnaces 10
attend to and ashes littering up the place,
and a lot of stairs to climb from the base
ment up and q house that rattles In light
southern zephyr like coal barge In ty-
phoon. Well move the minute you find the
right kind Of a fiat. That's all there Is
about 1t. and desire that you consider the
matter al settled and arranged.
When the pleasant spring weather got
around, however, Mr.. Jobson said no more
about fats, for he bought lot OF hover
seeds and became busy digging UP the Dack
yard and planting them.
When most Of the deliberately planted and
nursed flower seeds came up as various
weird-looking weeds. however; MT. Jobson
broke out again This was shortly before
the Jobsons started on their summer Vaca-
ton at the seashore.
''The very next day after we get back to
Washington" said MI; Jooson a. as n, .nss
out and look for a fiat. And want the fac.
that I told you this to stick IN your mind
this time be good enough to remember.
away last winter. to look for fat in the
spring and that you completely ignored my
request when spring came-piease donA get
the idea in your heaQ tndt m SUCH d uOu-
derry old fossil that forget everything. Tor
TIL fool you. But when we get back were
going to move into fiat, and that's all
there is about It,
When the Jobsons returned from their va
cation a couple of weeks ago Mrs. Jobson
found herself in a somewhat worried frame
of mind. She didn't want to move away
from the old place, which was really ex-
tremely comfortable, and she had small idea
that Mr. Jobson wanted to move anywhere,
either. much less to fiat. But she wanted
to get the thing fixed positively before set
ting down for the fall and before begin
ming the fall housekeeping. and so she said
to him:
I'm going out tomorrow TO nunt TOT
fiat"
'.Huh?" inquired Mr.. Jobson. who was In
the back yard, admiring fine bunch OF
hollyhocks which. of all the seeds he had
planted, had really come UP according to
the label on the seed package.
'Flat," said Mrs. Jobson. "You know you
told me- before we went away. that You
wanted me to go out and look for fiat Inn
mediately upon our return"
who told you such foolishness?" In
quired Mr.. Josson. boldly. to cover his
"You did," declared Mrs. Jobson, venture
somely.
The out-and-outness OF her reply was
what got him going.