davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

President Motion should calm themselves
down to normal and give Vulcan a chance
u secure the pedestal that he greatly
needs. At present he rests in an undlg-
nihed position.
a millionaire who insisted on splitting in
the ears Of san Francisco has been SEN
fenced 70 a year in the penitentiary on
charge of perjury. It would be inter-
esting to have a photograph of him serv-
ing his sentence.
John Alexander Dowie has been an inn
poster 50 long he has become. megalo-
maniac. lie really believes in himself
----.s--
Joel Chandler Harris is the foremost
writer of the south. and easily Georgia
foremost citizen. But he declines to be
called a national figure.
-.s--
President Motion seems to think money
should do all the talising-a proposition
the Cadmean circle will never accept
------s.------
John Alexander begins to think he left
some sinners in Zion city and he proposes
to reach for them with a miracle.
The fact that Zulu prince won the
highest oratorieal honors at Columbia has
no bearing on the race question.
Vesuvius Is getting busy after win
ter's nap. 1t is much like the grounding,
except in weather predictions.
--
Our beloved drydock is still wallow-
ing ON in an effort to get there before
the typhoon gets busy
Austria and Hungary have come to mu-
tual terms, and the union is now assured
while Francis Joseph lives.
The democrats carried st. Petersburg
at any rate. and they were constitu-
tional democrats. too
---s.----
Ruth Hofer is Dowie's little lump OF
gold" and he weant it both ways, for
she is very rich.
The red man likes the wild west show
because it offers so many opportunities
to be wicked
A ST. Louis man in search of variety
spat on women's silk skirts instead of
the sidewalk
---~ss-----
The anarchists cannot hit King Alfonso,
but cupid has Sand will again in the
future.
The White House is webbing now-a-
days from end of the Avenue to the
other
Secretary Bonaparte wants a national
hymn He ought to see George NJ. Conan.
Dowie is a lamb in Wall street only.
lie is an obstreperous ram elsewhere
----~----
Chauncey drops his Yale trusteeship,
but not his New York senatorship.
The casting out of Dowie is to be done
without paying any lawyers fees.
---s------
The state fair association is getting
ready for an active fall campaign.
--s.---
President Motion and Overseer Dowie
are good fighters at any rate.
Flowers eggs are going at 81 apiece in
Merrie, England--to rich people
-s.-@-
Mark Twain is the most popular Amer
lean. Hats off to hml
---.s-----
Dowie is catching it where the insur-
ance magnates got it..
It's queer town that hasn't Car
negie library.
Andy Fields talks like Andy Hamilton.
Vesuyius is worth seeing now.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Another Richmond appears in the field
in the person of Andy Fields, who kept
at Albany The House of Mirth. He pro-
poses to expose the hypocritieal respect
ables who have been singing mud al him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08
>heJ1er.es>
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
MATTERS OF THE TIMES

ment if all of it had to be esthetie, ethi-
cal and intellectual? Ye gods! We would
forget how to laugh
TALE OF THE RACE TRACK.
The ponies ran
But SmithSins walked.
He played to win
The filly baked.
The Cordova News says, 'There is very
little difference in the smell of a pole
cat and a cigarette" Softly, brotherl
There is as much difference as there
is in the odour of an automobile and an
"unyun"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

ing and made such strenuous effort to
catch it that he attracted the attention
-of every one near him. AS the ball flew
over his head and was caught by some
one behind him he grit his teeth and
pounded his seat with his clinched fist
and turning to a friend said:
There it is again; just my luck; have
missed the best chance l ever had or
ever will have to make my Nomination
for the United States Senate a certainty
Without the possibility of hitch or a
doubt"
What do you mean?' inquired the
friend
Il simply mean" returned the candi-
date, that If 1 had caught that ball ev-
cry fan in Alabama would have voted
for me against the world and half of
them volunteered to go on the stump IN
my interest"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

PAPER RICHES.
He has a million plunks in gold
On paper.
He made it on mine he sold
On paper.
He seems a wealthy man, I wis
But, GENTLE stranger, ponder this:
You can't support yourself in bliss
On paper.
When baseball player makes dumb"
play there is an irate fan" who gets
up and walks right out of the park, but
the game goes on.
Wuxtra! Wuxtral 1t is charged that the
Methodist Book Concern has been quietly
setting up advertisements for the demon
RUM which were used on the outside.
BACK AGAIN.
Hear the fellow
Awful bore.
Always asking,
whats the scorer"
Literary thieves in Indiana are ransaek-
ing the libraries. However all they take
is money.
The Undergraduates do no, think comic
supplements esthetic. ethical or intellect
ual. Surely not. They are meant to en-
terrain What would become OF amuse-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08
HOME SWEET HOME.

HOME SWEET HOME.
Where do children make muss?
Home sweet home.
Where does father storm and fuss?
Home sweet home.
There ones temper's rather short,
There We hear the quick retort,
Tho abroad another sort
Home sweet home.
What is built at Lonsomehurst?
Home sweet home.
Where does strouble break out first?
Home sweet home.
Cook is sullen, dinners late,
Roast is fierce-you say it's great.
Soggy biscuit on your plate
Home sweet home.
What takes all fellow makes?
Home sweet home.
Keeps him humping till he aches7
Home sweet home.
Yet. it is a pleasant place.
Seat of joy and loving grace.
Therefore, I will close my case
Home sweet home.
A janitor who used to be prizetighter
is now president of a piano company.
Anything is possible in the land of the
free.
MANY a young man is trying to sup
port a sealsllin wife on muskrat sal
ary." says a woman lecturer who knows
what she is talking about.
Rabbi Hirsch says that % per cent OF
rich, ,,,a,,'c enpc ora xuorfh1aSc No WON
der rich people Would rather hear their
money talk than their poor neighbors.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

IN. o. in Chicago politics may stand
for Municipal Ownership, but it certainly
does not stand for Municipal Operation.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

~ 1-I.cAN again occupies the center
VU of the Birmingham stage and
is more conspicuous today than
he was even at the St. Louis fair.
The president of the Commercial club
goes out Of his way to protest rather
vigorously against the views and actions
of the women of the Cadmean Circle and
accuses either these good women, of ar
tistic temperament and refinement OF
vision. who would not muddy the atmos-
phere of a neatly decorated little park
with the massive mass of a mineral mon
strosity because Its making was mined
here; or the Mayor or the chairman of
the finance committee of sleight of hand
performances or of shrewd political work.
I don't know anything about how it
was done. but Vulcan might well be set
out on some mountain, high up, from
whence he was mined or made.
He is up there now resting in rusty
remnants of his dear old self. Why not
leave him a bit of time and refer the
matter to all the people in a general
election or primary as to where he shall
be pedestally placed.
The Commercial club don't own him.
He belongs to Brmingham-to all the
people. Little and big alike helped 10
make and mould HIM He is as important
to Birmingham and as dear to its peo-
pie in regard to where he shall be
placed, as is any candidate for the COVER
norship or the senatorship.
In Alabama every man of repute and
registration can vote for Governor. for
Senator and for senatorial succession. be
there vacancy Vulcan, upon the same
basis of fair play. has rights, and the
people in primary should elect his Office
whether it be chair, seat or PEDESTAL
The multitude makes merry over the
madness of the man who mauls in manu-
script the manifest correctness of the
critical who are accurate in calling down
those who would put a perpetual POM
poslty in a pretty park.
Motion should melt his manuscript and
mould it over.
Everybody has been with him in his
efforts to pull Vulcan together and put
him up somewhere; but why punish the
people of Birmingham of artistic tenn
permanent by placing him in small and
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

The cadmean Circle Col. Johns and
President Motion should calm themselves
down to normal and give Vulcan chance
u secure the pedestal that he greatly
needs. At present he rests in an undig-
nified position.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

a millionaire who insisted on splitting in
the cars Of San Francisco has been SEN
fenced 70 a year in the penitentiary on
charge of perjury. It would be inter
esting to have a Photograph Of him serv-
ing his sentence.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Mark Twain is the most popular Amer
lean. Hats off TO hm
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Dowie is catching it where the insur-
ance magnates got it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08
ABSORBED.
ABSORBED.
Nobody heeds the
Sparrow's fall
After the umpire's
Said. "Play Ball!'

What Andrew Carnegie doesn't know
about the race question would fli several
quar- to volumes but he has made lot Of
money in steel. so he is not confined to the
subject with which he is most familiar. i.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

UNCLE EPH GOES FISHING
Whoa, now. Mister Catfish
Whar' you goin dar?
Boun l shauls you on de bank
Fore you projecks far.
Needn't think cause Is OIL
You kin / IL me out.
Don't you try ter break nah line!
Amt no use ter pout.
Whoa, now, Mister Catfish!
Drat yo measly skini
Count oh yo bad temper
l done tumble in.
Whar' dat pole? Good lordyl
Way on tOther side.
Can't go home ter Indy
Twell nah c'oze IS dried.
We have in this country oil kings, coal
barons and merchant princes. The COM
mon people say, Me lord, the carriage
waits
Montgomery. wake up" says a contem-
porary. Call again and louder.
Every time Alfred Austin writes a poem
some mean critic pokes fun at the poet
laureate. "Daffodils'' has been picked
to pieces.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Flowers eggs are going at 81 apiece in
Merle, England-to rich people.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

John Alexander Dowie has been an i'm
maniac. He really believes in himself
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

~ ULcAN again occupies the center
yU of the Birmingham stage and
is more conspicuous today than
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Ruth Hofer is Dowle's little lump of
gold" and he weant it both ways, for
she is very rich,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

President Motion and Overseer Dowie
are good fighters at any rate.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

The red man likes the wild west show
because it offers so many opportunities
to be wicked.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

~ AY on, McDuff, and damned be
~ he who first cries, Hold,
- enoughn Every time the es-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

The democrats carried St Petersburg
at any rate. and they were constitu-
tional democrats. too
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

The state fair association is getting
ready for an active fall campaign.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Our beloved drydock is still wallow-
the typhoon gets busy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Austria and Hungary have come to mu-
tual terms and the union is now assured
while Francis Joseph lives.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

~ he who first cries, Hold.
- enoughn" Every time the es-
teemed Cadmean circle or some circle
for promotion and uplift gets after old
man Vulcan the noise of the strife is
heard in neighboring cities and comment
is made thereon. Thus does Birming
hams free advertising continue. despite
the fact that Vulcan is now a hero Of
the common or garden variety. Agtate
the iron man! Let dlssention be uncon-
finedl II Vulcan had been brought back
from St. Louis out of debt and had taken
his stand somewhere about town, cloth
ed in eminent responsibility. people would
have long ago ceased to talk about him.
AS it is now, the uproar of his disgrace
holds him constantly in the public eye.
1t would be good thing for the district
If Vulcan could be kept in hot water for
another year 'Twould be hard on Vul-
can it's true, but it's an i'll wind, you
know, that blows nobody good.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Chauncey drops his Yale trusteeship
but not his New York senatorship
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

It's a queer town that hasn't a Car
negie library.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

The White House is webbing now-a-
days from end Of the Avenue to the
other.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

President Motion seems to think money
should do all the talldng-a proposition
the cadmean circle will never accept.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

A ST. Louis man in search of variety
spat on women's silk skirts instead of
the sidewalk
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

The anarchists cannot hit King Alfonso,
but cupid has Sand will again in the
future.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

vesuvlus is worth seeing now.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala. post
office as second-class matter under ACT
Of Congress March 8, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Joel Chandler Harris is the foremost
writer of the south, and easily Georgia's
foremost citizen But he declines to be
called a national lsnre.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Secretary Bonaparte wants national
hymn. He ought to see George NJ. Cohan,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Sheffield Standard: Mr. Conner should
give us history of what the Alabama.
Railroad Commission has accomplished
during the many years of it's existence.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

Dowie is a lamb in Wall street only.
lie is an obstreperous ram elsewhere.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-08

John Alexander begins to think he left
some sinners in Zion City and he proposes
10 reach for them with a miracle.
The Springfield herald., 1906-01-12
IN THE NITRATE covNTRy

In his Commercial Traveller In
South America" Frank Wiborg writes:
1--WE stopped at a number OF the nj
trate towns, Pisagua, Iquique, Auto
fagasta, and l visited some OF the
mills or officials in order to see some
thing of the industry. Deposits of the
crude nitrate of soda, called here
'caliche, are found in the pampa or
rolling plateau beyond the first range
of foothills. In some places this pla-
teau is but ten miles from the coast,
In others as far as fifty miles. The
pampa is an utterly barren desert. On
the surface there is nothing to tempt
the heart of man, but few feet down
lies the nitrate stratum. This pre-.
sents much the appearance of rock
salt and varies in color, according to
the purity of the deposits, from a whit
ish tint to a dark gray. The upper
earth is blown away with dynamite
and then the caliche is dug out with
pick and shovel. loaded on iron carts
and carried UP to the mills.
Here the caliche is first broken
into small pieces by heavy cruhhers
and then put into large boiling watts.
Inside these watts are coils of steam
pipes, by means of which the temper
The Springfield herald., 1906-01-12
OVER THE GHASTLy HIGHWAy

The scattering overland migration
to Oregon and California-beginnins
so early as 1S46, became a never-par-
alleled tide by the spring OF 1S49,
when the gold rush was really on, says
Charles F. Lammis in McClure's. In
all the chronicles of mankind there
is nothing else like this translation of
humanity across an unconquered will
derness.
In its pathless distances, its linevi-
table hardships. and its frequent saw
age periis, reckoned with the char
actercof the men. women and children
concerned. it stands alone. The era
was one of national hard times and
not only the professional failure, but
ministers, doctors, lawyers, merchants
and farmers, with their families,
caught the new yellow fever and be-
took themselves to journey fifty
times as long and hard as the aver
age of them had ever taken before.
Powder lead. foodstuffs, household
goods, wives, sisters, mothers and ba-
bies rode on the Osnaberg sheeted
prairie schooners, or whatsoever
wheeled conveyance the emfgrant
could scare up. from ancient top bug
gies to new Conestogas; while the
The Springfield herald., 1906-01-12
NEGRO BUSINESS MAN.
Raised Seventy-two Thousand Bushels
oT Potatoes Last Year,

Booker T. Washington has an arti-
Gle In the American Illustrated Maya
zine for January entitled '"The Negro
in Business He tells of the really
remarkable success of particular
negro, Groves by name, and then
tells what Groves says about it. Mr.
Washington says:
But why is Mr.. Groves called "The
Negro Potato Kins7" Let me
answer. Last year he produced upon
his farm 1880 bushels of white po-
tatoes, averaging 245 bushels to the
acre. So far as reports show, this
vas 1880 bushels more than any
other individual grower in the world
produced. And besides the potatoes
raised on his own farm, Mr.. Groves
buys and ships potatoes on a large
scale. Last year he bought from
white growers in the Kaw Valley, and
shipped away twenty-five cars of
white potatoes. He also bought
fourteen cars of fancy seed potatoes
in North and South Dakota, which he
sold to growers in the Kaw Valley,
and in Oklahoma and the Indian Ter
ritory. Mr. Groves says that he ships
potatoes and other farm products to
nearly every portion of the United
States, and to Mexico and Canada
AT the recent meeting of the Ma
tional Negro Business League in New
York. Mr.. Groves was asked how he
was able TO conduct go varied and
large business enterprises, when he
had had no education as a business
man.
you have children, haven't you?"
Mr.. Groves replied
Yes" said the other Some of
them are grown up now
How do you manage your grown
up children?'
"Oh. / get along with them" replied
his friend. laughing. You see have
known them long time"
"T1U:t's just the way with my bust
ness" said Mr. Groves. Il started in
with it when il was a baby. and I've
had a chance to get thoroughly ac-
quHinted with it as it grew up
The Springfield herald., 1906-01-12

men rode their horses or mules or
truGged beside the caravans. A his
toric party of five Frenchmen pushed
a handwagon from the Missouri to
the coast, and one man trundled his
possessions in wheelbarrow. At it's
best 1t was an itinerary untranslata-
Bile to the present generation; at its
worst with Indian massacres, thirsts,
SHOWS, "tender-footedness" and dis
ease, 1t was one of the ghastliest high
ways in history. The worst chapter
of cannibalism in our national record
was that of the Donner party, showed
in from November to March. 1849-5O.
in the Sierra Nevada In the sos the
Asiatic cholera crawled in upon the
plains, and like gray wolf followed
the wagon trains from the river to
the Rockies. In the height of the mi
grafton, from 1000 to 5000 immi-
grants died of this pestilence, and if
there was a half-mile where the In
dians had failed to punctuate with
grave, the cholera took care to remedy
the omission. The 2,0OO-mile trip was
matter of four months when easy.
and of six with bad luck. Children
were born and people died, worried
greenhorns quarreled and killed one
the train struggled on.
The Springfield herald., 1906-01-12
COOLIES IN SOUTH AFRICA

Writes an observer in South Africa:
The Chinese are everywhere You
see them in the streets of the towns,
on the platforms of the railway sta
tons, or about the Rand. There are
now nearly $4,000 of them scattered
up and down slice of country about
forty miles in length. Some arc
working in mines which are practical
ly in johannesburg itself. Yesterday
morning l was walking down Commits
sioner street, when came across thir-
ty of them at work digging out the
foundations OF new hotel. They
were prisoners serving terms of hard
labor and were leased out to the con-
tractor at one shilling a head day.
And they were employed in the very
center of Johannesburg. Out at
knights | saw a huge camp where
] 400 more Chinese prisoners are at
work making a deviation of the rail
.yay line from Germistor - BoF sburg.
The Springfield herald., 1906-01-12

conceiving. is nothing compared with
that which is... Already the smallest
revelations of science in our humble
daily life teach it that, even in that
modest environment. 1t can not cope
with reality, that it is constantly be-
ing overwhelmed, disconnected, daz-
zled by all the unexpected that lies
hidden in a stone, salt, glass of
water, a plant, an insect. 1t Is al
ready something to be convinced OF
this, for that places us in state of
mind that watches every occasion to
break through the magic circle of our
blindness; 1t persuades us also that
we must hope to find no decisive
truths within this circle, that they all
lie hidden beyond.
Let us say to ourselves that.
among the possibilities which the
universe still hides from us. one of
the most palpable. the least ambitious
and the least disconcerting, is GER
tainly the possibility of means of
enjoying an existence much more spa
cious, lofty, perfect, durable and Sc
cure than that which is offered to us
by our actual consciousness. Admit
ting this possibility-and there are
few as probable-the problem Of our
Immortality is, in principle. solved"
The Springfield herald., 1906-01-12
FINDING THE REAL WORLD.

Maurice Maeterlinck, the Belgian
philosopher, writes in Harper's Maga-
zine on the limitations of the senses
and the wonders Of the universe that
lie beyond their ken. What keeps
and will long stifl keep us from enjoy
ing the treasures of the universe is
the hereditary resignation with which
we tarry in the gloomy prison of our
Senses" he says. Our imagination,
as we lead It to-day, accommodates
itself too readily to that captivity 1t
is true that 1t is the slave of those
senses which alone feed IL. But 1t
does not cultivate enough within 1t
self the intuitions and presentimeuts
which tell 1t that it is absurdly cap
tive, and that it must seek outlets
even beyond the most resp!endelt
and most infinite circles which 1t pic
lures to itself. 1t is important that
our imagination should say to itself
more and more seriously that the
real world begins thousands of mil
lions of leagues beyond its most am
bilious and daring dreams. Never
was it entitled-nay. bound to be
more madly foolhardy than now.
"Al! that 1t succeeds in building and
multiplying in the most enormous
space and time that 1T is capable of