The Washington times., 1906-03-11

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and Whacker declared that it looked
very promising when I interfered;
but that's Just like a dog. Anybody
else would have known that it was
all talk, but dog thinks noise IS half
the battle and he IS tickled half to
death when he can growl and frOth
at the mouth and show his teeth
while somebody is holding him
back. Whacker would threaten the
royal Bengal tiger if there was
closed door between them. Ma says
she has seen men Just like that.
Dogs are certainly Ike men, anyway
Whacker doesn't like a bath any
more than I do.
Pop has discovered that we never
need any clock to tell the time at
night. He has ascertained that every
animal keeps regular hours for row.
ing around the boat in the dark
Of course. it isn't really dark, for
the lightning bugs and the glow
worms manage to illuminate things
pretty well. Some Of the day ami
mails complain that il keeps them
awake to have the tigers, lions,
wolves, deer, skunks, and the like
roaming around and talking 10 eacn
other at all hours or the night andf
playing tricks on the ones who want
TO sleep. Pop is going 10 rearrange
their apartments and make all the
nocturnal creatures stay together, but
as there are lots who never keep any
regular hours at all. like the rabbits,
the foxes and the elephants, for in
stance. 7 don't see how he viii man
age fl. The hyena has a bad habit
of sitting up ard singing 10 his wife
AT two in the morning, but he says
that is not half as unpleasant as
listening 10 the buffalo snoring he
told me that his wife mad grown So
nervous owing 10 the startling noises
made by the buffalo when he is
sound asleep that she no longer eats.
She thinks the buffalo is going 10
choke to death some night, but Mrs.
Buffalo said:
IF she had listened TO that snor-
ing and stTangling for twenJy-nlne
years as I have she wouldn't worry
I can stand that. but it would take
a cast iron constitution 10 stand the
singing Of Mr. Hyena. The real
trouble is that We are too crowded,
If you want the facts"
Nobody crowding US remarked
the porcupine.
No. nor US" remarked the skunk.
But on the other hand We don't
seem to get any invitations 10 come
and sit in the cabin like some Of
you,"
Some animals, like people. have no
sense. The llama was feeling bad
today and Ma gave him q dose of
Number Is out of the medicine chest.
Then she got to thinking and began
TO worry. Says she. Suppose one
of US gets sick during the voyage.
What ever shall We do with no
chance of getting a doctoT?'
Pop says: Haven { you ever heard
the old prOveTb that mans eithers
a physician o. a fool at four hun
dred! ] guess ! can handle almost
anything that's likely to get aboard
1 dosed myself from everything from
the measles TO pneumonia"
'Japheth has never had the
measles yet" cried Ma; Nor the
mumps either"
Nor yet the appendicitis. says
Pop. "Tain't necessary TO have any
of 'emi Grandpa Methuselah lived
TO be nine hundred and siXty-nine
and he never had the measles nor
even the dyspepsia, but after all, he
never had TO eat any OF these patent
foods that look like rOpe-endi
"That reminds me-" says Ham. Il
most forgot to tell you that the
brindled gnu ate up the whisk
broom thinking it was some new
kind of breakfast food
Don't blame him a bit" replied
Pop. That's another thing this
food will dispose of, All the lum-
Der mills that were turning out
Breakfast Cartridges and Artificial
F'ishbalIs' and Whole Wheat Slab
let's are under water already and 1t
will be a long time before anybody
starts that industry up again unless,
maybe, the recipes for making them
are In the cook book Of Cousin
Milcah's that Ma saved.
NO" says Ma; There's nothing
about them and, also, there's no
recipe for making plug tobacco nor
cocktails. either
Pop looked sortrO' blank and then
said:
Hum. Wei. that viii come round
all right. They are natural products
and the way to make them would
soon be found in any sensible COM
munity"
That's the benefit Of books" said
Shem Some things come natural
ly. but when you want to make a
good horse liniment or a first class
shaving soap or the like. you've got
to get exact scientific information"
Just then we heard a yell and
Bilhah came running into the cabin
for Ham. The elephant had gone
into their cabin and wanted TO lie
down on the bed. She whacked him
with broom, but he laughed at her
When Pop and I followed Ham
down we found that the elephant had
turned cross and was looking very
wicked. Ham didn't know how to
tackle him. never realized before
just how big the elephant Isl Ham
thought a minute and then says:
What are you doing here2"
Just wanted a change" said the
elephant. Its cool here and more