davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
oLD GOVERNMENT cLERKs
Few If Any Are Turned Of by
Heads Of Departments Be-
cause Of Age.

Much of the thought tina. used to DO
given to a consideration of what to do
with our boys has been transferred
to the problem Of the old men. What
is to be done with a man after he
reaches the age of 70 years? asks
Youths Companion.
III the stone age, and among saw.
ages in mere recent times, the ques.
ton was answered by ~disposing Of him
in & mode which was the reverse of
sympathetic and humane. We cannot
revert to that system. Indeed, the diff
iculty to-day is, in the opinion of many
persons, that we are too sympathetic.
Take the case of the clerks in the de-
partments at Washington. The law di-
reefs the secretaries to discharge them
when they become incapacitated, but
the law is not obeyed. So kindly dis
posed are people in these latter days
that few If any old men are turned off.
AS a congressman said recently, in dis
cussing the condition: Under the op-
Grafton of the civil service regulation,
Wit. Its wide-open door at the entrance
NA1At - nU bAAtl UuAltAs tAtEDN lt6lA-
nation, than a door wide enough to
let II coffin through"
Under the old spoils system, when.
ever there was a change of admins.
tration the president was accustomed
to turn the rascals out There was a
general removal of officers. and the
newcomers made a pretty clean sweep
of clerks. Now, although we are told
that the government service ought not
to suffer by being made an asylum for
those who are no longer able to do all
that is reasonably required Of them,
TIE old men stay, and every one re.
grets that it seem %eXpedient even to
consider what shall be done with them.
How to promote government eff
cheney without working hardship and
doing violence to every kindly human
sentiment is the problem with which
congress is now struggling. All sorts
Of remedies have been suggested, such
as summary dismissal at the age of
70, a pension system, and a progressive
reduction in salary, beginning at 60
and growing less as the usefulness of
the clerk diminishes. No one has seri-
ously urged going back to the spoils
system.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
WHITE HOUSE RAT HUNT.
Work Of Ferrets in the S-uLterrarean
Passages Unsatisfactory
to Maids.

There was a rat hunt at the White
House one night lately. Three ferret5
owned by g professional rat catcher
spent several hours shopping around
IN the subterranean passages OF the
ancient mansions basement. and when
the quest was over brought ou- six
medium-sized rodents, which were
gwen to Jack and Slippers. Jack 90
the little black and tan dog that
chums with Archie and Quentin when
ever they are about, and Slippers Is
the six-toed cat which for the last
three years has been one of the most
important features of the White House
ZOO
The rat hunt, says the New York
Tribune, was not voted a success. Ac-
cording to accounts Of tlmorous maids
and superstitious cooks there are at
least 10000 rats in the White House
basement. They are said to be Of all
coiors and sizes. A number Of grand
father and great grandfather rats
down there are, the maids say, very
nearly as large as Algonquin, the
calico pony which Quentin rides. and
as they have apparently attended diff
ferent musical schools their squeaking
at times becomes nearly unbearable.
Finally Steward Henry Pinckney de,
cided that a desperate remedy was
needed, so sent for a man who adver-
tises his ability to clean OUT objec-
tionable %boarders.
The expert came up to inspect the
premises, looked wise. and said he
would bring his ferrets on Friday
night and settle the rat question. He
probably did his best, and so did the
little %ferrets, but it appears that they
failed to reckon with the preternatural
wisdom of the White House rats.
These old gray residents have not
been living in the historic mansion all
these years for nothing. The wisdom
emanating from the heads of succeed
ing administrations perhaps soaked
through the walls and was imbibed by
the rats. The s|trategetical shrewd-
ness of great military commanders evil
IDENTIFY became theirs, for they con-
structed numerous secret tunnels, and
hidden entrances and exits for just
the kind of an assault that was made
on their quarters the other night. Be
fore beginning his raid upon the rats
the ferret man closed up all the Wis.,
ible holes but two-the one by which
the sharp-nosed little rat catchers
were to enter and the one which the
rats were supposed to make for when
the pursuit grew hot. But the calcula-
ton left out the secret entrances and
exits, and so nearly all the big rats
got away.
But there was a great deal of excite
ment on tap while the hunt lasted.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
Mental Pole and Health.

People who reach extreme old age
are, as a rule, pretty well balanced,
physically and mentally. A poised life
is serene, and serenity and harmony
tent to longevity. The mind tina. is
not well balanced is constantly jan
gled and out of tune, truly says o. S.
Ma9den in Success Magazine. There is
a constant Earring which racks the
whole human machinery. There is
discord in an unbalanced life, and dis
cord is always destructive-deadly
The well-poised, dignihed life is not
thrown off its center quickly. The
man who goes all to pieces e trifles
is one-sided. There is a momentum
in a poised, balanced nature which
steadies its progress and helps hold it
on its chosen track. Hot temper, con-
slant mental confusion and disorder
are vitality s.--life-shorteners
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
NO TWO HATS EVER ALIKE
Made by Machinery or by Hard
There Is Sure 70 BE a
Difference.

There are no two things alike IA
this world-no two atoms alike, 10
two blades Of grass alike, no two.
peas alike, no two faces alike, wol-
derful-most wonderful of all-no two.
ladies' hats alikei Has this thought
ever been impressed upon you while
sitting in an assemblage of wome.,?
Oh, the wisdom and forethought VI
nature, for were each woman to have
a hat similar to her neighbours what
an infinite variety of additional woes
and h%eartaches and tears the human
race would have had to bearl
And, yet, Mathew Softleigh, bon
and bred in New York, says the Sun,
knew naught of this. His tender brain
could not conceive the fact that ever y
thing in this world is infinite in It's
revolutions and ramiications, part,c-
ularly ladies' hats, so Matthew backed
his poor judgment with real money
and made a wager with his friend
Silas Cute, that he would soon find
him two hats that were alike.
Matthew and Silas selected a warm
spring day and they walked up and
down the great White Way, they
promenaded Fifth avenue, they visit
ed the parks, they strolled to the east
side, the west side and every other
side, they visited the theaters, the
concert halls, the churches; from day
to day the quest continued until bo:h
were weary and f~ootsore. They saw
fnghar,rru nfof,,ro hafg eoflnrd
hats of straw, hats of felt, hats with
ribbons, hats with feathers, hats with
aigrettes, but no two hats alike. They
saw dreams of red and blue and greer,
as well as nightmares and incubi Ct
Arabian Nights phantasy. There was
poetry and prose, music and flowers
typifed in every one, but nc two
alikel What ingenuity they repre-
scented, what ceaseless brain activity,
what thought, what feeling, what deli
cacy in some, which if put into a
poem or a symphony would earn him
or her a place in the Hall of Fame!
Matthew lost his bet, and it is well
that he did. There should be no two
hats alike, there are no two hats
alike and there never will be two
hats alike. Nature, like woman, is
feminine; she has a variety of moods,
of expression, of beauty, of color, Of
form and figure, and a woman's hat is
the embodiment, the epitome of her
every thought, her every wish, her
every desire. Not one woman is like
another; neither can her hat be. And
when the time comes that two has
are found alike then will genius have
reached its limit and the world VIII
have lost all it's beauty and all that
makes life worth living.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
1T HAPPENED IN JERSEY
There Was One Man Who Didn't Know
About the San Francisco
Earthquake.

Not all the world knew of the San
Francisco earthquake. Within the
range of vision one. has from the top
of the Fiatiron building there was dis
covered the Jther day complete igno-
rance of the calamity, says the New
York Sun.
The discovery came as a joke to
some literary folk who live the sim
pie but busy life in a cottage among
the New Jersey hills an hours ride
from New York. With the rural free
delivery bringing the city paper on the
day of issue they keep in touch with
the outer world, and it was only the
morning after it occurred that they
learned of the earthquake and fire.
The nearest habitation to the cot
tage is a farmhouse whence daily Wis
its are made for the purchase of milk.
During the visit of Wednesday, the
day of the earthquake, none Of the
farmers family, all gossips Of the
usual bucolic type, mentioned San
Francisco at all. On Thursday night,
the visitor, while waiting for the milk
pail to be filled, remarked, apropos of
a threatening sky, that she hoped
there might be rain in San Francisco,
too.
Why" asked the farmer, don't
they have rain out there 70
Amazed that anyone should not
know about it, the visitor told in a
rush of excited words of the blow that
had fallen on the Pacific coast city.
The farmer stopped milking to listen
open mouthed.
burned If l heerd a word about 1t, "
he drawled, when the visitor conclud-
ed. you see, l hain't been daown to
the village sense Monday. an don't do
much readin' here. The Boonville pa
per comes every week, but Samanthy's
eyes hez been so bad lately guess she
hadn't read the last copy"
The next evening the visitor brought,
besides the milk pail, a bundle of New
York papers.
"Now," she said to the farmers wife,
you can read all about the earth
quake in San Francisco"
Lands sakel" cried Samantha,
was it San Francisco? Silas said it
was CINCINNATI
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
INSECTS.
ANTS ARE NOT so WISE AS
THEY ARE CLEAN.
colomon's Advice to the sluggard Is
D%isparaged by German scien-
tist-Faots Of In
terest.

According to DR.. Escherich, a
learned entomologist of Strasburg uni
versity, Solomon erred in commend
ing the ant to the sluggard as a shin
ing example of wisdom and industry.
The German savant thinks Solomon
would have better justified his claim
&c be regarded as the wisest man that
ver lived had he exolled the ant as
an exponent of cleanliness. He has
just published the results of an ex-
haustive study of these wonderful in
sCcts. He combats the views of those
Investigators who assign to them al
most human intelligence. But as ex-
ponents of that virtue which stands
next to goodness he maintains that
ants stand prominent, and if the hui
man rae would pattern after them in
this respect half the diseases on
which doctors thrive would vanish.
Ants, he declares, abhor dlrt in any
form about their bodies. Nature has
provided them with implements that
serve the same purpose as combs and
brushes in the hands of civilized
AOAhs anu lAlIg AldhG AdA lnOAt NhGGAANC
use of them. They are too busy
to clean themselves. No job is so i'm
portant to an mi that he won't knock
off work to clean himself. He does
not wait until his days labors are fin
ished to perform his additions. He
is never too tired to lend another ant
a ~hand-or, rather, a leg-to effect a
thorough securing. He will toledate
loafng occasionally, for the profess
sor asserts it is a mistake to suppose
that ants are eyerlastingly hunting up
jobs, but he won't put up with dirty
neighbors. Cleanliness is the supreme
law of the community.
But the professor rather detracts
from the credit one would otherwise
be disposed to give them for the prac-
tice of this most exemplary virtue by
telling us that ants are driven to it
by the conditions of their existence.
without the most scrupulous cleanll-
ness" he says, they could not recog-
nize each other nor communicate
anything. The cohesion of the indi-
vidual with its fellows is maintained
solely through the medium of the
sense of smell. If the ant is covered
with dust the possibility of its being
recognized is diminished to an extra
ordinary degree. The a%ntennae in
particular must always be kept clean,
for it is only with their aid that the
ant remains in close communication
with its tribe"
1t is their highly developed ems of
cleanliness, the professor says, which
also explains the ants funerals"
about which so much has been writ
ten. Ants, it is well known, carry
their dead to definite burial places,
where they arrange them in most
careful order. The little creatures
do not, however, do this with the OBJ
ject of providing their dead comrades
with the last resting place" DR.. Es-
cherich states; they merely obey
the instinct of cleanliness which i'm
pels them to remove all refuse from
the nest and carry it away to a def
mite spot"
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19

1t seems especially incredible that a
strong, sturdy, self-made man, who
has had to fight his way up from pow
erty, and who feels the backacho in
every dollar he has earned, should let
his savings slip through his fingers in
the most foolish investments, with
scarcely any investigation, often send
ing his money thousands of miles away
to people he has never seen and about
whom he knows practically nothing,
except through an advertisement which
has attracked his attention, or through
the wiles of some smooth, unprinci-
ipled promoter.-Success
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
CONCERNING CLOCKS.

Never allow the clock to run down.
1t responds to regular attention just
as surely as a human being does and
keeps its course truly when made to
follow its endless routine.
The hands of a clock should always
be turned forward. To set the hands
by reversing the right-hand motion is
to loosen delicate screws that hold
them within reach of various cog
slips.
Never allow the clock to be moved
from the position where it is well bal
anced. A deviation of two or three
minutes a day from the correct time
may be the result of an uneven
placing Of the clock, and once it is
properly adjusted it should not be
shifted for busting or for artistic pur-
poses, This is especially true of
clocks that have a pedulum.
Even a good fellow may reform.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19

A London scientist says that life in
a metropolis makes young children
sharp but not clever; that it often de-
stroys their chance of ever being
clever, for it hastens the development
of the brain un~naturally; it makes
them superficial, alert, but not OBJ
servant; excitable, but without one
spark of enthusiasm; they are apt to
grow blase, tickle, disconnected; they
see more things from the country-bred
child, but no such interesting things;
they do not properly see anything, for
they have neither the time nor ca
pacity to get at the root of all the be-
wildering objects that crowd them
selves into their little lives. There is
o chan a grain of truth in this as
sertion.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
snnnzed

While the house was in the throes
of heated debate over the merits of a
bill granting water power rights to a
California power company in the San
Bernardino valley Congressman Crum-
packer, of Indiana, slept in peace. His
genial, rotund countenance, turned up
ward, presented a picture of perfect
coptentment, Mr.. Smith, of California,
had the floor and was vehemently de-
claring that the measure under con
sideration had the sanction of the ag-
riculture and interior departments. On
the other hand, Mr.. Nary, Of Massa-
chusetts, his face flushed, angrily
shouted that it was a steal" The de-
bate grew hotter and hard things were
said. Orators to the right of him, ora
tors to the left Of him, volleyed and
Numbered, but Crumpacker snoozed.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
Commitment Cor Enelish.

Chinese Commissioner Shang Chi
Heng before leaving England for
France recently paid the British quite
a compliment in a farewell interview.
He said: what has chiefly impressed
me is the dignity and solidity of your
nation. There is a compactness Of
spirit and conservatism which in spite
of any political differences keeps the
race well together. You remind me Of
the Chinese in this respect"
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
ENTIRE CANON FOR CHURCH
Religious Rights and observances of
the Hopi Indians of Grand
Canon.

The Paradise or Spirit House of the
Hopi is in Grand Canon, and there Is
sent, during certain important cere-
monies, a messenger priest who makes
a votive deposit in the shrine erected
there, tenders a prayer offering of sa.
cred cornmeal to the rising sun and
carries back with him certain waters
and herbs for use in further rites,
writes Louis Akin, in the Craftsman.
Shrines are everywhere in the vicini-
ty of Hopi towns. Some are shrines
to distant mountains, rivers, the
ocean, some to prehistoric or tradi-
tional homes of ancestors or clans,
and in nearly every field is some man
ner of shrine in which to deposit es-
pecial prayer offerings prepared by
the priests for the purpose, which the
fortunate n proudly carry to the
fields with perfect confidence in their
efficacy. The indoor religious cere-
monies are held in underground
chambers known as kivas, of which
there are IA in Oraibi. Each man be-
longs to some n of the fraternities
occupying these kivas.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19

Don Powers, one of Names leading
lawyers, was at one time defending
some men who had beer charged with
assault and battery. The case was be.
ing tried before Judge Peters in
Bangor. The strength of Mr.. Powers
argument was SO great that although
the accused were thought guilty by
nearly every one present the jury re-
turned a verdict OF not guilty. After
the acquittal of the men the judge,
who had been impressed by the T g
ment, said; Brother Powers, there is
no doubt as to the man getting a beat
ing, but who do you think did it?"
Your honor" replied Mr.. Powers, II
always thought my clients did until
the jury said they didn't"
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
Fxploitation al the Wert.

Exploitation Of the West,
Five years ago we who lived in the
far west were wondering when the
marvellous resources OF our one-third
of the United States would be discov-
cred and exploited. To-day, says a
writer in The Reader, we awaken to
lind our forests stripped, the places
where we pitched our tents, built our
smudges and fried our bacon and game
made desolate by the steam saw and
the freight car. The rivers wnere we
speared our salmon and the rushing
waters Of the northwest where we cast
our seine have been made to fill the
labeled tins of highly capitalized syn
d%icates, until the preservation Of the
"sock-eye," the most delicious of all
salmon, has become the subject of in
terstats conference. The immense
plains, whose phenomenal productive
ity made legends of "Mussel
Sloughs' and our "Yuba Dams" are
being turned into irrigated plaisances,
into troley-strewn highways, into the
dense social conditions of Ohio, Iowa
and Illinois.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
Generous Suggestion.

There was some dispute between
Republicans and Democrats in the ma
tional house Of representatives a few
days ago as to the time to be given
each side in debate over a certain
measure. Some n proposed that adj
iournment be postponed, whereupon
Mr.. Grosvenor, Of Ohio, suggested:
Let them talk TIL half past three.
That will give them time to see the
hrst inning at the baseball grounds"
And everybody eagerly welcomed the
suggestion.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19

Prof. William Lyon Phelps, OF Yale,
returned recently from a trip abroad
on a steamer too crowded for comfort
On the ship with him was a Harvard
. professor who was not at all pleased
with the conditions aboard. The third
morning out, the Harvard professor
learned that a woman in the crowded
~second-class cabin had given birth to
a child the night previous. At break
fast he impaired the news to Prof.
Phelps. Good work, doctorl Good
work." chuckled the wit Of Yale; "an-
other berth in the second cabin"
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
Nnistrict Donbtfnl., .,

Congressman Graf, the stalwart Re-
publican from Peoria. blossomed out
the other day in a soft gray hat. One
Of his colleagues, meeting him, looked
askance at It and said: what are you
wearing that Democratic hat for2 +
thought you were a Republican"
Have to-" said Gran. laconically.
Districts doubtful"
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
Detective Story.

With unerring accuracy he fastened
the crime on the beautiful oma
"Aha!" he cried, as he wiped his
brow and closed the last loophole.
For then did Jones thankfully real
ize that he had his wife's waist but
toned all the way up the back.-N. Y.
Sun.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
VARYING Conditions.

what sort Of a nan Is Jinks?"
THE impression you get Of links
depends on the circumstances under
which you meet him. If you're there
- collect money, you won't like him,
but Il you're there to pay money he
seems lovely character Washing
tor Star.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
Kseping from Close Range.

why are you not at school?" stern
ly inquired the parent, meeting his
son in the street.
The lad was not much embarrassed.
"Fact is, dad" he responded,
there's something the matter with
the teachers temper, and I'm giving
it absent treatmentl"-Modern So
ciety.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19

Speaker Cannon and about half the
members of the house went down the
Potomac river to a planked shad par
ty. They organized a ball game and
put Uncle Joe in as umpire. He was
spry as a cat and made some mar
velous decisions. His star performance
was when Gen. George Harries, having
made a home run, started round the
bases "a second time. You're Quit"
shouted Uncle Joe. "WhyV demanded
Harries. Il am entitled to run until
they find the ball" Not at all" the
umpire said firmly, your time has
expired.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1906-07-19
Preliminary Profit.

Mrs. Glub-dub-Did your daughter
marry well2
Mrs. Flim-Flam-Yes, indeed; she
had a trip all over Europe before the
diVOrce.-Life.