The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1906-05-10

The notice liz gave us was short liz
deed. We had published the fact that
George Washington never swore. Hap
by Jim" rode into town and took issue
with Us. The way lie took issue was
to kick our door open and begin shoot
iG@. lie nicked Us in the shoulder and
scratched Us in the side before he real
lied what sort of a crop he was raising,
and five minutes later he was flying
around in another land, name not eX-
actly known. Se seemed to be io-
vial cusS, smiling as he fired away.
and we often wish that he could have
been spared to edit our humorous de
partment.
No. 10.-We We're riding out toward
Dog Creek one summers day and
feeling at peace with all mankind.
when we met "Chaw 'Em-Up Pete" He
was on his way to town TO pay us u
visit and deny point blank that whale
ever swallowed Jonah. He began to
whoop and shoot as soon as he saw us.
giving us no time for explanations. and
he fell before our second bullet like Il
green bay tree.
No. 1l.-This gentleman was Colonel
Short He borrowed $40 of us for
half an hour, and when year and
half had elapsed and we called his at
tention to the little matter he persist
ed that we doubted his honor We
finally acknowledged we did, and,
thinking that our guns We're at the
81, To In No 70,
away. We saw Il surprised expressions
on his face as he fitted away into the
unknown. We hope that he is with the
angels. If lie is they want to look out
how they lend him any cash.
No. 12.-ThiS incident took place in a
thunderstorm and at night. We were
looking out of our bedroom window in
the Kicker Office at the display of the
elements when some one fired on us
in the darkness. We grabbed Il gun
and fired back. Next morning a
stranger was found dead Jon the street
He has never been identified and is
down on our list as Thunderstorm
Harry"
No. 13.-Just common plug of
critter, who differed with us as to
how to run paper. There would have
been no shooting and no funeral if he
hadn't begun operations. His name
was found to be Rocky Mountain
jim"
No. l4.-Under this headstone repoSes
all that is mortal of Captain Joe Tay-
lor. lie visited the Office and wanted
us to come out strong for war with
Mexico. We didn't favor the idea, and
Captain Joe called Us coward and
got to work with his guns. His inten-
tons We're good, but his shooting poor.
Only Il few days ago his widow stood
hand in hand with us as we bent over
his grave
No. 15.-ThiS critteT wanted to shoot
us to let the people of Giyeadam Gulch
know that he was Il terror from the
head waters of Fighting creek He
wounded us in the shoulder, but we
have planted sunfowers on his grave
and forgiven him.
No. lG.-AnOther nameIess critter of
whom we have no record We merely
remember that he shot first and that
there were eight carriages in his fu-
neral procession.
No. Il. This sleeper was around
town for a week or more before he
took his final flight He got hold of an
issue Of the Kicker in which we stated
that all red headed women had big
feet, and he took umbragc at the item
and came calling. We tried to laugh
him out, but lie insisted that the cold.
silent grave was the fitting abode for
us and tried to send us there The
coroncr'S jury was only minute ac
quitting us. His name was found to
be Butcher Knife jim" but the VIC
lets blossom on his grave just as
sWeetly for all that, and many an even
ing we have sat on the mound above
him and felt so peaceful and good to-
ward all the world that Chinaman
could have knocked our hat off and got
clean away from the toe of our boot.
VI. QUAD.