The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-18

ing here to England is that every Amer
lean, no matter how old he may be or
how often he has assisted at the massa-
ere of the mother tongue. may begin to
get a correct line on the genuine English
speech. A few Americans, say fifty or
more in Boston and several in New York,
are said to speak English in spots. Very
often they fan, but sometimes they hit
the ball BY patient endesvor they have
mastered the sound of "a" as in father"
but they continue to call a clerk a clerk,
instead of a clark" and they never have
gained the courage to say 'leftenant.
They wander on the suburbs of the En-
gish language, nibbling at the edges, as
1t were Any one living west of Pitts
burg is still lost in the desert.
1t is only when the Pilgrim comes right
here to the fountain head of the haucer-
ian language that he can drink deep and
revive his parched intellect. For three
days l have been camping here at the
headwaters of English. Although this is
my fourth visit to London and / have
taken a thorough course at the music
halls and conversed with some of the
most prominent shopkeepers on or in the
Strand. to say nothing of having chatted
almost in a spirit of democratic equality
with some of the most representative
walters, | still feel as If | were little
child playing by the seashore while the
great ocean of British idioms lies undis-
covered before me.
Yesterday. however, had the rare and
almost delirious pleasure of meeting an
upper class Englishman. He has family,
social position. wealth, several capital
letters trailing after his name (Which Is
long enough without an appendix, an
ancestry, a glorious past and possibly a
future. Usually an American has to wait
In aftrIt or before he
meets an Englishman who is not trying
10 sell him dress shirts or something to
put on his hair In two short days-prac-
toally at one bound-I had realized the
full ambition of my countrymen.
Before being presented to the heavy
swell | was taken into the chamber Of
meditation by the American who was to
accompany me on this flight to glory.
He prepared me for the ceremony by
whispering to me that the chap we were
about TO meet went everywhere and saw
everybody that he was varsity man
and had shot big game and had place
up country and couldn't remember the
names of all his clubs--had to hire a man
by the year just to remember the names
of his clubs.
May I confess that | was immensely
fiattered to know that / could meet this
important person? When we are at long
icHSt VIC lllIOW bflChS At TIE dliSioNioNS
and landed gentry but when we come
close to them we tremble violently and
are much pleased if they differentiate us
from the furniture of the ROOM
Why not tell the truth for once?
was tickled and overheated with bliss TO
know that this social lion was quite will
ing to sit alongside of eNand breathe
the adjacent atmosphere.
Also | was perturbed and stage fright
ened because l knew that spoke nothing
but the American language, and that
PROBABLY I used my nose instead of my
vocal chords in giving expression to such
thoughts as might escape from me. Fur
thermore, l was afraid that during our
conversation | might accidentally lapse
into slang. and | knew that In Great
Britain slang is abhorred above every
other earthly thing except goods of Ger
man manufacture. SO I resolved to be
or my guard and try to come as near to
English speech as it is possible for any
one TO come after he has walked up and
down State street for ten years.
My real and Interior motive in welcom-
ing this interview with a registered En-
glishman was to get, free of charge. an
allopathc dose of twenty-four carat En-
glish. I wanted to baslx in the bright light
of an intellect that had no fckers IN It