Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-02-18
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS


IL, this column viii be answered all questions
Of a proper nature submitted 20 The Star. H.
cairers should write side OF the paper only
office. In OF difficult conundFums answers may
be delayed for a week or two Consequently it
column carefuliy.l
CASUAL.--If you saw a man beating his
wife. what would you doy A Representative
Stanley OF Kentucky I'm answering that
question on the floor OF the House the other
day remarked that Il would depend some
what on the woman and great deal on the
man. Us for Rep Stan.
ELIZABETH.-what is the proper way to
make out a check? A. Baggage. bank, res
taurant. rein or mate? Come again. Liz.
STATIsTICAL.-How many steps are
there on the east front of the Capitol? A.
The last time came down were too
preoccupied to count. A banana peel Is a
treacherous thing.
ALGERNON.-The other night I was sit
ting in the moonlight with a girl and saw g.
shooting star. She paid the forfeit. lit
tie while later there were too many shoot
ing stars TO count. What should / have
done? A. Instructions follow by sealed en-
velope. You're a lucky devil Algy
TRANsCoNTINENTALA IS the
difference between seasickness and NAL de
costa and Connecticut avenue.
INFoRMED.-A friend tells me that the
free silver issue Will be heard from again.
What do YOU think? A. Your friend Is a
spiritualist. We never did take much stock
in slate writing or similar manifestations.
COUCH-Kindly tell me how to ride a
horse? A. We are not competing with the
correspondence schools, but here goes Tor
once. Grasp the animal firmly between the
knees clutch the filler and ring two bells.
If haste is essential prod the horse some
where with a hat pin or other pointed IN
strument. Ring one bell to slow down. Stop
when the animal does or you may regret
IL. A beginner should not be stubborn.
When the ride is over release the animal
and use witch hazel freely.
DoNALD-what shall I do II am Ger
tain a dog is about to bite me2 A. Pray
that his paws will be long enough to let
you escape. Bum grammar, but a dinged
fine joke. Eh, Donnie?
DENGUE.-Is Cinchona bark good for the
chills2 A. Another species of bark gave
the chils once. We Were not on our own
premises at the time. Stmilia similibus GU
rantur.
NORTHEAST-Pleas give me a brief
resume of the news features Of the past
week at the Capitol. 4. Bourke Cochran IS
still a democrat John Wesley Gaines OF
Tennessee kept his face closed for nine
consecutive moments last week Represen-
tative Dalzell of Pennsylvania is working
on a new invention-an automatic, switch
throwing. bell-ringing resolution wrecker.
MAJORIE.-Kindly give me a recipe for
fudge. A. Sure. Take cup of white sugar.
a large hunk of chocolate. piece of butter
the size of fried egg and a gallon of milk.
Mingle and simmer. When the mess has
attained the consistency of turtle soup add
a pound and a half Of vanilla beans and an
ounce of gum arabic. Turn into a pan. dust
sFa1a CHI m
serve.
wOODwORTH.-I 1t proper to wear the
pa lama Jacket inside outside the trous-
ers? A. For informal and stag affairs the
Jacket may be worn inside, but this Is con-
sdered bad form for dinners, receptions
and the Ike. You're a formal thing
Woodie.
FLORENCE.-Can you tell me whether
there is Masonic Lodge in Washington
that meets Mondays, Wednesdays, Thurs
days and Saturdays2 a. You must excuse
us. Flo. We are married
CHEVY CHASE-Where can get some
good fresh buttermilk? A. You might see
Secretary OF Agriculture Wilson. His de-
partment has just imported a flock of
goats.
HEMP.-Last Tuesday night | waited for
a car on the corner of Connecticut avenue
and NJ street for two hours. What was the
with the schedule. That line runs at iTreg-
ular intervals on Tuesdays, Thursdays
Wednesdays and Saturdays.
MISCELLA NEOUS.-Are any members Of
the House OF Representatives distinguished
as authors? A. Dalzell of Pennsylvania is
literary genius. THE Runaway Resolu-
ton, or Asleep at the Switch" Is the title
of his latest thriller. Cloth, SIPS; paper,
IS cents. s yo.
CARL.-The other day a man ! never saw
before came I'm the office and borrowed a
hundred-dollar bill. lie said he wanted to
take around the corner for r minute to
prove to a friend that 1t was yellow on the
back. He hasn't come back. What shall
l do y. Please send us your address. We'd
love TO know you better.
PHYSICAL-What are the effects of Gig
arettes upon the human system? A. SIM
ply frightful We began smoking at the
early age of three, and consequently We
are only six feet four inches I'm height.
There IS no telling what might have been
the side show possibilities IL We had fol-
lowed mothers advice.
UNCLE JASPER.
1T THE iDUQUu