Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-17

Mr.. and Mrs. Theo. Calvin and
daughter Telah, are spending the
week in Bloomington.
Telephones are rapidly coming
into use in China. Tough on
! 'phones, making 'em talk Chinee,
Misses Anna and Ella E. Cream
of Chicago, are visiting the Misses
Sarah and Nellie McGranaLan.
They expect to remain two weeks.
f. c. Burr, advance agent for
the Frank E. Long company, joined
the show at Whitewater Monday
after a 2-weeks' lay-off on account
of indlsposition.
Joe McCoy's PAGER Elizabeth IS
home for the season with no record.
She started in nine races. won i've
second moneys, three thirds, and
was fourth once; paced twenty nine
heats in race and finished second
twenty-five times; never started IN
a smaller field than four horses;
was timed separately in a race on
one-half track in 2:189 and half in
1:O5I; stepped half at Dubuque
in a work out IN 1:O49 and quarter
in 81 seconds. She is years old
and her races indicate that she is
good green PAGER.
IT is SAID that three of the
stingiest men in the state were In
town yesterday. One of them will
not drink as much water as he
wants unless it be from another
mans well. The second torbids any
of his family writing anything but
''small hand" as it is a waste OF ink
to make large letters. The third
stops his clock at night to save
wear and tear on the machinery.
i All of them decline to take their
county paper on the ground that it
is a terrible strain on their spectacles
to read newspapers, even in the day
time.
The advocates of phonetic
spelling may be interested In know
ing that Uncle Sam has it already
in a portion of his domain. The
Hawaiian is a phonetic language
based upon the continental pro-
nunciation of its vowels. !. 1t is
beautifully simple, as we all know
from wrestling with the name OF
the former queen, easy to spell and
easy to pronounce. From a list OF
common" words printed in the Of
fetal program of the outing OF the
Southern California Editorial as
ISOLATION we learn that the word for
editor is ''lunahooponopono," from
which you may judge what a big
man the editor is in those blessed
isles. Just imagine what COLOSSUS
would be if the word were spelled
according to our antiquated, COM
plicated circumlocutory method!
Great is the phonetic system!
Two well-known Lancaster
young ladies hired a horse and
buggy at livery stable few days
ago to drive out into the country.
Before they started they asked if
the horse was safe. The liveryman
said He's alright unless the rein
gets on his tail" A few miles out
in the country a shower came up
and the ladies stopped and got out
and held an umbrella over the
horse. A gentlemen driving by
asked them what the trouble was,
to which one replied: Il am try
ing to keep the rain off from his
TAIL"
We don't know his name, Oc-
cupation or from whence he came,
but we do know that he was a
gentlemen, a man with a mother
that he loved and respected; per-
haps he had wife and sister, if so
they were fortunate. He was sit
ting n a crowded car. An old lady,
with a faded sunbonnet and bas-
ket, got on the car at the door be-
hind him, at one of the country
stations walked slowly up the aisle
looking a little wistfully to the right
and left. She passed this mans
seat. He looked up at her quickly,
glanced up and down the car, saw
no vacant seat and Immediately rose
up, touched the old lady on the arm
and said: Here's a vacant seat,
mother" The old lady looked at
the strong young fellow and said:
THANK you, dear, but that is your
seat, isn't it" ''Oh, no." was the
reply. The seat belongs to the rail
road company and they sold you
the right to sit in it. l have been
sitting a long time, and need to