The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-06-03
EBORNS MHRKET REPORT IND REILLY QUOTATIONS


The market for the week ending yes
terday. Saturday, June .. has not been
marked with an equal amount of gem
eral trading as the preceding week. 1t is
firm it could not be otherwise with the
"lid-holdersf In charge,
The real estate teapot has been scizzing
and bubbling to little purpose, with many
owners sitting firmly on the lid de-
termined to bottle up her hidden forces,
the "featherweights' only Tightening up
enough to permit the aforesaid winsome
little Kettle to bubble over some-whatly
al times, and make attractive music Tor
the small traders, while the heaVy-
weights are inclined to hold the lid down
tight, until possibly the pesky thing uhe
kettle) gets too warm to make even the
most stauneh and laundering. careless
holders feel comfortable, when the effects
OF over-tightening shall begin to show its
evil effects IN restraint of trade, bottling
up of improvements and enterprise, while
these CRITTERS settle down TO the placid
resignation that lots with greasy lunch
stands and dusty wares, holes in the wall,
In most cases held at many thousands of
dollars. and in some instances not offered
at any price, yet paying nothing adequate
on its fancied value, are to remain eye
sores to a long suffering city, because of
the chronic dust clinchers," whose shin
ing virtues under the unfailing laws of
nature and evolution have developed into
the aforesaid chronic "lid-holders."
We do really enjoy seeing and hearing
these delightful specimens crate on the
marvellous beauties and possibilities of
these wonderful few square feet of earth,
decorated with breakfast bacon, bologna
sausage and dried herring stands, fried
fish, smoke and all, thrown in and bound
together in one lovely wordy boquet,
g4- III mats md
sensitive plants, and a goodly mixture of
jimson and hog weed to match, thrust
ruthlessly upon the helpless, casual in
quirer (after their real healthy, who hap
pens to ask them If they would sell.
We believe with proper limitations) in
the doctrine of evolution" within reas-
enable bounds, where 1t does not conflict
with advancing civilization or with
sound Christian growth, faith and teach
ing; but when evolution" becomes stag
nant in character, and ceases to "evo-
Lutte any further, and when the murky
old pond Chat generates all sorts of
"critters) declines to permit the little
ta6poles to dispense with their useless APP
pendages, and become nice little toads
that can shout real, long and loud; or to
allow the little toads to become great,
big grown, base-yoiced, long shanked
bull frogs: and these bullfrogs to disap-
pear among the murky waters and climb
up in a dignified CD manner, step by step,
to higher and loftier planes of evoluted
existence, until in the fullness of time
the forefathers of Jocco. and his cousins,
having found somewhere in the jungles
the slong-lost missing link, and having
the once unstable 'wiggle" replaced by a
real, sturdy and useful % apparatus,
from which whole tribes dangled from the
trees of the forests in one united, wild
and exultant shout of Eureka until
fn
with our modern dirt clinchers,' and the
whole tribe, shocked and terrified, scamp
er off back to the forests, content to live
and die a monkey, rather than be a mere
notch on err stick, or what is worse prob
ably degenerate into tadpoles and exc out
a miserable, senseless, stagnant existence,
declining to improve and grow themselves
and determined, if a kind province will let
em, as far as in their power prevent
everything around them from growing
May the good Lord hear our prayer
wicked as we may be-, In behalf OF