Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-10
UNHAPPY MARRIAGES
Herald Reader Discusses Some Of the
Causes for Divorce and the
Remedies for Them

Remedies for Them
Editor Herald: AT meeting re-
Gently held IN this city the ministerial
alliance drafted and dopted certain
principles which they uemind shall
be made the law of e. land. The
meeting discussed the divorce question
and proposed to diminish the number
OF divorces by n more rigid civil law.
A word in regard to the causes of di-
vorce and the attitude of the min
isters regarding the same may not be
out of place at this lime. Divorce is
the result of many cases not difficult
to find by those who are seeking the
truth In the first pace vast numbers
of women marry for home; they
do not marry the man they love; per-
haps they have not yet met him, but If
they should meet him after their mar
rlage to an unloved man then the
bonds of matrimony are subjected TO a
perilous strain.
Another thing, it is q deception
which the unloved husband sooner or
later discovers. and not being satisfied
with a counterfeit love, trouble and
discord ensue. II is not q pleasant
thing to discover you are married to
one who does not love you and it in
variably follows that lack of love
causes repulsion and dislike, and all
too often bitter hatred, suicide or mur-
der.
Some men are no better than animals
in their proclivities and habits and it
Is Il frightful torture for a clean
minded woman to be compelled to live
with d brute.
1t is true also that many women
are like cats, always ready and will
ing to quarrel with their husbands or
neighbOrs over matters of very small
Importance. 1t is very trying for q
quiet, gOod-natured man to live with
such a woman. In justice to the wo-
man. however, we must say that she
is not altogether to blame. as she has
for ages been the slave of slaves, in an
environment which dwarfed, degraded
and embittered her life. A full con
sciousness of this fact makes us Won
der how she can be as good as she is.
The very records of the divorce courts
indicate that woman is repudiating
those conditions which consigned her
to drudgery and inferiority. Her
mental development, moral perceptions
and womanhood are by no means what
they will be when she has entirely cut
loose from the archaic bondage of the
past, and sails out boldly on the limit
less seas of possibility and progress.
One Of the most common causes OF
marital unhappiness is the deception
so frequently practiced by both parties
in courtship. but the close association
of marriage often discloseS defects of
mind and character which If known by
the deluded one would have prevented
the union. Many women Of neat and
tidy appearance before marriage be-
come slovenly afterward, resulting in
loss of respect and waning love on
the part of the husband. Men. too, are
apt to become careless in many things
dear to the heart of orderly minded
women, who suffer greatly in con-
sequence.
Love, not convenience should be the
basis of marriage. This is the belief of
vast and rapidly growing number of
people who look upon lovelesS mar
riage with loathing and horror. Many
honest and Virtuous men and women
regard marriage which is entered into
for the purpose of securing a home
as mere mercenary bargain and
nothing less than legalized and sancti-
fled prostitution. Very many people
believe that the increasing number of
divorces is not a sign of decay or de-
generation, but rather an indication of
mental and moral growth. Educa-
tion has widened the horizon of hope,
and observation and reflection force
us to believe that women should not
be the household drudges for men who
i'll treat or neglect them, nor men the
providers for women who do not love
them.
The advanced souls who have burst
the letters of tradition do not believe
that divorce is worse than con ntinual
family quarrels and unhappiness.
Their mentality demands COM patible
Companionship; their moral nature de-
mands peace and happiness in the
home, and their conjugal nature de-
mands love and will not starVe for it
because of scriptural prohibition, for
they believe that the scriptural hell can
be little worse than the hell of UNI
happy marriage.
O'CONNOR OLSON.