Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-10-20
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4'Eaz5>6iSSIlE

havin' 'em put under bonds to keep dc
peace. Washington Star.
you entertain a great deal more
than you did formerly, I notice" Eyes,
indeed. This is the first really hospita-
ole cook we ever had"-Llfe.
1T takes him painfully long time
10 write a letter" Eyes, he's trying to
Use as many simplified words as posi-
ble"-Cleveland Plain Dealer
There's a colored man and his wife
1T the door looking for work" "But
only advertised for a laundress." Yes,
they are her. "-Phlladelphia Press
Mrs. Style-Mrs. Cashe has a great
deal Of embonpoiut, Mrs Parvenu-
Then IL she has a good deal of 1t, I
know she got it cheap, Baltimore
American.
VEGA bad memory gets fellow
into lots of trouble. Wagg-Yes. it's
always springlng things on you that
YOU thought you had forgotten."-
Philadelphia Record.
Perhaps" said the clerk. you'd like
to look at goods little more expensive
than these Not necessarily" replied
the shopper, but l would like to look
at some OF better quality. Philadel-
phia Press.
Very well, sir" cried DR.. Kwack,
after his quarrel with the undertaken.
III make YOU sorry for this" What
are YOU going 90 dog" sneered the UNI
iertaker. Retire from practice
Philadelphia Press,
jack knew man who stole n
Kiss from pretty girl. He paid the
penalty for larceny. Katharine-Ah.
Indeed. And what was the penalty?
Jack-IIard labor for life He married
the girl.-Philadelphla Bulletin.
What is reform?" asked the argu-
mentative man. Reform" answered
The world-weary one, usually consists
in merely compelling a man to stop
doing things his way and making him
10 them yours. "-WashIngton Star
Eyes, sir; I'm the publisher OF this
paper. Is there anything l can do for
IFouf" II am looking for job as n
proofreader." I'VE don't need proof
readers any more. We have adopted
the reformed spelling" Chicago Trlb-
lne.
''The road to knowledge, nowadays"
said the first old schoolmaster. sis too
swift aud too easy. It's regular rail-
road" Yes" agreed the other old
pedagogue, "and It's railroad with
fewer switches than are necessarily
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Il suppose you want me TO look as
pleasant as possible" said the custom
er. Certainly sir" replied the pho
tographer And III have to ask you
for n small deposit in advance"
whats that forY" That's so can
look pleasant too."-Milwaukee SEN
Inel.
McCall--What sort of hybrid crea-
ture is that new butler OF yours? Nu-
ritch-Why, how do you mean? Nc
Call called to see you the other day,
and when l asked him what time
might catch you at home he said At
haff pawst tin, sab. Philadelphia
Press.
II wonder now" unused the dog.
what fool thing 1t Is that my master
wants me to do with TINT hoop he Is
holding out before me. Maybe he
wants me to jump through IT, IN do
It, and see. How little II
takes to make n man happy Chicago
Tribune.
The minister was shocked when the
young Indy declined mn Introduction 10
some of his practitioners. why, my
dear young lady, did you ever think
that perhaps You viii have to mlngle
with these good people when you get
/ To- hcaycu?' We'll" she exclaimed.
"that win be soon enough"-LIfe
"Uabulmcnts for lufnnts" Is a sign
In clothing store In Boston A West
ern visitor. seeing It, stopped In amaze
mcut. what does that mcan?" he
asked his better acquainted fellow
Westcrner "Thatf' said the other.
"Oh, that is Boston dialect for kids
buds. "-You,h's Companion.
I'm glad to say" remarked Mrs.
Strongmude .u au lnsInuat,ng tone.
"that my husband Is not sporty man"
"Oh.' replied Mr. KaaFpp", looking
very sweet and innocent I'm sur
prised to hear yon say .hat + have al
ways supposed shat Ae mus. bavc mar