The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-10-28
THE WAITER WHO
WILL BUTT IN.
A Nuisance In City Restaurants
That Comes With Gaudy Dec
orations and Orehestras.

Ddy WV hAkA Nv AN
preference for certain u:snes,- aaio q man
who puts up in bachelor quarters and has
TO dine out. The majority OF the walters
holding out Their hands for tips these days
seem TO think they are hired to tell you
what to eat.
sFor instance, yesterday I invited q
charming young woman to dine with me
at a swell hotel restaurant. Obviously to
the water il meant q large tip II l had q
large check to pay.
$50 the first thing the waiter did after
seeing that we had ice water and a menu
card, was to say:
What kind of Oysters. sirT
-Observe the p~hraseology OF the ques-
ton. He wanted to make me think there
was not the 81 ghtest doubt in the world
thai l required a course dinner, starting
with oysters.
Something TO drink first-a cocktail.
Manhattan or Mart NIP, next ventured that
impairment "a ter.
Nov, | had Intended to order cocktails,
but I didn't want the suggestion thrown at
nv head. But what could I do after this
buttinsky had virtually told me what 10
dor
s'You VIII have wine, OF courseT was the
next suggestion Of the waiter. Some very
nice 81 in the champagne list, sir. You'll
find that quite satisfactory
Nov, I had not the least intention OF
opening wine, but under pressure OF this
kind there was nothing to do but to order
a pint.
you'll find the pint rather small, sir.
with a course dinner. Now, a quart
This was too much. l turned and said
very distinctly:
you will bring the pint and II I require
more / will let you know
Il said this in a way that should have
squelched an intelligent man, but this
waiter, calmly bowling, proceeded to NIL the
order. When we were through with the
entree and were working on the saAd he
came back to the attack:
What kind Of sweets would the lady
like, sir?' he asked.
sOnce more, you see, he wordcd the ques-
ton in such a way that hetook il for granted
we wanted something sweet, whereas l
never eat sweets. l ordered an Ice for h
young lady, however, when the impertinent
waiter broke in once more.
"'Roquefort cheese, or CamembertT he
said, and coffee, Of course black.
Now, this waiter wasn't q mind reader,
and he couldn't nave now that I had in
tended to order cheese and coffee. But his
suggestions were q distinct insult. The
argued that I didn't have sense enough to
order my own dinner.
Now, it should be the business Of a waiter
to stand silently, take your order for ex-
actly what you want, no matter what he
thinks you ought to have, and then bring
il without a word. That In my idea OF the
ideal waiter-but I never met one.
The recollection Of the odiou atten-
lions l met with in this particular restau-
rant so angered me that I g there this
afternoon for lunch, I purposely waited
until I saw the same table 1 had occupied
the night before, vacant, and then slipped
in.
The same waiter, smilingly eager to
serve me because Of the recollection Of the
generous tip I had been compelled to give
him the night before, sprang forwardtotake
my order.
Lovely day, SIR he said. Rather
bracinR, sir. Will you have a cocktail. sir.
and oysters, or will you start with soup2'
Listen l said very slowly and dis
tinctly; L will now order precisely
1 want. Listen and pay attention
Yes, SIR he stammered.
First 1 want a large plate OF ice cream
said /. Bring me some grated cheese to
shake over the top Of it,
Grated cheese, sir?' he gasped. On
ice cream?'
You heard me correctly I replied.
Bring ne ice cream, and some grated
cheese to shake over IL. Then 1 want some
fine oysters, with maple syrup poured
over them. After that
II guess I'll have to get the head waiter
SIR stammered the waiter. convinced
that he was dealing with a lunatic.
And he disappeared before could say
anything more.
aThe head waiter came up with the waiter
who was taking my order.
guess you didn't quite explain what
you wanted he said. Would you mind
repeating itT
Il did 40 without a smile. The head
waiter looked i~ncredulous, then observed
that I was we'll dressed and certainly
able to pay for what I ordered, so he wrote
out the slip and sent my waiter to the
kitchen. Presently I had a fine large dish
Of chocolate ice cream. some powdered
cheese, a plate Of oysters on the half shell
and a small pitcher Of maple syrup.
Il scattered the cheese over the ice cream
and then poured the syrup over the oysters.
Then I called to the waiter.
do you think you could eat one OF
those oysters1' I asked.
mo, SIR he answered. I wouldn't
like it,
Neither do l. 1 answered. Now, the
next time you try to tell people what they
, ought to order you remember the oyster
and the maple syrup. Don't make any .sug-
g~estions. What one man likes IL another 4
, poison. Last night you tried to tell me
what I ought to order. The next time l
/ come here l want to order to suit my own
appetite. not yours and ! want precisely
> what / want when I want il. Now take
4 that trash away and bring me the menu
! card
= 1.-THE same waiter soon brought me a
, fresh menu card, and I ordered a comfort
a able lunch without any suggestions from the
o~ficious waiter, who acted during the reSt
y Of my luncheon as though some one had
knocked him down and used him as a door
mat.
81 had an unu sually large check to pay for
: INV lunch, as / had 10 pay for the oyster
= and the other trash, but the extra expense
I. was nothing compared I. the Joy expe-
: rienced in finding that I had at last taught
one hotel waiter to bring me exactly what
I ordered, without any impertihent sug-