davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
FOREST HILL

Miss Ethel Spore has returned TO the
silk mills at Bedding and Floyd Lake &c
the Oldsmobile factory at Lansing
Miss Mary Brady and her grandfather,
NJ Packer, went to Dewitt last Friday
for visit.
Mrs. j. w. Doane has returned from
her visit to Frankfort and other north.
ern points.
Miss Lena b. Camfield was in North
Star over Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Durham visited heI
parents in Sumner, Sunday.
Silas Moody and L. f. Garfield at
tended services at St. Louis, Sunday
Mrs. Farrington's mother, of Glare, is
visiting hGr.
Mrs. Perrigo and little girls are spend.
tins week with relatives in Emerson.
Mrs. Minnie Pembroke and children,
of Alma, are visiting her parents.
Mr.. Wells mother is here from Grand
Ledge.
Miss Mabel Durham is spending few
weeks with her sister at Cass City
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
SOUTHEAST FERRIS.

Mrs. Lawson spent the latter part OF
last week at the home of her daughter,
Mrs. Q. Stearns
VIM. Pugsley was a caller in River
dale Friday.
Mr.. A. Farmer and family, Of Grand
Rapids, are the guests of his mother,
Mrs. Alice Hoover, for a short time.
Mr.. Lew Hudson, of Riverdale, was
the guest of Miss Lucy Riley, Sunday.
Gertie Briggs spent Sunday with Miss
Leah Pugsley.
Charley McCloskey, wife and daugh-
ter Zelma, spent Sunday at the home of
Mr.. and Mrs. +. Fulford.
Born to Lawson Stearns and wife, last
Tuesday, a ten pound boy.
Alvin Stephens started for Ohio last
Wednesday.
Peter A. Klees was on the sick list the
first of the week
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
TUBES DISTRICT.

Mr.. and Mrs. Jos. krupka spent Sun
day in Lakefeld.
Claude Bartrem was in St. Louis Sat
urday night and Sunday, the guest of
his father, VIM. Bartrem.
Harvey and Ella Parrish were in
Wheeler Friday, the guests of their
aunt, Mrs. b. Swope.
Mrs Jay Hicks and daughter Edna,
of Lansing, are visiting at the home of
Mrs b. s. Picks.
Mr.. and Mrs. Geo. Risley and chill
dren, of Pontiac, and Miss Anna Risley,
of st. Johns, were the guests of Edwin
and Joe Risley and families a part of
last week
Norman Kline had his buggy quite
badly smashed last Saturday night.
lightning struck the telephone wires
in front of Frank Kime's house Sunday
evening. The current followed the
wires to the house where it knocked off
some slivers and shocked Mrs Kline so
that she was unable to see or hear for
some time.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
LANGPORT.

Mrs Frank Hudson and daughter lisa.
phene, left last Monday for a short visit
with her daughter, near IoEia, and from
there she will go to Missouri to visit her
father and other relatives.
Mrs. Sarah Mcdonald spent the first
part of the week at S. Standings.
Miss Lena Lauer, of Merrill, spent
Sunday at home.
Dr. and Mrs. Street, OF Wheeler, were
Sunday guests Of Mr.. and Mrs J. Ben
jamin.
Miss Norine Prudden entertained a
few Of her little friends on Wednesday
afternoon.
Mr.. and Mrs. Il. s. Prudden called on
Mr.. and Mrs. II. G. Parks, Sunday after.
noon
Mr. and Mrs. n. f. Saad were,Sunday
visitors at J. Higgins.
As Mr.. and Mrs. Sherman were on
the way to Merrill, Wednesday, theii
horses became manageable, throwing
them both out but without injury.
Little Beulah Bushree has been spend.
several days with her aunt, Mrs n. E.
Saad.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
SOUTHWEST ARCADIA.

Miss Iris Neidhardt was home from
Alma over Sunday
Mr.. and Mrs VIM. Houser spent sun
day with their daughter in Alma.
Mr.. and Mrs. VIM, Andrews, of North
Star, visited relatives in this vicinity
over Sunday.
Miss Mabel Shepard returned Sunday
from a two week 5 visit with relatives
in Saginaw.
Mr.. and Mrs John Baker and Orrison
Brooks and family, spent Sunday at
Lewis Murwins.
Mr.. and Mrs Lewis Peacock of New
Haven, and Mr.. and Mrs. ReXford, of
Ferris, spent Sunday at VIM. Peacocks.
Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. Hutchinson enter
tanned their neice, Mrs. Densmore, of
Ashley, Mrs. Rena Wynne, of Alma,
and Mr.. and Mrs Floyd Howell, of Mid
dleton over Sunday.
Star Grange conferred the third and
fourth degrees on eight candidates last
Saturday evening, and served ice cream
and cake to about 60 members. Visitors
were present from Arcadia, Liberty and
Newark oranges.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
ARCADIA DIST. NO. 5.

Il. d. Bradford has a fine new buggy.
Lookout, girls.
James Porterheld, Frank Powers,
Charley Powers and families, and Day
ton Powers, of Ithaca, spent Sunday ON
the Pine here.
Mr. and Mrs. Ray Birmingham took
in the excursion to Frankfort, Wednes-
day.
Mr. and Mrs. b. f. Cline were in
Ithaca, Sunday.
AIDE huffman starts his thrashing
machine this week.
Mr.. and Mrs Frank Gilkens and Mr..
and Mrs. Jess Tomlin went fishing Sun
day afternoon.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
SHEPHERD.

Mr.. and Mrs. Gardner and son of
southeastern Ohio, came Thursday even
ing to visit Mrs. Gardeners sister, Mrs.
I'D. Lemon.
DR.. e. 3. Colwell has sold his dental
parlors to DR.. Smith, Of Hillsdale, and
moved to Ann Arbor, where he will
practice dentistry
Mr.. r.. d. Lemon and Mr.. Gardner
were in Grand Rapids Sunday.
Mr.. J. NJ. Lemon went to Detroit
Sunday
Mrs. Hattie Weaver, who has been
visiting at the home of her parents for
some time, went to Grand Rapids Mon
day morning
Mr.. Stamp, of Birmingham, Alabama,
who has been here for some time buying
hay for the southern market, started for
his home Monday morning. Mr.. Stamp
was a soldier in the Confederate army,
and was taken prisoner at Nicksburg on
July 4th, 1868 AS the writer was a
soldier in the Union army, and was
present at Vicksburg, we have had come
pleasant conversations about those
times. Mr.. Stamp is fine type Of the
southern gentleman
Miss Ruth Pratt, who has been visit
iting Miss Irene Taylor and other friends
for some time, left for her home at
Grand Rapids Monday morning.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
County neWS
WEST PINE RIVER.

Edd. Wood and wife entertained the
latter's parents, Sunday
Mrs. Lizzie Loomis spent Sunday at
John Wrights.
Miss Eleanor Fleming worked for Mrs.
Charlie Wright, last week.
Frank Whitecraft and family have
moved into his fathers tenent house.
VIM. Hammond and family, of st.
Louis. visited at T. Dailey's over Sun
day.
Mr.. Harris was a caller in this vicin-
ity Sunday.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
CENTRAL PINE RIVER.

Mrs. w. B. Axtell and daughters
Alma and Eva, of Petoskey, are visiting
her parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Doane
Mr.. and Mrs Fred Rogers and Mr.
and Mrs. Erwin Rogers were enter
tanned at Will Davidson's.
Freddie Baker had the misfortune tC
cut his foot.quite badly.
Florence Davidson visited Ermf
Baker, Friday and Saturday.
James Christman is ON the sick list.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
Are you Subscriber to
THE ALMA RECORD
If NOT, why NOT?
IMPORTANT TO ALMA.
Profit by This and Find Safe.
guard Against Many Ills.

Nothing is more important to Alma
than the good health of her people.
How can they fill their place in this busy
town unless they are we'll?
No one trouble is responsible for more
nervous ills, sleeplessness, general de-
bility, weakness, back aches, rheumatic
pains, even ill-temper and peevishness,
than indigestion.
Fortunately, combination of remedies
called Mi-o-na stomach tablets, has been
discovered that absolutely cures indiges-
tiQn and restores TO health and strength
the whole digestive system.
So reliable is Mi-o-na in curing all forms
of stomach weakness and troubles that
Chas. Rhodes gives signed guarantee
that the remedy will cost nothing unless
1t cures. Mi-o-na sells for so cents, and
is Invaluable to anyone who suffers with
indigestion, nervousness or weak stomach.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
SUMNER CENTER NEWS.

Mr.. Forest Fla, of Greenyille, is at his
brothers, harvesting his wheat.
Mr., Phillips visited Mr. and Mrs. 7.
Kress.
Mrs. James Gargett has been visiting
her brother at Edmore.
Mrs Felix Fla has been helping her
sister, Mrs. Fred Fla, few days.
Miss Iva Kress and Miss Ethel Lock
ard visited Miss Edyth Lockard sun
day.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

If you are troubled with Piles ard can
find cure, try Witch Hazel Salve, but be
sure you get that made by +. C.,Dewitt
< Co., Chicago 1t is the Original. IF
you have used Witch Hazel SaIve without
being relieved, it is probable that YOU
got hold of one of the many worthless
counterfeits that are sold on the reputnr
ton of the genuine DeWitt's Witch Hazel
Salve. Chas. Rhodes.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

The tar that is contained IN Bees Lax
alive Honey and Tar is harmless. 1t is
not coal tar, but is obtained from the pine
trees of our own native forests. Bees
Laxative Honey and Tar is the best rem
edy for colds because it acts on the bow
els-thus expelling all colds from the
system. Bees is the original Laxative
Honey and Tar, and is best for coughs,
colds, Group, whooping cough, lung and
bronchial affections. Sold by Geo. +.
Sharrar
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

a good complexion is impossible with
the stomach out of order. If pasty
sallow people would pay more attention
TO their stomachs and less to the skin on
their faces, they would have better COM
plexions. Kodol for dyspepsia will di-
gest what YOU eat and put your stomach
back IN right shape to do its own work.
Kodol relieves palpitation of the heart,
hatulence, sour stomach, heart burn, etc
Sold by Chas. Rhodes. 81
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

A new time table went into effect on
the Ann Arbor Railroad last Sunday.
All trains are scheduled at the same time
as before but in addition thereto, two
more trains have been added, one going
south at so a. III. and one northbound
at I:25 a. IN.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
stimulation without irritation

In case of stomach and liver the proper
treatment is to stimulate these organs
without irritating them. Orino Laxative
Fruit Syrup aids digestion and stimulates
the liver and bowels without irritating
these organs like pills or ordinary cath
artics. 1t does not nauseate or grippe and
is mild and pleasant to take. Geo. f..
Sharrar.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

You don't know how hot the weather
is unless you have a good thermometer.
have just received a new stock of
weather, bath, clinical and incubator
thermometers. Get one and keep posted,
at STANDARDS Central Drug Store
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

A LIMA CAMP Sl42, M. w A.-Meet in l. o.
"A o. +. Temple every alternate Tuesday
night.
j. L. FULLER VIC
W. s. BOGART. Clerk.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

~ A. R.-William Meyer Post, No. 152 Depart.
". ment Of Michigan, q. A. r.. meet on I'd Sat
urday OF each month at Z 200 p. III. and on the 4tb
Saturday OF each month at 300 p. m
EZRA ROBINSON, Commander.
JOHN GREIG, Adiutant.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
A Card from Chas. Rhoades

We have secured the agency for Dr.
Colwell's Egyptian Pile Cure, the most
certain cure for piles ever discored
We personally guarantee it. and will re-
fund the purchase price on every pack
age that fails to give satisfaction.
CHAs. RHoADEs.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

4 o. T. NJ Alma Hive No. 80 Meets alter
". nate Friday afternoons O'Clock K OF p
hall. Visitors always welcoried.
LEONA LATIMER l.. c.
MRS. A eA GREIG, r. X.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

La grippe coughs yield quickly to the
wonderful curative qualities Of Foley s
Honey and Tar. There is nothing else
| just as good" Geo. Sharrar.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

ROSEWOOD CAMP No. 32Sl r. ~ OF A
III Regular meetings every End and attn
Wednesday evenings IN the month at O'Clock
In w r. y. Hall.
MRS. CARRIE 4. FULLER. q.
EDNA WHELAS Rec
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

4 LIMA LODGE, +. ~ A. M.-Regular meeting
y on Tuesday night on or before fall moor.
A. OLMSrED, W. NJ.
NJ, POLLASKY, Sec'y.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

A LIMA CHAPTER. .. E. S. No. 4s-Regula,
meetings on the FIRST Friday ~ each month
MRS. FRANCES HOWE, W. NJ.
MINNIE SMITH, Sec'y.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

4 LIMA HERD NO 81 American Buffaloes meet
"A every alternate Thursday night in |. o. o.
+. Temple
l.. g. HEYBoER, Sire
VS.. BoGART. Scribe.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

4 LIMA ENCAMPMENT, No. so, l. 0 o. r
= meet every alternate Wednesday night In
10. O. +. Temple
W, II. ROGERS Z. =.
w. $. B0GART, Scribe.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

lNAMP DARRAGH No.3N. L. V. - meet In W
~ II. c. hall second and fourth sunday o.
each month
JOHN GREIG, Col
", A. DAVIS o. NJ
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
LODGES

A LIMA Chapter, No. 1913. X. a, VI. Regular meet.
"A ings on Monday night on or afterfull moon
NJ. PoLLAsKY II. p.
WALTER CAPLE, Sec'y.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

A LIMA COURT NO. rs, l. o. F., holds regular
n meetings in q. A. X. hall
CHAs. MoRDES. G. X.
CLARK BEEBE s.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

NJ f. CHURCH-Morning services 1000; sur
W. day school Il 80. Evening service %
Prayer meeting Thursday evening at 700
q. h. HOAG, Pastor.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

BAPTIST EURCH-Mornug service 1000
- Sunday school If: 80. Evening service 200
Young peoples meeting 500 Sunday evening
Juniors Society 2:30 y. m.standard time
Prayer meeting Thursday evenings
REV. II. s. HIGGINS. Pastor
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

EKEE METHODIST CHURCH: Sabbath
Il school. 800 a M, preaching at 1000 a. m
ana ''OO p. m; prayer meeting Tuesday at 7:(C
y. m.
REv. C. M.sDEFOE, Pastor
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

WIN. MoYER RELIEF CORPS, No. 1873, NEE
w every second and fourth Wednesday in the
month. Visiting members always welcome.
MRS. MARIETTA HAwLEY President.
MRS. MARTHA FRAZER, Treas.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

GT JOHNS CHURCH CFpiscopaD-sunda,
- services, 1000 a. N. and 700 %. n. Sunda'
school after morning services.
REV. G. L. RAMSEY, Rector.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

EIRST CHURCH OF CHRIST SCIENTIST
" Services IL 100 u. m. in w. X. G. hall Read
ing room will be at the residence OF Mrs
otto SanderhoH and will be open Saturday from
90 D. m 10 anyone desiring TO read Christian
Science literature
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

pRESBYTERIAN CHURCH-Morning service
J. 1000; Sunday school / 80. Evening service
D. IN.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
SOCIETIES .

II B. CHURCH. Morning service at 10 200
" sunday School AT ll:45: Preaching ser
vice at 700. Rev. c. /. HARDWOOD Pas or
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25
ALMA BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
PROFESSIONAL.

u A. BAGLEY, Physician and Surgeon
". ONCE. Opera House Block. Once hoursl 80
10 $3.50 and toS p. m. Diseases of the eye and ea
speciality.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1906-07-25

4 F.sUYDAM, NJ. D., Physician and Surgeon
D.. Once opposite Church block.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1906-08-30
The saieslady again showed her teeth

The saleslady again showed her teeth
and the old lady ducked for cover.
After about 80 people had rushed up
TO the saleslady and then rushed away
again, went over and spoke to her.
Il am looking" said, for a birthday
present for my wife. / want to get some
thing that will give her a great amount
Of pleasure and which can use later on
as a pipe cleaner or a pair of suspend
ers!"
The saleslady tainted, so moved over.
At another counter another young
lady said to me: "Have you been watt
ed on?"
mo" replied; 81 have been stepped
on, sat on and walked on, but / have
not yet been waited on"
What do you wish?" inquired the
young woman.
u am looking for a birthday present
for my wife" | said Il want to buy
her something that will bring great joy
to her heart and which might use after
wards as a pair of slippers or a shaw
ing mug"
The young lady caught me with her
dreamy eyes and held me up against the
wall
You" she screamed; you complete
total of 23,493 people who have been
In this department store to-day without
knowing what they are doing here, and
| refuse to be human encyclopaedia for
the sake of eight dollars a week. On
your way for yours!"
began to apologize, but she reached
down under the counter and pulled out
club.
This" she said, with a wild look in
her side lamps; this is the happy sum-
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1906-08-30
Kitchen Lin-Iitsn

Il is said that Japanese wrestling is
being taught in the London night
schools. Punch gives color to the ru-
NOR.
There had been so much noise that
the mistress of the house went below
stairs to see what had happened
May | ask" she said from the
kitchen door, the meaning of this dis
graceful behavior%
A new Buttons, very small boy.
spoke up:
The butler and me, mum, ad a
little difference of opinion, mum. So
| give i'm a little joo-jitso. num-"
The mistress of the house, in oDe.
d;ence to a gesture from Buttons,
looked under the dresser, whore the
tail butler lay in a state of astonished
collapse.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1906-08-30
JEFFERSON AS YOUNG MAN
Third President of the United States
Was an Athlete, But Was
Gentle.

Thomas Jefferson, when he left co.
legS was one of the best Latin, Greek
and French scholars in his native state
of Virginia. At his majority he came
into an income of $4,000 year, which
in those days, 1857, was as good as
$4,000 a year in these. jefferson was
six feet two in his stockings (they
didn't wear socks in those days., and
an all-round athlete, dandy dancer
ana an expert violinist.
AS Washington's secretary of state
ne advocated state sovereignty and de-
Capitalization. Alexander Hamilton,
Wsshington's secretary of the treas
ury. was just as stiff for Capitalization.
Washington took the middle course
between the two great rivals.
Jefferson, as president, eschewed all
pomp and ceremony. On his two in
auCuration days, instead of driving TO
the capitol in n coach and six as mad
been the practice, he rode there on
horseback, without a guard or even
servant in his train, dismounted with
out assistance, and hitched the bride
of his horse to a fence. He could be
gentle as a lambkin ana as hard as
nails.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1906-08-30
Unnecessary Expense.

Acute attacks of collie, diarrhoea
and dysentery come on without warn
ing and prompt relief must be OBJ
tanned. There is no necessity of in
curing the expense of a physicians S
service in such cases if Chamber
lain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy is at hand. A dose of this
remedy will relieve the patient be-
fore a doctor could arrive. 1t has
never been known to fail, even in
the most severe and dangerous cases
and no family should be without it.
For sale by l.. L. Elgin and Ander-
son & Fowler, the up-to-date drug
gists of HopkinsT'la
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1906-08-30
Summer DiarrhOea IN Children i.

During the hot weather of the
summer months the first unnatural
looseness of a child's bowels should
have immediate attention, so as to
check the disease before it becomes
serious. All that is necessary is a
few doses Of Chamberlain's Collie,
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy fol-
lowed by a dose of castor oil to
cleanse the system. Rev. NJ. O.
Stockland, pastor of the First M. E..
Church, Little Falls, Mimi, writes:
eve have used Chamberlain's Collie,
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy for
several years and find it very valu-
able remedy, especially for summer
disorders in children" Sold by L.
L. Elgin and Anderson & Fowler,
the up-to-date druggists at Hopkins
vile.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1906-08-30
HAPPY WOMEN.
Plenty of Them in Hopkins
vile, and Good Rea-
son For it.

Wouldn't any woman be happy,
After years of backache suffering,
Days Of misery, nights of unrest,
The distress Of urinary troubles,
She finds relief and cure?
No reason why any Hopkinsville
reader
Should suffer in the face of evil
dence like this:
Mrs. John Coombs, Of 1926 Vir-
ginia street, says: For a great
many years / suffered with per-
sistent aching across my lOins and
through my kidneys. At times my
back was so bad that / corld hardly
turn in bed and | could hardly lay
on my back at all without placing
my hand under it, which seemed in
a measure to relieve the pain. A
friend of Mr.. Coombs told him
about Doan's Kidney Pills and then
he got box for me at L. A John
son q Co.'S drug store. On using
them | steadily improved until the
dreadful aching was relieved and |
could attend to my household duties
without any inconvenience. They
did more for me than any medicine
l ever used and l gladly recommend
them"
For sale by all dealers. Price SOC.
oster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y,
sole agents for the United States
Remember the name-Doan's-and
take no other.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1906-08-30
Stomach Troubles and Constipation.

No one can reasonable hope for
good digestion when the bowels are
constipated. Mr.. Chas. C. Bald
win, of Edwardsville, ILL.,, says, 81
suffered from chronic constipation
and stomach troubles for several
years, but thanks to Chamberlain s
Stomach & Liver Tablets am almost
cured" Why not get a package of
these tablets and get well and stay
well? Price 25 cents. For sale by
L. l.. Elgin and Anderson-Fowler
Drug Co., Qnc.), up to date drug
gists at HOpkinsville.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1906-08-30
.JOHNHENRY
ON BRIDGE WHIST.
BY HUGH McHUGH
GBORGB ". HOBART

received a letter the other day
taat put me over the ropes.
I'll paste it up here just to show
you that it's on the level:
philadelphia, This Week
Dear John: l have never met you
personally, but I've heard my brother
Teddy, speak of you so often that you
really seem to be one of the family
(Teddy talks slang something
fierce.)
Dear John, Will you please pardon
the liberty take in grabbing a two
cent stamp and jumping so uncere-
moniously at one who is, after all,
perfect stranger?
Dear John, IL you look around YOU
can see on every hand that the glad
season of the year is here, and if you
listen attentively you may hear the
hoarse cry OF the summer resort
beckoning us to that bourn from which
no traveller returns without getting his
pocketbook dislocated.
Dear John, could you please tell me
how to play bridge whist, so that when
go to the seashore will be armed
for defraying expenses.
Dear John, l am sure that if
could play bridge whist loud enough
to win four dollars every once in
awhile l could spend a large bunch
of the summer at the seashore.
Dear John, would you tell low
ing but perfect stranger how to play
the game without having to wear a
mask?
Dear John, l played a couple of
games recently with a wide-faced young
man who grew very playful and threw
the parlor furniture at me because 1
trumped his ace. fancy l must have
did wrong. The fifth time l trumped
his ace the young man arose. put on
mis- gum shoes, and skeedaddled out of
the house Is it not considered a breach
of etiquette to put on gum shoes in the
presence of lady?
'If you please, dear John, tell me how
to play bridge whist.
yours fondly,
GLADYS JONES.
"P. S.-The furniture which he threw
was not his property to dispose of.
&c. j."
When my wife got fash of this let
ter she made a kick to the effect that
it was some kind of a cypher, possibly
the beginning of a secret correspond
ence.
1t was up to me to hand Gladys the
frosty get-back, so this is what said:
Respected Madam: I'm a slob on
that bridge whist thing, plain poker be-
ing the only game. with cards that ever
coaxes my dough from the stocking, but
I'll do the advice gag if it chokes me:
Bridge whist is played with cards,
Just like pinochle, with the exception
of the beer
mot enough cards is a misdeal; too
many cards is a mistake; and cards up
the sleeve is a slap on the front piazza
if they catch you at it.
"You shouldn't get up and dance the
snakentine dance every time you take
a trick. 1t looks more genteel and
picturesque to do the two-step.
When your opponent has not fol-
lowed suit it is not wise to pick out
loud tone of voice and tell him about
it. Reach under the table and kick him
on the shins. If it hurts him he is q