The Cairo bulletin., 1906-05-18
A COMMON CRIME.

ne man WIZ SHoltS 10 tooi'O' ""N
loosely put together. His muscles are
fiabby, and they relax when he falls
asleep. No man who has proper
control over his muscles while ne Is
awake ever loses that control while
he is asleep to an extent that involves
snoring. Close observation Will enable
the scientific observer TO predict with
the utmost certainty whether this or
that man will snore.
1t is asserted by all men OF expe-
rience-such as habitual and frequent
widowers, for example--that women
never snore until they reach an age
when they no longer care to make
themselves attractive. Even without
this testimony no truly chiyalrous man
would for moment harbor the idea
that a pretty woman could be capable
OF snoring. There is hardly any vice
which seems to be so utterly incom-
patible with youth and beauty, Won
en- are too delicately and finely organ
lied the snore. The simple fact that any
marriage lasts longer than the honey
moon is sufficient evidence that snor-
ing is virtually unknown among re
spectacle women. To suppose that a
man could for any length of time re
tain any admiration or affection for n
snoring wife is quite impossible.
II IS in the sleeping car that snor
ing is most offensive and intolerahle
nj Ia,
destroys The peace and happiness Of a
single household but he who snores
in sleeping ear insults aud outrages
a score or more of inoffensiye stran-
gers. 1t always happens that there are
at least two snorers in every sleeping
car One Is sure TO snore in a deep
bass voice, and the other frequently in
dulges in a falsetto snore. that Is per-
haps the most exasperatins of all va
rieties. Whenever the train stops, the
SHORES seem to gather fresh strength
and snore louder than ever. Occasion
ally they raise the hopes of their fell
low passengers by seeming TO be on the
verge of stranging, but they always
recover themselves, and there is no In
stance on record of public snorer
who has hsppily ehoked to death.
It is seldom that any active meas
ures are taken to punish or reform the
sleeping car snorer. Vindictive and
insulting remarks are frequently made
to him by his fellow passengers, but
as he is too thoroughly asleep TO hear
them, they do him neither harm nor
good. Irate passengers often venture
the remark that the snorer ought to be
seized and thrown off tho car, but
foolish sentimentality prevents the
other passengers from putting so excel
lent project into execution. Not long
ago, however, a concerted attempt to
suppress snoring was made in sleep
ing car on certain railroad with re-
suits that are full of instruction for all
future travellers.
Among the passengers were several
miners, mild young man, apparently
student of theology, and an extreme
ly beautiful girl, travehng under the
are of the conductor. On the first
night after leaving San Francisco a
errible case of snoring was developed.
The snorer was apparently occupying
A berth near the middle of the car, and
his snoring was so loud and deep that
il partially drowned the noise of the
train. The outrage was endured for
some hours, when finally one of the
miners announced that "thishyr thing
bad gone far enough. and thereupon
arose and called on his comrades t
Join him. They did SO, and, proceed
ing TO the berth from which this snor
ing seemed to come, they threw aside
he curtains and roughly dragge1 on
he astonished theological student
Charged with persistent and intoler
lh!e snoring. he did not deny his guilt,
lcapcd upon him, and made no re-
distance when he wss hustled to thf
Extreme end of the car, and placed in
seat with miner sitting next &
him, and pledged TO watch him al
night and "puncA" him The instant h.
should attempt TO resume snoring.
Pleased with the success of their &C
ton. the miners. with the exception
of the sclf-sacrihcing man who ha0
undertaken TO watch The snorcr. re
turned 10 their bcrths, amid the CRATE
mi applause Of the other passengers
Foi time the car was silent, but be
fore very long the snoring broke oul
again. as loud, as deep and as madden
ing as ever.
II was evident that tho miner on
guard over the culprit had fallen
asleep and neglected his duty. The
other miners turned out again, re
solved this time TO wake up the snorel
So thoroughly that repetition of his
crime would be impossible TO Their
surprise. they found ham wide awake
and perfectly silent. and it was
clear that the car contained second
snorer As before. the sound seemed
to conc from the middle OF the car,
and when Tho miners had satisfied
themselves as to the precise berth from
which tho snoring came. they pulled
out the culprit with more violence than
they had pulled out the theological
student. To their unspeakable horror
they found that the snorcr whom they