Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-21
CALLS BINGHAM
'DAMNITSIR' NOW
COMMISSIONERS PENCHANT
FOR "CUSSING"
Schedule Of His First Day There-Cop
Has Thlrty-Mile Beat-cannot
Suppress the Masher-Flfth
Avenue Doomed


NEW YORK, Jan. 2O.-The "shoo-
fys' and the gumshoe men at police
headquarters have dubbed Cen Bing-
ham, the now police commissioner.
"damnitsr" The generals first day
on his new job is sumed up as follows
by the headquarters reporters:
s. a. m.-Gen. Bingham arrives, nc
cOmpanied by his secretary and a meal
sack full of damns; S:15-Gen. Bingham
addresses inspectors and captains as
follows Men, damn, damn, damn. /
tell you. damn. Also damn. on the
level, fellows, damn, damn, damn,
damn, damn. Remember, damn; 9:23-
Col Mutt formerly police captainj.
just been dismissed, confessed he didn't
know whether there were nine or ten
gods Of war. oh, damn; 11-General
orders issued by Gen. Bingham that
every policeman, In addition to shield,
club, revolver and book Of rules, shall
equip himself with tinker's damn;
11:15-Gen. Bingham has Just addressed
this letter to the mayor: Dear
George: Damn, damn. No doubt of
1t, damn. Damnity, damn. Believe me,
dear, damn. Most sincerely yours,
Damn; 12:10-Gen. Bingham has APP
pointed a damn squad composed of the
department.,
of whom are noted for their violent and
red-hued language. After being exer-
cised by Gen. Bingham in the manual
Of damn they will be stationed in the
subway to practice on passengers; 4:J0
ALI the ambulances in the city have
been summoned to headquarters to care
for many seriously injured persons
The building is almost demolished. Five
hundred danns exploded without warm
IN atf1e
eral was unhurt, but his clothing was
ruined. When eXtricated from the
ruins he said: Damn
Long Distance Coppers
An illustration OF the distance which
some of the police in the outlying dis
stricts have to cover was given today
i'll the trial of Mounted Patrolman Will
liam l.. Falkenburg of Staten Island
He was charged before Deputy Com
missioner McAvoy with not reporting
a fire on his post.
How long is your post?" asked Mr.
McAvoy.
There are about thirty miles of road
on it," replied Falkenburg.
How far away from the fire were
you when it broke out?"
six miles," said the officer.
II should be inclined to dismiss this
case but for the fact that you have
been on charges three times before this
year from Staten Island. In my time
as patrolman there used to be an ar
r9ngement whereby patrolman on
Staten Island was brought up on
charges once year and he arranged
the time with his roundsman and
wasn't bothered the rest of the year.
I'll reserve decision"
Washers irrepressibIe
Although the policemen on duty at
the Manhattan end of the Brooklyn
bridge have been instructed to fan
mashers and pinchers whenever found
the industry still continues to thrive
in the crush hours. On the pretense
that he has been unavoidably jostled
in the throng the bridge masher at
tempts to establish a conversation with
his victim. The stony glare avails the
lady nothing and the only recourse she
has is to call a policeman. 1t may be
that many innocent men are whacl1ed
beneath the coattails by the policemen,
but the average of those who deserve
this treatment is very high. 1t has
come to the pass that a man who really
bumps against a woman in the rush
does not dare to apologize lest he be
mistaken for one of the despised breed
Strange to say, most of the mashers
What dope do these old fellows work
under? 1t is a puzzle.
May Doom the Avenue
Young Mrs. Willie X. Vanderbilt Is a
pioneer in the movement to desert
Fifth avenue. She has begun to oc-
cupy a residence at 332 West End ave-
rue, which was bequeathed to her by
her brother. Charles Fair. For fifty
years It has been tradition that to be
in New York's most exclusive set one
must live within n stones throw of
Mrs. William Astor's mansion at Sixty
fifth street and Fifth avenue.
About her, within ten blocks north |
and south. live the members of the ex-
elusive set. VIII they desert her in her
old age?
If they follow Mrs. Willie *. it means
the fall from supremacy of the Astors
and the ascendency of the Vanderbilts |
as the social arbiters of New York.
Icidentally if the westward move
ment leads to the complete evacuation
of Fifth avenue, an absolute revolution |
of the social center of New York will |
take place, bringing ruin to the busi-
ness houses on the avenue.
The social section of New York lies
between Eighteenth and One Hundred |