davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
some Big Oysters.

The usual size Of the shell Of an oys
ter Is three to five inches, but awa5
back In tertiary times there were or
tiers in California that had shells tllr'
teen inches long and seven or eight
inches wide. The animal and shell
doubtless weighed fifteen or twentJ
pounds. since the shells were FIVE ncD.
es thick. These oysters have long been
extinct, but their fossil shells are abun'
dant. II the oyster farmer could pro-
duce individuals Of such enormous size
now and the flavor were good In pro
portion to its size we would be most
fortunate. In that case a single oyster
would be enough for one stew at the
church festival.-St. Nicholas.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

When a man is loaded you always
know it, but it's different with gun.
Keep telling boy he never will
amount to anything. and he generally
won't.
A six weeks engagement will put
lot of conceit into a man, but six min
utes of married life are sufficient to
take 1t out.
1t is wonderful how many have
watches considering how few there are
In the world TO whom time really seems
to be of any value.
Perhaps mans eyesight grows poor
er with the years as a merciful way
Of preventing him from seeing his
wrinkles and gray hairs.
We suppose man is called "wo-
mans protector" fob the reason that
he protects her from others imposing
upon her, preferring to do It all him
self.-Atchison Globe.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
An Affidavit.

The suggestion of an English barris-
ter that certain matter was a proper
subject for oral examination, not for
affidavit agreed with the emphatic
opinion Of an English justice recently
retired. He was once trying a case at
the Manchester assizes in which a man
had been cross examined upon an all
davit. Summing up the evidence to tie
jury, the judge said, Gentlemen, of all
the weapons in the whole armory of In
iquity there is nothing to equal an af-
fidavit for concealing the truth"
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

T>HEY say that money cannot buy
The sweetest things I'm life
Health, heaven. friends. respect.
content,
Or cen q loving wife.
They say that money cannot buy
These things for me. alas. But l.
Well. don't know! :.
What bought my private ear? JUS
wealth.
What bought my lovely yacht.
Which sails me to the lands where health
Is found in every spot?
What pays my specialist, dear Jim,
To keep me in such perfect trim?
Well. don't know
What bought the most delightful wife
A man could hope to win?
What buys her every wish in life
The clothes she dazzles in?
And IL her heart beats not for me
And 1 am not adored, you see
Well. don't know!
And heaven? Oh. of course 1 don't
Expect to get in free,
But if the Lord meant what he said
Concerning charity,
The 1.-THE I'll give before / die
viii slip me through the needles eye,
Or-I don't know!
For happiness? Well, money bought
This ninety cent cigar:
1t bought this chair in which j loll;
1t bought this private car;
1t bought this cognac-and, / guess,
If all this is not happiness,
Well. don't know,
Helen Rowland in New York Press.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
Wanted Proof.

Representative Chalk Beeson of Kan
sas, the head of a forestry station that
gives trees to farmers, in an address
to woman's congress said: ''Trees are
like children. In the beginning they
give US great deal of trouble and
worry, and in the end we are very
proud Of them. Young trees are vex-
atious; young children are the same.
know of man who sat in bis study
one afternoon writing a speech when
his son called shrilly from the garden:
Papa. papa. look out of the win
dow!'
what nuisance children arer
grumbled the old man. but rapidly he
put down his pen and with half
smile advanced to the window prompt
ly and stuck forth his head
"'Well. John. what is it? said he.
''The boy from group of youngsters
called up. Papa. Jimmie Smith did
not believe that you had no hair ON
the top Of your headp Baltimore Sun
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
STAGE EPIGRAMs.

The theater is the chastener Of ME-
Euripides.
An actor is a public instructor
Euripides.
The theater Is the mirror OF life
Sophocles.
Actors are the only honest hype
crites.-Hazlitt.
The theater Is the devils own terri
tory.-Edward Allyn.
The stage represents fiction as II
were fact.-Betterton.
The stage is the field for the oratn
as well as the comedian.-Roscius.
A passion for dramatic art is inher
ent in the nature OF man.-Edwin For
rest.
The drama Is the most refined pleas
ure Of a polished people.-Dion Boud
cault.
1t Is in drama where poetry attain
its loftiest fiight-Don Luis !. Of PU
tugal.
The stage is more powerful than ihs
platform, the press or the pulpit
Anna Dickinson.
A comedy is like cigar; IL good, sv.
cry one wants a box; II bad. no amouni
Of putting will make 1t draw.-HenJ
James Byron.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
Easy.

The professor Of mathematics expe-
rienced quite little difficulty in max
ing one Of his class comprehend the
theory Of limits. To make the theorem
more ineligible he resorted to the fol-
lowing illustration:
snow. Mr.. c." he proposed, suppose
you were 100 feet from a rabbit and
you gave him chase, and in the first
minute you gained one-half Of the in
tervening distance and likewise in the
next and in each succeeding minute; at
last, If you were four inches from the
rabbit. would you ever catch him? Re-
member, you gain one-half of the inter-
vening distance each minute"
IF l was four inches from the rab-
bit" replied the student, II would
reach out and grab t."-Philadelphi
Ledger.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
olFTs TO JOCKEYS.
queer Rewards and Reminder Tnss
Care to the Riders.

a~eer Rewards and Reminder TAas
Cone to the Riders.
one Of the greatest Of living JOCKEYS
has A most remarkable collection or
tributes from admirers. unknown ana
otherwise. It contains, among other
strange things, pawn tickets, writs and
summonses contributed by unsuccess-
full hackers of his mounts, talismans
of all kinds to bring him luck IL MS
races, sermons and tracts for his spir-
itual welfare, recipes for all kinds OK
ailments. from coughs to tendency
to corpulence, forms for insuring
against accidents, offers Of marriage.
accompanied by bundles Of photo
graphs Of would be wives, welshers'
tickets and pair Of wornout boots
with the legend: "All that Is left or
them after walking from York to LODI
don. Backed all your mounts"
A few years ago, after his horse had
lost an important race, well known
turfman went up to the jockey and
made him a formal and public pres
entation of a silver snuffbox, saying
that If he would look inside he would
see the kind of horse he ought to ride
In future. The jockey opened the box
and found in it half dozen fat snails.
1t was the same satirical owner who
on another occasion presented his jock
ey with a sumptuous casket, which on
being opened disclosed a wooden spoon,
and to third jockey who had failed
to win an important race he handed
a pair of crutches bought from beg
gar on the course.
When John Singleton, clever jock
ey of nearly two centuries ago, first
won a race In Yorkshire the farmer
whose horse he had ridden to victory
was so delighted with his achievement
that he made him present Of a eve,
whose offspring soon mustered round
dozen, and really started the ex-shep-
herd lad on his career as a jockey.
Singleton was very proud Of and CRATE
full for his singular fee.
In this respect he furnished great
contrast to well known jockey who
when a check for $500 was handed TO
him by the owner Of horse on which
he had won race crumpled it up con-
temptuously. with the remark that he
had "often received more for riding
two-year-old. Chicago News.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
For Tax Collector

To the Marion County Der ocracy:
Believing that / have filled the posi-
tion of tax collector for state and
county during my occupancy of the Of
fice acceptably to large majority OF
the tax payers of the county, ! an
nounce myself a candidate for re-
election, subject to the action of the
county democracy in the primaries Of
May Is, next. From now until
the primary comes off will be my
busiest season in the Office, SO much
so that 1t will be impossible for me
10 Neglect my duty to the public in
order to make a personal canvass Of
the county. 1t would be a pleasure
for me to meet the people at the var
ious meetings that in all probability
will be arranged by the county demo-
cratic executive committee to take
plac over the county within the next
two months, but i think that all good
citizens who know me will understand
that it is duty before pleasure with
me. submit my candidacy upon my
official record an diff elected for an
other term of office, l will do my duty
as / have in the past.
Very respectfully,
Il. l.. CARNEY.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
Nerve of a stownuay.

The captain of Mediterranean liner
was talking about stowaways.
Most Of those fellows" he said,
have an excessive quantity of cheek
Of brass. Once we discovered a stow
away a few days out from New York
and put him to work in the galley.
A lady on tour of inspection paused
by the stowaway as he sat peeling DO
tatoes.
"'How soon do you think we'll reach
NapleSY she said to him.
well, madam he replied, I'm do
ing all l can to get her in by Tues
day"
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
For County treasurer
THos. e. PAsTEUR.
Just Reverse II.

Editor Frank Harris. of the Ocala
Banner has been advocating the abol-
ishment of the Railroad commission,
and Commissioner R. HUDSON Burr
has challenged him to a debate on the
subject When Mr.. Burr gets through
with the Ocala Editor; he'll probably
wish he'd never accepted that kind Of
advertising-Zolfo Advertiser
That makes us smile. In a newspa-
per scrap, Frank Harris would make
the Hon. Hudson Burr feel and look
like a two-cent piece perforated with
holes. He would be out of his ele-
ment in an argument with the Ocala
Editor.-Tampa Tribune.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
HOW LINCOLN CLING;

a Lsag, Had Path 60 RsasA /.
Zee Bsfsse the suprems O.,
The lawyer who works biz -,
from ave dollar fee In suit b..
justice Of the peace to 5000 4.
fore the supreme court of his star. !,
a long and hard path to climb. r,,...
climbed this path for twenty Ave -.
with industry. perseverance, patjpo..
above all. with that self controI 4.
keen sense Of right and wrong Viii.
always clearly traced the dividing 4
between his duty to his client ana n
duty TO society and truth. His upr,,-
frankness of statement assured him n.
confidence of judge and jury in ers-
argument. His habit of fully admIt,,.
the weak points in his case gained Il.
their close attention to his strong on.-
and when clients brought him questIo,
able cases his advice was always q.
to bring suit.
YES" he once said to man who 4,
Tered him such case; ''there Is no =.
sonable doubt that can gain your a..
for you. / can set whole nelghhn,
hood at loggerheads: can distress !.
widowed mother and her six fatherI4,
children and thereby gain for you saY
which rightfully belongs, 1t appears 4
me as much to them "a II does n -
/ shall not take your case. but xs
give you a little advice for nothIn,
You seem sprightly. energetic man (,
would advise you to try your hand 4.
making 5000 In some other way
He would have nothing to do with n.
"tricks" of the profession. though Il
met these readily enough when pr,<
ticed by others. He never knowineh
undertook case in which justice w
on the side OF his opponent. That san.
inconvenient honesty which prompts
him in his storekeeping days to ci~
the shop and go In search Of wonn
he had innocently defrauded Of fez
ounces of tea while weighing out 1r
groceries made 1t impossible for him h
do. his best with a poor case. "Sweu'
he once exclaimed. turning suddenly /,
his associate, ''the man Is guilty. Yn
defend him: can't" and gave I'D ii,
share of a large fee.-Helen Nicolay b
st. Nicholas.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
The First skates.

AS late as the sixteenth oentur
skates in England were very primitive
for we learn that the London appren-
tees used to tie bones to their feet ana
under their heels. Writing in l6oL
Evelyn speaks of ''the strange ana
wonderful dexterity of the sliders' ID
St. James park, performed before
their majesties by divers gentlemeD
and others with scheets. after the man
ner of the HollaDders. with what swift
nesse uley pass. how suddainly tnes
stop in full carriage upon the ice"
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

DR.. E. II. Armstrong, the renowned
Eye and Ear Specialist of Jackson
vile, who has been making profess
sional tours throughout the state, will
be represented here by one of his
leading specialists from the home Of
flee on April 2-3 and may be seen at
the Ocala House. All eye troubles,
chronic and nervous diseases handled
without drugs or operations. Do not
miss this opportunity to see the doc
tor. as it will be some time before he
is here again. 3-23-2t
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
Ar Eaisimo Dainty.

The greates treat known to the y
kimo boy OF girl is lump of sug'D..
Perhaps you think there is nothlns
very strange in that The strange par
Is the very funny way they have ..
eating the sugar. They roll the swes.
mSrsel in piece of tobacco leaf. 1hs
they PLACE in their cheek and, sTnaeA.
ing their lips delightedly. hold 1t tnels
until it is dissolved. This dainty
called "laloop" and is the choicest NOR
sci known to the little Eskimo STOMACH
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
A Poser.

1t was at an English election meet
ing. and an excited man shouted to the
candidate:
Don't beat about the bush; answer
my question Yes or Nor"
The candidate replied, But. my dear
sir there are some questions which
cannot be answered Yes or No"
The interrupter replied rudely with
the single exclamation "Boshr'
Very WELL" replied the speaker, IL
will prove what say. Now, sir, the
question will put to you is this: Have
you left off beating your wife?' New
York Times.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

Minority Leader John Sharp Will
iiams, congressman from Mississippi,
says that democracy should devote
all its energies to winning the next
house of representatives and that by
doing this the election of president in
1908 would take care of itself. That
IL the next house is democratic, the
action of the democratic majority in
that body would demonstrate to the
country that fitness of the party for
greater responsibilities and it's ne
cessity to the whole country, as well
as its conservatism and constructive
capacity.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

One of the best forms OF advertis-
ing for a retail merchant is the in
telligent use of his show windows. 1t
would be pretty hard to find anything
much better than that. In the win
dow you can display the article itself.
you can place it attractively, make its
surroundings pleasant. and on bright
and well-printed card you can describe
the merits of the article and quote
prices.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
Through Train and Sleeping Car Ser
vice Between jacksonville, Fla.
and Augusta, Ga.

Effective Jan. 10th, 1906. the Allan
tic Coast Line will inangurate Pull
man Sleeping car service between
Jacksonville. Fla; and Augusta, Ga.
Trains leave Jacksonville at 1855 a.
M, and arrive Augusta at 6:55 D. M.
affOrding daylight service between
the two points. Dining car service
will be operated between Jacksonville
and Yemassee for breakfast and for
lunch.
Evening trains from all South Flor
ida points make direct connections at
Jacksonville, affording the quickest
and best service between Florida and
Augusta
For further information see ticket
agent, or write,
]. G. KIRKLAND,
ID. p. A. Tampa, Fla.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
PROPOSALS.

Sealed proposals will be received at
the office of the clerk of the circuit
court at Ocala, Florida up, to
twelve O'Clock noon, Friday.
April 6. 1906 for the labor and
completion of a two story court house
to be erected for Marion county Fla,
to be situated in Ocala. according to
plans and specifications on file AT this
office and at the. office of the archi-
tects, w. Chamberlain Co, at Biz
mingham, Ala.
certified check or draft for per
cent of the amount of the bid
must accompany each proposal as a
guarantee that the successful
bidder will make a good and SOL
vent bond in the sum of$5O.000 for the
faithful performance of his contract
The right is reserved TO reject any
or all bids or to accept any bid which
may be deemed advantageous to the
county.
Address all proposals to
H w. LONG
Chairman Board County Commission
ers, Ocala, Fla Stu
S. T. SISTRUNK, Clerk Circuit
Court and ex-officio clerk to the Board
OF County CommissiC lcrs.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
The RenIint.

"Sketchem is wonderful artist. isn't
be-?
whats he done nova"
In, a magazine story he Illustrated
this line: For an hour she sat silent
and motionless. waiting The picture
is so realistic that if you watch it for
half an hour ii neither speaks nor
moves. WonderfA. simply wonder
ful!-Kansas City Times.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

To the Citizens OF Marion County:
announce that l am candidate
for nomination and reelection to the
Office OF County Judge of Marion
County subject to the Democratic
Primary to be held May 18th, 1906.
AS l am engaged in the active adj
ministration of the duties OF the Office
It will not be possible for me to make
an active or extended campaign.
solicit the support of the Demo-
cratic Electors of Marion county, and
pledge TO them an honest, faithful
and upright administration Of the dut-
les of the office IL 1t be their desire
that / shall again serve them.
Respectfully,
JOSEPH BELL.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
GivesHeaIth, Vigor and Tone.

Herbine is a boon to sufferers from
aneamia. By its use the blood is
quickly regenerated and the color be-
comes normal. The droooping
strength is revived. Ihe languor is
diminished. Health, vigor and tone
predominant. New. life and happy
activity results. Mrs. Belle H. Shriel,
Middlesborough, H., writes I have
been troubled with liver complaint
and poor blood, and have found moth
ing TO benefit me like Herbine. 1
have wished that 1 had known it in
my husbands time" scots. m
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

The firts three qualifications for the
foundation of a successful retail BUSH
ness are undoubtedly, a good store,
a good stock at fair prices, and cour-
teous, intelligent craftsmanship. Many
on the foundation of these three quail
ifications alone.-Ben B. Hampton.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

, Miss Sue Barco, who spent the past
few days with Mrs. w. II. Powers, is
now the guest of her uncle and aunt
Mr. and Mrs. w. X. Zewadski. where
from Miami.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
For District Attorney.

To the Voters of the Fifth Circuit
/ hereby announce my candidacy for
the office Of state attorney for the fifth
judicial circuit of Florida, composed of
the counties Of Marion, Citrus. Sum-
ter, fernando and Lake, subject to the
democratic primary to be held May Is,
and solicit the suppo- Of the demo-
cratic voters of this district.
CARLOS l.. SISTRUNK.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

Col. w. n. Camp, after spending the
past two weeks in Ocala and at Sara
sofa, will leave today Tor Roanoke,
Va, stopping over day or two in
Savannah with his daughter, Mrs. G..
F. Armstrong.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

One Of the oddities of postal rates
is the rule that applies to blotters. Ad-
vertisements printed on ordinary pa
per go for one cent each two ounces,
as printed matter. but advertisements
printed on plotting paper are con-
sidered merchandise, and must pay
one cent an ounce
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

It's too bad, ">said the Judge caustic-
lily. that the defendant should have
che !0a for counsel. You know
not l.: bout law"
We'll. your honor" replied the young
lawyer. Il don't need to In this court"
Philadelphia Press.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
Different Service.

Yes, sir" said the soldierly looslDs
man. Il have spent fifteen years y
my life In the service of my country
$50 have l." volunteered the iOr
proved individual. Offering his nan..
what were you In forr-Hous'O'
Post.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
Faith and Works.

Tess-Mr. Gayman. of course. is a no
torious fiirt. and yet his wife declares
she has great faith in him.
Jess-My Gear girl. when a society
woman speaks Of her faith in her hus-
band she simply means faith in his
ability to make money for her.-Catho-
lie Standard and Times.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

The Ocala Banner was printed on
green paper and the st. Augustine
Record was printed in green ink in
honor of st. Patrick's Day. The beau
tiful shade trees in Gainesville all
wore green leaves in honor of the
event.-Gainesville Sun.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

The Atlantic Coast Line operates
the finest of Pullman Buffet Cars on
its day trains and Pullman Buffet
Sleeping Cars on it's night trains be-
tween ocala and jacksonville. Con.
neetions made there for all points East
and West.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

Mr.. c. E. Cork, of Orange Lake,
made this Office pleasant call one
day this week, and says the vegetable
growers in that favored section of old
Marion are on the hustle and every
thing looks favorable at present for
a large crop.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

The Pullman Buffet ParIor Car. an
the day trains and Pullman Sleeping
Cars on the night trains Of the Allan.
tho Coast Line are sxamni.s IS .xesI.
isaas and eeunfsr4.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
Invaluable for Rhsumatl---

I have been suffering for the past
few years with a severe attack OF
rheumatism and found that Billiards.
Snow Liniment was the only thing
that gave satisfaction and it tended
10 alleviate my pains. March "a, o..
chm c. Denman, Kingman, Ill. Csc.
soc. and $1.00. All druggists m
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23
Address all proposals to

The president should come to Flor
Ida and hunt blind tigers" and mig
gers playing craps. 1t is getting to be
u sport ranking with bear hunting and
such like"
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

Mrs. Theodore Roosevelt, wife of
president Roosevelt accompanied by
her children. will visit Florida soon
and later on will sail from Fernan-
dina for the West India Islands.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

While in town call at the o. K. gro
Gerry and get your pumpkin seed free
of charge-you have until the middle
of April to plant. x
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

Mrs. John F. Towles and her sis
ter Miss Elizabeth Carr. after spend
ing a few days in Ocala left Tuesday
for their home at Boston, Mass. Mr..
Towles will remain in Ocala and this
section for some time longer.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1906-03-23

Visiting Philanthropist- Good morn
mig. madam. l am collecting for the
Drunkards' home. Mrs. Mcclure
shurs I'm glad Of II. sof. II ye come
around tonight yez can take my hus.
b0A-Haxp@'s Weekly.