The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
CHAPTER XXI.

Alexis, in wild and disordered
hand, which more than sufficiently re-
vealed the agitation of his mind, wrote
thus:
Dearest. Always dearest. Your
letter cuts me to the heart. can say
nothing in answer to it, but that my
position makes it impossible for me
either to explain or to extenuate.
was not wholly honest in the morning.
shall never dare to be wholly honest
with anybody any more. I have in
can see no possibility of escape. a
scrupulous adherence to candor and
veracity are not the common badges
of you sex, but you are the soul of
honor in that regard, and I know that
after this enforced confession you can
never respect me again. l see no
course before me except to release you
from a compact into which I ought
never to have enticed you. Go free OF
ME, Lillian, and Of my wrecked and
broken life. When you think of me at
all think of me leniently; and think of
me as one who loved you, and will love
you till the end. Good-by. Heaven
bless you. A blessing hurts nobody,
even when it comes from one so hope
less and forlorn as am"
That was all, and if the reader wept
over it. there was little room for
wonder. 1t left, with her puzzles all
unsolved, but it confirmed the chief
suspicion which had tortured her.
Alexis had not dealt honestly with her,
and there was something in his life
which he was fain to conceal, even at
the expense of honor. What that
something was she had no means of
guessing, but it was enough that it ex-
listed.
When woman has really given her
whole heart to man it is difficult to
say what shock her love will not sur
vive, but in Lillan's case there had
been no such surrender. She had adj
mired Alexis greatly, but she had al
ways found defects of his character
visible. She could analyze and criti-
else as no woman in love with a man
could ever do yet'in the history of the
world He had never been the man of
men to her, the only man, the incarna.
ticn Of all the excellences width which
the female lover lowers the he of her.
unalterable choice. She grieyel, but
it was vastly less for the breach which
she clearly saw to be inevitable than
fer the fell of one whom she had re-
srccted and had once believed herself
to love. She accused herself Of shall
lcwness and disloyalty. She thought
',cen placed in her position, she would
ave rushed impulsively to the suffer
W and would have declared herself
'e2dy to face any obloquy fer his dear
axe: would have rejoiced to lift him
his letter self again, and to share
is sorrows.
But. Lillian had no impulse of that
ind, though her grief and pity were
cal enough to throw her into a kind
lew fever, which hung about her for
nanv days. She kept her room and
'enied herself to visitors, even to
Aiss Molloy, who came to recapitulate
n fuller terms the news she had al
'eady sent of the surrender Of Billery.
But Miss Molloy absolutely declined
o be denied. and having at last Sc
ured admission under promise that
he would not talk, and would With
raw before the patient had even be-
un to be tired Of her visit, she set
erself resolutely to work torwake her
lend from the uninterested languar
lto which she had fallen, and sue
eeded SO we'll that she was asked to
rolong her stay. lillian had thought
he would never find heart to laugh
ls.ain. but she did lsugh. md that