The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-09
HUMOR or THE Day

HUMOR or TIE Day
Prison visitor-what are you in fOr.my
Convict-second degree.
Prison Visitor-Murder2
Convict-No. Matrimony.-Philadelph
Press.
YES. indeed; he's the homeIiest man in
publie today. Haven't you ever seen
him?
mo. but I've seen caricatures Of him.
"Oh, they flatter him. You should see
him. Catholic Standard and Times.
Mother-Do. you think it is a good thing
to spank child?
Doctor--wel, it often relieves the par
Press.
1Iifkins-Young Hawley is worth a mil
Bifkins-WelI. he inherited million
was getting 81 a week in a grocery.-Chi- /
Eve-There's no use talking. Adam;
can't take care of the children and do the
housework, too. You've got to get a girl!
suppose this is where lose another rib.
Puck.
What a loud peal that is at the door
yes, Mr.. Catohem is coming this even
ing. I think that is my engagement ring
Baltimore American.
He-But why should you insist tha4
apologize? You admit yourself that was
she-Wen, you ought to apoloxize Tor
that-Somerville Journal.
How did you cure your boy Of swear
ly-''-Chicago Record-Herald.
de major done lef' de water-waronf'
Yes-dar wuzn't room 'nun fer him; en-
his motto IN dis worP is Don't crowd "
Atlanta Constitution.
Oar is only one man dat I is dcg1n-
IAN dats de man dat goes through life
bein' suspicious of ev-ybody else
Washington Star.
Kadley-Why didn't you introduce me
to that stunning Miss Peches when you
were with her on the avenue yesterday
Didn't you see me speak to you as Z
Kandor-Yes, but Miss Peches saw
you and spoke to me frst.-Philadelphia
@4ow did stupid old Boresome ever
get a reputation for Wit?'
HE was once Interviewed by a brilliant
young reporter. Minneapolis Journal,
Rankin-what are you going to do with
all those cigar checks, or whatever you
call them. that you are saving?
Fyle-I am papering a room with them
I wet to show my wife that can ecouus
Tnize in some things as well as she can
Chicago Tribune.
What did you do that offended Miss
'iI'm sure don't know. We were talk
ing about the threatened return OF crino-
line and merely asked her If she would
not hate to go back to hoops again.
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Jawbaek-John. wake up! You are
talking in your sleep.
Mr. Jawback-LenIne lone. It's the only
chance ever get, amt 1t?-Cleveland
Leader.
Child--Mother, viii. you p-pleass come
Mother (downstairs)-I did shut It.
Child-W-well, c-corne an open THAR
per's Bazar-
Knicker..Any chance OF promotion in
Bocker-Tm afraid not; the heads are
too honest to have to resign.-NeW York
Sun.
Miss Elder-Yes, Jack asked me to be his
partner for life, and accepted.
Miss Younger--How lovelyi And you
VIII be. the senior partner, won't yeu,
dear2-Gleveland Leader.
Were you especially educated for vour
present responsible position2'
Yes" answered the Sultan Of Turkey.
Soon after my accession to the throne
I went to work and learned TO say: II
apologize, in every modern language
Washington Star.
The Press Agent-That girl IS just fun
of talent.
The Manager-She must be- I've never
seen any come out.-New Y rk Times
"a girl" said Miss Prim should al
ways teach a man his distance
sort of a man would know his distance
YES" replied Miss Koy, but the right
have no patience with the fellow who
stands off about three feet and then leans
way over 70 KISS you as II you were a
hot potato. ''-Philadelphia Ledger.