The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-07-14

you are not u QUICK CillnDtI.
Never whistle while waiting for
some one to play. Whistling is not in
good taste. Go over and bite out cou-
pie of tunes on the piano.
when your opponent trumps an ace |
don't ever hit him carelessly across the |
forehead with the bric-a-brac. Always |
remember when you are in society that
bric-a-brac is expensive.
Don't lead the ten of clubs by mis-
take for the ace of trumps and then get
mad and jump II feet in the air because
they refuse to let you pull II back.
I'm order to jump II feet in the air
you would have to go through the room
upstairs, and how do you know whose
room It Is?
There, Gladys, II you follow these
rules | think you can play the game of
bridge whist without putting bruise
on the Monroe doctrine.
up. S.-When you play for money al
ways bite the coin to see II 1t means
as much as 1t looks"
The next day, in order to square my
self with my wife for getting letter |
hadn't any use for, went to one of those
New York department stores to get her
a birthday present.
Say! did you ever get tangled up In
one of those department store mobs and
have a crowd of perfect ladies use you
for a door mat?
got mine!
They certainly taught me the Ro-
jestvensky glide, all right!
At the door of the department store a
nice young man with a pink necktie and
quick forehead bowed to me.
what do you wish?" he asked
well" said, I'm down here to get
birthday present for my wife. would
like something which would afford her
great pleasure when give It to her and
which could use afterwards as PEN
wiper or fishing-rod"
Second floor; to the right take the
elevator" said the man.
| Did you ever try to take an elevator In
department store and find that 3.943
other American citizens and citizenettes
were also trying to take the same ele-
vator?
| How sweet II is to mingle In the arms
of utter strangers and to feel the gentle
pressure of foot we never hope to meet
again!
was standing by one of the counters
on the second floor when shrill voice
crept up over few bales OF dry goods
and said: Are you buyer or a ham
dler?'
81 am looking for birthday present
for my wife" ! answered 81 want to
get something that will look swell on
the parlor table and may be used later
on as a tobacco jar or trouser
1 stretcher!"
Fourth floor: to the left take the
elevator" said the lady's voice.
With bowed head I walked away.
began to feel sorry for my wife.
Nobody seemed to be very much in
terested whether she got birthday
present or not.
On the fourth floor ! stopped at q
counter where lot of eager danes were
paving over some chinchilla ribbon and
chiffon overskirts
1t reminded me of the way our dog
digs up the vegetables In the garden.
| enjoyed the excitement of the game
for about ten minutes and then said
to the clerk behind the counter who was
refereeing the match: Can you tell
me where can buy sterling silver
birthday present for my wife which
could use afterwards as night key OIL
a bah sponge?"
Fifth floor; to the rear; take the ele,
vator!" said the clerk.
On the fifth floor | went over to Ia,
BILE where young lady was selling 1.-THE
Life and Libraries of Andrew Carnegie
at four dollars month and 80 cents q
week, and In three years II Is yours Il
you don't lose the receipts.
She gave me a glad smile and | fell
thrill Of encouragement.
Excuse me" said, "but am looking
for birthday present for my wife which
will make all the neighbors Jealous, AM
which | can use afterwards as an ash,
receiver or pocket flask"
The young lady cut out the glggles ant
pointed to the northwest.
| went over there.
To my surprise found another coun
ter.
A pale young woman was behind It.
was just about to ask her the fata
question when young man wearing 1
ragtime expression on his face rushed
, up and said to the young lady behind
, the counter: II am looking for a suiS
, able present for young lady friend o
, mine with golden brown hair, CoulC
/ you please suggest something?"
! The saleslady showed her teeth ant
answered him in a low, rumbling voice
/ and the man went away,
Then came an old lady who said;
Q bought some organdie dress goods 70
: a shirt-waist last Tuesday and woul
like to exchange them for music bo
: for my daughters little boy, Freddie,
{ you please'"