Danville intelligencer. [volume] (Danville, Pa.) 1859-1907, 1906-05-18
Brief News Items.
Compiled for TASTY Read
ers of the Intelligencer,
the Acknowledged Off
cial Organ of Little rlon-
tour County.

tour County.
Bass and salmon fishing opens June
10Th.
Just to show that he can perform
miracles, Dowie might pay Zions
debts.
In his spelling reform wonder if
Mr.. Carnegie would write it Steal or
Steel Trust.
A man never hears the best things
that are said about him, because he
is dead then.
White pine lumber costs to-day five
times as much in this country as it
cost in 1865.
Carnegie is the wisest of the Pitts
burg millionaires. He kisses pretty
girls in public.
Clean your premises, rake the lawn,
repair your sidewalks, and you will
find it is catching.
Job Printing of all kinds properly
executed at reasonable prices, at the
Intelligencer Office.
Dowie is willing to go away and
leave Zion City alone, if they will let
him 'take it with him."
Some people ask your advice for
the purpose of working it off on
others as original matter.
The 1ntelligencer Is at your service
as a news or advertising medium. We
await your commands.
Two-thirds of life's troubles are
imaginary, and two-thirds of the
other third are unnecessary.
San Francisco is collecting its
thoughts again and finds the whole
country ready to help in fresh
start.
Why does young man try to keep
on the Fright side' Of his best girl,
when he knows her heart is on the
left side.
Talk about the trusts They re
bad enough to be sure but the tyr
rany of fashion is the great oppressor
of the age.
Oratory is not lost art. A full
blooded Zulu has just won first prize
in a speaking tournament at Column
bia college.
There is plenty of evidence seen
daily between the teeth of minors to
prove that the cigarette law is still
being violated.
Mr.. Carnegie however, has not
abandoned his principles. Even in
the kissing game, somebody else has
to furnish half.
New Jersey has decided to substi-
tute electrocution for hanging, and all
condemned criminals in n. j. will be
wired to that effect.
Dissatisfied wives of Pittsburg mil
Gonaires, have no trouble in getting
the world to believe all they can say
about their husbands.
But Mr.. Carnegie, in his Tuskegee
Institute speech, failed to suggest the
spelling reform in negro dialect and
we are disappointed.
House cleaning time is here and
this is the way things look about the
house: Hme' oqe!Is' 4epIe' ploom
iii II o 90 80.
While it is interesting to hear that
money is easier, what we should like
to know is whether the people who
have it are ''easier."
A California convict has made
81, ,000,000 while serving a two year
service. 1t is the man on the inside
gets the money usually.
j. B. McMahan, a good old Dem
ocrat, of near Mausdale, was in on
Saturday and renewed his subscrip-
ton to the Intelligencer.
That Russian official who ''caught"
bomb that was tossed at him, should
have no trouble in signing with an
American baseball team.
Jacob w. Boyer, of Mausdale,
gave us pleasant business call on
Saturday. Mr., Boyer is jolly fel.
law and good Democrat.
It's wonder some of the prophets
who "foresaw" the earthquake would
not explain why they reframed from
issuing timely warning.
Mt. Carmel will have nearly {
hundred criminal cases at May court
and they embrace nearly every crime
known to the criminal code.
Politicians who are busy picking
presidential candidates, evidently dc
not think anything will happen be
tween now and election time.
Do unto San Francisco as yo,
would haye followed countrymen do un
to your own community in the houl
of calamity and urgent distress.
A man was sent to the asylum re
Gently because he wanted the moon
The people who want the earth ar
still outside. Watsontown Record.
Superior workmanship, the newes
type faces, the best paper and neates
press work, are cardinal features O
the Intelligencer iobbing department
Perhaps Prof Moore of the Wealth
er Bureau department really mean
that he would predict weather .
a. L