davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01
Joseph Jefferson on Marriage,
Everybody's Magazine for March.

Everybody's Magazine for March.
Joseph Jefferson was a strong be-
lieveri in early marriages, and he never
missed an opportunity to impress his
convictions upon young men. In an
address at Yale he said:
Il abominate bachelors. The old
or they grow the more conceited they
become | was talking to one and |
asked him why he did not marry. He
parried the question by telling about
different young women he had known
finding some fault with each one. But
it appeared that all ofthem had mar
ricd.
"'You are in danger ofgetting left,
said to him. You had better hur-
ry up before it is too late.
oh, said the bachelor, there are
Just as good fish left in the sea-
81 know that | said, but the
bait isn't there danger OF the bait
becoming stale?'"
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01
The North Carolina Teachers Assem-.
bIv,

The next session OF the North Car
Dina Teachers Assembly will be held
in Raleigh. June ID to -, 1906. The
executive committee of the Assembly
came to this decision few DAYS ago
after receiving an invitation to meet
there, extended them by the Raleigh
Chamber of Commerce.
The decision Of the executive com
mittee to meet in Raleigh will bp good
news to the teachers of the State.
Everybody likes to come to Raleigh.
Nowhere else can the teachers in 50
short a time or at so small expense
learn so much about North Carolina
as in the capital city, where they can
visit the capitol and various depart
mentS OF the State government
In the State Museum can I've found
fine display of the great and varied
resources OF the State. where lessons
can be learned in North Carolina ge-
ography and in North Carolina his
tory better han in all thu. books ever
written. In the State Library and
in the Library of the Supreme Court
will be found interesting and instruct
i've lessons in the his history of the
State. There are more schools in
Raleigh. with more teachers and more
pupils, than in any other city in
North Carolina Among these are
the North Carolina Agricultural and
Mechanical College. the North Caro-
lima Schools for the Deaf and Dumb
and for the Blind, ST. Mary's School,
the Baptist University for Women,
and Peace Institute. Other places of
| interest are the North Carolina Hos
pital for the Insane, the State Peni-
| tenti;lry, the Soldiers Home, the
Methodist Orphanage. etc.
The executive committee was prom
| ised that ample accommodations at
IL rate 81 a day in first-class board
lighthouses would be provided for as
many as 1000 teachers. and the rail
roads will offer the usual reduced
rates. Six large and beautiful audi
forums will be placed at the disposal
of the Assembly.
The program will be one of the
most interesting ever presented III
| Mort h Carolina and will be attractive
70 every class of teachers The Off
cers Of the Assembly expect no less
than 100 teachers to be present.
The officers are: President. DR.. W
I. Whit~ett, president of Whitsett
Institute, Whitsett, n c.; Vice-Presi
dent, Superintendent j. A. Matheson
OF the city schools of Durham, anC
secretary, Mr.. R. ID. w Connor, of the
State Department of Education, Raj
| cigh.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

How often do we near women say: ut
seems as though my back would break,
or Don't speak to me, am all out of
sorts? These significant remarks prove
that the system requires attention.
BackacAe and" the blues are direct
SYMPTOMS OF an inward trouble which
will sooner or later declare itself. 1t
may be caused by diseased kidneys or
some arrangement Of the organs.
Nature requires assistance and at once,
and lydia f. Pinkham Vegetable Com
pound instantly asserts its curative
powers in all those peculiar ailments of
women. It has been the standby OF
intelligent American women for twenty
years, and the best judges agree that
it is the most universally success
full remedy for woman's ills known to
medicine.
Read the convincing testimonials OF
Mrs. Holmes and Mrs. Cotrely.
Mrs j. = Holmes, of Larimore, North
Dakota, writes:
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
Il have suffered everything with backache
and female trOubie-I let the trouble run or
until my system was in such a condition thai
| was unable to be about, and then it was
commenced to Use Lydia Pinkhams Vega
table Compound IL Idu Only hHoHli NO"
much suffering / would have saved shoult
have taken it months sooner-for a few
weeks treatment made me well and strong
Ny backaches and headaches are all gone ant
| suffer no pain at my monthly periods
whereas before [ took Lydia E. Pinzham'
Vegetable Compound [ suffered intense pain
Mrs Emma Cotrely, 100 East 12tl
Street, New York City, writes:
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
q feel tiny duty to tell all suffering wome
Of the relief | have found in Lydia f. Pink
Aek EgrS Dinkhau,'S kdvice-A war
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01
PiaVinp en- Their Vanity.

A French anger catches fish by low
ering Il looking glass just back of his
bait Then The curious fish advances,
and, thinking it sees another fish going
after the juicy morsel. it gets 4 move
on itself and before it realizes what
has happened it has bitten something
that it fears will not agree with it.
That is his theory. but there is an
other possibility. The lady fish may
como up to see if it is true, as she fear
ed, that she is looking like a fright, and
what would be more natural than for
her to investigate the hook under the
impression thar it might be some new
kind of hatpin?
This device should help the fisherman
vho doesn't like TO make his lie out Of
whole cloth. as he could count the one
he caught and tie one that it looked in
the glass as though he had caught.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01
Misfits.

A lady meets gentleman
Ana fails in love straightWay,
And if tn man warns Up to her
What q" the noighb0rs say?
ooh. goodness mo. what can he see.
I'd really like to know,
In such Il pert and awful flirt
Who only wants his dough?
She cannot cook or write 4 book
Or even make q dress,
And he'll regret his folly yet
Unless l lose my guess"
His fellows at the club declare,
"Old man, she's won Il prize
But when he turns and walks away
They talk more on this wise:
Poor little miss. her dream of bliss
With him Will not be long;
In getting cash for his own hash
He never showed up strong.
So how can he keep two or three?
CThcre may be three some dayD
She'll find support is rather short
When he the bills must pay"
But still they marry and live on.
Each for the others sake,
And from the happy dream of bliss
They never 90 awake.
Each thinks tho other is Il prize
(What blunders folks do makeD.
And never DO they find il out
About their sad mistake
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

The less some people have 10 sly the
more difficulty they seem 10 experience
in keeping their tongues still.
When winter puts the iii 81 We'll lie
apt to get our fingers pinched.
When Il woman lets her tongue run
away with her it IS q brave man as
we'll as 4 rash one who will rush III and
try TO stop it.
Breaking into the newspapers seems
to stand for success with certain
class of people.
Trying to look intelligent often re-
suits in nervous proStration.
4 promoter is 4 man who makes any
old thing look like good thing.
This is getting to be such practical
age that the artist who makes living
IS no longer disgraced.
He who doesn't care for the morrow
is too apt TO find that the morrow
doesn't care for him.
The smile of fortune is too often
malicious grin.
| Sentiment. like sauces, must be Sc
lected with care with regard to both
| quantity and quality.
! Many 4 willing man never gets close
| enough to good thing to push it along.
/ A man wouldn't welcome q machine
/ that would do his eating for him.
No Meal Ticket.
son what charge did they lock -
| fellow up:"
"No visible means of support"
| mot married, then"
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01
He's a Cuckoo.
Detroit Free Press.

Detroit Free Press.
This story was told recently at a
smoker given by the alumni of the
University OF Michigan, at Chicago.
"a young man and his wife not
long married" said the relator Of
the incident, "lived down on the South
Side where they had Il pretty little
twO-story brick house. One OF their
wedding presents was q large clock
which told the hours and half hours
by means OF the cuckoo's cry instead
of by the usual chimes and sound
ings of n bell. One night the college
fraternity, of which the man was II
member, gave banquet, and it was
accordingly late when he arrived at
the front door of his home He
thought that discretion was the bet
ter part OF valOr, SO that when got
inside, he began to remove his shoes
before going up stairs. Unfortunate-
~ he was not very happy in the exc
cution OF this act, for one of his shoes
slipped and made q noise that could
be heard all over the house. A mo-
ment later his wi e's voice came from
the head OF the stairway:
rs that you CEnrles?'
Yes, dear
What time is il tharles?''
Bout -"
And then" said Charles. in telling
theincident afterwards, that blamed
clock began to cry out. But it cuck
coed only three times, and had tC
stand there like a fool and cuckoo
the other nine
1t Is nWfnlly hard To imnraSs mnSI
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01
THE GOLD LEAF
THURSDAY, MARCH 1, 1900
Stop the Paper.
Madison News.

Madison News.
I've stopped the paper-ycs. hev.
did't like to do it,
But the editor got too smart
And ! allow he'll rue it.
am IA man az pays his debit.
And ] won't he insulted;
So when the editor gets too smart
want to be consulted.
! took his paper 'leyen years.
An helped him all could, sir:
And when it comes to dunnin' me.
did't think he would, sir,
But that he did, an you can bet
| made it hot as thunder.
Says |, ''I'Il stop that sheet, | will,
II the cussed thing goes under
hunted up the measly whelp,
An for his cunnin' caper
paid eleven years and quit!
Yes, sir, I've stopped his paper
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

Charity begins at home when it IS
giving away money. 1t drops around
to the ncigIbOrs when it has load OF
advice 10 dump.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

hams Vegetable Compound, When com.
menced taking the COMPOUND I suiEcr !
everything with backaclleS, hcadaches, a. /
female troubles. am completely cured an i
enjoy the best Of health, and [ owe 1t ali
TO YOU"
When women are troubled with irrrss-
ular, suppressed or painful periods
weakness, displacements or liberation,
that bearingdown feeling, intiamma-
ton of the female organs, backache,
bloating Cor fiatulencei, general de
bility, indigestion and nervous prostr;l-
ton. or are beset with such symptoms
as dizziness, faintneas, lassitude, eGcit-
ability, irritability nervousness, sleep
lessness, melancholy, all gone" asa
want to-be-left-alone' feelings, blues
and hopelessness, they should remeln-
Der there is one tried and true remedy.
Lydia e. Pinkhan's Vegetable Com
! pound at once relno1eS such troubles.
No other medicine has such a record
of cures of female troubles No other
medicine in the world has received thi-
widespread and unqualified endorse
ment. Refuse to buy any substitute.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

I'll" worst thing about future good
sts-.s TO he that il 50 perSiStently re
m3ii- III the future.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01
Humor ano Philosophy
By DUNCAN N. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS

A photograph is a most unsatisfac-
tory thing. If it doesn't iatter you
YOU don't like it, and if it does your
friends are scandaliZed.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

: v,:Ian Of cXpcdicntS is as handy
lagc
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

The" are people who can do two
things at once and spoil but one.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

An appetite for sauerkraut may not
be as aristOcratic as one for ice cream,
but it is q heap more wholesome.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01
Wouldn't Last.

rs there such Il thing as modest
drummcr:"
There might he for one trip
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

I'd like to go:
I've longed TO oft.
But to the play
He will not so.
That's why say
He stands TO show"
Inconsistent.
"He is trying to live down his past"
Then why is he trying TO live I'D to
ftp
Being treated as one of the family
often has its drawbacks, especially
about mealtime.
A good line of talk often takes the
same direction as Il smooth line OF pro-
motion.
The foot that rocks the cradle gener-
ally wears slipper so loose that it can
be removed for action with very little
effort
The man who is standing around
waiting for lightning to strike him
would probably fall dead with surprise
if it were TO tap him gently on the
shoulder
The man With chronic crouch may
serve some usefu! purpose. but il
would break his heart If lie suspected
1t.
In the winter Of our discomfort tie
payment Of 4 debt that we had giver
up comes like January thaw.
The best joke Is the one that's or Tx
! other fellow
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

- O. two to make a bargain, I'M
less its Il bad one.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01
FREE ADVICE TO WOMEN

Remember, every woman is cordially
invited to write 10 Mrs. Pinkham j.
there is anything about her symptoms
she does not understand. Mrs. Pink
ham is the daught er-in-law OF Lydia E.
Pinkham, her assistant before her de-
cease, and for twenty-five years since
her advice has been freely and cheer
fully given to every ailing woman who
asks for it. Her advice and medicine
have restored to health innumerable
women. Address, Lynn, Mass.
Al; Best Understands g Woslan's Ills,
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

Divorce courts are clearing houses
for matrimonial obligations
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

1t is awfully hard to impress mosr
people with the Importance OF yout
Importance.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01
Disqualified.

Disqualified.
81 stand no show"
He said and sighed.
He loved her so
He could have died.
He stands no show"
She said and sCoffed.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

Before marriage Il man fears he can t
please his sweetheart. and after mar
riage lee knows lie can't and lets it 90
nj tha:.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1906-03-01

Crooked methods won't square with
a straight deal.
The weekly true Democrat. (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1905-1912, 1906-08-17

Special 1als 81 sammsF e Evans'
The weekly true Democrat. (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1905-1912, 1906-08-17
Leon County Paachaa.

One day last week Hon. H. T. Felkel
showed US some beautiful samples of
peaches that were grown by Mr.. Char
ley Rookie, in the upper portion of this
county.
Saturday there was on sale at Mr.. F.
c. Coles store several crates Of very
fine specimens that were grown on Mr..
P. L. Boatright's place, sandy lands,
about three miles south Of the city.
Also on Saturday DR. Gum brought
to this Office as pretty specimens Of
peaches as were ever seen anywhere,
which came from trees on Mr.. Daniel
Atkinson's place. near Silver Lake.
Mr.. Willie Roberts, in the upper por-
tion Of the county, has produced quite
a large lot this year which he has found
ready sale for at good prices.
Mr. Walton, on the Eastman place,
shows as pretty samples Of liberia
peaches as was ever produced in Geor-
gia or anywhere else.
With the proper care and attention
peaches, and apples, too, can be pro-
duced here a. easily and Of a. fine APP
pearance and flavor as can be found
anywhere else, and they can be pro-
dueed probably.
Why not make Leon county q great
peach, apple and tobacco county, OBJ
Jet lessons have been taught that ell
these viii pay.
The weekly true Democrat. (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1905-1912, 1906-08-17
JIM SiMPLETON.
DiRGinG for Gold.

News reaches US that for some time
Mr.. Winfield Cover, who lives four miles
east Of Tallahassee, has been prospect
ing for a placer mine" With many
years of experience gained by life on
the Pacific slope TO back his judgment,
as well as by the use Of certain instru-
ments, the resting place Of the yellow
metal has finally been decided upon,
while the cradle" rests hard by. The
work is quietly being conducted, pri-
vately, and, should the work seem prom
ising, a stock company will be organ
lied and things made to move rapidly.
Who knows what treasures old Icons
hills may hide? HI ,B.
The weekly true Democrat. (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1905-1912, 1906-08-17
Facts From San Franeiseo.

The editor Of the California Voice
writes from San Francisco: THE first
Monday morning after the reopening Of
the saloon in this city, July 3, 1906,
there were "a victims before the police
courts, as against the previous Mon
doy; II on Friday, as against on the
previous Friday, and the second Mon
day liz as against 4 the second Monday
before reopening. Never again can
man with ordinary intelligence argue
that high license reduces the evils of
the drink curse or that prohibition,
properly enforced, does not prohibit. "
For two months after the earthquake
the city was without saloon. During
that time the arrests were from to 6
per day, and the police complained that
they had nothing TO do.
The liquor dealers have this nation by
the throat Every politician denies this
statement, but ii is as easily proven as
any statement Of the multiplication
table.
The hquor dealers association de-
manded that the saloons be allowed TO
open in San Francisco, the license was
raised from $85 TO $500, and 2, 900 ga
looms are in full blast Since they re-
opened the police force has had to be
doubled, the women and children in the
refugee tents have been assaulted, and
extra guards have been hired to protect
them.
Before the disaster it cost the city
81, 0O5, $50 per year more TO patrol the |
city and make the arrests for drunken |
ness than the 8, 400 saloons paid for IL
censes
Isn't it queer how easily the average
intellect of municipal officials Is clouded /
by the flimsiest Of falsehoods from the
liquor dealers?
Would the struggle he difficult in Flor
ida 10 keep out saloons IL only the citi-
zens were heard from on election day? |
No! but the barrels of money and liter
ature, and the scores of agents with
their plausible, misleading arguments,
their treats Of cigars and liquors these
things are sent by the liquor dealers
into every county In every
State wherever q wet aud dry campaign
Is started. The citizens do not want
the saloon, bat some Of them are over
persuaded BY the willy, sneaking liquor
dealers 20 vote for the saloon
Every sober man knowa it u q curse,
morally and financially, 20 community.
.e-~~-~~~-~~N.~-~-~-~S~-~4-
anactai naia Al annneAnv NJ Fs,anag
The weekly true Democrat. (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1905-1912, 1906-08-17
nORR ABOUT PUMP SNAKES.
The PumP Snake Plan Locks All
Right On Pager.

Thomas T. B., writing from Deer
Valley, Arizona, August 4th, to tn,
Kissimmee Valley Gazette, has the fol
lowing humorous article on the pumI
snake and Governor Broward:
II Am Florida cracker, horned anC
raised on the St. Johns near Jackson
vile. No matter what my name useC
to be, have turned over q new leaf
quit marking Harry Dicks and am max.
ing living farming take an interest
in everything going on in Florida, and
am particularly interested in Governor
Nap 2roward's scheme of draining
the Everglades. have known Nap.
all my life. When we were boys to-
gether he was always called Nab, be-
cause he never missed chance to nab
everything in sight. Sweet potato pone
and custard were weak points with Nab
and he never failed to get his share and
as much more as possible. l have
thought from the first of il that Nab 8
last scheme had too much water in it to
pay well, but since reading the drainage
experts article in your paper of July
9th there seems a right smart chance
Chris Maling's way won't work; it's
bad farming, no drainage and no crop
You can bet ten to one, safe, he don't
make living; may bring in a sample
potato every season and tell the fellows
on the corner about his fine crop.
The pump snake plan looks all right
on paper. | wrote Capt. Menge for
particulars soon's had your paper, but
l reckon forgot to enclose a stamp for
a reply, cause up to now he has not
written me- We had all kinds of in
sects and reptiles on the st. Johns,
thought hut we never had the nuFnn
snake, least wise If we had we never
discovered his usefulness, and Capt.
Menge sure deserves lot Of credit FOR
his insight into the popularity of this
reptile. Now Deep Valley is not like the
Everglades. can see Il possible for
the pump snake to get the water out
where they only have to raise il about
eighteen inches in thirty miles, but
Deep Gulch is surrounded by hills two
hundred feet high. Now what | want
TO know is this: will these snakes hitch
up strong enough to hang up over these
hills, and can they pump water straight
up3 Deep Gulch Is the richest spot on
earth, but II the pump snake won't
work we will have to bore hole through
one Of the hills to farm it. Our Gov
ern0r Joe Kibbey says there Is plenty
Of room in Arizona for settlers for the |
next hundred years without deep Val |
ley, and won't put up the money to
bore the hole. When lived in Florida |
L didn't seem TO me it ever would get |
full Of people, but Nab must reckon |
hey are getting too thick, and he must
TX more room for 'em. Wish you
would tell me all about it in your next
ssue. I'D write Nab about it, but he's
Jusy.
The weekly true Democrat. (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1905-1912, 1906-08-17
LucKiest Han in ArKansas.

'I'm the luckiest man in Arkansas, "
writes H. l.. Stanley, of Bruno. "since
the restoration Of my wife health after
FIVE years of continuous coughing and
bleeding from the lungs; and ! owe my
good fortune TO the worlds greatest
medicine, DIR. Kings New Discovery
for Consumption, which / know from
will cure consumption IL
taken in time. My wife improved with
first bottle and twelve bottles completed
the cure" Cures the worst coughs and
colds or money refunded. At all drug
gists; SOC and 81 90. Trial bottle free.