The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-01-23

With Cabinet Muzzle Order-Skits
In Fake Wireless Messages and a
"Thought Transferred' Act Amuse
Guests-Witty Topical Songs.
Prominent guests were entertained
by the Gridiron club in Washington
the other night at the annual fall din
ner, says a Washington dispatch to the
New York Tribune The table at the
New Willard was spread for more than
200 persons, among whom were the
vice president nearly all the members
of the cabinet, foreign ambassadors
and ministers, senators and representa-
tives and prominent people from every
part Of the country.
The programme was unusually at
tractive, and the wit and humOr, the
various skits, the songs and the
speeches all tended to make the dinner
q memorable occasion among the many
given by this club of Washington cor
respondents.
A peace conference" composed Of
members Of the club, endeavOred to
settle disputes between many promi-
nent guests who were personated by
members of the club, but all was un-
availing until finally a messenger from
w. T. Jerome of New York, with bot.
tie of chloroform, put them to sleep.
The initiation of three new members
afforded an opportunity for real rOasts.
It had reference to the recent letters Of
the president to cabinet officers relat-
ing to the dissemination of news by
them. Three cabinet officers were per-
sonated, and they formed grand in
quisitorial commission, putting on the
rack the baby members for daring to
inquire what had taken place in cab
met meetings. The whole blame was
posed to represent Secretary Loeb, who
had Numbered" in sending a letter die
tated by the grand inquisitor.
Several dispatches We're received in
fake wireless telegraph apparatus.
They were read greatly to the amuse-
the following:
Hon. William B. Allison-Please advise
me on this point: Do you think a SEN
atorial career leads to a nomination for
president?
ROBERT B. LA TOILETTE.
Madison, Wis.
Robert Bacon, Assistant Secretary of
State-Aren't you glad to get out of it?
GEORGE w. PERKINS.
New York.
Hon. Charles Dick-Please get President
Roosevelt to duplicate to me the message
President Harrison wrote about falling
outside the breastworks.
MYRON T. HERRICK.
Columbus, o.
Hon. William II. Taft. Secretary Of War:
Dear Btll-It was all right to dissemble
your love, but why did you kick me down.
stairs? GEORGE B. cox
Cincinnati, o.
A Thought transferred" act afforded
another opportunity to pass quips upon
the prominent guests. Among the
thoughts thus transferred" and utter
ed by members, who We're blindfolded
and under the 'spell' of the operator,
were the following:
Shawl positively refuse to stay in the
cabinet after March 4, 1909.
Loeb-Nobody knows the trouble 1 have.
Taft-Whats sixteen millions between
friends?
Wilson-There's many a leak between
the cotton and the crook.
j. t. Morgan - Since my Cincinnati
Hamilton and Dayton experience / have
come to think there is merit in the gov
eminent ownership of railroads.
Moody-One big trust litigation in hand
Is worth two years more in the cabinet
Morton - Every insurance president
should have his own submarine boat
Shonts - oh, where is my wandering
canal tonight?
Aldrich-Some folks say sugar and oil
won't combine, but l know.
Cannon-There is no tariff on football
so revise it ali you please.
Beveridge-I can make a better speech
than any that has been made yet
Belasco-Aes L think it may fairly be
said that William Shakespeare was the
David Belasco of his time.
Lodge-A Goldfish from the deep blue sea
a highly protected article of commerce i.
to me and nothing more, but, for heay
ems sake. don't think 1 eat them.
The musical numbers included sew
eral topical songs touching different
prominent men about the table. On,
of them. parody ON a popular air
was Everybody Works but Fair
banks referring to the fact that th,
duties of the vice president are no
onerous. The chorus of the parod,
was as follows:
Everybody works but Fairbanks:
He sits up all day
Listening to the speeches
Made in the same old way.
Allison, Lodge and German
All are in the ranks.
Everybody works in the senate
But Mr.. Fairbanks.
Uncle Joe Cannon was celehra 70,
with dirge to the tune of "OId INCL
Ned
80 lay the tariff question in its gra.a-va
Along with railroad rebates meath III
dome.
There won't be any work for congress
now to do.
You might as well all go home
The menu was large blanket ballo
upon which the guests were groupe,
under different emblems and devices
There were tickets entitled Temple O
Fame" Finance Cinchsurance" "Rea
Railroad Rate Reform" Waiting Lis
of the Roosevelt Club" "Dem-Po Fo,
merly Republican Party" "Auntie Be
baters," ALSO Running" and auto
Reformers."