The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-04-06


turnip, a shortcake and some very
weak coffee. He hadn't time to say
anything before she observed:
81 think this will remind You of other
days. We hare been eating too much
and too rich food. AS you said. our
way OF living has made US all scou
drels and grafters."
Carrying II Too Far.
Mr.. Bowser had said so. and tiat's
why he didn't tip the table over then
and there. He flushed red and white
and toyed with his knife and after
awhile remarked:
81 want a simple life, as l saii but
1 don't want it carried into b~urlesque."
81 hope | haven't done So" she re-
pied. Il could haze had roast beef
and all that. but | knew you would
prefer something more simple. Help
yourself to some more of the turnip.
In the old pioneer days turnips were a
standby. If you'll get some pork this
evening, We'll have some warmed over
turnip and fried pork for breakfast.
Is the coffee to your liking. DEAR"
you call it coffee, do youT"
"Of cou9se. Does it taste like tea?"
st looks like Stops. | haven't tasted
it yet"
you will find it better than it looks.
l put in just one-t,lird of the usual al
lowance, or the same quantity that our
grandmOtherS used. Is the shortcake
nice?"
Mr. nyvcn prnf rod 1inor ro,,n hir
neck, but made 10 answer.
Sorry He Didn't Like 1t.
"I'm sorry if you don't like it. l
went to seven different groceries be-
fore I could find saleratus. I wanted
to make it the old fashioned way, you
know. We shall sac 81 a week by
letting Mary go, and it VII be more in
~consonance with the simple life for me
to do the cooking and Washing. Per
haps you can help me about the latter?
I'll do the washing, and you hang out
the clothes to dry"
"TI be hanged if l do" exclaimed
Mr. Bowser as he tapped on his plate
with the handle of his knife.
"Well, then, I'll have to n by
myself. I know that your grandfather
and mine often did the whole washing
and ironing too. If we are going back
to the primitive you had better get you
some wooden shirts. I can wash and
iron them and save your laundry bill"
Mr.. Bowser looked around for an ak
or crowbar. Neither was at hand, and
he showed back from the table and
An x,rc%,su1 Mn, @--,o HIIo-o
after a moment, to find him closely
scrutinizing a cigar he had taken from
a box on the mantel.
Cigars Too Expensive.
"What in thunder Go you call this"
ne asked as he held it out.
Why, that's a five cent cigar. L put
your others away. Our grandfathers
didn't ven smoke five cent cigars"
What's that old chair doing here in
place OF my ,:3r":::' Ir ;,;ked as he
threw away the cigar.
1.-The simple life she simply answer
ed. You have been wearing a pair Of
alligator slippers that cost $3.50. have
put them Away and bought you this
pair for p cents. Our f~crefathers had
no slippers at all. l viii Dr.lg your
Inst years ovprcoat and hat down to-
night, II you had better wear them
tomorrow. AS you said this morning.
we ar" dressing too well"
II there had been words in the Eng,
lish language to express his feelings
Mr.. Bowser would have used them by
the hundred. bat as he felt that there
was not he walked down the hail and
put on his things AID walked out. He
was boiling. He was seeing red. He
was filed with a desire to Stay and
slaughter. He had baited a trap and
waIned into it. Fate saved him from
an explosion that would have wrecked
a. happy home. He had just reached the
gate and kicked it open when a man
came along and called out:
Hey, mister. have you got a clock
that wants mending?"
Attacked Clock Mender.
"Have I got a clock?" fairly shrieked
Mr. Bowser. Have I got a clock that
wants mending at 8 o'clock at night?
Villain! ~Incendiary. Murderer"
And then from the front window
Mrs. Bowser saw a snow furry, like
two mad bulls would kick up in a pas
ture as they came together. An old
clock flew through the air. Two meu
fell down and struggled and got up
again, and then one Of them darted
away and ran for his life. The second
was somewhat mussed up as he fol-
lowed after. but she recognized the fig
ure as Mr.. Bowser's.
She waited until 8. but he did o
return. At 10 there was still no clew.
At II she went to bed. She was placid
and undisturbed. She new that SIM
pie Mr.. Bowser YVES making a simple
life of it somewhere and would return
with his hat on his ear and his over
coat split up the back. just as his fore
fathers used to do. N. QUAD.