Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-01-07
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

|
tons of a proper nature submitted to The
| Star Inquirers should write on one side
| of the paper only, and address their let
tiers to Uncle Jasper" Star Office. In case
| of difficult conundrums answers may be
! delayed for week or two. Consequently
| 1t will be advisable for all questioners TO
watch this column carefully.
Anxious.-What is the quickest way to
| reach the Emergency Hospital? A-cali at
the White House and insist seeing the
| President
a. F. LIS it considered good form to
wear an opera hat with pajamas? A
| No: derby. better, a soft gray felt, Is
| the proper thing.
| Soltx.-Is 1t true that Secretary TAFT
| rides horseback. Ave would hardly go
| that far. He has been seen on a horse on
several occasions while the animal was III
motion. The horse appeared melancholy.
| Good Form.-What is the proper way TO
use an oyster fork? A.-Takc the fork be-
| tween the thumb and first finger OF the
| right hand. insert the prongs between the
| fourth and fifth ribs of the oyster, slightly
| TO the left of the backbone and place on
the tongue. 1t is well to close the mouth
| promptly, as the oyster is inclined to be-
'restive in captivity.
| Legislative.-Wir you kindly ten me what
| Senator Spooner said the first time he
| alone after escortng his colleague. Senator
| LaFoilette, down the aisle of the Senate
| last Thursday? Ave regret that we
| cannot oblige you. Profanity Is not per-
mitted in this column.
| Innocence-Wil you kindly tell me some
| thing about the author OF the whipping
| post bill? Ave are surprised ut your
| ignorance. Representative Adams of Penn
| sylvania is the man. He is now serving his
| seventh term In the House. Mr.. Adams
| has answered number of roll calls ana
La a
/ voted several times. He is bachelor
That is all We can recolect at present
Aetive-During the campaign last fall
| congressman for whom l did some work
/ promised me a good government position.
a friend wagers I won't get 1t inside of
| year. What do you think? A.-Your friend
| Is too conservative.
| Extraordinarily give me a good recipe
| for terrapin a In Maryland A.-Pick out
| nice young terrapin of good habits and
| even temperament, remove the feathers
| plunge into boiling water and peel. Place
over slow fire, and when thoroughly
| cooked add three hard-boiled eggs. half a
| pound OF chopped celery, a piece of butter
| the size of a golf ball. a pint of sesdess
| raisns and dash of eau de cologne
| Freeze and serve with batter cakes and
/ maple syrup
Alphabetically tell me the name OF
| the prominent public man who was offered
| the nomination for the presidency and re
| fused it. His name has escaped me. A
| II has also escaped US.
| Damage Suit.-Do you consider it unluckv
| to be struck by an electric car on Friday?
| Ave are not superstitious hut must an
swer your question in the affirmative. The
| other days which interviews with rolling
stock are TO be avoided II possible Wed
| nesday. Monday. Sunday, Thursday. Tues
! day and Saturday.
Interested-Is it true that Robert F'itz-
| simmons has been offered important
| post at the White House? A-You forget
/ President n adVO-
| cate. Messrs. Fitzsimmons, Sharkey, JET
| fries Rubin and Philadelphia Jack o Brieu
| recently took a competitive examination.
| The percentages have not yet been an
| nounced.
| Trivial-Who is the most talkativc man
| in the cabinet? A.-Postmaster General
Cortelyou Questions to which the answer
! is d foregone conclusion will not be an
| swered in these columns hereafter.
Wronged.-I expect public reprimand
| from my employer next week What shall l
! do? A.-Say nothing while the reprimand
| Is going on. 1t is neither the time nor the
place. Be patient and hopeful. and the
| next time you find your employer alone
! kick him on the shins empty your foun-
tain pen down the back of his neck. He
| will laugh merrily and raise your salary.
| This last is an old and tried method.
Capital have little money to invest.
| VIII you kindly tell me the name of re-
| liable life insurance company? A.-Charity
! begins at home. The deserving poor IN
| Washington really need the money.
| Clever-Are chestnuts out of season? A
| We have seen no indication of the fact. We
| met Secretary Shaw on the street last week
| and had quite lengthy chat with him He
| was in a reminiscent vein.
| Observant-I saw a dozen or so of the
| big men in Congress at the White House
| the other day, and understand some i'm
portant business was under discussion. Can
you tell me what it was? A.-You are
| wrong; the gentlemen merely called to pay
| their respects. Important public business
is never discussed at the White House.
| Observation-Disclosures describe some
| method to keep the hands from chapping.
A-Remove the hands and place them in
sauce pan Simmer gently until tender.
| then remove rub we'll with bears grease.
dust with talcum powder and replace. IL
directions are followed carefully you will
| have further trouble.
| SociaL-What is the proper way to be-
| come well acquainted with a member OF
| the United States Senate? A-Senators ap-
pear dignified but in reality they have a
| keen sense of humor. Purchase a large,
| aristocratic cigar remove a portion of the
contents and fill with mixture composed
| of equal parts of red pepper and gunpow-
| der. Present 1t to the senator and await
| developments. He will become demonstra-
| tive almost Immediately
| Socially Inclined.-While attending
| dance recently beautiful young woman.
who was present with her husband, an ex-
| foot ball player, showed disposition to
| flint with me. What should | have done?
| A-The proper thing to do under such cir
| cjmstances Is to locate the fire escape and
| fitrt back.
Fearless.-What Is the best way to stop
| a runaway horse? A.-Stand quietly and
| without nervousness in the path of the APP
aching animal. When the horse is near
enough for you to see the whites OF his
| eyes draw yourself up and gaze at him re-
| proac hfully. If the animal does not stop
blend indignation with reproach If he
| continues to advance continue to look.
1t, rr,fn l1at. in anynr
UNCLE JASPER.