The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-11-04

kAr SN'T it funny' said the widow, as she thought
fully TWISTED the e. nta
sensation woman creates when she does anything
originate"
The bachelor glanced up apprehensively.
~ hope:, he began anxiousy' "you haven't been
''Of course not, Mr. Travers' interposed the
widow hurriedly ''I'm thinking about that Chicago
girl who offered herself for sale at her market value
Why should men be so astonished- ~
eve aren't astonished," protested the bachelor,
mournfully watching the transformation Of his sport
ing edition" into futed rutfle, cat anything you do
We're only hurt"
'tWhy9' asked the widow suddenly releasing the
accordion plats and beginning to fold them crosswse
because one of us has discovered that have
market values Because women are beginning to ap-
FOR value received9 HERETOFORE she went on, wav-
ing the edition dramatically "what has woman stood
for in the matrimonial equation9"
'x,' replied the bachelor laconically
The widow stopped suddenly with the wrinkled
paper in midair
81 don't know what you mean, Mr.. Travers," she
remarked coldly.
"x,' explained the bachelor is the unknown guam
tlty-the thing that keeps you guessing, and
"And YETI retorted the widow, THE minute one
Of us explains herself and becomes known quantity
man lifts up his hands in horror.'
I'm seltprotection, you mean,' corrected the bach
e!or taking out cigar and lighting 1t refectively
He doesn't want matrimony abolished altogether
which it would be if we all knew in ADVANCE
Not at all, returned the widow emphatically
'That 8 just what mean. If man knew in advance
exactly what he getting in the way of wife there
would be less disappointment and unhappiness after
ward. IT every woman were appraised and marked at
her true valuation before marriage fewer would be
tied up to SO per cent jolly and per cent cook''
=. "Or IS per cent tailor and Is per cent figure
added the bachelor thoughtfully.
"Wives," continued the widow, calmly ignoring
the Interruption woud be properly distributed at the
altar The misery old gentleman with his eye on his
money box would hesitate several times before
ing the girl with 30 per cent bonbon appetite or 90
per cent jewel fad He would prefer to tie up sensiby
to the comfortable old maid with an income of her
own and her heart in the bank; while the rapturous
young man in search Of sentiment would look with
cold eye upon the calculating of the world 40
per cent self-interest whom he ardently
1t wouldn't be the slightest temptation to Arabella to
palm OF store sponge cake Harold as her own
make, nor to lead him to believe that the imported
frock she wears Is her manufacture She would
know that the moment he got home and
the side to her disposition and the thin places
in her character he could" -
"Return her O. o. D. to papa and sue the old man
for getting money under false pretense finished the
bachelor enthusiastically. ~. = >:.
Marriage" went on the widow with an inspired
Look 1would be an honest-er-er-transaction ,,
"There wouldn It be any marriagen protested tho
bachelor ruefully cts only our illusions about
women now that lure us into it. It would be terribly
hard-' - -.