davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
GoRGoNZoLA CHEESE.

An English farmer went into a res
taurant in Liverpool to eat some bread
and cheese. What kind would YOU
like sir2' inquired the waiter che
shire, Yorkshire or GorgOnZola?"
Fancy name. that last" said the
farmer. Il think I'll try a bit o. that
He thought il 50 tasty that he took j.
pound home 10 his wife and left IL on
the sidehoard in the kitchen.
Next morning he came IN from his
before breakfast round and inquired u
she had found the parcel. "Oh, yes"
replied she. Il saw IL there all right.
And very good mOttIed soap il is no
doubt, when you know how 10 use II.
But l couldn't make II lather very well
when / washed the children and after
I'd done they Smelled so strong that
I've turned EN- out for a breath OF
fresh air, just to sweeten EN- bit be-
fore they so 20 choOI."-EXchange
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
CHAMBERLAIN'S SIGNATURE
is NOT PUBLIC PROPERTY

Joseph Chamberlain, the famous
British statesman, guards his sigma
ture as if it were among his most
valuable household possessions.
He has always been aveTse to too
freely dispensing his autographs. Quite
early in his political career he had slips
printed informing his correspondents
that Mr.. Joseph Chamberlain has been
obliged to make a rule not to give his
autographs.
on the other hand Lord Rosebery
has been known 10 accompany his au-
tograph with a humorous little note ad-
Vising his correspondents TO turn his or
her attention to something more useful
than collecting specimens Of handwrit-
ing.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
A NEAR-FABLE.

There was once a man who was con-
tinually talking about everything solely
for the purpose OF hearing himself talk.
As a Talkograph he had the phonograph
looking like a Christmas candle under
forty fathoms OF salt water. He said
black was white, right was wrong. and
that ne knew Hearst would be elected
He declared that Congress would be
Democratic by an Overwhelmingly ma
iority. and that Samuel Gompers wouid
make good.
Moral-The man who IS always shoot
ing OF his mouth is generally a poor
marksman.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
PINERO WORKS AT NIGHT
AND PLAYS THROUGH DAY

4. W. Pinero, England's famous
playwright. works at night by pref
erence.
He has an unusual method of writ
ing his PLAYS His working day does
not begin until that of the average city
man is over. In the morning he goes
ont preferably on his bicycle, return
ing "a time for an early dinner Then
he has "A comfortable sleep. and on
waking up. late in the afternoon. he
prepares for business After a cup of
tea he goes to his desk and remains
working at his play until IA into the
night.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
Girl Mother at School,
Father Also a Student
YOunq Man and Wife Pursue Studies While
Baby Few Months Old Is Left to Tender
Care of DOting AuntS.

CINCINNATI. Nov 14.-Mrs- Howard
James. OF Springdale, is pupil OF
Glendale College this year. Mrs. James
IS Just seventeen years old, and not
quite two years ago. when, as Florence
Lehman, daughter Of the Rev. Adolph
Lehman, pastor Of the Springdale Pres
byterian Church. she elOped with How
ard James. also OF Spriugdale, she had
just completed her second year Ia the
Glendale High school The bride was
then but fifteen, while the bridegroom.
son OF the late Rev. William II. James,
the former pastor of Springdale Church.
was twenty-three years old and a stu
dent Of Miami Medical College A few
months ago a daughter arrived 20 the
youthful couple, and was named Anna
Eliza beth.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
Making a Currency Plan.

1t would be a splendid educational
work if all the proceedings OF the
Currency Commission now sitting III
this city could be reported IN eX-
tense, and, being first properly edit
ed, published. 1t would be con-
vincing demonstration of the exist
enee of chaos in the financial "sys-
tenn of this country.
These bankers are assured that
whatever they adopt will be aPprov-
ed by the organized banking inter-
ests of the country, and viii have
good chance with Congress There
is practically no intelligent dissent
from the proposition that tieNibility
is absolutely needed in the cur
rency. Yet there is grave doubt
whether their work viii result in
the passage of the much-needed law.
Why? Because there is no money
system in this country. So elemental
n thing as reasonable elasticity Of
the money supply is almost impos-
sible. Instead Of a unified banking
system we have at least five sorts OF
banks in this country, with different
powers and responsibilities and ac-
countabilities. They are national,
State, savings, and private banks,
and trust companies.
The entire banking resources of
the nation ought to be arrayed back
OF the plan of credit currency; there
ought to be equality of interest in
and responsibility for it. Yet of
these five classes of banks only
onc-the national institutions-can
be brought TO bear their share of
the responsibility. It is like using
the national bank as buffer for
the whole financial fabric of the
continent. In other countries there
is something like unity of purpose
and responsibility among the bank
inc interests; here there is not.
The Chamber of Commerce plan
or "a CenLEdl DdIih bI ISSUE. II ~ bb
ably the scientifically correct one
But it is impossible. Congress would
not enact il. because the sentiment
of the country would not permit
Now comes a prominent Southern
Congressman proposing removal ot
the tax ON State bank issues, and
permission of State issues. That
likewise viii never he permitted
again. Experience with State banl
issues and with the Bank of tn,
United States has been abOu
equally unsatisfactory.
All these difficulties ought TO b,
understood by the people at large
The whole people get say in max
ing any financial plan for this ma
tion; hence the plan cannot be mucl
better than the understanding o.
the whole people On the subject
That is why a publication of tn
proceedings of the Currency Com
mission would be of special value
II would give plain people a chanc
TO understand the complications an
difficulties of the currency question
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

The young mother decided 10 conunue
her studies. and entered the Glendale
College this year for special work, so as
10 be better able 10 care for her little
daughters education. Spriugdale is bat
two miles above Glendale, and can be
reached on the traction ears in a few
minutes. so little Anna Elizabeth James
Is left 10 the care of fond auntes dur
ing the few hours of the day that the
girl mother spends in the sch0olTOom.
The young father also starts of each
morning with his bag of books for the
medical college Both he and his broth
cr. William H James. the young attor-
uey. were graduated from Miami Uni
versity. at Oxford Mrs James is very
popular at school where her striking
beauty and sweet disposition attract
many friends.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
OUR

Our literary department Is designed to
be a boon to the great horde OF strug-
Cling young authors VINO devote few
foments of their spare time once in a
while in the hope OF becoming famous
and amasslng a couple million dollars.
We have becn flooded with specimen
poems, essays, stories. and other things,
largely other things, from authors ana
authorinas who desire our expert ad-
vice, and have decided to give this sort
of advice gratis. Send in your literary
effgIsfg
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
TIMELY TIPS.

Too much flattery is nat.
Dogmatism's bark Is worse tndn lIs
bite. .
When a man gets Il crouch he Is
collecting wrinkles
Anyone can graft a family tree from
a plum tree.
When a listener hears good or hiIn-
self II is time TO wake up.
Late hours make early graves.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
TABLOID PHILOSOPHY.

A penny saved is a dollar burned.
II is the cranks that help make the
world 90 round.
The fat man is generally IN the big
gest hurry for dinner.
Money talks but its conversation lags
fearfuily with most OF us.
The way Of the transgressor is hard
on everybody
Many a fond hope is buried in The
dead letter Office.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
THE WASHINGTON TIMES WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER IA, 1906
escaped Through The Skinner
TEFFB7FR Gees,


Simple Simon went a-fishing
For 20 catch a whale,
Although he didn't catch a thing
He told a whopping tale!
Simple Simon went a-hunting
For 10 catch q hare,
But the head of eV'Ty man he saw
Was absolutely bare!
Simple Simon went 10 look
IL plums grew on thistle,
But eV'ry time he passed bar
he stopped 20 wet his whistle.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
''NRC''

Everyone should view each day some
choice work Of art not only for the
temporary pleasure u gives, bat Tor the
Lasting educational effects the old mas
ters have. Our art department viii,
from time 20 time, give our readers this
advantage without extra cost
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
LOCAL LIMERIcKs, NO. IS.

There was "A young man from J. Pain
Who ran half a mile for train,
But twas only his fate
To hnd himself late
And ali he could catch was a pain!
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

What became Of that Russian coun,
who insulted your
He choked TO death
''HoV did that happen
L made him swallow his words
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

There is little hope that the bankers
in session in Washington will agree
upon a plan for an elastic currency in
time To meet the Christmas demand for
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
CHANGED.

Are you the same man who ate my
mince pie last week.
mo, mum. III never be the same man
as-a in 60
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
HE BELONGS.
TERRIBLE DEATH.

Does be belong TO the 401?'
s'Yes. he's one OF the ciphers. '
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

The Rough Rider mentioned as a pos
sible Civil Service Commissioner is a
manufacturer of tabasco sauce. He
ought 10 warm things up a little.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

Germany's decision not to push her
plans for "A tariff war just now serves
TO call attention to the fact that Uncle
sam is the best patron of the world S
TOW maker.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

Count Witte will not talk of his polit-
ical future. There are no Whites in
American political life.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

Pittsburg and George Bernard Shaw
are still getting the kind of advertising
that does not pay.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

Harry Thaw is clamoring for a quick
trial. It would help some. too, If it
could be made a quiet one.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14
DR.. LIFE

Love a little.
Spurn a little,
Give a little.
Earn a little.
Laugh a little,
Cry a little,
Chaff little,
Sigh a little,
Work a little.
play a little,
Shirk a little
Pray a little.
Gr'a a little.
ScOwl a little,
Chin a little,
Howl a little,
Lose a little.
Take a little.
Use a little,
Make a little,
Run a little.
Lag a little,
Pun a little,
Brag a little.
Walk a little.
Roar a little.
Talk a little.
Soar a little.
Weep a little,
Breathe a little,
Sleep little,
Grieve a little.
Nope a little,
Pirate a little.
Hope A little.
Wait a little.
L'ENVOI.
And future generations
In our world Of woe and love
Can do no more than follow
LIES formula abOVet
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

The defeat Of the Statehood measure
for Arizona and New Mexico simply
means that a Iot OF good fellows from
those Territories viii spend the winter
in Washington again, as usual.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

Secret Service officials are reported TO
be on the lookout for cranks at Panama
during the Presidents visit. in spite of
Poultney Bigelow's assurance that he
was not going there any more.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

A Pittsburg paper is calling for re-
vival of the old plays. school for
Scandal" ought to make a great hit in
that town.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

Those land and timber syndIcates in
the Northwest are fTightfuly slow
about sending their expressions Of re
gret over Secretary Hitchcocks retire
ment from the Cabinet
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

sun. it doesn't sound just right for a
woman TO be so anxious to have her
husband take chances of freezing to
death in a search for the North Pole
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

Count Boni protests against being
called a brute, and ii does seem that an
apology is due the brutes,
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

II might relieve the appearance of dis
elimination II Uncle Sans experts who
have made Havana. Manila, Panama
and Porto Rico sanitary, were assigned
TO duty in some Of the public buildings
and tenement sections Of the District.
Your failure to get any OF that $50.
600, 900 which Mrs. Russell Sage was to
distribute among worthy and deserving
persons" is explained. The distribution
has been postponed indefinitely.
Secret Service officials are reported to
be on the lookout for cranks at Panama
during the Presidents visit. in spite of
PouItney BigelOws assurance that he
was not going there any more.
sun. it doesn't sound just right for a
woman TO be so anxious TO have her
husband take chances of freezing TO
death in a search for the North Pole
Those land and timber syndIcates in
the Northwest are frightfuny slow
about sending their expressions Of re
gret over Secretary Hitchcock's retire
ment from the Cabinet.
Count Boni protests against being
called a brute, and it does seem that an
apology is due the brutes,
A Pittsburg paper is calling for re-
vival of the old plays. school for
Scandal" ought to make a great hit i'm
that town.
The defeat of the Statehood measure
for Arizona and New Mexico simply
means that a iot OF good fellows from
those Territories viii spend the winter
in Washington again. as usual.
Harry Thaw is clamoring for a quick
trial. 1t would help some. too. If it
could be made a quiet one.
Germany's decision not to push her
plans for "A tariff war just now serves
to call attention to the fact that Uncle
sam is the best patron of the world S
toy maker.
Count Witte will not talk of his polit-
ical future. There are no Whites in
American political life.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

Your failure to get any OF that SS0.-
900 which Mrs. Russell Sage was to
distribute among worthy and deserving
persons" is explained. The distribution
has been postpOned Indefinitely.
The Washington times., 1906-11-14

And future generations
In our world Of woe and love
Can do no more than follow
Lies formula above!
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-06-27
MUST WIN BY
A KNOCKOUT
LUNptU WILL HAVE TO DO AIS
WORK EARLY To WIN FROM
STANTON - TOM coRBETT
WILL REFEREE.

The fight tonight a. nfnmertou
between Hobbie inndir and Walter
Stanton IL purEilng the sports Nho
ara trying 10 pick the wlnner.
landie In a legitimate lightweight
while stanton Il the light weitef
champion Of Chicago The articles
call for lt0 pounds finFside, aud u
Is question Il l.undic can give
away - much weight 10 man Of
stanton class
The fight should be a hummer. "a
Lundle appreciates the fact that II
be ~ aolng 10 Aln. e viii have 20
b. BY tho knockout route. aud it
Nili have 10 oome Ia the early part
OF the fight. for. should the battle
20 over ~ rounds. the extra weight
Ia Atantou.a favor Is bound 90 tell
stanton himself IL no SLOUGH
when Is comes to landing a hard
lwaiion and he probably figures the
soansf he puts Lundie away. the
bettef reputation he siii gain
sauuna the Northwest and the bet
tor chance BE- all have Tor an
other match
Tom Cofbett a brother OF the
former champion. viii be the ref'
cree
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-06-27
NOW IT'S HOLLY
AND CANS
BALTIMORE nov HAS AGREED
TO TERMS AND Has WIRED
FOR TRANSPORTATION -
WILL MEET IN LATTER PART
OF JULY.

Joe Cans against Dave HollYi
That II what the Seattle fiRht
lovers will soc at Pleasant Beach
the latter part Of July. Manager
Daley Of the Pleasant Beach club
received a wire from Cans last
Night stating ba would flEhf Holly
ans asking for transportation. Thia
will be- furnished and Cans will go
into training Immediately upon his
arrival here
Daley stole march on the Han
Francisco and Los Angeles pfOmot.
ern when be signed Cans. as they
have been trying 10 get him 10
aiEn for a fight with Nelson A.
Nolan has refused 10 let Nelson
light with the ooiored boy. there
was nothing doing, and Dailey step
ped ia the breach eith bis offer %
a purse Tor The winner Of the Holly.
Cans fight
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-06-27
AWFUL ANXIETY
OVER THE RACE
HARVARD AND YALE CREWS
i Arc DOING INDUSTRIOUS
STUNTS IN PREPARATION
roH TOMORROW.

Tho annual boat race between the
Harvard aud Yale Fights will take
place tomorrow az New London
The crews have been training for
DE past month and the race Is ex.
pccied 70 be- very close. Last re.
ports from the scene Of action via
The Stars wireless service are "a
follows.
In the Harvard crew No. Z "a
aplashing no badly that the other
oarsmen are calling loudly for UNI.
breliaa.
Both Harvard and Yale are de.
voting considerable practice to
faintinK The work n fine aud
there n evcfY prospect that not a
man on the losing crew will be
conscious ~ the finishing line.
Reports 81 the spring examina.
tons viii be kept from members
81 both crews until after the race.
At a conference ~ Harvard
coaches today Il VAS decided that
unless No q lays on he oar con.
harder be might as well
glfe hts giri not 90 spend her
fathers money for q seat on the
observation train.
The weather Is very impartial. A
day 81 blue aky was closed With a
crimson sunset. but neither fact
has affected the betting.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-06-27
COLLINS is our or IT.

In the tennis tournament for the
English championship now being
held at Wimbledon. kruigh Collins
Of Chicago met bis finish ia the
third round. being beaten 10 close
match hy X Powell By score Of
"a. So, 81. 4e. 60 Little. the
other American competitor. IL atili
in the tournament. 8H he beat +
I q. Ripon Ia tire second FOUND
CT, 81. u lie also won a match
by default in the third round
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-06-27
BURNS HAS A
SEVERE colo
TOMMY ASKS TO HAVE DATE
OF scHHEck FIGHT POST.
PoNEo. AND cLus ACCOM-.
nooATEs HIM.

Tomfay Burns wired the proHpt
efs 81 the Twin city Athletic eiut
last niEht. asking that hla fight
with Mike eehreek hs postponed
Until July -. an he "a suffering
from severe cold The club agreed
20 this and Tho forfcsts Of both the
Fighters and the club wiil be post.
81 Ia = few days
The clubhouse In which the fight
Win take place la nos helms built
~ Milton. which IL about half way
between Seattle and Tacoma. on
the lntarurhAa. When built n Wiil
hold ahont 5000 people and the
price Of asata Wii range from tie
doNn "a 81 so The Barns sehreck
Tight will be the frat cuatest held
In the clubhouse.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-06-27
SEATTLE oars HOUSEHOLDER

Eddie ilouaaholder has been We.
cured by Russ Hall 90 take Jack
Walters place In rightfield Eddie,
while not az good an inside player
az Walters. IL a much better hitter
aud much faster on his feet Han
has also secured phenum from
snohomlah named Isanl. sbom he
discovered last Monday, 20 play
leftfieid. The 81 Louis baseball
club has not paid tho second Ia
alallment Of the money due for Pug
nennett, aud II Il IL not paid SHORT
" nennott will be sent back here In
Seattle uniform
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-06-27

There VAS great rejoicing among
the female contingent when Fuany.
side won. a. nearly every woman
IN the grAadztana had bet down
fruk MeSh@rry stood to win a
bunch II Laura =. " had won. a.
he BET tNoe ON the maru.s chances.
II was said NJ the track that ".
u kenaery had won g. 500 when
Mtercure won the last rRee Monday
Harry StnseF started off well By
PLAYING Eilard. bat lost bunch on
Hsgerton When q friend asked
him who he liked IN the sixth race.
Slower raspcd Out 4 don't know
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-06-27
WILL ADVERTISE FAIR.

The Northern Pacific railroad
viii advertise the Alaska Yukon fair
as widely ~ Il did the Lewis and
CLARK exposition. and also put en-.
cafsiOn rates into effect A. N
Cieland. general passenger agent.
made this statement yesterday eft.
eruoon Just before starting for st
Paul
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-06-27
FILES CROSS COMPLAINT.

Lester Turner. az guardian for
Edward Chiopack. OF the chiOpeek
Fish company. who IL insane.
filed an answer and cross com
plant 20 the suit brought May 10
In the superior court by Frances
Chlapoek. mother of Edward. for n
redistribution OF the estate Tho
defense H. that the suit WAS not
brought Until three years after the
estate vas formally settled Ia
rnlIEI
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-06-27
SIX FAvOR|TES
BOWLEO OVER
PUBLIC Is GIVEN A SEVERE
TRIMMING AND BOOKS HAVE
TIE BUsr DAY or THE
MEETING - BENTON HANOI.
CAP rAls AFTERNOON.

"tsnod thlngs" were thicker at the
Meadows yesterday than hlaekber.
rins In August. but when Il came TO
cashtas ia an them there WAS moth.
ine dolng To add 20 the dismay
of the hVttora SIX favorites lost IN
= row. and many ribbon clerk
Who had determined during the last
few DAYS 20 become a sccon6 Pitts
burg Rhll, was hack AZ the etore
this morning booking Tor HIS old iob
Utica. Ryron Rose. Kinder. nager'
dea. laura NJ, The Mist and
watereure we're aii handed out as
the cant lose kind. and PLAYED
for thous.nds of dollars, bat rot
one came home Ia front Npster
day was the best das the book
have had since the opening 81 the
meeting aud every one quit big
winner on the day.
Elerd Wins First.
Kinder was hacked down from %
eawn 10 % "a the first race. bat
failed % deliver the goods. the win.
ner turning 40 IN Ellerd. 6 Ga !.
with Mcbride un TrnmNay and
Etba. AZ To I each. ran second and
thlrd. while the fav0rite. Irish Jew.
blew up In the stretch and ran no
where
Utica hooked like a eopperFiveted
cinch In the second racu and ives
backed from 8 to , down 20 S to s
She led rlEht 20 the wire when
Walter Eckles finished strong aud
won By a head Lucy C.. after 3
bad start. ran third The winne.
was played BY select few and
backed down from s to 70 l.
In the third race BYRON Rose
was hacked from 10 20 l and AZ
ter getting awar very badly. ran d
sweh race and sas only beaten .
length b. Rudabek. : 90 /. Niona
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-06-27

WAS second 10 yaraa from tho wire,
but tired and was beaten by both
nyrou Rose and nueilst
Play laura =, A.. o
Laura + NJ. was played like Il
VAS al over IN the fourth aud her
odds went from to l down to :
60 1. ilagerdan also received a
heavy PLAY. while The Huguoaot
went back from TO ; TO II to s.
Hagerdon led all the way 70 the
stretch. where he tired. aud was
passed hy The HuEuenot aud Miss
May Howdiah. 30 TO |. who finsahed
IN the orier named. Hakerdou last
Ell Iona enough 60 be third. head
tn front of Laura y NJ
. Jol, In the Firth.
The talent aot their hardest blow
IN the ftfth. So much money was
bet ON 1&e Mist that the hooks
refused TO take any more. her odds
Folne down from : TO TO 60 8.
funnyside was the second choice Al
3 10 5, The money bet on The Mist
vas all burned np At the post. as
he was Kicked aud badly cut. a
small artery being severed On &C.
count OF the cut The Mist finished
outside of the money Funny side
led all the way aud ven easily
In better than truck record time.
judge ran n good race and was
second length IN front or Peggy
e'Neai Il Is doubtful u The Mist
could have beaten funnysidc. Il the
accident had not occurred,
watercufe's Poor Race.
The public tried 60 get even on
the day In the last race aud backed
Watorcuro frcm down 10 s TO 8
tie ran a bad race and finished out.
eide the money After Lucian had
set the pace for the first half mile
Dewey moved up and took com
mand. winning In a drive by a
length. pixie lad made a great
stretch run and beat Lueian two
1 ltngtha Tor the place
The Renton Hantleap will be run
this afternoon and should prove 4
good race There vii undoubtedly
be biz crowd out. a. field much
better than the ordinary will 50 10
the post
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1906-06-27
JONES'
GREAT WORK
iLL.FArEp ONE curs THE HITS
DOWN TO a MINIMUM AND
COVERS UP THE RGFuoEEs.
IN GRAND STYLE.

oscar Jones got rid II the 81 luck
which has pursued him at Hcerea-
ton park yesterday and 10 spaflnE
of bis hits Vas he that the Refugees
we're ahle 90 gather u bat two runs,
aud one ~ these was four sack.