Gilpin observer., 1906-01-18
Phone, Central 106
OPTIGRAMS

Artists assert that in ninety nine cases
out OF every one-hundred, the left side
OF the American girls face is more be-
autifu than the right, but nothing is
said about ankles.
A Joplin doctor states that pie is more
harmful to the stomach than beer, but
before taking to beer in lieu of the great
American food, let US know whether
this physician experimental on himself
or rabbits.
The Philadelphia man who offers to
give half a million dollars toward the
erection of Hall of Shame" with
which to immortalize the modern graft
er, ought to have his name and address
carved good and deep in the Hall OF
Fame"
A Royal Gorge-It is stated that, in
addition to the other numerous edibles
set before him at dinner, the Emperor OF
Germany eats five eggs, long string OF
frankfurters, and drinks two bottles OF
beer.
Kansas Cannibalism; from the Aitch-
ison Globe-It is question which caus-
es women to triumph more over other
women getting handsome present
from her husband, or securing the
preacher for dinner.
Andrew Carnegie pays an expert or
ganist $4,000 day for awakening him
every morning at seven with pipe e-organ
ln,, 1ln -hD pnp
get up earlier than that with only the
aid OF his wifes mouth-orgau.
Az exchange states that the wettest
place on earth is in Cherrapunji, Assam.
wherever that is-the average rainfall
for the past ten years being 81 feet But
there 10 Sulu, where the Sultan reigns
all the time.
Some scientist has discovered that
mans sense of hearing is much keener
while his eyes are closed; this may be
the reason why so many of our people
assume sleeping posture in church.
In Montana, recently, father of six
eloped with a mother of five children, in
which case it looks to man up tree
that the joke is on the parents that re-
manned at home with the kids.
The editor OF the Bladder wonders, ed
itorially whether John D. has anything
to do with setting the price on Der
Kiaser's oil portraits of himself.
Professor Tomlins of Chicago states
that the desire for graft can be taken
away from the rising generation by in
fuslng into our children's hearts love
for music and dancing. 1t will be noted
however, that good many of the pres
ent day grafters are dancing pretty
lively quick-step about this time.
Scientific research has revealed the
fact that when hen lays two eggs on
Sunday, the Monday egg is only shell.
game.
When it comes to paying the bills,
most of US will agree that the average
dentist is pretty good extractor.
The Voice Of the Press-An eastern
syndicate is working up proposition
wherein it proposes to furnish subscrib-
ers with talking machine at the break
fast table, all primed and loaded with
not only the latest news of the day. but
list Of all the bargain sales for mother
Bartered his Sole-A San Francisco
fiend recently pawned one of his shoes
for nickle with which to buy swig OF
Chinese gin.
Westward the Star etc.-Recent sta
tistics issued by the Department Of Ar.
giculture show that more beans are eat.
en- per capita in Chicago than in Boston
Now indeed do pork and beans go to.
gether.
A Centervlle, Washington man re.
Gently married his mother.in law, but
gossipers are undecided as TO whether to
lay the blame on Cupid or hypnotsm.
Different from a man-Why is il that
woman always giggles when chasing
after a street car.
Now that rubber shoe strings are com.
ing into general use it is hoped that rad
ical reformers will be considerate enough
to stop dangling tho evil effects Of tight
lacing before our eyes
GoosENFCK.
Good Repartee.
a linn nf a 1a1, III