The Minneapolis journal., 1906-08-15
A String of Good Stories
A DREAM REMOVED.
az cannot tell how the truth may bel
say the tale as twas told to mo"

". America 70 design uniforms for the army,
was talking in Philadelp pha about American clothes
.sI have only hattering things to say Of the best
american clothes - said Mr.. Winter. ''They don't
differ at all from the best London clothes They are
made of pure soft sufs that fall in graceful lines
They are cut with propriety. They are worn with
distinction. .. .
Hard things have been said here "a, abo9t @ English a
in ignorance. Whether they spoke in ignorance or
not, only say of the best American clothes that
they are among the finest clothes in the world.'
Mr.. Winter, his hands in the pockets OF his we'll
cut coat, laughed.
~ don't, you see,' he said, "repy harshly to
my attackers. I like young girl whom I
heard bookseller tell about.
ga young failed to turn up at dinner, tho
he had accepted the invitation. He sent word Of
excuse but the next day he called and said to the
I only called, Morris, to apologize for
disappointing you last evening" but really couldn't
"'Oh, don't speak of. it, the young lady an
swerea- I'VE forgot about you entirely till after
everybody was gone when rather happened to notice
that the decanter the sideboard and the box OF
tbem.'"
CASE FOR cLEvERNEss.
II ERBERT KNOX SMITH, the brilliant deputy of
II the bureau of corporations, said in Washing
ton, apropos Of certain illegal acts:
s 'Those acts illegal. But the question Is,
the law get at the perpetratorss
II am afraid it can't. For these poor,
and monetary punishment is the only the law
of certain housewife heard about the other day.
''This housewife, strict woman, said to new
maid:
anything III have to take it out Of your wages
s'But Maude whom two days had heartily siekened
iof her berth, replied with merry laugh:
i- ''Do it, ma am do it. I've just broke the 500
vase in the parlor and if you take that out Of
B4-foz I'm leavin' at the end of the week-why,
you'll be mighty clever.''
DEADHEAD.
z RANCIS WILSON was talking at the Players
l club about the ignorance Of dramatic literature
that is too prevalent in America.
"Why," said Mr.. Wilson, ga company play
ing *she stoops to Conquer in small town
last winter when man without any money, wishing
to the show, stepped up to the box office and
said:
'ssPass me in, please.
fsss Soa S Mha c1 c asfsd laugh
''The applicant drew himself up and answered
haughtily:
,t, q What foEa 49,, Why because am Oliver Gold
'''Oh beg your pardon, SIR replied the other
in shocked voice, he hurredy wrote out order
for a box''
THE SEA-
CAPTAIN DUGGE of the Hamburg American liner,
~ Prnz Oscar, stood by the rail his handsome
boat neared Gibraltar.
The day was fine, the sea blue and sParkling and
a pure, cool wind blowing
"How beautiful the ISL said Captain Dugge.
!'Did you witness the wonder Of those who SEQ
the for the first time2
"Once [ saw two peasants in such circumstances
They gazed at the boundless spread Of rolling blue
water with awed eyes. Then one said:
q Amazing! Who would have thought there could
be much water that7'
YES said the other And remember, Fritz
you only see what is top.''
4 DOUBLE ENTRY AND DOUBLE DEALING
I UDGE LINDSEY of Denver is foe to the modern
business methods that have brought such world
wide contempt upon America
eff great businesses hereafter are to be conducted
as they were conducted in the past,'' said Judge
Lindsey, all our business terms and definitions VIII
have to be readjusted
''We might begin, for instance, with double-entry
bookkeeping, and in the business colleges, when the