The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-01-28
JASPER JOURNALIST
IS At ITS BEST HERE
FERNDALE BUGLE HAS TOWN
TOPICS BEATEN A MILE.
Lake Minnetonka s Exclusive Social
Colony in a Furore Of Excitement
Over Appearance Of Spicy Chronicle
Juicy Personals and Hard Knocks
Furnish Joy Galore for Readers.


Residents of Ferndale, Lake Mime
tonka s exclusive social colony, are in
a furore of excitement over the first
appearance on Friday of the "Fern-
dale Bugle." The Bugle is fresh,
breezy four-page sheet, displaying I'M
mlstakable earmarks of the sawdust
print and real, simon-pure, double
dyed Jasper Journalism. In makeup
and matter it compares favorab1y with
the average weekday morning news.
paper Of the real city of Minneapolis.
The "dope'' is well balanced &C.
cording to the Jasper rules, being taste
fully distributed over the sheet in the
form of alleged news, so-called edito-
rails, alleged special correspondence,
want and display advertising, poetry,
and general ox-fibre.' The otherwise
blank spaces are filed with anything
at hand. *1># 49, -
Some Juicy Personals.
The last issue put the publication in
the T. Topics class, for it fairly driz-
zles with juicy personals, to-wit, the
following: - ~ -, #-'}~ 49,.
Erred Wells, with his usual business
foresight, has rented from his brother
in-law, George Peavey. his farm known
as Highcrop. Fred expects to make
money off it, as it only takes fifty men
to keep these two acres under cultiva-
ton. George sold his entire crop last
year for $43.30. Crop consisted mostly
of peonies, verbenas and hay. We wish
Fred every success -
Another ''lemon'' reads as follows:
"Walt Hefelfnger expects to be
called to Washington soon to again re.
fuse civil service appointment -
Libel may follow the publication OF
this: "Lon Rand is thinking of chang
ing the name of his place from REQ
| Top to Blue Label. 49,.
This is run as an awful wallop fol
somebody: "We notice our friend
Brooks has skinned the cat for 6
| new auto coat. Bill certainly is nobby
in his machine and would stack up vel
with some of St. Paul's gent drivers
One D. NJ. Chute offers for sale ~
large part Of Lake Calhoun. Property
is perfectly solid. I own it all.''
In Cupid's Corner.
In Cupid's Corner there are som,
luscious morsels of living truth pro
pounded by one Miss Hyacinth, who i
evidently wise. Perceive!!!--
"Dear Hy-I am very attractive
but my husband spends lot of time
playing bridge. What do you adviser
To which Nine. Hy replies: "Don y
be too coldly Indifferent to other men
A lot of good ones don't know VIVA
bridge is and have quite a lot of time
to spare.'' Not so dusty for farme,
lass, is it9 There are lot more swipe
at the men, too.
A very Jointly piece Of display ad
. vertising bears the name of one f
Duplex Blakeley, dealer in Funn,
Face; ) Curiosity, Antifat, Hair Restor
er and Nose Paint in Quarts. Mr.. B
Identifies himself as "Formerly can
vasser for. the St. Paul Midnite Direc
tory."% l1r II,
The price of the sheet is something
only $50 per year in advance. Fo
some reason the subscription list doe
not appear
Wayzata and Ferndale are abou
twenty miles west of Minneapolis, an
belong to Jim Hill because they are O.
his railroad. In both cases the raj
road runs as far into the settlemen
as it can without going to sleep
winter.