The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1906-02-09

look in the twelfth round, and served
'em everything but Solid Roast-beef
Facts on a hot plate.
"The thing went bully till the E'ebru-
airy number, and. no questions asked,
but 1~fell down hard on that issue.
"The Big Winning I had made by cop
pering my own tips to the Public on
AmAlgamated made me overcOnfdent
and l missed a right swing for little old
Wall Streets Groggy Jaw.
Il had to make good to the magazine
for about 400,0 600 unsold copies, and it
learned me a lesson much and plenty.
Il got the public with me again on the
next issue by serving another round of
Copper Cocktails and printing some
fake Nursery Talk between me and
Rogers.
Next to the Real Thing-which I'll
never give 'em. because l don't W one,
and because it isn't necessary to me
game-the People love to hear me tell
what Rogers said when he tried to buy
me honor, and how l said, looking q
Straight Flush into his deep, sea-green
lamps: Villain. take back your greasy
pipeline gold; I had rather a thousand
times he a Cob Of Bad Grammar in
Faultless Boston than be your plaything
in New York and fill Your Can with My
OIL"
What about your Remedy?"
MY Remedy? Why, Addie, you
make me think your head is a Punk For
est.
Il V had one Doctor Bunyan has
had a corner on the remedy market ever
since Holy Moses Played Marbles, and if
I can only keep the Public's Ears un-
reefed half as long as he has held up his
finger without changing hands I will be
satisfied way down to the Grass Plot.
participation is the Opium of Joy;
and it's up to me to encourage the Pub
lie Dope Pipe.
II am for s%tringing the Dear Public
till I have added a Fat Few to me bank
roll and made Rogers and his pals un-
derstand what Getting Even means
when set to Little-german-band music
by Yours Truly.
Its the old game of throwing high
moral dust in a mans eyes before you
divorce him from his stuff. People go
dippy over a noisy reformed Money
Drunkard and even trust him with their
Tooth Brush when he tells how bad he
was before his soul woke up and
Stretched.
I'VE will just pound the market
through the papers and magazine till
we scare the people into Selling. Then
We'll Buy, let the suckers get their sec
ond wind and boost the prices, then
We'll Sell. It's easier than vending
Beauty Powders to an Old Maid"
ION the level, Tommy, have you quit
the Oil Crowd for good?"
"You NEAR me divorce from the Oil
Bunch? Sure yes, I'm their green-grass
widow all right. 1t was this way: after,
I beat you to them on the Gas PROPOSE
ton we were as thick as prickly heat on
a summer baby. OF course, Rogers Held
Out on me when the Amalgamated Cop
per Lambskins were divided, but l ex-
pected that. 1t was a case of dog eat
dog, and he had the longest teeth.
Il gave him a moving picture talk OF
how it tasted to get the Short End of a
thirty-five million dollar killing where
l was the Particular Guy what had
faammed the suckers into buying mines
for $75,0O0,000 which only cost 100000
900. But the real cause of our Red Rag
ing Split was their getting next to me
ringing in a cold. deck in the shape of
Trinity Copper:
."They are a little too nice for me, with
their understanding blend. I'm for
straight Understanding red liquor,
and what's more, I've got to be Head
Hog in the Pork Park, or l won't play
acknowledgements with any Herd.
is rightity-right
when I'm the rosey: but nixey-nit when
otherwise"
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
Copyright, 1905, by &. w. Dillingham; Co..