davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
Increased pav for officers

The Herald ind0rses most heartily the
movement initiated by an officer Of the
pay corps of the navy for a 20 per cent
increase in the pay Of officers and en-
listed men Of the army. the navy. and
the Marine Corps. It is hoped that the
Military Committees Of both Houses of
Congress viii include in their estimates
for the support Of the military estab-
lishment the proposed increase. The
present pay Of both officers and men
was fixed soon after the close of the
civil war, when a dollar went nearly
twice as far as it does now. The general
wage scale OF the country has been great
" raised in the forty years that have
passed since the schedule Of compensa-
ton Of the nations defenders was ar
ranged. The reason Of its remaining
stationary belongs to that category of
things controlled by Congress that can
neither be explained nor defended.
Whenever the subject of increasing the
pay Of our soldiers, sailors. and marines
is discussed the stock argument is pre-
scented that our rate of compensation ex-
ceeds greatly that Of Europe So does
our general wage scale. But the condi-
tons Of military service in Europe and
the United States are entirely different
officers in the European armies or navies
must be independently rich or they are
practically barred by the established Gus
toms Of those countries from holding
commissions. But although their pay is
less than that Of the military officers in
the United States, the European officers
have allowances which make up in large
part for the smallness of their regular
salaries The allowances to our officers
are virtually nil. In the case Of the en-
listed men they are little better In point
Of fact, the enlisted man in our army, ma
w, or Marine Corps receives allowances
in lieu of money which TO his brother I'm
Europe seem big. But even this does not
afford a proper and adequate compensate
for his services to the country. The basic
pay Of the enlisted man in this country
is $13 a month. As things go in the
United States that amount of monthly
pay is too small to attract to the mill
tary service the right sort of men. It
represents to the average American At
for military duty very little o. enjoyment.
But the situation as TO the officers is
rapidly becoming desperate. So neces-
sary is ii for them TO stint and econo-
mize IN order to live within their in
comes that so experienced and able
an officer Of the army as Mai Gen.
Corbin, retired, seriously advocated
while he was adjutant general Of the
army that young heutenants be dis
eouraged from marrying Things have
already come to such a pass that Off
GERS Of the army. navy and Marine
Corps who have no other income than
their pay are debarred from serving in
important capacities on detached duty
because Of their poverty. The great
bulk of our military officers are poor
men. The result is that the few who
are rich by Inheritance or marriage re-
ceiye assignments to important duties
merely because they have the necessary
incomes to meet the extra expenses in
CURED ana not because Of special fitness.
The Herald sincerely hopes that Con-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

The wide and smooth asphalt surfaces
Of the streets of Washington afford an
excellent playground to thousands OF
children, especially those who are the
happy pOssessOrs of roller skates. In
fact, the number Of these skaters has so
/ increased during the past year or two
/ that it is now a serious question whether
roller skating on the public highways
ought not to be forbidden by police regu-
lation. The interest in the question is
indicated by the letters which the au-
thorities have received. and especially
by the space which is devoted 10 the sub
Jet in Maj. Sylvester's report.
It is the opinion Of Mai. Sylvester
that roller skating ought to be prohibited,
and he cites a number Of accidents 70
children in the streets in support of his
position. Other people want the children
banished from the sidewalks. claiming
that many persons are injured by collid-
ing with the fast-moving skaters. On the
other hand the claim is made that roller
skates afford a medium Of innocent and
healthy exercise. and that to suppress
them would be 10 deprive the children
of proper recreation. 1t is difficult, there
fore. to determine just what course ought
to be pursued. Generally speaking, how
ever, the authorities ought to go slow In
the adoption Of regulations Of the char
acter now proposed II roller skating in
the streets is dangerous, it is the duty
Of parents 10 look after their children
and keep them from INDUCING In sport
that may result in injury. The authori-
ties can hardly be expected TO exercise
paternal care over all the children in the
District, nor does it seem necessary TO
place a ban upon all these children sim
ply because an accident infrequently
happens.
1t is a pity that there are not play
grounds enough to provide places where
the children can nave their necessary
amount Of recreation. If these play
grounds could be provided, the number Of
children in the streets would materially
decrease. IN the meantime. however,
there does not seem 10 be a pressing need
to regulate roller skating unless indeed
we are 10 extend the caretaking OF the
authorities to an almost absurd degree.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

did not accept it. Palma was asked 10
withdraw it and adjournment was taken
10 later date. When that date arrived
there was no quorum. Congress refused
to perform its functions, the President
had abdicated. and the government was at
an end. Intervention then came. but not
in the manner hoped for by the Moder-
ates- They had eourted it in order to Sc
cure the suppression of the instruction
and the maintenance Of their party in
power. Failing that, they sunk the ship
Of state and skedaddled.
The desertion of the Cuban government
by the Afoderates placed The United States
in a position with respect to the Liberals
that was not to the liking of either the
President or Mr. Taft 1t gave us the
appearance Of encouraging violent meth
obs Of redressing political wrongs and es-
tablished what Mr.. Taft regards as the
dangerous precedent Of temporizing and
compromising with rebels. but the pusil-
luminous conduct Of the Palma govern
ment made no other course possible, save
thar Of making war on the insurgents.
course which the President was anxious
to avoid. 1t may be observed. however.
that the precedent established by the
United States Is no more dangerous than
that set by the Moderate party, which
went to the extreme length Of wreckng
the government in order to checlmate
the opposition. In both these presidents
lies the germ of future trouble in Cuba
should n new government be set up under
the Cuban constitution, though Secretary
Taft hopes for better things
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
Nice In Virginia Capitol.

From the Richmond Times-Dispateh
Capitol mice have come into real promi-
hence Of late. and their movements are
row the subject of much public interest.
After destroying practically all the
State seals in the Office Of the secretary
OF the Commonwealth. the wise little
creatures have discovered new and fruit
fGl fields They have invaded the sane
Jum Of the Hon. Davis Bottom. sllperin-
tcndent Of public printing and are now
feeding upon the record books in his Of
hce. These capitol mice are foxy little
creatures. and the situation has about
resolved itself into a question Of placing
traps IN all the capitol Offices. and il is
DeheEed such action will result in rout-
ing the entire breed. Mouse trap vendors
are now wing with one another in praise
OF their respective wares in the hone Of
landing a big contract.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
OLD MAN GIDDLEs OBSERVES.

It is aggravaung 20 notice how cheer
fully people accept your apology for hav-
ing made a fool of yourself
Possibly some women select the kind Of
Christmas neckties they do to see II their
husbands really love them
I don't know but / would rather hear a
man brag about his smart children than
about how many great men he knows
a man viii boast about his ability in
any lire except lying.
Some folks think being patient with you
consists OF waiting for a good chance. 20
get even.
Analysing it closely, nave concluded
that most Of US fiddle more than we
dance.
Eli Timmons' sen has lost his Job again
because he neglected his duties He IS
always negleCting his duties 10 telephone
20 young woman who thinks she is mis-
guiding star.
! often wonder what the people who
make fireworks and the people who make
gimcrack toys that break in two hours
think of the people who bug them
Don't stand up for your rights, get hold
Of them and sit on them
In the family IL may be called q sensi-
tive child but outside it is referred 10 as
a spoiled kid. WILBUR NESBIT.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
Mr.. Pettus Always Polite.

IL Is generally agreed among occupants
OF the galleries at the Capitol that the
most polite and accommodating member
OF the Senate is Mr.. Pettus. OF Alabama
aged elghty-five One of the most rigid
rules pertaining TO the running Of the
elevators al the Senate wing is that when
a Senator is passenger the car must not
be stopped except when ii arrives at the
moor TO which the Senatorial occupant de-
slres 10 be carried. The rule is jnvari3-
bly, enforced by the elevator conductors
who realize that their jobs depend upon
how well they observe it. Numerous Sen
ators even refuse to ride in the elevators
with anybody but Members of Congress
Justices Of the Supreme Court. Cabinet
officers, &c. and frequently give other
classes OF occupants plainly 70 under
stand That they must get out when Sena-
tors enter. Not so with Senator Pettus
however. Whenever he enters one of the
elevators he is careful to inquire of the
conductor where the other occupants de-
sire 20 be taken. and then instructs that
obeisant functiOnary not to bother about
him. but let the other passengers off at
their floors just as though no member Of
the Senate were among his passengers
Frequently it happens that when other
Senators are aboard an elevator the car Is
Kept bobbing up and down between the
floors for several minutes before the ordf-
nary passengers can be landed at their
destination.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
For Consultation

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
|. The magnaIe faced ST. Peter
What sort o. life have you Ied?' in
quired the keeper Of the gates
The face Of the magnate grew dull and
stOlid
by advice Of counsel he replied, I
refuse 10 answer"
The gatekeeper slowly nodded.
In that case" he said, you had bet
ter consult your counsel before this goes
any farther. He is waiting for you in the
ante-roor below"
Whereupon the saint pressed the button
and the elevator platform upon which the
magnate was standing dropped into the
sulphurOus depths
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
Our stay in Cubo

From the Philadelphia Ledger
THOSE who know the Cubans believe
that they viii plunge into disorder the
instant they are left to their own devices.
and therefore conservative Americans
hope and trust that preparations will be
made for the maintenance of an Ameri-
can provisional government for a Ions
ume IN order that the necessary work of
framing may be done from this time
forth. They wish this for the reason tbat
they know that the Cubans are nor 81
TO govern themselves. and are therefore
not fit TO become American citizens
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
THE INNOCENT BYSTANDER
THE GAME OF LIFE.

Life is game We play
With cards that are not Of our choosing;
Grimly intent. or gay,
Winning a hand or losing:
Fate is the dealer old.
Who has neither mercy nor feeling
Cautious. or OVERLOAD
We must abide by the dealing.
Sometimes the trumps are hearts,
And sometimes the diamonds rue US;
Clubs leave their aching smarts,
Spades at the end may fool US;
But IN the game Of life
Reckless We are on beginning.
Eager for stress and strife.
Needless Of losing or winning.
1t is a game, al through.
A risk and a chance and d gamble.
Whether we work or WOO
or swagger or laziiy shamble,
You. he and I've all
Finger the cards we are playing.
Blunder. OF else fOrestall
Rivals, their chances oUtweiChing.
Life is game we play.
And sometimes the luck may be bitter.
We in the game must stay
Nothing is worse than q gutter
When we have played the game
We still may wonder who made tt
Losing. or winning. the same
All We may know is we've played It.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
Qua Time YuIe SONG.

There are no embeTs
Like crisp Decgmber's
When the green ivy and red holly rule;
And Of a veriment.
There is no meTrimept
Like that which tingles through the halls Of Yule
Quick quip and laughter
Mount 30 tho aftCT.
Song rings and rises in the ipgle-glow;
While low bells Ginning
Keep tunefl timing
Ho the uphangiug Of the mistletoe.
Without white spaces
Within bright faces
Masking Of mummers and the posset bowl:
Pie, Melancholy
Hail. gleescme Folly
Leading the reYels till the midnight toll
Clinton Scotland, IN Housekeepex.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
Mr.. Sims Knows.

The presence in Washington during the
past week of E w Sims, the United
States district attorney at Chicago. has
occasiOned considerable speculation
among Congressman as to the manner in
which Mr. Sims will conduct the proSeru-
ton of the Standard Oil suits that have
been brought in his district Until a5out
year ago Mr.. Sims was one of the
chief law officers of the Department OF
Commerce and Labor and il is known
that in that capacity he had a great deal
70 do with conducting the investigation
of the oil industry which the Bureau of
Corporations was directed by the House
to make. 1t is even said that he wrote a
greater portion OF that report than was
written by either Commissioner Garfield
or Mr.. Garfield's chief factotum. E Dana
Durand, the statistician OF the bureau.
Mr.. Sims is an old Chicago newspaper
man, and was brought to the Department
Of Commerce and Labor by M Cortelyou
when the latter was at the head Of the
department. When he resigned from the
department 10 accept the district atto~-
neYship at Chicago he was its chief So
Hector, but for two or three years he had
been the principal law officer of the Blu
reau of Corporations. He is. therefore.
supposed to have more intimate and de-
tailed knowledge of the operations Of the
corporations that have been investigated
by the bureau than any other district at
torney In the country.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
DIR. Blanks Golden Discovery.

From the Philadelphia Iuqairer
Doctor, 1 want to thank you for your
valuable medicine"
1T helped you. did it?' asked the doc.
tor, very much pleased.
1T helped me wonderfully"
How many bottles did you find II nee.
essary to take?"
"Oh, I didn't take any of IT, Ny uncle
took one bottle, and I am his sole heir"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
Hit Something

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger
The book had been described as boldly
advocating making the family a temper
airy affair. subject to dissolution on the
motion of either party to adjourn sine
die.
And did it make a hit?' asked a list
ener
Hit? I should say So
Struck a popular chord, them"
NO. Struck a snag"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
Masculine Nfennnens.

From the Charleston News and Courier
A reader asks US what we think OF the
young man who will have a falling out"
with his best girT' Just before Christ
mas to avoid giving her a present. We
think he is just the sort of q fellow who
would, were he married. present his wife
with handsome safety razor or a meer-
schaum pipe
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
Even Grover Couldn't Do That.

From the Houston Post
The Washington Herald SAYS: Mr..
Grover Cleveland ought to be elected to
the Senate If for no other reason than IN
hold the alphabet together" Grover was
elected President with the idea that he
would hold the Democratic party to-
gether. but he didn't do IL.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
Fair Warning.

Fair Warning.
] merely wish
To briefly say
That Christmas is
Upon its way.
In fact. I'd state
In accents bland
That Christmas now
Is near at hand.
] would remark,
If you'll not scoff,
That Christmas day
Is not far off.
Oh, readers all,
l pray. give ear.
Christmas, my friends,
Is almost here.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

gr,1s at this session viii provide for in
creased pay. The country understands
the situation very well and would indorse
the giving Of more pay to the nations
defenders, rank and file.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

Nebraska coal dealer has been given
the extreme sentence for entering into a
conspiracy in restraint Of trade. Jurles
and judges are not disposed to look le-
niently upon transgressions Of the coal
man, with present prices and weather
both prevailing
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
CAPITOL GOSSIP.
Too Much Chrtstmns.

The statesmen on the Hill were over
come by the Christmas spirit yesterday.
and the result was "A dull day In Con-
gress. The House frankly gave itself up
to the prevailing feeling Of the season
and did not even attempt to transact any
business. To-day is the date agreed upon
for adjournment for the holidays. but too
Hnany members Of the House desire to get
back home to spend Christmas with their
families and neighbOrs 20 enable Speaker
Cannon 10 hold a quorum. The absence
Of \ quorum was called to Uncle Joe's
attention soon after the Chaplain deliv-
cred prayer at noon yesterday. and he
unhesitaungly admitted that the point was
well taken. Ordinarily when there is
not a quorum present nobody pays any
attention TO il unless somebody is fill
clustering, but the Christmas feeling was
too strong for Uncle Joe's boys to resist
yesterday, and so they agreed without a
mGrmur to knock off work early under
the fiction that not enough OF them were
present 70 transact the public business.
In the Senate it was different. In that
tribunal Mr.. Foraker displayed early in
the proceedings a disposition to stir up
some excitement over the Presidents
summary discharge without honor Of the
negro troops. and the Conscript Fathers
pTicked up their ears for an interesting
row. But for this the Senate probably
would have given IN just as the House
did 70 the Christmas spirit and knocked
OF work early. But. then. one difference
between the House and Senate is that
most Of the Senators have permanent
residences in Washington and their fami-
Hes are here instead of being back
home Thus it happens that the Senate
does not care TO take advantage Of the
parliamentary technicalities on such &C.
casions and adjourn because Of the alb
sence Of quorum. At scarcely any hour
during its full days proceedings yester-
day was there a quorum Of the Senate
present.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
A REGULAR Cut-up.

From the Augusta Chronicle
Mark Twain's attack of bronchitis.
which prevented him from attending the
Watterson dinner. was perhaps due to a
little too much caper sauce dressing.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
And on the Japanese, Too,

y ItIi nc busIuH HeTalu.
Our strenuous President has gracefully
taken back water twice the past week,
once on his premature nominations for
the cabinet, and once on simplified spell
ing. These should serve TO soften the
asperities for a time.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
Hunting women's Manners.

The hunting woman often forgets the
common courtesies of life. takes too much
for granted. accepts every courtesy ad-
vanced, and gives naught in return-sone-
times not even thanks.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

London papers are telling of a man
with a beard sixteen feet long. Evidently
he has not yet heard Of the sad demise
of the Populist party.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
This Is a Rnd One.

Christmas has busted me- Where will
/ eat until january"
IN stand good for your meals"
"Ah, my dear friend, Then yule tide
me over?"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

The reason why so many people refuse to
accept Uncle Andy Carnegie's ideas of re-
form is that he Is not a candidate for
anything. and therefore cannot be a true
refOrmer.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

Senator HansbrOugh says we are
threatened with national nervous pros
tration.' Now some enterprising dnaneier
should proceed 10 syndicate the sana-
forums
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

Il never knew a fiddler who amounted
10 hill Of beans" says Judge Wofford
Of Kansas City Senator Carmack could
cite the judge to one
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

A little figuring might demonstrate TO
Congress how it could increase the pur-
chasing power of its present salary by a
judicious tinkering with the tariff
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
A little Doiur

DO the farms often change hands in
this section?''
NO; but the farmers do"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
war in Midst Of Peace

From the Providence Journal
The Nobel peace prize was awarded to
the President just as ne had declared
war on the StOTers
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

I need work.
I can give you q job Good pay.
Hours. 1870 to 100. Do you acceptI
Well. I dunno. How much time off
for lunch?"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

one considerate and happy diversion is
noticeable in the Kaiser's advice on the
subject Of cooking He does not insist
upon unwinding a lot of yarns about the
extraordinary fine biscuits his mother
used to make.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

The "foreword" in Tom Watson's new
magazine consists Of only about twenty
six pages We shudder To think what
would be happening had Tom been elected
President
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

Another statue has been stolen from the
Louvre, Some cities have all the luck
No one steals any of our London statues.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
Frankly Ans,vered.

"Chollyi'
wei, dear?"
Am l the only girl you ever Ioved?"
This near Christmas. yes"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
Mutual.

You and links seem to be wary of each
other"
Yes; I'm afraid of fool friends.
That's what ne says"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

Mrs. George Gould and all the little
Goulds have the whoOping cough. In
fact, everybody whoOps but father
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20
IT'S Trr

Without Times aid,
I'm much afraid.
Some people age their booze.
Il gets that way
In single day
II one knows what TO use.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

Santa Claus is a faithful and effective
ally Of the President in the matter Of re-
ducing swollen fortunes
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

Perhaps Uncle Joe Cannon's persistent
indulgence in egg sandwiches explains
why Congress considered it necessary to
raise his salary.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-12-20

An automobile bumped into an elephant
at Coney Island and was badly damaged
Wouldn't it be fine 10 have a few ele-
phanIs rOaming the sIreets2