Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-04-21
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timore American.
Don't you want to look
over some of our prepared babies
food? Young Mother-But haven't
prepared baby.-Lifr
The chief criminal in these popular
detective stories always escapes" why,
who can he be-" THE author. -
Rrowning's Magazine
ITS awful, isn't it, the way the
price Of necessities has gone up" Ter
rihle Why, husbands are twice as
much ms they were" Life.
Mr.. Kickcr-W Waiter these oysters
are very small, and they are not fresh.
either. Waiter-Then it's good thing
they're small, amt it, sir?-Chcago
News.
Ills Wlfe--Have you had bad day.
lear: The Financler-Yes. | lost over
$4,000. And the worst of 1t is that
nearly 500 Of that was my own money!
life
THAT man was a waiter for ten
rears, ana now he's worth a million"
An for waiting ten yearsT Yes. his
Itch uncle died then. PHILADELPHIA
Ledger,
Il won't resign under fire." the Sen
Ator puguaciously declared And then
if we draw off the attack" Then
won't have to resign. Philadelphia
Bulletin.
George Rather than remain single,
would You marry the biggest fool ON
earth * he asked YOU? clara oh,
George this is so suddcn.-Chlcago
Daily News.
Claude and Clarlee are in a terri
Die predcament' How is thatr"
They paid so much for their going
away outfit that they can't 80 away"
Louisville Courier Journal.
"IIow often do your housemaids
iustt" "Do you mean how often they
an the furnitureE" asked slangy Mrs.
Nuwedd. "or how often do they skip
lutT' louisville Courier-Jou
! Mrs. Knicker-l thought you were
going abroad? Mrs. Booker So | was.
but my doctor offered me such love
/ ~ bargain in appendicitis only one
thousand dollars. Harper's Bazaar
Anne Teeke Mr.. Gasser is such an
interesting talker, Always saying some
thing one never hears from any one
Use, Hattie Hotterwunne- Has he
been proposing To YOU too? Puck,
Say. | came to this dance without
an invitation" $50 did |. How did
you work III" Nobody stopped me.
How did youY" Same way. My wife's
giving the dance" - Cleveland Leader
The Hostess / suppose your new
apartment has all the very latest i'm
orovcmcnts? The Visitor Yes, indeed
Hot and cold steam heat running
vashtubs, and stationary elevator
Brooklyn Life
Art Dealer-IIere is lovely little
Woodland scene for only $3.50. oil
Magnate That? Nonsense! know
where that was painted. Why, | could
1uy the whole farm for 81, 500.-Som-
arville Journal
Il understand. sir, that You said my
wife had married man dangling af-
er her dead in love with her, in fact ="
We'll. hasn't she?" NO sir. she has
not" Then, II You don't love her,
why did you marry herY'-IIouston
| Post
Newberry Is Sanford of an Opt
nistic temperamentI Baldwin, should
say he is have known him to 90
/ nto a restaurant without a cent in his
pocket. order a dozen oysters, and feel
satisfied that he could pay his bill with
pearl Life
OhIiging Motorist (to groom in diff
,urics with horses Shall | stop the
.ugincF Groom Never mind that, sir.
But if you gents wouldn't mind Just
scUin' cut and Idln' behind the car
! 'or n minute The 'orses think It's
mcuaeery comin'.-Puck.
Rauter But. sir genius Is 4 gen
us. whether he's rich ar poor There
no difference Wise Pardon me,
here is slight difference. A rich
genius can afford TO let his hair grow
ong; - poor genius can't afford 10 get
# cut Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. bangle heard that our old
friend and ueighbor had a very I'M
pressiyc funeral Mrs Mangle-lt was
so fine 1t was really an imposition Of
The respect people had for him And
he minister preached such beautiful
aaregoric over the diseased. Baltimore
American.
Now that we are engaged. said the
tall girl. ~ don't want io call yon
Wellington Isn't there some shorter
name. some nickname that You have
why doar,' replied yelling
ton Carmichael. "thc fellows al college