Evening star., 1906-09-08
WHY HE'S FOR ADLA|
Drummer Favors Stevenson for
Democratic Nominee.
MORE WORK FOR THE AMMAN
Trying to Get Mail in a Make
Believe Town.
POSTMASTER WAS A HUM0RIST
Had to Provide Amusement for His
Regular Patrons and Besides Was
an Enemy Of Haste.
MORE WORK FOR THE AMMAN
Trying to Get Mail in a Make
Believe Town.
POSTMASTER WAS A HUMoRIsT

| an Enemy OF Haste.
Il wish the democrats would put Adlai
| Stevenson at the head OF their national
ticket next year." said man who sells
| crackers and ginger snaps and such like In
| country districts of the south for a bloated
trust. I'D like to push in a vote for the
| old boy for President, even II always have
voted the other way. Why? Well. I'm told
| that when Adlai was an assistant postmas-
| ter general under Cleveland he got the
| name Of 'Axman' because he cut Off the
heads Of fifty thousand fourth class post
masters, or some such number. That's why
I'm all for Adlai I have lot to do with
| fourth class postmasters in my territory,
or they do me a lot. whichever way you'll
have it. and I've often wished that all the
| fourth class postmasters in the land had
| but one neck and that had the job. of
| grand high executfoner.
Il had a worse wish than that for one Of
'em that l ran into the other day-hoped
that somebody would surreptitiously stick
| some powdered glass into his hard cider
| some Christmas week, or something of that
| kind. Never mind the name of the settle
ment I've got to go back to that neighbor-
hood again, sooner or later, to peddle baked
dough, and feet as if I've been spotted by
| enough fourth-class postmasters already.
Il covered that county in about five days,
driving around from one general store to
| another in a blackboard that / hired in the
| county seat town. On the day before
| finished the county I got a wire from my
| firm stating that a check covering my ex-
pense account had been mailed to me at
the Sounchville post office. Why the pin
| heads in charge of drummers' expense &C
| counts had sent the check to Squnchville
| instead Of to the county seat town. only
four miles away, 1 didn't know. except that
1 I'd dated order from SOunChvilfe. which
probably caused 'em in the Office to sup
pose that I had anchored in Squnchville
| and made 1t my county headquarters.
$50 / had to drive out from the county
| seat town to Squnchville on the morning of
the day 1 was going to leave to get that
| check. was to take the 1890 train out Of
the county seat town. 1 pulled into Squnch-
Vile in my blackboard at 11:15. I'd been
| told the mail was due there at about that
| time, and 1 didn't have much margin to get
my check and make the fOur-mile return
drive to make the 1890 train. So was In
heap Of hurry. and probably looked it
| But it's mistake, looking like you're in a
| hurry, almost anywhere in the south. II
| there's any one thing they take particular
| class postmasters-it's tagging and side
| tracking hustling Yanks who look as If they
are in a big rush.
A Make-Believe Town
"Squnchville consists Of the store in which
| the post office is located and the generally
deserted blacksmith shop across the road
| therefrom. It's one of those post offices
| to which the farmers drive in and get
their mail. seed catalogues and prize-offer-
ing weeklies published in Maine. every once
In a while, when they happen to think OF
IT.. and are not hayin' or chopping fodder
or harrowin' the forty or sniokin the hog
meat.
'T hooked my horse to hitching rail out
in front and walked into the store humbly
enough 1t was one OF those stores that
smell Of salt mackerel mildewed prunes.
weary Goldfish and hold-over cheese, and
| with coal scuttles and gloves and sun
bonnets and halters and such like all strung
together overhead on wires or ridge-ropes.
| Five or six one-gallus wool-hatters sat
around on boxes and barrels. Two or
three Of them had staked themselves to
| good seegars two for a nickel upon coming
| in. and that added to the reek. I noticed
'em winking at each other when I stepped
in. I looked like howling dude to 'em.
you see, because I wore coat in the warm
weather and had on a pair Of russet shoes,
wherefore the winks.
1.-THE postmaster was doing up a quarter
Of a pound Of tea when arrived. He
was about sixty. and he had whiskers In
his ears and q wart on either side OF his
nose.
"Mornin' STR said, in my normally po-
lite tone. Mail in yet?'
HE didn't reply for about twenty Sec
onds-he was too busy inspecting me over
"'Air yo' all intus'ted in tn Squnchville
mail, suhY he asked me in a severe tone,
as much as to say that l was buttinskt
that had no business there at all.
"T've got a check coming here in this
mornings mail,' 1 said to him.
"'Yo' have? said the postmaster. still
severe in his tone. How do yo' all know
yo' have?
IT knew that It would not get me anything
II told him that that was none of his dad
blamed hanky-pank business. although 1
ached to tell him that and several other
because I've received advices to that
sAin't no mail heah yit.' he chopped out
| then.
"'We all amt much on tn expec' aroun'
Suunchvlle heah,' replied the postmaster,
wittily. winking at the one-galluses clus-
tered around the boxes and barrels,
and 1 could see their shoulders shaking
over the postmasters humor. I sat down.
Sorting the Mail.
'"Three or four minutes later cart clat-
tered up in front Of the Squnchville post
Office and boy lugged the leather mailbag
in I was glad to see him. It looked as
IL I'd make my train after all.
'aThe postmaster dumped the bunch of
mail in the bottom of the sack on to the
eummy floor back of the counter. and then,
seating himself on an upturned nail keg.
began to leisurely sort over the newspapers
first. When he came to a newspaper ad-
dressed to himself he deliberately removed
the wrapper from it and spread 1t out and
scanned the first-page headlines.
''Big earthquake down yonduh in So'th
'Meriky," he informed the wool-hatters
outside the counter. Place called Va-Val
-Valprazo, or somethin' LAX that. ah
reckon. Yo' all CANT tell me that hull
coast out yonduh amt a-goin' tuh tumble
intuh tn sea-ah knows it,
THAT started one of the wool -hatters on
the subject of the earthquake at San Fran
cisco. He reckoned San Francisco 'ud
nevuh git over that thar earthquake. That
precipitated an argument among all of the
one-galluses, in which the postmaster,
leaning both hands on the counter and let
ting the mail soak on the gummy floor,
participated. The postmaster was taking
the view at great length that San Fran
cisco would be bigger'n gloriouser'n ever
when began to feel jumpy and pulled out