Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1906-11-27
NO PLACE
LIKE HOME
oeIt E Haney and H S Bride
Have a Strenuous House
Warming

returned from wedding tour, and
who has taken up his residence with
MS bride in cozy east side cottage.
decided yesterday to give him a taste
OF what he may expect on the prosy
side of matrimony.
The racket began early and lasted
nearly all day. The first intima-
tion Haney had that anything ont
OF the ordinary was occurring was
about Z O'Clock in the morning.
when he was awakened by tre-
mendous din in the basement. With
thoughts Of burglars filling his mind
he timidly ventured below In HIS
night clothes and was amazed to
see a big husky plumber knocking
things right and left with n sledge-
hammer.
What does all this mean?" he
demanded In astonishment.
ut means that | intend TO find
that blooming leak in your pipe II
| have to knock the whole house
down." was the cheerful answer. as
another section of the wall went by
the board.
But tell you there isn't any leak
here; this is a new house with mod
ern plumbing" insisted the deputy
district attorney
Amt this p. r. Haney's resi-
dence, II East Thlrty-nrst street,
corner East Pine?" returned the
plumber. holding a greasy card to
the light.
Haney admitted the name and
number.
We'll" continued the plumber,
I'VE have instructions TO repair n
water main in the basement, and TO
come early and do the Job without
awakening the inmates-them' our
orders, young feller. so you had bet
ter trot back 10 bed and get in out of
the cold"
After much expostulatlon Haney
convinced the man that somebody
had imposed on him. and the
plumber went away. giving express
sion TO certain phrases which can
only be interpreted properly by a
master plumber.
II was merely the beginning OF the
trouble. however, and before night
fall Haney's patience had been sub
iected TO a severe test. Bill Storey's
coal wagon drove up with ton OF
anthracite and the driver proceeded
70 dump It in the back yard. While
Haney was demonstrating with him,
the Banield-Veysey company's
wagon came along and deposited an
immense quantity Of slabwood among
his flower beds II had hardly got
out Of sight before a junk dealer
rang the doorbell and in business
like way inquired where the empty
bottles could be found.
"What empty bottles?" gasped
Haney.
"Why, somebody telephoned for us
to come here and get IA dozen empty
beer bottles that had been left by
the fellows that moved out" growled
the iunkman. "Said we could have
them for nothing II we would haul
the away"
A procession OF delivery wagons
followed the departure OF the junk
man. Lipman. Wolfe & Co. sent a
man out 10 hang lace curtains;
Meier & Franks representative came
10 lay carpets; olds. Wort
man & King were on hand 10 put up
portieres: the rival telephone COM
oanies were there at the same time
10 put IN telephones: the roof OF the
house was covered with carpenters
hunting for an imaginary leak; sew
eral beer wagons drove up at the
same time and each proceeded to
ornament what ever vacant space
was left around the premises with
cases OF beer. while the Hardwood
company managed 10 elude the
guards and leave four gallons OF Ice
cream on the back porch, just as an
insurance agent showed mp al the
front door 70 write a policy on the
furniture.
Haney did not appear at the DIS
trlct attorneys once yesterday Tor
rood and sufficient reasons, and the
.ulpburle hare oyerhanging the yiein-
nv Of East Thirty-frst and East Pine
street was not oceasIoned BY a vol
ranlc eruption.
-O--------
.NuH~au learn 10