davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
LAYHA WKER JOTS

Professor W. H. Carruth, of the state
university, expects to go abroad soon
and spend a year in studying at Ber-
lin.
Albert Reid lectured before the school
of Journalism at the University of kan
sas Friday. His subject was, News
paper ulustra ting"
An "Agenda Pickup in the Cuba
Daylight: We are sorry to hear that Mr.
Everett Mason had a very valuable
duck stolen one day last week he OF
fers a reward for its return.
A Concordia boy, Burton Bloom, has
achieved distinction among the other
boys in that portion OF the kingdom OF
Boyville, by being able to build a bet
ter kite than any store kite" In town
If you see three men in close confab
at this time of year, says the Belleville
TELESCOPE you do not dare to run in on
them for half the time you can't tell
whether they are contemplating run
ming for congress or bootlegging.
Ieavenworth is grieving because
Topeka got both the Republican and
Democratic state conventions. But
the Prohibitionists have not yet called
their convention. If Leayenworth Will
hurry. perhaps it can corral that.
A Leavenworth man who had been
blind for four years, has just had an
operation performed that has restored
his sight. Think Of being blind for four
years and then suddenly being enabled
to see the peauues OIL the "oilu OliS0
more.
A Lindsborg youth didn't know it
was loaded, but in this instance the
only damage done was a big hole in
the carpet and a severe shock to the
other members of the family. It was
an old army musket that had not been
used since the war. The boys was try
ing some new dynamite caps on 1t.
out at Ellis it is proposed to stop
the practice that some men have of
leaving their horses tied IN the streets
for a long while on cold nights. It is
proposed to authorize the marshal to
seize all horses that are left tied in the
streets for thirty minutes after the
curfew whistles and place them where
they will have feed and shelter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
TFrom the Phiiadelphia Record.

From the Philadelphia Record.l
Soda water viii generally make a
girl froth at the mouth.
The dreamer who is up in the clouds
doesn't always live high.
The life line in the hand is worth
two wrinkles in the face.
Some people never look up to others
for fear of being looked down upon.
A man can't be expected to win in
a walk until he gets tt -, of things.
Some people only put their best foot
forward to tread on other peoples toes.
All the worlds a stage. and the av-
erage man wants to be the whole show
Even the girl who was bred in old
kentucky may ind that her cake is all
dough.
Nellie is nearly seven feet tall -
BELIEVES, he's little short of the ride
ulous-"
Americans care almost as much for
their success as titled foreigners do for
their ruins
sillicus-. Electricity is the greatest
force in the world. Cynieus-sF How
about hattery?"
Blobbs-"Yes, he woke up and found
himself famous in one night" Slobbs-
And what was the first thing he did p
Blobbs-"W Went out and bought a larger
sized hat
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
JOURNAL ENTRIES

You will notice that when the wind
and snow is a little worse than usual
the correspondents always say 1t is the
worst storm known for years.
Senator Burton visited Washington
again last week, but the dispatches say
he avoided going near the senate cham
Der. From which we judge there was
no mileage to be collected on this trip.
A Chicago jury has awarded $4,000
damages as the price of a stolen kiss.
There are a good many girls who would
like to have that jury cash few for
them at that quotation.
Under the circumstances the police
officers were excusable for not taking
the stove in raiding that joint Saturday.
The stove was hot.
Tainted money is always owned by
somebody else. We never have any our
selves.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

GFrom the Chicago News.1
A man may not say a word and still
be a liar. -
He who serves his employer wen
Many a mans conscience gets busy
only in his dreams.
A servant may know his place. b4,t
he doesn't always keep It.
4 victory that is bought with NANCY
isn't worth celebrating.
When a man has nothing else n
boast Of he boasts Of his ancestors
And the more a man likes to fsfl-
the less he likes to hear others tan
All men are born free from envy Rsss
they soon contract the disease.
A hypocrite never succeeds Il, n,ss
leading others as far as he rnislaa5,
himself 2 Us
The only way to manage a wife " save
have her own way
Phiilanthropy is said to relieve men
occasionally who are troubled with
dyspepsia OF the conscience.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
KinIing at FORTY.

Mr. Rudyard Kipling, who IS spend
ing his fortieth birthday today en- route
to South Africa, is just the sort Of man
to subscribe to the Oslerian doctrine
of too old at forty" His pen works
slower than it did, but then an author
who commanded a shilling a word for
his railroad story, NO 0O7," can af-
ford to lie falIow at times. Those who
are not admirers meanWhlle may
amuse themselves with examples OF
the tripping of Kipling, for even his
passionate devotion to detail has not
saved him from the error of making
a lance-corporal wear a sash, or Of
bringing flying fishes a hundred miles
across country to the "old MOulmein
pagoda." But Kipling does not mind.
Pail Mall Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
Her Mistake.

oh" said a Denver hotel telephone
girl I made the most awful mistake
today guess I must have been
dreaming when I made it. Goodness,
out L felt silly about it. You see. a.
stern looking heavy man=oh, he must
nave weighed $50 pounds-canne llp
mere and asked for a number. I
caled the number for him and told
MIN to step into a booth. He did SO
ana forgot to disconnect my own re-
celver. 1t was just an oversight
didn't want to listen to his conversa-
ton Wen, sir, he had called a wo-
man. The first thing he said was:
Hello, Is that you, May? This is
Now imagine a big fat man like
that calling himself Tootsiei It struck
me as being awfully funny 1t also
made me realize that I hadn't discon-
mediately. It was then I must have
begun dreaming. Pretty soon he came
out of the booth and, stepping around
in front Of the counter asked what the
charges were.
Only five cents, Mr.. Tootsie,' I
said, absentmindedly. He looked at
me awfully hard, and then 1 realized
what had said.
oh, er, I don't mean Mr.. Tootsie,
I stammered. Your names not loot
sic, er-is it?'
We'll, sir, that man glared at me for
at least a minute. Then he dropped a
nickle on the counter and walked
away, frowning. Wasn't that an aw-
full mistake for me to make ?"-Den-
yer Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
Benefcent Bacteria.

I had a most successful experience with
nitrogen collecting bacteria last summer.
the results of which have proved their
usefu lness to me for peas and beans We
planted one pint of peas (Burpee's i'm
proved Senator) April Is after duly inoc-
ulating them with nftrogen-collectlng Dac-
terra. From June 80 to July 10 we mar
vested 1917 pecks Of green pods. No trellis
was used The plants We're stronger, they
blossOmed two weeks earlier, they Win
stood the dry weather better and then
matured more peas than plants not moe
ulated On beans the chief advantage of
incubation was earliness-a difference OF
about ten days. When beans were ready
to pick on the inoculated row they We're
lust beginning to set on the other. On
rich soil the uninOc ulated seed later ma
tured almost as large a crop.-March
Country Life in America.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

heretofore, and no EFFORT Will be spared
to insure success along he same lines
this year. And they viii do it, too, if
the Republicans stay away from the
committee meetings and the primaries.
Decent. reputable. honest Republi-
cans, It is up to you. If you want to
run the county organization In the in
terest Of the people, you can do SO. If
you leave everything IN the hands Of
those who do nothing but make politi-
cal medicine. you will help elect mem
Der of the legislature who viii be under
the control of the railroads, and who
Will help elect a United States senator
who win stand with Aldrich and his
gang against Roosevelt and his policy. -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

kind Of a Chinese Joss. To speak Ill OF
him was as high treason in Kansas as
to enter the Chinese temples and
scratch the paint from their idols. He
Is being found out rapidly. The cloak
Of idOlatry is being torn of to uncover
the image OF a Kansas demagogue. I
predict that Mr.. Stubs political star
viii set quicker than that of any man
who has ever. presumed in Kansas. He
is poser. He affects awkwardness
and the. 'homespun' in manner cal
culated to make the people believe he
is another Lincoln in embryo"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

The railroads-in Kansas at least
realize that st is the part OF wisdom to
pay some attention to public sentiment.
In the past the traffic managers of the
railroads have done whatever they
wished and have ordered the railroad
attorneys to protect them. The rail-
roads now realize. however, that if
they are to have the protection Of the
law and claim justice for themselves,
they must also be obedient to the law
themselves and respect the rights of
others. For that reason the traffic
managers viii not be allowed to over
ride the maximum oil rate law as they
haa sntended.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Joseph Jefferson was a strong be-
lever in early marriages. and he never
missed an opportunity to impress his
convictions upon young men. In an
address at Yale, he said:
Il abominate bachelors. The older
they grow, the more conceited they
become. I was talking to one and
I asked him why he did not marry.
He parted the question by telling about
different young women he had known,
finding some fault with each one. But
it appeared that all of them had mar
ried.
won 10 il, faro1r 0f crafffnn- left ,
1 said to him You had better hurry
up before 1t is too late
"tOh,' said the bachelor, there are
just as good fish left in the sea-
'' I know that said, but the bait
isn't there danger of the bait becom-
ing stale. Everybody Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

away they found Covington beneath the
wreck OF the bus, cut and bruised some
what but conscious. Miss Gardner. uE1-
injured, was still clasped In his arms,
and his lips were against her cheek.
Covington's orders have regained their
former satisfactory size and volume,
and Dunkley has been given his old
place by Stern & Sulzmann. Miss
Gardner has resigned. It's to be IN
June and any woman will tell you that
four months is hardly time enough to
prepare for wedding.-(C Copyright, 1906.
by 2. c. Parceiis.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHETop

IFrom the New York Press.1
When a girl is pretty it is a sisn she
Will believe you IL you tell her she IL
prettier.
Anyway. it doesn't take a boy as long
to unlearn as 1t does TO learn his COZ
lege education.
The kind of education a man gets
by experience is no good to him ne
cause everybody has It.
A girl never thinks photograph at
her IS good unless 1t looks like some
A girl likes to have you tell her that
her eyes are like stars almost : : r,,sss5s
as that her hair ripples.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

After carefully looking over the
woodward to see what has been accom-
phshed while he has been skyIarking
out in California, William Allen White
delivers himself of the observation:
Governor Hoch means we'll He has
a good heart. But his woodpile doesn't
seem to grow as it should in this age
OF the buzz-savy.''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

The Second district ought to have an
oversupply OF garden seed this year.
Of course Congressman Bowersock will
distribute his congressional seed in that
territory, and it doesn't take two
guesses to tell where Congressman
Scott VIII place his this year.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

But if Private Secretary Williams
resigns, what will the state do when 1t
wants good legal advice? VIII Gov
ernor Koch or Attorney General Cole
man be obliged to run up to Clay Cen
ter ever and anon, If not oftener?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

The poor trusting corporations seem
20 have been very badly deceived by
wicked Mr.. Garfield, If we may believe
the beef trust. Still, the country
doesn't seem to be getting greatly ex-
cited over the trusts talk Of misplaced
confidence
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
ANOTHER FAILURE.

The receipts from the mortgage tax
in Buffalo are not large enough to con-
stitute much Of an argument in favor
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Congressman Growenor made 50
many figures to prove the election Of
other men that it probably came as
surprise to him when he could not re-
elect himself the same way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

The coroner,s jury in the Tennyson
case at Frankfort seems to have dis
covered about as much as everybody
knew: That David Tennyson was shot
with a shotgun, and that somebody
held it, but the jury wouldn't presume
70 rtraea wEn
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Just because Victor Murdoch made
q speech in Washington the other day
for free denaturized alcohol, Wichita.
should not get too hilarious over him:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Denver has ordered its police to
suppress all boxing matches and glove
contests" in the future. Possibly Den
yer thinks these boxing matches and
glove contests are too much like prize
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
q sAvING HABIT-

Save the frigate CONSTITUTION! Save
the big trees of California! Save Nj
agara Falls! Don't think you have
discharged your full duty as an Amer
lean when you have saved your cigar
labels!=Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Very likely young Mr. Miner would
be willing to quarrel again II 1t would
bring forth another $50. 900 and be fol-
lowed by a reconciliation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
THE HANDY GUN.

ership gun at the gas companies and
the price has been promptly scaled to
IS cents. A gun Is sometimes a
handy thing to have around. even If it
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Although the troubles in Russia
have been crowded off the first pages
in the newspapers. they continue to
run in the magazines.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Mrs. ". Ellis Corey says she isn't
going to get a divorce, but the fact that
she has joined the colony at Sioux
Falls looks suspicious One OF the
principal products Of Sioux Falls is
altt-rrcaa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

It won't be long now TIL the man
with the hoe will be getting busy-at
least he ought to.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

It is said that the ice crop in New
2 ork is three million tons short. New
York doesn't cut as much ice in the
country as it once did, anyway.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

How the railroads must have snick-
cred when John E. Hessin was draft
ed to beat Congressman Calderhead!
They probably even went out behind
the barn to laugh
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

That was a pretty good send off that
the Neosho county Republicans gave
James NJ Nation, and the gratifying
thing about it is that it was deserved.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
CAN'T BE PREYENTED.

There can be CONSTITUTIONAL
amendment for the regulation of di-
vorce, but no constitutional amend
ment can prevent foolish marriages.
St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
HYDE,S TROUBLES.

Jimmy Hyde is reported to be
very much annoyed at the story that
the violet is his favorite flower, when
really he likes the rose better How
troubles do heap up on the poor man?
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

They do say the new voting machine
votes like an individual. But then we
have always had lot of individuals
that vote like Observation-Disclosures
Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
ST1TMPING IT

Hoke Smiths candidacy for the gov
ernorship of Georgia is still moving
along but manages to hit every stump
in the road.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
GET THEM PuRE.

Let all authorizations be branded.
Then if coal tar, borax and aniline dye
are so healthful, the consumer can get
them straight from the paint shop
Chicago News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

This may prove a hard winter for
the scion of the Castellane family If its
main support is withdrawn.-Cleve-
| land Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
LAWSON AGAIN.

Tom Lawson says he has the system
down and out. but he may allow it to
get on its feet again just to keep up
the citement.=Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Congressman Scott has apparently
decided that he Is needed in the Sec
ond congressional district Of Kansas
just now instead of in Washington.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

What is March trying to do to US,
anyway? We have had eight different
kinds Of weather in four days.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
FROM OTHER PENS
ANOTHER MATTrR

The Washington Post is very. severe
on President Roosevelt's fool friends. -
How about his fool foes Milwaukee
Sentinel
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
LAWSON WINS.

Mr.. Lawson doesn't always lose, any
how. His bulldogs won first prizes a
New York.-Indianapeli News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
ROOsEvELT's ANCESTORS.

Here are some of President ROose-
velt's ancestors. Heyltje jams, Analje
Bogaert, Heyltje sjoerts and Jacobus
Roosevelt. wouldn't that make a
fighting man of anybody 2-Los An
eeles Express.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

It appears as though the public sale
free lunch also needs investigating.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Henry Aliens opinion of ". R.
gtubbs. "You know, for a while the
aaonIa Of Kansas REGARDED stuhbs as
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
TFFa F7IRsT or THE MONTH.


I know what day it is today;
NO calendar have I to show.
Ne babbiing wight have heard say,
Nor BOAST I instinct-yet I know,
" IS the day for overflow
VI my deep sorrows cup in rills.
Alas, We should pay as we gol
II Is the dismal day Of bills
A battered iceman wants his pay,
NJ, a stormy milkman says I owe;
me gasnlan seems to plan a stay:
Inc coalman VIII not take a mo-
here Is the bill from Squibbs & Co.
OF poWderss fonicss soap and pills
a mar we needed not. I trow,
II is the dismal day Of bills.
The paper boy won't go away:
ne grocery man looms up a Re;
A Dutcner holds me fast at bay:
a wagglsh baker speaks Of dough
Ny tailor comes He says I'm ''siovv. ,
a Nm me; the hungry concourse fills
MY simple honest heart with woe
1t is the dismal day of bills.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

General Traffic Manager-So 40 were
killed in the wreck? We must fix the re-
sponsibility.
Superintendent Of Rebates-Hadn't we
better fix the roadbed?
President-Au viii be well If we fix
the egislature.-Smart Set
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Marie. If James asks you to marry
him tonight. tell him to speak to me-
And If he doesn't mamma2'
Tell him I want to speak to hin. -
Womans Home Companion
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

wen. here's another election day com
ING along. OF course, lots of political lies
Very likely. and lots of thumbs will be
mashed in the process too. ''-PhiladeIphia
Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
ENVOY.

My boy, I've Travelled to and fro.
ana know the grip Of divers ills:
Behoid, I say, fate's direst blow:
II IS the dismal days of bills.
Hayden Carruth in New York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

"Haye you much room in your new
Room Mercy me- I should think
not Why our Kitchen and dining room
are SO small that we have to use con
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
Wife-what luck.

" Nv naL luck
Husband (wearily)-None whatever
Wife-Were there no servants in the in
telligence office?
Husband (sadly)-Lots of them, but they
had all worked for us before.-Won7
Home Companion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY

salessnan-Don't you want to lock over
some OF our prepared babies food?
Young Mother--But I haven't a pre-
pared baby.-Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Sorry, boys. but I'll have to be getting
home, says Underthum, at the club
Ny wife expects me before midnight"
What's the matter2 Afraid shed 20
for you If you stayed out any laterg''
No. I'm afraid she'd come for e.
Philadelphia Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

''Bfr. Wise IS an sgnostic isn't hep
that?''
Miss Passay told me he didn't believe
the Bible
'Ah; she means the Bible in which the
record of her birth IS entered. He no
tlced that she had been tampering with
the date."-Philadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Yes. it's a realistic story Here Is a
scene in the dark, where the heroine
stretches our her arms and raps the wall
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Miss Aseum-Ts Freddy Fathedd work
ing for q living2
Mrs. Trillion-Oh; my, yes The poor
boy has been trying for six months to
gain papa's consent.-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Express clerk-value Of this package,
please?
Fair Damse1-Twenty-hve thousals dol
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

You hear so many people talking OF
the pace that kills I wonder what they
mean exactly"
Wen. It depends. There's the messen-
ger boy s pace. for instance; that merely
kills time. Philadelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

Mrs Crossly-John. that gentleman
with the long hair and big black tie is
going to write a series Of stories on Wild
Animals Have Met"
Mr.. Crossly-Wel. what do you mean
by inviting him to call at this house so
early in the morning?
Mrs Grossly (sweetly)-Why. 7 thought
he would like to see you when breakfast
is a few minutes late.-Chicago News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

IT am sorry" said the doctor but
your little. girl win not be able to speak
for several DAYS"
Then II. viii be SAFE said the anxious
mother, FOR me to invite the minister to
tea won't it2'-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-03-05

We must teach the corporations that
MY dear sir. answered Mr.. Dustin
Std11. We Qon wish to run It. The
profit to be derived from taxes is trtfling
compared to what we're used to. Vas5-
ington Star.