The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-02-09

yell, ana l thought could smell flesh
burning Oh, but was scared for fear
they would burn pa alive.
Just then the man who had charge
of our cannibals, who each had dog
that they were looking for a place to
roast, came along and told him about
the Indians corn roast, and he ordered
the cannibals to 60 drive the Indians
away from their fire and roast their
dogs. Well, it worked like a charm,
and the cannibals made rush for the
Indians and drove them away just as
they had lighted the fire around pa.
and we were not minute too soon.
After the Indians had skedaddled for
the woods, and we cut the cords that
bound pa, the cannibals went to work
and skun the dogs, and began to cook
them, and pa looked on, until it made
him squirmish, but he was so tickled
at being saved from the Indians, that
he tried to be good fellow with the
cannibals. l guess it would have been
all right, only the cannibals got to
drinking the Philadelphia beer, and
then it was all off, cause roast dog
wasn't good enough for them, and
they wanted to roast pa.
First they offered pa dog to eat, but
he had swore off on dog, and passed
on it, and that made the cannibals
mad, and they got ready to roast pa,
and / guess they would have eaten
him half cooked, If it hadn't been for
the performers and freaks who had
missed their pet dogs, and the circus
hands told them the cannibals had
just gone to the woods with mess of
dogs to roast for dog feast.
Well, they were just getting fire
around pa, and he was giving the
grand hailing sigh of distress, when
the performers, headed by the fat
woman, whose peeled Mexican dog
was lost in the shuttle, came in
amongst the cannibals, and pa and the
other dogs were rescued, in the
darnedest fight ever saw. The per.
formers just walked right over the
cannibals, and mauled them wstE
stakes, and all the dogs that had nnt
been killed were pulled away from.
the heather, and saved. The fat
woman got her dog all right, and
when pa came up from the stake
where they were going to burn him,
and congratulated her On recovering
her dog, she turned on pa and accused
him of being the leading cannibal,
and that he was the one who put up
the whole job to steal the dogs. She
jabbed him with a parasol, but pa
was innocent.
The Indians got back to the tent
along towards morning, and the can
nibals went back with us, and we had
to feed them on weiners, which was
the nearest to roast cog we could get
for them at that time of night.
Pa seems to get 1t in the neck in
this show, cause everything that goes
wrong is laid to him, and if anything
goes right, somebody else gets the
credit, and I think he would resign il
it was not for his pride. After the
trouble about the Indians and the
cannibals the manager called pa up
and reprimanded him for indulging
the tribes in their wild orgies, and
said we couldn't maintain discipline
as long as pa mixed up with them and
encouraged them in such things.
Pa tried to explain that he was the
victim instead of being the cause of
the dog roast, but the manager dis
missed pa by telling him not to let it
occur again. Then to show the incon.
sistency of the manager, he ordered
pa to go on ahead of the show to New
York, and advertise that the cannibals
in our show would give an exhibition
of roasting and eating a human being,
and to offer a reward for anybody that
would consent to be roasted and eat
en- in public.
Pa has gone to New York to look
ton of meat for the cannibals, and he
is instructed to spare no expense to
find such man. He thinks he may
find somebody connected with the
Equitable Life insurance scandal, who
has lost all desire to live any logger,
and who will gladly go into this "mu.
tual' scheme. l don't know.
This circus business is too much for
me, cause l am losing friends all the
time. Even the monkeys have got so
they seem to be ashamed to be seen
talking to me, and when l pass the
| monkey cage they turn their backs on
HE, as though did not belong to their
set. When a fellow gets so low that
monkeys feel above him, and throw
out sarcastic remarks when he goes
by, it is time to change your luck
| some way.
WHEN HIS WIFE CAME HOME