Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1906-05-09

Were you frightened when you
arose to make your first speech7'
MAY read you my last poem7"
You may, if 1t really is. Cleveland
Leader.
You're not happy with your hus-
band, are your" Yes, but for good.
ness sake don't tell hm."-C Cleveland
Leader.
Gladys-He is such an impulsive
lover! Edith-If girl shows him the
least encouragement lie runs * Chicago
Daily News.
what should brighten mel" The au-
dience." 1.-THE audience left as soon az
my name was announced. Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Stella-Wlly have you got string
tied around your finger. Bella-To re-
mind me whose engagement ring am
wearing.-Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Slimson-I thought you were
coming home early to punish Willie for
telling that lie? Slimson-T was, but
had to stop at the City Hall and swear
off my taxes.-Life.
Knicker--What will become Of their
children? Bocker-They will be taken
from the servants of the father and
brought up by the servants of the moth.
er--New York Sun.
Kind Lady Have you ever had edu-
cational advantages, little boy? Ragged
KId--Nope, but I've had mumps an
measles an hoopln' cough. Don't want
nothin' else."-Cleveland Leader.
Mr.. Borem- Could see Miss Fibbsf
Maid-Faix! that's what she was won-
derin' MS ye come acrost the street. Mr..
Borem-Ah then she's In. Mafd-Yes.
but she's not Mt homc.-P Philadelphia
Press.
Teacter-Tommy, when was Rome
built? Tommy-In the night. Teacher
How came you to make such a mis-
take? Tommy--You said yesterday
Rome wasn't built in day Chicago
Journal
Sonny" said the good old man. I'm
surprised that you should tense the cat
In that way" .'Why?' replied the boy,
pausing In his inhulnan work. do you
know any better way Philadelphia
Ledger.
do you think that these people will
be received In fashionable society r
YES" answered Miss Cayenne: II
think they will even go further than
that and be received In polite society,"
Washington Star.
"Oh yes he's travelling incog. They
say he's knight in England knight
or baron or something" He'd better
be careful or night in New York will :
make him barren of everything"-
Philadelphia Press.
"Pop!" Yes, my SON." Did you
ever flirt before you were married ~
"Why, yes, my boy "And were you
caught at it?'' Eyes, my boy" Who
caught you, pop?" Your mother !'-
Yonkers Statesman.
Edna (writlng composltion) Dear
me, have forgotten which are the sew.
en- wonders of the world. think III
ask Mrs Brown. Tom Don't. Edna
Why not? Tom Well, she has seven I
children. Chicago Daily News
"And what are you doing in the cap
ital?' said the Washington citizen toIa
friend from the West "Oh, came %
see Congress make few laws" Elm
decd? Then you intend to reside here
for a number of years?"-C Cleveland
Leader.
Charlie-Don't you rememberi II
was that day you borrowed five shil-
lings of me. Jack chastity ~ don't
recollect anything Of the sort. Charlie
But you paid 1t back next week.
Jack-Oh, yes! remember that per.
fectly.-London Tit-Bits.
Assistant Editor--I see here that an
English general was badly cut in open.
ing wine bottle. What sort Of head
shail put on it? Managing Editor
Oh, Just say Serious Accident to Brit.
ish Man-of-war In Attempting to Get
Into Port.'-Amerlcan Spectator.
English Guide The echo ere in thesa
mountains is very fine, sir. Tourist
CATER shouting "Hello ~ We'll, there
is an echo, but 1t isn't distingulshable.
English Guide-You don't understand
the languidge. sir. These are Welsh
mountains, y'know. Philadelphia
Press.
A bashful young couple, who were
evidently very much in love, entered q /
crowded street car In Boston the other
day. "Do you suppose we can squeeze
In here?" lie asked, looking doubtfully:
at her blushing face. Don't you think, I
dear, we had better walt until we get
homer" was the low. embarrassed reply.
Life.
"What preparation have you UNDER
gone" asked the great explorer, scorn.
fully, 'for the hardships unayoidably
attendant on the expedition you wish to
take with mei' ~ have frequently
walked across the bath room linoleum
barefooted." proudly answered the
would-be voyager.5 Whereupon the great
explorer apologlzed, and assigned him 4
berth.-Ex.
The German banker of Church street
loves to tell the story of the two Irish
men who discussed the nationality Of
the American States" Said Pat: J
Faith an be jabbers, If this CRATE
country amt oyerrun wild TIL Irish,
an VT out o. thairty-two States In tn
union not wan has an Irish name"
Sure an yer wrong replied Mike.
Whats the matter wild O'Regon?"-
New York Press.
Pride.
"Yes, madam" said the physician,
your little daughters foot seems to
have been bruised severely, that is all.
Probably she struck 1t against a stone