Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-12-08
g?v repeated the gentleman, rather

"HOoi groWIeQ MI thuckeT, III
voice like bears. 1t had just occurred
to him that the safest way out of his
difficulties would be to sham being mad.
A Frenchman would have quietly beck
oned the gentleman to the other side OF
the carriage. and would have explained
the dilemma with laugh.
But Englishmen are persons full OF
niceness. and Mr.. Chucker dared not con-
fess to perfect stranger that he had no
trousers on.
He repeated "Hoo!" two or three times
over, and his strategem succeeded perfect
~. for both his fellow passengers became
convinced that they were travelling with
a lunatic.
The lady began to scream. Her nerves
were so unstrune that they could not
stand this extra shock And Mr. Chuck
er made things worse by the tiXity with
which he stared at her. The gentleman
armed himself with an umbrella TO pre-
tect his wife.
Mr. Chucker, entering into the spirit of
his part, caught up his own umbr' la and
brandished it.
The travellers were in their attitude of
vigilance and menace when the train once
more slackened speed, and Hanwell was
reached
Instantly the gentleman jumped out on
the off side of the line, so as not to pass
Mr.. Chucker, and helped out his wife,
whose screams had by this time given
place to fit of shivering.
Mr.. Chucker thought himself we'll rid
of his mess, for the train would 90 on
again. and he should be able to complete
his dressing. BY way OF insuring privacy
for the remainder of his Journey he be-
gan by pulling the carriage blinds down.
Alas! he was not to get off so easily.
Already there was a commotion on the
platform.
The husband of the faintng lady had
explained matters to the station master;
some porters and guards had overheard
him. and rumor circulated that there was
lunatic in the train. Some passengers,
poking their heads out OF the carriage
windows. protested against travelling in
the company of a man who might COM
nit some mad act-set the train on fire,
throw himself out, or emit awful noises.
The station master was Obliged to pacify
these murmurs by stiding toward the
alleged maniac's carriage. The all-uncon-
scious Mr. Chucker was rudely aroused by
the door being suddenly opened and
gruff voice eXclaiming:
Now, sir, what's the matter with
YOU
Nothing the the-matter with me,
stammered Mr. Chucker. what should
there be-" but. so saying. he Rugged his
rug closer to him with guilty look.
Would you mind stepping out, sir?
"Why should i. My ticket is for
Windsor"
Change here for Windsor, sir" re-
sponded the guard, who was quite con-
WINGED by this time that he had queer
character to deal with.
well man, since you put me to it,
we no trousers on" confessed Mr.
Chucker, lowering his voice; whereupon
the station master echoed in amazement:
''No trousers!" and the crowd behind
caught up the words NO trousers!"
Hes throwed 'em out" suggested a
porter
Perhaps he had none on when he got
into the train" suggested the static
master.
"0f course, had man. Pve two pair
with me now. Let me alone. that may
put one on faltered Mr. Chueker, in
Inundated and disguised by the sight of
so many people staring at him.
But while he was speaking some low
churl, Selling corner of his rug. gave
it a twitch and abruptly exposed Mr..
Chucker's dishabille to view,
There was a shout of mingled laughter
and dismay among the passengers, some
of whom being ladies, deemed it expe-
dent to squeal.
"Out YOU come" roared the blushing
station master, in a paroXysm of indigna-
ton. and he clutched Mr.. Chucker by the
wrist.
"Well but-but-let me d-dress
first" pleaded the victim, as he felt not
only his arms but his legs in the grasp
of different hands. He made short
struggle, but this did not improve his po-
sition. for his resistance was ascribed to
mani&cal outbreak, and emboldened his
aggressors to drag him out of the car
riage feet foremost. He tumbled out in
a heap, and was then carried across the
platform, kicking and roaring in the sight
of a hundred pairs of astonshed or
amused eyes.
OH" exclaimed the young ladies as
he passed.
Poor mani" cried some older ones.
Hi! Fetch the police" chorused some
of the porters.
Ten minutes later, when Mr.. Chucker
had been conveyed, undec strong escort,
to the station masters room, and had
been suffered to don his pantaloons, he
contrived to get hearing and to explain
how all the trouble had arisen.
| We'll, but why didn't YOU tell us this
before cried the nonplussed station
master
Because you wouldn't listen to me.
/ You beast" screamed Mr. Chucker.
well, you've missed your train and
your dinner" said the station master,
and that'l be lesson to YOU"
Lesson of WHAT" asked Mr., Chucker,
| eNasperated.
Lesson - why - why - lesson not to
take of one pain of brceches until you've
| put the other on, and that for decencv's
| sake sir' answered the station master.
/ otCInIV, fornulatiuu nn axio,n which