Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1906-07-07

| iWo CTlVIlS III OPPooANN
ago, according to the Buffalo Times, ana
| saluted each other as follows:
| ''MOInin, ST.
| "HOw-de Hank"
Say. 81. what'd you give your boss for
| Iurpentlne."
Tibet SOP
| Git APP
| Yep, git ap."
| And they both drove on.
other driving again. and. alter passing
the time Of DAY. Hank said:
Say, 81, l thought you told me you
gave your boss turpentine for the rheu-
matiz.
Il did, 81 answered.
tine an he died. -
SO did mine; git APP
| Huh-git APP Hank answered
Both again drove their respective ways.
| The late Paul Laurence Dunbar used to
like to joke about the higher education
Cf women.
In one of his lectures, delivered late in
June, Mr.. Dunbar said:
"A lady on sultry summer afternoon
called on some friends. The talk buZzed
along briskly. fans waved and the daugh-
ter OF the house kept twitching uncOm-
lfortably. frowninG and making little
snothered cxclamatiors of annoyance.
Finally with an impatient sigh. she rose
Your daughter said the visitor,
seems to be suffering from the heat"
No. said the hostess. She is Just
back home from college, and she is SUI f.
fcring from the family grammar
At a recent dinner. which was attended
by a number Of clergymen, President
Buckham OF the University of Vermont
told the following of Bishop Hall. of the
Episcopal diocese of Vermont, in response
to some good natured chaff about the lib
eral views of the Congregational Church,
and the ease with which almost anybody
could join it.
He said he had heard of a Negro who
had many times applied for membership
in st. Pauls Church at Burlington. but
had net been able to satisfy the bishop
mission. The negro had been advised to
pray that his spiritual condition might
improve
After doing so he made new applca
tiOn. The bishop said to him:
'Well. Erastus, have you prayed as
ted you to-
"Yas, indeedy, sub; l done prayed an I
done tole de I.awd l want to jine st.
Paul's Church. an de Lawd he say to
=" Good luck. Rastus, been tryin' to
Jl in?f dat Church 70 twenty years Nah
A Joke is the breath Of his nostrils to
in every canvass he points his remarks
with such humor as seems suitable. In
lsreaking Of his adherence to democracy.
l
to say that as a good old elder of his
Sunday school days swallowed the Bible
from "kiver to kiver." 50 he took de-
And then he explains that small boy
was once wicked as to Paste together
two leaves jest where the good elder's
IL liter CIV, - This s',th ,hmg state
meAt when Noah was 10 years old
he took upon himself Il wife. who was
and here the glued pages We're turned
hlli
of gopher wood ani covered with pitch
inside and out The elder read it again.
verified it. and remarked SOlemnly: MY
boys. this is the first time have ever
net with this i'm the Bible. but l accept t.
boys, its evidence of the assertion that
We are fearfuly and wonderfully made"
The Rev. sllas G. Swallow said the 9th
Il er day:
Il remember. when was a student at
Wyoming Seminary a farmer came To
Kingston to visit his nephew, whom he
Twas educating.
"rhe farmer had no urban polish His
tea. when it was brought, vas Very hot
and he poured it in the saucer. 10 his
ncphews great modification.
FINALLY. unable to restrain himself, the
nephew was 50 rude to say:
Uncle. why do 20 upour your tea in
the Saucer?"
The old farmer locked ur in surprise
Then he said. in loud hearty voice:
| TO cool it. to be sure. The more air
| surface you give it the quicker it cnos.
| n''St mere modern Semln3rleS don
teach much science. do they"
Clement W. Andrews, of Chicago, in
course of the convention Of the American
| Library Association at st. Louis visited
"a nu,rh"r &C St Louis factories.
| In one of these inspections noon struck
| In the cardroom of 4 certain mill. and all
the car'lroo m boys Put i,v their work and
| disappeared as if by magic.
| 'bo all the bows" said Mr. Andrews
| smiling. drop their tools the instant the
whistle blowS?"
ooh. no. not all of them said the card
| room boss. the more elderly ones have
their tools put away before that time"
Russell Sage thinks that smoking is
bad habit.
II overheard ono day he said recent
ly. "a conversation that delighted me 1t
| was a conversation between a vourg man
| and his wife. He appeared to be q rather
| tXtravagant and lazy fellow She ap-
pcared to be economical. industrious and
| ambitious.
9Th" wife was trying to urge the hus-
| band to give up smoking. She point
| ing out to him how much. in the course
| of a year. he spent on tobacco. She was
| showing him that mentally physically
| and financially he would he better off
| without it
| "'2rt III great men have smoked. he
| Srumblcd.
| "'W,ll,' she areworod e you'll give u,
| smntin" IT you're great, Ill be quite
| YOllr Cnrn,,cc1ec ora