davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1906-11-23
NOTICIAS

4 \-% ~
Ell Auditor de Puerto Rico, senoI
Ward, no pudo acompanar al Presi-
dente en- SD excursion de regreso
Ponce, debido 4 sentirse algo en-
fcrmo.
FL ca1onero "Scorpion" y los va
pores mercantes "Coamo" V "Pon-
ce', sc encuentran fondeados en- el
puerto de San Juan.
Hoy Sc ha. .presentado al Secretario
de Puerto Rico un @nuevo. escrito de
queja t1rmado por gran n6mero de
propietarios de San Juan, protestando
de Ia parte de Ia ordenanza municipal
que dispone Sc saquen a Ia calle los
zafacones de basuras, sin garant1a al
guna para el propietario.
A las 8y 50 de la nocbe de mana :
ma Sc veriflcara TN concierto bale
Ell e1 salon del "Parque Borinquen,
amenizado por la banda de Ia Policfa
Insular.
La "Bandera Americana" de Maya
giiez, inserta IN despacho de su CO.
rresponsal en- San Juan, declar ando que
podrian calcularse de 5000 $4,000
las personas congregadas en- San Juan
en- los momentos de Ia entrada de Mr..
Roosevelt
Sc trabaja activamente en- Ia re-
construction de Ia mayorfa de los ca
1ninos veclnalss de Yauco
Los veciuos de Yauco Sc qaejan del
elevado precio que Sc exponde Ia
carne el nercado.
El vapor espanol Cataluna Sc
encontraba fondeado en- San Juan
hoy las doce, y saldra esta tarde
con rumbo a puertos espaaoles.
EI presidente Roosevelt adem5s de
las vista que hizo al Ayuntamiento
de. Ponce, fu6 la Escuela industrial
y pronunci6 un breve discurso a los
ninos de las escuelas dc dicha pobla-
sci6n.
El "a de Enero pr6ximo Sc veri6-
,cara Ia. aperture de las C8maras.
e
A fines de Dicienbre pr6ximo que
~dara terminada la Inca f6rrea entire
Isabella J Camuy.
De Mayagiiez fueron Ponce mu-
chas personas con el fin de presenciar
Ia llegada del Presidente Roosevelt
Sc encuentra enfermo el propietario
de Mayagiiez don Martiniano Mar
tinez.
Sc encuentra bastante mejor de Ia
grave enfermedad que sufriera en-
Ponce el professor graduado de Santa
Isabel don Jose Escabi.
A poder del senor Tesorero han
llegado hoy dos denunciss contra IN
dividuos de Fajardo y Mayaghe2'
por infracciones de las leyes de
Rentas Internas.
PRENSAS DE COPIAR.-Los mo-
elelos mas perfectos y baratos. LIE
wenta en- el BOLETlN
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
The Darwinian Theory.

Miss Agnes Mahony. missionary ta
Liberia was visiting Philadelphia wi,n
two African slave girls wG3 had leeI
bought for SO apiece. Miss Mahou1
pictures Of Liberia We're sombcr Sha
relieved the gloom OF her narrative Nilt
an anecdote of an African coast pilot.
This pilot" said Miss MaLony. 'was
once bringing a ship northward Tle
captain toward sunset. bade him go te-
low and help himself to a glass Of cold
tea.
After taking the tea, the pilot prt-
ceeded TO MUNICH a biscuit.
Now. the captain owned Il large
monkey. and this creature sat browsing
in dark corner of the gloomy cabin.
The pilot said:
"a gusty day, sir and tile monkey
shrugged its shoulders
The pilot with affable gruhness weat
on:
THE south light is away on tile port
bow now, SIR
There was no answer
But the pilot was persistent. He
continued:
: wen be over the bar. sir. in an
hour
Failing to get a reply even to this
pleasant information, the pilot went mp
on deck again. and, taking his place be
side the captain on the bridge. said:
What quiet chap your father is"
New York Tribune
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
Boys Prefer Young Ladies.

The sedate membership of the First
Congregational church of Springfield,
Mass. is scandalized by the action of the
Boys Brigade in drawing the age limit ou
feminine guests in issuing invitations to
n ladies' night to be held in the church
parlors under Boys Brigade auspices.
The members of the brigade range from
II to II years of age and on full-dre~s
occasions are armed to the teeth with
wooden guns. flashing aluminium swords
and patent leather belts. When a la-
dies night was decided upon as the
function in church ethics most nearly
approaching a military ball. Il question
rose as to whom to invite. The deacou~
who supervise the Opportunity Seeker
We're entitled to consideration. Intrepid
leaders of the Boys Brigade took it
upon themselves to qualify the invitation
list by boldly announcing that the pres
ence of Opportunity Seekers more thau
II years of age was not desired Mem
bers of the Boys Brigade unblushiu-y
assert that the age restriction was made
necessary by the fact that some of the
Opportunity Seekers are nearly as old rs
the church itself, which celebrated IT'S
two hundred and fiftieth anniversary soy
eral years before the charter members
of the valiant Boys Brigade were bern.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
She Made 500 a Day.

Senator Plat. in a humorous speech,
was praising woman at dinner party.
And her bushes ability" he ok
claimed. Only the other day the young
wife of a young friend of mine said eN-
citedly to her husband on his return
home:
John. have made more money than
you today.
How much have you made BE-"
asked.
A hundred dollars, she said proudly.
Good, good cried the young man.
And how did you make it,
Well said the young lady 'To1
know my old piano that you only pHl!
$500 for? l sold it today for $500
Gracious, and what are you g"-HG
to do with the money!? he asked.
oh. there isn't any money, she ~al"
"'Eh?
You see. / sold the piano to d.,--
err she explained. He gives ms a n"%
one for $500. and allows $500 for the Sd. vi
one. Haven't l done We'll: If you Il
stay ut home and let me run your itl.~
uess for you you'd grow rich. Trims,
800 day. That is over $3oWp ID
year, =
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
Uncle RusselPs WAY.

Russell Sage has horror Of lawsuits
y clerk of Mr.. Sage's said the other
day;
4 sought out the chief one morning IN
his office.
You remember. sir l said. my COM
paint against my wife's lmcle:'
Is, he answered.
Wen said |, the man is ohdnratc.
and | think of bringing suit against him,
" lat do you adviser
Mr., Sage, always Interested i'm the
welfare of his employees. was silent a mo-
ment, troWning thoughtfully. Then lie
Listen, Wien was a clerk in Troy
! had a ease against Il man that seemed
quite as good as Yours. | visited a prom
lnent lawyer. aud | laid the whole mar
ter before MIN in detail When | was
through lac told me that he would he de-
lighted To take the eaSe-that il was \
ease that couldn't lose.
1T can't loSeE'' said |,
1t can't lose" he repeated.
rose and took my hat. I thanked
the lawyer, and told him that | woudn't
bring the suit, after all And then | eve
planned that it was my opponents side
and not my own which / had laid la.
fore him.
Before bringing = lawsuit. Mr.. Sage
concluded. it is good plan first tn .is;-
your opponents case before your lawvs~
as If it was your own -
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
Turkish Bath Only Refuge.

The Turkish bathroom at the Coates
house, Kansas City. Mo. was the only
refuge Of rest aud quiet that a distin-
gnished New York preacher could find
in Kansas City. He was Rev. DR..
Newell Dwight Hills, successor of Hen
ny Ward Beecher in Plymouth Congre-
gational church. DR. Hills was to have
lectured in Nevada Mo-, but DELAY
caused him 10 miss connections and he
spent an hour looking for place to get
a bath and lay his weary head. At the
Baltimore he could not get a room ana
bath" He inquired at the Coates house
and the clerk there told him that the
house was full. He was walking dis
consolately out of the lobby when MIR.
frey. the proprietor, recognized him and
brought him back, Ultimately it was
arranged that DR.. Hills should spend
the night in the Turkish bath and then
rooms would be found for him. DIR.
Hills tried to get Il special train on the
Missouri Pacific or Frisco road to take
him to Nevada, but neither road could
furnish it.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
RHYMED RULES FOR A MODERN
APARTMENT HOUSE.

Frst-After January ! no dogs or cats
win be permitted in these flats.
second-piano must be boxed or Grated,
And singing won't be tolerated
Thrd-Ali parrots must be left behind
No birds allowed Of any kind
Fourtll--No cooking is allowed al present
As kitchen odors are unpleasant
Fifth-No servants, babies, girls or boys,
No conversation, laughter, noise
sixth-Yon cannot entertain in these
Apartments-rule applies to teas
seventh-To call the ianitor, don't yell
Or ring the elevator bell.
EigLth-Ttnlcss your business is known,
You're not allowed to telephone.
Ninth-From August to September, please
Don't raise the windows, cough or sheez''
Tcnth-non't hang your pictures on th'
walls,
Or talk or whistle in the halls.
Eleventh-Don't nail down carpets to th'
floors,
Smoke cigarettes or lock the doors.
Twelfth-Unless these rules are well re
spected,
Your lease will be at once rejected
Thirtccnth-But II you show humble min(
And human instincts leave behind.
Fourteenth-The management will make
your stay
A pleasant one in every way.
Wallace Irwin in Life.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
TreacherY.

An officer Of the army was one day re-
felring in Il humorous vein to the large
body Of professional heroes" produced
by our war with Spain, when ne related
the case of western politician Mho en-
deavored to make capital of his war"
record in Cuba.
This politician, shortly after his return
to the United States after being mus
tered out. became a candidate for a mi
nor office III the gift of the state of In
diana. He made many tlamboyant
speeches. in which frequent references
were injected to the effect that he had
always been in the forefront of the
tight" Furthermore. he dwelt with en-
phasis upon his own bravery iii two bat
ties in Cuba that were fought the same
day At this point some unfeeling and
skeptical person arose and asked the
speaker how such feat could have been
possible, seeing that the battles referred
10 had been fought at places some nine
ty-hve miles apart.
The hero" Immediately replied: My
friends. there is a traitor in the hall!
Put him out."-Harper's Weekly.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
A BILLION.
How Sir Henry Bessemer Dissected the
Figures.

How Sir Henry Bessemer Dissected the
Figures.
One billion! What is it? Its arith-
metical symbol is simple and without
much pretension.
Let MS briefly take n glance at it rs
measure Of time, distance and weight
As measure of time, would take one
second as the unit. and carry myself M
thought through The lapse OF ages back
"a the first day of the year ] OF Our eit,
remembering that in all those years we
lave SO days ard in every day just
s6.I00 seconds of time. Hence, III re
turning in thought back again To this
year Of grace. 1908, one might have sup
posed that a billion of seconds had long
since lapSed: but this is not 50. for it
takes just - GS7 years z days - hours
H. minutes and . seconds to constitute
. billion of seconds of time.
Let lis try ia imagination to arrange
n billion soyereigns for inspection. Let
MS put one on the ground and pile upon
it as many as will reach twenty feet IN
height then let us place numbers OF SIM
liar columns in close contact, forming 4
straight line and making a sort of wall
twenty feet high. Imagine two such
walls running parallel to each other and
forming, as ii We're, Il long street 1T IS
EOt until we have extended our imagi-
lary street To a distance of 23S0I2 miles
tbat we shall have presented for inspec-
ION our one billion of coins.
Or. in lieu Of this arrangement. we
may place them fiat upon the ground.
forming one continuous line like a long
golden chain, With every link in close
contact. But to 30 this we must pass
over hand and sea. mountain and valley.
desert ana plain. crossing the equator
ara returning around the southern henri
spIere through Ghe trackless ocean. re-
trace our way again across the equator
ten still on and on unul we again ar
rive 1T or starting point and when we
have thus passed n golden chain round
the huge bulk OF the earth we Shall be
hut ut the beginning of our task. We
must drag this imaginary Chain 10 less
than 1G3 times around the globe. Such
a chain would require for it's transport
10 less taan 2323 ships. eacu with fun
cargo of 5000 tons. Even then there
would be n residue Of III tons, reprc
sentihg G4.0Si 500 sovereigng
For measure of height, let us take tic
Tim sheets Of paper on which these lines
are printed. II laid ont fiat and firmly
pressed together. rs in wel-hound
book, these would represent measure
of about 1883 of an inch in thickness.
> 80 10 80 INV itSH Ct 0tBSf iiltE tbflle1
by billion of these thin napar leaves
would reach. We must, in imagination.
pile them vertically upward 10y DEGREES
reaching to the height Of our tallest
spires; and passing these the pile must
still grow higher, topping the Alps auG
Andes and tie highest peaks Of tic
lllmalayas. Still pile on your thousands
and millions Of thin leaves. for we are
only beginning to rear the mighty mass.
add millions on millions of sheets and
thousands OF miles Of these. and still the
number viii ack its due amount. when
our one billion sheets are superimposed
upon each other and pressed into n com
pact mass they have reached an altitude
of lI,3lS miles.--London Answers.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
Collects Letters Written During crusades.

NJ. Gustave Schumberger. Il Partisan
collector, has one of the Strangest hob.
lies of the world, aud interest in the
work is doubled by the variety of OBJ
jectS he seeks.
His hobby, which he has pursued for
over thirty years, has been the bringing
together of the seals formerly attached
10 the correspondence of The princes and
prelatcs settled i'll Syria in consequence
of the CruSades. In all he has secured
fifty specimens. which he intends to be-
4ueath to the French nation.
Some Of the seals are of great interest
as, for example, that of King Amaury
II. OF Jerusaiem, showing on it's reverse
the three chief buildings of the city. tl,1t
of Baian d'ilberlin. Seigneur of M
plouse, who defended Jerusalem against
Saladm III 1lST, aud that of Srigncnr
of the stronghold of Marvellous. on the
Sete9ost OF syria, which shows the for
midablc keep of the fortress. Chica~ o
Tribune
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
Too Technical.

4 small boy who lives in an impor-
tant railroad center had been accus-
toned to visiting the station and making
friends with the officers of the company
He persuaded his aunt to play train
with him the other day. lie arranged
the chairs in line and then said:
You be engineer and I'll be conduct
or Lend me your watch and get up
into the cab" He then hurried down
the platform, timepiece i'll hand.
Pull out, you red-headed, pie-faced
jay" he shouted at the astonished
young woman.
why, Wiliie..' she exclaimed in
amazement.
That's right, Chew the rag he re-
torted. Pull cut, We are five minutes
late already"
That boy is not allowed to fraternize
with railroad men any more,-New York
World.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
A Sharp-Witted Witness.

An old lady about to he sworn in n
Scotch court was requested to remove
her veil 50 as 10 he heard better. She
ftphed that she could not remove the
ven without removing her hat. The
Judge mildly suggested that she minLi
ito that also. but was rather taken ah5rl
when tie old lady said, Ma, ma; there's
nae law TO compel n woman 10 take or
fer IN Rather netted. the iudga
said, My good woman. You should come
up here ON the bench and teach ms Mo
law. Ma, ma, was the reply, there's
iHeeuty OF aud women mp there already
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
Of No Importance,

Two mon were standing together on
an East river ferryboat when one
mark:
Il can't recall his name at this mo-
ment, but he writes for number of the
magazines"
His friend looked at the stranger with
much interest.
Oh. one Of our 'frenziel finance cap
tains, is hep he asked.
mo. he
Writes up trusts and things, then?"
oh, then mes a prizefghter or an
actor-he is rather husky-looking.
No, no, He's just plain author
writes stories''
OH the friend exclaimed, the look
OF interest suddenly dying out Of his
face.-Harper's Weekly.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
Where He GOT Il

number of politicians in Washing
ton were discussing the tendency of a
certain well known political speaker in.
variably 70 allude to his party's sue
cesses rs having been directed by the
hand of Providence"
''It's most extraordinary, said Repre-
sentative John Sharp Williams. but he
really seems sincere in that conyiefion
At the same time. gentlemen. while |
haven't the least objection to the sena-
tors having an ace up his sleeve occa-
sionally ! DO wish lie would not ALWAYS
insist that Providence put it there.'-
Harper's Weekly.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
IOWA TOWN NEEDS NO ctcr
one Of It's Citizens Has Got In ~
Financial Scheme That W. Ne%

theAaA oeheme That Works
\ country merchant at WjlI;ar.
mas succeeded IN demonstrafjn" T.,
satisfaction Of the town thar ~, ''"
or paper or silver 20 -gtl
Eighteen months 2. Jobp w.,
decided that ne did H.. get pnon.,f. W t44e
from dolng business after the nsn.,} '.' "a
OIL country stores. One day ba 81,
upon the other merchants Of tb. '"l.et
and explained his new plan. IOWA
l. MS was to organize all deal,rs
oiie concern; winch would have the .y
vantage of buying in bulk ann .it 1i-
TO the best markets, while NJ tbn l'!,.il~
time controlling local trade. a.. r
with some ANNOUNCEMENTS. bpt 81. +','
succeeded IN inducing all 10 egf".
scheme. '''' LIS
Inc new concern was organized q, ST..
Williams Exchange. 1t SEM ort
-afs anu advertised that it would hs, -,
produce offered ii at current '' ,."
rates or would pay in currency .-,'. ' $751;,
in Williams stores at an advanr. ~ ~ -,
per cent over the regular market ,,l,+.
This currency consisted Of alu,n:,,''.
CONS or checks of various denoln;n,f'
marked fer instance. Good far
merchandise. The word cents was n''
derstood, but was left off to ayniJ w..
lating the federal law. On the. row..
"'S thN iieAAlC J. ne w llll3lilS Ia
change" '-s
Each member of the exchange ,..
talned his store. 1t was decided ,4t..
some experimenting to restrict thp AM
ing very largely to butter and eg.e a., h
developed that this trade wonlJ of..t
about all that the farmers needed 10 In,
So each merchant was apportiona4 ss
much of this produce as he desired a5'l
the excess stock was sent to state NAV
kets.
The exchange began with capital NJ
$4,000, fifth of which was paid un ii,
vided into shares of 500 each. viii
this money a warehouse was cqnipuri
with appliances for storing and Irp%t.qz.
ing all produce brought in.
The farmers took to the scheme rig.+
away. They now drive miles across
country, passing other towns on the u.at
for the purpose of getting the extra cent
or two cents n pound for butter err d
dozen eggs that Williams pays above. th.
surrounding places. IN the first wear tLg
exchange did $4,000 worth OF husio,>.
iii those two farm products clone. ana
of this 81 per cent WAS paid Ilr IA the
currency and but 8 per cent in cash.
Practically half Of this cash was OK
pended in the Williams stores, 50 thar
actually only $500 in money was rad
out fer the $4,000 worth Of produce.
The trade Of the town wGS doubled n
the ycar.-New York Sui.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
A Bridge Toke.

AS a rule bridge players take them.
selves so seriously that the game is sci
dom enlivened with even a suspicion Of
humor. Occasionally, however, one hears
really good joke Mt the bridge table.
At a certain mixed" card club in Lon
don four ladies sat down to a rubber.
Two of them were friends who had not
met for years. How many children
have you now, AlceY' asked one Of the
players of her friend. Six above and
four below" was the reply. "Oh. .
chimed in a third player, you have
nothing to complain of. I'm chicane -
London Taller.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
From Hungary.

a well known publisher has received
the following enteTM ming epistle from n
Hungarian reader.~ 1t is quoted verba-
tim.
Subscribed | am so free to You nm
ply and beg You would be so good on
my address a list of prices of Your pre-
cious shop upon my costs to send I
would English works buy and /
know not any English book trade.
pray You. to me for my bad
English friendly to pardon. | am a
native Hungarian and study the beauti.
full but for MS Hungarians very heavy
English language only by the way from
one and a half years.-Hoping yon will
my modest petition accomplish. | remain.
Your servant, &c
p. 81 beg to me your list of prices
win payment on delivery to send. -
1arpcr's Weekly.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
Little Maid and Her Laugh.

Little Maid and her Laugh.
Here Is a problem too deep for me,
Aud ever 10y il / must puzzled be,
Unless somebody more wise than |
WiIi kindly arise and name its why.
4 dear little maid | know
Whose laughter is so gay
I'm sure the music of its note
Would cheer the dreariest day.
More sweet than any song
That music seems to me
Whene'er ] hear the maidens laugh:
He he he he he he,
He he he he he he.
Oh, he he he he he.
He he he hei
Oh my he he!
OF course the laughter shows her slee,
Bat why not vary that he he!
All other folk know
DO vary langhter's flow;
Sometimes they chortle, ha ha ha.
And yet again 10 no!
But. though this little maid
May laugh in many a key,
Her word of bliss is aye the same:
He he he he he he!
lie he he he he he!
Oh. dear, he he he he!
On, he he he.
He he he he!
lie he he he he hei
or course her laughter's dear to me,
But why not vary that he hef
Then kindly solve this problem for me,
And tell why the maid laughs he he he.
And while you re about it,, won't YOU say
Why most of the girls do laugh that way:
San Francisco Call
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
Too Far from Market.

Soon after the Civil war Gen. Rufus
Ingalls,, L. S. A, visited a friend in the
south. according to the Saturday Even
ing Post Takin~ a walk one morning.
he met boy coming up from the river
with a fine string of fish.
What will you take fer your fish -
asked the general.
Thirty cents" was the reply.
Thirty cents.'' repeated the genera
in astonishment. Why. if YOU We're il,
New York you could get SO for them"
The boy looked critically at the officer
for moment and then said. scornfullv
Yes. snh; EN- | reckon if | had n
bucket of water i'll hell could get a mil
lion for it
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
The Beak of a Bird.

Almost every form OF animal AMI vega
table life is used rs food hy onc
another species of bird; their most la.a..
cately built homes and their ,-lodeS l
defense may be numbered by the Sc"
the care of their delicate plumage W.
alone seem to neeessitate many and
ried instruments, yet all this Is done f
its bill. or heak
tool. Both its upppr and lower laaa-
dibles are hinged to the birds skull u
giving great hexibility and freedom
movement.
Tie long. pointed bill Of the woodIt
or serves its owner we'll for peuetraJi--
ia the burrows of woodlOviuG l5.St.
The study of birds bills is III lnics.s
ing hobby.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03
a Poets Telltale Pallor.

Mrs. plaindame gazed long and
thoughtfully at a plaster cast of Shakes
peare, says the Boston Transcript, then
sighed, and remarked:
Poor man! How pale he looks. He
couldn't have been well when that was
taken
He wasn't, agreed her polite host.
"He was dead
Oh said Mrs. Plandame, drawing
sympathetic breath. that accounts for
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-02-03

Marjorie had been given some hard
peppermint cardies. and after holding
one i'll her mouth for few minutes. She
ran to her mother and cried. 20. mother,
| swallowed that candy"
Never nina" said her mother. '.it
viii not hurt volt"
Yes, | know said Marjorie. but I
lost the use of it. Exchange.