Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1906-06-07
A NJ A N A ND
A HOG

| well and the widow Carter would
| make II match OF 1t after the deacon s
year of mourning was up.
One year and TWO weeks and seven
| hours after his wife's death the deacon
sauntered around to the widows gate
! of a Sunday evening. He was In his
best clothes, and he had made up his
mind to pop the question and have the
| day set The widow sat on the We
randa whacklng at the bugs and flies,
and he took a seat beside her.
AS a prelude he began to tell her
about the drought I'm Texas, and ne had
got along as far as to state that every
COW wanting drink had to walk 100
miles for it when the widow rose up
with cry. She had espied hog in
| her back garden. 1t was spotted
hog, and his snout was playing hob
| among her Early Rose potatoes. He
had burst his way in from the alley
without reference to its being the Sab
bath day and had already rooted up u
dozen hills,
ITS a hog IN the gardenr' she ex-
planned as she turned to the deacon.
Eyes, see, and I'll soon lave him
out OF that"
1t Is said that every person born has
an antipathy. The deacon had one
and 1t was hogs. He always had two
or three in the pen, and he never
missed giving them sly whacks when
occasion offered. TO be interrupted as
he was by IA hog, and that on Sun
day to boot, made his blood boil He
might have to race that porker around
for fifteen minutes before finding out
whether the widow would say yes or
no when the real pinch came.
IL think it's one of Perkins hogs"
said the widow as the deacon slid off
the veranda and looked around for a
club
1T doesn't make any difference who
owns him, he's in your garden
"You don't mean you'll kill him?'
I'l break every bone In his body"
There was II grimness about the
deacon that the widow had never seen
before but before she could say any
thing further he set off with club in
his hand. The hog had his head turned
the other way and was very busy, and
the first thing he knew he received
such n thump across the back that he
supposed an apple tree had fallen on
him He took n skate for few rods
and then turned about and saw the
man and his club.
Anybody who thinks a hog has no
| feelings will get left. He knows the
difference between square deal and
sneak, and when he Is Inundated he
| feels rcvengcful. 1t didn't take this
particular hog over ten seconds to real
ize that he had been played low down
| and to decide on a course of acfion.
| He was near the hole he came III at.
| but he started on Il run for the house.
Moreover, he squealed as he ran.
The squealing of a hog on quiet
Sunday evening in any community Will
bring out anxious inqurers. The dea-
con knew it, but he went racing after
his victim. He lodged around the
fruit trees in his race and finally got
near enough to deliver blow. 1t was
n blow meant to kill the porker SO
stone dead that not n single bristle
would stir after the club came down,
but 1t missed the hogs nose by an inch
and hit Il tree.
"Have you killed yourself?" demand
ed the widow from the end of the
veranda as the deacon danced around
and fiirted his smarting fingers In the
air
BLAST the blamed hog" was shouted
in reply
"Why, Deacon Stillwenr'
Il say blast him, and I'll break his
blamed back before get through with
him."
There was another chase after the
hog. The porker took n turn around
the front yard doing all the damage
he could to the flower beds, and rs the
| deacon pursued him half n dozen peo-
pie We're looking on and commenting.
He knew 1t, but he continued the race.
What viii not man do to get even
with a hog? When both had reached
the potato vines again there was
tremendous effort on the deacon's part
to finish the tragedy out of hand. He
set his jaw, drew a long breath and
struck with all his might. The hog
wasn't there, and the deacon fell among
the vines and rolled over. Confused
| as he was he heard the widow chuckle,
and then and there he vowed that she
should never be his wife. When he
rose up he felt the strength of giant
| and the ilcetness of q race horse. lie
| took the trail of the hog and ran IL so
close that the porker had to make
rusli up the steps OF the yeranda TO
save his bacon.
II the widow had stood still he would
have passed her, but, of course, she
| jumped around and got in hiS way, and
! he made a dive ut her feet and brought
! her down While she lay screaming
I The deacon was coming 10 tine rescue
He leaped up on the veranda just ms
| the hog had decided TO take the back
| track ana there was another collision
and another human being thrown
| down Six neighbors were on hand
before the two people had arisen, and
the hog had disappeared through the
hole In ;he fence,