Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1906-02-06

We've got the shovels. we've got the
stuff,
Aud all can see we've got men
enough
10 Dig Dig -Dig- Dig
Here In Panama.
Enter another member. after al
short interval, posing as the agent
for a typewriter. What do We want
| with typewritem?' asked President
t'carn.
From all ] have seen and read
| was the reply. "typewriters are the
| only instruments used In canal dig
ging,"
Another chorus, another brief per
| Tod OF attention TO the good things TO
eat, and into the plaza comes q mem
Der OF the club carrying a large tele-
scope and apparently observing stars.
President Fearn naturally asked him
what he was doing.
Il am observing the canals on
Mars" was the response.
"Why?"
"They are n great success" said
the astronomer. because" he added.
with significant emphasis, there are
no trus.continental railroads on
Mars"
A man with a camera impersOnated
Poultney Bigelow In a hurried trip
OF observation, another distributed
large quantities of red tape, while
still another. after appropriate CONVEX
cation, applied for the position OF
press agent.
But you cant write" objected
President Fearn.
NO" assented the applicant, but
what's the use? Secretary Taft does
all the writing"
And Mr.. Taft joined In the merri'
ment thus occasioned at his expense.
HItchIns the Canal to AlrshIps.
The climax OF absurdity came when
the real and only genuine canal ex'
pert was presented to the commission
He announced himself as a man who
believed only in theories and had nc
use for facts. "Canals?" he repeated
why, l am the greatest canal exper'
who ever came to this country at thu
invitation of the government. know
all about canals. l "a born on tn
Chesapeake and Ohio. and have
made an especial study Of the habitl
. OF mules and other motive power.
what Is your idea about digginl
q this canal?"
d III IL a very simple proposition,
was the prompt response. Give tn
i money to me and | will show you HOY
:. to get a canal that will be an endurin
i. monument and won't require the us
Of a single steam shovel" And the
the expert, with n fine burst of eli
!, quence and m impressive manner, al
!, nOunced his plan. The CANAL b
!. said, is forty-seven miles long,
! propose to build forty.seven mammot
air ships, each one mile long. Then
~ y I % build a nice. commodiot
~ canal and hitch It to the airships. Th'
!. will obviate any OF the cuts. 1t wi
!. be perfectly level and accommoda'
!. the largest ships" As an expei
~ amid shouts or laughter. was vivid
- picturing the ships sailing throut
~ TIE air, with their masts pointed II
he blue empyrean. he was rudely ]
terrupted by one OF the commissio
ers. who wanted to know how
~ would get the vessels up into q
~ canal.
~ Sir. said the expert. with mo-
. dignity, Il am now talking as a can
- expert. II you wish my views as
marine expert. you must give me a
other retainer
At this point the commissioners al
RS the chiefs and the expert burst In
It song. At the conclusion Of the mus
SITS the room was suddenly d~arkened, al
ais upon the screen was thrown a pictu
OF the completed canal. 1t was !
in ceived with a whirlwind OF applau;
srs An Ovation for the President.
nd With the conclusion OF the can
Ity' drama everyone was on the Qui vi
ht- for a speech from President Roos
III, welt.
he II really was not necessary to {
ouse the audience to the point Of
y" ovation for the president. but enth
siasm was stimulated in a stirril
he song. The verses humorously to
he how all the great events Of the pa
,at could have been brought to q mo
an. prompt conclusion II they had on
". been managed by Roosevelt. while 7
chorus
he So good luck to you and good heal
TO You.
We bid you a welcome her
With a loud huzza and a hip! hurra
We join in a rousing cheer!
u.av cnuv NTH almost dramatic o,