Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-07

son for our second daughter with
Angelica and Rosamond settled we
could turn our attention to Catherine
Twenty-six her next birthday, amt
she? | don't see the use of denying
it. She oughn't to be as unmarked
able as the others. and we could be
little more particular who we hitched
her up to. / don't see why we
couldn't catch one of those dudes with
a rich father for her. Dudes haven't
much sense anyway, and if the father
thinks he's marrying plain, honest
girl instead of getting tangled up with
some variety actress or designing per-
son, he ought to come down handsome
and make settlement on the Willie
boy I'd be willing, for my part, to
make a fair settlement on the girl, al
ways providing she didn't spell her
name with a *. She wasn't born that
way, and my grandmother, that she
was named after was Catherine till
she died, with two husbands to her ac-
count at that. The * has queered
Kate to my thinking, and now we'll
see what can be done without it. In
addition to lump sum-say twenty
thousand-she could have a piano and
ma and pas portraits That ought
to he enough to start her housekeep-
ing, and the dude couldn't say she
came to him empty handed. The ping
pong prizes she could throw out in
the ash heap.
Twenty thousand is pretty big lump
sum to put into one girl, but to have
her on our hands for ten summers more
at one thousand a summer would bring
it up to ten thousand, and who knows
that it mightnt he twenty years? No,
I'll be liberal in this matter and no one
can accuse me of driving a hard bar
gain
Inhuman parentsds Now, that's where
you're wrong, Mrs. SimcoX! Most hui
name and considerate! Am | not trying
to do the very thing for our daughters
you've been trying for these last ten
years? The only difference is that you
call it by other names. Do you believe
the neighbors are fooled when you say
you are taking the girls to these places
for their health and a change of air"
Not for a minute. They know as we'll
as YOU do that it is in the frantic hope
of getting husbands for them, and
when you come home year after year
without even BOBBY prize do you sup
pose they don tknow that, too?
The girls understand the game them
selves as we'll as anybody, though
probably like you, they wouldn't own
up to it
What's that? Needn't tell the neigh
bors? No. | know | needn't, but / don't
have to throw a bluff before you, do II
These girls have got to be settled. and
If l find that your way of bossing the
job is a failure isn't it the milk OF
human kindness on my part to offer to
help you out? I'm a busy man, as you
know, and it is a sheer waste of my
valuable time, but / hate to see you
and the girls disappointed summer af-
ter summer, to say nothing of good
money thrown clean away Confess
that no one would feel better pleased
than you at disposing of at least one Of
your daughters before the first of Sep
tember. As for the girls themselves,
I can thoroughly appreciate the NOR
tification you and they must feel each
successive autumn after all your sew
ing and preparations. Even dude
is better than nothing when you've
been making clothes for three months
and take expensive rooms at a hotel.
l didn't use to think so, but ten sum-
mers make you change your mind
Now. Mrs SimcoX, get ont your
monogram note paper and write po-
lite notes to all the dudes Of your ac-
and ask 'em down over
Sunday and I'll put up for their board
and keep. But they're not to be al
lowed to think it's merely for the
a crazy man could enjoy the society
of dude-but let them understand
from the start that a fair return is
They eat my food and they
marry my daughters. The old man
isn't putting dudes up at fashionable
hotels and paying for their subscrip-
tions at casinos for them to go off and
get engaged elsewhere when he has
three unattached members of his fam
lily ready to kneel and tie the dudes
shoestrings, Not much! It's come
and be fed and take your choice of
the bunch. There amt much choice.
admit, but you've got to make it
before you escape-thats the way to
talk, Mrs. SimccX! . For ten
years We've tried sentiment; Wen
now see what cold, hard business can
do, You'll admire my system when
you see 1t in working order. And
now call in the girls and tell them
this summer is to see them all fitted
out with husbands. But break it
gently, for we don't want to lose any
IF them with heart disease before the
cards can get out