davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1906-03-17
For Over Sixty Years

Mrs. WIEsLow's SOOTHING SYRUP has been
used for over 60 years by millions Of mothers
success. 1t soothes the child. softens the gums,
allays all PAIN cures wind collie. and is The best
remedy for Diarrhoea. II will relieve the poor
IN every part of the world. twenty-five cents
q bottle. Be sure and ask for "Mrs. Winslow' .
Soothing Syrup and take no other kind.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1906-03-17

Having pocketed a fat fee for
steering us up against the canal
Trouble, William Nelson Cromwell
is now telling US that it is none of
our business what he received for
it The Commoner.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1906-03-17

The principle of doing one thing
and doing that we'll has made som e
farmers rich; it is the opposite
course of fritterous farming that
has kept many poor.-Rev. Thos
S. Snow
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1906-03-17
| ". c. |. j. COLUMN.
The w. G. T. U. will meet with
Miss Addie Reese Thursday,
March 22nd, at 3 p. m.
TEMPERANCE IN ENGLAND.
ONe Edlled BY mas. u. A. BENeFIELp. e


In England, the drink habit has
long been painfully on the increase
but reaction seems now to have
fairly set in. There has been
marked falling off since the statis-
tics of 1899 were made public in
the per capita consumption of,spir-
it's. 1t is still uncomfortable large
but shows that the tide has turned.
Public sentiment against hard
drinking grows. 1t is bad form
socially. and drunkenness at a SOC
ial event is now reckoned as an al
most objectionable crime. The
decline in the per capita consump-
ton cannot be attributed wholly to
hard times; for, as matter OF fact,
the income of the middle and up.
per classes has increased about 80
per cent in ten years. In England
as in the United States, competi-
ton in business has increased, and
this is also making for sobriety.
There has also been much temper
ance agitation in labor circles, and
English economists have pointed
out repeatedly that the inability
of the British workingman to con.
tend successfully with American
workingmen is owing to his drink
ing habits. and these must be cor
rected, or England will lose her
commercial supremacy. Ali these
things are tending to a better state
of affairs.
DRINKING PLACES IN IRELAND.
According to lecture given by
the very Rev. DR.. Coffey, of May.
nooth, in a County Roscommon
Roman Catholic church, there are
now $4,000 licensed drinking places
in Ireland, or one for every ITO
members of the population.
AN AID TO TEMPERANCE.
The general introduction of
street cars in English towns has
diminished the consumption of
beer. Workingmen on their way
home to the suburbs in the even.
ing are now carried past the sa-
looms at which they used to linger.
THE SECRET OF INTELLIGENCE.
Christian sobriety, not alcohol,
is the secret of intelligence. The
intellect grows upon what it feeds
upon. Feed it on the gossip of
the wine shop and the saloon. bar,
and it will be trivial and shallow.
Feed it with great truths and it be.
comes great. No one ever sent
beer to pagan land and turned
the crooked stick into steel pillow,
or the cannibal's kettle into bak.
cry; but Christianity has done that
over and over again. 1t touches a
heather land with it's temperance
teachings, and houses with glass
windows take the place of mud
huts. Schools spring up where
ghost dances an d snake. dances
were won't to be held.-Christian
Endeavor World.
wHIsKEY AND CRIMINALS.
Judge Wofiord, of the Criminal
Court, Kansas City, is not afraid
to say what he believes. IN sen.
fencing man for a crime commit
ted while under the influence of
liquor, he said: Talk about
money being the root of all evil; if
it produces more evil than whisky
does, it must have a mighty big
root. Whisky is responsible for
most of the downfalls of men.
Three forth of the time of every
criminal court in the civilized
world is taken up with cases grow.
ing out of whisky drinking"
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1906-03-17

A good way to dull your wits is
to hunt up people who will always
agree with you, and associate only
with them.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1906-03-17

Sarah Bernhard has accepted
an invitation to lay the cornerstone
of new theatre at Chattanooga.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1906-03-17

GA. dose in time saves lives" DR..
Woods Norway Pine Syrup; NATURES
remedy for coughs, colds. pulmonary
diseases of every sort. For sale by the
], f. Grow Drug Co.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1906-03-17

Some of the greatest sorrows in
life have been the result of getting
just what we sought after 30 dill
gently.
The Jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 18??-1907, 1906-03-17

G La - ~ ~ IA. Z -.
Bears the n The Kind You Have Always Bought
Signature sf L@4HzzsNzzu
The San Francisco call., 1906-05-20
T7lE DERWsYE5-ARK 5DRPOND TO BE
STILL sRCI1VJ1IVG

did one of the neatest jobs of house
cleaning on record.
The bloodthirsty mob, led by the
Khalifa, or Dowie, of the Soudan, charged
across an open plain. Each determined
dervish carried in his right hand six
foot spear, with which he hoped to do
considerable damage. When he still
lacked about a mile of being within pok-
ing distance of the hated infidel, the ma
chine guns opened up and began to sweep
the plain back and forth in long regular
swaths, just as the sickle sweeps through
the yellow grain. 1t was quite handicap
for the invincible children of Allah. They
could not use their siX-foot spears on any
one a mile away, and before they could
recover. from the chagrin occasioned by
this unexpected move on the part of the
enemy, about IL 900 of them had winged
their way to eternal happiness and the
others were radiating in all directions,
pursued by those who wished to civilize
them and bring them under British con-
troll. Those of the dervishes who escaped
are supposed to be still running. At
least they never came back to start an
other Messiah movement.
Ten years ago the Soudan was sealed
to. the whole world and death waited for
the unbeliever who crossed the border.
Today. the table d'hote roams unafraid,
and the illustrated postcard blooms even
as the rose
The Nile OF which you have. read and
along which are scattered the Simon Pure
The San Francisco call., 1906-05-20

ener went down to call on them. OF all
the cold-blooded and frozen-n ma tured
military tacticians of the inexorable
school Kitchener stands pre- eminent
General Grant in his grimmest moment
was absolutely emotional and acrobatic
as compared with Kitchener He carried
ice water in his veins and his mental
machinery licked with Birmingham reg
ularity He did not get excited and dash
into the open trap, as all the others had
done. He moved slowly but relentlessly
into the dread country and built a rail-
road as he went along. He carried every
thing that a British army needs-marma-
lade, polo ponies, Belfast ginger a-e.
timed meats, pipe clay, etc.
we cannot stampede them. because
stampeding is their speciality" said
Kitchener, but l will HEX them by
algebra
He did not say this, because he never
said anything, but this is what he indi-
Gated by his calm preparations. He knew
that the dervishes were -frothing at the
mouth and praying Allah to give them
another chance to swim in gore, so he
simply edged up TO within striking dis
tance of them and picked out his ground
and waited. A kinetoscope hero would
have galloped up and down the line,
shouting. TIP, men. and at them" But
Kitchener was not a hero. He was busi-
ness manager OF an abattoir. His object
was not to win a great battle, but to ex-
terminate species. And: he probably
The San Francisco call., 1906-05-20

originated IN Egypt during the time OF
the Ptolemies This is a sample of the
kind of idiotic observation that is sup
posed to enlfven so-called pleasure trip.
But let us get back to the river. for in
Egypt one must get back to the river
at least once every twenty minutes. The
Nile is Egypt and Egypt is the Nile All
this description may sound Ike a few
pages from the trusty red guide book
and yet the word Egypt will have no
meaning to the reader who does not get
clear panoramic vision of this wonder
fully slim waisted country. Nearly six
hundred miles long and yet containing
only twelve thousand five hundred square
miles, about the size of Maryland.
The strip of black land which Yields the
plentiful crops is nowhere more than
ten miles wide a mere fringe of fertil-
ity weaving along through dryness and
desolation. Anywhere along the river II
you viii c!imbfto the rocky plateau, you
will see the slow moving river, probably
a half-mile wide, as CLASSY thread on
which are. strung fields of living green,
bordered by the dreary uplifts of desert
The traveller who goes by boat from Cairo
to Assouan sees all of Egypt. The cities
and temples and ltombs of olden times
were perched on the high spots or planted
In the bare hills. so as to be safe from
the annual rise of waters. Anything worth
seeing in the whole country is within an
easy donkey ride of the river bank The
river is the only artery to travel. There
The San Francisco call., 1906-05-20
fEW or THE NILE
wG.i

monuments of antiquity is the sixty miles
of winding river between Assouan, the
First Cataract and the sea. For the en-
tire distance until it spreads into fan
shaped delta and filters into the Mediter-
ranean, the stream is walled in by fiat
topped hills of barren aspect. They are
capped with limestone and carpeted about
with shifting sands and they look for
all the world like the mesas of New
Mexico and Arizona, for they lie baking
in the same kind Of clarified sunshine
This meandering' hollow between the
rugged hill ranges is the Valley of the
Nile. Here and there the hills close in
until the river banks are high and chalky
cliffs. At one point the valley spreads to
a width of thirty-three miles.
East and west of the hills are vast
areas of desert without even spear of
vegetation except where there is a
miraculous rise Of water to the surface.
The spots are grateful landmarks of tall
palms and are known az GASES.
The Valley of the Nile would be just
as bare and monotonous as an asphalt
pavement were it not for the fact that
once year the Nile overiows. 1t has
been 1overflowing every year for thou
sands OF years, bringing down from t, ,
mountains of Abyssinia and the far
away regions of tropical rains a spreading
volume OF muddy water. Every winter,
when the dwindling stream gets back
into the customary bed, 1t has left layer
or black sediment over the inundated dis
The San Francisco call., 1906-05-20
HEW OF THE Nils
No z

trict. So many layers of sediment have
been deposited that now the rich black
soil is thirty to fifty feet deep along. the
river. thinning out as it meets the slope
of the desert. Unlike our prairie soil of
the middle west, the Nile farm lands, are
not underlaid with clay. The Nile soil
is black all the way down to limestone
floury mineral powder of even COM
position. The only parts of Egypt which
can be cultivated are those touched by
the annual overflow. Egypt is really
ribbon of alluvial soil following the stream
on either side. The tourist standing on
the top deck of a Nile steamer can see
both to east and west the raw and broken
edges of the desert.
The entire population lives on the river,
literally and figuratively. Dark robed
women come down to the stream in end
less professions to fill their water, Jars,
and 1t seems that about every forty feet
or SO all the way up from Cairo the in
dustrious fellah is lifting water up the
bank and irrigating his little field with
the same. d-fashioned sweep and bucket.
arrangement that was in use when Joseph
came over to Egypt and attracted t.,
attention of Potiphar's wife. The Egyp-
ton farmer is called "a fellah. The cloth
ing that he wears would wad gun
that is, rifle, not a shotgun. He puts
in at least fourteen hours day and
his pay is from ten to fifteen cents. Mr..
Peasley told a tourist the other day that
the song Hes Jolly Good Fellah'
The San Francisco call., 1906-05-20
JOHN HENRY DISCUSSES BRIDGE WHIST

was not his property to dispose of a.
&c. J."
When my wife got flash of this letter
she made kick to- the effect that 1t
was some kind of a cipher, possibly the
beginning of a secret correspondence.
4. 1t. was up to me to hand Gladys the
frosty get-back so this is. what I said:
RESPECTED Madam: I'm slob on
that bridge whist thing, plain poker being
the only game with cards that ever
coaxes my dough from the stocking, but
I'll do the advice gag II 1t chokes me:
Bridge whist is played with cards,
just like pinochle, with the exception of
the beer.
mot enough cards is a misdeal; too
many cards is a mistake and cards UP
the sleeve is a slap on the front piazza
if they catch you at 1t.
You shouldn't get up and ~---ce the
snakentine dance every time you take
trick. 1t looks more genteel and pic
turesque 10 do the two-step.
Don't forget what is trumps more
than. eighteen times during one hand.
The limit used to be twenty-six times,
but since the INSURANCE people have been
playing Hyde and seek the best bridge
whist authorities have put the limit down
to eighteen.
1T isn't wise to have a conniption fit
every time you lose trick. Nothing
JOCKS SO bad as compton fit when
it doesn't match the complexion and
generally it delays the game.
When the game is close don't get
excited and climb up on the table. 1t
shows a want of refinement. especially If
you are. not a quick climber
Never whistle while waiting for some
one to play. Whistling is not in good
taste Go over and bite out a couple
of tunes on the piano.
don't ever hit him carelessly across the
forehead with the bric-a-brac. Always
remember when you are in society that
bric-a-brac is expensive.
Don't lead the ten Of clubs by mis-
take for the ace Of trumps and then get
The San Francisco call., 1906-05-20

tobacco jar or a trousers str tcherp'
fourth noor, to the left; take the
elevator!" said the lady's voice.
With bowed head walked away.
began to feel sorry for my wife. 81
Nobody seemed to- be very much inter-
ested whether she got birthday present
or not. sss sf
On the fourth floor 1 stopped at
counter where lot of eager DANES were
paving over some chinchilla ribbon and
chiffon overskirts.
It reminded me- OF the way our dog
digs. up the vegetables in the garden.
l enjoyed the excitement of the game
for about ten minutes and then / said to
the clerk behind the counter who was
refereeing the match: Can you tell me
where I can buy sterling silver BIRTH
day present for my wife which could
use afterward as q night key or a bath
sponge?"
Fifth floor, to the rear; take the
elevator!' said the clerk -
On the fifth floor / went over to a
table where young lady was selling ''The
Life and Libraries of Andrew Carnegie.
at four dollars month and fifty cents
week. and in three years it is yours if,
you don't lose the receipts.
She gave me a glad smile and felt
thrill of. encouragement.
Excuse me- said, "but 1 am looking
for birthday present for my wife which
will make all the neighbors jealous, and
which can use afterward as an ash
receiver or a pocket flask" -
The young lady cut out the jiggles and
pointed to the northwest. -
Invent over there. 80
To my surprise found another counter.
A pale young woman was behind it.
was just about to ask her. the fatal
question when a young man wearing q
ragtime expression on his face rushed up
and said to the young lady behind the
counter: II am looking for a suitable
present for young lady friend of mine
with. golden. brown hair, Could you
please suggest something?"
Then came an old lady who said: Il
The San Francisco call., 1906-05-20
BY GEORGE v. HOBART.

received a letter the other day that
put me over the ropes ,
I'll paste ii up here just to snow you
that it's on the level:
Philadelphia, This Week.
Dear John: have never met you per-
sonally. but I've heard my brother, Teddy,
speak of you so often that you really
seem to be one of the family.
(Teddy talks slang something fierce.)
Dear John. will you please pardon
the liberty ! take in grabbing a two
cent stamp and jumping so uncere-
moniously.sat one who is, after all,
perfect stranger?
Dear John, If you look around you
can. see on every hand that the glad
season of the year is here, and If you
listen attentivelys you may hear the
hoarse cry of the summer resort
beckoning us to that bourne from
which no traveller returns without get
ting his pocketbook dislocated.
Dear John. could you please tell me
how to play bridge whist so that when
/ go to thu seashore l will be armed
for defraying expenses.
Dear. John, am sure that if
could play bridge whist llouc enough
TO win four dollars every once in awhile
/ could spend a large bunch of the sum-
mer at the seashore.
Dear John, would you tell loving but
perfect stranger how to play the game
without having to wear a mask?
Dear John. played a couple of games
recently with a wide-faced young man
who grew very playful and threw the
parlor furniture at me because trurnped
his ace. fancy ! must have did wrong
The fifth. time trumped his ace the young
man arose. put on his gum shoes and
skeedaddled out of the house. Is It not
considered a breach of etiquette to put
on gum shoes In the presence of a lady?
IF you please. dear John. tell me how
TO play bridge whist
Yours fondly.
GLADYS JONES.
"P. S.-The furniture which he threw
The San Francisco call., 1906-05-20

mad and jump seventeen feet In the air
because they refuse to let you pull 1t
back.
There. Gladys, il you follow these
rules think you can play the ga-.-5 of
bridge without putting a bruise on the
Monroe doctrine 81
"P. S.-When you play for money al
way bite the coin to see if it means as
much as it looks.''
The next day, in order to square my
self with my wife for getting a letter /
hadn't any use for, went to one of those
New York department stores to get her
a birthday present.
Say! did you ever get tangled up in
one Of these department store mobs and
have crowd of perfect ladies use you
for door mat?
got minel
They certainly taught me the Rojest-
vensky slides all right!
At the doorsof the department store a
nice young, man with a pink necktie and
a quiclzeforehead bowed to me.
What do you wish?,' he asked.
" ell, said, I'm down here to get
a birthday present for my wife. would
like something which would afford her
great pleasure when give 1t to her and
which gould use afterwards as a PEN
wiper or fishing rod
Second floor, to the right: take the
elevator, said the man.
DID you ever try to take an elevator
in a department store and find that 3943
other american citizens and, citizenesses
We're also trying to take the same eleva-
tor?
How sweet it is to mingle in the arms
OF utter strangers and to feel the gentle
pressing of a foot we never hope to meet
again!
| was standing by one of the counters
on the second floor when a shrill voice
crept up over few bales of dry goods
and said, Are you a buyer or a handler? ?"
am looking for birthday present
for my wife. l answered. II want to
get something that will look swel. on the
parior table and may be used later, as
The San Francisco call., 1906-05-20

bought some organdie dress goods for a
shirt waist last Tuesday and.I would like
to exchange them for "a music box. for
my daughters little boy. Freddie. il you
pleased" - ,s5.
; The saleslady again showed her teeth
and the old lady ducked for cover.
After about fifty people had rushed up
to the saleslady and then rushed away
again. I went lover and spoke to her.
Il am looking" said, for birthday
present for my. WIFE,. I want to get
something that will give her a great
amount of pleasure and which can use
later on as a pipe cleaner or pair Of
suspenders.,' -
The saleslady tainted. so moved over
At another, counter another young lady
said to me: Have yous been waited on?'
NO I, replied. IT have been stepped
on, sat on and walked on, but have not
yet been waited on.
What do you wish?" inquired the
young woman.
'T am looking for a birthday present
for my wife, said II want to buy her
something that Will bring great joy TO
her heart and which / might use after
ward as pair of slippers or a shaving
mug. 4,
.You.' she screamed, s.you complete a
total of 23.4eS people who have been in
this department store to-day without
knowing what they are doing here. and
/ refuse to be a human encyclopedia for
the sake of eight dollars week. On
your way for yours,"
I began to apologize, but she reached
down under the counter and pulled out
q club.
This, she said, with a wild look in
her side lamps; this is. the happy sum
mer season. but. nevertheless. the next
guy that leaves his rains at home and
tries to make me tell him what is good
birthday present for his wife win get a
bitter swipe across the forehead,''
1t was up to me, 30 went home with
out present.
Copyright. 1905. by C. W. Dillingham;
ComDany.)
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-08
Friday Night, AIice NRfTNen

A musical event of unusual interest will take place at the Montgomery Theatre Friday night, when Miss Alice Neilsen appears with d special eom- pany of European artists in Donizettis comedy opera, Don Pasquale."
 The Birmingham Age Herald of We'd nesday, March 2, says:
 Five people, without special scenry and without d chorus, achieved an ar tistic triumph at the Jefferson Theatre last night when dainty Alice Neilsen sang in Don Pasquale." assisted by Alfonso Rosa as Don Pasquale, Filippo Fratodi as Dr. Malatesta, Francesca Pratt as Ernesto and Francesca Artichi as the notary.
 Donizettis brilliant and captivating opera was rendered in flashing style and the reception accorded Miss Neilsen was most enthusiastic It was rare pleasure to again see the radiant little woman who has been so bountifully blessed with beauty and talent. The past few years which she has spent abroad have left no trace of their flight, for Miss Neilsen is as dainty as ever.
 Miss Nielson's company was excel lent MT Pratt as Ernesto revealed a tenor voice of remarkable quality sweet and as clear as a bell while AL fonso Rosa proved himself an actor of no mean ability as Don Pasquale. He made the character decidedly comic and acquitted himself in an able man. ner Filippo Fratodi as the doctor was satisfactory, while the remaining | role, that of the notary, was of minor 1 importance.
 The cordial welcome which she re- | ceived wreathed her pretty face with
 smiles. adv
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-08
VIII Gather statistics.

As a result of correspondence be- tween Joseph B. Babb, secretary Of the director of the United States Census, statistics will be prepared showing the total value of misunderstanding and in dustriaI establishments in the county
 MT. Babb has received a letter from Mir. North. in answer to letter writ ten by him some days ago, protesting Birmingham in the recent compilation of statistics regarding Alabamas in oustrial development. in which the eeLsus director admits the pos3lpll.l,tyy .,L y rlbIication of incomplete figures, and ho agrees to print a statement show ing the totals for all manufactures in Jrffcrson county This will require several days to prepare but it will in
 large degree, make amends for the l injustice done the Magic City In the | figures recently given out
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-08
Cbe CbeatreS
Harrfs-Parkinson Company.

Tn the Heart of the Blue Ridge. a rural melodrama, was played at the Bijou Theatre last night by the Har- ris- Parkinson Company, who began d two weeks engagement at the pretty little theatre Monday night. The scene Of the play is laid in sunny Tennessee and a responsive chord was therefore struck in the hearts of the audience who saw the show. ..
 The disagreeable night made it i'm possible for many persons to venture out in the weather to see the perform ance, thereby decimating the numbers that would most likely have attended the show If the elements had been more favorable.
 The star, hero and all absorbing ac- tor of the melodrama again proved to be Robert Fl. Harris. He is always pleasing and he did not disappoint last night. an entertaining character were intro duced New Illustrated songs were put on a series of moving pictures were interesting and the buck dancing. exc cuted by the Phelps Trio, was excel- lent
 at today's matinee and night perform ances. ..: