The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1906-01-13
9 Cd
Short tories

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A rich heiress once said, compla-
Gently, to a very beautiful but very
poor girl: Il had five offers Of mar
riage last week" you are more for
tunate that l." said the pretty girl;
Il only got declarations OF love"
Would you mind walking the other
way and not passing the horseY' said
a London cabman, with exaggerated
politeness, to the fat lady who had
just paid the minimum fare. "WhyT
she inquired Because II e sees wet
'e's been carrying for a shilling 'e'lI
ave fit," was the freezing answer.
An innkeeper once had the good for
tune to entertain his sovereign, who
consumed, among other things, cou-
pie of eggs, for which he was charged
guinea apiece. Eggs must be very
scarce here" remarked his royal high
ness, as he scanned the bill. mo,
sire" was the answer, but kings
are"
A gentleman once possessed a val
liable sporting dog which was ex-
tremely clever In the retrieving Of
game. The owner, however, was a re-
markedly bad shot, and one day, on
firing both barrels hastily at a rabbit,
he heard a mournful howl. The next
moment his dog appeared, carrying a
black object In his mouth, and laid 1t
carefully at his masters feet. Inc
animal had retrieved his own tail.
The great opera singer, Nine. Grisi,
who was married to Signor Mario, the
tenor, was singing in St Petersburg.
The Emperor, the father of the pres
ent one, gave Nine. Grisi permission
to walk In his private park. One
morning the Emperor met Nine. Grisi,
accompanied by two little girls. The
Emperor saluted her, and said: Are
these two GrisettesY mo, your maj
esty," replied Nine Grisi, those are
two Marionettes."
A fire occurred on promised rent.'d
!. by Jews in London. The circumstances
were somewhat suspicious, and an
agent OF the insurance company was
sent to investigate. He interviewed
the senior partner, and also the junior
. partner, as to the probable cause OF
the fire. This was his report: Il find
/ that the senior partner thinks 1t was
| caused by an arc light on. the second
floor; the junior partner thinks 1t was
| caused by an incandescent light "a
/ the first fioor-but my opinion is thai
{ 1t was caused by an Israellte In the
BASEMENT
Bishop Joseph Wilmer, of Louisiana
and Bishop Richard Wilmer, Of Ala
/; bama, are cousins and intimate
l friends. In their travels In Italy on
l summer, the Bishop of Alabama wal
2 pointing out with enthusiasm certain
= architectural beauties. The Bishop o
r Louisiana was bored. He said: 1T
e all very fine, Cousin Dick, but, never
! theless, a rich field, fragrant with tn
s odor Of new mown hay, would pleas
j me better" And the Bishop of Ala
e bama replied: cousin Joe, there's no
n a donkey in all Italy that would no
t agree with you"
Chan Chun Man, head of a Canto
firm employing over ten thousan
hands, has been studying American III
dustries. In Philadelphia, apropos o
: the Chinese awakening, he said: "Ch
;. ma has for thousands of years bee
highly enough civilized to despise wal
. Her newborn respect for war is nc
. an unmixed good. There is, perhaps
. little Of degeneration. of barbarisu
!. in 1t. But at least China will no Ions
n err be the laughing stock of nation
. more warlike than herself. 1t will 4
4 longer be possible to say Of her, as
A Chinese general once explained d
. feat with the following report: I'll
n ignorant enemy, unaware that CUR
v could not be fred against an obje'
e behind them, came upon us from I'll
A. rear and thus rendered all our canno
|