davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-10

We're very KIND 10 Wepb Guy ana paid
her $50
The sporting editor of the Joplin
News Herald has picked a team of red
headed players from The Western AS
sOciatiOn and a team of the gray-haired
ones to oppose the red-headed ones. He
has them advertised for a post season
game This is the way he has them
lined up:
Reds. Position Grays-
Check ....#...... catcher Armstrong
Craig, Herr,
Root ........... pitchers -..... Meredith
Reed .-..--..... first base ....-.- Cooley
Downs ........ second base. Bankhead
Wiser ........third base. Andrews
Casey .....-...- short stop .....-. Risley
Cole .......-..left field. Dalrymple
Davis ...-.... center field $50. Hurlburt
Wilson right field. Baerwald
Goodman ...----- umpire Jacobs
Jay Andrews says that such a game
would be a walk-away for the grand
paps.
Cecil Bankhead. the second baseman
of the Joplin team, was injured in
collision in the game with Oklahoma
City yesterday afternoon. His collar
bone was broken and it is not thought
likely that he Will be able to play any
more this season. His loss will work d
great handicap on Joplin in her chances
to win the bunting.
Nick Kahl took charge of the Leaven-
worth team yesterday afternoon They
won from Springfield in a hair-raising
ninth inning finish. A couple of singles
followed by a home run of Walter
Queisser's put the Soldiers one run to
the good
Since joining the Springfield team
Jimmy Cravens, who was released by
= -a On hos
tai list most of the time with an at
tack of fever. He pitched yesterday S
game against LeaVenWOrth and had it
won up till the ninth inning when with
two on bases QUeisser put the ball
over the fence. The only other game
he has pitched for Springfield was
against the White Sox and he won this
/ with ease.
Detroit IS now after speer and is said
to have made OVertures to him. With
/ the cream of this association DetrOii
ought to have no trouble in winning
/ the American league pennant next year
now don't laugh-that's gospel
Wichita goes to Joplin today and they
are confident of winning at least two
out Of the three from the Miners
+ Wichita has a much stronger team thar
+ at any previous time this season anC
i there is nothing that would suit To-
/ peka better than to have her take three
from the Miners.
Here is some Joplin dope from tht
American: At bat the two teams are
about equal but in the field Joplin un-
/ doubtediy has the best Of 1T. The Mi
ners team work as well as individual
fielding is undeniably superior to any
thing the COoleycrows can show arc
/ the general back of the team is in ev-
! cry particular the equal Of Dick Cooley
! Of Topeka In the pitching department
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-10
Be Sure to Get What
You Ask For.

n AHERE is a Reason
Why the Good People of Amer
lea buy Casoarets as Fast as the
IL Clock Ticks.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-10

Where they play tomorrow:
Oklahoma City at Topeka.
Webb City at Leavenworth.
Wichita at Joplin.
Springfield at Hutchinson.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-10

The sporting editor Of the Joplin
News Herald has picked a team of red
headed players from The Western AS
ISOLATION and a team of the gray-haired
ones to oppose the red-headed ones. He
has them advertised for a post season
49,. p
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05

The biennial debate has broken out
among the Republican politicians and
newspapers concerning the time for
holding the Republican state convention.
Some are in favor of a late convention
in September or October-others are in
favor of holding it as early as April so
as to have it over with Still others be-
lieve June or July would be the time.
There is argument in favor of all
propositions. The Wichita Eagle and
the Leavenworth Times take a stand
for a late convention in order to avoid
having so much politics strung out
for months. And besides, they argue, if
the convention is put off till September
or October the people may have made
up their minds whom they wish for
United States senator, and they may
also wish to register their choice in the
state convention.
Judge Peters, of the Newton Kansan,
registers himself in favor of an early
convention-about the middle of April
on the ground that it will give the peo-
pie more time to learn about the candi-
dates. Judge Peters also declares in
favor of the nomination of tSle Republi-
can candidate for United States senator
by the state convention.
Both of these positions are somewhat
amusing. for in practice the sacts are
the opposite Of the theories on which
they are based. For instance, we will
doubtless have more politics much
at least-by having a late convention as
we would by having it early and getting
the agony over with. If the convention
is held late the candidates will be kept
milling around through the state all
during the spring and summer There
viii be states made and broken. and the
political pot viii be kept boiling all the
time. If the convention We're held early
the unsuccessful candidates would be
put out of their misery, and there would
be a long breathing spell all during the
summer until the campaign should be
opened in the fall.
Then there is Judge Peters argument
that an early convention allows the
people to find out about the candi-
dates. That is all right theoretically
but in practice it is very erroneous. It
might work to the good of the public in
states that are close politically, but in
Kansas a nomination on the Republi-
can ticket is equivalent to an election.
After the nominations are made it is
too late to make any charges Any
thing that is found out about candidates
subsequent to the state convention ev-
identity does no good. Kansas had a
forcible object lesson along that line
last year. The state convention was
called early in order to start the ball
rolling for the nomination Of President
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.

IFrom the Atchison Globe.J
Vanity in a woman is bad enough,
but conceit in man is worse.
The average woman does love to
boast Of having sat up with the sick.
Divorces are hereditary in families.
the same as req hair and weak eyes.
The trouble with being a peacemaker
IS that you are liable to be accused u
butting in.
Your successes in life have pro-
voking faculty Of looking rs il they
just happened so.
4 man is too stiff to keep step with
the fashions after he IS 40, but woman
Will keep pace till she is 70.
The sensation of blushing would be a
familiar one to most Of US if We knew
how often We We're thought nuisance.
After a man reaches 45, he is too cid
to buy anything ON the installme'it plan
that 1t takes more than six rcct-s to
pay fof.
There are said to be 81 ways for
cooking q steak, and every woman
seems to know all but &c Of them.
The days are growing longer but it
isn't going to help you any If the sun
stays up till midnight If you continue
to shorten your day by wasting time.
As a general thing. those who re-
fresh their souls every morning by
memorizing q bit Of poetry, are late to
work and lose their jobs. and can af-
terward take q whole day to It.
Here is a new way to talk about
a wedding: You were there; you saw
the bride, but you didn't notice the
groom, did you? Perhaps there was no
groom. She knew no one would notice
the difference so She got married with
out one. Isn't that just like her?
The real facts about a sudden death
in Atchison some time ago were sup
pressed. but are now made public. The
man, as do a majority of Atchison men.
ate his breakfast at $50. He was at
work down town by z, and reached
home for dinner at 1890 Just as he
entered the house, a caller in the par
Tor get up to depart. His wife accom-
panied the caller to the door, and when
she returned some time after, her hus-
band lay dead on the floor. He had
starved to death! The woman says she
was only half minute seeing her CALI
er depart but opinions differ as to
this.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
A Natural Error.

A travelling man says that he once
had occasion, while in Maryland, to
make a business call upon the proprie-
tor of a general store" in a town on the
eastern shore. Now this proprietor was
known on all sides to be illiterate.
Nevertheless, he would never concede
the truth of the general impression.
The travelling man says that when he
entered the store, the proprietor was en-
gagged in a business conversation with a
customer, who. as he turned to go, said:
by the way. I believe I owe you
some money, don't u"
Just a minute" answered the pro-
prietor, turning to a slate on the wall.
Reversing it, he carefully scanned the
marks thereon. you owe me for a
cheese he finally said
"a cheese?" repeated the customer.
why, haven't bought a cheese off you
for months. There must be some mis-
take"
The storekeeper gave a second glance
at the reverse side of the slate.
That's So" he exclaimed with a
smile. 1T was a grindstone. I didn't
see the dot over the Il in the middle
Harpers Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
QUAKER REFLECTIoNs.

[From the Philadelphia Record
Money talks-lectures on finance.
A bird in the hand is worth 81, or
more on a bonnet.
The weather seems to disagree most
with the weather Iorecaster.
One sure place to find good greeding-
on a model stock farm.
A bartender doesn't have to be a ma
rine artist to draw a schooner
Grounds for divorce-when your wife
won't keep them out of your coffee.
We speak of fortune as woman. She
must be the married one, for we all
know Misfortune.
L don't see how you got dyspepsia at
that French restaurant hear the
cooking there is splendid Maybe it
is. but the only dishes whose names I'm
able to pronounce seem to be indigesti-
BILE"
Mary" he said to the elderly heir
ess he had married. you promised to
crafty my every wish Yes. dear"
she replied, but have you any wish
that has not been gratihed2" Yes,
wish to be single again"
II We would be perfect,
Dear sisters and brothers.
just follow the counsel
Ye give unto others.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
Dog Threw Kisses to Women.

There is a very polite French poodle
dog awaiting its owner at the West
Forty-seventh street police station. The
dog appeared in front of the Hotel As
tor shortly after o'clock and startled
two ladies alighting from a carriage
when it stood on its hind legs and
threw kisses at them.
This was too much for Policeman Jim
McKeown, who stood near by. The cop
roared at the masher:
"That'H do yez. G'wan out O. here .
Seeing the arm of the law approach
ing, the dog raised its right paw to its
head in salute, whe,~upon, lest it
should prove to be a member of the
force, the policeman became polite and
invited it to go and see the captain
New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
JOURNAL ENTRIES

There are said to be thirty-seven
ways OF cooking steak says the
Atchison Globe, land every woman
seems to know all but thirty-six of
them" That is erroneous. Some
women know all but thirty-seven of
them.
It must be that barber shops are
scarce IN jackson, Miss, where Cover
nor Vardaman lives.
Tt is suspected that those individuals
who have succeeded in staying on the
water wagon are not as crowded for
room as they were on Monday.
There is one resolution that a good
many people are still keeping. That is
the one not to ride on free railroad
passes.
We judge after a perusal of the
news columns that Emile Grigsby is
now receiving the line of advertising
that used to belong exclusively to Nan
Patterson.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
No stomach to Spare.

Patients who come to hospital elm
les are in deadly fear of being operated
upon" remarked a Roosevelt hospital
inferno. They are under the impress
sion that the doctors stand with the
knife poised ready to plunge it into them
at random and on the slightest excuse.
"A man, whose complaint was some
form of Indigestion, had been shown
by one of the doctors how to relieve his
trouble by massaging or kneading the
afflicted region. This he promised to do
night and morning.
'sWen, do you knead your stomach ?"
asked the physician when the patient
appeared at the clinic a week later.
Sure I need my stomach the man
said quickly, as he placed both hands
over the threatened organ and backed
toward the door, land I'm not going to
let you cut it out, either. New York
Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05

the poor old good-for-nofhing trampi"
The bent shoulders Strengthened, he
sprang niunbIy uD the steps seized Mrs.
Spencer and kissed her soundly in spite
of her shocked resistance. then grasped
Johns hand. you didn't let me finish
about coming back, Harriet got over
being a failure. I went up to the Elon-
dixie and caught up with the luck I'd
always been chasing, and-and Johnny.
boy, you can buy out the whole little
town If you want to-and Mrs. Spencer,
ma am, let's begin over again with the
wedding trip we missed the first time
(Copyright, 1906, by P G. I1astmentl
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
JAYHA WKER J0TS

The thin ice claimed a victim at
Junction CITY a few days ago. Ralph
Morris fell through while skating.
Advertisement from the Burlington
Jeffersonian: THE champion long en-
durance piano player of the world,
who plays 261k consecutive hours
without stopping to eat or sleep, will
play in Puffer Sisters window during
their great clearance sale, January
and g."
The Oskaloosa Times says: THE
payment of a 55 per cent. dividend to
the depositors of the Devlin bank GER
tainly was welcome Christmas news
to our old Jefferson county friend.
Jap. Queen. who had deposited $500
in the bank the day it closed He
may never get all of the balance
w J. Barker and Bell Barger. both
of Hamburger. Ia, were married by
the probate judge of Franklin county
a few days ago. This was the second
time for them. After trying married
life together once they had been di-
vorced but had afterwards concluded
to try it again. So they came to Kan
sas bought a new farm, and started
anew as bride and groom. How much
is the fee?" asked the bride, with
woman's curiosity, when the ceremony
was concluded. Five dollars replied
the probate judge. THAT is more than
it cost the first time, isn't t." she
asked. looking toward the groom with
a smile.
Abilene Reflector: E. T. Ellison re-
ceived today a sweet potato from
Pagan island. South sea Islands,
which he will plant next spring,
hoping to find in it a plant that viii
revolutfonize the sweet potato in
dustry. The sweet potato land west
of town raises immense crops, but it
is difficult to keep the potatoes from
rotting and a large portion is lost in
that way. A sea captain brought from
the South Sea islands a few Of these
potatoes which are said to remain
firm and hard for months. The Uni
versity of California win experiment
them for Kansas. If they produce a
hardy potato the sand hill land will
net the sweet potato men 500 an acre
annually.
Philip Eastman wrote this New
Isaac Walton of Kansas, as we'll as
the eccentric editor of Ell Dorado:
Thomas Benton Murdoch,
Here's hoping and good cheer
And wishes for a pleasant
And a joyous happy year.
May your bait be ever lucky,
And your choice of pools the best,
And your angling reputation
The foremost in the West.
And may you keep on writing,
In your own peculiar way,
OF the cOmings and the goings
OF the people down your way.
May you write the final notice
OF the last surviving squat
Before your hand is shaky
And your pen begins to blot"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
Both Needed Trimminc.

An old lady of his flock once called
upon DR.. Gill with a grievance The
doctors neckbands were too long for
her ideas of ministerial humility, and
after a long harangue on the sin of
pride she intimated that she had
brought a pair of SCISSORS with her and
would be pleased if her dear pastor
would permit her to cut them down to
her notions of prOpriety.
The doctor not only listened patiently,
but handed over the offending white
bands to be operated upon. When she
had cut them to her satisfaction and
returned the bibs it was the doctors
turn.
Nov" he said. you must do me a
good turn also
Eyes. That will doctor. What can
it be?''
wen, you have something about you
which is a deal too long and which
causes me no end of trouble, and 1
should like OF see it shorter
Indeed. dear sir, / will not hesitate.
What is it? Here are the scissors; use
them as you please
Come. then" said the sturdy di-
vine; good sister put out your
tongue. New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05

Roosevelt, and the state ticket was
nominated at the same time-earlv in
March. Had the nominations been post
poned until September at least one of
the candidates, and possibly others,
would never have been nominated and
Kansas would have been spared having
certain officials forced on her for a sec
ond term.
This is the strongest kind of an ar
gument in favor of q late convention.
The people viii find out just as much
about the various candidates before the
convention as they would afterwards
unless the nomination should happen to
go to dark horse-and if it is found
out that a candidate is a bad man he
is much more likely to be defeated in
the convention than at the polls.
One Of the things to be considered is
getting out a full representation at the
primaries. There are certain seasons
more favorable for this than others.
During March the farmers usually have
time for such things. but that, Of
course, is far too early in an off year.
theoretically there is also a few days
time about the first of May. between
corn planting and corn blowing, but of
late years the weather has made these
two season overlap. There is usually
a lull, however, about the middle of
June, just before harvest begins. The
farmer also has considerable time in
August, but at that season a great
many people are out of the state.
This discussion presents the subject
from nearly every angle. Every man
will probably have his own ideas as to
the best time for holding the conven-
ton.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
A POPULIsT JIBE.

A few years ago there was considera-
BILE rot in the subsidized press about the
disgrace" that had been heaped upon
Kansas by the Pops" All manner of
fun was poked at PETERS whiskers-but
he was never sent to Jail. The country
had d great deal of fur over "Sockless
Jerry, but he was never accused of
working for any get-rich-quick concern
No Pop" state office ever involved
the state in such a scandal as has been
hanging over the state treasury for the
last three years. The Pop state seere-
tary never loaded the state school fund
up with batch of worthless bonds.
Honest, now, how amucE has the repu-
tatfon of Kansas been improved by the
crowd which redeemed it from Popu-
ism 2''-AIankato Advocate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
FROM OTHER PENS
DIsRAELI AND THE DUKES.

Another Disraelian Renaissance &C
ours. After a banquet. at which a line
of particularly illustrious nobodies pre-
coded the premier from the dining room,
he took the arm of his neighbor and
pointing to the backs of the retreating
dukes and marquises, said drily: Next
week shall be making some of those" -
London Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05

that Solomon was in favor of advertis-
ing. But the esteemed Journal must
admit that Solomon must have wanted
his own name kept out Of the papers on
several occasions" That may be true
Come to think of it, very few of Solo
mons three hundred weddings were
written up for the Jerusalem papers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
The Ocean Family.

In school one day the teacher was hav-
ing the geography class up front for
recitation. On the wall was a map to
which the teacher was pointing and
asking questions Pointing to the An
arctic ocean, she asked one little boy
what it was and he answered, "Antarc-
tic ocean" Pointing to the Arctic ocean
she asked another little boy what that
was. He thought a little while and then
said: Il don't know, teacher, unless
it's the Uncle Arctic ocean. New York
World. $4,000.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05

Ihe state Journal is a member of the
A5soelated Press and receives the full day
telesraph report Of that great news or
sanl1atlon for exclusive evening publ
The State Journal receives for exclusive
2up4cation the leased wire report of the
publishers Press for the edition for Sun
oay morning
The news is received in the State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
CALL a GRAND JURY.

Another case of bribery has just come
to light in Kansas. Editor Smith of
the Burlington Republican owns up
that he received from some Standard Oil
emissaries a dozen wax candles, and he
feels so good over it that he says if he
were in Cleveland he would join John
DIS Sunday school class. One by one
the roses fallI-Oskaloosa Independent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
AUTo Ga TIE GODs.

There are motor cars in the celestial
regions? Prof, Schaer of Geneva has
discovered what he describes as a new
comet plunging due south at a rate of
almost eight degrees a day, and career
ing across the milky way regardless of
all other traffic.-Punch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
MAY BE A COLLISION.

If some of those railroad rate bills try
to pass on the same track there is going
to be some exciting times in congress.
The presidents bill should be given the
right of way on clear Thanksgiving
Hill New Era.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
EVERY CHILD A REASON.

There are 100000 school children in
this country, which fact furnishes 16,
OOO, 600 reasons why the system of edu-
cation should be the best and most
practical which the resources of the age
and of the nation can afford.-Balti-
more American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05

If one of those ships that are tow
ing the dry dock Dewey becomes dis
abied it could just climb up into the
dock and repair itself.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05

The Russian revolutionists intimate
that they will not be responsible for
the Cars safety if he remains longer
in Russia. Very likely the car will
not trust the responsibility 10 them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05

John d. Rockefeller advises people
TO live within their incomes. Here is
one piece of advice that Mr. Rookie
Teller finds it Just as easy to practice
as to preach, and most of the rest of
us could DO the same if we had his
income
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05

1t seems that conditions in Russia
became so bad the correspondents
could not make them any worse, so
they allowed them to get better.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05

If it is true that the car has allowed
himself to be turned against NJ. Witte
by the grand dukes, he may have more
trouble than ever on his hands.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05

ing just a pleasant little snow storm.
New Mexico has been i'm the grasp of
q blizzard that has tied up trains and
wrought all sorts of havoc. Who says
the weather man isn't treating Us de-
Gently this winter?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05

The New York life insurance inves-
ugation is over. What will be the next
entertainment that win add to the
gayety Of nations2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-05
sHE "a OFrEN FICKIE

The case of President w. E. Corey
of the United States Steel corporation,
strikingly illustrates the folly of ac-
cepting fortunes smiles. as a guarantee
of appiness.-Portland (Me.) Adver-
tisef.