davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06
HUMoR as an AID 10 SUCCESS.

am strongly of the opinion that
quick and abiding sense of humor is
a great element of success IN every
department of life. ] do not speak
merely of success in the more strictly
artistic fields of human work, but am
ready to maintain that, even in the
prosaic and practical concerns of hui
man existence, the sense OF humor
is an inciting and sustaining influence
to carry a man successfully through
to the full development of his capac-
ity and the attainment of his purpose.
It is so in the business of stateman-
ship. Mortal life, at the best, is SO
full of perplexities, disappointments
and reverses that it must be hard
work indeed for man who is endow-
ed with little or no sense of humor to
keep his spirits up through seasons OF
difficulty and depression and main
tain his energy,-liying. despite the
disheartening effect of commonplace
and prosaic discouragements. A man
who is easily dishearteued does not ap-
pear to be destined by nature for the
overcoming of difficulties, and moth
ing is a happier incentive to the main
tenance of good animal spirits than
quick sense of humor which finds
something to make jest of even in
conditions which bring but sinking
of the heart to the less fortunately
endowed mortal.
In the stories of great events and
great enterprises we are constantly
told of some heaven born leader who
kept alive through the most trying
hours of what might have been
enfeebling depression, the energies,
the courage and the hope of his COM
rades and his followers. One can
hardly read of any escape from
shipwreck, any drifting about in an
open boat over wintry seas, without
learning of some plucky and humor-
Gus mortal who kept his comrades
alive and alert through all dangers
and troubles by his ready humor and
animal spirits. Read any account OF
long protracted siege, when the be-
seiged had to resist assault from with
out and hunger within, and you will
be sure to be told how the humorous
sallies of some leader were able to
prevent those around him from sink
ing into the depths of despair. There
are times when no good whatever is
done by taking even most serious
things too seriously, and sudden
flash of humor often lightens up the
atmosphere as the blast of q trumpet
might give new spirits and new ener-
gy amid the deepening gloom of some
almost desperate day.
No matter how deformed your body
may be, it is possible for you to throw
such a wealth of character-of love,
of sweetness, oflight, Into your face
that all doors will fly open to you and
you will be welcomed everywhere
without introduction. A beautiful,
sweet heart, the superb personality
-of the soul, belongs to everybody.
We all feel that We, ale personally
related to one of these, shQugh we
have never been introduced to nims
The coldest hearts are warmed, and
the stubbornest natures yield, under
the charm of beautiful soul. =. Justin
MlCartlhy, in Snccess.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06
L1REs LITTLE MYsrER1Es.


Life is full of little inexplicable
mysteries. They occur every day,
and are passed by as being merely
ordinary. Whenever the conversa-
ton turns on teiepathy or the occult
sciences there is always someone
with a story of the mysterious to tell.
About 10 years ago, on large
open tract Of land in the north of
London (now fortunately covered
with red brick Villas, number of
boys were playing cricket. Suddenly
there came a loud humming noise,
like the combined droning of thous-
and of bees, and great stone larger
than a mans fist whizzed across the
center of the patch and embedded
itself in the bank. Almost immedi-
ately it was followed by another, and
then third
Although they waited in hiding for
some time. there was no repetition of
eaystefious Isl SCI 4 & U tiS9n
then arose, Where could they have
come from? The nearest house was
quite 400 yards away, and machine
to have sent large stones whirling
at such frightful pace over this dis
tance would be rather an extraordi-
nary article of furniture for suburb
an villa. So the cause of this re-
markable occurrence yet requires ex-
PLANTATION.
In the same district, a few years
back, four young men were seated in
a room playing whist. Suddenly,
just after midnight, the door, which
had been latched, opeued slowly until
it had reached its fullest limit.
In surprise the players looked up,
but no one was standing in the door
way. Then, ere one of them could
move, the door slowly closed itself
again. Immediately one Of the young
men jumped up, pulled the door open
and started up and down the hall,
but there was absolute silence and no
one about.
Some years ago gentleman was
seated at table busily writing. At
the moment he was alone in the house.
Suddenly he heard the patter of feet
outside the door and then the sound
of dog barking. Going outside the
room he saw, to his surprise, that his
dog had found its way from the gar
den into the house and for some rea-
son was violently barking.
Crash The room behind him was
suddenly in darkness and smell of
escaping gas prevailed the air. Di-
rectly he understood what occurred
and hurried to seal up the broken
pipe of the chandelier. The latter
was lying in thousand pieces on the
floor.
But for the mysterious instinct that
caused the dog to enter tbe'house and
attract this gentleman 2 attention ne
would probably have been killed by
the falling chandelier, for he had been
sitting directly beneath it.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06
SCHOOL has BEGUE.

They cut the pants of brother Jim
To fit the legs Of little Tim.
All. me twas years ago when Bill
And would chase and race and run
To reach the echo0lhouse meath the hill
To pick out seats ere school begun.
Poor little Tim he had to. pose
Upon the low front seat; his toes
Were then two inches from the hoor.
His brother Jim and Bill and
Picked out our seats behind the door
For reasons that were smooth and sly.
see her yet. prim, sedate.
Staid parsonage. who sat in state
Upon the little platform where
She ruled with ruler. and with grim
Determination she would stare
Into the eyes of little Tim.
Poor little Tim he seemed to grow
In wisdom on the front seat row;
But as big fellows by the door.
Were satisfied to peg away
And learn a little or no more
Than just enough to keep from play.
Upon the farm is brother Jim
He wears the CASTOR pants of Tim.
Bill runs rural barter store,
Yours truly's on salry small
The chap who couldn't reach the door
Will run for county judge this fall.
-HOTQce iSeU070ur Keller.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06
STRATEGY OF SEA EAGLE.

In the summer the principal food
of the white tailed sea eagle is salmon,
varied by sea birds common along tl.s.
inlets of Greenland. In autumn,
when the salmon have ascended to
the lakes, the birds resort to the sea.
They appear to have a special fond
ness for elder duck, which are taken
by strategy. Stationed near tie
water in commanding position, with
a background of cliff the color of
which assimilates with that of the
eagles plumage, he sits motionless
until flock of ducks settles near him.
After a time one or two dive in search
of food, but not until all have gone
under together does the eagle make
a sign. He then glides swiftly to the
spot and circles over it close to tie
water. With his sharp eye he can
detect the birds before they reach the
surface. At first he is not usually
successful, for as soon as they become
aware of the presence of the enemy
they dive again instantly, but in time
they are obliged to come up for air,
and then one OF them becomes an
easy victim. A full-grown elder
drake is easily lifted up and borne
away in the talons of this powerful
pirate.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06
NaAGED.
BLANK verse in forty.seven spasms.)
By BLANCHE GOODMAN.

By BLANCHE GOODMAN.
Whoop! Hoorayl
I'm the man that's engaged to be
married
That's what !
And I'm so full of bliss
That I don't know
Whether this earth
Is right side up or not.
Talk about your sizzling happiness
And bubbling joy
Well That's slow
Compared with what | feel
Why, I'm SO full
Of the intoxication of love
And all that sort Of thing you know,
That I can hardly tell
Where / am at.
Whoop! Look out
I'm going to shout
Until the blue vauited donIe 0i
heaven
Sends back the echo,
'I'm in love |! !"
Fact is
/ never was SO hard hit
In all my life.
Oh, Gee if I could only
Vent my Joy in wild halloos
Or take the earth
And throw it DER the moon,
And use the stars for footballs,
Just because girl
Has put me in whirl
By saying Eyes"
Wow Clear the way!
Here comes another one
I'll have to get this mad JOY
Out of my constitution
Some way or other,
So I might as well
Yell!
If all the sky were paper
And all the rivers flowing ink,
I'd use tall thin mountain
Peak as fountain
Pen,
And then
Such letter
AS would write to her,
Ye Gods
Can't sleep at night.
Can't eat.
All can do
Is walk the floor
And smoke cigars
Until her next letter comes.
I'll bet
My landlady is in fret,
And wishes me in-well,
I'm going in the other direction
So fast,
That when get to Paradise
l won't be able to stop!
l can almost hear
The angels practicing the wedding
march,
Tum tum ii tum
Oh, Bliss
I'll have to give another "Tige
Sis
Boom Hn again!
Whoop Hooray Rah Rah
-Bx0ndUav M1p1gine
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06
BAD MANNERS.

1hzFWhole secret OF good mannels
is 1.-THE heart. Politeness is not to
M learned from the study of books
of etiquette, because there are always
circumstances that the books do not
cover and that must be met by indi-
vidual Judgment, common sense and
kindIiness. A good many persons,
however, need instruction in the in
fusion of good taste into their good
intentions. The following practical
hints, by Mrs. Caroline Harris Lee,
are not taken up with the number of
forks or the number of cards, but
with the more essential things that
natural kindness of heart ought to
teach, but which, in too many evil
dent cases, it doesn't:
It is bad manners to ask too many
questions. Among intimates GER
tain amount of interlocutory conver-
sation is expected and desired. A
lack of friendly questioning would be
thought to indicate a lack of interest;
but among mere acquaintances, 1t
passes bad manners when they ask
direct questions-it is insoience.
Why, a woman that / had not seen
in two or more years asked me in the
street if would mind telling her what
my income was. After l had caught
my breath, I was still SO stunned
that could think of nothing to tell
her but the truth. So she walked of
with that much information about me
to which she had no right, and / went
my way, vowing to dodge her for
ever and ever That woman has a
good heart, she has education, she is
not selfish, she has mingled with re
fined women, but she is so blunt and
brusque that most of the time she has
il all to herself. En-.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06

PUTTING up sign "Post no bills"
won't keepthem from coming through
the mails.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06

THE MAN who prepares for death
wastes his time; the man who pre-
pares to live is wise indeed.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06

THE choir may sing peace on
earth," but that doesn't make peace
in the choir.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06

THE fellow who does the most talk
ing about love in a cottage is the first
to kick about cottage pudding.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06

ORAToRY is merely talk with a
frock coat on.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06

Our lives make the sweetest music
when we are living at our best.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06

OBsTINAcY AND vehemency in
opinion are surest proofs of stupidity.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06

THEY ARE telling story Of an old
,man who fell i'll and called in doc
tor. After a while, as he grew no
better, they fetched him another med
icine man. This physician, after
some preliminaries, inquired: did
your other doctor take your tsr1peras
ture?' IT dunno, boss, - d the
invalid; "I amt missed nothin' but
my watch"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-01-06

BOOm An aBdlu
Whoop F! Hooray! Rah Rah
-Broodway Magasine
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1906-08-18

Couches all grades and prices found
at WhittingtOn's.
Where can you buy Hammocks al
Cost? Empey Brothers.
Mrs. II. w. Dicken was a Petoskes
visitor first OF the week.
Miss Florence Rayder of Grand Rap
ids is here guest of friends.
See Slower the Eye Specialist at the
Lakeside next Monday and Tuesday.
Mrs. Charles Anderson Of East Jor-
dan visited Bellaire friends, Tuesday
Ernest o. Coy leaves next week for
Detroit where he expects to fill a posi-
tion as bookkeeper.-Alden Wave.
Joe Maddox leaves next week to re-
sumo his duties as atheletic director
Of the University Of Utah,
The barn OF James Bashaw was
burned last Saturday together with
nine tons OF hay and aquantity Of farm
tools. The loss is quite heavy.
The D. &C. R'y and Str. Hum run
a joint excursion Sunday from Fred
rick to Charlevoix and Petoskey.
The Hum leaves East Jordan at $40 a.
M, returning leaves Charlevoix at 7:l5
Fare to CharlevoiX and Petoskey from
here, so and Is cents.
Try San Mario and also fresh line
of j. M. Baur's celebrated Coffee's at
Bowen & Kenny's.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1906-08-18

Richard Byers back from Big Rap
ids.
VIM. BLOW has gone to Aekley, Wis.
to work.
Go t. Malpass Hardware for your
Separator Oil.
Mrs. j. M. Dekraker Of Grand Rap
ids is visiting at f. j. Cheeseman's
Miss Grace Osborne of Petoskey is
guest of her aunt. Mrs. ID. G. Loveday
Mrs. ]. A. Mckee and children
leave Saturday for weeks vacation
at Bay View.
Mrs. Junia Pfender and daughter
Eloise are here from Brown City guest
of Mrs Wm. Johnson.
Mrs Fred Severson of Fredonia, Kan
sas,is here guest Of her parents, Mr..
and Mrs. j. G. Glenn.
Mrs. Charles Lewandowsky enter
tanned her brother, James New son and
wife of Charlevoix first of the week.
Rev. Stark B. Reagan of Macklnaw
will occupy the Methodist Episcopal
pulpit next Sabbath morning and
evening.
Mrs. Strauss OF Cincinnati. an aged
guest at the Inn, (Charlsvoix) was
literally boileb 20 death In bath tub
Friday night. She had turned on the
water after getting into the tub and
was taken with fainting spell The
faucet she turned was that furnishing
hot water and when she was diseov-
cred she was literally cooked. She
died the next morning.
Mrs Gustaf Polesen Of IrontOn left
hersix year old girl and two year old
boy at home Friday, while she went
out for the day. The girl started a
fire in the stove and some clothing
near the pipe up stairs caught fire
and started conflagration. The
children knew nothing of the fire until
neighbors rushed In, aud took them
from the house. the building was
badly da mayed
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1906-08-18

Mrs John Hertel Of Memphis Tenn.
and Miss Luella Boosinger of Lansing
who have been here guest of relatives
left Tuesday for Lansing.
The M. K. Ladies Aid social at the
church Friday evening was well
attended. Ice cream and cake were
served, followed by program. The
Band favored with two selections.
Vocal trio. Mesdames Hare and Bush
and Miss Robertson. Recitation. Mrs.
W.. Smith. Vocal solo, Miss Blanche
Robertson. Miss Louisa Loveday
gave readings. A ladies' Quartette
Misses Robertson and Hite, Mesdames
Bush and Haire sang LEAD Kindly
Light" Mrs. A. j. Suffern presided
at the organ.
Since the publication Of the article
last week of M. VI. Burnham's s, calling
the farmers attention To Poison CAR.
ROT which he found in his meadow, a
number Of farmers have discovered
that they are likewise cursed with the
weed. MIR. Burnham was over "a
Boyno City, Monday. and a farmer
near there stopped him on the street
and Informed him that he saw the art
icle in The Herald and that he also
had the pest. it being mixed with the
seed which he had purchased at Boyne
City. Farmers desiring to see sam
pie OF this weed can do 20 by calling
at this Office. The plant is biennial
and is not particularly noticeable the
first year.
The Monthly Missionary Society
met at the Presbyterian church par
lors Friday the 10TH Mrs. James
Malpass was hostess and the commit
tee on program were Mrs. Frank
Greenwood and Mrs, j. A, Mckee.
Subject for consideration-"Pr
Day Immigration, and "Chinese and
japanese in the II. g." These were
discussed In readings by Mesdames
Lorraine and Clark Haire and Miss
Mabel Malpass. Music rendered was
vocal solo, Miss Agnes Porter accom-
panied by Miss Mary Porter; Emily
Malpass violin; Marion Malpass,
organ, playe medley. Refresh
ments were served.
Where are you going my pretty maid,
I'm going to Movers Sir, she said.
Can't ! do your painting my pretty
maid.
Not on your tin-type Sir she said
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1906-08-18

Majestic Steel Ranges excel al
others.
At Costa Few Trunks and Suit
Cases .-Stroebel Bros.
Bread and very large var iety OF
cookies kept on haHd.
--E. A. Lewis
For dry. cracked lips, or rough skin,
use DR.. Shops Green Salve. 1t pos
itlvely makes lips and skin like velvet.
Sold by Warne's Pharmacy.
Have you weakness Of any kind
stomach, back, or any part OF the bodyS
Don't dope yourself with ordinary
medicine. HOLSTERS Rocky Noun
tain Tea is the supreme curative
power. 80 cents, Tea or Tablets at
Warne's Pharmacy.
Get 5 cent box OF Lax-ets at our
store please. We think they are great
Just test these toothsome, candy-like
Laxative Tablets for constipation, sour
stomach. biliousness, bad breath, mud
DIV complexion, etc. Risk cents and
see.
-Warnes Pharmacy.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1906-08-18

There is no concern north of Crane
| Rapids that carrier the stock OF Fur
niture that Empey Brothers carries
| They have mammoth stock. In
spect il. 1t is the only place to buy
Misses Margaret Kenny, Nellie No
Naly and Harriet McDOugall return
ed TO their home in Chicago first Of
the week. They were accompanies
by Vera Brinknan vino enters schoo
there.
Mrs. f. G.. Plank entertained with q
Thimble Party Thursday afternoon,
Aug. 10th. In honor of her sisters, the
Misses Salisburys OF New York City
Refreshments were served. The out
Of town guests were Mrs. ]. M. De
kraker of Grand Rapids and Miss
Grace Osborne of Petoskey.
Miss Jennie McFarlane is about to
embark in the millinery business in
East Jordan, locating her parlors In
the old Heston home on Second st.
She left Friday for Detroit and Grand
Rapids to select Fall and Winter
Stock and will have an opening about
the riddle OF September.
Mesdames j. L. Weisman and E. r.
Price gave farewell party in honor Ct
MIS-. Charles Lewando% sky who goes
to Bear Lake to reside. Twenty five
Ladies met at Mrs. Weisman's Tues
day evening. An impromptu program
was given, refreshments served, and
the honored guest presented with set
of orange spoons from her friends.
A good assortment of fruit and veg.
etables for Saturday.
e. A. Lewis.
The public from time to time have
been imposed upon by various so
called tramp" plays, but the only
original aud reputable drama Of this
character is Elmer Walters "a Mil
lionaire Tramp" which comes TO
Loveday Opera House this Saturday
night, While OF hers have taken his
cue and tried to follow his example,
he still has maintained his high
standard of excellence with this at
traction, and the commendahle press
notices and public approval warrant
the assertion that "a Millionaire
Tramp" is the best drama portra, ing
the American vaeabond.
Kitchen Cabinets best on the mar
ket. Wilmington has them.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1906-08-18
-Warne's Pharmacy.
/. STATE OF OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDO,
! LUCAS COUNTY 3D.

STATE OF OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDO, -.
LUCAS COUNTY. 90
Frank j. Cheney makes oath that he is
senior partner OF the firm OF +. J. Cheney g.
Co.. doing business in the City of Toledo
County and State aforesaid. and that said
firm will pay the sum OF ONE HUNDRED
DOLLARS for each and every case of Catarrh
that cannot be cured by the use of Halls
Catarrh Cure. FRANK j. CHENEY,
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presence. this 9th day OF December A. d. 1856.
fsrAYl A. w. GLEASON.
NOTARY PUBLIC.
II lis Catarrh Cure is taken internally, and
acts directly on the blood and mucous SUR
aces of the system. Send for testimonials
free.
+. j. CHENEY e. CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by all Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1906-08-18

Gasoline and Oil Stoves at a Bar
gain.-Stroebel Bros.
Miss Edith Ramsey is the new relief
girl on telephone central
Atty E. N. Clink and Roy Sherman
were Boyne Falls visitors, Friday.
rand Mrs. G. C.Mack are entertain
Ing Miss Lila Sandal OF Au Sable.
Harold Kenyon is here from Detroit
to spend the summer with his father
r. A.
Empey Brothers offer their entire
stock Of Baby Cabs and Go Carts at
Cost.
Miss Madge Nicholas Is entertain
ing her friends, Misses Osgood> and
Shanney.
Miss Ethel McRae has been quite III
the past week, at the home OF her Sis
ter, Mrs John BoosiDger.
Misses Emma and Clara Scheffels
left this week for Grand Rapids where
they enter Catholic school,
Mrs. II. r. Roy and daughter Mrs.
<. Gillett, who have been guests OF
Sturgis friends, returned home this
Friday evening.
WANTED:-One Hundred head of
Young Stock TO PASTURE. Good feed.
Good water. No. fences, Almost at
your own price.-MAx SCHEFFLEs.
The Northern Michigan Beekeeper'S
Assn will hold their annual picnic at
PetOskey fore part of September. Ira
ID. Bartlett of this city Is secretary OF
the organization.
A camping party consisting of
Misses Nina Hite, Pearl Croweil,
Lydia Cook, Myrtle Howard, Gladys
Kenny and Ethel Crowell pitched
tents at Tooley's Landing, Thursday
and will camp there about fortnight.
Sandy Dean went trout fishing Sun.
day. Now Mr.. Dean is not a profess
si0nal fisherman which probably ex-
plains why he brought home eight
beauties, tho largest weighing three
pounds.
w. p. Squler was elected vice pres
ident of Charlevoix County at the big
Maccabee Northern Michigan meeting
held at Cadillac last Friday. The
next annual meeting will be held at
Charlevoix.
DR.. j. w. Slower. the eye specialist
of Grand Rapids, is to to be In East
Jordan next Monday and Tuesday at
the Lakeside. The publisher OF The
Herald has known DR.. Sto yer for a
number of years and can recommend
him to those having defective eyesight
His prices are most reasonable.
In reference 90 "a Warning to Far
mers" printed in last weeks issue we
wish to state that said cluyer seed was
not bought from us and we never sell
such quality Of seeds. Our practice is
the same as that Of our professors, w.
A. Loveday s. Co. to buy only the very
choicest seeds the market offers. Our
friends aud patrons may rest assured
that we will follow this practice I'm
the future. -STROEBEL BROS.
Supervisor Jacob Graft and sister,
Mrs. Samuel Pearson have been re-
ceiving a visit from all their brothers
and sisters except one who is at Grand
ID IL -
consisted Of: G.. H. Graft Of Chicago, !
Mrs. Kate Mccall Of Grand Rapids,
Mr.. and Mrs. Chas. Seydell of Grand |
Rapids, Mr.. and Mrs. w. Weese OF
Traverse City, and Mr.. and Mrs. VIM
Lancaster aud family of Kalkaska.