St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-02-02

Portland last week proved to be all
wind.
"Prunes Are Stronger. adv.
The last / had were too weak to
swell up.
"Women's Evening Apparel One
Third OF. adv. - thought it
was all off.
1t was so warm in Chicago last
Saturday that ''the buds swelled." )"
Society budsi "a -.
"A Woman Wadcs In Flamesr
II is to be hoped that she had her
bathing suit on straight.
With seventy deaths to its credit
automobiling is giving feetball an
awful run for its first place.
Now that one of the Sound cities
is having a cleanup the slogan
should be changed to Watch
Tacoma, Wash" :"
Those famous twins, Jeremiah
and Thomas, are expected TO take
up residence here in st. Johns some
time during next week.
Socialists now refuse to fuse in
politics-and IL is feared that this
refusal to diffuse information
through fusing may cause confu-
sion.
Jerome, LOOMS and tSam Jones
entertained audiences in Portland
Saturday night. All were interest.
ing-Jones having cut out all his
nasty expressions
"A young Russian was killed at q
feast because he refused TO toast
toast the car. They kill 'em over
there no matter what they door
lon't do-to the car Ss..: ss..s: -. -.
When special preachers address
the Only" class why do they
never speak to "old Maids onlyp"
Or to Bachelors OnlyH There
are several Of each class.
AT Albany the papers are yelling
Put in hitching posts for the
farmers" Wont the farmers stand
without being ti;ahedl Or do the
papers wish them hitched so they II
no, spend their money!
A busted dago opera troupe in
Mexico has been paying its hotel
bills by singing while the diners
ate. Probably the hotel will adver-
tise its low prices by saying "Our
rates are low merely a song"
Judge Sears sustains the law that
declares no female shall work longer
than ten hours a day IN a laundry. |
This ruling doesn't apply to the
woman who has TO support a strong
robust husband by her work at the
tub.
II is a pity the way they Use a
poor policeman in Portland. Late
At night at night when he is thirsty
or desires biz OF sausage or a
cracker he has to kick down the
saloon door. Aud then they fine
The saloon man
A woman tainted in a meat mar
<et in Portland a few days ago.
Probably she asked for a four-bit
'oast and when the clerk did up a
inc order for her without saving
'Thatn be sixty cents, ma amr
he shock nearly killed her.
In Portland the prisoners in the
'ity Jail visit the matinees at the
lime theatres and have a good time
generally while ''doing time"
That is, OF course, when the
prisoner has the price. There is
rouhle Bruin over these facts.
Wasn't it horriblel Reports OF
he rain in California state that "a
'oliee station was surrounded by
learly five inches OF water and one
'risoner nearly drowned. A
lealthy male man who can drowned
u five inches Of water would be
90 lazy To save.
The minute a girl who serves in
store is called a servant (which
he isl the quicker more girls will
earn to do housework along with
ther cook,ladies. Housework and
ooking are the highest accomplish.
nents any woman can possess-if
hey do il right
The state press association has
'sued pronounced kick against
he use OF the word ''webfoot."
ienceforth no illustrations OF a
rog under an umbrella will be st
llowed-unless the frog has ON
hbber'boots and Is constructed
nth oily feathers like a goose.
No, Rosie, the dog watch and a
a,ch-dog are not one and the same A
ling. On a watch-dag you have
pay license but there no
>ense ON a dog watch. The dog 7
atch has a strong spring, is we'll
weled, and is frequently given to I
ilorS as a premium for saying
thing stronger than "doggone =
II Is rumored that Hill and Har- F"
nan are moi ~ h.,stJ sha .>.>.....