Los Angeles herald., 1906-11-29
SEES THAT BLUE EYED KID
GETS DINNER
Hobo Philanthropist Tells Story Of
Nights Adventure and How De-
sire to Witness Happiness
Is His Undolng

What day is dis? why, you frog
faced booze artist, what day is dis?
Don't you reckernize none of desc
happy an smilin' faces in de drunk
tank here? Don't you see all yer ole
pals what has been here reglar like
since de year one?
What day is dis? Why, dis is de
day when de rah rah boys fergit dat
dere ever wuz an Adam and Eve, and
1es tink dat dis funny oil worl was
made fer dem to scare to det wit dere
holler'n. What day is dis? Why, you
animated candidate fer er snake farm,
dis is T'anksgivin' an you're in de
drunk tank waitin' fer yer fond parent
to come down an bail yer out in time
fer de big toikey feed.
How did yer git here? Now, how in
der name of de great jumpin' iassax
am l serposed ter know how yer got
here? ] got here about five minutes be-
fore yer smllin' countenance loomed up
troo de door dere like a lighthouse in
er fog, and yer came in all in er bunch
wild de turkeys hoof under de base
ment of yer Brauer e. Krohn's.
Yer lit on yer sneezer and den when
was snoozin' off to der Ian of de
happy dreams why l hears yer sing
in sumptin' erbout er stein on er
table and den Sleepy Hawkins over der
stuffed his sock in yer mout. He
couldn't stan de sound of yer high C.
How did L git in here? Say, kid,
when yer wuz born yer muster had a
coughin' spell and doubled up like er
question mark. Yer face looks like yer
didn't wnow nuthin' and yer mout ad-
vertises der fac.
But I'll tell yer how I got in just der
same, fer dis year 1 got in fer true and
rot JUS fer de sake of gittin' de jail
dinner. OATS de reason all desc grub
artists is hangin' close to de iron por-
tiers over dere watchin' de villerge
hlacksmt hammer de T'anksgivin' feed
inter shape back dere in de hash
foundry. OATS why wese alters in
here on dis day, but gets in different
like dis time and ] kinder guess I'll stay
in fer a few monts.
Say, l wuz standin' in frunt of de
soak foundry at Simp an Main las
night ponderin' on der fac dat it wuz
nearly o'clock an about time fer me
to hunt my little eiderdown mattress
at der Lankshim when erlong comes a
gent wit one of dose leanin' jags. You
know, dose kind where yer takes eight
steps den hangs to der telergraf pole
an walks Ground it four er five times
to try and git on der udder side. Well,
dat wuz dis kim ov er jag. Say, de
bloke looks like he don't have too much
Nv der dreamy cush and his cloes wuz
beginnin' to git John d. Rockerfeller
about de heels, sorter short NV de hair
dat orter be, dere. But he has er grim
ner, one of dose little white boys stuck
on der secon' finger Nv his init, an he
wuz goin' fer de hook dump for fair.
Say, dat ring IVES a purity little feller,
one of dose kinds dat er feller gives ter
his girl when dey clinches de reserved
seat ter de main event.
Well, dis gent wild de leaner on comes
lopin' up der boulevard as graceful like
as me ole pal Doc Houghton ulster look
wien he did de toikey trot fer de spook-
erinos.
He sorter sidles up ter de door and
den he falls troo and straight inter der
clutches NV der "begat Jethsulesum'
who wuz waitin' dere wit his mout
waterin' fer de sucker.
Well, dat little ring sorter winked
piterful like at me troo der winder as
he pulls it off'n his nit and slips der
winker to der shylocker. Den de
ornery one talks wild his hooks fer
awhile, cusses der ring fer bein' bum
stone and den digs up der fifteen ser.
moliums and cries like he is bein
cheeted.
Den out comes de guy wild de leanef
and his pockerts filled wild de smilin'
an modern representatives of de trade
system. An as fer me blows inter de
happy glass foundry and looks at der
Jew. Say, he gifts kinder skart, fer he