The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-05-18

u MI. bOWseT. as lie Spring "
bis feet with such q jar that the cook
In the kitchen peeling potatoes for
breakfast slid out of her chair In
ala rm.
II mean that it is pronounced Kee-
hoty.r
What. What. You mean that you
are right and ! am wrongT'
Exactly. / was also right about
Hudibraw."
Mr.. Bowser turned red and then
plum color. and he held his mouth open
as If ii was hard work 10 get his
breath. Mrs. Bowser rather meanly
took advantage Of his helpless situation
10 continue:
"Ouida is a French name. and the
pronunciation Of il is Weedy and not
Ow0y. Try 10 remember that. Mr..
Bowser. If you should call il Owdy
at a church festival, for instance. I
don't know what effect it might not
have on the ice cream"
Woman. what Is this" he managed
to exclaim at last, as he tried to fix
her with u baleful eye.
fOF HIS own GOOD.
II am giving you a few lessons in
pronunciation, dear. Never in your
life when you are out in company
speak of any n as blaze. It's blas-ay
u nothing else. If you called it the
other way they'd be looking for hay
seed in your hair"
And this to me-to Bowser-to the
Bowser" he hoarsely whispered as he
looked around for the cat. Woman,
have you lost your senses entirely? Is
1t possible that you have been drinking
TOO much claret? Has that mother Of
yours arrived and told you to look
upon me as a jackass? Speak, woman
-speakv'
And apropos is pronounced apropo,"
she said, with a smile. Try to re-
member this when we go to the
Greens. They are people of education,
and if you should add on the 'poss'
she'd tell it all over the neighborhood
as a good joke. And don't fool with
mass-a-ker, Mr.: Bowser. You might
get your fingers cut"
Madam, do you know who l amY'
asked Mr.. Bowser as he stood with his
hands on the table before him.
Certainly; you are Mr.. Bowser; Mr..
Samuel BOwser, n my husband"
And yet you talk this way to me"
Il must tell you that fox-pass is
wrong and hope never to hear you use
it. / noticed that you pronounced mon
sieurt the other night as if spelled mon
sewer"
Leaves the House.
Mr.. Bowser went plum color again,
but shut his teeth hard and put on his
hat and Overcoat and left the house.
He wanted confederation. His soul
was stirred to its profoundest depths,
and If the druggist, the butcher and
the plumber agreed with him he would
make Mrs. Bowser tired to the end of
her days. His first call was at the
drug store, where be said:
"Doc. I have got into a little dispute
about Don Quix-eat."
mo wonder you have If you pro-
n0unc it that way"
How do you pronounce itT'
"Keehoty, Of course, same as any one
else that doesn't live in the swamps."
linen you are an ASST.
Ditto! Please 60 nut. I've got to
put up some paregoric, and 1t might
fly to your head"
"Say, Johnson" began Mr.. Bowser
as he found the plumber charging q
customer $3.50 for stopping up a pin
hole leak in a water pipe, did you
ever hear of Hudibrassr
SUT1n much hroc q nn $ho<ss Iov,~hn1
the plumber. "You mean Hudibraw,
don't your
"No, sir, 1 don't mean any such
thing"
Then you'd better ask the -four and
feed man next door. He used to run a
brass foundry"
Butcher CONFIRMS Wife.
Mr.. Bowser walked in on the butcher
as If = complain about too much bone
III 80 meat, bat suddenly smiled and
s:..-:
'--;:".ips. docs your wife read nov
e.
"C"'~ c.':,n ones. She likes those
~ WraIy
What in thunder DO you mean"
Il said Weedy. She writes her name
Ouida, you know. Why do you ask?"
None Of your burned business!' re-
piled Mr.. Eowser as he walked out.
Mrs. Bowser was right and he was
wrong. He would never admit it if he
lived to be a thousand years old, but it
was a fact nevertheless. He wanted to
tear things to pieces as he thought Of
it and walked slowly homeward. Prov
idence was good to him. AS be reached
his gate he saw q man on the steps
who had just rung the bell. 1t was q
postal employee with a special delivery
letter, but Mr.. Bowser didn't wait to
ascertain. He simply rushed upon that
man and dragged him down the steps
and threw him over the fence and
warned him that IL be ever came with
In a mile Of the house again he would
massacre him out Of hand.
NJ OITAn