River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-03-15
The Housekeeper's
Check

By ALBERT BIGELow PAINE

Our new addition was complete, but
we never quite seemed to get through
paying for it. number of times.
when we thought we had settled the
last and final bit of our liabilities,
new demand would be presented,
new hydra head to be smitten ON,
new wound to be scared over and Tor
gotten. A big brace for the tall new
chimney was an extra" OF course.
Likewise the storm windows and
new patent damper for the furnace,
guaranteed to save anywhere from
nine to ninety-nine per cent. of the
coal used. and TO supply at least dou-
BILE the heat The spark-screen, and
irons, and other adjuncts for the fire
piace-these, too, were outside the
contract, and good deal easier to buy
than to pay for, even when the buy
ing meant mousing about in dusty an
tique stores, and the paying simple
matter of drawing check.
It is easy to draw checks when the
account is replete-in fact, it is rather
a pleasure to do SOL am sure the
Little Woman used to regard me with
an admiration akin to awe as | care
Iessly filled in the figures and name
of payee, and signed my name with
neat flourish on the line below.
/ suppose she wondered why l never
let her do it, and very likely consid-
cred me selfish in conserving to my
self this important and rather agree
able duty, though | did not think OF
this at the time.
Il presently became less agreeable
When the third figure of our balance
waned into the perspective until 1t
became q thin line that would become
a vanishing point at the least touch,
the construction OF a check became a
serious matter. 1t was no longer light
Iy conceived and carelessly put to-
gether, with decorative scrolls at the
end, like spring lyric. 1t became a
thing of forethought and reflection
to be wrought at last with a grave dig
nifty that savored of the epic's solemn
close-With that feeling of sadness
and longing that marks the end of
each and every waning balance in the
bankers till
AS I was saying, our balance became
a feature OF consideration, even dis
cussion There were a good many
things we still needed in the way of
furniture and decorations, now that
our habitation was to our liking. We
also needed clothes. When we sat
down In our rather imposing rooms in
which there were a few good old
pieces of furniture, and some truly an
tique rugs, the fact that our apparel
was also good and old did not give
pleasure to the Little Woman.
She became almost disagreeable
about it one day, when l was arguing
for a new chair, and declared that we
looked like tramps that had got in
while the folks we're away.
still urged the chair. l said that
clothes were matter OF display and
vanity. Also, that they were transient
and fleeting, while the chair would be
the comfort Of lifetime. Whereupon
the Little Woman stated that there
were certain garments that were not
used for display, except in magazine
advertisements and that these as well
as the chair were matters of comfort,
and needed a good deal more. She in
sisted that we had laid out enough on
extraneous luxuries for one year, and
that there were few things we might
forego, in order to be decently clad.
To do the Little Woman justice, l
may say that | believe her general ten
dency is rather toward furniture than
raiment-this being the true collector
spirit, and to be commended. She had
smothered her better inclination, this
time, and was ready to sacrifice the
chair for a silk waist and something
to go under it, She meant to have
garments, whatever the cost. You
shall see how she was punished.
We went together. Neither could
quite trust the other alone in the de-
partment store revel that was to fol-
low the purchase of the waist. The
destinations of department store are
too great to be resisted singly. Even
working together and in full accord,
we yielded oftener than was good for
our balance sheet, or for the prospect
Of the new chair any time within a
period when we might reasonably
hope to need comforts for the flesh.
We didn't pay as we bought. There
is great saving of time in getting a
transfer card, and a greater certainty
OF prompt delivery in having goods
come C. o. ID. When we got through
we had bought most of the things we
could think of, and a good many we
never would have thought of without
seeing them, and that we couldn't
think of again when we got outside
and were on the train going home.
had not counted the exact amount
of our debauch, but had run the fig
ureS up loosely and literally, and
realizing that the end was now inevi-
table. drew a check next morning for
our full balance. Then I went away,
leaving the check and the obsequies
in the hands of the Little Woman. If
the amount was not quite enough she
was to make it up out of her weekly
purse If 1t was too much she was to
keep the change.
BY some quirk of fortune it was too
much. 1t was several dollars too much
Ahe Little Woman was elated until
the driver regarded the check rather
doubtfully and decided that he
couldn't give money for it. He would