davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
when Cod Become Blind.

Several large cod are kept in one Of
the tanks of the Amsterdam aquarium.
necessarily near the surface and there
fore exposed to strong light from
above. Now, the cod, though not q
deep sea fish, is not surface swim
mer and lives at depths where the sun
light must be very much modified by
passage through the water. 1t lives in
what to US would be semidarkness. Ey-
cry one Of these cod exposed to the
strong light is suffering from an ex-
traordinary hypertrophy of the eye
The whole organ has become over
grown, as If in the effort to adjust it
self to the use of more light rays it had
become overequipped and then useless.
The cod, In fact, are blind. The most
interesting feature in this change is the
extraordinary rapidity with which in
creased supply of light rays has over
developed the organ for its use. 1t has
taken place not by slow degrees from
individual to Individual, but in a course
Of time to be measured by months and
In every individual in the t>;. If
this example is a measure of to rapid
fly with which such changes take place
among fishes, the adaptation of those
creatures which have migrated from
the shallow waters Of the deep seas
shown by the total loss or enormous
development of their eyes and the
growth Of Illuminating organs to light
the abyss. may have been as rapid as
1t Is marvelous.-London Spectator.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Names and the Law.

Speaking generally, the law of Eng
land allows a person to assume and
use any name, provided Its use Is not
calculated to deceive or inflict pecuni-
down the law in Dockrell against Dou-
gall, and this attitude of the law. the
Law Journal remarks, Is characteristic
OF our British love of liberty. French
law Is much more strict. 1t forbids any
citizen to bear any name other than
that which is expressed in the registry
Of his birth or to add any surname to
his proper name. German law is the
same, only 1t goes a little further in
imposing penalty on any one giving
a false name to an official.-Dundee
Advertiser
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Sufficiently Identified.

She walked into a branch bank on
upper Broadway and pushed check
through the paying teller's window.
"You will have to be identified" said
he. II don't know you, madam"
you don't, eh?" said the woman,
with fire in her eye. Aren't you the
father of the Smith family that has u
fat In the PileremiI apartmentsf"
Eyes"
"Well, am the red headed janitress
that your wife's always complaining
about. When you left home this morn
Ing heard you say: Emily, If our
children get fighting with that old fury
In the basement don't quarrel with her.
Wait till get home and let me talk
with her. Now, II you think you can
get the best Of an argument with
"Here's your money, madam" said
the paying teller. And she took 1t and
went-Everybody's Magazine.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
The Guessing Cook.

I'D give a dollar" said the man who
soddles his stomach, ''to find a cook
who doesn't measure. There used to
De plenty of them. / remember the
lime when half the kitchens In the land
sloried In a guesswork cook. Eating
was a pleasure In those days. 1t isn't
10 now In these whirligig times every
hing has a machine made taste. That
h because the cooks measure so much.
instead Of trusting to inspiration, as
the heaven born cook is bound to do.
The kitchen queens Of today measure
sven the salt they put In the porridge.
No wonder such cookery lacks individ-
nality and is all on the same dead level
" mediocrity. Merciful heavens, what
Ills these biscuits? They're heavy as
cad"
81 think the cook made mistake"
Iaid the mans wife. II got new one
Eesterday-one that doesn't measure. !
am afraid she didn't put enough bak-
ing powder in the biscuits. New York
Sun.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
The Natural Way.

A philanthropic person heard Of a
negro family that was reported In des-
ttute circumstances, and. calling at
their domicile, he found the report true.
The family consisted of the mother, a
son nearing manhood's estate and two
young children. The benevolent old
gentleman after hearing the mothers
story gave her eldest son 81 to get a
chicken for the Thanksgiving dinner
and took his departure. No sooner
was he gone than the negress said to
her son, "Sambo. You done glib me dat
dollah and go get dat chicken In de
maternal wayv-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Equally Ignorant.

The author of "reminiscences of a
Country Politician" once asked la-
borer In an English village how old he
was.
Il be just the same age as the
queen" he said. at be either q fort
night older or fortnight younger. l
don't rightly know which, and I don't
suppose her knows either"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Guns.

The Germans were the inventors of
the first gun. About 1878 Schwartz.
a German machinist, manufactured nu-
merous crude guns which were brought
into use by the venetians In 1892 II
made before small firearms. At Am.
berg there Is still a piece Of ordnance
marked with the date 1903 Cannon
were first used In war at the battle of
Crecy, In 1916. 1t was not until 1914,
however. that they were made In Eng
land.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
where Lincoln Put the wbe,.,on.

Where Lincoln Put the MILESTONE.
A soldier at whose house when a boy
Lincoln paused In his tramps In I'LL
nois and who lent him a milestone to
sharpen his jackknife met him during
the war In Washington. Lincoln re-
membered the incident and spoke of
the use of the milestone.
"Ya-a-s," drawled out the old soldier,
whatever did you do with the whet-
stone? never could find It. We
lowed mebbe you took 1t along with
you" mo, no! I put 1t on top Of the
gatepost = that high one" "Mebbe
you did. Nobody else could have reach
ed 1t, and none of us ever thought to
look there for It," There 1t was found
where 1t was placed fifteen years be.
fore. The soldier reported the fact to
the president.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
The Milking Machine.

The milking machine means larger
investments In dairying. 1t means
more and better milk and butter and
cheese. We thought that we produced
pretty decent sort Of milk. The cows
were clean and the men were clean,
and we have been complimented on
the sanitary condition Of the stable
and milk, but just as soon as we be-
gan milking with the machine there
was decided difference. The man
stated that he noticed the difference
the first time he washed the separator
after separating the milk. There was
great deal less filth In the separator
bowl. An expert dairyman the other
day sampled the milk and pronounced
II perfect milk. There Is absolutely no
chance for any dirt, dust or anything
OF the sort to get into the milk, and IL
the teat cups and rubber tubes are
kept clean-and they can be with very
little trouble-you have product that
Is perfectly wholesome.-Colon C. Lii
lie In Michigan Farmer.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
COrrObOratiye.

"This." exclaimed the orator. sis a
iecadent nation! AS before the fall Of
Rome everything was rotten, so today
In our erstwhile fair land everything
Just here an egg struck him fairly.
His nostrils dilatei.
81 desire" he continued, "before re-
firing to add that this egg Is corrobora-
tive evidence. "-Philadelphia Ledger.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

Though there We're but two herds of
Ayrshires represented at the recent ma
tional dairy show in Chicago. they are
commended as being perhaps the high
est class exhibit of the show 10y the
Breeders Gazette. which says:
The cows were the sensation of tie
show Pansy of Woodroffe freshened
the Saturday before the opening of the
show and in her lavish display of ma
tronly charms WAS altogether out OF
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Dairy and stock Notes.

Nervous horses do better kept in box
stalls, where they can move about.
Ups and downs In the amount Of food
given the cows should be avoided.
Keep them happy and full.
1t pays to run cows for the city man.
They should be gentle, halter broken,
In good condition and look pretty.
Every time you go to the sheep field
take bit Of something for the sheep
to nibble on. That's the way to teach
them to follow.
Have your own mark on your sheep.
They will stray sometimes, and II not
marked how can you prove your prop
erty?
For the average farmer the profit In
growing pigs Is made in using up ma
terial on the farm that otherwise would
necessitate frequent trips to the rail-
road station to dispose Of. Pigs are
more easily marketed than are milk
and grains that they devour.-Farm
Journal.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Well Turned.

"How old are your asked the insur-
ance agent of the lady.
1t was thoughtless of him, and her
indignant "Sirp' brought him straight
way to his senses.
"Of course, you will understand" he
went on. that we have to be careful
about making contracts. merely
wished to assure myself that you are
legally Of age"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

the usual Her type is most sharply
accentuated on intense dairy lines, but
the Ayrshire man who consults modern
type and generally accepted Ideals will
count her hardly "cow" enough for her
milking machinery. But with her red
markings, her abbreviated legs, her
wedge shape and her fat shoulders and
her tremendous udder she played quite
a part as a show COW. She came from
the New York herd Of George William
BailOu,
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
A Case For sympathy.

II have three children, who are the
very image Of myself" said Jones en-
Enthusiastically.
II pity the youngest" returned
Brown quietly.
"Whyw asked Jones.
because he Is the one who Will have
to resemble you the longest" said
Brown.-Tit- Bits.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Just July.


Yes, July,
This Is you
All right.
You can't fool US
Or pass yourself on
For December
Or February seventeenth
Something In the air
Possibly the heat
Gives us a hint,
And we Sherlock Holmes the an.
swer
Right away.
Oh, no;
You don't come round
Pouring sweat down our backs
And making our underclothes
Stick
Like a poor relation.
You wouldn't do anything
Like that.
Ii isn't trick of yours,
When we are sitting on our own
doorstep
Dreaming ourselves rich,
To come around
With a chorus of mosquitoes
I And set the schemes
To music.
! Oh. say,
But you are innocent looking!
If we hadn't met you before
We would never suspect 1t
Of you.
Probably
You can think of more ways
OF having fun
With the human race
Than any other month
That runs loose
Through the year.
You start In
With the firecracker
And end with the hay fever,
Dropping sunstrokes
In between
For good measure.
You bet we are on to you
AS large as a canal appropriation.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
A witty Forlornity.

A forlorn looking man said. tive
tried everything that could turn my
hand to. but couldn't make anything
answer, and now have decided to go
up among the hills. where they say
there's wonderful echo. to see II
can make that answer"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
The Right Horse 20 Raise.

"In deciding what type Of horses to
raise. the farmer should consider the
market in which be expects to sell and
his opportunities for producing that
STYLE" as an exchange remarks.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Nothing Unusual

"He broke the record with his new
automobile"
"Pshaw" replied his Aunt Lucy.
"He Is always breaking something
with that machine. The repair bills
will break his father up In business"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
An Object Lesson.

To prove that harness will move
q load II the start is slow and steady,
but will not move II II started with
Jerk an exchange suggests the follow
Ing proceeding: Hitch piece Of or
binary Irvine to weight Of about
twenty pounds. Pull the cord slowly
and steadily. The weight will move.
Now try to move 1t by applying the
force with quick jerk. The cord
breaks and the weight Is not moved.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Real Secret.

"What do you suppose is back of this
new Bryan boom?"
"The BARRIERS. of course. They want
to get whack at the fellows who had
vowed not to cut their hair until their
hero was elected"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Desperate.

Aunt Ruth-'Tis sad to grow old
Her Niece-How much would you give
to be as young as 1? Aunt RUTH
would almost submit to being as fool
ish.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

"Sir," said DR.. Johnson to a friend,
commenting upon widower who
remarked, though his welded life had
been unhappy, st Is triumph Of hope
over experience"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Unexpected.

'-Can your wife make as good pies as
your mother didr'
eyes. indeed. Mother uses my wife's
recipe."-Cleveland Free Press.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Implicit Truat.

do you trust your husband implicit
ly In all thingsT
"What a question! OF course do
to a certain extent"-Stray Stories.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Too Feeble.

"What did he think Of the Missouri
O. navigable streamT
HE damned 1t with faint praise"
"Pshaw! You couldn't dam the Mis-
souri, with anything like that"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Humor Guo Philosophy
BY DUNCAN N. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Woman is the voice of mans con
science. That's why it is necessary for
her to talk so much.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
All of That.

No profits In the panamas-
That makes the dealers sore.
The hats they sell for fifty-five
Must cost two-eighty-four.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

The devil is the only one who Is
dead anxious for you to get what you
want on any terms
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

When you find man in good work
ing order it is a case of either working
or being worked
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

True politeness is perfect ease and
freedom. 1t simply consists in treating
others just as you love to be treated
yourself.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Analytical.

"Are you fond Of literatureY
"Just canned sausage"
where does that connectr'
Tall of a dog. / hear"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

The man who never makes mistake
isn't fit to live and doesn't
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

II Doesn't take much of a girl to
make fool Of any man. Nature did
% much.-St. Louis Globe Democrat.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
AT the Bottom of

awful sorry for Wilson"
'WhyT
"a lot of trouble lately"
How'd 1t happenw
preacher and marriage license"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

1t costs a good deal to live, but there
would be no fun in ii IL it were cheap.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

A present with a string to it is apt
to cause an ENHANCEMENT.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
New Geography.

sWhat are the principal products ,
Pittsburgh
"Steel rails and scandals"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

Endeavoring to be fashionable on an
old fashioned income Is making prog
ress toward the insane asylum.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

He plays rarely who plays fairly.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

No worm ever turned into hum
mingbird.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
Wanted to Be Differ

Wanted to Be Differ
ent.
"Why in the
world did Maud and
Fred elope?"
"To escape pickle
forks and orange
spoons"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20
TO YOUNG OAiRYMEN.
A Practical, Up to Date Road to Good
Buttermaking.

Let the young man, If possible, spend
some time at dairy school to get
his eyes opened, then work In cream
cry and In good private dairy, where
he can learn much about feeding and
handling cows. The two experiences,
creamery and dairy, will let him see
all sides of the work and broaden his
views. With this preparation, which
should take not less than two years
time, the young man will have an ed
ucation and an experience that quail
fly him for managing a dairy farm at
good salary, or If he is man of force
he can take even the risk Of buying a
dairy on long time or turn his fathers
farm into a profitable dairy. In other
words, he is ably prepared for his life's
work at less cost and in much less
time than his brothers would be who
took the chances of succeeding In any
Of the professions.
Foundation stones.
You will find the two governing prin-
ciples involved Ia good buttermaking
to be, first, cleanliness, and, second,
temperature. There Is nothing that can
keep you from being clean except lazi-
ness, and that is little disease we all
have, like the measles, but remember
that, while it does require extra labor
and deal of 1t to first get things per-
fectly clean about the stable and milk
house, this hard labor will not have to
be repeated provided you never let 1t
get dirty again.
In other words, If you do that every
day that you should do there will be
no accumulation Of dirt about the sta
BILE or milk house. Herein lie the gov
erning principles Of good dairying, to
never let anything get really dirty.-L.
s. Hardin In Home and Farm.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

The prodigal son would better not re-
United States inspection.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-20

ing
' lsll
. BILE
| llr-
| nat
| en-
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| as
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his
. ere
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| Be-
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ut
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' IN,
. VS.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-20
RELIEF OFFERED
 BY WHOLE NATION New York SubScribeS S500,000
 in Short Time OTHER CITIES ARE ACTIVE Manufacturers Record Urges South to Rap,ap,har Me ridi-n n.IkirnorA
Manufacturers Record Urges South to Remember Meridian, Baltimore, Jacksonville and Galveston
 and Respond Freely.

New York, April 19-New York today
 subscribed over s500,o0o for the sufferers in California. Many small contributions
 were not reckoned in this total In addi- ton it was announced that Clarence H.
 Mackay, president of the Postal Tee-
 graph Cable company, has offered s10oOOo
 to the University of California for new
 buildings. Contributions came without any organized effort. Mayor Mcclellan tonight, however appointed a committee
 which will undertake systematic work in securing funds, and in handling supplies. The Pennsylvania and Erie railroads and 1 Wels-Farso & Co. have offered to ship
 supplies free of charge. The Western Union Telegraph company will handle all relief messages gratis.
 Todays subscription list was headed by
 John D. Rockefeller with s1OO.OOO The
 United Railways Investment company. | through it's brokers, subscribed s75,000, M.
 Guggenheim Sons contributed $5O,OO0. the Carnegie hero fund and J. P Morgan & Co $25, GOO each. Contributions of si0000
 and 5000 were numerous. The New York Stock exchange brokers gave Ss5.0OO in
 addition to the large individual donations from the Wall street district
 Mrs Herman Oelrichs, who lost much property in San Francisco is chairman of committee of women arranging for benefit Saturday evening and afternoon at the Hippodrome. J. M Barrie eabled
 to Chas. Frohmans office here a contri- hItion of S250
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-20
EVERYTHING SOUTH OF
 MARKET STREET GONE.

Chicago, April 19.-The Western Union Telegraph company at o'clock tonight received the following dispatch from San Franciseo
 ''Everything south of Market street to Twenty-third gone except the mint, and fire is still burning. The postoffice was damaged by the earthquake, also slightly by fire Everything south of Mission street is entirely gone up to Vanness avenue and past Vanness west of Golden Gate avenue up to Octavia street.
 "Chnatown and Mob Hill have been wiped out. The fire has crossed Vanness avenue east of Union street, leaving only ruin in its wake. Nothing is left in the business district. The fire is burning now about Union and Franklin streets, with prospects of continuing. All that is left now is bounded by Union, Vanness, Golden Gate avenue to Octavia, Hayes and Fillmore streets over to Market street."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-20
MAD THINGS DONE BY
 THE cRAzED INHABITANTS.

In the panic many mad things are being done Even soldiers were obliged in many instances to prevent men and wo- men, made insane from the misfortune that has engulfed them. from rushing into doomed buildings in the hope of sav- ing valuabIes from the ruins. In nearly every instance snch action has resulted in death to those who tried It..
 At Larlkin and Sutter streets two men and a woman broke from the police and rushed into burning apartment house never to reaprear.
 Probably two hundred thousand refu- gees are struggling to get out of the city. and hourly the task is becoming more difficult, as the fire and heat cut off avenue after avenue of escape. The streets are filled with struggling people, some crying and weeping and calling for missing loved ones. Crowding all sidewalks in the threatened area are hum dreds upon hundreds of householders at
 
 .fConyfnued o1 Seventh Pauel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-20
Chicago Raises Large Fund.

Chicago. April 19.-Chicaeo today raised S75,00O for the relief of the distressed in San Francisco and this amount is a re- suit of only two meetings that have been held. Others are scheduled for tonight and tomorrow and the general public has as yet contributed nothing because of the lack of properly appointed people to receive II. This matter will be arranged by tomorrow.
 The first meeting held today was by the Chicago Commercial association, which raised $25.OOO in five minutes. Later at meeting of the Chicago Clearing House association s50.000 was subscribed special meeting of the city council to arrange for the raising of funds was held late in the day and Mayor Dunne was authorized to appoint committee of five hundred to raise funds.
 Five carloads of supplies were ship ped from here late today by Colonel Rob inson, chief commissary of the department of the lakes. The cars contained tents. sausage, beans hard tack canteens and crackers.