davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-02-19
LORD AShBURTON
MARRIES ACTRESS
(Scrlpps News Association

PARIS, Feb. 19.-Lord Ashbur-
ton married today Miss Frances
Donnelly, an American chorus girl
AS Frances Belmont she appeared
in "Florodora." Honeymoon in
South Africa. He is 80 years Of
age, the fifth baron of Ashburton,
a widower and wealthy.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-02-19
HENDERSON DYING

DUBUQUE, Ia, Feb. 10. - Ex-
Speaker Henderson suered another
paralytic stroke and is losing his
sight. The end is near.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-02-19

OUR TROOPS RUSHINGTO THE
FAR EAST AND WARSHiPS
ARE DETACHED AND ARE
STEAMING FOR CHINESE WA.
TERS-RAPlD PREPARATIONS
FOR OUR FIGHT WITH THE
ALMOND EYES.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-02-19
RESIGNED.
DID WTTE

(Scripps News Associatiou.)
ST. PETERSBURG, Feb. 10. -
Write resigned three times last
week, but each time was persuad-
ed to withdraw his resignation.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-02-19
THIS DAY IN HISTORY.

16S9-United States senators Or
ganized a Don't Worry club.
1777-John Paul Jones introduce
ed hazing in the United States
navy.
1982-Packers still claim they
gave information in confidence.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-02-19
REVIVE CASE OF BARONESS
IMPRISONED AS A B0RC|A

BERLIN, Feb. 49, Baroness
Ellis Won Haeusler is again occupy,
ing public attention Two and a
half years ago the baroness was
sentenced at Munich to six years
penal seryidude on a charge of
poisoning. Now she has been TEN.
porarily liberated for a new trial.
Baroness Haeusler presided as
lady superior of a high class chart
table institution, supervised by the
Bavarian minister Of the interior.
The inmates are destitute aristo-
cratic ladies. They are admitted
only by royal decree.
At the trial of 1903 It was shown
that Baroness Haeusler ruled with
brutal severity. She habitually
pulled the aged inmates hair,
pinched their faces, dealt them
blows with her clinched fists, and
logged them with horse and dog
whips, and imposed unusually diff
'D, Ts tasAs ;. , tas
Il am rs years of age. Baroness
Haeusler made life unbearable to
me. She would enter my room at
O'Clock in the morning and whip
me until | got up and dressed. Still
chastising me, she compelled me
TO scrub the floor of the room. She
occupied me with mental work for
three hours before allowing me to
eat a scrap Of dry bread. After
wards she made me crawl along
the stone floor or the corridor and
remain On my knees in the little
chapel for two hours. At the end
OF this time l tainted and had to
be carried back to bed. As pun-
ishment for fainting the baroness
put me on half rations for two
weeks, during which l became Ill
through lack of proper nourish-
ment. AS often as she saw me the
baroness called me a reptile pau.
per-"
PRAYERS for Tat
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-02-19
Prayers for Cat.

II was Baroness Haeusler's habit
every morning to ask whether one
of the "old witches" had not died
during the night and expressed dis
appointment If nothing had hap
pened to them.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-02-19

The Press delivered at your door
Tor 25c per month. Phone 375.
The Washington times., 1906-11-25

the Kanir's head" slattery resumed.
and"
" The funerals tomorro-, said the
iconociast. ''Gs on Slattery. Did they
send another Kafhr down with a coal
scutJla on his head?"
No. they hired mo for one pound a
day and grub 20 fu the bucket" re-
turned Slattery. You see, Flaherty.
] had % dig six holes I'm the clay and
rocks ard lI the holes with dynamite
car.ri6cts After that I had TO light
the six fuses and get into the bucket
and yell 90 the naRurs at the top Of
the hole 90 be twlstn' the wind8ss
tlll Ia be on the top of the hole before
the blast went OFF"
- nice, oIane aIsy Job for sou that
was. Slsttery." said Flaherty. admir-
lngly. TEAS like Eivin' you a free
pass into Paradise. suppose YOU
were singin 'Good-by. Annie Darling
Ell? Well, what happened your
II was that freckeued that couldn't
light the fuses" said the story-teIler.
''Whin / had the first fuse lit me hand
would be shakln like ] had the palsy.
and whin I had the third fuse lii 1
couldn't light the fourth fuse. and
Jumped into the bucket and yelled 10
the nagurs 10 be twistin' me up before
the blast whit on
Well. ] see you got 20 ;he top In
time, said Flaherty, You re stul
here"
The Washington times., 1906-11-25

outside OF the Fourth Ward In your
lie. But II you were, what were you
doin IN Kimberley"
Il vas diggin' for diamonds" replied
SiatJeTy stOutly.
''Why don't YOU say YOU were ] g
gin postholes" said Flaherty. ct ..ere
might be some fools who would be-
lieve you. Diamonds added FIaherty
ContempUuously-
THE hole I was dissin' was a hun
dred feet deep" resumed Slattery with
cow lotion.
Then you were blown out OF the
top OF the hole and not through the
bottom of it," said FIaherty
Yes" continued SlaJtcry and II
YOU don't believe me IN show YOU the
hole in me Leg
Here slattery rolled up his trousers
and displayed 20 Flahertys doubttug
eyes a deep indentatgn ia the flesh
Just below the knee where au old
wound had evidently been made.
well" said Flaherty. cynlCaIy. 'I
suppose IN have TO take your word
for il, if you have no anydavit in your
pocket"
Amt the anydavit IN me leg
enough 70 prove Itg'' said Slattery
augrily.
% Twould be just like you 10 he
making that hole IN your leg with a
brick so that / might believe your
story, said Flaherty with "a grin
This taunt rendered Slatte-y almost
speechless with rage. He Faspcd and
spluttered. Then ne arose, took of his
coat and challenged FIaherty TO NOR
tai combat said he.
Get mp, YOU dos, You have been
maxim fun of my vera.city long
enough. l don't want 90 hit you
slttin."
what will / git up fOr2' asked Fla
herJy. leaning on his elbow and light
ing his pipe.
"Bekase I'm going to throw you out
OF the window" said the enrased man,
81 wouldn't do that" said Flaherty,
coaXingly. ''bekase there might be
some one passiu', and If I fell o. them
from a window nifty feet from the
ground and killed them it would be
the huTry-up wagon for YOU, and the
'lectric chair. You see. twouId be
murder in the second degrse-kium'
one man with another.
Slattery grinned at the ingenious re-
ply, Then he resumed his coat and
his chair. He resumed his interrupted
story with "a caution TO his friend r.
The Washington times., 1906-11-25

OF sw1g. This done march. said two
of the cops 90 the three disarmed
cracksmen. The three were marched TO
the basement, ~ here the watchman was
sin coriagod up. Then the two cops
executed "a WALKING backward stunt,
stin covering the three cracksmcn, got
out 81 the steel door al the back lead
ing into the alley, slammed the door.
watch closed with q spring lock ana the
three were neatly imprisoned.
THE imprisoned cracksmen had no tools
and SO they c5uldn pry their way out.
They united the Waterman and ordered
him to turn them loose. but they had
colared the watchman's KEYS up stairs
before dragging him to the basement.
and the keys were still up stairs. So
the three craftsmen and the Waterman
were found together in the basement at
the openinS-up time the following morn
ing.
THE cracksmen's story that they
themselves had been stucksup by a pair
OF cops was secuted and when the
Waterman chimed in and stated that
the story was true he was immediately
suspected of being himself In cahoots
with the blowppe men. The Waterman
had hard time to square himself. and
came mighty GlOac 10 gong 10 prison.
He stuck to the cop story so persistent
IS. however that the policemen on the
bank beat had TO get to the front with
all sorts OF explanations as To where
they had been while the robbery was in
progress. To square themselves both Of
the cops had eventually to own up that
they had been taking maps at the time.
and they lost their badges The three
cracksmen got their hits in the Trenton
prison.
Now. these two chaps in the rigout
OF cops were Chicago bank burglars
They'd sailed East to wait for their
graft 10 pick up a bit in their head
quarters town of Chi. and in some mys-
terious way they'd learned of the details
OF this proposed Trenton job. IT looked
like ready money and no work worth
mentioning. and so they went to one Of
the fence customers Of New York and
got themselves diked out in cops rigs.
Then they went to Trenton on the
The Washington times., 1906-11-25

appointed night and just waited around
tu their moment arrived. Then they
made their play and it was a neat and
profitable one at that They got away
with the goods, and the story didn't
get out four years afterward. Then
one of the Chicago cracksmen got
drunk one night and blew the yarn.
Now If there was ever anything in this
honor among thieves fake you'd naJu-
rally have supposed that these two
Chicago cracksmra would have been os-
tracized by their pals who heard of
their profitable masquerade as cops in
Trenton. Nothing Of the sort happened.
Their pals patted them on the back
and called them smart fellows and
ha-had over tho picture of the three
trapped cracksmen locked in the bank
base .nent with the Waterman.
spark Ersfters are very rarely on
the level with each other, even when
they're working as a team. ! recall one
case Of this sort particularly well, be
cause one Of the crooks involved told
me of the incident most pictureyquCly
a pair OF topno-ch Philadelphia spark
grafters got on to the fact that the pro-
prietor of a certain Walnut street res
taurant started for his home on a Wal
nut street car ever nicht about II
o'clock. and he generally had n souse
on him at this time They had sized
this restaurant man up because ne al
ways wore in his fourth hand tie a
huge. fiashy four-stone diamond pin.
The stones were the little white boys
as the crooks call them. and each of
them looked TO weigh about four ca
rats.
Tho old restaurant man. as they
noticed. was usually pretty we'll lit up
when he took the car 20 go home and
ne looked good to the pair of spark
grafters. So they arranged a night 10
get tha, pin They boarded the car in
which the restaurant man sat half doz-
ing in the enjoyment Of his regular
going home bun. and waited for the
car 10 flI bp with folks from the theater.
THE old restaurant man, very gallant.
got up TO give a lady his seat. Then
one Of the spark grafters gave him the
elbow in the small Of the back. and
The Washington times., 1906-11-25
Mark Twan's First Interview With Artemus Ward.

7 HAD never seen him before. He
brought letters OF introduction from
mutual friends in San Francisco.
and by invitation 1 breakfasted
with him. It was almost religion, there
IN silver mines 70 precede such meal
with cocktails. Artemus with the true
cosmopolitan instinct always deferred
10 the customs OF the country he was in,
and 50 he ordered three OF those aDOn-
nations Kingston was present am
a match for nearly any beverage YOU
can mention except a whisky cocktail,
and therefore, / said / would rather
not drink one. / said II would go right
To my head and confuse me SO that I
would be In helpless tangle In ten
minutes
Artemus dropped an unimportant re-
mark or two. and assumed a look Of SUI
perhuma1 earnestneSs and made the
IolloWlng astounding speech. lie said.
NOW, there is one thing I ought 10
ask you before / forget IL. You have
been In Silverland-here in NeVeda-two
or three years, and. OF course, your po-
stuon on the daily press has made il
necessary Tor you to go down in the
mines and examine them carefully I'm
detail and. therefore. you know all
about the silver mining business. Now.
what l want TO set at isis. we'll is the
way the deposits OF ore are made YOU
know. For instance; Now, as ] under
stand II, the vein which contains the
0iANNi - A4ioF' lOiicu ltt t'tt"ttli casting
of granite. and runs along the ground
and sticks up like a curbstOne.
well. take vein forty feet thick. for
example or eighty for that matter. or
even 100-say YOU go down on il with
a shaft, straight down, vou know, or
with what you cali the 'incliGes,' maybe
YOU go down 500 feet. or maybe YOU
don't go down but 2o0, any way YOU go
down. and all the time this vein grows
narrower. when the castings come near
er or approach each other. YOU may
say. that is when they do APPROACH,
which, Of course. they do not always do.
particularly in cases where the nature
Of the formation Is such that they stand
apart wider than they otherwise would,
and which geology has failed 20 account
The Washington times., 1906-11-25

and they had me twisted up ten feet
when they stopped twistin'"
You were certainly tn a nice, warm,
comfortable place then" said Flaherty.
81 suppose you could see the fireworks
below ana hear the cheerful fuses sing
in ch2"
81 could replied Sattcry with con-
viction- THE fires 81 he'll were roarin'
beneath me. and there was I siJtin in
the bucket and lookiu up at The
staT-rs. You must understand, Flah-
orty, that when you are n a hole ike
that il is all The same as If YOU were
On a well in the daytime And there
was J lo0llin' up al Arcturus. and
SipWne. and orion. and wondering
which one Of them I'd be blottin' out
when the blast went of.
TRUE for you. Slattery." said Flah-
orty. "Vaynus and Calliopus and the
Milky Way would be sllodadd'en for
home if YOU were loose in the heav-
ms"
yes. yes" relied the delighted
Slattgry. charmed by this cordial ap-
probation of his inventive genius.
Did YOU ever hear Of the man that
was strapped 20 the mouth of can
non and another man sJandin' at the
bunghoIe with a lighted match minis
Iand2 That's where / was, only 1
was inside the cannon, Thin what did
] DO. IIaherty?"
Il suppose you prayed 10 the powers
above to pa-ardOn you for the NANNY
The Washington times., 1906-11-25

lies y~u have told" said his listener.
NO. l didn't said the exultsnt
Slattery. Il grabbed the rope. and
here was ! goin' mp the rope hand over
hard kickin' at the sides OF the hole
until l reached the top. Then / threw
myself on me face and the blast went
OF, and there was a rain o. blast.
sand and clay and rocks for ten min
utes- The earth tTembIed and all
the little birds flew away TO q safe
place There was O buzziu' In me ears
as II made by a thousand bees. and
the sweat OF fear was on me, AEd
while / vas layin there with me
mouth fun Of sand I was sayin' 40
meself I am dyin'. meIord, dyiL'i'
when I thought OF them haythin uagur
Eatfirs. and a black rage took hold Of
me. / climbed ont OF the pile OF dirt
that covered me and kicked the head
of q pick"
And did you stop 10 say a word Of
thanks for the salvation OF your life7''
asked Flaherty.
no, replied Slattery. Il hadn't
time. I took the handle Of the pick
and chased the black d.yvils two miles.
and / had every one of their legs and
arms broke. only they ran too fast for
me
Then you We're not at al thankfuIT'
said FlaherJy.
.'Nothin' TO speak Of" was the re-
ply. ''but I think the Kafhrs were
Copyright 1896. by ". r. Hearst)
The Washington times., 1906-11-25

- LATTERF piled ElsherJys plate
with boiled Goldfish, mashed po-
} tatoes. and turnlls.
1t is sorry ! ana that l can
nOt give you a turkeys wing OF a
piece Of the breast" said he. "But !
lost so much time on account of the
ironworkers' strike that ] cannot AZ
ford 10 pay 80 cents pound for tur-
key"
What talk have you." replied Flah-
erty. the brickiayer; you ought TO be
glad you're alive and have your health
on this beautiful THANKSGIVING Day.
Many a man as strong as you is ia the
poOrhouse or in Iail"
''Of oourse. it's thankful am that
I'm no worse OF than 1 am" replied
Slattery. but I'm maxim no fuss
about it,"
mo, you ungrateful haste" respond
ed Flaherty, cynically, you have the
three greatest things that the good
God gave 10 man-healJh, strength.
and good appetite-and stiu YOU ara
unhappy. I suppose you're pinin' for
divvil-wa sOn now, Ell, TO be rlunin'
over ould women and little childher2''
No, / wouldn't want one O. them
machines replied Slattery, but 1
would like TO have some of the things
that the rich have to eat, like lobster
salad and patty-de-foy grass and
mushroom soup and divviled kidneys.
! often thought when 1 was lying
awake nights that Ia like TO ate some
o them things. Nov, we'll say, how
would you Ike TO have some calfs
foot telly2 I never tried fl, but ia
like to see how It tastes. II sounds
nice. I'm thlnkin' that kind o. Jelly
would roll on a mans tongue Ike
dewdrops on a rose. I'd he raIe
thankful II had a taste o. calls foot
jelly"
I'm ashamed 70 hear g. always
talkin' about somethln' t. ...." said
Flaherty. Let me ask. We're you ever
rale thankful for sOmethin' that hap
pened you besides what you could put
in your mouth?"
Yes, wanst," replied Slattery.
What happened yOu?"
Il was driven through q hole in the
ground on rlc top Of six Dustin
sticks of dynamite"
You were in the expiosion?' asked
Flaherty. Where %
In the Kimberley mines 4, South
Africa" replied Slattery
Now don't be tellin' any Hes" said
Ffaherty warningiy. You were never
The Washington times., 1906-11-25

has got into my head and now / can
not understand even the simplest pTOpO-
sluous. ! told you how tx would be.
"Dh, don't mind Il. don't mind &: the
fault was my own, no doubt-thOugh I
did think II was clear enough for"
Don't say a word Clear Why, you
stated IL as clear as the sun 10 any
body but an abject idiot, but It's that
COMPOUNDED cocktail that has played TIE
mischief"
ono. now don't say that. I'll begin
Don't now. for goodness sake. dom
do anything of the kind. because ] tell
you my head is IN such a condition that
/ don't believe I could understand the
most trihing question man might ask
me"
Now. don't you be afraid. I'll put It
so plain this time that you can't help
but get the hang OF IT, We Will begin
at the very beginning. lie leaned far
across the table. with determined I'M
pressiveness wrought upon his every
feature, and fingers prepared to keep
tally OF each point rs enumerated. and
l. leaning forward with painful interest
resolve to comprehend or perish.) You
know the vein. the ledge. the thing that
contains the metal whereby Il Consti-
tutes the medium between ell other
forces, whether Of present Or remote
aEencieS. so BROUGHT 20 bear in favor
OF the former AGAINST the latter. or the
latter against the former. or all or both
or coWnrOmiSinE as possible the rela-
tive differences existing within the
radius whence Culminare the several de-
cTecs Of similarity 10 which"
7 said: "oh blame my wooden head
u amt any use II amt any uso 10 try
J can't understand anvthine The niainer
Won Get 10 the more I can't understand
tho hauu OF g."
I heard susnicious noise behind me.
and turned In time TO see Kingston d0dg-
i0~ behind q newspaper and duakine
With gentle ecstasy OF Iaugrtov
looked al Ward arafn and he rad
thrown of his fraad solemnitv and was
laughing slso Then 7 saw that 7 ha9
been sold. that 7 bpd been made the
VICTIM Of a swind,a I'm the wav OF a
string Of plausibly worded sentences
that didn't n san anything under the
sun.
The Washington times., 1906-11-25

Faith. 7 am, replied Slattery. but
that's becase / made an invention or
me own that saved me life. Whin
had the hole down sixty feet I took
Two candles. skies. and cut them into
TWO pieces each, thin ] put each piece
Of candle down feruist each piece Of
fuse, thin ] Dit the candle. and pulled
each piece OF fuse over into the fame
&C the candle, You'u MIND. Flaherty..
that IL would be a little while before
the fame Of the candle would be burn
in through the fuse. and ny that time
ia Doe yelllu 90 the nBEurs"
You certainly are a great inventor. "
said Flaherty. admlrIugly. II think
sou must have sawed at least ten sec
ouds Ey your quick brain
ARE YOU making game OF me again 90
said SlIJtery. suspiciously- "Ons sec
ond would be enough TO save my life.
IL ] only had IL 10 spare.
"You were quicker than the dyua-
mite. said Flaherty.
Faith was. replied Slattery
'Hut the explosion nearly got me
week later. and &c was on Thanksgiv-
ing Day, too. The reason I remember
was that the Yankre that hired me
said BE- was Il habit in Boston whore
ne came from 90 eat an sou could stuff
down. and call 90 "a day Of thanks. AS
] was salin' / had the candies lit and
the fuse pulled over in the fame Of
The candle. and / yelliu to the black
nagurs- Twist sc divvils sc, twist.
The Washington times., 1906-11-25

rard.lE my reference 10 his truthful
ness because IL was dangerous 10 trihe
with an honest man But FIaherty
broke IN with another question.
'slatterv, would them di tmonds YOU
were digcin' cut glass;
They were sharper pCr your
tongue" rgtortcd SIlttery. IF ycu
don't stop hsuy-raggiu' me. Fiaaerty,
TIT never come TO the ThauEsgiyil'
part OF nv story"
'Ill say no more" said FIahcrty,
with apparent conrltion. You were
sayn' that Thin diamonds were bigger
nor pigeons -EEs. and what alse were
you Eoin Co s1y2''
'lf sou will keep your mouth shut
long enough" said Slausry. 4 tel you
that we got no diamonds We we're
diggln' for them, but We didn't get
EN-"
"lou were IN a poor place 10 yet
them. slid Flaherty. the pT0hsr
place TO look for diamonds is in
jewelers. window"
IF you're tellin' tho story III let you
tell IT, said SlatteTy sullenly. but II
m % tell it I'll say that about TWEEN
~ years ago ! worked me way on a
sailin' vessel from London 60 Cape
Town. Eyecv man on board me ship
was crazy about the diamond fields.
but twas weary march up country
from the sea, and when / got TO Kim
beriey / was nearly dead from the
heat ana tho hunger. There Was plen-
IN OF work IN the big diamond mines,
but YOU had TO work with a lot ~
hafiT naEurs IN a hole 50 hot y0ud
think the doors Of the bad place were
open and the fires o. torment BLOWN
on you. After ! was IN Kimberley a
week Z met a Yankee that had a con-
cession from one q the big compa-
niles, and was sinkin' a shaft six feet
wide and six feet across. lie worked
the shaft with windiass across the
top and a rope two inches thick tied 10
an iron bucket that ne used to twist
up the dirt from the bottom OF the
hole. He had a Kamr nagur In the
hole at nifty feet down fllin' the
E.-krt. and one gay. when ten other
tafirs were twistin Up a bucket filled
with blue clay and rocks, the bucket
twisted and 80o pounds Of
Diamonds. rubies, kohinoors, and
such like. Interrupted F'laherty.
Slsttery glered.
49, clay and rock ratified down on