Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-04-06
WHEN TWAIN WAS BLIND
Humorist SightleSS Once In a
Vast German Inn.
HOW HE SPENT A sLEEPLEss NIGHT

At q Meeting For the Blind, Humor.
Gus Writer Tells of His own Hours
of Blindness on q Dark NfHht-HOw
He Hit mt a Ghost and Broke Mir
ror-Long Hunt For a Sock.
A new poem by Richard Watson Gill
der, a striking letter from Helen Kel-
, Ter, an appeal for funds by Joseph II.
! Choate and a funny story by Mark
Twain made up the programme of the
! meeting held In the ballroom of the
Waldorf-Astoriat the other night by the
New York State Association For Pro-
noting the Interests of the Blind, says
the New York Times
The new Glider poem was printed on
the programmes. Here it is:
pity the BlindP Yes: pity those I
| Whom day and night inclose
| In equal dark: TO whom the suns
| And pitchy night time are the same. /.
But pity most the blind
Who cannot see
That to be kind
Is life's felicity.
J Mr.. Clemens presided over the meet
ing and told the story of when he was
, hopelessly blind for q space of about
! two hours.
Il have a mass of statistics here" he
said to the large audience filling the
boxes and seats on the ballroom floor.
but / am afraid of them, because L
was never able to do much with that
rugged study, mathematics. can only
figure OH the multiplication table up to
times 9, which is-S4 1 can't even
figure on the name of the society, 1t is
so long. i would write it out for you
to take home with you, but can't spell
1t, and Andrew Carnegie is somewhere
down in Virginia. This association
needs $4,000. and we may be able to
collect 1t here. There is no graft in it
or would not be presiding.
II know what 1T is to be blind. / was
blind once. 1t occurred after anexcur-
sion from Heidelberg to a medieval
town about twenty miles away. The
Rev. Joe Twitchell of Hartford was
with me. He is still living. 1 always
like a minister with me Oh an excur-
sion. He makes n fine lightning rod
for such excursions as the one we
made. We went up by rail, and circum-
stances were such as to bring us back
on a raft.
I'm this ancient town, which had mot
altered building or put up a new zone
in !, 800 years, we had q room for the
night which was as large as the beds
were small. We had to sleep on our
sides in the beds. Twitchell's bed was
way down south in that room, and
mi Ir-t
sleep after, the light was put out and
finally decided to leave the room and
go into the square and sit on the edge
of n tinkling fountain.
"Off in the southwest of that room n
mouse got busy, and threw something
at it. 1t pleased the mouse, and 1t kept |
on making a noise. / couldn't stand it
with the other occasional noises in the |
room. The darkness of that room lay |
in great cakes. 1 got out of bed and |
clawed around in an endeavor TO accu- |
mulate my clothes. 1 got most of the |
things in the room in pile save one |
sock. 1 began to hunt that sock. On |
hands and knees 1 crawledi for three /
hours.
Il might have concluded that tie |
sock was in the wash and saved myself |
some adventures, but did not think of |
that. ] remembered distinctly that |
there We're six chairs and n table in |
that room before 1 went to bed, but 1 |
butted. thirty-six chairs and enough ia
bles to fill the dining room of the Wal
dorf
Finally I decided to stand up in
what clothes 1 had on me. / saw a
shadowy form, and / had no intentions
of letting any ghost bite me without q
struggle. 1 took one of the thirty-six
chairs and smashed it. 1t was q mir
ror. Then reflected.
Il got back on my hands and knees
and Travelled few more miles of this
Oklahoma of a bedroom. Finally I |
reached a wall and stood up again.
felt shelf. I was delighted. 1t was
the first encouragement had received
1 was then certain thatiI had not pass
ed the city limits.
ION the shelf was ajpitcheF of water.
1 CROPPED for 1t and it fell. 1t fell on
Joe Twitchelrs face. 1t nearly drown
ed Twitchell, but it brought me the
glad relief of company When he
struck a match got back to bed.
Il have never found the sock, but the
hours of darkness 1 experienced in the
explorations in that room We're not
empty hours. They served their pur-
pose. The Rev. Joe Twitchell had
longer legs than /, and we both wore
pedometers on that trip. AS walked
in my sleep always wore mine to bed
with me. When got up ii the morn
Ing found that 1 had gained sixteen
miles on Twitchell. Agufn. my reflect
ing after the mirror incident made me