Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1906-06-14
Uncle BertraIn's
Curate
BY ST. -RLIANA
Copyright, BY Joseph B. Bowles, j

ana We-mOtner, Constance, George
and certainly did not want one. But
1t was no use. Uncle had made up his
mind to 1t and nothing would have
stopped him. 1t was one of his new
fads.
must tell you that mother is a
widow, and, with US, keeps house for
our bachelor uncle. AS long as l can
remember, the rectory had been our
home.
We ail-except Constance, who is
just II and sentimental-tried the
usual amount of arguments, and we all.
of course, failed, as We usually did
when Uncle Bertram was bent upon
some new scheme. But the shadow OF
this latest fad hung over our heads
with unusual heaviness; and when the
following advertisement appeared In
the leading church paper we felt that
the new trouble was indeed upon us:
Wanted, by country rector, a
young curate. No objection to one
fresh from the university to whom a
title might be given. Broad-minded
preferred. Offered: board and resi-
dence in charming old rectory, with
small salary. Dry, bracing climate.
Plenty Of spare time could be guaran-
teed. Tennis, golf. boating. bathing.
hockey, bicycling, riding, driving, mo-
toring, and the use of stables"
Uncle had no less than 80 replies to
his advertisement. Oh! those replies!
Some of them were worth keeping
After much consideration uncle weed
ed them down to five. And then the
fun began.
The five selected candidates were
each requested to come, in turn, to
have a personal interview; and as we
are ten miles from the nearest railway
station, we had to put each OF them up
for the night.
The first, Mr.. Lovelace, a delicate,
poetical-looking man, arrived on Bit
terly cold day. After the ten miles in
our pony cart, with Nebuchadnezzar in
a stubborn mood, Mr.. Lovelace pre-
sented fcrlorn appearance indeed.
was sure that Uncle Bertram had
tried his best to be CHEEKY and equally
sure that he failed signally all along
the way.
'Ah!' ne said, as he brought his
drenched victim into the hall, now
that we're home at last, Mr.. Lovelace.
all the trials of the journey will be for
gotten"
We were all in the hall and Con-
stance looked compassionately at the
half-drowned man, who rolled his eyes
towards hers as though he deserted in
them the only kindred spirit. Mother
said she hoped he had not taken cold,
that she had ordered a fire in his bed
room, and that tea would be ready
soon.
After he had become a few degrees
less cold and few shades less blue,
at given signal-a cough from I'm
Gle Bertram-we all left the drawing
room, that the rector and his select
ed candidate might be alone.
never heard exactly what passed
between them, but after about an hour
and half uncle came out of the draw
ing room, excited and rather cross,
and said to mother in the dining room:
MIR. LoveIace has taken a chill and
will retire to his room at once. He
would like a small quantity of quaker
oats, some sweet spirits of nitre, and
hot water bottle.
Then he returned to the drawing
room, left the door open and said to
Mr.. Lovelace: There is a very good
express train early in the morning, and
no doubt, with this chill, you will be
glad to get back to your aunt in Lon
don as soon as possible"
Uncle, nothing daunted, speedily ar
ranged for the next man, a Mr.. Robin
from Nottingham, to come on approval.
The fates were kinder to him, mas
much as he arrived on fine warm
day; and Nebuchadnezzar, driven BY
George-the only person who can make
him go-came home in his best style.
Uncle, who hates monotony, had this
time arranged quite different plan OF
campaign.
Tea was sent In for them in the
study and Constance Though for that
matter all of us. but Constance espe-
cially), for obvious reasons was kept
out of the way as much as possible.
However. we CLEANED good deal
about Mr.. Robin from George, who had
not wasted the opportunities afforded
by ten miles drive.
Hes bounder," said George, land
can't possibly do. His chief reason for
replying to the advertisement was that
he might live in rectory."
Mother = poor mother said she
hoped he had been vaccinated and
wished she had not given him the best
spare room.
The atmosphere seemed charged
with possibilities, and we wondered
how long Uncle Bertram would keen
him bottled up in the study. After a
time our patience and curiosity were
relieved, fer when uncle came to us I
saw by his face that the mans fate
was decreed; and although we were
sorry for him at first, all pity left us
when, at the evening meal, he said: IL
wonder If | might have a drop of
Trish'?" Visions of temperance meet
ings came to our minds, and we kicked
each other under the table. There is
nothing more to chronicle about Mr..
Robin. He, too, left by the early morn
ing train, after squeezing Constance's
hand.
wonder Nebuchadnezzar didn't
strike at the number of journeys he
made to and from the station during