The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1906-03-07

Rastus-IIow do you like 20 melon!
Ephraim-On de cob.-Puck.
How will you estimate the carrying
capacity of your flying machine?"
"By the amount of stock it will float"
answered the practical inventor
Washington Star.
why are you going abroad to live"
Because" answered the CRATER, II
am convinced that profits are some
times without honor in their own
country. Washington Star.
81 make chum of my father" II
could never do that with mine"
wouldn't he like it?" "He might.
but ma wouldn't. I'm usually out till
after midnight. Post.
Ethel (from the motor)-What is
the trouble, Harry. Harry tfrom be-
meath iD-Im afraid the boilers burnt
out. Ethel-Well, never mind. 1t
doesn't show, doe@ 't'-New Yorker.
II love my work because starved
for it," said the artist, dramatically.
well, love mine because | starved
before l got it," was her companions
inartistic reply.-Detroit Free Press.
Genius and insanity frequently go
together, you know" Yes" replied
the historical novelist, I'VE can easily
prove that. My wife is insanely
jealous of me-" - Chicago Record
Herald.
"It's remarkable how easily these
idle rumors gain currency" Yes;
and it's still more remarkable how
some idle stock-market rumors enable
others to gain currency. "-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
Mrs. Shopps-I see Cutt & Slashem
are advertising some lovely house
gowns at a bargain. Shops - Well,
our house doesn't need a gown. but
it ought to have coat of paint
Chicago News
Il haven't seen your cashier for
several days" No, he's gone out of
town" Gone for a rest, / suppose"
1--WE haven't found out yet whether
he's gone for rest or to escape it,
Philadelphia Record.
What we want" remarked the
man wh3 comments on things. ''is re-
FORM" Yes" said Senator Badger.
land after you get it you're always
clamoring for the good old days
Milwaukee Sentinel
"Hello," the facetious wagon
tongue called to the wheel. you look
tired" Yes" retorted the wheel.
many wheel has become tired be-
cause a waggin' tongue spoke too
much. h.'-Philadelphia Ledger
You say you think your girl is go
ing back on you? What leads you to
such a supposition - did she snub
you?" mo, but she called her little
sister into the parlor last night and
had her recite to me"-Houston Post
You wouldn't sell your vote, would
you?' No, sub" answered Mr. Eras-
tus Pinkley. But ii gemmen what's
runnin' foh Office was 10 give me two
dollahs, common gratitude would
make me vote for him. m."-Washington
Star.
Ethel's mother was very i'll and, call
ing the little miss to her bedside, she
said: Ethel, what would you do IL
should dle?" oh" answered Ethel,
who did not realize the gravity of the
situation, 81 s'pose I'd have to spank
myself. Chicago News.
Lady Fitznoodle "a bride. reading
account of her wedding)-I wish they'd
invent a new expression. It's always
the "blushing BRIDE" Miss Candor-
Well, when you consider what sort of
husbands some American girls marry
you can't wonder at them blushing.-
Life.
With one look of Goodman Con-
rong's tattered garments the woman OF
the house slammed the door in his
face, Clothes may not make the
man." he soliloquized, as he turned
away and started for the next house,
but they sort O. seem to classify
him. Chicago Tribune.