The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-11-04
AS IT, CARBUNCLES.
Not the Precious stone OF That Name. bus
The Sort Even the Poor Can Have.

tne SORT Even the fOOF IAN nave.
"A ~carbuncle. said a man of an all over
weary aspect. sis supposed to belong to the
boil family, but 1t is to the ordinary plain
adult boil as a complete demonstration Of
the binomial theorem is TO K + y.
Job had boils.' he vent on, and was
patient. but it is not set forth in the Scrip
ture or in any secular work, nor is il VEN
tured in the widest fiction. that any man
| ever had a carbuncle and was patient-ex-
cept as he was a doctors patient. We are
told that the dogs came n licked the boils
Of Job; if Job had had c~arbuncles he would
have licked the dogs.
"A Carbuncle, continued the man with a
seriously scientific look. lis n sort Of in
vested boil-a boil over. so to speak. A
boil If left to itself will cure itself by ma
turing and eventually disappearing. but a
~carbuncle. instead Of coming to a head,
keeps burrowing deeper and deeper, and it
natures about the time your old fashioned
life insurance policy natures.
Now. this little pet, said the man, look
ing at n bulge near the elbow Of his left coat
sleeve, lis a healthy carbuncle in the prime
OF its existence. You needn't feel of the
back Of your necks, gentlemen. Whenever
two or three or more persons are gathered
NOECNhDA hhA OAV VI NbCih Hd1H SuIbuII(At.
half the others begin to feel for the scars
o n the back of their necks and get ready
to butt in with their experiences.
But they have studied their carbuncles
only darkly with a hand glass. To know a
carbuncle intimately-that is, anywhere
nearly as we'll as the carbuncle knows you
1T SHOULD % in a location accessible to the
eye; on an elbow, for instance.
"One OF Jobs successors in the boil line
remarked humOrously that the best place
TO have a boil is on some other fellow: but
no man with a carbuncle could be SO in
human a. to wish it on any one other fellow.
though he might wish it could be iyided
up bet ween ten or a dozen robust men.
This little pet" resumed the man at the
point where he had interrupted himself,
-has the clear pedigree. was monkeying
with a small boat on the shore of the lower
bay two weeks ago, bare armed, when a
striped winged fly with prismatic colored
e lighted on this elbow and got in his
work before l saw him.
i made a slap at him and got him. l
wish l had missed him, for he left his pro-
boscis or whatever IL should be called in
my arm; hence this %carbunole. This is
only one OF the ways OF getting a carbuncle,
but there are more ways Of getting them than
Of getting in love.
But said the man, Frightening up,
even c~aTbuncles have their uses. When
this one made its appearance | went around
20 the drug stores and bought various anti
infammatory preparations that | thought
could he more tidily used than fiaxseed
poultices and from stud wing the Greek
names OF these Ihay g so my interest
In the Greek language and literature that
l am now killing time by going over the
scanning Of the 'PrometheVs' OF EsohvIus.
But when the thing had declared itself
as a sure enough carbuncle and claimed
the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of
happiness | had to resort TO the time hnu-
ored 6axseed pOultices as mother used to
make them.
There Is one point. however" said the
man. hard expressio on coming over his face.
(which ! cannot set forth too STRONGLY, n
that Is that no man who lives IN n Hat should
have a ~carbuncle. Now the fiat 1 live in
has a hall in which are variou angular pro-
tut FRANCES caused by bedrooms. IOudors
and q fathroom jutttng intO .; ana such q
hall In no place for "A man with n Carbuncle
on his eli ow To promenade in az night. Car-
buncles require spacious apartments and
magnificent distances"
Here the man arose and said that he saw
his car coming. But he let IL 80 by, saying:
mo. that Ia not mn car. IL Is a church
fair car from Borough Park, and aS much
as Dove children, / don't like to have them
play horse ON my carbuncle. I'll walk on
fora while.-