davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22

In hotel in Washington a certain
congressman from the west had hnr-
ried to the clerk g counter. He had
just ten minutes in which to pay his
bill, reach the railway station and
board his train.
When he had transacted his business
with the clerk and had turned to dash
out Of the door, it suddenly occurred to
him that he had forgotten something.
" Here, boy. - he shouted to a diminu-
to room No. 4S and see whether 7 have
left a box on the bureau. But be
quick, as have only five minutes.''
The boy rushed up the stairs. In two
or three minutes he returned. out of
breath. eyes, sah,'' he painted, fyou
left it, >sah!' ..~.. .- &C. j.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
: No Demi-tasse for Him.

Several years ago Thomas Reed went
to Ohio. On his journey out there he
went into little railway station to
have dinner. At the end of the order
The waiter stared, "What's thatf"
he said.
ga small cup of coffee,'' Mr.. Reed
answered. GA small cup of coffee
very black-see that it is good coffee,
please. Demi-tasse means half cup.i'
cav e 'wan,' said the waiter. IT
ain It a-goin to bring you no half cup.
We don't sell nothing less than cents
here.' R. D. G.
jamestown, N. D. ..- 80
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
A Summing Story.

Work among the poor and needy,
often called summing has it's hum
orous side as: well as pathetic, and is
occasionally better understood than ap-
preciated. .E ssgss5s
A wealthy LADY, much given to visit.
ing and assisting the poor, was one day
visiting a woman IN whom she sought
to take an interest and assist if need
be. -s.+' ..s-@ -
After inquiring into the general wei
fare Of the family, financial and other
she finally arose to depart with the re.
mark that she would call again some
time, to which the woman gave cor
dial assent and then said: "And I IN
sure, ma am, I IN sorry I can't be
after returnin your call, but m that
busy, ma 'am. I don It have any time te
do any slumnlin meself.'
Grace Edwards.
2O5 Twelfth avenue NE .---.s-.s- %. .
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
American Matches in Scotland.

A killed Highlander was in the habit
of walking to the nearest town-six
miles off-for his provisions. Having
on one occasion purchased some
matches, he found on his return home
that they were useless. On his next
visit to town. he took them back and
complained to the grocer's 8 assistan
that they would not light.
The latter, taking. one, drew it in
American fashion across his neither
garments, and the match lit. But this
demonstration, instead Of satisfying the
Highlander, angered him the more.
- And wha," he&exclaimed, "is going
matches on your breeksa"
~+-.. II Helen Clarendon.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22

building, and after the first day q work
was over he approached the foreman
and asked him If he could use another
man on the job;
i i The foreman said he could, kprovid-
ing he was good, hard worker.
8 s Shure, that he is, sur. He's bet.
ter mon at workin thin Oi am meself. 8
Who is he7, asked the foreman.
Me BROTHER replied the young
tCelt, and the following day the two
brothers appeared and the new man
proved satisfactory.
That night, after the whistle blew,
the young Irishman again accosted the
foreman and asked him if he could use
another man.
g Who is this oneq''
Ne father answered the man.. 81
..Oh! but he's too old for this hard
work, amt he7D said the foreman.
"Old, did ye say9 He's past 60
but he kin do more work than me an
ME brother put together
All right, replied the foreman;
.send him around tomorrow, and YOU
and your brother can stay at home.
Spring Park, MINI. r. r. 81.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
Prizes for stories printed on this
paue are awarded as Indicated = q.

Prizes for stories printed on this
page are awarded as Indicated. ~:
For the coming week T h eJ our
n a again offers S.. first prize; IS
second prize, and So, third prize, for
"the best story you ever heard" "
1t Is not required that stories be
original, but new and good stories,
retold In the writer's own words,
will be considered In the competition.
Write only on one aide of the paper,
giving name and address with each
story. Specify II you want your
Initials used as signature. Do not
send clippings or enclose stamps, as
manuscripts Will not be, returned.
Stories should not exceed 300 words,
and should be of humorous nature.
Omit lntroductions, and be brief.
Checks will be sent to prize winners.
Write name and address plainly on
each story you send.
Address, Best Story Editor, Jour.
nal, Minneapolis. M!nn. ... .
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
THIRD PRIZE
This Story Gets So.
An Ethiopian Rull.

Little 12-year-old Rastus johnson
was strolling along the road, evidently
at peace with himself and the world,
and in not much of hurry. AS he
seemed to be going nowhere in particu-
lar, a smart bystander,. thinking to
have :, some g fun with with the little darky,
going.'
"Ain't gwine nowhar,' Rastus re-
piled. 'se done been where Use
gwine.' II. Fl. R.
Rushmore, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
chine. It makes a good Christmas pres

chine. It makes a good Christmas pres
ent. -
81 think I don't care to see it. =
replied Mr.. Smith
You are not interested in talking
81 can't say that, either. But Z
have one already. Talks all day long.
Never. needs winding up. Never runs
DOWN. so
At this moment a high pitched voice
from somebody at the top Of the stair
way broke into the conversation SIT
isn't sol' exclaimed the person with
the high-pitched voice. It isn't so!
But l We got a growing machine that
runs whenever it's in the house. =.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
She Wasn't Sure.

Some years AGO Campbellite preach
er was making trip on horseback thru
Missouri, and, coming to small hut
In the woods, asked the woman who
came to the door if there were any
Campbellites in these parts.
."Well, I'm not sure, but my old
terday. The hide is hangin' back Of
the house now. You might go round
and see; it might be one of them air
critters h. NJ.
Luverne, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
Seemed Familiar.

1T must have been frightful, said
Mrs. Bossim to her husband, who was
in the earthquake at San Francisco.
Tell me what was your first thought
when you awakened in your room at
the hotel and heard the alarm
$40 Ny first thought was Of you. an
sswered Mr.. 3Bossim. s31 .s..
ID |" How .noble!o
8 es, first thing I knew q vase off
the mantel caught me on. the ear; then
a chair whirled in my direction, and
Swhen I jumped to the middle of the
room, four or five books and framed
picture struck me all at ,sonce.'
Even after saying that he affected
to wonder what made her so angry for
the remainder Of the evening.
1121 Plymouth. -Bertel Neuling.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
Most There.

During McClellan's march up the
peninsula, a, tall Vermonter got sepa-
rated from his regiment and was
overtake it.
He came to a crossing and was puz-
zled which road to take, but native
came along and the soldier inquired:
"Where does this road lead to9''
"To hell,' answered the surly south
erner.
"Waal,' drawled the green mountain
boy, "iudging by the lay o. the land
I IN most there" II. M. =
Luyerne, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
Building Made Easy.

A story is told of colored congrega-
tion who thought they needed a new
church, so the church board held a
meeting and decided to, adopt the fol
Ono. Resolved that we build a
new church. ...I&.., ..... ..S..g*
"No. 2-Resolved that we build the
new church where the old church now
stands. ,- .g1~:.:.. = e, ' = :
No. 3-Resolved. that we build the
new church out Of the material in the
old church. ..<.,*.< = < =, ( 3: :
"No. 4-Resolved, that we use the old
church until the new q church. is COM
pleted.' SLED 80 "A. a..
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
The 1ongworths' Trunks.

Whitelaw Reid, the American am
bassador to Great Britain, lately left
FOR his country place with his wife and
guests, the Longworths.
The Reds English footman was
sent to the railroad station for the
baggage.
Two, trunks Of the Longworths' were
mixed with somebody else g.
A group Of porters were standing
around some trunks, and to these the
footman said: We'll, my good fel-
lows, low habout them luggage9,
">What luggage,7o grumbled the
porters.
"Why, two Hamerican trunks as
black as hink, said the servant.
What was they marked9' asked
the porters.
"Fhey was marked with hell" !" an
swered the footman.
III 'ellq' gasped the shocked por.
ters.
"Oh, h ell for Longworth." shouted
the man servant.
They found the trunks. F. r.
st. Cloud, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
The Soft Answer

sWhat did you do, James, when Ed
ward called you a iaTY" asked the
teacher.
81 remembered what you said, that
"a soft answer turneth away wrath, -
replied James.
stGood boy. What soft answer did
you make7o queried the interested
teacher.
"Why, I hit him with rotten to-
mato," said James.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
SECOND PRIZE
This Story Gets SO.
Whv He Saw Him.

Some years ago Phillips Brooks was
recovering from an illness and was de-
nying himself to all visitors when Rob-
ert Ingersoll called. The bishop re-
ceived him at once. 81 appreciate this
very much,' said Mr.. Ingersoll; "but
why do you see me when you deny your
self to your friends?'
Well, you see,' said the bishop,
81 feel confident of seeing my friends
in the next world, but this may be my
last chance of seeing you. T.,
j. G.. B.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
The Scotch of It.

A Scotch lady once said to her gar
dener: Thomas, you should get mar
ried. You have nice house. and now
you need a nice wife to. complete it,
You know the first gardener that ever
lived had a wife" e. .
"Quite rect, missus,'' said Tammas;
"quite rect, but be didno keep his jcb
lang after he got the wife. = T IL. b. q
EmeradO NJ D. AEM 80 81 81 ~ .
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
He Didn't Need One.

Mr. Smith was just on the point Of
leaving his house for his place of busi-
ness downtown, when there came a
ring at the front doorbell. He opened
the door. A canvasser stood outside.
II beg your pardon said the can
yasser, Hbut I'd like to show YOU q
sample of our improved talking ma
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
The American Abroad.

AS steamer was leaving the harbor
of Athens a well l-dressed young. passen-
ger approached the captain and. point
ing to the distant hills, inquired:
9sWhat is that white stuff on the
hills, captaine' !,
ssfhat is snow, madam answered
HIs it really9' remarked the lady.
uI thought SO myself, but a gentleman
has Just told me it was Greece
Miss Annie G. Elfstrum.
Willmar, MINI. sa.sg@
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
THE MINNEAPOLIS JOURNAL,

tsortment OF neckties, and while she was
making her selection the clerk ven
tured some commonplace remark which
tledJthe woman toSexplainl that she was
a widow with but little money and
with several small children to support.
nMy husband a+.s she said ct last,
AWell, said the clerk, deeply moved,
that helps some. 8
Ada, MINI Helen Andrews.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
Wonderful New York

An elderly German farmer who had
come to New York on an excursion, was
walking leisurely down the street, fill
ing his pipe, and had just replaced his
tobaco-pouch in his pocket, when a
small boy came running up to. him.
$ Matches, sir9 ,, said he.
The farmer took number Of match
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
Bad Either Way.

"How very sad Miss Forlorn looks, -
remarked the guest sympathetlcally;
"Yes, poor thing" replied the hos
tess, "Eshe was disappointed IN love.
"And who is that awfully sour1ooh-
ing woman9' o,
7sOh. that is Mrs. Ketcham. She was
disappointed in marriage" +" II. M.
Luverne, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
Leadeth Me to Saltwater.

A Sunday school teacher had been
psalm. After several weeks labor she
called for anyone to repeat it from
memory. One eager boy began:
tThe Lord is my Shepherd, I shall
not want. He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures. He leadeth me to
Saltwater H. B. H.
Willmar. MINI,
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22

es, placed them in his vest pocket, and
passed on, saying to himself as he
struck match HOch, vat a wonderful
place is New York! - -C. J.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
SuHiciency.

Medical Student-Wha did you op-
crate on that man for? &
Eminent SurgeonFive hundred dol
lars. " s{s5 - -. B s,. $. $3.50
. IT mean what did he havefv *S
"Five hundred dollars. = y. Y
I'M. e. O.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
English credulity Concerning America

The Englishman s slowness in seeing
q Joke is proverbial and is well illus
trated by the following story.
An American, at banquet in Lon
don, was once relating few OF his ex.
describing his retiring for the night at
a certain hotel, he casually remarked
with twinkle in his eye, that he
took out his rented teeth and left them
on the dresser t#
When he was thru telling his story,
an Englishman little way down the
table spoke up and asked, raising his
voice at the close of his question as En-.
DO they rent teeth in Amerioaq
Akeley. MINI. IT. N. S. !.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
Masculine obtuseness.

When Mrs. Nicholas Longworth was
a little girl she uttered a complaint
that must surely find an echo in the
heart Of every wilful lawbreaker whose
case has fallen into the hands Of our
uncompromising president.
quiring for Mrs. Roosevelt, who was
i'll, and Alice answered plaintively:
nShe ism It much better vet, and this
makes it pretty hard. Papa stays at
home most, all the time, and it g dread
fully inconvenient.
why, how is thatg"
7 uOh, don It you seeq He doesn u un-
uusstanb me- to Be- i1 home at 4, and / get there
at half past, she understands; but when
papa says 4 and / get there. at even
quarter past-well, he doesn't under.
stand at all. = George Moline.
Gibbon, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22

overplayed Himself.
a laborer during the construction Of a
The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-22
The BeIlboy

205 Twelfth avenue NE. 80
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1906-03-16
The Negro Spriggs.

The grand jury heard more evidence
in New York Tuesday against Robert II.
Spriggs End Sallie Bennett, keepers OF
negro drns 10 which white women have
been Kept prisoners One of the wit
nesses was ssid to be Therera Austin, a
white woman rescued from one OF the
dens, who gave information about two
white women who nad been kept prison
ers with Der and had died after being
beaten for attempting to escape. The
bodies of two women, it Is said, were
buried in negro cemetery by a negro
undertaken on death certificates issued
by a negro doctor Testimony was given
to the grand jury Tuesday, it is supposed,
ta show lba, 10th Spr ggs and the Bennett
woman had served trms of imPrison-
ment for stabbing persons. Such infor-
nation has been in the District Attor-
news possession. In the case OF the
Bennett woman il WIS asceTtsined that
she served a term for stabbing another
woman, named Hamilton, in a den in
Blocker street, in 1888, about the time
Spriggs legained liberty after serving a
term ia Sing Sing District Attorney
Garvao has been Informed that Sprlggs
was restored TO citizenship by a pardon
from Governor Roosevelt.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1906-03-16
Saws She was rOrced to EIOpe.

A woman giving her name rs Mrs.
Nora Smith, nee Conner, OF Eighteenth
and Moore streets, Philadelphia, appeal
ed to Police Lieut. Morhiser, of the
Southern station, Baltimore, Yesterday
afternoon, to arrange for her transporta-
ton back to Philadelphia. She stated,
between sobs, that she had been forced
at the point OF pistol TO run away with
A married man to Baltimore last Mon
day. and that he had deserted her and
left her without any money or means to
return home. The woman said that she
had known the man ever since she was
sixteen years Of age. He left Phiadel-
phia. she said, and went to Baltimore to
work for the Baltimore and Ohio Rail-
road. She had since married and Is the
mother Of two children. Mrs. smith
said that the man called ct her home
Monday andrsuggested that she come to
Ballimore with him. She replied that
she was married and had two children
20 look ont for, and, also, that she
thought he was married. Later, she
SAYS, he forced Ger to accompany him
through threats OF shooting her. She
WAS instructed to make her appeal to
the mayor.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1906-03-16
rhe Adjournment.

The legislature of 1906 is now but a
memorv IT dissolved into an empty
no,b;,gness some time about 2:SO
o'clock Yesterday afternoon, after a
;o;nt committee had called on Governor
Svansou and notified him that the Cen
e,oI Assembly bad completed its lsbors,
mics. he had some further communl-
cat;on 10 make. This COMMITTEES con-
sisted Of Senators Herman 'ar'eu,
Macbep Mann and Anderson, and
Delegate Lee, Gaines, Puiliam, ho"le
and Gill.
Senator Harmsn acted as spokesman
and made formal speech convesing
tho message OF the Legislature, alter
which the executive answered in The
same manner. Then everybody relaxed.
After the message of the executive had
been returned to the House all hands
present prepared to "di-solve." Thus
ended the session.
When the House was called to order
Yesterday a joint resolution was offered
BIZ Mr.. ChurcbmsD, calling upon The
committee which investigated the alleged
tamperiDg with bills to supply the clerks
of the House and Senate each with I
COPY OF the evidence and findings, to be
entered in The records Of the General
Assembly. The resolution was adopted.
Il is safe to predict that the report will
pronounce the stories OF attempted brib-
cry aud improper procedure unfounded.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1906-03-16
--...vrIUau,
War on Households.

A large delegation in the interest OF
restricting the liquor traffic in the VI
cinity of Fort Washington, Piscataway
district. Prince Georges county, Md,
yiaited Annapolis few days ago.
Among the delegation was Capt. Rlsler
w. Springer, chaplain, Artillery Corps,
u. s. A, stationed at Fort Washington,
who presented a number of petitions
signed by officers and non 'commissloned
officers in the military service at the
post in favor Of the legislation requested.
These petitions ask that "houseboaV
dives be prohibited 1t is stated that
"Fort Washington is surrounded on
three sides by water and on all sldes
efforts are made by lawless parties to
debauch the soldiers and profit them
selves financially by means OF low dives
built on fat boats. The post comman-
der has. at times, been compelled to
place extra guards to keep soldiers from
going to these places. The state OF
MARYLAND owns the Potomac river to
low-water mark on the Virginia side.
inst below Alexandria there was a
houseboat of unusually infamous repuia-
lion. which was driven out OF Virginia
waters and out OF the waters OF the DIS
trjet of Columbia. Very recently this
boat has moved down into our neighbor-
hood" Che petition also asks that a
tbree.mile limit from Fort Washington
be established.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1906-03-16
New Line for Southern.

II is understood that the Southern
Railway, which has for sometime been
surveying for a new line through
Lynchburg, in order that the heavy
freight trains and few fast passenger
trains may not have to pass through the
center of the business section, has de-
cided upon route which begins at
Winesap. four miles north of Lynch
burg, crosses James river near the
Woman's College, traverses the suburb
of Riyermont, crosses the Norfolk aud
Western main line at the Alters tun.
mel and parallels the Lynchburg and
Durham division to point two miles west
of the Uuion depot, where it rejoins
the main line.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1906-03-16

The baseball team Of the Episcopal
High School has so far arranged twelve
games for the season. All the games
will be played on the school grounds,
except one game with Woodbury.
Forest and one with Jacob Tome
Institute. The schedule follows
March 24-BIiss Electrical School.
March Sl-Rock Hill.
April Locust l'ale.
Aprl fredericksburg College.
April iS-Miller School.
April 21-Western High School
April Woodberry Forest (a'
WoOdberry)
Nav 2 or 9-Central High School.
Nav l2-Batimore City College.
Nav l9-Techuical High School
Nav 2S-GeOrgetOwn Prep,
Nav 26-Jacob Tome Institute (a'
Jacob Tome).
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1906-03-16
schuahls Resort in Ruins

Richmond Beach, the finest summer resort
on Staten Island. which was made more
beautiful by 100000 expenditure of Chas
NJ. Schwab, who announced that he would
turn it over to charity, is a ruin today. II IS
said it has been dropped by the former .teel
trust head through quarrel he had with a
charitable society, to which the, place was 70
have been presented, and the elements. have
worked their own havoc. The magnificent
two-mile stretch of beach has become spolleu
through neglect and refuse lines its shores !;
the pretty lawns and flower beds can hardly
be distinguished. so over-run are they with
weeds. and the big buildings, erected for the
accommodation of 1900 children, are rapidly
becoming ruins. Mr.. Schwab has erected
around the entire area of the resort high
steel picket fence. A lone Waterman prevents
anyone entering the grounds.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1906-03-16
Lightship in Trouble.

Newport, r, J., March l6.- With her boil
er tubes in trouble, her wireless topmast In a
had condition and one Of her crew insane,
life ON hoard lightship No. &C, on Nantucket
South Shoal. has not been particularly pleas
ant since she relieved No II a week ago. The
next day the southern storm carried away The
wireless topmo.t of the ship, and on Sunday It
was discovered that several other boiler tubes
were leaking. but her engine room was able
to keep up Steam Yesterday the strain OF
constant tossing proved too much for John
Santos, one of the crew, aud he became in'
sane. The light house tender AISlea IS eI ,;
pected at the station with stores and VIII
nrobably take of the afflicted man.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1906-03-16
Fire at Bristol.

Bristol was visited by fire early yes
terday morning, entailing total loss OF
about $4,000, with less than S2' 900
insurance. The plant of the J. Wilkin-
son Lumber Company was totally de-
stroyed, together with large quantity
of lumber, manufactured articles, ma
chinery, &c. This company's loss IS
s65, 900, with only $4,000 insurance.
Adams Bros. & Co., dealers in building
material, lost portion of one OF their
buildings and a large quantity of materl'
al. Their loss is about $l2, 900, and Is
covered by insurance. Nine freight cars,
a part of them loaded with finished ma"
terial from the Wilkinson plant, were
included in the loss. The volunteer
firemen were powerless TO fight the
flames. The fire originated in the boiler
room of the Wilkinson plant. Mr.. VIII
kinson, the principal owner of the Will
kinson plant, is in Europe.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1906-03-16
Personal.

Rev. DR.. A. S. Lloyd is the guest OF
Rev. DR.. S. A. Wallis, on Seminary
Hill. Last night he addressed the stu,
dents of the Theological Seminary and
tonight will speak before the boys OF the
Episcopal High School. i,
State Senator Machen has returned
from his legislative duties at Richmond,
and Is receiving the congratulations of
his many friends.
Nr. J. Bred Birrell, one OF the clerks
of the House of Delegates, has returned
from Richmond.
Mr.. John Lichford, of Alexandria, is
in the city on a visit TO Mr.. 5. L. Kirby,
of Darlington. Lynchbarg News.
Mrs. Belle Almond, of Lynchburg,
is visiting her aunt, Mrs. DIR. Fisher, at
No. 10 south Columbus street.