The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-09-24
.PARLEY P,'S FUTURE
DISCUSSED BY Wise GUY
Does Not Know Just Where
County Official and He
Will Rally.

t'Say," said the Wise Guy. as he
caressed frothy tub of suds, do you
suppose them Americans mean all they
say in their platform3 If they do, 1T s
me an Farley p. TO the cobwebbed
dungeon of political Oblivion. Here s.
the situation; The Republican party
has kicked us out, so. we can Z go back
to them; there amt no Democratic
party left to go to, an now you fellers
comes along an takes an unfair adj
vantage of us by declarin' that you
don u want nothin but clean-mindcd
an law-abidin' citizens to rally to
your banner It amt right, man. 1t s
a direct blow at the rights o me an
Farley p. as free an independent raj
lyers. How in tho devil can we rally
when we ain t got no banner TO rally
tos The unthinkin villain who penned
them lines about clean minded au law
abidin' citizens never knowed what 1T
means TO be a wanderin wait with no
where to go, or else he was a-dreamn
he was a playwright a-castin' me an
Parley Z. for the role o The Two Or
phans
"Yep, it bad, it's bad,' went on
the Wise Guy, dolefully, ''but what can
you expect from serene an compla-
cent yap who ain t never In the same
frame o mind twice In the same day,
to do nor how he s a-goin' to do 1t,
who dom never know what he wants
nor how TO 90 after it when me an
Willard tells him, who never yet did
know where he was at today or IS
a goin' TO be at tomorrow? His whole
record has been one lone, uninterrupted
string % bad breaks. | told him last
night that if. by any accident, he
should catch himself doiD' something
I..1' Il a.
down am yell for the police.
willard Don't Feel Sore.
"Willard don e feel as sore about
that clean minded an lawabidin' re-
uuirement in the American platform as
me an Farley p. do, He told both of
us that, if we could get before the
proper court, he Could easily prove that
the County Attorney was clean-minded,
by reason of the fact that there was
nothin whatever IL his mind, and as
for bein' law abidin', the fact that he
is allowed to run at large would be
taken as a presumption in his favor
Willard is q corker on them technical
tiles "A properly constituted court,
such as / might, but won't MENTION
said he, would hold that Farley P.
ain { In no way responsible for the
crimes of Joseph T. an Brig. Roberts
an Seymore Young an Penrose an
the rest % the gang. just the fact
permitted these law breakers to 20 un-
punished wouldn t (by such court as
have limited at) be sufficient 10 JUS
tify the court in designatin' Farley ?.
or his First Assistant), a criminal. So,
If Parley thinks il II do him any good
with the Americans to have regularly
constituted court announce from the
bench that he ain t real out-and-out
criminal, such as the fugitive HE
rarchs, why, l believe l can handle it
for him
Was a Promisin' Boy.
"It may sound strange to you, con
cluded the Wise Guy, surreptitiously
possessing himself of pretzel, but
feel pang at my heart as ] view the
remains of poor ole Farley p He was
q promisin' boy. He could read an
write an cipher when Just sturnin'
thirteen. Nobody know d better n him
how to yoke up a brace o steers. As
he growed older his folks had a consul
tation with the schoolmaster and de-
cided their offspring was bornd poet.
This idea grew out of the fact that he
once traded pair o skates TO a trav-
elm peddler for copy o. Reuben 8
Ready Rhymster and in g single day
turned out several beautiful lyric gems
|.No man can tell where this soarin
songster would finally have lighted if
it hadn d been for a corpse-visaged
missionary who came along an moulded
him into human checker, to be played
with and showed about by Smith,
Smoot, Penrose ct al, until they finally
pushed him off the board an kicked
him into dark corner. 'Scuse these
here tears 1 can't help 'em. It's pit
iful. It's tough. It's-it's hell. "