davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27
Only Thinks So.

"Does that young Featherhead play
poker?" asked Robinson of a mutual
acquaintance.
"No." was the reply. 'but he thinks
that he does, and we are careful not to
sndeceive him."-Cincinnati Tribune.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27
Doesn't Annoy Them.

"Women." shouted the female lee
turer, ''are classed by this great and
much praised government with Indians
and idiots! What do you think of thatT'
Hadn't heard the Indians or idiots
complaining" growled the crusty old
bachelor In the back row.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27
Rsgweed.

w
Whoever ii was that invented rag
weed might have been In better bust
ness, for the people who are doing such
an indifferent job of lnhabiting the
earth could get along very nicely with
out it.
1t is charged that it is ragweed that
causes sufferers to play ragtime on the
b%anGanna, as that pleasant little d.
version known rs hay fever Is attrib-
uted to 1t. It's pollen. instead Of stay
Ing home and trying TO anuse the rag
weed children. goes chasing about the
land, irritating the nostrils Of people
who pay their taxes and contribute to
every worthy cause.
We may hope that some day Mr..
Burbank, who makes the little rad
ishes speak pieces and trains the tur-
nip to turn over, will succeed In max
Ing the ragweed to resemble altar of
roses. Till then we can only suffer in
silence, ~punctuated by sneezes.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27
Takes Away the Charm

Though decorations to the floor
May be high priced and ut,
You can't admire the carpet
When you are called on II.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27
No Time For Il.

Brown Is such a SLOUGH. l wonder
he wouldn't fix himself up a little"
"He can't; he's too busy being sup
ported by his wife"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27
A Close Shave.

"He laid the foundation to his i'm.
mense wealth by shaving himself"
"His face was his fortune then"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27
Like Him.

"You ought to give him credit for
good intentions anyway"
'If I were to he would want me to
carry them out for him and pay him
for It,"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27
Took No Chances.

'"The Jones family is In mourning for
q pet dog they have lost"
"Why don't they advertise for it?"
Ellis wife hadn't thought Of 1t, and
Jones is afraid some one might read
It and return the dog"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27

The investigating period follows hard
upon the investing period.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27

The age of omanc varies from four
teen to twenty-five.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27
Humor ane Philosophy
BY DUNCAN NJ. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Is not conducive to the development of
character.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27

II would keep some people busy to
determine which is their busy day.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27
Pick Of the Jobs.

Pick Of the Jobs.
If we could draw wages for loafng.
How dandy and fine 1t would be:
Just sitting around in a rocker
Or filling an ample ~settee;
Just hanging around the cigar store
Or testing a hammock to see
II 1t were substantial or resting
Somewhere in the had Of q tree.
II work were only play
We'd spend the livelons day
In one sweet round Of pleasure.
No one should rob
Us of that Job;
Wed guard 1t as a treasure.
We'd think at last
Our lives were cast
In something to our measure.
How cheerfully down In the morning
We'd go at the stroke Of the clock
II part Of our task were to saunter
At leisurely pace round the block!
We never would strike or grow sulky,
Our noble employers to shock
II we could draw wages for loaflng
To work we would cheerfuily flock.
For tasks like these
Would surely please
The most ~ungracious sinner
AS In the shade
With lemonade
He waited for his dinner.
And he would say
Ten times a day
This job is sure q winner.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27

Nothing delights a pesslmist SO much
as q run of bad luck.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27

Unless you were Solomon you would
DOT need the wisdom of Solomon.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27

Ragtime takes the rag off the bush
with the populace.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27

Counting a fiighty girl is about as
satisfactory as playing the races and
about as expensive.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27

The job that goes hunting the man
with a big salary in its fist is a dream.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27

In these de
generate days
matrimony al
frequently be
obtained at bar
gain rates.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-09-27

Right ought to
dominate mi ut,
but might has
the drag.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16

the driver viii be utterly lost TO view
And ali this is unnecessary unjust, un-
reasonable. and unlawful. and simply
aothing but the result OF popular Dreju-
dce-prejudice caused in many instances
by few reckless drivers of the carly
days. and by horseInen. who are laboring
under the erroneous impression that roads
and streets were made exclusively for
horses
In my opinion. and 7 believe ! have
examined into the laws of the read about
Us thoroughly as anyone could, laws gov
erning the use of the road, unless made
applicable To all, are invalid The Efforts
~ the automobilists to correct evils in
legislation III ever The country have
merely been spasmodlc. and generally
made individually. but the time will come,
and IL Is not far distant, when the mass
OF auomobilists VIII rise ~ as one and
contribute tire money now paid for nnes
and crafts 10 a common defense. and
force the authorizes 10 enact reasonable
and just law applicable 10 al users of
the common highways"
The action of the Commissioners is
anXi0usly awaited by the operators and
owners of automobiles OF the city.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16
WELCOME TO DIR. GALE.
Korean Missionary Given Reception
az new York Avenue Church.

Rev Dr. James S Gale. D. D. who is
in Washington on a furlough from his
field of labor In Korea, was given a recep-
ton at the New York Avenue Presbyte-
rian Church last night
Il was markedly a Sunday-school gath
ering. Hon. II. B. +. mcfarland presid-
ing. and having on the platform with him
a number OF prominent Presbyterian
school workers. Rev. Wallace Radcliffe.
D. D.. pastor of the New York Avenue
Church, conducted the devotional exer-
cises. Hon. John NJ Harlan, Associ-
ate Justice Of the United States Supreme
Court, and Hon. stanton J. Peele. Chief
Justice Of the United States Court Of
Claims. Occupied seats on the platform
and paid glowing tributes TO DIT. Gale IN
their addresses.
DR.. Gales career has been a most inter-
eStiug and productive one, and is in large
measure familiar 90 Presbyterians in
Washington. He is one OF the most promi-
nent Americans in the Orient to-day, and
his work in Korea has received universal
recognition. He first went to that coun-
try in ISIS from the 7. n. c. a. Of To-
ronto University. He was one OF the first
missionaries In Korea and the first to
completely master the language. In 1885,
after more than three years work, he
completed the manuscript OF a dictionary
OF the Korean language. It contained
over 5000 Korean words and i, coo Chinese
characters. Il was published In Yoko-
hOma in 1887 and made e large book OF
some 100 pages. Later it became a stand
ard work and was used by the govern
ment
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16
Intercsf in setiIement.
CLAIM DISCRIMINATION.
AutoistS Say Proposed License Law
Is Unjust t0 Car Owners.

That the Automobiles Of the city scri-
ously object TO the recent reeommenda-
ton Of Secretary Woodward. of the au-
tomobnc board, that operators OF motor
vehicles he required to wear a metal
badge. bearing their license number, is
shown by an interview with W. s. pu-
VAL. president Of the Automobile Club,
yesterday.
In referring to The matter, Mr. DuyaH
said:
Personally. I should object very much
TO being tagged with a badge bearing q
number. Tor not only would il be con
tinuaI source Of annoyance. but would
be bound 10 lead to endless trouble with
the police. for one would be very apt to
occasionally forget the tag. and so forget
ting. the former would soon become a
nuisance. Aside from this. We don't
want 10 look like lot OF cab drivers or
park watChmeu.
why doesn't Mr.. Woodward go further
and suggest something real sensible, by
providing that the back and front OF
the automobile driver be provided with Il
large white sign bearing his license num-
bers in figures not less than one foot?
This would enable pedestrians 10 see him
either coming or going. and at "a distance
Of hali q block Make d Jockey OF him
ana let his coiOrs and numbers show.
'But seriously speaking. I ann Of the
opinion, first, that The Commissioners
would never accept such recommended
ton; and second. that If II were adopted.
ard its enforcement attempted. the courts
would pretty quickly declare st invalid.
"a would be about rs clear case OF
class legislation as could be found. Il
Is a difficult matter ID understand just
what IL Is that stirs these questions up
every little while. The automobiles are.
as a rule, following the regulations which
Congress in its wisdom enacted, and
the accidents from automobiiists that can
Toe traced 70 carelessnesss or their part
are Practically nothing.
The other suggestion made by Ar
Woodward 70 the effect that all automo-
biles should carry 4 metal sign which
should bear the words Licensed Fchi-
Gle" is apparently about as unnecessary
rs the suggestion We have Just discuss q.
The law provides that each vehicle must
be registered. and q sign having tie reg
istered number with the words i. <.
following must be attached to the vehl-
ela The number is what is relied upon
fer Identification purposes and that We al
ready have
THE laws Of the States Of both Vir-
ginia and Maryland require tags in front
ana behind. and these we must constant
y carry, IS every little run carries rs
into one or tie other Of these States. so
that these four. together with tie Dis
grict Of Columbia tag. makes a total Of
I've tags. IN addition to the numbers Oh
our lamps. required by the State q Mary
land. = few more tags and Signs ana
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16

Tie Colored Independent Benevolent
Protective order OF Elks, 81 the District
of Columbia and Alexandria. are making
9rraH gemeuts Tor a banquet to be given
in honor Of Dr. w i. Atkins, Of Hamp-
ton, Va, newly elected grand exalted
ruler, l. 3. T. O. Elks OF the world. and
Hon. j. Welfred Holmes, of Pittsburg
grand secretary, and other members Of
the committee on laws and TevisioRs. soon
to assemble in Washington. The banquet
VIII lee held in the True Reformers' Han.
Twelfth and Il streets northwest, Tues
day. October . The principal speakers
Of the evening wiz be the Register OF the
Treasury William T. Vernon and Justice
Robert H. Terrell. The committee on ar
engagements is composed Of l. Melandez
King. DIT. Harry J. Williams, John j. Car
ter, Thomas 7. Harper, Samuel T. Jones,
George T. Overton, y. 3. Rice. ". II.
Walker. and Robert Moore.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16
DREDGING CREWS SCARCE.
Oyster Boat Masters Have Trouble
Getting Hen This Season.

IL is reported from the lower Potomac
and Chesapeake Bay that masters OF
dfedgc boats engaged in the oyster busi-
ness. are having serious trouble obtain
Ing crews for the winters work. The tales
OF torture and suffering told by 'shans-
Laiad" men on oyster dredgcs in past
seasons and the stringent laws enacted
against this old practice last winter. have
had their effect ard drcdgc masters ind
IL impossible To obtain crews il is
stated that IL vas found necessary by
some Of them to install power engines TO
accomplish the work formerly done By
hand and sail
Yesterday marked tie opening Of TIE
dredging season. and from now on Il is
expected that the quality OF oysters
brought 10 market viii show marked inn
pToyemenL This is due To The fact that
the tOngers VINO have furnished the
entire supply up to this time, do not get
the best IN Tic beds
1t IS reported that n large number of
run boats We're on hand yesterday. some
OF them coming from as far north as
Boston. These run boats are the jObbers
in the oyster market. They obtain their
supply direct from the dredges In cargo
lots and take IL % market in the various
cities along the coast They make a big
prodt from the wholesalers and oyster
merchants
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16
DISTRICT WATER SUPPLY.
Gen. sIaeI,cnzIe WOuId Turn over
Management 90 Commissioners.

II Gen. Mackenzie. Chief Of Engineers
of tie army. has his way. the entire
management Of the water supply system
OF the District viii be turned over TO the
Commissioners Of the District of Co
lumbia- lie regards the present arrange
ment as unsatisfactory. The Engineer
Corps Of the army now runs the entire
conduit system, including the aqueduct
from Great Falls. the distributing receiv-
Ing. and Washington city reservoirs, and
the filtration plant. while the local gov
eminent controls merely the distribution
OF the water in the city after il leaves
the filtration reservoir
All this is set forth In the generals re-
port to the Secretary Of War. together
with his recommendation of the trans
fer
The previous effort to put the water
system under the complete control OF the
Commissioners was defeated. because il
was Incorporated in the bill before Con-
gress with a proposition TO give them con-
troi also OF the small parks and reserva-
lions. BY taking up the water matter by
itself il is believed the consent Of Con-
gress can be obtained
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16
BUSINESS MEN TALK BOOM"
Question Of Union of Washington
Trnde bodies Diseased.

At a meeting Of the board Of directors
OF the Business Mems Association, held
last night in Gudge Hall. several matters
were discussed with reference &c the
Greater Washington" movement, and ac-
ton taken with reference to the annual
meeting Of the association in November.
Mr.. oyster. president OF the association.
reported the results reached AZ the last
meeting Of tho joint committee Of the
three trade bodies.
Ross T. Andrews reported from the
committee on publicity, stating that his
committee deemed It important for the
association to work hard for the success
Of the 10000 club Mr. Andrews explained
that the intention OF this movement was
not to form a club at all, bat to invite
popular subscription OF 81 a member to
help along the Greater Washington
idea. The object he said. was to enlist
the press In the scheme. to furnish each
subscriber with Il certificate % member
ship and handsome button which would
identify him with the movement
The question OF a union OF the trade
bodies was discussed by the board. and,
while no action was taken. it was tho
sense OF the meeting taat somehow. out
OF tho present situation. a large and
strong trade organization should be form
Ell which would have the following. the
courage, and the money 70 carry forward
the trade and Industrial movement to frui-
ton
The October meeting OF the association
was fixed by vote for Friday evening.
October 19.
Louis =. Shoemaker was called upon to
report what he saw in the South while
with the Washington special train as the
representative Of the association. lie sum-
med up his conclusions BY saying that the
people of Virginia felt very friendly 10
Washington. and many Of them said they
would buy supplies here il the goods
could be furnished and the prices and
freight were satisfactory. IN other words
that Washington could have the trade Of
the South IL it would so out and take it.
Mr.. Andrews Joined the train where Mr.
Shoemaker left il and remained with it
until it reached Charlestown, ". Va. Mr.
Andrews cOTrOboTated what Mr.. ShOemI-
ker said, and declared that the boom
had acquired large proportions In the
minds OF the people OF Virginia already
and that by carefully nuTturing the feel
rs existing much benefit would be de-
rived from the Southern field
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16
TO CHANGE FREIGHT BILLING.
Two Railroads said TO Have Decided
20 Meet Demands.

II is understood the freight managers
Of the Pennsylvania and Southern rail
roads held a meeting yesterday to deter
mine the question of billing freight out
Of Washington to Southern points direct,
instead OF the double billing now in vogue.
1t Is also understood that the regulation,
whatever it be, viii 90 into effect on No
vember /, and that IL viii be made known
through official channels to the freight
committee OK the JobbeTs and Shippers
Association Members OF that committee
expect that the decision viii be favorable
to The merchants Of the city, as there
have been frequent expressions from rail-
road men to the effect that they would
treat Washington fairly along this line.
Undoubtedly the decision of the traffic
managers will be made known to the
Washington shippers within the next few
DAYS
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16
SPACE AT JAMESTOWN FAIR
Committee of Three Named to Can
vass City by Sections.
business Men Urged to Notify Those
In Charge OF Their Require
ments at the Exposition.

The committee on. space OF the joint
committee on the jamestown Exposition
project met at 1899 yesterday at the Of
fee Of D. ]. Kaufman 1908 and 1907 Penn
sylvania avenue.
The reports received from the various
members were most encouraging, show
ing that the business men Of the city
arc taking a most lively interest IN the
exposition, large number having al
ready signifed their intention to make
exhibits, and all OF them are very anx-
ious for further information, which the
committee will. in a few days, be able
TO furnish.
It was decided to divide the city up
into districts to be canvassed thorough
ly by each member. Ross p. Andrews
was assigned that section Of the city ~
ing east of Ninth street, from the river
TO the boundary. u. ]. Kaufman all west
Of Ninth street and east Of Fourteenth
street; J. II. Small, Jr., all west of -Four
toenth street. taking in West Washing
ton. II is earnestly requested that all
business men living in these sections viii
consult these gentlemen for informa-
ton as to space and so forth. giving full
particulars as TO their various require
ments
The committee will again meet IL AlF.
Kaufman's Office on Monday next. and
they propose 10 pusF the work vigorously
Forward. making report TO the meeting
Of The joint committee on Wednesday
evening next
The troiect viii be carried success
fully 20 frUlttion, and win be q very
valuable and important accessory 20 the
placing Of Washington in the front rank
OF comemrcial cities. IT Is for the bust
ness men TO respond heartily 10 the 'sail
for cooperation. having In view the ulti-
mate great benefit to the whole OF the
community. The committee is workin5
hard for this end. and viii cordially ap-
preciatc every effort made 20 heiD the
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16
WANTS FOWLS MOVED.
Physician says They Menace the
Health of Residents.

Dr. d. Vi. Mcpherson, of 1910 Fifteenth
street northwest. has again brought 20 the
attention Of the Commlssioners the prac-
tice Of keeping chickens In the residence
parts OF the city. ia support Of his argu-
ment that Tie maintenance Of chicken
farms" m thickly populated districts
brought about unhealthfUi conditions. be
cited examples from the ordinances OF a
number of the important cities Of The
country relating to the keeping Of fowls
within the city limits.
The Commissioners several months ago
decided there was no reason FOR an enact
ment regulating the keeping OF fowls in
the District
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16
WILL ENTERTAIN THE BLINp.
Musical and Literary Treats by Emil
nent Men and Women Arranged.

1fGAA lAEA ntk0 " NAeANAA tAa 49, -
Miss E. l. Ginen. directress Of the read
lng-room for the blind ut the Congress
sionaI Library, has arranged an attractiye
series Of readings and musicales TO be
given during the winter.
On Tuesdays ard Saturdays eminent lit
erary men Of Washington and the distiH-
guIshed visitors In that profession will
read some of their own efforts or some OF
those selected from the standard authors.
On Thursdays a musical programme will
be given.
On Thursday. October is. Miss C. L.
Grady and Percy Fawcett viii contribute
musical recital. Saturday. October q,
J. w. Chickering formerly Of Gallaudet
College. viii read. The readers Tor tho
ensuing week viii be Mrs. Charles A
Maxwell and Miss Mary Taughton. while
3. Frank Gibbest is scheduled 10 play on
the piano, which has been very kindly
loaned 10 the blind by the Knabe Com
paBy.
Among others vino will contribute their
services during the coming winter are
Miss Winnie Reem Hoxie. the sculptress.
Henry Harris Barroll, Mary Bull Hinton.
Edward Everett Hale Maurice Francis
Egan, Z. L. ifall. Il. Hopkinson Smith.
and Henry Van Dyke. a feature or the
entertainments viii be the performances
by those who are blind for the benefit Of
their friends
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16
Colored Ministers Meet.

A meeting of the Washington CoIored
Ministerial Union was held at II O'Clock
yesterday. at the Lincoln Temple Me
mortal Church. Rev. Francis ]. Grinkc
presiding. Rev. J.. r. 3. Rosser acted as
secretary. 4 report was rendered by
several ministers regarding the sermons
used on the preceding Sunday, which IN
derwent the test of criticism for the ben
eft of members OF the union. The union
VIII meet at the Metropolitan A. NJ. E..
Church. Monday. October % at which
Rev. ". II. Davenport Will read paper
On The Place of Emotion in Religion"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1906-10-16
HALL FUNERAL TODAY.
Chief in POxtomce Division Sadly
Missed by Fellow Employees.

Universal we're The expressions OF regret
heard in the POst-Ohice Department yes
terday over the death Of L. S Hall. for
many years chief Of the division of files
and records. who died Sunday morning
at his home. Z and Thirteenth streets
northwest He is survived by his wife and
one daughter, also a sister and his aged
mother, all Of whom reside IN this city,
and a brother who is a newspaper man
employed IN Chicago.
He wifi be sadly missed said one
az his former associates IL the division
of Eles and records. where for years Mr..
Hail had been chief OF the division.
The funeral VIII be held this afternoon
az Oak hin Chapel, and the burial will
take place in Park HiIl Cemetery. Among
the floral offerings upon the casket viii
be 4 beautiful emblem sent by dr. Halls
former associates IN the department