St. Tammany farmer., 1906-06-23
(Copyr1ghted)
Uncle George Explains the National
pastima Hazino
Copyrightsd)

the inkwell over his new lavender
trousers, which he was wearing for the
nrst time, "hazing Is the great national
pasume. without which our sad lives
would be dreary waste. Had we no
hazing I fear greatly that there would
% little to relieve the dull monotony
of our money-grubbing existence. /
regret to see that the vile press is at
lacking this noble pastime in a scan
dalously vicious manner. This is to be
regretted; in fact, may call it de-
plorable lack Of taste. Pray, my dear
boy. how are we to educate young men
to navigate our ships II we omit this
important item from the curriculum?
Things have come to pretty pass in
deed II our potential national heroes
ire to be brought up to have care
tor the welfare Of others. view with
alarm. Dilly. this growing prejudice
against hazing. Besides. my dear boy,
and will whisper this softly, 1t is all
buncombe. What Is the loss Of one or
two lives compared with the enjoy
ment Of hundreds? Fudge upon such
stckly sentimentality. say l."
But had not these unfortunate
youths mothers and fathers, dear un-
cle1" asked little Dilly.
Possibly. possibly. Dilly. but I fail
TO see what that has to do with 1t. A
mother should be glad to offer up her
only son to the nation. What II his
joints are twisted out Of shape; his
cardiac appendage somewhat bent, and
his delicate neck broken, while his
features are unrecognizable? It Is a
mere bagatelle. As to hazing, Dilly,
our whole national existence Is one
grand hazing. Mr.. Rockefeller, Mr..
Morgan, Mr.. Hill and those other great
and good philanthropists, not forgetting
Russell Sage, are wildly enthusiastic
advocates OF hazing. Possibly they do
not follow the strict rules of the game,
but they haze, devotedly and contin-
ually. AS q nation we are advocates
Of hazing. It is not 30 long ago since
We hazed Spain. later we threw the
boots into Venezuela: at present we
are trying for strangle hold on Mo-
rocco. and we would dearly love to
make Turkey eat delicate dish Of
angleworms."
Indeed you interest me. dear uncle"
aid little Dilly. "Are there other ex-
amples. too?"
MANY, my boy" replied Uncle
George. There is concerted attempt
upon the part Of the country at large
to make Senators Depew and Platt
walk down a slivery plank with bare
eeet and their corns sticking out. It
Is q sad spectacle, Dilly, sad spec
tacle. Just because these two poor
pitiful old parties were caught climb
mg over transom with q gunny sack
eull Of swag. there is disposition to
make them hazees. regret more than
I can say that things have reached this
stage. I would like to see them be
permitted to rest ct ease. and spend
their remaining years In the quiet and
seclusion Of a-jail. but we must not
hope for too much. Just at present
there seems little likelihood Of such
contrstemps. owing to some untcre-
sesn Niger in the woodpile who has
eoaped the tracks Of the judiciary sx-
press, but have hope. Dilly. I have
Rreat hope. There II nothing like hax-
lng, In my opinion. Nothing like it."
whist II the exact meaning Of the
term, uncle?" asked Dilly.
1T 10 somewhat Obscure" replied
Uncle George. I'm the original con-
ception It was, no doubt, intended to
hurl the victim into a mental haze
from which he recovered but slowly.
In the earlier days Of hazing, 1t was
considered the height Of humor to take
. young mans belongings and mislay
them. This palled after awhile. and
now humor does not appear until after
the victim IL dead, and through some
lndelicate reason Of his own. he re-
fuses to see the hilarity OF It all. I
will not rest content, Dilly. until some
Of the young men at Annapolis soak
the garments OF fellow cadet in
kerosene and use him for pinnacle
light. think that would be Scream
ingly funny. One can almost imagine
the conversation that takes place when
new cadet shows up. Cadet No.
gathers about him q choice collection Of
brainless young asses who have more
time than is good for them, and who
arc being taken care Of at the expense
Of the government In q manner that
their fondest dreams never realized,
SAd says: