Los Angeles herald., 1906-11-29
LONESOME PETE, GOOD SAMARITAN,
SPENDS THANKSGIVING In JAIL

knew dat I saw Skinny Lukins stash
de stuff dat he stole from der joolry
dump at his place, an l wusn't lookin'
prosperous.
Dig" says I, an he begins to wepe
and whine. But dere wuzn't nuthln
doin'. I wanted der little stone what
de gent had handed in, and when I had
took der shylocker by de place where
Pansy wore der beads and shook him er
few times and called up er few re-
mlnuslcenses he gives me dat little
stone, and 1 sticks It down in me pad
dick coat and starts after der gent wild
der jag and der fifteen.
Say, yer could have follered dat guy
er mile away and never got lost from
| i'm.
We'll, dat blolke streaks fer de booze
foundries and he streaks hard. When
he hits de Boys Retreat" dump he
was lappin up de suds like er hungry
footlighter wild four tousand dollars
wurt er bubbles on de table.
Say, dat feller had de greatest wine
appetite ON er beer pocketbook dat
ever seen.
He wuz trowin' away his dough like
he hated It. When he reached Ike's
dump l folered him in. He wuz stand
in up close ter der counter and BLOWN
der varnish off der bar wild his breat.
Say, 1 gets him by der collar and
takes him out to der street and puts
him in der gutter. Den he begins ter
cry wild one of dose weepin' drunks
about his wife an baby an about de
toikey he wuz goin ter get fer dere
T'anksgivin IL he hadn't er spent der
money dat he got frum his wife's EN-
gagerment ring.
Den he shows me where his palace
wuz, a little up-story fiat kinder place,
an L put him in er barrel, head down,
till 1 got back. / trots to palace and
see, near drops dead, fer dere wuz one
Nv dose "Oh, dere's daddy" yells frum
de inside, an de trampin' of feet and
den er woman opens de door an nearly
hugged me before she seed de diff
ference in der landscape.
"Wot's der matter wild John?" she
says quick an nervous like, an frum
dat L ermagines dat de same John,
whose think dome wuz at dat moment
in der bottom of de barrel wuz in de
habit of lappin' de suds and had taken
de pledge.
I'm frum yer husban', ma am" l seZ,
an one of der little kids wild der blue
eyes hid his little face in der womans
skirts. HE has been KEEP little while
longer dan he fought he wuz goin' ter
be, but he give me two bits an tole me
to say dat he had been paid er ole det
NV eI lew IRON DuChS al utl lie ulull
haf ter soak de ring.
"TIe says he'll be home wild de grub
early in de morning" l says, and when
/ knew de girl didn't believe dat ser
preme effort in de fibbin' line den l
hooks up de sparkler and shoVes it ter
her and says: "He says dat he couldn
wait ter bring dat home ter yer in der
mornin' and dat fer yer not ter worry
and he'll be home wild de toikey."
M fD1y do pi,n M ctonfla
wild a sort of maybe yer amt no liar'
way, and den slips outer der place and
back to de barrel.
Say, it's er wonder wot effect de smell
of er ole swill barrel has on er guys
digestive orguns, especially since yer
got de booze in yer.
When / got widin' few blocks of der
geezer yer could er shut yer eyes and
ermagined dat yer wuz on board der
steamship goin' erbroad wild er whole
regermint NV people wot had never
been on der ocean before.
When I got to der barrel an lifts
der bloke out he was rs near empty as
er man generally gifts widout his
stomach fallin' inter his backbone.
I took der eight bucks he had left
erway frum him and l bought him tree
sizz sizz bromo tings ter blow his
brains out wild.
Den piled out to der grub shops dat
were open and got a toilkey an enuf
grub ter feed eight er ten families
Den I takes it back an leaves it wild
de guy at de Toikish bat factury and
pays fer de job and ter have his close
cleaned up.
Den hunts my hole and snoozes.
Say, der mex morning I camps near
de guys palace, an about erclock here
he comes wild de bundles hangin' OH
every hinge and de toikey's head
stickin' outer one of der bundles.
He had one of dose wonder where
wuz last night" looks on his map, an
when he hits de door de wife crawls
all over him an so did de kids.
Say, dat wise guy looks kinder pale.
but he don't even say nuttin when she
shows him der sparker and tells him