Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-12-25
AS TO CARBUNCLES.
Not the Precious Stone of That Name,
but the Sort Even Poor Can Have.

Not the Precious Stone of That Name,
but the Sort Even Poor Can Have.
From the New York Sun.
IA carbuncle," said a man of an all-over-
weary aspect lis supposed to belong to
the boil family, but it is to the ordinary
plain adult boil as a complete demonstra-
ton of the binomial theorem is to KY.
Job had boils." he went on. land was
patient but 1t Is not set forth in the Scrip
ture or in any secular work. nor Is 1t ven
tured in the widest fiction, that any man
ever had carbuncle and was patient-ex-
cept as he was a doctors patient We are
told that the dogs came and licked the
bois of Job; If Job had had carbuncles he
would have licked the dogs.
"a carbuncle," continued the man with a
seriously scientific look. us sort of in
vested boil-a boil over. so to scnak. A
boil II left to itself will cure itself by ma
turing and eventually disappearing, but a
carbuncle, instead of coming to a head.
keeps burrowing deeper and deeper. and 1t
natures about the time your old-fashioned
life insurance policy natures.
Now. this little pet said the man, look
ing at a bulge near the elbow of his left
coat sleeve. lis healthy carbuncle in the
prime of ats existence. You needn't feel
of the back Of your necks, gentlemen.
Whenever two or three or more persons
are. gathered together and one of them says
'carbuncle.' half the others begin to feel
for the scars on the backs OF their necks
and get ready to butt in with their ex-
periences.
But they have studied their carbuncles
only darkly with hand glass To know
nearly as well as the carbuncle knows
you-it should be in a location accessible
to the reyei: on an elbow. for instance.
lone of Jobs successors in the boil line
yr1I hot fhA ,~1<
to have boil is on some other fellow: but
no man with carbuncle could be so in
human as to wish it on any one other fell
low. though he might wish 1t could be d.
vtded UP between ten or dozen robust
men.
This little pet resumed the man at
the point where he had interrupted him
self, has the clear pedigree. I was mon
keying with small boat on the shore OF
| the lower bay two weeks ago. bare armed,
when a striped-winged fly with prismatic-
colored head lighted on this elbow and
got in his work before l saw him.
! II made a slap at him and got him.
| wish had missed him for he left his pro-
boscis. or whatever 1t should be called In
my arm: hence this carbuncle. This is
only one Of the ways of getting carbuncle,
| but there are more ways Of getting them
than Of getting In love.
But" said the man, Frightening up,
"even carbuncles have their uses. When
this one made It's appearance l went around
to the drug stores and bought various anti
| inf1ammatory preparations that I thought
! could be more tidily used than fiaxsocd
| poultices. and from studying the Greek
| names of those 1 have so renewed by in
| terest in the Greek language and ltera-
| ture that I am now killing time by going
over the scanning Of the Prometheus of
| Aeschylus
But when the thing had declared itself
as a sure-enough carbuncle and claimed
| the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of
| happiness had to resort to thu time hon
ored faxseed poultices as mother used 70
make them.
There Is one point however" said the
! man. hard expression coming over HE
| face, which I cannot set forth too strong
! " and that is that no man who lives In q
fiat should have carbuncle. Now. tho
fiat live in has hall in which are various
angular protuberances ca -ed by bedrooms.
| boudoirs and a bath room jutting into 1t
| and such a hall Is no place for a man With
| carbuncle on his elbow to promenade In
| at night. ,Carbuncles require spacious
| apartments and magnificent distances"
Here the man arose and said that he saw
his car coming. But he let 1t go by. say
| ing:
mo, that is not my car. 1t is a church
fair car from Borough Park and. as much
| as I love children, / don't like to have
them play horse on my carbuncle. I'll walk
| on for WHILE"