The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-03
A MAN AND a HOG.

1t was generally believed in the viii
lage of Grafton that Deacon. StiHwell
and the widow Carter would make
match of it after the deacon year of
mourning was up. The belief was
based on the fact that their houses and
lots adjoined; that when the widow was
left a widow by a saWlOg rolling over
her husband, the deacon called her
poor thing and led the funeral pro-
ceSSlOn in person, though known to be
very much opposed to funeral process
sions; that during his wife's illness the
widow had acted as nurse; that his
wife on her dying bed had said that
if he ever married again she hoped he
would marry Mrs. Carter.
If anything further was needed to
base a belief on, the gossips had it
when they passed the widows house
and saw the Deacon trimming her
apple trees and thinning out the cur
rant bushes That was before his
wife had been dead six months.
To save further speculation, it may
be stated here that the two people
mentioned really did intend TO make
a marriage. That is, the deacon came
to the conclusion that he thought a
heap of the widow and wanted home,
and the widow knew the deacon to be
a good man and one who never found
fault with too much lard being used for
fried cakes After ten months had
passed away they let their thoughts be
known to each other in way, but
the year was up. 1t wasn't an engage
ment then, but only an understanding
However, one year and two weeks
and seven hours after his wife's death
the deacon sauntered around to the
Widows gate of a Sunday evening. He
was in his best clothes, and he had
made up his mind TO pop the question
and have the day set.
The widow sat on the veranda
whisking at the bugs and flies, and
he took a seat beside her in a way that
told her WOmans heart that there was
something doing.
As a prelude he began to tell her
about the drought in Texas, and he
had got along as far as to state that
every COW wanting a drink had to walk
a hundred miles for it, when the widow
rose up with a, cry. She had espied
hog il her back. garden. 1t was a
spotted hog. ana. his snoot was playing
hob among her early rose pOta toes. He
had burst his way in from the alley
without reference to its being the Sab
bath day, and had already rooted up
dozen hills.
Its a hog in the garden!" she ex-
planned as she turned to the deacon.
Yes, I see, and III soon have him
It is said that every person born has
an antipathy- The deacon had one,
and it was hogs. He always had two
or three in the pen, and he never
missed giving them sly whacks when
occasion offered. To be interrupted as
he was by a hog, and that on Sunday
to boot. made his blood boil. He might
have to race that porker around for
fifteen minutes before finding out
whether the widow would say yes or
no when the real pinch came.
81 think it's one of Perkins hogs, .
said the widow as the deacon slid off
the veranda and looked around for a
club
1T don't make any difference who
owns him. He's in your garden doing
damage, and I'll make him wish he'd
never been boEnt''
You don't mean you'll kill him ?"
I'll break every bone in his bodvi'f
There was a grimness about the dea-
con that the widow had never seen be-
/ fore, but before she could say anything
further he set off with a club in his
/ hand. The hog had his head turned
/ the other way and was very busy and
i the first thing he knew he received
such a thump across the back that
I he supposed an apple tree had fallen
on him He took a skate for few
rods and then turned about and Sd "
4 the man ana his club.
T. Anybody who thinks 2 hog has no