Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-07-05
BEING MADE AT HOME
FROM THE GUESTS POINT OF
VIEW.
Conforming to the Customs of the
Hosts House-The Early
Breakfast Question.
From the London Chronicle.

from the London Chronicle.
Liberty Hall is naturally what every host
and hostess should aim at making their
house while guests are in 1t. 1t sounds
simple enough, but unfortunately peoples
ideas of liberty differ in the most impor-
tant respects.
have known man tell me that l must
do exactly as like in his house, and then
expect me to make of family break
fast at 1880 a in the winter In such
case l always respect my hosts wishes
In the general rather than in the particu-
lar
All guests have not the same moral cour-
age Rather than come down to that break
fast at O'Clock and murmur that they
seem to be little late q think 1 have my
self done regularly for a fortnight they
VIII submit to be punctual, and thereby
render themselves wretched for the rest OF
the day-unless, of course, they happen TO
be early risers, In which case they ought
TO recognize that they are victims CT in
somnia, and not by their cheerful bearing
assist in perpetuating crime
This breakfast question is one OF the first
that hosts should try to master. l will not
dwell upon 1t here, because 1t is thing
about which many people have been elo-
quent. | Will only say that it is one of the
few questions upon which our smart set is
wholly right and our middle class wholly
wrong, that early rising may be neces-
sity at times, but never duty and that it
is a much less reasonable matter to send
your guest off to bed at 81 o'clock because
that is the hour at which you like TO sIiooze
yourself than 1t is to haul him out OF bed
at o clock because you are of a restless
disposition or have the misfortune to be
compelled to catch train to town at some
lnearthly hour of the morning Can you
suppose that the sight of you poltlng KID
neys and bacon in the chill awu will rec
ommend your guest for having lost two or
three hours of blessed sleep during which
he might have been dreaming of the gar
den OF the Hesperides (sUpposing him to be
a student of hte classics?
Guest or Strangerp
Perhaps the Ideal host or hostess is he or
she who can hit the happy mean between
making guest feel at home and making
him feel a stranger. Make yourself at
hcme" is considered rather a hospitabIe
phrase but do not know that 1 approve
of 1t. l do not want to be made entirely at
home when l am in somebody else's house
If l had wanted to be made at home /
should have stayed in my own house. The
TACT that one is paying a visit ought, it
seems to me- to convey the further fact
that one Is wanting a change. Besides be-
ing made at home has its limitations.
Family life is excellent institution. It
distinguishes US from the beasts; but then
so does visiting l am not aware that I'll
gers entertain one another or that hospl-
tally is anything but negligible quality
among the saurians At home the best CT
gars and wine are not always produced:
one does not at home even invariably get SO
simple a treat as the wing of the chicken.
repeat when one is away, one likes a
change from all this sort of thing. like
the morning sun in my room when l am
away. and the best bed and bath room at
tatched and my wishes consulted as to the
hours of meals At home 1t is most Gus
tomary to meet the wishes of the cook on
these matters.
Even a boy l remember Directing to
being made at home in other peoples
houses. Other peoples parents, In these
houses used to have their own alien Ideas
OF strictness and propriety, and the privi-
1ege of sharing in the punishment dealt out
to ones friends for sharing In their mis-
chief was one I never appreciated. 1 pre-
ferred TO be treated as a guest. At least 1
not quite sure about this. l remember
one occasion when 1 and the young friends
whose parents were my hosts climbed on
TO the roof of the house and cut away
good deal of the leads in order to make
bullets for catapults. The rain afterward
came through the roof at various points,
which led to our discovery. What we
had done was not much worse than any
plumber would have done-give him half an
hour to himself-but 1t seemed we might
have fallen off the roof and killed our
selves. To guard against the recurrence of
any such possibility my friends were sent
TO bed al o'clock in the afternoon. | as
a guest, was not sent but l had a very
dull evening. I should have preferred be
Ing sent to bed. too. We could have had
pillow fights.
Too Much Consideration.
Perhaps this a of making me
feel too much a stranger. Hosts should
avoid causing that feeling much
possible. l have that feeling when I am
stopping in a house where say, the child
rem are forbidden to talk at table lest some
Ink in the chain of my admirable con-
versation should be lost; when the hostess,
knowing me to be metaphysician, breaks
OFF some little chat about hats to say she
IS afraid l must think her frivolous and
won't 1 tell her something about Hegel
now; when the host complains of the din
ner which isn't bad and IS In any case
much better than his cook usually sends
up, / happen TO know. Nothing makes
one feel such a stranger as too cautious a
consideration. That Is why we westerners
can never feel quite happy in the east,
where-just TO show his guest honor-the
host will refer to his wife as the ugly per-
son in the corner. You always wonder
what his wife or his children or he himself
says or you. after you have left the house;
and you blush to think of the foolish
things you said and they listened to with
such fattering solemnity.
Another thing than courtesy that can
easily be overdone by q host Is the business
OF entertaining. really active host can
a week Ruins of castles. parish meetings,
daffodn teas. the local theater. a circus,
rat hunt, a meet and a church decoration
Il have been dragged TO all these in the
space OF three days by host whose one
fear that time should fall too heavily
upon his guests and was determined that
they should not be dull He could not
believe that / went to see him. l find
come difficulty in believing 1t myself now.