davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Irish Wit,

Once upon time an Irishman and
a Yankee were riding along together.
They happend to pass a gallows and
the Yankee asked: Where would
you be, friend if the gallows had all
that is due to it?' "Sure, an I'd be
ridin' meself to-day, sor," answered
the witty son of Erin.
Once upon a time an Irish horse
dealer sold to a man mare that he
assured the purchaser was "sound in
mind and limb and without fault"
After the mares new oner took her
home he found the animal was blind
In one eye and could scarcely see
with the other. Returning to the
1rishman, he protested, saying: "You
assured me the mare was without
fault, and l find her blind of an eye"
To this the ready Irishman made
answer: "Sure, an the poor critters
blindness is not her fault, but Eer
misfortune, sOir.'
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Nesselrode Pudding.

This is an extra troublesome pudding
to make, but is very delicious. Line the
bottom of an ice-cream mold with thin
slices of sponge cake that have been
soaked in sherry wine; put layer of all
sorts of candied and preserved fruits on
this, cut up very fine; then more cake,
and so on until the mold is nearly full.
Make custard of a quart of milk, sugar
to taste and six egg yolks, with a cake
of grated chocolate; add two tablespoon
fuls dissolved gelatin boiling hot,
strain and let cool: pour this over the
sake and fruit in the mold, seal careful
ly and pack in ice. When turned out it
makes beautiful dish. Serve with
whipped cream sweetened and favored
to taste.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
WORST CASE OF ECZEMA.

Spread Rapidly Over Body-Limbs
and Arms Had to Be 8andaged-
Marvellous Cure by Cuticura.
"My son, who is now twenty-five
years of age, when he was four
months old began to have eczema on
his face, spreading quite rapidly until
he was nearly covered. We had all
the doctors around us, and some from
larger places, but no one helped him a.
particle. The eczema was something
terrible, and the doctors said it was
the worst case they ever saw. At
times his whole body and face were
covered, all but his feet. I had to
bandage his limbs and arms; his
scalp was just dreadful. A friend
leased me to- try Cuticura and be-
gan to use all three OF the Cuticura
Remedies. He was better in two
months, and in six months he was
well. Mrs. R. L. Rjsley, Piermont,
N. H., Oct. "a, 1906"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
!! VEN CRU cHEi:s'.
Al N edicinss Fallsd Until 81. VIII
j. liaMs Pink l,iils Cured: His: :.
& , ~ ); ~ 59houmat lsln.

@ Sgss.' Some years ago. = says Mr.. W. II:
Clark, q printer, living at 612 Buchanan
? street, Topeka, Rams, IT had bad at
tack Of rheumatism and could not seem
to get over it. All sorts of medicines
failed to do me any good and my trouble
kept getting worse: Ny feet were so
swollen thatcI could not wear shoes and
I had to 60 OH crutches. The pain was
terrible. -, e.: ...z.
, Cone day was setting the type of an
article for the paper telling what DR..
Williams Pink Pills had done for a man
afflicted asI was and was so impressed
with it that I determined to give the
nedicinea trial. For: q year my rheu-
matlsm had been growing worse, but
after taking DR.. Williams Pink Pills I
began to improve. The pain and swell
ing all disappeared and can truthfullv
say that haven t felt better i'll the past
twenty years than I do right now. 7
could name, off hand, half -dozen peo-
pie who have used DR.. Williams Pink
Pills at my suggestion and who have re-
ceived good results from them"
DIR. Williams Pink Pills are guarar-
teed to be safe and harmless to the most
delicate constitution. They contain no
morphine, Opiate, narcotic, nor any,
thing to cause a drug habit. They do not
act OIL the bowels but they actually make
new blood and strengthen the nerves.
DR.. Williams Pink Pills cure rheuma-
tism because they make rich, red blood
and no man or woman can have healthy
blood and rheumatism at the same time.
They have also cured many cases of
anaemia, neuralgia, sciatica, partial pa
ralysis, locomotor ataxia and other dis
eases that have not yielded to ordinary
treatment
All druggists sell DIR. Williams Pink
Pills or they will be sent by mail, post
paid, OIL receipt Of price, so cents per
box, six boxes for 81. so. by the DR.. Will.
hams Medicine Co., Schenectady, NY.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Are You Tired, Nervous
and SIeeDless?

Nervousness and sleeplessness are US.
ually due to the fact that the nerves are
not fed on properly nourlshing blood
they are staryed nerves. Dr. Pierce's
rich blood, and thereby the nerves are
properly nourished and all the organs OF
the body are run as smoothly as machin-
cry which runs in Oil. In this way you
feel clean, strong and strenuous-you are
toned up and invigorated, and you are
good for whole lot Of physical or mental
work. Best of all, the strength and in
crease in vitality and health are lasting.
The trouble with most tonics and med
cines which have large, booming sale
for a short time, is that they are largely
composed of alcohol holding the drugs in
solution. This alcohol shrinks up the red
blood corppscles, and in the long run
exhilarated and better for tho time being,
yet in the end weakened and with vitality
decreased. DR.. PierceSs Golden Medical
Discovery contains no alcohol. Every
bottle OF it bears upon it's wrapper Tho
Badge Of Honesty, in q full list Of all its
several ingredients. For the druggist to
offer you something he claims is Gust as
good' IL to insult your intelligence.
Every ingredient entering into tho
world famed Golden Medical Discovery''
has the unanimous approval and endorse
ment OF the leading medical authorities
OF all the several schools Of practice. No
other medicine sold through druggists for
like purposes has any such endorsement.
The :'Golden Medical Discovery not
only produces all the good effects to be
obtained from the use Of Golden Seal
root. in all stomach. liver )and bowel
troubles, as in dyspepsia, billiousness, con-
stipation, liberation Of stomach and
bowels and kindred ailments, but the
Golden Seal root used in it's compound
ing is greatly enhanced in its curative &C.
ton BY other ingredients such as Stone
root, Black Cherrybark, Bloodroot, Man
drake root and chemically pure triple
refined glycerine.
The Common Sense Medical Adviser"
IS sent free in paper covers on receipt Of
Il one-cent stamps to pay the cost of mail
ing only. For 81 stamps the bound
volume will be sent. Address DR.. r. v.
Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y
DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cure con-
stlpatloa, biliousness and headache.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
The Ewes.

When the eyes have been irritated
through excessive use compress of
fine linen wet with very cold water will
generally bring relief. An eyewash
that is particularly excellent when in
fiammation has set in can be made by
combining Is drops of spirits of cam
phor, one teaspoonful of boric acid and
two-thirds of a cupful of boiling water
Cool, STRAIN through muslin and apply
every hour with an eyecup. Wells with
thick, heavy dots are extremely bad for
the eyes, and they are not half as pref
ty as the finer French wells with a
large dot scattered here and there.
Reading IN the twilight or continuing
to do fancy work when the eyes. are
tired should be forbidden.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Crown Of: Gold.

"The late Paul Lawrence Dunbar,
the negro poet said an editor, "once
addressed a Sunday school in New
York. An odd incident happened,
though, at its end, an incident that
Dunbar laughed at as heartily as the
rest of us.
Dunbar, toward the close of his re-
marks, said:
-" And, my little friends, if you do
all these things some day you will
wear gold crown. Yes, each of you
some day will wear a gold crown
"A little chap in the front row,
catching the poets friendly eye, piped:
my fader wears one now
emo! said the poet.
eyes, he does-on his toof,' said
the little chap"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
The Will and the Way.

"No," snapped the woman with the
square chin, II don't want no burglar
alarms"
'"Then the lady next door was right,
I suppose" rejoined the agent as he
turned to go.
what did she say?" queried the
square:chinned female, somewhat ca
gerly.
"Oh, she didn't say very much" an
swered the agent. after purchasing
two of the alarms she said 1t would be
a waste of time to stop here, as you
had nothing worth stealing"
1.-THE impudent thing!" exclaimed
the other, Indignantly. Here, give
me half a, dozen of them alarms.''
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
The "Dead. Line"

Look around the world to-day, and
see what some of the men who have
long passed the dead line" are doing,
and what they have accomplished.
Look at the young old military lead
ers in little Japan who conquered
great Russia: Oyama~ was, 20 years
past his fatal line when he won his
great victories, and all of his corps
commanders were past so. Marquis
Ito, the grand old man Of Japan, her
greatest statesman, and the one who
has done more than any other to make
Japan what it is to-day, is still active
in the service of his country.-Success
Magazine. -.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Branded as a Deserter.

Brantley Willis, former railroad
man of Fargo, enlisted in the regular
army at the local station. He was Or
dered to Smelling and given transport
tation, with permission to spend day
or two with st. Paul friends before
reporting. He used the ticket, but
never reached the fort, and is now
down on the local books as a deserter.
Two others, one of whom was cap
tured in South Dakota, failed to reach
proper destination.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
PATENTS.

List Of Patents Issued Last Week to
Northwestern Inventors.
Reported by Lothrop & Johnson,
patent lawyers, 911-912 Pioneer Press
building, st. Paul, MINI. Alfred An
derson, Detroit, Mimi, switch mechan-
ism; William Seek, Henderson, Mimi,
shoe sole fastening; Isaac N. Bowen,
Lead, S. D., tire; John Dahlin, CHS
holm, MINI, safety device for hoist;
John G. Gottleib, Fessenden, N. D., OBJ
stetrica1 instrument; William J. Gray,
Sank Center, Mimi, lifting jack; Ed
ward E. Johnson, st. Paul, Mimi, rail
way water column.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Cheap and Filling Food.

Now these be the virtues of the
cereals; they are cheap, easily swal-
lowed and of moderate nutritive value.
There is all element in the average hui
man mind, half puritanic, half stingy,
which is inclined to count as virtue
the ingestion of any food which is not
especially attractive but believed to
be nutritious. In fact, to eat that
which is cheap and filling is one of
the petty vices.-McClure's Magazine.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
500 Reward. 500.

The readers Of this paper viii be pleased to learn
that there at least dreaded disease that science
has been able to in all its stages, and that Is
cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being constitutional disease, requires constitu'
ternally acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces Of the system, thereby destroying the
foundation Of the disease, and giving the patient
ing nature in doing its work. Tho propretors have
50 much faith In Its curative powers that they oner
One Hundred Dollars for any case that It falls to
cure. Send for list of testimonials,
Address F. j. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo, O!
Sold by all Druggists, 15c.
Take Hairs Family Pills for constipation.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
! | f. ] !
= = ---If,:a'E" :, =
For Sick Women
Z To Consider

F1RsT.-That almost everv operation
In our hospitals performed upon women
becomes necessary through neglect OF
such symptoms as backache,. irregular
and painful periods, displacements
OF the female organs, pain in the side,
burning sensation in the stomach,
bearing-down pains, nervousness, dig.
zlness and sleeplessness.
SEcoND.-The medicine that holds
the record for the largest number of
absolute cures of female ills is lydia
p. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
IL regulates, strengthens and cures
diseases OF the female organism as
nothing else can.
FOR thirty years it has been helping
women to be strong, curing backache.
nervousness, kidney troubles, infiam-
nation of the female organs, weak
ness and displacements, regulating
the periods perfectly and overcoming
their pains. 1t has also proved itself
invaluable in preparing women for
childbirth and the change of life.
TH1RD.-The great volume of unso-
icited and grateful testimonials on flo
at the Pinkham Laboratory at LYNN.
Mass, many of which are from time to
time published by permission, give alb
solute evidence of the value Of lydia
p: Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and
Mrs. Pinkham's advice.
Mrs. Pinkham's Standing Invitation
t0WOmen.-Women suffering from auv
form of female weakness are invited to
promptly communicate with Mrs Pink
ham, at Lynn, Mass. All letters are
received, opened, read and answered
by women only. From symptoms given,
your trouble may be located and the
quickest and surest way of recovery
advised. Mrs. Pinkham is daughter
ln-law of Lydia E. Pinkham and for
twenty-five years under her direction
and since her decease she has been ad-
visings sick women free of charge. Outof
the vast volume of experience in treat
ing female ills Mrs. Pinkham probably
has the very knowledge that will help
your case. Surely, any woman, rich or
poor, is very foolish if She does not take
advantage of this generous offer Of
assistance.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Calculating Man.

Il don't like young DR.. oprates." re-
marked the timid young thing.
mo? And why?''
'''The other evening he called, and by
and by he squeezed my hand and said
something sentimental, and just as ]
was trying to look demure and blush !
discovered that he had his finger on
my pulse to see whether or not I was
really affected by his attentions, ~
Judge.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

DYSPEPSIA Is often Caused By Cata71h
Of the S1omach-Rc1uuo Relieves Ca
farrA Of the Stomach and Is Therefore a.
Remedy For Dyspepsia.
e->>-~---e-s-s->-s>-s-e-~
! Hon. AZ. C. Butler, Ex-U. S. Sem
ator from South Carolina for two
! terms, in q letter from Washington,
D. c., writes to the Peruna Medicine i!
: Co.. as follows:
j 81 can recommend Peruna for /
dyspepsia aud stomach trouble.
have been using your medicine for
! & short period and / feel very much !
relieved. 1t is indeed wonderful !
: medicine, besides a good tonic. 3"
1-s-s-~-s-e-s->-s-s-s-e-s-s-
~ATARRH of the stomach is the COR
Arect name for most cases of dYspep-
STA. In order to cure catarrh of the
stomach the catarrh must be eradicated.
Only an internal catarrh remedy,
such as Peruna. is available.
Peruna exactly meets the indications.
Revised Formula.
For q number of years requests
have come to me from multitude Of
grateful friends urging that Peruna
be given slight laxative quality:
have been experimenting with laxa-
tive addition for quite a length of
time, and now feel gratified to an
nounce to the friends of Peruna that
I have incorporated such a quality in
the medicine which, in my opinion,
can only enhance its wellknown bene-
fetal character.
IS. B. H ARTMAN, NJ. D."
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

sands who & suffer J!
from. kidney trou-=.
bles: brought on BY
daily work. II first
noticed It eight or
ten years ago. said
Mr.. Lightner: "The
dull pain in the
back fairly made
me sick. It was
hard to get up or
n 0w hard tn
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Leather Chairs

To clean and polish the leather
coverings of chairs. ETC., mix together
equal parts of vinegar and linseed
oil. Apply very sparingly with a
piece Of flannel and polish with, soft
cloth. The same treatment is excel
lent for French polished furniture,
but it must be remembered that the
vinegar and oil mixture is to be APP
applied sparingly, and that "elbow
grease" IS to be used generously.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
A Colored Wash-Dress:

If you are doubtful whether mus
lin or print dress will wash we'll,
preface the washing by soaking ii
for ten minutes in a pail of tepid
water, into which teaspoonful OF
turpentine has been stirred.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
RictIand to Have a Fair.

The Richland County Fair associa-
ton has bought twenty-three acres
just outside the city limits of Wahpe-
ton and will build track and erect
buildings as soon as possible. It is
planned to hold the first fair the last
week in September.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

straighten, hard to do any work that
brought a strain on the back. I had
frequent, attacks of gravel and the
urine was passed too often and with
pain. x When + used Doan's Kidney
Pills, however, all traces of the trou-
BILE disappeared and have not return
ed. I am certainly grateful" y
Sold by all Dealers so cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Stole Prison Socks.

Says South African newspaper:
can amusing case occurred in the
magistrates court at Durham lately,
when a recently discharged convict
was charged with stealing his prison
socks. The accused alleged that he
forgot to change them when dis.
charged, but was returned to prison
for another month";
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
kothin' DOM.

Kind Lady-Now that you have had
offered you some work?
The Hobo-Excuse me, ma'am, but
I'm too much Of a gentleman to say it
in the presence of lady. Good after
noon, ma'am.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Another Version.

Jack was just about to build his ia
NOUS house.
Why don't you get some men to
help you?" asked the curious friend.
NO sir" replied Jack, they would
call a strike on me before the house
was finished. I'll build it myself"
Thus we know why the house was
called the house that Jack built
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Far Advanced.

sis your daughter progressing nice
ly with her music?" inquired the Wis
itor of Mrs. Goldrox.
II should say she was," said Mrs
Goldrox, with enthusiasm. "She's got
so she kin play the Carnival Of Ven
ice with variations, besides doing all
them little physical exercises with hel
hands crossed '-Milwaukee Sentinel
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Fish Salad.

Mix with chopped fish an equal
quantity OF. cut celery, chopped cab:
bage or shredded lettuce. Three salt
anchovies chopped with a dozen
capers may be added before mixing in
the dressing. ~
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Word of Warning to Girls.

: Girls, we never tried it, but it is
our opinion you had better be an old
maid. than to be the slave of some
worthless man, and there is a. great
quantity of them in circulation. So
don't be in hurry to marry you can
do that almost any time. q Those who
have tried it say it is quite task to
cut loose from a stick of man after
you tie up to one. !: -.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

na<Pinch, Use ALIENS FooT-EAsE.
A powder: 1t cures: painful, smart
ing, nervous feet and ingrowing nails.
Its the greatest comfort discovery Of
the age Makes new shoes easy. A
certain cure for sweating feet. Sold
by all druggists, Csc Trial package,
FREE. Address "A. S. Olmsted, LIE
Roy, N. Y. J. ss=.:;
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
What the Woman Thought,

They were talking about the new
star in society.
"She never laughs at jokes" SAID
the man.
Maybe she has no sense of humor,"
said the other man.
Maybe. she has false teeth said
the woman.
And then the conversation Ian.
guished.-Louisville Courier Journal.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

Nell-She says she will never mar
~ until her ideal comes to her and
says, Il love you.'
Belle-What is her ideal?
Nell-A man, of course.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
# Very Sallow.

Yes; you can dose yourself with
sulphur and molasses, eat fruits and
vegetables, and walk in the open air,
You will find your orange color. tad,
ing away under this treatment. !.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Myra.

We got a new servant girl, Myra,
We had lots of trouble to hyra;
She broke all our china,
I wanted to fina,
But couldn't-so we had to fyra!
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
AS They Viewed It.

TITS a fine day, deacon - .:,>* !.
Yes; but we're all miserable cree.
turs..''s ~" 52.... II: r. ~: ~ ;.
i: i *tWell, thank God, we're still
YES groaned the deacon, "but. our
times scomin''!''- Atlanta Constitution.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

IS oston.
I#:.' Why are you l1l 6ipvsh that man?
Do Won know him ?'' asked Madge in
surprise. .s 81 ~ ] t I>.= ... PIG s.
! 5. - es.. said her, chum, The walked
over me so many times getting out be-
tween acts at the theater last night
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
lnceasinQ. His 9th.

Notwithstanding all the EXCISE he
takes, Foley seems to get fatter and
fatter.'
Eyes, all his exercise certainly
seems to go to waist
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
Wonderful Thing.

Mr.. Brown had just had a telephone
connection between his Office and
house, and was very much pleased
with it.
Il tell you, Smith," he was saying,
this telephone business is a wonder
full thing. want you to- dine with
me this evening, and l. will notify Mrs.
Brown to expect you.''
Brown (speaking through the tele-
phone)-My friend Smith will dine " ith
us this evening.
'*Now listen and hear how plain her
reply comes back
Mrs. Browns reply came back with
startling dist1nctness:
"Ask your friend Smith if he thinks
we keep 4 hotel."-N. Y. World.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

Try Garfield Tea! 1t pur6es the blood,
cleanses the system, brings good health.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09
-
Not Much DOM.

Not Much DOM.
simkins-Old Skinner is considered
pretty we'll to do, isn't he?
Timkins-Yes. Also pretty hard to
do.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

BY their hair va shall know them. q Il
seems that our histor ies are written; 81
our hair. The Japanese scientist, Mat
sura, has been studying the variations
in the thickness 3of the hair. It. is
known that in certain diseases, among
other differences in growth; are found
marked variations in the length and
thickness of the finger nails. Now it APP
pears that the hair also is Influenced,
and all the affections which act upon
the general health bring about a diminu-
ton in the thickness Of the hair. The
medullary layer may even be interrupt
ed, and the hard layer which it contains
may disappear. Observations made
upon a hair will therefore show the
variations in thickness according TO
certain maladies, and the length of the
affected part Of the thinner portion OF
the hair gives an idea of the duration
of the malady, and even of slighter af-
fections. The variations are naturally
more strongly marked I'm the case OF
races than others. Pro-
vided the hair had never been cut, the
man would have his pathological his
tory written in capillary terms.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-06-09

A man may be short of ideas, and
still be able to hand out a long line of
talk.