The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1906-04-18

Nettie-Your friend Charley thinks
Kate Milwood is an awfully nice girl.
Bertha-Do you know, | never did like
that girl,
Pater-T oMmy, your shoes don't
look very nice. Tommy (aged fiveJ-
| don't suppose they do, but do you
think it polite to speak OF them?
Where is your pa, little
boy? Little Boy-He's gone to Cali
forny on one o. them Homesickers'
ursions-Baltimore American
Citiman-Well, pretty soon the
spring will be here in earnest, with
its birds and flowers and green grass
-. Subbubs-Oh, don't mention the
grass. We have to cut that.-Phi!a-
delphia Ledger.
"And you promised me you would
never speculate again" Il know 1t,
but it was such temptation. |
bought steel at 60 and sold at GS.'
"Oh, Algernon, how could you? 1t
went to 73!"-BroOklyn Life.
"This machine can go twenty times
as fast as that mule of yours said
the man who had been fixing an auto
mobile. Yes suh," answered Mr..
Erastus Pinkley. But it kin balk
forty times as hahd. Washington
star
'Lynching used to be a very com
mon thing in this section. I'm told,'
remarked the tourist from the East;
quite a pastime in fact mo, sir;
present time, if the occasion should
arise" replied Cactus Cal-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
Were you ever seasick? But per-
haps you never were aboard ship?'
Il embarked in courtship once, and |
got along all right, but | thought the
girl looked rather sick at her stom-
ach now and then when | was partic-
ularly sweet"
Il never knew before that he was
a religious crank Nonsense. he
isn't" He certainly is. He got me
in corner the other day and asked
me if | was prepared to die" of
course. He is an insurance agent
Philadelphia Ledger.
Hester-I never saw anybody WHO
| loved to spend money more than you
do. Edith love to shop, If that's
what you mean One does not have
to spend money when one goes shop
| ping, you know. Henry does that;
that's what men are for, you know.
She-You have said all along that
you had no troubles at all in your
business; and now Uncle Charles
tells me you owe thousands Of dol
lars. He-But, my dear, don't you
see, those are not my business
troubles, but the business troubles Of
! others.
President-About this man who asks
for a situation as bookkeeper. Is he
competent? Director-They tell me
he never was known to make mis-
take in his books President-That
settles it. A man who's as expert as
that is not to be trusted.-Boston
Transcript.
Mrs Peppery Piano playing is
very tiring. | should think your
daughter would find it so. Mrs. Mex
dore-I suppose she's never had oc-
casion to stop and consider it. Mrs.
Peppery-Well, I do wish she'd have
occasion to be considerate and stop
philadelphia Press.
Clara-I suppose there must have
been something awful that made you
break your engagement with Harry?
Imogen-Oh, no, Harry is all right,
and I think just as much of him as
ever: but Fred offered me ring with
a diamond in 1t, ever so much bigger
than the one in Harry's ring, and OF
course no girl would hesitate to
choose the best.
Mrs. Hussie-Six of that dozen Of
eggs were rotten. Dealer-SOrry, very
sorry, Mrs. Hussie; hope you didn't
break the shells? Mrs. Hussie-Why,
of course | did, How could | tell
whether they were good or bad?
Deoler-If you hadn't broken the
shells. we could have taken the eggs
back. We have other customers. you
know. But now they are no use to
us-Roston Transcript