Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1906-06-19
"a COIN OF COURTESY
THE GUINEA OF THE ENGList1MAN
Is NOT a. COIN AT ALL

THE GUINEA OF THE. ENGLlStlMAN
lis NOT COIN AT ALL.
As a Piece of Real Money 1t Has No
Existence, and 1t Is Used Only In
Imagination RS a Rather Awkward
Standard Of Monetary Value. -yssl H.
T OF all the obstacles that confront the
IEnglishman the guinea is the most
amazing. The other day an American
guest inquired of me, What is a. gum.
Iea? 2" He had been asked for one by a
circulating library. 1t seems an easy
question to answer, but as I had been
puMling over the division Of an imagi.
nary guinea into four parts the expla.
nation took time. It was as difficult as
explaining cricket to a German-in
German. y .#>|E Ne.
"Show me one" said the American.
/ confessed that I did not possess
one. =. -
what, not $5.25?" 81
Eyes, But not a guinea. We don't
have guinea in England any more"
"But you talk in guineas!'
"That's our fun" replied lamely.
, Nevertheless there is something to be
said for our system. Indeed, one might
argue that this incessant obstacle race
ii over the multiplication tables that we
have to enter insures a bracing Of the
muscles. We are always kept on the
alert to fathom the relations between a
pottle, a perch and a guinea or some
such absurd and fortuitous combina-
ton. And one may suspect that this
Tightening and Strengthening of the
muscles in the obstacle race is really
the source Of England's greatness.
| For all practical purposes the guinea
in which we TALKS the most prepos-
terously. absurd coin in the world, for
1T does not exist-corporeally. Some
few honest citizens wear spade guineas
on their watch chains. But If they tried
to pass them over to the booking clerk
on the underground railway they would
be in danger Of the. Judgment There
are no gufneas IN England. Yes, in
imaginatio they exist. r. ~
belonging to an unimaginative nation
of shopkeepers! The guinea is the coin
of courtesy, just because it is not a
coin at all And its preservation as an
anomaly is a curious proof Of the in
nate courtesy Of the nglishman, who
will face any arithmetical ,mconven-
fence rather than put d slur on q
friend. " NJ fT5 ~ #.=
This you may see from the lists OF
subscriptions for the gentleman In dis.
tress. You cannot offer him the neces.
saries Of life. When the friend falls
by the wayside 1t must be guineas, mot
soyereigns, that you supply, and sone
feels glad that the remarks of fthe
meanest sport that exists tie sport OF
kings offers prizes In ssssevs.', q It is
merely the analogue Of that convention
which regulates gifts between equals.
Etiqnette forbids your sending a
friend "a leg Of NUT that Is, al SOY.
iereign, the ordinary, humdrum coin
But You may send him pheasants. oys.
tiers, grouse or salmon, more especially
If the salmon ID the victim pfsyour own
rode, pole and perch !, Possibly the
real explanation is that as b natter $of
courtesy, you may not give a man
what he could obtain at the nearest
shop-it must be something that Is moi
easily obtainable VIII s5.S Z
. Now, q guinea is not easily obtaina-
bic, and the difference between offer
ing q man q guinea and offering him q
sovereign is the difference between
sending a man q leg of mutton Sand
! sending him barrel Of oysters THAT
little silly shilling stuck on to the SOY
ereign that retention of the ghost Of q
coin long dead and borne on a watch
chain, with the locket containing / q
twist Of reat-great-auntie's hair. was
itssighHdaaRde. 4 ID 10 & fsssa ~
It srthfsf Fls dilnept of the English
mans innate idealism. It is like the
equally silly Esq which We tack on
The names Of friends There are no
esquires nowadays and no guineas, but
we see them with the eye of faith.
!. And we sacrifice to cur faith consider
able muscular exertion, many blobs of
ink and sundry shillings that might
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reprints of the worlds best books.
Il You will naturally conclude that 4
did not put this view before my Amer
lean friend He would scarcely under
STAND 1t. I led him gently to the pala-
hal bank premises into which I hur-
fiedly cast my weekly wage for fear I
should lose 1t on the way home and
pointed out to him lowering my voice
discreetly, az becomes the supp IN
the temple OF wealth.
Note that young man. said. HE
Is adding up three columns Of figures.
There are guineas, things that won't
/ fraternize with half crowns or four
shilling pieces or forms or half sover-
eigns or sovereigns, but you VIII per
ceiye that this young man is taking
them In his stride. Now, what about
& his muscles r. ts3
.,I should conclude" said the Ameri-
J ran guest thonghtfnlly that q young
( man who can put 70 guineas together
and make 'em dollars can do any.
a ming. z &sg sfs