davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25

had in view. The first operation neces-
sary was the clearing of the land Of the
rank tropical growths by which it was
encumbered and then burning it over.
it was planted with cane and rubber
plants, and the cultivation Of the plants
by the most approved methods begun.
The clearing of this land and its plant
ing in cane and rubber plants cannot, Of
course, be all undertaken at once. A
certain amount of ground, therefore, is
cleared year after year and brought under
cultivation. So rich is this land that it
is almost manure, and the use of fertil-
izers Is absolutely unnecessary.
Mexico by the native planters, but their
methods are shiftless and their machin-
cry old and incapable Of extracting the
full saccharine strength from the cane.
In spite of this, however, many of them
are wealthy.
Even under the most shiftless and
>wasteful methods the cultivation of sugar
Is always profitable. In Hawaii and
Cuba, which furnish the greater part of
the American supply, sugar plantations
dends a year. In Hawaii the crop has
to be irrigated and fertilized, and this
adds greatly to the cost. On the Next
can plantation both these items are un-
necessary.
New Factories Along River.
| The La Oaxaquena plantation now has
mately, as soon all the adaptable
ground is cleared, have 5000 acres de-
voted to It's cultivation. It is now erect
| ing sugar factory on the plantation.
which when finished, will be one of the
finest and most modern in the world. II
was necessary to buy part Of the ma
chinery in Germany. which country has
some valuable inventions In this line, blu,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
THIRD PRIZE
This story gets s.
A Bad Cough.

In the medical dispensaries Of our
large cities the humber classes receive
medical assistance free gratis and the
following humorous incident is one of
the many which relieve the more pa
thetic side Of such places:
A physician was diagnosing the case
of poor fellow whom he thought to
be in the first stages Of pneumonia.
"Do you cough much9" the doctor
asked, to which the man answered in
the affirmative.
"Do you raise anything9' was the
next question. Then, after thoughtful
elaboration came the patient g reply,
"Yes-s, just few chickens. - >"
--G. l.. Prime.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
"A Close Family Tie.

The late P. T. Barnum was keen
student Of human nature, as well as a
natural humorist. A story that de-
lighted him was connected with the
Siamese twins IL .5 @ lt.-@-
When he was exhibiting those orig
inal freaks, the press Of the country
made them widely known. One day
there came to see them a back-country
rustic, who was perfectly absorbed in
them, and inquisitive enough in regard
to them to require almost bureau Of
information to answer his questions.
Mr.. Barnum happened to be the one
questioned, and was asked their age,
occupation, original home, whether they
were single or married, their weight
and stature, and their religious belief.
Finally, the bucolic visitor. started
slowly, but reluctantly, to leave; but
after walking away a few steps, he re-
turned, and said, with most solemn
simplicity, It. Witt :.@@
''They are brothers, I presume. -
..s~ TT. ~:.| M. V. F., :
.-. =--- =, 4, Austin, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
Hard to Find.

A certain janitor at certain school
threw up his job the other day.
When asked why, he said: "I'm
honest, and I won It stand being slurred.
If ] find a pencil or handkerchief
about the school when I'm sweeping
I put it up. Every little while the
teacher, or some one that is too coward
ly to face me, will give me a slur.
A little while ago I seen wrote on the
board Find the least common
multiple Well, L looked from cellar
to garnet for that thing, and I wouldn t
know the thing if ia meet 1t on the
street. Last night in big writin' on
the blackboard, it said, Find the great
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
Prizes for stories printed on this

Prizes for stories printed on this
page are awarded as Indicated.
For the coming week h e } our
n al again offers SIS, first prize; So
second prize, and So, third prize for
"the best story you ever heard"
1t Is not required that stories be
original, but new and true stories,
retoId In the writer's own words, Will
be considered In the competition.
Write only on one side Of the paper,
giving name and address with each
story. Specify If you want your in
ItIals used as signature. Do not
send clippings or Inclose stamps, as
manuscripts will not be returned.
Stories must not exceed 300 words
and should be of humorous nature.
Omit IntroduotIons, and be brief.
Checks will be sent to prize winners.
Address, Best Story Editor. Jour-
nal, Minneapolis, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25

here and some immense plantations de-
voted to sugar and rubber cultivation
have been successfully established. On
a, trip up the river by steamer one hears
a great deal about La Ventura, which is
owned by J. c. Harvey of San Fran
cisco, CAL; the Baltimore, which is on
the line of the Tehuantepec road and is
largely owned by Mexican capitalists; the
Pearson rubber farm, near TERRA
Blanca, which is owned by Cullen Pear
son Of London, and the La Oaxaquena
plantation, which is oyned by the Ia
basco Plantation company of Minneapo-
lis, MINI. This last named plantation
has frontage Of eighteen miles on the
Coatzacoalcos river, which is, by the
way, the largest river on the isthmus,
and is navigable by large vessels. AS
one goes up the river and catches the
first view Of this great farm from around
bend, the effect1is wildly impressed on
ones memory. Building after building
looms before the vision, and their white
walls and red tiled roofs form a striking
contrast to the general architecture Of
the country. The American for mo-
ment can almost fancy himself back in
| the States -
But this fancy is soon dispelled by the
sight of the acres of sugar cane and rub
Der trees which spread as far as the eye
can reach. .T.,ss.. r. t.. >5sS ,zf,
Fortunes Made In Sugar.
Major Elliott, an American who owns
the hotel and big warehouse at
Santa Lucrecla, was a passenger with
the writer on a river steamer the other
day. He is an observanr man and thor
oughly posted. =
CHOSE fellows" he remarked vaguely,
| pointing in the direction Of the Harvey
and Pearson plantations, ARE going to
make a raft of money. How will they
do it? Rubber. They haven't begun to
| ship yet, but they are tapping the trees,
and every year that passes will give them
bigger production.
'"Then take the Baltimore plantation.
It's always shipping sugar, tons upon
/ tons Of it. It has its own steamer, and
after loading it at the plantation it is
run down to salt water and Its cargo
loaded directly into ocean steamers.
Then there's that Minneapolis crowd
4 that owns the plantation down the river
4 La Oaxaquena. They haven't even got
all their land under cultivation yet, but
i I'm told they are already making money
/ They sell enough beef cattle from thai
ranch to run a pretty good sized slaugh-
/ ter house, and cacao and other produce
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
FIRST PRIZE
This story gets SIS.
Acknowledges the Corn.

Uncle Joe Cannon was telling this
STORY on himself last fall
/ He had taken one Of his country
friends to his city hotel for dinner
Uncle Joe is abnormally fond Of green
corn and devoured seven ears to which
the rest Of his dinner was scarcely q
relish.
The friend looked at the senator
seriously.
How much does it cost you to board
here,'' he asked.
Five dollars a day. said Speaker
Cannon.
HSay,'' returned his friend,
.s*Wouldn t it be q good deal cheaper
at livery stableF' R. D..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
always find a ready market. It's one
of the biggest propositions on this river.
Invasion Of Old Mexico.

Invasion Of Old Mexico.
Comparatively few people are aware OF
the great invasion Of old Mexico now In
progress. In this new and industrial in
Is taking a foremost part, and vast sums
of American money have sought invest
ment in the southern republic, allured
here by the tremendous returns that are
assured by the adoption OF modern meth
DDS. It is conservative estimate to say
that fully $500, 100000 Of American capt.
tai has been invested in Mexico. ..-
To the American mind the mention Of
Mexico Immediately suggests gold, silver
and copper, because the exploitation of
cent date, has always been conducted
with view to It's mineral riches. The
Americans who came down here IN search
Of precious metals did not always find
were not unobservant of the opportuni-
ties that abounded in other directions
They found, for instance, that they
were in one Of the richest agricultural
vast tracts of timber lands which had
never been touched by the ak. but which
were not fully capable of development
until railways had been built. Then
States and enlisted the support of CAPT.
And from that time the awakening Of
Mexico dates. Railways were built and
are still Delng Du1lt, ana American capl-
tai has flowed into the land, and is now
reaping an abundant reward.
Demand for Sugar and Rubber.
gold mine or a silver mine possesses
a fascination and allurement for every
son Of Adam, although 1t Is we'll estab
lished fact that more gold has been sunk
in the development Of mines than has
ever been taken out. Yet the men who
are making great fortunes in Mexico to-
day are not doing SO with mines, except
/ in few isolated instances, but in the
development of the natural resources OF
the soil by agriculture.
Two Of the products Of the soil in
greatest demand throughout the world
today are sugar and rubber. The supply
of both is limited, because both are the
productions Of a tropical climate, and
| one, rubber has, until recent years, been
found only in wild state. The observ-
ant Americans who came down into
Mexico found here the ideal conditions
for the cultivation of both. Land of in
comparable richness could be bought, not
| for song of course, for frst-class
| sugar and rubber lands are not abundant
on the isthmus, and when found bring
fairly good prices. Sugar lands in large
| bodies are, in fact, scarce, and practical
ly all taken up.
The climate conditions were perfect
/ no frost, abundant rainfall cheap labor
and close proximity to markets The re-
i suit has been that many hundreds Of
thousands of acres OF Mexican lands
have been acquired by American inves-
/ tors, and today the sugar and rubber pro-
duction of Mexico is being developed
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
MEETING DATE CHANGED
Special to The Journal.

Special to The Journal !. -
Aberdeen, S. D., March A-Ths
grand lodge of the Knights of Pythias
will meet here June 6. June was the
date set for the gathering, but owing
to the fact that; all the political state
conventions, under the South Dakota
caucus law, will meet on that day,
Grand Chancellor Wade postponed the
date of meeting one day to accommo.
date those members Of the grand lodge
who may be delegates to some one Of
the party conventions. 80.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
Placing the Responsibility.

A story is told by the wife of mem
Der of the house of representatives.
Toward morning, not long ago, the lady
was awakened by unusual noises down
stairs, and tried to rouse her husband.
" Wake up! Wake upl" she said in
low voice. "You must wake up and
60 downstairs; there are thieves in
the house!''
= "Oh, no, my DEAR rejoined the
half -awake husband, reassuringly.
3"There are no thieves in the house;
they are all in the senate.'' III. H.,
= Braddock, N. D.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25

table peddlers engaged in a rather
blasphemous argument. 81.
Intending to rebuke them, he said
to one of the offenders: "My good
man, where did you learn to swear like
that9'' 1884,
"Lord luv yer, guv nor" replied
the brawny peddler, clapping him
genially on. the shoulder, ''ye can It
learn 1t. It's a gift"
49,. F. M. p,
Far1bault, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25

republic. This land is in two separate
tracts; one, the San Miguel ranch being
in the state of Tabasco, and the other,
La Oaxaquena pronounced Wa a-cane-
ya) in the southern part OF this state,
Vera Cruz. The San Miguel tract con-
tains 1908 acres, and La Oaxaquena "a
800 acres.
critics and these other vast tracts of land
was at once begun on scientific and
systematic basis. The cultivation of rub
Der plants and sugarcane, and the con-
version Of the latter into merchandise
sugar were the chief ends the planters
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25

Twain, one Sunday, played joke upon
the rector.
DIR. Doane,o he said at the end Of
the services, 81 enjoyed your sermon
this morning. I welcomed it like an
old friend. have, you know, book
at home containing every word of it. =
You have not said DR.. Doane.
II have so,'' said the humorist.
ssWell, send that book to me, I'D like
to see it,
"I'll send it, Twain replied.
And he sent, the next morning, an
unabridged dictionary to the rector.
Mrs. O. G. Brunius,
~. Carver, M inn.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
Sausage for Tea.

Mrs. Howard Hinokle,,a Cincinnati
lady, has recently had remarkable ex-
perience with. a new Irish girl:
Biddy, !" said she, one evening, we
must have some: sausage for tea this
evening; I expect company. -
Eyes, ma am. >
Tea time arrived, and with 1t the
company, the. table was spread, the tea
was simmering, but no sausage ap-
peared.
"Where is the sausage, Biddys"
inquired Mrs. Hinckle.
"And sure they're in the tay-pot,
a'am! Didn It you tell me we must
have 'em for tayr' IN. f., " =
Owatonna, Mimi.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
How He Advertised.

'Wife-Don It fail to insert an ad for
poor, dear, little lost Fido.
Husband-Fear not.
Wife reads in paper next morning.
'.Ten dollars reward. Lost last Monday, a
measly hair Tipped, cross-eyed, old yellow pup,
answering to the name of Fido Has
no tail, is wild with feas, has a glass eye,
and his whines would make rhtnoceros shud-
der Knows how to bite. Fifty dollars reward
If he is returned In hearse."
Wife faints. u. w.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
Appropriate Music.

A chaplain of the English navy was
giving stereopticon lecture on
Scenes from the Bible" He engaged
sailor who had a phonograph to &C.
company the lecture in the musical se~
lections.
The first picture. shown naturally,
enough was Adam and Eve in, the Gar
den of Eden. The sailor couldn It think
of any appropriate air. "Play,,
whispered the chaplain. -.
The sailor suddenly had an idea. To
the delight Of the. audience the phono-
graph emitted the familiar strain,
"There's Only One Girl in sthe World
for Me- j. L.
-. -. Elma, Iowa. !.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
Philosophical ECONOMY.

A friend received a telegram stating
the death Of his son and .alsot the follow
ing message: -.
"Do you wish your son frozen for
$40 OF embalmed for $50a','.--
His answer was, Freeze him from
his knees up for SIS, he froze his feet
last winter. - r. -~,'.
{ e s. -. Nellie Churchill,
1912 Hennepin Av.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
I.iteratu1n ct Spellatum.

An Iowa paper tells of city ply
stefan who received the following ur
gent appeal for aid from a country
doctor: II - ..-.-
''Dere dock: I have pashunt who's
physical sines sho that his windpipe
was ulserated of, and his lung hav
dropped into his stummick.: He is I'M
able to soller and I fere his stummick
tube is gon I hav Civ, hymn evrything
under heven without effeckt, his father
is welthy, onerabul and infuenshal, he
is a activ member of the m. e. church
and god nos 1 don t want to lose hymn.
what shall I do ans by. return male
yours in nede.' j. A. S.,
. - t - St. Cloud, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25

''Are you sures'' ag
eyes, SIR" H.. ~.
"Your face looks decidedly ia
miliar; where have seen you before9"
ct am the barkeeper in the saloon
on the corner. - ....,-.. 20. j.. ~-.s2s .
s., Jessie Brown,
9o8 Eighth St. Sc.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
SECOND PRIZE
This story gets So.

His Face Seemed Familiar.
The young man was brought before
The magistrate.
"Have you ever been arrestedf'
Y "No, sir,' was the reply.
Have you ever been in this court
before?'
Ono, sir.''
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
Well Parted.

"What passed between yourself and
the. COMPLAINANT inquired the magis:
trate in county court. -.
" I think, sor," replied the worthy
Mr.. O'Brien, ga half dozen bricks and
lump of paving stone.|' M. c.,
=. W. +@.. Braddock, N. D.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
, Would. Not, Need II.

"A thermometer was stolen from one
of the downtown stores. The next day
a placard was placed on the outside
Of the, store, reading ..--r..5.....
1.-THE person who stole the Their
mometer from this store will please
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25

his baggage. Everybody helped hunt
for it till they were tired and finally
someone asked him if he had any idea
of how he lost it. = - - -
"Why, mon," he replied, " the cork
came out. -Rillie, Porter.
Portage la Prairie, Man.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
Had to Come Out Some Time.

The proverbial strained relations be-
tween the young husband and his
mother-in..law existed in this case
Young man. the wife's mother re-
marked one day, 81 saw you coming
out Of barroom the other day."
yes retorted the young man, 81
had to catch train.o -
Frank E. Foster,
Iowa Falls, Iowa.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25

return it. He viii not need it where
he is going as it only registers 100 de-
grees.' Irene johnson.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25

How He Wanted His Breakfast.
Wife Con an ocean steamer -Shall I
have your breakfast brought to the
room, deare
Husband (Feebly) No, Just order
1t thrown overheard. ; HI. L. K.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
Hard to Distinguish.

Hard to Distinguish. -.
First Drummer formerly used to
place my watch under the pillow when
stopping at hotels, but have ceased
doing SO. ,-.-~
Second Drummer-Whys -
First Drummer-O, because I cannot
tell whether 1t is the watch or bed
ticking, sees W. L. W,
s-. Fargo, N. D.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25

est common divisor.' WELL says
to myself, both of them things are
lost now; and I III be accused Of taking
them, so I'll just quit. - u. s.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
She Paused to Reply.

Anna Dickinson was leoturing some
years ago In Chicago. In her lecture
she paused and queried, "Oh, why was
I born9'
Someone called out In the gallery,
"It can't be helped now; 60 on
Mrs. Hunt,
908 Third Ave. 8.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
A Scotchman's Baggage.

A Scotchman who had just arrived
in Winnipeg from the old country was
making great stew about having lost
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25

A Gift Of Genius.
A dignifed bishop while passing
along London street heard three vege-
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25

with a rapidity that promises within a
few years to make this country the great
est producer Of these commodities in the
world.
Works Along Modern Lines.
Good Illustrations Of the way in which
these Mexican properties are being de-
veloped, and are making fortunes for
their owners, are furnished by the Har-
vey properties owned In California. and
more recently by the Minneapolis com
pany's plantations. This company a few
years ago came down here and bought
82,1O8 acres Of the richest land in the
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
A Mark Twain "Reminiscences.

A Mark Twain "Reminiscences. ,
Bishop Doane was at one time the
rector Of an Episcopal church. in Hart
ford, and the services at this church
Mark Twain would occasionally attend.
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-27

W. 8. Gustin, special agent of the
general land Office, has been assigned
to the Garfield land district. taking
the place vacated by Sidney Miller.
Mr.. Gustin was for several years chief
clerk of the Pueblo land Office but has
recently served as chief clerk in the
mineral division Of the general land
Office at Washington. D. C. He ex-
poets soon to move his family to
Glenwood as he expects to make this
his home.
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-27

The liberal manner in which the
people all over this section Of the
county are subscribing for the Post
and paying their old subscription &C.
counts. clearly indicates two things,
viz: that the Post is popular with the
people, who find its perusal profitable
and also that there is greater degree
of prosperity than has heretofore ex-
listed. The Post is glad to receive
the patronage on either basis. and
sincerely thanks all subscribers whose
good resolutions have led them to bal
ance their accounts at the beginning
of the year.
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-27

The greatest success achieved in
the last decade BY any "Uncle Tom 9
Cabin" company is tnat won by Leon
w. Washburn's which plays at the
Opera House on Sat-. Jan. 81 OF all
the dramatic successes known. there
are none that equals this great play.
1t is established in popular favor,
theIe as we'll as everywhere else, and
needs no Endorsement from other
cities. 1t Is sufficient to say that 1t
will be presented by an excellent com
pany Of twenty five people and with
new and elaborate scenery gotten up
for this seasons tour. A grand
street parade will be given ut noon.
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-27

The announcement of the coming of
Stetson's "Uncle Tom's s Cabin"to the
Opera House on Sat, Jan.27 will be
pleasant news to our amusement CO.
ers. Every season it visits US and
the reason it retains interest and
keeps patronage at the high-wster
mark lies in the fact that Manager
Washburn has added some features to
please and interest. This season is
no exception and we are assured that
the production will excel in at
tractiveness anything yet seen under
the title of this old dramatic land
mark. The colored contingent has
ben materially added to.
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-27
MRS. TULLY. President.

B. Strell. a shot lighter employed
at South Canon, was painfully burned
about the head and arms on Monday
BY the explosion of small accumula
tion Of gas in one Of the chambers of
the mine. The explosion occurred
about noon. when all the men we're
out of the mine, with the exception of
Strell. who had remained behind to
fire OF some shots. DR.. Crook was
hastily summoned to treat the injured
man, and found that he had suffered
burns about tho head. ears and hands,
which will Law Strell up for Tome
time, but will not have any more
serious result.
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-27

A very enjoyable meeting of the
Glenwood Reading club was held
with Mrs. B. T. Napier Monday
night. Jan. %, and It was unusually
entertaining. The program was as
follows: Topography of Russia, :"
Mrs. st. Clail; "Czars Of Russia, :"
Mis-. Napier; "Russian Women and
Higher Education. Mrs. Robinson.
The next meeting will be with Mrs.
Napier. she being unable to meet
elsewhere.
MRS. TULLY, President.
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-27

About fifteen members of the Hold
up club went up to Eagle last Satur.
day upon invitation of Mrs. Louis
SchWarz who entertained all In q
most royal manner. An excellent
luncheon was served at the Hotel
Montgomery and the day was delight
fully spent, the party returning on
train No /.