davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
A BOYS BREAKFAST.
There's a Natural Food that Makes
tfE Own Way.

ats own Way.
There's a boy up in Hoosick Falls,
n. Y, who is growing into sturdy
manhood on Grape-Nuts breakfasts. 1t
might have been different with him,
as his mother explains:
My 11-year-old boy is large, well
developed and active, and has been
made so by his fondness for Grape
Nuts food. At years he was a very
nervous child and was subject to fire.
Quent attacks of indigestion which
used TO rob him of his strength and
We're very troublesome to deal with.
He never seemed to care for anything
for his breakfast until | tried Grape
Nuts, and have never had to change
from that. He makes his entire break
fast of Grape-Nuts food. 1t is always
relished by him and he says that it
satisfies him better than the ordinary
kind of q meal
Better than all he is no longer trou-
bled with indigestion or nervousness,
and has got to be a splendidly devel-
oped fellow since he began to use
Grape-Nuts food Name given by
Postum Company. Battle Creek. Mich.
There's a reason. Read the little
book, THE Road to MELVILLE" in
pkgs.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
Curious Medical Phenomena.

A Philadelphia physician, while
making a social visit at the house of
a friend, CHANGED to meet a colleague
After some general conversation, a re-
mark was made that gave profes,
sional turn to the talk The irst ply,
stefan said:
"You know one may look into the
throat of a child and determine upon
which foot it is standing merely by
the way in which the blood collects
on the other side of the BODY
"a more remarkable fact than that, y
observed the second doctor, sis that
by manual training you can actually
increase the size of the brain of a
stupid child, so that by proper mental
exercise it develops marked degree
Of intelligence"
1t is probable that the host began
to suspect that his medical friends
were trying to chair him; at any
rate, he, as layman, contributed the
following extraordinary addition to the
stock of medical knowledge:
Gentlemen" said he, 1.-THE facts you
mention are nothing compared to one
coming under my own observation. I
have actually seen man who by look
ing in his pocketbook could tell you
what he was to have for dinner !''-
Success Magazine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
Sound Familiar.

eff the sentiments contained in our
popular songs were more loftily and
POLITICALLY expressed, they would lose
nothing of their effect" Take this home
and try it on your piano.
Toll; wearing toll, is the unhappy lot
OF all our humble family save one
The hoary-headed man who calls me
son,
My honored sire, he only labors not.
From dawn to dusk, in his accustomed
spot,
Where glows the log the rudy hearth
upon,
Rests he, in silence ever, moved OF
none,
And burns tobacco noisomely, God wot
Natheless the others idle not at all,
For Ger a steaming caldron, 10 there
bends
The form of mother, moiling all the
day;
And sister, too-sweet Ann, so fair and
To the same task her young assistance
lends,
While only pater whites his time away
Cleveland Leader.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
Not Likely 70 Escaue.

Henry Vignaud, secretary of the
American Embassy at Paris, enjoys
telling of an American who was being
shown the tomb of Napoleon. As the
loquacious guide referred to the va
riOus points of interest in connection
with the tomb, the American evinced
the greatest interest in all that was
said.
This immense sarcOphagus," de-
claimed the guide weighs forty tons.
Inside of that, sir, is a steel receptacle
weighing twelve tons, and inside of
that is a leaden casket Theoretically
sealed, weighing over two tons. Inside
of that rests mahogany coffin con-
tanning the remains of the great man.
For a moment the American was
silent. as if in deep meditation Then
he said
1T seems to me that you've got him
all right If he ever gets out, cable
me at my expense. Success Magazine
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
Gave Two Good Reasons

Professor Booth LOwrey. the lecturer,
is fond of telling stories of courtrooms.
His favorites emanate from the court
of an old Virginia judge, noted as Il
stickler for court ceremony and who
is seriously handicapped in his efforts
through the personality Of the wit
nesses with whom he generally has to
deal Their answers to his sonorous
questions are often ridiculous.
This particular judge once had a
damage suit before him which necessi-
tated the appearance of several wit
nesses. Knowing almost every person
in his jurisdiction, it was his custom
to see that the witnesses were always
in court at the proper time. While the
clerk was calling the names of the
witnesses in this case he came to the
name of James Brown, which no one
in the room claimed to possess. Know.
ing James as a ne'er-do-welI, the judge
could not understand his absence.
Does anyone in this court know a
good reason why James Brown should
not be here?" he finally queried.
After a short silence the question
was repeated, when another. witness
spoke up.
Eyes, sir, judge" he said, 81 know of
two reasons why he should not be
here
well, what are they?" asked the
judge.
''One is,'' said the witness, chat Jim
died last night and the second is that
he is still dead. Louisville Courier
Journal
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15

1421-Henry V. entered London after
conquest of France.
1556-Truce for FIVE years signed by
Germany and France.
1616-Jacob LIE Marie discovered Cape
of Good Hope.
1626-Charles |. of England crowned at
Westminster.
l649-King Charles I. beheaded.
l653-New York City incorporated.
l692-Massacre of Glencoe, Scotland.
i717-Great Britain granted letters of
marque and reprisal against America.
l798-Federal Street theater, Boston, de-
stroyed by fire.
1SOT-Montevideo taken by the British.
1S09-Territory of Illinois established.
1880 Independence of Greece proclaim
ed by allied powers.
Attempted assassination of Presi-
dent Jackson at the capitol by l..
Lawrence.
1S48-Treaty of peace signed by United
States and Mexico.
1S55-Trial of steam engine Miles Green
wood, built at Cincinnati. =. Gold
discovered in Kern river, California.
1S56-Thermometer registered 80 degrees
below in Kansas. Gillian war
steamer Cazadon lost; 31S persisted.
1S5S-Launch of the steamship Great
Eastern.
1S61-Convention of seeding States met
at Montgomery, Ala.
1S65-Thirteenth amendment to the
Constitution abolishing slavery.
INSTRUMENTATION of Mexico by the
French.
1S6S-Act exempting cotton from inter
nal tax.
1872 Massacre of Jews at Ismael, Rou-
mania.
1S73-Postal franking privilege abolished
by act of Congress.
1S74-London's great fire.
1S75-The amended civil rights bill pass
ed the House of Representatives.
1876 National League of Baseball Clubs
organized at Cincinnati.
1S7S-Steamship Metropolis wrecked near
Kitty Hawk, n. c.; 100 lives lost.
1SS1-Parnell and Irish associates re-
moved from House of Commons.
1SS4-Baker Pasha defeated by Egyp-
tians near Tokar loss $500.
shot by a woman i'm New York City.
80. Gen. Gordon killed.
1SS6-Attempt to assassinate President
of Ecuador q. House passed Dingley
shipping bill.
1oo7-Stanley started to relieve Emin
Pasha. President signed interstate
commerce bill.
1SSS-Lick observatory completed at
Hamilton, Cal.
1SS9-Crown Prince Rudolph of Austria
murdered Two million dollar fire
in Buffalo Dissolution of Panama
Canal Company by Paris court
1S90-State capital of Arizona removed
from Prescott to Phoenix. -. Discov-
cry of plot to assassinate Prince Fer
dinand of Bulgaria Wife and
daughter of Secretary of the Navy
Tracy fatally burned.
1S91-Dissolution of the Canadian Par
lament.
1S93-Hawaiian commission reached
Washington.
1S94-United States ship Kearsarge
wrecked on Roncador reef Vail
liant, the anarchist bomb thrower,
guillotined in Paris.
1S95-Steamship Elbe sunk and 800 lives
lost. Queen Liliuokalani formally
abdicated throne of Hawaii
State capitol at
Harrisburg burned :. Alaska boun-
Diary treaty signed.
1900-William GOebel, contestant for
governorship of Kentucky, shot
190o-United States Supreme Court rem
dered decision against the Beef
Trust"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
Reciprocity.

Mr.. Rental was annoyed with Mr..
Shorter. 1t was not only that Mr.
Shorter never paid his rent-though
that was bad enough-but he was so
extremely cool about it. Another Mon
day morning had come, and once
more Mr.. Shorter was ''sorry, but he'd
have to beg Mr.. Rental to excuse him
for the time"
The long-sunering landlords pa
thence was at last worn out
Look here" he cried, you're pre-
cious off-handed about it: but how on
earth do you expect me to live if you
don't pay your rent?'
Mr.. Shorter smiled the surprised
smile which cheers not but exasper-
ates.
That, my dear SIR he said softly.
lis to my thinking. somewhat beside
the point. The question is, rather.
how DO you expect me to live if | do p,
-Tit-Bits.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
WILD WITH ITCHING HUMoR.
Eruption Broke Out in Spots All Over
Body-Cured at Expense of Only
81 2h-Th anlzs C11tinura

Eruption Broke Out in Spots All Over
Body-Cured at Expense of Only
$1.25-Thanks Cuticura.
1.-The Cuticura Remedies cured me of
my skin disease, and l am very thank
full to you. My trouble was eruption
of the skin, which broke out in spots
all over my body, and caused a con-
tinual itching which nearly drove me
wild at times. l got medicine of
doctor, but it did not cure me, and
when | saw in paper your ad., sent
to you for the Cuticura book and
studied my case in it. l then went to
the drug store and bought one cake Of
Cuticura Soap, one box of Cuticura
Ointment, and one vial Of Cuticura
Pills. From the first application re-
ceived relief. 4 used the first set and
two extra cakes of Cuticura Soap, and
was completely cured. / had suffered
for two years, and again thank Cuti-
cura for my cure. Claude n. Johnson,
Maple Grove Farm, r. f.. ID. 2, Wal
nut, Kan, June 10, 1905
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
ANHMIA CAN BE CURED
DR.. wiIliarns' Pink Pills Make New
Blood and Strike Straight st,the
Root of Disease.

Armenia is just the DOCTORS name for
bloodlessness. DIR. Williams Pink Pills
actually make new blood. They cure
an>emia justas food cures hunger. They
cured Mrs. Thos. j. McGann, of II
Lincoln Place, Plaintield, Nj :, and they
candC Is much for any other pale, weak,
ailing, .bloodless person.
Z" In the spring of 1903 j, did my usual
house cleaning" says Mrs. McGann,
land soon afterward began to have the
most terrible headaches. My heart
would beat so lrregularly that it was
painful and there came morning when
couldnotgetu My doctor said had
anRmiaand he was surprised that had
continued to live in the condition | was
III. i WAS confined to my bed for nearly
two months, the doctor coming every
day for the first few weeks, but | did
not Improve to amount to ANYTHING
Altogether Il was sick for nearly two
years. i WAS as weak as a rag, had
headaches, irregular heart beats, loss of
appetite, cramps i'll the limbs and was
unable to get n good nights sleep. My
legs and feet were so swollen that /
feared they would burst.
One day, while i waslwondering b nw
long could live, feeling as i did, / re-
ceived n booklet telling about DR.. Will
liaIns' Pink Pills for Pale People.
read it and told my husband TO get me
some of the pills. Before the first box
was gone felt a change for the better.
] have taken about twelve boxes: and al
though L was rs near the grave as Il could
be, / NOW feel as if j had new lease of
life. 1 have nomore headache, the heart
beats regularly, my cheeks are mink and
j feel ten years younger. i feel that I
have been cured very cheapIy and have
recommended DR. Williams Pink Pills
10 lots of my friends"
For further information address the
DR.. Williams Medicine Co, Scheneo-
thdy, n. Y.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
BOY RAN DOWN A FISH.
Feat of an Indian Lad in Capturing
Big Sturgeon.

The lake was rather on the window
pane order, that beautiful, smooth
surface bending and cracking with
metallic ring as the young Siwash
glided swiftly along. The very peb-
bles Of the bottom could be counted
through the CLASSY ice as the rays of
the morning sun cleaned through it
and through the waters beneath it.
says Field and Stream. Soon the long
form of basking sturgeon was seen.
The great fish lay motionless. not far
from shore. The Siwash skated over
it. The sturgeon moved off slowly,
the Indian keeping directly above. The
fish gathered speed to escape the i'm
minent threatening shadow. The pur-
suer skated swiftly along, following
every turn of the quarry. The stur-
geon now became panic-stricken and
the chase was on in earnest. Out to
the deeps, back to the shadows, sped
the fish wildly, with every turn and
curve and angle that the ingenuity of
terror could suggest. The Indian
skated magnifcently, and matched
speed for speed, turn for turn, angle
for angle, with the fish Skater and
swimmer were always in a vertical
line. For full hour the chase kept
Up, the sturgeon now noticeahly
wearying, the Indian fresh as at the
start
Now the speed slackened. but the
Indians gliding form was still always
directly above the fish. The surgeons
struggles became spasmodic. Now he
stopped motionless, but for the quick
beating gills; now he darted like light
ming ten or a dozen yards. The In
dian remorselessly logged his victim
At last the fish turned upon his side,
exhausted. The Indian cautiously
sprawled fiat upon the thin ice and
tapped it sharply; another dart by the
fish. Again the Indian lay down and
tapped the ice. The flesh was too ex-
hausted to respond. Now the Indian
broke a small hole in the ice and
Plunged a long harpoon through the
gills of the sturgeon. The blood issued
III a red cloud, diffusing in the clear
water; the violent struggles of the fish
became weaker and weaker, till it
fioated dead beneath the ice Then it
was cut up and the skater dragged it
away in triumph to the camp.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
LABOR'S GREAT TRIUMPH.
Trade UniOnism Creates New Or
der in British Politics.


der in British Politics.
The greatest surprise in the recent
elections in Great Britain was the large
number of labor representatives return
ed to Parliament Hitherto labor has
been a rather negligible quantity in Brit
ish politics, notwithstanding the fact that
workingmen have sat in Parliament since
the early SOS, but now it must be reck-
oned with both within and outside leg
islative halls. Before the onslaught made
by labor in the British constituencies,
Unionists, titled, knighted and moneyed,
went down; Conservative strongholds
were carried. and Liberals were either
defeated or had their majorities reduced.
A cotton spinner captured Sir James
Fergusson's seat in Manchester; mill
hand beat Sir Ernest Flower in Brad
ford printers headed the poll at Nor
witch, Burnley, Manchester and Deptford !;
navy, who was once employed in
excavations for the Manchester ship
canal, is member for Stoke-onTrent; a
railway guard has a majority of over
1000 at Newcastle-on-Tyne, where Mr..
Morley once suffered defeat. An obscure
collier distanced a mine owner; a cotton
operative vanquished Lord Goschen's son
at Bolton, a stonemason's son and a
warehouse clerk each won by 1900 votes
at Leicester over Sir John Rolleston; a
laster in a boot factory carried a Welver-
hampton seat against Sir Alfred Hick-
man miners have been victorious at Nor
peth and in Glamorganshire furniture
maker, who had begun life in mineral
water factory, triumphs at Leeds; and
men who have been carpenters, ship
wIights, steel smelters, sailors, engineers,
mechanics, pitmen and even newsboys
are sent to Parliament in place of uni
versity men, baronets with large estates,
ship owners, manufacturers, bankers and
the sons of earls- They may not be
working at their trades now, but they
have sprung from the toiling millions,
and their election in such numbers is a
triumph for Democracy.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
A}zazNeEGfs94k!es2 g 3

King Edward recently presented the
King of Norway with a magnificent pair
of carriage horses.
NJ. Fallieres, the new President Of
France, is noted for his devotion to a
simple country life
Sir Walter Gilbey bears the reputation
of being one of the greatest living, au-
thorities on all kinds of sports.
Sir Oliver Lodge, whose name is fam
ous in connection with psychical research
was put into business at the age of IA.
Count Boni de Castelane has published
book containing his speeches and arti-
Giles since 1901 on the foreign policy of
France.
Showgio Tamura, one of Japan's best
known novelists, expects to be graduated
from the Indiana university with the
class of 1907.
The phrase of 'the grand old man. as
Applied to Mr.. Gladstone, is credited to
the Rev Edward Lloyd Jones of Man
chester, England.
The Car of Russia, who is considera-
bly, below the average height of men, is
fully a head shorter than his beautiful
and majestic Czarina.
Sir Robert Reid, the new lord chancel-
lor of Great Britain, has a face so typic-
ally English. that he has been called the
intellectual John Bull
NJ Casimir Perier, who once resigned
the French presidency. recently received
a unique decoration, the gold medal of
the Assistance Public" which is vastly
more rare than the Legion of Honor has
become in these later times
The real name of Gabrielle d'Arnunzio.
the Italian novelist, is Rapaguetta. His
father-in-law was due de Gallese. a
Frenchman. who received permission TO
take that title on marrying the widow
of former duke. The author is now
trying to obtain a divorce
Pope Plus is said to be the first pom
tiff of the Roman Catholic church to in
dulg, in cigars, his predecessors. notably
Piux IN and Leo MIL, having content
ed themselves with snuff.
Sir George Rose, former English
master in chancery, was a famous W..
On one occasion he said to jury: DO
YOU not see, gentlemen, that my lori be-
fore trying my client has tried Joke and
reserved the point?"
The youngest king in the world is
Dsudi Chua of Uganda, Africa, protec-
torate of England. He is now about s
md holds court seated on scarlet thron-
with leopard skin under his feet and
bearing in his hand toy gun.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
The Supreme Court.

Ascunl-I think it's a splendid OPP
portunity for you. What are you go
ing to do about it?
Henpeck-I haven't the slightest
idea.
Ascum-But surely you can give an
opinion.
Henpeck-O, gracious! No, my wife
always hands down the opinion
Philadelphia Press
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15

FRED A. BUssE. mail are left undis
tributed each night. Pneumatic tubes in
the new postofhce which cost $4,000 to
install are practically useless because
there are not enough clerks to take the
mail promptly to them, and they are idle
much of the time. Machinery in the new
building which cost 100000 is also prov
ing more of a hindranee than a benefit
because it requires quite a number of
clerks to operate it, and that number
has been taken from the regular force,
which was inadequate before.
While the government officials at
Washington are aware of the conditions,
they have said that Chicago cannot .ex-
pect relief before July !, when next years
appropriation becomes available. Post
master Busse has gone to Washington to
make one more appeal for more help to
conduct the business as he thinks it
ghould be-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
Deafness Cannot be Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach
the diseased portion of the ear. There Is
only one way to cure deafness, and that is
by constitutional remedies. Deafness is
caused by an inf1amed condition of the mu-
cous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When
this tube is infiamed you have rumbling
sound or imperfect hearing, and when it is
entirely closed, Deafness is the result and
unless the Inflammation can be taken out
and this tube restored 80 its normal condi-
ton, hearing will be destroyed forever;
nine cases out of ten are caused by Ca
tarrh, which is nothing but an in1amed con-
dition of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for
any case of Deafness (caused by catarrh)
that cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh
Cure Send for circulars, free.
F. ]. CHENEY & CO, Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
sure Winner.

The Man-T'he girl looks upon my
suit with favor, but both her father
and mother oppose it.
The Maid-Then 1 may as well con
graduate you.
The Man-NhX, pray?
The Maid-You are sure to be elect
ed by an overwhelming minority.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
An Amendment Accented.

Sometimes l think my typewriter
knows more than do" remarked the
New York orator 81 was debating
a speech to her this morning and
said The ballot is sacred"
"A very proper sentiment"
But she changed it. She mixed the
letters of the last word a little and
changed 1T to scared" "-WasAl ngton
Star.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
Secret Out.

How do you manage to distinguish
between rheumatism and govt, doc
tort" queried the medical student.
by consulting the books" replied
the eminent physician.
by consulting the booksv' echoed
the embryo NJ. ID.
Yes" answered the eminent physi-
clan. Il look up the patients rating
with the commercial agencies See?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
Not to BE Disturbed.

''SoSly craclRers2 Yes'm," said the
country storekeeper. Il got 'em. I'll
-er-send 'em up to yOu!''
Well" replied Mrs. Medders, II did
TOW TO take 'em with me-
'1es'm, but, We see, Bill Bruser he's
a-dozin OH top O the bar,l jest rNw
an he amt in the best % hum to-
day.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
"a "a 90

The enormous crops on our seed farms
the past season compel us to issue this
special catalogue
SEND THIS NOTICE TO-DAY.
and receive the radishes and the wonder
full Bargain Book free.
Remit &c and we add a package of Cos
mos. the most fashionable, serviceable,
beautiful annual flower.
John A. Salzer Seed Co, Lock Drawer
c., La Crosse, Wis.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
Sizing Him ITn.

I'm glad to see you in our midst
again." said the village editor, who
was built like a pair of tongs, as he
shook hands with the obese postmas-
ter, who had just returned from a
two weeks vacation.
Get out,'' exclaimed the P. NJ. as
he looked the thin party over. You
haven't any midst"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
All He Needed,

Don't you play any of the popular
airs:' asked the man who was attend
ing to the details of Il convention.
No" answered the leader "Fhis
is a political band. We don't play
anythi : but Hail TO the Chief Star
Spangled Banner and He's a Jolly
Good Fellow Washington Star.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-02-15
Greek Meeting Greek.

You say here" began the city editor,
severely, that silence fell Did you
hear it faIl?"
The reporter was not abashed by the
sarcasm.
No" he said. Il didn't exactly hear
it fall, but l heard them breaking it
little later