Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-07-28
WHY HE STOOD PATI

Mr.. Newpop, father OF nrst-born son
aetat eight months, stood pat on his oppo-
sition TO his wife's proposition.
Nope he said with great positiveness.
Nothing like that's going to come on. !"
'But," she began, ''it's the sweetest
-huh-that's all right about che sweet
est and the rest of it--but the scheme don't
CO. That's ALL
But the darling would look SO cum
nin'-''
Maybe that's your view. but can't see
the cunnin' part OF IT.
And all of the babies are being taken
that"
Il don't care If all the babies In the
world are being taken that way. my son
isn't going to be taken that way.
But you're so stubborn, and the dear
is going to have his picture taken Ike
a human being-not like a savage kid picked
up by some missionary on the banks OF the
Aruwisni river, near Lake Nyanza Victoria,
in Africa
but can't you see that he's got such
fat, cute legs
Il can see his legs all right, but I have
spoke.
child OF his age. and
Gust like his Herculean dad In THAI re-
spect but that doesn't make any diner-
ence.'
aAnd he'd look just the dearest ever. sit
ting or standing In big washbowl, and
MY dear, cut in Mr.. Newpop, with the
tone of fnality, IT don't care what IN
blazes the young 'un stanos OF s.,s So, ~.
but whatever he sits or stands IN when ne
has this first picture of his taken. he's go
ing to have his regular quota OF clothes
on. and that's all there Is about It. mace
IN nv mind to this about twenty years
ago. or some such matter. and I'm going
to get away with 1t. want to pc agree
able and all that, and I'm willing to grant
you your way in almost any other oio
noint that comes up-but no kid OF mine Is
going to have his picture taken IN nakeo
condition l don't take this stand Decauso
I'm priggish or truly good or prtsms-and-
prunesish or because I'm ashamed OF tue
Young 'uu's physical conformation. or any
thing of that sort whatever It's SIMPLY
that I'm protecting the interests OF TING
boy, as swore would when l was grow
ing up, IN case 1 Should ever nave oAi'
children of my own.
my own mother, bless her memory ana
her foolish, loyal heart. had me photo--
graphed when was about six months oio
and couldn't hefp myself, without any LOBE
on. and that picture was the bane of my
life for many years. / was represented loit-e
ing back In deep chair, rat wac OF no-
accountness, with my mouth Wioe opsn'
and a yacuous grin on my race, ana not q
solitary stitch or rag on any part or my
person, and that picture, stuck as II was
I'm the fore part OF the old family photo
RraDh album, was d 1ulSiuCS diio a. ~.
and humiliation to me during all the
years of my young life at home. People
visiting the house 'ud turn to 1t, and, Wnen
they caught sight of it, giggle and look up
ing around, and then they'd giggie anu
snort and make me feel cheap Little
girls with whom I was trying to make
hit when / was around the age or ten OF
some such matter would, when they visited
my sisters on rainy afternoons, catch sight
of that miserable photograph OF me, anu
then 1t 'ud be all off. All of the romance
would be knocked out OF my little game.
and they'd just roll on the floor and gigSie
themselves almost to death over the funni-
ness of that unspeakable photograph.
MY old maiden aunts, visiting my
mother. would come upon the picture. and
then they'd get to talking with mother
about all of the miserable infant COM
plants with which I'd been afflicted during
the days of that photograph. and then
they'd fall to conversing upon what howl
ing young 'un I'd been, and how I'd kept
the neighborhood awake for weeks while l
was teething, and throw up all OF the mean
and onnery and common things ever aiq
when I was less than a year old. until L
felt like something that had butted into the
world by mistake and that I'd never had
the least license to be born. And other
elderly relatives would project themselves
along and catch a view of that picture, Of
which they all had copies tucked away
somewhere, and make cracks about what
fat slob I'd been at the time the picture
as grew to manhood the thing grew worse.
l was hopelessly. madly in love with a girl
who was visiting my sisters, from their
school during the holidays during my
eighteenth year but when she saw that
photograph OF me, with my toes a-wrig
Cling and my fat legs cooked up, she like
to've laughed herself to death, and all of
the poses that / tried to put on about be-
ing ready to commit suicide If she threw
me down went for nothing after she'd seen
the picture-she frankly told me that she
couldn't so much as look at me without
thinking of that photograph, and wasn't it
too ridlculously funny, and hadn't been
absurdly fat and solemn-and all that sort
of gruelling thing.
mix, my dear. Sorry. But I've got the
boy to consider, and 1 know just how re-
sentful he'd feel about it when he grew up
IL stood for his having his picture taken
now in his helpless infancy without any
OF his rightful swaddlings on. And I'm
not laying up trouble for myself in the fu-
ture. wondered, l know, why my father
hadn't had the gumption. at the time was
photographed clothesless. to step in and
flag that foolishness, and if I allowed our
youngster to be taken that way he'd have
the same wonder a-eoming about me when
he grew up. I regret that you look as if
you're going to take it to heart, but I'm
sticking on this proposition. and the boy is
not going to have any picture of himself
taken naked while Pm awake enough to
keep him from that calamity"
Mr.. Newpop is still standing pat on his
view OF the matter. and has got by with 1t
I'D to date