The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-07-07

you are not Il QUICK CllUlDeI.
' "Neyer whistle while waiting TO
some one to play. Whistling Is. not II
good taste Go over and bite out cou
/ pie Of tunes on the piano
when your opponent trumps an ac
| don't ever hit him carelessly across thu
forehead with the bric-a-brac Away
, remember when you are in society tina
bric-a-brac is expensive.
Don't lead the ten of clubs by mis-
take for the ace of trumps and then ge
: mad and jump II feet in the air because
! they refuse to let You pull it back
In order to jump II feet in the ali
you would have to go through the room
upstairs, EMO now do you know WHOSE
room if is?
There, Gladys, if you follow these
rules J think you can play the game OF
bridge whist without putting bruise
on the Monroe doctrine.
"P. S,--When you play for money al
ways bite the coin TO see if it means
as much as it looks"
The next day, in order to square my
self with my wife for getting a letter |
hadn't any use for, went to one of those
, New York department stores to get her
Il birthday present
Say! did You ever get tangled up in
one Of those department store mobs and
/ have a crowd of perfect ladies use you
for door mat?
/ I got mine,
/ They certainly taught me the Ro-
1 jestvenslly glide, all right!
At the door Of the department store a
nice young man with pink neclitie ana
a quick forehead bowed to me-
what do you wish?" he asked
Well" / said, I'm down here to get
a birthday present for my wife. would
like something which would afford her
great pleasure when give it to her and
which could use afterwards as a pen
wiper or a fishing-rod."
Second floor; to the right; take the
elevator" said the man,
Did you ever try to take an elevator in
a department store and find hat 3943
other American citizens and citizenettes
were also trying to take the same ele-
vatOr?
How sweet it Is to mingle in the arms
Of utter strangers and to feel the gentle
pressure of foot we never hope to meet
againl
| was standing by one of the counters
on the second floor when a shrill voice
crept mp over a few bales of dry goods
and said: Are you a buyer or a han
dler?"
7 am looking for a birthday present
FOR my wife, / answered. 81 want to
get something that will look swell cn.,
The parlor table and may be used later
on as a tobacco jar or q trouser
stretcher!"
Fourth floor; to the left: take tho
elevator said the lady's voice
With bowed head I walked away.
began to feel sorry for my wife
Nobody seemed to be very much in.
tere7ted whether she got a birthday |
present or not
On tho fourth floor | stopped at a
counter where a lot of eager danes We're /
paving over some chinchilla ribbon and /
chiffon Overskirts.
II reminded me of the way our dog /
digs mp the vegetables in the garden.
! enjoyed the excitement of the game |
for about ten minutes and then said /,
TO the flerk behind the counter who was
rcforceing the match. "Cau ,ou tell
me where ! can buy a sterling SILVER
present for my wife which /
could use afterwards as night key or
a bath sponpc?'
Fifth floor, to the rear; take he ele-
sator'' said the clerk.
On The fifth floor 7 went over TO Ia
bic whore Young lady was selling 1.-THE
Life and Libraries Of Andrew Cnrneeie'
p four dollars q month and 80 cents n
week. and in three years Ct is yours IL
YOU don't lose the receipts
She gave me q glad smile and felt
b thrill Of encouragement.
Excuse me. - said. but am looking
or birthday present for my wife which
viii make an the neighbors jealous. ana
which I can use afterwards as an ash
receiver or a pocket flask"
The young lady cut out the Eirgles and
lOinted 10 the northwest.
I went over there
To my surprise found another coun-
err
A pale young woman wac behind it,
I was Just about TO ask her the fatal
question when a young man wearing a ,
actime expression on his face rushed /.
IN and said to the young lady behind /.
be counter: u an looklnr for "a suit
Die present fer "a young lady friend ri !.
nine with golden brown hair. Could !
on please suggest something"
The zaieslady showed her teeth and q,
u7wfrel him in % iow. r7mh.np voice
NJ fte man went way
Then came an Ola 1ady who said. q i
Hl- ama -an1ie dress goods for n
-Ai-w ia T'aela- auI would e.
FL. ---h rr- -h-rl FOR q music hor n
l- a-~ F.r-h-er'e little Loy Frei5ie. 4 n
81
Eighty-lve per cent Of the oircula-
On n the RnIletfn soes direcflw tnto