davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
1.-The Passing of the Bumpkin.

The esteemed Brooklyn Eagle has
made the discovery that the extern
sion of the rural free delivery sys-
TEN, suburban trolleys, and teie-
phones into the rural districts have
resulted in the passing of the bump
kin. the elimination of the Jay from
Jayville. The Eagle takes apparent
pleasure in informing the world
that the farmer is now a we'll
dressed man, who cannot be distin-
guished at a glance from his city
cousin.
This is all mighty important. 1t
is a matter of congratulation gener-
ally that even Brooklyn has come to
realization of the fact that the
farmer is no longer distinguished
by the hayseed in his hair. The
farmer has been about the best
dressed man in America for a good
many years. That statement may
sound extreme, but the fact remains
that the American farmer and his
boy have long been better dressed
and better grOOmed than the men
%ho work in the cities. They have
long been better educated than the
average workmen of the cities. They
have been for years less provincial
than the residents of Brooklyn, or
of any of the Eastern cities, for that
matter. The Brooklynites' idea of
farmer is of the stage variety, the
Uncle Josh brand, who swears "by
Heck blows out the gas, and
drinks out of the finger bowl. He
doesn't exist anywhere else.
All the world. however, is pro-
vincial, and there should probably
be no quarrel with the Brooklyn
Eagle on that account. Brooklyn
really feels sorry for the old New
Yorker. and New Workers imagine
that style and sense and sharpness
and smartness cease at Jersey City.
Boston has some difficulty in sup
pressing a desire TO send mission
aries TO New York, and Chicago
poles fun at both the Eastern cities.
while the Bostonian and the New
Yorker have n notion that the Chica-
90 stockyards are fortified all the
time against attacks of Omaha and
Kansas Indians.
The resident of the town Of $4,000
has real heartfelt sympathy for the
jay dweller in the village of 5000,
and the villager pities the poor be-
nighted farmer, whose daughters
are at Vassar and who owns most
of the stock IN the village bank As
a matter of fact, the proposition is
pretty safe that the bigger the town
or the city the more provincial il is.
The farmer of the nation is a
reader, a thinker, and a close stu
dent of human nature. He has al
ways been so He may not be an
adept at lodging automobiles or do
ing contortion stunts on Il" trains
or in the subways. but he is no more
lonesome or awkward in the city
than the city man is in the country
having the advantage all the time
of a purer life. stronger body,
clearer brain. and a better heart. 1t
is about time to quit feeling sorry
for the farmer.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
Aoa5emv-aNo Mother To Guide Her"

Afiss TilIian Mortimer, wei kn0Wn as
an emotional actress, essayed q de-
,,artnra from her regular line OF work
In the comedy drama, mo Mother TO
Guide Her" which opened for week
eugagement at the Academy of Music
Iast nigh Miss Mortimer appears in q
comedy character part IN which she Is
excellent The supporting company al
so IS clever. The scenes of the play are
laid in the country-a fitting background
for a pathetic plot. Stirring situations
and thrilling climaXes iii the piece ana
as a whole, 1t was one OF the best per
foFmances which has appeared IN the
ACADEMY this year
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
Not in His Confidence.

"Tn very anxious 20 see Mr.. Galley"
homer
I'm sure I cant tell YOU replied the
woman at the door he never tells me
that
$50 I am
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
Quarreled Over Marriage.
SARCASM FROM THE HEART.

When you're filed up with fever and
ague and grip and the pipes are a-cIang
IN your steam-heated den. and your
throat is as dry as a rooster's with pip,
its certainly easy TO write jolses then
4zttsburg Post
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
TOO LATE.

There was a foolish man named Tate,
So lazy he preferred 10 wait;
he got u smash
In a bargain crash
When he woke up twas too late.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25

A Denver man has sued a street
railway company for heavy damages
because he was so Injured in an ac-
cident that he cannot close his right
eye. It would seem to be rather an
advantage for a man to be able TO
keep one eye open all the time in
Denver.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
A Good Excuse.

Mother-im ashamed 10 think you
can't do better IN school. Why cant you
lead your ciass2
Willle-Say, Ma. you told me you
didn't want me ever TO be Conceited, an
/ notice when a boy leads the class ne
always gets concelted-
The Washington times., 1906-12-25

'Cncle Joe Cannon makes a modest
lunch OF egg sandwiches" says a Chi
cago paper. Modest, at the present price
OF eggs? Looks more like a determined
effort to fiaunt his ability 10 indulge in
luxuries.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25

That New York Mail critic who finds
fault because a Southern poet makes
"clatter' rhyme with data" is eyi-
IDENTIFY not familiar with the Southern
pronunciation.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25

Colonel Bryan says he has never been
paid anything for his political speeches.
The Republicans ought 10 be ashamed
for having allowed Mr.. Bryan TO do
SO much work for them for nothing.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25

Tom Watson declares that 1t is not
unlikely that he viii be a Presidential
candidate again in 1905. That makes
IL unanimous.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
sENTENCE sFP-IONS.

Very often sorrow is but joy overdone.
When mans wife laughs at his jokes
they are pretty good-or else she is.
Women will never become civilized
while they admire men with whiskers.
A fool has to look wise but a wise
man may look as nc Ileases.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25

Anyway. whatever happens to SEN
ator Smoot, he will not be able to say
that his colleagues took snap Judgment
on him.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25

Arkansas has sent a State Senator to
the pen for grating. A few more
symptoms of that kind and some one
will move TO have Arkansas admitted
into the Union.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25

Brander Matthews says the cause Of
simplified spelling is growing more pop
ular every day. Senator Depew will
please take of that prize optimist belt
and hand il over to Mr.. Matthews.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25

The child, labor does not prohibit the
activities Of those in their second child
hood. but ii should.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
OUR

Contributions to Our Literary De-
partment have been rapidly piling
Up, and among them so many time
ly gems concerning Christmas that a
few Of them just now would not be out
of placs.
Dear Mr. Editor.-T send you here
with five touching little verses on
Christmas for your literary department.
For years we have been used to the
sing-sOng sort ali along the same line,
and / thought a little innovation IN
Christmas verse might prove refreshing.
What is your opinion? Nj. 4. SOCK.
Everett
CHRISTMAS LOAD.
Is that merry man who walks
Old Santa with his load?
How he laughs and sings AID talks.
How he staggers as he walks,
With his burden how he stalks,
Coming down the road,
No, tis not Santa Claus who walks,
But father with his load!
REGRETS.
Hang up the babY's stocking,
BE sure and don forget;
The sweets that iii the stocking
WIN hll baby with regret
SHOCKING.
In these lines there nothing shocking.
Don't get pTudish now. / beg.
Santa Claus ne er filed your stocking
With aug'4t as dainty as what was IN
IL before you retired
YULE-TIDE.
Welcome the merrie Yu!e-tide,
OF the gladsome day take heed:
We neither get just what We want.
Nor get just what we need.
THE NIGHT BEFORE.
Twas the night before Christmas,
When all through the house
We could smell papa's breath
He came home with a souse!
Really, Mr. Sock, you have left very
little 10 be said concerning your literary
efforts.
They are an innovation in Christmas
verse. and they certainly dwell at some
length upon the Christmas spirit.
But you would make a greater hit
writing coon songs.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25

Many a title proves a little
II is all right to ask your son II he
has been good little boy. bat what II
be should ask you if you had been q
good big bOy2
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
HEIRESS FINDS
MISSING FATHER
Left Home After Quarrel
Over Her Proposed
Marriage.

NEW YORK, Dec. 25.-This is a joy
Gus Christmas day for Margaret Mall
lard, beautiful heiress from Chicago,
who has been in New York for two
weeks searching for her father, who
vanished from here in October, for she
has located him in Muncie. Ind, and
is on her way TO join him there.
She is happy also because she has
reason to believe that her father no
longer objects TO her marriage, which
objection, it is said, caused him 20 leave
home.
Christmas Dinner Together.
Miss MailIard has appealed to the
police here to aid in the search for her
father. She received a telegram from
him Christmas eve. saying that he was
at Muncie. well. and asking her TO get
there in time today TO eat dinner Miss
Maillard started on the eighteen-hour
Chicago train over the Pennsylvania
railroad.
She telegraphed her sweetheart. Bur
den, R0dey, who was at Greenwich,
Conn, to follow her TO Muncie. He is
a commercial salesman from LeXing-
ton, Ky.
Quarreled Over Marriage.
The girls father. Frederick Maillard.
a retired builder, left Chicago last April
after a quarrel about his daughters
proposed marriage. He came 10 New
York, but continued TO write home. In
October the letters ceased
Mrs. Maillard, who was in poor health
began to fail rapidly after her letters
We're returned unanswered and she
died. IL IS said. OF broken heart.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
The Proper Wav.

so Wiseman is married at last. He
used 10 say II he ever got married he'd
manage his wife all right"
wei. he's pretty shrewd. he's going
about IL in the right way"
''Is he2 HOwg'
Letting her have her own way"
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
The Rich Man Got 1t.

Poorman-Thats Old Man Flint.
earned s. for him once.
AscuH-You mean you earned s. doing
some work for him2
PoOTman-Put Il any way You like.
mean I earned the s.. but l never got it.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
FOXY

II always announce at Christmas that
j have given mp smoking.
what is your reason?'
Then my wife win buy me pair
Of slippers instead of a box Of cigars.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
Result in Doubt.

Result IN D0Ubt-
Tom-See how slowly Jacks walking
along. You'd think he was going 70 a
funeral
Dicll-M8ybe he is. He's going 10 ask
old R0Eley for his daughters hand.
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
So She Would.

So She Would.
''WeII. little one. said the kindly old
stranger. what are yOu going 10 be
when yOu grow to be Il mani
II guess TN be a freak, rephed the
wise little one.
a freak2 Why
Cause I'm a little girl
The Washington times., 1906-12-25
Two Sides to II.

Two Sides to II.
ITS am ola saving. You know. mat
the more we get The more we want
yes. but it's just as true that the
more we want the less we get.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29
A WORD FROM JOSH WISE.

Eenator Bailey bought a gun the
other day and carries 1t while cam
oaigning. Possibly it's loaded with
some good disinfectant.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29
TRAINED POLICE.

That policemen should be of information and in
teigence discrimination is idea that is not confined
any locality
But Cobus. Prussia hitherto unknown to fame comes
to the front with the establishment of school for police
men with 26 courses
Before he take place the regular force at Cot
bus the policeman is required to know something about
the German and Pussan constitutions, the organization
of the ministry of the interior under which he works. and
his own powers, rights and duties.
lie must also know thoroughly the rights of citizens
He must know about the policing of the poor beggar and
tramps, and about health laws, food inspection and SAM
tary regulations
First aid to the injured is an important branch he
must master Means Of Identification of criminals is an
other The regulation of public meetings is a special
study. The science of ''cews is still another.
Certainly, the who, in addition to natural quail
fcatons has made himself proficient in all these subjects
will make an ideal policeman.
And in no department of public service is thorough
efficiency more important
The police force may be capable of high order of
services yet undreamed of.
Mere criminal catching is a small part of the possbili
ties of thoroughly trained and highly efficient police
The little Prussian town has presented an idea that
many great American cities might adopt with decided
advantage.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29

The orders received by American automobile makers
for 1907 number $4,000 this representing increase OF
10000 the output for the year closing.
The factories unable to meet the demands made
upon Them in every machine being sold which
can possibly be constructed during the coming year.
AT the exhibit of automobiles and automobile fixtures
in New York 224 different machines displayed repre-
senting total sale price of $1,0OO,O00.
These figures only partially indicate the tremendous
hold which this method of transportation is gaining in
this country. The fore gn makes of machines must be
added to the domestic ones to fully show that.
Clearly the automobile is here to stay, and is to be
calculated upon potential factor in the industrial and
social life of the present and the future.
+ Great steps in social evolution have resulted from
smaller What began expensive toy of the
rich is rapidly becoming popular necessity. Constant
attention to the development of low priced motors is
steadily increasing the field Of usefulness
The automobile is bound like the trolley car to i'm
measuraby extend the residence districts of cities AL
ready writer in leading magazine thinks he foresees
one mighty city, 500 miles long and averaging at least
five miles in width, extending from Portland Me-, to
Washington, result of fast trains roeys and auto
mobiles.
This seems dream, but even dreams have been out
done by fact
One interesting and very important result of the
mon of the automobile is the popular interest it
cites in mechanism Every automobile show is effec-
tive school in mechanics and thousands eagerly become
absorbed pupils.
The scoot cart driven by fool to the of peo-
piles lives, is one thing
But the automobile as a factor in industry pleasure
business and social evolution is quite different thing.
The shows the Stiffness of individuals. The
other demonstrates the general progress of the
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29
LOVE REWARD.

Phil Armstrong had met Mrs.
Lambert while he was taking his
younger brother Paul to Germany
for the benefit of the latter's health.
She was travelling with her hus-
band and father, and although she
seemed to be young in years, there
was a shadow of great trouble WIS.,
ible on her face.
With a kindness natural to her
she had given much attention to
the invalid, and the young man had
become warmly attached to the
good angel"
The destination of both parties
was Baden Baden and they met
frequently.
A year after Paul's death, Philip
read in a French newspaper of Mr..
Lambert's death. Poor Kathaleen
was free at last and Philip knew
that a great longing of his life
might yet be satisfied. A mighty
love whose presence he had not
even guessed, had sprung up in his
heart during their acquaintance and
it was with difficulty he had re-
strained himself when tempted to
punish Lambert for the insults and
and suffering inflicted upon his
patient wife.
That was 20 years before I went
to visit Philip. He was unchanged
in his devotion and believed firmly
that Kathaleen would yet come to
him.
About the middle of December
that year | received note saying,
"She has come. Bring Abbey with
you and come to me-"
We hurried over. Philip met us
at the door and clasping both my
hands, drew me into his study.
"She came tonight. She had fol-
lowed her father from city to city,
the only link that bound him to a
decent life. He died month ago
and she knew ] was waiting"
Saying this, he led me into the
library where the faithful woman
lay asleep, weary from her patient
vigil and her long journey.
"My wife to-be," said Philip
fondly.
Then saw her face, beautiful
with the radiance of true love, and
frightened now with light like
the afterglow of a sunset. Her hair
was as white as the snow, but her
heart was as young as ever. Calling
for d minister, Abbey and I were
witnesses TO their marriage and
Philip was at last happy.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29
THE UNWRITTEN
Law
BY ELLA X. DEARBORN.

Who today is the protector Of
womaA's honor?
Economic conditions have forced
women into the business world;
here she has found herself working
under a disadvantage because she
had no political weight, and man
has been her oppressor.
He has never been a safe friend
or a generous foe to any woman,
and now comes the question-if he
is her foe financially, paying her
less money for the same work than
he would have to pay a man, and
he is her foe politically, by with
holding from her a potent weapon
of defense, how can she exject him
to protect her honor?
Men waste much ink and oratory
on the beauty and sacredness of
motherhood, and enact laws pro-
tecting women and home, and
straightway violate all of them, and
the stigma of shame attaches only
to the woman.
Fatherhood has ever been a sub
ject of jest. Shakespeare makes
double thrust in the following:
Vincintio asks art thou his
father" and Pendant answers cay,
sir; SO his mother says, if I may
believe her"
Men desert wife and children, or
the unmarried man leaves the girl
to manage the result of their indis-
cretions as best she may; he feels
little or no responsibility, concern
ing her or her unborn child.
Society does not punish him, and
neither do our laws, and so, realiz-
ing this, Orlando Murray of Port
land, Ore, obeyed the unwritten
law and shot Lincoln Whitney, the
seducer of his young sister.
Since men pose as protectors of
women, let them protect her honor
by building up their own, and let
society close its doors against the
libertine.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29

NEW YORK, Dec. 29.-F'or fem
mime fads and fancies, and worse
than that, the present gay season
in New York has been remarkably
productive.
Imagine a handsomely gowned
woman at the opera wearing pic
ture hat from the crown of which
dangle six artificial lemons. This
is no fable. 1t was a gray blue
felt with an audacious slant toward
the fair wearer's nose. The lemons
in varied tints of yellow and green
were hung in front of the high
crown, modified by a cloud of gray
osprey plumage.
At a Broadway theater woman
was seen wearing upon her head a
large white pheasant it'll extend
ed wings. These were pinned to
the wearer's hair. There was alb
solutely no substructure or frame
for the poor little bird to rest upon.
The long tail feathers curved down
over the damsel's back and the
birds black head was right over
the center of the forehead.
The grandeur of New York
women who attend the opera is
simply appalling this year. Be-
decked by millions of dollars
worth of gold and precious stones.
not to mention silks, laces, furs
and plumage, the devotees of fash
ion have established an heretofore
undreamed-of flight of gorgeous
ness.
Diamond crowns have become
common among these women. Still,
to have a dazzling diadem is not
enough; it must be worn at precise
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29

"Poor man." sad the woman Wis.
ntor; s.it's too bad that man OF
oOur education and refinement
should DO kept In q prison like this.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29

ly the right angle. This new fad is
designated as the proper tiara
tilt" 1t must be set slightly to the
right of. the center and the head
should always be carried high to
show off the crown to the best ad-
vantage.
Tempting bronchitis and the
galloping CON is the peek a-boo
shirtwaist, just as popular this win
ter as it was in the sweltering days
of last July. aren't you afraid
of catching cold, my DEAR" asked a
gallant youth, solicitously, of his
sweetheart. "Pshaw," snapped she,
Il have peek-a-boo chest protec-
tor"
Spend half an hour on the drive
in Central park and witness six to
10 elegantly appointed carriages
and hansoms dash by, their sole oc-
cupants being pet dogs. 1t has be-
come a regular institution in the
routine of several fashionable fam
lilies that the Pamperanian pup,
dear little Puzzles, you know, must
have the airing. 1t isn't fashion
able to carry them on your lap any
more, you know.
Bridge whist is giving way to a
new game called pull" 1t affords
heavy gambling and Is therefore
popular in the upper crust clubs
and at afternoons" not to mention
early mornings. 1t is two-handed
whist and bears the English import
stamp. /
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29
The Daily Short Story

erfield cards and spades when it
comes to being courteous. AS
United States District Attorney
Goss was walking down the street
with a feminine acquaintance he
spied a runaway. He raised his
hat, politely excused himself and
stepped in the path of the terror
stricken horse. Having brought
the frenzied animal to a stop, he
resumed his coat and, stepping
back to the sidealk, excused him
self for being a hero.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29

"Outrageous!" said the city Wis.,
flor in the little town. THAT auto
mobile went through here at the
rate of 40 miles an hour!"
"Yep, purity dangerous" admitted
the native, "but If it stopped err
went through at 10 miles an hour
we'd smell it all day"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29

Isn't the confinement terrible?"
"Not at all. l don't mind that q
bit. for l was trained to endure it
was bank cashier before / came
here"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29
PRINTING.

Save 25 to 80 per cent on your
printing bills, Spokane Stamp
Works. 6l8 First avenue. opposite
Hotel Spokane. $50
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29

"a Milwaukee minister says the
world is for the common people"
aud heaven for the rich ?"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29
CHESTERFIELD 10 OUTCOME.

OMAHA, Dec. 29.-.Omaha boasts
of man who can give Lord Chest
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1906-12-29

Why doesn't Pittsburg license it's
millionaireS?
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1906-12-13
OURS 90 ~
"a a =
oY Q. ses
stolen From HIS Farm Last August
ana Brougllf no This Sew
don of State
II.ivefs B4fteen Kindred Miles and
sDends Three Hundred and
IEifty DoIlars.

Vgiiifan cours0n. OF Washington,
Pa. has recovered a team of horses
stolen from his farm Iast August and
valued at $3.50 As stated by the
Telegram one was recovered at Lpnl-
berport from Lee Boggess. the latter
having traded for 1t. The other was
recovered this week at Buckhannon.
The recovery Of the horses was large
iy through the Instrumentalfty OF
sherin T. W. Barker. of Morgan
town
The horses were not recovered,
however, until Mr. Courson had trav-
eled more than 1900 miles and spent
fully $3.50, possibly $50 more than
their worth. They were pet horses
ana Mr.. Courson did not care for e1-
pense in recovering them.
The police authorities Of West
virginia and Pennsylvinia had been.
notided of the theft, but the thief
made good his escape. Mr. Cour-
son viii spend several more hundred
dollars for his arrest and conviction.
He is known and no effort viii be
overlooked to apprehend and bring
him to Justice.
The paroles in whose possession
the horses we're found were innocent
Of any wrong-doing, but they lost
the price they paid for the animals.
.It is stated that Mr.. Boggess lost
about $50 and no less than that
amount was lest en- the ether horse