The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-20
Colonel PIunkett. Y. c.
nm s,-,5l -

Colonel Plunket. retired from the
Seventeenth and wearer of a Victoria
Cross Won in India, was sixty years old
and still unmarried He belonged to
half a dozen London clubs, was seen
quite a little in society, and was famed
for his imperturbabihty Nothing ever
took him off his balance. No one ever
saw him excited. Morning, noon OF
night, he was the same When asked
for an opinion he expressed it, and
thereafter stood by it, right or wrong.
He had a programme to live by, and
he permitted 10 one to disturb it. He
cultivated the serene and made a fad
OF it. At the clubs the youngsters put
up many jobs to disturb the cOlonels
eGuanimity but they had their labor
for their pains The final result was
that he was dubbed odd lmpertur ba-
bility."
The colonel had bachelor quarters and
q valet. The quarters We're punctil-
tous So was the colonel So was the
valet If the cOlOnel's best friend had
desired to call on him before the usual
hour and inform him of the death of
one of the royal family 1t could not
have been done If the colonel hlmself
had been found dead in bed some morn
ing his valet would have waited just so
long and followed a certain programme
before informing Inc outside world OF
the lamentable event The most inti-
mate of the colonel's friends had to
passed them to the colonel The colonel
held them in his hand for a certain
length of time and then came to a de-
cisiOn.
There was one other matter that was
generally suspected but could not pc
9roved. The colonel wore a wig He
1,-ora . corset He used cosmetics. To
a certain extent he was taken TO pieces
at night and put together again in the
morning. The knowledge OF this was
confined TO himself and his valet, and
me world might suspect and surmise
and he hanged to it. Only one other
77,ar, ever collected any proofs, and Tor
certain reasons he has maintained a dis
Greet silence to date
It happered on a NoNempeI eNeIllls;
T. US a tuesday evening. The colonel
remained in his chambers and read ana
rn9osced up TO a certain hour. and then
1,ie valet took him in hand On this oc-
-,Sf~y, tha valet rad performed his task
ar,d ratrea-ed to his own quarters, Whsh
band was clapped over his mouth, q
l~ras thrust into the small Of his back.
- l,efo~a he could utter a cry he was
~ tba floor with a gag in his mouth
80 bIs feet and hands bound. He was
sI1rDrised by the sudden attack, but
more by the want OF punctlllouSress.
The groan he fetched over the latter
vas long-draWn and genuine The at
tacIrar had walked over several roofs
adn then used a short ladder to enter
the coloners apartments He had a
few words to say TO the NdlSl anu AAcA
~,roreeded en- into the front apartments.
The impsrturbable colonel VAS not
asleep, nor was mis- light vet turned
ont Some men would have started up
and exclaimed at sight of a strange man
IN his bedroom at that hour, but at
wasn't Colonel Plunkett. He had al
wavs waited to be addressed. and he did
not depart from the programme on this
occasion
The Intruder gave the colonel look
ing over ard then took in the room He
saw the corset and he chuckled- He
saw the cosmetics and he gurgled and
said:
vtcelx If your glass eye and false
teeth were here the. show would be com
plete. Oh the vanity of man, especial
~ an old ass of man! 1 wouldn't have
believed this Of a man wearing the ".
..s,r never receive callers at this
b. our Of the night, and never in my
BEDROOM replied the colonel in his
Everyday tones
S.sYes. I knew that I'd be de trop. but
fhtsre are times when one must break