davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

Congressman Bede prefers the stork
% the eagle as a national bird be-
oause while 1.-The eagle can only scream
he stork delivers the goods" In this
connection the Minnesota statesman
says he has race suicide beaten by six
BedeS.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

A Chicago girl who was accosted on
the street by a masher, hit him in the
eye and threw her Chicago boots into
aim until he tainted. There is some
thing about the Chicago girls feet that
: all right, when applied to Washers.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

David Jayne Hill, United States min
lister at The Hague, reports that it
would be unsafe to buy coal on the
strength of being a Meter heir
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

Harry Payne Whitney. who will be
sent to congress by Mr. Murphy, of
New York, would, of course. rather go
there on his own motion, but unfortu-
Murphys consent from New York city.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
Ministering to a Mind Diseased.

MInISISrInS To d wilma OIScdScO.
The doctors telephone bell rang.
"Hello!" he said, applying the phone
to his ear.
Hello Is this DR.. Kewrum?"
yes"
This is Mrs. Ozerill. Oh, doctor, I
have such tickling in my throat, I
just can't endure it. 1 wish you'd
come over as quick as you can and see
what is the cause of it,
THE old hypochondriac!" he mutter-
ed. There is nothing on earth the mat
ter with her, but 1 suppose I'll have to
go, as usual. Madam" he continued,
raising his voice, what did you have
for dinner?"
Chicken pot pie
"All right, I'll be there in a few min
utes."
when he visited his patient a quar-
ter of an hour later, he found her
coughing and wheeling, and apparently
IN great PAIN.
mo relief yet, MADAME" he asked.
Not a (cough) bit, doctor! It's
Cough getting worse (cough) evedy
(cough) minute.''
"Well,' he said opening his case and
taking out a small steel instrument
with long handle; well soon remove
the cause. People are often troubled
this way after eating chicken potpie
May 1 ask you to suspend your cough
ing for a moment and open your
MOUTH"
will it hurt, DOCTOR
Not a particle. Now close your eyes,
please"
She complied, and he inserted the in
strument
Il see what it is, madam. Hold still
There-that's ALL
rs it over, DOCTOR
Yes. You may open your eyes"
Did you find anything?"
q should say 1 did. Do you see
this p"
Whereupon he showed her a chicken
feather, which appeared to be in a re.
markable state of preservation, every
thing considered.
rs the tickling all gone, MADAME"
Yes, it's all gone, doctor 1 don't
feel it a bit now. 1 just happened to
think, though, that I've made a mistake,
it wasn't a chicken I had for dinner,
doctor. 1t was roast pork Oh, dear,
can feel it coming on Cough, cough
again!"
Then the doctors patience gave way.
"Confound it, madam" he exclaimed.
why didn't you say so earlies? If
your told me that at first I would have
extracted bristle!''-Chicago Tribune
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

kilograms from missionaries give
assurance that there is no danger in
China. Are our wealthy interests pre-
pairing to club China for business
purposes?"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

One of those cold-blooded, calculating
''eople who reduce everything to fig
res. states that if George Washington
lad lived until today his whiskers
WOULD have been thirty-one feet,
seven inches long. The man who fig
nred it out ought to be in the cen
sus bureau. sftnl.1 .sF1sR
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
Scented a Rented Fit.

Speaker Cannon is consulted by his
those political At one of the night ses
sions of the house, just before adjourn
ment, the speaker, tired out, was TAX
ing siesta on the lounge in his room,
and on waking, he noted that the dele
gate from New Mexico, was lowering
around waiting for him to get back to-
the business world. Uncle joe
stretched, yawned, and finally got off
the lounge. Mr.. Rodey came forward
and Mr. Cannon, always amiable, asked
innocently:
well, Rodey, have you been waiting
long? Anything 1 can do for you?"
For answer the New Mexican peeled
off his overcoat and displayed his
graceful form clad in evening attire.
Il am going out to dinner, Mr.
Speaker, and just wanted to ask you
how l look in these toys"
He turned around with the precision
of figure in modiste's window i'm.
order that the speaker might view the
effect from every point.
why, you look fine said the
speaker, heartily; you look just fine
Why, man, if you rugged up like that
every evening the statehood bill would
pass in no time. But Rodey,' the:
speaker added, in a soft, caressing
voice, why don't you buy a suit of
your own?'
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
Where DolIiver Got Them,

Senator Dolliver was born in that
part of Virginia that afterward became.
West Virginia. He made speech near
his old home in the late campaign,
and, growing reminiscent, said, with
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
Captain Taegart Arrives at Frisco.

SAN FRANCISCO, Feb. 26.-Captain
Taggart has arrived here with two
companies of the Eighth infantry, and
viii sail March Is for the Philippines.
The captain refused to discuss his d.
Vorce
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

1t had to come. The municipal own
ership agitation" is gievn as the rea-
son for the drop in prices of New
York bonds. Stop this agitation which
affects the nerves of our millionaires.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

How Uncle O'Mussrave Saved the Day.
Did you ever" said the sailor "see
the melodrama of William Tell?"
Yes, but 1 forget it," the druggist
answered
well, the climax of the second act is
where Tell, with his bow and arrow.
shoots the apple off the head of his
son. Now I want to tell YOU" said the
sailor, how Uncle O'Musgrave once
saved that second act climax from ruin.
Uncle O'Musgrave had left Booth
in a huff, and had gone on the road
with the Tell melodrama at six
week and found He was a super, and
in the second act it was his duty to
stand and watch Tell shoot the apple
off the head of his boy.
1.-The Tell of the piece, Cad, wasn't
a good enough shot to split the apple
in a bonnyfied way. There was a
trick, of course The arrow ran on an
invisible wire from Tells bow to the
shot straight along the wire to its des-
tination
But one night, by Crinus, the arrow
stuck. The wire went wrong, some
how, and it stuck in midair-hung
there, as if bewitched half way be-
tween Tell and his son.
THAT was a terrible moment. Uncle
O'Musgrave looked at Tell. The poor
fellow was pale with fright, and kept a
mutterin Uncle looked at the audi
ence They were silent and mystified
so far, but already the leading spirits
were beginning to laugh and joke about
the arrow hangin' in the air so strange
and queer. He looked at young Tell,
hardly hold the apple on his shaky
head
Then Uncle O'Musgrave stepped for
ward. He got behind the arrow. He
lifted up his arm and gave it a shove
On it went, and it split the apple as
per usual.
There was a frantic burst of ap-
plause, and the curtain came down on
a saved climax. So pleased were the
before the curtain-an unheard-of hon
people with Uncle O'MuSgrave'S ready
act that they actually called him out
or for a super.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

name of the state these artificial per-
sons will discharge their functions im-
partially and fairly as between all
citizens, or the state must resume the
rights and powers it has conferred
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
The Kina of Repartee.

Some entertaining impromptu WITH
cisms of the English dramatist, Doug
lah Jerrold, are recalled. On one occa-
sion on being asked to contribute to a
subscription fund for needy author,
he impatiently inquired the sum needed,
for relief.
We'll" was the response, Il think
just four and two naughts will put him
straight"
Put me down for one of the
naughts," was the reply
A lawyer, replying to the toast of his.
health drunk at a dinner of artists.
stammered out that he did not expect
the honor, as law could hardly be con-
sidered one of the arts; whereupon
Jerrold interjected one word only
black
There's. one song in -" remarked
a musical bore to Jerrold, speaking of
popular OPERA" which always car
ries me away
would that 1 could sing it," ejacu--
lated Jerrold.
1t is related that on another occa-
sion a long-winded friend stopped Jer-
rold, who was hurrying on urgent.
business along Regent street, with the
question, "Well, Jerrold, my boy, what
is going on?"
Il am retorted Jerrold, shooting by
without further esponse.-Harper'
Weekly. ... -
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

Pity Paul Morton is not in the SEN
turbed body a misplaced switch.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

Gaynor and Greene would perhaps
like to inquire why steps are not taken
to find Rockefeller.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

John d. claims to have been in New
York all, the time. The artful
dodger!"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

Talking machines, Victor, Edison.
Columbia Zanophone at Stanleys.
man.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

Wanted--40 mead Of draft horses i'm
mediately by DR.. Wood at McBride's
livery stable.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26

If we might lose Harry H. Rogers,
too
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
CufiOs and Oddities

looks at himself, at home, nearly all
the time, ard continually he urges his
study themselves, and to strive daily to
Improve in grace.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-02-26
A Homely Criticism.

Uncle Joe Cannon is sometimes too
homely and direct and harsh in his
comments" said a young journalist. Il
was not at all pleased with the remark
he made to me while I was speaking
at certain banquet.
of course 1 am an inexperienced
speaker. l can't rattle off words like
the veterans of the senate and house.
l admit that 1 began my address in a
faltering way. 1 began, if 1 remem-
Der:
Gentlemen, my opinion is that the
generality of mankind in general is
disposed to take advantage of the gen
erality Of
Here Uncle Joe interrupted me.
Sit down, son. he said You are
coming out of the same hole you went
in at"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05
A Perfect Flying Machine.

Gulls are masters In the air. ! have
watched by the hour birds similar to
these following along In the wake OF
a steamer, but had never before had
such chances with camera. Often
they pOise, resting apparently motion
less on outstretched wing. 1t is a diff
cult feat. 4 small bird can't do Il.
4 sparrow hawk can only poise by the
rapid beating Of his wings. The Sulls
seem to hang perfectly still. yet there
is never an instant when the wings and
tail are not constantly adjusted to meet
the different air currents. Just as IN
shooting the rapids In u canoe, tie
paddle must be adjusted every moment
TO meet the different eddics, currents
and whirlpools. and IL is never the
same In two different instants. 4 gull
by the perfect adjustment Of It's body,
without single flap of the wings.
makes headway straight IN the teeth
of the wind I saw one retain perfect
o3ullibrium In a stiff breeze, and at
the same time reach forward and
scratch his ear.-American Magazine.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05
Men. Women and Fact.

Tact has always been considered the
peculiar attribute OF woman. with
a woman's tact" Is one Of the stock
phrases Of the novelist But writer
In one Of the American magazines
and his view Is upheld by an English
magazine which quotes him-upsetS
this tradition by declaring that men
are more often tactful than women
Men. II Is submitted, are swift 70
know when to speak and when not to
speak-wben 1t Is wise to withhold
even n looh-and that is why a medi'
ocre man will succeed when even a
clever woman will fail, why men are
greater In diplomacy. In ali things that
require finesse. still 1t Is a question
whether men really succeed better IN
diplomacy. What about the woman
who Is the power behind the throner
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05

A conductor on the st. Louis and
Suburban railroad had such a good run
Of business Sunday afternoon that be
had dificuhy IN keeping himself sup
oiled with small change. Many pas
seneers who patronized his car handed
him dollars and bills OF larger denomi-
ca lions W payment Of their fares The
:onductos, bowovsf. managed to get
along fairly we'll until a woman carry
Ing a tiny infant boarded his car
when be approached the woman for
her fare she handed him a Eve dollar
bill.
rs that the smallest you have. mad
amr' queried the conductor. fearing
another strtngency In change.
The woman looked Mt the conductor
and then at her baby and made this
surprising reply. Yes; l have been
married only twelve months" ST
Louis Globe Democrat.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05
gerJ Down Grace.

4 little Portland miss. whose nsss
name Is Grace. had never attend !
church; being too little and too lively
70 be trusted there. according 10 the
Kennebec Jourual. But az hst her
mother permitted her 20 accompany
an elder sister glv!ny her craze warn
,ngs beforehand. The rector OF tla
church was a frequent caller at Grace's
home. and her mother feared that on
.his account che might take liberties.
"You nust ST STILL she said. and
you must not say one word, but let
Mr.. Hammond do the talking. Now,
remember
Oracle behaved very we'll In meet
lng. AS soon as she reached home
she reported:
"Oh. mamma. I did keep still-real
still. and when Mr. Hammond called
me right out In meeting I never stirred
TO 60 TO him."
called you, Why. c,lild. he never
called you In meeting"
yes. but he did, mamma. He said
thzee or four times, Send down Grace
but sat as still as c n1orsc.''
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05
The First Armored ship.

According to the best authorities on
curiosities Of the navy and warfare in
general. the first armOrcl vessel was
lanncle! in tha year f,,30 II H-fS OHe
OF TIE feet manned 10y the knights or
st. John and was entirely, covered. with
sheets of lead The accounts or the
times leave us in darkness as 20 the
thickness of this lead armor. but they
are very positive in the statement that
they we're Of sufficient strthgih to
successfully resist all the shots Of that
day." At the siege OF GiDraltar!A l'S2
the French and Spaniards used war
vessels which were armored' with
Light iron boom proafng over the'r
decks and TO the waters edge The
very first practical use OF wrought IRON
mates as II defense for ire sides ot
yesaas was by the French in tie Cri-
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05
Queer han IS.

There are some queer hooks and cor
ners - the state OF Maine, and many
OF lac titles o? ihe smaller towns al
localities are worthy Of special men
ton. Ncar OuSLeld is PuGleyvii.e,
while Hog valley Is cerGiin; pictur-
esque retreat lcca,ed near Raymond.
Dog Corner. Henco0p cove, is d vel
known place IN Winthrop. While out Oh
he Coon road strange tainss have
sometimes happened y mile bong IS
Ia Hole hill the stsepest ever an
Il the way up are little rests ft6 ha' :
he r.a3 on" people say. pver'P'l-- 1
-vay is tue hunger inspiring, lame O.
caec.oru, -niie highly suggestive O.
= li1ce Was me old name 'Uf s."
carappa One does uot b4.e 10 die t
pass through purgat0ry, and some V-
the most prominent men in the state
have hailed from this sinful region.
Neither are the gates of Eden closed
to all mortals, but nowadays one jour-
neys via an ancient toll bridge that
leads the traveller straight to this en-
chanted land-Lewiston (MeD Journal.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05
Torests Cnnaturei Death.

The life Of nearly all forests Is cut
short by fire or b. the land OF the
iumberman. When spruce forest Is
entirely destroyed by fire young
sDruces do not at once spring up and
cover the burned area. The seed bear
ing cones have been burned. and the
spores and seeds Of other plants which
are readily carried by the wind hnd
thelr way in FIRST. The task Of -prepar-
ing for the forest is begun again, but
this time il IS 10 be- a shorter one. The
first year after the FIRE mOsses and
often tiny Towering plants appear
These are replaced by the freweed
and other flowers whose seeds are pro
vided with hairs so that they reach
such places quickly. These are soon
Joined by raspberries. roses and other
bushes. Among these the young seed
Hngs of aspens appear in a very few
years. The latter grow rapidly and IN
n score OF years form E. low sunny for
est. An aspen forest makes q brilliant
contrast with the dark green forests
OF spruce.-St. Nicholas.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05

One of the first explorers Of the In
terror Of South Africa Was William
Cotton Oswell a noted hunter and a
friend OF Livingstone, TO whom be rem
dered important aid. In his biography
the following story is given from one
OF his African letters; An incident
highly creditable to Kafflr womanhood
occurred Just as we reached Mabotse
The women. as Is their custom, were
working In the fields. for they hoe and
the men sew. A young man. standing
BY the edge Of the bush, was chatting
with them. A lioness sprang on him
and was carrying him on, when one
Of the women ran after her, caught her
ny the ta!l and was dragged for some
little distance. Hampered by the man
IN her mouth and tho woman behind
her. she s!ackened her pace. whereupou
her assallant straddled over her bacS
and hit her across the nose and head
with a heavy short handled hoe until
she dropped her prey and skunk tC
cover
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05
n.Inin nS ArcOt Races.

when did Ascot races begin? They
are mentioned IN the first Racing Cal
endar," published IN 1927. and The
usual statement IS that they were
founded by the Duke Of Cumberland
uncle of George III. But an entry II
the accounts OF the master of the horse
In i712 suggests that they were found
cd by Queen Anne on Aug. g. I'LL. The
trnth. no doubt, is that Ascot races
Ike many other august institutions
gradually developed from a germ, SC
that 1t Is difficult to say when they
really began. At any rate. they were
quite the sort Of thing that enthusias'
of the turf, Queen Anne. would have
founded. She was thorough StuaN'
In this passion. 1t was her great
c-andfathe~. James l.. who encouraged
if ne did not establish horse racing IL
Scotland ald popu.arized 1t In Eng
land.-London Chronicle.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05

A deer II walking always places its
feet firmly closed upon the ground, ana
consequently the track Is sharply
rawn-that IS, the hOof is not spread
to any apprecable extent Excep-
tons are sometimes the track OF deer
that are hegcy with fawns, during
spring and early summer, and those OF
old bucks during The rutting season.
But even then the heels of thcir tracks
are considerably closer than In tracks
made by q hog or .Ae9p. The h0ots
of the latter two animals are always
rounder at the toe than those Of deer,
making the tracks they leave easily dis-
tingulshable, and If the difference is
not discernible in frozen SHOW The
fact that the trail made by hogs or
sheep does not register should settle all
doubts for the tracker. y deer II not
wounded will Away step with It's
hind foot in the track made by the
front foot.-Ficld and Stream.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05
Leather S3rcecbe e..

A hundred and ffty years ago the
farm hands and house servants OF
EnC!ard were clothed ~ leather. \
good p..t - leather breeches was said
% pass from father 70 son rs an heir
G3lA. len a boy went 70 school as
well pr C-ld as On armorcd cruiser.
TIE a.. .lgr Il "Didisburye IN the 80
offers s9i.o observations upon thee
articles o. common wear: The test of
O COOL pCr was 10 Try If they would
stand upright Of themselves when n0-
body was in them. If they would co
40 they were good. strong stuff AMI
key = last for many years. My
alter remembered a prentice lad CON-
.nc - his father, whose fond mother
lad provided him with such a pair.
~ they were the means Of a vast
fun" In d game that IS unknown III
ese days-that is. for the boys TO set
4e breeches upright aud then jump
llto them without touching them with
fhe hands. II was probably a pair OK
such leather breeches that the Windsor
Joy was wearing when George III.
asked him If be did not know that the
man before him was the king.
YES" said the boy.
Then why don't you go On your
knees, and you might kiss the king $
hand" said the king:
"Bece use I'd spoil my bEeeches."
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05
Music and the Turtle.

The Egyptians. according TO the sage
Apollodorus. credit their Hermes or
Mercury with the invention Of music
under the following circumstances:
The Nile, having overhowed its banks
and inundated nearly all OF Egypt, on
It's return TO It's banks left on its
shores various dead animals and
among the rest tortoise. the flesh
having dried and wasted IN the sun
until nothing remained Ia the shell but
cartilageS. These, being tightened by
the drying heat became sonorous.
Mercury, walking along the banks Of
the river, happened 10 strike his foot
against this shell, was so pleased with
the sound produced that the idea OF
the Tyre suggested itself, and he con-
structed a Tyre of the shell Of a large
tortoise. which he strung with the
slnews Of dead animals. Dryden
wrote:
Less than a god they thought there could
not dwell
Within the hollow Of that shell
That spoke 50 Sweetly
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-10-05
Shenandoh Herald
Advertising a Rates

Advertising Rates
Transient advertisements will
ba inserted at fifty'cents an inch,
: for each insertion.
r Quarterly or yearly sdssr.
tisements by CONTRACT
~ Unless the number OF fnser
lions is marked upon the rnany-
script, advertisement viii he put
lisbed until forbidden and charge
7ccorc'ngtv