davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06
TRAGIC WITT

sTRAGIC wit said playwright, *'goes we'll on
g. the stage. And in real life there are many in
stances where tragic wit went we'll.
Pierre de Coldirodi, spaniard, blind in one
eye, had his other eye knocked out by ball in a
tennis tournament. Realizing that he now blind
for life the brave fellow sauted his companions AMI
said, gallantly:
6 Gentlemen, goodnight!''
''Sir Thomas Moore joked on the scaffod He
asked his executioners not to cut off his head as
it had committed no treason ~
Charles H. died in a gay, whimsical mood
..'' Pardon me-, he said 'for being unconscion-
able a time in dying!' -
Oscar Wilde's life might have been saved had
he consented to a certain operation in Paris Wilde
heavily in debt, and Since the operation was q
costly and the physicians would not positively
guarantee its snccess, he refused to undergo it.
TT seems he said smiling, that I am even
dying beyond my means.'"
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06
BY POLLY PENN.

She was tall and golden-h haired (by
nature) and pretty, and she was a
lady. If all salespersons were Hike her
there would be no more discussion over
the, correctness of that much-mooted
term, saleslady. - !.
This is how you may know that she
was lady. Indeed, it is not certain
that one might not say she was a
saint fs.5.E a..
She sells blouses in one of the de-
partment stores, and the other morn
ing woman came and said she would
like to buy white lingerie blouse with
round lace yoke, and elbow sleeves.
Miss Goldenhair found such waist
in the size required, and the customer
slipped it on over her own waist and
gazed at herself in the mirror.
I think, after ALL" she announced,
(" should prefer square yoke, button
ing up the back, with long sleeves
A blouse meeting these requirements
was found after some difficulty, the
customers size being an "off' one.
g It looks very nice on you,,' ven
tured Miss Goldenhair, after the woman
had put the blouse on and taken it off
| three times, and turned herself around
before the mirror fourteen times.
| II know, but | really don It think I
can bother buttoning it up the back
Oh, know it's all the style, but I'M
! too busy a woman to bother with style.
Show me something that fastens in
front, with no yoke, and some more
lace trimming, and tight cuffs"
Miss Goldenhair shortly produced the
thing desired, and stood patiently smil-
ing while the woman in the blouse
fdgeted and turned and twisted before
the mirror another ten minutes, at the
end of which time she announced her
positive conviction that an allover lace
bodice would suit her style of beauty
better.
Seven separate and distinct styles of
Is sallover'' waists were tried, each re-
figuring deliberation of at least five
minutes. Madam did not admire her.
3self sufficiently in any one of them to
take it, and finally requested to see
fsomething in china silk with fine tucks
Fl ss. Here is a pretty little thing sug.
Egested Miss Goldenhair, standing frs,
lon one foot and then on the other
from sheer WEAKNESS, but still speaking
lin honeyed accents. So Z
r. Madam tried on the china silk, ant
two chiffon taffetas, and crepe d.
chine OF SO, and finally expressed hel
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06
SITTING BULLS LETTER
Chicago Post.

l list Of the United States army still written
communication sent to him by the Sioux chief
Sitting Bull, he has missive which probably would
bring high price at autograph sale. The letter
sent to General Otis when he lieutenant
colonel of the Twenty-second infantry, regiment
which in the field in pursuit of the Sioux mmed
atey following the Custer massacre Here is Sitting
Bull s letter: 49,.
Yelowstone-I want to know. what you doing
travelling this road You all the buffalo
want to hunt on the place I want you to turn back
YOU to what YOU have cot here and turn back from
here. I your friend. Sitting Bull
all the rations you have got and powder
Wish you would write as you can, TX
There .humor in this communication of
Sitting Bull He asked the doughty old warrior, Otis,
retreat and to leave all the rations and part of
his POWDER in order that the Sioux might have forage
and ammunition enough to put them in condition to
make another Custer possible. Inasmuch as
Otis and his command, day or two earlier, had
thrashed Sitting Bull out of his moccasns the humor
Of the communication becomesethe salient
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06
SAUL,S EXCUSE.

w HEN Pierpont Morgan sailed on the Celtic to
V! Naples a stop made at Ponta Delada in
the Azores, and thence deputation call upon
the magnate.' 20. -.
The talk during the reception turned to music
and a lady asked Mr. Morgan if he had heard the
Gregorlan music that is sung in the Sstne chapel
Rome. 81.
~ have said Mr.. Morgan. s.. .. 49,.
And how did you like it7'' the lady asked
'Those chants, know, said to be sung to the
tunes which were used in Davids time,
Mr.. Morgan smiled "N'
~ could never understand till now,' he said,
"why Saul threw his javein at David
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06
USE OF SHEPHERDS CROOK

st\AI HAT is shepherds crook used for9'' 49, -.
w The automobiles out, far out, in the
country. sky Of bright, delicious blue
smiled down them. An air perfumed with turf and
dotted with Sheep which shepherd guarded, attended
by shaggy and wise sheepdog
'fThe use of shepherd s crook9 Why'' she said
cit is staff, support, ism it?''
'But the crook-the crook handle-that is what
I'm speaking of. What is the of that crook
handleq'' he repeated - r.. :.....&.-, r. ,:,r.,
She did not know. No one knew. de called the
young shepherd. > ts'.e... %. .-.s. .-,%- B.. ~
''These ignorant people, he said, ''don't know
why shepherd always carries crook Show them
what crook is used for.' 49,, u. -r.. see
The shepherd smiled, and, approaching a sheep,
he hooked the crook around it's hind leg, and drew
it to him. He hooked another sleeps hind Leg an
others another's III minute or two he had hooked
a dozen sheep. ~ n. a.zr ,'..| ~"
'That's wot Shepherds crook is fur, - he said
"to grab holt @ the sheep with. shepherd without
crook would be like fisherman without look
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06
THE BOARDMAN SISTERS

Miss Mabel Boardman, sister of Miss
Josephine Boardman, who is to be mar
ried to Senator w. Murray Crane of
years to Red Cross work and to other
labors of philanthropy and charity. Miss
Mabel Boardman also went to the orient.
as a, member of the Taft party. While
there she made special studies of the
needs of the natives and gained much
information that would be of service
in extending the work Of the Red Cross
society. -, -.
= When announcement was made of the
engagement of Miss Mabel IS sister,
Miss Josephine, to Senator Crane, thru
out the length and breadth Of the land
was published the story of the devotion
Of Miss Josephine Boardman to philan-
thropic and Red Gross work, of her
visit to Japan and her study there of
the needs of the natives, and much
more concerning her which wasn't at
all true. It would seem that Miss Mabel
Boardman has worked all these years
so that in the end all the praise for
self-sacrifcing endeavor should be
given to her sister, solely because her
sister is to be the bride Of a senator Of
the United States. B
The engagement of Miss Josephine
Boardman to Senator Crane was not an
overwhelming surprise to Washington.
During all the debates on the railroad
rate bill in the senate, Miss Boardman
was constant attendant. She occu.
pied seat in the diplomatic gallery
obtaining entrance to it by reason of
the fact that she was accompanied
either by Lady Susan Townley of the
British embassy or by Baroness Mou-
cheur Of the Belgian embassy. Sen
ator Crane, from his seat on the floor
watched the diplomatic gallery en-
trance, and when the door opened tc
admit Miss Boardman he would dis
] appear from below to reappear above
and the daily attendants at the senate
sessions noted the course of things ant
predicted an engagement announcement
for weeks before it, came to justify
1 the prophecy.
4 Senator Crane and Miss .Boardmar
i will be married next week at the Board
man summer home, Windycliffe, Man
chester-by -the-S Sea, Mass. Senator Gran,
has been a widower for twenty-fou
fhyears, his wife dying at the time O.
the birth of their only child, a son
who recently married, thus setting al
] example for his father.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06
A ROYAL HOUSEWIFE

Every morning the Princess Of Wales
is up and about at a surprisingly early
hour She: knows not only the duties
of every employee, but she sees to it
that they are fulfilled; and woe betide
the servant who thinks to hide a mis-
take or careless action from her quick
glancing, bright blue eyes. =
The princess is, wonderfully prompt
to see and to reprimand..L An artist who
was called to Marlborough house in or
der to paint the portrait Of the prince
gives an amusing little bit Of evidence
as to her housewifely care and thrift.
The prince in full uniform was pos
ing in one Of the big drawing rooms
when a call from the king came. The
artist said that he could paint in the
tab, shiny military boots if the prince
would leave them behind him. Accord
ingly a valet soon returned with the
Estately objects and quite on his own
responsibility placed them in one Of the
satin upholstered chairs that adorned
the long salon.
It was. in the opinion of both artist
and valet splendid position from
which to view and paint the boots, but
not so did it seem to the princess. AT
that very hour, unfortunately for these
masculine culprits, she was making her
daily rounds of inspection, andMpn en-
tering the big, fine room hey sharp
glance lighted first on the boots in one
Of her most costly chairs.
It was the wrath Of the careful
housekeeper that flashed in her eyes
while she ordered the boots down on
the floor, a buster brought forth and
] in no uncertain tones lreprimanded the
crestfallen valet for his ill treatment
]. Of one Of her choicest pieces of furni.
ture. She has little or no patience with
carelessness, and if the Prince of Wales
4 were d mere salaried bank clerk in
stead Of the son Of a king no keene1
care could. be taken of his expenses
and his income by his wife. $3.50.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06

preference for blue crepe with white
trimmings. ..--
81 don t know, tho, but what These
white lines are unbecoming, she dis
covered. "Havc you nothing all blue,
with elbow sleeves and surpliee
'FRONT.'"
Miss Goldenhair checked. a little sigh,
and sweetly said she would see, and
smilingly told three waiting customers
she would be thru soon. and finally
found SO surpliee blue crepe, with
elbow sleeves, and buttoned it on the
woman and told her she looked like
an angel in it.
After which said woman walked over
to a $1.9S bargain table and picked up
a dinky little mussed blouse of last
years vintage, and said she guessed
she would just take that, as she was in
something of hurry. ~
And the saleswoman smiled YEARLY,
and had 1T charged and sent, and babe
her an amiable goodbye, after which
she looked at her watch and found she
had given exactly two hours to the SELL
| ing Of that blouse.
| That isn't all. Next morning the
woman came back. She had the blouse.
She didn t like it. She wanted another.
| s.You re so pleasant said she to
Miss Goldenhair. "I want you to
wait on me again.
And Miss Goldenhair smothered a
sigh and went thru exactly one hour 3
repetition of the previous days per-
Torrance, during the whole of which
time she never lost her temper out
wardly, nor frowned a frown, nor said
sharp word, but just smiled sweetly
and YEARLY and spoke patiently, and
attended upon Madam's indecisions
with unfailing courtesy.
And when Madam finally departed
with tailor-made linen waist unds.
her arm, (having ultimately decided
on its superior durability, she had the
grace to look into Miss Goldenhair 8
sweet, tired face, and say, with sudden
enlightenment:
60 I'M afraid we been little trying.
You must let me thank you for your
wonderful patience
] ooh, no. said Miss Goldenhair,
pleasantly. aim glad you re pleased.
4 Good-bye. But she didn't add, "Come
4 in again. ,, ~
Now doesn't she deserve a starry
erowna And wasn't she lady? And
| wouldn It her gentleness and patient
tact and courtesy have done credit to
many LADY, who doesn't stand DO
!. hind the coanterf '.------.------.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06

ing itself to the hem. The plain part Of
this panel should be cut out from collar
to bust, leaving only the pleats, the
lace revealing itself there as long,
narrow plastron. Trim all the edges of
the slashings with a frill Of narrow
black Valenciennes lace turned in, and
have full puff sleeves, shirred to form
cuffs, little turn-back cuffs edged with
lace frills being added. If you can
manage this, it really is the smartest
and most becoming style that you can
adopt, as, it will suggest both height
and slenderness. Elizabeth Lee.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06
FROM ELIZABETH LEE,
Model for Sample.

Dear Madam: I should like your val
liable advice in making dress like in.
closed sample. I have plenty of goods
and would like a smart, useful design,
not too elaborate. Ny height is s
feet; bust, So inches; waist %; skirt
length, So; age, 30. Thanking you for
any information. Mrs. A. H.
Il Farwell. s.. 4
The black silk would make up into
handsome and becoming gown in
prineesse style, cut to fit the figure,
with no shirring or pleats, and finished
Son the bottom with "a faring founce,
trimmed at lower edge and at connec-
tion Of skirt with bias folds Of the
goods. Slash the top Of the gown from
buststo shoulder seams, cutting away to
display yoke Of white all-over lace,
and have very wide double box pleat
IN panel effect come from the collar,
tapering to the waist line, then spread.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06
OVER-CAUTIOUS.

stVOU can do any good work in the world without
offending somebody said Congressman Long
worth in a recent address ''The man who makes
enemies is the man who does good
'tSome mon, but for this fear of making enemies,
might accomplish something AS it is, they reminl
of the dying man who too cautious even to
make his peace with Providence.
90 Do you renounce the devil and all his worksli
the minister said to this man. 'l
And the dying replied in weak, hesitatiug
voice.: = @.. .-- =,
g Please don t ask that. I'm going to
strange country and l don't want to make myself
enemies. - ,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06
Low Outing Rates.

Tickets on sale Friday and Saturday
Of each week until October 31st, at the
rate Of one fare for the round trip,
to Henning, Clitheral, Baale Lake, Fer
gus Falls, Bemidii, Pine River, Walker
and Deerwood, on Northern Pacific
Railway On sale Saturdays to Detroit
and Perham at same rate Children Of
half fare age, half of the above rate.
Tickets good returning Monday. G.. F..
Mcneil, G: q. A., Northern Pacific Rail-
way, 10 Nicollet Block, Minneapolis.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06
a SUNDAY SCHOOL WORKER,

COLONEL JAMES NJ. -GUFFEY, the political leader,
~, said in Philadelphia, apropos of the Fourth:
1.-Two scrubwomen were conversing the other day
about their children
My boy Tom,' said the first woman. lis gettin'
to be great Sunday school worker bless his little
heart =.,.. 4-2-:"G ..-....,- 49,. o..
= g Indeed said the other.
"s'Yes, ,! said the first. He has worked three
schools for Fourth of July picnies already, -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06

Turpentines and beeswax melted to
the consistency Of thin cream make a
fine polish for Leather pholstered-furr
niture,
Wien burning vegetable refuse in
stove or furnace. put, a. handful of salt
into the fire with it and there will be
no unpleasant od~-
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06
Where Feminine Fancy Lights

wholesome interest. in life-is happier
herself and makes those about her
happy. "A. -- .sCas 49, ,. ..s-.. T..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-06

Saturday night at Mr.. Dooey' Dooley In the chair
Present, Mr. Lar'n and Mr.: Mekenna. Present but
not voting, Mr., Hennessy and MIR. schwartzmester.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1906-09-28
Meeting of Extremes.

In hunters camp different men
began to unfold their yarns. Among
others Kentuckian said he once shot
a buck in such way that the bullet,
after hitting the right ear, passed
through the heel Of the right hind foot.
Jeering and laughter greeted the story.
Brown" called the Kentuckian to
his companion, tell these fellows If
what l say is not as true as gospel!"
"Why, yes" replied the other, 81 saw
1t myself. You see, gentlemen, when
he pulled the trigger of his rifle the
buck was just scratching his head with
his hoof."
Then he whispered to his friend:
"Thatwas narrow escape. Another
time don't lie so far apart."-New
York Times.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1906-09-28

was decorated in 1865. Twenty years
later the list of women legionaries in
cluded less than a score.
The Order of the Legion Of Honor
was established in 1902, when Napoleon
was at the height of his glory. 1t be-
came a prize for which the officers and
men in the Napoleonic armies were
ready to take the most desperate
chances on the field of battle, and the
man upon whose breast the order was
pinned by the emperor himself, after
some hard-won victory, felt that no
greater honor could be bestowed upon
him.
The decoration was not limited, how
ever. to the heroes of war. Distin-
guished service to the state or the pub
lie in civil life also was rewarded by
the cross, which came to be so dear
to the hearts of the French people that
the order was maintained after the
fall Of the Napoleonic regime.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1906-09-28

gets interested in one or more of them
and spends a great deal Of time and
energy pursuing them.
No doubt a person can run a thing
into the ground and make 1t harm
full, even though of itself it be a good
thing. But we believe that every per-
son should have at least one side issue
tf fad from HE regular vocation.
After one gives 80 much time every
day to the routine of work, to turn
aside for while and take up golfing,
tennis, or physical culture, or other
outdoor sport, Is restful and beneficial.
True, some people do become regular
cranks on health culture, diet, bath
ing, athletic sports, etc, but any one
Of these, pursued in moderation, with
common sense, can be made Of a great
deal Of use, especially to the person
confined in an office all day. 1t brings
into play muscles that are unused, and
1t drives from his mind all business
cares and sets another train Of thought
SOi'S' iNSooOhupiO dllChtiou W ulct anu
bathing is also sure to improve health.
The woman who is confined to her
home the larger part of the day with
housework will find golf or tennis or
an hour spent in physical culture a re-
lief to tired muscles and nerves.
Change and variety in our daily rou-
tine Is necessary to our well-being. No
matter what our regular vocation may
be, it is harmful to get into a rut. Just
simply going through treadmill of
duty day after day, with no let-up. One
should always try to bring into each
day some new activity, some new train
Of thought. 1t is not wise thing to
get into a certain groove and just sim
ply wear ones life away. Monotony
kills quicker than anything else. We
should have our daily work, in which
we are interested, put our energy and
enthusiasm into it, and do it with all
our might. Then, when that is done
turn to some other form Of activity
or rest.-Medical Talk.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1906-09-28
Not His Age.

The oldest youngster In the Senate Of
the United States is Pettus Of Ala
bama. The Southerner says that a
man who does not grow old as rapidly
as do his friends Is at certain dis.
advantage In their presence. The Sem
ator Is moved to this reflection by an
incident occurring at the recent cere-
monies attending the laying of the cor
ner-stone Of the new Senate Office build
ing.
venerable old fellow, much bent
and broken, approached the Alabaman,
whom he took by the hand, affection
ately inquiring as to his health.
II am in excellent health" briskly
responded Mr.. Pettus, not recognizing
the old gentleman.
"Why, don't you know me, Pettus? ~
came in surprised tone from the other,
who gave such clear evidence of the
flight Of years, 1--WE were classmates"
Whereupon Mr.. Pettus remembered /;
and the two had friendly chat.
When the old chap had departed,
Mr.. Pettus turned to a colleague, OBJ
serving
II knew that gentleman was Just my
age, but God bless me, l didn't dream
that was his "-American Spectator.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1906-09-28
Thrifty Italian.

There are certain Americans who
are always saying that they can't get
profitable jobs or make decent livings
because Of the foreigners who over
run this country" remarked the man
who keeps his eyes open. "If they put
half the spirit into their work that
some Of their foreign competitors do
they'd have fewer kicks coming, l
think. l was walking through Hal
sted street few days ago, and saw
there an example of business enter
prise hard to beat.
"As l walked along l was assailed
by an Italian bootblack so persistent.
ly that finally l let him attend to me.
His stand was directly in front of a
little cobbler's shop, which, l learned,
he also ran. l noticed as he blacked
my boots that he constantly kept an
eye toward the street. Presently a
child went to a pushcart laden with
fruit. She made her own selection,
then turned to pay the proprietor.
Coma here" yelled my bootblack,
never stopping his work on my feet.
1t was all clear profit, he explained,
this money from two pushcarts. They
took no time, and yielded good In
come, which helped out materially his
two other dustries.-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1906-09-28
GIVEN LEGION CROSS.

Bernhardt Decorated with Much-
Priced Emblem of French Order.
Sarah Bernhardt has been decorated
with the Cross of the Legion Of Honor
in Paris, after years Of agitation over
the question whether that distinction
could be conferred on her.
Nine Bernhardt is one of the few
women who have been admitted into
the famous order founded by Napoleon,
although Of its living members she Is
by far the most widely known and most
famous. Merit in military or civil life
being the prerequisite for the decora-
tion, the field of artistic endeavor is the
only one in which a woman can hope to
achieve the renown that will bring her
the coveted emblem. Even then she
must be a Rosa Bonheur or Bern
hardt in order to win recognition.
For many years the coveted decora-
tlon was denied to Nine. Bernhardt, al
though another actress, Nine. Bartet,
received 1t more than a>year ago. The
first woman to be honored with this
distinction was Nine Bonheur who