The Virginia enterprise., 1906-12-07
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Twas tn OIL gag iv the. conf1dince
man." said Policeman Flynn in tell
ing about it, ''but tn felly: from tn
country was sorry f'r him, an he says
to me. bein' in a bit iv doubt from all
ned hear-rd iv city wa-ays: IT you
was me- he says, what w'u'd ye dor
An l says to him: If was you,s I
says, I'd ha-ave guardeen app'inted
an thin hire a guide An he wint
awa-ay ma-ad
"But it's tn women gives me tn
most throuble. Ohio! tn women!
Nine out iv livery tin iv thin Is lack
1n'>ner-rve or ilse sinse.. Wan iv thin
shteps out a fut or two an thin r-runs
back. Thin she thries it wanst more,
an It's up to me f'r to iscoort her
acrost. TIL mkt wan ducks her head
an goes like chicken crossin'
r-road. I caught wan iv that kind
yisterda-ay whin she was r-runnin'
fright under pair iv prancin'
hor-rses. Dye think ye're a bir-rd?',
says l, that ye can shpread ye-er
wings and ma-ake straight Nne?'
An 1nstid iv thankin' me she wint
AWAY ma-ad, too."
OF course, in time the fame of Po-
l1ceman Flynn's methods and COM
ments reached headquarters, owing to
some complaints that were made, and
he was given quiet reprimand.
Above all things you must be cour-
teous," he was told, and, with his GUS
tomary desire to master completely
anything that he undertook, he went
out to buy book on etiquette. This
was his undoing, for it is indeed a wise
man who knows how to utilize the in
formation in such volume. He fol-
lowed the instructions implicitly, and
many a woman wondered at the elab-
orateness of his bow and the tactful
nature Of his reply when he was asked
to do some absurd thing entirely out
Of the hne of his duty; for women are
occasionally unreasonable in their re-
quests of the guardians Of the law.
He even kept his temper and acted
with creditable discretion when he was
asked to run back a block or two and
see II he could find the lap-dog a wom-
an had dropped out Of her victoria.
But the etiquette book was responsible
TOT his Waterloo, nevertheless, and
the night he was sent back to patrol
duty he threw it in the fire before even
explaining the matter to his wife.
Twas all along iv thryin' to be po-
lite an tac'ful," he finally explained.
whats polite an complimentary to
an akel Is praysum' tion to a soopeer-
yer. Ye see, twas this wa-ay:
a fne-1uKin' girl " 1y or
20--got mixed up ~bechune two teams.
an was like to be r-run down whin I
saw her. Twas no time to thinkiv tn
"a-ay to get her out. Amy wa-ay all
was good wa-ay, an 1 gr-rabbed her
r-round tn waist an carried her to
wan side. oh, SIR she says whin she
got her breath back, how can iver
tha-ank ye? 'Maam,' says I, liftin'
me helmet an thinkin' iv tn book on
manners, TIL pleasure I says, is all
mine Sir She says, givin' me a hity-
t1ty LUX an shpeakin' cold, 4 will see
that ye are ray-warded.' tMa'am.' saws
|, tn mim'ry iv tn hayward I've al
ready had will go with me to tho
gra-ave."
What hayward had ye had, Bar
ney?" inquired Mrs. Flynn.
She asked me tn sa-ame QUESTION"
said Policeman Flynn.
An what did ye sa-ay to herr"
Il says to her, 'Ma'am,' I says, bow.
IN low like tn pictures in tn etikft
book, ''tis worth more than th' r-risk
l r-run,' says, FIR to have had sich
a beautiful bundle In me ARMS"
Copyright, by the Century 20