davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
GLOBE HGHTs.
[From the Atchigon Globe.l


The only secret on earth Is the one
no one knows but yourself.
The trouble is when these are plenty
of seats for all. the band. concert is
poor.
When you tell friend what is best
for him to do, you simply open an
argument.
Ask a farmer what time it is. and
he will glance at the sun before look
ing at his watch.
The Stage Farmer is as big a carl
cature as the Stage Irishman, or the
Stage Englishman
When a very old man. whose habits
are good, takes an occasional drink too
much, people look upon it as some
thing that was coming to him.
The big apples, the big potatoes. the
big pumpkins etc. produced this year,
are entirely too big for the small sized
families now fashionable. Something
will have to be done to adjust this DIFF
ference IN size.
In a dramatizaion Of one Of Hall
Gaines new books a real cow is MIXED
on the stage by a real milkmaid. Pay
ing a dollar to see a COW MIXED will
be regarded as good deal Of a joke
/ in the country.
The Globe likes to stand by home
] institutions, but after hearing the
| PEELED to say that the playing of Oar
! dis colored band on the streets this
morning was somewhat rough.
A new story is being told on the
! Town Mean Man. When circus pa
rade is passing along Commercial
street he goes into a store, and insists
on the clerks coming in and waiting on
him. He will not buy at any other
time.
swearing in small country towns than
in cities? There are more young men
in country towns, apparently. who
think 1t smart to swear. And If there
ever was a fool notion, it is that 1t is
smart to swear.
There are several ways of being &c
centric. One man will make special
ty of queer looking hats; another will
wear only toothpick shoes; another Is
cranky about something else' and sc
on down the list. We all have 1t IN US
to be queer about something.
If this sending of warships to a for
eien country every time American in
terests are at stake, does any good
then why doesn't Kin Commission
General Lysander John Appleton O
Atchison. apply the principle to NOR
important affairs OF life, and send
warship to the scene every time
mans kin cause him troubles
Several years ago there lived il
Atchtson a man who had the notion
that It was smart to be disagreeable a
every opportunity, instead OF agreeable
As a result people soon hated him cor
s daily. and he was compelled to leav
: town, or starve to death. No mai
ever made a success in life VIII
thought it smart to be disagreeable.
What a fool a drunken man is t
s walk into a public place. and adver
e tfse his folly with silly jokes! Such
r man walked into an Atchison res
, taurant today at noon, and began be
. ing funny with the waiter girls
greatly to the disgust Of the othe
8 guests. The proprietor then appeare
and said: You can't eat in this place
q yos7. are only at to eat tree lunch"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
Only Their Wax

Now and then I read OF acts of
lawlessness in the states said an
American engaged in mining in
South American state, 'but for the
real cool thing you must come down
to the other portion of the continent.
I was having a confab with the presi-
dent one day when a citizen came hur-
rying IN and said;
" Your excellency, the mob is hang
got hold of a man at your door,
so? Wen, let them give him a
scaren' was the reply.
THE citizen was back in two min
utes to report;
Your exceAsncy. the mob is hang
ing the man to a lampposti
SO? Well, he doubtless deserves
hanging
THE man retired, and this time it
was five minutes before he returned
and announced:
your execllency. the man has
been hanged!
'So?'
He is dead.''
sYes?'
He was your private secretary
Eth Eth? Then I must get anoth-
er. Please hunt me up some one -
NJ. Quad.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
CoIunbia rive Ice MING.

An ice mine in the Columbia river
covers a large part of an island OPP
posite Latourell. The residents of this
part of Oregon have for ten years, to
my knowledge, been accustomed to
getting their ice from this mine all
during the summer for making ice
cream and frozen dishes.
They row across to the island in a
small boat. dig below the sandy sur
face and throw out great spadefuls
of the ice. which they load into gun
ny bags and carry back to their
homes. No one in particular seems
to own the island or have charge Of
the ice mine. It Is free to all corners.
Naturally, the ice is not clear, being
mixed Withstand and gravel, and more
of the consistency of frozen snow than
of ice.
When the river is high the island
is partly submerged with water, but
this condition does not seem to affect
the ice How deep it is I have no
idea, as no one has attempted to
sound it.-Correspondenee Portland
Oregonian.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Messrs. Stubs, Troutman. ct al, will
print a book containing the names Of
those candidates who have lined up for
the Square Deal questions and Charlie
Harper refers to it as The Rabbit
Book. It will not. however. be uni
form with The Helpful Hen, The Gull
tured Cow, The Beef Steer, and others
Of Mr.. Coburn's welI-known works.
=
We Judge William Green has 9. hard
race before him. The Ministerial
union and all the newspapers are
united in his favor.
=
Our idea Of real vacuum is the
way oyster Bay feels today.
Reading between the lines, We Judge
that the car took his trunk to Copen-
hagen with him instead OF his suit
case.
We presume that two-column obit-
nary OF himself which Candidate
Swendson contributes to the literature
of the period. is intensely interesting.
but this department would have felt
more like reading it If he had said it
in about three sticks.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

wabbiy. half-hystsrical voice. SILVER.
ing In his arms.
Suddenly, at touch of her, a strange
sweet madness seized him. and he COW
cred her face with kisses. holding her
tight, while she, bewildered By new,
shy happiness. lay passive in his arms.
It was some months later that 3 ma
tron said, In Mrs. Bakers hearing,
Jimmy Marshall and his wife seem
desperately in love with each ether.
YES" responded that lady pIacidly.
ut was a case Of love at first sight
I know OF what speak because I was
with them when they met Indeed, /
may say that I saw It from the first.
she added with bland conviction.
Copyright, 1906, by Ruby Douglas)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
KANSAS cOANENT


When John A. Martin was forty
years old he had never made a speech
and certainly showed less talent ana
aptitude as a successful stump speak
er than any prominent man in KAN
sas at that time. When he entered
politics he commenced to practice
public speaking. At first his most
partial friends had to admit, the re
suits were very Indifferent and dis
couraging. Yet before he left the
governors Office he could and did
make excellent and entertaining ad-
dresses. Ten years ago no one ever
dreamed that middle aged r. W. Hoch,
a country newspaper editor, would de-
veIop in less than a decade into one of
the most finished orators and popular
spellbinders Kansas has produced.
This rather does away with the theory
that popular oratory like writing
poetry is a natural gift and in the alb
sence Of the gift cannot be acquired
Holton Recorder.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
THE "WANT ADJ

Magazine readers have probably
noted in the last few months the APP
pearance of the want adj in the adj
vertising section of the monthly peri
odicaIs. Coolers Weekly has also
taken " the idea. These publications
try to dignity this sort of advertising
by calling it classified service" but
il is really the same as the Timers" or
wants ads" of the daily papers.
This species of advertising is de-
signed primarily for the individual
who cannot be a regular advertiser, or
who advertises only on a small scale
He may have a piano for sale, or he
may wish to rent a house. or he may
desire to hire help. Two or three lines
to that erect in some obscure part Of a
big daily paper might perhaps be over
looked by the reader who is looking for
that very thing, and hence classified
advertising has been invented Thus
the person who is looking Tor a place
to work. the one who desires to rent a
house. and the one that wishes to buy
a horse, knows exactly where to look
for that in which he is interested.
Thousands of people. too, read the
want columns just as regularly as
they do the news. frequently finding
something that interests them.
So It happens that the magazines
have come to realize the value of this
form of publicity. and now they ars
wondering why they never thought Of
It before. Classified advertising in
magazine, however. differs from tina
in a newspaper, in that the latter il
| largely local in character.
The fact that the magazines have
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
AMAKENING CHINA.

The decision of the. Chinese Imperial
Telegraphs to adopt a uniform and Off
cial spelling, in Roman characters. Of
the names Of towns and cities of the
empire will afford abundant material
for the photographers and the joke-wri
tiers, but there is underlying this simple
and obvious announcement q fact of
immense significance. To adopt the
telegraph at all, in a country where the
written language is Geographic, involv-
ed a profound change in customs. Per-
haps the telegraph is going to be one
of the agencies for bringing about a
greater and more general change in the
written and printed language of lands
like China and Japan At all events,
scholars in Japan have long considered
the question Of adopting letters repre-
senting sounds to replace the present
word signs. Such change would be
more far-reaching than all the revolu-
lions of Meiji; it would erect a barrier
against the past literature Of Japan,
but it would bring the east and west
into relations for closer than can ever
be hoped for while the existing barriers
of language remain.-Philadelph Pub
lie Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
over Caution.

s.You can't do any good work in the
world without offending somebody
said Congressman Longworth in an adj
dress. The man who makes no enemies
is the man who does no good.
sSome men but for this fear of MAX
ing enemies might accomplish some
thing. AS it is, they remind me of the
dying man who was too cautious even
TO make his peace with Providence
2 DO you renounce the devil and ali
his works? 2 the minister said to this
man.
And the dying man replied in weak
hesitating voice:
q Please don't ask me that. I'm go
ing to a strange country, and I don't
want to make myself enemies New
York Tribune
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
POINTED PARAGRAPHa.
[From the Chicago News.l

TFrom the Chicago News-l
Don't get careless and drop too many
hints
Those who sin are not anxious to col
lect the wages
It seems passing strange when some
things come tc pass.
A girl in love is almost as miserable
as one who isn't
Yes, AIonzo, foul weather sometimes
boosts the price Of eggs.
A woman doesn't like a mirror that
makes things plain to her
What you know you are amounts to
more than what others think you are
After a man has taken aboard a few
hiRhballs he begins to look Ike the reel
thing.
like to have people compliment her on
her perfect figure.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

They were discussing tariff revision
in the Sabetha town real estate Office
last week. The argument was heated.
Uncle Jake Peltzer is for tariff revi-
sion. "Rous NIT 'em, all you ISIS for
protection, yet said Uncle Jake;
didn't you got no sense yet? BrOtec-
ton is like a fine tooth comb, alretty.
There was a time when we must have
him to protect our infants, but the
march of civilization make no more use
for him. amt it?''-Sa betha Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
Sawdust.

It seemed a monstrous1y impossible
thing for US two to starve, yet starve
we must and that right presently, un-
less relief should come, says a writer
in Puck. We were even now on our
last bootleg. OF the supplies we had
laid in, nothing remained but a tin Of
nutmegs.
"Of course we can't eat nutmegs,"
[ muttered, half delirious.
Suddenly PaoH leaped to his feet.
Bring me those nutmegs!" he cried,
in a tense voice.
I brought him the tin. He glanced
at the names on the label and a wild
shout of exultation burst from his lips.
"They arel They are Connecticut
goods The bucksawl Quick" he
shrieked, and trembled like a leaf with
excitement.
I began to see. In feverish haste I
brought the bucksaw.
It was soon over. In less than ten
minutes we sat each with his dish of
breakfast food before him, and ate,
and laughed and wept Historically.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

About the right thing for Repub-
licans to do who want fair play on
railroad rates in Kansas, is to vote
against the nominees for railroad COM
mfssioners that the railroad interests
forced on the Republican ticket. Po-
litical prejudiees have long been one
of the biggest assets of the railroads.
Men have cheerfuly submitted to be-
ing robbed rather than step one foot
over the party line. All the railroads
had to do was to issue passes to all the
professional politicians. bring In their
strikers and attorneys from all over
the state, capture the convention of
the dominant party, whichever 1t hap
pened to be, and their work was done
They then had q board of commits
sioners nominated that would do as
they were told, just as our Kansas
board does now and just as the next
Republican board will do if elected
The absolute folly of such proceedings
is gradually dawning on the people,
however, and the time will soon be
here when the party will have to either
nominate men who stand for what the
voters want or else be uncermonious-
ly kicked out of the way.-JeweIl Re
publican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

Waladotta, or Gray Eagle, an IN
dian chief who took part in the Custer
massacre, and, like many other of the
victorious force in that fight took refueg
in the Canadian northwest from the
vengeance of the United States, has re-
Gently died at Prince Albert, Sas-
katchewan. Unlike some of his com
panions, however. when the rebe1liOus
half breeds in Saskatchewan called the
Indians to their aid he not only re-
fused, but took an active part in the
war on the white mans part He was
a peculiarly fine specimen OF the RED
Indian. both physically and morally,
for he was six feet four inches tall and
conspicuously free from vicious habits.
Not long before his death he re-
nounced paganism and entered the
ANGLICAN communion, in which his
children had always been brought up
chicago Inter-Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
Conkling's recipe for Success.

MARYLAND. first came to the senate, Mr..
Conkling and he happened to be seat
ed together upon a sofa in the senate
chamber while well known statesman
Of the period occupied the floor. Cor
man" said ConkIing, you have come
here in good season. Let me give you a
sure recipe for success. Begin every
speech you make with the assertion
that you, and you alone, are the pur-
EST man that ever lived, and end each
with the declaration that you are the
bravest." And when German asked
Conkling why he himself had not fol-
lowed this rescript, Conkling answered
with sigh: Il learned 1t too late
Henry Watterson in The Reader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

adopted this form of advertising en-
phasizes its value. but atilI q great
many people do not realize how sim
ply and cheaply their wants can be
supplied through the medium of the
want columns of the daily newspa-
per. The want page is the trading
mart of the twentieth century.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

The Rev Frederick b Bridgeman.
the noted and successful missionary to
the Zulus, was talking in Philadelphia
about missionary work.
Much depends upon the character
Of people one works among. he said,
missionary who returned home from
China in a respondent mood. A Chin
csc convert stole this missionary s
watch and then came back to him the
next morning to learn how to wind Il
50. Phlladelphla Bulletin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

Topeka Just couldn't get along with
ont politics. The state campaign will
close ave weeks hence. and then the
legislature will meet, and a United
states senator must be elected, but al
ready we have started next springs
municipal campaign, just to keep
tls4ngs" moving.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

1t is. rumored at Garden City that
new sugar factory will be built in
Rearney county the coming summer.
n 90. this will make two big sugar
niants in southwestern Kansas. A
few months ago the United States Su-
~sr and Land company increased its
ospitalization to s5.O0o,oOO, for the
purpose, 1t was stated, of building a
million dollar factory at Sheridan,
wyoming. Now it is reported that the
sheridan project has been abandoned.
ana the new factory will be located in
lie Arkansas valley In Kansas instead.
re this sugar beet business keeps up,
kansas will. in few years, be feed
fns the nation its sugar as well as its
bread and much of its meat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
TI,e fruits OF knowledge.

On the occasion Of the last FOOTBALL
match between Yale and Harvard,
which took place at New Haven, the
crowd that came to witness the match,
estimated at over thirty thousand, so
filed the streets OF the Elm City that
there were large groups of people
The little daughter of a well known
clergyman was, on the day Of the
match, taking a walk with her mother:
when she saw the great throngs Of
people all around her wherever she
went. she showed her early religious
training by excIaiming:
what is It. mamma-Resurrec tion
day 2''=FIarpers Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

Governor Hoch says there is no dan
e 10 the Republican ticket from the
hibition issue. the Katy issue, or
4aa school book issue. Let's see-is
t5st zlI OF them ? WIN somebody please
-s7f the roll of the issues?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

a western Kansas man. who is used
20 nothing more rough than driving
over buffalo wallOws on his native
heath. committed the error of loading
sgp on Joint whisky and then trying to
navigate down Kansas avenue Topeka
serves notice, however, that In snort
sine Kansas avenue will be as smooth
as a skating rink floor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

CHARLES M. Harger refers to the book
s3aich bfr. Stubs and his friends will
rnblisn containing the names of those
Who answer the Square Deal questions,
IS THE Rabbit Book. Mebbe those
.sndldates will run that way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

IFrom the New York Press
What a woman likes most about get
ting presents is trying to ind out what
they cost.
A nice thing about living in a nat is
how much you Will enjoy real home
when you get It.
man is so constituted that he
would kick against drinking whisky il
the doctor prescribed it.
The only time a small boy appre-
ciates his relatives IS when he has =
birthday and they remember him.
When a woman has a new hat it IS
sign she tells her friends 1t cost
twice as much as it did, and her hus~
band half as muche
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

The New York World says that
if Hearst is nominated for governor, it
will kill the Democratic party. What
the World meant to say, no doubt, was
that if Hearst Is nominated. the Dem
ocratic party Will be buried.-Salina
Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
TIMES CHANCE.

Senator Long takes Senator Allison
for his model and there are indications
that Congressman Scott bows down at
the same shrine. There was a time
when Kansas statesmen were a model
unto themselves and insisted on set
ting the pace regardless of precedent
established by the effete east. Now
we seem to have fallen upon different
times and are represented by differ
ent class Of men.-HoIten Recorder.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

1t is announced that a football game
under the new rules doesn't thrill 1t
as pretty hard to get interested In
narlor boxing match after one has
l,een used to real prize fights.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

rhe New York Evening Post says the
New York Central lis daily making
friends for Mr. Bryan's theory Of gov
eminent ownership" Well if the New
york Central read the State Journal
last Friday it found out how to make
ne BRYAN theory popular.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

1he car has gone to Denmark. &C
5raing to reports that are current in
a4<is. with view to beneaung his
Aalth. It is doubtless true that St
Petersburg has been an extremely
unhealthy place for him for several
.-nnLhs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

There is news of rain in the wheat
belt. which is really much better news
4han whether Governor Hoch or Colo
nal Harris is ahead.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

George B. Harrison, formerly a To-
pelza newspaper man. has purchased
an interest IN the Garden City Imprint.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
A QUESTION ANSWERED.

Frank farrell wants to know what
has become of Burton's paper. From
what we can learn by hearsay a good
many people are still holding it,
Osborne Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02

Once more must Oyster Bay take a
hack seat for a few months The
Roosevelts have returned to Washing
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-02
AN EAsY zoe.

king Haakon. of Norway, says he
find it very pleasant to wear a crown
and is unable to understand why mon
archs should ever be worried. 1t should
be remembers however, that being a
king in Norway is a good deal like be-
ing vice president in the United States
-Sedalia Sentinel.