The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-23

Ha a s tCopyright. 1908. by H. H. Mcclure and
 We'll sir.f said MT, Dooiey. T see they're been holdin' a Divoorce Con- gress'
 What's that?. asked Mir. Hennessy
 "Te wuldden't. know.g~eaid Mir. Doe. ley. Divorce is tn on'y luxury sup piled be tn law that we don't inJye in Ar-rchey Road, Up here whin a marrid couple get to tn pint where tis impossible fr th,m to go on llvin together they go on Twin together GThsv feel that way some mornin in tyry month. but tn next day finds thim stiu giarin. at each other over tn ham an eggs. No wife iver Iaves her hus- band while he has th' breath iy life in him, an amy gintleman that took a thrip to Soo Falls in ordher to saw off th' housekeeptn' expinses on rash successor wud find throuble ready fir him whIn he come back to Arvrchey Road. No. Sir. whin our people grab hands at tn, altar they're booked up f'rfver. Marredge with us Is a life sintince at hard labor. There's on Y wan decree ty divorce that tn neigh bors will recognize. an that's tn wan that entities se to ride just behind tn pail bearers. That's why I'm q batch. Iris tn fine slkylark iv q tlmp- rary husband I'd make. brlngln home new wife iyry Foorth iv July an iischargin tn old wan without charackter. But tn customs iv th fleighbors are agin it.
 "But 'tis diff'r rent with others, Hip- missy. Down be Mitchigan Avnoo mar redge is no more bindin, thin a dhrerrs 4 short marrid life an an ouhappy wan is their motto, Of with tn old love an' on with tn new an off with that 'Tfil death us do part says tn preach CT. Or tn jury. wifispers th' niusAin bride.
 ..Th' Divoorce Congress. Hinnissy. that I'm teIIIn' ye about was assembled to make tn laws. iv all tn States on divorce tn same. It's q tur-rble scan dai as it is now. man shakes his wife in wana State on'y to be grabbed be her an led home tn minnytt ne crosses tn border. There's no safety f'r amy wan. In some places it's al- most impossible f'r man to get rid iv his family onless he has a good raison. There's no regularity at all about it In Kentucky baldt ess is grounds t'r divorce; in Ohio tn inciemency tv tn weather. In Illinye a woman can be freed firm tn gallin' bonds iv mathrt- nony because her husband wears Con- gress gaiters; in Wisconsin thl old man can get his maiden name back be- cause his wife tells fortunes in tn tascup.
 ''In Nebrasky tn shaakIes ar-re bust ed because father forgot to wipe his boots; in New York because mother knows a Judge in South Dakota. xe can be divorced fr sannything if ys know where to lodge tn complaint. Among tn grounds ar-Fs snorin'. deef- ness, because wan iv tn parties dhrinks an tn other doesn't. because, wan don't dhrink an tn other does, because they both dhrink, because tn. husband Is Iosin' his teeth because tn wife is ad- dicted to sick headaches, because he asked her what she, did with that last sfo he gave her. because he knows Aorae wan else, because she .injyes th' society iv tn young. because he frEot to wind ta, clock because she wears a switch. Al husband can get a divoorce because nc has more money thin he had; a wife because he has less. Ye can always get q diYoorce fir what Hogan calls ineonipatibility iv temper That's whin husband an wife ar-re both cross at tli' same time. Ye'd call it d tiff in ye'er family. Hipnissy.
 But, mind ye. none iv these reasons go in sEny two States. A man that wants to be pICrerly divorced so there's no denRei whin he crosses tn river at c,rc;ni atty that he'll have to wheel tn baby carredge that give him his freedom will havo to start out an do a tcur iv our gr-reat Raypublic An be tn time he's tpurly released he may want to do 1t sll over again with tn second ohoic, iv bis. wilds glad heart.
 "it wud be a grand thing if 1t eud be straightened out. Tn laws ought to be tn same ivrywhere. Tn amy part iv this fair lnnd iv ours it shud be th right iv amy man to set "a divoorce' with alimonv, simply be goin before a Justice iy tn Peace an makin' an any davit that tn lajv ; face had grown too bleak f.r his taste. He Hivens I'd go farther. Rather thanf have people en- djlre this sarvice hood I'd let amy man escape be Jumpin' tn conthract' All he'd have to do If I was R-runnin' this Government wud be to put some clothes in tn grip. write note to his wife that a:ther thinkin 1t over If forty years he had made up his mind that his " arm nature was not suited io faaITSdse with tn mother iv