The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-05-05
GOOD
Short tories

| AT recent political meeting in Eng
land, the speaker made jest, and, find
Ing that his audience had missed the
point of it, said, playfully: Il had
hoped, gentlemen, that you would laugh
at that" A plaintive voice came
through the silence, Il laughed, mister"
Then everybody did
A well-known Scotch author and
young friend of his had spent the whole
day on the links, and had had some
close and exciting matches AS they left
for home, the elder man remarked DO
you think you could play again to-mor-
row, laddie" WELL" answered the
youth, Il was to be married tomorrow,
but can put it Off"
Proprietors of big concerns get &C.
customed to silent commentator and
outspoken complaints. They are a great
deal like certain restaurant manager.
TO this manager patron said one af-
ternoon: Where did you get that
beef that you served me for lunch?"
And the manager. confident that COM
plant was Forthcoming, said, hotly:
well, sir, what was the matter with
the beef?' Nothing" said the patron;
that was why asked"
A certain Irishwoman, on her death
bed, called her husband to her side.
Patrick" she said, i've last ray
quist to make of ye.' II couldn't ray
fuse We anything Mary, darlint," re-
Ennndn1 m
rick" said Mary, solemnly, II want We
sh'ud leave mother ride in the carriage
beside We to me funerl" "'Tis too
much ye're askin Of me, Mary ~ cried
Pat, springing to his feet in despera-
ton. Mary, however, was determined
on this point, and Pat finally yielded
to her last rayquist." FIJI lave her
ride be me side" he promised, weeping
bitterly, but mark We, Mary, darlint,
twill shpoil the day fur me entoriely,
that it Will"
When Representative Smith of Iowa
was fledgling attorney he was anx-
ious to make reputation for himself.
prisoner was brought before the bar
In the criminal court In Iowa, but he
was not represented by lawyer.
Where Is your lawyer" inquired the
Judge who presided. II have none"
responded the prisoner. "Why haven't
your" Haven't any money with which
to pay a lawyer" do you want
lawyer" asked the judge Yes, your
honor" There Is Walter l. Smith,
John Brown, George Green" said the
judge, pointing to lot Of young at
torneys who were about the court
waiting for something to turn up. And
Mr.. Alexander is out In the corridor"
The prisoner eyed the budding attor-
neys in the courtroom, and after a
critical survey stroked his chin and
said: "W-a-ll, 1 guess 1 will take Mr.
Alexander"
Frank N. Doubleday, the New York
publisher, was in England last winter,
and had several talks with Rudyard
Kipling. One of the stories Kipling
told him was this: II was in Cape
Town, South Africa, talking with DIR.
Jameson, when the papers came with
the story of the revolution In Panama,
the secession of the canal zone, and the
formation Of the Republic Of Panama.
This particular story said that the
whole scheme had been engineered by
President Roosevelt, which is untrue,
of course, but that is the way the story
went Jameson read 1t aloud to me,
and when he had finished, said: Cad,
Kipling, that makes my little expedi-
ton look foolish!" Doubleday thought
the story was very good. Next time he
came to Washington he told it to the
President, expecting to get laugh. 81
fail to see the joke" said the President
tartly, and when Doubleday thought 1t
over he failed to see it, too.