davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
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TWhat Trick ~, shasf's 1saoteuou.
asked.
"Why, the sbYunR nan H1psea aud
locks, unassisted and within Aye xnin.
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woman fot q week "trip to the ssar;:
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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
FIRST PRIZE
This Story Gets SIS.
Papa Got Tired.

Essay, papa, you was telling Mr..
Crummage bout shootin' a eagle on
th wing Which wing was it7'
"You don't understand, Bobby. It
was a soaring eagle I shot,
"Did it make him sore when you shot
him, papa?''
up in the air-enjoying a long fly"
''Do eagles eat long flies, papa7'
"Jane, why don't you put the child
10 bed Hanna Anderson.
Thompson, N. D.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
How to Pick q Gardener.

Mrs. Murray had advertised for a
skilled gardener, and somewhat to her
embarrassment she was obliged to
choose between two applicants who
TODD on her doorstep, questioning
4 Iem, she became aware that her
/ rther-in-law, seated on the porch
Fl $rt distance away and directly be-
| the men, was pointing unmistakaJ
toward the less prepossessing Of the.
men, and the younger woman, sun.
k that her relative had some per-
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
Friends in Both Places.

At a dinner party the subject of eter-
nal life and future punishment came
up for lengthy discussion, in which
Mark Twain, who was present, took no
part. A lady near him turned toward
him suddenly and exclaimed:
Why do you not say anything7 I
want your opinion.'
Twain replied very gravely:
silent Of necessity. I have friends in
both places.' j. M. r.
Ada, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19

ulate back Of her waist. She hesitated
a bit, and then she said, with win.
ming smile: ,..-.
"Of course I'll dance with you, but
if you don't mind won t you please use
your handkerchief -
The man looked at her blankly a mo-
ment or two. Then light broke over
his face.
,nWhy, certainly he said, and he
pulled out his handkerchief and blew
his nose. ..-.-. M. w,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19

little girl, "only We canst find my ten
mis- ball and we think perhaps the
baby Is swallowed it,
Dear me, = said the reverend gentle.
man, 9 and 20 you want the doctor.
Well, I IN doctor. Won I dof,'
Tho little girl eyed him q moment In
. brown study, aid then shaking her
head, "No,0 she said. "We want a
doctor that practices, not one that
preaches.u Charles Howe,
Boston, Mass.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
Force Of Habit

D Valentine ut on,i tells Is, Of Kansas
himself on his precise and scrupulous
use Of words. One Sunday the good
man was praying FOR elevating grace
and renewed working force.
sob, Lord" he pleaded, awaken
thy cause in the hearts of this congrega-
tion and give them new eyes to see and
impulse to do. Send down thy lever
Or leev-er, according to Webster Is or
Worcester'B dictionary, whichever You
use, and pry them into activity"
This lawyer and some of his friends,
who happened to be there, snorted just
a little and the "amen' followed
quickly and with a jerk.
Osakis, MINI. 20. e. Warberg.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
Disappointed.

A car had stopped at busy corner.
Just as the conductor had reached to
yells Of warning and an answering yell
from. outside
"Wait till !. get my clothes on"
cried shrill voice.
The passengers craned their necks
and looked out. A small boy with a
basket Of clothes was trying to get
aboard. C. w.
Excelsior, MINI. T.. -.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
His AntecedentS.

The will of Stephen Girard provided
that no clergyman should ever be al.
lowed to enter the splendid Girard col
lege at Philadelphia. One day a very
clerical looking man, with immaculate
white eravat and choker, approached
the entrance.
You can't come in here,'' said the
ianitor.
"The - can 'ti' said the stran-
ger.
"oh,' - said the janitor; "excuse me.
Step right in.' HI. B..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
Followed Directions,

Doctor Ito Mrs. Perkins, whose hus-
band is il)-Has he had any lucid in
tervals9
Mrs. Perkins with dignity)-'E's
'ad nothing except what you ordered.
doctor. Miss M. Z. Kimble.
Winnipeg, Man.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
A Handy Girl.

An amusing story is told of a Nor
wegian girl straight from the old coun-
try who was seeking employment in
Minneapolis. The lady asked:
"Can you bake9" and the answer
was "no.'
"Can you washa'
"No.'
"Can you cook anythingq"
"No.'
"Please, ma 'am, I ken milk rein
deers, answered the girl with as
surance. r. D. q.
Jamestown, N. D.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
Lincoln and Seward,

During the darkest period of the
civil war when even the best friends Of
President Lincoln sometimes had their
doubts about the wisdom of his policy,
personal friend called upon him evil
IDENTIFY much troubled because of the in
formation he felt obliged to impart.
"Look here, Mr.. Lincoln,'' he said,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
One Who Practices.

A little girl in Brooklyn was sent in
a hurry to the doctor the other day,
and when she reached the office she
found there the doctor of divinity, the
pastor Of the church, which she attends.
"Well, my little girl,' said the min
lister, who recognized one of his flock,
'What's the matter9 Nothing serious,
J. hope.' j=4 -.. -
~ don't know for sure,o said the
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
True Art Criticism.

Artists not this the finest work Of
art9 Il
Friend-I think that a-.-.. i. 81.
Artist don't want YOU to think:
you must know, if you realize it's true
worth.
Friend-It is the finest work Of art
have ever seen, don It think. +
Mrs. J. E. Mofatt.
Hector, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
House Decorations

We invite correspondence from archi-
tects and owners especially, regarding
the complete decoration and furnishing
Of new homes. AS importers and re-
tailers Of the most exclusive things in
Furniture, Draperies, Lace Curtains,
Wall Paper, Art Objects and Decora-
tive Materials, we offer an exceptional
service not to be duplicated elsewhere.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
A Bicycle Funeral.

Stranger at the Door-Is your father
at home, little girl9
Winnifred-No, sir.
stranger-Can you tell me where he
isl
Winnifred-He has gone to be one Of
the ballbearings at the funeral.
Tracy, MINI. IN. N.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19

Tests Of alcohol and gasolene in the In
ternal combustion engines used in motor We
hicles and motorboats Indicate that a1tho alcohol
has only about 10 per cent as much heating
power as gasolene, 1t can be used with 20
per cent less operating waste.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19

Make a tour Of ali the Minneapolis
Drapery Departments if you wish, be-
fore coming to Boutell IS. Then go
calmly through the vast assortment
here and if you do not instantly pro-
claim ours the bright particular star Of
them all, you will simply be register
ing yourself an exception to the gen.
eral rule. .@F i've +E3
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-19
Joined in the Applause.

Breckenridge, MINI.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
DESIGNS FOR TALKING CLOCKS,

Ue6I0N0 6Ou bA6NtN0 S6VSNo' the hours. half hours and quarter hours, just as a human voice speaks them. It is set the same as an ordi- nary timepiece. In fact the only diff ference between this talking clock and the ordinary clock is that the former is supplied with graphophone in- geniously attached to its mechanism. and which takes the ordinary records. At any time the clock record may be removed and other records put in. making a graphophone out of the clock. As an advertising novelty in stores. Mr. Bishop thinks 1t will also become popular. You may walk into a grocery store, for instance. and the clock tells you to buy Sykes soap" or "Hipp's hominy." or "Olsen's oats"
 MT. Bishop. the inventor of the talk ing clock. is the inventor of many other successful patents. Out of nine claims filed with the United States patent office in behalf of the clock, he has been allowed six. and the others will probably be allowed him.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
MONUMENT ID BURNS. l.
CHICAGO ScoTcHMEN HONOR
 MEMORY OF GREAT POET.
Movement Begun 1s Years Ago to
 Erect Statue Crowned with Sue eess-Work of Noted Edln- t burgh Sculptor.

Chicago.-One of the most notable of the many magnificent monuments erected by Scots the world over to the memory of the great poet of the peo- pie, Bobby" Burns, has just been un- yelled in this city.
 The magnificent bronze, carved by w. Grant Stevenson, the noted Edin- burgh sculptor, is the result of nearly 20 years of patient, loving effort on the part of the Scottish citizens of Chicago. Aside from few large do- nations. the heavy sum required for the carrying out of the great project was subscribed in small amounts and came from the hearts of the thousands of loyal sons of Scotland scattered throughout the city. Never. probably. was there a greater demonstration of the love and pride of Scotchmen for their great poet than has been dis played in this long-continued and final ly triumphant effort to erect worthy monument to him and one that will grace the second city of America.
 The statue is one of the finest in the city. It's conception is noble and the execution will add fame to the al- ready famous name of its creator. The four panels which adorn the sides of a splendid pedestal of Vermont granite are also the work of Steven son and provide a fitting base for the heroic bronze. The statue Is ten and . half feet in height and the pedestal twelve and a half feet. giving the en- tire monument height of 2S feet.
 One of these panels represents the well-known scene from Tam O Shan
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
CLOCK THAT TALKs
ingenious Mechanism 10 the Creation
 of a St. Louls Man.

St. Louis.-This city has clock that talks. Instead of striking the hours, it speaks them. It is one of the most unique electrical novelties that has yet been invented and it is the creation of St. Louis man, who confidently believes that 1t will put the clock with chimes, and the Ger man cuckoo clock out of business. According to It's inventor, MT. Charles c. Bishop, the clock can be put to a large variety of uses. As an alarm clock. MT. Bishop and those interested with him believe that their invention is absolutely certain to make hit Think of being awakened in the morn ing by clock that says to you: Get up, you sleepyhead; it's time to go to work" Then if the sleeper fails to heed the admonition. the clock re- peats the order in voice that re- sembles foghorn. The clock speaks
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
GRANTED SEPARATION.
Maud Come, "lrIsh Joan of Arc," Dl.
 vorced from Maj. MacBride.

Paris.-The decree granting Maud Come MacBride a judicial separation from her husband, Maj. MacBride, was confirmed by the civil tribunal. Mrs. MacBride was awarded custody of her child, but not an absolute di- vorce, on the ground of her Irish na- tionality. She has been known for years as "the Irish Joan of Arc," be- cause of her advocacy of the nation alist cause. She is of English birth, her father having been the late Col
 Come. and the expressions of her people that she witnessed while in Ireland caused her conversion to ex- treme radicalism on the home rule question. Her marriage to Maj. Mac Bride, who was conspicuous in the Boer war. took place in the spring of 1902, but their domestic happiness was short-lived. The divorce suit was begun early in 1905, and during the trial the accusation was made
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
Why We Call It "studlo..

Studio" is one of the many for eign words that have acclimatized themselves in the English language. It is a recent import from Italy. un- known to Johnson's dictionary. and apparently not occurring before the nineteenth century; but 1t has sup. piled a want. Study" which is the real English for studio" suggests a room for reading and writing. and "workroom" lacks distinctiveness. The French get along with 'atelier." " which literally means place in which small blanks are prepared-in other words, . carpenters work shop.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04

ter" where the witch is shown clutch ing the tail of the gray mare, and bears the motto,
 But pleasures arc like peoples spread; You seize the flower, It's bloom is shed.
 Another Illustrates The Cotter's Saturday Night and on the granite below Is carved the line,
 From scenes like these old scotia's grand
 eur springs.
 A third panel is carving of Burns turning up the mouse's nest. with the oft-quoted words to which the incident gave rise,
 The best laid plans O mice and men gang
 aft agley.
 On the remaining side "The Iva Dogs" will be the subject of the carv- ing, accompanied by the motto,
 In fair Virtues heavenly road The cottage leaves the palace far behind
 The statue stands in the center of a large flower bed on the slight rise opposite the refractory building and near the lagoon. The site was chosen by representatives of the Memorial association, the park commission and the municipal art commission and is considered the most picturesque and appropriate that could be found, giv- ing, as 1t does, some suggestion of scene on one of the lochs of Scotland.
 The movement to build the statue was inaugurated October 25, 1888, when a meeting was called for the purpose of forming and incorporating the Burns Memorial and Monument association. To this meeting every Scottish society in Chicago was in- vited to send delegates. All entered into the project with enthusiasm and from that time until 1893 there was great activity among all the organi- cations in a general and cooperative . effort to further the praiseworthy en- ! terprise. Entertainments of all kinds were frequent and the proceeds were in all cases set aside for the monument fund. Meanwhile subscriptions from a dollar upward were constantly re- ceiyed from the members of every so- ciety. And many of these have all along been made at considerable per soral sacrifice. In 1893 came the worl1's fair. uf ' course all things gave way to that great exhibition and the Scottish SO cieties were but instances of the many organizations throughout the entire city whose activities In consequence were held in abeyance and which. as has been the history of every similar | body. remained for a time more or less inactive. requiring a fresh stim- ! ulus to arouse the latent enthusiasm.
 This new impetus to the movement vas given during 1901 and ever since then the leaders sn all of the socie- ties have coopersted actively with the | officers of the memorial association in . steady effort to complete the big un- dertaking which has finally been crowned with success.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04

 her costly when she hired the entire Chinese Honeymoon" provide fun for  Fish distinguished remarkably
   of a and looked it. tooku Jim to the 
  MrsS fig
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
OF CHURCH PIPE ORGAN.

The pipe organ in John D. Roekefeller's Fifth Avenue Baptist church is being complained of by some rich residents who trying to pass the summer in New York in peace and quiet. AL though the church is closed and Mir. Rockefeller is away. the organ is the busiest thing on Murray Hill. If 1t played hymns or even popular airs, neighbors say, it would not be so bad. But the organ keeps blowing out massive discords by the hour. and whoever is playing 1t seems to be try ing to see how many different kinds of noise can be made at once.
 "A crazy calliope," the organ is called Some say it Is "dafy."
 One indignant rich man near the church has written to the health department asking the ofn- cials to squelch the organ Every afternoon. about two o'clock. he says. the organ begins and the racket proceeds hour after hour. The organ for five minutes at time as loud possible. and
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
Plan rhester Cars.

Theater cars on transcontfnental trains are innovations in passenger service promised in the near future. These cars will carry stages. curtains and all acting facilities used on the stage. and performances will be -seryed en route- The idea was i'm pressed upon certain of the oficers of these lines. by the hearty reception given stage folk. who. while crossing the middle west and Rockies. enter. tained their fellow passengers with scenes from the different plays It is thought the plan will meet with ap' probation
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
Luck ln Life.

Some people are always present in . railway smashes, others in fires, others again in boats that upset: while a special providence watches over children. old people. sleep-walk CTS and drunkards. Life Is not the same for all-far be 1t; and Napoleon was right when he said he preferred the lucky general to clever one.- London Graphic.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
NEW COMMANDER OF G. A.
Man Honored by veterans Was . Prl
 vate h the War.

Cincinanti.-Robert B. Brown, of Zanesville, O., who was elected com mander-in-chief of the c. A. R. at the Minneapolis encampment enlisted in
 the Fifteenth Ohio infantry at the age of 16 years and served in the Four teenth army corps in the Army of the Cumberland until he was mustered
 out in 1864. He then reenlisted as a veteran soldier, and served as such until the end of the war. He was . private throughout the first three years of his service. and then became a noncommissioned officer. He has always been active and prominent in
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
BED OF KAlsER's GRANDSON.

rest can only be gained when the bed is firm and stationary.
 Everybody in court circles has taken a peep at the future emperor's resting place. It is a combination of brass and wickerwork, exceedingly elegant in appearance. It stands four feet high, is three feet wide and four feet six inches in length.
 At the head is 6 canopy two feet wide, V-shaped, made of white ma terial and adorned with rich lace.
 It Is said the empress and her daughter-in-law, both of whom are ex. pert needle women, made the canopy covering and their workmanship is greatly admired.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
Cnafter of AeeIaenta.

Pains farm. Copthornc. was burned to the ground yesterday. On receiving the call the Craziey fire brigade start ed ringing the alarm bell which broke and crashed down on the roof When the brigade arrived at the fire 1t vas found that the nearest water eas nearly half . mile away. and when eventually the connection vas made the boz buE.t-1ps1sa EDrsA
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
Modern MedIsvallsun.

A trial has recently been held in Delemont, in Switzerland. suggestive of the middle ages. A father and son have been condemned to life impris- onment for murder and robbery. A dog which the two guilty men had em- ployed was dealt with even more sternly. The judges took evidence as to the dogs share in the crime as carefully as to that of the men, and then ordered that the corrupted beast should be put ot death.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
NeoIectsd Nevada.

A daily paper is responsible for the statement that a single county in Ne vada, covering 16.00o square miles. has nowhere within its borders even mission hall in which the gospel is preached. and yet it has a population of several thousand people.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
MRS. FISH, SOCIETY LEADER.

The social elect have practically an deserted the hot city for the cooling breezes of Newport. There Mrs. Stuyvesant Fish is as usual the lead ing parsonage. Let her career be viewed from any standpoint. she appears the most daring and successful social being of her day and generation.
 Mrs. Fish has given more novel, not to say bizarre social functions" than any other per son in or beyond the pale of the so-called "400."
 She is the original entertainer par excel lence of the Newport summer colony. Whatever she does makes that jaded coterie of multimil- lionare families sit up and display decided inter- est Incidentally, the same effect Is noticeable pretty generally throughout the country.
 Mrs. Fishs Fourth of July contribution to the entertainment of Newport and the gossip of na- ton was to have been a bathing suit dinner. but a downpour of rain caused the plan to be changed
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
Danger of an ExplosIon.

When we see so many young meA with their hair parted in the middle and hanging down their foreheads 50 as to obscure every trace of intellect, and 30 many young women with their hair all frizzly-frowsly and Hopping around their faces in 50 different al. rections. we just want to have say.- Clinton (N. O. Democrat.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
Best Educated Policemen.

Bolton. England. claims to have the best educated police force in the world. The local authorities arrange special lectures for the police force. and every policeman not on duty Is expected to attend. At these lectures they are taught. among other things. the grounds on which convictions may be obtained and the best way to give evidence.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
kAlsER's HEIR HAS COSTLY BED.
Rsstlno Place of Royal German Baby
 Finished With Rich Lace.

Berlin.-The first trundle-bed in the kaiser's domain is that just installed
 at the emperor's palace for the uDe of the baby of the crown princess. The children of the royal household sel. dom sleep in cradles like those de- voted to the use of common children. the Hapsburger idea being that real
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
Wear sia Cianenas br Riah,.

Wesr oss Ss5nc11S oy rt91t
 The three finest diamonds w0rn in Lo1t0a society are these belonging to the duchess of Westminster. the cozntess of Dudley. and the duchess of Portland It Is eaiaently right and fitting that these lucky EOzsea should bs the wives of three Of the richest w,Ale1ea ia the pesrzse-
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
Attitude Toward Dress.

What is the precise attitude that men would have women take up with regard to dress? They are perpetual ly rating the sex for alleged extrava. gance in this direction. they are con tinually grumbling at fashion. and yet 1t is not always the best dressed wo men who attract and command the attention of men, says one of the fair sex.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
Disappearing Wild Flowers.

bIsappearIn0 Wild FIowers.
 What shall we do when there arc no more wild flowers in our land to love and learn from! Ruthless Is the destruction of them that Is going on. If nothing can he done. and soon. to stem the flood of devastation. all of them, except the very rankest weeds. will disappear.-London Garden.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
Far-seeIng Government.

Far-SeeIng Government. Bluejackets from the ships of tho Australian squadrons are permitted to travel free on the New Zealand rail. ways. as the government considers that their talk of the country when they return home will attract immi. grants.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
Not One.

Is there any reason why man who has to climb into an upper berth in a sleeping car should be compelled to pay the same rate as the man who occupies the comfortable lower berthf -Philadelphia Press.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-09-04
How Can . Horss Laugh,

High-toned horses are like high toned people: they are robbed of pleasures poorer folks enjoy. An Arabian snow-white horse Is never al lowed the great privilege of lying down and rolling over. To prevent them from rolling they are kept in narrow stalls.-Atchison Globe.