davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
A FuNNY PREJupIcE

There is a prejudice in the minds OF
many persons against physicians who
do not wear boards, and that prejudice
extends to drug clerks whose youthful
appearance betokens inexperience
Sometimes such prejudice goes to ex-
treme lengths, as a Columbia avenue
pharmacist can vouch. Several days
ago he was preparing a prescription
in his laboratory when an elderly
woman came into the store. The as
sistant, youth of IS years, approached
and politely asked her what she wished
"Ain't you young to be left in charge
of a drug store?" she asked abruptly
'&'erhaps So What can do for YOU.
thought" Don't the proprietor know
it's wicked to leave a boy like you In
charge of such placer" she persisted
"l'll do my best to serve you, ma'am."
he meekly responded. well, it's too
far TO go down the street. so I'll have
to trust you. Give me a two-cent
stamp. Record.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
SLAUGHTER OF THE POLES

There is one Slaughter of the poles
to which every man, woman and child
with any sense of the artistic looks
forward-that by the telephone and tel
egraph companies. No czar can order
it-nor can any Cossacks be charged
with cruelty in enforcing it, but there
can and will be given to those who
bring it about a most generous measure
of applause.
Entirely too many unsghtly poles
rear their ugliness in Los Angeles.
These poles are a tolerated nuisance at
best; in the city of the future they will
be banished and wires will go under
ground, where they belong, just as gas
and water pipes are buried. But while
the companies cannot see the financial
economy in conduits, and cling to
poles, it is at least cause for rejoicing
that they have at last come to their
senses and are talking of pole consoli-
dation.
just why every company using wires
in city must put up separate poles on
which to carry them is one of the mys-
teries the ordinary man wonders over
in vain. There is no economy in it:
the poles line the same streets; they are
never filled with wires; and their very
presence makes them interfere one
with another. Besides. every extra set
of poles adds that much to the cost of
erection But still the companies have
gone ahead duplicating their pole lines
till they stick up all over town like
"quills upon the fretful porcupine, "
making them a hideous spectacle, a
menace to safety and a blot on the
beauty of, the city.
If we must have pole lines-and
doubtless we must for some time to
comedy all means make them as few
as possible. Let the companies COM
bine, as they show a willingness to do.
Let the poles be placed in alleys and
along rear lot lines, wherever possible,
thus taking them off the streets. Let
all the wires be strung on one set of
poles, and provide for extensions of the
conduits as rapidly as the law will
allow Then will have been taken a
long step forward in making Los An
geles the most beautiful city on earth
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
70 Find FISHING BALI

The boy wanted some worms for bait.
He had selected a promising spot, a
shady and low lying dell but, though
he had been digging now for fifteen
minutes, not a single worm had his
spade turned up.
Here, sonny" said an old angler,
take this chunk of soap and make me
a quart or two of soap suds."
The boy brought the suds, the old
man sprinkled them over the ground,
and then he, in his turn, began to
dig. 1t was amazing. Here, where the
boy before had not found a single
worm, the old man now discovered
them in dozens
You can find worms most any
where, sonny" said the old man, '.if
you wet the ground with soapsuds first.
The soapsuds draw them, the same as
molasses draws flies. A weak mixture
of blue vitriol and water will do the
same thing also. Providence Jour
nal.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
FALSE POLICE ECONOMY

A semi-annual statement, Just sub
mitted, shows that the police force of
Los Angeles comprises 22O men. Of
this number only 16S are available for
patrol duty. When it is remembered
that the city covers an area of about
forty-two square miles the utter in
adequacy Of police protection is ap-
parent.
A little figuring, on the basis of the
report, shows that there is about one
patrolman for every 1880 of the citys
population. No wonder that in, some
of the outlying districts the appearance
of policeman is regarded as a rare
local event. The best possible effort is
made toward a semblance of patrollng
the vast territory, but the attempt is
about as futile as an effort to make a
bit of butter, the size of a grain of
corn, spread piece of bread cut clear
across the loaf"
The police force should be augmented,
as suggested by officials of the depart
ment. An increase Of 100 men to the
patrol force would add 100000 a year,
approximately to the expense account
of the city, but the immediate return
would compensate for the cost. The
more effective the police service the
less provocation for robbery and other
crimes, and the higher the city's repu-
tation abroad as an ideal community.
The need of a larger and consequently
more effective police force has been
especially evident since the exodus from
San Francisco of a large element of
that city's criminal classes. In addi-
tion to the inflow from that source,
there is a constant ratio of increase in
arrivals of the same kind from other
cities and towns. And to all these must
be added the increase Of the home
criminal product caused by the rapid
expansion of the city.
1t is false economy to keep the police
force down to proportions totally unfit,
numerically, for the efficient discharge
OF all duties it is expected to perform.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
A BUILDING PARALLEL

San Francisco reports with evident
satisfaction, that between .2OOO and
5000 temporary houses have been erect
ed since the fire. There is only one
large city in the United States, proba-
bly,, wherein that statement will not
be accepted as evidence of surprising
activity. In the city thus excepted the
achievement might be regarded with
surprise but for the fact that 1t nat
urally invites comparison with local
conditions.
II hardly need be stated that the ex-
oeptional city is Los Angeles. While
the showing Of San Francisco is quite
creditable, in view of all the circum-
stanuees, the fact obtrudes that the
northern citys record for temporary
buildings since the date Of the fire cor
responds closely with the Los Angeles
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

record for permanent structures during
the same time.
The record Of building permits Is
sued In Los Angeles for the fiscal year
ending June 30 is s20s. For the six
months Of the present year there has
been such an additional incentive to
building that the permits approximate
5000 for the half OF 1906 Instead Of
temporary structures, as san Fran
cisco reports the Los Angeles build
ings represented by the permits of
this half year carry a value aggre-
eating about S1O,OOO,OOO
The comparative showing Of the
building status in the two cities, as
thus shown, does not belittle the report
from San Francisco 1t does serve
however, as a striking means of meas
using the stupendous progress that
Los Angeles is making in the erection
of a generally high type Of business
and residence structures. The figures
showing the values represented by the
permits issued in this city during the
last year. and especially during the last
six months, fully prove that statement.
San Francisco has been confronted
by obstacles that would have discour-
aged most cities And. as remarked
before, the showing in reconstruction
since the catastrophe is quite credita-
Bile. The Herald is glad to note the
encouraging progress i'm the restoration
of the northern city, and merely uses
the San Francisco building statement
as a standard whereby to measure the
metropolis.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
JOURNALISM IN SIAM

The proprietors of a Siamese news
paper have distributed handbills con-
tanning the following notice:
THE news of English, O, crumbs, we
tell the latest. Writ In perfectly style
and most earliest. Do a murder, gil
commit, we hear of and tell IT, Do a
mighty chief die, o, crumbs, we pub.
lish It, and In borders of somber. Stan
crumbs, like the Kippling and the Dick.
ems We circle every town and extor.
tionate not for advertisements. Buy
II, o. crumbs, but IT, Tell each of yoI
its greatness for good. o, crumbs
Ready on Friday. Number first. -
Bangkok Times.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Mr. Bryans arrival in London yes
terday gave him the opportunity to
speak at some length respecting the
landslide of Democratic opinion in
favor of his nomination to the presi-
dency And his remarks were to the
effect that he is not seeking the nomi-
nation, that he does not desire his re-
ception In New York to have any polit-
ical Significance, and that he hopes the
campaign of 1908 will not be conferred
upon him now, because it might compel
him to 'sit up and look pretty for two
years" when he has something better
to do within that important period. The
statement, while semi-humorous, is
none the less serious in the one fact,
which appears clear enough. that Mr..
Bryan is not posing for the presidential
nomination. So much the better. The
democracy Of the country now wants
him and will insist upon his services.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
A DETAIL HE OVERLOOKED

ut is said that women live in a world
of little things" said the young man
Certain that is, the way they watch
out for the details is constant source
of wonderment to a mere man, espe-
cally when those details enter into an
other woman's makeup.
Il was coming downtown in the sub
way with young lady friend the other
evening when a remarkably pretty gtrl
glided in at the Circle station and sat
down exactly opposite / tried to pay
proper attention to my companion
interesting talk, but to save my life
could not keep my eyes off that glrl
opposite. She was simply exquisite
that is the only word to apply to her
NV companion did not seem to notice
my inattention and talked steadily on
but out of the corner of my eye l saw
that she was studying the girl opposite
with the closest scrutiny, and the way
their respective glances struck fire when
they met each other in the middle of the
aisle filled my masculine soul with glee
"At twenty eighth street the girl arose
with easy grace and left the car, halt
ing moment in the doorway for what
| decided was the purpose of impress
ing upon us the lines of her beautiful
figure.
LAS soon as she had disappeared my
companion became instantly silent and
did not speak for several minutes. Fin
ally she said, in a resentful sort OF
tone: You needn't have bestowed sc
much admiration on that girl-it al
went for naught.'
"'How SOP l queried, innocently.
"'Because she wore an engagement
ring, was the reply.
''Now I'll venture to say that a mere
man would have gazed at that girl foi
week without ever discovering thai
little detail. New York Press.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
SCALP EVIDENCES OF WORRY

81 guess you have been worrying
lately" said hotel barber, affably, as
he applied tonic to his customers
scalp. The occupant of the chair ad-
mitted that he had been doing a con-
siderable amount OF worrying, and in
quired how the razor manipulation
guessed it. II knew it by your scalp"
said the barber triumphantly. when
a mans scalp sticks tightly to his head
1t either means a condition of physical
disturbance or mental distress. Your
face showed no signs of recent illness,
so I concluded it was a worriment of
some kind. When in good healthy con-
dition the scalp should be very loose
and easily moved by the finger tips
PhiladelDhia Record.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
NO HrARSTlsM IN IT

Fear Is expressed in some quarters
lest the independent movement in Los
Angeles-as launched at the chamber
.of commerce meeting Monday night and
as approved in advance by the Demo-
cratic county committee-may be
tainted with Hearstlsm.
There is nothing apparent in the
movement to warrant such an appre-
hension. For to begin with, the eff
fort to divorce county and city govern
ments from state and national politics
did not originate in Los Angeles or with
Willie Hearst or any Of his yellow gang.
1t was spontaneous movement from
all over the country, resulting from
years Of preachment and appeal by the
best and most patriotic citizens. II
has been tested here and there with
signal success, and the experience Of a
few has taught the many the easy
method by which to secure the services
Of efficient and honest men in public
office.
Here in Los Angeles, as elsewhere,
the people have permitted a political
machine to grow UP into the absolute
control of public affairs. This machine,
which happens to be Republican, has
become so arrogant and corrupt that
Il holds despotic sway over county and
city government, nominating whom It
pleases and Of course electing whom It
pleases. The Democratic party, as an
organization, has fought this machine
with all its power, but the fact only APP
peared to heighten allegiance to the Re-
publican ticket. 1t was the result OF
appeals to the party spirit.
Now the Democratic party is propos-
ing n different sort of campaign a cam
paign that will aid the people generally
in an appeal to patriotism and higher
and better civic life. We must have
freer and more efficient local govern
ment. This Is recognized by men of all
political parties, unless their party
loyalty is aroused. In order to secure
the needed reform the Democrats of
Los Angeles propose to stand aside
from their regular party campaign and
indorse an independent movement-if
that movement shall result in the nomi-
nation of honest and efficient candi-
dates.
The chamber of commerce meeting
Monday night was authorized by a
committee of one hundred citizens, and
every name on the list represents de-
votion to the prosperity and well being
of Los Angeles. 1t cannot be charged
that such men as f. NJ. Coulter, j. NJ.
Elliott, Will A. Harris. w. ]. Hunsak-
er. ]. G. Mossin, Niles Pease, Joseph
Scott and r. ]. Waters are in the
slightest manner tainted with Hearst
ism, Socialism or any form of anar-
chy, disorder or confusion. There are
one hundred just such names on the
list. and the fact of their connection
with an Independent movement gives
security that it will not be controlled
by any wild eyed Hearstite or allowed
to fall into the hands of unpatriotic
people.
In short, it would be an undeserved
and baseless compliment to Willie
Hearst to suggest that the independ-
ent movement in Los Angeles is of his
dictation or at his connivance 1t is
popular movement, coming directly
from the people and represented thus far
by citizens who stand for the best in
terests of this city and county.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF

The average number of teeth is thir-
ty-two.
The weight of the circulating blood
is twenty-nine pounds.
The brain of a man is more than
twice that of any other animal.
A man breathes about twenty times
a minute or 1900 times an hour.
The average weight of the brain of a
man is S1a pounds; of woman pounds
II ounces.
over $40 pounds, or one hogshead
and one and a quarter pints of blood
pass through the heart in one hour.
Tie average height of an American
is 5 feet inches; of a Frenchman
feet inches: of a German feet
inches
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

With the return of Superintendent
Mulholland and the enactment of the
right-ofway law through the needed
territory there will be rapid progress
in the Owens river water enterprise.
President Washburn and former Presi-
dent Koephi of the chamber of COM
nerce are inquiring into the bond situa-
tion in New York and will come back
with information sufficient to justify a
speedy bond election.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
MIGRATION OF THE BUTTERFLIES

"The migration of butterflies is now
beginning in Central America" said a
nature student.
"The butterflies on toward the end OF
June cross the Isthmus of Panama. For
a week or more, in untold millions, they
put out to sea. They make a cloud a
dazzling cloud of cleaning blues and
greens, between a clear sky and the
clear water. Birds follow them, eating
them by the hundred.
Sometimes the wind drives them
eastward. Then they may be caught
like dead leaves, in great handfuls.
Every June this migration takes
places. Where the butterflies come
from, and whittier they go, no man
knows"
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

An epidemic Of cholera in the Philip
pines should remind every city on the
Pacific coast that it pays to get clean
and stay clean. Cholera is recognized
as filth disease. and cleanliness is not
only akin to godliness, but is also a
splendid antiseptic.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
The Murder of the Muse

] ne Murder OF the muse
NOT THERE.
Little Jack Horner
Sat in corner
Eating a canned chicken pie;
Yet all of his pickin'
Didn't show enough chicken
To stick in his childish blue eye
Cleveland Plain Dealer
WE'RE THERE.
Little Bo-Peep
She lost her sheep.
But didn't know their perversity;
They came back canned
On breezes famed
From Packingtown University
Brooklyn Eagle.
All. THERE!
Little Miss Muffet.
She used to stuff it
Forgetting, for meat, her good manners;
But by reading the rapers,
She got on to their capers
And she now says, mot me for them
canners!"
indianapolis News.
STAY THERE.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
And opened some meat with care
To give to her dog,
But 1t set him agog,
And he sneaked with his nose in the air.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
so eTHERE
Hey, diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle
The COW was picked too late;
The little dog barked-
To the sausage he harked-
The timed chicken no one could ate!
w. H. c.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Partisan politics in civic affairs is
needless call to party spirit and has
resulted in inefficient government, Los
Angeles is about to make supreme
and united effort to overthrow the Re-
publican machine. and il will succeed
If all good citizens do their duty.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

II DR.. Gen. Leonard Wood will now
devote his energies to killing the
cholera in the Philippines instead of
the natives he can justify even his
presence over there.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
Pl-Lincs and Pick-Ups
Todav


Mother cautions,
Johnnie smiles;
Big firecracker,
Full Of wiles;
Bit Of punk and
Little fuse,
Touch a match-binl
Awful newsl
Get a doctori
ft1ther swoonsl
Sisters act like
Crazy loonsl
Johnnle's fingers
Blown awayi
Hip, hurrah for
Glorious dayl
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

A railroad wreck is of special note
in England because it is a rare event.
over here we have them every day and
don't get excited about them.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Maybe If the Republican machine S
monopoly Of the city government is
broken we will be able to secure owl
cars. That would make it worth while
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Hearst has sent a special emissary
to see Bryan to attempt to get chance
for a tailhold on the Bryan band wagon.
But no vermin are wanted.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

If Willie Hearst did mention Bryans
name in his yellow rags it would be
with a series of dashes preceded by
eds" so why mention it?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

The Long Beach trustee who yester-
day wept in court when he pleaded
guilty to soliciting and accepting a
bribe" should have thought of the sor-
row and shame of it all before he
yielded to temptation. The only happy
man, in or out Of Office, is the thor
oughly honest man.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

OF course the Republican machine
doesn't want Independent city politics
What would it do in such a case?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

The first step toward publication of
municipal politics is the elimination
from it of the Southern Pacific machine.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

This White murder is likely to Thaw
out some of the defendants cold cash
before results are all in.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

If that municipal movement does GO
through there'll be a great slump in
whitewash.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

You needn't get out and whistle for
Towser till about day after tomorrow
Towser's no fool
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

If we had owl cars now we coult
celebrate lots later.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

This is the day when young America
celebrates the national birth by taking
long chances on his own death.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Even the union, bakers can't object
to the. crackers which will be most ir
evidence today.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

First aid to the injured is good
thing to have handy today.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

And will Mrs. Evelyn Nesbit Thaw
go on the stage again when it is all
over?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
Each Sack Checked

A regular little army of postoffice en-
ployes fall upon the piles of bags, and
III frenzied haste, yet maintaining such
perfect order that each sack is checked
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

One more state in the Union; one
more star in the flag.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Every dog has its day - but this
isn't It.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
Population of Los Angeles 23S.4l9

Look for a big blowout today.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

The toy pistol and the tetanus germ
will find that this is their busy day.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

VIII they make Sinclair chief of the
packing house inspectors?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Today the whole city is on the boom.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

If Walter Wellman can make SO sue
cessful lecture tour before he starts
for the pole what won't he do when he
comes back-if he does?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Now is the time when the old man at
home looks over his college graduated
son and wonders what gold bricks are
worth.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Maybe some of the folks who die from
eating meat are only scared to death.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04
A Hint to We Subscribers

Blessed is the man who married
good cook. This is the strawberry
shortcake season. We're o. K, but
lack the berries.-Antwerp (O.) Bee.
When those Norwegians saw Colonel
Bryan presented to King Haakon they
must have reflected regretfully that
they might have elected president in
stead of king.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Everybody loafs but doctor,
He hustles round all day,
Patching up missing fingers,
Crackers have blown awayl
Mothers eyes in mourning
Ear gone from sister Nan;
Everybody weeps at our house
But the medicine man!
Mrs Yerkes-Mizner has been sepa-
rated from her appendix, but her
hyphen remains intact.
Some women are so skinny that their
elbows wear right through their gloves
when they wear short sleeve gowns.
The president eats only hard boiled
eggs for breakfast. Taking no chances
even on hen fruit, eh?
He Got 1t
Mr.. Bryan is waiting, perhaps for
some formal reiteration of President
Roosevelt's declaration that he will not
be a candidate in 1908 under any con-
ditions.-Chicago Tribune.
When "The Jungle" is put on the
stage will it be played by "hams?"
Alton, ILL.,, reports a plague of green
DuSS. Alton is Where st. Louis goes Tor
it's Sunday nips since the lid was put
on. See?
Orange-That $150OOO,OoO Miss Krupp
is not beautiful. I'm told
Lemon-But look at her figure! ~
A Chicago alderman is reported to he
suffering from an application OF X-rays
Very few aldermen anywhere will bear
looking into.
Many of the visitors to- Trondhjer1
took q side trip to Hell, which is only
twenty miles away, but it is not re-
ported that any got one-way tickets.
p Ready is in jail at Beloit, Kas.
There is such a thing as being too
ready, especially with ones fingers.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Poppy-She married beneath her, i
hear.
Magnolla-Yes, he's half o head
smaller.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

It's a strange worldl Here's a man
trying to convince us he's the father
of Dowie when no one wants him to,
and a woman whJ don't have to Is try
ing to prove she's Tom Platt's wife.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Mrs. Yerkes-Mizner has been sepa-
rated from her appendix, but her
hyphen remains intact.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

Some women are so skinny that their
elbows wear right through their gloves
when they wear short sleeve gowns.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

A Chicago alderman is reported to be
suffering from an application OF X-rays.
Very few aldermen anywhere will bear
looking into.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-07-04

The president eats only hard boiled
eggs for breakfast. Taking no chances
even on hen fruit, eh?