davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
QUAKER REFLECTToNs.
TFrom the Philadelphia Press. !

From the Philadelphia Press
Some land is so poor that It won't
even raise the interest on a mortrs9e
In baseball circles 1t often haDners
that left-handed pitcher is all right.
Some people indulge in aowerv Ian
guage. and others in blooming slang
When man cant make a success in
the weather bureau he can become 4.
fortune teller.
Barber-'.You are getting bald. sir
Customef-''Yes 1 do seem to he
heading that way"
After all. the price Of ice doesn't
matter SO much. It's the size of fhe
cake that counts.
Wfgg-'sWhat would you do If vo,,
had money enough to travel abroad -
Wagg-'I'd stay home and en3ov II
Blobbs-"Guzzler says he on1.,
drinks to drown his sorrows sIebbs
What q perpetually SAD life ne
must leadl"
A baseball player. filed with bliss.
Once wooed a girl named Grace
And every time they stopped to kiss
Dan Cupid stole base
Wigwag-"I hear you have besn
buying a building lot at Swamnl,7,rsf
How deep is it?'' dthinv-ssA boz.t
10 feet at high tide
They say a pie without the cheese
Is like a kiss without a en7.aeze-
BUT most OF us are nothing 10th
To test the thing by trying both.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
Good security.

Lieutenant Bevan of the Drake describ-
ed at dinner in New York an English
millionaire.
This man" he said, never earned a
penny in his life. He never lacked pen
ny. Yet he is as careful 0. every shilling
as though 1t was his last.
'.I once dined with him, and. as It was
raining when came to go. I hesitated a
little while before the umbrella rack in
I hate I said. to start out in this
rain
Then laid my hand on an umbrella
I don't like, either, I went on, to
borrow your umbrella.
.sThe millionaire seized upon my hand
some malacca walking stick.
oh, take it, he said heartily. Take
It, my dear fellow. and I'll keep this stick
as security Boston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
One IIast Rennesf.

The steamer was nearing the compile
ton Of a very rough passage, and. most
Of the passengers were silent, sad and
thoughtful. Only one gay and spright-
~ individual looked as though an earth
quake hadn't suddenly swallowed up
his every friend and all his worldly
goods.
Look here he said, dancing nimbly
about, I'm all right. If you chaps just
brace up and be cheerful, you'll feel all
right"
He did hornpipe and a jig. and one
of his fellow passengers raised his head
lonS enough to say:
George, will you do me a great favor
"a very great favor-possibly the last
favor shall ever ask of your
Why, certainly, old man! What can
I get for your
Nothing. I simply beg of you to stop
dancing. It shakes the ship too much.''
Sphere
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
KAMSAS C0AAENT
WHEN no down EN-"

WHEN TO DOWN EN-
J. r. Burton is a professional poll
ticlan. He never would work and de-
manded that the people support him.
Whenever you md a man who is be-.
coming a professional Office seeker,
down him. In nearly every case, the
of1ceholders who disgrace and rob
their constituents have held Office so
long that they think they own the
office they hold, and the money in their
charge Pass the offices around. There
are plenty Of deserving and capable
men, Mark every man as dangerous
who can't exist without an office; who
is a political boss. His business is to
increase taxes, not decrease them
Don't. encourage a boss in your
township, ward, city, county, or state.
The bosses are responsible for most
of the political orruptiOn.=Atchison
Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
I IkNON THou VIII va.

Snail tell thee something. darling
Something that thou know, st full we'll
That love thee, love thee ever
More than human lips can tell2
snail tell thee how I need thee
IN LIES dreary. lonely way
How miss thee in the morning,
Miss thee in the twilight gray2
Shall tell thee how my heart, dear,
Calleth for thee, all in vain
While the only constant answer
Is a sigh, a sob, a pain2
Darling, could I now be near thee,
Leaning on thy loving breast,
" nile thou held'st me closely to thee,
Then my weary heart would rest.
But alas, there lie between US
depths OF mighty, boundless sea;
Ana I can not cross to thee, dear,
and thou mays st not cross to me.
But beyond the veil that parts us,
Far away o er bOUndless sea,
Inou II lovingly watch and walt, dear
Until shall come to thee.
Alice Phillips Aidrich.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Where the shoe pinches" is usually
on the corn.
In view. Of his announced intention of
giving 1t all back before he dies perhaps
Mr.. Carnegie thinks too much fuss is
the Pennsylvania.
Michigan continues to rely upon her
bAlghted peach crop and her forest fires
for the bulk OF her advertising.
Speaker Cannon could save the pub
lie some anxiety il he would tell it how
the house Will vote on the rate bill
Tillman SHES at the rate bill and
passes the credit for its enactment up
to the president The attempt to make
the South Carolinian responsible for it
broke down some where along the line.
The Russian revolutionists are said to
be substituting the automobile for the
dynamite bomb for carrying on their
business.
There is a movement on foot to split
California in two, but probably there
is no desire for the assistance Of an
earthquake.
Henceforth they will be known as the
Hon. Jefferson Davis and the Hon. Rob
ert L. Taylor. There will be no more
Jeff and Bob"
A South Carolinian has presented
Speaker Cannon with a drinking gourd.
But one must live in the Palmetto state
to learn to take his from a gourd. Prob
ably Uncle Joe" will stick to the jug
and strike from the shoulder.
Mr.. Rockefel1er's decision to visit Eu-
rope may or may not have been in
huenced by the release OF Berkman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

a life insurance expert defends the
pouring Of millions of policy holders
money into the legislative lobbyists
pockets by saying that IL the money
hadn't gone here. this and more would
have been sandbagged out OF the COM
panies by hayseed lawmakers. But why
put it on the "hayseeds"? Every Iegfs-
lature in the country has members who
make 1t a business to introduce bills for
the express purpose Of being bought Of
and they are not always from the coun-
Try. If the people Of the various states
81 the union would see to 1t that men
sf intelligence, honesty and patriotism
Hers chosen to the legislatures, the lob
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR.
[From the New York Pres. ]

[From the New York Press
It's queer how boys catch all their
diseases in school term.
The principal business of reformers
is tying tin cans to the tails of politf-
clans.
When a man has yacht and auto
mobiles 1t is a sign lots Of girls think
he is good looking.
It is good policy to be afraid of your
wife so she won't have to bring her
mother for you to be afraid Of.
When a man says he is ambitious
to go into business for himself he has
probably had notice that he Is going to
lose his Job.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

More than 1000 special pension bills
have been passed by. congress at this
session. and the mills are still working
busily Another 1 900 such bills at the
least are anticipated before the time
for adjournment comes. The activity
has attracted unfavorable comment
from President Roosevelt. in the form
of note to the ehairmen Of the SEN
ate and house committees on pensions.
The gentlemen addressed replied that
the president was at liberty to veto
such bills as did not meet his ap-
prevail. That probably ends the whole
matter. The experience Of one presi-
dent who vetoed pension bills is not
yet forgotten.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
Her Bright Eyes.

Miss Anna Held. whose eyes are fam
Gus for their depth and brightness. re-
ceived one afternoon pretty compli-
mant from little boy of s.
The boy, during a matinee, had been
brought into Miss Held's dressing room.
She wore a Persian gown of lemon-col-
ored silk, and three dogs, smaller than
Kittens played on the floor.
The little boy admired the dogs. He
admired the actress robe. He looked
with calm admiration up into her face
Her eyes delighted him, as a glittering
jewel delights a girl
Are your eyes new7' he said grave
IL
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

The New York World calls attention
to the fact that the 100000 people OF
the Empire state had no voice in the
passage of the railroad rate bill. Depew
was in a sanitarium and Plat is inca
pacitated by age and Illness. Does the
World think that either would have
voted In the interest of the general pub
lie If they hao been there? The other
side may have had all 1t needed with
out them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

The Leavenworth Times has begun
TO knock on the semicentennial and
charges that it is the scheme Of real
estate agents to boom Topeka. Who
decided that the exposition should be
located at Topeka. anyway? Was it
the real estate agents? The Times
man should read Up on the history of
the semicentennial movement
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
THE DIFFERENCE.

We have noticed that when the
farmer who owns his farms has a feed
lot full of fat steers and a few thous-
and bushels of SO cent corn in the crib
thirst from the pure water of the town
pump. pulls an old dingy money sack
from his pocket. fun OF silver and IN
cidentally a few oats and shelled corn,
pays cash for his groceries and we1lds
his way homeward happy at heart but
feeling poor in this worlds goods
Now comes the SIS month farm
hand or grocery clerk who inm ediate-
ly bucks some machine or wheel for a
quarters worth of cigars, orders a pop
or lemonade (2) gets them charged,
hangs around the alleys until the lights
wink and then whistles himself home,
prince OF finance and chief among
jays.-Nortonville News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

The Buffalo News explains 1t this
way: President Roosevelt was not mis-
taken in his reply to Judge Parkers
charge in 1904 about political eentribu-
lions, for the point of the judges
charge was that money went to the
Cortelyou committee from corporations
under consideration Of immunity on
that account" The contributors them
selves declared it was for the good Of
the county,.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

workmen IN the mines, the factories,
or the transportation business. It may
be that the time is coming when the
farmer viii be compelled to pay as
good wages as do other employers Of
labor and shorten his hours. The
problem will work itself out somehow
as every similar problem does. Men
are always to be had If the inducement
be suflcient.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

by1sts' occupation would be gone and
the corporations would md It as i'm
possible to buy special privileges for
themselves as unnecessary TO guard
against milking measures. and United
States senators would represent the peo-
pie instead OF these corporations as they
now do. The responsibility for graft
is up to the people after ALL
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
ne WON'T STAND IT.

We absolutely refuse to hear any
body in Harper county talk about dull
and hard times. If there is another
Individual in the county as hard up as
the newspaper man, we don't want to
meet him; he is a discredit to the
county. Kansas never was, SO prosper
Gus as she now is, and Harper county
is credited with her full share. Ac-
cording to the recent report of Bank
Commissioner John O. Royce, Kansas
is at the topmost point of prosperity.
anthony Bulletin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
sHv ON ENTHUsIASM.

There Is a considerabIe lack OF en-
thusiasm over the state ticket among
the Republicans af Franklin township.
Some who have voted the ticket
straight for year declare that Harris
have their votes this fail. Others are
dissatisfied, but thdnlx that It is too
early to decide on course. Many of
them think that the state would be
benefited by a change in governors
Wellsville Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
POLITICs AND FARMING.

AS long as farmers give their ent1re
attention to raising crops. organized
combines and trusts will absorb most
of the values of what farmers produce
Every farmer who reads at all knows
this to be true, yet they are as faith
full as slaves could be trying to raise
more crops to increase millions in the
hands Of the few. Twelve days in the
year devoted to organization, study and
cooperation would bring greater re-
ward to farmers than any other twelve
days In the year.-Spring Hill New
Era.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
ouT or A lob.

The Commercial club seems to have
worked itself out Of a job, as every
thing they have proposed has been
acted upon favorably. Last week they
called the attention to the council to
the fact that there is no place to dump
garbage and other waste, and that such
unsiEhtly stuff was being dumped
along the road all over the township,
and the mayor appointed a committee
to purchase or otherwise procure
suitable dump.=Oberlin Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

If the lawmakers and the govern
gnent officials continue to annoy the
owners OF railroads. the latter may
move their business over into Canada
as President Hill Of the Great West
ern Is about to do.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

Every man arraigned before the
courts insists that all he asks is a fair
trial, but IL frequently happens that
his lawyer does everything possible to
render It unfair. Caleb Powers Is about
to be tried the fourth time for the
murder OF Governor Goebel There ap-
pears to be no good reason why a
trial should not be so fair that one
would be enough.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
NATIVE TALK IN THE TAR-HEEL
STATE

A man waiting for a street car asked
a gentleman standing by: 1T are time
for the street car, amt it. or have airy
one went out in the last few minutes {!
rT-he answer Is said to have been: III
any have went I haven't saw it,
Greensboro Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

Andrew Carnegie says II he were
poor he would work for q. dollar a day
and the Chicago Record Herald re-
CARDS that as a very fair estimate OF
his earning capacity.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

The story that young Thaw lost
$4,000 in poker game would be
more interesting Il the public were in
formed regarding the actual value OF
the hands and who was dealing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
TuE "MERE SOLDIER"

HE as the mere farmer, the mere miner,
the mere engineer or the mere business
or professional man. His duties are
most honorable, his responsibilities most
grave. His vocation calls Tor respect
his personal efforts invite encourage
rnent-Louisville Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

since Hearst has begun to loom up
so large on the political horizon the
conservative Democrats are reaching
the conclusion that Bryan is not so
dangerous a man as they once regard
a I.lr.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

Another member OF the original
HlorOdora ssxtette has married a mill
lionaire. The number Of these girls
appears to be greater even than that Of
the survivors Of Balaklava.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

AS an evidence OF the trend OF poll
tics away from partisanship it might
be remarked that the candidate for
u. 8. senator from Rhode Island on
the Democratic ticket, Is a Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

The proposition OF the Grand Army
70 set apart the last Sunday in May for
Memorial day instead OF the soth may
shut out the circus but it will not AFFECT
the baseball games or the theater.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
M1rsr ~ LIE vICTIMs.

A bill in the German reichstag pro-
vides that automobiles must pay life
annuities to those dependent on persons
FILLED nv their motor cars or to persons
permanently injured by such accidents
Il sounds like an extreme measure But
is it?-New York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

Peace with Japan, says the car, vas
in great part due to President Roose-
Welt. So It was; but in still greater part
If was due to Messrs. Togo and Oyama-
Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

Another cause for congratulation is
to be found in the fact that the Ameri-
can people are SO prosperous that sew
the relief of the earthquake victims
without having the sacrifice felt.-Ona-
ha Bee.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

Secretary Taft has been training
down and has put eff 7e pounds Of
flesh. Perhaps no Is preparing to
enter the presidential race.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

It may be that the worst IS yet to
come. Dowie threatens to start an
other Zion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

Ie the rats bill become a law the
Interstate commerce commission may
nave the opportunity to earn It's salary.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
HUMOR OF THE Day

Red understand it takes more to keen
cost |'-''- = - . many
Green-That's right.
Red-Well, I don't want anything that
taxes more money to keep than it does to
Green-why. you've got a wife. haven't
you 2-Yonkers Statesman.
Say. father, what is a nobody2"
- a NOBODY myTzon. IS prominent wo-
We're you ever at an afternoon tear"
:. No but I was in q place once where
time Milwaukee Wisconsin
ken or her engagement to the fellow who
plays the kettle drum in the orchestra
Lightning Calculator-No wonder He
kept telling her all the time that if there
was anything he loved it was to beat a
tattoo--Judge-
,Loxett-You don't believe in divorce.
Ha:ytesr.,,No. sir; I've got too much
IsovetteWhat has that to do with it?
Hayter-l believe in a fight to the finish.
Philadelphia Ledger.
We'll Plunger has completely lost his
reputation, observed Clubsky.
was the most objectionable thing shout
him. Detroit Free Press.
All your languagei Eet ees 50 diff
whats the matter. Count?"
First. zis novel eet say ye man was
unhorsed."
Zen it say he was cowed. ''-Tit-Bits.
"stayr' said the reforrner to the man
who had just raised his glasses. Don't
you know. my friend that no man can
serve two masters2'
.G'long with you" replied the other.
setting down the empty glass; there's our
friend, the barkeep. here serving schoon-
ers every minute, and If schooners amt
two-masters, I'm Dutchman- Boston
Transcript.
Mrs. Uptown--what is the trouble be-
tween you and Mrs Highmuss?
Mrs. Exclew-There IS no trouble We
don't 90 shopping together any more that
the other morning, when we were at the
furniture store by asking the salesman II
he would be kind enough TO explain to her
the difference between hassock and otto
man--Chtcago Tribune
7 understand you!, played a solo at the
No; merely an accompaniment"
True. But everybody talked. Louis
vile Courier-Journa1.
THAT English friend Of yours Is rather
outspoken He seems to think it always
proper to sall a spade a spade,
on, you're mistaken there He fnvarfa-
bly, calls It spide Philadelphia
Press.
In a few years we will hear M. more Of
grating" said the earnest reforner.
Il sincerely hope So said Senator 4Sor-
ghunl. Tt IS an ugly word of low oriefn.
VIII be glad when a substitute is proFf6f-
ed w shfngton Star.
cher-Tommy. what Is the name OF
Tommp-The Ace.-Cleveland Leader.
You know Bragg, of course. I think he
belongs to your church.
We'll, Bragg doesn't think that"
mop How do you mean?''
He thinks the church belongs to hlzns'
Philadelphia Ledger.
George proposed to me in such beauti~
full language. 1 wish you could have heard
HIM
L did hear him But he hadn't as much
practice then. Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

The army onloer will go to the circus
20 learn wisdom.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
OLD BUT GOOD.

King Alfonso. 1t Is reported, laughed
heartily at the funny sayings OF an
English minstrel troupe. Kingly ap-
probation doesn't change much. Rane-
ses enjoyed those same Jokes-NeW
York Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
EVERYBODY IS TIRED.

It Is said that the senate has Eek
hausted the subject of rate regulation.
It has very nearly exhausted the public
also.-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
LIBEL, ON AMATEUR PHOTOGRA
PIERS.

Mr. Frederic Harrison asserts that
novels tend to become colored pho
tozraphs of commonplace life Some
OF them are not even colored, but re-
sembIe the portfolio of the amateur
Dhotopra pher who has recently
becorne the owner of a camera.
New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
BANG!

President Roosevelt IS expected to
touch of the powder trust next. Are
the seismographs in good order?-New
York Mail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24
Is ORAroRY DECADENT?

Cumberland Is to have natural gas
supply from a field that Is 10 miles
f7fStart mis- seems to be going an IN
necessarily long ways on.-Baltimore
American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

Baby thinks a good deal Of his dad,
but it takes mammals kiss to cure a
hurt finger.-Indianapolis Star
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

Wen. Plunger has completely lost his
reputation" observed Clubsky
IT'S a good thing, " said his friend 1T
was the most objectionable thing shout
him. Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

7 understand you played a solo at the
musical last night?'
No; merely an accompaniment
why, nobody sang"
True. But everybody talked Louis
vile Courier-Journa1
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

then?
spOrtin blood.
Lovett-What has that to do with it?
Hayter-I believe in a fight to the finish
Philadelphia Ledger
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

Mrs. Uptown-What is the trouble be-
tween you and Mrs. Hishmuss?
Mrs. Exclew-There is no trouble We
don't 90 shopping together any more, that
is all. She mortified me beyond measure
the other morning, when we were at the
furniture store. by asking the salesman II
he would be kind enough TO explain to her
the difference between hassock and otto
man.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

Glass Eater-The tattooed lady has bro
Ken on her engagement to the fellow who
plays the kettle drum in the orchestra
kept telling her all the time that if there
was anything he loved it was to beat
tattoO.-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-24

.'stayl'' said the reforner to the man
who had just raised his glasses Don't
you know, my friend, that no man can
serve two masters?'
''G'long with you" replied the other.
setting down the empty glass; there's our
friend, the barkeep, here serving schoon-
ers every minute, and If schooners amt
two-masters, I'm a Dutchman. Boston
Transcript.