Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1906-03-21
sPlEeELscHREck AT PHONE.


~ ~ FISNGs
Peculiar MessaEe Makes "a Bnd Half.
Hour for the Butcher.
Spiegelschreck was rs mild-mannered
butcher as ever suttled beef or cut
sleeps throat, anu when the tele-
phone bell ingled merrily he took down
the receiver with a broad German
smile, In expectation G, good custom
by wire.
This is Mrs. Smallwood," tinkled
far-off feminine voice. "and wish
you would send up nice porterhouse
steak for supper-one about two inches
thick'-pause-'with collar on and
long. white silky hair-about seven
years old. | should say
Spiegelschreck gasped in astonlsh
ment, and the good -natured counten.
ance wore an air of puzzlement.
"Vot did you set?" he inquired. 81
guess ! didn't get id ride. We don't got
vot you wand, | guess, If you wand all
you set"
Back came the voice to Spiegel.
schreck: II said poodle, with long,
White hair, and collar on--about
seven years old"
"lss she gone craZy?' muttered Spie.
gelschreck, rubbing one hand ner-
vously on his butchers aprrl and
clnsping the receiver tighter to his ear.
u guess We don'd got vot you vand."
he answered. We don't got very big
demand vor pootles. Maybe wand biain
sausage"
WHO said anything about wanting
poodles?" came back voice Indignant.
~. Hive you been drinking, Mr.. Spie-
gelschreck? | want n nice porterhouse
steak for per"--pausc-''with long
White hair and my name on the collar"
Spiegelschreck eyed the telephone GU.
riously, wondering If it were playing a
trick upon him.
"Not you wand ISIS Il borderhouse," he
repeated; but vat for do you wand
long. silky hair on id? We could not git
you borderhouse nit hair on Id. You
wand der hairdresser's. You haf der
wrong number, nicht wallr?"
II will pay large reward If you get
1t for me-" came back the voice over
the wire. Il would give fifty dollars
to have 1t back right now. want it
SO bad, poor little lost thingw
"Py chiminy! dot woman ISIS crazy ="
declared Spiegelschreck in alarm. Then
he replied: II couldn't gif you bor-
derhouse nit long hair on i'd und sefen
years olt If you paid hundred dollars.
You bedder delefone to der medical COL
lege. Vot you wand is munnnies."
mfr. Spiegelschreck," came back n
voice quivering with Indignation, you
are certainly intoxicated. shall tell
my husband to send you check for
your bill. and YOU will be bothered no
more with our custom"
Here was fresh trouble. The Small
woods were good customers, but the
courtesy due good custom has its limits
Who ever heard of porterhouse steak
seven years old, with long white hair?
Spiegelschreck had not, and lie was a
pretty good butcher, too.
II peg your pardon" Spiegelschreck
responded, bud blease order again vot
you wand und say it blain. guess
mein hearing is pad alreaty."
"a poodle, l said" came back the
voice, with long white hair and my
name on the collar"
dit you wand i'd for subber?" gasped
Spiegelsclreck.
Central who is that crazy German
on the line?" snapped out sharp voice.
I'm talking with the business office of
the Bugle. and advertising for IL lost
dog. Please tell Mr.. Lagerbier to ring
off,"
You are crazy yourself!" yelled
Spiegelschreck. "You wand border
house steak NIT WOOL OH Id like sheep
Noss ISIS los nit you!''
Central" came another voice, cant
l order n porterhouse steak without
getting whole dog kennel on the line?
Hello, Mr.. Spiegelschreck, hello!"
But Spiegelschreck had fed. Louie"
he said to the boy, der wire ISIS full NIT
crazy vimmens. Dey wand borderhouse
steaks NIT WOOL on 'em. Don'd go near
der telefone. ] am going out to get
some schnapps. u. w. Foley, in
Judge.