davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-07-26
Pointed Paraaranhs.

Chicago News: Ignorance is the step
mother of envy.
1t is better TO patch up quarrel today
than your face tomorrow.
A snob Is Il man with money who would
be a slob If he didn't have it.
A woman Is always greatful to the man
who gives her chance to refuse him.
Many a girl is wearing a solitaire dia-
mond because she bought and paid for IT..
An old bachelor says but few men are
disappointed In love unless they marry.
Usually the hand that rocks the cradle
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-07-26
<.-rHE. ADVENTURE OF THE
GOLDEN PlNCE-NEZ.

HEN l look at
the three mas
sive manuscript
volumes which
contain our work
for the year 1894,
I confess that 1T
is very difficult
for me. out OF
such a wealth of
material, to Sc
lect the cases
which are most
4 II t er esting in
themselves. and
at the same tllilc
most conducive
to Il display of
I h o S e peculiar
powers for which
my friend was
famous. AS l
turn over the
pages, l see my
notes upon the
rap,,lciva story of
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-07-26
Crane end atork.

IFron! the IMJnnapOIis NcWs.
There WAS i';ul Morton, who got to
be president OF biz, life insurance
company, and now Murray crVlc mass
become u bridegi DOM and u grand
father on the same day. Being in the
cabinet for while gives Il mar a
.,rtAt Start l I he NNnrl,l
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-07-26
Accented

From the Philadelphia Press
Miss Werner" said Mr. Dudley. who
is fond of dogs. don't You think you
ought To have an intelligent animal
about the house that would protect you
and
oh, Mr. Dudley" gisgled Miss Yer
ner, this Is so sudtlen,'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-07-26
Evolution of Literature.

Great Magazine I.ditora few years
hence-No use: no use; the magazine
must stop. Where's that box of Rough
on Rats?
His Wife Mercy. Don't commit sui
eide. What has happened? Have the
war articles run out?
Worse. All the writer's in the coun-
try have been gobbled UP by literary
syniieates.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-07-26
Truth and-Arother.

She came towards me rather dubious
ly. as though not sure of her reception
Who are you?" L asked.
Truth" she said.
1 apolcgized ter not having realized it.
Never mind" she said. wearily.
hardly anyone knows me. In always
having 10 explain who l am. and lots
of people don't understand then
y little later l met her. as l thought,
again.
"Well. 1 siaan't make any mistake this
time. said. How are YOU, Miss
TRUTH"
You are misinformed," she replied,
coldly; my name is Libel
But you're exactly like Truth"
exclaimed exactly"
'l1ush.' she said.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-07-26

with kidney dis
ease that for Il
long time ] could
not do my work
and was five weeks
i'm bed. There was
continual bearing
down pain, terrible
backaches, head
aches and ut times
dizzy spells, when
everything was Il
blur before me.
The passages Of
tho kidney co.rn.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-07-26

Enn VIRGINIA FARMS. buildings,
OVV timber, best climate, water, mar
kets, future. Grains, trucking, dairying.
poultry. Great opportunities for farmers
Write for Real Estate Herald. Pyle 81 Co.,
Petersburg. Va
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-07-26

tinns were irregular and painful and
there was considerable sediment and
odor. don't know what would have
done but for Donn's Kidney Pills. l
could see an Improvement from the first
box, and five boxes brought final
cure"
Sold by all dealers. so cents Il box.
Foster Milburn Co. Buffalo, n y.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-07-26
Confident OF Future.

When the leaders of men among this
urban population were speaking most
confidently of the future, they were be-
set with the fear of the migration of the
thousands to other cities. Their first
move to establish the confidence of the
people as we'll as of capital. was to
prove conclusively that the fire can not
happen again. For the fire did most of
the damage, not the earthnuake. The
fire chief who was crushed under u
falling building and did not survive to
lead his men in battle, is reported as
having said that ne never answered an
alarm without the fear that many
blocks instead of building might 60
OF course, the skyscraper is safe, but
e. city is not made of skyscrapers. They
are the expensive exceptions, and com
mand rent which only the we'll to do
can pay After the monster steel
frames, It was found that reinforced
cement stood both fire and shock best
The ban which the board of supervis-
ors put on that at the request of the
trades unions will be removed.
If the weak hearted who are leaving
town say. "One earthquake Is enough
for me-" the strong hearted answer,
Lightning never strikes twice in the
same place"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-07-26
TERRIBLE 10 REcALL.

Painful Nidn~y Yronbgc.
Mrs. Mary Wagner, of 1860 Nossuth
Ave. Bridgeport. Conn. says Il was
SD weakened and generally run down
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-07-26
Pure Mater Skv RIue.

"irr. Winsiow.s SOOTHING srRup FOR children
teethine; softens tho gums reduces iniaunation Al
ssso pain. cures wind collie % cont bottle
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03

dozen women and girls, laughing ami
chatting over their frames. The piece
Of linen is stretched between wooden
frames, and theg poke the needle In
and out No one viii appear surprised
to ses you, but, instead. they will smile
and nod pleasantly. After awhile.
since you have admired the work 81
much, ons win 80 into the interior and
return with . scarf. or table cloth, or
some other piece Of linen. You may
admire this, but not eagerly; look q.
It carelessly and then turn to the
workers again and pretend to be inter-
ested in their Individual work. Soon
each one VIII be showing her best
pieces, and II you see what you really
want you may count on possessing l..
Inquire the price Of each Of the others
nrst, and finally Of the one you wish
last, smiling and shrugging your shout
dsrS It the price and turning from II u
some other. They viii bargain most
eagerly, and before long, BY judicious
handling, they win approach the price
you expect
You 80 your way with your purchase
Ineked under yuar arm. proud that you
~ X Is your own pEios, and ~ awars
"a ~ m ~ bsttsf q yuu aftsr
~ ~ ~ mn raw Laughing = thS
S1llkAS - TIE STUPID seffnGp.s
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Notice..

Notice 10 hereby given, that letters Of admin
istratiop upon the estate Of Frelin Holloway.
deceased, have been granted to the undersien.
ed, by the Bates County Probate Court, in
Bates county, Missouri, bearing date the End
day OF April, 1906.
All persons having claims against said estate
are requested TO exhibit them 10 me for allow
ance within one year from the date Of said let
ters, or they may be precluded from any benefit
OF such estate; and Il said claims be mot exhi-
bited within two years from the date OF the
publication Of this notice, they will be forever
barred ROY HOLLOWAY,
2l-lt Administrators.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03

yours
To DO this you walk behind screen.
bend down to chair. leaving the
coin there, turn round, pick II up, and
sip II Into your pocket. You can then
offer to free yourself from the string.
Go behind the screen. take a pair OF
scissors from your. hip pocket. cut
yourself free, pocket the loose pieces
OF string. and exhibit another piece
with which you had provided your
self beforehand. This piece must. OF
course. be exactly like the piece with
which you were tied. and the decep-
tion Is improved II the second piece
has two or three knots tied In Il.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Nof. Wentworth and John J.

The s>ories told at the expense Of
Prok Wentworth, commonly known as
Bull" Wentworth. and for years con-
nected with the Phillips Exeter acad-
envy, are legion. The following, how
ever, b one of the best:
II was the custom on opening day for
each instructor to take the names Of
the pupils Of his classes.
Now" said Prof. wentworth on one
occasion. Il want every boy to give his
fah name. II your name is William
Henry Smith, say William Henry Smith,
and not w. H. Smith nor William H.
Smith"
The list was nearly completed sat
isfactorily when the name OF John Jay
Brown was given. The professor 8
chance had come, and he roared out:
John J. Brown; John ]. Brown; will
anyone tell me how to spell u"
"Yes, SIR" said the boy. JAY" and
Prof. Wentworth laughed with the rest.
Boston Herald.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
CA - ToHIA.
Bear. .h. AThs Kind You Has Llwas Bought
a'. = &<zzZa ,
Mo. Pac. Excursion Rates.

Special round trip rate TO Kansas
City $2.15 on sale Saturday OF each
week. All trains leaving Butler after
twelve O'Clock noon and all trains
ON Sunday, good to return on any
srsin leaving Kansas City before
noon the following Monday.
Special West Bound Winter Tour
let Excursions to Colorado, Seeson
II 1905-06.-Tlckets sold daily, Oct.
1st, 1905, to May 81, 1906, to Den
yer, Colorado Springs and Pueblo,
Colo. Rate 80 per cent ofdouble one
way standard rate for the round trip;
final return limit May 81, 1905.
J.'F. GEIeER.
Agent,
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03

place To release them take hold Of
BIS string In the center (see sketch).
Fake the loop you thus get behind either
of AS wrists, pass 1t through the piece
that goes round bis wrist and chip It
back over hts hand.
Then. II A draws hfs wrists away,
he will find that he is freA II you
watch the way in which the string
slips out at the wrist you win be able
to reverse the process and link the
two together again.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03

Romulus, the fine Percheron stall
lion, owned by the Vernon county
horse and jack company, died at the
Neal barn on North Cedar street yes
terday from an attack OF pertionitis.
Romulus was one Of the finest horses
ever imported to this country. The
Vernon county company paid %, 900
for him about two years ago and at
this time he was worth about $5, 900.
Nevada Mail.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03

while hs h in that position you tie
his right wrist to his right foot, and
his left wrist TO his left foot You can
theh put a pair OF scissors In front OF
him sad ask him to cut himself free
He 0anHot move either hands or feet;
in fac<. the only movement he can
make b the one that he will make If
he trtss to get hold OF the scissorthe
Will fall over, and In that position be
beip}esA
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Thought It a CHALLENGE

Pinto Pete-What d Sagebush Sam
shoot the sky pilot fer!
Bunchgrass Bill-It 'uz a mistake.
tn parson turned to him sudden like.
an says. solemn: Air you prepared
ter meet yer Godf- An Sasebrush up
an plugged him without stoppin' ter
think. II might be jest some religious
idee he W. springin. Cleveland
Leader.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Just Posi- BILE,

They say" remarked the boarter
who peruses the scientific notes In pat
emit medicine almanacs. that eating
beans Injuries the eyesight."
Possibly" retoined the scanty-hair-
ed bachelor. 81 IN Vsrstand there is a
constantly growing demand for spec
tacles In Boston."-Chicago Daily
News.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Reason Enough

Willie Pillman's parents must have
known he had the measles" said the
school principal. why didn't they
keep him home instead Of sending him
to school to infect I'll the rest Of the
children this way?"
"Willie's father b DOCTOR" replied
Willie's Observation-Disclosures Press
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Tdngh Luck

Merchant Ito appHcant)-FeS I adj
yertised for a boy. Where did you
work last?
Boy-At Blanks store.
Merohant-Why did you leave there?
Boy got fired for being too
prompt
Merchant-That's queer. Promptness
Is an admirable trait.
Boy-Yes, but the boss sad I vas
too prompt about goln' home even
ings.-Chicago Daily News.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
obeyirg Orders,

Scribblss-Pennibs' doctor has Or
dered him to rest for six months and
under no circumstances to use his
brains.
Drfbbles-Poor fellow! How does he
manage to pass the time?
Scribbles-He writes dialect poetry.
Chicago Daily News.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03

only a foot hong. In
such a way that he
cannot get free
even with the use
of a Knife or a pair
of scissors. To
prove your ability
to do this you in
duce your victim
to kneel down, and
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03

small coin. Hold
the coin between
pour teeth. and
suggest that II.
while your hands
are tied behind
your back. you can
put the money into
your trous err 8
pocket Il shall be
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Probably Strong.

30 that Is Deyere the great natural
list poet? suppose he has written
some beautiful things on flowers?"
II don't know about that, but once
read a sonnet he wrote to an onion
that was peach. milwaukee, Senti-
NED,
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
They Never Meet.

80 you've bean calling on MY, Cay
mans daughter TOR over a year It's a
wonder he has never asked You your
Intentions"
We'll, you ses never get 10 hts
house until after stght and always
leave before two In the morning.
Philadelphia Press.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03

The first man,
whom we will call
A. (see accompany
ing sketch) has his
wrists tied to-
gether with a long
piece Of string by
having one an al
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Kind to Her.

He-And is your father kind par
emit?
She-Why, yes; l have 30 think he
Is when l remember what he did to
the last man who asked me Cos my
hand.-Yonkers Statesman.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03

lied round one wrist and one round
the other wrist The SECOND man IA to
have his wrists tied In the same way.
but before the second knot Ia fixed
pass the string behind AS string. so
that the two men are linked together.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
String Trick.

A very old trick. but a very good
one to play on people who do not
know 1t, Is to tie two people together
and ask them to release themselves
without cutting the string, or untying
the knots. They must be tied in this
way:
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Unusual Conduct.

Hostess-Well, Tommy, you can tell
your mother for me that you are the
best behaved boy at table | ever met.
Tommy-Thank you, ma'am, but I'd
rather not.
Hostess Rather not! And why.
pray?
Tommy-She'd think. I was Ill, and
send for the doctor
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03

Oh!
Miss Elder believe people are b.
ginning to call me an old maid.
Miss Younger-Oh. no, dear!
Miss Elder-Thank you, dear-b-
Miss Youhger-They began that
years ago.-Cleveland Leader.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03

People who do
not know the trick
usually try to step
out of the string,
and In 80 doing get
themselves literal
iy into a tight
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Notice of Final Settlement.

Notice 10 hereby given to all creditors. and
eli others interested in the estate OF j. P.
6tlwell, deceased, that l, W. +. Stilweli, sd-
settlement thereof. at the next term Of the
Bates County Probate court, Ia Bates county.
state Of Missouri. to be held Of Butler. MIA,
souYi. on the asth day Of May, 1905.
h. r. STILwELL,
N-<t Admipiatrator
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Notice Of final Settlsment.

Notice 10 hereby given to all creditors and
others interested In the estats Of David N. Keep
lar, deceased, that l, j. l. Bunyar sdminis.
traitor, with will annexed, Of said estate. in.
tend TO make nnAl settlement thereof. Al the
next term Of the Bates County Probate Cont.
In Bates county, State Of Missouri, to be held AZ
Butler, Missouri, On the 18th day Of MAY, 1914.
J. I. DUNYARD.
ab-kt Administrator with will annexed.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Has ssood The Test IS Years
Groves
Tasteless Chill Tonic
No-Cue-No-Pay. 50 cents.
Sheriff Sale.

BY virtue and authority Of q special execu-
ton lssued from the ONCE OF the clerk of the
circuit court Of Bates County, Mo-, returnable
at May term, 1906, OF said court, and 10 me
directed In favor Of j. W. speers and
on and seized all the right. title, interest and
claim of said George G.. Wells Of, in and to the
the following described real estate, to-wit:
The south half Of the southeast quarter OF sec
tion thirty -oue 1911 township forty-one [4ll
said county, and state Of Missouri, will, on
Saturday. the 10th dsy Of May A. D. 1906.
between she hours Of nine o. clock in the fore
noon and I've O'Clock In the afternoon OF that
day, at the east court house door In the cIty
OF Butler, county OF Bates Aforesaid, sell the
same or 80 mpch tnereoi ss may be required ut
In hand to satisfy said execution and costs.
NJ. b. MORRIS,
al.4t Sheriff of Bates County Mo-
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Matter of Ttla

"Have you any captains of industry
In your statef~ asked the Ohio man.
mo, sah." replied the Kentuckian,
nothing but 'oolonels,' sab Chicago
Daily News.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Nothing More.

Tom-what did your mother say
when you told her that was sorry
that. I'd made an idiot Of myself last
mighty
Grace on, she simply faid she had
uoticsd nothing unusual.-Cassell1.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Haudicappod

First Artist-So You can't sell your
picture? What do you call It?
Good Advice"
Second Artist-Ah! No one ever
wants that.-Cassells Journal.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Headed Him on.

"You wouldn't marry a man just be-
canse he was rich-
mo; but I'd reject one Just because
he vas Houston Post
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
RUNNING SORES
COVERED LIMBS
lille Girls Obstinate Case Of
!, Eczema = instantaneous Relief
By Csticura Little Boys Hands
and Arms Also We're a Mass
Of Torturing Sores = Grateful
Mother Says:
"CUTICURA REMEDIES
A HOUSEHOLD STANDBY"

ain eply to your letter write you
ny exvezience, and you are privileged
b use il as you see st. Last year,
sftsr having my little girl treated by
WY prominent physician for an obsti-
nste ea1 Of eczema, ! resorted to the
Cuticura Remedies, and was 90 well
p3sssed with the almost instantaneous
mid afforded that we discarded the
phyxician's prescription and relied en-
tirely on the Cuticura Soap, Cuticura
Ointment, and Cutieura Pills. When
- esuAnncsd with the Cuticura Rem
sdiss her isst and limbs were covered
viEh running sores. In about six weeks
- lad her completely well, and there
- been No recurrence Of the trouble.
sIn July d this year little boy in
eu family poisoned his hands and arms
With poison oak, and in twenty-four
kpv his hands and arms were mass
q twturng sores. We used only the
Cuticura Remedies, washing his hands
and arms with the Cuticura Soap, and
ssois1ed them with the Cuticura ONT
mcnt, and then gave him the Cuticura
R0nlvcnt. In about three weeks his
kandb and arms healed up; 80 we have
lDes d cause for feeling grateful for the
Cutirus Remedies. We find that the
Cuficura Remedies are . valuable
hou7hold standby, living as we do
twsI<e niles from doctor, and where
q 6osts from twenty to twenty-five dol
1aD to come up on the mountain.
Respectfully, Mrs. Lizzie Vincent
Thnmasy Paramount, Walden's Ridge,
Tenn, Oct. 10, 1905"
CtsyGev Exttmsl and Internal Treatment for Every
Huss, fom Pmples to Serofnla from Infancy TO Age,
rmssasE Il Cutcura Soap, 25c, Ointment 50e Resolv
es1 ST. fin form Of Chocolate Coated Pills 25e per vial
ID -. may be had Of all druggists single set often cures
sest distressing eases when all else falls. Potter Drug
. Cra. Corp, Sole Props, Boston, Mass
~ Mailed Free, allow to Cure Torturing, Dishgurng
Ascxls.. and u The Great Skin Book y
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
The General Plant.

Each man doth In his heart rerfte
This simple. egonstic song.
~ find It easy DO be righti
Why are 80 MANS people wroxe
Washington Star
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
|SOME NEAT TRICKS
WHICH MAY FURNISH AMTsE-
MENT FOR AN IDLE HOUR.
Putting a Coin in the Pocket When
naHds Are Tied Behind the
Back-Two String
Tricks.

A Trick with a Small Coin.
Ask some one to tie your hands be-
hind pour back, and to lend you a
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Notice Of Final Settlement.

Notice 10 hereby given to ell creditors and
others interested In the estate of David
Gilbert. deceased, that 1, Riley. Gilbert.
administrator Of said estate, intend to make
final settlement thereof, at the next term OF the
Bates county probate court, In Bates county,
state OF Missouri, to be held at Butler, Mis-.
souri,, on the 18th day Of May, 1895.
RILEY GILBERT,
23-A Administrator.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
savedi

Fl owe my life to that man."
From what did be rescue your +
sAn antonooile salessnan."-JudgA
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
TOO REALISTIC

This Is Herr Bammel and his dog
the morning after he attended the pow
erty BAH
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Wanted DO Know.

"tsxkVo~x 70 xRfFOWs
"And many Christians were stabbed
in the arena"
MAI"
'Well?" asked ma, stopping her
reading.
Does 1t hurt to get stabbed in the
arena Houston pueA
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03

On, gentle spripg. you are the Tina
For forcing leaf and bud;
But oft. alas! Il comes 10 pass
Oh, spring, thy name is mud.
Chicago Daily News.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1906-05-03
Another String Trick.

Announce that You oan tie q man
up with two pieces of string, each