Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-04-22
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

lin this column win be answered all quest.ous
OF proper nature submitted to The Star. In.
aud address their letters to Uncle Jasper" star
Office In case Of difficult conundrnms answers mey
be delayed for week two. Consequently 10
may be advisable for all guestoners 10 watch this
column carefuily.l
EGO-Please give me the name OF some
editor who wants a high-salaried man, r
have worked on every part OF newspaper
A.-So have We We are working on tho
advertising section now. II is more COM
Portable than a cushion and keeps tha
pants from getting shiny.
ROY.-What IS the quickest and surest
method OF determining whether or not an
egg is fresh? A.-Take the egg under sus:
picion between the thumb and first finger
of the right hand and strike IT sharply
against the bridge of the nose. If tho
egg exptodes with loud report IT Is unit
for use. II 1t just busts. your suspicious
are unfounded. Try this method. You
will care for II.
JAMES TAwNEY.--In your column last
week you mentioned that my untiring eff
forts had resulted in saving to the gov
eminent already this year of Si.39. This
is sl.49. Ave take great pleasure in
making the correction. Another ten cents
10 the good. Grand Work.
CITIZEN.-Has Barnes been conhrmed1
A.--The church records should show. We
certainly do doubt 1t, tho.
WILHELM want to give little
Dutch lunch to some friends and can't
find any imported limberger in the city,
What is the nearest approach TO III A
About four feet for us. But then we are
not as sensitive as some.
w. c. T. U.-Uncle Jasper, I should like
to know whether you object to smoking on
a street car PLATFORM A.-oh. not at all.
1t always bothers US some, tho, @nen
other people do it.
FoREIGN-what does Maxim Gorky
think OF the United States? A -!
best we can do. We don't carry enough ex-
clamation points In stock TO complete his
remarks.
VANDERBILT want to get good look
at a real iceberg. What line OF steamers
shall / take? A.-Don't take steamer.
Take a street car and get off at the Capitol,
Senate wing.
SOCK.-When will Congress adJourn7 A
We received your inquiry by mistake. Ad-
dress the Puzzle Editor. He may be able 20
work II out for you.
FERDINAND-If when calling on your
fiancee you hear noise in the next room
n smell like somebody shoeing horse. what
is 1t reasonable to suppose? A.-That your
prospective father-in-law has lighted nor
de cabbagio. Be cautious, Ferdie. There's
many slip 'twixt the ring and the ritual.
CURRENT.-Has much progress been
made on the Panama canal2 A.-Iracious.
yes. Last week was one of great Industry.
Chief Engineer Stevens denied thirteen
cable dispatches from Panama and Chair
man Shonts discredited eleven stories orig
mating in the United States Talk about
energy! That's It'll
JOSEPH q. CANNoN-What do you
think of my chances for the presidency In
Speaker, but possession Is nine points OF
the law And it looks as II friend Theo-
dore had strangle hold
NUB-what is meant by the expression
two bites to cherry? A.-You've got
us If it were watermelons, now. we'd be
the last one OF those we trifled with-two
on the leg and one between the old rail
fence and the apple tree Maps furnishes
on demand
s. P. c. A.-What Is a llama7 A.-You
nearly had us there, but we looked IL up-
A llama is the head of a religious sect. II
is native to South America and is used
as beast of burden. They do not smoke
AT. B.-A friend spoke the other day OF
somebody Undertaking the muck-raker'
What did he mean? A--four friend was
probably referring to the remarks OF
thckset person with large, cleaning teeth
on a recent public occasion
AMATEUR planted n nice garden
some weeks ago and nothing has come up
Yet. What shall ! do? A--Go out IN inc
garden Just before sun-up and make a
noise like mustard plaster. That ought
to help some.
EMPI OYER-There seems to be a great
deal of sickness in this city at present.
Nineteen OF my twenty-eight employees
home Yesterday What is the cause Of 1t?
A.-Germs Nothing but germs Drop
ont Tth and Florida avenue way and watch
'em working. UNCLE JASfbh.