davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
OUR

Our literary department is designed 10
be a boop 70 the great horde OF strug-
gIhg young authors who devote rev
moments OF their spare time once IN
while IN the hope Of Decorating famous
ana amaSSlng q couple million dollars.
" e nave been Hooded with specimen
largely other things. from authors and
authorinas who desire our expert advice.
and have decided 10 give this sort of
advice gratis Send ln your literary
efforts
Dear Mr., Editor;
For some time I have been writing
verses for my own amusement and
consider that ] have no little talent in
this line Your kindly criticism Of The
enorts Of others has encouraged me to
submit the following brief inspiration
which l Knocked of after an evening
with some OF my literary friends We
had been aWfully reckless and devilish,
and we each drank two glasses Of beer.
felt terrible the next morning, and
holding my aching head IN one hand,
seribbled this with the other:
When. with athletic sprightiiness, the
bedstead FeaFs and bows
And fantastic peacock feathers adOrn
the neighbors COWS;
When elephants of pink and blue fit
gaily through tae air,
And the oyster climbs up from the
soup and tries to comb his hair;
When a brilliant, green-eyed monkey
slips In without a knock,
anu ApFtsihE Oh kNr iAsHtEi SAriis De-
gins 70 wind the clock;
When every horse upon the street has
web II, like "a duck.
and the NeW York Evening Journal
seems TO have quit a-throwing
muck.
when a rattlesnake with .whiskers
peeps at you DER the brink
or the glass OF every highball that
YOU Dravcly try 10 drink.
II s time to hike back 70 the woods and
take a quiet think.
NOW please let me know what YOU
think Of my DOetical ability. Yours
PERCiVAL ST. J. VAN RENssE-
I-AER All RPHN,
Your blum won't go any further with
us. Murph- than it would IL told 90
Judge MullOWny I'm Police Court The
next morning. IOu cannot palm or
thai Kind Of stun as an inspiration" "
Waen you know as well as we do that
visions OF that sort come only on the
heels OF experience. IT is not "a ques-
ti0n Of pocticai ability az all. but Just
one of courage 10 write what YOU
see instead Of pulling the quilt over
your head and shouting for help. You
ought TO be good for "A few more nights
with your literary friends before YOU
take your annual short triD ride on The
water cart Whether yOu 10 this will
or course, depend Upon how much Of
YOUR sick leave is coming 20 you. Get
the notion that YOU are a poet out OF
yOur head at once, but DO not mlit
writing. Your descriptive powers are
almost as good as camera. and the
kind YOU see have not been educated 10
pose for photograp phcr.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
SideIights on People
And EpentS of Today
MOROCCO'S SULTAN TO GET
A PEEP AT THE BIG STICK

The French and British fleets are
to make a demonstration" for the
purpose of soaring the Sultan of
Morocco into doing something he
should do. or something they think
he should do. The Atlanta Journal
sizes the situation up this way:
II is simply a practical application
OF Mr.. ROCsevelt's Big Stick idea.
But the most interesting conjecture in
connection with the French and British
is: What win the Kaiser
think about it? VIII he feel impelled
upon TO give the Sultan a concrete
assurance of his friendship VIII he
grasp the opportunity 10 revive the re-
cent trouble which was Cnly quieted,
and not settled, by the Algeciras con
ference? If the Kaiser wants to he
has an excellent opportunity 10 make
himself unpleasant just now, and this
naval demonstration may be but the be
ginning of a most interesting European
situation.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
Chase's-Valerie Bergere in "a Bowery
Camille"

Miss Valerie Bergere. supported by
three Creditable players. presenting a
one-act playlet. "A Bowery Camille" is
offered as d headliner at Chase's this
week. This charming actress. who was
seen here last season in "A version of
Carmen" gives excellent treatment 10
a sketch which tells of a child of the
streets who is rescued from her mlser-
able surroundings by poor artist. and.
just as the two are preparing to enter
a new-found love and happiness, is
awakened by a rich mother appearing 10
claim her son. Miss Bergere's agreement
with the parent 20 sacrifice herself and
her rejection Of her lover affords ample
opportunity for strong scenes. Edward
Dano, Emma Campbell, and Edna Both
neF are the three who make up her ad-
mirable support
sam Watson. with a menagerie of re-
maTkable trained dogs, cats. rOosteUs.
ducks. pigs. and donkey. supplies
enough merriment for an evening. Each
one of the aggregation has a little act
and all show the hand of wonderful care
and training.
In . Hama san and company's Orien-
tai speciality, entitled The Geisha' S
Dream" the color effects OF The scenes
representing the Mikados realm are
beautiful in their changing pictures.
Kelly and Niolette offer several good
comedy and coon songs, while Mile
Bertha and Florence BrockYay, in
some difficult toe and waltz clog
dances, are particularly good Polk.
Rollins, and the Carmen sisters, a quar-
tet OF clever baniOists, gave several old
time banjo melodies that were well re-
eeived. The balance Of the offering pre-
sents Ctm Gordon in German mono
iogue. and the vitagraph presenting a
domestic comedy entitled 'Mother-in-
Law"
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
A NEAP-FABLE.

one time there was a man who was
always talking. and. consequently. al
ways showing his ignorance. While he
he dldn have enough intellect 90 be "a
successful goat Never knowing what
he was talking about. ne merely took up
d lot OF valuable time and sir with
sound.
Moral-Man is like a drum. the more
empty space back Of the head, the
more noise.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
Lyceum-Tom Miners @Bohemians."

One of the best shows that heave ap-
peaTed at Kernan's New Lyceum thea
ter this season, holds forth there this
week. and was accorded an enthusIas-
tic welcome Dy the two large houses
that filed the house at the afternoon
and evening performances. Several
popular faVorites, among whom are
Andy Gardener. as Pasty Bolivar. and
Ida Nicolai, as Roxie. are as good as
ever. They are supported by a viva
cious chorus. Besides the opening
hurles Ne "A Day in Arizona" IN
y hiCh the costumes are attractive,
though slight. and an clio that is better
than usual. there is another mirth-pro-
VOking burlesque TO close entitled,
Fun in q Sauitarium."
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
anced.

viii be one of sympathy, it may turn
to envy before the books are bal
anced.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

The discharged members OF the
Twenty-fifth Infantry are TO be given
employment in Chicago, where little
matters like shooting up the town on
nav night are not noticed.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
So The Old Homestead" Is
Agam Warmly Welcomed

Washington welcomed an old friend
last night when Denman Thompson's
'fOfd Homestead" opened at The Co
lumbia Theater. and Ike the welcome OF
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
OvERDID IT.

"Dis hyar skienee an iBVsnshun am
all we'll enuf in er good utuy ways.
said Nose, but when dey done invented
safety TaZOTs day carried il TOO fur"
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
ECONOMY.

What part of politics is political
economy, pa?'
There is no such thing es economy
in politics, my SON.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

Gen. Noble declares he did not see Col
onel Roosevelt AT San Juan hill There g
nothing IN Mr.. RooseveIts history OF
the fight 10 show that ne saw General
Noble. either. so honOrs are easy.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

Andrew Carnegie is g. says a New
York dispatch. Thought he WIS par or
over
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

Kentucky will soon be a prohibition
state" says a Louisville paper. thus ex-
planning why so many Kentuckians leave
home
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

The Connecticut professor who claims
Shakespeare was an Irishman can at
least prove that he was a Corker.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

II Mrs. Parsons plan is adopted. the
man who marries a vixen. on trial may
get even by passing her to his enemy.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
TABLOID PHILOSOPHY.

IAPLUID PHILOSOPHY.
II is true that laughter is CONTAGIOUS.
but SO IS sorrow.
Spades are stilI trumps at Panama
BE sure and hitch your wagon 20 a
star if you are O. theatrical manager.
When the man at the top goes wrong
very naturally his fall makes a great
splash.
Many : lawyers greatest trials are
that he has none.
Many q minister is profting by the
mistakes of Others when he earns q
marriage fe.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

Peary reports that he Is short OF coal.
but a man does not have 10 go away up
into the Arctic regions to experience
that feeling.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

Persons who are offering Count BOni
work seem TO think he has not been
sufficiently punished
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

The Oelrichs viii contest proves to be
an Oelrichs won't contest
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

Maxim GOrky says New York is a
monster that swallows all that is good.
As New York refused TO swallow Gorky.
his own evidence puts him out Of the
good class.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

Italy now reports car shortage The
next step viii De for Italy's Wall street
10 appeal TO the Secretary of the Treas
ury for money to move the crops.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

The BLACK Hand has made its APP
pearance in London. Natural result of
the British boycott of the Soap trust
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

These contentious that the President
cannot dismiss the colored troops are
not of much service to the troops who
have been dismissed.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

Pat Groves book T. out. SO is Pat.
for wonder.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
EFFORT.

'He tried TO kiss me. but he didnt
succeed.
Too much of an effort for him 10
reconcile himself, I suppose"
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

Croker's assertion that BOurke Cock
ran is the greatest rascal I'm America
may hold true so long as Croker re-
mains in Europe.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

San Francisco's fiddler mayor is ap-
parently drawing the long bow in eX-
planning how it all happened.
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
Academy-''FOur Corners Of the Earth

"The Four Corners of the Earth
which opened last night at the Acad-
The Washington times., 1906-11-27

"Drink, Pretty Creature, Drink"
From "The Pet Lamb by William
The Washington times., 1906-11-27
REFERENCES.

II don't like your references. Mary"
'Ancordin TO what yure last gurl
tow!d me. I'm sure they're better thar
yours Mum.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-08-25
SLAUGHTER BY ROAD AGENTS.
Mysterious Disappearance of Miners in
Early Days of Montana.

The discovery up 10 the fall of 1863 of
no less than 40 bodies of victims of the
road agents had finally aroused the feel
ings OF the law abiding citizens 10 pitcts
of frenzy. They felt that the mysterious
disappearance Of many other mon whom
they had known was to be traced to The
bandits.
Scores OF miners who had set out with
large sums Of money for various places
had never been heard of and had never
reached their destinations. Murders oc-
Cured daily, almost hourly. Had there
been the most perfect system of legal
procedure time would not have permitted
OF the orderly trial of offenders SO fire.
Quent were the crimes. Alder gulch con-
tinued to diSgorgc its treasure in a steady
stream, and the very excess of its bounty
excited the most selfish passions of men.
| The heart of man possessed with the
! THIRST for gold is like the country where
gold is produccd--lt is wild and barrcu
and the flowers withcr.
1t must not be supposed that during
these long months of sickcniug dread
a2d doubt attempts had not been male
To organize justice Rude courts were as
tabhShcd and the guilt or Innocence OF
offenders submitted to regular chosen
lurltS, but the staggering outlaws would
/ boldly force their way through the lin ,s
/ of spectators and into the presence Of
/ the qualified twelve men. Announcing
/ their determination 10 avengc upon every
! one connected with the case, any out
/ come other than acQuittal.
I Witnesses and jurors under these cir
| cumStances were afraid for their lives.
and justice had mfeCauicd until the out
/ laws. seeing the hlanch Of fear every
/ whore were supreme. In the early stages
/ of this reign of terror some of the road
agents had been tried, found guilty aud
condemned to death 10y unanimous vote.
! hut between conviction and punishment
motions TO reconsider had interviewed,
and the vacillatng mob through fear or
relcuting doubt, had revoked the oction
/ Of the previous hour.-McCmre Maya
zine
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-08-25
Kipling'c New Poem

Adopting the view largely held
by the British in South Africa
and by man ut home that tn,
governments promised grant of respon
sible government to Transyaal means re
PROCESSION of the country to the Beers
Rudyard kiphng contributed to Tn,
Standard n poem of six stanzas, depict
ing the colonists being shamcfully AnC
jugglingly sold into bondage, and appeal
ing TO Great Britain TO prevent it. Fol
lowing is a sample of the poem:
Back to the ancient bitterness
We ended once for all.
Back to oppression one may guess
Who have not borne Its thrall;
Back TO the slough Of their despond.
Helots anew held fast,
BY Eugland's seal upon the bond
As helots to the last.
Another stanza reads:
Now. even now, before men learn
How near we broke our trust,
Now. even now, ere WE return
Dominion to the dust;
Now ere the gates Of mercy close
Forever gains the line,
That sells its sons to serve the foes,
VIII England make 40 sign?
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-08-25
Pe-ru-na Restores Strength.
CLERK BOUGHT CANAL BIDS.
Identity of Samuel Byerly Becomes
Known to Shaw.

Tie identity of Samuel Byerley of New
York city. whose bid for $5.S00,OOO of
the new United States Panama canal
bonds was accepted by Secretary Shaw,
has been revealed
He proves to be d clerk in the ac-
counting department of the American
Express company. He has little or no
money. But it cost him only a 2-cent
postage stamp to make the bid, how
ever and he doesn't have to pay for
the bonds for several weeks. Meantime.
he can sill the bonds at 104 and clear a
profit of $3.50. less the Q cent stamp.
Byerley was enabled TO take the little
flyer" in the realm of finance by a little
oversight on the part of Secretary Shaw,
an oversight apparently which every 9th
er shrewd broker in New York over
looked.
In 1896, Abraham White, clerk in a
brokers' office, on his own hook bid for
a biz block of bonds and made a profit
Of 100000. AS Il result of his bid
rule was made by the treasury depart
ment that a cash payment must accom-
pauy all bids. This rule has obtained
until this last bond issue, when it either
was overlooked or suspended by Secre-
tary Shaw.
Ever since the bids for the bonds were
announced last Saturday Wall street has
been trying tc learn something about Mr..
Byerley, and has been specializing as to
the interest behind his bid. Byerley
was not inclined to answer any ques-
tons after he had been located. The
treasurer of the American Express com
pany said:
This is an entirely personal matter
with Mr.. Byerley, who is one of our
clerks. There is absolutely nothing in
the rumor that he represents interests in
the company"
Byerley has almost taken the breath
away from some of his fellow clerks
lie had host of callers who wanted to
know how he could afford to bid for So
100000 of government bonds. but like
real magnate he had nothing to say
He has been employed by the express
company for many years at a small sal
airy.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-08-25
BADGER FOUND GOLD MINE.
Strange Story of an Old Miners Discov-
cry in Nevada.

n. H. George. Santa Fe yardmaster.
has taken n layon of three weeks and
gone to Nevada to develop a gold min
ing claim which he has there There is
quite n story back of his going.
Mr.. George grub staked an old miner
who had struck streak of bad luck
This miner finally found some excellent
surface Indications in the Nevada noun
tains and staked his claim. The pros
poets were so good that Mr.. George, his
Brother and his brOther-n-law took three
adjoining claims The old grizzed miner
worked away all winter on the funds
supplied him by Mr.. George. His de-
velopments were encouraging, but did not
pan out large quantities OF the yellow
metal.
\ short time since another old miner
in hard luck, came past this first miners
claim, carrying his kit of tools with him.
Mr.. Georges friend was naturally lone
some and invited the stranger 10 take
a claim, and after looking over the sit
uation this stranger decided TO do so.
An evening or two later the two miners
sat on ledge of rock talking when "a
badger came into sight. The miners
gave chase, and the badger ran into a
hole or the strangers claim.
They went 10 work with their picks
and soon dug the badger out. and in do
ing SO they made a remarkable discov-
cry. His bed. in the bottom of the hole
was made ON a big chunk Of the very
| richest Of gold ore The gold in the stone
! ON which he lay was worth $4,000. In
this way they discovered a rich vein of
gold bearing quartz which runs through
| both their mines as well rs those belong
ing to Mr. George, his brother and his
| brothcrin-law. Mr.. Georges trip to Ne
vada is for the purpose of fully mvcs-
! tigatiug his new gold mine.-Nclmlng-
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-08-25
SALLOW FACES

often Caused by Coffee Drinking.
How many persons realize that eof-
fee 80 disturbs digestion that it pro-
duees a muddy, yellow complexion?
A ten days trial of Postum Food COT
lee has proven a means. in thousands
OF cases, of clearing up bad complex
ions.
A Washington young lady tells her
experience:
All Of us-father. mother, sister and
h'"tuer-had used tea and coffee for
many years until finally we all had
stomach troubles more or less.
We We're all sallow and troubled
with pimples, breath bad. disagreed ole
ISe n the mouth and all of us simply
SO many bundles of nerves.
We didn't realize that coffee was
1ae cause of the trouble until one day
we ran ont Of coffee and went to borrow
me from neighbor. She gave US
some Postum and told US TO try that
Although We started to make it. we
all felt sure we would be sick Il we
missed our strong coffee. but we were
''Feed to try Postum and were sur
t'.Ned to find it delicious.
-" read the statements on the pkg.
-o' more. and in a month and a half
'' wouldn't have known rs. We were
~. saie 10 digest our food without any
...1a'e. each ones ska became clear,
-aes cleaned of and nerves in fine
.---. tion. We never use anything now
MI ioS,um, There is nothing like it.
.,''-e given by Postum Co, Battle
r.rea' Mich. Read the little book. The
N'9a to Wellyille" There's q rea-
son"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-08-25
LOCAL HAPPENINGS
A Record of Recent Events as
Reported TO This
Paper.
NEWS IN A NUTSHELL.
The IncominEs and Outgoings of Your
Fret as ana NetghberS Chronicles by
the News staff of Reporters and Cor
respondents.

Mrs. l.. c, Tisdale has returned from
a visit in Waupun.
f. f. Hancock and family have re-
moved to Milwaukee.
Miss Helen stickney is visiting at
Portage and Mansion.
Miss Bessie lIorning is spending two
weeks ut Lake Geneva.
Mr. aud Mrs Chas. Kroesing spent
the weel, at Green Lake.
Miss Isabel Skinner is visiting her
brother at Genoa Junction.
Mrs. f. Z. Anderson is the guest of
ri nds at Lake Mills, Wis.
4 Mr. Oscar Pierce has returned from
a trip to Yellowstone Park.
Mr.. Oscar ueIgeson left Friday for
Dousman for few days shooting.
Miss Thain leaves Monday for New
York where She viii study music,
Mrs. V. Y. Price and children spent
last Friday at Milton Jnnotion, Wis.
Ira Lillibridge is spending It couple
of weeks in Detroit and Niagara Falls
Mrs. L. T. Pares and son Douglas re-
turned Saturday from "A visit at Dela-
4 fl Id.
Mrs. Lillibridge entertained thirty
ladies at kensiugton Friday after.
nooI.
Miss Julia Dearsley of Racine, Wis,
spent part of the week with relatives
here.
City Clerk Coulthard returned The
frs of the week from two weeks va
. / cation
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-08-25
The Johnson Trio.

y travelling man thus describes a fami-
~ grave yard that he came upon while
journeyjng through a sparsely settled res
gion of West Virginia:
There were three graves side by side.
The middle one was marked by a marble
slab divided into three sections and in-
scribed in the following fashion:
In the top division was chlselled:
THEODORE JOHNSON. 4 JUST MAN.
The second division bore n hand point
ing To the grave on the left, and was in-
scribed:
FIRST WIFE.
The third division bore n hand pointing
to the right. and was inscribed:
SECOND WIFE
-Harper's Weekly.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-08-25
TERRIBLE SCALY ECZEMA.
Eruptions Appeared on Chest, and
Face and Neck Were All Broken
Out-Cured hv Cuticnra.

Face and Neck Were All Broken
out-Cured by Cuticura.
81 had an eruption appear on my
chest and body ana extend upwards
and downwards, so that my neck and
face were all broken out; also my arms
and the lower limbs as far as the
Knees. l at first thought it was prick
ly heat. But soon scales or crusts
formed where the breaking out was.
INSTEAD of going TO a physician, l pur-
CHASED a complete treatment of the
.Cuticura Remedies, in which l had
great faith, and all was satisfactory.
A year or two later the eruption ap-
.peared again, only a little lower; but
before it had time to spread l pro-
cured another supply of the Cuticura
Remedies, and continued their use I'M
til the cure was complete. 1t is now
five years since the last attack, and
have not seen any signs of return.
/ have more faith in Cuticura Rene
dies for skin diseases than anything
/ know Of Emma f. Wilson, LiScomb,
Iowa, Oct l, 1908"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-08-25
First Aid.

\ ludicrous incident occurred IN a Lon
4 n church last Sunday. \ young lady
cidcntaily let her Handkerchief fall
by repeatedly stopping 10 reach it fur
lively she attracted the attention Of tle
gentleman in the pew behind. VITO
thought she was about to faint viii
the best Of motives be- took her gently
under the arms and raised her mp grea 2
" 10 her surprise A. she tried 10 r..
lease herself another gentleman geut 4.
her assistance. and before the lady kneF
what was the matter they were m1yiu &
her out into the aisle and into the vestt
bule. The finale can be better maein,.
than described.-London Evening Stand
ard.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-08-25


money TO complete their bargain. At any
rate Browns notes to Rockefeller be
came due. the mortgage was forcClosed
and the Immensely valuable ore property
fell into the hands of the Standard Oil
chief for Il mere fraction of its value.
Millions of dollars have been taken out
of the mines since that time.
The loss of the fortune almost within
his grasp proved too much for Merritt.
He was broken-hearted, and within five
weeks was carried to his grave But
Brown was made of sternCr stuff. and
set out braYely to seek fortune anew. He
came to the Canadian 500 and opened 81
mining brokerage business. where ne
prospered moderately. But his big heart
kept him from amassing fortune.
Even to the last Brown was an nd
venturer. Even after he was attacked
by the disease which ultimately caused
his death, he put what few thousands
he had into an expedition to search for
gold in the mineral lands north Of Lake
Superior. But no gold was found. and
Brown returned here broken in health
as well as fortune
In his prospecting days Brown fen in
with man named Philborn, who is now
said to be a steel millionaire philborn
was stricken with TYPHOID, and Brown
nursed him back to life. Philb0rn. in his
gratitude, said ferventy: Brown, if you
ever want anything in years to come,
call on me-"
1t was not until Brown was helpless
i'll the hospital, dependent on charity.
that he finally made an appeal to Phil
born. The latter, it is alleged, replied.
declaring that all his money was tied
UP in investments and that he had none
to spare.
Brown is survived by his aged wife.
who is left without a cent for her de-
clining years.