The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1906-05-10

private editorial graveyard in the
known world, loved to call himself
"FeroCiOuS Bill" and tell of how many
human critters he had chawed up in
his time. Early in our editorial career
he objected to our speaking in friendly
terms of Noah, the man who built and
sailed the ark. and he entered the office
one day to shoot Us. We got ahead of
him by two seconds
No. 2-Thc second was an individ-
ual whose cards bore the name of
Terrible Tom" According to his own
story. he had killed twenty odd men
before we happened TO bump against
him ut Il street corner lie drew to
plug lis, but his gun missed fire, and
he was gathered to ms fathers.
No. 3.-1his man passed under the
name of Savage Sam and he came Il
hundred miles to protest against our
announcement that Nero was Il good
fellow at heart and would have been
all right if his mother-in-law had let
him alone. We both fired ut the same
time, but it was Savage Samuel who
formed the basis of a funeral process
sion next day. No one ever came to in
quire abolr him, and we incline to the
belief that he was an orphan.
No. 4-This gentleman rejoiccd in
the sobriqucl of The Grizzly" and the
manner in which he would chank his
teeth and growl made shivcrs run up
the backs Of all hearers We recon-
mended the vigilance committee to
hang him, and he called and fired four
shots at us before we could get ready
for business. He didn't die for an hour
or two, but he died happy.
No. Bald Eagle" as he called
himself came into Giveadam Gulch one
day to raise 4 scalp. Happening to en-
counter us on the street, he was max
ing ready to raise ours when our gun
went off by accident, and lie fell from
his broncho and died forgiving his en-
emies
No. 6-This person called himself the
Poet of the Rocky mountains" and
after sending us over a hundred poems.
none of which was printed, he called
in person TO see what was the matter
The two of us got into Il controversy
as to whether cabbages or poetry was
Of more consequence to our readers.
and after he had fired two shots we
had TO arrange for his permanent stay
in town. The funeral procession was
a long and decorous one. The poet
seemed to have another poem or two
on his mind as he fell but he had no
time TO write them out.
No. THE true name of this pilgrim
has never been ascertaincd. lie sim
ply wrote us Il postal card from Utah
that he was en- route to remove us to
hotter land than this We took it rs
joke uEts he walked in on us one
morning and began plugging away.
After he had cut two buttons off our
coat and parked our left ear we made
arrangements for his obsequcs. He
had forgotten TO hand up his card, and
he expired too suddenly to go into eX-
plantations. We have him recorded on
our books as Sudden Jim" and
mountain rose blooms on his last rest
ing place.
No. S.-Wc were running weather
predictions and congratulatDg ourself
that we were hitting it once out OF ten
times when Major Harper appeared in
our Sanctum with gun in hand. We
had predicted balmy day, and it had
showed all his cucumbcrs under. He
announced that we deserved death and
began pcggins away. As he was a
cross eyed man we lodged him for five
minutes, but he got our range under
the desk at last, and we had to add
him to our list. We could have mar
ried his widow Il year later, but for
bore. We trust that he awoke in Il
better land.
No. o. - This gentlemans business
card read: Happy Jim. Happy all day
'ong I'LL raised on short notice"