The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-01-17

er the man had departed Mr.. Rowser
would felicitate himself On having say
ed {: human life. II he happened to be
in the store when 4 woman asked Tor
borax he would advance with smile
on his face and say:
Madam, are you sure it is borax
you want"
Yes, SIR
cit isn't carbonate of soda!'
''No, sir"
"Be sure, now. I don't want to see
you make u mistake. Perhaps it is
alum instead of borax you want"
No, sir"
"All right. Go ahead, but if any
thing happens, don't blame me-
When the woman had become fus-
trated and departed without her borax
l would read Mr.. Bowser a lecture on
the benefits Of man minding his own
business, but my words would roll off
like water poured on to a ducks back.
After hanging about the store for three
quite a doctor and was prompt to rec
ommend remedies to aiiing customers.
He even went so far as to call on sick
man and prescribe for him, and, al
though the county medical society took
it up and made it cost him $50, lie was
not in the least discouraged. On as
many as ten different occasions have
bounced him out, but only to have
him return after day or two. Three
months ago he began complaining of
his liver and helping himself to small
doses of my French brandy. Then for
the first time saw my way clear and
bided my time. He came in the other
evening just as the mother of five chill
dren was asking after castor oil. I
shook my head at him, but he couldn't
keep quiet.
madam, is the castor oil for chill
dren?' he presently asked.
''Yes. SIR
''You are sure they need it!''
ooh, yes
1:Wouldn't citrate Of magnesia be
better?"
Il don't think So"
'Well, perhaps you know best, but I
hope no tragedy will follow. If it
wasn't for the professional jealousy Of
the doctors I'd call and see the young
sters and tell you exactly what they
need, but, as it is. you must take your
own risk. This is pretty bad weather
for funersl PROFESSIONS
The wom2n left without making a
purchase, and 1 changed the brandy
jar on Mr. Bowser. She had hardly
gone when he began talking about his
liver and making his way behind the
counter. I heard him smacking his lips
over the brandy, and five minutes later
he called out:
"Say, doc, is that a fresh stock Of
brandy"
NO; same old thing
''It has left queer taste in my
mouth"
"Yhat comes from your liver"
Eyes, I guess it does, but
a couple Of minutes went by, and
then he suddenly sprang from his chair
and shouted out:
Thunder and blazes, but I'm cramp-
ing all upv'
.'Do you want castor oil or sewing
machine oil?"
.sWhew-whoop! Say, by thunder
"Well?'
"Doc, there's something wrong with
that French brandy. I've been poi
soned, and I'll bet a hundred dollars to
a cent have, For heavens sake, stir
your stumps and give me a remedy"
GLOW could you have been poison
ed?" asked.
''Never mind, but give me remedy"
I gave him one took the greatest
satisfaction in preparing and admin
istering it and running him outdoors.
A crowd soon gathered around him as
he hung to lamp post, and while he
was being guyed q couple Of policemen
came along, and one said to the other:
Here's an old jay with jag on.
Ring for the wagon, and in he goes"
And the last I saw of Mr.. Bowser he
was seated in the hurry up wagon and
being driven off through the tWinkling
night I think have evened matters
up with him. though I feel sorry for
Mrs. Bowser if she has been put out
any
BOWSER'S FAMILY DRUGGIST,