The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1906-03-15
NATuRe'S METHOD.
A Kicker Who WAS Only Speaking
Generally About Teeth.

0eUeTahr NbOtt ieetH.
"It's funny about q persons
teeth," remarked the man who had
ordered soup and chicken hash for
his lunch. "At least it isn't so
blamed fanny as it's curious. You
take the teeth and the finger nails,
for instance"
"Well?" said the man opposite.
GA mans finger nails grow, don't
they?"
Certainly. So does his hair
"Well, what's the use? We don't
need our hair or our finger nails
not more than a certain length any
way--but they keep sprouting right
along, just as if we did and just as
long as we live"
"Oh, don't know" said the 9TH
er man, passing his hand over the
top of his head.
"Well, your finger nails do any
way, But You just get your one
crop of teeth, and they've got to do
YOU. There's nothing more coming
to you."
Il always understood there were
two crops"
eyes, the baby teeth. That's so.
But that's only another instance of
the foolishness of the whole arrange
ment. How do we start in? With
out any teeth at ALL Then we begin
cutting 'em. They worry US night
and day and make us drool all over
our bibs, so that sc must have our
white. dresses changed every few
hours, and they AXE us up at night
so that our parent. have to carry us
around and sing to us and give US
soothing sirup that makes morphine
hends of us in after life, and not
only that, they disorder our little
stomachs and send US into conyul-
sions, from which we frequently die.
Why"
"Ask me something easy"
'"rhat keeps up f"- about two
years, and, having gone through
with all that, you'd suppose a kid
might be provided with teeth for
life. But no. The last stomach
tooth is hardly in before the first
front tooth begins working loose.
And then there's toothache. The
first toothache. My land! Then
your mouth gets filled with salt--or
the teeth do-and cloves are wedg-
ed in them and cotton batting soak
ed with creosote that takes the skin
all offtthe inside of your mouth
and camphorated chloroform and all
manner of stuff. You go through
the mental anguish of having
string tied to some cuspid OF incisor
and to the handle of door. You
are taken to the dentist and obliged
to use toothbrush.
''rhen the new teeth come, and
they have to be Strengthened. Then
it is noticed that one has begun to
decay, and it is scooped out and in
laid with precious metals. Others
follow. Then come the drilling
and filling of tie back teeth, ulcera-
ton, desperation, distraction and eI-
traction. One BY one they are crown
ed, bridged, battressed and other
wise repaired until at the age of for
ty, perhaps fifty or sixty-anyway
, with twenty or thirty good years OF
: life before him. "a man is practically
r toothless, after having been trou-
/ bled more or les5 all his days. Now,
2 l claim nature is dead wrong there,
Teeth ought 10 grow like hair, as
q fast as they ara worn off-well, fin
| ger nails then | keep forgetting
you are bald. Teeth are to the ma.
e jority simply nuisance and an ex'
r pense."
A "Why don't you have the snags
= out and an artificial set put in and
q have done with it? Haven't you got
= the nerve:"
: "Snags! Me? Why, man, l coult
hite off the end of a tenpenny mai
and chew it like gum. l never had {
f toothache or lost tooth in my life
Pm speaking generally. ."-Chicag'
=. News.