davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
A String OF.
Good Stories
Ell cannot, tell how, the truth may be;
say the tale gas !'twas told to me-"
ON FATHER

ssCamille. Clifford, who is going to
marry the honorable Henry Bruce, is
: Germantown Girl, - said a New York
manager. 'sIn Philadelphia, tho she
used to be much admired there, no one
ever thought that IN London she would
achieve fame. 4 scr "a
t:Yet in London Camille Clifford,
with her gowns all made in one piece
her gowns that fit like a silk stocking
there are many Enghshmen who will
envy Lord Aberdare's son his bride.
ssMiss Clifford, when I last saw her,
talked Of Lord Aberdare opposition
to the match. She did not think this
opposition would last long. Apropos
Of it, she told me little story-a story
that she is going to work up, into
play, for she has literary aspirations:
q She said there was certain girl
sweetheart. The parents found, in
this girl s pocketbook one night love
letter, and, wild with rage, they sum-
moned her before them.
sltWhat kind of a letter do you call
this9' the old father demanded, glazing
at his daughter over his spectacles
listen to it. "Light Of my life u
Light Of his life! Faugh!'
But, papa-
- MOI a WOTu! Iue O1u ucu Au'oA
rupted., And he goes on, ~ could
not sleep all night long, love, for think
ing of you. -
Liar said the mother. Fool
and liar, to write so.
9 'Then the lunatic says continued
the father-'he says, ''How happy we
would be if only that pig-headed, mar
row minded old fool Of a dad Of yours
would give his consent. J,
& The ;villain!' said the mother.
"l'Wonld I trust my daughter s fu-
ture,' said the father, to any man who
was base enough to speak like that9
But, papa, if you'll Look
tEENot word!'
Xxx If you'll only look, papa, at the
date
"The old man turned the page and
read:
"'Oct. 2, 1872 Then light dawned
on him, and he gasped:
'''Why, mother, bless my heart, it's
one Of my own letters to you.' -,
eyes, said the young girl; !
found it in the cedar chest yesterday
I'd have. told you long ago, but YOU
wouldn It let me speak,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05

the difference, and it makes good deal
Of difference. Now take Washington.
You'll say he licked the British
IS: Well, he did, didn' he?''
StHe certainly did. But that ism It
all there was to it. That wouldn It
Putnam licked the British and SO did
Lafayette and General Herkimer-' y NJ
IA "That reminds me that I want some
cheese, = said the man opposite, sig
mailing to a waiter
~ Lots Of men licked the British, but
they didn't have the genius of Wash
ington, pursued the baldheaded lunch
er. "When you think of that winter
at Valley Forge-the winter Of 1777-
s.. Well, you don't think of it be,
It'll! But when I think Of it, when
think Of Washington staying right with
his men and enduring the privations
Of the common soldier, and when 1
think. of the disorganized condition we
were in-congress with no power to levy
taxes, no executive authority, no moth
ing-a lot of committees fooling around
and making stabs at things and balling
them up, the fact that we did win our
independence seems little short Of mar
you begin to get an: idea of Washing
tons genius. - You know when we
adopted our constitutional a1
The man opposite shook his head and
dropped lump Of sugar into his coffee.
eve didn't get the constitution rati-
fed by all the states until 1890, nine
years after the surrender of CORVALLIS.
Here we were plugging along all that
time, congress passing whatever laws
Fit darned pleased, whether they were
constitutional or not, because there
WASH t any constitution. What the cor.
poration lawyer did then I m hanged il
I can figure out: We were just running
under articles Of federation. The
deals--'' ...
:,"say,'' interrupted the man oppo
site,4 you ought to get the chair of his
tory in some university. Where dit
you get all this, anyway9'' -.
/ HI've studied my country IS history, O.
course said the baldheaded lunche1
every patriotic American cit--'
nRats!'' said the other man, rudely
HI'll bet your kid brought his histor'
lesson to you last night and you got t
reading it. Bet you It tell me VIII
was the next president to Tyler.''
HEr-Andrew Jackson,'' WASH It it?
asked the baldheaded luncher, blushin&
Chicago News.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05

= Roast beef, 10 and 20 cents pound.
Spring chicken, Is cents pound
Sliced bacon, 1926 cents pound.
Bloaters, 5 cents a yound.
Mushrooms, rs cents a yound.
Marrow, 10 cents each.
BRUSSELS sprouts, Is cents box.
Pears, 80 cents peck.
Orange ounces, IS cents dozen.
Damson plums, Is cents box.
,Chestnuts, rs cents pound.
It is seldom that the quick-eyed
housewife cannot find something new
in the. market. Today it is marrow,
which is such a favorite in English
households, altho American palates are
apt to find it tasteless. It is peeled
and boiled until soft and then served In
q cream dressing.
The BRUSSELS sprouts are another new
vegetable. The best sprouts are those
that are hard and firm as when the
leaves are. loose they are apt to drop
away in, cooking. The little vegetable.
should be picked and washed and
cooked from ten to fifteen minutes IN
sailed boiling water. When they are
soft. strain. and drain. Put a large
piece Of butter in a frying pan and
when it is hot add the sprouts with
little pepper. Stir them for three o.
four minutes and then serve with
! chopped parsley scattered over the top
An Accompaniment to roast Of beef
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05


Ono, I wouldn It bet.,'' said the man
opposite. t'But if he did don It see"
"Well, the point is that you didn It
know it. Do you know when they fired
on Fort Sumter? No, you don't. It
was on April 10, 1861. Do you know
where Fort Sumter was? Of course
not. Somewhere in the. United States
that's near enough. for you and it 8
near enough for theE average man. IF
I told you it was in South Carolina you
wouldn't know whether: I was lying to
you or not.'' ~ g., 49,. a..
"What's the difference?' asked the
man opposite. 1T know that we fought
the rebels and know we licked 'em.
"The difference is that you don 7
have a clear view of-,:things, - said the
baldheaded luncher. s" The difference is
that if you don't. know what youl
country's done and when it did it anu
why it-~did it you. haven't got any
good reason for being patriotic. That s
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
WHAT WOMEN ARE DOING

Miss Susie ). Brayton is "a veterin-
airy surgeon and extremely skilful at
performing operations on horses, dogs
and all other animals. 5 .@ss5&
At Savin Hill Beach, Mass, there is
a life saving crew composed Of Miss
Agnes Kersey (captain), Miss Georgi-
ana Milne, Miss Margaret Will and
Miss Eunice Slane. They are splendid
swimmers and save the lives Of bathers
who get into difficulties without distin-
ton Of sex. %& '
Miss Virginia Pope keeps bird hos
pital in New York. Parrots are her
most lucrative PATIENTS ~
The most Elusive artificial flowers
are made by Miss Susie Meyer of New
York, out Of breadcrumbs. They
| have the appearance of real flowers and
are quite different from the ordinary
manufactured kind. :. IT, ~ ~
| The Hamburg American steamship
! line has started a special staff Of nurses
| to take care Of seasiek women. Miss
Selma Henkenseifken Of New York is
the. first to take up this work. She
has gone to sea on the Amerika. Her
help will enable woman to regain he1
health by means of an ocean voyage.
Mrs. NJ. E. Holland, formerly Of Chi
Tcago, mas been appointed thumb prln1
/ expert Of the secret service at Wash
irgton. She began the study Of thumb
! prints fifteen years ago at Scotland
! Yard, London, and has devoted almost
/ her whole life to it. Once she has oh
tanned print Of mans thumb sh,
can identify him by it, even if she hat
to pick him out Of all the people in thu
j United States.
i Gl1ides have lnnu hnan 1ifficTlt tO oh
tain in the Maine woods and the Adj
rondacks, and several girls have nov
taken to this lucrative and exhilarat
ing calling. Miss Cornelia T. Crosb.
Of Phillips, Me-, is Maine guide, VIII
is famous for her skill as q fly fisher
rife shot and canoeist. Mrs. Jenni
Freese and Miss Ethel Harlow are ais
3 skilled guides. These women wea
q thigh boots, short leather skirts, an,
si othing that will stand the hardes
!. wear. Bears have 10 terror for then
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
BEAUTIFUL SHOULDERS

There are four kinds Of shoulders,
any one kind Of which can be called
very fashionable.
There is the old-fashioned or sloping
shoulder. This is the shoulder that is
seen in the miniature and shoulder that
is found in the old paintings. It is
very round in it's curves and it slopes
gradually all the way from the nape of
the neck to the tips Of the fingers.
Looked at in profile, there is. lovely
long curve which is very delightful to
The next shoulder, in the point of
shoulder of the matron. This is the
full and rather voluptuous shoulder. It
is very white in color and it's texture Is
what might be called bold. It is in
clined to be coarse, tho it's smoothness
and color make it very handsome to
gaze upon. This shoulder is what is
known as the society shoulder. It is
kept plump by massage and cold cream,
and it is nodded in shape with the fin
ger tips.
The third shoulder is the youthful
shoulder. There is nothing that COM
pares to it, but, unfortunately, it is
or never finds it past the age of 20. It
is slight and there is not much flesh to
spare. But it is perfectly shaped
and it's color is pure white. Later in
life the color deepens, but the youthful
shoulder is exquisitely white and CLOS
sy. There is something in it's tex.
ture that is almost lustrous. The pc
culiar bloom can be initiated later in
| life, but it takes an expert to initiate
It well. si.as -, IS s., ;ssff{sSsss1 +
! The fourth shoulder is the esthetie
shoulder. tt is very thin and the
bones show. It is the artistic shoulder
and artists rave. about it.. You SCI
this shoulder among the artists
models. and you .can observe In The
types" butyou do not very often SET
it in real life. IN real life The gir
q with thin shoulders is nsual lytoo thi1
! for beauty. She is "a bunch Of bone
land nothing else.
d Just one woman in twenty has
pair Of shout ders the right shape. Thes
statistics are. gathered from "a certai1
beauty specialist. The other ninetee1
have shoulders that are either too hig]
or too low. Many have round should
ers. Others have stoop shoulders. On
out Of three will have shoulders tina
extend too far forward.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
THE LIGHTNING SIGHTSEER

Mayor Mcclellan of New York
talked at a dinner party about, the
way that some Americans rush thru
their sightseeing during their summer
abroad. -.
%sSI have been told,' he said, 'that
an American once drove in a hanson
up to the British museum, ,leaped out,
kicked aside, the pigeons that were
feeding in the court, and said to the
uniformed official at the door:
Xxx Have you still got the Eagin
marbles9':
"sYes, sir. Of course, SIR
''r' Good. And the Assyrian winged
bulls2'
'They re still here sir
s'' What about those Goodyear old
human remains on the second floor
they're not sold yet, are they9'
~ No, indeed, sir. Won't you step
in and SEQ them?' =
Z . No, thanks. I'll just take them
Westminster, St. Paul's, the houses OF
parliament and the South Kensingtor
to do this morning and I must get g
train for Oxford in time to run over
the college before starting for STRAIT
ford for the night. So long, sir.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
FAIR-WEATHER FRIENDS

The late Thomas Coldwell, the in
ventor Of the lawnmower, was noted in
wburgh for his charity.
A citizen Of Newburgh once stolc
some money. He<was bitterly attacked
in consequence. But Mr.. Coldwell
stood by him, and to certain man who
was maligning him he said one day:
"You, I see, are a fair-weather
friend, George. Well, you are not sin
gular there. Most friends are like
you.
"There was man who said to a
convict:
Always do right and your friends
will stand by you.
"fYes,' the convict answered bit.
terly, fbut the time man needs friends
to stand !, by him is when he does
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
FARM TALK

The late Charles Bliss, the famous
star of the Dan Rice circus-he was
the original human fy''-imputed,
his success to thoroness.
"Don't attempt new trick,' he
said one day in Madison, s'till you are
a thoro master of it. The only way
to succeed is to be so thoro in every
thing you undertake that failure is
altogether an impossibility.
eff you are going. for instance, to
be stump speaker, if you are going
to address a lot Of farmers, dom It talk
farm talk unless you have studied it up:
"Don't be like stump speaker l
know who yelled at crossroads meet
ing: %,'
7t'He who puts his hand to the
pillow must not turn back =
'Wot IS he to do then when he gets
to the end o. the furrer9' shouted a
hired man in blue overalls.' - . :
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
Chapped Hands
BY ELEANOR NORRIS.

- With the chilly winds and frosty air
come the chapped and red hands which
every woman dislikes, but she will
have them unless the proper precaution
is taken. Careful washing in tepid wa
ter is far better than cold, soap free
from alkali, thoro rinsing and, above
ALL. perfect drying. If you have oc-
casion to wash the hands many times
during the day.. have in a convenient
spot a bottle containing this lotion:
Honey, one-half ounce; lemon juice,
one ounce; rosewater, one ounce; rub
it well into the hands. It will prevent
that grimy look which is sure to fol-
low this constant being in water.
If you are willing to go to the
feeling of gloves, for the sake Of the
improvement it will make in your
hands, the following you will find
most excellent for softcning and whiten-
ing, and I think we'll worth the dis
comfort: Myrrh, ono ounce; honey,
four ounces; yellow wax, two ounces;
rosewater, six ounces; melt the wax in
a double boiler over a slow fire, add
the mYrrh, which should be powdered,
whilst the wax is hot; beat thoroly,
then stir in the rosewater and honey,
then add glycerine, little by little, to
make soft paste. Spread this mix
ture on the: hands, then draw on a pair
of loose white cotton gloves, with the
tips Of the fingers cut off, and a small
air space made in the palms. There
is no special virtue in the gloves. they
are only to prevent the applications
from transferring themselves to the
bed linens. S'
Mutton tallow is a very old-fashionec
remedy and there lis nothing better
and when tits tried out if few drop.
of benzoin be thoroIy mixed with it
it's healing properties will be greatly
increased.
A noted specialist says: "Too mucl
care can be given to the hands, thu
rendering them sensitive and it i
quite reasonable, since to make tn,
skin very fine and delicate must O
necessity render it liable to Irritation
/ from the atmosphere, or other causes
If from any special cause the hands ar
red, the foregoing preparations vii
have no effect whatever, quite fire
euently too tight clothing is q caus
4 for red hands,, particularly when it j
worn too tight at the waistlne; ais
sleeves and gloves: the circulation 0
the blood is interfered with, therefor
preventing it's return to the extremi
ties. [f the circulation is retarded b.
other causes, then the physician mus
4 be consulted; in these cases redness 0
!. pallor will be the result, also cold hand
and feet.
i All hands are not and cannot b
q beautiful as to shape and size, as n
method has been discovered by whic
lthey can be nodded into the desire
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
A HABIT CURED

A mother whose little daughter had
the habit Of biting her nails had tried
numerous unsuccessful devices for cur
ing her before she hit upon one which
proved enlinently effective. This was
nothing less than the gift Of mani
cure set, with permission to use it all
she wanted to. AS the child learned
to polish l.: and trim her nails her joy in
put to rout the ugly habit which no
amount Of SOAKING or scolding had been
able to break up.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
WHERE FEMININE FANCY LIGHTS

and from Is to 30, twenty 1.-TWO minutes.
five minutes; from that age to 80 they
are at least half an hour at their toilet.
Thence there is a decline in @coquetry.
From 80; to IS, the time occupied
comes down to tWenty-four minutes;
from IS, to 40, it is: only eighteen min
utes, and from 40ssto SO, twelve min
utes, and from So 60, only six min
utes. A. woman ofs70 has; thus spent
1862 hours: before:#the glass; il %other
words, eight months, counting day and
night. \ szs; ts, s: E &. :t11ss%st5z
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
HAROLD THE SLOW

Sam Small, the reconverted evangel-
list, said in Atlanta the other day:
II believe in religion Of the. old
fashioned kind. New-fangled creeds
and bizarre faiths repel me- There is
safety in the old rut after all
sFThus [ know cemetery where all
the inscriptions, being conventional,
remain intact. But. one, a bizarre in
scription, has been tempered with and
made ridiculous
"The tomb has on it, at the top:
Helen Vance, Wife Of Harold Vance
1854. I await you Then, beneath
is carved, Harold Vance, 1889. Here
am t. '~'&f 'f.'
eat the base Of the Inscription
some one has written: !&*'. F.
g He took his time.'''
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
He Aired His Knowledge

1.-THE trouble with us as nation is
that we are not patriotic enough, -
said the baldheaded luncher, putting
his folded newspaper between the sauce
bottle and the match safe.
! Not patriotic!0 exclaimed the man
opposite. I'd like to know what we
are if we amt patriotic
sseOh, we'll hurrah for the stars and
stripes when the young woman in the
cowboy hat and leggin s comes up in
front and waves It at u.s. said the
baldheaded luncher." g Wen cheer
Abraham Lincoln and George Wash
ington when the candidate brings 'en
into his speech. But that g all just a
matter Of habit, You don It. know any
more about George Washington than a
spring pullet does about municipal
ownership and you don't know much
more about Lincoln than that he told
funny y,: stories, and was a fgodsend to the
"EHe said, you can fool all Of ~
IT know it. But do you know that
| nearly year after the war began hi
sent message to congress recommend
ing cooperation with any state thai
might adopt gradual adjustment 81
slavery9 Well, he did, and if you {
like to bet he didn't Ill accommodate
Won - f.~s. f..., 81 ,..---.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
HE IS FROM NEW YORK

If he just says '"rhe street''-no superauous
''Wall'; ,"
Thinks the tough's only found on the Bowery:
That the countrys much smaller than Tammanv
Hall;
If on Riverside drive he grows dowery;
If he thinks it excels any place upon earth
Well, he isn't responsible quite.
You will play a kind part in concealng YOU
mirth; -
You tell where he comes from, all right.
If he talks great deal about "Sherry's' ant
''Dels',
And expands upon "Coney's" hilarity;
If he speaks Of the subway and visibly swells
You must try to regard him with charity.
If he thinks that because somewhere else 70,
A. reside ...ss-..
You can't surely be overly bright
And he really believes he has cause for hi
pride
You can tell where he comes from, all right
Chicago News.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
GETTING GOWN BY DIPLOMACY.

DR.. j. J.. .Kinyoun, America 3 fore
most mosquito expert, was talking in
washington about the mosquitoes COM
ing determination.
hasten its its coming, the public must be be
drawn into the fight. It is on the pub
lic. that we must depend for the mos.
quito's- determination, and, to interest
the public, all sorts Of methods, the
finest diplomacy, must be used.
Diplomacy, you know, is a remark.
able agent. The other day lady said
to her husband:
4, g James, I have decided to do with
out a. new fall street dress, and with
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
THE WASHINGTON WAITER

Of a political transaction that had
suspicious look, Senator Beverage
said one day:
"Tho in the thing there is nothing
on which we can lay our hand, it GER
tainly appears fshy. It reminds me
Of a Washington waiter. &>r''. g'
ga gentleman, after eating a good
dinner, said to this waiter:
tin but am n nSrt have eao oniv lust % &%@
Enough enc; oh to pay pay your bill. NS' =
"FThe waiter seized the bill hurriedly:
"'Just let me ada it up again, sir,
he muttered''
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
,nductor to

shape, but they can be soft and white,
the nails well shaped, the cuticule
around the nails neatly trimmed, Ieav-
ing no rough edges which are the temp
tation to nervous persons to bite. Do
not think this care trouble, as we'll
kept hands are wholesome and clean.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
Waist for Skirt.

Dear Miss. Lee: I like your depart
ment very much. =. You have helped SO 81
many, / would be so much Obliged II
long coat and pleated skirt, like sample
enclosed. Please tell me what kind OF
waist would be. suitable to wear with
its Would you advise an all gray nat,
81 trimmings Of another colorF l
never thong ht the suit very becoming
in4either color or style: Will you also
tell me what colors 7 can wear9 |
an 48,a5 feet inches tall, bust 81,
q waist IS, hips. 81, weigh 1872 pounds;
have medium brown hair, quite gray on
the temples and streaked on top;
brown eyes, rather sallow, no color IN
cheeks. Mrs. u. w. Y.
Minneapolis.
The most appropriate material for a
waist for winter wear would be q vel
veteen or corduroy, either ivory white
OF rich deep gray. sltho + that green
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
BEFORE THE LOOKING GLASS

How much time does woman spend
before the looking glass7 A German
estimates that "a girl of to 10 years
spends an average Of seven minutes a.
day before q mirror; from 10 to -, al
quarter Of an hour Is consumed daily
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
A BRIGHT BOYS COMPOSITION

"When Mark Twain was a boy at
school in Hannibal,'' said a veteran
Missourian, "the schoolmaster once set
the class to writing composition on
'The Result of Laziness. s: 4 +.
"Young Clemens, at the end of half
an hour, handed in as his composition
a. blank slate''
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
FROM ELIZABETH LEE

Inauirers are asked to sign their letters
with their full name and address In order
that the replies may be sent to them per
sonally when the crowded condition o. the
department makes 1t necessary. Names
will not be published if the writer prefers
fictitious signature. -.... ~. j
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05

An even temperature, fresh air (from
The top Of The window, and plenty Of
warm. light bedclothes are essential to.
the patient 8 welfare and comfort
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
A HEINZ!

The seamstress leads a life Of simple duty
And from her honest toll comes honest cheer;
While others thread the paths Of wealth and
9 beauty, = = Z. : =
Life seams just sew-sew in her hemmysphere.
Nixon aterman in Woman's Home Compan-
ion for September. T"'
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-05
the money I shall have mother here fol-

a nice long VISIT
FLAMES turned on her excitedly.
"'Wear that old brown cloth thing
another season. I guess not, he ex-
claimed. you go down to your tai
lor's today and order something hand
some. Remember, please, that as my
wife you have certain position to
maintain
'sThe wife bowed her head in sub
mission. On her lips played peculiar
smile.'