The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-02-25

Copyright. 1906. by Charles Drydenl
~ INCE so mucn language has
been compiled during the
last winter exploiting the
I dOings at Dope Springs, it
is no more than justice TO
tie inmates that l shall tell where,
when, and why is Dope Springs
Large numbers of tourists and a few
Hikes may be just aching to stop of
here without knowing where the
place is. Therefore, hasten to hoist
the veil of secrecy at once, lest an in
furiated Kike should bounce piece
{ homemade cheese OF my head and
put me out of the literary business.
To begin with, the home of Mr..
Tony Fligg and the scene of his
many heroic deeds Is Ocean Springs,
Jackson county, Miss. where the
fishing is fine. 1t Is a spot of rare
and enhancing beauty. The town
clings to the main line of the l..
and Mate and Negligent-On one
side and the Gulf or Mexico on the
other. You cannot miss it. for the
name # the town is painted on Me-.
Weeds depot, which loiters near the
track about midway between Mobile
and New Orleans. We support one
Jail, three banks, two meat shops.
some stores. an ice factory. one fast
mail train, water works, and an
electric light service.
Once upon a time our fair city
blushed at the answer TO this cruel
and heinous joke: What is the diff
ference between Russia and Ocean
Springs? Here is the reply: In Rus
STA they shoot the Israelite: here in
Ocean Springs the arc light is
slaughtered 10 make a Christmas
holiday. Now we haven't any more
arc lights. One glad Yuletide season
put them out of commission. The
large spluttering arcs at prominent
corners offered too great a mark.
Last Christmas the eggnog boys
shot out half the system. so the wise
city fathers removed the are lights
and left the compact incandescent
glowing like firefies among the live
oaks. Those targets are so wretch
edly small our crack marksmen lost
heart and saved their ammunition.
Christmas is not what il used 70
be since the arc lights departed.
Our only Fourth Of July is cele-
brated on December %. and we dis
play our independence by shooting
at the solar system and large electric
lights, if any While this practice,
merely of a target nature. sometimes
harbors homicidal tendencies, I am
glad to state that no human being
stops bullets at Christmas except by
accident Now and then a careless
citizen or stranger in our midst
lettering along the route of a merry
Yuletide rOysterer requires d little
probing unless the urgent A plOws
entirely through his person. In that
event we permit beneficent nature to
take her course and hope for the
best Should nature prove contrary
and the worst intervene, the friends
of the victim walk slow behind MIN.
and the incident sort of melts into
history
Ocean Springs is a place of ancient
and honorable origin. In fact, had
Mr.. c Columbus been feeling right,
he would have discovered US first
in 1892, instead of passing on to St
Augustine, Fla But he saw fit to
give this splendid little town the cold
shake, and our loyal citizens have
never forgiven him There is not a
large bronze statue of Chris any
where in the city. nor is there likely
TO be one. We Still feel bitter to-
ward the bold adventurer who de-
clined TO discover us. He was en-
tirely too chesty when pottering
around these parts. The following
historical narrative. which has never
seen the light of print, is taken bodi-
~ from the archives in the Town
Hall and from muJUered conversa-
lions among the inhabitants. | pro-
duce the historical narrative verba-
tim. in order to expose the naughty
demeanor of the immortal Chris anC
give Ocean Springs the belated honor
which is her due.
Early on the morning of 1892,