davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New York Press.
Frequently man is your friend unless
he tells YOU he is.
There is nothing that discourages a
widow so much as staying one.
One of the meanest swindles is to marry
for money and not get it.
Women would earn lots of money II
they were working for anybody but their
husbands.
If women went on north pole expedi-
tons probably they wouldn't admit that
their feet were cold
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

The Cotton Journal of December 20 is
one of the best yet issued. This number
pays fattering attention to Birmingham
and has many illustrations of local in
terest.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

The pastor of Presbyterian church
buked the wife of deacon fer wearing
boomers In her garden. There will
not be. however. heresy trial.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

The negro soldier had better behave
If he wants any consideration from the
people of this country or the United
States government. Lawlessness at Ell
Reno will not help his case.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30
HE country is overrun by fellows
anxious to sound a note of
warning" At every opportunity

n
wv anxious to sound a note of
warning" At every opportunity
they emit a doeful blast, which is pre-
sumably pitched in the hope that 1t may
shake the battlements of corruption and
strike terror to the hearts of all those
who prey upon their neighbors Some
times these notes of warning are loud
and long, and at other times they are
nothing more than distressing little toots,
heard by a few and soon forgotten. The
chaps who do most of the sounding. It
will be observed, can see more trouble to
the, square inch than a normally consti-
tuted person can see in a mile. Besides,
there is always lurking suspicion in the
minds of sensible folk that the fellow
most persistent in sounding note of
warning is in reality trying to blow his
own horn.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

A man named Foraker is engaged
in making a general nuisance of him
self, but he will not last long against
the presidential buzz saw.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

The mail is often carried in Alaska
by dog team, and the mail carrier is
sometimes forced to consume his
means of transportation a la Peary.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

A financial writer says billionaires
will be so common fifty years hence
that millionaires' wives will not get
their names into society columns at all.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

No blizzard, not even car shortages,
can stop the divorce mill at Sioux
Falls, whose output is annually in
creasing.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Hicks, the released miner, and the
man whose wife gave him smokable
cigars, Were the two happiest men
that Christmas produced
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

AS soon as the members OF Congress
have read all those special messages
they will hurry back to Washington
to disregard them.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Fortunately, several tons of Christ
mas poetry failed to see the light of
day, but there is always the fear that
the poets may hold it over for next
year
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

The President writes special mes
sages with one hand while he writes
the names of new cabinet officers with
the other
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Miner Hicks, a Kentuckian, thought
his rescuers who poured milk to him
down a pipe selected an inappropriate
fluid.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Get ready to bid long adieu to the
annual railroad pass. for it is going
away with no expectation of returning.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

In certain quarters there is a lively
fear that the next President of the
United States may weigh three hun
bred pounds.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

The post Christmas bills are with
held until next week, and then Christ
mas will not appear so roseate.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Standard Oil keeps out of jail in
Ohio through technically and the
stupidity in general of state officials.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Mr.. Carnegie says income taxes
breed liars, but so does fishing, and
he is not opposed to the latter
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

The chap who used to rave about adul-
terated food now eats his glucose without
a word.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

The President is just waiting for
Congress to convene again.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Tom Watson's new magazine II
principally Tom.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Miner Hicks got peace on earth
not in the earth-at Christmas time,
and he was very grateful.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

The legislature may not be able to
grant all these demands growing out
of the institutes enrolment and of
the times, but it certainly will not ig
more an institution that is filing the
state with young men qualified to car
ry on her great industrial tasks.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

jamestown is 300 years old, and it
is said to look it's age.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Washington Post: A western paper
says the two great authors of tragedy
are Shakespeare and whisky. That looks
like an alibi for the women.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

You have $50 days more in which to
do your Christmas shopping.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

The Christmas cigar is now expand
ing itself on the circumambrent air,
and it is not welcome.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

No one seems to know what Santa
Claus brought Poultney Bigelow
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

have been dug for the most part in
ten cent magazines.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Mississippi and Alabama contributed
generously to the number of Christmas
fatalities.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Mobile Register: Hughes" dancing and
"waterless" swimming are parts of the
curriculum in the Chicago public schools.
Footless walking might be looked for as
the next innovation but for the fact that
the Chicago foot cannot be eliminated
in that city of big things.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

The mail carrier is the modern Santa
Claus.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

~ A MEMORY.
: The freight burns but dimly now,
Within its fading glow
An old man lost in revery
Recalls the long ago.
: We may not know her tenderness,
Stands radiant by his chair,
Nor mark her gentle-wild-rose face,
Her wealth of FURNISHED hair.
We may not know her tenderness,
Or hear the words she says
The sweetheart whom he loved and lost,
The girl of other days.
THAT Alabama man whoDclaims that he
has found a way of making Lmburger
cheese that doesn't emit any smell must
be on the wrong scent" says the Wash
ington Post. Either that or he has a bad
cold.
Get us TO write your resolutions. Fifty
cents will get a good short one.
Make way for Easter
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Marshall Banner: The southern states
want the paupers, criminals and degener-
ates of Europe no more than they want
the negro criminal. We must discriminate
in our immigration.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

ping, but to formulate your New
Years resolutions.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30
VENUS WHEN IT RAINS.


On sunny days dear Susan is
A vision fair to see,
She trips along the street and bears
Herself so prettily.
But on a rainy day, we gods,
She's just a sight-no less!
And Susan isn't fairylike
On rainy days, / guess.
Behold her splashing up and down,
Her garments in a bunch,
Perchance on urgent shopping bent,
Or else she's out for lunch
Her overshoes are much too large.
Her arms are held askew
She's not so sweet to contemplate,
And not SO fair to view.
Her hat reclines upon one ear.
Her raincoat wags about,
She looks so wet you wonder why
She ever ventured out.
She jabs her steel umbrella points
In everybody's eyes,
And there's no curling in the curls
You used to idolize.
Sne hops across muddy street
Ungracefully, and scatters
Each little pool, until she seems
polka dot of spatters.
She's most uncertain in her gait:
No one could mark her bearing
And damp, pedraggled misery
Without moment caring.
Finally.
We don't desire an argument.
And yet we u like to say
That women ought to stay at home
When there's rainy day.
1.-THE Night Before Christmas" had 6
great run this year. Eugene Field alst
figured in the returns.
Science seems to think that Eve banded
Adam lemon instead of an apple. Al
ter studying the particulars, and review
ing what happened afterward, we are o.
the opinion that it might as we'll have
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

II you are good you may some day wear
wings and fly high without spending any
money.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Wall street Is hopeful because $780,,
100000 in dividends will be disbursed
next week.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Washington Herald: Now it is wfis-
pered that Mr.. Roosevelt will go on a
tour of the world hmm ediately after re-
firing from the Presidency. Thus goes
glimmering the last of MIR. Bryans bright
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Get us TO write your resolutions. Fifty
cents will get good short one.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30
SMILING.

Smiling makes the road seem shorter,
Smiling drives away All care,
Smiling turns the sunshine brighter,
Smiling conquers dread despair.
Smiling leads the way to laughter,
Smiling is loves recipe;
Smiling now brings smiles hereafter
Face the future smilingly.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Dakota is a promoter of trial mar
riages.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30
COTTON JOURNAL

Make way for Easter!
PAIII, coon
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

glasses in the magazines and papers?"
asks the Talladega Mountain Home.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

What has become of that fellow Kip
ling, who used to write ragged poetry
and stories and get his picture and
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30
ALABAMA PRESS

congressman has made the momentous
discovery that what this country needs
is more S. bills. We knew that all the
time.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

that in order to put the college abreast
of her sister institutions these needs
have arisen:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Macon News: No boy is so bad that
his mother refuses to remember him
with her presents and her prayers on
Christmas day.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30
AS YOU co

AS YOU 90.
But little time is left to you,
So make the best of it,
And don't repine for what is gone,
Or fear the rest of 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30
RUD.. PLEASE WRITE!

The woods are full of Teddy bears.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Atlanta Constitution: A Turkish maxim
says, Food should be conveyed to the
mouth with the right hand" In view
of the rapid .hoist' in livin prices, the
average man feels the maxim should be
reversed to read First catch your food"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

IN a short story about IA Girl, Man
and a Storm" not word is said about
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30
e.51,suzs~
PRESS POINTS

Memphis Commercia1-Appe Between
Dear Marie and Lady Tanksley, Wash
ington has been receiving a touch of high
life
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

The fellows who a short time ago were
pushing thru and 'tho" so Justify seem
to be resting. Are we to conjecture that
somebody's foot slipped.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

Ring out the old,
Ring in the new.
And. Central" ring
Ten sixty-two."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

THE Night Before Christmas had a
great run this year. Eugene Field also
figured in the returns.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

In giving away simple life calendars,
Mrs. Russell Sage probably feels like an
Insurance company.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30

No blizzard, not even car shortages,
can stop the divorce mill at Sioux
Falls, whose output is annually in
creasing.
Miner Hicks, Kentuckian, thought
his rescuers who poured milk to him
down a pipe selected an inappropriate
fluid.
Get ready to bid long adieu to the
annual railroad pass. for it is going
away with no expectation of returning.
Standard Oil keeps out of Jail in
Ohio through technically and the
stupidity in general of state officials.
--e----
The post Christmas bills are with
held until next week, and then Christ
mas will not appear so roseate.
Mr.. Carnegie says income taxes
breed liars, but so does fishing, and
he is not opposed to the latter.
Miner Hicks got peace on earth
not in the earth-at Christmas time,
and he was very grateful.
The Christmas cigar is now expand
ing itself on the circumambrent air,
and it is not welcome.
So far the Panama canal seems to
have been dug for the most part in
ten cent magazines.
Now is the time, not to do your shop
ping, but to formulate your New
Years resolutions.
Wall street Is hopeful because $780,,
100000 in dividends will be disbursed
next week.
Mississippi and Alabama contributed
generously to the number of Christmas
fatalities.
No one seems to know what Santa
Claus brought Poultney Bigelow
You have $50 days more in which to
do your Christmas shopping.
The President is just waiting for
Congress to convene again.
jamestown Is 300 years old, and it
is said to look it's age.
Tom Watson's new magazine is
principally Tom.
Dakota is a promoter of trial mar
riages.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-30
LIVING IN A woMAN's HOTEL.

mot at liberty she replied instantly
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-10-25
OUARTETTE OF pRUNKS.
Two First and Two second Offences in
Eity Court.

a duartettc of DRINKS appeared in
city court Monday. Charles Nc%urt-
ncy and William Murray each pleaded
guilty to first off rces and wcr" fined
50 and costs Of 5000. Both expect to
escapc the alternate ton days in jail by
paying the sums taxed against them.
+. A. Carroll, whose loquacious spree
carried terror to the women Of Monroe
street ANA vicinity until his arrest sat
urday, pleaded guilty, when arraiEn-
ed. to a second offence. He received a
straight sentence of 80 days in the
House Of Correction, an Institution with
which he is not unfamiliar. Called
upon to disclose, Carroll explained that
ho procured two pints Of alcohol In
Chazy. y. Y. IS ne was seen to alight
from the boat Saturday morning, his
disclosure was accepted.
Thomas Brayton pleaded not guilty
when lis turn came to answer to .
charge of a second offence. on trial,
however, he was found guilty and as
soSsod the usual s15 and costs of $685.
with an alternative sentence Of 1Sj
days IN the House Of Correction ut Rut-
land. lilo appealed the case.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-10-25
HERMIT AND HUNTER.
North HerO's EXterminrtor of Wild
Rensts in the City for supplies.

Louis Prothers hermit and hunter Of
North Hero. paid a brief visit TO this
city Tuesday. bough; a few supplies
and told of the killing Of several ele-
plants and other particularly fcrocious
beasts. Louis wore e.. regulation
buckskin Jacket ana belt and carried
his two army muslets, umbrella and
cane. with gusto. To be sure. the mus
keta We're rusty and out of practice but
Louis explained that little bear oil
would put them I'm shape again. After
one more hunt after a Wild buffalo.
now supposed TO be In North Hero,
Louis said he would 40 to the sea
shore, near Providence, r. l., to spend
the winter.
Louis is a picturesque character and
spends most Of his life camping along
the lake shore. hunting and fishing.
He is n war veteran and receives pen
sion which helps him TO live out his
peculiar halluCinltion, that of being a
warrior and oXter:niuator of wild
beasts Louis is always quite loqua-
cious but relates of hunting tigers and
lions with extreme modosty.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-10-25
FOR PURE ATHLETICS.
Committee Aprointed md H"commenhn-
tions Made nt Teachers Meeting.

At the recent meeting or 'le S'"""'
masters c!uh ana Inc VERMONT 80 ''''
of the New England Association OF O'aS-
steal Teachers, held ut NaddleourE' 'ne
following business was transacted:
Committee apponteh on ath'eVc queS-
ton for secondary schoois; frlh''l"i
HOLSTER Of Goddard Seminary fr'hcPa'
Rowland of ST. Johnshury Academy
Principal Colhurn OF Burr ana burton
Seminary, Principal Thomas of Turing
ton high school Articles to he submitted
at once to schools of the state Tor CRU
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-10-25
THE NINETEENTH CENTURY Gil

The annual meeting of the Nr,eteer
Century club was held at the resider
of Mr.. and Mrs. Bennett Turk Tuesd
evening and the following officers W.
elected for the ensuing year.
Honorary preside,t-NIrs. Albert
Richardson.
PresiGeut-Heman ". Allen.
Vice-p pres dent-Mrs. Bennett Turk.
Treasurer Elias Lyman.
Socrotary-AIls Theodore s. Peck.
Executive conlm!ttee-nema w. All
Edward Wells. Mrs. Elias Lyman, Fred
ick y. Burgess, Louis n. Turk, NJ
Theodore S. Peck teX-othc!o)
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-10-25
THE POTATO CROP.

The Crop Reporter published by author
ity OF the secretary OF agriculture says;
The average condition of potatoes on
October l was So as compared with s55
one month ago, 74,3 on october |, 1905,
Sg.5 on October l, 1901, and a ten-ycar
average Of IA" The average for YER
mont for october l IS 90 in Maine %
and in New York 81.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-10-25
BIG FIRE IN WEST BURKE.

lively fire Saturday in Mr.. Colby's
barn on School street in West Burke
called out the citizens OF that section
ana a hustle was made to save the 9th
er buildings on the place. In spite of
all that could he done with buckets and
a hand fire engine, the house as we'll as
the barn was burned to the ground.
The buildings OF Harry Bugbee, stand
/ ing near where the fire broke out, were
| soon in flames and III less than two
hours from the time the 1re was dis
covered these buildings We're burned
| Clarence Carrick's house was threat
ened with fire. but fortunately the wind
changed and this place was saved,
! though 1t had been cleared of the
| household goods 1t contained. When
the second set of buildings caught it
| looked as though every building on the
street would go in spite of all that
could be done with the apparatus.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-10-25
STATE CONVENTION OPENS
Pres. Clark of the Y. y. :. e. r.. pe-
liver. Address nj Remington.

Pennington, oct. 22-Tho 2lst an
rual convention OF the State I. T. ).
O l. onencd here this evening with
an address by the Rev Francis clark,
D. D., president of the united society
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1906-10-25
OFFICERS LIQUOR SEIZED
BY CUSTOMS OFFICERS.

BY CUSTOMS OFFICERS
States Attorney John Hawrican of
North Hero and Mahlon Gonya of Alburp h
Springs, at the request of a Canadian Off
Ger from Cowansville, Que. assisted last
Friday in raiding four places il, Canada
where 1t was supposed that whiskey was
Illegally sold. Raids were made on Alec
Hillker Alec st. John, Amasa Clark and
l." Johnson of Alburgh. At HilEkers y
bottles OF Canadian whiskey was found
AT st. Johns ono barrel Of beer and sew
eral bottles of whisl1ey were secured, but
the other places were dry A large part
of the coniiscated goods was taken to
Noyan and shipped to St. Johns. while
states Attorney Hawrican and Mr.. Con
va started for home with seven hotties "
whlskey ana two bottles of beer On
reaching East Alburgh inspector George
+. Scully, who was relieving Inspector
lJadd at the time, scented and seized the
liquor Monday Officer I.add went 20
North Hero ard seized States Attorney
1awrican's team.
ACCIDENTAL SHOOTING IN CABOT.
Clarence Colebrook of Cabot accidentally
shot himself late Saturday afternoon
while hunting. He had an apple and Il
revolver in ono pocket and in reaching
into the pocket for the apple the trigger
of the revolver in some way caught in
| the lrping of the pocket and tho revolver
was discharged, the bullet going into the
| right leg The bullet was extracted by
| DR.. l.. w. Burbank and ii is expected the
| young man will recover lie Is q years
| old.
BABY SHOT IN ARM
william Marrinelli one year-old, the sor
of Peter AIartinell OF East Wallingford
was aociden tally shot Monday afternoon
and will probably lose his right arm. A
shotgun which was left standing In a
corner had fallen over and in some way
was discharged while tho child WIS crawl.
ing around the floor. His arm was terribly
| shattered.
THE REAL. Mr. SMITH TEsTIFIEs.
Ernest Smith OF Boston, whom It Il
alleged the man arrested at Mancheste
some two weeks ago has been attempt
ting to impersonate, was Il witness a
tho hearing before Judge Bates at Bonn
ington Monday morning. The man wht
gave his name as II. c. Smith and WIKI
said he was representing the firm of A
NJ. Smith g. o., of Boston, is charged
jointly with his wife with forgery in at
tempting to pass a check for 5000 on tn,
North Bennington National bank an,
also with passing other checks OF
parties In Dorset. Ernest c. Smith testl
fed that he was in the employ Of A. M
Smith & Co., provision dealers OF Boston
and that A. NJ. Smith was his father
He produced several checks drawn b,
the firm and paid to show the signatur
and style OF check used by the house
He was shown a parcel of checks signe
by A. NJ. Smith and asked IL the hous
used such check or signature lie ha
never seen blanks of the description o
n similar signature. when asked IL h
had seen the man and woman arrest e.
in Manchester and who gave their name
as Mr., and Mrs. Il. c. Smith. he reptile
in the negative. The hearing was c0l
tinued one week 1t Is alleged that tn
parties have boon working game .