Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1906-12-14
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and second sight"
"Do you think he will make her a
good husbandT "No. | think she will
make him a good husband"
She-Sir, IL you attempt to kiss me
l shall call for help. lle-For helpl
Why. my dear girl, am capable OF do
ing II alone ANSWERS.
Candid Frlend-You win have to
work hard to win an heiress, lmpe-
cunlous one-l1l have to work jolly
sight harder stlll IL don't-Tit.BltS
Mrs. MJen-oh, really, that's nlcel
And did he truly say didn't show my
agel Mrs, Cutting-well--er-- said
YOU were always very careful to conceal
IL.
Jason-Many n wise word Is spoken
In Jest Mason-Yes; but they can't
compare with the number OF foolish
ones spoken In earnest.--Casselrs Jour
nal
Hello, old man, and how do you en-.
Joy married life. ehI Ever have any
differences Of opinion with your wife"
"Yes, but | don't let her know about
them"
Father (sternly)--So you've failed
again In your examinations! How DO
you explain that2 Son--Because they
went and asked me the same questions
as before.
Customer Cat bookstore) Have you
work on the art OF letter wrItIngI
New Salesman-No, sir. l should think
you could learn that at any correspond.
ence school.
Fred (sadly)--It's no use. told
your father that couldn't live without
you. Edith--And what did he say to
that? Frcd-oh, he offered to pay my
funeral expenses.
She-That's all very pretty, Jack;
but do you think we can live ON love
and klssesI He-It's much the safest
everything else Is either adulterated,
or poisoned. or talnted-Llfe. .
what are you going to call your
versesf" asked Joakley. "A Broken
Vase" replied Rlmer. "Ah! that re-
minds me OF little thing servant
girl OF ours dashed or the other day."
She-And are you really so much
better since you returned from abroadr
He-Yes. I'm quite another man. She
We'll, I'm sure all your friends will
be delighted to hear II And he Is now
wondering II she meant anything.
George-The ring doesn't seem to 1T
very well, Clara. Hadn't better take
1t back and have It made smaller?
Clara-No. George; an engagement ring
Is an engagement ring, even II had to
wear It around my neck.-Tit-Bits.
Father (at head OF stalrs) s)-Ethcl,
what time Is lti Ethel lin the draw
ing room)-It's quarter past ten,
father. Father-All right. Don't for
get to start the clock again after the
young man goes out to get his break.
fast.
Lalrd-Well, Sandy, you are getting
very bent. Why don't you stand straight
up like me, man? Sandy-Eh, mon, do
you see that field O. corn over there?
81 do" "Weel, yen notice that the
full heIds hang down, and the empty
ones stand up"
"I've come to the conclusion" said
the mild pesslmlst, "that must have
been born great" "You don't say2" re-
marked SInnIcksOn. YES; at any rate
there doesn't appear to be any chance
of my achieving greatness or having 1t
thrust upon me-"
A certain popular preacher Is very
absent-mInded. One day his wife came
into his study crying In agony, "Oh! |
have swallowed a pin!" He smiled ten
derly: Don't worry, my dear" he said,
as he fumbled at his walstcoat, "here,
here Is another pin!"
She-Here's an interesting story OF
a man who begged to be sent to prison
in place Of his wife. He-Aha and yet
you always declare that men are never
self-sacrlficlng. She-Well, this mans
wife happened to be washerwoman,
and IL she went to prison he'd have to
work.-Smith's Weekly.