The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-12-02
Those Sensible EngliShmen
A Whit of October in a Land Where Rooms Are Not Over
heated and the Furnace Is Not the Master.

and dear old Boreas was playing The North
Wind Doth Blow. with variations, through
the hall n the rest OF the house.
I'm warm blooded, but when it's down
to forty / want a fire, ever IL the name Of
the month happens to be August. And IL
its up to eighty in January l give my
furnace a holiday and dress like the Queen
Of the May.
But when my host came in from q stroll
in the rain and saw my bulgy appearance
he said: You look like a trussed chicken.
h the natter"
just then my teeth began to chatter. and
l said as 1 shook hands with him-if you
don't shake hands with your host every
morning in England he thinks you don't
care for him any more:
Observation-Disclosures you think q hearth
fuf-fuf-fire would look wellr Brrhhl"
He burst into a genial laugh.
"A hearth fire in Octoberl What's the
man thinking OFF"
Just 10 take the chill of the house.
I'm used to a furnace at home, you know
-Yes, that's just the trouble with you
Americans; you overhead your houses
And l am considered a cold air crank
by my neighbors.
However, being hospitality itself. he or
dered the maid to start a fire in the morning
room. and when it was blazing with the
fury OF a box of safety matches he opened
the windows. and all the members Of the
family when they came down to shake
hands all round said:
-Oh, dear, how swelteringl What did
you start a fire in October for? Do you
want to make us tender, father"
Its a little American custom I'm imi-
tating,' said paterfamilias with a good
tempered smile at me, and I felt like Guilt
yer among the Brobdignagians.
1t wasn't long before it began to get
damp in spite OF the false alarm on the
hearth and I ventured to shut one Of the
windows, but my host said paternally:
MY dear boy; II you're going to spend
the winter in England you've got to get
used to sane methods. You overhead FOUR
houses in America to such an extent that I
wonder your children nave any stamina
at all"
Il know said I; that most people do,
but I've always prided myself on being an
exception. l never let the temperature
rise above 20 degrees il I can help IL.
~-Frightful!" said he. OK plosively. "Abso-
lutely frightful, man! You lay yourself
p to be the prey Of every germ that
flies, walks or creeps. Sixty degrees is
ample il you're sitting still and SIS degrees
II you're moving"
II was 81 degrees. Sol began to 90 through
the military setting up exercises.
He was pleased.
That's it. Struggle against your efem-
mate desire for warmth. Why. IL you're
chilly here in October what would you
be In December"
Kind OF morguish, l guess.' said I.
Invent up to my room and found a couple
more suits Of u~nderclothes and put them
on-under. Then l put on my overcoat,
and the breakfast bell ringing l went down
to breakfast and had a warm meal.
After breakfast 1 sat in the morning
room and the fire snapped jeeringly at me,
as il to say, what are our flames among
such windsp" and I said. NO much"
Pretty soon my host went out for his
morning walk, rubberless and umbrellaless
and the rain drilling down in a way to
kill the gate receipts at q dog fight, and
a soon as he had gone out the fire went
Out. Eye servant! It was actually ashamed
TO burn in an English house as early az
October.
And the worst OF it was that those English
people looked and felt warm. And I've
always prided myself on my good circu-
lation.
All day long fresh and damp air poured
through the house and sang -stone walls
do not a prison make" md I wished l had
been born in England 40 that l might have
appreciated my benefits. But before night
fan I began TO long for the dead. dry heat
Of q New York business Office.
Sunday morning every bOdy oversight
except myself. ! was wakened by a per-
son sneezing and found that IL was I. The
glass was still falling and the mercury was
oyersleeping to such a extent that it hadn't
risen for two days.
Dear man. said l when l met my host
and shook hands with him, you have
been 90 kind 20 me that I will never forget
it while life lasts. English hospitality is
the thing that made the invention of the
word necessary. but 1 do not wish TO lie
forever in an English churohya ard and nave
the rocks tell me I froze 10 death. Lead
me TO a steamer that is going TO America
that I may live the foolish life to which
INV ancestry condemns me. / would fain
warm myself before l die"
And now I wander around in New York
Offices with my beak open and my wings
extended. already forgetting that was cold
in England.