Los Angeles herald., 1906-04-03
Pi-LineS and PiCk-UpS
PruneViIle Local News
(By A. Prune.)

Prunejuice are to be married Saturday
evening at the Fig Leaf church. They
will make their home at Concord,
where the groom is employed in a
pickle foundry.
Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph Asparagus are
rejoicing over the arrival of q young
Asparagus, a ten-pound bunch.
John Pieplant is suffering from a
severe attack of cramps. He is at
tended by DR.. Swamproot, so his
friends have little hopes of his re-
covery.
Josephine Huckleoerry is down with
the blues.
Miss Mary Sourwine is expected home
from college the last of the week. Miss
Mary carried off the cocoanut this
year, having Il general average in all
her studies of 81.
Mamie Carnation is entertaining
friends from Violetville. On Thursday
she gave pink tea in their honor.
John Hop is very low, the doctor in
attendance having little hopes of pro-
longing life more than a few days.
Henry Lemon was down from Orange
Vile last week. He reports the potato
crop as being a fair average, the hills
running from fifteen to twenty spuds
each.
Joseph Appletree and wife are enter
tanning Miss Belleflower from Ben
Davis county
The hay crop is going to be a peach
this year. Jacob Snodgrass picked ten
tons of alfalfa from one acre of ground.
Everyone should come to the Prune-
Vile fruit and flower show. For full
particulars and entry blanks address
Henry Limejuice.
Thousands of tourists are coming to
this village every year and some of
them come back a second time. This
proves that Pruneville is going to
grow. No use talking, we do raise the
finest dried fruits in the state here.
David Crabapple had the misfortune
to fall down cellar the other day while
on his way to refill the vinegar jug.
With the exception of u broken neck
no other injuries were found by the
coroner's jury The funeral was held
Saturday at the Grapevine church. in
terment being at Primrose cemetery.
H. e. w.
However. John d. might have sim
plified it by sleeping in the safe.
Funny, but no girl keeps cool when
rival casts her in the shade.
A boarder in Ohio killed his landlady.
He took it too seriously.
A giraffe never utters a sound but
just rubbers. What a congressman a
giraffe would make since the house was
Cannon-ized.
People who let we'll enough alone
never get anything any better.
Your parasol peddler is in a shady
business.
The late Herr Most spent a total of
twelve years in Jail. Yet men are fight
ing to succeed him as anarchist leader!
Philadelphia is to have an elevated
road in three years. It'll take that long
to wake up the old girl.
The smokers golden rule: Give unto
your friends the same cigars that you
smoke yourself.
Any workingman would rather work
than be worked. And yet, there are
walking delegates in labor unions.
A Chicago policeman raded a down.
town gambling house fifteen minutes
after he started to walk his first beat.
Now, he walks in the rhubarbs, you
bet.
Wouldn't the tunnel under Bering
strait give the czar a bully hole to
crawl into?
The story that John d. was losing his
mind didn't creak ripple. Had it been
his money, now
1t costs Chicago $4OOOO,OOO to run the
city government-not counting what
the other and unofficial holdups get OH
the side.