The National tribune., 1906-11-01

large hickory stick. used to baat up
a feather bed, and started for Mark.
Hold on. Madam. don't be SO fast.
Let's reason this case. We're gentle-
men, and intend to pay for all we get"
DO you Secesh pretend to call YOUR
selves gentlemen? Get out of here. Do
You think I am going to feed rebs. and
my husband Colonel in the Union
army? Get outi"
BY this time all the boys were ont
and getting mounted. while I remained
just in the rear of Mark az he slo,vIv
advanced backward toward the Iront
door. fearing to turn round and expose
mis- boil to the attacks of the woman
ana her club. She was striking at his
shins all the time, which he kept bent
nearly double, all the time remonstrat-
ing with her about being SO hasty. and
she abusing rebs and Secesh. After
backing him out of the door and a few
feet in the yard she 'let up with the
club, but her tongue still kept on the
warpath. After we were clear of her
l said.
Sam. why didn't you take your pis-
tol or sword to her?"
DO you think I'd disgrace my sword
by spiiling the blood of woman? But
believe she would just as soon hit me
as not If L hadn't kept getting out of
her way
So we mounted and SOON came ND
with the other boys, who were roaring
with laughter. and Sans boil was for
gotten in the many remarks as to tn.
Dattie of the Yankee woman and the
Lieutenant. We soon met a man in
the road. and asked him who lived
back there in that next brick house.
"Col. Tinker
'Who is Col. Tinker?"
why he has been a Colon ell in The
Yankee army three months"
'WcU who's that woman fbara
why. that's Mrs. Tinker She's COL
onel or General at home"
well, I should remark she was"
said Sam, and we rode on
Mark Under Fire.
Twas about l o'clock in the night
VIXEN We arrived at Col. Bill Splawn's
place again. tired, hungrv ard dusty
Owing to the late hour we would MT
disturb the family by asking for any
thing to eat; so We put our horses away
and fed them in the large barn, and
all of us got up in the loft on the hay
to sleep until morning. Mark Twain
selected spot near the door in the
gable end of the building. I lay but
short distance from him. Shortly after
we had dropped off to sleep some one
at the top of his voice yelled, Fire,
Fire." Every fellow was up in an in
slant, and, sure enough, nice little fire
was just beginning to open up in the
hay Mark Twain made about two or
three rolls over and out Of the door.
He went down onto the rocks below, n
drop of about 10 or IL feet, and in
doing so sprained his ankle and sat
groaning and rubbing his ankle with
one hand, while with the other he was
feeling around for his boil. and while
in said predicament the boys in the loft
were busy rolling up the hay where the
fire was and rolled it out the same door
owl Il Il 80
him the roll of burning hay fell. I
shall never forget the 1udicrous scene
Mark and the hay presented. Away he
went down the slope on all fours with
the burning hay on his back, like a.
terrapin with a hot coal on his back.
AS soon as he had thrown off the burn
ing hay Mark turned his attention to
the laughing crowd looking down on
him. and such language that would not
do to publish. Trying to smother our
laughter. we helped him to his feet.
1t appears one of the boys went to
sleep with an old pipe in his mouth
and set the hay on fire. with the above
result to our Second Lieutenant and no
other damage. No more sleep that
night, and in the morning we advanced
in force on the house. After we had
breakfast and related to Col. Pill
Splawn our expioits since joining the
army. we started east again toward New
London. and in the afternoon again
camped at Muck Matson's. He made
sport of our grand campaign and safe
return without the loss of man. altho
our Lieutenant was sadly wounded.
Mark was put to bed and tenderly cared
for by Muck and his wife. Here the
brigade" disbanded.
Mark In Hiding.
Many years afterward Mrs. Matson
said that Mark was laid up there for a
long time, and they got a crutch and
cane for him. and that they kept a little
niger on picket all the time at the
mouth of the lane, and when the little
Niger would be seen running for dear
life toward the house Mark would grab
his crutch and put out for the bushes
in the woods adj Dining the yard. By