St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-01-05

have a contract to heat all out
doors.
Wonder If anyone has wished
the Russian potentate a Merry
New Year"
They are going to hold a goat
show at Dallas. Turn to the left,
please, and butt in
Cupid had the busiest year in the
history Of Portland but the divorce
court showed a mighty spritely
second.
Ever notice how much better the
fire burns when YOU are up early
than II does when you're twenty
minutes latel
Ever since Potter * Goold have
gotten their stock Of calenders
Goold has been cussin' umbrellas.
(This is not an ad)
"The Black Heifer" was recently
played by an Oak Grove Dramatic
Club. Here's hoping none of the
actors made bull of it.
G. +. Yerkes, the rapid-transit
king Of the world, died in New
York Friday night. He knows
now what real rapid transit Is.
The trust has gobbled all the
catch Of Maine lobsters-and now
the only Holsters left there are those
who join the get-rich-immediately
concerns.
The Portland Journals beauty
column" gives a recipe for a lotion
"for a red nose And we always
thought people desired to ge, rid Of
a red nose
II is claimed that the Statue of
Satan" over which so much gush
has recently been read bore a
strong resemblance to John ID.
Rocket r. Welll
The man who wrote Throw
Out The Life-l line" received but
ss5 from his publisher for the
work. Evidently he threw the
lifeline to the wrong person.
A message was sent around the
earth last Monday in eleven sec
onds. Next to the spreading OF a
bit Of spicy gossip at a sewing cir
Gle that is the swiftest record made
Rev. Dan RAIDER spoke in Port.
land Sunday afternoon on Losing
The Man" II is understood that
a special invitation was extended to
the Portland police and detectives.
A new railway ad says "Qnick
time to warm cline. Possibly
prospective passengers should look
up the percentage OF fatal accidents
on that road before touching their
tickets.
Arizona is getting pretty mighty
particular, Rather than to 20 into
the union in conjunction with New
Mexico her people say they'll wait
a score of years and go in like a
gentleman.
Isn't II odd that whenever de-
iaulter hikes away he always leaves
a "bloSen Il, ,arted" wifel II he
leaves a full purse II doesn't take
long to patch up the heart so IL II
work all right for another man.
AT McMinnville. So the News
Reporter asserts. is a COW that can
wiggle her horns. A COW who
couldn't wigwag signals OF distress
would he OF no use in McMinnville
-unless they run her for city mar
shal,
\ Chicago man went home
Christmas Eve without a present
for his wife. This SO enraged her
that she beat him with a poker till
the police came and arrested her.
She hung her stocking up in the
bull-pe tha, night.
A Houston (Texas) editor had
his throat cut from ere to ear last
Saturday by one OF his type-setters.
Possibly the editor persisted in
marking ont the final "me' ON
program-and the compositor
didn't like IL that way
Philadelphia's Y. w. c. u. has
decided to turn out all members |
over IS years old. But who ever
heard OF an unmarried woman of
SSl However. il they do quit |
there Il be a chance to form an o. |
C. c. L. (Old Girls Christian
Union
Professor Paul Carus asks What
Is Forgettingl" Forgetting, Paul,
is neglecting to agitate the yellow
matter in Your Imagination bulb SO
as to definitely settle whether YOU
were 10 take home a chunk of short
ribs, order a cord Of short wood, or
get your teeth filled-and be short
for six months. Forget i'll
The sweetes, ones I've ever met
Are dear old maids:
Noall never see them in pct
rhoss dear old maids:
They eNerciSc, as people know, that gooi