The Washington herald., 1906-11-18

y
vicious thrust Of an amethyst hatpin.
4 discovered-my real age!"
Did you md a gray hair?" asked the
bachelor sympatheticaliy, ''or did you do
it-by the teeth?''
The widow shook her head.
It's worse than that she said sadly.
Impossible" exclaimed the bachelor,
rubbing his bald spot thOUghtfully.
"The girl across the street" announced
the widow, turning upon the bachelor
tragically, asked me to chaperon her! Do
7 look like a chaperon, Mr.. Travers?" she
added chalIengingly.
Not a bit!'' replied the bachelor
promptly. Your pompadOurs too frivol-
Gus, your skirts have too many frtlls, and
your heels are shOckingly high and the
tilt of your hat would demoralize a Meth
odist camp-meeting. And even if all these
things weren't against you -"
Against met The widow turned from
the mirror and sat down with her gloves
hanging Imply in her hands.
''Why. yes" returned the bachelor;
against your dignity and sense of respon-
sibility and
the widow, gazing dejectedly at the
wrinkled gloves in her hands. Had you
noticed my-dignity. Mr.. Travers?"
The bachelor shood his head.
Where do you keep it?" he inquired
with interest.
Imagine" said the widow. leaning her
elbows on the table and her chin in her
hands, anybody treating me-deferen-
tiaHy!"
Imagine itr' exclaimed the bachelor
'Or respectfully"
''Or seriously"
1T would be fatal" sighed the widow.
TO whom2" asked the bachelor appre-
hegsively.
''To my vanity declared the widow.
ITS not the loss of her teeth but the
loss of her vanity that is the first sign of
old age in a woman. It's not the loss OF
her figure. but the loss Of her enthusiasm
and her Illusions; and it's not the discOv-
cry that she's growing gray, but that
she's growing respectable and digniied
and responsible that is terrifying"
The bachelor sat down patiently. He
had been waiting twenty minutes already
for the widow to finish putting on her
gloves.
Women he said soothingly, are only
as old as they-say they are"
The widow looked at him repTOachfUlly
That's as long as they are willing tc
say, Mr.. Travers," she retor<ed. IT'S
after they stop saying anything about Il
that the real tragedy begins Denying
ones birthdays is a sign you feel them
And it's feeling old, not being old, that
matters. There are some women Of s.
who celebrate their birthdays with per
feet frankness and JOY, because they
know that the fire of youth and attrac-
tion still burns within them, and gher,
are girls of IS who shudder every tim.
they look at the calendar.
That's it, agreed the bachelor
promptly why does a woman lie abOu
her age. anyway? So long as she ac
EnOwledges it, everybody takes her a.
her face value; but the moment she lie:
about It. She might as well step right VI
on the shelf"
The widow Jumped.
Lie is 4 naughty word. Mr.. Travers
she said haughtily. 1T doesn't apply
1t applies to nearly everything a WON
an does" interrupted the bachelor rude
". she lies about her face when sht
puts powder on il. and about her dgur,
when she wears corset two sizes too
small and about her hand when sht
squeeZes il into glove that pinChes. anC
about her age when she tries TO be girl
fsh and ingenue after forty. To be hon
estly forty or fifty or sixty is beyond he
power"
Being honestly sixty sighed tn,
widow, means wearing bonnets an,
chewing peppermint Iozenges. and walk
ing about in heelless slippers"
well" argued the bachelor, isn't tha
more attractive than wearing a switcl
and a false tooth. and walking about Il
French heels. and the fear Of suddel
death? A man never lies about his age
He doesn't need to- returned III
widow. because so long as he's got hi
digestion and his reputation"
And his income interpolated tn
bachelor
He can find some woman to be inter
ested I'm him. finished the widow H
doesn't have 10 change the fashion Of hi
clothes every time he gets a decade old
er. Besides" she added, thoughtfully
he has so many other things to Ii
about. He has to stop somewhere"
The bachelor started.
He is brought up from babyhOOd," h
replied with dignity, ignoring the insult
with the understanding that a boy can
always be a boy"
And that man is nicer than a box
anyhow" added the widow. But nobOd
ever warns a girl that she can't alway
be a girl"
well, when is a girl-not a girl?" ask
ed the bachelor with interest.
When she's old enough 20 be-a chape
ron,' moaned the widow, prompt,
when she begins to feel anxious abou
getting settled"
And nervous about getting married.
added the bachelor
When she suddenly discovers that bic
ture hats are inappropriate, and that sh
looks foolish in pink"
And that she would rather be con
Portable than fascinating"
when every new man ceases 10 reI
resent a possible Prince Charming"
And begins to represent only Do.
sible income and a possible means
matrimony."
when she is afraid to stand out
the moonlight for fear of catching coz
and would rather miss ball than he
beauty sleep. and prefers tea or iC
cream and boys TO men, and a coy col
ner to a cotillon. When life and low
begin to mean serious business instea
Of mere pastimes. When she ceases
look for thrills. and begins TO bottle
about bills and-and there are otht
signs. Mr.. Travers." finished the widow
dropping her eyes to the mahogan
table
Yes, I've seen them" responded III
bachelor, 'in the street cars and III
backs OF the magazines They al
wrinkle eTadiCatOTs. and hafr-renewer
and crow s-feet killers. and banting prC
cesses. and Swedish exercises. The mC
IAent ytoman becomes frightened abot
lieT age, she Tushes in for violent exel
else and beauty culture
When she ought TO be rushing into
Irritation, or love affair, or ! profession