Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-08-30
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The sweet boy graduates are of two
classes-those who hunt for jobs and
those who accept positions.-New York
Mail.
Wheat is 10 cents cheaper a bushel
than at this time last year. Bread
should be cheaper, too-New York
World.
From the way the rubber trust is
stretching out one can see that its di-
rectors favor an elastic policy.-New
York Herald.
The Russian peasant is taking cd
vantage of the calm that precedes the
storm to get in his harvest.-Philadel-
phia Inquirer.
Dowie has been ousted from Zion
City by tie courts. Now is the time for
him to make good as ''restorer. -
New York Herald.
The people of this country wanted to
know what they were eating, and, hav.
ing found out, are not quite happy
Philadelphia Ledger.
1t Will probably suit the Russian ter
rorists as well to scare the car to
death as to smite him with bomb
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Now a Boston scientist has discov.
cred seventeen varieties of germs on a
ten-dollar bill. Boil your ten-dollar
Observation-Disclosures Post
There is only one bridge that never
goes down under stress of weather, and
that is being played at summer resorts.
New York Commercial.
Before being shot, General Stoessel
is to be dismissed from the army. That
means he is to be fred first and shot
afterward.-Wash Post.
About the easiest job now in sight in
st. Petersburg would be that of taking
the census of the American residents OF
that city.-New York Tribune.
"Uncharted rock" says the captain
Of the Siro. Four hundred lives is a
high price for such an addition to cart
ography.-New York American.
Sir Thomas Upton is coming for that
cup with two yachts next time. AL
right-if two yachts can sail faster
than one.-Philadelph Inquirer.
The Carnegie Steel Company will
drill a well 5000 feet. What an ex
celIent hole for President Corey tc
crawl into.-Philadelp Ledger.
Back, back to your pagoda, hat-eyed
Gaekwar of Baroda; well for you you'd
left our beaches ere you failed to praise
our peaches.-New York American.
Pittsburg has a way of keeping in
the news, what with rich men who
marry actresses and bank cashiers who
turn defaulters.-New York World.
A university professor claims it is
possible to live without brains. Has
probably examined the fellow who
rocked the boat.-New York American
Dr. Andrew D. White says that muir
der trials are farcica1. Perhaps he re-
fers to those conducted in the columns
of the yellow press-Philadelphi Led
ger.
Henry W. Herring, cashier of the
ruined Chicago bank, says he knew
nothing about the looting. Why didn't
he? That's his business.-Philadelp
Press.
If the proposed method of making
paper from cotton stalks proves a sue
cess the American forests will feel q
little less pprehensiye.-New York
World
The ice trust fears a famine because
it cannot get enough men to handle it,
product. Has it tried offering wages a:
big as its profits Philadelphia In
quirer.
Heads you lose, tails we win," seemt
to be about the show some of the Chi
cago banks give their depositors fol-
Commercial.
Maxim Gorky is making a lot of noise
not dissimilar to that of a man who
has been booted" off the front stoor
and is trying to stife his rage-Phila
delphia Press.
1t must be highly diver%ing to the
japanese to watch the Russians smash
ing that part of their armament thai
did not get into the late unpleasant
nesS.-Chicago Post.
BY the way, what has become Of oul
old friend Count Witte? From his con
tinued silence we infer that he is Sc
creted somewhere among the tall grass
Philadelphia Press.
New York is suffering from a short
age Of chorus girls. There doesn't seen
to be any relief in sight unless the man
ayers lower the age limit to 42.-Phil
adelphia North American.
The English judge who bars sketch
ing of scenes in the divorce court set
a good example. The courts and theil
proceedings should not be exploited fol-
popular amuseInent.-New York Trib
une
Colonel Watterson is curious tt
know if the new slang skiddoo is any
improvement on the old slang skedaG
die. 1t is. 1t Is shorter and better
adapted to these busy times.-Philadel
phia Press.
The fire insurance companies neeG
not expect to hear the last of theil
shameless methods in San Francisco
so long as they WEIGH or bubble over
their obligations. They have been gull
ty of the most foolish business policy
cOnceiyable.-New York World.
An English editor says, John Bull
is too slow for trusts?" What is the
difference between being too slow fol
trusts and having the trusts too quick
for you:-New York Mail
SO far as can be ascertained the man
who bought S5,SOO,OO0 worth of cana
bonds for a 2-cent stamp is not invest
ing half that much in Russian securi'
Inquirer.
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