The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1906-12-23

III Olalns the noted EariSldn Jour
nalist, having attempted 20 locate tho
American Government, writes Of his
pcrplcxries)
Washington. T.. S. 18th Dec. 1895
What is ~at government Of these
United State For many d-Sys / have
studied this grand problem. shall
now tell my countrymcn OF France what
! have failed TO learn. ], is with de-
SPAR that l write
Before I have como 20 these United
states have no perpleNity. but now
what shall ! say 10 France? In
France we say: M. Roosevelt is that
government % those ,United States" In
" Washington I do not know. l cannot
tell.
GaNly ] have written To my country
men that NJ Roosevelt has sent his ina
structions To n Congress. But now
sec the Congress snap the finger ~ "
Roosevelt, In affairs Of terrible inl-
portanCe the Congress smiles and turns
20 the little things VI. Roosevelt. in the
chapter l. Of that message. instructed
tho Congress 70 make laws quickly
against the race suicide. The Congress
has done nothing: In the chapter q. NJ
Roosevelt. said. Make a law instantly
10 stop the lynch" Yet the Congress
talks OF ANYTHING evervthing- but not of
the great naE7l OF the lynch. Ten. twelve
twenty Instructions were made by NJ
fNfNferFFiI. each flltf" imperative than
those drherV. Yet the Congress stn
smiles and yawns
For one week trembled. Those
American newspapers filed me with the
dread One said. M. Roosevelt Demands
Reforms one other said. Congress
Gets Its Orders one other said. II s
Up 10 Congress" one other said: Tips
rom Teddy" C-e other said. Million
aires on TIE Rum" one other said.
Trouble Begins in Washington
Yet the Congress did not excite. One
two--three days passed. The law Of the
race suicide did not pass. The law Of
tie lyn~a did not pass. The great mes
sage was r. the pigeon hole, / looked
and listened, agitated extremely. Would
the Congress dare 10 defy the govern
ment? Would 81 be revoi--|-one Many
times I thought l heard the rataplan Of
those drums. the tramp tramp Of the
army toward that Capitol, I shuddered
u think OF those congressional widows.
those senatorial orphans.
Yet nothing has happened. I have dis
appointment and chagrin What shall I
think II NJ. Roosevelt is not the gov
eminent where is that Foyernmente
That is the question
one thing has made great perple1ity.
II il the simQlded spell This thrice inn
lOrtant problem makes those Americans
Npulfl Wli@fN IS LltiT government. In
tho summer. before that supreme tri-
buual meets. NJ Roosevelt issued a de
cree. Let IL be the simplihed spell. 40
word shall be spelled In the difficult man
nor. obey this" Very WelIt Those
newspapers said. "All words must b..
simple. The government must not use
great words This is the order OF NJ.
Roosevelt" Those newspapers did not
change, because they love those great
words. They said. THE government
must now make Itself understood"
When the supreme tribunal meets Il
snaps the finger at N. Roosevelt and the
simplihed spell, The newspapers said.
Beware. this is the government order"
But that supreme tribunal does not read
those newspapers. Those people said
The supreme tribunal deies the govern
rnent, Prepare for revolution But
nothing happens. The supreme tribunal
uses greater words than ever. Where
is the government? All. that is tho ques
ton
And now the Congress Is told of that
government order. Everywhere 1t STUN
bles upon that simplfed spell. What
could II do2 with simple words the Con
gress would be lost, How could II All
the Record Congressional Yet IL Is the
governments order, At the last one
Congressman with the genius said What
IS the government"
Those colleagues OF his were astound-
ed il was the new question. They said:
What is the government Is 1t not NJ.
ROOSEVELT
He said. That supreme tribunal snaps
the finger at the simplified spell. Yet
N Roosevelt does nothing. so those
people begin to say: What Is the gov
ernment?' But If the Congress obeys the
simpnhed spell those people win say;
"Ah! Now we know what is the gov
eminent. II is NJ. Roosevelt" Let us
snap the finger. too. and nobody viii
know what is the government
The reply: "Hurrahi Let US snap the
finger"
Again ] tremble Those newspapers fill
me With the agitation. One says: sim
plihed Spell Strangled. but Strugglingi'
one other says: Congress Contemptuous
Roosevelt Roused.' One other says.
WAR OF the Words-Wowi" One other
SAYS: Where Is that Government Now?'
An, that Is the question. ] ask many
savants, many doctors OF the jurispru-
denoe. but they say: You ask too much.
} NJ Clami We cannot tell where is that
government yet. We, too, are looking
Tor 81"
To-day I was stricken with that brilliant
ideal shall ask NJ. Twain, that thrice
renowned litterateur!
M. Twain" said l. ''wiIl help me! He
knows most things that other men do
! not lie shall tell me why that simpli-
| fed spell does make the government dis
/ appear"
found NJ. Twain in bis hotel He was
| In his bed. smoking the grand pipe. read
Ing that Ladies' Home Journal I said: