davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-13
JINCLES AND JESTS
THE FATE Of AnBROSIAL BILL
CoPyRIohr
1905 ~
LIZ hAhCy

had goat. daintyp VOW with Kansas
whiskers its throat, and solid s
She got Christmas Wesley sbboth
had been good and never broke rule.
pet Abrosial euphonious
cause he would the ozone fill with profound
When walk
ship would behind her stalk body guard
look of Beezebub DER Bilys
The suffering wageea
things going calmly till Amboisl bued
He stood Dame johnson her head kicking
laid Dame Mason II dead all limp a
The better half he hit through
action which must admit rude. indeedl
The suffering through
William strewed the membership
Then
him there he'd have to stay until the crack o dooml
many suffering
Mary hel chamber and found Ambroa deadl
The held
of his me these startling things he
cake of soap,
A hair brush and
efreckle
pins in box,
A of elon-
A French heel SHOE
To feed the skn
A pair of combs,
Some crmsons
Complexion
Fancy at
A FRAT.
beyond question,
amented Bill went dead from too much indigestion.
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-13

A New York paper says: The
czar, alarmed, stoops to curry favor
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-13

An Iowa young man is being sued
for $4,000 damages by his ex-best
girl tor letting her fall out of buggy
in which he had taken her for
moonlight ride. Tne stupid chump
should be compelled to pay the claim
in full with heavy interest from the
date of the accident.
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-13

Soihih6 OoSh
At brewery fire, at Oklahoma
City, the engines squirted beer on the
flames and soon put them into a
drunken stupor
A few years ago the Kansas farm
ers carried long faces and short
purses. They now carry long purses
and short faces
Wonder if at times Nick Long
worth does not feel just tinge Of
fear that after February nth he may
be known only as Alice Roosevelt's 8
husbandf
Roosevelt has surrendered, says
II Texas paper. The editor has been
misinformed 1t was his daughter
who surrendered. The pater familias
yet stands pat.
A monument of stones was piled on
the grave of "Old Tabby." Utah
Indian who died recently. His
tribesmen seem to have feared the cat
might come back.
What do ycu most like about
me3" Colorado girl asked her
steady. His silent reply was more
eloquent than spoken words He just
put EN- about her.
Professor Starr, of Chicago, ha.
gone to Africa to study the habits OF
the cannibals. Let us hope the ma
tives may not accord him too literal
welcome to their midst.
Andrew Carnegie gave Congress
man Sultzer twenty four quarts OF
pure Scotch whisky for Christmas.
Whisky and Sultzer. That comes
blessed near having a familiar sound.
The editor of The Christian Advo
cate was robbed of $25 by pick
pocket the other day, and because OF
his Christian standing dared not give
voice to the thoughts that surged in
his brain and clamored for vocal
utteranre.
A New York paper says: THE
al En-
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-13

Wonder if at times Nick Long
worth does not feel just tinge Of
fear that after February 18th he may
be known only as Alice Roosevelt's 8
husband1
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-13

Roosevelt has surrendered, says
II Texas paper. The editor has been
misinformed 1t was his daughter
who surrendered. The pater familias
yet stands pat.
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-13

A monument of stones was piled on
the grave of "Old Tabby," Utah
Indian who died recently. His
tribesmen seem to have feared the cat
might come back.
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-13

The said he all question
dead indigestion.
The Glenwood post., 1906-01-13

What do you most like abou
me3" Colorado girl asked he
steady. His silent reply was NOR
eloquent than spoken words. He jus
put EN- about her.
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28

/ - |5.. -,
WAN { tne soreeu Cneese A1m1teo.
(Rudyard Kipling at the Whee1.)
We ,eave o1d earth With a shr,e,r ~ ,,,rth
and the sorsaI hlaties mi i.swtng - i 80
vV,th sfar-fnnp .vhoon and a srac,a,
& 4 awoon like the curve of a demons
Wing
rha IY-t,,he cor III ss.r, 49,, ,.r+s ~
- tr,,nnnad tho h,ira hohs+ev
And We law coursa ynr tI,a NOON. mole
S,so -, 10 sr;n.s. - .ha ar,,I',- rya,e pa'e
'--''->'
Our Captain links. Of the Sky Marines. II
glued to the upper keel,
!.
Kipling at the wheel. sa VI q -
Old Stxty-Two with her colloid crew is
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28
Simple Larceny.

The colored physician not havin9
been able to, locate the malady and
check it, q white physician was called.
After looking at the patient short
while, the white doctor inquired:
Did DR.. Jones take your tempera-
ture?''
And the old colored auntie ans
.swered: "Ah don't know, sab; All
amt missed nothin. 'cept NAH
watch. '-Lippincott's Magazine.
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28
INTERESTING DOCUMENT.
Parchment Obtained in 1fexico Show.
ing Evidences Of Ex-
treme Age.

A New York lawyer who lately 70
turned from Guadalajara has brought
with him document which, II authen-
tic. 10 valuable beyond price. 3, It waa
secured from man in the Thieves
Market, Ii Guadalajara, who was Il.
norant of its value and had no infor.
nation to give concerning its history
beyond the fact that he bought from
q woman shout q. year ago. It ID q
parchment showing evidences Of ex-
treme age and bears IN Latin the sen
tence which was pronounced upon
Jesus Christ by Pontius Pilate, which
translated reads: #s,a ~
81, Pontius PLATE, here In Jerusae
lem, regent of the Roman empire,
judge and condemn. to death Jesus,
known as the poor Nazarene. and 81
the nation Of Galilee, a seditious man,
opposed to the law and to our Senats
and the great Emperor Tiberius
Caesar. And determine that his
death shall be upon the cross, fastened
with nails, AZ ID the custom with
criminals. Because here joinsand cons
gregate each day many men, rich and
poor, who have not desisted to provoke
itumult throughout Judea, proclaimlng
this man the Son Of God and King OF
Israel, and threatening ruin to this
noted city Of Jerusalem and its tenn
pie and this sacred empire. And be-
cause he had refused tribute to Caes.
ar and has had the boldness to enter
with palms Of triumph md . great
multitude into the city of jerusalem
and into the sacred temple Of Solomon.
n therefore command the first cen.
turion, named Quinto Cornelio. to re-
move from the city Of Jerusalem this
offender, putting upon him such robes
as shall make him known to all, and
the same cross on which he IL to- be
scrucified, and conducted through the
streets; between two robbers who also
have been condemned to death for
thefts and murders, in this mannef
making an example which all people
and all criminals shall heed. And /
further command that the public crier
shall proclaim his offenses as here ex.
pressed, and that after having trav-
ersed the public streets he shall be taken
by the port Of Pegora, now known as
Antonina, to the mountain Of Calvary,
where 1t is the custom to execute all
crimincls. There he shall be crucifed
on the same cross that he has carried,
and his body shall be left hanging be-
A.. n n
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28
Editorial Rsbulke.

! That people can read daily papers
for years and never pay any attention.
to the, formation OF words ana SEM
tences surprises us. Some people have
devoted more time and energy to
learning to chew tobacco than to edu-'
eating. themselves, and some know all
about how to run the government and
yet could not spell the names Of half
Of the states correctly. osawatomis
(Kan.) Globe. ssss.i w
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28

there may be suppuration and eVacua-
tion outward, or through the bowels.
or the suppurative materials may be
absorbed.
Infections Should Be Given.-n the
Inflammation is caused by accumula-
items OF feces in the caecum, large
injections Of warm water or infusion
Of spearmint (three or four, quarts in
amount) should be given, and repeat
ed II necessary until free excavations
are obtained. When inflammation Of
the appendix exists place over the af.
fected region a. large and hot mullen
leaf poultice, containing considerable
lobelia herb, and sprinkied lightly
with ginger. and administer by the
mouth teaspoonful doses Of an infu.
sion Of lady slipper, one teaspoonful.
and lobelia, half q teaspoonful to .
cup Of boiling water every half hour.
Sustain the strength by broths or
matted milk or other liquid foods.
Enjoin perfect Quietude In bed. and
move the bowels by injection. never
using cathartics. $4. ts ss
Men are more subjected to appen-
dicftis than women. Children and old
people are more liable to have it than
persons III the prime Of life. Persons
who eat heartily after q long fast, or
while the intestines are empty, after
having used a cathartie. are subject
to it, because the severe strain caused
BY the cathartic has weakened the ca
nal throughout Es
Avoid constipation, gluttony, and In
dtgestible substances, drink plenty Of
water, and after fast or cathartic eat
sparinglys Of easily digested food, and
don't be in q hurry to have an opera
ton performed. sf
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28
It is much easier to overthrow
a monarchy than to make a de-
mocracy 1T to live in.
Copyright. lsoe, BY Joseph B. Bowles.)

& a monarchy than to make a de-
mocracy f1t to live in.
The rights Of man have always
!, had fascination for me, and
only the growing consciousness
that to admit such a theory
would swamp the whole race by
] swamping the high interests OF
the few, has restrained me and
kept me cool and sunpartisan.
This is the biography OF man,
! the reasoning animal-the crea-
ture haunted by an idea: Born,
ate, slept, died."
She And do I say common
place things?
He-Ocasionally-just to vary
the monotony, I suppose.
The man who continually
!. seeks women's society is q man
: who recognizes his own inca
pacity to engage the interest and
attention of men.
49, feN
A woman's brain often con
tains as many good thoughts and
ideas as that of a mans; but
her trouble is in retaining them.
Her brain IS not so like a soap
dish as mans, but more near
ly resembles q hat plate the
gravy runs out and does notzget
a chance to scongeal or "jell."
Hence the general verdict that,
she has no logic or concentration
of thought. What flows OF a
woman's brain, however, Is often
s1perior 20 what remains N the
mans soapdish; though, of
course, skim mix in the cup
! board is Of more value than the !
cream on the sidewalk.
es s&$s 8BF@eg9Y sri EgF#Yz
It would be a very wise world
IL al the people in 1t we're as
Wise al Shakespeare's fools and
worldlings.
. = ~
The pay Of great thinker is
thought.
o,A1rrDD AcrprpNruA Aprr
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28
constituttonal Iimttations.

There can be a constitutional amend
ment for the Regulations Of divorce, but
no constitutional amendment can pre-
vent foolish marriages. st. Louis POST
Dispatch. 81 81 &
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28

All communications to the Home
Health Club should be sent to Home
Health Club or DR.. David Reeder, La
porte, Ind, giving name and address
in full and at least four cents in post.
age. All readers of this publication
ara at liberty to inquire for any in-
formation pertaining to the subject Of
health and at any time.
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28

At the recent Marx Twain dinner in
NewsYork Il was interesting to watch
''welf known authors sizing one an
other up for the drst time Hardly
anybody knew anybody. But New
York isn't London, and will not be for
Z good many years. 81, 95s,ssl !
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28
Sker,kicixu,,., !,

Many man who isn't quite sure %
the Bible may have unlizaited faith il
an almanac.
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28
rhe Rsal Ton Lawyo1nu,. :

The Real Tom Lawson.
~ There are many curious differences
between authors as they really are and
authors as popular fancy imagfnes
them. Reading the works Of F. Hop
Smith, for example. one pictures the
author as tln ana slender. like light
house, with 4 smooth, dark face; where
as, Mr.. smith Is built more like 1
brewery and appears two-thirds mus
tache Y
]. So with Americas foremost man 0f
letters, Thomas w. Lswson. .ofs Boston.
One thinks Of him as an alert, sharp.
eyed, short haired. nervous, frenzied
man, who divides his time between
scrutinizing TIM market bulletin board
and debating his mastery essays on
flnance to- two stenographers at~once.
Indeed. II 'was Sins the stock market
that the writer looked for Mr.. Law
SON on a recent visit to- Boston and
looked in vain. We then made pill
srimaxe to the authors residence, and
found him ii hts quiet study, sur
sounded by his beloved books. Il q
The real Tom Lawson is long-haired.
y 4 II 2 = > i II Il u 3
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28

OF poet. His wonderful essays are
not dashed OF as one imagines, at
fever heal, and with utter disregard
for literary style-they s-e as patient
ly wrought as 'Steyenson's. He works
in the same sad sincerity as the hand
that rounded Peters dome. It is not
an uncommon thing for the stock mar
ket to change 400 points while Mr..
Lawson 10 struggling with . single
sentence. Many an elusive adjective
his cost him half q million. dollars.
Fortunes have been won and lost while
he selected the apt word, the precise
metaphor needed for his purpose.
When Mr.. Lawson once wrote that he
made the System, look like last year.
straw hat In the whirlpool OF Niagara.
the picturesque phrase seemed like
one flung OF in the white. heat Of COM
position. But the original manuscript
exhibits as many changes as Keats
"Endymion";: the straw hat line was
rewritten half dozen times before the
fastidious author was satisfied. The
Editors of Everybody's Magazine have
great difficulty in separating Mr.. Law
son from his manuscript Naturally,
they value most the facts in his month
" stories; while Mr.. Lawson's main
concern is, not the facts. but fault
less literary expression of them.
Thomas w Lawson, as his friends
who know him best agree, is probably
the most impracticable man in Ameri-
can letters. "If he had a practical
side," they say, "he would be able to
make great deal Of money" ssI
None Of Ernest Seton's Animal He.
roes" is wearing a Carnegie medal;
but the cinnamon bear that Mr.. Seton
once read his manuscript to deserves
ope Ill. 80.
Three thousand Volumes taken by
Queen GATHERINGS troops from the
Warsaw library to ST. Petersburg have
only recently been returned. At one
cent day per volume the fines ought
to be considerable.
s-'sss~e The Six Best Sellers.
Our reports from lit junk shops in
the United States show that during the
month of Decembers the popular nov
els fetching more than two cents a
pound were as follows: ws:....,........s..........y
1. Rulers Of Kings. (Atherton.)
2. Dorothy Vernon. (Major.)
3. The Puppet Crown. (McGrath.)
s {. The Eeternal City. lCaine.l
S. Dri and I. (Bacheller.)
Among superfiuous items Of literary
Information Is the statement that Miss
gcorelli has e double chin. 81
The newspaper headline, "shaw's
New Plan for Ready Money" was .
bit pulling; but It turned out to be
Secretary Of the Treasury Shaw, not
our old friend. G. Bernard, with new
play on 20 per cent. royalty. zgsts3
~@
Publishers desiring to purchase man.
uscripts OF Mrs. Edith Wharton here
after are requested to leave their Of.
ferS with the Dutler. .s,ztz. &ssg. ii
v14a
Bliss Carman. the Canadian sapho,
now dresses his hair in the shape Of .
japanese pergola. II Is very effective.
t~s&
Booth Harrington whose deserips
tons Of Italian sunsets, at ten cents
per word, are familiar to lovers OF i'm;
aginative literature, Is in Capri tor the
winter, to see what an Italian sunset
is really like. "It's great" he sends
word ON a souvenir post card.
= e$@t@S& = @z'ss YEs
ag Gibson has left us. and Roosevelt
will not accept another term. The fu.
ture Of Art and Government in this
country is saturated In gloom.
AN UNRELIABLE MNEMoNlc
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28
AN UNRELIABLE MNEMoNlc
Interesting Illustrations Of What
Psychologists Call place
Memory"

second -hands store one day Miss Browne
noticed a new member Of the family,
b little girl of three or four, playing
near the shop door. She knew 1t was q
Swerdloff, for she recognized the red
print dress and blue bib-apron gart
worn BY three older feminine swerd-
Ions nye out Of the seven days of the
week. M E
Good afternoon, Mr. swerdlon, .
said MISS Browne. This is q little
girl I have never seen before. What
is her sname?' t
'HeeFe nam?" stammered the father,
with aslook Of dazed helplessness.s
"Heere nam?' s4ss,ss sk .tss .s1asss
And again he glanced uneasily about
as II searching for q clew to the an
sMer. 2 ~ =
svel1, Mees Prowne, not kno' all
times my shildren's names eef you
yump me qvick at like dat. Put eef
you walt teel l call heem all unit shtant
dame each van NIT heem pack pehint
heemself put pevor hees peeger van
vat coomes pehint heem cen pegness
put pevor heem cen year olt, dane
tells you qvick dees leetle van hees
nam. Pnt ven dey alon' pc shtant py
damesel, onlee dane reemempeer not
hees pehint-shtanter unit hees pevor-
shtanter. unit SO I sreemempeer not.
hees nam. Put ven dey pc a1I shtantet
In hees line. so''-and Mr.. Swerdlof1
deftly indicated stairstep series Of
imaginary heads dane / say heem
;Qyick ofer- fYakey, Ikey, Sarah, Re-
pecca, Apey,' unteel COON to dees van
heere, unit dane tell hes nam qvick
"a. you as veil. =
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28

Three Thousand Volumes taken by
Queen GATHERINGS troops from the
Warsaw library to St. Petersburg have
only recently been returned At one
cent day per volume the fines ought
to be considerable
St. Tammany farmer., 1906-04-28


room, and q that little valve Is very
sensitive, It at once closes and refuses
to open for some time. More food is
eaten and more waste is forced down
until the little valve again tries TO-
discharge its contents, but still no
room has been made, and again lt .be-
comes closed, more tightly than be-
fore, and now the trouble begins. A
little cold is taken, and the little
pouch becomes heated the inflamma-
ton extends to the little appendix,
and 1t relaxes until some Of the fecal
matter is crowded into It.. The symp-
toms whiche follow are nearly always
the same. ss1 $50
M Symptoms.-First Of all will be .
very sharp pain in the region Just
above the right groin, and intense suf-
fering upon the pressure or movement.
At that point examination will reveal
tenseness, and soon )considerableE
swelling beneath which may be found
IN oval tumor, and the whole abdo-
men will become enlarged. The pa,
tient will be found on the right side
with limbs drawn up to relieve. all
tension Of the muscles In the affected
region. Constipation is marked, and
the urine is partially suppressed;
often there is vomiting Of offensive
material, having q fecal odor, the
pulse Is wiry and frequent. the counte-
nance distressed and the voice feeble. !,
Il the appendix alone Is infiamed
there will be no fecal odor to the vom-
tied material. and the swelling and
.tumor will be less pronounced, al.
though the pain win be intense. The
danger In these cases lies In the LA
.bility Of suppuration and perforation
into the abdominal cavity. Sometimes
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-24
'[H7A II p E r g
Ii Ii b D D k S "
T>@he Gentleman
Ragnnam
BV Wilbur Nesbit

This is story told by boy in
a country town. 1t is funny story
in spite Of itself, but the fun is only
one part of it.
There is an amateur boy de-
tective in it who is humorous
wonder. And a girl poet.
The way things work out is Just
the way things went when most OF
rs lived in country towns. Except
that perhaps we never saw a lot OF
nice girls try the barefoot Kneip
cure in a stubby field.
If the man who can make other
people laugh is a blessing to hui
mainly, there ought to be statue
erected to the author of The Cen
tlcman Ragman.' 1t should be lit
orally and hilariously a bowling
success New York Times.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-24
YEGGMEN USE DYNAMITE.
Loot Safe of the Standard Oil Com
PAW.

UTICA, N. Y, October PA couple Of
"yeggmen" blew the safe in the cal Of
fee of the Standard Oil Company early
this morning and, besides getting away
with over $4,000 worth of loot, caused a
fire in the building which wrought over
$500 damage The descent of the robbers
on the oil companys plant was carefully
planned and evidently carried out with
out a hitch. They effected an entrance
into the boiler house, where they secured
Implements with which they forced a way
into the Office building.
Then, drilling holes in the safe, they
inserted enough explosive and fuse and
retired to a nearby alley while the ex-
plosion took place. The large SAT. was
wrecked, and although the noise OF the
blow-up must of necessity have been
terrific, no one has been found who heard
the explosion.
The yeggmen pocketed $235 in cash and
$4,000 worth of negotiable securities
belonging to Manager George A Beatty,
and after cutting the telephone and eiec-
trio light wires entering the building lied.
Within few minutes a .passer-3y no
ticed the building was on fire and turned
in an alarm. The robbery was not dis
covered until the firemen arrived. There
is no clew to the thieves.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-24

orally. Delegates were from Baltimore,
Wilmington. New Castle, Elkton, Salisbury,
Newark and Washington and vicinity Mrs.
Joseph T. Kelly presided at the home ses-
SONS and Mrs. Wallace Radcliffe acted as
chairman for the foreign committee in the
unavoidable absence of the president, Mrs.
Turner.
A luncheon was served by the ladies Of
Fourth Church in the gymnasium during
the recess.
The societies met in annual session at the
Church of the Covenant at $50 today, when
the usual reports were made. Mrs. Kelly
presided Miss White spoke of the work in
the Presbyterian schools of Porto Rico,
which she recently visited
A large audience of young peopie assem-
bled for the conference at New York Ave-
nue. Church last evening under the leader
ship of Miss Abercromb:e,> secretary for
young people, and took part in the proceed
ings Mission study work received hearty
Endorsement
The rally held at 7:45 in the same church
was presided over by Mrs. D. E. Wiber,
foreign synodical secretary for young peo-
pie. Miss Abercrombie, Mr.. ]. E. McAfee
and Rev. ]. S. Gaze were the speakers.
! Music was led by Mr.. J. H. Hunter and the
devotional exercises by Mrs. Radcliffe.
Mrs. Thorpe will speak at the session of
the foreign society this afternoon.
Notes Of Woman's Meeting.
Mrs Hamlin, president of the Home
Presbyterial Society of Washington city,
is resting after her long european tour,
with her sister at Rensselaer,, N Y. Her
place on the program at the home session
of the woman's synodical meeting will be
taken by Mrs /. S. Luckett, first vice pres
ident.
Mr. j. Ernest McAfee, who spoke at the
Y P rally at the New York Avenue
Church last night, belongs to the Park
College family of that name, and has re-
Gently been made an assistant secretary
| of the board of home missions.
Rev. j. S. Gale went out a missionary
| to Korea In 1883. His books on that coun-
| try are authorities He is supported by
| the Sunday schools Of this presbytery.
| Miss S. Marcela Brown, an officer of
| the Phila lelphia board of foreign missions,
| is one Of If not the, youngest woman to
| ever occupy so distinguished and respon-
| sible a postion-but she Is evidently mas
ter of all the facts in the case.
| Mrs. Charles Newbo.d Thorpe. president
/ of the Philadelphia board of foreign mis-
! sions who spoke at the Church of the
| Covenant yesterday afternoon. is woman
| of unusually strong personality and Is
| classed as al e.ocuent speaker
| Mrs d. E. WILDER fills three offices,
| which illustrate her capacity for work. She
| is secretary for Young People in the
! synodical foreign society, in the Presby-
| terial Home Society and in the Presbyter-
| ial Foreign Society.