New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-09-14
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

| Should 1.-THE Memphis News-Scimitar' adopt the
simplifed spelling system the first reform It would
have to introduce would be 70 spell the latter half
of its hyphenatsd name ''Simitar."
Village Dame-Ah. do mind it when were
,Tourist-But my good woman. that was nearly
Village Dame 1unabashed)-Dear. dear! How time
do hy!-Punch.
New York is the second great seaport Of the
world. In 1893 over 100000 tons Of imports and
$4,000 tons OF exports were cleared through New
York Harbor London is the greatest seaport. ex-
ceeding New York in imports. though not In ex-
ports. Antwerp and Hamburg are third and fourth
respectively.
The Professor-Now. suppose you had been called
to patient with hysterics-soms one. for in
possible TO stOp-whas would you dor ,,,..-..,
Bits.
Mice are employed 70 give warnings OF danger
on submarine boats. Should there be the least leak
age Of naphtha. the mice give warning by inces-
SAINT squeaks. they have great dislike for the
odor of that liquid. In the British navy allow
ancs is made for feeding the mice on submarine
boats.
interest in anatomy and always drank in informa-
ton about the various parts Of the body most
SefEsayy oa aad DAY said he ohsr rs know Where
FLYER is but where is my bacon?'-Harpers
Weekly.
Comparatively few persons know that ringing
bell ruins IT, That is. bell has definite length
of life. and after many blows will break A
s6O-pound bell struck blows OF 17s foot pounds OF
force. broke after u0OO blows. 4 4.OoO-pound bell
broke after 1900 blows Of $50 foot pounds force
II say. mamma" asked little Tommy, do fairy
mo. dear, not always" replied mamma: they
sometimes begin with My love. I have been de-
tanned at the Office o-night."-Glasgow News
A banknote that passed through the Chicago fire
Is one Of the curios preserved in the Bank OF Eng
land. The paper was consumed. but the ashes held
together and the printing is quite legible. and it
is kept under glass. The bank paid the note
Putting 1t on the FIour.-'I want to complain OF
the flour you sent me the other day." said Mrs
what was the matter with It. maam?' asked
'i 1T was tough. Ny husband simply wouldn't eat
the biscuits I made with it-"-Philadelpha Ledger
A fire alarm was turned in the other day In Ber-
lin for a swallow caught by the leg the edge Of
the roof Of a high building. The fremen reared
ladder and released the bird
THE HEN BIRD.
Behold
The Hen bird
The modest mistress OF the barnyard,
The s saSSie fa4 sos;siper
And producer OF fSUit
The renowned originator OF the prehistoric
The creator of the sunny side up"
The purveyor OF the rare delicacy
Which accompanies
Ham and
The celebrated inventor Of the lump Of
INDIGESTION known as
Hard boiled
I salute you,
Take of my hat 20 you.
I have met your COld-stOrage children
Ancient and modern,
Fresh from the storL they are
Delicious
But lying forgotten and in Gisuse
Many days. they are beyond
Peradventure.
May your days be enlightened,
May YOU walk in the ways OF the inspired.
And day may you learn
That the mission OF true AsnhoOd
VIII be fulfilled
When you lay
POaChed egg
On buttered toast
Fresh
Every
Morning-John Quill. In Technical World Maya
zine.
A story is going the rounds OF the clubs Of
Chicago millionaire who ordered a replica OF the
Venus OF Milo to be delivered at his home, When
the case arrived and opened. the millionaire
discovered there were no arms, and threatened to
bring action against the railway company for
damages. The company cent official TO inquire
into the matter. found that the arms missing
and paid.-The Bystsnder.