Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-03-04

flo this column will be answered an ures.ic-.
eulrers should write on ane side Of ne paper only
and Address their letters 20 'uncic Jasper.' Star
be delayed for a week or two Consequently Il
may De advisable for al questioners TO watch this
column carefully
MATHEsfATIcAL--ItH Harry has eleven
raspberry tsrts and John takes one from
him and gives him four times the remain
ing number In apple turnovers. how many
will Harry have left OF each7 Ave don't
know Harry's capacity. Try again. Math.
TABS-while passing the main door of
the House OF Representatives the other day
/ heard noise similar to that produced by
wet Roman candle when ignited. What
was It? A-The Honorable Nathan Hale
of Tennessee was addressing the Speaker
for the first time since he entered Con-
gress Embarrassment tendeth to shutters.
Umbrellas were in demand IN Hsle's imme-
date vicinity.
EXPERIMENTATION am getting
salary of xs5 month. Would you advise
me to get married? A.-Far be II from us.
Compressed air is filling but not particular
ly nutritious
LOUIS-After all other means OF coaxing
the reluctant slider have failed. take a
currycumb and agitate the countenanee
for several moments. When the subsoh has
been laid bare apply an ointment composed
of 1 ounce powdered sandstone. drachrns
pulverized drawing pencils and pint OF
washing blue. The face will show re-
markable change by morning.
CONvENTIONAI.--w Is the proper
manner in which to leave the presence OF
the Vice President after an interview? A.
Spit on the floor and skate out.
sTRIyING.-we are going to have
party at my house Tuesday evening. How
can 1 manage so that my six -months-oid
baby will not disturb the entertainment
A-Wrap the infant In sunday news
paper The Star preferred. place In mar
ket basket and suspend from the Kitchen
window sill by stout hook. THIS method
is guaranteed. We have tested 1t at nome
RITRAL-How can l determine the num-
Der of eggs an average hen lays In Year,
A-Purchase an average hen. save the eggs
and count them. We have TO answer some
mighty simple questions. Nothing personal.
Rural.
SWEET SIXTEEN.-I want your advice,
Uncle Jasper Is IL proper for my beau TO
kiss me on the veranda7 A.-You're lit
tie hazy as to locality, little one. but Wen
think 1t over. A diagram would help some
ANATEITR.-I want to give my wife an
allowance but / have just been married
and don't know what amount TO aecioe
upon Kindly give me your ADVICE, A.
Hang your trousers over the back OF CHAIR
in your bed room. Your wife VIII TX her
own allowance. This method is much more
satsfactory-to the wife
sTARTLED-whle at the Capitol the
other day I saw old gentleman IN
homespun suit chatting with several mem
bers Of Congress. The air sneiiee OF SUI
phur Who was 1t? A--From the latter
norton of your description We have no
trouble In recognizing Uncle Joe Cannon
the Speaker of the House
BIBLIOPHILE.-who was the greatest
violin player of any age? A.-Nero, ne
caused SO much agony among his nelshoors
that one OF them started a fire to make nina
quit. The report that Nero heid the ihateH
Is erroneous,
HISTORIAN-Whow was the most absent
minded man in the world? Ave are not
sure but Daniel Webster was a close sec
ond Dan once Skinned up the lightning
rod to the third story and went down the
stairs to let himself in the front door. Web.
had been attending night session OF Con
gress The worst we ever did was TO try 90
open the front door with corkscrew. Been
up against IT. His?
XP F-A friend tells me that March is
a bad month in which to get married. is
this so? A.-Your friends first name must
be Solomon. The other bad months range
from April to February, inclusive. Only
sense of duty induces US to answer that
question. as we've got to keep this issue of
The Star out of the house.
TAXPAYER heard a man say some
thing the other day about the landiorcs
delight" What did he mean? A-Fe 5ruary.
Son, ebody must be paying your REM
Take.
ETHEL-A gentleman friend-him ana
me are engaged-has presented me with n
perfectly beautiful dorg But l don't IKE
animals. How can L get rid of II without
Hurting his feelings? A.-Ktss the dog on
the nose nineteen times in succession when
your gentleman friend is calling on You,
The animal VIII be poisoned within the
week.
FRENZIED-Is II proper to attend an
2 fternoon tea clad I'm spats? A.-And
few other things, yes. Spats by them
selves are not la mode Just now.
UNCLE JASPER.