davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13
Dry Goods cls,s w. Arrested.

Macon. ia. MAY ~ Dats uordon.
dry Er-pds clerk a. the DannsfbsrE
cOmpabys store here Waa taken Into
custody by ra'Fplmab Colsy aud
michel under harEs oi stsaliRG
ebihos from the store rhsY lOoksd
him up a. police station and had q
case ~ larceny made iis -lli oct q
hra0Es before Recorder Nottingham
The arrest ramg az result ~ com
plaiats lOigsd by mrmbsfs - The hFm
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13
PEOPLE OF RUSSIA
TAKEOHTMISTIC VIEW
Of Historical Event of the Car
Meeting His SUBJ ects.
THE NEW COUNCIL is OPENED
Constitutional Democrats Demand Am.
nesty, Reorganization OF Labor Laws
and Of the Army; Disbsndina OF
Cossaeks, and Equal Rights to All.

ST. Petersburg, May II, ll:tj u, IN.
Tho impression left by Fridays his.
toric events, is on the whole one OF
optimism. Even the radical papers
assume rather turtful tone The
Rech, ORGAN Of the Constitutional Dem.
ocrats and now the mos powerful pa.
per II Russia, while not cunCvUling
It's I'll appointment at the fact )ha; the
cNpcct,d amnesty was no. slau;cd, on
the over hand eNpressc It, satislac.
ton tnl, HI enr ,ror d.l not use the
word "nutocraCy."
l. regards his maJcS'ys speech as
an afroit refusal to grant any further
concessions. leaving tho fundamental
Jaw ~ the platform Of the government
The Constitutional Democrats, how
ever, are IN nOwise dlswayrd at the
prospect uf having n suugElc, and
their efforts will be directed to fore
ing general political amnesty from the
unwilling hands of the emperor
one Of the striking caauEc, today
Is the appearance " the Onlcial Mes.
scnrnr, which for days and weeks had
been appearing each mOruinE with col.
umn after column 81 ukascs and nom
nations after the bureaucracy. fever
ishly sought 10 get their goods In out
OF the wet" Win the assembling ~
parliament the end has come M, A
signlc ukasc or nomination Was print
I'd today. The only Official announcer
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

Rome. May H. ~ lao 9uclnll-.
mrmb'r, - tho chamber ~ dapu.lr.
have rcatgncI a. a rrsulr ~ The Fufus
al ~ toe chamber IA dlscuaa the bin
presented ny lHrlf party, providing for
the regulation ~ the use ~ arms on
the part ~ the police and ihe troops.
and have issued IN address "a the
country During the day q largely
attended meeting VI strikers vas held
IA the coliseum Socialists ana dsp
u'ies delivered lnnAmmatory speeches
and n rraoluilun protesting against tho
use ~ arms against the people vas
adopted Later collisions bslwacn
the strikers and The police and the
troops TOOK place, and several hours
elAps"i before demonstrators wsre
nnally dispersed
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13
Must 1e-lant crops.

Valdosa, Ca. May l2.-Fred BAN
bels. ul t.Is cay. has returned from a
visit 10 his naval stores looa ion near
Lenox, In Bcrrien county and says
that the dsSnaGe in that section from
the severe hails,orm which passed
over the country a few days ago has
tcen greatly undeFestlnated. He says
that the damage on his place from the
vindblown trees will be- FULLY $4,000.
and that in some sections the bark
was beaten from pine trees and crops
C''erly ruined The storm covered a
q rip about miles wide Throughout
that section all crops will have TO be
replanted.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13
Commissions, fixes Bond FOR Two

NAldosia. Ca. May ~ Charlra
Richter. o young man from Colqull,
county WA artaiguod before United
eN7s Commisslou,r II T. rowcll In
tHib city on n charge ~ lllIrl' dlstlll
Ink Ilis bond Vas nSrd ~ 500.
which he gave f1r hia appearance ~
the next term ~ tho tinted States
district court here Sarah Mack.
alias Fannie Glenn. . negroes ~ DPlh
bridge. was also given hearing be-
tore the commission IN the charge ~
using tho mails 10 dsfraad. aud was
sent 10 Savannah Tor imprisonment IN
default ~ $500 bobd n IL said
that the Nomas used a fictitious nafn1
to secure i!s worth 81 medicine from
female specialist
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13
DRY Men Carry PvlassI.

HawkinsviIl". Ga. May ~ The
Erca'c,t prpNihittnu victory ever
kroun 20 PlIas,i county vas Won GA
Thursdar. Whi-h means isr abolish
Yneni ~ iar dispensafy system Coz
servativc cr,Wa'"s giVe The ptphlb,
tionis;s majority 81 nsaf!s Coz votes
The cgAt sas hard uBui O'Clock.
Whea "a v.isiy mea rrallfst Thea,
utter defra ana practically EAne W
Tnree fourfh, - 80 ~t'" c,'ilens -
HaWkiasule vr.. - aTs.lH TO 'ank
No suca clec'lat l,s over bs-I EsyWs
here.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13
Contents OF Vault Intact.

San Francisco, May ~ The main
vault of the auditors ONCE has been
opened and everything contained
therein was found to be intact Til,
vault contained all OF the valuable pa.
pcrs and books 81 the auditors ONCE.
including the bonds issued Tor 1000,
900 for specific permanent improve
ments. such as school buildings. the
acquisition Of parks. etc Besides
these. all OF the official bonds Of the
present city officials. license tags.
books, vouchers. journals. cash books
and Hnaacla. accounts with the city
tax collector. treasurer and state
comptroller and treasurer were found
intact
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

Nashville. May ~ The Soutksfa
Railway company has sisd . deed Of
trust in The pfare d the coan;y regis
ter q Hami'ioa county. Tennessee
amounting - $50 900 80 TO the stasd
ara Ot eUmTaay. ~ Ssu ToTk. Tor The
papOss 81 sccaTihx the issasne@ u
bobds n pave The uAJ ioT sIishsi.s
i'apro'en"s's 70 b. HsAAs By The sys
TEN a. AAs Sstn ahhogncsd
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13
Ford Was ESonerated.

Macon, Ga, Mag l2,--James Ford
will not be detained for the killing
OF ErneS, Coins. Coroner iouns =
investigation resulted In n verdict Of
Jus ihable homicide Mrs. julius
Coins, the mother OF the dead man;
Mrs, Pearl Coins, his WIFE and two
negroes, laborers on the Ford farm
and J. L. Welch. n neigh5orIng farm
or, testified, and each witness gave an
account which verified the general &c.
counts In which II was announced that
Goins had advanced on Ford with "A
drawn knife. II was stated by eye.
witnesses that Coins broke open halI
door ana the door 10 Furds room In
his attempt TO get AT him.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

ChieaEp NAY ~ loan Alexander
b,sts ahd Wll51r Glen volIVa fsash
"a az agreement IN gUaft spoa the
pfOp,sltiSa foV matual fsDr-ssHiailoa
IN tbs management 1i haaRei4l Affairs
o. Ilpn cay me Do~Is forces 40
Bolh'-a IOha 4 Lewis. While Vonva
hsnsd AistahdsF GfaAEsr rAs third
man3Tr Of tbs eOmmitiss IL a.il -
b. rAfHsaa
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

WasGipE'on May !? Demand bsih 6
made by tho house committee on ap
pruprihtions Tor the estimates for the
work on the Panama cahai 10 earn IN
the work DURING The nest Mccall year.
SecTc'Afy Taft las explained a. tho
committee that u ~iIl be- impossibls
10 submit detailed climates until The
Arrival here ~ Ch!e' Engineer H,e
'ons. uho 10 nos 90 he Wsy from The
iT hmus
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13
Ganha.aLa 10 Inalan..

Indianapolis Ind AAy ~ \ sgs
rial from rs'sftbHrx. lni says ihs,
ivo dis'lhri ssfiha4sks sboess we're
TEL, Asrs .; ~ ~ m haay tsyVis
Jampss from ,hsi' beds IN sriEht The
sA0es' ssFr ts.' hFfu o. - U \
sAorks N-~ss g. sseosAs apart, sna 'As
hfsi shs sss fr.. 81 sya u,41 GAas
It bGhthlbE
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13
Immior.n,s VIII Prove . Boon.

Philadelphia, May ~ We can al.
NIT a million immigrants year for
years. and II they are put Ia the right
place. they will prove a boon Ia the
United States. said immigration Com
missioner Sargent on Thursday night
while discussing the immigration prob.
lem al the semi annual meeting Of the
Philadelphia baptist CITY mission
The American people" he said. are
greatly s'irrci up over the iuiuI ~
immigrants don't think there II any
cause for alarm There will be q mil
lion more ,Ais year Let them come
We want the right Mind u lnml
.="
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13
PonulaiIen Of FLORIDA.

Tallahassee. Fta May ~ The con
sus returns ~ 1905 a. Eivsn oui today
Tor all counties In FotidA except
Dads. Estambia aud Orange. show .
population II White ,o be- git.sss. sad
blAcA. !'IATO. total sss.ss0. Including
rs persons Il other races against tI.
DOo IN 1900. an Increase " 7z.s31 Jaes
h0aTilie's IopaiAtlDH. 1881 Kry
Wet. !o.tss Tampa. sIriu,i,c ~ bsf
suburbs. zlAEI
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13
xsiu o. wa,ps,n.

Darkah. Natal Nay 81 -- TAoassaa,
o. Zaias frya CAirf ksias Kraal are
Frgusr~s - - 90 tsstF wHy - tsis
Csssf HAas sha oBlpeIkl tfusos5s
a. s~tsz sa'r-rd s9-ssfa 20 vsvysai
'ssfr sgtF,aa CEtff kB4. 49, ~
,1frr-ss < slssss'a,a All who IA
--~~a'f1 sr-~t.s3. go p.Assi Re- tsi3 ~
frss. ,1a-s' I.--g Frt&af nansHiar
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

ChiesE3 Ma ~ AseAuee. Danl=,
~ barnham Started FRIDAY f,r s4a
tfaseissS - sgt IN an sdyisDfY rtDae
~ s5'a ne eomnif'-s ~ e.rizeat 'baf
10 blassiag 10 Baiid Eofr gra1iifu,
ci.T % 80 asars 10 l1e 5ae ies..pss ed
b ytts saGHatsss 4si ffs
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

wA,hisEtos. Ma --Msssrs I4or
imSf. 81 iliino,s ia is1h. % Wlsoyn
ain kAs3sIeii 81 l<,4 slAha. and l4S
e. ~ Ais~oari. n.rm era 81 me ftv.
srs ana hafbD' c5sa Hniiies ~ 'As
A0as@ Isfi Yg5aa, az -gRoos for KAA
80 CuJ. n, ioais sol chisaRo 90 q
ssmpaiEn % sGses's3a Toe Larger 40
r'ogsta'tynt fDs Yissfs ssa AAFsssfs
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

IssllmSfr NAy ~ Secretary ,s
;hs %svI Cssriss BE- Gsgts IL ., fas
fv~uvsfsa tres sa fesesi sffaes -
80 ErsFg,s a. 30 10 49, 70 van s.1sf
sns u 70 sah 20 v.l ~ sats - -.
ssms 49, Drs .. s-,iss ~ WAsAtss - "a
ie fsU Akys
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13
Two APE KILLED.;
&c., SEVEN INJURED
In Smashup Between Train And
: Street Car at Chattanooga.
STREET CAR TURNED OVER
Nearly Every Passenger on the Elec.
trio Car Was Bruised, Scratched or
Cut-Conductor Claims He Had Mo-
toned Car To Stop.

Chattanooga, Tenn, May IAN IN.
coming train on the Chattanooga
Southern railroad struck a street car
on the electric line at a crossing near
the city limits Friday morning. Two
men were killed, one fatally injured,
several badly hurt, and nearly every
passenger bruised, cut or scratched.
The car was packed with laboring
men from the suburb Of ST. Elmo, go.
ing TO their work. II was upon the
Chattanooga track when struck, al
though the conductor had gone on
ahead and claims that he had motion.
ed for dead stop, II was struck
near the rear end, turned completely
over, and thrown to one side, parable
with the railroad track.
Abou; the only man on board who
was unhurt was a one.lcggCd cripple
who got of without a scratch.
The dead;
Milton Ranking, contractor.
w s, Perrgo.
Those injured:
Fred Fry, fatally; T ]. Eunlln, head
and leg hurt; Ben Randall, nose cut
on; Robert Justice. body hurt; Frank
Mccoy, hurt on body; William Nc.
NeiIl, nose cut of; Jack Bethel. u
small boy. bead hurt.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

ss.h,lHr Tvsn Mar ~ 54sn q.
LIZ .f Il 10 Nsfass asp
zfa Assa y. - Nsfi0s " 49,
sFfes 90 ere e. rs sHiJa - ~
rat9 ga ast4- = cab tt.-l..s. s
saSE'a, s.I.a s.sH r..t as
ssrIrf
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

wash.urtuu. Ma g.. Arnas-re
meat Tzs aaic =. fle as,o- q 600 e.
tsS;aie comuastr, raHr .fs.ec Er''s7
Issai TIE lavss awe rsE -s
dsciss us4sg tse r. .alAt 1...ssf f.t
blsIsos. wrs rsgc o. ta es' as
Rfli - t1-'iH 20 o. Ptfl ga
lEhlrE T zagi
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

ssw Fsft. asg ~ Csfl sehsfx.
10 gas.tsiat 80 tgfsfE seegstafy ~
the tsssFlof go bs4 ssrs egilieassy
81. - eepsfSi 1saes e. Ess.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

N,p Yo.t. AEvl ~ - Jsgsr sas
lss.s 49, Aat ss~a 3 u4sa 10 EFlg
- s~rs-st aseE "a ~ aRsrfrsxei ~
- Rnssi sssss saa sspsFtea ~
s.aS fsTsS gs.<ay.
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

o. lsa' 3h hsF ~ ~ 'tef
i0aas sas vf9s9Heb igosa - zee
ass.es tsAss rsresafaa ~ ssr
HystNaes. v.sS - 81 ~ "a
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

CGso. Ex3g va - "a tsnae
- s;fsa4ihsf.as e esas1Af ssfg.ss ssfs
fsK . ssssssetz.T szs.ksra~As Sffi -
Frasess n tAS TsAat eps2<sss So
y , A.HfEAsa ENggs Ast Tefssg
Gainesville daily sun. (Gainesville, Fla.) 190?-1938, 1906-05-13

Fssr El's4 $50 Fssf tr.-rt
i.ya-AAusz Va. Eay = F9uf '.s p
be wrrr ias-& sssfsa 81
,.astpa FsttSf &C go NsTasN fg
- s@sFs-E a.. 4sA
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
AVERAGE HUMANITY.
Most People Are Not Very Good Nor
Yet Very Bad.

Yet Very Bad.
What do we mean by good man or
a bad one, good woman or bad
one? Most people, like the young man
in the song, are mot very good, nor yet
very bad" We move about the pas
lures Of life in huge herds, and all do
the same things at the same times and
for the same reasons. Forty feeding
like one" Are we mean? Well, we
have done some mean things in our
time. Are we generous? Occasionally
we are. Were we good sons or dutiful
daughters? We have both honored and
dishonored our parents, who in their
turn had done the same by theirs. Do
we melt at the sight of misery? Indeed
we do Do we forget all about it when
we have turned the corner? Frequently
that is so. Do we expect to be put to
open shame at the great day Of judg-
ment? We should be terribly frighten-
ed of this did we not cling to the hope
that amid the shocking revelations then
for the first time made public our little
affairs may fail to attract much notice.
Judged by the standards Of humani-
ty, few people are either good or bad.
II have not been great sinner" said
the dying Nelson; nor had he-he had
only been made great fool Of by a
woman. Mankind is all tarred with the
same brush, though some who chance
to be operated upon when the brush is
fresh from the barrel get more than
their share Of the tar. The biography
Of a celebrated man usually reminds
me of the outside of coast guards
mans cottage-all tar and whitewash.
Essays Of Augustine Birrell.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
RudaDeSt.

Americans know absolutely nothing
Of one of the greatest cities Of all Eu-
rope" said returned traveller. II re-
fer to Budapest. Do you believe it has
over three-quarters Of million inhab-
itants and is foremost in many Of the
arts and sciences? Take my word for
it. Why, it has university with near
Iy 5000 students and 230 professors.
The trolley was developed in Buda-
pest Most of the population is Mag
var. Buda has the finest Jewish syna-
gogue in the empire The Danube, di-
viding Buda from Pest, is a beautiful
stream, spanned by magnificent
bridges. The largest electrical works
in all Europe are in this wonderful
city.''-New York Press.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
The Donatcr.

~ a. -
at the closing services Of a religious
organization held In Philadelphia an at
tempt was made to raise certain sum
OF money for some good work.
Il Will start the good work with
s25r' cried a man who was q stranger
to the preacher.
..Thanss, brother; thanks!~ exclaimed
the minister presiding. effusively. I
don't know your name, but may heay-
ZEN bless your kind heart, and may your
business during the coming year be
doubled r J. .
Instantly there was laugh that was
both long and loud. and the perplexed
preacher gazed at the delegates in as
tonishment.
What have / done:' said he.
what
Nothing" replied q fellow preacher,
.only the man who donated that twen-
ty-fiye is an undertaken. - New Or.
leans Times-D Democrat.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
CHINESE ART IN STONE.
Its Best Examples and Some OF Its
Greatest Defects.

HIS DcE1 tLSliNpIeS AIu SoII1S "a AtS
Greatest Defects.
The spirit of purely Chinese art in
stone is shown in work such rs the
great mCnolith figures Of animals and
warriors which flank the approach to
the tombs OF the Ming dynasty and in
the perfectly plain structures designed
for the tombs of the present dynasty.
These are composed OF enormous
blocks of stone brought with infinite
labor from distant quarries over roads
and bridges which are hardly capable
of sustaining ordinary cart traffic and
have always to be specially prepared
to prevent the great weights causing
their collapse.
The same admiration for the employ
ment of huge blocks Of stone is seen
in the case of the bridges over the riv-
ers along the coast of South Fukien,
where the stone slabs used in t-:e con-
struction occasionally measure sixty
feet in length and are estimated to
weigh nearly 120 tons, and the bridges
themselves nave d leuSlu VI 1,OoO "
1000 yards.
In almost all cases where the build
ings are not of solid construction the
! weight Of the blocks employed has
placed strain upon the supports which
the architects skill was not competent
to provide against, and with the lapse
of time the melancholy spectacle is
seen OF slabs fallen from their places
and Of noble and costly structures
approaching ruin. In some cases the
interdependence Of the arches leads to
the same result One notable instance
Of this occurred during Colonel Cor
don's campaign against the Taipings,
when to allow of the passage Of his
small steamers it was necessary to
make a gap in a bridge Of over twenty
arches, and arch after arch collapsed
Immediately after the passage Of his
small fotilla. London Saturday Re
view.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
Speed.

Walter Christie was talking about
his blue flier, the huge and handsome
racing car with which he amazed Cape
May last summer.
Zone day in August" he said, Il took
a run out into the country and some
how got lost. On toward dusk I found
myself at the meeting point of four
crossroads and unable to tell which
road would lead me back to Cape May.
$50 I pulled up and waited and soon
a boy driving COW appeared.
"My lad,' I said, I want to get to
Cape May
"The little fellow stared at my ITO
horsepower car, and then he said
calmly:
"'Well, jest foller this COW an ye'n
get thar" '"-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
He Hadn't Noticed
The Colonel's Silence

g ONE years ago in Alabama one OF
the most talented lawyers prac-
ticing in the south was the late
Colonel Bragg, but he had a peppery
temper
Not only did Colonel Bragss disposi-
ton involve him from time so time i'll
serious differences with mis- colleagues
1 but it also led him to break off AMIGA
bic relations with Il Judge Robinson, a
most estimable Jurist, who, while pre-
siding over suit in which Bragg was
interested. had by his decision incurred
the resentment OF the advocate. SO for
Isl long time the colonel declined even to
speak to the judge, save when it was
absolutely necessary in the cour: OF
Business.
Finally, however. his better nature
getting the upper band, Colonel Bragg
determined to apologize to Judge Rob-
inson and endeavor to effect renewal
Of their former comparatively pleasant
relations. Meeting the judge one after
noon on the steps Of the statehouse.
he impuisiyely thrust out his mana ana
said:
See here, judge; lets be friends
again. This thing has gone on long
enough"
" .sWhy-er-B Bragg asked the judge
IN the meekest and mildest way imas-
Unable, whats the matter" e
ssSimu,y this. iudse,n continued the
fiery Bragg 81 admire you so im-
mensely that cannot for my life be
content to remain on bad terms any
! longer. / felt that I must speak to
you.' s s33s
.sWhy-er Bragg" /" piped the judge ID
the thinnest of voices, a well feigned
look Of astonishment on his face, why
-er Bragg, haven't you been speaking
4 TO ule?:r
S AT this the lawyer, wilted.-Lippin-
colts Magazine.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
The Crab rs a Fisherman.

The crab sometimes catches a fish.
and it catches it without hook and line.
1t lies in wait. perhaps in some creek.
with it's jaws extended in front and
open. Perhaps a school Of llillies comes
along. and it may be that q killie on the
outskirts Of the school may swim un-
suspectingly along through the clear
water between the upper and lower
parts of one of the motionless open
claws of the crab. When it is well
within them the claw suddenly snaps
together and that particular little killie
GOES no farther.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
Refusing a Touch"

Il 70, cannot explain;
nj can only deny.
Though it gives me great pal1.
There is but one reply.
It's too bad that you should
Make that sort of plea,
For would if could,
But can't, don't you see?
am always your friend,
AS think you should Know.
And firmly intend
That our friendship shall grow.
When it's once understood.
You will never blame me,
For I would if could,
But I can't, don't you see?
Were it any old thing
But the cash that you need
No, this isn't String
I would do it, indeed.
Still it's not any good;
am tied; I'm not free.
Yes, would If could,
But I can't, don't you see?.
It's beautiful phrase.
Always ready for use.
You'll observe that it pays
AS an oily excuse
A convenient hood,
I am sure you'll agree:
'eWhy, would if could.
But can't, don't you see?' ;
Chicago NewI
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
Too Deep.

.sOnce," drawled Uncle Enoch, Il
Ihew two boys who went to a lecture
over in Crownville, but they didn't like
1t much. It was clear over their heads.
SO on their way home, bein' bound to
have some fun, they stopped at the old
pond down by Harkins' mill an whisk-
ed OF their eyenin' toggery an jumped
in. =
.And did they enjoy that?'
.sWe never found out. The pond went
over their heads too. Judge.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
Economy.

1.-The under crust of this apple pie is
too tough to eat"
That's the intention. 1t can be used
again, you know" - Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
Otherwise Defined.

Il fear he yielded to the temptation
to enrich himself at the expense Of the
policy holders"
That wasn't a temptation" replied
the cold blooded financier; ''that syas
an Observation-Disclosures Star. (
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
Literary Genius.

"Why is genius SO often misunder-
stood:' asked the literary person.
"Prohably." answered the man who
doesn't care for poetry, Its because
genius so frequently fails to talk plain
y."-FxchanCe.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
Misunderstood.

& The Comedian-At liberty. old man?
Why don't you break into vaudeville?
The Tragedian haughtily)-I have
yet to disgrace the profession.
The Comedian-But you wouldn't,
dear boy Get couple OF trained dogs.
and I'll bet drink you make good
Puck.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
Wnnnn,x RIGHT.

Mamie-I believe in woman's rights.
Gertie-Then you think every woman
should have vote: Mamie-No, but
I think every woman should have a
yoter.-Chicago Record-Herald.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
He Ate Often.

Doctor-You must take quarter Of
An hours walk before every meal.
Stout Patient-But. DOCTOR you surely
don't want ne to walk all day long!-
Fiiegende Batter.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27
There's the Rub.

s.He thinks he's quite controversial
ist.'
"Well, he can give facts and figures
upon any subject that comes up
Perhaps, but his facts and figures
won't so down. Catholic Standard
and Times.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-06-27

While one finds company in himself
and his pursuits he cannot feel old, no
matter what his years may be.