davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1906-09-23
LITTLE JAMES
S4@+e@4.-+4.4s.s.s.sA44A&+4.4.ss

Concerning the Birth of the Joint
 Statehood Party.)
 They was a lot of Sad Ide Parties which met in tn Doris ONry house last week. They wasn't very Warm toards each Othern at first. Each wun he looked around at tn Otherns an sez to hisself, T didn't never think at I'd git Cot in sich a Crowd, but when a Man sets out to be a Patrite an serve his Country he's got to make some SackerfiZe. But after I git it saved wunst an git Giant Staithood firmly Established, I'll give these here Be luvved Assoshiates an Alleys in the Good Work tn Cold Shake"
 Finely tn Parties begun to try to Smile friendly at each othern, but they Cuddent Succeed only in Showin their teeth. When wun of 'em got up to Shake Hands with a nuthern, tn oth- ern he dodged as if he was a Iookin' fer Bio an sez, Darn you, if you Hit me they won't be enuff left of you to tell tn Tail.",
 After while wun of 'em he sez: '.Brotherns, we been met here on Sollum Ocashun. They's a noo party about to be Borned. Tn Times is hevvy with Travel an tn Ospishus Event can't be put off much longer We been Brot here like tn Wise Men of old frum all tn pints of tn Cumpus. This day is a-goin' to be a Eppick in tn Pollyticle Histry of Arizony Fucher Generashuns will look back onto us as tn Ancestors of Arizony tn Crate an tn Godfathers. of the Giant Staithood party. Les do our work we'll an be Peerless
 Tn Chile was bOrned all rite. but it wasn't much of a Infunt to look at. They sez: Its Mishun in life is to look after the -Intrusts of tn Common people an fite tn Crool Copperashuns which is a-grindin' 'em down into tn Earth. Tn Chile is to be eddicated to be tn Crate i-Copperashun Cham peen an must be Eddicated with that end in Vue. He must have a Gardeen who'll be his Glide, Fiiosofer an .Frend an who'll be able to find tn Soler Plexous of tn COpperashuns. WhereT we find man better fitted fer tn Eddi- cashun of this here Comin' Champeen
Arizona republican., 1906-09-23

The Hearst presses are. bombarding Senator Bailey again. The other day the New York American, on the strength of his professional services to the Waters Pierce oil company and other corporations. denounced him as "a valet to the trusts" and so a man dangerous to the people"-all the more dangerous because of his brains plausibility and eIoquence. The sen ate contains no more persuasive ora tor" Committeeman Sullivan of uH- nOis, we notice, is clamorous in public challenge to William Jennings Bryan to be consistent and demand the ex- trusiOn of Senator Bailey from the councils of the democratic party. A pretty shindy we'd see if he did.
Arizona republican., 1906-09-23
VARIETY OF CONTEST MOTIVE.


 A peculiarity of the jointists is that hardly any two of them desire joint statehood for the same reason. and none of them desire it on principle One man wants 1t in the hope that out of the ruck there will come for him some political advantage which is denied him in the territory. Another wants it because he has been deprived of some political advantage which he thought he owned. Now and then a lawyer favors it, for he foresees in the inev- itable legal tangle which would follow. rush of litigation. which has fallen off In Arizona. especially in the Salt River valley. since it has been learned that while the itigants are trying to pull off the horns and tail, the lawyers milk the COW. One man has been told that in some mysterious way. under joint statehood the corporations would be more heavily taxed than they are now. whereas in New Mexico there is now no greater oppression of capital than there is in Arizona The fact is overlooked that there would be the same people in the joint state that are now in the two territories: they would have the same morals and the same ideals about everything-even about taxation. In passing, we may say that we have a better system of taxation than New Mexico has. Assessed taxes are collected in Arizona, while in New Mexico, year by year half Of them are not
 Now and then in the outer counties a jointist is found who says he is for Jofnture because he believes it would hurt Phoenix. He does not know whether it would hurt him or not. That is matter to be afterward determined. His first and chief aim is to injure Phoenix Why the Phoenix jointist is working shoulder to shoulder with the remote jointist inspired by such a mo- tive is past finding out.
 Those who are opposing jointure all stand on the same ground. They are fighting jointure because it will be bad for them and bad for everybody else: ruinous to their own localities and to all localities in Arizona. It promises not an' increase of assessments, but an increase of tax rates over those now levied upon Arizonians and a lowering of the heavy rates levied upon New Mexicans.
 They want no jointure because every condition which would follow would be disadvantageous. while by no possibil- ity could a single condition now en- 5oyed be improved,
Arizona republican., 1906-09-23

Doubtless Colonel Bryan has noticed the accession of MT. Bacon of Georgia to the group of southern senators who have thought it advisable to advertise publicly and at once their dissent from his views on government ownership MT. Bacon is considerably older than the colonel; he had seen five years oe service in the Confederate army and begun the practice of law before Bryan made the acquaintance of the multiplication table. MT. Bacon is a rather influential democrat in his part of the country.
Arizona republican., 1906-09-23
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

Small Fred-Say Mamma, is it true that lightning never strikes twice in the same place?
 Mamma-So it is claimed, dear.
 Small F'red-Huhi Our teachers got lightning beat to a standstill. She can strike dozen times in the same place.
 Mamma-What is that book you are reading, Willie?
 Little Willie-Its a book called Child Training" that I borrowed from Mrs. Smith.
 Mamma-Do you find it amusing?
 Little WiIlie-Oh, no; merely want ed to See if I had been brought up properly-Chicago Daily News.
 Mamma-Tommy, what is the baby crying for?
 Tommy-Cause he doesn't know things. I had to take his cake and show him how to eat it.
Arizona republican., 1906-09-23

The New York Sun truly observes: If Arizona should go for jointure 1t Well, rather. The Sun, however, does not believe that the defeat of jointure in New Mexico could be regarded as an unexplainable phenomenon.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
Yellow Beauty Powder Now.

The latest invention of a certain
beauty doctor" is yellow powder. The
doctor" learned his little secret from
the fascinating maidens and squaws
of a Canadian Indian settlement. The
powder is not really golden yellow;
it merely has that rich, creamy brown
tint that is seen in the skins of Indian
girls and some of the duskier maids of
our own race also. 1t is made by the
simple process of burning little of
the chalk on rock set in the sun and
mixing the burnt chalk with the white
until the creamy color is obtained.
The only trouble in marketing this
new powder" remarked the doctor"
sis to find any woman sallow or black
enough to acknowledge that she needs
yellow powder. The most bilious look
ing creature / ever knew would rather
make a whited sepulchre of herself
than acknowledge to her own soul that
she is anything but milk and roses"
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
STOMACH PAINS
Dr. Williams Pink Pills Brought Re-
lief, and Cure for Splitting
Headaches as Well.

DR.. Williams Pink Pills, a remedy
which has been before the American peo-
pie for generation, is still accomplish
ing wonderful results as is evidenced by
the following interview with Mrs. Ra-
chael Gardner, of Wilsey, Kans.
at was very strange" she says, II
never could tell what caused it and
neither could anybody else. For long
time had lad spells with my stomach.
The pain would commence about my
heart and was so deadly agonizing that
would have to scream aloud. Sometimes
it would last several hours and would
have to take laudanum to stop it. Be-
sides this had headache almost con-
stantly, day and night, that nearly crazed
me, so you see / suffered great deal.
And when / think of the agony / en-
dured it still makes me shudder.
Doctors did you say? Their medi-
cine made me sicker. / couldn't take it
and kept growing worse until a friend
advised me to take DIR. Williams Pink
Pills, and I did. 1 began to feel better
and was soon wholly converted TO this
wonderful medicine. 1t did me more
good than had ever hoped for. kept
on with the pills and now recommend
them to all who suffer-"
DIR. Williams Pink Pills have cured
severe cases II indigestion, bloodlessness,
influenza, headaches, backaches, lum-
bago, sciatica, neuralgia, nervousness
and spinal weakness. The genuine DIR.
Williams Pink Pills are guaranteed to
be free from opiates or any harmful
drugs and cannot injure the moss delicate
system. At all druggists, or from the
DIR. Williams Medicine Co., Schenectady,
NY, postpaid on receipt of price, 90
cents per box, six boxes for $3.50.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
Cures Briaht's Disease.

Let those afflicted with one form or
another of Bright's disease take heart!
Here comes from some of the grand
mothers of the middle west and
southwest sure cure" 1t was COM
monty used three-quarters of a GEN.
fury ago. Old DR.. Tip passes it along
the line. 1t comes to him straight
from a granddaughter of one of the
grandmothers, relation of Mrs.
James G. Blaine: Get some dried ap-
pies, the kind we used to have at
home; not the evaporated kind. Pour
boiling water over a kettleful of them
and let them steep, covering the kettle
tightly. When the water has absorbed
the strength of the apples pour it off
and drink it-lots of it-as much as
you can hold; keep on sleeping apples
and keep on drinking the water. 1t
will soon give you a new pair of kid
neys. Then you can laugh at all other
ailments, which will soon disappear
when your kidneys resume opera.
tons. IN. Y. Press.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
Don't Envy the Rich.

The real virtue of riches is that
they add to the picturesqueness of
life Millionaires and even semi-mil-
lionaires do great deal toward bright
ening the landscape, and we ought not
only to suffer them to live, but to be
grateful to them. Who would will
ingly miss the gay pageant down
Fifth avenue. on spring afternoon,
and reduce the beautiful city with its
glad decoration of well dressed peo-
pie to the gray level of the willing
poor? No; the world is best consti-
tuted just as it is, with all the varie-
ties of the people, and all the varying
scales of being and of dressing. Only
let the man not yet doomed to being
a millionaire realize that, like the pur-
pie COW, 1t is better to see than be one.
And JOY, after all, is really and truly
not to be bought with money, nor to
be found in any distant corner of the
earth, but is, in very deed, as the sages
have known in all ages, the kingdom
of heaven within.-Harper's Magazine.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
When Woman lsHt YOUNG.

The report is that local religious
institution which is for young wom-
en-" has drawn the deadline of youth
at IS. Every woman over that age
will be marked % and requested to
skiddoo. This is painful. II is unkind.
What Is worse, 1t is impracticable. We
are glad the task Is to be performed
by women. No man nor set Of men
would ever have dared tackle such a
problem-not they. This Is simply
another example OF woman's inhu.
mainly to woman.
We have been told for many ages
that q woman is as old as she looks
and man is as old as he feels. Just
now, we say 1t with regret, most WON.
en- look like 60 and most men feel like
Methuselah. But the general rule
seems n good one. 1t is a plain, un.
palatable fact that women will deceive
as to their age as long as possible and
then openly lie about II. There are
many women who were. born during
the ravages OF the civil war who still
claim sweetly to be in the thirties.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
His Scheme Worked.

II is related that a certain man was
recently very sad because his wife
had gone out of town on a visit,
which she would not shorten in spite
of his appeals to her to come home.
He finally hit upon a plan to induce
her to return. He sent her copy OF
each of the local papers with one item
clipped out, and when she wrote to
find out what it was he had clipped
out he refused to tell her.
The scheme worked admirably! In
less than a week she was home to
find ont what 1t was that had been
going on that her husband didn't want
her to know about.-Pittsburg Press.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
The Household Devil of Sam Louie
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. VvyvvWWVvWvy'FvwVV
Copyright by Joseph 3. BOwles)
By E. Spence De Pue

eph Il. Bowles.)
listened a moment, reached into the
bunk Tor the package which they had
brought from the theater, tiptoed out
of the sleeping room and made their
way Into the store.
Here, this II do Ming Foo whis-
pered, selecting a place behind low
pile OF boxes. Now, let's tie this mask
to you, and you are not to say word
till | tell you to squeal; then, do 1t as
loud 0s you can; as loud as you can"
he repeated, nervously.
The mask, which was almost three
feet in height, had two green horns at
it's top. To each of the horns Ming Foo
tied a little bunch of punks, which he
lighted as the pungent aroma t1oated
through the room and mingled with
the vegetable and animal odors. he
gave three little perfunctory hobs of
his head. Next he tied, as best he
could in the dark, this high mask to
the body of his assistant
Shuttle, shuttle, approaching steps
without came to their ears distinctly.
In front of the door some one halted,
and even to the spot where the trem-
bling boys stood the low whisperings
carried.
Rap, bang! The pounding of the door
reverDerated through the room like a
clap Of thunder.
Who's there?" came from the inner
room. With a lighted candle in his
hand which showed his sleep-swollen
face and eyes, Sam Louie came shut
fling out.
Who's there?" he demanded, suspi-
ciously, as he laid hand upon the bar
of the door. Ming Foo could see, for
he hal climbed up a little way on the
boxes for that purpose.
Nov Gum. Open quickly" came
the prompt response, in a low tone.
Sam Louie half turned the bar, but,
not al! convinced, threw it back into
place.
How am | to know that it is Now
Gum?" he asked.
In answer TO this there was halfim-
patient oath. open, Sam Louie. Am
|, Now Gum, your employer, to be kept
in the street and denied admission TO
my own place."
In his growing excitement, Ming
Foo climbed to top of the boxes. Sam
Louie, evidently satisfied. threw down
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
"A Devil A Devil" HowIed the
Others
Others.

the bar. The door flew open as though
a pressure had rested against it all the
while. Silently, almost instantly, four
villainous highbinders swarmed
through the opening. Now that 1t was
too late, Sam Louie saw the awful
mistake that he had made. He gave a
low. animal-like cry; the candle clat-
tered t1 the floor; he tried to turn and
run, Eut a ready hand reached for him.
One OF them pressed the sharp point
of a knife against his throat.
"Wheye is the key? Key to the safe,"
another demanded.
Press 1t in" was the command. The
man with the knife dug IL vicioucly
into the PROSTATE mans neck.
The rather uncertain light of the
street fiickered In through the open
door end made it all quite plain to
Ming Foo.
"Now-when | say scream, do 1t
loud" he whispered. Hosting Quong
Ling uron his shoulders he raised him
TIL lust the horns with the burning
punks were on level with the tops OF
the boxes.
eff he cont tell, drive the knife clear
in" was the impatient command they
heard, and 1t was instantly answered
by a moan of pain from Sam Louie.
"Nowl" prompted Ming Foo.
And such q scream as IL was! A
scream of screams, In which there was
all the voice and all the terror of
ouong Ling, who could see nothing.
and who had frightened himself by his
own voice.
"A devill A devil!" howled the 9TH
ers, standing still to stare.
With a yell of fear from the intrud-
ers they scrambled and fell over them
selves and each other In an effort to
get INTO the street Sam Louie had
tainted, OF he, too, would probably have
gone.
Then came the triumphant hour OF
Ming Foo, for, calmly setting Quong
Ling on the floor, he made haste to bar
the door. Then he danced a mad, elfin
dance and waved his battered cap aloft
and shouted
For many days yet to come II will
be told how the household devil Of Sam
Louie came to his assistance and put
TO flight four of the most desperate
fighters Of the Ping Kong tong.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
BETTER THAN UNITED sTATEsf
Samland, II Is Asserted, Would Make
a Good Name.

A certain class of minds has been at
work for more than 100 years trying
to construct an original designation
in a single word for the United States
of America. II was seriously proposed
at first to call the republic Columbia.
but no one wanted that, and finally
New Granada, in South America, came
along and appropriated the title.
Samuel Whelpley, author of the Com
pend of History" conducted cam
paign in behalf of the word Ere
donia," which he considered more
euphonius than "Fredomfa," but sue
ceeded only in getting the name at
tached to a village in this state,
whence 1t has been passed on to post
Offices in dozen other states of the
union, says the New York Mail. Later
the English kindly attempted to re-
christen the country "Usonia and the
people "Usonians," by derivation from
the magical initials ~. S." But COM
mon speech accepts none of these des-
ignations. America and "Ameri-
cans" are good enough for the people,
who see no improperly whatever in
giving a continental designation to
the republic and its citizens.
But the fact that no original designa-
ton has yet pleased the fancy of the
people is no sure sign that none ever
will. The International Mercantile
Marine company has hit upon name
for one of it's ships which has great
popular picturesque possibilities. The
steamer Mississippi of the Red Star
line is to be rechristened Samland, in
honor of Uncle Sam.
And "Samland" is good Uncle Sam,
the genial and shrewd abstraction Of
the republic, is dear to every heart.
We can imagine "Samland" going
from mouth to mouth until the applica-
ton of it is transferred to the nation.
After that Americans of the United
States may be calling themselves Sam
landers and the business will be done.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
Three Great conversationalists.

The three greatest conversational
lists with whom it has been my good
fortune to come into touch were Maz-
zini, Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes and
Bismark.
OF these, DR.. Holmes was the most
spirited in the bel esprit sense;
Bismarck the most imposing and at
the same time the most entertaining
in point Of wit, sarcasm, anecdote and
narrative of historical interest,
brought out with rushing vivacity and
with lightning-like illumination Of
conditions, facts and men.
In Mazzini words there breathed
such a warmth and depth of convic-
ton, such enthusiasm of faith in the
sacredness of the principles pro-
fessed and of the aims pursued by
him. that it was difficult to resist such
a power of fascination.-Carl Schurz.
in McClure's Magazine.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
From Sandals 10 Shoes.

The first foot coverings were sand
ais. After these came shoes left open
at the toes, then the wooden shoes
of the ninth and tenth centuries. fol-
lowed a little later by shoes with
long pointed and turned-up toes.
which sometimes reached as high as
the knee. Later shoe was worn
with an exceedingly wide toe, so very
wide that 1t impeded the process of
walking. Queen Mary restricted the
wearing of this by. proclamations. The
proclamation ran to the effect that
shoes should not be worn wider than
six inches.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14

Az 4. Mound Street. CoiNW6Ns, one.
LAY FEVER is endemic catarrh. It
i is caused by some irritating SUBJ
stance in the atmosphere during the
late summer months 1t is generally
thought that the pollen of certain weeds
and flowers is the cause of it.
Change of locality seems to be the
only rational cure. The use of Peruna,
however, stimulates the nervous system
to resist the effect of the poisonous
carnations and sometimes carries the
victim through the hay fever season
without an attack of the disease.
A large number of people rely upon
Peruna for this purpose. Those who
do not find it convenient to change
their location to avoid Hay Fever,
would do well to give Peruna trial.
1t has proven of priceless value to
many people.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
Physicians Recommend CastOria

AST0 has met with pronounced favor the part physicians pharma-
~ ceucal societies and medical authorities used by physicians with
results gratifying The extended of Castora unquesonaby the
result Of three facts EThe disputabe evidence that it is harmless:
s'oThat not only ays stomach pains and qes the but assm
lat the food T- agreeable and perfect substitute for Castor Oil
absolutely safe. It does not contain any Opium Morphine other narcotic
and does not up unlike Soothing Syups Bamans Drops Godfeys
Cordial This good deal for Medical Journal Our duty, how
expose danger and record the advancing health The day
for poisoning innocent children through greed ignorance ought end To
knowledge Castoa remedy which produces composure health
regulating the system by SIMPLIFYING and readers entitled to
the inf0rmation.-HaW;S Jo1rnaZ of Reath.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
Home Comforts.

"The boarders don't seem to like
our country vegetables" said Mrs.
Corntossel.
That's funny" responded the farm
er. They ought to 'preciate 'em.
They was bought right in the same
town they come from"
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
100000
BUSH FL. s
THAT'S THE WHEAT
CROP IN WESTERN
CANADA THIS YEAR
.xSsE

This with nearly Sc

and 900 bushels of barley means a con-
ern Canada.
Free farms, big crops. low tsxes healthy
climate, good churches and schools, splendid
railway service.
The Canadian Government oilers 80 acres Of
land free to every settler willing and able to
comply with the Homestead Regulations.
Advice and information may be obtained free
from w. ID. Scott Superintendent of Imni-
grafton, Ottawa, Canada: or from authorized
Canadian Government Agents-M. v. McInnes.
Avenue Theatre Block, Detroit, Michigan or
c. A. Laurier, sauit Sic. Marie. Michigan.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14

We cannot expect the pleasure OF
friendship without the duty, the priv
ilege without the responsibility
Hugh Black, M. A.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
First Coins Were Brass,

The first coins wereastruck in brass
about 1885, B. c., and in gold and sill
yer by Pheldon, tyrant of Argos, about
S62 B. G.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
HAY FEVER

"Ha1ing used PSyEaa for eatay,k and
hay JSvey, 4 can recommend ii to all SVIo
are suffering sOith tie above diseases. I
am hap1y TO be able TO say ii has helped
me 7Von6sUfHkIy."
Marine E. .SmfiH.
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14
subject for Another Lecture.

"oh, dear" exclaimed Mrs. Slap
dash, when they were finally seated
in the carriage, 1--WE only got one of
my earrings on. / left the other on
my dressing table"
HUH" grunted her husband, "just
like my lectures on your carelessness
in one ear and out the other"
The Yale expositor., 1906-09-14

"Cut out hot cream of tartar bis
cult" used to be common, everyday
remark among physicians when dis
cussing items of diet for their pa
tents. But alum baking powder bis
cults are never mentioned in this re-
spect. Why? Because it's the cream
of tartar that is Objectionable and in
furious, and yet there are some people
who to-day continue to use the old
cream Of tartar baking powder, and
wonder why they are always ailing.