davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
The Unexnected.

did you hear the story about the old
Plympton farm with the mortgage on it
down Hardscrabble wayT'
No"
well the old farm has been in the
Plympton family more than ninety years,
and they worked it for ali there was in
it. Old Eben Plympton put a mortgage
on it and handed it down to his son
Silas. And Si!as died and left the mort
gage to his widow. The widow got the
note renewed from time to time, and
struggled along year after year. Her
son Jack ran away from home when he
was sixteen AID then the widow strug
Ged along alone. Finally the holder Of
the mortgage wouldn't renew again. But
the widow had no money, and finally
the day the note fell due came round
Then what do you suppose happened
The widows son came home, Of
course, and paid oil the debit
No, he didn't. The holder Of the
mortgage came round and asked for his
money. The widow sighed and said:
You'll have TO take the farm The man
shuddered. He knew the farm. No,
you don't" he yelled. I'd sooner burn
the blamed mortgage than take the
measly old farm for Il gift, by gum!'
did he burn it,"
"He did'-Cleyelan Plain Dealer.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
CROSSED OCEAN THREE TINES.
Was Deported and Had to Return Again
to Husband.

Among the arrivals reaching Hancock
Mich. a short time ago was Mrs. j. Sal,
SKY, who, in order to reach that place.
had to cross the Atlantic ocean three
times. Mrs. Salsky is the wife of a Rus
suan jew who has been resident of
Hancock for three years. coming To the
city directly upon his arrival from his
native land, where he had left his wife
until such time as he could send her
funds. This he did this winter. His
brother came out with her, and for pur-
poses of economy they bought ticket as
man and wife. The steamer landed them
at Baltimore. and there the immigration
officials discovered the irregularity in the
ticket. In spite of every effort the wom-
an and her brotber-in-law were ordered
deported. Mrs. Salsky was landed at
Hremen, and she took passage there for
New York as soon as possible. The
brother-in-law did not make the trip with
her this time, he returning to Russia, and
she came through without mishap. She
arrived in Hancock without her hus-
bands knowledge. He was not certain
of the date of her coming, and was out
of town on business when she reached
the city. He returned the next day. and
husband and wife are now reunited aft
er three years of separation.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
DREDGING FOR HUSBANDS.
Raking the Social Gravel for Matrimonial
Nuggets of Value.

Dredging for husband is develop
ment of the times which causes much
amusement to the ohserVant, says
Truth. \ girl who occupies Il good po-
Stion in society" and is intelligent soon
discovers that the number of rich bach
ciors of her own standing in life is very
limited. that most Of them are almost
captured already, and that many of them
will have little 10 do with her.
She then commences to 'dredge" the
bed uf the social stream Buried in the
gravel of this are many rich men, the
sons of still obscure tiuanciers. manufac-
turers or merchants. and careful dredg-
ing often brings some of them To the
surface. Then the connections are gen
orally east back into the water. aud only
The valuable elder son retained for use
dredging parties have recently he
come the rage. An expert "dredycr'
spends the winter in gathering the
necessary material in hotels on The Con.
tlnent aud IN other directions, and in the
spring and Summer gives a series of M
homes to West End customers = charg
ing commission on each completed
transaction.
Thus customer captivates Il
'dredged'' bachelor and becomes en-
gagged 10 him. 1t his income is so. 600 4
year, the percentage is cauitaiizcd an,
~ N'AAA't'1ttt - l's'ih ~ tue bGFU2Vf
the wedding eve by the parents of til,
girl.
The 'dredgers" have hitherto mostl,
been the divorced wives of widows ~
knights or haronets, but rs the business.
is so remunerative many Of the hes
known women in London are adopting il
for it is obvious that duchess would Ia,
able 10 rake the social deep mucl
more eheciNelN than can even lad
hn itsts N .,ftH .
ciety" 10y losing another in The divorr
court
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Fathers FORGOTTEN Classics.

William had just returned from college
to spend his spring vacation. One of
the things most noticed ny the young
man was Fanny. the daughter of 81 Per-
kis. near neighbor who had during his
absence changed from tomboyish
schoolgirl into very beautiful young
woman. 1t seems his father had also
noticed the change, and remarked to his
son:
William, have nou noticed how old 81
Perkins daughter Fanny has shot UP?
handsome young critter!'
SHE certainly is. father" said VIII
lam, enthusiastically. Fanny is as
beautiful as Hebc"'
Where's your eyes. boy" objected the
father. shes a durn sight purifier than
he be! Old 81 is as homcly as BiH
Jones bull pup. iIarpers Weekly.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Cat Caught Mumps from Boy.

4 few weeks ago the little 6-year-o.d
son of Mrs Bette Woodring, who lives
on the Vine Grove road, about five or
six miles out from town, had sever
case Of mumps, and while the fever wa~
high took up in his arms pet cat and
playfulIy blew his breath into its nos
tIiiS
III loss than two weeks the cat had Il
We'll developed case of genuine mumpS.
with jaws and throat swollen so badly
ii could scarcely eat. In due course the
disease wore off and the cat recovered
and is now fat and sleek as ever
Elizabetltown News.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24

", and with a burning sensation. They
showed sediment. / became discour-
aged, weak, languid and depressed, so
sick and weak that l could not keep
up. AS doctors did not cure me, de
cided to try Doan's Kidney Pills, and
with such success that my troubles
were all gone after using eight boxes,
and my strength, ambition and general
health is fine"
Sold by all dealers 80 cents a box.
Foster Milburn Co, Buffalo. y. Y.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Water in Which Razor is Ground.

Ftople often wonder why German
h'il"W ground is the boast of American
razor makers. said u cutlery salesman.
They want to know why we can't
grind eur own razors here. We have
the men ami the implements and we can
grind rs keen an edge, but we can't get
'He White. SjlTery color of the German
grinding. There is no trade secret abou.
II Is Just some peculiar quality in
tae water used to wet the stones thar
gives the blade its clean Wilderness. In
q real German hollow ground razor that
Wy.nieucSS lasts as long as the blade.
" hen you see the blue shade coming
after or has been in use for some
time you can be certain that the blade
was never ground IN Germany, kan
saS City Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Too Much for the Old Man.

The North Atchison boys tell story
on Joe Henderson. Joe is the father of
Jess Henderson. the athlete, who used
to he rated as the strongest man in
town. When jess was about ID years
old. and after he had taken boxing les
sons several months, Joe attempted TO
box his ears. After trying his best Joe
couldn't hit jess. jess was too sci
cnced:" so Father Joe went into the
house and said 10 his wife: Mamma.
what's the matter with our Jesse? He
needs a whipping. but l can't hit him. .
-Atchjsou Globe.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Gets Black Bear ON Fish Hook.

c. O'Flynn and Marshal Aiworth of
Duluth have returned from Isle Royale
with a young black bear which they
say WAS captured in novel manner.
The men were fishing near the mouth
of Big Sisbiwit river and Alworth sent
Il leader down stream. to which was at
tached hook baited with gOod-sized
sinner. The line was carried around a
sharp bend by the current and the baby
bear. which seems to have been fishing
also. caught the sinner and was himself
caught, the hook fastening firmly in the
Inns.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
CURATIVE APPARATUS
For Use in Connection with Animals,
Especially Horses.

An efficient mode of treating bruised
irritated and son. etimes diseased limbs
of animals-as. for instance, the leg of
a horse-is by pouring a stream of water
upon the limb at the point affected
Heretofore it has been universally Gus
tomary for the person in charge Of the
animal to hold the end Of a hose at the
point desired and pour the stream of
water upon it for such length of time as
might be deemed necessary. This mode
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Not Unlikely.

Magistrate-Y say you didn't steal
the watch. Then where did you get it:
Prisoner Bought it. your worship.
Observation-Disclosures
prsoner-In Regent street.
Magistratc--What did it cost?
Prisoner Really, your worship, | quite
forgot to ask.-Tit-B Bits.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24

the torture | went
through now seems
to have been almost
unbearable. l had
backache, pains in
the side and loins,
dizzy spells and hot,
feveriSh h e a d aches.
There were bearing
down pains. and the
K i d n ey secretions
passed too freauent-
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Safe from the Agent.

Church-That man Hughes. who Is
conducting the insurance investigation.
is a lucky man.
Gothan-Why 50?
Church-IIe won't be bothered with in
s,rance agents calling at his office and
telling him the advantages Of insuring IL
taeir companies for a long time.-Ionk-
crS Statesman
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24

Among those successfully passing the
mental examination for admission 10 the
naval academy ut Annapolis. Md. was
Luther Welsh of Kansas City. vino. find
ing during his preparatory work that he
was too short To meet the requirements.
which demand that those entering the
academy must be at least feet > inches
in height, underwent Il stretching process
in which a specially devised machine fg-
Gred. Welsh gained the needed = inches.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
A Great Idea.

My new play is sure to make hit, :
said the great actress; lit gives me an
opportunity to display twenty new
gowns"
"GraciouS," exclaimed her friend
How many actsT'
Only four. but i'll one of them the
scenes ut II dresSmaker's. "-Philadelphia
Press.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
French Marriage Restrictions.

1t sounds almost incredible. but is none
the less a fact. that Il Frenchman under
- years of age. whose parents are dead
and whose grandfather or grandmothei
is alive, cannot enter the married state
without the written authority of both or
either of thcm.-paris Letter TO London
Post
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Horrible Dict.u!

A young man residing ut Client. is
Said to have INDUCED in Il bent his
Friends viewed with regrets,
For he smoked cigarettes,
Until he was mon cOmpos mentis.
-HarlOwe X. Hoyt.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24

The other day small boy with fish
pole passed the printing office on his way
home. The devil. who is rather an III
quisitive fellow, failing to see any fish
in the lads possession yelled out: Hell
10, Kid! What'd you catchE" The lad
promptly answered. Don't know. Hain't
been home yet. Exchange.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Moved His Audience.

Barnstormer-Yes, sir. the audience
was distinctly moved by my perform
ance Of Hamlet
Hamphat--I understood that half Of
the people left before it was through
II. Il. II.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
No Reason to Quit

Digs Miners commit suicide the least
of all workmen.
Biggs-Well, judging from the price of
coal, there's no reason why they should.
H. r. IL.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
"Kube" Roots.

Kubclik. the famous vi0linist. who is
now jarring New York with lis fiddle
and his freaks has his fingers insured
fVt $50, 900 and. as further prccoution,
Kube roots out danger by wearing Il
muff-when he isn't playing, of COURSE
Florida Times Union.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Soporifc.

My dear Mrs. sharp" said Rev
Pondrus-Tawker, why do you not in
duce your husband 20 come TO church
with you:"
in the world. He SHORES terribly. -
Catholic Standard and Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Premature.

Cleverly-What made Gotrox disin-
herit his whole family?
Beverly-Well, when he got his life in
sured and had made his will in their fa
vor, they wanted to Oslerize him.-H.
X. ii.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
With a Ianitor for Ruier.

Mr.. Kaller-Taking music lessons. are
YOU, Willie? Well. do you know what ii
fiat is?
Willie Harlumm-Yes, sir; three rooms
and Il both.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Rational Explanation.

Il see that the only woman attorney
in the county married her only client"
Il suppose she was afraid she might
Dealer.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
In Ancient Rome.

Magister-W What's the charge against
the prisoner?
Prosecutor Impersonatin@ q lictor.
Magister-W did he do?
Prosecutor-He obtained fifteen sester-
til hush money from n Jewish book
maker ut the Coliseum.-H. II. II.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
Il Tea T able Salad. .
Same Old Story.

The honeymoon is over now,
And to theiT fiat they take,
Where Nick tells Alice of the bread
Ills mother used 10 make
III. Il. H.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24

Sharpe Come out to our china closet.
| want to show you collection of SOU
yenirs
Why. every piece of china
is broken and numbered?
Sharpe-"Yes, they are souvenirs of
our different cooks.-EIchange.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
COULD NOT KEEP UP.

Broken Down, Like Many Another
Woman, with Exhausting Kidney
Troubles.
Mrs. A. Taylor, of Wharton, " J.,
says: Il had kidney trouble in its
most nainful and severe form. and
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24

Pitcher Frank Ferguson has finally
notified the Cincinnati club that he has
decided not to play professional ball but
to take up the work of civil engineering
with his father
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24
As Usual.

.iinks-Too bad about Plunger, isn't
Il?
Binks-What's he done now?
.Iinks-Speculated in Amalgamated.
Binks-Didn't stocks go up?
Jinks-No, but Plunger did.-H. X. II.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24

\ horse belonging to DIR. y. r. Rose
of Evansville, Ind, and valued at $500
apparently committed suicide by pung-
ing against sharp post, impaling itself
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24

\ remarkabl, love affair between chil-
dren was brought ont at the -Four courts
IN st. Louis when Thomas Exton. aged
II years. told how he had run away fram
home with BESSIE" and how he ana
she had lived in room in an alley unt.
she proved faithleSs and deserted lin
The boy ana the girl, who is : year,
old, ran away from Madison. Ill.,. q
MONTH ago. coming To st Louis together
When the boy returned To- their room,
after selling newspapers MI day Mon
day he found it empty. He then applied
to the police for protection. lie will be
returned to his parents
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24

Edward Coke. who was the leading
man for two years in dramatic presen-
tation of Ten Nights IN Il Barroom, -
Nas granted liquor license at King
tishc,, Okla
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24

Refusing TO take dare, pretty Jean
nette Dougherty. high school girl at
Evansville, Ind. climbed to the top of
SmoSestack. 222 feet high. and stand
ing there threw II kiss to the people be-
low who had gathered to witness her
feat.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24

There is Il fearful row on in the Mary
Brown Memorial Methodist Episcopal
church at Pittsburg. Miss Martha
Lewis who was remembered by the late
Capt. ). :. Brown in his will, has been
asked TO resign as superintendent of the
Mary Brown Sunday school. the trustees
alleging that the Young woman holds
$4,000 worth of bonds in the PittShurS
Brewing company. left her by Brown.
At Il church meeting Miss Lewis refused
to resign. Charges were preferred
against her aud given 10 committee
To investigate.
After She had forbidden her husbands
hired man. William Mahea. to marry
her daughter, Mrs. William Conneiley
living near Galcna .Iuncti"". Mo. elope,i
with the hired man. She took with hel,
500. received during the day Nv her
husband for load Of hogs Mancn WAS
in love with Bertha. the 15-year-old
daughter OF Mrs. ConueIlcy. The huS-
band followed the clippers as far as Clin-
ton. Ia, and then gave up the chase
She left him with five children. including
The girl whom She had forbidden to mar
ry the hired man.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-03-24

~. \. Bailey, one of tne express mes
sengers who was hurt in the wreck ar
FtStoria. O., pasted up his scalp wound
which reached to the skull. with postage
stamps, tied handkerchief about his
liead and did what he could for others.
He is rapidly recovering.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1906-10-31
SAWED CELL BARS WITH YARN.
Federal Prisoner lnvents Odd Instru.
ment to EffectsEscape. :.

Leavenworth, Kan.-Out of pieces Of
wooden yarn, unraveled from a sock
and twisted together, prisoner in the
new federal prison at Leavenworth.
Kan, constructed an instrument which
he used to saw through the top. and
bottom of a three-inch steel bar.
That common piece of yarn could
be made to cut the strongest steel
bars, tested with acids and resisting
steel saws, is discovery that not only
surprise police and keepers of jails
and penitentiaries. but scientists as
we'll. 1t is the first case of the kind
on, record. as far as can be learned,
and the prisoner who used it in the
Leavenworth penitentiary is the orr.
ginator.
The prisoner was confined In one of
the isolation cells. A guard standing
on tier above noticed him working
his hands back and forth around the
bars and notified the guards on the
lower floor. They investigated and
found that the top had been sawed
through. The bottom was about half
through. The prisoner readily con-
fessed and showed the warden how he
had accomplished the feat.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1906-10-31
american MOBILITY"
WILL SOON BE cATAloGUED BY
A BRITISH EXPERT.
Son Of Compiler of "Burke's Peerage"
Finds That Real Name Of Our
President Is Evan
Roosevelt"

London.-"Prominen Families Of
the United States of America" is the
title of a book soon to be published
by Arthur Meredith Burke, son of the
late Sir Bernard Burke, compiler of
'Burke's Peerage," and other works
on the ancestry of Great Britain's un-
titled land owners.
Armorial bearings in plenty are to
appear in the book, the title page Of
which will bear the coat of arms of
Washington.
One of the specimen pages is de-
voted to the history of the Roosevelt
family, and it's coat of arms. The
earliest recorded ancestor of the pres
ident, Claes Martenzen Van Rosen-
welt, emigrated from Zealand in Hol-
land to the New Netherlands in 1649.
The progency of this man is shown to
have figured prominently in the mill,
tary and civil history of New York.
eliminating in the particularly strenu
Gus and brilliant career of Theodore
The facts for the Roosevelt history
were furnished to Mr. Burke by Mrs
Roosevelt after considerable CORE
spondence.
81 cannot yet say" said Mr.. Burke
how many families will be represent
ed in my compilation, but it will be the
most complete and authoritative work
| on American genealogy ever attempt
ed. 1t will be published in a few
| months, and no family will be admitted
except on it's merits. Leading Ameri-
cans have been engaged for several
| years in tracing their lineage, and the
results of their investigation have been
| submitted to me for verification.' II
| has been an infinitely difficult and la
| borious task. but very fascinating.
When my grandfather started Burke
Peerage" he had complete official rec
ords to go on. l must search out the
necessary facts in parishs and other
local records of nonconformist associa-
tons, in family papers and scattered
collections of manuscripts in Great
Britain, Ireland and America.
"The facts show that when English.
men and other Europeans sheer at the
efforts of Americans to establish pedi-
| grees they display not only discourtesy
but ignorance. The lineages of the
leading American families bring to the
| investigator extraordinary men and
women at every turn, and prove that
| these families are proud and jealous OF
their virtues and deeds, and are care
full not to marry beneath their level
The persistence of lines of distinction
can be discerned right through the so
cial history of America.
| while the Americans who are trac
ing out and authenticating their an
cestry are not actuated primarily by q
desire to create an American aristo
cratic class, they are in reality defining
what the world is bound to recognize
as an American aristocracy."
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1906-10-31
STOCK NOTES.

The more pigs sow has, the more
feed she needs.
Cows, pigs and the separator are a
get-there combination.
Sold your wool yet? Brought good
price this year, didn't it?
The older pigs grow the more food
it will take to make pound of gain.
Pigs should be crowded so that they
will be fat and ready for market early.
. Stops made of middling and skim
milk are among the best foods for
sucking sows.
There is no philosophical reason why
acidity of food should give any better
returns than sweet food.
There never should be an unsound
COW, sheep or hog sent to market
from the farms of this country.
Feed the farm by the way Of the
good cow Feed her and she will feed
the farm. and everybody on it.
Cultivate your smellers Never
leave a churn after washing, until
it smells as fresh as the morning dew.
Sows can be kept in smooth, sight
ly conditions, and yet fulfill all the re-
quirements of abundant milk produc-
ton.
Nature never designed that an ami
NAL should suckle down to skeleton,
which is never done If q proper supply
Of food given.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1906-10-31
Building a Breed.

The usual method of starting a
breed of live stock is to select two
or more unusually good animals from
group that has been developed in
certain direction by means of better
food, better environment and careful
selection from a greater number No
breed is ever started If the animals
that can be used are not better than
the same breed of animals in another
locality. At the beginning this work
is carried on by few men, some
times by one. In-breeding has to be
practiced for generations till certain
characteristics are fixed in the ami
mails. The in-breedfng is intensified
by constantly eliminating those ami
mails not of the desired type
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1906-10-31
ARMY TO ADOPT NEW BULLET.
Has Long, Straight. Tapering Point
and Is Lighter Than the Old.

Washington.-The army will shortly
adopt the new bullet, which was re
Gently tested by several of the target
experts at the national rife meet at
Seagirt and found to be satisfactory
by them. Instead of the rounded point
of the present bullet 1t has long.
straight. tapering point and is also
about one-third lighter, weighing about
$50 grains. The new bullet has a
greater velocity up to 1000 yards, a
greater energy up to 1.400 yards. a
fiatter trajectory up to 1000 yards and
a little better accuracy up to 1000
yards.
The new bullet will require slight
" different firing chamber in the rife.
but this can be readily effected in
nieces now under manufacture. and
the necessary changes can be made
in the pieces now in use with compare
lively small expense.