davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
No Surprises In Dreams.

No one Is ever surprised In a dream
\ man dreaming Is at one moment
bathing in the sea and at the next mo-
ment soaring in n balloon, but the sud
den and inexplicable change does not
surprise him. nor is he surprised to
meet In the flesh friends long dead, nor
Is he surprised to find himself doing
deeds that really are beyond him. The
reason is that dreamers have no mem
ory. In real life to be pursued through
the streets by lion would be astonish-
ing. but this accident would be accept
ed in dream as horrible. but quite
commonplace. the memory not being
there to say that II 1t Is unheard of for
lions to pursue one In cities. In the
same way. in Dreams men are not sur
prisel 10 find themselves ball0On!ng be-
cause they don't remember that they
were never up In balloon before. and
they are not surprised 10 find them
selves conyersing with dead people be-
cause they don't remember that these
people are dead.-New York Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
The Coughing Habit.

An irrlta ting cough Is not always due
10 having n cold 1t Is very often a
habit acquired during the period OF
having one and afterward is more or a
nervous. reflex action. When you hnd
you are getting into the habit or con-
tinually coughing-a dry, short cough
try TO check the inclination. and more
often than not the local irritation IN
your throat will disappear and the
couph with it.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
nincnosis of Hcnda ch G.

..There are more than fifty kinds OF
headache" said physician. "and sur
ferers from the more common forms
may cure themselves by locating the
carxe and treating themselves accord
ingly. The more frequent forms are
a dull pain across the forehead, due TO
dyspepsia; a pain In the back OF the
head. due to the liver; bursting pain
in both temples, due to malnutrition;
an ache on the top OF the head, as
though a weight pressed on the skull
due to overwork; an ache between the
brows just above the base OF the nose
due to eye strain
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

A Japanese proverb worth remember
ing:
"He who knows not and knows not
that be knows not is fool. Shun him.
''TIe who knows not and knows that
be knows not Is humble Teach him.
"Hc who knows and knows not that
he knows is asleep. Wake him.
"He who knows and knows that he
knows Is n wise man. Follow him."
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

Mrs. Mann Before we were marrieo
Charles used TO bring me candy when
he came to see me. Now ] have TO Duy
my candy myself or 90 without. Mrs
Crimes-That's just the way WITH the
men. Airs. Mann-But, then. don't
mind II. buy better candy than ne
used 10 buy. and as it Is his money, JUST
the same as In the old days, the new
arrangement Is more expensive to him
than t,.c oil one.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
A VIII on Ice.

The strangest will OH record Is that
OF Connecticut clergyman who broke
through the ice of a certain pond.
Finding that he was unable to get out
upon the ice alI realizing that he had
but a short time TO live because of the
bitter cold. he took his knife and wrote
bis will on the smooth surface Of the
ice. 1t was found. duly sworn TO and
recorded us his last will and testament.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
Stale Brains.

OF course there is no future for stale
brains or for a man who stands still
and ceases to grow. He is old who
thinks he is Oh and useless who thinks
he is useless. When man has ceased
TO grow he begins to die, and many
people are half dead ut fifty, not De-
cause of their age, but because OF their
mental attitude, because OF the way
they face llfe.-Success Magazine.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
Enyfaua Canada.

There is n great deal OF gush about
the charming and all conquering
American girl. What is the truth about
this much lauded damsel? The most
attractive American Is she who Is edu-
Gated abroad. who initiates the voice OF
the Englishwoman and the dress OF the
Frenchwoman and who uses the money
accruing from Chicago pork or New
York stocks to buy. so far as such
things may be Iought, the old world
graces of speech and attire.-Canadian
MapaZine
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
The Perfect Exercise.

The game of golf fulfills the axioms
laid down for perfect eXercise-il
walk with ali object. When it Is CON
sidered that the limbs and the trunk
are exercised golf may be classified as
one of the few games, II not the only
game. which affords complete eXer'
else In itself. - Professor Cautlie
Physical Efficiency"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
ONhand.

Some grocers." remarked the Gus
TONER "have an o:Thand way OF weigh
ing sugar, but notice you're not one
OF them"
"Onhand way? How do you mean?
asked the grocer.
Il noticed you kept your hand on
the scales just now while you meas
ured out five pounds for me-"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
Not Worrying.

Young Wife, want you to promise
me one thing. If we would avoid trou-
ble we must live within our means,
and to help me in doing this want
your promise that you will never run
in debt. Young Husband-l will prom
ise, my love. II ! ever get In DEBT LII
LET the other fellows do the running.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

at Is great mistake, Mabel, t'
trifle with the affections of man wh'
loves you by encouraging some on'
else" -,
"WelI. he's a little slow. auntie'
th.,k he needs a pacemaker.'
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

Bjrnineham - Your daughter Is TO
marry a younc man named Hill. be
Eeve? Manchester-EeS. He belongs
TO one of the very Oldest families in the
country. BirmneHam-l didn't know
that be care c"oll /" particularly Old
family. MancheSter-Oh.y yes. IOH Of
ten hear people rSe the expression, "As
old as the HIS"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
Tho HoncymOOn over.

mo one comes to see me-" said she
wearily, like they did before was
married"
speaking Of that fact" said he. Il
used to call oil you seven evenings IN
the week at that time. But | am as
bad off as you'll now have nowhere
IN 90"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
SiulDlictfy.

Only small souls assume exclusive
airs. The more truly man the more
simple do we find him. Rarely do we
come in contact with person from
whom we may not receive something
if we meet him on the plane of Il kind
ly human sympathy. Ii all lies In our
innntn 60
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
His Finish Plain.

"Glad to meet YOU" said the polite
cannlbal chief to the new missionary
81 shall expect to see more OF you To-
morrow. We dine at high noon"
"Er-thanks, awfully. l shall be de-
lighted =,
"Not at all. The pleasure will be all
mine, assure you"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

oman 1ss, by Hambletonian Sentinel by
Hambletonian 10. Almonts ;jentinels dam
by Almont, by Abdallah, by Hambletonian
10. Molly by Abdallah, by Hambletonian 10.
eE- Attention is called to the strong con
centration of HAMBLETONIAN BLOOD.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
A1sentn IL jed.

Sm:th-Drown is EetlAg to he quite
abyentminded Of litc isn't he? Grif-
fin-Why, haven't noticed It, smith
Wen. he is. The other day he happened
TO look in a mirror at home, and he
asked his wife what she was doing
with that fellows picture in the house.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
Vet q PhilanthrOrist.

A.-The man does a great deal for
the po1r. it is said. B.-Nonsense. He
would not even give his daughter to ne
as my wife.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

Two kinds of business men are
hound TO succeed. We refer to the maj
who knows how to advertise and to tho
one who knows that he does not know
but knows enough to get one who does
know to write and place his advertise
ments for him.-Troy Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

First Maid-Have you got an easy
place to work? Second Ditto-l should
saw It's no trouble to keep the house
In order at all. I'm working for Il
bride and groom. and they never use
anything but the cozy corner.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
Too Much Levity.

Kilduff-For a bill collector young
Dunn displays considerable Ill timed
levity. Skidmore-In what way! Nil.
duff-When he comes after an account
he says cheerfully, did you want 10
see me todayI"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

Give us to awake with smiles; give
ne TO labor smiling. As the SIM bright
ons the world. so let our loving kind
ness make bright this house OF ouI
babitation. Louis Stevenson.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
The supply Held Out.

Tommy (at the supper table)-Now,
ma. may have a piece of chocolate
cake? You said might after the min
lister had taken three pieces. COS that
was enough for any man, saint or sin'
ner.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

The universal and absolute law Is
that natural justice which cannot lie
written down. but which appeals to tire
hearts Of all-Victor Cousin.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

~ Unless the number OF insef,
tions is marked upon the manu-.
script, advertisements will be pub.
lished until forbidden and charge
accordingly -----------.-
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
Deiiuauenf.

Does Dodsy put up with you when
he Il hercY' asked the travelling man
of the hotel clerk.
mo. He used to stop with US, but he
never put up cent"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
pr.cticed what He Preached.

Hills-Gruet says that he believes In
keeping In touch with his fellow men.
Mills-Well, there aren't many OF fEe:n
that ne hasrl't touched.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
Rhode island Reds.

Full blood Rhode Island Red Eggs
for sale at s1.O0 per setting 4 few
full blood cocks ct 8. &c each.
NJ. c. GRABILL.
Woodstock, Va.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
An Invitation.

Dick-You are such funny girl. l
never did know how TO take you. hiS
tv lcovly,-You never tried.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

Luck is a good enough thing to trust
TO after you've done everything eise W
invite success. City Times.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
His One Error.

Renham-I can't let you have any
money. I paid bill today. Mrs. Ben
ham-I thought you said you never
made mistakes.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
Farms Wanted

We want for some customers seve-
raj small farms, from % to 10 acres,
with IMPROVEMENTS, on or near
the Pike BETWEEN Woodstock and Mt.
Jackson. Persons having such places
for sale would do we'll to list them
with us at once. J. N. Davis & Co.,
Real Estate Agents,
Woodstock, Va.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

ghdys-Shall you marry Jack II
refuse him7 Maud-Yes. ana IL you
accept him!
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01

Hope writes the poetry OF the ooy
but memory that of the man.-Einer
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
A oood Small Farm For Sale.

contat.ing II acres Of land mostly lime
etore I, = acres Of which is In good original
tinIer. on which isa good log house % westnes- nes
$1,000 wi n NET al root and al otncr Noes
s"rv on,lui,dinVs in fairly good repair. The
n'sse i well wstered. and has plenty OF fruit
: situated miles south Of St. Luke, , va; "a
rice $s.W cSsn' nAVTs co ~
1aSei' Afp'' Woodstock Va.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-06-01
VALUABLE FARM
FOR. .SALF.

In Loudoun county containing $50
acres of land $50 acres of which is
cleared in high state of cultivation,
90 acres in Oak and Hickory timber,
275 acres in grass, fine timothy and
clover. The land is rolling and is
welled watered b branches in all
fields, and the entire farm is well fenc-
ed, new dwelling of rooms, halls
and porches, new barn 20x40 #, old
barn 4Ox40 #, % stalls, new black
smith shop, hen house and meat house,
l good tenant house, and 2 servants
cabins, good we'll of water in yard
and one in barn yard. The entire
farm is in HIGH STATE of cultivation,
having been farmed owner. ! mile
from Lunette p. o., miles from rail-
road at GAINESVILLE and convenient TO
stores, schools and churches.
Price go. per acre, on liberal pay
ments. Apply to rt
N. DAVIS & Co.
Real Estate Agents,
Woodstock, Va.
Arizona republican., 1906-01-20

geles Thursday. They will visit differ ent towns in California until the seth of the month when they will start on their return trip to Chicago. Accord ing to their announced itinerary they will reach this city on the morning of February first and remain here un- til noon when they will leave for Tue son and spend the afternoon there.
 The personnel of the delegation shows the party to consist of some of the most prominent merchants of Chi cago. They will travel in a train of special cars and the trip is being made for the purpose of visiting the mer- chants of the southwest with whom they have for several years been hay ing business relations.
 Those who will visit Phoenix are:
 James R. Baker-James F.. Baker & Co.,, commission merchants.
 c. r. Coffin-Credit manager IHi- nois Steel company, manufacturers.
 C. H. ssette-Cutter &, Crossette mems furnishers.
 Frank G. HaIl-Keith Bros. & Co, hats. caps and gloves.
 F. l.. Hasler-E. L. Hasler Co.. fruit commission.
 w. F. Hypes-Sales manager. Mar shall Field & CO., dry goods.
 " dry goods and jewelry novelties
 H. L. Sayler-General manager, City Press Association of Chicago.
 F. $. Shaw-President The Cable company, pianos and organs.
 H. C. Staver-President Staver Car riage company manufacturers.
 w. M. Secretary Kelley, Maus & Co. heavy hardware.
 Ralph Van Vechten-Vice President Commercial National bank.
 Fred A. Watson-WatsOn PIummer Shoe company, boots and shoes.
 s. E. WoOd-Wood Bros, live stock cOmmission.
 Tn addition to the above w M. Thompson, chairman of the associa- ton and w. F. Types, treasurer, ac- company the party. There will also be several representatives of the Chicago papers and news associations.
Arizona republican., 1906-01-20
FREE AS WATER
 WATER IS FREE
One Thousand Bottles to be Given
 Away Today.

Let people HOW drink water who ne'er
 have drunk before
 And those who used it sparingIy now
 use it all the more.
 Water is generally admitted to be better than whisky for some purposes, providing 1t is good water. And now that good water, water disposed of un- der the guarantee of a competent chemist, is placed within the reach of the common people" a lot more of it should be used. All this is introduce tory to the statement that McKee's cash store nas arranged to give away free today a thousand bottles of the kind of water referred to above. The water is from the Agua Caliente
Arizona republican., 1906-01-20
ADJUSTMENTS

Sparkling with large fund O.; original humor and neat dramatic con struction make MT. Plaster of Paris one of the brightest and funniest com edies in the whole range of plays There is q general conflict of interest among all the characters concerned, which is made very funny by the plots and counter plots which lead to in numerable complications that are ar ranged with such admirable skill that the final solution is concealed to the very last. The action is brisk and strong-the language terse and effect i've while the climaxes are thrilling and never fail to bring curtain calls. This play will be seen here for one night only, Tuesday. January 25. Seats oa sale at Sanichas, S1O0. 75c. and soc. Gallery 25c.
 Hello Bill' is an irresistible funny comedy which will be seen in Phoenix
Arizona republican., 1906-01-20
CHICAGO VISITORS
 WILL COME FEB. 1
The Itinerary and Personnel of the
 Party.

Mention has been made heretofore of the approaching visit of the dele gation of the Chicago Commercial as sociation to Phoenix on the occasion of their trip throu~h the southwest. The party left Chicago last Sunday and visited various points enroute west and passed trough Ash Fork to Los An
Arizona republican., 1906-01-20

one night only Monday, Jan. 9. at the Doris opera house. tI is well mount ed and well cast and the fun runs through the entire three acts. Hello
 Bill" will be seen here for the second
 time, its former visit occurring three or four seasons ago. but a comedy as full of scintillating wit as this is could
Arizona republican., 1906-01-20

The young man who takes "hs best" box of Donofrio's CrystalIzed Cactus Candy when he pays his call has gain ed her favor and has a very sweet" time.
Arizona republican., 1906-01-20

Springs in the western end Of this county. a resort notable for the cure of many diseases and the building up and renovating of the system even when there is no disease.
 Althee Modesti of Yuma, is the present owner of the springs and some time ago he built a hotel and made other Improvements tnere for the ben eft of patrons. He has now arranged for the bottling and placing on the market of the water To introduce it properly in Phoenix, ran agency has been established at McKee's cash store and today there will be given away a thousand bottles of the water, if so many are called for, the bottles being of the ordinary beer bottle size. All those suffering of rheumatism, blood disorders, or in fact anything for which a natural medicinal water Is likely to be beneficial, should either apply in person or send a messenger today to McKee's cash store and get a sample bottle at no cost whatever.
 The water was placed on exhibition at the Worlds Fair in St. Louis. where it took the silver medal and diploma. which was the highest award made. It is claimed for it that it's medicinal qualities equal those of any European spring. A careful analysis of the water shows the following properties in the respective amounts given, the basis of calculation being the parts in 1OO,- 0OO:
 Sodium chloride (common sait).. 32.OO Sodium carbonate ...... 5.30 Sodium silicate - SOP Sodium sulphate (glauber saIts). 15.0G Potassium sulphate ............ 1.57 Calcium sulphate (gypsum) 3.95 Magnesium sulphate (epsom salts) 1.62 Magnesium carbonate .. O.4G Iron and alumina. a........... O.30 I.ithium - . ........T Trace.
Arizona republican., 1906-01-20
Total

The Agua Caliente springs has been known as a health resort in this part of Arizona almost since the earliest settlement of the country, but only of late has there been much money spent or a great deal of effort made for the patronage of the health seekers. The people who knew about the springs and wanted to go there and try them were privileged to do so and there are many people in the country who have the springs to thank for renewed health and strength.
Arizona republican., 1906-01-20

make an annual visit an1 sill be well come. The bill is full of specialties throughout. Seats on sale e Sarichas' S100, 75cs 5ec. Gallery 25c.
 Some men look quite as miserable when they are away from home as they do when at home.-ChicagO News.
Arizona republican., 1906-01-20

Hello Bill' is an irresistible funny which will be seen in Phoenix
The Ordway new era., 1906-04-06
Fed by stomach lube.

For ten years before. his death ut
Kingston. In England. the other day n
man named Joseph Knight had not
eaten any food. Eleven years ago.
while on board the yacht Eliba at Cos
port, he accidentally drank some deter
gent in mistake for porter, with the re
suit that his gullet and other internal
organs were destroyed. He was placed
in the hands of an able surgeon. who
not only saved his life. but also en-
abled him TO live for more than ten
years in comparative comfort by
means of feeding through tube in the
side, leading directly TO his stomach.
1t is remarkable that though unable
to eat he could always enjoy smoke.
He was about forty years of age.
The Ordway new era., 1906-04-06

College Maiden writes to state
that they are about TO inaugurate haz-
ing at her seminary and wants a
recipe from us for good method.
My girl. you have come to the right
fourt for your knowledge, for 1t was
we who were the authors of all the
atrocities OF the Spanish lnquIsition.
Now. Sweet One. to begin with.
grab your unsalted female student
any dark. rainy Friday night and.
after tying her hands behind her back
with the stones of her rings turned
inward so they cannot be seen, stand
her before piece OF chewing gum
hung from n string Just out of reach
OF Ter face. After this put new hat
on her head and remove all the mir
rors from the room In order that she
may not see IL her hat is on straight.
II this appears too cruel 1t may be
eliminated. Then present her with a
The Ordway new era., 1906-04-06

I met a little microbe, twas the
microbe OF reform, and gazed upon
the little thing that's raising such a
storm.
This is the hardest kind of work
the little microbe said, "and some
times makes me wish | was just com
fortably dead. try to wake the peo'
pie up and note the awful way in
which the railroads In 4 year their
tens OF thousands slay; and sure
they get excited when | sting them
up. hat blame! their enthusiasm leads
tner to reform the football game.
Another lot OF people | infected
with the craze for the speedy
reformation OF the evils in their gaze
/ thought they'd work like beavers to
have lynchIng banned and haired.
but instead they passed measure
that makes hazing rather hard.
1T is tough upon a microbe that
is doing all he can to infect the keen
The Ordway new era., 1906-04-06
RECIPE FOR GIRL HAZIWC

handsome piece OF goods Just two
inches too short for making a dress.
This goods must be OF a kind that can
not be matched In any part OF the
world. Further. permit her to court
in room where the gas cannot be
turned low and make her wear n skirt
that cannot be lifted on rainy days,
but when this is done be sure and
see she is wearing costly and attract.
tive hosiery. After this make her re-
cite the "Cotter's Saturday Night"
with bunch OF hairpins in her mouth.
II. after all these pleasantries she still
survives. chain her to the floor OF a
department store with bargains all
about her that she cannot reach and
handle.
p. S.-we desire to inform henpeck
ed husbands that We will refuse abso
lutely to give any formulas for tor
turing cranky mother.in.laws.-New
York Press.
The Ordway new era., 1906-04-06
ALL THE CHINESE WORK

passengers and their servants. Moth.
Ing must compete with labor. Chair
coolies and the rikasha runners per.
form the services of horses and elec.
trio railways. The splendid roads IA.
cilitate the speed of the runners and
along the hillside and up TO It's top
macadamized paths penetrate every
habitable ledge and quarried shelf.
The great Chinese city is of absorb.
ing interest. Unlike any other native
city in all China. 1t is well built, com.
paratively clean. and characterized
by many European innovations. The
Chinaman is immutable We may not
change his mode of life, his habits
and philosophy, but the Englishmar
in Hongkong has taught him that
cleanliness is godliness: that II he
would escape the plague and the
scourge of disease he must eradicate
filth.
The Ordway new era., 1906-04-06

A few minutes later friend OF tho
inventor entered the office and found
him chuckling to himself as he bent
ever a drawing board.
You seem happy said the friend.
What's up?"
Il just sold my appliance for q
thousand dollars and got the money
cash down"
"A thousand dollars?' gasped the
friend in surprise. why. thought
you expected to get at least $4,000 fol
it."
so I did" replied the inventor;
but while the agent was dickering
with me all these days. hit upon an
improvement which will make the
first affair worth about thirty cents BY
comparison. I'm working out the
plans now