Middletown transcript., 1906-11-03
ITEMS OF INTEREST TO EVERYONE
Little Paragraphs That v III Interest Every
Member of the Household

e~@1~-a-lANA
i Holland has 92o miles Of canals.
i The cost Of London government i
seventeen millions yearly.
There are AIS stenographic systems in
use in the civilized world.
We need less advice on how to get a
Job and more on how TO hold one
Moving grain elevators from one town
to another is BOW frequently done.
One million and quarter Of men are
occupied in digging coal for The world.
II a man cannot make good at anything
else he is apt to make good excuses.
A Berkeley, CAL, man has invented
new language whicl, has no swear words
in it.
But when it comes TO expediting the
gas question with some effect the meter is
no sloucl.
Automobiles made for the German
army haul five to eight ton loads through
hilly country.
Steel needles were first made about
l545, when to make ten was days work
for man.
There will, according to James ]. Hills
estimate, be 2O0,0o0,OOo people in this
country in 1850.
All men are created free. II some Of
them want to get married and spoil it all.
that's their business.
In every mile of railroad there are z
feet and inches that are not covered by
the rail-the space left for the expansion
Though Miss Knipp is married she viii
keep on making guns instead OF going in
for stewpans and chatting dishes.
Under the new football rules there are
but sixteen ways to kill player scientifi-
cally and without fouling. There used to
be seventeen.
A Des Moines paper suggests for that
city the battle cry Shut up!' ''Clean upl'
Loosen upP' Other cities, however,
will cling to the old one, "Cough upp'
An explosion in California has just de-
stroyed 25.O00 gallons of wine. This
certainly puts Carrie Nations little
hatchet in the pork and beans class.
1t is reported that Connecticut genius
has discovered profitable use for bad
eggs. Can't imagine what it can be, un-
less it is to add tone to the character Of
limberger cheese.
A funny man says you cannot learn
how to kiss in correspondence school.
One dosn't have to learn how to kiss.
1t comes as natural as hugging basqu
pattern in a hammock.
Ashes combined with cement are being
used in Detroit for a new process brick
which is said to stand water and fire
tests. The new brick is ready to use in
FIVE days and is much lighter than terra
Gotta.
The country newspapers profess antag-
onism to the trusts, when they are the
biggest trusts in the country. 1t trusts
everybody, gets cussed for trusting, mis=
trusted for cussing and if it busts for
trusting gets cussed for busting. So
there you are.
Gee whiz, how the automobiles do go!
Near Buffalo recently an automobile was
driven 492 miles in four hours, or at an
average speed of 123 miles an hour.
That reminds us of the Kansas farmer
who was blown into the next country in
a fearful storm and where preacher
condoled with him saying, "God was
with you all the time" The farmer said,
"Well if he was, He was going some. !"
"You have appendicitis and lung
trouble, announced the physician, as he
peeped through the patient with his
X-ray apparatus; "also traces Of liver
complaint and mild form of dyspepsia;
also $2S.10 in your pocket. Ny fee is
$28. Here he turned off the current and
told the patient the examination was
over. tits all right, DOCTOR" said the
patient, "but it seems to me that you
have neglected an opportunity TO secure
ten cents and other things you mem
toned"
A married couple were coming out Of
the house and they were speeding down
the street, he dressed to kill and she
with hair pin in her mouth and doing
her best to pull on pair of refractory
gloves. "Why don't you dress in the
house, he growled. II would as soon
see woman put on her stockings in the
street as her gloves" Most men
would, ''she said sweetly, and then the
silence was so intense that you could
hear chocolate drop as they hurried to
catch the train.