Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-01-20
ON THE SLEEPING CAR
Types Of People Who Make a
Journey Unpleasant.
THE FELLOW WHO KEPT TAB
Put in His Time Watching the Rail-
road Schedules.
MAN WHO RECALLED WRECKS
The Convivial. Passenger and the
Drummer Who Wanted a Monopoly
on the Wash Room.
THE FELLOW WHO KEPT TAB
MAN WHO RECALLED WRECKS

Il had a forty-eight-hour ride in sleep
ing car last week." said washingtonian
who only goes away when he has to. Il
didn't mind the journey particularly 1t
didn't tire me any more than 1 had ex-
pected. I'd probably have landed back here
as fresh as a March dandelion If it hadn't
been for a
We'll, my most fatiguing travelling mate
was the man who Kept tab on the progress
of the train. You've met him. Everybody
has. His journey was almost as long as
mine, and as spent most of my time in
the smoking compartment. where he. too.
camped, there was no getting away from
him.
He had bunch of timetables and maps,
all bearing on and appertaining to the jour-
ney we were making. hefty as a horse
bugs collection of past performance dope
And he was there to see that the railroad
delivered the scheduled goods. He kept
the timetables and the maps spread out
on his lap most OF the time
We're four minutes late here he said
TO me at the first stop after he got aboard.
This railroad is joke, amt it?
Then, for the remainder OF the distance,
he began TO hold the watch on the railroad
doping out the time the train was making
by watching for the mile-posts and making
elaborate pencil calculations on the margin
of the maps.
Losing time constantly he repeated
dolefully at intervals. We've lost three
and two-thirds minutes in the last eighteen
miles. This railroad ought to be seized by
the United States government and then sold
at auction to somebody that knows how to
run q railroad
1--WE had hot-box wait of half an hour.
and the man who was there to see to 1t that
the railroad behaved looked as pleased as
If he'd caught pickpocket in the act of
mailing his watch.
"'What did l tell your he vIctorously
inquired of me. Didn't | say this railroad
was a bowling farce? Next stops Imply
vile. Wen get there an hour and fourteen
minutes late. Be good enough to remem-
Der my prediction, won't you, and see II
1 m not right?
when the train reached Umptyville just
an hour and thirteen minutes late he looked
as tickled as if somebody had come along
and slipped him a-dishpan full OF money.
Glowed With Triumph.
at guess I'm bad when it comes to get
ting the kibosh on a bum, hankypank, tight
waddish railroad like this one, hey? said he,
in perfect glow of triumph. Poor work.
that, hey, hitting it off to within minute?
Yo' can't fool me about these railroads
I'm there with the dope on en- When
they haul me anywhere they've got to show
me that they ever stick to their old sched-
ules.'
And he kept that kind of thing UP for
train. When, upon arriving at the town
where he got Off he found that his prog
nostication that the train would be Just
three hours and seventeen minutes late was
verified to within three minutes, he was
so elevated with pure glee that he wanted
me to get off and take a drink with him.
Before parting with him / couldn't resist
the temptation to ask him:
Twas the business that fetches you to
this place of so pressing a character that
you'll lose heavily by the lateness of the
train?
why, bless your soul, nor he replied,
right off the reel. L ve got more time than
money. But I just like to catch these
scoundrelly railroads in the act of detraud-
ing the public, that's all. Like to stick a
spike in their pretenses that they're ever
on time with any of their old trains.
wouldn't have cared If they hadn't got me
here till next Tuesday week, for that mat
ter. 1t would only have made my case
against EN- so much the stronger
Irritating person, that. But, after all,
he wasn't so much worse than the solemn
visaged man in the smoking compartment
for a large part of the distance who en-
joyed talking about railroad wrecks.
There was an appalling wreck on this
line-well. it wasn't so far from where the
train is right now, either-about a couple
of years ago. he would say, in essence, at
frequent intervals in the smoking compart-
ment talk. Misplaced switch, 1 believe.
The employees Of this road are noted for
their -eaFelessness. Well, sirs, the train
ran into the misplaced switch in the dead
of night Engine ran into the caboose Of
freight train standing on a siding, and
was smashed to flinders. Wasn't any more
left of the engineer and fireman than you
could sweep into q boys size hat. Express
car and NATL car reduced to splinters, and
all the men on those cars, when they were
pulled out, wouldn't have made over into
one complete man.