The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-06-02

him one on the head that sent him
down for the count. Pete tore around
till the job was done satisfactorily
and called for a highball then and
there. When he had nearly finished
it, he took the leavings and threw
them into the scraggly whiskers OF
the janitor, who was standing there
goggling at him, which shows how
popular janitors were even in that
day. Then Pete put his arms around
Kate's neck, right there in church
and kissed her, so it sounded like a
cow pulling her feet out of a swamp.
Talk about a Newport monkey dinner
that Pete boy had Harry Lehr look
ing like piece of poundcake that had
been rained on.
And maybe the old gossips weren't
dripping at the mouth.
After they'd got home to Baptista's
house, Pete said:
We'll, folks, it's clever of you to see
me through this way, and 1 want you
to have nice time at this wedding
dinner. / can't stay myself. | make
it rule never to stay at my wedding
dinner. Come on Kate; let's trek for
home"
'Nit-ovitch for Katey," said the
pleasant girl, recovering her breath,
which she had misplaced during that
all kinds-of a wedding ceremony.
Take your old buds and hike. Skidoo
for yours; but it's camping here with
pa for mine. | know which side of
my uneeda has the oleo on, and after
nj rin or hn in Or
house l have a full view of my finish
if go home with you. On your way.
Beat it,"
After you, me maple dip. These
other four-fushers may go and eat as
you tell them or chase themselves
violently and frequently around the
block-it's optional. You hit the trail
with me; see? You're my mule
team, my back-forty, my saw-mill, my
insurance policy, my automobile, my
yacht, my set Of parlor furniture, my
cabinet organ-you're any old thing
that's my property. I'll move you
same as if you were baby grand.
Get me? Come on with your loving
husband or I'll knock your block Off.
She went. That's the way a woman
loves to be managed.
Going home, the knee-sprung horse,
Kate was on, took a stumble for him
self, sent Kate in mud hole, and lay
down on her to rest. 1t was a horse
on Kate. Pete gave his servant a
licking while Kate lay there and tried
to remember the stitch of a chair tidy
she had been crochetting last week.
Finally, she got up, coaxed Pete to
quit whipping the boy, while he cuss-
ed her out, and the horses ran. away.
He gave all the servants what-fOr
when he got home, and everything
that was brought to the table he sent
back and raised Cain over. Of course
Kate wasn't hungry, after all that trip
without any wedding dinner, and any
thing looked good to her. BIT not
one bit did she get, any more than
| if she had been at the third table at
a clearinghouse, till she could have
eaten a 25-cent tobble dote meal and
almost digested it. Between meal
times Pete lectured her on how to be
good and gentle, till the neighbors
twelve blocks away thought a univer-
| sity extension course had been start
ed in the town.
When the tailor brought in dresses
and things that had been ordered for
Kate, Pete said the things looked as
if they had been cut out with dull
ak by moonlight, and sent them back
Kate didn't have any more chance to
beef than man has to talk at a
pink tea, and she was getting pretty
sick of ragchewing. Probably be,
tween pains in her otherwise empty
stomach, and her tiredness of hearing
a constant rumpus, she had few lit
tie lunches that maybe she hadn't
been any human sunbeanA herself
More than likely. For within three
days she'd agree with her husband, no
matter what he said, and was about
the most bridayswise girl ever.
When he was fully convinced that
she was all to the meek and lowly
and would stay broke, Pete gathered
her up and took her back home, where
| they had bully good time and Kate
began making herself more unpopular
than ever by prating around to other
women about their duties to their
husbands
Moral-A reformed nuisance is only
different kind of nuisance.