davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

If a wise man were asked what was
the greatest fault Of the American peo-
pie he would have to say that it was
the belief that laws can be framed that
will execute themselves. If a man is
at the head Of a great business estab-
lishment he makes a multitude Of rules
and regulations for the economical and
expeditions conduct Of the business,
but he never dreams that if these rules
and regulations are only wisely drawn
he can dispense with all personal
watchcare and all exercise of his au-
thority from day to day and hour to
hour. When it comes to governing
city, a State or a Nation this same man
is a wholly different person. Public
officers are only the peoples employees,
but he thinks they will all attend to
their business if only the laws and
ordinances are wisely drawn. Even
when he sees that the interests Of the
community are betrayed and sacrificed
by these officials his first and only
thought is that the laws are to blame.
Now, there never were any laws that
would execute themselves. Under a
monarchial form of government the
laws are always we'll executed because
it is to the interest Of the monarch to
execute them. Under a democratic
form Of government the power to exc
cute is ASSOCIATED from the interest in
execution. 1t is in low sense to the
interest of public officers not to exc
cute the laws and the people stand in
the position Of the monarch. They are
the sufferers if the laws are not exc
cuted and the laws will never be exc
-outod -unloss thoy- use TIE greatest dill
gence In watching and diSciplining their
officials. This is something the Amer
lean people are too lazy or Indifferent
or preoccupied to do. There is not an
evil in society that they could not rem
edy through existing laws if they were
not too lazy or selfish to undertake it.
Being hopelessly lazy and Indifferent,
they propose to cure everything by
new law. 1t is just as If a sea cap
tain should undertake to navigate the
ocean by a revision of the navigation
laws without setting a watch at night
or keeping a man at the wheel.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

a folding umbrella which can be in
stantly compressed into a small space
and packed inside of the dress suit
case. 1t is not unlike an ordinary UNI
brella; in fact, the construction Is al
most identical. The rod of this fold
ing umbrella is made in two sections
the upper section is tubular; the lower
section being smaller in diameter, fit
ting inside Of the tubular part. To fold
the umbrella the catch at the end OF
the tubular rod is released and the
lower part of the handle pushes into
the upper section. The balance of the
umbrella is then released in the Ordi-
nary way and the whole folded togeth-
er and packed away. In fact, the UNI
brella is so small when folded it can
be very conveniently carried in the back
trousers pocket.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20
TO THE AID OF ANGELIQUE

Three of the four Archambeau sis
tiers were graceful and comely. The
fourth was decidedly unprepOSsessing.
yet it was the unlovely Angelique whom
widowed Victor LaPlant led to the al
tar. His neighbOrs did not hesitate to
ask the reason for so strange a choice.
"Why," demanded Denise Malotte,
'do you tax dose soch ugly Angelique
wen you have honly to ask to get T'ere-
sa, Marie OF Babette?"
Ssh! 1 tole you," confded Victor.
'You obsairve cette jOlie Marie? YO1
see her hon dance, maybe? Fi-seex
boy benin her hall de taime. You
tank she got some bodder for get mar
ry? Non, Denise She can get us
band seven taime ever week eef she ees
wish to.
''You see dat Teresa? You eat SOM
ting he ees cook, hey? She ees cook
more better dan SOM chef hon beeg
hotel. All dose widow mans hon desc
town go crazy to got marry by Teresa,
she can cook so moch to excel. Plainly
good man ever'w'ere for dose so smart
Teresa.
''NOw look you, madame on Babette.
How ees she go for strike your eye?
Poorly good, hey? Wat you tank about
hees two leetle hands? Poorly smart,
hey? Max dress lax modiste, chapeau
lax miIlinaire Max plenty money, too.
Poorly good femme for somebody, hey?
Lots garcon be proud for got dose so
clevaire Babette.
"Our, madame. 1 tole you wy 1 am
pass by dose odder tree. Consider now
cette pauve Angelique. Behol' how she
ees de one laig more longer dan de cd
der. BehoP how she ees squint hon his
eye. Behor how she ees los his hair.
Behol' how she ees tick hon his waist.
Not moch for look at, hey?
''Som'taime you have eat de biscuit
of Angelique? Poorly good for bullet
for shoot Caribou Som'taime you see
de sewing work of Angelique? Maybe
SOM day she ees fall out between de
stitch!
'You tank, madame SOM gal lax dat
find eet easy for hobtain SOM 'usband?
Non, Denise, for Angelique eet ees hal
most impossible to max de marr' age.
Wherefore 1 TAX her; I save her dose
troub."
"W'at! You say 1 hask hall dose Cd
der gal first? Taisez-vOus, Denise. Eeef
Angelique ees hear you speak dat she
nes rose all dose single off ma shain-
tV"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20
SAVED BABY LYONS LIFT

Awful Sight from that Dreadful
plant, Infanti1e Eczema-Mot
Praises Cuticura Remedies.
"Our baby had that dreadful
plant, Infantile Eczema, which a
ed him for several months, com
cling at the top of his head, and a.
covering his whole body. His s.
ings were untold and constant mi
in fact, there was nothing we
not have done to have given hir
lief. We finally procured full
the Cuticura Remedies, and In
three or four days he began to
a brighter spirit and really lau
for the first time in a year. In
ninety days he was fully recov
Praise for the Cuticura Remedie;
always been our greatest pleasure
there is nothing too good that we
say in their favor, for they cert
saved our baby's life, for he wa
most awful sight l ever beheld
to the treatment of the Cuticura ]
dies. Mrs. Maebelle Lyon, 1926 I
ton Ave, Parsons, Kan, July IS,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20
PIcKPocKETs OF LONDON.
This Is Declared to BE a MisnOmer-
Cutpurse the Word.

This Is Declared to BE a NIisnOmer-
Cutpurse the Word.
The special notice, printed in unus-
ually large letters, which now warns
people in some Of the tube lifts to be-
ware Of pickpockets suggests that it Is
time to revive the term "cutpurse, y
which would be much more appro-
pirate to these days of hanging bags
and no pockets, says the London Ch1on-
icle. In the sixteenth century our vo-
cabulary was far richer than it is COW
in terms of this kind, especially the
thieves own vocabulary. With them q
"hoyster" was a pickpocket, and a
''nupper'' was a pickpurse or a cut
purse. To "syft" was to rob a shop
or a house; and to shave" according
to an old account of these matters, was
to take a cloak, a sword, a silver
spoon, or such like that is negligently
looked unto" Most of these words were
once to be found at Smart's Quay in
legend written over a house of pick
pockets-an original Fagin's den:
Isl spie sporte, 81 non spie, tune
steale.
Isl spie, 81 non spie, hyste, nyppe,
lyfte, shave and spare not"
With the history of the highway rob-
berry of centuries behind us, we should
not feel surprised at the passive atti-
tude of the robbed toward the robber
in the recent California outrage. Who
has ever heard or wished to hear of the
traveller who showed so little sense of
romance as to resist the charming lie
mands of a Robin Hood, a Claude Du-
val, or a Dick Turpin? To follow pre-
cedent, we should at once write a bal
lad about the California masked vii
lain and hand him down to posterity
as the last flash Of chivalry in a pro-
sale age. The principal cause of such
adulation has always been the person
ality of the man himself, full of that
mixture Of humor, daring, courtesy and
respect for women that turned him
from a common thief into gentleman
of the road"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20
WHY WE: DO SOME. THfNes.


Certainly Not Because We. Look
Pretty When We Do Them. .
A man does not take off his hat to a
lady because he looks nicer without it.
The instance of bald men would be
alone sufficient to upset such an ex-
PLANTATION.
He does it because you must posi-
lively do something when you meet a
lady or your whole civilization goes to
pieces, and taking off your hat is easier
than taking off your necktie or lying
face downward on the pavement.
The primary point is that you must
do something, not that you must do
something beautiful. And as long as
cultivated people cannot grasp this fact
they will find their efforts quite futile
in dealing with what they often con-
slider the dullness of the middle classes
or the vulgarit yand morbidity of the
poor.
In so far rs the bourgeois thinks it
more important to wear Sunday hat
than q becoming hat he is perfectly
right. 1t is more important; the relig-
ion Of the tribe is more important than
the pretty appearance Of Mr.. Jones.
In SO far as the charWOman thinks il
more important that her husband
should have a proper" funeral than a
pretty funeral she is perfectly right. It
is more important. DecOrum is as per-
manent a human sentiment as art and
much more pressing one. Any healthy
savage would understand the charwom-
ans sentiments exactly and perhaps
alarm her with demonstrations of bar
barrie approval.
He would also understand perfectly
the sentiment of a Sunday hat. l be
Iieve in savages myself. think that in
a great many matters they represent
the enduring common sense and moral
minimum of humanity. There is moth
ing which I so sincerely respect in saw
ages as their widespread and generally
ascertained disposition to wear top
hats.-London Illustrated News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

George Grenfell, who died recently
In Africa, was one of the great eXplor-
ers. He wrote no book, and was of late
years little known in America or Eng
land. Almost all record of him is con-
fined to missionary periodicals, the re-
ports of the Baptist Missionary Society,
which he served for thirty years, and
the records of the Royal Geographical
Society. Next to Stanley and Living
stone, he was the most important
geographer and explorer of Africa. He
traced the Congo and made the draw
ings on which the present standard
maps are used. Twenty years ago the
Royal Geographical Society gave him
the Royal medal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20
Satisfied Them All.

Aunt Panthea Brooks lived in
tie New Hampshire village very
years without quarreling with ar
and was so thoroughly liked by
one for miles around that her pc
ity excited the interest of a 81
visitor.
"Aunt Panthea," he asked, "hol
that you keep on such good terms
every one, while they are all qr
ing among themselves"
"Well," said Aunt Panthea, "be
you aren't to stay here long T.
you. When 1 go down the str
meet Jason Purdy, and he says,
Panthea, how well you look =
"T'm glad you think so, Jas
say, smiling at him.
"Next minute up comes Ezry
cut.
"'Well, now, Panthea,' he says
porely you are looking this year.
"'My land, Ezry,' 1 say, how
you are to notice those things
$50 it is with everything.
who like to think one way, I ],
think it, and those who like to
the other, l let 'em think it."
Who can deny that Aunt p;
had discovered a comfortable p
ply of Iife:-Youth's Companion
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

pie. No enemy to society ever attacked
the fundamental welfare of the nation
more directly than the thieves who by
conspiracy and fraud got possession Of
land rightfully belonging to the govern
ment and It's homemakers. Every one
will applaud the quiet, effective work Of
Secretary Hitchcock in running the
thieves into prison and causing to be
instituted the suits which will restore
to the people millions Of acres of land.
The feeling of security which the pun
dshment Of the offenders and the proven
ton of further offenses brings to home
steaders and government officials will
have a good effect on the future of irrl-
CATION. Heretofore many have looked
with suspicion on plans that would ap-
parently enrich the entire section, but
which honest settlers, taught by bitter
experience, have felt might be merely
schemes for the enrichment Of specula-
tors. The more reclaimed land, the
greater the plumber for dishonest op-
orators. Henceforth there will be less
opposition to the work Of irrigation, for
the hard blows delivered to the thieves
have given assurance that irrigation Is
for the benefit Of the homemaker. Not
only have many of the unlawful holders
been dislodged, but conspiracies for fur
Their robbing of the people have been
disclosed and defeated. Not all the
malefactors have been reached yet, but
there is no doubt that the work of pun
ishment and restoration will be pushed
until the last acre Is taken from the
dishonest holder.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20
LOOSE TEETH

Made Sound by Eating Grape
Proper food nourishes every I
the body, because Nature selec
different materials from the fC
eat, to build bone, nerve, brain
Gle, teeth etc.
All we need is to eat the rigE
of food slowly, chewing it we.
digestive organs take it up in
blood and the blood carries
through the body, to every LITTLE
and corner.
If some one would ask yol
Grape-Nuts good for loose f
you'd probably say, "No, l dol
how it could be-" But a won
Ontario writes:
For the past two years hay
Grape-Nuts Food with most ex
results. 1t seems to take the pl
medicine in many ways, builds
nerves and restores the health
ally.
"a little Grape-Nuts taken
retiring sOothes my nerves and
sound sleep" because it relic
ritability Of the stomach nerves
a predigested food
Before l used Grape-Nuts m,
were loose in the gums. They i
bad l was afraid they would sol
all fall out. Since l have used
Nuts 1 have not been bother,
more with loose teeth.
"All desire for pastry has dis;
ed and I have gained in
weight and happiness since I b,
use Grape-Nuts." Name e2
Postum Co, Battle Greek. Nj
the famous little book. 'vFlIe
WeIIgnle," in pkgs. There's a
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

and supplemental ring. The advant-
age of the supplemental ring should be
apparent at once Everybody has enc
key-generally the one for the front
door-which is greatest in evidence. If
he has a dozen or so more. he is COM
PEELED to look through them all every
time it is necessary to open the front
door. With this key ring it is un-
necessary to do this. He places the
door key on the supplemental ring and
the remainder on the other ring. In
this way the door key is instantly
found, a distinct advantage to the man
who likes to wander home in the early
hours Of the morning.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20
NERVOUS DEBILITY
a Scranton. Woman Tells How g
Williams Pink Pills Made Her
Well and Strono.

Nervous debility is the common mar
for what the doctors term neurasthen,
1t is characterized by mental depressic
hts OF the "blues," or melancholy, Il
OF energy and spirits. The patient e.
become dull, the pink fades from {
cheeks, the memory becomes defective
that 1t is difficult to recall dates a
names at will. Some of these symptO
only may be present or all of them.
remedy lies Ill toning up the nerv.
system and there is no medicine be-
adapted for this purpose than
Williams Pink Pills.
Mrs. Jane J. Davies, OF No. 314 Y
rem street, Scranton, Pa, says: IS
years ago became greatly reduced
health and strength and my nery
system became so debilitated that
wretched. could. not rest or sleep
at night and woke up rs weary
languid in the morning as I was WI
went to bed. My head ached III
morning and often there was pal
my right side which was worse WI
sat down. My nerves were on eds
the time, every little noise bothere
and I was generally miserable. T.
decided to try DR.. Williams Pink
for Pale People, as my husband hadt
them with good results, and they
wonders for me. Now / have no
pain i'll my side, no more headacl
sleep well and feel strong and al
do my work"
DIR. Williams Pink Pills cured
Davies and they can do just as
for other weak, pale, ailing me
women who are slipping into no,
decline. They strike straight at tn
of all common diseases caused by
and impoverished blood.
DR.. Williams Pink Pills are sold
druggists, or will be sent postpai
receipt of price, 80 cents per boz
boxes for 50. so, by the DIR. Will
Medicine Co., Schenectady, NY.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20
Looked Like a Turtles Head.

Collin Butler was an old colOred
ditch-digger on the farm of we'll
known land owner in Virginia. One
morning, after having been at work
only a few hours, Collin was seen ap-
preaching the farmhouse with unusual
rapidity and with a peculiar limp to MS
usually dragging gait.
His employer met him, and sad,
"ColIin. what IS the matter?"
With moan and a sob he exclaimed,
''Lor', massa! l fought see de biggest
turkle haid l ever did see befo' in my
life, wiggling fro de mud, an l took
de spade an whacked ut dat haid, an
| done cut off nah big toe"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

At the top is a small box arrange
ment for holding the soap Directly
below is a depending arm, made of
spring wire, the end Of which is shaped
to firmly grip the handle Of the toilet
brush. On each side of the soap box
are small spring wire extensions, into
which the toothbrushes, handles up, are
conveniently placed. The entire holder
is mounted on a wooden base, which
can be readily placed in any place de-
sired. All of the wire parts being
nickel-plated, there is no danger from
rust
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

In the days when eight hours for
sleep was nOminally regarded as an
hour too long for any self-respecting
individual the eXhausting character Of
modern life was unknown. There was
less wealth and more contentment, less
competition and more security, fewer
distractions, but more simplicity. The
modern man is subject to as much men
tai and moral wear and tear in a day
as his ancestors in no very remote
generation experienced In a week. Yet
In respect of sleep we have hardly
changed traditional habit We keep
later and still later hours. We catch
our trains in the morning as usual.
There is no doubt whatever that we
burn the candle rs both ends with I'M
precedented disregard of the laws of
psychological economy and that the
amount of rest we allow for nerve and
brain is no longer adequate.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

cuted Chopin polonaise with consid-
cradle spirit, but with a decided lack
of accurate aim.
There" he said, turning to the
young lady's brother for sympathetic
enjoyment, when the last echo had died
away, that's what l call a finished
performance!
Eyes, indeed" said the brother, with
fervor. Sometimes there are three or
four movements to her pieces"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

In Pennsylvania there is a demand
for the Imprisonment Of the directors
who permitted a bank president to
wreck the institution without their
knowledge. The directors are, of
course, surprised to learn that they
were expected to direct.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

common, circular
ring has been used
so long that any
other shape i'm
mediately attracts
attention. just to
show that they
can be improved to
advantage, atten-
ton is directed to
the one illustrated
below. Instead Of
a single ring, the
inventor provides
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

by a Philadel-
phian. 1t has all
the appearance Of
an article that is
very badly needed.
AS a rule tooth
and toilet brushes
are not kept in as
sanitary a condi-
ton as they should
be. With this at
tachment such a
thing should be
impossible. The
holder is construct
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

A rich man who arrived at New York
from Europe the other day disembarked
without saying his trip had made him
a better American. Naturally he at
once became famous.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

1t is reported that an American col
lege which has just built new swim
ming tank will require all students to
take the course in swimming. This sort
of prescribed course will be popular.
Almost any person may be put in a
place where his own life and the lives
of others depend on his ability to swim,
and everybody should know how.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

with an umbrella.
The latter is one
of the most I'm
handy things to
carry with a dress
suit case or trav-
cling grip. The
umbrella natural
ly protrudes at
both ends of the
suit case, catches
here and there, and
is in every way an
annoyance to its
owner. The re-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

A woman philosopher in the West
says that marriage Is a mere incident
In the life of man. True enough; but
abe must admit that it Is usually a
pretty exciting incident.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20
Swallowing His Knife.

STERLING was telling me he saw sou
il restaurant yesterday" remarked
Knox.
Yes" remarked the new-rich Kad-
ley, and | cut him dead. Did he tell
you that?"
NO, but he said he was afraid al
the time you'd cut -Phi!a-
delphia Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

'sThe worst thing that America sends
fn London 10 the cigarette" says Lon
don Truth. But it Is not half as bad
as the cigarette-sucking "noblemen"
London sends to America.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

'sThe man who kicks without cause
is a common liar" says Uncle Joe"
Cannon. Likewise an uncommon idiot,
Ezhen there are so many good causes for
kiclino
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

Because she is unable to get a pair
of ready-made shoes that are large
enough to fit her a girl has had to post
pone her wedding. Ladies with large
feet ought always to have new shoes
ready for emergencies.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20
Wares IN bombay.

In Bombay cotton mills an average
worker, laboring thirteen hours q day.
earns about p cents 4 day. That is in
mills equipped with tie best modern
machinery and built in tie most ap-
proved style.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

1t is not surprising that Mr.. Rookie
Teller dislikes newspaper headlines.
They have customarily been hard lines
for Rockefeller and his interests.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

The Cuban revolutionists are a good
deal like the hives. They generally
break out somewhere else as soon as
the patient thinks he has them cured.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

A university professor claims 1t is
possible to live without brains. He has
probably examined the fellow who rock
ed the boat.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

A German count has wisely spurned
his aristocratic honors to become an
American chauffeur. He wants to be a
real autOcrat.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

The worst thing we know about this
phonetic spelling is that it viii enable
those who can't spell, and who never
did spell. to prove tina they have al
ways been right.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

You can't get even with a doctor by
returning his calls.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

1t cost more to live last year than
during any previous year since 1899.
But, after all, it was worth the price.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

An actress who hasn't at least one
Plttsburg millionaire can hardly be con-
sidered q success.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

1t Is easy, perhaps, for a poor man to
be happy, but it Is a great deal easier
Cor him merely to be good.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-20

The New York newspaper man who
e to marry a rich girl may be poor
reporter without being a poor reporter