Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1906-02-17

Essa7a 81 49, ssass...-.esutSS
4 Scotsman the other day went to Il
London dentist With toothachc. The
dentist told him he would only get re-
lief Ivy having il out.
Scot-AlOn. then | must haze gas"
While the dentist WAS getting it
ready the Scot began to count his
nancy. Tie dentist said. somewhat
testify. you nce;i not pay until it's
out
The scot replied: 81 ken that; but as
ye'rc ABBOTT IL max me unconscious, 1
just want to see hoo STAN"
DR.. William Osltl is always exceed
ingly precise in his directions to pa
tients. He relates an experience
which q brother practitioner once had
which illustrates the dangers Of lack
Of precision.
a young man one day visited this
doctor ana described common mall
adv that had E~failen him.
The thing for YOU 10 do the
physician said. ''is to drink hot water
an hour before blrallfast every morn
ing"
The patient took his leave. and in
week returned.
well. how are you fcelingoo" the
physician asked.
Worse. doctor: worse. if anything"
was the rclIy.
"Ah. Did yoU follow my advice and
drink lot water an hour before break
fast?"
Il did my lest. sir" said the Young
man, "but I couldn't keen il up more'n
tcn minutes at n stretch. W oman's
Homo Companion.
Edward Everett Hale said law
Yer. twas enc Of the guests al Il mill
lionaire's dinner.
"1he millionaire WAS 4 free srender
but he wanted Il flIi credit for every
dollar put out.
And, rs the dinner progressed he
told his guests what The more expen-
sive dishes mao cost. He dwelt es-
recialiy on the expense of the large and
beautiful grapes. each bunch Il foot
long. each grape bigger than plum.
lie told, down to a benny, what he had
figured it ont that the grapes had cost
him apiece.
'"rhe guests lacked annoyed. They
ates The expensive gr3pcs charity. But
~. Hale. smiling, extended his plate
and said
'WoHd you mind cutting me off
about $1.S1 worth more. please New
York Tribune.
Representative John sharp Williams
tells OF the difficulties encountered by
a darby preacher in mississippi in en-
dedv"firs: to Snatch Il brand from the
burning" in thV shape of one Nose
Baker, VIII" steadily refused to attend
divine service.
The preachers arguments were met
liy Il discouraciES silence on the part
OF Nose. Finally the later con-
descended to sneak to the extent OF
asking question. "Wot are we all
heah for" hc gr@Wled morosely.
eve is hcah to help oddcrs. Moses"
responded the old cIcrGyman. 4 kindly
smile Illuminating. his dusky features.
EFF OATS So" added Moses. with
malici"usly triumphant grin, "wot is
da oddels heah fcr?''
y friend Of the inventor says that
Thomas y. Edison is very fond of
smoking, but that sometimes he be-
comes - absorbed in work that he
even iorgcts that he has cigar in his
mouth.
Mr.. Edison once complained to 4
man in the tobacco business that he,
the Inventor, cuuld not account for the
rapidi;y With which the cigars disap-
Feared from box that he always Kept
III his Office. The "Wizard' was not
inclined TO think that he smoked them
I'll himself. FINALLY. he asked the
tonacco man what might be done to
remedy the situation.
The latter suggested that he make
mp some cigars fake" them. in other
Words-With u Wcl-known label on the
outside
I'll ill 'cm with horsehair and hard
ruabor," said he. "'Thrn you'll find
that there viii not be 50 many miss
ing
"All right" said Mr.. Edison, and he
forgot all about the matter.
Several weeks later. when the to-
bacco m@n was again calling on the in
yentor, the latter suddenly said:
"Lool5 here! honght You We're 60
ing to fix me up some fake cigars."
why. [ did, exclaimed the other,
in hurt surprise.
"When?"
"hon't Won remember the fiat box
with Il green labcl--cigars in bundle
form. tied with yellow ribbon"
Edison smiled refectively. "DO you
know" ne finally said. in abashed
tones 81 smoked every one of those
cigars myself,''-Saturtlay Evening
Post.
Senator nnnow was explaining 10 4
clergyman tho slang term, 80 film
fam"
..fHD HiI H..r, L. 10, fIls,c.