New-York tribune., 1906-05-19
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

In country where there ade many parties an
election must be just bit confusing to the voter
In the French election. for instance. candi-
dates represented not the various parliamentary
factions merely, but compounds Of them. There
were Anarchist milliOnaires." Nationalists op-
posed to the army and Socialists favoring the
Church. One candidate announced himself as
Il am excellent compound of Nationalist eau
de vie and Pacihste' black currant brandy"
Nor were the promises Of candidates less
beautiful than their designations. Socialist. for
instance offered a free theatre ticket to every
body If he was only sent TO the Chamber. He did
not, however. explain who were to have the best
seats. Perhaps he proposed to build theatre
all pit that preference should be shown.
Another Of the same ilk wanted to uproOt the
chestnuts and the planes from the bOulevards and
plant thereon fruit bearing trees.
Gratitude.-The dark lantern flashed through the
Hands up!' hlssed the head Of the family.
.!Y-yes.' gasped the intruder as he faced the
cold steel,
''YOur wife's pug dog"
"H'ml Er-if that's all. you may sneak out
X6d Xad your Gon;t motRsr-Raw7 10th; %aH J2 parrot
change"
GOOD! Here's some more loose change"
ALSO your sons punching bag
What? Gre Great Scott. man. come out to the ice
will be some peace in this fiat from now on
Chicago News.
m. A. p" tells this story Of the survivals Of
other days in the rural parts OF England King
Edward was motoring one occasion with the
present Lord MOntagu near Lymington. which Is
close 70 the MOntagu seat, and when the car
driven by Lord Montagu, then heir to the barony-
reached the gate 1t suddenly closed with the
observation from the keeper: mo Won don't! Two
Of your sort have rushed the gate already to-day
and I'm not gOin' to be had again." His majesty
-sna1 uk o16
which amounted to sixpence. was paid: but the
keeper never believed the time OF his death
which occurred only few days ago. that he ''once
held up the King
Recently young man at Shawnee asked cash
Cade II he would advise a youthful aspirant for
Rontica =, 9O9STs 9a 70 STUDY law as stepping stone
plains Of Red River and answered: mo! Not by
to begin By catching wolves "EWatonsas 0EIaj SitEG
Republican.
''ElectrObus' Is a word that is likely to be ac-
cepted in London. where it Is now in common use
'The London Chronicle has this to say of similar
verbal hybrids: "The last edition of Webster has
had TO admit 'electrOcute' Cunder protest as a
newspaper world, although the final syllable of the
Latin participe 'secUtus' borrowed from execute
is meaningless the final syllable Topped from
omnibus Even before that 'electrolier' had forced
It's way in, with its barbarOus IieF' from 'chande-
lier' in which the Il belongs 20 the candle part
seem to be inevitable, though electro itself means
only amber. and should. strictly. be electrico' in
such compounds"
One OF the state legislators entered an Albany
restaurant last evening and ordered pOFterhOuse
appeal TO him as being sufficiently cooked. He
would you kindly take this back 70 the cook
and tell him to broil Il a little more %
"Surel' replied he OF the white coat This is how
the polite request was handed to the cook:
Say, Bill, that tat guy backed away from this
It's all up with you and your little pots Get
calling you by your real name SeeT'-Albany
Journal
This story is told Of Judge Dale. OF Wichita. Kan.
The Judge is OF the best golfers in his part of
Kansas. One day he had a case on trial in which
several small boys had been subpunaed as Wit
nesses. Addressing a bright youth OF about twelve
summers, Judge Dale sOlemnly inquired: 'sNfv ho,,
do you understand the nature OF an Oath2'
"Oh. yes. SIR" quickly replied the youth ssT
often caddied fOT yOu sir
II presume you spend all you maker"
mo, don't spend tenth OF It.
Then you must have nice little balance In the
bank?''
''Nope not a cent"
shake old chap. I'm married myself.'-FIouston