Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-20
Continued.
CHAPTER NXNI.

Continued.
$50 I thought" said uncle Sam
"but'-breaking off suddenly and pur'
suing another line of thought-"mar-
riage Is the most discussed yet least
understood of human institutions.
Though women so greatly outnumber
men, good wives are us scarce as good
husbands. OF course nothing can coun-
terbalance tho want OF good personal
qualities in eiti,er husband or wife. but
there can be nc matrimonial paragon
who is unfurniShed with dollars. | re-
member in my salad days. soon after
settled in this country, Van Rensse'
laer and | once amused ourselves by
making some Investigations as to the
condition of the marriage market"
what dc. you mean. sam" asked
aunt Gertrude, looking up from her
work.
About twenty years ago" continued
my uncle, there lived in Rivington
street New York, matrimonial agent
who used to advertise in the daily
papers that he was prepared to supply
wives of every desirable quality to
gentlemen Of unbemished honor and
respectable means, while OF course
his usefulness to ladies weary of sin-
Gle blesscdness was equally great. TO
this professors office Van Rensselaer,
and l one day betook ourselves, and
each planked down a fee of So, which
the agent, with a grateful smile. made
haste to appropriate
"What induced you to be so foolisl:'
asked my aunt.
"SpOrt. my dear Gertie. sport; moth
ing more, assure you" said uncle
Sam.
"Well. what sport could you llnd
in giving your money to a cheat:'
Every much; my S. were well in
vested. Admission to the agents office
alone was worth the fee. Ha! ha! |
remember the place to this day. and
uncle Sam rccined his head on the
back Of his chair and chuckled.
"What was the place like:" | in
quired.
SIT was a fairly well-furnished
Office" said uncle Sam. ''The walls
were covered with shelves, on which
stood letter cases and japanned tin
boxes. In Il corner of the office, Oh an
elevated platform, bald-headed old
fraud of about sixty, the proprietor
<,f %ln ,,1o ut n IpSlr lipntifnlIV
spread with ledgers. Packets of let
ters, held together by rubber bands,
and piles of photographs, lay about i'll
confusion. while close TO the door stood
| large table strewn with writing ma
terials and printed forms whereOn eli
ents might cOncisely state their quail
fications and requirements
did the agent show you any of the
photographs" asked Constance.
Dozens of them. One lady in par
tlcular | remember he recommended
as a very suitable wife for me, his rec
Ommendation being based chiefly on
the fact that she was an English
woman, who, having passed the first
blush of her youth Ga statement which
nobody who glanced at her photograph
would for a moment question:, was
free of the frivolities which usually
accompany girlhood, and having been
for some years member of the Lon
don music-hall profession, she was an
accomplished vocalist, who could di-
vert my leisure with charming songs
of an amusing character, many Of them
unknown to the best musicians. These
qualities, the agent argued, more than
compensated for the lady's lack of
property"
"Was that all the old man told you
about herr" inquired.
II think it was" replied uncle Sam.
"But I wrote to her the next day un-
der the assumed name of Holdenhurst,
and day or so afterwards received
her reply. dated from the Bowery.
couched in orthography which ! had
not previously met with. One Of her
statements-thath her dear pa had been
killed some years before by fall from
q scaffold in the Old Bailey-impressed
me as very pleasant way of describ-
ing an unpleasant fact
Az this point interrupted uncle Sam
with my immoderatc laughter. much
to the surprise of aunt Gertrude and
Constance. who being imperfectly ac-
uuainted with London. perceived moth
ing to laugh at.
How about Mr.. Van Rensselaer,"
asked Constance, when my paroXysm
of laughter had subsidized sufficiently
for her voice to be heard. did the
agent recommend any Of his clients as
n suitable wife for that ugly old Dutch
man?"
Gently, Connie, please. Martin Van
Rensselaer, was a capital fellow, as
good a judge q: a railroad as was the
Great Commodore himself; and his ad.
vice was always sound in matters
where he was not personally inter-
esird Poor old Martin is now beyond
the veil against which / have been
binding beating
'Yes, know persisted Constance;
"but you have not answered my qleS-
lion. Did the agent recommend a wife
f,r our friend as nc did for you? If
s would like to hear about her"
~ afraid / can't cbligc you in
that. Con; but Of course the agent made
Recommendation 1t was his business
to 90 so to everybody who consulted
him"
"Alr. Van Rensselaer, didn't win his