Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-01-06
WILL KILL OR CURE
Charlie Dryden's Remedy for
Dyspepsia.
WORKED WONDERS WITH HIM
It Also Knocked Out Creeping
Johnny.
DOWN IN THE HOT COUNTRIES
Applied by Skipper in Case That
Bafaed Surgeons, With Success
Salt Horse and Chagres.
DOWN IN THE HOT COUNTRIES

Salt Horse and Chagres.
| Charlie Dryden, the most noted and most
quoted base ball writer living. has been, in
| the course of his picturesque life, every
| thing but a barber and policeman. Among
| other things. he served a couple of cruises
| as man-ss-wars man. He was one of the
| ships company of the old Wachusetts. He
was just a bluejacket f1atfoot, and his
| whole naval career was passed forard.
1 But, all the same. a sort of wistful light
steals into Dryden's eyes when he talks
| about the brave days when he was little
| more than twenty-one and a man-o'war's
| man. He was talking about the bluejacke
| days not long ago to party of northern
| friends who dropped in upon him at the
shack in the place where he winters, Dope
| Springs" as he calls it, away down on the
| Gulf of Mexico. The way Dryden happened
| to drift into "reminiscences of his naval
sailorzing days this: One of his visit
ors was suffering from dyspepsia. Every
| body in the crowd suggested some dyspep-
| STA remedy.
| Il don't have dyspepsia any more" OBJ
| served Dryden, when everybody else had
| got through suggesting dyspepsia reme-
| dies, but l used to have 1t occasionally. l
| had an infallible remedy for it. too. Surest
| cure ever. Never knew 1t to fail in my
case. Whenever | got 50 dyspeptic that /
| felt like going out and throwing paving
| stones at decrepit old men 1 employed this
| remedy. l had tried all the dyspeptic dope
and digestive tablets and dieting schemes
| ever heard of, and none of them had the
! slightest effect. So / fixed up my own cure.
| went out one night when I was so dys-
| peptic that l caught myself cheating al a
| game of solitaire, and digging up res
1 no ttat tow Gov
Der of dyspeptics its rich foods had created,
| / ordered and ate one and a half dozen of
| large fried oysters, portion of cold roast
| pork with cold slaw red-hot rolls to go with
| this, and black coffee. On top of this 1
| poured three large, deep gin sings. Then
| told EN- to fight 1t out among 'emselves,
| and went home and slept like pink cupid
| on messy bank. Woke I'D feeling like a
gearing calf, hungry as dog, heartburn
| and all the rest of the qualms all gone. and
didn't have another dyspeptic minute for
| six months. When the dyspepsia did hit
me again l tried the same dose, and it fixed
| me up again all right.
| "All of which reminds me-" Dryden went
on. and then the wistfui CLEAN stole into his
| windows, of the skipper of the old Wachu-
sets, the old packet that 1 was a hatfoot
| aboard of away back yonder.
''Fine-Ladyish" Affection.
| This skipper a fine, bluff old boy,
and he regarded the thing known as dys-
| of an affiiction. boobyish business rightly
adapted only to candy-gnawing middies. but
thing for a full-grown, deep-sea, heavy
weather man to be ashamed Of The very
idea that he should be attacked by such
frivolous, imbecile complaint as dyspepsia
made him rage in his cabin and foam at the
mouth when he was on deck or on the
bridge.
"'Damme" I often heard him bawl at the
sympathetic ships surgeon, I'd thousand
times rather have the smallpox or the
Asiatic cholera and be done with it They
are mans size diseases anyhow
We'll, one day-it was while the ship was
anchored in Boston waters-the old man
got on the warpath proper. The surgeon
had been tinkering with him and dieting
him for ten days or SO without doing him
particle of good. On this afternoon the
surgeon hustled out of the shippers cabin,
looking flushed and sore, and went below
to his office and sulked for the remainder
of the day. The skipper appeared at his
cabin door and beloved for his Chinese
cook.
The Shippers Peptonoids.
There was a slow grin on the Chink
cooks face when he emerged from the old
shippers cabin. He went ashore and re-
turned with basket stuffed over the tops
of the Sun'ls with things to eat Then he
started to prepare meal for the skipper.
The meal consisted of two dozen clans
large ones, fried in bread crumbs; a large
mince pie and a big Welsh rabbit to go
with it. all TO be washed down with a pot
of the blacklist coffee that had ever been
made since the world began. A lot of us
gathered around the galley and watched
the Chink cook fixing UP that meal for the
old man. We decided that the skipper had
gone. staring, staving mad.
THE Chink cook carried the steaming
meal into the shippers cabin. The skipper
tucked a big napkin under his neckband
and went at 1t. The Chink told us, an hour
N Snl n hot hn N1h nod tialya h.
whole layout so clean that it had been nee
esSary TO wash the dishes only to preserve
the proprieties and TO set good example.
Then we began to talk, in low tones of the
skipper as or a man already dead.
. He was fine sailorman, all right and
as square as compass box, said hud-
ding at the break of the focsle; and we
waited for the first huff, or executive officer
to come for ard with heavy countenance
and solemnly announce the decease of orr
beloved commander and name the firing
party.
AT quarters that evening the old man
showed up on deck. looking clipper as
a paid-off apprentice boy on his way home
to his sisters. His bronzed old chart was
thed in grins and he patted his stom-
ach affectionately as he listened to his Of
ficers' reports. He repeated that meal every
day for a week and at the end of that time
he had no more dyspepsia than snow bird
When the dyspepsia tackled him again at
the end of six months he repeated the treat
ment and beat 1T out again. The surgeon
Talked ledfieuis ABOUT digestive DhenOm-
ena,' and said that only an Esquimau or a
Lascar could survive such treatment-bar-
ring the skipper, who had invented it In
point OF fact, the surgeon took it hard He
felt that it was a sort of reflection upon
him.
Ran Afoul Creeping Johnny.
'And then, few years later. came the
time when / myself gave a chagrined
ships surgeon a chance to talk about
freaks with an ostrich's makeup 1t
was when the Creeping Johnnie which is
the beachcombers name for the Chagres
fever got a hold of me. The ship had
been up in far northern waters for q
number of months, and after that she was
ordered down around the isthmus-whch
was a heap of a change in temperatures
1T was In the month of February. It's
no trick at all for a thermometer down
that way to tune up to the 100 mark on
February day, especially around Santos
Brazil. where the Chagres downed me- At
night on the beach, Santos has those hot,
blush miSstralS thatll warn any unac-