The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1906-05-04

been disposin' of gold bricks
with aiz in our city of Milbank,
and with CRATE good Judgment
decided instanter that was the
place for a young man with jan
Gus. So Hinnesey, me frind,
Blntley slid off the brake beam
in our beautiful little city with
FIVE cints in his pocket and a
powerful thirst for an Office in
his stomach. The sivinth day
he was here havin' contract
ed siveral bills and extinded his
fame to LaBolt he ran for coun-
ty Jidge. He got wan vote, and
Hinnesy if l was to give ye a
list of the offices he has run for
since it wud look loike the book
o numbers in the Boible But
wind will win, and at last, and
OWN to his great popularity he
was illicted to the Office of coun-
ty attorney for this glorious
county. He performed the oner-
Gus duties with credit to his as
sistant and profit to himself by
sellin' icebergs up in His Males
6y's domain at fifteen dollars per
acre. Howsomever he remim
bered his fripds. Whittier they
knew about a case or not he sint
thin travelin about the wurld
lookin' for ividence and charged
it to the county. He's a good man
to dumb b-utes Hinnesy; he was
a regular Robinson Cruso to his
man Friday and saved his dog
from horrible fate. He spint
$1O8 of county money doin' the
noble work. Takin' time by the
forelock before the vote was
counted at the last illiction he
towld the tailor to make him two
coats after the stoyle the Docks
wear at Monte Carlo and an
nounced to the long sufferin'
public he was candidate for
congress. He's goin' down to
Washin ton to aiz up the woruk
for Joe Cannon and the rist of
thin m s sgui d e d pathriots.
They do say the prisidint has
heard of the Barnes case and is
askin' his advice on finance.
''They say" said Mr.. Hennesy,
THAT Bintley is maxim a great
nois' about the railroads Robin
the people and bribin' our pub
lie sarvants with passes and the
loike. It's loike weanin' calf, :"
said Mr.. Dooley. "Me frind
Bintley has been tryin to furn-
ish law for the railroad these
nine years back and they give
him a pass for his pay, but
whin they discovered his law
WASH t any law at all they swiped
the pass and now he must bate
his fare or pay loike the rist of
us. So he's actin loike the calf
whin he's taken from his NTH
er's milk, he's maxim it uncom-
Portable with his noise for all the
neighbors."
"They say Bintley is abusin'
his frind Rabbit scandalous,"
remarked Hennesy. "That is
so, said Mr.. Dooley with a con.
templative look. "lt's the way
of the wurld. Rabbit and Bint-
ley only a tonne ago were loike
Damon and Pythias. You cud
see thin any avenin' weepin'
on each others necks. Whin
Bintley gave a grand dinner of
em balmed duck and liquids to
the aristocrats his frind Rabbit
was the POSTMASTER and shower
imminse bukays at the host dur
in the taste, but now Bintley is
heavin' tons of newspaper at him
clear from Twin Brooks. Such
Hinnesy is the gratitude of
statesmen.
II unders tand," continued
Mr.. Dooley, that Bintley is now
ixhibitin' himself as are for M Ell IF
it is so he brings to me moind me
ovid frind Barnum s wild man
from Borneo. He looked most
awful wild until | looked under
his whiskers and who should it
be but me ovid neighbor Null
ebay. So tits Hinnesy when l
take a good look at Bintley the
great refOr mer, with me glasses
on see he's the same lad that
was skinnin up the widows and
orphans buta short tonne back
l think Hlnnesy he'd be more to
me taste if he'd reform himsilf
trust and thin start in at the so
lar system after. l do think
he's safer sellin' thin icebergs
in mo ovid SOvoripn TH wa Ri e