The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-12-26

his hand I'M along. He smeiled the
gasoline afar off and began to grin.
In his inmost soul he knew that the
paint would not dry in a month of
Sundays. He vas also a man who
contended that painting should be left
to painters. no matter how often they
left their Jobs and went around the
corner to take a drink.
you've struck it. old hoss," he an
uounced, with objectionable familiar
lty as he came to a halt and began
shifting.
Are you addressing me, sir1" asked
Mr.. Bowser as he Strengthened up
stitiy.
Jeered At BY Painter.
III you'd put In some lard on top Of
that gasoline you'd have made a great
hit!' chuckled the painter. "Doing your
wi work in order to ave a dollar or
two. eh? Not willing to give a poor
man a chance to earn his bread and
butter? Yah on such men as you!"
Mr.. Bowser laid down his brush and
called the painter names. He went
clear back to the landing of the pill
grtms to prove that the average house
painter was without ambition or honor
or industry. The painter put down his
ladder and bucket and called MI. Bow
ser a liar. He also backed up against
the fence In his excitement and rubbed
of most Of the paint that had been put
on a few minutes before. He was a
peaceful man, he said. He was not one
OF those men who cannot see a canary
bird without wanting to pick up a
crowbar and pound Its brains out, but
yet he would then and there cheerfully
hight Mr.. Bowser to the death. Bones
might have been broken and blood shed
had not a friend of the painters come
along and informed him that the presi-
lent of the Rapid Working Painters
union had just fallen dead Of heart dis
ease and that there was a chance for
him to fill the vacancy.
Nothing happened for the next ten
minutes. Mr.. Bowser went on with his
work and recovered his good nature,
n be was wondering whether he
ought to have mixed a little kerosene
with the gasoline when a fat woman
came along and halted. She had a
daughter working rs cook in a family
named Schermerhorn, and she wanted
to ask Mr.. Bowser If he was the man.
1t so, she wanted to tell her daughter
that cooks had become SO scarce that
they could sass their mistresses with
out fear OF discharge. In fact, she did
ask him, and he turned to see that she
was rubbing the paint off his fence.
oma Abuses Him.
Haven't you got eyes, woman?
Haven't you got u nose?' he yelled at
her.
She jumped back and saw the state
Of her dress, and then she made a little
1t was directed at Mr.. Bow
ser. She referred to his squatness, to
bis fairness, to his bald head, to his
being so far below the average jackass
In point Of intelligence that 1t was USE
less to waste English as taught at
school No. 1 on him. He sought to
break in OH her and interrupt her tor
rent OF words, but he might as we'll
have tried to stay the Johnstown food.
She talked for five minutes and then
went her way to leave his mind in q
whirl. He had to go all over the
part again, and he had only got
t nicely finished when two men came
along with a trunk On a w~heelbarrow
md started to turn in at the gate.
Here! Where you goingy" was de-
handed of them.
"I've brought my trunk" one of them
explained.
what have you brought it here for?"
"Why, l engaged room and board
,ere last evening"
"You did nothing Of the kind. DO !
ook like u man that keeps boarders?"
The two men wanted to argue the
natter. and as they argued they leaned
N the fence. \ nan leaning on q
reshly painted fence can always ar
'ue better than Il man standing on his
read in the road. They rubbed and
|rgued and rubbed. They were sure
t was the house and just as sure that
III. BoWser was the man who had TAX
n a weeks room rent in advance. He
lelu his temper for three minutes, and
hen the discovery that his work had
'een ruined again precipitated trouble.
lie called them liars, and they rejoined
n kind. and Mrs. Bowser reached a
o II window just as three me and a
and Il wheelbarrow got all mix
d up in the front yard. The mix last.
d five minutes. Then she opened the
|oor for Mr.. Bowser to shoot into the
and shut it against those who
would follow.
"Well, you would paint, you know"
he said as she turned on him.
He sat down without a word in re-.
ly to wipe his bleeding nose and ca
his bitten ear. and for almost the
|rst time In his married life he forgot
0 threaten divorce. He had gone U
D paint and had been painted.
NJ. QUAD.