New-York tribune., 1906-09-30
HUMOR OF JRISHMEN.
Their Light Heartedness Rises Su-
periOr to 4U Situations.

Although dark shadows Of poverty and dis
tress have hung over hapless Ireland for hun
dreds of years, no amount Of sorrow seems ca
pal BILE of destroying the 5oviality and light heart
edness that the natural traits of the sons or
Erin. No occasion can be so gloomy that Irish
wit will not extract a spark of humor from the
situation Rather than dwell upon the cheerless
side of life in the Emerald ISLE will make this
chapter budget of Pats bright doings and say
ings.
one morning while some passengers from a
train were taking a meal in restaurant or a
railroad station, one of them was detained In
making change, and came out OF the door just
as the last car of the train passed. Rushing
frantically down the platform the excited Irish
man yelled at the top of his voice: Hould on
there. Mr. Engineer. hould on you've got pas
senger aboard that's left behind" Another
Irishman. who was a guest in village hotel.
made the butt of some practical jokers who
blackened his face while he was asleep. In the
morning. when Pat was called, he happened TO
look in the mirror. and, stopping in amazement.
said: "Bedad, that's good joke on the bellboy;
he's called the wrong man.
ASHAMED OF HIS BROGUE.
story is told of a prominent clergyman in
Ireland who ashamed of his brogue. Learn
ing that he was little touchy on the subject.
members Of his congregation were inclined to
poke fun at him about it. One day while
speaking to one Of the leading parishioners the
parson complained of the injustice done him and
asked If, honestly. there single trace of
brogue TO be found In his speech We'll" the
friend replied, "if you are determined to make
denial that you have a brogue l should advise
you do so in writing"
A valued laborer in the employ of a successful
contractor had the bad habit of coming late
every morning to his work. When reproached
for his tardiness the honest fellow said he was
perfectly willing to earlier, but that he just
couldn't wake up in time. When the suggestion
made that he buy an alarm clock his face
lighted up with pleasure, and he agreed to make
the purchase at once and not be tardy there
after All went we'll for a few days. and then
Pat was late again. The second hand clock he
had bought at a pawnshop had baked on him.
Prompted by curiosity, the Irishman proceeded
to take the timepiece apart and when a defunct
cockroaCh was found curled up in the works Pat
exclaimed triumphantly: "Bedad. wonder she
wouldn't work; the engineers dead"
THE BEST IRISH STORY.
I asked man who had lived in Ireland for
years what he considered the best instance OF
Irish wit he had ever heard. and he replied that
without exception his favorite was the one about
the soldier and his wounded companion. This
yarn has been told by many professional story
tellers and is always appreciated. 1t goes like
this Two young fellows who went TO war to-
gether agreed that whichever was wounded first
should be carried TO tho doctor by the other.
While battle in progress one of them fell
crying that bullet had struck him in the thigh
and requesting his friend 10 carry him to the
hospital Pat accordingly shouldered his COM
rade and started for the rear. On the way a
piece OF shell cut the wounded mans head off
clean at the shoulders. Some one met Pat with
his grewsOme burden and asked him where he
was going with the headless man. Pat looked
around in horror and disgust. then exclaimed:
What a laundering liar that fellow was; he
told me he shot in the leg.
A recruit in the army was given an un-
broken pony to ride After lively siege of
buCking, of the horses legs became entan-
gled in the strrup. causing Mike to remark:
Faith. if you are thinking of getting up here.
it's time for me to be getting down." An old