The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1906-01-16
ADVISES A FRIEND
"sCRIBBLER" TOUCHES UP POLL
TICS, CARP AND MATRIM0NY
Characteristic Letter From an Old
Athena Press Correspondent
Now in California.

James h. Scott, known to news
paper writers throughout the Inland
Empire as "Scribbler," is himself
again, no Spokeshere intended, and is
living ON a fruit ranch in sunny
California. He has regained his
health and with it comes the craving
desire to be of use to the world and
his friends in it, as will be seen from
the lines in the following character
istic letter to an Athena friend;
Dear Sir:-As this is one of the
rare and exceptionally dull days in my
uneventful career; one of those days
when haven't anything whatever to
do, when time seems to drag, as it
were, and | can't even think of any
thing that could possibly interest
either my friends or myself, l thought
| would devote a small portion of it
to the Improbable employment of
writing you, and thus in measure at
least, retrieve msyelf of that tired
feeling" by transcribing, and prob
ably transmitting the same to the re-
cipient of the transcript.
My dear sir, don't you feel nightly
flattered at such unselfsh, unadulter-
ated, unreliable ,unintentional, magma
nimous, and almost overpowering
solicitude for your welfare, prosperity
and happiness, as herein depicted
(now swell up.) To be sure you do.
Sir, / understand you are contem-
plating entering the political arena
that you intend to run for sherif-or
was it from the Shorthand that you
are in the hands of your friends. If
such is your purpose, l ask you to
call halt on your aspirations, and
study the situation thoroughly before
taking such an important step, or
even permitting your name to be used
in that connection. Don't think to
reform or change the political and
social fabric or structure, by offering
yourself sacrifice. Everyone can't
be Folk or a Mitchell or even a
Williamson. Remember what the
illustrious Jimmy J. ingalls, said on
this subject and be content to keep
out. Ingalls, said:
''The publication of politics is an
irridescent dream" In other words,
pipe dream.
| beg of you to desist, decline, de-
funct or de any other old thing rather
than place yourself in the hands of
your friends for political preferment
~, n n for in ut1oh non
tingency see no limit--to your run
ming possibilities, as it would not be
at all improbable that you would
eventually chit the trail' for the
White House or some other joint.
My advice is steer clear of political
whirlpools and cesspools unless you
wish to become contaminated. T'were
far better to be "a minnow in mill
pond than to be a punctured whale
in deep blue sea.
Thinking of minnows and whales re-
minds me: OF course you know what
a German carp is. You also know
that carp is not noted as being the
most delectable fish that ever dangled
from a pin hook. Since coming to
California, however, have caught
on TO the proper formula for cooking
and serving carp, and although an
epicure of limited experience, assure
you that when cooked and served ac
eording to the formula, the much
abused carp is simply delicious. AL
though the formula is supposed to be
secret aud known to only few
chefs, l accidently got next to the
modus opperandi, and without vio-
lating any condolences, will in this
instance, for the sake of auld lang
sine, divulge the same, trusting and
relying on your integrity and honor
as a gentleman, scholar and good
Judge of muck a-muck to keep mum
as regards the source Of your inform
alton, although you are at liberty to
make use of the same. Take a
tlve-pound carp, scale and dress it
nicely. Then procure a clean pine
board. Place the carp on the board
and season with salt aud butter. Now
place the carp and board in the oven
aud let it bake for 30 minutes, then
take it from the oven and carefully
remove the carp from the pine board,
throw the carp away and eat the
board. This is the only way to prop
erly cook and serve carp, and feel
sure you will agree with me should
you have occasion to try it, Prepar-
cd in this way, carp is almost equal
to dogfsh.
Referring TO dognsh also reminds
me; Did / ever tell you how
measley little pug dog once saved the
life of a friend of mine? No? Well,
You see it was this way: This par
tioular pug, (Which by the way, start
cd in life as greyhound, but acci-
dently getting its nose amputated
wisely concluded to do business as
pugl As before stated, this par
ticular pug-which by the way, after
its nasal decapitation, .resembled very
much pug that at one time was
associated in a business way with the
Athena Transfer Co., only more so.
As previously remarked, OF stated,
rather, this particular pug was valued
very highly by my friend for the rea-
son, as he stated, that it had once
saved his life. | could not under
stand, and was curious to know how
so small aud insignificant looking a