davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
Went to the Right Place.
,m "success Maeazine." l"

From Success Magazine"
 An American whose business frequently takes him to London tells of an amusing conversation between the driver and con- ductor of public bus in that city.
 The bus was fairly crowded, so the American climbed to the top, where shortly after taking his seat. he observed a person in peculiar garb with red tur- ban There was .eaden sky overhead and slow. drizzling rain-such weather as is the rule rather than the exception in the British metropolis.
 As the conductor came to the top the red-turbaned person, evidently an Indian Parsee. got down.
 'Wot sort of a chap is that?" asked the driver of the conductor.
 "I fancies that 'e's one of them fellers that worshps the sum-.
 "Worships the sun, eh," repeated the driver, with a shiver. Then I suppose he comes over ere to ave a rest"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
From Bad to Worse.

From the Chicago News.
 He-Mss Highnote Is certainly home- ly girl isn't she?
 She-Wel, she isn't a beauty, but when you hear her sing you will forget her face
 He-Gracious! Is her singing as bad as fhato
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
Maniac Attempts 10 Take
 His Lie m fhe City Jail

One of the most tragic scenes ever wit messed in the city jail occurred last night, when William Burgland, demented man, attempted to take his life by putting his cell.
 When first seen, the man had almost tainted from the loss of blood. His en- tire face was horribly lascerated and his head, face, neck and shirt bosom were covered with blood. As soon as dlseov- cred, the stevedore and several of the prisoners attempted to quiet the frantic man. He fought his rescurer with tine strength of a maniac, and it took six men
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
686-LISTEN!-686
DO YOU KNOW.

The highest class of electric work, from the Installation of wires to the manufacturing of fixtures. is done by the
 United Electric Go. 408-410 N. 18th Se
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

field in which we were once conspicuously successful?
 ''I think the answer is twofold
 T. The higher wages and the greater cost of maintenance of American officers and crews make it impossible to compete on equal terms with foreign ships. The scale of living and the scale of pay of American sailors is fixed by the standard of wages and of living in the Snited States, and those are maintained at a high level by the protective tariff. Tine moment the American passes beyond the limits Of his country and engages in ocean transportation he comes into com petition with the lower foreign scale of wages and of living. MT. Joseph l.. Bris- tow in his report upon trade conditions af- fecting the Panama canal dated June H. 1905 gives in detail the cost of operating an American steamship with a tonnage of approximately $500 tons as compared with the cost of operating a specified German steamship of the same tonnage, and the differences aggregate s15,s15 per annum greater cost for the American steamship than for the German. that is s437 per ton He gives also in detail the cost of maln- taining another American steamship with a tonnage approximately $500 tons as com pared with the cost of operating speci- fled British steamship of the same ton mage, and the differences aggregate s1S- 2S9.bo per annum greater cost for the American steamship than for the British, that is $.31 per ton. It is manifest that If the German steamship was content with profit of less than S15.00O per annum and the British with a profit of less than SlSOOO per annum the American ships would have to go out of business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

to overpower him. When the man was upon the floor he struggled against his captors, gnawing his lip, and his tongue Finally, however, his body was placed ln a straight jacket" and his arms and legs bound. He finally became quiet and, weakened from his efforts and loss of blood, fell into d quiet sleep, with all the prisoners gathered about him.
 In addition to Burgland, there are three other demented men in the jail. Two of these, called Powell and Carroll are white men. The fourth is a negro Applications for admttance into the insane hospital at Tuscaloosa have been made.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21


 man could not do the work and do 1t right. We have our stockholders and our boards of directors, and they all share in the responsibility of conducting our af- fairs. I appear as a dictator in the pub lished statements, but I am not. Every important step in our business is consid- cred by many minds before any decision IS reached. Last year this congress passed a resolution antagonistic to the general clamor that increased power be given to the interstate commerce commission in the regulation of railroads and other cor porations.
 Power of Interstate Commission.
 Your contention was that the Sherman antitrust law and the Ell<ins amendment gave the commission sufficient power to correct existing evils. But since your con- gress passed that resolution. the Con- gress of the United States passed meas ure which is now a law, that gives to the interstate commerce commission al- most unlimited power.
 ''I do not want to criticise the commits sion. I believe it acted in good faith when it said it needed more power. But. as I said last night the President, in his Harrisburg speech, intimated that still greater power should be conferred upon the commission. Now before any further action is taken, I should like 10 see how the power which exists under the present law will be used Perhaps 1t may not be necessary for the commission to act under the new law. l hope not. If the commission makes mistake in the use of it's power conditions may ensue from which the business interests of this country will not ecover for a decade. The rates are ma ] by the communities served by the railroads. But. under the new law, the rates controlled from com mercial necessity, now may be controlled by political opportunity. The politician may promise reduction in rates for clec- ton to office.
 Railroads Reached Limit of Economy.
 ''The railroads nave reached almost the limit of economy in transportation. If the rates are to be lowered the railroads must be able to carry traffic at less cost than now
 MT. Kindel in his speech. said that Denver was the victim of rate discrimi- nation by the railroads. He said that it cost much more in proportion to ship goods from Chicago to Denver than from Chicago to Omaha. He quoted rates on various articles to prove his assertions. He said he was not contending that the rates be lowered but that they be equal ized He also said that he had shipped foreign-made goods from Liverpool via. Galveston cheaper by s75 a car than he was able to ship American goods from Buffalo to Denver via. Galveston. H. D. Loveland of San Francisco addressed the congress on the subject of San Francisco.
 R. B. Thurber of New York addressed the congress on Socialism.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21
Promote Ship Building Industry.


 ''2. The principal maritime nations or the world, anxious to develop their trade, to promote their shipbuilding industry, to have at hand transports and auxiliary cruisers in case of war, are fostering their steamship lines by the payment of sub sidies. England Is paying to her steam ship lines between six and seven million dollars year: it is estimated that since 1S4O she has paid to them between two hundred and fifty and three hundred mil lions. The enormous development of her commerce, her preponderant share of the carrying trade of the world. and her ship yards crowded with construction orders from every part of the earth. indicate the success of her policy. France is paying about eight million dollars a year; Italy and Japan, between three and four mill lion each: Germany, upon the initiative of Bismarck, is building up her trade with wonderful rapidity by heavy subvent ons to her steamship lines and by giving spo- railroads for merchandise shipped by those lines. Spain. Norway, Austria-Hungary. Canada all subsidse their own lines. 1t is estimated that about s2s.000,O00 a year are paid by our commercial competitors to their steamship lines.
 Against these advantages to his com petitor the American ship owner has to contend; and it is manifest that the subsidized ship can afford to carry freight at cost for long enough period to drive him out of business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-11-21

Subsidized Competition.
 We are living in world not of nat ural competition, but of subsidized com petition. State aid to steamship lines is as much a part of the commercial system of our day as state employment of consuls to promote business.
 Tt will be observed that both of these disadvantages under which the American ship owner labors are arti- ficial; they are created by governmental action, one by our own government in raising the standard of wages and liv- ing, by the protective tariff, the other by foreign promotion of their own trade. For the American ship owner it Is not contest of intelligence, skill, industry and thrift against similar qualities in his competitors; it is a contest against his competitors and his competitors govern mentS and his own government also.
 Plainly these disadvantages created by governmental action can be neutralized only by governmental action, and should be neutralized by such action
 What Action to Take.
 What action ought our government to take for the accomplishment of th,s just purpose? Three kinds of action have been advocated
 l. A law providing for free ships, thai is. permitting Americans to buy shirs in other countries and bring them under the American flag. Plainy this would not at all meet the difficulties which I have described. The only thing 1t would ac- complish would be to overcome the ex- cess in cost of building ship in an American shipyard over the cost of build ing it in a foreign shipyard; but since all the materials which enter into an American ship are entirely relieved Of duty, the difference in cost of construc- tion is so slight as to be practically a negligible quantity and to afford no sub stantial obstacle to the revival of Amer ican shipping. The expedient of free ships, therefore. would be merely to sac rifice our American shipbuilding industry which ought to be revived and enlarged with American shipping, and to sacrifi e it without receiving any substantial bene- fit. It is to be observed that Germany. France and Italy all have attempted to build up their own shipping by adopting the policy of free ships. have failed in the experiment, have abandoned it. and have adopted In its place the policy of subsidy.
 '2 It has been proposed to establish a discriminating tariff duty in favor of goods imported in American ships, that is to say to impose higher duties upor goods imported in American ships. We tried that once many years ago and have abandoned it. In its place we have entered into treaties of commerce and navigation with the principal countries ot the world expressly agreeing that no such discrimination shall be made be- tween their vessels and ours. To swcen away all those treaties and enter upon a war of commercial retaliation and re prisal for the sake of accomplishing indi- rectly what can be done directly should not he seriously considered
 8. There remains the third and obvious method: to neutralize the artificial dis-
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-02-27
The Counts Baseless Fear.

~ haf come" said the count, Ito spik
to YOU, Mee5t.ire Moneybag, about one
what you call heem important mat
taire."
a.. yes. count. l understand! Have
q chair. EuI wish. | presume, to sped:t
to ne about my daughter"
NO. pardon, Eot Eat. l hat seen re
tax list where he eGy you hat Only
fifty tkousan' what you call heem dol
laire."
"Oh-ho. ho! That's all right, count.
Don't WORRY about that. My Office boy.
to whom I had transferred $5,OO0.00
worth of god bonds, which he hei.
while The assessment was being fixed,
has just handed them back. They're
here in the safe now. Do you want to
see them?"
"Merci. monsieur! You hat lift what
you call heem a weight from my mind"
Chicago Record Herald.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-02-27
When Some Men Die.

The world is made bigger when
some men die" said a we'll known cit
izen the other day. That seems like
a peculiar proposition at first thought,
but gentleman went on to explain
what he meant. It is this: Some
men are so intensely selfish and have
SO much hog disposition about them
so much of the miserly instinct, that
they stand in the way of progress.
They buy land, or lots, in a gro wing
town and refuse to improve, sell AZ
any reasonable price. They buy large
farms and refuse to sell unless it is
to somebody they can use Or control in
their own interest. There are plenty
of people who would pay a fair price
and take the land and improve it. but
the land miser either refuses to sell
or places a prohibitive nrice on ii.
When such a land miser dies it gerer-
ally leaves his property so it a go
into the hands of progressive men.
That is what the gentleman referred
to meant by saying that the world is
made bigger by the death Of some men.
Marion News.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-02-27
Forgot the Umbrella.

& gentleman went into i shop in
Birmingham ana sa:. lie wanted to buy
. E3!1a2ti,lY dog TO t~ke abroad with
him, according to the New Orleans
Pi>ayVne. 'Cc"t%:Ily. SIR said the
assistant. I've got the very thing"
H. Il quarter OF az hour he brought out
TIE animal. The customer paid the
money and departed. Before his train
tine. however. d heavy shower fell
The gentleman returned with the dog
in Il state Of great Indignation.
Look at himw be Grid. you told
me he was a Dalmatian. Give me my
money back. All his spots are washed
off in the rain"
The proprietor apologized. ITS all
that stupid FOOLS mistake"
He called to his assistant. games,
did you sell that dog to this ger lie
MANI"
Eyes, sir"
"Well, you ought to be ashamed of
yourself. Don't you know an umbrella
goes with that dog?"
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-02-27

The man seemed relieved after
his confession, and In a little while
we prepared to turn in for the night.
The stranger was assigned to a tent
right against the mountain wall, and,
raising the flag, was about to enter
when he saw things again. He VEN
ted a scream in which the most dam
ming fear was expressed, and, spring
ing back from the canvas, cried. He's
in there, lying on the cot. Now see
he is at the flag coming toward me
his wound squirting o Christ save
me!'
A the mar gave Vent to his hor-
ror lie ret~eated backward. his start
ing eyes riveted on the tent, which to
our gaze presented no unusual appear
ance, and, before we could stay him,
he turned quickly and with the speed
Of a deer raced to the edge OF the cliff
n plunged off into the darkness.
hat was his end, and all the rest of
that awful night we sat in our camp
with s%Ieepless eyes gazing fascinated
at the yawning chasm. With the COM
iGg of morning We e to the bottom
of the nllch by a circuitous route n
found the c-Ished and broker remains
of the unknown. We dug a grave, and
when the chief had read the burial
service from a Book of Common
Prayer, which he always carried in his
grip, over the body we pi!ed a mound
of stone IN it and fixed at the head a
rude cross made of a soap-box wood.
Who the mar was we never found out.
but we did come across a riderless
horse on the plains below the noun
tains a few days later, and concluded
hat the nag was the beast he had
abandoned in his wild night flight, and
that his story was true, in part at
last."-NeW Orleans Pic9yune.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-02-27
RailrGaA Graft.

OF course the fast mail appropria'
ton to The Southern railway is a plain
subsidy. Otherwise, the people of
other sections would have the same
service and other railroads would be
for like trains. 1t is a sop thrown to
a system in the south to seduee south
ern democrats into voting for this
subsidy so as 70 confound them when
they oppose the gigantic sea-s that
go to the north nd 10 ship trusts. If
we vote for it, let's a.mit that it is a
steal and excuse it On the ground that
comparatively 1T is a very little one"
News and Observer.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-02-27

They're initiating William.
You Ear hear him yell md shout.
They viii soon proceed to take his
vermiform appendix out.
You can hear their yells Of triumph,
And 1t makes your blood frappe.
They're Initiating William
In the good old fashioned way.
They'll tie him with q clothesline
To the track and then collect
All the microscopic pieces
For the coroner to inspect.
Don't be hasty In your Judgment
Do not interrupt their play.
They're Initiating William
In the strictly modern way.
Charles =. Nettlston In Brooklyn I1Se.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-02-27
Southern Monument at A~ndersonyille.

SooutiICIh NIoIluiI1SIl at lux
The Georgia division of the United
Daughters of the Confederaoy are en-
ergeticaly pushing the work of secur-
ing funds for the erection of a monu
ment at Andersonville, GA, "as a pro-
test against the ISLANDERS and false
hoods already displayed in bronze and
marble at that place The movement
is in response to a resolution adopted
at the U. D. c. convention last Octo-
Der, which relates that Captain Henry
Wirz, commandant Of the prison, was
"j~udiciously murdered under false
charges of cruelty to p~risoners;" that
after 40 years these false charges are
reiterated on sign boards in public
places, from the pulpit and on monu
ments," and therefore it desires to
place a suitable memorial to Captain
Wirz at Andersonville, upon which
a statement of facts shall be engraved
in enduring brass or marble, showing
that the federal government vas sole
ly responsible for the condition of at
fairs at AndersOnville." The facts in
the case of the Andersonville prison
and the alleged cruelties imposed upon
prisoners is thus told by The Atlanta
Journal:
THE records Of the federal war de-
partment themselves show that the
charges to the effect that the south
maltreated prisoners Of war are I'M
founded. Twelve per cent of all Con-
federate prisoners died in prison, while
less than 9 per cent. of the Union pris-
Oners held in the south succumbed. 1t
was the policy of the Union leaders to
refuse to exchange prisoners, in spite
of the sOuth'S anxiety to do so. The
south considered II cheaper to fight
the enemy than TO feed him. the
north had plenty of men, plenty OF
money, plent of supplies and consid-
cred it cheaper to allow her men to
lie in southern prisons than to release
an equal number of southerners. To-
| wards the close of the war the hospital
supp les Of the south having become
quite exhausted the south offered to
buy hospital supplies from the north,
and pay for them in northern prison
ers held in the south, pledging her
self that none of the supplies thus
purchased should be used for Confed-
crate soldiers, but this offer was ,1e-
clined."
This statement answers fully the
charges so often made against the
south and Major Wirz, and it is to be
hoped that the effort to erect the pro-
posed monument will succeed. The
statement of the acutal facts will do
little toward convincing those who
wish to believe otherwise, but in view
of the false assertions ~placarded a5ou-
the old prison site,it would be vel to
have the shaft erected.-Charlotte OBJ
server.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-02-27
How he Young Man
Kept His New Job
r. MUNTOBURN," said the
caller, II know the value Of
your time. and I will come to

skXR. MUNTOBURN," said the
caller, IT know the value Of
your time, and / will come to
the point at nee Don't you want to
have your life insured for 100000"
81 am already carrying seven times
that amount" said The multimillionaire.
Besides, young man, d. you think l
need any life i~nsurance:'
Ito be perfectly frank about it, sir,
| know you don't"
Then why do you think it worth
while to try to get me to take out a
policy?"
Because you'll never miss the mon
ey it viii cost you Because I'm down
ct the heels III out at the elbows, II
| need a lift. Because the commission
I'll get on your poIlcy. if you take one,
will make me independently rich for a
whole year. Because you can't find
ways to spend half your income. and
this will give you another outlet for 1t,
while at the sane time you will De as
sisting a poor but deserving young mar
to earn a living"
al. ~A q
It's true don't need any life insur-
ance," be said. but / do need some
active young fellow to stay about here,
receive agents. peddlers, solicitors and
bores in general, listen to their talk
and politely kick them out, aud l think
you'll do for that. Your salary will be
$1,000 a year. Will that be satisfac-
tory? All right. You may begin this
moment. A man that wants to give
me lessons in physical culture exercise
will be here in about five minutes. He
has nearly talked the ear of me sew
eral times. I'm tired Of him, and /
want you to give him his walking pa
pers. Think you cal do it? All right"
AS the result Of the subsequent inter
view with the physical instructor, the
general nature and principal details of
which the multimillionaire in bis pri-
yate office had no difficulty in follow
ing. the young man kept bis job.-Chi-
cago News.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-02-27
Succeeded Too Well

The multimillionaire sits in gloomy
and lonely grandeur in the heart Of his
vast forest preserve.
Its a mistake" be signs. II went
too far. Now that / have bought up all
the land for forty miles in each direc-
ton and have fenced in the property
not a soul a come aroand to see how
/ am enjoying my money. I'll have to
induce some III to get put a court or
DE- compelling a road to be cut through
my property or I'll be as forgotten as
q hermit."-Judge.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-02-27
Exhavagant Economy.
John JOKES he was q thrifty nm
And Mrs. Jones was. too
q That Is TO say.

John JOKES he was a thrifty naa
And Mrs. Jones was. too
That Is to say.
Good Mrs. J.
Wa thrifty and would do
Her share in saving. but she thought
Her husband was q bit too .aut.
He kept the purse strings tied around
His fingers In a twist,
And every time
She got a dime
She had to force his fist.
Don't spend so much" he'd always
say.
Were saving for a rainy day"
John owned q lot OF property
In buildings. farms and grain,
With stock galore
And stuff in store.
But never stopped the strain
To gather in all he could get
Against the day that might be wet.
And still his wife could scarcely find
Enough TO eat and wear.
Her bonnet had
Grown old and sad.
Her clothes made people stare,
But John stayed in his narrow way
And harped upon 1.-The rainy day"
Two years went by: John saved and
saved
Until the wet spring came.
When floods poured DOWN
On farm and town
And washed away the same,
Including Johns possessions. which
BY now had made him very rich.
John and his wife took to the hills
To save themselves, and he
Began TO swear
Ard rip and tear
At his adversely.
Indeed, it was enough to cause
A man to break the ten first laws.
But Mrs. J. was less disturbed,
And as she shook her head
AT Johns distress
And wickecness
In swearing so she said:
Now, John, don't carry On that way;
You saved il for a rainy day
William ]. hampton in New York Trib-
une.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-02-27
Modern Titles.

"SaB, is the big noise in?' inquired
the visitor as he entered the Office.
Nav. He's out feedin'."
"Well, where is the chief gaZabo-the
one who has charge when the big noise
is out?'
Hes outa town"
Amt there some here who acts
as the main squeeze when they're
away"
Nobody but me-"
"And who are youT"
~Fm de small bunch-de guy what
sweeps out de Office. SeeT"-Milwau-
kee Sentinel.