Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-19

iiiosJ pusl praying IOr'
Now having Theoretically secured
pure food again, we must hustle up
and cultivate taste for 1t.
Harry Lehr doesn't know whether
he's a Democrat or a Republican. II
depends on whether the Republicans
will stand for him; certainly the Demo-
Gratis won't.
Poppy-Why doesn't that model pose
any more?
Magnoia.-Surplus adi-pose.
This years crop of lobsters-of the
broiing sort-on the eastern coast
numbers 07,000,0G0 with proportlonate
share Of the human variety. The
chorus girls are in luck.
A Painful Stump Pulling
Old Mr. Guzeman was up town Sat
| urday morning early getting tooth
pulled, and he said 1t hurt like the
| devil. We should think so on a. hot day.
Washington Qowa) Democrat.
The battleship Virginia is having it's
magazine altered. To the new spelling?
Welman's return again demonstrates
| that Arctic regions are not favorable
| to the produ ction of hot air projects.
Many man in California who thinks
he is running for Office is only marking
| time.
There's no use calling a wicked man
bad egg. A man can be reformed.
Could Teddy have shot the English
language all to pieces just because
Bryan knows better how to use it?
Oran0p-IS his ornyiper ,.ir
| reditary?
Orange-No, it's a thirst.
Henry James is at work OH a new
novel. The greater portion of the OPEN
| ing sentences is already completed
Gives Him Pain
| 1t pains us to have to place Miss
! Spicey Raiford on our sick list Mon
day morning.-Mount Olive IN. C.)
| Tribune
Because she paid s25 for a hat, an
{ hio man accused his wife of being in
sane, but she probably wasn't as mad
as he was.
1t is explained why there is such a
dearth of chorus girls in New York and
elsewhere. They are all too busy marry
ing milionaires to sign for the season.
| Instead OF pensioning safe-cracking
| experts, the Bankers association should
| pension off a few presidents who have
a fondness for church funds.
'The octopodicide is vociferous and
much in evidence" said Mr.. Jerome at
Albany. Boston papers please eluci-
date.
If the bomb throwers of Russia ever
get to loading their missiles with Rus
sian name;, the havoc will be some
thing terrible. tS .ln. et3
The New York newspa per man who is
to marry a rich girl may be a poor re-
porter without being a poor reporter.
| Miss Palm--To be up to date I shall
elope with my chauffeur.
Miss Pepper-That will require me to
wed my airship pilot!
Marie Corellis "best'' novel is now
being advertised. Somebody must know
a way to tell them apart.
Mr. Booker T. Washington has not
yet pointed to Joe Cans as an example
of modern civilized development
On the Villains Trail
Mr. j. C. Wetch, the city night watch
| man, is straight in behind the thief
who broke up Mr.. Willie McKeiver's
poultry farm by pushing down the
fence and relieving him of his bantam
rooster and three guinea eggs. With
the swiftness of Mr.. Wetch we are sat-
ished that the guilty party will be
brought to Justice at an early date
Darlington Is. c. News.
BJorstjerne Bjornson ought to be an
enthusiastic advocate of spelling reform
in Norway.
Virginia woman went to live with
her divorced husband and his new
bride as their cook Evidently, she
wanted no common revenge.
According to Mr.. Rockefeller, "the
average American strtKgles too much"
Evidently, Mr.. Rockefellers last few
millions didn't come SO easy.
The cussedness in boy is now being
removed by an operation on the brain
The old fashioned way was to take II
out of his hide.
The Three Stages
blushing bride,
man beside
A preacher who is tony;
DO you? Do you?"
I'VE do! We do!'
And that's a-ceremony!
A mana wife.
An hour of strife,
She left all by her lonely:
The club for him.
To ma. with vim
And that is--inharmony.
A court of law:
She said" He saw"
road that's rough and stony
t A lib'ral fee,
short decree
Apd chat means--alimony
w. H. c.
Homeseekers' Club TONIGHT.