Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-01-28

manager was summoned. and after an an
CRY parley, in which he denied that there
was anything the matter with the soup, the
persistent member demanded that the soup
kettle be brought
So the great soup boiler was brought up
from the kitchen and exhibited. The now
thoroughly aroused club member seized a
fork and stirred the kettle, dragging there
from manikin.
"Ahar' he cried "A House insurgent."
SO the mystery of the bad soup was solved.
The elaborate program of entertainment
began early in the feast. A member of the
club galops frantically around the plaza.
carrying suit case hat box and a camera,
Here, what do you think you are do
ing?' angrily demanded President Fearn.
Don't stop me. Don't stop me! I've got
to write twenty thousand words attacking
the canal and I've only got ten minutes to
stay. I'm Poultney Bigelow.'
At intervals during the evening other
strange figures appear in the plaza. A tall
person comes in carrying great bundles OF
stage money. Throws 1t around prodigal-
~. Lights cigar with bill. Gives it to
guests. Tears some; scatters bits around.
Here, what does this exhibition mean?'
why. l am giving an imitation of the
isthmian canal commission
Another follows, carrying typewriting ma
chine.
II hear they are digging a canal here.
I'm here to do business. and ! should do a
lot of 1t. I'm agent for the finest type
writer ever invented"
You can't do any business here What
do we want with typewriters?''
What do you want with typewriters b?
Just listen to that. Why, from all I've seen
and read, typewriters are the principal in
struments used in digging isthmian canals
The Canal in Mars
Big man with long telescope appears and
says he is observing the canals on Mars.
What about the canals on Mars?"
Don't you know why they are such a
success? Because there are no transconti-
mental railroads on Mars"
press agent looking for a Job de-
scribes his qualifications
but can you write?"
Write? Naw What's the use? The
Secretary of War does all the writing
The initiation of two newly elected mem
bers OF the club. Messrs. Arthur J. Dodge
and w. W. Jermane. furnished the basis for
a clever skit. The chairman of the commit
tee announced:
The Gridiron Club has elected two new
members. They are distinguished in many
ways as molders OF public opinion, and
understand that as such they are agreeab BILE
10 the administration. They are timid.
obedient and docile.'
Before they can be presented three men
rush in escorting sable person attired in
a tattered army overcoat and barefooted
We have found the niger I'm the wood
pile. lie claims asylum in the Gridiron
Club"
Well. who is he?"
why. don't you recognize? It's Morales.
who has jumped hot job in Santo Do
mingo, and is here looking for soft job. .
What can he do?''
He's revolutionist. and can make a
new government In a minute"
AT this point another section of the COM
mittee comes rushing In with another can
didate amid much confusion
Hold on, there! Hold on! That fellow
a 1uittert'
But. who on earth is this PERSON.
Haven't you read the message of the
President TO Congress which says: For
tunately, new ruler has sprung up in
Santo Domingo?"
"I'il have none of this gang / want
bona-fide press agents., says the chairman.