The Topeka state journal., 1906-03-01
HVMOR OF THE DAY

III - y ~ 6AA Va = 4&Ar s&atA lt
cadley-No. he isn't in our social set
WIseman-so I understand
CadIey-Hes' he dropped out some time
iWiseman-why. he gave me to under
stand he climbed Out.-Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Chugwater docking up from her
ovation OF a church?
Mr- ChugWater-It' the place where the
choir sits. Haven't you been inside. a
church a few times IN your life?-Chicago
Tribune.
After the teacher had carefully explain
ed the familiar story. she asked Tommy
whether he expected to be among the
sheep or the goats.
tHoW's a feller to tell, - answered Tom
by, when his NAV calls him a lamb and
his paw says he is q pesky kid?'-Phila-
delphta Ledger.
You are getting too economical. dear
said MT Iackspare- Its all right to
comes to sending me q 25-ceut telegram
TO tell me where to GO to save z cents on
Leader.
Mrs. Young-John, I hate to ask you to
go into this store wit hme, but I have to
match this ribbon, and
Mr. Young-That's all right, my dear.
The ribbon counter girl in there is the
sweetest, Drettiest little
"A Mrs YounEg-oh. guess I can put it Off
TIL some other day.-Philadeiphia Press.
He tried to work a big deal"
The other fellows caught him when he
was stacking the cards. s.'-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
And now, George" sobbed the bride
VINO was starting on visit to her moth
ers. 7 must bid you a long farewell"
tn Irc -h0
you're leaving on this train, put IN an
unfeeling conductor. sAn aboardI'-
Rivers-Brooks, you've heard that IA
miliar saying Give man rope
Brooks-..And he'll smoke himself to
death?', oh, yes, I've heard that, and 7
friend OF yours is that's trying to XII you
on--Chfcago Tribune.
At a meeting in North Camberwell a
lady heckler asked DR.. BTacNamara II he
was in favor of the repeal of the bias
'oh! Pm a golfer replied the candi-
date.-Westminster Gazette.
MY bargain matinees do not seem to
be drawing"
What are the priees?"
Fifty cents and one dollar downstaizs"
Make it 49 and 80 cents and youn win
out, old man. Louisville Courier-Jour-
Have you met him socially?"
Dear me. no. Only In business way.
I married his daughter. Life
You two are thrown together a great
you bet we ride home on the same
car at O'Clock ''-Cleveland Leader
He-I wonder why Miss Howells always
has to be coaxed before she will
she-oh. as a matter of self-protection.
@seif-protection?
She-Yes; by waiting to be coaxed she
always manages to shift the blame.-Chi-
cago News
You think he went to Heaven?.'
that direction. Atlanta Constitution
what is there about this Rev Or.
Holdforth to make him such a popular
.'Ohi Jack YOU Eoose-don't you know
ing the Ten Commandments ?'-BRook-
lyn Life.
'AF1. sweetheart" sighed young man.
kneeling at the feet of his dearest own,
"dost thou know what of all things Is
nearest my heart?'
Piled but in this cold weather I should
think it was flannel shirt.
She WIS too nractical. and it broke the
gagement.-Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Hiram Onen-why. Bridget at this
rate my dishes won't last any time.
Bridget-Don't We worry. ma'am; they'll
last as long as I viii, fur I'll be raving
ye the-merrow.-Phf Philadelphia Press.
Intimate Friend-Don't you dread the
trials OF housekeeping
Prospective Bride-Vhy. no-o-o-oi It
will be a picnic We are going to have all
the cooking brought in. and the work ali
sent out-Chicago Tribune.
.svvho taueht YOU to lie like that7"
aft Is merely the logical DEVELOPMENT Of
an inherited gift. daddy y-''-C1eveland
Plain Dealer.
ssEarmers'' announced the fair visitor
from the city "are Just as dishonest as
CHOW d'ye make that out?" asked her
host. .,,
ing water every one of the cows before
he MIXED .''-C1eve1and Plain Dealer.