The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1906-05-03

Madame" remarked Pa Jones, In a
chesty sort of a tone, as he majestical-
~ STROBE into the happy home and de-
posted a package on the dining table,
81 think that 1 have told you on one
or two occasions that your lord and
master was something Of an artist! !
think that 1 have mentioned the fact
that when 1t comes to Singing paint
the man whom you and your dear
mother led like a lamb to the altar has
no peer among the knights of the smear
ful brush! Unless my memory fails
me / think that I have also informed
you"
What are you talking about, you
crazy freak?" demanded the petulant
Ma, urging little Fido to recede beyond
the hoof range of Pa. 'what are you
trying to stutter? What ails you this
time? Where does 1t hurt you? Why
don't you
BE calm, sweet vloletsl Be calm 7"
rejoined Pa. with a condeucending smile.
Don't agitate yourself! This is no
time to work yourself up into a spell
Of snapful hysteria! This is no time
to show the pretty spirit of the kinky
Smiths! What do you suppose 1 am
talking about? What would you call
1t II you tried to give a guess? Do
you think that I am cackling quotations
from Shakespeare? Do you imagine for
n moment that 1 am giving you q
squally recitation with all the elocu.
tionary frenzy that accompanies III
Not on your life. darling! Not on your
life! | am singing the song of paint
I am preaching the gospel of linseed oil
and turpentine! T. I am
"For mercy's sake. forget it. you gar.
rulous gabber !" was the irritable inter.
ruption of Ma. "You sound worse than
a squawkful crowd Of crows! You
sound worse than the buzz Of a brass
band! Why don't you talk sense? Why
don't you act"
Il won't forget 1t, madam! l won't
forget it." responded Pa, shoutfully
II refuse to boost 1t from my mind!
am going to add further fame to the
artistic tastes of the Jonsesi I an
going to heap more laurels on the indy
Ing glory of my noble ancestors! l an
going to paint the interior Of this
house. / am going to decorate"
whats thatY" exclaimed Ma, farins
up like an arc light, and throwing heI
eagle orbs on the old man. What die
| you say, you heather! Sing 1t owe
again to me! Just MARBLE 1t once more
I want to"
"You heard what I SAID, Smithy
You heard what | said" interrupted
| the explosive Pa. "You are not SO deai
| for an old lady! You haven't got your
earbobs on! l think that you heard
me remark that 1 was going to do thu
painful stunt. | think that you heard
me a~rticulate that l was about to dec
crate home. sweet home, with this cal
Of ready-made juice! / think"
mo you don't, Hen Jones. No yot
don't." was the indignant ejaculation
of the exercised Ma. do you suppos,
that / I'm going to let you make a foo
Of yourself without q kick? Do you
suppose that 1 am going to stand quiet
ly by and let you smear up the hous'
and ruin everything in 1t without
yelp? You just bet that I won't, MI
zap! You just bet that / won't!
have seen some of your artistic work
I have seen you make a monkey o
yourself before! / have"
whats the matter with you, won
an? What's the matter with you, duck,
dearY' roared Pa, in a thunderatiol
voice. whats aching you, anyhow
: Chit Z do as l please In my ewl