Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-06-30
TELLING THE TRUTH.

After thinking the matter over for q long
time this man decided that he would cut
out all social cajolery. He determined to
abture white lies Of the kind that human
beings use as common currency all the
time and to give utterance to nothing but
the truth. He expected to have some DIM
Guilty In doing this. He knew that the
truth often had a harsh ring. but he made
up i,4s mind that he was going to lead his
own life. and, in tina pursuit Of that un-
alterabie purpose, he would let nothing
but the naked truth escape his lips. no
matter how 1t might cut.
He put l,as system Of absolute truthful
ness In operation one morning last week.
AZ he went out OF his gate on his way to
ONCE his next-d6or neighbor hailed him.
Beautiful morning, eh?" said the neigh
Il do not consider 1t a beautiful morning %
replied the truth-teller. Il consider 1t too
under this brusQus reply. put he made .
new start.
Somehow or another I always feel better
In hot weather than do when it's chilly
he said Il even take on weight when it's
warm. I certainly feel grateful over my
quick commissioners from that bad dose Of
typhoid fever Did you ever see a fellow
come around more quickly, after once get
Ting on MS 1eet, tnan naVe!
Yes" said the man determined to tell
the truth. Il do not think your recovery
has been very rapid. l have seen typhoid
patients pick up much more rapidly.
Dye mean to say I'm not looking inn
mense for a fellow that's been through the
siege haveip' inquired the neighbor trace
of annoyance. In his tone.
In my opinion you look very poorly"
the truth-telzsr replied. with stern determi-
nation not tc' be swerved-
n
morning, aren't your said the neighbor, q
bit acadulous1y. passing on
On the street car the truth-teller drew a
seat alongside another neighbor.
Say. old man." began this neghbor
cheerily, did l tell you what that two
year-old kid of mine said when / put on a
pair OF white duck trousers the other morn
ing?"
the air of man profoundly bored.
well, he said-ha! ha.-makes me laugh
just to think of It," said the neighbor.
You've heard that young 'un get of those
funny things, haven't your just about the
smartest little chap for his years on earth.
don't you think?'
Il do not think so,'' replied the truth
teller. Il have heard many children of his
their parents considered humorous"
Huh-what's that?' aared UP the truth
teller's neighbor. Say, you got up on the
wrong foot this morning. didn't you?
wonder II you expect to mako hit by go
ing around knocking peoples children
And the neighbor, sorely affronted, moved
over to the end Of the seat and spread out
his newspaper with angry look In his
eyes.
Near his office he met an elderly woman
friend whose daughter is in Europe study
ing singing.
I've just had a letter from my dear
child" said the elderly woman enthusiastic
cally, ''and she Is getting on so famously
q wi hn ha or In fx1yn
years now, and, my, what furore she Is
bound 10 create on the concert stage!
Don't you think so?''
Il can hardly venture to predict that"
said the truth-teller, with logged resoIu-
ton.
"Wha-what!" fairly gasped the aston
ished mother of the singing daughter. DO
you mean to say that"
1 grieve to be compelled to tell YOU that
l really never found much delight in the
young lady's voice. thoroughly appreciative
as l am of her many amiable qualities"
declared the truth-teller, with quiet en-
phasis.
sWhy. have you been drinking2" acridly
inquired the elderly woman. and she gave
her parasol a flourish and went her way
brfdling
claimed one of the truth-teller's old friends
bearing down upon him little later on
Say, l Just put this suit of clothes on at
my taiior's. Like it?''
new discrimination. Il do not" , sl'.-'
''Hey?" said the old friend, plainly sur
prised. Well, that's pretty brief and to
the point. What the deuce Is the matter
with the suit, according to your idea?'
Il think the material 10 too loud and
young for man Of your age." declared the
truth-teller, sticking to his guns.
Well. blast my eyes!'' broke out the old
friend. his face camsoning. IF that isn't
a crack Dye mean to tell me that I'm
going around trying to look young and gay,
That replied the truth-teller. lis the
tmpres sion must derive from the suit you
are wearing
The old friend stared at the truthsteller
Il tell you what my friend" he said,
friSidly, after pause, you need a rest
and a change of some kind. There's some
thing wrong with you. Must be something
wrong when you go around Insulting folks
this way and he went his way In high
dudgeon
Thus, about every fifteen minutes during
the day. the truth-teHer made some new
enemy by cleaving strictly to the chalk
mark of veracity.
On his way home that evening he had
MS pet corn most savagely albeit acci-
dentaiiy. stepped upon by a man who was
boarding the same car.
You'll pardon me- / hope" said the man
turning around most politely.
No, sir" firmly replied the truth-teller,
shall not pardon you. / do not feel in
L
your clumsiness. / should be merely ex-
pressing an untruth il l told you that
pardoned you"
Why, you Internal pulp-nut of a cur
mudgeon. youF' angrily replied the man
who had asked the truth-teller's pardon.
grabbing him by the coat and shaking him
as dog shakes a rat, till two of the coat
buttons flew off. What kind of a game of
talk dye think that Is to hand out to a
man that's trying to do the right thing
heyf and he shook the truth-teller some
more. I've great mind to hand you
wallop just for luck. and would for less
than two cents II you didn't look like some
COMPOUNDED shriveled dyspeptic that didn't
know any better-talking to a white man
like that!''
The truth-teller got off the car at his cor
ner, shook himself together and, with a
great white light beginning to percoIate
through him, made new resolution.
Hereafter he muttered to himself. I'm
going to outstrip them all in lying. I'm
going to be there with the oil, the paste.
the salve. I'm going to spread 1t on thick.
II kept on trying to be square to myself
I'd just about get lynched in this mans
town within week. Hereafter I'm going
to be the dog gonedest liar this side the
present abode of Ananias and his spouse
Sapphire, and II don't make Munchausen
look like three-cent piece 1t won't be
because haven't tried that's ALL"