The Plymouth tribune. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1901-1911, 1906-05-03

house? Can't I improve my own prop
erty without calling q conference of the
squawkful Smiths? Must l ask your
permission every. time I want to do a
new turn? Must l consult your dear
mother every time l want to change
my diet? No. precious treasure! EN-
phatically no! want you to distinctly
understand that I am the only high
priest In this synagogue! l want to
tell you right here that 1 am the only
hen on the nest! What l say goes, and
I don't want any Smith help to push 1t
along! Do you understand, Mrs. Jones?
Do you understand? / am going to do
just what my conscience dictates! 1
am going to paint the interior of this
peaceful dove cote, and what is more
tie procession will start in the sitting
room In Just fifteen seconds"
With this fiery assertion of his lordly
rights Pa Jones picked up the package
of paint and hustled for the sitting
room, closely followed by Ma, and not
w~ithstanding her strenuous objections,
was 500 opening cans and %unwrapping
brushes.
snow then. madam" said the exas-
perating Pa, as he mounted the step
ladder, 'just look this way and see a
reil thing paint! Observe your Uncle
Henry and get wise to the ways of
artistic skill! Notice the delicate touch
of a master hand! Cast your search
lights on"
"Shut up, you simple sinnerv retort-
ed Ma, angrily. ~ don't want to talk
to you. 1 don't want to hear your mu-
steal barkl You haven't got sense
enough to dodge the trolleys! You don't
know enough to steer clear of live
wires! You don't"
Don't be peevish, pretty Polly !
Don't be peevishl" broke In Pa, taunt-
ingly. Don't sit there and make a val
entine Of yourself! Why don't you eat
honey and try to look sweet? Why
don't you pull the twist put OF your
face and-Madam, can't you see that
dog? Can't you keep him out Of that
paint? Do you want him to eat that
indigestible stun and become as dys-
peptic as the rest of the Smiths? Get
out of that, you Internal kIoodle! Get
,.ur snoot out of that can, or I will
iam you clean through the tin roof, and
bang you up against a starry constella-
| toni Sneak. or u"
Pa got no further, for at that unhap-
py moment the step ladder yielded to
the vigorous disturbance at the top,
turned a sudden fip-fop, and the es-
teemed Henry took the most direct
route to the sitting room floor.
Naturally the pot of paint followed as
quickly as possible. and lost no time in
0lashfully spreading itself On Pas
ssical features. A few quarts also
/ on little Fido, whit the enraged Ma
got all that was coming to her and a
few spots to spare.
Il told you so, you contemplate
brute! / told you so !" shoutfully ex-
claimed Ma. as she theoretically piled
a fimsy handkerchief. II told you that
you would do 1t! told you that you
would make a monkey Of yourself. /
told you that you would ruin everything
in the"
Fly away, angel! Fly away" sput-
tered Pa, trying to unload a part of his
surplus complexion. "Hie thee hence
Get thee gone! You make me sad! You
make me sigh! If 1T hadn't been for
that blooming dog and the Earring ef-
feet of your seraphic song the ladder
wouldn't have upset."
1t was late at night when Ma
~wheezefully spouted the final word OF
the argument that ensued, and the next
day, while a graduated painter was fin
ishing Pas Job. the good lady went
down town and ordered a new carpet
for the sitting room.-Philadelphia Tel
egraph.