davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
Just Half Wav

you will understand" said the edi-
tor Of the new semihumorous publica-
ton, that we. don't wish our writers
to be either too funny or too serIouR
We just wish a-happy medium"
81 understand" chuckled the buff
foon scribe; you want them to be half
itty."-Chicago Daily News.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
His Fatal Error.

''You say Rev. Mr.. Newman was a
failure at your church,"
yes; he made the mistake Of at
tempting to bring the congregation
into harmony with his ideas, instead
Of bringing his ideas into harmony
with the congregation" -Philadelphia
Press.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
Ferdinand Ward in Wall Street.

QUIET little man,
p + e t e naturally
grave and self
poised for his hi-
larious locality. is
working in Wall
street in a trus.
company. He is
Ferdinand Ward,
once Ulysses s.
Grants partner in
the Wall street
firm whose failure
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
Frnm tha Trennh.

Dramatist-It'a the first perform.
ance Of my play tonight; feel so
jolly nervous.
Dramatic Adspter-Do you? never
feel nervous about mine.
Dramatist-Ah, but you have an ad-
vantage over me.
Dramatic Adapter-Whats THAR
Dramatist- Why, all your playa
have been played before.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
Pleasantrieg.

He (six weeks after the honey.
moon)-I suppose you think you were
a fool when you stood up and married
me?
she-Well, l was the next thing to q
fool!
He-That's true, or l wouldn't have
been there.-YonkeTs Statesman.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08

CIV YORK
next month Miss
r ooseVelt be-
comes Mrs. Long
worth she will be
related by mar
riage TO a very in
teresting group Of
Fren Oh notabili-
ties. Mr.. Long
worth's sister Is
the young Count
ess de Chambrun,
the niece Of the
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
pronrht d % I'd pate.

Little fye-year-old Edith was taken
to dentist who removed an achine
tooth. That evening at prayers heF
mother was surprised to hear her say:
Forgive Us our debts e. We forgive
our dsatlsta."
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
Would Seem So.

Teacher What is an engineer. Tom.
ny?
Tommy-A man that works an en-.
CINE.
Teacher That's right Now, Johnny
what is a pioneer?
Jolnny-A woman that works a pi-
ano.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08

is now agitating
New York society,
though smart we'd
dings of minor i'm
portance there are
as always. l thiul;
the most talked of
affair was the
opening of the
great house Of
] a m es H e mr. y
Smith, the "ox-
silent man of Wall
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08

sides, and does not fear to enter, as he
does not suspect trap. Cut the open
ings the size Of the glass to be used, and
insert the glass, placing brads on both
sides the glass to hold It in place.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
Her Aim.

I'VE can get you the divorce quickly
and without notoriety."
But don't want it that way;
want to have to put up a fight for It
and get It after protracted scufla
through the newspapers"
ooh, you're going on the stage, chi"
Houston Post.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08

"She is exceedingly we'll read" said
the admiring young woman.
"Indeed?" rejoined Miss Cayenne.
Eyes. She reads all the new books
as fast as they are published"
THAT means she is abundantly read,
but not well read."-Washingto STAR
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
A. M. PATTERSON.

Physician and Druggist. north
west corner Public Square,
Mexico, Mo.
Full line Of Staple Drugs and
Druggists sundries, Patent
Medicines, Dye stuffs, Etc.
A full assortment OF Homos.
pAthiC Medicines always on
hand. These remedies sent By
mail when ordered.
viii do strictly an Office praO.
doe.
ADVICE FRER
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
Odd. Indeed.

Hes an odd fish"
"Is, eh?"
"He is, for fact. l don't suppose
that fellow ever bought share OF
worthless mining stock in his life
Chicago Journal.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
Could Stand Pat.

81 can't understand why they called
Henry VIII. Bluff King Hal.
"Well, why. not?"
"a man with six queens doesn't
peed to bluff "-Cleveland Leader.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08

= cosmopolitan
museum gets a
great impetus to-
ward its due great
ness from the
Y erkes bequest
from the gift of
Mr.. Hearn aud
from the coming
Of It's new dirsc-
tor Sir Purdon
Clarke, and his
assistant formar
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08

animals has glass
window panes in
serted in sides ane
back, says tbs
Farm Journal. The
animal thus sees
through the tox,
and out at thu
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
He Had.

Knicker- Have you ever been at the
telephone in a stormq
Booker Um-yes, Ny wife occA-
sionally calls me up.-Judge,
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
ID Had-

did you ever do anything philan-
thropic?'
"Sure, done the OF geezer dat runs
de aid society outen de price Of an
overcoat."
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
Edncated.

"You say her daughters are highly
sducatedp
"They have been taught to say his
Is so sudden in every modern lam
guage Judge.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
The Line.

Mary had little waist
Where waists were meant to grow,
And everywhere the fashions went
Her waistwas sure to go.
IN. Y. Sun.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
Room for Doubt.

slow do you know she makes splen,
did biscuits?"
'she boasts of EN-"
Eyes; but her husband doesn't
Houston Post.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
MUST BE Humiliatinp.

Bessie-It's quite a come down for
him.
Tessie-What do you mean?
Bessie-When he is at home he be.
longs to the upper ten, but here at col.
lege he is on the second eleven.--Town
Topics.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
BOX TRAP WITH WINDOWS.
Contrivance Which Any Boy Can
Make That VIII Capture, Many
Small Animals.

This is for the boys to make. The old
fashioned box-trap for capturing small
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08

~ of the Boston Museum Of Fine Arts
The @a3able directors have taken on
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08

II is now arttatins
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08
IN THE METROPOLIS
RoosEvELTs RELATED TO FA-
NOUS FAMILIES OF EUROPE.
LoNowoRTH CONNECTION
Pathos Of Some Of New York's Great
Houses-Recent Gifts to Museum
--Berusrd shaw's Play
for Corbett.

- EW YORK.-When
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1906-02-08

H E Metropolitan
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-07
SEEK CAMPAIGN LEADER
Caucus on Congressional Chairman
ship To Be Held Soon.
Iron The Tribune Bureau

Tribune
washington. March "a caucus of Republican MS
VIII be called soon organize the Republican Con-
ersssionai Committee. Representative Babcock Of
Wisconsin. the chairman of the committee has de-
caieu ms intention of refusing serve again. and
representative Overstreet OF Indiana is equally de-
sirous or surrendering the secretaryship The
friends OF both Congressman will try to induce
lhefn to retain places on the committee
IN Ne" however. Of the positive declarations
mace both by Nj. Babcock and Mr. overstreet
mere mas been some canvassing for other cand-
dates Representative Sherman of New-York
WHO TOT eight years has been vice-chairman of the
Congressional Committee and thus In n nositio, 70
learn all the works OF the organization is declared
oy some TO be the logical successor in leadership
1t is pointed out that Mr.. Sherman has done much
OF the arduous work of the committee and is now
entitled TO recognition of his labor. Another argu-
ment used in his favor is that his selection would
nave an important relation to Republican interests
in New-York
Mt Sherman is not actively seeking the place
and declared to-day he was still hoping that there
would be no change IN the leadership The work
connected with place the Congressional Com
scramble for the place OF chairman or secretary
en- en- ease pressure is brought to bear. however Mr.
H tba Tawney. OF Minnesota chairman
party worker is also mentioned as a o. probabIe
tnol e., dor chairman OF the Congressiona! Commit
IN many campaigns and is familiar with the meth
signed as secretary solely because he did not feel
equal 10 the physical exertion required "A bsurd
statements have been made the effect that or
any other offcer Of the committee was piqued
he said. The Republican chances OF success are
as good as ever. and feel that all will pull
possible 80 A--N S
The Conversational Committee has always entered
INTO the field early heretofore, and preparation
OF campaign material begun as early as
March There is intention 10 be behindhand
this year, and the prospects the COMMITTEES
Will have been organized. its plans fully outlined
the end OF this month.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-07
COMPROMISE ON WATER.
City to Get CatskiIls Supply, but at
Enormous Cost.
lBy Telegraph to The Tribune. ]


Albany. March 6-Under the provisions Of a
bill introduced by Assemblyman Fowler, New
York City will gain entrance into the Catskills
as source Of water supply, but at a tremendous
cost The measure represents a compromise be-
tween the New-York City interests. represented
by Assemblyrnan Agnew, and the Ulster County
people. The bill drafted at the instance OF
the State Water Commission
The arrangement reached is that a previous
bill Of Assemblynan FowIer's. shutting New
York City out Of Ulster County. shall be dropped.
In return the New-York people will not object
to the Fowler bill. providing that before New
York City takes possession OF any land for the
extension Of its water system it shall pay half
the assessed valuation 70 the owner. They will
also agree to the Fowler bill, providing that
Kingston and other towns in the Esopus water
shed shall be allowed TO draw water from the
New-York water supply at the same price as
that 7aid by these municipalities now. their
supply TO be IN proportion to their populations.
No opposition will be made TO the bill provid-
ing that New-York City shall pay the expenses
Of changing Ktngston's sewerage system, now
emptying into Esopus Creek, that 1t ernpties
into the Hudson or Rondout Creek
A very important concession is that New
York City Will pay the indirect damages caused
by the condemnation of propert- taken for water
supply purposes. This cOnce ion II is esti-
mated. will amount 10 millions Of dollars.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-07
DAMNED EITHER WAY.
Mcclellan Says That Is Fate of
City Officials.

Mayor Mcclellan said yesterday that the city
had right TO assume that 1t would be allowed to
TO the Catskills for reinforcement Of It's
supply, and that, therefore the engagement OF
first class engineers by the Water Board was
entirely Justifable. The board yesterday an
nounced the OF nine engineers, as fol-
lows: Alfred D. Finn and Robert Ridgeway, OF
this city. department engineers at 5000 year
each; Thomas H Wiggin. OF Pittsburg, Pa, a de-
signing engineer. at $4,000 year; Carleton E. Da-
Wis, OF Browns Station. n. Y. department enzi-
neer. at Sc 600 year. John d. Groves. of Syracuse
Ralph w. Greenlaw. Frederick Ward, Leonard P.
Wood and Arthur V. Ruggles. OF this city. assist
ant engineers. at salaries ranging from $3.50 to
$4,000 a year The board has also appointed an
other junior clerk another Office boy and another
messenger.
The Water Board Is working all the time tia
Mayor said. There Is a lot OF preliminary work
to do and the engineers doing IL. We NOR
ally certain OF the Of the State Board. al
though do not know Yet under what restric-
tons shall be allowed 10 tao the EsOpCs water
II the board had done nothing and had made no
preparations they would be criticised. and now
they criticised because they working. In
these days damned If do and damned
II don't Well. for my part I would far
rather be damned for doing something than
damned for doing nothing"
The Water Supply Board has already salary
list of 100000
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-07
GOMPERS WANTS PEACE.
Here to Settle H0usemiths' Strike
Employer SAYS Too Late.

President Samuel Gompers Of the American
Federation Of Labor is expected in this city to-
morrow. and part Of his mission. it is said. viii
be TO confer with the representatives OF We
building trades to see IL they will not take some
action which may lead to a settlement OF the
strike of the Housesmiths and Bridgemens
Union against the allied iron associations. It
President Gompers to call a special meeting Of
the executive council OF the American Fedora
ton OF Labor IN this city try to get the unions
under the arbitration agreement 20 refuse to
work with non-union housesmiths. the allied
iron associations having declared the open shop
IN their trade.
Subsequently the unions under the arbftra-
ton agreement decided TO observe the agree
ment and not 70 declare sympathetic strike.
c. f Cheney. secretary Of the Allied Iron Asso-
citation. said yesterday when told OF the efforts
10 get the union recognized:
Mr.. Gompers is too late If he expects TO get
the Housesmiths and Bridgemen's Union recog-
nized. II he had come six months ago the chance
would have been better. The Allied Iron ASSOC
citation will stand by the open shop policy, and
every fresh dynamite outrage IS argument
that they are right II there responsible,
decent union which would keep agreements
and observe the laws. the case would be differ
ent, but the history Of the union. whatever tho
lence. murderOus attacks men Objectionable
to Its leaders. and wrecking property and en-
dangering life and limb by dynamite bombs and
other devices OF the kind.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-07
YOUNG GIRL Stabbed.
Second attempt on Her Life By
MYSTERIOUS ASSdiLant

Margaret Cahill, a seventeen-yearold daugh-
ter of ". D. Cahill, inspector Of highways
OF No. 14O1 Webster avenue. The Bronx. was
stabbed by unknown man at her home yes
terday afternoon. Upon entering her bedroom
she found a man sitting in a window which
opens on an airshaft He at once bounced upon
her inflicting a two-inch cut on her left Shout
der. She screamed and her mother to her
assistance The fellow was standing over the
girl but fled when her mother appeared
An immense crowd soon gathered which the
reserves of the remont avenue station dispersed
During the excitement man who said he was
a detective ran in and insisted examining
Miss Cahill. He was locked UP. charged with
intoxication.
This is the SECOND time attempt has been
made to stab the girl on February 10. as she
was lighting the gas in the hall, man jumped
out from under the stairs and tried TO stab her.
but her corset detected the knife. Since that
time the girl has received several threatening
ANONYMOUS letters. Miss Cahill has enemies
that she is aware of and cannot account for the
attacks. She describes her assaiant of me-
dunn height dark hair and complexion with
the appearance of a foreigner.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-07
ASPHALT TRUST IN FIGHT.
Counsel at Albany Takes Up Cudgels Against
Supporters of Pavement Bill.
by Telegraph to The Tribune. !

1eIcRrHph 70 Inc Iribune
Albany. March GA hearing on the Agnew
bill before the Assembly Cities Committee to-day
permitting New-York City to solicit bids for
patented pavements under certain conditions,
resolved itself into battle between the asphalt
trust" and representatives OF civic organizations
who believed that by competition the city could
be better served.
l. Latin Kellogg appeared for the Barber
Asphalt Company In opposition to the bill, argu-
ing that the city would be at the mercy Of a
paving monopoly if the way were opened for
patented pavements, as only the patented article
could be used in repairs. He said there was
no asphalt trust
Postmaster WILCOX said that If the bill were
passed the city could choose pavenents for GER
tain streets best adapted to their needs from
which 1t now was debarred. John @. Coleman,
of the West End Association; Homer Folks ex-
Assemblyman Bostwick, and others spoke for
the bill.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-07
URGE SEASIDE PARK SCHEME.
Physicians and Hospital Officials Speak in
Favor of Tompkins Bill.
[By telegraph TO The Tribune.

Albany. March 6.-Physicians representing
NETWORKS crowded hospitals. and officers of
her charitable societies. appealed to the As
sembly Cities Committee to-day for the Tomp-
kins BILL giving to the city power to establish a
convalescent hospital and seaside park in Nassau
County. DR. ]. W. Brannan, DR.. w. o. North
rop, Homer Folks. DIR. s. s. Goldwater and Gay
lord s. White appeared for the measure. while
representatives of Nassau County argued that
New-York should not be permitted TO take from
the taxable valuation of that county any portion
OF its beach.
Dr. Brannan said that the seaside park would
be under the PARK Department. emphasizing the
attractiveness and enhancement of the value Of
adjacent properties. Mr. Folks declared that the
seaside park essential a part Of the equip
ment Of city seashOre as is a veranda for
q country house. The high death rate anon &
New-York's population is evidence, not Of race
suicide but of wholesale child murder he said.
One-ffth of all children died before they reached
the age of two years
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-07
ELECTIONS IN VERMONT CITIES.
License the Chief Issue-Two Places Change
to Prohibition.

Burlington, Vt, March 6-An Of the six cities
in Vermont elected mayors to-day. In this city
Mayor James z. Burke. Democrat. was reelected
by IA majority The voters declared for license
by ISL majority. Rutland elected Charles E Paige
Republican. Mayor by $50 plurality. and favored
the license law by a majority Of 1876 votes Mayor
William Barclay reelected in Barre by q
margin of 500. The city went for no license by II
votes.
Mayor of Montpelier by reclamation. and in YER
gennes Harvey Ketcham. Republican. re-elect-
ed In St Adams the Republicans reelected Mayor
H Elmer Wheeler. The city again favored license
all six cities the license question the CHIEF
issue Two OF the cities Montpelier and Yer
gennes. changed from license to no license by small
Inaiorities.
Complete returns from all the 245 cities and towns
in the state received late tonight show that the
license supporters sustained slight losses. Last
year thirty-sx the towns and cities declared for
license but returns from to-day's elections
this number somewhat, only twenty-five munich
paIities voting in favor of license.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-03-07
TJLLMAN HARD AT WORK
us LEGAL AID ON BILL.
U7iH Hare Great Distrust of Al
Uenburm Measure amendments.
prom The Tribune Bureau. ]

,z-ssh,ng1on, March 6-Senator Tfllman is
,..i,,, pt work on the report OF the majority of
-. committee on Interstate Commerce ON the
,-o,h,,-n Rate bill He expects TO present IT to
- senate next Tuesday. The minority report
- ba drawn by Senator Eikins. will be put in
!. che same time. Senator Tillman is invoking
-. aid OF the best legal talent in the Senate
..,,o,sble TO the bin in perfecting II. as he
-.,rzes the disadvantage at which he is placed
:, not being lawyer
ONE Of the ironical features of the commit
- action In shouldering the charge OF the bill
:. senator Tillman the placing OF the re-
~-,,sb.lity for q complex legal and highly i'm
.~.sn, measure a who pretends TO be
-.,bing more than a plain farmer. But the bur-
-, rests on q who also has a modicum OF
common sense and stock Of undoubted hon
.s,v Of purpose. He knows what the friends OF
rsta legislation want, and he will have no trouble
!, finding men with legal acunen TO that
che essential provisions properly guarded.
beware OF the Greeks bearing gifts is the
.,o,fo Senator Tillman will adopt in considering
condiments for judicial review offered by the
,,,-a-oonservative Senators. He says he will
ashv at al such propositions as a horse does at
q White stump in the moonlight on the road
s,ss " and they will have TO be made plain 10
him before he approaches them with confidence.
Enr
sew amendments will come in roundab bout way
-u,o speeches on the rate bill will be made in
,re Senate tomorrow. sandwiched in the time
s.voted 10 the Statehood bill Senator Scott Of
West virginia and Senator Clapp, Of Minnesota.
viii address themselves 10 the rate measure.
senator Clapp is standing with Senator Deliver
Cor The Hepburn bill with as few amendments
ss possible. Senator Scott Will pay his respects
10 the railroad situation in West Virginia and
VII advocate an amendment providing greater
facilities for connecting trunk lines with coal
roads
Next Monday Senator Culberson OF Texas viii
deliver his speech the rate question in
which he will develop e difference OF opinion
with otEer Democratic Senators, and show the
r.ft IN the Democratic lutte. Senator Culberson
has bill OF his own. which in some respects
Is more radical than the Hepburn bill One i'm
portant feature OF his speech will be a Demon
siraIion OF difference OF opinion between him
self and his colleague from Texas. Senator
Bailey.
Al an early date the two most important
be made by Senator Knox and Senator Spooner
They being urged 10 speak as soon as pos
sibe as the conservatives are banking heavily
OF their speeches turning sentiment IN favor
Of g stiff judicial review.
Senator Knox. as the man who won the fight
against the Northern Securities merger while
Attorney General is looked TO by the conserva-
tives 10 present an argument for judicial re-
view which may win some Democratic
votes and keep some Republicans from follow
ing Aessrs. Dolliver and Clapp.