Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-04-29

"Side stepping. Dodging! 1t don't mat
ter what resolution 1t is l forget which
track of their titles. But that amt the
point Why hasn't 1t been reported? 1
demand to knowl 1 want my rights! I'll
have 'em I'll make a speech on this in
or, perhaps. 1t Is of a Tuesday. The
Honorable William has charged himself
over night.
MIR. Speaker" he fixes, 81 have intro
duced a bill for a congressional investiga-
ton of that Infamous, dastardly, con-
temptible. cowardly, outrageous, insuffer-
able and monstrous combination of capt.
tai and corruption. the telegraph trust. The
Wireless Telegraph Lnemen amt being
treated right. I'm going to make a speech
next week and show you. don't know
the facts. just the same. Why hasn't that
bill been reported by that dot dash and
carry one. committee on rules?"
Or maybe it Is of a Wednesday,
Mr.. Speaker, says the Honorable
William, 81 demand that we go TO war!
England must be punished The insolent
American eagle! At twenty three minutes
after four O'Clock in the afternoon of the
18th of May. 1901, in the city of Bombay,
which l understand is located somewhat
east of New York insolent minion of
the British government made a face at an
American flag pinned on the breast Of
free-born American citizen by the name of
O'Shea. / demand action! Why hasn't
that dash to dash and return committee on
rules reported my resolution demanding
formal apology? Why hasn't that"
Settler from New York, ladies and gen.
tlemen. Settler from New York! Fizzy.
effervescent, sputtery seltzer! Highly
charged and hubby; Notwithstanding and
harmless! Settler from New York, ladies'
and gentlemen, Settler from New York!
And so it goes. The Honorable William
Is serving his sixth term. He will serve six
more il he happens to feel so inclined. For
up among his constituents the Honorable
William Appolinaris Sheboygan Deeprock
Kissengen Seltzer-Sulzer Is a great man.
Nary baby be christened in his dis
trict unless the Honorable William is on
hand to sputter few. Not a Fourth OF
July rolls by but what the Honorable VII
liam fizzes and bubbles Not a political
chat but what the Honorable William must
be on hand to effervesce. He's great man
in his district. He has educated his peo-
pie some. has the Honorable William APP
polinaris Sheboygan Deeprock Kissengen
Seltzer-Sulzer.
The Honorable William sputters around
the committees He fixes himself into
print. He efferyesces his way into public
notice Is there hearing before the COM
mittee on the bill to establish a home for
INDECENT shopIifters? Then the Honorable
arated seidlitz powder stunt. He distrib-
utes copies of his syphonesque remarks.
He bubbles into the papers
Is there bill about to be reported IA
vorably from committee? The Honorable
William makes a speech about 1t. Is the
same bill about to be passed by the House?
The Honorable William makes another
speech about 1t. And when the bill Is
passed the Honorable William gives out an
Interview Such buildings. So many efyer-.
vescencesi Such sputtery fame! Such
ffzzy. publicity! Such proud constituents!
Dear old William Apolinaris Sheboygan
Deeprock KIssengen Seltzer Suizer!
Settler from New York, ladies' and gem
tlemen! Settler from New York! Fizzy
effervescent, sputtery seltzerl Highly
harmless! Settler from New York, ladies'
and gentlemen! Settler from New York!
/. C. N.