davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1906-03-18

query and invited me to have a
drink"
1--WE known him to reproduce
roast of himself" 1 observed.
"Oh yes, he's game said Lackaye.
Hes always ready to roast actors,
but when one Of them comes back
at him be prints it Ethel Barry
more gave him some neat little digs
and ne was enough of a sport to
publish them. We INDUCED in sew
eral verbal scrimmages while 1 was
out on the coast. The day 1 opened
in The Pit the people at the theater
told me with great satisfaction that
Ashton Stevens was going to cut my
opening and go around to hcar a
Mexican opera singer that San Fran
cisco had discovered
"A few hours later 1 met Stevens
and he asked me what kind of a play
had. 1 told him TO come around
the following night and see for him
self.
"TIl be there tonight he said
"No you won't retorted. You
are going 10 hear the opera. They
told me so at the theater'
We'll they're wrong he replied.
I'll be at your opening. But 1
really wlut to hear what you hon
estly think of The Pit"
1T is rank melodrama.' I con-
fded to him. There are a couple
of problems carefully concealed in
the play, but we don't permit the
audience to discover that fact
The next morning 1 met Stevens
again.
al don't think 'The Pit" is half as
rotten as you describe it, he said
." Naturally not I observed You
are not educated up TO the point Of
realizing how bad it is"
And Lackaye chuckleG.
do you think a man whois known
The Washington times., 1906-03-18

stage to be a successful dramatic
critic
He was making notes at the time
and without looking up. replied:
ct suppose you mean he has seen
too much Of the seamy side?'
Then he glanced caught my
eye, and added swiftly:
Unless, of course, you mean the
obvious gag
"1'n bet you twenty dollars
said, that you won't use that in
your interview
Then you're out twenty he an
sWered
He did mention it IN his story,
but softened it down considerably.
1 met him the day after it was
published and asked him who owed
the twenty, but he passed up the
The Washington times., 1906-03-18

AlhCA4Ohho, AS odlu ANOW IL ncu
wished to say that l should have
remarked, "if you drink Scotch
whisky in the evening you are not
so likely to have head next morn
ing as if you should drink rye" The
English use of the impersonal pro-
noun is so much better than our
brutal American YOU
YES / agreed, but then. Of
course, in England "One" does drink
Scotch whisky
applauded noiselessly,, but the
artist looked puzzled.
That is one Of the most remark
able facts about England that I OBJ
served when first visited the coun-
try" he added. "An Englishman
entered one Of the clubs while I was
there, and observing a fellow coun-
tryman, who was evidently a dear
friend, rushed up to him with out
stretched hands.
I say old chap, how are your
he exclaimed in rapturous delight.
Fetch me a Scotch he called over
his shoulder to the waiter 4 have
not seen you for years. he contin-
ued, shaking his friends hand en-
Enthusiastically. And how are all the
members Of your famiiyZ-and a ci-
gar, waitah-I must run down and
spend few weeks with you
"And when the waiter returned he
lighted his cigar and crank his
Scotch, while continuing to tell his
dear friend how glad he was to see
him again
Custom of the country, of course"
said Laekaye, passing me his cigar
cite case, and selecting one him
self But l met one Englishman
who knew the American custom
quite well. We were introduced
and he managed to discover my
nationality
"'Oh, you are from Americal' he
exclaimed with satisfaction. Really,
you know, 1 am quite familiar with
your remarkable American custom
of treating" You can buy me a
Scotch. don't you know"
His Renaissance recalled to me a
conversation he had held in San
Francisco with Ashton Stevens, Of
the Examiner, a few months ago, in
which the actor and critic had
scientifically discussed the subject
Of Lackaye's wit.
I mentioned the interview.
Il caught Stevens mapping on that
OCCASION" he observed. II was tell
ing him how many people 1 meet in
the course of my travels, who have
once been on the stage. Every
where go 1 run across some one
who confdes to me the raet that he
or she had once been an actor You
find them in all professions and all
trades-dOctors, lawyers, cIergymen,
street cleaners, street car conduc-
tors, blacksmiths, and in fact near
ly every walk in life. But I have
never found an ex-actor in the ranks
of dramatic critics. I mentioned the
fact to Stevens.
That's So he agreed. Come to
think of it / can't recall one
There is a very simple explana-
ton for it. Stevens, if you stop to
figure it out l said. You see any
one who has been an actor several
years knows too much about the
The Washington times., 1906-03-18

community in the country; little
criticules who think it is an evidence
of their persDicacity to see good in
no production"
But isn't that reflection on the
intelligence of their readers?'
''It is nevertheless the case. Their
readers see a play and then read
what these criticuIes have to say next
morning. They they go around from
barber shops to saloons peddlng
these brilliant thoughts as their own.
Some one asks them what they think
OF the previous nights performance,
and they hand out one OF their idols
pet phrases, but with the quotation
marks clipped of If a play comes
along and get a good notice they
say:
why that must be a great show.
Look at the notice So-and-so gave
them. You know he's a corking good
critic. He roasts nearly everything
that comes 20 town."
ct is a characteristic failing Of
newspaper readers. Why, right here
in Washington If you ran column
story praising some Senator-say
Beveridge-in extravagant terms,
you would hear men on the street
say:
at wonder how he fixed it to get
that pun in The Timesi'
But if your column story should
be a severe roast or the gentleman
from Indiana. you would hear these
same men say
Gee, did you read that roast The
Times gave Beveridge? They're on TO
him all right"
II saddened me 10 hear such eyni-
cism, so 1 changed the subject
You must be a godsend TO yCIr
advance man." 1 observed.
Il don't see him very often. %
Lackaye replied However can
usually dig him up a dog story when
he is really up against ii. I suppose
you call press agent yarns dog
stories in Washington as they do in
other cities2"
admitted a slight working knOwl-
edge of the term.
That reminds me Of a discovery
made recently" said Lackaye. Il
chanced TO be looking over the die
tionary and ran across a word which
may he the origin of the epithet. The
word is pseudography. Do you get it q:
Pseudo-false; graphy-writing. Am
right?"
You win" 1 admitted. "Jot that
down. I said TO the artist, I'VE viii
play up Mr.. Lackaye's discovery II
big type"
= Our conversation took us back L
Lackaye's earlier work, and I men
toned his connection with the IA
nous all-star cast that presented
The Rivals" some nine OF tel
years ago, with Joe jefferson in tn,
role Of Bob Acres.
L spent many pleasant hours
: with Jefferson during that engage
, ment," he said. 4 remember on
night the audience called for hin
and I held the curtain back to le
him out. He stood besid me for +;
a moment before appearing befOr,
s the audience, and was visibly wor
d ried. He rubbed his forehead AM
: mumbled TO himself for a whil
: and then appealed TO me.
r What shall I say TO then
K Lackaye,' he inquired.
The Washington times., 1906-03-18

on the stage Of the Ma
tional Theater last Sun
day afternoon / advanced
toward him with a few well chosen
words Of welcome to his native viii
lage and escorted him to the New
Willard.
His first act after arriving in his
room was to carefully remove from
an inner pocket a number Of news
paper clippings which he tenderly
spread over the top of his dressing
table. He must have detected look
Of apprehension in the mirror re-
Election of my face.
Don't be alarmed he said reas-
suringly. These are not press
notices as you might fatuously sup
pose. 1 make it my business to clip
from the papers all the freak news
items and newspaper breaks tha: l
run across and mail them to my
friend Rose Fields. You know him,
of course?''
admitted that | did. Fields runs
a humorous column in the Chicago
Evening Post.
He handed me a few specimens
over which each in turn he chuckled
with delight One in particular had
won mis- fancy 1t referred with all
gravity TO the absence. or presence,
at some function Of the '"hoipopuloi. 8"
Can you beat that?" he inquired
gleefully.
Our clipping investigation was in
terrupted by the arrival of selected
assortment of high balls, which
somehow caused the conversation to
drift TO the subject of Scotch whisky
And hat reminded Lackaye Of re-
cent experience at the Players Club
in New York.
Il ordered a whisky and ginger ale
the last time l was there he said.
THE waiter was an English impOr-
tation. He brought me glass Of
what l fondly supposed was the bev-
erage I had ordered. When 1 tast-
ed it 1 almost choked.
"1n heavens name what is this
stuff you have given me?' inquired.
Whisky and ginger ale, sir he
replied.
Bring me the bottles l COM
manded.
"He did so. One was a bottle of
imported ginger ale and the other
a bottle of Scotch whisky"
I will pass hurriedly over Lack
aye 3 ISCOllSCllOuS VI uio III 4C-
marks to the writer.
"Has it come to this?" he had
continued to the shivering waiter
This is an American club-remem-
ber that. When an American orders
whisky he means American whisky
rye whisky-do ypu understand;
If he wants Scotch whisky ne will
say Scotch"
"An Englishman was seated next
TO me-" continued Lackaye, "and
when the waiter departed he turned
to me and said: But don't you
find that if one drinks Scotch in the
evening one is not so likely to have
a head next mOrning%
"a friend of mine-an American
was with me.
"'How much better our English
cousins express themselves than we
The Washington times., 1906-03-18

~'oh, give them one Of your
canned Ones answered
No. he said, in his quick, jerky
little way of talking that is IA
miIiar to almost all Americans
No, l must say something new
This is an unusual production I
must be original, Lackaye.'
"'AII right I said, pulling the
curtain aside, go ahead
He bowed to the audience. and
then hesitated percepdbIy. Finally
he plunged in.
Ladies and gentlemen he said,
and paused In behalf of the
company, as well as myself, wish
to thank you for your generous
reception tonight 1 am glad you
are enjoying our play. and wish
TO tell you that we are also having
a good time up here on the stage
Your kindness Is a great assistance
10 US. When I see so many smiling
faces before me tonight I feel ike
reaching out and shaking hands
with every one AS I can't do that
I will simply say that thank you,
one and all, for your reception.
Good-by.'
"As he came back he took me by
the arm
% Well, Lackaye.' he said; what
did you think Of my speech?'
The worst I ever heard l re-
piled. He looked very much sur
prised.
"'Come into my dressing ROOM
he said
when we were alone, he turned 10
me and said: Now Lackaye. what
was wrong with that speech?'
Why it was the worst case OF
mixed metaphors I ever heard /
told him. You said that when you
saw so many smiling faces before
you, YOU felt like reaching out and
shaking hands with every one Of
them. Now how can you shake
hands with a smiling face? You
might with John Drew, but not with
those people out In 'front.'
The old man sat there muttering
the lines over TO himself. then
glanced up quickly with a look Of
CONSERVATION on his face.
You're right. Lackaye,' he said.
Quite right. And I have been say
ing that for thirty years and neTsE
noticed it
The following night he was call
ed out again slipped around on the
other side and hid He began as
usual: Ladies and gentlemen, on be
half" and so on When he
reached the smiling faces he stopped
and looked back ar the wings, but Of
course I was not IN sight. He hesi-
tated and stumbled and then added
quickly, I feel like shaking hands
with every one
"A few minutes after he had reach
ed his dressing room a boy came 70
me and said that Mr.. Jefferson wish
ed to see me in his room. When /
walked in he looked up at me rather
shamefacedly and said:
well, Lackaye. 1 did 1t again
tonight I told them I wanted to
shake hands with their smiling
faces
AS I said goOd-by called his at
tention TO the fact that he had not
authorized me to inform the palpitat-
! ing public of Washington how much
it pleased him 10 get back TO his na-
, tive village, etc, etc. And I think
he felt apologeJically inclined regard.
ing his culpable oversight, for he
. Immediately rushed an order over
the house phone that delayed my do
parture another five minutes.
FRANK MORSE
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07
.Enlsslt DOCTORS Praise Its InersdIsat,.

We refer to that boon to weak, nervous,
suffering women known as DR.. Pjerce'e
Favorite Prescription.
DR.. John Fyfe one of the Editorial STAFF
OF ,IHE ECLECTIC MEDICAL. REVIEW SAYS
Of Unicorn root (HeIOpt1s Dtotcd) which
Is one Of the chief ingredients Of the sFa.
vOrite Prescription y:
inc invigorator makes Tor normal ac.
tivity 6 the entire reproductive system
ment which more fully answers the Above
acquainted. In the treatment Of diseases Pc s:
c Gull! r, to women IT Is seldom that case is
for this remedial agent" Dr.. Fyfe further
says: aThe following are among the leading
indications for HelOnias Unicorn root. Pain
atomic aweakS conditions Of the Reproductive a;
reliability. associated with chronic diseases OF
sensation of heat In the region of the kid
neys; menorfhagia fooding) due to weak
ened condition of the reproductive system;
periods. y. arising from or accompanying an
abnormal condition Of the digestive organs
and anemic (thin blood) habit; dragging
sensations IN the extreme lower part OF the
II more or less Of the above symptoms
are present, no invalid woman can do
better than take DR.. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription, one of the leading ingredi-
ents OF which Is Unicorn root, or HelOnias,
most faithfully represents.
OF Golden Seal root, another prominent
Ingredient Of aFavorite. Prescription
Prof. Finley Ellingwood, M. D., OF Benz
nett Medical College, Chicago, says:
ut is an Important remedy In disorders Of
the womb. In all catarrhal conditions .
and general enfeeblement. it is useful"
.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07
An Example OF a Judicial Mind.

An Example OF n Judicial Mind.
At a dinner attended by a score Of
well known lawyers recently the phrase
judicial mind" was defined by illus
tration as follows: 81 have searched
far and wide for satisfactory deflni-
tion Of the Inevitable query raised when
Judicial nominations are in sight" said
one Of the lawyers. con Mississippi
river steamboat some time ago I OBJ
tanned my only approximate answer.
A southern colonel who employed the
phrase yielded to my request for q
definition and explained that on GER
tain occasion a legal light Of Missis-
slppi was travelling in river steamer
when the boiler exploded. AS the boat
was passing the penitentiary at the
time the force Of the explosion deposit
ed the lawyer inside the walls of the
establishment from which he had saved
so many criminals. Being uninjured,
as clever lawyer would be under the
circumstances, he applied to the ward
en- for release. The warden listened
to the circumstances as he narrated
them, but declined to release him, in
sisting that with the coming of prison.
ers he had no concern, but for their
departure he was responsible He
therefore compelled the lawyer to wait
for a pardon from the governor. That
Is my notion of judicial mind."-New
York Post
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07
Eating Snails.

-Four Britons ate snails at French
restaurant In Brighton, England, not
long ago. Their experiences are de-
scribed as follows: I'm due course the
plates appeared, each bearing half a
dozen snail shells Of a dingy white. A
slender two pronged tork accompanied
each dish. With this the snails were
jerked out, their big black horns com.
ing first, accompanied by small erup.
ton Of gravy. One Of the experimenters
looked critically at the uninviting OBJ
ject at the end of his fork, then he shut
his eyes and popped it. into his mouth.
His teeth met on something yielding,
but tough, rather suggestive Of india
rubber. All four epicures manfully ate
their six snails.''
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07
SPELLING REFORM.

It has become quite popular
among certain class of news
papers and individuals to scott at
the spelling reform championed
by Andrew Carnegie and his
simplifed spelling board. If
words were spelled as they
sound, or Theoretically, they
would look so absurd, it is
argued.
This is undoubtedly true, they
would look absurd to those of US
who have learned to spell them
the old way, and we might have
some trouble in getting used to
the new style. For this reason
any reform must necessarily be
a slow process; few words at a
time.
But there is no question that
our spelling needs reforming,
and any movement in the right
direction, like that of Carnegie
and his board, are to be en-
couraged and not laughed at.
They are but one of the number
less forces that have been at
work since the first written
English to simplify the spelling.
One has merely to read one of
the old authors, writer's of Eliza.
beth's time, to realize how many
changes have been made in the
direction of simplicity in the last
two or three. hundred years or
more. Our Spelling would look
ridiculous to Bacon, could he
come to life, and even such a
recent writer as Thackeray would
probably puzzle oyer some of our
words. What would he think of
honor and program, and a dozen
others?
These changes toward SIMPLE
ity are brought about gradually,
and doubtless one or two hun.
dred years more will make vast
difference IN the looks of a printed
page, especially in the United
States, where we are far more
advanced in our spelling than in
England. It would be interesting
to return in, say. two hundred
years and to read one of the
newspapers of our decendents.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07
The Rall In Lawn Teuuia.


It Is curious fact that every book
written on lawn tennis cautions the
player to keep his eyes on the ball at
the moment Of striking it, yet there are
very few expert players who do so.
A rifle shot looks at his target, a bowler
looks at the pins, and billiard player
generally looks at the object ball, not
the cue ball. have found it next to
impossible to carry in my mind, while
moving rapidly to play a flying ball, the
exact height Of the net, the direction of
the lines Of ny opponents court and
his position, so that it has become
second nature with me and with most
other players to look up in the direction
that the ball is to 60 before it actually
leaves the racket. 1t Is principally be-
cause the reverse of this is necessary
In golf that lawn tennis players have
SO much trouble in mastering the old
Scotch game. From tennis habit they
take their eyes off the ball too soon for
golf success.-J. Parmly Paret in Coun-
try Life In America. e..
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07

The sight of St. Paul boosting
for the proposed Minneapolis
Armour packing house is certain
ly one to cheer a pessimist. Time
was when, if a St. Paul news.
paper had spoken kind word
for Minneapolis, or a Minneapolis
paper spoken we'll of St. Paul, a
hundred or so indignant sub
scribers would have stopped
their papers. The world is grow
ing better, alright, in spots.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07
Baking Bread.

The action Of yeast on dough con.
verts some of the starch into sugar.
Then the sugar is made into carbonic
acid gas and alcohol. When the dough
Is baked the alcohol is driven off. If
the bread is underbaked some Of the
yeast may remain unkilled, and sucl,
bread by being kept may have more
Of it's starch changed into sugar. Thor
0ugh baking kills all yeast, and keep
ing of such bread does not cause any
ripening. Stale bread is more digesti.
BILE than new bread solely because it is
more easily masticated.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07

The bright editor of the Crook
ston Times has discovered 'sthe
reason why so many newspapers
flourish in Belnidjl; it takes half
of them to take back the stories
that the other half publish. y
Said B. E. has been afflicted with
an ache in the region of the waist
band ever since the new charter
carried in Crookston.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07
.---..=-. ..s- -. --a-------.---
A WOman's Revenge.

It Is perfectly incomprehensible how
man can 60 on wearing the clothes he
does-how he can balance on his head
a huge black jam pot with a ledge to
1t, incase his limbs in long, tight sacks
Of dingy hue and wear round his man
~ throat something resembling a shin
Ing metal band. Every new fashion
for man that comes out appears to
me uglier than the last.-Spinster in
M. A. p.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07
SUBSCRIPTION IS PER YEAR

julius Block has decided not
to go after Charlie Davis con-
gressional job in the Third dis
trict, if reports in the city papers
are true. Too bad, he could have
landed it.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07
The State Press

Rochester Post and Record:
Complaint is made of the quality
of paper upon which the Con-
gressional Record is printed.
The thing we always admired
most about the Congressional
Record is the quality Of the
paper upon Which it is printed.
Delano Eagle: An Investigator
found 81 per cent of ham in a can
of potted ham. It may have been
put there through some over
sight.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07
Why Ho Wanted n Pass.

When Jim Fisk was in his glory as
q railroad magnate one day he was
greatly annoyed by people asking for
passes over his road for all sorts Of
reasons. He was well worked up when
seedy looking Individual asked for d
pass and asked sharply, ION what
grounds do you ask for a pass?'
The applicant replied, Because 1
do not want to pay my fare"
Fisk called clerk and said to him:
Give this man a pass to anywhere
and return. He is the first man that
has told the truth today. Boston Her
aid.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1906-08-07
Moon Heat.

Many people suppose that moonlight
possesses great potency and has Won
ierful influence on or over animate
and inanimate things on our planet.
Such persons should remember that
moonlight is only reflected sunlight
and that the quality and quantity Of
the light thus reflected are not what is
generally imagined. In fact, it is a
truth which has often been demonstrate
ed by the speculative astronomers that
It would take 618,OOO full moons to
afford an amount of light equal to that
emitted by the sun, and, furthermore,
there is only sky space for $4,000 such
disks. Some heat comes from moon.
light. However, it Is in quantities SO
small that it cannot be measured by
ordinary Instruments. Flammarion
says that the amount of heat emitted
by full moon while at its zenith can
not be more than one eighty-thou-
sandth Of the amount that the sun sup
plies when standing on the meridian
on a favorable day in July. Such be-
ing the case, it IS really surprising
that intelligent people should consider
that the moon has such wonderful
Influence" over terrestrial affairs.