Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1906-09-04

thorough commence between two
people that the two should share
every thought, should express every
feeling; still less that they should
tell one another all that they know
Indeed, wise and delicate reserve.
even concealment, is more conducive
to sympathy and affection than the
blunt frankness which blurts out its
opinions and tells all it knows, with
out stopping to think how the tell.
ing may effect the hearer. More
over, it is true saying that:
Where ignorance is bliss.
'Tis folly to be wise"
And there is a possibility that one
may be misinformed or mistaken as
to the point OF view. The fruit
which lost our first parents Eden
was that of the tree of the knowledge
of good and evil.
The question of what and what not
to tell, both before and after mar.
enced in its answer by circumstances
and governed by tact and discretion.
There are some things which may be
forgotten and done with, as one
closes a finished chapter in a book
which one has read for the last time;
there are others which it is impossi.
BILE to forget, the consequences OF
which must endure for a lifetime,
perchance longer. These last no man
or woman has the right to conceal
from any who is to share that life.
1t neither is wise nor we'll; it is dis
honorable to enter into matrimony
with a ghastly skeleton hidden in a
closet, of which, with it's grewsome
contents, the party of the second
part is kept in ignorance until fight
is no longer possible. When the
bones have been buried beyond
chance of resurrection, and the
closet, swept, secured, and garnish-
ed, lies open to view, apparently just
like any other household cupboard,
and to the full as innocuous, 1t may
be, as the French say, quite another
pair of shoes.
In recent popular English novel
a clever woman of the world advises
a newly married friend: Always
tell your husband what you feel sure
he will find out anyway. 1t is a good
plan to have the first telling of what
ever may be told about you or your
affairs" Which, since there is much,
sometimes everything, in the art of
putting things, is sage counsel.
When there is an innocent secret
which cannot be kept after marriage
and which. were it known before
hand, possibly might make a differ
ence in the feeling of the one who
discovers it instead of being honest
ly informed concerning it, 1t is wiser
from even a selfish standpoint to
own up to IL before marriage.
"Open confession" then, is most as
suredly good for the soul" No
body likes to be cheated, and few
there be who forgive it.
If all men who make proposals of
marriage would do likewise, figura-
lively and literally, they would spare
themselves much humiliation and
annoyance later on, when the discov-
cry must be made under less favor
ably circumstances. Indeed, a year
or two ago, a high German court
granted decree of absolute divorce
TO a wealthy woman just married,
upon the plea that her newly made
husband had deceived her in regard
TO the fact that he wore a wig. She
possessed a constitutional antipathy
to a bald head, and the sight OF his
sent her into convulsions. She never,
never would have married him had
she known the truth, etc, and the
evident sincerity of her plea won her
case.
Apart from such instances as
these. there is an element Of jealousy
in the love of some men and women
which prevents them from enjoying
the bliss OF the present and drives
them to search out the past. They
cannot rest content without knowing
how many. II any. have held a place
in the heart which now is their own.
This tendency TO probe old wounds
is unhealthy and unwise. There Is
no need TO turn and rend the early
loves OF life. They are the school
days of the emotions. as compared
with the love of maturity. There
Is no need for the lover TO perjure
himself by forswearing all his former
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