Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-06-16

" ttn
matter?" '''S
perhaps YOU know thar Minds sacrn-
tary wrote = book about the Poles. He
never was IN Poland and he knows no
more about the Poles than the mut il,
the moon. My free lunch editor i =
role. North Pole ut that. seeing tbot
ne came from the most northern town in
"iahd' None ~ uS can spell his name
or even speak il. 50 We call him Smitb
We'll, asked Smith about the FSni,i.
mo and the polar bears, and he said he
never saw an Esquimo in his life. ANA gs
Tor polar bears, the author must bov,
meant Russian bears.
wrote redhot review of the book.
exposing the authors Ignorance of grot-
ogE' anu an the other olngics said he
was Just the man To write n hook obnut
diameterS. seeing that he didn't know tba
Inference between a diameter and n hard
wasn't it," ''''
Il daresay il was, answered the courl
mtroducer, though | must confess | az,
NOT know the difference myself What is
the difference"
Why said the editor. the one is =
hard boiled egg and the other isn't"
OH that's it, and what is a diameter
them
"A diameter" stammered the colonel.
II diameter isis something that he.
longs to the earth. don't you know. You
otten read such phrases as the diameter
OF the earth the fruits of the earth
and So forth"
oh | see" said the court ronortnr
II 5 a fruit, then. Perhaps it's some kind
OF egg plant. IN which ease il is not far
ON a llard boiled egg. Rut what has al
this to do with Sluggcr?"
has everything to do with Slug
ger, cried the colonel, warmly. 1T
made the Stvrriarf mad rs | expected
II would, but instead of coming himself
to see me he hires the Cardiff Giant Ia
20 10 Fresh News office aU@ demand an
Apology. The giant cunr~ ri&ht up Ia
| my desk and wants to know ii I'm Cot
mixer. 81 | points to Sluggcr. who is
nay substitute IN such cases. !iut S,;;a.
ger, instead ui giving the fellow Il civil
answer. he tells him to go 10 the North
! tule ana und out, and then there was
a night, IN which my name got badly
handled. rushed out for the pua;,,e
| hut It was an ambulance that was needed
most Poor Slugger will he of no more
| use Ia nr Ter a iung time to COME II
! II had been our young friend here" con
| tInued the colonel. looking admiriugty nj
Peters sturdy limbs, the giant would
he in the hospital instead of Shgger
! How would YOU like to bc an ed tor,
Sir Reginald"
II don know, sir am only school
| boy, said Peter. modeStN. Il couldu't
| write stories
You won't bc required Ia write any
| thing. Your duty will he merely 10 nc-
cupy my private Office and entertain Ger
! tain visitors when | haven't time 10 at
! tend To them. ana ire them ont if they
get too Saucy."
II wouldn't like that at all. sir;
| couldu' strike fellow smaller than my
self. and You are all SO very much
| smaller
Col Inkcr," said the court intro
| Queer. If the queen knew YOU were try
ing to induce Sir Reginald to leave the
court, she would he very angry. indeed,
! Take my advice and hire another slug
ger. or perhaps the Cardiff CHAT hin-
self"
~ good idea, if | can only coax him
away from the secretary said the
\ shril voice was heard outside. in
quirng for Sir Reginald.
Come in, boy" said the court intro
Queer, opening the door, and a small mes
Scngcr boy entered the room.
"A telegram for Sir Reginald said
! the boy; lis hes here"
! ~"
"Crickey!" gaspcd the boy "hr's "a
giant"
Peter opened the envelope and read:
Tome and see me,-Soapy.'
WHO is Soapyf ! never heard of
him"
He is the Court Blower. and he told
me To fetch you. He is down on the
! garden path waiting for you replied
the boy turning to go. Come along,
| please"
/ Peter followed the messenger. and
saw the Court Blower sitting on his lad
! der. ndustriously stirring the contents
of his Jug
"Oh, dear" thought Peter, feeling in
his pocket for his rubber ball. II hope
they don't want me to play Purly WurI
again.
This is kind of you to come" said
the Court Blower. "Fhe queen mas or
dcrcd me to make tougher balls, as the
ordinary ones always break in the play
ers fingers. | thought you might show
me how you handle the balls So we'll
Il don't think | can explain il, said
Peter, Have YOU been playing today
oh, no. | am inventng a new kind of
soap that will make strong bubbles. /
was told that leather is tougii sub
stance, 50 | am inycnting leather
soap"
Il see" said Peter. greatly relieved to
know he WAS not required to play the
game And have you succredcdE'
"Not vet sir. | have been only IA few
weeks al il, aud the leather has not
melted yet The AStrologcr kindly Of
fered to find out from the stars how
long it will take but | won't give up.
whatever he says. III do it if ! sit here
tin Christmas"
That's right. Soapy" said Peter, en-
couragingly Perseverance is the par
cut Of Success.
~ most profound observation, said
the Court Philosopher who came along
at that moment and had overheard Pc
tiers last remark II must make note
Of that" and taking out his notebook ne
wrote: Sir Reginald says Pcrscycr-
ance is the parent Of Sn~cess
but which parent, Sir Reginald /
. like. 10 be- exact ia scientific matters.
This question was rather a poser Tor
| Peter. but he saw an answer was looked
| for. 40 hc boldly replied. Both parents,
! ] guess. And how IL the now bread
knife getting ou?' he inquired. to change
/ the subject.
"Famously." cried the philosopher.
My wife is in raptures over il. Now.
She can suit all hands 10 a dot. Tom
wants his bread cut half an inch thick.
| His mother lays on the rule, puts in the