davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13
COULDN'T SOLVE GAME

A certain local furniture house adver-
tised for delivery man. A youth from
the country made application for the
job and was examined as to his knowl-
edge of horSeflesh and the location of
the different avenues and streets of the
city. On horses the fellow passed with
a remarkably high standing. He knew
all about the care necessary to keep a
nag in the best physical condition and
was familiar with every mode Of treat
ment for the common diseases of the
horse family. AS regarded the city, he
fell down badly. However, he was en-
ployed on trial.
What we want mostly of a delivery
man is to get over the road" explained
the employer. "If we send you some
where with an order you must deliver
1t in a. hurry. Stop for nothing but the
fire carts and the ambulances. But be
sure and look out for these. Never
mind the street cars being in your way
take a long chance on beating them
out"
The new driver worked a week and
everything went along swimmingly. On
Monday of the next week he was sent
out with an order and came back with
a badly wrecked wagon.
Didn't 1 tell you to look out for the
fire carts?" exclaimed the irate en-
ployer as he viewed the wreck in front
of his place of business.
81 did look out" rejoined the driver.
"When 1 heard the fire engines coming
1 pulled to one side of the street and
waited till they had all passed. Then
when 1 got back to the center of the
street I was run into by a lot of
drunken painters, who were riding on
top of load of ladders. Fargo
Forum
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13
1T WAS HIS JOB

one day last winter Representative
Cushman of the state of Washington
was entertaining a constituent at
luncheon. A man passed whim Mr..
Cushman seized by the arm and pre-
sented to his friend.
This is the man." said Cushman,
confdentially, WHO has written more
stupidities than any other living per-
son."
taken back by the remark, which ap-
politeness, that he sat in open-mouthed
silence. The man introduced, however,
took the observation good naturedly,
smiling broadly
Perhaps l should add" continued
Cushman, that the gentleman is one
Of the official stenographers Of the
house. ."-Harpers Weekly.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Speaking of the tidal wave in favor
Of william J. Bryan i'm 1908, the st.
Louis Globe Democrat, an ultra Re-
publican organ. says: He win be the
nominee and will make strong can
vass." IL also adds: The Republicans
will be compelled to put their strongest
man at the head Of their ticket" Huh
Who is he? Roosevelt? The use Of the
word compelled would seem to indi-
cate him. Fairbanks? or maybe Can
non? or perhaps Foraker? Truth is,
the Republican party has no strongest
man. Those Of national stature are
all mediocre and alike as two peas.
For this and other reasons the Repub-
lcans fear Bryan as they never did
before, because the Democracy is going
into the next campaign united, har-
monious and with leader beloved of
the common people, while the opposi-
tion is leaderless inert and torn by
factions.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

states there was no fortune near the
$4,000 900 mark excepting that Of Will
Ham y. Astor. When John Jacob Astor
died in tS4s his fortune was estimated
Al $2OOOo, 600 The next richest man in
tho United states then was Stephen
Girard Of Philadelphia, who was cred
tied with S1O,O00O0O At the present
time the yearly income Of John d.
Rockefeller Is supposed to he at least
$50, 100000.
And what may he expected fifty
years, or even twenty-five years hence.
as the result Of this concentration OF
the worlds wealth IN the hands of a
comparatively few plutocrats? VIII
the present notices Of exclusion from
the domestic possessions Of that class
he superseded by the "edict," as Po-
tentate Collins calls it, to "get off the
earth?"
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13
THE uNPRoeREsslvE BURGLAR

Gen. r. d. Grant in a discussion of
modern armaments, said:
THE guns that served well in the
Civil War would be of little use today.
Arms continually become more deadly.
Every month sees some new invention,
which it behooves each nation to study,
Or"
He smiled.
Or the negligent nation will find
itself in the burglars fix.
Dog tired, burglar slipped into his
fiat at dawn one morning, and flung his
kit of tools under the bed with sign.
What luck, my dear? said the
mans anxious wife.
"'No luck at ALL the burglar growled
in answer. L worked all night on that
safe, and when / got it blowed open it
turned out to be a patent liquor closet,
and empty at that
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13
Smother coose's Melodies

MOTHER HUBBARD AND HER DOG
Old Mother Hubbard,
She went to the cupboard,
To get her poor dog a bone;
But when she got there,
The cupboard was bare,
And so the poor dog got none.
Old Mother Hubbard,
Was very much troubled.
But the dog wagged his tail in glee;
1T might have been tainted,
And then I'd have tainted,
And you'd have had very
sick pup on your hands, and
the sausage mill would soon
have been working overtime;
but now I'm alive ID kicking,
and verv glad of it, tool Seer"
w. H. C.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

The decision of the shriners to meet
in Los Angeles in 1907 is a source of
much qualification to the people of this
city, who would gladly have welcomed
this great order this year had not the
meeting been needlessly and inexcus-
ably Cancelled. Much preparation will
be made for the 1907 gathering and Los
Angeles will give the Shriners the
greatest reception they ever had.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Chairman Jennings OF the California
promotion committee protests against
the movement to have the school chill
dren OF San Francisco write letters
TO school children throughout the
United States describing the earthquake
and asking for contributions to help
rebuild the school structures. And Mr..
Jennings is right Surely there will be
found some better way TO rebuild the
schools OF San Francisco than to re-
hearse the frightful tale Of the disaster
10 that former great city.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Attention of the police department is
again called to the wide-open gambling
IN Chinatown. According to The Her
AIDS information, conditions exist in
that section of the city which require
prompt action by the police. Chief
Auble will no doubt take immediate
steps to enforce the law.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Business men OF Los Angeles have
retitioned the county supervisors for a
hall OF records, wherein may be stored
and safely kept duplicate copies OF all
important documents of tie county.
with maps. plats and other matters Of
similar import. 1t is believed the super
visors will take up the question
promptly and perhaps grant the petit
tion. Some such move for the preserva-
tion OF records is imperatively needed.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

The verdict of guilty of rebating, pro-
nounced in Kansas City yesterday
against the Armour, Swift, Cudahy and
Morris packing companies, seems like
very small fly in the ointment COM
pared with other exposures recently
made. But the big beef trust has evi-
IDENTIFY gone right down the line of un-
lawful conduct and found nowhere tc
stop.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Don't worry about "Princess Alice"
That strenuous cornfeld handshake
that she gives the aristocracy of Eu-
rope will quickly dispel any illusion
they may have as to American mo
bility." The nobility over here is a
different variety. thank you, and there
is no mistaking it. And as for Princess
Alice acquiring the big head
faYncy!
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Councilmen and packers of Los An
geles are to have a conference today
over the enactment Of stricter ordi-
nances for the regulation and inspection
of the meat packing business. 1t must
be said that thus far the attitude of
the local packers has been highly COM
1nendable
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Now It is ST. Louis that is compelled
to face a strike of 5000 unionists in the
building trades. Strikes i'm st. Louis
are of rare occurrence. for that city is
so completely and thoroughly domin-
ated by the unions that it hasn't
enough courage left to refuse anything
that may he demanded. The wonder is
that they allowed the present strike to
occur
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Most public school children will be
glad to learn that the summer vacation
this year will last until September II.
are compelled to exist on atmosphere
and scenery during the long vacation,
but according to the school authorities
it is a condition that cannot be reme-
died at this time.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Senator Flint and Congressman Nc
Lachlan will attend the meeting of the
National League Of Republican Clubs
at Philadelphia for the purpose of se-
curing the convention for Los Angeles
in 1908. They vlll undoubtedly sue
ceed as this city has twice given way
70 other cities and many promises are
out for Los Angeles.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Everybody in Los Angeles wants owl
cars. That's why the service is going
to be inaugurated as soon as the rail-
way officials "can get around to it."
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Pasadena has employed lawyers and
announces herself in readiness to fight
the Edison Electric company. Stand
back. everybody, and give them plenty
of room to scrap.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

The Shriners are coming to Los An
geles in 1907. Collect Collins is
urgently invited to be present and see
what he missed in 1906.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Delaware Republicans switched from
Gas Addicks to Powder Trust Dupont
for United States senator. Which is the
worse?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13


While Elwood Gardner was caring for
a colt In the stable Thursday he reared
and kicked him in the stomach, hurt
ing him so badly that he is not
able to do anything. .-Coldwate (Mich)
Courier.
Many man will return from a sum
mer resort only to find that his change
didn't do him much good But think Of
the benefit 1t is to those who get IL in
tips.
Poppy-Wonder why he said he felt
like an immigrant when 1 accepted
him7
Magnolia-Maybe he realized that he
was just landed.
A Russian doctor says hair is a dis
ease, but bald heads declare it is not
contagious
Flirting with Boston girl one IL
liable to get cold feet.
Pansy-Why are net waists?
Rose-To snare men with, silly!
So much denial is likely to give the
packers lumpy jaw.
Next they'll discover what beer is
made Of, and then the f-eS lunch route
will be doomed.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13
All Patience Gone

Upon my word" said the surprised
barber. II see this razor has lost it's
temper
IT don't blame it," growled the man
in the chair. with all your talking I
lost mine long ago."-Stray Stories.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Los Angeles will be prepared to show
the Shriners in 1907 just what cold feet
Collins really had.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

The empress OF China having issued
an "edict" is now in the Coldfeet Col
Inns class.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13
Population of Los Angeles 23S.4I9

What Los Angeles needs now to en-
force its metropolitan position is owl
cars.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13
CARUSo TELLS LONDON ABOUT SAN FRANCISCO

Great Tenor Earthquake and How He
Escaped From the Ruins
Front he London sketch
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13
Good send-off for Somebody

The correspondent, as well as the
entire town and county, extend the best
wishes and success to this happy
pair. There is not the least doubt in
any mind that they will succeed social
ly as we'll as financially, as each has an
unequivocal sense Of fubiquity.-Wapello
(Iowa) Republican.
Now Gen. Miles arises in his white
cravat to say: IT told you SOL"
Chicago girl succeeded in throwing
baseball 2o4 feet and that's throwing
some when you think Of Chicago feet.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

These are the days when everybc..
who can get to the beach is I'm the
swim"
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13
Case for the s. p. c. A.

The beef Gamers are now likely to be
canned.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

The spiteful woman is called an old
hen because she is always laying for
someone.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13

Clocks In some parlors, where there
are attractive girls, should be taught to
strike %. 1t might help .ate callers to
skiddoo
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13
Pi-LineS and Pick-UpS
Hint fnr = nnt nav

Are you hot and tired and dusty7
Does the heat set on your nerve7
Are you cross and short and crabbed7
Have you lost your usual verve?
Take trolley to the ocean,
Don bathing suit quite brief;
Plunge into the fosming ocean,
There is where you'll find relief.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-06-13
BY FAYETTE

Il WOuld Jast suft Him.
Gerald-I am cast for the part or the
fool In the new play our dramatic society
Is 10 give.
Geraldine Youli make hit All right
The Glenwood post., 1906-03-10

ONE OF THE finest industrial
editions of country newspaper which
has ever found its way to our table
is that recently issued by Brother
Leckenby, proprietor of the Steamboat
Pilot. The special member Of The
Pilot is not overdone in the line of
illustrations, just enough cuts being
distributed over the paper to give the
proper attl activeness to the sheet and
at the same time illustrating the
various features and industries of the
county. Every section of the vast
Empire of Routt has been given men.
tion and after reading the paper
through one is sure to feel favorably in.
clined toward Routt county, Colorado.
1t is just such an issue as was needed
to bring eastern men and money into
this great undeveloped section and the
citizens of Routt showed good bust
ness Judgment by their liberal pat
ronage of Leckenby's venture which
at best will not allow Charley to pur-
chase very many diamonds.
The Glenwood post., 1906-03-10
Notice of Final Settlement

In the matter of the estate of
George Bennett, deceased
Notice is hereby given that on
Monday, the 26th day of March A. D.
1906 being one OF the regular days of
the March term of the County Court
of Garfield County, in the State of
Colorado, 1, Fronie K. Bennett. ad
ministratrix of said estate, will ap-
pear before the judge of said court,
present my final settlement as such
administratrix, pray the approval of
the same and will then apply to be
discharged as such administrative.
AT which time and place any person
in interest may appear and present
objections to the same If any there
be.
Dated at Glenwood Springs, Colo
RADIO, February 81, 1905.
FRONIE K. BENNETT,
Administrative of the Estate of George
Bennett. deceased. 224-3-17
The Glenwood post., 1906-03-10
Desert Land, Final PrOOf.-NOtict
for Publication.

Desert Land, Final PrOOf.-Notice
for Publication.
Department of the Interior. United
States Land Office, Glenwood Springs,
Colorado. Feb. 2, 1905.
Notice is hereby given that
JOHN RENSTROM,
of Gulch, Pitkin Co., Colo, has fled
notice of intention to make proof on
his desert land claim No. 497 Ute, for
the We NEA Sec. 26 and SH SEA
Sec. 90, T. 8 S., R. 80 w. 9th p. M.
before Register and Receiver at
GIenwood Springs. Colo, on Tuesday,
the Goth day of March 1906 at 10
o clock a. IN.
He names the followin witnesses to
prove the complete irrigation and re-
clamation of said land:
Jacob Toncher. of Gulch, Colo.
Louis Lampbriet, of Gulch Cole.
Anton Matson, of Gulch. Colo.
Fred A. Gordon, of Glen wood
Springs, Colo.
J. F. SQUIRE,
2-1O-3-17 Register.
The Glenwood post., 1906-03-10

THE DEFEAT by the senate of the
PHILIPPINE sugar tariff bill will greatly
please. the beet growers Of Colorado
who feared the passage of the measure
would endanger the success Of the in
dustry in this state. While the Post
has never believed the bill would work
the disaster which many professed to
see in it, yet the passage Of the bill
could not possibly accomplish any
good purpose to Colorado. The posi-
tiveness with which the committee
refused to report the bill, indicates
that there is disposition to foster in
every way this growing American in
dustry.
The Glenwood post., 1906-03-10
Ranch for Sale

Good ranch of 18O acres on Divide
creek, 6H miles from New Castle; &c
acres IN cultivation, 70 acres more
that can be cultivated; plenty of
water for irrigation. Orchard of
800 trees of best varieties and quite a
lot of fruit and ornamental stock to
set out this spring. Wagon, harness,
buggy. mower and rake and other
tools go with the place. Also good
team, 10 head hogs, 4 dairy cows, .
heifers. few stands of bees and nice
lot of chickens. Must be sold on &C
count of poor health in family. If
taken soon So, 500 will buy it, al,
though it is worth more money.
A. j. DICKSON
The Glenwood post., 1906-03-10

from pecuniary motives, doubtless have
made claims tor the system which the
father of this latter day propaganda,
Mr. William Il Campbell, does not
sanction.
The writer in connection with his
studies along irrigation lines and
the proper care of the soil, has in
vestigated the Campbell system Of
dry farming to considerable extent
and is thoroughly convinced that it
is valuable system in semi arid
country not subject to irrigation or
in those irrigated sections where the
water rights are not considered suffi-
cient to meet ell demands.
The theory of the syst EN- is to pre-
vent by frequent cultivation of the
top soil, the evaporation of moisture
from the earth. The plan has been
tried with great success in Kansas and
Nebraska where experimental farms
handled under directions of Mr.
Campbell yielded thirty bushels and
more of wheat per acre while adjoin
ing fields yielded but three or four
bushels per acre. or were not harvest
ed at all.
But while there is no question but
that Mr.. Campbell's system carefully
carried out will do much to consel We
the moisture in the ground for the
nourishment of the crops of the hus
bandman, too much should not be ex-
pected of it and in considering the
system it is we'll enough to remem ber
that no system can work miracles and
no system yet devised can conserve
moisture where the moisture does not
exist. Those portions of Kansas and
Colorado in which Campbells model
farms have been established are bless
ed with more rainfall than are many
portions of Colorado and as this mois-
ture comes in the summer season
when most needed it is held in the
ground and utilized to the best advan-
tage instead of being permitted to
evaporate as would be the case under
the ordinary system of tillage.
While we again warn our readers
against expecting too much of the
Campbell system, for it is by no means
a cureall, we believe there are many
mesas in Colorado which by the use
of this system would produce spleu
did crop of winter wheat or rye every
year and other sections poorly lrri
gated where inferior water rights
might be supplemented by the Camp
bell system of soil culture to the great
profit of the husbandman.
The Post is informed that in
eastern Colorado where the rainfall
is little if any more than here and
where the snowfall is always a great
deal less, many unprincipled real
estate agents have disposed of large
tracts of land on the strength Of
the marvellous claims they have
made for the Campbell system of
so called "dry farming" This is to
be regretted for while there is merit
to the system, it should be re-
membered that it will not work
miracles.
The Glenwood post., 1906-03-10
LEGAL
Timber Land, Act June 3, 1873
Notice for Publication

Ai"Oc' Anuus ACt June OS 1910
Notice for Publication
United States Land Office, Glenwood
Springs, Colo Jan. is, 1905.
Notice is hereby given that in com
pliance with the provisions of the act
Of Congress of June 8, 1873. entitled
"An act for the sale of timber lands
in the States of California, Oregon,
Nevada, and Washington Territory,
as extended to all the Public Land
States by act of August 4. 1892,
GEORGE YULE,
of New Castle, County of Garfield,
State of Colorado, has this day filed
in this Office his sworn statement No.
272, for the purchase of the NJ
NWA of Section No. 90 in Town
ship No. 8 s., Range No. 81 W. 9th
P. M, and will offer proof to show
that the land sought is more valuable
foI its timber or stone than for agri-
cultural purposes. and to establish his
claim to said land before the Register
and Receiver of this office at Glen.
wood Springs. Colo, on Monday, the
9th day Of April, 1905, at 10 o'clock
a. m.
He names as witnesses:
H. d. Penny. Of Glenwood Springs,
Colo.
George H. Bell, of Glenwood
Springs, Colo.
John L. Noonan, Of Glenwood
Springs, Colo.
Frank Lake, Of New Castle, Colo.
Any and all persons claiming ad-
versely the above described land are
requested to file their claims in this
Office on or before said 9th day of
April, 1905.
J. F SQUIRE,
1-2O--3-A Register.
The Glenwood post., 1906-03-10
NOTICE

Parties holding Glenwood city
warrants for October, November, and
December 1905. Please call and re-
ceive cash for same Interest ceases
after 80 days from this notice.
FRED G. EWING,
Town Treasurer.
Glenwood Springs. March 8. 1905.
The Glenwood post., 1906-03-10
HAD COLORADO capable stat

HAD COLORADO capable state
accountant whose business it should be
to keep in touch with all public Of.
fees. carefully checking up all re-
ceipts and disbursements of the same
the recent failure of Charley Bricken-
stein, treasurer of Conjeos could not
have we'll occurred. The Brickenstein
shortage of $82, 900 would pay several
years salary for such official and be-
sides preventing absolute failures such
as this would pay the salary almost
every year In the saving Of small
leakages and insure a uniformity in
The Glenwood post., 1906-03-10
Sleeplessness

Disorders of the stomach produce
a nervous condition and often prevent
sleep. Chamberlain Stomach and
Liver Tablets stimulate the diges-
tive organs, restore the system to a
healthy condition and make sleep pos
sible. For sale by all drugg lists.
The Glenwood post., 1906-03-10
DON'T EXPECT TOO MUCH

The advocates of dry farming have
claimed much for their system and as
In the case Of osteopathy and other
modern cults, many enthusiasts who
DO not thoroughly understand the sys-
tom and also many who are actuated
The Glenwood post., 1906-03-10

Denver & Rio Grande mileage
books are sold at rate of $50. 90 per
thousand miles. and are good on the
Denver & Rio Grande, Rio Grande
Western, Uintah, Florence & Cripple
Creek, Rio Grande Southern, Cripple
Creek Short Line, Silverton, and Sante
Fe Central Railways.