davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
NATIVE RELIGION or SIAM

The Rev. w. c. Dodd, who is sta
toned as a missionary in the Laos
country, north of Siam, under the
Presbyterian Foreign Board, has sent
to friends in this country a report of
an Interview he recently had with
Kun Tum, native chief at the head
OF eight villages. Kun Tum talks of
the native religion, and says that his
people do not worship ghosts and
spirits, as do many of the Siamese,
but that they believe in one God,
who inhabits the ethereal expanse.
He is creator of all, including the hu-
man race. According to this religion,
the original man and woman had three
sons. The oldest was ancestor of the
Asiatic people. The second took to
wife monkey and was ancestor of
the white race, Which is consequently
active, energetic ,and cunning, too
much for their other brethren. The
youngest son was ancestor of the
black race.
All the brothers originally wor-
SHIPPED God and had book from him.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
~ ~BOy.s~IDEA.S 0F"cHEETING''

Henry A. Shute has a charac-
terfstic boy story in the October Amer
lean Magazine. Plupy read paper on
"Cheeting." in which the following oc-
ours:
Il guess most everybody cheets
some, sometimes somebody comes to
the house which nobody wants to see
and Aunt Sarah will say, for mersy
sakes Joanna there comes that dredful
woman but when she comes in they
say they are auful glad to see her and
make her take of her things and stop
to super and they put on the best
china and have gelly and hot biskit.
so one day i>asked Aunt Sarah if that
wasent cheeting and Aunt Sarah she
said perhaps it was. but if we didn't
do emmy wirse cheeting than make
people feel pretty good she gessed it
wasent very bad cheeting.
'They is other kinds of cheeting
two. once me and Beany was fitting
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

The pleasant looking young conduc-
tor jumped Off the 1ar with alacrity
and helped the matrpnly woman with
the baby and folding to seat.
The woman thanked6him. with Teffu-
sion. I'm afraid thai carts going to
be in your way" she.yaid.
'Not at all, ma'am, ,streplied the con,
ductor, eying the ealt with some in
terest. *'Them's mikhty handy: he
remarked. *@N
II should say theYA was" said the
woman, adjusting her infants hood
and removing some traces of recent
cooky from its mouth with her hand
kerchief. my land I don't know
how I'd get along without this
I'm family an.myself,'' said the
conductor with someEpride.
"Then you oughtzNo know how a.
woman's tied to baby. Wherever
she goes the baby's got to go to-
"That's what" SAID the conductor,
touching the baby under the chin.
But they're greatIcomfort as we'll
as care. I've raisedssfour of 'em, an
I'd be kind O lost without baby"
II would myself, ,"Isaid the conduc
tor. 1T sounds good to hear 'em a
yellin' out. Seems Alike home, don't
it?'' .zs
you're different @from most of the
men if you like t,,';said the woman.
my husband likes his.children. but he
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

day Secretary Stanton sent to the
Senate for Fessenden to come to his
office at once. On his arrival Stan
ton turned to him and said: *'Fes-
senden, for heavens sake what did
you mean by sending that man Hol-
mes to me? I must tell you Of the
interview. I heard commotion in
the outer Office, and in came this
giant with these words, Where in
HI is this old Stanton?' l turned
and said, I am Secretary Stanton
Well, here is letter from Pitt Fes-
sender. What in HI do you want
of me?' and the n string of oaths
such as I never heard from any one
before. could not stop him, and
could only say, 4 will see Mr.. Fessen-
den,' and now 1 want to know why
you sent him here"
Fessenden's reply was: *You want
ed a man to buy horses, and he is
your man.
Holmes got the job, and continued
as the government agent during the
war, with credit to himself and the
office.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

can't stand for it to hear 'em bawl.
ing"
''This fellow don't talk yet, does
he?" asked the conductor presently.
my land, no! He amt but IA
months old yet. 70, he says some
things, but not real plain, as you may
say, to. talk. His sister, she talked at
IA months, though little CELLS gener-
ally talk sooner'n boys, they say"
Mines little GIRL" said the con-
ductor.
"1've got three boys and a gell,"
said the woman.
''I've sure got to get one O. them
little CARTS" the conductor declared.
Pick 'em up, take 'em anywhere,
can't you? I've seen lots Of 'em, but
never paid no particular attention to
'em before. Put 'em on street car
anywhere"
.'t1t amt so easy as it might be-
said the woman. Cali O. the conduc.
tors amt as clever an accommodate,
in as you are. There's many of 'em
won't never offer to help"
Il know how it is myself, you see
being family man.
''Have you got any?"
"Jest the one, but she's a corker."
"How old is she?'
The conductor pulled out his watch
and consulted it carefully. "Well," he
said, "she's just hours and &c min
utes old right now.'-Chicago News.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

A few weeks ago lady living in
the vicinity of Copley square was ap-
preached by a particular young man
ledger, who said: Mrs, H., If you
could find just the right kind OF a tel
low, one who would appreciate good
home at. a low price, it would be
agreeable to me to have a roommate
so as to: reduce my expenses"
A lady friend suggested that Mrs,
H. make the want known at the Y.
NJ, c. A., where one would be sure OF
getting just the right person. This
was done. and the face Of the young
man at the desk lighted up right away
as he said: Il Isthirk Z have Just the
man for you; a stranger OF. good :ad-
dress has been around here for sew.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

eral days looking for just such 3
place as you represent. Now, you will
find him at (giving the address). Just
say to him that I sent YOU"
Mrs. H. found the place all right
also two young men, each about 25
years of age, in the doorway: To one
of them she. said: II am looking fo1
Mr.. X. at this number" -
<'Tha:-that's my name," was the
reply.
"Well,' continued Mrs. H., *:you1
name was given me by the clerk al
the Y. M. c. A., who said you were
looking for roommate; now, l."
"Ye-ye-yes," broke in the blush
ing young man, "I-I-was; but
want a gentleman. BOSTON Herald
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
THE. .W0VLD-BE FOOTBALL HERO

Oh, the toll he lost and the oil he lost
The" criss- cross runs for tackle and end :
(The intricate runs for tackle and end)
We could not understand. =
His clothes were ripped; to his foolish
:. ;, (Neither as you. nor ~ e.. ~. d.
With, a. :kicked-in face. and adjusted side
- (And sundry cuts both long and ;wide)
So some Of him lived, but the most 'ol
4 him died 4 q J. -. Is. H.
. (Neither as you nor - J.. ~ .*.:t=E (.
But it wasn't the shame and it wasn't
Ss ss That got to the fool at LAST .s,:< III,
It was q coming ITO know y & that he hadn't
3(seeing ct last he could never make
j sz$ That nailed him to the mast 81 7
s Es- lanes Il. SlaVerson.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

A fool: there was and he grew, his hair
Ragged and long like the shaggy bear.
Rut the fool he til ught=Ethat the goods
While the: Wise''* ones were tempted to
cuss and swear :$ ~ - :, H..
.~.(Evens :asSyou and ~ Z. -: -" *s:. II :.
s"oh, the times: they: waste andS the dimes
And the work 81 the barber band
Belong to the pikers who do not know !
He sale, Ito the: 5pikers that never could
ii: 81: And cannot unaerst tand.. Z 81 .}>:: :z !;
u q Even as youSand s8ss q, 81 81
For padded pants his dolla RS went ,9#fs,a@
And q rubber guar for his 2feat lures bent:
~ Till# ia heI fool vas SWeaned rom his last
& :5 .qred cent S %#$ M
Even al II z
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
A Wasted Lecture.

81 talked economy to my wife last
night and she wore her last falls hat
to the theatre. And what do you
think? Every woman on the other
side Of the car grinned when she saw
that hat. Whether it was the hat it.
self or the way my wile wore it,
don't know"
Maybe it was BOTH
every likely. Anyway, she's going
to get a new hat to-day. You can't
preach economy to woman like
that"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Cutting Down the Figure.

Cutting Down the Figure.
1--WE been watching your work." said
the merchant, "and I'd be glad to have
you accept situation with our house" I"
"Well," said the hustler, t'I'll work
for you if you'll give me what I want. :"
*'Oh, that's out of the question, but
I'll give you what you expect
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Her Excuse for Moses,

A teacher in a lower West Side pub
lie school recently received the fol-
lowing letter:
KINDLY exculpate my son Moses
from being one AGGREGATE day absent.
Because his mother sustaining sick,
Moses had to sojourn in the house per-
petual, so kindly apology him for not
coming once day. to school. New
York Sun.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
He Had Tried and Tried.

Kindly Parson-Cheer up, my man
cheer up! If at first you don't sue
ceed, try, try again, you know.
Prisoner (savagely)-Well, I guess
you don't know what brought me
here''
Kindly Parson-No; but the motto
applies just the same-try, try again.
Prisoner-Well, that's what l. done
an here I be-for bigamy.-Judge
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Best Defense at Hand,

Judge-You should have given the
purse that you found to the police at
once.
Prisoner-But it was late in the
evening, your honor.
Judge-Then the next morning.
Prisoner-Yes, your honor, but it
was empty then.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

considering Weighty Matter.
Mr. Happieman with a brave at
tempt at pleasantry)-Why so pen.
slve? Is the honeymoon beginning to
pail on my little bride?
Mrs. Happieman (throwing of the
air OF preoccupation)-- at all, dear.
was merely engaged in trying to
solve the problem: How long will it
take us to save a sum sufficient to en-
able us to live in style in keeping
with our presents?-Tit-Bits.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Fully Explained.

0'1y G~P1a111V0s
Ascum-"How is it your circulation
is so small?''
Editor-"Probably because our sub.
scription rate is so high"
Ascum-"But why do you keep the
rate so high?"
Because so few take the
paper"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
The Strenuous Part.

He claims that saltwater bathing is
more thorough exercise than fresh
water bathing. "
That's because you can usually
bathe in fresh water without q suit.
What's the difference? .:;. ...<,*:.~
Well, the greatest amount of exer'
else is what a man gets wriggllng in
and out of suit three sizes too small
Tor him. ~ n !" yit..s sst"]xs%s
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Modesty.

"Ah, my love-" sighed the ardent
lover, IF you only knew how beaut1-
full you are?"
"You mustn't speak of it," protested
the modest girl. Il don't want to
know"
why nOt?'
Because" she said, "it would make
me too conceited,"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

No, Indeed.
"That's Miss Robinson, who just
left your house, isn't it," asked the
neighbor.
'"That's my Aunt Carrie Robin
son." replied the little girl.
''Your aunt, eh? On your mothers
side?"
mo; she stands up for pa every
time"
Satisfied.
did you read my novel, Criticus?'
"Well, read as far as the chapter
where the hero was shot, and then
I Quit
ooh, but the. hero recovers in the
next chapter
81 was afraid he would. That's why
l quit
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
The Scheme.

policeman Fox is very active in
his efforts to catch the boys who
play ball on his beat,' remarked the
captain.
"Yes," replied the citizen. |<He has
a small boy of his oWn.''
"Ah, does his own boy play ball?"
eyes, with the bats and balls his
father takes from the others.-Phila.
dephia Press.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
A Crash.

A Crash.
"Bragley's down and out financially,
you say. Well, we'll; That's strange" :"
remarked Dumley. why, the last
time l saw him he told me he was
rapidly ascending the ladder OF sue
cess and"
"Yes?" said Wiseman. "Perhaps in
his haste he stepped off the top rung.' -
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Taking No Chances,

Charlie Piker-Did you consult DR..
Cutter about your rheumatism?
Winter :Booke--No.aI got scared out
by the sign on his office door.
Charlie Piker-What was that?
Winter Booklet said 40 to l." and
I'm not going up against any such long
shot.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Shot Out,

'ELook at Bottle-Nose Ben, for in
stance" said the earnest exhorter. 1T
was the Demon Rum that made him
the one-eyed, low-browed sot that he
is to-day"
mot altogether, parson,'' said 'Alkali
Ike. 1T mebbe made him a low
browed sot, but it was my good old
die Standard.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Couldn't Be Sure

Tell me-" began the morbid woman.
III l were to die, would-''
Hush!" protested her lover, shud.
dering.
But l must know" she persisted.
would you follow me to the grave?'
How can I tell?" he replied,
frankly; might not your family de-
eide to have the interment priyate?"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Had a Lucky Escape.

Mrs. Shrewsbury-That man who
just passed us was Mr.. Batcheller. l
haven't seen him since we were mar.
ried. He proposed to me once. You
should have seen the look he gave
you.
~ Mr.: S:S Shrewsbury That so' eloated'
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

Well Stocked.
''They say the Widow Longgreen
can think of nothing but money"
*'Well, she has remarkably we'll
stocked mind"
''Well stocked?''
Eyes, million and quarter in
bank stock at $50 above par
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
he,Cause of II.

why did you leave your last
place?' asked Mrs. Hiram Often.
"Well,' replied the pretty servant
maid. "the last couple I was With
didn't agree
Indeed! Why should their dis
agreements effect you?'
1T was about me. The gentleman
liked me, but she didn't"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
A Relief,

D'Obber-How do you like my pic
ture Of Miss Jingle at the piano?
Jyber-Great! Can't hear the
piano"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

Asking Too Much.
"1'll give you a good meal" said
the housekeeper, IF you'll light the
fire in the range for me-"
'All right, lady," replied Ragson
Tatters.
Here's hatchet. Just chop some
of that wood, and
ooh, see here, lady, I thought it
was a gas range you had. Good-day."
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21
Somewhat Tedious.

Somewhat Tedious.
He-1 see that Prof. Loeb's efforts
to create life have resulted in nothing
more serious that a primordial protop-
lasm that cannot be developed into
manhood in much less than 100000
years.
She-Think Of waiting for mere
man all that time.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1906-04-21

Life's Uncertainty.
Are you engaged?"
BLAMED if I know How can YOU
ever tell till you're married?"
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-05-28

In recent examination In civlcs
IN several universities the average age
of the students was 20.G years.and the
following are some OF the answers
given 20 a. question concerning the
qualifications OF United States sena-
tors.
The predomlnatlng qualifications OF
q United States senator is to be able
10 tell funny stories for publication
aud TO go to church regular. He
should also contain smatterlng Of
law.
They must be 25 years Old and have
committed no crime Of which they have
been convicted.
y senator must be resident Of the
state which chooses him and an up
right citizen. lie must he of sound
mind.
These answers show the necessity 70.
this study. and we hope that the stu
dents who made them Will contlnul
to pursue T. for several years to come,
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-05-28
FOR STUDY
WILL ASK FOR
BASEMENT ROOM.
Ncw Academy OF Medicine l. Seeking
Quarteis---IiOard of Trustees
VIII Meet.

The library board will meet Tues
d-y nigh. in ca,le1 session at the pub
&c library. An application will be
rade-by the newly organized Academy
9i Medicine for the use one night in
he week of one OF the basement
looms at the library. This organiza-
ION IS composed Of professional mon
of the city and is prrely an Informal
seif-educational undertaking.
In many places these study-eiasses
have been instituted having as their
object the mutual advancement of the
members in the study of medicine.
The physicians meet together and dis
cuss the problems and questions which
come up in the practice of medicine.
and by comparing ideas are greatly
benefited. Or. Mccormack, secretary
OF the state board OF health. empha-
sized the value Of these classes in his
address here several weeks ago.
The first meeting will be held on
Tuesday night at s O'Clock in the Of
ice OF DR.. Horace Rivers. the subject
being, NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS." The
organization will have officers. but
there is practically no business con
nected with il, IL being what is pop
ularly called quiz" class.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-05-28
sadJ,, Horse, at the Top.

From farmers Home JournG' of
May 8, we Lote that Col. David Cas-
tleman of Clifton farm. near Louis
vile, has sold the 3-year-old saddle
stallion "The Moor" No. 1907, to
Gen. VIM. Palmer of Colorado Springs
for $500.
Another good sale of Kentucky
saddle horses was made in New York
this week. The consignment was from
Shelby T. HARRISON. of Lexington.
The top price was $3.50 for the
geldlng. Little Acorn. Big Oak
brought $1.o25. The pair, Escort and
Gallant, sold for s1.25O. Ben Greet
brought 500, Tolu 5000 and sena-
tor $500"
Also that "At Durand's New York
Horse show, in the saddle class, Pat
tie Palmer won first. She is by Ches-
ter Dare No. 10. fourth dam by Du-
luth." This saddle blood. in its high
est perfection, is represented in this
section of Kentucky by James Nj.
Lang's horse Rebel Dare No. 1854, by
the great Chester Dare, dam by a
son of Red Squirrel. second dam by
Duluth. Rebel Dare, while the
highest bred horse. is also said to be
the best saddle horse in Jackson's
Purchase.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-05-28

escaped. The government sent all
over the empire a placard with two
photographs of the assassin, his front
view and his profile And three
weeks later a policeman in Western
Siberia telegraph5d:
Have captured both criminals and
am bringing them to Petersburg,
At midnight in Petersburg an in
nocent, peace-abiding professor
stood on a bridge staring down into
the sluggish waters Of the Neya. He
Was thinking of a rival professor
who had new theory about gravl-
tation.
THAT man." said the professor
aloud. rs the dullest idiot in Rus
sia."
Instantly big policeman pounced
upon him out OF the darkness and
without word began dragging him
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-05-28
Herbino.

VIM overcome Indigestion and dys-
pepsia; regulate the bowels and cure
liver and kidney complaints.
1t is the best blood enricher and
1nvigorator in the world. II is purely
vegetable. perfectly harmless, and
should you be a sufferer from disease,
you will use it II you are wise.
r. n. Andrews, editor and Mgr.
Cocoa and Rockledge News, Cocoa,
Fla, writes; | have used your Her
bine'in my family, and find II most
excellent medicine. Its effects upon
myself have been a marked benefit.
Sold by Alvey & List.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-05-28
ON HEALTH BOARD
DIR. SIGHTS HAS DECIDED HE
WILL REMAIN.
appointment to Hospital Board of
Trustees Does Not Affect Present
Position.

Or. II. p. Sights has been advised
that Il Is not necessary TO resign his
Office in the board OF health TO become
member Of the hospital board, an
Office to which he was elected last
week. lie IS now a full nedged mem
Der oil Riverside hospital board. The
two Offices pay no salary and IA h no,
necessary to qualify and give bond In
the hospital office. He viii meat with
the board at the next regular meeting.
Dr. Sights succeeded Dr.. J. d. Robert
son on this board.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-05-28
FIREMAN INJURED
WITH BLOW OF AK
Captain Elicit Wounds Capt,
Jack Slaughter
Former Was Chopping Hole In
illinding smoke and Did
Not See.
SEVERE SCALP CUT RESULT

Capt. Jack Slaughter, of fire COM
pany No. 3. Tenth and Clay streets,
was seriously injured last night while
fighting the Flournoy street fire. He
was struck in the head by Capt Jake
Elliott, OF company 4, with an AK
The injury was purely accidental,an
but for close quarters the affair
might have resulted In Slaughter's
death.
The captains We're working on the
west side Of the Allen house. The
smoke was thick and Elliott had an
AK chopping into the floor on the out
side to make a place to run the hose
Slaughter was at the time STOPPING
down peering under the house look
Ing for fallen fire brands to locate a
hole In the hoor.
Elliott was In close quarters and
could not see for the smoke He
made stroke with his ak and struck
something soft. There was warning
cry ard slaughter's form rolled out
TO view.
Captain Slaughter had been struck
in the head and was slightly stunned
by the blow. He was taken TO a near
by house and later to the fire sta
tlon. where City Physician Bass adj
minlsterod TO the injured fireman.
The wound was long and pene-
trated TO the skull. The skull was not
fractured however. Capt. Slaughter
was able TO remain at the FIRE station
and IS better this morning. but siill
suffering from the effects Of the blow.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-05-28
Royal wedding Thursday.

Spain viii be given a new queen
Thursday. when Princess Ena OF
Battenburg. niece OF King Edward.
will be married 20 King Alfonso
Nil. The ceremony viii take place
in old church Of san Jereimo. Ma
drld. and the state ceremonies and
popular fete will last until June s.
The program for the week includes a
banquet Friday and flower battle
and gala al the opera house satur-
day. Representatives Of many foreign
governments will be present.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-05-28
Exposure.

To cold draughts OF air, to keen
and cutting winds. sudden changes
OF the temperature. sosnty clothing,
undue exposure Of the throat and
neck after p1bllc speaking and sing
Ing. bring on coughs and colds.
Billiards. Horehound Syrup is the
best cgre. Mrs. A. Barr, Houston.
Tex. writes. January 81, 1909: zone
bottle of Billiards. Horehound Syrup
cured me OF very bad cough. l: is
very pleasant to take.
Sold by Alvey & List.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-05-28
Peculiar Hobbies.

Fads and hobbies are synonymous
terms. They must be defined as
something to interest one George
Gould has become one of the most
rabid polo "fends" in all Chrlsten-
dom. After dealing in 100000
shares of Lackawana. Deason White
used to rush home. over the wall
street terry, 10 study the stars
through giant telescope George
Hardy left his business every after
noon in violent haste TO go home and
examine bugs through $3.50 micro
scope.