The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-28
Panama NIGHT.
Famous GridirOn Club Cele-
brates It's Dist Anniversary.
Roosevelt and Mark Twain Were
Among the Victims.
TIE FUN COMMENCED
As Soon as the President Enter
ed the Room.
Members Shouted sAll Aboard
for Panama 3" and Song Began.

Washington, Jan. 27.=President|
Roosevelt and 200 distinguished guests
cabinet members, senator's, mem
bers of congress and prominent men
from professional life all over the
country--joined with the Gridirou club
tonight i'm the celebration of its 21st,
anniversary.
The program was one of the most
elaborate, ever carried out. The theme
was from beginning to end. Panama"
The accessories We're magnificent The
songs, all of q topical nature, were
very clever. There was one for the
president and another one for Mark
Twain. The latter gave as good as he
received. as did Ambassador Jusserand
or France Secretary of War Taft, Sec
rotary Of State Root and others.
Ihe souvenirs were a pass on the
-CIridiron way from washington to
Panama. on an airship, a small shovel
and a guide to Washington" which
was a goodlY book containing the
menu and maps and pictures of build
1nEs and persons and customs at the
national capital. Within its covers
dubbed the best hits of the evening.
The FUN began the moment the pres
8dent stepped from the elevator at the
New willard All aboard for Pan
anna" shouted a member with a voice
like fog horn. The guests stepped
hack and the music committee, dressed
1n overalls and carrying picks, show
els and other necessary paraphernalia,
swung into the room to the air of
when Johnny Comes Marching
Home" A topical song having for its
victims the president, the canal COM
Inissioners and Governor General Ma
COON, was sung with chorus that
went like this:
The song
We're going to dig the big canal.
aurra'l, 'hurral.
We're. going to dig the big canal
IN Panama we work tonight.
Wen 90 some digging before it's light
And tnereu be no more sheuangan when
The dirt begins to fly.
A squad from the Marine band head
ed a procession with the pick and shovel
men behind President Roosevelt came
next, then the president of. the club and
the guests. The club members brought
up the rear.
They marched into a tropical Jungle
fkilfuHy constructed Winding in and
out between dense masses of palms and
other tropical plants, the guests and
crab Joined the band in the familiar
tune
From the jungle the procession
marched into the dining room where
they found the Plaza Of Santa Ana at
Panama The tables were set in the
FORM of a gridiron. At one side there
was band stand Royal palms
there i'm abundance Moses and vines
hung from the ceiling and festooned the
walls. This was the background for
an The skits and acts Of the evening.
Feature of the Evening.
The feature of the evening was the
canal digging act. Somebody. proposed
that the club dig the canal because no
one else seemed able to do so. The pres
ident insisted upon q, canal commission
While they were bothering their heads
over where to get one a cablegram was
received announcing that the commits
sion at Washington had been kidnapped,
placed on a transport and forced to
go to Panama at once.
Pretty soon a policeman brought the
commissioners in. They were protest
ing loudly against the outrage of hav-
ing to be there when it was so much
more comfortable in Washington, They
were brutaily ordered to go to work.
Then came their organization with a
long discussion about salaries. One
wanted small salaries and large per
quiaites. Another fought for large
salaries and small perquisites.
When the question Of labor came up
there was a demand for q Chinese valet
q chauffeur, q physical instructor and
a manicure.
After much horse play it was decided
10 set corps Of engineers. Four ex-
perts were brought in. They were all
chiefs. One was q chief engineer. an
a
amusement provider and the fourth a
chief sanitary officer. They were COW
cred with medals.
The Canal Expert.
The canal expert was the hit of the
evening. He qualified as an expert, be-
cause he always stuck to theories and
had no use for facts.
The whole thing was settled finally
BY the entrance of a club member who
declared he would dig the canal him
self, He was dressed IN a blue shirt
and overalls and carried pick He
told how he would do it in a parody on
SDriu g Terriers, Drill, " with vo-
ciferous accompaniment that brought
every guest standing up AS he sang
the last chorus, the room was darkened
and the completed gridfron canal. fine
concreted affair, was thrown on the
canvas battleship was shown COM
ing through, towed by a couple of
mules driven by President Roosevelt
bent with age and wearing a long gray
beard
A series of short skits led up to this
culmination club member came in
and made bonfire of a lot Of stage
money. He said he was giving an irnf-
tation of the canal commission. An
other came and threw red tape over the
guests. He said nc was supplying them
with the thing most used in digging the
canal.
A member dashed in. pranced
around the plaza, took a snap shot of
angry when stopped. He said ha was
Poultney BigelOw with a 90, GEO word
roast to write and only 1 o minutes to
get the Information.
Another member came in with type
writer's TO sell. He said ne understood
they were the principal implements de-
manded-
The way they gave it TO Mark Twain
was to the air. why Don't You Try?''
and DC went this way.
Where Mark Twain Got II.
Mark Twain once told us there were
only seven jokes on earth.
What a shame.
who's to blame2
The rest are variations on the old themes
OF mirth
All the same
Rather tame.
pve read his books all over with a