The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-11-10

when get rich." said the Travel
ing Man to the Man About Town. I'm
going to have lot Of very peculiar
sort Of fun. I'm going around doing
thtngs--righteous. decent things-that
I've always been afraid to attempt for
fear should fall through lack of
funds.
Among the first movements shall
instigate will be to violate just about
every rule printed in the railroad mile
age books. I'm going to present a
mileage book on the train in my ter
ritory where I should have exchanged
1t fer ticket at the ticket window
before starting. I'm going to let them
put me OF If they want to. and then
I'll bring suit. I'm going to present
mileage book in the territory where
conductors do tear off the strip and
refuse to sign it. Then the company
will perhaps refuse to pay my rebate
on the book cover. and again I'll
bring suit. I'll trade books with some
ether fellow and have the passenger
association or mileage bureau refuse
to pay the rebate, and then therell
be another suit filed. And I'll win ev-
cry suit so far mentioned II the court
is inccryupt-and there are incorrupt
courts in this country, am fully con-
WINGED.
But one of the things I am going
to do that will enjoy the most will
be to take bodily away from the COM
panies that 'first-class passage their
tickets guarantee and that the COM
panies have no intention Of providing.
For instance: You buy from the COM
pany's representatives, ticket agent
here in Grand Forks, a ticket read
ing good for one first-class passage
to Chicago The train carries coaches.
So you go and get into one. When you
reach Minneapolis or some other point
you are showed into regular cattle
car loaded with smellful peasantry
that carry gray canvas telescopes fill
ed with embalmed food-peasantry
that have not known the cleansing
influence of bath for numerous
moons. The toilet arrangements in
such cars are vile beyond the imagina-
ton of the most avid muck raker, and
the whole car reeks with filth-'a first
class passage indeed! Save the
mark.
In the meantime you wish to wash
your hands and face. You find sta
tionery washbowl, but neither towel,
soap nor water. "A first-class pas
sage!' You read your ticket again to
see that you are not mistaken. No,
YOU are not. You examine the other
coach or two on the train, and find
find precisely the same lack of accom-
"Ycu see that term in the ticket is
entirely misleading. The payment OF
the price of your first-class ticket does
not give you a, flrst-ciass passage. It
merely gains you the privilege Of pur-
chasing from the Pullman company
the real requisites of a first-class
passage. Now when my ship comes
in I'm going to buy one Of those first
class passage tickets and go into the
Pullman to wash my hands. shall
be elected from the Pullman, no doubt,
and then will come the suit l ache
for.
''Of course, one would not expect a
berth to be thrown in with a ticket,
but decent toilet accessories ought GER
tainly to be provided for those whose
cleanliness is out Of proportion to the
amount Of money they have fr buying
berths and paying tips in sleeping
cars"
"A fortune awaits the man who in
vents odorless shoe backing declared
Bill Battle to the Man About Town.
"Well-pohshei shoes make their pres
ence known, and leave trail Of black
ing perfume behind them in parlor,
hall and dining-room. One pair of
newly BACKED shoes is sufficient to
scent up an entire room. and In a
crowd it Is the odor of shoe backing
which arises above that Of all others.
At the 'theater the sachet-perfumed
garments of the women are smothered
by the shoe backing scent, and violet,
lily Of the valley. carnation, white rose,
all go down before the shoe polish. !:
BE man ever SO shy. modest and !
unobstrusive, his presence will be felt
In a roomful of company II he happens
to be the only man in the room who
has had his shoes freshly shined. He
gets conscious of his feet and knows
that every one is certain he has just
come from the bootblack. He knows
that those shoes will keep on smelling
for "a hours, and wishes fervently that
he was wearing boots Of rusty black-
anything but those with that shining,
odoriferous polish!
III someone does arise to invent
odorless backing he may go step
further and manufacture perfumed
backing, and the bootblack will ask.
Violet, white rose, carnation or musk?'
before he begins work on the custom
er's Shoes"