Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1906-09-19
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baseball?' Both, ma'am."
why did you have the sun-dlal
moved, Amy?" II wanted 1t where the
moonlight would shine on 1t, so we
could tell the time Of night."-Llfe.
Knlcker-Strange they didn't name
the baby after its rich uncle. Booker
No; he looked at 1t, and said he'd
give them $4,000 not to.-Harper's Ba.
Ear.
Stella-Professor LIE says candy Is
a cure for fatigue. Bella-That's true:
man who brings me chocolate never
makes me as tired as man who
doesn't.
Mistress (sollloquizlng)-I'm afraid
this hats rather out Of date. Maid
Oh. no, mum. It's quite fashionable.
Cook has just bought one exactly like
it.-Punch.
Lawyer-My wife bought this rug
In my office at an auction sale. Client
She paid big price for 1t, too. Law
yer-How do you know? Client sold
- ~ hSl."1JellOlI y rec IrGSS.
A Georgia man lost leg in an accl-
dent, and when they picked him up the
first word he said was: THANK the
Lord, 1t was the leg with the rheuma-
tism in lt!"-Atlanta Constitution.
New Bookkeeper Ito employer)-
How shall enter up the five thousand
dollars that your old bookkeeper ran
away wlth-protit and loss? Employer
No, charge 1t to running expenses.
New Dentist Tin Frozen Dog)-wlll
you take gas? Bronco Bill-Will 1t
hurt If don't2 Dentist-It will.
Broncho Bill-Then. stranger, for your
sake think I'd better take lt.-Life.
Lady vlsitor-That new girl of yours
seems very nice and quiet. Mistress of
the House-Yes, she's very quiet. She
doesn't even disturb the dust when
she's cleaning the room.-Eyerybody's
Journal.
As small Tommy was about to climb
into his chair at the dinner table his
mother said: "Are your hands clean,
dear?" "'Course they are," answered
Tommy. 'If you don't believe it, look
at the towel"
Where are we going to take lunch?"
she asked her husband. while out In his
touring car. 20, wherever we happen
to STOP" he replied. Goodness! You're
not going to eat as often as that, are
rn,, vn,,l,ar, Ctofo~,,or
Mr.. City Boarder was being enter
tanned by his rural sweetheart. do
you play and sing When the Cows Are
in the Corn Miss Mllyweigh?" Lord
bless you, moi" she calculated. 81 get
the dogs and chase 'em out !'-Harpers
Weekly.
Balty Moore-The meanest man has
been again discovered. Calvert, Jr.-
Where this time? Balty Moore-In
Ohio, as usual. This chap is making
money by selling the weather predic.
lions furnished by his fathers rheuma-
tism.-Baltimore American.
A physician started model insane
asylum with special ward for crazy
chauffeurs and motorists But don't
see any patients" said visitor to
whom the automobile ward was shown.
oh" the physician replied, they're
all under the cots fixing the STATS
Clipping.
"I'll take that" said the man, indi-
eating sllver-mounted handglass, land
I want you to engrave on it, From J.
u. B. to Phyllis" Every WE'LL" replied
the salesman, well put is on the back
here -" "Oh, no; put 1t around the
edge on the front. l want her to see
Philadelphia Ledger.
Mamma asked the little girl, "has
Mr.. Brown got heart diseased" 81
don't know, my child. Why do you
ask?' "Well, it says in my new book
that faint heart never won fair lady,
and when saw Mrs. Brown made up
my mind that something must be wrong
with his Toledo Blade.
II unde 4tand," began Mrs. Galley.
sternly, shat you have been seen at
the theater with my husband"
-"well," interrupted the pretty govern
ess, deflantly, what of that?" "well,
Miss Reeder, If you wish to remain In
my employ you'll have to keep better
company.'-Philadelphia Press.