The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1906-03-02
ting ready TO follow Mr.. Bowser.
caught tie next car behind him

him. He didn't seem 10 be In any
hurry either. He sat around like a boy
with the toothache. and once or twice
be seemed to lie on the point Of going
home A policeman finally sauntered
up and said:
These benches are for the use Of
skaters"
We'll, amt I a skater:' replied Mr..
Bowser.
You don't look like il to me. You
look more ike a man who'd roll around.
However. il you are a skater get busy"
The conversation was overheard by
| half a dozen people. and. being put on
his mettle. Mr.. Bewser began TO fasten
on his skates. He had had them on
for five minutes. looking distrustfully
at tie ice all the time. when the police
mar came along again and said:
What. Loafing around yet? II you
can't skate you'd better give that rig TO
some cross eyed orphan boy. Shall l
get a t~en-year-old girl TO take your arm
and tell you which foot goes frst?"
He Is Guyed.
you can mind your own business,
sir" replied Mr.. Bowser as be got the
boiled lobster color in his face.
Don't sass me-"
and don't you be guying me"
The officer walked on, and a score Of
| skaters gathered around Mr.. Bowser
and INDUCED in such remarks as:
"11l bet he'll show us a few tricks
| when he does get started"
"Ill bet SO too. He's got the right sort
Of legs for a skater"
What are you guys talking about?
| Can a cider bar'l skate?"
eff he's going to smash the ice I'm
| going home to play with my rag dolly"
i said a girl of sixteen.
Mr.. Bowser had to get a move on
him. l could read his thoughts as plain
as print. He was saying to himself
that he'd give a thousand dollars if he
was safe home with me and the cat. 1t
| was too late for that. He got up and
wabb!ed around and finally reached the
ice and grabbed hold Of a bush to
F! steady himself. He was standing there,
with his eyes as big as saucers and his
chin Quivering. when there were some
more remarks. They were to the fol-
lowing effect:
Some one get him a pair Of
crutches!"
"If you can't skate get down and roll
over!!'
! by George. he thinks be sees q
ghost.!'
Hang to the limb, old coon! If you
you are n gOner!'
"Oh, shut up, and give the old gent a
show! He'll start off pretty quick and
make us all look silly"
Then the girl who had spoken before
Clipped in with:
MY ma told me that if the baby ele-
plant broke loose and got Oh the ice !
was to come right home and study my
spelling lesson
His Usual Finish.
Poor Mr.. Bowser had to draw a long
breath, commend his sou to a higher
power and get a hump on him. He
hadn't scrambled along over ten feet
when n of his legs went up in the
air, he spun around two or three times
and then came down with a jar that
Don Castro would have paid a thou.
sand dollars for to present to the
French cable company. Ny shrek
was echoed by fifty others, and the po-
licenan came running up and grabbed
the poor victim by the collar and drew
him TO land and said:
IFS the same old coon that was sit
ting around here ten minutes ago
told him then that he was NO skater"
rs he deadY' asked one of the
crowd.
mo. but he's got a lesson. That
jar has sort of driven him together
and he won't be more than five feet
high after this. Does any n here
know him?"
Il. went forward and gave his iden'
tity and address, and the ambulance
vas summoned, and he was conveyed
home. They told me he was very
quiet on the trip. AS he was carried
into the house he simply sighed. As
l got out plasters and liniments and
cared for him be looked at me in a
puzzled way and muttered something
about pigeon wings. / have had the
doctor for him, but the NJ. D. says that
no bones are actually broken. 1t is a
case of telescope. The victim is still
lying in a lethargic state, opening his
eyes and looking around now and then,
and 1t will probably be another week
before he can shout Woman" at me
and announce that l can go home to
mother while be is arranging about the
1 divorce Afn0nubf;a oil raparfc nf hio
untimely demise may be contradicted
| by the press. SARAH BOWSER,
Wife of Mr.. Bowser.
Per NJ. Quad.