Arizona republican., 1906-09-18
TOPICS OF THE DAY.


 When it's a good thing it can't be stopped. even if you push a stone wall in front of it." remarked the editor of the Phenix Skidoo. 'sIn this case I am referring to the spelling reform move ment, and the various things touching on and appertaining thereto When Carnegie and this Matthews man in New York began to talk about ironing out the language and sticking new pegs into it at unexpected spots never paid much attention to it. ain't fussy about spelling anyway, and never was. but when the president issued his man ifesto and ultimatum, with Furious Unum and a screen across the top and his own strenuous cognomen reaching clear across the bottom I began to sit up and take notice and I guess about everybody else did the same. judging by the numerous remarks I've read in print the last few days.
 Strikes me Theodore has the right idea, although it's what you might call secondhand one, but it looks as if he'd gone too far at the first jump, con- sidering the power of his mighty posi- ton and the influence of his eagle eye. The heft of public opinion seems to sort of lean that way. Of course, it's all right to make it thru and tho and all that; those spellings are according to me and Ebert Hubbard and other molders of thought and they are easy and convenient. But I don't want to be 'kist,' even by a bOny Skitch lasi. as the braw. bewhiskered Laird of Skibo would say. In the past tense of any of my osculatiOn I insist on having an- other s and an ed and there are lots of others who think the way do.
 But as I said, now that Teddy has given the thing a shove, or, as he would prefer to spell it, a 'shuv' you couldn't stop it with a stone wall Now, notice. the department stores in. Prov idence have taken up the go-as-you- please spelling in their advertising. The effect is queer. One advertisement of fered an opportunity not to be mist which was prominsing. anyway. for I have known of advertised opportunities that have turned out to be nothing but mist, or fog, or almost anything that is intangible and damp. Then there was furniture offered in ethes oak or mahogany The advertisement did not state whether or not any other anes- thetic was used on oak and mahogany. nor why ether should be considered preferable to chloroform. Tn the ad- vertisement of another store there was the announcement of an 'assinee sale.' Perhaps the meaning was clear. but to me there was the suggestion that it might be new way of spelling 'asinine sale It's all right to reform the En- glish language. but while they are ubout it they ought to make over the whole dictionary. It seems to me that between Oyster Bay and the depart ment stores the job is going to get had ly muddled
 Now comes Doctor Rurick Roark with a load of foolish squawk. all about the fearsOme kiss held by some to be a bliss; says that microbes travel thus. dealing death in every buss. He would offer public sure, which he guarantees is sure telling every Ann Eliza first to use her atomizer. spraying throat and tongue and lips with carbolic acid drips, when she starts to osculate. so she won't innoculate herself with bacilli and germs. So in these alarming terms Doctor Rurick shows the danger (not expected from a stranger) of the an cient honored kiss given by a dainty miss.
 Kissing's getting to be queer. Tother day our Teddy dear said that no one ever kissed" but hereafter must be ''l1ist" Now this Doctor Rurick claims that in all the kissing games old-style bussing should be ostracized all the players must be sterilized, lips com pletely atomized, thoroughly sprayed and carbolized. Oh. fudge and thun- deration Where lives the man with soul so rare or where's the girl who'd ever care for antiseptic osculation?