Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1906-11-30
BACK TO NATURE.
The Transmogrifoation OF Sidney Arml-
taee, Bachelor.

The Transmosrihoation OF Sidney Armi-
taee, Bachelor.
First of all Sidney Armitage was a
bachelor Having passed the 35-year
milestone, he considered himself immune,
and his friends considered that his was
hopeless case. Armitage was the Office
man in the three cornered stock broker
age firm OF Clark, Dennis & Armitage.
His partners agreed that. in his way, he
was a wonder and his way was that OF
the born statistician, who not only had a
head for mathematics. but also an indi-
viduality that appealed to other men. He
could analyze n railroad statement or Il
corporation report, as easily as some men
scan a newspaper. To be called upon TO
devise a system of brokerage accounts
pleased him nightly. At any and all
times he could tell his delighted partners:
Our capital is so much, the stocks we
are carrying have market value of so
much, our margins amount to so much.
our cash on hand is so much our loans
aggregate thus-and-so, and there you
are"
Just as long as Armitage was about. the
affairs of the Office progressed smoothly;
let him get sick for a week and every
lnlIS went wrong. now Arnltage
worked too hard. Often ne worked in the
office late at night. and. what is more
enjoyed It, He even worked on Sundays.
1t is possible that he regretted that there
were not eight days in the week. Some
Of the FIRMS clerks said so at any rate.
The time came, however. when Armi
tage, like a good many others. broke down
under the strain of too much mental
effort and too little physical culture Sew
eral doctors looked him over in a Brook
lyn sapitarium, and agreed that he was in
bad shape-nerves and heart in a pre-
carious condition. why" said Clark to
Dennis "Armitage Is a wreck. I stopped
at the hospital on the way down this
morning, and DIR. Bancroft says that II
will take him a year at least to get back
enough strength to resume business"
Trouble with Sid is" replied Dennis
that he isn't married. What he needs is
a clever wife who would teach him how to
take care OF himself and enjoy himself
He has money enough and brains enough
and good looks enough to make things
mighty pleasant for a nice girl. What he
needs is a good home, like yours or mine"
Right ypu are" agreed Clark but
you can't teach an old dog new tricks"
What are we going 10 do? We will
have to manage without him, but getting
him into the country will be the thing.
He will have TO have work of some kind
or he will go crazy"
IF it's a simple question Of back to
nature why, he will get work enough.
Interest him in golf and chickens and you
have the cure"
1t required a fortnight OF coaxing, scold-
ing and enthusiastic persuasion before
Armitage could be convinced that a course
OF country life was an essential in any
plan than meant restoration to health.
Then to the surprise and joy of his part
ners, as If realizing the seriousness of his
condition, he plunged with his usual en-
thusiasm into a theoretical study OF golf
and poultry, especially the latter. The
literature relating to the comparative re-
suits Of incubators, the relative profits in
eggs, and broilers and roasters, the most
approved methods Of ranching on a large
scale, became as familiar to him as the
prices of ST. Paul and Union Pacific, and
he went so far as to dip into the printed
possibilities in the cultivation Of squads
and ducks But he made no effort to leave
Brooklyn for the country until Dennis in
sisted on his renting the Bailey Bungalow,
| a 50-acre place in Far Hills, Conn. Then
Dennis packed up and started of with
Armitage and the latter's two Japanese
servants in tow.
Now look here, Sidney" said Dennis
the night before his return to New York,
You will have TO stay here a year at
least. Every day you will get letter
from the office. One Of us will be up TO
see you for the week end each fortnight.
But you've got to do your part The thing
for you to do IS TO join the country club
and play golf, preferably with a pretty
! girl There's a dozen Of them over there.
Then you want to send down to the Jones
Incubator company and have them rec
ommend a capable poultryman, and have
him install all the appliances needful on a
chicken ranch. The owner will let you
make any improvements TO the place that
you like-they will belong to him. But II
you get your health back 1t will be a
cheap investment for you. AS for that
weak lung, don't worry too much about
it. A farmer up here told me that you
live longer with Connecticut consumption
than you do without IL, and. by love, /
believe him. II you can't sell the product
OF your ranch. send what you like down to
us What we don't eat we will give
away"
Once in the invigorating hill climate.
beyond the line penetrated by the strong,
damp sea air, Armitage tried with gem
uine earnestness to make progress. He
engaged a superintendent for his chicken
farm, and made extensive purchases OF
incubators and fancy stock. He bought
the very best" incubators in the market,