davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19
REFLECTION OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 A man can make more of a success in the world looking pompous than he can having brains.
 The nice thing obout flirting to a girl is she never knows when she is going to mean it.
 There are mighty few women who wouldn't rather have slim ankles than good husband.
 You can tell when woman isn't inter- ested in what you are saving to her by the way she pretends she is.
 More interesting men would go into the ministry if they didn't have to, preach sermons and setsgood examples
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19
JUDGE 6RoYLE's WIT.

From the Anniston Star.
 Hedge Briles'' of the Atlanta police court is conducting an anti-spitting re- yival in that city. His daily sermon to sinners is, If you expect to rate as gentleman, don't expectorate on the side walk
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19
THE JAG RECORD.

From the Baltimore Herald.
 Facts of considerable interest to scien- lists appear In a divorce bill filed the other day in the city of Buffalo. The plaintiff, woman with a statistical turn of mind, says that her husband has been intoxicated, during the last eight and d half years, exactly 1903 times. Since their wedding day, she says, she has kept tab on him, with the following result:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19
cREpITAsLE EDITION.

The industrial edition of the Peoples Ledger, at Enterprise. has been received. This edition is highly creditable and shows Enterprise to be Q hustling town. Carlisle and Singleton are editors and proprietors, of the paper.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19
eoRkYs BREAK.

From the Charleston Post.
 The pink tea socialists in this country have been rudely shocked by Maxim Gorky's family dispositions
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19
GETTING TIRESOME.

From the Montgomery Advertiser
 Again we are confronted with the head line, "Prosecutions of Chicago Packers to be Pushed. . That sort of reading is ap- preaching what Fallstaff calls 'damnable itern tion'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19
A CHANGE IN STORE.

f-iioW "httiief It Was written With a pen ell or a typewriter.
 A CHANGE IN STORE. The summer time is coming. Maudie dear. have wireless message from the
 breeze.
 We'll look for something cooling, Maudie
 dear.
 Where once we poked the fire and did
 the sneeze.
 Life would be more pleasant if we would quit running down the neighbors and run ming up bills.
 Gertrude Atherton says that Edith Wharton is not the greatest woman nov elist in the United States. If the expres- sion may be permitted, Mrs. Atherton lands upon Mrs. Wharton conelusively, like ton of bricks. According to Mrs, Atherton, the popularity of Mrs Wharton Is due to booming" and the snobbish attitude of certain critics who praise her because she is a society," novelist Mrs. Wharton is a blunderer. an amateur and Q what-not. Apparently, she marks the limit of embryonic literary bungling. Mrs. Atherton continues at some length, but this will be sufficient to show that her rating of Mrs. Wharton resembles Montgomerys percentage in the Southern league.
 THE BAREFOOT DAYS. Come back, the happy barefoot days The days we used to know When birds were singing in the trees And buds began to blow. When first we laid aside our shoes
 To wade a sunny brook, Or. soon forgot upon the hills
 The call of slate and book The man with the hoe has been eelipsed by the man with the muck rake. Congressman Blackburn is a handsome man, but he needs a coat of whitewash now. A woman can get more fun out of go- ing to wedding than a man can out of prize fight
 FISHING.
 You may sit all day
 And drink your fill.
 If the fish won't bite
 The redbugs' will Once there was man who thought he was great but he went to another town one day and had to introduce himself to everybody.
 The trouble with a great many lawyers is that they practice at bar where they don't have to stand an examination to be admitted. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

sidewalks and ordinances providing for still greater extensions nave been adopt ed by the councils of both cities.
 "The officials of both places will very likely provide for the paving of principal business streets in a short time, and the improvements will greatly improve the appearance and importance of both places.n
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

box and tried quietly to drop This con- trbution into the box. It fell outside, however, and proved to be a nickel. He was going into the 50-cent seats, and was made the butt of much good-natured gibing. Boys were allowed to go into tho grandstand without contributing cent while in many instances parties of two or three and four would be admitted for one contribution.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Governor Folks voice rises above all others in denouncing graft. Maybe he is trying to make himself heard in Washington.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Politics is warming up in Alabama and the summer canvass may furnish all needful heat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

"The action of the Springfield mob, :" says Gov Folk, was dastardly. cruel, inhuman and cowardly" That just about covers the ground
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Dowie thought at one time of set ting up a vesuyius on the outskirts of Zion City, but prudence led him to change his mind
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

In handling muck nothing ever de- vised is better than a muck rake, and the country is full of muck, especial ly the campaign committees.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

It is conceded that the American hen did her Easter duty with satisfae- tion and dispatch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Vulcan would no doubt welcome a museum life now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Vulcan may prove useful next sum- mer in soaring away the anopheles or malaria mosquitoes. We need some thing of the kind in every block.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

There was much lost heat at Vesu vus, and yet no mechanical engineer stepped in to utilize it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Pitcher Hickman begins to feel that he is a peon, bound to Master Tebeau, who is well-nfght heartless.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

A Pennsylvania man starved forty days for indigestion and thinks he has whipped the disease.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Birmingham does not have woman suffrage, but it has plenty of woman influence, and it always works for the eity's good.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

The Senate does no, business on days when one of it's members comes in loaded with rate bill speech.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Witte has succeeded in financing the Czar. and he has in that way got the upper hand of the reactionaries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Commissioner Bingham has tanned down to "dog- gone" which is lady like oath.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Alcohol feels lonely on the road to the free list, for it has no companions on the way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

The Raines hotels in New York have been abolished but not the vari- ous Astorias. This Is class discrimina- ton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

You never did see moving picture show of how the Panama canal is be- ing dug.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Despite David Graham Phillips, Sen ator German is an able man and the country will rejoice at his recovery.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

The Chicago undertakers are adver. Using cut rates in burials. Nearly any body can afford to die in that city.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

The year 1906 has made an ominous start with disasters.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

The dry dock Dewey is an attraction to storms, but it continues to wal low on.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

The international usurers drove d hard bargain with Russia That coun- try gets but S5 cents out of a dollar.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Russia has succeeded in raising $450O00, ,000, which is pretty good raise.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Recent elections have brought about a radical change in the gubernatorial situation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Chicago becomes indignant when any one says 1t bristles.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Ii it wasn't for graft the expose ar lists would starve to death.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Our biggest battleship is to be named after the smallest state, Delaware.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

A lot of diplomats are still trying to explain why Castro resigned
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Our exports outrun our imports just about million dollars day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Now that Vesuvius has subsided Dowie should also.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Just to look at this stun. vou wonlan,t Know whether it was written with pen ell or a typewriter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, post office as second-class matter under act of Congress March 3. 1873.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Life would be more pleasant if we would quit running down the neighbors and run ming up bills.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Daily and Sunday Age-Heraid. d.........SS.oo Daily and Sunday, per month....,..... " Sunday Age-Herald, per annum... zoo Weekly Age Herald per annufn....... l.oV
 Subscription payable in advance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

No communication will be published without its authors name. Rejected man uscripts will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

L. H Russ and ]. F. Keeley are the only authorized travelling representatives Of The Age-Herald in it's circulation de- pertinent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-19

Washington Bureau Age-Herald l4A G street. N. w.
Charlevoix county herald., 1906-09-01
Diary of a Boy.

Saturday September ]. Brite and
fare. Pritty cold fer swimming. but me
and Fudge and fatty went down tn
the cr,k today. 1t made "a fellers teeth
chatter; TOO | CESS we won't 20 emmy
more tets yere.
Yesterday got buddy nose frum
jim. He Snuk up behine and pastid
me I. II want a fare fife, and PA sed
| ought Xix linn III | was sun OF his.
CESS he was sorry fer me becaus
this afternune he TUX me down 10 r.
K. BoOsinger's store and bot me new
suite hat and shuze. CESS he was sorry
fer himse I 2 becaus he sed vile he was
about IL he wud get hiself Schloss
Bros suit. Gee but il was swell / .
in fu yeres l kin ware long pantz,
and Pa seq II don t 9 nok ss2arets and
sGunt mi groeth it wont be long ia
can hev SchlOss suite. Yu can bet
amt even going to smok kOrn silk enny
NOR.
You can buy Schloss Bros Suit or
Overcoat at f. K. B0Osinger's.
Charlevoix county herald., 1906-09-01
| he Real Cause of OPPOSE
ton to rlr. Darragh.

The criticisms OF our congressman
are most disgusting and shameful and
are born of selfish personal interest
and based on malice aud falsehood.
Several ATTORNEYS in the district
hope to get Mr., COvell's place and
draw his present muniticent salary,
consequently they are trying TO accom-
plish Mr.. Darragh's defeat. With this
selfish prospect in view they conclude
that Mr.. Darragh is incompetent anu
very wickedly state that he has not
accomplished anything. Every city
or village has its post Office nght'
Only one candidate unfortunately for
Mr.. Darragh) could be appointed post
master, consequently every place MI.
Covell visits he is warmly greeted by
delegation of disappointed candidates
who are perfectly willing To account
Mr.. Darragh as man of no influence
and seltishly insist that he has in no
way benefited the eleventh district.
BY promising all the postofflces Of
district, and some of them 10 news
paper men, Mr.. Coyell has raised up
another army Of ardent supporters wio
being actuaJed by selfish greed, can
readily be induced to denuunce and
falsify Mr.. DarIagh 10 an unlimited
extent. or course they can easily see
that Mr.. Darragh has no ability and
that he has not done anything for his
constitutes Is.
Lastly, iueral donations of cash In
some places are reported aud are
thought to have sufficient force to in
duce other unprncipled tongues to
join in regular hailelujah chorus of
faulttinding and Misrepresentation OF
Mr.. Darragh,
If the above elements Of oposition TO
Mr. Darragh would cease their efforts
he would be renominated next month
without opposition.
Charlevoix county herald., 1906-09-01
rbe democrat candid ate for COVE

The democrat candid ate for COVER
nor, Mr.. c. Fl. Kimmerle, is said to
have made inquiries at Lansing as to
the location OF the state funds, and
was seemingly disal pointed that all
other business Of the state didn't stop
at once TO give him the details desired
while he waited, 1t takes more time
now to give list OF all the state and
national banks in which Michigan
money is deposited than ii did when
the last democrat state administration
concluded it's management Of affairs.
The state treasury was empty then,
ing republican state officers had to do
was to borrow money TO meet state eX-
penses Two seconds would have been
all the time required to answer ques-
tion about the location Of the state
funds at that time, But there Is more
than eleven million dollars NJ a sur
plus dt tn time, and il d ided b, =
"cen more than one hundred and
fifty Michigan banks. The more in
formation in that direction is inquired
for and made use Of by democrat state
candidates the better it will be for the
state and lis people and for all con.
cerned except tina before mentioned
democrat state candidates.
The information which comes from
Lansing, that the monthly reports Of
the Michigan Central railrUad contir-
pe to show increased earnings, not
outstanding the reduction in fare,
compelled by state law, should be as
pleasing TO the managers OF that rail-
road as IL will be To the people of
Michigan generally. The interest of
the latter ia the Information Is that
1t seems TO fully dispose of the claim
Of the Michigan Central railroad that
1t was financially injured through
being compelled TO make reductions
in passenger fares. and will render IL
almost impossible for that company TO
secure verdict for any of the several
millions IL Is asking from the state on
charter repeal a count.
Charlevoix county herald., 1906-09-01
The Word "Papn."

For some time after the word papa"
was taken into the English language
In the seventeenth century II was re-
stricted to courtly and polite speech
and was common even among adults,
Long after 1t had become childish Il
was still accounted genteel Hood
wrote Of one who was "genteelly
taught to say, not father, but papa"
Papa" may be comparatively a new
conner into the English language, but
1t Is as old as Homer. Nausicaa In
the odyssey" calls her father "pappa
phile"-dear papa.
Charlevoix county herald., 1906-09-01
Not TO De Found I'm the Reports.

A prominent Philadelphia lawyer was
narrating to a younger advocate some
Of the delays and complications Of q
chancery suit In which he was en-
gagged. BLESS me-" said the junior nd
vocate, II never heard Of anything
parallel to that except Jarndyce versus
Jarndyce." The other at once looked
thoughtful and pretty soon, pleading
an engagement. went off. The next
morning he went into the younger
mans Office with an air Of great vex-
alton. Look here!" he said. why
can't you remember names accurately
Here I've spent the whole night try
Ing to find that case Of Jarndyce ver-
sus Jarndyce that you mentioned, and
there isn't any such case In the Penn
sylvanla law reports at ALI"
Charlevoix county herald., 1906-09-01
THE BEST SLEEP.
IL Is Tint Which Ono Cannot Avoid
without Struggle.

without Struggle.
When debating the question, How
much sleep Is needed? one must keep
In mind that the best sleep, indeed, the
only healthy kind, Is that which one
cannot avoid without struggle. 1t is
the sleep that always follows on weari-
ness; it Is NOT that which Is obtained
by difficulty. If person slept for three
hours right away and then awoke re-
freshed-that Is. with no further in
clination to sleep-he would not then
be In need Of It. His proper course
would be to arise and engage In work.
But he must be prepared to sleep at
any time in the day when the longing
occurs. To the latter rule there is one
exception. Let us suppose that one
has acquired the habit Of sleeping half
the night and lying half awake during
the remaining half. Such a habit can
be best brok en- by rising after the first
sleep and refrainlng from nap in the
day. When the bed hour arrives the
chances are that the victim Of inso.n-
MIA will be SO sleep hungry that H.
will not wake until the proper hour for
rising.
In any case 1t Is q great mistake to
turn over on the other side and remain
In a half conscious state. Indeed. II Is
more serious mistake than many
would believe, says Home Notes. The
brain is now in a peculiar state. more
closely resembling the hypnotic than
N -
NAL conditions, Quite lot might be
written about the peculiar dangers and
powers of this half waking state.
Charlevoix county herald., 1906-09-01
STATE TICKET.

For Governor
FRED NJ. WARNER of Pennington
For Lieutenant Gov, rnor-
PATRICK II. KELLY OF Lansing
For Secretary OF State
GEORGE A PRESCOTT of Tawas
City.
For State Treasurer
FRANK F. GLAZIER of Chelsea.
For Auditor General
JAMES b. BRADLEY of Eaton Rap
ids,
For Land commissioner
WIN. Il. ROSE of Bath.
For Attorney General
JOHN f. BIRD OF Adrian.
For Superintendent OF Public Instruction.
LUTHER l.. WRIGHT of lronwo"d.
For Member State Board Of Education
DEXTER NJ. FERRY,JR. of Detroit
Charlevoix county herald., 1906-09-01
LiauOr LIN Candles

Practically every known liquor, as
well as whisky and brandy, Is made
up Into candy In one form or an
other" says a Chicago confectioner.
you can get In bonbons OF various
kinds creme de menthe, cognac, kum-
mel Chartreuse. cherry brandy or ben.
edlctipe,"
Charlevoix county herald., 1906-09-01

Entered at the postofiice at East Jordan
Michigan. as second class mail matter.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1906-11-23
Modern Cement
Construction Buildings.

The Mobile Register advises Wis
itors to that city to take car to the
new union depot and see what is
doing there in the line of cement con-
struction and high-class architectural
work.
Another exhibit worthy OF. atten-
tion is the laundry building on ST.
Emanuel street. near Dauphin. made
wholly of cement. There is not a
stick of timber in it. and all the
beams, as well as the walls, are
made of cement. There are very few
structures of the kind in the country
as yet, but cement is growing in IA
vor and will be in general use ere
long.
The third example of cement con-
struction is the Van Antwerp office
building. that is TO occupy the south
west corner of Royal and Dauphin
streets. The southern half of the
building has reached its second.story
level The building is to be ten
stories high. and to be made of &C.
ment exclusively. II will be the
largest cement house in the South"
Pensacola also offers some similar
examples of cement construction.
The handsome seven-story Blount
ONCE building. now nearing compile,
ton, Is entirely fire proof, every beam,
girder and pillar in 1t being of rein
forced concrete. and even the parti.
tons themselves are being made OF
metal lathes and fire proof plaster
The new Brent building is of SINH
lar construction, and the two-story
building now nearing completion or
West Romano street and owned by
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1906-11-23
What Might Have Been
and Should Now Be.

The New Orleans Picayune wants
to know who owns the hundreds of
thousands of tons of square granite
blocks which were some time ago dis
placed on the streets of that city by
more modern paving, but which have
since been appropriated, hauled away,
and utilized by private parties.
. The Picayune points out that while
these granite blocks are not consid-
cred as good as modern paving ma
terial, yet, in view of the fact that
New Orleans has hundreds of miles
of streets paved only with mud, the
city might better use the granite
there than permit it to be hauled off
.,for use by private interests.
5 The point is well taken and we
refer to it here because it has the
effect of emphasizing a not altogether
sparalleI, but somewhat similar con-
dition in Pensacola
For years, going back even beyond
the time to which the memory of liv-
ing man Tunneth not to the contra
ry, Pensacola has been the recipient
OF ship load after ship load of granite
rOck-enOugh and more than would
have been required to pave every
street in the city and bulk-head the
! entire water front
The greater part of this rock has
been sunk in the bay and lost. A
large portion has been secured and
used by private citizens who had the
means of getting it. and a very little
OF il has been used by the government
In building bulk head or crib at the
quarantine station.
Now the point is, what have the city
governments been doing all these
/ years, and what is the present one
doing that some provision is not made
to secure and utilize this ballast as
II is brought here?
BY supplying place to unload it
providing a rock crusher and a steam
roller, Pensacola could have almos
for the asking some of the fines
macadam streets in the world
When one thinks of the miles OF
streets paved only with stand, of tine
opportunities which have been lost
and of the lack of effort, up even tC
the present time, to secure something
better, II is almost enough to make
q man lose faith in the business ca
pacity of popular municipal govern
ment
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1906-11-23
Italy, Wolf Huntnr.

A modern Nimrod, hunter OF
the old school, has just died IN Italy.
For half century he made wolf
hunting a business which kept him
in comfort and left a margin for .
"rainy day." Wherever there was .
wolf to be destroyed Luca ChiaretH
was called in, and many were his
savage encounters and many the
scars left upon his body as wit
nesses. His left hand showed the
marks of some terrible rips, sustain
ed in executing a royal commission
from the present kings grandpa
Their, the Victor Emmanuel of his.
tory, so long since as 1875. It was
his ambition to capture the beast
alive, and he closed with it for the
purpose, but the wolf got his left
hand in its jaws and tore it SO furi-
ously that with the MANNED hand
still betweeu2the. animals teeth he
lad to shoctit with his right.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1906-11-23
The Use of "We."

Senator Spooner of Wisconsin, is a
successful hunter of big game. On
one of his trips he had for MS guide
Bill Murray They were out looking
for bear or deer one day when Murray
suddenly threw up his rifle and fired.
The senator saw an animal fall heavi-
ly and called: We've got him this
time, Bill" Wei sneered the guide.
-Tberess no we about it. l killed him
plain enough" Quickly making their
way to where their quarry lay, they
found fine specimen of Jersey calf.
We've killed somebody's calf" yelled
the guide. Senator Spooner gave him
a whitening glance and said: William
you should be more particular in your
choice of pronouns. We isn't adapt
ed to this particular instance"
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1906-11-23
Mixed.


Edwin Markham, at dinner in New
York, said of mixed metaphors;
when | was teaching in Los An
geles | used to read every week a
little country paper whose editors
metaphors were an unfailing JOY to
me.
"Once | remember this editor wrote
of contemporary:
THUS the black lie, issuing from
his base throat, becomes a boomerang
in his hand, and, hosting him by his
own petard, leaves him a marked man
for life
HE said in an article On nome life:
The faithful watchdog or the
good wife, standing at the door, wei.
comes the master home with honest
bark
Another time on a more person.
matter, he declared:
"'Our cow has been MIXED in the
pasture for three mornings running
before we got around it, we know
who the miscreant is, and it he does
ii again we will mention his name. LEI
the chips fall where they will
I'm an obituary of a farmer he
wrote:
The race was run at last. Like a
tired steed, he crossed the naTbor-baI
and, casting aside whip and spur. lay
down upon that bourn from which nc
traveller returns"