Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1906-10-25
HE ATTENDS A BALL..

H. 49, y
Policeman Barney Flynn stood be-
fore the captain and saluted.
I'D like" he said, 'f'r to be ordhered
on tn night pathrol mkt Chuesday."
"Why?" asked the captain. DAY
work is considered preferable, and
you've had that for some time"
Policeman Flynn fingered his helmet
nervously for a minute or two before
replying.
CIT is a family matther," he said at
last, "but I'll tell We tn wa-ay Nv it. Ye
see, tn good woman is a mimber iv-
iv-well, tn names shipped me mind,
an what t is all about I've give up
guessin', but she do be a mimber in
good shtandin', an she's Pruning FIR
tn Office iv Grand S~icritary. 'Tw'u'd
not be worryin' me, iv coorse, but firth
ball that's to come off mkt Chuesday,
whin she wants me fir to do a bit iv
campaignin'. ST is FIR you,' she says
to me, to prove ye're a poplar ma-an
with tn ladies. Ye must da-ance with
thin an be polite an nice SOS they'll
all be fallin' over thimsilves FIR to vote
FIR tn wife Nv that fine gintleman,
Barney Flynn Ohio! t is a great
show I'd ma-ake Nv mesilf doin' tn
s'ciety act at a ball."
well, if you don't want to go, why
don't you say so?" asked the captain.
"You can say NO to her, can't your"
"F'r sure" answered Policeman
Flynn. "'Tis no throuble at all to say
No. but tits tn divil's own job to ma
AXE 1t shtick. Ye may be firm in
ye-er tone, but If we think that inds tn
matther tits FIR you to guess wanst
more. I'm sorry about tn ball, Mag
gie,' says ye-er wife to ye-er gir-rl,
lukkin' har-rd at you; ''tw'u'd be a
great chanst FIR We, but ye-er fathers
that silfish he won't CO. An tn mkt
da-ay she says: 'Ye might as well give
awa-ay tn new dhress | made We, fir
ye-er father will give We no oppor-
chunity fr to wear it.
ooh, we'll, I'll order you on night
duty for next Tuesday" said the cap
tain, with a haste that showed he had
no disposition to discuss the subject Of
home rule.
Policeman Flynn went home jubilant.
He ought to have known better than to
think he had so easily outwitted his
wife, but he had the self-complacency
of the average man in these affairs and
considered the matter settled.
otis a matther iv great ray-grit
to me-" he said to his wife, that tn
capt'in has ordhered me on night juty
mkt Chuesday. I had me mind all
ma-ade up f"r to go to tn ball."
Whether Mrs. Flynn, with feminine
intuition, had surmised what would
happen, and had planned a sharp trick
for her lord and master must ever re-
main a matter of conjecture, but GER
tain 1t is that she smiled grimly as
she replied: Thin it's all Fright, FIR
tn ball s been cha-anged to Win'sday
night"
Policeman Flynn tried to look hap
by, but it was a hard task.
"'Tis a fort'nit thing" he said. s.I'r
it raves me free to go with you and
Maggie" But the next night he came
home with a long face and announced
that he had made a mistake in the
orders. 1t was Wednesday that he
was to go on night duty.
Mrs. Flynn smiled even more grim
ly than before as she said: ooh.
shtrange is tn wa-ays iv tn world
that both Nv us sh'u'd be wr-rong. |
made tn mista-ake iv thinkin' they'd
cha-anged tn ball night"
Then Policeman Flynn surrendered
Internationally. He realized that he
was in a trap from which there was
no escape.
'Fll co." was all he said.
Of course 1t was necessary to give
him instruction as to his duties in
the premises. He was to be present
as a sort of political lieutenant to
help her in her campaign for office,
and it was important that he should
do his work in the most effective
manner
CIV coorse, Barney" she explained,
I'VE must give ye-er attintion to thin
that has votes, and tbs not tn min
in this ca-ase. Ye must da-ance-"
Lave me out Nv that" he hastily
interrupted. "Sure, tits you that