davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1906-03-01

as a simyclvilized horsefy. Thin
craythers, whin provoked, will
chase a man eight miles fer the
sake av lawn raised autographs
on his imbonpoint. Fer mesilf I
don't approve av gittin' branded
on the highway whin there are
plinty av artificial names pro an
con.
In introjoocin' moskaytoes I big
to announce that they vary in size
from pants buttons to blue jays,
Notwithstanding the ifforts av So
ciety papers to call thin gnats.
Annywan who can ride from Chi
to Hackensack in fatcare an
call thin gnats, is a pachyderm
shure. The voracity av these vul-
lures to suck sap out av bald
hidded mans pate, is as crool a
jist as the human mind can con-
timplate, lit alone purpytrate.
'Tiz mans own fault if he
wears hair lie, because it draws
thin, tho I am confdint if he wud
scrape his pate wild choonk av
fat poork, not to mintion hand
ful av antake lard, why the scint
might strangle thin foriver an
liver.
The CONSTRUCTION av their frame
is ploorality az prong, or two
hidded pick, that works like
fountain pin, the same bein' kipt
in coleopterous case nothin'
short av foorteen CART. Shortly
afther the invintion av gauze we
named it moskaytoe nittin' an
applied it to the wind1es. tho in
swim days it had deginerated into
sburt waists.
What's the use av parylizin'
wan ayvil whin it propygates tin
young vans? liz so Disguised I
am that I will lave the DISSECTION
av graybacks to thin as are more
familiar wild their habits.
E. E. Fl.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1906-03-01

would be quite uninteresting,
without you in it. As your friend
Mr.. Blackler says, kindly eluci-
date. Enclosed find card, which
you should consider an honor, as
the others will not be out till
tomorrow. With regrets for my
stupidity,
Beryl White"
"Blackler!' shouted Perkins.
'sHello!" was the response from
an adjoining room.
"Let's get the boys and go out
and smear this old town with the
festive crimson pigment.
Thought you had sworn offY'
"Going to swear on again. Come
on. There will be doings tonight" =
And afterwards, like Father
Adam, Perkins would say, 'The
woman that did it." A. D. ANAC.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1906-03-01
Calling Down the Young Drummer


In a small town in Indiana q
group of drummers were assem-
bled. They sat IN the reading
room of the country hotel. On the
f1imsy hotel paper they had fin
ished writing to their firms with
the lumpy ink and rusted pens
which the hotel management pro-
vided, and now, with newspaper
reading and desultory talk, they
continued to while away the long
tedious evening.
A young drummer in red tie
took the cigarette from his mouth
and said:
"Well, my days sale here
reached $1,000. Not bad for a
small town, eh?'
An elderly drummer looked up
from his newspaper and said
quietly:
'sNot bad at all. It is wonder
full what one can sometimes do in
these little places. On my last
trip here my commissions came to
just what your sales did,"
The young man redeemed and
said gruf1y.
saThis isn't lying competition. .
ooh, excuse me, I thought it
was" Elk.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1906-03-01
The Bishop and the Waffles.

The late Bishop Dudley, Of
Kentucky, was wont to relate with
much relish an interesting expert
ence which he once had in con-
nection with waf1es.
At a fine old Virginia home
stead where he was a frequent
guest the waffles were remarkably
good, as the bishop knew.
One morning as breakfast drew
near an end, the tidy little black
boy who served at table ap-
preached Bishop Dudley and
asked in low voice:
Bishop won't y have 'n'er
wafae?"
eyes," said the genial bishop,
II believe I will
"Dey ain no mo-" said the boy.
"Well," exclaimed the surprised
reverend gentleman, ''if there
aren't any more waf1es, what
made you ask me if I wanted an
other one?"
Bishop, you's done ct ten
already, an I fought y wouldn't
want no mo-
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1906-03-01
FL Love Spasnt. :
AERKINS was in love. He
had ceased denying it to him
self, and Blackler's skeptical

smile showed the futlllty OF
denying it openly. Blackler had
eyes in his head, and could draw
his differences with average perspi-
cacity. And it did not require a
Sherlock Holmes to discover the
cause of Perkins changed de-
meanor. He would sit for hours
staring into vacancy, and forget
ting to light his cigarette. Usual
ly inclined toward conversation,
he became morose and uncommu-
nicative. He had mounted the
water-wagon. Little jaunts with
the boys, usually hailed with Joy,
had no attraction for him now.
Blackler became neutrality-suspicious.
pathetic.
"Why don't you marry the girl,
and be done with it?' he asked
ooh. shut up!' was all the salts
faction he got.
Miss Beryl White was the &C
knowIedged belle of the city. She
was of the once-s .never-forgot-
ten type. For genuine all-around
beauty, she had all the beauty
shows in the country beaten to a
froth. And, if her appearance
caused paIpitation, her manner
Just made you Fundamentally.
When she smiled on you, you felt
that there was little. more to live for
in life-unless you had the nerve
to consider yourself an eligible.
Now Perkins had nerve. In
business transaction he was as
soeol AS the proverbial cucumber,
land he was not to be daunted by
ANY combination of events, even
tho his fortune were in danger.
He had won and lost fortunes
several times could do it
i again. But this was a different
proposition. You can't approach
a young lady, and ask for an
option on her heart and hand.
You can't form life partnership
sin the same off-hand manner that
he and Blackler had formed theirs
True, there were mutual advan-
dages, which might accrue, but
how could he point them out.
From books he had read, Perkins
understood that there were senti-
mental things to be said, hands to
be held, avowals to make, and he
couldn't for the life of him decide
how to commence. And, even if
he did commence, had he any as
surance that he would meet with
encouragement? Far from it. He
fslt certain that he would be
shown the door, with explicit and
speremptory instructions to use it.
The above will give you some
idea of the trend of Perkins
thought. While Miss White was
poor and he rich, he would have
sscorned the notion that this could
have any bearing on the case. She
was not mercenary.
Now Perkins had always valued
Blackler's advice and counsel in
any business undertaking, and he
resolved to take his partner into
mis- confidence, and request his as
sistance.
"Look here, Blackler,' he said
one evening, 81 may as we'll admit
that | am in love with Miss White.
And what l want to know Is, will
she marry me?"
81 dunno" said Blackler va
cantly.
swell, hang it! Don't I know
you don't know
"Well, what did you ask me
sfor?"
81 didn't. I said I wanted to
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1906-03-01
Muldoon on Entomology.

N II
| The first intimation I liver had
av devilopin' into scientific, waz
wan day while chasin' boomble-
bays wild an illygitimate ping
pong paddle.
Yis, I slipped in the mist, re-
cayvin' inlarged fohotygraps av
the hilthy vans an tintypes av
the drones, if yez will permit the
vulgar1ty av kodack ixprlssion.
B'gorry, 1 waz regular monop-
oily av rotundities an durin' the
imbarrassmint me mither utylized
me shoulder blades fer wash
boord, sayin' the corrygations waz
more profuse an symitrical than
the original itsilf. Ye see, we
waz ixpictin' famine, it bein'
contimporaneous wild. the time
lllyvators thried to arbitrate the
bod carriers sthrike, so if amy
commisseration waz shown it whit
to economic household ixpinses.
From that day I comminced to
parylize boogs that Grape an crawl,
gainin' proficiency that in a
slmyconscious state I cud ami
hilate few that passed in the
night. Az coorse, not hovin' the
hide av pachyderm, me landscape
PRESENTED continuous vawdyville
to the utter stoopyfaction av the
singin' skool l attinded. The
comfy tould me I cud thank me
wonderful bass that [ want tx
piled from the dictatorship in
tirely.
In the manetime me knowledge
ACCUMULATED be Extraordinary jerks,
the same as did calorific sinsa-
tons; in fact, the FREQUENCY av the
lather ixalted the an@sthetic prop
critics av ipydermls to the quintis-
since av invulnerability.
Kind friends, the foorgoin' re-
versatile remyniscince is only to
show ye how I got me start, an
provide yez wild a diploma in case
annywan villyies me scientific
qualifications. In acquaintin' the
stoodint wild the science av into
mology, me main pains hov been
the eradicatin' av dagoe pronouns,
besides a gineral abridgemint av
POLYTECHNIC hyperboles.
AS we trace back the ginealogy
av insicts we find they sproong
from two proginitors, namely,
thin wild antayrior ,prongs, an
those wild postayrior bayonits,
both implemints attainin' mag
nitood betwane dwarf carpit tacks
an tinpinny hatpins. Promynint
amongst these ayvils are rid ants,
grasshoppers, boomblebays, mos
kaytoes, an a homogeneous collie
tion av graybacks.
The rid ant waz first discovered
in Galvy an is an articulate haste
comprized av three sections an
visytybule tinymint fiat. Their
sense av gastronomy waz injoored,
or ilse they are blind, fer they
inter mans shurt wild as much
avidyty as they wud frosted
cake. The grasshopper is an
orthopterous insict that ates lawns
on the installmint plan, joompin'
hither an yonder wild elastic mo-
tions. Their construction bellies
the name, as they raysimble con-
dinsed kangaroos.
Mkt in rotation I how the
boomblebay. scientifically known
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1906-03-01
Plain Filters Without
varnish.
~BY d. w. *

A chorus girls success depends
upon her understanding.
Some men are born great and
become little on their own account.
When a man keeps his own
counsel he hasn't much use for a
lawyer.
There seem to be several able
liars established in the canal belt.
There are always fools who will
rock the boat, even when en-
barked on the sea of matrimony.
Since the cold wave struck the
East there has been some talk of
making Maine winter resort
for Eskimos.
If a thin woman belongs to the
upper ten she is called fragile"
but if she is one Of the common
people sheis "scrawny."
There are people in Russia who
seem to have no other aim in life
than to hatch some scheme to make
the life of the czar more miserable.
On last holiday one of the boys
asked me the name of the new
chief Of the Osages. I can't say
it for laughing, but it is spelled
Skink- kah- ha-he-he.
It is about time now to hear
from the IS or 9O-year-old man
who has cut and corded up his
one hundred cords of four-foot
wood during the winter.
We often hear it said that
money will not buy happiness
but it will buy fuel, raiment, food,
and Injuries, and the possession
of these ought to add great deal
to ones happiness.
The wonders of electricity will
never cease. A California M. D.
has discovered that brain action
in the creation of thought is cleo
trical in it's nature. That accounts
for a great many shocking ideas.
The new battleship New Jersey
will soon be christened and
launched. I presume that instead
of the proverbial bottle of wine, she
will be christened with Jersey
Lightning"
There is one of DR.. Osler's
pieces of advice that I shall try to
follow if ever regain my freedom.
He says to the old men: "Asso-
ciate with the younger members
of society,"" I mean to 'go out
with the boys myself.
Secretary Taft has tried many
methods for reducing his weight.
The latest was vigorous horseback
exercise. It is claimed he re
duced his avolrdupois twenty
nine pounds in one month but
you ought to see the horse.
$3.50
A good question for debate in
a literary society is Resolved,
that it is more economical in a
presidential election to buy votes
of the common voters with cigars,
drinks, and little cash, as we do
in the United States, than it is to
buy the assembly with good
round sum, as they do in France.
nnno
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1906-03-01

Don't you remember another IN
stance of proposing by proxy
which turned out all wrong3 You
might turn out to be a second
Miles Standish."
"Huh, you fatter yourself"
"Well, if you want advice from
me l should say go right to he1
home and tell her all about it.
"But Blackler, | don't believe
could say word. I'd get all tan.
gled up. I'd make an all-round
chump of myself.
"Well then write tosher."
"Gosh! Blackie, 1 never thought
of that. That's just what I'll do. y
He pulled open his writing desk
and sitting down to it, tried to
concoct a love letter. It was hard
work. He filled his waste basket
with discarded sheets before he
seemed satisfied. Then with a
sigh of relief he folded it and,
enclosing it in an envelope, wrote
the address, and rang for bellboy.
This important parsonage he CON-
missioned to procure a messenger,
on whose arrival, the letter was
dispatched. And thereafter, for
two hours, Perkins sat and wished
he hadn't. He thought of hun
dred things he should have said,
and was sure he shouldn't have
said some of the things he did say.
He consumed countless cigar.
cites in his impotence, and
jumped at every footstep he heard
in the corridor.
Miss White was at home, when
the messenger arrived, and the
letter was Immediately conveyed
to her. She opened it and read /:
Dear Miss White:-
It is with trepidation, I might
say with fear and trem bling, that
| address this note to you. Had
| been brave, l suppose I should
have come to you myself, but who
would not quail at the risk I am
taking. For [ am CHANGING all
on one turn Of the wheel. In 9TH
er words, your answer will make
or break me. In short, dear
Beryl, I love the very ground you
walk on, and with all the power
in my being. If you will consent
to entertain my suit, please reply
by bearer, and you will make me
the happiest man in the world.
With deepest love,
Charles Perkins,"
Miss White was thunderstruck!
The last thing in the world she
would have expected, was a pro-
posal from Perkins. And the
funniest part of it was that she
was already engaged to a young
lawyer. The cards announcing
the engagement, we're to be sent
out the following day. Miss
White developed fit of laughing
that alarmed her parents.
''Oh mother, just read this" and
she handed Perkins note to her
mother. Then there was family
It was decided to send
one of the announcements to Per-
kins by his messenger, and Miss
White resolved to send a note
with it.
Perkins had almost reached the
limit of his patience, when the mes
senger returned. Feverishly he
the envelope and drew out
the enclosures. One was card.
He read it, staggered, and sank
into a chair. So this was his
answer. Thus ended his dreams
Of happiness. What should it
be, revolver, poison, rope or
river? Well, first he'd read what
she had to say. He opened the
note:
The Democrat-sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1906-1935, 1906-05-10
LIVE STOCK
GRAIN AMI LIVE STOCK.

CHICAGO Catule: Common to prime
steers 81 O0@6 10; heifers, 81 l545 10;
cows 81 2544 "a; bulls. 81 75@5 so;
stOckers ard feeders s. 50614 81. Sheep
and Lambs Sheep 81 7505 15 lambs,
IS 0O@7 so; yearlingJ, s. 25m5 Is. Calves
81 7505 "a Hogs Choice to prime
heavy, SO 1895 55; medium to good
heavy, 50 !On6 40; butcher weights, So 40
at 52l,; good TO choice heavy mixed.
Sc 4OmG IA packing. So 15a6 40. Wheat
No. ? red. S7ai dssl4c. Corn-No, 3 47a.
Q4Sc Oats No. 2. 31si Q32c
EAST BUFFALO Cattle: Good to
choice export. So @5u5 So; shipping steers,
81 75M5 -; butcher cattle. 81 9005 90;
fat cows, 81 G0d4 so; bulls, So 25D4 %:
mixers and sprngers. $50 00@50 90.
Sheep and Lambs Good TO choice weth-
ers. 50 SOFAS 65; mixed S. 25Q5 So ewes,
S5 O0d5 70; lambs. ST O0G6 so. Calves
Best, So 0Ou6 20, ogs-Heavies and
mediums. 81 So Workers. 81 S5@6 ):
pigs 81 so: roughs. So 75@6 Is; stays.
81 OOQJ 90.
PiTTSBURG - Cattle: Choice, SIS 400
) 90; prime. Sc 20d5 ~; tidy butchers,
81 GJ@4 s5; heifers, 50 O094 so; cows,
bulls and stags s. 504+ %, fresh COWS
and sprinsers. S25 0OQ5O %. Sheep and
l.ambs--Prme wethers, IS 25I5 40 good
mixed, S5 O0@5 2O lambs, So 00@6 S5 :;
spring lambs, SIS 00@l1 co. Calves-s5 90
weights, 81 70 pigs, ST so; stays, 81 5O@
8 90; roughS So 50QG 0J
CLEVELAND-Ca Cattle: Good 10 choice
steers 81 95@5 35; heters, 81 45@4 So;
fat COWS, So 206D4 20; bulls. 81 O5Q4 20;
mixers and springers. SIS 0O@5O 90
Sheep and Lambs Good to choice clipped
lambs. ST O0d6 % culls. SO 5Oa5 90
clipped wethers. 81 s545 90; ewes. "a 90
as 90 Calves--s6 30 down. IIogs-Mixnd
weights. So 70m6 75; pigs. So so; staga.
81 50d5 90; roughs, Sc 50Q6 co.
CiNc cINNATl-Wheat No. red sea
SOC. Corn-No. 3 mixed. 52c. Oats-No. =
mixed 3+l2c. Rye-No. 2, 6S1sc. Lard
So 30. Bulk meatS-s9 IS. Bacon-$lO 25.
Hogs-s6 45lDG G5. Cattle-$2 25a5 25
Sheep-s3 50D+ 20. Lambs-$5 0Oa7 %.
6oSToN-WooI: Ohio and Pennsylva-
MIA XX and above, 3+@34Ac; X, 32@33c;
No. / and l.-blood, 39a4Oc; fine unwash-
ed, 2542Gc; unwashed delaine, 2S@29c;
washed delnine. 36Is @37c; Kentucky, In
aiana. etc, Il s-blood 33@34c.
TOLEDO Wheat, soc; corn, Size;
tats 35l4c; rye, G61ac; cloverseed. Sc 30.
NEW YORk-.Wheat: No. red, Ole.
Corn-No ?. Sse. Osts-Mixed. s7Mc.
The Democrat-sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1906-1935, 1906-05-10

with big chouN of black ribbon and
occasionally with wreaths of curious
dead colored flowers.
Embroidered buttons on linen gowns
are often the only trimming on the Sc
verely tailored styles.
The nightdrcss fashioned on the lines
Of the chemse is In vogue The neck
Is drawn up to the required size with
ribbon. The effect is decollete and
very becoming to n pretty throat or
neck.
a collar to have any pretenslons to
smurtness must be one with the waist
or trimmed SO as to leave that appear
ance.
a pretty shade for summer will
be pink, which will be worn Il great
deal. and lobster, buff. crimp, cocoa
biscuit, swansdown and lemon. \
pure pink lightweight cloth suit made
with an Eton jacket will be appreciat.
ed all summer.
The handsome hat illustrated Is Il
GaInsbOrOugh shape carried out in
black neapolitan straw About the
edge of the brim is Il handsome piece
OF fine jet. The only other trimming
On the hat is an enormous white Os.
trch plume
The Democrat-sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1906-1935, 1906-05-10

suits The short skirts are plated, and
the pony cOats have dark velvet collars.
II Is easy 10 assume that the milli-
ners hold no superstition with regard 10
the peacock feather, for It waves its
baneful Influence over much of the new
millinery.
There are two varieties Of skirts
in conspicuous evidence-the corselet
skirt and the skirt that is cut on the
cross which, when eleyerly handled, Is
extremely graceful aud becoming.
Bands trim many Of the newest
skirts and are to lie seen as well ON
the Jackets. Sometimes entire sleeves
are formed Of layers. one might say,
Of these trimmings. The bands are
either quite deep or are cut on the bias
measuring about two inches wide and
stitched on the edges only. ON skirts
n hem Is put under the folds, which
gives weight and steadlness to the foot
line
Sapphire blue has come into favor
again, and the mohairs show lovely
rlaids Ia IA variation OF this color
The hat illustrated Is a sailor shape
covered with embroidered linen. The
brim Is faced with panama straw A
black velvet band and bow finish this
smartly simple creation. IN
The Democrat-sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1906-1935, 1906-05-10

course of the past year he had en-.
countered her upon the street. and
from the very first he had been inter
ested. He was not exactly in love, he
told himself, but very near it. Now
he would have 10 dodge if he saw her;
he would have to slip into some store
or across the street. 1t would be in
tolerable. He cut out the advertise
ment and placed 1t in his pocketbook
AS soon as the morning mail was
disposed OF he drew toward him let
ter head and wrote rapidly. Several
sheets were destroyed before he finally
decided that the letter would do, and
before he slipped II into the envelope
he regarded Il for third time.
"Mr. Robert Hardy Stetson," it ran,
"begs to assure Grateful that she is
In error concerning the disappearance
OF her watch. Mr.. Stetson would sug-
gest that Grateful make application
to the police. He is ready to give
them ample proof as to his honesty
and standing"
The tiny business card in the corner
would give the address, and he fiatter-
ed himself that the note would serve
its purpose. 1t was given boy to take
TO the newspaper office, and the rest of
the day Stetson divided his time
mourning his dead romance and Won
derlng what the girl would say when
she read the letter, lie dnttered him
self that II was dignl6ed and eminent
ly calculated 10 remind her of her
transgresslon.
Possibly could he have seen the re,
clpent when she glanced over the
formal lines he would have been sur
prised. for, with her face wreathed in
smiles, she nodded at the clerk.
"fon needn't put it in again" she
said Thank ylu very much"
Stetson scowled Mt the pale tinted
note on his desk the following morn
Ing The girl could have no iustifca-
hon for her suspicious. certainly none
that he would accept. II was lmpert!-
nent of her 10 make answer to him.
For ten minutes he turned il over and
over before he silt The cover and drew
forth the inclosure. lie stared for
moment dumfounded at the opening
lines. which ran:
Miss Alice Eyertoa Woodrow begs
TO thank Robert Hardy Stetson for
his somewhat tardy answer 10 her nd
vertisemcnt. She begs TO assure Mr.
Stetson that she does not believe him 10
be n thief Ills unwillmgncss 10 an-
swer the earlier advertisement led 10
the suggestion on the part Of The clerk
IN the advertisement office that The
The Democrat-sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1906-1935, 1906-05-10
IMPROVED WHEAT.

Up to about fifteen years ago the
average crop OF wheat in Minnesota
was nearly fifteen bushels to the acre.
worth at prevailing prices about $40.
AS result OF experimental work at
the Minnesota experiment station
which consisted of process OF select
Ing seed for most vigorous plants
through period of dozen years, the
Yield has been Increased lJ per cent
over large area of the state, and
further experiments still in progress in
the way of originating new varieties
promise still further increase. Work
OF this kind along the line of lmproy
ing the type and producing desirable
hybrid varieties, coupled with that OF
Secretary Wilson In introducing the
durum or macaroni wheat through n
large portion of the semiarld sections
OF the northwest, Is adding enormously
TO the total value of the wheat pro-
duced In the districts covered by the
experimental work.
The Democrat-sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1906-1935, 1906-05-10
FOR MADEMoIsEllE

Most mothers will hail with delight
the news that children are to weal
more colOred frockS this summer than
they have for some time Even the
tots under five will appear in dainty
shades of blue and pink
Straight little dresses fitted into the
waist. with Il seam under the arms are
Il smart design. They sometimes have
few tucks at the bottom of the skirt,
hut are otherwise plain save for Il little
trimming AT the throat and wrists. For
dressier gowns deep embroidery collars
that come we'll over the shoulders are
used with deep cuffs to match,
As Il result of the empire and direc-
tore styles belts are placed quite a lit
lie above the waist line The newest
belts are made of wide folded. colored
SILK run through ohlong buckles OF Kid