The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-20
ARIZONA KICKI.ETs.

ARIZONA KICkI4ETS.
A Bunch of Denials From the West |
ern Editor.
So many false paragraphs are float
ing around about US that we cannot /
give space to denials every week. We |
shall in future bunch them every two !
or three months, and thus clear the |
slate. The following is bunch the first: |
The Moose Head Tribune says that /
We set fire to school house in NIichi- |
gan when we were only 10 years old. |
We We're never in Michigan, and at o |
years old we were taking prizes for
being the best boy in Sunday school.
A Chicago paper says that our
hands were dabbling in human blood
before we reached the age of Il. Right
ye are. 1t was our own blood. though
We used to have the nosebIeed almost
every day.
The people Of Salt Lake City have
been told that we have stolen over
100000 head of cattle within the last
I'VE years, and that in doing so we
have killed no less than five officials of
the law Gee, but what an appetite we
nave Tor blood and beef.
Ex-Judge Truax. who is now in Santa
re, says that we made no less than
three attempts to assassinate him dur
the Gulch. The truth of the matter is
that We made at least six atten1nts to
get back the IS he borrowed of US when
he first came to town.
The Grass Valley Tribune charges Us
as secretary Of the local vigilance com
mittee, with having brought about the
iiynchlng Of the Hon; James Stone, an
was usually referred to as "Bloody
jim, and after he had wounded two
residents of the town and def1ed the
power of the law it was thought best
20 pun MS neck bit. He is believed to
have returned.
Colonel Drake, now in Indiana. saws
tnat we drove him out Of the GuIch at
the muzzle Of a revolver because we
that every human being in the town
lives in daily terror of US. Colonel
Drake jumped this town in the night
owing $3.50 borrowed money.
Major Morse, who hung out in this
town at the public expense for a wear.
and Is now in Illinois, says that one day
we owned up to him that we had killed
seven different men since residing In
Arizona, and that in each and every
instance 1t was a foul murder. The
only time we ever got CONFIDENTIAL with
the major was when we stopped him
on the street and pulled his nose.
The. story is current in Denver that
as superintendent Of an orphan asylum
IN Ohio we made big bonfire and nut
sixty-four innocent little kids to bake.
We think we hear the sixty-four laugh
ing and Growing yet at the idea of get
ting good and warm.
The D;-- I'm
deliberately cut the throat of our horse
on the race track one day because he
came in second, and that we have been
known to kill a sheep and drink its
warm blood. We never had a horse
that didn't come In first In a race and
the four barrels OF cider we innorf
from Colorado every fall last ms
through the year for drink. The child
ish way in which the sheep of Arizona
look to us for protection always touch
ed a tender chord.
A Florence paper says that when the
Kicker claims to have a billion cfrcu-
lation it lies and knows it lies The
Kicker never claimed to have a billion
circulation. Our figures never an
preached it within five thousand. We
would like to reach an even billion,
but we are not going to claim what we
have not got
4Ae story tual we 6notS the heels or
the shoes of a woman sixty years old
and gave her such a scare that she
dropped dead of heart disease lacks q
climax. Why didn't the author nut one
on by saying that we roasted her and
carried her ashes in a bag hung to our
neck TO keep the witches away?
We have no remembrance that while
on our way to Wolf Creek three OF four
years ago we descended from the saddle
and took q papoose from the arms OF
its mother and dashed It's brains out
against a tree, but we see the item
floating around and passing as truth. If
the nother-squaw will come forward,
even at this late day, we viii tell her
how sorry we are
A newspaper IN st. Paul says that we
entered the bank OF the guIch one day
last year and held a revolver to the
head Of the cashier and made him
cough up a loan Of $50, 600. AS we are
proprietor and president Of the bank,
and have every opportunity to lay
hands on our own money. the story
seems to have too many fringes on IT,
Copyright 1906. by Mcclure Phillips &
Col