The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1906-09-05

What 1T Would Cost Him.
"Then you are greater than the beef
trust. If every one Of your thirty
COWS had calf, the thirty calves
might bring you 5000, but~no more. In
figuring on the expenses Of the frst
year we will say that your hay and soft
feed cost you $1,700. That is a very
close estimate. You must buy team
of horses. wagon, milk cans, pals,
:hurns, etc. You must allow at least
$500 for these things
Not on your life! Not if know
how to cipher! Why, you must take
me for the biggest fool in the state.!'
"Tou can submit my figures to any
one YOU will. You have estimated Jour
income altogether too high. The COWS
will give much less milk in the wintec-.
Some Of than may be ailing Or die.
The price of hay may so up. Instead
of S125 per week, you should figure on
$75. Out of this. even after you get
started, must come the expenses of
feed, help and the keep of your team.
You will have to turn in and work
yourself, and if there is any 'Bowsers
Best butter made you will have to al
low me an extra girl in the house.
Don't bob around on your chair now,
but figure as business man"
Figures Encourage Eowser.
"Dcn't tell NE that am bo35ing
around shouted Mr.. Bowser, so loud
II that he was heard in the next house.
Zone would think you We're talking to
an infant. I say you are wrong from
beginning to end tell you, there's at
least $4,000 a year clean profit in this
thing for me, but Of course you want
to knock it in the head if you can. By
thunder, what a jackass am ever to
sit down and talk to you about bust
ness"
s. 81 don't think you have lost anything
by it, quietly replied Mrs. Bowser.
However, if you think I am wrong.
please show me where. Can you buy
COWS for less than $40 apiece? Haven't
you got to have barn? Haven't you
got to have help? Haven't you got to
have feed? Tell me where my figures
are too high"
''What's the use? You don't want to
be convinced, and you won't be. l am
offered the opportunity of my life, and
you stand in the way and try to make
me out an idiot"
"You are hardly fair with me, Mr..
Bowser. If you will show me where l
am wrong in my figures I'll cheerfully
start dairy farm with you"
'Pll bring you figures from man
who has run dairy farm himself and
made $4,000 a year at it. I'll even
bring the man himself"
A minute later Mr.. Bowser was out
Of the house and on his way to the
family butchers. He had often heard
that the butcher was formerly a dairy
farmer, and that his sole object in sell
ing out and moving into town was to
educate his son in telling the difference
between a knockkneed horse and a
comic opera, He found the butcher
smoking his pipe and meditating, and
he began:
'sa1r. Bones, didn't you used to run
dairy farm somewhere"
81 think so," was the cautious an
swer.
"And you made $4,000 a year?'
81 have been charged with so doing"
'Weii, now, knowing me as you do,
what would you advise in my case? I
can trade my house and lot for dairy
farm"
"39ow many acres"
Eighty"
"How many cows!
GAS many as I want to buy. thought
of starting with thirty"
ssHow's the COW barn?"
''There isn't any"
whats your experienced"
Haven't had any,"
Butcher Discourages Plan.
s'Mr. Bowser," said the butcher, as
he rose up and got behind the meat
block, 'sgo into the business Of raising
jackasses. You have had experience
and can't help but make success"
There would have been row had
not a couple of women customers come
in. Mr.. Bowser was forced to post
Done the bloodletting to another time,
and he went out and wandered up and
down the street with bent head and
back bumped up. His dairy had soured
on him. His "Bowser's Best would
never be on the market. He would
never rub the backs Of cows or fondle
their calves. And men and women
who took notice Of him whispered to
each other:
"Say, that's Bowser, that is, and
Mrs. Bowser's got the better of him
again" NJ. QUAD.
The Joy Of 1t.