The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-04-14

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The professors wife can't hold a
candle to him." "Of course not. He
wears celluloid collars."-Ex.
Pa, what are the wages of sin ?"
We'll, the salaries or those trust off,
clals vary greatly. my son."-Smart
Set.
We'll, Maggie, you have now been
married year. How do you like your
husbandP' "Sober, mum" Houston
Post.
DO you think I show my age" asks
Miss Blderlee. why, no. | think you
succeed very admirably in concealing
II. '-lndlanapolis Sentinel.
He-I was an intimate friend of your
late husband. Can't you give me some
thing to remember him by? She (shyly)
How would l do?-Punch.
Robble-Mamma, why have you got
papa's hair in a locket? His Mother
TO remind me that he once had
some, Robbie.-Illustrated Bits.
knicker-Strange they didn't name
the baby after Its rich uncle. Booker
No; he looked at 1t, and said he'd give
them $4,000 not to-Harper's Bazaar.
Woody Riter-I've always thought
1t would be fine to be poet Editor
1t certainly should be fine, or impris-
onment or both.-Philadelphia Press.
Briggs see that young Tutter
came near being dubbed to death by a
New York policeman. Griggs-What
offense was he innocent of?-Smart
Set.
MA" What is it?" as the stuff
In that bottle bay rum?" Mercy, no I
It's mucilage." Il guess that's why
l can't get my cap off. cleveland
Leader.
Nell-They say her wedding simply
beggared description. Belief don't
know about that, but I've heard 1t near
ly beggared her father.-Philadelph
Record.
ut takes a lot of patience to run an
automobile, does 1t not?" asked the
man. Eyes, lots of patients" replied
the doctor; land I've got em."-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
Mrs. Style-I want hat, but 1t
must be in the latest style. Shopman
kindly take chair, madam, and
wait a few minutes; the fashion is
Just Observation-Disclosures Star.
rtfceT asked the visiting parson.
Yes, indeed" replied Mrs. LIE Style;
Il once declined to be interviewed by
\ society reporter. Chicago News.
Mrs. Jollyboy-How are you getting
along with your servants now? Mrs.
Gayboy-Splendidly. We have made
them a present of the house, and now
we are boarding with them.-Town
Topics.
II suppose he Just clasped you in
his arms when the canoe upset2" mo;
quite the opposite" "Quite the op-
poster Eyes; the canoe upset when
he elapsed me in his arms. "-Hous-
top Post
Teacher-A coal dealer has ten tons
Of coal which he sells at IS ton. How
much does he get for 1t? Scholar
About $65. Teacher-Thats wrong.
Scholar-Yes'm but all coal dealers do
it.-Judge.
Mrs. Bleachblonde-I found this
black hair on your coat What does
1t mean? Mr.. Bleachblonde- Why,
that is my last winters coat Your
hair was black then, you know
Smart Set.
Gossip exclaimed Farmer Korntop,
after listening to the story; "he must
be. regular dead beat" "Huhw
snorted the victim, '-he's plumb sight
worse'n that. He's live one."-Phil-
adelphia Ledger.
Paying Teller can't cash this
check. madam, until you are identi-
fed. Mrs. Bright-You mean I have
to identify myself? Paying Teller
Yes, madam. Mrs. Bright-How sim
Pile! Have you looking-glass?- Eek.
Lawyer-And what was the defend
ant doing meanwhiler Witness-He
was telling me a funny story Law
yer-Remember, sir, that you are I'M
der oath. Witness-Well, anyway, he
was telling me a story.-Somerville
Journal.
The teacher had been telling the
class about the rhinoceros family.
"Now, name some things" said she,
that 1t Is very dangerous to get near
and that have horns" "Automobilesp
replied little Jennie Jones, promptly.
New York World
Senator" asked the pretty girl, do
you know what the railroad fare Is
from here to Washington NO" he
replied before giving himself time to
think, "but 1 can tell you the exact
mileage If that will do you any good"
Chicago Record-Herald.
"Pshawr' said the Judge, there's
no reason why you people should be
divorced. Go home and make up.
There are no grounds" But
judge" the man frantically interrupt.