Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-04-12
DAILY SHORT STORY
A MAN AND A HOG.

Copyright, 1906. by Mcclure. Phillips & Col
1t was generally believed in the
village of Grafton that Deacon Still
well and the widow Carter would
make a match of it after the deacon's
year of mourning was up.
One year and two weeks and seven
hours after his wife's death the deacon
| sauntered around to the widows gate
of Sunday evening. He was in his
| best clothes, and he had made UP his
| mind to pop the question and have the
day set. The widow sat on the We
randa whacking at the bugs and flies,
| and he took seat beside her.
AS a prelude he began to tell her
about the drought in Texas, and he had
| got along as far as to state that every
| COW wanting a drink had to walk loo
miles for it when the widow rose up
with a cry. She had espied a hog in
her back garden. 1t was a spotted
hog, and his snout was playing hob
among her Early Rose potatoes. he
had burst his way in from the alley
without reference to its being the Sab
bath day and had already rooted up a
dozen hills.
Its a hog in the garden!' she ex-
planned as she turned to the deacon.
Yes, 1 see, and I'll soon have him
out of that"
1t Is said that every person born has
an antipathy. The deacon had one.
and it was hogs. He always had two
or three in the pen. and he never
missed giving them sly whacks when
occasion offered. To be interrupted as
he was. by hog, and that on Sun
day to boot, made his blood boil. He
| might have to race that porker around
for fifteen minutes before finding out
whether the widow would say yes or
no when the real pinch came.
81 think it's one of Perkins hogs.
said the widow as the deacon slid OF
the veranda and looked around for q
club.
1T doesn't make any difference who
owns him, he's in your garden"
"You don't mean you'll kill him?"
I'll break every bone in his body!'
There was a grimness about the
deacon that the widow had never seen
before, but before she could say any
thing further he set off with club in
his hand. The hog had his head turned
the other way and was very busy, and
the first thing he knew he received
such a thump across the back that he
supposed an apple tree had fallen on
him. He took a skate for a few rods
and then turned about and saw the
man and his club.
Anybody who thinks hog has no
feelings will get left. He knows the
difference between square deal and
sneak, and when he Is Inundated he
feels revengeful 1t didn't take this
particular hog over ten seconds to real
ize that he had been played low down
and to decide ON course of action.
He was near the hole he came in at,
but he started on a run for the house.
Moreover. he squealed as he ran.
The sQuealing of hog on quiet
Sunday evening in any community will
bring out anxious inQuirers. The dea-
con knew it, but he went racing after
his victim. He lodged around the
fruit trees in his race and finally got
near enough to deliver blow. 1t was
blow meant to kill the pOrker so
stone dead that not single bristle
would stir after the club came down.
but it missed the hogs nose by an inch
and hit tree.
'Have you killed yourseif?" demand
ed the widow from the end of the
veranda as the deacon danced around
and firted bis smarting fingers in the
air.
BLAST the blamed hog!'' was shouted
in reply.
"Why, Deacon Stillwell!'
IL Ii. Il bic
blamed back before 1 get through with
him.
There was another chase after the
hog. The porker took turn around
the front yard, doing all the damage
he could to the flower beds, and as the
deacon pursued him half q dozen peo-
pie were looking on and commenting.
He knew 1t, but he continued the race.
What will not a man do to get even
with a hog? When both had reached
the potato vines again there was n
tremendous effort ON the deacon's part
10 finish the tragedy out of hand. He
set his jaw, drew long breath and
struck with all his might The hog
wasn't there, and the deacon fell among
the vines and rolled over. Confused
as he was he heard the widow chuckle.
and then and there he vowed that she
should never be his wife. When he
rose up he felt the strength of giant
and the fleetness of a race horse. He
took the trail of the hog and ran it SO
close that the porker had to make
rush up the steps of the veranda to
save his bacon.
If the widow had stood still he would
have passed her, but, of course, she
jumped around and got in his way, and
he made a dive at her feet and brought
her down. While she lay screaming
the deacon was coming to the rescue.
He leaped up on the veranda just as
the hog had decided to take the back
track, and there was another collision
and another human being thrown
down. Six neighbors were on hand
before the two people had arisen, and
the hog had disappeared through the