Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-05-13
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

Tin this column will h. answered all questions
quirers should write on one side Of the paper only
and address their letters to Uncle Jasper, Star
ofhce In ease OF iificnIt conlndrums answers may
be delayed for a week two. Consequently II
may be advisable for all questioners to watch this
column carefully,
SMITHS the William Sulzer OF New
York whom 1 heard mentioned In conuec-
ton with the ST. Elizabeth's inquiry an ex-
patient OF the insane asylum. or inmate
at the present timer A-You were getting
warm. Smith. Why didn't you keep on? He
is a member of Congress.
CITIzEN.-Is 1t true that Mrs Minor Nor
ris who was thrown out OF the White
House. has a brother in Congress-? Alt
Is; Representative Derellct Of Iowa is the
man. Don't throw that brick: we have a
family to support)
1. x L.-What sort of costume IS most
popular on the Isthmus OF Panama. A
mo we've never been there we understand
that birthday suits are generally worn. The
police regulations are very lax, you know.
tRlZ.-Do You know whether the woman
VINO Jumped Off the Brooklyn bridge the
other day was an Esquimau? A-Alaska:
that is. If ever see The lady. On. slnsh'
We can't just help It,
HOUsEHOLDER.-My cook when melting
a potato wastes half of it. Is there any
machine that VIII do the work economically9
Airy safety razor. Your cook will fan
on your neck and weep.
VET.-PIease tell me q. scientific and ac-
curate method OF determining the age OF 4
horse. A.-Surs. Higher mathematics Is
our long suit. Divide the number of hairs
IN the animals tail by the number of teeth
In his head. subtract from this the number
OF hairs in his name. multiply by six add
his left ear. divide by the of forefoot ana
You have the answer-twenty-three.
ENTHUSIAST am studying the auto
mobile, Uncle Jasper. What is the sparkling
plug? A.-Shucks. Young folks weren't 50
ignorant In my day. Didn't you ever sit
on one and hold hands2
LABoRATORY.-wha is the difference
between H2O and H2O2? Aust the diff
ference between a clean face and blonde
hair We haven't forgotten all our chemis-
try as yet.
MORTIFIED was invited out to din
ner the other night and found my hostess
with another lady and three men. What
sort of an arrangement was that? A-ThBt
was known as a poker dlnner-two queens
anu III cO JeiShS. we SuSpiClOu you MCIt lAlc
discard.
ECONOMICAI.-Dear Uncle Jasper, do
you consider 1t much of a saving to buy
know. We have never tried it. We never
expect to try 1t. We resent the inquiry.
We are not cenupede.
D. C.-When Barnes is confirmed will II
be done in the usual manner? A.-Oh. dear,
no. Whtewash will be used instead of oil.
It's so much more fashionable nowadays.
GWENDOLYNE.-Dear Uncle Jasper, I
am employed In a candy store at $3.50 a
week. A bank president wants to marry
me. but I am of the opinion that money
does not buy happiness. What shall l do2
A.--See a doctor, grille. You're in bad
way.
E. 2. MI have accepted an invitation TO
attend a bridge whist party tomorrow aft
ernoon. What shall I wear? A large
bunch of Cassie Chadwick securities and
a safety pin through your change pocket
would help some. Take this advice and
you'll thank US with tears in your eyes in
years to come.
KNOWLES.-I understand the Riggs Ma
tional Bank is contemplating moving into
more commodious quarters. Is this trueY
A.--Well! Well Well! We are surprised!
We weren't aware that anybody knew where
we kept our bank account.
REGRET-Why Is not Gen. Grosvenor
coming back to Congress next time? A
Gen. Grosvenor had the habit for twenty
years. He took many remedies, without
avail until somebody recommended Piukcr-
toms Plutesence Of Fortified Prunes. Six
bottles did the trick, and Mr.. Grosvenor Is
now well man. One dollar bottle; all
druggists.-Adyt.
G. H. LIS It true that clean streets make
for higher morals? A.-Certainly. We
never understood this until we saw a man
step on a banana peel and heard what he
said. The explanation was very fluent.
UNCLE JASPER.