davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11
As the Mayors Special Policeman, He
Has Trouble with Politicians and
Decides to Return to His Old Beat,

Copyright by the Century Coz
copyright, 1906, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
There do be three grades iy
lfars," said Policeman Flynn, in a
burst of confidence, to his wife.
ITO which iv thin do We belong,
Barney?" she inquired, solicitously.
"G'wan, now!' retorted Policeman
Flynn. Yell be provokin' me to thry
TO sell ye to a comic pa-aper, ye will
that. II is no joke I'm tellin' ye.
There do be three grades iv liars in
this world. First ye have tn COM
mon liar, an t is easy carin' FIR him.
Mkt We have tn artistic liar, who can
.dhress lie up to ray-simble tn truth,
so S ye have to look f'r tn sthraw-
berry ma-ark On tn lift arm to tell
which is tn other. An thin ye have
tn politician, tn gr-reatest liar iv
thin ALL"
Policeman Flynn shook his head
solemnly as he gave expression to this
great truth. He had had experience
and he knew whereof he spoke. He
had been the mayors special police
man for two weeks.
9Th common liar" he went on, stlies
f'r tn fun iv it, tn artistic liar lies
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11

r. purpose, an tn politician lies
because t is his nature to. Poor felly!
he do be- built that wa-ay.
''I wa-ant to see his nibs,' says tn
politician to me, doin' tn rush act an
thryin' to go by me.
"'Ye cannot says /.
"'I'N have ye-er ba-adge,' says he.
Me cousin was schoolmate w his
nibs, an I do be bringin' him news
he'll be gla-ad to have. Yell see
him fa-all on me neck tn minute he
sees me-
$50 I lets the gazabo in, but does his
nibs fa-all on his neck? Ohio! well,
If he does, it do be with an ak, an me
own neck feels tn whir iv tn wind"
SERVES We right" commented
Mrs. Flynn. Eye have no sinse at all,
Barney. IT is ye-er July to do what
ye re told an Fave others to do tn
thinkin'."
Listen to that, now" exclaimed
Policeman Flynn. *'Oho! but ye're
sma art woman. That's what his nibs
says to me. DO as We re told, Bar
ney,' he says, an Pave me to do tn
thinKin' FIR tn Office. That ma-an
c'u'd MT get. ye-er ba-adge in a mill
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11
FEATURES OF THE THREE BIG BILLS
BEEF :

FIRST INsPECT1ON-Befor any cat
tie, sheep. swine, or goats are taken into
any establishment for Strengthening and
preparation for market they must be- en-
amined while alive for any signs Of dis
ease. and If such are found they are to
be slaughtered separately and the car
cases given special examination. i: {
!. TAGs-All carcasses are to be careful
~ inspected and if sound, healthful,> and
TIT for human food will be tagged, .'in-
tagged inspected and condemned z { and
In the latter case must be destroyed in the
presence of the government inspector. p :
SECOND INSPECTION AFTER this first
inspection another inspection of =carcasses
or parts OF carcasses may be had to see If
the meat has become unfit for human
food since the first inspection: II s5& ~. y.
=. THIRD 1NSPECTION-An /. inspection
must also be made Of all meat food prod
ucts, and this. inspection will follow the
product into the can, pot, canvas, or other
receptacle into which the same is: put Furl-}
til the same fszsealed. u
LABELS ON CANS-Any meat or meat.
food products put into cam pot, canvas
or other receptacle,% must HAYES label at
tached Ito it under the supervision fSEa3
government ainspec tor, ,wlic shall state
the contents. . .sa
81 SANITARY REQUIREMENTS es-
5tabA shments which prepare meat FOR. In
terstate or foreign commerce. must be- In
Nspected5 by@sexpertss# SAM tary5 S inspectors,
and kept in@perf ectS SAM aIy scondi tionS ac-5
5cording5 rules and NreEulat lions provided
by thoA m
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11
GT%EE
BT77EERfBfT FLoNER'F

He carries two wa-ards in his in
side pocket says his nibs.
'Mebbe,' says I, that's what spoils
tn fit iv his coat
*Niver tur-run down a ma-an like
that, says his nibs, payin' no attintion
to me little joke.
"'How'll tell thin apa-art?' says I.
use ye-er head says his nibs.
81 thought says I, we tol' me ye
d do tn thinkin' fr this Office ye-er-
silf; an besides,' says, I niver took
a coorse in mind-r-readin'; t. was
overlooked
"An' there re are" continued Po-
lceman Flynn. ION me Of beat had
to deal with tn common liars an tn
artistic liars, but tn politicians was
out w it. Now t is only tn politi-
clans, an w'ud MT thrust wan ~
thin to tell his own na-ame. D. ye
know, If wan " thin liver come to me
an said, I m afther job from his
nibs,' d faint away, l w'u'd so. Tn
shock Nv 1pdin' so much honesty In
wan lump among tn gazabos that
come to tn city hall w'u'd near kill
me. But t is not their wa-ay
"'I must see him. says wan. I'm
his family docther.'
where's ye-er tool-chist?' says (,
KNOWN docther always carries wan
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11

lion years, but I can ha-ave it amy
day r-reach f'r it, An t. w'u'ud be
all fright, only his nibs do be poll
tician, too"
"Take him Ut his wor-rd, anyhow"
advised Mrs. Flynn.
Il did so,' returned Policeman
Flynn, IAN FIR two da-ays me ba-adge
was like to dhrop off me coat, it hung
so loose. IT was all along iv another
politician.
"'I'll be afther SEEM tn may'r,' he
says, important-like.
eye III not, says I.
eye don't recognize me- says he.
at do not says I.
"'Me fa-ace sh'u'd be familiar to ye,'
says he.
"'Mebbe t w'u'd be- says I. If I'd
lukked in tn r-rogues' galr'ry "
late
with that his nibs, hearin' voices,
comes out an gra-abs tn felly be tn
hand an takes him in an threats him
like he was tn only fri'nd he had in
tn world. An when tn fell'ys
gone, his nibs comes to me, an says,
Don't We know him?
'"'i do not, says 7.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11
RAILROAD RATES.

6 GENERAL PROVISIONS-Th railroad
rate bill requires all interstate carriers to
make through routes unreasonable joint
i rates. 1t makes oil pipe line companies,
express companies, and sleeping car COM
panies common carriers and subject to
the law. Railways are forbidden from en-
gaging in any other business than trans
portation. Pipe lines are excluded from
this prohibition.
X PRIVATE CARS-Whi1e permitting rail-
ways to use private freight cars, it re-
Squires that all incidental charges arising
Il from refrigerating and other services be
incorporated in the transportation charge.
PUBLIC RATES-It requires publica-:
ton of all rates, fares, or charges, and
forbids changes save on 30 days notice.
Jurisdiction is conferred upon the inter-
state commerce commission to hear COM
plants of unjust and unreasonable rates,
4 and to fix rates that are Just and reason
4 able b s*.S. Hi %%y:*<s 2>- = :,
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES and other discrim-
@fnatOry practices are forbidden and sub
Hject to penalties. ~. j = S ISL $E5s.=:-. *
COURT REVIEW-A limited review or
orders *Or requirements Of the commits
sion may be made by the courts but no
injunction, interlocutory order, or decree
Ssuspending or restraining the enforcement
#pf an order of the commission shall be
granted except after not less than five
days notice.
s}..fr P'ASsEs.-Fre ansportatio IS
.sssI The interstate commend commission Is
alton Id fixed AZ $10, 900 3nullally IS
.aA
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11
PURE FOOD.

GENERAL PROVISIONS-The, pure
food law prohibits the manufacture, sale.
delivery for shipment, or introduction into
any state or territory or the District ar
Columbia Of adulterated, misbranded.
poisonous, or deleterious food. #druRs
medicines, or liquors and imposes a nenal-
ty for. any violation of the law ; It pro-
vides Tor making rules and regulations for
executing the provisions Of the act. re.
curing an examination of specimens &c
foods and drugs and il the law be vio-
lated the 81 offender will be proceeded
against without delay in the courts -
.ADULTERATIoNs - II E. drugs II difrer
from standards in strength, quality, or
purity, which are fixed In the National
: FormulaT hey will be held to be adult
Grated. $ Confectionery will be declared
adulterated If It contain any Ingredient or
coloring matter deleterious or detrimental
to heal .s7%t / - 7. -.
REPRESENTATIVES. nav
be applied externally|:w when directions for
their removal are printed on the package.
#%LABELs-Drugso or foods will. Be deemed
misbranded If falsely described by tfeiI.
labels. 5 Drugs In packages must bear "a
+ statement on the labels Of tx ! quantity az
Sproportio Ion Hof ale iol, morrx vine, opium.
cocatne,H or 8herOfn alpha or la.ta1cocaine.
;chloroform, canabis ::indica, floral nv.
drsete, or any deriYa tive III Thereof. The
word cOmp0u :, ton, I, OF
lend must appear on i mixed liquors,
and #Only Harmless oloring or fiaVoring
edtents scan#be used. False Labelling
of* foodssorSdrugs imported into the United
tatsa4 llspraKant adnissiQp
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11

wdowerhood
love match
railway
the discussion
visitor diplomatic
the
lions have been shoWered
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11


literally
him
speakershp
a
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11


chosen by his secretary When
into the and Uncle that he could not have Buy
gave Mr. Rusbsy knowledge public men and affairs that proved
public more than that he keen reader character and natural
they must come against Bushey and the abe to
enough bring to the atters Nine % ten Bqsy
the held in the there are hardly two
Mr. Busbey and Of Mr. Kinds the latter being clerk to- the
other officer The
Of these able indi-
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11

Wn1Ie UnCIe joe mas been much IN the Hme-
light and the public has been engaged with his
accomplishments and wondering how he could
get through with so much work and handle 1856
members of the house with so little friction
those who are acquainted with the inner workings
of congressional life know that the speaker owes
much of his success and great deal of his good
health to the work and socitude of his secretary
L. White Busbey Those who know from the in
side the careers of public men are aware of how
much the latter owe to their private and conf
Dental secretaries The secretary to the presi-
dent make the latter popular unpopular.
The is true of the secretary to the speaker
of the house of representatives.
Mr.. Busbey who had been in Journalism for a
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11

"'He told me to CALL says an
other.
can he tol' me to lay r. 70 whin
ye come, says I.
"Oho! I'm good at re-partee, but t
is like to get me into throuble, fr tn
wan I turn down tn ha-ardest is al
ways tn only wan I ought to have
passed in. Some iv thin come livery
da-ay an wait an wait an wait, an
they gra-ab fellies goin' in an comm
out, an thry to get their infloo'nce
I'd be sorry f'r thin if it was Mt f'r
wan thing"
whats that?' asked Mrs. Flynn.
''Why don't they work. f'r livin'
instead iv worrkin' FIR job? IT is
less disappointin', an no ha-arder
whin ye get used to it. But tn job S
too much FIR me. I'm goin' back on
tn beat again.
''F'r Why?" asked Mrs. Flynn.
''Well, t was this wa-ay," explained
Policeman Flynn. "I'd been scr-rap-
pin with tin or ilivin fellies that
wa-anted to see his nibs whin his
nibs did Mt wa-ant to see thin, an
along comes little gazabo that S so
thin an pale ye'd think he'd blow
away. But, f'r all that, he carries
himself in soo-pear-yer wa-ay, an me
feelin' Wrong anyhow.
"'I ray-ceived wor-rd,' says he, that
somebody wants to see me here
"''T is likely So says I, with sa-ar-
casm, f'r that's tn Oh gag.
"'1 think t is tn may'r,' says he,
although tn world brought me was
not plain on that
81 think t is nct,' says I. I think,
from tn looks " ye, that tn ma-an
who wants We Is in tn corner Office
on tn floor below
with that ne goes away, and whin
he comes back he tur-runs out to be
wan iv the biggest taxpayers in tn
city, an a ma-an that livery wan
jumps r-round fr; an back I go on
tn beat again. But It. is me oil chop
house beat, thank Hiven! Ohio! but
mebbe he wasn't mad!"
Where was it ye sent him, Bar
ney?"
why" replied Policeman Flynn,
nonchalantly, II STAT tn little blood
less divil to tn coroner's Office, to be
sure"
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11

washington has not been excited over any
thing for long time it is over the approach
ing marriage of Senator Winthrop Murray Crane,
OF Massachusetts,, and Miss Josephine Boardman,
one of the social favortes at the national capital
The recent announcement of their engagement
was one of the most pleasant surprises official So
rank with the "Nick' Longworth and Alice Roose-
welt engagement as matter Of official and public
interest and pleasant public comment. Miss
Boardman is one of the most refined and intel
lectual members of Washington society besides one
OF the most beautiful and attractive. She is a
member OF a wealthy family that came here from
Ohio. but her ancestors were New England peo-
pie, like Senator Crane.
Senator Crane had long been regarded as
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11

One of the wonderful things about this very
Industrious session is that the unusual work OF
the house was inspired and directed by man 70
years of age. Speaker Joseph G. Cannon celebrated
goth birthday on the seventh day of last May,
but he has been the great controlling spirit in
the accomplishment of business in the house.
While he has not been some of his dis
appointed opponents inclined to CHARGE he
has looked into every bit of legislation that has
passed and has consulted with all his committee
chairmen regarding the measures before them and
he has been appealed to- as the one man above all
others who had the greatest influence in legisla-
ton. There is great power lodged in the hands of
the speaker by the rules of the house and its
equitable exercise requires man of strong char
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11
When Their auto Baked.

Robert Lee Morrell, chairman of the
Automobile association, started out for
spin in his autompbile the other day,
and everything worked finely until he
reached Broadway and Seventy-Second
street. Then the machine baked, and
no efforts on his part could induce it
to go.
He worked away until he was rapid
ly getting into state that he felt could
only be relieved by strong language,
but the presence OF group of children
made him refrain from expressing him.
self. In the group was little girl with
long golden hair and deep blue eyes.
She crowded close to the automobile
owner as he worked. Finally he became
so exasperated that it seemed as if he
really must say something, and, turning
to the little miss, he said:
II wish you would run away. little
girl. There's few things I'd like to
say"
go right ahead" said the child.
! Don't mind me. My papa has an auto.
too."-Boston Post,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11


of the
in
which LASTED unit the
were more committee
talk"
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11
Gossip of Washington
Both House and Senate Bucd Down Work the Session Just
CosedSecreta Bu.by Great Aid to Speaker Caon-Senator
Crane Of Massachusetts Soon to Be Married.

WASHINGTON.-The session of congress that
has just ended eclpsed anything in the history of
that body in the amount Of debate held In various
subjects. No previous session of congress ever
produced as many words for sthe Congressional
Record" although many of them lasted three
months longer than this one In no previous con-
gress did the house and senate buckle down to
work so assiduously as they have done since last
December. There were very few idle days since
the session began on the first Monday of last De-
cember and the unusual spectacle of night sessions
messed.
Ordinarily congress does not get down to real
hard work in the long session for two or three
months 1t is usually the custom for both houses
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1906-07-11
THE CONSUL aENERAL,Ar LONDON.

- Hon Robert J. Wynne, United States consul
general at London, has finally returned to his
post in the hope that he may be allowed to spend
some little time there If it is only to learn the
routine OF his duties Bob" as he is known to
nearly everybody in Washington, was appointed
consul general to- London Is months ago and he
has only been allowed to spend five Of those
nine times, that is, he has made four round trips
and is now again on the other side. He has been
q witness in what are known as the post Office
cases which arose under: his administration as
postmaster general and first assistant postmaster
general He has been called back to attend every
one Of. the hearings and this has u1ed up ten:
months Of his official time as consul seneral. u
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1906-06-29
NO MAN Is STRONGER THAN
HIS STOMACH.

Let the greatest athlete have dyspepsia
and his muscles would soon fail. Physi-
cal strength Is derived from food. II q
man has insufficient food he loses strength.
" verified tie into nutrition through the stom-
ach and bowels. It depends on the
strength of the stomach to what extent
food eaten Is digeSted and aSsimilated.
People can die of starvation who have
abundant food to eat, when the stomach
and its associate organs OF digestion and
nutrition 40 not perform rna,9, then ;+ d!uey.
gan of the body. If the stomach is weak"
the body will be weak also, because it is
upon the stomach the body relies for its
strength, And as the body considered as
whole, is made up of its several mem
bers and organs. so the weakness OF the
body as a consequence of "weak" stom-
ach will be distributed among the or
body is weak because it Is ill-nourished
that physical weakness will be found in
all the organs-heart, liver, kidneys, etc.
The liver will be torpid and inactive,
giving rise to biliousness, loss OF appetite,
weak nerves, feeble or irregular action OF
heart, palpitation, dizziness, headache,
backache and kindred disturbances and
weaknesses.
Mr.. Louis Pare. Of Quebec. writes: sForr
| years after my health began to fall. my head
dizzy Eyes Dan ma me and my
would eat would seem TO lie heavy like lead l q
| it was sympathetic trouble due to dyspepsia,
and prescribed for me. and although took
| their powders regularly yet felt no better
My wife advised me to try DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery-and stop taking the doc,
we soon found that began to improve, so
kept up the treatment. took on. flesh. my
stomach became normal, the digestive organs
l nd I haran tn look
| like a different person. I can never cease t.
| be grateful for what your medicine has done
for me and / certainly give 1t highest praise
Don't be wheedled by a penny bbine
dealer into taking inferior substitutes fol
DIR. Pierce's medicines, recommended X
be ejust as good
To gain knowledge of your own body
in sickness and health-send for the Peo
pies Common Sense Medical Adviser.
\ book of 1908 pages. Send 81 one cen
stamps for paper-cpvered, or 81 stamp
for cloth-bound copy. Address DIR. R. v
Pierce, 663 Main Street. Buffalo, N. Y.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1906-06-29
BIG ELEVATORS BURNED.
Fierce Blaze at Chicago Causes Dam
age Of $3.50, ooo-Many Fam
1 lilies Driven Out.

Chicago Juns 25.-The Mabbatt ele.
Eators A and B, Archer avenue az d
Wosd street, owned by George "a
seaverps and occupied by ]. s. Tem.
pleton, grain broker, which hadJss. ca.
pantty Of 100000 bushels, were de-
stroyed by fire., The buildings twere
both four-story frame structnressan
60,OeO bushels OF oats and 10000 bush.
els Of wheat were in the bins. So
great was the heat from the fireathat
three other buildings took hrea and
were destroyed.
Twenty-Five families We're driven
from their homes near, the eburnine
building by the intense heat. Bucket
brigades were organized and more
than 20 smaller fires caused by the
intense heat, which ignited roofs OF
buildings. were extinguished in this
manner.
The loss to the elevators and their
contents is estimated at $350,O0O. while
damage of $4,000 was done to sur
rounding property. This was the sec
ond great elevator fire in Chicago
within a month.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1906-06-29
GREEN AND D0REMUS FREED
FOUND NOT GUILTY OF CON-
sPIRACY AND BRIBERY.
Were Charged with Entering Into
COMPACT to Defraud Postal
Department.

Washington, June 25.-The Jury
bund Green and Doremus not guilty
on both the charges of conspiracy and
bribery.
The jury came in at 1;5o p. m. From
Ehe1start it stood II to for ACQUITTED.
the one man holding out for the r,ur.
pose of obtaining certain explorations
regarding the evidence. Cgurt ad.
journed Immediately afI.r which
Messrs. Green and DYIsmus wer,
warmly congratulated, Neither MT
Green nor District Attorney Bake,
would make any settlement. There is
one more case against Green, but the
Int ention of the government regarding
lti is not known,
The acquittalsof former state Soma.
tor George e. Green, Of New York
land William D. Doremus, of this, city
marks the cligaax Of trial that has
consumed four weeks in the district
sureme court They were tried under
indictments soharging conspiracy and
bribery in 5connection with the sale
OF stamp cancelling machines to the
government for the postal service,
These Wareftthe only charges against
the defendant Doremus. Mr.. Green
was tried some time ago on charges OF
conspiracy in connection with the
sale Of time recorders to the post Of
ice department. and was acquitted,
The charges under which Messrs.
Green and Doremus were tried. and Of
which they were found not guilty, were
based on allegations that they entered
into conspiracy with George W. Beav-
ers, former chief of tte division of SAL
aries and allowances in the post ofice
department by which, they agreed to
! pay him $26 for eacll caneclling ma
chine manufactured by the Doremus
Machine company anil sold to the gov
eminent for the post Office department
through the procuren lent OF Beaver.
Inc trial was begun four weeks ago,
and vast amount d Testimony was
introduced by the government. The
evidence Of the defer Use was put in
In two and. half days. A large num-
Der of witnesses were called on be-
half Of the defendant Green, includ-
ing justices Of the sup .eme court Of
the state of New Yoaak who testified
TO his high character, He had been
mayor Of Binghamton, ahis home town,
canal commissioner a, Id state senator.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1906-06-29

tneTe IS no need worrying along il
discomfort because OF q dlsordered di
g 2s Get q bottle. of KODOL
fOE DYSPEPSIA, ard see what il
VIII 40 Tor you. Ko5ol not only di.
gest what you ea'6 and gives that
Ilreo sJomach Needed rest, but is a
corrective OF the greatest efficiency.
koool relieves indigestion, dyspepsia,
pa!pltat1on OF the heart, fatulence,
ana sour stomach. Kodol will make
your stomach young and healthy
again. You will worry just in the
proportion that your stomach worries
you. Worry means the loss of ability
70 40 your best. Worry is to be avoid
60 at all times. Kodol will take the
worry out Of your stomach. Sold BY
j. 81. Luers Drug 90. ~
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1906-06-29
I,,. nn.n.d 70 Woodward.
standard oil Inquiry.

County Attorney Jesse Miller has
ius vt concluded an investigation OF the
allie xed violation of the new antt-dis-
Grim Ination law by the Standard OIL
In n es Moines. He has received In
forma ton that the same quality OF
iii I'll wa..s being sold at different prices
in diffe. vent towns in Polk county and
in FAST ana West Des Moines. y
investiga ted the report thoroughly,.
said Mr.. Miller, "bat was unable to
secure evidence which would warrant
nv bringih,s action. ! shall take up
the matte s,gain later in the year."
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1906-06-29
Something uron o.

You haven't got the toothache,,
SAD the mental GU hst. You only
think you have"
On, you think My think / have,
40 you?" howled the sufferer well,
while I'm at it, til fink you have an
otner think coming / Chicago
Daily News.