Waterbury evening Democrat., 1906-11-16

The knowledge came to me tonight. II
 meant that I turned away from his
 weakness because deep within myself
 something stirred in recognition of it.
 Humanity A really much simpler than
 we like to think, and human impulses
 have an extraordinary fundamental
 connection. Weakness Is egotism, but
 70 is strength. Chilcote has followed
 hds vice; I have followed my ambition.
 It will take higher judgment than
 yours or mine to say which of us has
 been the more selflsh man." He paus-
 cd and looked at her.
 She was watching him intently.
 Some of the meaning in his face had
 found . pained, alarmed reflection in
 her own. But the awe and wonder of
 the mornings discovery still colored
 her mind too vividly to allow of other
 considerations possessing their proper
 value. The thrill of exultation with which the misgivings born of Chilcote's vice had dropped away from her men tai image of Loder was still too absorb ing to be easily dominated. She loved, and as if by a miracle her love had
 been justified! For the moment the
 justification was all sufflcing, Some thing of confidence, something of the innocence that comes not from igno- rance of evil, but from mind singu- larly uncontaminated, blinded her to <ho NorUn,r <~P hor y,cstti0n
 Loder, waiting apprehensively for some aid, some expression of opinion, became gradually conscious of this lack of realization. Moved by fresh impulse, he crossed the small space that divided them and caught her hands.
 Eve" he said gently. T have been trying to analyze myself and give you the results, but shan't try any more. I shall be quite plain with you.
 From the first moment took your husbands place I was ambitious. You unconsciously aroused the feeling when you brought me Fraide's message on the first night You aroused it by your words, but more strongly, though more obscurely. by your underlying antago- nism. On that night, though did not know it, took up my position; made my determination. Do you know what that determination was?"
 She shook her head.
 Tt was the desire to stamp out Chil- cote's footmarks with my own, to, prove that personality is the great force capable of everything. forgot to reck- on that when we draw largely upon Fate she generally extorts crushing Il
 First came the wish for your re- spect, then the desire to stand well with such men as Fraide-to feel the stir of emulation and c0mpetition-to prove myself strong in the one career I knew myself fitted for. For a time the second ambition overshadowed the tirst, but tl.e first was bound to reas- sert itself, and in moment of egotism [ conceived the notion of winning your as we'll as your respect"
 Eyes face, alert and questioning, paled as doubt crossed her mind.
 ''Then it was only-only to stand we'll, with me?'
 'I believed 1t was only the desire to stand well with you. I believed it un- il the night of my speech-if you can 'redit anything so absurd. Then on that i night, as I came up the stairs to the gallery and saw you standing there, he blindness fell away, and I knew hat I loved you" As he said the last words he released her hands and turn d aside, missing the quick wave of oy and color that crossed her face.
 T knew 1t, but 1t made no difference.
 was only moved to a higher self glori- ication. I touched supremacy that light. But as we drove home I experi- need the strangest coincidence of my fife. You remember the block in the raf1c at PiccadillyY'
 Again Eve bent her head.
 "Well, when I looked out of the car 'iage window to discover It's cause the lrst man saw was-Chilcote." !
 Eve started slightly. This swift, un- ,xpected linking of Chilcote's name with the most exalted moment of her fife stirred her unpleasantly. Some of Loder's intention in so mixing 1t broke through the web of disturbed and conflicting thoughts.
 You saw him on that nightT
 "Yes, and the sight chilled me. It vas big drop from supremacy to tho of-everything."
 Involuntarily she put out her hand.
 But Loder shook his head. "No," he aid: "don't pity me, The sight of him anne just in time. had reaction in hat moment and, such as 1t was, cted on It. went to him next morn- ng and told him that the thing must nd But then-even then-I shirked eing honest with myself. I had meant , tell him that 1t must end because I ad grown to love you. but my pride ose up and tied my tongue. I could ot humIliate myself. put the case efore him in another light. It was ussle of wills. and I won. but the vic ,ry was not what 1t should have been. hat was proved today when he re- nrned to tell me of the loss of this elegram. It wasn't the fear that Lady strupp had found it. It wasn't to i've the position that I jumped at the hsnce of coming back. IL was to feel 1e joy of living. the joy of seeing you. only for a dayr For one second he lrned toward her: then as abruptly