davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
IN RETURN FOR PASSES

The Meade News makes this an
nouncement:
We are making list of all the peo-
pie in Meade county who ride on passes
and expect to publish this list together
with what these people do to get these
said passes. Watch for it,
Our short grass contemporary shows
commendable enterprise. This list will
doubtless be real news to the people of
Meade county-those Of them who do
not enjoy the pass privilege-at least.
But suppose a Topeka paper-the
State Journal. for ihstance-were to at
tempt something like that in Shawnee
county, what sort Of an explanation
could it make for the presence Of passes
in the pockets Of some very eminent
gentlemen? It would not wish to speak
right out in meeting and say that these
gentlemen sponge their travelling ex-
penses off the railroads. and it might
be somewhat embarrassing to them to
attempt explanations in detail as to
Just what they do to earn those passes.
Some passes can be explained with
out trouble For instance. Governor
Hoch's passes on the Rock Island and
Santa Fe might be accounted for on
the ground that the Marion Record does
advertising fer those roads. Some
hypercritical cynic may suggest that
the roads are paying rather high rates
for their advertising. but such sugges-
tions can be ignored.
But some other explanation would
have to be secured for the governors
Missouri Pacific and Frisco passes-or
doesn't he patronize those roads-and
as the State Journal has no explana-
tions handy just now that will At the
case. it declines to attempt any
Then Attorney General Coleman's
Rock Island pass can be accounted for
on the ground that Mr.. Coleman is a
Rock Island attorney. Whether he has
ever acted for the road since he has
been in office the State Journal does
not know. But this paper cannot SO
easily account for Mr.. Coleman's Santa
F'e and Missouri Pacific passes.
It would also have some Difficulty in
explaining. without bringing in some
embarrassing details. the passes utilized
by J. r. Burrow, 7. T. Kelly and others.
This paper has no desire to embarrass
anybody in this matter and it therefore
declines to emulate its short grass
friend, the Meade News. However. its
morning contemporary across the alley
has been making a special study OF the
pass question and 1t is somewhat inti-
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
.JAYHl UKER JOTS

A Sabetha princess. according to the
Herald, may join the Dunkard faith,
she looks like a dream in their bonnets.
According to the Union. Ed Cheatum
and Guy Ditto are the two new clerks
at Pratt, but there is nothing in name
for they are two first class young men.
Not 50 very many years ago land out
in Barton county was raw prairie open
to settlers for homesteads A few days
ago farm Of $50 acres near Clafin sold
for $19, 500.
Atehison has now been using natural
gas month. and lot OF Atchison peo-
pie are just contracting the habit of
walking chesty and Dragging about
their gas bills.
The Kiowa Signal tells a story about
a certain church that was very exclus-
i've. A poor man applied for member
ship and they didn't want him. They
hardly liked to turn him down. so re-
quested him to take it to the Lord in
prayer and come again. In about two
months he showed up. They asked him
If he had taken 1t to the Lord and he
said he had. They questioned as to
what reply. If any. he had received, and
he replied as follows: THE Lord told me
not to get discouraged. He said He
had been trying TO get into your church
for several years. but had not succeed
ed"
Doniphan county has been claiming
that DR.. Dinsmore, who is coroner up
there, holds the record for continuous
service as a county officer, q years, but
the Seneca Democrat disputes. 1t says
that County Surveyor Matthews, Of
Nemaha. county, was first elected in tho
fall Of 1871 and took his office the first
Monday in 1872 He was d@Seated once
during the Populist days, and once re-
signed and was out OF office three
months when he was reappointed. Once
in the days when the work of the office
was very heavy. he and another man
made an agreement under which the
latter was elected surveyor and took
charge of the office work while Mat
thevvs took charge of the field work.
Thus he has practically been a county
surveyor for thirty-two years.
1t is generally known. of course. that
the town of Baileyville gets its name
from the family OF Ex-Governor Bailey.
but just how 1t happened is told by
the Troy Chief as follows. Two
brothers named Ham were the first to
locate on the spot. They came TO the
place in 1873 and began putting up hay
and shipping it to the St. Joseph market
on the St. J. & G. R. R.. which ran past
their farm. The railroad in short time
built a switch at this point and then
the station was called Hay Switch.
Monroe Bailey. the father of w J.
Bailey. sold a farm in Illinois and
moved to Hay Switch in the summer
Of 1879 He bought go acres adjoining
the Ham farm on the present site OF
the town. The ex-governor, then
voune man. drove team all of the
wav from his home in Illinois. After
living at Hay Switch a short time,
through his own efforts he secured a
postoffice for the place. At that time,
the name Of Hay Switch was changed
to Baileyville.'
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
QUAKER REFLECTIONS

TFron the Philadelphia Press-1
Figures don't lie, but there are lay hs-
ures
He who hesitates isn't necessarily lost
unless he is found out.
A girl is really in love with a man when
she gives him as much thought as she
gives her clothes.
When a man starts to tell you about
having been to the races ten to one he's
leading up to a touch
show man that you have some regard
for his good opinion of himself and he is
your friend for life
Half the sting of disappointment is ta-
ken away II you can keep other people
from knowing you are disappointed.
The fellow who is afraid to think for
himself generally makes a poor selection
in choosing other people to think for him.
Wigg-'' -''Boreum tells q rather good
story, don't you think so7 WaEg-'sFVelh
It sounds good the first time you hear it.
SilIicus-'Say what you VIII, marriage
has its good points, CyTicus-'sYes, I
suppose It keeps a man from broodins
over his other troubles.
Now any man can sit upon
A jury with due fitness.
You'd have to be lawyer II
You'd sit upon q witness.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
oueer Capers of a Locomoeive.

Lehigh Valley freight engine No. 555
was wrecked by a remarkable series Of
accidents after running away from Ha-
zie creek bridge to below Weatherly,
Pa. Near the Halle creek bridge the
engine Jumped the track on the heavy
down grade Engineer Mcconnell and
his fireman Ieaped OF to make an ex-
animation, and while they were doing
so the engine started down grade over
the ties, humping along at such speed
that the trainmen could not overtake
it.
Half a mile down the grade, at the
Weatherly crossing. where there are
guard rails and heavy planks, the en-
CINE took the rails again and with
greatly Increased speed sped on down
through the town of Rveatherly. When
the sharp curve at Black Creek juno
ton was reached No. 555 with a last
mad leap left the tracks there and
plunged head first into the ereek.-Ex-
change.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
some Advantages in Being Dead.

Some Advantages in Being Dead.
Colonel Henry Watterson tells OF the
astonishment and chagrin with which
a. Certain well known citizen of Lgoufs-
vile. named Jenkins. read a long obih-
uary Of himself printed in q morning
paper of that city. He at once pro-
ceeded to the editorial Office of the pa
per, and. after much dif6culty, sue
ceeded IN obtaining audience Of the
busy editor. Laying a copy OF the pa
per before him he observed IN a mild.
almost humble way, that he had come
to see If the city editor could "tell''
him anything about it.
With snort of innpatience the busy
editor grasped the paper and hastily
read the article 1T appears to be an
obituary Of one Jenkins he growled.
: W hat IS there to tell about it2 Wh9t
IS the matter with you, anyhow -
oh, nothing especially" responded
the mild Jenkins. .'only thought I'd
like to know how the obituary came to
be printed-thatss ALL
Came to be printedt'' repeated the
editor, in irritated tones: s'wl1y. the
man died, of course. Ny paper doesn't
print obituary notices of living men,
Perhaps not, as a rule" gently re-
Piled the visitor. but in this case I
happen to be the jenkins referred to-
Thereupon the city editor bezda
profuse apology. wen print cor
rection at once he said.
Well, after ALL observed the mild
] Jenkins, perhaps 'twould be better 20
let It stand; I'll show it to my friends
when they try to borrow money OF
ME. .'--Exchange.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
Wanted F,u..ther orders.

Senator Tillman was accusing a po-
litical leader Of overbearing, arbitrary
methods
He goes too far" said the senator.
HE is like the militia captain they
used to have in Concord.
This man came to Concord with a
war record and got a captains ap-
pointment in the militia.
He was a martinez. The first day he
reviewed his company he examined ev-
cry hair on their heads. every button
on their coats. 1t was an ordeal for
them.
ION the whole the captain was pleas
ed with his inspection. One thing dis
satisfied him, though. His men all had
clean shaven upper lips Some had
sidewhiskers, some had mutton chops.
some had goatees. some had patriotic
chin boards. There WIS not one who
had a mustache.
THE captain complimented his COM
pany in a short speech, and concluded
by saying:
:. only one thing is lacking to make
a crack, martial-looking company Of
you-mustaches, want every man
Jack of you to raise nustache.'
AT this order the men looked at one
another, and a young farmer, stepping
out from the ranks, saluted and said:
e What color will you have them,
sir? p Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rrron, the Atohison Globe.l


r~oa average scent cigar is poor enough
to make man quit smoking
Tf farmers wives were ever slaves
chickens are emancipating them
Occasionally you may see man .,. so gooa
that he will carry a bandbox on pne street.
ANY 1oafer is bad, but when he needs a
cigarette to help him, he becomes nope
The average little girl believes she is
brave when she can handle fish worms
without screaming
About all some people get out of an edu-
cation Is to call their acqualhlanees o0"il
on pronunciations.
Another good thing about being q man:
He isn't expected to read the descriptions
Of the brides wedding gown
The slot machine must GO reformer
announces The men keep them going
most Of the time. by playing them.
To the credit of the men it might be
said that you hear OF a good stepfather
oftener than you hear OF good step
mother
when Mrs. Lysander John Appleton has a
notion that church workers have their
palms read.
when a storekeeper abuses a farmer he
always begins by saying He buys his
goods of Montgomery Ward or OF Sears
Roebuck Co
When farmer comes to. town on dry
rattles on the brick pavement when his
horses trot?
We suppose among the chickens that
hatch out in the old way an Incubator and
a brooder are designated as the Orphans
Home"
Perhaps you have noticed that children
are more willing to work for the neigh
bors than at home. Also that some of
them never outgrow the habit.
This is told of an Atchison woman who
is a great crank about having all the fur
niture in each room match: Her husband
died and she asked her brothers to get q
casket of Light oak that would match the
furniture in the paTaoT. They were unable
to do So and 50 the coffin was put in the
dining room where the wood in it was a
perfect match for the woodwork. chairs
aEsd tables which were dark.
The women haven't used up all the com
binations Of letters in naming their clubs.
Occasionally the men appear IN connec-
ton with q string Of letters. but there is
usually a dash after each one.
That word funny being exclusively
applied OF late to the co1oxed sheet In &
Newspaper, no longer means anything
that will cause any one to laugh.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06

The man VINO thinks Of nothing but
making money may not be capab bic of
realizing that other people can think of
nobler purposes. Like the pig, with its
snout SO deep in the trough that its
eyes are buried in the slop, its human
prototype may also be unable to see
or think of anything in the world but
the one business of getting all that's
to be got. 1t is right and proper that
the pig should have no thought but
Tor It's stomach-it is made that way.
But with man it is different; to have a
pigs mind he must acquire it by killing
the best there is in MIN. By viii he
renounces manhood and debases himself
to the level of the animal. He spills
no blood, but he murders a man to
make a pig. 1t is the basest of suicides
and perhaps the commonest.-Rich
mond Journal.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
a pIsAPPOINTMENT

The result of this protracted struggle
to bring the beef packers to time is
most disappointing, and throws
mighty obstacle in the path of the gov
ernnent in its efforts to protect the
people from the extortions of a trust.
However, 1t is the purpose Of the attor-
ney general to prosecute the indicted
corporations until they realize the nee
essity of observing the law. While it
is realized that the imposition Of fines
on the corporations will not be as effec-
tive as the punishment of the Individual
officials, the lesson may not be wholly
without its advantages Toledo Blade.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06


Two Germans were on their way to
work, when one of them, Hans, observed
their countrynan. Schneider on the 9TH
er side OF the street. sweeping the walk
in front CT his saloon.
''Adolph," said Hans, pointing to the
saloon man, tyust look at Schneider
doing his own sweeping. BY golly, he
is der sHleanest und stingiest man vat
iss."
NOS retorted AdoIph, me is not SO
stingy as you think. He almost treated
me vonce
How do you make dot oud?" ques-
toned Hans. How could he almost
treated you vidoud doing it?''
"veil, dat happened dis way" said
Adolph 'svone cold morning dropped
into Schneider's place and sat me down
by der fire for a little varnness. und
Schneider vas cleaning der bar up. He
looked all der bottles from der shelves,
wiped dem clean, and sat dem on der
bar; den he toolzed der glasses und did
likewise; after dat he wiped der shelves
off, und put der clean bottles und glass
es back Ven dis work was finished he
looked over to me und says: Vel.
Adolph, vat are We going to have?' Und
yust as I vas going to say beer he
says, rain or snow? San Francisco
Chronicle.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
JOURNAL ENTRIES


A protest has been filed with this
department. against the very apparent
untruth contained Il statement on
this page yesterday which said "a
single farmer living Hs AZ lta Vista
marketed 115 dozen eggs in one day
recently The young woman who files
the protest-for of course it was a
wouan-insists that investigate Will
doubtless reveal that the young farm
er is not single and that he IS not only
married but also that his wife raised
the chickens and did all the work in
connection with marketing the eggs.
This department apologies for the
very manifest error in the item and
promises THAT It shall not occur again
until the next time.
The study of modern languages is
being more and more broadened in the
colleges. If some college wants to
make a big hit, however, it will estab-
lish q course that VIII enable US to
understand the language used by the
train porters in calling stations.
A Los Angeles minister has written
an open letter to the Democratic
Party There are some people who
believe the Democratic party has to
have an interpreter to understand a
preachers language.
Although Mr.. Pepper. who was a
candidate for something or other in
the Third ward of Abilene, is a Demo-
crat, he is not to be sneezed at.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
KAM.yAy CO44ENz
ARKANsAs pRIMARIFs.

ARKANSAS PRIMARIES.
A great deal of fun is made Of Ar
kansas but that state has some cleo
ton rules that Kansas would do well
TO copy. Every candidate, from Uni
ted States senator down. to road over
seer, Is nominated III a primary elec-
tton. A candidate is not allowed to
give away money, booze, cigars or
Anything that might influence voters
in his favor. An Arkansas primary
campaign is a bonanza for the printers
as printed matter OF all kinds is used
in great quantities. A. M. Ellsworth,
formerly of Emngham. but now of
Prescott, Ark, has sent a batch of
campaign matter to the Globe. A can
nidate for state superintendent of pub
lie instruction agrees ito follow the un-
written law Of Democracy of the or
iginal kind and will retire to the shades
Of private life at the end of his second
term" Another says his Democracy is
Of the pure Jefersonian type. Another
candidate, whose official actions have
been criticised by Nick Chiles, the ne
gro editor OF Topeka, in a circular,
states that Chiles would last in Ar
kansas about as long as SNOWFALL in
the bad place" A candidate for road
supervisor makes as big blow as any
Of the other candidates In comment
ing on the system Mr.. Ellsworth says
the Arkansas primary plan is away
ahead Of the Kansas caucus convention
plan.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

IFron the Chicago News1
A full moon is more attractive than 3
full man
It's easier for some men to acquire mon
ey than manners.
Every dog isn't bird dog. but every cat
Is bird cat.
Fortune telling is always fortunate for
the fortune teller.
Marriage is never a failure, but often
the contracting parties are
No, the starboard Of a steamer is not
reserved for star boarders-
Beauty is worse than liquor; It intoxi-
Gates both the holder and the beholder.
A man is not justified in taking an eye
opener because he is blindly IN love
The average man displays a lot OF en-
tl1l1siasnl when he gets a chance to talk
about his trouble.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
puRE.NNrA4,.

PERENNIAL.
Twas back in 1853
tit doesn't seem that Ionxo
That first interviewed Marie.
The peerless Queen Of Song.
w hen then ! spoke about her past
And swore she was the rage,
She smiled and said Il was her hast
Appearance on the stage.
Marie sang here the other night.
m quite rheumatic now
But stdn I donned a choker white
AND practiced up q. bow.
She knew me. and the tears came fast
She talked h half a page,
And finally said It was her last
Appearance on the stage.
Los Angeles Times
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
Did He Get Tt9

In rural Maine, when one has an
especially hard or disagreeable task to
perform, one calls in the neighbors. .
At such times the work performed is
done without money and without price,
except that the host must provide
abundant refreshments both nourish-
ing and Intoxicating. At such times the
winter supply of firewood is cut. the
timber felled and piled. the frames of
buildings raised. Often the host has
trouble to find the intoxicants, Mainc
being drouthy state.
This was. Clancy's dilemma when he
entered the city agency at Bangor.
Straight in front of him a sign hung
Liquor Sold for Use in Sickness or for
Mechanical Purposes Only"
81 want two gallons of old rum" he
announced.
The agent pointed wearily to the
sign.
been reading it.
Are you sick -
mo.
"Got a prescription p"
mo
What do you want it for2" queried
the agent.
Got to have it, replied Clancy,
cheerfully. for mechanical purposes.
I'm going to raise a barn Boston
Herald.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
aEFLEcnoNs OF A nAcnELoR
TFrorn the New York -

Everybody's head would be filled with
brains If they were no use to him.
Either It isn't hot enough in the cold
season or cold enough in the warm sea-
son.
To man spring brings tender thoughts
Of a fishing rod to woman Of a bon
net
nice thing about living in the suburbs
IS it never seems hard TO die when your
turn comes.
When a girl has a good figure It Is
sign sfie gets her bathing suit ready be,
fore the frost IS cut Of the gEound-
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
Into a society PiffaIl.

Modern society is full of pitfalls and
perils, as q certain smart young man
realized IN his sorrow the other day.
"Oh. I'm sure I'vesmet you BEFORE" he
declared to q pretty woman whose
name. OF course he had not caught.
ignoring the waning frown from a
friend he rushed on. why, of course
I used to see you around with Blank
Dash: now, didn't I2' And he smiled
triumphantly- Il can't deny it, she
returned sweetly. ssbut I couldn't help
it. I used to be married to him. New
York Sun.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06

Even Texas is going after the Stand
ard. Kansas started spectaculariy but
there was lack of honesty in the pur-
suit. The legislature enacted railroad
rates which started Independent re-
fneries. But Kansas has not licked
the Standard. It has not even held it
in subsection. Kansas must get in
line. The Standard is the worst enemy
of the government today. It must be
crushed--Lawrence- Journal.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
THE DEWEY -ANp STORING.

The drydock Dewey is now about to
pass through the straits Of Gibraltar,
and its influence upon the arid plains
OF northern Africa will be watched by
meteorological lsavants with considerable
interest. AS a breeder of bad weather
nothing has ever been known to come
within gunshot of the drydock Dewey
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
WILL BE ABLE TO GET ALONG.

It is reported that young Waldorf
Astor, who is about to wed, will be
given 100000 a year by his father, be-
sides a wedding gift of $4,000. BY
strict economy the couple ought to be
able to live in fat and keep at least
one servant on that amount, as we'll as
being able to have The washing done
outside of the house.-Troy Record.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
FINDING TROUBLE.

An Oakley young man now has
long and steady job staring him in the
face Last week, he with several
others. lifted" a box of depot whisky,
and after partaking of the contents
started out to round up the town. In
the course of the roundup he struck
one man with a gun, inficting an ugly
wound. and then took shot at the
marshal, striking him In the leg. Two
charges Of assault with intent to kill
are now laid UP against him. and he is
In Jail at Russell Springs awaiting
trial. Ordinarily a man does not have
to look long for trouble, but if he will
MI his hide fun Of booze and start out
in search Of it, it will come to him
doubly quick and doubly strong
HOxie Sentinel
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06

You will kindly note that the junior
senator from Wisconsin did not observe
Senatorial courtesy to the extent Of
waiting three or four years before try
ing to do something 81 service to his
country. And incidentaIEy ne got his
name into the headlines during his first
congressional session, which is another
breach Of senatorial etiauette
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06

Out al. McPherson where there has
Just been q tremendous revival. not a
woman voted in the recent election
What conclusions do the woman suf-
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06
BETTER FoR HIM

It viii cost a thousand dollars a
year hereafter to run a saloon in Ohio
Five thousand saloons will have to
quit business. The papers are making
a big fuss about the men who will
thus be thrown out of employment
The sooner a man is thrown out of
that kind of employment the better it
is for hin.-Jewell Republican
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06

'Of course you are a subscriber to
the z NJ. c. A. fund" says the Los
angeles Express. Now how did the
Express know. this soon what we are
doing in Topeka
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06

Mr.. Stubbs says the charge that he
took money from the state that he did
not earn as speaker rs so manffestly
false that it does not need answering. -
still. that doesn't explain why Mr..
stubbs drew pay for presiding over the
house for fifty days-including Sundays
when he really only presided on six
davs.
The Topeka state journal., 1906-04-06

Is the Farmers Cooperative Ship
ping association too big for the man
ayers to successfully carry out the CO.
operative theory? theoretically there
is no limit to the extent to which CO.
operation can be carried When It
comes to actual practice. cooperation
is limited by the ability and integrity
Of those who are MANAGING ii.