The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1906-03-01

sADE, IT ID a SWEETEST THING EVER
WRITTEN"
wanted anything of that sort. Most
that have written is obituary poetry,
and as you have not lost wife or chill
dren of course you have wanted moth.
ing of the kind"
IF you'd asked me about It," he cen
told you that | lost an uncle about
twenty years ago. 1t may be purity late
In the day. but If all the folks along
here are goin' in for obituary poetry
why shouldn't we? That's what the
old woman and the boys say, and that's
what l say. However. as you are SO
drefful busy with all the others
you shall have your poetry In ten
minutes" | interrupted. and | got
down from my cart and went 10 tn
horse with him.
1t was my first poem for two days
and | had to kick myself three or fouI
times to get my muse on the move, bur
when struck my gait | ratified off the
following like n barrel humping down
hill:
We mourn for him. poor Uncle Joe.
Whose fate was full of sadness.
Who took Il pittsbcrg steamer and
Sailed down the stream In gladaess
To New Orleans poor Joe was bound
To see the Crescent City.
But II ar Cairo he'd lave stopped
ne'er had penned this ditty.
He walked aboard the Nancy JAMS,
And in his luck he trusted.
But twenty miles below Cat point
The Steamer up and busted.
Her boiler II was shattered. and
Her hull 1t was demolished.
And Uncle Joe was ore Of those
hos future was abolished.
He sleeps beneath Ohio's wave.
The trumpet call awaiting.
And that he Is n busted man
Admits OF no debating.
There you are, Uncle Billy" I SAID.
as | finished reading the poem to him,
.'and what do you think of it?"
lie took the paper with tender fingers
and gazed at 1t until his tears Blinded
80 ~ was q iOnB tnO lllIlItS DE-
fore he could control his voice 10 say:
ABE. If I'd lost two hogs by the
cholera it wouldn't have ts>shed my
feelln's ms this thing has doie. All J
can say to you now is that I'm ten
million times obleeged, but next tima
you come along shall hope to prove
my gratitude"
At the blacksmith shop. two miles
below. l had to stop to get a loose shoe
fastened, and | was sorting over nv
letters when | looked up and saw thai
the smith had tears In bis eyes. |
asked him IL he was In pain, and told
him that | always carried d bottle of
relief. but he p!ade no answer until he
had fixed the shoe. Then he sat down
beside me and said:
ABE, that letter you handed my wife
the other day was from her mother In
illinois and 1t contained bad news"
Nobody dead, l hope"
"Yes-her sister Sally. She died of
the kick Of a COW There ISN'T a hu.
man bein' In the state OF Illinois who
can write poetry. and Martha asked me
II | wouldn't ask you to get off some
thing. Well send a copy out west, and
1t will cheer US all amazingly
will 1t do next time l come aloncfo
I'm afraid not. Abe. Martha does
nothing but walk around and weep,
and II you put 1t off another day she
may drown herself In the clstern. You
write Inc something, and I'll look over
the other shoes and see that they are
all right"
l had to use a piece Of paper -four
sack and the stub Of a pencil, but nv
muse frollcked around and enabled me
to Invent the following.
In a certain western state. where the
beef trust makes the rate,
There did dwell a maiden aged INVENT,
years.
Her naire was saliy Tripper, ana to milh
she was a ripper.
Auc It's on account OF that we're shaa.