The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1906-02-08
All Aboard; Are you O. X.

and have worked in the East,
says the Industrial Gazette, who will
and enjoy the following
story which is told on Superintendent
Joseph Maxwell, of the Missouri,
Kansas and Texas railroad.
Superintendent Maxwell, or plain,
blunt 'sJoe," as his friends call him
has the reputation of being very parti-
cular in the matter of employing
trainmen, desiring only those who
have had considerable experience in
that branch of the service. The follow
ing is a conversation said to have
been overheard in Mr.. MaNwell's Office
between that gentlemen and an appli-
cant for a position as a passenger
conductor:
"Where did you come from?"
sFrom General Manager ST. John
of the Chicago, Burlington & Quincy.
"What did you come here to do?"
"To learn to subdue my energies
and improve the railroad service"
''Then you are a railroad man. l
infer?"
81 am so taken to be by all officials
who know their business"
"How may I know you to be a rail
road MANI"
SPY looking over my letters and
examining me in the signals. Try me-
Glow will you be tried?"
SPY the punch"
"Why by the punch?"
Because it is the emblem of honesty
and the principal tool of my profess
sion.'
"Where were you first prepared to
be a railroad MANI"
SIN my mind.'
""Where next?"
"Upon a farm adjoining the right
of way"
"How were you prepared?"
"By breaking upon a threshing
machine for six months, after which
I went to town and sought admission
to the trainmaster's clerk"
"How were you r~eceived?"
"Upon the gaze Of the trainmastel
applied to my physiognomy, which
was thus explained. AS it is always
a source of great pleasure to the train
master to receive callers, [ should
drop in and chat with him a little
while upon every occasion possible
"How were you disposed of?'
II was seated in a chair neal to the
trainmaster's desk and asked if I put
my trust in safety coupling devices"
"Your answer?"
"Not if I knew myself, I don't"
"What was then done with you?"
81 was lead up and down the yard
three time to accustom myself to the
noise of the trains; thence to the
chief dispatcher"
"How were you then disposed OFF"
st was seated upon a brake wheel
before a train boy and caused to take
the following horrible and binding
loath: I, Steve Sears, do hereby and
hereon most everlasting, diabolically
swear by tina great horn spoon that ]
will always remit and never conceal
any of the cash collected by me as
conductor, and that I will not cut,
make use, collect or remit any cash
fares less than those found in the re-
gular tariff book. 1 further promise
and swear that I will not carry on my
train friends, railroad mans wife,
mother or sister, daughter or widow.
or permit any other conductor to dc
SO if I can prevent it. l further pro.
mise and swear that I will freely con.
tribute to all subscriptions circulated
to buy my superior officer a token Q:
esteem, ETC., SO far as he may desire
and my salary will permit, to all O
which I solemnly swear, binding my.
self under no less penalty than that il
having my salary cut from year tx
year, all my perquisites taken ava,
dllo CApCl1oCu " ooAlN via w pa
under the Mckinley extension, wher
the trains come and go twice in twent,
four hours,'so help me Bob I%ngersoll
and keep my backbone stiff"
"What did you then behold?"
"The trainmaster's clerk approach
; ed me and presented me with a Bisho
safety coupling knife and instructe
me to take it to the yardmaster, VIII
would teach me how to use it,"
: "How are vhe Bishop couplin
knives used?"
> "By sticking them in the left hi
: pocket with the blade turning up"
Mr.. Maxwell here informed the az
: plicant that he was satisfied that /
was a railroad man and asked if /
! would be ''off," or s'from''
:, IT will be off from here, if you wi