Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1906-02-12
JUST SOME STORIES.

SOOOOS0~~e"0~S
The late Archbishop Thompson of
York had a coachman who possessed
many redeeming qualities to offset his
overfondness for liquor. Returning in
his carriage from a country church fes-
tival one night, the archbishop found
the man was so intoxicated as to have
no control of the horses. He put the
man inside the carriage and got on the
box himself.
The entrance to the yard of the
archi-episcopal palace in York is very
narrow; and the archbishop bumped
the carriage first against one wall and
then against the other. A groom came
running out OF the stable, and taking
in the situation, said in a shrill whis-
per:
Hello, Bill! Drunk again-and
blamed if you haven't got the old cocks
hat on
One day an electric car was derailed
on the main street. The conductor
went to nearby office and telephoned
for the work gang. When he returned
to the scene Of the accident he saw that
the passengers were on one side OF the
track, with the exception Of one lady,
who seemed to be afraid to cross the
/ rails.
! When the conductor drew near she
asked in timid voice: would l get
shock If l put my foot on that rail?"
pointing to the nearest one.
NO, madam" answered the conduc
tor, politely, mot unless you put your
other foot on the trolley wire"
Some amusing instances Of French
bulls" are given by 1T. p" The fol-
lowing sign is said to have been OBJ
served on Paris shop:
"Fabricant des Meubles Anciens."
And not far from It, on the same
street. the sign:
Preparation des Bebes Incassables.' .
The following verbal bull" is cred
tied to a Frenchwoman who. while
promenading with friend, noticed a
passing cab drawn by pair Of horses
one black and the other white Look.
said one. you don't often see pure
white horse and pure black one har-
messed together"
That's So" was the response. do
you know why the black horse is on the
near side?"
NO"
why, they always put the horse that
near side."
"The LATEST man ever saw" said 9
travelling man to group OF fellow
drummers at a Chestnut street care
. In ST. Louis not long ago. was not
:. tramp nor a cop. but station agent II
: little one horse village in Idaho.
After had finished what little bust
ness l could do in the town. ! Wen
down to the railroad station to buy {
, ticket for my next stop. The lazy sta
; tionmaster sat on a broken down offfc
4 chair his feet on the desk and pip
e in his mouth unllt When asked 70
: the ticket he slowly reached up to tn
Il rack. drew 1t out handed it to me an
e took my money without bestowing
9 glance upon me or moving from hi
/" chair.
r ...That's the LATEST thing ever saw
: I said to him. III you can do arfythin
lazier than that I'll give you this dol
o lar without the slightest curiosity o
e even interest the loafer drawled: 'Pu
It 1t In my pocket and did"
e When the late Thomas Whittemor
e was pastor Of q church in Cambridg
y the society persuaded him to have HI
i portrait painted by Alvan Ciarl
a father of the famous lens maker. Vine
l. the portrait was finished Mr.. White
l. more was invited to call and see
and Mr.. Clark asked him how he like
1t.
oil After looking at 1t for some moment
q Mr.. Whittemore said: How do m
1t parishioners like it,"
e. 'They say It looks just like you." n
w piled Mr.. Clark
or Il am very sorry" said the old ger
he tleman. And then. noting a distress
H. look on Mr.. Clark's face. he added
re mot sorry that 1t looks like me. b.
sorry that look like the picture"