The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-10-27
IF l can help YOU at all l shall be


glad TO-" she replied.
IT'S just this way. I received cali
today from one of the executive COM
mittee OF the Branch County fair. He
wanted me to write and deliver an ad-
dress There's no money in 1t, but lots
of fame. 1 want to get up the very
best address delivered at any county
fair this fall, and if you help me a lit
tie l could do it
Certainly, III help you. How much
have you got written p
mot so very much but it's good. I
viii read it to YOU:
. Ladies and gentlemen: It goes
Without saying that I stand here before
you today with all the emotions surg
ing up in my breast that Washington
felt when he crossed the Della ware.
After Lexington-after Bunker Hill
after years of patriotic suffering, we
finally achieved our independence and
we stand here today under the banner
of freedom .
But I don't like the beginning.
I dear" said Mrs. Bowser. as he paused
you see that Lexington and Bunker
Hill and Washington crossing the Della
ware have nothing whatever to do with
the Branch County fair
I'D like to know why they haven't2
Gould Branch county have had cOun-
ty fair except for those things?"
That's too indefinite. I should
plunge right into my subject at once.
You seem to have mapped out a
Fourth of July Grafton instead"
Nothing Of the kind. woman an
grily exclaimed Mr.. Bowser. Il was
a fool to appeal to you. I might have
known that your Jealousy would lead
YOU to find fault with whatever I
wrote. Don't agitate yourself further
our opinion is nothing to me-"
He therefore retired to the library
and slammed the door after him, and
it was. fifteen minutes before he reap
N
swallowing his pride he read;
yellow citizens; As I cast my eyes
over this smiling landscape today and
recall the fact that when Christopher
Columbus landed here four hundred
years ago he found nothing but a vast
and silent forest filed With whoopfng
Indians and raging wild beasts say
that when I look around me and see
sec
but Columbus landed down in
Florida, you know" interrupted Mrs.
Bowser.
~And what Of that2 Can't speak
in a general way?''
you have a vast and silent forest.
AMI then you say it was filled with
Wflooping Indians and raging wild
beasts You must be consistent, Mr..
Bcwser.
But do you think any one is going
to cavil about such trifies p he de-
nanded as he flushed white and red
Besides. am sure that Columbus
landed on the very spot where they
are going to hold the fair"
Then all histories saFe wrong
f'gFhen they are, and can prove it
In fact, the man who engaged me said
that he did. and that they had q stone
there to mark the spot"
well let that CO." said Mrs. Bow
ser. What are you going on to say
about the whooping Indians and the
raging wild beasts ."
mot a blamed word. You have
knocked out the whole thing, just as [
might have known you would. The
chance comes to me to make a great
name as a literary man and an orator
and you Immediately proceed to jump
on it with both feet. If I had your dis
position I'd go hang myself"
IF you will only be reasonable
But Mr.. l3owser wouldn't. He strobe
down the hall, clapped his hat on his
head and banged the door behind him.
Arriving at the corner drug store, he
asked of his family druggist:
Say, White, where did Columbus
land in America -
ION the coast of Florida. of course -
s'Uml Do you know anything about
the Branch County FAIR"
1T was held two weeks ago!"
Mr.. Bowser walked out of the store
seeing red There was a man waiting
on the corner to strike him for a dime
He was a poor man and weary and
discouraged man. having lost his
wholesale dry good business in the Cal
ifornia earthquake.
'fWill T. VIII l." shouted Mr. Bow
ser in glee as the man made his re-
quest. You bet I will"
And then two men struggled for a
mcnent-went down and rolled over
got up and f1ed-and it was the blood
thirsty Mr. Bowser who pursued with
demoniac yelIs.-( Copyright, 1906, by
Mcclure, Phillips & COD
~