The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1906-09-22

~
weary Wlllie-Can yer swipe a ride
under an auto? Dusty Rhodes-Naw.
that's where the owner stavs-
Clipped.
Iruthful.-"How do you take your
steakf' asked the charitable house
wife. Il takes it mighty rare" replied
the tramp.
so you feel that your automobile is
perfectly safer" Most Of the time
when 1t Is in the repair shop.'-wssh-
ington Star.
Ioast--"Father, why do they call
speech made at a banquet toast?"
MY son. was the answer. "it is prob
ably because it is so dry"
Cautlon.-Mrs. Newife-BrIdget I
don't want you to build a fire in the
new stove until you try the oven. so If
it doesn't bake l can send 1t back.
Does he believe in the survival of
the fittest" "He does" "On what
ground?" "Why, he says he's here and
that proves it."-San Francisco Call.
Mrs. X.-You used to call me an
angel. Mr.. X.-Well, | used to think
you were one. Mrs. X.-And now?
Mr.. X.-And now wish you WERE
Cleveland Leader.
Reporter-Why Is 1t that so many
people commit suicide in the spring?
DR.. Thinktank-I don't know. / think
myself that well or river would be
better.-Fla shlight.
"Step livelyl" said the conductor.
mot on your life" responded the
grouchy passenger. "If felt like doing
that I'd walk and beat your old car"
philadelphia Ledger.
Ethel showed papa one Of your
poems and he was delighted. Scribbler
Indeed Ethel-Yes; said 1t was so
bad he thought you'd probably be able
to earn living at something else
Judge.
Somewhat Mixed.-A young man
who was about to be married was very
nervous, and, while asking for infor-
nation as to how he must act, put the
question: us it Missionary to cuss the
bride?"
Isn't 1t splendid out here all aloneY
began Mr.. Boreim, who had found her
musing beside the quiet lake. "Yes,
replied Miss Bright, 81 was thinking
that very thing as you came along
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Wilder Cat the door)-I thought
told you never to call again. Mr.
Loster-I didn't come to see you
madam. l came to collect little bill
All see-er-call again, won
you ?"-Cleveland Leader.
1t was thankful Alma wife tina
sent the following recommendation Il
a patent medicine firm: Gentlemen, be
fore taking your medicine l was to-
weak to spank my baby, but now l cal
lick my husband. Clipped.
: Patient-Well, doctor, do you thin
] I'm getting we'll all right? Doctor
D Oh, yes; you still have good deal o
fever. but that doesn't trouble me. 20
course not. II you had a fever
wouldn't trouble me."-Scissors.
: 81 think my speech on this questio
q will have some effect" at has alread
p had an effect" answered Senator Sol
= ghum. ''You have caused two or NOR
: questions to grow where there was bu
one before. Washington Star.
+ Young Lady to Clerk in Bookstore
am looking for something suitabl
y for an old gentleman who has bee
married fifty years. Can you sugge'
: something? Clerk promptly ="
: Half Century Of Conflict. Life.
4 Mistress-I am sorry to trouble yo
n Bridget, but my husband wants b
: breakfast tomorrow at 8 80. Cook
= Oh. it won't be no throuble at all, muI
/. If he don't knock nothin' over whoi
is cookin' it an wake me up.-Judge.
l. Bishop-Never again preach again
5 or reject so-called tainted none
a. Curate sir; hut Bishop
he huts. If we intend to successfully col
Of pete with the devil on modern lines '
Is must first ruin him financlally.-Lii
Young Husband-I told the govern
thought it would be wise If we stai
Cd housekeeping at once. Young WI
= And did he endorse the opinic
a, Young Husband-Oh, yes, he endors
ne the opinion all right.-Town and Cou
. try.
ed "And then" said Miss Passay, "
IN asked me If wouldn't marry the I'll
so man that came along Think Of II
:, DYesY" replied Miss Pepprey. II
=, idea! Don't those obviously unnec
VI sary questions make you tiredY
~ Philadelphia Press.