davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

The Kalsers moustaehe is still assertive
and warlike, and this means that Alge-
eiras viii be a failure.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Witte promises to stay in office until
the douma meets, when Russia will go on
the constitutional basis
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Edna Wallace Opper has discovered a
passionate musician who is advertising
her art immensely.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Birmingham's water wagons are now
painted bright blue. They could be seen
mile away if 1t wasn't for the smoke.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Archbishop Farley says it is absurd to
kill people at the age of sixty. of course,
and, cruel, too.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04
l,e.t1avzs~

for nothing 1t costs a layman IS to do
that.
A few more definitions taken at ran
dom from our new dictionary:
PROMINENT CITIzEN-Ordnary cit
izen in print; any white man not in
Jail.
PEACE.-Roosevelt long suit
WAR.-Roosevelt's long suit.
RISING YOUNG MAN.-Any young
man drawing $40 month who gets
married.
FAN.-Abbreviation of FANATIC; used
In baseball parlance; comes with the
violets and fades with the golden rod
understanding presumably funny
which we say ourselves.
VOCALIST who sings in a
church choir for $50 a month.
sINGER.-Person who sings for $1,000
a performance and up
BUNCo.-Art of doing. others before
they do you; universal practice.
HUSBAND.-One to whom things are
charged.
POLITICS.-Game in which the cards
are always stacked.
BALDNESS.-A misfortune but not a
bar to matrimony.
Notwithstanding to read; see BANK
BOOK.
WOMAN.-The riddle of the ages.
GIRB.-same as WOMAN. only younger.
LADY .-Obsolete; see WOMAN.
GENT.-Gone with LADY.
tx 4n
- 49, rr1 =.
Reporter. Onel Two! Three All togetherl
Commissioner Bingham refers to 'Hell's
Delight" Must mean the magnates.
THE WAY OF THE WORLD.
When Phyllis was poor
No one came to WOO her
But now she Is rich
And dozens pursue her.
Now we are informed that cold storage
breeds germs in chickens. How about
eggs?
IN THE STREET. I&
Little drops of water
Put in ''gilt-edged1 stock Br
Make the common people Pf
Put their clothes in hook. IT
The editor of the PolkviIle Bugle an
nounces that David B. Henderson died
at Paresis, Iowa.
A newspaper man asked George M.
Conan what he would do when the pub
lie got tired of his style of entertain
ment He answered: II won't have to
do anything them" which is neat enough,
considering the money George makes.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04
EASY SPEAKER.

He spoke so gently,
And always, by choice.
That people remark ~
His gumshoe voice.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

NN-~~-~
she was talking about
MARRIED MATHEMATICS.
They lived a while
In weeded bliss
Each night hug
Each morn a kiss
Until one day
There came a cloud
And sounds of strife
Prolonged and loud.
To court they rushed.
With fierce complaint
The husband mad.
His wife quite faint.
The judge gave her
A quick decree.
Their hearts were two
Again, b'gee.
In married life.
AS now it's tried,
We multiply
And then divide.
''Nobody's Darling corresponds for an
Alabama newspaper and creates the i'm
preston that she is looking for some
one to love her.
The simple life is not a fad In Rias
anu fODOs lWo pcdLCtAul <AldDdHtd lOWHs-
OR MASS.
In Springfield o.
The folks fight so
We'd rather go
To Springfield, Mo-
A Vermont man asked the postmaster
of Louisville to send him the names of
all unsaved persons In the city and the
postmaster mailed him a copy of the city
directory.
A GOOD SORT.
Just pin your faith to the man who
fights,
Who is never afraid to do and die;
To the man who wears smile and
says.
There's good time coming. bye and
bye
Secretary Taft advises young men to
be mixers. The term mixer is applied
to a man who makes other people think
that he is interested in them when 1t Is
to his interests to do so.
1t must be great to be musical comedy
comedian and tickle the prettiest chorus
girls under the chin at every performance
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Frances Jospeh is beset by troubles, and
he must begin to wish emperors had a
retiring age.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Six thousand persons saw Sarah Bern
hardt play Camille" at Kansas City.
Six persons in the audience knew what
she was talking about.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

France is trying to establish at Algeeiras
her African Monroe Doctrine.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Col. Mann offers $1,000 to charity if any
one will prove that he has been black
mailed.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

John A. Mccall leaves an estate of
lover $4,000 The figures preach an elo-
quent sermon.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Rogers, Rockefeller and Cromwell are
our suppressers of official truth
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

AS the robins fly north the baseball
players fit southwark. The smile ends
there
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Cromwells memory is as bad as that
of an insurance official under fire.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Michalel of Illinois will keep his seal
in Congress in spite of his name.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

political campaign has
opened up in Alabama. 1t is the
same old senatorship PROPOSE
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

A Vermont man asked the postmaster
of Louisville to send him the names of
postmaster mailed him a copy of the city
directory.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

The MoCurdys went but they occupied
the imperial suite on the Amerika.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

"Nobodys Darling corresponds for an
Alabama newspaper and creates the i'm
preston that she is looking for some
one to love her.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, post
office as second-class matter under act
Of Congress March 3. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Hartsele Enquirer: With Conner out in
the field, Cunningham getting ready, and
ext Governor Johnstons friends Juggling
at his aspire tons-politics will soon come
forth in all its gloryl
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

IN THE STREET.
Little drops of water
Put in "gilt-edged" stock
Make the common people
Put their clothes in hook.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04
A GOOD SORT.

Secretary Taft advises young men to
be mixers The term mixer is applied
to a man who makes other people think
that he is interested in them when 1t Is
bis iptararta RI do So
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Daily and Sunday Age-Hera1d. ........ss.oo
Daily and Sunday. per month";. 20
Sunday Age-Herald per annum..... zoo
Weekly Age Herald. per annum...... LOO
Subscription payable in advance.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04
GEN. c. M. SHELLEY,

"The clansman" in Springfield. Ohio
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Washington Bureau Age-nerald 149l G
street. N. W.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Talladega Reporter: The battle Of China
is not Uncle Sans mix.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Mrs. Yerkes husbands and millions are
uncertain quantities.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

General Grosvenor is kept busy resent
ing his official obituaries.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

L. II. Russ. c. G. Witt and J. F. Kelley
are the only authorized travelling repre-
aentatives of The Age-Herald in its cir
culation department.
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
Notice Of Redemption
OF County Warrants.
Office of County Treasurer,
Prowers County, Colo.

May 8, 1906.
Notice is hereby given that will
redeem at my Office, in Prowers
county, all county warrants num-
bered as follows:
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
An Election Might Episode.

The man with the piece OF chalk
was busily putting down figures which
he laboriously read from the "fiimsies'
handed him by the messenger boy.
The crowd was cheering or groan.
ing. according to the color of the re-
turns and the temper OF the composite
human units.
After the messenger had handed In
the f1imsies he started to go away.
First he turned to the door at his
left. but bulky man filled 1t.
Then he lodged to the right and
attempted to duck under the support
OF the huge blackboard.
But the man with the chalk was too
quick.
With pale face and startled eyes he
leaped at the urchin and seized him
by the arm.
AS he was led from back Of the
blackboard the boy writhed in pain
and said:
"watchy doin'. mister? amt done
nothin'."
Don nothin'. indeed" cried the
man. trembling with wrath. Wasn't
you trying to go behind the returns?"
And the reckless and crestfallen lad
did well to escape with his life.-Bal-
timore American.
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
Comes Of ElahtIna Race.

Baron Fersen. captain of the RES
sian cruiser Izumrud-who reported
to the czar having blown up his vessel
rather than have her fall into the
hands Of the Japanese-has Just that
sort of blood in his veins. For he Is
one Of that family of Highland Mac
phersons who settled in Sweden
where they dropped the Mac" called
themselves Fersen, and afterward
overfowed into Russia. where they
rose to high position. The most illus
trious of the line was that Field Mar
shall Count Won Fersen. who entered
the French service and played con
siderable role In the life of Marie An
toinette. 1t was he who, disguised rs
a coachman. drove the French royal
couple in the flight to Varenne. He
was afterward murdered by a Stock
holm mob on suspicion of having poi
soned the crown prince Of Sweden.
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
His Loves.

@oWSos
"The woman love with my heart" he
said.
"Is cozy- -cornery girl:
A fa-pillowy. soft and willowly.
Smoother of Ills that big and BILL
lowy.
Sympathetic nonascetic.
Dear little love Of a girl"
'The woman 1 love with my brain" he
said.
''Is brilliant stimulant girl:
She's sheer delight to my mental sight,
With wit as quick as an arrows flight,
A comrade true and a sweetheart.
And a never-wearying girl"
"The woman l love with my SOUL" he
said.
"Is a Saint Cecilia girl;
The meanings fine OF a love divine
In her movements show. in her glances
shine,
Fairest of all she holds me in thrall
She's simply adorable girl"
'Then fare you well and forever" she
said.
Her scar lip a-curl:
'.To think ...at I-no matter. goodby!"
"Ah. Love-" he said. 80 It's for You / sigh
All three You are, my sweet. my star.
My one. my only girl
Ladies' World
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
Edison and Pasteur.

Thomas A. Edison has settled down
to the life of country gentleman un.
der the shadow of the New Jersey
mountains. Americans are inclined to
forget that his is one of the great
names of the world.
Anent this fact, says writer In the
Brooklyn Eagle. | recall an interview
with Pasteur. the immortal French
bacteriologist. in which he said, with
the simple and unaffected vanity of a
Frenchman: Your Edison is a great
man. When the history of our genera
ton comes to be written the two
names that will stand out most promi.
nently in science will be his and
mine"
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
Find Isaiah xlvII, 7,

Our remark Of a few days ago that
the phrase Il shall be a lady" oc-
CURED In Isaiah has sent many cor
respondents to a search of the Scrip
cures. This was. of course, our deep
design. But many of them cannot see
six inches before their noses. One OF
them, after a course of Isaiah, writes:
'I have read It through without tracing
1t, and on the strength of the state
ment I went SO far as to wager a box
at the theater on the accuracy of the
Daily Chronicle. Chronicle
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE.
Man Thought New York Was Being
Torn Up to Find His Watch.

Torn Up to Find His Watch.
Only those unfortunate enough to
live anywhere in the vicinity Of Park
avenue between Forty-second and
Fifty-seventh streets, where a large
force of men are at work apparently
tearing up the city from Its very roots.
in order, SC 1t is said. to increase the
number OF tracks running into the
Grand Central station, can appreciate
fully the point of the following anec-
dote:
A friend of Commissioner McAdoo
while passing through the city for the
first time In his life lost a watch
which he valued highly. Not familiar
with Manhattan isle. and thinking 1t
built on the same plan as the country
town from which he had come. the
man wrote to the commissioner OF his
loss and asked him to do his best to
hunt up the missing article. Mr.. Nc
Adoo answered that he would Go all in
his power to recover the watch and
would not leave a stone unturned in
the search.
short while after this the friend
we will call him Jones to simplify
matters-happened to be second time
in the great city of New York. and
by chance business took him to Fifty
seventh street and Park avenue. At a
glance he took in what was to him
the only explanation for the existing
state of affairs. Rushing post haste to
the nearest telegraph office he sent
the following astounding message to
the commissioner:
DO not bother any longer. Watch
not worth 1t. J. JONES"
New York Herald.
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
Too Good for Him.

The mans unsteady legs and list
less eyes were about the only evi-
dence Of his previous nights offense
when he was arraigned in a police
court the other morning.
Now. II you have anything to say
for yourself III hear it," said the mag
istrate.
s damn outrage" replied the pris-
oner. somewhat thickly.
Ten dollars fine for contempt of
court, announced the magistrate.
"What have you to say now?"
"S damn outrage" repeated the
man.
Ten dollars additional fine for con-
tempt" said the judge. "Tll give you
Just one more chance to defend your
self"
as no use, Judge" came the reply,
with considerable feeling. You're too
good at repartee for me-"
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
Hiah Rate for Church p.w

Thirty dollars day for a pew in
church is probably the record price
That is the figure paid for a stall in
Grace church, Broadway and Eleventh
street. New York. The pew was sold
at auction by the trustees of an es.
tate and was bought for $500 by
Hamilton G. King, who is said to have
represented some member of the
Rhinelander family.
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
WEsTB BOUND. EAST BOUND.

No. is California express and makes local
stops between Lamar and La Jnnta.
No. D is Denver express, stops on flag at Las
Animas. Carries free chair car and Pullmans.
No. is the Mexico and California express.
No. and No. both carry tourist and Pullman
sleepers. No. connects at LaJ unta for Pueblo
Colorado Springs and Denver
Train No. 50 runs to La Junta and will accom-
modate passengers for intermediate points.
meets at La Junta with train from Denver car
ries passenger through to Chicago without
change. Has Pullman and tourist slecpers.
No. is Denver express and runs through to
Chicago without change. Carries free chair
car and Pullman sleeper.
No: is local passenger and makes all stops.
Carries chair car and Pullman sleeper. Runs
through to ChicagDsSthout change of cars.
Inquiries solicited and promptly and cheer
fully answered. Descriptive literature and
time tables folders free by applying to
g. J.GARvrN. Agent
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
sHREwp schEMEs OF AhlMALe.

Devices Which Show They cems Prs4-
ty Close to Thinking.
They were talking about instinct In
animals. "I saw an exhibition oe
greediness and cunning by q horse,s
said one of them. There were two
old dirt wagon horses that had
stopped for the noon meal. The driv-
er had emptied portion Of oats into
wheelbarrow set at the head Of the
.wo horses, who still remained In the
traces. The horses were to eat out Of
the common mess.
"Old Mr.. Bay Horse, who eviden tly
was veteran in the dirt wagon line
and possessor Of good appetite.
would grab a mouthful of oats and
splutter them out on the ground on
his side of the wheelbarrow. After
he had collected quite pile on the
ground he commenced on the common
stock. and when he and his compaa-
ion had cleaned out the wheelbarrow
old Mr.. Bay Horse turned to his priv.
ate store on the ground. while his
companion, from the other side OF the
wagon pole. looked hungrily on. but
could do nothing
Il was travelling in the mosquito
country last month";" said the other,
"and the mosquitoes were terrible.
They attacked cattle and live stock
and would drive them frantic AT one
place farmer was burning brush in
the field, and noticed a dozen COWS
and horss clustered in the lee of the
smoke i'hde by the burning brush.
They would move around as the wind
shifted, always keeping in the smoke
drift. where. Of course, no mosquito
could live. And the animals stood
with closed eyes. too"
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
Living Without Nourlshment.

How long Is It possible for man to
maintain life without food of any des.
cription. liquid or solid. Two hunger
artists" Sig. Succi and M. Tlexandro
Jacquez. some years ago tied for pre-
mier honors in England by abstaininr
from food for forty-two days. and I"
the eighties a man named Merlatt
maintained health and spirits for fift"
days on Spartan diet limited to sir
Of water.
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06

Interest will cease on the above
orders after June 8, 1905.
J. T. ADKINS,
County Treasurer.
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
Pleasant.

'T love to hear you talk" prattlsd
the little daughter Of the house.
"Why is that. my little dear?" asked
the hRttered visitor.
"'Cause when you do your ears wig
gle Just like our donkey's."
The Lamar register., 1906-06-06
Irish 0uards Band.

The British War Once has declined
10 allow the Irish Guards Band to
visit cities of the United States in
connection With Its summer visit to
-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-07
Happiness in a Tablet
Perfect Health for Every One Procured
at Small Cost.

How many times have you sat down
at your meals absolutely disguised at
the thought or sight Of anything to
eat2
How many times have o sat down
at your meals without the trace of an
appetite, but just because 1t was time
to eat?"
How many times nave you felt a
gnawing. unsatished ''stilI-hungry'
feeling in your stomach, even after you
were through eating?
How many times have you felt that
lump of lead" on your stomach after
eating. whether your meal was well
cooked or not?
And how many times have you suf-
fered a whole lot of other things from
your stomach that you couldn't explain,
but that made you grouchy, miserable,
out-o'-sorts and generally sou on
everybody and everything?
It is safe to say you couldn't tell.
You don't keep track of those things.
Of course, but you know you've SUI
fared them. You probably have had
them for so long that they've become a
habit with you, and you have come to
The conclusion that your fate is to
suffer them Indefinitely and perhaps
forever.
And so men. much like horses, stand
ing unhitched at the hitching post,
think they're tied. and so their habit
makes them prisoners.
But no one need have dyspepsia, nor
indigestion, nor loss of appetite, brash.
irritation. burning sensations, heart
b41rn. nausea, quotations, IA memory,
loss of vim and vigor and the happi-
ness that comes from a healthy stom-
ach and a good appetite If he viii only
leave his old hitching post and tie him
self to a new one n that viii hold
him to health. joy, ambition and a clear
mind and memory, and the sunshine
that goes with them.
That indeed is Heaveni And you
can get it in a little tablet already pre-
nared- for the purpose, in Stuart's Dys-
1ans4a Tablets, those little cherubs of
health and delight found in thousands
~ homes today isten-O ingredi-
Lent of one Of these precious little tab
lets win digest for 0 5000 grains Of
This relieves your stomach OF the
work Of digesting until your stomach
car get strong and healthy again. Your
stomach has been overworked and
/ abused. It's tagged out It needs a
Let stuarts Dyspepsia Tablets do the
work of your stomach. You will be
-sIrprised how fine you'll feel after
eating, and how l~usciously good every
thing will taste to you That's because
the TabIets are thoroughly digesting
the food which your stomach couldn'i
digest before
Have these tablets on CUR dining
/ table. and take one or two after every
I meal without fail. Then youaw1ll real
fze as never before that the human
stomach decides for every man whether
he Will go forward or backWafd=ane
besides, you'u forget you ever had 4
stomach to torment you.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-07
Lulu Cole viii take place on satur-

Miss Lulu Cole will take place on Satur-
day.
Miss Mabel Stone and Miss Elizabeth
Parkman of Lawrence will be guests
of Miss Nadine Lyle on Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. In. Crawford, who
have lived the last four years in st.
Louis. have moved to- Topeka for a
permanent residences. Mrs. Crawford
and her daughter, Mrs. Edfth Dain, will
leave in a few days for a several weeks
stay at Excelsior Springs.
Miss Gay Shepard. who is the guest
Of Miss Maude Crimes. will return to
her HON in Kansas City tomorrow.
Miss Shepard Will come again to To-
peka the last of the month for a visit
to Miss Grimes, who will entertain
then in. her honor.
Mrs. Grant H. Bertheimer returned
yesterday from Kansas. City, where she
has been visiting.
Miss Franc tDancanfof Denver, who
has been the guest of Miss Margaret
Going and Miss Mary Sutherland, will
go Sunday to Kansas City to visit Miss
Gay Shepard.
MI. G. Johnson ofTopeka was in the
city ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS World.
Miss Dorothy Mcknight returned to-
day from a short visit in Topeka
Lawrence Journal.
Mr. Hugo Felix Of Parsons and Mr..
Cliff Felix of Topeka will be in town
tomorrow to see about the opening OF
their new store here.@Lawrence Jour
nal.
Mrs. d. S. Ryan, who has been the
guest of her daughter. Mrs. william f,
Drechsel, returned yesterday to her
home in Leavenworth.
Mrs. E. W. Hoch returned yester-
day from a visit in Marion.
Mrs. Charles Blood Smith went to
Kansas City today to visit her sister.
Mrs. Arthur Murphy.
Mr.. n Mrs. ]. W. Crannell have
returned to Kansas City after a visit to
Mrs. J. c. Smith
Katherine Ellen Ketner Of Kansas
City is visiting her grandparents, Mr.
and Mrs. George W. Martin.
The meeting of Mrs. ". H. Holmes
bible class at the Central Congreea-
tional church has been postponed one
week.
The Teames Taxa Hashi Embroidery
club Will meet Friday afternoon with
MRS clarence Scott, 724 Kansas I've
nue..