davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
EMBARRASSING.


Denver TITntS.
S. V. Henkels Philadelphia's expert
on autographs and books. said at a
sale. apropos OF embarrassment:
That reminds me of a little girl out
In Germantown.
There was company at dinner at her
house one night, and the little girl.
pointing TO her plate. said In a loud
voice:
"'Oh. mamma, what is this?'
THE thing was a hair, but the moth
er. red with confusion. still had enough
ready wit left to say:
plate
THE child cried. in a still louder
voice:
"Oh, mamma, look I cnn move
this crack about, Isn't that funny -
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
Varsous MAJ
JOKE ON CHICAGO soo'

,,, JOKE ON CHICAGO SOC
Milwaukee, Sentinel.
According to the sober 10y
Evening Posts version No ~
that mas leaked out Chica >.
or section of Il. has been ~
Paul Orleneff's admirable c
Russian players. and witn
Orlenen's private secretary
ma Schmidt. The plavera,
English being almost az NJ.
their entertainers stock of p,J
Interpreter was needed.
Schmidt assumed the Office N
sumed II with reflnement".
OF manner under all cirn,,,.>
In short. with u grace ana a.
that bred the romantic conts%h
she was ''the daughter OF
sian family in reduced circuu
What must have been the an,
when 1t was discovered thai
mired and supposedly aristoc,
Schmidt was in fact a won,ar
more than once been "wants(
local police-the notorious EN-
mann! NJ, Orleneff NAV ar ,
have been aware OF the idenf
secretary. and II may he
granted that the RussIa y
Baron Schllpperbach, who f
have youched for the ladxe
was not. President Bissell ~
matte association which ~
Russian players to Chicago q
skirts OF responsibility as foI,I5
Miss Schmidt was one Of y
quiet and dignified women fs
and I never for a moment III
suspected that she was nm %
She WAS not at all given Ia y
and seemed entirely absorbe
work. She had a clear Rras. 1
ness matters. however, and Il
pable Of looking out for her
ests. I
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
ELECTRICITY FOR SEAsICKNEsS
New York Press

The ship physician of tho Hamburg
American liner Patricia publishes his
account OF new method for treating
seasickness by means Of an electric
vibration chair. writes Consul Osmun
from Stuttgart Six OF these chairs
were placed aboard the Patricia and
connected with the electric-light con-
duit, The sedative effect on the patient
when vibrated in the chair was notice
able, reducing the pulse and nervous
excitement. The use OF these electric
chairs Will be extended to other steam
crs this winter
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
HIS CONCLUSION.

New York Tribune
You women folk must be &earin' a
sight of birds on your hats this SEN
son. ventured Uncle Abner. as he care
fully removed his coat
Why, Abner?" asked Aunt Sophro-
MIA,
Wall. they wus a feller sot In front
of me on the train that was dressed like
dandy-fur- lined coat, a diamond big
as a shellbark hickory nut. and a plug
hat: and heard him tell the feller sit
tin with him thet he'd made over
$40, 600 this year skinnin' laws"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
EXPENSIVE STUFFING.
Herper's Weekly.

harper weekly.
A certain Pittsburg millionaire visited
Philadelphia not long ago. and his busi-
ness leading him to the splendid Acad-
emy OF Natural Sciences he found him
self walking In and ou, among the cases
OF stuffed birds. There are thousands
OF lifelike feathered creatures gathered
there. and the collection Is considered
one OF the finest in America The custo-
dian could not help pralsing 1t all with
excusable warmth.
I've never figured 1t out" he said at
last, but It is safe to say, at a guess,
that these stuffed birds are worth not
less than 5000, ,000."
"Heavens" exclaimed the man OF
money. ''is 1t possible7 What are they
stuffed WITH"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
LIFE AND LABOR.

Arthur Strlngcr in Evcybody's.
Here on a langud deck how TRANQUILITY
we noati
Seafaring now seems easy, thanks to
call II coali-
Who blames us oil for idling, on an idle
boat?
Fools stand and watch one moment In
In the stokers' hole.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
THE PAPERS WON.

The American Society for the Pre-
by Henry Bergh, the friend OF dumb
brutes, fell, after that philanthropist' s
death, under the control OF Mr.. John P.
! Haines, as president. For seventeen
years Mr.. Haincs has been the auto
| crat. Beginning with five years ago
| certain newspapers and periodicals OF
New York. where the society has Its
headquarters. and where Mr.. Haines
resides, have been making demands
| upon him for a public accounting of the
funds contributed TO him by benevo-
lent people for the purposes OF the So
ciety's work. Persistently Mr.. Haines
has refused. At the election OF the So
ciety a few weeks ago, by votes OF men
In his employ and by proxies, he was
sustained in his office as president. and
the demand for an accounting was
overruled. But the high-handed pro-
ceeding was too much FOR public sentl-
ment and the papers more enerSetlcal-
ly opened their batteries upon Mr..
5aineS and his management. 1t was
claimed that the usefulness Of the or
ganizatlon was greatly impaired by
his arbitrary methods, that much need
ed work was undone. that the society
had steadily deteroreted In character
and In public esteem, and that the
high purpose for which Henry Bergh
mad labored through a lifetime de-
manded that Mr.. Haines should retire
from q place to which he had impart-
ed neither dignity nor honor.
Yesterday morning the telegraphic
announcement was made that John p.
Haines had resigned. The newspapers
had won in this moral contest. Now
there Will be publicity. Now the So
ciety will have an accounting of its
funds and under the leadership of
some man who not only regards dumb
brutes. but also has some regard for
human creatures. the great work can
be resumed upon the high basis which
Henry Bergh established.
The excuse made by Mr.. Haines in
mis- refusal 10 edi6y the public with full
reports OF the society's financial trans
actions and its labors WAS that so
long as contributors TO the funds were
satisfied. It was none OF the publics
business what became of the money.
This was to some extent the view en-
tertalned by the insurance presidents
in New York. for they held that so
long as policy holders received all that
their contracts demanded II was OF no
concern to the outside world how the
internal affairs OF the companies were
conducted-thatt there was no justice In
the demand for a showing as TO lobby
or other expenditures.
Halnes and the insurance presidents,
however. have discovered that the pub
lie have q right to knowledge concern
Ing the conduct of public and semi
public concerns. and that law and
community opinion can be arrayed to-
gether in an Irresistible force TO COM
pei a showing of finances of charitable
and mutual concerns.
The spirit of investigation is aroused
in the land. and In oil probability be-
fore 1t shall have stayed It's work, the
inner dealings of some other personally
owned benevolent schemes VIII be un-
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
DIDN'T MEAN 1T THAT WAY

DIDtN WITHIN II IIIfi WIZ
American Advertiser.
There would appear to be very doubt
fnl comfort In the subJolned candid
statement that appears in the Agony
column of n London daily:
'Notice.-If B., who Is supposed to
be In c., will communicate with his
friends at home he Will hear of some
thing to his advantage. His wife Is
dead"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Now that Representative Howell has
succeeded In getting a favorable COM
mittee report on a bill. how can Utah
listen to the suggestion Of his retire
ment from Congress?
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Senator Smoot could not help now re-
gardlng the springing by some Senator
OF subject for prolonged debate as a
brotherly act.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Among those who VIII feel that an
outrage was committed In the action on
the Statehood bill are many men of
New Mexico and Arizona who want to
be United States Senators.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Cinnamon in the United States arc
too broad-minded 20 be so influenced by
the anti-American spirit prevailing in
their country as to refuse to do wash
Ing for Americans.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
STUNG.
The sketch

She'll learn you TO find fault with
my temper! When we married you
took me for better or worse.
He-Yes. Martha: but l did hope
there would have been something like
an average.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

II the opinion of the children is de-
sired regarding proposed new studies.
they can tell the board that there are
too many studies now.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

However, the ladies Will soon be sue
cessful In the matter OF making the
city beautiful 10 the extent afforded by
their appearance In new spring clothes.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

sec that the really important measure
affecting 1t has oil along been the
Smoot bill to preserve the Kaibab
plateau
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

And perhaps Senator Sutherland viii
decide that the best way to show his
dlsapproval of the hierarchy In his
speech for Senator Smoot is not TO
mention 1t.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

That MIR. Rockefeller has no vain de-
sire to be conspicuous is shown by the
pains he is taking TO avoid appearing
on the witness stand.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

But how can owners OF billboards
have the heart TO take their boards
down so long as advertisers persist IN
patronizing them?
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Meyer and Haywood must admit, after
their trip TO Caldwell. that the Idaho
authorities are showing them all the
attention they could expect
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Fisher Harris has met on his travels
a great many people who say that they
want TO see America first. and some of
them mean II.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Prof Hyatt has no objection to
spring weather now, having demon
strated that the grounding is entitled
to no credit for It.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
FROM THE JoKEMAKDRs

Mo-Gracious What's the matter
with the baby?
Pa-Oh. he bumped his head against
one OF the pedals OF the plano
Ma-Poor little dearl Perhaps he's
seriously hurt
Pa-Oh. / guess not. 1t was the soft
pedal he struck,-Philadelphia Press.
Discharged Cook-An' Will yez give
me q reference. mum2
Cross Lady-Reference, indeed! What
Is there to recommend you?
Discharged Coolt-Just say th't I've
lived Wild you whole month-Cleve
land Leader.
Statistical Boarder-Have you the re-
motest idea for instance, what the
worlds supply OF honey is?
Sentimental Boarder-Yes. sir. The
worlds supply OF honey weighs exactly
116 pounds, and her name is-well I'm
not going to mention 1t In this crowd
Chicago Tribune.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

No matter what the American Coun-
cilmen decide to do regarding the con-
duit. their action Will be entirely un-
satisfactory TO the fault-nnders.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Many Fasteners Will quickly come to
see the magnificent scenery of the
West. II they can be shown how they
can make money by doing so
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

1t Is announced that Mr.. Charles NJ
Schwab, who has been Ill. has so far
recovered as TO be able to join In a
game of cards. 1t Is good to hear this,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
Tribune Telephones.
Saturday, March 10, 1905

Furthermore, might not the study Of
other languages interfere with the
work of pupils In athletics?
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

tifying the city can count on the early
assistance OF the trees. anyway
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

perhaps 1t may not be long now until
he Will be well enough TO attend a
PRAYER meeting.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Chicago has decided to raise the IL
cense fee OF Its saloons to $1,000. even If
1t puts some of them out of business.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
KILLED BY SWEETHEAH
Chicago Record Herald.

On the eve OF the day I'd
wedding. Miss Elvira Jacksor
is dead at her country home.
ron, Mich. having contracte1
by kissing her fiance. ]. Arth'
who had been Ill from the q
several days. Miss JacI
stricken shortly after kissin
and her condition became
that she was taken to a hp1
affection of the heart develoI
ly afterward and the end q!
Frazer did not leave her BED
after her death, and Is nov
Gus condition from the SHOCK
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

With the Statehood bill disposed Of
by the Senate. Senator smoot sees that
the consideration of his case Is near,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

and naturally shrinks from the idea OF
the additional prominence 1T Will give
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Foon Chuck, a naturalix9|
man Of Mexico, is estimatcdr q
mere than q million In gold.
to Mexico from California wv
ago with less than $50, ana
cook for a railway construc
pany.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
WHY THE JaIp rrYps,,

WHY THE HAIR TURNS
ST. Nlcholas Il
The color OF the hair depen
tie granultes. which can be b
hair be examined under q pov
croscope. Sometimes the hall
come white in a night. Brow!
tells us that when he was as
his beard turned white In
This took place when he Wa
we'll and without any espec
Sometimes. however, sorroW
produces the change earlier In
1t would usually take place.
cause, some have said that thl
comes filled with small air
which make II look gray: oil
said that the outer part of th|
comes altered so that II Is III
glass and you cannot gee the
a man by the name OF Metchr
us that the real reason u
small movable bodies in The
YOUR the grains Of colorlng u1
move then to the root Of
Sometimes poisons In diseasz
results of sorrow, bring abb
feet upon these small migrau
(cells), causing them to hecol
In the above fashion. That
be the reason why the hair Brl
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
AROuT PEOPLE

Luther Burbank, tho Califf
ard fruit and flower transfoe
been so overrun by visitors
5000 the last year-that a publ
has been Issued asking thai
him be discontinued.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10
CRUSADE AGAINST

American Medicine. Il
The crusade against the IA
progressing as we'll as could 4
ed. and is extending to all q,
country. Courts are wIse,,
that human beings have a
not mentioned IN our arruu
George III. One OF those n
10 A peaceful pursuit of heal
as happiness. In Massachus
declared by the Superior con
Jectionable noise is action
whistle nuisance In fart
freight yards Is being supDr
New York, through the effor
Isaac L. Rice, the deafcninr
sary, or even wnnton M
river boats Is being suppres.
this she Is receiving the
support of the medical urr
who are pointing out the ner|
age to both sick and we'll. III
ticnts have particularly SUD
must be guarded. It Is a lRu
sade, and we can we'll desirs
tinue until cities are made
to the most sensitive.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Because her hair was turi
Mrs. William Thomas, a you
OF Eleanora, Pa. near here.
suicide. She swallowed causl
and when a doctor was cali
ened TO kill him II he would ]
die, ~
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

The royal families OF Swee
and Italy all own lots IN =
Kaiser Wilhelm owns seyerai
New York land and has been
years a heavy investor "
property. The King of Engil
tied from his mother piece
tate on Nassau street In -
King Edward owns some tno
acres Of Western land.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Shortly after Chief Justice
the Court OF Appeals OF New =
had retired from the bench ane
the practice of his professio
called on him to get his opn
certain matter. After statint
clearly he said: well. JuukS
YOU think of my casey n
promptly replied: II think y
scoundrel." How much 90 !
for that opinion?" inquired q
"Ten dollars" demanded %
The fee was promptly PAID.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Entered at tho Postofhco of salt Lako City
as seccnd-clnsS matter
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Congressman j. Adam Beoe
sulting with President Roose'
a minor Federal appointing
Minnesota district which ne
ed. After making severai
about the man, the President
ruptly, "Is he an honest ma
honest mann" returned y
why, see here. Mr.. Presio
man wouldn't rob q railway 2
not II he had the chance.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-10

Tho Tribune Ia on palc at all tho principal
news-stands In the United Stetes
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-06-08
Chicago Grain and Produce.

SnfcaE0 GraIn and PfO6uce.
 Chicago, June 7--An advance of al- most two cents per bushei In the price of wheat occurred here today as the result of the urgent buying brought out by numerous reports of damage ed nearly at the highest point of the day the July option showing a gain of 7-s Q 2: Corn was up l Is O 1 IA;
 wsFe s 1s sp 1 soo hisSar Tsns in, the wheat pit was extremely bullish all day. and there was a strong de- mand from shorts and commission weather, in the northwest was chiefly tivity of the market. Early fin. the day by the strength of corn and oats, but ket strong. Advices were received of black rust in the wheatr fields of in Kansas and Nebraska Higher prices for wheat at Liverpool also in- creased the bullish sentiment in the local market At times offerings were vantage of the situation to secure prof its, but some were so urgent that prices. continued to advance steadily. ssi-2 and closed strong at ss 3-s.
 Trading in the corn pit was active and the market was strong; The chief SatS0 Oh epO III oS tliHt y acceptanees were light notwithstand- ing the high bids that were sent out last night by cash houses. Small lo- influences. Longs were free sellers but all offerings were readily taken by shorts and commission houses. The market closed strong and close to the highest point of the day July opened 5-s Q S-4, advanced to 51 l-2 and closed with 1s7 of contract grade;
 Usual activity prevailed in the oats pit a2d the market was exceptionally strong. On initial transactions the demand by shorts was so urgent that prices showed wide fiuctuations. The range on tho July option was one cent on the opening quotations. The chief cause for the urgent buying was in numerous reports of damage by drought to thy now crop. an advance oats stipulated the demand for op; some recess,tNn in prices, but the mar 1 1-4c higher at s5 1-3 Q ss s-s and Provisions were strong on active pur- CTS. Receipts of live hogs were less than had been expected and shipments of hog products were very heavy A> soc at s1s.7b @ s16.77 l-2. ard was l-2 O Sc higher at $s.50.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-06-08
MARKET FOR COTTON
AFTER AND EARLY IRREGULARIT-Y
 RULING IS STEADY.
Dealings More Active and At the Close ]. Prices Are Up 2kto 6 Points With Sales For the Day Estimated
 At 100000.

New York, June 7.-The cotton mar ket was more active today and after some early irregularity ruled general ly steady. with the close steady at a net advance of to 6 points. Sales were estimated at 100000 bales.
 The market opened steady at a de- cline of 2 to 4 points in response 10 lower cables. favorable weather re- ports and expectations of a bearish week end statement as a result of tho short week in the Liverpool market. But there was very little cotton for sale here on the decline and the mar ket soon rallied on coverin~ of shorts and buying of July by the bull lead CTS
 July led the advance and sold up to 10.62 or six points net higher. while other months were 2 to 3 points high CT. The demand seemed to decrease on a scale up and toward midday the market reacted to about the closing fig ures of the previous day, but later ral- lied again on reports of large spot sales from the local stock. The close was within point or two of the best. Sales of $500 bales were reported in the local spot market for consumption and export.
 Receipts at the ports today 6,011 bales against 11.03s last week and 10,- o52 last year. For the week 60.00o
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-06-08
NEW oRTEANs COTroN.

New Orleans, June 7.-SpOts were called firm at yesterdays prices; middling 10 1se; sales were 1,4B0 bales on the spot and 1.100 to arrive. a total of 2.5S0. The demand was good but factors had little for sale and trading was restricted in conse- Guence
 Futures opened quiet at a decline of two to four points on disappointing English ca bles and a good weather map. The under prices showed resistance to bear pressure The good demand for spots and the buying of July by exporters caused considerable short covering and led to talk of a squeeze in July. Toward the closing the active positions were eight to twelve points higher than yesterdays closing. July showing the most strength On the closing the tone was called steady and the list showed net advance for the day of three to ten points.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-06-08
T. l.. JONES, PROMOTER INVESTMENTS LOANS NEGOTIATED,
 No. 10 s. Perry St.

There Is no success which Is half so sat- isfactcry as that won by one's own fore- sight and shrewdness A large measure or of email income. It is the outside investment which works while one sleeps and repro duces itself over and over again: that must do 1t for him. There Is no field of human effort which is productive of immense are paying from 25 per cent. to 500 per cent in dividends per annum are counted by the hundred. No other industry can do this.
 The history of mining does not chronicle conditions such are now known 10 exist at the Capuzaya property. They are unique and amaze the most experienced mining men and experts.
 The stock of the Capuzaya Mining Com pany Is safe investment as First mortgage on the most valuable real estate and 1t will pay ten times as much dividend Nowhere can an investment be found com bining the clements of safety and extraor- dinary large profits as Capuzaya does. Neither fire. flood, famine or pestilence can depreciate it's value