New-York tribune., 1906-11-18
PRIVATE CLOTHES BY w. w. JACOBS

| a respectful distance by the crew. but there was
no sign of Mr. Bliss.
Then idea, horrid idea. occurred to the
cook. Tho color left his cheeks and he gazed
helplessly at the skipper
What Is ttr' bawIed the latter.
The cook, incapable of speech raised trern-
bling hand and pointed to the galley. Tho skip
per started and. rushing to the door, drew II
hastily back.
Mr.. Bliss had apparently finished though he still
toyed languidly with his knife and fork though
loath 10 put them down A half-emptied saucepan
of potatoes stood on the floor by his side. and a
bone. with small fragment of meat adhertng,
was between his legs saucepan lid which
served a dish.
Rather underdone cook" he said severely. al
he met that worthy's horrorstrtcken gaze.
rs that the cabins the mems he's eaten -
vociferated the skipper
Cabins" replied Mr.. Bliss. before the cook
could speak, '1t looked the best Now. has any
body got nice see garr'
He drew back the door the other side of the
galley as he spoke and went out that way. A
move made toward him. but he backed and.
picking up a handspike. swung It round his head
'Iet him be-" said tho skipper. In a choking
voice. 'Iet him be. He'll have to for steal
ing my dinner when get i'm ashore Cook, take
the mons dinner down into the cabin. I'll talk to
you by and by"
He walked aft and disappeared below while rri-
vate Bliss. still fondling the handspike listened
unmoved to lengthy vituperation which Bill
called plain and honest opinion of his behavior.
Wits the last dinner you'll 'ave for some tine -
he concluded. spitefully, 'irll be skilly for you
when you get ashore"
Mr.. Bliss smiled, and. hdgetiug with his tongue,
asked him for the loan OF his toothpiok.
you won't bo using It yourself he urged.
Now. you go below. all Of you, and start the
biscuits there's good men. It's standing
there saying lot o. bad words what left of
when four years old"
He filled his pipe with somo tobacco he had
thoughtfulfy borrowed from the cook before din
ner, and, Cropping into negligent attitude on the
| deck, smoked pacidly with his eyes half-closed.
| The brig fairly steady and the air hot and
slumberous, and. with an easy assurance that no
body would hit him while in that position. he al
| lowed his head to fall his chest and dropped
of into a light sleep.
I It became evident to him the following after
noon that they were nearing Bystermouth. The
skipper contented himself with eying him with
an air OF malicious satisfaction. but the graft
| fed themselves by painting the horrors of his
position in strong oolors- Private Bliss affected
| Indifference but listened eagerly to all they had
| to say with the air Of general considering his
enemy's plans.
1t was source Of disappointment to the crew
that they did not arrive until after nightfal, and
the tide already too low for them to enter the
harbor. They anchored outside. and Private Bliss
despite his position. felt glad as he smelled the
| land again. and the twinkling lights and
houses ashore. He could hear the clatter OF a
belated vehicle driving along the seafront. Lights
on the SUBMITS Of the heights in the background
indicated, Bill said the position OF the fort.
To the Joy OF the men. he partly broke down In
the forecastle that night and In tropical language
severely blamed his parents the school board and
the army for not having taught him to swim. The
last thing that Bill heard sleep closed his
lids was pous resolution the part of Mr.. Bliss
to the effect that all his children should be taught
the art of natation as soon as they were born,
Bill woke up Just before 6. and. hearing a
complaining voice. thought at first that his military
friend was still speaking The voice got more and
more querulous. with occasional excursions into
the profane, and the seaman. rubbing his eyes
| turned his head and old Thomas cropping about
the forecastle-
"Wots the matter with you old 'un9' he de-
manded.
'I can't nnd my trouss" grumbed the old man
"Did you ave 'em on larst night?" inquired BILL
who still half asleep.
Course I did, you fool" said the other snap
pishly.
"Be OWL" said BILL calmly. 'be civil Ar. Won
sure you haven't got 'em now?'
The old man greeted this helpful suggestion with
such volley of abuse that Bill lost his temper
"P'r'aps somebody's got 'em on their bed think
ing they was patchwork quilt" he said coldIv,
'its a mistake anybody might make Have Won
got the jacket?'
II amt got nothing" replied the beyildered ,ld
man. 'cept wot stand UP In"
THAT amt much" said Bill frankly .sWh.r,,.
that blooming sojer7' he demanded suddenly
II don't know where e is, and don't cara" -.
piled the old man. "On deck. I spose"
"Pr'aps 'es got 'em on said the unforrtv,n- .
Bill: "e didn't seem very pertikler sort Of chan
The old man started and hurriedIy ascended IN
the deck He absent two or three u,nu...
and when he returned CONSERVATION was writ large
upon his face.
Hes gone" he spluttered: there amt a sign
of I'm about. and the Hfebelt wot hangs on the
galley as gone too. Wot am TO DOR
We'll. they very old cloes" said Bill sooth-
ingiy. AN you amt bad figger not for your
time O life. Thomas
There's many wooden legged man 'ud be glad
TO change with you" affirmed Ted who had been
reused by the noise. You'll soon get over the
feeling o. shyness. Thomas"
The forecastle laughed encoura gingly and Thomas
who had begun to realize the position toined in
He laughed till the tears ran down his checks and
his excitement began to alarm his friends
Don't be fool. Thomas said Bob anxiou.ly
Il can't help IT, said the old man strugglinu
historically; "its the best joke I've heard'
He's gone dotty." said Ted solemnly II never
card of man larfng like that COS he'd lorst
is cloes"
I'm net lardnS at that" said Thomas. regain.