davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06
Grand Fountain, United Order of True Re-
form (ColOred), Richmond, Va,
September All, 1000.

For the above occasion the Southern
Railway will sell round trip tickets to
Richmond, Va, September 2, 3, and
5th, limited good to return September
10, at rate of one fare plus 25 cents. For
tickets and complete information call
on Southern Railway ticket agents. J.
L. Meek, d. P. A., Knoxville, Tenn.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Tommy" said the teacher reproaCh.
fully, why didn't you take off your
hat to me when you passed me yester-
dayP" l didn't have me hat on,
ma'am, F" replied the boy. Don't tell
me that. / saw you" 81 know you
seen me, but you didn't see me hat.
Dat wuz me brudder's hat 1 had on. -
Catholic Standard aud Times.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

WHAT My boy in iail2 Why, he
wrote me only last week that he was
making good money" well, it was
pretty good for an amateur, but the ex-
perts we're able to note the difference
between 1t and the kind the government
issues. Chicago News.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

"Waiter, bring me some iodoform
soup, a germ proof steak, and some
sterelized potatoes. "Yes, sab. What'l
you have to drink, sah?" 81 guess I'll
have cup OF antiseptic tea. And, by
the way, tell the barkeep to fix me a
Iisterine cocktail for an appetizer. y
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Little Clarence-Pa, why do they call
Mr.. Broadhead a walking encyclopedia?
Mr.. Oallipers-Because my son, like
most men who are full Of wisdom, he is
too poor to own an automobile. Town
Topics.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

"I want to complain of the -four you
sent me the other day. said Mrs. New
lywed, severely. "What was the mat
ter with il, ma'am," asked the grocer.
"It was tough. My husband simply
wouldn't eat the biscuits l made with
it. Philadelphia Ledger.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

'sWas the operation successful, ask
ed the young doctor. "Quite So, re-
Piled the celebrated surgeon. "We
found that the appendix was wholly
unaffected and that he was suffering
with an incurable affection of the gall. :"
Chicago Record Herald.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Scene, on board ship-First passen-
ger Excuse me, but can you tell me
whose berth this is?
Second P. Gan Irishman suffering from
seasickness) BE iabbersl don't know
whose berth it is, but I know whose
death it will be in a minute. = Weekly
Telegraph.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06
Well Worth Trying.

w. H. Brown, the popular pension
attorney, Of Pittsfeld, W, says: "Next
to pension, the best thing to get is
DR.. Kings New Life Pills" He writes:
"They keep my family in splendid
health" Quick cure for headache. con-
stipation and biliousness. 25c. Guar
anteed at II. G. Miller's drug store.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Host ito his guests) The wine you'll
get presently was laid down in my cell
lar on my daughters birth.
Daughter aside to the butler John
wipe the cobwebs off the bottles before
you serve. -Meggendorfer Blaetter.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

And now," said the friend of other
days, "you are rich and independent. 4"
"Well," answered Mr.. Cumrox, 81 am
rich all right, but when mother and the
girls are around I don't take chances
on being too independent. Washing
ton Star.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06
"To Cure a FelOn y

says Sam Kendall, of Phillipsbnrg,
Kan ,'just cover it over with Bucklens
Arnica Salve and the salve will do the
rest" Quickest cnre for burns, boils,
sores, scalds, wounds, piles, eczema,
salt rheum, chapped hands, sore feet
and sore eyes. Only 25 cents at II. @.
Miller's drug store. Guaranteed.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Laird-Well, Sandy, you are getting
very bent. Why don't you stand
straight up like me, man? Sandy-Eh,
mon, do you see that field O. corn over
there? 81 do" "Weel, yell notice that
the full heads hang down and empty
ones stand up.-Glasgow News.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06
National Dental Association and Auxilia-
ries, Atlanta, Ca, Sept. r4-aI.

For the above occasion the Southern
Railway will sell round trip tickets to
Atlanta, Ga, September ~, ID, is, II,
and 10 at rate of one fare plus % cents,
tickets limited good to returned until
September 25th, with extension privil-
lege until October 10, 1906.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Master-And so you are the new
waitress. Has my wife told You your
principal duty here?
Maid-Yes; I am always to keep out
of your ay.-Bombe.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Connecticut Visitor gazing across the
sound toward Oyster Bay)-Is that the
White Squadron we can see simmer
ing over thereP
Democratic Host-No. The presi-
dent is smiling. That's all.-Puck.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Mother-Now, Isidor, go and give
the new governess kiss.
Isidor-No, thank you, not me. I
know her. She will give me slap on
the face like she did papa Wiener
Caricaturen.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

First Mouse-You are wearing med
al, | see. How did You win it?
Second Mouse-I hold the record for
soaring more women than any other
mouse in the nest.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06
TAKE NO SUBSTITUTE.

"Have you any new song that is soft
and mellow" "Well, here's one that
just came in. It's called, Il Love My
Little Oozy, Moozy Moo. That sounds
mushy, doesn't it?"-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Don't think that piles can't be cured.
Thousands of obstinate cases have been
cured by Doan's Ointment. so cents
at any drug store.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

"Generallv debilitated for wears. Had
sick headaches, lacked ambition, was
worn ont and eli run down. Burdock
Blood Bitters made me we'll woman. !"
Mrs. Chas. Freitoy, Moosup, Conn.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

"And Mabel has actually married a
Pittsburg millionaire"
eyes. He seemed to be the only
millionaire she could get. Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Stolla-Did you enjoy your European
trip, my dear?
Bella-Yes, indeed. We sent III
souvenir post cards. Puck.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

BiliousP Feel heavy after dinner?
Tongue coated? Bitter tastep Com
plexion sallow? Liver needs waking
up. Doan's Regulets cure bilious at
tacks. IS cents at any drug store.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

The Horrid Thing The bathing here
is the best I've ever seen.
Ethel-Do you swim?
The Horrid Thing-No; / only look I!
Puck.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Mrs. Newrich of New York-Did you
battle during your recent visit to Allan
tic City?
Mrs. Emerson Saltonstall of Boston
No, had intended to do so, but anoth-
er lady was using the ocean. Life.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

No more crying babies and you al
ways get good nights rest when you
give them DIR. Fahrney's Teething
Syrup. sepoct
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

When teething most babies stomachs
are disordered. DR.. Fahrneys Teeth
ing Syrup cures and prevents this
trouble. sepoc
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Farmers, mechanics, railroaders, la
borers rely on DR.. Thomas Eclectric
Oil. Takes the sting out of cuts, burns
or bruises at once. Pain can not stay
where 1t is used.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Knicker- 1 think the world owes ev.
cry man living.
Booker Perhaps; but he has to take
it out in trade. New York Sun.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

No4l Pullman Sleeping cars Bristol to Chat
tanooga Memphis and New Orleans and from
Chattanooga to Shreveport and Morristown
TO Mobile; also Chattanooga to jacksonville,
and Atlanta to Brunswick. and Charleston
Vi Ing car Bristol o Alfalfa and Atlanta.
No 35carries Pullman Sleeping car Bristol to
Knoxville. Knoxville to Memphis and Chatta-
nooga to Charleston.
No II, Pullman Sleeping cars Morristown to
Chattanooga and Morrlstown to Memphis
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

When did you first become acquaint-
ed with your husband?" "The first
time asked him for money after we
were married, Life.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

"Does your wife care much for fancy
work."
"Does shel She wouldn't wear a
porous plaster without lace and ribbons
on it. milwaukee Sentinel.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Miss Knox-Your conversation, MIR.
Ledden, reminds me of some cham
payne.
Mr.. Ledden-Ahl So sparkling as
all that?
Miss Knox-sNo; but it's extra, dry, =
Philadelphia Ledger.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

spa, what is a uxorious mani" "a
fellow who thinks nearly as much of
his wife, Johnny, as she does of herself.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

CnVn TIT. the cold-cure that does the
work in hours, and will
not make you sick. Try it..
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06
DR.. Phaker-T Take this prescription
I will either kill or cure you.

Patient-But suppose it kills me?
DR.. Phaker-Nothing ventured, moth.
ing gained. My motto is mo cure, no
pay" SO I'm taking chance as we'll as
you. Philadelphia Ledger.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06
SOUTHERN RAILWAY.

Condensed Schedule In eHeO, June 10, 1908.
n. B,-Following schedule figures published
bnly as inform .tion, and are not guaranteed.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

No.12.Pullman Drawing Room Buffet Sleeping
car Chattanooga to New York via Asheyille
and chattanooga to ASheville
No. AZ Pullman Sleeping cars Chattanooga
to New York via Bristol Dining car Chatta-
nooga to e st Radford Va
No. 30 carries Pullman Sleeping car Chatta-
nooga to Salisbury and salisbury TO New York
and from Knoxville to New York via Bristol
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Nos III and lie, Pullman sleeping car be-
tween Asheville and Cincinnati Knoxville and
Louisville. Knoxville and Nashville,
Nos band IS Pullman sleeping IRIS between
Asheville and Knoxville, Bristol and knoxville,
Hartman Jet and Cincinnati, and Da vile
and St Louis. Through coach between Knox
Vile and St Louis.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-09-06

Nos. II and IL carry Pullman Sleeping Cars
betweenNew York and Nashville via Asheville
also between Richmond and Salisbury Norfolk
and Salisbury, ASheville and Memphis,
Nos, IS and 80 carry Pullman Sleepers be-
tween Chattanooga and Salisbury and Sails
bury and New York.
New-York tribune., 1906-06-01
4 FRACTIOUS TEAM.
makers.

The late Mr. Gladstone's historic citation of
Sweden and Norway and of Austria and Hun
gary as ideals of harmonious beneficent and
perpetual union becomes less and less happy
as tlme goes on. The first NAMED pair have
now been completely separated and i'm their
separation are beginning 10 enjoy more real
friendship than they ever had in the davs of
their unequal yOking together As for the
others. while we most sincerely hope they will
not resort 10 outright separation. il must be
confessed that their union is prolific cause of
chickering's and anmosities which seem beyond
the authority Of the sovereign or the Diplomacy
oi statesmen to quell. No sooner is one point
OF difference disposed of than another springs
lhto i+lhg, more Irritating than the last
ohi! Il Few weeks ago the world was congrat-
uElung the Hapsburg sovereign on having GOT
successfully through his spring housecIeaning"
at both Vienna and Budapest The long. fierce
sulie with the Magyars was ended The Ian
suaSe question in the army was disposed of
me suffrage problem was IN the way of sou-
lloh radical aristocrat," commanding the CON
hueii'e oi all parties and promising unbounded
progress and prosperity was Prime Minister
@t vienna For the first time i'm years every
uihg seemed propitious. and the venerable soy
erelgn was able 10 draw n long breath of relief
ana Then, Ike the proyerbial bolt from the blue.
came the Austrian Prime Minister'S resignation.
under circumstances which will make il n diff
cut matter 10 fill his place without arousing re-
newed suspicious and irrita ton between the tvyo
realms
lhese are the circumstances. I'm yindicot tion
of her complete legislative independence Hum
gary wanted a tariff enacted by her own porIi.
ment She was willing that il should he idepti-
cal In terms with that OF Austria II might 6rst
be enacted al Vienna bur IL must he enacted
also at Budapest though il were exclusivel,,
Hungarian; and while I'm Austria II ,nigb, no
called Austrian. or AustrO- Hungarian or an,,
thing that pleased the Austrians beyond the
Lelth IL was to be known as the Uunqarion
taI1n. All that commended itself IN tho KIN,
OF Hungary as reasonable and he agreed 10 a..
ana the tariff bin has been introduced into tho
Hungarian Parliament amid universal annlousa
But the Austrian Prime Minister resigns his Of
nee and throws the Emperors government into
CONFUSION, ostensiby for the sole reasop tha
ne Is unwilling TO have the tariff coIled the
hungarian tariff IN Hungary!
AZ rs queer performance and III that ia tbs
fhne Nitnsters real reason for resigning we
| nust regard IL as inadequate II not acfnaIIv
| insaous. III there Ia another reason no hin,
OF III mas been disclosed. and the most ,lo,u,hI-
spsTnihu huons concerning IT are ominons 1'bs
1eTihAn emperor is about to visit the Emr.aror
King OF Austria-H Hungary on what Is CONFESS
eas poiiueai errand- His doing SO will be little
sn"rt OF distastsfu to Huagarasns. who srs IN.
New-York tribune., 1906-06-01
LAWMAKERS IN DURANGO VILE.

The House of Representatives week or more
ago under the leadership of the Hon Samuel
W Mccall of Massachusetts. rose in its maj
esty and rejected bill-then in the conference
stage-which. as Mr.. Mccall explained. sub
jected Congressman 10 new risks of indictment
and arrest Possibly because the nervous ex
citement of that outburst against Executive and
judicial oppression has not died away, we now
ind some Interesting protests in The Congress
sional Record" against similar high handed
attempt the liberties and immuniues OF
members II appears that two distinguished
Democratic statesmen were subjected TO the
humiliation of being taken into custody by an
assistant sergeantat-arms and hailed before the
bar of the House for absenting themselves
without leave from the House sessions. The
leader Of the minority. Mr. Williams. has been
conducting a filibuster for several weeks.
the theory evidently, that unless he does some
thing startling the country will forget that
there is such body in existence as the House
minority
Last Monday a quorum was lacking. and the
Speaker made out writs for certain abSenteeS
and directed the sergeant-at-arms 10 serve
them. Among the delinquents rounded up We're
the Hon. John Wesley Gaines. of Tennessee.
and the Hon. William w Rucker. of Missouri.
Both took occasion the next day 10 complain
sonal and official dignity. Mr.. Gaines confessed
that he could not for long time realize that
the proceeding was serious one; he thought
he was merely ''Deing twitted" by the func-
uonary who served the arrest warrant Mr..
Rucker denounced the warrant server Il
'usurper" and expressed the unterrifed Opin-
ion that the whole arrest process was foul
and contemplate" But SIR he added with
true Missouri fortitude the officers of this
House may do what they please, and | will
go forth with my head erect. unmOrtified and
unhumiliated 10y anything that be done
in this House
The House plainly owes an apology 10 Messrs.
Gaines and Rucker Statesmen of their calbre
should not hav" been held in durancs. vile of
any sort on any preteXt We hope that Mr.
Mccall will lead another fight 10 vindcate the
endangered prerogativeS of our national law
makers.
New-York tribune., 1906-06-01
.4N IRISH PATRIOT.

There was probably man of his time who
better deserved TO be called an Irish patriot
than Michael Davitr- There were few indeed
who deserved il 50 well aS he. There were not
many who served the Irish Nationalist cause AS
effectively as lie did. There was not one who
served ii more unselfishly more sincerely or
more zealOuSy. There has been no Irish leader
since OCOnnell whose death has been or would
be more regretted by both associates and an
tagOniSts.
All this is to be said with frank recognition of
his faults. We cannot say that he did not
deserve the Imprisonment 10 which he was
condemned. We should hesitate to say TO what
extent he was morally responsible for many of
the crimes of those leagues of which he, was
one of the chief organizers. But that he ever
for moment sought personal profit in either
pelf or place. in any of these things is simplv
unthinkable. He was animated with a pure
unselfish. self sacrificing zeal for what he be-
lieved TO be the best interests of his people. So
II came To pass that he did not hesitate. for
what he regarded as Ireand's sake TO ioin
hands with the very man-Mr Gladstone-who
had sent him 10 prison and who had for years
directed against him prosecution that looked
AT times like persecution.
lie WAS n self made man. of excellent intel
lectual capacity and culture. of feryid and con
vinclng oratorical powers, of discriminating
vision and of uGtirng energy Other men have
had much longer and more eminent careers in
Parliament. and few may have had their
names more conspcuousy connected with the
Irish reform movements OF the last thirty wears.
There Is none whom the Irish NationaIists
should remember with more affection. nor any
IN all the Home Rule ranks whom the most resO-
lutte British UniOnlst may regard with more
respect as an honest and outspOken antagonist
New-York tribune., 1906-06-01
THE SEASIDE PARK NEARING.

The public hearing on the Seaside Park prof.
ect will be held by the Board of Estimate and
Apportionment at the City Hall this after
noon at 2 O'Clock Ii is earnestly TO be hoped
that strong and effective representations VIII
be made by the friends of the scheme, and that
spirit of mingled enterprise and discretion
will prevail in the counsels of the board.
The advisability of creating such park
seems to us beyond question. The desire of
the people in the heated term is largely for
the seashore as witness the multitudes that
daily throng the various coast resorts. The
for health is we'll known and is very great. as
is proved by the happy results nj the seaside
hospitals and sanatoriums which exist on
a small scale New York has spent, and has
wisely spent many millions inland parks.
1t will do well TO spend some small amount on
a great public sanatorium and pleasure ground
the seashore.
Boston not so favorably situated for the rdr
pose as New York. has long maintained such
a park. TO the inestimable benefit of the people.
New York, with greater need of il and with
unrivalled ma tural facilities for il. should
~ do the same even more generous scale.
But IL should make no mistake i'm SO doing No
speculative interests should be permitted TO in
fuence the choice OF site What the people
need is an ample expanse Of genuine sandy
beach. as near as possible to the heart of the
city and as cheapy. quickly and easily acces-
sibIe as possible. Those are the paramount
qualifications If a beach possessing them can
he found within the city limits, the municipal
authorities will do well 10 take prompt steps
toward securing il.
New-York tribune., 1906-06-01
FOREST PROTECTION.

A million dollar forest fire does not rank very
high in the list of such catastrophes. but the
danger TO life and property which ii involved. as
we'll us the unreasonable time of year at which
il occurred makes comment upon the recent
Michigan disaster pertinent. Properly numbered
forests are not ordinarily In such state. after
the spring rains. as to invite the spread of fire.
1t is Il fair assumption that the fires in the
northern peninsula which broke out at Il time
when the trees were full of sap and the humus
was full of moisture, were the result of slash
ings" carelessly left by lumbernen. There is
necessarily much waste in the cutting of timber;
branches of the trees which have been feled only
for their trunks and the wreckage of the trees
which are not cut but damaged by the fall
of the Others-these "slashings' if left to dry.
become menace 10 any forest, ready to spread
the fire that chance or careessnsss may kindle in
their neghborhood
In Europe where scientific forestry is not an
institution of yesterday, and where wood has
higher value placed upon 1t. the removal of this
debris is enforced by law. Minnesota has state
law compelling the lumbermen to burn their
"slashings" and the results. from an expenditure
for this purpose of about 10 cents a thousand feet
have been very beneficial in preventing fires. So,
also. mas the Minnesota system Of fire patrols.
New York spent in 1904 about $4,000 in salaries
ana expenses of superintendent of forests fire
warlens and foresters. and In that year suffered
loss or about $1,000 in destruction of standing
timber and OF 5000 in logs In the same period
the state collected nearly 81 800 in penalties for
setting forest fires. Considering the loss which
Michigan has just sustained for lack of such
provisions, New YOrk's money spent in the pro-
lection of woodlands from fire would seem to
have been we'll invested
New-York tribune., 1906-06-01
At the WHITE HOUSE
from 1-ne Tribune Bureau

(From The Tribune BureauI
Washington. May 31.-Presdent ana "rs -
welt. accompanied by Miss Ethel and WASTE 49,
tin and Miss Carew. returned from ha"P
Portsmouth. Va on the Maynower TINS no',.-as
at 10 o'clock. The up the Potomac -
begun at 7 o'clock last evening, was Ia
perfect weather and was devoid OF inciuo a,
Secretary Loeb has gone to his oio ho"'
bany NJ Y for three days visit
The President had several conferences to-uaS'
the beef fnspection amendment Among ehose ~
consulted him were Senators Carter ana beFer''ee
SNEAKER Cannon and Representative Waos"or'i
After his talk with the President MI Waos"oitn VI
said that the packers would not throw straw in
the path of the measure "AH the packers "an''
he said 'is a fair, square law.
Senator McCreary of Kentucky, called at ,ne
White House to invite the President to attend the
commencement exercises OF the State College a,
Lexington on June T. The President thanked sena-
tor McCreary for the invitation. but said tnat ne
would be able to attend
Among the other callers at the White House We're
Represe ntatives Parsons, Greene. Cole ana GURUS
and Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph ID. Burlington ana MFs
Charles NJ Horton. of Fall River. Mass MT bui-
fngton and Mrs Horton are son ana daushter OF
the late Representative James Burlington