Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-06-02
MANY WEATHER JOKES
Shafts of Wit Aimed at Luck
less Prophets.
VALUE OF THE FORECASTS
Their Worth is Recognized by Ameri-
can Courts.
FIGURE IN $500 LEGAL CASES
Prophecies of Dire Disaster Made by
cold Probs''-The Records EN-
ployed in Murder Cases.
VAL E OF THE FORECASTS
[GURE IN $500 LEGAL CASES
Written for The Star.


One Of the patient collectors of humble
statistics, of whom the woods in America
are full, calculated one time that 1000 jokes
are printed daily in the United States about
the weather These are the jokes direct.
Four hundred of them are based daily on
the motive simple or primeval in which A
asks, What does the weather man say the
weather will be today?' Rainy" re-
plies. Thank heaven" says A; then I
won't need to bother about umbrellai'
This joke no doubt dates to the time when
the missing link first began to lose his fur,
and thus became susceptible to the changes
In the weather.
Most of the remaining jokes are based
on the motive sinister or sanguinary. A,
usually cheerful fat man, inquiries earn
estly: us 1t hot Cor cold. or rainy enough
for your" Thereupon B kills him. This
joke is losing its popularity slowly. In the
course of a century or so 1t probably Will
be supplanted entirely by the joke that has
for Its motive the less inhuman idea that
the thermometer is falling rapidly because
the nail on which 1t is hung has given
way.
Whatever form 1t may take, however,
the weather will remain the great staple for
the American joke artisan. Rob him of the
borrowed umbrella and the mistaken wealth
er prophet and he would disappear like
that other joker the brontosaur, which set
the cave-palaces of the bon ton of the
glacial age a-roar by the fascinating In
quiry. when does a sore hurt most?" the
answer being, of course, when 1t Is a
brontOSaur"
The poor weather man cannot get back
at the jokers at all. In response to the
1000 daily masterpieces of wit and humor
he can only issue his stereotyped prognos-
tication for the next day, well knowing
that the entire country will kindly overlook
the three hundred correct ones to pounce
with angry laughter on the sixty five tn
correct ones Tor sixty-six for leap years.
But there Is one field where the weather
man Is no joke. There he is heard with
Difference, and his utterances compel re-
spect. True he Is not asked for prophecies
in this field. but only for his story Of the
past: yet even that must be inexpressibly
consoling to a professional man whose life
work is viewed generally more popular
pastime than as a scientific achievement
This field Is the law court-the greatest
American amusement after base bali. The
weather man there is an authority He Is
not called to analyze the weather that is
spelling the judges temper or setting the
intelligent jury to sleep. He Is called to
swear to what the weather was on certain
specific days and hours In the past
$500 Cases Decided.
In the past ten years more than $500
cases have been decided In American courts
on the evidence furnished by the weather
records.
sonal injury cases, and many times most
carefully prepared suit for damages, artls-
tically arranged with suffering plaintiff,
witnesses and circumstantial evidence. has
been depiorably ruined by the records of
the weather bureau.
On the other hand, defendant corporations
have met their Waterloos through the same
records. Thus one great street railway