davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29
"Tha:.k God, They Hit"

Golfers
AS an important example OF cheer
fulness Addison names a rural magnate
who, in order to promote optimism
in the world, offered cash prize to the
contestant who could grin the longest,
the farthest, and the most expresslvely.
Optimists in large numbers were
entered for the standing broad grin.
And among them there were lew
pessimists. The first notable contest
ant was Frenchman who, In grlnnlng,
showed row of enormous white teeth
like an octave of piano keys; the Sec
ond (nationality unknownt offered a
smile so perilous as to cleave his lace
into chasm that stretched even to the
pregnant hinge of his spine. Alter the
mediocre performance OF several OBJ
scure smilers there came an English
cabman who astonished the judges by
a grin which, in depth, was like the
yawning OF nut-cracker. This last
exhibition would, no boubt, have taken
the purse had not a pessimlst (from
Russia no doubt burst into the room
and clamored Tor his right to try for
the prize. This fellows skill was mir
aculous. Expelling every trace OF
cheerfulness from his face, he limited
himself to wonderful feats in the way
of grim grins, sour smiles, paroxysms
OF ironic merriment and ghoulish levlty
The effort was, artlstically 80 superb that
the donor of the prize, although grud-
gingly, pinned the blue ribbon to the
coat OF the pessimist. And thus cheer
full ness was defeated on its own grounds
Perhaps we might apply this parable
to our own anniversary Of Thanksgiv
ing, when the Chief Executive has
figuratively, offered prize turkey tt
the citizen who can, for the space o
twenty-four hours, look and think tht
most pleasantly. The ordinary cit!zer
may be thankful, in an ordinary sort
of way, for plain, domestic virtues ant
spiritual graces Andrew Carnegie ma
be thankful for gifts delivered and 10
Cannon for presents recelyed-but ma.
not the prize, after all, 60 to som
chronic pessimist who, counting hi
diminished blessings, exclaims like MI
Blossoms old lady: "I've got only wv
teeth, but thank God they hit"?
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

The best treatment tor Indigestion
and troubles OF the stomach is to rest
the stomach 1t can be rested by starva-
tlon or by the use of good dlgestant
which will digest the food eaten, thus
taking the work off the stomach. At
the proper temperature, single tea
spoonful of Kodol will wholly digest
5000 grains of food. 1t relieves the
present annoyance, puts the stomach
In shape to satisfactorily perform it's
functions. Good for indigestion, sour
stomach, fatulence palpitatlon of the
heart and dyspepsia. Kodol is made in
strict conformity with the National
Pure Food and Drug Law. Sold by
Il II Whifehaad Il Co
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

"For years starved, then / bought
so cent bottle Of KodOl Dyspepsia
Cure and what that bottle benefited
me all the gold In Georgia could not buy.
| kept on taking 1t and In two months
i went back to my work as machlpist.
In three months l was as well and
hearty as I ever was. still use little
occasionally as find it blood purifier
and a good tonic. May you live long
and prosper" &C. N. Cornell, Roding,
Ga. Aug. 81, 1906. Kndol is sold here
by E. T. Whitehead & Co.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29
FOR OVER SIXTY YEARS.

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has
been used for sixty years by millions OF
mothers for their children while teeth
ing, with perfect success. 1t soothes
the child, softens the gums, allays all
pain, cures wind collie, and Is the best
remedy for Diarrhoea. 1t will relieve
the poor little sufferer Immediately
Sold by druggists in every part OF the
world. Twenty-Five cents bottle. BE
sure and ask for Mrs. Wlnslow's Sooth-
ing Syrup.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

A sour stomach bad breath, pasty
complexion and other consequences of
a dlsorderd digestion are quickly 1e-
moved by the use of Rings Dyspepsia
Tablets. Two days treatment free.
E. T. Whitehead & Co., Scotland Neck,
Leggett's Drug Store, Hobgood.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

-Teacher-"And so, Willie, you
don't know what matrlmony means?"
Willle-"No nam. All | know is that
L We, beard pa an ma talking about it
an say in they've had all they want of
it, Boston Com mercial Bulletin.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

Good tor eyerythlng salve Is used for
and especially recommended for piles.
That ia what we say OF DeWitt's
Witch Hazel Salve. On the market
for years and standby in thousands of
families. Get DeWltt's. Sold by T..
T. Whitehead & Co.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29
FAMOUS STRIKE BREAKERS.

The most famous strike breakers In
the land are DR.. Kings New Life Pills.
When liver and bowels 60 on strike,
they quickly settle the trouble, and the
purifying work goes right on. Best
cure for constipation, headache, and
dizziness. 25c at E. T. Whitehead &
Co druggist.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

-(Bobbit had been studying his
dear old grandfather's wrinkled face
for long time). well Bob, do you
like my face?" Yer grandpa; it's an
awfully nice face. But why don't you
have it ironed ?"-Illustrated.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

The greatest thing in the world Is
politeaess. And 10 schooling is nee
essary to be agreeable. Simply have
little consideration for others and be
quiet and modest Globe.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

Ministers Wife - awake up
There are burglars in the house
John" "Well, what OF it. Let them
find out their mistake themselves. -
Christian Register.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

-Bragley tells me that he got mixed
up in scrap on election day." "Did be
win out?" OF course if he hadn't he
wouldn't have said anything about It,"
Catholic Standard and Times.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

Your stomach churns and digests
the food you eat and If foul, or torpid,
or out of order, your whole system sui
fers from blood poison. HOLSTERS
Rocky Mountain Tea keeps you we'll.
35 cents, Tea or Tablets.
E. T. Whitehead & Co.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

Taken as directed, 1t becomes the
greatest curative agent for the lellef of
suffering humanity ever devised.
Such is HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain
Tea. 35 cents. Tea or Tablets.
E. I. Whitehead & Co.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29
HAD A CLOSE CALL.

"a dangerous surgical operation, in
yolylng the removal of malignant ul-
Ger, as large as my hand, from my
daughters hip. was prevented by the
application OF Buckten's Arnlca Salve."
SAYS A. G. Stlckel, of MiIetus, w. Va.
persistent use of the Salve completely
cured it." Cures Cuts Burns rnd lnJu-
ries pc at E. T. Whitehead q Co.
drnppiat. ~
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29
Give children \ remedy with a nleas

Give children a remedy with pleas
ant taste. Don't force unpleasant medi-
cine down their throats, Kennedy's
Laxative (containing) Honey and Tar
IS most pleasant to take. Children like
it, and as relief for colds, coughs, etc.,
there is nothing better. No opiates
Conforms to National Pure Food and
Drug Law. Sold by E. T. Whitehead
& Co.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

Are you troubled with piles? One
application of ManZan Will give I'M
mediate relief.
T. Whitehead & Co., Scotland Neck
Leggett's Drug Store, Hobgood.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

-Ethel-"What do you mean, Jack !,
when you say you have hall dozen
sisters? 1 Thought you didn' have any ?"
Jack-"Well, you see, Ethel, | have
been refused by half dozen women"
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

In every cline It's coTors are unturled
Its fame has spread from sea to sea !;
Be not surprised II IN the other world,
You hear of Rocky Mountain Tea.
EFT. Whitehead e Co.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

-Wigg-"I wondsr why Henpecke
doesn't apply for divorce" Wagg-
tHe says he would, only his wife won't
let him. "-Philadelph Record
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

Visiting iniquity with stripes Is
sanctioned by the Psalmlst as we'll as
by the present political situation
New York Mail.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

Need a good cathartic? A pill is best.
Say pill like DeWitt's Little Early
Rlsers. About the most reliable on the
market. Sold by E. T. Whetehead &
Co.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

Yes sir L can say that | am a SELF
made man." "Heavens, how you must
suffer from remorse.-Boston Trans
cripu.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29
The Hell-Bound Train-A Dream.
Published by Request.

Published by Request
THE following poem was found on
the street between Spencer and Sails
bury. and is supposed to have been
lost by some unknown traveller on his
Journey from the latter place to spen-
Ger.
Tom Gray lay down on the bar-room
floor,
Having drank so much he could drink
no more,
So he fell asleep with troubled brain
And dreamed that he rode On hell
bound train.
The engine with blood was red and
damp,
And brilliantly lit by birthstone lamp
An imp, for fuel, was shoveling bones
While the furnace rang with thous-
and groans;
The boiler was filled with lager beer,
And the Devsl himself was the en-
SluOcls
The passengers made such a motley
crew,
Church members, atheists, GENTLE and
Jew,
Rich men in broadcloth and beggars
in rags,
Handsome young ladies with withered
old hags,
Yellow and black, red, brown and white,
All chained together, what a horrible
sight,
While the train dashed on at an awful
pace,
The hot winds scorched their hands
and face.
Wilder and wilder the country grew,
And faster and faster the engine flew,
Louder and louder the thunder crashed,
And brighter and brighter the light
ming flashed;
Hotter and hotter the air became,
Till the clothes were burned from each
quiyering frame.
Then in the distance there rose such a
yell,
cha ha /" croaked the Devil, "we're
nearing hell"
Then, oh how the passengers shriekeo
with pain,
And begged the Devil to stop the train
But he capered about and sang with
glee,
And laughed and joked at their agony
"My faithful friends, you have done ny
/ work,
] And the Devil can never a ay-da.
shlrk,
You have bpllled the weak and robbed
the poor;
And the starving brother turned from
your door;
You have laid up gold where the can
ker rusts,
And given free vent to your f1eshI'
lusts;
You have justice scorned and corrup
ton sown,
And trampled the laws Of nature down
You have drank and ricted and mul
oered and lied,
And Knocked at God in your hell-bor
pride;
| You have paid full fare, so I'll carr
II you through,
| For it is only right you should g
/ your due;
] Why, the laborer always expects b
hire,
So I'll land you safe in the lake Of fir
| Where your flesh shall roast in tt
| flames that roar,
And my imp torment you more an
more"
Then Tom awoke with an agonized or
| His clothes soaked with sweat and b
hair standing high;
Then he prayed as he never prayed b
tore
To be saved from drink and the Devi
power,
j And his VOWS and prayers were not
vain,
For he meyer more rode on heIi-boul
train.
A. W. H., in Charlotte Observer.
Spencer, N. c., Oct. 81, 1906.
! Need a good cathartic? A pill is be
Say pill like DeWitt's Little Eal
. Rlsers. About the most reliable on
. market. Sold by E. T. Whetehead
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

-"Say Bill, how ls the world treat
ing your" ''Not at all, pay my own
fare"
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29

Chequely-Money, young man, mon
ey can do anything. Freakin--Excuse
me, sir, it can't get fellow in our col
lege eleven.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-11-29
The Publishers
Claims Sustained
UNITED STATES COURT OF CLAIM

UNITED SIAIES S0Ohb Sf SLb%hUo
The Publishers of Webster's international
Dictionary allege that it lis, in fact,the popu-
lar Unabridged thoroughly ro-edIted IN every
detail, and vastly enriched in every part, with
the purpose of adapting it to meet tho larger
and severer requirements OF another genera
tion." 1t,
We are of the opinion that this allegation
most clearly and accurately describes the
work that has been accoI1plished and the
result that has been reached. The Dictionary,
as it now stands, has been thoroughly re-
edited in every detail, has been corgecttt ~
every part, and is admirably adapted TO meet
the larger and severer requirements OF
generation which demands more OF popular
pathological knowledge than any generation
that the world has ever contained.
1t is perhaps needless to add that we refer
to the dictionary in our judicial work aN ot
the highest authority in accuracy OF dCttnl-
ton; and that in the future as III lie past IL
will be the source of constant reference.
CHARLES c. MOTT, Chief Justice.
LAWRENCE WELDON,
JOHN DAVIS.
STANTON J. pEETIE,
CHARLES i. IICWltY,
Judges.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-12-27
Cameron T;d;nss
A happy New Year all.

A happy New Year all.
Born to Joseph Johnston and wife
a boy, December 14th.
Thomas Rutherford and family
visited with Fred Tessman and wife
Sunday.
Preaching every Sunday night at
Eden Valley during the meetings
now held in Gray.
John Zion and wife and Mrs.
f. M. Zion, Mrs. Charlie Zion all
visited at the William Parrot home
Sunday.
Bert johnson departed for Dixon,
Nebraska, Saturday morning to
spend the holidays with William
McCaw and family.
Mrs. William Parrott has the care
of her brother, Will Zion who ar
rived here Saturday evening from
the hospital in Denver, Colorado,
whose health is very poor.
The corn shelters were kept busy
in Cameron last week Smelling for
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-12-27
Clock to Control liohts.

Consul Albert Halstead OF Birming-
ham reports that an automatic gas
controller has been patented and is
now on sale in England which may
materially lessen the cost of public!
lighting in the municipalities of the
United States if in practical operation
it fulnlls the claims of it's owners.
The controller is said to be adapt
able to any type of incandescent burn
er, to fit any lamp and to be instan-
taneous in it's lighting and extinguish-1
ing. The mechanism consists Of a.
clock which can be SO set as to light,
the gas each night and extinguish it;
each morning, so as to make an autol
matte variation of the time of lighting.
and extinguishing according to the
calendar. In short, by means of Al
chart, the street lights are turned ON
and off, lighted and extinguished att
a different moment each day through
out the year, according to the season.,
This is an advantage, it is claimed
over any other controller now on the!
market, one adjustment year being
sufficient
1t is claimed that the apparatus
would require no attention exceptl
winding once a fortnight, and that!
once set it would not have to be reset
for a year. The gas can be turnedI
on and off in the ordinary way-Sci-
entific American.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-12-27
Created a Scare.

SfSdtSO d SCdfS.
Uncle Hezekiah was very much
riled.
"These here Boston gals make me
tired with their big words" he confid-
ed to the man who was painting a
sign on the fence.
What now?" asked the latter.
why, the other morning that Bos-
ton niece of mine rushed in the din
ing room and said there was an inn.
pecune' out in the yard. Everybody
got scared, the children cried. the
cook upset the dishes and grabbed
the shotgun. thought sure some kind
of wild beast had escaped and got
in the yard. because circus passed
along the road the day before. I tell
you I was expecting to hear blood.
curdling roar and see shining teeth.
and just wabbled in my boots"
And what did you see?" asked the
sign painter.
What did I see7 Why, nothing in
the world but a poor, half-frozen
tramp who was looking for hand
out. He was what that Boston gal
had called an impecune.'
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-12-27
Those Courteous Dons,

Il read in a southern newspaper
about the passengers who hail from
Georgia" remarked a traveller. per
sonally, I have never met the simon.
pure Georgian, but I know a set Of
men that can beat even them for DO.
likeness. They are the high-class
Spaniards who are accustomed to
travelling.
Just watch man of that type and
you will find he invariably bows to
the rest of the passengers upon enter
ing and leaving car. Such extreme
courtesy impresses the rushing, push.
ing American crowd as sure pass.
port to an insane asylum. The Span
lard, for his part, is convinced that
the noise and hustle will land the
American contingent in the same
place, and in spite of ridicule he
perseveres- in his habit of bowing."-
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-12-27
Saved from the Flames.

IF all the deeds of dog heroes came
to light an account of them would fill
many volumes" says Chums.
"a gentleman who owned a pair of
very fine horses possessed also St.
Bernard dog which was deeply at
tached to the animals One night
Bruno, the dog, awakened the family
by furious barking, and it was soon
discovered that the stables were on
fire.
The owner unlocked the door.
dashed in, and at great personal risk
released one of the frantic horses and
led it out. He then found that it was
Impossible to return for the other, ow-
ing to the violence of the flames. At
that moment he was astonished to see
his dog appear leading the horse, the
end of the halter rope dangling be-
tween his teeth.
Investigation showed that the 81.
Bernard had actually bitten the rope
through in order to save one of its
friends from so horrible death"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-12-27
North Branch

Rev. Aten closed his meetings at
Bethel Friday night.
The Xmas tree and program at
Bowman Chapel Monday night was
reported a complete success.
Mrs. Shoesmith, daughter and son
returned Friday evening from their
trip TO Illinois. They report an enjoy
able visit.
The young people are improving
the time evenings, down at the
reservoir skating. The ice is in fine
condition.
Miss Maud Parsons who teaches
the Button school in this township,
had tree, Monday evening fol
her school.
Elmer Artist made trip to Adair
Thursday to meet his sister Clara
who has been attending school in
Des Moines
The Epworth League Cabinet met
at the parsonage Wednesday evening
and appointed leaders for their de-
votional meeting for the next six
months.
John McNary of Wichita well
known in this community buried a
child in the North Branch cemetery
Sunday the 23rd. The family has the
sympathy of this community.
Leonard Dove and Will Ater
returned home from Indianola, where
Len is a Junior and Will Is a Fresh.
man in Simpson College. Ask them
how the walking is between here and
Adair.
Ethel Shideler and Maud Headlee
returned Friday eve from Panora,
where they have been atten ling the
Guthrie County High School. They
have a two weeks vacation tor the
holidays.
Dorcas Aten who is teaching the
Providence school, two miles south
of this place, has q vacation from
Xmas to New Years day in which she
will attend the State Teachers. Assn
in Des Moines.
Mrs. Herbert Shoesmith received
a telegram Sunday announcing the
death OF her sister at Ebert Colo.
She drove to Atlantic where she
took the flyer Monday morning. Her
many friends deeply sympathize with
her IN this sad bereavement. Her
daughter Mary of Des Moines will
keep house during her absence.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-12-27
uNwRITTEN PAGE OF HISTORY.
incident Said to Have Caused cIay's
Defeat for Presidency.

An unwritten page in the history of
American politics came to light at the
city hall in Minneapolis when Mary
Hunter, colored, 95 years old and a.
former slave, gave her version of the
failure of Henry Clay to be elected to
The presidency of the United States in.
1882.
She witnessed the famous banquet
given by the state of North Carolina
% Mr. Clay at Asheville. Hundreds Of
tables were spread under the trees,
Ind no greater enthusiasm was ever
evoked by political event than was
displayed there. Nearly all the prom
inent men of the south were there,
and the name of Henry Clay was on.
every tongue
His election seemed assured until
cloud of scandal crossed the hori-
ION. Clay, she said, fell in love with
beautiful octoroon, who had been
freed by her master in North Carolina.
The secret was exposed few deys
after the banquet, and for mar
the magnificent girl wasA
all gossip in that - -suntry.
my mother knew the girl WE'LL"
said Mary Hunter, "a-,d the talk start
ed caused her to disappear. No one
ever heard of her after that
In order to save the social standing
of those who attended the great feast
the matter was not spread broadcast,
but leading politicians of both the
south and north we're asked to pre-
vent Henry Clay from ever occupying
the presidential chair.
How their work succeeded is mat
ter of history in North Carolina, but
when Clay was defeated the subject
was dropped and no one cared to
probe it further
Mary Hunter went to Minneapolis
when the Sixth and Seventh Minneso-
ia regiments returned at the close OF
the civil war. She has worked nearly
every day since she was seven years
old and still earns her living by hard
day work. A short time ago she in
jured her back, and for the first time
in her life, she has asked for charity.
Il must work or will die" she told
Edward Ekman, of the poor depart
ment. ''If can get little wood and
something to eat for few days will
be up and working like always have.
done.'
Mary Hunter has been employed by;
several prominent families, who say
she is wonderfully bright and active.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-12-27
Greeley ToMnsh;p
Happy New Year;

Happy New Year;
Chas. Baird shelled corn Wed.
Brink What an ominous ex-
traction.
Tom Egan shelled 500 blu. corn
Saturday evening.
Ed. William was counting in
Audubon last week.
Many from this vicinity attended
the P.L. Carter sale in Melville.
Sam Atkinson ls hauling hay over
to his future home near Hamlin.
Oscar Miller's little daughter Olive
was doctOred by DR.. Rendleman.
VIM. Rucker bought fine team
of horses at the Perry Carter sale.
James Egan bought some blooded
Plymouth Rock BOOSTERS of III.
Covault.
About ninety head more of Mo.
cattle have arrived at the Frank
Duvall feed yard
Frank Duvall's big corn cribs are
absorbing the most of the surplus
corn from this vicinity.
Harry Covault invested in
in some fine Herefords at the Carter
sale in Melville Dec. 49,.
Mr.. and Mrs. Arthur Anciaux are
the elated parents of a little baby
boy. The father ss gaining in weight
rapidly.
Bad Roads and vicious weither
reduced the attendance at at the U. B.
Revival to the vanishing point. Fri
December IA.
Mr.. Mrs. Chas. Boehme. of
Audubon township, were stranded
in Greeley over night on their way
home from Carter Sale.
There was a man called "BR1NK''
His brains got in kink,
And really one would think
He was the missing link.'
A strange and serious form Of sick
nees attacked the cattle brought
down from the Brown ranch to pick
out Clint Fuckers stock field.