Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1906-05-06
Spring zephyrs.

See do guy wild de last summers hatF'
Spring zephyrs.
But. after all. ten-cents-a-can-beer In
Chicago should not be regarded as
national calamity.
Looping the loop" and jumping
the gap" are no longer the most hair
erecting feats OF the modern circus.
The dip OF death" Is now the acme
OF thrillers The act comes from
down a steep incline, around loop.
up a sudden curve. ties a knot in the
air, strikes another incline with a
smash and goes spinning away 20 the
fnale-wherever that is, The gay
lady chauffeur complains that
''the dip OF death" gives her a head
ache. II gave the FIRST woman who
tried II. a sl2 conn.
George AIDES COLLEGE Widow" Is
Ihowing In Chicago. George Is being
kown In Europe Both AIDE and his
widow" are very much alive. al.
thOugh at FIRST thought this might
Been a gross misstatement No. she
IL not a widow-she Il George
Adea widow. Yes. and AIDE alive,
Aw. gwan. what's tn matter with you
don't yer read the papersl
As 10 spelling reform. let's adopt a
+. rule that spelling at IT. shall be con.
sidered as correct a. spelling H."
n the desire Is TO save the time ordi-
narily expended searching the diction-
airy. wouldn't this solve the prob
lem? Another plan OF reformation
would be 20 shoot the ''ie" out OF
"mien" and the "ei" out Of weird"
II Mr.. Carnegie hesitates about CON-
hitting murder in cold blood. sup
pose he pass the gun 10 me. It's per.
sonal matter with Uncle BY"
II you are sufficiently frightened
over the coal strike. better put your
next winters coal In now.
II will never do 20 let the prune-
serving landiaiy read that article
about the French miners subsisting
20 days on bark and chopped hay.
Neigh, height
Just 10 rub II into the theatrical trust.
Sarah Bernhardts successful tour OF
Texas In a circus tent was preceded
by an ex.prssident OF the Press HUI
morists' association. who acted as ad.
vance man. The Divine Sarah made
'em take a joke this time. all right,
all right
That 1900 ton battleshlp would
make a nice watchcbarm for J. Ham.
Lewis. Chicago's pink-whiskered cor
poration counsel.
II il reported that n lady admirer
has sent Speaker Joe Cannon a wash
cloth" This reminds me that while
all girls cannot be beautiful. they may
Mt least keep their ears cieanl
Had a bite YETI
A Chicago woman complains 10 the
newspapers because she loses her rub
hers In the mud while crossing the
street. These aesthetic new arrivals
make a man Tired. What's a Chicago
A street crossing for. I'd like to knowl
The truly philosophical man who
has taken a coin with a hole in Il.
will whistle softly 90 himself and
make a watchcharm OF H. The fnan.
cier would probably utilize the same
coin In the purchase Of a doughnut
While endeavoring 20 outwit the po-
lice. a Chicago saloonkeeper has
solved a heretofore knotty problem
Above the salOonkeeper's maison-de-
joie Is a gambling room where the
hlue.coated minions OF the law are
prone TO interfere. To give the alarm
an electrical piano Is stationed In the
bar.room below. AZ the arrival OF the
police. the barkeep stealthlly pushes
the button. the piano pipes mp. Whoa.
lou aAA Ah' NahNtfAH
their getaway. So much for the pI.
ano as a warning TO the lswless. but
has Il occurred TO you that the piano
must be still AZ all other times? Why.
then. not introduce the piano warning
IN fats as a protection against burg.
lars? IL would thus be a double
blesssing-no losses from marauders
And there Is the yawping soprano!
e-couldn't we use her as warning
against smallpox That would hold
her for awhilel
Winter n gone:
Springtimc IL here.
Now o. the time
For strong book beer'
Gesundheit
He told her he was on IRE with love