Douglas Island news., 1906-02-21
STROLLER SENDS REGRETS
To THEODORE ROOSEVELT, President of
 the United States of America.

the United States of America.
 Dear Slr:-
 Your invitation to the Stroller to attend the wedding at your house on the l7th instant was duly re- ceived and highly appreciated and the Stroller takes his typewriter on his knee to acknowledge it's receipt and express his regrets at not being able to accept.
 It is very kind of you to ask the Stroller to come right to the White House on his arrival, and make it his home during his stay in the capital, but even if he could go, it would be impos- ing on your good nature to accept your proffered hospitality. This will certain ly be busy spring at your house,as by the time the wedding is over and the rice has been swept off the walk leading to the front gate, the season for making soft soap will have arrived and to fire a biz soap kettle and look after affairs of state at the same time is no pair of spoons in lovers retreat.
 While the Stroller has never been either father-in-law or step-mother, he can readily appreciate the responsi- bilities of the positions, and now that you are about to become the former, you will do we'll to remember that your success or failure wiE be watched by eighty millions of people.
 All the time preparations for the wedding are going on you will doubt less feel an insignifcance you never before realized. Your opinion as to whether dress needs tuck here or a reef taken in it there will not be asked and your suggestions about calking seams or hammering down crown sheets will be only hooted if you are sufficiently foolish to offer them.
 But when the guests begin to arrive the evening of the wedding is when your responsibility will begin.
 You will be expected to install d temporary bar in the room adjoining the gentlemen's hat and coat room but you must exercise discretion in your invitations to that particular room and also what you offer your different guests. Mineral water or cold tea for ministers and very young men, light wine for first term congressman while for old politicians, military and news paper men Cyrus Noble, jesse Moore or Old Kentucky Bourbon will be all that is needed. Any of the latter can drink out of the bottles if you are short of glasses.
 After the wedding the bills will hold you for while, but even after they are all settled your responsibility as a father-in. law will not cease. The for tune which the Stroller is informed is now your future son-in-law's may take wings and fly away and "Nick" may bring his family home to live with you and then you will be in the same boat with Bill Nye's industrious boy. Bills story was as follows:
 "There was once a boy who supported his widowed mother, six elder and two younger sisters. The boy was very in dustrious and by digging wells in day ight and taking in washing at night he managed to keep the wolf from the door But when the six elder sisters got married and brought their husbands home to live, the poor boy had to labor all the more assiduously."
 As "Nick" has passed the period of youths first wild burst, the Stroller does not apprehend that he will be other than a model n-in-law. Anyhow, your daughter has the reputation of being an eminently sensible girl and she has no doubt seen enough at home to teach her not to be too exacting with a man.
 On receipt of your kind invitation the Stroller mailed a small wedding present, yard of Irish linen. At least he bought it at store where the deliv- cry man looked Irish.
 After the wedding and soap-making is over and you have had time to take blow, the Stroller would be pleased to have you write and tell him how you pulled through your busy season. Also, please state if there is anything left on the sideboard as the Stroller contem- plates trip east sometime between now and the end of your term.
 Incidentally, (and in confdence) if