The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-09-11
TO THE VOTERS!

4
mind on the monster and momentous
questions which have been brough'
Ibefore YOU so ably as vital issues by
the editorialists of the political jour
nails. The time is short, but, aided oS
the massive intelligence thrust upon
you day and night by the battling pen
men it should not be difficult to make
up your mind how to vote.
However, in order that the readers
of The Statesman may gain the pom
derous ideas in more condensed form
we take the liberty to clarity the po-
litical atmosphere just a little and
place the burning issues clearly before
them. In so doing we do not wish to
| be considered in the class of the bulg-
| ing foreheads. We realize the apparent
| egotism and deprecate the seeming
presumption in attempting to dissect
and analyze the copious thoughts of
our brothers of the warning type
writer's. 'Tis not for we humble
quillists to scale the mighty cliffs of
ponderous verbosity, or ascend to the
rhetorical landings so ably held by
the devilsh ones.
But in our meek and lowly way we
may attempt to do unto those en-
perors of space as Mr.. Carlyle did I'M
to Dante-translate, with fitting def
erence, just one little canto of the
political inferno. With this explana-
ton and apology will we now proceed.
In the first instance, by careful
perusal of the oceans of editorial lava
flowing from the furnaces of gray
matter in the craniums eve came
near to saying microcephalic craniums)
of the editorialists, we are firmly con-
WINGED the primaries are to be held
next Thursday. The order has been
made and is immutable.
Now then: Starting from this firm
premise we may prognoisticate that
these primaries be held for the pur-
pose of choosing delegates to sit in a
convention to convene at a later date
In this convention will be chosen can
laf g, o1So
from constable up to local boss and
guardian of the oil room.
Just at present the majestic office
of constable does not appear to be a
burning issue. Therefore, we will not,
at this time, discuss it. We may con-
slider it eliminated"
But The one gigantic issue is the
Boss. Without a Boss we could do
nothing. We would know not how to
vote. Voting, we would know not who
to appeal to for a job, or the price.
Therefore it is the Boss with which
we are most concerned. Irrigation,
rifle ranges, army stations, or public
buildings, are as pin worm to a
python-a "snit" to a brewery 'Tis the
Boss we would have first
There are several candidates for the
position of Boss. Any one
of them would make a good Boss.
hn IND fbor nfI
perhaps, but they would any and all
be efficient
A Boss is a profound admixture, diff
ficult to analyze, but easy to ap-
proach. Some Bosses are born Others
are made. Still others grow on curb
stones. Occasionally one breaks into
the newspaper business and becomes a
"Bunc." But that doesn't destroy his
value as a Boss
The burning question for the voter
to consider is which kind of a Boss
he would prefer. Here is where the
devilish editorialist gets in his work.
He can, will, and does tell you which
Boss to choose. 1t is an art to create
and exhibit the PAGES of a Boss. Sucn
art should not be wasted.
When you get up in the morning
and read that you must vote for the
Boss that is in-go at once and vote
for him. And when you have burned
the midnight oil in reading about the
other Boss that is out you are to vote
for-hasten to cast your ballot for him.
Should you happen to meet any
other Bosses running around loose
or holding up the curbstones-why
vote for them.
Vote for every Boss you may find.
Vote early and often. 1t will make all
the Bosses happy, will elevate you to
the proud position of being bossed ana
permit you to point with pride to at
least one as your particular Boss.
Approach the polls firmly and calm
ly next Thursday. Do not be diverted