davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Simple Exclamation.

Mike and Pat worked for a wealthy
farmer They planned to turn bur-
glars and steal the money which the
farmer had hid in one of the rooms Of
his house. They waited until mid
night, then started to do the job.
In order to get the money they had
to pass the farmers bedroom. Mike
says: "I'll go first, and if it's all
right you can follow and do just the
same as IL
Mike started to pass the room
Jus as he got opposite the door the
floor creaked. This awoke the farmer
who called out: who's there?"
Mike answered with a 'meaow'
(imitating a cat). The farmers wife
being awake. too said: ooh, John
it's the cat" and all was quiet.
Now Pat started to pass the door
and as he got opposite 1t the floor
creaked again. The farmer called out
again, louder than before: who's
there?"
Pat answered.: Another cat"
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
THE CARE OF AWNINGS.
Do Not Roll Them Up When It Rain
or When the Dew Is
Falling.

It is in the line Of the small things
the home mistress has on her mind
to know how to care for awnings.
They are costly to begin with, and
, the weather plays such havoc In de-
stroying the brightness of coloring
that it is really worth while to know
the best way to preserve them.
It is not the thing to do to draw
awnings UP when rain is falling Ii
in folds they hold much more wa,
ter than If stretched out full length,
because they begin to dry almost i'm
mediately when the sun comes out,
as it usually does after summer show.
ers.
Sun shining on the wet colors Is
what fades them. II very wet when
lowered it takes long while to dry
out the heavy cloth. For the same
reason it is not a good plan to roll
them UP at night unless they keep
out the breeze, but leave them down
that they may not. collect heavy dew.
Only when such a strong wind
blows that there is danger of dam
age to them should awnings be rolled
up, says an expert on such matters;
they last better.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
SAILORS DO GOOD SHOOTING
Wonderful Improvement Made in the
Navy IL the Course of
Few Years.

"The criterion Of target practice is
the actual number of hits per min
ute," says Secretary of the Navy
Bonaparte." Many ships now aver
age between IS and 80 per cent. OF
hits with all their main-battery guns,
whereas in former days the percent
age was rarely over 40, even though
firing slowly at a target more than
seven times as large as the present
one. Then the target was 100 feet
long and 25 feet high; to-day it is q
feet long and ~ feet high. This in
crease in hitting ability is due to the
assiduous training in the target prac-
tees which have been carried out I'M
der the new system adopted and also
to Improvement in ordnance Going
back to 1898, when the navy was
using black powder and when sights
and other parts of the equipment
were poorly developed our firing
was both slow and inaccurate. AT
that time it was considered salts
factory if a 12-inch gun fired one
shot in five minutes. But with each
subsequent Improvement in ordnance
the rapidity was somewhat increased,
and by carrying out systematic tar
get practice the present striking effi'
cheney has been attained. For eX-
ample, the heavy turret guns that
were but q few years ago allowed
five minutes in which to fire shot,
have recently fred three shots and
made three hits in one minute
Hsrper's Weekly.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
ONLY WANTED A FEW THINGS
Man Was After Good Photograph Of
Unprepossessing Wife If It
Was Possible.

81 have come to get my wife photo
graphed." said the determined-looking
man as he entered the studio, fol-
lowed by meekloohing woman.
You can make people look all right,
sir, can't you?"
Certainly, sir" replied the pho
tographer, confidently; that is part
of my business, you know"
We'll, Maria here fell out of the
window last year and injured her
nose. You can straighten it out, l
suppose?"
Certainly"
"And can you push in Maria's ears,
SO that she won't look so much like
rabbit"
"Oh, l think So"
And what about the squint in her
left eye?"
'Oh, I can touch it out in the mega
tive"
"And the freckles?"
They won't appear in the picture
at all"
"And will the hair be red?"
ooh, no."
well, you can go ahead. Sit down
there, Maria, and try to look pleas
ant"
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
HER JOY WAS SHORTLIvED
Delightful Dream of Bliss Rudely In
terrupted by the Morning
Alarm Clock.

"Oh, thank you'll" exclaims the de-
lighted wife, as her husband hahds
her large bunch of money and tells
her to go right down town and buy
everything she likes.
Don't mention it." replies the hus-
band Il want you to have everything
your heart desires in the way OF
dresses and bonnets this summer.
realize that have not been as gener-
GUS as l should have been, and
hope | may be able to make up for 1t
now. Here, take this double handful
of gold $20-pieces, too. Look out
there! You're dropping them
But the double handful Of gold
twenties fell to the floor and went
jingling here and there and the hus
band laughed merrily until
B-r-r-r-r-r-r-r!
1t was the alarm clock, and she
heard the voice of her husband say
ing:
I'll be late to work again to-day
Say, lend me half dollar, won't you
/ haven't got carfare and lunch money
this morning"
1t is such distressing occurrence:
as this that make women wish they
had married the squint-eyed, frecklef
boy who afterwards left home ant
became q plutocrat.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
NOTES..

Eollennes make the prettiest of ex
ira dresses-and the mercerized
eoliennes are best liked of all.
Some of the new dimities show
bands almost like tapes, which serve
in place of the clusters of the cords
that usually characterize them.
Often the tapelike bands cross and
recross, until a pretty little lattice
work is built up. over which flowers
climb
Plaids are following hard on the
trail of the checks which have beer
popular for SO long. In the summer
stuffs hairline plaids and checks-lit
tie or big squares outlined with the
merest thread of color-are particu
larly good.
Ribbons, both broad and narrow
are used, with leaning to sash
widths, since sashes (made up, gen
erally) are worn again. Girdles, how
ever, are almost as much seen as
ever.
Natural color straWs are having 6
great vogue, so great that a lot of ode
shades have been dragged in to give
greater variety. Burnt straw is one
OF them-just little deeper and rich
er than the butter color, which heads
the list. Leghorns in this curious
burnt tone are a mighty interesting
version of the straw
Tinsel belts-the better quality
still are popular for wear with suits
Beautiful indeed was one with dull
purple and pink flowers woven in the
gold cloth, the best fastening with g
butterfly of unburnished hammered
French gold.
One good-lool1ing sash of black
| MORE was laid in fiat plaits with q
bias seam in the center of the front
The back was fastened under two fiat
| rather small rosettes made of satir
baby ribbon held In the center with
steel buckles. The long ends were
finished all around with knife plat
ing of black tulle.-Chicago Record
Herald
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Serious Affair.

Clara-O, mother, We had such fun
at the party! Young Smith proposed
that he and l should go through a
mock-marriage ceremony-just in fun,
you know; and it was too funny for
anything. Afterward. some of the old
er people who heard Of it said we were
really married; but were not, are we?
Dotfng Mother-Of course not. Be
sides young Smith couldn't support a
wife if he had one.
20, it wasn't that Smith. 1t was the
other Smith from Gold City, the one
who owns bonanza mine, you know. y
Eth? That Smith! My dear, a mar
rage like that before witnesses is
binding."-N. Y. Weekly.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
He "Drugged' the Prisoner.

DR.. Horatio Perkins, the medico
legal expert described at medica
banquet the vicissitudes and excite,
ments In the life of young ambu-
lance surgeon.
can ambulance surgeon of my &C
quaintance," he said, had a curiou;
experience the other night. He was
summoned to a police station to ex,
anime an unconscious prisoner. The
prisoner, very muddy and disheveled
lay on the floor OF the cellroom. The
physician bent over and examined him
and then, rising, said in loud, stern
voice:
"'This mans condition is not due
to drink He has been drHSged'
"A policeman turned pale and said
in q timid, heSitating voice:
"'Im afraid yer right, sir.
drugged him all the way from Car
ney's saloon, matter of a hundred
yards or more"
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
NO NEED TO BE SEASICK.
German Invention, It Is Stated, Will
Do Away with This Distress
ing Melady.

Getting Jared is, in plain language,
the latest cure for seasickness. The
method is described in the Technical
World, which asserts that success has
attended the trials of the new device.
The apparatus, which is of German
invention, is very simple. 1t is merely
a comfortable chair, the seat of which
is set rapidly vibrating up and down
by the force of an electrometer con-
nected to the electric lighting wires of
the steamer.
Those wishing to prevent an attack
of seasickness sit down on the vibrat-
ing chair. They have about the same
sensation as in riding in an automo-
bile. The Migratory motion makes the
rolling and pitching of the ship less
felt, the slow downward motion of the
vessel being counteracted by the
numerous short vibratory shocks oc-
curing in an upward direction.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Titles of Novels,

Titles of novels are seldom novel
for they ring the changes on the sue
cessful work, keeping the grog tone
sounding. Just az every musical
comedy for years was about some Sir
or other You will look down the new
liets OF novels. and there is always a
house IS the Keynote OF the title. The
House with the Seven Cables nc
doubt suggested the vogue. The
House with the Green Shutters
brought 1t into fashion. And nov
there have been houses of everything
the ingenious writer can think of
Tears, Laughter, Silencc-and the lat
est is the House of Souls" The nov
elist is as superstitious as the actor
and believes that the occurrence OF
Elizabeth" or House" in his title
spells fortune. We long for a boob
with Jane" or Bathroom" on the
cover!
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
A FEW SUMMER BEVERAGES
Iced Tea Must Have Liquid Poured
Off as Soon as Tea Steeps-A
Milk SheTceVt.

Iced tea should be made long
enough before 1t is wanted to admit
of straining the leaves before cool
ing. 1t should be made stronger than
if to be used without the addition of
ice, as the melting OF the ice Weaken5
it. A heaping tGaSpoOnful for each
cup of tea wanted is none too much.
Pour boiling water over the tea
leaves, let steep three to five minutes,
pour off and cool Some brands of
tea require a little longer sleeping,
and this must be attended to with
Judgment Most of tea made for icing
is allowed to stand or steep too long,
and thus the fannie acid is drawn out,
rendering the taste bitter or strong,
and the effect on the stomach into
which it is taken very injurious. Serve
with plenty of cracked ice and slices
of lemon.
For beverage to take the place Of
coffee. take three teacupfuls of clean
wheat-bran, cup and half Of corn
meal, half a cup of syrup or New
Orleans molasses, and one well-beateD
egg. Rub all these together, mixing
thoroughly, then parch in the oven
until brown, and keep in dry, cool
place. In making, use the same guam
tity as for the real coffee, but be sure
to boil for full Is minutes. AS to cot.
fee being harmful, much depends up,
on the individual, how 1t is made, and
what quantities are taken. Doctors
disagree on the question of its harm.
fulneSS.
Milk Sherbert.-Squeeze the juice
Of six lemons on four cupfuls OF
sugar; put the skins of the lemons in.
to a pint of water and simmer for a
few minutes. Scald two quarts OF
fresh milk with two tablespoonfuls Of
corn starch and one cupful Of sugar.
When cold put into a freezer, and
when 1t begins to stiffen, add the
syrup Of lemon Juice and sugar and
the water from the rinds and freeze.
This is more delicious than ice cream.
The Commoner.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
They Made Literature,

The architect-and his still more i'm
-portant colleague, the stonecutter-
wrought their ambition into stately
piles, their soaring fancy into daring
flying buttresses, their grim humol
into grinning gargoyles, their roman
ticism into howery cornices and vine
twined pillars. Architecture then was
literature writ in marble. But in these
latter times the architect is the lackey
of wealth. He bends above his draw
ing-board, not for fame, but for gain
What might have remained through
the ages the noblest of arts has been
prostituted to the ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF
the commercially successful and the
hereditarily fortunate. Art? Pah?
Greed in granite!-N. Y. Press.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Ahead of the Times.

I'm living in the wrong age" grum.
bled the little old man who was Sitting
outside of the post office whiting 8
peach stone.
'How's that?" queried the horseshoe
salesman.
"Why, be gum, I should have been
living in an age when thar want moth
ing but automobiles and airships."
why so2 Horses ever give you any
trouble?"
Trouble? Wall, reckon they have
While l went to the circus the old
woman ran away with boss doctor
If there hadn't been any bosses thar
wouldn't have been any boss doctors
and would have had the old woman
yet. No. sir, young man, l was born
too early"
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
ST. Alban and His Teacher.

By some strange irony st. Alban
the martyred but possibly mythical
Roman soldier, whose festival falls on
June %, has quite overshadowed his
probably historic instructor, ST
Amphibalus, whose anniversary comes
on the following day. About Am
phibaIus we know that he was a ma
tive of Caerleon, which the Golden
Legend expresses by clubbing him "a
princes son OF Wales in CRETE araye'
He was buried at Redbourne, but
Translated" to ST. Adams abbey
where his cup was preserved, (which
they of the common sort call st. Alta
bells Bolle." In former times chill
dren were frequently christened with
his name, and Affabell Partridge was
goldsmith to Queen Elizabeth.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16

A sweet breath adds to the Joy Of q
ISIS. You wouldn't want TO kiss YOU,
lie, mother or sweetheart with bad
breath. You can't have a sweet
reath without healthy stomach
You can't have healthy stomach
without perfect digestion. There il
MY one remedy that digests what you
sat and makes the breath as sweet as a
rose-and that remedy is KODOL FOR
DYSPEPSIA. II is relief for sour
stomach, palpitation of the heart, and
other ailments arising from disorder o.
The stomach and digestion. Take q
little Kodol after your meals and SOC
what 1t will do for you. Sold by f. T..
Whitehead 4 Go.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Defective Lifeline.

Among physicians a story Is now
going the rounds, which is imported
from Boston. In one Of the hospitals
there it is credibly reported the fol
lowing correspondence between
nurse In a ward and physician tool
place. The physician was at dinner
and just at the start received from
the nurse the following note:
Patient sinking, is very low"
On the back of the paper the young
physician wrote back: Throw ou
the lifeline"
Just at the close Of the dinner the
same note came back with the addi
tional scrawl: "As directed threw
out the lifeline, was too short. He
sank"
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Bit Of Biography.

1t would be impossible to tell with
in the limits of a short sketch how
John G. Shockafeller got his money
Furthermore, 1t wouldn't be polite.
Enough that he got so much that he
founded e university in western
town and has since INDUCED largely in
the dissipation of feeding the institu-
ton.
Almost at the same time John G.
shockafeller became recognized as a
menace to the republic" became bald
and took to golf. Exposure followed
upon the first, wig upon the second,
and strain on religious training
upon the third,-N Y. American.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Left-Eanded Compliment.

THAT was a left-handed Compii
ment," said Upton Sinclair, the noted
author of THE Jungle" apropo4 of Z
remark made by a butcher 1t re
minds me-" Mr.. Sinclair went on, "oi
a compliment that was once paid to q
physician.
This physician had married Z
widow. He said one night to his wife
with a complacent sigh
"Well, I've pulled old Jones
through, after all. And a critical cas-,
it was, let me tell you
Yes, dear said the lady; but
then, you know, you are such an eX
cellent doctor. All, if / had only
known you four years earlier | All
certain my poor dear John would have
been saved
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Diplomatic.

t'Mr. Gidsmore," began the young
man, when you proposed to your wife
or to the estimable lady who is now
Mrs. Gidsmore-did she tell you to
ask her father?"
"she did, my boy" effably replied
MI. Gldsmore.
"And did you try to shirk the job?"
well. come to think of it, l did.
II believe tried to get her to do
the asking, pom my soul, Ha, hal"
and when you did ask him-of
course you had to speak to him
finally"
"Of course l did. OF course"
"And when you did ask him did
your knees shake, and was your
tongue dry. and did you have stage
fright generality"
Il was scared to DEATH
well, that's the way 1 feel. l told
Gladys l knew I could find some mu-
tual bond of sympathy between us
when I came to tell you THAT she has
promised to marry me. Life
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Value of Appearances

1t was a case of drunkenness and
the prisoner was an army veteran
and when he stood before the bar OF
Justice it was very evident that he
felt his position keenly. Just before
he was arraigned young woman, his
wife, stepped UP to the detention pen
hesitatingly and took out of her hand
bag freshly Numbered collar and
necktie which she furtively handed
the man. The change wrought in his
appearance by the new neckwear was
phenomenal He was placed upon
probation, and it is safe to say that
he will never be brought into court
again.-Boston Traveller.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Consolation.

A minister, who has since attained
prominence in New York, says writer
in the Sun, was in his earlier years
called from village church. One of
the sisters expressed grief at his go
ing. They will get better preacher
to take my place." he consoled her.
mo, that's just the trouble she said.
Every preacher, lately, is worse than
the last"
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16

Prof. Tyler, of Amherst College, said
recently: "A man can live comforta.
b; without brains; NO man ever ex.
I'D without a digestive system. The
: >oeptic has neither faith, hope OF
clarity" Day by day people realize
81 importance OF caring for their d.
g. zion realize the need of the use oil
t.ttle corrective after overeating. A
Z ractiye ike Kod9l for Dyspepsia. Ii
2sts what you eat. Sold by E. 7
y aitehead & Go.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Innovation in ENGLAND.

Pautce-I see the vicar of Thames
Dftton, England, makes the announce.
ment that he VIII reserve special seats
for those in boating costume in the
parish church on Sunday mornings
In the southwest gallery.
Patrick-Hope he won't forget to
provide for those in bathing costume
who happen in, and that he will put
'em where their costumes won't get
wet
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16

"Be studious, my son." said the
habitual adviser, "and you may have
a table; in the Hall of Fame"
EYES," answered the cautious youth,
'and be pointed out as an example OF
what ordinary people get in while real
genius is excluded"
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
THE END OF THE WORLD

OF troubles that robbed E. H. Wolfe,
OF Bear Grove, Ia, Of all usefulness,
came when he began taking Electric
Bltters. He writes: "Two years ago
Kidney trouble caused me great suffer
Ing, which l would never have sur
vived had / not taken Electric Bltters.
They also cured me of General Debill-
ty." Sure cure for all Stomach, Liver
and Kidney complaints, Blood diseases,
Headache, Dizziness and Weakness or
bodily decline. Price SOC. Guaran-
teed by E. T. Whitehead & Co.'s drug
store.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
The tar that Is contained

The Tar that Is contained IN
Bees Laxative Honey and Tar is
harmless. 1t is not coal tar. but is OBJ
tanned from the pine trees of our own
native forests. Bees Laxative Honey
and Tar, is the best remedy for cold.
because it acts on the bowels-thus ex-
polling all colds from the systems
Bees is the original Laxative Honey
and Tar, and is best for coughs, colds,
Group, whooping cough, lung and
bronchial affections.
E. T. Whitehead & Co., Scotland N eek
Leggett's drug store, Hobgood.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Familiar with His bits.

First Disconsolate Widow-Are you
going to the mediums tonight to see
if you can get message from your
husband?
Second Disconsolate Widow-No.
it isn't any use tonight SATURDAY.
night was always the night he went
off to sepnd his salary.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16

: liquid cold cure for children that
l. easant, harmless, and effective is
! IS Laxative Honey and Tai
S Jarlor to all other cough syrups OF
u: ! remedies because it acts On the
b SIS. An Ideal remedy for Coughs
{. is, Group, Whooping Cough and
Il durable lung and bronchial affec
t. : in child Ur adult.
! tsant to take.
j !. Whitehead & Co., Scotland Neck
/ gett'e Drug Store, Hobgood.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
His Reason.

my dear Mr.. Magnate. why don't
you sue that fellow who is openly ac-
cusing you and your trust of using
corrupt methods in business?"
MY dear sir, l would not dignity
the fellows charges with a reply
NO; l suppose a reply wouldn t
answer"
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16

When applied and covered with y
hot cloth Pinesalve acts like poultice
Best for burns, bruises, boils, eczema
kin diseases, etc.
E. I. Whitehead & Co, Scotland Neck
LRggett's drug store, Hobgood.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16

Young Wlie-How do you like M
cooking? DON'T you think I've begun
veil? Husband -Um-yes. We often
erd that we'll begun is halt done. -
Punch.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16

The cleansing, antiseptic and heal
ing properties of Pinesalve make 1t su
perior to family salves.
e. T. Whitehead & Co Scotland Neck
Leggett's drug store, Hobgood.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16
Explained,

you must admit that New York is
a wideawake city" said the man from
Manhattan.
1T has to be-" answered the Phila-
delphian. There is too much noise
for anybody to Sleep"
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16

ne Easle--I have one great adyan-
ta=e over you. ] don't need to keep
O. ging automobiles all the time.
he CoH-No; but just wait till
they get these airships going-Scot-
til American.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16

sunday School Toacher-"Tommy,
Il =a not your conscience tell you when
- have done wrong?" YES, ma'am,
b it doesn't tell my mother"-Chl-
c. ID News.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1906-08-16

! woman worries until she gets
:" nkies, then worries because she has
ta@.1. II she takes HOLSTERS Rocky
= antain Tea she would have neither.
i &ht, smiling lace follows its use.
q ents, Tea Or Tablets. E. T. White
h 4 & Go.