St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1906-04-14
(Copyrighted)

ILL 1sh@V = E%4# .fHE"& e e. e. =- -. EHH Iii
Tell me, dear uncle" said little
Oily, as he pored over the evening
newspaper what is the canal?"
"The canal, my dear nephew" said
Uncle George, as he carefully brushed
the ashes from his Claimants Joy for
fear they would soil his white waist
coat, "the canal is a great thing. That
10 to say il you mean the Panama
canal which the United States is Ia
boring to complete within the next so
years. The canal, Dilly, will do more
for the American nation than many
sewer jobs and several municipal
works combined. 1t will give oppor-
tunity to the good men of the senate
and congress to talk endlessly about
nothing at all, and it will keep Gen.
Taft so busy that he will find no
time to discuss the water cure in the
Philippines, and for that last Dilly, we
should be devoutlyr thankful. It will
also afford congress an opportunity
to dabble its hands in a little of the
nations wealth. Barring cruel war,
my hoy, there's nothing that will give
congress such an opportunity as the
canal. Mr.. Shonts will cable up from
the scene 81 the carnage:
We're laboring hard and strenu-
GUS. The toothpicks are allygone. like
wise the canned peaches. We're en-
tirely put of cut glass decanters and
Scotch whisky. Send along another
so, O00, 900 before we suspend opera
ti0ns.'
Then congress will go to work with
! will and will pass an appropriation
OF fifteen millions with q whoop and a
glad cry. Yon may suggest that only
ten millions were asked for, but you
little understand the nature Of the
great work, or the generous workings
of congress, my boy. The extra money
is to pay the salary Of the press agent
that was, and the cost of packing the
articles needed in silver tissue paper.
Also perhaps to send two congressman
as q committee down to Panama and
see how things are going and to come
back and report"
ssWil the committee go to Panama,
dear uncle?" asked Dilly anxiously.
Indeed, it will, my dear nephew. 1t
will run down there on a revenue cut
ter and sit on the porch OF the hand
soonest residence. and gaze out on the
green lawns-and5 the tropical nights.
@.-a -. = hAwonofnh nsyf NJ tho nlf
glassware, and come home and report
can see the honorable gentleman
from Iowa report now. He stands on
the floor of the house and clears his
throat and begins:
Your committee has visited the
scene OF the operations and has dis
covered that everything is being done
that mortal man can do. True, actual
digging has not yet been commenced,
but We must not expect too much from
the paltry sums we have thus far ap-
propriated.; We found on our initial
trip that there is great hardship
among the men, especially the Ia
boring classes. After . personal in
spection We beg to report that there
Is not one toothpick to be found.
Canned terraptn is nearly out and
only nine gross of gentlemea's collars
are left to the hardy workers. They
are struggling nobly, however. Fur
ther along the scene OF, operations
there Is some slight disaffection owing
to the non-arrival of the seven cases
Of silk socks that were ordered. The
tunnel men are now being forced to go
TO their toll in wooden hose. The
scarcity Of dress shirts 10 pftifll, many
OF the men being forced to wear hick-
DRY garments. While We were there
ave Italian laborers threw down their
toois and refused to go further unless
white kid gauntlets are provided ct
once Your committee respectfully
reports that unless some adequate
means Of supplying finger bowls to the
toilers is provided at once there will
be dissension. Mr.. Shonts is doing AL
mortal man can. He and his assist
ants have shaved early and late in their
hammocks trying to keep the red ants
fron@eating the pate de foie gras and
charlotte russo. Your committee
thinks about another twenty millions
win enable the work TO progress Tar
enough to talk about buying SOM.
dredging machines and steam shovels.'