The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-03-24
opiEoELscHREck At PHONE.

|
Eeeenax<4essage 1Galkes Z Baa Half
Ae1f Tor the DntcAsr.
npqegslschreck was a. mild-mannered
Z butcher a. ever scuttled beef or cut
: sheep's throat, anu when the tele-
phone Dali jfngled merrily he took down
tne receiver with a broad German
smile, In expectation Of good custom
by wire.
This is Mrs. Smallwood," tinkled
: Iar-on feminine voice, land I wish
you would send up a nice porterhouse
steak Tor supper-one about two inches
tnick -pause-"with a collar on and
long, white silky hair-about seven
years old, should say"
Spiesslschreck gasped in astonish-
ment and the good-natured counter
ance wore an air Of puzzlement.
"Vot did you set?' he inquired. 81
guess l didn't get i'd ride. We don't got
vot you wand. guess, If you wand all
you set"
Back came the voice to Spiegel-
schreck: II said a poodle, with long.
white hair, and a collar on-about
seven years old"
ISIS she gone crazy?" muttered Spie-
gelschreck. rubbing one hand ner-
vously on his butchers apron and
clasping the receiver tighter to his ear.
l guess We don'd got vot you wand, !"
ne answered. I've don't got very big
demand vor pootles. Maybe yand blain
sausage"
who said anything about wanting
poodles" came back voice indignant
~. Have you been drinking, Mr., Spie-
gelschreck? I want a nice porterhouse
steak for supper"-pause- with long
white hair and my name on the collar"
Spiegelschreck eyed the telephone Gu
riously, wondering IL it were playing q
trick upon him.
"Vot you wand ISIS a borderhouse," he
repeated; ''but vat for do you wand
long, silky hair on i'd? We could not gif
you borderhouse NIT hair on i'd. You
wand der hairdresser's. You hat der
wrong number, NIGHT wahr?"
Il will pay large reward If you get
1t for me-" came back the voice over
the wire. II would give fifty dollars
to have 1t back right now. l want 1t
SO bad, poor little lost thing!''
"Py chiminy! dot woman ISIS crazy I"
declared Spiegelschreck in alarm. Then
he replied: Il couldn't gif you Dor
derhouse nit long hair on i'd und sefen
years oft IL you paid hundred dollars.
You bedder delefone to der medical col
lege. Yot you wand is mummies."
Mr.. Spiegelschreck," came back a
voice quivering with indignation, you
are certainly -intoxicated! l shall tell
my husband to send you a check for
your bill, and you will be bothered no
more with our custom"
Here was fresh trouble The Small
woods were good customers, but the
courtesy due good custom has its limits.
Who ever heard of porterhouse steak
seven years old, with long white hair?
Spiegelschreck had not, and he was a
pretty good butcher, too
II peg your pardon" Spiegelschreck
responded, bud please order again vot
you wand und say 1t blain. ! guess
mein hearing Is pad alreaty."
"a poodle, said" came back tie
voice, with long white hair and my
name on the collar"
"Dit you wand Id for subber?" gasped
Spiegelschreck.
Central, who is that crazy German
on the liner snapped out a sharp voice.
I'm talking with the business Office of
the Bugle, and advertising for lost
dog. Please tell Mr.. Lagerbier to ring
off,"
you are crazy YOURSELF" yelled
Spiegelschreck. "You wand a border
house steak NIT WOOL on i'd like sheep
voss ISIS los NIT your
Central" came another voice, cant
I order a porterhouse steak without
getting a whole dog kennel on the line?
Hello, Mr.. Spiegelschreck, hello!"
But Spiegelschreck had fled. Louie, I"
he said to the boy, der wire ISIS full NIT
crazy vimmens Dey wand borderhouse
steaks NIT WOOL on 'em. Don'd go near
der telefone. am going out to get
some schnapps- ~. w. Foley, In
Judge.
sn->than~ tn ne ThSnkful For.