Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1906-11-17
JONAS IS
INVESTIGATED
Jonas awoke at bay.
BY CALLY RYLAND

curiosity that clingS 10 ulmlnuliNe
specimen of his kind, he had fallen
asleep in chair dragged to the very
center of the kitchen floor that he
might miss seeing and hearing moth
Ing that happened in his family.
Now he sat up and rubbed his eyes,
confronted by a pair that belonged to
his spouse.
"Jes es well scrub dat sleep outnh
dem eyes" remarked Jemimy. his
wife, with contemptuous sniff.
"Yor's gwinetuh be 'vestigated.'
Name o. Gawd! what's dat?' asked
Jonas, turning half shade less black.
You'll fin out soon nuff." shifted
Jemimy. What ] wants tub know is,
who's been projeckin wild muh money
stockin'?"
Jonas sat upright and gulped.
Name o." he began, but Jemimy
cut him off short
"'1ain't no use a-blasphemin' TO
desc chillun whar / bin tryin' to chain
up in de way dey should GO she
said severely. Il axes you plain
question, en- / wants plain answuh,
1 does
Den you done come tub de wrong
es' pusson you coulda picked out,
oman said Jonas, venturing on a
new tactic. when did de law en- de
Gorspil en- even de debble hisself give
YOU de license tub 'yestigate yo' own
husban'. I'd laik tab know? You takes
too much on yo'self. G'long, ten tub
dat washin' en- take dem chillun long
outchuh wild you, TO lam eve'y- one
NV EN-, en- you intuh dc bargin."
You lam who?" snorted Jemimy,
rising from her seat and towering over
him like a colossus in ebony. You lam
who? You ornary little bowlaigged
runt Nv a niggah, you. I got greet
min tub scour you off'n dc face NV
de nth, dat Is. Git up rom dyah."
Jonas rose hastily.
"Tuhn out dehm pockets"
He rolled his bead eyes upon her
sulleniy. Sen dem chillun out" he
muttered.
Dat ! amt gwine do no SIGH a
thing" answered his stronger half.
''Dey gwine stay right whar dey air
tuh harm de lesson NV onrighteousness
rom dey own daddy. Tuhn out dem
pockets, say"
Jonas poured miser's wealth In
coppers and nickels upon the kitchen
table. He looked shrunken, yet de-
fiant.
Johnny eyed him scornfully. Wall,
lis is sight in de eyes Nv Gawd en-
men," she said. DE fathuh Nv a fam
bly--fo' daid en- seb'n livin--stealin'
yes. sub, stealth, jes laik, com
mon, low-down chicken thief, fo'm his
own wife, Robin huh NV eve'y cent
she done wuk huh finguhs tub de bone
tub save. Tub think dat Ise bin spy
ahed tub sec dis day. and Jemimy
threw her apron over her head and
rocked her grief.
Walls sprung from the three young
est throats of the "seb'n Twin" and
presently the thief himself began TO
show unmistakable signs of emotion.
"Jemimy," he shifted" what was
YOU savin' dat money fuh?'
None NV yo' bizness," came from
under the apron.
''Yas, tits muh biZnc-s, too" sobbed
Jonas. Vas It's muh bizness. oman.
You was saTiu' hit tub buy tomb
stone en- wreath NV immorals fuh
yo' ole man. Nemmin' how | knowed
hit. ] knowed hit. en- dat's huff, en- /
kin tell you. oman, (boo-hoo,) ] amt
ready tub die yet, dat / amt, en- don
wantchuh tub be putin none NV yo
conjuh spells on me, nuthah, savin'
money tub buy me no tombstone
whatsomedevur. | want gwine spen'
dat money. Watchuh reckon l want
wild 20 money? Amt got fif' cents
in muh pocket? I jes borruh hit tub
bYek de spell, OATS all. II was
gwine buy you Eastuh bonnet wild
dat money. clar TO- gracious, honey"
jennings apron came down in a
hurry.
Den hits de fus thing you was
evuh gwine buy me sence we-all stood
up befo' de preachuh," she said wrath
fully. Zen you was gwine tub take muh
money tub buy hit wild! Watchuh
think | want wild de kim NV bonnet a
little two-prong fork laik you'd buy?
Humph! Jonas. you needs 'vestigatin'
wuss'n 'ennybody ] evuh heah tell NV.
amt though wild you yet, niggah.
You heah me? Dyah's trubble comm
tub you TO l gifts though wild you.
Ise gotten mighty tiahed seem you
settin' roun' wsitin' fuh me tub put
vittles In you' mouf thee times a day.
en- gwine tell you right now Of YOU
don git move on you en- fotch yo'
doiluh's wuth Nv wages in heah eve'y
Ssddsy night Ise gwine4uh pnt sich
conjuh ON you dat fns' thing YOU know
you'll be Up Yonduh piciSin' chickens
fuh Marse Peters dlnnuh, en- dat's
Gawd's own trufe. Now ] done tole
YOU"
And Jonas slunk through a crack in
the door that the hound dog had Just
left open.--N. Y. Times.
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