The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-09-12
Fired at Random
What a lot there is to read!

A 80 "OsAAue Out uSA6us
A rainy Saturday always makes
store keeper mad.
We sometimes think the greatest
of all the virtues is politeness.
Be careful this year: everybody is
looking for chance to get mad.
We sometimes think an ugly man
lives longer than a good looking one.
Going home to dinner Is the trouble
with many people: they eat too much.
II woman Is fat, that is enough
for the men; they say she has fine
figure.
w. ]. Bryan is not feeling any bet
ter today than real negro minstrel
feels every day.
Those who never do wrong take
wonderful satifaction in the saying:
Murder will out"
When performing long journey,
and YOU are very tired, ever see a
buggy going your way?
1t takes a genius to gite grace
full compliment, and it takes another
to accept one gracefully.
We are willing to take good dry
hickory wood on subscription, but we'll
not take peaches. N
Here is an expression that should be
called in: He has made mistakes
but who has not?"
Saloon men say that when man
buys drink with a cherry and
cherry are very funny.
If a woman with children is popu-
lar in the neighborhood. she does not
need nurse for the children.
Ever occur to you that there is as
much scandal in q little country town
as there is in little country city?
Looking for business is like look
ing for four-leaf clovers. which some
body else always finds easily enough.
We have always thought we would
hate to sleep in bed that had to be
undressed before we could get into it
What has become of the old fash
Toned man who put all jams, preserves
and jellies under the one head of
"spread?"
If Luther Burbank is 30 smart. why
doesn't he grow watermelons that
have handles on them to carry them
by?
When a man who boards is invited
out to great many meals, does 1t
mean that he is popular or good
manager?
A boy hates to have visiting wom-
en- kiss him; 1t makes him ashamed,
and the other boys hear about it, and
laugh at him.
When the stork visits poor man
too frequently, he can't get any SYM
pathy from any woman in the world
but his mother.
Girls talk of their extensive vocab-
ulary, but we never knew one who
had more than three adjectives: Grand,
horrid and cute.
Here of late the children seem to
put the dependence in fathers
money that they formerly put in
mothers prayers.
That's all right" men have a ha-
bit of saying; 81 guarantee it" But
an Atchison man insists on guaran-
tees being in cash.
The fashions which women follow
may be tyrannical but woman does
mt have any garment that is as great
a tyrant as the coat.
Several months ago man hired a
certain lawyer. The lawyer quarrel
ed with his client, and today the man
said: HE amt no lawyer"
If you had never heard of the ha-
bit of smoking and should drop in
to crowd where all the men were
smoking, wouldn't it look funny?
Olois Philip says that when a
clarinet student begins, his practic-
ing is so terrible that it causes his
teacher to pull out his own hair.
After girl reaches fifteen, and puts
on long dresses, what happens to her
legs? They are covered up, and SO far
as people know they become crooked.
When a woman says 1t is no trouble
for her to have company, that's one
way of telling the neighbors that ev-
erything at her house is always in
company order.
Somehow when a trunk goes to the
depot strapped to the back of a far
mer's wagon it means trip of great
er Importance than If it arrived in a
baggage wagon.
When an elderly woman puts up
fruit, her kin wonder II she will live
to eat it: the kin of the aged seldom
turn corner in their minds without
running into funeral procession.
There are fewer dead beats than
formerly. In order to get along, a
man must pay his debts. Dead beats
have been punished so much that
they are beginning to take the hint
The men are invited to meet at the
corner of Fifth and Commercial this
evening and join a mob to break Dom
aids display in that window that is
shocking men today.