The Minneapolis journal., 1906-06-26
With the Long Bo,0
Eye nature.s walks shoot FOLLY a. Il files. :,
Test of the Correctness Of Ones Mentality-If your
Whiskers Bristle Your Philosophy Is at Fault.

~ OWES fathers whiskers waved in peaceful,
contented way he gave his testimony, but
- the prophets beard bristled. If your whiskers
bristle you are pretty sure to be In the wrong.
##s @4 So
The new melodrama "Lost at @Deephavenn Is being
payed to large audiences at the Sampson operahouse
in Excelsior. last the hero, having kissed
the heroine about to take the last streetcar for the
city, when he finds the gates shut and the car moving
majesticaly away whilst the band plays feelingly the
new popular air, Fathers Beard Is Made OF
Whiskers.'
An editor with those old-fashioned notions sent
out reporter interview thirty successful business
men and find that all of them when boys had been
governed strictly and frequently thrashed He also
interviewed thirty oafers learn that twentyseven
of them had been ''mama's darling" and the other
three had been reared by their grandmothers The
moral of this would to be that father should
rush his skid' into the woodshed at and thresh
him severely.
President Roosevelt has an account at the Riggs
National bank in Washington. The bookkeepers have
no end of trouble keeping the president g balance
straight m m sa gs IS
serve the checks souvenirs. Hundreds Of dollars
thus saved the president every year. Here is
easy way Of getting money. Make your name noted
that the grocer frames and keeps your checks.
~
: A glorious new patent skating rink has been In
being engaged and holding hands. The whole affair
is described in the Scientific American with pictures
SO that it is dream, but reality.
8 The rink is paraboltc floor rotated at such
speed that the centrifugal force about equals the
attraction Of gravttation. I.
Some very curious and interesting phenomena win
be manifest with this apparatus. While in rotation
floor Immediately under your feet will always ap
pear level. Walk from side to the other, and the
whole apparatus will to tilt exactly as if
it floating in water, and as if you infinitely
heavy and everyone else infinitely light You
can walk with perfect freedom in crcumfer-
ential direction but if you walk quickly in a dia-
will he %1x1 oho1 fo
side. You will find it most difficult to walk in
straight line except very slowly It is believed that
this system is well adapted for skating rink
Mounted roller skates, you could perform most
extraordinary feas with very little effort 1t is said
that by increasing and diminishing the speed period
icaly say four times minute the friction would dis
appear altogether, the motive power doing all the
work and the skater nothing. .2~
1t is evident that are just entering the era
of strange illusions. The first parabatic, whirling
skating rink in this vicinity is going get about all
the loose change in sight. ~:s- ~ - 49, .--" =
The Barring Gould who wrote "Onvard Christian
Soldier and who strongly denies that he is the par
tcular BIG. who is dead is a practical visionary.
When very young he, had theory that the trouble
with the English upper classes too much inter-
marriage among few select families. He visited the
factories at York and picked out young and healthy
factory girl of undenable beauty. He arranged mat
ters with her parents and had her sent to school.
After finishing her English schooling she went to
French convent and from there to finishing school
in Germany. She transformed into cultivated,
hlgnly educated ana peautllul young lady lhen Mr.
Barring Could hunlmng to himself Onward Christian
Soldier,' married her. She has borne him sixteen
chidrea, all remarkably handsome, remarkably healthy
and remarkably brilliant. This is reason why
there so many Barring Goulds scattered around
over England looking for jobs 80 i, -.
..',..'' MA 80 .z-. &'.s
But speaking Of large families, the Worthington
Mimi. Globe tells Of the wives of two musicians who
met on the street day. One pushing baby
carriage containing three girls (triplets The other
just her honeymoon congratulated her upon such
bliss Upon which the proud mother said that she at
tributed the fact that after returning from
honeymoon the town band serenaded them, playing
Three Little Maids from School, The young bride
threw up both hands and exclaimed 'tGood
heavens!'' that same band serenaded and played
''The Sextette from Foradora.' . "A. J. r.