Greene County herald., 1906-03-16

Keen al dppieCldLlOu VI llC 4GdANAO"o
and can discover the nib OF a joke
as quickly as the next man" | glory
in a good, hearty, old-fashioned "guf-
faw'1to me it is a tonic-it exhilar-
ates-it braces me. But | never was
fond of "a practical joke, for I have al
way been unable to see cause for real
mirth in the, discontinue of fellow
creature. 49, tS.SttAf,t4f
1t is a singular fact that your prac-
tical joker, as a general thing, is the
last one to appreciate practical joke
of which he is the victim. Some there
are who will take it in good part and
laugh as loudly as the rest at his own
discontinue, but such are not often
found.
Gale Weeks, who will be remem-
bered by many Cd New Workers, and
who at one time kept public house
on Long Island, is said to have been
the most inyeterate practical joker On
record. He would so out Of his way
at any time to crafty his peculiar pro-
pensity, and many are the anecdotes
told concerning him. But he once met
his match.
One John Smith, having been vic
timized by Gale, determined-to use
his own expression-to 'get square
with his tormenter, and, while Gale
was absent from home on one occa-
sion, on business which was likely to
detain him in New York for some
days, John sought his hostelry on Long
Island and desired to see Mrs. Weeks
When that lady presented herself, John
gazed at her with some establishment,
and at length ventured to say:
There must be some mistake, ma
dam. l desired to see Mrs. Weeks
Mrs. Caleb Weeks" well, | am
Mrs. Caleb Weeks replied the lady,
somewhat curtly What is it you
Wish?"
You are not the Mrs. Caleb Weeks
whom l desire to see," returned John
in a positive tone; ''the lady whom |
am in quest of is much younger than
yourself, taller and-pardon me, mad
em-much finer-lOoking. She has large
lustrous blue eyes, a wealth of golden
hair, rosy cheeks, a rosebud mouth,
she was very richly dressed, and wore
a profusion of diamond jewelry One
magnificent ring. | noticed particular
ly, which she said her. husband had re-
Gently presented to her as a birthday
present. l am jeweler myself,
madam, and know the value of dia-
monds. In fact, my business here is
- I, IL
diamond brooch which l have been
resetting for her"
Now Mrs. Weeks. be it known, was
terribly jealous of her husband, and
her eyes snapped fire as she. enjoined:
II tell you again, sir, that | am Mrs
Weeks, and there is none other. If the
brooch is designed for Mrs. Weeks,
give it to me.
Excuse me, madam" replied John,
with much earnestness, you are not
the lady to whom Mr. Weeks intro
duced me as his wife, and. much as |
commiserate your unhappy lot-for
| perceive now plainly that Mr. Weeks
is a great scoundrel-I cannot place
the diamonds in your possession, since
L.
This is a most unfortunate business.
and | deplore it deeply. regret very
much that | had anything to Go with it..
Good morning, madam. l hope Mr..
Weeks will be able to explain things
satisfactorily" And John Smith bowed
himself out
1t may be imagined that Mrs Weeks
in fa1. .lo i
when Gale, as innocent as a lamb, and
all unsuspeeting the stormy scene
which awaited him, returned home.
For three days she had been nursing
her wrath to keep it warm" and, when
at length her husband entered her
presence and rushed forward for the
kiss of welcome, she sternly waved him
of, holding her right hand behind her
the while, and said, with terrible calm
ness:
How is Mrs. Weeks, Caleb? Why
didn't you bring her home with your"
Gale saw at once that his wife was
either in dead earnest about something
or had suddenly taken leave of her
senses. Then it occurred to him that
she might be displeased because he
had remained absent SO long. So he
said, apologetically:
'I don't know what you mean by
how is Mrs. Weeks?-and why didn't
[ bring her homes? my dear. / sup
pose you are indulging in one of your
good-natured jokes | am glad to see
you in such excellent humor. | was
afraid you might not like it because
/ didn't get home sooner. But could
not, love, or | should have done so. l
had a good deal to look after, you
know-many purchases to make, many
different parties to see, and all that
sort sort of thing. So don't be cross,
but give us a kiss and say no more
about it,
Yes" rejoined Mrs. Weeks, with
flashing eyes. Il know all about the
parties you had to see and the pur-
chases you had TO make. | hope you
didn't pay too much for the diamonds
you bought"
Diamonds, my dearl Diamonds"
exclaimed Gale, slightly bewildered;
what the deuce are you talking about?
] have bought no diamonds: | believe
you are taking leave Of your senses" "
She is much younger than l am. =
returned Mrs. Weeks. significantly,
taller and better-lookingI and, as
she spoke, she drew from behind her a
cOWhide and brought it down vigorous
ly over the shoulders Of the unfortu-
nate Gale. Large. lustrous black eyes!
-Whackt whacHi-a wealth of golden