Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-07-04
BILL DINKLE ON PRESIDENTIAL BEE
BY WOODWORTH CLUM.

Bill Dinkle moved restlessly in his
chair and rubbed his bump of pessi.
mism.
Bill sOured on the world when some
sharpshooting gentleman in the rebel
army plugged him in the back with
chunk of lead as he was making for the
woods. crying "skidoo" to the dust OF
battle. Years afterward Bill declared
he had been in the midst of the con-
fiict, and had stopped over to hear the
last words of dying comrade. Be
cause of this brave and noble act, Bill
was presented with a job as Waterman
at the capitol, where for two decades
he had lounged comfortably in govern
ment chairs and grown fat off govern
ment coin.
But Bill is an interesting card, and
often entertains the initiated with able
dissertations on national affairs. he
stopped ME yesterday afternoon
We'll" said he, Il see that the presi-
dental bee is on the buzz again. No
sooner does one of the political gentry
get inside the white house before the
flock of 'possibles' begin reckonin' on
who's goin' to get there next. I'll be
jiggered if | ever saw anything like it.
And did you ever stop to think that
this boom business always revives
about this time O. year, when the high
bTowed youth is bein' graduated from
the colleges all over the country? It's
a fact. Don't make any difference
whether it's at Pohick or Sqedunk, be-
cause the possibilities get their
speeches printed in the papers, all of
which means about 10 cents worth of
lime light thrown on their respective
persons.
Soon be Voters.
Foxy gents. You see. these fuzzy
faced lads what's gettin' their diplo-
mas now will join the ranks of the first
voters in 1908. and its up to these polit-
ical chaps to blow their own horns till
the kind faced old COWS come home.
That's one of the cleverest schemes in
the business - gettin' these young
sters started on the right political
track
Now there's your friend, the vice
president. Mr.. Fairbanks, he of the
cold and calculatin' temperament.
Spring hardly gets out o its swaddlin'
clothes before Mr.. Fairbanks hotfOots
off to Alabamy to give them southern
ers the correct political steer. And he
hadn't got no further than AleXandry
before the temperature in Washington
began to warm up. There's no tellin
how many folks he GRATED at down
there in Alabamy but next mornin' the
newspapers had columns about Fair
banks Doomed for the Presidency
Then he pixies off to his home town IL
Indiana, and makes a spiel TO con
vention of republican editors. He talk
ed to them about the grand old party
but | guess he didn't tell them any,
thin they didn't know Next mornin
the papers said Fairbanks Doomed fol-
the Presidency All! that's politics
my boy. that's politics.
Same Thing Last Summer.
Last summer he did the same thing.
First he opened the Portland exposi-
ton. and they say he was pourin sweet
nothings into the ears of the first
nighters along the road. But he'll new
er make a hit in the western woods.
There aint enough Of the strenuous in
his frame 1t takes a rough-hOuse fell
Ter to hornswoggle them cowpunchers.
Bill Dinkle shifted his knees, glanced
out the window at the gathering after
noon shower. and continued:
why. jig-fuss it. let me tell you