davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01

the door.
 Well. what n jolly good spreod!' de- clared August. going to the table and lay ing his hand in a friendly way on the skulls forehead.
 Now, If were better Shakespearian scholar would quote Hamlet's speech to YorlclS's skull-'Alas, poor Yorick. knew him well.'"
 "Oh. prithee deslst :" cried Flo. falling into August's vein of humor.
 .<"Well, in the language of the twentieth century. say we have surely been made fools of in very clever way" laughed Oracle. "All we need are the caps anu bell"
 And wit" corrected Flo.
 While this was going on In the dining room Tom, out at his grandmother's was keeping close to the phone, waiting Tor q summons from Nancy, who had already informed him that the guests were now in the banquet room. Together with his mother and grandmother. whom he had taken into his confidence that evening. ex- plainIng that he was entertaining at din ner April foolJ at his home in town. be was anxlously awaiting the outcome.
 They're fooled, good and plenty he said, smiling.
 How could you be so heartless as to Tn. yite your comrades to such feastf laughed his mother, enjoying her son harmless joke quite as much IS he did
 ngling -ting. went the phone ana Tom grabbed the receiver.
 "Heilo!" he called. ''Is 1t you, Nancy Y
 None other, bless yer heart came Nancy's voice. An, say, Master Tom, you ort to see what hne bunch of April fools they are. They bit. all right. think they're about ready to go home now And I bet they'll keep mum about where they ct dinner. Dinner! Lawsy"
 Then Nancy's low laugh gurgled through the phone.
 All right, Nancy, just go and tell them they are wanted at the phone. But on | your life don't say who wants them" Nancy dld as bidden, reaching the dining room just as the three young guests were making ready to depart Addressing herself to August, she explained that he and his friends were wanted at the phone.
 ''It's the dessert to the dinner that's coming, l guess" said August, following Nancy upstairs 10 the phone. Taking the receiver. he cried out lustily: Hello !'' whereupon Toms voice answered April Fool r' <y
 "I plead guilty to the charge" laughed August. and fallow me to congratulate l you on your dinner. It was success"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01

anything of the kind. Well. I'm quite sure the dinner will be nice. for Toms mother will see to that She's the sort of mother that will insist on all the jokes being very simple and piayed-like games after the full enjoyment of q fine meal. Gee! Pm getting hungry now, as l think of dinner at Toms: they always have such toothsome things to eat there.'
 Then, seeing a comrade down the street on whom he wished to play. prank, Att gust forgot all about the dinner and his appetite and ran off al full til; after his lobe victim.
 That evening, precisely at six-twenty Oracle rang the door bell at Toms home, and an instant later was invited fin by the smiling Nancy, who was resplendent in frilled cap and stai chy white apron. Just put your nat and jacket here in the hall Miss" said Nancy. Then help yourself to chair in the parlor Master. Tom isn't quite ready 10 come down.
 "Oh, I must be early" thought Oracle. stepping into the big parlor and finding no others there. But in another minute the door bell gave another peal, and Nancy ushered Flo into the hall. speak
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01

all could read in him the fish of honor. Two or three bowed graciously to him, and welcomed him among them
 But not so with old Blue Scales. He mad reigned supreme in that pond so iong that he did not brook interference rom a stranger. Besides, the admiring glan2es he had seen bestowed upon Col den Fins fed his jealousy and he meant t9S drive the Intruder away Dashing over to Golden Fins. old Blue Scales his eyes bold and insolent-said, as be gave his tail an emphatic toss:
 Who are you, that you came here uninyited? This picnic was arranged by me and l did not have your name on the list of guests"
 Thank you. sir, for explaining to these present that I am not here at your bid ding, for I would feel no pride In being your guest"
 What! you-a plain nobody from up the creek, q tramp fish. merely-dare to thus address meH' shrieked old Blue Scales, fioundering about In his rage. "Begone from a place where you are not welcome. Back to the muddy creek where you beong."
 ''Ladies and gentlemen" said Golden Fins, calmly, addressing the astonished fish assembled, 1T am here to denounce this fish as one wholly unworthy your friendship and esteem. Tn the past when he was young-he courted many of the mothers of the maidens he is now throwing his evil influence over. He threw the mothers aside, after breaking their too trusting hearts, md now he is using their daughters in the same dis honorable way. Shall I show him bat tie in defense of your daughters, or shall I withdraw and leave him to pursue his yillanous. pastime of breaking hearts?
 "Stay-stayl" cried one dear old dame, mother to both daughters and sons. Stay, not only as a champion of our daughters, but us an example for our
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01
BY WILLIAM WALLACE, JR.

q.
 For several days Tom had been busy thinking and thinking over a plan by which he might '.get even" with three of his young friends who had on last April Fools Day played such clever joke on him.
 Its a long lane tat has no turning" Tom had quoted a year ago; and now that another April first was so close at hand Tom had put on his thinking cap, so to speak, and was rummaging about in his brain for the longed-for joke.
 The three friends who were now oc- cupying so much of Toms thoughts were Oracle Perkins, Flo Williams and August Christy, and these three must have suf- fered from burning ears that day as Tom talked to himself so much about them.
 But as 1t was Friday, and Tom was In school his undivided attention could ,aot be. given them till that evening after f'pooks." But at 4 o'clock he ran home in hurry and shut himself in his room. Tomorrow-Saturday- April first, and he must get to work on his April fool plan.
 After a little while his face lighted up with a happy smile, and grasping his pen he wrote three notes of invita- ton to as many friends to dine with him att 6.30 on the following evening. At the bottom of the invitations he wrote this line: Bring along any April.fool jokes you may have in mind. We'll have q gay evening of it." Also in the invita- tions he begged the invited to say nothing to any person about the dinner party, as he did not wish the guests to know be-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01

each knew perfectly well all about the secret they had in common, and which they tried to conceal from each other
 After an hours call on Flo Oracle took her leave. and who should she meet on her why home but August Cristy! August doffed his cap and stopped to chat min ute. Wasn't Ii a glorious day for foosf and had she any plans for the day ahem-for the evening? for 1T not he would like 10 run In and see her awhile after dinner" etc, to which Oracle re- piled without limiting at the dinner at Toms. Still she and August read in each others faces that both would be at the April fool dinner that evening.
 "0f course. thereil oe Joke about the dinner" solioquized August. as he went on down the stre ant on hunting n victim for some of his pranks. But won't taste morsel Of food till I've seen every other guest try 1t first. would give Il pretty, though. to Lnow just what Tom will do at the dinner this evening. If it were not that 1 am so curious to see. I'd fool him by staying away. But I'm too fond of fud to miss
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01
AFable.

Old Blue Scales was the Hon of the pond. Every young and pretty Miss Sun nsh was a victim to his masculine charms. He was a light-brained fellow, given to fattery; and many happy engaged couples he had come between, for he was an enyi- ous, jealous, gay old fish, who could not endure to see another male fish win the favors of fair one.
 But he was careful to never go so far as to engage himself to any pretty fish maid; he was flop who flirted first with one and then with another, throwing each over as he grew tired of her company. Thus had he broken many young fshes hearts and brought upon himself the con demnation of the old parents, who, all in vain, tried to persuade their daughters to have nothing to do with him.
 But fish femininity is much the same AS human femininity-bllnd ottimes to male deceit Thus did old Blue Scales flip and firt about In the pond the leader Of the social set of Sunfshes.
 But one day there swan into the pond a most graceful, noble-looking fish by the name of Golden Fins. He came from neighboring brook that flowed into the pond. On beholding this handsome stranger the Misses Sunhsh were filled with admiration for him. Wasn't he graceful Wasn't he slender, and wasn't he a magnificent swimmerl They swan into little groups and whispered together their compliments of the newcomer.
 But Golden Fins was a modest, unas- suming young fellow, and made no haste to become acquainted. ''Be careful in forming friendships, but when once formed remain loyal" was the Golden Fins max i'm. So he held somewhat apart from the fishes in the pond where he was a total stranger And so it was that he had been an inhabitant of the pond for several days before he made the acquaintance of anyone.
 one day as he lay quietly stunning him self near a great ledge of rocks which
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01

sons to follow. This fish"-pointlng a fin angrily towards old Blue Scales "has had his evil sway long enough. He deceiyes our daughters by his nattery and yields dangerous influence over our sons. Stay. l entreat you, and help to banish this wicked one.''
 Aye, aye" came from a dozen thronts and several young gallants. who had not favored the reign of Blue Scales, came quickly to the side of Golden Fins, claim ing him as a leader; for they hnd not felt strong enough to boldly combat tho great Blue Seaes-who had orded 1t over the pond before their without some stronger and more fearless person. ality q should say fshality) to take the leadership.
 But old Blue Scales. coward thnt he was, seeing his downfall, waited no longer; without word In his own de fense-for what could he say ?-he whirled around and swan off down the pond as fast as fins and tail could carry him. Right on to the creek-which he had ridicued but n few minutes before--he went, and before the sun sunk from sight that night he got into fight with huge catfish. who resented Blue Scales intru- sion in his house and who made his sup per off the old flop, thus putting stop to his meanness.
 And before many weeks rolled by Gold en Fins had proved to the fish in the pond that .s possessed In truth the rarest qualities, He was of serious mind, noble and true. And, as the time wore on he began to pay court 10 the demure little maid with whom old Blue Scales was coquetting on the day of his disgrace, but who, thanks 'to Golden Fins timely appearances, was saved from falling in love with one so unworthy.
 And this little fish maids good mother smiled on Golden Fins suit md gladly gave him her daughter in marriage
 At the wedding all the fishes. great and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01

good lady said to herself: T suspect the child doesn't relish the idea of spending April Fools Day out in the country but l had not thought of that when I prom ised mother we would pay her this visit However, It is q silly custom-thls play ing of foolish jokes on the first of April, and I'm glad Tommy does not take any interest in such reyelry."
 And all the time Tom was dressing up- stairs he was thanking his lucky stars that they were to spend the following day in the country. Otherwise hs little scheme would have fallen through with or proved to have thrown the joke on him.
 Early Saturday morning Oracle, Flo and August received at their respective homes the neatly written Invitations sent them by Tom on the previous evening.
 Well, it's new departure-ths hay ing dinner on April first remarked Oracle, after she had read her card. But
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01

Ing the same words to her that she had spoken to Gracie
 Then the two little girls greeted each other with "Ah. hal l knew you were coming" Then. as they began to cx' press some surprise that no other guests had arrived and that their host had failed to put In his appearance. the door bell again rang, and Nancy admitted August. As he entered the parlor Grncie greeted him with We'll aren't you crowding the season2 August should not come in April"
 That's an April-fool on you" retorted August. laughing. But, l say, where re all the gucstsY And where Is Tom?''
 That's conundrum.' smiled Flo "rhe answer is-walt and sec "ies, and I'm thinking we'll see great joke. too" drliy remarked August What else can be detaining Tom upstairs. For a penny I'd make n raid on him.
 Reserve your august countenanee till 1t is wanted by the host" said Gracie innocently
 No puns here--even If if is April first. :" said August. throwing up his hands in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01

mock horror. Spring any joke. but spare us the pun"
 But just at this minute Nancy. who had been busy at the phone In the library upstairs came to the parlor door to say that dinner was served, and that she was bidden to lead them to the dining room.
 The three, looking at each with sus- picion in their eyes, walked down the hall behind Nancy, who threw the dining room door open and bade them enter
 As they stepped into the apartment they were somewhat surprised to see 1t was dmy lighted by tiny candle which was placed fin the farthest corner of the room. On the great dining table, which occupied the center of the rooHs, there lay huge skull. and nothing else.
 The eyes of this unsighIly, grinnng skull had been touched with phosphorus. and gleamed with hideously uncanny light As the three guests let their eyes rest on this strange banquet board. Oracle and Flo threw up their hands in horror. "Oh-o.o-h" cried Oracle, What a blood curdling sight,
 sOh, mercy -on-rs. That's awful, Tom. .'' exclaimed Flo stepping backward towards
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01

it's quite a clever idea. And then we are to spring our jokes after dinner which will be a world of fun. We'll, Mir. Tom. look out, for you, being the host, will prove the target for each guest. and you'll be made a fool of so many times that you'll be In danger of losing your wits"
 Then, putting on her hat and jacket, Oracle went to see her chum Flo to put out a feeler," as she expressed 1t, to learn whether or not Flo was also in- vited. Of course, Oracle did not mean to say word about the coming dinner, for she was too honorable to betray secret intrusted to her keeping; but-well, one could hint without telling. you know. And then, Fos face was always such an open book that you could read Her mind from it. fsI
 But on this morning Flos face proved to be more of puzzle. Tn vain Oracle beat about the bush but she got no information from Flo: and in vain did. Flo ask leading questions of Oracle; she learned nothing of that little misses plan for that evening.
 And then 1t was that each fully under stood how trustworthy the other was. for
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01

shaped beds. in which the various kinda of flower seeds are put to bear blooms that wIli delight the sight and smell.
 But who shall be the judge to decide 10 favor of either army engaged h thls de- llghtful game Who will excelr' Even though one may declare that the palm shall be awarded 10 the girls for thelr achievement in producing such exquisite effects with seed, soil and water, this rarer beauty gives way before the judge when he finds himself seated at the din ner table whereon are offered all the dainty vegetables of the season. Then his sharpened appetite bids him declare in favor of the boys.
 Thus the final outcome of the game Ill invariably be called "a draw" But chill dren will appreciate such n decision. and when the next sprlngtime rolls round they will be eager to begin playing the game of "Who will excel?" all oyer again.
 MARY GRAHAM.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01
ALL FOOLS DAY.

small turned cut. and there was the greatest rejolclngs and merrymaking, for by thls union they all knew that Golden Fins. "The Worthy" as he was called, would now remain among them.
 The good mother prepared a wedding feast of choicest worms. bugs and dies. which was served in her cozy cavehouse, under the ledge Of rocks. And In this beautiful cavehouse all hung with soft green moss, the water Is delightfully."- cool in summer and warm In winter, and here, as her own son, Golden Fins Is invited by his brides mother to make q home for himself and wife. And we are safe in saving that the sweetest contentment will be theirs and that they will dwell in peace and love to the end of their lives.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01
Conundrums

When is q load of wood like q stringl When corded
 When is woman like q bsd-ftting dress?
 When wrinkled.
 Why Is a new coat in the process of making like a ronst in the process of baking?
 Because both must be pasted. What sort of nose is jolly7 The nosegay (Dose-gay). When is a sticking plaster like sponsei When porous.
 RIDDLES AND ANSWERS. Riddle, riddle, as you may suppose. 1 have many eyes, but never a nose. Answer-A potato.
 If there be chick behind two chicks. a chick in front of two chicks and a chick between two chicks. how many chicks In all?
 Answer-Three chicks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01
April Fool Don Is for
 Boys and Girls.

Don't play rude or practical jokes on anyone Keep within the bounds of good nature and fun.
 Don't get angry when made the butt of anothers harmless jest, but laugh it off and know that the pleasure of April Fools Day lies in being able to take as well as to give
 Don't play pranks on old people. Ever hold old age In respect and reverence and place It above the frivolity of the dny.
 Don't let your jokes be personal. To call attention 10 anothers infirmity. de- formity or dishgurement is most unkind, not to say cruel. and there can be no fun at the expense of anothers deep wound. Don't forget to play on others just the sort of jokes you would not mind having played on yourself. If you observe these dont's ApriI first will pass by pleasantly for yourself and your friends
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01
ABOUT FRIDAY.

Tn view of the fact that Friday Is al. ways considered an unlucky day, a few of the lucky and happy events which have taken place on that day are given here.
 George Washington was born on Fri. day.
 America was discovered on Friday. Shakespeare was born on Friday. The Bastile was destroyed on Friday. The Mayhower Pilgrims landed on Fri. day.
 The Battle of New Orleans was fought on Friday.
 The Declaration of Independence was signed on Friday.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01
April Pooling.

I hate to be fooled k, On April Fools Day! And always from school ] stay clean away. For every mean kid And good kids, too 2 Is sure to play some
 Sort of trick upon you. So, l keep clean away,
 And mo risks do l run By going to school
 To furnish their fun. And at home-mercy, ne! On April Fools Day. l make every minute
 Of my lonely time pay. l put up a joke
 First on the cook, And hide in a corner
 To see how she'll look
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-01

Then into my sisters
 Room I do peep, And finding her out
 | carefully creep To a box of fine candy
 That's sent by her beau, And in place of the caramels I leave pebbles, you know. Then. of course. there Is ma. Whom I mustn't slight; So put her work basket
 In a laughable plight.
New-York tribune., 1906-07-15
RESCINDS ITS ACTION.
N0rrisania Local Board Listens to
BrOnaltes' Protest.

The Morrisania Local Board IN Borough Hall
rescinded Its action of May disapproving the
petition for widening 161st street between
Brook and Third avenues. This action was due
20 a unanimous protest from citizens OF the
Borough OF The Bronx against the former action
Of the board in refusing TO widen the most
important crosstown thoroughfare In the bor-
ough at it's most important point. From Ma
combs Dam Park. on the extreme western side
of the borough, TO Brook avenue, one block
from the termination Of this street 161st street.
1t is fine thorOughfare. wide we'll paved, with
double car tracks and all the requisites Of an
important street
At Brook avenue all it's fineness dwindles.
for there II becomes an alley, only few feet
wide. with car track and insufficient side
walks. This one block. too runs along the
front of the Municipal Court Building;
which the city is spending S1.G00OCO 20 erect
At Third avenue. where 161st street ends. there
is an elevated station. and it is the most i'm
pOrtant transfer point for the crosstown surface
cars. Immense crowds of citizens cOneresate
at this corner at all hours of the Gay trans
rerring 20 the elevated and the crosstOwn cars
and on account OF the, lack Of space and the
back switching OF surface cars made necessary
dents.
The property in question consists OF n str,D og
50 by 100 feet on the north side OF 1Glst street
between Third and Brook avenues The lot
fronting on Third avenue Is owned by a hrey--
ing company. which is making a desperate fght
against the demands of the public for the widen-
ing OF the street, resisting all arguments aDd
demands and bringing 10 bear all OF its powerfI,I
by the city,
mer action the result OF the stubborn fgnt
made by Alderman Charles Kuntze. The matter
was set down for final hearing on August 2.
when IL Is expected that the petition win De
granted and the street wldened.
New-York tribune., 1906-07-15
HOW HE EUsT HAYE FELT.

an eminent legal gentlemen recently told t1.t
story or young man in FaIrhaven. Mass ~sS
sNled SNled as mate Cf whaler. When he rstnEleii
t1ih lons voyage he wished % celebrate, -
ASKED che first friend he met 10 jOln him Du5ls
us t,Is eosenee there had been Temperance Iey,s' Ies
an an every body had taken the pledge. Ihele.l
Snis s9i TREND refused 70 join the ground tha@ -
~ ,s0 tc0 Hfln6 The sstiIOr gOt the ssms reply
- ttteuuS ~ succession Then. IN Gestet--.~.
nu WeHt 20 the headquarters Of the teIlpe-...."i~
soSSoty ana took the pledge. Soon after the 81 -
teA slSA, ana the nate WAS ordered 70 t--cSs
Sosntnanu and sail The next morning hs
@ Uut Gle sFoG 70 the crew but In spite oA j, ~
PottVnsate appetite, he restrained himself az
ny utt'lN either then at a.ly other tine 49,.
VIZ Two years OF The voyage. As soon as ls 'S-g.t
ashore he started for the nearest saloon and ~
= qGatt or rum This be carried % tae 5san
OF tne temperance society. and. SlaulHlile y
on the table before him he delnaedeG Nl--.ers
should take his name from tie list or me- ~ ~
A0e secretary said. Il cannot DO that 49, 40
R0O Because YOU are not a member 4e~
hIAekballel. - Christian ReGIsteI-
New-York tribune., 1906-07-15
BIRTH AND DEATH RATE.
Both Are Decreasing the World Over-What
Will Be the Outoomeg

England is the healthiest country In Europe bay-
ing death rate OF 1875 per 1000 in 1905 Germany
and France have practically the same rate about
l9.5. Everywhere the death rate Is decroasinR and
science improve But if II continually decreases
that unpleasant fact OF the end OF life must cease
The birth rate seems to be decreasing almost every
more births. will theree Fortunately none viii ~
needed II the other rate does its duty and ifson
pears altOgether-EveFybOdy' Magazine. sissy
New-York tribune., 1906-07-15
RACE WEEK At LARcAMoNT.

Extensive preparations are being made for race
week at the IarchmOnt Yacht Club. which viii
open on July q and end July g On each day
there will be races and N che evening there will
be vaudeville shows dramatics by uembe-s OF
The lambs. On July q thnre will pe an omen
regatta for classes including che 90 So 50 and Fo
series FOR the Indian Hsrhor one-des.sn easboat
class the rFst race of the series tor tue New York
race OF the series Tor LarchMOnt Faceabouts. Ths'
CONF