The Minneapolis journal., 1906-07-07
With the Long BolD
How Uncle silas ''Bit'' on the vineless Potato
Company's '.Potatine'' at $3.50 Per Bottle and
Was Avenged by the Postofdce Department Pulling
Fraud Order the Scoundrels
rHE postoffice department
.''Rye natures walks. shoot foily

THE postoffce department has issued fraud
order against the ''Vneess Potato Company =
L made up of some smooth sharps from Chicago
This company advertised that with combination Of
sawdust and "potatine,'' the latter selling for a
$3.50 bottle, many potatoes could be raised
in bin feet wide and 100 feet long in sixty days
as in an of ground in entire The right
to use the system was marketed by the company at
pittance of $25 season.
Every farmer and every potatoraiser knows that,
in shepherding an acre of potatoes, there is more
genuine backache to be found than there is in fddling
cord of oak wood. Figuring out that they could,
under the alurements held out by the Vineless raise
unlimited potatoes for about cents bushel, lot
of farmers with bends in our backs from raising
the potatoes in the old way bought the "potatine@
and began experiments. s-..s '~ .~s~- = @.>$s
Complaints very shortly began to pour into Wash
ngton, resulting in investigation and the present
fraud order, breaking up the potatine industry and
depriving some Chicago patriots of their right to
live off their fellowman. z$'@. =@ II
H@-> >- 49, ~ ~s~@"@:
Nothing throws stronger sidelight Of The
minor disadvantages Of modern progress than the
electric doorbel. In the old days after the knocker
went out Of vogue, the fathers hitched wire to a
knob and attached a bell by spring to the end of
the WIRE The apparatus there for all time. It
never broke down and failed to stir up excite
ment within, resulting in hurried dusting of the
chairs and putting away of aprons and things. All
you had to do to pull the knob.
Modern progress demands electric doorbell and
push button Every six months it is out of order.
The electric company sends boy who wastes day
you and runs up bill for $2.67. In the course
of long lifetime will put out about 100000
on his front door alarm, where grandpa tinkered it
himself in about fifteen minutes and without splitting
the cellar stairs, either. ~..,.e ... -
If we had the courage to get out of this fierce
modern life far enough to string wire in the front
entry and install the good old bell that rang hon
estly to purpose, how dewy, fresh and sweet
life would seem once more.
M4
The little boy who immersed the cannon cracker
in tin full of gasolene and touched it off is
doing quite we'll now, thank YOU
< T. -
When one laborer kills another laborer with a
pickax it does not to- appeal to any good.
IF you going to murder somebody you should see
it carefully that the Spectacular accessories
properly bunched then you get the in Jail and
the jury fines the dead mans family $50O0 A.
49,
t'And the wicked fairy Tarantilla shut up
in the gloomy old castle and got out any more
at all. And Prince Charming and his bride, beloved
by all their people far and near, lived happy ever
after.''
Right in the midst of the story we came out on
the piazza where three little girls sat with heads to-
headed fairy blood in u.s. for the reading not
interrupted and heard all about the nefarious at
tempts of the malicious old thing to separate the
prince and his fairy sweetheart and how they all
came to naught. We learned how the brave prince
slew the giant that ate the people and
how he destroyed the giants castle. Sitting and
watching the three little girls believed every
word of the story and It absolutely true
and we knew it. The big linden tree that overhung
the lot bent to listen and nodded two three
times and we longed for the beatifc vision so that
we might see the real tree and hear what she had
say about it all, for the real linden trees par
ticulary beautiful and wise fairies, tho they do
appear very wooden in the phenomenal world.
AS for the three little girls reading aloud there
could be shade of doubt Their lineage pure
fairy and all loved another terribly and
wished that the old folks would never around
as the coming up and just. fairyland was
beginning to get busy. , "A. j. r.