Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-02-11
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

lin this column will be answered ell questions
OF proper nature submitted TO The Star. In
Quirers should write on side OF the paper only
ofsce. In case OF difncuit connndrIms may
Wdelayed for week or two Consequently e may
column earefuliy.l
GENTLENESs-T my wife am kind
ness Itself. My wife's mother is living with
us. Should / protest against the passage
of the Adams whipping post bilig A
There is no reason why you should. The
Adams bill forbids you to strike your wife.
but leaves the rest of the family open for
engagements. We are awfully glad 20 be
able to relieve your fears.
HoMESTEAD.-Kindly tell me the quick
est way to get rid of a selligereut cook.
Above.
WAR DEPARTMENTAL. Yes. Bill IL
stu bantiug. C2). Yes. We also have heard
the report that there has been a dlminuton
of enthusiasm.
LTTERARY.-I am afflicted with the
genius of authorship and have a great adj
miration for Henry James. Kindly tell me
how to proceed. A.-Take large. corpu-
lent dictionary. reduce to fractions and
place in a hat When thoroughly mixed re-
move the fragments one by one and dictate
TO a cross-eyed stenographer. This is UNI
derstood to be Mr.. James method. and he
is now famous Why not you, Litty?
ANXIOUS.-Is the work of excavatlng
the Panama canal still going on? A.-Slow-
ly, very SLOWLY. The largest excavation vet
on the isthnius is that made by Secretary
Taft when he last visited those parts Mr.
Taft slipped while crossing a piece of
marshy ground.
B.-Wood Is for the fifth wedding ami
versary; what for the first four years? A.
John. Henry, Jane and Maria are good, old
fashioned names.
FOREIGNER explain the Sig
nificance of turning down the four different
corners of visiting cards. A.-The upper
left-hand corner means that you will be in
vited to dinner: the upper right-hand cor
ner indicates that you glad your late
hostess wasn't at home; the lower left
hand corner means that you are In
ceptive mood for dinner invitations; the
lower rfght-hand corner means that you
don't care for sweet champagne next time
AMATEJT R.-Kindly give me a recipe for
mock terrapin. A.-Bere is one we trife
with at-every Sunday evening supper. Take
a large shivery liver. remove the scales
boil and separate into insignificant hunks
When the animal has been reduced to a
proper state of submission excite with red
Pepper; battle tenderly I'm sherry and serve
while steaming.
NOVICE.-While passing through the
marble room of the Capitol the other day
saw sedate-looking parsonage with a
shillalah in one hand and a tomahawk In
the other, standing In expectant attitude.
Who was he and what was he doing7 A.
You saw republican senator waiting for
the Hepburn railway rate bill
INQU1RER.-While riding on Connect
cut avenue car the other day | sat opposite
a frock-coated individual, with an ingrow-
ing ntlStache and mink Wb
breathed the perfume of wood violets. Who
was he? A.-You lucky thing; you were In
the same car with BERTHE Adams of Penn
sylvania, the whipping post persuaded
SPORT.-Kindly describe for me the style
of lettering on the back of f1fty-dollar
gold certificate A.-The next time we
handle well look 1T over. Your heirs
may appreciate the desired information.
FREAKS a two-cent stamp considered
negotiable instrument? A---Decidedly
not. according to our experience the last
time we tried to pay fare home with
two OF them.
RECH constitutes good
form in disposiEg of the soup course at d
formal dinner? A.-The individual Iade
should be showed from north to south. and
rot under any circumstances from east 10
west although northeast by east is coca
sionally allowable. A small Florida sponge
concealed in the palm of the hand Is a
dlStlnct advantage when haste is desired
AUGCSTCS.--1s 1t permissible at any
time to wear rubber collar? A.--The rub
Der collar is only permissible at the sea-
shore. 1t will be found distinct advan-
tage over the ordinary variety in impronnptu
surf bathing.
B.-Why has loving cup three handles?
Am the good old days II was considered
a merry jest to hand friend a cup OF
wine and cut his throat that he couldn't
swallow Ii. The three handles We're in
vented that the person doing the pre-
senting might have both hands occupied
during the ceremony.
LEGAL.-What is the meaning of the ex-
preston he perjured himself like gem
tleman"? Aft your wife should ask you
If she looks young as she did when you
married her twenty years ago. and you
should say, why certainly, darling, In a
loud impressive tone, you would be oper-
ating along the line of the expression under
discussion. There are other examples just
as good, which are better left In mental
cold storage until needed
UNCLE JASPER.