The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-06-15

Iohhu klfkAy resting, with his pipe
hs, smut faced aud blue oyornllcd.
IT'S fair afternoon" sald, "bui
bids TO bc colder"
did | ever tell YOU" began Kirksy
hohorhbly, about the time Henry
HorSecollnr and me took II phonograph
to South American And felt asham.
ell Of my subtcrfugo and dropped into
the wooden chair he kicked toward me-
Henry was a quarter breed, quar-
terbnck Cherokee, educated eaRt In tho
idinma Of football aud west In contra.
band whisky, ana gentleman. same
~ you or me, He was easy and romp
Inv In hts ways Il man about six foot
with II kind Of rubber tire movement
Henry aud me met at Tcxarkana
and figured ont this phonograph
scheme. He had $500 which came 10
him out Of land allotment In the
reservation. ] had run down from Lit.
tle Rock on account Of n distressf,i
scene had Witnessed on the street
there. A man stood on box and pass
ed around some gold watches, screw
case, stem winders, ElgiD movement
very elegant. Twenty bucks they coht
you over the counter. Al 80 the crowd
fought for the tlckers. The man hap
pencd 10 find vnllae full OF them
handy. and he passed them out Ike
putting hot biscuits on u plate. The
backs were hard TO unscrew, but the
crowd put Ita cur 10 the case, and they
licked modifying and agreeable. Three
OF those watches were genuine tickers.
but the rest, they were only kickcrs,
Hey; Why, empty cases. with one
OF them horny black bugs that fly
around electric lights IN 'eIa. Them
dustrious and beautiful. The man I
was speaking Of cleaned mp S2ss and
went away. because hc knew hat when
It came 10 wind watches In Little Roct
an entomologist would be needed. and
he wasn't one.
80. M | say, Henry had $500 and I
had $2sa The phonosraph Idea was
Henry's. but I took 10 II freely. being
fond OF machinery Of all kinds. 4
I'VE bought fine, photograph In
Texarkana--on OF the beat make
and half q trunkful Of records. We
packed up and took the r. and p. for
New Orleans. From that celebrated
center OF molasses and disfranchised
coon songs we took a steamer for--yes.
. / think II was South America or Mexico
IL am full OF inability to diyulge the To-
cation OF tits on the rural delivery
map, It's colorel yellow on the map
and branded with the literature OF
cigar boxes.
I'VE landed on smiling coast at n
town they denounced by the name. as
near as can rccollect. OF sore-toe.
kangaroo. Twas a palatable enough
place TO look at. The houses were
clean and white. sticking about among
tho scenery like hard boiled eggs serv.
ed with lettuce. There was block Of
skyscraper mountains In the suburbs,
and they kept pretty qules, like they
were laying one finger on their lips
and watching the town. And the sea
was remarklng 'Shsh .shF on the beach,
and now and then ripe cocoanut
would fall kcrfip In the sand, and that
was all there was doing.
"The captain went ashore with US
and offered to conduct what he seemed
TO like to call the obsequies. He intro
duced Henry and me to tho United
States consul and roam man, the heed
Of the department Of mercenary and
licentious disposition, the way II read
upon his sign.
"T touch here again week from,
today says the captain.
"By that time we told him, we'll
be amasslng wealth In the interior
towns with our galvanized prlma
donna and correct mutations Of Sousa's
band excavating march from a tin
mine
"'Ye'll not says the captain. Yell
be hypnotlzed Any gentleman In the
audience who kindly steps upon the
stage and looks this country In the eye
will be converted to the hypothesis
that he's but Il fly In tho Elgin cream
cry. Yell be standing knee deep In
the surf waiting for me, and your ma
chine for making hamburger steak out
of the hitherto respected art of music
will be playing There's no place like
home."' ,,t,s ... '.It
"Henry skinned twenty off his roll
and received from the bureau Of mer-
cenary dispositions n paper bearing a
red seal and dialect story, and no
change.
"Then we got the consal full Of red
wine and struck him for horoscope.
He was thin, y0unalsli kind Of man.
should say past fifty, sort OF French
Irish In his affections ,aAd putfcd M
with dlsconsolatlon, Yes, he was, q
Gattened kind of a man In whom drink
lay stagnant, inclined to coSpulcnce
and misery. Ycs, think hc was
kind Of Dutchmnu. being very sud and
genial In his waya.
""The marvellous Invcntlon,' he says,
entitled the phonograph has naycr be
fore invaded these shores, The pco.'o
have never heard It. They would not
believe 1t If they should Simple
hearted children Of nature, progress