Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1906-11-16

ouSiy dDOuL SellluS HdrrleQ. Il war"
'Then why didn't your That's why"
Cleveland Leader.
Gladys Mamma, what is a "cursory"
glance? Mamma-It is the kind of a
look which your father gives when ho
wants to swear, but doesn't dare.
She-Why did Professor SchIncler
stop playing at Mrs. Lard's musicale?
He-He said he had to, because the
conversation was not pitched In tue
same key as his muslc-Harper's Week
ly.
Miss Jenks-Have you really broken
OIL your engagement to him? Miss
Flyte-Oh, yes. / just had to. He was
getting too sentiuental-began to talk
to me about matrimony.-Philadel
Ledger.
MY good man." said the kind old
lady, stopping before cell ALA, what
are you in for?" "Robbln de guests
In hotel, num-" "Were you the pro-
prietor or head waiter ?"-Milwaukee
Sentinel.
THAT man may seem to you some-
what uneducated, and yet he makes a
fine living by his pen." "Why, l would
never take him for a writer" "ue
isn't; he raises pigs" baltimore
American.
"Jlmsby would have had that fat ap-
pointment of his yet, If he hadRt lost
his head" what did he do?" Moth
Ing" Then how did he lost his nead?"
The official ak cut it of. f."-Baltimore
American.
Mr.. Titewodd-If 1 promised you a
dollar, and your Uncle Joe promised
you twenty-five cents, how much would
you have? Tommy Titewodd-I'd
have a pretty good chance at de quar-
ter.-Cleveland Leader.
ITS just flashed on me who that
young man was that spoke to me just
now." "Who Is he? 81 forget his
name, but l was engaged to him In the
mountains before l went to the sea-
shore. American.
Pedestrian-Madam, boy who lam
told Is your son has just thrown a
stone at me, causing a wound that Is
very painful. What are you going to
do about it? Mother-I don't know.
Have you tried arnica New Orleans
Picayune.
That Explains.-Two small BOYS at
the newsboys' dinner put their grlmy
hands side by side upon the tablecloth.
Mines dirtier'n yourn!" exclaimed
one, triumphantly. "Huhw said the
other, disdainfully. you're two years
Dlder'n mel"
did your daughter take physical cuI-
ture lessons while at colleges" asked
the visitor. "Oh, yes," replied Mrs.
Goldrox, proudly. "Shes got so now
she can elevate her little finger Just
lovely when she eats Milwau-
kee Sentinel.
Don't you ever get any vacation?"
pityingly asked the sleek thoroughbred.
vacation" exclaimed the work horse.
Il can go out to the table yard and
roll over, any day in the week, and II!
bet that's more than you ever get 10
do.'-Chicago Tribune.
No Need for Talking.-"Does the
baby talk YETI" asked a friend of the
family. NO." replied the baby's dis
gusted little brother; 1.-THE baby doesn't
need to talk" Doesn't need to talk?''
mo. All the baby has to do is to
yell, and 1t gets everything there Is in
the house that's worth having"
The minister was shocked when the
young lady declined an introduction TO
some Of his parishioners. "Why, NV
dear young lady, did you ever think
that perhaps you will have to mingIe
with these good people when you get
to heaven" WELL" she exclaimed,
that will be soon enough."-Life.
Markley-Subbubs may be induced
to sell his house to me. He says it isn't
far out Of town, either. Wise-No.
only twelve miles from the City Hail.
he told me it was only
ten miles by the railroad. Wise
That's true; ten miles by the railroad
and he walks the other two.-Philadel-
phia Press.
But, Mandy, If you can buy ribbon,
like that for forty-five cents yard at
the little store up here on the corner.
what's the use Of going all the way to.
town, and paying car fare both wavs.
to get 1t for forty-two cents? Yon
don't save anything, do your" "Good.
nsfs, yes. Papa always allows me.
nG'sy for car fare."-Chicago Tribune.