The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-01-28
With the Long BoU
Strong White Light Thrown on the Turkish
Bath by Victim from North Dakota-Ex-
cessive Use of the Emery Wheel and Iron
File Not Recommended in the Case of Thin
Men, Who Are Frequently Worn Away.
Eye natsre's walks. shoot IoHy az 1t flies.

The Grafton Record man has just been against
dollar IS worth of Turkish bath. After short walk
in the altogether accompanied by bed sheet and a
slight Of modesty, he was placed In the oven OF
the city bakery. He adds: ~
1tI was laid out on a cane-seated cot and the
director Of ceremonies began basting out of tub
of water. He left and in ten minutes game back
to see if was DONE 1 followed him out and we next
entered room where he turned enough steam to
run 500 engine out of the state. The steam was SO
thick could not sit down. couldn't stay anyway,
and left as soon as located the door, We then moved
under the rain machine; first hot and then cold L
never did like sudden changes and lodged out We
then went to the marble slab, where rested easily
for minute, while my friend mixed up preparation
of soap and city water. Then he got busy. After
rubbing me thoroly to satisfy himself there he
began playing the sStar Spanged Banner up and
down my back. He put force and other preakfast
foods into his work. I could the stars and feel
the banner. This lasted until II o'clock, when he
rubbed thoroy with rock salt. thought of the
dollar l spent and stood it get my moneys worth
After salt enough to suit the taste he said we
would rinse off. After the rinsing process which was
accomplished by dive in the swimming pool he told
me I had had Turkish bath, and was glad of it.
The Record man was badly cheated if this
his bath And in this way: Just before you go into
the room in all properly conducted Turkish baths,
you should be put the grindstone and the outer rim
of cuticle neatly taken off, Then the man with the
wood file goes you and touches up what CORE
spends to the shell of the lobster. You then
dipped in acid and filed with iron file This puts
you in fine trim for the bath. After the hot room the
steam bath, the rundown and the plunge, you sit
around in winding-sheet and try to blow cigaret
smoke thru all the pores of the body Failure to
do this shows that the bath has not produced
plete cure. Sometimes touch of the emery wheel
will fix this all right.
We knew a very thin man who, after he had
taken a Turkish bath, complained of drafts blowing
thru his pores that sounded like the wintry wind
whstling down the kitchen chimney in the old farm
after the fed and all the family had
retired at 1887 pm
The Turkish bath is the Fat Man IS Glory, but under
its minstrations the thin shrinketh up like
squeezed-out sponge at eventide.
~
t'No," said Frank Rockefeller decidedly, 'tI do
not to inform the courts how uncle frisked the
public and showed father the gentle art of Long Dis
lance Pocket-Picking. This is family affair and
really of the public's business Uncle John per-
feced the scheme and should not be interfered with
in his rights. 1t is disgraceful.'
.5'-~
The senate's reckless haste in this railroad rate
matter seems almost indecent. Can you put your fin
ger on that line of Shakespeare where the immortal
bard says, Let all things be done deeently and in
order'q - :. -.# --- ~
Only three months more of winter and then will
all be being by the big red gasoline tanks
again. Great!
49,. r.. -.--- - . -
A St. Louis is suing for divorce because his
wife clicked him hard that he never recovered
from the Effects If Little Sunshine kicked the
great big Brute doubt he thoroy deserved his pun
ishment and all right thinking people will rejoice that
Sweetie took the law into her fair, overworked
hands-or rather feet-and dished one up for papa
that all the doctors Eastport Ell Paso couldn It
take the jar out Of. May we express the trembling
hope that the shrinking, down-trodden one did not
wrench herself in administering correction to the part
ner of her joys and sorrows-in this case sorrowss
Aren't men the wretches7 A j. X.