Connecticut western news., 1906-09-13
UNCLE EZRA PERKINS
TELLS OF SAM APPLEBY'S TRIALS

Running for Office a Great Help to the
 Eyesight-The Horse, The Cow and
 The utomoble-Mirandy's Pie Re-
 ceipt for Brand New Brides
 Pompoonick, Sept. tEe s, 1906. MT. Editur:-
 Sum fokes can rite news when their aint none but can't therefore and for that reezon I haint rote you nothin' lately. About this time Pompoonickers iz too buzzy on the farm and a cookin' grub fer the sitty boreders and gittin' stuff reddy fer the fares to be doin' auy thing else that's news. Leastwise that s the way 1t seems to me, altho mebbe l haint got the nose fer news what hearn SO mach about frum that yung moose paper feller what boreded with us last yeer durin' of his vacation. Why, Land O Goshen, he'd ride down to the store morSin's with me and he'd see lots of things that he sed wood make news Il 'Pompoonick had noosepaper, things that wuz so kommon to me that l didn't notis 'em at all scarcely. But things'll briten up this fall when the huskin' bees and the peach festivals start and durin' of the winter when We hev the donations and church fares and sup pers and shows down to the hall and the lectures on Egypt at the church and the wimmen's rites conventions aad the missionary meetins and the farmers club meetins and the wimmen's sowin' sassieties and the literary club meetins and concerts and the Christmas doins and the beekeepers' >leetins and the tobacco growers meetins and few more things like this that I don't jest think of now.
 Traps we'll hev political meetin' or two even though this haint the yeer we elect the President again.
 Say. speekin' of election. did you ever notis how awful friendly the feller what wants to run fer office gifts along towards fall? Why I've known 'em to be so neer sited earlier in the yeer that
 
 they coodn't see you when you passed 'em on the sidewalk, but when they git the idee that they'll run fer office they can see @ feller rite through brick house. wunder what they iz about it that braces up feller's eye site so terrible. Mine haint az good az it used ter be and I'd run fer constable this fall if thought it wood do 1t emmy good but anuther fun ny thing about It I've notised IS that the eyesite most genrully fails 'em agin after election. They'll whiz by you behind their fast hosses or in one o'them autY- mobeels and they don't seem to reolize you're anywhere eround.
 Speekin' of autymobeels reminds me of one thing that's happened in Pom poonick since I rote you last. You re- member Squire Appleby's boy Sam don't you? We'll Sam thought he'd pick up a few odd dollars by doin' teamin' fer folks so he hung up a card down to the store, advertisin that he wuz reddy fer wurk and blzness started off real sort o'brisk like with him. One day he left his hoss a standin' i'll frunt of Absolom Jenkins place (they say as how he's sweet on Abs" girl, but that haint got nothin' to do with the story and along cum a autymobeel and the hoss started and didn't stop until their want enuff left of that wagon to fill a peck measure. Sam hez got good grit and , bought anuther wagon but made up hiz mind then and there to swap that hoss fer one that didn't care nothin' bout them whiz carts so he took the hoss to the sitty and swapped fer one that woodn't a moved out of its tracks If they wuz a milyun of 'em eround him,
 'Twuz a fare to middlin' hoss and Sam wuz awful tickled. One day, how ever, suthin' happened what Sam hadn 'tfiggured on. That hoss he'd al- ways been born and brung up in the city and want way-wise out in the country. One day when Sam wuz un- loadin' sum stuff at the store, Lige Wool sey's old mooley COW cum a saunterin' up the street, a stoppin' here and there  to git mouthful of grass or to switch off bunch of flies She cum on slow and finally stopped in front of Sam s hoss and looked it over az if she knew it wuz new arrival ill town. Then, az if she wuz kinder impressed with its looks she opened her mouth and let out a friendly boiler that fairly shook the ground. It wuz rite then, that instant that Sam's hoss that didn't care nothin about autynobeels, steem rollers, electriB cars, hoss cars, circus prades nor nuthin of that sort, histed itself up on it's hlnd legs, give a jump and started down Has. kins street like mad. There wuz even less left of that wagon than of the fusi one, and besides the loss of that Sam he'd to pay fer the cheeze, krackers sugar, codfish, molasses and other store stuff what wuz tumbled out into the rode and