davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1906-07-12

that city has discovered a process
of making fuel out of packing
house waste products. There is
not enough waste from a packing
house, however, to make his dis
covery of any real value.
The new rule of the dancing
masters that there shall be no more
hugging in the waltz may cause
many young folk to prefer to re-
main at her home and spend the
evenings in the dim shadows of
the vine covered veranda.
The students of an Illinois uni
versity were advised by the chan
cellor to adopt Samson as their
example. AS the foot ball season
approaches many of them do so
by refraining from haircuts.
We do not know how the name
of the winner of the French motor
race (Szisz) is pronounced in
French, but in English it sounds
like a fusion of the squirt of a
settler syphon and the half sup
pressed sneeze of a timid maiden,
All DER the sad land hangs a cloak
OF deepest sombre hue;
We're hungering for one more joke
From Chauncey M. Depew.
A human nature item from the
Erie, Kansas, Record: "a girls
wading party was given at Erie
one day last week. No boys were
invited, but in the afternoon a
merchant hunted all over town for
a boy to run an errand andcouldn't
find one"
A noted English physician de-
clares that women will enjoy better
health if they will maintain abso-
lutte silence for at least an hour
every day. American women who
try the experiment will no doubt
choose an hour when their hus-
bands are down town.
Some of our American packing
house beef must be in fearful con-
dition when it reaches Germany.
A Berlin official turned up his
nose at a plate of it and ordered
fully matured limberger cheese in
its stead.
Those ice trust magnates who
have been jailed at Toledo, Ohio,
should feel quite at home in the
cooler.
The June brides will now please
retire from the glare of the honey
moon. The left-overs who are be-
ing welded in July desire to use
the honeymoonlit bridal path.
The women of Missouri are try
ing to save Mrs. Myers from the
gallows. She is the lady who dis
posed of her husband without in
curing the expense of a divorce
,,,,
, 1906-07-12
So Have We.

Have O ever been In Cork?"
NO. but I've seen a lot OF drawings
OF IT,. Cleveland Leader.
, 1906-07-12
JingIes & Jests
by James Barton Adams
A Ranchsr Talks.

Ranehsr Talks.
That city gal at our house! &C.
whiz, but she kin sing!
An pound the oil pianner till the
mountains fairly ring,
Sometimes so low an soothin' that
l want to go to sleep,
Then tearin' off the loud strips till
my flesh begins to creep!
l could set an lissen till the final
crack O. doom
Sort o hypnotized or hooded in
a corner O. the room
When her voice is turtle-dovish,
but it allus gives me chills
When she gifts to garglin' music,
which my darter says is trills.
When she sings about my oil Ken
lucky home SO fur away
L kin hear the niggers singin' an
kin hear the banjo play,
An the go-to-meetin' songs she
sings on Sunday-by request,
Seems to make my OF heart melt
with holy fire in breast,
But whenever she hits somethin'
of a classicaller kind
An assaults that OF pianner like
she's try'n' to beat it blind
| am seized with a emotion fur to
hike out fur the hills,
Fur | don't like gargled music
which my darter says is trills.
Get out your 1904 Bryan hat
and have it primped up on a 1908
block.
A Kansas paper calls attention
to the fact that Senator Benson has
short legs, but if they reach from
his body to the ground that is all
that is necessary.
Physicians all over the land are
now giving mothers the post
Fourth of July assurance: "Your
boy will live, but he will never be
as handsome as he was"
1t is said that the wife of Gov
ernor Harris of Ohio, washes her
W dishes and scrubs her kitchen
floor. 1t is probable that she also
gets up in the morning and starts
the executive mansion kitchen fire
and darns his excellency's socks.
Vesuvius is again singing mud.
That old hot-mouthed spouter is
getting as bad as an American
party organ.
The Wisconsin Democratic state
convention was held at Milwaukee
a few days ago and the enthusiasm
was distinctly heard in the sub
urbs of Chicago that are away from
the rumble and roar of the street
cars.
Mae Woods is now e~ndeayoring
to pose as a heroine. She declares
that she was married to Senator
Tom Platt for two whole years.
1t will be just like Roosevelt to
return from the isthmus wearing
a Panama hat with the rear rim
turned up like the tail of a fight
ing cock.
He has laid his strenuosity upon
the White house shelf
And sought the peace of Oyster
Bay there to enjoy himself;
He has tossed the congress off his
hands, has fled from voicy
sounds.
And put some healing salve upon
Ben Tillman's pitchfork
wounds.
Now if they'll let him r. |. p.
he'll taste of restful joys,
Play checkers with the old town
folk, go fishing with the boys,
, 1906-07-12

Physicians all over the land are
now giving mothers the post
Fourth of July assurance: "Your
boy will live, but he will never be
as handsome as he was
, 1906-07-12

1t is said that the wife of Gov
ernor Harris of Ohio, washes her
own dishes and scrubs her kitchen
floor. 1t is probable that she also
gets up in the morning and starts
the executive mansion kitchen fire
and darns his excellency's socks.
, 1906-07-12

A Kansas paper calls attention
to the fact that Senator Benson has
short legs, but if they reach from
his body to the ground that is all
that is necessary.
, 1906-07-12

The women of Missouri are try
ing to save Mrs. Myers from the
gallows. She is the lady who dis
posed of her husband without in
curing the expense of a divorce
suit.
, 1906-07-12

Vesuvius is again singing mud.
That old hot-mouthed spouter is
getting as bad as an American
party organ.
, 1906-07-12

Those ice trust magnates who
have been jailed at Toledo, Ohio,
should feel quite at home in the
cooler.
, 1906-07-12

The June brides will now please
retire from the glare of the honey
moon. The left-overs who are be-
ing welded in July desire to use
the honeymoonlit bridal path.
, 1906-07-12

Some of our American packing
house beef must be in fearful con-
dition when it reaches Germany.
A Berlin official turned up his
los at a plate of it and ordered
fully matured limberger cheese in
it's stead.
, 1906-07-12

1 buy and sell any old thing from
a wheel barrow to a 5000 acre ranch
Hurry up. ID. S. Crawford
, 1906-07-12

Get out your 1904 Bryan hat
and have it primped up on a 1908
block.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
R|OTOUS Firms
FAIRLY HANDLED

Lansing, Mich, Dec. z0.--In re-
Spouse to request of the Russian
ambassador at Washington, made u
Governor Warner, Attorney General
Bird has investigated the charges
that unnecessarily drastic measures
were taken by the authorities of On
tonagon county to suppress the riot
of Finnish striking miners July 81
last, when two Firms were killed and
another seriously wounded. A criti-
cism which the attorney general be-
lieves Is somewhat justified, was that
the sheriff imprisoned about 100 Firms
without regard to their presence at
the scene of the trouble and kept
them in the public hall for five or six
days during which an investigation
was in progress to determine who
were criminally Implicated. The sner-
IFS defense was that he feared a
general uprising OF Finnish residents
1t was not true, LIE attorney genera
found, that Superintendent Brady shot
one man and that another striker be-
sides the two had been shot and
secretly buried by the mine officials.
Fourteen strikers await trial for
greater or less offenses in connection
with the affair and Bird expresses the
opinion that they Will be dealt with
fairly.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
catarrh Cannot Be Cured

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they can
not reach the seat Of the disease. Catarrh
is a blood or constitutional disease and in
order to cure it you must take internal rem
edies Halls Catarrh Cure is taken intern
ally, and acts directly on the blood and mu-
cous surfaces Halls Catarrh Cure is not
quack medicine. 1t was prescribed by one
of the best physicians in this country for
years and is regular prescription. 1t is
composed of the best tonics known, com
bined with the best blood purifiers acting
directly on the mucous surfaces. The per-
feet combination Of the two ingredients Is
what produces such wonderful results in
curing Catarrh. Send for testimonials free.
r. J. CHENEY & CO., Props, Toledo, 0.
Sold by Druggists, price 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS.

To clean white paint, take small
quantity of whiting on a damp piece
of old flannel and rub over the surface
lightly. 1t will leave the paint re
markedly bright and new.
Keep the roots of the celery plant
dry, CRATE them and mix the powder
with one-third as much salt. Keep the
bottle well corked. This is delicious
in soups, GRAVES, hasnes, etc
To clean panama hat, ruo with a
cloth dipped in peroxide, repeating
the operation several times, or cut a
lemon in half and dip in sulphur and
rub the nat with it. Let dry ard re-
peat it until desired shade is reached.
To mend broken china, powder a
small quantity of lime and take the
white of one egg and mix together to
paste. Apply quickly to tne china
to be melted, place the pieces firmly
together and they will soon become
set and strong, seldom breaking I'm
the same place again.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
The Provincial New Yorker.

Adding millions to its population
and stories to its skyscrapers every
decade intensifies rather than de-
creases, the provincialism OF New
York City. No new point OF vantage
is gained for the better observation
Of what the 100000 other people OF
the nation are doing. To the New
Yorker the universe is bounded on
the south by the Sandy Hook light
ship, on the north oy the Harlem, on
the east by Jamaica bay and on the
west by Hoboken. A few stars are
thrown In overhead and stories are
told of people who inhabit the places
where this little world sloughs oil
beyond the horizon. In the nerrow
confines Of New York City lack Of
knowledge as to the remainder OF
the nation constitutes no drawback
and extreme provincialism is a vir-
tue Detroit Free Press.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
Eiremen Rescue Woman.

Milwaukee, Dec. 20.-With smoke
and flames pouring from the windows
and all escape cut off, Mrs. Mary
Stimpel, a daughter of David John
ston, appeared at the bathroom win
dow on the second floor of her fathers
house screaming frantically for help
and prepared to jump for her life,
during fire which destroyed a part
of the house. Noting the woman's
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
A Great Outside Remedy.

Most pains are of local origin--a
'crick" in the back twinge of rheuma-
tism, a soreness all over arising from a
cold--are all cured by outside applica-
lions. The quickest, safest and most GER
tain method is Allcock's Plaster. known
the world over as universal remedy for
pain. They never fail they act promptly,
they are clean and cheap. You can go
right ahead with your work while the
healing process goes on. Sixty years use
has given them great reputation.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
TERRIBLE ITCHING SCALP.
Eczema Broke outAlso on Hands and
Limbs-An Old Soldier Declares:
"Cuticura Is a Blessing.


"Cuticura Is Blessing.
AT all times and to all people 1
am willing to testify to the merits of
Cuticura. 1t saved me from worse
than the torture of hades, about the
year 1900, with itching on my scalp
and temples, and afterwards it COM
menced to break out on my hands.
Then 1t broke out on my limbs. | then
went to a Surgeon, whose treatment
did me no good, but rather aggravated
the disease. | then told him | would
go and see physician in Erie. The
reply was that | could go anywhere,
but case of eczema like mine could
not be cured; that | was too old $50.
went to an eminent doctor in the
city of Erie and treated with him for
six months. with like results. had
read of the Cuticura Remedies, and so
l sent for the Cuticura Soap, Ointment,
and Resolvent, and continued taking
the Resolvent until had taken six bot
ties, stopping it to take the Pills.
was now getting better. | took two
pdlnS uay, anu at ulSut let lne
lather of the Soap dry on. | used the
Ointment with great effect after wash
ing in warm water, to stop the itching
at once am now cured. The Cuti-
eura treatment is a blessing, and
should be used by every one who has
itching of the skin. | can't say any
more, and thank God that He has
given the world such a curative. VIM.
FL. Gray, 1903 Mt. Vernon ST., Phila-
delphia, Pa, August 2. 1905"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27

secured ladder and placing it
against the house, quickly removed
the sash with his axe and gathering
Mrs. Stimpel in mis- arms, with smo6e
and flames about them, made his way
safely to the ground.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
Selfish George.

Just think of it.Every glrl in our
set has been divorced but me"
why don't George let you have a
divorce?"
"Oh, the ninny says he loves me. =
Washington Herald
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
Heard Out of Meeting.

Some folks think dc country is
gwine ter de devil
''Yes; de oil sinner isn't 'commu
datin, huff ter come for it."..Atlanta
Constitution.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27

That our American foros.s 1
NAV oui 1Ala D1L ieah ioreSts ABOUND in
PI:~:x.l ,~;.,os 80 iuooe valuable
Inv scores of the moot o,ni,,r,,. 100 'eu
.,.r;to,s and teocbarS El ,enS medical
W. - In sIaene - Even the UNTIL
toreu lhuiahs hdu discovered the useful
ness OF many native plants before the
advent OF the white race. This informal
ton, impaired freely to the whites Ia
the latter to continue investioa t;nnS 80, ,.u
to-day we have a rich assor,r,a. ra 10 s ulel
yalnahla AY,ar;o,,, Vi most
iu0Dio 1Anieiican niedielhal roots.
- - =
Dr Pierce helievas that o,. A,
io3 me cuIo>Qs most OBSTINATE and fatal dis
easfs. II "e,wouAQ properly investigate them;
and II teAhrr1a tQn OF this conviction. he
poiree> with pride>0 the almost n1arvalope
cures effected by his wGoIden Na5ica1 ~
coyery-r which has r-ora-, 49, - -
,5osf cjan, ~ ne Inc
sesI. - Ionlc LIVER lnYlgQg-
slAla AeaII Ionic and REGULATOR. and blood
cleanser known TO medical science Dyspap-
STA. or Indigestion. torpid liver. functionar
and even valvular and other affections 81
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27

A country paper lays down these
rules of etiquette: when a lady ana
gentleman are walking in the street
the lady should walk inside the
gentleman"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
Entombed.

Borus (struggling author" Naggus,
that last book of mine isn't meeting
with much success, but don't you
think it will live?'
Naggus (book reviewer)-"lt will,
my dear fellow, IL there is such a
thing as a general literary resurrec-
ton"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
Not Her Fault.

"Norah, l want you to keep that
policeman out OF The kitchen"
Il know 1t isn't good form, mem
but he just won't 60 into the pararlor. 1"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
BOTH SIDES TO BIG FIGHT TO
BE REPRESENTED.
VICTORY STILL IN DOUBT
New York Life and Mutual Persist
IN Their Claims of Sweeping Ad-
ministration Success - Harmony
Prevails in Election of Equitable
Directors.

New York, Dec. 2O.-The task of
counting the 7S5.O0O votes cast at the
elections for trustees held Tuesday
by the New York and Mutual Life
companies will begin probably early
next week.
The board of inspectors of each
company has secured the services of
expert accountants who will have
charge of counting and tabulating
the votes. Separate accounting firms
have been employed by the two com
panies.
When the count begins both sides
will have regularly commissioned
watchers present and the ballots and
proxies which are considered fraudu-
lent or illegal will be duly challenged.
Undoubtedly a large number of dupli-
cate ballots have been cast inadvert-
emily. Many policy holders who
have held in either company more
than one policy have cast a vote on
each policy, although only entitled to
vote once. Many proxies are made
out in foreign languages.
The results of the elections are
still in doubt, both sides claiming the
victory. The officers of the New
York Life have not reduced a parti-
Gle of their estimate of the victory for
the present management by a plural
ity Of 100000, and the administration
of the Mutual estimates its plurality
at 100000. The International policy
holders committee, however, still
lays claim to having carried the Mu-
tual's election by $500 to 10000 and
the New York Life by 5000.
Harmony in the Equitable.
Thirty thousand ballots were cast
by the policy. holders of the Equitable
Life Assurance society yesterday for
2S directors of that society. Every
ballot was for the administration
ticket, which was the only one in
the field and was composed of the
names of the men whom the trustees,
headed by former President Grover
had already placed on the
board of directors to fill vacancies.
The ticket was nominated by Mr..
Cleveland and his associates
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27

Mrs. WinsIow's SOOTHING SYRUP for chill
dren teething softens the gums, reduces infiam-
nation allays pain, cures wind collie. Is cents
bottle
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY.
Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinlne Tablets.
Druggists refund money II it fails to cure.
u. w. GROVES signature is on each box. 25c.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27

jeremiah Curtin, who is dead in
Vermont, was a linguistic prodigy,
but not the greatest one of modern
times. Another American, Elihu
Burritt "the learned blacksmith" is
credited with knowing 80 languages
and dialects, as against Curtin's 20.
Both were exceeded by Cardinal Mez-
zofanti, whom Lord Byron called a
monster of languages, a Briaereus.
of parts of speech, walking poly
glot." The cardinal had practical
knowledge of ia tongues or varia.
tons of them. The learned DR.. Tafel
of Philadelphia used every year to
learn a new language as a recrea-
ton during his summer vacations
There are plenty of men who have
mastered 25 or 80 languages, but Cur
tin was a wonder nevertheless, and
was so regarded the world over.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27

Ex-senator Frank Avery is lying at
his Baraboo home with a broken leg,
the result of a fall on an icy place
in his own yard. He is considerably
past 20, but of most robust constitu-
ton and is convalescing rapidly. Mr..
Avery is a fine old English gentle
man.-at least he was born in Britain
while Victoria was yet young on her
throne; and only 16 miles away was
the home of Dickens. Avery, as a
lad naturally knew much of the great
novelist Mr.. Avery came to Amer
lea in the early SOS and his life at
Baraboo spans nearly thee whole his
tory of that present-day city of 5000
souls. He has been honored in near
ly all possible ways by his fellow
townsmen and no man has been more
loyal to every trust
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27

The oldest citizen of Montfort, Mrs.
Cincinnati in 1S41 and came to Wis
consin in 1927. In 1928 she was mar
ried to Samuel Moore and in 1S4S she
came to Wingville with her second
husband, George Leadbetter, who
afterward went to the California gold
mines and was killed. She was the
mother of IL children, six of whom
survive.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
BRIEFS ABOUT BADGERS.

G. E. Vandercook, one of the ablest
of Wisconsin newspaper writer's, will
represent a cream city daily as leg
islative correspondent. He is one of
the brethren of the press who pos
sesses an unusual understanding of
state politics, policies and persons
and to whom clean journalistic ethics
are an instinct.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-12-27
PILES CURED IN 8 TO IA DAYS

PAZo OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any
case of Itching Blind, Bleeding or Protrud-
Ing Piles in 6 to IA days or money refunded.
Doe
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1906-01-30

Never watch others unless you
are prompted by the desire to find
something to applaud.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1906-01-30
Santa Maria.

Walter Mcneil. of the Santa
Maria Irrigation company, accom-
panied by his brother Percy, arriv-
ed in the city today at noon. They
give good report of their section.
and say they have not yet had
cause to reconstruct the good i'm
pressions received on their first
visit, unless it would be to say
they are becoming more pleased all
the time.
Asked as to the effects of the re-
cent freeze Walter Mcneil says
his section did not suffer so much
as is reported from other localities,
although he considers one halt the
cabbage crop killed.
Mr.. Mcneil says there will be at
/ least ESQ acres of various products
this year. Alfalfa, cotton, and
sorghum will be the staples, with
good acreage of melons and other
truck.
Last Saturday the company COM
pleted an air line dirt road from
end of the canal right of way across
the Arroyo to San Francisco, flag
station on the Gulf Coast Line.
The road is two and a half miles
long, twenty feet wide, grubbed
and graded and lessons the dis
lance to the nearest shipping point
about one-half. The railroad has
agreed to build a spur provided
the Irrigation company will build
a roadbed, which will be done in
the very near future, thus further
facilitating shipping from that
section.
Mr.. Mcneil says an air of pros
perity and activity IS very notice
able all over The Santa Maria Coun-
try, and that there are fifteen
Americans there now, whereas a
few months ago there were only
two or three.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1906-01-30
Collected the Debt.

A claim was once placed in the
hands of Judge Peters of Bangor,
Maine, for collection. A notice was
sent to the debtor, who called and
promised to pay the following Sat
urday. The judge said: Now,
don't say you will pay Saturday
night unless you will mean to; just
take a few more days and be sure
Say you will pay next Wednesday. "
All right, said the man, if
live until next Wednesday will
pay that bill"
Wednesday came, but no man
appeared to settle the bill, where
upon the judge wrote out a notice
of the death of the man and put ii
in the daily paper. The next day
the bill was settled.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1906-01-30
Facts About Folks.

A business in Australia is that
of lending engagement rings and
wedding trousseaus.
A Russian alienist reports that
in 2421 cases of solitary imprison-
ments he found 86insane persons.
In some German cities the hands
of criminals are photographed as
we'll as their heads for the purpose
of Identification.
In the French city of Beauvais a
small vehicle, built with two wheels
and drawn by man or boy, is in
common use. 1t is called vinai-
grette.
Jacob Steiner of Brooklyn has a
collection of rare pistols, said by
experts to be one of tue most COM
plete in this country, if not in the
world. 1t represents twentys years
of work.
Switzerland has adopted mid
European time. the true local time
for Bern being just half an hour
later. The result of putting the
working hours thirty minutes ear
lier in the day has had such an eff
feet on the consumption of ga:
that the gas company has been de-
handing a return to the old sys
tenn.
Scotland Yard, widely known
as the headquarters of the London
police, is a historical place sale
to have been the site of palace
where kings CT Scotland where re
ceived when they came to London
1t is near the banqueting hall
Whitehall. The Scotch kings re
tanned possession of it from $50 til
the rebellion of William of Scot
land. Milton, Sir Christopher Wrei
and other notables lived in Scotland
Yard.