davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07
DRIVERS OF cAIRo.


All over the orient the footman
has no rights. AT Constantinopie
he seems to be more brutally treated
than elsewhere. There the driyers
seem TO try to run him down with
out warning But in Cairo they
have series of curious cries with
which they warn a footman. They
specify the particular part of his
anatomy which Is III danger thus:
Look out for thy left shin, D
uncle"
Boy. have ea-e for the little
toe ON thy right foot"
20 blind beggar, look out for thy
STAFF
And the blind beggar, feeling his
way with the staff in his right hand.
At once obediently turns 10 the left.
20 Frankish woman, look out for
thy left foot.'
20 burden bearer. thy load is in
danger"
20 water carrier, look out for the
tail end of thy pigskin water bot
tle,"
80 son of Sheitan, conceived IN
the Bah El Tophet, have II care and
look to thy camel's left pannier, or
it will be hurt ~
20 fellah farmer, swing around
thy buffalo so that his left bullock
may not strike on my right wheel :.
80 carter, why dost thou let thy
cart project across the khedives
highway"
20 group of four fellaheen stand
ing in the roadway, if the gent on
the left. him with the blue gown
and the white turban. does not get
wiggle on him quick my horse will
send him where the black eyed
houris are comforting the true be-
levers, Cluck, Git ep. La Allah
il Allah, Vow" "A Levantine
Log Book" by Jerome Hart.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

A commercial traveller quietly
came up to stranger in u railway
station Just as the train was about
to start and asked:
Are you going by this train"
Il am"
Have you any luggage
"No."
"Well, nv friend, you might do
me favor. / have two big trunks,
and they always make me pay ex-
t-a for one of them. You take one
for me. 1t will cost you nothing.
you see."
"Yes, | see. but ! haven't any
ticket"
"Why. thought you said you
were going by this train =
$50 l am. I'm one of the com
psny's inspectors
''Oh."
The extra Was paid. London
Mail.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07
murILArEp MONEY.
esaditis~s Under Which Il Will D ~
dssassd BY uWeis Sam.

oee0eo ~ O"ese OSm.
The United States goyernmont
will pay for mutilated bill provid-
ed that three-tifths of il are recoy-
cred. The method of determining
just what part of the note remains
Is rather interesting. Each mutilat-
ed bill is carefully pasted on back
ing of paper the size of the com-
plete bill. The expert has piece of
glass the exact size of the bill. This
glass is divided into forty squares.
When placed over the bill if the ex-
pert can find that the remnants of
the bill fill twenty-four of the
squares. or three-tifths OF them, the
bill will be redeemed.
Not long ago a Missouri farmer
was leaning over to feed his pigs
when he dropped his purse into the
pen. When he discovered his loss
an hour later he searched the pen
and found the purse. but nothing of
its contents. The pigs were slaugh-
tered that day and the remains of
Tbr.o hundraJ dollars were return
aa % ,ha fsr,ner
pu.n..a ,annar = III. b,ra.s, 10,
,ha aor.rnnsnt sxnars to work an
III H. ,os.;ll. .xcant;op of mon
-, n.h;ah t. ha.n anawaJ bv m;ca
Tha danar,mant at W,sb;noton
go raopirad a .;aar how fnII ~
80, mh;oh ho5 Laan se,t from
sio,rL;a IL a.. n.o.ssary Of
sda~;, sbnw;ra hat II had bsen in.
- = noorIy cons,rneted safe and
haJ haep burned ,o tbs condition in
which II WAS forwsrded Evidently
m;,h ,ha ia. ,h., The or;o;nal nact.
sn. ~, moi N h. hroken tho
49,. IS ;na,a.o1 IN. chsrraJ n;.ces
81, - H. oo;ns wh;.h nd
w. - - sJ, ,,rn.J s.f.
a. H. = ua.s',. ,hronah ,h. mails tho
-, ~ D p;i,a. uas helen ,hronah The
nharraI h;Ii. I'll, there was hardly I.
.,a' e'. " ,.,. III. ~ ~ AZ. La.J - !.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

A good dog enjoys a reputation
- 4 guardian Of the house. but a
certain old woman puts her faith in
cats. Her house was entered some
time ago, and her belief in her pet
was justified. The midnight hour
had not long struck when she heard
unusual sounds in the hall below
She slipped out of bed, took her
faithful feline. which always spent
the night in her room. in her arms
and walked quietly on the landing.
She leaned over. A burglar was on
the stairs. Suddenly in an unlucky
moment he struck n match. The
lady then dropped puss upon the
burglars head. The cat uttered an
unearthly screech and began to use
its claws for all it was worth. The
next instant the man was outside in
the street.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

A little girl attended distribu-
tion of prizes given by the Society
For the Prevention Of Cruelty to
Animals. She had won Q book as Q
reward for writing the hest essay on
the subject given and, with the 9TH
er successful children. was undergo
ing a viva voce examination.
~Well, nv dear" said the gentle
man who had given away the prIzes,
"can YOU tell me why it is cruel to
dock horses tails and trim dogs
ears.-
because" answered the little
girl. what God had joined together
let no man put asunder."
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

Victor Hugo liked to be praised.
Robert Marlborough Sherard, author
of Twenty Years In Paris" tells
how when young women from Ing
land or America came to gaze upon
the master. as occasionally 1t was
permitted them to do, the interpret
er of their simple praises did not
boggle matters in the least. The
young ladies would say in English
or American something like this:
''Oh. tell Mr. Hugo that we have
read his works and like them so
much and that we are so pleased to
see him." These seemly encomiums
would be rendered thus: "lllustri-
Gus master, these young daughters
of the young republic Tor OF an an
tique monarchy, as the case might
bel feel it impossible to leave Paris
without laying at the feet Of that
genius which is the imperishable
glory of France and the wonder and
honor Of the universe the laurel
wreath of their profoundest sdmira-
ton and homage"
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

There was blood in the eyes OF
the two suburban housewives a.
they glared daggers At one another
over the whitewashed fence.
AS for you," hissed the one in
the red knit jacket, Il don't know
what could say that would be suffi-
GENTLY severe. hate YOU"
And you," retorted the one in
the blue shawl. "are really not worth
wasting breath over. So there@
There was a painful pause, and
then the one in the knit jacket con-
tinued:
Il would say = great deal more
were it not for your sweet little
baby"
"Do-do you really think he is
sweet 2"
Il do, and l am not backward
about saying il, although l desPise
his mother. He is the prettiest lit
tie boy in twenty blocks"
"Then-then let's make up.
Neighbors shouldn't be enemies. Ill
hand YOU a dish Of stewed prunes
over the fence."-Chicago News.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07
A GRATEFUL saIeAHp.
Yhs Sssry Of -rhs Church Of the Cup
sf Coid Mater"

One of the many churches of
Spain bears the strange name of
The Church of the Cup of Cold
Water This Is its history; \ GER
tain good hearted but very poor
priest, living in little village not
far from the mountains, Was sta--
tied one day by two or three sol
diers entering his house, carrying
with them a bleeding brigand with
= broken arm The priest fastened
10 bind up the wounded arm,
though the eaptors seemed 10 care
little whether or not their prisoner
lived. The injured man, who bore
his sutferings without a groan. then
begged for a drink of water, and as
he raised himself to receive II, en-
couraged by the priests kind man
ner, he whispered that his two chill
dren were left friendless ON the
edge Of the wooded hills. When the
prisoner had been dragged away the
cure went in search of the poor
children, found them CRYING and
hungry and brought them to his
humble home. Then, poor as he
was, he sent the boy to school and
the girl to a neighboring convent
and. bv much self denial and in
spite of many remarks on his folly,
provided for their support.
Years passed away, and the chill
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07
RED TAPE AND A BICYCLE.


Nfe SbSsS" WoS~ss
One Tribal, going on a journey,
left his bicycle in charge of a wine
shop keeper, from whom it was
stolen BY one Bidard. The man is
caught and YOUR bike is safe with
the police" Tribal was told when
he returned. He went TO the COM
missary, showing him the notitca-
tion sent respecting the theft by
the police TO the wine shop keeper,
and claimed his machine. 60 to the
lost property Office said the otii-
cial, ''and you will get your bike on
proof of your identity" Tribal went
thither armed with all the papers he
possessed. Good" said the CLERK.
snow 90 to the police commissary
of YOUR neighborhood and obtain a
certificate of identity from him
Tribal went thither, and the com-
missary said. Come tomorrow with
two witnesses holding licenses.
Tribal did 80 and obtained a paper
certifying that for the last five years
his moral behavior had given the
police cause for no complaint. Arm
ed with this Tribal went back to the
lost property Office. Good" said
the clerk. Now write out full re-
port of the whole matter in this
book" Tribal sat down and wrote
a narrative of 800 words. Snow
come with me-" said the clerk. and
led him to room containing 1000
bicycles stacked in rows. lie dis
covered his machine after u pro-
longed search and was taking it off
when the clerk stopped him, saying.
1.-The ticket on this bicycle bears the
name Bidard, and YOU allege that
You are Tribal
"les,' answered Tribal, Il am
the owner. Bidsrd is the thief.
"In that case" said the clerk, ''here
is number which YOU must take TO
the prefecture of police. where you
will obtain authority TO get the BIZ
cycle out of this Office The next
day Tribal went to the prefectare,
where he was called Bidard. and in
formed that he would shortly he in
dicted before the correctional court.
"No," said Tribal YEARLY. Il am
Tribal. the owner of the bicycle.
Bidard is the thief" "And who in
the world is Thibal!" the clerk ask
ed. I'VE know nothing of Tribal
here. We only know Bidard. You
must GO to the Palais de Justice,
taking with YOU a paper To prove
your identity, such as receipt for
rent and taxes" Tribal duly went
to the Palais de Justice and claimed
his bicycle. "Out of the question,
said the clerk. 1.-The bicycle is no
longer your property technically.
but that of the examining magls-
trate. and will be retained for pro-
duction as evidence at the trial of
Bidard. You cannot claim it before
the trial is over unless you now APP
point counsel to prosecute on YOUR
behalf" Then Tribal gave it up,
and he is saving money to buy u
new bicycle. - Paris Cor. London
Telegraph.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

The way TO command a good price
is to never cheaper ones stock in
trade. At least that is the princi-
pie adopted by an Ohio justice Of
the peace. This gentleman, says
writer in the Philadelphia Ledger,
has missed his calling. Given his
opportunity. he would soon make .
name among the humorists.
An attorney in neighboring city
wrote him TO inquire about a judg-
ment that had been entered against
q client. lie inelosed a stamp for
reply. Several days later he re-
ceived . postal card bearing this
message:
"Your inquiry received. l beg
to inform you that my time Is
mighty valuable just now. Corn
cutting is most nigh here. politics
10 sizzling and the bass fishing is
fine. IL YOU would inclose q dollar
bill it might stimulate me some. i
paid es cnct 20 . lawyer for an
sxering . question, and all he said
vas Mo-
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

a Young merchant recently pre-
sented to his better half an elaborate
piano lamp. He was much fattered
when she told him she intended to
give il his name until he asked her
reason for so peculiar q proceeding.
SWELL" said she, 'you know. dear,
il has q good deal Of brass about it.
II is handsome to look at. requires
Q good deal of attention. is remark
ably brilliant. Is sometimes un-
stesdy on its legs. liable to explode
Vhen only half full. flares up occa-
sicnally. il is always out at bedtime
and is bound to smoke
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

~PIease be very careful" said the
nervous lady at the hairdresseris
to the attendant. who vas tsirlIn9
. smoking hot curling iron in hse
fingers preparatory to piunging Il
into the victim's hanging locks. z
hate to have INV hair scorched
-Oh, ye., indeed. I'm ALWAYS csfU-
fal, ehirped the highly Perfunsd
and pompsdouresi girl Who vas pro
siding over the fsaq- ~Theres
nothing worse to me tkan The srnd1
Of burning hair.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07
Paired.

Said Mr.. c.: I'm those days | Was
. Republican, and my friend X,
who was the mo.t penurious man in
New England, was q Democrat. One
day he said to me, &C., have your
committee been after you,'
Not yet,' ! replied.
"'Well, mine have been after me,
and they wanted me TO subscribe
$500, and told them 1 would, said
he.
Il looked at him in amazement.
Then he added: Yes. I told them
the Republicans would expect $500
from you, and l was going to Pai:
off. So. mind YOU. stick to that ar
rxngement. 1t will be oil the same
to both parties, and it won't cost
either of us . cent '"-Lippineott's.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07
The est

A very Young essayist wrote in an
examination: "TLe cat is a square
quadruped and has four legs at the
corners. IL you want to please the
animal YOU must stroke IT on the
back. II it is very much pleased it
sets up its tail stiH, like a ruler. 80
that your hand cannot get any far
ther. The cat is said to have nine
lives. but in this country it seldom
needs them all because Of the pre-
ence of Chri.tianitv.-
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

The girls of ancient Egypt were
noted for their 1.-THE figures and new
er allowed themselves to grow stout.
Even the middle aged women were
ss beautiful Of figure as girls in
their teens. In the belief that obesi-
" produced old age and that slen-
der woman need never look nor
grow old, that fat produced rheu-
matism, he.vine-e, stiffness and dif-
fsculty in moving about, undue
sIeepine-s and difficulty in breath
ing. they instructed their daughters
that no greater misfortune could
falI upon them than that Of over
Oei3ht.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

The cranberry season Is eagerly
awaited BY the poorer classes Of
Cape Cod. whole fsnilie. journey
ing to the bog with provisions and
cooking utee-ils for IN extended pie-
mic. The work is easily learned.
and a child Of FIVE can essily psck
fexr measures . Say, which nesns
the earning Of 20 eeAts- An oAals
pcker can gstAes frso dry -
forty nessurO aey. vAiEA = -
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

II vas Tuesday morning, the
clothes had been washed, dried and
folded the dAy previously, and COM
mon sense pointed to the fact that
it was ironing day, but cautious
Scandinavian Tillie, the new maid.
vas not going to make the mistake
Of gsine ahesd before being sure
that she Gas right
Before conmitting herself to the
sbvisus task she poked her hesd
ists Tie diaing rsom to say appeal
ADJ:
@Neesa, skald like to ePssk
ss0eekine
swkat = il, Tile
~Skal I essk ssoe Aatirsa,- -
- TIlIie sss.stly.-YsutAs Co.
-
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

smith, wss sufully di.appoiss-
q ct the vay they received nv snee-
6ste last night. They didn't laugh
q ell.
Brown-Oh. hut they did Ysa
GAsuA have keard them laugh aftsF
- lift tke rDoA
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

That vas a great sermon yoa
preached this morning" said the
old churchwarlen. '-snd il was well
timed too
~Yes,- rejcined the rar-on, With
Q deep sigh. Il noticed that
Noticed what.- ssked the pug
sled warden
That several Of the coagres.tisa
Isskel q theis vssehss fse4ssatIy,s
ansuefed the good nan, 9th -
chr dssP Geh-lss6ss AsssUA
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-03-07

Mr.. Younghusbsnd : Don't yos
think, nv dear. that you cook twice
- much as We need?
Mrs. Younehushapd fsrfEesslyD-
I did il on purpose. darliAe- l wsnt
- try scsne Of these ~Hints For
Hsseekeepes.-Hov to Nake Dsin-
ey Diehes Frcm VIA We Leh
0vss Y0ees14y."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-08-31
PRINCIPLE OF open SHOP
Postoffice Employees Can Join the
Union But Will Not Be Allowed
to Force Others In.

Washington, Aug. 30.-The principle
of the open shop will be applied TO
the postal service, according to a de-
cision reached at the department today
at a conference between Postmaster
Fred A. Busse of Chicago and Acting
Postmaster General Hitchcock and
Second Assistant Postmaster General
Shallenberger.
The visit of Postmaster Busse was
brought about by the recent announce
ment or the proposed formation of a
national labor union of postal clerks in
utilization with the American Federation
of Labor.
The determination today was that so
long as the postoffice employees conform
to the rules and regulations and do
not attempt to modest those who do not
enter the union there will be no objec-
ton to the employees affiliating with la
Dor organizations. 1t was expressly
stated, however, that the department
would afford the fullest protection to
those who, for reasons of their own.
do not see fit to join the union.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-08-31
HOME CLUB IS FRAUDULENT
Rakeoff in Connection With Scheme
to Raise Money to Buy Home
Where Roosevelt Was Born.

Oyster Bay, Aug. 30.-The Roosevelt
Home club of New York is to be inves-
tigated by the people of the postoffice
department at the express request of
President Roosevelt, with a view 20 is
suing a fraud order against it.
Postmaster General Cortelyou was
given Instructions while at Sagamore
Hill today to take the matter UP imme-
diately. The object of the club as set
forth in a circular issued Aug Il by
Roderick Bell, who signs himself as
president of the club. is to secure funds
for the purchase of the house at % East
Twentieth street, New York City, where
President Roosevelt was born.
Some time, ago a similar movement
was started, but it was discovered oy
the president who was given assur-
ances that the matter would be
dropped.
The last circular indicates that an
other effort is being made to carry out
the plan. 1t was ascertained that 90
per cent of the contributions received
were to go toward maintaining the club.
1t is on this ground that the president
believes that a court order will lie.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-08-31
MUST ANSWER
No Escape From the Suit Brought
by State of New York for
Proper Accounting.

New York, Aug. 3O.-The Equitable
Life Assurance Society and its direc-
tors. according to a decision by Justice
Bischoff in the supreme court today.
must defend the suit brought against
them by State Attorney General Mayer
to compel an accounting as to the man
agement and disposition of the funds
and property Of the society The suit
also demands that the directors be
compelled to repay any of the sociaty's
money which may have been lost or
wasted by a violation of the duties of
the directors.
The court upholds a demurrer inter-
posed by the attorney for the defend
ants that there was improper join Ter
Of cause of action, but rules that the
directors must answer the complaint of
the attorney general except insofar as
1t may be affected by the sustaining
of the demurrer as to improper joinder
Twenty days is allowed the defendant
in which to make answer.
In addition to demanding an account
ing of funds, the attorney general
suit also asks that any defendant now
a director or officer in the society shall
be removed upon proof of misconduct
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-08-31
PUMPKIN PIE FOR GUESTS
People of Loveland, Colo, Provide a
Feast for League of Press
Clubs Visitors.

Denver Aug. SO.-Many delegates to the
convention of the International League
of Press clubs today visited the irrigated
agricultural districts of northern Colo
RADIO and enjoyed the scenery of the trip
around the horn on the Colorado &
Southern railroad.
The visitors were treated TO a pumpkin
pie festival at LOveland and inspected the
state agricultural college at Fort Collins
where luncheon was served.
A short business session was held at
Fort Collins. A resolution, introduced by
Mrs. Lydia Adams Williams of the for
estry reserve, sending greetings from the
international League of Press clubs to
the national irrigation congress at Boise
Ida, expressing a deep appreciation of
the Importance of the work of the con
gress and pledging the influence of the
newspaper writer's TO assist the forester
in the United States in the policy of pre-
serving the forests of the country was
adopted.
Mrs. Williams was appointed delegate
to the irrigation congress a Boise from
the international League of Press clubs.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-08-31
OMNIBUS SITUATION FOR
THE CUBAN GOVERNMENT
New Bands of Insurgents Being Organ
lied in Province Of Pinar Del
Rio and Elsewhere.
United States Demands Adequate Protection for Property of
American Citizens Situated in Cuba

Havana, Aug. 30.-No news of the
operations of Colonel Avalos, COM
mander of the government forces in
Pinar del Rio, has been received here
since he left San Juan de Martinez yes
terday i'm search of the main insurgent
body, commanded by Pine Guerrero
While government circles continue
hopeful of his success, new bands of
insurgents are reported to have been
organized various places in Pinar
del Rio and elsewhere, which gives the
situation a gravity which there is no
attempt to disguise.
Vice President Mendez Capote Wis
tied President Palma today and re-
lterated his denial that he had con-
suited with Senator Zayas. president Of
the Liberal party, on the question
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-08-31
THOUSANDS IN HOSPITALS
Facilities Taxed to the Utmost in
Caring for Those Injured During
Valparaiso EARTHQUAKE.

Santiago. Chile, Aug. 29.-The ambulance
stations and hospitals at Valparaiso are
now caring for $500 persons, who sus-
tanned injuries in the recent earthuake
or the fires which followed.
Nine. Vor der Lund, wife of Colonel
Won der Lund the German instructor of
the Chilean troops. died today as q re-
suit of the injuries which she received
during the earthquake.
Owing to the scarcity of food the mu-
nicipalty of Valparaiso has decided TO
send away from that city all the inhabjt-
ants who are incapable of working
Six hundred head of cattle are on their
way to Santiago to relieve the scarcity of
meat The banks have again resumed
their rates of interest on loans.