Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1906-03-15
The Philosophers Of CraySviHe

4
leaving for the city and the departure
of his son, Mr.. Alvin Temby and fami
ly The wives and families were pres
ent in large numbers and thoroughly
enjoyed the occasion and the luxurious
! feasts of natures best, as provided by
| this illustrious convention of great men
The Hon. Mr.. Temby, though not {
| philosopher in the strict sense of the
term, is traveller, u statesman and Z
statistician of note. He has met with
this dignified society for some time anc
has been of great service in explaining
some very obtuse questions relating to
the moral and political life of the west.
The society very much deplo, his adj
vanced age, which compels his retire
ment and removal from community
where he has been respected and loved
for long period of years, for his true
industry, manly character and sterling
fraternal affection.
As soon as the assembled multitude
arrived. he and his excellent wife sur
rendered control of the entire house.
Col. Person and Prof. John Bennett
assumed their professional position and
produced one of the finest feasts the
society has ever enjoyed. Hon. Major
VIM. Hewitt, though an expert in the
management of such occasions, had
some difficulty in controlling the six
bachelors present. Prof. John r. Wal
lis would be with the ladies, and no
matter how eloquently urged by Super
intendent Hewitt, Wallis would not
wait on the first table because they
were all old people. His only excuse
was that he was not presentable, +"
when the real facts were he was attired
in classic style and the latest fashion.
Then at the second table, Wallis would
be, and could not be kept from, acting
as a waiter. Profs. VIM. Bennett, John
Holman, Luke Gundry and Fred Dunn
raised objections to his presence and
assistance when there were only young
ladies at the table. Supt. Hewitt was
equal to the occasion, however, and
very soon had the whole machinery in
perfect order and running like a charm.
1t was very fortunate that DR.. Thos.
Gundry was present and prepared to
attend to professional calls on the mo-
ment, for Prof. John Holman fell into a
dead faint just because a young lady
smiled on him. The Doctor applied one
dose of coldwateroiline and Holman was
up and around in a few minutes. The
Philosophers were amazed at the power
and skill of DR.. Gundry and desired him
to diagnose the case. The Doctor said
It was a heart affliction and very dan
gerous kind, and that if it was not cur
ed forthwith it would result in matri-
mony. Prof. Fred Dunn asked the
doctor if it was contagious. When an
swered in the affirmative, Profs. Dunn,
Gundry, Wallis and Bennett hung
around Prof. Holman all the evening.
The Philosophers were much d.sap-
pointed that Prof. H. Hewitt was un-
able to enliven the occasion with music.
DR.. Gundry presented the program and
in a few well chosen words stated the
objects of the Society. That it had, in
most philosophic manner, analogized
some of the most important and per-
picking questions before the state and
the world, and settled them to the per-
feet satisfaction of all concerned. That
the great Mormon and Senator Smoot
Case was settled; that Senator Smoot
would be unseated and expelled from
the U. s. Senate as a result of Prof.
John Benefits great speech and the
protests of the women Of America.
That the Philosophers had turned
their attention toward needs of peace
between Russia and Japan, in order to
be able to give proper instructions to
Plancon, Karostoratz, White, Nabokoff
and Rosen Of Russia; and to Adaici,
Alchiai, Komura, Takahira and Sato of
Japan; all great men representing the
diplomotic brains of the two nations.
"But, but" said DR.. Gundry, after
clearing his throat and coughing up
blood, caused by straining his articula-
tive organs in pronouncing the commit
tees names, and recovering somewhat
from the severe shock of his lexico-
graphical effort. Just then he beheld
one of the young Philosophers smile.
This was toe much for the Doctor, who
said, You may laugh, but, By George!
thought my tongue had gone down
my throat and | was not going to get it
back again. Then, putting his hands
up to his face, the Doctor said, Gen
tlemen, if this society viii forgive me,
| win never use such big words again,
for believe my jaws are out of joint. "
By twitching his mouth and comforting
his face he managed TO feebly say,
Professor John r. Wallis VIII enter
tain the audience with his reasons for
being a bachelor "
Prof Wallis, who is always equal To
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