Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-06
TIE VILLAGE CUT-UPS

Some of these sure-enough cut-ups are
more dangerous to human peace than pun
adders. Anyhow. that's what one very
well-known young married man Is going
around this town and saying several times
day. His crouch seems justiaable. Hero
is the story:
About two weeks ago a plenty-gay party
of four persons. equally divided as to sex.
were dining in a ratheskellar In this town.
The humidity of the atmosphere was not
a marker to the moist time they were hav-
ing along with their dinner. Everything
moist from the top-rim Of the wet menu
down to the cordial list was sampled
couple Of times over, and at the chartreuse
stage Of 1t, when everybody was telling
his and her real name and all talking at
once, the cup-uppishness of the bunch as
serted itself.
They began to talk pleasantly of old pals.
They all mutually knew lot of the same
folks. The young women spoke somewhat
regretfully of number of their former
male friends who had gone of to be mar
ried during recent years.
The mention by one Of the girls of the
name of one of these married ones was
what got the village tease thing started.
"Jim's married to a horribly jealous
GIRL" said one Of the men. Know what
an Independent cuss he used to be? All
over now. No longer it. Just excess bag
gage. that's ALL
The mention of the jealousy Of Jims wife
got the four hoydenish things to looking
mischievously at each other:
II just believe I'll do it!' declared one OF
the girls. Deed think I shall! Such
larks!"
Then she unfolded her little scheme and
they all thought it would be grand-and 1t
went through
The girl who thought It would be such
larks stepped over to the telephone in the
rathskellar and called up the house ADDRESS
Of "Jim." the man with the jealous wife.
A woman's voice answered the Gallup.
rs Jim there?" the girl cut-up in the
rathskellar asked in a sweet teasy tone.
"Jim?' said the feminine voice at the
other end, rather sharply. Are you re-
ferring to Mr.. Blank?'
replied the girl at the rathskellar phone.
Hes just Jim to me. What I want to
know Is, is Jim there now?"
Jim. as you call him. replied the harsh
ened female voice at the other end of the
line. 'is not here now. He Is at his ONCE.
or at least he sent me word that he would
remain at his office this evening. Who are
you. may l inquirer"
phone, winking merrily at the other cut
ups seated around the table. "Oh. I am
a friend of Jims. I'm ringing him up be-
cause I can't understand what the trouble
is, you know. He promisd to take me out
to dinner this evening and he hasn't made
his appearance.
'Oh. he did that. did he?" said the
hoarse voice at the other end. Are you
aware of the fact that Mr.. Blank Is
married MANI"
"'Deed I'm not"' said the girl at the
rathskellar phone. He never told me
that. Is hep
He certainly is and I am his wife and
his three children are sleeping peacefully
in their beds at this moment" said the
gaspy voice at the other end. "And as for
you, you-
poIo
the receiver up right there. She knew what
was coming and she didn't want It. Any
how, the cut-uppishness had been perform
ed and that was enough.
Now. it actually happened that evening
that the Jim of this strictly on-the-level
story could not get home. There was some
kind of kink in his books and he simply
had to stay at his office to straighten the
knk out. He sailed out and got a quick
dairy lunch after sending word to his wife
that he'd remain down town for some
time that evening and he worked like
burrowing hyena smack up to z o'clock In
the morning, when he went nome, dog
tired and all in.
His wife was waiting UP for him. She
was reading an upside-down book when he
got in. and her ountenance twitched con-
vulsively when she saw him.
She told him of the conversation she had
had over the phone with the young
woman with whom he had made the din
ner appointment. .-t..l.
suppose, Sne aQQeQ, uTylv, dIteE
telling MIN the story. that you kept the
appointment after she telephoned up here"
He tried to explain his delay at the of
flee and vowed, vummed averred and
swore his utter and absolute innocence in
the whole business. Not chance in the
world for him to get away with 1t. She
wouldn't believe word he said. She
doesn't believe him yet. She doesn't even
speak to him. Hasn't spoken to him since
that night. There isn't chance on earth
for him to square himself and he Is going
around town biting his nails and gnawing
on his lips and looking wolf1sh and wicked.
The worst of it is that. while he knows
that the thing was a put-up job on the
part Of some cut-ups and suspects several
of his friends, he can't open up and ac-
cuse any of them outright and then swing
on them on mere suspicion. And so, there
fore, James is up against it through the
fault Of his own and solely owing to the
peculiar ideas of funniness possessed by a
quartet Of the village pests of this town.
Some of these days there'll be organized
a Chapter for the Condign and Caloric Cas-
tigation Of Cut-ups. and when that happens
little old Washington will be all to the
Greater.