davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1906-11-11
Learn Her and She's the
Sweetest That Ever
Happened.

Man has inveUted, as an excuse and
consolation for his many domestic blum
ders. the fiction that woman is an in
soluble enigma-a prize conundrum 10
which nobody has ever been able 10 find
a definite answer-and that he Is. there
fore, entitled 10 give up.
This IS an ingenious theory, and 1t
saves the lace OF the sex that prides it.
self on its dlscernment and intelligence,
but It is not true.
So far from IL being impossible 10 un-
derstand a womans nature, and the
springs from which her actions fiOw,
she is almost childishly easy 10 cCmpre-
hend, and never was cause and effect
more intimately blended than In her
every deed.
II a man does not understand his
wife, and II he cannot tell with almost
exactness precisely what she viii DO
under certain circumstances, H. is be
cause he has never taken the trouble
10 study her.
Women know men far better than
men know women. This is because for
/ ages a woman's comfort and well being
1 has depended upon her ability 10 man
age some man without his knowing L.
This has developed an almost abnormal
/ capacity in the sex to size up the par
! ticular man with which each woman
/ has TO deal. and 10 play upon his weak
/ resses. his strength. and peculiarities
and TO read al sight his moods and
/ lenses.
Studied Only in the Abstract.
1 Men have never thought women worth
/ studying except In the abstract, and
/ then they have only given few Dig
/ crude ruesses at the subject. and le
/ Il go at that. The result is that th'
/ individual men finds himself incapable
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
"HE RAN FOR LAWYER"
But There Was Doubt as to Whether
He Had Ever Caught
the Office.

A man from Pennsylvania went to
Vineland on a business errand. The
town was strange to him, and he was
unacquainted with the man "a lawyer
he had gone to see. The directions he
received were SO indefinite that he
found himself on the elge OF the town
without having come to the house he
sought. Then he met an old negro
and asked the way Of him and learned
THAT the house lay about a quarter of
a mile farther down the road.
"The man I want to see is q law
yer" he said to the old man. "Ls this
Mr.. Dash down the road lawyer?"
"He amt no lawyer that ever
heard tell Of" answered the negro.
you're sure?"
The old negro scratched his head in
deep thought Then a CLEAN of re-
membrance lighted his eye.
Nov I think of it, boss" he said,
"'pears like I do recoIlect he ran for
lawyer one time"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
CHlLD'S AWFUL SKIN 4UMOR.
Screamed with Pain-Suffering Near
~ Broke Parents Heart-Speed-
lily Cured by Cuticura.

81 wish to inform you that Cuticura
Remedies have put a stop to twelve
years of misery passed with my son. AS
an infant l noticed on his body @ red
spot, and treated same with different
remedies for about FIVE years, but when
the spot began to get larger [ put him
under the care of doctors. Under their
treatment the disease spread to four diff
ferent parts of his body. The longer the
doctors treated him the worse it grew.
During the day it would get rough and
form like scales. At night it would be
cracked, infamed, and badly swollen, with
terrible burning and itching. When I
think of his suffering, it nearly breaks
my heart. His screams could be heard
down stairs. The suffering of my son
made me full of misery. I had no ambi-
ton to work, to eat, nor could l sleep.
One doctor told me that my sons eczema
was incurable, and gave it up for a bad
job. One evening l saw an article in
the paper about the wonderful Cuticura
and decided to give it a trial. tell you
that Cuticura Ointment is worth its
weight in gold, and when I had used the
first box of Ointment there was great
improvement, and by the time had used
the second set of Cuticura Soap, Ointment,
and Resolvent, my child was cured. He
is now twelve years old, and his skin
is as fine and smooth as silk Michael
Steinman, Sumner Avenue, Brooklyn,
N. Y, April Is. 1867
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21

found at the home of moonshiner not
far from the little town, brought back
and tried, and the judge decided to
make an example of the bold young
creature by sending her to Jail at Co
lumbus for four months.
Astonished the Mconshiners.
The moonshiners were simply par
alyzed by the sentence, for some of
them thought that Betsy bore a
charmed life, SO to speak, and one of
them, in an outburst of admiration,
had said on the third day that she
would come clar," and that "no jedge
an no jury can tech her, in my min"
But Betsy had not quite reached the
limit of her resources. The Jail at
Columbus is an old-fashioned barn of
structure, three stories high and of
brick, and is generally SHINY tenant
ed. It happened that when Betsy
first entered it's walls man was there
on his way to the penitentiary to serve
IL months for the practice of the gen.
tie art of manslaughter, he having in
some kind OF mix-up slain a fellow
mountaineer with a knife, and "gittin'
off light" as the other side of the
case put it. Betsy was put on the
second floor of the Jail, this prisoner
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
Tbe Darattoll 5pstent
and Business
By CHARLES F. PIDGIN.

trated comparatively slight The great of working
people do large enjoy vacations except such
they take with loss of pay.
In degree however, this question kindred to the
whether shorter conditions labor have had
good bad effect The this question:
easy because the figures the increased
productivity of the American workngman the favorable
vironment.
Still the direct question of how business has affected by the
system admits direct 1t may
said decsvey that has been
If has been tried extensive scale speaking
paave it yet has been tried sufficiently extensive scale to
undoubtedly have followed the introduction the vacation
system.
In the first place. the person who looks forward
has constantly in mind goal the end of which certain prize
Other things being equal the position vacation
him distinct attraction He retain position during
months preceding the vacation he looks forward
prospect with pleaurabe anticipation JOY that
1ghtens toll.
employer himself think ready testify
off, well the employee for the and that the
obtains vacation tired empoye ineffective
lazy and the wise employer appreciates this fact
Again. there advantage present vacation
SYSTEM tends many people Of
city every for period of weeks who distribute
their expenditures travel and country places which developed
many by the money that visitors bring
The builder great extent,
prosperous communities would
remained undeveloped
Travel good thing for the traveller for the railroad and for
everybody whom the traveller
e.: r:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21

stairway ami set fire to the trap-door.
burning a hole therein, through which
Chalmers descended. He and BETSY.
after passing the compliments of the
day. for they were acquainted, decided
on the mode of action, and then Chal-
mers fell to work to make a hole
through the side of the Jail, while
Betsy made rope out of blankets and
bedding, and arranged such goods and
chattels as she had with her in shape
for quick removal. Chalmers, with
true ga,Iantry, decided that it was best
for him to go through the hole first.
thus testing the latter, and, incident
ally. the rope below. Out he got and
fitted away.
Nearly vanquishes Jailer.
Betsy was going, too, but as she
was halfway through the hole she
felt the rude hands of the jailer upon
her, and was hauled back into the
room. This aroused her fighting instinct
to the limit, and like a lioness she
sprang upon the jailer, who had a bad
quarter of an hour, for not only was
Betsy good wrestler, but star hair
puller and scratcher. Not satisfied
with these accomplishments, she
whipped out knife and cut the jailer
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
GOTHAM GRIST.

In New York city there is one police
man to each 459 persons.
New York's cemeteries, with their
1856 acres Of land, are sufficient for
the burial of the city's dead, at the
present death rate, for $50 years.
Since Peter Minuit, in 1926, bought
Manhattan island from the Indians
for $24 in merchandise, there has been
a daily average of SO persons arriv-
ing in the territory now known as New
York city.
If the sewers of New York city were
placed end to end in straight line
they would reach from here to Pixies
Peak, LILO miles, and the paved
streets Of the city would make road
along one side of them all the way.
If the wind that blew over New
York city in one week recently should
continue it's way, at it's average We
locity, it would make the circuit of
the earth and be back there the last
week in August, for 1t moved at the
rate Of nine miles an hour.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
oRAcULAR OBSERVATIONS.

Many a good resolution quickly runs
down at the heel.
A pretty girl can teach a man most
anything but good common sense.
1t pays to look a mule in the face
when you have anything to say to
him.
About half of the things bought on
credits would not be bought If cash
were demanded.
Have you noticed that the bottom
Of cup of JOY that runs over is sell
dom far from the top?
It's q good deal better to think
poetry than to write it, and better to
write Il than to print 1t.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21

Much as has been written of the
ways and doings of the mountaineers
of North Carolina, any person at all
familiar with the lives of the inhabit-
ants oil that romantic region cannot
but fee that the half has not been
told.
Loyal to a degree that holds life
worth nothing if friend can be
served, an enemy punished or a traitor
put to death, the mountaineer is typi-
cal of a state of existence the world
has long outgrown.
The average man of more sedate
temperament and cooler blood leaves
the ayenging of his wrongs to courts
of law and the judgment of his fell
lows, but in the mountains each man
is court of law unto himself, and is
not satisfied with the slow methods of
justice with which other communi-
ties are conversant.
1t has been found matter of mon
umental difficulty to impress upon
these people that there is wrong in the
making Of 'moonshine" whisky. To
them the product OF the corn they
grow is theirs, whether it is converted
into the staff of life or the delectable
liquid of the worm and still. The eff
forts Of the "Revnooers" to put stop
to the distilling of the juice of the
corn necessarily, therefore, are not
looked upon with favor, and conflicts
with the officers of the law are fire.
quent. Just now the federal officials
have a complication to deal with
which is more than usually knotty.
"Queen" New in Jail.
''The best looking gal in the noun
tains!" Betsy Sims, Queen of the
Moonshfners, is languishing in the big
and lonesome Jail at Columbus, the
high-up little mountain town which
is the county seat of Polk, one of the
smallest and most isolated of the
North Carolina counties. What to do
with her is the problem puzzling the
authorities.
Betsy, though only %, is as daring
and well versed woman, both in the
ways of making whisky and of sell
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21

ing II, as one could find in that wild
country, even in a full days ride, and
she is as pretty as she is adroit and
daring, with a killing pair of eyes,
bright and well-filled cheeks and hair
which defies conventionalities, Betsy
has cut no little figure in Polk county
since she was 16, for even at that early
age she began her work as seller of
contraband whisky. She made herself
such a figure, in fact, that even the
older moonshiners began to look up
to her and in their rude way to idolize
the plucky girl, who had been bred
all her life to think the selling of
whisky was an act of the very best
sort, and that the ''revnooers' were a
race of people who deserved only
death and who were sent out as OPP
pressors of the people. Such is the
faith which is literally the backbone
OF Betsy's point of view, and that of
her moonshiner companions, who
make corn whisky in the shaded and
well-hidden bollows ia the mountains,
through which run streams whose wa
tiers are always just cool enough to
give the distillery worms the right
touch
Capture of Betsy.
Betsy has year by year become
more and more daring, and more
beautiful. A few months ago she be-
came extremely bold in her sales of
whisky, going to and from the stills,
sometimes alone, and sometimes with
male companions. Finally the state
authorities decided it was time to
stop her, so they sent three deputy
sheriffs for Betsy. The deputies had
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21

five times. He was compelled to
knock her down and then to tie her
hands and feet.
The matter was at once reported to
the judge, who ordered that she be
placed in the strongest cell and close
ly watched, and at the next term Of
court she will be indicted for an as
sault with intent to kill, not to speak
of another indictment for attempt to
escape. Some of her moonshiner
friends have in a quiet way made
threats that she will not stay in jail
long, but the county authorities say
they can hold her.
Betsy's exploit in the jail has given
her an added Importance and value
among her associates.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21

but the very next day her moonshine
friends showed up with $3.50, they
having sold a horse for that sum.
There was a "big meetin'" not far
away, and it was thought it would
be good time to buy an extra lot of
whisky, and so it came about that
then and during the remainder of the
month of April Betsy sold nine bar
rels of the stuff, some of it in Polk
county, some in Rutherford, and some
over the line in South Carolina. But,
although she kept in touch with her
business all the while, she showed up
at the term of Polk county superior
court the second week in May, es-
corted always by a party of her moon
sinner friends. She wore different
dress and different hat on each of
three days, this being the most i'm
portant event in her existence to date.
Got Cases Continued.
There were three indictments
against her, but she contrived, on one
plea or another, and by means of ire
mendous lot of swearing by moon
sinner friends, to get the case contin-
ued, always putting up cash bond for
appearance. She thus invested $780,
Then the attention of the judge was
directed more particularly toward her,
and he found the extent of her work
and the damage she was doing in parts
of two states, in her open violations
of the law. She must have felt in
the very air that something was wrong.
for when the judge took his seat on
the morning of the fourth day Betsy
failed to show up. The judge issued a
bench warrant for her, and she was
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21

whose name is Chalmers, being on the
floor above. A rather rude flight of
steps leads from the second to the
third floors, through a well-locked
trap-door of wood.
How She Broke Jail.
The weather was cool, and there was
a fire in Betsy's room. She did not
feel equal to the task of getting out
of jail unaided, so she sought the COM
partnership of Chalmers. They talked
to each other, commonplace while the
jailer was anywhere within hearing,
but business when he was out of the
way, the business being the best means
of getting out. Betsy was the more
resourceful of the two, and so, taking
a "chunk of fire." she went up the
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
Marconi Anticfnated.

An Psychologist and an Assyriologisi
were dlsputing about the relative adj
vancement of the two ancient peoples
whom they were studying.
why, SIR" cried the Psychologist,
1--WE find remains of wires in Egypt,
which prove they understood electric
ity!"
"Pshaw!" answered the Assyriolo-
gist, I'VE don't find any wires in Assy-
ria, and that shows that they under
stood wireless biography - Stray
Stories.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21

the good fortune to find her. on foot,
and very near the South Carolina line,
which she knows perfectly WELL
When she saw the three deputies
coming, she knew they were not her
friends, and made bold dash for the
line. AS Splinter she is a success,
and her running was like that of the
Grecian girls who competed in the
ancient Olympian games. The depu-
ties did not stop to admire, however,
but gave chase and dashed across the
state line, coming up with and taking
hold of the stout and charming Betsy
about hundred yards over in South
Carolina.
Betsy was nearly out of breath
from the run. but had voice enough
left to give O signal, which brought
out of the thick bushes near by five
tough-looking moonshiners, any one
Of whom was ready and willing to
die for Betsy any time. Betsy had a
good-sized revolver slung about her
waist, and very poorly concealed by
checked apron, but her moonshine
friends made no concealment what
ever of the pistols which they had
in hand, and while they fingered
these, they parleyed with the detain-
ing deputies, letting them understand
that they were willing to pay cash
for Betsy's appearance in cot" and
that they were "willin' to put up $25
in greenbacks if Betsy could be sot
free now and pear at C'lumbus next
term"
Deputies Made Terms.
The deputies thought it wise to
temporize, and decided to take the
cash, which the moonshiners calamity
put up, and Betsy retired with them,
looking back archly at the officers,
her charming eyes sparkling with de-
fiance and the roses in her cheeks
deepening until they were like Pc
onies. Her face was framed in pink
sunbonnet of the type which is worn
on week days by all the mountain
girls.
Betsy did not let her daring and
her adventures end with her capture,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
Physical Imnossihilitv.

The House Cat-You're getting fat
End apoplectic. can see your finish.
The Pug Dog (making an effort to
turn his head, but giving up)-That's
more than 1 can do. anyhow Chicago
Tribune
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21

languid. nervous and lame in the
morning. Doan's Kidney Pills helped
me right away, and the great relief
that followed has been permanent"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
To Launder China Silk Waists.

China silk waists launder nicely. Re-
move any spots with benzine. Then wash
in warm soap suds, rubbing between the
hands; rinse through several waters. Use
Ivory Soap and do not rub the soap on
the bes M and gssn dry as 6
OF the wrong side.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21

The term "busi-
ness" must be used to
include all financial,
commercial and indus
trial enterprise, and
when so used it covers
a very large field. Into
this field the system Of
summer vacation may
be said to have pene-
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
Innnvation in Oregon.

Some palefaces recently from the
ear6 have been putting up fly screen
doors to their houses. The next thing
we know we will be having flies on the
hay.-Narth Bend Harbor.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21

Thousands tell of
cures made by
Doan's Kidney Pills.
John G. Coleman, a
prominent merchant
of Swainsboro, Ca,
says: "For several
years my kidneys
were affected, and
my back ached day
and NIGHT T xuo q
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
Bad Efect of Athletics.

"This man." explained the hospital
doctor, sis the victim of athletics"
"Ah, overturned, l suppose"
''No, he never trained bit. The
fellow who hit him had, though. -
Philadelphia Ledger.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
Music for Neigh bors.

Music for Neighbors.
''I've got to practice on the piano five
hours day." said the disconsolate
small girl.
What for?"
"'Cause mother and father don't like
our new neighbors." - Washington
Star.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
DOES YOUR BACK ACHE?

Cure the Kidneys and the Pain Will
Never Return.
Only one way to cure an aching
back. Cure the cause. the kidneys.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
suggesting Sale Course.

McFibb-That fellow Huskie called
me liar!
Newitt-Yes?
eyes. What would you do about
it?"
"Well, if I were you, I'd make it a
point always to tell the truth when
he's around.-Catholic Standard.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1906-06-21
WHAT TO DO WITH THE
QUEEN OF MOONSHINERS
PUZZLES u. S. OFFICIALS
Authorities Feel They Must Have Recourse Strenuous
Action to Restrain Betsy Simms.
YOUNG, FEARLESS, AND IDOL OF OUTLAWS

In Prison for Dealing Whisky That Had Paid No Revenue She
Severely Cuts Jailer in Attempt to Escape-Three
Indictments Now Against Her.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1906-07-30
A Scotch Test,

Auchtermuchty is the happy town
which every Scot, proud of his unpro-
nounceable tongue, uses as a shibbo-
leth to test the linguistic skill of the
southron. If you cannot say "Auchter-
muchty" you are still an uneducated
barbarian. The meaning of the word
happens to be as monstrous as its
sound. "The high ground of the wild
sow is not name one would choose
for garden city. People, however, are
found to flock to it as a summer re-
sort, and as it has lovers pool, the
town has probably attractions more
real than its name. In the early part
OF last century Auchtermuchty went
bankrupt and was deprived Of all it's
property except the Jail and one or two
other assets of an equally necessary
character. 1t is now rich, peaceful and
radical.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1906-07-30
Trust Estate ofHorace L. Raw.
son of Craftsbury,

STATE OF VERMONT In Probate Court,
District of Orleans, SIS. held at Newport, in
1906
E. L. Hastings, Trustee of the trust estate of
Horace L. Rawson, late of Craftsbury in said
unit for examination and allowance of the
estate of said deceased. whereupon it is
ordered by said Court, that said account
and said application be referred to a session
thereof to be held at B. z D. Carpenters
Office in Barton, in said District on the
18th day of Augusta D., 1906. at nine O'Clock in
the forenoon for hearing and decision thereon
And, it is further ordered that notice hereof
be given to all persons interested, by publica-
ton of the same three weeks successfully in
the ORLEANS COUNTY MONITOR, a newspaper
pu olished at said Barton, previous to said
time appointed for hearing that they may
appear at said time and place, and show
cause, if any they may have, why said account
should not be allo we'd,
By the Court. Attest.
1888 F.E. ALFRED, Judge.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1906-07-30
On Tipping the Hat.

New Workers still cling to the an
cient custom Of tipping their hats when
greeting mai8efriend or acquaintance.
1t is a comman. Sight to see a staid.
prosperous looking business man as he
passes an acquaintance tipping his hat,
although the other is alone and unac-
companied by woman. 1t is the
same after a party has been together
somewhere, at dinner, probably, or at
the theater. You will notice that as
one separates himself from the others
he will say good night or au revoir and
then tip his hat. Also when one man
is introduced to another it is dollars
to subway ticket that he will lift his
ehapeau. Wonder why it is. They
don't do it in Pittsburg.-Pittsburg
Dispatch.