The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-15
| |l5E l55HE,Zl5I8I0IQ[NIG QljN[lA|lkLg[|IXl|Z|SLI|

| orable Mt Secretary was doinsT In
| qulred the red-headed man anxlously.
II sure did" said the Alderman. He
was manIcurin his corns with razor.
II was SO overcome by the honor that
l gave II cry OF amaSement, Whlch CYL
| IDENTIFY Jared the nerves OF my dlstln-
| euished guest for he let the razor slip
| and cut his toe. and with yell that
must have been heard by the engineer
| he jumped up and came down again on
my lower ribs with crash that woke
me up for certain. The porter had his
head thrust through the curtains.
"'Did you call. suh?' he inquired
| with sollcltude.
Yes l said. Bring me croWoar
and small bottle"
He went away muttering something
about crazy man. but l lald awake
the rest OF the night with that weight
on my stomach
THAT was n terrible dream" admit
ted tho insurance agent. but l was
troubled q little that way myself last
night and since confessions are In or
der don't mind telling you about It"
Fire away" said the red-headed
man. I'VE can insure absolutlon In
this case"
well" continued the man from To-
pShD, L uIGGiiIltu luil WIS IelPlOleu eu
by a band of Indians"
Must have been in st. Louis" inter-
rupted the unknown.
mo. it was somewhere out here In
the far West. l didn't learn the loca-
tion, and inasmuch as 1 don't expect to
return, It doesn't matter. The Indians
carried me. strapped to q pony, a long
distance and brought me up before their
chief for trial. After q whole lot Of
talking and a number OF private con-
fabs between the chief and the medi-
cine man, the cheerful information was
conveyed to me that 1 had been sem
fenced to death and that the execu-
ton would take place forthwith and
Immediately, and perhaps sooner, 1
tried to make them understand that
had an important engagement in Seat
tie. but 1t didn't work The chief called
out a couple of husky bucks. and they
proceeded TO take off all my clothes.
They wasn't very gentle about 1t,
either. The only article of apparel they
left me was my hat, / looked around
for stake and a pile OF fire wood. be-
Heving that was to die In the regu-
laton 1njun way, like they do In the
dime novels. But this method was too
common for my captors. They were
up to date and wanted novelty. In
stead of fagots they brought up O. keg
Of railroad spikes and a pair of healthy
sledge hammers. Then they laid
me gently down on the sod, fastened
me securely with rawhide thongs and
at word of command one of the two
bucks picked UP a spike and with the
help OF his companion striking alter.
nate blows, they drove It through my
stomach"
Gee" exclaimed the red-headed
man. did they tickle you?"
They worked just like section
n mr. dc ~
ignoring the interruption. Every time
one would strike lick he'd grunt, and
I'd hol]er 'Ouchl' They worked slowly
and mechanically, as becomes men
who have serious task in hand. When
one spike was finished the tribal choir
sang lugubrious refrain that sounded
something like 'Bedela.' and added a
great deal to my anguish Then an
other pair OF vigorous Indians was
brought up and given a spike. which
they put where they thought it would
do tho most good, and this innocent
amusement was kept up until they had
me pinned down with twelve spikes.
AT this point an alteration arose
between the chief and the medicine
man that no doubt saved my life
There was Just one more spike In the
keg. and tho chief didn't want TO waste
II, but the medicine man protested that
thirteen was mighty unlucky num-
Der, and there was no telling what
might happen II they continued the
exercises along that particular line.
The chief said he was having a bully
time, and he wasn't superstltious, any
now. SO they argued the point pro and
con. much to my edi6cation, until
finally the medicine man suggested that
they leave the matter to chance, and
proposed a game of pinochlc The chief
Grumbled at this, said there wasn't
much Ch3nce In n MI ha
tor but he at last consented, and they
knelt down on the grass one on each
side OF me, and with my chest for q
table commenced to play
You can imagine, gentlemen, that I
was greatly Interested in the game
agreed with the medicine man that
thirteen was an unlucky number. al
though In my waking moments l al
ways pooh-pooh the idea Besides 7
thought the thing had really gone far
enough, so whenever I got A chance to
help the doctor along, l give him the
wink He was quick to see the value
Of my suggestions, and, being a pretty
good amateur anyway, he soon had the
chief beat to a showdown.
His nobs was quite beside himself
with rage, Picking up a bone-handled
carving knife, he leaned over me ami
shouted, BY jinlfs. I'll have his scalp.
all right, all right Then he snatched
'il iiy lial dilu ulSCONcI6l l1aL i dldn [
have any hair at all worth mentioning.
I was so terrified by the expression of
frenzied disappointment on his face
that 1 awoke, and"
Say" interrupted the man on the
washstand, what In the dickens did
you fellers eat last night?"
80 far as I'm concerned" said TIN
red-headed man. II wasn't feeling very
well yesterday. SO 1 dropped into a
vegetarian restaurant Just before /
came aboard the train and got a light
dinner Of something or other. ! don't
know what 1t was, but they said It was
hygienic."
II reckon I got into the same Joint"
confessed the alderman,
And the same here" added the man
from Topeka, but 1 didn't know 1t was
loaded"
You feller5 do make ma tired e,ta