The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-08-04

say it is morning The children must
be washed. Very we'll BY turning
switch each and every one Of them is
dumped into a trough and washed and
are dumped out. Their clothes are
there ready to put on, and machinery
does It. Every garment is buttoned up
and hooked up. The children now
want breakfast. All they have to do
it to hold their mouths to certain
spouts. There is warm milk. cold
milk, porridge and so on and so forth.
If one of them wakes up with collie
there is the paregoric spout If one
is aching for spanking you turn
switch that cuts out the others. If
all are aching, let 'er go as she is. This
invention, madam, does everything but
take the children out to walk. It will
save its cost every three months.
Doesn't eat anything, never talks back
and never goes on a strike. Always
ticks the children on the right spot,
and there are no splinters to fly off
and put out the cats eve
1T must surely be a wonderful
thing" said the lady as the major
paused for breath.
at will be so pronounced, madam.
You called to get subscriptions II l
should give you a hundred dollars you
would think it liberal. I propose to
give you better than five thousand.
shall at once install one of my Con-
solers in your orphan asylum as
free gift"
You are indeed q liberal man. but
you are thinking It may not work,
madam. Have no fear of that. It has
been tested in three different asylums
and they are charmed with 1t. only
two persons needed to take care of two
hundred orphans. Runs night and day,
and a musical attachment goes with it
to lull the red-headed babies to sleep
on windy nights I will give the or
der at once, madame, and
What IS it?"
of the company that the asylums pay
the drayage. That viii be four dol
lars, but having been an orphan my
self, I will pay in half. Can you hand
me the balance, please
But I hardly see" said the lady, as
she opened her purse.
"Drayage. madame-drayage The
machinery must be got from our fac
tory to your asylum, you see. That's 1t
thanks. The CONSIDER shall be ready
at the earliest possible moment. Say
nothing to any one, please, but let 1t
come as a great and pleasant sur
prise to the orphans. Is there any
thing mOre2'
But I have paid you two dollars.
Exactly, madame=exactly. You
have paid one-half the. drayage, and
the fact shows what a philanthropic
heart you have got. have no doubt
you would have paid ten had 1 sug-
gested it. The orphans can never be
grateful enough to you. And now,
madam-and now as I wish to get to
the factory as soon as possible-and
give in the order-and make the dear
children happy-and good-day,
madam. good-dayi"
As the major talked he stepped on
the lady's toes and forced her back
wards, and before she was aware of the
fact she was out in the hall and his
door shut. She went down stairs with
puzzled and disturbed look on her
face and carried it for two blocks.
Then she set her jaw and retraced her
steps, She knocked on the door, but
there was no answer. She put her
ear to the panel and listened. but not
a leaf stirred. She ratified the knob
and put in several kicks, and she
might have pounded with her fists had
not a boy come out from an Office and
said:
IF you are looking for the Grand
Promoter you are wasting your time
But he was here a minute ago He
got two dollars from me-"
"Only two? Say, you got off lucky.
He generally gets at least fifty. No
use waiting He took skate out the
back way a minute before you came
up" Copyright 1906, by c. H. SUIT
cliffe.)