davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18


catcher. does not believe the Indians
are losers. He says the slump had
better come first than last.
The letter:
Toledo, o., June Is, 1906.
Friend Ed: | have been getting
your paper pretty regularly and you
know there's no use In the telling,
am glad to receive IT, When | get
The sun" It's just like getting a
letter from home. I not only get to
see the doings of the kitty" but
can see other things Of interest in
The Sun. You have noticed in the
papers where | am not doing much
work. The fact of the matter is that
am not billed to do much of It..
Abbott is doing the bulk OF the work.
he having signed contract with that
clause In Il. He is catching great
ball. and there's no use In breaking
up the lineup. When a teams going
good let 1t alone. l am not bothering
myself very much about work be-
cause know l will have plenty to do
before the season closes. Still you
know had much rather be in a
game. There isn't any possible chance
of me being let out, as Manager
Grille has already raised my salary.
We have had quite slump since we
came "home," but we are still up in
the race and bid fair to stay there.
Our pitchers are not going very good
at present, but we attribute this to
the weather, 1t being unusually cold.
and Toledo being a lake town, too, So
you can easily see the handicap. The
people here are simply crazy" about
us. this being the first time Toledo
ever had a winning combination.
When we returned from our hrst
western trip we were met at the
train by a band. carriages and fully
$1,000 Fans" The following Sun
day We we're to play Columbus and
wish you could have seen the bunch
OF people that turned out. The
crowd was estimated at 10000, but /
hardly think there was that many.
as It would be impossible to get that
many people in the Toledo park. Co
lumbus and Toledo are great rival
towns (like Cairo and Paducah) and
of course. they being the attraction
and we leading the league accounts
for the crowd. Wiley Piatt is still
with us and is pitching good ball. He
is looking eft to kill" He sends his
regards to you and all the fans.
notice in the papers where Padu-
cab is having some tough luck win
ming games. Cheer up, The season is
young and you have plenty OF time.
It's better to have the slump now
(which every club does) than to
have 1t in the latter part of the sea-
son. | certainly do wish I was there
to help you out, that is IL you could
use me. I'd be tickled to death to
come but there's no chance.
Piatt and ! are coming to Paducah
for a brief visit after the season clos
es. Well, it's getting late and time I
was getting In the hay" so l will
call the game, with kindest regards
to everybody in old Paduke, remain
your friend, GROVER LAND.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18
New Cure for Epilepsy.

J. B. Waterman, Of Watertown,
o.. Rural free delivery, writes: "My
daughter, afflicted for years with ep-
ilepsy. was cured by DR.. Kings New
Life Pills. She has not had an attack
for over two years" Best body
cleansers and life giving tonic on
earth. 25c at McPherson's Drug
Store.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18

From the fifth to nineteenth in
ming, inclusive, neither team scored.
Earned runs-Cairo 8, Paducah 1.
Innings pitched-South 10, Brahic
.. Hits-Off South Q singles. of Bra
hic Z. Three base hits-Blosser. Dou-
BILE plays-Brahic to Perry to Haas;
Perry to Haas. Passed balls-Down-
ing /. Bases on balls-Off Hatch 3,
OF South l of Brahic 1. Struck out
BY Hatch Z. by South 5, by Brahic
G. Hit by pitched ball-Downing.
Left on bases-Cairo II, Paducah 9.
Time of game-3'10.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18

The Metropolis lodges will hold
memorial services in that city sun
day. "a. and many local Odi Eel
lows will go down to attend. They
have arranged TO have the Dick Fow-
Ter run an excursion and a round
trip fare of 25 cents has been secur-
ed. The boat will leave Paducah at
O'Clock Sunday afternoon.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18

Earned runs-Cairo 2. Paducah, q;
two base hits-Dithrldge 2, Blousser.
Connors. Wagner; sacrifice hits
Fleming, Connors. Wetzel, Wright;
stolen bases-,Dithridge Taylor, Haas.
Wetzel; struck out-By Morgan 7. by
Wagner 2. by Wright 3; innings
pitched-Morgan 9. Wagner 8, Wright
IL; hits-Off Morgan s. on Wagner
o, on Wright 10; bases on balls-Of
Morgan 2, OF Wagner o. of Wright
2; double plays-Roland to Connors,
Taylor to Groh; left on bases-Cairo
IL, Paducah s. Time-2:1O. UNI
pire-Oldaker. Attendance-1,231.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18
Marshall Court Closes.

Jesse Wyatt, OF Benton. was given
three months in the penitentiary for
assaulting John Springer. Judge
William Reed returned Saturday af-
ternoon after receiving the verdict and
this ends Marshall circuit court as to
the docket and trial Of cases. The
grand jury was permitted to remain
in session until Wednesday.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18

II took twelve innings to down the
Indians yesterday at Sportsman park
In Cairo. The game was lost by the
Indians through errors. but the teams
played great ball. The Tadpoles used
two pitchers. the Indians opening up
a regular bombardmnet on ''Pierp' in
the seventh. Wagner finished from
the tenth inning and the Indians
failed to find him.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18
THE BIG LEAGUES.
National I.eague.

Brooklyn. n. Y. June 1s.-Sunday
baseball playing by professional teams
was resumed today and Cincinnati de-
feated Brooklyn three to nothing af-
ter the police had arrested President
Ebbetts. Manager Donovan and Pitch
er Eason. of Brooklyn. Manager Han
Ion and Pitcher Fraser, of Cincinnati.
Cincinnati, 3; Brooklyn, o. Batter
ies-Ewing and Schlei; Seanlon and
Bergen.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18

National League.

Philadelphia Chicago, rain.
Boston 4, Cincinnati s.
Brooklyn-Pittsburg. rain.
New York IL. st. Louis 2.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18
American League.

St. Louis. Z; washington. 8. Batter
ies-Howell and Spencer; Hughes
and Heydon.
Chicago. 3; Boston. /. Batteries
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18

The L. A. l.. baseball team won
from Metropolis yesterday in pref
ty game at Metropolis by the score
of to 2. The work of both pitchers
was feature of the game. This is
the l.. A. L. teams first victory of
tho season
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18

Malaria Makes Pale sicI<ly Children.
The Old Standard Groves Taste
less Chill Tonic drives out malaria
and builds up the system. Sold by all
dealers for 81 years. Price 80 cents.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18
American League.

Chicago 6, Boston o.
Detroit 2. New York 6.
Cleveland ., Philadelphia 4.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18
WATCHES

for Ladies and Gentlemen. In gold,
silver or gunmetal. Cigarette Cases,
Match Boxes, Cigar Cutters, etc. All
sorts Of dainty pieces of silver for my
"Iady's" dressing table.
WARREN 4 WARREN.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18

that will charm and delight the
Judge Of fine gems. Rings, Brooch
IS. Ornamental Combs. Chains,
bracelets, etc.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18

Jacksonville, ILL.,, June 1s.-The
Hoosiers took the big Sunday game
here yesterday. Hits. hard ones and
long ones and hits in profusion did IT.
The score: RHE
Vincennes ...... .... ) 10 4
Jacksonville ....... ....4 A 5
Batteries-Whitley and Madison:
Fox and Belt.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18
The score:

Batteries woodbridge and Bra
hic, Dye and Doyle.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18

White and sullivan; Harris and Arm
bruster.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18

Paducah at Cairo.
Jacksonville at Vincennes.
Nation at Danville.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18
Saturday The Struggle Lasted Nine.
teen Innings-Two New Play
ers Join.
PADuCAH WILL COME TO TOP.
Team Standing.
Sundays Results.

Cairo. a. Paducah, 3.
Danville, 3; Nation, 4.
Jacksonville, 4; Vincennes, s.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18

Danville, ILL.,. June 1s.-The Host
lers trimmed" the Soldiers again
yesterday. Poor base running lost for
Danville.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1906-06-18
watch the Indians"

Grover Land, the Big Indian
catcher. does not believe the Indians
are losers. He says the slump" had
better come first than last.
The letter:
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
Patriotic Remnants.

THE evening of the Fourth has came,
But where is Willie's ear?
The one that's left looks quite the
same,
But where is Wilie's ear?
This morning when he went to play
With cannon crackers all the day
His Jugs We're twain. Now where.
pray
Is Willes other ear?
Upon the Fourth the sun has set,
But where is Albert's nose?
We've all our little darlings yet,
But where is Albert's nose?
When to the fray he went at morn
With matches. punk and powder horn
He'd all the things with which we're
born
Now where is Albert's nose?
The gloaming's started in to gloam,
But where is Charles leg?
The rest of Charles has all came home,
But where is Charles leg?
The man who drave the ambulance
Said laughingly, mo more he'll dance,
But twill be cheaper buying pance"-
All, where is Charles leg?
Thus every Fourth our darlings lose
Some features or limb;
tbs most enough to cause the blues
And make our lot seem grim.
But, many be their limbs or few
Compared with those that on them
grew,
Well shout for Yankee doodle do
From dawn till dusktide dim.
Strickland w. Gillian in Judges Maya
zine OF Fun.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
A "How tov Gradn.te,

"Now, my DEAR" said the young hus-
band after the cook had left in wrath,
81 will go and get nice rib roast and
some potatoes and things, and l know
you can prepare dinner that will be
fit for king"
81 could get up luncheon, darling,
but not dinner"
why, you took first prize at cooking
schoolv'
Eyes, but only studied the branches
that taught how to get up dainty
luncheon from the cold meats and
scraps Of yesterdays dinner. Oh, I'll
tell you. You go somewhere and get
some scraps and I'll make the dearest
croquettes you ever asted."-Judge.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
Hans Gels Advice
From the Cooper
Told How to Improve His Business,
but Comes to Chef Ex-
perimendng.

copyright, 1906, by Eugene Parcells.l
~ NE time when don't have not.
tings to do und vhas feeling
dot shall go by der poor
house pooty queek my friend
der cooper calls in to smoke his pipe.
After we talk leedle he says:
Hans, 1 see how it vhas init you.
You vhas an old Dutchman who don't
catch on to der WAYS Of desc Ameri-
cans. If you do peesness here you
must have something's new every day.
You must kill man, rob bank, run
away NIT somebody's wife or get oop
some excitements. Der peoples 20 NIT
a rush from one place to another. You
must do something's to make 'em come
to your cobbler shop. Can't you kill
your wife or put your baby on hot
stove?'
"By golly, but I don't do such tings
If starve to death!" says.
"Vhell, don't get excited about It.
We shall begin in an easy vhay. To-
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19

BANGS MY HEAD AGAINST DER WALL.
morrow you shall tell fortunes, und
bet dot more ash feefty peoples come
into your shop"
"But how can I tell fortunes?"
asked.
you shust open your mouth und
speak. No matter What you say, it
vhas all right. Dere vhas one hunderd
fools to one vhise man, und it vhas der
fools you vhas after"
Dot cooper talks to me for half an
hour, und before goes to bed dot night
paints me a sign und hangs her oop
in my winder. She reads:
"Come in und hat your fortune told.
She don't cost you cent. Der German
cobbler nefer makes mistake"
My wife says troubles may come of
it, but goes to bed happy, und vhas
hardly awake in der morning When
peoples vhas knocking on der door. Der
first person to come in. vhas butcher.
When he vhas inside he whispers to me:
"Give it to me straight, cobbler, und
vhas always your friend. If knew
you vhas fortune teller vhas here
month ago, for suffer in my mind"
You vhas going to be unlucky,"
says, after looking at him for min
ute.
"For heavens sake, don't say dot.'
II can't help it. You must bring me
all your shoes to mend, but still you
Will be unlucky. Your wife vhas go
frr 70 r,1,, ,,,it
your dog vhas going to die; you shall
hat two lawsuits; your hair shall fall
off und you shall become baldheaded;
you shall fall off a street car und preak
your leg; you shall bet on der wrong
horse und lose all your money"
But Why should all dis bad luck
come to me?" he groans.
Because you hat sold too much bone
NIT your meat. Think of der t'ousands
und tens Of t'ousands Of peoples who
hat paid you from fifteen to twenty
cents pound for bonesv'
"But can't something's be done?'
Maybe, if you quit selling bones"
He sits down und holds his head In
his hands for minute und thinks it
OASis diAu oCA 1lC uJ uuu Sdy ..
mot on your life! Der bones help
along der profits. Say, cobbler, 1 be-
lieve you vhas an old fraud. / believe
you are standing in NIT der coal man
to scare me out of business. Maybe
my hair shall fall off, but yours shall
go firsty
Und NIT dat he grabs me by der hair
und bangs my head against der vhall
und makes me so seasick dot l believe
l vhas in der steerage going back to
Germany. like to take dot sign down,
but before I can do so vhomans
comes In. She was tall und solid und
sober. She don't smile any more ash
a paving stone. After she looks at me
for minute like judge she says:
"Cobbler, What fate is hanging Offer
my headY'
believe she vhas widow Who
mans mitout any children, und so Z
says:
"a rich mans has seen you und fallen
In love NIT you"
''Vhell?"
HE thinks of you by day und dreams
about you at night"
"Vhell?"
dot man has millions und millions,
und he never loved before. He will
soon throw himself in your vhay und
ask you to be der queen Of his heart
He Will say dot he can't live If you
don't marry him."
"Und What Will say?" she asked.
you haven't seen him yet, but as
soon as you do it Will be love at first
sight. You Will throw yourself into
his arms und tell him you vhas his
und you Will go AWAY NIT him to live
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
In palace all your days. Dot vhas
all. When Will you bring in some
chnns To ha laaondod


all. When Will you bring in some
shoes to be mendedY
Never, you old wretchr she shouts
at me ash she grows red in der face.
do you know vhas married whom
an und der mother of seven children!
go right AWAY to der police und hat
you arrested. Shoes? Why, 1 don't
bring you some shoes to be mended If
you vhas starving to death!"
vhas taking down der sign und
going out of der fortune business when
a fat man comes in und says:
Hold on a minute, cobbler. hat
ten pairs of shoes to be mended, und
bring 'em around after you have told
my fortune, Go ahead and tell me all
you can"
"Vhell, you are going to have some
good luck" I says.
dot vhas good"
You need some money in your bust
ness, but you don't know where to
get it."
"Dot's fact"
"In one week from now you Will go
out In der evenings und sit in der park
to hear der crickets sing. On der
bench beside you you will find wallet
NIT $4,000 in It,"
But 1 Will have to return it to the
loser, who will probably be some nurse
girl"
"No, you won't. Dot wallet belongs
to director of life insurance COM
pany. For twenty years he has drawn
salary of $4,000 a year und done
nottings. His conscience now accuses
him. und he leaves dot money on der
bench for some poor man. 1t vhas
yours Take it und be happy"
"Und dot Will surely happen to me?"
he asks.
"Sure, Mike"
"Vhell, something's else shall happen
too. shall find an old liar. His name
shall be Hans, der cobbler. 1 shall
reach out like dis und take him by der
neck und turn him around und give
him five kicks-so, und maybe he won't
deceive innocent peoples no morew
1t vhas hard times for me, und l
like to shut oop der shop und go to
bed When der policemans on dot beat
comes in.
Hello, Dutchy! But how about dot
fortune telling?" he asks.
81 vhas out Of business" 1 replies
"But you can't go out until you tell
my fortune"
Il vhas out, und stay out"
"Oh, you Will? Cobbler, don't make
any mistake on me. vhas der officer
on dis beat. l can run you In und get
you three months. Now, go ahead und
tell me What is going to happen in der
next year."
der commissioner Will hear OF
you"
dot vhas good"
"He Will have you call at his office
dot vhas better!'
'He Will smile at you"
"Dot means promotion"
"Und he Will tell you to take of dot
uniform und get off der force ash
| quick ash you cam
shall draw some wells over What
followed. Something's struck me on de-
header vhas some roarings in my
ears und lights flashed before my eyes
und When woke oop two hours vhas
gone by und der undertaken vhas say
ing to my wife:
ut Will cost you one hoonered dol
lars to bury him in der ground Why
don't you put him in coffee sack und
dump him in der river?"
NJ. QUAD. I
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
The Point of View,

did your play fail because it was
bad?'
"N1y dear sir" answered Mr.. Storm
ington Barnes, mo play fails because
it is bad Failure is invariably due
to a lack of intelligent appreciation on
the part Of the public. Washington
Star
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
Sure to Re Remembered.

"Will you think Of me when I'm
gomez" he asked.
II will for awhile" she replied. "My
foot's terribly sore where you stepped
on 1t at the dance the other night
Denver News
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
Durable.

Mother-Why are you crying, dear.
Daughter-Boohoo! l made Henry
some crullers, and he was tickled to
death.
Mother-Why. my child, then you
should be laughing instead of weeping.
Daughter-No. He said he was
tickled because they would make such
beautiful brown rings for the curtain
poles.-Chicago News.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
A Chilly Comparison

(Which is better, brains or money!"
'Well." answered Mr. Dustin Stax,
Il hate to say it, but it seems to me
that people with brains always have
to have money, while people with
money can, on a pinch, manage to get
on without help."-Washington Star.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
Happy Pair.

The Arnolds are very happy cou-
pie after all these years. How do you
account for it?'
well, he can't get over the idea that
he married a mighty good woman and
spends some time each day to prove it
to her" American Spectator.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
The Point of View

How differently things may be view
ed! From a monetary standpoint it
takes ten mills to make cent, while
from pugilistic view it takes hun
dreds Of pounds to make one MILL
Baltimore American.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
Joan-What be the meanin' O. that
number 'angin' up in front?
Darby-Why, that be the number o.
people they've killed.-Tatler.
The Greeting.

''Tick. tick" says the clock
Up above mo on the wall.
Thine is going. past recall.
Why let old friend Duty knock
And not open up the door?
Or has Duty called before
And been told to call again?
Must she ever knock In vain?''
'-Tick. tick" Eyes. I hear,
But I'm busy now, you see.
Go away; don't bother me;
Come around again next year
When have more time to spare.
What? It's Chance that's knocking
there?
Come right In: why. howdy dor
Eve been long expecting you'll"
Puck.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19

N. P. Christensen, the honest
real estate dealer, drove down to
Atlantic, Monday, taking his fam
lily along and they picked out a
spot where they will pitch tent
and call it home during Chautau-
qua, which begins July 2Sth.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
Bruins on the Increase

Redd-They say there are fewer peo-
pie betting on the races now. Do you
suppose that means money Is getting
scarcer?
Greene-No; it only means that brains
are getting more plentiful. - Yonkers
Statesman.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19

Kennedy's Laxative Honey and
Tar is the only original laxative cough
syrup and combines the qualities nee
essary to relieve the cough and purge
the system of cold. Contains no
opiates. Nick Doffing.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
Dummies.

Gunner-They are complaining be-
cause that fraudulent insurance COM
pany had too many dummy directors.
Guyer-I should think they would be
complaining because 1t had too many
dummy policy holders.-Detroit Trib-
une.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19

During the summer Irregularities
are often caused by excessive drink
ing or being overheated. Attend 10
the kidneys at once by using Foley's
Kidney Cure. Sold by Nick Doffing.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
ONLY wav.

Meeker-My wife and 1 never quar-
rel. She does as she pleases, and 1 do
too.
Bleeker-I see-as she pleases.
Meeker-Of course I'm not looking
for trouble.-Detroit Tribune.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
u Observation-Disclosures
! INSURANC E

We write policies in our office,
make endorsements and transfers
in companies that paid 100 cents
on the dollar in the great San
Francisco Fire. SOME INSUR-
ANCE is GOOD ALL THE
TIME. Buy a CONTINENTAL
Policy. 1t is good all the time
and costs no more than others.
You always get your moneys
worth and do not have to watch
the company TO see if it is good
the next year. We settle losses
promptly and satisfactorily. Our
policy holders who have met with
losses are our best friends. We
are willing to leave it to them.
Ask any of them. We do business
for the companies that have the
reputation of paying their losses
promptly and satisfactorily. Not
how cheap but how good. When
we are called upon to write pol
icy we write it in a company there
is no question about when the fire
happens. We cannot afford to
stake our reputation on cheap
skate companies, for we are often
called upon to paya loss where we
never expected one would occur,
and we are expected to pay them,
and we will always look we'll to
the interests of our large lists of
our policy holders; guard their in
terests as we would our own if we
were in their place and they in
ours. We have spent 25 years of
the best part of our life studying
insurance and we learn every year.
We think we know how to write
policy and have it right. Write or
phone me at Extra, Iowa.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1906-07-19
About Right.

Ragson Tatters-What does desc So
ciety papers mean by man about
town."
Weary Willie-Well, Ragsy, that's
nothin' in the world but hobo that
always manages to have the price
Detroit Free Press.