davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22
GLOBE SIGHTS



When you leave town despising it,
because you have made SO many mis-
takes there.
There is at least this to be said in favor
of the Teddy bears; they are about as
intelligent as a pug dog, and they wheeze
less.
A man may encounter some heavy
losses during his life. but it isn't likely
he will feel them more keenly than boy
feels the loss of a dog
Men are foolish, all right but none of
them have been guilty of doing g. 20 worth
of work to make a 25-cent handkerchief
to give to q friend
About the only chance Father ever gets
chill interval between lighting the fires
and the time the house is warm enough
for comfort
The man who has made failure in any
line of business never has a very good
opinion of the man who started in the
same line at the same time and made 1t
a success.
When a boy plays marbles, he wants
Il sack full, and gathers up the cheapest
sort of clay marbles. If he get
others. That's about the way poetry
counts in the average mans library. the
books fill the empty shelves.
The new pictures accompanying Uncle
Toms Cabin" are interesting. You know
the horrible torture to which Uncle Tom
was submitted down south. Well. judging
from the new pictures, he was particular
1y well treated at the home Of the st.
Eva" loved Uncle Tom" he was made
one of the family, and the new pictures
show the St. Glars giving a small re-
ception, with Uncle Tom as one of the
there as 4 servant. No. he doesn't wear
4 dress suit
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22
4 new YORK FUNERAL.

Three years ago we sent Charley
Vernon, the best reporter on the Ga
zette force, to New York for a holiday,
and he came back with a poor opinion
of the town. The first thing that
shocked him was to see a funeral clat-
tering down the street at a fast trot.
and as we are rather accurate about
such matters in Emporia, Charley in
stinctively counted the carriages and
found that there were less than TWEEN
ty, though he learned afterward that
it was the funeral of a man worth a
million. We have had only one funeral
in our town of man worth a million,
and that was three miles long. Charley
says also that there were no buggies in
that millionaire's funeral procession
the mourners all rode in closed car
riages. This is odd to US, fer in a
funeral of prominence the pall-bearers
the hearse is escorted by the wagon
ette-a long, low, rakish-looking craft
with q seat on each side; the pail
bearers ride in the wa~onette and have
q moderately good time. and If 1t is a
funeral Of prominence the pail bearers
are generally leading lawyers or doc
tors or business men. Following the
hearse come the hacks-never less
than three and sometimes as many as
a Dozen. After the hacks in the funeral
procession ecome the double-seated
sllrreys=the undercEt Surveys taking
precedence over the others-and after
the surveys come the top buggies, and
after them come the runabouts, and. If
the funeral is an unusually long one,
the spring. wagons of the farmers
bring up the rear. It means some
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

[rronl the PhiIadelphia RECORD

[Fronl the Philadelphia Record.1
Few people are so selfish as to keep
their troubles to themselves.
Most Of us are well on in years before
we are well off in cash.
1t is always harder to increase your
income than to decrease your expenses.
When you take your best girl skating
it is better to have a falling-out than a
falling-in.
Blobbs-'Betting on the races is a bad
habit Why don't you break yourself of
it?" SIobbs-''Well. I've come within a
few dollars of breaking myself several
times.
Miss Pert-'Its good plan to think
twice before you speak, Mr.. Saphedde-
''Yes-es; but when 1 do that 1 forget
what it was 1 wanted to say. don't you
know"
Nell-"AIiss Yellowleaf remains very
kittenish in her declining years" Belle
Declining years? Nonsensei Miss yell
Iowleaf will never have any declining
years as long as there is a man about"
I'm afraid we shall have to keep an
eye on our cashier" remarked one bank
director 10 another why, what's the
matter-fast horses?' mo; it isn't that
Specializing in stocks?'' No; worse
than that I understand he has been seen
at several church fairs lately"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

been several changes in those four
years.
The cutting or Of passes and, alegspa-
per transportation by the Hepburn bill
does not trouble the editor of the Ness
County News. In fact, it is suspected
that he gets considerable enjoyment out
of it. He says 1.-The News editor will
have plenty of company next year For
a long time he was about the only edi-
tor in Kansas who paid fare for himself
and family when riding on the railroads.
After the first of January all the pencil
pushers will be obliged to put up their
good hard-earn dollars or travel on
foot"
Incidentally the politicians should re-
member what has come to pass in four
short years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22
JOURNAL ENTRIES

BY the way, have you began to prac-
tice on your 1907 resolutions?
4 4
If you want to give a really valuable
Christmas present this year, what's the
matter with a fresh egg?
This is the time of year when people
regret more than ever that they have
made the mistake of being poor.
Old Bill White, in describing an En-
poria funeral in the American Maya
zine, tells about the surries coming
first In the procession behind the
hearse, the top buggies next. and then
the runab bouts. with the spring wagons
Of the farmers bringing up the rear.
Where. this department asks, does Old
Bill place the farmers who ride in
automobiles?
Bill Shiftless has begun to come to
Topeka to talk politics, and Deacon
Walker expects to see his picture in
the paper next labeled, "Hon. William
Shiftless.'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

treat he had given her. Il guess We
several times in the store making little
purchases. and wanted to know you
That was why I was watching you az
the lace counter I was hoping that I
might get a chance to speak
But why should you want to4 she
asked, Wonderingly
Because / love you'' he said. simply.
Il did not mean to speak so soon, but
I can't help IT, Ever since the first
time I saw you I have wanted you for
my wife Is there any hope?
case from his pocket. 7 have carried
It for weeks" he said. FOR knew that
my chance would come. VIII you wear
it, little woman"
For answer she held out her left hand
This Is the best Christmas present
girl ever had" she whispered, as he
slipped the solitaire on her nnger.-(Copy-
right, 1906, by c. H. Sutclihe.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22
JAYKN WKER JOT.S

Roy Tapley observes that the head
of the oil trust being a Baptist is an
instance of making oil and water mix
Some Ottawa hunters who went to
Texas brought back two live wlld cats
and two peccaries, besides the armor
of an armadillo-
Mr.. @. Chanute of Chicago, for
whom the town of Chanute was named,
recently came back there and leetured
the high flyers on aerial navigation
Emporia Gazette: L. A. Newton
says dogs are killing the Chinese
pheasants that were turned loose few
weeks ago. His own dog killed two or
them before he could stop him, and
farmers report the same thing rive
Of the birds died before they were re-
leased and if the dogs keep up their
work there will be no birds left II Is
not the bird or hunting dogs that are
doing the business, but the cur and
mongrel dogs that have never been
trained to hunt The birds cannot fly
as their wings were clipped when they
were shipped. There does not seem to
be any feasible scheme to protect the
birds until their wings grow out,
which will not be for several weeks.
II think" says Deacon Walker
reniniscently, the happiest day of my
life was the one on which 1 wrote
letter TO Santa Claus. l have mad
happy days since. but none Of them
were SO Completely filled with joyful
were no ifs and ands. Santa Claus
would get my letter and would not fail
me- That was a cinch l remember
as though it was this morning how /
took it to the postohice and gave it to
the postmaster. He looked at it and
then smiled and said he would see that
Santa Claus got it. And he did. How
1 envied the old postmaster because
he would see Santa Claus. That was
a good many winters ago and the ups
and downs of a rudderless life have
wiped away all the glamour and glow,
but 1 know that could some Of the
hope and honesty of that letter to
Santa Claus now occasionally sift IN
between the seams I would be a better
and stronger man. Don't shatter the
beautiful aircastles Of the letter to
Santa Claus. 1 have no use for the
person so selfish and coarse that he
would rob babyhood of this, its
sweetest and purest treasure. Santa
Claus makes better boys and girls, and
better men and women. Should some
genie appear before me and tell me to
call for the happiest day my magma
ton could picture, and it would be
granted. I shouldn't hesitate an in
slant I would call for the day on
which I wrote the letter to Santa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22
POINTED rAnAcnAPHa
IRON the Chicago News.l

From the chicago NeWs-l
Silence is golden, and yet some people
refuse to keep still
Shoes may come and shoes may go. but
men kick on forever
The louder man talks. the easier it is
to not believe what he says
There Isn't much satisfaction in arguing
with a man who doesn't care.
Some women look as if they had put on
their compilations wrong side out
It's sometimes as difficult to be right as
it is to prove the other fellow wrong.
Some folks are so fond Of the charity
that begins at home that they keep it
there.
A woman wants her husband to be hon
est but she's sorry that his honesty keeps
them so DOOR
There is no place like homeland the
husband Of a painfully neat woman is
probably glad OF 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22
THE DIFFERENCE.

After all, the differences between EN-
poria and New York-differences which
and the Sabine farm, where Horace
slipped his old Falernian-are merely
differences of provincialism.
What New York can't see Is how we
can live in Emporia with so little go
ing on at the opera house; and what we
can't see is how man who can have
one hundred feet Of lawn and 4 kitchen
garden to sprinkle with the hose every
evening after work, can permit himself
to be locked up in a long row of five
and six story cell-houses, with nothing
to distinguish one dollhouse from the
other but the number on the front door.
New York forgets that We have the
family horse and buggy and can go jog
at twilight, looking at our neighbour
porch-b boxes and admiring their trees
and flowers, and in the spring and au
turnn take long rides into the country
where the panorama is as good as Be
lasco ever attempted, and the great
comedy Of life moves on without waits
for the shifting scene. And We in En-
poria forget that New York has the
ocean and the great Fairgrounds for the
grown-ups, to which they go when
are happy. And we both forget that the
youth who talks books-like the poor
Is with US in Emporia, just as persist
emily as he is in New York. Also, that
young Mr.. Windeigh. who regales the
company with what 1 said to the
boss and what he said and then what
told him and what Miss Stevens said
and then what the head buyer said, and
what the boss said to me, and what I
told the head buyer. and what Miss
Stevens told me after they both had
left, is as distinctively product Of
Emporia as Of New York
We are of one blocd-city and coun-
try-in America; our differences are
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
rFrom the New york PressI

From the New York PressI
One way to have an enjoyable Christ
mas is not to have your wife give you
box Of cigars for It,
There's no chance for relatives ever to
be intimate, for you have no use for your
poor cnes and your rich ones have no use
for you
When a woman is trying to make her
husband take her on n short trip to
Europe she says they are planning to re-
tire and live abroad.
There's something about an argument
that makes man get all tangled up even
on the thing he knows better than the
other fellow.
When woman grabs her skirts around
her knees and begins to double up YOU
can never tell whether she sees a mouse
or is going upstairs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22
WHERE HE WEAKENED.

His head was high,
His eye was bright;
He seemed to fly
Into the fight.
With fear all gone
For terrors strange
That wait upon
The stock exchange.
In martial life
He'd been OF yore,
He loved the strife,
The din and roar;
For him no trace
Of fear could yield.
He loved to face
The battlefield.
With 1a1lid brow
And trembling limb,
Behold him now
And pity him.
His nerves are poor
For this new strife
A shopping tour
With his good wife.
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

learn dot he ISIS nod only in Washing
town. D. C., but dot he iss asking Ter
WATER
Der ossifers vich ISIS drying to con-
wict A1issus Caldwell uf hammerfne her
huspand on der head und killing him
hat Overlooked a sure clue TO guildf 81
innocence Dey shouldt egsarnine her
left thumb. No voomans can hammer
anything mitdout pounding her thumb
I wish knew" sayss B6issus tz,,s
Gobblesteinhauser ''vot to put in 5of
egstry room. Dere iss nod furniture
enuff to go round"
Meier mindt." sas-ss Gus. scothlcss-
~ ''pefore long der cidy railway viii
gedt a franchise to run car line
trough i'd
Fer a week er more id seems to me
Ife been took" by each Christmas
Und picked. till I feel like a xmas
VIM look. on der morning after.
YES, he chased the car for a Who'll.
block. whistling as hard as he Could
But all his whistling had no erect
sOht yes. it finally attracted the atten-
ton Of the motorrnan. who put on f11l1
speed when he saw what he was trvinr
to do-'-Cleveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

II Chancellor Days university isn't
remembered in the will of big bunch
Of the captains of Industry, it won't he
because the chancellor didn't do hts
part. Incidentally If any captain wishes
10 Ill up the university's stocking next
Monday night very likely Chancellor
Day won't lay any obstacles in the
road
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

1.-The Uncle Sam OIL company" says
The BeIoit Gazette, put in three tanks
1t RFankato. and when their wagon
started making deliveries last week the
standard people lowered the price Of
oil SO that 1T is now sold there at 10
cents gallon. retail" Let's see:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

There is some talk of sending out a
tracer to discover what has become Of
Colonel Daniel 3. Dyer, Of Smith Gem
ter. Colonel Dyer has not yet picked
out the Job he wants in the coming leg
islature. and there is great curiosity IS
% the cause Of this protracted delay.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

That book of J. B. Burton's in which
ne proposes to attack President Roose-
welt. J. L. Bristow, William Allen
white. CYRUS Leland. and others, is
anxiously awaited If it IS to do Bris-
tow am. good in this senatorial fight 1t
win have to be forthcoming soon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Another difficulty confronts the
tirnid young man who is wondering If
he can muster enough courage to ask
Her to be His. Diamonds have ad-
vanced twenty per cent in price dur
ing the last year.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Some bond coupons mysteriousiy
disappeared in an FL Dorado bank
Few days ago. So far as is known A.
r. Brown wasn't in Ell Dorado mat
dav either.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Mr.. Rockefeller says he can now eat
and digest a mince pie for the first
time in thirty years. Did Mr.. Rookie
Teller succeed in buying that new
stomach he was Offering a million dol
lars for three or four years ago?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Haven't we an anti-discrimination law
in this state designed to cover just such |
cases as this?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

AT last reports" says the sporting
editor Of the Osborne Farmer resl-
dent Roosevelt had made hve touch
downs kicked eight field goals and had
tbo hall on the Storers two-yard line. "
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

BE sure you are right and then go
ahead" advises John D. Rockefeller,
r.. in speaking Of getting married
But everybody is sure he IS right at
the time he does it. 1t is afterwards
that the element Of doubt comes in
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

president Roosevelt is furnishing
congress with a lot Of good reading
matter anyways much as it gets IN
the magazines that it has to pay casa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Mr.. Hartman. you will notice
doesn't ask anyone to believe that ne
IS through adding TO his choice col
lection of railroads
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

ont in the coal famine districts Others
besides the poor people would apprecl-
Ate finding ton Of coal in their Christ
mas stockings.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Right now shippers are having little
- saw about freight rates. All they
ask is a chance to nay the rates pul
tbev. cannot do it for lack Of cars
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

You can hardly blame the Parsons
sun tor. assuming that this new maya
zine. THE Circle will not be the
organ OF the Square Dealers
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

That man with a self-satisfied sn.ile
or his face is the one who bought his
earlv. The one with the worried cast
~ countenance is still putting 1t on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Incidentally President Roosevelt Is
setting pretty swift pace for his sue
cessors to follow in the line of wri1ing
ereouent little notes to congress
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

The Colorado river might as
make IN its mind to be sood nov ~
go back to its bed Roosevelt IS aA'ei It.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Andy Carnegie says his wealth be
longs to all the people in the abstract
If Andy will please abstract our snare
and l,tndIv remit. it will come in ex-
tremelv handy in the next day or two.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Reports from san Francisco indl-
rate that Schmitz IS snitten-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

This is the time of year when y
doesn't do much good to place one
money on ice. 1t won't keep over
Christmas no matter what one does
nth II
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

France has decided to cut out IT'S
crisis: Treat it just as though II We're
an unhealthy appendix
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

tenn uf discofering stolen peanudts vicb
might be uf yoos to der stats board
Fer der instructions derOf, We unclose
der diagram.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Only ten days now till you will have
20 write it 1907
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Dose monkeys vich ISIS nonkeying
NIT Pressidendt Roosterfelts bitznass
NIT der niggero solchers, will keebp or
until dey work him oop to der scratch
we're he will gadder oop der discharged
troops und yoos dem fer bears in hiss
annual hunt.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Patrick, der lawyer vich ISIS con-
wicted uf murder in Moo York, ISIS nod
satisfied nit uscaping from der zip
zip chair. Der lOpster efen hat de1
nerfe to vadt to gedt oudt uf chail.
My, my, but some folks iss awful hard
to bleas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22
THE "EAr1NGEsr" PLACE.

New York surely is the eatingest
place on this continent. In no other
American town d people spend so
much time fussiRg around their food
az they spend in New, York. Here in
Emporia- the stcrAs open at seven
G clock. and byfeig3lt o'clock all the
merchants and professional people are
at work For although the banks do
not open until nine. the bankers are
down and at work by half-past eight,
and Major Hood, who for years ran our
leading bank. used to come down town
at hali-past seven and stay in his Of
flee until six o'clock in the evening.
There are no nine O'Clock jobs in En-.
poria, and every one, rich or poor.
works nine hours. and many of US ten
hours. Most of the clerks get an hour
at noon but the boss-as we call the
head Of a store or an office or shop
rarely takes over half an hour. Most
men go home for their noon meal. but
Il few hurry over to the lunch counter
and spend fifteen to twenty cents, or
at most q quarter. for roast beef and
mashed potatoes, or stewed chicken
and dumplings, or fried catfish and
coffee and piece of pie. The meal
has no social significance. as it has in
New York An Fmporiaman would
as soon think OF inviting his friends
to take a bath with him as to take
lunch with him; for groceries have not
got so far along in Emporla society as
drygoods.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Won, er two fer dose nader. may
assume from der dispadges, dot vest
rubs oopagensd der vonce vet Arkan-
sas rifer desires a chaser. but perhaps
Collyraddo, vich ISIS a licensed state
needs der chaser verser den Kansas
needs id.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Hunding for bears may be a egsiting
spordt, but id issndt a smudge to der
can gedt oudt uf a rat, a cane und a
broom.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Owing to der feet dot turkeys ind
clamberries vas too high. der inmates
uf der seferal state asylums hat es
und Will draw chicken unstead. Efen
a crazy-haus inmate may hndt some
ding to glad uf, yet.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

This is almost the last can.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-12-22

Glory to God ia the highest. and on
earth peace, good will toward men.-Luke