The Cairo bulletin., 1906-06-24


Politics. my dear nephew" o
served Uncle George, genially. fro
the depths Of his easy chair. where
had been reading the latest play
George Bernard Shaw. which he no
surreptitiously concealed with slisl
blush, lis synonymous with man
words In the English language. sue
as graft, crookedness, and the ike.
addition to some even harsher ep
thets, for fuller description OF whic
| must refer you to Messrs. Platt an
Depew"
But, dear uncle" said little Oily
with puzzled air, in my dictionar,
II Is defined as that part OF ethic
which consists in the regulation ant
government OF nation or state for tn
preservation Of its safety. peace AM
prosperity
'Do not move me TO ribald laughter
Oily, as my nervous system is some
what shattered at this moment, ! an
forced to admit that your dictionary
intended to deal with the question
properly. but IL has fallen far short Of
the requirements. To be more explicit
my dear boy, politics, while original
~ scheduled to daily along the prim.
rose path you mention. has in fact
fallen long way behind, and Is now
hopelessly off the track. When your
genealogical compendium refers 10
ethics In that manner 1t does so with
many due reservations. Politics has
nothing to do with ethics In fact, the
two are as widely separated as col
ored collector Of revenues would be
from a Texas governor. Politics is
not condition. Oily; 1t is a game
There are two great political parties,
my dsara-boy, and the burning ques-
ton Of one is How much can we
steal?' while that OF the other is.
Grab IT before it's all gone. You
will at once observe where the ordi-
nary citizen obtains his rights. Vul-
carly speaking. 1t strikes him in the
region of the Attn cervical vertehrae.
A brief reference to your beloved die
tionary will reveal to you that ethics
may be described as morality. Even
the most rabid politician has never the
nerve to class himself among the high
Nv moral Roughly speaking, the poll
tIcian Ii a wise guy. and he usually
knows enough to seek refuge In q
mansion when II rains though some
times. under the steady downpour, he
makes a mistake and gets In the
wrong house and is unable to get out
until term of years has expired"
rs all politics crooked, dear
uncle?' asked Dilly. anxiously.
mo, not all. my boy" replied Uncle
George. There may be some de
scription OF 1t that is as pure as the
driven snow. You will not discover
that description in the United States
however. AT times the vile and lieen
tious press has limited at anomalous
conditions politically. but that is but
pity jealousy This same press has
pointed out with calm JUNCTION that
congress, the senate, the boards OF al
dermen. etc, including the city off
cials OF even the meanest municipality
are out for the stuff, but those OF u
who know the conditions merely smile
sardonically and reach out for tive
bundles OF the long green as II f.
passed to us by the lobbyist In these
days and times, my lad. one must not
inquire too closely into means and
methods. Politics is sacred trust
conferred on man by the sovereign
people. The mere fact that the sover
eign people are LOT OF absurd idlotg
when II comes to comforting such
trusts. makes but little difference The
assertion that the person in whom tho
sacred trust IL reposed promptly digs
around the corner TO the nearest polit
Teal hock shop and soaks II for what
he can get. is not germane to the is.
cue al all"
MAY we call man who deals In
politics politician. dear uncle?"
queries little Oily. E8 M
I'VE may. my dear nephew" replied
Uncle George, and In moments of pas
sion We infrequently refer to him b,
other names. but he is above all thing.
o politician. The sane man who cay
earn a dollar and a half a day who |
dickers with politics is commonly !
termed o DUN idiot. | may add. how
ever. that there are some millions OF |
these idiots in our country. poll
tician is sometimes more than a poll !
fician. my boy Frequently he Is q
snancier. and as a general rule he is
sn exceedingly wise man who under |
stands that his first duty is TO himself |
and his family. and that charity be
gins at home and usually ends there. |
A man who has once been a politician
Is never really anything else He NAV
be a convict part OF the time. and 2
politician the rest, but he is at heart
a politician throughout. and his heav.
en- Is a civic position with free access
TO the dough bag at any hour One
may describe politician even more
fully. Dilly. as man who insists on
doing something unnecessary for peo-
ME who do not want Il done. and col
lecffnr money for doing II against TIRE
win OF these people. Ia the country |
districts a politician Is man shade |
better than gold brick enthusiast
ana & shade worse than = lightning rod |