davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
ENGLISH WOMAN'S JOKE
Package She Called Valuable Sur
prised Lawyers and Bankers
When Opened.

There is such n thing as carrying a
lish woman who was travelling In
Canada deposited In the vaults OF
Toronto trust company parcel care
fuhy bound and secured with a num-
ber of imposing seals. II was under
stood that the parcel contained jewels
OF great value, and therefore 1t was
guarded with jealous care. says the
Rochester Post-Express.
A few weeks ago the English wo-
man died. and n clause IN her will
made mention OF the deposit in trust
in Toronto. After due process of law
It was ordered that the seals be
broken in the Canadian city. Heirs
In the old land and one in n far dis.
tant point In Canada sent their re.
spective lawyers to be present at the
opening of the valuable package. On
the day appointed the lawyers assem-.
bled in n private office OF the trust
company. Here is a correspondents
description OF the scene that fol.
lowed:
Red seals on the outside of the
bundle were first broken. then an ar
ray OF green colored seals were en-.
countered. After this wrapping came
fold sfter fold of paper. Then the
lawyers saw an oblong pasteboard
box. also carefully sealed. The eX.
citement was almost intense. Beads
of perspiration stood out on the
learned brows of the privileged few
present. With the unfolding of each
successive wrapping around the box
they expected to see the glitter OF
gold and the luster of diamonds. At
last. with nervous fingers, 1t was
opened: the treasure seemed near at
hand. Two more folds of paper were
undone, and several pairs OF regal
ewes saw an innocent and faded pair
of corsets.'
Nothing is known of the motive Tor
leaving the faded pair of corsets in
trust deposit vault. We may assume
that the English woman was eccentric
and wished to play prank or her rel.
ativcs. If so the joke was q success
although she may not be able to ap'
preciate 1t. There is material for a
novel in this incident. Willie Collins
or Charles Reade would nave based
nm exciting three decker" on 1t. and
had Conan Doyle foolishly decided not
to write more Sherlock Holmes stories
he could expand the episode into
most battling detective problem.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
HAVOC.
GREAT DAMAGE DONE TO
WHEAT CROPS OF KANSAS.
Insurance Against Loss from Storms
:f This Kind Is Now Taken
Out by Many Of the
Farmers.

"Hailstorms have destroyed more
wheat in Kansas in the last ten years
than all the grasshoppers and chlnch-
bugs since the state was organized.
said farmer from southern Kansas,
whose crop YVES destroyed by recent
storm In that section.
Last year one hailstorm in the
northern part OF Sumner county and
the southern part of Sedgwick swept
an area 30 miles long by two miles
wide. About 3S.900 acres, most of 1t in
growing wheat that promised to yield
20 bushels to the acre. were destroyed.
A half million dollars worth of wheat
was ruined in that one storm"
The hailstorm was never feared by
the Kansas farmer until wheat be-
came staple crop. Corn will recover
from haiistorm and make an average
crop, but light fall of Ice at a certain
time will ruin a crop of wheat. Nav
and June are the months OF hailstorms
In Kansas,
In France and Spain where the hall
storms destroy the grape crop large
cannon have been placed on the hills
above the vineyards. At the approach
OF Il hailstorm explosives are shot into
the cloud. and it's belief among
farmers-laughed at by scientific men
-toat the storm Is sometimes dissi-
pated. The Kansas farmer doesn't
bornbard the clouds. He has found
that 1t pays better to insure his crops.
Hail insurance companies have been
organized. The farmer insures his
! wheat crop against hail just as the
man in the city insures his house
against fire. He places whatever value
on his crop he can afford to pay the
premium on. Some farmers occasional
ly insure SO heavily that they would
not object to a hailstorm to save the
expense of harvesting the crop.
The first hail insurance companies
were mutual companies. organized
among the farmers OF county or a
district. 1t was soon found that those
companies were not safe because a
haiistorm usually cleared a whole dis
trict. Then each farmer was COM
PEELED to bear his own loss. for the
mutual company could not pay. East
ern capitalists have formed a number
of hail insurance companies In the last
five years.
Farmers have n belief that hail viii
follow the same path for three con-
secrtive years. So II n hailstorm de-
stroys n crop they insure heavily for
the next two years.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
The sheen of Penrls.

The famous pearl stud belonging to
the late marquis of Anglesey. sold n;
Christie's In London some time ago for
the large sum of $4,000. is eclipsed by a
beautiful pearl which changed hands
some years ago for over $4,000. 1t was.
OF course. huge in size. and absolute per-
fection as to shape and color. and 1t
possessed that radiant sheen which
marks the pearl Of great price. This
characteristic is noticeable in the pearls
owned by Queen Margherita Of Italy.
and by those in the possession of the
duchess of Marlborough, gems which
often graced the beautiful neck Of Mario
Antoinette. The luster It is which raises
the value Of the pearl and decides its
price, and smaller Jewel possessing 1t
will realize larger sum OF money than
one Of even greater size lackingit.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
me BECOMING coLoRs.
What II "Artistic" for blonde and
brunette, and for Her That
Il Neither One.

9lue for the blonde and red for thu
.stte. with. to use an expression, Il
es phrase, any old color for the
u"" Who is neither the one nor the
o'hei' puN sort OF nondescript. seems
" pe 'ne only hard and fast rule
never mind ihs blonde has pink and
white skin, with gray-green eyes, In
which no hint OF h,ue NAV he noted
blue is selected for her and wear a
she must, ironically comments a writer
In the St Louis Globe Democrat. As
matter OF taste. she should instead
wear pale green. deep brown, cerise.
blue, pink and black, with any blue
that Is selected at all. either navy
or bright turquoise. Yellow for
such type makes an ideal gown for
evening. and so will white over green.
mere Is mauye. with pink lights,
that becomes this complexion also.
ii the eyes of such blond are blue
or violet, still she will not look her
best In the pale blues; let her instead
wear heliotrope, pink. purple. green in
the llshtest shades; white or black,
crimson and mauve. A dark red
brown Will also be very becoming and
one shade of gray.
Inc real brunette, with dark eyes
ana hair and plenty of color, has a
large choice, except In black, which
Is rarely becoming. Cream, yellow,
Indian red. ivory tints. deep and pale
blues, cardinal red. all the tans, coral
pink. fawn color. putty and the terra
cottas: old rose and rose pink; ali
are becoming with pale blue. white
and pale green, for evening wear.
What is called a fair brunette
eyes violet or dark blue and the hair
dark brown. must be careful in select
ing strong colors that will kill her
delicate complexion. No such choice
as bright yellow or vivid red. but rath
er the less pronounced shades OF
both. and all maize, golden browns
gold tans, pale coral. salmon pink and
silvery blue.
And the girl who Is decidedly
brown" like the nut. must use Ger.
tain colors that will bring out hei
coloiing best. Warm grays, like the
puce; red browns. rose red, nastur
tium, ecru. apricot color. peach bios
som. amber in its tawny tones ant
ivory white are all good for her.
Where the hair is neither light mol
dark. the eyes sometimes hazel. mor'
times blue. and again gray or blu'
gray. great attention must be paid tt
the coloring OF the skin: II th-.t is clea
pink and white. all the shades o
mauve and purple are good. and alst
the blues with green in them. and thu
greens with blue lights. On the otheI
hand. II the skin is sallow. such color!
are not becoming
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15

rRuNNlNG HIS f'1Ss'
i've got friend in the literary busi-
IS
n. writes books and wears hair
oush to put the brotherhood OF Bar
s on the bum.
ubsn he isn't running serial story
oush the magazines he's running his
,,rs through the eel-grass on his top
!, and looking wise.
hate to knock Il friend. but simply
,,nse guy is a genius does he have
,nsh around with a mop on his ko-
,pd butt into public building
,v time he thinks in the open air?
NJ friends name is Newton With
,rham Hurtuboise in print. but at
me- they call him Bud for short.
ns,s father says the lad with the
ary bug ought to be driving cart
,ha direction OF the dump, but Bud
smiles and asks mother to pass
fish.
tsh diet Is said to be the real cheese
the brain,
mink II Bud would only eat n shark
whale he might be able to write
ks,hing warm.
Ia not knocking. remember: I'm
saying what think.
hate a knocker.
rsad TO go TO school with Bud.
lls he was inside licking up loga-
ms and beating Caesars Commen-
Is to 4 pulp. | was always loa ing
Nd the outside OF the knowledge
,ory, printing my name on the
with a jackknife. and acting Just
the village cut-up.
md look at the difference between
kp-dayl
b can sit down and write n novel
Eill stand you up in the corner.
Ehen he wants to get downtown
has to touch the old lady for the
Of a car ride.
tsTer got beyond the Fifth Reader.
| couldn't dig up Latin word To
ny soul. so all I can do is to
AANh ~ Fh'i-A''Ah. ia''
ts dope and crawl out n little latc-
4 hatful Of money.
ttll you It's all dead wrong'to give
little old red schoolhouse the CLASSY
That's right.
Iysay, bumped into Bud the other
iaE and led him to n trough.
pgshed for couple OF throat teas
hd Bud warmed up with the CAB.
zas out to tell me how hard II Il
frite 4 novel. but | cut in on his
IL
3 cInch'" says. "All dub
. do is 10 pound out n parcel OF
kraphs. drag them down to the
fr and let them get away in
b"
pas ready TO buy again. so Bud
\ contradict me ard delay the
sr ! had filed his reservoir he
the hot-air into his pipes and
down the lane with the assertion
couldn't write a postal-card to
nd and finish right.
ll that ingratitude.
give me steer like that after |
90 With him across the Plaza and
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
PUSHED BUTTON IN VAIN.
Hotel Guest Overlooked the Tsle-
phones and "Kicked"
to the Clerk.

He walked heavily down the hall. a
scowl on his face. his hat pulled down
over his eyes and his teeth closed tight
ly in rage.
Down." he shouted to the elevator
boy loud enough to disturb the other
guests of the hotel. Rotten service.
rotten hotel. beats anything ever
went against In my life"
Then he boarded the elevator car and
descended to the office floor. He was
full OF wrath and indignation when he
almost ran to the hotel clerk. who
stood behind the desk.
What kind of n hotel is :his?" he
asked. nearly out Of breath. 1--WE been
In hotels before, but l never got such
poor service In my life. The service In
this joint is the limit"
The clerk smiled pleasantly, yet with
a look OF uneasiness on his face, and
asked:
Have some OF our bell boys been
uncivil. sir?"
Bell boys?" replied the guest at the
top OF his voice. That's II. | have
been trying TO get one for an hour and
haven't even seen one. | stood there
in my room for half an hour pushing
the button and ringing for bell boy.
What did get? Nothing. Talk about
service. | never" Now 1t was tho
clerks turn. He said:
II guess you're from the Kerosene
circuit. aren't you?" The guest did not
understand.
What do you mean?" he demanded.
why. those buttons have been out
of service for two years. said the
clerk. This is a modern hotel; we
don't use the old antiquated system Of
so many rings for this and so many
rings for that. Use the telephone when
you want to communicate with the OF.
fee"
The guest became meek and walked
back to the elevator without making .
response.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15

Presently the first section of the tall.
wide man pulled in on the home siding
The second section. consisting of Il
boot heel and several portions of over
coat and trousers. remained out on the
sidewalk
"Oh. Harold" the wife exclaimed.
passionately. how did you fall?"
when | have fully recovered" he
said. not unkindly. 81 may demonstrate
for your benefit the various convolu-
tions through which | passed. At the
present moment, however. an illustra-
tion of my method is impossible for
obvious reasons. Therefore, you must
let your Imagination feed your curiosit?
until such time as am better able to
tie myself in bow knot for your in
struction and edifcation."
Then he swore fitfully, and yelled for
the arnica bottle. the brute!
The End.
showed the novel to Clara Jane and
she threw the most ladylike fit you ever
saw.
"Oh. It's perfectly lovely!" says she.
Me!-to the roll-top desk! Mel
with fountain-pen in each hand and
hand-sewed novel hot of the steam
pipes every week.
Copyright, by @. w. Dillingham; Coz
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
LIGHT colors of Summer.

II is only very recently that ladies
have gone out upon the street afoot IN
gowns Of light colored cloth. But this
fashion prevailed last season. and Will
be still more popular this year. Pale
pink, light blue, soft yellow browns
and tans and creams will all be worn
on the street. side by side. with sill
yer lobster, crab red and salmon. They
make up very lovely suits. which do
not soil easily, after all. for one keeps
them for nice-not for marketins-anu
with little care they last all the sea-
gnu.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15

ton, or one OF the beautiful mercer
tied cottons. should be used for the
work. The size of the handkerchief
should be decided on, then piece of
paper cut to size. allowing a margin.
should have the design arranged upon
IL. Tracings must be taken Of the
piece shown: the border could he con.
tinued all round handkerchief. and
the corner of course, in all four cor.
uers: the whole can then be trans.
feyred to the handkerchief by means
of blue tracing paper.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
CONCERNING CLOCKS.

Never allow the clock to run down.
II responds TO regular attention inst
as surely as human being doe, ana
keeps Its course truly when made 10
follow its endless routine.
The hands OF q clock should alway,
be turned forward. To set the hand.
by reversing the risht-hand motion In
to loosen delicate screws that hold
them within reach OF various cog
slips.
Never allow the clock to be moved
from the position where 1t is well bal
anced. A deviation OF two or three
minutes a day from the correct time
may be the result of an uneven
placing OF the clock. and once II II
properly adjusted 1t should not bs
shifted for dusting or for artistic pur-
poses. This is especially true Of
clocks that have n pedulum.
Even good fellow" may reform.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
CALIFORNIA EARTHQUAKES.
Number That Have Shaken the Stats
During Ten Years, 1889, to
1893, Inclusive.

Among the reports Of the United
States geological survey published In
the "nineties" are eight bulletins on
the subject of earthquakes in Califor
MIA, which contain accounts of shocks
that occurred during the ten years
from 1889 to 1898. inclusive. Study Of
these bulletins shows that there was
hardly single month in all those ten
years when seismic disturbances, more
or less severe. were not felt along tho
| Pacific coast.
The first Of these bulletins (No. 6S)
was written by Prof. James Edward
keeler, astronomer in charge OF earth.
quake observations at the Lick
observatory. Previous to this Prof.
E. S. Holden had published, through
tho California state printing office, q
paper which contained list of the
earthquakes that had occurred in Cal
ifornia. lower California. Oregon and
Washington territory and which gave
all the available data up to the end of
the year 1888. The next bulletin (No.
95) published by the geological survey
was prepared by Prof. Holden. II
contained an account of the earth.
quakes In 1890 and 1891. The other
bulletins covering the records for 1892.
1893, 1894. 1895. 1896. 1897, and finally
1898. were published as bulletins Nos.
ll2, ia. 129. 147. 155. and 161. respec.
lively, and all were prepared by Prof.
CHARLES ID. Perrine, OF the Lick OBJ
servatory.
ihe largest and most complete
instrument used for recording earth
quaSes on Mount Hamilton, as de-
seiioeu In these bulletins, records the
horth anu south. east and west, and
vertical components ~ tho e,rtb,.
motion separately on a smoked glass
piate' which Is started by the prelim.
mary tremors of the earthonot. ana
rotates uniformly in about thre. -,in.
utes. the edge OF the plate being ,r,d-
uated into seconds at the same t,ma
by a clock. which also serves to record
the time OF occurrence of the shock,
This instrument has been called tho
Ewing seismograph. Another simpler
form consists OF heavy duplex" pen
lulum adjusted to n long period o.
vibration. with a magnifying pointe
or pen. which records on smoke,
glass plate both horizontal component!
OF the motion. The vertical compo
nents and the time are not recorded
The observatory possesses other sells
mographs of various patterns. bu
they are not constantly in use.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
Aren of Peru.

In size Peru is fourth among South
American republics, its area falling
slightly below that Of Bolivis 1t COW
ers 695,7OO square miles. without In.
Guiding certain areas which are In
dispute with Bolivia, Ecuador aud
Chill. It is thus nearly one-fourth the
size Of the United States, and nearly
six times as large as the United King.
dom.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
EYe-Qpeners.

An aged Scotch minister. about to
marry for the fourth time. was ex'
planning his reason to an elder. "fou
see, am an old man now. and I can.
ma expect to be here vera lang.
When the end comes I wad like to have
some one to close my eyes," The
elder nodded and said: "Ah! weel.
meenister, I have had twa wives, and
baith of them opened mine!"
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
Tn Wrong Profession.

The proprietor OF a theatrical com.
,any which played at Kingfisher late
" was arrested for assaulting one
n the members Of his company and
,tated on the witness stand that he
was a horse doctor. Many Of the peo.
ole who saw his show were willing to
believe It and thought that he should
have stuck to his original profession.
- <nsas City Journal.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
Ne,u Auto Coats.

Quite the opposite to the favored bo-
,ero is the new design in auto coats.
These are expected to cover up tho
gnwn effectively. to have full 'ength
sleeves approaching cape size In suil'
ness and to be so loose and easy OF nj
aa to be almost baggy all over.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
EMBROIDERY DESIGN.
Intended for Working on n Handker-
chief. Work in Satin Stitch and
Border in Buttonhole.

This design Is intended for working
on pocket.handkerchiefs Tho work
is In satin.stItch. with the exception
OF the border. which is in buttonhole:
all should be raised by running out
several times before the satin'stltch
Is done. Fine. soft. embroidery cot
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15

"oH. IT'S PERFECTLY LovELYr'
sidewalk perils for those who so down
In slips?
Esotcric Science leads one to sup
pose SO.
Meanwhile the wife waited wearily
at home, and the cook tapped the beef
steak nervously with the coal shovel.
II was her night out.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
That'a So.

IT need the advice Of a physician. =
remarked the alleged actor. Would
you advise me to consult DR.. ouacker-
lyT
WELL" replied his friend. the drug
gist. "I don't think much Of his ability
as q physician: still. he might be able
to cure . Chicago Daily News.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
Cabba,ye-Head.

"I want to get II head Of cabbage
said the man whU had been sent -
market.
Large or small headf" asked the
grocer.
'oh, about tx said the man. ah
sent mindsdly.--Yoikers statesmaA
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
Flesh Reducing.

II is said that vichy and Kissingen
tablets will reduce the weight. that th7
combination acts directly on the faX
tissues. The best and sanest way
flesh.reducing Il found IN diet and *
esclse.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
ChaD,er III.

MY mother was n lady" so
She said, but Just the same
She ate boiled cabbage with n knifn
Except when company came.
-DeWolf Hopper.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15


A tall. wide man moved thoughtfully
down the street in an opposite direction
to that which he had come from.
Suddenly. and sorowfully. wIthal. ha
emulated the snowflakes and sat upon
sidewalk.
While at home the wife waited
wearily.
Chapter III.
he rubbered hard to see the stage,
But only saw a hat:
Next day he heard the play was bad,
And he was glad OF that.
Andrew Mack's Irish Melodies.
The sea hath many perils for thosa
who go down in ships: but hath not the
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
Crouch,

The New Cook-what does your
papa r. his brekfussf
The Angsl Chlld--Anything What ~
ain'e 81 Cleveland Leader.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
I" HATEFUL OF MONEY"

W VI NUN Ex.
MIN to six bowls of Anheuser
'aere's no literary IN SAae can
the elbow.
" snow Bud what a clever brute
.ent home and wrote a novel.
Jason It's so good is because I
nunch from Rud. Kipling's
quite as chesty as David
out there's more poetry In 1t.
qua sees 1t he'll put up the
.ad take to the lumber camps
the gag:
NE BEAUTIFUL SNOW.
'fom life in a great, great city,
Chapter I.
y, Waiting here alone
-, desc udder folks?
s.slns laushings ven you ~
an making chokesf
Sam Bernard.
mlly the snowaakss ri epcn
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15

fore Mrs. Pinkham every year, some
personally, others by mail. Mrs. Pink
ham is the daughter-in-lawo of Lydia Z.
Pinkham and for twenty-five years
under her direction and since her de-
cease she has been advising sick women
free of charge.
Mrs. Pinkham never violates the con.
fidence of women. and every testimon-
ial letter published is done SO with
the written consent or request OF the
writer. in order that other sick women
may be benefited as she has been.
Mrs. Alice Berryhill, of 3l3 Boyce
Street. Chattanooga, Tenn, writes:
Dear Mrs. Pinkham:-
"rhree years ago life looked dark to me.
I had liberation and Inflammation Of tho
female organs and was in u serious condition.
My health was completely broken down
and the doctor told me that II l WINS not OPP
Grated upon would die within six months.
l told him i would have no operation but
would try Lydia +. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound. He tried to influence me against
it but sent for the medicine TINT sans day
and began to use it faithfully. Within five
days felt relief but WAS not entirely cured
until used IL for some time.
Your medicine Is certainly fine have
induced several friends and neighbors to tako
1t and know more than n dozen who had
female troubles and who to-day are as well
and strong as l am from using your vege-
table Compound"
Just as surely rs Mrs. Berryhill was
cured, will Lydia Z. Pinkhams Vege-
table Compound cure every woman
suffering from any form of female ills.
II You are sick write Mrs. Pinkham
tu, r aaSice. Its free and always help
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15
IN STRICT CONFIDENCE
Women Obtain Mrs. Pinkham'e
Advice and Help.
She Has Guided Thousands to Hssith.-
How Lydia Z. Pinkh ans Vegetable Com
pound Cured Mrs. Alice Berryhin.

1t is q great
satisfaction for .
woman to feel
that she can write
to another telling
her the most pri-
vate and confden.
tial details about
her illness, and
know that her let
ter will be seen by
q woman only.
Many thousands
Of cases of female
Diseases come be.
The Ordway new era., 1906-06-15

Even a good fellow" may reform