The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-03-17
DriftwOcd
man shouldn't let his courage sink because his voice is drowned
BY PHIL H. ARMSTRONG.

A man shouldn't let his courage sink 1 because his voice is drowned. l
 A boy doesn't have to be an artist tn draw pitcher of cider.
 If hoop skirts are to come into fash | ion again it will give, the women the l appearance of wearing a barrel (appaH- 1 A woman is so afraid she can't keep l a secret that she f,ets another woman to help her. The chronic kicker sometimes finds there is brick under the hat.
 When the floorwalker directs a girl to the right counter she thfnl,s he Is flirting with her.
 When woman succeeds in persuad- ing her husband to go out to church, her through without asking for cou. pon 'Tts Ill wind that blows nobody good said the teacher as the boy handed out hot air stories about being sick,
 A "gilty" conscious is the result of acquiring too much gold.
 It isn't always a good sign when a ship is getting nearer land-sometimeS it's that at the bottom
 The bass horn player has no more right to kick as he always comes out at the big end of the horn
 When a man has a devilish good time it means he has had a pretty .4ot one and the devil Is to pay.
 "Glasses'' often enable man to sec his finish.
 If men would worry as much about flying hereafter as they do on earth. it would be a better world.
 If woman would roast her husband for going to church as often as she he'd be found in the amen corner every Sunday.
 A woman will stand and look at the dresses in a shop window with as much fascination as a bald headed man will look at bottle of hair restorer. When man mixes his drinks its a sure sign that he will mix his words. The time a man shows what real hypocrite he Is. is when he laughs heartily at the poor jokes of the man at whose table he is taking dinner
 How Could He. Monologist: I give up-1 can't force that audience to laugh.
 Stage Manager: How could you ex- pect smiles through "tiersT'
 Bin,
 When Casey called you liar that time. did anything grow out of itT CT thot grew out of his grave How did you get inT"
 "On pass" "A pass9 lar"
 Overheard.
 T am thinking strongly of getting l A "A autSt lot of people are doing that and you couldn't think of a stronger sub- | ject."
 The nerve of that woman" she says this noise always sets her | teeth on edge"
 And"
 And everybody knows she wears plate"
 The Whole Family. Father wears glasses. Mother wears a plate. There's a fellow that comes And spoons with Kate. Sarah Jane Is dish faced A forked tongue has Nell But you ought to hear the napkin ring The hand of sister Bell.
 The Editors Love.
 1. Oh an editor loved a pretty maid. He called her his little pearl He said you're the very type" like" For she'd set" him In a whirl He printed kiss on her tinted"
 cheek
 Nothing was out of align" Then he said She's Sunday supple And the "color work" Is fine They married at length and the editor
 found
 He had to revise" his views. Life changed from magazine supple TO nothing but common news" An error was found when he saw the And he looked like a cut of a storm They hung him on the dead hook" He ~asS saw that she made up the form"
 P. Il. 4.
 I'm Three States. The following Is clipped from an Ohio paper as it is. SO far as known, the od- i est baseball ground in the world Ohio Trr1-t Wfrgfpfa and PenEy1Va p{a o,,arL. |