davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05

HUMOROUS HAPPENINGS CON-
DENSED INTO BREviTlES.
Where the Neck Joke Originated
Boy Wanted Compensation After
All His TroubIe-Timid Sutton in
Very Hot Water.
In Chicago.

They were near a dark alley, both
with revolvers drawn.
Just ready to give the warning
money or your life!" they recognized
each other
Hello, is that your" asked one 4
didn't recognize you"
Beg pardon,v said the other, 81
was just about to hold you up, too
No offense"
Met any live ones?"
"a cop, and / worked the pocket
book game on one "--Indianap-
oils Star.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05
Queer Medicinal Prescriptions.

A superstition less prevalent now
than it was few years ago is that
the skin of black cat laid on the
bowels is almost a sure cure for in
fammation. Like the recipe for hare
soup, you must first catch your cat,
kill preferably at midnight-skin
Immediately and apply the skin warm
to the patient
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05

travelling man received the follow
ing telegram from his wife:
Twins arrived tonight. More by
mail"
He went at once to the nearest OF.
flee and sent the following reply:
81 leave for home tonight. If more
come by mail send to dead letter Of
flee. "-Lippincott's Magazine.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05

Il understand, professor that you
have thirty-five boys at your school
this year, said Mr.. Naybor.
Ordinarily, yes" replied Prof
Bright, "but last Wednesday they were
doubled
Indeed? How was that?"
"They broke into my hothousc and
ate lot of green cucumbers."
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05
A Missed Opportunity

Hi-Ever lost any money in the
banks?
Si--Lost 800 through one of 'em
onct
Hi-Did she bust up?
Si--Nope. Feller wanted to bet me
500 against $50 that | couldn't tell
which shell little ball was under.
an the blamed bank was SO fur away
that | couldn't git to it to draw the
money out to bet with!
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05

Suitor (timidly)-I-I wish TOTO
marry your daughter, sir.
Pater (angrily)- What's that, sir.
Where's my cane?
Suitor (hastily) sir-I didnt
mean that-~I don't want to marry hs-
Pater furiously) Don't, chi
Where's my gun?-Cleveland Leader.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05

Removing Ink Stains from Book.
To remove ink stains from a book
dissolve a small quantity of oxalic
acid in warm water. Wet the stain
with this mixture.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05
Chinese and Japanese Buttons.

To-day the buttons worn by the Chi
nese and Japanese on their wonder
full costumes are the most highly o.
namented and the most valuable from
an artistic standpoint of any in use
throughout the world
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05
Shake Into Your Shoes

Aliens Foot-Ease, n powder To cures pain
ful, smarting, nervous feet and ingrowing
nails. It's the greatest comfort discovery
OF the age. Makes new shoes easy. "A
certain cure for sweating feet. Sold by
all Druggists, 25c. Trial package FREE.
Address A. S. Olmsted lie Roy, N. Y.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05
Sunday in HeIiqoIand.

Sunday in Heligoland begins on
Saturday at 6 p. m, when the church
bell is tolled, and continues till the
same hour on Sunday. Formerly no
vessel could leave port between these
hours.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05
Discrimination Necessary.

The man who always takes a wom-
an at her word is bound some day
to make an awful blunder.-Somer-
Vile Journal.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05
Collector of Dwarfs.

King Philip Nv of Spain collected
dwalfs, and many diminutive speci.
mems of humanity were sent him on
his birthdays.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05
A est Case.

speed of my machine" pleaded the
amateur chauffeur, as he was ar
raigned at the bar of justice
ooh, | see," dryly remarked the
magistrate. "A fine case of arrested
development. Twenty-Five dollars"
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05
LEGAL Terms.

The commonwealth is the whole
body of people in a state, the body
polite, the public "SS" means ITO
wit
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05

Use the Salt Lake Route to Confer
ence this year. Best from Sanpete,
Juab, Utah counties, and the far
south.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, sofens the gums reduces I'm
Examination, allays pain, cures wind collie 25c bottle.
Long Valley advocate. (Lardo, Idaho) 1904-1907, 1906-04-05

USE THE FAMOUS
Red Cross Ball Blue Large 2-oz. package 5
cents The Russ Company, South Bend, Ind.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
Timothy Healy And
His Ownership Views

Chicago, Sept. 23.-Timothy Mich
ael Healy, NJ. p perhaps the most
conspicuous of Irish statesmen, Is
stopping over few days In Chicago
on his way to California, where he
will look over some legal matters con.
nected with his Office as Kings Coun.
sclor, the character of which he would
not diyulge. Incidentally Mr.. Healy
praised President Roosevelt for his
action in coming out for spelling re.
form. II will benefit children with
limited educational possibilities, he
said
Mr., Healy was surprised when he
was compelled - pay two pence ha'
penny" for a ride of one block in a
street car. He ielt sure "such ride
IN Dublin would have cost but ha'
penny"
Then Mr.. Healy did not hesitate to
express his opinion that municipal
ownership In Chicago would not be a
success II undertaken by the present
or any other administration.
While | am far from posing as an
authority on the subject. my obserrG'
ton leads me 10 believe that munici.
pa ownership in Chicago will not be
. success he said. 1T Is true that
1t has been successful in Glasgow, but
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13

the beach at kowloon. The British
destroyer Taku, the river gunboat
Moorhen and the gunboat Robin were
damaged.
Large numbers of steamers and sail
ing vessels were wrecked or damaged.
The German steamer Aprenrade found
cred. and was total wreck. one life
beng lost. The German steamer Jo-
hanne was beached ana badly damaged.
me German steamer Signal was also
beached but not seriously injured. The
British steamer Fatshan went ashore
in i{owloon bay and was badly dam
aged. three lives were lost aboard
ner. The British steamer Monteagle
also went ashore, but was not greatly
hurt. The kwongchow, British
steamer, sank off the kowloon God
owns and Captain Mead and his crew
were drowned. The Strathmore col
iided with the Quinta and was badly
damaged, as was the PrinZ Waldemar
tGermanj. The American ship II. p.
Hitchcock went ashore at KowlOOn ana
had her hull badly damaged and he fore
topmast carried away. The American
ship |. +. Chapman lost her main roy
al must lie llNtl
wing Chai went ashore in Kowloon ana
broke her back. and the Kong Nam.
also a British river steamer. was com
pletely wrecked. The German steamer
Emma Buyken went ashore but was
not seriously damaged. The Britisa
Cbgngsha also went ashore. AS did the
old steamer Rosario and the British
steamer TAX Hing. The Kinshan, a
hne British river steamer. was wrecked.
The British steamer Heungshan went
ashore OH San Chan island, with large
rock through her bottom.
The Dutch steamer Tjiliwoug collid-
ed with the Emma Luyken and the De-
vawongse and was badly damaged on
the port side. The Deyawongse had
her bows stove in. The American
steamer Sorsogon foundered along side
the Kowloon docks and caught fire.
The master OF the Chinese twin screw
river steamer San Cheung (Brltish)
was unable to get mp steam IN time to
help himself and the vessel sank nj
the dock and broke her back. The
wooden screw river steamer PAX Kong
went ashore. The Sado Maru was
among the vessels which was injured.
when the storm passed away the
haIbor was strcwn with wreckage.
Practically every sampan, lighter ana
river boat In the harbor was gone. Most
of the larger vessels were either ashore
or damaged to greater or less extent.
At 2:30 In the afternoon the British
cruiser Terrible came and reported that
she had seen no bad weather whatever
The next day she picked up 200 dead
bodies. For days the dead were float
ing on the waters OF the harbor, and
up TO the time the Coptic left II was
impossible to more than approximate
the loss of life and the damage done
by the storm. At Hongkong. out OF Is
whaive8 only three were left standing.
The entire fishing fleet was lost outside
tn harbor.
An investigation OF the Hongkong
observatory Is TO be made. to endeayor
TO ascertain why II did not give warn
ing of the approaching typhoon.
Tho Coptic will sail for San Fran.
cisco NJ I o'clock this afternoon.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
PEOPLE Of KOOLAU
GREET CANDIDATES
Talk and Eat Their Way
Around Entire
Island

County sheriff Brown returned this
morning from BaIciwa. where no left
the rest of the touring Republican
candidates this morning. lie will re.
turn to ioin them this evening.
1--WE had an excellent trim all the
way." said the Sheriff this morning,
we had GOOD crowds cycrywhcrc.
and 4 think the politicaa situation I'm
the Kooaus looks far Better for the
Republican party this year than Il
has ever bccn before
I'VE left here last Thursday morn.
ing and arrived n; Kancohe nj 10
O'Clock. A meeting was held there
with II. w. Lelciwi. the Koolaupoko
candidate for Representative. prosid.
ing. There were about Gny people
present who received the spcechcs
well. At 9 D. m. We arrived at Wal
lau. We STONED Mt Captain parkcr's
place. where a luau had been prepar.
cd for us, ana made spcccbcs. In the
evening We smoke Mt Waiknne spcnd.
ing the night at senator McCandlcss'
place.
YESTERDAY We started nj. q n M.
arriving nj 10 n. m. at Kahana. where
we had another Iuau and made more
addresses. AT n. m. We smoke mt
Hauula, and In the evening we arriy.
cd at Laic. where n fine Iuau was pre.
pared for MS by Judge Nainoa. We
smoke ut the dancing hall. there being
music. singing and dancing between
the spccchcs, and did not wind IN be.
fore 1 o'clock this morning This
morning we wen. to UaIciwa, where
the rest OF the candidates are now.
We will sneak at Waialua tonight and
nj Waianac tomorrow"
NJ II d n 81 u 81 81 ~ n III 4 a ID ID ID ID
II nv no means follows that II will no
,ouallv successful I'm Chicago. Poll.
tics enters so largely into municipal
affairs I'm this city that Il seems TO me
/, would wreck any such proposition."
"You are not n believer i'm municipaI
ownership. them"
"No. am not. Glasgow and Liver.
rool present some phases of success
in the municipaI operation of tram.
ways but thcy arc isolated instances
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
Sugar Trust Record
IS Again Exposed

Philadelphia. Pa, Sept. 25.-Georgc
II. Earle, receiver of the Real Estate
Trust Company, announced tonight
that he had laid before President Roo.
sevelt the evidence that the sugar
trust had violated the Sherman anti.
trust law and he had decided to begin
suit against the company. This deci.
sion was reached after he had made
futile efforts to induce the sugar trust
TO either take mp the 40 per cent. of
The stock of the Shackamcion sugar
refinery. which Adolph Segal trans
ferred to the trust company, or con.
gent to the opening of the refinery, 30
the Real Estate Trust Company could
realize on the stock.
James Gay Gordon, who represented
the sugar trust, would not consent
10 either proposition submitted by
the receiver. Segal, who was pres
ent, said that when he sold 81 per
cent. OF the stock of the refinery he
was given to understand that the pur-
chaser represented the Mutual Life
Insurance Company of New York and
that the business would be continued.
Soon after the sale the refinery was
closed.
Mr. Earle communicated recently
with the Department OF Justice con.
corning the alleged conspiracy of the
trust, and Chief Wilkie Of the Secret
Service came here. The receiver held
q long conference today with c. T..
Hotchliss of New York, representing
the American Sugar Refining Com.
pany.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
SoPHs. ARRESTED

Chicago, Sept. 25.-Thirty-two soph.
ignores Of Armour Institute OF Techs
nlogy were arrested today for hazing.
Rev. Il. NJ Dunno, chancellor OF tho
diocese of Chicago, was the complain
ant.
A wholesale roundup OF students
marked the end OF the hazing stunt"
the like of which has never been re,
corded In the annals of the big school
Firty-ive freshmen will have cause
forever to remember their experience,
covering a night and part Of the day.
Freshmen were seen on the streets
wearing all colors Of the rainbow that
can be found In paint pot. Some Of
these found their homes last night, and
some today, but their friends knew
them in their disguise of red, blue, yell
low green and black paint. To people
who saw them on the streets they were
maniacs.
The scene of the hazing was barn.
Three hundred seCond-year students
used the barn as a prison In which they
held nearly sixty freshmen captives
throughout the night.
--
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13

lmportations per o. s. S. Sonoma,
rIriving -oday, were: 1857 crates
grapes, 80 crates celery, "a crates eau
llnow@s. packages figs, ? boxes
sweetbreads. "a boxes poultry, 10
boxes oysters, box artichokes. lis
Loxes butter, 70 cases eggs, 2 packed
cases, 4 packages, 4 crates and . bales
merchandise, 10 boxes opium, 40
boxes merchandise, | wheel, ! crate
dog, IS boxes nutmegs, 3 boxes pears.
20 crates plums, 2 bundles cheese. 7
alGA and I box medicines.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
DECIDE TO KICK

81. Johns, n, T.. Oct. l2.-ThC cab
met has decided to oppose the modus-
vivendi regarding the Newfoundland
fisheries, which hus been reached by
the United States and great Britain.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
Plumbing Permits.

L. Yamauc. clubhouse. King street,
kalihi: Kwong Chong.
Andrcas Silva. cottage. Tantalus
drive; Maitos.
Mrs. Halulchua. Clubhouse. South
street: Akimoto.
Fred. Harrison. brick store. Fort
and Bcrctania streets: John Mott.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
COMMITTEE OF SAFETY

san Francisco. Oct. ia meeting
of citizens will be held today TO form
Il committee Cf safety and rid the city
Of petty thiCy1a.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
EARTHQUAKE IN ITALY

Palermo. OcI. II. -EnrthQuakes have
done great damage in Sicily. There
lave been one hunurcd shocks in Cal
abria within five days.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
Building Permits.

e. ID. Walker. boat house. adjoining
Myrtle BOat Club.
San Yucn Hop. 2.story kitchen. 1nii
Maunakca street.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
De WiTTe HAD ENOUGH

Paris, Oct. is.-Count dc Witir, FOR
mcr premier OF Russia, is in tbs city
He declares he VIII never return - Of
flee.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
PARLIAMENT 10 CONVENE


Paris, Oct. ~ -Parliamcnt VIII con,
vene October %.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13

Blank books Of all sorts. lcdgers
etc manufactured by the Bulletin Pub
fishing Company.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13

Blank books OF all sorts. ledgers
ETC.. manufactured by the Bulletin Pub
fishing Company.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
HONOLULU LODGE s,s, .. p. o. e

Honolulu Lodge No. GIG, D. p. o. T..
will meet In their hall, IN Miller
and Beretania streets, every Friday
evening.
BY order Of the Y. r.
HARRY II. SIMPSON.
Secretary.
n. 2. MURRAY. Err.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13
LOCAL and GENERAL

More is done with words than with
are the busiest words In the world.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-10-13

Your grocer sells Poi Breakfast Food.
The Penn's Grove record., 1906-10-05
The Modern Dinner.

A medical Journal complains that the
modern dinner has become an ex-
tremely depressing affair and that, SO
far from being a feast Of reason and q
flow of soul, the conversation is a mere
interchange of symptoms, details of
operations or the advantages of this or
that cure. Such topics evidently are
not provocative of remarks that set
the table in a roar, nor do they tend
to promote the good digestion which
should wait on appetite. Indeed, there
Is little appetite for digestion to wait
upon. The daintiest of menus is disre-
garded when the diners are under a
regime, and courses pass untouched,
while powders are openly stirred into
w~ineglasses.
The Penn's Grove record., 1906-10-05
ST. ANTHONY.
The Temptations of the Father of
MOnasticism.

The Temptations of the Father of
MOnasticism.
What were the temptations of st.
Anthony? st. Anthony was one of the
earliest names placed on the calendar.
He is called the father Of monasti-
cism because his life and teachings
were really the foundation Of the
many monkish orders of a medieval
times. He was born in a city of Egypt
In 251 A. D. of parents who were both
wealthy and pious, and he early de-
cided to give his life up to religious
contemplation. He went into the will
derness, taking up his solitary abode
In an old ruin on a high hill, where he
disciplined himself in austerity. But
his devotions were interrupted by a
prOtracted series Of sadly irrelevant
Authorizations, believed to be sent by
the devil to tempt him aside from a
holy life. He was visited successfully
by visions of all the idolatries Of the
early world, by the princes and poten-
tates of history and their wives and
daughters, by Solomon and the queen
Of Sheba, by the gods and goddesses
Of Greece and Rome, especially by Di-
ana and Venus, and other interesting
characters. According to the legend,
his devoutness at last breaks the pow
.er of the visions, and they leave him
forever. He remained twenty years in
his lonely ruin, then, yielding to the
wishes of other anchorites, went to
Memphis and there founded the first
monastery, which was little more than
a group of cells. After six years of
teaching he returned to his desert
home and at last died there at the age
of 105 years. The French novelist Gus
taye Flaubert has written an entire
volume OH 1.-THE Temptations of st.
Anthony" giving all his visions with
most elaborate description. A decided
ly fippant, not to say profane, poem
bearing the same title and in the style
of the "Ingoldsby Legends" is some
times included with these humorous
ballads. But Barham did not write it.
1t was the work of one Tom Sellers, a
much inferior NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
The Penn's Grove record., 1906-10-05
PEDRICKTOWN.

Oct. 3-Miss Katie Cooney has return
ed from a few days stay in Woodstown.
Mrs. S. NJ. Blocksom spent Sunday in
Wilmington.
Scott Picken has commenced rebuild
/ ing his house. A contractor from Null
lica Hill is doing the work.
Miss Mary McCune has been i'll for g
few days.
Mrs. Robert Diver and daughter Edith,
of Penn's Grove has been spending a few
days with Mr.. and Mrs. James Sweeten.
Mr.. and Mrs. Cooper McCarson have
commenced housekeeping in Penn's
Grove. Mrs. McCarson was formerly
Miss Lura Corson.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Watson entertain.
ed over Sunday G. Davis-and~ wife, -
Paulsboro.
Mr.. and Mrs: VIM. Burk had as theil
guests on Sunday r. E. Corson and fam
lily of Woodstown.
Mrs. Lille Lock. of National Park, was
a visitor with Mrs. Amanda Shultz over
Sunday.
Mrs. Emma Pedrick, Mrs. R. d. Mitch.
ell and son, of Paulsboro, have been
spending a few days with Mr.. and Mrs.
Samuel Holdcraft.
About $126 was the amount taken at
the syster supper last Saturday night.
Proceeds for the NJ. E. Church.
Mr. and Mrs. Albert Sparks are spend.
ing ten days in the Blue Ridge Noun,
tains in North Jersey,
Mr.. and Mrs. Richard Gordon have
returned to their home in Atlantic CITY.
Mr.. aud Mrs. Gordon have just returned
from a few days stay in the White Noun
tains, New Hampshire.
Harvey S. Justice and wife have been
spending a few days in Atlantic City.
Chas. Stiess has bought the George
| Sharp farm near Bridgeport.
Thos. Dilks, of Sw~edesboro, has been
visiting among friends.
Mrs. Lydia Bonsall, of Penn's Grove,
is visiting Mrs. VIM. Burk.
Albert Risner, son of Warren Risner is
very ill with typhoid fever. He is slight
ly improved however.
Elizabeth the young daughter of Mr.,
and Mrs. Clay Smith is sick.
Next Sunday will be observed as Old
Folks Day in the M. E. Church. A
special service will be held in the even
ing,
Mrs. Mary Crawford has gone to Phil
adelphia for a time.
Mrs. Harrison Holton has returned to
her home in Camden.
An attempt was made recently by some
unknown person to enter the home of
John Haskell.
Liveryman Gaventa is building an adj
dition to his barn.
Miss Maggie Duffy, of Woodstown, is
spending a week with Mrs, Thomas
Cooney.
A horse belonging to Jacob Gaventa
and driven by VIM. Casey on Sunday
night became frightened at an automo.
bile and threw HIM from the buggy, bad
ly cutting one limb and bruising his head.
Edward Prigger is attending the JET
ferson Medical College.
Mrs. NJ. Black, of Swedesboro, was a
recent visitor with DR.. and Mrs. E. M.
Black. Mrs. Black is entertaining her
mother Mrs. E. Bates, of Williamstown,
for a time. I'll
The Penn's Grove record., 1906-10-05
WOODSTOWN

Oct. 3-Wm. Borton has entered the
University of Pennsylvania for the pur-
pose of taking a course in Veterinary.
Miss Estella Pancoast, OF Germantown,
has been the guest of the Misses Clayton.
Miss Anna McCloskey, of Philadelphia.
spent Sunday with her mother.
Mr.. and Mrs. Rem Clayton, of Haddon-
field. were guests of Mr.. and Mrs. David
Davis and family over Sunday. Mr.. Clay
ton is gifted with a very fine tenor voice
and at the Sunday morning service in the
Methodist Church he favored the con
gregation with three hymns.
Miss Alice Borton is spending the
month at The Pennhurst, Atlantic City,
experimenting office work.
Mr.. and Mrs. Alvah Bushnell, Jr., of
Tiago, visited her father VIM. M. Wealth.
erby.
Councilman VIM. S. Clawson started
on Wednesday for Ottawa, Canada, to
shoot moose,
Eli s. Prickett has sold his farm to
Geo. w. Barton who will take possession
of it in the Spring.
Ewalt Richman and Allen Davis have
formed a partnership in the poultry bust
ness.
Rev. w. I. johnson, of Bristol, Pa,
delivered his humorous lecture on "See.
ing the World through a Enot hole OF
the Ups and Downs in Life" in the
Opera House last Thursday evening, fol
the personal benef. of Rev. c. fl. Clip.
man. He portrayed life in It's different
stage beginning from childhood with its
ups and downs in a humorous manner,
; at the same time giving good advice.