davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17
BY James Crawford

Repartee, singing and dancing make
up each of the three new acts at the
Orpheum. John Hyams and Leila Nc
Intyre divide honors pretty evenly in a
nonsensical sketch entitled Two Hun
dred Wives" Ella Verne serves as a
feeder" to Tom Armstrong in their I'M
named offering, and the three Leigh
tons, all of the sterner sex, present "A
One-Night Stand in Minstrelsy," which
does not closely adhere to its designa-
ton.
Mr.. Hyams informs Miss Mcintyre
that a certain person is indebted to him
IN the sum of $40. Does he owe it to
you long?" the lady inquiries. willfully
orrraging grammar to help out the eff
fectiveness of the reply, which is, No;
he borrowed 1t when he was short"
Soon afterward she tells him that his
mother-in-law has just expired, and
asks him for instruction as to whether
the deceased shall be embalmed or
buried. III take no chances" he hast
lily responds; "cremate heri" When he
slips and almost falls he remarks that
there must be an empty banana some
where around there, and then he asks
his fair partner If she has any place
to dine next Wednesday. NO., she
says, expectantly, not next Wednes-
day" He dashes her fond hope by
coldly exclaiming, How hungry you'll
be next Thursday" But they dance
and sing very nicely together, and the
lady's Imitation of gawking little girl
is really excellent
Armstrong and Verne no sooner open
their respective mouths and speak than
the superfiuousness of billing them as
The Australian Comedy Duo becomes
apparent. They manage to keep III"
IN its proper places, but the rounded
"a" betrays their nativity Daon' t
make an announcement of thawt
clawss," Miss Verne admonishes Mr..
Armstrong when he attempts to adj
dress the audience. Most of their
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17

! jokes, although of unmistakable Brit
ish coinage, elicit hearty laughter
which may be regarded as something
of joke itself. The biggest laughs.
however, are provoked by quips that
are spiced with Americanism, such as
go, but prunes are with us forever"
In an imaginary telephone CONVERSE
ton with John D. Rockefeller the male
comedian says: IT encountered a
great surprise today. (Pause). Yes;
/ picked up a magazine and your por-
trait wasn't in it, Laughter) 1t was
The Tonsorial Review" More laugh
ter from folk who know of Mr.. Rookie
fellers badness and are aware Of
what "tonsorial' means. The resultant
volume of mfrth might be increased by
the comedian substituting Hair
Dressers' Gazette" for the title he en-
ploys. Some people would rather lose
chance to laugh than expose ignor-
ance of any definition contained in
Webster. Mr.. Armstrong has a quaint
comedy method and a singing voice
well adapted to the requirements of
vaudeville.
Two of the Leightons sing in unison
almost as precisely as did the Dillon
brothers, and the other leighton
dances with more than ordinary abil-
ity. Their humor, however, is remi-
niscent of burnt-cork's gone forever
heyday
Julius Steger and company In THE
Fifth Commandment retain first place
IN the favoritism Of the audience.
Katherine Nugent's act is not improved
by elimination of her warbled ac-
acknowledgement that something besides
curly hair is required to win and hold
her adulatfon. Charles Sierra. Dzira
and her dancer and Palfrey and
Hoener. comedy wheelmen, complete
the list of holdovers
FOR next week the Orpheum Road
Show is announced.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17
GYPSY GIRLS GET
SAILORS COIN


Several gypsy girls. alleged fortune
tellers, raised lively row on the water
front yesterday afternoon. and they
finally landed UP at the Harbor Police
Station and were charged with va
grancy and petty larceny.
The women made trouble when De-
tectives T. F. Conlon and James Nc
Gowan arrested them. at the request of
five sailors, who claimed that the gypsy
maidens had robbed them of their
money.
According TO the statements of the
sailors, they were wandering along the
water front when they were accosted
by the fortune tellers. One of the
sailors fooiishly gave a $50 piece to one
of the girls. and she said she would
change it across the street. When she
did not return the sailors followed and
overlook her at Mission street
At the police station the $40 piece
was found on the girl.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17
FLAGS TRAIN AND
AvERTs. CRASH

BY singular combination Of circum-
stances and the extraordinary vigil
ance of a trackwalker a serious acct
dent was averted yesterday afternoon
on the Southern Pacific line at Harri-
son street, between Eighteenth and
Nineteenth.
Train No. As from San Jose. due in
this station at 1:20 p. M, was delayed
en- route and was scheduled to arrive
twenty minutes late. About 1875 o'clock
a trackwaiker patrolling the yards no.
ticed a spread in the rails of the main
line at a point between the streets
mentioned. He was just in time to
flag the approaching train
Outbound train No. 40 left the yards
and on meeting the stalled train had to
back to the station again. A freight
train following close behind the pas
sepger train was held on the main line
for an hour and twenty minutes.
The incoming passenger was running
faster than schedule time in its eff
fort to make up for lost time and had
it not been for the opportune discovery
of the defect in the rails a serious
catastrophe would have resulted
Coffee is strength and tea is rest
Schilling's Best.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17
CAPTAIN McCRACKEN MAY
COMMAND THE SOUTH DAKOTA

VALLEJO. Dec. 16.-It is understood
at the Mare Island navy yard that
Captain Alexander McCracken. captain
of the yard. who is at present in the
East, has obtained an additional ten
days leave of absence, and that he will
endeavor to secure the appointment as
commander of the new cruiser South
Dakota, which will have her trial trip
next week in Santa Barbara Channel.
Only a short time ago McCracken APP
piled for command of the Iowa. but he
was not successful. He then asked for
the California. but it appears that Cap
tain T. S. Phelps has been named for
this vessel. The impression prevails
that -McCracken will be given the South
Dakota
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17
NEW CABLE ROAD WILL BE
OPENED NEXT THURSDAY
Cars VIII be Run Every Eight Minutes
from North Beach to Market
and OFarreu Streets

The new line of the California street
Cable Car Company. connecting North
Beach with the heart of the city. will
be opened on next Thursday morning
and cars will be run over the route on
an eight-minute schedule.
The line begins at the intersection NJ
Market and OFarrell streets and runs
west on O'Farrel1 street to Jones. along
Jones to Pine, along Pine to Hyde and
along Hyde to the bay. On account OF
the poor crosstown service of the Unit
ed Railroads the road will be appre-
ciated by the travelling public
For the first three weeks the COM
pany will only operate a car every
eight minutes, but as soon as the new
cars, which are being constructed by
local firms. are completed, the time
schedule will be cut down.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17
Christmas Tree Ornaments


Make this articles
from large while fresh
until Christmas-dont wait until the best
Toy Christmas Trees, 25c to $500
CHRISTMAS CANDLES and HOLDERS. 4
Holly Gads gold and silver decorated with Red Berries nse
Tree Tops Santa Claus Strings Glass Balls etc., Lanterns
Bells Footballs COrnucOpas Globes
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17

OF dollars trying
to cure, and / went
to the hospital,
but they failed to
cure me and it
was getting worse
all the time. Five
weeks ago my wife
bought a box of
Gu ticura ONT
N ent and one
cake of Cgticura
SOap. and I am
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17

Hawaiian Beauty Pure old Kona Coffee 80 SO
NdbSCO Dessert WdcrSAsoted aavor 20 ns... .45
Pop C0rn-For the Christmas pop balls lbs 20
Italian CheSnutS-Suf your turkey with them b. 20
French Mixed Candy-Chocoates bon bons as
HudDufS Violet Sec Toilet Water bottle box rs
homemade Mnce Meatut make 45 10 gL Lao
Assorted NutEx fancy stock all kinds lbs LOO
Canned Peas "Sea 0amust like the French. so
PeckS English Cheese Roquefo Gorgonzo h. LIS
Glace Fruits and Pine Apple assorted b. As
Hungarian PFunelen fruit New faFd Dates, kind stuff
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17
CURED BY CUTICURA
IN FIVE WEEKS

"Since the year 1894 I have been
troubled with q very bad case of
eczema which I have spent hundreds
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17

George A. Knight is going to his
ranch in Mendocino County for the
holidays.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17
GOLDBERG
BOWEN eco.
OPEN EVENINGS
The Christmas Rush
You know particularly in
Four Busy Stores
Scarcity good help handicapped us some-bu will
render the BEST SERVICE POSSIBLE.
Come Early

Our usual Specials will this week-we're
overtaxed
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17

o'Neill & Eber. jewellers, 1744 Fill
more, below Suffer-.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17
DISFIGUR|NG
SKIN HUMOR

Impossible to Get Employment, as
Face and Body Were Covered With
itching Sores = Scratched Till
Flesh Was Raw Spent Hun
d1e0s of Dollars on Doctors and
Hospitals and Grew Worse
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17
Holiday WineS-LiQuOrS

WhSky-Od Stock Bourbon Old and Mellow qts LIS gallon $50
Pale Harmony Sherry-Impored qt. 100 .sa $50
Commentator Spanish Is wood LIS
ClaretLa Rose Vista del Vale q doz PTS 625 doz qt SIS
Sautcfne-Pan Vista del Vale doz $50 OTIS
J0hannSDerg- Rhennh California $50 DTS AIS
sweet LGc-Guaranteed apple gallon 80
Peach and Apple Jack BrandyThe q. LIS
Scotch Whisky L.. l2yeard cold nights hot Scotch L3O
Apricot Braldy-Mane Bnzard Rogers rs L50
This cordial distilled h fresh au
and the hnea TN champagne brandy
kumnel Mdmpe SAn delicious
Here uto overlook highest awards.
SOe GlnThe Ped Brand the and fine quality Of this gin cordial
has secured for universal and popularity 40 q LIS
Bordeaux CIarets and Sauternes
Have Just large shipments Of de Luxe Fills Wines
having complete -
HenkelI & Co.'S Hook and MoselIe Wines
The large the of this well known convincing
Of then splendid quality, Don't fail them
Paul Mason Chanpagnes
Extra Dry qts $50 DTS LIS
Sparkling Burgundy The only naa! sparkling Burgundy produced
arhhcaIy cabonated. l25
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1906-12-17

Coffee is strength and tea is rest
Schilling's Best.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1906-03-30
Cruelty 10 AnimnIa.

Colonel Martin, resident near the city
of Galway, on the southern border Of
Connemara, Ireland, was probably the
first TO start the worthy humanitarian
crusade against cruelty to animals. The
surprised British house of lords shout
ed insult and derision at Lord Erskine
when in 1911 he ventured to gently
plead the cause of dumb brutes. The
British house of commons would have
treated Martin in the same manner
when he introduced his bill for the pre-
vention of cruelty to animals but for
wholesome regard for his dueling repu-
tation.
'Dick Martins act" as the humani-
tartan statute was known, was passed
In 1922, "a memorable date in the his.
tory of humane legislation" On June
"a, 1924, Colonel Martin and few
other benevolent individuals met in
London and formed the first society for
the prevention of cruelty to animals.
Forty years later the movement spread
to America. In 1866 Henry Bergh
formed the New York society.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1906-03-30

General Logan was wounded at Fort
Donelson she went there and nursed
Kim through his long illness Her son,
Major John a. Logan, Jr.. was killed
in the Philippines while STOPPING TO as
siSt a fallen comrade in Il victorious
charge during the campaign against
Aguinaldo. Mrs. Logan has shown her
devotion to her country in 50 many
ways that her choice as president of
the American Red Cross society, in
succession to Clara Barton, seemed es-
pecially fitting. The widow Of General
Logan is widely known and loved
Mrs. Logan. now white haired and
stately in appearance, is a woman of
many accomplishments and great tact
A story told of the Blaine and Logan
campaign of 1884 illustrates how the
clever wife sometimes saved her bluff
and impulsive spouse from mistakes
at Cincinnati Blaine had been accorded
a great ovation, but through some
oversight when Logan arrived a little
later not a soul extended to him the
freedom of the city, The general re
scented it and in Il conversation with
reporter intimated strongly that Mr.
Blaine had had something to do with
the incident When the newspaper
man took his departure Mrs Logan fol
lowed him into the hail, She said:
THE general was indiscreet in say
ing a great many things that would
not look well in print. Promise me
you will make no use of them tOmor-
row." The reporter protested. He had
been sent for the interview and could
not afford to disobey his instructions.
but Mrs. Logan placed her hand on his
arm in motherly fashion and again
entreated him. 81 am very anxious"
said she, chat the Republican ticket
should be elected this fall What the
general has said would create serious
division within the Republican ranks
! know the nature of the sacrifice | am
asking We have Il great many friends
among the newspaper men at Wash
ington, and if the time ever comes
when General Logan can do as much
for you assure you it shall be done"
The reporter gave the promise Not
line of the conversation appeared the
next day
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1906-03-30
RULES FOR A HOME.

Remember that home begins with
charity.
Remember that open windows make
health epidemic.
II you must worry, take big thing.
The little things will knock you out.
Keep your children, your dogs and
your troubles away from your guests.
The dining room should always be
sacred. That is the one room where no
scraps should be allowed
Have the same standard of morals
for yourself as for your children. You
need it as much as they do.
There are three standpoints to every
home-your own, your wife's and the
cooks. Try and forget your own.
Put over the front door for every
member of the family TO read, He
who enters here leaves satire behind"
Buy everything on the installment
plan by paying for it all in one install
nent-the first-Tom Mason i'll Judge
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1906-03-30

The Indian elephant named Fritz In
the geological gardens of Berlin was
Europe's largest animal until it finally
had TO be killed for distemper. Or.
Schilling was appointed hangman.
First he tried strangulation by means
of ropes and pulleys, but the ropes
broke and the elephant remained in.
tact. Next he tried poisoning. The
animal was given fodder of fresh ba
nanas, which was devoured with a
relish. Then few bananas were
dipped in carbolic acid, but no amount
Of coaxing could make Fritz go" them.
Finally shooting was tried. The heav.
lest big game rifle was procured and
a shot was fired into the left arnpit.
The elephant merely looked around In
surprise, the bullet having flattened
against the shoulder blade Then n
Maxim gun was pulled up. A fusillade
of projeetiles was pumped into the big
beast under the right armpit. The ele
plant went down like house. In its
death struggle, which was studied by
many scientists, it broke all its chains
and reduced part of the iron fence In
the paddock to scrap iron.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1906-03-30
MOrdH In Use.

Ordinary well educated people use
from 1900 to 1000 words in conversa-
ton. Accurate thinkers and reasoners,
who avoid vague and general express
sions and wait till they find a word
that exactly fits their meaning, en-
ploy of oonTse larger stock; eloquent
speakers may even rise to a command
Of 10000. Shakespeare, who had
greater wealth of expression than any
other writer produced all his plays
with about $1,000 words. Millions
works are built up with 5000 and the
Old Testament contains 5,642.
Our language therefore is not, after
all, so formidable as it seems when we
hear of a dictionary of 100000 words.
Skeats' chronological Dictionary, which
Is limited to primary words chat Is to
say, it would explain luck, but not
lucky or unlucky or luckless), deals
with no more than 1900 and among
them are some really antiquated ones
which were hsed some centuries ago,
but are now TO be found in the diction
airy ly.-Blackwood's.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1906-03-30
SOIL IMPROVEMENT.
AeEAtion ana D1Se#sit-il = The Soil
TeenAe with BastG. iaI Life.
MEssRs. sQUI.E ana FlRGUsoN, vir-
's ginia.


On many farms crops have been
grown for years on land which has not
been cultivated beyond Il depth of four
to six inches The surface soil is in
measure worn cut and exhausted, but
the subsoil, which extends 10 unknown
depths, is practically as rich in fertiliz-
ing constituents as the surface soil in
the days when the primeval forest pro-
tected it. Therefore any means which
can be devised of reaching down and
bringing these hidden and unutiliZed
stores of wealth to the surface is u
matter of universal concern to the
farmer. This very desirable result can
be brought about by the successful
growth OF alfalfa, whose thousand roots
ramifying in every direction come in
contact with the lower soil areas and
by their vital action modify it and
bring supplies of plant food formerly
unavailable closer to the surface of the
ground to the ultimate benefit of both
plants and animals. The large and nu-
merous roots furnish through their de-
cay large quantities of nitrogen and hui
mus to the soil and open up channels
by which air may penetrate and so as
sist in oxidation and fermentation.
Marvellous Underground Laboratory.
Soil aeration and soil digestion consti-
tute a question which is neither cor
rectly understood nor appreciated, and
1t is in this way that alfalfa performs
one of its most valuable functions.
Moisture as 1t comes down in the form
Of rain is readily absorbed and held by
these soils until brought back to the
surface through the action of the roots
Of plants. In soils of this type air cir
culates freely and thus brings directly
to the bacteria living in the nodules the
nitrogen so essential for their nourish-
ment and rapid multiplication. The
free movement of air through the soil
aids fermentation. promotes the break
ing up and setting free of plant food
and the development of the myriad
forms of bacterial life which are now
recognized as vital to the welfare of
many farm crops. The soil Is generally
regarded as devoid of life, but there
never was a greater mistake made. 1t
is marvellous labOrato of bacterial
activity, and the development of these
bacteria depends largely on the supply
Of vegetable matter in the soil and Its
proper aeration.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1906-03-30
BUSY INSECT EATERS,
What One Days Hunting Brought to
a Brood of Pied WagtniIs


Brood of Pied WaStnils.
A close student OF bird life writes:
Conservation of sever i species of in
sectivorous birds has shown that the
parent birds will, when their family is
growing up. make between them in the
leighborhood of 90 visits TO the nest
n the course of day, carrying on
each occasion IL whole beak load Of
gnatS or spiders or larvae. For the
birds which feed on gnatS or other
small life generally take to their youn-
gest not single insects, but a whole
collection at time. On one occasion
l spent an hour i'll taking the record
OF Il pied wagtail which had its brood
of newly fiedged young ones in an old
disused punt that had settled down at
its mooringS into die mud at the side
of the pond. During the hour the male
bird alone was looking after the fami-
~ the female amused herself by run
ming about ON TIE bank catching in
secTs for her own consumption and
varying the occurati with long spells
of attention TO her toilet. The male
bird, Gil the other hand, never rested
for one minute from his work of bread
winning. AS his hunting ground was
the open surface of the pond, above
which he fitted, he was never out Of
my sight.
In the course of the hour he made
twenty-cight trips, the shortest absence
from the young lasting one and half
minutes and the longest nearly six
minutes. On no occasion did he remain
at the punt for more than fifteen Sec
onds or just long enough to turn over
the food collected on the last trip to
the proper youngster and be off again
Myriads of gnats were dancing above
the water, and ut each dip the bird
struck at one, but one could not see
whether he always caught his quarry
or not As far as it was possible to
guess he always did On his shortest
absence he made over forty shots, and
from that the number ran up to con.
siderably over POO.
Surprising that he missed his aim
half the time or afterward dropped or
swallowed the insects, so that half of
them were wasted and failed 10 reach
the family at home, there must have
been from 1900 to 1000 pnats brought
back 10 the punt in the course OF that
one hour. Later in the day both parent
birds were hawking simultaneously.
each returning methodically to the
young every two or three minutes.
What the gross consumption of insects
was in the course of the day it is i'm
possible to guess. but it can hardly
have been less than 10000 or $4,000
and was probably twice as many"
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1906-03-30
COURAGEOUS MRS. LOGAN.
Widow OF One Hero and Mother Of
Another, She Is a RenI Patriot

WIDOW OF One Hero and Mother of
Another, She Is a RenI Patriot,
Mrs. John y. Logan has the coura-
geous spirit which made her husband
tue late General Logan, one of the
most idolized heroes of the civil war.
For many years Mrs. Logan has been
conspicuous in patriotic work In mr.
suance of her labors in the field of ma.
trlotic education she was scheduled 70
deliver lecture at the State Normal
school in West Chester, Pa. a short
time ago. Just before the time for tbe
address she slipped while descending
stairway in the home of her host
and broke her left arm. The pain from
the fractured member was severe bnt
remembering the example of bravery
set her by her husband she disregarded
physical discomfort and went upon the
platform just as if nothing had ham
pened to disturb her composure. She
was heartily cheered for her courage
when the facts became known.
Mrs. Logan was Miss Mary S. Gun.
nlngham, and she was born in 1888 in
Peterboro, Mo. She is the daughter of
soldier and the granddaughter of a
soldier. In the civil war her husband
battled for the Union cause, and some
of her brothers and uncles fought in
the blue, others in the gray. When
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1906-03-30

Cold weather makes fat turkeys"
said the poulterer.
"Why?"
Because in a warm fall the ground
keeps soft. the vegetation fingers on and
the fields are full of worms and bugs.
What's the result? The result is that
the turkeys from sunrise till dark
tramp the tempting fields on long for
ages, eating the worms and bugs,
which thin them, and walking all their
soft and fine flesh into tough, stringy
muscle. \ cold fall. with early frosts
and SHOWS. freezes the ground and
kills the bugs. Then the turkeys are
not tempted to wander They loaf in
the farmyard. gorge an abundance of
grain and put on flesh ike Il middle
aged woman at Il seashore hotel. But
in warm fall, hunting the irresistible
bug. the Turkeys do their fifteen to
twenty mile; regularly and become ath-
.etes. For athletic turkeys there is no
public demand. "-Minneapolis Journal