davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-24

For he was quite toney doc {,
And loved to cut a swell.
The New York Press saws women
can have almost as much fun at
wedding as at funeral. Far more
They can turn it loose at a wedding.
A Pittsburgh millionaire, who died
recently left no chorus girl or
soubrette to mourn his loss. Seems
incredible, yet we are assured it is
true.
A Boston paper says that city is
becoming great lobster center, but
it does not state whether it refers to
the sea lobster or the fresh land
species.
Mr.. and Mrs. Mizner-late Yerkes
both declare it was love match,
an assertion Cupid may Indignantly
deny when it is brought to his at
tention.
The discovery of woman in the
moon strengthens rather than destroys
the theory that there is man up
there. If there was not, how long do
you imagine a woman would stay
there7
The company recently formed in
Paris to collect and sell the hair of
celebrities of every nation, may ask
our Uncle John Rockefeller to quote
prices on few tufts from his new
wig.
An exchange says: 'King Alfonso
| is to be married in June in the full of
the moon at high noon when the bees
Groom a sweet nuptial tune. "
Wouldn't that almost make you
swoon2
The heart -rending news comes from
New York that one of Mrs. Oerichs
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-24
6YZ
JAM ES
BARTON
ADAMS S
JINCLES and JESTS
The Lovers Providence
CoPYnIonT
1905 ~
lrr Nancy

They out for stroll in the moons silver light
The heavens studded with bright stars above;
Twas balmy and beautiful ideal night
For softening hearts and for nourishing love-
He begged for a kiss-such simple boom
But though she desired it, she him ''Nayl
They We discovered a up there in the moon,
And woman not keep secret, hey say
He begged and he pleaded for one little smack
But the modest young maiden was firm a rock;
The gossips could bind her to the rack
A sheol earth life talk
If they alone in we'll hidden spot
She told him, she might sing different tune
And grant him the coveted favor, but
While looking down of the IN oon.
But providence, bless her forever has played
hand in the game to help lovers along
And by her cute schemng enabled the maid
To right on the spot that different song.
By her power she caused a to arise
And sweep overhead with encouraging Groom
And push dark cloud 'twixt the pair he eyes
Of the watchful old up there n the moon.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-24

The surgeon operated on
A dude, and did it well,
For he was quite a toney doc
And loved to cut a swell.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-24

The marriage Of a man named
Damn to woman named Fules took
place at Bentonville. Ark, the other
day, aud the editor of the local paper
is now hiding out in the hills And
all because he thoughtlessly coupled
the names with hyphen in the head
ing to the marriage notice.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-24

there in the moon !
l*>*<*>*<*>*<+>+>+>+>+>+<+>
pet dogs is near death. 1t will be
simply terrible if she is compelled TO
go into mourning right in the height
of the gay winter seasonl
The marriage Of man named
Damn to woman named Fules took
place at Bentonville, Ark, the other
day aud the editor of the local paper
is now hiding out in the hills And
all because he thoughtlessly coupled
the names with hyphen in the head
ing to the marriage notice.
Tlfe nationally distinguished bride
and groom will experience no diff
Guilty in playing the ''been married
a long time game essayed by SO
many newly married couples at hotels
on their honeymoon. The guests will
accept it as convincing proof every
time they see Nick with his hat off
A distinguished lady back east de-
clares that man has lost power and
prestige in the eyes of woman, by
adopting inartistic and unbecoming
clothes. but she is away off her critic.
al base. Our power and prestige in
the eyes of the fair sex, 80 far as
clothes is concerned, lies only in the
pockets of our attire.
She never hankered fur no count
Or duke or marks toney;
She thought sich truck did not
amount
To shucks in matrimony
She WASH t never noways stuck
On nary furrin duffer,
But she was up to date an tux
Her daddy's auto chuffer.
The Georgia drummers have asked
the state Legislature to pass law
compelling hotel keepers to change
the bed sheets after guest has left
the house. What particular fellows
they must be. Recalls the story of
the far west landlord who said to
travelling man: Look ere, son! l
bet more'n two hundred fellers have
wiped on that towel an you're the
only one that's kicked about it,"
A scientist, who is telling how to
live hundred years, says: avoid
reading stories that end badly" No
such stories are ever written, good
sir In a lifetime that has passed
the half century mark this writer has
read hundreds of stories, and has yet
to get hold of one that does not end
'goodly" by the lovers being married
in the last chapter and forever there
after living happily together
A New York young wouan who
was called back to life after she was
supposed to be dead. has been telling
what she saw during her temporary
absence from the body. Among other
things she describes the place as being
vacant except for myriads OF souls,
and says she could "hardly make her
way because the souls bumped into
her So Perhaps she ran into a
bargain counter rush over there.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-24

The heart -rending news comes from
New York that one of Mrs. Oelrichs
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-24

The New York Press says women
can have almost as much fun at a
wedding as at funeral. Far more.
They can turn it loose at wedding.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-24

Tlfe nationally distinguished bride
and groom will experience no diff
Guilty in playing the ''been married
along time game essayed by so
many newly married couples at hotels
on their honeymoon. The guests will
accept it as convincing proof every
time they see Nick with his hat off
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
SETTLING WITH EXCITEMENT
Young China Wants Reform Old China
Adheres to Graft.

Pekin, Jan. 13. - Reports from the
South aud from the Yangtse valley re-
gon show the antiforeign sentiment
to be very strong. China undoubtedly
is in ferment of POLITICAL excitement.
but the movement is directed as much
against the government as against the
foreigners
The government is between two fires.
TIE young China party is clamoring
because reforms are being executed too
slowly, while the conservatives and the
officials, the latter having their per-
quisites threatened, are resisting all
efforts at reform.
In spite Of the protests in Northern
China, the foreign ministers have not
changed their minds for the withdrawal
of foreign troops from Chile province,
the only exception being the legation
2, ards. the ministers believing that
the Chinese government is both able
and determined TO protect foreigners in
the event of revolution.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
Shaw to Stay Another Year.

Chicago, Jan. ia dispatch to tie
Chronicle from Washington says: At
the meeting of the cabinet President
Roosevelt asked Secretary Shaw to re-
main at the head of the Treasury de-
partment until March 4, 1907, and
Mr.. Shaw agreed to do so. More than
a year age Mr.. Shaw let it be known
that he expected to retire from the
cabinet in February of this year. The
president did not understand that this
was the secretary's determination until
some unusual reference was made to It
a few weeks ago, and then he lost D
time in urging the secretary to remai a
in the cabinet for another year.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
COMBINE FOR COlONlZlNG.
Western Railroads Establish Bureau
for Handling Business.

Chicago, Jan 15.-General passenger
agents of Western lines, after three
DAYS OF almost continuous discussion,
have agreed upon plan for the organi-
cation of a general colonization bureau
to handle the details of the issuance Of
certificates and tickets for land and i'm
migration business.
Reports from those who attended the
Western Passenger Association meetings
during the debates on this proposition
indicate that there were some repre-
sentatives of railroads in the conference
who were in favor of abolishing the
privileges the colonization departments
have found 30 valuable in building up
communities along the railroads.
"We were fearful" said passenger
agent of one Western road, "that the
issuance of certificates would be abro-
gated and that every Western states
development would be materially affect
ed by the shutting off of the homeseek-
ers' colonization certificate provisions. y
According to one OF the passenger
agents, the bureau will handle the col
nnization business for all the roads in
the Western Passenger association, and
there will be no elimination in IT,
volume of business.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
PANACEA FOR INSURANCE.
Senator Dryden Has Bill That Would
Cure All Ills.

Washington, Jan. 16.- Senator Dry
den has revised his bill contemplating
government control of insurance, and
will reintroduce it in the .enate today.
He had followed very closely the in
vestigation being conducted by the
New York legislative committee, and
this has aided him in perfecting his
measure until now he expresses the
belief that it will correct practically all
insurance evils exposed by the New
York inquiry.
Publicity is the keynote of the bill,
and coupled with this are safeguards
for the detection of wrongdoing and the
punishment of those offending. 1t de-
fue, policies or insurance contracts as
instrumentalities of commerce, and pro-
vides for the regulation Of the business
through the medium of controller of
insurance and along the lines similar
to the control exercised over national
banks. The author says he believes
this will go far towards meeting the OBJ
lection of those who have questioned
the constitutional possibilities Of feder-
al reputation of insurance.
The senator says the bill has the in
dorsement of the president, administra-
ton officials, eminent constitutional
lawyers, in and out OF congress, and
others, who are familiar with its gen.
eral features, as coming nearer to meet
ing the demands Of the situation than
any of the other numerous pending
measures. Senator Dryden has long
been champion of federal regulation
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
OUR COMMERCE WITH FRANCE.
Balance Of Trade Against the United
States by Several Million.

Washington, Jan. l6-The total
commerce between the United States
and France, as shown by figures COM
piled by the Bureau of Statistics OF the
Department Of Commerce and Labor,
amounted in the fiscal year 1905 to
about $166, GOO, 900, of which $76, ,OOO,-
600 was the amount of the exports to
France, and $50, 100000 was the value
of the imports from that country.
France gets most of its provisions and
breadstuffs from her colonies, and ex-
ports mainly high grade manufactures
and wine.
The United States exported to France
nearly all the copper and the Gotten
used by that country, the total amount
of these two articles being about $4S,-
O1O, 600. Agricultural implements ex-
ported from the United States this year
were approximately $4,000, 900, against
$500, coo decade ago.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
SENATE TO TRY
CANAL D|GGERS
Try to Make Case Against Roosevelt
and His Aids.
Public May Hear Many Interesting
Things. As Every Scandal Will ee
Aired-Commission May Be Akol-
ished and Work Turned Over to
President.

Washington, Jan. 13.-While the
senate has labored to mask the truth,
the fact is that next Tuesday Theodore
Roosevelt, William II. Taft, Theodore
P. Shonts, John f. Stevens and, incl
dentally, John F. Wallace, are to be
arraigned and tried before the none too
impartial judges who constitute the
senate committee on interoceanic can.
ais.
The trial is to be called an investiga-
tion, but it means simply that every
supposed scandal, every petty criti-
cism. every report of friction between
officials, every story of an unearned
salary, every tale of discharged en-
ploye and every fleeting bit of gossip is
to be told in public, and from them all
the members of the committee expect
to get-possibly some Of them hope to
get-the basis for direct charge OF in
competence, or it may be of guilt.
There is not soul in Washington who
believes that anything will come of the
investigation save the knowledge al
ready held that some of the heads Of the
enterprise have had their chickering's
and their disagreements.
1t may be that in the course OF the
hearings the public may learn the real
reason for the resignation of Mr.. Wal
lace. 1t may learn whether or not
there was any truth in the reports of
friction between Mr.. Taft and Mr..
Shonts. 1t may learn whether or not
Poultney Bikelow drew the long bow,
but that anything substantial can come
from the investigation no one in bis
heart believes.
1t is understood that the greatest lat
itude will be given in the matter of
asking questions, and, if curiosity about
personal differences between officials
is to be considered one Of the chief
things which it is necessary satisfy,
the senate and the people may have
their fill of satisfaction.
The senate declares that President
Roosevelt practically challenged the
investigation and that it has been de-
cided not to deny him. There was
nothing for the president to do, appar-
emily, in the present condition of af-
fairs, except to "challenge' an inves-
tigation. There i, a feeling in Wash
ington that he took the course that he
did to win eventually the right to con-
duet the canal construction unhamper-
ed by a commission Of seven men.
Ii the result of the investigation
leads to the statutory abolition OF the
canal body. it may be that trouble and
rumors of trouble will disappear and
that the work will 90 forward, showing
that a strong hard is behind it.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
Plans an EIectricline.

Forest Grove-At the meeting OF the
Forest Grove city council last week,
State Senator +. w. Haines, in behalf
of the Forest Grove transportation COM
pany, a new organization, applied for a
25- year franchise for an electric railway
in Forest Grove, to run, from the South
ern Pacific depot to the business section
OF the city, about two miles. Accord
ing to the terms of the ordinance, the
new line must be begun in 90 days,
and completed in eight months. 1t is
to carry the United States mail, express
ard passengers. Senator Haines furn-
ishes electric light to Forest Grove
from his plant about IL miles distant,
and, it is understood, will furnish pow
er for the new road from his plant.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
BOXER COIN FOR COLLEGES.
Senator Piles, Of Washington, Will In
troduce Such a Bill

Senator Piles, of Washington, Will In
troduce Such Bill.
Seattle, WASH, Jan. 15.-United
States Senator s. II. Piles will intro
duce in congress a bill appropriating
the $40, 900, 900 paid this country by
China as damages in the Boxer upris-
ing to defray the expenses of Chinese
students to be educated in American
colleges. A part of this sum, it is pro-
posed, shall be expended in schools
conducted by Americans in China.
A bill prepared under the direction
of the faculty of the University OF
Washington has been forwarded to Sen
ator Piles, and the cooperation OF coast
educational institutions has been asked
in the campaign. Out of this move
ment, it is believed, will grow some
thing satisfactory to China, and result
ing in abandoning the boycott against
American goods.
The measure was agreed uopn at a
meeting of the faculty of the Universe
ty of Washington, with A. W. Bash,
promoter of the Canton Hankow and
other Chinese railroads, and an init
mate friend of many high Chinese Off
cials, and DR.. w. A. P. Martin, an ed
ucator long employed in Chinese
schools, who came West to welcome
the high commission just landed at San
Francisco. Mr.. Bash has been official
ly designated by President Roosevelt
and Secretary of State Root. MY. Bash
started the movement on the coast be-
cause he has been resident here, and
because he believes the Pacific Coast
states originating the movement would
strengthen the fight. For that reason
the cooperation of Oregon and Cali
fornia educators was asked.
Under the plan adopted here, the in
demnity money would be spent: First,
10 invite Chinese students to the Unit
ed States and provide for their educa-
tion in this country; second, to aid
worthy American colleges already es-
tablished in China; third, to provide
for helping Chinese students at the
American consulates in China.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
Russia Gets Help in Paris.

st. Petersburg, Jan. l5.-Confirmn-
tion has been received of the report
that ex- x-Minister Kokovsoff has been
partially su cessIul in his mission to
Paris. A credit of $50, ,000,O 900 has
been obtained from the French bankers,
with the assurance of an increase in the
amount, should it prove necessary to
maintain the stability of the rouble.
1t is explained, however, that the
credit is not in the nature of loan to
the Russian government, but is strictly
an operation between the State bank OF
Russia and the French banks.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
TRANSPORT SERVICE WEAK.
Fleets on Both Coasts Must Be Pre-
pared in Peace for War.


pared in Peace for War.
Washington, Jan. 16.-A remarkable
exposition of the fatal weakness OF the
army transport resources in case OF wal
is contained in paper prepared by the
general staff, transmitted by Secretary
Taft to Senator Gallinger, chairman OF
the Merchant Marine commission, in
charge of the shipping bill now pend
ing before the senate.
In the course of its work in prepar'
ing in time Of peace for war, the gene
raj staff has discovered that even the
present limited military force could not
be transported over the sea, in case OF
a war with foreign country, or to de-
fend our insular possessions, unless
there should be An immediate and great
increase in the number of American
steamships suitable for transport ser
vce.
1t is pointed out that foreign ship.
ping could not be drawn upon in
time of war because of the neutrality
laws, 80 that under present conditions
"the quick first blow, 30 very and in.
creasingly important, cannot be struck
at ALL" incidentally, the staff criti'
cises with the greatest freedom the con
ditions under which the first little
American army was transported to San
tiago to begin the Spanish-American
war.
This report will be presented to the
senate tomorrow by Senator Gallinger,
who will inform the War department,
that ships of the size and speed describ'
ed as most desirable for transports are
also ships of the size and speed equip
ped for several of the most important
mail lines provided for in the bill OF
the Merchant Marine commission,
which stipulates that ships receiving
subvention from the government shall
he held at the disposal of the govern
ment in time of war.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
Demand a Lower Rate.

Juneau, Alaska, Jan. l3. - At a
meeting attended by 35 Douglas City
shippers last night telegram was or
dered to be sent that no contract would
be signed with the two steamship COM
panies now doing business unless a rate
of 25 per cent less than the present rate
be granted. At present only three con-
tracts have been signed in juneau with
the two companies. All other shippers
were waiting for some move by Tacoma
or Portland. There is some agitation
to get Tacoma to pool the issue with
Portland.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
NFWS ITEMS OF GENERAL INTEREST
FROM THE STATE OF OREGON
AMEND IRRIGATION LAWS.
Irrigationists Say Conditions in Idaho
Are Better Than in Oregon.

lrrigationists Say Conditions in Idaho
Are Better Than in Oregon.
Salem-Prominen irrigators of Ore
gon are considering the advisability OF
asking the next legislature to amend the
irrigation laws in several particulars.
At the present time all the contracts
with the state for the reclamation OF
desert lands under the Carey act are
based upon the theory that the owners
OF the canals and bitches are entitled to
collect a perpetual annual rental from
the landholders. In Idaho the land
holders will eventually own and control
the canals, bitches, headgates, etc.
In the contract with the state OF
Idaho for the construction Of the Twin
Falls canal it is provided that COM
pany shall be formed among the land
owners on the basis of one share OF
stock for one share of water right, and
that within seven years the control OF
the canals, bitches, dams and headgates
shall pass to the corporation formed
among the water users. Previous to
the formation of this company and be-
fore the expiration of the seven years.
limit, the construction company Is en-
titled to collect annually not exceeding
80 cents an acre. The same theory Of
ownership prevails in all government
work.
All the contracts for the reclamation
of arid lands under the Carey act in
this state allow he construction COM
panies the right to collect 81 an acre
perpetually, the company agreeing to
keep the canals and bitches in repair.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
Buys Ranch in Gillian.

Condon-A. S. Hollen has purchased
be 860-acre ranch on Trail fork. Gill
liam county, belonging to j. w. Booth.
The transaction, which involves about
SIS, 900, is one of the most important
real estate transfers for some time here,
and gives Mr.. Hollen a most valuable
farm and stock ranch. In the deal Mr..
Booth takes residence property in Con-
don valued at about 5000, consisting
of several fae dwellings. Mr.. Hollen
is proprietor of the Condor FIGURING
mill. He will take possession Of the
ranch about March |.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
Favor Woolen Mills.

Albany - The business men OF the
city met and discussed the proposition
Of securing the new woolen mill for
this city. Judge Stewart, OF the stock
committee, withdrew from the active
work of soliciting subscriptions, and
Frank J. Miller was selected to fill the
vacancy and the committee will push
the work. The purpose of the ccm-
mittee is to secure subscriptions to the
stock aggregating SIS, 900 toward the
capital Of 800, 900, when the mill will
be built and fitted up. The business
men at the meeting were enthusiastic
in support of the project, and the spirit
manifested was in favor Of co operation
among the business interests OF the city
for the upbuilding of Albany and its
industries
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1906-01-18
Jews Have Been Duped.

Moscow, Russia, Jan. 16.-Wholesale
arrests are being made throughout Rug
4ia for the sole purpose of preventing
the victims registering in time to par
ticipate in the coming election for
members of the new Legislative assem-
bly,. Officials of the government are
resorting to tactics of intimidation to
compel the people 10 vote for "select-
ed candidates who will perpetuate the
old regime of absolutism. The Social
ists and labor leaders are being offered
enormous bribes to use their influence
in favor of certain candidates.