New-York tribune., 1906-06-20
NO HELP FOR IT.

NO HELP FOR 1T.
I saw Montaigne upon a stand;
He smiled a Gallo smile quite bland
might have stopped. But twas crime
To waste upon Monta1Sne a look
When I'd not read the latest book.
AS I sat waiting in a room
Oppressed with some ancestral gloom,
looked and loI In binding
BrooG0s sa% Sone in pi11Rg aaasv hece heo
Nay. friend! For me the latest book.
There's Shakespeare. Homer. Goethe too
And others-quite cultured crew.
They say their wit is fresh to-day
1t cannot be! By hook crook,
Why. L must read the latest book Life.
Here is whose sense of gratitude was
not misplaced. The Marchioness Isabella Lucini of
Pavia has left legacy of 5000 to a local comic
paper 10 which she was lifelong subscriber. Her
will also directed that 500 in addition should be
spent a sumptuous banquet to which the staff
of the paper should be entertained, "in recogni-
tion. the will textualy reads. "of the many
pleasant hours spent in perusing its humorous
columns
The NeW AIrivaLmHqrry: ;.nn now get into bed
You've Sald your hp prayers urged Elsles mamma
girl and she added: od bless Bridget and md make make
her good girl, so she'll stay whle."-PhIa-
dephia Press.
One of the curiosities of South Africa is the
"sneezeland" tree. No can cut 1t with a saw
without sneezing. the fine dust is very irritating
Even planning the wood will sometimes cause sneez-
ing. No insect or worm will touch it, it is very
bitter to the taste. and when placed in water it
sinks.
Laughter is ever near TO tears as this advertise
ment in The Excelsior Springs (AIo) CALI shows
You Will find at the amusement parlor with a
fine line OF funeral designs furnished on short no.
tce'
Amt you rather young to be left in charge CT
Perhaps so. ma'am; what can l DO for your
do your employers know it's dangerous to leave
II am competent to serve you. madam. If you viii
Don't they know you might poison some one?.
There is no danger Of that. madam; what
Il think had better go to the store down the
II can serve just well as they can. and
don't look right."-Houston Post
Spelling reformers should bear in mind the his
tory of asparagus which shows how even In the
days of dictionaries. word fashions change In the
eighteenth century. even in elegant usage the deli
cacy regularly called Sparrow grass" A die
tionary of 1891 that sparrow is now SO
general that asparagus has air OF stiffness
and pedantry.' "Sperage" had been the usual Eng
sh form in the sixteenth century but in the seven
teenth herbalists brought back the original Greek
and Latin spelling asparagus" Pepys varies be-
tween sparrow grass" "sparagus' and spar
ague" No doubt the eighteenth century relapse
was the last. and the "a is back for good now
There was a struggling writer in the front studio
and struggling artist In the back The Struggling
artist was very nice 10 the struggling writer Tor
time. He even helped her wash her Windou,s onca
Then II came about that one Friday he saw thai
fves. 'S''io
81 WISH" said ha. that you would lend ma ono
OF those hves. I'm hard up this week 7 Will 90
you back next" va" p@S
The struggling writer knew all about those ..,ax.
weeks OF struggling artists. ~ noAl
Il would, said she. but l am afraid will lose
friendship / Things lilsa
happened 10 me." s nave
He looked her sternly.
You'll lose IL If you DON'T said he and ser his
teeth hard "o' iis
well. anyway" returned shs. with a nigh .ru
save my dva"-WaSn 80