davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
SOcfaIiStic.

From the London Daily News
A young scion Of the aristocracy was
eager to master the methods of journal
ism, so entered a daily newspaper Office.
One of the tasks which the editor set
him was to compile an index for the con-
tents of eacn days paper for the use of
reference. He went on with his work
for some time. Then one evening a lead
er writer wanted some recent references
to speeches on socialism. Not a single
speech was indeXed. But whatever are
all these references under the heading
Socialism? asked the editor, TO whom
the matter was referred.
oh" said the young journalist, I've
entered all the balls. parties, and festiyi-
ties That's all Socialism. isn't it?"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
subsidies for Mail steamers.

The New York Chamber Of Commerce.
at a recent meeting, took issue with Sec
retary Roots recommendation, which
finds an echo in the Presidents message,
that subsidized freight steamers are
needed to develop our South American
trade. In a report from the committee
on foreign commerce, adopted by the
Chamber Of Commerce, it is stated that
there is no lack of regular freight trans
portation between the United States and
South American countries. Sixteen steam
ers a month. on an average. depart from
American ports for Brazilian and River
Plata ports, and competition has forced
freight rates TO a very low level. The
comnittee, in view Of these facts, arrives
at the conclusion that the question of
freight transportation Is not involved in
the consideration Of the development OF
our South American trade.
But the committee finds that mail COM
munication with South America is slow.
uncertain, and irregular, and expresses
the opinion that "the establishment of
such means of communication with the
countries OF South America should be en-
couraged by the payment of a liberal pos
tai subsidy This view is taken also by
Secretary Metcalf in his annual report, in
which he urges the establishment OF i'm
proved mail and passenger service be-
tween United States and South American
ports. Fast and regular mails. says the
Secretary. ARE a necessity of modern
commerce, yet II is a matter of record
that at times We must send our mails for
Brazil, Argentina. and Uruguay by way
of the ports of Europe and their superior
subsidized mail steamhips'
The attitude OF the New York Chamber
Of Commerce may be commended TO those
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
HARTMAN HAD NO CHOICE.
As Between Hearst and Hughes He
Preferred to Keep His Money.
From Golfers Weekly


From Golfers Weekly.
There is story, now 50 widely circu-
lated at the New York Republican head
quarters as 10 be no longer secret, con-
ceruing Mr. Harriman's attitude in the
recent campaign. During the Odell regime
the latter was a heavy contributor TO the
campaign fund During the recent cam
paign d representative Of the State com
mlttee went 10 Mr. HarTiman's Office for
a similar donation. Mr. Hartman re-
cefved him with truculence and treated
him with scorn. He would give no money
% the Republican party so long Gs MIR,
Roosevelt was the head of II. When re-
minded that the defeat Of Mr.. Hughes
would mean the triumph Of reckless
and dangerous radiCalisn, Mr Hartman
averred that he didn't care; he could con-
tinue 20 get what be wanted in his own
way. The exact conuOtatiOn of his own
way may be interpreted from certain
passages Of testimony in the Armstrong
insurance investigation.
Doubtless the opinion is correct that
legislator and judges who come 10 the
surface of a swirling whirlpool Of violence
are more susceptible 20 the inducements
which Mr.. Hartman offers for his own
way than men of character and sub
stance and Of tried capacity as TefOTmeTs.
who promise formally 10 do certain
definite things. During the last cam
paign a large portion Of Wall street
feared more the definite promises of bank
ing investigation and Brooklyn Rapid
Transit reform made by Mr Hughes than
the general threats made by Mr.. Hearst.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
LITERARY PRESS AGENT.
His Illuminating Experiences with
Certain SeIf-adyertising Authors.

Prom the Bookmsn.
I remember the case Of a certain emf
nent best selling novelist who some
times writes with a torch. He said TO
me. "Tn stand for anything you write
about me-" Nobly he kept his word He
was the center Of a perfect maelstr6m OF
I dissension, yet the hotter it grew the
more he liked H. When the IRE slum-
bered he poked it himself and kept It
( blazing
/ With this kind Of author the literary
press agent does his deadliest work. Then,
he forgets that a book IS a book he sim
/ ply knows that it is a thing to be waved
+ Ike a red flag In the face Of the public
/ I remember the case Of a certain author
who fairly drlps with publicity, who came
4 to me some time before one Of his very
successful books appeared and said:
/ This book is bound TO create great
/ fuss II believe he wrote il ID do that
very thing You will know what to 30
when that happens" WE'LL did IL. He
had asked all his friends 10 write letters
/ 20 the newspapers about il and they re-
sponded. Now the public does not kno"
/ that these letters are inspired, they
think that they represent part OF the
burning interest that the world IS taking
/ in the author and bis book. ] have helped
/ to create many such interests and Deen
called upon 20 show an intimate acquaint-
auce with things ranging all the WAY
/ from ancient history 10 Woman's rights
You can start these discussions win
! the merest trihe-the use Of toothpicks
\ in good society, or the ethics Of the use
Of the word damn at the right mOmen;
/ These red hot discussions have caused
lmany books To sell which otherwise
would slumber safely in 0bscurity.
! / have in mind an author who loved
publicity more than bread and meat. Al
his literary life he hungered for 1t, and
VIXEN It came IL was like an avalanche.
/ It would have swamped most men, but
F he rode IL supTemely. He is the type who
+ likes 20 take the public into his conf
dence concerning every thing he thinks
and believes. One day he asked me TO
write something about a group Of men.
But" ] replied. that is HbelH' scent
/ ing the familiar newspaper nightmare
That's all right" replied the author.
1T will stir things up. If they sue, it's
( good advertisement.
/ on another occasion he came 70 me
with a violent communication that he
wanted 10 let loose on the world.
What do you adviser he asked
II should not send it out" I replied.
Il have already sent II" he said
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
The student and the Professor.

From the Boston Herald
The scholarly William E ByeTly.
professor Of mathematics at Harvard.
was once asked by a student how to
develop a retentive memory. The pro-
fessOr answered that ordinary mental
exercise was sufficient 10 secure a good
memory, whereat the student asked If
he might test the mental capacity OF
his instructor. Prof Byerly agreed,
and the student asked him to listen to
and remember several varied items for
a test. He began:
"One quart Of whisky
I'm" said the professor
six pounds Of sugar, a pint Of sour
milk three onions, half a gallon OF
molasses, and two raw eggs
I'm said the professor
Two green apples. twenty-six pea
nuts, one and a half cucUmbers. and
four mince pies"
I'm" said the professor.
"A package of starch, sixty seven
cakes of yeast, and the skins OF seven
bananas Got that DOWN."
Yes answered DR.. Byerly.
How does it taste?" asked the
student.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
Imnortnnt Question.

From the Youths Companion
He was an inpecunious, seedy, out
at-the- elbows person, and the doctor.
when he prescribed for him. knew bet
ter than TO expect fee.
For the iniamed eyes" said the
benevolent physician. dissolve as
much boracic acid as you can put on
a ten-cent piece in half a glass Of
water"
Thank you, DOCTOR" murmured the
patient turning away. A moment later.
however, the Office door was opened
and the patient sidled in.
Say. doc" said he, with an ingrati-
ating smile where do I get the ten
cent pfece9r
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
Forgot the RnhN.

From the Cleveland Plain dealer.
young mother was walking with
her husband on the Atlantic City
Boardwalk Suddenly she gave a little
cry Of pleasure.
"Oh," she said, there is nurse
nurse wheeling baby
Ard then she ran lightly to the lux
urious coach Of leather, with its swan
shaped carriage and its rubber-tired
wheels and she pushed back the para
sol that shaded the occupant from the
sun Then she gave a great start
why. nurse" she cried. where S
baby?"
The nurse gasped- Goodness gra-
cious ma'am, / forgot to put him i'm
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
The DipIOmat.

From The Cleveland Plain Dealer
You say you want 10 marry my
daughter
Yes, sir"
"Of course you are aware that she
has many faults?"
NO. sir"
Her faults are countless. What do
you say to that?'
I've only 10 say. sir. that il her
faults were as many as the sands of
the sea they would be compensated for
by a single one of her possessions.
"Ah you mean her money"
Il mean her frank and amiable
father"
She's yours my boy
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
DARK OUTLOOK.

Mamma" asks the little boy, how can
Santa Claus get into our fat, when we
haven't any chimney-nothing but a
steam radiat0r?"
He viii probably slip in by the base
ment door, darling"
It's all off then" says the lad. with d
surprising vigor in the use of slang. THAT
ianitor viii put him out OF business be
fore he can unpack his sack"
WILBUR NESBITi
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
SensitINe.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
DO you ever talk politics to your
wife?"
Not now. I did at one time That
was before I ran for Office"
Defeated. eh?''
Il was not even an also ran"
Didn't blame your wife for that. did
you?"
mo. but 1 blamed her for continually
asking me why ! didn't vote a few
more times for myself"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
SHOPPING.


Now doth little wife go stopping
Through the slush;
And to do her Christmas shopping
Joins the crush.
In and out she's briskly popping
Through the doors.
One must visit, when ones shopping.
Lots Of stores.
Hub behind his brow is mopping
In a daze.
He will ne'er again go shopping.
SO he says.
In his arms the things keep dropping.
Drat the luck,
Hubby thinks wife out shopping
Needs a truck
Stopping. popping, never stopping.
See them go.
II is fun, this Christmas shopping,
Don't you know
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
Not worst.

From the Houston Post.
Tell men the worst" insisted the
man of the doctor who was treating
his mother-in-law.
There's no worst about it," replied
the doctor.
"Then she is going to recover"
No" replied the doctor, "she isn't"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
Decidedly Interesting.

From the Chicago Chronicle.
We have heard good deal during vari-
Gus national administrations Of the Execu-
utive assuming to give orders to the Sen
ate. Mr. Rayner it seems. means to re-
verse the process and have the Senate is
sue orders to the Executive. It viii be
interesting to observe the outcome of the
proceeding
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
Nothing Alarming In II.

From the PittsbuTg Dispatch
The assertion of the race alarmists that
the japanese are pouring into this country
at the rate OF a thousand per month
sounds very imposing If you can't stop TO
think. But take pencil and paper, set
down that n thousand a month means
1900 a year, and that it will take till the
end of the century to make a million of
them, and you may conclude that It is not
necessary to lie awake over the scare.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10

scientists Of medicine would examine q
new germ culture this Society for Psychi-
cal Research has set about examining
spiritualism. Prof. Hyslop has been ex-
amlning it for fifteen years. To-day.
knowing that the phenomena he has wit
messed have not been the result of fraud
for scientific accuracy has eliminated all
possibility Of this-he is bound TO admit
that there is some psychic force that as
yet cannot be accurately described. he
am those with him have been forced, as
a result OF their scientific observation. to
admit with Hamlet that: There are more
things in heaven and earth than
are dreamed Of in your philosophy"
II there Is anything in spiritualism, rid
icule will not kill it; if there are realms of
thought into which only those who are
called mediums" can penetrate, It Is
highly important that these should be In
vestigated by men OF science. so that the
good may be separated from the I'll, and
the truth be known. 1t is this work that
the Society for Psychical Research has set
out to do, and it is greatly TO be desired
that the funds necessary to carry on the
investigation shall be forthcoming.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
Kentucky's Senators.

When the Hon. Joseph Clay Stiles
Blackburn retires from the Senate next
March to give place 10 ii representa- tive
Of the new element of the Kentucky De
mocracy. there will terminate a lifetime
association with his colleague, the Hon.
John b. McCreary. The careers of no two
men now prominent in the public life Of
the country have been cast along lines
so nearly parallel as are those of Senators
Blackburn and McCreary. They We're born
in the same yedr-1S2S-were graduated in
the same class at Center CoIlege-in 1S57-
won distinction in the Confederate army,
and entered politics in their State about the
same time Senator Blackburn was q
member Of the Kentucky house of repre-
sentatives In ISL when Senator McCreary
was speaker Of that body. The former
came to Congress first in 1875. and that
same year Senator McCreary was elected
governor Of Kentucky. Soon after the
expiration of his term as governor Nj
McCreary was elected to Congress to sue
ceed the Hon. Philip B. Thompson In
the Republican landslide in the Bluegrass
State. which sent a Republican TO the
Senate to succeed Mr.. Blackburn, Mr.
McCreary was defeated for reelection to
the House While in temporary retire
ment they reorganiZed their party. and in
the next Senatorial elections each won a
seat. Mr.. McCreary's term in the Sen
ate will expire two years after Mr.
Blackburns, and thus their political ca
reers, started together a generation ago,
viii be brought to a close about the same
time
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
Perish the ThouEht.

Lower your voice" Kissed the basso
Some one approaches"
But the soprano, peeping from her bnu-
doir window, only shrieked the louder
Lower her voice. indeed
And have him climb up on it?
HOrrOrsi
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
RenEnurinR.

From the Indianapolis Star.
There is reinsurance in the fact that
Mr. Bryan does not commend all of the
Presidents message
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
lands for a Diplomatic Post.

Now that the joke about the Hon. Fred
Lands being a candidate for DOorkeeper
OF the next House Of Representatives ap-
pears 10 have about run It's course, the
discussion as to the future Of that dis
tinguished young Hoosier statesman.
who is limping around In the company Of
Gen. Grosvenor. Mai Lacey. and other
lame ducks OF renoWn. has taken a more
serious turn. His standing is so excellent
AT the White House that # is suggested
the President would not require much
urging to tender to Mr. Lands an i'm
portant post In the diplomatic service.
About the time his Congressional COM
mission expires next March, pretty gen
eral shift of our diplomatic representa-
tives IN Latin-America will be going on,
and il is stated that as Indiana has not
now what il regards as its proper quota
Of diplomats Mr.. Lands would III into
one of the posts in South America very
snugly. IF the defeated Congressman re-
ceives this recognition from the admins
tration. there viii remain only one of the
lands brothers in private life. He is a
doctor in Cincinnati. The family Will
then be represented in Congress, in the
insUlar service. on the Federal bench,
and In the diplomatic service-and all are
rendering Creditablc service.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
The Christmns Crush

"Yo0've been crying"
well. what would you DO if you were
jammed?"
"Oh, l s'pOse I'd jeIl."
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10

Mr.. Bryan views with alarm and points
with pride impartially. so far as the Pres
ident's message Is concerned
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
PASSING THOUGHTS.

Our sympathies go out to the man OF
the two hens In these days Of waning liberties
and fast-dis1ppearing rights it is sad To note the
heavy legal penalties attached 10 the unauthorized
ownership Of a couple Of industrious biddies. What
IS there dangerous, unheslthful, immoral in the
possession Of her or two hens, OF dozeng We
think the real cull-it in this grave matter Of mu-
nicipal morals has been overlooked. namely. the
rooster He is useless yagrant. ob5treperous, un-
productive. noisy, and generally offensive He ought
to be prohibited altogether. No respectable hen
should be called 10 account for his rowdyism his
bad nocturnal habits, and his heedlessness Of the
common right TO undistur0od sleep. This is an
age Of feminisn. Eliminate the rooster and let
every hcnTocst be an Adamless Eden.
To Col Henry Watterson: Good-by,
'Alarse Henry" Here's parting health TO you
and yours. Your good ship viii be weighted with
the love Of your comtymen. The affection Of the
newspaper world follows you. May the skies q
fair Spain be ever as bright as your own sunny
nature, No mischief viii be wrought by the Gray
Wolves Of the Senate in your absence. The Peo-
pies Lobby is guard. Issues that peTforce must
be settled viii be settled right The seat Dre-emuted
in the Bryan band wagon viii be kept for you.
Third Terulism IS forever tabooed. Take care Of
yourself good friend. Thousands Of hands are
honestly outstretcbed TO you to-day. God be with
ycU on your voyage, God be with you always, and
{
Congressman Smith, of Texas need not
Worry about Secretary Bonapartes trust opinions Of
seven years ago. Mr.. Bonaparte had certain views
about the advisability Of increasing the navy some
time hack. but they are different now. DO not
imagine 8ir Bouaparte will let his bygone opn-
ions stand in the way Of prosecuting the tIusts to
the limit He IS a statesman in the pro sess of
evolution. Just wait and watch him.
Scme one has invented an instrument
by the use Of which Congressman may si5 in his
committee room and hear everything that is being
said on the floor Of the House. However. it isn't
at all probable that Congress win ever pass a law
Compelling its use.
Senators were only slightly surprised to
note the flag the Senate chamber flying bottom
sdeup the other day. In tact. Il wouldn't surprise
the Senate very much to come down some day aud
see It's own picture turned toward the wall
Mr.. Fairbanks is said to be unanimously
IN favor of senator Cullonas bill 70 limit the pres
dental term Of service 10 six years He would see
no objection 70 q rstToactiye feature, either.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
SurEery.

They claim that by means OF modern
surgery bad boys may be rendered good.
III stick to the old-fashloned kind"
What's that?"
"Skinning en- alive"
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
nnr NLort VnIunhIe Congressmnn.

From the New York Sun.
The Hon John Wesley Gaines. Of Ten
nessee. is toe unselfsh. If Congressmcn
were paid according TO their industry
and activity he would get at least S75.OOt
a year.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
Soaring Ambition.

From the Louisville Courier-Journal
The lordship of the blue-back speller
has gone to the Presidents head and he
now wants TO be public school superin-
tendent in California.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
His Act omcla1Iy Approved.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Secretary Of the Treasury seems TO
have a high opinion of Leslie NJ. Shaw in
his official capacity,
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10

It now transpires that Senator-elect
Davis name is not Jefferson. but Jeffries
Perhaps that accounts for his pugiIistc
prOclivities. conversational as well as
otherwise
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
Nothing hut Trouble.

When lovely woman gets her rights,
Discards her hated thongs.
She'll have the time TO sit up nights
And think about her wrongs.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10

Berlin has a woman's club to which
only deaf members are admitted. Just
think Of woman's club where every
body can talk at the same time, and still
not be obliged to pay the slightest atten-
ton 10 any one else.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
PEOPLE OF NOTE.
As TO the senate,s Leader.

At this time Of the session Of Congress
look out for the story Of the change Of
leadership Of the Senate from the Hon
Nelson wiimarth Aldrich to the Hon
Eugene Hale. It has been the journalistic
fashion for the past two or three years
to start that story on its rounds during
the first week Of Congress. Near the close
Of the session, however. the fashion
changes, and then the enterprising jour
nalists begin 10 tcIl the Old tale Of the
masterful leadership Of Mr.. Aldrieh. The
fact is that Senator Hale does not want
the leadership Of the Senate. In point OF
experience and ability he is splendidly
equipped for it. but he has temperamental
qualities which cause him 10 recon from
certain duties OF leadership when crisis
IS reached It Is then that Senator Aldrich
steps to the front and proceeds 10 do
business. The railroad rate legislation Of
the last session is a case in point. The
Rhode Island statesman's hand was not
shown In that rumpus until the crisis was
reached. Then he seized the reins and
steered his party oul NJ its difficulties
even inducing the President to consent 20
a programme which the Executive had
not favored at the inception OF the fight.
Talking of SOutheFner,
Judge Alton b Parker's advocacy near-
ly a year ago Of a Southerner for the Dem
ocratic Presidential nomination in 1908
| seems to be just taking vigorous hold on
the minds Of the statesmen Of that faith
In Congress. While almost without ex-
cepti0n they are agreed that in the present
posture Of affairs William Jennings Bry-
an appears 10 be their destined leader
again, still they argue that the situation
may so change within the next year as to
make the nomination Of a Southerner ad-
yisable. In the discussion Of this pr0ba-
bility the name OF Senator Culberson, OF
Texas is heard more often than that Of
any other possible available man. He was
mentioned among others soon after Judge
Parker's speech started the talk OF "A
Southerner for the Democratic leadership.
but at that time his distinguished col
league, Senator Bailey. was also thought
20 be excellent material Texas politics is
now I'm such a ferment over the charges
brought against Senator Bailey by Attor-
ney General Davidson that IL is generally
agreed among Democrats IN Washington
that Mr.. Bailey is out Of consideration for
the highest honor Of their party. This
circumstance has added strength 10 the
Presidential prospects Of Mr.. CuIbersOn.
Already the most influential newspaper in
Texas has strongly advocated the nOmi aa-
ton Of Mr.. CuIberson. declaring that he
can get the Lone Star delegation to the
next national convention without oppost-
/ tion. The Senator himself refuses with
characteristic modesty and difidence. to
/ discuss the subject
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10

The average man is having the time Of
his life right now trying 10 square this
prosperity talk with the Christmas stock
fnuS
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10
None Like Hiua.

From the St Louis Dispatch
We have President without precedent
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10

we cannot find word to express our
approval of the Presidents remarks on
the subject Of lynching." says an en-
thusiastic Georgia contemporary. How
would bully" do?
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10

The Houston Post gravely asserts that
turkey sells for 8 cents pound in Texas.
We shudder to think of the statements
the Post might make I'm a hot political
campaign.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10

Why should Hall Caine worry about so
small literary light as Shakespeare?
At Gaines appearance, Shakespeare at
once became the light that failed.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10

The lame ducks are still disposed to dis
cuss the race problem, but not the one
you hear so much about
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10

II Gen. GrOsvenOr really refused TO
congratulate his successor, the general
evidently is developing a vein Of sarcasm.
The Washington herald., 1906-12-10

The Kansas City Journal refers 10 her
as Miss Anna Tarbell." Such is fame!