The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1906-11-09

my predecessor to confess the crime
Upon my honor, never owned Z
Ratchet in all my life. but 1T times
1Onged for an Ak
The first day I attended school !
got my mates into trouble The
teacher asked my name, and when /
got as far as George Washington
the boys sang with an accompaniment
Of feet and shoes:
First in peace!
First in war!
First in the hearts Of his
Countrymen!
Lum-te-tuml Bangi
I was not a bit to blame for the
outbreak, but the boys were down on
me because they were quelled, and
they made even by taking their re-
Fenge out Of my hide To make the
matter worse, made faces in school
9at the punished pupils, was detected
in the act and forced to stand with
my face to the wall for half an hour
Worse and worse, teacher sent me
home with a note stating that need
ed "a parental Teprimand." I got It
with a strap.
I was the living embodiment Of
truth, but neither teacher nor school
mates had any confidence in my word,
and, in spite Of my conscientious re-
gard for facts, headed their doubt
ful list and was set down for a chronic
liar. Al the neighbOTs united in the
same opinion, and that was enough
hered to veracity under provoking de-
famation.
To recall all the trials and tribula-
tons OF my school days would be too
much. The school visitors came
around at the end Of the term to ex-
anime the pupils and note their pro-
greSs The preacher was the inqui-
sitOr and he was jumping on history
who was the first president Of the
United States He blurted out:
George Washington Smith He had
no intention Of adding the Smith, but
it popped out Of itself.
When was older I was brought
into court as q witness. The attorney
for the defense made fun Of my name
and attempted to discredit my testi-
mOny, declaring that was the OppO-
site Of the father Of our country. To
increase my anger the judge smiled,
but got even with him when he ran
for governor Although he was on my
side OF the fence politically, ] voted
against him-and he was elected.
All through life I have tried to hide
behind my initials. Unless endeav-
or. II I wrote &C. w" the impertin-
ent inquiry would be, First name,
please" and as soon as 1 answered
George" the Washington would
be added by intuition.
Am I single2 Yes I never met q
young woman who took me seriously
AUOl INTRODUCTION. Inc ALEL XIII LOOK
fancy TO guyed me
WAS there much sIeighing the win
ter you stopped over at Valley
FOrge?"
What do you think of that? But
hit her hard when I came back with
in; there wasn't a single woman in
camp"
Her return was not bad for a red
headed girl: Martha, must have been
Wei, she got all that was coming
to her; she's the mother OF seven, her
husband is predispOsed to ease-fOT-
tunately for him she takes in board
ers- Takes in is good.
The next pert mink I met in So
ciety played smart on my name: q
have heard OF you frequently and
seen your monument"
I did met one woman who never
jOked about my name or doubted my
yeracfty, but couldn't bear her old
man.
I've been noticing for some time
that you have been waiting upon my
daughter" said he. 81 was about to
date apprehension Of his losing
member OF his family, but he cOntin-
ued: 7 haven't got anything agin
you only that was told that you had
no better use for your money than to
throw silver dollars across the POtO-
mac"
That was calculated to jar a man
working for 50 per week, and to be
mistaken for the original George
Washington was the worst yet, but
no worse than the remarks Of a sauce
box in skirts who, on hearing me say
that Of all things deplOred and exc
Grated it was profanity:
Il think that the language you used
to General Lee at the battle Of Non
mouth was perfectly dreadful"
One thing astonished me; it was q
constant surprise to learn how much
the women knew about revolutionary
history. They either were mighty
well read or studied up the days Of
16 so as to rally me on my unhappy
cOgnOmen. ] was no sooner on speak
ing terms with a girly graduate than
she inquired naively:
How did you and Benedict Arnold
get along, anyway"
I became infatuated with the next
young woman I met I believe to this
day but for an indiscretiOn Of her
tongue that she would not be at this
time single and writing Advice to
Mothers for a home page newspaper
syndicate We met at a function and
I was introduced as Mr. Smith and
the object OF my sudden alteration re-
marked, in the course Of a converse
ton about the phenomena OF human
nomenclature
IF I know the name OF a person I
can approximate their age for in
stance, Mr.. Smith, IL you will tell me
your name viii attempt to tell when
you were born"
George WashingtOn--' be-
gan
She interrupted: WAS it during his
first OF second term p
n Carmichael m d