The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-11-08
THE GRAND
He Is stn in the Ring With HIS
Schemes.


Schemes.
Major Crofoot was building a IRE in
the rusty old Office stove from the
fragments of q soap box when a umid
knock at the door caused him to sus-
pend operations. While he waited in
suspense the knock was repeated. h
major is up on knocks, and after a
moment he decided that no creditor on
earth ever knocked in that timid, hesi-
tating way He therefore called u 8
come IN and a young lady about tWen-
ty years old opened the door and beg
ged his pardon for the intrusion.
THE fact IS" she explained as soon
as she had reached the middle of the
room, Il am engaged in a work OF
charity. and was told by the dentist
upstairs that You would probably assist
me-
AS the major had been owing the
dentist upstairs a bill for the last three
years, and as the dentist had threat
ened to lick him only the week before
IL he didn't come down, there seemed
to be a mixup somewhere, but the man
Of many schemes smiled and offered
his hand II replied:
MY dear young lady, I am glad to
see YOU. If I can forward your char1t-
able work in any n you have
only to command"
THAT sskind of you" she said as
she took h broken backed chai he
pointed out. The society I belong to
is engaged in supplying crippled chill
dren with crutches and other appli-
ances. n I q ssure you that we
are doing much good. We bought
thirty clutches last month
1T is a grand work. noble york
a work we'll worthy of you. and you
can coun on my help. Do you meet
with much success in your canvass
ing?"
"Only moderate, sir"
It presume so. The fact is. that as
a people we are growing heard heart
ed. Only yesterday, as I stood on the
corner,=a lame boy made his way past
me With painful fort Ny eyes filed
with tears at the sight, but several.
other men made sport of his affection.
Just how much have o collected this
morning, please?'
Three dollars, I believe. I a
only been out an hour
"If [ should give you a check for
five hundred" said the major as he
scratched his ear and looked around
the room="if I should give o a
check for five hundred
"Oh. sir. but how liberal-how very
LIBERAL" exclaimed he caller as h
rose up in her excitement.
We'll. tina is my way of doing bust
ness. Did the dentist mention to o
that I had promoted seventeen sue
cessful corporations n trusts, each
one capitalized for more than three
million dollars?1
III don't think so"
He probably forgot to. as he is q
very busy man. Seventeen different
schemes, my dear. and all OF them
making more than ten per cent for the
stockholders. I am just now putting
the eighteenth afoat-the last and
best of all. As you knocked on the
door / was wondering where l u
find a young lady to lake the secre-
taryship at a salary Of $4,000 a year.
NN-~
but I couldn't take a place in an
office. you know" she protested. I
live at home, n my papa would not
permit it,
He surely viii when he under-
stands matters. As secretary, 0
would not have to appear at the Office
at all. All your work would be done
by others. Once a month you ride
in your carriage and get your cneck
and bank it. You can continue your
YOUR opportunities for discovering
crippled children viii be greatly en-
hanced."
II might talk with YOU later or
send papa down.
not a minute. my ear Don't wait to
send papa down, but close with me at
once. A person who hnds a hill or
solid gold should mot walk away ana
let some one else pre-empt the claim
There may be one hundre applica-
lions for the place before SHUTDOWN"
But what is it,
THE biggest scheme ever launched in
thie world. tt Will be the sensation of
the century. [ was offered five million
| dollars for the idea as soon as 1t came
out, but I wouldn't look at the price.
Let me say to you, my dear girl, that l
have originated and Launched the GfeaE
American Pie-Crust company. capital
one million dollars, and divided into
shares Of one hundred dollars each
You are a woman. AS a woman you
realize how difficult it is to makes good
/ D~fe-crust. The pie, itself can be made
/ most any old way, but it IS positively
necessary that the crust be all right.
We nave the machinery and the eX-
perience to make them all right. Every
crust warranted to be haky and brit
tie and to please the most fastidfous
palate. No Jumps in them. No foreign
substances. No pie-eater IS startled at
discovering a piece of bicycle tire IN our
crust. King Edward orders one thou
sand per week as a starter. As soon as
things quiet down in Russia the czar
win order twice that number. Pue up
in air-tight tin boxes, and every box
contains u crusts. Price, % cents
eBut l don't think began the
young lady as the major paused for
But you must think. my dear girl.
If you let this golden opportunity pass
it will never come again. The clear
profit on every box is Is cents. We
snail sell q DlltlOn DOACS d year NJ
more family quarrels on account of pie
crusts. No more driving husbands TO
drink. No more divorces. The husband
deyours one pie and smacks his llps
for more. All the great actresses of the
day are ready to certify that they can't
go to bed at night without eating a pie
with one OF our crusts. Great fnanciers,
ministers of the gospel. heads or trusts.
and SO forth. are going to draw further
fame from our boxes. Twelve in a box.
and warranted to keep for II years in
any climate The mex expedition to
Il think We will dispose of the other
matter first said the young lady as
she arose.