The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1906-05-10
PITCHER HIT
FOR HALF OF HIS coin
9ube WaddeIl Appears in De,
Sertion Court and Makes
Agreement.
his WIFE AT THE BAT
Me Says She Is the Short Memoried
One and Left Him Out in
the Blizzard Pen
ni!ess.
Ills WIFE AT THE BAT

Philadelphia, Pa, May 9.-"There1l
De heefsteak on the plate Of MIS-.
"Rube" Waddeii, wife of the baseball
pitcher, his sdmrner, the same being
provided in liberal quantities by her
open-hearted and generous husband.
For the noble youth appeared in the
desprtion court and agreed to give the
oft-forgotten and furnishing woman the
price of 1000 bags of fresh roasted
peanuts.
'Rube" was in signing and melanA
choly mood. Not because he mourned
81, 200 yearly salary. Nay, nay!
"Rube" sighed for love, because his
tender, trusting nature had been tram
pied on, because it had been stated
by frivolous persons thai he was care
less of his marital obligations. And
he grieved also because the euvenomed
press had printed that he a attempt
ed TO v~ivisect the father of one of his
wives with an ak, when the fact was
that he had merely tried to biff him
with Il fatiron.
She Held the Bundle.
Put my wife on a peanut diet!'
cried the fond husband. Nothing OF
the sort Nv always told her to &c
the limit on food. Maybe, the limit
was held pretty close, but that was
because I was saving. l put by $1,000
of my ~hard-earned wages last summer
to tide us over the SNOWFALL period.
and what happened?
My wife held the bundle. She was
the family banker, ard when the base
ball season closed she departed for her
ancestral manor at Peabody, Mass.
and forgot to hand me my share.
1T was Mrs. Waddell who suffered
from failing memory, not l. Instead
OF me leaving her III hook in hotels.
she left me on the mercy of the cold
1r5 ho,ytlacc unrlS without n hotel IN
$50 in hook to. She blew those $1,2OO
Sor lingerie and gew-gaws for the
ldornment Of her person.
Washed His One Pair.
1T had to wash my one pair of socks
in a wash BOWL when 1 could borrow
the bowl, and 81 to bed whenever I
sent my shirt to the laundry. Never
will I forget thai terrible winter. 1t
was love alone that kept me from
perislling. With all her faults, l am
still hers truly.
Mrs. Waddell recovered her lost
ero early in the spring. She was
the first person my eyes beheld on the
first salary day, and she has been my
porous plaster ever since. l don't mind
her blowing last years savings. Here
is where I have a kick coming.
After spending the 1000 and leaving
me out in the blizzard all winter, she
cornes back with the return of the pay
Gay season ana waits lie 10 Sd.S w
another wad. NiXey, and, also, nit,
for mine. Nothing doing. Hubby mus
have a dip in, or he doesn't ave.
My company wasn't good enough for
her last winter. and now the Connubial
Felicity business is strictly on the blink.
But. mind you l still love her fondly.'
Real Married Happiness.
Rube heaved q f~athom-deep sigh and
hung another coffin nail TO the film on
the under side of his upper lip.
This love in Il furnished room is q
funny thing" he continued. 4 never
knew what real happiness was until
got married. / know now. 1t means
getting a run for your zone I'm get.
ting mine all right. Maybe they keep
me too busy running to find u all
about it,
The pensive pitcher was called to the
bar Of the court. and produced Il con
tract showing that he receives only
81, 200 yearly for his toll. He agreed
to give Mrs. Waddell One-half of the
proceeds of the sweat of his brow, AND
was told to depart in peace.
Say" sighed Rube, as he ignited
another torch, eff I didn't love her sc
muc', I would almost wish that she
would jump to the outlaw league"