The Washington times., 1906-01-21
"CyHthia, Cynthia,
i'Ue Been THINKING.
4 Series of Humorous
Sermons

AVE you ever heard about that
IL business man who in advertising
his particular brand of break
fast fodder increased the circu-
lation of the paper in which he adVer-
Used a hundred-fold2
Wei. il was this way. His name was
Wise. and he had unlimited money TO
spend He had formerly owned a saw
mill and he naturally had a large guam
tity of sawdusU on hand. IL struck him
that if he could buy a lOw-priced mo-
Iasses. and could make an amalgam OF
ruoIasses and Sawdust and advertise it
Is the only nutritious food. good alike
for brain. Drawn. cuticle and hair. ne
could make a fortune in a month or two
So he called in an advertising man,
and put him on a prinCely salary at
once and said:
Go ahead. Advertise Sord Ust in any
way YOU like. as long as you get thF
peoples attention
Now. the advertising man was a
genius. and he said to himself: If I ad-
vertise this thing a little in every paper
people will only think a little of it. but
if I bend all my energies on one paper,
and that a very important one. and ad-
vertise II there uniquely for a month or
so. the very oddity of the thing will at
tract attention
SO he went 10 the Office OF the Daily
Howler and said:
Il want to buy every page in your
paper for advertising purposes"
And the business manager told him il
couldn't be done.
So the advertising man showed him
wnat a large check he could write, and
then the business manager said it was
possible, and the next day Mr.. Man had
every page in the Daily HOwier. There
was not ii murder not bit of editorial
speculation, not a thing of any sort in
the paper. except the name and the date
and the subscription price,
And of course there was no adver-
tisement And that piqued curiosity
Well, this thing happened next day
and the next, and then on the editorial
riage was printed in very small letters
TRY soRD UsT.
Now you may we'll believe that sub
scribers began TO rush in. for here Wa.
a paper that could be introduced int,
the most bigOted home in the land
There was no tiresome politics i'm it; n
dreadful murders; nothing but Sort
Ust.
Every one said it was the Cleanes
paper that had ever been issued. an'
more and more people subscribed TO il
1t got to be quite d fad. To be sure
the subscribers did not know what Wa
gring on in the world except by hear
say, but they had that much more tim
for other things, and they We're, con
seQuently, far happier, and, reading
about no murders or steamship trust
or Presidential possibilities, they final
ly came to the conclusion that the NH
lentiium was at hand
But, of course, the thing that mad
the most impression on them was thi
Sord Ust. They began to inquire 70
il in the stores and they found that IA
ore kept it, No one had ever heard o
Il. 1t was impossible TO buy box o
IT anywhere because the clever adver
Using man had given orders TO his en-
pioyer TO refuse to sell IL for at leas
six months
People did not even know whether
vas a new kind of soap or a breakfas
food. or the latest thing in stove polish
What was the result? Why, peopI
we've mad to get it. They would hav
it, The very idea that in a free countr
they were not allowed 20 buy anythin
they wanted. Was this Maine with
prohbitive law on something the peopl
really wanted?
AnG all this time the editor of tn
Daily Howler kept on increasing II