davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-10
They Always Escape.

Once upon a time a free-bo tax
payer who could not be satisfied to let
we'll enough alone by paying his taxes
and letting other folks divvy on the
stealings. went to the Alderman Of his
ward and said:
..REysdear sir, am come to ask you
a question that has caused me several
sIeepIess nights, and I hope you viii
have no hesitation in answering"
did you ever know an Alderman to
hesitate at anything" was asked in
reply
seThe question. sir. is this: How is
it possible for an Alderman in receipt
of a salary of not more than $500 per
year. to accumulate at least 100000
worth of riches in the space of I'VE
Meaning that I have done that
same %
.'Prithee, it is so.
'fThere are various ways. my friend,
such as buying stock in an airship or
cornering the catnip market, but to be
plain with you, 1 owe my advancement
to the death of my aunt. She died and
left me all she had, and here IN my
desk are the written proofs
Truly, but I am disappointed, said
the taxpayer, as he turned away.
believed thatI was on a hot trail. ana
that we should have another case for
Hughes TO Investigate. / beg your par
don and will now take my departure.
Moral (if any be needed; III ne
had asked me how much my aunt Ae1t
me I should have been UP tree,
smiled the alderman, as he rubbed his
hands together and felt the biandness
of integrity stealing over him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-10

that they have gone out to look for
and slaughter members of the Trust.
and, failing to find them, have licked
every red-headed man they could ind
on the streets. In this case while I
was Waitin' for the tears, the mayor got
up and cheered for the Trust, and
called for three groans for the wilder
and children.
The second picture was that of
poor old man dyin by the roadside in
a snOWstoPm. I explained that he had
formerly owned a pickle factory en-
ployin' twenty hands, and had paid
good wages. but that one day the agent
OF a trust had come along and given
him his choice of either comm into the
fold or being frozen out. The old man
had refused to come in. The Pickle
Trust had then not only dropped the
price of ten pickles for a cent, but had
begun the manufacture and sale of
them from cornstalks, and in one short
year had ruined him, I was goin' on to
ask if such things could be when the
mayor rose up and eheered for the
Pickle Trust and said he hoped the
old man suffered as much as possible
before he died.
In hopes still to turn the tide and to
hear the thumps of failin' tears I
brought forward the picture of the con
sHmptive mechanic dyin' for the want
of a small lump of ice. The Ice Trust
man had refused to leave him even an
ounce unless paid for fnseold cash
have known this picture to bring so
many tears and sObs that the street
cars out doors had to stop temporarily
Men have stood up in the audience
and with tears streamin' down their
cheeks taken a solemn vow never to
drink another mint julep until the Ice
Trust was roastin' in you know where.
I looked for something of the kind in
this case, but I looked in vain. On the
contrary, the mayor stood up and
swung his hat. and cheered for the ice
man and groaned for the dyin' me-
chanic
now decided that it was time for
me to pack my baggage and leave the
town Of Bless Our Homes far away:
but the people were not through with
me yet. The mayor called attenshun to
the fact that I seemed to be down on
Trusts, and lacked confidence in the
integrity of my feller-man. and that 7
hadn't ought to be allowed to depart
without a demonstrashun of enthusf-
asm on their part. I wasn't t. They
took me out and rode me around on a
rail. They smashed most of my pic
lures. They damaged my wagon and
abused my old boss, and when at last
I was escorted to the town line and told
to evapOrate I was a financial wreck,
and could skassly say to myself:
Integrity allus pays 100 per cent.
in the end, but sometimes it's mighty
bumpy road to traveL''-(C Copyright,
1906. by X. NJ. Whitehead.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-10

Only here and there one whispered to
himself:
There is his horse. but where is the
rider2 I knew how it would be-
Parties were sent cut who kent close
together like children in the night
and covered a distance of a hundred
miles They came back blistered. gaunt
and haggard. What could they have
expected to find? A track. made in the
sands of the desert may be obIiterated
in seconds, or it may last moments. A
stir of air, and it is gone, and a blood
hound would find no scent. A human
victim of heat and hunger and thirst
and loneliness crawIs. under one of the
ugly cactus plants to die. There We're
thousands of them growing in the
sandy soil. Under which was the colo
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-10

and examined. Attempts were made
to clean it with a wet rag and a stick
and the pendulum and hands were TAX
en- off to coax it to run. When it had
been fooled with for an hour it was
decided that only the clock-malSer
could tell what was the matter with
it, and it was tied uD and HumpS
started along with it. Joe Saunders
had told him that Captain Kidd and
Buffalo Bill got their first start in life
by CARRYING a clock along the streets
and when he boarded a trolley car he
felt himself quite hero He sat down
between a red-faced butcher who had
fatherlY smile on his face, and
hatehet-faced man with a mole on his
chin and a scoWl between his eyes. and
he was looking on the floor in the
hope of finding a cent when the
butcher said:
Wen. sonny, are you going on an
errand for your mother2"
cleaned"
II see You are not drinking,
swearing boy, are you?"
"I'n BET he is" said the hatchet-
regular hoodlum."
you shouldn't say that. my friend"
observed the butcher.
7 am sure he's no tough. and your
words hurt his feelings. Don't you
mind what he says. sonny"
What does the boy say he has IN
QGE MS arm there asked an ola man
with long whiskers as he bent forward.
At that instant the clock gave a long
BURR and began striking. Humpy
hung on to it the best he knew how
but it went on striking until it had
struck thiTty-one times.
"Bless my SOUL" exclaimed the old
man.
what on earth does that boy bring
a clock into this car for!" shouted the
hatchetfaced man. 'eThat is, is it a
clock or one of those bombs made by
anarchists to explode and kill score
of people?"
Don't squeaI before you are hurt =
replied the butcher. The boy says it s
a clock, and I'm going to take his word
for it. He has got a legal right to
bring a clock into a car Don't you get
scared, bub. I'm right behind you"
He may have a legal right to bring
a clock into a street car" said the old
man, as leaned farther forward, "but
has the clock q legal right to strike and
scare everybody half to death That is
the question before the house ?"
IT say the boy and his old clock
should be put out?" shouted the hatch
et-faced man. Three times this week
have been almost run over by those
internal autos. and I'm not going to
take any chance in a street car
You see" began the butcher, but
before he could get any farther the
clock began striking again. and this
time the sding-dong- went UP to forty.
whats the matter here? demand
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-10

it to be cleaned. He is going to ride
just as far as he wants to-
wen see about that" exclaimed
the hatchet-faced man. 81 want you
to understand. sir. that I'm a person OF
some consequence in this vicinity. [
was selling tea in this town at sixty
cents q pound before you We're born"
and While I don't want to boast
added the old man, you might just as
we'll be told that I put UP the first
saWrnill in this county Yes sir the
the courts to decide would suggest
thatsthe boy be arrested and bailed out
uuJil the Judges have time to pass upon
the merits of the case.
FumpY began TO cry, and SIS If SYM
pathizing with him the clock went to
striking again.
Two hundred ding dongs." said the
fat man, as the last stroke died away.
IF YOU want my opinion I viii say
NO one wants your opinion inter-
rupte1 the butcher.
Yes, we do
mo we don't
The conductor had been watching
the racket and wondering whether he
had better interfere. He now entered
the car. and addressing the Ratchet
faced man, asked
What is it about a clock? Who's
F~ot clock What has the clock been
doing2'
Its that boy. there. That young an
archist who wants to wreck the car
and slaughter every one in it," shouted
the old man..
He's an old crank, and don't you
pay any attention to hint" shouted the
butcher in a voice equall.- as loud.
''Rut 1 can't have no quarreling
here continued the conductor If the
boy has got clock
''But where is the boy?" demanded
the fat man.
Humpy had skipped out He had left
his clock on the seat and taken a
skate and the conductor picked the
f--aea loco to s. IN
lost property Office and the butcher aud
all the rest sat down TO saw wood and
keep quiet
''WeiI did you get the clock down
there aIl rigiata., asked Mrs. skinner
when FIurnpy came sneaking in.
s'I cannot tell a lie, mother" he re
piled. "A pirate came along and robbed
too, and=and='
And then he got what was coming 10
him Copyright. 1906, by c. J. Hirt)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-10
WHAT YE GOT IN THAT PACK
AGE

ed a fat man as he rose from his seat
near the front door and walked down
the aisle
Il say that no boy has a right to
bring "a 81; clock into into street carr
And I say that he has!" roared the
butcher.
it is a question for the courts to de-
eide. We should make test case of
it. I'm not ag'in the boy but should
he bob around and make his old clock
strike thirty or forty times %
''This is a grave question. and we
should proceed slowly and carefully, -
said the fat man. as he put on a seri-
Gus look. The question is"
Humpy ioggled the clock again and
il got mad and struck back for a long
minute. While it was striking three
women got scared and motioned to the
conductor to let them off. Humpy
wanted to get up and flee too, but the
butcher laid a hand on his shoulder
ami said:
81 don't care a Hamburg steak what
the question is. This boy has got a
clock here. His mother sent him with
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-10
THE SKINNER BOY.
He starts With a Clock to the Jewellers
for Repairs.

'.Humpy." said Mrs. Skinner to her
SON the other morning, Il want you
to take the kitchen clock down to the
jewelers. and have it cleaned. It hasn't
kept time for the last three months.
"Rut everybody will know I'm carry
ing a clock" protested Humpy.
Suppose they do ?"
"Tn give Jimmy Bates two cents to
take it down.
you'll do nothing of the kind. I
will wrap it up in a newspaper and
you'll march right along with it. You
didn't make fuss when you carried
a lug to the grocery the other day
"But I was after 'Iasses. and l had
two or three swigs before i got home.
Besides. a jug don't strike What would
I do if that clock began to strike while
I was on the street carr
s'Tu begin to strike if you don't set
along You have been aching for a
good tanning for the last month, and
II you amt careful you'll get it. [
don't want castors put under the clock,
and I don't want an angel painted on
the door. want it cleaned
Humpy took the package under his
arm and started out in a fit of sulks.
At the corner he met Joe Sanders,
and Joe asked:
ssWhat we got in that package? %
"A clock
"A regular clock ?"
ssOf course. I'm taking it down to
be cleaned
THAT'S great Let's go into the alley
and look at it. I believe we can clean
it ourselves IF we can your mother
will think we are two smart boys and
mebbe give US money to buy a cocoa
NUT
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-02-10
PILGRIM JOE.
Adventures Await Him Here and
There.

I wish to impress upon the public
mind in the most vigorous manner that
there is no trust connected with my
Pilgrim Pain AIeviator and Moving
is my own. There are no shares for
sale.
L am the original and sole inventor
of the Alleviator. Various Trusts have
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08
Turn Your Face
into Dollars
Many a Man Has Failed Because
His Face Was a Picture
of Calamity

1t takes sunshine TO produce rose, a
perfect rose And so man. to be success
full, must have sunshine inside The life
which has it not, which has no health
and no happiness Is sour, surly, pessi-
mistic and a failure The world all
breathe iIl-will and strife. The world
wants joy, comfort, sunshine, and will
cling TO the man who has it, who radlates
gladness and triumph wherever he is and
under all circumstances.
Some people have genius for seek
ing out the disagreeable, the crooked,
the bad and the ugly These are the de-
together for they love their kind, and the
cheerful part of the world will have
nothing to do with them
And why is it that so many peddle
disaster knowing at the same time that
if they do, their lives will be ruined?
Some people cannot help it. for pessim-
ism usually comes from bodily disorders,
and this cannot always be prevented.
The stomach, for instance. is the most
common cause of discomfort. sour face,
recklessness, disgust and lack of ambit-
ION. A bad stomach,-there is the secret
of many a failure. Anyone can, have a
good stomach, a strong stomach, a stom-
ach that can take care of anything and
everything that is put into it. no matter
NHebucT II u ii very bdu StViHdSu l1On VI
not Then why not have it?
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets do this
very thing. One Ingredient of these lit
tie tablets digests 5000 grains of food,
and no matter how bad is your dyspep-
sia or indigestion, these tablets will di-
gest everything in your stomach, thor
oughly and completely, and better and
quicker than healthy stomach can do
the same thing. Stnart's Dyspepsia
Tablets will cure quickly loss of appe-
tite. brash, irritation, burning sensations
nausea. heartburn, eructations. loss of
vim and spirit, bad memory. and dyspep-
sia and indigestion in their very worst
forms.
No other little tablets in the world can
do so much. You should carry Stuart's
Dyspepsia Tablets around with you
whevere you go and take them after
meals Then only will you realize wha,
it is TO enjoy meal, and what perfect
digestion means Your whole body and
your miEd will feel the effects; your vim
will increase, you viii be more satisfied
with what the world does You will think
happier and be happier aud your face
will be one of supreme contentment
That viii bring You success and then
more success. Your face viii bring you
dollars. Try it. It will cost you just
SOC. for package of these wonderful
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets, at any drug
store on earth.
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08

From the same Board -
Transmitting resolution passed by
said Board September u. 1906, and APP
proved by the Mayor September 10.
1905
RESOLVED, That the Board Of Finance
hereby concurs in the following resolu-
ton, adopted by the Board of Street
and Water Commissioners, August 13,
1906, as follows, 10 witt
Ordering paid the following claims
$17.40 to The Observer, claim No. 35S
$40 to Evening Journal Association.
claim No. 1107.
$17.40 to Jersey City News, claim 40.
1884.
Charge Repairs to Asphalt Pavements.
From the same Board
Transmitting resolution passed by
said Board September u, 1906, and ap-
proved by the Mayor September Is. 1906:
Resolved, That the Board of Finance
hereby concurs in the following resolu-
ton, adopted by the Board of Street
and Water Commissioners August Is.
1906, as follows. to Wit
$35S to John Muldoon, claim No. 561.
$3.50 to John Muldoon. claim No. 572.
$572 to John Muldoon, claim No 571.
$2.75 to John Muldoon, claim No. 563.
SIC to ]. G. Supply CO.. claim No.
1880
Charge Special Street Account, April,
May ana Julyt LJVOs supplies.
From the same Board -
Transmitting resolution passed by
said Board September II, 1906, and ap-
proved by the Mayor September 15.
1906
Resolved, That the Board of Finance
hereby concurs in the following resolu-
ton, adopted by the Board of Street
and Water Commissioners August IS.
1906. as follows to wit
Ordering paid the following claim
$50 to Matthew Mcintyre claim No.
526
Charge RepayiDg Van Worst street.
From the same Board
Transmitting resolution passed by
said Board September 12, 1906, and APP
proved by the Mayor September Is.
1nf{.-.
Resolved, That the Board Of Finance
hereby concurs in the following resolu-
ton, adopted by the Board of Street
and Water Commissioners August Is,
1906. as follows. to wit
Ordering paid the following claim:
$291,66 to Martin F. Quinn. claim No.
~.
Charge Municipal Street Cleaning.
From she same Board -
Transmitting resolution passed by
said Board September il, 1906, and apr
proved by the Mayor September 10,
CTO ha Cantinued9
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08
&c .
MONDAY. OCTOBER s, 1906.

Congressman Fowler, of New Jersey,
~ grace of Speaker Cannon, Chairman
Il the House Committee on Banking and
currency. has a remedy for the shortage
f money in Wall street. First, he would
eposit the money received by the United
hates Treasury for taxes in the banks,
md secondly be would grant to the ma
ionaf hanks the right of issuing cashier
hecks. to an amount equaling one-half
( their capital. As most of the surplus
aoney in the Treasury has already been
eposfted by the administration in its IA
orite banks, without interest. the pro-
osal that such deposits should be made
sgal would hardly help much. To give
he national banks the right of issuing
alton that might lead to great abuses,
nd would only be benefit to the Wall
treet bankers and SPECTATORS. Who
ill care to take a cashiers check in
lace Of money in time of stress, when
anks may be perilously near to failure,
ecause they cannot pay their depositors? !?
This Republican plan of forever favor
sg the banks and never thinking of the
eople, when enacting financial legisla-
lon, is on a par with Republican tariff
Dgislation which protects the trusts and
bnbines at the expense of the people.
Any new financial legislation that will
b acceptable to the Democrats, must be
br the preservation of the rights Of the
reat army of bank depositors and not
allow more leeway to the banks. The
bet is the Republican financial system
] breaking down. for although nearly all
lie free money in the United States
Eeasury has been handed over to the
sAnks without interest. the Wall street
anks are still crying for more.
The administration Of the United
hates Treasury has virtually been hand
l oyer by Secretary Shaw to the Rocke-
aler and other great wall street inter-
IT'S ana it must be presumed that Presi-
mt Roosevelt has approved the extraor-
hary actions of his Secretary of the
reasury. for he has not raised the finger
caution, or said a word to restrain
m
The Republican system oe Treasury
rancc. as now administered is to tax
e people for the benefit Of Wall street
ID its frenzied hnaneiers. 5y sinking rhe
n5ted ststes Treasury a sigsatie bank
g institution. to loan the taxes collect
to favorea banks. uithosd interest
IA all expenses ilaid by ths taxpayers.
be cor,placenes Of Republican Con-
essss 70 this sysseln. shows the sub
rviencs II The 1epusi;saa politicians,
eat ard smAa, p Wall stress inau-
ess.
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08
PREMIUM OFFICE
80 P1alieade Avenue, JerseyCi.y

prefers to be piundered rather than have
the Democrats reform the tariff. 1t is
really pitiful the way Mr.. Bryan did fay
Shaw, but he brought 1t on himself. 1t
is understood the Republican Congress-
Iionald Commit ees would cancel sbsBs
appointments in Missouri if they could
get anyone else to talk at the meetings
arranged for.
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08

Whereas The Chief Engineer has
of September u. 1905. that the contrac-
tor for the Improvement Of Reservoir
Fairgrounds has exceeded the time limit
Of his contract by 100 days. and that the
work contracted for should have been
Resolved, That notice be forwarded to
the bonding company on said contract to
proceed to complete the same Immediate
ly
Resolved That se1 be na;d ia Geo. II.
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08

The Committee on Printing and Sta
tionery presented the following
Resolved, That $134 be paid to The
Jersey City News for printing manual,
pages 337 to 403, Clerks office, August,
1906, claim No. 1S49
Charge Printing and Stationery.
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08

i've (5) minutes.
On reassembling, all the members of
the Board were present.
PRESENTATION OF PETITIONS
AN COMMUNICATIONS
From Simon Flaherty:-
Commenting on satisfactory manner of
street sprinkling on Garfield avenue and
ether local streets by Mr. Jones.
From Richard Hill:-
Requesting permission to preach the
Gospel in the Bergen section of city.
From Erie Railroad Co., per J. M.
Barrett
Requesting permission to TRANSFER
scales from freight station on Pavonia
avenue to milk depot on said avenue
From A. ]. Proppe:-
Making application for the position of
Inspector on Nesbitt street.
From West Pulverizing Machine Co.,
Calling attention to condition of street
at Pollock and Mallory avenues.
From st. Patrick's Church. per John
J. O'Connor and others -:
rendering private sewer as a public
sewer to city, on Clerk street, between
Union street and BramhaH avenue.
Application of Rev. p w. Smith and
others for the improvement of Huron
avenue, between Van Winkle avenue and
st. Paul's avenue
From Frank and Mary Meyers and
others, petitioning for the opening Of
Henderson street, between the northerly
line of the Morris Canal and the north
Received and referred to the Commit
te on Streets and Sewers.
From Peter Erhart and others
Requesting the substitution Of electric
lights for oil lights on Long Street
= r..
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08

AS Republican Chairman Jim Sherman
says that Gompers' speeches in Maine
helped Littlefeld, why does he not invite
Gompers to make speeches in the numer-
Gus other Congressional districts where
the Republican candidates are in danger?
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08

1t was adopted by the following vote,
on call for the ayes and nays
Commissioned Berry, Knox,
Nolan, Rooney and President Hauck.
Nays-None.
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08

$3.50 to P. Duggan, claim No. 1913
$50 to John Fallon, claim No. 24u
$6250 to E. Carroll, claim No. 1856.
$50 to Thomas Brown, claim No. S51.
$6250 to Thomas McCabe, claim No.
SIS,
$40 to I. Higgins, claim No. 796.
Charge Repaving Bergen Avenue.
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08
Charge this Deposit.

1t was adopted by the following vote,
on a call for the ayes and Nays
yes-Commissioner Berry, Knox,
Nolan, Rooney and President Hauck.
Nays--None.
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08

MY WIFE CHARLOTTE HAVING
left my bed and board viii not be re-
sponsible Tor any debts contracted by her.
FERRUCC1O PONZONI, 211 Eye ave.
MY WIFE. GERTRUDE POWELL.
having left my bed and board the pub
lie is hereby notified that | will mott be
responsible for any debts she may cor
tract. WILLIAM POWELL.
MY WIFE. MABEL CALROW. HAY.
Ing left my bed and board, I viii not
be responsible for any debts contracted
by her. WILLIAM E. CALROW.
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08

1906, claim No. 800.
$3.50 to The Evening Journal Asso-
citation for advertising ordinance relief OF
Paul Cap. in construction Of Bay win
dows, August, 1906, claim No. 1134:
$20.S0 to Paul Cap, being unexpended
balance Of moneys heretofore deposited to
this account.
Charge this Deposit
The Jersey City news., 1906-10-08

Secretary shsw .iac:aras that although
terilf protected trusts DO rob him he