New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1906-01-13
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Under the caption "Hymenear' The Waurika
c1,vs, has an eloquent wedding notice. 1t starts
out thus:
1.-THE full fruition of all youthful aspirations was
realized in the final contamination OF long ana
intimate acquaintance by the ceremony Whlch
united Jack Turmoil and Mamie Brand IN the holy
,,onda of roatrfuony which is hoped by all tneir
relatives and friends to be the iniuatory 10 d oe
and peaceful life which may in its continued eApe .
ence be the epitorne of all happiness ana receive
the richest blessings which heaven mas 70 pe
POSSIBLE EXPLANATION,
An old hen was pecking at some stray carpet
tacHs What do you suppose that fool hen is eat
ing those acK Eetoned his better half she is going
to lay carpet '-(Chicago news
There are bad tidings from Arizona. THE Tomb
stone Prospector bewails the decedence or rnoraiS
and manners: Conspicuous citizens are tAFEis ~
wearing BOILED" shirts and the other haoiilmehIS
o4 on eAete civilization Every symptom aou9
~ disq7,sted contemporary. points to ten
dency to spread style in tombstone. Aront
other instances in this direction the boys oousHI
q nar of beautiful barber pole suspehoerS anu
nresented them to the amiable dispenser VINO
shoves the amber extract of cheerfuness over Tue
mahogany of the Parlor saloon He promPtS
donned the innovation. but claimed tnat ne iei'
like he had a fence rail on each shouloer. 1hel'
whom they became overburdensome. he would IN
hutton them and permit them TO bangle in 'front.'
bit he finally got them down fine enough to go TO
church in"
vo Tha Tife Mhy-fo gu Say 20 s''
absolutely nothing.
1T is evident that you do not know my wife. =
(Houston Post.
An interview with the Sultan OF Turkey mas us
amusing side That monarch is not supposed ON
ciall,, to know any language but his own An IN
terpreter thunders his majestys questions at the
visitor then cringes with awe as ne listens 70 Ho
words of his royal master me contrast 10 U.s.
70 the ridiculous At the conclusion of the inter
iouy the Sultan rises and says quietly in the Wis
TORS language or in French: Now that our pusl-
moss is over will you join in my study and
have a of coffee!
THE UP TO DATE HOUSE.
when we called at William spiffer's there was
And We us complimented william the talent he had
~ r 1hefe be your wife or daughter who
On the dificut piano. Did she learn abroad pray
wtuia agdl splitter. eye grew winkfu: William Spit
:. feF 5 sS said "a planet and it's playing all the
while"
Soon we heard somebody singing, and her tones
Excellent. we said to Splitter. such voice
Now "t that It must be Mrs Splitter. perhaps
AS an operate singer she would make great
Ills nobody spiffer answered "all that vocal
An Electric Vocerina-it can surely make things
hum
Then he showed his collection of mechanical az
Here's a pocket trolleyola that for paying
Here's a gilded readeretta that reads all my books
Here's polished batherola. twice salty
This is my new cardoplayo, which plays poker
There's the dinerola table. which when running
serves the meals
AS we left the buterola softly and swung
the door,
And goodbyetta murmured. Now be sure to
come some more
Then wandered to the sidewalk, past the ham
mockina swings,
Thinking of the wOndrOus progress made in labor
At the gate we paused moment just to mop one
puzzled brow
And an iron doggyoa wagged its tail and chirped
-CChicago Tribune
Corean currency exists in various grades-first.
government nickels second first class counterfeits:
third, medium cOunterfeits; fourth. counterfeits
that pass only after dark. Civilization has
served Corea well in this regard that Japanese
neghbors clever counterfeiters In earlier days
'Coreans used small shells currency They
probably better suited to the needs OF the hernis
than nickel coins
Something to Tie To.-''Obviously' said the lee
turer, what we need is a more elastic currency.
for the reason"-
Not me-" interrupted the shabby man in the
front row What need is more adhesive cur
Whereat there was loud applause
II appeared there were others.-(Chicago Tribune.