The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1906-06-20

les, we We Only n doctor, you
know, and he is extremely unpopular,
personally. Life.
LITERARY UNCERTAINTY.
Mrs. Au Fait-Did you enjoy Mr..
Henry James lecture on Balzac?
Mrs. Distract lin a mysterious whis-
peri Il wish / knew. Life.
"sTICKERs" FOR sPELLERs.
Most of us have a certain sympathy
with poor spellers''; and only a few of
us can boast of having "spelled down.
all our opponents in a Spelling school"
So the confessions and suggestions of a
number of spoilers who wrote letters to
the New York Sun on 'hard" and
"easy' words of value for reproof or
instruction. One correspondents list
of "puzzling" words was: "Plaguy,
mortgagor, tranquility, deleble, ten
dinous, tessellated, camelopard, violon-
cello, mattress, vilify, ~fusilade." An
other wrecked a%dventurer on the rocks
of "ei' and ''ie" mentions "mullein,
sleight, cleik, pleiades, weird, preset
ence." Of proper names, mississippi"
and "Llewellyn' are puzzling to me;
but every heart knows it own bitter
ness, and there are pitfalls for the best
spoilers. The dictionaries reek with
words that the most accomplished
speller could but guess at; and certain
words seem to take a malicious pleasure
in eluding you. Time after time YOU
nave to "look them up" "Old Doctor
Fowler" a famous Staten Island or
thographer, delights in this hill of diff
Guilty: cit is d~isagreeable to perceive
the embarrassment Of a harassed pedler
gauging the symmetry of a peeled pc
tato or a fuchsia." We all have our
troubles.
Doctor Ito Gilbert, aged FOUR -"Put
your tongue out, dear"
Little Gilbert protruded the tip of his
tongue.
poctor-"No, no; put it right out"
The little fellow shook his head weak
ly and the tears gathered in his eyes.
r" can't, doctor; it's fastened on to
me-"
DETECTIVE WORK EXTRAORDINARY.
"Ah," thought DR.. Watson Holmes
understudy, as he sauntered down Mad
ison Avenue, "there is a colleague Just
ahead of me-"
Hello, Rogers" he exclaimed, as
he caught up to the gentleman in ques-
ton, Chow goes it?"
"Pretty well! But how did you know
me from behind? / heard you hurrying
after me-"
81 didn't recognize you; but the pock-
etcase in your hip pocket outlined
against your coat, and this piece of cot
ton adhering to your sleeve assured me
you were a doctor, so | caught up with
you. And now, in addition to your as
am able to observe that prac-
tice is good, For / perceive that you
have just left a home where you per-
formed a tonsillotomy. BY way a COM
ment, might remark that your patient
was a full-blooded child, and that you
tackled the left tonsil first"
Good, Watson! Surprisingly good!"
interrupted DIR. Rodgers.
Let me say further" continued
Watson, Chat you operated without
the use of ~anesthesia, the child being
held, instead, upon the lap of a blonde
woman"
Remarkable! Wonderful! But how
could you tell of all this? Tell mel"
demanded DR.. Rogers.
Every simple, indeed, my boy, as
you will readily admit when / explain it
to you.
"The spot of blood on your otherwise
immaculate shirt-front proved to me
that you had operated; and by it's color,
on a full-blooded person. AS your
speciality is throat work, / naturally
thought first of the most frequent oper-
alton in that category. 1t was natural
to suppose the patient to have been a
child. The fact that the spot of bloc
is situated just to the right of your
necktie suggested that you had first re-
moved the left tonsil when a sudden
cough projected the blood from the left
tonsil to the right side of your shirt.
Later in the operation with the mouth
full, the blood would have been distrib-
uted more generally. Thus far your
exclamation assured me that / was
right.
"Now the fact of the early expulsive
cough pointed to the absence of anes-
thesia. In which for a child to have
sat opposite you and stained your shirt,
so high up, he or she must have been
held on someone's lap. That the some
n was a blonde lady / easily OWNED
from this blonde hair, which / shall now
remove from your coat, and which,
though rather short, | concluded to be a
woman's by it's very fine texture. Sim
pie enough, eh?"
AS DIR. Rogers entered his office alone
ne removed a small obstetric kit from
his hip pocket, and, as he placed it in a
drawer he observed aloud that, at
would probably take Sherlock himself
h 49, NlaI H.