St. Tammany farmer., 1906-03-17

son remarked in public: GIVE him
a chance. He can't be worse takes
! into his confidence three ministers,
lawyer, two bank presidents and a
Door Of Hope superintendent, and sets
| out to give the city a clean and hon
est business administration He asks
for suggestions as to the appointment
OF chief of police. The superintend-
ent sits up and suggests the name OF
| Henry McWaddle.
'Hennery is good man. he re-
| marks. Also he's familiar with po-
lice matters. He once spent four days
looking into the subject and wrote a
magazine article on the corruption OF
municipal constabula1y.' Henry gets
the job and goes to work to take the
police out OF politics. Within two
weeks every copper on the force is
familiar with the names OF the princi-
pal magazine contributors, where
manuscript can be disposed Of to the
best advantage, and the second-story
men are going cheerfully to their work
at nine every evening Mayor Blictz
is SO busy receiving encouragement
from his friends that he has little time
to hear the complaints. He knows that
no policeman is to be found near a
side door-they are not to be found
anywhere else either. In every sta
ton house is to be heard the merry
click of the typewriter, or the deep
rumnle Of Emersonian essays. Re-
form has got in its deadly work. The
mayor has appointed Charles Flint
Jackson to the head Of the plumbing
department, and Charles, a likely
youth with eyeglasses, has stopped the
leaks, but the sewer gas is choking
the city to death. In the fire de-
partment you will find the firemen
going merrily to their duties, but
cursing when they get there owing
to an order which forbids water to be
turned on the hydrants except between
two and five. That. my boy, is the
average reform"
"But is no reform successful, dear
uncle?" inquired Little Qilly, anx-
iously.
Indeed 1t is," responded his uncle, |
genially. But not the usual civic
kind. That only serves to show the
public where they got in wrong. The
real reform is not of that brand. It |
does not get up on its hind legs and
shrek madly about what it is going |
to do, but crawls merrily on its stom-
ach to the props that uphold the
graf. .r3ddnn ct r1,of,,ro LSrEc fhon, mt Il
and when the crooks have regained |
consciousness they find themselves IN
Jail. That is the only reform worth |
talking about, Dilly, and it pleases |
me to note that one or two men are
using that kind. Shy, my dear lad,
at the bogey of the business admins
tration reform. It is faded flower. |
do not want business administra-
tion, Dilly, and I can assure you that
the great majority of the people are
with me in this. You may ask why.
In strict confidence will tell you,
but you must not breathe it. It is
this: The American business man is
altogether too fly. We are afraid OF
him."
''But are not reformers sincere?"
asked Little Dilly.
Sincere indeed responded, Uncle
George with q smile Sincerity is
their watchword, bu. grieve to say
that this sincerity only applies to the
rapidity with which they make friends
with the reporters. Those are the pro-
fessional reformers, however, my boy.
The real brand are never known as re-
formers at all. They are merely men
with keen sense Of the public wrong,
and they are too busy to talk about
themselves and what they hope to do.
Instead of wasting time SO valuable,
they occupy it by going before the
gran1 jury and dragging down a hat
full Of indictments, which are served
and satisfied before the recipients are
getting their first coffee in the morn
ing.
But reformers are Of service to our
country, are they not dear uncle7"
inquired Little Dil,y.
Some Of them. Dilly, are about as
much use as gold collar hutton would
be to IN Igorrots~