davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IRON the Atchison Glob

from the Atchison Globe.
A man who walks for exercise, is
apt to be as big liar as fisherman.
A woman rather enjoys it when her
next door Eeighbor is a little Jealous
of her.
You are interesting to your friends
as long as you are keeping something
from them.
A woman's romance is liable to have
this kind of an ending: Spending the
insurance money.
The day after a girl gets engaged,
she looks around among her girl
friends and picks out a press agent.
People who really do not talk"
much never brag about being close
mouthed: they won't even admit that
much.
A good many times when you think
you are accepting complimentary
from a friend, you are getting a seat
in the gallery at box prices.
When some people want to express
f dlsqeii IS to to- him. as if they We're We're
speaking of a mince pie at a restaur-
ant.
The woman who complains because
her husband likes to stay around
home, and doesn't want to go places, !"
is awfuily blind to the best of fortune
and compliments
When a young man and young wo-
man go into a restaurant and do not
look at each other all the time they
are there the people in the restaurant
look at each other and smile: Bride
and groom.
The children are always glad that
father didn't marry his first love being
perfectly satisfied with their Mother,
but they always have a notion they
would have been better off if Mother
had married hers
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

Uncle joe Cannon is sometimes
too homely and direct and harsh in his
comments, said young journalist
Il was not at all pleased with the re-
mark at the x banquet. OF course, I
am an inexperienced speaker, I can't
rattle off words like the veterans of
the senate and house. I began, if I
remember:
Gentlemen. my opinion is that the
generality of mankind in general is
disposed to take advantage of the
generality Of
Here Uncle joe interrupted me.
Sit down, son. he said. you are
coming out of the same hole you went
IN at. Washington Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
PoINTED PARAGRAPHs.
IFrom the Chicago News.I

LF'rom the Chicago NewsI
A man loses more by lying than he
gains.
Furniture dealers are advocates OF
brief courtships
Many mans meanness is due to
choOnic stomach trouble.
Unless a man has faith. in his work
he win not work faithfully.
About the last thing on a nth a man
wants to think Of is his finish
Some men learn to fear treachery by
studying their own natures.
There is room at the top for the man
who can push the other fellow of.
Womans rights furnish a topic for
conversation more often than mems
wrongs
All women are angeIs-fgurativeIy
speaking-and if wise they'll let 20
al that.
Among other lost arts is that of keep
ing ones mouth closed when there's
nothing more to say.
An old man IS as proud of his ability
to do q days work as a young man IS
of his ability to avoid it.
The average woman is willing to patch
up a quarrel with her neighbor because
of the pleasure it affords her to rip the
patch off again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
The Clerk ana the Women

W omen are funny things" said the
night clerk at Denver family hotel
recently. 1.-THE other evening a young
woman who lives here, asked a
friend, married woman whose home
IS out on the hill, to go to a theater
with her. After the show they sud
denly remembered that they hadn't ar
ranged for anyone to take the married
woman home, SO the young woman
decided to go out with her. When they
had gone about half way they sud
denly remembered that somebody
would have to bring the young woman
back here. Finally the married wo-
man came back with her Then they
asked me for a way out of their pre-
dicament. I advised them to get a
messenger to take the married woman
home.
Here's the call box said. Shall
I ring for a boy2'
Yes, please do replied the mar
RED woman I reached for the crank
and they turned away Just as I was
about to pull the box the married wo-
man returned to the desk
Say she said, please ring the box
for large messenger, L want one big
enough to protect me-
I tell you what, women are funny
things-sometimes Denver Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

They had opened a bank at Abb
lene.' said the man with his arm in
a sling, and as I was in want Of $50
1 goes in and walks up to the cash
winder and says to the feller behind
the cage:
want half a hundred
WARS yer check2' says he.
Right yere,' says 1. as I shoves
my gun into the winder.
shes perfectly good, says he, as
he counts out the money.
Il takes a little trip into the Indian
Territory and back and then feels the
need of fifty more. I goes down to
the bank one morning and walks up
to the same winder and says:
want half a hundred
Ter.
Right yere' says I, as I shoves
my gun into the winder.
NO good says he, and he pulls
trigger and sends hot lead through
my shoulder"
But wasn't there some mistake
somewhere p was asked.
I guess there was, and I guess I
made it They had changed te1Iers
while I was gone, and was jest that
fule that [ never noticed it. I thought
1t was the same rag doll of a chap
that took my first bluff. Cleveland
Plain Dealer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

An Irishman loves joke so well that
he keeps the memory of good one al
ways green In a book of recolIections
by an old member of the Irish parlia-
ment is an amusing illustration of Cur
rams ready wit.
A certain judge, Lord Norbury. was
famous for the alacrity with which he
condemned prisoners to death when he
might have pronounced a more merci-
full sentence. On one occasion when he
was dining in public with the fore
most members of the Dublin bar he
helped himself to some meat, at the
same time asking:
rs this hung beef?"
Not yet" said Curran, quickly.
your lordship has not tried it."-Los
Angeles Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
HUMOR or TIE 0AY

..xvbat is it." demanded the preacher
that brings the most comfort 70 q man
n An anne ae 90 grunted Judgs Gubbl.
waking up NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Leader
The oil magnate was on hand. I'm
sure don't know what you want O- Il-Sa
he s.l said fret fretfQ 9ils .-,,+,, ..
Il can give that in a nutshell. The truta
is you won't get it,. ..,
Nevertheless, they harried nm 1 Win
bootless NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Ledger
my dear" said Mr.. Jellus lovely
young wife. L thought you ought to
know; there's a married man who, IS Vio-
lentIy in i love with me as,sy,, = b.9a
If I tell you viii you give me that cir
clet of diamonds wantedF
Yes Who is it2
Philadelphia Press
What is worth doing. is worth doing
we'll, said the philosopher
Yes" replied the get-rfch-quick artist,
but it is a mistake hanging around try
ing to get it all after you nave reason y
believe you've got the community skinned
out of everything but a few dollars -
Chicago Record-Herald-
Now. Ioogy yuh, Claud." said old
Brother Utterback. addressing his callow
/ nephew Don't be down hearted and
mogger kase yous a niger and cant git
/ de political preponderance dat white
| chance of goin' to de legislature; but, law
/ SUI, boy, a man don't halter write an
I hon TO MS name De1o ne can steai -
Puck.
Up-to-Date-what is that old say
ing: Put a beggar on a horse and
! He'll kick because it isn't an automo-
/ bile. philadelphia Press
Blobbs-When I get up TO make a
speech I feel as though I had forgotten
everything I ever knew
would make in a trust Investigation
Philadelphia Record.
Hostess Introducing first violin to
sporting and non-musicaI guest)-This is
Professor Jingelheim, who leads the quar-
tet. you know.
Sporting Guest thinking to be highly
complimentary)-Le Enthusiastically several
/ lengths, eh-and the rest nowhere What2
Punch.
Washington was crossing the Delaware
He stood. Better sit down, sir" sug-
gested an aide.
sit down. responded Justify the Faith
er Of His Country And pray. what sort
of a picture would that maker
Blushing under the rebuke, the aide
resolved to monkey no more with art
Philadelphia Ledger--
she married an oetogenarian, didn't
| she2'
Il guess not. He looked to be as white
/ as any of us.''-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
NE PAss BUsINEss.

A Topeka young man is in the county
iaiI under charge Of having sold railway
passes If he is convicted it win go
hard with him. The railroads which
have been selling passes for political
support for favorable legislation, for
the election of senators and congress-
men that viii endorse no action un-
friendly to them. for the election of men
as members of sae board of rail-
road. commissioners and as members of
the state board Of railway assessors that
viii be attentive in their behalf have
gone and are going unpublished. And
the most drastic action contemplated
is the revolzing of t1sS pass sss~9ns
power.-Leavenwor Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
JAYHA WKER .J0TS

The application of the term -four
f1usher'' to Carr Taylor leads to the sus-
picion that Mr.. Walker or Mr.. Wheat
ley prepared the statement, and not Mr..
Robson.
The job of heir apparent to the Chr
nese throne is vacant, and the empress
dowager has called for candidates. An
nouncements may be inserted IN the
state Journals candidate column at the
usual rates.
This particular brand of weather
which Mr.. Jennings is putting out just
now should certainly call forth caro-
of thanks from Colonel Ralph Brigham.
Political note: Up to the hour Of going
to press Dick Thomas had not with
drawn from the race for clerk of the
district court because of the strenuous
opposition to him.
Thomas Dixon has not been getting
as much advertising recently as he
seems to wish, and you viii notice that
ne is utilizing Booker T. Washington
to get some extra space. Mr.. Dixon
must admit that Booker has some uses;
He affords Thomas another opportunity
to break into the limelight.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

OF course it may be true. as Mr.. Robi-
son seems to imagine. that the people
are vitality interested in his quarrel
with Carr Taylor about the use of his
Office desk, but the State Journal is in-
elined to doubt it. It is certain, how
ever. that the people are intensely in
terested i'm the way Mr.. Taylor ap-
pears to be doing his duty in the way
OF trying to secure fair railroad rates
for the people OF Kansas. and in the
way Mr.. Robson and his associates are
apparently harassing him in his efforts
excepting Commissioner Wheatley in
the grain rate case.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
REFLECTIONS OF a BAoHEroR
IFrom the New Yor

q IvIll tue New 1ork tFess.l
" men man isn't AIRS Of the cooi
It is because she is his wife
The way boy gets disciplined is. Hrst
TO 90 to, school and then to Ret r7sr-
ried. maj
The only viii a man can exert With
his own family is the one he writes fo-
them with his lawyer. as
In spite of the grafters and ofBceho1a-
burglars and highwaymen.
It is very improper for a girl mot -
make man apologize for lSfszir- 80 -
when her mother told her she must Ne
let anybody do IT,. A--s
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
FRON OTHER PENS


The domestic sugar industry has
nothing to fear from the opening of
our market to the Philippine product.
That market has already been opened
without injury to Hawaiian sugar and
Porto Rican sugar. It makes no prac-
teal difference here what concessions
we grant to our own dependencies so
long as against Cuba and the rest of
the world-from which we get nearly
half of our annual supply-we en-
force a duty ranging from so to 100
Pc. cent. of the present Dingley rate.
New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

Thomas Dixon is very much averse
to negro equality, but he appears to be
anxious to meet Booker II. Wash
ington on the lecture platform; Rev.
air. Dixon would doubtless be Mortified
ST he were obliged to shake hands with
1Ir. Washington as an equal, and if
he were asked to eat at the same table
with a negro he would have spasms.
yet his challenge to Mr.. washington to
meet him in debate is a virtual recogni-
zion of the equality of Booker T. Wash
mgton with him. and in some respects
St is suspected that Mr.. Washington is
his superior
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

1t turns out that Harry Williams. the
negro who attempted to loot the Mer-
chants National bank, has not been
out of the penitentiary very long, where
he was sent for making a similar at
tempt on Wichita bank. The question
naturally arises, what good did it do to
send Williams to the penftentiary the
first time2 1t appears that the fear
on being sent back did not deter him
4rom committing the same crime in
exactly the same way as soon as Op-
portunity was offered.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

eff were in the state treasurer's Of
ice I should insist upon a most rigid in
vestigatiOn and I would clean my office
up and remove the stigma" says ~. R.
Stubs. The State Journal differs from
Mr.. Stubs in many things but it wishes
TO agree with him wherever possible,
and it therefore hastens to applaud this
sentiment
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

helly's defenders insist that the zap
parent shortages in the school fund
axe due to the poor system of book
keeping However, the same poor
system of bookkeeping" was i'm vogue
when d. H. Hehebower was state treas
4rer and there was not a penny Of
apparent shortages in the school
aund then Funny this poor system of
bookkeeping should begin to produce
apparent shortages just as soon as
Kelly got into the state treasury and
should pile up over 100000 of them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

Tt is announced that the friends of ].
w. Creeeh are coming to Topeka, kan
sas Day to boom Mr.. Creech for COVER
nor, and that they have engaged quar-
tiers at the Copeland for that purpose.
In this instance it is suspected that
1.-THE friends of J. ". Creech" are iden-
teal with the enemies of Z. w Hoch
who became such because of Governor
Hoch's failure to appoint D. w. NALL
warden Of the penitentiary.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
HARD no CoNTROL.

john Sharp Williams might be par
doned if about this time he recalled
and returned certain Republican re-
marks earlier in the session regarding
his ina bility to control his party. The
majority does not seem to be much
more amenable than the minority
Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
THE TREASURY SHORTAGE.


At last the expert accountants have
submitted the report OF the state treas
ury examination, and Gov. Bailey's ac-
countant, Rowett, has been proven true,
in the report he submitted during the
campaign of 1904. only this report goes
farther and shows more thefts- The
entire shortage, dating back through the
Grimes and Kelly administrations is
$4,000. The evidence is in plain figures
and if no arrests are made Gov. Hoch
viii not be true to the claims made dur
ing his campaign, that a full and COM
plete examination would be made OF the
treasury and no guilty man should es-
cape. We are indeed proud to know
that Uncle DaDve HheboWer, the Popu-
list state treasurer, has had no irregu-
Iarities traced to his administration
Grimes and Kelly are a part of the
Burton machine and it seems that the
state must continue to sEeer. Coleman,
the attorney general. is also part of
this machine and it is likely naught
will come of the Investigation. The
voters are indeed easy marks if they will
longer tolerate and foster such leeches.
Let the people join in an tissue of a
square DEAF in politics, electing men OF
real worth rather than the man who
manipulate conventions, secure NOM
nations and win his election by sharp
practice.-Hill City ReVeille.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

The State Journal IS a member OK the
Associated Press and receives the fuil Gay
telegraph report OF that great news "a
sanitation for exclusive evening puD4l-
cation.
The State Journal receives for exclusive
publication the leased wire report 81 s.ae
Publishers Press for the edition 1of sun
CAV morning.
The news is received in the State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole puf-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
STAND PATTERs-

The stand-pat doctrine is admittedly
in need of amendment already. The
new German tariff presents a situation
which is not ''well enough" to be 'let
alone. Springfield Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

Governor Hoch.' says w. r. Stubs,
must be given credit for his honest
appointments" but as he said it he
crossed his fingers and mentally reserv-
ed the appointment of bank commission
er from the list of Ibis honest appoint
monte
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

The Lawrence Journal processes to
believe that in d primary election Chas
i. Scott would carry about every coun-
~ in the Second district Henry Allen
is insisting on q primary because it
VIII be perfectly fair, and he believes it
VIII show that majority of the Re
pubHcans are for him. 1t is evident
that primary holds a great surprise
in store for somebody.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

II w r. Stubs ct al. VIII be good
on the railroad question hereafter, ex-
Senator Harry Mcmillan is willing to
let by-gones be bY-gones.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

one Of the grievances Of the railroad
commission against Attorney Carr Tay-
Tor seems to be that Mr.. Taylor does
not have much respect for the dignity
Of the commission. Wen, Mr.. Taylor is
also correctly representing the sentiment
OF the people OF Kansas in that.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

The weather man seems to be doing
the right thing by the Midwinter fair
after ALL The weather man manages to
please once in while all right
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
SOMETIMES

It is understood that one of Uncle
Joe Canaon's New Year resolutions
is to let congress have its own way in
everything in which it does not inter
fere with is.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

1t appears that the federation of
commercial interests has been paying
fer Attorney Carr TayIor's stenog-
raphers according to Mr.. Robson s
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
HORRIBLEi

Suppose the brutalitses Of football
should be superseded by competitive
college hazing-what would become Of
the humanities then philadelphia In
quirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
OHIO


Though Ohio is not in the White House,
it has managed to get next. Vice Presi-
dent Fairbanks was born in Ohio and SO
was the presidents prospective son-in-
law.-St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
Tie POLITICIANS

Americans are said to yearn for a new
sensation. Paying railroad fare gives
this to some of them-Philadelph
Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
WORTH THE PRICE.

A statistician of lola who was over
looked in the appointment of a state
accountant, has discovered that the
present session Of the district court Of
Allen county is costing the taxpayers
two hundred dollars a day. STILL with
several joinists convicted, it may be
worth the price.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

The two great problems how to fit
the unemployed for employment and
how to md employment for them, are
again carried over into new year-St
Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT OF
THE ASSOCIATED TT2Zsz5S EVER j
WEEK DAY AND PUBLISHERS
PRESS REPORT ON SAIUhl9tA1
NIGHT FOR THE EDITION FUR
SUNDAY MORNING
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

The Boston editor who claims that
Booker T. washington is greater than
man of South Carolina--New York
World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

Perhaps it was a felIow-feeling that
induced Vice President Fairbanks to
introduce a petition from New Jersey
spinstress providing pensions for the
lonely.-New York Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

Uncle YIN Hill protests that he does
not intend to quit living an active life.
From which his young men viii under
stand that he expect TO keep a sharp
eye on their doings.-Chieago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
KANSAS COMAEET


Governor Hoch, in speaking of the
state treasury shortage, says there
IS no use making our troubles any
worse than they really are" Certainly
not, governor, for except that the short
age might have been larger. they Ger
tainly seem as bad as they could be-
Parsons Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25
MR.. BIGEIOW ADVERTISER.

MI AD-@NlllfQ ADV FIX LII
Mr. Poultney Bigelow Is probably the
Iuckiest literary man in America today
It is rare indeed that mere writer is
able TO secure so fine d lire of advertis-
ing as he has won recently. Not only
has ne been able to draw the fire of Sec
rotary Taft and Chairman Shonts but
he was afforded an opportunity to ex-
hibit himself before a senate committee,
and he certainly made the most of the
opportunity. Headvised the public
through his talk to the committee that
he was great man, that he knew and
was respected by great men, he admit
ted that he didn't know much about the
subject that he had written about but
ne was d great writer, which was proven
by the fact that ne was able finally to
get his article accepted, even after it
had been rejected by two of the best
known publications in the country. 1t
was fine chance to advertise and Mr..
Bigelow made the most of it-Hutchin-
son News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

TJp-to-Date-Wha is that old say
ing: Put a beggar on horse and"
Hell kick because it isn't an automo-
bile. -PhiIadelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-25

B1obbs-When get up TO make a
speech I feel as though I had forgotten
everything ever knew
Slobbs-What an ideal witness you
would make in a trust Investigation
Philadelphia Record.