Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-06-23
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, II Tea 7 able Salad. ~ s
Loneliness is the greatest of bOres,
otherwise there would be no accounting
for society.-Life.
'.Why do they call him Rubicon?
Because his wife crosses him 50
often. Town Topics.
.'Now'd be a fine time to run that
editorial Of yourn on Whittier Are We
Drifting| Exchange.
"He married beneath him. p"
"A misallianceE'
mo. the widow downstairs. Town
Topics
But she is rising in the social scale?"
Distinctly. She gets snubbed by
better class Of people each succeeding sea
son. '-Bystander.
Boarding House Keeper - viii you
lave soup tonight?
I.odgcr-No. thanks I'm off the water
wagon.-Smart Set.
He-I got tip that there would be
&utN iIiDS OUT at lHh tIdCh StSttIudA .
She-8nd did il prove true:
He-Oh, yes! | went out Smart Set.
Defined
Papa. what is SAVIOR faire?"
SAVIOR fairc, my son. is the ability TO
lie without n moments PREPARATION
Princeton Tiger
inquisitve Son-Father. what is the
meaning Of the Ii. ID. which the Uni
versity of Pennsylvania conferred on
Mr. Carnegie recently?
Practical Papa-That, my son. means
Lots of Libraries Donated.-Town Top
les.
"t,corge," murmured the young wlfa,
am ! as dear to you now as | was be.
fore we married.
II cant exactly tell" replied the hus-
band. absent-mindedly: Il didn't keep
any account Of my expenses then. Tit
Bits.
Cruel.
Mrs. Gunner-This paper says that
moths can he killed with cigar smoke.
Don't you think it cruelE
Mr.. Gunner--l should say SO. if it was
the smoke from the cigars you buy for
me-illustrated Bits.
Calling Down fer Society.
Society is now combination of
men and women who oycrdreSs them
selves at the expense Of their tradesmeu
that they may overeat themselves at the
expense of their fricads.-London Truth.
Automania.
The pedestrian-Therea are no two ways
about il. Some plan must be devised to
keep you autOists from exceeding the
speed limit.
The Autoist- Easy enough Raise the
limit Browning's Magazine.
How to Meet Trouble.
what do you do when trouble strikes
your
Shout halelujahr"
Does that scare him off Z"
Yes; he thinks I'm so happy he takes
TO the woods" ATLANTA Constitution.
In Great Luck.
Beggar piteously)-Ah, sir, ! ann very
hungry,
Dyspcptic (savagely)-The have the
decency to keep your good fortune to
yourself. | haven't had an appetite for
years. London Taller.
A Kisser's Boom.
BILL see ii said that Capt Richmond
Pearson Hobson is nursing n presidential
booIa.
Jill-If the boom could speak to Hob
son, it would probably say: Kiss me
good-hy, and gon'-Yonkers Statesman.
Music lOr Neighbors.
Al
hours day said the disconSolatc small
girl.
What for?"
cause mother and father don't like
our new neighbors Washington Star.
Handicapped.
Mrs Crawford-Why don't YOU try
TO make home more attractive Tor your
husband?
Mrs Norich-There's no use trying
dear, We can't afford to compete with
the $2o,0Oo cafe where lie spends his
evenings.-Town Topics.
Would Have Been a Horse on Them.
The Greeks had just entered Troy in
the wooden horse.
Suppose" they shuddered. suppose
we had been compelled 10 do il on the
water wagon"
Herewith each took another pony tc
celebrate.-New York Tribune.
His Finish
Once upon time man started e
save money for a rainy day Soon he ha,
accumulated $3.50. with which he hough
beautiful umbrella.
Then the rainy day came But tn,
mans best friend had borrowed the um
arcla the night hefore.--Smart Set.
A. Matter of Taste.
Can any little boy" asked the neN
teacher, tell me the difference hetwee
lake and an ocean,"
Il can" replied Edward. whose wis
dom had been learned from eXperienc,
Lakes are much pleasantcr To swallo,
when You fall m.'--Iouth's Companion