davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-02-09

| has for years run his alligator farm in
peace and content a long mile inland
from the beach.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-02-09
Mr.. Hammond Grows Hot.

Old MIR. Hammond, who spent $500 a
year in keeping the she'll road IN re-
pair among the yucca palms, suddenly
got tired a few weeks ago Of being a
good thing.
Millionaires in their wheel chairs
used TO be pushed out regularly every
day to Alligator Joe's farm. II gave
them an appetite to see the huge crea-
lures feed Mr.. Hammond last week
built a block-house half way down
the road and put in $4,000 worth of
bicycle chairs of his own. Whoever
wanted TO see the alligators had TO
take the ear ahead and pay another
fare. The milliOnaireS went on strike
They soleInnly resolved that they'd be
ding gasted II they'd let Hammond
work EN- like that. Traffic along the
bicVclR-chair trail ceased.
Alligator Joe, otherwise Warren
Frazier. resolved that if the miIlionaires
wouldn't go to the alligators the ALI
gators must go TO the mIllionaires. So
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-02-09
Escape From Pen and
Raise RuctionS With
Wealthy So
jOurnerS.

PALM BEACH. Fla. Feb. "A soli-
tary millionaire, II Is expected. will be
seen at almost any moment streaking
it down the beach like Arthur G. Duff
fey breaking records, while after him
races and RACES like a large and tooth
ful alligator, gnashing his jaws and
kissing his fierce war cry.
The coming situation may be intol-
cradle. Alligator Joe is held TO blame
for it. although really when all the
facts are known Joseph appears to be
N ore 10 be pitied than seorned- Joe
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-02-09
DYSPEPSIA-PROOF.
How ANY Meal Can Be Thoroughly En-
joyed by ANY Stomach.

Men, as a rule, are first discovered by
their enemies. Their antagonists turn on
the seaTchHght, and the proof of merit
viii lie in being able to stand the fash.
Il was only in this way that Mr.
White ever knew that dyspepsia was
one Of Mr. Blacks worst enemies Sit
ting face to face at a two-by-four table.
he handed his afflicted friend the bill
of fare:
Oyster Cocktail. STUFFED Olives.
Boston Clam Chowder.
Strained GumbO.
Sirloin Steak with Mushrooms.
Roast Beef Hash.
Boiled OK Tongue with Sauerkraut.
Lobster a la Newburg
Baked Pork and Beans.
Combination Crab Salad
Hot Mince Pie.
Pineapple Fritters.
Mr.. White ordered a little of each"
Mr.. Dyspepsia Black ordered crackers
and glass of milk. Il had such big
break tast this morning" he said, that
III just take a bite to keen Won com
pany." But Mr. White could not be de-
ceiVed; i am afraid you can't stand the
gleam Mr.. Black. Why don't Won saw
you have dyspepsia and be done with
tt2 You II always have that hungry look
anyhow as long as you have dVs1epsia
Now listen. My stomach was IN lust a 6
bad condition as yours at one time. But
now / can eat anything, at any time
For instance, this clam chowder or sir
loin steak or even the lobster would be
Just as welcome TO my stomach as your
crackers and milk. You don't realize
how this dyspepsia business is rObbing
YOU of your spirit. of your energy and
abilitv to think quickly I can't help
notice 1t. You haven't the cheer and
sociability you had three months ago.
Now III tell you what 20 do and there
at the cheerful Mr.. White took a vial
from his pocket and extracted a wee
tablet There, there is a tablet that
contains an ingredient, one grain of
which digests 1900 grains of food. For
even the worst dyspeptic it's the only
thing that really gives relief The reason
Is It relieves the stomach of nearly ALL
the work it has to do. digests every
thing IN the stomach and stimulates the
gastric juice. I can't get along without
them. They are Stuart's Dyspepsia Tab
let's You can get them anywhere on
earth for 50c q package"
Yes it is true, Stuart's dyspepsia
Tablets absolutely stop heartburn,
nausea, indigestion. dyspepsia of the
worst type. sour sOmach. bloaty feeling
and all eructations and irritation. and
freshen and invigorate the stomach.
They cheer you up and make you get
all the good there is in your food. You
will forget Won ever had a stomach to
Uors
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-02-09
]. ]. EARLY'S CONDITION
REGARDED AS FAVORABLE

Physicians at Providence Hospital re-
port John J. Early, the Washington
sculptor. on the road to recovery.
Mr.. Early was removed to the hospi-
tai yesterday suffering with typhoid
fever, and the house staff regarded his
condition as serious.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-02-09
Like Seem Things at Night.

Since the alligator moving began
things have been happening. A young
millionaire, whose swimming feats nave
made him famous from Bar Haroor to
Honolulu. saw a big black log in the
surf Yesterday AS he SWAN up TO rest
one hand on It the black log opened its
six-foot alligator jaws and winked its
beady eyes at him. The swimmer totally
forgot the old maxim. The more haste
the less speed.
danlv discovered dead ahead about sun
set last evening an unfamiliar red ave
me decorated with white posts or either
hand 4 second look showed aim that
80 sDaHtsCle was merely an alligator
smiling at the prospect Of chewing uF
conservative folk are talking of offer
ing Alligator Joe prize II he VIII move
again.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-02-09

home. 100 Twelfth street northeast. was
held at 81. Marks Church. Third and A
streets southeast. this afternoon. Rev.
w. L. Dev=ies. pastor, ofticlated
The paIIbearers were II. j. Wiley. Gen.
W. w Dudley, =. Y, De Graw, ID. l.;
Sandoe. Commander Robert Plat, and
Dr. William II Seaman. lnterment was
in Congressional Cemetery.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-02-09
PATENT OFFICE EMPLOYE
GOES TO LAST REST

The funeral OF J. 3. LdttIewood, for
thirty-stx years an employe of the Pat
ent Office, who died Wednesday at his
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-02-09

he had hired an acre Of sandy ground
from T. w Histed. the New York, New
port. and Palm Beach photographer, and
Is moving his big pets into pen he pun
close TO the bathing beach.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
|B|

Young Thaw had the satisfaction nor the experi- of earning honest dollar He never knew the keen joy of work The exuation of the youth who turns from a wood box filled lawn mowed-a job well completed-never to him. He was denied the opportunity of labor with his hands the working out of ideal with his head The curse of idleness was upon him. For ideness is The dicum that man must earn his bread by the sweat of his brow is bless ing Work Is the universal law of nature. It is the normal, business of man.
 What could be expected of young man who had more money than he knew how to spend and who made diversion his only purpose? There's limit to having good tme When you get far natural pleasures pail if the human has occupation the craving for emotions begins to pull the appetite. Self restraint is overborne Life is warped. Tastes vtated- Ex isence is artificial and false.
 There is for thousand ills-useful labor. No man can live a sane existence without some healthy occupation. We are built that way.-St. Louis Star Chronicle.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
"Clinxinx" Recollections.

"I'l slap that reporter,' growled old Weston Nurox over the morning pa per.
 "Wby, popper," replied his daughter, who had her contingent reception the night before. "I thought he wrote me up real nice."
 But he spake of ye as wearin' some soft clingin' material, an that reminds me too much O the time I was tarred and feathered out in Montanny."- Kansas City Post.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
Pope's Income |. Big.

It |, impossible to fix the exact in- come of the Pope, because the sources by which his settled income is largely augmented are subject to great fluctua- tion. Such is the annual subsidy called Peters penee," and the thank offer ings which he receives every year from all parts of the world. It is thought probable by authorities who have the best means of judging that, taking one year with another, the average annual income of the Pope cannot fall short of $3,OOO,OOO.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
&FDITORIALSA


make similar examinations and prepare similar reports. Even if the reports may not be printed in the newspapers they can usually be had application and the Depart ment of Agriculture works in the same field.
 The restraining and reformatory effect of these reports will be of great importance Even manufacturer who would like to cheat if he could do in safety will hesi tate to deceive when he that the reports of the State Board tell the truth about his products and that the reports accessible to a Henceforth the house. holder can buy greater confidence than ever before Youths Companion.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10

WOrld Inat problem mas to uO Witn tue future relations of the white and black in Africa Shall the latter be permanently relegated to position of servtude and subecton the inevitable fate of an Inferior associated with highly developed shall the attempt be made to treat both terms of equality before the law? Shall the majority of the nhab itans of the country bearing proportion of not less than twelve to of the whites in Natal for instance be deprived of political rights by the white men who have into the land to till its fields and develop Its mineral resources? In word, shall this great continent, with its teeming millions of black natives be turned into
 "whte mans country" regardless of the interests and wishes of the blacks?
 That the question is vastly than academic is shown by the unrest among the Zulu and Kafir populations of South Africa and by the repeated upris ings of the Mohammedan negroes of the Niger region So long the country governed from above in Nigeria and in the undeveloped portions of South Africa the problem has not risen to the white rulers but where the attempt to introduce democratic sefgovernment made-as in the Cape Colonies-it is acute The whom rests the real burden of the problem, the colonists, have small for the humanarans and the theorists They frankly declare that the cherished doc Urine of equal rights for all is not for them, and that the occupation of the country for motives with which ethics have nothing to do-Phadelphia Ledger.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
DISASTER IN AWHILE.
Great Loss of Life that Excited the Small People.

NASsse A<ODn VI AAAC tndt tn6
 Small People.
 "Oh, yes, feel well enough, but I'm not in my usual spirits, maybe" The woman spending the summer in the cabin on the hill dropped in to see the tentdwellers in the orchard.
 You know I can't bear to kill any thing, but lately the ants have been getting so numerous in the cabin that l concluded I just must. The ants seemed quite excited naturally, but at first didn't notice anything in partic- ular, though of course I'd always known that they're intelligent.
 Last summer we had wasps, and somebody told me to leave the slain ones around in vew-it would help to make the other wasps go elsewhere to buld Why wouldn't ants take the same hint? I thought. So I collected a lot of dead ants and decorated the windOw-sill.
 Pretty soon I happened to remem- Der, and--bless your heart !-perfect multitudes of ants were coming in pro- sessions to-my morgue.
 "Do you understand? They were identifying the bodies of friends and relations. It was no time before every single dead ant had been carried away for decent burial, no doubt-by the fathers, mothers. brothers, husbands and wives that I had made mourners off"
 "How Interestingly" commented one. "Such an opportunity to study natural histOry!"
 "Yes," Imply assented the cabin dweller, but in studying natural his tory, give me some benevolent role the part of San Francisco earthquake and eruption of Vesuvius isn't cOndu- cive to the scientific attitude.
 "Then,' she continued, thoughtfully, "while I didn't actually see the note books, yet after the bodies of the vic tims"-she shifted uneasily in her chair-"had been removed, q lot of strenuous, inquisitive ants went dash ing about on the scene of disaster, and I'm positive from their manners-I was once interviewed myself-that they were reporters"
 You'll probably receive copy of the San Antonio Times," suggested q sympathetic nearer.
 Don't believe I'd care to read the account from that side," said the cabin lady, ruefully. Doesn't anybody know some powder or something that drives ants away without killing them? Iden- tifying friends and relations! Think of that, will you?"-YOuth's COmpan- ion.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
Up to Date.

Dolly Dimples-So Reggy Bonds pro. posed to you the other day? Was he very nervous?
 Sally Smiles-I should say so. Why, he was up in the air.
 Dolly Dimples-You don't mean 1t. And were you calm, dear?
 Sally Smiles-No, was up in the air, too. You see, he proposed to me when he took me up in his new bal loon. ,.e ......,,
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
Difficult.

Tn a spirit of bravado the defeated pugilist went to photographers to have his picture taken.
 You can retouch the mouth so as to make it look natural, can't yOu?" said his trainer.
 "I don't know about that" answered the photographer, dubiously. Suppose you ask him to open his mouth a little, so l can tell just where it is located.;'
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
Avoiding Temptation.

Slopay-Let's go up this side street; I see my tailor coming down the ave nuc.
 Diggs-Why, I never knew you to go out of your way to avoid meeting creditor before.
 Slopay-Yes, but I happen to have money in my pocket this time, and ] might be tempted to pay him.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
where the Money Goes.
cigar

Batcheller-That's good cigar you're smoking
 Popley-Yes, that's fine 1O-center you gave me.
 Batcheller-I gave you? I guess rot.
 Popley-Oh, yes, Pm sure it was your money paid for it. The only money l found in our baby's bank this morning was the dime you put in yes terday.-Catholic Standard and Times.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10

of State game laws and already the pure food and the
 meat inspection acts passed at the recent session of Con- gress have borne fruit in several States
 In Massachusetts and in New Hampshire particularly the State Boards of Health have made public the results of chemical analysis of many articles of food in daily These articles bought in the open market of local groces just any householder buys them for his When they found to be aduterated other than represented the abels the State Boards of Health have published the fact, naming the packer giving de- scrpton of the label and telling just what and how much aduteraton found.
 The State Boards have long been carrying this work but what Is Is the fact that the newspapers have taken much more interest in It, and now print the ports in full The Boards of Health in many other States
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
ApprODriate.

"What tune Is that the landlady's daughter is playing?' queried the new boarder.
 "Oh, that's q conglomerated mixture of airs from different Operas," explain ed the old boarder
 q see-sort of musical hash, as 1t were," said the n. b.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
No Objection to Stating It.

Reporter-Senator, if it isn't secret, I should like to know something about the speech you are going to make tomorrow. How will you stand on the government ownership?
 Statesman-Briefy, but with emphasis, young man, l shall jump on it with both feet
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
Perfectly Clear.

His Coachman-Professor, why is 1t that the moon allus shows the same face?
 The Professor-That is due to the cir constance that it's revolution upon it's axis is coincident with the revolution it makes in it's orbit.
 The Coachman-Thankee. I thort it was somethin' like that. 4
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
A Striking Similarity.

"Can you tell me why bananas are like wedding guests"
 "I can't say I see any resemblance"
 "Oh, yes, there is. Bananas are like wedding guests because they are al- ways ready to throw the slipper after the pairing comes off."-Baltimore American. e4l
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
No Settlement There.

"Mrs. Splash has gone into settle. ment work" Hv' :..
 "I know one person who wouldn't believe it." f'r''
 "Who's that?"
 "Her dressmaker." ."-Detrolt Free Press.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
Prepared for That.

s Teacher---Why did Hannibal cross the Alps? ,
 New Pupil-Same reason the hen had fur crossin' the road. You can't fool me with no conundrums.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
TO CURE THE HARRY THAWs.

ARRY THAW'S mother ruined her son when she changed the will of the boys father The latter left the spendthrft $25O0 year. Mrs. Thaw changed it to $S0,0OO year. It was case of too much mothering. She put handicap on the sons life, cheated him Out of his chance
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10

strikes of draymen end. There forty five miles of tunnel equipped with rails and overhead trolley in the district bounded by Chicago avenue the lake, Hal sed and Sixteenth streets constructed the last five years at cost of $30OOOOQO The railroads are to re- ceive freight the tunnel company at minimum of expense The system of underground freight tunnels not municipal enterprise but begun, 1t is alleged, by subterfuge and carried against the wish of the city fathers.-Baltimore American.
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
\ "BLACK LIST" OF FOODS.

NE of the most interesting things to the student of political history and progress is the way in which federal statutes often
 stimulate State legislation and encourage the enforcement of State laws. The Lacey
 act for the protection of game by the na- fionaI government has done more than any
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
CH1cAao's FREIGHT TUNNEL.

o other American city is in the happy po- stion of Chicago in having a large system of freight tunnels, by which business houses can load goods from their cellars right into cars The tunnel company connects its trunk tunnels with the larger houses In the down. diakr hat
Holbrook argus., 1906-11-10
AFRICA FOR THE AFRICANS.

will not do to exaggerate the weight and importance of the so-called Ethiopian move ment, the keynote of which Is expressed by the cry of "Africa for the Africans" and yet underlying 1t is one of the gravest prob lens awaiting the solution of the civilized world That problem has to do with the
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1906-07-27
A REAL pLArronm.
Walla Walla Statesman.

I Winston Churchill, the novelist,
who. has accepted the Endorsement Of
the Lincoln Republican club for the
governorship of New Hampshire.
makes the illuminative suggestion
that "the broad issue and general
platform should be the non -interfer-
ence of the Boston g. Main railroad or
of any other corporation in the poll
tics and government of the state"
Mr.. Churchill has defined not only a
real issue but the most important
issue in American politics. His plat
form applies to nearly every state and
to the1 national government as we'll.
More and more the question in politi-
cal conventions is not what individuals
shall control the party m a.
chinery, but whether that machinery
shall be a corporation annex.
This is the issue in Iowa, whore the
railroads are opposing the renomina,
tion of Governor Cummins. 1t has
been the real issue in Wisconsin dur
ing La Follette's long fight, as it was
in Michigan under Pingree. 1t was
the issue in New York last fall which
overthrow Boss Murphy, and it was
the issue in the democratic state con-
vention in Pennsylvania the other day
when Guffy was defeated.
Whenever the issue can be clearly
drawn there is never any doubt as to
the result. The difficulty is in max
ing the issue clear, and the chief
work which satellite politicians per
form for corporation employers is in
drawing herrings across the trail. Nc
more artistic example of this work car
be found than in the Iowa contest
where the corporations took advantage
Of the Governors tariff revision views
to make campaign against him or
the issue of Dingleyism.
II Mr.. Churchill can make the peo
pie of New Hampshire understand
that the real question is whether they
are to have elf-government or gov
ernment of the Boston & Maine rail
road, there can be little doubt which
they will select.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1906-07-27
Trust to Nature.

A great many Americans, both men
and wOricn, arc thin, pale and puny, with
poor cir Allation, because they have ILL.,
treated their stomachs by hasty eating
or too much eating, by consuming alco-
hollc beverages. or by too clio Q rtniine-
mcnt to home, Office or factory. and in
consequence the stomach must be treated
In natural way before they can rectify
their earlier mistakes. The muscles in
many such people, in fact In every weary,
thin and thin-bloodel person, do their
work with great difficulty. As result
fatigue comes early, Is extreme and lasts
long. Tho demand for nutritive aid is
ahead of the supply. To insure perfect
health every tissue, bone, nerve and
muscle should take from the blood GER
tain materials and return to it certain
Others. 1t is necessary to prepare the
stomach for the work OF taking up from
the food what is necessary to make good,
rich, red blood. We must go to Nature
for the remedy. There were certain
roots known to the Indians of this
country before the advent OF the whites
which later came to the knowledge Of
the settlers and which are now growing
rapidly In professional favor for the cure
of obstinate stomach and liver troubles.
tain in their cleansing and invigorating
effect upon the stomach, liver and blood.
These are: Golden Seal root, Queens
root, Stone root, Bloodroot, Mandrake
root Then there is Black Cherrybark.
The medicinal principles residing In these
native roots when extracted with glye-
crime as a solvent make the most reliable
and efficient stomach tonic and liver in
vigorator, when combined in just the
right proportions, as in DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery. Where there
is bankrupt vitality - such as nervous
exhaustion, bad nutrition and thin
blood, the body acquires vigor and the
nerves, blood and all the tissues feel the
favorable effect OF this sovereign remedy.
Although some physicians have been
aware Of the high medicinal value of the
above mentioned plants, yet few have
use pure glycerine as a solvent and
usually the doctors prescriptions called
for the ingredients In varying amounts,
tDtth alcohol.
The rGolden Medical Discovery is O
scientific preparation compounded of the
glyceric extracts of the above mentioned
vegetable ingredients and contains nc
alcohol or harmful habit-forming drugs.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1906-07-27

Milton has had taste of municipal
ownership in her water and electric
light system. 1t tastes so sweet to
her that she is alert for more on the
Same lines, and 1t is no surprise that
she refuses to take the Northwestern
Electric q Gas Company into partner
ship III her electric light and power
system. 1t is further noticed that the
fruit town has turned down the prop
osition of exclusive franchise made
by tho company back of the Walla
Walla- Milton electric railway. The
town realizes the value of the oyster
aud does not propose giving it away
Its franchises and valuable privileges.
Evidently Milton, out of her expert :
enoe with her municipal light plant,
believes her franchises to be worth as
much to her as to the company that
seeks them. With this fact in view.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1906-07-27
HE HAD MISSED HIM.

An Englishman who had his doubts
about Irish w.t." asked friend, ac-
customed to go to Ireland yearly on
fishing trips, if he had ever met any
not specially prepared for the English
market.
"As | was going to the fishing
station on the morning of my arrival"
he answered, IAN old fellow came
along the road, who, on a former
visit, bad done me several little SER
vices. And how is Micheal?' call
ed, approaching him, Sure, it's Mr.-l'
exclaimed my friend, recognizing me.
And how have things been with you
since saw you last, Micheal?'
Without moments hesitation be
answered, Sure, the cork SCREWS got
rusty since your honor was herep"