Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-12-01

without fat, bone or gristle. Clerk
You'd better have an egg, ma'am.-
New York Mail.
! Edward Why did Grace marry
Fred? She wasn't the least bit i'm love.
Edith-IIeavens no. She thought Ada
wanted him.-Judge.
Mrs. Skiunum-Why are you all hid
ing from Tommy? Little Lizzie-Tom-
my is the butcher coming with his bill.
Philadelphia Record
Gauss How does your dog like your
iaew neighbor? Matchett Its little
tGo early TO say Rover has had only
one small piecc.-Smart Set
The Father (to hoy back from col
lege) Well, son. how much money do
YOU owe? The -Well-er-sdad,
how much have you gotY- IIarper's
Bazaar.
Mrs. Flip have just hera talking
to specialist, and he says by brain
vitality has all gone TO my long hair.
DO YOU believe it? Flip-W ell-er-
knew it had gone st. Paul Pioneer
Press.
Ile--AIiss IIighnote is certainly n
hemely girl. isn't she? She-Well, she
isn't a beauty, but when you hear her
sing You will forget her face. He-Gra-
cious, Is her singing as bad as that?
The Club Fellow.
Mr. MIstit tsavagely Before | mar
ried YOU, was there any doddermg
idiot gone on YOU? Mrs Msiit-There
was one. Mr. M!Stit--l wish TO good
ness you'd married him, Mrs. Misdt--
| did,-los Angeles News.
Mr. Justup--Let us 20 around to the
De Rocks. They have just bought a
Rembrandt for thousands cf dollars.
Mrs. Justup don't say. Is it gas
oline or steam, and what is the horse
! power?-Chicago Daily News
is 1t fact that your mother-ln.law
threw herself out of the third.story
window aud you did nothing to restrain
hcrT "ENcuSc me; / went TO the first
story to catch her, but she had al
ready passed'"- uiavolo Rosa
They've started a queer restaurant
downtown; no tables. no chairs. no
food, no Writers" What are they
running II Oh, air or water?" Neither
Christian Science YOU think you
eat, so much a think ~ brooklyn Life.
Laundryman regret TO tell you,
sir, that one of your shirts Is lost Gus
| tomer-But here | have just paid YOU
! twelve cents for doing IL mp. Laun-
dryman--Quite right. sir; we laun-
dered it before we lost it.Harper's
/ Weekly
Stern Parent From my observation
of him last night | came TO the c0nclu-
sion that that young man of yours was
rather wild Daughtcr-It was you
that made him wild. lie wanted you
TO 90 upstairs and leave Us alone-Tl-
lustratcd Bits.
Well said the oplmist, Il suppose
YOU are through kicking about the
warm weather" "Oh, yes respond
ed the pessmist cheerfnlly. I'm kick
Ing about the cold weather now You
can nearly always kick, Louisville
Couricr-JournaI
Il can't understand this street rail-
way situation" said Mrs Wade Parker.
Il wish you'd tell me just what you
think Of It." Well, my dear" said
Mr.. Parker, "sincc you ask IT, viii.
But you'll have TO send the children
out of the room lrst. Cleveland
Leader
Did We get damages fer being In
that railway accident, BillT Sure;
fifty dollars fer me and fifty fer the
mlssus.' The missus? | didn't hear
she was hurt SHE wasn't; hut
had the presence o mind to fetch her
one on the head with me foot Har-
per's Weekly.
My dear said the caller. with a
winning smile, to the little girl who oc-
cupicd the study while her father, an
eminent literary man, was at his am
ner, Il suppose you assist your papa
by entertaining the boresf' yes, SIR
replied the little girl. brascly; please
hc seated Washington Journal
For some time past I've been buying
Il dozen eggs every week at this store,
and / invariably find two bad ones in
every dozen Something's got to he
done about IT," said an irate house
keeper. Well" said the new clerk
naiyely aud with Il quiet smile. "nob-
be If you only bought falf-a.dozen
you'd oGIy get one bad one. - rocer's
Literary Gazette.
Martha's mistress often boasts Of
her readiness Of resource. The best
uurscmaid in town" she calls her One
day she came home from "A drive, to be
confronted with the startling news
THAI ,hr baby had swallowed a button.
And what did you do, Martlat" she
a.