Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-09-09

Chicago a good story about New York
detective.
! This detective" he said, came to Chi
seago to trace out crime that the Chicago
police had had trouble with. He thought
he would succeed easily, but. as a matter of
fact, he failed. though his failure has moth
ing to do with my story.
MY story concerns the boarding house
that the detective put up at. AS he came
toward the boarding house one evening"
worn out with a hard and fruitless days
work hunting clues, he saw a man emerge
from the place cautiously. with a great
his back.
"This man was thief, though the detec-
tive did not know it: Still, he suspected
something. and he said:
What have you there?
Clothes to be pressed, SIR. the thief an
swered. FIN from the tailor's on the next
block
"'Ah. I see. said the detective. Take my
"Certainiy. SIR said the accommodat ting
thief, and he took 1t and hurried or"
Alfred Vanderbilt's Banter.
ION the Alfred G. Vanderbilt COACH" said
a Pittsburgher, 'I rode from the Hotel
Windsor to the Atlantic City horse show
for the small sum Of 81.
~Mr. Vanderbilt was in good spirits the
day I was his paying guest. He bantered
very gracefully the beautiful young lady
who sat beside him on the box seat.
II heard Mr.. Vanderbilt say that women
were never satisfied. No matter what you
gave them, they always wanted something
else and II they couldn't get what they
wanted by fair means then they got 1t by
foul.
s, HE said that last fall a lady who had
just returned from Newport sent for a
fashionable physician.
THE physician. on arriving, found the
a tnQ nY,a nr1nh 1oid fQ ling
her and another holding to her nose gold
bottle of smelling salts.
What Is the nature. madam, of your
complaint?' the physician asked
"'Oh, DOCTOR said the lady plaintively, I
am suffering dreadfully from-er-oh. what
was that illness, anyway. for which you
sent my friend. Mrs. Code, on a yachting
tour in the Mediterranean?
Monotony of the Country. :
Maj c. L. McCawley. the social aid" of
the White House, said at dinner apropos
Of country vacations:
"For country vacations I have no great
liking. They talk of the quietude and calm
of country life. but 1 have found the noise
of farm so dreadful as to Danish sleep.
Ducks quack all night long. From 2 on to
daylight cock crows to cock by the dozen
over a radius of miles Cows low and bel
low. Horses neigh and stamp thunderously
in their stalls. Dogs bark. Cats wall and
shrek.
Undoubtedly, summer night on a coun-
t W farm is noisier than summer night on
the Bowery or in Coney island. Oh, the
noise of the country, and oh. the lack Of
interest. the dull monotony there!
II once went to the country to spend
week on COUSINS farm. / turned in the
first night about 10, but the dogs and cats,
the ducks and ROSTERS. the cows and horses
kept me awake, think, till about 4.
lat or so, as the gray dawn came on.
the farm animals discontinued their racket
and 1 fell asleep. But this sleep that I so
much needed had hardly descended upon
me when my friends, fully dressed, FASTENED
into my ROOM
Up with you. laZybones! they shouted.
Out of that, or you'll be too later
I'm comatose condition / leaped from
the bed, shaved, bathed and dressed. while
my country hosts urged me to greater and
greater speed.
LAS my dressing neared its completion
and my senses became acuter / began to
wonder what was the use of all this hurry.
and / said:
What's up anyway? Is something
going on?"
Sure they said impa tientiy. The coal
boat passes the wharf in four minutes
Naughty Servants.
Henry Tyson Hughes a millionaire cf