Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-09-01


Weary Wllhe-Can yer swipe ride
under an auto2 Dusty Rhodes-Naw.
that's where the owner stays
Clipped.
Truthful.-"kIOw do you take your
SteakT' asked the charitable house
wife Il takes 1t mighty rare" replied
the tramp
SO you feel that your automobile *
perfectly saf.T' Most of the time
when Il Is In the repair hop."-~wash-
ington star.
Toast. "Father. why do they call
speech made nc banquet toast?"
My sou, was the answer, lit is prob
ably because it is so dry"
Caution. Mrs Newife-Bridget,
don't want yOn 80 build fire in the
new stove until YOU try the oven, SO II
II doesn't bake ! can send 1t back.
Does he believe in the survival Of
the tittestf" Tile does" ION what
ground?" Why. he says he's here and
that proves as San Francisco Call.
Mrs. N,-You used to call me an
angel. Mr.. X.--Well, l used to think
You were one Mrs. X.-And now
MIR. N,-And now ! wish YOU WERE
Cleveland Leader.
Reporter Why Is it that SO many
people commit suicide In the spring?
DIR. Thinktank--l don't know | think
myself that well or river would be
better Flashlight.
Step hvelyr' said the conductor.
Not Oh Your life" responded the
grouchy passenger. III l felt like doing
that I'D walk and beat your old car"
Philadelphia Ledger.
Ethel showed papa one of your
poems and he was delighted Scrlbbler
Indeed Ethel-Yes; said It was so
bad he thought you'd probably be able
10 earn living Mt something else
Judge
Somewhat MiXed,-A young man
who was about To be married was very
nervous, and, while asking for lnfor-
nation as To how he must act put the
question rs 1t Missionary to cuss the
bride2"
isn't il splendid out here all nlonef'
began Mr.. Boreim, who had found her
musng beside the quiet lake Yes,
replied Miss Bright, 81 was thinking
that very thing as you came along, -
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Wilder tat the door II thought
! told you never to call again Mr.
LosterI didn't come to see you,
madam. ! came so collect a little bill
/ "Ah--i seer -~call again. won't
! W-Cleyelnnd Leader.
1t was thankful Alma wife that
sent the following recommendation to
n patent medicine firm; Gentlemen. be-
fore taking your medicine | was too
weak 10 spank my baby, but now | can
lick my husband. Clipped.
Patient Wen, doctor, do you think
I'm getting well all right? Doctor
Oh. yes; you still have q good deal Of
fever, but that doesn't trouble me. cor
course not. If you had fever 1t
wouldn't trouble me. Scissors.
II think my speech on this question
win have some effect" "It has already
had an effect" answered Senator Scr
ghum. You have caused two or more
questions 10 grow where there was but
one before Washington Star.
Young Lady TO Clerk In Bookstore
am looking for something suitable
for an old gentleman who has been
married fifiy years. Can you suggest
something? Clerk (piomptly) IA
Half Century Of Conflict life.
Mistress am sorry to trouble you.
Bridget. but my husband wants his
breakfast tomorrow at 30 Cook
Oh. it won't be- no throuble at all, num-
II he don't knock nothin' over whole
cookin' II an wake me up,---Judge.
Bishop Never again preach against
or reject s0-called tainted money
Curate-Yes, sir; but Bishop
butts; IL we intend to successfully com
pete with the devil on modern lines we
must first ruin him financially. Life
Young Husband told the governor
thought 1t would be wise II we start
ed housekeeping at once. Young Wife
And did he endorse the opinionf
Young Husband--Oh, yes, he endorsed
the opinion all right.---Town and Couu.
try
And then said Miss Passay, he.
asked me If wouldn't marry the first
man that came along Think Of 1t -
"Yesr replied Miss Pepprey The
idea Don't those obviously unneces
sary questions make you tlred?'
Philadelphia Press.