The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-08-25

yes" 'What?" He spends it,
Cleveland Leader.
The Man Gin street car)-Take my
seat, madam. The Woman Thank
you, but also get out at the next cor.
ner.-Chicago Daily News.
Nell really believe she married him
for his money. Believed, eliminate
his money, and what else would there
be of him?-Philadelphia Record.
Grace hear that Charlie and Helen
have made up their quarrel. Gussie-
Only temporarily. They are going to
be married soon.-Chicago Daily News.
Maud-Mr. Wappington asked me for
three dances last night May-Yes, he
told me that he felt it his duty to make
sacrifice Of some kind.-Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
First Politicians Wife-My husband
| gives me every cent he earns. Second
Politicians Wife-Is that all? Why,
my husband gives me every cent he
gets.-Judge.
l
IS, but don't forget that you owe it to
me. The Borrower-My dear fellow,
shall never forget it as Ion. IS live
Brooklyn Life 2
The Wife-He told me that If 1 mar
sied him my every wish would be graf
flied. The Mother-Well, Is it not so :?
The Wife--No, 1 wish l hadn't married
him.-Cleveland Leader.
1.-The vote that 1 esteem" said the
statesman, "is the vote that Is not
bought. YES" answered Senator Sor-
ghum; You can figure that as clear
profit Washington Star.
First Tramp-Says in this ere paper
as 'ow some of them millionaires works
eight and ten hours day, Bill. The
Philosopher-Ah, it's 'ard world for
some poor blokes Punch.
"Rimer takes himself very seriously.
doesn't he" "Yes, indeed" Most Of
his poetry is pathetic, isn't it?" That's
what he calls it, but the editors say it's
pitiful" -Philadelph Press.
HE introduced the bill in the legis-
lature, you know" The bill! What
bill?" why, the bill. Before his time
the grafters we're mostly reckless fell
lows and used checks. Puck.
THAT man is so honest he wouldn't
steal a pin," said the admiring friend.
IL never thought much of the pin test," "
answered Miss Cayenne. TRY him with
an umbrella. "-WashInguon Star.
The Friend-There'll be something in
the case for you, l suppose? The Law
tyer-This isn't exactly professional, but
I'm free to observe that there'll be moth
Ing In it for anybody else.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Are you ready to live on my in
Gomez" he asked, softly. She looked
up into his fact trustingly. Certainly,
dearest" she answered, ''if-if-" IF
what" eff you can get another one
Cor yourself" Judge.
Cant l sell you painless corn
cure, madam said the peddler. NO,
you can'tv' snapped the woman of the
house. II have NO painless corns.
Then the door was shut with sudden
slam.-Chicago Tribune.
"What is your opinion on this ques-
tiony' asked the friend. Let us I'M
derstand each other,' rejoined Senator
Sorghum: do you want my opinion
| or do you want to know how I am go
ing to yoteY'-Washington Star.
"Fie, fe! my boy" said old Mr..
Cooley. 'I'm surprised that you
should tease that cat in that way"
"Why?" asked the bad boy, pausing In
his inhuman work, do yer know any
better Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Malaprop-My husband is just
crazy since the fishing season opened.
He can't think or talk of anything else.
Mrs. Browne-Fond Of angling, Is he?
Mrs. Malaprop-I should say So He's
reg'lar Observation-Disclosures
Press.
The Baron-The Duke Is but little
better than a common tradesman. The
Prince-Ah? Yes. He actually 80
licits marriage Win neiresses inSSeou
Of waiting for them or their mothers
to approach him on the subject
Brooklyn Life.
lyon ere taking a great deal Of In
terest in this investigation" Yes,
answered the statesman. Il have to
! Give It close personal attention. l
want to make sure it doesn't develop
anvthins don't care to have known.
Washington Star.
The advertising manager was IN q
towering rage. whats the troubie!'
they asked. "Why, they went and
placed our prima donna's Testimonial
for a cold cure on the same page with
i Tho announcement that she had sore
throat and couldn't sing. milwaukee
Sentinel.
Mr.. Gotrox- Suppose were to tell
Won that I was bankrupt-that every
dollar OF my fortune had been swept
Way-would you still be willing to
.rrv INV laughter? Cholly Softly (en-