Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1906-06-04

EbS Tie, Out us VIII
ksa'ezE 1a17zza ~ 7zs'afA-A was ready, and
his sarcasm on the few occasions on
which he employed it was overwhelm-
ing.
The most familiar example of this
sarcasm was that used to characterize
Roscoe Conkling. 1t made the two men
enemies for life and doubtless had
r.uch to do with preventing the Maine
man from reaching the presidency. It
sant the house into paroXysms of laugh
:er and is still famous in Washington.
Colkiing had referred to Blaine in
r;jtller oYerbearing way, plainly losing
lis temper. Mr.. Blaine replied:
"1.s TO tie gentleman's cruel sarcasm,
hope be VIII not be too severe The
Contempt of that large minded gentle
i1an is SO whiting, his naughty disdain,
.r'ran1iloQuent swell, his majestic, SUI
pareminent, overpowering, turkey COB
+ bier strut las been SO crushing to my
| self and all the members Of this house
| that know it was an act of temerity
for me to venture upon a controversy
with him. But, sir, know who is re-
| spolsible for. all this. I know that
within the lass five weeks, as members
Of this house will recollect, an extra
strut has characterized the gentleman's
| bearings.
1T Is not his fault; it is the fault of
another. That gifted and satirical writ
er, Theodore Tilton of the New York
Independent, spent some weeks re-
Gently in this city. His letters, pub
lished in that paper embraced with
many serious statements little jocose
satire, part of which was the asser-
ton that the mantle of the late Winter
Davis had fallen upon the gentleman
from New York. The gentleman took
additional pomposity. The resemblance
is great; it is striking = Hyperion to
a satyr, Thersites to Hercules, mud to
marble, a dunghill to diamond,
singed cat to a Bengal tiger, d whin-
ing puppy to roaring lion. Shade Of
the, mighty Davis forgive the almost
proclamation Of that jocose satirer'
Gail Hamilton relates the first wit
ticism that the Maine man is Known
to have perpetrated in a public speech.
! Strangely enough, it was at his own
| expense William Pitt Fessenden was
advertised to speak at town in Maine;
but, not arriving in time, young Blaine
was put forward to take his place. He
likened his situation to that of a farm
er who had horse for which he asked
Il u
for the animal ITS "a devil Of a
DROP said the farmer, ''but I'll take
it," The story and the speech that fol-
lowed greatly pleased his hearers.
When Blaine went as a teacher to
questions as to his antislavery views.
One lady asked him:
| would you marry nigger?"
Quick as a flash he retorted:
mo, ma'am. Would you"
Of an absurd Inauguration prayer he
wrote that it was 'incomparably the
best ever addressed to the senate of
| Maine"
People who pray to the Deity will
appreciate the delicacy of the sarcasm.
In his speech against granting am
nesty to Jefferson Davis Mr.. Blaine
said that the failure to punish Davis
and the penalty visited on an underling,
Wfrz. the commandant at Anderson
vile prison, seemed like skipping over
the president, superintendent and board
of directors in the case Of great rail-
road accident and hanging the brake
man of the rear car"
In relation to General Buffers plan
of a greenback currency. which Blaine
declared may indeed never be called
in for redemption" the Maine man re-
lated a story.
A gentleman in his state having fail.
ed posted this notice over his store
door: Payment suspended for thirty
days" A neighbor passing by said to
him, You have neglected to date your
notice" ''Why, no." said be. II did
not intend to date it. It would run
out II l did"
And So" concluded Blaine, ''the gen
t1eman wants to issue a legal tende,
that never runs out"
During the ensuing presidential cam
paign Mr.. Blaine spoke one day al
Athens, o., when the platform broke
down. An immense audience was
present, and the alarm was SO gen
eral that women and children were II
danger of being crushed. Blaine wa.
the first man up. Mounting on al
edge of the rostrum that had not gone
|. down, he waved for silence and In &
voice that could be heard easily by al
the multitude cried:
! There Is always enough Of q Re
publican platform left to stand on"