Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1906-11-23


this county, for if many more come,
some of them are liable to 20 into
business in this city. That would be
awful.
"The above is about the way some
people in Hobo figure. The Banner
takes pleasure in saying there are but
a few OF them"
Mans Best Priend is His Dollar.
The friends in whom he trusted
will drop him. in adversity, as do the
withered apples in windy weather
fall from leafess branches. Their
protestations hold the word of prom
ise to the ear, and break it to the
hope. The clasp OF their palms are
no more lasting than the political
promises OF a Gov. Mead. Their faith
is as Dead Sea fruit. ashes on the lip,
and their comradeship the broken
reed that pierces the hand which
leans thereon. And the SAVIOR of their
treachery is indeed the dregs of bitter.
est disappointment, the mingled gall
and vinegar that sleeps to its utter
most lees the wine of human friend
ship.
A mans best friend is his dollar.
Unquestioningly this faithful ally
will cleave to him though good and
through evil, and 50 long AS he has
the dollar, let no man despair. His
dollar will clothe him lest he be
naked, feed him when he is an-hun-
gered, fetch him drink if that be a.
thirst, and shelter him from the rain
and the storm. 1t will provide him
also with friends in plenty, so long as
his dollar lasts.
A mans best friend is his dollar.
You bet, q mans best friend is his
dollar. Given that, and he may wan.
der as the wind listeth, all countries
his country, all people his people. He
shall touch at all ports, traverse all
plains and visit every city. There
shall be smile on the lips of beauty
at his approach, and welcoming
palm from the captains - also the
walters.
He shall lie down and rise up at his
pleasure, and the oil. corn, honey, and
the wine shall be brought him at his
will. He shall harken to no mans
voice as at q word of command, for the
flight of the swallows is not more free
than he. He shall play with destiny
as a cat with mouse, for so long as
tho slave of the dollar advances at his
bidding, just so long shall his strength
be unimpaired. The broad acres OF
the forefathers shall be changed into
q wilderness for his pleasure, and those
of his sycophants and the desert be
made to blossom as the rose, aud it
pleases his fancy.
Sister, father, brother, mother.
friends-wife son or daughter-these
he may lose; those may be lost to
him, but with his trusty dollar shall
he gather companions to cheer him
lest he be lonely, to love him lest he
be sad, TO guard him, lest he be fearful.
His dollar shall be translatable in all
languages, and no mans hand raised
against him while he possesses this
magic tslisman. The doors of prisons
will fly open at his behest, the ban
ished return to their native shores, the
murderer 60 unwhipt of justice, the
despoiler of virtue laugh in his vic.
TINS face.
And when at last the final debt OF
nature has been paid. LO! the dollar
shall pave the way to . glorious end.
The man with the dollar shall have for
his last resting place the tomb of the
Caesars in magnifcence OF design, the
quarries of the old world ransacked
for its ornate decoration. There shall
he be taken, to the solemnly intoned
music and slow measure of wailing
dirges. the plumed tresses OF woe
dropping to tell OF a great man dead.
With rumbling insolence shall the
long concourse of automobiles and
carriages pass, the mourners packed
in curiosity. stricken ranks about the
ediice where his sepulture is TO take
place.
Already the deep.voice organ has
trembled its grief to the wide aisles
and the gathered congregation of his
chosen place OF worship. Already has
the worthy bishop, Immaculate in
ceremonial vesture, trumpeted the
deep damnation of his taking.off, this
paragon of all the virtues. Already
has the press sounded the loud tim.
brel of paid adulstion. from editorial
palaver to psge-full description of the
obsequies.
And this day the dollarless wretch,
Fate's discard, has been either sold to
the dissecting-rooms to be the sanguin-
ary sport OF ribald students, or con.
signed to the ghoulish mercies of petty
otficialdom, thence to be flung, like
. dog. to the narrow trenches Of the
potter's field.
A mans best friend is his dollar.
| LUE F. VERNON.