, 1906-07-03
OLD LADY PETRIFIED
RESULTS OF WADING IN JAWsH.
WAY PEBBLES POND.
One of the Real wonders of the
West" as Described by the Vera.
clous Mr.. JaPes-For a Time Water
Made Good Living for Owner.

81 seen a book t'other day." said old
Mr.. Japes, called Wonders o the
West, an may | be pizened with a
glass o ice water eff they was a men.
ton o. Calamity Creek tween kivers!
Nosslr, not a blamed syllabub!
"The eejlot what got up the work
Jest jumped that Eden O. the West
an gathered his Experiences, I'd say,
from the caboose of a cattle keer.
Why, thar was ~Jawshway PEBBLES
pond. wuth SEVERAL volumes, an then
the half on it wouldn't hev been told
nohow.
when Jawshway staked his claim"
pay no regards TO that bit O. water,
cert to obsarve mebbe that it resem-
bled pea soup,
His gran ma, though, a very aged
old lady, some troubled with rheuma-
tiz, took to wadin' in this pond, claim
in it done her complaint a heap O.
good.
she he'd KEEP up this j'yous pur-
shut for some months when she was
took down with a most Gurus symp-
toms to her legs. Jawshway bein'
some fond of the venerable gal pints
ter once fer Doc Snifin' for to engage
his Professional services. He finds
that distinguished gent holdin' down
the bar O. the Early Bird and Madden
a bull snake fer bein' yanked away
fun his libations. But Jawshway
want ter be put off, but ropes him an
hanls him home ter inspec' his gran
mas annatermy. When Snifin made
his organization he axes mighty
grouty what the lady he'd been dom
Of lately, an among other things they
tells him of her passion fer ~pirootin'
round in the pond.
80 she, Wal, you don't need no
doctor fer that complaint. What you
alls needs to call in is a stun mason.
The lady's props has become petri-
ficated through wadin' in that pond
IN with that he founders out O. the
house mighty indignant at bein' drored
away from his favorite ockerpation.
"An' blamed eff it wasn't so. The
pore old lady was completely oyster
fried from her knee jints down. Fer
one that was fond of pirootin' about
town it were embarrassin' a whole lot.
1t was necessary to take great care O.
them stun pins fer fear O. breakin'
'em, an good hand carved feets was
mighty expensive, l bate We!
But the discovery O. the misfortun'
that had befell aged Mrs. PEBBLES
opens up a good line O. business fer
Jawshway, who seen at they was
money to be made outen that there
pond. The railroad ten mile away he'd
started a grub house at the station.
PEBBLES got the contrac' to supply EN-
with guaranteed, indescrutible, fire.
proof pies an cakes which had gone
through the petrifaction process.
"All seemed to run smooth when
one day a traveller drapped one O.
them pies On his foot as nigh took a
toe off the gent, an he sues the com
pany, an gifts heavy damages, which
put Jashaway o. the business for good.
"Still he done somethin' sellin'
sowveneers to tenderfeets when they
wandered down hat way. Eff he only
could ha' toted that there pond bout
the kentry ther'd ben sight O. good
money in it fer him. but he couldn't
see jest how fer to manage it.
What settled the question were the
arrival of a cyclone one afternoon hat
jest yanked the petrefaction pond
often the map.
Did he hear anything O. it again?
Wal, no. I can't say he did, that is, in
its original form, but l guess it had
sunthin' to do with the hailstorm that
swatted the hull caounty next day,
when sturs fell as big as mushmel
lons."-New York Herald.