Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-27
Secret of Happiness-Old Lady Tells
Where It Can Be Found If
One Wants It.
Written for The Star.


But with an insidiousness that suggests
its descent from the serpent of Eden the
habit of nagging creeps slyly into the best
regulated families. And it almost always
comes by the way of Eve rather than
Adam. II Adam had kept a diary of the
daily or hourly events of that first house,
hold under the vine and fig tree and II we
could find ii should. without doubt. be
able to discover that 1t was by persistent
nagging that Eve won her point on the
fatal apple question. Erudtion may yet
go far to reveal the fact that the
phrase. the woman tempted me- may be
rendered 1.-THE woman nagged me-. This
could be authorized by the discovery of
the following conversation reported in
Adams diary:
E,ve-You haven't tasted that apple yet,
have you?
Adam-No Eve, 1 don't intend to.
Eve-But l want you to do so.
Adam-Please don't bother me.
Eve-Well. you'll be sorry if you don't
Fifteen minutes later the serpent whispers
To Eve: Ask him again.
ENe-Adam have you tasted that apple
yet?
Adam-No. Eve.
Evc-How many times will 1 have to ask
you?
Adam-Don't bother me.
Poor Old Eve.
An hour later the serpent says: ASK him
again" Eve follows his advice. Another
tack. An hour later she repeats her ques-
ton Another fifteen minutes go by and
Eve makes another attack. AT last poor
Adams resistance is worn to fragile and
he Yields. The result we all know only
too we'll
1t is small wonder. then that the fem
mime failing comes so naturally to even the
best of women. They call it by all sorts
OF names so to disguise its real charac
ter from themselves. 1t is reminding.
Suggesting. keeping an eye on "look-
ing after" anything but the hideous habit
Of 'nagging." A curious thing about the
habit is that 1t most often arises from
genuine desire to improve existing condi-
tons. The husband who begins to grow
IOundshouldered does not, naturally
enough. realize this growing habit. because
when he stands in front of the mirror he
instinctively assumes an Apollo pose. 1t
is the observant eye of the wife that
catches sight of the stopping shoulders
when his vanity Is off its guard. She be-
gins by telling him gently that he is grow
Ing careless about his figure. He makes
feeble effort now and then to straighten
up. but the habit grows and the wife
speaks more and more frequently about 1t.
She means to be tactful and to speak gen.
tly, but in spite of her best intentions an
accrbity creeps into her tone. Before she
realizes It she is saying with exasnerating
frequency, DO hold your shoulders
straighter!' or Don't stoop over sou or
''If you only knew how badly you look or
II You cared about my feelings you wouldn't
tiply one days such reminding by three
hundred days in the year and the result
well deserves the epithet of nagging. If a
husband does not comply with the first few
requests to change any personal habit
which the wife objects to. the critical but
wise wife will quietly give up the fight.
When neither his vanity nor his desire to
please his wife is strong enough to make
him reform the habit whatever 1t is, it is
no use for the wife to keep on talking.
Instead of being irritated when she sees
the erstwhile noble figure of her husband
falling into ungraceful habits Sprawllng
in a chair instead of sitting upright be-
coming stoop-Shouldered or projecting it
self abdominally into space, she Will con-
vince herself that he is just as lovable
and dear as he ever was. She will dis
cipline her tongue by ina ginning how she
would feel If he were continually remind
ing her that her figure was losing its sylph-
like charm or that she ought not to allow
those little lines TO get foothold around
the corners of her eyes. She will para
phrase the Scripture text and say to her
self. Speak unto others as you would
that others should speak unto you'll she
Is wise wife.
The Rest Laughed.
One woman who had virtuously announced
at luncheon party that nagging was one
fault she thanked heaven she was free
from said few minutes later: Yes l do
approve Of eggs for breakfast: l always
have one but my husband never will eat
them. ftry my best TO get him to take one.
Every morning | say to him, Dick. do have
an egg-piease try one! 1t would be so good
for you won't you have one?' But the
very thought of it seems to exasperate
hint
This sweet little woman never dreamed
that she was nagging her husband about
that precious egg. 1t is safe. however to
say that the husband had no such Illusions
ON the subject.
Annoying habits of untid!ness are a faith
ful cause of nagging. The man who was
never brought up to be careful or orderly
in the care of his clothes will not be likely
To change these haphazard ways Just be
cause his Wife takes him to task LAS
the twig is bent. the trees inclined" is an
adage every woman who marriees q man
over thirty ought to keep in mind. At first
he will soon begin to cad it naggng. to
himself, at least. When man feels that
lie has a right to apply that opprobrious
term to the reminding of his wife she
has lost a certain part of the admiration
she loves TO claim from him.
An old lady whose married life had been
conspicuous for its serenity was asked by
a bride for the secret of her happiness.
Il often think my dear. that 1t Is because /
never formed the habit of naggng. My
girlhood was spent in household where
there was constant pickering and l de-
termined that there should never be that
spirit In my home. When | was a bride,
l had a serious talk with my husband, In
which told him my desire not to get into
the habit of continually reminding him of
the things II was ms business TO look after
! told him that l should never speak to him
about a neglected duty more than three
times no matter how serious the conse-
QuenCeS were.
But did he always attend to the request
with only three remindings?' the bride
asked incredulously
Yes because he learned by bitter expert
cnce. Once he lost a considerable sum of
money because he did not heed my three
warnings. that IL was time to turn in GER
tain claim papers. When he reproached me
Tor not having told him to attend to the
matter. l replied that / had spoken three
times and that now he must realize that
when | said This is the third time | have
spoken about this; | shall not speak of it
again the time had come for prompt ac-
ton. / was careful not to bother him with
trifiug requests, for / knew that he bore
the burden of the bread winner. The re-
suit of my resolution that there should not
Lee the Irritating repetition of requests is
the beautiful peace OF our life