The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-10-27

name. We have owned horses and
cows"
YES"
"You have had every opportunity Of
studying them both"
Il remember when one Of our cows
kicked you over, and when one OF the
horses ran away with you"
"And you are probably sorry didn't
get killed. However, can you tell me II
bothliedownandget up the same wayT
II should say they did. II they
don't, what Of ity'
what Of III II you go to the store
to buy ten and they give you catnip.
what Of 1t? A horse neighs and a
COW bellows, and you might as well
ask what OF It. Can you answer
the question asked your
They both lie down and get up the
same way"
They do nothing Of the sort. A
horse sinks down behind and COW
In front. A horse rises on his front
legs and COW on her hind ones. II
lady should ever call here
1--WE shall talk abou. the heathen,
probably. instead Of horses and cows"
But why do these animals lie down
and get up In different waysY per-
sisted Mr.. Bowser. "You should learn
for your own benefit
I'm sure don't know"
Ways OF Horse and Cow.
''Then / VIII proceed to inform you.
A COW sinks down on her knees first
that she may examine the grass and
see II there are any bumblebees' nests
around. A horse sinks down behind
first that he may take last look at
the clouds and see what the weather
Is to be. In rising COW Is still looking
for those nests, and the horse wants to
know II there 10 going to be thunder
storm that day. / ask no credit for
what | am telling you, though 1t has
cost me many years Of observation.
For instance, how many persons In
this town could tell you why cows and
horses switch their talls?'
'They do II to keep the flies of, of
course"
'Ha, ha, ha! That was the very an
swer / expected. 1t Is the very one
most people would give, and yet it's
wrong. The tail switching Ia an in
voluntary motion and is practiced
when there isn't fly within mile.
Let man stand still. and he will put
his hands into his pockets. Let him
sit down. and he will cross one leg
over the other These are things you
should think of, Mrs. Bowser. Any
time you want to ask me any ques-
tlons about natural history r.
Mrs. II. Asks Questions.
II want to ask couple now. How
many teeth has horse, and why has
cow teeth only on one jawT'
Mr.. Bowser was bowled over in a
minute, but he didn't stay bowled. He
rallied and answered:
"A horse has thirty teeth, and any
fool knows that a COW has teeth on
both jaws"
"The male horse has fourteen teeth
and the female only twelve, Mr.. Bow
ser, while the COW has teeth only on
one jaw, and that is the lower one.
Can you tell me why this is so?"
Because 1t isn't. 1t isn't SO within
forty rods"
"But 1t Is. Any veterinary surgeon
or work on anatomy will tell you So"
woman, don't try any tricks on
mer' shouted Mr.. Bowser as he turned
red and white. Il sit down here this
evening to give You few lessons in
natural history, and you try to turn the |
whole thing into sarcasm. You talk Of |
corroboration. l will now go out and |
get such proofs that l am right and |
you are wrong as will bury you right
out of sight, BY thunder, but you have
cheekw
Mr.. Bowser went to the butcher and
was told that Mrs. Bowser was right.
He went to livery stable and was
told the same thing. He went to
grocer who had been farmer, and
was sat down on some more. AS a /
asst resort he visited his family drug
yist and got it in the neck again, and
he druggist added:
"Bowser, make thorough job Of 1t
md find out how many teeth an ass
las gotr'
He left the store boiling over and
'eeing red, but salvation was at hand
boy and wheelbarrow came run
ling down the sidewalk at $40 gait,
Ind as Mr. Bowser didn't get out Of the
way he was struck by the wheel and
oiled into the street, and when assist |
d home by two kind pedestrians he
new that Mrs. Bowser's solicitude for
lis welfare would prevent her having
mother word to say about horses or
ows. M. QUAD.
----.... eAa. 50
Keeping Him Lover.
Mrs. Sharptongue-D'ye mean to say
vou've been married ten years an
lever had quarrel with yer husband?
A