davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24
LOOKED IN WHILE PASS

st. Paul Pioneer Press.
A negro amateur steeplejack
pairing the cupola of was
hotel and losing his foooing re
stories TO the ground He brou!
against the management, allegi
the guttering was defective
lowed him to slip.
What time did this accider
pen2" asked the lawyer Tor tn'
"You seem TO remember everytn'
about It,"
1T was o'clock" the witness
How do you know II was
o'clock7"
Because I saw the peopio
dinner as l passed the winoov
witness answered.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24
A BIRD IN THE HAN


Boston Post
On a cabbage patch owne'
negro in a Southern commu'
was found. Spectators one1
negro 100000 which was 2
without waiting 10 consider
proposition, said to be worth
What is this about your
patch ?" inquired a neignpor
negro. II understand you no
it for s20.000?'
"Yas, that's true. boss. rep
negro, "Yo' see. mon come
round my place, an dey say 3
heah. Dey say, We GLIB yo
I say All right.
~ am told If you had ware
or two you might have SOLO
s40.000?"
"Yas. Cat mebbe so; but z
the hands tn mobiles WORK %
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Reports OF Republican growth In Salt
Lake were mado at the meeting of the
committeeman OF tho Smooute party
by a. number who are entitled to rank
high as drcamers.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Perhaps Brother Smoot, on his re-
turn from Washington, will have to
suffer the shock OF learning OF the
spreading OF a spirit of independence
in Utah county. -
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Republican committeeman held on
Friday evening a meeting that was of
the utmost importance, in the opinion
OF those who made the speeches
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Soon the Democratic committeeman
Will meet and show that they can make
rust as big claims Of growth through
out the county as their Smootlte rivals.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

If this temperature lasts, people VIII
hardly know whether to fly to the can
yons on the Fourth OF remain In town
and endure the noise
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Springville has doubtless more to
suffer from the Smootites, as 1t is alto
gether probable that some of the ora
tors OF the party will be sent there.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Anyway the Salt Lake County Com
missioners Will not be entirely without
commendation in the future. unless the
Rollins bond buyers are very ungrate-
full men.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24
NOT HIS pENoMINATl
London Tit-Bits.

London TIt-b Bus
Now. look here, SIT, exoi1s.
gamekseper imperatively, olc'
see the notice at the END OK tn
pedestrians not allowedT'
1T did observe a notice statr
pedestrians were not allowed hc
plied .he mild-mannered gen
readily, "but, you see. In f"
gationalist."
"oh, indeed" returned the g.
or slightly puzzled; then
it's all right. sir. You can ""''
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Possibly, Salt Lake county ought to
be very thankful that it's Commission
ers did not decide that still worse
bid for the bonds would be the best
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

The street car company would be
pleased TO see the public show it's ap-
preci@tion of the increase of. the pay Of
its conductors by giving them more to
do today. a. -
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Possibly, Senators Smoot and Suther-
land are holding a number Of friendly
consultations as to the best way In
which to appear unfrIendly.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Before the primaries are held. Mr..
Howell would be pleased to have the
Springville voters remember their
Christian duty to return good for evil.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Hardly any parent is patriotic
enough however. to enjoy Fourth Of
July noise made by the ncighbors' chill
dren.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Enemies OF the city administrator
will not easily forgive Contractor Mo-
ran for reducing the amount of HIS
bids for paving
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

San Francisco policy-holders posi-
lively refuse TO be glad to get three
fourths of the amount that they were
insured for
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Perhaps Mr.. Bryan win see that 1t
was just as we'll for Norway to decide
not TO be o republic, as a, republic does
not always choose its best man for,
President ~
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

1t Will undoubtedly be q long time
before Salt Lake county has another
bargain sale OF bonds.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Anything that the Republicans and
Democrats may see fit to do to each
other in tho coming campaign Will be
perfectly satisfactory to the Ameri-
cans.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Perhaps 1t can be shown that the
postoffice service is now so perfect that
mail is seldom delayed beyond a few
days
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24
FROM THE JOKEMAKERS,

La Rre.
Suburbanite Ito visitor)-Oh, how are
are you? Come right IN. Don't mind
the dog.
Visitor-But won't he bite?
Suburbanite-That'sj Just what want
TO see. I only bought that WATCHDOG
this morning.-La Rire,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24
Sunday, June "a, 1905.

And yet, almost anyone would say
that this weather was quite warm, If
4. 1t came in winter.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

probably feel that tho place Is worth
all the trouble II cost him.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

When Mr.. Booth has had . little ex-
pciIence Gra"inS the salary OF the
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

You carry the valise,' said the youns
bridegroom. Then they'll never sus-
pect we're bride and groom"
They entered the hotel. and the clerk
before assigning them a room. called
a bellboy, and said:
Get whisk, please. and brush the
rice off the gentleman's hat-brim."
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Gentleman lin restaurant)-Waite
how sorry am I did not come here to
lunch eight days ago.
this meat must have been comparative>
ly fresh.-Il Riso.
Gentleman-Because eight days ago
Waiter-Why?
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-06-24

Maud, can't you play tennis without
all that noise?"
Now. how do you suppose we are
gclng to play tennis without raising a
racquet ?"-Baltimorc American.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
THE POINT OF THE PRoVERB

An old proverb advises the shoe
maker to stick to his last. 1t means
that a man always succeeds best at
the business he knows. To the farmer
1t means, stick to your plow; to the
blacksmith, stick to your forge; to
the painter stick to your brush
When we make experiments out of our
line they are likely to prove expen-
sive failures.
1t is amusing, however, to remark
how every one of us secretly thinks
he could do some other fellows work
better than the other fellow himself.
The painter imagines he can make
paint better than the paint manufac-
turer; the farmer thinks he can do
a job of painting better, or at least
cheaper than the painter, and so on.
A farm hand in one of Octave
Thanet's stories tells the Walking
Delegate of the Painters Union, "Any-
body can slather paint" and the old
line painter tells the paint salesman,
"None Of your ready made mixtures
for me; l reckon l ought to know
how to mix paint"
The farm hand is wrong and the
painter is wrong: Shoemaker, stick
to your last" The fancy farmer"
can farm, of course, but it is an ex-
pensive amusement. If it strikes him
as pleasant to grow strawberries at
fifty cents apiece, or to produce eggs
that cost him five dollars a dozen, it
is a form of amusement, to be sure,
If he can afford it, but it's not farm
ing If the farmer likes to slosh
around with a paint brush and can af-
ford the time and the expense of hav-
ing a practical painter do the job
right pretty soon afterward, it's a
harmless form of amusement. If the
painters customers can afford to
stand for paint that comes off in half
the time it should, they have perfect
right to indulge his harmless vanity
about his skill in paint making. But
in none of these cases does the shoe
maker stick to his last.
There is just one class of men in
the world that knows how to make
paint properly and have the facilities
for doing it right; and that is the
paint manufacturers-the makers OF
the standard brands of ready-prepared
paints. The painter mireS paints;
the paint manufacturer grinds them
together. In good ready-prepared
paint every particle of one kind of
pigment is forced to join hands with
a particle of another kind and every
bit of solid matter is forced, as it
were, to open its mouth and drink in
it's share of linseed oil. That is the
only way good paint can be made, and
if the painter knew how to do it he
has nothing at hand to do it with. A
paint pot and a paddle are a poor
substitute for power-mixers, buhr-milIs
and roller-mills.
The man who owns a building and
neglects to paint 1t as often as 1t
needs paint is only a degree more
short-sighted than the one who tries
to do his own painting or allows the
painter to mix his paint for him.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
A GOOD COW.
Story of One Animal of Jersey Strain
Who Paid Her Owner
Good Profit.

A dairyman who does not own many
cows and those good ones, recently
gave the following figures concerning
one of his cows, a purebred Jersey, to
the Ohio Farmer.
Her first calf was dropped in 1897
heifer-now valued member of the
herd. Her next calf came in 1898, with
u successor each year up to the pres
ent, making nine calves in all. Three
were females and six males. The heif-
ers have been retained in the herd and
the bulls sold at an average of $50
each. Valuing the heifers at the same.
the nine calves represent an earning
of $500. With her second calf she
made test of $50 pounds of milk in
seven days, churning IA pounds, four
ounces of butter. Her average milk
yield has been $500 pounds, sold to a
creamery at an average of $1.20 per
100 pounds, an aggregate for eight
years of $720. Adding the value of the
calves to the amount received for milk,
her gross earnings amount to $1,0S0.
These figures are very eloquent for the
good special purpose COW, but were not
anything extraordinary. An annual
yield of $500 pounds of five per cent.
milk while indicating a COW of great
merit does not raise her above thou
sands of other good COWS. She has
broken no records but she has kept
the faith. She has always had good
care, good feed and plenty of it. She
has been given a chance. She is a
COW of robust constitution, a great
feeder, a strong milker and reliable
breeder.
Her feed had been the ordinary feed
of the herd. Pasture and soiling crops
in summer, corn silage, mixed hay,
corn meal. wheat bran and oil meal in
winter. She has never been fed ex-
cessively, but has never gone hungry
nor in any way known abuse.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
Harmless independence.

Rear Admiral Wilde. at a banquet
given in his honor in Boston, desired
to illustrate in some way a certain
sort of humorous and harmless impu-
dence that is found at its best in Amer
lea.
There was young man. said Ad-
miral Wilde, land he desired to pay
his addresses to a certain young lady
So, in a frank and honorable way, he
called on the young lady's father, de-
scribed his circumstances and pros
poets, and asked if he might be re-
garded as a suitor."
"'Well,' said the father, 4 have
no objections TO you. You seem to be
an honest, industrious, healthy enough
young fellow. | guess you can begin to
pay your addresses if you want to. In
derstand, though, that | put out the
lights at 10 o'clock
"'All right, sir said the young
man. I'll be careful not to come
around before that time. Buffalo
Enquirer.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
ONE UNVIOLATED RULE.
Club Servitor Had Seen Them All
Broken Into Bits, Save
That One.

A certain club, the name of which
need not be mentioned, has strict reg
ulations against gambling, relates the
American Spectator.
A quartette of club members decid-
ed to break the rule by game of
poker for small stakes, so they ad-
journed to one of the small rooms and
told an old servant to bring a pack Of
cards.
When he brought them one of the
members asked; John, | suppose it
would be something utterly new in
this club if we were to do such a thing
as play for money with these cards?"
The negro scratched his head and
deliberated, finally answering: Boss,
Use been wiv dis club long time,
and Use seen many things"
"Yes, but what have you SEEM"
'I've seen ebry rule of dis club
vi'latcd 'ceptin' one"
what is that one?"
"De rule 'gainst gibbin' tips to de
servants"
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
KeHnote of PictY.

There are people forever in search
of happiness who never find it. Happi-
ness oftenest comes by indirection.
You are intent on duty and are sur
prised to find you have stumbled on
more than you sought. To make hap
piness the end of your seeking is an
easy way not to find it. The search
for happiness is like the search for the
end of the rainbow; it recedes as you
advance. You cannot capture it. At
ter all your planning you will have to
give up the pursuit and content your
self with following the plain and plod-
ding path of duty, and to find your
Joy in fidelity to conscience and in
obedience to the divine will. In attain
ing this blessing initiate the boatman.
who directs his from above the point
of destination. and so makes sure of
it, Aim ut something higher than hap
piress. and higher will be sure to in
clude the lower-Detroit Free Press.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31

Now, a lad Of six can tell the diner
ence between II and H. But this as
tonishing jehu of mine had been con-
spicuous as the worst mathematician
and the best soldier in his class at
West Point No more did he remem-
ber that he was not in the wild west,
and that here in the east there were
laws prohibiting reckless driving.
He drove decently till he struck
Dupont Circle. From here he turned
into New Hampshire, thinking it to be
Rhode Island. Mistake number two.
He had studied the city map, but he
was conscious Of not knowing it as well
as he should have known it, but, true
to his nature, he trusted to luck.
Aside from all this, he forgot that
a woman might appreciate this joke
only when she heard it reCounted. To
live through it was altogether a differ
ent matter. In an episode like this,
woman's Imagination, given the
darkness such as usually fills a car
riage at night, becomes a round of
terrors. Every moment is freighted
with death or Disagreement. Her
nerves are like the taut strings of
harp in wintry wind, ready to snap
at any moment; and then, hysteria.
With man the play, and only the play,
is the thing.
Snap-crack! The surprised horses,
sensitive and quick tempered as all
highly organized beings are. nearly
leaped out of the harness. Never be-
fore had their flanks received a more
unwarranted stroke of the lash. They
reared and plunged and broke into
mad gallop, which was exactly what
the rascal on the box desired. AneXpert
horseman, he gagged the strength of
the animals the moment they bolted,
and he knew that they were his. Once
the rubber-tired vehicle slid sidewise
on the wet asphalt, and he heard a
stifled scream.
He laughed, and let forth sounding
"whoop," which nowise allayed the
fright Of the women inside the car
riage. He wheeled into street, scrap
ing the curb as he did so. Pedestrians
stopped and stared at him. A police
man waved his club helplessly, even
hopelessly. On, on: to Warburton's
mind this ride was as wild as that
which the Bishop of Vannes took from
Belle-Tsle to Paris in the useless effort
to save Fouquet from the wrath Of
Louis XIV, and to anticipate the preg-
nant discoveries of one DArtagnan.
The screams were renewed.
ITO Be Continued
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
ADprecinted.

"You bet" says the man from the
Chilkoot pass, there never was a paper
that was hailed with as much joy as
that copy of yours that had all that ar
ticle about alcohol in patent medi-
cines."
81 am very glad to hear from such
a far-away corner of the earth that
my efforts have been appreciated"
says the editor of the journal which
has published the article referred to.
1T was all the goods-it sure cheered
the boys up; an here's a subscription
from every one of them in return.
Why, say podner, when your paper
come to town it was just two days
after Two-Toothed Tompkins had
broke through the ice with his whole
winter stock of whisky, an if we
hadn't found out about them medicines
bein' good to drink we'd "a had to go
dry all winter. An bein' as l own
the drug store you can see how thank
full / feel lords you."-Judge
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
THE LIVE STOCK.

Poor fences make coed jumpers.
Clean COWS result from proper stab
ling.
Feed, from the hand of the master,
fattens.
The new stable should have several
windows.
The cow holds her own in all kinds
of times.
Anything irregular affects the per-
centage of butter fats.
If the horse has sore shoulders, it
is a pretty sure sign that his collar
does not fit him.
A new milker will at first get less
milk from cow than one to whom
the animal is accustomed.
Culls and ewes that do not own or
rear their lambs properly, may be-
turned off in the same way.
Old sheep should now be separated
from the rest of the flock and given
extra care. They can be improved in
flesh and sent to market, where some
return can be realized from them
Farm Journal.
If you keep three or more cows it
will pay you to have cream sep
arator Before buying, send for the
catalogue of all the makes you find
advertised. 1t will pay you to inves-
tigate this qUestion.
Every man that has a large number
OF hogs should endeayor TO give them
q good pasture. TOO many breeders
are contented with a hog pasture that
is covered with native grasses only.
C!oyers and blue grass make a good
pasture fOl swine.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
Getting u Confession.

Just as a certain Sunday school of
the town was about TO be dismissed
the other day. little Girl with roguish
eyes sat up in her seat OF the back
row and took notice. Teacher" said
she with the eravest expression, which
is right. 4 is a fool or I are q rool'?"
Teache- looked both grievod and sur
prised ond replied on the instant. -
am a fool Is right my dear'" Whore
upon the whole school passed from tit.
ters 10 the loudest Of unrestrained mcr-
Naturalization. (Mol Journal.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31

been having heavy backache and
my general health was affected when
began using them. My feet were
swollen, my eyes puffed. and dizzy
spells were frequent. Kidney action
was irregular and the secretions high
ly colored. To-day, however, am a
well woman. and I am confident that
Doan's Kidney Pills have made me
so, and are keeping me we'll"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-M Milburn Co. Buffalo. n. Y.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
Heduction by Analogy.

Mamma, Ise got a stomach ache"
said Nelly BLY,, six years old.
That's because you've been with
out lunch It's because your stomach
IS empty. You would feel better II
you had something In It,"
That afternoon the pastor called,
and IN the course Of conversation, re-
marked that hc had been sufferins all
day with a very severe headache.
That's because It Is empty" said
Nellie. You'd feel much hottcr II
you had something In it."-American
Spectator.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
CHAPTER VI.
THE MAN ON THE BOX.

LIZ WNN DN ITII TJN-
At 1890 he locked up his book and
took to his room the mysterious bundle
which he had purloned from the sta
bles. It contained the complete livery
Of groom. The clothes fitted rather
snugly especially across the shoulders.
He stood before the pier-elass, and a
complacent 'not 10 say roguishl smile
fitted across his face. Tho blacl, half
boots. the white docsHn breechos. the
brown -buttoned frock, and the
white hat with the brown cockadc
Wen my word for it. he was
the handsomest iehu Washington ever
turned out With a grin he touched
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31

the bottom and IA inches at the top.
The pieces b are cut one foot square
To use the box, explains the Farm
and Home, strings are laid across, as
shown by dotted lines. Then the fleece
IS placed upon the center piece and
the edges folded in. The two sides, a,
are drawn upright in position and
then the two sides, b, are forced up
ward and in until they are perpen-
dicular. The small clamp, C, may
then be hooked over the sides to hold
them solid. The fleece may then be
brought down into the box and the
strings tied. 1t makes compact bun
die and leaves the wool even upon the
outside.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
scisnca in LOG Raising

The fact that we have been able 10
make money ont OF hogs even with tho
most unscionridc methods of breeding
and care Is proof that under proper
conditions the hog viii make his own.
er rich. Scientific management means
the care OF swine 10 keep away al.
seasc. obtain carly maturity aud keep
up the natural lecurdity ul tlu an.
mals.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31

and other kidney
ills, will find COM
fort in the words
of Mrs. Jane Far
rell, of 606 Ocean
Ave, Jersey City,
N. j., who says:
81 reiterate all I
have said before in
praise of Doan's
Kidney Pills. | had
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
LIVESTOCK IL l:!ll
- )
~rSFt, IN ES+z9 =
}AEGtrF4T TE73
A WOOL-TYING BOX.
Convenient Device Which Aids the
Small Shipper in Market
ing His Wool.

A very useful device for tying feeces
In a compact bundle is hown in IL
lustration. 1t is made of one-inch
boards hinged together on a central
square piece. This is one foot square
and the sides a are three feet long at
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-05-31
TWICE-TOLD TESTIMONY.

A Woman Who Has Suffered Tells
How to Find Relief.
The thousands of women who suffer
backache, languor, urinary disorders