davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New York Press.
4 man could afford to give ten times
as valuable an engagement ring if it
vas sure TO be broken off.
1t would be qualification to have an
artist in the family if he could provide
his own bread and butter.
If man could marry rich wife as
often as he can go TO the race track he
might win something some day.
a girl thinks you are mighty slow if
you don't try to nirt with her, and says
you are mighty fast IL you do.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01
About Persons.

f. Perry Thomas, state senator from
Barbour, Is registered at the Florence
hotel. He is candidate for president
opposition.
Superintendent of Education Isaac w.
Hill was in birmingham yesterday, leav-
ing in the afternoon for Bibb county.
Mr.. Hill states that after this visit to
Bib, he will have visited every county
in the state. 1T took me -four years TO get
to them ALL said Mr.. Hill. ''but l finally
succeeded, even il it was towards the
end of my administration
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01
A LARGE CORPORATION.

From the Minneapolis Tribune.
An old lady travelling for the, first time
IN large city saw a glaring sign on
the front of high building, which read !:
'"rhe Smish Manufacturing company"
As she repeated it aloud slowly she
remarked to her nephew:
Laws mercy. Wei, I've heard tell of
Smiths all my life, but | never knew
before where they made en-"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01
Casualties of EXPLOSION.

Dortmand, Germany, November s0.-A
revised list of the casualties resulting
from the explosion November 2s at the
Witten Ruburite factory shows that thir-
~ persons were killed, sixty-two severely
injured and $50 less seriously hurt.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

A Pennsylvania octogenarian claims
that he married his Young wife to
warm his feet. He was arrested for
beating her the other day and is prob,
ably sorry that he didn't try hot
brick
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01
THAUMATURGY.

The witching hour of the night.
Is when a soft and mellow light
Streams full upon the printed page
And favored author doth engage.
Your thoughts, relating, blow for blow,
A conquest of the long ago,
When chivalry was bold and free
And knights were famed for gallantry,
Until, beneath the magic spell
OF one who knew his art so well,
The sordid present slips away
And, living in a bygone day,
You meet again, in song and story
The old time love- the old time glory.
Boni would go on the stage. He might
play an engagement at the monkey house.
OF course the President compliments the
navy. Didn't 1t just give him a free ride?
November is a bob-tailed month, any
way, and we are glad 1t is gone.
The wife of IAN aeronaut never knows
when her husband is going to drop in
through the roof.
Sixty-nine Pittsburg councilmen are in
volved in bribery The number is, OF
course, three times twenty-three.
BORED.
When we crate
The time doth fly.
When others talk
1t just drags by.
The last Thanksgiving poem is writ.
for 1906. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Senator Dolliver is being sued by a
tailor for $500 due on two suits made
thirty years ago. We'd like 10 know
how the Senator managed 10 stand him
off so long.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Id like to see an auto car
That wouldn't run me down,
I'd like to see a married man
Who never wore a frown.
Id like to see a servant girl
Who never changed her place
And any other sort of girl
Who never challzed her face.
I'd like to see a fellow have
The frolic of his life
Whenever he went shopping with
His thrifty little wife.
I'd like to see a senator
Who'd dare resign his job,
I'd like to see an heiress who
Would jilt titled snob.
I'd like to see a wealthy man
Who'd give his wealth away
And wouldn't make racket in
The papers every day.
I'd like to see a suit of clothes
That never would wear out,
I'd like to see a demagogue
Who never heard a shout.
I'd like to see a neighbor who
Was all we could desire,
I'd like to see youngster who
Was never at a fire.
Id like to see a church affair
That wasn't a Success"
Altho the money taken in
Was thirty cents or less.
I'd like to see a man who says
That he can let it be
And does it, stead of drinking till
He gets his rtwenty-three.
I'd like. to see a motorman
Who had a pleasant smile,
I'd like to see an optimist
Be cheerful all the while
I'd like to see tailor bill
That never would fall due,
I'd like to see a woman sad
Because her hat was new.
I'd like to see a lot of things
So far denied to me-
Unusual, unhuman things
/ guess I'll never see.
How we thrill when we read that
lone bandit did it, instead of simply
,andit!
ADVICE TO MAIDS.
Young lady, don't grab at the first pail
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

and say. Its mine, because I found it,"
but wait until sure enough man comes
along. He may not be as Johnny on-the-
spot as the other kind, but he will be
there when the other one has made you
tired and passed on.-Atmore Spectrum.
BEFORE AND AFTER TAKING.
Before.
Dearest
After.
"Old girl
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Senators Crane and Lodge both ia.
vor biennial elections, and Massachu.
sets will probably drop ont of the list
of states that hold annual elections
electing a governor every year.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

milk and Fairbanks, health and Fair
banks, are one and inseparable. Every
blade of grass, every bag of Shorts"
every honest thirst, is Fairbanks BOOM
Ell. Who can knock out nature?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

President Joseph Smiths forty-third
Child was greeted with fine of $500
1t is better to promote, never to check,
race suicide in Utah
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Hammond, Ind, has a school teacher
who is SO pretty that everybody falls
in love with her and she can't hold her
job. She might try musical comedy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01
PRESS POINTS

| Memphis Commercal-Appeal: We are
going to have our Christmas gifts charged
to us early this year.
| Atlanta Constitution: Chorus of Pres-
Dental candidates; "Wait for the wagon,
and we'll all grease the wheelsr'
Richmond Times-Dispatch: The unfavor-
| able opinions which Secretary Shaw
formed of Pittsburg appear to have been
thoroughly reciprocated.
Knoxville Sentinel The University of
| Tennessee football team that left for Biz
mingham yesterday ought to be thank
full If they get back home with their lives.
Washington Post: Emperor William is
not the only man holding down a thank
less job. There are several United States
senators who consider themselves in a
similar fix.
Chattanooga Times: Senator Beverdge
talks like politician in whose state
there are no cotton factories or other
concerns in which youthful labor can
possibly be employed.
Washington Herald: A New Jersey min
lister asked for a raise in salary on ac-
count of the added expense of n type
writer The deacons raised row about
it, until the pastor meekly explained that
he had married her.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

1t took Birmingham long time 10
get Olga Nethersole in "Sapho," but
the two are due next week.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

II the Standard Oil octopus should
be dissolved, John ID. would be able to
buy it all up and thus keep it under
the parental roof.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

When a man says he has something
you need it is dollars to doughnuts
that he has something to sell.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Knocko, the Central park monkey
that figured in the Caruso case, Is
dead. The shock was too great for his
constitution.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Two newsboys fought on Nineteenth
street, as newsboys often do. Before
decision could be rendered officers ar
rived on the scene. As two bold police
men marched off with the culprits tear
fully protesting, an urchin on the CUT
skirts of the crowd began to sing, I'D
Rather Be On the Outside Looking In,
Than On the Inside Looking Out"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

The three best press agents are
those employed by Caruso, Senator
Tillman and Anna Held.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Chauncey M. Depew hopes his
friends will hereafter throw bouquets
instead of ink bottles at him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

When Governor Beckham, Ken
tucky's boy prodigy, enters the Sen
ate he will be but "a years old
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

The monkeys deny THAI Caruso is
descended from them.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Captain Ijams told one thousand
jokes. and the court awarded him
$5050. The millionaire he told them 60
is dead
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Senator Platt can delight the coun-
try by filling up the resignation blank
that is now before him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

From the list of casualt -es il is ev:-
dent that football could stand trif'e
more debrutalizing.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

The increased cost of living is not
so interesting now as the increased
cost of Christmas presents.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

The grand opera stage in New York
thriyes from occurrences in the mon
key-house in the New York Zoo.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Mr.. Gompers has served the Fedora
been elected to serve another year.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Caruso's park manners are too Euro
pean to suit this climate.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Elect Hughes seems 70
think that he who is elected governor
has a right to be governor In fact.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

After the horse show comes tie
horseless show--the automobiles and
the gasoline odor.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

The December magazines assure us
that Christmas is coming.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Yales profits from football this sea.
son foot up $65,000.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01
BEFORE AND AFrT

We would suggest that the chapter in
the history of the Panama canal devoted
to President Roosevelt's visit be written
in red ink and printed in rubrics.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Senator Depew wants everybody &c
notice how peart he is.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Will the Presidents message actual.
ly be Brandermatthewized
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

The spell of government by wireless
was not hurtful.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

1t appears that Plat was also an
easy boss at home. He was too easy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

When Peary ate dog he did it know.
ingly. 1t was not put up in Chicago.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

The dictionary makers should boost
Grover Cleveland for the Senate.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

President Roosevelt filled the Porto
Ricans with hopes of statehood.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Atlanta Constitution: Chorus of Presi-
Dental candidates; "Wait for the wagon
and We'll all grease the wheels!'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Such smiling rouges as these,
Like rats, oft bite the holy chords
atWain,
Which are too ntrinse t. uniocse.
King Lear,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Memphis Commercial-Appeal: We are
going to have our Christmas gifts charged
to us early this year
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Montgomery Times: Birmingham Is
short of sand. Why not just set the brakes
and let her slide?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Boni would go on the stage. He might
play an engagement at the monkey house.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Pine Belt News Watch the fur fly
when Senator Vardaman rubs UP against
the Fifteenth amendment.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

OF course the President compliments the
navy. Didn't 1t just give him a free ride?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

| hammond, lnu., mas ScaOoi ledcnSi
who is SO pretty that everybody falls
in love with her and she can't hold heI
job. She might try musical comedy.
-s4
Knocko, the Central park monkey
that figured in the Carrlso case, is
dead. The shock was too great for his
constitution.
Captain Ijams told one thousand
jokes, and the court awarded him
$505O. The millionaire he told them &c
| is dead
Goyernor-Elect Hughes seems &C
think that he who is elected governor
has a right to be governor In fact.
Mr. Gompers has served the Fedora
ton of Labor 25 years, and he has just
been elected to serve another year.
-.s.--
The grand opera stage in New York
thrives from occurrences in the mon.
key-house in the New York Zoo.
tucky's boy prodigy, enters the Sen
ate he will be but 81 years old
Chauncey M. Depew hopes his
friends will hereafter throw bouquets
instead of ink bottles at him.
The increased cost of living is not
SO interesting now as the increased
cost of Christmas presents.
1t took Birmingham a long time 10
get Olga Nethersole in "Sapho," but
the two are due next week.
The three best press agents are
those employed by Caruso, Senator
Tillman and Anna Held.
Senator Platt can delight the coun-
try by filing up the resignation blank
that is now before him.
-s.-
After the horse show comes the
horseless show--the automobiles and
the gasoline odor.
1t appears that Plat was also an
easy boss at home. He was too easy
-s.----
When Peary ate dog he did it know
ingly. 1t was not put up in Chicago.
The dictionary makers should boost
Grover Cleveland for the Senate.
President Roosevelt filled the Porto
Ricans with hopes of statehood.
Will the Presidents message actual.
ly be Brandermatthewized
The December magazines assure us
that Christmas is coming.
Caruso's park manners are too Euro
pean to suit this climate.
The monkeys deny THAI Caruso is
descended from them.
Yale's profits from football this sea-
son foot up $65,000.
-----.s.----------
The spell of government by wireless
was not hurtful.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Montgomery Times: Most men die poor
without first being compelled to give away
much good money
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

ADVICE TO MAIDS.
Young lady. don't grab at the first pair
of good looking clothes that comes along
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala. post
office as second class matter under act
of Congress March 8. 1879
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-12-01

Daily and Sunday Age-Herald. $500
Daily and Sunday per month";. 10
Sunday Age-Herald. per annum zoo
Weekly Age Herald. per annum. LOU
Subscriptions payable in advance.
The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1906-04-12
Bowling Green Items.

l guess, all are glad to know
that the farmers, the backbone of
the world, are prosperous this
year We have shipped a good
many vegetables from here this
week. If our country prospers we
all prosper
Labor is increasing here and
bulldog is improving. d,
The Christian Disciples of Christ
are holding services here now.
There are several in town who
are on the sick list this week, your
scribe, his wife and several others.
1t is getting quite dry in town
now. A good shower would help
our community and especially the
vegetables very much.
Our town is flooded with our
country citizens nowadays.
The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1906-04-12
Presbyterian Church.

Services the first and third Sun,
days in each month.
Prayer Meeting Wednesday
evenings following the first and
third Sundays,
Sunday School at 10 a. m.
Mr. Keigwin will begin his
regular pastoral work in Punta
Gorda in connection with Arcadia
on the fourth Sunday, April %,
and will remain a whole week in
each place,
The fifth Sunday will be given
in Arcadia.
He goes this week to spend a
few days in Orlando, and Satur-
day, Sunday and Monday will at
tend the State Christian Endeavor
Convention in Winter Park, having
a place on the programme for
Monday.
The report of the church to
Presbytery which met in Punta
Gorda last Tuesday and Wednes-
day was in some respects en-
couraging The little band of
forty-three members reported
funds raised and pledged during
the year to the amount of nearly
S6OO-which if calculated per
capita, is nearly S14 apiece,
Seven prizes have been awarded
.Or regular attendance at Sunday
school which had doubled the
of classes during the year.
The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1906-04-12
Irish Potatoes.

R. E. Smedley shipped a car Of
Irish potatoes to New York Satur,
day They came off from his two
acre patch and were as fine as you
ever saw.
On the two acres he got l12
barrels or 335 bushels of potatoes,
IS barrels of which were fancy.
On the same day J. P. Hendry
shipped a car to Philadelphia.
Mr.. Hendry is busy this week
shipping more.
Mr.. Smedley treated us to a
mess OF the potatoes grown on his
place and we speak from personal
knowledge when we say they were
fine
The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1906-04-12

We are proud to report that the
Arcadia CHAMPION, one of the
brightest and cleverest papers in
the summer land, has undergone
the ordeal ola glorious resurrection.
Edited by Mrs. Neva c. Child, a
w. c. 7. I. woman of remarkable
ability, it comes to us weekly
pure, fearless and clever and true
to its name it champions the rights
OF humanity in all forms as hei
clear vision recognizes them
Bellona Brown Ravens, editor w.
c. 7. u Column, in St. Petersburg
Independent.
The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1906-04-12

Lee county with TT. Myers as
its capital went wet" by three
majority, If all those who claim
to love humanity had voted dry it
would easily have carried for pro-
hibition, and DeSoto county would
have cause to rejoice as we'll as Lee,
for DeSoto is principally supplied
with jugs from Lee,
The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1906-04-12

AT the request oil my many friends | have con.
sented to enter the race for representative OF
| DeSOto county in the next Florida Legislature
and take this opportunity of soliciting The votes
OF the citizens Of the county in the approaching
I Democratic primary election
! AS Will not have the opportunity Of seeing
and talking with each individual personally I
deem itproper that should define my position
ON some OF the more important issues Of the
campaign
AM opposed to division Of DeSoto county,
for the reason that am opposed to a high tax
alton. consider Il more economical to maintain
the present county government than to establish
and MAINTAIN two additional ones also with
the same source OF revenue,
shall favor the repeal Of the Drainage Act
passed By the Legislature Of 1905 rs an arbitrary
Unfair and unjust measure which If enforced
viii become burden of taxation upon the people
OF the state.
l am in favor Of the Educational Law known
as the Buchanan Bill and will oppose any effort
to interfere with the location Of the State
University at Gainesville,
Having been born and reared within the
boundaries OF DeSoto county, all my interest be-
lug here, II am honored with the nomination
and election shall be found working for the
measures which 1 believe to be for the best
interest OF the state as whole and DeSoto
county in particular,
With honesty Of purpose equal rights 10 ali
and special privileges TO none" solicit the
votes OF my friends and the people OF me
county regardless Of section or community.
Very respectfully,
w. Il. HOOKER
The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1906-04-12

Sun, BY Edward Fitzgerald, says
this of Mr.. Appleyard:
Another entry has been made
in the race for Railroad Com
missioners, and if the last, by no
means is it the least Thomas j.
Appleyard, editor of the Lake City
Index and one of the best known
men in Florida, More humor for
the campaign, but in material
sense, as Mr.. Appleyard declares
that he will be the best-natured
candidate that ever solicited a vote.
The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1906-04-12

County division would be an
expensive luxury to every section
of DeSoto county. Just how
much it will cost will be carefully
estimated and put before the voters
in convenient and indisputable
form just as soon as the committee
appointed for that purpose can
compile the necessary data, from
the county records, and other
equally reliable sources.
The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1906-04-12

Arcadia is a unit against county
division. This fact was broadly
emphasized by the rousing meeting
against the measure on last Thurs
day night. There are a whole lot
of people in all sections of the
county who will stand with Ar.
cadia on this platform. This also
was shown by representative men
from a number of outlying pre-
cincts who were also present and
expressed their opposition to
county division.
The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1906-04-12

On Sunday night the house of Jake
simmons, near Pine Level, was burned
also another shack close by. The fire
was supposed to be set by enemies of the
old man.
The Arcadia Hardware Co. will occupy
the east side of the new Daniels con-
crete stone building on Oak street, now
IN course of erection. They have leased
Ooth the first and second floors, which
VII make a convenient and centrally
located home for their thriving hardware
business.
The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1906-04-12
For Sheriff.

To THE VOTERS OF DEsoTo COUNTY;
hereby announce myself as a candidate for
reelection as Sheriff Of DeSoto county subject to
the democratic primaries, to fill the office for the
next ensuing two years. / was elected for four
years, but through some mistake. my bond to
qualify for my regular term Of four years did not
reach me in time 10 file same in the legal time
required by law. / would appreciate the support
OF all the voters Of our county Will say that l
have done my best since have been In Office to
put down crime Of all kinds in this county, and
II reelected will continue on the same line
A. c. FREEMAN
The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1906-04-12

10 rHH YorRRs or DEsoro coUsrs
Rs request OF many friends. / beFe9,, ~ q
hoard for S pistries NO ~ subject 70 90
and regulations 81 ihe Democratic pfnn "a if.,l
held May 18th promise II eieclen erlidd
schools with the respect that they w i,;ca 10 "
and also endcator 10 honor The posl.'S-
, S ~ 'e''N' Il. b. McctblN