The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-06-16

IT n VERONA, a dago town,
N once lived two way-up famil-
/ III. les, the Montagues and the
Capulets. They had come
originally from Kentucky,
for the fued that was between them
was the limit. When any of the other
people of the town saw two members
of the rival families getting within
gun range of each other, they squatted
and scooted for cover like d prairie
dog caught ten feet off his base.
There was sure to be an ambulance
call within five minutes. The bad
blood was shared by Mr.. and Mrs.
Giuseppe Capulet, and everybody
down to the janitor of the fiat where
they lived, and ditto in the family
of Ignace Montague. There was good
cause for this quarrel, though they
had all forgotten how It started.
The Capulets had a girl whose pic.
ture had been in three of the maya
zines and two Sunday newspapers.
Her name was Juliet, and the whole
tribe of relatives was worried because
julie was nearly fourteen and wasn't
married 1t sure was a shame to see
old age creeping over that girl and
her still a spinster. But pa was busy
arranging to annex her to a count
named Paris, proprietor of the factory
where the famous plaster named for
him was made. julie wasn't foolish
about him. She remarked one day to
her nurse:
mi have to be plumb down and out
before | take the count
Which jest was lost on nursey, as
she knew nothing OF pugilism. The
Montagues had a boy named Romeo, a
well set-up buckle who was exceeding
ly popular with all his folks, including
himself. His chums had been kidding
him about a frappe Flossie named
Rosaline that Romeo had been appar-
emily sweet on. But all the while on
the quiet Rosaline hadn't been one
two-seven. With the youthful pig
headedness that comes under the cap
ton of what Goethe called the total
depravity of inanimate things" Rome
Montague and julie Capulet had taken
shine to each other that was away
to the ardent. Rome had been in the
habit of writing rhymes for Puck and
Judge, and for the serious magazines
which are good deal funnier because
they don't know it, so when he fell
in love he had case of it that defied
medical skill. Juliet Capu-let" rhym-
ed just bully, and he couldn't get
away from it. Dan Cupid had plugged
him with an arrow about three sizes
too large for his system, and he was
suffering from an acute case of emo
tional gangrene. He sat around and
cried as if he had been drinking mix
ed ones half the night. His laundry
bills were mostly for hankies. And
when they joshed him about Rosaline
it gagged him.
"Rosaline" he said, ''is almost as
handsome as Norman Hapgood or
Charles Battell Loomis.'
Which would have started another
fued, if Rosaline's folks had ever seen
either of the gentlemen in question.
But there was no safe place for julie
or Rome to spoon or even to paaley-
VOC like common friends. Though they
were plumb gone on each other, yet
they were officially foes, and had to
keep up the family traditions.
One day Giuseppe Capulet sent an
idiot servant of his out with a list of
names, saying, Invite that bunch of
people to a little masquerade up at
our house Saturday night"
How the old man ever come to make
such a silly mistake, don't know, for
the servant couldn't any more read
than the average elocutionist can.
So, all that was left for him to do
was to loaf around the street until
he found somebody who could make