davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
THE SPRING PRIMER.

From the Commoner
Do you see the Man?
Yes, l see the man.
The Man has some things upon his
Shoulders
Yes. so see. But what are they?
They are Garden Tools, my Son.
What is the Man Con-tem- plating?
That is large word. my Som but l am
glad you have Surrounded it. The Man
Con-tem-pates doing much Garden Work.
viii he do it?
Yes, he will do much Garden work. In
a way.
In what way?
He will spend the time from now until
the Ground is Workable planning out his
Garden.
The Man will Evidently do a great
deal of work.
Yes. my son. But most of It will be In
his Mind
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
THE EYES OF ANIMALS.
Some Results of Recent investigations
BY British Scientist.

From the Scientific American.
For some years past the eminent Brit
ish opthalmologst, DIR. Lindsay Johnson
has been investigating the eyes of ami
mails and has made some valuable diseov-
cries of great interest to zoology and our
knowledge of the evolution of various an
mals.
One of the most remarkable Of these
researches is a confirmationr of Darwin
theory that man is closely related to the
prlmates. From his Investigations DR..
johnson has found that the eyes of all
the apes, including man. are practically
identical. Each has the highly complex
system of veins and arteries and the di-
rect or parallel vision.
According TO this authority, the dog
has two ancestors, one round eyed and
the oval eyed. The first is the hyena and
the latter the bear through the raecoon.
All animals exposed to chase by enemies,
such as the hare, rabbit and squirrel, can
see all around. and all the rodentia squint.
The lower an animal in the scale the
further is its eye from parallel vision
According to this authority also, the cor
pus niger. or black body of pigment, in
the eye of the horse, which has. proved
such a source of speculation to the natur-
alist, veterinarians and biologists. re-
veals through the opthalmoscope new
means Of tracing the ancestry and rela-
tionship of the horse. The eye curtain
l. precisely the same as that which is
found in all tropical animals, such as the
omega camel, antelope, etc, and fnlfills
one important function-the protection OF
the eye from sunlight.
One result of DIR. Johnson's researches
will necessitate a reelassihcation In one
section of zoology.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Mossbury and the bride of day and
an eventful night came out of the bat
tie uninjured. The elder Mossbury
came out of It. not only wounded in
the leg, but in his feelings, and he pro-
poses to follow the serenaders with
writs both civil and criminal. Perry
opolis is stirred to the center, and Har-
risburg and the only Pennypaeker
should not be wholly unmoved. The
forty of Perryopolis, all prominent
young society men. are to be corralled
in court. where they will have an OPP
portunity to pay lawyers fees at any
rater
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
Greater Birminqham's industries.

The returns of manufacturers sta
tistics for Greater Birmingham which
Congressman Underwood induced Di-
rector North to make public In advance
of the regular publication of the figures
for this state. is an improvement on
the Birmingham bulletin recently is
sued, because they show that we have
16,O40 wage earners, a gain of q per
cent in five years, and that our prod
ucts have gone up nearly AZ per cent
aggregating last year $37S3767S But
these facts are far below the truth.
The fault. however, lies not so much
against the government as against in
dividuals who withheld without rhyme
or reason needful information.
There are many things in the report
the report puts the capital employed
at $31 ,744,S20 when the capital of one
company, the Tennessee Coal and Iron,
about equals that amount, and its capt.
tai is almost wholly employed in
Greater Birmingham. Very little ofthe
capital of that company is still used in
Tennessee. where the company was
organized and once had large plants.
The capital invested in manufacturing
plants in Jefferson county is easily
double the sum named by the census
bureau.
The payroll of Greater Birmingham
Is reported at $7,117,655, as against
s4,313,O31 five years ago. The gain in
five years has been So per cent. A
similar gain in the second five years of
the decade would give us payroll Of
nearly $12,000,000, not including the
railroads. A community that has a
payroll of that amount in addition to
its transportation interests is certainly
not in danger of starvation. Beyond
l
all reasonable doubt the rate of in
crease in Greater Birmingham pay
roll will be maintained right up to the
taking of the census in the year 1910.
But the.real payroll of the county is
largely in excess of the figures pre-
sented by the census bureau. In the
absence of official statistics we need
not hazard an estimate The payrols
of three furnace companies in this
county exceed the entire sum allotted
by the census bureau to the entire
county. Such figures are too far out
of the way to become the ground Of
discussion, and the best way TO dis
pose of them is to drop them alto
gether as far below the mark.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
How Can He Do II?

The Age-Herald has received a CON-
munication in relation to windy shots
in our coal mines, which is certainly
to the point, full of practically. 1t is
as follows;
"To the Editor of The Age-Herald.
Il observe a criticism of the governor
and the inspectors in the columns of The
Age-Herald, under the caption Of Windy
Shots in Two Countries.
CLOSING the editorial you say: 1t is
up to Governor Jelks to put an end to
the firing of windy shots. We want no
more of them in this district
1T has occurred TO me to ask you to
suggest some practical plan, under the
present law, whereby the governor with
the assistance of the inspectors can put
an end to the firing of windy shots.
am sure both tho governor and the inspec-
tors are open to practical suggestions
No doubt the writer of the foregoing
communication has the right end of
the subject. Governor Jelks and the
inspectors do not possess, it seems, the
power to put an end to windy shots.
Even if they should station an IN
spector at the elbows of each miner,
they could not accomplish much, be-
cause the Alabama statutes do not pre-
sent adequate penalties. In the alb
sence of close inspection evidence is
procured with difficulty, and altogether
windy shots will continue to be fired
until the legislature turns the most ap-
proved mining regulations in them into
law. Chief Mine Inspector Gray stands
ready to suggest the needed statutes
and the whole matter is up, not to
Governor Jelks, but TO the next legis
lature, which should give the miners
of Alabama the protection that expert
ence has sanctioned in the most adj
vanced coal mining districts of this and
other countries
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
About Persons.

James d. Grimes of Andalusa is at the
Metropolitan.
W. "A. Harper of Selma is at the Met
ropolitan.
Charles d. Kopp of Mobile is at the
Morris.
John A. Williamson of Montgomery is
at the Morris.
D. b. Hollistor of Decatur is at the
Morris.
Henry B. Andrews of Admission is at the
St Nicholas
james E. Wilson of Russellville is at
the Birmingham.
Dr. and Mrs. c. c. Brown of Odenville
arc at the Birmingham
W. L. Wall and v S. Roal of Hunts
vile, are at the Birmingham
Mr.. and Mrs. f. NJ. kilby of Admission
are at the Hillman
c. II. Nabb. Hoprietor of the Hotel
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
Special to the New York World.


ZOA LEvELAND.-A poll has been
W. made of the state prisons of the
- United States to determine wheth-
er they contain more actors than clergy
men, or the reverse. The result is as vet
not definite since there Is some uncertain
ty concerning the right of some of the
incarcerated persons TO be regarded either
as of the stage or of the pulpit. Upon
the face of the returns Henry E. Dixey
will apparently not be compelled to pay
the $1,000 he has promised to give to charity
II 1t were proved that there were more
actors than clergymen in prison. Never
theless, the polls indicate that he will
have to make good the $1,000 he pledged
himself to pay il there could be found
any state prison that did not have at
least one minister in custody.
Mr.. Dixey was moved to make his novel
offer by indignation on account of the ac-
tion of the Plttsburg Y. NJ c. A. in de-
clinng to receive an actor into its mem
bershlp merely upon the ground that he
was an actor. The comedian. in Offering
to give his money away defended his pro-
fession, calling attention to the manner
which the stage lightens the care Of life,
edhcates the public. is always first in
charity; to the high character and repute
of so many OF the stage folk. and to the
fact that actor is no synonym for sinner
lie compared the laughter-mal<ing mis-
sion of the actor with what he termed
the gloomy aspect of the man Of the
pulpit. declaring that as a benehcent mis-
sionary to mankind the stage was at least
as valuable as the churh.
Mr.. Dxey declared that the action of
the Pittsburg Y. NJ c. A.. was one of
bigotry He ascribed the bigotry existing
among ciereymen to their ignorance OF
lfe-of men and things-wheh leaves them
unqualified to judge clearly and without
prejudice. The actor on the contrary,
lived In the world and was constantly
holding the, mirror up to human nature
teaching great truths and correcting evils
Aside from considering men Is to whose
antecedents there is doubt, the poll of
the prison stands as follows:
Administrations clergymen, no actors.
Arzona--Two clergymen. no actors
concentrations clergyman; no actors.
CoIorado-No clergymen nor actors.
Delaware-No one Of either
F'iorda-Many colered preachers; no ac-
tors.
Georgia-seven negro preachers; no ac-
tors.
Idaho--No clersymen or actors.
Indlana-Neither actor nor clergyman
Iowa-Three actors; no clergymen.
Kansas-One negro preacher; no ac-
tors.
Kentucky-three ministers; one actor.
I.ouisiana-None of either.
MainerNeither clergyman nor actor.
Maryland-No clergymen: one actor, a
minstrel.
Observation-Disclosures profession repre-
scented.
Michigan-one actor; one clergyman
Minnesota-Three actors; one clergy
man.
Montana-One clergyman.
Mjssouri-One actress; no clergymen
Nebra ska-Two clergymen expected; no
actors.
New Jersey-Four ministers: no actors.
New Hampshre-E ENTIRELY out of both.
New Mexico. North Carolina, North Da-
kota. oklahoma oregon, Pennsylvania
South Dakota-None Of either.
Rhode Island-one Clergyman no .ac-
tors
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
MATTERS OF THE TIMES

~ LOUISIANA justice says that po-
WIN ker is the most famous game of
chance in America The state-
ment is not open to argument. for the
simple reason that poker Is as much a ma
tional institution as baseball and graft.
1t has place in song and story: II has a
literature all its own and Is a feature of
public life. No game attracts more inter-
ested spectators than poker. none, has
ruined more men than poker and no story
is read more eagerly than a poker story.
What boots It that two-thirds OF the poker
stories are pure romance. rivaling the
tales Of Baron Munchauset ?? It is the
kind Of game that lends itself to imagina-
~ iackpots and maginary adventures on
the green cloth A fond reader thinks he is
RECALLING himself with an incident Of the
early steamboat days on the Mississippi
when in. reality he is absorbing the idle
vaporlngs of a newspaper space-writer
who wouldn't know the Mississippi if he
should fall into it. Great is poker and
great is the poker story. be it truth or fic-
ton. Both are destined to live long and to
dominate the thoughts of many men, in
the United States, at any rate.
REFORMATION IN JOIO.
Said gallant General Leonard Wood
81 know way to make them good''
Six hundred Moros then he slew.
And Teddy said That's good for YOU"
1t appears that Judge Parker is not ex-
citing enough for the sturdy Mississippi
ans accustomed to Vardaman and Judge
Lynch. He has impressed the whole coun-
try as being rather quiet No wonder the
gallant and hot-headed citizens of Miss
issipp squirmed while he read them from
manuscript a carefully written speech,
couehed in the purest English.
An express messenger In recent train
wreck pasted his wounds together with
postage stamps and went to the assistance
OF the passengers. That is the sort of
man who leads a bloody. charge and wins
or dies in the fight.
RAINING.
The rain came down all over the town.
The world was soggy and damp and
brown.
The cutters ran rivers, the streets were
all mud
And night tumbled down with a sckening
thud.
Judge" Hamilton has nothing to give
up and nothing to give out.
A new versions: I'D rather be rich than
President
The Louisville Herald has an editorial
on THE Conquest of Florida Thought
that had already been accomplished by
Henry NJ. Flagler
Let us welcome the expression good
fellow money into the dictionary of
modern idioms. Good fellow" money is
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
H. B. carse.

Among the prominent visitors in Biz
mingham this week is IL r. Carse as
sistant cashier of the Hanover National
bank of New York and a large stock
holder of the Birmingham Realty COM
pany. MIR. Carse expressed qualification
at Birmingham strides. He said last
night that the city had gone forward
more rapidly even than he had expected
and for ten years past he had been one
of Birmingham most ardent prophets
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New York Press
A man can hardly ever afford to be well
dressed If his family is.
\ girl calls Il being in love when man
asks her to play tennis with him.
The trouble with happiness is there are
too many people to divide it up among.
When woman doesn't mind tobacco
smoke in the house it is a sign she ism t
telling the truth.
II makes a woman awful nervous about
the baby to read that there is an cpl
demic of something in India.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Hillman, has returned from New York,
where he and Mrs Nabb spent several
weeks.
E. d. Reynolds of Blocton is at the
Hillman.
Mr. and Mrs. E. D. DeFunlak Of Mont
gomery are at the Hillman.
Walter Dean Nealand, business mama
ger of "rhe Yankee Consul was in Biz
mingham yesterday.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
ON SPRING.

From the Louisiana Courier-Journel
one of the most beautiful poems on
Spring" 'xnown to literature, was
written by a South Carolinian, Henry
Timrod. Timrod is no more. but South
Carolina still has sons who can feel
the stir and pulse and promptings Of
spring. Thus the editor of the Greer
weather for the last ten days makes
one feel like taking a real full-length
bath -
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
WHO ARE MORE WICKED.
ACTORS OR CLERGYMEN7

South Carolina-No actors; no white
ministers.
Tennessee-Four clergymen; no actors.
Texas-Nine cergymen: six actors.
utah-Never had one of either profess
sion.
Vermont-Four actors; one clergyman.
Virginia-One preacher dark; no ac-
tors.
actors.
Wiseonsn-Nit.
Wyoming-No preachers; once had an ac-
tor.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
MetropoIitan City.

Herbert Duce of New York is at the
Birmingham. Il like Birmingham SAID
MIR Dnee. "and If had to exchange my
place of residence | would elect this city.
| first saw Birmingham five years ago.
1t was a fourishing city then, but today
1t is much more Of a metropolitan center
l would say at glance that Birmingham
had population of fully 100000. In ten
years from now it will have population
of 200 ,oo0"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Charles NJ Schwab is i'll when the
public pays no attention to him and his
movements. He straightway does some
thing to bring himself back in the pub
lie eye.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
RIGHT NOTE.

From the Florida times Union.
The birmingham Age-Herald certainly
sounds The right note when it says that
"Absolutism is creeping in at Washington,
where the postoffice department has decid-
ed to tax farmers papers by making them
pay higher rates of postage
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

A Chicago motorman arrested two
women on his car for using profane
language that shocked his sweetheart.
Perfect ladies should do their swear
ing at home after sending the children
ont
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

The new Standard Oil investigation,
and Commissioner Coclrell's anger
will drive Rockefeller further away.
He may never come back unless Gen
eral Cockrell's anger is appeased
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
A Graceful WRITER.

From the Hazel Green Herald.
Miss Effe Davis a graceful writer
will hereafter send items in place of Miss
Risa WILLIS. who has thown up the
lob
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
NOR IN eREAD.MAkINe. EITHER.

From the Louisville Hearald.
If the new woman knows more than her
mother it is certainly not in the pie-build-
ing line
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
NO DEFENSE.

From the, Savannah Press.
There have been seven patents on the
umbrella There is none that protects it
from the umbrellaless man.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
NOT IN THE LEAST.

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
Some people are becoming alarmed
over feminine aggression" Is it any
thing new?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
MARVEL EXPLAINED.

mothers club, they do relate,
Once held a big election
And every officer was named
Without the least detection.
There was no noise and strife at all,
No sound of gentle knocking,
No words Of rash and hot abuse
No conduct rude and shocking.
Now that's the story people tell,
But knowing persons say
The mothers didn't wait to fuss
1t was a bargain day.
PATTI, COOK
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

A man is suing for $4,000 damages
because he was called CRATER. He
should congratulate himself that he
was not investigated.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Mount Dajo has been assimilated.
pacified and annexed. But no one
wants cemetery in which women and
children we're slaughtered.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
MIR. BULLDOG.

He has way of sticking to
The thing in hand he wants to do.
Just emulate his forceft1l way
The chances are you'll win the fray.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

The country never had at one time
three humorists as good as Mark
Twain, George AIDE and Peter Dunno,
all living and all full of excellent humor.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Princess Ena will be a June bride, by
two-days margin, and it doesn't matter
whether she can make them like mother
used to make or not. That's what the
royal chef is for.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

1t would appear that there is a well
defined movement on foot to shelve
Secretary Taft by putting him on the
supreme court bench.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15
QUIET Ed

From the Montgomery Journal
Uncle Sam won't be troubled with the
Moros that were killed.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

medium for mixing" as it were. sort
of lubricant for the machinery of monop-
olies.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

nounced innocent of all bad intent, is
still kept In Jail.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Russia and John Alexander Dowie
are just about at the end of their bor-
rowing capacity.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Some people are like oysters. They are
always getting into a. stew.
Edward Morgan, who died recently OF
heart disease, was capable actor of the
depressed" school and was well known
to Birmingham theatre-goers. He was a
student and there was an intellectually in
his performance that was refreshing in
contrast with much of the so-cailed act
ing done today. Edward Morgan had a
future that might have been brilliant had
not death cut short his career.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Secretary Taft is hesitating between
sure judgeship and an uncertain
presidency.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Cleveland does not desire naughty
posters, but the chances are that some
of her citizens enjoy them.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

"Superse revenged themselves on
Wilton Lackaye in washington by
"queerings the pit scene. They
wanted more pay.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Before Mr.. Taft takes his seat on
the supreme bench it would be wise to
do a little foundation work.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

The telephone has just celebrated
the thirtieth anniversary of its advent
in the world.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Mr.. Taft has been asked by the
President TO turn down his own presi-
Dental boom.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

John Alexander Dowie drew sight
draft upon the Zion City bank, and 1t
was promptly turned down. So runs
the world away.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

The bosses in all the states are going
reluctantly, but they are going never
theless.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

The Caney gas well resumed illumin-
alton, and the chickens in that section
do not know when to go to roost.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

The Kaiser tells his naval recruits
to trust in heaven, but they will prob
ably do some shooting also.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Also we have heightened" graft, hon
est graft and plain old graft. All mean
the same thing. The first two salve a
frail conscience.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

TWENTY-THREE FOR HIM.
Come frolic, fair Agnes,
And say you are glad
Old Winters departing
Skiddoolng. egad.
He's packing his grip full
OF ice, sleet and snow.
His cold, frost-laden breath
VIII soon cease TO blow. u
He's ready to flicker,
His hey day Is past,
His ticket is purchased.
He's storming his last
There'll be no lamenting,
No grief and no dole
When boastful old Winter
Hikes back to the pole.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

A charivari party at Perryopolis,
Penn, was in reality well developed
riot.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

1t it bard to explain why the skating
rink is called skating auditorium" un-
less because it ls good place to hear >
racket when the roller f1ends are busy
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Observing the dictates of fashion
With its bold disregard of real grace,
And noticing straight. fronts on fair
women.
It is hard to maintain a straight face.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

Gentle Spring is very coy. She ad-
vances backwards at times.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

New York paid $1,OOO,Oo0 for grand
opera in 1904-O5 and was gold-bricked
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-15

oftentimes all a man has is on his
wife's back.