davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12
The Fellow who Knock..

The Fellow Who Knocks.
Now. here is toast. May it thrice react
On the somber visaged duffer,
With face DER long and with brain half
cracked,
Who maketh us all to suffer!
May the little red devils chase him, all,
On their redhot racks to break him,
While we drink ono toast, though It be az
gall.
To the fellow who knocks-deucs take
Your business and mine at times may lag,
But his tongue wags forever.
The craft that he sails floats the black,
black flag;
His motto: Crush all endeavor!"
May the little red devils-but that was
said. :
And never the words will shake him.
30 here II a toast, while we wish him
dead,
TO the fellow who knocks-deuc. take
san Francisco Call
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

LOW AND MY GUN,
ed to the edge showed that it's one time
wearer was in the ninth year of his age
wher he came to his end.
"Another trophy of the chaser" I
glanced interrogatively Mt Dane.
Eyes, IL trophy Of the chase-tle chase
after the rainbow and the heart of gold
at the end Of it. Come along for a
walk up the canyon little way, where
there's fine 1nOonrise now in course of
preparation for our special benefit, and
I'll tell you about that belt. You see,
1t belonged to my first sweetheart-I
had 1t made for her-so it's just as we'll
my wife doesn't hear me talk Of it.''
EFT tn. Brute" scoffed, but rose
and followed him as he led the way up
the great gorge at the back of the
lodge.
1T was when l first came to Mon
tana," began Dane, taking no notice Of
my comment "She lived Oh the next
ranch. She was as willful Il piece of
skirts as ever climbed crags where
nothing but goats and squaws ever be-
fore had rolled pebbles downhill. We'd
quarreled about that Carolina chap l
wrote you about once-name of Bailey.
The fellow was cad, and I'd told
Nan so in language more distinguished
Tor force than for frills. She called me
jealous, turned up her little nose at
me and firted her quirt in my direc-
ton. She'd just ridden out O. the cor
raj on her cayuse when galloped up
and our little tiff began. But it ended
In big one. She gave me go-by for
good and all, and when I'd see her aft
er that riding the cattle range she'd
be so absorbed in that long legged Car
olina sandhill crane of a Bailey that
abe didn't know was on earth at all
apparently. He did tag her for fair,
though he looked like Ichabod Crane
astride Of his Pinto. He couldn't ride
any more than Jack rabbit.
But felt pretty blue, I tell you,
those days. Big aches from little quar-.
rels grow, as the poet says, and when
a. fellows up, against that kind of
gnawing feeling at the pit Of his stom-
ach night and day like that Spartan
kid with the foxes in his apron, why,
he gets as sore headed as grizzly in
the springtime.r~I used to haul out my
gun from my belt when tramped over
these hills looking for the yellow-that
was before I'd found it-and think I'd
let the old spitfire in my face just once
and end the whole business"
No wonder his wife doesn't like to
hear the story il he had it that bad
And again my bachelor cynicism smiled
that he had so easily found consolation.
But aloud only grunted. "well?" and
smoked on.
Zone morning when was desperate
from incoming over that mink of a
girl !, was going round this very ledge.
You see how narrow 1t is even now,
though I've had the road blasted out Of
the rock above us since then. You take
notice there's a bit Of a precipice just
belowY'
II should say I didv I exclaimed,
drawing back from the brim with ten
derfoot shudder. "Your bit Of q preci-
pice' must go down sheer 500 feet II
4 IT'S an inch TO that hustling western
y torrent down there"
Dane nodded. "Not a very good Dlacs
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12
Some Phil !. o'phu
BIZ Uncle Silas
Stray Bits q Thoughts BY The Oid
Whiae1 Story About Uncle
Jim Nash.

copyright, 1906, by Mcclure, Phillips q Col
w HEN You come across a
\N/ man with sharp knife
" " in his pocket, a soft pine
single handy and plenty
Of time to loaf In, watch him. If he'd
rather sit with his hands in his pockets
than to whittle don't bank on him.
l like to see my fellow man ambi
tious. but when it comes to spending
whole week to trap woodchuck
whose hide is worth only Is cents it
seems to me that he has got of the
track a bit.
I've known at least fifty men who
could sit down and figure out that
Providence had always been ag'in 'em,
but as far as had time to investigate
found that laziness had also stuck by
'em like a brother.
When man is so rich that he doesn't
know what to do with his money he
either becomes miser and hangs on to
every cent like grim death or blossoms
out philanthropist and makes a fool
Of himself. It's even up which is the
worst
Now and then feeling comes over
me that ought to trust human ma
ture more than do, and yield to it
and leave my henhouse door unlocked
for the night. When l go out in the
morning and find all the chickens gone
get the feeling that somebody is an
old fool and that it amt the critter who
walked away with the poultry.
hold that nature made the man to
boss the roost after getting married,
but at the same time am willing to
admit that if I'd allowed the old wo-
man to butt in oftener I'd have been
worth dollars where I hain't now
worth cents.
Just where heaven is or whether l
shall ever reach it has been puzzle to
me these many days, but I have taken
the safe side by heaping up the meas
ure when sell taters and not lying
any more than I can help when I go
down to the postoffice of an evening.
When Uncle Billy Wilson found him.
self dying he sent for me and owned
up that he had been stealing corn and
taters from me for years and that he
had robbed my orchard and run of my
hogs. He said he couldn't die with
those things on his conscience, but as
he didn't offerSt to square up and as 1
found one of my plows in his barn aft
er his funeral have never given him
the credit that perhaps I should have
done.
1t is never too late to find out things.
Old Uncle Jim Nash had lived for fifty
years without creating any stir in this
world wh6. his wife patched his trou-
sers with a sheet of tin. After that be
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

notice telling Of the downfall Of rois-
on and warning all comers, not to- res
move the wagon boz Or crawl under
it Poison was chasing aastrange dog
out Of the yard when he went down
and his remarks to the dog kept COM
ing up long after he struck the water.
The hired man rugged up q block and
tackle and drew Poison out Of the
well at $500 p. M. and at II o'clock
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12
He Understood.

He Understood.
"Willie," said an interesting young
mother to her firstborn, do you know
what the difference is between body
and soul? The soul, my child, is what
you love with; the body carries you
about. This is your body" touching
the little fellows shoulder, "but there
is something deeper in. You can feel
1t now. What is it?"
"Oh, l know" said Willie, with d
dash of intelligence in his eyes; that's
my flannel shirt!'-Lippincott's Maya
zine.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12
Peison.C Carrots.

Grafton Record Poison Carrots
hired man came into the ONCE last;
Saturday to tell me that Poison was
iridisposed, he having fallen into an
open well the day before and broken
six ribs, besides losing q set Of good
teeth and his temper. The hired man.
stated that during the winter evenings
when they were sitting around the fire
eating apples and popping corn, the.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

$50 +
cry part of the world. Princes. dukes.
rajahs. sultans and even kings were
numbered among this individuals
friends.
At the end Of the performance he
shook Mr.. Davis heartily by, the hand.
Il hope" be said, "that we may
meet again. ! am Richard Harding
Davis" E
"Are you!" said Mr.. Davis. laughing.
$50 AMI"
One day in Egypt Mr. Davis was
studying the pyramids when a guide
approached and said to him:
ut took hundreds of years to build.
them monuments, SIR \ \ Il 81
"a government job. eh?'' said III
novelist ~
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

BOOTH TARK1NG- the other, there's
TON the Conquest Of
Youth'-that wasn't fiction, and-and-
and the conquest of Canaan" he finish
ed humorously.
1.-THE conquest. of Canaan| repeated
Harrington slowly. whats that?'
His friend laughed. "Why, by
Joshua" he said. Don't you know
your Bible, man?'
TITS the very thing!' said Mr.. Tark-
ington triumphantly. 'We'll call the
town Canaan. and the book The Con.
quest of Canaan It's just what /
want. Besides, the part Of Indiana
where the story is laid is full of Bib
lical names-Zionsville, New Palestine,
Lebanon, and SO on"
And 'The Conquest Of Canaan" It
was.
There are peculiar people who pose
% famous authors and get quite lit
tie glory out Of the sham for time.
Richard Harding Davis. novelist and
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

First Partner-We'll have to keep an
eye Oh the new cashier.
Second Partner Why? Anything
wrong with his accounts!
First Psrtner-No but he admits that
be can't live on the salary we pay him.
Brooklyn Life.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12
nisnimilar Vie~..

II believe" remarked the scientist,
that in the course Of time man be-
comes what he eats"
Il don't" rejoined the ordinary per-
son. "I've been eating fish all my life,
and I can't swim stroke"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

though, that now
and then an impos.
sible servant turns
mp. An impossible
servant, a cook,
turned up at the
house Of a friend OF
mine last week.
This cook was from
New Hampshire.
She came to my
friend with a high
recomm endation
from an employ
ment agency, but az
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12
A Difference.

"She is exceedingly well read" said
the adnliring young woman.
"Indeed?' rejoined Miss Cayenne.
Eyes. She reads all the new books
as fast as they are published"
THAT means she is abundantly read,
but not we'll read."-Washington Star.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

PATCHED HIS TROUSERS WITH SHEET OF
TIN.
ratified around at such rate that his
fellow men went ut it and elected him
overseer Of highways. There are lots of
men who'd amount to something IL they
only got rattle started.
made up my mind early in the game
that when became old and gray head
ed I'd take things as they cane, but I
don't mind admitting that whenever I
have passed bottle of hair dye since
arriving at the age of fifty I've had
the hardest kind of work to keep from
making fool Of myself. When you
hear of man growing old gracefully
set him down as hero.
When hear that my neighbor has a
sick child 1}feel sorry for him. When I
hear that he has lost a cow by death I
give him my sympathy. When l hear
that his uncle out west has died and
left him $1,000 1 want to know Of my
self by what right such man as he Is
should fall into such luck while can't
raise enough to pay my taxes. It isn't
that we are envious of any one else,
but it is that the good things should
naturally come our way.
I fully believe and am firmly con-
WINGED that honesty is the best policy,
but when merchant sells me half cot
ton for all wool Eve just got to count
him out 'leven eggs for dozen in spite
Of all I can do. The first inmate Of
our county poorhouse was an honest
man. N. QUAD.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

war correspondent,
was in New Mexico
q year ago attend
ing a performance
Of his farce, ''The
Dictator when a
young man near by
entered into CONVEX
sationwithhim. The
young man proved
TO be entertaining.
He was tall and
strong, and he had
.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

u0 "AAASAo w W S0A
quering the town."
His friend ponder
ed a moment. "Why
not call it the con-
quest Of something
or other?" he sug.
gested helpfully.
what conquests
have there been in
titles already?" ask.
ed the author.
"Well," returned
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12
More to 1t.

McJigger-After all it's true saying
that che laughs best who laughs last
Thingumbob-.Not at all. The really
true saying is, 'He laughs best whose
laugh ts."-Detroit Free Press.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

1t is a mistake to say that the
7 Longworth- Roosevelt wedding sc to
be celebrated ut high noon. High n0oa
is 3 O'Clock p. M. The wedding -
to be at the common every day noon.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12
An Unple...nt Rem,ra.,

An Unpleasant Reminder.
"Have you forgotten that this is the
twenty-fifth anniversary Of our we'd
ding?"
"There you go! Couldn't you see
was trying to forget it?"-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12
AT the Tea Table.

At the Tea Table.
Bobby-Is God everywhere?
Mother (patiently)-Yes, Bobby.
Bobby-Is he in the teapot?
Mother (embarrassed) - Why - why,
yes.
Bobby-Is he in the sugar bowl?
Mother (frantically)-Yes! told you
God was everywhere.
Bobby (triumphantly placing his hand
over the top Of the sugar bowD-Hur-
rah! I've got him!-Woman's Home
Companion.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

and nail to furnish all the news all
the time, Park River will extend lib
eral patronage.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

oOOA 90 oAV C4LGACO
the house she began to ask the most
impertinent questions.
"My friend answered her questions
with civility, but in the end they reach
ed point where civility would no Ion
ger serve.
"'I see you have a daughter. What
10 her name' said the new cook.
Margaret my friend answered.
'MargaretT said the cook. Dear
me! guess you'll have to call her
something else while I'm here, for my
names Margaret too.'"
Rev. Charles Wagner, who wrote
"The Simple Life" book that was
highly praised by President Roosevelt,
spoke in New York church one Sun
day when he visited America some
months ago. After
the address, says /.mr...,
the New York \
Times, reception I S
was held in the ves- xls
try. Pastor Wag-
nc. became the Gen. w
ter Of bevy Of Gls!1A
III; !; :;;:% ;;:$ ~ !: :: :;
vain. Finally he REV. cHAe1Es
was approached by WAGNER.
an elderly matron
gushing over with enthusiasm.
"Oh, Mr.. Wagner" she exclaimed, II
am SO delighted to see you! have en-.
joyed your operas so much!'
Pastor Wagner fed.
Chief among the several factors that
make or mar the successful launching
Of a novel is the question of its title.
Not many months ago Booth Tarking-
ton was lamenting to a friend that his
new novel had not yet been christened.
''What Is the main idea of the novel7'
his companion asked.
'eWell, the hero Is really fine young
fellow who has grown up with a bad
name somehow-give a dog "a bad
name. you know-and every mans
hand is against him, and he has pref
ty tough time of it for years, but finally
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

gushing over with enthusiasm.
"Oh, Mr.. Wagner" she exclaimed, II
am SO delighted to see you! have en-.
joyed your operas so much!
Pastor Wagner fed.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1906-01-12

1t is never too late to find out things.
Old Uncle Jim Nash had lived for fifty
years without creating any stir in this
world whA his wife patched his trou-
sers with Il sheet of tin. After that he
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04
IN MEMoRIAM.

Mrs. Emily Hughes Clisby was born
January II, 1923, in Montgomery county.
on her fathers plantation near the city
of Montgomery; died in Birmingham,
Ala, February II. 1906 at the ripe age
of SO years After a residence of num-
Der of years on the plantation her parents
moved to Montgomery, building the sec
ond house in that city. The subject of
this sketch was married to Bejamin Mills
when only 16 years old, who lived only
three weeks after the marriage. On Feb
ruary 4, 1898, she was married to John
Clisby a native of Medford. Mass, but
then resident of Montgomery, Ala
Twelve children, six sons and six daugh-
ters, were born. Born with the spirit of
the martyrs, this mother bore suffering
and adversely without murmuring; nurs-
ing the sick always with the tenderness
from her loving mother-heart. Endowed
with a strong mind and high ideals of
right she met each duty with unwaver-
ing strength of spirit. She united with
the Methodist church when young wife,
taking her husband with her, and from
that hour no temptation was too great
to be resisted, she never swervlng from
her Christian duty.
The mother-loVe so great In her was a
passion; each childs joys and grlefs
were her own; her sympathetic and great
loving heart ever turning to comfort
them Love the guide of her life, led
her always to do her duty nobly, faith
fully. Prayer was the solace of her
heart In all of her sorrows she leaned
upon her Savior and found rest. Born
to wealth and position, the temptations
of the world never drew her from this
source of joy, never affected the native
simplicity of her heart. Her compassion
for the poor, the afflicted. entered so
deeply into her life that truly from her
heart were the issues of life" IL she
met with wrong the mantle of charity
was thrown over all.
Her children have the priceless legacy
of truth, honor and love to enrich them
for this world and for eternity, where
she Is awaiting them.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04

Orleans, as against Pittsburg 1865. 1t
shows that there is a discharge of $500
cubic feet per second at Knoxville, as
against 100 at Pittsburg. 1t shows that
there Is as large discharge of the Ten
nessee river at Paducah as the Ohio, al
though that river has just received the
Cumberland. The chart Is an object les
son. Together with the report of the Sc
lect committee it ought to direct the at
tention of the Senate and of the House
too, to the need of giving attention to
this splendid stream.
1t should suggest to our engineer Off
GERS that they study tile question along
the lines of these able senators, and make
recommendations that will bring about
a prompt completion of the work, and II
should suggest to our own people that
they ought to ask for an appropriation
which will give the twelve foot channel
which the commission recommends.
The future of Knoxville is largely in
volved in the digging of the Panama
canal, and the Tennessee river Is neees-
sary for our products to reach that canal.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04
NOTES AND PERSONALS.

The Greensboro (Ala) Waterman of
March 1 says: Mrs. ]. A. Rountree of
Birmingham is the guest of Mrs j. ].
Christian. Mrs Rountree Is one of the
most accomplished and popular young
matrons in Alabama, and Is a social IA
vorite wherever she goes"
Dr. and Mrs Edgar Allan Jones are
the guests of DIR. and Mrs. C. c. Jones
in Woodlawn.
Mr. and Mrs Don Bacon left yesterday
for New York
yesterday.
Mrs. Rankin Cranston Is expected to ar
rive from New York early In March to
be the guest of Mr.. and Mrs, j. W. Ran
kin.
Miss Emmie Barnett will remain in
Florida through the month of March,
Mr.. and Mrs Edward Devereaux Smith
returned during the week from New Or
leans.
Mrs II. M Simpson of Germantown,
Pa. is the guest of her sister, Mrs. George
Cobb.
Miss Cole is the guest of friends In
Alexander City.
A meeting of the board of managers of
the Woman's exchange will be held on
Tuesday morning at 11;30 o'clock
A meeting of the Creche will be held
Tuesday at 10 o'clock at the residence
of Mrs. ]. tt. Nixon.
Mr.. j. w. Miles is In Admission.
Mr.. Paul Vining is In Admission
DR.. and Mrs. f. I. Tarrant and Miss
Tarrant have returned from Brewton.
Mrs. Mary r. Forbs and Mrs. jose
phine Franklin Horn are spending a few
days with Mrs w. ]. Varley, having just
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04
p5 Years In the South.

From the New York Sun.
From $257 co., 900 invested In capital for
factories to s1,5Oo,OO0. 900; increase, s1243 :
100000
From S457 600, 600 yearly value of products
of factories to 81, 75O, 100000; increase,
81, 293, 100000.
From s21 0oO. goo capital invested in cot
ton mills to $225 900, 900; increase, $2040oO :
900.
From $313,000,0 COO annual value of cotton
crop to $3.50. 100000; increase, 1857 1000.
From 225O0o bales of cotton used in
southern cotton mills to 2,16S 600; increase,
1898 900 bales.
From $40, 600. 900 yearly lumber product
TO se50,0OO. 600: increase, s211000,000.
From s97, 900 tons of pig iron produced
to 100000 tons; increase 2,703,000 tons.
From $26l 900 yearly value of exports
abroad to 1856, 100000; increase. 1924, Co.,
900.
From $500 100000 yearly value of farm
products to $1,750,000, 600; increase, $1,000
100000.
From $1,000 miles of railroad to $4,000
miles; increase, 80 400 miles.
From 10000 barrels of petroleum pro-
dueed to AZ. 49,. goo; increase, AZ. $4,000 bar
rels.
From As cotton oil mills to $50; increase,
735 mills,
From 100000 capital invested in cotton
oil mills to $54. 6000O0; increase. S5S, 900.
From $4,000 spindles In cotton mills to
9,205, 900; increase. S53s 900 spindles.
From PHI, 377 tons of phosphate mined
yearly to 1887 42S; Increase, s76,061 tons.
From S97,776 tons of coke produced yearly
to s,2A1S5; increase, 5.S46.40s tons.
To crown 1t all, from s3.O51, 100000 as
s1ssed property valuation to $500. 900, 900;
Increase, $3.449 100000, or an average in
crease Of $13s. 100000 a year for the 25
years.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04
THE ALABAMA TREE.

The San Francisco Chronicle tells or
the planting of trees in the grove and
gives the names, the delegates, the state
they represented and trees they planted
The Alabama oak was credited to MISS
Phria Arlington of Montgomery, Ala
The article says: 1.-THE grove was
planted In the grounds of the Govern
ment hospital and during the ceremony
the band played airs. The scene was
most inspiring.
1.-THE Alabama oak was not planted by
Miss Arlington, but by a granddaughter
of Admiral Raphael Semmes. Miss ha-
trina Wright who had crossed the racine
to be present at the ceremonies. she Is
a daughter of Hon. Luke Wright, who
was al that time governor general of
the Philippine Islands. He ~ now ampas-
sador to Japan Miss Arlington, al
though chairman of the Alabama dele
cation, gracefully yielded this place OF
honor to the granddaughter of our great
Alabaman. Admiral Raphael Semmes.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04
A SOUTHERN WOMAN.

Miss Dorothy Sherrod, who, as all read
ers know. Is Mrs. Tim Murphy was the
recipient of much social attention IN
Houston and other cities In the state The
society columns of the upstate press are
daily telling that Miss Sherrod Is not
without honors in this state, says Gal
weston paper The actress In her south
ern tour is on her native heath for she
is thorough daughter of the south. Her
maiden name was Eva Saunders.
daughter of Col. Tom Saunders OF Mis-
sissippi. The old southern family mas
been socially prominent for many genera
tons The Saunders country places IN
Alabama and Mississippi have been re-
Gently written up in Dixieland, the Dali
las magazine, as typical residences of the
old south In consequence her trip
through this section of the country IS
welcomed by scores of old friends.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-03-04
EARNEST. HALL.

At the home of Mr., and Mrs. Andrew
]. Hall, Canoe Ala. on Tuesday evening.
at o'clock, occurred the marriage of
their daughter, Miss Anna Mae, to Mr..
Charles Marion Ernest OF Fairchild, Ga.
The entire house was thrown open and
decorated with holly. fern and mistletoe,
The front gallery and spacious grounds
were beautifully lighted with Japanese
lanterns, and over the front entrance was
an archway of holly and ferns, under
which the ceremony was performed by
Rev. J. b. Trotter of Bay Mnette.
To the strains of Lohengrin's wedding
march. played by Miss Matte Hall, the
bride and groom entered, preceded by Miss