Mower County transcript., 1906-10-10
FARMER BEN'S I;
0LUMN)

tory and incorrigible pupils. It ap-
pears to the court that in certain dees-
triks up there lots of the kids have ben
awful sassy and ungovernable under
the rule that the teacher couldn't lick
'em for any imaginable offense. The
boys openly would stand up to the
teacher and defy her to lick 'em and all
teacher could do was to look demure'
Now if cause arises, the superintendent
can whale the youngsters and make
,em law fearin' and authority respectin'.
It's just right too. Of course, record
of lickin's will be kept for inspection
and nothin' unreasonable will be al
lowed I don't believ tbere'll be much
actual lickin' either. Just the pos
sibility of gettin a good trimmin dow n
when needed will be sufficient. l see
that the next day after this rule started
the kids in St. Paul schools was SO
good and docile that it was suspected
that their wings was sproutln.' l De.
lieve in layin' on of hands for curln'
vo-npsters and drivln' Satan out OF 'em.
T was raised that way. Don't l remem-
her down in old Jefferson county
where I was started how Prof. Keno
nhon Demosthenes used to use the ROD
and make the child? He turned out
some of the likeliest boys and girls IN
existence.
So Uncle Sam is goin' to Civ Cuoa
another chance at the republic try ana
there'N be another election and ne"
set of officers and after a while another
ina.rrection and THROWN out the next
president and Uncle Sam will step in
and take the lines and drive while
and then another try at republic and
insurrection and so on in endless chain
ad liberatim and intnatim. But the
time will be reached when this monkey
business will hav to quit and Uncle
Sam will put up his own flag on CuDa
never to take it down. What does the
Cuban flag stand for anyhow? Haven't
they had a square try to make good as
a republic? ! amt sayin' that Uncle
Sam shouldn't be patient but when
patience ceases to be a virtue some
thing must drop. I'm satisfied that
nothin' but force can keep down lot
of half baked Cubans who take to IN
surrection like the sparks go up chimb-
lev from the old fireplace. The Cuban
government amt got the Judgement
and the ability to work out a firm and
steady control when the storms come
on. Uncle Sam is tindin' this inter
vention business nifty expensive and
it's luxury that will hav to be sworn
off on. Cuba belongs under the Stars
and Stripes and it's all day with her un
til the thing is settled that way.
Farmer Ben is gettin' endorsed al
over, [ see that a Yale college per-
fessor has ben maxim experiments fo1
nine months on slow eatin' OF Ylttles
and finds that healthy Individual can
double his endurance in five months by
thorough mastication Of what he eats
Slow eatin' affects the workin' powers
of folks as we'll as the health OF the
stomick and whole constitution.
never see such hogs as folks are now
days in their eatin'. You see 'em al
lunch counters and tables shovelin' II
the food from both sides and gulpin' II
down unchewed, untasted and unsali
vated. Down it goes in chunks to thu
stomick and loads up that origin tt
overwork to get rid of it and by and b!
comes dyspepsy and indigestion ant
debility and misery for the rest OF you
days. It looks just like hogs slopplln
down the swill out of the trough ane
not stoppin' to open their eyes to SCI
where it's goin' to. Farmer Ben be
lieves in slow eatin'. If he amt go
the time alwus, he takes it. His diet
etic condition and his workin' power j
open to inspection any time betwix
sunrise and early candle light. Iv
got my spicions of all this humbug IL
prepared foods and predigested vittles
You can't gulp 'em down and alwus
keep your alimentary healthiness. Just
let me at the old fashioned vittles ant
plenty of time to eat slow and deliber
4 ate and can do my own digestin' ant
don't need predigested stuff.
e. - -,. o @ O. .ET , S1G& -.
l don't wonder that Gov. Johnns
johnson is sick that he started in for
second term only to be defeated. He1
on his last legs and he is gettin' trem
bly, and shaky but tries to keep 9 stiff
upper lip. It looks like when he opens
his mouth he puts his foot in it. Wha
gumpy statement he is MAXIM in ,Eli hi'
political speeches that our railroad
laws are already efficient and sufficient