The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-09-08
= S'lSHES
$50


II couldn't get seat in the cars to-
day" "Oh, that's a. complaint of long
standing. Judge.
Her Range.-Mrs. Knicker-What
does she talk about? Mrs. Booker
Bridge and Brldget.-Harper's- Bazaar.
There's Madeline. She's beginning
to show her age, isn't she? "You mean
she's beginning to hide it"-Harpers
Bazaar.
Tommy-Papa, what Is a consulting
physician? Papa-He Is doctor who
Is called lnat the last moment to share
the blame.-Life.
"Funniman has a dry sort of humor."
yes, his jokes are enough to drive one
to drink, If that's what you mean
Town and Country.
Pupil-Do you believe In spelling re-
form? Teacher-In your case l do.
About every other one Of your words Is
spelled wrong.-Detrolt Free Press.
How fur is it ter de land er Con
tcntT Its 'cordin' ter how much
faith you got. Eff you think you In it,
dar you is En- eff you don't-well, it's
ten mile furder on."-Atlanta Consti-
tuition.
DO you thin. Miss Jones and Mr..
Brown will marry?" No; they've had
a falling out" How did it happen? ?"
'"They met one day when each was
looking the other up in Bradstreet's."
Detroit Free Press.
You haven't made any speeches
lately" NO." answered Senator Sor.
ghum. Its more work than it used to
be to make a speech. The public Is
getting so that it takes an orator seri-
ously." Washington Star.
Oldboy-I was run down by an auto
mobile the other day. De Young-Were
you hurt? Oldboy--Not until fool
bystander remarked that 1t was q
shame to see an old man bowled over
like that.-Chicago Daily News.
Pointing to her sons, Cornelia had
just exclaimed, "These are my jewels !!
"Then," replied the heartless janitor
you'll have to keep them in the safe
As children, they Amt allowed In this
apartment se."-Harper's Bazaar.
Young Husband-It's very pretty, but
don't you think 1t was extravagant to
spend $2S on ring? Young Wife
But you see, darling, had already saw
ed the SIS by getting a gown that was
reduced from $SS to $6O.-Brooklyn
Life.
DO you take any interest In rare
and beautiful booksY NO." answered
Mr.. Cumrox; II used to; but now II
you subscribe to an expensive publica
ton people think you did it to keeI
something out Of print "-Washington
| Star.
Hicks-How do you happen to be
going fishing on Friday? l thought
you believed Friday was an unlucky
day. Wicks-Well, always have. But
it occurred ON me this morning that
perhaps it would be unlucky for the
fish.-Somerville Journal.
You will understand, sir" DR.. Price
Price began, that l cannot undertake
to cure your case without a diagnosis
That's all right" interrupted Nuritch
haughtily, 81 spose that's the medical
word for fee In advance Name yer
fgger !"-Philadelphia Press.
what we want" said the reformer
as system by which the Office seeks
the man." We've got it right here In
Crimson Gulch," answered Piute Pete
'The whole sheriffs office was out last
night huntin' the Teller that got the
wrong boss. Washington Star.
us DR.. Blank a homeopathist?" was
asked of the porter who answered the
ring Of the door-bell. Hesitating for q
moment, his African features lighting
up, the porter replied: mo, sab; no
sab. DR.. Blank goes out an treats
patients right along, sah."-Ex.
Terrence Mccarthy, do you swear
that you know the applicant, Michae
Murphy, who has made application fol
an increase Of pensions" "You may
we'll say that l do" said Terrence
me and him were shot in the same
leg at Antietam."-Boston Herald.
$50 the mlllionaires gave masl
ball? Was 1t a success" mo, bu
3 1t would have been a success save TO
Percy Lavender" "What did he do?
"Why, he went disguised as process
server, and all the millionaires jumpet
out Of the windows" Chicago Dali.
News.
A Chicago mother was trying to &c
her little boy to go to bed. Run along
Johnny" she said, land get into you
bed. The little chickens have all gon,
to bed" Yes, mother, l know" sal,
the little tot, with quivering lip; "bu
the old hen went to bed with EN-
! Judge.
Old Woman (awaiting magistrate
signature to her declaration that sh
has lost a pawn ticket)-An awkwar
thing, yer honor, to lose a pawn tlcket
Police OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES! OIL
, Woman mot to be suppressed -Ahem