davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1906-12-06

ers which are habituafly common
in chape canned goods, an the re-
mainin' tin foundered thimsilves
on marmylade culled from mildly
Gated periodicals. Statistics av
this nature are appallin' whin we
consider that livery wan still num-
bered in the cinsus is takin' q
uge chance av missin' the mkt
oil call.
Me frinds, not countin' the
PARASITES, small boogs or rid hair
that we annually swally alive,
there are SEVERAL hundred bizawr
stoos an iccintric dishes which
the intillygint family man ates
wild missy tation; ates wild a nerv-
GUS ixpictancy not knownin'
whittier he is goin' to collapse in
tirely or only sprid his rails. In
order to firmly impriss on livery
mind the fayindish results av
modern anthropophagyism, known
as ipycurean diets, / will recount
a late personal ixpayryince which
happened raycintly at the Grogan
immortal banquit. Av course,
the Grogans are shabby gintales,
SO 'tiz nadeliss to say that Mrs.
Grogan-chronically disazed wild a
soft pace de resistance-consayves
an prepares the family fade thru
the agincy av cookin' jurnals.
The occasion want an hanar to
annythin' in particular from a
society standpoint, tho it might
how been, iDsidyously. intinded as
toast to the hotiss' originality
wild Turin food dillycasies. [
dunno. Like all regular invitation
affairs they stint out scinted post
cards coordyroyly rayquistin' the
prisinse av yersilf an lydy to ate
rich fade. Hovin' had ixpayry-
ince in that line befoor an belav-
in in the survival av the fittest, I
arrived airly to git the details an
thus avoid imbarrissmints. To be
economical. [ kipt mesilf from
rubin the patterns off the ro-
tundy carpet be interim the back
dure where [ nit Napoleon who
had already added to the ixpinses
be brakjn' his collar bone in quist
av birds nists.
Ye see, Mrs. Grogan had rid in
the papers that Chinaze bird mist
scoop waz the latest craze in Moo
York, so to be up-to-date she
boiled few en- PEASANT. Napo-
leon, confidintially, INFORMED me
that the bloojays, woodpickers an
hickers came aisy, but whin he at
timpted to grab hangin' birds,
why the limb broke, precipltatin'
him to the ground wild soofshint
velocity to crack part av his frame.
He had just convinced to tell me
how they soorted an prepared thin
whin hack full av gusts backed
aginst the horse block, SO not
wishin' to take advantage av his
maw's ignorance or infringe on
the laws av CONVENTIONAL itykit, [
joined the uncouth rabble. As
their names hov niver been in
print, score card wud confuse
the isthitic sinses; HINGE, we re-
spictfully omit 1t.
In order to make plinty av
room iverythin' but the wallpaper
had been moved out av the parlor
an here we congregated atm pay
noots on the half-shill an listenin'
to pales av fohonygraphic tintin-
nabulations. At precisely eight
thirty. midst the strains av "Waltz
Me Around Agin," we follied the
hostiss into the dinningroom which
waz appropriately elaborated fer
tho occasion CANARY coroo i'm
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1906-12-06

circles exclusively, the secret
history of the courts OF
Europe, Asia, America and New
Zealand has been an open book O
me for many years. Consequent
~, I feel it only just to myself to
state that it was who planned the
Anglo Boer and Russian-Japanese
wars, the organization of the Steel
Trust, the Dreyfus affair and most
of the other events which have
become known to the public, be-
sides host of others which are
buried in the archieves OF Euro
pean powers.
It is one of the latter that l
shall treat in the following lines.
the diplomatic reasons for keep
ing it secret having long since
past away. I was chatting with
the manager of the Hotel Metro
pole in London, when l was called
to the telephone. The parsonage
at the other end of the wire, after
satisfying himself of my identity,
uttered the single word "Sauer-
kraut" and shut of the connection.
I should mention that the kaiser,
when he wishes me to act on i'm
portant business for him, invari-
ably chooses this enigmatic method
of communication.
Accordingly, [ turned to the
manager of the hotel, and told
him I should be out for an hour
or two. [ did this with the double
object of preserving the necessary
secrecy and avoiding unnecessary
inquiry in regard to my board bill,
which was slightly overdue.
AS luck would have it, 1 was
fortunate enough to catch the
Southeastern flyer which in the
short space of three hours covered
the thirty-mile distance between
London and Dover, where l was
again fortunate enough to lmme-
diately book a berth on channel
liner.
To make long story short (not,
of course, to make it too short, as
they pay for this stuff by the hun
dred words,) within forty eight
hours I reached Potsdam. Brush
ing aside three sentries and a
company of artillery, [ fastened
to seek my usual entrance to the
palace. On reaching the apart
ment, which was set aside for my
visits, I was not surprised to find
the door barred by sentry with
drawn sword in one hand, fixed
bayonet in the other, and re-
volver in the other. Pressing a
mark into his vacant palm (excel-
lent money it is, too; made by a
friend of mine in Geneva) l gained
admittance into the sumptuous
chamber which is known as Mr.
F's. The kaiser was pacing the
room with short, hurried foot
steps and seemed unaware of my
entry.
Then he turned, and the awful
truth burst upon me. He had lost
half ofAis mustacAe! Not the whole
of it-that would have been en-
durable, tho revolutionary. But
half of it! I sank into the depths
of sumptuous divan, made by
This space to let for advertis-
ing purposes) & Co., and endeav-
ored to stife my emotion.
"My friend, this is no time to
weep" said the monarch. "There
is need Of action"
"But how-who-" I gasped.
ssAh, that rascal of an Alferi!
Doubtless in league with those
British pigs. I have just finished
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1906-12-06

~VERJOYED be the fact that
1 am still cohaysive to this
lopsided bawl afther sustain
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04
Russians One War Hero.

If General Stoessel had died rather
than surrender, as he originally gave
out that lie would when charged with
the defense of Port Arthur, he would
surely have been canonized and the
world spared the spectacle of a real
hero being placed on the rack by bu-
reaucrats who never smeled powder.
No doubt the government clique who
mismanaged the war would be glad to
have the fighting men out of the way.
They may have tales to tell when the
investigating committee of constitu-
tional Russia puts the muck rake at
work on the war heap.
But If Stoessel failed to give us a
modern Leonidas or another Travis at
the Texas Alamo, which, uplike Their
mopylae. had no messenger Of defeat,
he made a fight which removes him
forever from the roster of towards in
uniform deserving the towards doom.
English, German, French and Ameri-
can soldiers complimented him and the
kaiser decorated him, while all the
world except the carpet knights of st.
Petersburg applauded At Port Arthur
was witnessed the only real stubborn
ness IN ngiit cxnir5,.~d- r~--~,an
corps during the war. The surrender
Of fortress is indeed a serious mat
ter, but so is the useless slaughter OF
a garrison 50 heavily outcassed as
was the Russian In January 1905. The
world will regret to believe that the
soldier who braved Togo's gun fire and
NOgi's bat;al;ons for ten months and
only yielded to fate in the end really
merits death
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

Experience is a great teacher So Is
real estate boom.
The more a man knows the less he
admita to knowing.
All of us can't be In the same boat
If we were, we'd sink it.
Let the other fellow have Ills way
as lo1s as he only wants to talk.
Elections and marriages are just
alike. There is nothing the candidate
will not promise beforehand.
If you are going to give both bar
rels, do 1t like man-give them to the
victims face and not behind his back.
Nothing makes man quito so III
naturGl as To be expected to be CRATE
full FOX something that does not please
him.
There is great deal said about love
at tirsf sight; not much said about the
hatred at first offense, which IL more
sure Atchison Globe.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04
slurs ON the Soil.

That discovery by actual experiment
Of the great fertility of the soil Of
Long Island will not open new state
to the country, but the hint Is a good
/ 1ne for other localities. Being sandy,
| ihe soil of Long Island inherited bad
reputation and was allowed to grow
up to scrub oak and pine. There was
plenty of fertile land all around New
York, so the agrlcuturists let the is
land degenerate largely into summer
resort and field for paper towns.
Parts of 1t had reputation for aspara-
gus and early potatoes. but that was
ALL
If the soil of Long Island is good for
bananas and coffee, as the experiment
Is said to prove, and also general farm
Ing and dairylng purposes, there Is no
reason to suppose but other localities
have neglected lands that are suffering
from bad reputation aud nothing
worse. People who think that none
but deep black soils are worth bother
ing with have only the crudest knowl-
edge of the possibilities of nature.
Wherever something grows of itself
some better thing can, as rule. be
made to grow and pay its way. 1t is
often said that certain field or stretch
of land isn't worth cultivatlng. Per-
haps not for the average run of pur-
poses. But methods are constantly
and ii is very poor soil In
1eed-in fact, no soil at all--that is alb
5olutely impossible Of production when
TILED. Italian peasants grow
rich crops on the cinders and ashes
spread over the land by Vcsuvius.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04

On rainy morning a good deal OF
wisdom may be learned from the
chickens. If it Is to be soggy, rainy,
drizzly day all day, the chickens will
get OUT and stand about In the rain
with "a utterly Indifferent manner
They lpok just as human beings feel,
and they keep it up all day, But II
the ram is to continue but few hours
the chickens will stay under shelter.
They caanot be kept out. They hurry
under cover when disturbed and stay
there till the fair weather comes, which
1t does presently. And then they GO
out and enjoy the sunshine. The chick
ems know.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04
THE LUNACY OF LOVE.
BuISver Lytton's Letters to His own
"Adored Poodle"

To Miss Louise Dewey, the former
friend and the executrix of Lady Lyt-
ton, had been confided packet of Dos
letters, representing the correspond
ence of Bulwer Lytton with Miss
Wheeler in the days of their early
courtship. Miss Dewey published these
with preface, stating that she took
this action In order to vindicate the
memory of her dead friend. In what
manner the letters could be regarded
as vindication 1t is difficult to see,
though they serve as remarkable con-
tribution to the literature of cpistolary
loyemaking. The extravagant absurd
ty Of some of them is almost beyond
belief, and two passages may lie quot
ed as Illustrative of many others. In
the letters Bulwer Lytton addresses
Miss Wheeler as Poodle" and signs
himself Puppy" or "Puppo."
"My Adored Poodle: Many, many
thanks for 90 darling letter. Ne Is so
happy, me is wagging my tail and put
ting my ears down. Me is to meet 90
tomorrow. o day of days! 1 cannot
tell you how very, very happy you
have made me! No, my own love, don't
come before II; but really l shall meet
you! Oh, darling of darlings - %
zoo lore Of loves, me is ready to leap
out of my skin for joy Adieu. Tween
ty million kisses.
And so they dressed my poodle in
white and black? 0 zoo darling How
like poodle! And had 90 oo's Dootiful
ears cUrled nicely, and did 90 not look
too pretty, and did not all the puppy
dogs run after 90 and tell 90 what
darling 90 was? All, Me sends 90
100000 kisses to be distributed as
follows: 100000 for 90 bootiful mouth.
100000 to 90 right eye, 25O,OO0 to 90
left eye, 100000 20 90 dear neck and
the rect to be equally divided between
90 arms and hands.
Ten million more kisses, my own
darling, for your letter which Is Just
arrived. Ii is read, and now before IT |
is answered take the following (marks
of kisses). Pray, darling, shall we
not kiss prettily tomorrow, darling
Id (a) (r) % ID On (g)?
"Adleu, my own Rose, my life of life,
very poodle of very poodles, adicu!
"Adiau, 90 own idolatrous puppy.
"EvS my dearest, dearest, dearest,
fondest, kindest, bootlfulest, darling
est, arEelest poodle. 90 own puppy
Lyndon Orr in Bookman.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04
Quaint Customs In Abxnuinia.

Quaint customs prevail in parts of
Abyssinia. When a father Is getting
on In years the son bids him climb into
tree and jump down from the
branches. If the old man staggers on
landing the son spears him ON the spot
his usefulness is over. One tribe had
a custom of sewing chance visitors up
In green hides and leaving them to be
killed by the contraction of the skins
With another the only orthodox way OF
dealing with strangers was to tie them
In bundle and roll them over a prec
lpice. London Mail.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04

1t Is the fashion for optimists on
things Chinese TO attribute the fire.
quent uprisngs throughout the empire
to bandits. But the great TAPPING re-
bellion. participated in by hundreds OF
thousands of Chinese and lasting twice
as long as the American Revolution,
was at first set down as an affair Of
local bandits. The first Boxer devil
tries were credited to bandits. If that
so called imperial government headed
by Granny Isl An really Is imperial it
will 60 for the scalps Of all the bandits
far and near, otherwise the powers
may take hand again. If they do, 1t
will be all day with the bandits and
Granny Isl An. who stands for them.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04

The last time honored institution to
come under the ban of the microbe
fiend is the sponge. that apparently in
nocent and certainly Indispensable ad-
junct of the toilet. 1t is said that 1t
must be Systematically disinfected.
This is what Is supposed TO happen as
a matter OF course with its frequent
soap and hot water cleansings followed
by exposure to dlsinfecting sunshine
and air
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04

A lock of Dickens hair brought $40
at auction not long ago. John Bur-
roughs, Joaquin Miller, Mark Twain
and others of our long haired authors
might make a good spec out of the
byproducts of their pates and still line
up we'll with close cropped James
Whitcomb Riley.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04

Again we are reminded that nothing
is so bad but something worse can be
scared up. Even dish of the proven
bial billed crow appeals alongside OF
Rome peoples potted chicken and hog
cholera sausage.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04

The seventeen year locusts now hop
ping around the country will have to
show" this peace loving age before II
VIII believe the wv" on their wings
spells war.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04

A technical writer states that man
may now fly at will" That may be
true, but the old trouble about coming
down right side up continues.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04

spaniards call her la reina Ena-
and pronounce her La rayna Ayna,-
but by any name she will be "a sweet
TO my dear Alfons.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04
Talking.

Wife-You were talking in your sleep
again last night. dear. Why do you
persist in doing it? Husband-G Good
gracious. Maria, man ought to be
allowed to talk sometimes. oughtn't
he?- Bohemian.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04
0. r. & N. Time Card.

0. r. & N. Time Card.
No. 80 will leave Pullman for
Colfax, Pomeroy, Dayton, Pendle-
ton and the east at $40 a. m, daily.
except Sunday.
No. 81 will leave Pullman for Col
fax, Spokane, Portland and the
east at 800 p. m, daily.
No. 81 for Moscow at 1918 p. m.
daily, except Sunday.
No. 81 leaves for Moscow at 8:24
p. m. daily.
J. H. SMART,
Agent, Pullman, Wash.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04
TIME CARD--PULLMAN.

II ME NaRD-PUlLMAN.
Time card in effect June 10, makes
trains due as follows:
No. IL, East Bound Pass due 40 a. NJ.
No. Il, West Bound Pass, due Ass a. III.
No. SIS, West way freight, sdue 4:45 a. III.
No. 81, F Pass, new train, due 7:35 a. m.
No. 30, +, from Genesee, due o:3o a. m.
No. 90, + way freight, due 1850 a. III.
No. 9, w Pass. train, due I2:3s p. Ill
No. 10, w, for Genesee, due I2:35 D. m.
No. 81, w Pass, new train, due S:4s p. III.
For further information, time card maps
and tickets. call on or write
c. D. WILSON, Agent,
Pullman, Wash
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04

Do not be deceived by statements
that any vehicle for sale in Washing
ton equals the STUDEBAKER. A. B.
Baker & Co.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04

For Sale-Good second hand bath
tub. Enquire of F. E. Silver.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1906-08-04

The undersigned will quote rates
and receive deposits for prepaid
tickets to be delivered at any point
i'll the East. Write for particulars,
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25

10 the humble district school. George
S Laidley Of Charleston, president.
and The other oificers OF the associa-
tlon are here and all are enthusiastic
over the outlook for the gathering.
She ,onyerdon opens this evening
with a forutal xeicome meeting Rep
re.enc,riycs cf the state normal school
and the Fairmoni public schools viii
greet the visitors for whom response
viii be made By N. T. Shawkey OF the
state department of public instructions
The regular program OF papers and
discussions will be taken up tomor-
row morning, and the convention will
continue until Thursday.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25

Who sells ,ose nice busgies7 Why.
W. d. Packer. corner Oklahoma ana
Broad street. At
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25

fornia opened today. to continue to
August 4 The school will be con
ducted along exactly the same lines
as though the San Francisco calamity
had not occurred and judging from
the attendance the session will be one
OF the most successful in the history
of the university The faculty in
clude not only number OF prominent
Eastern educators, but also teachers
from Holland. England and Mexico
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25

frequently results from neglect Of clog
ged bowels ana torpid liver. untI consti-
patton becomes chronic. This condition
is unknown TO those who use Or. Kings
New Life pills; the best and gentlest
regulators OF stomach and Bowels. Guar
antced By al druggists. Price 25c.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25
WEST VIRGINIA TEACHERS.
fRr Aaaoclated Press.l

Faismont. West Va. June 25.-The
teachers OF West Virginia certainly
have reason to be proud OF this, their
thi, ,y-sixth annual state convention
Arriving trains today brought scores OF
members representing every county OF
the state and every branch Of educa-
tional activity from the bss university
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25
TENNESSEE TENNIS
CHAMPIONSHIP
fPr Asaaclated Pressl

Nashville. Tenn, June 25.--Auspic-
Gus conditions attended the opening Of
the second annual tennis tournamen
for the championship OF Tennessee at
the Nashville Tennis club today. The
events are mems singles and doubles.
The winner Of the singles will be call.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25

children who are delicate, feverish aud
cross vii get immediate relief from
Mother Orays sweet Powders Tor chill
dren. They cleanse the stomach act on
the liver mskmg a slckly child strong
and healthy. A certain cure for worms.
sold by au druggists, 2ae. sample FREE.
Address. Allen s. Olmsted Leroy n. Y.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25

never follows an Injury dressed with
Bucklen's Arnica salve. It's antiseptic
and healing proparties prevent blood
poisoning. Chas. Oswald. merchant OF
Rensselaersvnle, N Y, writes: 1T cured
seth Burch. OF this place. Of the ugiiest
sore on his neck l ever Saw" Cures
Cuts. WOUNDS. Burns and Sores. 25c at
an druggists.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25
oETTLEMANs $1,000 PRE- EMiUM
BEER AT SAME OLD MOSES.
MICHIGAN LETTER CARRIERS.
an Assoeiated pressl

Grand Rapids Mich. mPe 25 tn
Michigan Association of Letter Car
riers began its seventh annual eonven-
tion here today With am attendance
repre- enting large towns aud cities
throughout the state. The reports OF
the several officers show the affairs OF
the association 10 be in satisfactory
condition.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25
The Very Best Remedy FOR Bowel
Trouble.

MIR. NJ r. Borroughs, an old and
well-wnown resident Of Bluffton, Ind,
says; II regard Chamberlain's Collie
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy as the
very best remedy for bowel trouble.
I make this statement after having
used the remedy in my family for sew
eral years. / am never without it,
This remedy is almost sure to be need
ed before the summer is over. Why
not buy it now and be prepared foi
such an emergency? For sale my + B
Lille q Co.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25
asAox Eoa PASTURE OPENING.
The Lawton and Ei Reno oftIees 70 Take
charae OF Arransaments.

NWHTUU VI ~ N''3NI''|''t0'
Lawn. Ok. June 25.-omeial infofr
nation was received az the United States
land Office Ia l.amton from the land de-
partmont Of Washington In which notice
Is given that an matters pertainins 20
the opening az the Kiowal lconanche
Indian pasture reserve win be handled az
the LaWton and III Reno land offices.
The greatest bulk OF this pasture Of
505.00o acres Is ia the Lawton land
uistrict ana consequently the greatest
crowd win come TO Lawton. Less than
$4,000 acres is in the Fl Reno district
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25

ed on TO play aowan hodgers Of Knox
vile. the present champion The win
ners OF the doubles must play Cowan
and Charles Rolgers OF Knoxville.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1906-06-25

NEeLleeg sAlaTs ~ esreasEN,s