The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1906-06-28

UeloIe CouSFeSS, lueIe ISL cOIlCcS-
sion granted, there isn't an import
duty levied, but what II. p. Mellinger.
he cooks and seasons it. In the front
office fill the presidents inkstand and
search visiting statesmen for dyna-
mite; in the back room dictate the
policy of the government. You'd never
guess how l got the pull. It's the only
graft of it's kind in the world. III put
you wise. You remember the topliner
in the old copy books, Honesty is the
best policy" That's it. I'm the only
honest man in this republic. The gov
the boodlers know it; the foreign in
vestors know it. l make the govern
ment keep it's faith. If a man is prom
ised a job he gets it; if outside capital
buys a concession they get the goods.
| run Il monopoly of square dealing
here. There's no competition. If Colo
mel Diogenes were to flash his lantern
in this precinct he'd have my address
inside OF two minutes. There isn't big
money in it. but it's Il sure thing and
lets a man sleep of nights
THUS Homer Il. Mellinger made ora
ton to me and Henry uorsecollar in
Sore-toe-kangaroo. And later he di-
vested himself of this remark
Boys, I'm to hold soree this
evening with q gang of leading citi-
zens, and want Your assistance. You
bring the musical corn shelter and give
the affair the outside appearance of Il
function. There's important business
on hand, but it mustn't show l can
talk to you people I've been panied
for years on account of not having
anybody to blow off and brag to.
get homesick sometimes, and I'd swap
the entire petquisites of office for just
one hour to have Il stein and Il caviare
sandwich somewhere on Thirty-fourth
street and stand and watch the street
cars go by and smell the peanut roast
err at old Giuseppe's fruit stand
YES said l, there's fine caviare at
Billy Renfrow's cafe, corner of Thirty
fourth and
"'God knows it, Interrupts Mellin-
ger, and if you'd told me you knew
of ways of making you happy. Billy
was my side kicker in New York. That
is Il man who never knew what crook
ed was. Here / am working honesty
for Il graft, but that man loses money
on it. CarramboS! l get sick ut times
of this country. Everything's rotten.
From the executive down to the coffee
pickers they're plotting to down each
other and skin their friends. If mule
driver takes off his hat to an official,
that man figures it out that he's Il
popular idol and sets his pegs to stir
up Il revolution and upset the admins
tration. It's one of my little chores as
private secretary to smell out these
revolutions and atiiX the kibosh before
they break out and scratch the paint
off the government property. That's
why Pm down here now in this mill
dewed coast town. The governor of
the district and his crew splotting
to uprise. I've got every one of their
names, and they're invited to listen to
the photograph tonight, compliments
of III. p. NJ. That's the way III get
them in Il bunch and things are on the
programme TO happen to them
I'VE three We're sitting at table in
the cantina of the Purified Saints. Mel
linger poured out Wine and WAS look
ing some worried. l was thinning.
They're sharp crowd he says.
kind of fretful They're capitalized
by a foreign syndicate after rubber.
and they're. loaded to the muzzle for
bribing. I'm sick goes on Mellinger,
of comic opera. want to smell East
river and wear suspenders again At
times feel like throwing up my Job.
but I'm fool enough to be sort of proud
of it. There's Mellinger,' they say
here; "por Dios. you can't touch him
with a million" I'd like to take that
record back and show it to Billy Rem
frow some day, and that tightens my
grip whenever l see fat thing that
could corral just by winking one eye
and losing my graft. BY George
they can't monkey With me; they know
it! What money l get make honest
and spend it. Some day I'll make a
pile and go back and eat caviare with
Billy. Tonight I'll show you how to
handle bunch of corruptionists. I'll
show them what Mellinger, private
secretary, means when you spell it
with the cotton and tissue paper off,
'Mellinger appears shaky and breaks
his glass against the neck of the bottle
II says to myself, White man, if I'm
not mistaken, there's been bait laid
out where the tail of your eye could
see it,
THAT night according to arrange
ments, me and Henry took the phone.
graph to a room in Il 'dobe house in Il
dirty side street. where the grass was
knee high. Twas Il long room. lit with
smoky oil lamps. There was plenty OF
chairs and table ut the back end.
by and by the invitations to the
musicale came sliding in by pairs and
threes and spade hushes. Their color
was of a diversity, running from Il
three days smoked meerschaum to Il
l