The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

Medical societies. and approved by ye great
presidents Of said societies that II be wiocs
tudicious ana beneficial 10 the good and we'll
being of 20 patients and y6 honorcd selNcU.
thu, ye shall lay all singular and particular
business aside and shall meot in ye fostive hall
Of ye Commercial club otherwise known as ye
Fisher Harris inn May 3. at 80 p. m.
Unto this VIC hnYe set our hand and seal this
year 1906 A. D. r. F. ROOT
81, A, HUGES
Certificate Of Harms.
That there should be no fear of conse-
qucnccs, the following affidavit was af-
fixed to each copy OF the menu:
l hereby certify. that tho above drugs md
foods have been physologicelly tested on sixty
featherlesG plantigradc biped mammal OF the
genus homo-H. supieno n species OF the fam
ny Hominidae or Anthropidnc, order Prlmates.
class Mammnlia profession doctor and at this
date and hour tho effect OF said drugs and
foods have been to produce Inco-ordinntion In
motion and incohercncy In speech. showing en-
tire absence OF psychological brain oenters
HERMAN HARMS
May ., 1906 Ii p. m
Whitney Toastmaster.
DIR. f w. Whitney was toastmastcr.
and opened the post prandial exercises
saying: we all recognize the annual
banquet of this society as of no Ices
and perhaps more-importance that the
sessions which have Just closed 1t Is
here that we get acquainted and meet on
the common level OF good fellowship.
Good fellowship In any profession Is
Ike wlne-it mellows. 1t brings men
closer ana tncy discover the BOOu III edCh
other 1t has been said
There's so much good In the worst OF us,
And so much bad In the best OF US,
That II hardly behoovcs any of us
To talk about the rest OF us.
One Great Trouble.
Most OF the trouble among professional
men is due to mutual misunderstanding
through Ignorance Of each other In
Latin countries they have a period Of
rcvelry antedating the Lenten season
long enough to SOW what Wild oats you
may have on hand. and to get the bile
out Of your system, so that through sa-
tlcty and exhaustion you can calm down.
I'VE have a choice lot Of orators for
your deleetation, In lieu s of the latin
not quite sure that / would err greatly
were / to turn Into the arena as bulls
our first treat Is The Line of Dem4rka-
tIon' by DR.. "A. S. Bower I'm sure Bow
er was always q fiery fellow, Note his
wild eye, fierce visage and sleek coat
Note also that he is bald. HIS pedigree
Is like an Alaskan totem pole now
have the pleasure of presenting him to
your astonished gaze"
Dr.. Scallon Responds.
Dr. Bower was absent, and Dr. Scallon
responded briefly for him The second
treat was "OSleriSm," by Dr. A {. E%-
ing, who was introduced. after the fol-
lowing fashion:
IT is not to be wonder at that she has
taken a lively interest In things medical.
we therefore contemplate the doctor
spcech with pleasureable anticipation"
DR. Smedlcy responded to the toast in
an excellent short talk.
Dr.. Munro Is Heard.
ed to by DR.. Munro, who said; our
best advertising Is n womans blue
eyes, where they rain good influences.
What we need is kindness and bTotherly
Ip1p &c hn t1n 1t H.
ty OF our profession.
On Medical Education.
Medical education was responded TO
by Prof r. V. Chamberlain. who said in
part: 1--WE have too few medical schools.
The only true school is a school OF higher
standards. Germany does not recognize
tho American NJ D because of the low
Americans succeed through native ability.
and seldom because of the schools. Out
of 5000 medical graduates last year, 400
with the degree OF NJ. D. are driving
street cars In New York City. America
is the homo OF faklrs and auacks The
hope Of the profession Is In 5rinsinS In
n clear grasp of the languages and of
the higher branches of learning
Our Friends, the Boys.
"our Friends. the Boys" was respond
cd 10 by DR. Smith. who alluded In
feeling manner to DR.. Lyman S. Keen,
Jr., who should have responded and who
was lying critically III at his home In
was drunk standing and In silence
"The Latter Days" was introduced by
the toastmastcr, who said. This is a
subject OF the doctors own choosing and
the trend of his thoughts is unknown.
out in Utah, when we see Latter
Dave we Immediately decide the con-
text is Saints and shout Keno Phil
Ipplnol I've got it,, Can this be Jest
flung at the Latter-dav Saints hospital?
We shall see! This Beer is fresh and
full Of gas Wen now tap the Darrell. See
him foam and await intoXication.'
DR.. Beer responded In a humorous vein,
much to tho jollity of the party.
"Our Absent Ones"
"Our Absent Ones" was introduced by
the toastmaster who said: In the SEN
tlment | divine some tribute TO our de
parted friends, In the flesh how Homil-
ton and Mckenna and McElroy doted on
fraternizine on occasions like this! II is
possible In the spirit world they arc now
DR. W. A. Wade responded feclingly.
and a toast was drunk standing and in
silence.
Lights and Shadows"
Lights and Shadows wac responded
10 bv DR.. George Baker of Ogden, who
advocated fratcrnal feeling In and among
sneaker a toast WAS drunk to Ogden.
The nnal toast Some Patients That /
Have Known" was responded to by Dr.
StaufTer. who told many funny stories
OF queer patients. one OF whom was so
filled with asteroids that she could not
announcement was then made of the
now officers for the ensuing year. as fol-
lows: President, Fred Clift of Provo;
~ Harrison Salt Lake