The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-07-21

UUUi
"Wherc did you get your figures
from, Mr.. Bowserf" asked Mrs. Bow.
ser as he sat rubbing his hands 10.
gether and beaming at the eat.
"Trom a man right In the chicken
busIness.'
''And does he want 10 sell outT
''yes. Ills mother.ln.Iaw has come
10 live with him, and she hates chick.
ens She went out with pail Of boil.
Ing water the other morning and scald-
ed thirty Of them. IIe has either got
TO break her neck or give up the chick
ens and as he In man without much
backbone he has decided 10 seii out.
I'm TO give him All answer tomorrow.
Hell sell me tho farm for 5000 and
Tho 900 chickens he has for $500. Then
| 40 ahead and buy 400 more, and It's
oil clear sailing, That's the plan.
what do yon think OF itT'
lYou read your paper for few min
ntes and lot me do some figuring" she
replied.
"But what figuring In there 70. dor
"you viii see. OF course there are
always two sides TO plan"
"There can't be 10 this. It's the plain,
ant proposition ever stated. However,
no ahead and Agure. You may make
the income 5000 higher than do"
MIRA. Bowscr worked away for ten
minutes and then said.
"you will pay 5000 for the farm,
$500 for the chickens on hand aud
5000 for enough additional to make up
your thousand. The new coops and
runways win cost. say. $500: our re-
moval, 800. and the taxes NJ least s75
per year. A horse and wagon will cost
you $500. your help ut least 5000 and
the feed for 1000 hens cannot BIO less
than $1,000. Our household expenses.
with two men to board. cannot be less
than $1,000. Here ls an outgo OF ai'
most 1900 for the flrs. year, and you
must figure interest on over $1,000 Of
II. We will add 1850 for that"
Heavens. but has the woman gone
crazyf" gaspcd Mr.. Bowser as he look
cd at the eat.
Hens wonid Not Lay.
III you get 200 eggs per day the year
through from 1000 hens you viii be In
luck she continued. III we place the
price at 20 cents d dozen. which Is high
you will receive about $500. AS foi
the sale OF chickens, you can't figure on
over 200. This number at an aver
age OF 10 cents each VIII give you
| $i00. You will be sure 10 lose from
nsty 10 a hundred Of your hens per
year and have to renew, but we'll say
nothing about that. You have an outgc
the first year OF about $4,000 and m
income OF about $500. The second
year you have
II have nothingv' shouted Mr.. Bow
ser, with his face the color OF red paint
woman, knew how II would bel BY
the living lingo. but why can't keel
from making fool Of myselfT'
''The second year your income will b.
about q third OF your expenses. Yot
may, by sitting ON the yeranda and
smoking Partegas and tanning yourself
with palm leaf. finally get 1t down 4
1 one.half. but you cannot expect to dt
better. In other words
"Stopl ! will hear no moreF
but you don't want 10 sic on thu
vcranda and smoke and fan at los.
Of three or four thousand dollars q
year. do your she protested.
Leaves Home In Anger.
"Never you mind what want
am now golng out. You needn't sit W
for me. If any one calls. tell them thai
| may not be home for week. When
| | do come, shall have facts and ng
ures to shrivel you up like an old cab
bage"
Mr.. Bowser put on bis overcoat ant
hat and started out. He wanted evi
dence to convict Mrs. Bowser Of fals'
statistics, and he wanted sympathy
and he happened to remember that th'
family cobbler used to run a chicken
ranch In the country. He went arount
to the shop, and after few remarks
about the weather he said;
"Jake, would you advise me to taxi
q chicken farmi"
"vhas you thinking OF itr' was asked
every strongly"
eden let me advise something's bet
ter. Take a jackass farm"
''what do you meant"
III you take jackass farm you cai
be der biggest one among EN-"
Mr.. Bowser couldn't take man six
ty-nve years old by the neck and shak'
his whiskers loose, and SO he went out
Just as he stepped outdoors a maj
asked: #.s
Can ask you the way to the Rev
George Thompson's church, pleaseG"
"You can. but I'll eat you In return!
shouted Mr.. Bowser as Mont Pele'
finally burst forth.
The questioner was a clergyman him
self, He knew asphalt pavement, ant
he knew when to strike a gait, Wit
one loud, long cry OF "Poncel' he start
ed, and the three or four watchers O
the race agreed that at the end Of thu
Hrst block he had gained ten feet OF
Mr. Bowser and would run him out o
sight In three or four blocks more,
M. QUAD,
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