davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-08
THE LOGICAL END.


Now the boy OF tender years was
something OF a sophist.
Father" said he once. what truth
is there in the saying that clothes
make the mang'
"A great deal OF truth. my son."
said the old man. falling into the trap.
Very well. them" said the boy. II
take that view OF the case. In order
that boy may become a man Is it
highly necessary that he be always
suited?"
But the old man wasn't born yester-
day, either.
That isn't all. my son." said he. "A
suit OF clothes includes only coat and
vest and trousers. 1t Is also necessary
that boy be colIared and cured and
booted"
After this there fell a silence be-
tween them lasting several minutes
Exchange.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-08
PARIS VERSUS PAINT LICK.

TEN Colonel Henry Waterson selected forty young
NM right OFF the blue
Nv examples OF the bloom of Kentucky was
deemed daring venture The Kentucky peaches ex-
pectant Prsans called them The reputation for beauty
the Kentucky has travelled Jungle
Of Paris and the wilderness OF London and with
personal that the Frenchmen realized
ertisng bellies promise For,
Paris adverse and usual brought
peaches these
The of Kentucky culture had
the disappointment forgot
bruay Kissed the girls The press rd
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-08
CONVINCING WAY.

1--WE are often accused by Europeans
of caring entirely too much for money.
said the sensitive American.
Yes answered Mr.. Cumrox. The
only way we can convince them that
we don't care for money is to give it
up to them without murmur. WASH
ington Star.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-08
NOTE AND COMMENT.

know how Governor Pardee feels just ask Bat
Ting Nelson.
What Mr.. Hearsts political agents trying him.
any way?-srnother him in entangling alliances?
Now let if the California Democrats will ratify
oregone conclusion with the maximum of trouble.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-08
INDEFINTTE.
MECHANICAL.

That's my best work" said the poet
after reading the verses to Crittieh
I'm thinking of having it copyrtxhtea ,.
"Copyrisht2" said CrIttick. II
were you I'd have it patented"
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-08
:. In the Joke World. =. :.

is a good majority. Gimme me my
clothes."-Public Ledger.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-08

Townsend's Cal. glace fruits and can
oles az emporium, Post and Van Ness.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-08

A S it was narrated after midnight
~ and in the Press Club. there are
"A two reasons why it's truth should
90 11uuuesfiOned
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-08
MISTAKEN EFFORTS.

A benevolent old gentleman brimful
of information saw a rustic sitting on
fence gazing earnestly at telegraph
wires. Going up to the countryman.
he said:
Waiting to see message go long.
eh?"
The man grinned and said. "Ay.''
The benevolent old gentleman got
on the wall. and for the next quarter
of an hour tried hard to dispel his
ignorance
Now" he said at last. ~as you know
something about the matter. hope YOU
will spread your knowledge among
your mates on the farm"
But don't work on farm" replied
the rural citizen.
Where, then. may I ask?"
Me and my mates are telegraph
linesmen and we are testing a new
wire.'-New York Tribune.
INDEFINITE.
Would you give up smoking II
promised to marry your"
Would you give up PROMISING to
marry me II I said no?'
That depends"
80 1 think-"-cIeveland Leader.
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-08
San Francisco. August 20, 1906.

A PLEASANT event of the week
~ was the luncheon given on
Wednesday last by Lieutenant
Commander Barnes. U. 5. N, on
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-08

It T AVING heard from your COR
~ respondent as to the hopeless
condition of San Francisco,
- y .1.A - .1
The San Francisco call., 1906-09-08

Mrs. l. l.. Requa of Oakland has been
staying at Del Monte with her son-in-
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11

che protecting globe be broken ana 70
prevent the flying of incandescent mar.
ticles if the lamp globe itself should be-
shattered
The method of doing this consists in
surrounding the globe of the lamp itself
by a second glass covering fitted so rs
to be air tight. Within this second
globe is switch which normally
stands open, but which, when subject
ed to air pressure, closes the circuit
and allows the lamp to light.
The lamp is lighted by forcing air
into the outer globe, in this way closing
the switch. If, then, the outer globe
be shattered, the reduction in air press
ure which takes place Immediately will
extinguish the lamp before the inner
globe is broken. IT, on the other hand.
the inner globe breaks, the reduction
in pressure of the air in the outer
globe, due to the collapse of the inner
globe, will open the switch and put the
lamp out. In case of an accident Of
this kind the outer globe will, of course,
stop all flying particles and prevent
any fire. 1t is thought that the lamp
will have value in mines exposed to
explosive gases, in powder magazines
and in other places where there is dan
ger of an explosion.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
WASHINGTON, OREGON AND IDAHO"
MYSTERIOUS WELL At WESTON
Since Flood Water Imparts Peculiar
Flavor that Tastes Like
Mineral.

Before the flood last week F. NJ
Bryant had a fine well of water at
his place on lower Franklin street,
says the Weston Leader. After the
flood he has just as fine a well, and
the water therein is a clear as crys-
tai, but it has a peculiar taste, as
though containing mineral. This
characteristic is so pronounced that
the water cannot be used and it is
supposed that some subterranean
vein of mineral water must have burst
into the we'll during the flood. No
other we'll in this town is thus af-
fected, and the phenomena puzzles
everybody who tastes the water The
Leader man was consulted and
gives it up" He would in turn sub
nit the problem to Colonel Boyd, of
Athena. for solution but Boyd is not
an authority on water. He never
drinks it. and any sort of Adams ale
would doubtless nauseote him. When
Boyd comes to Weston he always
SHES violently at sight of the Main
street fountain and complains because
it doesn't spout beer
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
Morc Engineers Take Field.

LEWISTON. June 11.-During the
past two weeks two more surveying
crews have been. sent into the Clear
water country by the Chicago. Mil
Waukee & st. Paul road under direct
personal orders from Chief Engineer
Pearson, who will soon make a per-
sonal visit to this section. This in
formation was given by Mr.. Pearson
to a Lewiston citizen who met Mr..
Pearson on the coast a few days ago.
Mr.. Pearson ordered the two crews
to be placed in the field after he had
personally received the report of the
engineer who had with his party COM
pleted a reconnaissance survey on the
headwaters of the North Fork The
fact that two crews have now been
sent into that field is an indication
that the result of the reconnaissance
will justify permanent work
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
GOING FISHING.

II you're waking in the morning, call me
early. mother, dear.
For Peanuts Fink and Spider Brown and
Bricktop will be here.
And we know where the fishes swim and
where the shade is cool
And where's dandy diving place beside
the swimming pool.
I've brung the kindlings in, mother, you
wanted me to chop;
I've filled the woodbox till the wood is
spilling DER the top;
I've curried all the horses as my father
bade me do;
I've MIXED the cows and stopped the pigs
and fed the chickens too.
I've weeded out the onion bed and banked
the celery,
And I've transplanted cabbage plants and
propped the apple tree,
And have sailed all the sheep and fixed
the chicken coop
And run all the errands, mother, till felt
my spiritsedroop.
So, if you're waking early, call me early,
mother, dear,
For know where the Cravings play and
where the pools are clear,
And I've dug all the worms L want and
cut an alder pole,
And corks will bob tomorrow morn in
that old fishing hole.
j. NJ. Lewis in Houston Post.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
To Improve Rifle Range.

WASHINGTON, d. c., June 10
It is the intention of the war depart
ment to expend about one-fourth of
this years appropriation for target
craftsmanship facilities at Fort Riley,
Kan. The department still hopes that
the range at the Kansas City army
rost may be so equipped as to afford
an opportunity to hold the national
match of 1907 there If this idea is
approved it will mean an expenditure
at Fort Riley of fully $4,000. This
will leave only $4,000 for the rest
of the country, and it is a great ques-
ton how this may be most prOfitably
allotted and how to get the most out
of the disbursement. Among the
places which are regarded by the mil
itarv authorities as deserving of spe-
cial and immediate attention. are the
target ranges at Fort Sill, Okla; Chey-
enre. Wyo., and Fort Sheridan. Ill
Major General Wade, at Governor
Island has been asked to make his
recommendations regarding the allOt-
ment of target range funds in the At
lantic division, and it is possible that
a small part of the sum remaining OF
the Fort Riley allotment will be ex-
pended at a few points in General
Wades territory. The total fund to be
available after July l, however, is only
about one-tenth of what the war de-
partment regard as absolutely neces-
sary. if there is to be the proper pro-
motion of national craftsmanship.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11

THE HALL OF FAME.

John Perugini, for many years iden-
tilted with light opera as a singer. has
become Wall street broker.
George O. Starr has succeeded the
late James A. Bailey as manager Of
the big Rarnum & Bailey circus. He is
q former Philadelphia.
President Roosevelt is sitting for a
portrait in oil to be made by Irving r.
Wiles of New York at the suggestion
of the emperor of Germany and others
to be placed in the University of Ber-
lin.
The Earl of Harrington was born
sixty-twO years ago and succeeded his
father in the title in 1881. He is one Of
the peers who have dabbled in trade.
In 1894 he opened a fruit shop in Par
lament street in LonSRn.
The only negro officer of the army
who is West Pointer is Charles
Young, at present on duty as military
attache at Port au Prince, Haiti. Cap
tain Young entered the Military acad-
envy in 1884 and was graduated in
1889.
To Ralph Talbot, Jr., second lieu
tenant of the Twelfth cavalry, belongs
the distinction of being the youngest
commissioned officer Of the United
States army. He was born in 1884 and
was commissioned five days before his
I minority expired.
Richard Burke the EngliShman, has
given up hunting and will sell his es-
tablishment and go to San Francisco
to help in the reconstruction OF his
damaged property there. He is part
owner of many buildings in San Fran
cisco and is married to wealthy
American, Miss Donaghue.
Bennett Burleigh, the English war
correspondent, has about recovered
from a long siege of pneumonia. Mr..
Burleigh is the oldest Of war CORE
! spondents now on the active list, hav-
| ing first smelled gunpOwder in the civil
war over forty years ago. Since then
he has served in half the countries OF
the world.
NJ. Jusserand, the French ambassa-
| dor. since his residence in Washington
has largely added to his reputation as
/ an orator. He has always been known
rather as a profound scholar and stu
dent, but in the speeches he has made
in this country he has shown original
| ity of research and high degree of
forensic ability.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
Canal Will Be Expensive.

The government canal at Cello will
cost $10.000.000. instead of $4,000, 600
according to l. H. Taffe, who has been
operating fish wheels near there for
twenty years, says the Portland Tele-
gram.
The contractors. Smith & Jones,
who are digging the first half mile at
the Cello end. will lose $1OO. 600 on the
job he said. They took it at too low
figure, evidently not knowing the
nature of the rock they have to blast
out. Their bid was $294,0 900 They have
about 100 men at work preparing a
foundation for the rock work on the
upper end of the canal"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
EDITORIAL FILINGS.

If the earth must quake, why doesn't
it turn in and rip a nice, wide crack
across Panama. Richmond Times
Dispatch.
The Smoot trial has cost the govern
ment $4,000. Sometimes 1t takes more
money to get a man out Of the senate
than it does to put him in.-Toledo
Blade Qnd).
Some day somebody will invent a
model street car, and then people will
complain because it doesn't provide
any place for anybody to stand up
Boston Globe.
There is a crying demand for reform
Of bridge rules. Like all other games,
the bowling need is for some rule by
which the loser will not have to lose
Washington Post.
Indiana Dunkards recently decided
that the telephone was a device of
Satan. They must have been trying to
get somebody when the wire was busy.
Chicago Record Herald.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
AROUND THE HOUSE.

Soap and wood ashes are excellent
for cleaning zinc tubs and pals.
When laundering lace curtains if a
creamy shade is desired add clear
strong coffee to the starch.
Sprinkle the mating with Indian
meal and then sweep it thoroughly,
sweeping out the meal and the dirt
with it.
Whiting and sweet oil mixed to a
paste and rubbed on silver with piece
Of flannel will brighten it. Wipe with
a soft cloth and polish with chamois
skin.
Widths Of mating sewed together
with loose stitch, using carpet thread,
makes the floor covering look heater
and wear better than when staples are
used to fasten it down.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
Campaign Joke at Weston.

Next day after the election at Wes-
ton, some earth was thrown up at the
intersection of Main and Water streets
to find a water main. says the Weston
Leader. If afforded an opportunity for
lugubrious and painful joke at the
expense of the republican party A
grave-like mound was made of the
gravel and decorated with tin cans.
old bottles. cabbage radishes and on
ions. On the headstone appeared the
following epitaph: Here lie the re-
mains of the republican party. What
a shame, There's a resurrection day
a-coming" The footstone told the fol-
lowing mournful story: "Assassinated
June by the republican boilers"
Some waggish young republicans are
said to be responsible for thus por-
traying their party's burial.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
Would Turn Road Over to City,

NORTH YAKIMA. June IA
movement is on foot here to organize
a syndicate of business men to build
and operate an electric railway system
for the city, and connecting with
other parts of the valley The BUSH
will put up 100000 and all needed
above that amount will be raised by
mortgage on the plant At the next
meeting of the council a franchise will
be asked
The citizens propose to build with
the idea of turning the system over
to the city at some time in the fu-
ture for operation.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
LusOl, n New Light Giver.

After electric lights, luSOl The Paris
municipal authorities are extending
their street lighting trials with lusol,
which is a hydrocarbOn recovered as a
byproduct in making blast furnace
coke The light is said to be even soft
er than that of alcohol. and a 100 can
die lamp of the type hitherto employed
costs only cent per hour, while the
domestic lusol lamp gives double the
light at half the cost of good kerO-
sene lamp. One use Of the new illu-
minant will be to form reserve In
case Of unforeseen gas or electric light
extinction.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11

the little church. What an interest
ing life you have had. ana now Ior-
innate we Americans are to have the
chance to lead such lives, and, My
daar Mrs Nevcomb. it is of mighty
small Importance whether we are
democrats or republicans, but 1T is OF
worry real importance that we should
he good Americans and do our duty in
straight and decent fashion.
sincerely yours,
THEODORE ROOSEVELT"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
e..vck Rake at the Table.
I USED to like the juicy steak
Which is the epicure's delight,


Which is the epicures delight,
II But recent revelations make
Me doubt my wisdom with each bite.
For. since tbs told how butchers slip
Into the watts and packers bungle.
The meat that fingers at my lip
Comes highly favored Of the jungle.
cannot live on eggs alone,
And even eggs. as you may see.
When slightly old and overgrOwn
Are not what they're cracked up to be.
And, while against it as a food
I have no single word to utter,
From things I've read I've understood
There's many a horrid past to butter.
Through all my life with relish 1
My morning glass of milk have taken.
My faith-I say it with a sigh
In milk has been quite rudely shaken.
For, since pure food became the rage
And argument grows hot and hotter,
l read on many printed page
That milk is largely chalk and water.
The maple strip that my youth
Was wont, with griddlecakes. to feed Oh
Has neither candor in t nor truth,
So public judgment is agreed on.
And, where the apples in their juice
Were wont to steam and stew and sput-
ter,
They grind up turnips now for use
In making "old farm apple butter"
Alas, may lose faith in man
Aye, and I may lose faith in woman!
I may lose faith that there is plan
Or purpose in this being human,
But for my future peace I quake
It boots not be l saint or sinner
If all these revelations make
Me lose my simple faith in dinner!
j. W. Foley in New York Times.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
POINTED PARAGRAPHS,

Stolen sweets are often hard to d.
gest.
More men are willing to lend an ear
than q hand.
After it is all over q man wonders
why he was worried.
1t takes a born diplomat to observe
without being observed.
A whipping doesn't hurt a man so
much as the thoughts of being whipped.
No girl with new engagement ring
can understand why any one should
want to wear gloves.
Forgiving without forgetting is a
good deal like giving receipt for mon
ey without signing your name to it
Chicago News.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
Two to One.

Seated in a crowded traction car
some time since was a very stout wo-
man who weighed about 300 pounds,
and beside her, squeezing into a space
about three inches broad, was a mes
senger boy--one Of those very small
abused looking boys.
The stout woman, after looking about
the car for awhile. noticed two young
ladies standing near her and, turning
to the small boy beside her, said:
Little boy, why don't you get up
down.
why don't you get up and let 'em
both sit DOWN." replied the boy, much
to the amusement Of the rest of the
passengers.-Detroit Free Press.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
WIN Us AHA uoesn charge Il cent
Woman'S Home Companion.
In the Kitchen.

Wife-Well, John, l don't see how l
can suit you. You don't like my cook
ing. and you have complained of every
cook l have hired. | can't get one to
suit.
Husband (stubbornly)-YOu could if
you went after the right one.
Wife-That's all you know about it.
l telegraphed your mother yesterday
Offering her $40 week. and she de-
clined to cOme.-BOhemian.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
POLITICS IS NOT IMPORTANT
Rep|u Of President Roosevelt 10
h|Oman'S Letter
WAS WRITTEN TO MRS. ROOSEVELT
PROVIDED WE DO OUR DUTY IN
STRAIGHT AND DECENT FASH
ION," HE SAYS.

LINCOLN, Neb., June 11.-Mrs.
Newcombe, of Deweese, Neb., is the
proud recipient of a letter from Presi-
dent Roosevelt The letter is the out
come of one written recently to Mrs.
Roosevelt asking her to contribute
handkerchief to a church bazaar to be
mans letter was so interesting that it
attracted Mrs. Roosevelt's attention,
and she showed it to the president.
1t told of the Newcomb home and the
little Deweese church. located on the
historic Blue river. The old Mormon
trail crosses the farm and a quarter
of a mile below is Liberty ranch,
which the government maintained
years ago for the Pony Express COM
pany The letter also contained the
information that the Newcomb family
had been and still We're democrats,
but that "our president, God bless
him. is making it very difficult for us
to know where we are at" The fol-
lowing is the letter of reply which
Mrs Newcomb received:
"The White House. Washington.
May My Dear Mrs. Newcomb:
Your letter to Mrs. Roosevelt inter-
ested both her and me so much that
! write just line myself
Il am sending you a photograph
and | wish you all success in building
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
ORGANIZE STATE POULTRY ASSN,
North Yakima Chicken Fanciers Plan
Corporation With Capital
Stock of $1,000.
NORTH YAKIMA,

a
number of poultrymen of North Yak
ina and vicinity met in the city hall
few nights ago and formed the
Washington State Poultry association.
to be an Incorporated body whose cap
ital stock will be divided into 1000
shares. All of the stock was sub
scribed at this meeting.
ON June 20 a meeting will be held
at which officers will be elected ind
constitution and bylaws adopted.
The poultry industry is receiving a
great deal of attention here, and the
business is being gone into on a large
scale by many of the ranchers, who
have found it profitable.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
OLD FASHIONED,

What has become Of the old fash
Toned woman who was accused of
prinking?
What has become Of the old fash
Toned man who always asked his tall
friends, How is the weather up
there?"
What has become of the old fash
Toned man who said to a visitor when
dinner was ready, "Set up and have
bite?"
What has become of the old fash
Toned man who said In abusing a
neighbor, He hasn't the sense he was
born with T-Atchison Globe.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
Paving the Way.

"Why are you SO anxious to have me
pay this bill of $1,000 this afternoon?'
asked the business man. Your propri-
etor knows I'm good for it,
Il know it." replied the clerk, "but
it'll tickle him so if he gets it before
it's due, and | want to ask him for his
daughters hand tonight. detroit Free
Press
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
The DiscOuraxinx Man.

What do you want with an automo-
hle?' asked the discouraging man.
II want to get out in the country and
bear the songs of birds and smell the
perfume Of the flowers"
'Oh. that's it! Well. what you'll hear
is the hOnk Of the chauffeur's horn and
what you'll smell is gasoline. "-Wash-
ingtOn Star.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
Called.
civilian Henry"

civilian Henry
"Yes-yes. Maria.'
"What are you dOing|
Reading about the man with the
muck rake"
well. you go right in that garden
and let me see you be the man with the
garden rake, and be quick about it,
Chicago News
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
Conditional FOOlery.

docs the car appoint the dean Of
the douma?"
Il didn't know there was any such
officer"
mo more do l. Only 1 thought If
there was dean and the car appoint
ed him he would be car dean.
wouldn't he ?"-Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
Poor TOMMY.

Tommy-Pa. smoked your pipe to-
day.
Pa-What!
Tommy-You said IL would make me
sick, but 1t didn't
Pa-You misunderstood me. my son.
I said I'd make you sick. Hand me
that strap!-Philadelph Ledger.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1906-06-11
Easy Way Ont.

The Maid-I like you well enough,
Harry. but l made a vow years ago
that wouldn't marry any man on
earth.
The Youth-That's all right. Fanny.
Well be married In balloon.-Hous-
ton Post.