Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-01-14
Don't

Don't
Lose your husbands temper. Losing your
own is bad enough. but the worst thing In
married life is the woman who continually
is losing or at the best temporarily mis-
placing, her husbands temper-and then
blaming him.
The nagging habit really is responsible Tor
more vile-tempered husbands than anything
else in the world. husband, as all wise
wives know as just what his VIE makes
him and the man who flies into a passion
and speaks angrily. or sometimes even re-
sorts TO blows. nine times out OF ten has
been tried out of all patience by his WIFE,
OF course there are brutes who strike their
wives and abuse them under any circum-
stances but when the ordinary, everyday
husband does such things he does them in
a fit of uncomfortable anger and, traced
back to the beginning. the wife is to blame
The nagging woman reaches the divorce
court quicker than any other and the hus-
band seldom defends her action.
NagGing ordinarily is a result of nerves.
Men do not understand appreciate wo-
mems nerves, and thus they unconsciously
encourage or stimulate nagging. And, once
begun, the nagging becomes habit. The
big thoughtless healthy man with the weak,
nervous, ONeT"OTheu vile Is tiit
victim. He is so strong and healthy that he
has little sympathy with nerves. He grunts
and smokes contentedly. and feels a little
disturbed and annoyed by the constant COM
plants from the other side of the table or
the room. II, wife lees aggrieVed because
he is not more sympathetic and, to make
him feel something, she resorts to nastler
and sharper words. Being big ana heaIlhy
he is patient until some day some sharper
jab than usual strikes a tender spot and
all the resentment for past naggings surges
through him. The result is a domestic
scene, and possibly d divorce suit.
The wise woman, even If she has grown
to love nagging for the pleasure of infict-
ing pain, car oy the recreation without
danger by studying the symptoms that pre-
Cede outbreak. When she sees her hus-
band shut his lips firmly together and grow
silent suddenly after she has pricked him
with some 81 AZ Teech, or notices MS
hands clinch. or when he gets up suddenly
and throws his paper away with quick
gesture, she can be sure that she Is about
to lose her husbands temper She should
let up then for time. if not permanently,
for no man will bear all things in patience,
and the nae IN wife : one of the hardest
things to bear in the world Especially for
man who does not understand nerves
Most
OF the things that we say will bear to be
turned exactly around in the way of put
versational art upon which so many things
depend as the faculty of putting thing
positively instead of putting 1t negatively.
The way it will work for your own good
and the good of everybody else is little
short of marvellous.
The servant is taking a course that has
got to be stopped. Instead of telling her so
in terms of negation, tell her of some other
course which you have seen her take with
which you are nightly pleased, of some
way that you have thought of for her to do
instead. You will find that you will not give
half so many orders, because the better
plan is not so easy to evolve. but it will give
better results. She will listen to you with
would give a sniff of Indifference And in
thinking the matter over to see what is
really the best way the developing power
to oneself is simply amazing.
1t is the same with the children Orders
to stop this and that are received with in
difference. while suggestion as to q better
way of doing things is hailed an idea
worthy of attention. One whose advice Of
ten was asked and taken made II rule
never to give advice negatively. There al
ways is a reflection in telling people not to
do things, she said. The plan applied to
ones small talk may be carried to the
point where IL becomes an inspiration.
About to criticise some one, ever so ndi-
rectly and without mentioning any names,
Turn IL anu 1T the opposite CoHolllOnS 10
some individual. even if he has TO be mag
ined, and you find yourself telling fairy
tales.
Everybody remembers the story of the lit
tie almshouse girl, who, never having any
other possessions to tell about, always
when the rest had told their stories, fell
back on the sister she had once had to
whom had belonged beauty and clothes and
all the lovely things of earth. 1t was the
best story of all and everybody shared her
delight in the sister who, after ALL never
existed but was just invented of necessity
Hearers are not critical and more often
than not the glory of the one who has been
so beautiful in doing this or that will go
partly appropriated. The visitor will go
away suffused with the thought that she
may come within the circle to which can be
fitted the ways you have been describing
or at least she is inspired to meet the speci-
fcations. If you had spoken in the opposite
way she would have gone with the ranking
sense that your remarks applied TO her.