The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-05-26


"Were you frightened when you
arose to make your first speech"
"May, I read you my last poem r.
"You may, If it really Cleveland
Leader.
you're not happy with your hus-
band. are your Yes, but for good
ness sake don't tell Cleveland
Leader.
Gladys-He is such an impulsive
lover! Edith-If girl shows him the
least encouragement he runs Chicago
Daily News,
"What should brighten me?" 'srhe au-
dience." 1.-THE audience left as soon as
my name was announced. 20 Cleveland
Plain Dealer
Stella-Why have you got string
tied around your finger. Bella re-
mind me whose engagement ring am
wearing. -Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Slimson-I thought you were
coming home early to punish Willie for
telling that lie? Slimson-I was, but
had to stop at the City Hall and swear
of my taxes.--Life.
Knicker-What will become OF their
children? Booker They viii be taken
from the servants OF the father and
brought up by the servants of the moth
|er.-New York Sun.
Kind Lady-Have you ever had edu-
cational advantages, little boy? Ragged
Kid-Nope, but I've had mumps an
measles an hoopin' cough. Don't want
nothin' else" Cleveland Leader.
Mr.. Borem-Could see Miss Fibbs?
Maid-Faix! that's what she was won
derin' as We come acrost the street. Mr..
Borem--Ah, then she's in. Maid-Yes,
but she's not at home.-Philadelph
Press.
Teacher-Tommy. when was Rome
built? Tommy-In the night. Teacher
How came you to make such mis-
take1 Tommy-You said yesterday
Rome wasn't built In day.-Chicago
Journal.
sonny" said the good old man, I'm
surprised that you should tease the cat
in that way" "Why?" replied the boy,
pauslng in his inhuman work, do you
know any better wayy'-Philadelph
Ledger.
do you think that these people will
be received In fashionable society p
YES answered Miss Cayenne; II
think they will even go further than
that and be received in polite society,""
Washington Star.
"Oh! yes, he's travelling incog. They
say he's knight in England knight
or baron or something" He'd better
be careful or night n New York will
make him barren Of everything
Philadelphia Press. -
"Pop!' Yes, my son." did you
ever lirt before you were married?"
why, yes, my boy" "And were you
caught at IT." "Yes, my boy" who
caught you. pop?" Your mother !"-l
Yonkers Statesman.
Edna (wrfting composition Dear
me, I have forgotten which are the sew
en- wonders Of the world. think I'll
ask Mrs. Brown. Tom-Don't. Edna
why not? Tom-Well. she has seven
children-Chicago Daily News.
"And what are you doing in the cap
ital?' said the Washington citizen to a
friend from the West. '''Oh, / came to
see Congress make few lawsS' I'm
deed? Then you intend to reside here
for number OF years?' Cleveland
Leader.
Charlle-Don't you remember? It'll
was that d<g you borrowed five shil-
lings of mu Jack (hastily)-I don't
recollect anything Of the sort. Charlie
But you paid it back next week.
Jack-Oh. yes! remember that per-
fectly. London Tit-Bits.
Assistant Edltor-T see here that an
English general was badly cut in open
ing wine bottle. What sort of a head
shall put on 1t? Managing Editor
OH, Just say Serious Accident to Brit
ish Man-of-War in Attempting to Get
Into Port."-American Spectator.
English Guide-The echo ERE In these
mountains is very fine. sir. Tourist
(after shouting Hello !")-Well, there
is an echo, but it isn't distinguishable.
English Guide You don't understand
the languidge, sir. These are Welsh
mountains. y'know. - Philadelphia
Press. .
]. A bashful young couple, who were
evidently very much in love, entered q
crowded street car a Boston the other
day. do you suppose we can squeeze
in here?" he asked. looking doubtfully
at her blushing face Don't You think,
dear, we had better wait until we get
homer" was the low, embarrassed reply.
Life
"What preparation have you under
Ieone, asked the great explorer, scorn-
fully. ssfor the hapdships unavoldably
attendant on the expedition you wish to
take with met" Il have frequently
xuolkad acroaa the hath room linnlcrm