Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-05-19
THE HORSE BUG CURE

ell the I'D - our fn4x tneY 70 9oxnB
to open poo1 ro0m down sousuhere in or
around Alexandria hefore the lat Of June. :.
observed man who hears about snch
thdnsa. And It b mot one Of fhces tips
built upon tdls rumors, but the real kindlfng.
They've got ali Of their plans arranged to
open. and from the present outlook the
opening b not going to take place such q
very great distance from the town Of Alex
andrfa itself How the people back Of tbs
thing are going to got by with IT. a. the
saying runA don't know. But they're go
ing about with whole lot OF condolences.
and they're claiming that the hour = about
due for them to rise Phoenix-like out OF the
ashes OF the busted old st. Asaph plant.
Wen. they'll get the play all right.
There isn't the least particle OF doubt that
II they succeed in opening up the doors
they'll take the money across the counters
And II the pool room folks succeed in get
ting the old game going again DOWN IN Alex
all hands In authority just throw their
hands up here and In all Of the environs
hereabouts. and let EN- start pool rooms
everywhere
what viii be the use of making the poor
fellows spin all the way down to Alsxan-
dria in order to gratify their natural ana
commendable bunch to shoot In their com
ON those to shots that are scrawied UP
On TIC Da0oAOOaIQ al D " v Va SN<AA A4AoAxcS =
why should they be forced to leave town
at all or to Inconvenience themselves In
the least in order to paste their surpiusage
of earned or une4rned Increment onto the
withers OF the land crabs that they ike
to win?
why don't the District authorities for
instance, let 'ern start q nice, cunnin little
pooh room, say, under tent on the triangle
Of government land on Pennsylvania ave-
nue.. between 18th and 1871 streetA and let
'em pike their dun away comfortable and
easy, with little pedestrian music on the
side7
they let 'em ,rig up nice little pool rooms
In the rear OF all Of the rumoriuns. 30
to make It handy for the poor. unfortunate
never-sweats that have got callouses on
their mitts from handling the shears In cut
ting out the dope sheetsf
FOR I'm a-telling you. when 1t comes to
that, that the man with the pear-shaped
head who's possessed OF the horse Dug ~
going to keep right on playing EN-; JUST
anyhow, no matter II he has to get where
he can enjoy the chance to play them by
walking backward through Jungle country
that would have made Henry NJ Stanley
turn back and announce that he intended to
60 into the egg and butter business.
There are hull lot Of different kinds
OF whisky. a-plenty OF It. sold right here
in little old Washington, that'n make q
squirrel expectorate in the countenance OF
Jaokal-but there's only one kind OF q
horse bug. and when that gets a-hold OF
you, you might just az well cancel al
dates, for it's going to lean on you right
hard till they stuff you into your little
brown-stained box and begin to tell each
other that. after all, you did have q neat
habit Of keeping the dope sheets, anyhow:
They can close up all Of the st. Asaphs
from here to Point o Rocks ana back. ana
they can impress all OF the zeke sner1 irs
fronts with the Juice Of the navy plug, ana
they can tear down all Of the wires that
were ever uncoiled by the wire trust. ana
then can exhale caloric air ABOUT rne eVii
Of the horse game until all OF the neighbor-
ing country has got that charred look-and
vet the foxy Ferdies with the two acres OF
figures anent past performances m their
heads or what they please to call their
heads are going to and some way to get
their MACON down on the ring -around-tne-
rosy skates that they pick. just anyhow
"so-as I've been thinking. since I heard
this astonishing tip about the room tnat
use Of trying to ride herd upon them7
when It comes to that. no effort 10 made
to. restrain the merry, merry bucket-snop
boy who buys fifty shares OF Copper on
Of that n the stuffed club Of the law
raised to smdte the receding- chinned munk-
a-da-munk who inhales fifteen or twenty
highbalis at plenty of places on sunday al
ternoons in Washington.
$50. to take that tenderloinizh view Of
it. why should all OF this sou sou west
breeze be wasted on the plans OF the peo-
pie who want to give the horse bug bunch
= chance to stuff In their cush in a nice.
handy sort of way1
1.-THE ony way to wholly eradicate the
horse bug from the human frame Is TO tie
the pcSsessor OF 1t permanently ia the back
ward and then tell him Of evenings after
nightfaIi the names Of the 100 to winners
that he likes until he becomes bug-house
sure enough, and then he can be toted over
to the large foolish house In Anaoosua.
.In the meantime, though. I'd like to be
able to reconcile the confidence Of these
horsy folks about the re-opening In or
around Alexandria, with the determined
statement that we heard when 81. Asapn
Closed that the pool-room game was over
for ever in Alexandria county. I sure
would"