The Richmond palladium. (Richmond, Ind.) 1906-1907, 1906-06-09

~ the oatmeal kingdom We're al
~ Minneapolis, or some other
- Norwegian town, scrapping
with the Svens and Oles, a
Scotch alderman named Macbeth did
the enemy so much dirt that every
body was talking about it.
He and his main heeler, Banquo
got so numerous and abusive on the
field of carnage that the taffy-haired
foe lost count of them and hiked for
Medicine Hat as if Carnegie had offer
ed them a library.
The King of Caddieland at that
time was Duncan. This Dunk was too
white a man to hold big job in those
pre-exposure days. He believed in
people. How foolish of him. He was
so thoroughly pleased when he and
his two boys heard about what a
swath Macbeth had cut in the ranks
of the Gov. Johnson vote that he re-
marked TO a little covey of highball
inventors with him at the time that
anything Macbeth wanted was his n.
There's nothin' to it," he concluded,
eloquently.
NJ" LllIo hdSDtIh Ddl Ndo as
spooky as they make 'em. A little
too much excitement, few spiked
lemonades a casual murder or two,
and it was the pale green elephants
and lavender ichthyosauril for his,
with now and then cerise mastodon
believing through the herd, looking
for it's calf. So when he and Bank
were hurrying home before the re-
turn coupons on their tickets should
expire, a squad of toothless damosels
with wrinkles and whiskers and the
complexion of London fog headed
them off and passed them a consign,
ment of con about Macs being King
some day and Banks being the father
of a few monarchs. There never was
22-short man that didn't think he
was a 16-inch breech-loader in dis
guise, so it was the buzzy hive in the
headgear of Mac and Bank from then
on.
Mac wrote home to his wife and
told her all about the occult bunch.
and Mrs. Mac said:
"Yes, but whatll he do with tip
like that Lie around and swell UP
over it, and never do a thing to make
good. He's one of those mealy-mouth
ed S. p. G.. AS that, just because a
mans a friend .of his, he hesitates
about killing him. The aluminium car
diac for mine. I'll dast him and dast
him till he dassent do nothing but
what | dast him to-till he has saw
his duty and did It,"
So when Mac comes home, after q
the old girl that the high guy would
warm their spare bed that night, Liz
zie losses him a wink and says:
but when will he leave-eh?"
Tomorrow" says Mac, not being
on.
unless my dope is away to the
erroneous" says Lizzie, that to-mor
row Of Dunk's will be sidetracked
somewhere. Get me-? We're goir/
to be as nice to him as If he VIE
going to leave us a lot of real estate
when he dies, which he is, though he
dosen't know it, and there's use worry
ing him about it. Well get every
body else drunk tonight and stay
sober ourselves if it kills us. Then
we'll slip silver of Schwab metal in
to his nibs, smear a lot of his claret
on the doped guards, and tomorrow
I'll be Mrs. King. And won't | make
the rest of my bridge whist club re
semble certain small currency"
Mac said he kind o. thought it was
rude to treat visitor that way, but
that it was less cruel than showing
him the family album. anyway.
But anything to please the lady
was the way he finally put it.
Along about midnight Mac saw tha
everything was snug for the night, pre-
scented Dunk with his nice new pune
ture, wiped the penknife on a con
venient guard, or two, and turned in
For some reason or other he was rest
less for awhile. But 1t probably was
because it was a stormy night and {
shutter on the bathroom window rattl
ed so.
Early next day it was discovered
that somebody had fatally meddlet
with Dunks circulation scheme, ant
several of those present were RICH
badly put out about it. When MAJ
heard pf II ba was perfp civ furiOu