The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-03-16
any moment to zee Virginia secc4S
and go out of the union.

any mOfltuL W WC0 FlE5lu SCCo4o
and go out of the union.
There was nothing more for me to
do except to drink my cup of after
dinner coffee, and smoke my cigarette,
and quit, and l was patting myself on
the back at my success and squirming
around in the chair, cause the pin in
my tail hurt my back, but | never said
word. The attendant brought in the
coffee and ! took couple OF swal-
lows, when I realized that somebody
had put cayenne pepper into it, and
was hot under the collar, but though
was burning up inside, I never
peeped, but just choked and took a
swallow of water and vowed to kill the
person that made the coffee.
/ kept my temper till the trainer
handed me the cigarette and match,
and the first puff | realized that they
had filed the cigarette with snuff,
and after blowing out the smoke | be-
| gan to sneeze, AMI the audience fairly
went wild. | sneezed about eight
times, and at every sneeze the pin in
my spine hurt like thunder, but never
sneeZe, when my monkey mask flew of,
and then boy about my size, right in
front of me, yelled: cit amt a mon
key at all, it is little Niger" and he
| threw a ripe persimmcn and hit me
right in the eye. I said right out in
| plain English: You're . liar and
can knock the stuffing out of you
I pulled off my dress coat and started
for him, but pa grabbed me on one
side and the monkey trainer on the
other, and they tried to get me to
return to the monkey character, and
chatter, and pa put my monkey mask
on me, but l struck right there, and
pulled it off, and told him and the
managers that / would not play mon
key any more with tail pinned to
my spine, my stomach full Of cayenne
pepper and my nostrils full Of Scotch
snuff, and my face all puckered up
with persimmons.
The crowd yelled: Fraud, Fraud!
Kill the bald-headed old man who Is
the father of the monkey" and they
were making rush to clean out the
show when the dressing-room door
opened TO let the hippodrome chariot
racers out, and the way the chariots
scattered the crowd was a caution.
That saved us from serious trouble,
for the chariots run over a lot Of ne
groes, which pleased the audience, and
they let us of without killing US.
They got me back to the dressing-room
and had to take a pair Of pinchers to
get that safety-pin out of my spine,
and on the way to the dressing-room
some one walked on my monkey tail
and pulled it of, and that was a dead
loss. Pa sat by me and famed me.
cause I was faint, and then he said:
MY boy, you played your part well,
until the persimmon hit you, and
then you forgot that you were an
actor, and became yourself and
don't blame you for wanting to punch
that boy who called you a little mig
| ger, and said / was your pa. After
thiso chariot race is over we will go
around in front Of the seats, and find
the boy, and you can do him up.
Your monkey business was the fea-
| ture of the show to-day"
We went out and found a boy that
| looked like the one that sassed me,
but he must have been his big broth
er, cause when 1 went up to him
and swatted him in the nose, he gave
me a black eye, and 1 am sight.
That evening, at the performance,
we cut out the educated ourang ou-
| tang, and the lawyer We met on the
cars came to the show, and said we
would all be arrested for not perform
| ing all we advertised, but he could
settle it for hundred dollars, and
pa paid him the money, and he went
out and got jag AID came in the
show and was going TO make trouble.
when pa took him to the cage where
the 40-foot 5oaconstrictor was uncoil-
ing itself, and the Virginian got one
look at the snake and went through
the side of the tent yelling: 1--WE got
| 'em again. Catch me, somebody"
We got out of town before morning,
and nobody was arrested, except the
negroes thag got run over in the
chariot race.