The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-11-25
SOME NEW WAYS IN
A COUNTRY HOUSE
Less Formally Than Ever at
WeekSend Visits
THE POPULAR GUEST
He Looks Out for HImself--The Pass
Ing of the BREAD and Butter
Letter"-TlppIne Much
Exaggerated Evil.
POPULAR GUEST

country places about the city do not con-
sist altogether of men returning after a
stay in the country. There are often as
many women as men. The party may be
coming in from Jersey or Westminster,
and there will always be the women.
They have made it for the present sea-
son the fashion to return TO town with
the men when the people that have been
stopping in the country over Sunday
| come home. The hostess comes along
with them. The same party will in all
proba bility be found later in the day TAX
ing luncheon at some of the large res
taurants. Only the men will be missing
then.
This is one of the fashions made by the
waning season Of country house life.
There are others that have developed this
year. Some Of them are revolutionary
Il must say cannot quite get used TO
the abolition of the bread and butter let
ter a rather mature hostess said the
other day But it would be absurd to
expect people to send it today and con-
slider them rude if they did not The de-
parting guest expects to see you SO soon
that he does not consider it necessary
to send you the old-fashioned note telling
you how much he enjoyed his stay. Even
and butter letter, however, was very
polite if old-fashioned institution. Those
early Victorian habits were courteous and
quaint in their day.
other Changes.
There are other changes which it is a
little hard to get accustomed to- 1t is al
ways a mild shock to me to go out of the
mouse and leave my guests alone. | know
it's done at Newport, but down here on
Lond Island we are less advanced So
ciaily. 1t is of course impossible to
take all your guests out to u dinner, and
sometimes there are not dinners enough
for all of them. Last week a friend tele-
phoned me she was going to keep an en-
gagement to dine with me that had been
made several weeks before, and wanted
to know If l could take ten of her guests
to dinner that night 1t was out OF the
question. I had invited twenty persons.
and 1 might have provided for four or
five more, but ten were not to be thought
of So | had to tell her to bring only
four. The other six had to dine at home
alone, although / don't believe they mind
ed it.
'"rhen there are the arrangements that
the guests make before they arrive. L
had a man down here last week from
Friday to Monday, and he only took din
ner with us once. When his friends in
the county heard he was coming donw to
us they all invited him to their houses,
and the result was he had very little
time for us. We all breakfast in our
rooms, so we first meet at lunch. He
was away twice to lunch, so we really
saw very little of each other. Guests
like that are never in danger of palling
on their hosts. On the other hand. they
make it possible for us to go off and leave
them without compunction-or at least
without too much conjunction
lnconvenient Guest.
THE most inconvenient kind of a guest
is the one who wants to be looked out
for. So many persons now make their
own plans for enjoying themselves when
they visit In the country that they do
not want to be looked after. There was
a woman at the place next to ours last
week who did not want to do thing
that the rest of the party was about to
do or that her hostess had arranged for
her. One night when the hostess was go
ing to a dinner that she had accepted
weeks before this woman refused point
blank to go to the house at which the
rest of the party was to dine. She looked
just as unhappy at the suggestion that
she should dine alone at home
"'Oh, don't mind me-, she said I think
I'll run into town for the evening. Just
let me have one of the motors or, if they
are all in use, just send, me to the train.
anyhow. and 1t will suit me perfectly.
"She went up to town, and as she was
fortunate enough to get the use OF mo-
tor, she was able to come back the same
night. Even that independence Is prefer
able to the helplessness of the woman
that sits and looks at you as II 1t was
your duty to be doing something for her
amusement every minute. I've had wo-
men like that in the house until felt
haunted by their presence"
If hoStesses do not now allow their own
pleasures to be interrupted by the pres
ence of guests, the visitors have their
own oDportunitv to amuse themselves.
About New York the visitors at the big
country houses are nearly all acquainted.
A hostess need only say that she wants
some of her party invited to one house
and some to another when she has her
own engagements The guests are GER
tain to find themselves among friends.
Sunday or other week days on which
there are enough men to make sports
count, the days programme is always
comprehensive enough to please any
taste.
Use of Telephone.
Telephones are another issue in country
houses which have not long existed. They
have raised the question which never
troubled the Victorian hostess
II do think it is carrying the thing a
to Chicago twice in three days" said
Westchester hostess who had been
through this experience Just to find out
how her husband had enjoyed himself at
the horse show. 1t used to be etiquette
to make at least some sort of a protest,
but that is now all matter of the past
| | know of one house in which the host
| has put up by the telephone a notice that
| II cannot be used for long distance calls
| by any but the family. That was done
especially to hold in check a woman who
had a mania for calling up persons at
remote points of the map. II she was
playing bridge and happened to be dunn
my, she could not keep her seat, but
must run up to telephone somebody a
long distance off.
"She became the laughing stock OF the
county. and rather an expensive one.
Tipping the servants has also come to
be a recent issue in some country houses
A hostess on the Hudson has In every
room a sign requesting that the guests
shall give the servants no tips. | happen
to know. however, that most persons who
go there do pay them for the extra SER
vice they may render. Servantse fees
are nothing like they are usually de-
scribed. One hears the sums paid to
them by visitors, which are not true in
one case out Of ten. In England one has
much more to pay. Here, the man who
goes to stop in the country. say from
Friday until Monday, has to pay only the
man who looks after his room and his
clothes. The average tip for such service