davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03
Anything but a Joke.

''Thesc alleged jokes about the sum-
mer girl who gets engaged just for
fun" remarked the sad-eyed passen-
ger as he let a comic weekly fall to
the floor of the car. make me real
weary"
whats the answer:'' queried the
hardware drummer, glancing up from
the pocket Bible he was perusing.
II met that kind of a girl last sum-
mer," explained the sad-eyed party,
"and thinking the joke compilers knew
their business l soon got engaged to
her.
"Well?" said the h. d. as the other
paused to light his pipe
But instead OF acting according to
the dope sheet" continued he Of the
sad optics, "she jumped the hurdle
and married me about the time the
leaves began to turn. Chicago Daily
News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03
Grasshoppers in . Glacier.

One of the small glaciers in Mon
tana is of special interest on account
of the fact that in the mass of ice
there are inbedded two strata of grass
hoppers. each about foot thick. There
ar eliterally tons Of grasshoppers in
the ice, and the question naturally
arises as to where they came from.
The most obvious explanation is that
centuries ago two enormous swarms
in course of migration were caught in
a snow storm, chilled and buried IN
the snow, where they have remained
till now in a perfect state of preserva-
ton. In the accounts of the early
western explorers a few instances are
related Of meeting large swarms of
locusts on the mountain tops of the
Rockies.
1t is a very fortunate circumstance
that the great extension of agriculture
III the west has broken up the breed
ing grounds of these insects.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03
He Came from California.

There's a story that the late Her
mann Oelrichs used to tell with great
gusto:
A long whiskered California grape
rancher wandered down to Frisco one
day and put up at the Pacific hotel,
lust to show the city folks that he
had money, b'gosh, and knew how 70
spend it. Recounting his adventures
in the metropolis of the Pacific slope,
the rancher thus explained to Mr.. Gel
richs how he evaded the snares Of a
willy and wicked hotel clerk.
sWhen the Teller showed a big book
under my nose and asked me to sign
nv name l was too slick for him." he
chuckled. Il knowed too much
to be caught in any new tangled sign
yer name gold brick trap; so l jest
pushed away the book and told him |
wouldn't sign my name to nothin'. And
the hotel Teller laughed like all hell.
He seen | ketched him.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03
The Motor Eye.

TO the academy neck, the bridge
brain and the cycle arm. must lie
added tie motor eye, and the wonder
is that it has remained unnamed and
undiscovered till Marmaduke has, this
week, introduced it in the Graphic,
where it is written that:
THE motor eye is the latest develop
mcnt that the medical profession has
to deal with. 1t appears that those
who are continually rushing through
tue country on Il motor car cause the
eye to take too rapid impression Of
TIE things it encounters, and that this
affects the mechanism of tAe eye. NJ
ture did not prepare us for the condi-
tons of modern times, and while it is
adapting itself to them many unfore-
seen circumstances must occur
But nature has at all events, been
good to us in this respect, that when
ever there is need for the coinage of a
new term the talent is always at hand
to supply it, and when it is the name
Of a new malady, then this talent rises
to positive genius, with the result
that the nations vocabulary increases
by leaps and bounds.-Westmin
Gazette.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03

order names are supplied? Do you
not know there is regular traffic
in such names That list Of 'Sus-
are prepared not only
from the names of those who place
mail orders, but those who merely
answer advertisements?
Country publishers who are cir
culating these supplements are the
sleeping prey of voracious blood
suckers who are fast filing their
hides at the expense of the enact
ated but slow-to- catch on editors.
Whatever hurts the home merchant,
Injuries the home newspaper and
the home community. This has
been said so often it has become re-
cognized as a fundamental, IN argu-
ment against mail order practices
but too little heed IS paid to It's vital
Importance.
1t is time for all honest publish
ers to awaken to the fact that there
is something rotten in this free
gift supplement. Get after that
rotton spot and trim it out with a
pruning knife that cuts clean and
deep. Take the truth to your
merchant, put the entire matter
before him, let him see that your
interests are the same. Invite the
interest of the entire community.
Preach death to the mail order
house, the catalogue house and
every other foreign influence that
is continuously sapping the life
blood Of your community. Stir UP
sentiment against the parcels
Post Bill" Get your influential
people to write the politicians, in
and out of Office, to knife the bill.
Let the politicians understand you
will fight them if they persist IN be-
ing friendly to legislation so in
imicable to home interests. There
is no time to twaddle or to handy
words. Get out your Ratchet and
strike the war path. You might
better fight now while you have a
chance to win than later when the
odds are all against you. Start
fighting to-day.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03
Woman's Club Meeting.

The first regular meeting Of the
Woman's club for this season will
be held at the home of Mrs. VIM.
Ziegler; a timely aud interesting
program will be presented, the topic
for discussion being Cuba"
Roll-call will be responded to by
narrating a current event. Sketch
of the political situation in Cuba to
date Mrs. Hudson, Life of the
Cuban people, Mrs. Austin, a maya
zine article concerning Cuba, will
be read by some member of the
club; piano solo will be rendered
by Miss Josephine Hudson, and if
there is time, the round table, so
popular last year will receive atten-
ton.
Members are expected to bring
sewing if they desire.
Notices of further meetings and a
sketch of some of the outside work
of the Club, will appear in these
columns later.
FANNIE b. KNAPP, Pres.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03
Why He Advertised.

A small merchant in a neighbor-
ing town asked a more successful
merchant why he threw his money
away in newspaper advertising
The successful merchant replied,
Il advertise in the newspapers
because l am not ashamed of my
goods or work. Because l cater to
the intelligent class and they read
the newspapers, and | believe in
increasing my business. Because l
talk to more people IN the news
papers, greater distance in less
time and at more reasonable price
than in any other way. Because
newspaper advertising has brought
me greater returns for least expendi-
ture of any advertising ] have done
l then know it is seen and read by
every one IN the house where the
paper goes.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03

Mrs. Mary Augusta Greer of
Bloomington entertained the Mys-
FERROUS club on Thursday last. The
club consists of twelve members
and all were present but Mrs.
Clarissa Melvina rockingham and
Abigail Jane CrOnin Of this city.
The usual good time was enjoyed.
The balance is one of the mysteries
and we canpot chronicle anything
more about the occasion which oc-
ours annually.
The Royal Neighbors arranged
and successfully carried out a
pleasant surprise on their oracle,
Mrs. Amelia Lisherness, Friday
evening. Members to the number
Of about 40 were present. 1t was
one of these covered dish parties
and when the Neighbors have any
thing Of a social nature it is useless
to state that it was a most enjoy
able occasion. The tables were
neatly decorated and every thing
was carried out according to plans.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03
Did Not Intend to Hurt Joe.

Joseph Chamberlain was once de-
livering a rousing speech in Birming-
ham to an audience so tightly packed
together that no one could possibly
get in or out. Suddenly in the middle
of the hall arose a ScoWling man.
"What did Mr.. Gladstone say in 1S72?'
he howled. "1'urn him outr' shouted
the audience. Three men hurled the
interrupter q few yards, and others
hustled him into the street. A friend
who had been at the meeting came
upon him later in the day. What did
Mr.. Gladstone say in 1922" asked the
friend. 81 don't know" said the man.
ST haven't a notion. Only I'd got a
terrible toothache and couldn't butt
my way through the crowd, so the
only way was to get thrown out"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03

John r. Decker, publisher of
the Columbus Republican at Column
bus, Wis, has been IN the city
visiting his Son-in-law, the Rev.
Paul Brown, pastor of the Baptist
church, for a few days. Mr..
Decker is well up in years, but
still retains the buoyancy of youth,
and while meandering about gave
this Office a pleasant call.
"A Danish paper compares 81
love you" in many languages. Here
are some of them-the Danish paper
is our authority for their correct
ness: The Chinaman says, "Uo ngal
nj; the Armenian, ICE SIREN ez
neb;,, the Arabian, very shortly,
'Nehabeeck;" the Egyptian, similar,
'N'achkeb;" the Turk, "Sisi seve-
iorum," and the HindoO, Main tym
pijar karyn." But overwhelming is
the declaration of love of an
Eskimo, who tries to win the chosen
one by the pleasant sound of the
dainty little word, "Univifidssaern-
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03

Cuba is unfortunate in it's citizen
ship. It's people have suffered so
long under the oppression of heart
less rule that they have become
naturally warlike. They are quick
to rebel against any discipline and
the idea of a republic in which
every man cannot have his own
way is not their dream of what a
republic should be. Their natural
instinct in disappointment is to
resort to arms, and their apprecia-
ton of loyalty TO government has
not been educated.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03
REPUBLICAN TICKET.

ktOT Governor
James U. Davidson. Soldiers Grove.
Lieutenant Governor
William y. COnuOr, MarShield
Secretary of State
James 4. Erear. Hudson.
state Treasurer
Andrew II. Dahl, Westby.
Attorney General
Frank l.. Gilbert Madison.
Com missioner of Insurance
George L. BeedIe. Embarras.
Congressman
J. w. BabCOck. Necedah.
Assem- blymen-
First District
ed. NcGregor, Plattevilie.
second District
q. E ROethe, Fennimore.
COUNTY TICKET.
Sheriff
Albert Budworth Lancaster.
CO1E Clerk
Chase. Tutf1ey, Marion.
treasurer
Cares WenZel. Lancaster.
Register of Deeds
ThoS. Metcaif. Glen Haven.
District Attorney
2. ". KOpD, Plattevills.
CLERK St..EE~-5ourt-
SEQ. E. Budd. Lancaster.
County Surveyor
a. ". Appleby, Boscobel.
Coroner
Ell. Criffs Little Grant.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03

The United States consumed 100,
100000 more gallons of beer last
year than in the year before, which
seems to indicate that the million
or so new emigrants, upon landing,
rushed to the nearest bar and lined
up with the other patriots there.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03

This denatured alcohol we read
so much about seems to be a de-
horned article or like lemonade
with the stick lift out. AS a drink
ing article there will be no demand
but it is expected to supplant
gasoline, kerosene and also prove a
cheap power producer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03

The mayor of Akron, Ohio, ad-
vlses the mothers of girls who f1irt
to spank them Unfortunately, how
ever, the mothers of such girls are
generally too busy washing the
dishes or doing other kinds of house
work to notice what their daughters
are up to.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03

1t is said that there is more ciga-
rette smoking among students than
any other class of young men. If
this is true it will clean them out
faster than football and fireworks.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03
DEATH TO HOME MERCHANTS.

in the process of social and bust
Dess evolution the country mer-
chant and the country publisher,
whose interests are one, have met
a giant dragon that is proving too
much for their prowess- creature
whose ambition, like that of the
blood sucker, is to glut itself to
bursting at the expense of the un-
Eortunates on whom it fastens its
rapacious appetite. The dragon is
the modern mail order house, and
a more sanguinary foe never at
tackled a sleeping prey
From the country merchants last
year these gigantic blood-sucking
concerns drained over two million
dollars worth of business, business
that should have been the reserve
like blood of the rural merchants of
this great country. From one Iowa
county alone during that period the
mail order houses took in cash 5000, :
OCO.
Think what this would have done
for the uplifting of that country and
the progress of the towns and ham
lets therein
Think, on the other hand, what
It did through the current to which
1T was diverted! 1t assited one of
the biggest of these great vital
sapping institutions in organizing
forty million dollar corporation
with which to further fight and sap
che country merchants business
vitality
This corporation has shipping
branches located throughout the
manufacturing districts of the coun-
try. 1t has cooperative share
holders IN every community. It's
aim is to create a customer every
time it creates shareholder. This
colossal institution annually draws
its millions that belong by right to
the country merchant. These
houses, not content with the pro-
fits they have already acquired and
which run into the hundreds of
millions, now seek to extend their
pernicious system into every house
hold.
This gigantic combination is try
ing to force through congress the
parcels post bill, bill drawn in the
interests of catalogue and mail order
houses, and which means that these
houses may send merchandise by
mail direct to country customers
at carrying rates no greater for
three thousand miles than three
miles, this means death to the
country retail merchant every
where, but more especially those
far from supplying points. To
further their ends a campaign of
advertising has been started IN
which country newspaper men are
cutting their own threats. Speak
ing of this phase of the subject, the
Home Trade League says:
''There has been started 'Pictori-
81 Colored Magazine Section which
is printed in the east by the millions
and supplied tree of cost to all
country publishers, who will agree
20 circulate them as supplement
20 or a feature of their paper. Wheth
er the mail order houses are back
OF this scheme or not we can't say
but we do know and you can see for
yourself, that this magazine sec
ton contains from four to six
columns of mail order advertisements.
DO YOU know that these speciality
advertisers constitute the unfailing
source from which millions of mail
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03

If Spooler and LaFollette both
take the stump for Davidson there
ought to be harmony all along the
line.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-10-03

The proofreader looks only for
errors. In judging your neighbors
don't be like the proofreader.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19
SAUER KRAUT in barrels, just re
ceived, at F. d. CARTER & cos.

Rev. Isaac d. Borders, field work
er for the Observation-Disclosures
Sunday School Association, has been
secured for Aberdeen next Sunday.
The people, especially those inter
ested in Sunday schools, are to be
congratulated. The services will be
held at the Methodist church, as
follows:
10 a.m.-Talk to Sunday School.
IL am. preaching.
Bpm. Meeting of Sunday School
workers.
ZOO .m.---Address on Sunday
School methods.
Let all come and take part. sun
day school teachers will regret 1t i
they fail to hear this distinguished
man.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

Mr.. G. G. Ray and Miss Florence
&c. McCandlass were married at the
residence of the brides parents, last
evening at 8 O'Clock, Rev. J. Z.
Cunningham performing the cere'
mony. Numerous friends were pres
ent to witness the happy event and
to voice congratulations and express
good wishes for the happiness of the
deservedly popular young couple.
The Weekly joins them and trusts
that the future may be as roseatt
and free of clouds in their lives as
the occasion of yesterday.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19
SOCIETY NOTES.

Mrs. Charlie Scott of Rosedale,
is the guest Of her daughter, Mrs.
Octave Sykes.
Misses Claude McQuiston, May
Carlisle, Anne Mcfarland and Ger
trude Wicks are planning a most
enjoyable trip to Memphis to see
Humpty Dumpty."
Miss Allen of Shreveport, La. =,
Is the attractive guest of Miss Annie
Lowe Jonas.
MIR. and Mrs. Ben Gillespie
have returned from a pleasant trip
To New Orleans.
Mrs. Winston Houston has re-
turned from Jackson, Miss.
Miss Amalie Sykes is visiting
friends in Wesson, Miss.
The members of the Elks Aux
iliary, and their friends, enjoyed a
most pleasant afternoon at cards ON
Tuesday, at the Elks Home.
Miss Claude McQuiston enter
tanned at cards on Thursday after
noon.
Mrs. Clopton, of Oxford, is
spending several days with Mrs.
Maynard.
-Messrs. Victor Murphy and Ike
Dortch spent Friday in Oxford
the participants of most delight
full dance given by the University
boys.
Miss Susie Williamson of
Memphis spent Tuesday with Mrs.
W. G. Mcmillan, enroute to Prai-
RE, where she will be the guest of
her aunt, Mrs. Henderson.
Mr.. Guy Fergerson, of North
Carolina, was a recent visitor to our
town.
DR.. and Mrs. Wendell left Sun
day for a short visit to Chicago.
Miss Lena Johnson has return.
ed from a visit to Amory.
Miss nellie Fits returned Sat
urday from a visit to Indianola.
MIR. and Mrs. Austin Mile,
have returned to their home in
Jackson, Miss.
-Aderdeenians will feel very
keenly the loss of Mr.. and Mrs. Joe
Smith. They will make Jackson
their future home.
Miss Adrain Carter leaves We'd.
nesday afternoon for visit to Tu.
pelo.
Mrs. Lou Mitchell is very pleas.
antly domiciled for the winter, al
the home of Mrs. T. T. Deaven-
port.
Mrs. Will Lake has as an at
tractive guest, her sister. Miss Beu.
lab Lagrone, of Cleveland, Miss.
Mrs. Frank Beck is visiting
her daughter, Mrs. Will Maier.
Miss Susie Williamson will BIZ
the charming guest of Mrs. w. G.
Mcmillan next week, to be with he,
for several weeks.
Miss Elise Mcmillan is the at.
tractive guest of Mrs. 0. Redd oil
Florence, Ala, this week. and she
has been the recipient Of many 50.
cial courtesies.
Mrs. F. s. Hamilton is visiting
her sister in Georgia.
MIR. Virgil Fits has purchased
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

In conversation with a travelling
gentleman recently, the idea was
suggested that a towel factory would
be a fine industry for Aberdeen.
The cost of machinery and the pow
er necessary to move it is small.
Skilled operators are not required,
and the product is readily disposed
of at q margin. We understand
that $35, 600 would put up one that
would employ 200 people.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

The Rev. Harry l.. Martin, of
Newburn, Tenn. will preach at the
Baptist church Sunday, January p
at III am. and 7 pm. The church
members specially requested to be
present, the public cordially invited.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19
Red Men Give a Spread.

The Independent Order of Red
Men gave a Spread at the Hotel
Aberdeen, on Thursday evening.
The occasion was for the enjoyment
of the members of the Lodge, their
families, and invited guests. 1t is
reported to have been an enjoyable
feast.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19
FOR RENT-Farming land within

FOR RENT-Farming land within
one-and-a-half miles Of Aberdeen.
Will rent the entire place of 16O acres
in cultivation, or in blocks of Is acres
and upwards. The land is under good
fence, in good state of cultivation and
productive. Bored well of water, good
opportunity for those who desire to
live in town and make crop. Apply
to T. T. DAVENPORT,
At Aberdeen Weekly ONCE
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

the WEIGH place, on South Meridian.
and will move in sometime this
month.
Mrs. Madge Haughton and
Miss Madee Haughton are pleasant
visitors this week.
The following from the San
dersville, (Ga.j Herald will be read
with interest by the friends of Mrs.
Jonn Gibson, nee Miss Susie Wat
kins: !.
"One Of the most unique and
brilliant receptions ever rendered in
this city was given last Friday eve
ming, at the residence of Mr.. and
Mrs. F. F. Stacer, on n. Harris ST.,
in behalf of the city officials. Prof.
and Mrs. John Gibson were guests
of honor while admiring friends
proffered congratulations in profu-
sion.
In an appropriate speech, Judge
J. E. Hymen, on behalf Of the city
officials, presented Prof. Gibson
with an elegant bookcase as an evil
dence Of their appreciation of his
splendid career as an educator OF
the youth of our city and section.
Prof. Gibson in a graceful speech of
acceptance paid high tribute to the
class Of citizenry Of this city. Then
as upon the evening air, Sanders
ville's silver cOrnet band discoursed
that which hath charms-freed from
formality, an unusually pleasant
occasion was spent.
A superb course of refreshments
prepared by Nunnally was served
With all, the reception, was a most
elaborate and highly enjoyable one. "
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

The soothing and comforting effects
of DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve, when
applied to piles. Sores cuts, boils, etc. !.
subdues pain almost Instantly. This
Salve draws out the Inflammation, re-
duces swelling and acts - = rubefa-
cient, thus circulating the blood
through the diseased p1rts, permit
ting or aiding Nature to permanently
remove the trouble entirely. Said by
]. A. Gay.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

Mr.. j. A. Nisley has just return
ed from a three weeks visit to his
mother, sisters and brothers, at
Harrisburg, Pa. He reports every
thing prosperous in that section.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

Mr.. Winthrop Moses has an at
tractive talk in this paper to those
contemplating the purchase of car
pets and house furnishings. See
his announcement
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

NOTICE.-When you need your
shoes repaired, dno't forget ELMORE
on Meridian Street, Sam Blevins house.
He has served us for quite a while
and stays when all others go. Help
him to stay by giving him share Of
your trade. Oct. 20-tf.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

The Payne-McMillan Hardware
Company are advertising attractive,
indispensable household articles ev-
cry week. Watch their space in
this paper.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19
DISSOLUTION NOTICE.

The firm of Wendell & Hamilton,
Physicians and Surgeons, is this day
dissolved. All parties indebted to
the firm will call at the bank of Alb
erdeen and settle their accounts.
DR.. Wendell will retain the old Of
fice, and DR. Hamilton will occupy
ofices over Maier's jewelry store
r. p. wendell,
G.. p, HAMILTON.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

The Lam Il Carter Hardware
Company offer attractive bargains
in carpets and rugs. Read what
they say on first page.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

J. B. Elixson, of the New York
Racket Store, is still offering unpar-
alleled bargains to the public. Read
what he saws.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

Prof. Campbell of Tupelo visited
his friends, Mr.. and Mrs. j. NJ.
Brown, this week.
The Aberdeen weekly. [volume] (Aberdeen, Miss.) 1878-1933, 1906-01-19

The overstocked forced sale al
Lasky's Fire Store was largely pat
ronized and many excellent bar
gains secured.