davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
Some London Clubs.

London has many curious clubs, such
as the Utopians. whose motto Is Serve
God and be merry" and the Froth
Blowers. whose members are said 10
be bound TO curse and swear every
time they enter the club. There are
also many unregistered clubs which
have no headquarters and take out 10
licenses. and there are also many clubs
whose members are manifestly drawn
together by some common bond Of SYM
pathy. Among these the London Daily
Express enumerates the following:
The Boz club admirers Of Charles
Dickens).
The 90 club (amicability and the arts.
The Royalists (guillotines and dia-
monds).
The Castaways' club (resIgned naval
officers.
The Lost Legion (for empire pio-
neers).
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
The Haid Head,

A bald head IS less familiar land
nowadays less true representative OF
the Interchangeable than the Ethioplan's
skin Of the leOparG's spots, but 1t was
cited In this character with impressive
pathos 10y Hipparclus. one OF the sew.
ell martyrs of SamOsata. After they
had been subjected 10 severe tortures
they were ut last confronted with sew
ell crosses. and the Emperor Maximian
offered them last chance to recant.
But the AGED Hipparchus put his hand
on his bald head and cried "As this.
according TO the order Of nature, can
not again be covered with hair, 50
never will change or conform TO your
wish" MaXim.dn ordered a goats
skin to be nailed TO IIIpparchus' head
and then jeerinSly claimed that the
condition was fulfilled But Uippar-
chus remained obdurate and speedily
died on the crosS.-LOndOn Chronicle.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
PoyO-d the Limit

II don't mind folks borrowing" said
Miss Hodges plaintively TO an old
friend who was paying her a visit,
"bUt I've got an awful trying woman
for neishSor just now She borrows
such queer things I'm most out OF pa
tienCe with her.
Shears and broOms and the flour
sitter and ironing board, s'pose," said
the guest, who had known life In q
country town.
Mercy me, l don't count such
things" said Miss Hodges. Nor my
best umbrella nor my carving knife. l
can make shift TO get on without them
for awhile any time. But when she
come over to borrow my diary the 9TH
er day SOS she could keep account OF
the weather and her hens eggs and so
on till her husband came back from
California. she having given him hers
10 put down his expenses and sights
in. SOS she could copy her record in
from ny book in the right place. de-
clare. | called it the en- sheafr-
Youths Cor,0o~i0~
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
lie Was AbsentminGcd.

The absentminded man IS at 1t again.
He had been reading the egg story and
decided 10 try the trick. The first thing
10 do was To boil the egg. How many
minutes? he asked himself. and. going
10 the stove with the egg in one hand
and his watch In the other, he dropped
the latter III the hot water. Then
placing the egg Oh the table, lie sat
down TO read until the time was up.
~ the end Of five or SIX minutes h
was surprised TO find the egg lynn
there before him. but, suppOslng tndt
he had himself taken ii from The kettle
and cooled II. he proceeded 10 crack
and peel it, The consequence may be
imagined Finally he missed his watch.
The house was searched high ana low,
and ii was not till the following morn
ing that the cook found ii In the kettle,
where Ii had been boiling for hours
Exchange.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
The Word NIariffv ~

The word tariff has an interesting
origin. 1t is derived from the Arabic
Ia 'rifa, meaning an inventory Of fees
payable Oh demand, and became cur
rent in the following way: \ certain
Moorish general. by name Tarifa,
seized in the year 40 upon a small
seaport some twenty miles from what
is now Gibraltar and the southernmost
town In Europe Here he founded a
station for ievying toll on all craft
trading in the neighbOrhood and be-
slowed his name upon the place, after
the manner Of Constantine. Alexander
and others The word came eventual
ly to signify n schedule of charges and
passed into the French, Italian and
English.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
Why Fruits Turn Rcd.

Fruits turn red when they rlpen be
cause Of q wise provision Of Mother
Nature. 1t makes the fruit consplcu
Gus to birds and other animals. and
thus secures the dispersion Of the seed
II the fruit were of the same color as
the leaves 1t might easily be passed
over. When the fruit or seed Is incon-
spicuous. through either the want OF
color or the small size, dispersal Is eff
fected without the aid Of animals, as
In the case Of the dandellon, whose
seed Is carried about by the wind, or OF
the balsam, the seed OF which Is eject
ed by a sort OF spring. The colOred
fruits, such as the grape and the cher
ry, are furnished with succulent coats,
which provide food to birds, who in
their lmpatience often swallow the
seeds or stones, which may pass
through the animals body without
change. Seeds may thus be conveyed
not only for considerable distances on
land. but also from continents to ocean
lc islands, which may In this way &c.
qulre q new vegetation.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
Old Parliamentary Fines.

1t Is costly to be a member Of the
British parliament, but some ancient
expenses are spared the modern men,
Der. An order dated 1910 runs thus,
Those who go out Of the house In a
confused manner TO forfeit 10 sh!!-
lings." Others enact that "all the mem-
bers that come after Ghe house met
at o'clock In the morning them to pay
shilling, and those who do not come
the whole day to pay shlllings, those
who do not come to prayers to pay
shilling. such members as come after
0 o'clock to pay shilling to the poor"
etc. Still more expensive was 1t for
members to go out Of town without
permission. In 1864 n penalty OF fl0
was imposed upon every knight and of
f5 upon every citizen who should make
default In attending the house, and
penalty Of $40 upon every member "as
shall desert the service OF the house for
the space Of three days together not
having had leave granted him by the
house,, and he shall be sent for In Gus
tody and committed to the Tower"
Week enders had bad time in 1864.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
A Problem In SVlEGrdry.

We want TO know why persons who
believe in wizards, or, at all events,
consult wizards, nearly always prefer
to believe in men or women who are
Of race inferior 10 their own Or In
circumstances which prove that their
occult powers are of no use 10 them
selves. The rule Is not invarlable, for
there have been great wizards like
Paracelsus. Roger Bacon. Michael Scott
and CagliOStro, who were acknowl-
edged by those who consulted or fear
ed them TO be In all ways their SUI
periors, but II IS seldom broken. In all
The letters on country superstitions
which we have published the wise"
man or woman has always gypsy blood
or some peculiarity Of appearance
marking out him or her unfavorably
from their kind. The wizard of india
is usually naked savage, while those
who resort 10 him are civilized beings
clothed carefully in muslin. The rever-
ence of the whites for the black Obeah
man or woman I'm the West Indies is
the subject Of countless narratives, espe-
clally In the French islands.-London
SDectatOr
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
Mexico's Fms,

In Mexico fans were used long be
fore the conquest, and when Monte
yuma heard that the Spaniards had
landed and were about to visit him h.
sent for goldsmiths and lapldarles and
ordered. among other gifts which were
to be offered TO CorteS, two feather
fans Ornamented with a sun and moon
Of highly polished gold. Like the Japa-
nese and other ancient nations, the
Aztecs evidently .ls.dered the fan an
emblem Of authority, for they general
ly placed 1t In the hands of Ometeuctl!.
god Of paradise, and Of Totec, the mill
tary disciple Of QuetzalcOhuatl.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
Mixed Wives.

In the early part of the last century
there lived In an old New England
town 4 Mr.. Church. who in the course
of his earthly life was bereft Of four
wives. all Of whom were buried In the
same lot In his old age Ii became
necessary 10 remove the remains TO a
new cemetery. This he undertook him
self but in the process the bones be-
came hopeesSly mixed. His New
England conscience" would not allow
him under the painful circumstances
to use the original headStones, so he
procured new ones. one Of which bore
the following inscription:
Here lies Hannah Church and prob
ably portion of Emily"
Another:
Sacred to the memory Of Emily
Church. who seems TO be mixed with
Matilda"
Then followed these lines:
Stranger. pause and drop tear,
For Emily Church lies buried here.
Mixed .n some rcrpleXing manner
With Mary, Matilda and probably Han
nah.
-Barpcr's Weekly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
For nInck Eyes.

1t Is often the case that people meet
with accidents and bruises that cause
disfguring discolora tions, from which
they suffer not little embarrassment
and annoyance 1t Is worth while TO
know that there IS simple remedy
and one quite within the reach OF
every one. Immediately after the acci-
dent mix an equal quantity Of cap
sicum annum with mucilage made Of
gum arabic. To this add a few drops
of glycerin. The bruised surface should
be carefully cleansed and dried, then
painted all over with the capslcum
preparation. Use camel's hair brush
and allow it to dry, then put on the
second or third coat as soon as the
first is entirely absorbed. \ medical
Journal IS authority for the statement
that If this course Is pursued immedi
ately after the injury dlscoloration Of
the bruised tissue Will be wholly pre-
vented. 1t is also said that this RENE
dy is unequaled as cure for rheuma-
tism or stiffness Of the neck.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
The President For n Day story.

The story that David Il. Atchison OF
Missouri was president for day start
ed as joke. Atchison was president
Of the senate at the expiration OF Pres
ident Polk's term, and the law at that
time provided that that official should
succeed 10 the presidency in default OF
both president and vice president.
March 4, 1S49, was Sunday. and Pres
ident Zachary Taylor did not take the
oath of Office until Monday, March ..
Somebody thereupon started the joke
that neither Polk nor Taylor was pres
ident during the odd day and that
AtchisOn must have been. But If Tay-
lor could not under the constitution be
president until he had taken the oath
OF Office how could AtchisOn? He did
not take the oath ether.-St Louis
Republic
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
The Ways of Madeira.

The people OF Madeira are as harm
less as their country. The stranger
meets with no snakes and need not
fear mosquitoes; neither has he TO
take any precautions against being
molested In the most out Of the way
parts. Everywhere clvllity, politeness
and pleasant faces will greet him.
The prices asked are grotesque, often
FIVE times what will be finally accept
cd. Some find the absence Of fixed
prices abroad q great nuisance. but
the bargaining in Madeira Is so good
humored and can be made so amusing
that the change Of custom in this re-
spect Is rather refreshing
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30

A quaint AID kindly legend. illuStrat-
.nS the sClTO t9"t CL Stians useI
10 feel ror tie pa: ism Of their &
y0r.te cia,5.c authors. IS that Of S.
C.aoc AID lis Y. I'll. ST. Ctdoc, who's
day IS Jan. -. was the $. of a Sou;a
N'c Il rriuce. Who f., 4 sever.
m34a .ar.cS in G.ama~ hire an
I, .ElI .-i- regions. hut vas drive.
away L. IL. lay by the cm.ug 0f I'll
S4xons. T.ere he was vaal.ug or.
day with a copy OF N.r7is poels T.
bis hand and wcQt % th.-k thar VIZ
gil as a H.ran might be in HE'LL A.
ultra cr,ho.ox friend w.) was with
him screr-.y rrprovcd Ian for even
Golbt.Hg The fat. and q sudden gust
OF wine carried the book out Of Ca
docs hand into the sea. But that
night lie heard in 4 dream a sweet
voice saying: Pray for me-; weary not
IN praying. W. s.4S tie mcrc.os OF
the Lord forever" And next day a
fisherman brought CIdoc fish inside
which the Virgil was foGnd uninjured.
London Chronicle.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30

AS the horses trot down to the wire
In q long, struggling line q race official
bangs a bell and the whole field turns
and goes back to try again. 4 fresh
start Is necessary. But 1t Is not only
on the race tracks that fresh starts are
essential to the achievement of results.
There are countless instances OF busi-
ness firms taking fresh starts after
visitations Of misfortune. individuals
without number daily turn their backs
upon discouragements Of the past and
take fresh start The man who fails
Is be who Is unwilling to do battle
over again. An individual suffers ever
lasting failure II, when confronted by
obstacles, he refuses to grid up his
lOins and take a fresh start. Fresh
starts are the foes Of sluggishness and
laZlness and the guarantee of q brlgh-
ter success than could be possible
without them.-Baltimore Herald.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
weird story Of u Chair.

In the museum ut Cape Town Is
shown an O!d fashioned, high backed
wooden chair. TO which attaches q
weird story. 1t is related that the chair
is the one in which the Dutch Governo!
was found sitting dead a few mo
ments after the execution OF soldier
whom he had sentenced TO be hanged
and who Oh lis doom being pronounced
solemnly called upon his condemner tc
accompany hin to the throne OF the
Supreme Judge.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
Buried by TorchIfghf.

Allerton Hall was upward OF four
centuries the property and residence OF
the Kltchingman family. 1t was the
largest and most ancient mansion In
Chapeltown. consisting of about sixty
rooms, with gardens and pleasure
grounds. The Kltchingman family for
upward Of 400 years were carried from
this hall by torchlight to be inferred in
the choir of St Peters church in Leeds.
At the interment Of any of the family
the great chandelier, consisting Of thir-
,y-six branches. was always lighted.
In the year 1116 Robert Kitchlngman
died May I. aged 100 years. He or
:lered bis body to be buried with torch
lights at Chapel Allerton. He was in
tered on May Ii, when 100 torches
were carried. The room where the
body was laid was hung with black,
and velvet pail, with escutcheons,
was born by the chief gentry. The
pallbearers had all scarf. biscuits and
sack; the whole company had gloves.
Fifty pounds were given among the
poor in the chapel yard on the day Of
his interment. Mary, his wife, died
July %, 1716, aged ninety-seven years.
She was inferred precisely in the same
Of Yorkshire"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
Her Method OF Darning.

"The worst case of henpecked man
| ever saw" said the travelling man,
as up In my little native place among
the Berkshire hills. The hen In this
case Is n smart woman who runs n
farm and keeps everything shipshapc
except her husband. She is content to
let him get along In any old fashion,
so long as he does not interfere with
her work. One day he asked her apol-
ogetically If she wouldn't darn at least
one pair of his stockings, for every
pair be owned had holes.
"She gave him a crushing glance and
said, If every pair has holes, wear two
pairs, and the good places In one will
cover the holes in the other. And she
made him do 1t too."-New York Press
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
Solid Emery Wheels.

In the production sf solid emery
wheels the best cement that can bj
employed is one that binds the emery
together with that degree Of strength
which will resist the centrifugal strair
due 10 the high speed at which emery
wheels cut best-abOut 5000 feet speed
per minute. II must not soften by
frictional heat or glaze or burst or be
come brittle and break with cold, nol
must II hold the cutting grains Until
they are too dull to cut nor release
them so readily as 10 waste away the
wheel too fast. II must be capable OF
being thoroughly mixed evenly with
the grain emery. so that the wheel may
not have either hard or soft spots and
be ont OF balance. ani must also be
capable Of being tempered 10 suit diff
ferent kinds of metal or work Great
care and skill are required In the mat
ter Of selecting only pure and strong
chemicals 70: these cements.-Cassler's
Magazine.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
You will hasten recovery by TAX
Ing one Of Ayers Pills at bedtime.

They have whistle language on Go
mera island. in tie Canary archipelago
They can whistle there as articulutc!y
as a Bostonian speaks. And, since they
can whistle very loud end shri.l. The
GOmeras can converse a long way Off
a Gomera hunting q mile from home
can ask his wife what there Is for
lunch, and, if the menu does not please
him, he can scold her and order q
change quite as we'll as though he
stood beside her.
The GOmeras talk In a sinSsong. and
their whistle language reproduces the
spoken ones intonations. For instance,
children all over America have a taunt-
Ing cry:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30

The antelope lives always In open
country, unlike members Of the deer
family. which invariably prefer a
thick. dense forest. They cannot be
driven into timber cover or thlckets
OF brush but will literally turn about
and run over a pursuer. II necessary,
rather than be forced into cover. II
they are ever obliged to pass by or
through such places for food and wa
ter. they take q great deal Of time to
do so, as IL they were determined to
see everything that could b seen On
spusa.-H H. Gross n Oentny.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
A Picturesque Wedding.

An interesting wedding recently took
place in England. The bridegroom was
q fireman. and accordingly the mem
bers Of the local fire brigade attended
the wedding. They formed up outside
the church and made an arch with
their axes, under which the bride and
bridegroom walked. Then the firemen
drew the happy couple home in car
riage. blowing their whistles as they
went through the streets.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
Whales.

Whales, though they are mammals
are fitted to live like fishes In water
The true whales are OF two kinds OF
famIies-the spermacet whale. which
has teeth In the lower jaw. and the
whalebone whale, which has none. OF
the first named there are two species,
the cachalot and the sperm, which
when full grown measures from seven
ty to eighty feet. The capture OF ills
animal Is attended with greater dan
ger than That Of the whalebone or
Greenland whale on account Of its for
midable teeth
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30

A young lady. who had no knowledge
Of nautical phrases, asked a friend
"DO you know, l often wonder WHY
4 ship has to weigh its anchor every
time 1t leaves porte" The answer o.
her friend was not illuminat!ng-"WeiI
-er-the weight Is constantly chang
Ing, you know, because OF the-er-
binnacles and things that accumulate
on the anchOr"-Lond0n News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
Reckless.

Doctor Ito wife Of patient)-Be brave
madam. 1t Is my painful duty to In
form you that in twenty-four hours
your husband will he no more.
The Wife overwhelmed with grief
but at the same time having regard tC
expense)-Good gracious! And you
Lave prescribed medicine for five days
at least.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30

The queer thing about the people
who boast Of always speaking the'
minds Is that they nearly a'ways have
such disagreeabie minds to speak. Did
you ever hear any one preface COM
pllment, commendatlon or anything
gracious or pleasant by saying. Il oil.
ways must speak my mind WON.
ais Life.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
His Only Chance.

Hostess - or course, you'll have
piece OF cake. Johnny. Johnny-Yes'm
an please gimme the biggest piece
Hostess-Why. Johnny. I'm surprised
Johnny-Well. ma told me not to ash
for second piece.-Catholic Standard
and Times.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
From the Irish.

First Citizen-I beg your pardon, sir
but | am stranger In Dublin. Can
you direct me to Grafton street? Sec
ond Ditto-With Pleasure. Sure It's
the second turn to the right. First
Ditto-Thank you, sir. (Walks off,
Second Ditto calling after him)-Hi!
IL you're q left handed man It's the
other way entirely.-London Globe.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
GlRndular Sxyellinga

Here IL a remedy for goiter and
glandular swellings: Glycerinated To-
dine lotion-iodide Of potassium, two
drams; distilled water, one pint; glyc-
erin pure), one ounce. Dissolve the
iodide In the water, then add the glyc-
erin. Apply with antiseptic gauze or
fine linen.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
German silver.

One OF the oddities of nomenclature
Is that the combination OF metal.
known as German silTer contain; 10
silver In It's composition and is Of Chi
nese and not of German origin. Ii
was introduced. into Europe by the
Germans, and for some time 1t was not
generally known that they had simply
borrowed II from the Chinese.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30

The archbishop Of Canterbury Is pri'
mate of Mi England and therefore
takes precedence Of the archbishop OF
York. who Is only "prlmate OF Eng
land" This yery nice distinction was
made several centuries ago on account
of very bitter dlsoute arising between
the two fpnctionar!cs as TO whlch
should l.-ece.e the other. The matter
was settled ly confcrrlng precedence
upon the archbishop Of Canterbury, the
two titles being also bestowed Mt the
Saiisc l.il.e- --
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
MILL FOR SALE.

A three story mill, with burr foi
grinding corn and rye and corn crush
er and bolt for buckwheat, also good
saw mill and planer, building 30x35 H.
and good shop in basement with IL
horsepower en- zine which needs some
repairs. This property is situated al
Detrick, Va, at the junction of roads
in good section for custom, and con.
venient to store, post Office, and
churches. Apply to
J. N. DAVIS Co., or to
j. w. Funk, Detrick, Va
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30

Persons who want to sell their
Farms, or Property would do we'll to
place them in our hands for sale. We
have list of customers who want to
buy property, and il the prices are
reasona bic we can make quick sales,
J. N. Davis & Co., Real Est. Agents
Woodstock. Va.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
Gave Him n start.

Holding up pair OF antique candle
sticks. an auctioneer said:
Give me a start"
a diner came a voice from the
crowd.
WHAT! exclaimed the Mortified auc-
tloneer.
"Ah," said the bidder, Il thought
that would give him startw
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
Taking No Chances.

perhaps" suggested the waiter,
"you would like Welsh rabbit"
NO" said the austere customer; Il
am q vegetarian"
"A Welsh rabbit is made Of cheese.
you know. sir"
81 know IL. AS said before, am
vegetarian" Chicago Tribune.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
I:la .Iubilce.

Judge-Are You aware Of any miti-
eating circumstances in your case?
Prisoner-Yes, your honor. This IS the
fftleth time ! have been here for va
grancy. and l thought that perhaps we
might get up n small jubilee.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1906-03-30
ytls preunrafiou.

Bill Nye once told story about a
man who, after eight hours work on A
country daily. was fired for incom-
potency and then went on q lecture
tour OF the country on the subject OF
Journalism"