Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-10-20

wasn't going To run. and didn't rum ana
the people who had sent in the tide OF gold
on George s. Davis didn't even have the
diluted. doubtful JOY OF seeing their horse
amble up to the barrier and get himself
left at the post
They got nothing at all except the bag to
hold. What did these chesty and cocky
New Workers do then? Well. they said
to each other, real peevishly, that II was
pretty hard luck. burned il it wasn't. to be
done hathaway, and not to get even a
run for their money: blamed hard luck.
they called it.
The bookmakers sat perched up on their
stools like a flock OF chicken hawks In a
tree caw-ing humorousy at "A farmer boy
unprovided with gun, and they gave the
brave New Workers the long, rumhling.
raucous laugh. and they kept all of the
Davis money; yaas'm, deed they did:
Despite our reputation for ii, Americans
don't know the first principles OF kicking.
Once at famous Chicago hotel l saw two
kicks registered one after the other. one
an American kick and the other
European kick. The American kick was
foozle and frost and a loser because the
American didn't know how to kick. The
European kick won out because the
European was a trained and scientific
kicker.
How the American Kicked.
Both the American and the European
We're paying their bills at the cashiers
desk preparatory TO leaving the hotel
Say. look here said the American with
sort of hang dog humility TO the hotel
cashier, how is it that | am charged 81
q day for that room? The clerk told mo
when L came here ten days ago that the
room would only Ice S. day
He did. hey" said the cashier, almost
as perky as the people who consent to sell
you Pullman tickets. We'll, I've got moth
ing to do with that. Don't know anything
about it. That's your bill, all right
But, say. old man." wheezed the Ameri-
can, a really fine-louhing and substantial
appearing citizen. lit doesn't seem right.
does it, that l should have one rate quoted
and then find another rate on my bin2 or
course, it only makes a difference OF a
ten-dollar bill, but still it somehow doesn't
seem the real thing
Il wish you wouldn't complain to me
about it," broke in the cashier, brusquely.
Go and the clerk
But mildly ventured the American.
the clerk is not on duty now, and I've got
to make that train, and
I've told you that I've got nothing TO
do with the rates" growled the cashier.
Your baggage hasn't gone yet, has it?''
There an implied threat in that last
remark about the baggage The cashier
couldn't have made it any more plain If he
had said 1t in so many words that the
guests baggage would be retained by the
hotel il the bill, as presented. was not
paid
abjectly said the American, and he stood
for the gouge and dug up the SO over
charge like somebody under the gun. He
hadn't got beyond the primer of kicking.
Russian Meant Business.
The next man up at the cashiers window
was a Russian grand duke. a young man
said to be worth some few hundreds Of
millions of dollars, a spender from away
back, man who on his tour of this country
was busy one armed paper-hanger
with the hives just tossing away money.
He was leaving the hotel and there was
item on his bill that shouldn't have
been there The item was. One milk punch,
80 cents.
Erase that. If you please said the
Russian grand duke in excellent English,
as he thrust the bill through the cashiers
window and pointed to the item. Milk
punch, 30 cents. 1 didn't have that. Nobody
in my suite had it. 1t is a mistake 1t
belongs on some other bill. Erase 1t, IL
you please"
The cashier fiuttered the leaves of some
kind of book he had in there.
Here 1t is on the book under your NAME"
he said TO the grand duke. pointing out the
item. Milk punch, 30 cents
Il can't help that" said the grand duke.
with some impotence. 1T wasn't served
to me nor to anybody with me. 1t is an
error. Erase it. 1 wish to pay my bill
his bill. by the way. was about s3.000-''and
/ am in some haste"
The cashier was one of the stubborn
kind. .!rs..
We'll" he muttered, irritatingy. IT
don't how it could have got-oui the
book If you didn't order it. and, of course.
I've got nothing to do with the items. ex-
cept TO-
Il don't give a hang If you've got II on
a hundred books" stormed the grand duke.
only his word wasn't hang" II didn't get
it, and I'm not going to pay for it. You
erase that item and receipt the bill. If you
don't I'll fight your hotel in your courts
for eXtortion and fraud and show the house
up. Here, Ivanovitch,' summonng his
secretary and mOney-carrier, who was
standing near. you pay this bill, minus 35
cents, a fraudulent item for a milk punch
which not served to me nor to any OF
my people. If the cashier doesn't accept
pament of the bill minus the 35 fraudulent
cents, recall the baggage. notify every
body with that remain here. / shall
stay in Chicago in that case, till the matter
is arranged
The cashier came near spelling his fa-
vorite pen, he bore down hard on it In
hastily receipting that bill, minus the 30
fraudulent cents
Americans haven't been through the
kindergarten of kicking yet.
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.