Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1906-04-30

sS14a2J main out Of reach Of the high
est tides. When Captain Fri, after
Bleaching and anchoring his dory and
stabling Daniel for the night, entered
the dining room he found his two mess
mates deep in consultation and WIth
evidences of strenuous mental struggle
written upon their faces. Captain re-
rez's right hand was smeared with INK
and there were several spatters of the
same fluid on Captain Jerry's perspir'
ing nose.
"WeI, you fellers look as if you'd
had a rough wage" commented Cap
tain Fri, slipping out Of his own jacket
and pulling his chair up beside those
of his friends. ''What's the trouble?"
Gosh, Fri I'm glad to see you!" ex-
claimed Captain Perez. How do you
spell conscientious?"
81 don't, unless it's owners orders"
was the answer. "What do you want
| to spell it forT'
| "We've writ much as 400 advertise
ments, l do believe" said Captain Jer-
ry, land there amt one of them fit to
| feed to pig. Perez here, he's got such
hifalutin notions that nothin less than
circus bill III do him. don't see why
somethin' plain and sensible, like 'Wo-
man wanted to do dishes and clean
house for three men, wouldn't be all
right; but, no, it's got to have more
fancy trimmin's than a Sunday bum
nit. FoOlishneSs, l call it,
you'd have whole lot of women
| in, hot Cd
wouldn't you?" snorted Captain Perez
holly. "'To do dishes for three men,
That's a healthy bait to catch wife
with, amt it? l can see 'em comm.
caPlate you'd stay single till Judgment
and then you wouldn't git one: No, sir
The thing to do is to be sort of soft
soapy and high toned. Let 'em think
they're goin' to git bargain wher
they git you. Make believe it's goin' t
be privilege to git sech husband"
"Weil, it's" declared the sacrifice in
dignantly. '"They might git a dun
: sight worse one
!, Il caPlate that's so, Jerry" said Cap
tain Fri "StiIl, Perez amt altogethe
wrong. Guess you'd better keep tn
: dishwashin' out Of it. | know dish
washin' would never git me. I've go
/, so hate the sight Of soap and hot we
: ter as bad as if l was Portugee. Pas
me that pen"
Captain Perez gladly relinquishe
the writing materials, and Captain Eli
after two or three trials produced tn
following:
70 70 inc
, of steady habits must be willing to wo1
D and keep house shipshape and abov
u board; no sea lawyers need apply Al
dress Skipper, care Nuptial Chime. Bo
ton, Mass.
= The line relating to sea lawyers Wa
= insisted upon by Captain Jerry THAT
shut out the tonguy kind" he e
" planned. The advertisement, with til
addition, being duly approved, the r
quired so cents was inclosed, as was
letter to the editor of the matrimoni
journal requesting all answers to
= forwarded to Captain jeremiah Blu
- CESS, Orham, Mass. Then the envelol
- was directed and the stamp affixed.
:. There" said Captain Fri. ''tha
bs done All you've got to do now, JerI
is TO pick out your wife and let
r.; know what you want for weddi
,c. present. You're lucky man.
,w law, let's talk about somethin' els,
OIL said the lucky. one rather gloomi
I'm What's the news up at the dep
Eri:"
an They received the tidings of the co
ing of Hazeltine with the interest q
els to such an event Captain Fri ga
me them detailed account of his meet
his Win the new eiectrician' oinittl
got however, IN consideration LOT tne II
ia. ings Of Captain Perez. to mention