The Washington times., 1906-03-18

advice and cOunSel OF many we'll
posted dogs, Noah admitted to
the Ark ninety-two varieties or
feas, besides those already domi-
ciled on various animals. and that
their rapid increase during the warm
moist weather is endangering the
health. as well as the comfort or
all on board Even the elephants
and the hippopotamus complain that
notwithstanding the thickness OF
their hides, certain especially V1gor-
Gus fleas are able to cause them
great uneasiness. The rhinoceros
stated that although the insects did
not bother him personally, yet the
antics of the camels in their distress
were exceedingly annoying and that
he was black and blue from Their
convulsive kicks. Pop was immense
" surprised to find how many diff
ferent fleas there are. He took the
petition to read over but refused to
state what he would do about the
matter. Shem said that few pounds
of insect powder would soon settle
the trouble. Ham declared that he
was in favor Of disposing of all fleas
for all time, but Pop thought that
was against the regulations and the
bylaws
Said Ham: I'VE want to keep the
animals good-natured and this is
the way to do it
But it will be bad precedent"
says Pop. eff we destroy one set OF
Objectionable passengers how soon
we will be called upon to extermi-
nate another The lion was kicking
yesterday because the porcupine Sc
lected his bunk to take nap in and
a porcupine in bed is as bad as a
cactus plant, you know! How long
will it be before some of them OBJ
ject TO the skunks, for instance?"
Il heard the Tapirs yesterday get
ting off joke about the Ark having
centerboard," said Shem.
Don't exactly see the connection
says Pop.
why, scent aboard, see?" says
Ham. L think it would be a good
idea to partition off the whole space
into separate staterooms and make
each pair keep in their own place.
You've no idea what labor it is 10
keep them IN order Yesterday, for
instance, we had three different
rows! The Pelican got the red
squirrels in his pouch and refused
10 let them go for two hours, the
chimpanzee put a turtle on the cab
in stove and one Of the ostriches un-
screwed two bolthead nuts and swal-
lowed them. Night before last the
big boa constructor got to walking
IN his sleep and tied himself up
among a whole lot of animalsI It
took me two hours to untangle the
mess and the alpaca was almost
gone when rescued him! The ring
tailed monkey accused the stork of
nipping pieces out Of him, and the
elephant asserts that the orangou-
tang marked him all over with green
paint while pretending to massage
the wrinkles out Of his forehead"
That's true about the orangou-
tang" said 1. 81 happened to see
thati"
why didn't you stop it?" demand
ed Pop.
why, twasn't any Of my busi-
ness" said l. That's Hams AFFAIR.""
That's just like a boy" said Pop.
TIL bet you gave the paint to the
'NIinki'"
There's something else that they
are going to ask for" said 1, to turn
the subject. 'I hear that the rod
ents want something to gnaw on to
keep their teeth down and the claw
ed animals wish you to provide ma
tePial to rub their claws on for the
same purpose.
Maybe they will want hair Oil
and towels next" snapped Pop,
They must think l am running a
sanitariumi I'll soon have to pro-
vide single rooms with a bath and
a valet for each one OF them and
send their meals to their rooms,
Maybe the rhinoceros will want his
suit pressed every morning and the
goat Will want a barber to curl his
whiskersi Perhaps the zebra won't
eat his oats unless he has bunch Of
fresh flowers on the table at every
meal, Maybe the hippopotamus
will want us to give him an airing
every morning in a rolling chair on
the main decki I'll have to furnish
silver-handled tooth brush with a
monogram on it and cold cream to
every passenger if this keeps up!"
"And some Of them want rain
checks handed out so that they can
go ashore now and then in order to
obtain little exercise before we
finally start" said l.
Pop was too astonished to repIv.
but Shem said:
well, you may answer that by
telling them that we started five
minutes since. We have been clear
OF the bottom for just that long"
Another scrap between the orang-
outang and the anteater! They have
been scowling at each other for
days. but never getting very near
TO one another until this afternoon.
when the lion told the orang that
the anteater was claiming TO be
the champion of the Ark. The
orang went up in the air and said
that he could lick the anteater with
one hand while he stood on one
foot and blindfolded. This was re-
ported to the anteater, who at
once agreed 10 fight the orang un-
der those conditions; but when they