Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1906-09-05
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49, FeN

RE asked ner TO tell me her age,
and she said "23." She-Well-dId your
Brooklyn Life.
"Why do you refer to his fortune as
hush money!" Wagg-He made 1t in
soothing syrup.-Philadelphia Record.
DO you leave your valuables in the
hotel safe when you go to summer
resort?" Only when leave."-Judge.
stella-Isn't that Mr.. Bachelor kind
and gentle? Bella-Thats just the
trouble; he stands without hitching.-
Brooklyn Life.
THAT man has very shady business
record" why, what has he been do
ing?' "He puts up awnings."-Balti-
more American.
saphedde A penny for your
thoughts, Miss Pert Miss Pert-They
are not worth it. was merely think
Ing Of you.-phlladelphia Record.
Husband (angrily)-I don't see why
l ever married you. You are fool.
Wife (calmly)-Undoubtedly. Other
wise 1 would have refused you.-Grit.
On An Ocean Liner. The Wife
Shall I have your dinner brought to
your room, dear? Husband (feebly)-
No. Just order 1t thrown overheard
Clipped.
"Out Of job, eh?" "Yeh, de boss
said he was losin' money on de things I
was makln'." Dat so? Wot was you
making" Mistakes. PHILADELPHIA
Press.
Dentist (prodding patients gum in
search Of fragment of root)-Funny.
don't seem to feel it. Patient (ironi-
cal in spite of the pain) in
luck Les Annales.
Who Is it that robs us while we are
asleep?' asked the teacher, trying to
get the class to spell the word burg
lar" DE gas meter!" shouted the boys
in unison.-Chicago News.
Asslstant-This poet says that the
last two verses of his poem may be
omitted, If you think it is desirable.
Editor-Ill do better than that. I'll
omit the whole poem.--Somerville Jour
nal.
They found cigar in safe that
had fallen down five stories in San
Francisco and wasn't the least bit dam
aged by fire." Yes, I've tried to smoke
several of those cigars. "-Cleveland
Leader.
Really, you know, don't think Miss
all lok1 nb
"Well?' well, you told me she was
always engaged In some college sport"
Stupid! l said engaged to.'"-Phila-
delphia Press.
Mistress-What made you angry with
the doctor and tell him not to come
any more? Bridget-Because he said
he thought he would send me to
warmer climate, and am on ter him.
Los Angeles News.
DO you think that wealth brings
piness?' NO. answered Mr.. Dustin
Stax. ut doesn't bring happiness. But
it gives Il man q little bit of option
about the kind of worry he will take
on. Washington Star.
PA, what's the difference between
profession and trader" THE man
who works at trade quits when his
eight hours are up. The man who fol-
lows profession has to keep on until
his work is done. Chicago Record
Herald.
Don't you like to hear the wind
whistllng through the wood?" asked
the poetical one. WELL" replied the
practical one, "if I'm out in the forest
do; but if the wood is made up into
a 50 flute, can't say that do."-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Yes" said the condescending youth,
Il am taking fencing lessons" Good"
answered Farmer Corntossel. II allus
said you was goin' to turn in an do
somethin' useful. What's your special
~ goin' to be-rail, stone or barbed
wire ?'-Washington Star.
We'll, sir" brusquely inquired the
girls father, what can do for your
'Why-er-I called, SIR" stammered
the timid sutton, ito see if-er-you
would give assent to my marriage to
your daughter" Not a cent, sir! Not
cent! day."-Scissors.
A school teacher, one day during the
hour for drawing, suggested to her pu-
pills that each draw what he or she
would like to be when grown up. At
the end of the lesson one little girl
showed an empty slate Why" said
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