davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08
4 TEAK NEW JERSEY IAW.

Often a law made hastily in response to a special demand doesn't work just as 1t was intended to, The experience with the automobile law made by the New Jersey legislature last year has not been such as to please the resi- dents of the rural districts of that State who succeeded in securing the law, which was supposed to be so care fully drawn that automobiles would be compelled to go at very slow pace all over the New Jersey roads. It was supposed the amount of fines collected from automobiles would be so large as to furnish a considerable sum of money which, under the law was to be used for repairing the roads. However, the total of fines thus far collected is about $5OO although there are 11,0Ot registered automobiles in the State. Ii was found also that there were several loopholes in the law, ana tne power given to policemen to hold up auto- mobilists whenever and wherever they chose and compel them to show their licenses and submit to more or less cross-questioning, according to the state of mind of the policeman and his appreciation of his authority, was not good law
 But the automobile will soon find its right place in New Jersey law as in
 the law of other States. It has been
 going so fast and cutting up so that il
 has been hard to get hold of 1t just right.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08
WARLTKE GERMANY.

Germany isn't going to be caught mapping. She has fine army, navy only second to that of Great Britain, and now she Is meditating a large scheme of new coast defences. The development of the naval Qualifications along the coasts of the North Sea and the Baltic is advocated iii various quar- ters. There is said to be official anx- iety for the naval port of Wilhelms- haven, which in the event of block ade of the mouth of the Elbe, would run the risk of being completely isolat- ed. The idea of constructing coastal canal to connect the Jade, Elbe and Ems has been revived. In view, how ever. of the financial and other difficult ties which the scheme presents, the for tification of the mouth of the Jade is suggested as an alternative. Thus, one of the mouth of the river, should be HdNdl IIlIAN purposes tAl'AN AAAO it7'eAAAN OL Wangeroog, which lies nearly broadside strongly fortified, The question of strengthening the defences of the Bal tic ports is regarded as being of hard ly less importance. The extent to which Kiel is vulnerable was demon,  strated recently when combined at tack by land and sea upon the forti- fled approaches to the harbor resulted in a victory for the invading fleet, which forced the channel past Fort Falkenstein and the lines at Friedrichs- ort. This incident has precipitated warm public discussion between the advocates of an aggressive naval policy on the one side and the believers in a defensive policy on the other.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08
NO MORE MoNOCLEs.

Candidates for commissions in the army will now have to face an in- creased stringency In the regulations with regard to the examination for eyeslght Since the war these have been somewhat relaxed.
 In the details issued last night for the examination of officers of the mill tia and Imperial Yeomanry for com missions in the regular forces it is ex- pressly laid down that "no relaxation of the eyesight test can ever be al- lowed, On other points 1t appears that candidates who are pronounced
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08

do not get hsh by August 20 the pros pect for a pack this year will be ex- tremely poor, It is estimated that the pack Is more than 100000 cases short of the catch to this date last year. Some of the fishermen say that so long as the dogfish stay on the coast there will be no pack of sardines or mackerel, The dog-fish eat the sardine herring. The fishermen say that. the dogfish are thicker this year than formerly. ."-Banger News
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08

unfit by the medical board will be aI- lowed to present themselves for re-ex- animation by an appeal board,
 The regulation does not apply to those who are going up for commis- sion direct.
 Should 1t be enforced to the full it probably involes the disappearance of the eyeglass as a military adjunct London Mail.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08
ADVERTISING RATES.

Situations. Wants, Rents. and other small advertisements. One Cent a Word each insertion. Five Cents Word for full week.
 Display advertisements, per inch, one insertion, $1.2o; each subsequent inser- tion, 40 cents; one week. $S'2o; one month, $1O; one year, $40.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08

A snake story from India is told by General Sir Thomas Edward Gordon; An officer happened to cast his arm over the side of the bed one night, and < he was awakened by sharp bite on one of his fingers. Calling for a light, he and the servant who brought 1t, on nasty examination, decided that the punctured marks were those of q snake bite, and after tightly binding his arm In two places to stop circulation, he proceeded, with the servants assist ance, to cut off the bitten finger. In the mean time his dog cart was made ready and he was taken quickly to the regimental hospital, where medical treatment was promptly applied. The surgeon examined the severed portion Of the finger and pronounced the bite to be that of a rat. And to complete this snake story it might be asked if the surgeon really knew that the bite was the bite of rat.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08

Tulsa, Indian Territory, claims the champion liar of the world. While en- gagged in fight the liar, being consid- erably worsted, called upon two of his friends to help him, but they refused. When 1t was all over he spluttered: Didn't you hear me holler for help?" Yes, I heard you holler," replied one who knew him well, "but you're such a liar that didn't know whether you meant 1t or not.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08
NEW HAVEN, CONN.
THE OLDEST DAILY PAPER PUB-
 LgsHED IN CONNECTICUT.

DELIVERED BY CARRIERS IN THE CITY, 12 CENTS A WEEK, 50 CENTS A MONTH, $3 FOR SIX MONTHS, $6 A YEAR. THD SAME TERMS BY MAIL. SINGLE COPIES, 2 CENTS.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08

Every subsistence officer of the army will be ordered at one or another time to duty at one of the three schools in this country for bakers and cooks. It is held that every officer of the army, for that matter, should serve a period of observation and instruction at the school to the end that company com manders may fully understand the method of preparing food for soldiers in the field as well as in garrison The work of the commissary officers in this respect has attained great importance, and it is possible that fourth school will be established at the large mili- tary posts near Manila, so that officers on duty in the Philippines may have an opportunity of learning how food should be cooked and how bread should be baked.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08

The author-or compiler-of Joe Mr- ler's book of jests was trying to think of a suitable title for the work. "I don't know he said, but ought to call it Jokes Galore" Gay Lore Seer" Convinced, however. that this was even worse than anything in the book he prudently forbore-Chicago Tribune.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08

Professor Goldwin Smith objects to phonetic spelling on the ground that the spelling we use is historical and familiar. and that phonetic clipping will make 1t "unhistorical, unfamiliar and uncouth" On the strictly prac- tical side, he says of the effects of a change to phonetic spelling: "The con- tents of our existing libraries would suffer, especially perhaps our books of poetry. There would be perplexity in our schools Would slight saving of type or of handwriting suffice to re- pay us?" And he makes this sugges- ton: "such change at all events would seem to require the consent of the various communities by which Eng fish Is written. How could this consent be obtained?"
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08

Opium smoking is increasing in Chi na and is becoming more respectable lat the same time. A customs report from Ichang says: The returns show a more than tenfold increase in the na- tive opium cultivation. The opium smoker has no longer any reason to att tempt to conceal his pleasant habit or to retire for it's satisfaction to the "kuan" or divan--now no longer pa tronized by the well-to-do. Every re- spectable house now has its "fumoir," ]" and Is expected to take as well as to offer a few whiffs in the course of an ordinary visit. Opium smoking among the Chinese has ceased to be generally regarded as vice, and, like tea drink ing in England, has definitely taken a place among the customs of the coun- try.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08
A FRIDAY DINNER.

With the greatest summer heat be- hind us we can plan somewhat more easily and to the vegetarian dishes on Friday add one or two more of fsh. As a good dinner for the middle of September the following menu Is easily procurable in almost any part of this country
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08

THE WEEKLY JOURNAL. Issued Thursdays, One Dollar Year.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08
ThH gn1rrnaI and GuUrter

THE HARRINGTON PUBLISHING co.
 OFFICE, 400 STATE STREET.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-09-08
Cucumber Soup
asturtium Salad

d Halibut Tomato Sauce ,d Potatoes Suceotash
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
Real Booze Artist.

From the Kansas City Journal
 It Is the proud boast of Philadelphia man about town who is seen daily on Chestnut street that he knows everything about intoxicants. how to serve and drink them and how to mix them. All the bar tenders in the central part of the city know him, and are particularly careful when he comes in. as he is quick to find fault The other day he walked into a Chestnut street cafe with a friend, who called for beer. It was during the rush hour so the bartender hastily drew the beer and set 1t before the connoisseur's friend. Don't drink that" hastily Inter posed the particular man. Then calling the bartender he said: How many times have I told you the proper way to serve that beer? Pour this out and give me what I want" The bartender poured <St the beer, and taking the glass. rinsed it out first with hot water. then with cold He then brought the glass over to the man. who placed his hand lightly on the outside of the glass and said: Yes. that's about the right temperature; now fi 1t up." The dozens of men In the cafe who were glad enough to get beer in any old kind of q glass gazed in awe at the true booze artist.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
JEWISH MARK TWAIN"
Unique Figure in New York's East
 Side Life Is Quaint Author.

From the January Broadway.
 Solomon abinowicz-Scholem Aleichem the "Yiddish Mark Twain" All these titles have been carried into popular favor by a thin wiry, red-headed little Rus sian Jew, whose writings have earned fol him d sobriquet comparison with our own Samuel L. Clemens, and whose na- tive wit and humor have proclaimed nm a., the man who makes the Jewish peo- ple laugh'-no easy thing to do, if we are to believe the words of the East Side rabbls who work in Baxter and Hester streets.
 Sholem Aleichem's coming to New York-he is a refugee out of Russia-has been heralded with joy among his follow CTS and his readings have been hstened to with delight. An odd, queer, old-Worid character he nevertheless possesses such a human appeal in his work that Bris- bane, in his Evening Journal gave Ra- binowicz an enthusiastic write-up and ad- vised all Journal readers to study the Jewish Mark Twan's works.
 Like all the others of his race-or bet ter yet like all who come out of Rus sia-he has a wholesome sympathy for the man who is down. Much of his writ ing reminds one of Dickens in it's pathos: the humor is q peculiar, foreign sort or fun-makine and not at all like Mark Twain's brand There is always sorrow, always bitterness in Jewish humor, ne says In all. he is the author of some twenty volumes of plays, novels and poems His book of sketches, Little Souls has recently been translated into English. Rabinowlcz himself, though ia miliar with most continental languages, speaks no English whatsoever. He is 4I years old
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
Description of Movements of Sensa
 tional Strauss-Wilde Music Drama.

From the January Broadway.
 Dr. Otto Netzel. who was the first in the field with a lecture on the subject, said after playing over much of the music for the writer:
 "Salome is generally represented by a whimsical jumping sort of tune. ex- pressive of the mobility of a squirrel and the grace of cat Sometimes she is accompanied by slow tone steps to indicate her lurking, gliding curiosity As she angrily rushes from the palace Strauss gives her still a third motif. All three of these are much used in the exposition.
 '"There are two motifs for Jokanaan, one representing holiness and austerity and the other kindness and pity. These perhaps are the most important of the themes employed, but there are many minor ones"
 Wishing to know about the dance, the writer asked Dr. Neitzel to play 1t. As a composer of turing dance music Strauss proved himself in Also Spracn Zarathustra" in which there Is love ly, maddening waltz, deliciously played by the first violin. The dance In "Salome" begins with Oriental fascina- tion and ends as a bacchanale. On thc piano 1t is net effective. Dr. Neitzel explained that it depends for it's effect on the orchestral color and on the dancer herself IL is made up of the themes of the opera and is not an ex- traneous composition nor an ordinary air de ballet The time and rhythm and key constantly change and there is very little sustained melody.
 The opera Is in but one act and tho stage setting. of course, remains un- changed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
Crime Aoainst Society.

From "The Moral Aspects of Suicide by
 Cardinal Gibbons in the January Cen
 tury.
 Voluntary self-murder is not only violation of the divine law. but is also a crime against society. We are social be- ings. We owe a duty to the common- wealth as well as to ourselves. We mu- tually depend on one another, like the members of our physical body. For none of us liveth to himself; and no man dieth to himself" Human society may be compared to a general army, every member of which has a special place and mission assigned to him by his Sovereign Commander To Abandon the post of duty intrusted to a sentinel is regarded by the military code as most cowardly act. which is punished with extreme rigor What less does the suicide do than basely abandon the situation as- signed to him in the warfare of life? And there is no vice more contagious thar cowardly desertion. It is often followed by general mutiny. The same is true of suicide. When few deeds of self murder are widely circulated by the press, they are not 1infrequently followed by numerous voluntary daughters. A suicidal. wave rolls over the land.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30

inee Monday afternoon and a performance Monday night There will be a special New Year matinee Tuesday and special performance Tuesday night. For the re- mander of the week there will be the regular matinees every day and perform ances severy night.
 Thirty-five people are in the company, of whom g are girls, said to be pretty in face, form and figure, who will be heard and seen in pretty songs. dances and en- sembles.
 The Cracker Jacks corps of oomedi- ans is headed by Bob van Osten, the man with the duck nose, with Warner and Eckel able seconds.
 The curtain rises on a clever skit, novel in the extreme entitled "A Society Whirl.' which brings out the women in pretty attire in all the latest and best headed by the Model Venus, Miss Ruby Leoni. In the olio are Welsh and Malt land, eontortionists and acrobats, an act which is d feature in itself Eckel and Warner, team of German artists and laugh-mal<ers: Della Faytelle. the girl from Dixie, in coon shouting songs. and Willard Brothers a pair of bicycle riders.
 The closing burlesque speaks for itself. and is a revelation in burlesque. Nature in Marble Hall' brings to the front all the members of the company. and a num- Der of artistic costumes are displayed, backed with beautiful scenery and unique electrical effects. One of the features is Ciolo. the French artist, the girl in the red silken tights"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
Thou Hast Sworn By Thy God.

By Allan Cunningham. Thou hast sworn by thy God, my Jeanne By that pretty white hand O thine And by a the lowing stars in heaven, That thou wad aye be mine; And I hae sworn by my God, my Jeanie, And by that kind heart O thine, By a the stars sown thick owre heaven, That thou shalt aye be mine Then foul ia the hands that wad loose
 sic bands,
 An the heart that wad part sic luve But there's nae hand can loose my band, But the finger O God abuve. Though the wee, wee cot maun be my
 bield,
 And by claithing ger so mean. I wad lap me rich f the faulds O luve, Heavens are flu O my Jean Her white arm wad be a pillow for me Far safter than the down; And LuVe wad winnow owre us his kind.
 kind wings,
 An sweetly I'd sleep. an soun Come here to me thou lass O my luve, Come here and kneel wi me! The morn is fu' O the presence O God, An l canna pray without thee. The morn-wind is swet 'mang the beds O
 new flowers,
 The wee birds sing kindlie an hie, Our guedman leans owre his kale-yard
 duke,
 And a blythe auld bodie Is he. The Beuk maun be taen when the earle
 comes hame,
 Wi the holie psalmodie; And thou maun speak O me to thy God, And I will speak o thee.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
NAT GOODWIN AS A COMEDIAN.
An Actor Who Comes, Into Ills Own
 Again.

"The Players" in the January Every
 bodys.
 After many years devoted to playing wide range of parts, from that of a young lover of Shylock. N. C. Goodwin has re- turned to farce. in which he made his first great success. "The Genius" Is lively, cheerful conceit, written to provoke laughter and it's chief merit lies in giY- ing MT. Goodwin q chance to display his remarkable art. He has plenty to do, and one doubts If there is another living com edian who could do it as well And there is not the slightest suggestion of effort He was far better iq serious roles tran people gave him credit for being, but after all his mission in life Is to make people laugh. The farce was written by William c. DeMile autor of Strong heart" in collaboration with his brother Cecil. It was originally called "The Genius and the Mode.' and Edna Good rich, a really and truly original Floro- dora "sextetter.' starred in it without success. She still plays the part of the model. and not badly. with Mr Good win, who proves what one actor can ae- complish for 1t is hardly conceivable that New York would care much for the farce without him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
The Choir Invisible.

By George Eliot. Oh, may I jon the choir invisible Of those immortal dead who live again In minds made better by their presence; live
 In pulses stirred to generosity, In deeds of daring rectitude. in scorn OF miserable aims that end with self In thoughts sublime that pierce the night
 like stars And with their mild persistence urge
 mems minds To vastor issues. So to live Is heaven;
 
 May I reach That purost heayen-be 10 other souls The cup of strength in some great agony, EEkinGle generous ardor, feed pure love, Beget the smiles that have no cruelty. Be the sweet presence of good diffused, And in difius on evermore intense, So shall I join the choir invisible Whose music is the gladness of the world
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
In a Copy of Omar khayyam.

By James Russell Lowell These pearls of thought in Persian gulfs
 were bred Each softly lucent as a rounded moon: The diver Omar plucked them from their
 bed, Fitzgerald strung them on an English
 thread. Fit rosary for a queen, in shape and
 hue When Contemplation tells her pensve beads Of mortal thoughts. forever old and new Fit for queen2 Why, surely then for
 you. The moral? Where Doubts eddies toss
 and twr Faiths slender shallop till her footing
 reel, Plunge! If you find not peace beneath
 the whirl, Groping, you may like Omar grasp a
 pearl.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
Satisfied.
From Life.

In the taking of testimony, an 1rishman, who was a witness. had been bully-ragged by the opposing counsel to the extent that he left the room furious, and after the meeting declared: He wud smash the zla-garred in tn face.
 The attorney whose witness the Irish- man was mildly remonstrated and said: Why Pat. If you would do that you would soon be sorry for It."
 Pat meditated few seconds and then replied
 'sNolI, whniver Oi q anything loko thot. thot Orm sorry for-Oim dom glad of It"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
In old Rome.

From the Chicago News.
 After the feast of peacock tongues Nero ordered his hilarious guests to partake Of the flowing bowl
 ''Ye gods of Greece" exclaimed one old senator. after hls seventh cup, this Ro- man punch is the limit, Why, 1t makes man feel funny"
 The wicked emperor laughed.
 "Funny?'' he chuckled. Well. l should say it does, It makes him feel even fun nier than London punch" For even in those days Britannia was knnwn for har wit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
Oh, Vert Thou In the caud Blast

By Robert Burns. Oh vert thou in the cauld blast, On yonder lea, on wonder lea; My plaidic 70 the angry airt I'd shelter thee. I'd shelter thee; Or did misfortune's bitter storms Around thee blaw, around thee blaw, Thy bield should be my bosom, To share it a, to share 1t a. .- s.
 { Or were l in the widest wastes Sac black and bare. sac black and bare The desert were paradise If thou vert there, if thou vert there Or were l monarch O the globe, WI thee -to reign, wi thee to reign; The brightest jewel in my crown Wad be my queen. wad be my queen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
Not Doing His Duty.

From the Baltimore American.
 Sporty Son-Come. ma. the automobile won't go so we'll have to walk home.
 Old Lady-Why don't you make that lazy shnyar thara shove?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30

Henry NJ Blossom, Jrs great racing play, "ChecSers." will be here at the Jefferson the fourth week in January. It is the show that has lifted the mortgage for local managers all along the circuit. The total receipts for one week in the northwest were $1,122.75.
 "Hoity Toityn Maxine Elliott, "The Land of Nod" "The Vanderbilt Cup and the Rogers Brothers are some of the January attractions at the Jefferson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
II

Take them and keep them. Silver thorn and flower, Plucked just at random
 In the rosy weather Snowdrops and pansies.
 Spring of wayside heather, And five-leafed wild-rose
 Dead within an hour. Take them and keep them:
 Who. can tell? some day. dear
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30

CThough they be withered, Flower and thorn and blossom) Held for an instant
 Up against thy bosom, They might make December Seem to thee like May, dear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30
Flower and Thorn.
IS Bailey Aldrich.

By Thomas Bailey Aldrich. At Shiraz, in a sultan's garden, stood A tree whereon curious apple grew, One side like honey, and one side like rue. Thus sweet and bitter is the life of man, The sultan said. for thus together grow Bitter and sweet, but wherefore none
 may know. Herewith together you have flower and
 thorn, Both rose and brier, for thus together
 grow Bitter and sweet. but wherefore none
 may know.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-12-30

are in the hands of Charles Stlne and
 Miss Olive Evans.