Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-03-18

Ladies and gentlemen, suppose we SHIFT
Already. in sweet spirit at least. have we
tarried oyerlong in the sunny Wales OF
southern Tennessee We surmise 1t; we
know it. The signs are abroad. Yester-
day the Hon. Walter Brownlow of Ten
nessee approached us. Look here" he said,
as he playfully juggled pair of brass
knuckes and a derringer, Tennessee Is
great state, but she's modest l indorse
everything you've said about my colleagues
Hale the descendant of Ollie Cromwell
Sims the dodger of automobiles and Gaines
the believer of Nashville-in fact, l ap-
prove SO heartily that IL you ever mention
my name above a whisper III assault you
fearful"
So let us forsake Tennessee for the nonce
and journey to other parts. Let us close
our ears to the clank OF the cow beii ana
the blast of the auto horn and mark TO the
tinkling tintabulations of a Chopin soma ia.
Let us list not to the chatter of the hair
Tipped rustic, but soothe our ears instead
with the cultured accents OF Phiiadeiphia
and Paris. Let US gaze lntently al Inc
Honorable Edward Dew. Morrell
Ladies' and gentlemen. let us start out
right today let there be no misunderstood
inss. Don't ask me what the Dew. stands
for. because 1 don't know. That's the way
he was christened: that's the way he writes
hts name. Everywhere in vain have
searched for a solution. Finally in mo-
ment of desperation I asked Mr.. Morrell
himself but was unrewarded-
That replied the honorable Edward
Dew. Morreil, Ticking dainttly at his coat
sleeve with 'kerchief of Irish point, is
distinctly family matter.
tlemen. that there is a method In this mys-
terry. for there Is often q whole lot In
neme. A leather couch may often contain
the family wash. folding bed Is some
times called china closet. And am re-
minded, ladies and gentlemen that once
,Inon a time I drifted into hashery ana
sat me down to eat. The bill OF fare had
gilt edges and was printed In New for ns
ceaI the fact that I was cropping in the
dark. bring me an order OF potpourri a la
| Irelandaise" And he did. Never since
| that fateful day have paid out two re-
iuctant simoleons for plate of Irish stew.
| Oh. long-lost plunks Oh, merry mas
| querade!
Now, ladies and gentlemen. let US start
| at the beginning: let us follow the Honor
| able Edward Dew. through an eventfui
| career. In the first place he was born at
| Newport, although after one glimpse of the
| Honorable Edward Dew. tits unnecessary to
| announce the fact. And the Honorable
| Dew ia a careful man. He tells US in his
| Conversational Directory autobiography that
| his parents were sojournfng at Newport on
| the occasion of this interesting event. he
| leaves nothing to the Imagination does the
| Hon Edward Dew.
| Ladies and gentlemen. let us pass lightly
| over the early years OF the Hon. Edward
| nav A succession of triumphs Is not easily
| expressed In prose. On his first appear
| ance on the streets of Philadelphia in a
| pera incubator there was riot. When he
| went into kits twas necessary to hire q
| hall that the ardent admirers might NOT
| feel hurt When he put on short trousers
| Philadelphia awoke with a snort. and when
| he went away to college a neighDoring sem
| mary had TO build an annex during his
/ freshman year.