davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
 MATTERS OF THE TIMES

ruler of Athens in it's palmy days; Pha- raoh, ditto Alexander the Great, builder of Westminster abbey Confucius an Egyptian orator who taught mathematics; Julius Caesar, last of the Egyptian kings; George Washington, the man who discov- cred America in 1912; Phoenicians, race of people dwelling in northwest Italy, who won fame by "immigrating' their cus- toms to all parts of the world. The profes- sor is said to be slowly recovering. SAMMY" FOR INSTANCE. cannot sing the old songs,
 In truth. l fear to do it; l cannot sing the old songs Some chap might make me rue 1t. Rubinstein kissed two chorus girls. Umphl Who wouldn't, if they were young and fresh ones? A man in Connecticut turned the horn of his graphophone out of the window and set the machine to going every time he beat his wife so that the neighbors could not hear her cries. That man was mean to his wife and his neighbors. too.  It is more blessed to give than to re- ceive; likewise harder.
 DO SOMETHING WRONG.
 The easiest thing in
 The world no doubt,
 Is to get yourself
 Much talked about. c. Bernard Shaw is said to have been cured of his insane egotism by reading newspaper clippings sent him from the United States Let us pray that he may not have a relapse. Engineer Stevens says that we will have the canal by 1913. Make it 1914, MT, Stevens, just for good luck. A bill providing that a person suffering intense pain with no hope of recovery should be killed, did not become a law in Ohio. We are still old-fashioned in soma respects.
 HELPS SOME.
 A little rake-off
 Now and then
 Is welcome to the
 Best of men. California wine is a beautifier, says Sem ator Perkins and to hear him talk you would think that he had an agency. Mrs. Biff never was much of a hand at laying carpets but she Is an expert at laying down the law" remarked Colonel Biff.
 Gee. but it's hell to be poor" said Checkers and everybody sighed Amen" A man in Suffolk, Va, drank threa bottles of laudanum after being married three weeks. Is marriage a failure? Another bachelors club has been or ganized with the intention. of stunning the girls. Sour grapes, no doubt.
 VALENTINES.
 Roses red.
 Violets blue,
 Valentines
 Are most due.
 Seems just like
 We can't make
 Up our minds
 Which to take.
 Some are good,
 Some are bad
 Some are gay
 Some are sad
 While it's cheap,
 'Tis unkind
 To send the
 Comic kind. People who swing their arms while walking on crowded streets are looked up on as a nuisance. The modern life is get ting more so evsry day.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Colonel Mann has a lovely suit of whiskers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Boston should shout "Banzai," for the Japanese emperor says he likes beans.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

A bill providing that a person suffering intense pain with no hope of recovery should be killed, did not become a law in Ohio. We are still o1d-fashioned in soma respects
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Castro upon the mountain top sig nals the French with his fingers on his nose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27
ALABAMA PRESS

DeKalb Record: The rabbit dance" seems to have been popular hop at Annapolis.
 West Point and Lanett News: Burton, the dlsgraced United States senator from Kansas, has gone home. He ought to stay there, if the people will let him.
 Oneonta Democrat: We would like to ex- perience the sensation of being able to throw a shoe at the alarm clock and then roll over and go to sleep again
 Prattyille Progress: There can be no question that the dispensary system Is growing In popular favor in Alabama. Two of it's leading towns. Huntsville and Opellka, seem to be getting in shape for the innovation.
 Columbia Breeze: A New York banker says there will be terrible panic un- less we hasten to secure an elastic cur rency People who wear their money be- low the garter will, however, be likely to cling to the opinion that our currency is elastic enough.
 Cullman Democrat: The New York World says Booker Washington Is the greatest southern gentleman and states man. It is now in order for the Pulitzers to persuade Booker to push his number twelves under their mahogany.
 Gadsden Journal: Mccall has sold his summer home to pay back the money to the New York Life Insurance company that he entrusted to his friend, Andrew Hamilton, while Andy" still sojourns among the gay Parisians. The tie between them does not seem to be Damon and Pythias affair.
 Huntsville Mercury: The negro students of the Talladega Agricultural college who thought that the appointment of a young southern white man as superintendent was "Dlow to their manhood were, evident ly, victims of the recollection of the pipe stories they have heard from old grand pappy about white overseers "befo de wah."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Engineer Stevens says that we will have the canal by 1s1s Make it 1914, MT. Stevens just for good luck.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

The French know how to conduct quiet and quick presidential elections.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

The pumping of Castro cannot be | begun too soon or be carried too far.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Castro is resting and whetting his machete.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Hazing is all right If the hazers are not caught at 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Good men are wanted for postmas- ters. Why not put them in all the omces?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

L. H. Russ and George D. Britain are he only authorized travelling representa- lives of The Age-Herald in its circulation department
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

A scientist says a crocodile is not alert. and we will take his word for it..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

No communication will be published without it's authors name. Rejected man. uscripts will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27
DIR, LAWSON.

The captain of the Valencia was also a hero.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

P. Bigelow got eead sure tip from the Boston university and resigned.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Castro should confer at once with his old friend, General Uribe-Uribe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Pneumonia is almost as deadly as the automatic pistol.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Daily and Sunday Age-Herald.. $500 Daily and Sunday, per month.......... " Sunday Age-Herald, per annum..... zoV Weekly ARe-Herald per annum....... l.W
 Subscription payable in advance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27
NEIODRA ANA

ME1ODRAMA. He was vile. abandoned man And led a wicked life. He beat his children every day And also struck his wife. He cursed and swore, he raved and
 tore,
 His character was fierce He had a heart so petrified
 No ray of good could pierce. Twas such a man, however, who At last became quite good And proved to every one that he Had been misunderstood. For when the final curtain rose And showed a happy home Where he would live in sweet content And never more would roam. The gallry gods did clap their hands, Applause came from the pit. Twas then the toiling actor man Perceived he'd made a hit
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27
BREAKING.

BREAKING. Breaking records, Breaking banks, Breaking necks and Breaking shanks; Breaking rock for Breaking laws, Breaking homes and Never pause; Breaking hearts that Should be glad, Breaking. breaking It's a fad.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Hens will lay in any state if you
 give them warm weather enough.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

President Roosevelt says that the Amer ican navy could whip the Japanese, ship for ship. shhhl MT. President, they might hear youl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

The crops of 1906 begin to loom up in Wall street already.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

It is more blessed to give than to re- ceive; likewise harder.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Press Agent Bishop Is still waiting for action in an executive session.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Secretary Shaw sees no music in all this third-term intermezzo.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

West Point and Lanett News: Burton, the disgraced United States senator from Kansas, has gone home. He ought to stay there, if the people will let him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

washington Bureau Age-Herald 142l G street. N. W.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Dowie begins to think that he needs the Kaiser's lese majeste law.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Prof. Albert Bushnell Hart is out with some more patronizing advice to the south. Professor Hart is the pedagogue who made an ass of himself by showing how much he does not know about the negro question.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Alfonso has gone a-courting. says news item. Naturally he wants to get IN TOUCH with his intended before making a formal proposal Most suitors do.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

Rubinstein kissed two chorus girls. Umphl Who wouldn't, if they were young and fresh ones?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

man in Connecticut turned the horn of his graphophone out of the window and set the machine to going every time he beat his wife so that the neighbors could not hear her cries. That man was mean to his wife and his neighbors too.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

 Entered at the Birmingham Ala, post office as second-class matter under act of Congress March B. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

DeKalb Record The rabbit dance seems to have been popular hop at Annapolis.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

DO SOMETHING WRONG. The easiest thing in
 The world, no doubt, Is to get yourself
 Much talked about.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27
"sAMMY.e FoR INsTANcE

cannot sing the old songs.
 In truth. l fear to do 1t; l cannot sing the old songs Some chap might make me rue it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27
HELPS SOME. A little rake-off
 Now and then Is welcome to the Best of men.

California wine is beautifier. says Sem ator Perkins and to hear him talk you would think that he had an agency.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-01-27

A 4 While it is no doubt sad to contem- p.@1e the sale of Mcoalls magnificent summer home to pay his debts to the New York Life Insurance company, the chances are that he would not have sold 1t if he hadn't been found out.
 
 A Chicago man deserted the wife who had borne him a pair of twins and two sets of triplets He held an auto graph letter from President Roosevelt, too, eongratulating him upon his rec ord as a father.
 Still no one knows why Dr. Morris was dismissed from the war depart ment, and the administration may have ordered all such information to be de- stroyed
 J. Adam Bede says that the pilgrim fathers would not have landed on the New England coast if they hadn't been seasick. H. H. Rogers cant beat that joke.
 Two Indiana men fought a duel with whisky, and one man fell after drink ing his forty-ffth glass. His capacity was great, anyway.
 ----s- If MT. Roosevelt would say some thing on the subject we would know whether he is going to decline a third nomination or not.
 If the Coal Barons are named the 'Vulcanites" they will finish at the bottom of the ladder. Vulcan is hoo doc.
 Invitations have been issued to the Roosevelt-Longworth wedding. That much is settled, anyway. Mrs. Joseph Chamberlain, once an American, aided her husbands victory. She is a vote-getter.
 Jacob A. Riis has nearly determined to set third-term precedent in the American republic.
 -~--
 Chicago has a citizen who has spent a fortune in pipes and tobacco, and he is 101 years old.
 Neither the first Elijah nor the one at Zion City seems to have head for business.
 Castro upon the mountain top sig nals the French with his fingers on his nose.
 Good men are wanted for postmas- ters. Why not put them in all the onces?
 Boston should shout "Banzai," for the Japanese emperor says he likes beans.
 The French know how to conduct quiet and quick presidential elections. A scientist says 8 crocodile is not alert, and we will take his word for 1t.
  P. Bigelow got lead sure tip from the Boston university and resigned.
 
 The pumping of Castro cannot be begun too soon or be carried too far.  Castro should confer at once with his old friend, General Uribe-Uribe.
 
 Hens will lay in any state if you give them warm weather enough. Press Agent Bishop Is still waiting | for action in an executive session. ----------.------------- Dowie begins to think that he needs the Kaiser's lese majeste law
 
 Secretary Shaw sees no music in all this third-term intermezzo. The crops of 1906 begin to loom up in Wall street already.
 
 Pneumonia is almost as deadly as the automatic pistol.
 
 Hazing is all right If the hazers are not caught at 1t. |
 Dowie's visions and gowns no longer l keep off creditors.
 Colonel Mann has a lovely suit of l whiskers.
 Castro is resting and whetting his machete. The captain of the Valencia was also a hero.
 DIR. LAWSON. From the Charleston News and Courier. l Thomas W. Lawson of Boston, the cele-
Arizona republican., 1906-08-02

The enterprising landlord who ad- vertised his house as being located 'in a grove of gigantic cherry trees with a ladder for each guest" writes to say that advertising pays and none others need apply-Buffalo Times.
Arizona republican., 1906-08-02
TALK IT OVER WITH YOUR WIFE.

There are thousands of families homeless or living in poverty and wretchedness today, who could have been living in comfort, in good homes if the husbands had confided their bus mess affairs to their wives.
 Women are very much better judges of human nature than men. They can detect rascality, deception and insin- cerity more quickly.
 I know business men who would never think of employing a manager or superintendent. or a man for any other important position, or Sf choosing a partner. without managing in some way to have their wives meet the man and get a chance to estimate him. to read him. They invite the man, whom they are considering for an important position, to their home for dinner. or to spend a Sunday, before deciding. They want the advantage of that mar velous feminine instinct which goes so directly and unerringly to it's mark.
 I have known of several instances
Arizona republican., 1906-08-02

If the Mormons of Arizona have been paying any attention to the Arizona Star they must by this time be in a state of confusion filled with uncer- tainty whether to go in or stay out.
Arizona republican., 1906-08-02
Bad Stomach Makes
 Bad Blood.


 You can not make sweet butter in a foul, uncean churn. The stomach serves ns a churn in which to agitate, work up and dlsintegrate our food as it Is being digested. If 1t be weak, sluggish ana foul the result will be torpid, sluggish liver and bad, impure blood.
 The ingredients of Dr. Pierce'S Golden Medical Discovery are just such as best serve to correct and cure all such de- engagements. It is made up without drop of alcohol in it's composition; chem ically pure, triple-reined glycerine being used instead of the commonly employed alcohol. Now this glycerine Is of itself 3 valuable medicine, instead of a deleteri- Ous agent like alcohol, especially in the cure of weak stomach, dyspepsia and the various forms of indigestion. Prof. Finley Ellingwood, NJ. D., of Bennett Medical College, Chicago, says Of 1t:
 UIn dyspepsia 1t serves an excellent pur- 1red products of the present time in its action upon enfeebled. disordered stomachsi ] especially If there Is alteration or catarrhal gastritis (catarrhal inflammation of stOmachl, it is a most efficient preparation. Glycerine will relieve many cases of pyrosis lheartburn) and excessive gastric acidity. It Is useful in chronic intestinal dyspepsia especially the hatulent variety. and In certain forms Of chronic constipation. stimulating the secre. tory and excretory functions of the intestinal
 When combined, in just the right propOr- tions, with Golden Seal root, Stone root Black Cherry bark, Queens root, Blood root and Mandrake root, or the extracts of these, as in Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, there can be no doubt of Its great efficacy in the cure Of all stomach liver and intestinal disorders and derange- ments. These several ingredients have the strongest endorsement in all such cases of such eminent medical leaders as Prof. k. Bartholow. M. D., of Jefferson Med icaI College, Chicago; Prof Hobart A. Hare, NJ D. of Medical Department University of Pa; Prof Laurence Johnson, NJ. D.. Medical Department, University of New York; Prof. Edwin M. Hale. Nj. D., Hahnemann Medical College. Chicago: Prof. John M. Scudder. M. D. and Prof. John King. M. D.. Authors of the American Dispensatory, and scores of others among the leading medical men of our land. Who can doubt the curative virtues of a medicine the ingredients of which havo | such a professional endorsement?
 Constipation cured by Doctor PieTce'S | Pleasant Pellets. One or two dose.
Arizona republican., 1906-08-02
MOVEMENT TONIGHT
 UPON AUSTIN, TEX.
The Arizona SOlSisry Gathering for
 the ExpsditiOn.

Arizona's brave soldieTy now has it's muskets furnished and its knapsacks ready for the campaign. Already the bugle has sounded and the troops are massing for the forward movement under the battle cry of "On to Austin"
 Captain George w. Campbell and company I of the First Infantry left Flagstaff yesterday for Phoenix and are expected to arrive here this morn ing on the Diamond Jo. They will spend the day in Phoenix and tonight at S:3O. their car will be attached to the regular M & P. train, together with a car for the accommodation of B company of Phoenix under Captain Parks, a baggage car for all the com panies and a standard Pullman for the officers.
 At Tempe another car will be added. carrying c company and Captain Carl T. Hayden. At Maricopa the guards men will wait for the arrival of com pany Fl, of Yuma under Captain Don kersley, that company also having a car for its accommodation. The Yuma company will come on No. 10, east bound and immediately on its arrival a special train will be made up at Mar icopa, composed of all the military cars. If 1t can be made up fast enough the special train will leave Maricopa ahead of No. 10. otherwise it will leave very soon afterward, and will pass No. 10 at or before it reaches Tucson. The plan is to rush the soldiers through as fast as possible on special schedule, getting them into camp at Austin with the least possible delay.
 L. H. Landis of the M. & P. will ac- company the train as mascot and rep | resentative of the Southern Pacific in ! matters pertaining to transportation.
Arizona republican., 1906-08-02
WE'RE, NOT LOVED FOR OUR
 SELVES ALONE.

We are not informed as to what ex- tent the subjoined from the Roswell CN. M.) Daily Record represents the sentiment of New Mexicans generally toward Arizonians. Roswell is the home of Governor Hagerman. by the way, but it is presumed that he does not participate in the bathing for us which the Record expresses. The Rec ord's pen picture of our character as a people will hardly incline us more en- Enthusiastically toward the proposed union.
 It is plain now that we are not loved for ourselves alone; not for our beau ties of person, our charm of manner. our exaltedness of character and our rich mental gifts. The love of the New Mexicans, as is disclosed by the writer for the Roswell Record. is not dlsinterested, but is sordid and un- worthy. They are merely after the dowry. Here Is the feeling of the Rec ord toward Arizona and Arizonians:
 We are all for statehood down here and expect to vote for jointure or any other old kind congress Is willing to give us, and we are going about our business supporting the same without any hurrah yarns or meanness in our hearts. But 1t is trying and galling and almost unbearable when one comes to consider the un-neighborly egotistical mean spirit displayed by some Arizonians. It is especially so to the old timers and those who know the facts. For years and years it has been a by word. "He went to Arizona to keep from going to the pen" and this covered other areas than New Mexico. It Is we'll known that it Is the cesspool, the Jumping-off place oi humanity. And while there are. oi course, many good people there that are not all that kind. and then agair they make a great bugaboo about ouI Mexicans, legislatures, bad govern ment. etc. which is all rot in compari- son with them. And then they talk about illeteracy in the face of statistics which show a greater per cent in Ari- zona than in New Mexico. In short we can out-slze them in everything or Goods green earth-taxable property live stock, Agriculture. horticulture miles of railroad. public schools churches, population. and everything except mining. drouths and outlaws We submit to the unfairness of the bil which gives them one member to thu constitutional convention for 450 votei to our $50 and also other division! equally as unfair considering our pop ulatlon as compared to theirs, and the1 give US in return their name, for all O which We are supposed to be meek lowly and thankful, and in their eye unfit. But there is yet hope that wheI thrown together with the broad, big hearted people of New Mexico they vii get over their little, narrow. egotistica ways.
 We are glad we found this out il time. We would not feel happy yoke' up with superior worth and intelli gence. with so much freedom from "il leteracy." Perhaps. if the census en umerator had caught and counted tn writer. New Mexico's showing in liter acy would not have been so high.
Arizona republican., 1906-08-02

Now as soon as 1t Is shown in the Hartje case that somebody has been guilty of murder and idolatry the fracture of the decalogue win be com plete.
Arizona republican., 1906-08-02

A woman doesn't object so much to a mans past as she does to his pres ents--to some other wOman.-Chicago News.
Arizona republican., 1906-08-02
A RUNNING MATE FoP MIR. BRYAN

It is interesting to learn from MT. Charles A Towne that he is willing to be the candidate for e-president on the democratic ticket in 1908. MT. Towne obviously believes that MT. Bryan will welcome this announcement with enthusiasm. He explains that Mir. Bryan wishes the vice-president to be practically a member of the cabinet. He would not have him a mere presid- ing officer of the senate and possible successor to himself. On the contrary, he would rely upon him for advice and assistance. and so keep him in sym pathy with the administration. This is a novel program, but it remains to be seen whether 1t originated in the brain of MT. Bryan or MT. Towne. There is no evidence that MT. Bryan has been consulted so far. Indeed, as he says he is not a formal candidate 1t is diff hcult to understand how he could en- ter into an arrangement with a candi- date for the second place. In any case he might prefer some one who would give a more conservative aspect to the ticket.
Arizona republican., 1906-08-02

It begins to appear that the rising at Sveaborg Is like other disturbances which have sprung up in Russia begin ming with the Black Sea mutiny, fierc- CT on paper than in reality. The Svea- borg outbreak was evidently less threatening than either the Black Sea or the Cronstadt affair and it Is rap idly coming to the same inglorious end. These instances of unrest do not by q long way. make up a revolution. They rather obstruct an effective revolution and certainly delay the reformation of Russia by peaceful means.
Arizona republican., 1906-08-02
PHOENIX, ARIz, AUGUST 2, 1906

Don't leave the city for mountain or beach without having The Repub- Iican accompany you. It will be a long daily letter from home. You will be lonesome without 1t.
Arizona republican., 1906-08-02

A New Mexico editor who Is doubt less a summer widower, remarks: "when a man sends his wife and children away on trip, he sits on the porch alone in the evening and won ders where is the devilish good time men are supposed to have when their wives are out of town" Why does he sit on that porch alone in the evening Does he expect a devilish good time to come around after him?