The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1906-09-01
UNHAPPY WOMEN.

late from unhappy married women,
that think there must be great
many of that class of wives. The
burden of such letters seems to be
that the writer's husbands have not
done the square thing by them that
these men are cross and neglectful (;
spend money literally in selfish in
dulgences, but have little to spars to
brighten up the home freside and
make it place of love and cheer.
1 am free to confess that / do not
know much about that kind of men,
nor how to deal with them but I
can realize that no greater misfortune
could behalf a good woman than to
find herself tied for life to a man of
the species depicted in some of the
letters I have received. One can
not pick up daily newspaper of any
great city without feeling that I'M
happiness and wretchedness are
stalking abroad, and that the quar-
rels, murders, suicides, divorces,
&c., therein set forth, evidence a
dismal condition not dreamed of in
homes of quiet thrift and content.
Money doesn't seem 10 help such
matters, for millionaries have as
many domestic troubles, and fly to
the divorce courts as frequently as
those of low estate. Some of the
greatest of scandals have had their
origin among people of high social
standing and great wealth.
What then shall we do? AS there
seems to be no way out of the misery
that illmated pairs create for them
selves, is it not quite time for girls
to be more particular about their
associates, and not allow themselves
to be inveigled into marrying men of
doubtful characters and habits !?
But my unhappy letter writers tell
me that they have been deceived,
and that their husbands are not at
all like the lovers they once were.
After so many ages of civilization
and intelligence, it should be known
by this time, seems to me, that
lover is seldom a lover for life.
This is too big a contract for most
men. The average man puts on the
smiles and courteous behavior in his
courting days the same as he does
his polished linen and claw-hammer
coat.
It is unreasonable to expect man
to cling to the soft nothings of court
ship, when the bread and butter
problem for family is bearing down
heavily upon him, and when he
scarcely knows which way to turn to
provide all that seems to be required.
If he had mind to "speak out in
meeting" he, too, might divulge
tale of unexpected woes; he, too,
might let disappointed cat out of
the bag by divulging to the world
that there is more hard work and
hustle in the matrimonial state than
the most conservative man had ex-
pected to find. Isn't 1t about time
to treat the subject of marriage in a
sane way, and with the solemnity
that belongs to an obligation assumed
for life?
A younger brother of the Head of
the Sidneys said to me about the
time we were married: "You don't
expect to like one another in your
everyday clothes, do you? I'd never
like a woman if 1 saw her in her
everyday clothes p I was obliged
to tell him that we had never talked
about everyday clothes. The years
that have gone, however, attest the
fact that everyday clothes have been
the chief part of our raiment. Why
hadn't we given more thought to
them? Why did I slip up the back
way to put on clean dress every
time my beloved unexpectedly ap-
preached the home? 1t is a species
of deception that the best of us prac-
tice; and yet we know we must
stand out in our true colors sooner or
later!
Why can't we be honest in our
courtships?
Many girl adorns herself for the
marriage ceremony in all the elegance
that the family purse can or can not
afford. The house is profusely de-
corated, music delights the ear,
choice viands tickle the palate, and
she leaves her home amid smiles and
congratulations (with old shoes and
rice thrown in for lucky feeling that
her happiness for life is assured.
Alas, how often it proves just the
contrary! She has not taken into
thought the every day character of
the man she has married, and maybe
in few months or years she has to
return to the home she left, sadder
woman, with eyes opened-but too
late-to the fact that sterling charac-
ter alone is what counts and abi0es
in the conjuga1 state.
It is nothing unusual for girls to
associate intimately with men of
doubtful repute. Some girls walk
and ride with smokers they play
cards and drink wine with men on
social occasions, and laugh at those
who stick to the straight and narrow
way" calling them cranks and fanat-
les. They marry these men some
times, and then spend the rest of
their lives wishing they hadn't, or
in nagging and vainly trying to
break up the habits that were once
sweetly tolerated.
This is not fair play. If you
marry men with bad habits you
should stick to them always, for you
have covenanted to do so.
The signs of the times point to-
ward a higher standard of manly
worth. There are 200, 900 miles OF
railroads in this country run by total
abstaiuers from strong drink-no
others need apply. Life insurance
companies have found that even a
moderate drinker is not a good sub.
| iecf for Insurance Dare the vOun Q