The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1906-12-29

The first joyous session that tho
Onion Club has had since Alec Robert
son went away so suddenly to San
Francisco, occurred Thursday after
noon and possibly extended into the
evening. The return Of Robertson had
been anticipated by few of his
friends and when the glad news was
scattered broadside, the crowd began
to flock to the gathering place. They
say that Robertson brought back $45,-
600 of that moss-grown legacy of Cap
tain Parker, while others declared that
it was more. In any event Robertson
looked much improved by his trip.
Chester Doyle did not enjoy Christ
mas He had been the recipient of
several very tempting invitations to
Christmas dinner and out of the lot
had selected the one that he thought
indicated the best prospects i'm the
eating and other lines. But woe unto
the day of his calculations. On the
morning before Christmas his foot be-
gan to swell to prodigious size. When
man is suffering the agonies of the
damned, he is accorded privileges by
lowed by courtesy to call that swelling,
govt. Some of the more contrary ones
declared it was nothing but rheuma-
tism for corned beef and cabbage never
cause govt. In any event, Doyle had
to remain at home all of Christmas
| day and diet himself on eggs an6S
| some minor articles that are out Of
the usual Christmas cheer.
SSSS
1t is amusing to read the stories
| from all over the world about the fell
| designs of the Japanese. If a few'
| Japs happen to gather in Timbuctoo,
| Immediately a cable dispatch an
nounces that the Japs have taken Tim
buctoo. If the Little Jap had as many
| designs" as he is credited WITH he
would be the most horrible menace
! that the world has ever produced But
he hasn't any such worldwide designs
of conquest. He is simply combining
his attention to the Pacific and he pro-
poses to control the Pacific, if thu
United States does not check him.
| There is only one nation that has any
cause for apprehension of the Japanese
SN0S
There's a gentleman out Kaimuki
way who has hit on a clever way OF
Kidding himself and family of the mos
quito pest In his young corn patch
he had a scarecrow and one morning
while viewing his aforesaid patch and
onion beds he observed that the stuff.
ed bag which did duty for the head OF
the scarecrow was covered with mos.
quitos defunct attracted there in life
by the cloth which had once been useC
for the straining of honey. At one,
he conceived the idea of taking tn,
dummy into his parlor evenings anC
now, with an occasional new applica
ton of honey, he reads and smokes il
peace, the scarecrow attracting all tn
mosquitoes and other winged pests. In
cidentally he painted the head a flesl
tint the better to fool the bothersom
birds.
SS10
Be warned by the danger signal
which are plainly posted along life
way. On the morning of the da
preceding Christmas two young societ
gentlemen met down town. One toll
boastfully of the great time he and hi
friends had planned for Christmas
enumerating the many items of liqui
refreshment which were to figure /
the days festivities. The other cha
said nothing except to remark that h
had date and they separated. Lat
Christmas eve they met again and h
who had listened patiently to the 9th
, er's Christmas plans was inquiring tn
way to Fort and Hotel streets, thong
he stood within half block of the COZ
. ner he desired. He was also remark
ing that it was the quietest Fourth {
}. July he had ever witnessed. Inquir
developed the fact that he had, afte
| leaving his friend in the morning, pal
taken of gin cocktail, whisky cocl
tail, three egg-nogs, two glasses {
3, champagne, half a dozen beers, coup
d of WHISTLES neat, a gin ricky, a pair
8 absinthe suisesse, several scotch-anC
t, sodas, a little sauterne, a sherry-anC
5. egg, some more beer, another absinth
considerable punch and two martil
= cocktails. The friend who had planne
a Christmas celebration with his frient
after putting the jag in hack, tel,
phoned his fellow bachelors that l
had promised to take his sisters
church Christmas morning and .wou
be unable to meet them at the clu
This estimable young man took war;
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=. Foreign News