The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-07
"HOOT MON
When the. Mikado sang his song of

When the Mikado sang his song of
punishment with the refrain:
NV object all sublime shall achieve in time;
70 make the punishment fit the crime,
The punishment fit the crime
he doubtless had dim instructive idea
that he was stating the problem OF CIV
i ilization. We have never solved do IT.
When bank president steals $2,Ooo,-
600 from trusting depositors we fine
him 1920 and send him to Jail for ten
years, Wouldn It it be feasible to put
him back in business and take all ms
| profits for the benefit Of those he PUN
| dered? When man is arrested TOT
non support the court does seem 70
know how to make him take his wages
home. It fines him $50 and he goes to
and gets him out Of hook. How does
this help to put the family on a Car
negie basis9 It is quite evident our
lawmakers do not study their problems
or that they make too hard and fast
laws to hamper the judges in melting
out punishments.
Now there are evidently, some stu.
dents among r., the eanhy n.y. purgh ieas;n 90
upon the case of automobiles and
have at last hit upon a scheme Of pun
ishments which the Mikado would ap.
prove because it fits. ! When an auto
mobilist scorches over the roads. OF
Glasgow he has his automobile taken
away from him. The provost locks it
up and turns the key upon it for =, a
week or ten days according TO the
gravity of the offen1se II an lnalyut
, uual is caught scorching on the Harr1et
boulevard it does no good to fine him or
send him to Jail. Some one else might
n ,, use the machine while he was away;
6 ! But if the machine were captured ana
s locked up for two weeks it would tend
G to produce thought in the mind OF the
= owner, If this is impractlcable i, ne
e might at least be sentenced to run nus
r machine ninety-two times over tnae
@ nart Of the Hennepin boulevard which
t lies in the eighth ward.
Folks who have not become Injured
- a. to being killed in football Will be inter
e ested in Professor Camps exposition OF
e the new rules, designed to make the
|" game less deadly. The main features
of the new rules are, first, the shorten
ing Of the game by ten minutes, Whlch
= gives each player one more chance IN
four to survive. Second, prohibiting
y hurdling Hurdling is where the man 2
# with the ball jumps over the PACKS OF
s. his own team, and throws the p 200
h into the faces of the opposition. -, ms s
IS favorite act of manslaughter Will oe
# deeply missed in the new game: Third
r substituting the ten-yard for the I'VE
ward rule on three downs. Mothers
lg who witness the game will appreciate
D. the Importance Of this when they Sc!
Of Willie under two tons of man pretend
IL ing to breathe The forward pass Ii
Id calculated to enliven the game by CIV
or ing the runner a chance to get away
e. with his life. If he finds h1msel1 II
t. danger of immediate dissolution he ha'
nj the privilege to pass the buck to thu
Is next man. The Dumas musketeers hat
ne q theory that three must start In orde
st that one might arrive. 1t seems to d.
n so in football under the revised code.
- There are some sorts OF as -.rtlslns
us circulars sent out which are merel.
II, amusing Others have tendency t.
~ raise the temperature to LOB and pro
az ~ duce in the patient reader dangerou
u DETECTION toward a rash. One OF tn
latest of these is from bonding com
MS pany which puts it up to merchant
10 thus: .>-
III ers are solvent and will remain SO dul
"a Do Vol KNOW the inside facts abou
~, each one business7 80, 49, -.
we Do YOU KNOW that strikes, GRO
he failures, floods, financial stringency an
-. other business disturbers will develo
III. III during the year?
an If you know these things you, 9
e en course, know that you are hsble I
Ie1ss file an affidavit showing how muc
1la business you did every year from lSe
iat down, how much your loss was eveE
me wear and by return mail you will get
act neatly engraved bond indemnifying 70
DOT against your country merchant havin
AN trouble with hiswife or closing the stol
lug to go fishing. 1t is as easy as fal
ca ing off a log to do profitable bushes
'u 5 nowadays when you get bonds agaln
Jus It is wonder anybody takes the tro1
~. r. BILE to learn business for himself.
nj If Bishop McCabe is to be believe
ut, the missionary work Of the church
in Turkey has not been worth the none
re- He is reported as saying: 81 am as
os- general thing opposed to war, but I
di- like to see one more war-one again
Ter, the sultan of Turkey-and I'd like
al participate in it. d like to see Dewt
be with good fleet, sail up. the straits
till the Bosphorus. We don't want al
more such rulers as the sultan Of Iu
eo- KEY and the car of Russia. -
md What eatin' the good bishop? III
ng, the sultan poked a Methodist in tt
It'll. chest or turned his impious hal
his against a meek and lowly missionar,
!. It would seem as tho such talk wou
not tend to calm the sultan if he &c
a to hear of it. Imagine the Unspea
able one smoothing out his Sophia Ba
ner and running onto headline III
her this: -. ......s -. @.--
rect RISHop MccARE SAYS