davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
Gates as wclter Of Humor.

ON occasion John W Gales. the
stool, and turf plunser. shows a streak
OF humor Not long ago he was chat
ting with q number OF literary men.
among whom We're several humorous
writers. MI Gates said in q chatting
way. You fellows have no more
humor in yOu than stock statlstics
lll bacI, myself 10 write funny piece
against you an or course. the chal.
Icuge was accepted. thereuron each
competitor contributed his humorous
output. all the writings being submit
teJ 10 one OF The party for decision
The referee awarded The palm To- Mr.
Gates, whose effort was as follows:
~ hereby promise 10 pay Mr. Blank
tha sum of $50 for his time and
trouble go acting aa Judge TO this
dope competition The other com
potiiors unanimously coacurrcd in
the award.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
GRAND JURY WILL MAKE
SWEEPING REPORT TODAY

This morning certainly before noon
there will be a report from The grand
jury In the circuit court, and il can
be said with confidence that the re
port will be quite sensational. IN the
sense that il viii embody declarations
in which number Of citizens win
have deer concern
Details are not 70 bp had as na-
ter Of course, but il is certain that The
grand jury has done some very com.
preaensya work III respect to al least
one Of the evils Of which there has
been much just complaint by citizens
for some time past The reporf Of the
jury will be presented and read in
open court It will be somewhat longer
than usual, touching. as usual upon
the matters Of minor interest sach as
the condition of the jail etc. but il
viii tell also of unsayory moral con
ditions in the city and county and will
enforce It's recommendation in this
respect by number Of true bills in
which men are cited to answer the
charge of violating the statutes of the
state against gambling, keeping
houses, etc II is likely that
the entire list Of true bills will not be
made public until all the parties
named therein have been served with
warrant by the proper officers of the
court and here some difficulty viii be |
ne; with, as all the non-residents have |
Town TO parts unknown and cannot |
De reached. Some of the residents |
AVE also gone away and are waiting
LnXiously for developments. one of
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
LET The EX-GOVERNOR ANSWER

But for The Bulletins account Of the
Yates meeting al the court house in
this city, Hon. Dan Hogan might never
have learned just what the ex-governor
said about him. II was the only paper
that reported the most striking OF
the governors rather virulent speech
Even the stenographic report printel
in one of the other papers omitted this
part of what he said, evidently with
design. Hence il is not out of order
that the Colonel should make his reply
to Tho Bulletins account of the speech
And that the Colonel's reply is strong
no one who read In yesterday
Bulletin can question. Ii is not only
strong in its statements of fact. but
in its dignity as wen. in which re
spect it is somewhat superior TO the ex
governors speech, whose fervor leads
him at times into extravaganees thai
detracf materially from the general
force Of what he says. Surely The ex
governor can not afford to ignore Col
Dams reply
We do not care so much to know
why he appointed only one "colored
man" in Southern Illinois during his
four years as governor. and him to
the very lowly Though none the less
honorable) position of carriage driver
at the Southern Illinois insane asy
lum. Probably this colored man made
a very good carriage driver and would
have. been a miserable failure at al.
most anything else Nor do We care
50 much about the issue raised be-
tween the Colonel and the ex-governor
as 10 whether or not the former did.
upon a given occasion, permit his
1achrymal glands to assert themselves
rather TOO Spontaneously. Most Of
us who know the Colonel will hesitate
TO accept this story about him
even when it comes from so high a
source As an ex-governor Of Illinois
who is the son of a distinguished
father.
But what We would all wish to know.
and what the ex-governor seems in
duty bound to explain. is this:
How comes # that. though so poor
before ne became governor that
friends had to pay his railroad fare
in his canvass Of the state. he is now.
as reported. building fine mansion in
springfel and owns various railroad
stocks?
Why did be refuse 10 permit the IN
forcement Of the resolution passed by
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
THIS MORNINGS CARTOON.

The Bulletins cartoon this morn
ing touches again upon the subject Of
gambling IN Cairo, and, like the first
one of. this series, suggests what must
be 10 all right thinking citizens, the
most disappointing phase of all cru
sades against this eyil--the escape Of
some of the worst offenders Since
the grand jury has been in session and
The report has gone forth that ii would
inquire into this matter, there has
been an exodus from the city by all the
nonresident gamblers until there is
not one Of them left, and when the
grand jury's report is made this morn
ing and the warrants based upon the
true bills are placed in the hands OF
the sherlff's deputies. these officials
will NOT he able to find one of these fell |
lows and must be content with serving
only those in which the names of citi- |
zens appear
And this carpet has" brigade is
Away an evil TO whatever small an
extent il may preyail-its most often
siye form. They are the professionals
men who follow gambling rs a
means of livelihood, who have no in
erest in community beyond what
hey can get out of it by a few weeks
Dr. months Of residence, and who have
little or no scruples as to the manner
If getting t. They are often reckless.
y unmindi il Of the line which com
non prudence would suggest as the
INIT TO their lawless occupation and
always a profound contempt
'oT the opinions and The righteous
Indignation of people who abhor gamb
ing on principle and who strive for
he moral betterment OF the commm
ty in which they live.
However, the true bills found by the d
grand jury and the warrants that will
De issued upon them, will have salu- D.
airy effect even against these birds {
e prey on the wing, for the warrants Q
gill stand against them and serve to J.
,eep them away from the city, if prop =
r vigilance is shown by the officers.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

New Orleans. F. E. Creelman Lumber
and Manufacturing company Cairo. and
the Florida Lumber company. Mont
gomery Ala.
One Nashville bank is said 10 hold
over $4,000 worth of these notes. F.
NJ Creelmm acquired a controlling in
rerest in the Smith company last Sep,
temher, and two months ago opened
he New Orleans concern which. IT
was announced. was the head and
front of an immense consolidation of
lumber interests. 1t was in behalf Of
This concern, il is alleged. that the
accommodation paper of the Smith
company has been issued F. F. Creel-
man, ahO seems to be The principal in
the $l.000000 organization. is a Chi.
cago man. and he has been conspiou-
Gus in lumber companies in various
cities
Banks in Chicago, Defiance Q.
Philadelphia, Cairo, Burlington. Wis,
and 81 Louis are said 10 have con.
siderable of the accommodation paper
In several of these banks the Creel-
mans have interests"
News of the failure created some
thing Of a sensation here because
Messrs Creelman have long been wen
known here and the r. 70. Creelman
Lumber company has an office here.
IN charge uf Mr. Walter I 1'8yor ms
Cairo manager Mir Taslul .gJ- that
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

the State Board Of Railroad and Ware
house Commission, reducing the SEIZED
ule of freight rates on the railroads OF
Illinois by 20 per cent? Why did he
cause this seemingly very beneficent
order TO be revoked2
Perhaps the former qnery does not
concern the public very much and we
will not insist upon a categorical an
swer 10 IL; but to the latter the ex.
governor should make a particular and
detailed reply, for 1t concerns the peo'
pie of the state very deeply.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
Cot Record Premium for Gold.

William Thompson. who died the
other dsy az Shelbyvilie. ind aged y.
was known as the man Who sold his
gold at se75." During he civil way
Thompson accumulated $1,000 ia gold.
which he carried Pc Indianapolis and
sold at a premium OF s275. netting him
$685.. within DO cents ol the highest
price ever paid Tor g0id-Chicaeo
Chronicle.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
Not Enough Present.

"IIi. there. youse two," yelled the
steyedore. handle shat gunpowder
CAREFUL
WHY ." demanded the two handlers
In chOns.
Don't you know some o. that same
powder exploded a couple % years ago
an bloved 40 ten men,
Wei" replied one OF the workmen,
"shurc thot couldn't happen now.
There's only two OF as here"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
Very Low Rates South February 9th
and onll

Very Low Rates South February 9th
and Goth.
On above dates round trip Home
seekers tickets, limited 10 81 days.
win be on sale AZ very low rates 10
many points ON the Nashville. Chatta.
nooga and ST. Louis Railway in Ten
nessee, North Alabama ana Georgia,
one Of the most prosperous sections
of the south Liberal stop-oyers all
lowed. Round trip rates from cairo
WiH be - per cent. less than the one
way rate. cairo to Tulahoma, Tenn,
uad return 50. Think Of IL! Cali ON
your home agent for information or
write to r. G. Cowardin, W. T. A.
N. c. & ST Il. Ry National Bank Of
Commerce Building, St Louis, Moo.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
Notice to Contractors.

TO The contractors of Cairo, I'll. We
the Hold Carriers Union No. q, Of
Cairo, H., do ask for an increase in
vase to Poe per hour for brick ca,
riers and 2Slac per hour for mortar
men, and viii furnish hods, hoe and
shoyel hours shall constitute a
days work and will come in effect
April lst, l9oG. Please notify us soon
as possible
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
VII Turn Down eollt.,ian.-

Bird S. colef. Who sill be president
Of the borough OF Brooklyn ior tie
next four years. says chat of The S..
900 voters who elected hIm So 600
cared nothing for the usHHfa-
between leaders and Roull.be leaders
In different party organizations Con
saquently De will consider The wishes
Of the 5000 and conduct DIS once
eithout regard 10 The wishes of the
politicians
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
The SHIP SUBSIDY GRAFT PASSED

The Bulletins dispatches this morn
ing tell us that the ship subsidy bill
was passed by the United States sen.
ate yesterday the vote being IS to q
five Republicans voting with the
solid Democratic delegation in the
negative. The bin will so 10 the house.
where it will doubtless be. forced
through also, under the speaker
gavel if necessary.
The advocates Of this measure have
for years exploited the commercial
needs that would be served by it. but
they were met with so much force of
logo from the other side that they
We're compelled to abandon this line OF
argument and resort TO that Of the
lingo" which always appeals to the
minimizing.
According 10 its advocates the bin
means that the government shah pay
about forty million dollars of the PEG.
pies money in order that the American
nag may float upon the merchant YES
sells Of the seas and in order that we
may have vessels in which 10 carry our
troop 10 foreign lands in case of war
Glorious is il not? To have 22S YES.
sells Of not less than 1000 tons each. 10
carry our troops to foreign lands. But
why carry our troops to foreign lands?
What can our troops do in foreign
lands toward protecting their country
IN time of war? And how far will
paltry slOO000O0 20 in this direction.
when distributed among a lot Of hun
cry benehciaries during a period of ten
years?
1t seems safe to say nat this is but
another first step toward a system
which like the protective tariff. VIII
breed and foster another litter of in
fants' that will grow to gigantic pro.
portions with appetites that will be
always clamoring fos
more, and will never cease TO claim
the protection" Of the government
at whatever cost TO the people.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

John Hawkes.. a Cincinnati lumber
man who arrived ON ihc new turbine
liner Carmauia has completed ia
voyage across the Atlantic. or COS
crossings lie has enjoyed the IN
lHIal opportunity of crossing me At
.auiic GA ihe initial trips Of five Gu
uard steamers-the Batavia. Rothnia.
scrvia Lucania and Carmania Mr.
Uawkca is known among travellers as
che Old man Of the sea"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
Wireless Records.

Wireless telesiaphy broke It's own
record again when the operators at
Colon overheard" ;he conversation
That too& place one evening last
month between tho stations "a, Mauha.-
Gan Beach and Pensacola .ae total
distance covered in the circuit being
more thau 2o00 miles This record
is all the more remarkable when it Is
remembered hat The distance cover
90 by The first Transatlantic cable was
only J,SGi miles.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
prin,ess 80. $50 70 -.

The king OF SaxoHy's sister. Pfin-
tess Matilda. assembled the cupola OF
ST. Peter az Rome, and added her
came 10 the list of royal personaees
ho have performed the feat o. was
only with difficulty that she was per
uaded not to follow her fathers ey-
nple IN climbing into the oyerhang-
s1e lels. e h..ht OF sgs feet
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

The above il correct statement of
the circulation of the Cairo Bulletin
for the month of January, 1906.
CLYDE SULLIVAN,
Business Manager.
Subscribed and sworn to before me
this End day Of February, 1906,
(Seal) LEO J. kLEB,
Notary Public.
My commission expires January l6,
1909. .as
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
The AHss.Le-a.e s-l-h.,

Capt RAaH. ODE uaH British naval
attache at Washington. quoted. at a
sale Of Autographs. g. '.t-.. f..t Nary
Lamb once received from "a butcher.
Miss Lamb" DEE said. -selt fa the
butcher for roast of mutton. and re-
cciyed in reply.
Dear mem am sorry have not
killed myself this week. lut son can
have leg on by br0thes Your AZ
fecti0nate Butcher"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
sun1lv - Frceeds Demand.

Lord Palmerston was regarded in
his day and generation as an eXcer-
tionally able man. Here Is one Of his
sayings '-The world has never had
enough of--and Is always willing 60
pas for-intellisence. hOzesty. cour-
age and perseverance. an common
.aines. yet th= supply never exceeds
tho demand
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

while Gen. Bmeerc. commander of
the French ARMY was under fifteen
DAYS arcs, in Paris he WAS not per
mitted to leave his quarters on any
pretext except TO transact official bust
ness af ihe Ea- oGice mish nos wear
his sword and could receive no WISH
tors But in consideration Of his
hieh rank no sentry vas placed over
hin,
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

Mr. Jolley-lJs easy ta obey the
biblical Injunction when ones neigh
Dor is pretty girl.
Miss NeNdore-But, surely it isn't
easy for yon.
Mr. Joliey yes. / refer TO the
command 10 Love thy neiehbor."
Miss NeXdore-Yes but the com
mand is really Love thy neighbor as
myself"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
Aslatics overrun Natal.

English inhabitants OF the Trans
gaal are much worried over the in
crease ia the Asiatic elements in the
population. AIfaaGy in Natal The ASH
ai.es oItnumte- she Europeans In
Natal. too the white retail trade has
been almci eliminated as o result Of
AsIalie competition
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

Mrs. OF Miss or Mr.. 80 and 80 fell
and sprained or broke an arm" is ai.
most a standing line" In the daily
papers these days in connection with
accounts of skating rink events; and
Cairo has had its share Of this sort
OF thing But the skating rink has a
long way 10 go before il can compefe
with foot ball and the quantity of
healthful and innocent amusement il
offers is greatly in excess Of the harm
il does.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

II The sign cards in the street cars
were made TO read Smoking and
Splitting in this car are strictly Pro
hibited' instead of rs" strictly pro
hibited, they would be more gram
NAUTICAL. but they wouldn't offer quite
as much food for reflection to the
average reader. And food for reelection
is what the average patron Of the
street cars frequently needs.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

The Bulletin 10 on saIs nj the fol
lowing places:
CcIeman's, 214 Eighth street.
Halliday Rouse news stand.
Walkers, 10 Sixth street.
Blue Front Restaurant.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

We are authorized to announce DR..
E. !. Cause Of Unity. rs a candidate
for reelection to the office Of County
Commissioner of Alexander County,
subject TO the decision OF The Republic
can Primary Election.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
FOR County Superintendent Of Schools.

We are authorized to announce
JOHN SNYDER as candidate for re-
election to the office Of County Super
intendent of Public Schools, Of Alexan-
der county. subject to the Republican
primary election to be held April 70.
1906.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

How cold is it when it is twice MS
cold as two degrees above zero?" The
question is as puzzling to the average
mind as "13-14-1J." or How Old L
ANN Observer Smyth could throw
some light on the subjeet-for he was
first to spring" it in Cairo: hut
don't ask him too numerously. for
be has other fish TO fry"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

Lyons. 10 ;he valley of the Rhone
iH France g. the largest silk manu-
featuring center FOO The world. rrolrc-
.rs annually about s5o.O0o.0c0 WORTH
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

Fifty-three different people with
fifty-three different wants are renrc-
tented in The Peoples c. mn Of
The Bulletin. on page ;, this morning.
This class Of advertising represents
the small daily wants Of the people. IN
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
20 cuRE a colo IN oNE pAY.

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets
Druggists refund money If il falls TO
cure. 2. ". Groves signature Is on
each box. 25c.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
ANNOUNCEMENTS.
For Sheriff.

We, are authorized to announce Il.
]. HODGES as a candidate for sheriff
Of Alexander county, subject to the
decision of the Republican primary
election.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

which all are more or less Interested.
and II deserves careful daily perusal
from an
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
CIRCULATION STATEMENT.

Average daily and Sunday circn-
larion for year 1905 ..,,,., 2128
Average daily and Sunday circn-
latlon for the month of January,
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15
For County Commissioner.

We are authorized to announce DR..
T.. J. DUNCAN of Tamms, as a candi-
date for County Commissioner of
Alexander county, subject to the decis-
ion OF the Republican Primary cleo
fion.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1906-02-15

these latter, temporarily located II
81. Louis, called up by long distance
telephone last evening to know what
had been done. and II II would De
safe TO return, He said he was willine
TO take his medicine in the way Of a
fine hut did ROT care iu % Nhiaotod
- Tire annoyance ~ tthi III "ould
plead @Wlty aul pay up aa lb@ ti
probably b the course persisted by ali
the g. ideuts Who are less fortunate
than the trausieuts, ia that they can
NOT eyade the process II Is moi likely
that any Of the residents named Ia
the grand iurys report will make
a contest: aud any expectation OF sen
sational proceedings in court. beyond
the mere presentation and calling or
The cases viii be vain Pleas at guilty
viii probably be ne ord The de-
PENDANTS will quietly pay Whatever
fines may be assessed against them
and so their several ways poorer. bur
wiser, men
Nothing was done in the clrcuit
court yesterday. In compliance with
Geographic request from Judge Dun
can yesterday morning. Sheriff Roche
adjourned court until this morning,
when Judge Butler will be here to
preside. Mrs. Duncan is still too i'll 10
permit the Judge TO leave her, which
Is matter for general regret among
court attendants who have the pleas.
IRE Of knowing The Judge.
The pert jury will be on duty this !
morning and the civil docket will be !
aiken mp
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1906-08-31
For Sale, Wanted, Etc.

w. M. Duthie has dwelling house
to trade for cash, lumber or corp wood.
Wanted: A girl to do general house
work. For particulars address Mrs. J. P.
Duthie, Pullman, Wash.
Strayed-One four year old black
horse. Return to or inform J. G..
Liner, Jansville, Idaho, and get reason
able reward.
WANTED by Chicago wholesale and
mail order house, assistant manager
oman or woman) for this county and adj
joining territory. Salary 500 and
expenses paid weekly; expense money
advanced. Work pleasant; position per-
manent. No investment or experience
required. Spare time valuable Write
at once for full particulars and enclose
self-addressed envelope.
Address, General Manager,
1874 f. Lake St, Chicago.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1906-08-31
The End of The World

Of tronbles that robbed E. H. Wolfe, OF
Roar Grove. Ia, OF all usefulness, came
When he began taking Electric Bitters.
tIa writes: 1.-TWO years ago Kidney
,rouble caused me great suffering. which
7 u'o,Id never have survived had | not
~, Electric Bitters. They also cured
van 81 General D .bility." Sure cure for
ali Stomach. Liver and Kidney com
nlaints. Blood diseases, Headache Dlz-
ziness and Weakness or bodily decline.
price SOC. Guaranteed by the Nlty
Drug Store.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1906-08-31

Cord wood is coming into Troy at
rate that gives the town the ap-
pearance of something doing"
Thousands of cords of good wood are
shipped from this point every year,
and there is material to keep up the in
dustry for another quarter Of century
at least.
Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1906-08-31

Those who feel little dissatisfied
with Latah county will do we'll to read
carefully the statement OF Z. W. Asp
Iund published in this issue Of the
News. Mr.. Asplund has returned to
Trov we'll satisfied to Locate here per
manently. He is now Of the opinion
that this is the best country on earth.