Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1906-08-02
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HyMoR FROM FRANCE.

IL as not as can be,
Pele Mele: Profcssor--Tell me what you
know OF sodium chloride
tStudent remains dumb.)
Professor--Tell me what you know OF
common salt, then
Student-Salt is that white stuff which
makes food tasteless when you don't put
any in it.
Figaro: How ugly that Leblond woman
Yet she was beautiful once, so it APP
pears"
so it no longer appears, you mean''
Hire: She-How can you say I'm pretty :?
I know very we'll that I'm old. l shall
soon be quite gray, and look, hero is a
wrinkle.
Wrinkle? Never That's merely the
trace left by your dimply smiles.
Sourirc: Belgium to the Fore--A num-
bar of commercial travellers We're telling
tales at Toulouse cafe. and the good
Southerners We're telling fairly tall ones.
When the conversation turned to wonder
full echoes Il Belgian could stand 1t no
longer and burst in with: Everything
you have been telling us is very small beer
In the Bots de la Cambre at Brussels We've
got an echo that's truly marvellous. If
you shout out. How are you, old fellow?'
tho echo will Immediately reply, Pretty
we'll, thank you. +"
Bon Vivant: Stuff and Starve.-Tenor OF
Operate companN-llow sad is life. Here
lam earning 3 fracs Il day, and must
spend to STUFF out my calves if they are
to be anything like presentabe
Figaro: Old bus horse to his compan-
ions. after sadly contemplating one of the
new automobile buses: II tell Won over
and over again, that all this wouldn't have
happened if We'd only had the sense to
form q labor union"
Rire: The Humorous Janitor Would Be
Tenant-Yes. this little fiat is not bad. but
1000 francs is somewhat dear Haven't
you anything under that?
Janitor-1hcre is ,.se cellar. .,r!..:
Sourire: First Raw Recruit From the
Country-I've got letter from my broth
er, who says he is travelling. and l am to
reply, but he doesn't give any address.
Second r. R.--You fool. write him at
once and tell him to send you the address
by return, of course.
Journal Ausan.: MIR. Newton Cat an
art sale. indignantly)-Thes people have
got plenty Of cheek. They call this a
collection" Of pictures. and 1 haven't been
able to discover Two alike.
Pele Melc: "Where are you off to In
such a bury = zRe;1s alEsDs-s.a
IN the doctor. for my husband
What's up with him."
He tells me he has got hepatitis, dys-
pepsia, rheumatism, nephritis and cerebro-
spinal meningitis
Holy terrors. Where did he get all
that9" ---'~.'.-s<.e sss.: asssss ,ass,xsrxxs !.
-.-Why. man induced him to buy a
medical dictionary, and he's just begun
reading it,
Pele Mele: stingy Patient (anxious for
his doctor)-Now, tell me, doctor, what
do you do when you have n cold?
Doctor mot to be caughtl--What do I
do? Well. my dear sir. when / have a
cold. cough, just simply cough.
-tssGI.s .sesjSeasz1Hss..ss,-.--
Pele Meie. Al the sgmetery gates. SYM
pathetic friend to Mr.. Stngy. who has
just buried his wife-Now, my friend, you
mustn't give way to grief like that. You
must think of the future. You must get
over this and marry again.
Stingy-Of course, ] must. I've still
about 300 visiting cards printed, Monsieur
and Madame Stingy." and il l do not
marry they'll be useless.
Pele Mele: Kind hearted old gent to
beggar-What did YOU do, my poor friend,
before you were blind"
Beggar-- What did | do? Well, sir. be-
fore being blind / was deaf and dumb.
Ioele Mele: Eve very hard luck this
week. Six of my patients have actually
decided to get we'll
Wen. it's your own fault. Instead of
visiting them twice thrice a day. you
should leave them alone and go off in your
automobile.