Gilpin observer., 1906-02-01
Phone, Central 106
OPTIGRAMS

on crutches.
1t requires frenzied financeering for
man to acquire s750,000.00 worth liabili-
ties, with no assets.
In changing his suit, that Seattle man
who was recently fenced to serve one
minute in the penitentiary, had to hurry.
About the time man begins to be
popular and beloved of his fellowman he
usually spoils it all by going into pol
itics.
When her husband comes home with
his breath smelling of gum she is pretty
safe in assuming that there is something
back of it.
Do not accuse fellow of dying his
mustache just because it happens to be
darker than his hair; it is generally
about twenty years younger.
Vivisection-A recent dispatch states
that company has been formed in Chi
cago whose object shall be to bury poor
people on the installment plan.
The fact that there are over S3OOO,OOO,-
10000 in the pockets of the American
people will cause some of US to wonder
whether we are not foreigners.
Two new problems-A Dakota ex-
change remarks that the three scarcest
commodities of the present day in that
section are turkeys, apples and hired
Egirls.
Family refections-If every member
Of the family did not wait for some other
member to get up first they would not
all be trying to use the mirrow at the
came time.
They say the hottest mine in the world
is the Comstock, at Virginia City, Ne
vada, i.ltho' Central City man insists
that the baby mine up to his home is
pretty warm thing.
Having survived the constant attend
ance of three eminent physicians for
nearly month, the statement that King
Edward has naturally robust constitu
ton can hardly be doubted.
When man with good healthy wife
is compelled to get up before daylight
and milk cross-eyed, bow-leggeo old
COW, it is about time existing social con-
ditions were being changed.
Two big jobs-If the Senate commit
tee on inter oceanic canals carries out
its threat to thoroughly investigate both
the canal and Mr.. Taft, it had better roll
up its sleeves and go to it.
4luA
Brown Potter wants the other one to
pay her S25O0OOOO for the use of the
name verifies the truth of the proverb
to-wit: "a good name is rather 70 be
chosen than great riches"
Egyptian quail are quite popular at
after theatre dinner parties in New York,
and doubt some of the other things tnat
get into the 400 stomachs would be in
teresting enough to make the average
American quail.
Arizona Sharpshooters The editor of
the Fangs says that cigarette iiend is
held in high esteem down there as com
pared to the individual who is unable to
make an inverted funnel serve the pur-
pose OF the Office cuspidore.
A farm journal says "A cabbage head
hung ur so the hens can just reach it
will furnish them needed exercise" but
in their daily rounds, the average local
hen is able to keep up the circulation
without the aid of special appliances.
That Illinois farmer who claims to
have exterminated over 300 moles dur
ing the past year is an uncle to the
Grand junction girl who deprived her
self of fourteen warts in three weeks, by
rubbing them each day with piece Of
fresh beef.stea
A $4,000 rooster. At a poultry show
in Minneapolis recently fancy rooster
valued at $1,000 innocently swallowed IA
$4,000 diamond dropped within its cage
by an interested visitor. II this rooster
should keep company with the proverb-
ial hen that laid the golden egg, the Off
springs would no doubt be JEWELS
At recent art sale in Paris, Fragon.
ards celebrated painting "Le Billet
Doux, was purchased for an American
multi millionaire, at sS5, ,00000 and this is
but one of a number OF this artists paint
ings for which fabulous sums we're paid
at this sale. Insomuch as these pictures
we're "done in oil' the average citizen
will readily guess who the real purchaser
il. II John ID. would contine his ener
gies to securing expensive paintings, and
quit disbursipg o cent oil in bright red
wagons at ~ cents per, piping times for