The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-12-07

Twas tn OF gag iv the confidence
ma-an," said Policeman Flynn In tell
ing about it, "but tn felly from tn
country was sorry FIR him, an ne says
to me, bein' in bit iv doubt from all
he'd hear-rd iv city ways: If you
was me- he says, what w'u'd We do?
An | says to him: If was you,'
says, I'D ha-ave guardeen app'inted
an thin hire a guide An he whit
awa-ay ma-ad.
"But tbs tn women gives me tn
most throuble. Ohio! tn women!
Nine out iy livery tin iv thin is lack
in NERVE or ilse sinse. Wan iv thin
shteps out fut or two an thin r-runs
back Thin she thries it wanst more,
an It's up to me FIR to iscoort her
acrost. TIL mkt wan ducks her head
an goes like chicken crossin' q
r-road. caught wan iv that kind
yisterda-ay whin she was r-runnin'
Fright under pair iv prancin'
horses. Dye think ye're a bir-rd?'
says l, that We can shpread ye-er
wings and ma-ake a straight line?
An instid iv thankin' me she whit
AWAY ma-ad, too"
OF course, in time the fame of Po-
liceman Flynn's methods and COM
ments reached headquarters, owing to
some complaints that were made, and
he was given quiet reprimand
above all things you must be cour-
teous, he was told, and, with his GUS
tomary desire to master completely
anything that he undertook, he went
out to buy book on etiquette. This
was his undoing, for it is indeed wise
man who knows how to utilize the in
formation in such a volume He fol-
lowed the instructions implicitly, and
many woman wondered at the elab-
orateness of his bow and the tactful
nature of his reply when he was asked
to do some absurd thing entirely out
of the line of his duty; for women are
occasionally unreasonable in their re-
quests of the guardians of the law.
He even kept his temper and acted
with creditable discretion when he was
asked to run back a block or two and
see If he could find the lap-dog a wom-
an had dropped out of her victoria.
But the etiquette book was responsible
for his Waterloo, nevertheless, and
the night he was sent back to patrol
duty he threw it in the fire before even
explaining the matter to his wife.
Twas all along iv thryin' to be po-
lite an tac'ful," he finally explained.
What's polite an complimentary to
an akel is praysum'tion to a soopeer-
yer. Ye see, twas this wa-ay:
gir-rl-oh, a fine-lukin' gir--rl iv 10 or
2O-got mixed up bechune two teams,
an was like to be r-run down whin I
saw her. Twas no time to think iv tn
Wa-ay to get her out. Amy wa-ay all
was good wa-ay, an l gr-rabbed her
r-round tn waist an carried her to
wan side. oh, sir she says whin she
got her breath back, how can I liver
tha-ank We? Ma'am,' says /, liftin'
me helmet an thinkin' iv tn book on
manners, TIL pleasure l says, is all
mine Sir she says, givin' me hity-
tity lux an shpeakin' cold, 4 will see
that We are ray-warded.' 'Ma'am,' SAYS
l, tn mim'ry iv tn hayward I've al
ready had will go with me to the
gra-ave."
What hayward had we had, Bar
ney?" inquired Mrs. Flynn.
"She asked me tn sa-ame QUESTION"
said Policeman Flynn.
An what did We sa-ay to herr"
II says to her, Ma'am,' l says. bow
In low like tn pictures In tn etikit
book, it's worth more than tn r-risk
/ r-run,' I says, 'f'r to have had SIGH
a beautiful bundle in me arms"
(seIMoa 81 udssof 40 sosI 'ausII6doo)
Copyright, by the Century Coz