The Delta independent., 1906-07-27
PANAMA CANAL PARODY
Satires of Work on Isthmus En-
liven Gridiron Club Dinner,
WATERWAY A SUBJECT OF M1RTH

IreSluent ROOSeVelC tnreW DIS ueA0
back and sent forth a stentorian roax
that dominated 200 other laughs hardly
less in size. He did it not once, but
many times. 1t was at the recent din
ner Of the Gridiron club at the New
Willard hotel in Washington, and the
cause Of the presidents mirth was the
fact that he and his administration
and, above all, the Panama canal de-
partment Of it were, roasted to the
queens taste, says Washington spe-
cial dispatch to the New York Times.
Next in size was the colossal laugh
Of Secretary Taft whenever the club
demonstrated in Its most convincing
manner that he and his canal were not
what they were cracked up to be. As
for Secretary Root, he did the best he
could, but with hundred or more lsen-
ators, representatives, cabinet officers
and newspaper men shouting around
him it was difficult for him to hold his
own with such voices as those of Taft
and Roosevelt.
The dining room was transformed
into Panama for the occasion, and the
club and Its guests marched in singing
these prophetic words to the tune Of
when Johnny Comes Marching Home:"
Were going to Dig the big canal.
Hurrah! Hurrah! =
We're going to dig the big canal,
Hurrah! Hurrah
In Panama We work tonight:
Wen do some dh;ging before it's light.
And there'l be more shennnigan
When the dirt begins to fly"
Before they got Through they had dug
the canal and flashed upon large
white screen n picture showing the
completed enterprise, and with it por-
trait Of President Roosevelt, wearing
n venerable white beard and appar-
emily n century old. This was one Of
the things which brought forth that
presidential roar.
First Of all, after the guests had ar
rived they were marshaled into COM
panies. Instead Of going into the din
ing hall in the usual way, procession
was formed. 1t was headed by Lieu
tenant Santelmann and the Marine
band, all done up in beautiful white
uniforms and looking as sumnaery as
could be. Then came President Roose-
welt Of the United States and President
Richard Lee Fearn of the Gridiron
club. Following them marched the
musical members, clad in working
mems blouses and carrying real picks
and shovels. In the procession were
ambassadors, cabinet officers, senntors
and representatives, railroad presi-
dents-all following golden gridiron
held aloft. Mark Twain kept pace with
the rest, as lively rs a boy. Associate
Justice Brewer, sedate and ,digniHed.
was by his side.
AS the band played the members and
the guests made their devious way
through a serpemine aisle of palms.
rubber trees, banana plants and other
tropical vegetation, SO thickly placed
together as to make fascina ting illu-
sion Of jungle. Everybody In the
march to the banquet hall JOINED inithe
chorus:
We're going to dig the hg canal,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
1t is really n mlstnke to say that'ths
procession entered the banquet hall It
emerged from the tropical pathway up
on the plaza Of Santa Anna, which. rs
every one knows. is the pubic p,srk Of
Ne isthmus city. The street signs hung
here and there announced that 1t was
ahe plaza Of AnnA, which was evidence
enough; but, in addition to this, the
room was set with towerings,cocoanut
palms, with banana trees bearing
punches Of real fruit and with other
appropriate decorations in Yich profu-
sion. All the acts wepe arranged as II
they were occurring in PanamS, and
everybody referred to Washington as
some faroff. distant city.
The elimination Of the seyening twas
the one act drama, entitled "Pohters
From Panama; or. How, We.Could DO
1t II We Had a Glance" The guests
were brought face ITO face with this lin-
teresting and veracious, production BY
series Of easy ytageA Early (in tthe
evening one of the club metnbers\ \came
in, walked around the plazh and dis
tributed with great prodigplity huge
wads Of stnge money. He lighted Z
cigar with thousand dollcr bill add
scattered bits Of money on tlke floor.
what does this exhibition .mean1"
asked President Fearn.
Il hm giving an initiation oflthe Pan
anna canal commission wash the SOL
emn reply. and the laughter that fol-
lowed showed that the, guests appre-
ciated the situation. Then followed
this chorus:
Oh. shonts and Stevens and, oil the <bunch.
Hurrnh! Hurrah!
Will have to get an extra hunch
In Pan-a-fna!
We've got the shove1s. we've got thesstuSH.
And all can SEQ we've got men enouHh
To dig-dig-dig-dig
Here in Panama.
Another member Appeared with .
large telescope and seemed ITO be, study.