The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-04-28
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she-I wonder what aiiment the
kissing germ causes. Hs-Palpitation
Of tho heart Chicago News.
"Have you met him sociallyT Dear
me, no. Only In a business way. I
married his daughter.
Wlgg-Do you believe that every
man has his price7 Wagg-No. Lots
Of men give themselves away.-Phila-
delphia Record.
"You two are thrown together q
great deal. aren't you?" "You bet. We
ride home on the same car at six
O'Clock. "-Cleveland Leader.
Ethyl-Did Annette get anything out
Of her breach-of-promise suit? Babette
Nothing at all; the man decided to
marry her.-Detroit Free Press.
Harduppe-If you will let me have
flyer l shall be everlastingly indebted
to you. Miserleigh-Yes. that's why I
must decline to let you have it.-Town
and Country.
Are they college menr mo; mere
" college boys. Just freshmen" "Ah!
they're not the finished product !"
mo; merely 'Rah material. "-Phila-
delphia Press.
Citrate (who Is going to describe his
little holiday in lovely Lucerne)- My
dear friends-I will not call you ladies
and gentlemen" since I know you too
veil. Punch.
Little Boy-My mamma has so much
money that she can buy everything she
wants to. Little Girl-Thats nothing.
My mamma is so rich she can buy all
the things she doesn't want.-Puck.
Women don't have logical minds 7"
said Shrewd bluntly. They don't need
them IL they're as lucky as l am" said
ais wife sweetly. You see, have you
think for Detroit Free Press.
eyes," she sneered, during one Of
their frequent Quarrels. II married you
for pity, and now" You don't
get any," he interrupted. "for all our
friends lavish it on me"-Philadelphia
Press.
Cadley-NO: he isn't In our social set
any more. Wiseman-SO understand.
Cadley-Yes, he dropped out some time
ago. Wiseman-Why. he gave me to
understand he climbed out.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Teacher-Johnny. for what Is Switz-
erland famous? SchOlar-Why-m'm
Swiss cheese. Teacher-Oh. some
thing grander. moro impressive, more
tremendous. Scholar--Limburger p
Cleveland Leader.
Jmes-There are some queer turns
In life. Jinks-I know 1t; turned up
at girls house tonight, got turned
down and turned out, and now I'm go
ing home to turn on the gas and turn
in.-Town Topics.
Gaston-I tell you, old man, Miss
Watkyns Is mighty sensible girl-the
most sensible girl, think. I ever knew.
Alphonse-I think you're right, my boy.
I wouldn't advise you to propose to her.
-Somerville Journal.
'Say, did you hear that Cholly Soft
ed had had serious operation per-
formed on him latelyY' what was it,
Appendicitis" "No; worse than that.
His rich uncle cut him out of his will"
Baltimore American.
Mrs. Crawford-It's strange where
all the dust comes from. isn't it? Mrs.
Crabshaw-Yes. indeed! As far as I
can see, the only thing around the
house that doesn't gather dust is the
servant.-Harper's Bazaar.
what was the most important bill
you ever had anything to do within"
asked the interviewer. "The bill that
did most for me-" answered Senator
Sorghum. "was a bill for services rem
dered. "-Washington Star.
"You are an angeli" the young man
declared. Nonsense" retorted the de-
vout high church damsel. do you
know that the foremost religious digni-
taries have decided that there are 10
angels of the female sex?"-Pittsburg
Post.
Elderly Man (greeting former ac-
quaintance)-I remember your facs
perfectly, miss, but your name has es.
capped me-" The Young Woman
don't wonder. 1t escaped me three
years ago. am married now.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
II would propose to you, but fear
the effects of the excitement. When I
am excited my heart beats SO family
that 1t is scarcely noticeable. well.
you know what the proverb saysT
''What proverb" "Faint heart never
won fair lady."-Cleveland Plain Deal
err.
Judge" said Mrs. Starvem to the
magistrate who had recently come to
board with her. "I'm particularly anx-
Ious to have You try this chicken soup"
II have tried it" replied the magis-
trate, land my decision Is that the
chicken has proved an alibi. Phila-
delphia Press.
Mr.. Browne regret to say, dear,
that concerning that birthday gift
I promised you-er diamonds are up
4, r,rinn nouw hiOhor than cou .<p--A