Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-05-27
Agreeable Intercourse

Agreeable Intercourse
between people living under the same roof
carnot be maintained without a certain
amount of form and ceremony. In fact.
good breeding is dependent upon it, Where
ever there IS too much freedom of conduct,
friendship and mutual good will are apt
TO suffer
The vicar of Wakefield recognized this
fact in regulating his little household and
Insisted that the family on arising in the
morning should assemble in the common
apartment which we call the living room,
and salute each other with proper cere-
mony.
II is Difference to such little practices
as this that smoothes many of the rough
places of every day life and gives the hall
mark OF a refined. well regulated family.
OF course. the home is the place where
many Of the formalilies of society should
be laid aside. If such Were not the case
there would be little rest for the weary
ones within the shelter of its walls
but where all conventionally is dispensed
with there is sure to arise a tendncy in
some of the members of the family circle
TO underestimate the rights of the others.
md ia the course of years it will mean that
one part Of the family completely has sur
rendered their rights and privileges to
some one member.
Nothing will forestaIl this tendency to ap-
propriate to ourselves all the privileges
and immunities that come from intimate
companionship like a few set ceremonies
that every member Of the family is ex-
pected to observe. 1t answers the same
purpose that the hit does in the horses
Touth-it turns US back in the right direc-
lion.
One OF the commonest fatings in the
home life Of today is the complete stlbiec-
uot' of the household TO the viii and ideas
"l some one member The one who thus
walks ruthlessly over the rights of the
eUefs seldom is aware of the fact. 1t is
hahit hat has grown from many years
cultivation. and Vet no outside person can
enter the home without recognizing this
state of affairs.
Sometimes it is the father who feels that
MS Importance as the financial head of the
family makes every one else's place in the
family circle sink Into iusignificance A
visitor INTO one such home remarked that
she was glad she was not a daughter in
ihai nome for as soon as the father en-
tered the house every member of the fam
fly rushed to wait upon him. One daughter
took his coat. another moved his chair in
tie proper place, and the wife anXiously
hand.
i Is quite possible and perhaps just as
often the case that the mothers comfort is
sex has a monopoly of the selfshness, of hu-
man nature. The brothers sometimes
tyrannize over the sisters and the sisters
over the brothers. But Ii is mutual rights
that should be given IN the home and
proper courtesy will help to give them.
There is Nothing
that 50 forces itself upon the notice of
others as the disposition to indulge in
needs. We may he fighting the outside ex-
hihition Of 1t, but the fact still fs patent
To every ore There is subtle something
that speaks to all We meet of our mental
state. If we are happy part of tile ex-
hilaratiOn Is communicated: if we are
gloomy the cloud is plainly discerned One
gloomy person IN Il small company com
pletely can change the spirit of the whole
gathering and work destruction to It's en-
Joyment.
II Is this fact that has made II impera-
tive that no one should inflict d lit OF the
blues upon company. If not in
sufficient control of our mental condition
TO contribute our share toward the pleas
u'es or the gathering we should stay at
home.
But better than isoIating ourselves on ac-
count Of depressed spirits Is the fortitude
TO ward off such condition Once it was
thought sufficient Il We managed to sup
press the word or deed that gave outward
expression of our melancholy state but now
our higher knowledge demands more of us
1t asks that we preserve a mental poise
that Is neither unduly elated over good for
tune nor much depressed over Ill.
When the condition called melanCholia Is
an7Iyzed IL can he summed up as phase
OF Selhshness that takes consolation In
nursing Its wrongs. II Is a elf-eVideut
fact that the most urseIfsh people are the
most cheerful. They are so busy trying 70
make others happy that they have nc time
Tor morbid iGtrospection
Neither are the people most addicted 30
The blues those that have the hardest trials
% overcome. Often they apparently have
fewer Their trials are either imaginary
ones or made 10y their own unfortunate at
tltuds toward the rest of the world
The time may not be yet when we can
find any one that has never succumbed to
depressed spirits. but Il is possible to so
guard against such a condition that We
may work toward the desired end
Every one has trials. We can't escape
them So the best thing we do is TO
flnd an antdote that will brace up our
spirits that we can come through them
smiling and cheerful.
RECONSIDERATION Is fact Of everyday life
We Impress our mental condition upon
every one we meet. L is for this reason
that people given to the blues" sedulously
avoided and that cheerful people con-
stantly are sought for their consoling I'M
fuence.
The mental poise described by Browning
when he said. God In His heaven. all s
Well with the world is the that can
carry us through the hardest of trials or
the most petty with equal serenity.
Useless Repining-
over the material things that we do not
possess has been the cause OF as much I'M
happiness In the home as any one thing.
All this arises from false idea OF values
Every one in the business world knows
that when he invests heavily in stocks that
have a fictitious value his fortune Is wreck
ed-he becomes a bankrupt. But Il Is hard
TO convince the denizens of the home that
there is just much danger of their In
vesting their all in watered stock and that
the result Is just calamtous
There is an innate desire In all rational
beings to be surrounded by those things
that are pleasing TO the eye The love or
the beautiful is God-given quality with
out II our homes would fall far short of
the artistic standard that they now an
proach, and we. ourselves steadily would
retrOgrade toward the savage state
1t is when put a fictitious value on the
material things that compose our surround
ings that work destruction TO our hap
piness and our best interests
Cfenevieve becomes aware that her home
is not furnished in the costly style OF a
number of her companions and school
mates. She Is invited into these homes
where the costly furnishings and the cere-