The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-08-20
AGENT THREW A B1UTT.


 The shabby fringy sort of down-and- Iout-entered the office of the busy real estate man in hesitating kind of way. Clearing his throat .so as to attract the attention of the hustling man at the desk, he began:
 Sir, I have here"-
 Fave, hey?" broke in the real estate man, without so much as looking up from his7desk-hed seen the shabby man out of the corner of his eye when the laser entered the office, Well, I'm mot buying any Complete History of the San Francisco Fire and Earthquake to-day. Wouldn't have time to cut the pages if l bought it. Too busy. don't--
 l But" humbly cut in the shabby man 'this sir. is''-
 "Oh, it's The Lotus Land of Hawaii, | in eight numbers, four bits a number, | is it?" interrupted the real estate man. | Well I don't want that, either. My wife can buy all of that kind of junk that can dig up to pay for at the fiat. couldn't use"
 But, sir, you are quite mistaken. I here"-
 "Oh, now I've got it." broke in the real estate man again It's Celebrated Battles of History illustrated by not ed artists. But. nox. My librarys all filtered up with celebrated battles al- ready. Nope, and don't want any con- 1 tinuous performance series of Studies from the Nude by eminent French painter persons. l may look as if I wanted that, but I don't. Nor can you sell me any series of Eethchings in Hol- land -two-armed windmills and stag nant looking streams never did make much of hit with me. I don't see''-
 sir, you are in serious error, and if you will be good enough to give me just minute of your time l will show
 "Oh, it's patent trousers stretcher, is 1t? Nix. Can't see my way to buy I ing that, either. I like baggy-kneed trousers. Wear em Just to be odd, Any idiot can wear creases in his trous- CTS, but 1t takes man of nerve and individuality to wear em baggy, Not trousers stretehers, either, eh? Then 1t must be preparation to re- have warts moles, etc. Never had a wart or mole in my life Anyhow, I'm a heap busy. Not a wart remover? Well you couldn't club me into buying an adjustabe lamp chimney cleaner nor q patent improved eggbeater, Neither one of those, you say? Then what in the''--
 1 T was going to say remarked the shabby man, pulling a large, fat lok- ing wallet out if his breast pocket, be fore you bertayed a seemingly uncon- trollable inclination to work in all the cheap book agent and other agent wit ticisms out of the comic suppliment that as l was passing down the hall min Iute or so ago I found lying close to your office door, this wallet, which con- tains a matter of $354 in currency and a number of pay-to-bearer checks for considerable amounts. 1 intended to hand this property over to you, but I am now sure that 1t doesn't belong to you; and, moreover, you're a whole lot l lOO gay lO DC iIuSItu NltI oO lAihNll ftAi V enough wealth. I won't apologize for taking up your time, for the shoe is on the other foot-your inopportune fun lniness has already consumed more of Imy time than I can afford to waste, " and the shabby man was out of the real estate mans office in three digni- fled strides.
 T couldn't have sold that geezer any goods. anyhow unused the shabby man as he walked down the street, switching the patent lawn mower sharpner that he carried in the other Ihand, land 1t does me a heap O good to put on the sandow vest myself oc- casionally especially when run into Iwould-be fly guys like that one. don't often get a chance to become chesty, and it sure does me good. d."-Washing- ton Star.