The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-04-03
HUMOR or TIE DAY

Il AVMOk< Or TIE DAX
ant again The last time I was the~e a
nan got my overcoat and left his in my
n, Welof[mBut the proprietor wasn't to
aardup-No. but might meet the other
nan.-Tales.
Bessle-Oh Tommy! Ny new baby dolly
- almost human When I squeeze her
5aS esglns 70 cry and when put her TO
DeQ s{5 closes her eyesi
IonTny-Huhi Shed be more human II
sne. closed her eyes when you walk the
lloor Walh her and began to cry when yts.
put her to bedi-Puck
am hurt mere than you" said the
father when punish you my SON and
thereat the boy raised his head as he sob
plngly said; Wen, there's some consola-
tlon IN that '-Womans Home compan-
What IS your idea of success?"
Success" answered the cynic con
sisfs in making enough stir about your
acnleVements to cause your failures to
DC overlooked Washington Star.
Parson- Good morning. Mrs. stubbins.
Is your husband at home?
MIS-. Stupoins Changing recently patched
sir. but 'e's a-bed. no o9'
Parson-How is it he didn't come to
church on Sunday2 You know we must
have our hearts in the right place
Mrs Stubbins-Lor, SIR. is carts all
right It's is trouzz.-Punch.
'Of course" said the gossip, .I don't
know anything certain about her. but then
one can put two and two together and
make four
yes" replied Miss Champion, meaning
ly, some people can put practically moth
ing together and make mischief. '-Phila-
deiphia Press.
>. =, u
He is going around sideways.
got that habit from slipping between tbs
furniture.-Puck.
well. Lent is approaching. I suppose
you'll go into the usual sackcloth and
''TI go into sackcloth all right enough.
but with the coal going up in price don't
know that can AFFORD real anthracite
who is that dusty chap in the blue
That's our leading author"
why, he doesn't look literary"
Not now; he's spendin his vacation
diggin wells for a Twin. Atlanta Con-
stitution.
Shell suppose you would have me be-
neve I am the first woman yen ever
He HeINot at all. I've loved scores of
women, but you are the last one / have
she-Very well: then I'll say: Yes
As long as I am the last one you have
loved weH get along all right.-Boston
Transcript.
William consulted fortune teller
last night, and after had crossed her
palm with a dollar. she predicted that
Mary@what a waste Of money could
have told you that for nothing three
months ago.-Brooklyn Citizen
Mr. stoplate-That song always moves
Miss Tersleep-r I'd known that I'd
have sung It an hour ago.-Cleveiand
Leader.
casey-The docthor seq what I hov is
'1nsomny-'
throuble meser an there's only wan cure
C casev-whst,s thot? What dye do2
Cassidy-Jisht go to sleep an furgit all
about it.-Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Bridev-N1rs. Naybor gave me =
rerine today for q fruit cake and made
one It win keep for three months
Mr. Bridey-Yes. dear. it viii, so Tar as
I am observation-disclosures Press.
The Doctors Daughter-Papa, can you
ax dolly? / operated on her and all her
utensils are coming out-ldfe.
I.awson-vyhat did your wife say to you
when you got home last night?
Dawson-Sav! She said an 1s-vOlume en-
clopedia.=Somervill Journal
whats your advice, Miss Paisley Do
Won think mustache would be becoming
70 why vi not rent one and see?'-cieveland
Plain Dealer.
sfSay. paw
ssTVeTI son?'
whats eTsdcT"
"a critic. son. is an artistic knocker--
Milwaukee Sentinel
"a Chicago professor says that vegeta-
ton has sensations the same as human
beings" a..
Good gracioust FTe ought to tell that to
+y,e z1segas ia nslss-C1eveland Plain Dealer.
ssshe's really cultured. She saws she can
not understand Browning at all
Out one may be cultured ana YET not
understand Browning.
"Of course one may not undersLsnd
#. hut one should never admit it-''-Phfl-
adeYphia Ledger.