The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-25
With the Long Bolu
Eye natures walks. shoot folly as ii fIes"
Doctors of Philosophy PhD's with the Right Gut OF
Whiskers Who in Times of Stress Throw an Intel
IS lectual Shoe and Hasten for the Materialists
Z as It files"

He careless world feels that man who totes
around the letters PhD after his name, and
y = wears his whiskers right ought to know some
thing pretty useless. So he does. Harvard turned
out fair string of Ph.D. IS this year. and here are
OF the SUBJECTS on which they threw blaze of
light in their graduation theses:
Studies on the Nuclear Cycle Of Gonionemus
Murbachii Mayer The Concept of Quantitative
Equality GA Plane for Thermodynamic Cyclic
Analysis, " " The Longitudinal Vibrations of a Rubbed
String The Visual Cells in Vertebrates Chiefly in
Necturus Maycuosus, - Couture Studies Of Hymen-
omycees, - The influence Of Selection on Color Pat
tern in Guinea Pigs and Rats Derivatives Of Sub.
stituted Orthobenzoqunones,' brilliant Points
Contributions to the Cytoogy Of the Entomophatho-
racae,' and 'Greek Proper Names in Old French ;,
The list is democratic The careful man who rubbed
the string and then passonatey studied it's longitude
nal vibrations touched elbows with the mighty genius
who traced the substituted Observation-Disclosures 10
their lair and rived from them their astonshed derva
tives. =
Then there Is that concept of quantitative equality
that carries with it the appercept that every quantity
OF the same size equal to every other quantity of
equal size These mighty problems firmly met
osophy should indeed be safe when it is doctored nv
men like these.
Yet We hesitate to yield full mental assent to hav.
moment Suppose the busiest Phi the lot is sud
denly confronted at by the mighty world
Ing paralytic problem of eolicky baby Everything
is Jared for block around, and the baby fuv
aroused to the charges of graft and neposn In his
interior department. is letting loose like fiddler
Here is chance for the D. to trot out his wisdom
and give it taste of the fresh grass Here oppor
tunty for the Longitudinal Vibrations of the Rubbed
String to show their worth in crisis Let the
.Thermodynamic Cyclic Analysis' right out and
What's thisa Nothing do1ngs Father charging
nereey for the doetorP Well WELT Possibly phi
losophy, even to its DOCTORS is applicable to the
great problems of life. Then it, or some of it. to the
scrap heap while begin to try to learn how to live
without throwing shoe getting warts the mind
Fhe uncertainty Of life is again brought forcibly
to notice by the death at Madison Wis., Of the .Eu-
man Fly Charles Bliss well known generation or
so ago by his and startling trick Of walking the
ceiling In those days, when people less anxious
to see their entertainers done to death by looping
things and turning somersauts in automobiles Bliss
trick of walking up the side of room and over the
ceiling was considered an epoch making affair.
Now Bliss is dead. Father Time spread sheet
of his celebrated sticky ypaper on the table and the
acrobat carelessly aghted on it and was soon seen
strong up the golden Streets For it can hardly be
supposed that ne would carry his accomplishment with
him and attempt to walk the ceruean vault of heaven
body flies ~
bliss 80 years of age at the time of his death
He had long ago left the ceiling exclusively to the
flies and satisfied to sit comfortably in his arm
chair and recall the gay days Of old when he strolled
around the chandelier and kissed his hand to the up
girl may now be grandma, but you ask her about
the Human Fly and her face lights up She remem-
bers
The Waa Walla (Wash.) Bulletin has a. little
knock this week the pastor because that gentleman
spoke from the sacred desk slightingly of marriage
The Bulletin says:
''What toboggan slide from the Sermon O1ivetic
to this sample of sensational slop! Talk about the
theater! In comparison with such rot the vugarites
OF the vaudeville harmless pastimes. The married
clergyman who will argue against marriage while sv-
" insnuating that there viii be rows at home may
be noted divine, but he is certainly bum husband
-
The Kenmare IN. d. Journal says it has heard
Of looping the loop and shooting the chutes but adds
that farmers at Glendale getting their sport by
soo1ng the $780, all because Of prairie fire.
- ~ .4
Representative Shells of North Dakota has snf-
fered In silence for years because of the name Of
Halt Pint Shells given him by people who OBJ