Alaska sentinel., 1906-11-15
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What happens when people fall in love at first sight?" Usually marriage and second sight"
 Do you think be will make her a good husbandT No, I think she will make him a good husband" She-Sir, If you attempt to kiss me shall call for help. He-For help? Why, my dear girl. I am capable of do- Ing 1t alone Answers.
 Candid Friend-You will have to work hard to win an heiress. Impe- cunious One-I'll have to work a jolly sight harder still If don't-Tit-Bits.
 Mrs. Aijen-Oh, really, that's nice {! age? Mrs. ng-Well-er-he said you were always very careful to conceal It.
 Jason-Many wise word Is spoken in jest. Mason-Yes; but they can't compare with the number of foolish ones spoken in earnest-Cassell's Jour- nal
 Hello, old man, and how do you en- joy married life, eh? Ever have any differences of opinion with your wife," "Yes, but I don't let her know about them"
 Father (sternly)-So you've failed again in your examinations How do you explain that! Son-Because they went and asked me the same questions as before.
 Customer Cat bookstore)-Have you work on the art of letter writing? New Salesman-No, sir. I should thlnk you could learn that at any correspond ence school.
 Fred (sadly)-It's no use. I told your father that I couldn't live without you. Edith-And what did he say to that? Fred-Oh. he offered to pay my funeral expenses.
 She-That's all very pretty, Jack but do you think we can live on love and kisses: He-It's much the sa6est everything else Is either adulterated, or poisoned. or tainted-Life.
 What are you going to call your versesT asked Joakley. "'A Broken vase,'" replied Rimer. "Ah! that re- minds me of a little thing a servant girl of ours dashed of the other day"
 She-And are you really so much better since you returned from abroad? He-Yes. I'm quite another man. She Well. I'm sure all your friends will be delighted to hear 1t! And be is now wondering if she meant anything.
 George-The ring doesn't seem to fit very well, Clara. Hadn't I better take It back and have 1t made smaller? Clara-No, George; an engagement ring is an engagement ring, even if had to wear 1t around my neck.-Tit-Bits.
 Father Cat head of stairs )-Ethel, what time is it? Ethel Gin the draw ing room)-Its a quarter past ten. father. Father-All right. Don't for get to start the clock again after the young man goes out to get his break fast.
 Lalrd-Well. Sandy, you are getting very bent. Why don't you stand straight up like me. man: Sandy-Eh. mon, do you see that field O corn over there! q do." "Weel, yell notice that the full heids hang down, and the empty ones stand up."
 i've come to the conclusion" said the mild pessimist, that l must have been born great" You don't sayf re- marked Sinnickson. Yes; at any rate there doesn't appear to be any chance of my achieving greatness or having it thrust upon me-"
 A certain popular preacher Is very absent-minded. One day his wife came into his study crying in agony. "Oh! I have swallowed pin." He smiled ten derly Don't worry. my dear" he said, as he fumbled at his waistcoat, here, here Is another pin!"
 She-Here's an interesting story of a man who begged to be sent to prison in place of his wife. He-Aha and yet you always declare that men are never self-sacrifcing. She-Well, this mans wife happened to be washerwoman, and if she went to prison he'd have to work.-Smith's Weekly.