davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
TROUBLE BREWS FOR
ONE WILLIAM |. NOLAN

William I. Nolan, the well-known
Minneapolis humorist, is liable to be ar
rested the first time he shows himself
on the street or in public place. :
The charge against "Bill" is not
known unless it is linguisticide. There
has been no complaint filed against him
with the authorities, and it is asserted
that the grand jury has not been asked
to consider charges against him. Not
outstanding these facts, the storyteller
is in imminent danger. There is self
deputized stranger on his trail who as
serts thta he will Gland him sure"
The stranger happened into the sher-
ifs office few days ago, and his at
Hrogue s gallery of which the office
boasts. He was looking over The many
pictures and descriptions of criminals
wanted in various parts of the country
when his gaze was suddenly riveted to
a large portrait of Nolan under which
some joker had pasted in large black
letters Ss0ne Hundred Dollars Re-
ward.S' ~ -.
"Why, I know that fellow re-
marked the stranger as he thoughtfully
scratched his head. ''Of course, I've
seen him lots Of times. Say, I think L
can land him.
'That s a good regard" remarked
Chief Deputy Arthur Z. Jones, who had
been watching the visitor.
81 should think so and l might as
we'll have it.. I'll land him. The
last remark was scarcely audible as the
stranger was we'll out of the door before
it was completed. He rushed out Of
the courthouse and was away up the
street in his quest for easy money.
The practical jokers are awaiting re-
suits
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
BIG BUSINESS

Some conception Of the volume of bus
mess transacted by the big life Insurance
companies may be derived from a state.
ment for the Metropolitan to the effect
that there. are in the employ of this com
pany about $4,000 persons. If one adult
breadwinner represents five individuals in
the total population, nearly 100000 per-
sons are supported by this institution, not
in insurance benefits, but in payment for
services to the company.
More Imposing still are the figures as
to the number of persons insured The
policyholders number more than eight and
a half millions, which equals the com
bined population of eight Of our largest
cities In other words, If the company's
policies now in force were all placed in
New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, Boston,
st. Louis. Cleveland, Cincinnati and Mil
Waukee, every man, woman and child in,
these communities would have one. This
may seem incredible, but it is on the, au-
thority Of the company itself. There are
those living who can remember the time
when the whole United States could hard
ly have supplied so vast number Of In
surable persons. During tho past year.
insurance claims were paid to the amount
of Sic. 100000.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
TALKS ON HOLY LAND
Professor Robert Turner Entertainl
Large Audience at st. Stephens.

Professor Robert Turner of Boston
gave the first of series of lectures
upon the Holy Land at the Church of st.
Stephen, Clinton avenue and TWENTY
second street, last night. TIE audience
was so large that it taxed the capacity
of the church.
"The Way of the Cross,' was the
subject of the lecture and the pictures
shown were views in Jerusalem, Naza-
reth and Bethlehem at the present day
and in the time of Christ. The Jordan
river and the Dead sea were each made
the subject of a special series of pic.
lures.
During the lecture Miss Frances Hor-,
gan, Mrs. David German and j. B. Cor
man sang '.The Holy City," "Ths
Palms, and Jerusalem, Ny Happy
Home.' as illustrated songs.
The second lecture of this series,
which is for the benefit of ST. Stephen s
parish, will be given this evening on
'sFrom Shechem Valley to the Golden
Gate Professor Turner has been on
the platform for thirty-one years and il
probably the oldest stereopticon lectur-
er in the United States.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
President Hadley's Comparisons.

ASSAuCAV 1AdOACy VVAupQA !oOAS.
President Hadley Of Yale defined
football recently as a major sport, II
like deep-sea fishing, hunting big game
and yachting. He defended it on the
ground that there were fewer deaths
in the game in proportion to the num-
Der of combatants than in any Of the
other major sports.
President Hadley, we suppose, is an
authority and has the right to classify
major and minor sports and put foot
ball in competition with north pole ex-
.peditions rather than pugilism or base
ball, but there are some who, not know
ing his authority in the matter, will
deny this classification. Football is
played upon land, mans natural ele-
ment. It is, therefore, not to be COM
pared in hazard with yachting, in which
man takes the ocean risks as well as the
competitive chances. Again, football
is not to be compared with deer stalk
ing, since there are no weapons in the
game. It.issplayed with. the bare hands.
There should be no comparison Of the
risks in a game played in an open field
by men who have prepared for it, and
the sport of hunting bears or lions,
where the hunter takes the triple risk
of shooting himself, being shot by a
companion, or being killed by the
quarry. Such disingenuous or ill-diges
ted illustrations do not help football
They rather make people more suspi
5cious Of it, since such strained compari
sons appears to be necessary in order
to justify it at all.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
City News
RAILWAY ASKS DELAY
MILWAUKEE, ENGINEERS UNABLE
TO PREPARE PLANS FOR TRACK
Z Observation-Disclosures ONE
MONTH.

At the request Of the Milwaukee rail-
way officials yesterday afternoon the
special council committee on grade
crossings took another adjournment for
month, by which time the plans of the
railway, which were expected yesterday,
will be presented. The meeting viii
be held on March T.
The aldermen are becoming some
what FESTIVE over the repeated delays
and made some sarcastic remarks about
adjourning for year, but it was ex-
planned that the present delay was una
yoidable. When Mr.. Rinker's plans
for the elevation of the entire Miiwau-
kee track system in South Minneapolis
was received, both Assistant General
Superintendent .. D. Sewell and Engi-
neer M. D. Rhame were absent from the
city and did not return until this week.
1t had been wholly impossible to pre-
pare plans in the few days at Mr..
Rhame's disposal and he asked for an
other month.
James =. Record, president Of the
Minneapolis Steel & Machinery COM
pany, addressed the committee at some
length on the effect the adoption Of the
city engineer S plans would have on his
plant. 1t would be serious matter to
his company as the officers in locating
the plant had never contemplated that
SiSf otiOh "Outu CADcHQ UG-
yond the. Milwaukee shops. Already
ther had been invested more than
100000, and he did not see how the
plant could retain it's trackage facilities
| OF the tracks were raised at Lake street.
Andrew Rinker, city engineer, pro-
| nounced the Lake street crossing one of
the most dangerous in the city The
completion of the third interurban line
by way of the Lake street bridge. and
the great increase of street car traffic to
! Wonderland and st. Paul, had raised
| this thorofare to one of the most
important in the city, and it was out of
| the question to consider any general
| plan for the elimination of grade cross
1ngs IN South Minneapolis unless Lake
| street were included.
Mr.. Record invited the members of
the committee to visit the plant and the
aldermen agreed to do so after the Mil
waukee road had submitted it's plans.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
Lawson's Spectacular Fight.

e Tom Lawson, Of Boston fixed his Min {
nesota fences yesterday and vanished
again over the eastern horizon. AS gen
eral in command of the revolutionary
pohcyholders, Thomas is leading siren
uous existence and occupying his full
share of public attention. H..
Lawson claims to have enough prox-
les already in his trunk to control the
coming meetings of the New York Life
and Mutual Life, but he is afraid this
control will slip away. Lawson is a
good buffer. He can look with a pleas
ant smile from behind an unsuccessful
flush, and he may not have the majority
he claims, but, he is putting up asfght
thatHwill keep the controlling interests
busy. His latest general order is to
give no more proxies, but for each pol
ing in person and draw mileage from
the private purse Of T. Lawson. If
Lawson has control now, and no more
proxies are given, ne will remain in con-
troll, and his tactics seem well consid-
cred, but his scheme Of having $4,000 or.
meetings seems ridiculous. Every one
of them has a right to attend; there is
no question about that. Every policy
holder has vote, but it is physically
impossible for al to take indffvf duaff
part in the deliberations of asshiig conass
pany. For thatsreason The term 'mass
tual' has been farce in the past, be-
cause the ruling powers merely collect.
ed proxies and voted themselves a per-
petuity in power It is this difficulty
the Chicago conference encountered,
and the solution suggested there was
to divide policyholders in jurisdictions
and have meetings in each s. district,
electing a representative to take the
proxies of all the rest and vote them.
That is precisely. the plan of the fra;
ternal insurance companies, which are
truly mutual as a rule. An army Of
policyholders too large to mobilize
would not accomplish anything, y ~ !
Lawson is running his own fight, and
no one will criticise his methods If he
wins. His fight is one for reorganiza-
tion and publicity, and. for restoration
of funds that have been Wrongfully di-
verted in the past. The policyholders
have a right to know If there has been
such wrongful diversion, and there can
not be too much publicity. Whatever
his personal motives, the tendency OF
his efforts is for public good. In, his
effort to give the poGcyholders them
selves control of the companies he has
the country's best wishes. 49,.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
MARX. TWAIN INTERPRETERS
THE RATCHET TRADITION
Humorist Takes Up the Case Of George Washington
and the Cherry Tree; Also the Case Of John D..
Rockefeller Jr., and the Uses of Neracity.

who had chance to tell a lie and didn't.
Il admire old George-if that was his
name-for his discernment. He knew
when he said his son couldn't tell lie
that he was stretching it a good deal
He wouldn't have to go to John d. Rock
efeller's Bible class to find that out The
way the old George Washington story is
handed down, it doesn't do anybody any
good. 1t only discourages people who
can tell lie."
His Interest In Poets.
Mr.. Clemens said he always had taken
an interest in young people who wanted
to become poets. He remembered that
he was particularly interested in one
budding poet when he was reporter on
a newspaper This young poets name
was Butter. Mark was out of job, and
Butter came around to him one day and
said disconsolately that he was going to
commit suicide; he was tired Of life, not
being able to express his thoughts in
poetic form. Butter asked Reporter Glenn
ems what he thought of the idea. Said
the speaker:
II said it was a good idea. You can
do me friendly turn. You go off in a
private place and do it and Til do as
much for you sometime. .
The speaker said he told Butter how
he would write up his death; how he
would make a spread Of it: how it would
appear on the first page of the paper.
I cheered Butter up so that he went
off in a joyous frame of mind to kill him
self"
Both Were "Rroke."
Buffers idea was to kill himself with
a revolver, but Reporter Clemens and the
poet didn't have enough money to buy a
revolver, and the reporter persuaded the
| poet to drown himself Drowning is SO
nice and clean and writes up well In a
newspaper: ~ SO Y - scsa :. ~
But said the speaker, things meier
do go smoothly-in weddings, suicides or
courtships. Only there at the edge of
| the water where Butter was to end him
self lay life preserver-a big, round
| canvas one, which would float after the
scrap iron was soaked out of It," -.-..
| Butter wouldn't kill himself with a life
| preserver in sight and Reporter Clemens
| had an idea. He took the. life preserveI
to pawnshop and soaked" it for a re-
volver.e The pawnbroker didn't think
much of the exchange, but when Clemens
explained the situation to him he acaui-
| esced. Then the reporter and the poe,
| went up on top of high building, and
| this is what happened to the poet:
| He put the revolver to his forehead
and blew a tunnel straight thru his head
! The tunnel, was about the size of your
finger. You could look right thru it. The
| job was complete. There was nothing
/ in it. -, So ...-
''Well, after that concluded the hui
| morist, that man never 50 could write
prose, but he could write poetry There
isslots of talent all over the country, bu
! the trouble is they don't develop it,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
Diverting Funds.

Congress Is beginning to discover
that a limit. on an appropriation bill
does not limit and a direct appropria-
tion does not direct. The army de-
partment, it has been discovered,
diverts great deal of money from the
transportation account to finishing up
barracks and other buildings in way
which gives great delight to the archi-
tects and landscape artists of the de-
partment, but which was never contem-
plated by congress. Now it , is the
navy's turn to come to the front and
congress is Investigating a. report that
the millions appropriated last year for
repairing hulls were not used for re-
pairing bulls at all, but went for other
purposes.
It may be said that there is no dis
honestyssin these transactions because
no money was stolen. It all went into
government work. There is, however,
dishonesty in these projects which will
evidently lead to stealing in time. Con-
gress appropriates money by law, not
merely by a process Of bookkeeping.
These laws are made to be obeyed and
when they are twisted out Of their
legitimate meaning violation of law
occurs. The navy gets money for the
repair Of the vessels and machinery of
vessels and the department. finds it has
more than it needs. Does it leave the
balance untouched in the treasury No
tt diverts the surplus to some other
work for which congress has appro
priated tooTlittles or FOR which it has
made no appropriation at all. The wal
department. takes transportation money
and makes 81 cover the grading OF
grounds about new buildings, thus
adding to the cost of the building which
congress said should cost not more than
a certain sum. ssyss
t is evident that congress can keep
Ino track Of it's business if this system
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
Journal Special Service.

Journal Special Service.
New York, Feb. 8.-Mark Twain was
the guest Of honor at dinner given last
night by the Press club and the Manhat-
tan Dickens Fellowship in the Press club
rooms to commemorate the ninety fourth
anniversary of the birth of Charles Dick
ems. In the course Of the dinner Mark
expressed his opinion on the competency
of John D. Rockefeller, Jr, to instruct
his Bible class on the subject of veracity.
He also aired his thoughts on the general
subject of lying.
am" said Mr.. Clemens, Suffering
now from the fact that I, who have told
the truth good many times in my life,
have lately received more letters than
anybody else in the world urging me to
lead righteous life. have more friends
who want to see me develop on a high
level than anybody else
Young John D. Rockefeller, two weeks
ago, taught his Bible class all about
veracity. Some of the letters l have re-
zceived suggest that 1 go there and learn.
too. Why, know Mr.. Rockefeller, and
he is a good fellow. He is competent In
many ways to teach a Bible class but
when it comes to veracity he is only 35
years old. I am 20 years old have been
familiar with veracity twice as long as
he has.
| <AiO 0SOFSG
"And the story about George Washing
ton and his little hatchet," continued the
speaker "also has been suggested to me
in these letters in a furtive way, as If
needed some Of George Washington and
his Ratchet in my constitution. Why.
dear me, they overlook the real point of
that story. The point is not the one that
usually is suggested You can readily see
that. The point is not that George ga id
to his father, Yes father, cut down the
cherry tree, cannot tell lie but that
little boy only years old should have
his sagacity developed under such cir.
cumstances. He was a boy wise beyond
his years. His conduct then was the
prophecy of later years. Yes I think he
was the most remarkable man the coun-
try ever produced-up to my time, any
way.
Little George was keen enough to re-
alize that circumstantial evidence was
against him. He knew his father would
know from the size of the chips that no
full grown Ratchet cut that tree down,
and that no man would have haggled at
| it so. ls-s. ~, .~.-E..'
Everything Against Him.
'Now, then, George-little George
knew that everything was against him;
| he knew his father would send around the
| plantation and inquire for a small boy
with a Ratchet, and so he had the wis
| dom to come out and confess it. Now
| the. idea that his father was overjoyed
| when he told little George he would
| rather have him cut down 1000 CHERRY
trees than tell lie Is all mons ense. What
| did he really mean? Why, that he was
absolutely astonished that he had a sor
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
SENATE "REEks WITH aTERRAPlN,,
Chicago Journal.

There is a mythical story Of Marie
Antoinette in the flush of her prosperity,
that, being informed that the people had
no bread to eat, she replied well, then.
let them eat cake Something Of the
same spirit Of cynical arrogance appears
in the senate's attitude toward the pure
food bill One can imagine some pursy
senator, reeking with terrapin and cam
vasback, replying to statements that the
peoples food is being poisoned with
some such remark as Marie Antoinette's
The French had no means of resenting It
but revolution. But the American peo-
pie, in spite of the 1neekness with which
they have submitted for some time to the
senate's domineering, course, are the mas
tiers Of the senate. and they will exercise
the mastery if they are exasperated much
further.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
Bailey and the Caucus Gods.

The racking which Senator Patterson
bf. Colorado is receiving from his dem
Dcratic colleagues because Of his admit
ted intention to bolt his party caucus
and vote for the Santo Domingo treaty
illustrates in the comic state what
might in the event of the democrats
becoming ma ority of the senate be-
some tragedy. The comic element is
supplied by the spectacle of twenty
democratic senators attempting to rule
The foreign policy Of the country. The
pathetic side Of the incident is the elab-
prate preparations made by the demo-
pratic senators to 'overwhelm a member
Of their own party. Senator Bailey is
set up to make one of his characteristic
speeches, and, at the proper moment
springs question whether Mr.. Patter-
son has not at one time voted for the
two-thirds rule in caucus: Mr.. Patter-
son does not recollect the fact. Mr..
Bailey with studied politeness is about
To waive the. point when Senator Gull
berson comes forward with the &C miss
ing papers,, typewritten report of
bhe democratic caucus Of 1908, which
contains Mr.. Patterson s discriminating
vote How handy that Mr.. Culberson
should have kept the caucus proceedings
In his desk for three years and to just
happen to find it when it was needed
TO show up Mr.. Patterson.
It seems melodramatic and prear-
ranged, and after all, what does it
amount to9 The treaty is not a party
question, and even if Mr.. Patterson had
entered democratic caucus on the tar
LIT three years ago, it does not follow
that he is bound forever on all sorts of
questions. To admit that, is to deny
the individuality Of the senator. To ad,
NIT it is to deny a favorite democratic
doctrine that senators are the repre-.
sentatives Of sovereign states. If they
are, how can they be bound by eau
eus9 Can sovereign barter. away his
sovereignty? Can twenty sovereign
states exercise sovereignty for thirty
three? s<. s=s S.
The temper Of the country is against
caucus and boss rule. They are very
much alike. They override the minor
ity, not because it is in the wrong, bu
because they are strong enough to do it
{ The doctrine of caucus dictation had ,
great vogue in the politics Of this coun
try since it was introduced and propa
gated by Sam Adams. Congressional
eaucuses originally selected the candi
4 dates for president and vicepresid lent
they decided all questions Of policy il
either branch of congress. The system
vas seized upon by the slave-holdins
Element in the democratic party AM
tsed to protect, defend and expand stha
horrible institution 49,
Early in the last century the peopl
look the selection of their president IN
10 their own hands thru representative,
conventions. They have been iabbin,
It the caucus system ever since, ant
lave succeeded so materially in weak
ming it's hold upon politics that part,
aucus is. seldom called in either hranc1
is the congress today. The democratic
! aucus on the Santo Domingo treaty j
Ia anachronism, It belongs to til
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
THE MINNEAPOLIS JoURNAI.

is permitted to continue. It will soon
be in the position Of the man who gave
his wife $50 and a book in which to
keep an account of her transactions.
He received at the end Of the first
month the luminous statement: S Re-
ceived Of Henry, $50; spent It all. S.
The departments never fail to spend it
all nor fail to ask for a deficiency APP
preparation.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08
Get RuSy.

The busiest man in town always uses
The J ournal's want columns when
he wants anything in a hurry, and his
wants are promptly filed. That the
thing for you to do when you have a
want. It's the only way to speak to
thousands of people at a trifing cost.
You can't afford slow way. in this
hustling age.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08

The Unique is winning, large audiences
TINS week with the Buckeye trio of COM
edy ,acrobats; Annie Leslie Williams, e'the
little Dutch girl and Floril1a Sanford
the pretty maiden who plays the cornet
TO TO peat the band. Eva Lumpkin has new
Illustrated songs this week.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08

The Ohio legislature is puzzled whether
to classify the lobbyist as criminal. It
is safe to classify him as a person cap
able Of becoming a criminal or of max
ing you one.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08

The senate is said to be much annoyed
by the people of the United States. BY
carefully preserving the status quo the
senate gets even by costing the people a
vast amount Of money
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08

Most public treasurers still cling to the
theory, that interest on public funds is a
very uninteresting subject of discussion.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08

means Of photographing thought has
been discovered. but it is believed that
the courts would protect Hi Rogers from
appearing before the machine. His
thinks might tend to incriminate him.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08

There is no question but Boni will be
seriously damaged BY the withdrawal of
his Wife's income. y,sr "a :, I.-@
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08

lsfed with the title of coach any longer.
He wants to be known as an automobile.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-02-08

The shah of Persia sent Miss Roosevelt.
a pair Of socks knit by himself. Dear old
shah, he was always practical and help
full in his gifts. *