Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1906-05-05
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Lots wife was turned to salt"
Eyes, that's what woman used TO
get for being too fresh "-Phlladelphia
Bulletin.
Lngs u see the Society News is
taking only millonaires' sons on their
board" sort of putting on heirs, aren't
they Princeton Tiger.
Lottie-I have such dread of grow
ing old. Pshaw! l haven't
Iottie No, l suppose you've got past
that Cleveland Leader.
His Securities Did you succeed in
raising anything on your promise to
payT' "Oh, yes. succeeded in raising
a smile" Baltimore American.
The Modern Way-"There goes the
richest man in our city" Pays more
taxes than anybody in town, eh?"
''lNell, he lodges more. Pittsburg
TuSt
Come back for something you've for
gotten, as usual?' said the husband.
No replied his wife, sweet,y; I've
come back for something | remember
ed. - New Yorker.
Look pleasant, please" said the pho
tographer to his tmore or less) fair sit
ter, Click ITS all over, ma'am You
may resume your naur2l expression"
Cleveland Leader
4 Definitions Tom What did yoH
understand to be meant by the word
"ennuit" Ethel-It means that one
does nothing ana is too tired to stop
Woman'S Home Companion.
"Bnkins is the most fortunate man
In his love affairs | know Of" why
So:" Three women have broken their
engagements with him at the very last
minute, Milwaukee Sentinel.
OF Course Here is 'Santo Domingo
on your bill of fare" said the guest.
"What Is that, cigar mo. sir" re
Piled the waiter "A 'Sauto Domingo
IS Il very warm stow. - Chicago News
Piggmus ! had two articles in the
newspaper yesterday. Dismukes-Es
that so? | didn't see them Piggmus
No; they were pair of old shoes I
was taking to be mendcd. Washington
Life.
Self Approval why Is the doctrine
of the survival of the titteSt so pop
ularf" Because of an inherent ego
tiSm Every one of us thinks in his
heart that he is the tittcst to survive"
Washington star
Handicapped Lived with five fami-
| lies last week - calculated Mrs, House
keep. THAT isn't very good record ="
1T wuz the best could do. mum"
responded the applicant. 81 WIZ sick
two days. Minneapolis Tribune.
A Day Lost-"rhe appointed Safur-
day canic." wrote the novelist. Then
he reflected. THAT is terribly common
place" murmured he Il wonder how
it would he to say the appointed Sat
urday never cameY"-Lo Louisville COur-
Ter Journal
A Good Reason Wilicr-These are
hard times Why, reard OF man
| the other day who cotlldnt raise money
even on government bonds. Slimwitt
- Indeed WHAT WINS the reason? VIII
fer Well. You see. Ec didn't have the
| l,1tIS.--L0nd0n Tii-b'tS.
Insult to Injury Johnny CATER his
| FIRST day at SCHOOL, learned some
thing today, mamma, Mamma much
| To
| learned to say Yes, ma'am." and "NO.
ina ram" Mamma You did? Johnny
Yep WOman's Home Companion,
A Bcuefactor- Weary Walker Saw
In mp wood fur kindlIn', I'm ashamed
a. yer! Ragson TatterS Aw. g'on' dis
! Is locust wood. Weary Walkor--Wat'a
dat got Ia do wild it? RagSou Tatters--
Why. yer chump' dis is de Kind Of
wood dat policemen's clubs is made
ont Of Philadelphia Press.
Privileges Has wealth any special
privileges in this country" asked the
tourist. certainly" answered The
American citizen. Wealth entities a
man to wear q silk hat every day IN the
week and also gives license for tb@
use Of light-colored CATERS and side
whiskers Washington Star.
What | want" said the constituent.
els nice. easy position" My friend"
answered senator Sorghum, give up
that idea. When mn easy position IN
discovered SO many people are after "
that man has to fight ten hours n
day TO get Il and twelve hours n day
10 hold on to ST." Washington Star
Another Sort Of Fowl The imPn
dcncc az that Young brother OF mjrc!~
exclaimed =. 8. Narcct "He Just s1IG
mo was lee rn, ken whom ! married
you." "NcIl." replied Ter sympathetic
husband that's true enough. YoH
weren't chicken, rerc YOU NO, I
vas ii goose Calb5HC Standard and
Times.
Mary" said The lady TO her cook,
u must insist that you keep better
/ .. .,,1 tb,t ,.,, lupa loss rpfnuauu