The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-08-04

PAINTED HIS HOUSE AND BARK A BEAU.
TiPuL YELLOW"
on his ear and boastlng OF his financial
acumen he'd have been hustled into
state prison,
Just at present we have spasm Of
lIberallty on. We are willing to be, rob.
bed and wrecked and sent to the poor.
house. and we are willing to use soft
terms toward those who despoil Us. II
a chap should come into our yard and
steal our hoe, he would be thief; II
hnancier worth a million dollars steals
twenty thousand from us he Is only
CRATER" and must not be brought to
justice.
There Is grating going on all over
the land. None Is too high or too low
10 be suspected OF II. In order not to
hurt any ones feelings you should sub.
stitute the word ''tinancIerIng" as often
as possible. The man who 'tinanciers"
you out OF your all might appeal to the
law for damages II you called him by
the right name.
Five years ago II you met highway
robber as he was out working up busi.
ness he would be humming gay air
and feeling that this was not such a
bad old world after all. II you appeal.
ed to him to leave you enough of your
own money to buy the baby nursing
bottle he would gallantly accede to the
request and throw in cigar besides.
He was honest In his occupation. He
was highway robber and nothing
else.
You can't meet the same man to-
night. He hung on as long as he could,
but he was driven out of business by
the CRATER" who juggle with
stocks, raise the price Of the necessa-
ries OF life, Oil the country with poor.
houses and then steal the roofs of
them Your highway robber used to be
caught now and then by some consta,
BILE who didn't share the spoils with
him. and he stood up and took his pun.
ishment like man.
AT rare intervals your CRATER" Is
caught with the goods on him. There
was slip somewhere. He never
meant to be caught, He doesn't throw
up his hands, however, He employs
from three TO six first class lawyers
his friends kindly fix" from three to
six Of the jury; some one with a polit.
ical pull sees the Judge, When the
case comes to trial we find that we
have been calling shining light Of
honesty thief and are liable in heavy
damages Apologies are handed out all
around, aud he goes on his way to
graft" some more.
The air Is full of 1t. my son. Almost
every corporation and public official Is
full Of II, We can't live without pay.
Ing graft for everything we eat and
drink and wear, and we can't die with,
out being buried In trust coffin. I've
been slashing around on earth for six.
ty-four years, and can't remember q
time when 1t came harder on human
nature to be honest. It's pretty hard
thing for one man to buckle down and
saw wood at 60 cents cord when an.
other Is making $40 day by "financ.
Ing" While Farmer Reub Is grub
blng out bare living In his fields the
constable his vote helped to elect Is
making $l5 day by permitting autos
to speed at higher limit than the law
says.
Nevertheless, my son, my advice to
you Is to hang on to yourself. Don't
be carried away by the linancerlng ex.
element If the man who was called
a robber i've years ago is referred to
rs a CRATER today another five years
may change things back AS a people
we get streaks on. We seem to so to-
the devil for few years and forget
that there ls such a thing as integrity,
and then we haul UP short and begin
to fill the state prisons with shining
lights There are signs In the mir that