davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1906-03-07
TAPS FOR GENERAL
SCHOFI IELD SOUND
Body Laid Away With Hon
OrS at Arlington.

The late Lieut. Gen. John NJ. Schofeld
was buried al Arlington National Gene
tery this. afternoon with full military
heAors. President Roosevelt, the mem
bers Of the Cabinet. the Diplomatic
Corps, and representatives OF G. A. R.,
Of the Loyal Legion; Army of the Ten
nessee; Army of the Ohio, and Army
and Navy Union. attended the funeral
services which We're conducted by Bishop
Mackay-Smith, at st. Johns Church.
The Honorary Pallbearers.
The honorary panbearers were; Secre-
taTy of War Taft; former Secretaries of
War Proctor. EIhins, AIger. and Root;
Lieut.. Gen. J. c. Bates; Major Gems G.
NJ. Dodge. Wesley Merritt, and J. p.
SagSE: Brig. Gems. J. II. Wilson. W. NJ
Wherry. and Thomas NJ Vincent
The navy was represented by Rear Ad-
miral Remey as honorary pail bearer in
the absence of Admiral Dewey, who was
unable to attend on account Of III health
Brig. Gen. T. II. Barry, L. 5. A. com
Inanded the military escort. which con-
sisted OF six companies of coast artl-
lery from Fort Washington, Nd, four
companies of engineer troops from
WASHINGTON Barracks. and squadron
of cavalry and the two batteries of
field artillery from Fort Myer, Va.
Salute From Fort Myer.
When the COTtege reached Fort Myer,
on the way TO Arlington. an artillery
salute of seventeen gunS-the salute pre-
scribed for Secretary of War, which
position General Schofield held in 1865
was fired.
Interment was made in a beautiful lot
In the eastern section OF the cemetery,
which had been selected some time ago
by General SchoheId. 1t is located near
the Genera. Sheridan monument. and
just east of the Temple of Fame.
The body reached the city last night
from st. Augustine. on a private car
over the. Southern Railway. 1t was met
al the station by an escort from the
battalion of engineers at Washington
Barracks and conveyed TO St. Johns
Church. at Sixteenth and II streets
northwest There the remains rested
over night and there today they lay in
ktate.
Representatives Societies.
The Society of the Army Of the
Tennessee was represented at the fu-
neral by Gen. John c. Black, Major
William Warner, Major Vespasian
Warner. Capt. J. A T. Hull Col. w.
T. II. Parsons, Col r. H TiltOn, Capt.
J. Il White Gen. Maxwell V. Wood
hull. Mrs. John 4. Logan, Mrs. John
g Black, and Mrs 9 A Hovey-
rha Society of the Army of the Ohio
was represented by Gen. Thomas j.
Henderson, Gen. John @. Foster, Gen.
o. l. Spaulding. Col John A. Joyce,
Col. John McElroy, and Comrades ].
O. Burchfield. Maurice Pe&hin, n. n.
aacCuHoch, and Thomas F. Brown.
The Washington times., 1906-03-07
Wounded During Target Practice.

Private Dietz was wounded in the
head while participating in target prac-
tice on the Ordway rife range some
some years ago. He has not fully recov-
cred from the effects OF the wound. and
physicians who have attended him claim
that his affiiction is permanent. The case
was brought to the attention OF Senator
Dick last Congress. He introduced q
bill providing for pension for the un-
fortunate guardsmsH. but il died IN
coya
The Washington times., 1906-03-07
FIRE DESTROYS PAPER PLANT.

NEENAH, Wis, March 1.-The large
manufacturing plant of the Neenah
Paper Company, owned by John A. KIM
berly, was almost totally destroyed by
fire early tolay. The loss is estimated
at s300,09o,
The Washington times., 1906-03-07
Will Make Strong Effort.

Friends of Dietz Iagain took up the
issue. both with fhe Commissioner OF
Pensions and the Senator. and have been
given assurance that a final effort would
be made this Congress to legislate in
favor OF the soldier
The Washington times., 1906-03-07
Our Seeds or Your Seat,
Warning to Congress
House Action ArOuses Man
With Hoe and Plow.
MAIL FALLS AS SN0WFLAKES
Representatives Who Voted Against
Distribution Have Already Ordered
SackcIoth Suits and Asked Jobs.

Members OF Congress are worried and
fcrlorn.
II is a bad situation-for Congressman
From the top Of the ta:lest pine tree IN
Maine TO the furthesh bull frog in the
Everglades the cries of wrath arise.
From the glitter OF the Golden Gate
TO the ''shanghaied' victims on the
The Washington times., 1906-03-07
TYPOS WIN FIRST
POINT OF TRIAL
Numerous TypOthetae Aft
davits TO Be Stricken Out.
EIGHT-H0UR BATTLE ON
Legal Phase of Fight Is Begun Through
Equity Proceedings Before
Justice Stafford.
EIGHT-H0UR BATTLE ON

The legal fight Of the members of
Typographical Union, No. .l0I, for an
eight-hour day ip the District was COM
menced today before Justice Stafford,
presiding in Equ-iy Court. No. 2
The matter was brought TO the at
tention Of the court by the members of
the local Typothetae, who asked that the
union printers be restrained from inter
fering with them in the conduct of their
business by picketing their workshops
and otherwise harassing them.
Denied by the Typos.
In their answer Columbia Typograph-
icaI Union and its members denied that
they in any way interfered with the
members of the Typothetae or that they
Phey also fled large number of af-
f1davits In support of the position they
assumed in the premises.
When the matter came on FOR hearing
the union men won first blood. Their
counsel, Attorneys Ralston and Siddons,
moved to strike from the record a large
number of affidavits filed in behalf of
the complainants. The affidavits refer
red to were of three classes, sixteen re-
lating to events which occurred before
the Typothetae commenced proceedings
for an injunction, seven tolevents which
occurred, some after and some before
the proceedings were. begun. and twelve
which related to events which took
place after the litigation was COM
menced
The Washington times., 1906-03-07
OPERATORS WILL
NOT GO ON STRIKE
Report of Trouble in South
ern Denied.
RELATIONS ARE AGREEABLE
Alleged Interview With President Per
ham Pronounced a Fake by
That Official.

There will be no strike of the tel
egTapheTs and station agents of the
Southern Railway Company on Friday.
as has been reported At tie office of
the Southern Railway Company this
morning. the officials said they had no
comment to make.
II. B. Perham. president OF the Order
of Railroad Telegraphers OF the United
States and Canada, said to Times re-
porter this morning that the statement
printed this morning as coming from
him was not authorized.
Interview a Fake.
II have not seen any newspaper re-
porters since my arrival here Monday"
said he. land was surprised when I
read the alleged interview with me
printed this morning. 1t is true the tel
egraphers employed by the Southern
have peutoned for an advance in the
wage scale, and many of the Western
roads have granted the increase asked
for The officials of the Southern have
treated US with every consideration, and
our relations have been most pleasant.
We hope and believe that the request
of the men will be granted"
Negotiations in Progress.
The negotiations for an increase of pay
VI Nii0 iCACSA HRiACAo dilu SNdlAOn dSSulS
employed by the Southern have been in
progress since last December. and the
officials of the railroad have, from time
to time, conferred with the officers of
the Telegraphers' Union, making sug-
gestions and notifications in the new
agreement which the men want the off,
cials OF the Southern to sign
The average pay OF the men varies
from $50 to $50 per month, and the men
ask that the minimum wage be placed
at $50 and the maximum $S5 per month.
Tfa men are. hopeful that an amicable
agreement will soon be reached.
The Washington times., 1906-03-07
Recognition Is Impossible.
Up Would Go Prices.

With the increase in wages, the opera
tors could work of their enormous sur
plus tonnage Of coal at a profitable ad-
vance, while the mines would be work
ed only on half time until the surplus
was sold TO the public. The advance
in wages would be met by an increase in
the price of coal, as was done when the
award Of the anthracite commission
went into effect three years ago.
The Washington times., 1906-03-07
OPERATORS WOULD
MAKE COAL HIGHER
This to Follow Increase in
Miners Wages.
OPPOSED TO THE UNIONS
Generally Thought Subcommittee Will
Refuse to Officially Recognize
Organizations.
OPPOSED TO THE UNIONS

NEW YORK, March THE subcom-
mittee appointed By the anthracite op-
orators 10 consider the miners demands.
and the statistics furnished by the op-
orators bearing upon them. will probably
not conclude its iabors and report to the
general committee Of operators before
the end o. the week.
A vaTie y OF information is az hand
indicating what the action OF the sub
committee in regard 10 the demands will
be. but nothing of an official nature has
been given out It IS understood that
the subcommittee. composed of Mr.. Baer
and Mr., WILCOX. has full power to ac-
cept or reject any or all the demands.
Recognition Is Impossible.
While the action OF the subcommittee
is problematical, it is practically certain
that the operators will fatty reject the
demand for union recognition. As a con-
sequence, the demand for the CHECK
off, system in the anthracite region will
also be rejected.
Much opposition to the demand for an
eight-hOur day for outside men will be
felt when the joint conference of opera
tors and miners cOnvenes. The demand
for increased wages will likely be grant
ed II the other demands are withdrawn
or so modified as TO make them nom
operative.
The Washington times., 1906-03-07

Affecting Today Will Con-
slider Settlement.
M U CH WORK HELD UP
If Understanding Is Not Reached This
Week Statement May Be Issued
to the Public.

The committee representing the mas
ter plumbers viii hold a meeting this
afternoon and consider the situation I'D
TO date They Will, it is said, perfect
plans for bringing about a settlement
of the trouble with the journeymen
plumbers who were locked out last Sat
J urday.
Don't Want Outsiders.
The master plumbers do not want to
bring outside plumbers to Washington
if il can possibly be avoided. and the
only way this can be brought about is
for the jouTneymen to agree TO abide
in good faith by the five-year contract
which. the masters say. was broken by
the jouTneymen last summer. Large
plumbing work is just at this time
block ed by reason of the lockout but
necessary and important work, emer-
gency jobs. are taken care Of by the
master plumbers.
Some half dozen or more apprentices
and helpers have quit and joined the
journeymen- The apprentices and help
ers who quit work will not be taken
back by the master plumbers.
Statement May Be Issued.
1t was said this afternoon that if an
understanding between the journeymen
and master plumbers is not reached by
Saturday morning the master plumbers
viii then give out a statement setting
forth their side of the controversy so
that the public will know who is respon-
iSble for the trouble which, if continued
lay all building operations now under
contract
The Washington times., 1906-03-07
AHdavits. Ruled Out.

After hearing argument on the motion
by Messrs. McKenny and, F1annery. OPP
posing it, Justice. Stafford ruled out the
aftidavits Of the. first class and part of
those of the second class.
The matter chen was considered on the
complaint and answer and the affidavits
filed by the contending parties. 1t is
probable the hearing will occupy the at
tention of the court all of today and
part of tomorrow
The Washington times., 1906-03-07
WAR DEPART TMENT
SAYS HALE'S WRONG
Taft Started Preparation
Against China.
MANY WAR PLANS ON HAND
President Asked That for Far East to
Help Discussion With Cabinet
About Situation.
MANY WAR PLANS ON HAND

Senator Hale's criticism in the Senate
yesterday Of the general staff of the
army for alleged undue activity in pre-
pairing plans for possible operations IN
China is the subject Of snuch discussiOn
today by Senators and officials. The
members OF the general staff feel that
they have been misrepTesented. but by
the ethics OF the service are. precluded
from making a direct defense
The War Department view is that the
Senator from Maine wass wrong, either
in his premises or deductions. When he
absolved Secretary Taft from all respon-
sibility I'm the sending of troops to Man
LA for possible Chinesel service he seem
ed unaware that four months ago Il
was Secretary Taft himself who publicly
announced that two brigade posts were
to be established in the Philippines, and
that the forces iL the fisland would be
increased to meet Chinese Contingencies.
This followed Secretary Taft's trip to
the Orient and his personal visit to
Canton.
The Washington times., 1906-03-07
Root Had Hand in II.

Secretary Root had a part in the de-
hberations leading Secretary Taft to his
purpose to send troops, but MIR Root
only presented the views of the State
Department agents in China and his
own opinion that there might be an out
break. The whole proposition was
threshed out In Cabinet meeting, and the
President and his secretaries were
unanimous in supporting the prepara-
tions.
tft is true" said high ranking Of
ficer of the general staff this morning.
that we have drawn up a scheme for
an attack on China should such q re-
mote contingency arise, but we have
also prepared plans for possible wars
with many other countries. including
Venezuela, with which power It seemed
probable at one time, that this country
might be involved in serious difficulties
1T is also true that the President
called upon the general staff for its
Chinese plans, in order to see just what
the United States could do should it
become necessary to use armed inter
ference in China. 1t is not true, how
ever, that the general staff Is trying to
force large military establishment on
the country. t
'1t is only. doing its utmost to- sbIace
the country in the best possible hosi-
tion for war with the forces availa bic
should hostiiitieS OCCUR"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-09-16

he
W" p i WEarcI ghmr
B m gadIL
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-09-16

l.; Ihey sat down together and Big Bear opened
ms oinner pail, which was fun of nice. ripe wild
NOW ever since then. the Brown Bear dislikes
Sne Erog-People (slthough sometimes. when
sGA4 hungry. he viii HI and eat thena),
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1906-09-16


it dnew dvhta
IrlOOk
music
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-07-08

I could hardly repress smile. oh" l said;
peritonitis.
bet | win. Perrybrowntis is what | said and what
| Observation-Disclosures
What could l say? | nor anyone else had heard
of such disease. And yet the man did not seem
insane nor intoxicated
Symptoms" he said: That tired feeling; pain
in the body somewhere; lassitude; inconsistencies
of the general constitution ct CeterJ ct Cetery Say
he said suddenly, do you know Virgins, of Wig
gins's Elixir of Life? Do you know Wood of Woods
Duplex Sarsaparilla? Do you know Bilkins, Of
Murchisons Little Lung Liquid? Know Boggs, of
Boggs's Human Purifcator? Do you?"
l did not know what to say; but that did not
matter He did not give me time to say 1t,
Virgins, millionaire! Wood, millionaire Bill
kins millionaire Murchison, millionaire! BOggs
millionaire! All millionaires And why? Patent
medicine! Patent medcine No common, free-for-a
drugs but patent drugs. Owned and controlled
none genuine unless-et cetery. See the point?
And what has that got to do With began
With me? Wait Why isn't Virgins billion,
aire? Why aren't Wood Bilkns, Murchison, Boggs?
Why not all billionaires? Why not everyone of the
ten thousand patent-nedicine men biionaires?
l tried to say that it was because there wash t
ten thousand billions of money; but he cut me Oft
short
Tut" he said I'll tell you why. Competition
All after the trade. What does Virgins S
Elixir of Life cure? Everything in the dictionary
of disease, from abscess to zysostum. don't know
what zysostum is; but Wiggns's Elixir of Life will
cure it, whether it is anything or not And what
does WOOQ DupltA OdlSd SllS! SotilIC
abridged bunch of pains and aches. And Bilkns's
Queen of Pain? The identical Abe of earthly
ills. And Murchsons Little Lung Liquid? The same
ditto. And Boggs's Human Puritcator? Same for
Boggs." He glanced at me triumphantly.
No privacy. No reserved diseases All free for
all corners. Why, there are nine thousand four
hundred and sixty-two patent cures for malaria
eight thousand seven hundred and forty-three I'M
failing patent reiefs for neuralgia; ten thousand SIX
hundred and forty-seven absolute destroyers OF
consumption cancer coughs colds, corns, and
Group What's the use of having patent medicine
when everybody from Adam to Zaccheus can patent
another to do the same work."
He shifted disdainfully, and then with a lightning
change of countenance he smiled cheerfully. My
names Brown" he said" Perry Brown: And
here he said, opening paper that he pulled out
waved it gracefully in the air and laid it gently
in my hands as if it was a blessing, and he the
reenting parent, and my hands the bride anc
groom.
That's what I call patent' he cried with pride
That's the real thing don't patent a little two
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-07-08

what will happen when Perry Brown gets busy?
Il see t said you will get out a patent
"Not!" he shouted. mot Perry Brown! Not on
your hfe And put the finest disease on earth right
down in the class with measles, mumpS, and sore
feet? Never! How aboht appendlcltls?-
of course" l saidL
There you hit itlI,ahe cried. There you guess
right! Apprenticeship swell disease. None but the
rich deserve the arNendxl All the rage with the
-Four Hundred. TIN must have it. They do have
it. But see the result-one hundred thousand
surgeons carving up the -Four Hundred Too much
competition again. Just think, he said, .Pausng
impressvely and lowering his voice to whisper
Just think what bonanza if the man who invented
appendicitis had patented it Not swell could so
much as have claimed to have an appendix without
his permission Scale of prices: to have an appendix
one thousand dollars; to have appendicitis, two
thousand dollars; to have it removed each time
after the first, four thousand dollars. "
He paused to let it sink into my brain:
Think of all the chances wasted. Why dldn
Bright patent Brights disease; why didn't Perry
Tone patent peritonitis? Why didn't Perry Card
patent percarditis? Why didn't Mr.. Bronx patent
date didn't have the grand American commercial
spirit They didn't have the spirit of the Rookie
felers and Carnegies and Perry Browns"
He swelled with indignation for awhile, and then
dropped into plain business talk You've got a
waiting room. Granted, he said. You've got
a consultation-room. Granted You've got sign
tools of the cut-open-and-sew trade. I've got
the only U. S. patented disease on earth. All
right We go into partnership. l promote; you
cure We divide half and half What? In five years
to have perrybrownitis, the only smart disease.
Every soiaeqe richie wild to have it. Clerks and
shop-girls go without lunch to save up money to
have perrybrownitis, the absolutely heightened
exclusive, aristocratic pain IN the tummy Appendi-
citis lost in the crowd. Every crowned head sick
to have perrybrownitis. What"
1t looked good to me- | placed my hand hrnly
il the hand of Perry Brown and clasped 1t ten
derby.
well, he said it's go! We are both as good
millionaires this minute. Could ysou-ah! could
YOU lend me fifty cents to get lunch?"
Brown" I said, q was just going to ask you
that very question"
All right he said cheerfuly. 1--WE don't need
lunch It's merely habit. Dr. Tanner went forty
days without eating, and he could have gone forty
more but he got hungry. No matter. Now have
perrvbrownitis You have cured me. Good! Next
Step: | 90 out spread the glad tidngs; get ahold
of a reporter; boom it; get people to sitting ,uI
and taking notice You sit here. In comes Mrs
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-07-08
Bv ELLIS PARKER BUTLER

Do you give it up, or
do you want one more
guess, doc?"
| was angry. What
is this?" | asked hotly.
Are you trying to make
a fool of me, or what?
Did you come in here to
take a quiet rest in my
easy-chair, or are you sic k?
If this is your idea of a
practical joke, get ortl
And the sooner you do the
better!"
Now, doc" he said
soothingly, cam down!
Don't bust your coat too
fast. Keep steady on your
keel. I'm sick, all right;
I'm mighty sick. All |
asked is, Do you give it
up?"
" Yes" l said, Il do.
What is the matter with
you? What ails you?
What are your symp-
toms?"
" Now you are talking
life insurance." he said,
and he sat up in the chair.
I'm sick, all right; but
| would have bet a thou
sand that you couldn't
spot the disease. What
| have got, and here
he paused impressively,
what I've got is perry
h-nurtoIt1S ~
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-07-08
The Case of Perry Brown

for-a-dollar, brown-sugar-
and-whisky, quinine-and-
water medicine. No, sir! |
patent the disease. There
it is: Perrybrownitis!
Perry Brown, that's me;
1tfS, a disease; perry
brownitis; Perry Browns
disease. All properly pat
ented by the U. S. Patent
Office, signed, sealed, and
attested, to whomsoever
it may concern, amen!
Ny disease, and nobody
in these U. S. can have
it without my written
permission, or, bang! suit
for damages. " He glared
at me triumphantly.
" And patents being
taken out in every civil
lied country on earth.
Absolute monopoly! See
the point? Read it
Perrybrownitis, a disease
for men, women, and chill
dren, of all ages and
nationalities. Claim, a
disease of the human be-
ing; principal character
istic, lassitude; claim, the
name Perrybrownitis ;
claim, any and all cures,
reliefs, assuagements, and
restoratives efficacious in
said disease >"
| admit that the idea
staggered me.
Monopoly? l should
shout" he cried. Got
Standard Oil skinned to
a finish! Got Sugar Trust
clean outclassed! Then