The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1906-05-04
n ''l n 81 N VI 4 B /. Y 'i
III'T'IIE !
yISEI|||,I
WITH
I
The old Straw Lid.

Low shoes and tan socks and all that
But woe to the fellow whose wi1e says "
him:
Here's a perfectly good last years hatF
Oh. yellowed by sun and despatched Dy
rain.
She drags 1t from out its retreat, !.
TITS good as the day that you bought IT,
know
Say. sKIDDoos greets the hat on the
street,
Oh. woe is the man that the street gamin
chides.
For ''newsy'' knows gibes that are pat
Oh, pity the man with the leftover ID
See de guy wild de last summers nat
Spring Zephyrs-
But, after all, ten-cents-a-can-beer In
Chicago should not be regarded as
national calamity.
Looping the loop" and jumping
the gap" are no longer the most hair
erecting feats of the modern circus.
THE dip Of death" is now the acme
Of thrillers. The act comes from
Paris A woman drives an automobile
down steep incline. around a loop,
up sudden curve, ties knot in the
air, strikes another incline with a
smash and goes spinning away to the
fnale-wherever that Isl The gay
lady chauffeur complains that
''the dip OF death" gives her head
ache. II gave the first woman who
tried 1t, a s12 coffin.
George AIDES college Widow" Is
showing in Chicago. George is being
shown in Europe. Both AIDE and his
widow" are very much alive. al
though at first thought this might
seem a gross mis-statement. No. she
is not a -widow-she IS George
AIDES widow. Yes, and Ade aliyel
Aw. g'wan. what's tn matter with you
don't yer read the papers?
As to spelling reform. let's adopt a
rule that spelling at IT. shall be con-
sidered as correct as spelling It :"
II the desire is to save the time ordi-
narily expended searching the diction-
AIRY, wouldn't this solve the prob
lem? Another plan OF reformation
would be to shoot the ''ie" out Of
"mien" and the "ei'' out Of weird. :"
If Mr.. Carnegie hesitates about COM
hitting murder in cold blood. sup
pose he pass the gun to me It's per-
sonal matter with uncle BY"
II you are sufficiently frightened
over the coal strike. better put your
next winters coal in now.
II viii never do to let the prune-
serving Iandlady read that article
about the French miners subsisting
20 days on bark and chopped hay.
Neigh, neigh!
Just to rub 1t into the theatrical trust,
Sarah Bernhardt's successful tour Of
Texas in a circus tent was preceded
BY an ex-president OF the Press HUI
morists' association. who acted as ad-
vance man The Divine Sarah made
EN- take a joke this time. all right.
all right
That $4,000 ton battleship would
make a nice watchcharm for J. Ham.
Lewis Chicago's pink-whiskered cor
poration counsel.
It is reported that lady admirer
has sent Speaker Joe Cannon q wash
cloth This reminds me that while
all girls cannot be beautiful. they may
At least keep their ears cleanl
Had q bite vet?
A Chicago woman complains to the
newspapers because she loses her rub
bers in the mud while crossing the
street. These aesthetic new arrivals
make a man tired. What's q Chicago
street crossing for. I'd like to know
The truly philosophical man who
has taken coin with a hole In it,
will whistle softly 20 himself and
make 4 watchcharm Of 1t. The fnan-
cier would probably utilize the same
coin in the purchase OF q doughnut.
While endeavoring to outwit the Do
lice. a Chicago saloonkeeper has
solved a heretofore knotty problem.
Above the saloonkeeper's maison-de-
ioie Is q gambling room where the
hlue-coated minions OF the law are
prone to interfere To give the alarm
an electrical piano Is stationed IN the
bar room below At the arrival Of the
polite. the harkeep stealthily pushes
the button. the plano pipes up. whoa,
Tou Heifer." and the gamblers make
their getaway So much for the pl
nno as 4 warning to the lawless. but
has il occurred to Jon that gha piano
must Be still at all other timesg Why,
then. not introduce the piano warning
in Fats as protection against burg
larsg II would thus be 4 double
hlesssEng-no losses from marauders
and no nerves from piano banging
And there 8 the yawping soprano.
I Couldn't we use her as a wnrnius