The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1906-06-29
NO. 3S
HIS BOARDING
HOUSE GIRL.

"H NtHH"a AANANHA may AAWA ~
tually keep them awake o'nlghts. but
/ IN bet a hat. it makes some Of them
toss a lot IN their sleep" observed the
man who is beginning TO think the
matrimonial situation over.
"say. ] think that at the boarding
house where I'm making occasional
calls this curious cult has got them
an skinned.
"Ihe-er-young lady, when I get
there, IS, OF course, always dressing.
and VIII be down ia a few minutes /
am invariably told this by the grin
ming girl who comes padding down
the han TO let me in at the door.
Then She sldesteps with me to the
parlor.
TITS always dark there. The light
I'm the daytime would fade the paper
flowers draped like an emblem Of
mourning over the chandelier. Gas
bills run so high, don't you know, that
there is only a flicker Of the jet at
night Not O bad idea at some stages
of the evening. by the way. AS I am
shown tremendously into this muss
smelling place, q black and tan ter
rier that looks % be old enough TO
have rubbed against George Washing
toms silk stockings, snuffs az the bot
tom of my trousers and begins 20
squeak at me. When I try 20 push
away the nuisance with one Of my
feet-swifdy propelled-a very old
lady in q black silk dress and a white
cap with purple ribbons run through
it, haven't noticed her before
through the darhness-hurriedly picks
the snariing dog mp. scowls hercely at
me-, mumbles something about men
being worse than dogs, and swlshes
painfully upstairs, carrying the yelp-
ing b0w-wow with her.
"Aaybe SC Is her husband-I don't
know-but then an aged man in a
green skull cap and tapping blue and
red carpet slippers over white socks.
With his long broadcloth coat buttoned
tightly around him, gropes his way
into the ROOM Not being able TO SEQ
me. DE butts into me and emits a
senile shrek of alarm. Then recog-
nizing me as a male person who has
been there several times 10 call upon
one of the young women guests of the
house. he grins and leers at me and
d.. 70
expects that she'll be down directly
IT'S none OF HIS business whether she
win or not, because she isn't even dis
iantly connected with him. When I
fail TO encourage him IN conversation
be slides ont grinning back on me as
NJ he considered I was making II
kinds of an ass Of myself
Don't think a. Ny troubles are
only beginning ! know in what or
der thoy come. so I try 20 prepare my
self A woman who still dresses like
they dld az the close Of the war-wig
held by a net some crinoline beneath
her green satin skirt and with old red
chorus girl rouge on her cheeks TO
give her a hectic lushy Camille effect,
hurries into the parlor from the dark
dining room. can't help but imagine
her Joints creak az she coyly enters
OF course. she has a great deal OF
business In the parlor. She looks me
over with care out OF the corners OF
hor eyes, pretends she IS greatly inter-
ostod in the Advertisements OF ten
m0nths-0ld magazine and then swish
es upstairs. AS she goes she casts
back at me a sort Of contemptuous and
yituperative glance as much as 10 say
I look as though I should know better
than 60 around calling on young
ladies' who have not yet reached the
age Of sense or discretion.
"This overdone curiosity extends
even % the animals OF the place. A
blind maltese cat tottors over my way.
investigates me. rubs himself or her
self against my trousers for awhile.
leaving enough blush gray hair on
them % stuff q pillow. and then ambles
ont into the HAN. probably TO tell tho
rest OF them that Miss Blanks beau.
who has got 20 calling on her 80 fire.
queuuy. IS waiting IN the parlor.
"Then the Second Floor Front, a
wodged faced lady with a voice like a
hand lathe needing oil. hurrles down
the stairs demanding 10 know at ey-
cry step, WHATS become OF them
towels. ia just like 10 knowY She sees
me On the Darlor. glances al me with
an accusing air, shifts. and then turns
and goes back up the stairs saying
something audibie about people that
has the nerve 10 want 20 keep the par
Tor Of a public boarding house to their
selves an The time' Just as though
She didn't come down in the FIRST place
for the sole purpose OF ubborlng.
"The Fourth Floor Back, a superan-
uuafod suis artist. n clerk Of 40 years
standing. never gets home for dinner.
but always arrives promptly at eight
o'clock, and, perceiying me In the
ssmidarlncss. grins wisely as much as
to say: We'll, here's that bone-head
again. calling on that girl, I s'pose.'
Then De wabblas IN and asks me
whether think maybe they will abol-
ish football in AN tho colleges. Not
being encouraged by much conversa-
ton on my part, be wabbles out again,
fayorng me with a parting leer Of un-
dcrstanllng as NE passes under the
INTEL
"Why is 90 that an human torment
ors choose The FIRST and most COM
plote method of torturel
"Then the young woman on whom
7 have come 20 call makes her appear
ancs. For the remainder Of the even
mfg have her 20 lean on-lguratiYely,
of c0urse-when the rest Of the house
hold shows mp 20 do its Deeking and
peer'ug around. Cleveland Plain