The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1906-03-01
SAM JONES.
Truthful and Witty Sayings Culied from
His Addresses.

His Addresses.
The older I grow. the more care
for facts and the less care about
theories. used to love to sit down
and read articles on agriculture, but
I wouldn't give ten cents a dozen for
them today. But I love to walk with
a good old farmer through the mag
ni6cent growing crops, look at the fat
cattle, horses and hogs; and see his
full granaries. There is something
charming about that to me. I always
did despise theology and botany,
and I always did love religion and
flowers. I don't want a doctor to sit
down and talk hygiene and anatomy
and physiology to me. Let him take
me out to the cemetery and show me
what he has done.
II never ask fellow what church
he belongs to, or how he was baptized.
I. say to him, Are you good hus-
band to your wife, and a good father
to your children, and good citizen
in the community? Do you pay your
debts, and do you live right?' If he
says 'Yes,'I give him my hand; if
he says NO, I give him my foot.
'Frequently when I walk down the
aisles of a church I say to myself,
Tread softly, old fellow: you are
among the dead The devil can run
mile while the church is pulling it's
boots on. I do not know whether you
have more churches in this town than
saloons, or not, but if I wanted to
run this town I would go in with the
saloons every time. They have a get
up-and-get about them. You dear
old deacons and elders and stewards
have got where you amt worth moth
ing. You have just sat down and
done nothing so long that the only
peculiar thing about you is, when you
do get up and walk off the seat of
your breeches looks like map of the
United States.
that we put gold above God, and
chattels above character, and man.
mon above manhood. We have an
over production of everything in this
world, except men. We have run
short on men, and yet there are mar
ried women here who think they have
great men for husbands, when they
have got no men at adjust got
pair of old breeches waddling around.
The greatest thing in this world today
is a royal, splendid man. One royal,
splendid man will give America more
character, and make it go farther
down in history than all the cotton
that was ever raised in the south, or
all the cattle and hogs that were ever
raised in the west, Or all the manu-
featured products of the east. We
have run short on men.
1.-The finest girl is the girl that
makes her mother her sweetheart, and
loves her mother better than she does
all the world. Girls, the best friend
you have on earth is your mother.
Girls: get a move on you and be some
body. So many girls just want to be
pretty little things. They let their
mother scrub and wash while they
stay upstairs and take care of their
complexion. [ would rather have the
nj of
my sweet mother, than have her
drudge for me and have the complex
ion of a lily. So many girls just
want to be pretty little things. What
do you want to be pretty for, you
little idiot? The most tremendously
dangerous thing in this world is to
be an exquisite beautiful woman. But
I don't think any Of you need be
afraid. Pretty is as pretty does, for
by and by the worms of your body
will gnaw the roses from your cheek,
and fade the luster from your eyes,
but beautiful character will shine
when the stars have gone out. A
mother is the purest being on earth.
There was something about my mother
that made her voice to me as sweet as
an aeolian harp: there was something
that always made the touch of her
hand to me as soft and gentle as
zephyrs put in motion by an angels
wing.
Zone calm, bright, sunshiny day
an angel stole out from heaven and
came down to this old world, and all
day long he roamed about through
field and forest and city and hamlet,
and just as the sun went down he
plumed his wings, and said. MY
visit is up: must go back to the
world of light. But before I go I
will gather some mementos of my
visit to earth. He looked into a
beautiful flower garden and he said,
How rich and fragrant these flow
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