The Newark journal., 1906-01-26
BERTIE TASTES
 POVERTY
By JOHN WORNE
Copyright, I9os, by Joseph B, Bowles.,

 suddenly. Bertie jumped and split the coffee into the saucer.
 Eva sighed
 T wonder she continued how It would feel to be really poor "Garret in Bloomsbury suggested Bertie
 Yes; just the two of us together with only a shilling left"
 If you're keen, I don't mind trying it. said Bertte.
 Could we?" asked Eva, doubtingly Certainly; I've no doubt it would do Us good. ''#
 We might say we've gone out of town. put on old clothes and hide our selves away somewhere, in a slum, tor a month or SO"
 "Six months if you like Think of nice slum.'
 "I suppose any slum would do.'' ''No good spelling the effect by being particular about the slum," Berte agreed. Let's begin to-day"
 So they arranged everything and put on their oldest clothes
 Samson the butler glsred aa they passed out
 When will you return, sir?"
 "In about-shall we say six months? % Bertie turned to Eva. ''If you like" said she
 Six months" said Bertie. sternly The door shut behind them with an ominous bang.
 They stood deserted on the pavement Alone in London" Bertie mur- mured.
 Better take hanson" said Eva, timidly.
 There are public omnibuses." said Bertie. which are much cheaper Let us find one" said Eva.
 Bertie waved his hand at a passing vehicle which looked nice and public and cheap. Its driver drew up doubt fully
 Not that" said Eva that's Carter Patterson; don't think they carry people"
 Bertie devoted all his attention to looking as if he hadn't waved The driver said offensive things and drove away.
 What are the police thinking of?' said Eva, that such language is pos sible. However, here is a real bus
 They got in. Bertie paused on the step.
 Guard he said, drive to the near est slum where there is likely to be an attic to let
 "Wot oh!" said the conductor, "and at wot hour ham I ter call fur ye~ lordship?"
 Never mind said Bertie as na took his seat; we can face the world together"
 Hadn't you better speak more more as if you were one of them 2" Eva suggested. under cover of the roar and rattle of the bus.
 That's an idea" he replied "I1l drop an h or two next time. It will match the color of my tie better" The conductor came for the fares. "'Ow much?" said Bertie
 Where to?e said the conductor. As far as yerIl tike us for a pen ny, said Bertie.
 ''Thatn be a penny each said the conductor.
 Berde counted over some coppers cautiously.
 Dyer want me ter stand ere all dye?' said the conductor.
 'If you want to, said Bertie; its your bloomin' homnibus, hain't it2" Come on. said the conductor, pay yer fare or get art.
 If I ave hany more of your him. pudence, I'll call a policeman" Bertie retorted, finding the "h's' rather a strain.
 "Ho you'd call a policeman. you wouldi" said the conductor. You'd call policeman! GO are you?" Whats it to you 'oo hi ham," said Bertie
 Ere, get art" said the conductor. ringing the bell saYagely. The bus slowed down.
 You don't catch me staying" said Bertie. and pulled the bell again. Consequently the bus went on. Please stop it" said Eva, repenting of her poverty. and putting a shilling quietly into the conductors hand. He rang again Bertie eot cut, Eva fol lowed, and the condu cor drove away. What do we do now?" said Eva. 'Pm dying for a cup of tea" Bertie counted his change. the few shillings that were left to them in this world
 No. tea. he moaned. Heres a slum, let's find a home.
 But Pm simply dying for cup of tea''