The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-07-29
Dude Farmer Smeared Luci-
fer on Marauding ReynardS
SkUNKS AND CROWS FIXED
billiard, Who Saved Rural Maine Com
munlty From Pests, Greeted as
Real Hero by the
People.
Special to The New York World.

NteSAAf AJN6 AllAAldLAa VI DOS7
ton is no longer slurrlngly referred to
hereabouts as dude" He is spoken Of by
the natives as Mister" Hilliard, and when
new conner gets gay and makes fun Of
him because he parts his hair and his
name IN the middle and wears patent
leather shoes. with white cloth tops. he is
given quiet call down and told TO take
off his hat.
Folk about here, though, didn't always
feel the way they do now about Hilliard.
When he came here early in the spring
to start farming for pleasure he carried
his head pretty high and never asked n
word of advice from the neighbors-not
even from the oldest inhabitant. The
neighbors felt sighted. and the oldest in
habitant was sorer than raw boil
Hilliard just went about doing things
his own way. He had once attended an
| agricultural college. and he planted corn,
set out tomato plants and sowed oats by
rule. He said his ways were scientific;
the folk declared they were astonishngly
foolish. Everyone prophesied he wouldn't
have enough crops to feed his own pig;
but all his stuff seemed to just bound out
of the earth and wax strong and healthy.
Then the Oldest Inhabitants were sorer
than three raw boils set in row.
Just about this time the crows and foxes
and skunks came up from Molunkus way,
and it began to look as though the crops,
hens and chickens of every one, including
Hilliard. would go into the maws of the
invaders. There had been a fire in the
Molunkus woods, and that sent UP the
scared and hungry foxes and skunks. The
crows followed along out Of general cuss-
edness
No one ever saw either skunks or foxes
so thick, and ii was a shame the way
they laid to on the fat fowls of the flu
rious farmers. Elmer Purdy counted six
teen foxes around his chicken coop the
night after the last chicken had been
stolen, and as for skunks-well, you just
couldn't live. out doors after dark. Young
gallants were forced to give up calling on
their best girls, or wear rubber coats
going to and from. Deacon Terrill VEN
tured out and had to bury his best suit
of clothes and Hank White had to shoot
a pet collie that had a skunk mania. 1t
was simply wicked the way they bobbed
up unsupported and made themselves
known.
As for the crows, they were the limit.
No one around here knew there were
many. They came by the thousand and
stayed At night they would post their
sentinels and sit on a clump of trees on
Whipple Hill until the old monarchs
dropped with the weight of them. In the
day time they would spread over the
fields in black, undulating swarms, and
when they rose the ground looked as
though locusts had devastated the region.
Nothing did the slightest good. Then up
rose billiard.
He modestly told the oldest lnhabitanl
that he thought he knew way out OF
the dilemma The day before the vener-
able settler would have stuck up his nose
In derision, but the night before a skunk
had invaded his pantry and his nose was
already up as high as it would go. More
over he had suffered in purse and pride,
was mentally crushed and physically ex-
hausted So he told Hilliard to go ahead
and suggest anything he wanted to, for,
as things stood, he couldn't possibly hurt
the town.
I'm going to act" said the scientific farm
er. you send some of the boys out and
catch dozen foxes and as many skunks
and I'll do the rest. ] want twenty crows,
but I'll catch those myself"
The Oldest inhabitant shifted. but he
called in some of the neighbors and they
set to trapping foxes and skunks. 1t
wasn't difficult, for most everything had
been eaten up and they would accept any
kind of bait. Hilliard had equally good
luck and caught twenty-four crows by
sprinkling bird lime on the branches of
trees on Whipple Hill. 1t was new trick
the crows were not on to and they set
foot in the lime without fear. Once in
they stuck fast, and Hilliard picked them
eff next morning.
When the men with the skunks and
foxes showed up billiard was dressed in
rubber boots, coat, gloves and hat and
ready for them Out Of box he took sew
era1 pounds of yellowish paste and
smeared each animal from his nose to his
tail Then he muzzled and chained them
to poles driven deep in the soil of five
acre lot The crows he dyed a bright
crimson and Immediately liberated.
The effect of the latter upon the fiocks
was magical. They had no sooner headed
for their brethren than the 1ocks, startled.
appalled, amazed, rose in the air, cawed
vociferously and departed, hiding the sun
as they flew westward pursued by the
red devils of their kind. 1t was stupefy
ing, gratifying and exciting to the town
folk and billiards. stock went up 50 per
cent.
The neighbors wanted to know how the
paste was going to effect the foxes and
skunks. billiard told them to go home
and wash up and come back at dark and
see They did, and when they returned a
strange sight met their gaze. Out in the
middle Of a fve-acre field there appeared
to be score of giant pinwheels lying fiat
on the ground and sizzling and sparkling.
Now and then one of the wheels would
stop and the observers would see what
appeared to be a small animal made of
yellow fire hopping or rolling about
Sounds of barking and grunting verified
the fact that the golden light was emitted
from animate objects.
TITS all right" Hilliard assured the
startled farmers. Those are the foxes
and slxunks we had this afternoon. [
smeared them with phosphorescent paste
and they will stay illuminated for some
time. Now you stick here while liber-
ate them and We'll see what happens"
About five minutes later the fields and
woods were streaked with lines of inter-
mittent fire, darting here and there, merg-
ing. separating and merging again as the
bedaubed animals sought out their fam
lilies Ahead of each scudded a score or
more of snivelling. frightened, fleeing rel
atives escaping from an unexpected and
unexplained horror. Next morning not
a fox. skunk or crow was to be found in
the township.
This is why w. Bryce Hillard. scientific
farmer, with parted name and hair, is
hero of community that scoffed at him
only a few weeks ago.