Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1906-02-17

OluoT. SHOW Tie d NTVOu HSllOW AIlQ
I'll show you Good Thing. The
world is full of them. and each and
every single individual OF them Is get-
ting it in the cervical vertebrate.
Half the world Is a Good Fellow and
the other half is laying for him.
Some people rail at the hold-up man
and declare he is the worst ever, but ]
doubt It, To my mind. the chap with
the insinuating grin who comes up to
you on pay day and touches you Oft
for ten ''till Saturday" Is SO far down
! in the calendar that the hold-up man
shines in comparison like an arc light
/ to a COB of mud. The hold-up whacks
| you over the head and you mend the
| injury with two cents worth Of stick
! ing plaster, but the chronic TOUGHER
destroys ,our faith In humanity. 1t IL
true n smiles and seems to be your
| friends while he does 1t, but he gets
| your wad Just the same.
4 speak from an intimate knowledge
4 OF the subject, for I've gone through
| life being Good Thing. I've made
i enough money to take away the ever
i present scare of the days when old
outntf ti1sa y .sgs2al gfSl. - bNt sons
j otav Fellow always got IL, :.
X, Jwledge that you are Good Fellow
| may I'LL your soul with q peaceful
| glow, but 1t won't fill your pocket with
anything more substantial than elf
mate. Freeze to your roll, son, and
while you may be smiling and agree
able, 1t Is policy to cultivate a hard,
forbiddin- frown for certain I cxi-
gencies when tho chronic TOUGHER IL
abroad in the land.
The only way you can be Good
Fellow clear through with no possible
| chance Of making enemies Is to let
every other fellow have his own way.
Don't object when he takes the money
you had put aside for the payment on
your mortgage. Don't kick IL he wanta
to borrow your meal ticket, and don't
get unseenly when he points out that
| II you will only trust him with youI
after tomorrow sure. You know you
| would pay 1t back day after tomorrow
IL you had promised to, so why
shouldn't her OF oourseI 81
COURSD! But, Ank, you and the bors
rover are two different entities, and
same circle with the borrowers ego.
In some other incarnation you were
doubtless an angel, but the chronic
borrower. 0 son, was hoptoad, and
don't you forget It Keep your jingls
! in your pocket.
this world. I hate to say 1t, but It i'd
true. 1t has taken me nearly forty
years to find 1t out, but I've found ID
out, all right. I've gone through life
hugging to my breast the hope that
| most Of the world was all right; that
1t wasn't necessary to be hard and
selfish to get on and make money,
But, Anxious Inquirer. IL had 1
chance to commence life over again
I'd spend my first dollar for a baseball
bat and I'd maui the expression oil
| the very first fellow who tried to hold
me up with the tngratiating grin and
the plausible lie about day after to-
morrow. I'd carry that club with mo
all my life and the fool killer wouldn't
be casting yearning looks my way as
he does now
But it's too late now, I've contracted
the habit Of being a Good Thing. T may
swear I won't, but the very next time
some fellow begins his touching speech
no hasn't said ten words before / be-
gin to loosen up. Being q Good Thing
is worse than alcoholism, and you
can't shake 1t off. or course, you may
be able to get enough kept back to
furnish you with coffee and sinkers
II you toll real hard but you'll wind
ur at last in the old stiffs' home
where the touchers cease from troubls
Ing and the undertaken does the rast.
So cease your ungodly striving to bd
Good Fellow. Be kind and geper-
Gus and sympathetic. Ank. but keep
sympathy under control. Be generou1
up to the point Of parting with youl
wad, then QUIT
Follow out this line Of advice and
you'll die worth
Aw. what's the user II a man il
born to be q Good Thing, he'll be It I'D
spite Of all the advice In the unit
verse. Though his own reason teia
him he's fool. yet he will go right
ahead being greater fool from daytd
Gay until death comes along and hits
him waIlop with the scythe. But
after all--WeIl Ank, IL you decide I'd
ignore this advice and go ahead bes
Ing good fellow, can't help LOVING
you for It. for. gosh fetch 1t, Ank, It'll
good to know there are some hunal
hearts in the world-even IL they mus
break in the end! Go ahead. Ank, and
when you're plumb down and out, REL
member there's maybe another world
where you'll possibly be lion and TIL
chonic TOUGHER fish-worm. hope sol
! fat salary Is attractive in the avea