The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-25
With the Long Bow
Eye natare's walks, shoot Jolly a. IT flies"
On the Perverseness of the Telephone Service When
Central Forgets to Shift Her Gum-story Of One Of
the Times When Patience Reached Breaking Point
and Father Reached for the Midnight AK. Il

Somebody has written essay "The Perverse-
of Inanimate Things" The moment you read the
caption line you understand.
The telephone could hardly be considered inani-
mate thing in the of the above, but it has a
certain perverseness of it's own, and essay The
Telephone Considered in It's Relation to the Use Of
Intoxieants" would be comprehended by the dullest
intellect.
Mr.. Moses has been having troubles Of his own
with the talk box, due perhaps to bad selection of
number and partially to Central forgetting herself when
she shifts her gum. Moses number was something
like this:
d. "Four-nine- steen-seizr-jay- two-call- double
-one-south- hello-there- central-wake-up''
The party line boosted bunch of similar numbers,
perhaps without the jay, possibly with two jays and
close call for three four ST. Paul numbers,
that out of town insane patients usually called up Mr..
Moses and heard bunch of richly favored
ton before Central saw the and filed the line
in two. ! =
Then Mr.. Moses would call up the chief operator
and do ghost danceip front of the phone that filed
all Central with joy TOO deep for words and made the
day bright and cheerful matter what occurred.
AS time went on Mr.. Moses began to get from six
to ten calls per day that belonged others. He was
aroused in the middle Of the night at dinner and
while shaking down the furnace. He called home
from the neighbors and torn from the stern JOY of
sitting the ashes.@
At last, breathing out blood and perspring every
pore he sought the president of the telephone company
in lbs own office and let out that sounded like
st. Anthony falls in flood.
The president of the company was indignant. He
roasted everybody from treasurer lneman He said
it would never again.
That night Mr. Moses was pulled out of bed at
1882 and asked if his name was George r. Johnson
Slowly but sternly, who had public duty
to perform Mr. Moses did drill into the woodshed in
his mighty and procured the small, cold 1t wnld
pain one to tell what followed, but the next day the
rival company had its phone in Mrs Moses, explain
ing to a neighbor, said:
Mr. Moses had been much annoyed by the service
and he removed the telephone in the night
~. ~
When Mayor Adam of Buffalo took hold and started
to clean out the Augean stables of the municipality
he invited suggestions from all citizens to improve the
city and better its people. Here he has re-
ceived:
That there be brass street signs and that mirrors
shall not be carted thru the Streets because they reflect
the sun into weak eyes.
That there be daily parades in summer To amuse
the children.
That the city supply megaphones to streetear CON,
past their streets
That the city buy and maintain herd of 1000
goats because there is sickness family where
a goat is. =
That law be passed restraining hens to their
owners premises, because ''hens use the next door
poreh Ior chlekenrun, but never lay eggs there
tell you II some Of amateur statesmen had
hold of the helm the old ship of state wouldn wobble
around like roWboat in a ehoppy sea. s-<st
@.**
The church choir is usually put down giddy, but
l. the girls at Brazil Ind, who made up the canary
department of the First Christian church of that place
put themselves well into the limelight by helping the
male members of social organization produce comic
opera. The rehearsals held Sunday afternoon
When the pastor, Rev. Mr. Day. learned that the mem
bers of his choir singing and dancing in abbrev
ated costumes in the comic opera choruses and on
Sunday afternoons, he was dumbfounded. Mr.. Day
announced that the evening would be devoted special
prayer services for the young ladies.
Often, alas too often, the choirs religion is q
veneer. Sometimes it cracks little. We have ALWAYS
trembled for the choir. -....- "A: J4R