Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-04-19
Man About Town .

pecially if they are the head on silver
! dollar.
Johnny, says woman onFifth street
TO her son, when that boy throws
stones at you again, come and call
me-" "Call youn' says Johnny, "Why
mother you could not hit barn"
A person in town who is noted for
putting a cent on the collection plate
Sundays, was asked the other day how
he liked the sermon. Poor, very
poor" said he. A friend remarked,
''what could you expect for cent"
When Mr.. Carnegie's new spelling
book comes out, instead of writing
trousers, we will write, sin the morn
ing he arose and put on his pane"
! A lady in town says her maid of all
work answered the door bell the other
day and stood talking with the visitor
some time. When he left she was
asked who he was. She answered, she
is gentleman looking for the wrong
house."
They are having revival up on the
Portage. One of the anxious seat the
other night in her excitement exclaim-
ed, II wish had the wings of grass
hopper" After things had quieted
down some, a fellow mourner asked
her why she wished she had wings
like grasshopper, she said,
$50 l could fly to heaven" "You fool
thing" she answered, ''don't you know
woodpecker would catch you before
you would get half ways
The sage of Portage remarks, "there
amt no more honesty. If he should go
into business tomorrow with ST. Peter
for salesman and the recording angel
for a bookkeeper, they would beat
! him.
Children" said one ofour ministers
addressing the Sunday school last
! Sunday, "why are we like flowers;
what do we have that flowers have"
A little fellow in one of the classes
answered, worms" +" The minister
turned his back to the scholars to con-
ceal his emotions.
At a meeting of the cracker barrel
club, in Mike Hogan's the other even
ing, one of the members remarked,
1--WE are fearfully and wonderfully
made.' ''Yes," said another member
sitting on a soap box, land we should
be thankful that we are made so we
can sit down"
A man in Potter county was hugged
by bear and died from the effects of
the grip.
Lofts wife turned into pillar of
salt. An Evangelical friend says,
that's what she got for being too
fresh"
One of our young married men says
ne bought his marriage license on the
instalment plan-one dollar down aud
his monthly salary the rest of his life.
1t is sorrowful to meet one of your
old time friends who is dyspepsia.
We shook with one yesterday who had
a pork and bean appetite and a milk
toast stomach. Blessed are they who
can digest birch bark and shingle tim
Der.
Sheriff Swope says the town at one
time had a champion long distance
jumper; he jumped his bail clear to the
! Kiondike
Bill Thomas found ten cent piece
in the craw ofa chicken he killed last
Sunday. She was evidently keeping
it until she got where she could buy
a couple OF beers.
Brother Pyle says love is much more
courageous when the light is turned
away down low.
We often meet ladies that use face
powder. We think some of them
we see, if they should meet a walking
delegate Of the whitewashers union,
would have to show their card
The window sill club at their last
meeting decided that 4 noisy noise
annoyed an oyster and that hypo-
Gritty was a boy that wen. 10 school
with a smile on his face
An itinerant photographer has pitch.
ed his tent at Sizerville 4 sign reads,
pictures taken of all kinds, from a
back tooth to q mouse's soul.n
Uncle Peter Beattie says people talk
about remarkable shooting he - the
best shot he ever made was due O.
luck. lie was hunting one day and
when il came noon, he was ten miles
from camp and hadn't seen a thing.
lie sat down under spruce tree and
ate lunch which he had in Mis- pocket,
smoked lis pipe and fsli asleep. He
woke up with a start and when he
opened his eyes he saw big rattle
snake within ten feet of him. he raised