The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-07-14
Read it, and we find dat his

1n-law come to lib wild him and run de
house; dat he fell off de she'd roof and
broke a rib; dat cherry chimney in de
house smoked; dat water got into his
cellar and floated de Eaters about; dat
his hired gal packed her buds and quit
at an hours notice; dat his COW had de
holler horn and somebody pizened his
dog. Alexander was great, but he had
to pay for it, and when he finally got
de measles and caught cold and was
brung to his dyin' bed he seemed pow
erful glad TO go.
Take somebody higher home. Take
George Washington, for instance. Eb-=
cry picture you see of him looks as
compIacent and smilin' as if he had
won a prize in lottery. You read of
him in history swellin' around and
DOM mighty little for his wages, and it
has got SO dat more'n millyon boys
in dis kentry am sighn' to be Wash
ingtons.
Turn de picture ODER and gaze on
de other side. Do you Imagine dat de
frost didn't kill his cowcumber vines?
Dat de hawgS didn't bust DER way
into his garden? Dat de ager didn't
slai.e his bones and make his teeth
fhatta-? Dat de crows didn't scratch
I'D his con and de Guild poDulaslli
walk OF wild his watermilyons lie.
ros.1ti buttons CT his shirt: he found
.szrps il lis bed; he found &c. hired
;-ai usia' lis toothbrush; he found cat
so.ses>o,y had stolen q hoe and bro
ken 10 TX: re cot kicked by d cay
VIE, he rliI.seti and got bit.by &c Old
hess wnaa lie cleaned him OF. Don't
-, -.r1l
V-ashin rton OF cose he was a big
nlaa and saved &c kantry, but he had
to pay for it Jest de same.
Most of you have a volume or two
Of Shakespeare, bought on de INSTALL
ment plan, in de house. When you get
sot down in de rockin' cheer, pipe in
mouth, and de winds howlin' around
outside, dat poetry reads so sleek and
slick dat you can't imagine any trub-
bles comm to de man who made 1t.
It's jest like holdin' jug Of 'lasses up
to your mouth as you sit on log in
de sunshine and lettin' de sweet stun
slide down your throat. You can't pos
sibly think Of Shakespeare and back
rent in de same minnit.
"And yet my frena. how did de great
man nh? De constable was arter him
from Monday mawnin' to Saturday
night. He was In debt Whereber deg
would trust him. He nebber met .
man unless he struck him tor guar
Ter. II dere was . cold snap b was
out Of wood. II deere was het wave
he had no white pants to wear. b.
kase de washwOman wouldn't come TO
"a ne ~ ~hAf
comm to her. He nebber had dawg
dat would stay Wild aim for Z week
He nebber driy ont into d. kent1y to
commune Wild nature dat humble
bee didn't sting him Of bull toss him
ober de pastur' fence. II he got SO
ahead Of de game and was gwine to
have chicken potpie Tor Sunday din
ner. whole wagonload Of his rela-
shuas would drive up and eat him out
OF house and home and go away mad
because he hadn't lot Of Rocky Ford
canfaioupes to finish on wild.
sDoorin de last years OF his life he
owned and run seben theaters. but
dere was 30 many deadheads dat he.
couldn't mcjke q cent Only = week
befo' his death, and while he had two
doctors feelin' az his pulse and Iookin'
wise, somebody broke Into his smoke
house and stole three sides Of bacon.
Let us come down to my own case.
You zee me waikiki along de street Wild
my plug het On md my snu6 brown
suIt and gold headed cane. Ny st0ln
ncn = puf1ed out am Iookins straight
ahead % me- Wid a. utmost dignity. Z
1ook - ebe<y boay ulka great man %
Nj 10y down u a. hank Is get =