The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-08-30
DRIFTWo0D
Axv eooD ouT OF NAzARETHf
BY PHIL H. ARMSTRONG;

ANY GOOD OUT OF NAzARETHt GA Fable of Pigs and One That Put Hi Feet In the Trough.1
 MT. HOE had so much corn that Mrs Hog insisted that they move into m Lne massive brown stone pen on Fifth Ave
 A little Miss Pig also belonged to the pair who had nice pink ears and dldn Psay so bs oud bss bssg Psw aSs aSay eat- at the big trough up at .NassaI where there were ever and eyer so many little lady pigs like herself but fact that they whispered and gruntsd about her fathers corn and how he ha<l made 1t out west by showing other hogs smaller than himself out of the yard; returned Ts med home home Where ethe older and wiser hogs, her mother, vowed she would announce the little pig as ,de- butante of society and give her big ball. :.
 The trio were nosing into the family through chewing and grunting con- tentedly for 1t was the dinner hour.
 .Jonathen" Mrs. Hog spoke sharply, tie spasmodic squeals, '.Jonathon, do you realize that Margurite Is to be in- froduced formally to society tonight?
 :Jonathon~ rattied his newspaper. He was looking oyer the market report.
 Ugh, what Is it you want-Corn?'' ?'' he thrust his front hoof into his mas sive sack, ragged from age, but from which he refused to part, as it contain
 "corn--no--not always coRN-can't you put aside the thought of ft long enough to consider the demands of so-
 Mrs. Hog rolled the word under her tongue as though 1t were delicious raw potatoe. s2
 is the chance of Margurite and means a lot to she and I. You can't act like you did when we was back in Omaha. There everybody looked your er--er mannerisms for the sake of your Corn, but New York is more particular"
 MT. Hog said nothing but rooted into . hs point t,,,ti is this; You must wear yo5 must straighten up--and you must not
 T guess by gum I kin look as sleek as the rest on 'em." he grunted ve-
 "No-you never can," Mrs. Hog pity tngly said, but you can remember what I tell you and try to act accordingly" if don't. He imagined every wrong eoul9 be righted by paying the freignt.
 Now please, Jonathon," entreated his wife almost in tears, please for good behavior tonight as the Count is coming and we must capture title for Margurite."
 5 Margurite did have . title among the well-bred schoolmates, but 1t sounded not unlike that chosen for comic song.
 Mir. Hog made no reply more audible than a porcinine grunt which was as near as he ever came to saying yes.
 The little daughter pig had very wisely refrained from speech during the meal. knowing 1t best to always do so when her parents were discussing faTx x1rffb rod- dish brown hair and bristles that had been combed curled and toiletted by a dresser until she was almost more than a pig. Her squeal, which out west had resembled the dulcient tones of buzz saw had been trained and modulated into very soft and blessing grunt. Though 1t had taken several eers of Paws corn to do 1t.
 When Mir. Hog walked away from the trough the mother turned to her
 Ny dear believe everything will go off smoothly tonight but
 Yes; I feel somehow that he will er--
 T am sure he wiIi'
 'So am
 'Bht what are we going to do7"
 He cant be left out"
 Certainly not"
 Then we must trust to Providence.
 The flow CTS are all up?'
 "Yes-everything is attended to--no expense has been spared.
 70. momer. and the Count has prom ised to come? Q. O. o. will throw. out
 Indeed you must-it. is your chance
 (Foreign pens are more attractive for some reason than home ones.)
 If Paw didn't have so much money and little more style"
 "Yes; even his speech is great en- barrassment to you and on all occas- ions."
 The front door closed with a slam
 Well. there he goes down the steps; let us go into the drawing room"
 Mrs. Hog watched him shamble down the stone walk and root open the car riage door.
 Then she saw him disappear from view and sat for an hour by the win dow grunting softly and wishing they had not been born hogs. If one could only buy blue blood
 Finally 1t grew late and the long row of carriages outside the big stone pen indicated that few society repre- overlook the grunts and bristles when they were half covered by large ears of luscious golden corn.
 At the door liveried butler ushered in the guests.
 Here and there bobbed Jonathon, a comical figure in his full dress suit, his front hoofs appearing like canvass covered hams and his hind ones like mlRhLY nunhS OI DdCOn- HIS RlG eyes took in everything and every
 He was trying to comply with his wife's wishes and imagined he was suc- ceeding admirably.
 At last the music began and the graceful couples glided over the poll ished floor,
 Miss Pig was radiant in her white her liberal display of expensive dia- monds out shone any there.
 Her ball dress would have support ed an ordinary family a month,
 As she moved about with the swish swish of society it reminded one of a hog rubbing It's back against fence.
 And the crowning glory was Nav Hog. She wore pink satin with rhine ian creation which had been imported especially for the occasion, offsetting it was a coiffure of enormous dAa- monds.
 But ali the beautiful clothes, and lovely flowers, the costly diamonds and expensive furnishings, were paid for by hogs, common everyday hogs that
 People thought of this but dared not say it.
 gurite, who was not dancing. only
 Groomed down to elegance and re- finement through many generations he appeared like the Proverbial Pearl cast before the coarser beauty of Miss Hog.
 She gave little short grunts of satis- faction and so well did she conduct herself that people forgot Tor mo- ment that she was a pig and the
 Come, Mademoiselle, into ze conser- vatory we will go If you will ze kind ness have"
 danfHtRd nlainlV her nOFcfnR