davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23

Did you ever drop in of an evening
and try to play pool under crossare
rom the chair-warmers?
It's the limit
1t has golf slapped to standselll,
and pony polo isn't one, two, nine.
From the moment you reach for your
cue the sofa Founders cut loose and
chin you to call-down
"Breaw 'em easy, now!" says old
Thirsty Bill.
All the afternoon he's been sitting up
with some ice and bottle Of Wilson
That's all.
He has to close one eye and squirt
the other when he looks at you, tut
he's as wise as a weasel.
II you stood him up he wouldn't know
the IA ball from the cuspidor.
One Of those old dubs that's never
happy unless he's teasing his throat
with booze or talk.
Then Red Necktie rolls his barrel In
the shop and cuts conundrum:
why don't you play the ball in the
side?"
Red Necktie only played one game
In his life and that was tag.
Somebody caught him then with the
goods, and all he has done since is cud-
die down In chair and tell people how
to make fancy with the cue.
Then the three Bixby Brothers
Shine, Polish and Glisten-start In to
write epigrams.
PLAY the round ball!" suggests
Shine.
Chalk your feet and you won't slip!"
observes Polish.
PLAY the yellow ball in the cozy
corner!" chirps Glisten, and old Thirs-
ty Bill laughs so heartily over this
Pineroism that Glisten swells up and
buys Thirsty another tub.
Then Long-haired Lemuel crawls
under the ropes and begins to offer sug-
gestions In hoarse whisper
Long -haired Lemuel won ffty-point
game once from the champion player
OF Tioga County and ever since he's
been sitting up in the rack throwing
down hints to the slow walkers.
Try the combination on the 7-ball
for the corner!" croaks Long-haired
Lemuel.
Now the gag is that from where Lem
uel sits you couldn't see the 7-ball with
the Lick telescope.
In hops Willie Mcsweet, the Village
Beauty.
Willie Is the lad with the loft full OF
light conversation, and Mama lets him
stay out till 9:15 every evening.
Willie travelled over the New York
Central once as far as Albany and when
he came home his fond parents had to
put baseball masks on his head, fore
and aft, to keep 1t from bursting
"Ah!" says Willie: playing pool?"
NO" remarks Glisten. they're put.
| ting up picket fence!" and old Thirsty
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
WANTS RIGID INSPECTION.
President Insists That Packing
Houses Should be Closely Watched.

President Insists That Packing
Houses Should be Closely Watched. ,
Washington Roosevelt
has added another chapter to the lit.
erature OF the meat inspection contro'
versy. 1t was not through any desire
OF his that the correspondence be-
tween himself and Representative
Wadsworth, chairman OF the commit.
tee on agriculture, was published In
its entirety. lnasmuch, however, az
Chairman Wadsworth deemed 1t de-
sirable that the letters should be pub
lished and gave them to the public.
the president regards It as proper to
complete the correspondence thus far
exchanged by the publication of his
reply to Mr.. Wadsworth's letter.
In his reply the president, while adj
hitting his error In stating that the
house substitute contained no provi-
sion for the making of inspections Of
packing houses al all hours OF the
day or night, says the substitute still
10 inadequate to meet the require
ments OF the situation. The president
says that after conference with Rep
resentative Adams of Wisconsin, q
member Of the agricultural commit
tee. he is convinced Mr.. Adams Will
accept the suggestion made to him
regarding the bill. He says that Mr..
Adams in each case Stated that he
personally would accept the alterations
proposed" These changes include the
elimination of the court review pro-
posed and dozen other alterations.
In the opinion Of the president, the
suggested changes would make the
house committee substitute "as good
as the Beveridge amendment" The
president adds that he Is not con.
cerned about the language Of the
amendment, but with the accomplish
ment of the object in view, thor
ough and rigid and not sham In
spsction."
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
BRITISH PRINcEsSEs ROYAL
Historic Presidents, Origin Of the
Title and Some Bear
ers of It.

Nothing In the list of the birthday
honors will crafty his majesty's sub
.jects more than the announcement that
the duchess of Fife, the kings eldest
daughter, will bear the style and title
of Princess Royal, and that the daugh-
tiers of her royal highness will bear the
title Of highness and the style of prin-
cess, states the London Telegraph.
The title Of Princess Royal" is en-
deared to an oder generation by the
fact that 1t was borne by the eldest OF
Queen Victoria's daughters, the deeply
loved and much lamented Empress
Frederick of Germany.
II is a common error to suppose that
the title is only conferred upon a daugh-
ter of the reigning house II she happens
to be the first born child. This is not
the case. 1t has been conferred on the
eldest daughter of the house, whether
first born or not, whether born before
the accession of her parents to the
throne or after. Before the reign of
Henry VIII. the daughters Of the SOW
ereign do not appear to have borne any
distinctive title save that of "the Lady
Margaret" or "the Lady Elizabeth" as
the case might be. But Henry VIII
made more than one alteration In the
styles and titles Of royalty. He was. for
instance, the first English sovereign
who bore the title Of Majesty" his
predecessors being content with "Sov-
ereign Lord Highness." The step, how
ever, was taken probably to put himself
upon equal terms with his brother Of
Spain, who was the first European mon
arch to style himself majesty. He also
caused his eldest daughter to be de.
scribed as Princess Mary"-the queen
who afterward came to be popularity
known by less attractive designation
1t was not till the reign Of Charles l
that the kings eldest daughter was com.
monty called Princess Royal.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
kentuekIans Honor Daniel Boone.

Louisville. Ky.--Friday was Daniel
Boone day Of the Home Coming
jubilee. The floral parade took place
early In the day. The glorification Of
Daniel Boone came later in Cherokee
park. About dozen hneal descend
ents OF the great pioneer were presl
ent. The statue OF Boone, modelled
by Miss Enad Yandell OF Louisville
and presented to the city OF Louis-
vile by c. C.. Bicknell, was unveiled.
Breckenridge Castleman OF Louisville
made the presentation address of Mr.
Bicknell and the acceptance for the
board OF parx commissions was made
by Col. Durrett.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
SHOT DOWN At
/ HIS own DOOR:
Trouble Over Land Between
Cattlemen Results In
BlOOdShed.
Tragedy In Jackson Hole Country,
Charles Morris Being Run Down
and Shot a Few Feet From
His Own Doorstep.

Salt Lake City.-A telegram re-
ceived in this city brings the news OF
tragedy enacted in Wyoming.
Thomas Sewall shot and instantly
killed Charles Marris with a Win
chester rife on Wednesday. The
shooting took place at Jackson's Hole
and was the result of an old feud.
Marris was run down and shot few
steps from his own doorstep. He was
well known in this district and In
Wyoming. Sewall was arrested, and.
for fear Of lynching, was taken BY
way Of st. Anthony TO the jail in
Evanston, Wyo.
Both the men were cattlemen, and
had had trouble over and reserves.
Marris was driving Sewall's cattle
from his place when shot down.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23

Bill hands out laugh which nets him
another dipper.
Then there's the Mister Man you're
playing with.
Twas entered In handicap that even
ing with chap named Biddle.
Biddle is one of those low comedians
who throw out catch-lines and wait for
the laugh.
His line of gags dates back 10 the
days when the b. & o. was first built.
Nowadays when ! hear pool-room
comedian speaking lines about getting
seasick on the b. & o. I'm wise to the
fact that he dips In the Farmers Al
manac for his comedy stun.
Biddle likes to knock.
He says he'd rather be Alan Dale
than be President, because Dale can
throw the hammer and get back to his
safety deposit vaults without scratch.
He says it's a cinch to be dramatic
toaster and trimmer when you can hide
In the tall grass and do your knocking
through a long-distance newspaper.
Anyway, that's neither here nor
there.
what are you playing fort" said
to Biddls.
THE ball I'm looking At" he an
swsrsd
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
POBpIELSKT'S VIEW.
German Minister Of Agriculture Con.
dennis Packers.

Berlin.-Crown Prince Frederick
William and General Won Pobdielski,
the Prusslan minister OF agriculture,
opened the agricultural fair in sub
urb Of Berlin on Thursday. They
both made speeches eulogizing Ger
man farming and the wisdom Of the
state in protecting the peoples food
by law.
General Pobdielslti in connection
with the opening gave an interview to
the Lokal Anzieger regarding the Chi.
cago meat packing sensation, during
the course of which he was quoted a.
saying:
what was taking place at Chicago
was well known in the United States
One can only be filled with horror by
the information. cannot express
publicly what know and can onl,
seek to protect our population.
Daily in Chicago 10000 cattle are
slaughtered and numerous other ant
mails are brought to the slaughter
houses already dead.
"Only three veterinaries are as
signed to 10000 hogs daily. What can
they see? with us. one veterinarian
or Inspector does not investigate
more than twenty animals.
mot long ago, large steamer ar
rived at Emden, loaded with meat, al
OF which had to be thrown overheard
Many OF the animals were sick or dead
before they were slaughtered.
Efforts have also been made In
Denmark to send bad meat into Ger
many and similar meat has beer
brought here from Russia. II 10 estab
lished that ship load OF animals
brought from Russia to Stettin were
suffering from Siberian plague. A
great number OF the veterinarians In
trusted with inspecting animals II
Russia are incompetent"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
Sea Level Proposition Killed.

Washington.-The house on Friday,
by vote of 10 to 36, voted in favor
OF lock canal across the Isthmus Of
Panama. The introduction by Rep
resentative Lttauer Friday OF the
amendment TO the Item in the sundry
civil bill appropriating twenty-five
million dollars to continue the con-
struction OF the Panama canal, pro-
yiding that no part OF that sum shall
be used In the construction OF a sea
level canal. was done with the ap.
prevail OF the president.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
Murdered In His Bed.

Los Angeles, Cal.--Joseph schezk,
A laundryman, was shot and instantly
killed at his home here by two bur
glars, who awakened him and his wife
IN their bed room. The murderers
escaped and there is no clew to their
identity save that Mrs. Schezk de-
clares them 10 be Americans OF heavy
build. On being awakened. schezk
spoke to the intruders and was i'm.
mediately fired upon. One shot pierced
his right eye and another entered mis-
heart.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
prouth Broken BY storm.

Topeka, Kan.-After the hottest
day of the year, north and central
Kansas was on Sunday night visited
byAterrific rain and thunder storms,
breaking the extended drouth which
had already irrepsrably damaged the
what crop and threatened the corn
crop. Reports received here are msa-
ger, but It Is known that the storm ID
geoeral in the northern section OF the
stSke. In Marshall county the storm
Is % terrific that all wires are down
and food damage is threatened.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
Friend Was Falthiess.

Mexico City.-Nicaraguan society is
excited over the case of DR.. Julian
Irias, who killed DR.. Alta-Mirano. a
politician and cabinet minister. Irias
had occasion to visit Costa Rice and
left his wife In care OF Alta-Mirano,
who was his Intimate friend. During
lrias' absence Alta-Mirano is alleged
to have grossly insulted Sonora Irias,
anG when Irias returned be demanded
an explanation, when Alta-Mirano
stabbed Irias in the arm. Finally
lrias killed Alta-Mirano with pistol
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
Are plunderlns and killing.

warsaw-A band of terrorists held
up mail wagon between Kroiniewice
and Klodawa. The terrorists killed
the driver and his horses and two
soldiers who were escorting the man,
and plundered the mails and de-
camped Five terrorists shot and
killed police officer and his wife
while they were walking the street
The assasslns escaped. The Jews OF
Warsaw were uneasy. but at present
there is no intention of anu-Jewish
outbreak.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
NINE KILLED, FORTY HURT.
Explosion Works Havoc With Brit
ish Steamer.

IAverpool.-Nine men were killed
and about forty were wounded, the re-
suit of terrific explosion Thursday
on the British steamer Haverford, OF
the International Navigation company
The vessel, which is commanded py
Captain Nelson, arrived here on
Wednesday, having left Philadelphia
June 2. landed her passengers and
proceeded to Huskisson dock early on
Thursday in order to unload. the
steyedores were In the act OF loosen
ing the steamers matches. when sud
denly most violent explosion oc-
Cured. II blew OF the matches, rent
the docks and hurled dead and wound.
ed men In all directions. Several
bodies were dismembered and the
deck resembled the floor Of oharnel
house.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
MAY CUT OFF LABOR.
Revolution In Guatemala Likely to
Check Blg Contracts.

Mexico City.-Chief Engineer Mil
Ter, in charge OF the construction OF
the Pan-American railway, now act
lively building down TO the border OF
Guatemala, thinks there is a possibil.
ny Of the revolution now in progress
in Guatemala cutting of temporarily
the supply of labor. He expects the
road to be completed to San Penito,
which is the port of Tapachula. by
July of next year, when 1t will be
quick work completing the line to the
Guatemalan border, the country being
level.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
IT'S UP TO THE COMPANIES.
Must Pay Losses In San Francisco o.
tl be Ruined.

San Francisco The officials OF Cal
,fornia are agreed, IT is said. that the
insurance companies which refuse to
meet their obligations and pay their
losses In full will not only be driven
from the state but ruined before the
world II the widest publication OF their
methods can accomplish that END. N.
surance Commissioner u. Marion WON
is backed by Attorney General Weop'
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23

then smashes in to seven balls and
claims everything drops?
Don't they jolt you?
BY this time Thirsty Bill had all his
lights up.
He had the borders burning and
calcium spot" followed him around.
Can shu play com'nashun on Eat
pink monkey ash settin' on green ball?"
he asked; and then he went down anG
out
put up my cut and blue pencilsd the
push.
Pool is a great game, but the chair.
crouchers put crepe on II.
Copyright. by G. W. Dillingham; Coz
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
Jews Take Revenge.

Biaiystok, via warsaw.-In order to
avenge the Victims OF massacre, Jew
ish revolutionists. hidden on the roofs
OF houses, behind fences and the dra.
peries of windows fired all day Sat.
urday with revolvers and rifles at the
government buildings and workmen
and peasants passing In the streets,
and one band ambushed In factory
fired ON the station and approaching
trains. At least hundred persons
were killed during the day
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
Riot In Mexico Laid at Door Of Fed
"a. Grafton OF Miners.

washington.-In letter filed with
the state department and dated at
Cananea, Sorona, Mexico. June II, W..
c. Greene, president of the copper
company at whose mines in Cananea
the rioting occurred early this month.
charges that agitators from the West.
ern Federation Of Miners had been
through the mines melting the Mex
leans, and tells how he was warned
of plot TO dynamite the bank and TO
anaugurate a revolution against Pres
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
WIDESPREAD DISSATISFACTION.
Foreign Merchants Are Practically
shut out,lof Manchuria. a

Pekin. Widespread and growing
dissatisfaction is being manifested by
American and European merchants.
banks and shipping firms against the
Japanese administration in Manchuria.
The Japanese occupation under the
Portsmouth treaty continues until
next April. and in the meantime for
eign commerce is almost blocked, the
Japanese merchants gaining advan-
tages which make II increasingly DIFF
ficult to compete with them. Foreign
goods enter Manchuria through Port
Newchwang. where the regular Chi
nese customs duties are levied, while
the Japanese import through Dalny
and Antung without duty. ftE n
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
WILL NOT ACCEPT.
Arizona Is Expected to Reject Joint
Statehood.

Phoenix, Ariz.-The signing Of the
statehood bill has created no especial
excitement here, as It was an expect
ed happening There is. however, a
feeling OF relief that the suspense is
over, and the situation has been clar-
flied by definite conditions. In this
section seems to be one general idea.
and that is at the November election
the proposition of Joint statehood will
be emphatically defeated.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
PRECIOUS STONE OUTPUT.
Value Of United States Production In
1905 Was $326,s5o.

Washington.-The United States
geological survey. in a bulletin on the
production and importation of precious
stones In the United States in 1905,
says the value OF the output OF pre-
cious stones in 1905 reached $326,35O,
of which the yield from sapphire
mines amounted to sl25,000. Next in
value was the turquoise output. quoted
at $4,000.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
Below thu Horizon

Jerks seems to be prosperous now.
He says his income Just at present Is
out of sight"
II should think It would be; he lives
so far beyond it."-Philadelphia Press.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23

There's a slight difference of opinion
between Biddle's eyes-they have oppo-
site points of views, as II were.
| figured 1t out that the ball he was
looking at was the one Thirsty Bill was
fondling, but didn't say anything.
l was due to hear loud holler from
the old 'un IL Biddle played that ball.
What is 1t now?' inquired.
THE one | hit"
Did you ever meet one of those fell
lows who says: "The one hit" and
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
No Old Ladies'.

Eyes. we have got our Old Ladies'
Home completed, but we can't get any
inmates for It,"
Call II The Young Ladies' RE-
treat. Houston Post.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1906-06-23
Nothing Else Left.

Mother-You haven't a single accom-
plishment. Whatever do you expect TO
do with yourself?
Daughter-Get married, Suppose. -
Cleveland Leader
The DeLand weekly news. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1887-190?, 1906-03-30
LITTLE GODS JOKE

I've woman loOksi into the mans
eyes aud sTiled- Sc toyed 6arslessly
Nth the leaves VI tae plant
You havsHt changed very much"
che said
No" said the nan. 4 Uas Erowa
when kRsS you. whereas you Ners
but . child"
-Ah!"
"A ehiId u many possibilities" As
concluded.
Have any q tnsn been TsalIuedT"
she asked. musingly.
AN u them"
"Ah,"
lie laughed softly.
How loved you" he said.
How loved you!" she replied.
And Ne were horribly pOOr-why
didn't we marry? POOT young Ds0pls
generally do"
On, Ne we're wise a. well a. very
poor and very much In love. Our wis-
dom saved US she said
And nOw. you're rich and I, too.
hAye-sOmthing
\ married a rich man." she mur-
INJURED. slowly.
lie wondered u she was happy.
We're almost middle-Aged. aren't
We" she asked after q pause.
''Aiddle-Aged?'
4 found four gray hairs today" she
said.
Gray hairs don't count when they
can BE- counted" he remarked.
All! I've heard that before"
You have grown rude since you
have become middle-aEsd
= wasn't rude fifteen years ago.
No: bat you wCfe brutality frank.
and my heart Nss consequently broken
fOT three months after our engagement
ended"
The DeLand weekly news. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1887-190?, 1906-03-30

How long has u been since you
aaTriedy" ne asked
Ten years. And YOU
Oh. I've never married I harmed
By eNperience that women In th-se
DAYS didn't marry POOr. Ambitious
young men. when I grew rich enough
Ia think of u. found the hAbil Of
bachciOrhOOd too hard to bTeaE
Then she looked intO bis eyss again.
H. smilsd
You lOoked then just a. you DID, ne
teen years ago when you gave me 1y
goodbye"
I he NUman's che, ~ dashed and her
syrs bufRed brightly She hooked s,ea
mote Like she had l,'Ok-d then
4 never thought tO SCI yOu agala."
she said dreamily
Ar you sOrTy? ," BE- asked
she smiled again.
sorry! Oh. no." And there AS .
thrill VI great thahkfulness IN her
NUice Her eyes lsrOked into has Nith
the old tender message callihg him ~
her The man bit his lips she Sas
Openly encOuragihg him. aud the dear
little girl Vt tue old days Nas gons tie
had not forgotten that she vas mar
ried. Al. that other man
Together they wandered into the
large. cOOl conservatory aud sat duNa.
Bu, the spell had nONn she Mas a
airt q married niu, The Old-Itme
sweetheart had ErOwn into this.
hut the girl he had loved in the long
aEO had married another man. aud aAd
no right To lO0k ~ him In that way.
You will call upon @s!' she asked
after 4 while
Thank you. no. shall leave the
city in the morning ! am sorry"
viii yOu return sOOn."
4 think I shall never come back
be replied YEARLY. he was disaP-
pointed. This was q little bit harder
than the teary farewell hftecn years
aEo. But he still loved her In spite
Of all. he wanted % take her IN his
arms and kiss her again and again
AZ bis words the light died Ou' q
her beautiful face. Her lips turned
white. ''Good-bye.' she ssid.
-GOOd-bye- Then they shook hands
formally. she did not hook AZ him.
The Sewers around her SEEMED 10
dance Rleefully AZ her misery. and the
universe grew dizzy and black
After be LETT her. the memory u her
Erev upon him day b. day. All the old
love came bach % him. multiplied .
thOusAnd-ioId BY the ffteen years q
famine Ne vent over seas "a forEet
hOw she looked thai evening 81 the
dinner. with the sumptuous beauty %
q woman and the tender sWeetness 20 .
girI But she Vas married
thus passed . year. Thea came 20
him this letter:
Ny friend. would any nsws 81 me
b. welcome 10 yOuf Mayhe not but
sinre . am 20 b. In yOur city Coz . feu
days aext wesk and doat know any
one there bat yoa. ! SHOULD b. glad tn
see an old friends fare. n u wtil b. 20
no annoyance 10 you. of eOurSe want
yoa to meet my husband Yes We
we're married last month and are tour
ing the continent noW. ! hardly thirk
you approve of secoad marriages. but
"a! Jimmy. . had been alons. . wid0w
snd chiIdlsas Cor Eve ysarA Tor Cd
tines SAKE lI0uise"
And hs had not knOwei
The DeLand weekly news. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1887-190?, 1906-03-30

Mr.. o. ". Evans. Clearwater Nan
writes My husband hay ~h'k for
lIr,-. u,snthS. The d,-tWrs said Re
had ruisk consumption. We prWursi
Isitlc ~ Hallarl's II"r,.h"und ~
-''p. ans IL ,urs-i him. That Was six
Years asa and Siu,-r then Ne have
eiaayS Ir;i lssitle in tlie house
We rAnnat 'lo witl,"ut IT, For ~oug Is
iI.d ,-ul,ls q has Ha e,IuaL -. :sss' ant
- a. 40 al druggists.
IDuins = C:s,psl Ila-ia~SS.
A writer Who spends mis- summers
a. the scasaOTe tells the following
uOry. An ignorant countTyman Who
cav The "a for the FIRST tine VAS
ulch impressed With the effect ~
t.c blue water. and asked a fisher
man u h. could tell hin the owner.
- h. would like To hay a Ea''oR TO
"a q home TO his wife. The Hshcr-
hiah replied. BROADLY:
Us. nae maB-Ne own a."
Land Sakez." exclaimed the rus
To-. Could you sell me q gallon for
s. cents.
The latter departed with his Pur-
chase Returning later In the day.
after the tide hsd gone out. he - ID
On Silent wonder M the water. whicn
had rrceded far from the beach
'LaEIme." be exclaimed. ''dIn't
they do . trade!"-HarPer Weekly.