The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-04-03
D RI T w o o D
BY PHIL II. ARMSTRONG.

 When a man raises row he needn't ex- pect any good to grow out of 1t.
 It isn't always a sign of bravery for a man to go to the front. Sometimes 1t means the front row at the theatre. Life is made up of a barrel of expectation to aE acorn full of reaiizations.
 Some men are so bald headed they won't take off their hats in the presence of ladies fer fear they'll look half naked.
 A little knowledge of women is a danger ous thing
 It Is hard to break the ice with a person who treats you cooliy.
 You can get food for thought by digesting the table of contents.
 Some men are like balloons They think they can fly higher than every body else bt canse they are full of hot air. We read so often of mems misdeeds and hear so seldom of their good ones that we think the world much worse than it is. If there is an affinity between a spinster and a cat there is also one between man and a kitty"
 Where marriage is bliss tis folly to be suspicious.
 An editor is like a barber-part of his bus mess consists in clipping
 The fellow who planted his foot on the floor 90 hard that 1t injured his corns real ized what Is meant by a sensitive plant soft answer turneth away wrath and hard one inviteth the undertaken. The tin of the tongue-oral information of sure thing.
 Twenty-three-- see skedoo; skedoo- see twenty-three.
 When a woman has buried three husbands she begins to talk about 1t as unfeeinsiy as though she had planted flower buios. The trouble with the world is that every man thinks he was intended for some'hihg better than his present occupatioh' rh rassou Pegasus has so few riders these days is because the average poet mis- takes him for a farm mule
 None There.
 Jess: Did he prove his love for you? < Tess; No; even the lawyers Tn the preach of promise suit couldn't prove It.
 Pats Opinion.
 Dat stood and watched with keen interest the gesticulations of deaf mute who had smashed his finger then aomSest SXSeameo most pro- Well, if that ain't tn dohoessa s,, ihos' pio- fane silence Oi ever listened to-
 We All Know That.
 Lady Teacher: Now a boy should first learn that 1t Is important for him to strike out for himself. Trustee You are right; num- II he ooh he'll get a black eye" "wbep They go out Thick and Come Back
 Thin. u,hor they po out thick and come back thin (Tbese story manuscripts) that's when You see the erst-while author grin When they go out thick and come back thin When they 20 out thick and come back thin It means some flour in the bin; That. you can pay Jones back that ten when they go out thick and come back thin, When they go out thick and come back -thin You're glad to let the postman in For a small envelope means its "tin When they go out thick and come back thih'
 M MT. Buebrd's had his throat ah 'isu uP Last few days
 Been a settin' dar a shiverin' whar de Peach tree sways.
 But he's lookin' kinder chipper An he's bout to sing MT. Bluebird femme hear yo' whistle "Come on Spring,
 Even a worm will turn when the early bird catches him.
 He who fights and runs a paper won't live to fight many days Tho editor of Punch has resigned after fortv-four-years attempt to prht Joh' in that paper But there's nothing funhA about that.
 One touch of winter just now makes thu whole world sniff. Take everything from a man and h' | couldn't be expected to keep ms temper ,,,ar who courts death doesn't have stay late Tho self confessed murderer will hang or his words
 MT. Smith: Your son has an impedimen " Aunt Mary: Gwan whr folks-Ah know it-he ain't been off to college fo' muffin
 When A poet is struck with an idea Il doesn't hurt him; only the poor editor ha' to suffer
 When young woman calls a young man down for Kissing her she displays about ai much real indignation as a President doe.