The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1906-12-20
TOMMY'S
CRAIGS
BY G. r. mILLIN
Copyright, by Joseph b. Bowles.J

amiable personal qualities. he had
hospitable. At the same time he pos
sessed parsimonious pecularities that
made him the subject of innumerable
good stories, adding considerably to
the amusement of all who knew him
Still he was, indeed the last man in
the world we would have expected tc
be bowled out in an act not quite
consistent with severest rectitude. Sc
when Dickson came hurriedly into our
hotel at Boulogne and told us that
Tommy was proposing to do a little
smuggling, we were all disposed tc
be incredulous.
We had picked up Traddles on ouI
way home from an autumn holiday in
Normandy. It was the morning OF
the day on which we had arrived tc
take the boat across from Boulogno
that Dickson told us how he had
chanced to spy the solemn, immacu
late Tommy in the very act of making
up brown-paper parcel of dried bot
anical specimens, in the middle OF
which he was cunningly concealing
some bundles of Petits Bouquets. evi
IDENTIFY In the hope of smuggling them
We were all highly diverted. and
agreed that it was just like Tommy to
grow parsimonious over a small i'm
portation of the best cigars.
We felt we had got Tommy on
toast this time, and we owed him a
long score for practical witticisms
played upon u.s. Now we could pay
him in his own coin, although we
couldn't agree as to the best method
OF doing II. What we wanted was to
expose Tommy's little enterprise with.
out doing him any real harm, and
that was just what we couldn't quite
see our way to do.
Kingstone took no part In the dis.
cussion until we seemed to have
reached the end OF our inventive re.
sources; then he quietly announced
that he had a capital plan. and II we
would follow his directions. Tommy
should have startling show-up. With
the promptitude of a master mind in
command OF dolts Kingstone first
held a whispering aside with the sim.
ple-hearted Dickson, and then sent
him away on some errand. and with
many an irrepressible chuckle. he
proceeded to initiate the others into
the parts each would play in his
plot.
According to instructions. we began
by displaying an inquisitive interest
in Traddles' parcel as soon as we got
on board the boat. We offered to lend
him a small portmanteau to which he
might transfer his botanical speci.
mems. II would be more convenient
and would look better.
Then we got up a fervent interest
in botany, and begged to be allowed
to inspect his collection. This he
fatty refused, which naturally sug.
gested something mysterious about
the contents of his parcel and we
chafed him a good deal. limiting at
contraband goods.
AS our voyage progressed. we
agreed that Traddles was not happy.
Apparently. the parcel weighed on
his mind, and quite unscrupulously we
took every means of increasing his
uneasiness. We enlarged on the
folly OF smuggling, and told tales OF
ignominious exposure and heavy
fines.
"Fines!" echoed one OF our party.
They don't fine nowadays. Since
the last act the penalty for SNUG.
Cling is Imprisonment. without the
option of fine"
Poor Tommy's face was study
looked altogether moody and miser.
able.
AS we drew near the end OF the
voyage Traddles looked as II he
would give worlds for the opportunity
to drop the wretched parcel over.
board If only he could get out OF
our sight for a moment. We took
good care. however, that there should
be no backing out of the enterprise,
and as Tommy marched down the
gangway, he looked, or we fancied he
did, little white about the mouth.
but he held his virtuous head so up.
right, and dandled the parcel with
such an air of innocent concern, that
he might have passed through but for
the astounding action of Dickson.
who hurried forward and tipped a
wink to the man in buttons as he
passed
Anything to declare?" was the
phlegmatic official inquiry, as Tommy
passed.
Nothing dutiable." declared the
audacious Tommy, with an air of
dignity that should have carried con.
yction. only botanical specimens
and-and-one or two other things.
Not dutiable, assure you"
Tommy tried very hard to maintain
an aspect of outraged dignity as the
officer resolutely began to unite the
parcel, but he couldn't help betray.
ing the greatest agitation. He stood
the very picture of a detected Grim
inal He protested, then he clustered
and coaxed.
II was, of course, useless, and the
official was deaf to entreaty. With
heartless deliberation he first opened
an outside paper, then an inner pa,
per, and then began TO rummage
among the botanical specimens, In
the center of which he found--a small.
crusty loaf of bread! .l
1t was. of course. the very famil
lar joke that Dickson had perpetrated
under Kingstone's direction. He had
-. ..T. Ss-s