Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-03-31


tant was a battleship moving ten knots an
hour. rocking slightly over the wnTes and
rolling from the recoil Of the gun. Inc
men reached down into the hold of the YES
sci and took cartridge and she'll weighing
three-Quarters OF ton. swung It up forty
feet. put 1t into gun and dred 1t at the
target. They reached down and got an
And from that moving ship, out Of ten
shots they put nine thirteen Inch hoies
through that target one mile away In five
minutes by the watch Men that can DO
that are certainly worth $1.42 per capita"
II 4 X
A cynical man of the world was engaged
In a curbstone conversation on 9Th street
the other day with former army chaplain.
when they were Joined by a rather nervous
looking individual. The former chaplain in
troduced the nervous man to the cynical
person In this manner:
Mr.. Smith. allow me to present to you
Capt. Blank"
AS the captain proffered his good right
hand to the man Of the word the latter
drawled out:
"A-h. Captain Blank. Ell? Salvation
Army, canal boat On military"
* *
MY first impression of you" remarked
Serene Z. Payne to Secretary Wilson of the
Agricultural Department, was one day in
the House. when you came down the aisle.
with the lungs of an animal which had been
afflicted with pleuro-pneumonia, and made
a speech about the necessity of looking after
beef animals.
"I don't know" added the New York
representative. laughing. but what you
were then trying to make yourself Secretary
of Agriculture
81 was trying to have the bureau of ami
NAL industry established replied Mr.. VIII
son. "and did it. don't know Of any act
In my congressional life OF which / am more
proud: for that bureau has been Of great
benef1t TO the country
Il X
One of the spectacular features of the
last presidential campaign was an organiza
ton of boys In this city known as THE
Roosevelt Zouaves." The youngsters wore
costumes of the most fantastic design and
haring oolors. They formed band of
music. the instruments comprising several
mouth organs, a drum and a triangle. The
lads provided themselves with homemade
transparencies, which were carried In line
on the occasion OF their night parades. The
legends on the transparencies were painted
with q marking brush by a grocer's boy,
and some of the inscriptions were: Vote
for Teddy. He's all right" The Rough
Welt and Fairbanks or bust
When the great crowd was assembled In
front of The Evening Star building on cleo
ton night reading the fashlight bulletins
from every nook and corner In this broad
land giving the progress Of the battle OF
the ballots the Roosevelt Zouaves attracted
much attention while marching past, giving
their war cry: 'Roo-Roo-R Roosevelt wins,
four years more for Teddy
The first meeting OF the zouaves since
election times was held several evenings
ago In South Washington stable, and the
question was debated as to whether the
organization should be continued.
TOO long to wait" said one.
Nav" exclaimed another, Tets keep in
trim for the next fite."
A red-haired lad, known by the cognomen
of Foxy" solved the problem finally, ms
motion being unanimously adopted with
chorus of Juvenile yells.
'Say, feliers" ne began, 'Ill tell youse
how yer kin keep Up de zouaves an pc IN
line for nineteen eight. Let's make II sI
base bali club an call it de Roosevelt
Rustlers "
Street car conductors find that there Is
truth in the saying, variety is the spice OF
life"
'If It were not for the variety of expe-
riences we have" one of the conductors re-
marked, ''our work would not be very pleas
ant Sometimes. however, the variety gets
q little too spicy
He mentioned the recent experience of a
conductor upon whom a belligerent passen-
ger drew revolver and made him turn all
the colors of rainbow. Another experience
OF recent date was that OF q conductor VINO
got into a scrap with man Of the proper
tons of a slugger.
ifThen there are many persons" the con-
ductor continued, who think 1t is great to
bsa the company out of a fare just be-
cause the company Is looked upon as a
corporation. Some OF them will board a
car, hold ticket and then hide 1t with a
newspaper. Many of the readers on cars
try this scheme and many of them sue
coed Usually when man is seen under
such cover l look him over carefully and
make certain that have collected his fare
Others pretend they are asleep and become
very Indignant when aroused, but such ones
Will usually give up the price OF the fare
eventually and say something about paying
twice for one ride"
While the conductor was telling some of
his experiences lady who had been read
ing thrilling story pushed the button and
stood In the middle of the car as If she
were bewildered.
"At which end shall 1 get Off, she in
Qured of the conductor
AT either end was the response OF the
conductor; they have both stopped"
"Smarty." remarked the passenger. as she
stepped from the car.
1t was the last trip OF the car, which was
to remain at the country end of the line
over night. Seated in one corner Of the car
were a young man and woman who had evil
IDENTIFY been In the city at some midnight
supper. They were troubling nobody and
the conductor thought a walk in the bracing
air might do them good. He knew that they
were going far beyond their getting OF
place. but II was not until he reached the
terminus of the line that he shouted: End
OF the route: all out"
"Wbat?' shouted the excited passenger
END OF the route. and you let US come all
the way here7
His was nor that OF a ChyJstJar
but the conductor enjoyed 1t and would not
have him arrested,
You see." said the conductor to one of
the passengers on the car, lit sometimes
takes a man who Is more than dummy to
get along and keep out of trouble II he
wants TO run q street car"