davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1906-03-29
XIV.

VIZ stared at the blank stones, but
M they returned no sign from their
ia unavailing grayness. The silence
began to speak in that gloomy
place. Recovering myself, / put down
the lantern and considered. First |
put the key in my pocket, a definite
precautiOn which was to innucnc.
strangely the history Of this narrative.
1t was not conceivable that any one
could have opened the heavy door
when it vas locked, yet the prisoner
was gone. "If he IL gone" said |
aloud in order to reasgurc myself, "hr
must needs have gone by some hole"
That was incontroyertible. ! decided,
too, that the means Of escape must lie
within the dungeon. Once more In.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
mot so DARNED FUNNY"
.'Uncle Dave" Thought He Had List
ened TO Mark Twain, But
He Hadn't

Col. Armory Knox. of Texas Stiff
inqs and border ranger fame, was the
arst manager of the daily newspaper
that ex-Gov. Douglas established at
Rrockton. Just before the paper was
launched Mr.. Douglas introduced the
colonel TO the Democrats of Brock
ton at a banquet. Col. Knox made q
little speech, in which he said thar
he would furnish the brains for the
noner. while Mr.. Douglas would fur
rish the money Then he told very
good story, thus:
old Uncle Davis went from a little
,,,uaqe to Boston 10 hear Mark Twain
,ectnre at Music hall. BY mistake he
aot into fremont temple and heard
! discourse by Rev, Joseph Cook.
when he got home and was seated
IN the grocery store among his Gro
NOS one of them asked: well, I'm.
ole Dave. was that there Mark Twain
funny?"
why. yes" drawled the old man,
che were funny, but" musingly' ne
weren't so darned funny
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30

Philadelphia-The quicker your
dog can develop a case of appendicitis
the quicker will your neighbors be to
acknowledge that he belongs to the
fashionable canine set. II he has
faraway look in his eyes, or whines
continually, or refuses to eat, or, most
important of all, if he limps in his
right hind leg, he has IT, all right.
The symptoms mentioned are those
given by a prominent veterinarian,
and If a dog has one Of the habits
it is said he may have only a slight
attack of the disease, but If he has all
four, then nothing but the removal OF
the offending organ will save his life.
Paratus. the mascot of the torpedo
boat Hopkins, which is now lying at
League island, is the first dog in this
city 10 undergo the operation to have
its appendix removed.
The operation on the dog was sug-
gested by one of the surgeons at
League island, who gave the dog a
thorough examination, at the request
of the jackies. who believed their
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
PRINCIPAL NEWS BUREAU.
Barber Who Was the Chief
Medium of Information in
General.

A talkative and self-important young
court stenographer went with detailed
Judge to one OF the feud towns in the
Kentucky mountains to do his part in
holding term of court.
1t was small place, relates the Satur
day Evening Post, far from railroad
and the inhabitants were all feudists of
one clan or another, After day or two
at the little hotel the stenographer said
to the hotel keeper: Where's the bar
Der shop"
Amt no barber shop here" the
boniface replied. I'VE all mostly lets
our hair grow"
But can't | get shaved anywhere?"
ooh, yes, reckon you kin. Uncle Joe
down to the cobbler's shop sometimes
shaves folks"
The stenographer went to Uncle Joes
and found the cobbler to be mild man
nered old man, with flowing gray whisk-
ers and a pale and beatific blue eye.
Uncle Joe said he could shave him and
he got out razor and a shaving mug
The stenographer sat down on chair
and leaned back. He waited in some
trepidation, but the old man was skill
full and gave him good shave.
1t was necessary for the young man
to talk, so when the barber was on his
throat he said. Good many murders
around here, amt there?"
"Well, subj" the barber said, I'VE
don't call them murders. Howsomever.
there is some killin's, if that is what
you mean"
ooh, well" said the young man, 81
suppose one names as good as another
When was the last killing?"
"a man was shot out here in the
square last week"
who shot him.
The barber brought the razor up on
the young mans Adams apple. 81 did, "
he said.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
A GIGANTIC IRRIGATION PLAN.

the average depth from 25 to 80 feet.
AS the diversion dam and the inlet
canal are practically, completed, the
first water to be used in this scheme
will be the water from the Johnson
lateral leading north from the inlet
canal, where the water will be turned
on some time next spring.
So far, out of the 13 large projects
which have been started the govern
ment has completed one, the Truskee-
Carson, in Nevada, where the water
was turned on In June, 1905. The
reclamation act was passed on June
II. 1902, and the work on this scheme
was begun the very next day.
The problem which the government
will have to meet is that of sediment.
1t is generally stated that the success
of an irrigation scheme is in inverse
proportion TO the amount of sediment
carried by the river or streams from
which the water is taken. 1t was this
very matter that forced SO many pri.
vate companies to the wall and finally
made it necessary for the government
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
Ninety Thousand Acres Of Arid Land
IN Belle Fourche Valley viii Be
Made to Bear When Work is
Completed.

Belle Fourche, S. D.-TAs the work
of the government irrigation scheme
north of this city progresses people
begin to realize the great difference
1t will make not only in the character
of the country, but also In the charac-
ter of settlers who will be attracted
by these lands.
This Belle Fourshe irrigation prof.
ect as it is officially known, will re-
claim 10000 acres of practically arid
land lying north of the Black hills,
and $2,100,000 has been appropriated
by congress for the work. The work
is under directs supervision of the gov
eminent, but eventually will become
the property of the Water Users asso-
the people holding land under the
project.
The most interesting feature of the
work being done here is the big dam
known as the Owl creek reservoir.
The water taken from the Belle
Fourche by the diverting dam is
brought through canal 6A miles
long to this reservoir.
1t is built in a natural basin and the
earthen dam, IL miles in length and
IFS feet high at the deepest point, is
considering both length and height,
the largest earthen dam in the United
States,
The embankment win contain
100000 cubic yards of earth and will
be 500 feet wide at the widest point
at the bottom, GO feet wide at the
water service and 90 feet wide at the
top. The entire embankment will be
faced with concrete blocks weighing
1000 pounds each and the outer sur
face will be arranged in terraces and
seeded down to grass. The greatest
depth of the water will be 100 feet and
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
WORST CLASS OF BURGLARS
educated Professionals Are the
snoothest and Give the Police
Most Trouble.


Inc chief constable of Liverpool ia
OF the opinion that education is re.
ming the latter-day criminals. and a
prominent criminologist indorses this
view.
Says the chief constable in his an.
hual report; The burglar avoids vio-
renee Whenever possible, and chooses
when occasion offers more subtle forms
OF roguery Bill Sykes is to be dread
ed less than Rallies, and the latter is
TO be found less than the accom-.
pilshed scoundrel who lays far-reach.
ing plans to swindle whole commu
nifty.
Men who so years ago would have
been burglars or highwaymen are to.
day bogus company promoters ano
well-dressed swindlers of various
kinds. Their profits are enhanced and
their risks diminished, and have nc
doubt that this is one of the fruits OF
modern education.
For education, like all other things.
has its dark side. An inevitable re.
suit of little learning is to develop
hypocrisy where the moral training is
not commensurate with the merely in.
tellectual culture.
The child of to-day, whose ethical
teaching is neglected and who has in
herited criminal instincts, is launched
on society with better equipment for
career of crime. His education has
made him sharper and fuller of de-
vices, it gives intelligence to his fraud.
plent instincts and widens his radius
of practice.
Criminals of this kind are the most
dangerous to society because they are
the most insidious.
AS the twig is bent so the tree in.
clines. Insist on the moral and reli.
goius training of children as well as
upon the purely intellectual training
of children"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
sneezlna Lese Majesty. roo2

Berlin.-The citizen who recently
was punished for the crime of sneez.
ing in the street has companion in
misfortune. The new victim is a
lawyer named Schmidt. who. as
military reservist under periodical in
spection with his regiment at Magde-
burg, committed the offense of blow
ing his nose while standing in line
before the reviewing officer. The
following day Schmidt was arraigned
before a court-martial He pleaded
he suffered from catarrh. The In.
sI.ecting officer, however, swore
Schmidt blew his nose In manner
betraying either scorn or disrespect
Of military command and the court
was 80 shocked 1t ordered the of
fender to be placed under arrest foi
ten days.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30

have attacked your Adams apple and
that there won't be any core?"
Yes"
when you look at the wall paper
does your brain do a sort of loop-the-
loop and cause you to meld 100 acres or
double pinochle?"
yes, and so kings, tool"
do you feel slight palpitation of the
membrane of the colorado madura and
is there confused murmur in your
brain like the sound of Woodworking
gas meter?'
you've got me sized good and plenty,
docl"
do you have insomnia, nightmare,
loss of appetite, chills and fever and
concealed respiration in the carolina
perfecto?'
That's the idea, doc."
when you lie on your right side do
you have an impulse to turn over on
your left side, and when you turn over
on your left side do you feel an impulse
ia lump out of bed and throw stones at
a policeman"
There isn't anything you can men,
ton, doc, that | haven't got!"
"Ah!" said the doctor; then that set
ties it."
Tell me the truth, DOCTOR"
groaned; what is it, bubonic plague?'
"You have something worse-you
have the grip" he whispered, gently
"You see | tried hard to mention some
symptom which you didn't have, but
Won had them all, and the grip is the only
disease in the world which makes a spe-
cialty of having every symptom known
TO medical Jurisprudence"
Then the doctor got busy with the pen
oil gag and left me enough prescriptions
to keep the druggist in pocket money
throughout the summer.
Later my wife came in and asked me
how [ felt, and when | began to dis
course amiably about undertakers she
put nm a howl that brought the rest OF
The family around the bedside on hur-
ry call.
When | told them had the grip each
and every member of the household from
Uncle Peter down TO the cook began to
suggest remedies, and if I had taken nalf
tbev suggested they could have sold me
70 a Junk dealer and got good money
THAT evening our next-ooor neighDor'
ard Tavlor, came ir and advised me 10
take ouinine and whisky every time
felt a shooting pain.
took his advice, but at the END OF
,ha first hour the score was 9S to 81 In
savor of the shooting pains, aud the
nb,sl,v had such an effect on the quinine
,hat II made the germs jealous, so be-
tween them they cooked up a little black
man who advised me TO chase Bud Out
- the house. which | did by throwing
nedicine bottles at him,
Thai night the whisky and qRnine
held directors NEE ding with the germs
Ia then they would up with a sort OF
wardi Gras parade through my system
was the goat! 4o.o,
when daylight broke | was total
.,.ock and I swor, that the next per-
ann that said whisky and quinine 10 me
would get all his. s.,o,a .,
ours lack Gibson blew in' ano a''e'
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
LESS WINE DRUNK IN ENGLAND

Washington alcoholic con
sumption is on the decrease in Great
Britain Is shown by statistics con-
tanned in the report from Frank W.
MAIN, the American consul at Not
tingham, evidencing remarkable
falling off in the wine appetite of the
Britishers.
The amount of wine consumed per
capita in Great Britain is now figured
at only three pints year. The chan
cellor of the exchequer, in his recent
budget speech, said that in the past
six years the consumption of wine had
increased nearly so per cent. Imports
of wine from the principal sources of
supply-France, Spain and Portugal
have decreased in 80 years from 49,
100000 gallons to 100000 in a year.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30

DO the joints feel sore and pinchet
ike poolroom?" he said.
Right"
Does your tongue feel rare and high
priced ike a porterhouse steak at a
summer resort?"
1T dol"
do you feel spasmodic fluttering in
the concertina?"
"Yes!"
Have You a sort of nervous hesita-
ton In your hunger and does everything
you eat taste like an impossible sand
wich?"
"Keno!"
docs your nerve center tinkle-tinkle
like breakfast bell?"
Right again."
"Have you feeling that the germs
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30

ne ne looked me over his weary eve fell, on
the decantsr. '''' 0'
men Jack smacked his lips and whss-
pereu mat the best cure for the grip was
a. q sIass OF whisky and quinine every
ollne | felt chills and fever and he'd be
glad to Join me.
a., "nen loving hands picked Jack up at
,ne potion of the stairs he was almost
lnsuited' but he quIeted down when my
"ile explained to him that was suffer.
,ns not only from the strip but that |
""u also slight attack Of jiu- jitsu.
A.oer weeks Of study devoted to the
subject have come to the conclusion
.a lne only way to cure the grip is to
stay stick until you get better.
Ihats what did!
copyright. 1901. by G w D,ut,sbar, co,
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30

itself to take up the matter. 1t Is es,
timated that these IS schemes will re;
claim about 100000 acres.
AS there is considerable cost at
tached to the taking up of land under
these projects cost varying from
$3.50 to So per acre yearly for ten
years. 1t will be readily seen that nei-
Their the very poor nor the very shift
less will be attracted by these posi-.
bilities.
The immediate effect OF irrigation
upon the land values is shown as we'll
In the Belle Fourche valley as any
place in the world. On the soutb side
OF the river for short distance a
number of farms are under irrigation
from private ditch known as the
Redwater ditch This land now sells
for SIS an acre. Just across the river
where there is as yet no irrigation,
land OF identically the same character
sells from IS to $12. Peope are rush.
ing into the country by the hundreds
to embrace the opportunity of taking
up and along the line of the projected
ditch and the next ten years will see
a wonderful change in this northern
country.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
Dogs Now Have Appendicitis.

pet was dying. He suggested a sur
with all the care that would be Shown
TO human being Paratus was re-
moved to the canine hospital. Here
the dog was put through another ex-
animation bye man versed on the
diseases of animals, who agreed with
the naval surgeon that Paratus was a
sufferer from appendicitis.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
dim clad lhe Japs Put the Boots to the Cznr ,

aid YOU ever spar a few hot
Y. with real attack of grip?
An Il comes right down to a case
s.,as a bad boy the grip has every
: disease slapped to a Shutdown.
IA the grip some weeks ago and
.,0ce nv system has felt like eight
=, worth of cheese.
ns medicine sharps tell us that the
4 caused by little germ which
.,ated to this country originally
r Russia
! MATS the case I'm glad the Japs
,bp boots to the car. wish they
"A 90 after him again and kick his
prn off,
first grip germ must have been a
.hshell and his mother was some re-
|So to one of Kuropatkin's retreats.
4, dollars to pretzels that the grip
Is the busiest idea that was ever
I,sd by a doctor.
y0bOdy knows just. how or when the
n germs break into the system, but
!, thew get foothold in the epiglot-
,obing can remove them except in
Ia applications of dynamite.
Ire grip germ hates the idea of race
tdde
From one small germ there will arise
\ 20 forth a family the size of which
4 never dreamed of in the philosophy
Rour wise and busy president.
/ don't know just exactly how they
Rupsned to warm wise to me, but a
STly married couple of grip germs took
POTION to build nest somewhere on
Houtskirts of my solar plexus, and two
kun later they had about 233 children
kmdlng the public school in my
hsiusa oblongata; and every time
koO would let out for recess would
sup IN the air and hit the ceiling with
h tOpknot.
Before the next morning came all
Hse grip children had graduated from
kAso and after tearing down the
kkolhouse the whole bunch had mar
bland had large families of their own,
n all hands were out padding their
hoes on my alimentary canal.
|E nine o'clock that morning there
EA have been S5,000,000 grip germs
lmed with self-loading revolvers all
Hing to shoot their initials over the
nIs Of my interior department.
Twas fierce!
When the doctor arrived on the scene
lEas carrying enough concealed weap-
u to exterminate the entire Japanese
my
I'm up to one thing and that is that
y Russians couldn't beat the Japs be-
zle all the national energy and vitali-
migrated from St. Petersburg and
fne over here with the first grip germs.
l the car of all the Russians had
kn wise little father he would have
'0uraged the grip germs to remain
qa to their native land and then he
iald have sent them out to Manchuria
} lte the ramparts out of Gen. Oyama
E'ead of chasing inoffensive American
pnens into the drug stores.
wen, anyway, the medicine mixer blew
lnrew his saws behind the sofa, put
up net on the mantelpiece and took
AL out of my pulse.
An! ne said, after he had noted that
Nngue looked like a currycomb.
Inc same to you, doc" said.
!, AM" he said, looking hard at the
u.
BAY, doc!" | whispered; "there no
y, \ % cut off my leg because the germs
" hide in my elbow"
W you feel shooting pains in the
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
She Put Up a Howl"

NV Oeiiam near the alex of the cosmo-
10 inquired The doctor.
unrest thing YOU know" said.
, lave You a buz2ing in the ears, and
N Az unused sound like distant laughter
rs panatella?" he asked.
-. ms cinch, doc" said.
mi. you feel roaring in the cornu-
an. WIN tickling sensation in the
1.psn y, he asked.
tut again. I whispered.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
prlma Donna Wars on riahts.

Cleveland, O.-Miss Olga Orloff
prima donna of the comic opera com
pany, has begun crusade against
tights. She says they are insanitary,
and 1t is only question of time UNI
til they will be obsolete. Miss Orloff
ought to know. Her acquaintance
with tights is intimate and OF long
standing.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30

The decrease from 1900 to 1905 alone
was 100000 gallons.
Australia has been selling wine to
Great Britain growing quantities, but
the total imports OF this wine are
small in comparison with the decrease
in the imports of French. Spanish and
Portuguese wines.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
Always Prepared.

Mrs. Goodform is always prepared
for any occasion, isn't she?"
Yes, indeed. She even keeps
pink silk hmono hanging by the win
dow so that in case of fire in the night
she can slip it on while she's getting
into the fire escape. detroit Free
Press.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
Tall Men for Tall Corn.

Tampico, lll.-The farmers are
looking for tall hired men to pick
corn this year. The season has been
such that stalks have shot ears up to
over the average mans reach.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30
What It MIaht Do.

Smith-Can your summer hotel ac
comm1date any more guests?
Jones-Yes, 1t might accommodate
he people who are already In IT,
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1906-08-30

a there is no h oma n prominent psln whom so
Il e go o ant therefor 81 Is u ian in the :
pay
a an hour is spent kin
o blow AM ul frs Of u goes
of e family p o be present It dinner nj Mr.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1906-08-17
zJTEEEa
A NEW INSlu ATOP PIN
A NEW lNSULATOR PIN.
One Recently Devised Which Has
Many Advantages Over the
Old Type.

In the description Of the transmits.
sion line and third.raIl system of the
Loag Island railroad, published IN a
recent issue, the Scientific Amer
lean mentioned a new type Of iron
,nsuiator pin employed. This pin.
which IS a radical departure from
previous practice in pin design, Is the
invention Of Mr.. W. n. Smith, OF
Westinghouse, Church, Kerr Il Co,
who has applied for a patent on the
device. The new pin combines s7y-
nraI important advantages, as fol.
lows. Il does away with the neces-
sity Of boring in the crOssarms. there
by conserving the whole strength Of
the arm and l~engthoning its life;
the metal composing it is distributed
in the most effective manner possible,
its cross section Is greatest next
~ the arm where the greatest resist
10 bending is required; and
finally, the shriukage Of the arm can
more effectively be taken care Of by
the l.bOlt and strap than any Of the
other forms Of pin fastening in com.
use, as there is no tendency to
dDstort the bolt, and. consequently,
there Is nc possibility of the pin
standing crooked upon the arm after
the 5hrinkage has been taken up.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1906-08-17
A WIRELESS RECEIVER.
A Most serviceable One Can Be Made
Which Is ~Electrolytic in
It's Action.

Most Hertzian wave detecters are
more or less complicated, and few are
very satisfactory, The writer, D. S.
BeardslCy, has experimental with
many kinds. and has at last evolved
one which has given the utmost salts
faction, receiving the most distant
messages very clearly and sharply.
This detecter is electrolytic in its ac-
ton, and 1t consists of a cell in which
a zinc anode and a platinum cathode
are used with an electroIyte of dilute
snlphuric acid. An important adyan-
tage Of this receiver Is the fact that it
requires no battery, as it is a battery
in itself.
The following, given by the Scientific
American, are the instructions for
making it: Prepare a base about 3
inches square of hardwood. At L
side, parallel to the edge, erect a