davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01
ERRATIc EN6IN ES.
Locomotives That Act as Though They
Were Bewitehed.

Were Dewitehed.
You never see a ship launched on a
Friday, and similarly a new locomotive
hardly ever ff1akes q trial trip on that
day or on the 18th Of the month. Even
though the superintendent may jeer at
the superstition, yet he knows too well
to set 1t at ,riaught. for just as sailors
consider that some ships are unlucky
so do train hands credit certain loco
motives with sort Of demoniacal pos
session.
It Is certainly very strange the diff
ference that may be observed between
two locomotives, built from the same
plans, at the same time, Of similar ma
terial. One goes on her way quietly
and smoothly, never breaks down, costs
little or nothing for repairs. The other
causes trouble from the very first, runs
off the line, kills the drivers, gets into
accidents Of all kinds and generally
acts as though possessed by some evil
spirit.
There was a famous instance some
years ago on the South Florida rail-
way. A locomotive killed so many
people that she got the name OF "the
hearse," and no fewer than three en-:
CINE drivers actually left the employ
of the company rather than continue
driving her. The odd thing was that
she never seemed to injure herself
Eventually the owners were forced to
break her up, although she was by NO
means worn out.
OF actual ghosts in trains or railway
engines one very seldom hears.-NeW
York Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01
"Woman" and "Lady."

A judge at Derby, Conn.,, has just
ruled that the term woman" applied
to a woman, is as honorable as lady"
In court female witness was referred
to by the counsel on the other side as
"this woman" whereat the person to
whom the phrase was applied object
ed strenuously. Was she justified in
doing so? The judge did not think so,
but there was something in her indig-
nation itself which seems to indicate
ment In the lawyers utterance; in
which case, Of course, her wrath was
quite natural
1t all depends. When employed with
the intention Of respect, woman" is
more honorable than lady" just as
Lincoln's He looks like a man. ap-
piled to whitman, was much more a
compliment than He looks like a gen.
tleman" would have been. Whether in
the abstract, the term woman" Is no
bier than lady can be determined by
very simple test. Take the quota
tions. "A perfect woman, nobly plan
ned" and "Earth's nob!est thing, a
woman perfected" Change the word
woman" in each case to 'lady"-and
see what you get
Yet it is possible for the sweet old
word to be used contemptuously, as
this Derby lawyer probably employed.
When an odious male person, filled with
sense of his own grandeur, begins
remark to a person of the opposite
sex. Now. my good woman" she Is
perfectly justified in taking offence.
1t is not the term woman" that Of
fends her, but the flavor of condescen-
sion in the remark.
TO put it briefly. it takes a gentle
man to use the word woman and
make it express the honor that be-
longs to it. Men who are not gen.
tlemen had better stick to the term
"lady."-New York Mail. :
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01
Having Fun With the Barber, Portrait
Painter and Doctor.

Having Fun With the Barber, Portrait
Painter and Doctor. :.
II there is any truth In what ex-
pert testers tell us, the worlds stock
Of good, original jokes Is ludicrously
small-a dozen or two at the very
outside. An early investigator into
this momentous question, certain
Hierocles, who lived some 1,500 years
ago, put the number in his day at
exactly twenty-one. The researches
of Hierocles probably did not extend
so far eastward as China, 80 there Is
no improperly in asking now wheth-
er some of the jokes which abound
in literature Of the Celestial Empire
are entitled to the honor Of original
ity or not Here are three specimens:
A careless barber, trimming GUS
toners ears-Chinese BARRIERS pay
particular attention to this part Of
the human anatomy-put his patient
to great pain and uneasiness. "Are
you doing my left ear now?" asked
the victim mo, sir; I've not quite
finished the right ear yet" "Ah,
I fancied you were trying to pass
through to the left without going
around"
A portrait painter without clients
was advised by a friend to paint a
likeness of himself and wife and
hang 1t in some conspicuous place,
so that would-be customers might
Judge of his skill. He did so, and
his father-in-law the next time he
called Immediately saw the picture.
Pray" asked the visitor, what wo-
man have you represented there? -
"Why, sir do you not recognize your
own daughter?" my daughter"
was the indignant answer. IF you
intend that to represent my daughter,
how dare you paint her sitting thus
intimately with a man whom 1 have
never seen before, and who must be
an entire stranger to her?" The
painters feelings need not be de-
scribed
The gibes at doctors are innumer-
able. The following is a typical ex-
ample:
One of the judges in the neither re-
gions despatched an imp to this world
Of ours to seek out and bring back a
good doctor. When" the imp was
instructed, you come to the house
Of a doctor before which you descry
no complaining ghosts you will know
you have found a man Of the kind
wanted" The messenger set out, but
In front of every doctors door he
came to there was an immense
throng of angry spirits proclaiming
the wrongs they had suffered when
in the flesh at the hands Of the med
icine man. Finally, however, he
reached a house where there was but
one solitary. ghost fitting backward
and forward. This Is my man." he
said to himself; "he must surely be
a clever fellow" When the imp
came to make inquiries, however, he
learned that the practitioner had
barely been in practice for a day!
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01
aataaluruus department.
Mas Ready to Deliver.

In q certain prosperous section OF
New England they still tell Of a case
famous in its day. Late one summer
evening three men put up at the only
hotel in the county. They brought
with them a heavy, impressive look
ing bag, which they deposited on the
desk. 1t contained, they explained,
gold ore worth $4,000, and repre-
sented the savings of three men after
years Of mining. They exacted a SOL
emn promise from the clerk to de-
liver up the bag only when the three
together appeared and demanded 1t
Of him.
Very early next morning, however
one of the men appeared alone, and
, asked to be given the bag. He was
In such a hurry, and put up such
plausible story, that the clerk, who
was. sleepy and perhaps none too So
Der, handed over the article, whereat
the stranger. disappeared with great
alacrity.
When the remaining partners ap-
peared upon the scene there was
something doing. They stormed and
swore and threatened, and finally
brought suit against the hotel for the
value of their lost treasure, for no
= trace. OF the treacherous third man
could ever be discovered. The land
lords plight seemed hopeless; it was
a clear case for the angry plaintiffs.
Then suddenly a green young law
yer, new in town. offered to take the
case for the hotel, and was at once
engaged.
At the trial the court was crowded.
When the young lawyers turn came
he arose and laid large and weighty
looking bag on the desk beside him.
Gentlemen" he said, "by the orig
inal terms of its agreement the hotel
promised to deliver this bag when
the three partners appeared together
to claim It,. The hotel stands ready
to fulfill that promise, and when
said three apply together. as con-
tracted, we will deliver the goods"
A paralyzing silence fell on the un-
fortunate partners" in the room.
They were ready to do their part, but
the. third, OH where was he?
The case was won for the defend
ants. The bag upon the desk con-
tanned only a few stones and old
clothes.-Boston Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01

CAP'N BILLS EXPLANATDoN.-Aftel
the visitors to the island Of Nan
tucket had covered the course ovel
which sightseers are always conduct
ed, says a writer In the Boston Her
aid, one of the ladies Of the party re-
quested that the drive be continued
to sheep pond"
"The place where the natives used
to wash the wool on their sheep iT
the old days" she supplemented
Everybody goes to see it."
The driver and guide, Cap'n Bill
looked perplexed. He was evidently
puzzled as to the location OF this in
teresting sheet Of water. But an ole
sailor and town character is rarely
nonplused, and presently Cap'n Bill
snapped his whip, determination ir
his eye. He drove to a neighborinl
hill and stopped his horses.
Here 'tis," he said, with a sweeI
OF his hand.
~ don't see any water!" was the
general exclamation.
Not now," Cap'n Bill gravely ad'
mitted. You see, the sheep was Sc
dirty that the bloomin' pond got filled
up."-Youth's Companion.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01


HIS MUSICAL EAR--It isn't always
best to brag about your gifts. Out
on one of the boulevards lives a man
who lays claims to a musical ear and
plays some on the piano. Frequently
he has criticized his wife for what he
called her inability to carry a tune.
"Your ear, If you had a musical
one as / have, would show you how
to carry a tune" he would say. One
day he complained that her piano
was out OF tune and asked his wife
to telephone for a tuner. She de-
cided to test his musical ear" so
that night when he came home from
business she said: will, please try
the piano and see If the tuner has
done 1t any good. / haven't any ear
and cannot tell, but you can"
The man sat down at the instru-
ment and played simple tune. Its
all right now," he said. THAT fell
low did a good job"
His wife summoned up her courage
"Will," she said. The tuner didn't
come today. He's coming tomorrow
morning. kansas City Times.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01

In THE CoUNTRY.-When the ther-
mometer had dropped far below zero
good Mrs. Rogers was much disturb
ed at the recollection that Huldah
the new kitchen maid, slept in an
unheated room. "Huldah." she said
remembering the good old custom OF
her own girlhood, its going to be
pretty cold tonight. l think you had
better take a fiatiron to bed with
you"
Yes, ma'am," said Huldah, in
mild and expressionless assent.
Mrs. Rogers slept soundly and free
from care. secure in the belief that
the maid was comfortable. In the
morning she again visited the kitch-
en-.
We'll, Huldah," she asked. "how
did you get along with the flatiron?'
Huldah breathed a deep sigh OF
recollection.
well, ma'am," she said. II got II
nearly warm before morning!"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01

AN EXTRAORDINARY WOMAN. - DR.
Abernethy. the famous Scotch sur
geon, was a man of few words, but
once he met his match in a woman
She called at his office in Edinburgh
one day and showed a hand badly in
famed and swollen, when the following
dialogue, opened by the doctor, took
place:
"Burns?"
"Bruise."
"Poultice."
The next day the woman called
Better"
Worse"
More poultice"
Two days later the woman made an
other call. and this conversation oc-
Cured:
Better"
well. Fee?"
Nothing" exclaimed the doctor.
Most sensible woman / ever met"
THE GAMIN's ADvICE.-It was in
Piccadilly that the fair motor driver
could not make her magnificent car
go. 1t sputtered, it painted. it throb-
bed. 1t blocked the traffic and drew a
huge crowd. The lady, pretty and
young to boot, drew various levers,
patted numerous pedals. blushing fu-
riously. Still the car would not
Judge. Suddenly a small voice piped
out: Put annuver penny in, lady,
and the crowd Sheffield
Telegraph.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01

fg There's nothing cunning about the
toothache, even II 1t Is acute pain.
,tT Morals to many mean only
chance to meddle in other peoples
affairs. -
,3a From the viewpoint Of the hat
dealer two heads are always better
than one.
"a It is universally conceded that II
a man has money to burn it's because
he was too wise to burn 1t.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01
No. 1ss, paiIy-Marien. N. c. to Rock

For further Information address:
BROOKS MORGAN. Asst. Gen. Pass.
Agent. Atlanta, Ga, or
r. w. HUNT, Div. Passenger Agent,
Charleston, s. G.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01
70 DEBTORS AND CREDITORS.

A LII persons indebted to the estate
"A Of w. T. MCKNIGHT, deceased,
are hereby notified Of their obligation
to make settlement with me at once.
Persons having claims against said es-
tate should present them to me, duly
authenticated, within the time pre-
scribed by law.
s. w. MCKNIGHT Administrator.
April "a. 3t
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01
PHOTOGRAPHY

For first-elass Lasting photographs
come to my studio on West Liberty
street.
J. r. scHoR6.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01

Published Tuesday and Friday.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION,
ADVERTISEMENTS

Inserted at One Dollar per square for
the first insertion, and Fifty Gents per
square for each subsequent insertion.
A square consists Of the space occupied
by ten lines Of this size type.
f8 Contracts for advertising space
for three, six and twelve months will
be made OH reasonable terms. The
contracts must in all cases be confined
to the regular business Of the firm or
individual contracting, and the manu-
script must le in the Office by Monday
at noon when intended for Tuesdays
issue, and on Thursday at noon. when
intended for Fridays issue
TT Cards Of thanks and tributes of
respect inserted at the rate o. 10 cents
per line for each insertion.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01

"a 1t is easy to imagine that If you
have the wind the Lord will find the
wings.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01
ALL THROUGH
THE YEAR
Best Recipes Of Local HOusekeep-
6rS.

COLLATED IN HANDSOME BOOK.
THE "ALL THROUGH THE YEAR"
Cook Book consists of 1876 pages OF
recipes, grouped in convenient and
comprehensive form and makes up a
work that will be of service in every
household. Bound in strong paper
covers.
The price Of the book Is go Cents.
When ordered by mail. 8 Cents extra.
It may be had from the following
places in Yorkville:
Strauss-Smith Co. See Miss Glenn
or Miss Wallace.
Yorkyille Banking & Mercantile
company. See Miss Cody.
York Drug Store.
/. w. johnson.
Loan and Savings Bank.
Orders also filled by Mrs. G. II.
O'Leary, or Mrs. 8. M. McNeel, York.
vile, s. c.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1906-05-01
SOME CHINESE JOKES.

TO BE CONTINUED.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-11-02
Will Take
Any Twelve
JuTyn|en


The common opinion seems to be
that the Grand Jury has fallen down
pretty badly III at least one OF the IN
dictments brought IN Tor perjury III
connection with registration in ka-
kaako. Frederick Schultz was brought
before Judge Lindsay this morning and
pleaded not guilty to the charge. lie
was represented by Judge Gear. who
maze plea Tor an Immediate trial. lie
said:
ASK your iionof thai the prisoner
may ne gwen the dement, OF u trial al
once Inc case Is an important one
ana one when ] nave investigated very
careth,iy ana ! tall TO see anywhere
enough evidence TO Dring an indict-
ment against yellow dog. ! lind thai
Mr. schultz has lived In kakaako for
years ana lhat some time after his reg
lstra,loh ne moved from the address
gwen.
reel so sure mat there could nos
De even possibility OF conviction
lhhl AN Wiling 10 lhke tue hrsl
twei'e men VINO may be on the jury
list regardless OF VINO they are VIII
~ inr'heT lnah lhat III oFuer 10 save
time ana VIII waive Il Jury trial The
evidence Tor me defense Is so concllis-
I'VE that VIII guarantee not To take
more 'nah Two hours ~ the most IN
completing the ease Tor IN" defense.
rms case coming up here at the
present lihie Is unprecedented. Thc
Gfahd jury hastehs 10 brine the III
uic'iheh's the same DAY on which they
were completed. whereas III many cases
they ho'd indictments over Tor month
OF more Nhat the motive was Is nara
10 say Dut on account OF me close ap'
rroach OF election. II Is very strange.
your honor. II Is not righL That TINS
man shouiu Nept IN jail over election
uay' lie mas 'he lleht 10 Nole anu ~
eht'tieu 10 H. lie should nave MS
cahe ueclued Ut once.
| Attorney General Prosser then in-
Jec'eu some sIIght spirit INTO the argu-
heht Which souhued 10 Judge Heal
| anu 10 otheiS III 'he courtroom aS u
ne was saying that Judge Gear TOOK
Dom sues oi cases Judge "ear asked
'hht 'ne court INSIST on an apology
Whicn-f rosser saIu he woniu not make
III reply w 'his hear Salu 'hal ne wouiu
hlsist On u cilher III the courtroom oi
eiseWhcre' froSser remarked tha'
Judge Hear Knew where ne could DE-
lound VI any tine' me matter was
nhhiiy settled Wheh frosser hiade u
statement ,hat ne hnu referred 10 ,n'
lact that 'he nrahn jury hhd one siu'
OF tne story ana thc deiehse another
anu u might ne 'hu' GEAR was not III
hliiiar win DOM SUES us ne was u
nIahy cnses' ne eNp'ana'ioh, whici
was Nar"'y gwen WIN inc idea Oh III
npoiosy' was satisfactory 10 judge
Gear anu the Hha',er was dropped.
Judge Lindsay stated 'hat ne 'nougn
'n't We Snou'u no everything III hi'
Dover 10 Drihs 'he Gust 10 an eLiI'
'I'al o"t ,iat mere were cases So
ahead On ms ,aiehiiar WIN whieh III
,ou'u hot INTERFERE. lie stated ihat u
|, was possible 10 take tue case up OIL
Mohhhy ne WOMB 40 so bhl that IL othe'
cases set Tor the dag were ready ne
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-11-02

wAlTy BLDG, n Q, KING ST
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1906-11-02
JUDGE HARTWELL
TO PRESIDE
AT JOINT DEBATE

Judge Dole has declined to accept
the invitation to act as chairman at
the debate Of the Republicans and
Democrats In the Orpheum tomorrow
night. Associate Justice Of the Su.
preme Court a. s. Hartwcll has con.
scented TO act as such in his place.
Judge Dole explained his position In
the following letter to A. G. NJ. Robert.
sor and w. A. Kinney. who are In
charge of the arrangements
Messrs. Kinney and Robertson: -
am very sorry to have to say that |
shall he unable to preside at the joint
debate. for. several days ago. In ignor.
ance Of the time when the joint debate
would take place. | accepted an invi.
tation to dinner for Saturday evening.
felt much complimented by the invi.
tation To preside, aud hailed with
much satisfaction the plan for pub.
lie discussion of political questions by
both sides as being distinct advance
ON the usual campaign methods.
Very sincerely.
SANFORD -. DOLE.
Thursday p. NJ.
Tickets for seats at the Orphcum to.
morrow night have been printed and
divided evenly between the Republi.
cans and the Democrats. They can be
obtained from the members of the Cen.
trail and County Committees of both
parties,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1906-08-27
VETS AT BRlSTow
Annual Butler County Soldiers Re.
union Held Saturday, and Proves
Great Successful Parkersburs Next
Year.

Special to Times-Republican.
Bristow, Aug 27.-The annual But-
Ter county soldiers reunion held here
Saturday was great success, both In
the way of crowd and entertainment.
The veterans began to arrive here ear
ly, number coming on the morning
trains. There were about seventy In
all oftthe veterans that registered, and
with the large crowd in attendance
from all over the county, the day was
hugely enjoyed. Chaplain, Jesse Cole.
Of the Soldiers Home at Marshalltown.
gave the address of the day. which of
itself was immense, to say the least.
The rest of the program was of high
order and much appreciated by the hs-
teners. The progam was held in our
city park promptly at l o'clock p. m,
after which the crowd witnessed a
game Of ball between Dumont and Are
dale, which resulted in favor Of the
former. The weather was very threat
ening all day, but no rain came to
the pleasure of all present, tho had 1t
been clear in the morning, a much
larger crowd would have come. The
reunion will be held at Parkersburg
next year.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1906-08-27
IMPROVEMENTS SHOWN
School Year Opens at Ellsworth Col.
lego With Bright Prospects-Larse
EnroIlment in the Public Schools at
Iowa Falls Expected.

Special to Times-iRepublican.
Iowa Falls, Aug. 27.-The new school
year for the public schools in this city
opens September g. with what prom
Uses to be the largest enrolment In the
history of the schools. Supt. II. f.
Rlackman, who has been in charge OF
the schools for the past two years, has
been retained by the board for the
coming year, and his assistants will
be as follows: Miss limo Moler, Miss
T.. f. Carroll, George c. Albright, Miss
Alice Clark, Miss Loretta Burns, Miss
Jennie Ives. Miss Effie Smith, Miss
Julia O'Neil Miss Blanche Stiddard,
Miss Elizabeth Tower, Mrs. f. H.
Crapser, Miss Alleen Young, Mrs. I.
w. Brown. Miss Minnie Bishop. Miss
Miss bertha Romley and Miss Elma
Overmeyer. The three central school
buildings and two ward schools will be
filled in every grade, with the opening
Of the schools. The coming year at
Ellsworth College promises to be the
best in the history Of the school. The
work on the big new dormitory Is pro-
crossing rapidly and it will be ready
for occupancy early in the school year.
The work on the library building, with
it's museum and conservatory of mus
sic, indicates it will also be ready for
use before the close of the fall term.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1906-08-27
ADAMS COUNTY POLITICS.
The standpat Press Silent as to the
Ticket.

The Standpat Press Silent as to the
Ticket.
Special to Times Republican.
Corning, Aug. 27.-Apparently the
political situation in this county is at
standstill as far as the republicans
are concerned. Directly after the
convention at Des Moines our local re-
publican paper stated that a conven-
ton had been held. There have been
two issues SINCE that have not had
line Of republican politics in. The
editor is postmaster by the grace OF
HEPBURN. The progressives are won-
dering ii it is expected of them to
whoop 1t up for the congressional
nominee OF this district, when the
paper that he controls is silent as to
the state ticket The standpatters. it
is reported, have made local slate, all
standpat. Gregory, who is known as
the sponsor for the Gregory bill Of the
last legislature, is booked for repre-
sentative He can be depended on
to obey orders as in the past. Regard
less of the platform he is opposed to
a reasonable primary law. He lis also
opposed to an anti-pass law.