davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
way of the World.

He-I met two of the happiest men
last night it has ever been my lot to
encounter.
She-What was the trouble?
He-One of them had just been mar
ried and the other had just been d.
vorced.-Chicago News.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

The United States is to have TO-.
000-ton battleship. British taxpayers
may as well prepare to settle for a
81 ,000-tonner.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

After Mr.. Wellman has discovered
the north pole by balloon, will he find
the south pole, too?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

The man who planted his sweetpeas
In January reports that they haven't
come up as yet
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

If the new Rockefeller baby's for
tune grows as fast as erandpa's did, he
will have about all the money there is
by the time he is rs.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
Breezy March.

at seems to us you blow a great
deal,' they said to March, clutching
fiuttering raiment.
The boisterous month held peace for
an instant.
You're jealous" 1t made reply.
you are all trying to raise the wind.
and I've got you beaten to FRAGILE"
Which,. indeed, seemed to be the
truth.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
The weakness of che Sex.

How is it that women will not
learn by experience?"
81 suppose it is because they con-
additionally object to anything Civ
ing them few wrinkles"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

Rabbi Hirsch may be right in as
sorting that the stomach and religion
are closely related. But it seems like
a far cry from the belly to the soul.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

John L. Sullivan, feeling confident
that he can train up to the weight, of
fers to fight any 800 pound man in the
world.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
Good Scheme.

Good Scheme.
Tommy--That medicines nasty.
Mommy-Did you take a whole
spoonful of it as | told you?
Tommy-No'm. l couldn't find
spoon, so took a fork full.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
FoiIed Again.

Madam, you have daughter. Does
she sing popular songs?'
Mo- She"
Does she play on the piano?"
mo, She"
"Does she paint in water or oil col
ors?"
mo, She"
Does she recite 'Curfew Shall Not
Ring To-night'?"
mo, She
"She is the modern young girl for
whom / have been searching, with no
accomplishments. Present me to her,
madam"
But, my dear sir, you won't let me
speak She is only 6 months old"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

London Punch has new editor who
is reported to be a humorist. This is
important IL true.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

The report of the failure of a Maine
worsted mill is a reminder that great
many men get worsted when they
tackle business.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

A Milwaukee woman has won a bar
rel of -four in a poetry contest This
should cause the muse to sit up and
take notice again.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

Anybody" says a Brooklyn minis.
ter, can be hero" Doesn't he con-
slider sweet woman anybody?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
Fashionable.

Aren't your hengs laying any eggs
now!" asked the man across the
street.
"Oh, yes; plenty of EN-" replied the
man with the poultry
Don't hear 'em cackling any, SO
supposed they were doing nothing to
cackle about
"Oh, yes, they're laying eggs all
right, but they've all got tonsilitis and
can't cackle!"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

One of the most difficult feats to
accomplish in this world is to put
skeleton back in the closet once it has
been out
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

Says young Mr.. Rockefeller, The
reason young men sow wild oats is
because they find pleasure in doing
So" How paradoxicaI, yet how true!
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

Perhaps some day bridal couples
will go to Niagara Falls to see the
manufactures
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

That fiber factory down in Shaw
NUT, Me-, that is making 100000 pie
plates every day must be pretty nearly
keeping up with the pie industry of
New England.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

At a recent food exhibit in Berne,
Switzerland, 1,785 varieties of sausage
were shown. Every family must have
its own brand over there
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

When learned men get to disputing
about point of grammar, the rhetoric
makers always have an excellent OPP
portunity to get lot of horrible exam
pies.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

Johnstown, Pa, having had both
flood and fire, is prepared to expect
either a tornado or an earthquake
next.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
GOOD Jokes
Advice.

81 Perkins-Here's an advertise
ment about Pitfalls of a Great City
How to Avoid Them"
RUDE Meddlers-Ychi Deacon Korn-
top sent 'em 25 cents for 1t and"
Sir Perkins-Jiminy crickets! 1t
must be scand'lous readin'.
RUDE Medders-It was so. 1t Jest
said: Don't leave the FARM
Philadelphia Press.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
Misplaced.

Nell suppose he surprised you
when he kissed your hand?
Believes, and / told him didn't
think he'd stoop SO low as that
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
Prevalent Decay.

"This," exclaimed the orator, "is
decadent nation. AS before the fall of
Rome everything was rotten, so to-day
in our erstwhile fair land every
thing"
Just here an egg struck him fairly.
His nostrils dilated.
81 DESIRE" he continued, before fe-
firing, to add that this egg is corrobor-
alive evidence"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
He Found II.

There was loud. knock, and the
answering servant held a long col
loquy with the caller. Afterward:
What was that, Sarah?" the mis-
tress asked. ..
why. ma'am. it was a gentleman
who was looking for the wrong house."
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
A Business Failure.

Well" he said dismally. after her
refusal, that is the first time | ever
failed in any enterprise | undertook"
But there is a difference between
love and business" replied Miss Gold
rox None can deny your business
acumen, and"
There's where you're wrong. All
my friends know that | considered
this thing purely and simply as a finan-
cial stroke"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

Fifty thousand dollars a year as pin
money for the new queen of Spain will
buy her diamond pins By the way,
how about those starving folks in
Andalusia?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

A Chicago girl, who is making a
tour of Europe, has written to friend
that Paris ism in the same class with
Chicago. She's right. 1t isn't.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
Apolooiea Receixed.

Eva-Why. Jack is the slowest fell
low | ever met. He can only give an
accept an apology.
apology for kiss.
Edna-Well, | am always willing to
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

do robins run or hop?" asks the
inquiring New York Sun. They do.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

Two Georgia men were killed re
Gently in fight over mule. 1t isn't
likely, however, that the cause of the
trouble will be noted on their tomb
stones.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
Did the Riz.

$50 you used some OF the liniment
left here yesterday said the agent
Didn't you find that It worked well?"
81 should say sol" cried the lady
81 mistook it for the furniture polish
and it took all the skin off the piano
legs in one detroit
Free Press.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
Two Ways.

Two Ways.
Knicker-I let nature cure and nav
the doctor the bill
Booker let the doctor cure and
pay nature the bill
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
His Cue

Gunner-They say this book EMIT
led "A Step Backward" was inspired.
l wonder where the author ever got
his inspiration?
Guyer-Oh, | guess he watched "a
woman stepping off a street car.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

Ras Makonnen is dead. But then,
SO is the Ahkoond of Swat.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

buy the sweets of life for my Alice.
So all my days are a song till June
June, our wedding month.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

Am / man or fiend? Have I sunk
so low as to be thing of scorn even
to myself?
1t is June. Alice has been away fol
weeks. A letter in her dear, labored
hand received to-day says:
Darling: l have surprise for you
the dearest, most wonderful surprise
in the world. All these weeks | have
been under a famous oculist's care,
and, dear heart, I'm going to see! To
see! To see!
I'm going home tomorrow. Come
to me. Come quickly, for l shall wear
the bandage across my face until you
yourself remove it, l want the first
thing l see at home to be the joy and
love in your eyes. Come Your own,
ALICE.
1t is the end. Once more | shall
walk alone. Once more | shall watch
my darling from afar, for never after
| this day will l thrust my face between
her newborn sight and the beautiful,
beautiful world.
/ go now to Alice.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27
Proof Otherwise.

see another savant has taken up
the kissing matter again. He claims
that 1t is decidedly unhealthy"
"Bosh! Microbes thrive on IT,
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

And there the manuscript ended.
turned it about and twisted 1t from
side to side, but not another word
could I find.
could neither work nor sleep. At
last, hurried down to the little shop
on Third avenue and sought the pro-
prietor.
Il bought a desk here a week ago
an old desk with curious carvings,
and odd little drawers at the side,"
began. Can you tell me to whom II
belonged?"
Yes, | remember" returned the old
man, a peculiar smile on his face. "It
was once the property of Denton, the
hunchback lawyer"
He must be a wonderful man."
ventured.
He is-all thanks to the devoted
encouragement of good wife,
| My heart leaped.
Then he's married." faltered.
ITO the best and truest little WON.
an in the world. | know, for I've
watched her from nabyhood up" The
old man paused moment then
turned to me, a strange light in his
faded blue eyes.
Alice, his wife, was blind when
he first knew and courted her; and
because she could not see, he showed
to her-and to her alone-the depths
of his real self. When Alice's sight
was restored. she insisted that her
lover should be the one to remove the
final bandage from her eyes, and my
wife-who was in the room at the
time-said she never saw a man whose
face expressed such hopeless misery
as Dentons at that minute. But Alice
just looked at him: long, loving
look that never faltered."
And he?"
He took her in his arms with .
great sob of joy"
And them" / prompted eagerly.
The old man turned with a mild re
proof in his eyes.
And then-my wife left the room.
he said, gently.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1906-04-27

One overworked expression, of
cc.urse, is Please remit @
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1906-07-26

no HENT--A six room cottage on Brancls
.tfeef Inquire at saunders Il Lyons. g2kf
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1906-07-26
Sewer system for Randolph.

A special village meeting held Rar.
dolph Monday evening for the purpo2e
OF considering the sewer question which
has been agtated for The past ten years,
was very largely attended The main
room was crowded to more than its Ca
paeity by citizens who wanted 70 hear
and act upon the report Of the village
trustees, who were instructed at the an
nual meeting held May j to prepare and
submit plans and specifications for a
village sewer These plans and speciil-
cations by H. W. Mcintyre, were check
ed.up by two expert engineers and found
practical and approved BY the State
board Of health. This system uorers
the entire village, taking in every street
or about six miles in,length. One out
let of the sewer viii empty below the
Osgod & Roundy factory and the one
above the mill dam win empty in a
liberation bed. Two hours OF oratory
followed when the points Of the opposi-
ton. who had skirmished around the hor-
lion for several days, only proved a
hug-a.boo compared with the action Of
the citizens who voted for sewers and
carried their point with a hurah. The
resolution voted, authorized and ems
powered the trustees TO borrow Si0 900,
the same TO be repaid 81 900 yearly.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1906-07-26
To Eradicate a Mining Evil.

For the protection Of the mining IN
vestors Of the United States, the Am
erican Mining Congress has estab-
lished q. Bureau of Inquiry through
which information can be obtained as
to the condition Of the property and
the standing Of the company that has
asked or is asking for The money Of
the investor.
The American Mining Congress ~ d
national organization Of mining men,
the directors Of which are men Of the
highest standing In their own states,
whose only interest is the uplifting OF
the mining industry To this end, and
among other things, the organization
IL working for the creation of de-
partment Of Mines and Mining as a
separatee department Of The national
government, and for the enactment of
laws in the various states making the
concealment Of misrepresentation of
any material fact concerning mine
upon which a ffandulant sale 0f stock
il predicted a criminal offence.
In order that its Board Of Directors
may be kept in touch with the gen
eral sentiment III the mining world an
annual session is held to which dele
gates are sent by the President of the
United States, the governors Of the
several states, the mayors Of cities,
and the commercial bodies Of America.
At its permanent headquarters at Dem
yer, Colorado, under the direction of
its secretary regular force "a con
stantly employed in carrying on It's
work, no small part Of which will be
the protection 81 investors against
mining frauds. 70 The end that mining
may Be- placed more and more on m
Investment rather than speculative
basis.
This bureau OF inquiry will be alb
solutely impartial in il findings, its
sole purpose being To prevent ill.ad.
yised mining investments and 10 save
the West from disgrace which fol
lows dishonest mining promotion.
In order % thoroughly eradicate
fake promotion. the American Mining
Congress is pledged to give to inguir-
ing members information absolutely
unbiased collected from unprecedented
sources, largely its own trusted CORES
pondents, and to have but one end in
view the protection Of the investor
its belief being that every dollar inn
properly invested is damage to ell
legitimate mining and that the highest
good of the mining industry may liz
served by warning investors against IN.
proper investments and furnishing such
channels which give promise Of sue
cess
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1906-07-26
REAL ESTATE FOR SALE.

FARMS LOCATED NEAR BARRE--Looh
tiiis list over. We never were as well situated
to give YOU your moneys worth on iarins near
Barre City, with good buildings land. etc, as
now. These have Just been placed with Us for
immediate sale.
Farm with set ~ buildings fliat wiz suit
you. Contains lug acres OF land. Tillage IL IN
ltgh state Of cultivation, and Il very easy q
Till. Pasturage is especially good aud can al
he plowed. Plenty of wood. Place viii winter
30 70 40 head Of stock and team and pasture
about ~ COWS. We won't try 70 describe the
buildings, only 30 saythaf they will suit you
Hoase contains u rooms. and barn Is clap
boarded and painted with basement. We want
e show yon photograph, which Will give you
better urea pl fhe builtinEs. illee sa,9NO.
There Is 4 large income from this FARM iu1tf
A place with ali the advantages az city prop
crty, and vet a little outside-iust far enough
w miles from City an +. Az Il. rnGte NJ n.
telephone In Buildings Hot AMI cold water
connections To sinks, wawh bowls and bath.
There are 20 acres Of good. productive land and
the place win keep ~ COWS and team. Good TO-
room house tn best OF condition. Hard wood
ilaora IN part " rooms and hard wood iinish;
place IN parlor Barns are claphoarded
and painted in line shape. This is bargain at
the price, SAsoN0. Let us show sou photo
graph of buildings. laitt
A fine stock farm IL miles from City. This
place viii winter 90 head of stock and summer
nearly as many. Contains 100 acres suitably
divided. Fine sugar bush of COO naples, extra
fine fruit orchard. Nice buildings. Barn IL
~ x llb ana has dftNffn NJ EApib ttu, hfTt
is d fire basement and barn Is clapboarded and
painted. Good silo l6-ropm house arranged
for two families. This place Is located near
school, On good road and near neighbors,
Price 5000 which win probably include some
personal properly. We have photograph d
buildings at our Office. 10stt
We have another extra fine farm only mile
from tliis city. especially wen located, which
win cut about 100 TONS Of hay Large, modern
barn, over 100 fest long. Good house. This
place win be worth Sl0,oe0 in a few years. Price
only $4,000, 1910
y. A. Perry Zeal Estate Agency, Rooms and
Q, Gordon Block, Barre, VT.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1906-07-26
cANcER-cAN II BE cuREpa
An Account of Some Experiments With
Trypsin, and Theory Of Cancer
Growth and Origin.

With its usual promptness IN prints
ing the first authentic and reliable ac-
counts Of all important discoveries 10
the field Of medicie, McClure's offers its
readers in its August number A ex-
tremely interesting article Cancer Can
it be CuredSs by G. w saleehy, MD.
FRS. lEdin.) which gives an account
OF experiments made by Br. John
Beard in the treatment Of the disease by
Trypsin; experiments that seemed %
prove that the active agent 81 rhs pan
creas viii destroy the malignant capeer
cells and bring about an absolute cure.
The theories Of embryology developed
by DR.. Beard, which led to the discors
erv Of the curative agent, are given in
full bv the author and form IN exceed
ingly interesting part Of the article.
Briefly, according to DIR. Boards theory,
i cancer develops from cells remaining in
the body from an aseyHal stage of the
embryo; cells which should have been
degenerated and absorbed or digested by
the fluids Of the panereas- an organ
which develops Just about the asexual
stage These are really germ-ceils that
might have developed into another or.
ganisnl, and therefore death BY cancer
II fratricide one germ-eell killing the
organism that has developed from its
brother. The article gives An account
of the experiments upon mice by which
this theory was established, and reports
upon the trial treatments that We're
made BY several physicians On the hi.
man beings
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1906-07-26
He Made Good.

Secretary Fred G.. Fisher has two
dollars to add to the gate receipts OF
The coming county fair Of The Dog River
Valley Fair association Or he can make
a good start on conscience fund.
A well appearing stranger about 65
years Of age called at the store Of
Fisher & Denison at the South Village
recently and inquired for Mr.. Fisher,
whom he said he understood was secre
tary Of the Fair Association. Being
told that his information was correct
but that SIR. Fisher was absent, Tho
stranger said that he was from Connect
cut but formerly lived ia Brookfeld and
when a boy sneaked onto the fair
grounds one year without buying q
ticket, and now desired to make good,
which he did by leaving ST.
The stranger departed without re-
vealing his name, but said that he was
going to Morfisyille to settle for d boy.
ISL prank there, the perpetrator OF
whom had never been discovered by
the parties who were damaged North.
field News.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1906-07-26
Bogus Eye Doctor Arrested.

Edward llasse, the bogus eye doctor,
who recently iictimized old and helpless
people ii many towns, including Brat
tleboro and Northfeld was sentenced
in the superior court in Greenfield, Mass
last week To not more than four nor less
than three years in state prison, He
will be taken to the Bristol county,
Mass, Jail to finish iiye-months' SEN
teuce before beginning has sentence in
states prison. Haase was arrested in
Springfield, but escaped from the officer
in Boston and was captured some time
afterward III Delaware. Previous to
starting from the jail in Greenfield he
was given razor with which to shave
himself. and bo made fake attempt
AZ suicide BY cutting cash hi his arm.
He was thoroughly frightened as be
bled profusely. Pie Jail physicians took
three stitches in closing the wound.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1906-07-26

10 RENT--John Mclean has large store
room at the rear OF his shoe store which he will
rent at d reasonable price. isftf
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1906-07-26
FoR sALr Ar assn rARM.

Hay Delivered promptly in bulk
Farm--i00-acre farm, First-class buildings.
Will cut 100 tons OF hay.
Lots--i00 acres in lots Of or 10 acres TO sn.t
customers.
Pasture--Ino acres pasture land without
buildings loid Mann farmj
Apply % George Cassie. East steee Of Perry
Real Estate Agency. at
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1906-07-26
CENTRAL VERMONT RAILWAY co.
Corrected to July i. 1905.


Passenger Trains leave Barre as followa
IL OF Midnight Daily. Boston, Spring
field and New York night express. Sleep
ing cars Montpelier Junction 70 Boston and
springfield. Saturday night train has no
connection fof New York; Connects At
Montpelier with train leaving at $50 q. IA.
for Montreal and the West
4 90 a. M Week Days only for VIII
Jamestown.
z .5s a m. week Days.--Iocal FOR Bnrling-
ton. St, Adams and Montreal
= IS a. m ~ Week Days only. Connects 81
Montpelier Junction with mail train for
Boston Springfield and New York. Parlor
car Montpelier Junction 20 New York with.
out change.
$50 a. m sunday Only. Newspaper
train for Burlington and ST. Adams.
1t.55 a. m. New England states Limited.
Daiiy Boston, springfield, New York and
New London fast express Cafe pallor car
Montpelier function to Boston. Meals
served q Ia carte. PaTior car Montpelier
junction 70 Springfield.
1 20 p. N. Week Days Only. For VIII
Jamestown.
Ra,iiy wssk pays Only Mail trsie
Junction Ogdensburg, Riehf0rd and Mon
treai Parlor cas- 70 Montreal from Mont.
pelief Junction
AIS D. m week Days Only. For VIII
Jamestown.
40 n. m.-Daiiv. New England states
Limited cafe parlor car Montpelier
junction 70 Montreal. Meals served h
carte Pullman sleeper to Chicago.
$50 d. N. Week Days Only, White Riv-
Ell Junction and New York Passenger
sleeping car Montpelier junction 70 New
Work without change, except saturday.
90 d. IN SUNDAY only. White River
Junction and New YORK. Passenger Sleep
ing car Montpelier Junction 10 New York
without change.
Trains reach Montpelier about 20 minutes af-
Ter leaving Barre,
G.. G. JONES, J. =. BENTLEY.
General Manager Con. Pass. Agt.
u o. ADAMS. Agent. Barre. VI
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1906-07-26

10 NT--Tenement of SIX rooms and bath
ON Branch street. Inquire OF the Barre Gran
lie and Quarry Co. Rooms and I, blanchard
Block. 1SSsf
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1906-07-26

10 RENT small house and two acres 81
land at South Barre. Apply TO }. ", Nichols.
Barre. 6sti