The Somerset reporter., 1906-07-12
Three Old Maids
and a Widow
BY C. B. LEWIS
Copyright, 1906, by NJ. M. Cunningham

| Copyright, 1910, by NJ M. cunningham
| O~~-~o~~~Y~-~->o~--~~.~~-
There are few towns of l. 800 popu-
lation that can boast of three old maids
and a widow living on the same street,
| but that was the case with Clifton.
| Miss Xinton was an old maid because
she never had met with a man good
enough for her Miss Hopkins was an
old maid because the young man she
would have married at eighteen was
sawed in two in IA sawmill and she had
vowed to be true TO his memory. Miss
Warner was an old maid because she
was determined to marry none but
minister. and all the ministers who
I came We're already provided for. The
: Widow Carter WAS a widow because
part of a house had fallen on her hus-
! band.
The old maids and the widow were
on visiting terms-in fact, they rather
| liked each other. Where there are no
male candidates for matrimony con-
| cerned old maids and widows can sit
! down together on the same veranda
without quarreling. After the widow
| had solemnly assured the old maids
that nothing on the face of this earth
| could induce her to be false to the
memory of her crushed, the quartet
| loved each other even more.
One day one of the merchants in the
| town sold out and a stranger came to
take his place. If he had been mar
ried man the dove of peace would have
continued to hover over Rose street,
but as he was single, only thirty and
| a catch the dove saw a hot time
| ahead.
The widow let no grass grow under
her feet in calling Mt the store and in
cidentally mentioning her name and or
| dering four pounds of sugar all at
| once. She was one of the Four Hun
| dred of the town, and on the part OF
the other 800 she babe Mr.. Strong wei
| come to their midst When he had
| thanked her she ordered two nutmegs
| and paper of starch, In addition to
the sugar, TO let him understand that
she wasn't obliged to pinch pennies,
and then departed.
An hour later her reprehensible con-
| duct was known to the three old maids,
and up went three pairs of hands; six
| eyes were turned upward in horror and
three mouths opened to exclaim in cho-
rus, How shocking"
Then, during the next two days, each
| of the old maids made an excuse to
call at the store and follow the pro-
gramme carried out by the widow.
| Each thought she was sly and slick,
| but they found each other out, and
from that moment the bond of friend
ship snapped asunder like an old
clotheslne left out in the storms Of
year
When women make war on each 9th
er they don't use fence rails to pound
! each other on the head In most cases
! they go right on treating each other as
nicely as they can to their faces, but
using daggers and the darkness to as
sassinate. The three old maids and the
widow gathered together as of yore,
| but the dagger was used whenever
| there was the least show.
| Mr.. Strong proved a social success
| The widow gave n little dinner and
| brought him out, but the old maids
! really monopoliZed him for the even
| ing. Then Miss Warner gave an exhi-
bition of her own paintings, which con-
| sisted of a COW apparently thrty-slx
feet long and of river running up
stream instead of down. and the wild
ow held Mr.. Strong's attention for an
| hour while she talked about her crush
| ed and departed.
AT the end of six weeks the man who
ran the sawmill and had a mortgage
on the mill dam figured 1t out to his
wife:
There are three old maids to one
widow, but If the widow gets left she'll
be the first one | ever heard Of"
| Even the small boys around town no
ticed how girly the old maids were be-
coming They giggled, they uttered
| cute little screams when they turned a
corner and found themselves face to
face with a COW, they Uttered when
they asked for gum drops at the gro
Gerry. AS for the widow, she set her
! jaw and walked into the store two or
! three times n week to ask the mer-
chant If he thought the Seventy sew
enth National bank of Boston was per-
| fectly sound and to sigh with relief
when he assured her of his confidence
| in the institution. Sly reports were
soon afioat that Mr.. Strong was paying
| his attentions to this or that one of the
! four. Then the other three would reply
! as one:
! well may be he is, but what on
earth he can see In her is more than |
can make out. She grows more home
ly and dowditied every day OF course
I'm telling you this In confidence, and,
| Of course. 1t won't go further"
One fatal evening tragedy after trag-
! edy happened, and the light went out
of several happy households. Mr..
| Strong boarded with a family living
| half mile from the store He wanted
the walk. He had to cross the bridge
over the river and ascend a hill COW
cred with woods and there wasn't a
house between his boarding place and
the town.
The three old maids and the widow
had had their eyes on this road from
the first They had soon begun walk
ing for exercise. They didn't walk at
the hours the merchant might be ex-
pected, and IL they encountered each
| other they made all manner OF ex-
cuses, but each one understood what
| 4. L