The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1906-09-01
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WIN ptomaines In oysters, clans. ice
cream and pie. II begins to look a. n
'he days OF the church festival were
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
a Hard Task.-"There's no danger"
7aid the doctor. Its only a carbuiscle
eO'ning on the back OF your neck. But
you must keep your eye on ltr
No Reply.-~That little girl has one
pad habit She always answers back 3"
IT Is easy enough to break her OF that.
Get ner a place as telephone girl"
1 hear your boss expects to raise
your salary this month" 80 he says
but he hasn't succeeded In raising all
OF last months yet.-PhiIadelphla
Press.
Give me a package Of chewing
gum I'VE don't keep such things.7
We'll, you've got card IN the window
that says Typewriter Supplies. ~
Houston Post
What kind Of pie Will you have.
Willie-mince or appler" "I'u take two
pieces Of each, please" Two pieces -
fe'em- Mamma told me not to ask
twlce."-Life.
Lover-Indeed I love you for your
self alone, Miss Mllyuns Helress-That
Is loan on which you can only Dor
row trouble, Mr. Cashunter.-BaIti-
more American
Fictim-What has happened7 Where
am II Doctor-You have been seri-
. ously injured In a trolley accident But
! cheer up-you will recover. Victim
How muchs-Cleveland Leader.
Servants Who Hang On.-'Publlc
oficeholders," said Cityman. ARE only
. servants after all" Yes" rejoIned
subbubs, "and l wish We could get q
servant who would hang on Ike they
do"
Where Ignorance Is Bllss.-Blobbs-
( When 1 get up to make speech fee
as though I had forgotten everything
knew. slobbs-What an Ideal witnes.
you would make In a trust inyestiga
ton.
j A young lady went into a well-knowr
D establishment a few days ago and SAID
D TO the ioor-waIker: DO you keep sta
, tionery?' mo. MISS" replied the man
If did 1 should lose ny job."-Head
light.
For goodness sake. What's tina
noiseT' The girl next door Is havinl
her voice cultivated HUH Appar
d emily the process OF cultivation ha
reached the narrowing season-"-Phila
e delphla Ledger.
Tramp (outside the gate)-DOe
% your dog bite7 Mrs weptonwish (ol
}, the porch)-Yes, he does, and-ot
u please, don't come In We are 50 par
d ticular about what we feed himl-Som
erTille Journal
: Mrs. Peckem-I know I'm a trid
= irritable at times. Henry. but IL I ha
I, to live my life over again I'd MARI
: you Just the same Mr.. Peckem-Ol
: no, you wouldn't You only think 20
= would.-Scissors
Al Hopeless.-Flynn-OI tell yez they
70 no use thryin' to lddica-ate thin Che
nese. Mulhooley-An' phwy's thot
P. Flynn-Oi list asked wan av thin th
ir Choinese wur-rud for st. Patrick's da,
e, an he couldn't tell me-
er Mrs. Jawback-Just like mani Tt
nc idea Of losing your temper and swea
e. Ing at your razor because It's dul
If Mr.. Jawback-Well. I've got rigi
D. TO. Didn't the razor lose It's temps
e Cleveland Leader.
- Visiting OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Il ing. madam; 1 am collecting for II
: Drunkards' Home. Mrs MCGUIRE
shure. I'm glad Of it. sor-if ye CON
ds round tonight yez can take my hu
x. -Harper's Weekly.
zee Rlvers-what have You got III
as string tied around your finger fo
so Brooks-By George, I'm glad u
at mentioned It That's to remind me
ls, ask YOU for the hver l lent you
10 month ago.-Chicago Tribune
ic. .Do Won think that wealth is esse
=, tial to happinessT' From some OF q
IL, letters 1 receive" said Dustin Sta
III 1T am inclined to think a number
81 people consider some OF my wealth
g, sential TO their happiness "-Ex-
she-AIbert. 1 have come to the co
cluslou that 1 love George better th'
love You. and He-What abo
"a. the engagement ring gave you
ate wear9 She-Oh, that's all rigl
he George SAYS he won't object IL 1 we
be- It
i'll Mr.. Subbubs-vhat's the matte
an where's the new servant girll NJ
ess subbubs-Oh! George. It was all m
ct, understanding. 1 told her she b
rst better dust this morning. and the ri
led ching 7 knew she had dusted--Phllad
~ ~ phia Press
AA Selashness.-The sowing OF the sc
0I q, selashuess has resulted in the cr'
ION and fostering OF trusts" and :
hor unions" the outgrowth OF Will
lbss been the Chicago strike, with
a It's woes.-Rev. A. R. Lambert Aeu
- dist, Chicago.
- Rownds-Of course. 1t was busin'
~ that detained ne last night u
- porrnds-Yesf Rownds-1es.
a. ~ tnow l wouldn't deceive you NJ
nj Rowpds-No, George, you wouldn't
III ceive me. no matter what you said
of Philadelphia Ledger
led Actually True: When a man ca
lis. rushing at a terrific pace 10 catch
cen staten Island ferry boat and arri'
lust in time to have the gateman 81
the door In his face. bystander
marked You didn't run fast enoug
ash II ran fast enough" replied the