Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1906-03-23
GOOD
Short

At a Kansas country fair was n far:
lily that would have gladdened Mr..
Rooseyelt's heart. The man went up
to a tent where an elk sas ca exhibit
ton, and stared w:atfully at the sign.
"rd like to E> il taere," he said to the
Keeper, ~n.t il would be mean to so in
without my family, and cannot afford
to pay for my wife and seventeen chill
dren." The keeper stared at him In
establishment. Are all those your chill
dren?" he asked "Every one" said
the man from the country. You wait
a minute" said the keeper, I'm going
to bring the elk out and let him see
you ALL"
F., Samuel Hubbard tells the following
story about the late Jerry Simpson,
sometime Congressman from Kansas:
Simpson was bitterly opposed to the
policy Of the government in acquiring
the Philippines, and stated his views
In such scathing terms that Represen-
tative Cannon, who replied to him,
said: IF the gentleman from Kansas
voiced such sentiments in Manila, he
would be shot as a traitor" 1mIne-
diately Jerry Simpson was on his feet
and drawled out: Il would rather take
my chances OF being shot in the Philip
pines than sit here and be area OF by
a rusty, old. muzzle- loading Cannon
from Illinois. :"
A college president. noted for the
extreme correctness OF his language,
and his closeness in money matters,
once bought a pair OF ready-made trou-
sers and had them sent home. The bill
read: TO A J. Thompson, debtor.
one pair pants, FIVE dollars" The ped
agogue called on Mr.. Thompson and
said pants" was incorrect; 1t should
be trousers Said the clothier: I've
been In the clothing business twenty
years and I've always sold two grades
of goods, pants and trousers. Trousers
are everything over five dollars In
price; pants everything Eve dollars int
under. Its pants I sold you, and Its
pants you'll pay for
Baron Bramwell one appeared for
the Crown In a case In Wales The
counsel for the defense asked permits
sion, as the jury vas Welsh, 10 address
Its members in their native tongue. As
the case was simple, the baron made no
objection. The Welsh barrister said
only a few words The baron also was
brief, but he was somewhat surprised
at a prompt verdict of acquittal- what
was It." he afterward inquired. that
MI. - said to the iury:" "oh. he
just said This 5 gentlemen, lies In
a nutshell You see yourselves exactly
how 1t stands The judge is an En-
xlishman. the prosecuting counsel Is an
Englishman, the complainant is an En-
glishman. But you + Welsh and l
am Welsh. and the prisoner is Welsh.
Need I say mores 1 leave it all TO
YOU
Sir Henry Irving once said: what
Is the good Of lawyers treating an hon
est and sensitive witness on The witness
stand as though he were q sneak thief:
A young man In my compaay was 8
witness In a case OF robbery. He had
seen 8 thief snatch a young girls pock-
eshceS and make OF. Well, the thief-s
lawyer cross examined my young friend
shamefully. He roared at him. shook
his Est at him. raved at him And al
what hour did all this happenT the
LAWYER, sneering. asked toward the end
OF his examination I think- my
friend began. but he WAS at onee inter
rupted. We don't care anything here
about what you think" said the law
yer, with a sort Of contempt. Don't
ron want to hear what / think said
my young friend mildly. Certainly
not the lawyer reared Then said
my friend I may rs well step down
from the box. I'm not . lawyer. i
can't talk without thinking