The Democrat-sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1906-1935, 1906-07-26


to the sure-things falling
I1rOm the eager tongues of the various
fG.Ijends we met thai we quite forgot all
about Flash and the busy barouche
The first cinch- builder we fell over
was Harry McDonough the inventor OF
the stingless mosquito now in use on
his Jersey farm.
Harry has the mosquito game down
so fine that he's going to take a double
sextette OF them into vaudeville next
season.
He has trained these twelve skeets
to sing 'Zobia Grassa," and Al Hol
brook has promised to teach them a
Venetian dance
Harry offered us four winners in the
first race and two cigars.
He told us If we lost to smoke the
cigars carefully and we'd forget our
troubles and our names; but If we won
we could use the cigars as firecrac ackers
Then we ran across jeff D'Angelis
the composer of the new tune now
played on the automobile horns.
jeff hadn't picked out horse to win
wagons Is so intense that he won't
even drink a horses neck.
He explained that he only came TO
the race track to show the horses his
smoke-buggy and make them shiver.
George Yates, the inventor of the
machinery for removing sunburn from
pickles, was there and he tried to pre-
sent us with sure winner in the third
race.
A little later on we discovered that
the horse Yates was doing rave over
had been dead for four years and that
the card from which he was lifting his
dope was the programme of the meet
at Sheepshead in 1896.
Some kind and thoughtful stranger
had lifted fifty cents from Georges
surplus and in return had stung him
with an ancient echo Of the pittypats.
Our next adventure was with Joe
Miron, the famous horse trainer and
inventor of the only blue mare in cap
tivity at Elmhurst
Say, why didn't see you guys be-
fore the first race; | had plush-cov-
cred pipe!" yelled Joe.
81 had that race beat to a stage
wait" Joe went on, enthusiastically
Why all you had to do was play
Il he Goblin Man to win and Muir
derallo' for place-it was just like
getting money from the patent medi-
cine business.
How much did you win, Ioe?" in
qured.
Who. mel" Joe came back, "Why
| didn't get here in time to place a bet,
4 drove over from Elmhurst and the
blue mare burst tire, But. say, I've
got a mothers darling in the third
race! Oh, it's o ladybug for certain
You guys play Perhaps to win and
you'll go home looking like Piern
Morgan after busy day. 1t can't
lose. this clam can't! Say. that horse
Perhaps wears gold.plated overshoes
and it can kick more track behind II
than any ostrich you ever see! Why,
it's got ball-bearing castors on the
feet and it wears a naphtha engine
in the forward turret. Get reckless
with the coin boys. and 90 the limit,
and II the track happens to cave in
and 1t does lose, I'll drag You down
to Elmhurst behind the blue mare and
make the suction pump in the back
yard do an imitation of Walter Jones
singing Captain Kidd with the bum
pipes.
Joe was so much in earnest about
1t that Bunch and put up fifty on
perhaps" and waited.
We are still waiting.
perhaps" may have been a good
horse but he had bad memory and
never could recollect which end of the
track was the proper place TO finish.
Joe must have left for Elmhurst i'm.
mediately after the race because he
failed to answer roll call.
Then we ran across Dave Terrence,
the famous inventor OF the disappear
ing trump so much used by pinochle
players
VINE" nauo hAoan to done EN- out
for )ply a small quantity of olive n
bool2ub this well in till the skin
Tbsorbed as much as it will.
but dry thoroughly. At night
lin a pair of loose white gloves,
er; for ventilation should have
outnger tips cut off and the palms
Ah.ured all over with stiletto,
OF with almond paste made by
yolg in half an ounce of rose wa
IA nough almond meal to form a
Go paste z
one How II Happens.