davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1906-05-15

Lady--What Is the real difference be-
tween an apartment. a fiat and tene-
ment house?
Janitor--In an apartment the ladies'
have no children. In a fiat they have
one or two. More than two makes any
house a tenement, mum.--Judge.
Maud, can't you play tennis without
all that noise?"
Nov, how do you suppose We are 500
ing 10 play tennis without raising y
racquet Baltimore American.
Arithmetic - Teacher How many
commandments are there, Sally?
Sally-Please, teacher, 10.
Teacher-Suppose you were to break
a commandment Impressive
pause?
sally--Then there be nine.--Punch.
Mrs. Nurich-I wonder what makes
all OF these little scratches In the floor.
Nurich--Oh. that's me. ] nearly broke
my neck on that slippery hardwood, 20
| had some spikes put In the soles OF
my shoes.-Detroit Free Press.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12
NOT EXACTLY LUxUBY.

These are interesting days, and we are slowly finding out what's what and who's who. A grand jury in Danville, Virginia, that found an indictment against a miniature combination of coal and wood dealers engaged in criminal conspiracy to interfere with the trade of the citizens of Danville" was unable to return true bill against a so-called lawyers trust, otherwise the Danville Bar Association, which was similarly charged with being an unlawful combination. The fact chat an agreement exists among the, local attorneys to control legal fees and that fixes a minimum scale for services is not disputed, but 1t is held that legal steps for breaking up the conspiracy could not be Een because the trust does not deal in the necessitie9 of life.
 Is law luxury? Many who have had experience with 1t don't seem to think so.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12
APPARENT.

Why don't you get up and give that seat to your father, Bobby?" repri- manded the woman. Doesn't it pain you to see him reaching for strap?"
 Not on a train chucked Bobby Philadelphia Inquirer.
 We had a woman whistler and a performer on the musical glasses at our church last Sunday"
 Anything else?"
 Nothing, save the usual monologue by the parson. Louisville Courier Journal.
 Mother-Tommy what did I say I'd do to you if you touched that Jam again?
 Tommy-Why, it's funny, ma, that you should forget. too. I'm blamed if I can Philadelphia Even- ing Telegraph.
 DO you approve of the plan of woman taking a husband on trial?"
 "Nope; if that practice became gen. eral the average woman would be having as much trouble keeping a hus- band as she now does keeping a ser want. Houston Post.
 Hear about the queer accident at the Robinses' house? Little four-year- old Willie took an old shotgun down from the wall, poked the muzzle in the baby's face and pulled the trigger"
 ITO bad! Same old story-didn't know it was loaded"
 "Tt wasn't loaded ed"-Judge.
 I'm sure I don't know what he saw in her. Her face is decidedly plain"
 "Yes, but the figure she has makes up for all that"
 Figure? She's positively scrawny; she hasn't any figure"
 You're wrong there. She has six figures, and the first ones a five."-- Philadelphia Press.
 Man, Sandy exclaimed Scotch man to his friend, as he stepped ashore at the wharf at New York. I'm glad to see you safe across. Hae ye had a fine passage?"
 100, ay, capital,' replied Sandy. "We hae got over safely enough; the only accident I heard O was that the ship had broken her record. Spare Moments.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12

mistletoe, forming two graceful hedges wherein dark green is enliyened by scarlet berries, making a fine eff feet A beautiful little structure re- preventative of the manager, showing the Christ-child, the Virgin Mother, and the shepherd kings in adoration, is set up in a corner of the hall. This Is always the special task of the Kali ser himself.
 When the Bescheerung is in full blast, everywhere are heard cries of "oh!" and "Ah" Delight, surprise and gratitude on all sides. Mother and father smothered under a shower of kisses, their children running to and fro, inspecting breathlessly newly unearthed treasures or cycling those of brother and sister. Most captivat- ing the stern Kaiser is then. Stand ing before his own layout he shows all the boyish good-nature and curiosity of his sons-poking his nose into this box or that case, making pretence of being unable to unite a parcel wrapped up with particular cunning, glancing through some new books or a portfolio of rare prints smiling, laughing, and shouting and being a child again among children. Wolf yon Schierbrand, in Lippin- cott's.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12

is one thing; the task of distributing 1t so that it may do less harm than good is another Of the twp tasks, the former is undoubtedly the easier of the two. The hard-headed business man has simply to organize his re- sources and keep multiplying his op- erations, and his results are sure, un- der ordinary conditions, to turn out advantageously. But when 1t comes to breaking up accumulated millions among those who are worthy, ther.; are few who are prepared to do il justly to all concerned.
 The parties concerned are not sim ply the donor and the recipient, The community has a right to exemption from distribution of wealth which demoralizes the spirit of industry and frugality, because, as Poor Richard was wont to say, these lead to wealth And self-earned cents are, as a rule better than donated dollars.
 Any distribution of fortune which puts a premium on indolence is de- morallzing. Whether it be the gilded youth, the lazy glutton, or the "ramb- ling rake of poverty who receives it, the effect is much the same. Honest industry, modest living and a share in the essential duties of citizenship are all weakened wherever the oppo- site vices are fostered by unwise di- vision of wealth.
 It may not be wise to enact any more laws on this matter just now. But popular thought should not de- ceive itself into thinking that any kind of distribution is a good thing. Many of them are not only not good uses of wealth, but are positively nuisances to the community.
 This is one of the dangers of the present time The ideal distribution of fortune whether great or small should look to a greater equalization of riches, and at the same time pre- serve rather than imperil all that is best in individual worthlness.-F the Wall Street Journal.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12
CHRISTMAS AT THE GERMAN
 pAIACF

|
 The Bescheerung (as the dlstribu- ton of gifts under the spreading Christmas tree is called in Germany is divided into two parts. First comes one for the members of the Imperial household, from the meanest kitchen scullion upwards, and this takes place in a large gallery of the Neues Palais. Hundreds of small tables are placed there, each covered with pres ents, and the whole scene Is dominat- ed by a Christmas tree, perfect giant of it's kind and magniicently vivid with it's myriad of vari-colored candles, stars and crescents of gold and silver, crystal icicles, iridescent snowballs, and hundreds of other glittering baubles. Each and every one of the servants, higher and lower officials is spoken to personally by Kaiser and Kaiserin, and the me ritorious old servitors are slapped on the shoulder and greeted with few kindly phrases. The lowing and scraping, hand kissing and formal expressions of thanks, having at last come to close, the second part of Bescheerung takes place.
 That is the one exclusive for the Imperial family themselves. It always takes place in the Muschelsaal-tha immense hall in the Neues Palais, the decoration of which is in mother of-pearl and beautiful sea-shells and clusters of coral of every kind. For this evening the hall is bordered on each side by evergreens, holly, and
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12
SOME BLIND JUSTICE.

A recent occurrence in Warsaw indi- cates that justice there is sometimes pretty blind. Frank Rowokowski was arrested and charged with having com mitted a crime of which he said he was guiltless. At the hearing witnesses said that he had committed the deed, and he was promptly convicted. Two weeks later he was brought to court again, ac- cording to the custom of the land, to hear the reasons for the sentence" Before going to court he agreed to ex- change places with another prisoner, and to demonstrate how easy 1t was to punish an innocent man. Lucian Zim- ny, with whom he changed places, had been accused of theft, and when the name was called Rowokowski came for ward. A woman looked at the prison CT and swore that he was the culprit, although he appeared to be somewhat stouter than he was when she saw him last Two other witnesses testified against him. and when he was asked what defense he could offer the man explained the situation. The fate of the prisoners is not told, but report CT recommends the Rowokowski case to the Consideration of judges who lis- ten to witnesses"
 This ought to be an eye-opener to the judge most concerned, and to other judges as we'll
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12
THE UNMARRYTNG GIRLS.

Now the talk is on again that college women don't marry enough, or, to be more precise, that enough of them don't marry. William L. Felter, an educator of Brooklyn, thinks that girls don't get the right education in their colleges
 He thinks the courses In women's col leges have been too closely patterned after those of institutions for men. He insists that the women's colleges are maintained for the direct benefit of a small minority, the peculiarly gifted the future authors, musicians painters and teachers-while the majority pur- sue the identical courses, with no spe- ciffc notifications looking to their ac- tual destiny-wifehood and motherhood. MT Felter would have the main aim of study for girls In high schools and col leges 'the cultivation of health. Healthfulness and holiness are synony- nous" Mathematics, which he consid- CTS a severe strain on the average girl or woman if she does it well, he would teach only in It's rudiments, Some household chemistry he recommends, with elementary physics, largely de- scriptive. A little physical geography, geology. astronomy and botany would be included, while zoology and morph- oIogy are emphasized, sociology and political economy should find their place, and art in all it's forms should not be overlooked. MT. Felter suspends judgment on the elimination of ancient tongues, but urges abundant study of English and other modern languages especially conversation. He adds ped agogy, child study and nursing.
 Right enough as far as it goes per- haps, but how can educated girls be fairly expected to marry the kind of men that are lying around-with em- phasis on the lying? Furthermore, how can uneducated girls be expected to? Let us have some talk about mak
 ing men fit to marry.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12
Charge of the Photographic Brigade.

Charge of the Photographic BrIgad, Half word, half word, Half a word sundered, All in q fight to death
 Rode the three hundred. 'Forward the Simplfied, Charge 1t to me" he cried; I'm on B. Matthews side
 Boom the three hundred!" Forward the Slmplifed, Was there letter sighed? Not though twas easy seen
 Teddy had blundered. Theirs not to make a kick, Theirs not to quarrels pick, Theirs but to skiddoo quick Into the document print
 Went the three hundred. Departments to right of them, Departments to left of them. Congress in front of them,
 Scolded and thundered; Storm'd at with words of scorn, Lambasted and left forlorn, Into the printing press, Into the Message, shorn,
 Went the three hundred Departments to right of them, Departments to left of them, Congress hot after them,
 Scolded and thundered. Chased from the Capitol, Bundled out one and all, Back to the way to spell--- None was there left to tell
 The fate of three hundred. Thus did their glory fade, Oh, what a fuss they made
 All the world wondered. Hooray for the stunt they tried, Hooray for the Simplified,
 Noble three hundred. Dan H. Low. in Providence Journal
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12

Tn letter to the Lancet Dr. Ranking of Oxford, tells of the use of frog skin for grating. For more than twenty years" says the physician, the frog has furnished me with gratis in all cases requiring such treatment, My first use of it was in my own case, had suffered for nearly three years from obstinate alteration of the skin of the foot, which had resisted all treat ment and steadily refused to heal. I began using gratis of frog skin in the middle of January, 1885, and in less than six weeks had sound covering of skin. At the present time, more than twenty years having elapsed, the cica- trix is perfectly sound, and has none of the puckering and stiffness so often seen in cicatrices where human gratis have been used" Dr. Ranking was so encouraged by this result that he used frog skin in every case Of the kind aft CT that, and at rough estimate must have used it in some three hundred or four hundred cases.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12
LET'S LET THEM IN.

The President sent another message to congress yesterday, and it was such a short one that everybody can and many will read it. In his long message the other day he said American citizen ship should be conferred on the citizens of Porto Rico. Now he says it again in the following winged words: l most earnestly hope that this will be done, cannot see how any harm can possi- bly, result from 1t, and 1t seems to me matter of right and justice to the peo- pie of Porto Rico They are loyal, they are glad to be under our flag, they are making rapid progress along the path or orderly liberty. Surely we should show our appreciation of them our pride in what they have done, and our pleasure in extending recognition for what has been done, by granting them full American citizenship.
 The Porto Rioans have certainly be- haved well and shown themselves ap- preciative of our beneyolence and benefcence. There doesn't seem to be any good reason why they should not be good Americans in fact as well as in behavior. Let's grant them the grand est privilege on earth.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12

"Who is the little man talking to the political boss over there?"
 That's Justasgood, the druggist
 "What does he want?"
 "He wants to have the prohibition law passed by the next legislature"
 But how can that benefit him?"
 "Eh! Didn't just tell you he was a ldruggist?"-Cleveland Plain Dealer. oi Knicker-When do you take the z}leavy meal of the day? RoclSer-When my wife cooks it, New York Sun,
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12
ADVERTISING RATES.

Situations, Wants, Rents and other small advertisements, One Cent Word, each insertion. Five Cents a Word Tor a full week.
 Display advertisements, per inch, 0na insertion, s1.2O; each subsequent inssr- tion, 40 cents; one week, $s'2O; one month, s1O; one year, S4O.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12
THE MAKING AND SHARING OF
FORTUNES.

The late Russell Sage entered Wall street at the age of fifty and left a fortune of about eighty millions for Mrs Sage to distribute. At an age when most people prefer leisure, she has put upon herself task which was meant in all kindness, but is after all one of the most trying and disappont- ing which one at any age can under take.
 The business of accumulating riches
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12

There is still money in farming, A sixty-eight-acre lot of abandoned land in Pennsylvania was bought last spring for $1,7OO. On twenty acres of it 43OO bushels of potatoes were raised this sea son, which sold for $2400.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12

How soon we are forgotten Ex- Speaker John G. Carlisle looked In at the House of Representatives the other day, and not person knew him.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12

Under the heading Numerical Co., incidences," the Milwaukee Free Press writes "Three hundred is the number of the colored troopers discharged un- heard by President Roosevelt: and 300 is the number of good English words put out of service, also without a hearing or word of protest until the deed was done'
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12

Some new subway routes have just been approved in New York. By and by, we suppose they will be approving air routes there.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12

Paraf1in wax models of all proposed British battleships are used by the Ad- miralty for tests before the keels of the ships are laid down, the miniatures being tested in a great tank. The models are from twelve to twenty four feet long. the tank being 400 feet long and twenty feet wide. The mod els are made of wax because 1t Is a material which does not absorb water or change It's weight, so that altera- tions can be easily made. and the ma- terial can be melted up and used again The American naval authori- ties also have models of all their hulls constructed. but these are much more elaborate than the British, being form ed of white pine and fitted with rud- ders, false keels, propeller shafts and all etcetras
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12

Sir Thomas Lipton says T have travelled in practically all the civilized countries of the world and do not hes itate to assert that, whether in hotel, railroad train, street car or any where else, there Is no place in the world where woman is safer, more respected or better protected than in the United States" This, perhaps 1t will be noticed, includes Fair Haven.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12

These are inquisitive times. A snails rate of travel was ascertained by ex- periments in Florence. Half a dozen snails were permitted to crawl between two points ten feet apart. Exact time was kept from the start to the finish, and thus the average pace was learn ed. The figures were then put into tables of feet, yards and furlongs, and 1t was found that 1t would take a snail exactly fourteen days to travel a mile.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-12

NEW HAVEN, CONN.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1906-03-17
BEFORE THEY HAD CHIMNEYS
Houses of Our Ancestors Warmed
Like Indian TeDees.

rhot ,ho,o ,,,,,,o n ol,I,,,,,o,,,, i,, a, :,
,a,,,L ,,,,aIs.,, a,s ,t,t..aa..,, S-.,,,,-,.-
seon,s 10 ha nro,,oa h.. ,t,a saoatioa
ignttoa,un, or nvr,taa,un, tbo o,,nsa,,,
hoii 20 ,,,a E,,,,,,t, a.. -. sa,, -
tho Eronch CO.. Too,oD E.oLouro
In ,ha M,dS,o 40 -, -, %
,orraoa raonto - s,nas f., ,La,a
-, -, - ~
- - y. P'N -. eo
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1906-03-17
COUNTERFEIT PLENTIFUL.
Bogus Silver Dollars Being Circulated
in Walla Walla.

Counterfeit silver dollars of the
date of 1896, are being found in large
numbers about the city, says the
walla Walla Union.
The coins are very close imita-
ton of the genuine, with the excep-
ton of being light weight.
The coin has evidently been cast at
later date than that stamped upon
the face, and many have the appear
ance of being one which has been in
circulation a long time. The records
of old time counterfeiters show that
the coins when first made, are either
carried a long time in the pocket, or
passed through revolving barrel,
which wears them down so they look
like old coins.
One other feature that shows the
coin to be bad, though not easily de-
tected, is the depth of the milling on
the edge. This was never made of
the usual depth because of its not
being so easy to wear off in the pro-
cess of preparing the coin for the
market.
How the coins came 10 be in this
city no one knows, yet they are here
and persons receiving much money
will do we'll to inspect all money of
the date Of 1895.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1906-03-17
CITY BREW TIES
Francis for signs; phone red 25O2

Francis for signs; phone red 2502.
Watch Gray Bros Grocery ad
grow.
Francis, the sign writer; phone red
1902.
Watch for the Peoples Warehouse
new delivery wagon.
Balance of pattern hats arrived
Friday at Mrs. Campbel's,
Cabinet photos. $3.50 a dozen.
Burns Bros, new Schmidt block.
For Sale-First-cl billiard and
pool table. Apply to Merchants bar
For Rent-Two modern six-room
cottages. Apply at S25 Water street
john Ga-en's Family liquor store.
Court St. opposite Golden Rule hotel.
We have our own delivery. The
Peoples Warehouse. where it pays to
trade.
Buy Pianola for your piano. Easy
terms. Eilers Piano House. Sl3 Main
street.
Insist upon your grocer giving you
Clevelands Baking Powder. There is
no substitute.
Cakes and biscuits made with
Cleveland's Baking Powder are al
ways moist and fresh.
Buy your groceries here and save
money. The Peoples Warehouse,
where It pays to trade,
Mrs. Valiant now has her hair
dressing parlors located in the new
Schmidt block. Room s.
Bursted water pipes a speciality.
Morrow the plumber. Phone black
3221; 6i3 Main street
When in Portland stop at the Hotel
Oregon. Rates 81 per day and up
ward. European plan. Free bus.
Put Pendleton people to sleep
peacefully and In perfect comfort on
3. NJ. o. E. Nuff sed. = RAIDER.
For Rent-Single room in East
Oregonian building; steam heat, + t
and cold water and bath on same
floor. Apply at this office.
Found-On court street, black fur
collarette. owner can secure same by
calling at this office and paying
charges.
The body OF an unknown man, ap-
parently laborer, was found one
morning hanging to a tree in the
high school grounds at Tacoma
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1906-03-17
COLD WEATHER HELPS.
Freeze Does Not Hurt Fruit and Kill.
the Pests.

The weather clerk gives promise
that the present cold snap will be
broken up today. He says there is
going to be fair weather, slightly
warmer" says the Salem statesman.
Everybody would be glad to see
the change. Oregonians like a good
spring rain much better than dry
cold or snow. Yesterday was bright
and sunshiny. but a biting cold wind
from the northeast made loafing on
the north side of the building dread
fully unpleasant. 1t is just the kind
of weather which breeds pneumonia
and the sooner it changes to regular
willamette valley weather the better.
So far as can be ascertained the
cold spell has done no damage to any
of the crops in the surrounding
country, with the exception of the
very earliest peaches, the few april
cots and the tenderest roses and
plants. There has been some suffer-
sheared during the warm weather of
last week and some loss of early
lambs, but altogether the injury
wrought by the unusual weather In
these parts is very slight
On the other hand there is well
grounded hope that considerable
good may come as a result of the
freeze. 1t is said that the aphis
which was so plentiful on grain, or
roses and on several varieties of young
trees, also the scale, which has beer
very general, was beginning to show
life as the result of last week anC
that the frosts of the past few night
have destroyed them.