Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-04-12
Man About Town.

udy WIFI cigar III MS hOuOh' IO
editor knew him as an old time politi
clan and plum tree shaker. "We'll bet
doughnuts he is smokeing yet"
Brother Blum says to Jasper Harris,
"where is that umbrella / lent yon;"
Jasper replied, 81 lent it to Harry
Lloyd, why?" Well says Blum, ''the
man l borrowed it of says the owner
was asking for it,"
A lady in Mike Hogan's asked the
price of butter; Mike said good butter
is selling for 25c pound" "Dear me,
says the lady, havn't you something
cheaper" yes, said Mike, 81 can sell
you some soft soap for six cents
pound"
In searching the catacombs, and
other ancient repositories for the dead,
they have never found a female
mummy. 1t is not strange; you can't
make a woman dry up and stay dried
up.
-.
This is certainly an age of graft.
We ought to adopt the methods of
some western towns. When a public
officer is found appropriating any
public money they don't suspend him
from Office, but from a tree.
-.
The Sage of Portge remarks, "there
are times in mans career when he is
1t; when he is baby; when he is
bridegroom and when he is a corpse.
-.
Uncle Peter says, once when hunt
ing in the woods in Maine he was treed
by the most ferocious bull moose that
ever walked, and when he was safely
freed he found his ammunition had
given out. Thinking of his mother,
brothers and sisters and loved ones at
home, tears came into his eyes and
rolled down into the palm of his hand
and froze as hard as marbles. Taking
the frozen tears he rammed them into
his gun, blazed away and killed the
moose.
Years ago the red man scalped the
white man. Now the white man skins
his friends.
Money is the root of all evil. The
most of the rich should be root-hog-or-
die.
The Declaration of independence
says all men were created free and
equal. How about that Rockefeller
baby that has $500, 600, 900 coming.
-
A young man in town is troubled
with a stomach difficulty. The doctor
told him to keep away from sweet
things" guess he DON'T obey the doctor
for we saw him walking yesterday with
a sweet young lady.
4*s
We noticed in our photographers
the other day lady having her pic
ture taken. Look pleasant said the
photographer, ''click" went the camera
It's all over he said; you can now re-
sumo your natural expression.
1t is reported at police headquarters
that colored family in town are eat
ing chicken for dinner every day.
-.
The questions before the Windowsill
Club this week are, SHOULD chewing
gum be included in typewriter's sup
plies'' and ''should person learn to
play the piano by note when they can
pay cash."
XIX
death loves shining mark.
That's why good many people around
here don't fear it.
~
Pianos are grand, spare and upright;
can you put your hand on many fel
lows around here that are like pianos?
#**
I'm union there is strength" Except
when you unite whiskey and water.
~
A man said to JudgeBrennan;" ;"Judge
"hd1 Would you De II you were not
Irish" Ashamed of myself, said the
Judge.
#4#
We are sorry to say subscriptions for
our Easter hat are not as brisk as 1--WE
expected. If we are compelled to
wear our old hat to church
Easter Sunday, we ask the con-
gregation to temper the wind to the
shorn lamb and make as few remarks
about it as possible.
GASSAwAY.