davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
A BENCH SATIRIST.

The Washington Post presents its
congratulations to Judge Wofford Of
Kansas City, for the Judgment pro-
nounced by him In q recent conviction
upon q charge OF murder In his court.
The defendant was Wallace Cooper, q
wrctched. ignorant negro, who had
slain another negro who. himself had
committed two murders. When the
jury brought in a verdict of guilty
Judge Wofford made these remarks:
"Wer, you're guilty of murder, all
right, but you're poor. Ignorant black
man, and l don't want to hang you.
You hayo no friends. You have no one
to plead that you were insane when
you killed this man. II l sentence you
to hang you will hang just as sure as
there's a God In heaven. There Will not
be lot Of women circulating petitions
to save your neck, There will not be a
lot of fool men writing letters TO the
Governor TO save you. No one Will
send you flowers. You'll just be for
gotten until the day set for your hang
| Ing, and then they'll hang you. I'll
| sentence you TO thirty years IN the
penitentialy."
| II is a pleasure to echo the praise
Which the Post bestows-not SO much
because the Judge mercifully withheld
the death sentence. as because In so
doing he satirized the offense which
society commits in coddling nurderers.
and thereby administered lesson In
such vivid way as to correct the evil
for some time to come In his immediate
neighborhood. The admonition which
| he administers is as necessary else
where as In Missouri We have IN tho
Utah penitentiary at this time despera-
does convicted of murder in the first
degree and saved from execution by
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
CALM CONNIVING 4"

An article reprinted from the Union
signal under tho title. The Smoot
Case Once More" expresses with some
intensity a feeling which IS. unfortu-
nately. altogether too widespread in
the United States In explanatory
sentence II charges the President OF
this Republic and our highest Iegisla-
tive body with having calmly con-
| nived" 10 evade the vital question Of
the Smoot case. 1t assumes that the
| suppression has been effected for po-
litical reasons; and the inference 10 be
drawn from its arraignment is that the
Republican party OF tho Nation eX-
poets to profit by its protection OF the
Mormon apostle.
Tho other Side should be heard. Set
ting aside the immortality of such a
transaction In politics, the suppression
Of the Smoot case by the Republican
majority would be so lacking In po-
litical sense that 1t Is inconceivable
that a party renowned for Its intclli-
gence should indulge In such a foolish
bargain. The supposed object would
be to gain Utah and the surrounding
States; but surely Republican leaders
must know that they would merely
place their partys control Of the
intermountain region in jeopardy by
any alliance with Smootism. Without
the apostle and his malign influence
In politics Republican ascendanCy
here is assured; with tho apostle in
nd nf
in Utah, and with his influence mani
tested upon the party organization In
surrounding States, Republican defeat
Is almost equally assured, The loss of
the intermountain States Is only a
bagatelle OF disaster compared with
the calamity which the Republican
party would invoke for itself through
out the Nation by any 'conniving,'
calm or otherwise. with the leaders OF
tho Mormon church to protect its en-
bassador In the Senate of the United
States. The moral sense OF this coun-
try was aroused to fierce activity by
the confessions made upon the witness
stand by Reed Shoots associates. The
patriotic sense OF this country was also
lnfamed TO a pitch Of high and justi-
fed indignation at the showing OF Reed
Smoot's citizenship in an alien mon
archy. To protect the apostle as
lawmaker while he Is the representa-
tive co-partner OF lawbreakers. TO
maintain him in a position OF legisla-
tive authority over tho general citizen
ship OF this country. of which he Is
not citizen except in form-these
things would be so hurtful, In the pub
lie esteem, to the party OF great moral
ideas that II seems impossible for the
Republican President and the Repub-
lican Senate TO have calmly connived"
TO force the burden Of Smootism upon
the National organization.
The real test OF the correctness or
the mistake OF the Union Signals views
will be had next winter.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
THE GREAT WEALTH CENTER

The figures OF the assessed valua-
tlon Of New York city are enough to
make the rural communities through
out the United States sit up. The
valuation of $6,305,794,9S5 is 80 enor-
NOUS that it is hard for the mind to
grasp It. At the total tax rate OF this
city this valuation would yield a reve-
nue. OF over s20.000,Ooo
The Increase in the New York city
assessment this year over last Is s593,-
649,95S, which increase In itself Is a
great deal more than the total yalua-
ton in each OF half Of the States in the
Union
And still, with all this. there is no
question but that New York City prop
erty escapes taxation in greater de-
gree than does property in any other
part Of the country. When we read
OF the personal property Of Russell
Sage being put at a mere nominal fig
ure away below S1,000.0O0. while he
habitually has at call twenty times that
much in the banks; when the Wander
bilts are assessed at a quarter OF q
million dollars in personal property.
and when ]. Pierpont Morgan Is valued
In personal property at less than half
q million, and when large blocks OF
property do not secm to be taxed at
ALL 1T Is realized that after all the tre-
mendous valuation OF the assessment
roll in New York City Is far below
what IT Justly should be
But the concentrated richness OF
that small spot in the great area Of
this country shows to what an extent
modern methods can and do pile
values upon values and squeeze the
absorbed riches OF the whole Nation
within a small compass. New York Is
great In property, great In It's tax
dodgers, great in its arrogance, great
In It's selhshness. but greatest OF all
In its commercial. industrial and finan-
cial relations to the United States at
large
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
EMINENT DOMAIN.

Colonel A. Cory of Cedar City, Utah,
writes 10 his home paper Ca sheet of
radical Mormon procllvities) an article
on stray horses. He says that they
should be gathered and sold, and the
proceeds turned into the State school
fund; end to this opinion he adds the
following significant remarks:
While l realize that It Is a big 9x-
pense to tho drivers to collect the
horses, the law should be strictly
carried out and T think our constable
has carried out the law strictly. and
has sold them and put the brand on
bishops and a crowd have gathered
horses by the carload and shipped them
without making an attempt To adver-
tise them or comply with the require
ments OF the law.
The Colonel is no more nor less than
an iconoclast. The law may be on his
side. but nevertheless he Is q destroyer
of community gods. A man OF such
long experience should be aware that
the right OF eminent domain attaches to
the ecclesiasts. The law may have
been passed with their full assent. but
they are not necessarily bound by t.
II Colonel Cory is not careful his ap-
peal TO the statutes and his criticism
of the bishops Che means. Of course, the
county, will brand him as an assassin
of character and an enemy of our
people"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
Observer Observations

observe that no one ever floats UP
stream. But they who overcome the
current Of evil habits and influences
must pull at the oars ana pull hard,
too.
That with most people there 10 fun
in nothing that Isn't surrounded with
danger.
That according to the Deseret News
the 'Morrnons' have exhibited quite
as much genuine patriotism in peace
and In war as have any OF their ac-
cusers." please produce your record
for 1857 to 1865, inclusive, Mr.. Deserel
News)
That some people are contemplating
putting the flag at full mast instead
OF at half mast as on some othet
Fourths.
That If c. W. Penrose tells the truth,
a good" Mormon cannot take the pro-
posed test oath in Idaho. II is either
Uncle Sam or the Church, Teddie or
Joseph F
That the minority" Senators in the
Smoot Investigation have a film over
their eyes and a cloud over their brains.
That the scream OF the American
eagle doesn't drown the yell Of tho
American boy who stood over the Can
non cracker" to watch 1T go of, nor
the wall OF the mother who gathers up
the fragments OF her child.
That the hand on the dial OF prog
ress" Is often turned back by the dog
in the manger."
ON SUM UTHER THINGS.
I observe dat IT am no mo- demo al
izin' To- a niggah to shoot craps den II
am 70 a white man to shoot nlggahe.
Dat eberybody preach again shootin'
craps, but nobody aber say muffin agtn
shootin' niggahs.
Dat hit make all de Offence In de
void wheder hit am black man and
a white woman or a white man and a
black woman.
Dat II ha coon" wanter be 'spected
by oder folks a little he mus 'spect
he self a whole lot.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
THE DAYS LESSON

II ie ten wears today since Utah, ae
sovereign state OF the Union. frat cele-
brated the independence Of the United
States as a Nation on that nomen-
tous Fourth of July. 1895, the whole
people of this commonwealth we're
thrilled by the knowledge that they
were citizens OF on eternal Republic.
equal nheritors of It's glory and equally
responsible for the maintenance of Its
mission among mankind.
It is a good hour to scan the years
and zee what they have brought TO u.s.
to consider whether the high expecta-
tions and the splendid promises OF that
time have been fulfilled IN the States
relation to the country.
There had been nearly fifty years Of
waiting, there had been all the strus-
giles of physical character in the build
ing of the commonwealth; there had
been almost incessant conflict with Ma
tlonal authority; and at last there came
peace and fraternity and equal oppor-
tunity for all Utah's people with their
fellow-ci citizens OF this Republic one
of the most sagacious statesmen of the
community said in heartfelt tones. AT
last, at last. 1t has come, Statehood is
worth everything to us!"
All that was asked Of Utah was that
she should fulfil her own promises, that
she should be as grateful In the per-
formance OF her duty to the Nation as
the Nation was generous in accepting
her pledge. Has this commonwealth
lived up to the ideals which were then
set before her people and which were
accepted in a glorious passion of pa
trlotism? Or have her people used the
power. 80 benefcently bestowed. to defy
the authority which made the priceless
gift, and to scoff at the ideals which
they promised should be their eternal
glides7
On this day every citizen OF Utah
should remember that during the ten
years which have passed since July 4,
1895. one-half of the time has been
spent IN contention with the National
Government. The man to whom that
fact 1t not ali admonition to better
things for the future OF Utah is unde-
serving OF the glory which has immor-
talized this day.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
BEECHER REWARDED

The best humorous quotation 1
know" said Mark Twain at a dinner.
was written by a Western Journal
ist. It Is forgotten now. 1t Is out
OF print Therefore I am going to re-
peat II to you"
The humorist paused a moment.
II wish knew" he said, ''the West
ern journalists name. If I did. I'd
mention II here. so as to give the man
due credit For he wrote a good joke,
and It's pity that his name is not
nailed to It
The joke is about Henry Ward
Beecher. Now, please. listen closely. -
And the humorist racited:
Said the great Congregational
preacher
To hen: You're a beautiful crea-
ture"
The hen. just for that
Laid three eggs in his hat,
And thus did the Henry Ward
BeeGhAx"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
Sh rt Storie.

A BISHOP ON THE p1,sy,,n
Bishop Talbot OF central ps.,
vania relates. in Harper's Mas.
some OF his amusing experiences -
west during his missionary davs
there In the eighties, A charac,s-.
experience is the following:
Reaching Clayton about ~.
was met cordially by NV hos,
nade me alisht and partake Of hi.
pitality 1 was somewhat LATE fo,
ner, but the dinine-roon1 n,or
open. and I soon found rnyseIs ..
at the table. Scarcely had ~
my dinner. when a man in an
corner OF the room hailed me- tn
voice. "ie III
your saio ne Is
Yes I replied.
Bishop, come over th,s w.v
eat with feller,' beckoning ~
BY this time I had easily dIsoS,,. /.
that my friend was far fron, ~
l declined the invitation To joir
by reminding him that I baS aI~s
'~Ss anu llidl III WOnlA hn
convenient To have my disbne 80
over to his table. added that I v,
see him after dinner. That suevss
did not at all satisfy him. He ssid
Bishop. are you going 10 tsI,
the boys here tonight?' I told
that was my object in coming "a
camp. Well he added. 7 am
for God knows these fsllers here t,
IL. You gee. bishop. the trouble
the boys here Is that they drink
much He was obviously the Iasf
son to complain OF that tendenc,
the part Of his brethren. So
tured TO say, We'll, my frienS +
very sorry to hear that, but n
VIII pardon me. 1t seems to ma
you are suffering from that same I
bic yourself just now
He saw my point, but was r,
for my sally, and quickly reioi
You are right, bishop; but don't
see. when the bishop comes. a 4
Just has TO celebrate"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
DIAMONDS GO UP.

New Ork Press,
There will be rise Of so per cent in
the value of diamonds within the next
year a dealer in precious stones said
the other day, This man, who has one
of the biggest establishments in Maiden
lane, said that he had information that
the Diamond Trust would make one of
the biggest boosts in the price of the
stones which has been made In a long
time. and he has advised his friends
to hang on to any good stones that
they have. The demand for stones has
much to do with this advance. The
great prosperity in the farming dis
tricts has brought diamonds as we'll
as automobiles to the wives of the
men who raise grain hogs and poul-
try. The demand is steady and the
importations are running this year
about q per cent above the high record
OF 1905.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
JEWELS CHANGED BY RADIUM

New. York Press.
Radium rays are still a great source
OF wonder to scientists and experi-
ments with them show strange results.
Herr Miethe subjected varieties OF pre-
cious stones to the rays. and he found
that many OF the gems changed color.
A colorless diamond from Borneo be-
came pale yellow after eight days of ex-
posure to the rays OF an impure radium
bromide, and the color became much
darker after another eight days, The
light blue OF a sapphire changed to-
green after an eXINsure Of two hours
to the rays. and after fourteen days
the color became yellowish-brown. A
tourmaline with a green end became
entirely green when subjected to the
rays,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
TT APPEALED TO HER.

Lie,
would you not like to fly with
to some hidden part of the worl
asks the enamored youth, where
false conventions OF modern society
things unknown. where the hamper
requirements of our present Civilian
are unheard OF, where the people
near to natures heart. dreaming nau
of our silly changes of fashion. kn'
Ing naught OF the allurements OF
and dresses and"
20. Harold" exclaimed the sv
young thing. rs there such a pla
oh, how wonderful 1t would be TO
there!"
do you mean that you would 8
he cries, his voice thrilling with W
drous upsurging of soul.
Would I? 1t would be HEAVIER
Think OF being able to Introduce all
latest things In bridge and shirt Wa
and bonnets among those women,
make them realize what frightfuo o.
numbers they are."
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
GREAT MYSTERY SOLVED.
- 10 An1-

bullellH
why" said the landsman. ARE
sailor trousers so baggy at the bot
toms2"
They are baggy at the bottoms"
the mariner replied, $50 that they Will
roll up above the. knee conveniently
and easily. Sailors are great deck
washers. and in deck-washing It Is
necessary to have the legs bare to the
knees Trousers of ordinary cut,
rolled above the knees, would cramp
the flesh OF the upper leg and impede
the circulation, but sailor trousers
may be taken by their wide bottoms
and pulled In a tiffy up to the hip.
They fit the upper leg like hip
boot
Sailor trousers, in q word. have
so odd O shape because they are cut
from the knee down to fit the leg from
the knee up"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
AUNTIE'S MEMORY.

Boston Herald
An old colored woman down IN
bama was reputed TO be OF great
and was extremely proud OF The
tinction. The proprietor of a muse
on hearing Of her. sent one OF his ar
to make an investigation, as she W,
be a valuable acquisition TO his
scum The agent piled her with a,
tions regarding her age. He asked
"Auntie, do you remember CD
Washington a
Does l remember George Wash
TOM Laws a massy, mistah, rec
I does. for / done nussed him wheI
was chile :,
well. 1 suppose you remember
Revolutionary War;
Yes, Indeed. 1 does, honey. 1 q
dar lots of times an seen de bu
nyin' round as thick as hailstones,' =
We'll, auntie, how about the faI
the Roman empire? Do 20 reco
anything about that?" :.
She reflected awhile and said:
fact is, honey, 1 was purity yo
then, but I does member now
speaks OF 1t. dat ] did hear de n
folks tell bout hearing som'pin
bout dat time"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
THE GREETING.

Tick, tick" says the clock
Up above me on the wall
Time is going. past recall.
Why let old friend Duty knock
And not open UP the door?
Or has Duty called before
And been told to call again?
Must she ever knock in vain >"
Tick. tick" Yes, 1 hear.
But I'm busy now. you see
Go away, don't bother me;
Come around again next year
When I have more time to spare
What? It's Chance that's knocking
three2
Come right IN: why howdy do7
I've been long expecting you"
PUCK
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
TWINS.
New York Tin

New York Times,
The passenger agent OF Jersey
says that he CHANGED 10 De III
ticket Office at Trenton one ody w
a woman came into the station lol
purpose of buying half.faro ticxe.s
two children she brougnt WIN hs..
How old are your Children naaal
asked the ticket seller
''Only six. sir.
Both of themT -, & =
Yes, sir; they're twins.
The agent smiled. Then' a1ter
ing the youngsters with an e~Pres.
of incredulity, he observed a..
lads Where were tney ooth'
This one" replied une
mother. was born In Eiizaoetn'
the other I'm Jersey City"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
MIsTooK 1T FOR FACE LOTION.

Cheap Labor,
An Erie woman who is very partial
to a particular brand OF face wash
bad occasion to go into her daughters
room the other day. and she espied SIT
ting on the dresser bottle OF her
kind" "Eh, he" she said. "Mary's
got bottle Of this an she wasn't goin'
to let me know anything about It: I'll
just fool her a trip an put some OF It
on" And she did. a good thick coating.
But II looked funny and felt queer and
her cheeks burned terribly, but she
never mentioned IT to soul. The next
day she again had occasion to go into
her daughters room and-Oh!- oh! oh! (!
She found her polishing her white can
vas shoes out Of that same bottle.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
FEARED HE WAS A cANN1BAl

Pittsburg Press
A new arrival In the town ente
q restaurant and ordered his dlnner.'
had lust been served when a large.
tund person entered and seated. ~
SELF at the same tible, and NM
reached over and helped himself TO
neighbor's bread. which he soon
ished; seeing that the other e
boiled potato had not been toucneo.
took that and ate 1t without remov
the skin. A piece of chicken follow
By this time the waiter reappes
ana handed the bill Of fare TO the M
Roast beef; roast pork. Which 81
7 .sks7" said he. well, 1 guess
can bring me roast beef; double
der
THANK heaven" said the man
posite. 80.
"Eh? What did you say. sir?
II said Thank heavsn!' . was skf'
you wore q cannlbaL
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04
PALMISTRY INDICATED.

PALMISTRY INDICATED.
Answers
The fair amateur palmist looke(
the left hand OF the sweet younGi
long and earnestly. ~
Breathlessly she waited for
palmist's next words.
"Ahl l see by your hand that
are engaged to be married." said
palmist.
How wonderful" exclaimed
bride-to-be.
And" continued the reader OF
future and the past, in a more
ting tone, IT see that you are engI
to Mr.. I.ooney."
"Oh, it's perfectly extraordina
burst out the blushing girl. -
could you know that?"
"By my long study of the scier
was the reply.
But surely the lines In my
cannot tell you the ma"
who said anything about lin
replied the prophetic one, with wit
ing scorn. You are wearing the
gagement ring 1 returned him {
weeks ago"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

Tailors can see very good reason
for The proposed changes in the uni
form OF army officers. as the cost Of
the now clothes will be greater than
that OF the old.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

Mr.. Howell thinks that this would
DC very poor year. indeed. to make
a change in Utah's representation at
Washington.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

Davis county vegetable growers can
see that the green grocers OF the city
are not all that their business name
might. imply
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

In number of Utah towns there will
be orations today, but in Salt Lake
explosions Will furnish about all the
patriotic noise of the day.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

Among those who would like to OBJ
serve the Fourth in quiet and peace
1ul manner may be counted the fire
department. members.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

Logan cannot very we'll see how
money expended with It on account OF
the Agricultural College is not we'll
spent
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

Representative Howell Will not be
able TO complain OF lack OF attention
whenever he IS In Ogden, until that
city's postofiice contest is ended.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

Governor Cutler could not have
talkel much more vigorously on Sun
day evening in favor OF freedom OF
political action If he had been in earn
CT
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

I Utah VIII observe the Fourth In va
rious ways. even II it is not entirely
free and independent
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

Celebrators of tho Fourth should
have too much respect for the ordi-
nance against explosions TO ask police
men Ito assist them in violating It to-
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

Feeling the need OF All endorsement
at fhe polls. Senator Smoot Will hardly
be able 10 consider any brother who
opposes il innocent OF unchrIstIan-like
conduct -
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

e You Will probably be able to wake
up this morning of the glorious Fourth
without being called.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

Before swearing at the noise of the
day. consider whether 1t is right to
swear at something so much like what
you used to make yourself,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-07-04

Today. the owners of the cooling
pleasure resorts Will be satisfied with
any degree OF temperature SO long as
II is above 80