davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
HEN MAKES RoosTER's TOILET
Blddy Carefully smoothes the Fancy
Feathers Of Mate and Straight
ems Out PIunnaoe

ems Out PIumage
Special to The Herald.
RIVERHEAD, L, l., Jan. 7.-There Is
hen in this place that has evidently
been taking some lessons from those
particular women who see to It that
their husbands look well upon all oc-
casions, even II 1t is necessary to comb
his hair for him and smooth out his
mussed up clothing.
This particular hen was noticed yes
terday calmly, carefully and delber-
ately smoothing out the pretty short
and fancy feathers around the head and
neck of her llege lord, the rooster that
scratches gravel for her and always
calls when he finds choice morsel.
II. W. Lane Is the owner of q fine
pen of white Brahmas. The birds are
excellent ones, and many people stop
to admire them as they pass by. Dark,
the fowl the plumage on the males be-
ing, of course, the handsomer.
Yesterday reporter was going by the
yard where the hens live, and stopped
to admire them. ChantiCleer sat doing
in the sunshine Close beside him stood
one of the proud female members of the
household, carefully and deliberately
smoothing out the fancy feathers of
the rooster with her beak by drawing
IL lnIOuBH Ine IedtneFS from MS mead TO
the wings, being careful to lift the beak
In returning for another stroke, so that
the feathers would not be mussed the
wrong way. After this labor of love
had been performed satisfactory on one
side the hen walked around to the
other, and then finished up by straight
enlng out in the same way those under
his beak leading down to his wishbone
The reporter watched the hens min
istratlons sor five minutes and the hen
was still at it when he left.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
ANGEL SHOWED HIM HOW
Man Who Dreamed Out Deivce Now
Sues Railroad Company
,.... for $50o,00o
Special to The Herald.

Special TO The Herald.
HOLLIDAYSBURG, Pa, Jan. T.
The most interesting suit, and the one
involving the largest amount of money
ever heard in the Blair county courts,
was commenced here today, in the case
of Millard +. Blake of Martinsburg'
against the Pennsylvania Railroad
company, for $500, ,O0O for use of his
patent drop-bottom cars.
Blake claims that he had a vision
during an attack of fever, in which an
angel appeared to him and explained
to him how to build a railroad car
which would carry 100000 pounds, in
stead of the 10000 carried by the old
style cars.
He obtained u patent on his inven-
tion, and showed il to the -3ennsyl-
vania railroad officials. who, he says,
have since used his device without pay
ing him for the same.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

The Los Angeles-Pacific trolley COM
pany will issue $1O,OOO,0O in bonds next
month for betterments, including in
creased trackage, more cars, new
branches, greater power and a stand
ard gauge. This sum would build an
entire road almost anywhere else, and
it's expenditure by a company already
possessing one of the best systems in
the world merely calls attention to the
stupendous electric trolley development
hereabouts.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
so HE SHOWS HIS THANKS
AS His Girl Weds Another Man, the
Tilted Bridegroom Sends
Rival Gift
snecial ln The Werald.

Special 70 The Herald.
OMAHA, Jan. 7.--Willam Neuman
of Blair, .Neb., came to town today
with his best man to be married this
evening. He found that Miss Nora
Whitlock, the bride-elect, had run
away from home on Saturday in the
travelling gown which was to have
been her bridal robe.
Her mother received n telegram from
Miss Whitlock, who had gone to Lin
coln saying she would marry William
Teeters at p. m, the very hour at
which she was to have been made
Neumans Wife.
Neuman, sincerely in love with the
young woman, sat down and wept
over his disappointment. Then he
took q practical view of the situation.
He wired his congratulations to Mr.
and Mrs Teeters, and he sent on to
the couple the valuable gift he had
brought for his intended bride.
Miss Whitlock, who is trained
nurse, had Teeters for a patient in
sanitarium here, and carried him
through "A critical illness. He fell in
love and proposed. She told him of her
engagement to Neuman Teeters
urged that it was her privilege i'm any
case 20 choose the man she should
marry, and so she chose him
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
PASTOR TURNS SALESMAN
Preacher Takes a Place in a Store
Rather Than Have Hat Passed
for Salary

Special to The herald.
COLUMBUS. Jan. 7.-"This is the
last time you will have to do this for
me-" said the Rev. ID. j. Good, pastor
of the Chicago avenue Church of
Christ, Saturday evening as several of
his parishioners went down into their
pockets to make up his unpaid salary.
This morning he took his place be-
hing the mems furnishing counter in
a store as clerk.
In explanation Mr.. Good said that
he had bought home and must meet
the payments ON il. If the church
could not pay his salary when due he
would have TO find other employment.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
Robber Barons

Capt, Kidd folded his paper and
calling his bold crew forward made
the following brief address;
"My men, 1 have called you out to
tell you that l am weary Of chasing
merchantmen for plunder and am
going ashore and open am office where
the plundehng can be done IN all kinds
OF weather without rough exposure"
"What kind of AN Officer" ventured
the daring crew.
office like this New York paper tells
about, Dispatch.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
DIED AFTER DRINKING MILK
Young Man Loses Life, Though He
Wins Saloon Wager-FoIlowed
With Beer
Special to The Herald.

SptCIaI 70 The tefaIU.
AIERIDEN, Conn, Jan. MAX Lich-
tenfeld, q years old, made wager last
night that he could drink -four quarts
of milk. One of his companions took
the bet, and the young man accom-
plished the feat while sitting in a sa-
loon.
He then drank a quantity of beer and
seemed to suffer no i'll effects, but this
morning he was found dead. and the
medical examiner declared the cause to
be acute gastritis.
Lichtenfeld. who was member of the
Turner society and had key to the
hall was found there this morning by
the janitor, He had been dead for some
time.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
Woman Of Il

mo" she said. I'm afraid I do not
love you enough to become your wife.
but shall always be your friend and
sincerely wish for your happiness"
"Oh, that's all right" he reioined
II have made up my mind to"
please don't do anything rash" she
interrupted
"Ill not" he continued. "Tm going
to propose to Miss Plumpleigh tomor-
row."
"Oh, horrors!" she exclaimed please
siye me another day to consider dear"
From the Chicago News
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

OF course, there is a vast difference
between the iniquity at Ascot and a
private crap game among ones own
employees in the privacy of ones own
basement.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
At the Show

This world is but a f1eeting show"
The preachers tell us. AS we go
Thro life, we then our eyes should ussi
See what we can, without abuse.
From curtain up to exit ALL"
Be ready for the Prompter's call.
List to the orchestra of day;
Take in each precept of the play.
But once, our ticket will admit;
BE sure we get the worth of it,
For when we leave, on curtains fall
There's no return check-that is all,
wv. II. {.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

The great hospital c. T. Yerkes pro-
vided for in his will is to be erected
in New York at once. Despite the
sources of his wealth and his confessed
ly immoral life, no charge of "taint''
has been made against his bounty. Is
the Rev. Wash GLADDEN. asleep at the
SwitCh2
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
Arms and the Woman

Mabel-George, do wish you would
join the army.
George-Why. dear, / thought you
confessed that you loved me?
Mabel-I did say so; but if you were
to so into the army perhaps you
might learn what arms are for.
After that she had TO cause to COM
plain.-Pick- Me-Up,
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
Knew the Symptoms

wife-Who was that man who just
called?
Husband--That was one OF our ten
ants who called TO pay his rent.
Wife-You look so gloomy l thought
Il was bill collector.
Husband-I feel gloomy every time |
lose a good tenant. He is going TO
move.
Wife-pld he say so?
Husbandv-No. But he didn't ask for
any repairs News.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

What Mr.. Rogers of Standard Oil
didn't tell Attorney General Hadley of
Missouri Saturday would fill a volume.
Mr.. Hadley should summon the aid of
Tom Lawson and ask a few leading
questions.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

Another example of the harm done by
yellow in both newspapers and books
is afforded by the capture of two boys,
. and Ii years old, as pyromaniacs.
The youngsters learned their tricks
from this sort of Literature"
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
One Woman's Wisdom

But" queried the visitor, "what was
your object in putting Il stove in this
room when 1t is steam-heated?"
"Oh' replied the hostess. 81 did that
so the baby wouldn't catch cold if it
accidentally touches the st m pipes"
Chicago News.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

The closing Of the orange packing
houses in the Highland and Redlands
districts is unusual at this time, but
should cause no fears Of shortage of
supply or damage TO crops. 1t is mere
~ the result Of a cold snap now broken
and to protect buyers against danger
OF inferior shipments.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

TT. II. Rogers testifies that his chief
familiarity with the Standard Oil COM
pany was that sit paid a dividend or
two" And that's all he cares; so long
as the dividends are big and frequent
it is all right.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

The fire board and the civil service
board are now at outs, and the presi-
dent of the latter is busy doing the
tHoughton act with lis resignation.
Can't the city's affairs be conducted
without these continual sQuabbles?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

Leonard Wood, NJ. D., created major
general in the army by fiat of his
friend, the president, will soon be in
full command in the Philippines. Will
ne do as much good there as he did
in Cuba2
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
Different

Daughter-Oh, mamma, I do wish 1
We're pretty.
Mother-You needn't dear; sensible
men think very little about beauty.
Daughter-But 1t isn't sensible men
I'm thinking about, mamma: it's
Charlie.--From Town and Country.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

Pat Grove having been indicted, tried
and acquitted on one charge Omaha
starts trying him on another
one. Omaha recognizes in Pat Grove
her one excuse for note in the world,
and she's going to make the most Of it.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
HlSToRICALS
In Training

Jonah had just been swallowed by
the whale
Now, some men," he unused, would
feel scared and nervous about this.
on me too many times to get worried
about trifles. "-CleVeland Leader.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

When a man starts to build a seven
story block and begins to add other
stories before the structure nears com
pletion, doesn't that speak rather well
for Los Angeles rapidity Of growth?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

Chairman Smith says the fire board
must curtail its expenses. This doesn't
exactly mean that it must have no
more expensive fires, but that would be
a consummation devoutly TO be wished,
nevertheless.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

Arizonans are vigorous in their oppo-
sitlon to Joint statehood with New Mex
leo. Anyone familiar with both does
not wonder that each territory opposes
consolidation with the other. They
have nothing in common and It were a
crime to unite two such dissimilar re-
gions
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

The governor of Ohio will today be
inaugurated in a glass cage. He is a
Democrat and an honest man-such a
rara avis in Ohio that the state is TAX
ing no chances on losing him.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
At Last

Mrs. Blggun---I notice that you have
at last got acquainted with your next
door neighbor, who has lived alongside
of you for the past ten years,
Mrs. D'Avno-Yesi we were intro
duced to each other at Pyramids of
Egypt, and / found her delightful
companion. We became very intimate.
Answers.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

If expected letters are late in arriv-
ing don't blame the postmaster. The
railroads from the east are blocked
with snow for fifty miles and trains are
badly delayed.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

II this citys pure food law is worth
less. as the board OF health claims, then
let new one be passed by all means.
The health of the city should be safe
guarded in every way, and if no laws
provide against this evil it is high time
they were enacted.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
A Serious Case

"There was a serious love affair on
between JinX and the Mink girl VIXEN
was here last"
"Yes. and it ended seriously too"
"You astonish me! 1 was sure they
would get married"
"They did,"-Houston Post.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

"A Portland rabbi declines to accept
the pulpit of the great New York tenn
pie because the trustees insist on die
tating his utterances, That rabbi is
the right sort; some other chocolate
backboned clergy ought to take lessons
from him.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
She Was Il

Mr.. Sophtly-I saw you in the restau-
rant where 1 took lunch today.
Miss Bewtie-Nonsense! / haven't
been in restaurant for weeks.
Mr.. Sophtly-Oh, but you We're there
all right, and they had you on the bill
OF fare in big type-"Peaches and
cream. m."-Philadelphia Ledger.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

Bourke Cochran is now going to cinch
ills hold on his renewed health by vis-
.iting Los Angeles and its vicinity AS
the real, simon-pure, unadulterated
health-making establishment of the
world Los Angeles bids him a hearty
welcome.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
Orange-He's a bird.
Lemon-Yes, a regular jay.

Orange-He'S Dlrd.
Lemon-Yes, a regular jay.
\ Kansas man sent a shirt to the
laundry and received i'm it's stead %
womans nightie. He looked the owner
up, mingled his bushes with hers
while exchanging the garments and
later married her. How's that for
romantic shirt tale?
The inventor of the Waterbury
watch is dead. It took him almost as
long to wind up his career as 1t does
TO wind his great invention.
That new battleship New Jersey, will
1t belong to the mosquito fleet?
\ carload of shingles was sent from
Baltimore to Annapolis last week. That
ought TO stop the haHing habit.
Little Miss Muffet
Sat at the buffet.
Drinking champagne frappe
For the dinner inside her,
The lobster beside her
Had twenty-five dollars to pay.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

Cadet Coffin is to be dismissed, but
Cadet Decatur is acquitted. How much
do the latter's eminent name and pow
erful friends have to do with 1t?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

Often the heart is willing but the
jurse is weak
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

That Monrovia man who wants to
furnish all the canal laborers-give him
trial. He can't do any worse than
the record now stands.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

wouldn't the "Fraternal" Brother
hood, considering it's lack Of fraternity,
as well as brotherhood, better change
both it's names?
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
DOMESTIC TIES
The Advantage

Mrs. Knicker-Then you enjoyed be-
ing seasicll on the yacht?
Mrs. Bocker-Yes: | knew | wouldn't
care il the cook left.-Harper's Bazaar.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
LOVE AND LOVERS
Her Ultimatum

Lord Deddbroke-Your daughter is
charming, madam. Will you present
me to her?
Mrs. Plaintorke-It wouldn't do you
any good. / heard her say that she
wouldn't accept you as a gift.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

Let the Way Freight remember to-
clean the inside Of the platter ere i'll
crusade against the evil exterior
thereto
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
HIS IDEA.

Father-What is the use of me earning
money il you spend il as fast as make
Il?
son-Thats all right, dad I enjoy
spending il as much as you do making it.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
.ord Rothsehild. the world,s

Lord Rothschild. the worlds greatest
fnancler, declares that he is a free
trader with tariff reciprocity treaties
for revenue raising purposes. He de-
nounees protection absolutely. In other
words, in the United States he would
be an excellent Democrat.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
Population of Los Angeles 2OI,249

No, cirrus clouds are not circus clouds
nisspelled, though they do look like a
canvas sky.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
Acquiring knowledge

Dumley-~The lady in the other part
OF the house is learning to play the
piano, her husband Is struggling with
the VIOLIN I have a daughter who is
studying the organ, and boy who is
learning the banjo, and
Chumley--What are you learning?
Dumley--Oh I'm learning to get
used to it.--Black and White.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
OFFICIALS LATE
At ALL MEETINGS
MUNICIPAL LEAGUE MAY MAKE
PROTEST
Police and Fire Commissions Keep
Public Waiting in Crowded
Rooms Until Tardy Mem.
bers Arrive

The police and fire commission may
expect the same sort of Communica-
ton from the Municipal league as was
received by the council a few months
ago, resulting in a more prompt at
tendance at council meetings This Is
a communication asking that the COM
missions either advance their hours of
meeting to time when il will be con-
venient for the commissioners to at
tend or else get down to business on
the scheduled time.
Both the police and fire commissions
are fragrant violators of their hours OF
meeting. They are scheduled to begin
business at $3.50 O'Clock on Tuesday
and saturday mornings, respectively.
1t is seldom that either is ready for
public session until nearly 10 o'clock
and this results in q loss of time to
those VINO are invited to come before
these boards and enter protests against
proposed Improvements.
When applications for poolroom Ii
censes saloon licenses or other business
over which the police commission has
control is to come up for a hearing,
Secretary McKeag sends out notices
to the owners of abutting property that
the case will come up for considera-
tion at $3.50 o'clock Tuesday morning.
Citizens Much Inconvenience
At the meetings of the police COM
mission the commission room is in
variably crowded to a point of stand
ing room only. The commissioners
usually put in an appearance any
where from the scheduled time to 10
O'Clock and before the public session
is held an executive session takes place
in the office of the mayor. Until the
spirit moves the commission to hold
it's public session, those who have been
invited to appear at $3.50 o'clock must
wait, neglecting business and private
affairs, many of them standing up in
uncomfortable attitudes.
The same is true OF the fire commits
sion and to a limited extent of the
park commission, the Tealth board and
in fact every board over which the
mayor presides
The council was as dilatory in its
meetings as the con-;nission until the
Municipal league sent in its little note,
since which time the council has man.
aged to get together somewhere in the
neighborhood Of 10 O'Clock.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
Pi-LineS and Pick-IJpS
Bose and Thorn

It's jest ez well ter see tn shine,
Benin the clouds o. gloom;
An raise tn curtins UP a ways
SO twill git in tn room.
It's better ter defy a woe,
An fight imagined IN,
Then C. give in c ev'ry pain,
f1r cry jes' fit e Kill.
They's lots O. hidden good in life
Each night must hev a morn!
Some fellers never see tn rose,
From howln' bout tn thorn!
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
The Question will Be Settled at 2:3o

Had twenty-five dollars to pay.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08
More Cautious

Hogan (wealthy builder) 49, Phwat
would be a good name f'r tn new flats,
Mike?
would "1he Marguerite do?
Hogan--Not wild my wife I named
tn lasht wan THE Josephine" and l
had t change it in "a hurry or defind an
action f'r divoorce!
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

Rev. ingalls, will preach at North
Scipio at 2:3O next Sunday afternoon.
His subject will be: Hell or No He'll"
-Hicksville (Ohio) News.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

It is declared that the woman exc
cluded so forcefully from the White
House wanted to read an original
poem to the president Even that, how
ever, hardly seems to Justify the Of
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

The recent Fitzsmmons-O O. Brien in
cident may be considered closed as soon
as the location of O'Briens saloon is
announced.
The Kansas City Journal is in receipt
of communication from Indian Terri
tory declaring that Thomas w. Lawson
is all right. This is the first informa-
ton of this kind that has come from
any source other than Lawson.
A baby has been born with two heads
in New York. 1t needs both of 'em
there.
Glasgow puts umbrella stands on the
rear of its street cars. What snap
for those who get off first!
Often the heart is willing but the
purse is weak
\ Missouri paper chronicles the mar
riage of John Sass and Mary Appel.
If she is of the new woman variety
she will write her name Mrs. Mary
Appel
Now that we begin to see how some
of our best known "self-made men" did
it, possibly we will be q bit less ehesty
about them.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

Funny, IL the gas here makes blondes
of our women that so few choruses are
recruited here. But we are long ways
from Pittsburg
Los Angeles herald., 1906-01-08

A baby has been born with two heads
in New York. 1t needs both of 'em
there.
The statesman., 1906-03-02

Drolner.- whose Reenest enjoyment
seemed to be to trap them. She
pleaded with him and scolded him.
but all to no effect. So Ethel took 4
new tack.
When prayer time came the other
evening her mother heard this final
petition added to those which dealt
directly with the spiritual and mate
rial welfare Of the family: An, dear
God. please smash all Willie's nasty
traps. for Jesus's sake, Amen
Ethel, dear" said mother serious.
ly. do you really think that last is
nice thing to ask God TO dog Do you
expect Him to do such thing as
that?"
Ethel smiled beamingly, and an.
swered: "Oh. thatll be all right muz.
zer. Jes before | coined upstairs |
smashed 'em all my own self"-I.ip-
pincotts.
The statesman., 1906-03-02
Brutal Man.

Men say they cannot stand paint.
owder. makeup. or cosmetics OF any
ind. yet they expect their womenkind
have an ever-youthful complexion
and never to look tagged and worn
)ut They relegate to women all the
petty cares of household, and often
leave the wife in the morning in n
omplete chaos OF domestic afilictions.
eiih the sage and stole advice. Not
to worry."-London Woman.
The statesman., 1906-03-02
Royalty sncosnI.o in London.

The police OF Lcndon can boas.
that their town entertains unknowing-
ly more royal folk than any other in
Europe. and without an accident be
falling any OF them. Once upon a
lime a German princess did sprain her
ankle as she came down from the TOP
Of a bus. bu, that is.the -s,,e-s-ee-aofs
casualty that ever befeil q persorage
visiting the town unoficialiy.
The statesman., 1906-03-02
DoN'Ts FOR BACHELORS.
Don't try to be a spring chicken.

Don't try to be a spring chicken.
Don't fancy that all your friends
are wondering why you never married
possibly their wonder would have
been even greater had you married.
Don't be continually talking about
what a great beau you were in your
younger days. That you are still un-
married is sufficient evidence that you
were, at least, an unsuccessful one.
Don't become cranky and notional
and set in your ways. OF course you
are minus your better half. but
make the best OF the half you have.
and you can grow old lovably, even
though you are bachelor.
Don't pose as being superior TO
vomaas charms. You are not II
would be impossible for you to be
superior to the charms of good
woman; but you might be inferior to
them. Better remember this.
Don't set yourself up as an author
ity on the cost of living. though mar
ried. Wait until you have bought
woman's Easter hat. or an opera
dress, or a set of furs, or winter
cloak. The experience will prove TO
be great educator.
Don't become cynical and try TO be
wittily smart at the expense OF others.
especially the married. 1t only adver-
tises your own discomfort and envv.
The statesman., 1906-03-02
6ritain's Oldest CRce.

The oldest Office under the crown Is
that of lord high steward. which vas
in existence before the time of Edward
the Confessor; indeed. some authori
ties say that II was instituted by ora
In 157. For long period this ofiicia
was second only to the king. and the
Office was for some time hereditary in
certain noble families.