Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-04-15
ANSWERS TO
CORRESPONDENTS

UVNNEOTVNUENlO
OF proper nature submitted to The star In
9uisers should write oil side Of the paper oaIy
once. In Of dincuit eonundrums answers may
ue oelsyea Tor week or two. Consequently IL
column carcfnlly.l
x Y. lis Cannon considered political
big gum A.-Twenty-three, please This
isn't the ordnance department.
TALENTED want TO write a topical
song about the recent Post Office appoints
ment. Any suggestions? A.-Sure. That
what we are here for .-She was Bred IN
Old Kentucky" has a good swing to IT,
Why not use that air. with something ike
this:
He was bred In Nova Scotia.
Where the noses all are blue
And the frost of all that country's I'm
His face and manner too"
With that start you ought to turn out a
popular hit. No charge.
BOuRKE COCHRAN. - What did you
think of my speech in the House last
Thursday on the railroad rate blll7 A.
was that what II was about, old char?
We're tickled to death to know. 1t has
been worrying some.
FRANCESCA DE RIMINI-I want to go
on the stage What shall do? Aust
add hot water and serve" II that Joke per
COATES through your understanding come
around. There'll be some hope for You as
a low comedian.
CHRoNIC.-Dear Uncle Jasper, do you
consider that crabs and ice cream do go
well together? A-They go all right. but
they won't stay put. Incompatfbility OF
temperament, We opne
MOTHER.-Little Johnny said damn.
the other day. What shall do. Dam
Johnnys language He'll spring a few adj
1ectives and adverbs if you don't
LITTLE DORRIT.-Do rabbits Law eggs
ehcie Jasper? Alphabetically. dearie. As
Aristotle remarked, 'Punkus jesticuium
eggroiling." Teacher win translate this for
you.
c. b. CT understand that James X.
racket has decided to retire from the
stage. Is this true? A.-You are wrong
Representative Morrell has decided TO re-
tire from the House. Another lie nailed
HON. GROVER CT wish to announce
over your signature. Uncle Jasper, that as
William Jennings Bryan is now known as a
conservative democrat, / am eudeavoring
10 determine TO what wing of the party L
belong. l Will make a formal announce
ment later A.-The above is submitted
without comment No flowers.
d. C.-Last Friday morning while in front
or the city post Office | saw three ladies'
fall down the front steps five men jump
from the seeond-story window and crowd
or citizens rush from the east north and
west doors What was the trouble? A
No trouble at all. Merely a rumor that b.
f. Barnes of Nova Scotia and New Jersey
had just taken charge.
ELIZABETH-What is chorus girls
path and how can l take one? A-Powder
the face and sprinkle violet extract up
and down your straight front. Simple thing,
amt it, Liz?
MAUDE-The inquiries OF your intended
with reference to osculatory exercises lead
us to believe that he Is sparring for a
lead. Let him feint. and when he drops
his guard counter on the jaw Incidentally,
Maudie cut out the high-plane CONVERSE
ton kiss by any other name tastes
just as good.
THE COMMON PEoPLE.-what is the
price of oil this week, Unefe Jasper? A
Coal, whale, olive. castor. inseed or snakeg
Your uncle is not clairyoyant- Come
again.
DIETARY-Is there anything more HARM
fui to the digestion than half dozen hard
boiled eggs? Airy a dozen and then
let US hear from you. Oh. slushl
FAN.-Did the President seem to enjoy
the base ball game yesterday? A-Not q
bit. Somebody else was welding the big
stick. Moral: Morrisorium avant arnesisa-
Gus.
PROSPECTIVE.-Wha is home rule? A.
You can't prove 1t by US We never had
1t here. Try Nova Scotia or New Jersey.
1NTERESTED.-What is the difference
between the man with the muck rake and
the man with the whitewash brush2 A
How simple you are. One uses a brush and
the other rake Otherwise there amt no
difference.
BROKE.-Dear Uncle Jasper please tell
me how to win money on the races. Ain
view of the fact that the horse we bet on
last Thursday is still running We feel that
modesty forbids our trifing with this SUBJ
ject. Wait till we use some more feed-box
Information. UNCLE JASPER.