Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-03-03


mystery. even II does make me fee, as If
| were exgoundirg the inscrutabili,y of the
or tooter. the folks on the streets wouldn't
know the motor car was coming.
Deep. isn't 1T Hard TO understand.
heyr You see, when a carriage or q laun-
dry wagon or a dirt or coal cart Is APP
preaching the horse or horses make q ciat-
tering on the pavement with their fetch.
this Is the profound stun I'm handing out.
all Highland the vehicle creaks and other
wise announces its contiguity, propenquity
and approaching juxtaposition. so to speak.
But the motor car runs on rubber tires,
and some automobiles make no noise what
ever that can be heard above the ordinary
| hum OF the street and the din OF traffic.
Consequently, automobiles are fitted with
tooters or bells wherewith the driver may
warn folks passing In front OF them. Now
| feel as IL I've relieved what I please TO
call my mind of a great-a ponderous--
weight. That's the real answer toe Ana
yet about four out OF five folks on the
street, when they are crossing directly in
front of the path OF motor car will wheel
and glare most ferociously. with awful and
appalling vindictiveness at the driver when
they hear the warning toot of the horn or
clang of the bell.
ITO see 'em. you q think the driver OF tia
motor car had hurled passe egg or a tired
vegetable at them with all his might Not
only that. but many of them, as soon "a
| they hear the toot or the ring. deliberately
| siacken up their speed and cross the motor
cars path with the greatest Imaginable
| leisure. just TO show the driver that they
don't care about any old automobile: that
| theyre free and Independent citizens; that
| they're going to walk the streets at their
own pace just as often and az long they
want to: that they don't think much or
| these automobile imbeciles. nohow; that
| the streets were made first for pedestrians.
and for puny-wuffy motor car idiots last
| of all, and SO on and so on.
I'm those ancient days when the STREETS
L WASHINGTON cd vii NJ
cycles nobody ever appeared TO resent the
| tinkle of the bike bell that foretold the
approach of the machine. They took that
warning signal as a matter OF course, and
stepped out of the way. Why, then
should they buck about the tooter or horn
or the motor car? Doesn't their attitude I'm
me latter respect most clearly prove that
the real nub of their crouch is their resent
ment against the folks who sufficiently
prosperous to be possessed OF automobiles?
Ii II doesn't. show me. that's all
Concerning Speed Laws.
Now l haven't got the speed bug |
don't want TO race or to go even fast In
my machine. I'm perfectly satisfied to obey
| the speed laws. There wouldn't be the slight
\ est fun or satisfaction for me in chasing
| around soaring folks to death and provok-
| ing their hatred or perhaps their violence
| But 1 want to say. all the same that the
| speed law gag. not only with reference
TO motor cars. but with reference 70
such highly necessary public vehicles as
street cars. seems TO be carried TO an ex-
| treme here. The street cars simply crawl
| mere In Washington IN comparison with
| the rate at which they travel in most first
| rate or even seeond-rate cities I'm the Unit
ed States. L don't exaggerate in the least
Inc electric cars In the other cities slack
| en- up IN the congested districts But
| when they get into the uncrowded streets
/ where there Is q minimum of danger they
| MT IL up at a good, get-there pace; they
/ get over the territory, and Won feel "a ar
| you're bound for your destination. In
| little old Washington the street cars are
required to go at the same snairs pace
In the uncuttered districts just as well as
| IN the downtown sections
| "A relative of mine from Detroit a civ or
| ABOUT the same population as Washington
| made me feel foolish when took a number
OF street car rides with him here on a
| VISIT he made In Washington a while ago.
| l had been in Detroit only short time
| before and had Travelled on the splendid
| high-speed. air-brake-fitted cars of Detroit
ano me contrast between the caterpillar
| pace on our cars and the cars OF Detroit
was TOO obvious. not to say glaring, to
| permit OF my making any defense
But I'm humble owner OF a buzz was-
| on, not street car director. The time ma v
come when folks who don't own automo-
hiles VIII look upon the people who do. moi
as outlaws desperadoes. pariahs. lepers,
4
| Hght. not to mention a ghoulsh glee IL
| manning and Gripping, but as a human be.
| ing: In hoping that that time will arrivs
Whie m sun alive. so that can enjoy a
DIT or the benign period myself.
The First Umbrella Bearer.
| There are certain historical precedents
| for supposing that the seemingly deep-seat-
ed crouch against the buzz-wagon win sub
| side with the passage OF time The first
| man who appeared with an umbrella~-th,s
| happened on the streets Of London-was. L
| have been told, hooted and Jeered and
| stoned by the popuace. He had to be taken
| to that inviting institution, Newgate for
his own personal safety. and 1 understand
that his umbrella came perilously close TO
landing him in a iunatic asylum. The first
| man to appear with top or plug hat-thIs
| also In London, in the eighteenth century,
| got the same treatment at the hands of the
| vast mob that quickly surrounded him and
| he had to invoke the aid of the constabu-
| larry to get out OF the hands of his torturers
When the first railroad tracks were being
| laid In Engiand-in the third decade of the
nineteenth century IL / remember correct
| ly-there were all kinds of riots and violent
| doings. because the folks regarded the loco
| motives as contrivances of the devil and
| they didn't like the prospective doing away
| with the stage coach routes
why, TO fetch Il down to our own time
can remember how the fellows who first
! rode on those tall old-fashIoned BICYCLES
| thirty years or so ago, got the general boot
| and jeer. They were looked upon as reck-
! less lunatics, and even the boys on tho
| streets used to chuck rocks and pieces of
wooden paving blocks at 'em.
But the motor car isn't really any new
| thing any more, and that's why I'm becona-
| ing bit wistful in my hope that the peo-
| pie who don't own them will ever make up
their minds that automobiles are really
human beings. The grand remedy would
be to provide everybody with an automobile
That would fix 1t all right. The crouch
would evaporate and everybody would be
happy. II / were Croesus Ia set the fac.
tories a-working and turn out an automobile
for every adult individual in Washington
at or above the legal age OF twenty-one,
and, when they all had 'em, you'd quickly
see how soon their rancor would disap-
pear. g. l. c.
Adultegated Liquors in England.
Vice Consul Sulis of Liverpool reports that