The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1906-01-29
AN ILLUSION


Asa youth1.was- difhdent,overseHsi-
tive, Imaginative, romantic. -My-moth-
er was very much troubled. for fear 1
would marry some girl with nothing to
recommend her put a pretty face. I
used to think that she wished me to
marry Margaret Deane, who knew how
to sew and cook and do a lot of praeti-
cal things in which took no interest.
I rather admired Gwendolin Gernain-
Gwendolin was tender flower, just
such a girl as a man likes to take I'M
der his protection. Her cheek was not
round and rosy, but there was a little
pale red in it's center like a rosebud
painted on a china cup, with lips. of the
same hue.
The time came when l made up my
mind that unless l could win Gwendo-
lin my life would be a failure. / was
but twenty. and that's very young for
a man to feel that his happiness is
bound up for life in one person. How
ever, | proved my constancy by years
of devotion to the image 1 had set up
in my heart Fearing that | could not
express myself with sufficient delicacy
to impress one so young, so modest, so
| tender, | wrote my proposal in a letter.
| was severa days composing it, and
when finished | left it for another day
on my desk in order to read it once
more before posting it.
1 was suddenly called away, and
when | returned the letter was gone.
l asked my mother what had become
of it. and she said hat it had been
posted with a batch of letters that had
been sent to the mail while l was
away from home. With this / was
content and confident that GwendoIin
had received it and waited a~nxiously
for a reply.
When / met my love again l was
made her seem to me cold. even of
Tended, and as she made no reference
to my letter it occurred to me that for
some reason-I imagined a dozen-she
was dispIeased with my proposal. 1 re-
manned with her but a few moments
vainly ~endeEvoring to converse on tri-
fies, then left her.
did not call again, and within a year
her family left the place where l lived.
and she went with them. My heart
went with her. 1 lived on a bachelor.
My mother frequently invited Mar
oti>1 al " III JUS any L III
see that she was Intentionally placing
her in my way. Margaret accepted
whatever attention l gave her, which
vas not much, but when was IN
mindful of her she did not seem to
notice it. as the year passed l made
a friend of her, but it did not occur to
me to make love to her.
When L was thirty my mother died.
pofOro ho,, jo,+h el,o ,o,J@=
feSSiOn.
MY dearest boy" she said. "before
I die | wish your forgiveness. Ten
years ago i saw that you were about
to choose a companion for life Who
would not make you happy. 1 kept the
letter you wrote to Gwendolin Ger
main. hoping to gain time to direct
your attention to Margaret Deane. Ten
years have passed, and every year i
nave intended to SEND your letter to
Gwendolin. | have never lone so till
today. By tomorrow morning she will
now for the first G1sa of your pro
posal. but by that time l shall have
left you free to choose for Yourself"
And so my mother. to whom l was
SO devoted, had caused me ten years OF
misery. l forgaye her and did not
oIlCt d W Olu vi NOIlDldlIl. llitSSi liz
pain l suffered at her loss neutralized
any feeling Of regret for my long suf
fering-
The day after l laid her in the grave
I took up a number of letters that had
accumulated-mostly of coincidence
and among them was one from Gwen
dolin. 1t brought the first of different
sensations from what l had experienced
~ +Ia Ioc;,,,irr Of NV ,r,A+hop'S
illness. But with it came the remem-
brance of wnat my mother must have
endured from her distaste for my
choice. Margaret had beer with her
constantly in her last days and had
comforted her as if she had beer her
own daughter
1 felt an inclination to complete the
sacrifice my mother had brought about
by acceding to her wishes and giving
Margaret the option of being my wife.
But l was bound i'll honor to Gwendo-
lin as well as by love. In her letter she
asked me to come and see her if l felt
SO inclined, since she would talk to me
rather han write.
A few days later l went to see her.
She still lived with her family, who
were wealthy-more so than when
had parted from her-in a stately man
sion. 1t was evening when | called.
and | was ushered into a private par
Tor. In Il few minutes a bony. sallow,
scrawny woman came into the room,
dressed IN the height of fashion. be-
decked with jewels. her hands covered
with rings. | barely recognized Gwen
dolin n would not have done 50 had
she not preserved the rosebud in her
cheek by a touch Of paint
so your poo mother has gone" she
Said "What a silly thing to keep your
letter from mel JUST as if 1 were
counting on you. You were lovely as a