New-York tribune., 1906-06-14
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

THE TAIk OF THE DAI.
A brakeman on the Colorado Midland Railway
two wears ago lost the index finger OF his right
hand Recently a woman passenger. mucn interest
ed In the natural beauties the brakeman pon'eu
ont to her noticed the stub OF the hnger Wheh
the conductor through the car she SAID 10
him: Excuse me, sir but can you tel me no" tAe
brakeman lost his forefnger? He seems 10 Dc such
an accommodating fellow" ''Yes. mum: that's Just
n He ia 90 accommodating that he wore that fin
ger off pointing out the scenery along the line.
said the conductor.
THE MARCH OF PROGRESS
The human race. with toll and pain
And pride. accoInplishes a. lotL,
Exactly whatf
We do undoubtedly. progress
,Tis marvellous ESgs. cHe ne saaass eans DENY
WHITTIER? Or why7
We learn new tricks from day to day:
OF course the theory Is correct
In what respect?
We were no doubt sight TO grieve
The gods: no doubt we we're rem nicer ,g-neya noWa
Precisely how7 1,e,
The Soane Museum In England contains cork
model OF the Colosseum. This was probably ac-
quired by Sir John Soaue chiefly because CORK Is
difficult to cut. Mr.. Couston tells in THE Burns-
ton" a story connected with it. The late keeper
Mr. Birch. was showing party Of American visit
ors over the museum, and mentioned that thls
was made In cork" THAT is curious. said one OF
the ladies' I'VE are Just going to visit some friends
there .I mean madam" he explained, that this
model was made out Of cork" THAT is still more
curious she replied "our friends live just little
way out of Cork.
NON-SUITED.
1.-THE Gentlewoman'' discovered the reason why
don't dance It is to be found In the IasT .na b
the male community has with some exceptions almost
ceased to reach the middle size. j
You marvel, Anastasia mine.
When waltz, schottische, quadrile or laneers
Allure motions Serpentine.
Why I'm not found among the cancers
whene'er I watch your airy tread.
And see the dance begun and finished.
(NOte well the adjective dimlnishedo.
For therein lies the reason why
A -pygmy overshadowed by
Your Amazonian dimensions!
Were the height of other men,
RI saea Esay You're TeaS 6Sh Efh y y9T ve e e
1 must deny myself the pleasure.
So farewell to the ballroom sweet
This fact my resolution clinches:
London Tribune
An aged Scotsman who giving his impress
sions OF earthquake to a stranger said that it
seemed to have been an experience TO find the
"
grand! Ye ken. I've been marrit mony a year
and. weel that's the only thing that has happened
in our hoose that the guidwife ddna blame me for
daen'."
Painting the IAly.-we have now a charming as
sortne@nt @ OF the latest costumes. blouses. mll
of Australian smartness added.-Melbourne Argus.
Here is essay of small schoolgirl on the sub
1ect of IF Were Grown Up: IF were grown
up should get married and have jam whenever I
like. And think shall be dressmaker. When
I am married L am not going out washing clothes
like some people. shall have baby. and shall
not let anybody smack 1t unless it's naughty If
1t wants smacking, shall smack II. I shall have
little boy. If have place where there IS a
strict lady shall leave. I want plenty of money
from my husband. That's all I have got to say
about when 1 grown up"
essay Hawthorne. The young woman said. "a ?
the age Of thrty7nine HaWthorne married. and took
mencement 3e one of the VILLAGE madens called on
Should say such thing in her essay % '"Te o Maaa Wba
do you refer?" why she said. at the age of thirtv
old mans Why didn't she say to his fatberl TO 5ne
law's7"-Christian Register. ~"
The Paris police have gathered in an accident
society whose members made living by getting
hurt. The accident always occurred In a quiet
spot in the suburbs of Paris One of the band rid
ing a bicycle would manage to get knocked down
and run over by cart The rest of the members
were witnesses OF the accident" and unanimously
agreed that it entirely the fault of the driver
An action for damages followed. and the insurance
company had to pay the injured the amount
of the policy he held But suspicion excited by
the fact that it was always the same people who
appeared as witnesses victims, and in the end
the ways OF the confederation discovered.
During the eighteen months existence the
voluntary Accident Society 1t had made Sc Co.,
and a lot more money in sight
THE woMAN'S SUFFRAGIST
Her views OF men and things note
l hope don't misquote her.
Although they somehow seem remote
Her views OF men and things note:
And though she'd like to have vote.
She'd rather have yoterl
Her views of mon and things I note.-
/ hope don't misquote her
Puck.