Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-05-05
AGENT THREW A BLUFF

The shabby. fringey, sort of down-and-
out-Iooking man with the package under
his arm entered the office of the busy real
estate man in a hesitating kind OF way
Clearing his throat so as to attract the at
tention of the hustling man at the desk.
he began:
Sir, / have here
''Y'ave hey?" broke in the real estate
man, without so much as looking up from
his desk-he'd seen the shabby man out OF
the corner of his eye when the latter en-
tered the office. well. I'm not buying any
Complete History of the San Francisco
Fire and Earthquake today. Wouidnt
have time to cut the pages If I bought it.
Too busy. 1 don't
But" humbly cut in the shabby man.
this, sir, is"
.Oh, it's The Lotus Land of Hawaii in
eighty numbers. four bits number. Is IT.,
interrupted the real estate man Wen,
don't want that. either. My wife can Duy
all of that kind of junk that l can dig up
to pay for. at the fiat. couldn't USE
But sir YOU are quite mistaken. have
here
.'Oh. now I've got it," broke in the real
estate man again. IT'S Celebrated Batlies
of History illustrated by noted artists
But, nix My lbbrary's all Uttered up Win
celebrated battles already. Nope, ana
don't want any continuous-perio,n 0iico
series of Studies from the Nude. py en-
inent French painter persons. may lock
as if l wanted that, but l don't. Nor can
you sell me any series of 'Etchings IN Hoi-
land'-two-armed windmills and stagnant-
looking streams never did make Ihuch "a :"
hit with me. / don't see
Sir. you are in serious error, and II you
will be good enough to give me just mo
ment Of your time l will show ~,
oh it's q patent trouser stretcher. is II I
Nix. Can't see my way to buying that
either like baggy-kneed trousers. wear
EN- Just to be odd. Any idiot can wear
creases in his trousers. but 1t takes man
of nerve and individuality to wear EN-
baggy Not trousers stretchers. either, en- !!
Then it must be a preparation TO remove
warts, moles, etc. Never had a "art OF
mole in my life. Anyhow. m heap Dasy.
Not a wart remover? Well, you couldn
club me into buying an adjustable lamp
chimney cleaner nor a patent improved egg.
beaten Neither one of those, you say I!
Then what in the
II was going to say" remarked the
shabby man, pulling large, fat-looking
wallet out of his breast pocket, before you
betrayed a seemingly uncomfortable mcli-
nation to work in all the cheap book agent
and other agent wtticisms out of the comic
supplement that as l was passing down
the hall a minute or so ago l found, lying
close to your Office door. this wallet which
contains a matter of 1854 in currency and
number Of pay-to-bearer checks for consid-
cradle amounts. 1 intended to hand this
property over to you. but l am now sure
that it doesn't belong to YOU and, more
over. you're a whole lot too gay to be in
trusted with so much sure-enough wealth.
1 won't apologize for taking up your time.
for the shoe Is on the other foot-your in
opportune funniness has really consumed
more of my time than / can afford to
waste" and the shabby man was out Of the
real estate mans office in three dignified
strides.
II couldn't have sold that geezer any
goods, anyhow" unused the shabby man,
a he walked down the street switching the
patent lawn mower sharpener that he car
ried to the other hand, and it does me a
heap o good to put on the Sandow vest my
self occasionally. especially when l run
into would-be fly guys like that one. I don't
often get a chance to become chesty, and
1t sure does me good"