Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1906-03-01

- HESE are the solemn words OF
warning of Bill Bowden, A. b.,
TO those contemplating a voyage
upon the sea of matrimony. All
such should give them earnest
thought. Upon such subjects Mr. Bow
den speaks as one having authority.
Those familiar with his autobiogra-
ply, and any one who will demon
strate the possession of a hospitable
nature by the purchase of liquid re-
freshmen may become so, know that
he has been married more frequently
than any other person In history,
with the possible exception of King
Solomon.
Ii will be discouraging. doubtless,
to those Of sentimental or romantic
nature to discover decidedly cynical
flavor In Mr.. Bowdens remarks. They
should bear in mind, however, tina.
the words were uttered shortly after
his latest venture in the matrimonial
line, wherein he espoused lady Of
Irish extraction, who came down from
Fairyland every day to polish the
dishes in Billy McCarthy's sailors
boarding house, and which, unfortu-
nately, proved a failure,
It was, indeed, upon Mr.. Bowdens
first visit to the Bell Buoy saloon after
his wedding that this warning was
given. He had been absent for a peri
cd of at least fortnight. His alb
sence caused many gloomy rumors to
circulate among the marines who fore
gathered there Some held that he
had been shanghaied, others darkly
limited at assassination; those of a
naturally hopeful disposition insinuat-
ed contemplated privacy All doubts
were dispelled, however, by Mr.. Bow
den suddenly appearing, though he
was greeted with no welcoming cheer.
All of his features were brilliant red
naturally only one of them wore that
finland his labored and audible
method of breathing betokened that
he was laboring under a great mental
strain, and at such times II was al
ways customary, for reasons of per
sonal comfort. to permit him to take
the initiative in conversation himself
Upon this occasion he set full sail
for the bar, and then, turning TO the
awe struck tars, invited them fire.
quently vociferously to damn his eyes
SO vociferous at length did his invita-
ton become as to awaken the bo'sun
of the Marcus Hyde from well
earned slumber in his apartment be-
meath the pool table. who at once re,
sponded with so much heartiness and
enthusiasm as to shock Mr.. Bowden
back to his accustomed coherency.
Bills Story.
"Wimmen is the same all round the
world an over an above, SO to speak, -
he said They is all pecoolure, some
not so at all, wich is the most pecool-
ure thing o. all. | know considerable
regardin' o. EN-. havin' been married
quite good deal for a single man,
an | know, so to speak, wot | are
a-sayin'. No man had ought TO get
married at all, but II he are goin' 10
do so he ought TO think IL over cam
an peaceful fust. an if he do so
ne WoH get ndIileu no matter Wot
his intentions was. 'ceptin' he gets
crazy. wich happens to the best o. us
when they is wimmen in the ofing
Wimmin allus want n man TO do
wot they don't want him TO do an ii
he do Il, often as not they marrier
him afore he knows wot are a-happen.
ing. All o. 'em wants to get married
until they Is, an then they want 10
get unmarried wuss than they wanted
to become so, so TO speak. Any man
wot gets tangled mp in a courtin'
match are a.temptin Providence very
severe like. OF course, IL the pore
onfortoonit Teller are one OF the strick'
EN- parties. so to speak, the chances