Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1906-09-29
He TAUGHT HER
10 PADDLE

himse3 On the cold, hard brown stone
steps Of the boarding house, satur-
day evening. Il haven't been arguing
with ~ interurban car nor starting
the furnace for the iandlady." he
growle5 in response to the anxious
inquiries Of the assembled boarders.
But You look it, insisted Miss
Spent. handing him some candy and
sweet smile
I've been spending my halfholi.
day teaching girl to paddle a
canoe" he confessed, and then sat
back to watch the girls look jealous,
and the other men sympathetic.
Next time a girl tells me she is
simply dying to learn to paddle I'm
going to pay all the funeral expenses,
but I'll never let another in my canoe
If | die bachelor" he continued "A
canoe is the one spot on earth where
1t is good for man to be alone.
THE girl | was with to-day had a
lump of red.gold hair, and a nifty
bunch of white ruffles around her hat
that made every girl on the horizon
look as worn-out as a Canadian on
May 25 The other men on the boat
kept sizing her up until felt so lucky
at having made hit that | was as
important as sporting editor at a
ball game
But / knew what | was up against
the minute we pushed away from the
canoe shelter. She was trying to live
up to the daintiness of her attire, and
she took up the paddle as though it
were teaspoon at pink tea. In less
than three minutes had mentally re-
peated the prayers for the dying, re-
signed myself to the inevitable. and
rejoiced In the fact that / hadn't paid
my board bill yet
"In spite of my coaching, we kept
going around in a circle, until | felt as
though / had been living in the. Elec-
trio park swing for year, and when
we finally got Strengthened out for
minute, we hit the bank with a thump
that might have started another
quake in Frisco.
ut bumped so fafd that several
cushions-some of those / paid for
by many theater tickets and boxes of
candy-went into the water, and then
she got mad because when | fished
EN- out / insisted on slowing the
wet, bedraggled things in the boat.
my skirts will be a sight, she
walled, and in trying to tuck them
around her ankles ran the paddle
fn oh ell 1a& 10
tore a lot of the lace before we got
untangled. When she went at it
again she grabbed the paddle as
though she were going to WELD it like
a broom.
but we got more water later on in
the game. She tried to force pass
age through stone bridge, and
scraped my arms steadylng the craft
by hanging on to everything in reach.
Il tried to use diplomacy and get
her TO change seats with me, but
well, say, did a man ever get a girl
to do what was reasonable? During
the argument we drifted right into
the worst disaster of all. 1t happened
to be another canoe which we never
noticed until it was right upon us, and
then the girl in my boat shrieked and
stuck her paddle into the water send
ing us precisely the way she did not
intend. to. | was just wondering If
we would walk or swim back, when
the other boat Swung around, and
its deft guider got out of harms way
in a wink.
"Say, you should have seen those
women glare. The girl with ME was
so angry and excited that her pompa-
dour was drizzling all about her face.
Her sleeve was torn, her hat at a
slant, and her finery rather the worse
for the water she scooped in with
every stroke.
"The lady in the opposite canoe
had pompadour, but it was as slick
as politician, and her shirtwaist had
something around the neck that
looked cool and simple. Her arms
were bare and / didn't notice any
ruffles or rings or bracelets She Just
grinned cheerfully at my girl and
said:
"'Oh, you'll learn after WHILE
and fioated past.
Il guess my girl would have gone
to the bottom rather than give up
the paddle after that. We Jared the
foundations of two bridges until
thought the canoe would split from
one end to another She spattered
me, the cushions and herself very
impartially and then she called me a
brute for sitting still and not swear
ing.
IF she had made any progress by
the time we got back to the boat
house Il couldn't notice 1t, and l was
more occupied in estimating the dam.
age than in soothing her vanity when
we landed.
81 really think we should have
parted without row, though, If the
/ trim-looking expert had not passed us
/ on the way out.
( "She glanced at my companion's
dampened skirts, torn waist and fiat