Los Angeles herald., 1906-11-25

cheap. he come out to see it for hlsself, an was
reg'lar angry
"a large, stout man he was with rich, brown
hair an lovely brown beard, an he stares at
1t fierce an says, Go away he says, an be
ashamed of yerself. You've no right to come
Dadgerin respectable people TO buy such things
it's scandalous!' he says. IF we don't put our
loot down, we shall have some Of yer nawkin'
cheap corfins' he says an so he works hsself
up indignant, an says it's outrage on public
decency, an why didn't / do some honest labor
instead of MAXIM meself a nuisance an insultin'
HIM an his neighbors, an woundin' their feelin's
with tombstone, an didn't seem if he ever
meant to stop an let me get word in; so /
sort of sneaked off with me tail between me legs,
an left him in the middle of it.
Give me the fair, bloomin' lump, il did
Why, what else could / have done with harf the
top of washstand? Couldn't chip it down into
marble clocks, could /? Well, there you are
then; an that's how they encourages self-help
tombstone was the on'y thing you could make
that fragment into, an ] done it; yet he can't
think of nothin but it was bad taste, an | orter
be ashamed of meself, an he was good mind
to put the pleece on to me. If I'd cut a Venus
out of it, anythin' dsgustin' artistic like that
then he might have had somethn' to grumble
about; but if tombstone amt moral enough for
him, what is it he wants?
"I was nervous about calm anywhere else
Il
another trial an started on the door-to-door trick
agen when | safe round the corner, an at
one o. the houses there ] struck a bit O fust-
clarss eighteencar luck.
81 was arstin' the gell at the door to go in
an tell the missus I'd got somethin' special to
show her which she might like to see, when the
gent comes home from the city, an, shakin' his
head at me the steps, says, Go away he
says we don't want no boot-laces here, he says
we've all got button boots in this house an
| shan't never wear no Others
''In larfn' sort o. way he chucks me cop
per an was wavin' me OFF, when suddenly he
stops short an arsts, What's that under yer
ARM he says. 'Pctures%
No, SIR / says, doubtful whether I'd risk
! showin' him; it amt anythin' you'd care for,
don't think, Mister. 1t amt exactly what you
might consider proper an it's liable to give Of
fense.'
on! says he, more an more curious. 7
amt one O. them molly-coddlers. 1t won't Of
fend me. Open it out, man; you never know
l might like to b, ! it,
"I shouldn't wish to hurt yer feelnss, Guv-
nor,' I hestates a bit You'll excuse me- but
you don't happen to have lorst infant child, 1
suppose, sirY -,
you got there is it? Must ha been run over
by a motor-car or a steam roller, if it ISL
$50 with him tryin' to be funny, / undid the
brown paper, an let him have look at it.
fFust he seems disappointed, as If he'd ex-
pected somethin' quite different. Then he bright
ems up, an | never seen.a man so ticlSled in all
me life, didn't He left orr shakn' his head
an grinning quiet, starts chucklin' loud slaps
his leg excited, goes chuckln' fit to bust his
self, an keeps on sayin' thoughtful, The very
thing! Blowed if I won't do it! What lark!'
Then he says to me, Now, what's the lowest
price of it, eh? Don't you put it on too thick,
an don't mind havin' 1t just to encourage hon
est industry an I might be able to use It as
luggage-label,' he says or tabe-mat.'
"'It's lovely piece of solid marble, SIR
tells him, AM the tombstone is done in the best
style, an you'd never feel ashamed of it. It's
worth fifty dollars of any gents money, but to be
on the safe side suppose we put it at temp
''He thought five would be safer, SO l let il
go at that.