The Montgomery advertiser., 1906-12-16
ON T HE
 /. A ACTIVITIES
nz 2. ?. Dsnae.

Copyright 1906. by H. H Mcclure &
 Col
 w Y HATS tn prisiaint ,loin' these N| daysr' asked Mir Honnessy.
 WV ssNot much" said MT. Doo-
 Icy. He's not ioin' uch. Ye seldom hear iv him. Whether lis old age creepin' on--hes must Ee all iy twinty-four. but thi responsibilities iv tn office don't know, but he's kind iv uuited down Now. ye take lest week With tn exception iv' bouncin' few fndfspinsable Cabinet officers, invintin' q battieship. writin' an article on tn spoorts iv tn ancient Greeks, Iecturin' tn Presbyteeryan Church on infart damnati0n. refereein poker bet be- tween wan iv his old companyons in ar-rms an tn estate iv another, des- oribin' tn delights iv. ocean thravel to tn navy, passin' out a bunch iv lagal tips to tn Supreem Coort, divisin q tackles back play fr football, an sfnd- in recipe fir preparin' pie lant fir in table to tn Ladies' Cookin' Club iv Omaha ys might hardly done amy thing last week.
 Maybe tn poor man Is sick" said Mfr Hennessy.
 'pivvle tn bit He's not tn kind that gets sick an tn Prisidincv iS wan iv' tn heslthiest jobs in tn wurruid. No wan was iver ilicted to 1t that was
 
 go Ia sthrong an they stay sthrorg. All tn Prisidint has to do is to keep Fairbanks out iv the wItehin iv tn White House No. Tiddy ain't sick. He's like fnesiif He's settled down to a broad an comprehensive view iv life. dye mind He takes no action onless 'tis demanded be tn needs W .h' whole people. Now, there's spellin reform. No Prisidint befure him iver tackled that, Andrew Jackson might have done 1t, but he wud've been accused iv selfish motives. That gr-reat man spelled like a broken typewriter
 "Td always thought that if I iver was flicted Prisidint-an' I might've been If I'd stuck in pollyticks an been more prudent about where I was s'bor-rn Lth' first thing I wud do wud be to make bad spellin' more respictable. 'Twud be me ambition to take tn poor est speIler in this broad land iv ours an lift him up to a place where he cud look In tn eye tn most powerful spell CT fin tn Univarsity iv Injyanny. Akel opportunities to spell amy way ye likefs me motto. Specyal privileges to none. Too long have we been op pressed be these that know more thin we do. IT. great liberty-lovin' ign'rant masses shave been spell down into tn very earth be bloateG monnopolists iv speilin' like Dock Eliot iv Harvard. I've seen it estimated that 90 per cent. iv ell tn correctly spelled wurruds in th' Emitted States was ownded be three hundherd men. Thaydoor Rosenkelt proposed to shtrike off tn shackles firm th' hands iv tn sufferin' illiterate an make him tn peer iv amy man. He demanded th' free coinage iv wur- ruds He freed 8 gr-reat people. Ye needn't sind Packy to school amy more. He's 1arned enough whin he's hasthered tn alphabet All he has to do to make wurrud now that will be officially correct is to throw a lot fvl letters into his hat an shake thim outs
 'sBut I don't want to give all tn credit fr tn measure that has made us tn akels iv tn most uninlightened na~ lions in tn wurruld to me frind Tiddy. Twas Andhrew Carnaygie that put 1t up to him. There's a man ye'd think ought to Injye life He has ivrything that ought to make a man happy, He has money, he has fame he has Andh- rev Capnaygie an he's a little deef But he isn't happy, Or he wasn't with all hs gr-reat wealth this man who had turned out millions iv gran books steel rails an American wurruk- in men wa sad. Whin he cud stand his grief no longefihe wint to tn PEisi- dint about 1t. Aavs Tiddy: Taft is listenin',' he says. 1 sSscuse me- says Andrew, T thought |
 Sas at home. If ye had beard an |
 more regal on tn waistline ye'd |
 like him. Ye,er Excellency, am