Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1906-08-17
Humorous

She-How is 1t that widows gener-
ally manage to marry again? He-Be-
cause dead men tell ne tales.-Aly
Sloper.
Sparticus-Dses that fountain-peA OF
yours leak that way all the timer
snartcus-No, emily whes / have Ink
In it.-Baltimsre American.
II see ysu advertise plane covers"
said the nan with a squiint- Eyes, we
have all kinds" said the clerk. Let
ne lock at ssRe that are Theoretically
sealed, tkex."-Yonkers Statesman.
I've met several ether people from
ysur city," said the Bsstenian, "and
every one of them said: Where is 1t
at'?" where is what at?" demanded
the New Yorker.-Ksnsas City INDIE
pendent.
Slidey Slats-Please, mum, but we're
couple Nv shipwrecked ssilors--
Lady-What! You never was near the
water. slidey Substantially right,
mum, puffickly right. We wuz on
air-shlp.-Judge.
do you mean to say yeu don't have
any trouble in keeping your wife
dressed in the height of fashionT
That's what said. My trouble comes
when 1 don't keep her dressed THAI
way."-Philadelphi Press.
81 suppose you have made it rule
In politics never to forget a friend"
There's no danger of that" answered
Senator Sorghum; IF man has done
anything friendly for you in politics he
never lets ysu forget it."-Ex.
Tess-What's the celebration at
Bess's house this evening? Jess-She's
keeping her birthday. Tess-Well, 1t
will be a great success If she only
keeps it as well as she keeps the date
of her birth.-Philadelp Press.
Crabshaw-He has the inventive fac.
ulty very highly developed. Crawford
What has he invented? Crabshaw-
Nothing, so far as l know. But when
his wife goes out he can think of things
to keep the baby amused by the hour"
Judge.
She-Jack played an awfully heart
less trick on Flossie He-Hew' s ,that?
She-Why, they were engaged, you
know, and last night, at the bal
masque, Jack made up so that Flossie
didn't know him. He proposed and
was accepted again!-Puck.
when you first entered politics"
said the young man, who was looking
for knowledge, did you set out with
the determination to win at any costY"
NO" answered Senator Sorghum, Il
set out with the determination to win
at as little expense as possible" -
Washington Star.
IT won't go abroad" "Sea travel
ddsagrees with your" mo" "Busl-
ness keeps you here continually, eh?'
NO" Sightseeing wearies you%"
NO" "Then why. pray, don't you go
abroad?" "Sh-h-h! I've only got four
dollars and twenty-five cents"
land Plain Dealer.
Overheard During the Theatricals
She-How well your wife plays Lady
Geraldine, Mr.. Jones! l think the way
she puts on that awful affected tone
is Just splendid. How does she man
age it? Mr.. Jones with embarrass
ment)-Er-she doesn't. That's hel
natural voice.-London Tit-Bits.
Darling" exclaimed the happy hus
band after the minister had pro
nounced the fatal words, 81 am moi
sorthy of you" "Of course, you are
not" she replied; but after a girl has
celebrated her twenty fifth birthday
for five consecutive years she can't as
ford, to be too particular" Cincinnati
Enquirer.
''Mr Scrapem," said the hostess tt
an amateur violinist at an evening
gathering, you play the violin. do yor
not2" Eyes, after a fashion, you
know" was the modest reply. "Hov
Rice!' murmured half the company
did you bring your violin with you p
mo; I did not" "How nicer muir
INJURED the other half of the company
in fervent unison.-Galveston News.
Hodge (who has just had a toott
drawn)-Well, guv'nor, how much d.
you ak for the job? You did do 1
quick. Dentistry charge is two-and
six. Hodge-Two-and-six? Why, /,
doctor down at our place drawed {
tooth for me once and it took him two
hours; he hauled me round and rounC
the room-I never seed such hare
worK-and he only charged me a shill
in'-Scraps.
A farmer and his wife called at
photograph gallery to order some pho
tographs Of her, and while the oper
ator was getting ready, the husband
gave the wife little advice as to how
she must act. "Fasten your mind OF