Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1906-10-18

American people would really like to
have is a simplifed Henry James,
Atlanta Journal.
The railroads of the United States
are killing % persons and masning 23s
every day. Isn't it time to have those
safety appliance laws repealed:-Phil-
adelphia North American.
They are talking of giving the auto
mobiles the exclusive use of the parks
in Chicago on Sundavs But how can
they tell when it IS Sunday in Chi
cago? -Philadelph Press.
1t is said that crap games are be-
coming popular on Wall street. This
will make the Southern colored broth
er feel a natural affinity for Wall
street.-Atlanta Constitution.
Count Whites denial that he will re-
enter politics is not surprising. Indeed,
the whole trend in Russia seems to be
the other way, either by the frontier
or the bomb Indianapolis News.
Upon the birth of his forty third
child an attempt is being made to get
President Smith of the Mormon Church
into trouble. Has anti-race suicide be-
come a dead issue?-Louisville Post
The Department of Agriculture has
given permission to the packers to boil
their canned roast beef" Secretary
Wilson probably thought it better that
way than raw.-Philadelphi North
American.
The city of New York maintains on
its payrolls nearly $1,000 workers, at
an annual expense of $57,0O0,000
That's the sort of thing that would
pacify the Cuban urgeRts.-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
1t is explained that the Sultan can
not give an audience to Ambassador
Leishman because it would fatigue him
too much. What the audience would
do to the ambassador is not stated
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Part of the Japanese famine fund
was diverted to the pockets of officials,
and some of them are in jail in con-
sequence. How often it has been re-
marked that the japanese are great
imitators Chicago News.
Somebody over in New York shot a
woman to stop her singing. While she
naturally feels that the method was
unduly violent, the public withholds
judgment while awaiting the name Of
the song.-Philadelphia Ledger.
A Kentucky colonel has just been
buried in a solid rock along with a
quart of old liquor. Based on the
whisky supply, it is evident that the
colonel is not expected to stay buried
very long.-Philadelphia Telegraph.
1.-THE Grand Army Of the Republic
is the largest organization of ex-sol-
diers in the world" announces an ex-
change. Surely not. What is the mat
ter with the survivors of the Noble Six
Hundred of Balaclava ?-Houston
Post.
Secretary Taft is now finding out
what Secretary Hay meant when he
described dealing with Latin-American
diplomats as like trying to hold a
weasel in your lap and talking philoso-
ply at the same time.-New York
Press.
If old Ii Hung Chang had not been
too early gathered to his fathers. he
COu1d have f1anoD Stro+n5 NV 6yI,;,,oeo.
census returns that Roosevelt's anti
race suicide platform originated in
China 5000 B. C.-LouisyilIe Courier
Journal.
Let us be frank. Complaints of the
rOwdy behavior of enlisted men in the
vicinity of military posts are not I'M
common. The respect always due to
the American uniform is primarily due
from those who wear it.-Milwaukee
Sentinel.
An Indianian who never bathed and
lived to be eighty years old is de-
scribed as lone of the best known mer-
chants in the country" Doubtless he
could be readily identified even in the
dark of the moon.-Louisville Journal.
The japanese financial agent has
arrived at Victoria on his way to this
country to borrow 100000. If he
is in a hurry. he need come no farther
than Kansas. The sum will be a mere
bagatelle for that State.-St. Louis
Republic.
TO the tragic circumstances under
which scores of people lost their lives
along the Gulf coast, Il beautiful con-
trast is furnished by numerous heroic
attempts to rescue those who were N
danger. Stories of such deeds are full
o., inspiration.-New York Tribune
The annexation of Cuba is only a
question of time, as all the world
knows and is agreeably concurrent as
the best thing to BE- done This being
an accepted fact, the American spirit
of doing at once whatever is to be
done, will mature events rapidly-Bur-
lington Hawkeye.
Because she carried a dog. Lillian
Russell was denied admittance to
Chicago hotel. Thus Lillian demon
strates to her sisters that it is neither
necessary TO lose diamonds nor adopt
simplified spelling TO get into the pa
pers.-Macon News.
One of the college professors has
written magazine article in which he
argues that members of his profession
ought to be paid at least $1,000 a year
each. He's extravagant That's as
much as the average prize fighter gets
for staying twenty rounds.-Chicago
Record Herald