The Washington herald., 1906-12-16

k6T SNT all this talk about trial mar
8 riages' absurd?' remarked the
= widow. laying her newspaper on
the tabourette. and depositing two small
red kid toes on the edge of the fender
Tt IS" agreed the bachelor. cheerfully.
with his eyes on the red kid toes con
sidering that all marriages are-trials''
Just fancy" went on the widow,
scornfully. ignoring the fippancy. being
leased to a husband or wife for a period
of years, like fiat or a yacht or-or--''
a secondhand piano." suggested the
bachelor.
And knowing" continued the widow,
gazing centemplatively into the fire, that
when the lease or the contract or what
ever it is. expired, unless the other party
cared TO renew it, you would be on the
market again"
And probably in need of all sorts OF
repairs, added the bachelor. reflective
ly, in your temper and your complexion
and your ideas"
Yes, sighed the widow, ten years Of
married life viii rub all the varnish off
your manners, and all the color off your
illusions and all the finish of your con-
yersation."
And the hinges Of your love-making
and your pretty speeches are likely to
creak every time you open your mouth"
affixed the bachelor, gloomily.
And you are bound 10 be old-fashion-
ed" concluded the widow. with convic-
tion, 'and to compare badly with
brand-new wives and husbands with all
the modern improvements. Besides. %
she continued, thOughtfully. even if you
should be lucky enough 10 find another
another
'Tenant-fOr your heart?" suggested the
bachelor, helpfuIly.
The widow nodded.
There would be the agony" she went
on, "of getting used to him or her"
And the torture" added the bachelor.
with a faint shudder, ''of going through
with the wedding ceremony again and OF
walking up a green and yellow church
aisle with a green and yellow feeling and
a stiff new coat, and the gaping multi
tude gazing at you as if you were new
specimen Of crocodile or a curio or
1T takes nearly all OF one lifetime"
interrupted the widow. impatientIy TO
get used 10 one wife or husband: but
according 10 the trial marriage idea.
Just as you had gotten somebody nicely
trained into all your little ways and dis
covered how TO manage him.
"Ari TO bluff him." interpOlated the
bachelor.
And what to have for dinner when you
were going to show him the bill for a new
hat proceeded the widow. and how
TO keep him at home nights"
And TO separate him from his money"
remarked the bachelor. sarcastically.
And to make him see things your
way" concluded the widow. lit would be
time to pack up your trunks and leave.
Any two people," she continued. medita-
lively, 'can live together fairly COM
fOrtably after they have discovered the
path around one anOther's nerves-the
little things not to say and not to do in
order to avoid friction. and the little
things to say and to do that will oil the
matrimonial wheels. But It would take
all the trial period to get the domestic
machine running, and then
You'd be running after another soul
mate, finished the bachelor sympa-
theticalIy.
Yes" The widow crossed the red kid
toes, and then drew them quickly under
the ruffies OF her skirts a she caught the
bachelor staring at them. "And-Ive-for-
gotten what I was going TO say" she
finished. turning the color Of her slip
pers.
'Oh. 1t doesn't matter" said the bach
elor, cOnsoHngly-
What"
1T doesn't matter what you say"
explained the bachelor, Its the way you
say 1t, and
About soul-mates, broke in the widow
collecting herself, "there'd always be the
chance" she pursued hurriedIy that
you'd have TO take secondhand one -
Sometimes. remarked the bachelor
blowing a smoke ring and gazing through
II at the place where the widows toes
had been, secondhand goods are more
attractive than cheap. new articles. For
instance. widow
oh. Widows" interrupted the widow
impatiently. they're different They're
like heirlooms-only parted with at death
But it would be different with a wife who
was relinquished because she wasn't
wanted. If anybody is anxious to get
rid OF something it is a pretty sure sign
that it isn't worth having It's nearly
always got n flaw somewhere and it's
seldom what 1t is represented TO be- Be-
can't get along with one husband. usually
finds it just as difficult 10 get along with
another"
There would always be the chance,
protested the bachelor, that you might
get the party who had done the dis
carding"
And who might want to do it again. ''
objected the widow triumphantly. Just
imagine. she added, irrelevantly ''liv-
ing with a person whom somebody else
had trained b"
"oh, that would have it's advantages, ;"
declared the bachelor. a horse broken
10 aa-pess is always easier to handle
Perhaps agreed the widow. leaning
back. and thOughtlessly putting her red
kid toes on the fender again, but when
two horses are going TO travel together
1t is always best for them 10 get used 10
one another's gait from the first Don't
you look at It that way2'
(Which way?" asked the bachelor.
squirting at the fender with his head on
the side.
Fancy" said the widow. not noticing
the DETECTION, marrying a man who had
been encouraged 70 take an interest in
the household affairs. and having him
following you about picking up things af-
Ter you: or one. whose first wife had
trained him TO sit by the fire in the even
ing, and whom II took a derrick to get
70 the theater or a dinner party; or one
who had been permitted to smoke a pipe
and put his feet all over the furniture
and growl about the meals ana boss the
cook"
"Or TO wife" Interpoiated the bache-
lor, who had always handled the funds
and monopolized the conversation. and
chosen her husbands collars, and who