davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
OLD TIME P0STMASTERS.
They Were Called Upon to Do All Man
ner Of Queer Things.

1he modern postmaster may
think he has troubles of his own,
but there was time, along about
1917, when be was called upon to
do all manner of queer things. For
instance, in rummaging through an
old trunk a venerable resident of
Washington recoetly unearthed an
age stained pamphlet which an
nouneed the Inauguration of "new
daily and thrice week paper" to
be printed "at the seat of govern
ment." The announcement was
dated April ), 1877, and after a
voluminous exposition of the vir-
tues of the proposed paper the ed
itor to be sad:
"Postmasters. are hereby author
lied to receive subscriptions for the
Gazette, and for all moneys collect
ed and transmitted to the editor, at
the city of Washington, IA discount
of 10 per cent will be allowed. Dis
tant subscribers will have their pa
pers carefully packed and punctual-
ly forwarded to order"
Then follows set of blank spaces
where the postmaster might append
the names of the subscribers. The
entire pamphlet was complete, and
a copy was sent, presumably to every
postmaster in the then United
States. If every postmaster could
thus be used as mail order agent"
in these DAYS of strenuous competi-
ton what variety of duties they
would be called upon to perform.
But under the system that then ex-
isted this method was entirely prop
er, and it is said that the postmas-
ters made considerable revenue
from these sources. Needless to say
this was before the days of the now
celebrated ''fraud order" which the
postoffice department issues with
every returning sun.
But getting back to the pros
pectus." 1t is a weird affair, won
derfully and fearfully made. 1t
actually states that "a competent
reporter will be employed to furnish
the proceedings of congress for the
Gazette" and that all "iuteresting
articles of intelligence will be care
fully selected and published" When
it says that "all public documents
and state papers will be printed at
full length one is Immediately re-
minded of the Congressional Rec
ord, publication that has been
without rival in the memory of
man.
1t is also interesting that the ed
itor to be, one Jonathan Elliott,
advertised in April that he would
start paper in October. And he
expected all these subscriptions tu
be Forthcoming, evidently before
the paper Was cstatl-hoj.-New
Haven | mon.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
A Ruse Of Childhood.

A local business man was remi-
niscent over his boyhood the other
day, says an exchange. EVERY
morning before school | had to go
out on the farm to hoe potatoes
with father. We lived on a farm,
you know. The potato patch was
not great distance from the house,
and was supposed to stay there un-
til mother called me to come in,
when it was time to dress for school.
1t wouldn't be long, of course, until
| got tired. Then I'd watch father
out of the corner of my eve until
he seemed engrossed in what he v
doing, then Id turn toward the
house and yell, All right throw
down my hoe and run for home.
Mother was supposed to have called
me to school Father just thought
he didn't hear her. | worked that
right along, and, for all l know, he
hasn't found it out vet"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Too Realistic.

The day of the Indian brave is
over, bat if he scalps no longer he
at least remembers the way it is
done.
At certain side show two BOYS,
finding themselves alone with an
eX-chlef, requested him to give a
warwhoop and show them how he
scalped his foes.
The Indian evaded the point, and
after time the Youngsters fell into
a conversation between themselves.
suddenly the brave sprang to his
feet with a scream that made the
building ring. At the same mo-
ment he seized his knife, gripped
the hair of one of the boys and ran
the back of the blade around his
scalp,
The Youngsters were nearly
frightened out of their wits, but the
chief laughed loudly. He had done
nothing more than they had asked
him TO do, but he had chosen his
own time
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
FOR THE LITTLE ONES.
Simple, Yet Puxxiins, Trick With Chalk
and Slate.

Here is a pretty little trick that,
as simple as 1t Is, will mystify al
most any one who sees it performed.
With a piece of chalk write a
word or a number backwards on
newspaper, but don't let any one
see YOU do it. Now, with the news
paper lying on the table ready for
YOU, take slate and wipe it off with
a wet sponge, leaving the moisture
OH 1t.
Then quickly wrap the slate in
the newspaper, taking care that the
chalk written word shall come in
contact with the slate itself. not TIE
frame Wrap it closely. tie mp the
package and hand it to some one to
hold.
Now do a little of the talking that
magicianS amuse their audiences
with, and then ask the person who
has the package to give it back to
YOU Open il carefully in the pres
ence of the company and YOU will
find the chalk written word trans
ferred to the slate. The moisture
on the slate receives and retains the
impression of the chalk.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29

Would YOU like to draw some ami
mails more remarkable than any YOU
have ever seen in the menagerie?
1t is a good indoor game to play
with a few children. Each child
has a paper and pencil and draws
the head Of some animal. Then,
folding over the paper so that only
the end Of the animals neck can be
seen, he passes the paper to. the next
child, who continues the drawing
and makes the body of the animal.
This, too, is folded over and passed
on, and the next player draws the
creatures legs-two or four, just
as he pleases. Then the papers are
unfolded and queer collection of
creatures they will prove. People
can be drawn in the same way.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Wanted Double Allowance.

An army surgeon relates the sto-
ry of soldier who had been in the
hospital and kept on low diet fol
quite awhile. Naturally he yearned
for good square meal.
One morning the doctor found
him so much better that it seemed
his longing appetite could be safe
ly gratifed.
"Could you eat a small chicken
today, my man?" the surgeon III.
quired.
Indeed, l could, sir" eagerly re-
sponded the patient.
"And what would you like to have
it stuffed with?"
"Well, sir" replied the hungry
soldier, II should like it stuffed
with another. "-Philadelphia Ledg'
er. ...
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29

Shell and scald them, leaving in
the water for ten minutes or until
the skins slip off easily. Shake in
"A towel and spread in the sun for
an hour to get perfectly dry. Put
them into a baking pan, stirring up
we'll with teaspoonful of melted
butter. Set the pan in an oven
when the nuts are all coated with
the butter and brown very lightly,
stirring often to cook them evenly.
Turn into colander, sift fine salt
over them and shake and toss gen
tly 10 free them of surplus salt and
butter. Keep in u cool place.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Following The, Flag,

When our soldiers went to Cuba and
the Philippines, health was the most
important consideration. Willis T..
Morrisson, retired Commissary Ser
peant u. S. A., of Rural Route |, Con.
ord, N. H., says: a was two years in
Cuba and two years in the Philippines,
and being subject to colds, ! took DR..
Kings New Discovery for Consumption,
which kept me in perfect health. Aud
no. in New Ha npshire, we find it the
best medicine in the world for coughs,
colds, bronchial troubles aud all lung
diseases. Guaranteed at tJohn w. Thu s.
t, IS, druggist. Price soc and $l.OO.
Trial bottle free.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Born Blind.

A great criminal lawyer in New
York, Mr.. B., has rich and lovely
client, who is famous for her ex-
tremely naughty manner.
This noted beauty had run down
poor old woman in her auto and
was arrested.
"Oh. Mr.. B., do you think You
will be able to get me out of this 2
she asked piteously.
Eyes, indeed" said he, with a
twinkle in his eye. "Ill prove con-
clusivelv to the jury that from the
hour of your birth you've never
been able to see any one worth less
than 100000" "-Harper's Weekly.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
A Perchina Bird.

Many persons wonder why it is
that IA bird or chicken does not
fall from its perch while asleep. The
reason is that the tendon that runs
along the leg and into the claws
contracts when the bird assumes
sitting position and thus keeps the
claws IN close contact with the
perch. When in that position the
bird has no control over its claws
and could not relax its grasp if it
tried to do so, for the bent leg keeps
the tendon contracted.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Gilt Picture Frames,

Gilt picture frames may be clean
ed by mixing thoroughly one table
spoonful of melted soap with half a
pint of boiling water. Add to these
a wineglassful of spirits of harts-
horn, and mix them well together.
Apply this with small, soft brush,
and after allowing this lotion to re-
main on for minute wash it care
fully oil with clean water, and dry
the frame in the sunshine.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
His Sore Spot.

The passenger who had come into
the street car last found himself re-
garding with some interest the ex-
ceedingly red nose of the man sit
ting opposite. The owner of the
nose also appeared to find it out, fol
he leaned forward presently and
said, with evident irritation:
81 know what you're lookin' at"
81 beg your pardon ?"
81 say | know what you're lookin
at, and it amt what you think it is
at all. It's erysipelas. And what's
more, it's none Of your business
anyhow
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Won't Shut Up.

'Tve been reading about an ex-
tinct volcano that still smokes.
Queer, isn't IT,"
"lep. Reminds me of a woman.
She gets mad and says she's never
going to speak to you again and
then keeps right on talking De
troit Free Press.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29

Tom Reed, accompanied by vii,
liam Bryant, well known politi
elan in Waltham. took a Watertowr
branch Fitchburg railroaD trair
one evening for the Watch City
where he was booked to speak at q
Republican rally. 1t was Reed
first experience going "around the
horn" Stop after stop was made
and finally the brakeman sang out
"Bleachery. Bleachery. The next
station is Chemistry"
Say, Bill" drawled Reed, "this
train is taking regular high school
course" boston Herald.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29

Sweet Girl-Mother, George told
me solemnly that that pretty hair
pin holder he gave me cost So. Yet
today | saw exactly the same kind
on sale for 10 cents.
Mother - You know, my dear,
George is very religious. Most like
ly he bought that at a church. fair.
New York Weekly.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Drive Away Beetles.

Add a piece of rock alum the size
of a large potato to IA pint of boil
ing water and allow it to simmer for
about half an hour. Paint over the
places that the beetles haunt with
the mixture At the same time
sprinkle the floor with powdered
borax, and you will soon be rid of
the pests.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Freshenins Yelling.

Souse in gasoline out of doors,
shake gently and attach with many
pins to the line in the sun, but not
where the wind will stretch it out
of shape, or, after shaking out the
gasoline, spread smoothly upon a
cloth, pinning down at the edges,
and leave in the air and shade to
drv.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Kitchen Helps.

Use soap and wood ashes to
brighten pans and kettles that have
been used over an open fire
Grease the upper inside edge of
the pan in which chocolate is being
made, and it will not boil over.
Always place knife which has
been used in cutting onions immedi-
ately under the cold water spigot to
prevent the odor from clinging to
the blade.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29

Line a deep pie dish with slices of
raw potato, sprinkle with finely
minced onion and parsley, then put
in a LAYER of slices of cold meat cut
into inch squares. Continue till the
dish is full, having potatoes last.
Bake slowly for two hours and serve.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Soap Economy.

The pulverized washing powders
last much longer if used from tai
cum powder shaker. A baking pow
der can with holes punched through
the lid may be utilized for the pur-
pose.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Death From LOckjaw

never follows an injury dressed with
Bucklen's Arnica Salve. Its antiseptic
and healing properties prevent blood
poisoning. Chas. Oswald, merchant, of
Rensselaersvlle. N. Y. writes at
cured Seth Burch, of this place, of the
ugliest sore on his neck ] ever saw"
Curss Cuts, Wounds. Burns and Sores.
25c at John w. Thurston's drug store.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
The Way.

'1 wish l could prevail upon
Johnnie to keep his face clean and
to be neater about his attire.
"Give him an opportunity to fall
in love with the pretty live girl
whose people have just moved next
door, r.'-Houston Post.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Poor Fellow.

Towne = Henpeck tells me his
wife actually pulls his hair when
she gets mad.
Browne-The idea. Why doesn't
he keep his hair cut shorts
Towne--l asked him that, and he
said his wife wouldn't let him.
Philadelphia Press.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
His One Regret.

Swiggs-I wish i was about three
feet taller than / am.
Biggs-Because why?
Swiggs-The doctor says whisky
is killing me by nches.-Chicago
News.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
An Ideal Duster.

A soft chamois skin soaked in
sold water and then wrung nearly
dry is the ideal duster. 1t can be
used on the finest furniture, and it
will leave clean, bright surface.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29

"Now, Tommy" said the teacher,
addressing small pupil, ''can you
tell me where the Declaration of In
dependence was signed:"
YES, ma'am," answered Tommy.
1T was signed at the bottom"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
The Towsers' Party.

oh, never was a party given
More gay than the Towsers'. know,
For all who were kindly invited
Were more than delighted to go.
Oh, never was merrier laughter!
1t echoed for many mile.
And no one was there for a minute
Before he was certain to smile.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Sometime Unukual.

Hewitt-Gruet is very uncon-
ventional fellow.
Jewett-What has he done now:
Hewitt-He was sick and was
taken to hospital, and now that
he has come out he shows no in
cIlnatlon to marry the nurse who
took care of him.-Woman's Home
Companion.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Trying to BE Just.

II suppose you object to railway
rebates :"
Il dunno as ! do," answered
Farmer Corntossel, "exceptin' when
they're only jes' another way of
stickin' up the price on the fellers
that haven't a pull. ."-Washington
Star.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29

Little Johnny-Pa took me to
the circus last night.
Little Tommy-Was il any good !:
Little Johnny-Well, guess YES.
Why, it was almost as good as the
posters.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29

"I know man who married at
ninety-seven."
"Well, he was too old to know
better" detroit Free Press.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
Facts In the Case.

Dibbles--lsn't that Hawkins, the
broker. in that automobile?
Nibbles-Yes.
Dibbles-lt's a fine machine. He
must have money.
Nibbles-Yes. He has a lot of
mine.-Columbus Dispatch.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
A Laundry Hint,

A good way to make starch for
dark dresses is to place lump starch
in pan and color a dark brown in
the oven. Then make in the usual
way.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29

Teacher - When little George
Washlngton's father forgave him
for cutting down the cherry tree
what lesson did it teach:
Small Freddie-That it's a wise
father who knows when to bury the
hatchet.-Chicago News.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29

Percy - When does your sister
Minnie expect to get married:
Little Sister-Every summer
Pueblo Chieftain.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
Latest Sayings From, the Lips Of Little
Ones.

Little Harry-Are YOU going to
inarry my sister, Mr. Sapleigh?
Sapleigh-l-aw-don't know,
Harry.
Little Harry-Then pa was right.
lie said YOU didn't know ANYTHING.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29
,,...x District Probate Court.

..s...,S nt said Court viii be held at
f....,.,,, the second Tuesday of October aud
f t-tuaau tue second Tuesday ot No
.r..r aud NaN. West Concord the second
..I4, 81 uecrmber aud June. l.unenburt
. .-tyJ Tuesday ot tIanuarN and July.
....-I.tl ,s~Stous viii he held at any place IN
.H.. District hS agreement.
''' RuRERT CHASE. Judge
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1906-06-29

The mistletoe hung in the passage;
The mistletoe hung in the hail.
While nice little candles on brackets
Were fastened to every wall.
But, oh, how the time seems to hurry
Whenever there's plenty of fun,
For all said the party was over
Before 1t had hardly begun!
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1906-07-19

Unless man knows how to side up
to the people, he wants to stay out of
politics.
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1906-07-19

John Wesley Crockett, deputy secre-
tary of state in Arkansas and candidate
for president of the state railroad com
mission, is a great grandson of Davy
Crockett, hero of Alamo. Among his
most cherished possessions are the gold
watch and the rifle gun" of his illustri-
Gus ancestor. The rifle was the gift of
500 young wings, his admirers in Phila-
delphia. When the gift was presented
Mr.. Crockett said: Gentlemen, / re-
ceive this rifle from the young men of
Philadelphia as testimony of the
friendship which l hope never to live to
forget. This is favorite article with
me and would have been my choice
above all presents that could have been
selected. l love good gun, for it
makes a man feel independent and pre-
pared for war in peace"
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1906-07-19

Our republican friends will either
have to hide their campaign book of
1902 or they will have to write new
chapter on the relation of the president
to the trusts. In 1902 they devoted
four pages to reprinting what Mr..
Roosevelt had been saying about "the
great captains of industry" and "the
strong and forceful men upon whom the
success of business operations inevita-
bly, rests They gleefully quoted his
writings and speeches to the effect that
antagonism to trusts is "wholly without
warrant In all this, they said, he was
conservative, but fearless" How will
they mix this sort of talk with his
muckrake speech, his oil-trust message,
his packing house articles, and the like?
What dish of muck and honey they
will have to serve up this year!
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1906-07-19
THE FARMERS TRUST.

Before the farmers of the country be-
come entangled in crop trust they will
do well to study the trend of events as
it effects combines of all kinds. Union
labor, the most aggressive of all trusts,
is getting the deserts of illegal combin-
alton. Ice men are in Jail in Toledo for
joining together to raise the price of a
necessity. A high court has decided
that the piratical plumbers trust can
not collect debts any more thaa a poker
player can enforce the payment of a
gambling debt. The large trusts are
having all sorts of troubles, and now it
looks as if the last of them must go to
the wall.
From the present outlook it is a bad
time to launch so great a combine as a
farmers trust. Surely the agricultural
people are not contemplating so dis
orderly thing as strike. They have
had their troubles between the stock
markets, the elevator trust, the imple-
ment trust and the high price of labor,
but there are better times ahead. The
strong arm of the law is after the ele-
vator-rail-road combination. The vii
lage slaughter house will come into
being again, making home market for
live stock. Ridicule is not proper argu-
ment with which to approach the farm
ers. They have suffered from the
abuses of illegal combinations, but they
must not seek to remedy the evils by an
illegal combination among themselves
Their best and most etfectual remedy
is to join in the overthrow of the OPP
pressive tariff system. Without this
shield, the trusts that are depressing
the farming interests could not exist a
year. Open the markets of the world
remove the cause of retaliation against
American agrarian products and the
farming population will see easier
times.
Besides there are 5000 mischief-mak
ing walking delegates now supported
by the workingmen of this country. Dc
the farmers want to swell the number
and then subject themselves to the
arbitrary orders of these well-paiG
gentry? The farmers independence is
of monumental comfort to him. Let hin
but unionize and at once there is
an end of all that.
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1906-07-19

The newspapers tell good story in
which the wife of the late U. S. minister
to China cut considerable of figure.
When in the Celestial kingdom she paid
500 for rug against the remonstrance
of her husband who averred that she
knew nothing about the value of rugs
and would be cheated by the owner.
Mrs. Conger brought her purchase
home with her and when in Chicago
sold it to a dealer in rugs who had
offered her $1,000 for it, and invested
the money in her new California home.
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1906-07-19
Why?

Why should we fill the senate with
men of moderate means? Here are a
few reasons:
So that senator from New York will
be able to vote for reform of express
company methods without losing half a
million by it.
So that a senator from Rhode Island
will be able to favor the manufacture OF
denatured alcohol without helping drive
his father-in- law out of business.
So that senator from Montana will
not be able to dispose of his seat to a
copper Spectator in return for certain
business advantages.
So that senator from New Jersey
will be able to do his share towards
regulating the insurance business.
So that senator from Ohio will not
have to be the implacable foe of railroad
legislation in order to hold his position
So that a senator from Nebraska will
not be unduly biased when it comes tt
national bank legislation.
So that the occupant of senate seat
from Michigan will be able to think on
the Arizona-New Mexico question with
out saying: "How will this affect my
property out thcre?"
These are few reasons. There are
over dozen more. And that comes
dangerously near being a majority O.
the body of men who are supposed tt
exercise wise, temperate and JUS
supervision over the legislation of this
country.