The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1906-08-21
NEWSPAPER cHAFF.

NEWSPAPER cHAFF.
"Yes. madam, said the salesman
this is the most exquisite dinner set
we ever handled. The price is $3.50
"Ill take it. said Mrs Richley III
you'll agree to marx &C imitation
Price $500
"of course. but-er-thats rather
an odd request.
YES. but want to deceive our
servant Philadelphia Press.
The tcrrors Of the deep were per
haps never more thrillingly set forth
than I'm the description by young
lady who last year made her FIRST trip
abroad. She kert diary. very mucn'
saws tne New York Herald, like that
Of Mark Twain wnen for seven days
ne recorded the fact that he got up.
washed and went 10 breakfast
There was one important oxcep-
tion When she crossed the Channel
the experience was so trying that
she felt impollod to describe it.
Il firmly resolved to stay ON deck
she wrote. although the tempest In
creased TO such a fnghtful hurricane
that II was only with the greatest dit
ncuity that ! coulu hold mp my para
sol"
=
when President lladloy OF Yale
was professor OF political science there
a student once oncrcu him poor
excuse for bad examination paper
Prof. Hadlcy listened to the excuse
I'm silence. Then he said That cN-
cusc Is about as poor az the one
criminal lawyer offered for his client
in a case that had gone hard with
him. 'Gcntlomcn of the jury cried
tnis lawyer. oloQucnuy remember
that my client Is nara Of hearing and
that therefore the voice OF conscience
appeals to him In vain. Kansas city
star.
An Irshman was walking along
road beside o. golf lIn.s. wncn Dee was
suddenly struck between tho shout
ncrs by golf halI The force OF the
blow almo.. knocked him down
When me- recovered ho observed
roucr running toward him.
Arc YOU hurt?' asked The player
why didn't you got ont OF thc way7
An why shouiI ! get ont Of the
wayy" asked Pat 81 didn't know there
were any assassius around here
But / called lorc, said the player
and when say torc, that is sign
for you TO get ont of the way
"oh. It IS. IS ity" said Pat. "Well,
thin. whln Oi say ioiyc, IS rs a Sign
tnat you are going 90 get hit ON tho
nose. 'Folvc.' New York World.
like some other authors Mrs. Ella
Wheeler Wilcox has fairly high
npinlon of her own literary ability. \
play which she had produced not long
ago fell rather nat She was caned
before the curtain on the FIRST night
and made % little speech, q copy OF
which she gave Co % newspaper man
whom she found behind the scenes.
Now. it happened that the reporter
nj one time had been snubbcd 10y the
portcss and he took this occasion 10
get even. II beg your pardon, madam,
ne murmured politely, but I am afraid
l didn't catch your name" Il AN
Ella wheeler wilcox gasped the
horriicd lady. drawing herself mp TO
her fun height And may ! ask you
to what branch OF the Wilcox family
YOU belong" demanded her urbane
tormentor. "To the Ella wheeler WI
cox branch sir" was the naughty ,e-
ply. as the gifted lady strobe haugluly
away Kansas City star
=
A little girl called her essay "a
Comparison, and In II she compared
the horse and the camel In way that
should be- OF interest to students of
natural history, as it contains infor
maton not generally known. She
wrote:
There is but one horse that can
cross the great desert and he are a
camel. The reason hc can cross the
desert Is because ne can carry water
Tor himself In his hump The horse
cannot do so. when the camel has no
hump Is Is a sign that he had drunk
himself dry Exchange.
=
A Nebraskan minister who enjoys
the confidence of w j. Bryan asked
the presidential candidate OF 1896
Just before he was leaving the coun
trV on his urtseut tour what was the