The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-06-13

II thought it would be. They tried
to work a dozen other styles of Oh me,
but l was after the best and would
take nc other. Fly George, but you'll
look like a princess in this gown"
Mrs. Bowser smiled, but 1t was q
CHASTITY smile. She wanted to Swing
her hat" but 1t wouldn't swing. Mr..
Bowser finally caught on to the fact
that she wasn't enthusiastic and he
Queried:
lis there anything wrong about it,"
"No-o," she replied, as she held it
up against her.
But II there is just say SO. l may
have made a mistake, you know. II
you We're to make any criticism at all,
what would it be?"
"There is nothing to criticise, you
good man, you," she answered, know
ing that she could take it down in the
morning and exchange it, and that the
chances were he would never discover
the fact. ut is perfectly all right, and
you are one of the best husbands in the
world"
"That pays me for all my trouble"
he said, as a tear gathered in his left
eye. There are wives and wives.
There are wives who appreciate and
| wives who don't. You belong to the
former class, and I thank heaven for
It."
Met Mrs. Green.
Ten minutes later Mr.. Bowser had an
errand at the drug store. On his way
over he met Mrs. Green. When she
had asked after Mrs. Bowser she said:
II thought l saw you in one Of the
stores this afternoon, but I was proba-
bly, mistaken"
II was in one of the stores all right
enough, and you can't guess what fort"
"Gloves for your wifeY"
mo. I was down to the tea gown
SALE"
"Oh, she gave you a hint that she
wanted a new tea gown, did she? p
mot a blessed hint. l wanted to give
her a little surprise, you know, and l
think l did. She was raving about the
gown as l left the house,"
"What color did you get?" asked the
woman.
Lavender"
Lavender on Mrs. Bowser! Why,
you don't tell me! She can't wear Law
ender any more than I can wear pinkv'
"Why not?"
Because it doesn't become her. What
size did you get?"
"Forty-two bust measure"
"Sakes alive! l know that her meas
ure is only thirty-four. Was it high or
low cut?"
"Low, OF course"
'Then she will never, never wear it.
She hasn't got the neck for a low cut
gown, and you e saw her wear one.
The salesgirl must have thought you
wanted something for a woman weigh
ing about 800 pounds and seventy years
old. You shouldn't have done it, MI.
Bowser."
Told He Had Made Mistake.
"But do you mean to tell me-" he re-
torted, do you mean to tell me that I
don't know enough to pick out a tea
gown for Mrs. Bowser?"
"Of course you don't. Not one hus-
band in a thousand does. MI. Green
would no more attempt to pick out a
| 0V"A AAS IhO AO04AA Al l4C WOI4Os
Can't you see that you made four or
FIVE bad m~istakes|"
She said Good night" and passed
on, and Mr.. Bowser took a walk around
the block. When he came to his house
he turned in at the gate. He opened
the door like a man who has deter
mined to scale the Alps. He walked
| down :ha hall like n man having M
fear Of a Colorado avalanche. The tea
gown lay on u chair. Mrs. Bowser and
the cat seemed to have been weeping.
"What's the matter!" was asked as
he counted out SO and slapped the
bills down on the table.
No answer.
"What are you going to doY" was
asked as he flung the gown yer his
arm and turned away.
No answer. Mr.. Bowser walked
straight out of the house, straight down
to the gate, straight down the street.
for half a block, and then the tragedy
occurred. He seized that tea gown by
the neck and choked it to death. He
seized it by the rms and wrenched
them from their sockets. He gathered
up the skirt and rent and tore and
made strips Of it, and then he jumped
up and down and uttered cuss words,
and the spring robin roosting in a tree
over his head uttered a shrek and flew
away through the darkness.
NJ. QUAD.
VrH~,, Vyy~NN v-an~