davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03

A Chicago man who was looking for
real estate in this locality went over
to Lone Jack the other day to buy a
large block of town lots. On visiting
the graveyard he found that only
twenty-one people had died in three
years. He did not buy. He realized
that town that couldn't do better
than that was slow town and had
no future.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03
A Ride for His Temper.

A certain farmer living near the
town of Derby, haSing got himself dis
liked on account of his QuaTelsome
habits. the other farmers decided one
night to cool him down a bit.
At midnight the farmer was dis
turbed by a voice shouting: Your
horse is stolen"
The irate farmer hurried on his
clothes, and. fastening to the door,
asked: (Which way has he gomez"
Toward H" replied one of the
farmers
Another offered the loan of a horse
he bestrode. which offer the sleepy
farmer accepted. After riding all
night he found himself at daylight
next morning riding lis own horse. Nv
Tit-Bits.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03
A Good House for Sale.

The homestead of the late Louis
S. Reynolds on South Adams street
Lancaster.
A very convenient and desira BILE
place. A ten room full two story
house in good condition; one large
addition and porches.
Large shade trees in yard. City
water and clstern. Lots 14S feet
fronting street, and opposite High
school grounds and level walk to
churches and business part of the
city. Possession given IN 80 days.
For terms enquire OF
HARLEY L. SPRAGUE, BeetOwn, or
HERMAN BUCHNER,
28tf Lancaster, Wis.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03

Edward Jones and Peter Howard
both Of this town, met on the street
last Sunday and resumed a political
discussion, with the result that guns
were drawn and ten shots fired. No
one was killed, no one wounded. The
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03

- -
tive. Many sudden
deaths are caused
by it-heart dis
ease, pneumonia,
heart failure or
apoplexy are often
the result of kid
ney disease. IF
kidney trouble is
allowedtoa advance
Neutrality-suspicious.
al blood will af-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03
BreezU Paragraphs
From the Kicker
A Political Discussion That Came Near
Ending Ia Murder.

copyright. 1906 BY Eugene Parcells1
n N R. JIM HELLSO (who is our
M self wishes the Kicker to
deny in the most vigorous
language that he is thinking
Of resigning his position as postmaster
of this gulch. He dies now and then,
but he never resigns.
Mr.. Jim Hellso (who is ourself) paid
a short visit to Denver last week and
did not blow out the gas.
Mr.. Jim Hellso (who is ourself) blew
down the barrel Of a new shotgun on
exhibition at Kramer's the other day
1t wasn't loaded.
Mr.. Jim Hellso (who is ourself) in
forms us that alterations and improve
ments to the Hellso Opera House will
cost $4,000. One hundred pounds of
lead was dug out Of the ceiling last
week.
Mr. Jim Hellso (who is ourselG has
asked the Kicker to deny in thunder
Gus tones that he contemplates organ
lzing wild west show and taking the
road next summer in opposition to
Buffalo William. His show has been
right here in Giveadam Gulch for the
last eight years.
1t is quite true that the editor of
the Kicker and the governor Of the
territory met at Florence the other
day and had a long and confidential
talk, but there Is not grain of truth
in the statement that they played
poker for ten hours on a stretch and
that the result was bad for the gov
ernor. We and the governor were on
our dignity all the time. Had he sug-
gested poker we should have discour-
aged the idea.
Colonel Joe Sicily of the Big 4
ranch informs US that he felt and
counted ninety-eight distinct shocks
Of an earthquake last Sunday. We
have not the slightest hesitation liz
pronouncing Colonel Joe a liar. If
he was sober enough to feel or hear
anything it was one of his old mules
rolling on the grass.
Edward Jones and Peter Howard,
both of this town, met on the street
last Sunday and resumed a political
discussion, with the result that guns
were drawn and ten shots fired. No
one was killed, no one wounded. The
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03

At the last meeting of the common
council Alderman Adams offered a reso
luton that the name Giveadam Gulch
be changed to Crescent City. Such
names as Roost High, Last Stop. Angels
Rest and He'll Bent were substituted,
but all were voted down. and the al
derman finally withdrew lis nation
Giveadam Gulch it was and always
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03

We understand that certain mem
bers OF the only church choir in Give
adam Gulch object to our leading the
singing because we play poker, own
a race horse and a fighting dog and
take nip with the boys occasionally.
We don't suppose it is exactly accord
ing to the eternal fitness of things. but
until society has safely passed through
the chaotic state and can stand alone
we shall stick to our singing job and
back it up with two guns Meanwhile
we shall sing with ardor and with aS
much reverence as we can.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03

There is neither law nor ordinance
in this whole territory against speed
ing automobiles. They can skip along
at a rate of 100 miles an hour. On
the contrary, there is no law against
any citizen taking pop at a chauf-
feur with his gun if he feels so mind
ed, and he is pretty sure to feel that
way. If you own an auto and are
looking for paradise come this way
and get a free burial.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03

tack the vital organs, causing catarrh of
the bladder, or the kidneys themselves
break down and waste away cell by cell.
Bladder troubles almost always result
from arrangement of the kidneys and
a cure is obtained quickest by a proper
treatment of the kidneys. If you are feel
ing badly you can make no mistake by
taking DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-ROOt, the
great kidney, liver and bladder remedy.
It corrects inability to hold urine and
scalding pain III passing it, and over
comes that unpleasant necessity of being
compelled to 60 often through the day,
and to get up many times during the
night. The mild and the extraordinary
effect of Swamp-Root is soon realized.
It stands the highest for its wonderful
cures of the most distressing cases.
Swanp-Root is pleasant to take and is
sold by all druggists in ffty-cent and
one-dollar size bottles. You may have
sample bottle of this wonderful new dis
covery and book that tells all about it,
both sent free by mail. Address, DR.. Kill
mer & Co., Binghamton, II. Y. When
writing mention reading this generous
offer in this paper. Don't make any
mistake, but remember the name, Swamp
Root, DR.. Kilmer's Swamp Root, and the
address, Binghamton, n. Y, on every
bottle.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03
The Cause of Many
Sudden Deaths.

There is a disease prevailing III this
country most dangerous because so decep-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03

FOR SALE: Two registered Red
Polled bulls; one is 3 yrs old, other
yearling. For any further partl-
culars write, inquire or call on
Farmers phone,
M. G. WILLIAMS,
7tf POtosi, Wis
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03
MONEY TO LOAN.

Parties desiring to borrow money
on good realI estate security and
first-class rates can secure same by
calling on me. Office in the Baxter
block with the law firm of Brown q
Brennan. CHAs. NJ. KLARMAN,
9tf Lancaster Wis.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1906-11-03
TEN SHOTS FIRED

men stood and looked at each other in
establishment for a moment after the
firing and then each ran in the opposite
direction. Oh, yes; Arizona will be adj
mitted to the Union, when the robins
nest again!
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
Value OF American Railroads.

The 100000 miles Of main track OF
the railways OF the United States rep.
resent property to the extent Of $l6,-
000. 700, 900. or as much as the total
value OF all the property in the coun.
try In 1860. the year of Lincoln's cleo.
ton. Their income a. over &2,0OO,000..
900 a year is very nearly four times
the annual revenue of the United
States government. The number Of
men on their rolls Is 100000. an
army as great as the combined forces
that Oyama and Linevitch had in
Manchuria at the lime OF the peace
OF Portsmouth. The railroads are q
vast interest Anything which would
hamper them In their legitimate activ.
tiles would deal a hard blow TO every
important industry in the country
Leslie's Weekly.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
LONELY JOB ON THE FREIGHT.
Where the Brakeman Has a Dreary
Time at His Duty.

The woman who was given to drives
and auto trips into the country was
making confession, as she looked
eagerly at an oncoming freight train.
There's one thing | never neglect
to do" she said, when I'm out on the
country roads. and that is TO wave my
handkerchief to every freight brake
man | see.
Il suppose it's foolish of me- but II
seems as II those poor fellows had
awfully lonesome work, and as II their
bravery were not half appreciated.
There they stand or sit on top OF those
old cars for hours at time. with never
a soul to talk to, with no one to notice
II they should fall of, even. have
a lot Of admiration for them. Every
once in awhile they get killed and no.
body gives the tragedy a second
thought.
"On passenger train a brakeman
can hobnob with the men In the smo'S-
or. indulge In conversation with HELP
less old ladies and little children, and
get into touch with his kind but
there, on those freight trains a brake.
man must have dreary tim, OF Il.
They're always ready TO wave back TO
me, and they always act as II they
appreciated my salute, Sometimes
they yell a few words of greeting. as II
they were glad to pass the time OF day
with some one"
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
New southwestern Lire.

Nearly so miles OF grading has been
done on the st. Louis, Rocky Noun.
taind aclfic company. For more
than / OF this distance track has
been L. the greater part of which
has bee surfaced. The bridge over
the Red river is completed, and other
bridge construction has been started.
During the latter part OF September
shipments OF coal will begin from the
Koehler mine along the new Grow
Creek branch. which will be finished
by that time.
There are to be 200 coke ovens built
at this point. At Gardiner there is
now in operation a total of 1856 coke
ovens, producing at the rate of 100. 900
tons per annum. The present total
daily sutput OF coal from the various
mines is $500 tons. This will be in.
creased by 1000 tons daily when the
Koehlet mine is opened.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
LAYING OF RAILS is seouN.
Nav Pacific Coast Extension Is TAX
ing Shape.

The Chicago, Milwaukee & St Paul
road has begun the laying of steel
on its new Pacific coast extension.
The rails are to be laid from Glen
ham. point on the Aberdeen and
Evarts division. in South Dakota, to
Flora, on the Missouri river. ~ miles
above Evarts. from where the coast
line will proceed. The grading on this
stretch is already completed. and the
construction work will be pushed as
rapidly as possible.
So far the st. Paul people have e.
perlenced little difficulty in securing
enough laborers to carry on the work
as planned, and the management Is
congratulating itself upon this fact.
A high official of the company ex-
pressed the belief that the publicity
given to the building OF the extension
is In a large measure responsible for
this happy state of affairs.
I'VE have had little difficulty in Sc
curing workmen to carry out our
plans" said a high official OF the st.
Paul road. Il attribute this to the
fact that much publicity has been
given to our plans. and those who
want work know that we have 1t to
offer. We have not given orders to
hire any particular number OF men.
Our instructions are to employ all that
can be secured"
While the actual laying of steel on
the eastern end of the extension has
begun. and the plans for the line west
of the Bitter Root mountains are al.
ready completed. nothing is known OF
the route across Montana farther west
than Butte. Omcials declare that II 2
Montana route between Butte and the
crossing OF the Bitter Root mountains
is not yet decided.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
unenYIous Notorletv.

In the early part OF the last cen.
fury firm of contractors named Jer-
ry Brothers carried on business In
Liverpool England. and earned an
unpleasant no;oriety by putting up
rapidly-built, SNOWY. but ill-construct.
ed houses, so that their name event
ually became general for such build
ers and such work in all parts of the
world.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03

The history Oh the wedding ring Is
hard to trace. but our Puritan ances
.ors considered 1t a relic OF heather
lsm-which very likely 1t Island
abolished it. They would no more
have a wedding ring around than they
would have old women riding on
broomsticks and bewitching the cows.
But the Puritaus are dead and the
wedding ring survives out of mys-
.erious past.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
Nav Ertenslon Is completed.

The Burlington-Great Northern eK-
tension to Ashland, Wis, has been
completed. and a mixed service is now
being maintained. Full operations
viii not be started for at least q
month. This extension opens the Bur
lington's connection with Lake Supe-
rior, and opens a new route for Ne
braEka grain TO ths Atlantic seaboard.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
Rural Simplicity.

The author Of "Reminiscences OF q
Country Politician" asked a laborer
in an English village. about 30 years
ago how old he was. 81 be just the
same age as the queen" he said ut
be either a fortnight older or fort
night younger; don't rightly know
which. And don't suppose her
knows. either. Youths Companion.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
Novel Invention ls Out.

A. NJ Cleland. general passenger
agent OF the Northern Pacific, has per
fected a novelty for the use OF women
travellers on sleeping cars which is
pleasing the passengers. Il is tough
paper bag, with ''puckerins strings"
for holding hats. gloves. wells and
other light articles OF wear which are
not IN use on the car. The bag can be
hung on one OF the coat hooks and be
entirely out of the way.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03

There is no stigma attached to the
Tact that one or ones relative is an
inmate in home for the aged in Den.
mark. None are admitted except
those who have led decent, sober
lives, and this gives the inmates an
Acknowledged standing which Is a
great source of qualification to the
honest poor.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03

Humility does not consist in telling
our faults, but in bearing to be told
of them; in hearing them patiently.
and even thankfully; in correcting
ourselves when told; in not hating
those who tell US Of them.-Scottish
American.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
SALT LAKE & Los ANGELES RAJ
WAY TIME TABLE.
A.. Enx.& 49,. ~ anna
THE LAGOON ROAD"
Salt Lake and ogden Railway.
In Effect MAY

Time Table in Effect May 30, 1908.
Salt L0ke-Leave 600, $500. 1900
a. m; 900, 400, 600, 1900. $500 D. m.
First six trains run through to Kays-
vile.
Extra Lagoon to Kaysvlle, 1000 p.
m, SUNDAY, $3.50 p. MI
Lagoon-Leave 700. 1000. 1900 a.
m; S:0O,5:OO. 700. 300, 1890 p. IN.
tSunday. $500
Sundays and holidays special through
trains to Lagoon nj $500 and 100 D. m.
SIMON BAMBERGER,
President and General Manager
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
Wltty Saying Under Difficulties,

A classical British campaign story
Is the following: A young tory heir
to dukedom was being pelted with
rotten eggs while making political
speech. Wiping the mess from his
face, he said: "Ah. have always said
that the arguments OF my opponents
were unsound."
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
Woman Diamond Agent.

Miss Grace NJ. Varcoe, OF New
York. has crossed the ocean 81 times
as the agent of an English diamond
merchant. On each trip she has had
from sl5O0OO to 100000 worth of the
stones with her.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
A Child,s Question

A little girl of four was riding past
a cemstery with her mother. Looking
up. she said
Mamma, how long is It after taey
bury a person before the gravestones
come up?"-Royal Magazine.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
THE KELLEY CURE.
prunkenness Cured.

A positive and permanent cure tos
afunkenness and the opium diseased
There IL no publicity, no sickness. La
dfea treated as privately Al At theli
own hopes. The Kelley Institute tyf
W. 90. Ienlple. Salt Lake City, UtAA
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
Father OF History.

Herodotus. the father of history"
declares that the inhabitants of the
lake dwellings" Of Switzerland fed
their horses and cattle on fish.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
Why plsllIuslon her1

Don't tell your intended that she Is
an angel unless you can keep up the
bluff after you are married.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1906-10-03
THE RERRuM PORTLAND CEMENT
STONE CO.

CONCRETE BUILDING ROCK MAN
UFAcTuRERS.
SOLE AGENTS FOR
Concrete Block Machines. Want &c
establish a plant in every city. tow
and village in Utah.
Block machines from 500 upward
Start a small plant and become In.
dependent.
Correspondence solicited,
p. o. Box 1871, Salt Lake City.
Ind Phone 3S06.7.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1906-06-14

were scared silly at the supernatural
power pa seemed to have. The squaws
seemed to get more electricity than the
buck Indians, cause pa squeezed hard
er, and the way they danced and cut
up didoes would make you think they
had been drinking. Finally pa touched
them all with his magic wand, and
then they prepared a feast and cele-
brated their engagement to go with the
circus, and we packed up and got
ready to go to a cattle round up the
next day at a ranch outside the Indian
reservation, where pa was to engage
some cowboys for the show. AS we
left the headquarters on the reserva-
ton the next morning all the Indians
went with us for few miles, cheering
us, and pa waved his hands to them.
and said, bless you, me children" and
looked SO wise, and so good, and great
that l was proud of him. The squaws
threw kisses at pa, and when we had
left them. and had got out Of sight, pa
said, Those Indians will give the
squaws a walloping when they get
back to camp, but who can blame them
for falling in love with the great faith
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1906-06-14

around and put his foot on the neck
of each Indian, in token of his abso-
lutte mastery over them, and then he
babe them arise, and he told them he
had only done these things to show
therl Che power of the great father
over his children, and now he would
reveal to them his object in coming
amongst them, and that was to engage
20 Of the best Indians, and 20 of the
best squaws, to. join our great show.
at an enormous salary, and be ready
in two weeks to take the road. The
Indians were delighted, and began to
quarrel about who should go with the
show, and to quiet them pa said he
wanted to shake hands with all Of
them, and they lined up, and pa took
the strongest wire attached to the bat
terry in his pistol pocket, and let it
run up under his coat and down his
sleeve, into his right hand, and that
was the way he shook hands with
them. l thought would die laughing.
Pa took position, like president at
New Years reception. and shook
hands with the tribe one at time.
The old chief came first, and pa
grasped his hand tight, and the chief
stood on his toes and his knees
knocked together, his teeth chartered,
and he danced can can while pa held
on to his hand and squeezed, but he
finally let go and the chief wiped his
hand on dog, and the dog got some
of the electricity and XII yied to beat
the band. Then pa shook hands with
everybody, and they all went through
the same kind of performance, and
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1906-06-14
There ls no Rochelle Salts, AIuns
LImeor Ammonia In food made with
Calumet
Baking
Powder
Health
Economy.
GOLF YARN BY LoNoWoRTH
And a Kansas Story in Return by an
Enthusiast at the
Game.
Health
Economy.

Nicholas LOngworth, of Ohio, is a.
golf enthusiast who plays a good game,
and Victor Murdoch, of Kansas, golf,
enthusiast who plays very indiffer-'
ent game, when swapping stories in
the house cloakroom the other day,
says the Washington correspondent of
the Kansas City Times.
1.-The most remarkable golfer l ever
knew" said Representative Longworth,
was man out in Cincinnati, who had
a passion for the game, but who COM
plicated that fervor with an appetite
for Scotch highballs that was the won
der of Ohio.
His theory was that there should
be a drink server on every tee, and
he worked it by means of an army of
caddies. One afternoon he came in
and announced that he had renowned
the game.
What's the matter, Jim?' said q
friend
oh he said, YEARLY, it's no USE
] give it up. Whenever l can see the
bail 1 can't hit it; and whenever 1
can hit it l can't see it,
Mr.. Murdoch told this one:
"Out in my town Judge Dale, of the
district bench, is about the best golfer
in our club. One day he had a case
on trial in which several small boys
had been subpoenaed as witnesses. Adj
dressing bright youth of about IL
summers, Judge Dale solemnly in
0Cired: NV how do Won understand
the nature of ap oath?'
"'Oh, yes. SIR quickly replied the
youth. I often caddied for you, SIR +"
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1906-06-14
CHANCE FOR HOMESEEKERS.
Lands of the Crow Indian Agency to be
Thrown Open to Settlement
in July.

Omaha, Neb. The government
has made all arrangements for the reg
istration for the lands of the Crow
Agency, which will be drawn July at
Billings. The registration dates are
June IA to % at Sheridan and Billings
and the Burlington has offered excep-
tionally low rates to those wishing to
take chance in Uncle Sans big lot
terry. The rates from all Burlington
stations will be one fare for the round
trip, with a maximum of 500, which
will make the rate from Omaha, Kan
sas City and Denver much less than
a fare for the round trip. From all
points east of the Missouri river and
from Kanas and the southwest the
rate. with a minimum of $40. The
tickets will be sold June 10 to 26 in
elusive, with return limit till July 10.
All lodging places will be listed and
committees at each town will meet the
excursionists
The mayor of Billings has wired the
Burlington that everything will be
" IdhC CdIC VI l1C lOSioIi dbAOli
crowd, and he will take personal
charge of the police force. Tents will
he laid out in the streets with board
floors. Booths will all be connected
done to take care of the registration
arrangements made. The mayor says
that Billings will be able to take care
of 10000 people at any time.
Sheridan has also advised the Bur.
lington that complete arrangements
are being made to take care of the
crowds for registration. Every avail
able room will be arranged for, while
necessary cots and bedding tents will
be secured from Fort Mackenzie 70
accommodate a small army. Fins
camping grounds will be prepared
Hotels and eating houses are stock
ing up and will be prepared to take
care of all that come. The police force
is taking measures to eliminate all IN
desirable elements, such as thugs and
gamblers. The Chamber of Commerce
and city council are taking vigorous
measures to insure registration visit
ors safe and comfortable time at
Sheridan.