davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1906-01-10
County Auditor Power.

This popular county official is now
out on his usual rounds engaged in re-
ceiving the tax returns for this year.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1906-01-10

J.. & M Paint. Lead and Zinc. Wears
10 or 15 years. Saves paint bills. l.. g.
M. costs about $1.20 per gallon. w. l..
Boyd, Laurens, S. c. H--13t.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1906-01-10
Her UnaeemIy Pervor.,,v

Mrs. Hunks-I wish you wouldn't be
30 positive. There are two sides to
every question. Old Hunks with a
rOar)-Well, that's no reason why you
should always be on The wrong side!-
Chicago Tribune.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1906-01-10
Same Old story.

Does he pay his alimony promptly?"
NO; he has to be urged and threat.
encd every payday, but, then, OF
course, got used to that when we
were living togetber"- Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1906-01-10

Our entire stock to be thrown upon
the market! Watch for date. Red
Iron Racket.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1906-01-10

Arctic explorers say the aurora pro
duces an agreeable, prickly, stimulat
ing sensation.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1906-01-10

Bodily pain loses its terror if you've
a, bottle of DIR. Thomas Electric Oil in
the house. Instant relief in cases of
burns cuts, sprains, accident of any
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1906-01-10

l.. & M. Paint cost only $1.20 gal
Ion. Seven gallons paints moderate
size house. Sold by w, j.. Boyd, Lau-
rens, S. G., ID 19t.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1906-01-10

Women love a clear, healthy com
pleXion. Pure blood makes it. Burdock
Blood Bitters makes pure blood.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
Got There just the Same.

When Kentucky girl concludes to get
married It is useless to put obstacles in her
path. It may take her a long time to
make up her mind, but once having de-
cidei upon matrimony the more difficulty
she experiences The more determined she
becomes.
Miss Letta Marshall OF Fordsvile KY,
and Herbert Martin of Suamico WIS.,
crossed the Ohio river and tried to be mar
ried at Cannelton, Ind, but the license
clerk thought the bride looked too young.
They had the same experience az Evans
Vile. They gave up Indiana and went to
Menomnee Mich, where the police got
them They made their escape and took
the train, where a detective placed them
under arrest He was polite about 1t, but
told them they would have to come to Chi
cago with him.
The train stopped at a water tank and
the elopers nsd from the car into the night
and got away from the detective entirely.
They wandered around for hours before
they found the friendly shelter of farm
house, and then Mr.. Martin had to sleep
in the barn.
In the morning they made their way to
Menominee. lodging the officers by taking
different seats in the car A tender-hearted
license clerk at Menominee gave them the
necessary permit and they were married.
after more adventures than clippers ever
had before.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

calamity had not befallen the community.
Some such funds are now being spent and
hundreds of teams are engaged in the
labor OF clearing roadways through the
clogged streets.
But any work accomplished by this
means is pitifully small when the mag
nitude of the labor is considered. Tho
next generation might still find San Fran
cisco engaged In housecleaning If hand
and horse were the only means at call.
The railway and the power shovel are the
agencies that will clear the ground for
the new city.
Already several miles OF such railways
gridiron the burned district. The Ocean
Shore has laid track from a junction
with the rails OF the Southern Pacific at
Twenty-fourth and Capp streets, down
Capp to Fifteenth, along Fifteenth 10
Howard. down Howard to Steuart. along
stsuart TO Market and down Market to
q junction with the Belt Line on East
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
Hnndcnred Girls.

Claude Alexander OF Chicago has some
new work He operates with a pair Of
handouts, and pretty girls with an aroused
curiosity are his victims. He called on
Miss Clara Hansen, and after an atmos-
phere Of good fellowship had been created
he yanked out his handouts and showed
her how easy he could lock them on his
wrists and wriggle out of them.
1T am an expert" he explained. You
lock them on me-"
Miss Hansen gggled and locked the
bracelets. Alexander soon pulled his hands
through.
'You can do II, too, II you have pa
tience," he smilingly explained to the girl
There was no one I'm the house. and the
parlor lights were none too vigorous. Alex
ander clasped the steel bands on Miss Han
sens dainty wrists. She tried to pull her
hands out, but the handouts were stubborn.
Then Alexander told her she must be kissed
or they would never come of. Before she
could reply he kissed her a score OF times.
He was arrested for assault and when
a policeman clapped another pair OF steel
bands on him he could not get out Of them.
He is in a cell, and his funny handouts
are IN the hands of the police, held for evil
dence.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

out would have been a revelation to Pa
Rourke's careful warriors.
The big chicken dinner spread under the
trees welcomed every picnicker with the
natural exception of the treasurer, who
was dispatched to dig bait for possible MINI
rods in the afternoon. P. z. Her. who was
casual visitor to the Mills, was urged to
remain for the feast and was elected mayor
of Dream City by reclamation Later n
the Gay Bert Danforth laid the corner stone
of Dream City with pie plate, and the
pier sureseekers staked out claims for choice
town lots.
The spirit OF the fisherman 1ourished in
the afternoon and late corners were dis
appointed in their search for fishing tackle.
T. D. Ettlnger, manager of the clothing
department, was one of the belated en-
thusasts and he had to spend most of the
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
writes Up His own wedding.

THE BRIDE" says the Greer (Ckl.l Re
publican. lis a charming young lady, the
daughter OF aristroeatic southern ancestry.
Until recently she was accredited with
possessing excellent judgment, but when
her prospective marriage was announced
those who knew us perhaps began TO won
der. II is patent that she is exceptionally
courageous. The bridegroom purports to
be an editor He is not a politician, fnan-
cier. society leader nor pillar in the church.
In fact, he is not much Of anything i'm
portant He Is no genius and has not
mounted the ladder Of fame so high that
he is at all isolated from his fellow men.
He IL kept too busy endeavoring 20 keep
out OF the red at the bank to have much
time for dreaming OF future greatness.
Congratulations for him are at this time
emphatically in order"
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
Task of Removing Debris at San Francisco

street, owned by the state. by which the
northern part Of the city will be reached.
It is the purpose, of this company to build
bUnkers for the temporary storage of
debris while awaiting the movement Of
trains at several points. These bunkers
are designed to hold 500 cubic yards and
will be filled by cable carriers where
convenient, and by dump carts. AS the
work progresses, spur tracks will be run
here and there from the main line and
before the undertaking has come TO a
term San Francisco will be network OF
rails.
. Where will all this debris go? Into the
unreelaimod tide lands at the north and
south ends OF the city, and wherever there
Is dumping ground. And IL will be the
best hllinE that could be provided-heavy
enough to sink through the ooze to hard
pan. forming a foundation upon which
the most substantial structures may be
srSOted.-SAn Francisco Bunetin-
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

afternoon hunting turtles with club
The buyers about to junket through Eu-
rope were allowed to stay an hour in
the swings to become Injured to the dis
quieting rock Of the waves. The treasurer
did the swinging.
The late afternoon was devoted to races.
There were many entries and many events.
with prizes for every race but the mill
race. The browning skit was the bare
back horse race. Phil Aarons found an
old graduate from a milk wagon that had
been abandoned and coaxed the charger
into galvanized gallop In his early
youth according to this buyers proud ad-
mission Mr.. Aarons studied to be a jockey,
but his pitiful equestrian performance led
to the belief that he missed his diploma
by several city blocks. He wore a jockey
card number. 49," on his back. and he ran
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

ers, who will shortly sail for Paris to buy
goods for the new Brandeis store. The
second design was to have the Brandeis
crowd the first party to give Dream City
a rousing christening.
The boss of all Brandeis picnics is the
treasurer. Arrangements are made for
the picnic by committee, but the actual
labor on the big day falls solely to the
treasurer, who fails to shirk because he
is financially responsible. For obvious
reasons the same treasurer never accepts
the Office twice and the honor is con-
ferred each year upon a department man
ager who is new in the employ Of the
house This year the mantle of distress
fell upon Horace Brenizer, buyer for the
carpet and drapery departments.
The brilliant cavalcade left the store
shortly after Z o'clock Sunday morning
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

with gaudy band wagon and two large
oarryalls. The crowd posed for a picture
in front of the new Brandeis building,
while the treasurer busted off the seats
of the carryalls. The buyers destined for
the European tour were asked to ride in
the band wagon along with the colored
band and the overworked bugler, so they
might become accustomed to the reception
awaiting them in Paris.
The overland pilgrimage to sarpy Mills
was frightened by many and strange di-
versions. The treasurer distributed sand
witches to the picknickers en- route. The
rousiny Brandeis yell, which saw birth in
the Brandeis minstrel show last fail, was
employed every few reds. When Sarpy Mills
was reached Phil Aarons. with bonnet
trimmed with century plants led the grand
march to the Mailender farmhouse and
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
wouldn't Scare.

The son of a wealthy New York family
came home intoxicated quite frequently.
His parents tried to break him of his in
temperate habits, but without any re-
suits.
Firally a friend Of the father volunteered
his assistance
The next time the young fellow came
home in helpless state the friend carried
him to dark room provided with coffin
and dull Illuminating flames. Then he
placed him in the coffin and sat beside
II to await his awaking.
After a sleep of eight or nine hours
the sleeper awoke, sat up in the coffin and
looked about him. Seeing the dim figure
of the watcher, he inquired where he was.
In a deep, solemn voice came the answer
that he was now in the lands of the lower
region. The young fellow Immediately
said: well, you've been here before me.
Can you tell me where can get a drink p
New York Times.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

a very bad fourth in race Of four entries
His claim to the judges that his horse
didn't realize there was a race until It was
all over was disregarded. After the races
the treasurer rubbed down the horses and
the crowd repaired to the supper table
A brief but heavy shower deluged the
Mills at $50 O'Clock, just as the picnickers
had finished supper and the carryalls were
ready to start. 1t came at an unfortunate
time for the treasurer, who was Just site
ting down to his first meal Of the day.
He stuck it out at the table until the rain
was over and had just time to wiring the
water out of his derby hat and catch the
back step of the last carryall as it pulled
away.
The picnic will be repeated next year
on even a larger scale than this year
The treasurer will be all right in a week.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
StnRe Fright.

Very few persons acquit themselves nobly
In their first speech At a wedding feast
recently the bridegroom was called upon, as
usual, TO respond to the given toast, in
spite of the fact that he had previously
pleaded to be excused.
Blushing TO the roots of his hair, he rose
to his feet, He intended TO imply that he
was unprepared for speechmaking. but he
unfortunately placed his hand upon the
BRIDES shoulder, and. looking down at her
as he stammered out his opening and con-
Guiding words:
"This-er-thing has been forced upon
Ledger
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
"our Lady of the Cannon"

Germany's greatest heiress. Miss Antoin-
cite Bertha Krupp, virtually owner Of the
gigantic ordnance works at Essen, sets an
example which some American heiresses
might profitably emulate. She Is engaged
to a countryman, Gustav Won Behlen und
Halbach, secretary of the Prussian lega-
ton at the vatican. The bride-to-be is 20
years of age, a modest ,kind-hearted, UNI
assuming young woman. She practically
owns the entire City of Essen, where the
Krupp works are situated, its 100, 900 inhabi-
tants being almost as much her subjects as
though she were queen in fact. queen
Krupp'' is one Of the titles given her by
her employees, while she is known from
one end OF Germany to the other by her
other title a title which appeals to the
whole nation-"Our Lady OF the Cannon"
The income of Miss Krupp, who inherited
the works on the death of her father in
November, 1902, is steadily increasing and
will probably continue to increase year by
year until the advent of universal peace.
In 1905 she received a sum approximating
100000 from her possessions, and this
amount is likely to be exceeded this year.
When Miss Krupps father died his wealth
was established at $4,000 600. OF which he
left about s1O0OOO,0OO to Bertha, represent
ing the value of the Essen works and their
supplementary properties. His second
daughter, Barbara, and his widow, were
we'll provided for from other sources.
AS a consequence of her inherlting the
main Krupp estate, the City of Essen be-
came virtually Miss Krupps private prop
erty In that city alone she has 40,0Q0 work
men toiling for her. and with the en-
ployos Of the large number of other Krupp
holdings it is estimated that Miss Krupp
has nearly $4,000 persons dependent upon
her for living. when the families Of the
workers are taken into account
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
Kearney Normal First Graduating Class

for it's work last year. The attendance
has, been more than sufficient to justify
its establishment, and its success has been
all that was promised for it by its advo-
Gates. At the close of May IT graduated
its first class of teachers, a picture of
which is herewith presented. The train
ers of 1907 an interesting aggregation
of teachers who are taking a special course
that will enable them to better perform
their duties in the school room and render
more efficient service to the public.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

has made provisions that seem to those
not accustomed to them prodigal.
Every effort has been made to keep the
standard of common schools at the very
highest. and this naturally means that
only the best of teaching talent is en-
ployed. The growth in this line made nee
essary the equipment of a second normal
school, for the express training of the
teachers, and 1t was located at Kearney.
The last general assembly Of Nebraska
provided for this school, and it was opened
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

energy was expended at
sarpy Mills last Sunday to dig
a big piece of the Panama canal.
There is nothing like a Bran
- aeis stag picnic-except the last
one or the next one. Like the Brandeis
store, 1t has an atmosphere all its own,
and the employees conduct 1t as every
thing is conducted in the store-with q
view to making it big thing on a big
scale. There were about seventy-hve en-
ergetic men connected with the Brandeis
store who put in twelve hours Of strenu-
Gus and highly original excitement at this
annual outing.
The picnic had a twofold purpose this
year The first was TO give a farewell
entertainment to Messrs w. C.. Mcknight,
B. L. Danforth, Phil Aarons e. Canister
and e. A. Bessire, the FIVE Brandeis buy
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
Tersely Told Tales Both Grim and Gay

at the check, pushed it back to the woman
again.
I can't cash It, madam he said. 1T
isn't filed in
There is my husbands signature on it,
the woman said excitedly
" Yes, l know admitted the teller, but
there is no amount
"'Oh, never mind that, said the woman,
impatiently. Give me what there is
Boston Post.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
His Candidate.

District Attorney Jerome tells of a certain
citizen whom he encountered on the last
presidenNal election day. Conversation was
somewhat hampered by the fact that the
citizens vocabulary was limited to about
eighty-five words. who" and what
were evidently one to him as yet, but he
made himself clear on one point.
How long have you been in this coun-
try?" he was asked.
"Ah bane Won MONTH" he answered.
Are you going to voter
yah"
Whom are you going to vote for?'
'"Ah bane goin' to vote for tan dollars"
was the self-satisfled response.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

have always had a high rank both as to
equipment and results, and the people Of
the state have been more than liberal in
their endowment and support. From the
very beginning, when the child enters the
kindergarten, to the final degree possible
to be conferred by the university, the state
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

conducted greeting that rocked the foun-
dations Of the old mill. Mrs. Maiien1er
was presented with a handsome shopping
bag and Grandma" received silk UNI
brella. Phil Aarons had a carefully pre-
pared speech OF presentation but managed
to deliver only half Of 1t. At odd times
during the day he would recall forgotten
fragments of his preachment and seek re-
enforcement of the band while he intoned
paragraphs of delayed greeting to the host
esses.
The treasurer who had been up nearly
all the preceding night making fudge, laid
out two base ball diamonds on the Sarpy
Mills campus and carried bats and water
until the games started. There was dearth
of umpires, inasmuch as a new umpire
rarely outlasted more than one decision.
The hit and run game" that was carried
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
Copied his Name.

A gentleman travelling in Europe engaged
the services OF coulter. Arriving at an
inn in Austria the traveller asked his serv-
ant 70 enter his name in accordance with
the police regulations Of that country. The
man replied that he had already anticipated
the order and registered him as an Amer
lean gentleman of means. But how did
you write my name?" asked the master.
Il can't exactly pronounce it, but I copied
II carefully from your portmaAteau, sir ="
but It is not there" was the reply.
Bring me the book" The register was
brought and revealed. instead Of very
plain English name OF two syllables, the
followed potentous entry: Monsieur
Warranted Solid Leather"-Chicago Inter
Ocean
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

miles of streets before the city beautiful
can take shape.
1t is estimated by competent men that
this means the handling of l5,O0o,O00
cubic yards OF material and the time as
signed for it's accomplishment is one year.
It's cost no man can figure. Each plot
of ground presents a separate problem.
and the owner must make his terms with
the agency he employs. AS for the city.
Il will have little OF this burden TO bear.
The railroads and the great contracting
firms that have undertaken the main work
have agreed to clear the streets and sido-
walks free of charge 10 the municipality
What city funds are expended will pass
through the hands OF the board OF works
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

Champ Clark thinks that since the prae-
tice OF duelling was given over in this
country men are not so careful in their
observations concerning others as they
were in ''the old days"
why" says Mr.. Clark. there was an
incident In Indiana not long ago which
goes to show the difference. In a case be-
ing tried there In a court the two law
yers opposing became engaged in a heated
controversy. which resulted In one yelling
at the other. You are a liar!'
what do you think the other lawyer
did9 why. in voice ringing with passion.
he replied. Sir. do you mean that per-
sonallyT' "-Llppincotts Magazine.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
He Could Not Cash 1t.

'"This somewhat grasping spirit" said
Senator Burrows in the course OF recent
argument. reminds me OF woman who
dropped in the other day at a certain bank.
"Going to the paying teller's window. she
opened her pocketbook. took out check,
ana pushed It under the brass grating.
"'cash this. please she said.
'But the paying teller, after one glance
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

has stood at the very
front from the start in the mat
ter of supporting and encourag-
ing education among it's citizens.
The public schools of the state
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
GenernI Grant,a Joke.

gineer Of New Orleans, tells how
General U. s. Grant made his
IkEAl father Chaplain Miller swear
49, 1t was one of the chaplain's
duties to receive and distribute the mail to
General Grants stan. Whenever the mail
was late he was greatly annoyed by ques-
lions as to the cause of the delay, time Of
probable arrival, etc. On one occasion,
when the post was unusually late, the
chaplain, tfor fear of losing his temper.
attached the following notice to the door
OF his tent:
1.-THE chaplain does not know when the
mail will arrive"
Shortly afterwards General Grant, pass
= ing the chaplain's quarters. noticed The
sign. He paused before it a moment ar:
then walked slowly his way Coming
out Of his tent a few moments later
Chaplain Miller was Mortified to read:
1.-THE chaplain does not know when the
mail will arrive, and he doesn't give a
damn. "-Harper's Weekly.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
Curious and Romantic Capers of Cupid

his hands over her face. The hand inspecs
ton evidently was satisfactory, as shortly
afterward he asked her to be his wife.
The bride says her husbands affliction
appealed to her sympathy. And, besides"
she continued. II love him for his gentle-
ness and goodness. l realize that 1 must
be the eyes for both Of us, and realized the
responsibilities before gave my answer"
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10

HE immediate task ahead of San
Francisco is housecleaning-no
small job when It is remembered
that the debris must be removed
from 400 blocks and hundreds OF
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
Unexpected.

Captain Mark Casio was being congratu-
lated on his gift of $500 from the Carnegie
hero fund for bravery in the wreck OF the
Cherokee.
1.-THE gift was unexpected" said Captain
Caste. with a modest smile. 1T was as un-
expected, though by no means as unplels-
ant as the retort that a wife made 20 her
husband when he came home at o'clock
in the morning.
THE man came home very quietly. In
fact he took of his shoes on the front door
step. Then he unlocked the door ard went
cautiously and slowly upstairs on tlptoe.
holding his breath
But light was streaming through the
keyhole of the door Of the bedroom. With
a sigh he paused. Then he opened the door
and entered.
His wife stood by the bureau, fully
dressed.
''I didn't expect you'd be sitting up for
me. my dear. he said.
A." I haven't been, she said. I just came
in myself. New York Tribune.
Omaha daily bee., 1906-06-10
BecaITned.


There is a concert singer in the west
whose voice is not only of great sweetness
and compass. but OF such extraordinary
power that no orchestra ever browns its
tones.
Now. the husband Of this singer fire.
quently acts as her conductor, and he Is
ever anxious to impress upon the public the
fact OF the great power of his wife's voice.
On one occasion the woman was rehearsing
for a concert to be given in large hall, In
one of her songs she was TO be accompanied
by a trumpet obligato. Although the per-
former. I'M obedience to instructions from
the conductor. blew with all his might and
main. yet his best efforts were invariably
met with a call Of Louder. lOuder!" from
the Unsuitable leader.
Finally the performer rested his instru-
ment on his knee and. surveying the leader
with ever evidence Of indignation on his
purple face, broke out with:
Louder and louder Is fiery easy 10 say,
but we're is de yindr'-Harper's Weekly.