davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
LODGE DIRECTORY.
Masonic.

Masonic.
TRIO LODGE, NO 81, A. F. & A. M
n Meets in stated communication
Nv on the first Thursday of each
- * month. a. w. Gillespie, w. M /;
~ William B. Petit. secretary.
ROCK ISLAND COUNCIL. NO. 90. r. &
S. M.-Meets in stated communica-
ton on the third Wednesday OF each
month. III. NJ Briggs, Il. L M; l.. Q.
Daugherty, secretary.
ROCK ISLAND COMMANDERY, No. Is,
K. T.-Meets in stated conclave on
the second Monday of each month.
H. A. J. Mcdonald, Z. c.; r. G. Willer-
ton, recorder.
ROCK ISLAND CHAPTER, NO. 269. o.
F.. S.-Regular meeting second We'd
nesday of each month. Helena War
necke, w. M; Vashta Bollman, secre-
tary.
MASONIC BOARD OF CONTROL-H.
ID. Mack, president; Il. Il. Myers, Sec
rotary.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
AUCTIONEER.

O~O~O~O~~~~~O~-~-~~o~~~~~~~
e. l.. SHEPPARD, Moline, Ill; general
auctioneering; farm sales a speciality.
Call for dates at room T. Metropolitan
building, Moline, or Port Byron State
bank, at residence. Illirois City
New phone, also old phone II. Sax.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
CONTRACTORS AND BUILDERS.


JOHN VOLK & CO.-Contractors and
doors blinds and mouldings. Dealers
in plate window an dart glass. Of
fees and factory, S1i to 329 Eigh-
teenth street
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
INSURANCE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~
on dwellings and house
hold furniture n specially. G.. r.
Chamberlin.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
Rock Island & Peoria Division.

J. daily; x, daily except Sunday.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

My heart and hand another claimed,
His plea had come too late.
It's ever thus with people without pluck
or vim.
Take Rocky Mountain Tea; don't get
left again.
It. II. Thomas pharmacy.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
HOTELS AND RESORTS.

LAS VEGAS HOT SPRINGS-Located
6.767 feet above the sea. All years
round resort A perfect place for
rest. For particulars. address DR..
Daniel S. Perkins, medical director,
LAS Vegas. N. NJ.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
Sale of Real Estatc.

BY virtue of an order and decree Of
the county court of Rock Island county
Illinois. made on the petition of the un-
dcrsigned, Frank w. lie Quatte. admin
tStrator of the estate of Mcttic lie
Quatte. deceased, for leave to sell the
real estate of said deceased. at the No
Vember term. a. d. 1906, of said court
to-wit: on the goth day of November
1906, ] shall on the 10Th day of Deem
Der, next, between the hours Of 10
O'Clock in the forenoon and o'clock in
the afternoon of said day. to-wit. at
the hour of o'clock in the afternoon
of said day. sell at public sale. at the
east door of the court house, i'm the city
of Rock Island, in said county. the real
estate described as follows. to-wit:
The southeast quarter co of the
southeast quarter CD, and also the
northwest quarter 90 of the south
east quarter %, all in section thirty
four (34, in township sixteen 90,
north of range five (5) west of the 4th
principal meridian. in Rock Island coun-
ty, Illinois, on the following terms to-
wit: For cash in hand.
Dated this Goth day of November, A.
ID. 1906.
FRANK w. LIE QUATTE,
Administrator of the Estate of Mettie
lie Quatte, deceased.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
c. M. & ST. p. Excursion Rates.

Homeseekers' tickets on sale the
first and third Tuesday in each month
to points in Iowa. Minnesota, North
and South Dakota and to other home
seekers territory. For further infor-
nation phone or call at any G. M. &
ST. p. Office.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
Art DECORATION.

e SON-Artistic interior
decoration Finest line of late papers
carried and skilled workmen EN- plov-
ed. MODERATE prices. ar Seven
teenth street
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR RENT-A parlor bedroom, with
use of parlor; nicely furnished. In
quire at 1412h Third avenue.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR RENT-Refined couple have nice
ly furnished rooms, modern convent
ences; housekeeping privileges in
laundry and Kitchen; will rent to
married couple or ladies; fine loca-
ton; references exchanged. Address
"A. c." care Argus.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
PATENTS.

PATENT AND TRADE MARK office,
room II, Mitchell & Lynde building,
Rock Island. James F. Murphy, as
sociate. branch of Moore & Co., pat
ent attorneys, Washington, ID. c., and
Chicago. Ill.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR SALE+Lot 4Ox15O feet, CENTRAL,
located, on paved street. For partic
ulars address Box 267, city.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
Trains.

CHICAGO. MILWAUKEE, e. ST. PAUL
Railway-D., r. l. 81 N. w. passenger
station at foot of Seventeenth street. s.
b. STODDARD, Agent i. i. Hinrichs.
commercial agent, 3OS Brady street
Davenport
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
s6.7o CHICAGO and Return.

From Dec. 1 to 5. inclusive. the Rock
Island will sell round trip tickets to
Chicago at rate of 500, account of
International Stock show. Return linn
it, Dec. 10.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
EXPRESS, STORAGE, nus AND CAB.

ROBES TRANSFER COMPANY-120
West Seventeenth street. Old phone
1887; new phone 515S. New storag
building Express. baggage. bus and
cab calls answered day or night.
RELIABLE STORAGE-On first floor;
also manufacturer of awnings. tents,
wagon covers, etc. Tents for rent
B. Roessler & CO., 209 Fifteenth
street, opposite the court house, Rock
Island.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

VILLA DE CHANTAL-A home school
conducted for girls by the Sisters of
the Visitation. Rudimentary and
higher branches and all polite accom-
plishments taught. Twentieth street
and Fifteenth avenue. Rock Island.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR RENT-A furnished room. with
all modern improvements. at PIT Fiji
teenth street, opposite court house.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR RENT-A 1O-room brick modern
house at HOS First avenue. Inquire
of Beardsley * Bailey.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
FOR RENT-HOUSES.

FOR RENT-SiX-room modern house at
1916 Fourteenth street. Inquire at
same number.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

EWERT & RICHTER-Express and
Storage company, having uneouaIed
facilities for moving, storing, packing
and shipping household goods. and
can quote reduced freight rates to
Pacific coast and other points. Write
CALL Office and warehouse, 1922
326 East Fourth street, Davenport,
Iowa Telephone sos.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

All the news all the time-THE
ARGUS.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
HEATING AND PLUMBING.

CHANNON, DUFVA & CO.-Heating
and plumbing along scientific lines.
areful and skillful workmen. Prompt
Phone II -
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
FUEL.

EMPIRE COAL & COKE COMPANY
Wholesale and retail dealers in BIZ
luminous and anthracite coal. Prompt
avenue.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
RAILWAYS.
GOING EAST.
From

II Olli
California, Colora-l
do, Omaha, Desl
Moines, Lincoln. Il
Omaha, Des Moines,
Sioux Falls ......
Dallas, FIT. Worth,
Kansas City, At
Gibson, st. Joseph
Minneapolis, st. p
9. Rapids, Sioux
Falls 49,. .....l
California Special.
Davenport -. -. !
Des Moines, Iowa
City, West Liber-
" ..... ........l
Burlington, Oska-
loosa, Washing
ton. Muscatine i
Pueblo, Col Springs,
Denver, Lincoln,
Omaha, Des NJ.
Davenport -. -.
Omaha, ID. Moines,
Iowa City, West
Liberty -. ......l
California, FL Paso,
Topeka. X. City. -
Tri-City Express.
*. City. Atchison,l
st. Joseph .......l
Om aha, ID. Moines,l
Mimi, st. Paul,
Cedar Rapids :. d
cedar Rapids, Ell
mira, Upton ....l
cedar Rapids, Ell
mira, Upton ....I
Brooklyn. 10. City
w. Libery .......I
Eldon, Fairfield CO.
lumbus Junction
Muscatine. Wash.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
Real EState
For Sale

140O buys a nice four-room house.
with summer kitchen. full cellar. and
city water. on 31st street; lot 50N15O.
$3.50 for five-room cottage; lot 33X
1870; good well; on 18th street
$4,000 buys a fine seven-room house.
all modern. on 22nd street, near 9Th
avenue; bargain.
$1.10O cash for a cottage and corner
lot. IOOX1f0. on 9th street. snap.
81 $50 will buy a 10-room house. all
modern. hot water heat. on 3rd avenue,
$4,000 will buy nine-room house, all
modern. on 10th street
$3.50. hve-room cottage. lot -5OX176,
South Rock Island; it's bargain.
$500 for five-room cottage. lot 129X
$50, South Rock Island.
We have two small fruit farms of .
and : acres, near city limits; can be
bought cheap.
LOTS.
We have two nice lots on 18th street.
cheap
We have a lot on 18th street for $425.
We have a lot on 18th street. facing
Long View park. for $1,000
TO RENT.
nice fiat of five rooms on 9Th ave
nue.. near cath street; rent, $11 month.
We loan money at per cent,
List your property with us.
Open Wednesday and Saturday even
ings.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
LAUNDRIES.

HOME LAUNDRY - Family washings
only; work called for and delivered.
Miss y. Couch, proprietor. 421 Twelfth
street. Old phone west 755-X.
ROCK ISLAND STEAM LAUNDRY
Bakersfield & Sexton, proprietors
Fine finish and quick service. 1914
Third avenue. Phone west 1929.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
FOR sALE-CITY PROPERTY.


FOR SALE-Lot 4Ox150 feet, centrally
located, on paved street. For partic-
ulars address Box 267, city.
FOR SALE-Acre and town lots just
outside of city limits on bluff near
street car line. cheap on monthly pay
ments. Inquire of John L. Campbell,
1929 Seventeenth street. Phone 1922
FOR SALE-At bargain two good
building lots, fruit and shade trees
on Thirty-ninth street. near Elm
street car line. Terms reasonable.
Address @ w. Kerr, r. f. D.. No. /,
Rock Island, Ill
FOR SALE-On terms to suit the buy
er, a. nice corner building lot, east
front, located corner Thirty-eighth
street and Fifteenth avenue, one block
f fGGm Il Elm m S StTeSt ear n6s WI be
m. ii. 1907 care of Argus.
garnet that would make two more
rooms; good cellar, city water; three
years old; on Twelfth avenue; for
$1,000; would make cheap home or
a good Investment; part cash, balance
on monthly payments if desired. See
Beecher Bros, 15131A Second avenue.
FOR SALE-Cheap. nice level lots cor
ner Twenty-seventh street and Eigh-
street car track. Also for sale. one
half acre lot. Also for sale or trade
One-half acre lot with new seven
chaser. Inquire of E. Thonn 1915
Twenty street.
FOR SALE-Nice level lots in Beecher
& Walsh's addition on Twcnty-ffth
and Twenty-sixth streets between
Fifteenth and Seventeenth avenues;
all above grade with many shade
trees; city water on ground. Will
sell cheap on terms to suit purchas-
Will build homes for desira BILE
parties. For particular see Beecher
Bros, 1513% Second avenue.
FOR SALE-New five-room cottage on
Watch Tower line, just completed;
can be had on monthly payments;
very cheap
a double business block. nearly new,
paying II per cent on the investment;
all modern.
y few lots on Watch Tower line on
easy terms. l also have so residence
properties, many of which are real
sell, perhaps it will pay you to see
me. Old phone w. Ga; new 5662. c. b.
Ward. 17211a Second avenue.
THE two-story brick store building
situated at 1917 Second avenue. now
occupied by Dindinger, the printer.
This is good investment.
FOR SALE-To close estate. the beau
tiful home No. 1872 Seventeenth street :;
modern improvements; east front;
eight rooms; fine location; best of re-
pair. Call and examine.
FOUR acres. with house, situated on
corner Twelfth street and Cemetery
Tor gardening, florist, or poultry rails
ing. The heirs are DESTROYS of sell
ing these properties as soon possi-
BILE. Fer further information apply
to ID. Z. KrelI. 5I3 Eleventh street
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
Trains.

., daily except ouHudy'
IOWA & ILLINOIS RAILWAY (INTER-
urban)-Davenport waiting room. 2l7
Brady street Both phones. Fare, one
way between Davenport and Clinton, 40
cents. Round trip, $1.2O. Five hundred
mile book, $3.50.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
CLAIRVOYANT.

GYPSY QUEEN - The worlds greatest
palmiSt; tells all particulars of hui
man life, advice in business. family
and love affairs: gives color of hair
and eyes; initials of future compan-
ions, false or true; law suits. wills
separation and divorces; 111S Third
avenue.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
GOING WEST.
Leave.
To

To Arrive. Leave.
California Special. H12:4J am sI2 SO am
Des Moincs. Omaha
G Rapids, Sioux
rails 2:2O am 2:2J am
Des Moines. Omaha,
Col. California S:15 am . 1925 am
Des Moines, Omaha,
BeIleville :: -. . s:15 am = 6:SO am
Atchison, St Joseph
and K; city -. . 600 am 6:25 am
Cedar Rapids, Des
=, Moines; Omaha :. . 600 am x $3.50 am
Kansas City, Tope-
p ka; 1i Paso, Cal. 1880 pm " 1 100 pm
Des Moines. Omaha
Lincoln. Col go. I'12:5O pm I"12:55 pm
davenport 80. 1885 pm" 1875 pm
a., Ign, D. Moines.. K 80 pm x $500 pm
ton, Washington,
oskaloosa -. -. x s:25 pm
davenport .... X 700 pm TX ZOO pm
:. Rapids, Mime
apOlis, st. Paul.
Sioux Falls ......lx 9:15 nm g.2O nm
Des Moines, Omaha
Lincoln, Denveri
Col Springs. Pu-
t ePlo ;.S;. 49,. x1O:OO pm '1O:O5 pm
Kan. City, Fort
Worth, Dallas, Ell
ri Pago and nd Cal ;ad '1o:25 pm 'lO:SO pm
ri RaPids nj; ;,;;.1 K GAS am
Fap1ds 49,. K 1880 pm
H..
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

Peoria, Springfield,
st. l., Ind 'pls. $3.50 pm S:1Oa
neoria q 81. Louis. 6:55 pm 1920 pm
BloOmi gton. XII Is am 1:I5 pm
Sherrard Accom-. . X S:45 ami X $3.50 am
Gable * Sherrard
Accom-. S:45 pm 6:45 am
Cable d Sherrard. 2:20 pm $3.50 pm
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

LOST-LadNs gold watch, with mono
gram M engraved on outside of
case; name of owner on inside y
reward for return, to Argus Office.
LOST-PurSe containing house key and
small amount of change. and card
case. between library and Harper
house. Reward for return to 1884
Twentieth street. Telephone West
SIS X.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
MISCELLANEOUS.
EDUCATIONAL.

AUGUSTANA COLLEGE-Business de-
partment. A thorough business train
Ing given for entry into commercial
life. Terms reasonable. Apply to
Augustana college.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR RENT-Newly furnished rooms, al
modern, at 1906 Fifth avenue.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR RENT-Furnished rooms for hous
keeping at 1905 First avenue.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR RENT-Nicely furnished rooms for
light housekeeping at 527 Twentieth
street.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR RENT-Three unfurnished rooms.
Inquire. at 2510 Fifth and-a-half ave
nue..
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR RENT-Furnished rooms with
bath at 400 Third avenue
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

4 few lots on Watch Tower line on
easy terms. l also have 80 residence
properties, many of which are real
bargains. If you have anything to
sell, perhaps it will pay you to see
me. Old phone w. Ga; new 1862. c. b.
Ward, 17211a Second avenue.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR RENT-One large furnished front
room, suitable for one or two at 1926
Nineteenth street.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04
FOR RENT-ROOMS.

OO-~O()-~~~>~~-~~~~~~
FOR RENT-Furnished room at 273S
Sixth avenue.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR RENT - Furnished room; steam
heat; opposite city library. Address
III. TO-" care Argus.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

FOR RENT-Furnished rooms for ligh
housekeeping at 1922 Third avenue.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

~0~|~~>-N~0~~-~~~~~~~~~~~
trains leave Twentieth street station.
Main line trains start from main depot
on t1fth avenue minutes in advance
Of time given.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1906-12-04

THE two-story brick store building
situated at 1917 Second avenue. now
occupied by Dindinger, the printer.
This is good investment.
The Appeal., 1906-01-27
LobSter'S Bad Character,

The Scotch fishery board in it's
twenty-third annual report gives the
following as the characteristics of the
suspicious and Gnsociable fish, and re-
CARDS anything that comes near it as
it's foe The main motive of it's &C.
tivity is defense, and in defending
itself it manifests a blind and unre-
lenting vengeance. 1t procures hole
in which to wait for its prey, and
to which to retire after a fight, and it
is then unsafe for any animal to ap-
proach it.
It's keenness of attack and relent-
less hold when once it has gripped
it's antagonist are due to it's want of
sight, The eye Of the lobster is so
sensitive that strong light blinds it.
Although it possesses keen sight
when first hatched, the lobster is
practically blind later in life. 1t sees
nothing properly, but simply has the
sensation of light and shadow. 1t
tests a shadow with its antennae, and
sometimes when a. strong shadow is
cast on it, the lobster will leap at it
on the off-chance that it is foe.
The fighting tendency makes it diff
ficult to keep lobseters in confine-
ment. When once they have settled
down, however, they will live at
peace with one another, but it is
only an armed neutrality, and if one
of the fish ever loses it's fighting pow
er it is at once attacked by the
others.-American Shipping.
The Appeal., 1906-01-27
ANCIENT LEGAL TOME
VIRGINIA CLAIMS OLDEST LAW
BOOK IN AMERICA.
Brought to America 272 Years Ago
by the Rev. John Cotton, It's His
tory Is Clearly Traced as 1t Has
Passed From Father to Son.

The oldest law book in all America,
brought to this continent by the man
who named the city o. Boston, is turn
ing yellow with each added year of
age on a library shelf in the home Of
q distant son of it's original owner
here
The book, which must be handled
with caution now, lest it's leaves crum-
BILE, was brought to America 272 years
ago this fall. 1t came because Rev.
John Cotton was too puritanical in his
tastes to suit the authorities Of the
Church of England.
AS vicar of st. Botolph's church,
Boston, Lincolnshire, he. was sum-
moned to appear before Archbishop
America. Among his other books was
this old "Collection of the Statutes
from the Time of the Magma Charta
unto the Yere of Our Lord 1874" It
has been handed down from son to
grandson until it has reached the fifth
generation, and it is now held by Col.
Samuel Storrs Cotton of this city, a
man more than IS years of age. The
book at it's last birthday was 331 years
of age.
Nearly three centuries ago John Cot
ton was pastor of the largest church
in Great Britain. When he came to
America the party of colonists with
him who landed at Boston resolved
to name the new town for him in
honor of his old home town. The
American encyclopedia tells of this in
cident, under the head of Boston"
Cotton was a prominent antagonist of
Roger Williams.
En- route to the new world son
was born to John Cotton and his wife.
The son was named "Seaborne," in
honor of the voyage. This book be-
came Seaborne's property at manhood,
and at his death it went to his son,
John. Thomas was the son Of John,
who got the valuable volume, and ST.
mon received it at his fathers (Thom-
as death. 1t is Simons name which is
scrawled across the title page:) "Si-
mon Cotton, His Book, 1774."
Joseph Cotton, another New Eng
lander, became the possessor of the
book after his father, Simon, and Jo-
sephs son grew up to seek a fortune
in the new west: He came to Ne
braska when houses were unknown.
And with him he brought his old book.
This was Samuel Storrs Cotton, later
Col. Cotton.
Traced back beyond John Cotton,
the family tree extends directly to
the famous Robert Bruce. Four gen
erations are now living in Norfolk
Col. Cotton; his daughter, Mrs. Mary
Mathewson; her son, J. Storrs Math-
ewson, and his little daughter. One
of the facts justifying the statement
that this is the oldest law book in
America is that Col. Cotton has
searched in libraries all over the coun-
try, both personally and by letter, and
has practically established the fact
that this is the oldest in the land
Norfolk, Va, special in New York
World.
The Appeal., 1906-01-27
Pete Poulin's Own Note.

A thrifty Frenchman named Poulin
who owned a small farm near Carl
bou, Me-, occasionally would borrow
small sums from a leading merchant
i'm town, always giving his note with,
out Endorsement, always paying ii
promptly, and always being obliged
to pay good interest charge for the
accommodation.
In the spring of 1905 Mr.. Poulin
heard of cow he thought was a good
one that he could buy for $50, but he
did not have the cash, so he applied
Ito the merchant for the amount, but
stipulated that he should write the
note himself, instead of letting the
merchant write it, as had been the
custom. This was agreed to, and the
following is what he wrote:
For value received I promise to
pay thirty dollar in thirty day. The
man no come no money he bring the
note no good not a dam thing. Pete
lPoulin.'
The Appeal., 1906-01-27
FORCED BATHER TO STAND UP
Music Box Something Of a Nuisance
to Patriotic Enelishman.

Music Box Something of Nuisance
to Patriotic Englishman.
An American doctor built an ele-
CANT home; his bathroom was excep-
tionally beautiful, being of white
marble with silver hardware; music
box was concealed in the room. At
ter completion of the home an Eng
lishman came to visit the doctor.
Now, the English always show great
respect for their sovereign and their
country, and this one was no excep-
ton.
After showing his home to the Eng
lishman, the doctor remembered the
fondness English people have for the
bath, and escorted his guest to the
bathroom, and while there turned on
the music box, wishing to give his
guest pleasant surprise as he
bathed. Then he left his friend in
the bathroom.
About an hour later the English.
man joined his host in the drawing
room. The doctor Immediately
asked what his guest thought of the
bathroom. The Englishman replied:
ut is beautiful, beautiful
"Well," said the doctor, ''how did
you like my music box?'
Said his guest with great disgust
in his tones: Bah! That music box!
The darned old thing played God
Save the King and I had to stand
up the whole time I was drying to
bathe. San Francisco Chronicle.
The Appeal., 1906-01-27
Music Hath Charms.

Lady with the bum soprano,
i Must you use it every day?
Must you try on your piano"
. Every song they give away1
Neishbor with the pianola
I You must be an awful rube
To have thought that ancient roll-(a
Lovely thing-The Blue Danube'.)
Dont's you know the war is done with
You who play The Boys in Blue?'
How can you have any fun with
A cornet? Confound it! YOU!
When you keep your windows open
1t is your united faults
IF I have a rather slow pen,
Curses on the Danube waltz!
Don't you know the fourth command
ment?
Won't the racket ever end?
(Never knew what beat the band
meant
Now I think I comprehend.)
Must YOU run the awful gamut.
Won't you ever stop that din?
Stop it-cut it out-confound it!-goOd.
ness!s
Bring the keeper-Tm all in!
sOnly polite rhyme for gamut
New York Mail.
The Appeal., 1906-01-27
He Erred.

Ex-Ambassador Choate was discuss
ing an awkward error that had been
committed by senator
"The man reminded me- he said,
"of Sunapee farm hand at Christ
mas feast.
"The leading farmer at Sunapee
gave a grand Christmas dinner to his
forty helpers.
There was roast turkey, roast
goose, cranberries, pumpkin and
mince pies, hot ,doughnuts with hot
maple sugar, plum pudding feast.
; .And before certain tall and
strong farm hand platter containing
two ducks was set for carving.
'.The farm hand looked at the
ducks. Then he took one I'D on a
fork and extended it to the man next
to him.
Here he said "you take this.
Ones all I can manage