Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1906-10-11
Legally Dead.
bY ARTHUR Lee BoUTILLIER.

am TO you, Mary Mulligan. He come
up 10 Toozy Ann Bugle's door an was
talkln' awful strong to her, an she o
tellln' him as how he were dead an
gone an she'd have nothin' more to
do with him. Then he begun stormin'
away till Eddie Casey come out an
druv him on, sayin' he didn't want no
old corpses botherin' round the Ave
nue.. This mornin' he told me brother,
Jimmy Kennedy. he'd come back an
have the law OF 'em an get his rights"
Without saying word to his wife
or giving the slightest hint OF his In
tentions, Mr.. Bugle had simply
walked away one fine morning and
never come back Toozy Ann-the pop
ular rendering OF her baptismal name
Arethusa Annita-shed tears. as be.
came her sex, and. after fruitlessly
visiting she morgue several times and
mentioning the matter at the police
station, settled down 10 do rs best she
could alone.
As year after year passed by and
her husband did not return. Toozy Ann
gave up all idea Of ever seeing him
again. and consulted Father Peter OF
the chapel. and legal gentleman who
collected rents on the avenue. rs to
whether she might marry again. She
was told that according to law, In
seven years she might consider her
husband dead and have all the privi'
leges OF widowhood. and also claim the
few hundred dollars life insurance that
had been carried by him for her ben
eft.
The necessary formalities having
been compiled with. Toozy Ann, who
had been made executor" as she
called II. accepted the attentions OF
Mr.. Eddie Casey OF the coal yard; the
wedding day was set. and the guests.
who included all the inhabitants OF the
Avenue, hidden to the festivities.
So when the long.lost Mr.. Bugle had
Unexpectedly turned up on the night
before. his return was looked upon
with great disfavor by the Corinthians.
who considered that they had not only
been defrauded of wake by the I'M
usual manner Of his decease. but
might also be deprived Of wedding
by his untimely resurrection.
After the unexpected visit OF her
deceased husband. poor Toozy passed
a wakeful night OF tears and perplexi-
ty, and was glad to welcome Father
Peter at a nearly hour in the morning
"Oh, Father Peter. It's sinful trib.
ulation I'm in" walled Toozy Ann.
Here ! am, the widow of corpse and
him not dead nor buried. but comm
back and wantin' his property. The
coort said he was dead an he himself
says he's Twin an comm round every
blessed minute to have his rights
With Eddie Casey wantin' to beat him
with a club. an when have me new
clothes all bought an elegant new fur
niture for me sittin room presented
to me by me new husband an every
one an all invited" and Toozy wept
copiously into the corner Of her blue
checked apron.
my daughter" said the priest sooth.
ingly, ITS a painful thing to have a
deceased husband return in the mortal
flesh. and especially great tribulation
to those about to marry with the bless
Ing OF the church. Moreover. II may
be I'll have to get dlspensation to
complete the bans"
Thank your reverence said ToOzy,
whose lamentations had prevented her
from hearing distinctly. IF you'll get
me the dispensary I have the band
already. Didn't engage q dago to
bring himself an another Eyetalian
with his fiddle for the dancin'. An to
think o. me in me beautiful white"
A tremendous uproar at the street
door interrupted her, and running with
Father Peter to the window. she saw
the defunct and her betrothed strug-
Cling about the pavement. surrounded
by most OF the youthful Corinthian
court population. who encouraged
them with shrill boots and shouts Of
derision; while Toozy's canary in the
window burst into joyful song. as II
thanking heaven for fight.
Come out o. that, We hyena!" shout.
ed Eddie Casey. What do We want
rubberin' in where We don't belong
for?"
Let me go, you thief" angrily re.
torted Mr.. Bugle. II want me prop
erty, an me wife what's been longin'
for me for seven year an more"
"Longin' for We. We old deserter!"
piped up the little sparrow-faced wom-
an. who had edged her way into the
front row. ITS q good radiance ye
wor. An yer dead-dead as Noah in
the ark. There's Father Peter in the
windy, ask him II We amt corpse.
Him an the coort says yer dead an
buried long ago."
The coort be DAM" calculated the
deceased one. What did l die Oft
Where's me stificate II I'm corpsef
Where's me hearse? Ye're all crazy
an want to defraud me o. me rights.
But We won't do ut. I'll have ye all In
Jail for purloinln' me property, ! will"
He made another rush for the door
and the scuffie threatened to become
general, when q policeman elbowed
his way through the crowd. and selzing
Eddie Casey and Mr.. Bugle by their