davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27
by ROBERT BoNNER's SONS

BERT B0SNER'S SONS
"ha-' exclaimed Uncle Sam bitter.
ly, as my wife replaced the letter i'll
INV hands, ''if only these two men
had developed their present senses
year ago"
"Oh, Sam. dear" cried aunt Cert
rude, throwing her arms around her
husbands neck, what better news
could YOU have than is contained In
that letter."
"None, now," uncle Sam answered
quietly. 49,
"You will respond to your brothers
message in the spirit in which 1t Is
sent. will you not. dear?" pleaded aunt
Gertrude, looking earnestly IN her hus-
bands eyes. "a VOW Of enmity made
in anger is always better broken than
observed, and this manly apology
comes from your brother, father of
Comics husband. Remember, Sam.
what have forgiven; and If only to
crafty me, send your brother Il tele-
gram that I will write
My uncle remained silent for few
moments, his gaze fixed upon the fioor.
Presently he looked up and said,
Write what message you Will to
those two men, Gertie, dear. and it
shall be sent to them. My cnmity is
dead"
For this generous declaration aunt
Gertrude rewarded uncle Sam with
al |
wrung his hand in silent gratitude
almost overcome by the completeness
of my good fortune.
The telegram indited by aunt Cert
rude I have not seen but its healing
effect is my constant daily experience,
contributing-I cannot estimate how
largely-to the happiness Of our re-
united family. The telegram which
my wife and l despatched to Holden
hurst was long one, consisting or no
fewer than a hundred words. 1t ac-
auainted my father with our marriage.
and promised that we would proceed
to England after we had stayed al
Saratoga one week. or a sixth part of
the time which we had arranged to
remain there.
'You are a tardy bridegroom. Ern-
est" said uncle Sam, consulting his
watch, land you have lost your train
1t Is now two o'clock. so you will no
further delay your arrival at Saratoga
by returning to the company for an
hour'--a suggestion at once adopted
to the satisfaction of everybody OK
ccpt my wife's maid. who marNcllcd
greatly at being biddcn to remove her
mistress's hat. which had not long be
fore been adjusted with infinite care
and precision.
The hour which the kindly fates had
50 Unexpectedly placed at our disposal
quickly passed, our assembled friends
being infected With the great increase
of good humor apparent In host and
hostess. bride and bridegroom. In
deed, the universal iollity was so spon-
taneous and natural, and my satisfac'
ton SO unqualified that | was aston
ished when the carriage which was
to convey my wife and me to the de-
pot was announced, SO pleasantly and
feetly had the time sped.
Our departure took place amid II
chorus of good wishes and shower
of rice, whereof a certain handful was
thrown by uncle Sam with such un-
errng dextcrity that the greater part
of it found its way down the back of
my collar, and tickled me horribly in
the region of the vcrtcbrac until after
we reached Saratoga.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27
Demand For Chicken Farms.

Inspired by the high prices of eggs,
Il widow, who has been struggling for
years to maintain an establishment In
the city and to keep her son in boarding
school, has decided to go to chicken
farming. Il believe all the world Is
seized with the same fancy" she as
serts. "Such a time rs l have had to
find a suitable place. All of the real
estate men told me the demand for
chicken farms far exceeds the supply.
However, have hired a teu-ucic place
in Il Jersey town, convenient to New
York. l am going to take my boy
from the boarding school, send him to
the high school and have him help me
between times. My ardor has been
slightly cooled by the discovery that
most persons engaged in the business
on small scale think they are having
great success if they get Il net profit
of $500 a year. l have been making
half that in Il month in the city, but
am not discouraged. l believe l can
do better than $500 year, and in any
case it will be some satisfaction to
make other persons pay the high prices
/ have been giving for eggs."-New
York Press.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27
0IgL,rrn Punctuation.

BY scandaloUs shifting OF the
Lurden of Authority, nobody pnnctu-
ates any more, il is al! tAruwn upon
the printer to do his best In the art
preservative the custom varies. Some
Offices insert comma after every
fifth word, close punctuation, others
after the seventh, which is open CT
free punct uation. New York Sun.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27
AN HEIRESS SELLS HARDWARE.
A New Type of the Female Drummer
Has Struck Denver.

There have been drummers OF the
female persuasion in Denver before,
but Miss Sally Whitaker CT st. Louis
is the first of the family that ever
struck town selling heavy hardware.
Heavy hardware is made UP of ugly
pieces of steel and long strips OF
steel, and chunks of iron and the
like. Miss Sally Whitaker thinks
there is nothing quite so cute as
heavy hardware. She just loves 1t.
She says so herself. She would rath'
er sell man seven carloads OF heaVv
hardware than 90 to the SWEETEST func-
ton in her home town, in the SWEETEST
gown that the SWEETEST mCdiste IN
town could make. Miss Sally makes
this remarkable statement in great
earnestness, but il cannot help being
noted by anyone within sight, that
Miss Sally believes in pretty dresses
built in the latest mode.
Selling heavy hardware Is just
the best OF fun | ever had" continued
Miss Sally. You see, began 1t all
in a Joke, and since have more than
made good as YOU men say. And as
| like the experience, travelling around
the country for once without CHAP
rron and | am at the same time max.
ing good salary, am Just keeping
it up.
"It was the greatest joke, the way
| started. You know, my papa Is
director in a hardware company IN
st. Louis. He has charge OF all OF
the road statesmen. One day he came
home all out of humor, | wanted
new hat and | didn't dare ask him
for it. In the course OF the dinner
talk he said something about one OF
his statesmen resigning at the very
last minute before going out Oh
trip. The trade all along the route
had been informed that on such and
such a date a representative of the
firm would be in to see him.
Papa, why not let me go in his
stead? I bet could sell as much as
he would said |. Papa wouldn't hear
of such thing at first, Neither
would mamma. But | just argued
them into it and left the very next
night Papa says l made high
record for the western territory. l
felt very proud of myself and when
papa asked me il wanted to make
another trip, this time east, l said
yes. And so that is the way | start
ed. l won't keep it up always; but
I haven't grown tired of the life so
far, and probably won't until | have
seen most of the country. .'-DeaN4
Republican.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27
COnsiderate Lad.

We charged Young Hopeful with
cruelty to animals when he captured
three firefies and held them clutched
in a little hot fist He eyed us with
speechless reproach, then went his
way to the chipmunk hole, down
which he carefully poked his prizes.
There" he said in a tone of relief,
"now you can see to go to bed!'-
Lippincott's.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

My" exclaimed the good-natured
housekeeper as she watched Weary
Wraggles dev0ur the food, you GER
tainly do act as IL you were hungry"
"ActW he cried, between bites, Gee
whizz. lady, don't you know de differ
cnce between actin an de real ting?"
philadelphia Press. -
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27
FLATTERY.

FLATTEH Z.
liz Eer trim little bathing suit she
sat on the white sand.
81 adore intelligence!" she cried.
so do l." said he. "All the same,
though, beauty and intellect never
go together"
And do you think me intellect
ual?" she faltered.
No" he confessed, frankly.
With a faint flush she murmured:
terer!"--Cincinnati Enquirer
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

that the new Illinois uniform prima.,
les law curtails the power of the
bosses and gives the voters
far wider field of choice than the
system usually employed
1t is good as far as it goes; but no
law can compel lazy Or indifferent vo"
ers to do their duty either as par
men or citizens.
According to Edwin Markham in
Success Magazine, never before was
there so much study of poetry and
the drama. This is due to the mod.
ern extension of education and to the
spread of reading matter among the
masses. Poetry is not the fashion OF
an hour: it is an eternal need OF the
soul-a need that increases with tho
increase of intellectual light.
The successful man of to-day Is the
one who has an education that has
market value, contends the Louisville
Courier-Journal. This applies to all
classes Cf men. The writer, the law
YER tn, surgeon, the merchant and
the engineer, can measure his value
to the world largely by what men are
willing to pay for his service. The
conception of an education has been
greatly modified in recent years. A
man is educated who is skilled in do
ing some useful thing; who mani
tests an interest in all men engaged
in useful work; who is always striv.
ing to be more skillful and better in.
formed in his own work. Tho beau
ties of art, literature and philosophy
do not belong to any class of men,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

Major G.. +. Dutton, in the Popu-
lar Science Monthly, advocates the
theory that volcanic eruptions are
caused by Iadio-activity occurring at
a depth of one to three miles below
the surface of the earth. Obserra-
tions show, he says, that the seat or
volcanic activity is never so deep as
four miles. He supposes that at
about the depth mentioned, beneath
volcanic regions, radium is in process
Of formation from uranium. or what
ever the element may be whose slow
decay forms radium. The latter i'm
mediately begins to disintegratc at
a relatively rapid rate, and the heat
thus produced eventually melts
quantity of rock. The water con-
tanned in the rock thel eupon becomes
explosive, and an eruption ensues.
The lava having been discharged, the
volcano re- is until the accumulation
Of heat from radio-action again melts
the rock
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

Ninety per cent. CT Baltimore's
burnt district has been rebuilt, and
the new structures, according to the
Sun, are conspicuous "for convenience
and architectural beauty"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

A Pittsburg clergyman preached a
sermon on Successful Sin." and he
had a good many of his congregation
fidgeting, according to the Washing.
ton Post, until it turned out that he
had no intention of mentioning
names
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

The New Orleans Timer Democrat
declares that we can and we should
either enforce or change the law, We
should either legalize lynchings or
stop them. There can be no middle
ground, no compromise on any ques-
tion which involves the integrity OF
the law
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

The New York Mail suggests that
nobody is really sane now except the
Ftsanity experts, and there is getting
10 be a good deal Of doubt about them.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

1t is a significant fact. observes t'e
New York Sun. that in June, when
the price of brick was declining, the
building statistics for twenty-three Of
the leading cities of the United States
indicated an investment of $4,000, 600
in new constructions. as against $4S,-
000,OO in the same month year ago.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

1t is only Paris that could be ex-
pectcd T. serve hOrs" meat as lark
pie man who can tell lark from
horse after Parsian chef has had
his way with both wCull face no conf
petition in test 10 choose a univer'
sal faster.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

While dividing mankind generally
into brcmidcs and sulphtes. Mr.. Ge-
lett Burgess recognized the existence
of certain persons 30 deeply, eXquls-
itly and unparalleleGly bromide as to
BE- CT sulphitic effect.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

So late as 1913 the East India
Company decided that trade with
Japan was not worth cultivating
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

After Il number of rcbaters and
other defiers of the law of the land
have studied matters in the enforced
privacy of prison walls. suggests the
New York Tribune, il is probable that
breaking laws vii! not be considered
such great fun as it has been in the
past
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

Reform moves on to the accomplish
ment Cf good, regardless of the mo.
tiyes and purpose OF those VINO be-
come its instruments. phi'oSophiscs
the Memphis News-SCimitar.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27

had no intention of mentioning
names.
Ninety per cent. CT Baltimore's
burnt district has been rebnlt, and
the new structures, according to the
Sun, are conspicuous "for convenience
and architectural beauty"
The New Orleans Times Democrat
either enforce or change the law. We
should either legalize lynchings or
stop them There can be no middle
ground, no compromise on any ques-
tion which involves the integrity of
the law
1t is a significant fact, observes the
New York Sun, that in June, when
the price of brick was declining, the
building statistics for twenty-three Of
the leading cities of the United States
indicated an investment OF $4,000, 900
in new constructions, as against $4S,-
100000 in the same month year ago.
After Il number of rcbaterS and
other defiers of the law of the land
have studied matters in the enforced
privacy of prison walls, suggests the
New York Tribune, il is probable that
breaking laws vii! not be considered
such great fun as it has been in the
past
While dividing mankind generally
into brCmidcs and sulphites. Mr.. Ge-
lett Burgess recognized the existence
of certain persons 30 deeply, eXquis-
lily and unparalleeGly bromdic as to
BE- CT Sulphitic effect.
1t is only Paris that could be ex-
pectcd t. serve hOrs" meat as lark
pie \ man who can tell lark from
horse after Parisian chef has had
his way with both wCull face no conf
petition in test to choose a univer-
sal faster.
Reform moves on to the accomplish
ment Cf good, regardless of the mo-
tiyes and purpose OF those VINO be-
come its instruments. philos0phiscs
the Memphis News-Scimitar.
The paramount object in the cul-
turc Cf the grape in most parts or the
world has been the obtaining OF VINE.
The extent CT this will not be Surprls-
ing and hardly believed by those not
acquainted with the statistics. mus,
for instance, there are annually pro-
duced Cn the globe over ,OOO,OO0,00o
gallons of wine. OF this amount, the
United States produces only about
50,O00,000 gallons.
The New York World thinks the Ut
most vigilance in protecting the peo-
pie from poisoning by adulterated
food and drugs il needed, But the
actual damage done by all other Iood
adulterants and sophistications COM
bined is perhaps less than that fairly
ascribed to bad milk alone. with
pure milk and pure water supply
the modern city community has gone
a long way toward guaranteeing gen.
cral health
Ohio's dairy and food commissioner
discovers nothing worse than veal'
in a sample can of ''potted chicken =
This is more encouraging to the
Evening Post than the "twenty,cent"
norton of Omaha brandy, which con.
tanned traces CT ferrous sulphate,
sulphuric acid, colocynth, colchicum,
nocculus indicus, strychnine, tobacco,
copper, and acetate Of lead
The Cleveland Plain Dealer notes
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1906-09-27
THE ARTIST WAITER,

THE CAPABLE SERVITOR AND HIS CAREFUL TRAINING,
.+s+..*~+s*.**#s"**"*s*..*
Through coeBeHe Must Know All Sorts Of Weird
Dshes-.On the He
Hand Him Irritable
1.-The Divisae II Squads
Of Employment.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1906-08-03
GRAIN RIOTS IN FIELDS.
CAUGHT ON A CHIMNEY.
Two Men Held Prisoners Five Hours
Near New York Finally Manage
to Get Down.

NEW YORK, July 31.-Two men were
held prisoners inside the new reinforced
concrete chimney at Milillen Bros. steel
plant at Mariners Harbor, Staten Is
land. for five and a half hours Monday
afternoon. They were Oh plank 6 feet
long by , feet wide 10 feet from the top
of the chimney, which is GA feet high.
Their rescue was effected after Il long
struggle by other employees and members
of the fire department. Tie prisoners
were Harry Towyne, foreman of the job,
and Conried Briol. his assistant.
When tearing down scaffolding, a
board knocked away a ladder, their only
avenue of escape.
While crowd was collecting the ma
rooned men made their shirts into a thin
tape line and lowered it 104 feet to the
bottom of the chimney. With this they
drew up an inch rope, their idea being
to slide down on it on the inside. But
when they threw the end over the top
of the chimney it stuck in the soft con-
crete and would not bulge either way.
They were nonplused for Il minute. Then
they began making another thin line out
of their undershirts. With this they
drew up a tishline, then another inch
rope.
The men in turn slid down the rope,
but badly burned their hands in doing So.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1906-08-03
FLOCKS OF WILD PIGEONS.
John Burroughs Investigates Report of
their Being Seen in Sullivan County.

John Burroughs Investigates Report of
their Being Seen in Sullivan County.
John Burroughs, the author-natural-
list. has returned to West Park from
trip to Sullivan county, n. Y, where
he passed some time investigating re-
ports that wild pigeons had been seen
recently in that locality. When Mr.. Bur-
roughs was in Poughkeepse he said:
Il have seen the men who saw the
birds and have every reason to believe
that they are telling the truth. Some
of them knew the passenger pigeon in
the old days, and it is not likely that all
have been mistaken in the identity of the
birds seen lately"
Thirty or forty years ago immense
fiocks of wild pigeons frequented the
Hudson river valley. They disap-
peared suddenly and it was supposed
that they had been exterminated by
ruthless slaughter. The sequence of
events indicates, however, that they were
driven away and sought new feeding and
resting grounds in other parts of the
globe, perhaps in the southern part of
South America.
Recently focks of considerable size
have been reported in Sullivan county.
and two flocks have been seen along
the Hudson, one a week ago Saturday by
Citing Van Akin of Tower Hill farm,
near Port Ewen.-New York Sun.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1906-08-03
MURDER REWARD QUICK
TWO ITALIANS KILLED IN FULTON
MARKET, NEW YORK.
Three Peddlers Get Into Dispute, One Is
Shot Dead and Slayer Is Stabbed
by the Other.

NEW YORK, July 31.-Vengeance
was visited by Giuseppe Tocco in a
minute upon an Italian, Salvatore Siam
monco. after he had shot and MORALLY
wounded his countryman, Salvatore
Carodone, on South street, near the Full
ton market today.
All three We're peddlers, who were
buying fish at the market. Tocco and
CarOdone. who are brothers-in-law, were
talking when they were Joined by Siam
monco. In an alteration Siammonco
fired at CarodOne who fell with bullet
would near the heart. The assailant
fled, pursued by Tocco.
A block or two away Tocco caught up
with Siammonco, pulled a long bladed
fish knife and plunged it into the other
mans chest. The blade penetrated the
heart and Siammonco fell dead.
The tragedy was witnessed by scores
of marketsmen and pedestrians, but it
was enacted so swiftly that not a man
could interfere. Tocco was arrested.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1906-08-03
MARKETS BY TELEGRAPH.

MILWAUKEE, July 31.-Close-Wheat-
Steady; No. l northern, on track, zoe; No.
on track, 50Ac- Oats-Easier; standard, Boo;
No. white, on track, 331A0341ac. Barley
Dull standard, 54c; sample on track, $50
54c. Rye-Dull; No. / on track, 6O1ac. Pro
visiOns-Steady; pork, 1917; lard, $50.
Flour quotations in carloads are: Hard
spring wheat patents, in wood, 4.Oo@42o;
straight in wood, 3.90@4, 10; export patents,
in sacks, 3.400350; first clear, in sacks,
31503. 25; rye, in wood, 3.25Gl3;35; country
2S5@2.95 in sacks. Kansas straights, in
wood, $50.
Millstuffs are quoted in carlots at 1900 for
bran, 100 for standard mddlings and
195o01975 for Milwaukee -four middlinGs
in 1O0-lb sacks; red dog, 22.OO; rye feed,
100; delivered at country points. soc extra
ST. LOUIS, Mo, July 31.-Close-Wheat
track, 71A@72Ac; September, 711a@1%c;
December, 145s@74Ac; No. . hard, 7O52@
73c. Corn1Futures, lover M.7 cash; firm; NO No.
4ohc; December, 45Ac. Oats--Lower; No.
2 cash, 321ac nominal; track, 331a934c;
september, 31ssc; December, 32&c; No.
white, 36@37c.
G1r9 No. 10 c q GweT seP5sn
Der, 67asc: December, 69Ac; cash Nc Co.!
hard 69@71c; No: 8, GS@6S1zc; No. + 6SG'
No red, 7o1A@711Ac; No. g. &C., No, ~ q,
cember, 427sc; cash No. ? mixed, 49%c No.
3. 491ac: No white, sic; No B. 5O12lD1lc;
Oats-Steady; No. white, 361ac; NO.
mixed, 32033c-
NEW YORK. July 81. -Close--Wheat--
September, S0Bc; December S3hc; May
s55Sc. CONTEMPORARIES, 567ac; December
soc.
MINNEAPOLIS, MINI, July 31.-Close-
Wheat-July, 73Ac; September, 74hc; D De
cember 75$sc; May, 7912@793sc; No. 1 hard
s771ac; No. 1 northern, 761sc; No, 2 northern
745sc; No northern, 7211@73c. 3D.
KANSAS CITY, Mo, July 31.-Cattle-hee
ccipts, 1900, including 2OOO southef4ISS,
market steady; native steers, 39Ugo o,ls
southern steers, 2.75@4. 40; southern cows,
OO03. %; native COWS and heifers, Z.o1g
$50; stockers ad feeders, 2.25Q4.5o; pu5Isdi
. 2O04OO calves, 25005.50; western Ivu
steers, 35O65.80; western fed cows, Z.g1g
425 Hogs-Reccipts. 1900; market stroHis
bulk of sales, G4O96.5O: heavy, 640a649'
packers. 6.400J6.5 211z; light, 6.45@65112; psSt
5.25Q575. sAeep-,Receipts, 5000 5000 m 9 59a
steady; muttons, 4.5Ulpo. 80; lambs, 2 2fo19
7.5O; range wethers, 4.50U57o; ewes ueu'
4.O005OO. nooin+s
OMAHA, Neb., July 31.-Cattle-Recelprrss
1900: market slow to steady; native stee a1
a. 25IDG 10; cows and helfers. 3.ooq411V1Hs5
western steers. 3.25@475: Texas steers ~
0pi25: COWS and heiters,- 2.OOQ31o; sto UHG
ers and feeders, 275QD4.35; calves SO pe
5'75: bulls and stays, 2.25Ql425. Hogs-inas
cefpts 10000; market steady; DulK Q! sue Epi
G. 25GD6 40 Shcep-neceipts. 5000; MA "a
stendy: lambs. 6.25@7. %; sheep, 4'ooe''''
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1906-08-03
Where Mutiny Reigns.

Sveaborg is a strongly fortified town
of Russian Finland, situated on seven
islands, in the gulf of Finland, imme-
diately southeast of Helsingfors. The
islands, which are connected by pom
toons form the site of a fortress which
defends the harbor of Helsingfors and
consists of numerous military works
and batteries and a military arsenal
Sveaborg also has an excellent harbo1.
The island of Skatudden lies close to
es coty af Helsingfors, with which it
is connected by short bridge. 1t is
half a mile long and about a quarter OF
Il mile wide and is given over entirely
to the fortress. The government rail
way from ST Petersburg encilclcs the
city and terminates upon Skatudden
island. The Skatudden fortress is
about three miles from SvCaborg.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1906-08-03
HILL PLACES A LIMIT.
Great Northern's Highest Dividend Is
Seven Per Cent.-Improvemc
Were Out CT Surplus

ST. PAUL. Mimi, July 31.-During
hearing before the state railroad and
warehouse commission. on merchandise
rates in Minnesota, L. l., Harrington
vice-president of the Great Northern
railway made the statement that no
matter how great the earnings of the
Great Northern railway, Prcsil ent
James j. Hill had laid down the rule
that stockholders shall never receive a
higher dividend than per cent
Mr.. Harrington also said that improve
ments We're paid for out of the surplus,
until new issue of stock becomes nee
essary. when stock was issued in blocks
of So, 600, 900.