davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-12-28
NJ u n -.

These are the real facts about the
standing Of the nohlest work OF God
man. He is first known as the son
of his mother. then the husband of
his wife and ends by being known as
the father Of his children Atclllsop
Globe
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-12-28
Getting N Fit.

"What's the matter across the waX?'
asked the tailor of bystander as the
ambulance backed up to the door of
his rival
"A customer fel, in a fit, and they
are taking him to the hospital" was
the reply.
That's strange" said the tailor. 81
never knew customer to get a fit
In that establishment before"
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-12-28
First Thing In Order.

Teacfcr-Johnny. if gave you 5
cents and Your brother 10 cents. what
would that make? .Io!,nny-TroubIc.-
Denver News.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-12-28
The OreSoniar.
PORTLAND, OREGON.

transcription Rates in Advanced
Daily, Sunday included, IL months ....... SIS. 90
ally, Sunday included months. AZ,
Daily, Sunday included, 8 months ....... 22o
Daily, Sunday included, / month ........75
Sunday Oregonian, II months $50
Sunday Oresonian, months ............ I.25
weekly. per year Observation-Disclosures. l. %
NoTE-Cut out this advertisement and it will
he accepted as so cents in payment for an an
nuai subscription for the Daily. sunday or
weekly Oregon an.
How To Remit-Send Post Office Money Or
der, Express order or personal check on your
local Bank. stamps, coin or currency are at
your risk The OrcgOnian,
Portland, Oregon.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-12-28

None can fniurc him who does not
'nlure himself ST CirvSo4 tom
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-12-28

Write your adv. plainly. enclosing amour,
In stamps money Vrder for number Of
Insertions desired. anc state whether you
wish adv inserted In Daily. Sunday OF
TWics-a- Week.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-12-28
Keep Posted
On Matters That Interest You

Your local paper is a necessity
to you, financially and socially.
But a NEWSPAPER OF GEN.
ERAL CIRCULATION, contain.
ing the latest news of the world,
is equally necessary to you. The
up to date man" will provide
himself with these two essential
features of progress.
In THE TWICE A. WEEK
SPOKESMAN REVIEW, spo-
kane, Wash, will be found the
very latest news of the world, its
matter including information on
politics, commerce, agriculture,
mining, literature, as well as the
local happenings in the states Of
Montana, Oregon, Idaho, Wash
ington and tho province of British
Columbia. In addition, its COL
umns for women, its popular
science articles, its short and con-
tinued stories, its Answers to
Correspondents" and Puzzle
Problems" combine to form q
home newspaper that at $1.00 per
year can nowhere be excelled.
ITS ADVERTISING VALUE.
Perhaps you have something to sell-a
farm. team. farm machinery. You may
wish to buy somethins. The best possible
way to communicate with people who wish
TO by or sch is BY inserting a small ad-
Vertisement In The Spokesman Review.
Farmers stockmen. lumbermen and min.
RS take the TWICE-A-WEEK.
II you wish to reach business men and
newcomers. use the DAILY or SUNDAY
SPOK E.SMAN REVIEW.
THE TWICE-A-WEEK RATES ARE
Ten cents per line each insertion Count
ak words to a line.
THE DAILY AND SUNDAY RATE FOR
CONSECUTIVE INSERTIONS
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-12-28
ITS ADVERTISING VALUE.
10 Swords
Words


THE SUNDAY ALONE
Ton cents per line each Insertion. Count
six words to q line.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-12-28

We have the best varieties. Aid
Raspberries, Blackberries, L0qad
berries at wholesale prices. A Nd
! European variety of Grape at
cents; all other stock at correspond
ingly low prices. Drop me 5 carr
of your wants and | will save yo|
money. l thank my old customer
for past trade and solicit yourhtur
business.
e. r. EICHHOLTZ
p. o. Box ISIS, Kennewick
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1906-12-28

Rates in Advanced
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17
HoRfzoHTRL D1aL ~ ff4RBLC SEDsSTHt
ON IyES'T'ctiES7tER ESTc4TS'
soar pEDLERS DEVIOUS WAYS
Two Methods by which the Fiat Dweller IL
Trapped into IIuytnE.

Half a score of statesmen n day, on the
average, visit each OF the OF
moderate priced flats in this city. They
eludc the %janitor, If he is inclined to he
watchful, by ringing the tenants bells and
then knocking at their doors. The goods
offered vary much in kind. from real estate
to soap. The soap statesmen are the most
numerous, ingenious and hardest working.
One woman fat dweller OF n statistical
turn OF mind reports that during three
months that she kept a record 81 per cent.
of the peripatetic pedlers had soap to
sell or to give away.
Ono of these showed a knowledge OF
feminine human nature in the way he
offered his wares:
Good morning, Mrs. Robinson" he said,
when the door was opened in answer to his
knock, ut the same time deftly uncovering
two small pasteboard boxes. One con-
tanned three cakes of toilet soap whose
perfume burst j~oyously through the gilt
paper wrappings; the other a score of near
diamond" rings, which ~sparkled in the hall
gaslight.
"Ill give you one OF these diamond rings,
tell your weight, age, height, maiden name,
read your palm and give you this box OF
Everlasting Youth soap, all for a quarter.
IL l make a mistake, and don't tell you all
these things correctly, you can have the
soap for nothing. That's fair, isn't it?
All right. Here's the box Of soap. Be
kind enough to pick out the diamond ring
that you like, and see if it fits our finger.
You'll take that one. Dear me! I'm sorry;
but I'll stick to my bargain. One OF my
children must nave been playing with those
rings this morning and got on Of her
ton ones in the box.
"You weigh 1875 pounds; you are 5 feet 4
inches tall, and 0 are 10 years old. What
You're not 20? Impossible, madam! l beg
your pardon, Of course, for seeming to doubt
your word, but it is incredible that you
Should be so old and yet look so young.
No doubt you have used this Everlasting
Youth soap for some yea rs. l can't ex-
plain it in any other way. No? Well, it does
all its name implies; keeps one forever young,
| Your Ihaiden name was Smith. Jones,
thinking about my wife. Her name was
! Smith. She is very i'll indeed and l keep
Worrying about her so that l can't think OF
much OF anything else.
~Now if you will kindly let me see you
palm. You have had a good deal Of sorrow
You had a chance to marry a very rich mar
when you were a young girl, but you scorneo
enough, and, though you folks wantec
YOU to marry him. you couldn bring your
self to love him. He loves you still, though
and always will. He is very u%nhappily
married.
your husband loves you devotedly. He
is not making as much money just now a.
he will in a short time. You are going to b.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17
OF IOWA.
Conducts a Brilliant Campaign Against
DandeliOns and HObOes.

They have great brains out in Iowa.
There, for instance, is the Mayor OF Mar
shalltown, whose name is Ingledue.
1t is a sylvan sort of name. One thinks
Of dewy morns and ingledells where a
weary hobo might loaf and invite his soul.
Not a bit of it. Hoboes are hereby warned
that Mr.. o. l.. Ingledue Of Marshalltown
is a foe to the wanderlust, an enemy to
that simple life in which one is content
with a haymow for a couch and a back
step dining table with -Anythin' We happen
to have, lady" for a repast.
Mr.. O. L. Ingledue of Marshalltown has
devised a new and ingenious d~iscourager
of the simple life above mentioned. He
drags up all the tramps who get within
smelling distance Of Marshalltown and
puts them to worls-digging the dandelions
out Of the lawns which sweetly embosom
the court house and the city library!
With Mr.. O. l.. Ingledue il is war, war
to the knife, against both the dandelion
and the tramp. And the smart Mayor
of Marshalltown has solved the difficulty
by putting the knife into the hand Of the
tramp and setting hobo n dandelion
to fighting each other. An admiring nation
takes of it's hat to Mr.. o. l.. lngledue OF
Iowa.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17

very rich, and you will travel a great deal.
You are going to cross the ocean and live
in Europe during next year. You are fond OF
children? Well, 1 think I see two here for
you. You will live to be very old, and will
lead a useful, happy life to the end. You
four years, but you will recover and be
better thar ever.
Thank you, madam. I haven't change
for so cents. Take another box of soap
and a ring and stick pin for your husband.
Thank you, again. Good morning
business ability. He did not attempt to
gain entrance at the front door. Instead he
went down in the basement, called on the
%janitor, presented him with a couple OF
cakes of death to Dirt" soap, made a verbal
agreement with him for a commission on
all sales that he might make, and started to
work.
His first step was to press all the electric
bell buttons for the dumb waiter service.
Every woman who was at home opened the
door Of the dumbwaiter in her kitchen and
stuck her head into the shaft. They could
the foot Of the shaft. When the tumult
had subsidized the salesman began in a clear,
business like voice:
Il am going to send up some free full size
samples of Death to Dirt" soap on the
dumbwaiter in just a moment, ladies. I
1t. 1t is good for washing clothes, for
scrubbing, for the complexion, and, in fact.
FOR cleaning anything that can be cleaned.
There is nothing like it. Read the directions
in -four Ian qua Res on the outside Of each
package. I will call again a week from
Look out for your heads, ladies'"
And the dumbwaiter went up with a large
bar OF soap for each fiat in the house, accord
ing to the number of bells.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17

Occupying a prominent place on the front
wall of the new residence of Mrs. Belzhoover
at Irvington-on-the-H uds1n is a vertical
ornate design, carved II the stone OF "hlch
the house is built. Two cupids rest COM
fortably Just above the dial, holding In ther
hands scrolls bearing Latin notices. just
at the left of the porte cochere il a dial
showing the diff erence bet ween clock time
and sun time for all the year.
Sentiment doubtless enters largely into
the fad of collecting sun dials; but there
is another side to it, too, for no one feature
of modern decorative gardening lends
such a picturesque u to the landscape
as the sun dial. To be sure, 1t would scarcely
be safe for a man to keep an engagement in
Wal Street by it, or a woman an appoint
ment at her dressmaker's, but 1t answers
very well the purpose OF telling the man or
woman of leisure when to dine.
Sun dials range in price from So for the
very small size-these are reproductions
and cast-up to $50. 1t isn't always the
dial itself that costs 80 much blu the pedes-
tai that accompanies 1t.
An exceedingly artistic pedestal can be
purchased for s35, but the prices vary
according to the taste Of the individual.
A wealthy New York woman recently paid
IS, 900 for a sun dial and pedestal, but the
latter was handsomely carved.
Two particularly stunning pedestals,
recently imported from Japan for the
estate of a railway magnate up in Vest
chester, were formerly temple gate posts:
A stone pedestal can be bought for $40 and
one of marble for SOS
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17

Sun dials are in increased demand since
women nave gone in for landscape garden
ing and in the pursuit ofthese timcpieces OF
ancient manufacture there Is a deal OF
energy displayed. In spite of the demand
for old sun dials in and about New York,
there are still many to he had.
Dials of English make are most common
and are more frequently seen in the antique
shops thar those of any other country.
In buying an imported dial it must be
borne in mind that to make it practical it
may be necessary to adapt it to a possible
change in its location.
So that one Of modern manufacture,
copied perhaps from an old model, is perhaps
more to be desired. Some of the very old
dials are arranged to show the time in the
four quarters of the globe. for instance;
In London, New York, Melbourne, AUS
tralia and places in China and Japan.
Another suggestion for the woman who
IL considering the purchase of a dial for her
garden Is to see that the tracings are hand
engraved, not cast. for the former are far
more accurate. The process OF casting the
dial is apt to detract from its accuracy.
Diallists are born, not made, and they are
few and far between, One of them now in
America is a German and has qualified
himself for the work by being an astronomer,
o mathematician, an adept in the repro
duction of ancient designs and a sculptor.
One of his dials is in the garden OF Mrs.
o. H. P. Belmont's place at Hampstead
Il not only tells the time of day but at noon
sets OF a cannon.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17

flesh Is not much occupied with goodness in
her heart.
The poet believes that the devil intends
10 seat these frivolous danes at his table
and he grimly adds that the abode of that
potentate SIS a place where no one enjoys
himself"
All said and done, It Is only fair to
warn the modern would-be reformer
Of woman's extravagant dress that he will
find 1t after all scarcely worth the effort
ing his pains upon q cause lost from the
beginning. So the ancient preachers,
s~atirists and law makers found it.
Not only did the ladies Of the fourteenth
century keep right on wearing horrid head
dresses, but In the fifteenth these abomina-
tions had grown to be considerably worse
and more Of them. In the seventeenth
century a certain DIR. Smith expresses the
hopelessne SO Of the fight in two forlorn
verses Of q very bad ballet" on woman's
vanity. He says:
Your jealous lecturers often preach
And homilies exc expound.
But women. as II they we're out Of their reach.
Persevere and stand their ground.
They may preach as we'll to the walks. or
There's not one amongst ten not sermon
proof.
Their hearts are as hard as a horses hoof.
And az hollow. but not as sound.
And when do you think this gear may mend
And come to q better passe?
In truth. i think II will never have end.
What. never Then Quit Alasl
They hold such wicked ~counsels between 'um
We can do little else but make ballads against
'um.
Ten thousand furles / think are in um.
Is not this a pitlful chse2
At the foundation of the matter is one OF
| the unsolved riddles of the ages. Do women
dress to please men or do they not
Men hay always been firmly convinced
that women attired themselves for the
sole purpose of finding favor in the sight
OF the lords Of creation. Even mere man,
who has had most of his cherished kinks
Strengthened out for him with no gentle
hand, has been permitted to retain this
opinion, so it may be true.
The many f~ruitless masculine efforts;
ancient n modern, to reform the absurdi-
ties and extravaganza Of feminine costume
would seem to prove the contrary. Nobody
| knows the answer to the oonundrum but
] Woman, and she won't tell.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17
believe the company will blame you for it's

DtlltNt lnt CpihDhiy VIZ NANNY ySe -
not going way in"
But | can't get my cent owet."
when you inserted your cent in the slot
did you expect to get it outi
"No; but it says gum and chocolate on
der owetside of der machine"
IF you got nothing out, how do you know
that il isn't gum and chocolate inside the
machine? If you had got SeidlitZ powders
and shirt buttons, then you might com
plain and say the company was acting
in bad faith. | tell you honestly 1t Is my
belief that there are gum and chocolate
in the machine"
But l don't got it owet.'
"Who said you would get it out? Maybe
the company wants to use 1t in its busl-
ness"
-Ach, you talk nonsenses, Vat for you
| tink | put my cent in der schlot?" -.
ITO push the rod, and you say you did
push the rod"
But | say l got holdings owet.'
Nobody but you has said anything
about getting anything out. The company,
invites you to insert one cent, and you did
insert one cent. 1t then invites you to push
the rod. and you did push the rod. The
incident is closed
But Iexpected to get Something's owet,''
What you expected has nothing to do
with the matter. The company has 1ul-
filled its part Of the implied contract ny
receiving your cent and permitting you TO
push the rod. Here is my train. bid you
good-day. I'm a lawyer, and my name
i Steinberg. Nahmen Sic meme karte;'
"Und mein list Schneider, und Ich verde
ieden verdam' Knochen in dieser Machines
Lieb brechen!"
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17

his 'Meditations On the Pride Of Women's
Apparel may be recommended. Thus it
runs.
See! how some borrowed o~f-caste valne attire
Can puff up pampered clay and dirty mire.
Though whether there Is any man ven
turesome enough now to call names such
as these is a question.
II not, here are two other epithets which
might pass: trimmed up puppets and
"daintie m%inions." In condemning ex-
travagant dress there is a pattern Of Puritan
pithiness which might be helpful in which
George johnson declared that 'gawrish
gear gave him grave grievance
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17

Woman began to turn herself to evil from
the time she caused our first father to descend
into hell. woman who thus adorns her head.
don't you believe but what she Will pay for
It II she does not amend herself Of 1t. Such
quaint fashions have brought many a man to
death and deceived him.
By tho faith l owe st, Mathurin. they make
themselves horned with worked hemp or
fax and counterfeit dumb beasts who would
be known for worthy ladies. II would be moro
to their advantage to think OF their souls
as do the worthy women OF simple manners
who will not make a display Of themselves
to attract libertines. And l believe that a
woman who thus decorates and dlsf1gures
herself and loves and values so much her
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17
THE MERITS OF THE CASE
Presented to n Dissatisfied Patron OF q
Cent in the Slot Machine.

cent IN unc SlOt MacHlne'
A large man humid with the intensity Of
! his feelings was prancing threateningly
Lin front of an automatic vending contri-
/ vance on an elevated railway station plat
form. He gave the rod an angry push and
exclaimed:
"Donnerwetter!'
There was no result, and he shook the
machine violently, hit the rod with the
callous part of his palm and growled;
Observation-Disclosures"
Still there was nothing doing on the
part of the slot device, and with his hand
kerchief in his ralm the big man dealt the
rod a mighty blow, bowling:
"K%reuzmillione ndonnerwetter!
A small man standing close behind him
asked in a low voice:
What is the matter, my friend?"
"Dot machine, l preak efery pone in his
pody," said the angry man.
"But what is the natter"
Il hat put my cent in der schlot once
und | get holdings owet!"
well, let us consider this matter" said
the small man, adjusting his eyeglasses. 1T
says Insert one cent and you say you did
insert one cent. Did anybody compel you
! to insert one cent?"
NO; but | get holdings owet.'
wait a minute. What does 1t say next2
Then push the rod Did you want to push
the rod2"
Sure, vat you tink?"
"Did anybody try to prevent you from
pushing the rod?"
mo" -.
And, as a matter Of fact. you did push
the rod?" >,
"Yes, and pushed yust so hard as | could,
but der rod it don't go all der vav in"
well, you did your best, and | don't
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17

hair badness. and instead Of a stomacher q
glrdlns Of sackcloth and burning instead Of
beauty.
II you wish further to improve your style
you may read out of the 'Quippes for Up
start New Tangled G~entlewomen' either "A
Treatyse Showing and Declaring the ,Pryde
and Abuse Of Women Now a Dayes," by one
Stephen Gosson, or "A Glasse to We've the
Pride Of vainglorious Women by Charles
Bansley. These are stern, searching, Eliza
bethan and, for the most part, quite UNI
quotable. AS an example for all budding
reformers of women's dress the couplet with
which James Day in the year 1887 began
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17

For sustained force Of expression nothing
~surpasses that curious satire written by
an unknown French poet about the year
1910. 1t is particularly on the 'cornetes,'
or horned head dresses which then be-
came fashionable, but it is at the same
time a denunoiation of the extravaganza
and worthlessness OF women.
The preposterous headgear which fur
nishes the excuse for this sermon was
built out with false hair at the sides so as
to bear some likeness to the close curled
horns Of a ram and 1t 80 outraged the
Bishop OF Paris that he promised ten days
pardon for sin to any one who would shout
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17

push, ram!" at the women seen wearing it.
The satire translated from the old French
reads something like this:
The Bishop of Paris is a theologian and a
PHILOSOPHER he observes that q woman Is too
foolish a hussy who puts false hair on her
head and paints herself to please the world.
The Bishop knows their failinRs and he ohas-
tises them for their pride In nnery and COM
mands in scorn of them that each person
cry out, Push, ram"
we are too slow about 1t. n we do not take
care OF ourselves from tie women we shall
be slain for they have horns to kill the men,
We may well be afraid Of such a beast; the
wisest man that is does not see at all how
to defend himself against them.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-06-17

stopping at the tavern, which was kept
by the justice. They had other business
in the neighborhood and remained for a
day or two. ,.
they were liberal in their expenditure,
and their bill amounted to a considerable
sum. When they handed over the money
the sight of it seemed to soften old Galusha's
heart, and he tried to palliate his guests
disappointment at losing their case: -.
"Ye mustn't min bout tibet case" he said
as he receipted the bill, I'm deef's a post.
r / could "a heard the evidence l mought
"a decided t'other way