The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1906-11-18
NEW COUNTRY HOUSE WAYS.
LESS FORNALITY THAN EVER ar
WEEK END VISITS.


" 'tUe HrN8U HH0 WuIIeT L4yleTN
Tipping . Much ExasSerated Evil.
The parties that come 10 New York every
Monday morning from the various country
places about the city do not consist alto
gether OF men returning after q stay IN
the country. There are often a. many
women NJ men. Thu party may be coming
in from Jersey or WestchesteT, and there
viii always be the women.
They have made IL for the present season
the fashion to return TO town with the men
when the people that have been stopping
in the country over Sunday come home.
The hostess comes along with them. This
same party win in all probability be found
later in the day taking luncheon At some
Of the large restaurants. Only the men
will be missing 9
This is one Of the fashions made by the
waning season Of country house life. There
are others that have developed this year.
Some Of them are revolutionary.
Il must say ] cannot quite yet used 10 tho
abolition of the bread and butter letter
q rather mature hostess said the other
day. Blu IL would he absurd to expect
people TO send il to-day and consider them
rude II they did not. The departing guest
expects to zee you so soon or viii invite you
to lunch or dine with him 40 soon that he
hoes not consider IL necessary to send you
the old fashioned note telling you how
much he enjoyed his stay. Even women
rave ceased to do IL. The bread and butter
letter, however. was a very polite II old
fashioned institution. Those carly Vic
torian habits were courteous and uuains
in their day.
There are other change which il is a
little hard to get accustomed tn. IL 10
always a mild shock to me TO 60 out of the
house and leave my guests alone, l know
it's done at N~ewTort, hut down here on
Long Island we ere less advanced socially.
u IL, of course, inn ossible 10 take all your
GUESTS ont N 9 dinner. and sometimes there
are not dinners enough for s1l Of them.
Last week 6 friend telephohed NE she was
going to keen an engagement TO dine with
me thst hid been made several weeks
before end wanted 10 know If ] could take
ten Of her guests TO dinner that night. IL
was out of the question. hsd invited
twenty persons. aud I might have provided
for four or five more, but ten were not 10
be thought of. so | had 70 tell her to bring
only four. The other six hsd to dine AZ
home alone, although | don't believe they
minded il.
Then there are the ARA gem ents that
the guests make before they arrive. I had
q man dow n here lest week from Friday 10
Monday, and he only took dinner with us
once. When his friends in the county
he, rd he was coming down 70 us they al
invited him to their houses, and the result
was he had very little time for us. We all
breakfast in our rooms. 40 we FIRST meet
at lunch. He was away twice to lunch, so
We really saw very little OF one another.
Guests Ike that are never in danger OF
paling on their hosts. On the other hand,
they make it possible for VS. to go OF end
leave them without compunction-or AZ
least without too much conjunction.
THE most announcement kind of a guess
is the one who wants to he looked out for.
So many persons now make their own
plans for enjoying themselves when they
visit in the country that they do not want
to be looked after. There was a woman
at the place next to ours last week who
did not want to do a thing that the rest OF
the party was about 10 do or that her hos
tess had arranged for her. One night when
the hostess was going TO a dinner that she
had accepted weeks before this woman
refused point blank to go TO the house az
which the rest Of the party was TO dine.
She looked just as unhappy at the slgges-
ton that she should dine alone at home.
"fOh, dom mind me- she said, i think
III run into town for fine evening. Just
let me have one Of the motors, or q they
are all in use send me TO the train. have
one or two things TO do up in town anyhowi
and il will suit me perfectly
She went up to town and as she was
fortunate enough to get the Use Of q motor,
she was able to come back the same night.
Even that independence ia preferable to
the helplcssnees OF the woman that sits
and looks at you as II IL was your duty to
be doing something for her smueement
every minute. I've had women like that in
the house until l felt haunted by their
presence"
II hostesses do not now allow their own
pleasures to be interrupted by the presence
of guests, the visitors have their own OPP
n0rfnnifV tn amuaQ fhanaplyna. AhOlItt
New York the visitors At the big country
houses are nearly all acquainted. A hostess
need only say that she wants some OF her
party invited to one house and some to an-
other when she has her own engagements-
TIKI guests are certain 10 find themselves
among friends. Sunday or other week
days on which there are enough men 10
make sports count. the days programme In
always comprehensive enough to please any
taste.
Telephones are another issue in country
houses which have not long existed. They
have raised the question which lever
troubled the Victorian hostess.
Il do think IL Is carrying the thing a little
too far for a woman to telephone to Chicago
twice in three days said a Westchester
hostess who had been through this ex-
perienoe, "just to find out how her husband
had enjoyed himself at the horse show.
1t used to be etiquette TO make at least
some sort Of a protest but that ID now gu
in which the host has put up by the tele-
phone a notice that il cannot be used for
long distance calls by any but the family.
That was done especially to hold in check Q
woman who had a mania for calling up
persons at remote points Of the map. II
she was playing bridge and happened TO
be dummy. she could. not keep her seat!
but must run UP to telephone somebody a
long distance OF. She became the laughing
stock OF the county and rather an expensive
one.
Tipping the servants has also come u
be q recent issue in some country houses.
A hostess on the Hudson has in every room
a sign requesting that the guests shall.
give the servants no tips. happen to
know, however, that most persons b 60
there do pay them for the extra service
they may render. Servants fees are
nothing like they are usually described.
On hears the sums paid To them by v~isitorss
which are not true in one case out OF ten.
In England one has much more TO pay.
Here, the man who goes TO stop in the
country. say from Friday until Monday,
has 10 pay only the man who looks after
his room and his clothes. The average