Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1906-04-13
"THELAW AND ORDER MAN"
By. h. G. Bunner.

1t was a Law and Order man in a small suburban town,
And this i. the tale of his going up and the tale of his coming down.
He was a most respectable man, and led a respectable life;
He was diigent in his business, respectable to his wife
His neghbors all respected him, and his children loved him duly;
He taught his class in Sunday school without being Sundayschoohy.
But it happened one day that he came home on a specially early train
And caught Il tramp who tried to decamp with a ladys watch and chain.
Unaided did he arrest that tramp, unaided he ran him ii
And at that point, regret to say, his triumph and trouble begin.
His neighbors gathered to praise him, and they gathered from all around
And they told him such a man as he was mfrequenty to be found.
And they got up a Law and Order League and made him President
And told him to go on his glorious way, and ON that way he went
It's impossible quite to tell the good that man went in to do,
But of some of the things he certainly did, We cnumerate a few.
He shut the saloons up one and all, and the Sunday barber shops,
And he sent a aged druggist to Jail for selling extract of hops;
He stopped fast driving on all the roads, and, not content with that,
He had a teamster arrested for hitting a mule with his hat.
He rebuked a lady cycist who appeared in a bloomer rig;
And he might have had her arrested, too, if her husband had Mt been big,
He fixed it o that on Sunday morn at neither shop nor bar
Could the smoker get a cigarette II even a mild cigar
For a boy who was stealing apples, he got ten days in Jail,
Which also he got for another boy who was fetching his fathers ale
He abolished poker parties and whist at a dime a point,
And the local club dsbanded when he called it a gamblers joint.
In fact, there was nothing he didn't dc, and nothing he left undone
Till his town became the moralest town that existed under the sun,
And then he just suggested in a delicate sort of way
That he thought the Law and Order League ought to notice his work some
day
So they got up a small subscription, for somehow it befell
That by this time the virtuous league wasn't hourShng quite so we'll
And they gave him a testimonial, engrossed in the height of art,
That all might see that only he had the coed of the town at heart;
They gave it with beautiful speeches, those few stauneh me and true
Let it be understood they were 81 blamed good they were necessarily few.
And they told him he was the best of men, and he knew it beyond a doubt;
And the speeches were made and the lemonade was drunk and our man went
For he heard the populace gather and he heard the popuace shout.
Oh, that was a great assemblage out in the public square
He would never have known how the town had grown if he had not seen it
there.
He saw the druggist-the barber there: he saw unshaven men,
He saw the humble vendor of beer, and several others-and then
He was seized by a score of willing hands, and his cheeks began to pale,
As they hoNed him high without telling him why and set him astride a rail.
Yes, they took that tootoo vmtuous man, the moral townships pride,
And on the humiEating raj! they gave him a painful ride;
And they gave him a ticket to Somewhere Else, and they saw that he got
there, too
And went pacdly back on their moral track to the things they used to do.