davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1906-01-13
JUST HOW BAD DENNIS is.
He Would Wake a Man Up During
Night to Advise Him How to
Get More Sleep.

They we're riding down town on
an early morning car, and occu
pied the back platform, with their
picks, shOvels and tobacco smoke.
They pulled at the regulation
short.stemmed black pipes, and
they were Enthusiastically Hiberni
ans. One of them was short,
weazen-faced and grizzly; the
other was large and rOtund, with
reddish hair covering his arms and
throat.
"Oi nivver did like Dinnis,"
squeaked the little man above the
thumpety-thump of the fat wheel.
"He's no good" grunted the big
one in assent.
"He ta-a-alks too much" con-
tinued the other, waving his pipe.
"Hedo,p commented the brawny
one.
Gle talks all the time"
Nod.
can it's always giyin' yez ad.
vice he is"
More mods.
"He gives yez advice advice, al.
vice all the time" continued the
short man, warming to his work
can he don't nivver stop. Why
he said, impressively, tapping thu
other on the shoulder, "thot nor
Dinnis would wake yez up in ths
middle Of the night to tell yez how
to git more shlapeD
And he puffcd his pipe again re
aectiYely while the car whizzed on
ward.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1906-01-13
Curious oossnck Customs.

Many queer customs and usages
are prevalent among the Cossacks
of the Don. No man changes his
clothing on Monday. If he did it
ia believed that he would suffer
from a severe skin disease. On
Thursday no fat or flesh must be
picked or corned. If anyone neg
lected this his meat would be full
of worms in a fortnight. Wool is
not spun on a holiday, else the
cattle will sicken and die. Aheni is
always given an uneven number Of
eggs to hatch, never an even mum.
Der. Bones left from a dinner at
a funeral are thrown into the riv.
er, else the dead will appear ia
the living in fearful shape; and at
the same meal no one dare cut
bread-it must always be broken
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1906-01-13
yearly CongumptiOn Of LiquOr.


For eight years we have been
consuming not only absolutely but
relatively more spirits than the
year before. The lowest cOnsump-
ton of 1.01 gallons per capita was
reached in 1896. Since that time
the consumption has steadily
mounted until the latest figures
show 1.4S gallons, an increase Of
AS per cent. The consumption Of
beer in the same time has in
creased only Is per cent. In the
same eight years total abstinence
has become more and more regard.
ed as a business asset. Railroad
companies and commercial houses
in constantly increasing mum.
bers require it, while the area in
which the sale of intoxicants is
prohibited by law is larger thar
ever before. Despite the increased
consumption of liquor there is no
reason to believe that intemper.
ance has increased. Detroit Free
Press,
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1906-01-13
Briefly THE CONDITIONS Is THIsI

The Southwest Is really In need OF nothing
save people. More men are wanted. In the
Southwest are vast areas OF unimprovedland
land not yielding the crops Of which 1t Is
capable. The same thing. in q different way,
Is true OF the towns. Few lines Of business
are adequately represented. There are open
ings of all sorts-form mills and manufacturing
plants, for small stores OF fall kinds. for banks,
newspapers and lumber yards. Mechanics
and professional men, both are In demand.
We are in possession Of all SORTS Of infor.
nation valuable alike to the investor and
homeseeker. II you are interested. tell Us
what you want, how much you have to invest.
and we will gladly furnish the information.
Write today for a copy Of our book Business
Chances" It's free. Address
TTR sEoRGE MORrOn,
INlA e.as1l PssssnUf snt T.Asl Av,aA
&6 ST. LOUIS, NO.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1906-01-13
Nose jag from Norway.

The Norwegian papers describe
how a new method of getting
drunk has become popular among
the lowest classes in Christiania,
a would-be drunk flls the palm Of
his hand with aqvavit, which is a
very strong corn brandy, and
shifts it up through his nose.
This is repeated several times,
though once is sufficient to render
q man intoxicated. Nose drink
ing has become a real vice, says
the Orebladet. The effect is ter.
rible because the whole nervous
system is p~aralyzed IN a moment
and the drunkard remains almost
unconscious for several minutes
A flan4rSrI fbn.ae -. a. rInnAw fn4tXr1
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1906-01-13
SHE CLEARED THE FIELD.
Widows Daughter Whose Mothers
Matrimonial Inclinations Are
in the Way Uses Ruse.

1t was evident that the hand.
some widows pretty daughter
meant business when she entered
the Office Of the old bachelor. She
walked straight up to his desk
and said in a business-like way
that she wanted a few minutes
private conversation with him,
says Judge.
with pleasure he replied, get
ting up closing the door and offer
ing her a chair. "What is the ma
ture of your business?"
SWELL" she returned, with the
business-like air that the girl of
to-day seems to have acquired
with the rest of her education, "to
come right down to facts I've no.
ticed you hanging around the
house a good deal lately"
The old bachelor was startled.
"I-why-I"-
30, / suppose you think it's none
of my business" she interrupted;
"but there's where you make your
mistake. l didn't spend three
years in a boarding school for
nothing. know what l am abou:
and l know if l am going to get
married now is the time"
"But l never had thought Of
"Getting me" put in the pretty
daughter, finishing his sentence.
"Well, l should hope not. If |
couldn't do better than that at my
age / wouldn't be trying to hurry
things along. You're after my
mother-that is, you're after heI
in an easy-going, half-hearted
sort Of way; but you seem to for
get that by hanging off this way
you are hurting my chances"
"Why l don't see"
"That's because you're a bach
elor. She's just young enough
and handsome enough, as widow
60, not to give me any kind of
chance as long as she's in the field
She appropriates everybody t.
herself and / have to sit in thu
background and do nothing while
valuable time is skipping away
Now if you want her 60 and get he
and take her away, and if yo'
don't, say so and stand aside. !
isn't fair to me to tie things u
this way, and ! don't propose t
stand it. You can either put o.
your hat now and go up and Sc
her or declare yourself out of IL
running, for I'm going to make
chance for myself in the matr.
monial market, even if | have t
kidnap her and marry her off b.
force"
The bachelor put on his hat an.
went out. If he could do a goo
turn for the widow, the daughte
and himself all at one time he fel
that he ought not to delay actor
And he didn't.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1906-01-13
To the ~HOmaseekaF,

Through the NJ. x. s. T. Land Bureau.
thousands OF acres OF rich farm lands Tim
proved and unimproved). located along the
line Of the Missouri, Kansas & Texas R'y in
Missouri, Kansas. Indian Territory. Okla
homa and Texas, are now offered for sale.
The lands are especially adapted to the
growth Of corn, wheat, oats, fruits. vege-
tables, rice, cotton, sugar cane and for stock
farming. The lands are well located as to
markets. schools. etc.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1906-01-13
Are You
Looking Ahead?

To the man looking ahead the Southwest
has an urgent invitation. The opportunity
is today when investment chances are good
and homes can be purchased at from one
tenth to one-half the prices asked in the
North and East.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1906-01-13

"Is he as forgetful as ever?v
"More so. He has to look him
self upin The directory every night
before he goes home from bust
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-10-20
Is the Moon Inhabited

Science has proven that the moon
has an atmosphere, which makes life
in some form possible on thatsatel1ite
but not for human beings, who have
hard enough time on this earth OF
cure; especially those who don t
know that Electric Bitters cure Head
ache Biliousness, Malaria. Chills. and
Fever, Jaundice, Dyspepsia, Dizzi-
ness, Torpid Liver. Kidney complaint
General Debility and Female weak
nesses. Unequaled as a general Ton
ic and Appetizer for weak persons
and especially for theaqed. 1t in
duces sound sleep. Fully guaranteed
by all druggists. Price only soc. Oct
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-10-20
WHAT MADE THE CONNER
GAL COLLEGE OF MEM
PHIS, TENN, FAMOUS?

The wonderful, modern Byrne sys-
TENS of shorthand and bookkeeping,
by which they are enabled to give
their students in half the usual time,
a more thorough ard practical train
ing for the business world than can
be had elsewhere; their thorough sys-
tenn, their business like discipline,
their moral training, the special work
given in literary subjects free OF
charge, their excellent faculty of ex-
perts. their completely equipped en-
ployment bureau, through which po~
sitions are secured for their graduates
free OF chareg. their reasonable charg-
es for tuition, their excellent facilities
for securing good board with private
families at q low rate, etc. If interest
ed Ia a course OF bookkeeping, bust
ness training, shorthand or typcwrit-
ing, write this famous institution for
one Of their large beautifully illus
trated catalogs. When you have read
II through, you will understand why
they have such an annual enrolment
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-10-20
South Bound.

Train No. III leaves 3:45 p. m. River
Side Local Mail
Train No. I35 arrives 200 p. m. from
Vicksburg via Leland.
Train No. I35 arrives o:55 a. m, from
Cleveland via Rosedale.
Train No. I4I arrives $50 from Roll
ing Fork via Leland.
Train No. I43 arrives 1910 p m.
rom Leland.
Train No. I42 connects at Leland
with Train No. IA Trains Nos. Is and
Il have best equipment, vestibule
coaches and Pullman Parlor cars be-
tween vicksburg and Memphis. Close
connections made at New Orleans
and Memphis with dive. ging roads.
6. B. RUCKS, T. A.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-10-20
BRIDGE NOTICE
State OF Mississippi.

State Of Mississippi
Washington County
BY virtue Of an order. made by the
Board OF Supervisors of said County.
sealed bids are invited TO be filed with
the undersigned Clerk. on or before
r o'clock. noon. on Monday. the 9Th
day OF November. 1906, for general
repairs to the Percy and Lusby
bridges. across Deer Creek, in said
Comfy; The bids TO be submitted at
so much per 1000 feet Of timber placed
in said bridges. For further partic-
ulars. sec the undersigned.
The Board reserves the right to re-
ject any and all bids.
Witness my signature this 9Th day
Of October. 1906
T H. HOOD. Clerk.
Io-6-4t
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-10-20
Y. & NJ. ". z. r. TIME TABLE
North Bound

Train No. II leaves 80 a. m, North
ern Express
Train No. III leaves Io:45 a. m, Riv-
er Side Local Mail.
Train No. 1856 leaves $40 a. m, for
Vicksburg via Leland.
Train No. 1873 leaves 2:3o p. M, fol
Cleveland via Rosedale.
Leland.
Train No. IA leaves AIS p. m, fol
Rolling Fork via Leland
Train No. Is leaves o:48 p. m. South
ern Mail
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-10-20
Devils Island Torture

is no worse than the terrible case OF
Piles that afflicted me 10 years. Then
I was advised to apply Bucklen's Ar
MICA Salve, and less than a box per-
menently cured me, writes L. S. Ma
pier, of Rugles. KY. Heals all wounds
burns and sores like magic. CSC at
all druggists. Oct.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1906-10-20
Fisher, Ark, June ?, 1906.

Il9iCl, ~ *, J uiie :, 1000
After nine days study Of the Byrnc
Simplided Shorthand in the Memphis
Commercial Colleg. ! wrote T25 words
per minute; in four weeks TO, and in
FIVE weeks and two days, / finished
the course. writing 2o2 words, unfa-
niliar matter-court reporting. |
knew nothing whatever OF the Byrne
system Of shorthand, nor did I TN
derstand any other system. on enter
ing the Memphis Commercial College.
I conscienGously recommend the
Memphis Commercial College as a
thorough, practical and reliable in
stitution.
Webb Williamson.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-28

and more descriptive name, the Guar anteed Increased Endowment; and the Reduced Premium Life under it's new name, Life with Reduced Premium af- ter 20 years"
 One noteworthy passage relates to the company's liberal policy of distrib- uting dividends and benefits not con templated in it's contracts with policy holders. President Hegeman asks his agents to note that This year the com- pany has been disbursing the enormous sum of about two millions of dollars in voluntary dividends upon non -partici- pating Industrial pollc1es, bringing the total amount of unpromised dividends in twelve years to about ten millions of dollars to Industrial policy holders in the form of dividends on premiums, dividends on death claims and increases of benefits upon existing policies" He adds: We have been enabled to accomplish this work all these years by steady improvements in business meth ods, by steady extensions of business territory, by steady additions to insur- ance in force, by watchfulness in wri- ting and taking care of business, re- sulting in a decreasing death rate, de- creasing lapse rate and decreasing eX- pense rate. These improvements we have announced to you from year to year, but perhaps from this very fact th;ir gradual steady progressiveness- you have failed to grasp their full sig ntfcance. Yet year by year we have | 101 ot t0 to improve the dsath rate, to better the policies, to distribute the surplus, so that each year a larger proportionate amount could be returned to policy-hol- ders and @ smaller proportionate 1 amount used in expenses"
 He goes on to say that although the [ year Is not ended, the records show from July to data December 1st), that the company's increase of Industrial busi- < ness exceeded the increase of any pre- yious year with the exception of two, that in the Ordinary LAfla Department the business of September equalled that of September, 1905, while October and November showed a large increase, and December promises to be reccrd breaker" Further he says:
 Taking the last six months for com parison--June to November, inclusive you wrote more Ordinary than ever was written by the company In the cor responding months, and exceeded 1905 by over six millions and half, and this it must be remembered by more than three thousand less men"
 Other matters discussed in the an . nouncenent are no less interesting than those referred to in this brief re- view. The entire paper is commended as an educational and timely contribu- tion to insurance literature
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-28
"A HoR SEE ON HIM.

There is no more popular citizen of his walk of life" who keeps a carriage in the Elm City than the genial Dr, James H. Kelly. As a Past Exalted Ruler of the local lodge of sElks and 8 frequent delegate to the annual con- ventions of the order, his popularity has extended beyond the confines of the Nutmeg state To say that he was formerly an official umpire of league baseball and Is neither crippled or scared, certifies to his integrity and rare judgment. A Boston Elk, upon af1liating with R. P. o. F., No. 25, be- came acquainted with the several doc tors, and not feeling over well at a so- cial session, complained to Dr. IF. J.. Brothers, another Past Exalted, who explained:
 I'm dentist; you'd better consult pr. Kelly"
 The ailing brother followed the ad- vice and stated his case with the re- mark: My trouble seems to be chron- ic."
 ! from Goston followed the direction on the bottle to rapid and complete recov- cry. Shortly after the former invalid dropped in on Brother Tom Maher, the newsman, who remarked his improved appearance;
 "Cured!" exclaimed the visitor.
 "Who treated you?' asked Maher.
 ''Dr Kelly; Brother James H. Kelly. '
 '-Why, he's veterinary!" exclaimed 1 the newsman.
 "Veterinary!" returned the once chronically afflicted, bolting out and al- most running over Dr. Kelly on the sidewalk. After an apology he blurted: '"Tom Maher says that you are horse doctor!"
 Dr. Kelly simply responded; You are cured, aren't you?" The ex-patient nodded assent and the equine physician remarked. "Well, that is a horse on Noul'-Charles H. Day in the Boston Herald.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-28
DIR WALTER HUDSON.

The funeral of Dr. Walter Judson was seld yesterday afternoon from his late residence, 1145 Chapel street, at 2:3O o'clock. Rev. Artemas J. Haynes, pastor of the United church, officiated, making remarks befltting the sad occa- sion. Rev. Dr. William w. Leete, pas tor of the Dwight Place church, offered an impressive prayer. The funeral was attended by many men of prominence, and the New Haven Medical associa- ton was represented by a delegation. At the close opportunity was given all to take the last look at the face of the departed. There were beautiful floral offerings in tribute to the deceased, The bearers were Dr. Francis Bacon, pr. A. E. Winchell, Dr. Gustavus Eliot and Dr. Joseph H. Townsend. The in torment was in Evergreen cemetery,
 The late Dr. Judson joined Hiram lodge No. 1, A. F. and A. M,, June 12 1873. at which time the late Alfred J Bethell was worshipful master and w A. Beers secretary. His wife was the daughter of the late Dr. Samuel Nal lett, a noted dentist of this city. Mrs Judson died several years ago.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-28
These Little Pyramids Positively Cure Piles.

them as you directed, and to-day I bought another 5Oc, box. Gentlemen, candidly speaking, I am telling you the truth, that I am feeling fine after using one soc. box, and I am free from pain at present. I sincerely be- lieve it Is one of the best and grandest piles cures in the world, I would ad- wise all sufferers to try the Pyramid Pile Cure, for it is the best remedy ever used. It is a sure cure. I am very thankful for the sample you sent me.
 The Pyramid Pile Cure is a godsend to ths sufferer of piles and know it. ''
 We want every man or woman--who suffers from piles not to wait another day before writing us whether you have the money or not. We are confident that our treatment will cure you no matter what the progress of your dis ease if you will use it. We are so anx- lous to cure every piles sufferer that we will send one sealed trial package of the Pyramid Pile Cure free upon re- ceiving your name and address.
 This trial treatment will reduce the swelling, relieve the congestion, irrita- tion and itching, and soothe the ulcer ous sores. If you will continue with the use of the remedy we can assure you a positive remedy without interruption of your business, or the restriction ol your diet and without expense. Pyra- mid Drug O., "A Pyramid building Marshall Mich.
 The Pyramid Pile Cure is sold in 5t ! cent packages at all druggists.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-28
OBITUARY NOTES.
Death of Dr. Beckwith Yesterday Fore

Following closely the deaths of pr. Walter Judson and pr. Timothy H. Bishop, Dr. Frank Edwin Beckwith passed away at his residence, 139 Church street, at Il o'clock yesterday morning, of cerebral hemorrhage. Dur ing his short illness he had the attend ance of his physician, Dr. T. H. Rus sell, and of Drs. William G. Daggett, Samuel D. Gilbert and c. Purdy Linds- ley, who were called in consultation.
 Dr. Beckwith was a native of Nor wich and was about ffty-nine years old. Since the time of his retirement from professorship in the Yale Medical school he had been devoted to his pri- vate practice. He was president of the New Haven Medical association in 1884, and was also member of the New Haven County and the Connecti- cut Medical associations. He was one of the directors of the New Haven hos pital and one of the attending physi- clans. He was a member of Center church. Dr. Beckwith's wife, who was Miss Rachel Hunter, died in 1894 in Switzerland and was buried there.
 The hour of the funeral has not yet been designated, as relatives have not yet been heard from.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1906-12-28
DMPoRoTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

Of the Metropolitan Life Insurance Co.,.
 What is in many respects the most informing and significant paper issued by any life insurance company during the present year has just appeared over the signature of John R. Hegeman, president of the Metropolitan Life. While the communication is addressed to the company's agents, and is in the nature of g. review and announcement covering matters chiefly interesting to the field force, 1t deserves attentive reading by every one who holds or in- tends to secure life insurance policy, It appears that the Metropolitan Life has for some time been engaged in the preparation of new mortality tables" based upon it's own experience. By comparison of given periods in recent years with corresponding periods in former years, back to 1890, the fact is established that among the company's s policy-holders there has been suff1cGant improvement in mortality (that is, a smaller average of deaths at various ages) to warrant certain changes affec' ting future prlmiums and benefits, all directly in the interest of those insured in the company With characteristic thoroughness and frankness these re- suits and changes are specified in mi mute detail, not put forth as "esti- mates of vague promises.
 Their significance to the insuring public is a reduction in the price of in surance in the Industrial Department and through a readjustment of rates ot commissions to agents, reduction of premiums charged in the Ordinary De l partment.
 Concerning the policies to be issued 1T 1907 this information is given:
 "Our new policies will be found most attractive In form ana even more at- tractive in substance. They contain all of the advantages and concessions which we can afford to give and which ! the public have the right to expect The surrender values will be found tc ! be generous and talks the optional forms of extended insurance, paid-ur insurance and cash. They are the
 standard forms of the New York De partment, the work of experts whicI
 has legislative approval, They are U plain bo the understanding as they car be made. We have discontinued man! plans as unnecessary. We shall issu
 Ordinary Life, Limited Payment, En dowment and Term plans, and we hav, applied for permission and hope to is
 sue in addition three plans which tht public have stamped with their appro
 val-namely, the Optional Life or En dowment, under new name, the Modi
 fled Endowment with Life Option; tn, 1 Guaranteed Dividend, also under a neE