The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1906-12-14

Policeman Barney Flynn was griev-
ously troubled by a youth of the name
of Horatio Mann. Horatio was we'll
meaning young fellow, but he had err
roneous ideas. He had read dime
novels until he had become imbued
with the idea that detective is the
greatest of created beings, and it was
his ambition to be one. Hence his adj
miration for Flynn. He had heard
stories of the policeman's prowess, and
he haunted him. He wanted to know
all about his methods and his exploits,
and more than all else he wanted the
policeman to get him position on the
force or with some detective agency.
81 know I'm just made for a detec-
tive" he said frequently. "All my in
clinations lie in that direction, and I
revel in mystery"
1t will be seen from this that Horatio
spoke reasonably correct English. In
deed, he had had fair education, the
only trouble being that it had not
worked in" However, as Policeman
Flynn once remarked, ga ma-an can
get book-larnin' amy time iv his life,
but t is not with sinse, FIR sinse do
be a nach'ral gift" Horatio had the
book-learning, but he lacked the
sense, and this it was that made him
so annoying to the policeman. He
could not be persuaded that the life
of detective was not one long ro-
nance, filled with DISCUSSES, thrilling
adventures and fabulous rewards. He
would make himself up in the most
wonderful and outlandish way, and
then drop in on Flynn to ask if that
would not fool the cleverest "crook."
Later he amused himself by shadow
ing people in the neighborhood, and
writing out reports of his work"
which he submitted to Flynn for APP
prevail or criticism.
aye wa-ant me FIR to help We to be
daytictive?" said Policeman Flynn to
him one day. "M-m-m, well"-draw-
ing his hand over his chin in the old
familiar way-"I'll tell we what I'll do
FIR We. I'll give We tn polls ixamina-
ton an see how we come out. IT is not
ye-er pla-an FIR to star-art in as a
pathrolman, iv coorse?"
ooh, no." answered the youth. ri
feel that my talents are above that"
COT is what I supposed" said Po-
liceman Flynn. 9Th woods is full iv
la-ads like you. Some Nv thin wa-ants
to be prisidint iv r-railroad, some iv
thin wa-ants to be editor iv news
pa-aper, some iv thin wa-ants to be
gin'ral manager iv amy OF business
that's big enough, but most iv them
wa-ants to be day-tictives. Amy way
We put it, they can do betther than tn
fellies that's doin' tn work. now.
But It is shtrange thing to me that
tn min that's maxim na-ames f'r thin
silves at tn top is niver tn vans that
sta-arted in up there. Did We liver
think iv that?"
moo, can't say that did," replied
the youth.
CIV coorse not" said Policeman
Flynn, IAN We w'u'd MT think tn
r-rule was f'r We if We did. IT is not
nicissary in ye-er ca-ase. Ye're too
sma-art. Well, mebbe so. Well thry
1t on. livery la-ad that wants to be a
day-tictive has to be Examined, an I'll
put few QUESTIONS to We. Suppose We
was In cha-arge iv tn day-tictive
work. an big burglary was COM
mitted, what w'u'd we do?"
'Id look for clue" answered
Horatio, promptly and confidently.
81 can see We dom it," asserted Po-
liceman Flynn with chuckle. 81 can
see We goin' through tn pla-ace, an
lookin' wise, an gettin' down on ye-er
knees f'r to Examine a bit iv mud
through a magnifyin'- glass, an thin
goin' out an measurin' tn thracks in
tn mud with fut-rule. / can hear
ye saying, This great crime was
committed be ma-an with large fut
an a nail shtickin' out Nv wan shoe.
1T is only nicissary now FIR to find tn
shoe an artist tn ma-an.' Ohio! ye'd
ma-ake a great day-tictive, FIR sure. "
'Ts not that what you'd do?" asked
Horatio.
"T'm not ta-alkin' iv what I'd do"
returned Policeman Flynn. I'm
ta-alkin' Nv what tn great day-tic-
tive does. If we was a r-real day-tic-
tive an had this work. fr to do, ye'd
go to tn pla-ace an lux wise, an thin
ye i go back an ordher tn dhrag-net
put out. livery ma-an that c'u'd ha-ave
done it an lots that c'u'd MT w'u'd be
brought in an"
Arrested" interrupted Horatio.
"Fvr sure" replied Policeman Flynn.
eBut what right would you have to
arrest pecels against whom you had no
evidence?''
who's ta-alkin' Nv rights?" retorted
Policeman Flynn 'T'm te-alkin' iv tn