The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1906-05-18
A GREAT MACHINE.

Are you the edltor2" bashfull,
asked the queer looking individual a
he approached the desk. His hat wa
in his hand and there was no manu-
script visible II this were a bill col
lector he would have called him b!
name, the editor argued to himself. 81
he acknowledged that he was th'
editor.
Il have a machine for producing
newspapers" the genius began with
out preamble. and have come to sci
you one"
The genius either forgot or lost bis
bashfulness and his eyes blazed viii
enthusiasm. The editor pricked up hil
ears.
This machine does away with re-
porters. editors, compositors and al
most everything else in the editorial
and mechanical departments OF a
newspaper. except for one guiding
hand DO not think that have done
this all myself II IS the result OF
years OF experimenting. and I have
come more nearly perfecting It than
my predecessors. that Is all The idea
originated with Horace Greeley and
has been In the course OF perfection
ever since he began n. | am prepared
now to furnish Sunday editions COM
plete. but I have not yet compiled
enough matter TO handle all the news
II will not be long. however before
this feature will be added, and I am
sure that by the time you have ac-
customed yourself 10 the use Of our
Sunday machine the news machine
will be ready"
The editor now began to be fright
ened Of the enthusiastic man before
him. and he smiled pleasantly as he
reached for the police call box and
turned In the alarm. While he waited
he invited the genius 10 a chair and
continued smiling
"Of course, you know that Of all
the words there are in the English Ian
guage only about 5000 Of them are In
common use" The genius threw his
hat on a nearby desk These 5000
words can be combined into any story
that you may desire. I have dupli-
Gated all OF them in German, French.
Scotch. Irish and Swedish dialects
These are all In one machine, ar
ranged after much care so that by
the proper arranging or setting Of the
various keys you can produce any
sort OF matter you may desire Il Is
also arranged so that you can treat a
subject In any phase. The machine IS
In the form OF a linotype. and after
II is properly set II operates Itself A
proof machine composed Of a roller.
selfinking device and self-fsedlng pa
per roll, are also attached, so that the
editor merely has to know what sort
Of story he wants, sets the machine
properly and then reads his proof,
which rolls out onto HIS desk while
the makeup IS putting the casting into
the forms.
Suppose. now. you want a story
about the Kansas City Union depot.
First. you push in the key marked
Kansas City then the one marked
depot" then the one marked union
II the story is to be about the old
Union depot you push back the key
marked old II It IS to be about the
new Union depot. use the key marked
new II the story IS 10 be descrip-
tive push down that key. n historical.
use that one. II a poem use that one,
II II is an editorial push down the key
marked editorial and then the other
key marked hopeful 'dlscouraging.
enthusiastic sarcastic 'non-commit.
tai or whatsoever you please. II 300
or 500 words. set the key accordingly
Now the machine Is set for an edl-
torial on the Kansas City Union
depot See that the metal and heat
are In good working order. release the
machinery and light your pipe. Pretty
soon the proof Of the article will be-
gin 10 come cut Of the machine. much
after the manner Of a ticker. In
short time there will be in your hand
an editorial on the subject, and you
can 20 ahead with something else.
Let US suppose that a humorous
Scotch dialect story Is wante0 Set
the machine to read dialect Scotch.
humorous 800 words Turn on the
machinery and you will soon be get
ting a proof that will make you laugh
your head on. Or. II It's a Joke. set
the machine at Joke and then use
the key for 'mother.in-law,' 'automo-
bile barber animal engagement
or any Of those other subjects that are
commonly used II II is a description
Of a trousseau use the keys 'trousseau'
description complete or Gncom-
plete.' as the desire nay dictate:
frank or guarded. as may also suit
the fancy and
Ten thousand wordsl" shouted the |
editor In great excitement.
And as he raised his head from the |
desk after a long sleep he found his /
finger marking the third paragraph |
)f an article on the "Whyness Of the |
where he had been read
Ing when be fell into the doze He |
rubbed his eyes a few times and |
started reading II all over again
Kansas City Star.