The Tupelo journal., 1906-02-09
tCopyrightedl
Dilly Learns a Few Things About
Society.

Dear Uncle, SalQ lttle Dlly
glancing up in some perplexity from
the copy Of The Hornet he had beef
perusing. tell me what is society,"
Society, my dear nephew" said Un
Gle George, genially, as he carelessll
stood a blotting pad against the rather
frank outlines of a Psyche that re
posed upon the library table, "soclet.
is a curious phase of human existence
which has no reasonable excuse for be
ing other than to furnish a livelihood
to some altogether undeserving person:
who would better be forced to go tt
work. In other words, MY boy, so
ciety is but a federation and has nj
real status other than what it makes
itself.
.Once upon a time it was alleged tt
be a collection of men and women OF
extreme culture and learning, wht
banded together to boost mankind III
a couple of intellectual notches, bu'
to-day the designation is altogether
reversed. Instead of being cultured
society folk are rude and finicky. In
stead of being learned, they are some
what hollow tanked, and instead o
using the elevator, they putthe reverst
English on brains
do not persons of massive intellec'
gambol in society, dear uncle? In
quired little Dilly.
Not so you could notice it," replied
Uncle George. "The terms are not bj
any means synonymous. 1t would bt
fatal to social success to have the &C
cusation of mentality brought agains'
one. In other words, billy, if yor
would enter society you should take
a primary course in the nearest ABSURD
mansion. Society, however, serves
great and good purpose. 1t is wrong
to cavil at it. and we should frowI
upon every attempt TO do away witt
social functions. The licentious press
billy. occasionally aims a bitter blow
at society. but society does not care
two whoops in Gehenna, for it re
allies its divine purpose, which. my
boy, is that noble profession of making
the world laugh heartily. To be con
else, my dear boy, society is the low
comedian of life, and is permitted te
draw a comfortable salary for its la
bors.
81 like to go to Newport in the
summer, Dilly, for there | see much
to amuse me. ! realize at once that
Newport is the national safety valve
and that without it many of us would
go down to u graves without smil
ing. Cruel persons have limited thai
social usage is a blow at our vested
equality in life and a punch in the eye
to our national freedom, but this is
not true. Had we no society we would
know little of the habits of the SINH
ans, and all DR.. Gamers work would
be in vain. So closely is society
aping DR.. Gamers proteges, my dear
nephew. that shortly we may expect tC
see the higher lights of that circle
rising Intellectually to the dizzy
heights where they will be able tc
climb rainpipes and ask for pennies.
ct is at Newport that society is
freest in it's scorn for the conven
tionalities, but one need not confine
oneself to Newport, for any really un
respectable resort will answer all pur
poses. There n may see the care
free devotees of fashion exhibit them
selves with all the abandon of an
unrestrained lack of vitality. Would
YOU wish to observe the very latest
thing in a travelling companion? &C
to the nearest resort and gaze or
Mrs. ~Stuyvesant De We're as she rolls
haughtily along with her pet pedi
greed porker. dressed in a diamond col
lar and an ermine bib, at her side"
But. dear uncle asked little Dill
ly sare not the members of society
supposed to pose as an example to the
common people?"
Undoubtedly, my dear nephew
said Uncle George. "They are sup
posed to pose as an example, but there
are various kinds of an example
Most frequently it is an example thai
gets sidetracked and winds up with
a brutal crash on the pavement Of
publicity. But there, we should no
be bitter to these poor people. Were
if not for their openhanded generosity
many publications that are issued
weekly would never survive the frs
financial frost. To my mind there il
no more elevating spectacle than tt
see the editor of the society weekly
calling upon the cotillon leader at ar
early morning hour. The editor is {
manly person, with all the human
graces stamped upon his face. Tht
cotiilon leader is somewhat distrai
and is attired in a yellow bathrobt
with carpet slippers on his feet. One
watches carefully and listens intently
and hears the editor remark that il
was a beautiful night for a drive, tt
which the cotillon leader petulantly
agrees. whereupon the editor inquiries
delicately. for the health of a lady
whose first name begins with Helen
and as the c~otillon leaders wife's name
is Maud. the latter hastily pushes
roll of coarse microbe-infested cur
rency into the editors hand and beg!
him to send three copies of his forth
coming book to any address he see:
fit. There are many coarse persons
billy, who would perceive a hint o.
something wrong in the transaction
but that is only the low portion o.
their minds acting without thought
The editor is a gentleman and hi
understands at once that his inquiry
was ill-timed and that he was being
reproved gently but firmly"