The Washington times., 1906-02-25

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The animals down below are, /
hear, talking of getting up glee
club 10 entertain each other during
the voyage. They certainly have
been trying their voices today. The
best singer in the lot is my little
hound Whacker, but today the goat
told him that ne would like to chal-
lenge him to 4 contest of vOcaliZa-
ton as soon as he got his voice back.
He ate a can OF red paint Thursday
and it hardened his tonsils, he says.
but when l suggested dose of tur-
pentine 10 loosen them up he Wagged
his whiskers and walked off. III
bet there's nothing the matter with
his voice at all. A little red paint
could not harm a goat,
This afternoon Pop suggested get
ting up some of the incest and most
interesting animals from the steer
age for our amusement and instruC-
ton. Ma didn't like the idea of hav-
ing them in Social Hall, as Bilhah
has named the big cabin, as it would
be setting a bad example, but we
persuaded her that il would be q
splendid way 10 overcome their ma
tural shyness and reluctance to
mingIing with human beings. So
Ham went down and rounded up a
select bunch. 1t is funny to see how
they all hesitate Wnen coming in. as
If each one feared a trap, But they
soon were at case. we learned lots
The kiwi bird was the most interest
ing. He told us how he hunts worms
and ! am going 10 try il when I so
after bait, the very next time. The
kiwi just stamps on the ground at
night and the fool worm comes up
10 see who's knocking and the bird
gets him. No more early rising for
that worm, Then We had the tapiTs,
the offers, waTt-hOgs, the Ostriches.
the gnus, the emues, and the ant
caters. but they butted in and were
not invited. One OF the boa con-
stTictOrs came. too, without being
asked.
The ant-eaIeFS that came are the
kind they call aard varks. HOmely
things but not so plain as the WaTt-
hogs. The tapirs look like pigs that
have started in to be elephants and
stopped short. They seem sad and
depressed, buJ when you set ac-
quainted with them YOU will find
that they were merely humble. yet
they are bright enough. They have
a disagreeable smile, but that dOesn [
matter much as they rarely smile
and in repOse their faces are pleas
ant The Ostriches are very stupid
and say almost nothing, but the
tapirs get off p good one sometimes.
When Zipporah remarked that she
had always supposed that tapirs
were some sort of a candle the he
tapir replied:
You cant make light OF us,
weigh nearly 700 pounds"
They might use you 10 tapir off
on says the aard vark with q
gruut.
When the aard yark's wife had
got through laughing the she-tapir
speaks and SAYS she:
IT'S pretty aaTd vark to cOmpre-
bend one like that"
He otter get SIX months in Jail
for it, added Ham
Let the animals, who know no
better. do thar sort o. thing," inter
rupted Bilhah with fine scOTn. Don
lower yourself to their intellectual
level,
4 Just saw . chance 10 Slip one
in replied Ham, rather abashed.
Sort OF Ham sandwich"
chucklcd Pop. Ma looked at him in
amazement and then the tapir said.
very softly.
He did ii 10 cmuse the company"
That's the cOm10nest pun OF all
down below," exclaimed ore of the
emuse, Indignantly. and We are
mighty tired OF it,"
We'll, We have a little Kick com
ing. too" added the ol+er. The
work that Onc of en- Us every Two
hours, They call the cround-hUe
d sausage ana the tortoise is inform
ed, about ten times a day, that the
mock-tuEtle is abroad"
y guess it is merely animal
spirits,' suggested Shem.
Animal spirits are all right III
their place, said the emu. but when
these funny pOkegs come to the tail
or birds, for instance, and ask them
10 sew buttons on the 'possum' S
pouch, it's going too far"
III print rule concerning that"
said Pop. I am glad you mention
ed it.
All this time the ostriches had
been silent, but were fussing around
the table. We paid no attention 10
them because none OF us know much
about the habit of our passengers.
but after this We viii watch them?
After a while. when things were
going pretty slow. as we didn't know
how TO entertain cur company ve--y
well, Bilhah suggested that she read
her poem, "Raindrops on the Rool''
to them.
After that the aIJ-eater said. Il
am a pretty good reciter. Suppose
] recite for your"
DO you mean TO say that YOU are
an elocutionist?" demanded the
otter.
I certainly do" replied the aard
vark.
This IS gnus to me-" exclaimed
the tapir.
That started q bitter protest from
the gnus who said that they had
hoped TO pass at least one quiet