The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-01-15
HUMOR or THE DAY

HUMOR or THE DAY
Aunt--Yes. Johnny, santa Claus bought
Johnny-Gsrelt scott, Another present
that amt any use.--Iiarper's Bazaar
II disovn you" cried the angry parent
Il shall cut you off with shilling.
Yes. sill" replied the erring son meek
", and might have that shilling now:
Now. Mr.. Green. where are you going2
Are you training for race -.
Mo- shouted Mr.. Green IN return
I'm racing for a train H'-Puek
Elderly Relative Ito school-girl)-
da, you are looking pale You must not
be too ambitious. Tell me the truth, nows
haven't you been burning the midnight
Miss Amanda cher paleness all gone
Why, yes, auntie But-out not nuen;
deed.-Detroit News.
Daughter-No, mamma Harold has not
proposed yet-that is. not IN so many
words.
wait for words. Proposals are mostly
made up of signs, gurgles, stammers,
coughs. hens, haws, and looks, you
knoW.-Punch.
A youth left instructions at a jewelers.
silop for the Inscription of an engagement
sing he had lust bought He wanted il
inscribed From Bertie to Maud" AS he
left he turned back and added. as an = =
terthought: Il shoutdn t-ah-cut Maui
TOO deep. don't you know. New York
Mail
she-I wonder why Mr. BillSins is in
love with such fat girl?
He-He's the kind OF 4 Fellow VINO llAes
to get as much for his money as possible
First Hobo-Good 'evIns. 'Ere's a nice
90
Second FIobo-wot's up now7
First Hobo-This years champagne vim
tage is a failure.-Puck.
"Er-I wan -o.ne sort Of a present for
a young lady.
Sweetheart or sister?'
..Er-why-she hasn't said which she
viii be yet.'-Judy.
A careless young woman. in starting to
leave car, dropped her purse. A young
car at the same time, saw her drop the
purse, picked 1t up and put It INTO his
But his action had not been unnoticed.
Just as he stepped from the car an ell
derby man gripped him by the arm and
to the young lady this instant III expose
YES. certainly" gasped the astonished
young man. Then, with a grin, Il beg
pardon. Elizabeth; you dropped your
purse"
oh thank you Jim, she replied as she
took i
II hope you are satisfied. said. said I'm Iim
/ is my sister. '-Phiiadelphia Press.
rs this pure miIk?" said the inquisitivs
yes, replied the milkmani. we sell the
cream separately Detroit Free Press.
I,awver-yvhere did he kiss you?
Pretty Plaintin-On the mouth, sir.
Lawyer-Eo, mol You don't understand.
[ mean where we're youE
/ PRETTY Plaintff (biuSlingl-ln his arms,
sir.-Pici-Me-Up.
HE has it, but isn't suffering"
What do you mean2"
! it's govt Madame
Teacher-wnHe. what is the plural Of
e-OIormon.-Dallas News.
IAN the lower berths are taken" said
the ticket-seller. "You'n have to take an
N'a'' Of course grumbled the professor.
There's always room at the top Chi
cago Tribune.
To-day" said the minister. Il think
you'd better take up the collection before
I preach any sermon,
Pm going to preach on Economy -
! Philadelphia Ledger.
How did our colleague acquit himself
during his trial?" inquired Senator Slye.
"Ohl he acquitted himself all right" re-
Piled Senator Sniffkins. 1T was the dod-
| rotted jury that convicted him. "-Phila-
deiphia Bulletin
Dolly-Why did Molly accept that funny
little Jingleby felloW2
Po1y-Well, you know she never could
resist a bargain And she says he looked
| so cheap when he proposed that she just
had to take him.-Cieveland Leader.
How often do your hous,naids dustg''
DO you mean how often do they fan
| the furniture" asked slapgy Mrs NJ
| Wedd, tOr how often do they skip Out2t-
Louisville Courier Journal.
Mrs Hoyle-ATy husband has something
| laid aside for Il rainy day.
Mrs. DOyle-IN bet II IS my husbands
umbrella.-San Francisco Call