Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1906-06-20
A COIN OF COURTESY
The GUINEA OF The ENGLlshmAN
ts NOT a COIN At ALL.

EsiStence, ana "a 10 Used Only In
fui"gfnation ~ a Rather Awkward
Standard OF Monetary Value.
OF all the obstacles that confront the
Englishman the guinea is the most
amazing. The other day an American
guest inquired of me, What Is n Ruin-
ear He had been asked for one by
circulating library. II seems an easy
question TO answer but as had been
puzzllng over the division OF On imagf-
nary guinea into four parts the expla-
nation took time. II was as difficult as
explaining cricket to a German-ln
German.
Show me one" said the American.
! confessed that I did not possess
one.
What, not S5.25T
Yes, but not n guinea. We don't
have guinea In England any more"
But you talk I'm gulneasr'
that's our fun" l replied lamely.
Nevertheless there Is something TO be
said for our system. Indeed. one might
argue that this incessant obstacle race
over the multiplication tables that we
have TO enter lnsures bracing OF the
muscles. We are always kept on the
alert 20 fathom the relations between a
polite. a perch and guinea or some
such absurd and fortuitous comblna-
ton. And one may suspect that this
tightening and strengthening of the
muscles in the obstacle race Is really
the source OF Englands greatness.
For all practical purposes the guinea
lin which we talks the most preDos.
tcrously absurd coin In the world. for
it does not cXist-corporeally. Some
Few honest citizens wear spade guincas
on their watch chains. But II they tried
% pass them over 10 the booking clerk
on the underground railway they would
be In danger % the Judgment. There
are no guincas In England Yes. I'm
imagination they exist.
And never moro accuse yourself OF
belonging Il an unimaginativc nation
of shDpkccpcrs, The guinea IS the coin
OF courtesy. just because Il Is not a
coin at all And It's preservation as an
anomaly Is curious proof Of the in
nate courtesy Of the Englshman. who
will face any arithmetical inconven-
iencc rather than put n slur on n
friend.
This YOU may see from the lists OF
subscriptions FOR the gentleman I'm dis
trcss. You cannot offer him the ncccs.
saries Of life When the friend falls
10y the waysidc II must be guincas. not
sovcvc.Cns. that you supply. and one
feels glad that the remarks OF the
mCJncst sport that oNists-the sport of
kings-onfcr, prizes in "sovs." II Is
merely the analogue Of that convention
which regulates gifts between equals.
Etiquette forblds your sending n
fricDd a lcg Of muiton-that Is a soy.
crcirn. the ordinary, humdrum coin.
Eut you may send him phcasants. oys.
tors. grouse or salmon. moro especially
II the salmon is the victim Of your own
rode. pole and perch" Possibly the
real explanation is that rs n matter OF
courtesy. YOU may not give a man
what he could obtain at the nearest
shop-it must be something that is not
easily obtainablc.
Now, a guinea IS not easily obtaina.
ble. and tlc difference between Offer
Ing man a guinea and offering him a
sovereign IS the difference between
sending "a man Lex OF mutton and
sending him a barrel Of oysters. That
little silly shilling stuck on 20 the SOW
CrciSn. that retention Of the ghost OF n
coin long dead and borne on Il watch
chain. with the locket containing
twist of cat-grcat-auntie's hair. was
its Significance.
IL is the embodiment of the English
mans innate idealism. II Is like the
equally silly ESD" which we tack on
the names OF friends. There are no
esquires nowadays and no guineas. but
we see them with the eye OF faith
And we sacrifice TO our faith consider
able muscular cNertion, many blobs of
/ ink and sundry shillings that might
otherwise stock our houses with cheap
reprints Of the worlds best books.
You Will naturally conclude that !
did not put this view before my Amer
lean friend. He would scarcely under
stand 1t. l led him gently 70 the pala.
tial bank promises into which l hur-
rledly cast my weekly wage for fear l
should lose II on the way home and
| pointed out 20 him lowering my voice
| diScrCctly. rs becomes the suppliant I'm
I the temple of wealthy.
Note that young man." ] said He
| is adding mp three columns of figures.
| There are guineas. things that won't
fraternize with half crowns or four
shilling pieces or forms or half sover-
/ eigns or sovercigns, but you VIII per
/ ceivc that this young man is taking
them I'm his stride. Now. what about
/ his musclcsT
u should conclude" said the Ameri
can guest thoughtfully, that n young
man who can put l. gulneas together
/ and make 'em dollars can do any
/ thing
Tho guinea" ! explained as we
went ont into Piccadilly. lis the source
| OF Encland's greatness" And the
! Amnricnn most rn1nnlned fhonrhtfnl