Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-12-20
Fut-Rule."

| Policeman Barney Flynn was griev-
ously troubled by youth of the name
of Horatio Mann. Horatio was a we'll
meaning young fellow, but he had er-
roneous ideas. He had read dime
novels until he had become imbued
with the idea that a detective is the
greatest of created beings, and it was
his ambition to be one. Hence his adj
miration for Flynn. He had heard
stories of the policeman's prowess, and
he haunted him. He wanted to know
all about his methods and his exploits,
and more than all else he wanted the
policeman to get him a position on the
force or with some detective agency.
II know I'm just made for a detec-
tive" he said frequently. "All my in
clinations lie In that direction, and
revel in mystery"
1t will be seen from this that Horatio
spoke reasonably correct English. In
deed, he had had fair education, the
only trouble being that it had not
worked in However, as Policeman
Flynn once remarked, "a ma-an can
get book-Parnin' amy time iv his life,
but t is not with sinse, f'r sinse do
be a nach'ral gift" Horatio had the
book-learning, but he lacked the
sense, and this 1t was that made him
so annoying to the policeman. He
could not be persuaded that the life
of detective was not one long ro-
nance, filled with disguises, thrilling
adventures and fabulous rewards. He
would make himself up in the most
wonderful and outlandish way, and
then drop in on Flynn to ask if that
would not fool the cleverest "crook."
Later he amused himself by shadow
| ing people in the neighborhood, and
writing out reports of his work"
which he submitted to Flynn for ap-
proval or criticism.
"Ye wa-ant me f'r to help ye to be
daytictive?" said Policeman Flynn to
him one day. "M-m-m, well'-draw-
ing his hand over his chin in the old
| familiar way-"I'll tell ye what III do
FIR ye. I'll give ye tn polls ixamina-
tion an see how ye come out. IT is not
ye-er pla-an FIR to star-art in as
pathrolman, iv coorse?"
ooh, no." answered the youth. 81
feel that my talents are above that"
CT is what l supposed" said Po-
liceman Flynn. "Th' woods is full iv
la-ads like you. Some iv thin wa-ants
to be prisidint iv r-railroad, some iv
Thin wa-ants to be editor iv news
pa-aper, some iv thin wa-ants to be
gin'ral manager iv amy OIL business
that's big enough, but most iv them
wa-ants to be day-tictives. Amy way
ye put it, they can do betther than tn
fellies that's doin' tn work. now
But t is a shtrange thing to me that
tn min that's maxim na-ames FIR Thin
silves at tn top is niver tn vans that
sta-arted in up there. Did ye liver
think iv that?"
moo, can't say that did" replied
the youth.
'Iv coorse not" said Policeman
Flynn, "an' ye w'u'd MT think tn
r-rule was f'r ye if ye did. IT is not
nicissary in ye-er ca-ase. Ye're too
sma-art Well, mebbe so. Well thry
it on. livery la-ad that wants to be
day-tictive has to be Examined, an I'll
put few QUESTIONS to ye. Suppose ye
was in cha-arge iv tn day-tictive
work. an big burglary was COM
mitted, what w'u'd ye do?"
"I'd look for clue" answered
Horatio, promptly and confidently.
81 can see ye doin it," asserted Po-
liceman Flynn with chuckle. Il can
see ye goin' through tn pla-ace, an
lookin' wise, an gettin' down on ye-er
knees fr to Examine a bit iv mud
through a magnifyin' glass, an thin
| goin' out an measurin' tn thracks in
tn mud with a fut-rule. l can hear
ye saying, This gr-reat crime was
committed be a ma-an with large fut
an nail shtickin' out iv wan shoe.
TT is only nicissary now f'r to find tn
shoe an artist tn ma-an.' Ohio! ye'd
ma-ake a gr-reat day-tictive, FIR sure.
SIS not that what you'd do?" asked
Horatio
"I'm not ta-alkin' iv what I'd do"
returned Policeman Flynn. I'm
ta-alkin' iv what tn gr-reat day-tic-
| tive does. If ye was a r-real day-tic-
| tive an had this work. FIR to do, ye'd
| go to tn plarace an LUX wise, an thin
| ye d go back an ordher tn dhrag-net
put out. livery ma-an that c'u'd ha-ave
done it an lots that c'u'd MT wu'd be
brought in an"
"Arrested?" interrupted Horatio.
"F'r sure" replied Policeman Flynn.
But what right would you have to
arrest people against whom you had no
eWsdence?"
who's ta-alkin' iv rights?" retorted
Policeman Flynn. 'Tm ta-alkin' iv tn