The Republican journal., 1906-11-29

such a bright girl as Eve SnOuIu nave
married such a marked down bargain
as Adam. He didn't know anything
till he ate that apple, and then he
didn't know so much that he had to
forget part of it. He didn't know be
had lost a rib till the school teacher
asked him how many he had, and he
reached up under his clothes and tried
to count them with his finger. But
when he told Eve that circumstances
over which he had no control made il
necessary that they move into anothe!
county, she rose up and took command
of things, and said to him, "Look here
Adam, you don't suppose that I'm
going into a strange place with nothing
to wear do your" and that remark
you have heard of immortal words
haven't you? well, those immorta
words Of Ewes have been repeated by
every wife since then, present company
of course excepted. If it had been the
other way, if Adam had offered the
apple to Eve she would have said thai
she didn't care for apples, that they
always set her teeth on edge, and the
result would have been that we shoulC
now all be sitting around dressed alike
with nothing to do, and it wouldn't
make snaps difference to us whether
steel common was up or down. Up te
that time they were satisfied ano
happy, and had better let well enough
along. A man came into my office the
other day and wanted to exchange
typewriting machines with me. l told
him | liked mine, it gave good satisfac
ton, and l didn't care to change
But" said he, "you want the best
there is, and mine is the best. y
Young man." said l, Il am older than
you are, and l have learned one or two
things, and one is, that whenever L am
perfectly satisfied and try to improve
on it invariably make fool of my.
self. think | described what kind OF
fool made of myself; but as there
are ladies present, | will not 60 into
D. rticulars here. AT any rate, my Ian
guage so impressed him that he left the
office Immediately. Sometimes Ian
guage should be like good coffee, strong
enough to mold up an egg.
l referred to the President moment
ago, which reminds me of his advocacy
of that new kind of spelling, which diff
fers from the ordinary dictionary
brand as if it were something new.
Why, if he will look over my old let
tiers, if he has kept them, he will be
delighted with my spelling. | always
differed with Webster, but l never
Dragged about it. But it was Port
land man who wore the diamond belt
for spelling. He was a grocer, and he
ordered stock of coffee, and spelled
the word k-a-u-p-h-y. Up to the present
day, that word stands in class by
itself. Probably no one ever had a
worse spell than he, and lived. There
is word of six letters, and not a cor
rect one in it. If the President OF
Andrew Carnegie can beat that, it is up
IT, them to do it.
For one reason l am glad to be away
from Maine at this time, as nearly
everybody is armed with some kind OF
deadly weapon, for it is the "Open
Season" with US. Not open in the Pro
hibition sense, but as regards the game
laws. You can now shoot anything;
deer, moose, your neighbours hens, par,
tridges, craps, guides, men, women and
children. The price for killing man
has advanced trifle, and it now costs
the same to shoot man during the
"Open Season. as it does moose in
the "Closed Season." One thousand
dollars pays the bill, either way. You
can take your choice. Under this be-
niticent law many good people are set.
thing old accounts themselves instead
of taking them into court.
A gentleman informed me the Other
day that if would take a large map OF
Maine and one of Cuba and examine
the coast line carefully, [ would see
that the two would fit together perfect
ly, showing that at some time Cuba
vas part of Maine and had broken off
and drifted away to where it now is.
have heard some mean things said OF
Maine, but never anything as bad as
this. Not having heard of this gee
graphical accident, pro badly l was ont
of the State when it happened,-I
didn't dispute the gentemans state
ment, but | made up my mind that if it
was true Cuba seeded to get rid of our
prohibitory law | know that at the
last election the State nearly split in
two, and l only hope if another piece
breaks off shall be on that piece until
our present laws are changed. When
you are living under prohibitory law
SO strict that you have to lock the
church doors when the communion SER
vice is going OH to prevent liquor
seizure, tits time something was done.
| saw in paper last week that farm
er had lately been given Jail sentence,
and for what? Beating his grand
mother? No. Sitting down on his
wi.e's shirt waist that she had just
starched and ironed? No, but for sell
ing three glasses of cider! Think of
the enormity of that mans crime. Why
wasn't he lynched? Now isn't that
style of law just bit strenuous? A
year ago Gov. Cobb, a better man than
whom | don't know, before this society,
either said or didn't say that the vari-
Gus liquor laws on Names statute
books had done more evil than the
liquor itself. If he did say this, he
stated the truth, in my opinion, and if
he didn't say it he must have thought
it, and forget to mention it. Since then
we have had another election and re-
elected him Governor, but when he
looked over the returns he must have
thought that his popularity was wan
ing or that the principles he stood for
were little out of focus. Is it not
possible that Maine may be wrong on
this liquor question? When the whole
civilized world has either some kind of
a law restricting the sale of liquor, or
no law at all regarding it, and we have
a double and twisted, triple expansion
prohibitory law, it looks to me like the
case of eleven obstinate jurors who
wouldn't agree with the twelfth one.
Would it not be more manly, would it
not be more honest, for our legislature
to pass some restrictive law that the