davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
A CoNTEMPTIBLE PROPHET

Whatever case there may be against
Judge Brown of the Juvenile Court II
rests on acts committed and words said
by him. 1t does not in any manner
grow out OF any so-called prophecy
provision, or anticipation of any kind
There is nothing miraculous involved
no exercise Of revelation or seership
Judge Brown is charged with indecent
Invasion OF the person OF young girl
by his order to have her examined as
to her chastity, she all the time hystcr-
ically protesting against It and indie-
nantly denying the imputation that
Brown was salaciously thrusting upon
her.
1t is n question OF propriety and or
undoubted fact. To bring In as cor
roboration an asinine opinion or an
tipathy expressed before Brown had
even taken his position is as extraneous
to the case as 1t Is insulting TO common
sense, Brown is not arralgned before
this community because the Deseret
News was opposed 10 his being ap-
pointed head of the Juvenile Court on
the establishment of that tribunal, nor
because OF any idiotic hatred which the
prophet. seer, and reyelator" who daily
spills his foulncss on tho editorial page
Of that paper, had for Brown as an
outsider" but for the things that
Brown has done. that are atrocious In
the eyes of the public.
The superserviceable ass who draGs
his personal obliQuittes into this mnt
ter Is In fact helping Browns case in
stead OF the reverse, for II all that
could be said against this Juvenile
Court Judge is that the Deseret News
editor was prejudiced against him from
the first, and seizes any and every op
portunity TO vindicate his prophecy, -
then Brown would stand firm as
rock, and not on the edge of a precipice.
either, S he does now.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
THE YELLOW NEWS.

The Deseret News Is making compli-
mentary reference to the confessions Of
some unnamed yellow Journalist Of the
East. Instead of going to so remote a
distance why not have the apostolic
editor throw some bouquets at himself?
He has been the yellowest of the yellow
newspaper writer's for more than a
third of century. Just now he Is
playing the pious; but there arc uy
Ing thousands who remember when
he raked all the sources of Information
and misinformatlon for prurIent stories
OF fallen Christians so that he might
parade an offensive meal of carrion for
his readers. Probably no other news
paper of the United States has ever
contained as many editorials telling Of
frailties and the wilful debsSement OF
men and women, as has the Deserct
News 1t has not even yet abandoned
Its chosen muck raking," although
now, in order TO appear what it is not
a decent journal-the News affects a
style and generality which to the un-
thinking mind. ere devoid OF the old de-
pravity.
The immediate purpose OF the News
is to convey the idea that II Is yellow
journalism TO attack the crimes of the
hierarchy of the Mormon church: II Is
muck raking" to quote the utterances
OF the prophets seers and revelators of
the cult; II is an indignity and an In
jury to Utah TO wage battle for the
reform of an un-American ruling eccle-
siasticlsm In this State. At the same
time the News and the minor Mormon
prints esteem II virtue to declaim
against the good women OF the United
States, and the pulpits filled by polyg-
amIsts. still on occasion send forth a
foul stream of vituperation of every
thing that is not Mormon. AS usual the
News has the wrong sense of balance.
II cannot conceive that the people of
this commonwealth are wearied of the
assumption of divine authority for the
commission of crime. 1t continues to
maintain that there Is some special pre-
rogative existing within the power of
the priests which permits them to Of
fend against the laws of God and man,
and an especial right TO be above criti-
cism for their offenses. According to
the theory OF the News the Mormon
prophets, secrs and revelators alone OF
all mankind arc above question and be-
yond unfrlendly comment. IT Is perse-
cution for Gentiles to state the bare
facts concerning the false prophets, 1t
Is apostasy for a Mormon TO quote their
own words against the revelators. They
are to be permitted to say and do what
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
WHERE HAD HE HEARD IT?
Everybody's,

EEciSoVuS J.
The stage coach that carries the mail
between Kents Hill and Readfleld sta
ton, III Maine, drew up along the road
side and the driver accoSted a little old
man working in field,
do you know who Mrs. Abby Il.
Brown Is and where she liYes7"
The old man considered. Brown.
Abby 3. Brown?' he repeated You
don't mean Mrs. Polly Brown, do you p"
mo, Mrs. Abby s, Brown; we've got
a letter for her.
"B. you say the middle letter ls b,
do you? I know a whole lot OF Browns
that live on the other side of the road
but there ain't any Abby r among
them. You don't mean Abby B. Smith
do you? She lives over"
"No, It's Abby Il, Brown Wen find
her somehow. Thanks"
The stage-driver started his horses
but before the corner was reached a
faint Hello caused the passengers to
turn around The old man. hoe In
band was pursuing the stage.
Brown, Mrs Abby 3. Brown, did YOU
say2 Why, | know her. She's my
wife"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
About Women
/, FIRST w1FEs REVENGE.

IL modern novelists arc to be believed
wives often make the deathbed threat
that If their husbands marry again
they Will return TO haunt them Now
second wife at Goshen, n. Y, hos VIM
dcated the authors reputation lot
realism by presenting extremely mover
grounds in her suit for legal separa-
ton. Mrs. Ellis alleges that the gnost
OF her predecessor is making HE un-
bearable for her. but she believes the
persecution would cease II the courts
would free her from Mr.. Ellis. me
wrath Of the original Mrs Ellis follows
her about the house. appearing When
least expected, and making menacing
motions with Its CHASTITY fists Some
times she is awakened at night by
bright light In the room, only 10 hnd
the ghost OF Mrs. Ellis No. I standing
by her bedside, It's fingers clutchlng
convulsively at the air Often In the
daytime she encountered the spook
strolling about the backyard and peer
Ing into the windows. n proceeding cal
culated 10 try the nerves OF any woman.
Tho ghost. strange to say, does not at
tempt 10 haunt Mr.. Ellis, and he be
lieyes there Is mo sich n thing, out
Mrs. Ellis has presented her testimony
to the court and 1t must be passed
upon In the usual manner,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
VIGOROUS SPEAKER

Eochcntcr Democrat and Chronicle.
II will pass over this portion OF my
remarks" said Senator La Toilette, In
order that l may not detain the Sem
ate"
Inasmuch as he had been talking
three days IL was considered very
thoughtful In Mr., La Toilette In not
wishing TO detain his colleagues
"How's your voice?" asked Senator
Carter of him before he began on the
third lap.
Fine said La Toilette. II haven't
put IT to any kind OF test yet. A
nero three days speech Is nothing
once out In Wisconsin / talked for
forty-elght days In succession. barring
Sundays, an everage of eight hours
and fifteen minutes a day. My voice
was just as good when | finished as II
was when I began and / only lost two
pounds In weight"
Great heavensH said Carter, who
once talked thirteen hours on d stretch
IN the Senate. you make me think
am dumb"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
TO GIVE HER PLEASURE.

New York Tribune.
a J. Drexel Biddle. who wrote oooh
IN Madeira. said the other day;
Madeira Is a delightful place one
of its greatest, one of its strangest de'
lights Is coasting. You coast down inc
steep mountain sides I'm wicker oasnet
with wooden runners. and so fast d"
YOU go that sometimes your runners
smoke sometimes they even burst INTO
name. ,,,,,,.
"Thls coasting In Madeira's Maylke
weather is a strange pleasure. can
describe it's strangeness. 1t REMINDS
me"
He smiled
ct reminds me in It's strangeneSs OF
Christmas gift that was sent last
month TO q certain maiden lady.
"Thc gift was sent TO her by her
nephew. ard afterward he described II
thus:
"'At first I could not think of any
thing to give Aunt Mary for Christmas,
and then, suddenly. l remembered that
she was an old maid wholly unac-
auainted with the grand passion. ana
so. In order to give her unique pleas
ure, I sent her an anonymous love let
ter
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

church institutions and had been sent
TO the poor house when he had reached
three score and ten, "wallowed" In
clothing consisting OF a thin pair of
overalls, q cotton shirt and a straw hat
when he was carried into court by two
attendants-one day in dead Of winter.
The facts are the same with regard TO
the business Of the two frauds. But
NIT publicist to use such harsh Ian
guage "a the Chicago Tribune prints,
Here we say that Elijah ". enjoys"
his wealth Of money and marriage.
while his defrauded dupes !"walow- in
want
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
MISS sUTTON'S SARCASM.


Miss May sutton" said a tennis
player, never gets actually excited In
a game. but bad playing In n partner
will often arouse n sarcastic humor In
her. / don't pretend TO play well. and
when l found myself. one day In Gin
cinnatl. paired with the young cham
pion In mixed doubles / expected to do
little, and didn't dlsappoint myself. To
tell the truth, I played pretty badly,
But Miss Sutton did unusually we'll
and pollteness obliged me to shower n
continuous stream of compliments on
her. At critical point she saved
game with a remarkable back-handed
stroke. and I shouted Bravo. Beauti-
full! Well played, indeed! Miss Sutton
smiled grimly, That's right she said ;
you applaud and let me attend TO the
ball, and we'll win yet"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
RARRIT

| s'pose 1t takes feller ats ben
Raised in a country-town like mo
To prcclate rabbits Eight or To-,
Bcllerin' boys and two er three
Yelpin' dawgs all on the trail
o one little pop-cycd cottontaili
Bout the first good fall o. snow
S1s 30, YOU KIN track EN-. don't you know,
Wnere they've run,-and one by one
Hop cm up and chase 'em down
And prod em out OF old brcsh-pile
Fr "A holler log they're a-hldin' round
Er way cn-nunder the rickcd cord wood
Er srosstie-,sta by the railroad track
Bout a mile
Out o sight o the whole ding town. 4.
Well them's times at I call good,
To them old boyhood days a mine
| Kin sic him now and see "Old Jack"
A-plowln snow in rabbit track
And a-pltchin' over him. head and beole
Like a blame hat-rack
AS the rabbit turns fer the timbcr-lIne
Down the County Ditch through the old
cornficldI
Yes, and I'll say right here to Won
Rabbits that boys has earnt like that
Skinned and hung fer night or two
On the old back porch where the nun,nsa
done froze-
Then fried bout right, where your break-
fasts at,
With hot brown gravy and shortenIn'
bread ~
Rabbits, like thcm-cr ort to "a said
/ s'posc.
Amt so p'ticalar pore. 7 guess.
Fer eetin' purposes,
James Whitcomb Riley in the Reader
for May.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
FEMININE REASONING.

Detroit Free Press.
Senator bolivar was condemning an
opponents argument.
I'm such on argument" he said 'the
logic Is absurdly false. II Is like the
logic of young woman of Fort Dodge
This young woman sat plying the
needle one spring morning on the pia5-
"a of her pretty little house a coat of
her husbands was In her, lap The
husband himself appeared and she said
fretfully:
" 1t Is too bad, the careless way the
tailor put this button on. This Is the
NTH time ! have had TO sew IT on for
you "
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
RESOLUTION OF UNCLE BILLY.
Boston Herald


Boston Herald.
In the center OF the town OF Mans
field there lived In one-room cottage
built by himself, a man known as Un-
Gle Billy. He earned a living by chop
ping wood and doing chores. 1t was his
custom to go every night to the north
end OF the town, where he could get
nip" as he called il, He would often
get very tlpsy before starting for home
Late one cold night he went home By
a short cut which took him across a
deep canal Az the only means oE
crossing It was narrow bridge with
out @ railing. Billy who was quite IN
toXcated, fell In. A Mr.. Brown. who
lived near by, heard his shouts for help
and with the aid of another man sue
ceeded in getting him out,
They carried him home, rubbed him
we'll and got him into bed. after which
Mr. Brown proceeded TO give him lee
ture, and finished by saying: Nov,
Billy, after so narrow an escape ] hope
you will make new resolutions for the
future.
Billy replied; Yes, Mr.. Brown. YOU
bet I'll never try to go over thot bridge
again when I'm drunk"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

they WILL and it is using the muck
rake" to hold up their reasonable ut
tcranccs and their infamous acts 30
public apprehension.
II Ia an abteCt confession Of the awful
conditions which prevail In the Nor
mon church when the truth cannot be
uncovered without using the muck
rake" One OF the easons for the pres
ent controversy is TO establish condt-
tlons under which one may speak of
tho dominating influences Of the com
monwcalth without having to record
crime and blaspheny,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
GOOD "GRAMMERER."

Boston Herald, -,
Several years ago, when the old d's-
trIct system Of schools was In vogue III
Vermont my grandfather. the late heN, ",
Hosea F. Ballou, was superintendent III
the town Of Wilmington.
One day n young man trorn 49,
who had applied for one OF the nSo.
~, that town was sent to him to under r
-, - an examination. After going
through a portion Of the examinat,ion' .,lc1,,
9Th more or less success. he was given
some mathematical problems to deal
With After wrestling with these y
while. and seeing the hopelessness Oh
his efforts he said: ,,L
"Mr. Ballou. ain't much OF a ri.m- m
meticker. but the folks to nome CANS
me a pretty good grammerer'
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
MUSIC IN THE HOME.

Indianapolis Star
Mrs. Sutro. a wellknown leader In
New York musical circles. whose death
was announced a few days ago, left Il
letter In which she declared that music
had been the cause Of bringing her
more happiness than anything else In
the world. and urged all young girls to
encourage II In their homes, The ad-
vice is good. IT is the home music that
Is OF far more Importance than that of
the concert OF operate variety, yet too
often the young woman who finds her
self unequal TO the latter neglects TO
practice that for which she Is best ft-
ted. She forGets or does not realize
that il Is the ''parlor voice" and the
ability to play simple music which
gives the greatest pleasure to the great
EST number
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
HER WEAK POINT.
Chicago Newo.

Chicago Newo.
The dream of suffrage had been real
lied. There were female police. After
a desperate struggle one of the brave
lady cops had arrested two porch climb
ers, single handed
Don't dare to resist" she Missed: "if
you do / shall shoot"
There was an ominous click
Don't shoot lady" said one OF the
porch climbers suavely; I'VE won't re-
slst, but ] Just wanted to tell yer dat
during de row yer hair got mussed an
yer hat ain't on straight"
The lady cop flushed with embarrass-
ment
Gracious" she exclaimed. Where
can | find mirror? l could never
think of going along the street like
this. Wait here until | return
And the porch climbers slipped off in
the shadows. while the lady cop went to
find Il mirror.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
SHOT HER POODLE
Kansas city Journal.

hansas tity journal.
ELLA Skinner. 2l7 West Sixth street,
became angry with q French poodle Mt
IL o clock last night. and shot the anil
NAL to death In the hallway of her
house, Then she kicked the canine into
the street and fired one more bullet into
Its body. Sergt Eubanks and Patrol
men Dyer and Looney heard the re-
ports of the revolver and rushed to the
scene. The woman. they say. still held
the weapon In her hand. They exam
ined the dog. but Its pulse had stopped
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
NEW DRESS GOODS.

Tip In New York Press
Sixty-five years ago The rage for
new style OF dress goods wore itself
threadbare on foil de chevre" 1t was
soft. silky and light. never got rumpIed
and was as bright as satin and as fresh
as muslin. Our mothers and grand
mothers dotted on II. And now l hear
1t is coming back to US again. Any
thing. oh, anything. for a change from
foulaTds and taffeta
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
Short Stories
TOLD AT DIVORCE CONGRESS,

Detroit Free Press
Ird1e Dugro Irving, at the divorce
congress in Washington told sooa y.
two children, q boy and a g,rl, nei''oeis
Of rich and prominent famiiles;
ln ai,,orced" he said. Her father
had married the mother of the little
boy. ahor, ,iroa AZ
fer the wedding. met at a chlIareh
' Hello Dick said the little slTl,
How do YOU like your new papa: lie
was my papa once
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

No communication In relation 10 publication
In or business for Tho Tribune should be ed-
dressed 10 any individual or officer OF this cor
porRtion. Matters relating TO publication
should be addressed 20 tho Editor OF The IT'D
une and communications relative 10 suosorip-
tIoDs and advertising and other business
should be addressed to Salt Lake Tribune eup-
fishing Company,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

prosecuted in Wyoming for polygamy.
must see that he should have remained
in Utah. where he would have been
perfectly safe.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
RARE WEDDING

Eustace Miles. \ 'As|
pert was married IN .p'a
day The menu az ~ ~ I'uea,
i,.si- iast was Clear vere,,sS,s .s Ssta
outlets, cabbage WIFI eas23els =
powder blanc manps ,9 s'nsssea
mango cheese savoy. ehors'
remarked that IT was vlE. lTua
cents. o"y ectt 4
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

Eastern people who. when urged TO
come West instead of going to Europe.
complained that the West had no ruins
have had their objection disposed Of
by the California disaster,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

If the Attorney General refuses TO
iindorse Mr. Booth for the Emitted
States Attorneyship. Senators Smoot
and Sutherland will do their best TO ap-
pear disappointed.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
THE SAME.
Commercial Tribune.

Cincinnati Commercial Tribune
Wisely-Whnt? Moved out to Jaw
town? Why. l just sold my house out
there through an agent TO some old
fool who paid $4,000 moro than 1t was
worth. You may live near it-300 Damn
avenue,
bought
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

Though the appointment of Living
ston to the United States Attorneyship
would take him away from San Pete
county, San Pete Will not oppose It,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

The Republican auxiliary had a not
able increase Tuesday evening, having
gained few members who are not
anxious TO run for office
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

These lovely days good many pu-
pills undoubtedly have the same opin-
ion that Brother Golden Kimball has,
that children arc being given too much
education.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

Microbes are having such a good
time In some back yards these sunny
days that the owners OF the yards
haven't the heart TO disturb the little
things
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

Among those who approve the reso-
luton Of Brother ]. Golden kimball
not to talk i'm public may undoubtedly
be included his best friends
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

II the beautiful weather continues.
the resort owners will hardly be able
to walt until Memorial Day to begin
taking In money.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

Mr.. Booth must think II prcposter-
GUS 10 question his fitness for the
United States Attorneyship. when he
has been for Smoot all the time
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

Quite a number OF San Francisco
men Will undoubtedly be able to see
great Injustice in the order requiring
them to work for free food.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

Boys have been told that time passes
swiftly. but In this last month Of the
school year they can see for themselves
that II Is not true.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

Anyway, It must be admitted that
Mr. Livingston is Just as we'll fitted for
the office of United States Attorney as
ne is for seat I'm Congress.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

The County Board Will favor the call
ing of grand jury whenever 1T desires
To know how IL feels to have to answer
impertinent questions.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

Commissioner Sharp wishes It under
stood that the fish and game law Is
not one Of the laws it is right TO Yio-
late I'm Utah.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
FROM THE JoKEMAKEps

Please. sir pleaded the becgar.
Id like to get a square meal. /"
Here. poor fellow said Kloseman. n.
here's penny for you"
oh, thank you. sirl But. pardon me.
you haven't got dyspepsia tablet about
you. have your I always suffer when |
oVereat, delphia Ledger.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

How unjust IT must seem to Bishop
jolly, of the Big Horn country, to be
prosecuted on q charge of polygamy,
when he has only three wives,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
Tho Tribune Is Enlo OF all the principal
ncws stands IN tho United Sta:es
Where The Tribune Is On Sale.

Murray. utah-Excelsior Stationery Co mo
phone It'll
Frovo. Utah-A V, Robinson. q East Center
Street.
New York--Arthur HotslinC Broadway ana
Thrty-eiehtb Street. hGtor House. Nhuoi-
Astoria Imperial Hotel
C'lcsgSPRlmer House. AUDITORIUM hhheA'
WashIngtoI-New Willard, Raleigh
omsha-UEion Station News Stand
Portland-(reGon News Agency.
Los Angcles-Amos's News Stand -,
San Francisco-Arding' Ncws Agency, ~
whcatley, Hotel ST. Francis. Foster ora, ga.
ecatte-W. Ellis, Hotel Northern j. H. Jus
ticn. Wilson. McEey Co ,,r
Denver-Julius Black, Brown Hotel henai'eA
Book and Stationery Co. ,,,.
Store, Arch, Cunningham & Co, IL. se'ei
& Co. ... -
Pocatcllo-Cha1ce & Co.. H H. y" "mttleHSes'
Tonopah-O'ScU & Co A II Rouus~en
Goldhsld-Huntcr Adv. Pub CO. u ~
Marsh
Buttc-Keefe Bros, j C. Evans,
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

You could hardly blame the weather
officials for being vain when they think
of their clever work so far In May.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10
VIII sUNE BIZ AT THE t,rn

I'm at the bottum OF my kIas
Bekaws / kanot spell;
But soon III be on top yu b1t
An I'll sta there as well.
There going 10 chant the spelling null.
An make our cssuns lite iues
An those who're right will then M
An those who're rong be rite. ''"s
detroit Froo Press
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-05-10

Very few people, however. have done
as much as the lilac bushes TO improve
the appearance OF the city.