St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1906-04-13


II is now asserted that the fruit
crop this year will be hummer.
Hen or orchard'
bold Diamond Thief. daily
paper. Wonder whether he
"sleeved" the ace or the queen'
Once more has the mosquito crop
of New Jersey has been ruined. "A
great forest fire there destroyed
many millions of the pests.
II has remained for a Portland
man to have a wooden leg that
hurt him. His wife hit him over
the head with it one night.
The deposition of Br'er Dowie
proves that man when he has a
good thing should stick to it and
quit going away from home.
The new leader of Zion is
named Voliva. He is supposed to
be a sister-in-law of the celebrated
"Viavi." (Note. e.-See" First Aids
to The lnjnred.")
So many people speak of eye
sight when they mean sight that
| wonder why they do not mention
nose smell' when referring TO the
nasal bugle machine!
Gresham last week had a mayor.
less council" Humphl That $
nothin ! st. Johns several times
has come awful close to having a
"councilless mayorr
Now that Dowie has been pro.
nounced insane by competent au.
thoritics we can breathe easier. |
used to be so that every time
heard Of "Lige" commence to
hunt for those ravens.
The bones OF a huge animal have
been unearthed in Eastern Oregon.
No one seems TO know the name of
the bcast-but some suppose that
Il is all that remains OF the author
Of the famous Statement No. L."
II is claimed that a plate of raw
sliced onions will destroy the odor
Of newly painted room. Then,
the next day-it is as confidently
asserted-newly painting the room
will remove the scent of the onions.
A Portland man cried when he
was prevented from committing
suicide. When a fellow feels as
badly as that over a little matter he
should be allowed to have his own
way-and let other people do the
weep act.
Professor Wiley, of the national
laboratory, says he can make a
glass OF six-year-old Scotch whiskey
in FIVE minutes. II doesn't take
half that time TO envelope" it
with chaser thrown in for good
measure.
Fort Sill Indians threaten trouble
unless they have permission to leave
their quarters and travel with
show, And il they do leave
there II be trouble among those who
see them perform. They'd better
be kept there.
"A Popcorn man sold a span of
colts for $40. Raising GOOD
horses pays. Portland Journal.
And a popcorn man sold me sack
of corn that was as brittle as a
sponge and | W mt not back to him.
Selling poor stuff doesn't pay,
Up at Hood River woman
pounded the waddin' out OF one OF
those enlarged picture men" be-
cause they brought her portrait to
her with red hair and greenish
eyes. Beats all how little it re-
quires to make some women mad,
An eastern librarian has thrown
out the works of Mark Twain be.
cause OF the bad name of "Huck
Finn and tom Sawyer. Such
a librarian as that would barr the
bible on account of the fact that
Judas was a mighty poor weak
sister.
A Portland Judge now declares
that a man has a perfect right to
swear at his own wife without fear |
ing divorce, IL is only when he |
to cuss his neighbors /
hat the law steps in and gags him.
Il promise to love, honor and |
,uss" will soon be the agreement.
Considerable comment was caused
asst week in New York city over a
society woman leading a pig upon
! public street. | doubt it. Wall
street has its bulls, bears and
ambs. Tammany its mules, many a
nan has an elephant on his hands
and have seen some mighty
hapely calves on the best avenues.
THORN.