New-York tribune., 1906-06-29
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The Rev. s Barring Gould, the English writer. is
bv no means the first man in England to read his
own obituary. When G b. Burgin had similar
experience, years ago, he could not resist the
temptation TO follow Mark Twain's famous example
by declaring that the rumor of my death is greatly
exaggerated" DR. Venn Caius College. Cambridge.
finding his death recorded in Modern English Bi
ography.' in 1902 wrote to THE Athenseurn : Il am
not disputing the fact The first Lord Brougham
circulated himself the false rumor to see what
the newspapers would about him. II - related
that they did give him the pleasure he expected
Mr.. Roche member of Parliament for East Galway
possesses a photograph of a tablet marking the
place of his burial in America. Two years ago the
Rev Prebendary Hohson present at meeting
to hear his check had been returned cancelled
owing TO his death
Mrs. Nulywed-You don't love me more-I
Nulywed-But, my dear. you're mistaken. adore
no. you don'tl No man could love so
badly dressed as am lie Rtre.
Negroes use the Same phrases they hear whites
use often with amusing application This con-
versation. overheard in the streets of Southern
CITY is related in "Iippincott's Magazine: How
dy Mis- Mandy? How is you?' called one dusky
aunty 10 another. oh jes tollable, Mis- John
son How you feeIin'?' the response. Why
Is a-feelin' mighty peart. is conided Mrs. John
son; II suttenly does feel fine" ''Wellum yo sho
is lookin WELL" agreed her friend ''Yo' coors so
good
EXCESS OF CAUTION.
ITO nnd men in good health you have only 10 go 10 the
restaurants where eating and drinking TO
Tho Sphere
Hygeia coy. elusive maid
Needless OF my incessant wooing.
You confscate my marmaade
And Danish my undoing;
You diet with patent food.
And sternly check my frequent mood
For smoking.
Exactly two nd-thirty bites
To every mouthful are allotted;
Pork is forbidden beef eXcites,
You n3Is banish eyerything M that's M potted;
And GT tell I1'n me ,Gt to o do nothing s'b but e'
Keep quiet
What boots this dietetic faith.
This excessive moderation?
l sit in likeness of wrath
Writing funeral grafton.
Are blessed with every panacea;
You lecture me. but them you choose.
Adieu to farinaceous fare
And dietetfcs' doleful coister.
Give me the freedom the hare
The gay champagne the luscious oyster.
If health is in the way. destroy it.
III health is good; I'm blessed If
london Tribune.
A woman in Paris has established an agency for
supplying bridesmaids young who need
such attendants and who have no friends. Each
girl receives s. for each time she acts as brides
maid. If the bride wishes her maids TO appear in
new clothes she has TO buy the apparel herself
The NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Science Mother-John
wake up; there's the baby crying. Won't you walk
the floor with him?
Christian Science Father-Yes. don't make
noise my dear; I'm giving him absent treatment
Life.
a Japane.e laundry has issued the following ad-
vertisemfnt:
Contrary TO our opposite company we Will most
cleanly and carefully wash customers with
possible cheap prices follows: Ladies' dolls per
hundred gentlemen. III dol per hundred"
Tragic.-The man lay prone upon the pavement
Blood trickled from a ragged cash in his throat
and formed in a little pool near his head.
There marks OF violence-nothing 10 show
how the had by the accident For a
minute the great detective baffed Suddenly
a strange light shone in his keen gray eyes while
a smile OF satisfaction played about his lips
Have you discovered how the mans throat was
cut?" they asked.
Yes. He's wearing a collar that's been to tho
| laundry twtooA"-Milwaukee Seminal