The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-03
THE GRAND PROMOTER.
He Strikes a Big Thing in Lavender
Colored Celery

Major Crofoot. grand promoter and
successful debt-shirker, was lowering
over the coal stove in his office and
wondering what sort Of a lunch seven
teen cents would buy, when there came
an aggressive knock at his door.
He had devoted five years to the study
of knocks. He had divided them into
twenty different classes and he could
tell one from the other as easily as he
could read a poster. He Instantly lec-
ognized this knock as the knock of
creditor and one who meant business.
He kept quiet and waited. The knock
was louder and more aggressive. He
waited some more The caller gave Inc
door kick
1t was no use. The man was bot.rd
oily smile, the Major stepped to the door
and opened it. The man who stood
before him was the proprietor of the
clothes cleaning establishment around
the corner. There was frown on mis-
face and a CLEAN in his eye as ne strobe
into the room and sat down hard on a
chair.
M. dear sir said the Major, II, lis
softest tones, will you kindly permit
me to ask if you are here to do BUSH
ness with me or if you wish to ask the
location of the nearest dentist2"
Two years ago I clean some clothes
for you" replied the caller.
your name and business address, if
you please?"
7 vhas named Schmidt, und I keep
place shust around der corner. You
know me like you know yourself.
vhas here ten times to collect a BILL
ITO collect a bill2 I cannot under
stand Llucidate means to make plain.
Please elucidate."
Why. [ cleaI your clothes twice und
you owe me a dollar und a half. I come
here und you put me off all der time.
Now I don't go until L get my money. y
The Major stepped to his desk, con-
suited an old blank-b book for moment
and then turned and held out his hand
and said:
Mr. Schmit, I beg your pardon a
thousand times over. You did clean my
suit twice. 1 hadn't the change and
didn't pay you. [ see that you have
called here on two or three occasions
did not recognize you at first. You are
here after tha- dollar and a half, and
you shall have it,
Il shall have it or sit right here for
one year." sair the cleaner.
you will not have to sit very long.
The bill should have been paid long ago.
Even though I am doing business of
millions I try to remember the small
things Before I I'LL out the check let
me say to you
Il don't take no check" Interrupted
! the caller. If take some checks und
go by der bank. it vhas no good. ]
vhant my money"
Before filling out the check" contin-
ued the MAJOR, as he rubbed his hands
! together Il wish to thank you for your
! confidence in me when I needed friends
/ TWO years ago / was on my upperS
| I had schemes, but they refused to ma
/ terialize. I was dead broke. I was dis
eouraged. My only suit of clothes was
/ covered with greast spots. One day
entered your emporium and asked yoJ
4 ~, -eA ~
You cast That is. while 1 got into d
bathrObe suit you cleaned my clothes
and said that could pay when con,
venient. Three months later, when the
suit was again in need of renovation
you DEITY removed the grease spots anc
sent me on my way rejoicing
IT vhas- too -nlsleh talE19 said TIL
1 creditor. 7s4s1E @3fr-5r aalse
"But how can help but talk whel
my heart is full Mr. Schmidt, you ex
tended a helping hand to me when.
/ needed 1t most You braced me uI
4 You encouraged me. But for you
| should not now be worth millions
1 cannot help but talk. I cannot he'll
/ but remember what you did for m
| when you removed those grease spots
You seemed to remove all my Difficult
/ ties at the same time. You knew tina
! I was an honest man and that the da,
/ would come when I would pay you {,
the last cent, and now the day and tn
hour have at last arrived. MI
Schmidt
81 say. dere vhas, too much talk UNI
no money!! exclaimed the man wit
the bill.
Mr.. Schmidt. you have heard o
| Panama, haven't you ?"
What if have?'
''And the Panama canal ''
Does dot Panama canal pay di
! bill2"
1T does. Mr.. Schmidt does I
pays that bill ten thousand times over
The United States owns the land 70
ditch 1t is now waste land. yea
hence it will be growing greenbacks
Have you read or heard of the Pan
anna -Colored Celery com
pany? No? Then let me explain.
You probably know that the lates
craze among the upper ten is for Law
I ender-colored celery. White celery ha