Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-06-30

pose OF knocking these funny splashers
INTO the middle OF the ensuing week, but
until that period arrives you're only
course when you're spiashed is to look a.
IL you enjoyed it.
Be Sport.
The yoclferous, knobby armed young male
person who when he gets his somewhat
Misunderstanding young lady fr,en' out into
the shoulder-high water grabs her by the
back of the neck and holds her head under
the water for minute or so 10 just as
sportive and gay this year as he always
has been. The pleadings. impiorinss sup
piications. entreaties. of the frightened
Misunderstanding. miserable young woman
don't work In the least upon his merry.
happy-go-lGcky spirit. He believes that
duckinEs good for EN-. that's what they
were made for. to be ducked by the feilers
and duck EN- he does If. In eventual wrath.
she opens up on him for his condinged
brutality. "Aw, be sport, Cert" he says
to her, in his big. hearty. generous way,
and then he holds her under the water for
another minute so.
The chesty young fellow who's endowed
with such perfectly horrible strength. es-
pecially 1.-THE swimming line. that he's got
to try to swim around one of the long piers
or else not feel that he's had any fun at
all has been taken out of the water limp
and white, by the life guards quite large
number of times already. considering the
earliness of the season. AS he scoots out
past the life guards In their boat he laughs
derisiveiy at the warning they toss at him,
and calls out to them that he'd just as lief
swim all the way across to the Canary
Islands, only be wants to get dressed IN
time for dinner. Then. knowing a whole
heap OF things from, long experience. the
life guards hover near the terrihcally
strong swimmer with their boat, and the
moment nearly always arrives when they
have to pick him out of the foaming sea
and roll him over the gun'ls and work his
arms up and down to give him chance to
breathe. Always, when he comes to, the
dreadfully strong swimmer looks sheepish,
and says that he'd have been able to round
the long pier with one arm tied behind his
back. only he suddenly became sick at the
Notwithstanding he'd eaten at break
fast must ha disagreed with him.
Mortal Peril of Drowning.
The fat stodgy woman with the wisps OF
carroty hair sticking out from beneath her
rubber cap who. accidentally slipping when
she is In fourteen inches of water, instantly
concludes that she is In mortal peril OF
drowning, and shrieks and squawks she
struggles franticaliy like mlred hippo,
and does everything in the world but stand
up on her feet, and has TO be picked up by
the united strength Of nine men and carri-
ed to the soft sand and then have eleven
sympathetic women get around her and fan
her and stroke her wrists and pull her
bathing skirt down all proper-she's on
hand, too, and executing the same old stunt
every day at some point or other on the
beach.
The gay dog who gets away out beyond
the breaker line and then suddenly throws
up his hands and yells for help. just TO
fool the life guards. and. when they get
near him with the boat. suddenly pops up
with his fingers at his nose-heres already
unlimbered and In action, too, and he takes
1t to heart most keenly when the life guards
quietly tell him to go In to the bath house
and get his clothes on and not appear in
the water any more, on pain of being pinch
ed. That's the way the play drowning
boys being handled this year, very prop
erly. but of course they're acting terribly
abused over 1t.
Giving Him the Eye.
The fresh Jackie who fancles that every
bathing woman who accidentally casts her
eye In his direction is deliberately giving
him the eye" he joyfully expresses II.
prowls around the strand in his bathing
toys, as usual. and every once in a while
he is ruthlessly dragged into the water by
a couple of e-shouldered and relentless
men whose women folks he has ogled, and
ducked within about a quarter of an inch
OF his extinction. But 1t takes a good
many duckings to effectually and perma-
nently cure a beach masher
The girl In the perfectly ravlshing bath
ing suit that was never built to be got wet
doesn't patrol up and down the verge with
out ever getting even her sandals moisten-
ed so much as she used to. She has to
stand for good deal OF guying nowadays,
the girl in the purely pictorial bathing suit.
The bunch on the beach get on to her. and
they take up the stringing of he's in good
natured unison. Don't let the dew take
the creases out of that skirt, Dolly" they
call after her. pretending to be speaking
to somebody else when she glanches haugh-
tily around. and Those sandal str.VsN
get out of curl IL she stays out here
posed to the sea air" and THE dry bath
gag for her, ehf'-these and sundry and
divers other CALLING remarks do the pitt
less beach folk, in and out of bathing toys,
make in the full hearing OF the girl who
puts on bathing suit with never inten-
ton in the world to battle, and she is now
being literally chased into the water. sooner
or later. just to escape the guying of the
crowd.
Sand Sarcophagus.
The young male with the subtle sense of
humor who spends about two hours in
burying his girl in deep sand trench. COM
pletely covering her over and sculpturlng
the sand into sort OF sarcophagus, at the
head of which he places a mortuary shin
gle and on top OF which he spreads sea-
weed in stimulation of the flowers placed
on real graves-this young person and his
girl with their peculiar sense of humor,
going through their grisly performance
at some point or other on the beach every
day. with never a thought In the world
onlookers who have suffered recent be-
reavements.
The fellow who walks into the water
smoking the butt of a rancid cigar. which
he casts away at place where it is bound
to be swashed right Into your face with
the next oncoming wave, made as early
start this year as all the rest of EN-
The inevitable girl, generally quite mod
est and innocent looking, too, who just Will
go into the water diked out in a thin cream
colored silk bathing dress, despite the COM
monty known fact that such dresses are
forbidden here, and who makes a tremen-
dous sensation all over the place just as
soon as she gets wet. and who has to be
politely requested to vacate the sea ana
not to come back unless she has on bath
ing accouterments OF a less attention-strik-
ing character-scarcely day passes that
this one doesn't show up, only to be sent
shamefacedly back to the shelter Of the
bathing house. generally with the tears OF
modification streaming down her face.
All here, present or accounted for. So
who can say that the bathing season in
the most cosmopolitan and inclusive sea-
bathing resort in the world hasn't got on
to a good start for the summer of 1906?
c. L. c.