The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-11
With the Long BoU
Eye natsre,s walks shoot Jolly ~ 1t Mss''
The Mystery Of Iniquity, or Side Whiskers as.
Cloak for Responsibility Discussion Of
the General Laws Governing Side Whiskers
Eye natsre's walks. Shoot

wellthought-out article in an eastern paper dis.
The Battling Problem of the Popularity of
Side Whiskers.'' Side whiskers life work Of
their propretors. From earliest manhood they have
been his constant and dearest pride
We may find for the full beard in the
protection of the throat in the avoidance of the
annoyance of shaving but the first argument for side
whiskers is evolutionary Namely, that they
for the attraction of the opposite SEX just the
male bird is galy colored. But this argument is for
the 'Elilac" of youth.
The writer of the article mentioned above shows
the true for the side whskers of age,
monty referred to as slambrequins,' and that is,
responsibility. The writer says:
.. The is respectable, and all the world
knows it. His side whiskers proof of it--an
undenable proof. No in all the world ever wore
them who not good citizen.
"Naturally, therefore, besides this great and up
lifting moral benefit they possess purely utihtaran
advantage. AS guarantee of good faith to bank,
they worth than all the securities in Chris
tendon Most bank presidents wear them themselves.
ANY store will give immediate credit upon their
presentation They vast help in running for
Office and while holds to them he is certain to be
looked upon pillar of the community In which
he lives' ~ .~. -al
These arguments for the side whisker, namely,
attraction and respectabity, may be the general
laws governing side whiskers, but just initiative
insects take certain colors appearances for
poses Of their own, side whtskers may be worn to
give responsibility to scoundrel.
The most gorgeous of pure side whiskers we
ever knew, light and feecy that the winds Of
heaven feared to them too harshly, were worn
by a who beat poor widow out Of So barn rent.
He used the whiskers to delay in payment, the
parties concerned saying to another, ''Surely
with side whiskers like that will beat poor
widow out Of $9!'' But he did And afterward dis
covered that he intended to do it all the time. For
that what the whiskers for. He never paid
any bills let alone bills owed widow who hadn't
To font hem, he
We never see these whiskers without wondering
why the mountains do not fall them and crush
them That made in the image and likeness
of God should so far lose that image to beat
widow out of SO is certainly of the Mysteries of
1niquity.
The cat came back, but her return was in such
shape that the Of the house took his temperature
fearing Authorizations. He fat and jolly resi-
dent of Detroit and he stepped out into his back
dooryard he mystifed not to say terrified by the
antics of object which rushed past him with a
clatter and din that made his hair RISE The object
charged against the fence and under the porch and ne
did not investigate further. - -..
Early in the morning he observed the big family
cat sitting her launches in the yard acting in
peculiar manner. On investigating, his
fright would permit, he discovered abby had placed
her head in salmon and was unable to extrcate
= IT, With difficulty the man prled the can OH
and tie cat shot under the house to thank heaven
and think over the adventure at her leisure
ez-2-. % =.st
I read story the other day that somehow recalled
Mr.. Wells terrific struggle to down the demon rum
with his Backbone paper published in this city
1t is reallya hoot MOI" story but is needed badly
here to I'LL out the column. It is told of smart young
Ss:t:h clergyman who was to preach q trial sermon
somewhere. Fearing that his hair might be disar
ranged he quietly and significantly said to the beade
there being mirror in the vestry: John, could
you get glass9" John disappeared, and after s
few minutes returned with something under his seoa
which, the establishment of the divine, he produced
in the form of a bottle with gill Of whisky In 1t
saving: eye mauna let about it, meenister, 70
I got it as a special favor; and wadna hae got 1
ava if hadna told them it was for you" ~
I wanted to tell this story and make Mr.. Well
the hero of it, but didn't dare to, for fear he nigh
not like it. a-f-.~ - "A. D.. h Il: