The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-03-25

| few passengers used the elevators. but It
| gave US something To talk about on board
| ship and 1t would give us something to
| blow about after We had returned home.
Outside of the cage stood II young Ger
man with a blond 2ompadour and ~
| Jacket that came just below his shoulder
blades. He was clean he looked as If
he had been scrubbed with soap and then
| rubbed with hoystone. Every German
menial on board seemed To have two
| guiding ambitions in life. one was to
| keep himself immaculate and the other
| was to grow a U-shaped mustachc, the
same as the one worn by the Kaiser.
The boy in charge of the elevator
would plead with the people TO get in
and ride. Usually, unless he waylaid
them, they would forget all about the
new Improvement and would run up and
down stairs In the old-tashioned manner
instituted by Noah and Initiated by Chris
| tophcr Columbus.
This boy leads q checkeTed career on
each voyage When he departs from New
York he is the elevator boy As the yes
| sci approaches Plymouth, England, he
becomes the lit attendant, At Cher
bourg he ls transformed into garcon
| d dascenscur, and as the ship draws near
Hamburg he Is tho gsbehueter,
| which Is an awful thing TO call a mere
child.
ultimate result of present competition be
tween ocean liners As our boat was
quite new and eXtraYagontly up to date
perhaps some information concerning II
Viii be Of interest. even TO those old and
hardened travellers who have been across
so often that they no longer set down
the run of the ship and have ceased send
ing pictorial post cards TO their friends
at home
In the first place, n telephone In every
room, connected with a central station.
The passenger never uses 1t, because
when he is a thousand miles from shore
there is no one to call up and If he needs
the steward he pushes button. But 1t
is thcrc-a real German telephone, shaped
like a broken pretZel. and any one who
has n telephone In his room feels that he
is getting something for his money.
| After two or three lessons any Ameri-
lean can use foreign telephone. All he has
TO learn is which end to put to his ear
and how to keen two o. three springs
! pressed down all the time he is talking
| In America he takes down the receiver
and talks into the phone. Elsewhere he
/ takes the entire telephone down from a
rack and holds II the same as slide
! trombone
In some of the cabins were electric hair
] curriers' A Cleveland man who wished to
| call up the adjoining cabin on the phone.
! just to see II the thing would WORK, put
/ the hair curler TO his ear and began
| talking into the dynamo. There was no
! response, so he pushed button and
nearly ruined his left ear. 1t was nat
! ural mistake In Europe anything at
| tached to a wall rs liable TO be tele-
On the whole. I think our telephone sys-
/ TEN is superior TO that of any foreign
! cities our telephone girls have larger
/ vocabularies. for ono thing, In England
/ the hello is never used, When an
/ EngIishman gathers un the ponderous
! contrivance and hts II against his head
ne asks: "Arc YOU there" II the other
/ man answers no" that stops the whole
| conversation.
/ Travellers throughout the world should
! rise up and unite in vote of thanks TO
whoever IT was that abolished the upper
+ berth i'm tho newer boats. Mahomets
coffin suspended In mid air must have
been CHEEKY and satisfactory bunk com
I pared with the ordinary upper berth.
ONLY n trained athlete can climb into ono
/ OF them The woodwork that you en-
! brace and rub your legs against you
] struggle upward is very cold. When YOU
fall into the clammy sheets you arc only
about six inches from the ceiling In
/ the early morning the sailors scrub the
deck just overhead, and you feel il
, you were getting a shampoo. Tho aerial
sarcophagus Is built deep. like trough,