davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

The horse race men drink costly wine
And O'eT IL leeT-
Whilst we are glad on pork 10 dine.
Washed down by beer.
Observe them in their coats of fur,
COntented clani
I'm free 10 state I wish / were
4 horse race man.
Louisville Courier-Journal,
The Washington times., 1906-12-15
IDIOTICALLY GOOD

What idiotic work. exclaimed the
art editor Of Fudge
The artist put on his hat, reached for
his pictures and started 70 go.
Hold on. Where are you gGinEP'
asked the editor
To try the editor of 'Shucks.'
Great Scott, man. / want those pic
lures, I meant they were idiotically
funny"
The Washington times., 1906-12-15
Provides for Passes
For the Publishers

To allow publishers Of newspapers and
periodicals 10 accept transportation
from the railroads as payment for adj
vertising. is the purpose Of a bill intro
iuced in the House By Representative
Garrett Of Tennessee
The Washington times., 1906-12-15
DAM TREATY
RATIFIED BY MEXICO

FL PASO, Tex. Dec. 15.-Advices to
the German consul was received today
from Mexico saying the Mexican govern
ment had ratified the treaty vita the
United States referring TO the great ir-
rlgaIlon dam at Engle. sixty miles above
The Washington times., 1906-12-15
TOO INDEPENDENT.

Lady-And you say you have been
brought TO this by your wife?
Tramp-Yuss, lidy. l got 'er three
good jobs and 'er bloomin' independence
lorst 'er the lot.-Punch.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15
STORER.

There was a fellow named StOrer
Who proved 10 be quite a rOarer
TIN Roosevelt. quite pained,
Very cleverly explained,
When StOreT, the roarer, got sOreri
The Washington times., 1906-12-15
Literary Notes.

Miss Marie van Worst is spending the
winter In Egypt, where she viii be en-
gagged in work. She has returned TO
Europe after d few months visit in
America
The Baroness Orczy is in private life
Mrs. MOntagu BarstOW She is a Hun
garian who never spoke English until
she was fifteen years of age. soon
after going to England she took up the
study of art and it was AT an English
art school that she met her husband.
Five or SIX years ago she began writing
short stories, and she now gives her
whole time 20 the writing OF novels
and plays,
Harris Dickson. the author Of Ca
brielle. TrausgresSOT. 30 is a Southern
lawyer. who was recently made Judge
OF the municipal court of his home
town. Nicksburg. Miss. The scene of his
new novel Is laid in New Orleans i'm
Colonial days. The book was published
as recently as October I5. vet the J. f.
Lippincott Company already announces
the third large edition.
The fftieth year Of the founding Of
the Atlantic will be celebrated this
month by commemorative articles writ
ten by three of its surviving executors
Mr.. Aldrich. Mr.. Howells and Walter
II. Page. Since Lowell founded the
magazine * has adhered steadily TO It's
original purpose and il is in accord
with its traditions that the present edl-
tor. Bliss Perry, should also occupy a
chair at Harvard.
Crown Price Olaf of Norway is to
learn the new universal language Fs-
perantO, which will no doubt be taken
TN by many Europeans il the children
of the royal families include Il among
their various obligatory ACCOMPLISH
ments European approval Of the Ian
guage will add to the interest felt in
the campaign Of instruction in Esper-
antO which the North American Review
is about 10 enter upon.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

Senator Bailey is criticised for borrow
ing money from an OH magnate. He al
least showed judgment ia applying TO a
man who had IL.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15
DIPPY DEFINITIONS

Cossack~One's political opponent.
Coal Dealer-Mombers OF Roast En-
Club.
Rowdy-Typ- allowed on Il" trains.
Genius-Believed 10 be fool of the
family.
Moranite-Give # up.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

Count BOni says that his domestic
trouble has not lost him a single friend
Possibly not. but II has played havoc
with his married friends.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

\ beautiful Spanish woman in New
York has been driven mad by her own
music. Madness in such cases is usually
in the ueighborhood and not in the home
of the musician.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15
CRUISE OF 1905 Jo7.

A little bit Of opera,
Ana a little blt Of ball,
A little bit Of shopping
And a little hit Of call,
4 little bit Of drama
And a little bit OF tea,
\ little bit Of fashion
And were on the social sea-
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

A Florida man killed a neighbor who
invited him TO stay TO dinner. Judgment
reserved until we learn something about
the dinner.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

Tt is not certain that the Kansas Popu-
lists viii Gisband their organization. one
of them favors it. but the other holds
out for the old name
The Washington times., 1906-12-15
IRON HAND RULES FILIPINOS:
PEACE AND PLENTY PREVAIL
So Says Secretary Taft TO Congress- Telling OF Peoples
Advancement and Needs-Favors Tariff Bill
and More Railroads.

Conditions in the Philippines show
steady Improvement and give much
cause for satisfaction. according TO the
extract on the subject of the Philip
pines. from the annual report of the
Secretary of War sent TO Congress. The
document includes the report Of the
Philippine Commission. with its accom-
panying reports Of the various heads
of departments of the Philippine gov
ernment
Secretary Taft states that the com
mission has used every effort 10 cut
down the expenses of 60 sernment. and
has found that this policy is not incon-
sistent with rendering the government
more efficient. In every part Of the
islands. except in the two provinces of
Leyte and Samar, peace and tranquility
obtain.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

There was a man in our town
And he was WOHdTOus wise.
Election day was coming on,
He had 10 get supplies.
He called the bosses out one day
And made some resolutions
That three per cent of salaries
Would make nice contributions.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

BY agreeing 10 abandon his order for
simplihed spelling, the President has
broken another preC Cedent
The Washington times., 1906-12-15
Many Cruel Murders.

The capture or surrender of eight or
ten Of the leaders Of ladrone bands in
the Island of Luzon. comprising all but
one Of those who have veXed The peace
ful inhabitants of the TagaloE prov
inces, has brought about a better con-
dition than ever before existed in the
islands" he says These men who
were captured or surrendered have been
tried before a Filipino judge and have
out exception. of many fiendish and
cruel murders. and all but one have
The Washington times., 1906-12-15
A KAINTUCK WISH

4 am done now says Bellamy
Storer, Yes. indeed, well done.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

Members Of the Pulajanes tribes in the
Philippines Will be pained To learn that
they have been extermInated again
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

The New York Times complains that
are not paid enough. SGfl.
Mr. Storer seems To have gotten all .hat
was c0mlrg TO him, and then some.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

Everyone should be filled with he
Christmas spirit" says DR. Newell
Dwight Hills. Still, DR.. Wiley says
most Of it Is adulterated and dagger
Gus TO health
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

The latest appointment Of consuls and
ambassadors seems 10 have supplied all
OF the foreign capitals except Newport
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

People tend to forget that the Secre-
tary OF the Treasury stands between
them and business disaster" says the
president Secretary Shaw has not al
lowed the people to forget it.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

What" asks the New York Mail. lis
the difference between the old lO-cent
novel and the $50 novel Of todav?'
The difference is $1.40, Ask a hard one.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

Senator Dubois is trying to convince
the country that the Mormons have
other faults besides their habit of vot-
ing the Republican ticket
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

The sentiment Of the country seems to
be very strong in favor of debrutaIized
Christmas shopping this year.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

1t is difficult to believe that it is Just
a coincidence that some admirer gives
you box of cigars the morning after
you bad decided To stop smoking
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

After Christmas, what?" asks an ex-
change. The water-wagon jokes.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

BY agreeing 10 abandon his order for
simplihed spelling, the President has
broken another precedent.
The New York Times complains that
ambassadors are not paid enough. Srrl.
Mr. Storer seems To have gotten all .hat
was comirg to him, and then some.
Everyone should be filled with he
Christmas spirit" says Dr. Newell
Dwight Hills. Still, DR.. Wiley SAYS
most Of it Is adUlterated and dagger
GUS to health.
People tend to forget that the secra-
tary Of the Treasury stands between
them and business disaster" saws the
President. Secretary Shaw has not al
lowed the people to forget it.
What" asks the New York Mail. lis
the difference between the old lO-ceDt
novel and the $50 novel Of todav?''
The difference is $1.40. Ask a hard one.
The sentiment Of the country seems to
be very strong in favor of debrutaIized
Christmas shopping this year.
It is difficult to believe that it is inst
~ ''All'-aNAN+4N' LlAtAL SBlllt GulliTeE gives
YOU a box Of cigars the morning after
you had decided to stop smoking.
After Christmas, what?" asks an ex-
change. The water-wagon jokes
The citizens of San Francisco would
probably be willing to extend a vote Of
confidence 10 Belamy StOrer.
Shirt-sleeve diplomacy seems to have
been succeeded by, the typewriter brand
Idleness is gossip's best ally. While
the muscles rest, the tongue works
overtime.
Senator Dubois is trying to convince
the country that the Mormons have
other faults besides their habit of vot-
ing the Republican ticket
The latest appointment of consuIs and
seems TO have supplied all
of the foreign capitals except Newport.
Members Of the Pulajanes tribes in The
Philippines viii be panied to learn that
they have been exterminated again.
Il am done now" says Bellamv
Gf.rar Yes indeed xs-aII y7,--..
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

The citizens of San Francisco would
probably be willing to extend a vote Of
confidence TO Benamy StoTer.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15
NAUGHTINEss OF NAILMAKERs.

II YOU cannot afford box Dleats, try TO
at least have orchestra pleats.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

Idleness is gossip's best ally. While
the muscles rest, the tongue works
overtime.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

Shirt-sleeve diplomacy seems to have
been succeeded by, the typewriter brand.
The Washington times., 1906-12-15

Miss Marie van Worst is spending the
winter In Egypt where she viii be en-
gagged in work. She has returned TO
Europe after Il few months visit in
America
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1906-03-18
A au.iat ODER OF sIar.,as..

A quaint offer of marriage, written
more than 100 years ago. Is carefully
preserved in the family Of the young
woDer's descendants. II was address
ed not TO the young woman herself, but
most respectfully and decorously to her
parents. The father OF the "Betsey"
referred TO had ten daughters, and az
he was n clergyman for fifty years IN
4 small New England town Ii may be
surmised that his Affirmative answer
10 spare his seventh" was as quickly
asserting as IL was final. The wooer
was also q clergyman. and he and his
Bersey passed their entire married
lives in the same pastorate. ministers
OF those days living and dying With
their docks. Here is the lovers plea:
Both reverend sir and worthy madam,
SOFT wedocks bands first was talked in
heaven.
Wien happy man IN Eden dwelt alono
The smiling Cod spouse did form Of
That friendship might their Joyful souls
Inspire
And knit their hearts In seraphic FIRE.
With wedloek chain wish myself to bind
II from your lips the answer should prove
petsey. your seventh. l wish you TO Inn
That we may Join our hands as we'll ~
hearts
And hive III love and share each others
cares.
While tieeting time whirls on with rolling
I'll. grizzly death dlssolves the silken
chain
That We may rise and mingle souls again.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1906-03-18
ny the way.

The court crier had u bad cold, SO
thut The duty OF making the opening
proclamation fell TO another court OF.
iicer who, as 1t happened. had never
acted as crier. This officer had heard
The proclamation often enough and
knew 1t by heart, but this is what hap
pened: The deputy sheriff opened the
door and announced .Courtp' The sub
stitute crier raped on his desk. and
within and without the bar those pres.
ent arose and stood in silence while
the Judge passed 10 his place.
Then the substitute began: Hear yui
Hear ye! Hear ye"' His voice seemed
10 him horribly loud. and all recoliec-
ton OF the words TO follow suddenly
left him, but he pulled himself together
and went on bravely. al persons hay.
ing anything to do before the honora.
Bile the justices OF the supreme court In
the jury season thereof now sitting at
Boston within and for the county Of
Suffolk may draw near and give their
attendance, and they Shall be heard"
At this point lie sat down; but, sec
Ing the judge looking up in surprise, he
saw his mistake. and, sprInging to his
feet, he added
by the way. gentlemen, God save
the commonwealth Of Massachusetts"
Green Bag.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1906-03-18
----. --..------.--
4 PUGET SOUND NAME E.
FsEaiIup and the Experience of aks
MAN Responsible For ia

FsEai1up and the Experience of tks
Wan Responsible For il.
The name Puyallup is OF Indian orr
gin, as old as the memory Of the whitc
man. In Pioneer "reminiscences OF
Puget Sound" the author. NIr. Meeker,
says that he accepts tho odium Of in
fiicting that name OH suffering genera.
lions by Plating a few blocks OF lnnd
into village lots aud recording then,
under the name Puyallup. he men
tions incidentally that he has suffered
from IL.
The first time ! went east after the
town was named and said 10 n friend
In New York that our town was nam
eli Puyallup he seemed startled.
Named what?"
"Paysllup." said l.
"rhat's a jawbreaker." came the rs
spouse. How do you spell itf''
"P-uy-a-l-Eu-p." said.
let me see. how did you say you
pronounced it!"
Pouting out my lips like yerltablo
Slwash and emphasizing every letter
and syllable SO as to bring out the
Peuw for Puy and the strong empha-
sis on the al and cracking my lips TO-
gether TO cut of the lup. | finally drill.
ed my friend so that he could pro-
nounce the word, yet fell short OF tho
elegance OF the scientific pronuncia-
ton.
Then when | crossed the Atlantic
and encountered the factors OF tfle hop
trade i'll London and was hidden AS Il
guest 10 dinner TO Introduce roe to
the assembled hop merchants. when |
saw IL troubled look oyershadow the
face Of my friend who was TO intro
duce me knew what was troubling
him. and my sympathy went out TO
him.
Let me introduce to you my AmerI-
can friend from"-he began boldly and
then ated-"my friend from Amer
lea" he continued. snt then turned to
me With an imp!oring look and blurted
out:
81 say. Mr.. Meeker. cawn't remem-
Der that name. What is it,.
But when letters began to come to
me addressed "Peulope," "PolIy-up."
"rull-ali-up," "Pewla.loop" aud final
~ "Pay-all-up." then my cup OF sorrow
was full. / am sure, however, Tint
there will never be but one PuyalIup.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1906-03-18
THE VENETIAN KITCHEN.
It WeuId bother nm A.nericRa Cock
&c Prepare Meal.

&c Prepare Meal.
ANY one who keeps house in Venice
Will find that the picturesqueness Of
surroundings Is carried out In ali tie
details OF life. The Kitchen, for in
stance. will he more primitive than any
Kitchen you have yet seen IL your apart
ment is anything short of Il palace. It
is apt be spacious room. around the
top OF which runs row OF shelves
flied with pewter plates. There are
rows OF copper pots and saucepans.
aud there are fascinating eerthen
dishes and casseroles. OF every size. and
In The inventory there is sure TO be q
round wooden board with STUDY
handle. TO turn ont the steaming pollen.
"a on. Polenta Is nothing in the world
but an excellently made cornmeal mush
IA cornmeal mush with the n ushiness
left out. for TO be perfect pd.entn must
'have consistency BESIDES The exact
proportions OF water. salt and meal. DO.
lenta. TO be- good, must be stirred con-
tlnnally. and long cudgel for this pur.
pose Is another item In the kitchen fur
nishng. Our polenta was cooked In a
copper pot hung on crane over wood
fire. and this brings me to the cooking
arrangements. There Is no stove in
this Venetian kitchen: there Is nothing
10 cook on by means OF which an Amer.
lean COOK could turn out Il square meal.
There is Wide sOa pstoue hearth, the
Site Of the ordinar. range. surmuunt-
ed by nn imposing hood. On this
hearth. without aid Of audirons. Is built
q wood lire. The sticks are long. and
only one end is lighted. The other end
extends out OH the edge OF The hearth
and as rhe lighted ends burn down the
tlick Is pushed back into the fame. On
either side OF this fire stands a fornello.
nm earthenware vessel som ething like
large square towerpot.
In these are made charcoal fires Quite
large enough 10 heat two hurirons at
the same time. This is all the cooking
arrangement. There IS no place for
roasting or baking. No bread. cuke or
biscuit is ever made in an Italian
house. II you wish 10 roast turkey
or II large bird you send il in its pan,
with The butter for IT. basiing. TO the
baker who roasts it TO beautiful!
brown for from 8 TO = cents. The
smaller fowls are roasted In one OF
the large copper caSseroles. and by
turning and twisting and bastng in
ressantly the bird Is perfectly roasted
is one would wish There Is no place
for keeping anything hot on this en-
bryonic range and with only three
places for cooking something must be
cooked first and set aside to make way
for other dishes. On the other hand.
there could not he more economical
way OF cooking. In very few mo
nlents the charcoal fire burns at full
pitch. and if one wishes for just enough
and no more to broil chop one NAV
have 1t without having to light lire
sufficient to cook an entire dinner. as
one would have 10 do with us Tor the
fuel for an American kitchen range
costs anywhere between 70 and 80
cents a day. In Italy fuel. Including
both wood and charcoal. costs 10 cents
day for Il family OF moderate size.--
Pilgrim.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1906-03-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

When abusing mun in fun don't so
too far.
Advice Is like medicine a little goss
long way.
The good things of life grow slow.
but IL Is different with bills and scan
DIAL
Time eies so fast as man grows
older that 1t seems to him he has his
Sunday clothes on all the time
People do things in broad daylight
20 make themselves ridiculous and then
blame paper for mentioning It,
You hear He was one OF the best
men that ever lived" oftener than "He
Is one OF the best men that ever lived"
Why Is 1t that people who say dis.
agreeable things to ones face are call
ell honest and people Hho say pleasant
things are called hatterers ?-Archison
Globe.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1906-03-18
BUsY: SATURDAY NIGHT
Police OFFICERS Were kepl Ion
y, Move:
SONS OF ERIN CELEBRATED
Many Prisoners Wearing shamrocks
landed at Station for Being Drunk
or Disarderly--Youna Men Charged
With Stealing Eggs and Bacon.

One Of the busiest Saturday nights
The police department. has experienced
for some time is just passed and
judging from the number OF sham.
rocks wore by prisoners. the nature
Of most Of he of'enses ana The ma.
lionality of a majority Of the OF
tenders, ii is taken for granted that
the fact that yesterday was st. Pat
rick's day was largely responsible
for the activity.
No less Than score Of sturdy sons
of Old Erin landed at The station
during he night. charged with being
drunk>nr dis0rderly. The officers as
Il rule are as lcnient as possible on
Snch occasions. 50 it. was only those
relchrants who were very disorderly
or totally unable 10 take care of
themselves OH the street that were
taken In charge.
Justice Brown rarely fines anyone
for getting drunk on Christmas, or
an lrlshman FOR giving way under the
strain Of 81. Pairick's Day cele-
bration; so il is probable that iomor
rows long docket may he disposed
OF in short order
Officer Shelton last night arrested
Frank Allison and Alex Stevenson on
The charge of larceny. Both prison,
crs are young white men and they
arc alleged 10 have stolen a lot Of
bacon and eggs from store on Hunt
ingI0n :nvrnne.
The snatrol wagon was going al
most constantly last night. There
were no arrests Of Importance. how
ever. practically al Of the prisoners
being charged with minor nffenses.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1906-03-18
Battles In the aeR

Fights between sharks and porpoises
are said to be common in the waters
around the Florida keys. and the FISH.
ermen thereabout declare that the por.
poise always wins and sends the shark,
Which usually begins the fight, scurly.
ing away. The shark has to turn on Its
side to bite. and the nimble porposs
easily Keeps out OF reach OF Ito snap.
ping jaws and then jumps I'M and deals
the shark tremendous slaps with It's
tail
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1906-03-18
MANAGING HUSBANDS.
some Eighteenth Century, ldess sA
ThIa lntcrestlnE Suhiecl

This lntcrestiuE Subject.
Most quaint Is some Of the advice to
women contained In an old book pub
lished in 1877. The volume describes
Itself rs IAN infallible Guide to the
Fair Sex. containing Rules, Directions.
ana Observations for their Conduct and
heha viour through all Ages and Cir.
rnmstances OF life; as Virgins. Wives,
or Widows. with Directions how to Oh.
tain all Useful and Fashionable Ac.
complishments suitable to the Sex"
IL The lndy's husband was cholerlc she
was Iold how 10 secure her own way
By deSterously yielding every thing
TIL he begins 10 cool and then by slow
degrees she Spy rise and gain upon
The Man.. or when other Remedies
are TOO weak. little Flaltery may bs
admitted. which. by being necessary,
will cease to be criminal" With e
covetous husband. pride, ambition,
vanity. anger, kindness or even dose
OF wine may be expected ito open or
enlarge his narrow Mind" THE wife's
business must be to watch for critical
Divided Sentiment.
Little Agnes is twelve years old. She
Is a poetess. She has, maybe. n sense
Of humor and, positively, she did not
Ike her stepmothcr. On the latter's
birthday the youthful rhymer put forth
all her powers to please the lady who
had usurped her own mothers place.
The quatrain ran rs follows:
thank you for your kindness.
thank you for your love
And hone God will reward you
BY taking you above.
her stepmother hardly knew wheths,
this was to be taken prema turely Of,
not She supposed not.-New York
Press.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1906-03-18
worst Ever.

Yes, indeed: he's the homeliest man
IN public life today. Haven't yon ever
seen himi'
NO. but I've seen carlcatures OF
him"
"oh, they fatter him. You should
see him." = Catholic Standard and
Times