The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-10-23
Dr.. Fahrenheit and
Weather College.

death with their talk about the wealth |
.er, but here the weather remarks are
OF !, such high quality. SO varied and in
telligent. that I willingly wait my
turn
The old gentleman seemed pleased by |
what had said.
a All the BARRIERS here,'' he said, care |
graduates of the Weather college Of |
which [ am the head. Ny name is
Fahrenheit Professor Fahrenheit. My
afflicted with a desire to talk about |
the weather and so improve their con-
versation that it will no longer bore |
others. -
You are doing noble work. |
cried, grasping his hand.
Pleased at my remarks. he began to
talk animatedly of his system, and fin |
"Tomorrow morning9'' he said.
"Next!'' N
AS I composed myself in the bar
Der chair listened with pleasure while
the barber observed: +,
"In spite Of The representations Of
the weather bureau and that surprising
the sky is still blue here and the air
balmy. Close shave, sirs''
Professor Fahrenheit received me the,
| next day with great amiability, and
told me little more about the course
of study at the college.
| AS you are AWARE he began, "a
large number Of people in every walk
of life are afflicted with conversation
al coma. an incurable disease, the VIC
Tins Of which are unable to talk on any
| other topic except the weather. Now,
it seemed to me that might do great
service to them and to the rest Of man
kind by trying to make their weather
talk huentr varied and interesting, in
stead Of dry and perfunctory, as. it
almost always. is when uncultivated.
Hence, founded the Weather college.
''Have you been successful9'' I
asked.
"Most decidedly. Thousands Of
weather takers have attended the col
lege since it's foundation; an army Of
graduates, scattered all over the coun-
try ISL is helping Ping to raise the STANDARD Of
but excuse me. You wish to see my
pupils at work. Come this way.'
"This is the Irritation department for
tongue-tied lovers,' he told me- "You
will now see sample of our advanced
weather-and-love talks. Mr.. Jones,
a S9yzu make s!t. proposal of marriage BIB
Two pupils arose, snuggled closely to.
gether on bench, and spoke as fol
lows: ..- ,Er%
ttGood morning, Miss Smith, -, ~. =.
Good morning, Mr.. Jones.' r-.s.,.
els it not fine day9' .. ~.
eyes it is. The morning seemed tc
me bit doubtful. After consulting my
f daily we weather t NAP, thought, candaidly
would make trouble.''
"Ah, Miss Smith, your weather eye il
always open.'
"Flattererl'' -.
''Miss Smith, will you let me bee
-your-'' -.
my whats" ~ IL
"Your-e1-umbrella against til,
world s storms and tempests, your--er-
faithful macintosh forever? Hithertt
riable winds and-er-intermitten'
: thunder showers, and H.
ooh, Mr.. Jones! Really, let u,
fair and cooler for tomorrow
"Miss Smith! You are fair-do no
be cool. Will you be the sunshine Of
my skiesp 49,. ...
+ "My own little rainbow!"
r sEtAnd now let us take look at tn,
tonsorial Department. the professo
, said to me. cit is most importan
: part of the college, as the barber is pc
+ culiarly handicapped as to converse
v tion. Unless the daily papers have som
: tremendous piece Of sensational news
e he has practically. no opening excep
y the weather. But flatter myself tina
la am aha im pro- the average tonsoria
l. We entered the tonsorial department
: NAh!O exclaimed the professor
mr. &c Clipwell is just p,racticing exe1
4 Mr.. Clipwcll was busily lathering tn
= face of a dummy figure, supposed. t.
- be a customer, and was speaking thes
o words in honeyed and respectful
q voice:
,,t mse5t o 1o1 mqggy tedsy vo, Dab
y St: Petersburg, sirg (Dab, dab.) 81
! folks there-got fresh easterly wind;
- (Scratch, scratch.) And continued COO
> er Wednesday,. (Head back, please.
y That comes of having a paternal GOV
= eminent and absolute despotism in tn
:. weather bureau. (Scratch, scratch
r scratch.) Going out Of town tomo1
row, sir? Dab, stab.) Maines = Oh
don It. Hot wave due there Thursday
Better go to south Atlantic and sgul
F. states or westerly points-prefera
PASHASS"AAU
Il cooler, slight northeasterly breezes-
d (deep scratch)-toward end of weel
e All ready, sir.'' ~
Is Much impressed by all I had seen,
a. praised the college in cxtravaga1
IT terms and prevailed upon the professc
q to show me some of the testimonial
which, he had limited, were many az
n fattering.
=, "These testimonials are well d.
rt served, professor, I said as I fnishe
y reading them. every well deserve,
- indeed. Yes, indeed" I pause
- looking for suitable words. I gre
q, a. embarrassed. In '"~f:
le "Fne day. stammered at last.
b. The professor, grinned.
a. Very crude introduction of tt
= weather. he remarked. "You shou
. take my course A, following it up wit
II 18b and little special reading on IL
- topic in general, with weekly lecture
. daily oral and. written exercises, al
| q oo,o,1o+o 1,orio1 o~houe4;,,o =, :, 4 ~ :,