davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30
Humor ano Philosophy
BY DUNCAN N. SMITH
STARTING A PAPER.

Did you ever start a paper
Otherwise than In your mind.
Just to keep yourself from mischief
Or to elevate mankind,
Just to make the world take notice
And to keep the nation straight?
II you haven't you should do so,
For the exercise is great.
Where long felt want is roaming,
Threatening almost to bite,
You should jump into the harness
And proceed at once 20 write.
Possibly the world Is waiting,
Losing sleep from day to day
And on tiptoe leaning forward
Just 10 hear what you will say.
There are causes great and noble,
Some perhaps quite near your heart
That are crying for tho paper
That It's up TO you TO start;
Just before you there is waiting
Maybe riches. surely fame;
Hire printer and get busy;
That's the way to work the game.
Easier than raising chickens.
If you will the rules observe;
Any one can do the business
II he only has the nerve.
why delay? You know, dear reader,
In your secret soul, l trow,
You could do IL so much better
Than the men who do IL now
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30

The hardest problem the builder has
to wrestle WITH" said a well known
member Of the profession, "is the chin
ney. What the heather Chinee ia to
the human race and the left handed
mule to the animal kingdom the Chin
ney is to the various appurtenances
that 90 to make up human habita-
non. There Is no safe rule for the con-
struction OF chimneys. You can build
. chimney all right In theory, but when
Il comes down to practice that is an
other matter. Build two chimneys side
BY side In precisely the same manner.
Employ the best skilled labor and con-
sruct them exactly on the same princi-
pies. One may draw all right and the
other one smoke like Choctaw. Yes,
sir. the chimney Is beyond all under
standing. and any builder will tell you
So"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30
Ensli.h "a. She 1. wrote.

Some ludicrous mistakes are made
by some Of the French Canadian people
In our New England cotton mill towns
In their attempt to master English.
One summer grain dealer In Som
ellsworth, N. H., received written
order from one OF his French custom
ers, which read as follows.
please send
II bag hole corn.
II NIX field.
20 pounds acid"
The clerk, who has had many years
experience with these people, said at
once, Send him bag Of whole corn,
q bag Of mixed feed and five pounds OF
grass seed, or. as the French people put
It. hayseed.'
And he was right.
At another time an order was re
ceived for a bag of corn broke" and
at still another an order for bag OF
corn not broke. Boston Herald.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30

An old citizen who had been hen
pecked all his life was about to die.
His wife felt 1t her duty to offer him
such consolation as she might and said:
John, you are about to go. but ! will
follow you"
Il suppose so, Manda." said the old
man weakly, but so fur as am con-
cerned you don't need to be in any
blamed hurry about itv'
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30
The WAY of Il.

A man is apt to like a girl
II she displays dimple feet
And soft. blown hair with tips a-curl.
A figure dainty and petite.
He couldn't keep from loving such
IL he for II were gibbeted;
He certainly would love her much.
No matter who prohibited.
The girl as deftly plays for him
Because she wants him on her list.
And round about her finger slim
She wraps him with a gentle twist,
And well she knows he cares for her
Because she's here and so is he;
The tale she knows were different were
She here and he across the sea.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30

Mrs. ID. Vorcee-If l could only for
get the past! But alas. 1t is ever be-
fore me! Mrs. Oldun-You'll have a
sad future with your past always pres
emit. Take my advice and leave the
past behind for the present and live in
the future for the future and not In the
past.-Life.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30

Ink stains may be removed from q
book BY applying with camers hair
pencil small quantity Of oxalic acid
diluted with water and then using blot
ting paper. Two applications win re-
move all traces Of the Ink. To remove
grease spots lay powdered pipeclay
each side u the spot and press with
an iron as hot as the paper viii bear
without scorching. Sometimes grease
spots may be removed from paper o.
cloth by laying piece Of blotting pa
per on them and then pressing the blot
ting paper with hot iron. The heat
melts the grease. and the blotting pa
per a5sorbs II.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30
He Got OFT

"Jimmie, you have been such bad
boy that mother will have to whip
you"
II don't mind the whipping myself,
mother, but | know that 1t will hurt
you worse than it will me, and THAT'S
wh-why I'm crying"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30
The Other WAY About.

81 suppose you are wondering If mar
riage Is failure"
"Not at all. A much more perplex-
Ing question Is up to me-"
"What is it?'
els single life successw
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30

"How would you like to be mill
lionaire?"
mot very WELL"
"Not very wellT
'No; very is much too feeble word
to express It,"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30
Tommy's Trouble.

whats the best thing about going to
grandma's, Tommy"
Dinner"
swell, what's the worstY
eating too much"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30

PERT PARAGRAPHS.

I I'M 4<A<<A>SA><hx k4Ss
The longer man argues the less he
cares about the truth.
Marrying for money doesn't require
IS much courage as marrying without
money.
1t IL hard to down q man who doesn't
mind being downed.
II you never make any failures your
success don't amount to much.
Some people think 1t doesn't matter
what others call them as long as they
do not respond.
Turning the other cheek isn't hard
matter II your face Is brass plated.
The stamp OF poverty IL easily erased
II you use the right eraser.
An affectation Of simplicity sets the
complex mind guessing.
Every man feels that herolsm Is latent
n him and yearns to be discovered.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30
One Unsolyed.

"Are you good at riddlesr
mo, the ladies were always a mys-
terry to me-"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30

81
by tn
and r.
and !
COMP
only
comp
as bid
n hair
\ man
Seine
from
nut a
moon
warn
Meth
plexic
4 AS ii
Norw
usual
else I
The
serve
Norw
nearl
digna
some
suppi
said
wegi;
They
ton
hirns,
vorcd
he, y
unior
blood
they
irougl
divor
super
press
The
nice
soaal
wher
posi-
whet
very
yes,
Is a
blan
tion
they
ing 4
Sches
titud
seem
that
80 81
ably
the c
part
won
den
have
trait
virilt
cons
lieve
fecti
N, &
good
meas
nen1
nifc'
Apr
as Il
latel
ergy
not 1
Is o.
on n
the
and
Eerv
Whe
veg
tract
shee
cult
the
bree
duct
Brit
ket.
Swe
too
rece
soci'
ems
NEE
the
bers
h I'll
grcs
July
etril
the
", ~:
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1906-08-30

The longer man argues the less he
cares about the truth.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1906-03-31

MIR. LarT.s larson has rca.c5 bis
harness shop 20 Ny &. Larson. who
"l- continue the business al the 90.
stand. where ne would be pleased
TO see his friends
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1906-03-31


The sun attempted to shine TO-DAY
Miss Mary Foster spent Wedpes-
day IN Richmond.
Mis- Ida Henley is visiting trends
in Greensboro. N. c.
Miss Alice Moore is visitin Miss
Virginia Braithwaite.
Editor White. of the Salisbury
Md. - Advertiser. is at the I n.
General Mckay IS visi,in, his
daughter. Mrs. w. J. Murphy.
Mrs. P. P. PEBBLES and little son.
or Norfolk. are visiting Mre. w. Il.
Brsithwaite.
Miss Bessie Lamb leaves tonor-
row TO spend few days in Toano
and Richmond.
Miss Elizabeth Gait returned TO
Baltimore Monday. after a del HI.
tul visit to relatives here.
Mrs. George Hank:ns returned
home Friday. after visit to hrs.
Boisseau. in Richmond.
Miss Sue Hundley has r.,a- u
home. after visit to Mrs. d. o.
Tyler at Sherwood Forest.
Mr.. Macaulay Bright has return
ed to Philadelphia. after spend H.
several days here with NJ. Spencer
Lane.
Miss Mamie Anderson. who has
been the guest of Miss Marg.e MAJ
able. has returned TO her home II
Richmond.
The many friends OF Miss Es,el.e
Smith viii be glad 10 know that she
IS convalescing. and is expected
home tomorrow.
The many friends OF M. Tom
Murphy. who was taken suddenly
ii a few nights ago at the Williams
burg Hotel, are glad to hear that he
IS alright again.
Mrs. c. I. dc Groot. who with
Master Give Harcourt Carruthers
OF Toronto. has spent the winter
with DR.. King. leaves today TO pay
a visit to Rev. w. J. King. al Deer
field.
A special series Of services Will
be held in the Methodist church be-
ginning next Wednesday night. The
Rev. w B. Beaohamp. Of Newport
News. will assist the pastor. AL
OF the churches are invited 10 CO.
operate.
The Home Acetylene Gas Co..
OF Lynchburg. H. Umbolz in
charge. is installing ace,y.ene gas
in Bruton church. The church. rec
tory and parish house VIII be ilum-
med by this gas. and four lamps
Will DC placed in the grounds. M
Umbolz exPests toiturn or the ligb,
in one lamp tonight
The district conference Of the
Methodist church viii DC held in (
this city on June 10Th. About 100 S
delegates viii be here. At the {
quarterly conference held here on
Monday. DR.. w. V. Tudor presid- :
ng. Prof. R. NJ. Crafford. Archie. Z
Brooks and Charles Griffin were "
elected delegates; M +. Morris. J
:. Simonson and Arthur Parsley :,
Ilternates TO the district conference y
% You Know -
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1906-03-31

mat Stone S Anti Rhe-mac- Rem
ecy mas been declared one OK The
oes' things cr me marSet tor the re-
--et OF Rheumatism and Eout, SAT-
.slacoon guaranteed d you only trust
stone.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1906-03-31
Do You Know

that 2Sc viii buy a bottle OF Almond
Cream which viii relieve chapDed
hands and face. also beauty anc
whiten the skin? Satisfaction guar
anteed II YOU only trust Stone.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1906-03-31
HTCHe/ Brooks,
General Insurance Agent

--+~~ =
representing the following
uirst-claSs Companies
va. Fire X Marine and Va.
state Rlchmcnd Virginia
Home. Of y. \. Hamburg
bremen, Norwich Union
Pennsylvania Fire and Ere
ASSOCIATION, OfPhmadelDhia
1 also represent the Fidel-
ny y Deposit Co. ofMd and
the Fidelity and Casualty
Co. OF y. \.
All business entrusted
whether nre Insurance bond
or OF indemnity ON officials
or employees Will receive
attention.
otflee Over Spencer Bros. stors.
WILLIAMSBURG Va
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1906-03-31

the Circuit Court of the County OF
i Sharlss City. on the 18th DAY of
March, 1905
In vacation.
against
X SKY '..-.. .-.---...-.....-. Deic udant
he Object Ut this suit il 10 obtain =
divorce a vinoulo matrimouii tor he
oiaintIn from the defendant. And an
anoavit having been made and fled
tnat the defendant. Charles Okley. - not
a resident Of the State OF Virginia II =
ordered that he do appear here. within
hitsen days after due publication hereof
and DO what may be necessary 10 p-e-
tect has interest IN this suit. And r -
'aIiae1 ordered that a copy hereof be
published once a week for four .suc-eS-
sive weeks IN some sewspaper. and that
copy be posted at the front dor ofths
courthouse OF this county on the pext
succeeding rule day.
eopy-Teste:
/. AZ. NANCE, y, O,
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1906-03-31
COClAL AND - .
- PERSONAL


TX 1;zz;s z;Tz;z Ez1~ ~#
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1906-03-31

:. LAR son. Owner.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1906-03-31

MeSSrS. Griffin & Rolf VIII be
the agents here Of this truly won
dertul paint. and if what IS Claimed
tor It proves true at Mondays test
II VIII be in great demand.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1906-03-31

Ree Daniel q Nsrnt- Pastor
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1906-01-18
Rabbits a Pest.

The ranchers in Pleasant valley,
South Fork and Mound valley are
waging a war on the rabbits. The
pests are SO numerous and destruc-
tive that the ranchers are making
concerted effort to get rid Of them.
They build fences around their
haystacks in which they fix a trap
gate. During the nights the rab-
bits enter these gates and feed on
the hay. Once in there is no es-
cape for them and in the morning
the ranchers, armed with clubs,
enter the enclosure and slaughter
the rabbits. From 100 to POO are
killed every morning at each stack
but still the number does not seem
to decrease. The dead rabbits are
fed to the hogs and in this way
the farmers get some return for the
damage done by them.-Indepen-
dent.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1906-01-18

l.. L. Mushett has been appoint
ed postmaster at Tonopah to sue
coed Garrett Bradley, the present
incumbent, whose service has been
unsatisfactory.
j. r. Wilson has sold out his
pool rooms in Goldfeld and left
for a trip to Honolulu. His wife
will remain in San Francisco dur
ing his trip to Honolulu.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1906-01-18

JAM. list. 1905, to APRIL LIST. 1905
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1906-01-18
ADVERTISING RATES.
Kind Words for Old
Nevada.

Forty-one years ago, on October
31st last, Nevada was admitted to
the sisterhood of States. She was
a precious child, not especially fair
to look upon, but immensely
wealthy, and for a short time a
brilliant career was predicted for
her. Then reverses came, her
wealth had gone to beautify and
enrich her more comedy sisters,
and those to whom her treasures
had been given with a prodigal
hand Knocked and despised her.
In her poverty there were none
save her own children who loved
her and remained loyal.
With the lapse of years has
come another change. AT the age
of Al, Nevada is more beautiful
than when budding into woman
hood, and the wealth of which she
had been despoiled in youth has
returned a hundred fold. In the
galaxy of States there is none fair
.er, none who wooe with q more
subtle charm. The eyes of the
world are looking longingly in her
direction. Her mountains crown
ed with diadems of snow and inter
laced with bands of copper, silver
and gold appeal to the eye and i'm
agin8tions as never before. Her
valleys, carpeted with green, and
resplendent with agricultural pos
sibilities are viewed with greater
appreciation.
Hail, dear young Nevada, ''fat,
fair and forty May you grow
more beautiful with the years, and
may each succeeding year be more
prosperous than the last.-Pro-
gressive West.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1906-01-18

"Truly miraculous seemed the recov.
cry of Mrs. Mollie Holt, of this place."
writes J.. o. r. Hooper, Woodford, Tenn,
Ashe was so wasted by coughing up puss
from her lungs. Doctors declared her
ED SO near that her family had watched
by her bed side forty. eight hours; when,
at my urgent request DIR. Kings New
Discovery was given her, with the as
tonishing result that improvement be-
gan, and continued until she finally
completely recovered, and is a healthy
woman to-day" Guaranteed cure for
coughs and colds. SOC and $l.00 at LIE
MARIE & Sons. Trial bottle free.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1906-01-18
NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given that the under
signed, the duly appointed and qualified
Inspector of Sheep in and for the County
of Lander, State Of Nevada, has this
day appointed L. A. Lemaire, whose
Post Office address is Battle Mountain
Nevada, a Deputy Inspector Of Sheep in
and for said County.
Dated: Austin, Nevada, Apr. Oath U5.
p. S. JENSEN.
Inspector of Sheep in and for the
County of Lauder.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1906-01-18
NO AGENTS.
TERMS.

Correspondence is solicited from the surround
ing country. Communications OF a personal
nature will be subject to a rigid scrutiny.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1906-08-09

AloDzo P. Merrill returned last night,
after visit of ten days with Mr.. and
Mrs. Horace A. Bennett at their home 10
West Newton, Mass.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ira A. Norton returned
Monday night from Peaks Island where
they passed two weeks outing.
Archie Delsno left this morning for
Auburn where he has employment as a
carpenter with firm of contractors.
r. F. Washburn returned here last
night after weeks stay at Greenvlle
and surrounding towns with the Hessel
Photo Tent.
Mrs. VIM. B. Kennison and daughter
of xeter, n. H., arrived on the five
o'clock train and are the guests of F. w.
Bucknsm and family.
Mr.. and Mrs. w. T. Robbins accom-
panied their guest, Miss Nettie Ross, as
far as Augusta, last Friday, and passed
the day in visiting the national soldiers
home at Togus.
Hon. William Knowlton, a prominent
Portland attorney, accompanied by his
wife and her mother, Mrs. Sanford, were
guests of Mr.. and Mrs. l.. L. Walton,
Thursday and Friday of last week.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1906-08-09
Auction Sale.

On account OF the removal Of the old
Heselton House livery stables to make
room for the new Town Hall, shall sell
at public auction on Saturday, Aug. Is,
1905, the entire livery stock, consisting
OF horses, carriages, harness, robes,
whips, etc. Ia connection with the
above sale l shall sell twenty new car
riages, consisting of Concord wagons.
express wagons, box buggies, etc., also
twenty-five new single harness. Sale at
10 30 a. M, sharp, rain or shine. L. w.
Chase, proprietor; a. Washburn, auc-
tioneer.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1906-08-09

The Maine Valve Company have some
bargains in secondhand bicycles.
The Skowhegan Market has Just re-
ceived a consignment Of perfectly sea-
soned native celery.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1906-08-09

Have you had any trouble in finding
ladies' white hose? Green & Barnard
keep them.
VIII be in my Office Wednesday and
Saturday evenings, $50 to s; come in
and investigate La ZaCualpa shares.
2w E. F. FAIRBRoTHER.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1906-08-09

saturday, Aug. 18th. and Monday,
aug 18th, c. Fl. Gardner will unload q
.'f Of grain. (dH kinds. II you want
W save some money be on hand.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1906-08-09
HEw ADVERTISEMENTS.

Wstch-Judkins Bros.
Tsxes-State of Maine.
Wsnted-W. II. Gannett.
Bankruptcy-J. e. Hewey.
N per cent-W. p. OrdW.y.
Bsnkru ptey-Danie Lewis.
Mems suits Dow & Carter.
An Extra Pair-C. +. Ward Co.
Natura izstion-W. r. Seekins.
vaudeville Lakewood Theater.
Drug Store Conveuience-Buckns
annual Field Meet-Somerset Pomona.
Groceries and Meats-K. c. Woodland & Son.
Daily Kennebec journal., 1906-04-04
Holt Scott.

George A. Holt and Miss Julia A.
Scott We're married Monday evening
1t the home Of the groom's parents.
llr. and Mrs J. W. Holt. The cere-
inony was performed by Rev. Robert
Lawton in the presence of a few OF
the close friends and relatives of bride
and groom. Otis r. Holt, brother of
the groom, was best man and Miss
Florence L. Scott, sister of the bride.
was bridesmaid. The bride wore a
beautiful dress of dark blue silk and
salried a bouquet Of white pinks, the
bridesmaid being goWned in white
silk muslin. Among the guests from
Gardinnt were three sisters of the
bride. Miss Florence L. Scott, Miss
Matte Scott and Mrs. Van Dassel.
Some useful and beautiful presents
were made the young couple and
hearty good wishes follow them into
tl.tir married life. After the wedding
Sc rvicc refreshments of ice cream and
cake were served.
Daily Kennebec journal., 1906-04-04
"CONCERT OF NATIONS"
Rehearsal Monday Night Was Very
Largely Attended.

The rehearsal for the Concert of Ma
tions" to be given under the auspices OF
the Univcrsalist church was largely at
tended Monday night Nearly 60 wcr,
pres mt and more are to join at the next
rehearsal. All were greatly pleased with
the singing. The music which is used is
patriotic. bright and tuncful. Aside from
the chorus work there will be in the reg
Ular concert solos. dues, quartcts, part
songs, etc. Several musical novelties will
be introduced which will be announced
later when they are fully decided upon.
will be 4 Juvenile chorus OF about 10 voices
organized. This will meet for tho first
rehearsal at o'clock next Monday after
noon.
The next rehearsal for the adult chorus
Will be at 7.30 o'clock Monday night, when
a number of new members are to join.
The following committee have the en-
tertainment in charge: Rev. Geo. Wilson
Scudier Mrs. NJ. NJ. Johnson, Mrs. Wal
ter Lynn. Mrs. Harvey Gatchell. Mrs. w.
II. GatchCll, Mrs. c. *. Tilden, Mrs. c.
w. Tilden, Mrs. c. a. Huff. Mrs. King,
Mrs Horace Gatchcll, Miss Helen Brown
Miss Esther Walker J. A. Snare. William
Runnels. Musical director, Prof. ~ ".
Littlefied of Bangor, Me.
Daily Kennebec journal., 1906-04-04
A VICTIM OF La GRIPPE.

Mrs. Henrietta A. s. Marsh, 100 W.
10th st., Los Angeles, Cal, President
Woman's Benevolent Assn, writes:
az suffered with n grippe for sevss
weeks, and nothing could do or take
helped me until tried Peruna.
az felt at once that I had ut last
secured the right medicine and kept
steadily improving. Within three weeks
l was fully restored, and am glad that
gave that truly great remedy trial.
I will never be without 1t again."
In a letter dated August 81, 1904, Mfs,
Marsh says: 81 have never yet heard
the efficacy Of Peruna questioned. We
still use it. I travelled through Ken
lucky and Tennessee three years ago,
where found Peruna doing its good
work. Much Of it is being used here
also."-Henrietta A. 8. Marsh.
Address DIR. Hartman, President OF
The Hartman 6anitariam, Columbus,
Ohio.
Revised Formula.-"For a number OF
years requests have come to me from
Il multitude of grateful friends, urging
that Pe-ru-na be given a slight laxative
quality. 1 have been experimenting
with laxative addition for quite a
length of time, and now feel gratifled
to announce to the friends of Pe-ru.ra
hat | have incorporated such a quail
" in the medicine which, in my opfr1-
ion. can only enhance it's well-known
be eneficial character.
SR HARTMAN NJ NJ