The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-04-11
A DANDY REPORT.

We fear that in the rush OF juicy
matter in. and In connection with, the
conference just held, the preposterous
financial report submitted at the Sun
day afternoon session has not had the
public attention which Is Its due. But
when 1t does receive that attention,
the beauties which 1t contains Will be
fully realized and appreciated. Ihe
report is made by q committee 'ap-
pointed to audit the accounts OF the
church for the year 1906" Appointed.
presumably, by President Smith, and
not at liberty to report anything which
he did not want reported. or to criti-
else In the least. anything which he
has done or authorized, 1t requires a
knowledge of this preliminary and par
amount fact to appreciate at Its full
value. the paragraph which relates to
the general account-keeping, which
reads thus
We have examined the accounts OF the
trustce-ln-trust, and are pleased to say
that they are kept In very business-like
manner that the mechanical part ls very
well done and that as matter OF book
keeping they leave nothing TO be desired.
That as a sort OF perJnanship expert
Ing. has q charm all its own, There is
but one thing lacking, and that Is the
statement that the ink used was good.
and that the figures are so large and
clear that "he may read who runs"
1t is q sort Of financial Barmecide
feast, wherein the dishes OF food are
unattainable, and the would-be diner
has his attention called ostentatiously
to the bill of fare, and he ls asked to
note its beauty of print, of coloring,
and the harmonious blending of print
and establishment II is really a very
stupid imposition upon the people. In
pretending to give them a financial ac-
counting, while In fact telling them
nothing at oil of the things that are
of interest or Importance.
The report then passes to the ac-
counts of the presiding Bishops Office,
devoting about half of the whole word
ing thereto. and praising the systems
Of account-keeping there also. Which
is feeding an empty belly on wind. And
1t praises the accounts of the Dcseret
concern itself with the News il that Is
not the official organ of the church "a
position which the News some months
ago disclaimed and repudiated), must
be one of the Mysteries of the King
dom"
This remarkable fake of a financial
report concludes with these brief para
graphs:
Ii gives us pleasure TO report to you,
finally that the accounting In the differ
ent departments leaves no room for crit
icism and so pleased were We with the
condition in which We found things that
our labors have occnsioned us great sat
isfactlon
The purposes for which disbursements
of the tithing revenues have been made
are exclusively for the use and benefit
OF the various interests of the church,
and therefore meet with our commenda-
tion and approval We arc satisfied from
our Investigations that the financial af-
fairs OF the church, under the direction
OF the first presidency, have been con-
Quoted In a most conservative and eco
nomical manner.
These conclusions disclose nothing
There is not a figure OF accounting.
and disbursements, let alone any detail
OF the expenditures. For report of
the finances Of any concern, the clerk
or financial agent who would attempt
to make this a pattern would find
himself bounced so quick that his head
wouldn't have a chance to indulge In
the swim that would come TO 1t later
on, AS report to a great community,
whose church tithing paid In amounted
last year to two million dollars. the
report is an insulting, silly hoax. 1t
discloses nothing. and assumes every
thing, even that the persons to whom
1t is made are chumps whose demands
or reasonable expectations are not
worthy Of any consideration above that
Of the most supercilious contempt It
is the boss fake of the hierarchical
imposture upon a credulous and de-
voted people.