davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03
JAM E s
BARTON
ADAM S
How Jake Got Even

This ere Jake Smith was 'dopted
boy
That lived along O. Wilder Mccoy,
a runt of youngstel, undersize.
With bushy topnot above his eyes.
He didn't never have much to say;
Jes' went around in a quiet way
A doin' the chores fur the widder, and
A lendin' the neghbors a helpin'
hand.
The boys O. the village didn't take
In friendly manner to this ere
Jake,
An one especially-my boy Vance
Was pickin' at him at every chance.
Him bein' 'dopted boy about
Made all O. the others feel that he
Was below EN- in social standin',
The widder put Jake in the village
school,
An he soon showed plain that he
want no fool,
Fur t seemed no trouble fur him to
The other youngsters in every class
This riled my Vance, an he picked a
fight,
That cost Jake half O. his usual sight,
One eye bein' busted out O. his
head
Which was sure accident, folks all
There was some excitement in town
one day
When Jake was missin'. He d run
away,
The reason bein' because O. the low
Down way that the youngsters abused
him So
An he left note on his garret bed
Addressed to the wilder in which he
said
He would sure git even with that boy
Vance
If he waited lifetime to git
chance.
The years passed on, an never word
From the one eyed runaway boy was
heard,
An the growed up boys left their
daddies care
To seek fur their betterin' here an
there.
My boy lit out fur the city, and
Nns ;llish 7
An it hit me settler to hear that he
Had got arrested fur robbery.
The lecture he got from the Judge
afore
Pernouncin' sentence sure cut him
sore,
An it stunned him a-plenty when he
got
The hull durn limit the law had sot
| wondered why he was SO severe
When the crime want dese1vin'
more n year
Till l caught look at one eye that
showed
1t was artifcial-an' then l knowed
Russia has 900, 900 people of noble
birth, large percentage of whom
are acting in very ignoble manner.
SIS love dream p asks a Phila-
delphia poetess 1t usually is, and
in many instances matrimony quickly
dispels it.
In taking Farr Toogood for her
husband, Deadwood girl had per.
haps failed in finding one that was
just good enough.
Many man, while undergoing a
domestic cross examination, thinks
his wife would make crackajack
prosecuting attorney.
1t is evident from his speech in the
house that Representative Longworth
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

Topeka gave hen party this
week at which the hens didn do any
gossiping, says the Leavenworth
Post. How about cackling2
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

A man who appeared in a Denver
police court with badly bruised face
told the judge it was the result of
falling off the water wagon, which
was perhaps tue.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

The Denver and Rio Grande operate
through Pullman tourist sleepers from
Glenwood Springs to Los Angeles and
San Francisco every day without
change of cars.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03
JINCLES AND JESTS
c PvRioHT
1905 aY
LEE kANCy

has no love to waste on the Filipinos.
1t is all engaged elsewhere
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03


1t is all engaged elsewhere
Topeka gave hen party this
week at which the hens didn't do any
gossiping, says the Leavenworth
Post How about cackling2
man who appeared in a Denver
police court with badly bruised face
told the judge it was the result of
falling off the water wagon, which
was perhaps tue.
If Secretary Taft continues to so
rapidly reduce his weigh there may
soon be nothing lett of him but
bundle of presidential aspirations and
suit of mistit clothes.
Philadelphia woman aged 1876,
who had smoked for more than a
century. swore off late last year and
died few weeks later. Put that in
your anti tobacco pipe and Try few
whifs of it.
The Rockefeller Bible class is go.
ing to give pink teas. This may
arouse the fears of the righteous that
it may yet drift into the smoker
class, with four round preliminaries
and main event.
Enquirer: The biggest cannon in
the United States is said to be in the
Brooklyn navy yard. The next big
gest is mounted in the speaker chair
in the national house of represent.
atives at Washington.
The potter of New York in
surance company, who stole some
silver spoons from the company, is to
be vigorously prosecuted The of
ticials will countenance no stealing
outside their own circle.
western congressman has paid
800 down for subscription to his
cornty paper for the next 100 years.
If paper should follow such a man
after death it would not be at all
necessary to print on asbestos paper.
When they made Colonel Bryan a
datto
He simply said, la staccato:
81 am proud, | confess,
But | shawnt' wear your dress''
And his bushes would shame
tomato.
Mark Twain wants to see the word
chauffeur abolished and the vacan-
cy filed by "mahout The public
is not so much interested in this as il
would be in movement to have all
gasoline machines fitted with stink
consumers
He struggles Though lifetime
grasping wealth,
The fires of moneymania heat his
BRAIN
He slowly wears away the base of
health
Until it crumbles meath the
fearful strain.
His mad ambition leads him on and
Toward colossal fortune, till at
He sees the fast declining of sun
He cannot stay with all his
wealth so vast.
He'd give twofold the ransom of a
king
For one year of life; aye! cen
his all,
But gold can never turn aside death
sting,
And soon he lies beneath the
funeral pail
A silent form of pulseless clay, cut
loose
From winnings of a lifetime.
What's the use2
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

Many man, while undergoing q
domestic cross examination, thinks
his wife would make a crackaj ia OK
prosecuting attorney.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

If Secretary Taft continues to so
rapidly reduce his weigh there may
soon be nothing lett of him but a
bundle of presidential aspirations and
suit of misft clothes
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

1t is evident from his speech in the
house that Representative Longworth
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03
Gas in the Stomach

Belching and that sense of fullness
often experienced after eating is
caused by the formation of gas. The
stomach fails to perform its functions
and the food ferments. Chamber
lain's Stomach and Liver Tablets will
correct the disorder. They aid di-
gestion and strengthen and invigorate
the stomach and bowels. For sale by
all dealers.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

Enquirer: The biggest cannon in
the United States is said to be in the
Brooklyn navy yard. The next big
gest is mounted in the speakers chair
in the national house of represent.
atives at Washington.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

The potter of New York in
surance company, who stole some
silver spoons from the company, is to
be vigorously prosecuted. The Of
tiCials will countenance no stealing
outside their own circle.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

A Philadelphia woman aged 1856,
who had smoked for more than a
century swore off late last year and
died few weeks later. Put that in
your anti tobacco pipe and Try few
whiifs of it.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

The Rockefeller Bible class is GO
ing to give pink teas This may
arouse the fears of the righteous tha
it may yet drift into the smoker"
class, with four round preliminaries
and a main event.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

A western congressman has paid
800 down for subscription to his
cornty paper for the next 100 years.
If paper should follow such man
after death it would not be at all
necessary to print on asbestos paper.
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

In taking Farr Toogood for he
husband, a Deadwood girl had per
haps failed in finding one that wa
just good enough
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

When they made Colonel Bryan a
datto
He simply said, a la staccato:
i am proud, | confess,
But | shawnt' wear your dressl''
And his bushes would shame
tomato
The Glenwood post., 1906-02-03

Mark Twain wants to see the word
chauffeur abolished and the vacan E
cy filled by 'mahout The public
is not so much interested in this as it
would be in a movement to have all
gasoline machines fitted with stink
consumers
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
GAS MAN FEELS SAFE
ABOUT CITY OWNERSHIP

Cincinnati, March o. Municipal
ownership was discussed briefly by
President Donald Mcdonald of Louis
vile, before the Ohio Gaslight asso-
citation now in session in this city.
This organization was originally in
tended for the benefit of Ohio gas
makers, but has extended its member
ship into most of the states east of the
Rocky mountains. In the course of
his annual address, President Melon
aid said:
81 believe that in the American
cities, organized as they are, munich
pal ownership will be great mistake,
but I do not believe that it is the duty
of the gas men to oppose this idea to
any greater extent than it is the duty
Of all good citizens to oppose it. =
eff the public wants our works
they will pay for them, and
apart from the protection afforded by
them and apart from the protection
afforded by law, the national sense of
fair play in the American people is
sufficient guarantee that if the works
are taken and paid for, they will be
paid for at fair price.
my opinion is, however, that the
time when the American people will
! be willing to embark in the manufac
ture Of gas and will create the debt:
necessary to do so, and ratify these
debts at popular elections, is as far of
| today as it ever was.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
GIRL WINS CONTEST
Lawrence COED Takes First Place in
Oratorical Competition.

BELOIT, WIS.-The Wisconsin collegiate ora
torical contest between Beloit and Ripon colleges
won last night by Miss Martha Irish of Law
renee. This is the first time girl has ever
won the contest. She will represent this state
at the interstate contest at Topeka, KAN, on
May 4.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
HAVANA ALARMED BY
SHIPMENTS OF ARMS

:. Havana, March 22.-secret police
ammunition and dynamite sent by OK
press from the interior of the island
to Havana and carried to a private
house. Three arrests have been made
in connection with the seizure. The au-
thorities declare there is no cause for
apprehension, but the police reserve
has been increased in view of a posi-.
BILE demonstration with the object of
preventing the converting Of the new
congress April 2.
An official Of the Pan-American Elk,
position company declared before the
Judge last evening that in the last few
days numerous packages similar to the
ones seized by the police had been de-
livered to the same address and that
the packages came from various parts
of the island.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
RULING ON STATE
SW lamp LAND CASE
Attorney General Moody Will
Probably Put It Up to
Hitchcock.
Ry w. w. Jermane.

Washington, March %. = Attorney
General Young of Minnesota had con
ferences with officials of the interior
department and the department of JUS
tice yesterday afternoon, discussing the
question raised by the department Of
agriculture as to the practice Of the
government in adjusting the Minnesota
learned, he is abount convinced that
Attorney General Moody will sent the
case back to Secretary Hitchcock with
polite refusal to pass upon the ques-
ton raised by officials of the depart
ment Of agriculture-or, in other words,
to tell both of the other departments
that they have presented a "moot ques-
tion," which he does not care to de-
eide.
When the method of determining the
swampy condition Of lands in Mime
sofa was challenged, no specific ques-
ton was asked. Clifford Pinchot, chief
of the forest reserve, suggested thru
the secretary of agriculture that the
method of disposal was wrong, and that
the secretary of the interior should ask
the attorney general If the method he
had been following was the right one.
After two months consideration, the
attorney general asked the secretary of
the interior to send up statement OF
facts. The legal officers of the interior
department did not quite grasp what
| the attorney general wanted, but they
are preparing long statement of the
history of the swamp land grant and
the practice governing the patenting
of these lands to the state. But with
all this information before him, Attor
ney General Young, and legal Officers
of the department, believe that the at
torney general will not make a deci
7 sion, but will leave the disposition Of
| the swamp lands to the secretary Of thu
| interior. This will mean that the prac
tice of using field notes Of survey a.
prima facie evidence of the swampy'
character Of lands will be continued.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
DIES ON ANNIVERSARY
Minnesota Pioneers Death Occurs at
r. Duluth,

DULUTH, MINN.-Erin Dunlap pioneer of
Minnesota, died last evening in this city at the
age Of 16 years. He served turnout the war
as orderly sergeant Of Company of the Forty
third volunteer infantry. Mr.. Dunlap lived most
of his life at Sank Center. this state, where his
remains will be taken. His death occurred on
the fortieth anniversary of his wedding. A
widow and three children survive him.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
LAND OF LIBERTY IS
SHUT TO 2 RUSSIANS
Journal Special Service.

Journal Special Service. =
Washington, March 22-Two desert
ers from the Russian navy who have
been held by the quarantine officers at
San Francisco because they are suffer
ing with trachoma will be deported.
They are Michael Norwala Mikolarsky
and Felix Kosevitch, who arrived at
San Francisco Jan. IA on the French
steamer Dupree. President Roosevelt,
to whom an appeal was made, has de-
clined to allow the men to land, as the
law applying to their cases is mandatory.
It provides that persons suffering with
trachoma must be deported. Tracho-
ma is a contagious disease of the eye.
Secretary Metcalf has done all in his
power to assist the two Russians, in
response to the appeals Of various Jew
ish societies Of this country. The full
est investigation has been made in the
cases of the men and they have been
subjected to numerous examinations to
determine whether or not there has
been any improvement in their condi-
tion. They have been permitted to re-
main at the quarantine station two
months. and been given medical treat
ment, but the disease has not disap
| peared.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
CUMMINS SAYS HE DID
NOT CHARGE BRIBERY

Des Moines, March 22.-Governor
resolution Of inquiry respecting tho
charge made by the governor in, his
letter to the republicans Of Iowa to
the effect that the railroad lobby has
been working against the primary cleo
ton bill.
He stated that he had not charged
members of the legislature with being
bribed or the railroad lobby with cor
ruption Of. the, members Of the -legisla-
tured into that sort of meaning. But
he maintained the truthfulness of his
charge that the railroads of the state
are interested in defeating real primary
election legislation and have worked
against bills pending in the legislature.
The impression prevailed in the legis-
lature that the incident was closed.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
ARCAEUMITE BLOCKS
EXPULSION ORDERS

Syracuse, N. Y, March 22-Frank Z.
Wilcox, who is one Of the leaders Of the
9ppoSition to the increased rates Of the
expelled by Supreme Regent Howard c.
Virgins Of Rome, on findings Of
committee of the supreme council, after
trial, has secured from Justice Watson
NJ. Rogers here an injunction, the effect
Of which is to give him all privileges Of
membership in the order, pending the
final determination of suit brought by
him against the supreme council for re-
instatement. The injunction forbids
the publication Of the proceedings be-
fore the trial committee, which were to
have been published in the April Bull
letin, the organ Of the order.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
CODED TO ANOTHER
In Her HONEYMOON
Mrs. Duke Had an Aged Core
spondent Who Wrote Warm
Ads, Says MIR. Duke.

Journal Special Service.
New York, March %. Sensational
ALLEGATIONS are made in affdavits pre-
sented by counsel for James B. Duke,
president of the American Tobacco
company, who is suing his wife, Lillian
v. Duke, for an absolute divorce.
Frank T. Huntoon, who is 81 years
old, is named in Mr.. Dukes suit. In
the affdavits made by Mr.. Duke and
by servants of Mrs. Duke, it is alleged
that on the night of her wedding, Nov.
20, 1904, Mrs. Duke telegraphed to
Huntoon. 1t is charged further that
turnout the honeymoon in Europe she
was in communication with him and
that during her absence he occupied the
mansion Mr.. Duke bought as wedding
present. at II West Sixty eighth street.
The most startling allegation was in
an affidavit charging that during her
honeymoon trip Mrs. Duke cabled, tele-
graphed and wrote to Huntoon almost
Constantly. He had two ways of re-
plying. One was by inserting a "per-
ssonal'' in the New York Herald with
European edition of that publication.
Some Of the "personals - filed with
affdavits read as follows:
"Can nurse you back to happiness
Not too late, unless you are contented
with present surroundings. That is
impossible. isn't it9'
'"At your home all is sad and lonely
Vacant chair recalls absent one. You
house pets are we'll. The bird sings
sweetly. I dream every night you will
be mine forever. Don't wear low
necked dresses. ~
| ooh, memories that bless and burn
This separation is killing. Please don =
wear low-necked dresses. Shall enjoy
your house until octopus returns, whe1
that pleasure will cease.'
The other method of communication
sounded as bizarre as something from
French farce comedy. In the affidavit
Young woman said that Huntoon wrot
letters addressed to her and that sh
turned them to Mrs. Duke withou
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
DENMARK WILL AID
AUTO POLAR HUNT

Journal Special Service.
Copenhagen, March 22.-The budget
committee has Endorsed the govern
ment 8 proposal to appropriate $4,000
for Milruse Erickson projected expe-
dition to northeast Greenland, whence
he will attempt to reach the north pole.
The most adventurous part Of Erick-
sens scheme will be the attempt to
cross the inland ice, where Greenland
sledges and an automobile. The at
tempt will be made in the spring Of
1908. Should Erickson succeed, his
feat would eclipse DR.. Nansen g much
more southerly crossing. Erickson will
sail from Copenhagen July 10.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
CRACKSMAN AND WIFE,
SHOPLIFTER, REUNITED
journal Special Service.

Journal Special Service.
New York, March "a Butch -
Bradley, notorious craftsman, found his
wife, whom he has not seen for years,
in the line at the Tombs police court
today. The woman is an expert shop
litter. She is known as Grace Bennett,
Rein and Becker.
This morning Bradley recognized his
wife as she waited for the detective
sergeants to be introduced to their
guests of night: The pair began to
send Geographic signals with hand and
eye. Pretty soon they got near enough
to say a low word Of greeting. They
appeared to be glad to meet, and If
both are released they will remain to-
gether until out-oftown engagements
separate them.
Two policemen tried to arrest Brad
ley in Chicago in 1901. He held both
off with his gun. When the policemen
closed in on him he pulled the trigger,
but the gun missed fire. He was cap
tured and sent to prison.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
GIRL GIVES THE OATH
TO A CHIEF JUSTICE
Journal Special Service.

Journal Special Service. 49,
Montgomery, Ala, March 22.-The
honor Of swearing in chief justice Of
her state is the unique one that has
come to Miss Mamie Offutt, the official
notary and stenographer of the govern
or of Alabama.
Samuel D. Weakley of Birmingham,
was appointed chief justice Of the su-
preme court to succeed Thomas N. Nc
Clellan, deceased. He came to the CAPT
tai to be sworn in today. Casting about
for someone with authority to admins
ter the obligation, it was found that the
governors stenographer was, the only
notary present. After some persuasion
she consented.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
MISERY FROM KIDNEYS

Mrs VIM Eckerson, $40 Liberty street,
Schenectady, N. Y, adds her testimony to
the thousands of testimonials received
from sufferers who have been cured by
WARMERS SAFE CURE and WAR
NER'S PILLS. She says: my health
began to fail. I grew steadily worse with
kidney trouble. became discouraged
and was about to give up the struggle
when I commenced to take WARMERS
SAFE CURE. I am today a well woman,
and my recovery is solely due to WAR
NER'S" - .''.
WARMERS SAFE CURE is purely
vegetable and contains no harmful drugs;
it does not constipate; it is now put up in
two regular sizes and is sold by All drug
gists, or direct, at so CENTS and $1.00 A
BOTTLE. ~-.. t----
Refuse substitutes. They contain
harmful drugs, and do the patient more
TRIAL BoTTLE FREE-To convince
every sufferer from diseases Of the kid
ney, liver bladder and blood Of the value
Of Warmers Safe Cure, trial bottle will
be sent absolutely free to any one who
will write WARNER SAFE CURE CO.,
ROCHESTER, N. ", and mention having
seen this liberal offer in The Minneapolis
Journal. Our doctors will also send medi-
cal booklet, containing symptoms and
| treatment of each disease and many con.
vincing testimonials, free. @'. .-
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
DISEASED KIDNEYS

If Any of Your Family in This or Past
Generations Have Been Troubled with
Kidney Disease, Make a Test Of
Your Urine and Satisfy
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
A Habit to Be ENCOURAGED.

habit Of keeping on hand bottle of
Chamberlain s Cough Remedy saves her
self a great amount of uneasiness and
anxiety. Coughs, colds and Group, to
which children are susceptible, are quick
ly cured by it's use. 1t counteracts any
tendency of a cold to result in pneu-
monia, and if given as soon as the first
symptoms Of Group appear, it will pre-
vent the attack. This remedy contains
to little ones with a feeling of perfect
security.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
GALE CAUSES TERROR
IN WISCONSIN CITY
Special to The Journal.

Special to The Journal.
La Crosse, Wis, March pa wind
blowing thirty-six miles an hour did
considerable damage at La Crosse and
vicinity yesterday. Telephone cables
wall of the fire ruins of the McCord.
building was blown down, dana cling an
of live Wires into crowd Of girls just
pouring out Of the factories. Several
had narrow escapes from death. Sev-
eral days will be required to repair
the damage done to the telephone and
lighting companies.
Gale at Madison.
Considerable damage was done to
trees, windows and iceboats at Madi-
son, the gale rising to fifty miles an
hour. The big windows of the. Ameri-
can Trust company were blown in.
At Oshkosh the galeAwas so powerful
that it swept planks from lumber piles
in the mill districts. AL of the large
mills and factories at Oshkosh closed
down: on account of the danger from
fires. Many wires are down.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-22
CURED FREE.
Warmers S9fe cure

is the Best Cure for All Forms of Kidney
Disease. A Trial Bottle Will Be Sent
ABSOLUTELY FREE to Any
Reader of The Journal.
TEST YOUR KIDNEYS: Put some
morning urine in a glass or bottle. let 1t
stand for twenty-four hours. If then it
is milky or cloudy or contains reddish
brick dust sediment, or if particles or
germs float about in it, your kidneys are
diseased. If, after you have made this
test, you have any doubt in your mind as
to the development Of the disease in your
system, send us a sample Of your urine,
and our doctors will analyze it and send
you report with advice free.
WARMERS SAFE CURE is used for
all forms of kidney, liver, bladder and
blood diseases; uric acid poison, rheu-
matte govt, diabetes, pain in the back,
scalding and painful passage Of urine,
BEARING down and nd s. sorcalled female weak