St. Tammany farmer., 1906-02-03

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"You have asked me the one ques
tion can't answer, SO make YOU
choice and get by II you can, thank
ing heaven"
The man replied that l ought to be
arrested, as l had been going at 2(
miles an hour. This remark de
pressed me, for / thought had beer
going 80 miles an hour at the very
least.
With much effort l lifted the front
wheel round till the tricycle. faced the
east again. 1t was like moving q
house. Then l attempted to pedal the
machine home, but I might as well
have gone astride a traction engine
I finally went for the coachman, and
although he showed no real ardor in
the job, we managed to worry the re
luctant brute up the hill and into the
front yard.
My house Is built on the top OF q
hill, and to the south of it lies q
broad and very long terrace OF
smoothly shaven turf. It at once oc.
CURED to me that this billiard-table
plateau was the ideal spot on which
to tame the mechanical steed had
acquired, SO I requested Rogers to
assist me in getting it down there.
Seated on garden chair, with the
book of instructions In my hand and
the tricycle. Immediately before me,
studied the construction OF the thing
with ever-increasing intelligence.
A lonely lunch had been quickly
dispatched, and l was out again on
the lawn basking il the sunshine,
listening to the birds, and reading
some such. romantic effusion as fol
lows:
Push forward lever A, which opens
the exhaust. This may be closed
when full speed is attained Advance
B until sufficient air enters the valve.
Set G at such an angle that vapor
enough reaches y to form correct mix.
ture. D regulates the electric spark.
Care must be taken not to-" etc.
Every now and then / thought I
had 1t, and sprang into the saddle;
but the more learned Of theory the
less my. practice advanced. It seemed
as II the monstrosity was sulking be-
cause had jammed back all four
Io1yors a. nnoo xuhox un rrnt thu hnraa
The sun lowered in the west, and /
was just on the verge of success
she had given q bark and one kick for.
ward-when I heard the crunch OF
wheels on the gravel, and an aston
ished voice cried:
Where on earth did that horror
come from?'
This? Oh, this was trundled out
here by friend of mine from Lon.
don. He left it for me to practice
on. How did the concert go?"
"Excenently. | hope you don't intend
to buy that thing?"
'To buy it! l have no such inten.
ton"
This quite truthful evasion only re.
tarded the electric spark (as the mo-
tor book has it) for a short period.
quite forget that I had left my
check-book open on the library table,
and that veracious volume gave me
away the moment my women-folk en-
tered the house.
The check-book divulged the full
criminality Of my conduct. The two
ladies came out, sat down on lawn
chairs, and made sarcastic remarks
about my personal appearance and the
attitudes ! assumed in the saddle,
be able to sell the machine, they were
sure, II I went on the stage, Paddy
Roosky could not compete with me,
and thus we would get our money
back.
One hind wheel was lacked up, and
was in the saddle, pulling levers
this way and that, pumping with my
feet all the time. The loose wheel in
the air worked easier than when on
the ground. Like q burst Of fire.
works the thing went OF. The wheel
rotated like mad, and our whole COM
bination shuddered as II an earthquake
were in active operation.
"Now work the levers till you un-
derstand them," advised Rogers.
Alas! he let 60 the jack and it
trembled forward. The live wheel
touched the earth, and of we went
like bucking broncho In cyclone
/ have but dazed recollection Of
what followed. remember q scream
from one section Of my family, and
a yell Of Turn! turn!" from the
other. then the frantic internal ma
chine plunged down the barberry
slope, and l was shot over the handle
bar head first into dwarf pear-tree.
Poets may. write OF the beauties Of
motoring If they like, but all l have
to say on the subject is contained
in the original stanza given below.
L,ENvOI.
For Sale, an excellent motor-tri-
cycle, practically as good as new.
Ridden twice by its present owner.
Brass tank for touring. Reason for
selling, owner is writing fiction and
has no time to devote to more absorb
ing occupation.
Struck the Wrong Customer.
Canyasser with prospectus Of new
publication) Can Interest you,
ma,am, In Our Home Life
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