davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19
~ - ~ - AAA AMMAMMa

What happened, who was to blame and
who the offended customer was and SO
on is discussed after the rush.
Another phase of the Times square
restaurant during rush hours is the
mixing bar and cocktail factory. Most
Times square hotels have public bars.
but the restaurant which makes the
greater part of its profits from the
serving of choice liquors has its little
sanctum slowed away where the thirsty
cease from troubling and barkeepers
work In peace.
Here the kitchen scene Is repeated.
but in narrower space and instead Of
food 1t is liquor that is f1pped and
tossed and the voice of the shaker is
loud In the land. The walters crowd i'm
and, holding out their books for the
checkers stamp howl their orders. The
checker hears them and stamps the
charges the mixers hear them and
howl repetition.
"Martini-dash of absinthe!"
'Martini-dash of absinthel Bring up
your glasses, damn you! Tom Collinsl
Creme de Yvette. (Smash.) What's the
matter with you? Yer all thumbs! Two
gin rickeys-pony brandy-well, that's
What you asked for-pony three star
that's different. Pint Blank fzz!"
And so on And so on. There is a rat
tie of glasses, the swish of bottle be-
ing pulled from the ice bins and ever
the voice of the "shaker"-chicka-
a-chicka-chicka-an ever the
monotonous repetition of the checker:
Tom Collins (stamp). Scotch high
Istamp). Creme Cacao (stamp). pint
Moselle (stamp). Haut-Haut-HaIIt-
what? Haut what? Wait minute" A
glance at the wine list. then: "Haut
Barsac (stamp)."
Then in rushes a waiter, who saws
with a grin:
Mr.. Blank says his and leave the
bottle" 'io
open a new bottle Kentucky" howls
the chief mixer.
Rattle, smash, shake, check! Then
six Manhattan cocktails for her
ladyship."
"Lordl Is she here again?" says the
checker.
1t is the cocktail woman, who arrives
once day and, after drinking six to
ten cocktails, walks out as steady OF
foot and clear of eye as If she had
merely ruminated on the follies of
others.
At 1 a. m. the rush begins to wear
Off. Down in the inferno the chef stands
back from the stoves, takes off his
white cap and wipes his brow The
quiet clam opener in the corner curls
up and dozes. In the cocktail factory
the mixers draw beer or two and one
of them may remark:
This isn't marble dust and gas at
four bones throw, but it's the only
drink. Prosit! Been a tough night
Billy"
In another corner an elevator is
ascending and descending, carrying UP
cans of scraps (Which will feed Jersey
cows or the city bread line) and re-
turning empty for fresh load. Near the
place where the wagons carry off the
scraps the bright portals emit the hum
of music and a stream of diners, the
women giggling. the men full-cigared
and content. Then the jehus wave
their whips
"Home!" say the diners.-New York
Times.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19

he found on his desk at the library
was Much Ado, 1-1132." He looked it
up and read:
Il had rather hear my dog bark at
crow than a man swear he loves me-"
He responded. Hamlet V, l." and she
found:
Every dog will have his day"
For more than week the hemp
business sadly was neglected and then
one day when the girl left her place
at the desk Sherwin, glancing over,
saw slip, and later, with much hope
and more fear, he captured it and saw
upon it, LAS You Like 1t, 4-1-6S," and
later he read:
Come, WOO me- WOO me, for now
am in holiday humor and like enough
to consent"
1t is on that passage that her friends
base their charge that Miss Porthman
proposed. She has two defenses. One.
that she never meant that quotation
for Sherwin at all, and another that,
even if she did. he already had pro-
posed in his first Shakespearean effort.
Sherwin war not slow in following
up this advantage, and the following
day he mailed Miss Porthman whose
name and address he had secured,
81. Henry VI, $685." which reads:
NiAi NCuiN NOO liCi' yCl bdl
not speak"
The answer rather staggered him,
for it was "T. and Tempest" 3-1-S1:
Il am your wife if you will marry
me-"
About two hours later a messenger
boy stopped at the Porthman home out
in Newton Center and delivered small
box to Miss Porthman. The messenger
boy said:
DE guy wot give me dis said tell de
loidy, Two Gentlemen of Verony, four,
four, one-toity-s 1 don't know
wot he's gettin' at, but dat's wot he
said"
She Receives the Ring
So Miss Porthman hunted her Shakes
peare and found:
Madame, he sends your ladyship this
ring"
Shakespeare was rather forgotten
during the following week. They hadn't
time to look anything up, and besides
they were talking poetry and blank
verse of their own making. The great
trouble was that Miss Porthman was
employed as teacher in a private school
and she knew the men who controlled 1t
would not release her until vacation
time. But one morning the principal Of
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19

cellent vantage ground for sightseers
to view the ships at long range.
Besides its use as a harbor, the en-
closed basin will serve as an arena for
water sports, swimming matches, water
polo and such games. and possibly for
the exhibition of various models of
motor launches. Boats will leave the
main landing at the shore end of the
basin and circle the outer harbor, or
take passengers to the various ships,
while the sea end may be used as a
landing place for larger boats.
The dimensions of this enormous
basin can hardly be comprehended
without some comparisons. The great
est length is about nine ordinary city
blocks; the connecting pier at the end
is six blocks long. and the width of the
piers is the length of the average block,
two hundred feet.
The total pier-way therefore equals
the superficial area of twenty-four city
blocks, ample space for a multitude of
displays, and space that will be utilized
for such purposes.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19

| would, because of his love for her
daughter forsake his own mother and
| live with her.
Miss Carnahan told Mrs. Witherow
| that, for love Of her son, she was ready
to forsake her own mother and live
there.
cambridge contained the two most
eXultant mothers on earth that day, but
there was CONSERVATION when With
crow and Miss Carnahan confessed to
each other what they had done.
Then the situation looked darker than
ever. Each mother was angry because
her child had agreed to forsake her, and
yet much pleased because the others
child had come to her.
1t was at that climax that the lovers
held consultation, again in the ham,
mock in the side yard, which resulted
in a joint meeting of the mothers and
children in the parlor of Mrs. Carna-
hans house the next day. Miss Carna-
han explained the plan she and her
sweetheart had agreed upon, and after
some deliberation both mothers ac-
cepted, especially after the lovers ex
planned that unless their conditions
were accepted they would go to Chilli
cothe, get married and make their homo
there.
The agreement was: First, that the
wedding was to be in the church.
Second-That the first month after
the wedding was to be spent in Col
orado.
Third-That on their return home
they should live for the first two weeks
with Mrs. Carnahan.
Fourth-That the second two weeks
was to be spent with Mrs. Witherow,
and that they should thereafter reside
alternately two weeks with one and
then two weeks with the other
The agreement was accepted formally,
and the couple believe that they have
solved the mother-in-law problem sue
cessfully, because their life is one con-
slant round of visiting under the most
delightful circumstances, and tho
widows themselves are, If possible, more
pleased than the children, because, as
they said at the sewing society recently,
they don't see enough of the children to
get bored or to bore them, and have the
plea sureable anticipation of each visit
Chicago Tribune.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19
Supposed That You Can Reach Mans Heart Through His Stomach


TNHERE is no doubt about i'll The
way to a mans heart is through
his stomach-aye. and to his busi-
ness, his humors, his everything. When
one considers the amount Of history
that has been made upon a good meal
and the amount of history made for
the lack of one. the influence of a
healthy or otherwise stomach upon civ
ilization must be appreciated.
1 was never good at remembering
names. but recollections of the Bible
and later history and story books at
school TEEN with memories of men
who were "flled with good wine" and
of women who laid meals before them
as preliminary to all things.
We advance in science, intelligence
and physical culture, but 1t does not
seem that we will ever get away from
that reminder of our ungodlike state
the inner man who stops trains for
twenty minutes" who stops the bus
mess of the whole world several times
a day, who Is the first anxiety of the
muse and the last care of the surgeon.
L
dare say they began that striving to
excellence in the matter of dining. The
striving has been going on ever since.
and one may mark the milestones in
the feasts of Noah, Peter and other
epicurian gentry. And in the many
queer feasts that have been reported
in the last few years one may see that
striving toward the novelty so neces-
sary to the surfeited appetite.
Thirteen at Table
The dinners of the Thirteen club in
New York city are excellent examples
of what can be done to induce the inner
man to stop sulking. To sit thirteen at
a table canopied with umbrellas and
with thirteen candles stuck in an equal
number of grinning skulls almost drives
the inner man to shame or curiosity,
so that he either eats to see what will
happen or says to himself
well, with hoodoos all around 1
might as we'll have a last square meal.
1 know one amusing case of an inner
mans melancholy. The guardian of
that inner man didn't know what to
do with him (or it,. He (or it, sulked
three times day and refused to be
comforted. Finally the guardian of
the inner man went to a friend-a gray
old colonel, tanned with the years and
picked Wltn-WlJn plCkle-dnu dIleT
expressing his wonder at the coloneTs
good health, asked him-gloomily of
course-what was the use of eating, /
1t was a waste of time, he
said. and distasteful.
What" said the colonel. indignant .
ly. You don't appreciate the favors
of God, sir. What's the use? HUH If
I couldn't eat four times a day and
enjoy it I'd ask the good Lord to re-
move me and the favors at the same
time. What your inner man wants, sir !
is a holiday, a little outing. II you
can't face a restaurant. why, climb /
tree. man. climb a treei Bet you $40
you'll eat like a horse"
And it was even so. The melancholy /
one climbed tree in his country home
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19

for toll, and as meals have improved
so has the toll Of making increased.
Where They Work
While the orchestra drones and the
usher shows you and the lady to a table
and the waiter murmurs something
about nothing while his deft hand
saves you even the trouble of drawing
In your chair down in the basement
scores OF men are slaving that these
things may be possible. Even while
the waiter bows and intimates by a
wave of the hand that broiled lobster
shall glide from the sea to the plate.
being cooked en- route down below the
slaves of the tyrant inner man are pull
ing that lobster from the ice box and
through four or FIVE departments More
departments are measuring out the
number of plates you will want and
the silver you will need, and the waiter,
visiting another department, states
what size of tray you will require for
pleasing service.
And all because you said you were
willing to pay a dollar for a broiled
lobster The waiter may know you by
name, but whether he does or not mat
ters little, except that a certain ac-
quaintance may make the choice of that
lobster little more personal than sys-
tematic. For the rest you are only a
number on the top of a bill check,
which passes from shellfsh department
to salad department, to grill depart
nent and a dozen other departments
whence come your soups. fish. relishes
desserts, ices. cheeses and beverages
that cheer and do, or do not, inebriate,
according to your choice.)
1t certainly is wonderful sight down
below herewith the slaves by the
galley fires. The diners who raise their
glasses to the radiant. smiling women
lcross the table would be surprised i'll
hey could peep into this inferno OF heat
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19
Solves the M0ther-in-Law Problem
4 sa

M r. AND MRS. CURTIS L. WITH
w EROW of 11S Fifth street and
227 Main street, Bainbridge. o.,
have solved the mother-in-law problem
in what, perhaps, is the oldest way
ever discovered. They are contented
and we'll satisfied with the Ditua ton
and the mothers-in-law are pleased.
The solution stopped-or rather pre-
vented-what threatened to be bitter
family feud, restored harmony in a
family that for a time seemed certain
to be disrupted. made friends OF two
life long foes-and. besides that. in
sured Mr.. and Mrs. Witherow two most
delightful homes and change of seen e
and surroundings every fortnight, with
practically none of the cares of house
keeping.
The story begins away back, many
years ago, when Miss Jennie Coleman
and Miss Rachel Polk w-re two of the
bellies of the fertile ard popuous Paint
creek valleI that surrounds Bal bridge.
There was no excursion over to Copperas
mountain, no outing 10 the rapids, no
picnic at the caves up in the hills on the
Rocky fork where these two were not
the rivals; and it so happened, as it
generally seems to happen that they
both fell in love with the same man.
The man was Fred Witherow, a wealthy
farmer down near Cynthiana-a few
miles out of Bainbridge. Witherow
married Rachel Polk, and, just to show
that she was not heartbroken. or at
least it is told that way, Miss Coleman
accepted Jim Carnahan within the next
week.
One Baby a Boy, Other Girl
A baby boy was born to Mr.. and Mrs.
Witherow a year after their maria ge,
and about two years later there was
born to Mr.. and Mrs. Carnahan a baby
girl, who grew up to be al beautiful
Except in the eyes of her old beauX) as
was her mother. And everybody around
Cynthiana and Bainbrldge admitted
that Curt Witherow was one of the best
looking young men in the county.
Carnahan and Witherow died within
a year of each other. and their widows
and their young children came to reside
in Bainbridge, and there Curtis With
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19

by figure who sits by a little table
and utters only one word:
Gets His Check
The waiter ratles off his orders and
the checkers hand makes decisive
marks on the bill. Then the waiter
passes to another room, where silver
knives. forks, spoons, etc. are plunging
through warm water and soap and slid
ing through napkins and chamois. Here
he gets his silver and, oddly enough,
the receipt of II is not checked. A
manager told me the other day that
thefts of silver rarely occurred, adding
that, in his opinion. human nature is
naturally inclined to honesty.
AS the waiter leaves the silver room,
his tray now ready for presentation, he
is liable to meet several walters COM
ing downstairs with soiled dishes and
silver. These, of course, go through
systematic departments, and in few
minutes are shining or white and clean
and ready for use again.
But the opposite currents on the stair
way often produce accidents waiter
with rush order may run right into
the waiter with the elaborate tray.
Crash! goes everything. There Is a mo-
ment of swearing on the part of the
waiter a howl from the chef, whose
men must begin over again. Then a
quiet man steps in, looks around, sees
the smash, but merely says:
"Clean that up, Tom. And hurry that
order over again"
Upstairs they complain that it is long
of coming. The waiter, whose heart is
full of profanity t that moment, smiles
delightfully."- and assures the gentleman
that even now the tray is coming up
the aisle. Having said so he dashes
into the kitchen to swear more. But
nobody pays much attention. The sys-
TEN moves and because there is one lit
tie cog gone wrong the wheel must not
stop just then to have 1t corrected.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19

the school received peculiar message.
1t took him and his assistant some time
to decipher it. The note read: "Othello,
l. 1-3-76.-Edwin L. Sherwin.''
The principal and his assistant looked
it up and read:
Most potent, grave and reverend
signiors"
and the rest of it, and after long dis
cussion they summoned Mr. Porthman,
who was one of the instructors of the
school, and told him his daughter had
eloped.
Mr.. and Mrs. Sherwin returned a
month later from their honeymoon trip
and started housekeeping in Brookline,
The facts regarding the Shakespearean
courtship became public slowly. Sher-
wins friends often wondered why he
kept a printed card on his desk which
read:
Julius Caesar, 2-1-S02," and those
who looked it up smiled to read:
20, We gods,
Render me worthy of this noble
wife"
Just a few weeks ago, almost on the
anniversary of their marriage, Mr.. and
Mrs. Sherwin sent out cards to some of
their more intimate friends bearing the
inscription:
Winters Tale, 2-3-97-Mr. and
Mrs. Edwin Lawrence Sherwin."
The quotation referred to is as fol-
lows:
Behold, my lords,
Although the print be little, the whole
matter
And copy of the father. eye, nose, lip,
The trick of his frown, his forehead,
nay, the valley,
The pretty dimples of his chin and
cheek; his smiles;
The very mold and frame of hand, nail,
finger. r."-Chicago Tribune.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19

mind and a sincere desire to know what
Significance the trainers wished to con-
vey by their words and phrases.
There are many railroad men who do
not approach 1t in that spirit, but in
the spirit of destructive criticism. They
do not wish to understand the law but
to find flaws. They know that the OBJ
tect of the law is to put a stop to GER
tain cherished railroad abuses, and they
wish to determine how far the law can
be twisted or misinterpreted so as to
work the least possible interference with
those abuses. They do not hold counsel
together to agree as to a method OF
complying with the law. but method
of getting around 1t.
1t would be more gratifying If the
railroad men were to go to those who
are to administer the law and ask them
what construction they put upon tho
provisions and what they would like
to have the railroads do In the way OF
conforming to It. II the interpreta-
tions put on any section OF the law by
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19

Executive officials and lawyers Of the
western roads met in Chicago to talk
over the new railroad rate law and find
out whether they were agreed as to its
meaning. 1t is said that they were not
that there were about as many inter-
pretations as there were lawyers.
The art Of writing laws, none of
whose clauses shall be obscure or
capable of more than one interpreta-
tion, appears to have been lost. Legis-
latures often are so careless or so over
worked that they pass blind laws and
leave il to the courts to say precisely
what they mean. 1t may be that there
are provisions Of the new interstate
commerce act which are not so clearly
worded as they might have been. al
though there is little room for doubt
as TO what they mean.
The law Is not hard to understand
when one approaches 1t with an open
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19
Unwilling to Understand in Railroad Affairs


those who have to execute it should
seem strained and unjust to the rail-
roads and they should be of that opin-
ion after the matter had been argued
between them, they should appeal to
the courts
The railroad lawyers do not approve
of that kind OF procedure. 1t suits
their purposes to assume that the law
swarms with unconstitutional proVis-
ions. obscurities and double meanings.
They see in 1t an opportunity for the
exercise Of their skill at bubbles aud
in earninf; fees. They will make much
money out OF the new law.
The railroads will not accept Il cheer
fully, but acting under the advice of
counsel will dispute the accuracy OF
the Interpretation put on It by the om
GERS OF the government ana compel the
courts to define the exact meaning of
every clause. The period OF struggle to
secure the enactment OF the law will be
followed Ly period OF litigation over
what 1t msans.-Chieago Tribune.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19

two hundred feet wide, and the lateral
piers will be eight hundred feet apart
thus forming a basin eight hundred by
eighteen hundred feet in area. The
paragraph of the bill making provision
for the construction of these piers fur
ther provides that the water basin
shall be dredged throughout its entire
area to sufficient depth to accommo-
date boats drawing ten feet of water at
mean low tide.
Great Water Basin
This water basin will be unique
among exposition sights. If will be
brilliantly lighted at night, and at sea
terminus will have two tall towers, one
for the lighthouse service, and one for
wireless telegraphy. The connecting
pier will be arched sufficiently high to
permit all the small craft to enter the
basin. Shrubs will be planted all along
the piers. and booths will be erected
at intervals. The entire structure will
be extremely attractive, both by day
and by night, and will afford an ex-
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19
A BIRD BREEDING RESERVATION

During the last year the Audubon
society of Louisiana has rented some
seventeen bird-breeding islands, To-
Gated in the waters of the gulf, from
the Lake Borgne Levee board, and are
hopeful Of getting from the state an
other island. This latter secured, these
islands will comprise the largest bird
breeding reservation in the world. Last
year the islands were watched by two
wardens whose wages were paid by the
national committee of Audubon socie-
ties, and although they were not wholly
able to prevent trespassing and egg
stealing, nevertheless the results at
tanned were well nigh marvellous. On
their own and the neighboring islands
of Breton reservation, owned by the
federal government, by these simple
preventive measures there were
Matched and raised all of 40. 900 birds
composed of the following species:
Common terms. forsters terms, royal
terms, laughing gulls, black skimmers.
If 1t were possible absolutely to pre-
vent trespassing on the societys
Islands the results would be almost in
redible.-Country Life in America.
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19

and had his breakfast served in the
fork He ate like a horse and asked for
more.
There is the secret Of feeding-a little
novelty at the right time. And that
brings us to the story-whlch has been
long Of coming, perhaps but, like the
delayed steak, may be all the more ac-
ceptable when It is finally served.
Among the city's best restaurants are
undoubtedly those around Times square.
They are the places where people 20
to dine, not three times a day, but In
the spirit of novelty that comes with
an evenings outing. And in one of
those restaurants one may see to what
perfection the science of treating that
unruly inner man has come.
The tables are white as alabaster:
the silver and glasses simmer. but
each table is of such dead correct
ness that one longs to see the silver
disarranged and soiled and the cloth
a little rumpled aud the glasses stained
amber or a bright red There IL is.
A perfect table is pleasing to some who
are fastidious or irritating to those who
are not, but i'm either case the sugges-
tion is the same-serve something on 1t
quickly
The orchestra huns gently or dances
merrily and the conceit of the inner
man would have it that all these sweet
sounds are to coax him Cor IT'D into
submission. 1t is a fact, which is not
in the least odd that the stomach is
the most selfish and self-centered thing
in all mankind. 1t has no regard for
the desires or tastes of the fellow man;
it is out for Number One always.
But there are many things not in evil
dence to the diner in a Times square
"outng evening" restaurant, and those
are the things that make to the per-
feet treatment of the inner man. Since
the beginning of things-which was the |
Los Angeles herald., 1906-08-19
THE FOREST

Where once the woodland portal gaped
widespread.
To lure our steps to scenes all DESC
late.
Now green clad trees their branches
twine o'erhead.
To hide. with pail of shade, each
tempting gate.
Dare not our footsteps. o. ye sentries
grim.
Nor seek our weary Glances to de-
lude:
Long have we hungered for thy vistas
dim
Long have our hearts desired thy
solitude.
Sad and distraught are we from all our
weary way:
Frenzied of grief and heartsick of
mans strife.
So must we brave thine anger for
day
And in thy dim retreats behold the
JOY of life.
-Lurana w. Sheldon. in Metropolitan
Magazine 81