Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1906-01-03

enough and strong enough to tip ever
a box car, loaded with pig iron, but
if his heart is one of these little ones
intended for miser, with no pepper
sauce running from the heart to the
arteries and things, and liver that
is white, and nerves that are trembly.
and no gall to speak of, why big man
is liable to be walked all over by a
nervy little man who is spunky, and
gets mad and froths at the mouth
1 have been having great times with
the monkeys, and 1 guess the manager
will make me superintendent of mon
keys, ause>they all seem to be stuck
on me, and will do anything tell them
to. Pa says they think l am some new
kind of monkey, and they look up
to me- l lead out the big monkeys
that ride the goats and dogs, and have
them on the little animals, and when
they ride around the ring on the dogs
and goats and ponies, they keep look
ing at me as though they wanted my
approval.
There is one little monkey that
sleeps nearly all the time, and I
played trick on pa with it that like
to got me arrested and licked by a man
who was mad. A man and woman
with baby in little wagon were 60
ing through the menagerie, and it was
| crowded, and they left the baby and
wagon in pas charge, near the monkey
cage, while they went to see the hip
popotamus. Pa is the most accom-
modating man about holding babies
that ever was. The baby was asleep
when its folks left it in the wagon with
pa, but it woke up while they were
wagon and carried it around just as
he would at home, and showed it the
animals, and held it up on his shoul-
der, and took the little monkey and
put it in the baby wagon, and it went
to sleep, and l put veil over it, and
was standing by the wagon talking
with peanut butcher, when the par
ents of the baby came back, and the
woman raised up the veil to see if the
child was asleep. when the monkey
woke up and put its hairy hands up to
rub it's eyes. The monkeys looked
up at the woman with .beady eyes and
began to chatter, and she yelled and
her husband took look at the monk,
and he was mad. They could both see
it was a monkey instead of baby,
and they asked where the old man with
the chin whiskers was that they left
the baby with, and the peanut butcher
said: What, that old guy with the
| checkered vest? Why, he has gone
with the baby over to the lion cage,
you see him holding the baby upon
his shoulder" By ginger, l never saw
two people sprint the way they did,
cause l guess they thought pa was
sure crazy, and would give the baby
to the lions. But l told them the old
man was all right, and would bring
the baby back, and if he didn't they
could have the monkey, cause 1 didn't
want them to think they were going to
be losers while attending our show.
Then 1 chucked the monkey under the
chin and said: Maybe this is your
baby, cause they change wonderfully
when they get into a show"
Well, just had time to put the mon
key back in the cage when l saw that
couple surround pa, and the woman
grabbed the baby out Of his arms. and
the man tackled pa around the legs be-
low the knee, and threw pa down I'M
der the ostrich cage, and said: You
kidnaper! l am good mind to choke
the life out of you and he squeezed
pas windpipe until pas tongue run
out, when a canvasman came along
and hit the man in the ear, and he
laid down near zebra, and the zebra
kicked at the man and hit pa, cause
zebra is cross-eyed and kicks like
woman throws a stone, and no man
knows where it listeth.
| Pa got up to murder the man that
choked him, when tie ostrich reached
is head out between the bars of the
cage and picked pas big diamond stud
off his shirt, big as piece of rock
candy, and swallowed it, and pa said
| that's the limit, and he called the
manager and asked him how he was
| going to get his diamond stud out of
the ostrich. The manager told pa
to go to the dressing room and ask the
woman who has charge of the ward
robe for the ostrich stomach pump,
and when he got the stomach pump the
manager said the ostrich would cough
up the diamond stud. Pa went off
to the dressing room to get the
ostrich stomach pump, and l knew
there was going to be trouble, cause
l thought the manager was just string
ing pa.
Well. he went up to the woman in
the dressing room, and said he came
after her stomach pump, ostrich size,
and you'd a died to see the ruction.