The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1906-07-18

utHESHA lHluk tue bHlteu pmleA eFtT
heard OF. My. but that was n great
thought OF mine, and | can't help but
feel rather swclled up over it No
more blistupg; no more walking the
railroad trucks for Julius Smithers,
ESQ.,
The girls elevated their eyebrows In
surprise and pcrplexlty. They had new.
or heard any merger talk before, and
II was as Greek 10 them. They report.
cd 10 their respective mammas that
Mr.. smithera didn't get into college
tho day he called. that his ways were
rather familiar, thnt he evidently
hadn't attended over thousand high
teas and grand receptions and that II
would take a carload OF sandpaper TO
rub him down, but he had n good heart
as foundation 10 build on. II bis con,
ycrsation wasn't exactly up 10 the
notch the windup was intended TO
draw applause. He always finished by
saying:
Il shall now have TO ask you TO ex.
cuse mo- but | will see you again. In
fact. | want TO zee you again. ! think
! can figure II out before we arrive nj
Sandy Hook 10 offer you the best thing
OF the season, but keep that 10 your
self"
"Mamma, what did he mean by
thatf" asked the respective daughters
OF their respective mothers.
"why. child. how silly you are!' was
the reply. what could he mean but
one thlng"
"But we have known. him such IT.
tie while"
you haven't got TO know million.
airc over day or two. They are diff
ferent from other men. They have the
cash"
There were men aboard looking 70
get into d good thing on the ground
floor. They knew that the beef trust
was good thing. They threw out
hints TO Mr. smItbers, but he laughed
and shook bis head and replied:
mot yet, my boy. rye got tho dough
TO start II on and I want all the
plunks there are In II. See me next
season"
"will beef 10 upf'
Thunder. no! We expect 10 knock
the price down to Is cents pound"
"rhen how will you make your mil.
lions out OF itf"
Mr. smIthers didn't make any direct
answer. He simply winked hong,
quiyering wink with his left eye and
conveyed the impression that there
was coon up the tree. The merger
man enjoyed the sunshine OF fattery
and envy aud toady!sm for Ave or six
days.
Then Sandy Hook was sighted one
morning. and he announced to the
three schemlng mammas that he want.
cd to hold converse with their three
daughters, II was to be private con.
verse. There was agitation. There was
perturbation. There were consuita-
tIonR. Mr.. SmIthers selected corner
OF the music room, and 10 that spot the
victims were led In turn. The conyer-
sation was about the same In each In
stance.
MY dear girl" began Mr.. Smitters,
with patcrnai blandness, II told you I
had good thing ON hand and would
try TO arrange to make you an offer. /
am about TO do so. You have never had
any experience on the stage, but you
are a mighty good locker"
"Sirw demanded the maiden as she
retreated step.
"Oh, shan't ask you to dress unbe-
comingly. It's just plain. straight
play called The Beef Trust and show
ing how that corporation by raising the
prices parted two happy lovers and
brought grief and death TO other house
holds. Three corklng acts and cast OF
twelve people, We introduce drove
Of cattle. a slaughter house and a
butcher shop among other spectacular
effects. VIII move right along without
hitch. Papers are bound to give It
free columns Of advertising. can put
you In the cast at $50 per to begin on.
What do you sayY'
None of the three said anything-not
t0 Mr.. Smlthers. Ten minutes after
the last interview a murmur swept
over the great steamer. That was fol.
lowed by growl. After the growl
came cries of XIII him! Throw him
overboardr' There was a rush of feet
along tho decks, but Mr., Smithers was
pulled into the purser's room and saved
from total wreckage, and when the
steamer reached her dock the captain
lent him pair of false red whlskers to
disguise himself and escape the mob.