davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05
PATHOS IN A NAME.
Ie Philadelphia Record.

From the Philadelphia Record.
 A speaker at one of the sessions of the Philadelphia Methodist conference yester- day tells this story, which he says was related to him by Bishop Hartsell: ''The bishop while on a southern tuor met a darlSy who was the father of sixteen children, the youngest of whom was scarcely out of arms, and on asking him what the youngsters name was received this reply: Judas 'Scariot. sah. You don't mean to tell me that that is really his baptismal name, do you? asked the bishop. Indeed l do, sah; ain't dat q script'ral name?' Yes; but do you know who Judas Iscarlot wasT Course I does sah: but doan de scripture say it would have been better for Judas Seariot if he had never been borned? Yes; but what has that to do with this poor little chap? Oats jest it, sah. dat's jest it.; it would have been better for dis poor little chap if he had never been borned, and dat 5 why we calls him Judas Scariot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05
From the New York Mail.

From the New York Mail.
 N PRIL, like it's principal feast-for W April is accepted by the church
 as the date of the resurrection, regardless of Easter's uncertain habits is a movable month. The concrete per sonality among the months which we recognize as April, the Aphrodite of the twelve. does not often declare herself ex- actly within the thirty days assigned to her on the calendar. She is a sorceress, and, like all other sorceresses, is capri cious She may dawn upon us, full orbed in the middle of March. only to fit into the bosom of the unknown week later Or she may resolutely refuse 10 declare herself until May is pretty nearly due. But some time or other she comes and capricious though she be, conducts her self annually early or late, in very much the same old way. Her melange of smiles interspersed with tears, and ardent pas sion relapsing into forbidding chill, is as sure to be brought to us in America as it was to Greece or Italy in the month that the ancients named after flighty Venus
 We have called April a sorceress. but she is a good sorceress, not malignant one. There is nothing of the dark Medea in her, and she is like crce only in the playful way that she has of transforming human into glad and prankish animals of changing children into gamboling lambs on the new-grown turf. among the dandelions and early buttercups, and  of inspiring sober grown-ups, by the magic of her vernal juices, into initiating as they walk abroad the awkward capers of cows freshly turned out to pasture. or bears newly awakened from their hiber- nation. If she beguiles us by warm sun
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05
pETTUs TO THE RESCUE.

From the New York World.
 Senator Clay of Georgia was telling Sen ator Pettus of Alabama about an unfair. browbeating and insolent federal judge in the south.
 "He is-he is-he is'-said Senator Clay, hestating for a word.
 q understand you perfectly, senator, Senator Pettus said. You are Baptist and your religion does not furnish the words necessary properly to describe such a man.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New Iork Press.
 An almost sure way to make girl kiss you is to get her to say she won't.
 A man would hardly ever have to know as much to be great as he thinks he knows without being it.
 useful thing about grandchildren is that you can tell their grandmother is past twenty-one, despite her age.
 It's just human nature for every man who gets elected village constable to think he is headed straight for the White House.
 When a man says he has got to dine with the president of his company it is a sign he is taking the presidents type writer girl to the theatre.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

the pupils of the High school and it was assured by the officers of the school that this cooperation could be secured m deed, It was hinted that the pupils of the school already have intentions looking to= ward the placing of one or more articles of aesthetic value.
 "rhe monthly meetings of the associa- ton promise great things for the schools of the city. There Is evidence on every side of a disposition on the part Of the membership to graciously cooperate with the authorities. the teachers ard the pu- pills fn all good ends of school work This means much to the youth of our city.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05
The We'll Moved.

'I had one of the richest experiences of my life at Gadsden a short time ago" said Burrell Pope of Atlanta yesterday.
 "A crowd of the mileage book brigade collected there on Saturday night and having nothing else to do, decided to at tend dance out in the country, to which some one or more of them had been in- vited.
 Ut was typical country frolic' and the music was furnished by still more typical negro fiddler if that way of put ting 1t adds anything to the idea. The orchestra brought along with him bot tie of corn whisky, which he deposited within convenient distance out in the yard. In order to locate it in the dark he placed a white cracker box by the side of an old well that was covered over with fence rails and stood the bottle up against the box. Everytme the caller would shout seat your partners the mu- sic-maker would run out and refresh him self
 Some of the boys caught on and went out and uncovered the well, which was filled with water nearly to the surface and placed the box and the bottle on the far side of 1t. At the end of the next set out rushed the negro towards the well, covering about four times the mili- tary regulation distance.
 Our crowd followed with life preserver in the form of rope.
 "ln due time, as expected the fiddler jumped into the mouth of the well. shot down into the cold water like a dead sinker and rose to the surface like a cork. As he came up the second time. blubbering and spluttering and spouting water through his teeth like dragon fountain, he caught the rope we had low cred to him and as we pulled him ashore he stammered
 'Good-good-good Lordyl who in the name of de Lord wus dat who done tool, and moved dis well?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

return to the sweet simplicity of the Mongol fathers.
 Chinese football certainly lived beyond Laocius and Confucius. That the game was founded on the principles of Laocius there can he no doubt for it is emphatic ally set forth in the Taoist classic that "a person who should take delight in hu- man butchery could never make himself acceptable to the empire at large.' Thus we see how we may learn-in some par ticular at least-the value of diversion based on the innocent recreations of an older and more settled civilization.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05
CHANGEABLE APRIL THE
 SORCERESS OF MONTHS

shine into going forth umbrellaless, and then trenches us with shower that springs up from nowhere. we find that the wetting does us no harm. All tEat we need to do is to take the dowapoui in the spirit in which it is glven-as something that is good and necessary for us. intended for the efhorescenee of our hearts,
 In the United States April sees the lilacs in bloom at Washington, and the mountain forests still bound with snow In Maine and Vermont. But on our mid dle-lying island or it's environs it is the month of the full blooming of the hepat- ica, the dicentra, the marsh margold, the dandelion and the trailing arbutus, and of the soft and woong call of sthe swallow. The phoebe builds her nest: the naples hang red or yellow with bloom, and the willows burst into leaf, while all the fields and pastures are carpeted with green. If we have good luck the pear trees and cherry trees will be white before the month is out. It is a month of glad realization-yet, singularly for us a month of most solemn memories. Con- cord Bridge and Lexington. the fateful call to civil war in '6l, the soldiers shot in Baltimore, Sumter fired on at Charles ton, the crownng tragedy of Lincoln's death, and, at later date, the summon to war with Spain-these are some of the grave events of which April brings us the reminder. But neither they nor any thing else can be for us anything more depressing than one of April's own pass- ing clouds falling athwart her hazy, laughing blue. Nature made the month kindly. and mans tragical affairs can scarcely qualify her benignity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Everything Theodore says goes in the White House
 If there is anything that hasn't been taken away from Elijah Dowie he should lock it up at once and hide the key. Audaelous thieves stole the feathers off ostriches at the Hot sprihgs ostrich farm. Now what do you think of that? The platform adopted by the Kansas republicans contains only seven words, but is broad enough to stand on The plan is this, Resolved, That we will net well enough alone"
 WHAT THEY BRAG ABOUT.
 You'll notice that
 The gray-haired chaps
 Delight to tell
 Of those mishaps
 They got into
 By being bad:
 And all \the wicK-
 Ed fun they had.
 But leave a fel-
 Low to infer
 How well behaved
 And good they were. The farewells to March being all in, we will now turn our attention to the sun shine and showers of April While volva was born in Indiana there is no evidence to show that he ever wrote a book.
 THE LITTLE PLEAS CONTENT. A little flee lived on a dog As happy as could be, Because his canine friend was not A yellow dog," you see. A man is travelling around the coun- try named Cornelius Anthenolondersch- neiderberger. He ought to be charged for excess baggage. Dr. Ludwig Fulder, the German author says a good poem is almost an accident A bad poem is a misdemeanor.
 'TWOULD BE A JOB. If the rules of health cranks were fol- lowed out And we lived each day by the card We would have little time to do much else
 Cause we'd all have to work so hard. Champion Jeffries says he is perfectly willing 10 fight again. MT. o 3rien will please write.
 CINCH The dramatic editor has lots of friends Who treat him in a royal way. Press agents of the shows to come Insist on writing every day. There is no official day for taking of winter underwear. If there was 1t would save a world of trouble.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05
ALABAMA PRESS

Huntsville Mercury: And Arkansas is to be represented in the United States Senate by Jefferson Davis. but he will resemble the great Mississippi statesman, patriot and beloved chief executive of the late Confederate states only in name.
 Mobile Register: The Hague has no cause to crow over Algeciras.
 Montgomery Journal: Democracy is all right in the south. for it has saved this section from negro domination and re- construction infamy. If we can get the right issue in the congressional elections this fall and in the presidential election in 1880 it will demonstrate it's usefulness and save the country from the repub- lican party and from trust domination. Tariff reform is the winning issue
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05
School Improvement.

Tt was expected that the school inn provement work when it was first taken up in Birmingham would be of value to the schools, but the amount of actual good accomplished and the work done so far has even exceeded onr greatest ex- pectations," said a member of the School Improvement association yesterday We have undertaken big things and succeed ed in them and the association will be permanent organization.
 ''We have asked for the cooperation of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
 MATTERS OF THE TIMES

T HERE are more men Of national NCD and International reputation in Alabama today than have ever before assembled at one time within the confines Of the state. They are all at Tuskegee attending the twenty-hfth an niversary celebration of the founding of the Tnskegee institute. The brilliant roll includes the names of Charles W Eliot president of Harvard; Robert C. ogden, Secretary Taft, Lyman Abbott. Andrew Carnegie, William Lloyd Garrison, George Foster Peabody, Hamilton NJ Twombley, Dr. Jacob Hollander. of Johns Hopkins, and many others. No other school in the south-perhaps. no other school in the entire United States-could attract so many distinguished visitors to a celebra- ton in which they take but an imper- sonal interest. It is q notable gathering and all are at Tuskegee to boost Booker T. Washington.
 IT PAYS TO ADVERTISE. He told the people what he had They came and found 1t true. They bought. He's living In Paree, With nothing else to do. There is nearly always a commission attached to the scheme of a man who says he wants to make his fellows rich. Easter eggs are now being laid.
 GET A STAKE FIRST.
 Start a racket,
 Raise a dust.
 Keep on humping,
 If you bust,
 Till you land a
 Bag of dough
 Then twon't matter
 How you go. western contemporary infers that Col shackelford author of the "old Sleuth" series, was a New England man. The proud distinction of claiming him be- longs to Gawgia.
 THE FISHERMAN.
 quart of whisky
 Twont last long
 A pipe for smoking,
 Old and strong;
 A line, a pole,
 Can of bait.
 A cunning hook and
 Easy gait;
 A disposition
 That's serene,
 The laziest you've
 Ever seen;
 A Hopping hat ana
 Clothes to match,
 A lie to tell =
 Bout his catch;
 A sleepy, slouehy
 River fan
 Oh. that's the happy
 Fisherman. Slippers the White House cat is now looking after healthy litter of kittens.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Apostle Dowie is coming home to rally the faithful, but the charges that stand against him personally will oc- cupy the most of his time. He will not be able to conciliate Jane Dowie, if all accounts are to be trusted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Sarah Bernhardt's circus is not three-ring affair. It would not be prac- ticable to have Camille die in three rings of one show, for the people would not stay to see it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05
A Great Elephant.

Although not betting man, Martin J. Downs, proprietor. of Cole Brothers shows. stands ready and willing to wager that there is not horse in this vicinity that can defeat his elephant, Queen at any distance from five to ten miles said a press agent
 "The local snowman states that when walking along the street in It's numbering way the pachyderm in question may not look like flyer, but when it comes to covering a considerable distance no long course equine can keep Queen in sight. MT. Downs also voices the opinion that the elephant is the most powerful beast in all Alabama and that it can move greater load of deadweight than any four horses here or elsewhere
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

The Sultan at Fez will have 125 sec tions of new rules to live up to, and that number will try him sorely. Brother Raisuli, too, must be con suited.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Boston, April 4.-Miss Ethel Barrymore, the actress, became suddenly i'll in this city today. and her physicians diagnosed her case as one of appendicitis. She will be operated on tomorrow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Philadelphia fayors subways because they are noiseless and sleepers will not be disturbed by them at any hour of the day or night.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Mrs. Storer failed to note the fact that MT. Roosevelt, the President, and MT. Roosevelt. the governor, are en. tirely different men.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Chappies stormed a stage door i'll Cleveland to get at the chorus of a comedy company. There was a riot, but it was a great advertise ment
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

When Wilhelm pitches and Vaughan catches. the other side is well started towards the second division.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

No matter how many immigrants arrive in a day, they are soon swal- lowed up in the nav of forty-five states and four waiting territories.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

The town marshal of Portland, Me, has decided that citizens may pick out any day in the week for their Sabbath.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Burglars found Wilson Mizner and his large stock of jewelry even when the outside world had almost forgotten him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

The robin has passed and also the scent of the moth ball. but the pussy willow is with us still.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Senator Jefferson Davis will decline to accept lessons on manners for the White House. As mere governor he had to take one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Russia has had enough war, and she is trying to reconvene The Hague con ference.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Bathhouse John may have pulled through. but If he did the press telc- grams do not mention the fact
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

White House conferences will here after be conducted with more secrecy and less gossiping.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Uncle Joe Cannon says he is no autocrat, and that he never owned an auto and has no intention of buying one
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

The Wheeler statue will be erected in the city that buys the most dollar certificates. Let the rivalry begin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05
About Persons.

Victor R. White. a prominent young business man of Hamilton, Ala, and one of the registrars of Marion county. will return home today, after spending several days with friends in Birmingham.
 William A. Herin is registered at the St. Nicholas
 J. N. Hill of Montgomery is at the Hillman.
 pr. Frances NJ Petersen, president of the Alabama Girls Industrial school, is registered at the Morris.
 J. R. Cooper of Gadsden is at the Bir- mingham.
 Lee Myer of Tuscaloosa is stopping at the Morris.
 Mir and Mrs. R. P. Dexter of Mont gomery are stopping at the Hilman.
 F. Q. Wright of Roanoke is registered at the Birmingham.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Dowie has been dethroned, but Prophet yoliva may prove to be as ob- streperous as Dowie, but he cannot well be so foul-mouthed or coarse.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Dowie hurls defiance, but his enc mics hold Zion City,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Geronimo has joined show. Alas the decadent red mani
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Alabama groans beneath the weight of Secretary Taft today.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Dowie is coming home bringing his polygamous theories with him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Hartselle is trying to share Mont gomerys population theory.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Zion is agitated over the quarrels and dissensions of many leaders.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Algeciras delegates are preparing to do the John Hancock act, and go home.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Two more shows at the Jefferson and the season at that playhouse is ended.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

The pennant race begins next week, ye fans.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

"SEiddoo" pudding is made with twenty-three eggs. Use flour and beat IL
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05
EtheI earrymore Has AppendIcltIs.

Tuskegee is in the limelight thi: week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Slippers. the White House cat. is now looking after a healthy litter of kittens
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

IT PAYS TO ADVERTISE. He told the people what he had They came and found 1t true. They bought. He's living in Paree, With nothing else to do.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Daily and Sunday Age-Herald. ........ .Ss. DO Daily and Sunday, per month.......... ID Sunday Age-Herald, per annum..... 200 Weekly Age-Herald. per annum....... l.0
 Subscription payable in advance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

If there Is anything that hasn't been taken away from Elijah Dowie he should lock 1t up at once and hide the key.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

L. IT. Russ, c. c. Witt and J F. Keeley are the only authorized travelling repre- sentatives of The Age-Herald in Its cir culation department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

No communication will be published without it's authors name. Rejected man uscripts will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Washington Bureau Age-Herald 1421 G street. N. w.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, post Df1ce as second-class matter under act of Congress March 8, 1873
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Audaelous thieves stole the feathers off ostriches at the Hot sprihgs ostrich farm. Now what do you think of that?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

There is nearly always a commission attached to the scheme of a man who says he wants to make his fellows rich.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Everything Theodore says goes in the White House
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

While voliva was born in Indiana, there is no evidence to show that he ever wrote a book
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

Remittances can be made at current rate of exchange The Age Herald will not be responsible for money sent through the mails Address
 THE AGE-HERALD,
 Birmingham. Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-04-05

The farewells to March being all in, we will now turn our attention to the sun shine and showers of April.
Arizona republican., 1906-02-09
THE ELKIAN BRETHREN
 HAD A NIGHT OF IT
Songs, Speeches and Scientific Inves-
 tigatiOns

Phoenix Lodge No. 2. B. ?. O. p. last
 night indulged in another one of those delightful stag occasions known as a
 social session, when everything is giv- en over to merriment, and both mem
 bers and guests are biddeu to forget that there is any such thing as dull care m the world. In order thas the brethrcl might have everything en- tirely their way; that there might be no brightness anywhere to compare with the brilliancy of the lodge room, even the moon withdrew behind cur tain of black until after the season of enjoyment had been concluded. It would appear therefore that the Elks are nos only the Best People on Earth" but that their supremacy is acknowledged even in the heavens.
 The evening was devoted to music, story telling and general sociability, ending with d brief exhibition of phy- sical culture. Among the entertain CTS was P. G. Re9nick, a cousin of J. $. Griffin who is visiting in the city. He comes from q Swedish settlement in one of the northern states and his long residence there has given him mastery of q better Swedish dialect than If he liveI in Sweden, for it is just sufficiently Americanized to be funny. He to!1 numerous stories, all of which ere loudly anIIauded.
 Frank Connolly gave a song or two in Irish with which language he has come to be quite familiar since emigrating from Russia a few years ago. Harry Taffe also did an Irish turn and Selim Nicholson told a French story w. F. Jacquith. I. T. Hosey. Judge Burnett and a half a dozen others. also con- tributed to the story telling while Paul Renau Ingles. MT. RCsenstein and sev- eral others furnished musical selec- tiOns. A feature of the evening was a sandwich banquet with it's accompany ing delicatessen and temperate lubrica- tion, followed by cigars which put men of all nations at peace with each other, except during campaign time.