The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1906-07-19

stenographers. If you find love bud
ding in your young heart come to me
and get a good spanking"
1 started in N-th heroic resolves, but
l was 4 failure after the first week. \
black eyed typist with much gold in
her front teeth smiled at me rs she
went up. She laughed ut me as she
came down. She chuckcd me under the
chin on her third trip. and on her fourth
she whispered:
'Sammis, it is case of love at first
sight. I can't live without you"
Three days later | got the bounce.
The trust magnates were complaining
that NY elevator WdbJiel and that |
showed a desire to run them all down
into the basement or. up against the
roof. l waited in the vestibule for the
black eyed girl, but when she appear
ed and spoke to her she replied:
Don't ask me. BJbhie | have only
been here a week.
Six different times have l loved, and
six different times have l received the
bounce. have now ceased to love. No
matter how good looking the girl who
takes my elevator and no matter how
sweet her smile or how delicious her
giggle, l keep my stern dignity and
permit of no familiarity. There are
occasions when l am chucked under
the chin and | hear the whispered eX-
clamation of how sweet | am. but the
elevator never wabbles by a hairs
breadth.
But is it the same with other elevator
boys? | ask. Alas, no. Wherever l %
| find them growing careless Of their
duties because the sentiment of love
has touched their hearts. \ month ago
a young man running an elevator in
/ prominent skyscraper contidel to me
that he was in love with StenOgra-
pher in the building. She was twenty
four and he sixteen, but he did not care
for the difference i'll their ages. In
deed, he thought it better to have an
aunt and Il mother and Il sweetheart
all in one. She had patted him on the
back; she had pulled his ear; she had
praised his complexion. In her inSidi-
Gus way she was Turing that boy on to
his doom. | struggled with him, but it
was no use. His infatuation was COM
plete. Three days later while thinking
of his darling he bumped his elevator
against the roof and hurt three passen-
: gers and got the bounce. When he
went to the woman of his heart for
sympathy and to ask her to wait until
he could strike another engagement
she pretended that she had never seen
or heard of him before and that he
must have become intoxicated on soda
water.
Today | could name twenty elevator
boys who are in love. That means
twenty accidents sooner or later. It
also means twenty bounces. There
should be posted up in every elevator
in the city Il notice reading:
"Any girl speaking to the elevator
boy on any matter outside Of business
will be compelled to walk up an(
down stairs thereafter
If YOU are about to take public ele
vator look first at the boy who runs it
If he is pale faced and anxious look
ing and seems to have something o.
his mind turn your back on that Gag,
and take the stairs. That boy is il
love and is worrying as to how he Ca
support a wife on Sc week
If. on the contrary. he is chewiA.
gum and whistling to himself ste,
right in and be hoistad
That boy has nothing greater on hi.
mind than a bet on the races.
l have loved and shall love again
but l have found that'I owe a duty t
the public. That duty is to love II
more until l get through elevating al
elevator. The profession is Il noble on
and growing nohlcr every day, and TIL
true elevator boy is being recognized
as the Woodworking hero he is, ant
even if it becomes necessary to appea
to the law and 4 legislative investigat
ing committee he should be protected
against the Vaccinations Of the Othe
SEX vt least that.is the opinion of
SANIMIS.
The Elevator Boy.