The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1906-03-08
C0MMERCIAL-APPEAL NOTES.

81 am glad to meet you, Mr.. Hoch, F"
said Col. Satan. GIVE heard 80 much
of you that I feel as if | knew you.
Have seat in the melted lead
tureen."
DIR. Wiley of Washington has demon
strated that fourteen-year old whisky
can be made in an hour. Editor
Reaves Of the Hardeman Free Press
leaves for Washington at once.
The Commercial Appeal allegates that
we ware seen sober on the streets Of
Memphis last Wednesday. We air
going to sue that paper fer 100000
damages to our character. -Hardemar
Free Press.
Tennessee wants a sober man tel
guvnor, and we air therefore candi
date. The law has made us sober wher
at home fer about four years, and w
air entitled to recognition. -Hardemar
Free Press.
Squire Andy Gump is raising caiI
because he lost mule last week, an(
he has named us as a correspondent il
his mule case. It's true we have go
new mule, but we paid coloreC
gent five fer it. Squire Gump Ger
tainly looks the part. -Hardeman Ere
Press.
Just to show that there ware no il
feeling on our part because we didn'
git no invite to the Wedding, we sen
Miss Alice Roosevelt q years subscrip
tion to the Free Press; but she ha
gone on her wedding tower withou
acknowledging reseat of the same
But what else could you expeck frum
deadhead? -Hardema Free Press.
Some folks air complaining becaus
we amt funny. The idea! Who sal
we ware funny? We air always as so
emn as goat, as serious as the ma
who lends us money, and just now "
air as sore as Lazarus over our failur
to git promise from Cox or Patterso
to make us coal oil inspector. Cues
we will have to come out fer Jedg
Bond. -Hardeman Free Press.
There ought to be some sort {
reform down to Memphis, and either
ought to be compelled to take barbe
wire off of their fences. We was kin
: of tired the other night after sessio
( of the order, and while we was waitin
s fer car, we set down on fenc
0 Next morning when we got up "
= found that the seat of our pants wei
q hone. Sich things hadn't orter be-
6 Hardeman Free Press.
= Some fisillanimous skates are oppo
Z ing the appointment of Ben Daniels
8 be marshal of Arizony because he ont
=, stole mule. There amt no sense
. that. The man what wouldn't steal
- mule in Arizony amt got no busine
8 holding this important position. B
sides a man who can subdue the hir
= legs of critter like that and carry
i off is the right man in the rigl
s place. We endorse the nomination
! Ben. Hardeman Free Press.
8 AS President of the Anti-Liqu,
. Chapter of the Booze6ehters' UniC
a we took great pleasure in interiuicir
4 John I. Cox to the people of Hard
8 man county. We seen Cox afore Il
o meeting and we air satisfied that if ]
q is elected he will make MS coal {
5 inspector, and that's the kind of gu
6 nor we need in this neck of the wood
, We air now out fer Cox and Refor
n agin, until something equally as goo
2 turns up.-Hardeman Free Press.
q We air done with Ham PattersC
d and John Cox, and air now out f
! ledge Bond. Both of EN- come to th
. county, and neither of EN- would con
9 acrost with any promise of pie fer u
i Ham Patterson went and carried Il
2 county over our protest, and OF cour
. we can't git nothing frum him; al
: since we lost the county Cox wont u
Z us even for a door mat. We sure
= have been demolished by the bitt
Y pill of misfortune. -Hardeman FIR
Press.