The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-03-04
With the Long Bow
Eye nstsrs's walks, shoot oily ~ It flies. .

Trust Father to Come to the Front Good and Strong
at the Proper Moment-story of an Elopement at
Freeport, Ill. that Has in It All the Elements Of
Joy and Gladness.
One of those happy, glad old times that we all like
to read about occurred at Freepor ILL., Were it not
for active young friend Cupid him with the little
bow-arrey, what would be the usef
Well, anyway the story starts out nice and pretty,
with the two sturdy of Mrs. Margaret Fischer,
widow, marrying the two daughters Of Fred c. Kaiser,
wealthy retired farmer, and taking their cunning
little wives to the residence of the widow to make their
homes
Along in the afternoon Farmer Kaiser became lone
some without the girls, SO he htched up spanking
pair of bays to red-wheeled buggy and drove over
to Widow Fischer place to how his daughters were
getting along.
ttThey certainly look good to father he said, as
he stroked his beard and winked at the widow.
The widow, who was handsome and well preserved,
sighed heavily fingered her apron and looked down
Then the young people went out to raid the kitchen
cupboard, tee-heed, holered and were having good
time generally nothing in particular just as they
do when their attention attracted to sight out
of the window.
Michael o 'Houihan!u
Farmer Kaiser and widow Fischer driving
down the road, both blushng but sitting very erect
and defiant. What could it meant
An hour later they returned from the parsonage,
where they had been married, and the family circle
was again complete, with everybody just ticked to
death that they all together again. and everybody
0, so happy. --.. t.-
Say, what's the matter with this weary and sim
sick old world, anyhowf Well, we guess nothing!
Perhaps you noticed that yarn in the papers last
week about an automobile that was run by oyster
power the power being secured by the bivalves open
ing and closing their shells in unison story like
that is enough to make anybody mad
But it is paraeled, if not exeelled, by the remark
able problem in dynamics solved by grocer at Yer
million, S. D., where Will Chamberlain, the poet, lives
tho he has nothing to do with the Cease ..:
The incident in question was this The vermlllon
grocer had imported several foreign cheeses from
Chicago travelling who didn't care what ne sold
They were very voeferous, and the grocer conceived
the idea that they might run his machine. One bit
Of the fragrance that the opening of the package let
loose in the convinced the grocer that his old
machine was Of about two foreign c. F. (eheese po"er
So he placed the cheeses in the vicinity of the
DYNAMO or whatever it is that occupies the power
house of the machine, pulled her Wide open and was
, soon s'ski1nming' the roads like the wind
The odor the machine gave out, however caused
several Holstein cows attempt to climb the side of
the barn and knocked down number OF honest
grangers who for several hours afterwards hunted
around their farms with shovels in the laudabie en-
deavor to find and bury dead elephant
The cheeses however, in their efforts to pull the
machine wore themselves right down to the r1nd, and
as foreign cheese is much more expensive than gaso
lene nothing was gained by substituting them for
the oil.
eSI@$ - ~
~ A story from the Straits Settlements tells how a
surveyor frightened off tiger When near jungle
at night his rckshaw coolie suddenly Rolted The
surveyor, peering into the darkness, saw what he
thought was large dog, and he stepped out to speak
to it. When within six seven yards he perceived
that the INSTRUCTOR of the path was large tiger
Z" He had no weapon except large district survey
map rolled up A thought struck him that he might
manage to brighten the tiger. Suddenly ne unroled
the map with quick flip spreading it to its full area
of four or five feet square With single bound the
tiger cleared off into the jungle.
The beast doubtless figured that the surveyor was
about to offer him bargain of those nice low
living lots in Jungle addition easy terms $25 down
with mortgage on the balance at six per cent till
death-and he very sensibly bolted a. K.
A MATCH