Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1906-12-06

quaint and interesting old bachelor
He was very popular in a wide circle
of acquaintance, for added to his
amiable personal qualities, he had
plenty of money and was gloriously
hospitable. At the same time he pos.
sessed parsimonious peculiarities that
made him the subject of innumerable
good stories, adding considerably TO
the amusement OF all who knew him.
Still he was, indeed. the last man in
the world we would have expected to
be bowled out in an act not quite
consistent with severest rectitude So
when Dickson came hurriedly into our
hotel at Boulogne and told us that
Tommy was proposing to do little
smuggling we were all disposed to
be incredulous.
We had picked up Traddles on our
way home from an autumn holiday in
Normandy. 1t was the morning Of
the day on which we had arrived to
take the boat across from Boulogne
that Dickson told us how he had
CHANGED to spy the solemn, immacu,
late Tommy in the very act of making
up brown-paper parcel of dried bot
nnical specimens, in the middle of
which he was .cunningly concealing
some bundles Of Petits Bouquets. evil
| IDENTIFY in the hope of smuggling them.
We felt we had got Tommy on
toast this time, and we owed him a
long score for practical witticisms
vN1n ~
him in his own coin, although we
couldn't agree as to the best method
Of doing it. What we wanted was to
expose Tommy's little enterprise with
cut doing him any real harm, and
that was just what we couldn't quite
see our way to do.
livingstone took no part in the dis
cussion until we seemed to have
reached the end of our inventive re-
sources; then he quietly announced
that he had capital plan, and II we
! would follow his directions, Tommy
should have a startling show-up. With
the promptitude of master mind in
command of dolts livingstone first
| held whispering aside with the SIM
| ple-hearted Dickson, and then sent
him away on some errand, and with
many an irrepressible chuckle, he
proceeded to initiate the others into
! the parts each would play in his
plot.
! According to instructions, we began
by displaying an inquisitive interest
| in Traddles' parcel as soon as we got
on board the boat. We offered to lend
him small portmanteau to which he
/ might transfer his botanical spect-
mems. 1t would be more convenient
and would look better.
AS our voyage progressed, we
agreed that Traddles was not happy.
Apparently, the parcel weighed on
his mind, and quite unscrupulousiy we
took every means of increasing his
uneasiness. We enlarged on the
folly of smuggling, and told tales OF
| ignominious exposure and heavy
| fines.
Finest" echoed one of our party
"They don't fine nowadays. Since
| the last act the penalty for Snug.
Cling is Imprisonment, without the
| option of a fine"
Poor Tommy's face was study.
His jaw dropped dismally, and he
looked altogether moody and miser.
able.
i AS we drew near the end Of the
voyage Traddles looked as If he
would give worlds for the opportunity
to drop the wretched parcel over.
| board, If only he could get out of
| our sight for a moment. We took
good care, however, that there should
be no backing out of the enterprise,
and as Tommy marched down the
gangway, he looked, or we fancied he
did, little white about the mouth,
but he held his virtuous head so up.
right, and handled the parcel with
such an air of innocent concern. that
he might have passed through but for
| the astounding action of Dickson,
who hurried forward and tipped a
wink to the man in buttons as he
/ passed.
Anything to declare?" was the
! phlegmatic official inquiry, as Tommy
passed.
Nothing dutiable." declared the
audacious Tommy, with an air OF
dignity that should have carried con.
/ viction. "Only botanical specimens
| and-and--one or two other things.
Not dutiable, assure you"
Tommy tried very hard to maintain
an aspect of outraged dignity as the
officer resolutely began to unite the
parcel, but he couldn't help betray.
ing the greatest agitation. He stood
the very picture Of detected Grim.
| inal. He protested, then he clustered
and coaxed.
1t was, of course, useless, and the
official was deaf to entreaty. With
heartless elaboration he first opened
an outside paper, then an inner pa.
per, and then began to rummage
among the botanical specimens, in
the center of which he found-a small,
crusty loaf of bread!
1t was, OF course, the very famil.
lar joke that Dickson had perpetrated
under Kingstone's direction. He had
contrived to take out the cigars and
slip in the loaf, and then had set the
customs official on the intending
smuggler.
"Sir, told you there was nothing
to declare." said Tommy, sternly, as
the man deftly retied the parcel and
pushed 1t from him
We presently discovered him locked