The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1906-09-16
WISE GUY GIVES
AWAY SOME SECRETS
Gives Some Inside History of
Salt Lake County Attorneys
Office.
RIOT ACT is READ
TO ASSISTANT HANSON
Job Lyon Expected to Declare
Himself So as to Make 1t
Unanimous.

shekei, - said the Wise Guy, rand IN
hand you the latest from the County
Attorneys office, which the same is
Just at present seethin cauldron of
interneGine strife. They, mint day
the front door, pull down the blinds and
go at each other hammer and tongs.
And, from where / set, it looks as
though they both have holler a-com-
in. On Wednesday the strife was at
its hottest l didn't hear the start Of
it, but when my attention was at
tracted by the hollerin and rompin
around the office I heard Farley say to
his man Friday: Amt you got gall,
now, to ask me (the man that has made
you what you are), to step down and
out of this fight so as TO give you all
the support that is comm to this Officer
OF course, it looks like a sty full of
hogs for the whole Office to be askin'
for public support, but that ain t no
reaso why |, Farley P. Christensen,
the head and front of this shootin'
match, should hustle out Of the way Of
q mere subordinate.
Who are You, anyway Where'd
you come from and what did you ever
amount to till | picked you up and
made you my assistant2 But for me
you would a-been snoopin around the
Police court lookin for q chanst to
defend Arabella Brown or Bad-eye
Jackson. | denounce you as q ingrate.
You re not only a-sprainin' both ankles
to grab my Job, but you re tryin' to
bump me off the road to a place of new
emolument. 1t don't go with your
uncle Dudley. If you want one Of this
Office full of candidates to get out Of
the way, why-get out yourself,
Willard Strikes Back.
"Then Willard comes back at him in
words an fggers as follers, to wit:
[ ain t a.denyin',' says he, tthat you
made it possible for me to exhibit my
genious to the public But don't you
ever set claim to amakin' ME a big
man in this community. | was great
before you ever dreamed o. bein'
| was bornd great, and its only acci-
dent that you crossed my path. I'm
askin that you get out of this ridicul-
GUS thing you insist on thinkin' is a
race for Office, and give me a chanst
to go ahead and win. You know as
we'll as l do that you ain It got show
on earth and that the whole town Is
in a body. Only Yesterday q banker
asked me, with illconcealed sarcasm,
when Job Lyon was a-goin to declare
himself candidate for some soft po-
litical snap, so as TO make the scramble
from this Office unanimous.
% What makes me particularly sore
is that your damfoolishness reflects on
me. On account of our rela tionship,
I'm supposed to look seriously upon
this side-splittin' joke which you call
your campaign. What you need is a
good stiff dose of Get-On-To Yourself
bitters.'
$50 sayin', Willard stalked out o.
the Office, and meetin me at the hall
door keyhole, says: Come on away
from that, Wisey, I've got a job for
yD9 spread e e in nnf oB gff % sg Rg sa sst
tion hall. That ground and lofty tum-
bier will need something to light on be-
fore Reed and his gang get done with
him. Between now and the day Of his
execution you d better tie a string to
him and keep him in hand, otherwise
the Insanity Commissioners are liable
to cop him out
Horrible Wallopin' In Sight.
"Did it ever strike you,' concluded
the Wise Guy, "what a horrible WALTON
in there is ahead for all the church
candidates for Congress, with the possi-
BILE exception Of onel Its like Joseph
Jest sets 'em up an then boles 'em
over. And, blow me, if the suckers
don t seem to like it. You'd suppose
that in the course o. time they d get on
that the ole man is jest a-iugglin' 'em
fer his own benefit an behoof, but they
keep eatin' 1T up year in an year out,
and you can &c an gamble he II keep
a-feedin 1t to 'em as long as they seem
to like it. Slip me short bit, will you,
an Ill-cheese it, here comes ole
Sheets an Raleigh" "