New-York tribune., 1906-04-29
THE TAIN OF THE DAY.

Only the most provincial minded OF New Workers
imagine that the comforts of home ard the
delights of urban life 10 be had only in this
city, and perhaps one two others where the
population is numbered in seven figures, Humanity
is rising everywhere along with rents Elevators
and elevated mankind go together along the up-
ward routes of civilization. Wilmington n q
is small place in a not overcrowded region.
Every man there might. If he chose have a roof
tree of his own. with its roots In the soil But
humanity aspires. wilmngtonians who wish to
live as II in a crowded metropolis are 10 have a
change An elevator apartment house is going up
there. Wilmington points to it with pride.
Shocking Precocity.-"What is the result" asked
the teacher Of the primary class in arthmetic
"A kth lsped the curly beaded little girl in the
front row.-Chicaso Tribune.
An Atchison man. THE Globe" says. was showing
a fine horse that attracted the attention of a man
who was looking for family horse can
drive him. inquired the would-be pur-
chaser.
Yes. woman might drive him." replied tie
owner but would hate to live with the woman
that could drive him."
Teacher-Johnny, don't believe you've studied
Johnny-No. num- heard pa say the map Of the
w9t eW years I'm thnss ea{ s m th1nght Ia
Wisconsin.
An up-to-dste dog is one that answers the tele-
phone. The senior partner OF an influential Icr don
firm has taught his dog not only To guard the cface
during his absence. but also to report ANS Well
during the time the premises are closed ut week
ends. One OF the old fashioned telephones which
does not require that the receiver should be- taken
off it's holder is fixed up I'm the office. and under
this the dog stands His master rings up the Office
and then calls until the attention of the log il
aroused when the canine caretaker barks loudly
10 show that all Is we'll with him and with he Office
1t is related Of Buffalo small boy, who came
acIrf school where ha baA haeu Jaar
~ moved by the story Of the making OF wife for
Adam SH' & OF one 1t MS nDs Ds thss ne had
boy very s1beTlE feeling % Of his ribs to see that
going to have wife."-BuTao Commercial
Southern Judge tells Of the disqualification of
a ilryman who came before him. The a
cauitaI one. and the lanky backwoodsmsn declared
determined opposition 10 capital punishment. Look
ing at him sternly and In tones somewhat sug-
gestive Of wrath. the Judge asked tho fellow II he
did not think there conditions extraordI-
nary as 10 warrant the hanging of the offender.
He said he did not believe anything could make
hin, assent to such verdict.
But will your honor let me EXPLAIN" said the
disqualified citizen. I'D like to give the court my
reasons.
= don't wish TO hear any explanation from you
Go and sit down.
Excuse me, judge. nut you hear my rea-
son"
well then. give IL. and GO along with YOU"
THE reason I opposed 20 capital punishment
your honor is that my Old nanny taught IT
were a sin TO kill anything that wasn't htten 20
eat"
story is told She was once asked 10y lady hair
dresser for testimonial for some hair wash Ellen
be ina gined when she received large oeTtralt Of
IN tne hs as'rss part she wears Wis with beautiful ioRs
plaits beneath the photo was written; Ellen
Ts.lSs' TssS.' '''' w '''''~'''' -