davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22

shouters at home cards and spades.
They bend themselves backward and
forward in jack-knife attitudes,
hoarsely repeating over and over
again the name of allah They
froth at the mouth, spin around like
tops. Shrek like delirious coyotes and
usually conclude by railing over in an
eplleptic convulsion and being carried
out on a shutter. A good many tour
lists enjoy seeing it, put all of us had
visited the Chicago Board of Trade,
and on the whole the performance
seemed rather tame and spiritless.
Cairo as a whole, was big surprise
to us. We knew that it was going to
be cosmopolitan, but we were not pre-
pared to find it so metropolitan. We
had pictured it as one or two semi
European streets hedged in by vast
area of native quarter But, unless
you seek out the Old parts of the town
or the bazars, each showing a dis
unct type of tie Oriental shark Cairo
is outwardly quite modern, very at
tractive and decidedly gay-that is,
not real wicked gaiety of the Partisan
brand, but modified. winter resort
gaiety. the kind that is induced by the
presence of money spending tourists.
There is no hurrah night life, and
gambling. which fiourished here for
many seasons under the skillful direc-
ton of our ocuntryman, Mr.. Pat
Sheedy. has yielded to British re-
formatory influence.
The modern streets in Cairo, with
their attractive hotels, residences and
shops, suggest a blending of Paris and
the Riviera-consistent architecture,
trees, palms. gardens. The streets are
of boulevard width and the houses of
cheerful coloring. many Of them bear
ing colored frescoes in delicate shades.
We who live in a country of rainfall
and smoke and changing temperatures
are impelled to stop and gaze in won
der at a mansion of snowy white with
pattern of pale blossoms dropping
down the front of it. That style of
decoration would last about twenty
minutes in Chicago.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22
A
{a%%%%%" oNGWI W MUS III F61SOOu1 70 NEW


poked at the briny minnows with mis-
fork and asked What are these2"
Those are anchorites. replied Mr.
Peasley. without the slightest hesita-
ton.
As a rule he gets one syllable right,
which is pretty good for him. At pres
ent he is much interested in the huge
dams of masonry and iron gates that
have been thrown across the Nile al
Assault and Assouan. Over here they
are called "barrages" Mr. Peasley IN
sists upon calling them garages We
tried to explain TO him that garage
was a place where automobiles were
cared for. but he said that automobile
and dam belonged in The same cate
CORY aud often meant practically the
same thing, so he continues to speak
of The garage"
BY the way. when a pious English
man over here, say bishop on va
cation, wishes to relieve his feelings
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22

The head waiter listened and then
translated to us as follows: He is
saying to his friend that he slept very
well last evening and got up feeling
good, but was somewhat annoyed at
breakfast time because the egg was
not cooked TO suit him.
How about all these gymnastics? ?"
asked the surprised Mr.. Peasley.
why does he hop up and down, side
step and feint and wiggle his fingers
and all that monkey business"
quite So" replied the head waiter
"He is describing the egg"
What a people-to take five cents
worth of cheap information and gar
land it with twenty dollars worth 70
Delsarte and rhetorici
Talk Is one of the few things OF
which there is superabundanee in
the Levant. In nearly all particulars
the Arab is economical and abstemi-
nous. He eats sparingly and cheaply
wears just enough clothing to keep
from violating the municipal ordi-
nances. smokes conservatiyely so as
10 get the full value of his tobacco
and lives in a house which is fur
DlSneu WlIn Three VI IOuI primitive
utensils. But when it comes to Ian
guage he is the most reckless spend
thrift in the world. He uses up large
ba1es of conversation.
Suppose that three porters at rail
way station are to take trunk from
a car and put it on a truck and wheel
| 1t out to a cab The talk made neces
sary by this simple operation would fiji
several pages in the Congressional
Record. All three talk necessarily
each telling the others what TO do and
finding fault because they don't do il
his way One seems to be superin
tendent, the second is foreman and the
third Is boss
Endless disputes of a most vivid
character rage among the donkey boys
and peddlers who assemble near tbs
hotels and lie in wait for victims
what do they And to talk about?' Is
the question that comes 10 one every
time he hears the babel of excited
voices And while we are smiling al
| their childish tantrums they are split
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22
BY GEORGE AIDE.

Copyrighted, 1906, by
George AIDE.

steady, not literally speaking, but as
regards their value A good terra
Gotta camel. So to so hands high and
broken to a single-foot. will fetch "a
high as $3.50. The older ones-spay-
ined. hairless or pigeontoed-can be
bought for as lowly as $50 each. The
common or garden camel, trained to
foid up like pocket camera and carry
from three to eight tons of cargo, can
usually be bought at from 800 To
S125.
We looked in at the moving DER
wishes. These devout priests of the
Mohammedan persuasion get as
much enjoyment out of their religious
services as if they were real Chris
tians and lived in the backwoods of
America. Like some of our pious
conntrymen, they seem to think that
an exhibition of religious frenzy Is
sure proof of santifed spirit. AS
Mr.. Peasley put it, they can give our
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22

after all. 1t is more fun to drift
around a new town and rub up against
the people than to deliver yourself
body and soul. over to a guide. In
Egypt the guide is called a dragoman
He puts on airs and has an inside
pocket bullying with testimonials from
people who were so glad to get out
of his clutches that they willingly per-
jured themselves by giving him half
hearted certificates of good character.
While you are in the hands Of the
dragoman you feel like dumb, driven
COW. You follow the futtering night
shirt and the tall red fez of this arch
villain for hours at time. not know
ing where you are going or why. He
takes absolute charge of you, either by
making specious representations or
boldly assuming authority. and when
YOU start out to visit the famous
mosque of old Midullah Oblongahta or
some other defunct celebrity you fin
ish up in a junk shop for the sale OF
antiques. all of which are personally
guaranteed by the dragoman, because
he is a silent partner in the business.
In many countries, especially at
times when the traveller must con-
dense his itinerary. the guide is a
necessary evil and in Egypt he is sup
posed TO be sort of ornamental body
guard We found that we could wan
der about without being battered and
led, so we spent pleasant hours in the
Mouslxi which is the native shopping
street. and also we went to the race
meeting and saw native horses and
ponies, carrying 40 to $50 pounds
each. saunter around a half mile track
while a large number of English in
Mard Gfas costumes drank gallons OF
tea and simulated polite interest.
One afternoon we wandered into a
market and man tried to sell me q
camel. Wherever we go, If a man has
something he doesn't want he tries to
sell it TO me. and sometimes he does
it, But | refused to take the camel.
did not see now ! could fold 1t up and
secrete it SO as to get it through the
custom house.
Camels in the Cairo market are now
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22

ting their sides over new stories relat-
ing to that strange being from the
antipodes. the barbarian with the
mushroom helmet who exudes money
at every pore, who keeps himself bun
died in unnecessary clothes and rides
out to the desert every day to stand
in the baking sun and solemnly con
template a broken column and a heap
of rubbish. Truly it all depends on
the point Of view.
We held back the Pyramids and the
Sphinx so as to make our visit to
them the cap sheaf of the stay in
Cairo. As for sightseeing. most of the
time we just rambled up one street
and down another, looking in shop
windows. watching the worlImen kill
time with their prehistoric nipple
ments. smeIling the bazars, lodging
dog carts, donkeys and camels and
having a fine time generally.
Aimless excursions are the best
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22
MOONSHINE I'm ALABAMA i


ard who smote me. BE right still I've
only got two TO go to win out
"A couple of sports was yootilizln' mo
for table, and I'm the last man in the
world to interfere with any little inner
cent amusement between. gents thataway,
and so | remains thar ontl the hand WAS
played out. tho at the last, one of the
enthusiastic card-sharps swung his ace
for the opposite party's Jack, and board
ed his cyard mighty fervid, to the extent
of mighty nigh dislocatin' my shoulder,
The muscular citizen was Jeemes Frank
lin Shellnut, and as soon as the stakes
was raked In by him we shook hands and
irrigated to the extent OF a quart of am
brosia In gettin' mootually acquainted
found out that Jeemes Franklin was
lawyer man. Casually | haint got no use
for attorney at law ON gin principals
most of EN- OFT to be taln' in plain
SEWN for a Twin, instead of stirrin up
strife among people as the puny, ornery
ones Of EN- do: but this yere lawyer man
was sorter like our kind of mounting folks.
He had most Noracfous appetite FOR corn
whisky. he knowed every lnau, woman
and child in the hills, he could flip up
jack from TIE bottom In pasteboard
controversy without trnln hair, and
he had a. voice Ike a mosul ensNne Hired
up with mule meat So far as KNOWN
law was concerned. he was Il leetle shy
ON some pints specially ON them written
hair spfitters called Pleadin's. Didn't
know a demurrer from roam colt. bnt
let him gil 10 argtin a case before a
jluX and he was baby volcano or lanB-
widee and Il loarin harrkin of bilin hot
-syntax- .-,rhem verbal powers of his be-
fore a jury was somethin fierce. When
he turned on the tremeo crank in his
voice. wiped his nose on his coat sleeve
and hoM-led for a verdict Of not guilty for
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22

from Indiana the Hpsiers should
beat this record. No dlubt they will
retain their primitive viApr for a long
er period, say nine tho sand years.
If so, the anticigarettel law will be
indicated
We certainly had a feeling of guilty
pleasure when We sat in font of Shep-
heard's Hotel and smoked the wicked
little things and knew thai the police
man standing a few feet aKay did not
dare to raise his hand against us.
A very clever young AMERICAN owns
a shop near the hotel He i a student
of Egyptology and dealer IN genuine
antiquities. including mumnfes. While
was nosing through his objection ct
scarabs idols, coins and dher time
worn trinkets he suggested that |
purchase Il mummy.
Can | get one?s I askel, in sur
prise.
I can get you a gross if you want
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22

I ferred his affections further down the
valley to rich wilder with three chillun
and wart on her nose.
"Old Bill Gasser owned cantankcrous
mule as had decided preiudices ergin
worliin i'm harness, in fact the aninlile
give 1t out pintedly that he was biased
TO the extent of profanity at the mere
idea of wearing leather on his hide in
any shape except a saddle. Sevvereul
broken limbs and busted collar bones
among the niggers of the settlement bore
witness To the. depth of feelin' of this
we're .Balum on this subject. Horndoogin
made the acquaintance of the eccentric
quadruped, and bought him cheap on &C
count of them absurd views of his'en
ergin workin in shafts. They got erlong
unanimous, and peaceful cos the fust
mornin that Dewherry bestrode that mule
his feet stuck out way past the mules
neck just like a pair of shafts and the
hay-burner seen thar warnt no harm in
shafts and he went erlong afterwards in
harness as harmonious as likker at
weddin
"Fust case of damages ] ever argyed on
Harril1in was the one whur bootblack
sued Dewberry p. Horndoogin for refusin'
To pay for the lumber used 10 make the
scaffoldn' needed in shinin' Dewbefry :
shoes-other side appealed the case. but
We won IL IN Spftem kolt. All the IA"
yers will reeollect readin' the case, re-
ported in 'Steenth Alabama-case of
Sprawls vlssus Horndoogin, page 100 Not
long since / was perusin OF a western pa
per containin' an item about a noble decd
of one OF its citerzens 1t seems a welt
grown Niger child died in town of the
praries, remote from a lumber market,
and there warnt ernun scantln' IN the
burg to make coffin for the deceased.
If ha opnprO1lSlN do
mated new FIVE dollar shoe. patent
leather. made for left foot. and the coon
was decently Inferred in substantial leath-
or bindin Papers was full Of the mag
naninmls iced I'm not honin' to wager.
hut Eli go any gent three to one to the
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22

beckoned the head waiter, who had
been TALKING 10 us in English.
Look here" he said. conidentially,
Il want you to listen and tell me what
those fellows are talking about. |
cant catch a word they say, but as
near as | can make out from the way
they act that fellow with the goatee
is describing some new kind OF tor
pedo boat II goes through the water
at about thirty miles an hour, having
three or four screw propellers. When
II comes within striking distance Of
the enemy-bangi they cut her loose
and the projectile goes whizzing to
the mark, and when it meets with any
resistance there is a big explosion and
everything within a quarter of mile
is blown to findereens. Now, that's
the plot. as near as I can follow it
from watchin' that short guy make
motions. You listen to them and tell
me IF I'm right.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22
BY WELLINGTON VANDHVER

/ sweet Eaters. with a little corn In the
LIQUID state on the side, he civ re-
markable specimen of his conversational
powers in narratin' some eepisodes relatin
10 The feet of his former law podner. Dow
berry p. Horndoogin. SEE he, forkin
about feet gentlemen. reminds me OF the
abnormal hoofs of a legal hnnhiary who
erstwhile shared The Joys and SORROWS or
a junior partnership in The law hfm OF
"Shellnut & Horndoogin. Y is solemn
fact that the pedal extremities of Barris-
ter Horndoogin in size and shape laid
over ANYTHING in the treadle ite'that ever
infested this country They was abnormal
they inclined to the picturesque Within
the circumference of my judishul recol-
lection | fail to recollember more eolos-
sal pair of understandings than was at
tached to the perpendicular limbs OF the
aforesaid Horndoogin. You Will egsskuze
me il | sometimes lose my holt on high
class etiket and alloode to the learned
counsellor Familiarity by his front name
In our callow days we We're mutually
enamored of two sisters-Caruthers by
name-who were as beautiful as they were
endowed with dough, lovely as geraninms.
rich as bottom land My podner, Horndoo-
gin-D. p H0rndoosin. called by some as
gustngly familiar outcastS DewberrN T.
-eourted the younger sister assduously
ont on the wide vrandy with his feet
comfortably propped up on the banister
rails lie ceased 10 press his suit after
a hectic interview with old Iimr Garnth-
ers. the parterna parient of the gals,
wherein that old shorthern requested
Horndoogin TO cease elevatin' them leath-
er caskets up on The banisters, as il shad-
ed the flowers in the front yard SO they
wouldn't grow none. Old Zim suggested
that like as not Dewberry p Horndoogin
co,,1d tpg1x tbaun ,ire boxes some prs down
In the cellar. and give the grass on the
lawn a chance nj the sunshine.
'Them reflections On his Trilbys
aroused The ire Of the legal gent. so arter
denouncin old Zim as asIum- soaked hoss-
thief. he pulled his freight and trans
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22

, TO the ninth generation his forensic efforts
sorter ohtruded on the public Even the
best natured lawyer on the other side
sometimes got leetle chafed over these
rankin yociferas tilins of Jeemes Frank
lin. and let in to flngin ink bottles,
poluldn' with law books and bombardin'
with spittoons: these amenities resultin
in a fist and skull fight, and fine for
kontefnp of kort But Lawdl this didn't
faze Shellnut; he looked on sich proceed
ms as a part of the days wash, and he
ginnully bunged up the other lawyer wuss
EN- lie got bunged.
TOf coas with these oratorical gifts it
was dead easy for him to horn-snoggle
jury-fact Is, he commonly had 'em with
him from the begnnin' of the deal. A
hog-stealln case was his long suit When
eyer citerzen was tangled up with
charge of ben' prematurey prone with
unholy dalliance with another mans
swine he sent for Jeemes Franklin at
once. and that lawyer party was delighted
to git action on his ef right away. Thar
wasn't uothin' about the ntricacies,
twisting and turnins of a hog stealth
case that Jeemes Franklin wasn't onto,
and didn't gloat over Heard him roar
through a case over on Harrikin where
Rube was horsed mp before the kort for
undue familiarity with nayber's shoat.
Proof was plain as the nose on yer face;
witnesses had found hog hair under the
bed: other gents swore to the mark OF
the hog 5 years; four felers givesft in that
lthey had seen the defendant shoot the
hawg. ana tote il off through the swamp:
shuIuff told of a confession made by the
victim whurin he admitted to-hasin, fresh
pork-never listened to a clearer case In
my life Looked like all the jury had to
do was to go out and come back with
verdict of guilty. The solicitor made his
usual little dinkN speech on the majesty
of the Tor. the old ship of state, and the
uvlolability of the oath 81 the jNror.
.Teemes Franklin riz with two by -four
grin on his face. and lacerated the tym-
psnum of old ledge FOR an hour. BY
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22
EEMEs FRANKLIN sHELLNt
was conversationalist cfar

was a converse tionalist cIaf
~ down TO tho hooks. No gayer
oral bird ever shook his tail feathers in
bur vicinity. | don't lay down my, hand
ito any party between the Georgy line and
IPeckerwood erik ON szn' up converse
'tion tharfoar I'll impart to you. maxim
1t mighty emphatic that Jeemes Franklin
was shorely the limit. Merely TO listen to
him had the same effect on your liver as
sopenin' a fve-hand jack pot on a ace full.
eI1e was conceded TO be the shorest shot
with his mouth in the tropic of Kaprcorn.
Talkin' at a mark, all you had to do with
the said Shellnut was to give him the dis
tance, and let him fix his sights. and he'd
hump hissef without a rest and lam OBJ
eervations into the center, until the COWS
come home
my fust acquaintance with this rec
markerbul philologist was erway over in
Georgy In my yonng days. at little
pney woods grocery whur Il whole lot of
us had been ltbatin pitehin craekloo.
and keepin' the har-keep .parliekerb busy
until late at night when l laid down on
the floor, sorter exhausted from freightin
the cargo OF groceries | had aboard. All
the space whur man could sleep was
already occupied with IA tired gent recu-
peratin' with sIlmber. eXcep a small spot
in the middle of the floor, and occupied
this, face down While all aironnd me
was hilarious parties argefyln politics.
and tradin mendacity.
..Along toards mornn' was walked up
by tremendous thump between the
shoulders At once | begun Ia git or
Ganized for war. and yelled out, Hades
and high water, What outcast was that
what hit me in the back?
Lay still, stranger says the drunk
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22
,.,u,un.,,,nu,,nnaa.nr,.u,,u"n'na

quotin' decisions from Kalamazoo to
Baton HooGe. and got the kort dusty
readin from some English uncommon Tor
two thohsing years old; then he lit on
the jury like hawk on "A chicken and
bawled some fervd eloquence like this
Gentulmen of the juror YOU have
hearn the witnesses swar that they seen
this maligned farmer boy pint his deadly
weepun at the malignant and hostile
hawg; you have listened to EN- make
afferdafy that they seed the flash of the
deadly instrument as 1t was leveled and
vomited foarth its adamantine contents;
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22
Absent.

From the Catholic STANDARD and Times.
Well well!' exclaimed the returned
Jerseyman, who had been abroad for
years, "how things have changed. 1t
doesn't seem like home at ALL
But they told him, it is winter
time. you know
What of THAR
Well, there are no mosquitoes in ~,a-
ter. you know.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22
THE FEET OF .H1ORNDOOGHN


fextent of my pile that the aforesaid prom
inent member of the western bar. maxim
this donation, was no less a pusson than
my former podner Horndoogin, to wit,
Dewberry p Horndoogin. formerly of the
law firm of Shellnut & Horndoogin.'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22

them he replied
"What would a man do with a gross
of mummies?"
You can give them away. They
are very ornamental. Formerly my
only customers were colleges and
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22

YOU have set cam'ly in your churs while
they-told of hearin' the ke-bow of the
hawkins rifle and the .frenzied-squeal
OF the metamorphic animile, but whar?
oh, whar? gentulmen of the juror, whar
is the witness who testifies before you
that he seen that built hit that hawg?
lin this yere case. the Jury got hung,
and made a mistrial. cos two or three Of
EN- thought the state had sorter failed
to prove enuff: and that night while
Jeemes Franklin was settin up supper
to the Jury and estin' pork gravy and
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22

and on the quiet. 1hen
when We come face to face with some
sight and are wondering about this
or that Mr.. Peasley opens the fool
gate Of his newly acquired knowledge
and deluges the whole party. He is
seldom correct. and never accurate,
but he knows that he is dealing with
an ignorance more profound than his
own, and that gives him confidence.
For instance, the first afternoon in
Cairo We chartered an open convey
ance and rode out to the citadel and
the mosque of Mohammed Ali, both of
which are perched on a high lime
stone cliff overlooking the city 1he
mosque is modern and very gorgeous
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-04-22
1T r. PEAsLEY is a seeretivc
Ii et,do,t Of H. o,,idobool-
He reads up beforehan

and on the quiet. The
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1906-12-07

Scott's M. E. Church Services
Preaching II a. m, Sunday school, II
m; Epworth League. $50 .. M;
preaching. 1880 p. m; prayer and class
meetings Thursday evening and Sun.
day morning. Everybody 10 welcome
to the family church on Twenty sixth
avenue and Clarkson streets, Rev.
James E. Williams, pastor.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1906-12-07

PRIDE OF THE WEST LODGE NO.
10. X. OF P.-Castle Hall. Collins
block. Meeting nights, first ano
third Tuesdays each month. vii.
liam Byrd. C. c.; c. F. Albert. X. Of
r. and s., Box $40. Laramie. Wyo-
ming
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1906-12-07
coLuMs,NE COURT NO. m.

I. o. o. c.
Meets the second and fourth Tuee
day evenings at 1713 Curtis Street
All visiting members are invited TO
attend.
JESSIE A. TAYLOR, ". C.
TULIP BANKS, r. D.,
3626 Blake Street.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1906-12-07
PYrHAooRAs LODGE.

Pythagorns Lodge. A. +. L A. ".
tesdville. meets the hrst and third
TUESDAYS In each month.
Hall III W. 9Th street.
A. j. YOUNG, W. NJ
p. l.. JOHNSON, Secretary.
ia E. Ninth Street
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1906-12-07
SIMPSON REST LODGE.

simpson Rest Lodge. No. 10. 4 =.
Z A. NJ, Trinidad. meets the nrst and
third Tuesday lights In tie month.
nsmb arr In good standirs Are wst
N.F. eTHDLE, ". n.
Al SMITH. oecv
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1906-12-07

Iold Camp Lodge. A. T. 4 4. H..
Cripple Greek, Colo. meets the Arst
nd third Wednesdays i'd the month.
L. F. Mccullough, W. N.
Geo. W. Cotwell, Secretary.