The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1906-08-29

NOW DOT 1t VhaS SO big dot it takes in
paving stones like to have 1t fixed"
ut vhas cash ON der nail if l fix it."
II does better ash dot, old man. You
tinker uop dot shoe for me und l shat!
put you next"
Next to vhat!" | asks.
Next to u weeks work. Say, cob
bier. l vhas only an old tramp nit one
eye cooked up und no hope Of going to
heaven When die, but l know a thing
or two. Listen to me-"
Und we talk in confidence for half an
hour. l mend his shoe und he makes
me n sign to hang oop in my window
dot night. Dot sign reads:
For governor Hans der cobbler; his
p%latform-no trusts, no rebates, no graft.
Bring in your shoes to mend und talk it
over init der peoples candidate.
l don't think much of dot sign when
it vhas done, und l tell der tramp so.
but he smiles und says:
"lf it don't put you next l vhas u
goat. You go to bed tonight to dream
of angels. In der morning you Will
have plenty of customers. My name
vhas Cock Eyed Sam. 1t vhas my
business to know public opinion. So
long, Gully. See you later"
don't dream of any angels dot
night. but l don't hardly swallow my
breakfast in der morning before a fat
man comes in init two pairs of shoes
to mend und says to me:
by George. but have been waiting
for dis for twenty years! So you vhas
going to run for GOVERNOR"
II vhas."
lind you vhas down on trusts and
graft and rebates:"
II fall on 'em like a house il l vhas
elected"
Good. Shake hands! Dere vhas a
million people in dis state shust like
me. II YOU shall be elected shust like
grease. Fix oOp dose shoes. und l
bring you in some more. BY golly, but
we shall bust der grafters sky high
When he goes out a man
comes in. He likes patches on two
shoes. When l tells him how much it
vhas he says:
"llans, let me say Il kind word to
you. Don't be too previous"
"HOw vhas dot"
Don't speak too much about graft
!ng. 1t vhas all right. Everybody
vhas il it. from der man who shingles
der roof of Il church down 10 der cook
IN der basement OF Your house. 1t has
become an American custom. You can
say you Will be down ON murder, but
go light on grating. l vhas a public
official. l don't steal l cent if YOU
offer me Il million dollars, but if l can
graft a dollar now und den l do so to
keep up to date"
When he goes out Il wOman comes in
NIT some children's shoes und saws:
"lIans. vhas dot sign right? Do YOU
eun for GOVERNOR"
Eyes"
"Cnd YOU Will go back on trusts, re-
baters und graftersy"
II Will"
"I'en you vhas my candidate. DO
you know l 60 by der butcher shop
yesterday to get a chicken gizzard for
my dyspepsia. l find all chicken gig
yards in der hands of a trust. und no.
body but m%illionaires can buy 'em.
Must suffer nit dyspepsia because
! don't have carriages und diamonds
unu ten servants to wait on me? Not
II my name vhas Mary Jane. l go in
to make YOU governor und knock all
trusts sky high. Hang out your ban
ners und hurrar for our side.."
Der next person to come in vhas der
coal man. He brings two old shoes
Of his wife's und holds 'em out to me
ind says:
Hans. you see how it vhas nit der
coal business. Everybody says we
vhas a trust und grinding dowr der
poor, but does dot look like it? My