The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-08-31

tn HE department of printing and engraving at
Washington has posted announcement that
I all women who apply for positions there must
Only tall and s.wlowy'' girls viii be employed and
girls who carry little more flesh than the svet figure
allows will have to look elsewhere for government
service To be exact, girl must be over feet 1912
inches tall, but must not measure more than sixteen
inches in width the hips nor exceed thirteen
inches i'll bust depth.
Now on the face of it, this foolish, for
tainly one, not even government official, but
loves to the chunky girl around No, Birdie, it is
not your embonpont per to which the government
takes exception. The head of the department lamey
explains that "high R2esses' and other machinery
crowded in small spa make it Impossible tor the ne
moving the machinery, he proposes cutting down the
girls to fit the presses.
Seems if it might be possible to collect the girls
built the beanpole principle from the other depart
ments for the printing and engraving bureau and TO
send back in their place. the cunning, round we'll up
holstered girls who printing and engraving
Nv this method of transfer it would not be necessary
to issue an order that, translated into foreign Ian
guages makes the heads of eee monarches and their
state departments get down on the moor and ron over
with i'll concealed mrth at shirtsleeve diplomacy
And then think of the fat girls narrowed feelings!
Never mind, Birdie. We like you just the same.
Some slight army trouble, jealousy or something
is said grown up between General Funston and
his superior officer General Greedy At the San Fran
cisco earthquake General Funston hustled right there
and began do useful and valuable things contrary
to the army red tape made and provided for such
occasions. No wonder he got himself suspected.
We would like to be rich but not SO all powerful
Rich that we had to hire to have fun for
Baron Petroffski Of Russia, estates Moscow,
has invented drink that sounds like "kish-leshee.'
The drink is species Of mead Of an aromatic rose
flavor and compounded from apple juice, honey, Hour
and water When this commixon is given time to fer
ment it Is said to have all the qualities of Jewish
massacre, and its drives to vote split ticket
and boiler fire. at funerals. It is educated rela
tive of hard cider gone bad.
If you find yourself becoming tired Of the theater
and wearyng Of its sentimental platudes and conven
tonal situations it may not mean that you are growing
old and sophisticated, but that something is wrong
with the stage ITSELF George Bernard Shaw sums 1T
all up this way:
'<The theater is the ralying ground Of most of our
outgrown ideas and old-fashioned heroics.'
A recent writer in ''Life'' says that what want
for living the old life This is the last desperate
attempt of the old life to give excuses for it's
passing show. What we really are wanting is the
new life. When the playwriter pictures the new
life the stage the theater will not hold the
rejuvenated crowds that will flock to see it:
Ibsen is the great playwrgh of the Man Overcome.
lbsens hero is heredlty s. environment passion $,
experience slave The hero of the drama is the
Man Overcoming rising above heredity and environ
ment not with mock heroics and spiritual chestiness
but by wisdom and science. German proverb says
that experence is the FOOLS master; reason the wise
81
What the new stage demands is an Ibsen Reversed
s sartor Resartus, tailor retailed. We have some
times thought that we would take half day off and
write the Play Of the Future. But by the time one
gets started stunt like that, the grass needs cut
ting again the rugs are left out the lawn as
gentle hint that it is field day for father. So these
ighty epoch making things are put off again. Neve,
mind, somebody else will do them. Perhaps it is
little too early yet. See you in 1950l "A. j. R.