davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
ANOTHER EXPLANATION.

Recently. while the Helpful Hints edi-
tor was absent FOR a week or two. mis-
work was handled by the Puzzle editor.
and a number of errors crept into the
column Many Of them were trivial, but
Ga one instance We feel that the error
was serious and We hasten 20 adjust IL.
Mrs Sophia Brown. Of East Wind Ind,
asked for q recipe for picking green to-
matoes. In the same mail was query
from Miss Lizzie MaEruder. Of joy Cen
ter Iowa, who said she was troubled
with aching eyes. and wanted US TO sug-
Eest something that would give relief
The Puzzle editor, whose mind was oe-
cupied, probably, with the construction
Of "a double inverted pyramid on the word
"paraIlelopipedon.' answered the two in
quiries. and got the the replies mixed
somewhat
He advised Miss Magruder to wash all
the dirt off Of them. then scald them
quickly I'm boiling water. After that put
them overnight in q strong brine. Next
morning lift them out one by one, dry
with q clean towel. cut into narrow slices.
put into a deep jar and pour over them
n hot sniCed vinegar. Seal them up care
fully and they will be ready for use in a
month Mrs Brown, who wanted TO
pickle the tomatoes was urged 10 bathe
them IN lukewarm water, and then with
a glass dropper drop two drops of bo-
raCic acid solution into each one, tie a
cold towel over them and protect them
from the light until they showed no more
symptoms of pain.
II is unaEf4se a state that Tho o-r-,- NJ, O.
unintentional, although both Mrs. Brown
and Miss Magruder have written rather
tartly to us. Miss MagTuder asks US IL
we do not think we ought to sign the
pledge before answering any more Quer-
les, and Airs. Brown accuses US Of having
caused her 20 spoil two bushels Of choice
tomatoes. AS we said before, we can
only express our regret and promise to
avoid such confusion in the future.
WILBUR NESBIT.
- II i
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Pooling Il Critic.

From Success
What can be more mirth-provokng
than the naive simplicity with which a
pompous critic. who pridcs himself on his
iynx-eyed acuteuess, viii sometimes walk
into a trap that has been set for him?
When Alexander Pope was translatIng
Homer. he read. by request. several books
Of the "IliJd' TO Lord Hallfax-Wh0m he
characterizCs as literary coxcomb-at
his house. During the reading his lord
ship. several times stopped the poet and
suggested that certain passages might be
improved. Perplexed and irritated by the
advice, the poet withdrew with Garth.
who laughed heartily at the incident. and
told him TO leave the verses Just as they
were-to call on Halifax "a month later
thank him for his criticisms. and then
read again the verses to MIN unaltered
Pope followed this advice, saying 20 Hal
flax that he hoped his lordship would now
ind his objections Temoved-upon which
Halifax, delighted. cried out. 'Ay. now
they are perfectly right; nothing can be
better 30
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Admitting Il.

From the New York Herald
John Kendrick Bangs was discussing in
a New York club case OF plagiarism.
The man admitted that plagiarism was
suspected of him. said Afr. Bangs. smil-
ing. 'He almost admitted it was proved
He reminded me Of a Yonkers boy I used
to know.
This boy said 10 his chum one morn
ing:
Il hid under the parlor sofa last night
to hear what young Softleich would say
70 my sister"
90 Wen, what did he sayo' the other boy
asked
lie only talked religion and politics
and he kicked me about thirty tfneS On
the head
He knew yoG were there. I guess.
said the second boy
m afraid he suspected it
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
An AnecdOte of PericIes.

FTom PUCK
Democracy was a new thing 20 the Ath-
enians and they became so dreadfulIy
swelled over it that Pericles was at his
wits end what 10 do with them.
If it were not for the plain people.
politics would be easy" he was often
heard 10 complain.
Finally, in his desperation, he consulted
the Delphic oracle.
Give the plain people plenty Of rope. 80
was the yelled answer OF the pythoness.
and leave the rest 10 the gods"
fericles was sOrely puzzled But on hts
way back 10 Athens he purchased a cigar
or the boy Oh the train. and il was u
Connecticut cigar.
i wonder II this can be the rope the
oracle meant? he suddenly exclaimed
after he had smoked a while.
II could be, and was. To make a long
story short, great political secret had
come 10 light. and from that time forth
Pericles had pretty much his own way in
everything
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
A Case in Point.

Joseph X. Choate. in arguing the case
of the New York Central Railroad. which
has Tor the second time been convicted
Of granting rebates TO the sugar trust.
remarked that members Of the legal pro-
fession were subject 10 public condemna-
ton when they gave 70 powerful cor
poratioas the legal protection they were
lawfully entitled to have.
The nature Of Mr.. Choate's argument
I'm this very case shows why. It was
proved during the trial that the railroad
paid rebates. but it was contended that
the agreement to pay them antedated the
passage Of the Elkins law. Mr.. Choate
sought to convince the court that the law
was ex post fac:o so far as the cas-. at
bar was concerned. the agreement hav-
ing been made and the shipments deliv-
cred before the enactment Of the Elkins
bill, while the payment TO the sugar trust
was made after the bill became law. But
Judge Holt quickly brushed aside this
quibble by saying that payment Of re-
bates after the passage Of the law was
clearly violation Of its provisions. and
he so instructed the jury. which soon
brought in verdict Of guilty.
Mr.. Choate. of course. violated no rule
Of professional etiquette when he under
took the defense of a corporation. even
though his defense was Inadequate TO
save his client from conviction: but when
la lawyer of Mr.. Choate's eminence and
lofty ideals Of public conduct appears
before jury to point out dubious
technicality through which a railroad
corporation may escape the penalty for
admitted wrongdoing, is it strange that
the plain people" should wonder at the
moral code governing the action Of cor
poratiOn attorneys?
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Thomas Collier pIatt.

That Senator Platt win retire from the Senate
I'm tie near future is now looked upou hy many Of
the Republican leaders a strong possibility. New
York Herald.
This possibility. it appears to-day, is
quite remote Yet We know of no Sena-
torial resignation that would be received
with less regret, or that would detract so
little from the honor. usefulness, and repu-
tatiOn of the Senatorial body Nothing
else would so well become him as self
effacement COmmiseration is now his
portion. His charitable colleagues and
countryaen pity him. His retirement
would make it the easier to forget him.
a Senator Of the United States. Heaven
save the mark
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
The Meanest Graft Of All.

/ The shocking stories Of graft coming
/ from san Francisco are almost incredible.
/ If anything on earth can be immune
/ from the dirty hands of thieves and
| gratters. Il should be a fund poured forth
/ from willing pocketbooks in an hour of
great distress and desttutiOa.
| This fund was made up from all sources
from the fat checks Of millionaires 10
the pennies Of the newsboy and the
widow. and IT streamed forth gladly and
plentifully. Never did the nation respond
more nobly 70 humanity's call It was as
| fine q demonstration Of the true brother
hood Of man as this country ever saw.
Now we are told that over a million dol
lars of this money. never reached the suf-
ferers at all. This IS almost too amazing
to be credited. The grafter-that greatest
curse Of American instituuons-got in his
Shiny hand. it appears, and filed his pock-
cts from the peoples Offering.
The President is quoted as having said
that he would spend a million dollars to
convict these unspeakabIe plunderers
Whether lie said it or not fl is TO be
hoped that he viii leave nothing undone
20 bring them 10 a stern and speedy jus
tiCe.
Municipal corruption has been rampant
in this country for a long time. Grating
has come 20 be but a polite name for
downright thieving. II seemed that Of
fcials could not possibly fan lower than
some have fallen prior to this But this
specific instance of graft quite caps the
climax.
Il IS the maximum Of meanness: the
limit of dishonesty.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Hearst No, the Nan for 1905.

From the Atlanta Journal
The Democracy would be marked for the
worst defeat in its history if Hearst
should force his nomination in 1905. No
man who fought sincerely for the national
ticket in 1904 would fail TO remember the
Hearst opposition 10 that ticket And the
present personal distrust of Mr Hearst
IN the South, in the West, as well as IN
New York, deserved OF undeserved. the
diStrust of his sincerity in advocating the
reforms in which the people heartily be-
lieve. would lead to his overwhelming de
feat
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
working Under DimcuIties.

Admiral George a. Converse, who soon
is 10 retire and at the same time relin-
quish TO Capt Brownson. a personal
friend of the President the Office of
chief Of the Bureau of Navigation. the
most important position in the Navy De-
partment. has made a record in that
Office which his brother officers declare
viii be the standard for long time to
come. AMI he has done this. too. under
the Disadvantages of ill-health which
would have driven a less determined man
from the public service several years
ago. Admiral Converse has been a con-
stant sufferer from bronchial troubles for
many years and il is said that not in all
that time has he been free from pain a
minute. But he has not lost a day from
his desk since he has been at the head Of
the Bureau OF Navigation. and mas never
complained. He is Of cheerful spirit al
ways. and is one of the most accommo-
dating officials at the Navy Department.
especially to newspaper men who have
business there.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Favors Lower Freight Rates.

From the Philadelphia Press.
By next winter it should be clear,
through the action Of the commission,
that the rate legislation of last spring
means lower freighJS. not for the big
shippers who had rebates i'm the past. but
for the general average shipper.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Executive Domination No New Thing

From the 81. Louis Post Dispatch.
This talk OF executive domination and
the danger OF monarchy is no new thing.
When there is a divided, feeble Congress
which does not command public respect,
II one end Of the avenue. and a strong.
honest. intelligent man at the other. these
fcarsure whispers viii be heard. But if
means no more in ROosevelts day than
il did when jackson beat the Whig mag
mates to their knees. II is only a spectac-
ular exhibition of Democracy intelligently
directed
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Copyright. 1906. BY W. d. Nesbitj
Constructire LegisIation Demanded.
From the Philadelphia Press

I fIVM ne TnlIadtII1la ITess.
Constructive legislation. which viii 20
TO the root Of corporate powers, curb
the pooled and powerful interests Of
mammoth fortunes and impose adequate
burdens on their holdings during life and
az death. is demanded. The leaders Of the
Republican party in Congress must meet
this demand. They must devise large.
far-sighted policy, not merely on the cur
rency and on economic questions like the
+ tariff. but on broader issues and on new
needs called foy by the new conditions
and new public opinion
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
EFOnIcHI.

Prom the Philadelphia Public Ledger
A leading American politician recently
took his little son 10 Washington. where
they paid q visit TO the Senate gallery.
Or. Edward Everett Hale specially in
terested the boy and his father explain
ed that Dr. Hale was the Chaplain u the
Senate.
On. he prays for the Senate, doesn't
he?' asked the lad.
No, said the politician, he gets up
and takes look at the Senate. and then
prays for the country
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Progressive Partv Lenderr.

From the Clegeland Leader
RooSevelt's ReDublicaHism is the win
ming kind. It means reformed methods in
party management as well as high ideals
Of public policy striven for with practical
good sense. Ii calls for leadership by
strong. clean. nrngressiYe men.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
President should Take initiative.

From the New York Herald
why should not The President lead in
favor of tariff reform, as he did with the
rate bin. the pure food bill. and the trust
prosecutions? 1t is not the habit Of Theo-
dore Roosevelt 10 follow. We look to see
him lead in favor Of a remedial revision
of the tariff
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Strike al the Roof

t1on nc indianapolis News.
Archbishop Ireland, in an address yes
terday, delivered warning against So
cialism-which is always ia order. But
what we need in this country now is not
only warning against socialism. but a
change Of the conditions that are making
the talk of socialism possible.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

value of public order is moving to this
most desirable end. the tone and temper
Of Southern leaders Of public opinion leave
no doubt in the mind Of any observer Of
Southern progress.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
THE LAME DUCK.

Whenever there's a Job in sight
That's worth an enteTprising fight,
You'll find by people left and right
He's mentioned.
He has friends in every State,
And some OF them are men OF weight;
But anyhow. by small and great
He's mentioned.
The papers even take a hand,
And by the journals OF the land
You'll often see him lauded. ana
Some mentioned.
He never lands the Job, OF course;
But other Jobs bob up, perforce,
And for them all this old wheelhorse
Gets mentioned
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Eliminate .stnnh-n.. :,

From the Chicago Evening Pest
Intelligent revision of the tariff. reci-
procity. the elimination of stand pat. j."
must now be the Republican policy if the
next CONGRESS IS to be Republican
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
RenI Wit.

we don't like the milk we get in
Cannes. said the millionaire who was
spending the winter abroad.
Then why not have some shipped you
from Cowes?" inquired the near humor-
ist. with "a hoarse laugh.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

Washington set the example as 10 just
how long a man should be President, "
notes an Indiana contemporary. Indiana
papers ought TO be exactly certain about
how long Mr. Fairbanks is before max
ing such unguarded assertions.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Roth Drnnncd-

From the Providence Journal.
Mr.. Hearst now explains that his papers
are going to drop politics for a time. It
is fairly obvious that politics has dropped
Mr. Hearst
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Jaran Doesn,t Hnve To.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer,
Japan will not stand the treatment to
which China has been subjected, because,
unlike China in the past, she does not
have TO.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

The Countess de Castellane is said 10
be very fond of music; but will she ever
again appreciate that old classic. Bring
back my BOni TO me, be, her
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

a plumber was arrested IN New York
for stealing a brides wedding gifts. The
groom might make some good money by
purchasing a duplicate set OF gifts and
refusing 70 pay the piumbers blIl.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

out securely locking the house whereas
a few years ago locks were unknown and
unnecessary. No doubt about IL; civiiiza-
ton is q great thing.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
THE INNOCENT BYSTANDER
.sTUATrS ME-

THAT'S ME-
II there's anything TO be glad about
I'm glad about it,
II there's anything 70 be sad about
I'm sad about t.
I'm either one thing OF the other;
don't think every mans my brother.
Nor that I'm bound with some ones fet
ter.
Nor that the world is worse or better
When / am creditor or debtor
That's me.
II there's anything 1 must sigh about
I'll sign about IT,
II there's anything I must cry about
III cry about it,
7 don't go haIf-and-half with trouble
And thus make every fretting double;
No optimism can deceive me.
No pessimistic views shall grieve me
I don't care whether you believe me.
That's me,
If there's anything I should wink about
I'll wink about it.
II there's anything I should think about
I'll think about IL.
III live to-day. though. not tomorrow;
III share my JOYS and net my sorrow.
I'll walk my way. or smooth. or muddy,
Ny own approval 7 viii study
7 know ! can't please everybody.
That's me,
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Punishment 10 Fit the Crime

From the Richmond Times Dispatch.
II Japan gets too upplsh over this
California school matter. we may have
to punish her by forcing her TO take a
few Of the Philippine Islands.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Andv's Mny.

Mister, have here cents"
"Ah. my good man. here is an equal
amount"
Tanks. Mr.. Carnegie, tanks"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

In the minds eye one can just see Mr..
Rockefeller condemned and in a cell,
with all the pretty women in town car
rying him flowers and things!
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

We regret to report that Texas lady
candidate for Congress was inglOriously
defeated. However, she may console her
self: even Mr.. Bryan has failed TO talk
himself into Office
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

Mr. Bowser says he viii not rest until
Senator Bailey is defeated. The Houston
Post probably thinks Bowser is baying
the NOON
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

II Mr.. AdOlph Dahm-Peterson, of Blr-
mingham, Ala, is not In favor Of simpli-
fed names. We should like TO know why.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

Dr. Mary Walker says that men would
be at very little expense clothing their
wives II al women would adopt her
style Of dress And just think how the
women could ecoucmiEe making over their
old clothes for their husbands.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Escnnsnr Steam.

From the Chicaso RccoTi-Hersid
Somebody at Washington is likely to get
pretty badly scaIded before the boiler tube
scandal is disposed Of.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Long serrlce in the Cabinet.

Secretary Wilson. OF the Department of
Agriculture. is the nestor of the Cabinet.
and is now the cnly member who was one
of the original group composing il at the
beginning Of Mr McKinleys admlnistra-
tion. Secretaries Root and Hitchcock
were each members OF AIr. McKinIev-s
Cabinet, but both entered # toward the
close Of his first term. Mr.. Root succeed
ing Gen. Alger as Secretary OF War. and
Mr. Hitchcock following Cornelius y.
Bliss upon the lstter's retirement. To
Albert Gallatin. of Pennsylvania. Secre-
taTy Of the Treasury in the Cabinet Of
Thomas Jefferson, and In that Of his sue
cessor. James Madison. belongs the hon
or OF the longest continuous Cabinet
service. GaIlatin was appointed May
T. 1901, during Jeferson's first term
and held the office until February p
1914 a period of nearly thirteen years.
when he was superseded by George
A. Campbell, Of Tennessee, on account Of
his protracted absence in Europe. In 1873
Gallatin. while holding the Treasury
portfolio. was sent TO Europe and with
Henry Clay and John Quincy Adams as
fellow commissioners, assisted in negotiat-
ing the treaty of Ghent, which ended the
war of 1872 During this period he was
only nOminally a Cabinet officer.
If Secretary Wilson retains his present
portfolio until the close Of Mr.. RocseveIt's
present term. which seems not unlikely.
he will then have served twelve years in
Cabinet station. or three full terms Of four
years each. nearly eQualling I'm length that
Of Gailatn. and possibly exceeding il in
actual Cabinet service when Gauatin's
foreign mission is considered. Secretary
Wilson's long service is the more note
worthy from the fact that changes in Mr..
ROOseyelts Cabinet have been many and
frequent, and that more are IN sight.
Mr.. Roosevelt has now been President five
years. and two months. During that
period seventeen different individuals have
been members of his official family The
advent of Messrs. Meyer. Straus. and Gar
field into the Cabinet circle will increase
the number to twenty. Gen. Grant. who
was served by more Cabinet officers than
any Of the Presidents, had twenty-four
during the eight years Of mis- Presidency.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
His Itch Aucrinfei-

From the Houstcn Post.
Mir. Hearst is not the first man with the
itch for Office who was vigorously
scratched
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Both Adepts.

This paper states that George Ade IS
engaged 70 Ethel Barrymore
"WeU2"
7 wonder which will get in the denial
first"
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

Notwithstanding a contemporary state
ment that new bank notes are apt 20
stick together" we have never been able
Of time.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

Bad as the case is. much viii be for
given Boni Il he viii not take his troubles
to the magazines OF the lecture plat
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

Mr. CrOkeT's kind words about Mr.
Hearst at this stage Of the game wiH
doubtless be equally as much appreciated
by the latter as the elegant cranberry
sauce with which the turkey is served IS
appreciated by the turkey.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
How About Burial.

From the Richmond Times-DisTatch-
The cost OF living is reaching advanced
figures, bat you can stiIl die quite cheap
~.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

No sooner had the President landed at
Panama than jamaica brought forth 4
choice collection of earthquakes for in
spection. Everything down that way
seems likely TO get a good SHAKING 10.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

Senator Burrows intimates that the first
thing ON the programme will be Senator
SmCot shooting the chute
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

The New York Journal says the Indian
was very temperate before America was
discovered. The pale face didn't drink
red water and smoke cigarettes then.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

After ALL it looks like the noble dukes
and earls and counts and things that you
read about in the yellOw-back novels are
the ones you also seldom see.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

The newspapers are so quiet about Ad-
dicks these days that It must be necessary
for that gentleman 10 reach up every
once In a while and feel for his halo IN
order TO convince himself that It is stll
There
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

Mr.. Roosevelt Is reported to have eaten
a 30-cent lunch in one Of those Panama
restaurants. But, maybe, 1t just looked
Ike &
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

The principal character in Happy
Land is 20 be married. Going to emf
crate, as IL were.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

Tom Bigfoot Is still at large somewhere
in Nevada with the election returns, de-
spite the kicking at Headquarters.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

Civilization Is making such rapid strides
in Basutoland that now no one ever
dreams of going to sleep at night with
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

That Asheville negro who ran amuck
and killed five people must have imag-
ined himself a sort Of condensed riot.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

a Michigan deer hunter bagged another
guide TIE other day
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

Mr William Rockefeller has obtained
"a judgment against a poacher fer IS
cents. Always scrambling for more
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

A San Francisco grand jury has already
indicted Reuf and Schmidt on five counts,
and IL is 10 be hoped the counting Is
rCt through yet
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

Mrs. Hetty Green is theoretically op-
posed 20 trusts. but she is not subscribing
anything TO fight them at this moment
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17
Able to Do II.

How many zones are there, johnny
six"
Indeed? Name them, please.
Arctic, antarctic, north temperate,
south temperate. torrid an canal.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

! Japan has just launched a bigger battle
/ ship than the Dreadnought. and Capt
/ Hcbscn not able 10 sleep % nights now,
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

An Indiana jury has just returned a
verdict for damages against an autOmO-
bilist who ran over a woman. Fortunate
is. the woman IS not sOjouruiug in the
happy automobiling grounds. and viii get
n chance % spend the money herself.
The Washington herald., 1906-11-17

country. what do you think Of this slmpli-
fed government. anyhow?