davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

By using the finger print method Cen
eral AinswOrth says there viii be no
more unknown dead" among the pa-
tion's soldiers. That's on the theory,
of course. that none or them will have
their fingers blown of
The Washington times., 1906-11-28
A Little of the Dressing, Please
@DDDO@
% @ 600

Sayl
The way they're gettin' ready
For
Thanksgiving Day.
All up and down
Our native
Land
Country and town
It's something
Grand.
Full many
Farmer
Is now at work
With aX as
ChaTmcr
To catch his turk,
The market places
Now are filled
With turkey birds,
Some freshly
Killed
And some kept,
BY greatest
Courage.
Lord knows how long
In storage.
AnG then
The housewives spry
AR busy now
A-EXin' up some
Pumpkin pie.
Gee
1t seems to me
That / can
See
The pumpkin uow.
a lusty feller. too,
i vow.
All golden yeIleT;
End then, of course.
There's cranberry sauce
And celery,
And half a dozen
Kinds Of
Pie.
oh, my.
The cake they make.
There's cider, too.
That's finer than the
tOstlicst brew.
And then there comes.
Our feast 10
Crown
That turkey bird
All roasted
Brown,
oh. say.
It's hard
To wait so
Steady
TIL Thursday
While they're
GetCIn' ready,
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

Colonel Bryan viii hardly indorse
Senator Morgan plea Tor n platform
plank declaring that the Democratic
party is a white mans party. Colonel
Bryan doubtless remembers what the
Hawaiian vote ala for him IN the 1900
convention.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

A Kansas City man is keeping a book
in which ne records the details of every
quarrel he has with his wife Visitors
viii be sure 20 find entertainment in
examination of his scrap book.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

President Smith. Of the Mormon
church, has been fined $500 for having
five wives. The cynjo viii be sure To
suggest that his OfenSe was sufficient
urrnf~lFueuf
The Washington times., 1906-11-28
BANDS.

Lets go and hear Sousa."
''All right; / just love a brass band"
How about a plain gold one2'
And they lived happily ever after
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

Neither w A Clark nor Augustus
Heinz viii be a eanIIIata for the United
States Senate from Mon-aua this year
and the Legislators NAV as we'll make
mp their minds TO IVORY along en- their
Ter diem and mileage.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

1t would be worth the price OF admis-
sion 10 witness the reception CarusO
viii get when he returns home. II Mrs.
Caruso patronizes o press clipping bu-
Ieau.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28
HE MOVES.

ale moves IN good society"
He doesn't look f. What does he
do@"
He runs a furniture van in the Mt
Pleasant district"
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

II is announced that the Thaw trial
viii not last more than three weeks. but
of course. it may be dragged out q little
70 furnish newspapers opportunity 20
use all Of Evelyn Nesbit Thaw's latest
photos
The Washington times., 1906-11-28
A GIFT.

MY vocal talent is a gift"
1T had To be-"
How sop
because NO one would think Of pay.
ing anything for IT,"
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

Senator Jem Davis, Of Arkansas, says
he is going TO create a row when he
gets into the Senate. His case will be
referred 10 the committee on hazing. of
which Serator Pettus IS chairman.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

This proposition to turn the pOstOfce
over 20 private concern, 10 be run on
business basis. might do, If something
equally as good is assured for the
chairman of the county committee, who
now gets the fourth class postofIice.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

Senator Plat declares that he never
felt better i'm his life This must be
taken as evidence that his marital af-
fairs are being handled satisfactorily
under the terms of the PIatt amend
mpuf
The Washington times., 1906-11-28
FEAR DOMINANCY OF JAPANESE,
VISION OF REAL YELLOW Peril

The country. for the most part,
has refused to become unduly ex-
cited over the japanese complica-
tion at San Francisco, looking upon
it as simply one of the many com
plications that must arise in the adj
ministration of the immigration
problem. Out in California, how
ever, the press takes a much more
serious view of the situation. the
San Francisco Chronicle Offering an
argument that the entire Pacific
coast country is in danger of being
dominated by the japanese. The
Chronicle says:
The mass Of the Hawaiian population
is nOn-C Caucasian. OF the -CauCasians
the IaDaEese is the dominant race No
human power can long prevent the as
similatiOn of the civilization of any
country TO that of the mass of its in
habitants. For all practical purposes
Hawaii Is today Japanese colony.
What we are lighting for on this coast
is that California and Oregon and
Washington shall rot become what the
territory Of Hawaii now is. II the jap
ancse are permitted TO come here freely
nothing can prevent that except Tevolu-
ton and massacre, which would be Ger
tain.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28
&sS4 Rlk8 9eoSi

Decide, decide, dumping,
My son John,
Went To bed with his
Stockings on.
But then, you know, he W8SI I
To blame
For he bet ON Yale at the
football game.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28
Dear Mr. Editor

Dear Mr.. Editor:
Enclosed herewith you Will find one Of
the chapters OF my masterpiece. Treat
II gently please. II is very sensitive. If
you want the entire book. speak quick
lV as l may awake before you make
your offer / am calling II THE Man
Who Dared II gives you quite a
thrilling sensation when you read H.
Hoping this will touch a vacant spot in
your palpitating organ. / remain.
WILLIE WINKI.E.
/ had come to a deep forest of electric
bushes. l picked off some currents and
satisfied my hungry thirst. The little
srassho 1pers were buslly making grass.
saw little hOp-bush playing hop
scotch OE the sidewalk. Suddenly I
heard a low gTOWl behind me I-tuTned
quickly TO discover that there was an
immense grizzly bear behind me. / was
quaking with fear The bear was ad-
vancing. / had no time TO run.
OF the bear l would be ia If he was
served up. ] hesitated no longer. Step
ping up 10 him quickly ] ran my hand
down his throat. turned him inSide-0ut.
SpTang up the nearest tree and pulled
The tree up after me.
XXIIII
The next day
Brightwood. j. c.
There's an editor over in New York
who is always trying 10 find out things
days ago he started this one out. us
all the world going insane We paid
no attention 10 his query, fFinkle. until
after we had read that chapter from
your masterpiece Then we answered in
the affirmative.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

Senator Dryden says he carries insur-
ance of many different kinds. He would
doubtless patrOniZe a company lIber-
ally that would insure his reelection.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28
HIGHER.

Ny thoughts are higher than dress.
Ia have you remember
"Oh, yes,' he replied: "I have no
doubt but what you are thinking OF a
new hat"
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

That Philadelphia man who is seeking
a divorce because he found a strange
pair of suspenders in his bed room has
something, at least. to hang a suit on.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

Senator Dryden says he carries insur-
ance of many different kinds. He would
doubtless patrOniZe a company Nber-
ally that would insure his reelection.
That Philadelphia man who is seeking
q divorce because he found a strange
pair of suspenders in his bed room has
something, at least to hang a suit on.
Harry New, as chairman of the Re
publican National Committee, says he
favors no Presidential candidate. That's
New
The Census Bureau has just published
figures showing how rich the country
was two years ago, but most of US have
spent what we had then,
Calve insists that her flance is a
blind man. Well. it would be better,
probably. for the average actress to
have a blind husDard
It is reported that they are burning
bacon for fuel in Mexico 1t makes most
OF us hot when bacon is burned.
Another difference between a grand
piano and a grand baby is that your
neighbor may have a grand piano.
Representative Littlefeld is with
holding his comment on the unanimous
reelection Of President Gompers,
A Kansas cook has come in for a
$500. 600 share of the Fair estate. and
will hereafter be referred TO as a chef.
Knocko. the Central Park monkey
that figured in the Caruso case, is dead.
Humiliation
Still, what we save on coal this year.
we lose on turkey.
No Thanksgiving host should offer
Senator Tillmau any of he dark meat
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

Harry New, as chairman of the Re-
publican National Committee, says he
favors no Presidential candidate. That's
New
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

Still. what we save on coal this year.
we lose on turkey.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

No Thanksgiving host should offer
Senator Tillmans any of he dark meat
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

The Census Bureau has just published
figures showing how rich the country
was two years ago, but most of US have
spent what we had then,
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

Knocko, the Central Park monkey
that figured in the Caruso case, is dead
Humiliation?
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

Calve insists that her fianCe is Il
blind man. Wen. it would be better,
probably. for the average actress to
have a blind husband.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

A Kansas cook has come in for a
$500. 600 share of the Fair estate. and
will hereafter be referred TO as chef
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

Representative Littlefield is with
holding his comment on the unanimous
reelection of President Gompers.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

It is reported that they are burning
bacon for fuel in Mexico. 1t makes most
OF us hot when bacon is burned.
The Washington times., 1906-11-28

Another difference between a grand
piano and a grand baby is that your
neighbor may have a grand piano.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-06-30
rHE CIRCUS.
Ia ls shs Fask~r Of Csst~ASSrasy
American bra as.aa-

No IsrotisIn i mare fascinating 10
TIE student If Eliza al,..than drama than
th. aiirsfI.I to trace it, splendid
achievements 10 il earliest sources
The quest leads .ale hack 10 primitive
folk Flays. To secular iibProvi>ations
ani n.s-silsi-val rsnderin-s Of sacred
sIovy. aud al study of perfected iyI.-s
shows ci.srIs l,-re atid there the de
tcrIHii,ase iHrSs,nee of these first at
,ei.lpt~.
IN i odd 1i4.4t mo- ou. has undertaken
a sitHiiaf Investigation OF our .Ameri-
caH ar..iia a sueeis-s of art 50 dis
tln-tive from drama proper that we
are I4oI only justified in seeking. but
are eomI.lis-i To seek partially diff
ferent origin The material drawn
from American life. developed by
American talent and appealing to
American audbences has peculiar char
acteristics pointing irresistibly In con
eeption. development and execution to
our nr~; artistic achievement. the
American circus. and inquiry as To
origins takes u~ back To our own
shall I say m.-liaevai:--days. whea T..
r. Rarnum WIS perfeeting the enter
tainment that WAS TO burst upon the
eyes Of an astouishe,l world
Though we -an harlly he said to
have evolved new species. we have
given such marked color.ns 10 existins Z
types Of comedy that we may fairly
claim III. credit az CREATING new va
rieti.s The local eolor play, the so
ciety play the melo.lrs,ma. the comic
opera. flourish as strictly national pro
ductIoDs upon our soil. lifrereniia lie
ing perhaps more firmk established in
the ca>. OF the first two than of the
others. In all motif. plot characteriza.
ton. setting. show unmistakably the in
eucnee II the great prototype already
suggested.
Circles and cir,'le- OF unrelated a"-
t!on. swift galloping from one 10 an-
other lest the audience should have
time TO think. the ruling out of cause
and effect in order that something. No
matter what. may happen every min.
.ute-d do no; our plots betray their ori.
gin In the planning of circus day
! venture to affirm that In no other
country can legs wriggie 50 swiftly.
can the swinging and ieaping Of this
trapcze performer go 50 alertiy and
firmly on. I would pit our contortion-
lists and cur hosp jumpers against
those Of all other lands. With equal
frmne~s assert that In no other
drama does action follow so swiftly. 80
uneonnects-il,. as in our own.-Scrib.
ner's
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-06-30

one often hears commeL,s passed ut-
on the administration Of the law 10y
local ma gistrafes. but while IL may
sometimes leave "a little to be desired
it Is not 50 rIarlngly crnde ~ II often
was Ia earlier times.
II is on record that the NIoniroS.
bailie. after hearing the evidence IN
a Ireach of the peacr case. fined both
the accused and all the witnesses "half
a Groom"
The witnesses naturally resented this
decision. hut the t,aiiie. with his mind
made up refused to bulge from the I,o-
sition he had taken M and defended II
with The remark: .
"It disna matter: he had nae business
there. Half a croon apaice.'
The sam. bailie was trying another
case In whieh difficulty arose regard
ing the nouappearancc Of a witness.
The court WAS Informed that the wit.
ness was defunct The magistrate.
who was self made and highly sue
ccssfui business man and who had
gained elevation To- the bench solely on
acs-ouut Of his command of "slller.
had never heard that particular form
applied To- death anil thinking IL was u
legal phrase. called out IN command
ing tones FIRING forward the de-
funct.' which brought down the house.
Dundee Advertiser.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-06-30

The arts ~ Juggling We're. rs has
teea proved by learned writer's, Of
high antiquity. The Iiirpini. who lived
near Rome. juinIs.d through burning
Goals: women In early times were ac-
custoined TO walk over burning Goals IN
CapJ,a,Iocia. and the exhibition Of balls
and ciirs is often mentioned In the
works of the nDcieuts. Itwas AS far back
as the tsird century tilat one ferm,is. or
firmius. who endeavorcsi to make him
self emperor Ia Egypt, suffered a smith
20 forge iron oD AN anvil placed ON his
breast. and rcpe dancers with balanc-
Ing polcs are mentioned 10y fetrcnlu-
aud others. while the various feats of
hoFSemanship exhibited In our rircnses
passed In the thirteenth century. from
Egypt 10 the Byzantine court and
thence over all Europe.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-06-30

When u division II called bell rings
TO enable all VI. P.'s TO collect from
the smoking room. the library. etc.
Then the outer door j. closed. aud tn.
speaker puts the question. There j. a
shout of Aye aud OF Mo- ou which
be declares that either the one or the
other has it, II this be challenged
be says. The ayes to the right. the
noes to the left" This means that
the ayes and the noes" 20 into re-
speetlve Hobbies.
This takes some time for they go
lei~urcly When at length they are
both within their respective pens all
the doors leading to them are closed.
and after n minute or two the one door
through which the prisoners In each
lobby are TO make their exit il opened.
Before reaching the exit they have tn
pass on either side Of a desk at which
two clerks sit and check on on a
printed list OF members those who
vote. After this they pass in single
fiIe through the exit door. which Is a
few yards from this desk. Just cut
side this exit door stand two teller~
one representing the ayes" and one
the noes Their business i~ to call
aloud one. two. three, four. and 50 ON.
as the members pass. Consequently
for each division four tellcrs are nee
essary. two for the aye" lobby and
two for the no lobby London Truth
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-06-30

Mistakes ia p1nctuation have often
led 10 ridiculous hlun.icrS. some time
ago in an article telling of the opening
of Il new hospital in New York the
writer WIS made to state That "aa ex-
tcnsive view j. presented from the
fourth story of the Hudson river"
The omission of n comma in a paper
announcing the death OF famous man
made the sentence read. Ills remains
were committed to that bourne whence
no Traveller returns attended 10y his
friends
The reputation OF Dr. Pond. AN emf
Beut thcologian. WAS nearly ruined
back in the iiffies Of the last century
by "a Typographical error. paper
came out with an account telling how
the divine had given series uf bee
tures ia Bangor. Me. to the effect that
theology IVES no science and that there
was no truth In il whatever. The
world rose in arms. aud the unfortu-
nate Fond was heapc,i with aiyise as
being gross inhdel la time 7he pa
per iu which the first account aI4,eared
printed a paragraph acknowledging
that the excitement was all caused by q
Typographical mistake. the typcsetter
having used the word theology instead
Of Fhrenology-
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-06-30

This i vump horn said the an.
tlquary. The price Is $40
The horn. very old aud weather beat.
en-. was over slx feet lons-loug and
stra ieht. like n coaching horn.
What was IL used fort" the reIorter
asked
"It was used TO call the people to
church on Sunday mornings" said the
antignnry .'In the olden times church
bells weren't common a- they are to-
day. They were 80 expensive that only
the richest churches could afford them
Tie poorer churches used vamp horns
instead
Every Sunday morning the sexton
Of tie average poo- church 10 years
ago stood On the church porch with n
six foot vamp horn az his lips summon
ing the people 9" worship with hoar~e
bIare~.
There are about two dozen vamp
horns foafing about the country. Their
ecclesiastical connection makes them
valuable TO sntiquarie<.-
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-06-30

Take horses. for Instance. IN hattie
After the FIRST shock Of wound they
make no sound They bear the pain
with a mute. wondering endurance
and IL al night you hear Wild groAn
from the battlefield il comes from
their loneliness. their loss 81 that hu-
man companioB>hip which seems at~o-
luteIy Indispensable to the comfort Of
donesticats-tl animals
The dog will carry q broken leg for
days wistfuIlv. hut uncomplainingiy.
The cat. injured by a stone iears in
silence pain which we could not en-
siure Sheep and other cattle meet the
thrust Of the butchers knife without a
sound- and even common peultry en-
dure intense ageuy without complaint
The pigeon fatally wounded. eies TO
sone fareH teugh and dies in silence
The wounded deer speeds To eeDe
fhiek brake and in pitifuI submis>ton
waits fer d<afh- TIE eagle. struck in
mitair fights TO the last aGainet the
fatal suA1sa>. Tbere h NJ ussss -
ssuod - paia- al - oe0nnt bsDA
nRveS faSes nv ~ syss - - ~
e1sse ever fAeo nRve4 - UneUVes
o0nA A-l0n1so MA
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-06-30
GAME DOGS AND GAME.
4 Remarkable i"ssssee ss sAs saas-
once Sf H~V0Atey.


The setter ate he mutton chop greed
lily. but lie would have none Of the par
fridge bones.
"A good game dog" said his master.
cant eat game. Its taste IL repug-
pant To him. This is remarkable. In
stance of the Influence OF heresiity.
Game dogs have been trained for
many generations not To eat the game
= the birds and rabbits and what not
which they bring hack To their masters
in their months. They have been train
ed to consider that the eating of such
game would lie disgrace and an un-
parsionable sin. the same AS hank
clerks have been trained to consider
that the porketing Of few dollars
from the millions they annually han
die would t~ n disgrace and = sin.
ard the result In the game dogs
ease has been that this moral abhor-
renee Of game. suggested To them by
their masters. has been transmitted in
Its passage down from enc genera tion
To another. into an actual physical ab-
horrcuc-. Ia the matter of game.
thanks to heret.ty. game dogS now are
never tempted. Tbry can't sin.
''It woaid if~ good thing for policy
holders II. In the same way, mans
moral disinciinaiion To- steal had been
changed by herediiy 10 an actual phys
ical aversion IL other peoples money.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-06-30

The Buchanan society. as the name
denotes. is composed Of individuals of
the name and elan of Buchanan and is
the Oldest named society in Scotland
II was instituted in Glasgow 50 far
hack as 1s2s- At a friendly meeting
of come of the name Of Buchanan held
there on March 3 of that year the fol
lowing proposal was made:
That the name of Buchanan. l~ing
now the most numerous name in the
place and many POOR boys Of that
name who are found TO ~ Of go<si
Renius- icing lost for want Of gopsi
education. fund might l~ beRun and
earrie<i On by fb> name. the Interest
ef which in time might enabSe sooe of
them TO he u>~fuI in cAurrh and state
Tia ssri<ty Ans siDce euoe sn With
aDHsrt uniasesyuVee9 surce~~. II hae
stsained . p~rieiso - hieA f1pnrsaa<~
81 = - eFeas Dssctscal uR--Isossn
Essss aaA 0uestasL
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-06-30
The FIRST BALLOON.
nsssis ef sh~ E,Ap~rise.ss - he
NSasHslkss BresA~ra.

Proceeding ofl the principle thai heas
tr air expands aud - isvome> lighter.
bulk for bulk than air ~ The orlsnary
tenip~rafurs the brothers Sfst.hen and
Joseph Nonfse,h.r riiied payer lag
with heated air. With ro>. 20 the cell
Ing of the room This preliminary sue
c~ss was rapidly followed up. aud TREY
gradually Increased the sine Of the hsi-
ioons exrerimsnt.i with until they
we're - satisfied with tilair progress
that in i1es they gave a pubic extibi-
ton, sendiES NJ, a linen balloon la, feet
in circumference. which MSS inflated
over n FIRE supplied with small bundles
Of chopps-I straw. The balloon succe<-i-
Cd beyond their utnc>t expectation. ansi
after rising To u height of over 600
feet II descended ten minutes after In
q Geld mile and q half away. The
next balloon carried a ear. In which
we're n sheep n cock and duck.
The success Of this further expert
nent induced NJ Pilatre de Rozier and
the Marquis d'Arixndes to risk their
live by making the fir-t ascent In the
bew aad wonderful machine. Their
balloon. which WAS forty-hve feet in
diameter and seventy FIVE feet high and
was inflated with hot air. passed over
Paris 10 the great establishment Of the
people. attaining an altitude of half n
mile Ballast was then for the first
time employed In regulating the as
eeniing power Of the balloon. The first
venture WIS followed by Others. and
l~ Ro.ier. the first to ascend. was also
the first {" ms-t his death la this man
her. having been Killed.. with com
panion. by the burning Of his balloon
near Bouiogue.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-06-30

Some years ago the engineers en-
ployed on the railway at Hagan. in
Germany ~ere puzzled by accidents
wtich always occurred at the same
place The government sent a com
nieeion to the SPOT. II was not. how
ever. until six months had elapsed that
the surface Of tlse rails appeared to be
cvFro<,~d ss il by acid to the extent Of
over hun.Irei yards The rail was
taken rp and broken. when IL was
found 70 he literally bon~ycomssei by
thin fhvadIike gray worm The
worm was styut two c~ntiBseters in
kNgsA and steut the size Of q email
knisfinx needle On the lad are two
5isfIe sacs. - eIan<I>. nIS<,1 with nsef
psWeSfuI csFrvpfve epcreffeo- which is
ejecsed every Ten minutes VIXEN the IN
0cf i> lying u.disssrs~dL This T4sitl
UA'en squirse1 upso Irvo reasess tAaf
nesaI ssff 81 spsaky aB1 - - evssr
- Fur1 wAen y - eastly - uleG0
GooRa ny - HssR Dnssst-l9n1so n
Glna<s1nG-
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1906-06-30

TIE expression under the rose or
sub rosa. 10 Indicate secrecy, originates
In the Greek NEUROLOGICAL story that
Cupid gave IfarpU-rate~. the god OF
silence. n golden rose. desiring him at
the same tine hot to betruy the amour
Of Venus. According to another ae-
count. the traitors against the Greek
states during the invasion Of Xerxes
held their meetings In an Atbenian ar
bor formed Of rose bushes. At Greek
and Roman banquets the guests were
always crowned with roses. and a
cluster of fhs-e hung above the ban
quoting table Ne. a sign that what was
esid In that uIsc~ should not he repeat
ID eisewh<rv-