Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-05-06

Once more ladies and gentlemen, let us
enter the big tent The performance is in
full blast. The educated elephants, the
trained donkeys, the pessmistic populists,
the painted clowns and the plastic poseurs
are going through their respective acts.
The three big rings are crowded.
I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, that this
is such mean afternoon for the show The
air is humid and clammy. The day is
gloomy and depressing. But 1t can't be
helped. We can't arrange things to suit
ourselves. Let US just make the best of it.
Let us remember the general fitness of
things. Let US pick out an appropriate
subject. Let us view Hull of Iowa.
Xxx
On previous occasions, ladies and gentle
men, when dallying with the performers in
the big tent, we have invariably spoken OF
the Honorable SO and So of Somewhere"
But suppose we cut out 1.-The Honorable
today. Suppose we let it slide. Repetition
is monotonous. Titles mean so little-some-
times. And besides ladies and gentlemen,
Mare Antony was in q class by himself.
For Brutus was an Honorable man." said
Marc-and everybody knew he was fooling
But our name isn't Marc. So let us omit
the honorable Somebody might think
we We're In earnest. Let it go as Hull of
Iowa.
Ladies and gentlemen, Hull of Iowa is
remarkable man. He is in a class by
himself 1t isn't on record that anybody
else is anxious to get in the same class
But that after all is beside the question
The fact remains, and an agile, squrming
fact constitutes a most interesting exhibit
Glance around the big tent ladies and
gentlemen. Give your Imagination free
rein. Speculate all you wish Note that
the floor is crOwded-except In one spot.
Note that there are merry groups of per
formers all around the big tent-except III
one place. Note that Hull of Iowa hes a
section all to himself.
Perhaps this is because Mr. Hull is n
great man. Perhaps it is because his col
leagues admire him. Perhaps II is be-
cause they respect him. Perhaps II is be-
cause they reverence him. But perhaDs II
isn't. Perhaps 1t Is for some other reason.
Iowa
l repeat, ladies and gentlemen. that Hull
OF Iowa Is remarkable man. I have never
known him very well. I don't think l ever
shall For this is free country There
are still certain inalienable rights left to
US. There are some personal privileges for
which we are truly grateful.
But know some folks who are acquaint-
ed with Hull of Iowa. They seem to know
him quite well. Only the other day 1 was
chatting in the lobby with one of them
when Hull of Iowa happened along.
Good morning" said Hull of Iowa, ex-
tending his hand.
How are you?" replied the man who
knows Hull of Iowa, shaking the extended
hand.
And Hull of Iowa passed along.
Excuse me-" said the man who knows
- f1s.I N,alr L..
Where are you gong?" I inquired in my
sweetly insistent tone.
II am going muttered the man who
knows Hull of Iowa, ito wash my hands"
IT'S funny how some folks think Of things
all of a sudden. IT'S remarkable how
quickly hand can become soiled. l re-
marked on It at the time. But the man
who knew Hull of Iowa didn't hear me.
He was running toward the wash room.
] was baffled. I was quite puzzled. But
then there are so many things l do not
understand.
Ladies and gentlemen. Hull of Iowa is
a humorist. He has the keenest sense of
humor l ever knew. He has a large resili-
ent funny bone He can see the bright
side of almost anything. List, while l ex-
plain u few.
Once upon q time Hull OF Iowa had a
quarrel with his sister. She didn't admire
the business methods of Huh of Iowa She
didn't care for the financial methods of
Hull of Iowa. But did Hull of Iowa get
mad? Did he answer back? Did he storm
up and down? On, no. On. dear, not he
just laughed.
And then he sneaked around and had his
sisters husband discharged from q little
government job IN Washington. And then
he laughed some more He was fust tickled
to death. He got red IN the face he was
50 amused For Hull OF Iowa has ~the
keenest sense OF humor. He can see the
bright side of almost anything. He is a
truly remarkable man.
Ladies and gentlemen. Huh of Iowa had
hardly done chuckling when something
else happened. He bumped his funny bone
-ftS ~.