The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1906-09-15

He-I asked her to tell me her age
and she said "23." She-Well-did you
Brooklyn Life.
why do you refer to his fortune al
hush money!" Wagg-He made 1t II
soothing syrup.-Philadelphia Record.
do you leave your valuables in thu
hotel safe when you go to summer
resort?" "Only when 1 leave."-Judge
Stella-Isn't that Mr.. Bachelor kline
and gentle? Bella-That's just tn,
trouble; he stands without hitching.-
Brooklyn Life.
THAT man has very shady business
record" why, what has he been do
ingY' HE puts up awnings. "-Balti
more American.
Saphedde A penny for your
thoughts, Miss Pert. Miss Pert-TheJ
are not worth it. l was merely think
ing of ou.-Philadelphia Record.
Husband (angrily)-I don't see why
1 ever married you. You are fool
Wife Calmly )-Undoubtedly. Other
wise l would have refused you.-Grit
On An Ocean Liner. The Wife
Shall 1 have your dinner brought tC
your room, dear? Husband (feebly)-
No. Just order it thrown overheard
Clipped.
"Out of a job, eh?" "Yeh, de boss
said he was losin' money on de t'ings
was maxim" Dat so? Wot was you
makin'?" Mistakes. "-Philadelphia
Press.
Dentist (prodding patients gum In
search of a fragment Of root)-Funny
l don't seem to feel it. Patient (ironi
cal in spite Of the pain) -You're in
luck Les Annales.
"Who is it that robs us while we are
asleep?' asked the teacher, trying to
get the class to spell the word burg
lar" DE gas meter!" shouted the boys
in unison.-ChicagO News.
Assistant-This poet says that the
last two verses Of his poem may be
omitted, if you think it Is desirable
Editor-rll do better than that. III
omit the whole poem.-Somerville Jour
nal.
'"They found a cigar in safe that
had fallen down five stories in San
Francisco and wasn't the least bit dam
aged by fire. Yes. I've tried to smoke
several of those cigars. "-Cleveland
Leader.
Really, you know, 1 don't think Miss
Summergal locks at all athletic
"Well?" well, you told me she was
always engaged in some college sport.
Stupid! l said engaged to- "-Phila.
delphia Press.
Mistress-What made you angry with
the doctor and tell him not to come
any more? Bridget-Because he said
he thought he would send me to a
warmer climate, and l am on ter him.
Los Angeles News.
do you think that wealth brings
piness?' NO." answered Mr.. Dustin
Stax 1T doesn't bring happiness. But
it gives a man little bit Of option
about the kind of worry he will take
Washington Star.
"Pa, what's the difference between a
profession and a trader" 1.-The man
who works at a trade quits when his
eight hours are up. The man who fol
lows a profession has to keep on until
his work Is done Chicago Record
Herald.
Don't you like to hear the wind
whistling through the woodY asked
the poetical one. WELL" replied the
practical one, III I'm out in the forest
I do; but If the wood Is made up into
a 81 flute, can't say that do."-Yon-
kers Statesman.
YES" said the condescending youth,
Il am taking fencing lessons" Good !''
answered Farmer Corntossel. II allus
said you was goin' to turn In am do
somethin' useful. What's your special
~ goin' to be-rail, stone or barbed
W1reY-WashingtO Star.
"Well, sir" brusquely inquired the
girls father, what can do for you p
"Why-er|I called, sir" stammered
the tlmid sutton, ito see if-er-you
would give assent to my marriage to
-FOUR daughter" mot a cent, sir! Not
1 cent! Good-day."-Scissors.
A school teacher, one, day during the
hour for drawing, suggested to her pu-
pills that each draw what he or she
would like to be when grown up. AT
the end of the lesson one little girl
showed an empty slate. Why" said
the teacher, isn't there anything you
would like to be when you grow up?''
YES" said the little girl, II would like
to be married, but don't know how to