davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29

ION my ship" said the captain. ac-
cordfng to the Minneapolis Journal,
t'the stewards, the first day out. go to
every passenger. and show just how
the life-preservers are put on.
1.-THE steward first says:
Excuse me, sir. but do you know
how to manipulate a ife-preserver2'
q Why, yes, I suppose So the pas
senger replies
Then sir, if you please says
the steward getting a preserver down,
and he hands 1t to the passenger to
put on.
.sThe passenger, eight times out of
ten. either puts the life-preserver on
wrong. or can't put it on at all So
the steward shows him how to do it.
He is Impressed and grateful
1.-THE life preservers. in a shipwreck,
would be of little use. for nearly all the
messengers would be unable to get into
them. There should be q maritime
law requiring a passengers drill with
the preservers every voyage, so that
each passenger in a catastrophe, would
know how to save himself with the
means placed at his disposal. As things
are now. there might as well be no
Iife-preservers on ships"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29

Speaker Cannon may have all the at
tributes OF car with which he is
popularity credited, but he seems to
know where to draw the line and ev-
erything indicates that he has drawn
it on the ship subsidy bill All the
pressure brought to bear upon him by
those who expect to profit by the meas
ure seems lacking in power to move
him and there is little doubt that the
measure will be laid away until there
has been another election.
The Republican margin of 10 which
the speaker looks for in the next house
might easily be turned to the other side
by the enactment of such a law in the
present state of public feeling
The New York Commercial. in an ar
ticle headed "Our un-American Speak
err" arouses the suspicion that unless
this bill is passed forthwith the COM
merce of the United States will go to
smash. The Commercial comments bit
terly upon the decay Of American lib
erty as revealed by the remark of the
president to a coterie of ship subsidy
visitors: -See the speaker Clearly,
government of, by, and for the people
is perishing from the earthl
In order to prove the imminence Of
the crash if this donation IS long de-
layed, the Commercial repeats the ex-
ploded story of Japanese purchases of
American vessels on the Pacific. This
is a pretty threadbare story, in Wash
ington. says the post of that city. if not
in New York. Inquiry developed long
ago that the Oceanic Steamship company
had not given an option on its steamers,
as reported, but had merely threatened
to do so if it did not get a subsidy from
congress. As for the Pacific Mail, it
was alleged that the japanese offered
100000 yen for that line-an absurdly
low price. which. if it was offered, must
have been rejected with amused con-
tempt The Pacific Mail and the Oceanic
are still doing business, and will con-
tinue in operation, because they are
making money. There is no occasion
for worry about them on the part Of
congress.
The sole remaining argument of the
ship-subsidy advocates, which is that
only 5 per cent Of American exports IS
carried in American bottoms, does not
appear to disturb anybody. American
money is so profitably engaged in pro
ducing the commodities of export that
it has no desire to enter into the less
profitable business Of ocean transpor-
tation. American capital is not COM
planning because it is thus prof1tably
employed at home. The startling fig
ures'' showing the relatively small share
of the United States in ocean trans
portation do not frighten, nor even in
terest, people who are making money.
A new and convincing argument is
evidently the first requisite of the ship
subsidy propaganda.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
CONGREss ND TIE COUNTRY.

CONGRESS AND THE COUNTRY.
Under the above caption the Chi
cago News reads a lecture to the high
est law making body in the country.
which is we'll worthy the consideration
of its members one and all. and espe-
cially those gentlemen who will ap-
pear before their constituents in Mo-
vember asking for approval of their
acts to the extent Of a reelection. The
News says:
Whenever the tail sets out in earn
est to wag the dog it is in a position
to learn something useful by taking
proper note Of the results Congress
sional Record please copy.
Congress is the tail. There is an
impediment in its wag for the reason
that it is strangely forgetful of the
part it was designed to play in the
economy of the republic. It is eter-
nally ambitious to run the show. It
habitually yearns to wag the dog. It
Is perennially hopeful Of accomplish
ing this. Frequently it cOnvinces it
self that it is wagging the dog, or, at
least, is just on the verge of wagging
him. This joyous delusion causes 1t
to keep itself unfurled proudly. It
tugs at the dog It persists in its
in wagging the unresponsive beast
Still, 1t continues to hope that it will
wag him some day
The duty of congress is to enact
legislation demanded by the people.
Its ambition is to mold the opinions
of the people. to render them respon-
sive to it's views and acquiescent in
its verdiets. The people never do re-
spond. they never do acquiesce, unless
congress stumbles upon the views
which they were ready to embrace
/ anyway. Congress, however, as gen
eral thing is strangely out of touch
with popular sentiment. Its absurd
/ belief that it makes popular senti-
ment renders it singularly incapable OF
/ knowing what the people really think
That Is why ii has to be forced to dc
/ its duty in so many instances under
the black frown of popular displeas-
ure. Not until it is convinced that
there is positively no escape, because
| all the avenues leading away from its
duty have been tried and found
blocked, will it consent to accept the
inevitable.
The lower house of congress. under
the personal direction of Speaker Can
non, who hugs the deiusion that the
people are hanging upon the words OF
his high-tariff takers. is devoting it
self at present to long speeches upor
the glories of the Dingley tariff
Tariff revision sentiment is abroad II
the land, and it is to be talked into {
state of coma If Uncle Joe can man
age 1t. These efforts. however. amour
to nothing. Meanwhile Legislation
waits The pure food bill in partieu
lar is showed into the background tt
success is thus imperiled, though tn.
sentiment of the country IS over
whelmingly in favor of the passage o
q good law against harmful adultera
ton Of foods. drinks and medicines.
The tail viii never succeed in waR
ging the dog, but it VIII never qui
trying
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe. I

EFrom the Atchison Globe1
Some people have a good time de-
handing their rights.
DO mflliners make as big profit on
hats as the women contend?
How many people promise you FISH
when they go fishing, and then disap-
point you.
If you want invitations. stand in with
the women folks: Mems invitations
don't count
A farmers idea of easy riches would
be to cut his farm up into town lots and
sell every one of them.
When horse driven by a woman
goes fast, it means that 1t sees mouth
full Of clover few yards ahead.
A brakeman lately attended a revival.
and said to the preacher: Il have no
sins you can do anything for
It is good thing TO remember that
a majority of your friends are your
friends because of much they don't
know
II it wasnSt for the love that babies
bring with them, how many Of the lit
tie red things would be kept over
night?
If a man makes a change in business
against his wife's wishes. and 1t prove
a mistake, how he does catch it for the
balance of his nfel
It is almost as hard to find ways OF
entertaining a visiting woman with a
baby, as it is to nit upon a pleasant
day for a picnic in the rainy season.
In going to visit a young girl take your
party clothes; If the hostess IS a woman
with family. take a kitchen dress along,
and If she IS a noted club woman slip
crackers and canned goods into your
trunk to eat in your room at nights &c
keep you from starving to death
An Atchison man always carries in
his pockets love letter his wife wrote
him when they were young. When she
goes through his pockets after night,
and finds that letter. her conscience
drags her down and she puts the letter
back and seeks no farther
They tell of a certain very stfngy bar
keeper who came very near treating a
man. Well, the barkeeper asked the
man. what are we going to have?" The
man was about to reply that he would
have beer, when the barkeeper answer
ed his own question: Rain, or more dry
weather.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
TFrom the Chicago News.l

IFrom the Chicago News.1
He who marries for fun may be
sorry that he won.
A good man hasn't much time to
waste on a good fellow
Many a good design has been turned
out by a mean architect
A man isn't necessarily athletic be-
cause he jumps at conclusions
Men are a good deal like dogs; the
louder they bark the less they bite.
Some people boast of taking time
by the forelock, but most of US are
lucky If we can clutch it by the back
hair
Fortunately but few men say what
they really mean-otherwise BACKED
eyes would be more common.
It is surprising how many really
good people there are in this wicked
old world-if one can take their word
for It,
Always listen patiently to the opinions
Of others: the chances are you win de-
rive no beneht therefrom, but it will
please them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
JAYHA WKER -yOEy

Sabetha has a driving club and it
will build a new barn at It's tracks this
year.
Joint row is the significant title
given to a section Of the city Of VIM
held.
The world is full of fools says the
Cuba Daylight, but the editor names no
names.
Nearly every Kansas town now boasts
of a citizen who went through the San
Francisco disaster.
Morris county has a farmer who it is
said can always bring rain simply by
starting to NOV his alfalfa meadow.
A fish pond in Jefferson county was
seined last week and 500 pounds Of
fish taken out, says the Farmers Vim
dicator.
The sand bank" IS no Joke out at
Belleville. A citizen Of that town has
one from which he has realized 81, 200
since February 1.
Seneca on looking around. discovered
that she had lot of good baseball
material going to waste, and promptly
organized a team.
Organizers for the American Society
of Equity, another scheme for eliminat-
ing the middle man, are operating in
Mcpherson county.
Mr. Wolf, of Hiawatha, has started
on his eleventh term as city clerk.
which leads the Democrat to call at
tention to the fact that there IS nc
bounty on his scalp.
Nickerson, says the Argosy, now has
a population Of LOIS, and increased
assessments $50, 125. The assessor
found 40 pianos, is organs, and 50 dogs.
There is a suspicion that some of the
dogs got away.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
kansas c0MMENT
SETTLED OFFICIALLY.

It seems to have been officially de-
termined that a man may scratch the
Republican ticket and still be a Re
publican The decision of the state
It decided in favor of seating as a
member Of this official board of thu
Republican party. W. D. Greason OF
the Paola Republican, who refused to
carry the names of some Republican
candidates at the head of his paper
and who has continually fought Tom
Kelly Kelly was in the committee
and protested. but Greason won out.
This seems to settle the fact that \
man or a newspaper may be Repub-
hcan in principle and yet refuse to
support Republican candidates whom
it deems unworthy and do this with
out going outside the party.-Manhat-
tan Republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
QUAKER REFLECrTONs.

Iron the Philadelphia Record.l
Even the sharp man may stack %
against a sharper.
Some fellows don't marry because the
girls father can't AFFORD It.
It IS a woman's privilege to change he1
mind and lie about her age
It is a poor consolation for a man to
know how he might have succeeded
The fact that riches never bring happi,
ness doesn't seem to influence people ia
remain @oor.
Matrimony is merely travelling In dcf,tie
harness. but it generally takes the form
of tandem.
A fool and his money NAV soor, he mart.
ed, but more OF them are Getting together
all the time.
When a man asks Won II Won have
change for five dollar bill be guarded IN
your answer. He may want to owe you
the five.
Buggins-" Bjones Is a most charnfna
fellow. but he Is pecaifar5' rTaiJ<a1of-
Yes YOU can tell him q story and Il
never reminds him OF anything
Nellie gave her an opaf enzazsmAn4
ring Belle-'Was it uniuckys7 Nell
4 should say It WIS. She discovered rha4
It was an initiation
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29


way she PASSED Barry and his bride 3 49,
fnr han6 ii hand toward the forlorn, taLn-
flsfs- 31ss7rn cabin they meant to make knsir
home she went BY them tapping IKE =
wet hen. and they 1saiea e ree9sni15 49, 4.
ed fsarfully ahead to where Barry saw .
fa4rfIfaz- figure approaching over the
crest al the hill. a spare. keen-eyed woman
with q red shawl about her shoulders.
SFre Fsscili faced the culprits gTinly.
iris q foine hour for ye to be coming
home p she cried sharply he supper
5eer ~ for the both OF ye this long tfzues
and 'tNiH be ruined entoirely.
she Rave MORA q piercing glance The
gazf lfrf1t of the aftergloW touched the
iris 4ace with a pale glory. IT'S q
slim creature We are. said Mrs OGiu.
her voice softeninR. " hen was guri
had bright eyes. too ana ne same eolor
O. hair All, Heaven be with thin ovid
ffr1asI s.'3E- long since was youngi She
turned from them abruptly, and went on
ahead leading the way home
me levers followed in happy dazes
too overwhelmed to question how such
fortune came about Did not ten yes
said the rapturous Barry, that Ioyers
luck is the greatest IN the WorruldZ =
copyright, 1906. by G. H. Surcltne.3
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
non,t Feed the Dog.

Much meat is to the sporting dog
nose what strong drink is to the detec-
tive's eye-poison. The beginner in the
field often does not realize this. and
nightly attributes his Indifferent luck
of the day to a scarcity of birds, when
generous portions of beef or pot liquor
are to blame OF course, when there Is
hard work to be done dog must be
well nourished, and its vitality kept up
by giving it light morsels at frequent
intervals, just as the man with the gun
has to be sustained by good wholesome
food. Two biscuits and water IN the
morning, a half biscuit several times a
day, and at night a hearty meal Of well
cooked vegeta bles or oatmeal porridge
form the best fare for a dog in the
field. Remember, however - give the
portions Of biscuits when water is near
by. since dry crumbs create thirst
that frequently handicaps a dog as
much as hunger.-Countrx Life In
America
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
EROA OTHER PENS
COMING FIGHT ON MoRMoN1sM

COMING FIGHT ON MORMONISM.
By a vote of to 5, after three years
of much too prolonged vaeillation and
evasion, the senate committee on privi-
leges and elections has voted recon-
mending to the senate that it expel
from the senate Utah's senior senator,
Reed Smoot. Within two weeks ii
will be known how the senate views
this matter, which for various reasons.
political as well as sectional, has been
dragging along since 1903 1t is not
denied that as member of the senate
Mr.. Smoot has made a fairly creditabIe
record: the point is, whether he could,
in view of his oaths as a Mormon off,
cial and his loyalty to a church which
still defies federal law prohibiting
polygamy, also be loyal to his oath as
a senator of the United States. Anti
Mormon sentiment in Wyoming re-
Gently has become strong enough to
cause the arrest in Worland of Bishop
Jolly, at the head of the Mormon In
terests of the state, the charge being
polygamy. President Roosevelt also
has been induced of late to withdraw
a nomination. recently sent to the SEN
ate, of a Mormon ecclesiastical official
to a civil office. These are but the
preliminary skirmishes of a coming
battle on a large scale.-Congrega
tfonalist.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Mr.. Rockefeller. who is about to cross
the ocean, probably will be warned by
the recent experience of young MI.
Thaw, of Pittsburg, who says he lost
100000 in poker game.
One of the demands which is now
pressing for attention is the one for a
sane and safe Fourth of July. celebra-
ton.
The latest thing in girafres is one with
a short neck which is said to have been
found in the Congo country.
immigration from Ireland is said to
be on the decline. What will this eoun-
try do for policemen?
Louisville. KY. drug stores are get
ting even on their entire existence. The
lid has been closed down on Sunday
and the handles removed from the
pumps.
Col Bryan may be able to do some
thing toward Strengthening out the
Russian situation when he arrives at
st. Petersburg for which place he was
headed when last heard from He
pacified the United States senate on the
Philippines business.
Sioux City has a policeman 90 years
old. This fact illustrates what plenty
OF rest and sleep viii do toward pro-
noting longevity.
Jerome's opinion that It was not
wrong for Perkins to contribute $4S. 900
of Insurance money to the campaign
fund has been sustained by the appel
late court The New York district at
torney seems to be most successful
when he takes the side Of the de-
Tense.
The sugar trust has seized upon the
psychological moment in the fruit pre-
serving business to advance the price
of its product.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
WHY He HANGS on.

Senator Buttons ANNOUNCEMENT that
he viii resign his seat If the supreme
court shall stamp its last act in his case
as final, is most timely It would be
either that or the senate would Gust
him and a resignation would be less
painful And speaking of Burton, a
politician gave two reasons yesterday
for the persistency with which Burton
clings to his place in the upper branch
of congress- One is that he needs the
money The other is that he hopes to
retain the seat until the time for the
election of his successor. and make i'm
possible the appointment Of Bristow or
some of Burton's enemies, thus depriv-
ing them of any show of prestige that
would come to them through having
served the remainder of an unexpired
term.-Leayenworth Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
How Col LumpIzin and the Senator
Fixed the Reformer.

There was no applause after the
speech. The people kept their places
until Senator Shark stepped from his
box to the stage and CALAMITY congrat-
ulated the orator. The senator seized
both hands and shook them. The
young man flushed with pleasure q t
this recognition of his genius, and then
the crowd found its voice and cheered-
The senator also insisted on being pre-
scented to Mrs. Graham and the boy.
As he placed his fatherly hand on~the
little cripple's head, I thought I saw a
faint glow of color on the thin cheek.
AFTER the meeting" continued Col.
Lumpkin. Il took supper with the
senator at his club. What do you
think of him? I asked.
"A bright youngster,' said Senator
Shark as he slipped his Madeira. He
must be stopped
{" of course I replied. But how
are we going to do it2 We can't burn
him at the stake as our prototypes
might have done a few centuries ago.
Our prototypes were bunglers,
said Senator Shark. Their methods
were crude. It doesn't pay to burn a
mans body. It leaves fragments of
bone to be cherished as relics. or ashes
to be scattered and sown by the winds.
Experience shows that seeds of that
kind have most persistent vitality.
The proper way is to burn the soul.
1t Is q perfect gas, you know, and
therefore burns without residue. AS
he said this he rolled me a slow saurian
wink through his wine glass that al
| most made me shudder-
"A few days after that it was an
nounced that Graham had been nomi-
mated to fill the new chair of peripa-
tetic pedagogics in Shark university,
and that he was about to sail to Europe
to study the methods OF public instruc-
ton under the empire of Charlie
magne." so he sold out. did he.'
exclaimed Comegys in disgust.
Not at all. said Colonel Lumpkin.
1.-THE hook was so we'll covered that
| he could not see It, He didn't feel it
until after he had gcrged the patti
From "Martyrdom a Ia Mode" by
John HfcAuley Palmer, in the May Nc
L fsllrrets
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29

Vice President John P. Green of the
Pennsylvania Railroad company, de-
clares that the Carnegie Steel company
received large rebates from the rail-
road prior to 1893. These rebates were
In addition to the unduly high protec-
tive tariff duties of which the company
had the benefit in common with other
similar corporations. It is no wonder.
says the Pittsburg Post, that some OF
our manufacturing corporation mag
mates should have grown immensely
wealthy in short time. Protected
from foreign competition by high tariff
duties and from domestic competition
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
New EngIand's Daring Fishermen.

Every Newfoundlander has the pro-
foundest admiration for these Yankee
hsheTman,-hrst, because of pride OF
class which makes sailormen brothers
the world over: then, because of the
respect for Seafaring courage Which
their exploits evoke in a people them
selves renowned for their nautical
prowess; and, finally, because Of actual
kinship, great numbers of the fisher
folk who crew these American dshboats
being natives of this tHTerranovan isle
The New England fishing feet cOmpris-
es about 400 vessels crewed by some
5000 men, and probably one-fourth are
New Foundlanders, and as many more
NovaScOtians. and the remainder
Scandinavians, Portuguese, French, and
native-born Americans. Probably none,
among all those who go down to the
sea in ships, follow an occupation so
surcharged with hardship and peril so
nerVe-racking and strength-snapping,
so pregnant with disaster and death,
as that in which those men are engage
ed. The great majority of the fleet
operate along the Atlantic seaboard.
from the Delaware capes, where they
first strike the elusive mackereI north
ward past the dreaded shoals Of
Georges, with its cusk. bake, and
haddock. to the famous Grand Banks
Of Newfoundland, the home of the
lOrdly cod. This is an ocean area every
mile of which is crossed by steamers
great and small,-liners, freighterr
trampers, and vagabonds, inbound and
outbound, on all kinds of courses. The
fishing grounds are often yelled in fogs
or swept by storms. during which con
ditions, or in the gloom of night, coll
lisions are frequent, and the racing,
towering monsters run down and shat
ter with their steel-clad prows the
midget fishing smacks which may lie
across their road. Farther north the
peril of iceberg and foe is encountered
by the schoOners which work their way
up toward Labrador and then along to
distant Greenland for fares of the tasty
halibut which they wrest by sheer
pluck and daring from the frigid polar
seas. facing the menace of an arctic mir
amid the foes or a stroke from a pom
derous berg as it steals silently past
on the breast of the south-moving cur
rent.-FrOm From New England
Deep-Sea Fishing interests by P. T.
McGrath, in the American Monthly Re-
view Of Reviews for May
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-05-29
THE sNAKEBrTE.


Once us boys was a-gOin TO
Play ball an take a SWIM
An, pa he wanted me TO do
A dozen things for him.
heard EN- Whistlin' to come,
zsut pa kept right in slshts
Then I told pa I S suffeTin from
What must be a snakebite-
I list begged pa to let me go
An nut mud on it thick
I never seen pa worry So
lie says; Come with me, quiczl
He took me IN the house an said.
Now undress right away
Put on this mighty, get in bed.
An jist lie still all day."
Pa called the boys an told 'em that
He's worried about me;
He let 'em have my gloves an bat
An dosed me with sage-tea.
Ma brought my supper on a tray,
Is mad enough to fight!
That was the last time. must say,
1 suffered from snakebite.
ID. A. Ellsworth.