Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-09-17
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ana she said I'd. She-Well-did you
Brooklyn Life.
"Why do you refer to his fortune a.
hush money! Wagg-He made it IL
soothing syrup.-Phladelph Record.
do you leave your valuabes in the
hotel safe when you 60 to a summer
resort?" only when leave" Judge
Stella-Isn't that Mr.. Bachelor kline
and gentle? Bella-That's just tn.
trouble; he stands without hitching.-
Brooklyn Life.
That man has very shady business
record" why, what has he been do
ing?' He puts up awnings. "-Balti
more American.
Saphedde - A penny for your
thoughts, Miss Pert. Miss Pert-They
are not worth it, l was merely think
ing Of you.-Philadelphia Record.
Husband (angrily)-I don't see why
I ever married you. You are fool
Wife Calmly -Undoubtedly. Other
wise would have refused you.-Grit
On An Ocean Liner. The Wife
Shall l have your dinner brought t(
your room, dear? Husband (feebly)--
No. Just order it thrown overheard
Clipped.
"Out Of job, eh?" "Yeh, de hos.
said he was losin' money on de things
was MAXIM" Dat SO? Wot was yor
makin'?' Mistakes. philadelphia
Press.
Dentist (prodding a patients gum II
search Of fragment of root)-Funny
l don't seem to feel it. Patient (lroni
cal in spite Of the pain) You're il
luck Les Annales.
"Who is it that robs us while we are
asleep" asked the teacher, trying Il
get the class to spell the word burg
lar" "De gas meter!" shouted the boy.
in unison.-ChicayO News.
Assstant-This poet says that the
last two verses of his poem may bt
omitted, if you think it is desirable
Editor-I'll do better than that. II
omit the whole poem.-Somerville Jour
nal.
'rhey found cigar in safe tina
had fallen down five stories in Sal
Francisco and wasn't the least bit dam
aged by fire." Yes, I've tried to smoke
several of those cigars. "-Clevelant
Leader.
Really, you know, don't think Mis-
Summergal looks at all athletic.
"Well:" well, you told me she wa!
always engaged in some college sport.
stupid. l said engaged to-. "-Phila
delphia Press.
Mistress-What made you angry will
the doctor and tell him not to come
any more? Bridget-Because he sale
he thought he would send me to {
warmer climate and l am on ter him.
Los Angeles News.
do you think that wealth brings
piness?" NO" answered Mr.. Dustin
Stax. 1T doesn't bring happiness. Blu
it gives man little bit Of option
about the kind Of worry he will TAKE
n"-Washington Star.
PA, what's the difference between {
profession and trader" 1.-The MAJ
who works at trade quits when hi,
eight hours are up. The man who fol
lows profession has to keep on unit
his work is done. "-Chicago Record
Herald.
Don't you like to hear the vino
whistllng through the wood?" asked
the poetlcal one. "Well," replied the
practical one, "if I'm out in the forest
| do but If the wood Is made up into
A 50 flute, can't say that | do."-Yon
kers Statesman.
YES" said the condescending youth
Il am taking fencing lessons" Good
answered Farmer Corntossel. Il allus
said you was goin' to turn in an dc
somethin' useful. What's your special
~ goin' to be-rail, stone or barbed
wire p Washington Star.
well, sir" brusQucly inquired the
girls father, what can l do for you?'
'Why-er-I called, sir stammered
the timid sutton, ito see if-er-you
would give assent to my marriage tc
your daughter" Not cent, sir. Not
cent. Good day. "-Scissors.
A school teacher, one day during the
hour for drawing, suggested to her pu
pills that each draw what he or she
would like to be when grown up. Al
the end of the lesson one little cir
showed an empty slate Why" safe
the teacher, isn't there anything yor
would like to be when you grow up|
Yes" said the little girl. II would like
to be married. but don't know how t