Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1906-06-14

Come on, Blue Bells of Shetland. We
like to read yer posses. We haven't
herd frum you in long time. We
dom no whuther you are ded or a live.
If you are ded write and tell us all
about it and what kind of time you
air havin. If You air Twin still vet
write to the Muse and say so.
Ticks ticks (! ticks!!l So many
ticks here we don't no what to do.
The COW tick, dog tick, sead tick, and
the polly tick. The polly tick bothers
us morn all the rest.
How to kiss a girl and be perlite
about it.
First-Use Ediquite.
Seckerent. Don't make that awful
fuss like hog eating slop.
Thirdly. BE jentlemoney about it.
4thly Make fuss with your lips
like man when he means for his horse
to go faster.
5th. Now, let her no you are goin
to kiss her by saiyn, docs yer love
yer huney2" Then if she says, Yep"
place the toe of your rite foot
ed shoe against the toe of her left shoe.
Now, jently put your rite hand on her
left jaw and yer left on her rite jaw.
Now kinder squeeze her jaws til her
mouth looks like white pet rabbit
mouth. Now side track her nose with
yer own nose and tell the horse to get
up rite keen like yer meant bust
ness and the joblis well done. If she
says, You horid thing you, that
means try, try agin.
I believe Gofetchit lied when he
told about that hoop snake he saw
in Texas He said he was hoeing cot
ton for a man inTexas and seen hoop
snake comm coroalin down the same
row he was holm in. He said he set
his hoe down in the middle of the row
and stepped over in the next row and
when the snake got there it struck the
horn in that hoe handle and in less
than mint that hoe handle sweeled
up as big as his body and busted. So
I believe he is lying, don't you?
Never buss your gal in kompany.
Its sweet but still folks will talk about
it, and make sour thing out of a
sweet one.
like to hear from everybody. Come
on all we Mark Twains. and Bill Nyes
and other things. Remember such
folks as us is what made MISSOURI
famous.
Owing to the illness Of my child l
failed to write last two weeks.
In repli to the spesimen of the agri-
culture of lokus in last week issue |
will give that department the best |
IDEAS | can in deskribin the varments.
In the first place there is heaps of To-
kusses here but don't no whuther
tina are 7, II, n or III year lokusses
or not. | never asked them their age
but they have got horns on their he'd
and won on their wings, nails on their
toes, teeth in their mouth, and lin
splitter on their stummick and they
amt got no inside fur they are hollow
and that is what tina live on, when
they get hungry they hollow That
feeds them. When they get sleepy
they hollow, that sleeps them. When
they get sick they hollow That kures
them. When they want to make a
man kuss they hollow. That makes
him kuss big. And when they want
to die they hollow and they hollow af-
ter they have done been ded six weeks.
Now, that is all no about them, but
if you want to no more about them
write to our State Bug Commissioner,
"Gofetchit. He is the bug man,
been in the business all his life. Now,
l hope you will be we'll pleased with
this information and send me S25. 90
for same SO / will stop by remainin
yer very umble sarvent tel l git the
S25. 90. Respectfully send the money
by P. O. order and be shore and send
| it to DOFETCHIT.