davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

Seemed seized with commissions.
ping marine spike in his teeth
climbed the weather rigging. Just
as he swung himself over the top he
lost his hold and fell like a plummet
into the sea.
Man overheard yelled ONeill,
who was at the wheel, and he flung a
life buoy over the rail.
The skipper was on deck in one
jump.
'tHeave her to-" he shouted.
Braces" came sharp and curt from
the mate, and the men hurried to obey,
casting glances aft.
The brig was making good Roadway
The wind was fair and Captain Newton
was making all the use he could of it,
having out studding sails and bringing
her to the wind with all this canvas
flying took time. Two men started to
lower the boat, but it was full of wood
and that took time. 1 glanced over
the taffrail, and saw no trace of Mic.
ola.
He's goner," exclaimed Mr..
Buck.
No. there he isl said sharp-eyed
O'Neill. pointing over the lee quar-.
ter, and there, sure enough, was a
black speck, the head of Nicola. He
was swimming but slowly and labori-
.ously.
The brig had been brought to and
the boat unloaded, when cry came
from the poop.
Hi. hi! Shark, see him."
Abeam was the triangular fin of a
shark cutting the water as it made a
straight course for Nicola.
Its all I'M" muttered the mafa-
nothing can save him now"
There was a splash, and to our as
constituent Bradd had leaped over
board and was swimming fiercely. He
lay a course which must bring him
between the shark and Nicola.
Gall darn it," snarled the captain;
two men instead of one gone. and
who'd have thought of Bradd going
over the rail for the dago.'
never saw a man swim as did
Bradd- He seemed to grasp the water
and pull himself along, but when our
eyes fell on that ominous fleeting fin
we felt it was merely the sacrifice of
one mans life to save another's Hav-
ing laid a right angled course Bradd
gained on the shark. which was
swimming in a straight line for the
italian and was a cables length
ahead of the fish when he reached a
line with the slowly swimming Nicola
and then he seemed seized with con-
vulsions- He splashed the, water with
his hands and legs, reminding one of
the actions of a duck which has
reached a pond after long, dry land
journey His motions were so violent
that the sea frothed about him, and
the shark was evidently as surprised
at these evolutions as was the crew of
the Apollo. Obviously they were not
to his taste. for he darted. on in an
opposite direction By this time the
boat had been lowered and in q half
hour both men were aboard the brig.
81 didn't think you were that big a
fool to risk your life for dago who's
hungry to put a knife in you," re-
marked Ned, reproachfully
Risk" exclaimed Bradd; there
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
SHIPPED THE GENUINE ARTICLE.
South CaroIinian Had Got Whisky In
tended for Dispensary.


tended for Dispensary.
When a South Carolinian wants
good whisky he does not as a rule
buy it from the South Carolina State
Dispensary, but orders it direct from
the distillery, the whisky being deliv-
cred to him by express in what is
termed in the State -four full quarts"
A week or two before Christmas a
well-known man in the central part of
the State ordered -four full quarts, .
and on it's receipt was surprised to
find out that it was not as good whis-
ky as he had been getting.
Accordingly the man most concern
ed wrote letter to the distillery, tell
ing them that a mistake had undoubt-
eddy been made. A few days later
he received the following self-explan-
atory letter:
Dear Sir:-Yours of the sixteenth
instant to hand, and we hasten to
apologize for an error of one of our
shipping clerks. The clerk in ques-
ton expressed to you four full quarts
of the brand you ordered intended for
the South Carolina Dispensary. By
express to-day we send you four full
quarts of the genuine article. Again
craving your pardon for the error and
soliciting your further favors, we beg
to remain,
yours very respectfully,
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

Let him go, To hadeS with his
bloomin' knife. Let the dago loose,
and Tom Bradd struggled to free him
self from the grasp of two brawny
sailors who held him. Mr.. Buck, the
lean. sinewy mate, had his arms in
terlaced about Nicolas waist utterly
unmindful of the cruel looking stiletto
shaking in the powerful Italians hand.
1t was the setting of a tragedy, an
interrupted one it's true, but like flesh
violently chafed the blood was SO near
the surface that another touch and
1t would begin to flow.
Captain Newton advanced to the
main hatch, his long, patriarchal beard
falling to his waistband. His shaver
upper lip twisted as he talked very
like unto that of a dog when he
snar1s.
stop it, gall darn We, stop it." he
Numbered. I'm short handed now,
and I won't have any man killing on
this here hooker. Batten down your
feelin's, you two fellers, till you get to
Rio Grande, and then you can chop
each other into bits and devil take
what's left, but there's to be no
chopin on the Apollo"
His words were unheeded and the
two bloodthirsty men still struggled
10 get at 0dcn OIQor-
Now mark you,' continued the cap
tain, eff you're bound to fight, make
a two-man killing of it, for, by the
Lord. I'll throw the man that's left
alive over with the man that's killed.
shall never forget that scene.
Strife incarnate threatened on that
little chip of wood on the mighty ocean
and all around utter peace. The sea
was barely rippled by the soft trade
wind which distended the sails as if
caressing them and above a sky I'M
blemished by the tiniest cloud. 1 was
new to the sea and it's ways and mar
veled that Captain Newton did not
iron the men and confine them in
the peak, but he seemed to feel a
confidence in his management which
was proved of weight by the result,
for his cold-blooded declaration had
the effect on the two would-be COM
batants of bucket of cold water on
two fighting dogs. The skipper meant
what he said and would carry out his
meaning to the letter The law in
those days was all in favor of the
officers and Jacks statement was as
feather against an anchor Captain
Newton would not hesitate to carry
out his threat for fear of legal punish
ment
The two sailors released Bradd, who
recommended the work he had stopped
to fight Nicola, and the Italian, find
ing himself free from the mates hold,
walked dignifedly forward and went
below. The crisis had been passed,
temporarily at least.
What began the feud between the
men no one knew. 1t existed when
they shipped in New York and they
bad spat hate at each other during the
voyage, but this was the first time
an actual collision had been threat
ened.
Its only put off, remarked old
Ned. oracularly; "blood1l fly yet"
eff Tom ever gets past the dago's,
knife. good-by Italian, said sailor
But he's got to get by it, retorted
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
Some French "euIIs.u

Some amusing instances of French
bulls are given by 1T. P.'' The fol-
lowing sign is said to have been OBJ
served on a Paris shop:
''Fabricant des Meubles Anciens,' .
and not far from it, on the same
street, the sign:
Preparation des Bebes Incassables. .
The following verbal .sbu11'' is cred
tied to a Frenchman who, while prom
enading with a friend, noticed a pass
ing cab drawn by a pair of horses,
one black and the other white.
Look" said one, fyou don't often
see a pure white horse and a pure
black one harnessed together
That's So" was the response do
you know why the black horse is on
the near side?"
NO.
s'Why, they always put the horse
that isn't the same color as the other
on the near de.'-Harper's Weekly
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

To the housewife who has not yet
become acquainted with the new things
of everyday use in the market and
who is reasonably satisfied with the
old we would suggest that a trial OF
Defiance Cold Water Starch be made
at once. Not alone because 1t is guar
anteed by the manufacturers to be SUI
perior to any other brand. but because
each l0c package contains Is ozs-.
while all the other kinds contain but
u ozs. 1t is safe to say that the lady
who once uses Defiance Starch will use
no other. Quality and quantity must
wi
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
BABY COVERED WITH SORES.
Would Scratch and Tear the Flesh I'm
less Hands Were Tied-"Wou!d
Have Died But for Cuticura."

Would Scratch and Tear the Flesh I'm
less Hands Were Tied-"Wou!d
Have Died But for Cuticura."
"My little son, when about a year
and a half old, began to have sores
come out on his face. 1 had a physi-
clan treat him, but the sores grew
worse. Then they began to come on
his arms, then on other parts of his
body, and then one came on his chest,
worse than the others. Then 1 called
another physician. Still he grew
worse At the end of about year
and a half of suffering he grew so bad
1 had to tie his hands in cloths at
night to keep him from scratching the
sores and tearing the flesh. He got to
be a mere skeleton, and was hardly
able to walk. My aunt advised me to
try Cuticura Soap and Ointment.
sent to the drug store and got a cake
of the Soap and a box of the Oint-
ment, and at the end of about two
months the sores were all well. He
has never had any sores Of any kind
since. He is now strong and healthy.
and 1 can sincerely say that only for
your most wonderful remedies my
precious child would have died from
those terrible sores. Mrs. Egbert
Sheldon, r. F. D. No. 1. Woodville.
Conn. April %, 1905"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
Not Mistaken.

The story is told of a college pro-
fessor who was noted for his concen-
tration of mind.
The professor was returning home
one night from a scientific meeting.
still pondering over the subject. He
had reached his room in safety, when
he heard a noise.
rs some one there?" he asked.
no. professor" answered the in
truder under the bed. who knew of
the professors peculiarities.
That's strangei l was positive
some one was under my bed" conn
mented the learned man.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
STILL AT 1T.

STILL AT 1T.
I am reading, I am reading,
/ am reading night and day,
I am reading Roosevelt's message
In steady-going way.
I have knocked off other duties
AS, indeed, found / must;
And I'm going to read that message,
BY the Great Horn Spoon, or bust.
I am reading, 1 am reading,
1 am reading-hear me shout;
And 1 hope to have it finished
Ere he gets the next one out
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
May Care for Lepers.

DR.. Walter R. Brinckerhoff, instruc-
tor in pathology at the Harvard medi-
cal school, has been offered the posi-
ton in Hawaii to take charge of the
United States leper sanitarium, which
IS to be established there. He gradu-
ated in the Harvard medical school in
1902, and is only 81 years old.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
Ought to Have Stayed out.

1.-THE Kansas City Court of Appeals
has decided that being hit with brick
In fight is not an accident, and that
an accident policy holder cannot col
lect damages for it,
Perfectly right, of course. Being
ait with a brick in a fight is not an
accident; it is bad Judgment
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
WINTER WEAKNESS
Or. Williams Pink PiIIs tho Tonic
That Most People Need for
Blood and Nerves.


That Most People Need for
Blood and Nerves.
In winter the air Of the close rooms in
which we spend SO much of the time
does not furnish enough oxygen to the
lungs to burn out the foul matter in the
blood. In the cold season we do not exer-
cise-as much and the skin and kidneys do
not throw off the waste matter as freely
as usual. The system becomes overloaded
with poisonous matter, and too feeble
to throw it off! Relief can be had only
through the use of a remedy that will
promptly and thoroughly purify and
strengthen the blood, and the one best
adapted for this purpose is the great
blood tonic known as DIR. Williams Pink
Pills.
"They acted like magic in my case, %
said Mrs. Clara L. Wilde, Of No. 377
Farnsworth avenue, Detroit, Mich. 81
was weak and thin and could not sleep.
My stomach and nerves were ont of or
der. I can't describe how miserable I
really was. I dragged through six
months of feebleness, growing weaker
all the time until finally hadn t strength
enough to leave my bed
''Then glad day came, the day when
began to take DIR. Williams Pink Pills.
They made me feel strong right away
My appetite came back, took on flesh
and the color returned to my cheeks
People wondered that these pills did for
me what the doctors couldn't do. took
only six boxes and then I was perfectly
well. If I had not found this wonderful
remedy surely think that must have
wasted to death. Believing firmly that
these pills saved my life by the strength
which they gave me at a critical mo-
ment, unhesitatingly recommend them
to others"
DIR. Williams Pink Pills contain no
stimulant but give strength that lasts.
They may be obtained at any drug
store
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
Might Have Been Worse.

"Mr. Cartridge, we are obliged to
dismiss you,' said his employer; you
were intoxicated last night"
Thank you, SIR
For WHAT"
You have spared me the easy and
natural gag about being loaded and
fred And l have to admit being
half shot"
He drifted out looking blank. but
got a high ball at the corner
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
Above Board.

MAY 1 ask if 1 am in the market
Tor a bid for your affections?" asked
the youth who did everything in a
buSinesSlike way.
You must go to par before 1 can
take any stock in your Offer" an
swered the dutiful brokers' daughter.
Baltimore American.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
Not BIuHed.

mot use talking to me-" said the
man when the Insurance agent had
paused for breath. 81 have a leaky
lung, a bad heart and a stomach that
can't digest a poached egg"
"All the more reason for my talk
ing" replied the agent. why you
might die before you could my the
first premium"
In justice to the agent it must be
said he knew the man was lying and
was healthy as a pig.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

Ned, land it's ten to one he'll have .
hole in him before he does-''
Bradd was a stockily built man and
good sailor. While he impressed
one as a good-natured man, one could
see that he would make an ugly foe
when aroused O'Nein very graphical
ly expressed the crews sentiment as
to Bradd. Toms a good fellow to
have on the yard arm wild We in a
gale and bad one to have agin We in
a fight"
It's an uncomfortable thing to have
an enemy ON shipboard. On land one
can avoid him. but aboard ship one
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
Food for the Favored Few.

"Your predecessor" said the can
nibal chief, attempted to interfere
with our ideas on health food"
"Ahi" exclaimed the missionary.
'then he was not POPULAR"
"Oh, no; you couldn't call him popu-
lar. There wasn't enough of him to
go round among our people"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
Generous.

First Gentlemen beg ten thou
sand pardons for not having paid
that So Here it is.
Second Conference.-The thousand
five hundred pardons will be enough
-5 per cent off for cash.-Evening
Mail.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
WITH THE aUMORISTS
iiRRicHT SAMPLES OF THE WORK
OF TESTERS
Mrs. krusty's Cause for Complaint
WiIIie's Guess Pretty Nearly Cor
rect-one Insurance Agent Who
Was Not to Be BIuffed.


Amending It.
You got a typewriter copy OF
this speech in advance, didn't you ?"
asked the reporter of the party or
gan.
Yes" replied the reporter of the
opposition paper, "the speaker sent
it in, even to the cheers and APP
plause' in parentheses.''
We'll, then what are you taking
down now?"
1.-The cheers and applause and
substituting 'sneers' and -groans.'"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

eats, sleeps and works with him day
after day and may feel the knife
slipping into his ribs some dark night
But Bradd treated Nicola with con-
tempt and made no effort to keep out
of his way night or day, despite the
crews warnings.
There were several days of bright
sunshine, calm sea and cloudless sky,
and on one of these mornings the
mate was watching the washing down
of the deck from the break of the
poop. The ho1ystoning finished, he
ordered Nicola to some duty on the
fore-topgallant yard. The Italian
looped line about his neck and grip
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

Tramp (piteous1y)-Please help
cripple at this festive season, SIR
Kind Old Gent (handing him some
money)-Bless me, why, of course.
How are you crippled, my poor fell
low?
Tramp fpocketing the money)-Ft
nancially crippled, sir.-Glasgow Eve
ming Times
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

Mrs. Krusty-These horrid boys
tied a tin pail to a poor dogs tail
and then chased him ten blocks. I'm
going to have 'em arrested.
Mrs. Askitt-Was it your dog?
Mrs. Krusty-No but it was my tin
pail.-San Francisco Call.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

Mr.. O'Rourke (who has been quar-
reIing with a visftor)-Now, remem-
Der, Jane, the next time you let that
man in you're to shut the .oor in his
face.-Punch-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
TIE Rose Bush

A. child sleeps under the rose bush fair;
The bud swells out in the soft May air,
Sweet1y it rests. and on dream wings flies
To play with the angels in Paradise,
And the years glide by
maiden stands by the rose bush fair;
The dewy blossoms perfume the air:
She presses her hand to her throbb1ng
breast
With loves first wonderful rapture blest
And the years glide by
A mother knee1s BY the rose bush fair:
Soft sigh the leaves in the autumn air;
Sorrowing thoughts of the past arise,
And tears of anguish bedim her eyes
And the years glide by.
Naked and lone stands the rose bush fair;
Whirled are its leaves the wintry air;
Withered and dead they fall to the
ground.
And silently cover a new-made mound.
And the years glide BY
From the German.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
MERELY THAT.

The time is approaching,
We say without malice
Time surely will prove it,
In howell and palace
When Nick will be only
1.-The husband of Alice"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

Piso's Cure is the best medicine we ever used
FOR all affections of the throat and lungs--WM
D. ENDsLEY, vanburen, Ind, Feb. 10. 1900
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

Don't attempt to belittle others be-
cause you feel that they are superior
to yourself
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

Try me just once and am sure {
come again Defiance Starch
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

How can you consume time rapid
Iyf BY eating dates-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

Are you going to swear. of this
year as usual?"
.Yes-taxes."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
broke up in a row"

Broke up in a row."
What was the trouble?"
"Squabb1e about the distribution
of offices. The deacons were elected
all right, but not single woman in
the bunch would accept the office of
elder
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
SIORkLAND D.

Come with me to the Shorthand, bright.
Come where the cherubs live
Come where the buds, unfold, nod
Come where life's to give.
Away off yonder in the dell,
Mid ferns and grottoes fair,
Reigns a queen, about whose throne
Are millions sweet and rare.
When the world was new this land
was old,
Though pure it has ever been;
For none who bear the strain of sin
May ever enter in.
It's realm that lies inside the ga
OF Paradise on high;
Where God is king and angels sing
Their sweetest lullaby.
Year by year those human buds,
Plucked from the wings of love,
Leave this land for motherhood,
And come down from above.
And 0 how drear the world would be
But for this tiny ray,
We're glad that Storkland's not so far
But they can find the way
"A U. Mayffeld in Denver News
There would be no labor troubles IL
every man had iof, on Easy street
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

Willie (aged 6)-Say. papa, what is
q king?
Mr. Henpeck-A king, my son, is
a person whose authority is practic-
ally unlimited, whose word is law
and whom everybody must obey.
Willie-Then, Papa. guess mamma
is a king
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
Didn't Like the Name,

What became of that women's
church that was started here a while
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
For a Free Bridge.

The arbitrary in it's shoes will
tremble,
And over us in glee no longer gloat,
II citizens, when they next spring
assemble,
Vote as a unit for the unit vote.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17
An impression.

AFTER ALL said the transcendent-
alist. what is art?"
-T don't know exactly. answered
Nh. Cumrox. hut in general way
51ould say It was most anything that
cost you more than 81 seat to look
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1906-02-17

There would be no labor troubles If
every man had job on Easy street
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1906-09-06

or .,r~' uSasn' Ui -yvnn rcv,
mother of DR.. Fee at her home in
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1906-09-06

him was indebted for the flare thrown
on him by passing carriage lamps"
"Oh, l see. Now, will you stand where
the fellow stood, and~let me judge of
the effects of the lights of this brougham
coming up will have?"
Eyes, but you must remember I saw
from height"
quick"
With few quick strides Quinton
gained the spot, and stood there quietly
as the lamps of passing carriage flung
their strong but brief reflection upon him.
Then, rejoining his companion, he said (:
"WellF
IF / didn't know who it was stood
there ! don't think I should be able to
recognize you," said Valerius, after some
consideration. "a strong light struck
your breast and flung sharp shadows up
ward toward the face"
"But an outline was clearly visible, -
Quintop persisted
True" he assented, and then, after a
seconds silence, he added, YEARLY: IF
you had distinctly seen and were now
able to identify the man who stood there,
it might simplify this melancholy bust
ness and forever rid an innocent woman
of all blame"
Then you believe the man I saw to be
the murderer"
u shouldn't be surprised to hear he
was"
we may know one day"
I'VE may; goodnight" said Valerius
in grave tone.
Eve may know one day."
Goodnight" said Quinton Quave, as
they shook hands and parted.