davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

=
ham insurance man,, said
solicitor yesterday when the insurance
scandals first came to light and every
body was talking ABOUT the wickedness
of certain fnanciers one of the Birming-
ham papers INDUCED in a pert paragraph
on the subject As often happens in a
newspaper office. Homer nodded and the
paragraph came out as a fling at one
Of the insurance companies which had
not at that time been investigated in
stead of the company which was the
intended object of attack. Well. the in
suranee man mounted on his high horse
and rode down to the newspaper office
to protest. His company was synonymous
with honesty; if there was anything its
agents prided themselves on it was their
uprightness and the sound business meth
DDS which the officials practiced His
company would never be mixed up in
such disgraceful proceedings-the apollo
getie paragrapher could rest assured of
that. The insurance man departed feel
ing vastly pleased with himself and the
next morning the papers were filled with
new disclosures which showed that his
boosted company was really worse than
either of the other two companies which
had been probed. Nobody knows what
the insurance man thought in his heart
of hearts but he wore a subdued look for
weeks"
1T is a far cry from being the Boy
Orator of the Platte to a datto in Min
danao," remarked William Jennings
Bryan, but I am going the limit
What's the matter with Kansas? Short
$4,000
OF COURSE.
What makes a man go quickly up
Until he's out of sight?
Most anybody ought to know
Gee whizl It's dynamite.
One OF the unique packages of the year
was an Ohio school marin wrapped up in
a tin roof. A windstorm was response
BILE.
A Louisville policeman chased two negro
ruffians clad only in his nightshirt. He
had been asleep but, strange to say, was
not on duty.
Two wives of a prominent" Mormon
fell on the ley sidewalk. and broke their
arms. That is what man gets for hav-
ing two wives.
HAD HER ON HIS MIND.
What do you hold"
player asked.
Poor Algy's brain
With love was tasked.
For in a dazed,
Bewildered way,
He said, 'Ah, me!
1 guess it's May"
"A well known doctor says that mis-
sionaries are unpopular in the countries
where they work but some of them are
still in demand for stews.
When a man can't think of anything
else to say he gets up and hollers, Down
with the trustsl"
In speaking of a republican politician
who has recently become the father of
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

Arizona and New Mexico have modified
the old motto so that 1t now reads
Divided we stand united we fall"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

A Louisville policeman chased two negro
ruffians clad only in his nightshirt. He
had been asleep but, strange to say, was
not on duty.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18
PROGRESSIVE.

PROGRESSIVE.
II want some one to love me-"
Said a maiden in distress.
A gallant youth then said to her,
How much do you possess? p
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

Ex-Premiar Balfour has been requested
to change the name of his country estate
to "Esopus."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

Love me, love my dog is illustrated
anew in Baltimore by the suit of a wom-
an for divorce who alleges that her hus-
band beat her because she refused to
kiss his dog. No doubt the dog deserved
it more than the man.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

When the Gear makes a raise" he has
to exercise great skill in hiding 1t from
the grand dukes.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18
GOOD IDEA.

You'll find that this fact is true, kind
friend
Regardless of where you are.
It's better to be struck by an idea
Than by an auto car
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

Richard Cobden's star still shines
brighter in England than Joe Chamber
lains
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

Morales either did not have a Big Stick,
or else he did not know how to use it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

Washington Bureau Age-Herald 14A g
street, N. W.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

David r. Francis will have to do jury
duty in st. Louis. The David R. Francis
terrestrial loop-the-loop does not show
any signs of Undertaking.. but Colonel
Bryan is playing to crowded houses in
the Orient.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

England can acquire political land
slide on short notice.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

Two wives of a prominent" Mormon
fell on the ley sidewalk. and broke their
arms. That is what man gets for hav-
ing two wives.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

II. H. Rogers puts his alleged ignorance
forward two fiippantly.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
MATTERS OF THE WORLD

twins. President Roosevelt said, He Is a
man after my own heart" It is not re-
ported that he ever said that about
Nicholas Longworth.
Somebody ought to suggest short
name for the new president of France
which viii be found available for every
day use.
EXCUSE US.
We wouldn't be an admiral,
Not If We had a chance;
We wouldn't be an admiral
And do the rabbit Dance
We wouldn't be a midshipsnan;
And stand upon our head
We wouldn't be a midshipman-
We'd rather far be dead
frequently a musician can play in Al
fiat without starting a riot but the corr
netist who attempts to play in a fat il
sure to get himself into trouble.
PROGRESSIVE
II want some one to love me-"
Said a maiden in distress
gallant youth then said to her,
How much do you possess?"
Love me, love my dog" is illustrated
anew in Baltimore by the suit of a wom-
an for divorce who alleges that her hus-
band beat her because she refused to
kiss his dog. No doubt the dog deserved
it more than the man.
GOOD IDEA.
You'll find that this fact is true. kind
friend,
Regardless of where you are.
It's better to be struck by an idea
Than by an auto car.
David r. Francis will have to do jury
duty in st. Louis. The David R. Francis
terrestrial loop-the-loop does not show
any signs of Undertaking, but Colonel
Bryan is playing to crowded houses in
the Orient
number of young men about town
who find it difficult to pay expenses on
salaries of $50 a month are sorry that
they invested in Paddock coats for the
winter season of 1sO5-O6 However. we
confdentially look forward to a few days
when it will be possible to wear a heavy
overcoat, altho we do not wish to appear
in the role of WEATHER PROPHET.
NOT A MAGNET.
He made a lot of money,
But made it with die
And consequently does not shine
In finance that is high.
city ordinance of Toledo provides that
women who wish refreshments down town
must drink like a man. That means that
they must put one foot on the rail and
tell funny story.
frequently the rain and the laundry
come down in sheets.
RECIPE FOR HAPPINESS.
If you are feeling worried
Don't curse and tear your hair,
But get out in the sunshine
And breathe the sweet, fresh air.
The news comes that a woman had her
neighbor arrested because he raised a
disturbance when she ran her grapho-
phone. Bet we can guess which one has
your sympathy.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

The English slide is gaining momentum
and the direction of 1t is unchanged.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

We wouldn't be an admiral,
Not If we had a chance:
We wouldn't be an admiral
And do the rabbit dance"
We wouldn't be a midshipman;
And stand upon our head.
We wouldn't be a midshipman-
Wed rather far be dead.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

Maryland Is afraid her legislature setting
in Annapolis will be hazed.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

Mr.. Joseph Chamberlain has been in
definitely postponed.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

What makes a man go quickly up
Until he's out of sight?
Most anybody ought to know
Gee whizl It's dynamite.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

twins. President Roosevelt said. He Is a
man after my own heart" It is not re-
ported that he ever said that about
Nicholas Longworth.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

Somebody ought to suggest a short
name for the new president of France
which will be found available for every
day use
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

Secretary Taft rides Percheron built
up like an OK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

good story is going the rounds
at the expense of a Birming-
ham insurance man." said
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18


Indiana, a literary center, Is appropriate
ly represented at present by college grad
yates only. 1t is the only state that has
-, 41,,4o~o4a. T., a.. a.,o--.4I
Civilized Europe should not go to war
over lot of Berbers, moors and negroes
~, NTorooco Out ~ aieh+ ,,tltans aha,.a
49,
-
King Edward Is about the only Eng
EoIf d. a.,
- -.
rr,ba IIo,,ea sha,1d a. &c ,,,ou 81, a.
-. VIZ .
Pam SvIya,afa nffieio1e dopr.Ivad of ,.asI-
- S ~ - = So civ
- -.
~ nd n A.
DiNiuou VIC etaiio uiilteo VIC Aeh.
hl tiAlcS hiS HISSiueil. II Is using Lie
Big Stick in executive session.
----s------
They are walking over every tory that
gets In their way.
Henry II. Rogers should take lessons
from his friend. Mark Twain on how IN
answer auesoiohs'
When the Gear makes a "raisen ha has
W eNeioise srea' shiil III hioins IL from
'ne Si"nu uuAes'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

1T is a far cry from being the Boy
Orator of the Platte to a datto in Min
danao," remarked William Jennings
Bryan, but am going the limit.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

What's the matter with Kansas? Short
$4,000.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1906-01-18

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala. post
office as second-class matter under act
of Congress March 8, 1873.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-20
SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE
PARENT OF 0RPHEUMS

"The passing of the Orpheum thea
ter in San Francisco will be of inter
est to any one who has ever visited
that city and attended it's theaters,
whether they be in or out of the theat-
rical profession, says Resident Mana
ger G.. E. Raymond Of the Minneapolis
Orpheum. ~. .. ~.t
f'The Orpheum in Frisco was the pa
rent, the beginning of the present Or
pheum circuit, and was almost a land
mark in the city. It was always crowded
and it was a common sight to see a
line two blocks long waiting to get
seats at the bog office, The house seats
more than 1900 on the ground floor
and the usual evening audience con;
sisted Of ladies and gentlemen in full
evening dress, often enough sitting, side
by side with miners, sailors, Indians
and even Cinnamon, such being the ma
ture Of the San Francisco citizen;
"The company, whose central office:
have always been in Frisco, have hat
plans for new house two or three years
and these plans will undoubtedly D,
| followed in the immediate building Of
a. new Orpheum there.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-20

The Journal cadets are putting more
vim into their drills, now that they
have become familiar with the foot
movements, and all the drill inspectors
report good Improvement. By the time
the model guns are provided the boys
will be ready for drill in the manual of
arms. Nearly all appointments Of off
be announced ip The Sunday Journal.
Recruits will be received for short
tire longer and for those boys who ere
backward there will be some extra drills
so that the progress Of the companies
will not be retarded. ..s- =
Locations for outside drills are being
looked for and will be decided upon
shortly.
It is necessary for, the officers to
leave their measurements for uniforms
again at recruiting headquarters at
pm. ~
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-20
cold SHOULDER
FOR ALL BOOMS
MOVEMENT FOR INDEPENDENT
DELEGATION FROM HENNEPIN.
Mass Meeting Proposed in the Interests
Of Harmony, and to Discourage All
Efforts at Capturing Hennepin for
Outside Candidates for Governor
Factions to Share Equally.

In view Of the fact that several out
side gubernatorial aspirants are try
ing to break into Hennepin county in
search of delegates in the county and
state conventions, or, if possible, to cor
ner an instructed delegation, some of
the leading republicans are planning
an Independent Hennepin county move
ment that will take no cognizance OF
these personal booms. Boom work has
been done quietly and has been going
on for some time, but with doubtful
effect. House meetings in all parts of
the city have been held and other pre-
liminary work undertaken.
Some Of the best republican inter-
ests Of the county desire an uninstruct-
ed Hennepin delegation in the state
convention, and are planning to send to
Duluth a delegation that will not only
be representative Of the republicans
of the county, but one that will work
for the best interests Of the county
It is proposed to hold a mass meeting
and make arrangements for represent
tative county convention, and to see
that the delegates to the state conven-
ton are elected by the various wards,
and not cornered and appointed by any
| political maneuver. 49,.
The plan is approved by q number
of the wheelhorses OF the party in the
| county. Gin my opinion,' said a
prominent republican today, "about
| fifty well-known republicans REPRESENT
ing the different wards should call
mass meeting representative. Of the en-
tire county in the Fourth Ward Repub-
lican hall, or some other suitable place:
The sole object Of the meeting should
be the selection Of representative
unpledged, uninstructed delegation to
| attend the Duluth convention.
| cat that meeting an organization
should be projected to elect some square
thoro republican as chairman of the
county convention. I should suggest
w. W. Hefelfnger. or some good mar
Of the same stamp, who neither holds
or wants an office. At the county con
vention the wards should select theil
own delegations and both old factions
should be as equally represented as pos
sible. The platform should be shor
and terse and absolute harmony should
prevail. By calling a meeting Of thi
kind and framing things in a decent
orderly way, all trouble would b.
avoided"
Plans are on foot to have the meet
ing called in the manner suggested
and the call will be signed by repre-
sentative republicans Of the city an
county.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-20

Money to loan on real estate. No
delay. Title Insurance and Trust Co.
Correct wedding invitations. Beard
Dayton, society statloners, at Dayton.
Wanted-A man who knows how to
grow orchids. Address. Box 985, City.
Saturday, picture sale and framing
pictures cheap. Zesbaugh, II Fifth
street S. ~ 8
How unusual! erich Pure Cream
and Milk" Jersey Dairy Lunch, ,46 4th
st S.
Saturday, choice lily plants, so cents
each. Violet plants, 25c each. Latham,
S3 Tenth street s.
Tornado and windstorm season here.
Insure with us. D. C. Bell Investment
Company, Ill Fourth street 8.
Straw suit cases are very light. Just
the thing for summer use. See Bar
mum s own make at 7l5 Nicollet.
"On or Before Building Loans--Busi-
ness and residence properties. No de-
lay. D. G. Bell Investment Company.
Let us insure your automobile against
loss Of any kind. Lowest rates, most
liberal policy. Minneapolis ms. Az 'cy.
The Cation Business College 235 Sec
ond avenue S will give reception and
entertainment this evening, commenc-
ing at clock.
That sweet picture, Clear My Dol
lies Prayer and Everybody's Mag
| azine one year, So, at the Century News
Store, 8 Third street s.,
| The Security Mercantile Agency has
moved it's offices to the fourth floor of
the Northwestern Fire & Marine Insur.
ance company building.
Are you going to the lakes # so,
$1O0 and up. r. V. Moreau Co.
kodak dealers, GIG Nicollet avenue.
The Jewish Reform congregation viii
hold it's regular Friday evening service
at its synagogue, Fifth avenue ani
Tenth street. Albert Rosoff of Chi
cago will sing "Israfel," by Oliver
King.
A meeting Of the Engineers club viii
be held in the rooms of the county com
missioners in the courthouse on Monday
evening. April %. The subject TO
consideration is '"Land Surveying AM
the Common Law Its scientific as Is
stoopes. George W. Cooley, Alfre'
GRADER and James E. Egan. The lega
aspects will be presented by William c
Leary and Frank Healy.
Foul play is suspected in the deaf
of P. J. Conley Of Danvers, MINI
found dead in the Grand Central hote
St. Paul, a month ago from gas poison
ing. Thomas Conley, a brother of tn
dead man, and banker of Danvers
is in St. Paul having an investigate
made. On the body of P. J. Conley wa
found $4,000 in checks and $50 in casl
Thomas Conley says his brother had
large sum of money with him, and q
dsb1oodstains were found on the clothin
which was ntzback to Danvers, 70,
play is feared
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-20
BUSINESS MEN AID Il.
IMPROVEMENT LEAGUE

Business men are showing practical
interest in the work Of the civic com.
mittee of the Improvement League, and
scarcelya day passes but suggestions for
the transformation of Minneapolis into
g. Getty beautiful are telephoned to
the women. One business man sent an
urgent appeal that something be done
to several downtown alleys, especially
the old lookup alley, which he declared
were in deplorable condition. An,
other called attention to the uncoyered
bins in the rear Of stores, which hold all
sorts Of papers and refuse until gust
If Wind blows them out into the street
again.
THE woods at Washburn Park are ia
vorite dumping grounds and now raise lse
almost as many, tin cans as wild MOWERS,
but the growth of tin cans is to be cut
off if the suggestion Of lover OF the
| woods is needed. ,.-.--,>s,..--,
=" Some one wants drinking tank
placed at Bridge Square which IS ira
versed by hundreds OF teamsters every
day. The thirsty men often stop ano
using their hats for cups drink iron
the horse .troughs or else wander 1n MT
one Of the many saloons that line the
street. A tank Of spring water. viii
enable the men to satisfy their thirst
without rubbing shoulders with the
horses or visiting the saloons. -.
ALI of these suggestions were dis
cussed at the meeting Of the civic com
mittee and the committee from the city
council, which was appointed to co
operate with the women, and which in
cfudes Aldermen w. E. Satterlee
Schoonmaker and Gerber. They en-
tered heartily into the plans and it wa
decided to appoint committees OF fv
women in each ward to assist the alder
men and street commissioners Of tn
ward and to suggest needed improve
ments.t H.. ~-.. 49, l.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-20
ILLINOIS OFFICIAL HER
NEW DAIRY AND FOOD COMMITS
SIONER STUDYING MINNESOTA
METHODS. .-..~

H. E. Schuknecht, the new assistant
dairy and food commissioner of ILL
nois, was in st. Paul yesterday and
spent some time comforting with Com
missioner Slater on enforcement Of the
food and dairy laws. He has been new
ly appointed and is starting much
needed campaign for law enforcement
in Illinois, where food laws have been
joke for years. Chicago is a head
quarters for manufacture of - cheap,
adulterated stuff sold thru the Nsst
by "boxcar' merchants. and other
states are interested in the more strin
gent measures promised there. Mr.
Schuknecht also interviewed severa.
twin-city wholesalers and manufac
turers. ....-
III find reputable manufacturers here
all. favorable to law enforcement, ;,
said Mr.. Schuknecht. "They al
ways are when the question is properly
| understood. It is to the interest OF
high grade houses to have the pirates
and shysters suppressed
Mr.. Schuknecht is a former Mime
sotan, having spent some years II
dairy work in Freeborn county. ..
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-20
THE MINNEAPOLIS JOURNAL
INDICTMENT Is REFUSED
ATTORNEY GENERAL FINDS
TROUBLE IN PROSECUTIONS
FOR TREsPAss.

Attorney General Young has re-
ceived word from G. S. Jelley, who went
to Walker to procure the indictment Of
George W.. Wolfe for timber trespass,
that the grand jury had refused to re-
turn an Indictment, by vote of 8 to.
IL, altho the evidence presented was
ample to convict.
Wolfe, who runs sawmil at Mot
ley, has been in trouble before, and in
this case was caught with the logs and
forced to make settlement with the
state. AS he paid more than the logs
were worth, the grand jurors took the
position that he had been punished
enough and should not be held crini-
nally. IS
cit is next to impossible to convict
trespassers in the counties where they
live,' said Mr.. Young today. They
have so many friends, and there is such
a widespread feeling that trespass is
not crime, that the state works under
a great handicap. I shall ask the next
| Legislature to pass a law allowing in
| dictments in such cases to be brought
| in other counties. That is possible now
in civil actions on behalf Of the state
| and should be the rule in criminal cases
if the law is to be strictly enforced !:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-20
BLAKE GOES ALONE TO
FINISH HIS SENTENCE

Carl Blake, manager of the Metropole
club, sent to the workhouse for seventy
five days for gambling, finished his sen,
tence Wednesday,. and was released
After two days Of liberty he was mott.
fed that he had fifteen days more to
serve on previous sentence, the SUI
,preme court having denied an appeal
from the decision Of the municipal,
court. .-s ..-~
He was taken before Judge c. L
Smith, who told him he might have 3
but he must serve e. the Sentence. Blakt
said he was willing to begin at once
and yesterday afternoon, unescorted, hi
took Camden streetcar for The work
house in an apparently amiable frame
of mind.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-20
Journal ssWants'' Bring Business.

Journal wants Bring Business.
No one ever read The Journal Want
Columns all thru without finding some
thing in them of direct personal In,
terest. There is not foot Of real
estate or house in Minneapolis that can
not be sold for all it is worth if the
Journal "Want' Columns are used.
Try the experiment for yourself Sun
day. Appoint these little wonder
working want ads your agent and reap
daily. IF it isn't convenient for you
to bring your ad to the Journal office,
call No. 9, either line, give your ad and
The Journal will do the rest. Rates
are always the same. One cent each
word. No ad taken for less than 20
cents. .. .-.- .-..-s- IT,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-04-20
Friday Evening,
City News
TOWN TALK ]
EVENTS or TONIGHT

Metropolitan Theater rimrose
minstrels.
Biiou Theater- Tom, Dick and
orpheum Theater- NJ Q de + n
vaudeville.
Lyeeum Theater-''The Eternal
City" :,
" Unique Theater-Vaudeville.
Dewey Theater-Dainty Paree
Burlesquers.
Tuttle Universalist Church
"Down in Maine Y. P. G. ".
Auditorium-Song recital, Nine.
Nordica. -
Central Baptist Church-Illus-
trated lecture, can Evening in Eu-
rope,N Mrs. S. K. Curtis.