The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1906-10-13

GU iol evening party D-MOtner, snail
| wash my hands or put on my gloves2
Mamma. what Is grass widow"
"A grass-widow, dear-ls lady whose
husband plays golf.--London BY
stander.
Home, Sweet Home
Through flats and apartments
Though We may roam,
Be they ever so charming
They're too dear for home!
You ought not to work such Iona
hours. Surely your boss can get along
without you part of the time" Sure
he can. But | don't want him to find
1t out."-ClevAland Leader.
Benners Those college professors
listened to a lecture three hours long.
Jenners-What of 1t? Benners-Noth-
ing; only they say "a word to the wise
Is sufficient. "--Philadelphia Telegraph.
Well, Yes.-"We all have our bur
dens to bear" remarked the minister.
Life at best is but a Series Of trials"
Il don't mind the trials, parson," said
Senator Smoothguy, ITS the convic-
tons that hurt"
The Mine that Goes to the WALL
Cokeley-My what lot Of mines are
being exploited now. Jokeley-Yes,
and there's one mine that's bound to
go to the wall. Cokeley-What's that7
Observation-Disclosures
why do you think all Is not right
between Mr.. and Mrs. Washington ?"
They are 80 often seen together late
ly. 1t must be that they have some
reason for trying to drown suspicion"
Chicago Record Herald.
Tom-Here! You've started your
note to Borroughs "Dr. Sir" Don't
you know that sort of abbreviation Il
very slovenly? Dick-No, sir. DR."
is all right in this case. He owes me
money.-Philadelph Press.
Red Cows and Black Cows.-Wagg
So you've taken to farming. ] sup
pose you've noticed that red cows eat
more than black ones. Wigg-No,
didn't. How do you account for lti
Couldn't Tell. - Teacher-If your
mother bought four baskets OF grapes,
the dealers price being twenty-five
cents per basket, how much money
would they cost her? Tommy-Could.
mt tell. Mas great at bargains.
Observation-Disclosures Jerry PEBBLES
was looking over the list Of amended
spellings" recommended by the reform
ers. Why" he exclaimed. II dom,
see anything strange in them words
That's the way I've allus spelled EN-
Out of Order.-T eacher-Thomas,
saw you laugh just now. What arr
you laughing about? Tommy wal
just thinking about something. Teach
er-You have no business thinking dur
ing school hours. Don't let 1t Occur
again.
Mamma thought there was an ap
pie on the sideboard and was goinl
to give 1t to you, but it has disappear
ed. Fred-Well, you can give me some
thing In the place of it, mamma, 'caus,
the apple wasn't much good, anyway
Pathfinder.
His Rule of Action.--"John Henry,
said Mrs. Bickers to her husband, 81
Is time we returned the Gilkinson'
CALL" Il have no intention of return
ing it," said Mr.. Bickers. why not?
Because 1 believe in returning goo'
for evil"
On the Safe Side.-"What's that sig,
you're making here?' Fresh eggs,
replied the new clerk. Make 1t Fresh
laid eggs" "Why - er-everybod
knows the eggs were fresh when the
were laid" Exactly, and that's al
that it's safe for us to say about them.
A Good Fish-Line, Too.-"Now, boys
what is the axis of the earth?" 9Th
axis of the EARTH" said Johnny, 81
an imaginary line which passes fror
one pole to another, and on 1t the cart
revolves." Very good, Johnny" sal
the teacher. could you hang clothe
on that liner Yes, SIR" "Oh, IL
deed, and what sort Of clothes, ma