The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1906-05-23
by Samuel L. CIemens.)

tact IN the following resume can be
amply proved by the official records of
the general government.
John Wilson Mackenzie of Rotterdam.
Chemung county, New Jersey, deceased,
contracted with the general govern
ment, on or about the 10th day Of Oc-
tOber, 1861, to furnish to General Sher-
man the sum total Of thirty barrels of
beef. Very well. He started after
Sherman with The beef. but when he
got TO Washington, Sherman had gone
to Manassas: so he took the beef and
followed him there. but arrived too
late; he followed him to Nashville, and
from Nashville to Chattanooga, and
from Chattanooga to AtIanta-bUt he
never could Overtake him. At Atlanta
he took a fresh start and followed him
clear through his march to the sea. He
arrived too late again by a few days,
but hearing that Sherman was going
out in the Quaker City excursion to the
Holy Land. he took shipping for Bel
rut. calculating to head off the other
vessel When he arrived in Jerusalem
with his beef he learned that Sherman
had not sailed in the Quaker City, but
had gone to the plains TO fight the IN
dams He returned to America and
started for the Rocky mountains. After
eighteen days Of arduous travel on the
plains, and when he got within four
miles of SheTman's headquarters. he
was tomahawked and scaIped, and the
Indians got the beef. They got all of
it but one barrel. Sherman's army
captured that. and so. even in death.
the bold navigator partly fulfilled his
contract. In his will. which he had
kept like a journal, he bequeathed the
contract to his son. Bartholomew W.
Bartholomew W made out the follow
ing bill and then died:
The United States, in account with
John Wilson Mackenzie. of New Jer-
sey. deceased
To thirty barrels of beer for Cen
eraI Sherman at S100..............S 5000
To travelling expenses and trans
pOTtatlOn .--.+.-..--.-..-.- l4,OOO
TOtal..........-...... Sll-OOO
He died then. but he left the contract
to William J. Martin. who tried to col
1ect it, but he died before he got
through. He left it to Barker J. Allen.
and he tried to collect it also. He did
not survive Barker J. Allen left it to
Arson G. Rogers, who attempted to
collect it, and got along as far as the
ninth auditors office. when death the
great Ieveler came all unsummoned.
and fOrecIOsed on him also. He left
the bill to relative of his in Connect
cut. Vengeance Hopkins by name, who
lasted four weeks and two days. and
made the best time on record, coming
within one of reaching the twelfth audi
tor In his will he gave the contract
bill to his uncle by the name of O-be-
joyful Johnson It was too undermln-
ing for Joyful. His last words were:
'rWeep not for mel am willing to go
And so he was. poor SOUL Seven people
inherited the contract after that. But
they all died. So it came into my hands
at last. It fell to me through a Tela-
tive by the name of HUbbard-Bethle-
hem Hubbard of Indiana He had had
a grudge against me for a long time,
but in his last moments he sent for me,
and fOrgave me everything, and, weep
ing. gave me the beef contract!
This ends the history of it up to the
time that I succeeded to the property
I will now CndeaVOr to set myself
straight before the nation in everything
that concerns my share in the matter
7 took this beef contract, and the bill
for mileage and transportation, to the
president Of the United STATES He said,
We'll. sir, what can I do for your
I said. Sire, on or about the 10th day
Of October, 1851, John Wilson Macken-
zie of Rotterdam, Chemung county,
New jersey. deceased, contracted with
the general government to furnish to
General Sherman the sum total of
thirty barrels of beef
He stopped me there, and dismissed
me from his presence, kindly, but t1rn1-
" The next day I called on the sec
rotary Of state. He said, We'll, sir?'
I said. Your royal highness, on or
about the 10th day Of October, 1861,
John Wilson Mackenzie of Rotterdam,
Chenung county, New Jersey, deceased
with the general government
to furnish to General Sherman the sum
total of thirty barrels of beef
That viii do, sir-that will do; this
office has nothing to do with contracts
for beef"
was bowed out. I thought the mat
ter over. and finally the following day
I visited the secretary Of the navy, who
said. speak quickly, sir, do not keep
me waiting
said, Your royal highness, on or
about the 10th day Of October, 1861,
John Wilson Mackenzie Of Rotterdam,
Chemuug county, New Jersey. deceased,
contracted with the general government
to furnish General Sherman the sum to-
tai Of thirty barrels Of beef
Well. it was as far as / could get He
h nothing TO do with beef contracts
for General Sherman, either. 1 began
TO think Il was curious kind Of gov
eminent. It looked somewhat as If they
wanted To get out Of paying for that
beef The following day ] went 10 the
secretary OF the INTERIOR 1 Sdlu- 1OuI
imperial highness, on or about the 10th
day Of October"
THAT is sufficient sir, 7 have heard
Of YOU before. GO-take your infamous
beef contract out Of this establishment.
The interior department has nothing
whatever to do with the subsistence OF
the army
7 went away. But / was exasperated
now. 7 said I would haunt them; [
would infest every department of this
infduitous government till that contract
business was settled; 1 would collect
that bill OF fall, as fell my predecessors,
trying. I assailed the postmaster-gen-
eraI: I besieged the agricultural de-
partment; 7 waylaid the speaker of the
house of representatives. They had
nothing to do with army contracts for
beef. I moved upon the commissioner
OF the patent office 1 said: Your au-
gust exceHency, on or about
"Perdition! have you got here with
your incendiary beef contract at last?
We have nothing to do with beef COLI
tracts for the army my dear sir.
20, that is all very we'll, but some