The Washington times., 1906-11-27
TUESDAY. NOVEMBER q. 1896.
Herchall Girder'S Loss and Gain.

AT first flush. there is deep sym
pathy for Herchall Girder, Of
Rowena. KY. who has just recover
ed from a. trance which has lasted
twelve years. He is now siXty-three
years old and has, until a few days
ago, been fast asleep since one au-
tumn day In 1894. Physicians exert
ed every effort 10 arouse him, bat he
slept on. Nourishment was admin
istered by artificial means and his
health was apparently good, but all
efforts to awaken him were futile,
until a few days ago when he yawn-
ed. stretched, arose in bed, and
wanted to know if the morning
paper had come. Now he is all right
once more, but is in an awful stew
over his inability to understand
things that have happened while he
had his little nap, extending two
years over decade
Girder has lost twelve eventful
years. Since he went to sleep his
country has become a world power.
lie got drowsy just on the end of
panic and he has missed twelve
Ncars of prosperity, unparalleled in
the nations history. He never heard
of Dewey or the shot i'm Manila bay,
the echo of which was heard around
the globe ana gave America a place
in world politics. The rescue of
Cuba from Spain's tyrannic rule, the
acquisition of the Philippines, the
downfall of Spain. the humiliation
of Russia and the rise of Japan, the
march Of civilization into China as
a result of the Boxer uprising, the
settlement of the coal strike, the
peace conference at Portsmouth, the
founding of The Hague court and
its dream of international peace,
the American invasions. of the mar
.kets of the world, the progress that
has been made toward making
America great and her people the
most prosperous on earth; all these
events are as a closed book to Cir
der. He has missed a lot and sym
pathy for him seems natural.
But the law of averages is inexor-
able. Girder has missed some things
that the American who has slept
only seven hours a day in the last
twelve years would like to forget
and is apt to envy Orders ignor-
ance of them. lie never heard OF
Kettle or San Juan hills. He knows
nothing of the Rough Riders and the
offices they are filing. The second
ratio" and government without
consent of the governed" and the
"cross of gold and crown of thorns'
are as Greek to him. So far as he
knows. Bryan is still representing
the Second Nebraska district i'm Con-
gress. He never heard of Coin"
Harvey. He never heard of Poult-
ney Bigelow's trip to the Panama
canal. The name of Alton B. Parker
and the swimming hole at Esopus
mean nothing to him, He does not
know that James Hazen Hyde Is not
still giving dinners with the policy
holders surplus. He probably thinks
that Paul Morton is still clerking
for the Burlington in Chicago. and
lie does not know that Missouri
went Republican in 1904. lie would
not understand references to Carrie
Nation or Cassie Chadwick, and he
has missed General GroSvenor's pre-
dictions in six Congressional and
three Presidential campaigns. The
Shaw resignation rumors have not
reached him, and he probably has
no recollection of Mr.. Cortelyou eN-
cept as a stenographer at the White
House. He knows nothing of Sena-
tors Burton or Mitchell, or the land
frauds and graft" probably has
only horticultural significance to
him. He has no intimate knowledge
of Lincol Steffens, Ida Tarbell,
Jacob Riis, Tom Lawson, or William
Allen White, and he probably does
not know whether there is anything
the matter with Kansas at this par
ticular time. He never heard of
Aiachen or Beavers and the postoffice
scandal, and he has not been eating
any Chicago canned meats. TO him
Eugene V. Debs is still in the Wood
stock jail, and the name of Upton
Sinclair strikes no terror to his
soul. Dowie and his freak creeds
were as dead twelve years ago as
they are now, He viii not under
stand the talk about the lid OF
the "open door" or simplified spell
ing. or the Thaw trial or the Platt
scandal.