davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1906-12-16

ing collection in year or two.
The following specimens of odd statements
are quoted exactly as recorded without the
slightest exaggeration or touching up by even
single word. from various essays on "Cruel-
ty to Animals"
dogs are very useful; when people cry
they generally rub there head on there shout
der to show they are sorry"
Goats and dogs are sent to cheer us up. Be
sides they are dumb and cannot retaliate
themselves, but lions can, if, you go to hit
lion, it will spring fercely on you, or rather
1 should say if you went near il"
eve have to return the thanks to cats and
dogs because they both protect us from nox-
ious animals such as rats, beetles, etc"
dogs are of great use to us became they
sometimes save our lives from falling into the
water"
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1906-12-16
Queer Ways Of Putting 1t

lie head-mistress of an elementary
girls school who takes the trouble
to make accurate notes of the funny
written answers Ito say nothing of
those viva voce) which she receives,
finds that she acnnires an interest.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
Opium Hid in sianboard.

A novel hiding place for contraband
was revealed when Chinaman,
whose principal baggage consisted of
a signboard of portentous size. and
weight, arrived at Bankok from
Hongkong in the steamer Loosok.
Never before was such signboard
brought to Bankok. The customs
guards sat round and admired it.
discussing it from every point of
view. They even went so far as to
bore a small hole in it. This led
them to obtain other tools, with the
result that it was found not to be
Of solid wood. but constructed of thin
boards back and front, cunningly
Joined to square frame. The inter.
ior was hollow and filled with fiat
tins all containing opium. The own.
er of the sign was arrested.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
COFFEE IMPORTERS
Publish a Book About Coffee.

There has been much discussion as
to Coffee and Postum lately, so much
In fact that some of the coffee import
ers and roasters have taken to type
to promote the sale of their wares
and check if possible the rapid growth
of the use of Postum Food Coffee.
In the coffee importers book a chap
ter is headed Coffee as Medicine"
and advocates its use as such.
Here is an admission of the truth,
most important to all interested.
Every physician knows, and every
thoughtful person should know, that
habitual use of any medicine" of the
drug-stimulant type of coffee or whis.
ky quickly causes irritation Of the
tissues and organs stimulated and
finally sets up disease in the great
majority of cases IL persisted in. 1t
may show in any one Of the many
organs Of the body and in the great
majority Of cases can be directly
traced to coffee Ia most unmistak-
able way by leaving of the active ir-
ritant- foffee,and using Postum
Food Coffee for q matter Of ten days.
Il the result is relief from nervous
tronble, dyspepsia, bowel complaint,
heart failure, weak eyes, or any other
nllltaaady TT up ~ ! poisoned nervous
system yoa haye your answer with
tle accuracy 9, & : ID dem nstration 4
@4fhosnatics. III e ss's "a Z y 4
4 d b - i seasons tor Poetu,a
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
"Hit Done escaped Nah Mind"

words when they open an account.
When she came in asked her to give
her name and address. She answer
ed right up. What's your password? 2
I asked her.
"M-m, she exclaimed, pursuing. her
Ups, let me see. Amt dat peculiar?
Hit done 'scaped NAH mind now
"'Can't you think of it?' l said.
You know I can't pay the money un-
til you give me the password
Lord, honey she exclaimed
Abs mighty nigh dat money. But
Ahj es' can't remember hit now
"'Well sit down and think it over
{ suggested to her. 1T may come to
YOU"
In a few minutes the old woman
arose, with happy look upon her
face, and went up to the cashiers
window. She put her face as far in
side the narrow window as she could
and whispered:
Abraham Linkun.''
Correct" answered the cashier.
and he paid her the money she was
after.
''Ah, jes' couldn't place dat mans
name at first" she said, as she went
out.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23

.Guesses with which ssl shads III -
swildersd. \ Esrs ast mn II hsys Ebseln
less engaged than she tancied, for sher
regrets were devoted not ono half o..
much to the parting between Alexis
and herself as to the cause sof It. A.,
to that cause she did not cease to
grieve. nor ever win, % long q she
lives to think Of It; but In the pres.
sure Of novel soccdpati she could.
from time to time forget II, and the
pain grew bearable. q
There are certain generous natures
which feel an intense delight in giving,
and hers was one Of them. And poor.
Belle, who. had known what It was to
pinch and spare for the greater part
Of her life, and who found It an end
less struggle to make the proverbial
two ends meet, was more than pleased
to find a wealthy and free-handed
friend beside her at this juncture.
There were glorious mornings In the
"magasins des modest in Bond street,
with choice lingeries and hats and
dresses, and gloves galore, and even
ings of luxurious ecstacy for Belle and
Miss Cole when the purchases were
laid out for examination. These sacred
treasures were seen by all the ladies
of the village, and Miss Molloy was
the envy of them all. She paraded
Billery to church ON Sunday and pa
raded him back again with the in.
tensest satisfaction, and Billery was
all the best of men needs be.
And the days went on until at last
the day of days was reached, and the
bridegroom was landed for life. Trus
colts wedding gift consisted Of two
books of coupons for a months trip
around Europe, and check for one
hundred pounds. 1t was Truscott who
gave away the bride, and after the
wedding ceremony and breakfast Mr..
and Mrs. Billery started for Paris, and
SO began life anew in the belief that
they We're going to be happy ever af-
ter.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
A WelI.Known Remedy.

One of the oldest, safest and most
favorably known remedies in the
world to-day is Brandreth's Pills-a
blood purifier and laxative. Being
purely vegetable, they can be used by
old or young with perfect safety, and
while other remedies require increased
doses and finally cease acting alto.
gethar, with Brandreth's Pills the
same dose always has the same effect,
no matter how long they are taken.
One or two pills taken each night for
while is the best thing known for
any one troubled with constipation. in
digestion. dyspepsia or any trouble
arising from impurity of the blood.
Brandreth's Pills have been in use
for over a century, and are for sale
everywhere, plain or sugar-coated.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
CRICKET FIGHTS IN CHINA.
combatants Carefully Trained and
Some Worth Hundreds of Dollars,

combatants Carefully Trained and
Some Worth Hundreds of Dollars.
A. E. Parker has just returned from
a trip to San-hui, large walled city
in Kwangtung province, and, while
there, visited the guardhouse, where
he saw six or seven earthenware
bowls of fighting crickets.
He was much amused as to the de.
scription OF the methods of stabling
and dieting these insects. During the
day the female and male crickets are
separated, but as soon as night falls
they are mated. Their diet consists
of water, boiled rice and little gin
seng. the latter to give them stamina.
In matching the insects to fight they
are weighed and light weight would
not be pitted against welter weight
The insects are spurred on to combat
with fine piece of glass, which treat
ment naturally rouses their anger.
The belief that crickets are distin,
guished by pieces of colored wool is
fallacy. They are recognized by
their owners as we recognize our can
inc pets. In contest the first cricket
to run away is adjudged the loser.
The officer in charge of the guard.
house mentioned that a dispute which
had arisen over a cricket contest
three years ago had yet to be settled,
each party holding that the othes
mans cricket ran away first.
Some of these crickets are indeed
worth many times their weight in
gold, several hundred dollars being
sometimes paid for a real champion,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23

OLD aAAlAaay FINALLY REMEla.
BEREp PAssWo Rp.


. i
The banks give secret passwords to
depositors who cannot read OF. write.
When one Of these depositors goes to
draw out money the cashier leans
forward and whispers:
What's your PASSWORD"
The depositor whispers an answer
and. Il the correct password is given.
the money IL paid out. #..S
In q bank the other day a negA
woman sat upon q. bench. her face
indicating intense application of
mind. The cashier nodded toward
her and said:
shes forgotten her password and
is trying to think Of It. She came to
the window awhile ago and wanted
to, get some money. She only want
ed 9 small amount. But she can't
write. She's one Of quite number
Of our depositors who are given pass
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
CHAPTER xxi.

Detective Sergeant Holt sat in his
armchair in his own neat little sitting
room over his morning newspaper and
his first pipe. He had been very hard
worked of late, and had been engaged
on business Of very difficult and
dangerous kind. He had been in pur-
suit of a band of sllilful coiners, had
run his quarry to earth, had escaped
with his life by hairs breadth in ar
resting the gang, and, after securing
his first remand, was left to an in.
formal holiday until the next hearing.
He felt all the satisfaction natural to
a man who had successfully finished a
piece of delicate work, and to that was
added the knowledge that he was
marked out for promotion and an in
crease of pay. So he sat in slippered
ease, and was, for the time being at
least, as happy and contented man
as might be found in London.
He was skimming over for the fifth
or sixth time the report of the highly
complimentary little address he had
received from the sitting magistrate
at Bow street on the previous day,
when he heard ring at the bell, aud
moment later, when the landlady had
responded to the summons, a foreign
sounding voice asked for him by name.
'Halloa!" said the sergeant, s'that's
old Ribot, surely. Now, what does he
want here?"
1t was M. Ribot, sure enough, accur.
ately booted and gloved, wearing q
frock coat tightly buttoned, and carry
ing glossy silk hat in his hand.
what is it this time?" the English
man asked. business or pleasure?"
ut is business" Ribot answered.
1--WE have information that refugee
from Cayenne has found his way to
London. He has life sentence hang.
ing over him already, and before his
escape he secreted warder's side
arms and killed his comrade. I see
that you have done brilliant stroke
of work, my friend. My congratula-
tons. felicitate you. 1t should mean
step, eh?"
tn Ra ron$;u,,ad\
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
(To Be continued.)
PECULIAR KINDS OF FUEL.
Mumnies, Leather Chips and Dried
Fish Have Been Used.

Mummies, Leather Chips and Dried
Fish Have Been Used.
II have eaten mutton cooked on a
fire of broken mummy" said the sailor.
1T was in Egypt, and the mummy was
stolen out of tomb. The natives are
always stealth munmies. They sell
them in pieces to tourists. and what
pieces they can't dispose OF otherwise
they throw into the bin for fuel.
Mummy burns like finder, but it's
a CHASTITY fuel, 1t is as CHASTITY fuel
as the shoe lasts which they burn in
the shocnnakin' town of Lynn. where
the old fashioned and discarded lasts,
.lcwin' in the CRATES. look to you like
anlputated human trilbies.
Il have been in tannery towns
where the fuel is leather chips. This
fuel smells and snakes. 1t clinkers,
too, formin' itself into big, solid
chunks that have to be broke up with
the poker every little while.
IN British Columbia, where fish is
as plentiful as air, they burn dried fish
when there's no wood handy. The oil
In the fish causes them to burn well,
but the smell of th.s fish fuel amt to
no white mans TASTE" hi
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
when the wife Is Away.

Things happen funny when ones
wife is away. The other night we
were awakened about midnight by a
peculiar noise. Summoning up all our
courage, we descended the. stairs and
opened the kitchen door, from which
place the noise seemed to- be coming.
about an inch. What we saw was 4
flying machine that outclassed the
Santos-Dumont machine 2 to 1. It was
a sheet of sticky fly paper and was
sailing around the room at dizzy
gait.-Dows Cowa) Advocate.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
Tartar HOLY Well.

A. holy we'll, or spring, away up on
hillside near kazan and overlooking
the river. is believed by the Tartar
villagers to possess extraordinary
healing properties. The spring flows
into rocky basin about ten feet
square and three feet deep. t9
The water is pure crystal, spark
Ang in the sunshine, and the marvel.
Gus thing is that the bottom OF the
well is thickly covered with silver
coins thrown in by sufferers who
come to be cured by the water, to
propitiate the spirit OF the well. al.
though the tank is only three feet
deep and no watch is kept on the
spot, no one has ever been known to
touch or attempt to take any Of the
coins.s ~ q
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
INSOMNIA CURED
o.. Williams Pink Pills Restores
WRECKED Nerves TO Normal Con-
aitlon and Good Health Followed.

Wrecked Nerves to Normal Con.
aitlon and Good Health Followed.
The sufferer from sleeplessness too Of.
ZEN resorts to habit-forming drugs in
order to secure the coveted rest. But
aleep obtained by the use of opiates is
not refreshing and the benefit is but
temporary at best.
Mrs. H. A. Fletcher, of SO Blodget
street, Manchester, N. H., is living evil
denOe of . tho truth of this statement
She says: 81 received shock of an
apoplectic character. 1t was SO severe
that the sight Of my right eye was af-
fected, causing me to see objects double.
was confined to my bed about four
weeks, at one time being told by the doc
tor that !. could not get well. When I
could leave my bed was III such ner-
vous state that ! could not sleep at night.
would get up and sit OIL q chair until
completely tired out and then 60 back to
bed and sleep from exhaustion.
81 had been under the DOCTORS care
for six weeks when my sister, Mrs.
Loveland, of Everett, persuaded me to
try DR.. Williams Pink Pills for Pale
People. Isbegan taking the pills with
the result that soon experienced relief.
Dne mgnC soon hICer taxing them lay
awake only a short time and the next
night I rested well. From that time I
slept we'll every night and soon got well
and strong. I have recommended DIR.
Williams Pink Pills number of times,
and my niece has taken them for weak
nerves and poor blood aud found them
very beneficial
DR.. Williams Pink Pills have cured
many severe nervous troubles, headache,
neuralgia and sciatica as we'll as diseases
of the blood such asanamia, rheumatism,
pale and sallow compilations and many
forms of weakness. All druggists sell
DR.. Williams Pink Pills, or they will be
sent by mail postpaid, Oh rccciptof price,
80 cents per box, six boxes for So so, by
the DR.. Williams Medicine Company,
Schenectady, N, Y,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23

CHAPTER xx.-(continued.)


She found herself walking at an un.
wonted pace, in keeping with her own
agitated reflections. She checked her.
self, but only for an instant. Before
she knew it her hasty feet again be-
trayed the disorder of her mind. She
betook herself to shaded seat, and
compelled herself to stiffness. Every
five minutes she appealed to her
watch in the vain belief that half an
hour had passed away. Her head
ached, and she felt half-hungry
nausea, and the very spirit of unrest
was in her feet. but she held herself
resolutely in leash, and made the most
Of patience, as women can, and have
to do so often.
At last, when there was some reas.
enable hope that message might
have been dispatched, she sauntered
back to the house, yearning to break
into a run at every lingering step. No
message yet. No message yet for the
longest half-hour she had ever known,
and then wheeled emissary from the
local postoffice with a yellow encelope
in his wallet. She was sitting in the
open hall and went leisurely to meet
him as he dismounted.
"For me?" she asked.
eyes. madam" said the messenger,
with his hard at the salute.
She opened the envelope with a
purpOsed deliberation and read the
messake.
mo answer, thank you"
"Thank you, madam"
The message consisted of four
words only: message from Mr.
Alexis"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
Shouts of Joy are apt to give tho
pessimist headache.
500 Reward, 500.

that there 10 at least one dreaded disease that science
has been able to in all its stages, and that 10
Catarrh. Halfs Catsrrh Cure y the only positive
being constitutional disease, requires c0nstitu.
tional treatment. Halle Catsrrh Cure Is taken in.
surfaces Of the system, thereby destroying the
foundation Of the disease, and giving the patient
ing nature in doing its work. Tho proprstors hays
much faith IN its curative powers that they o6er
One Hundred Dollars for any case that ie fails -
cure. Send for list of testimonials,
Address F. J. CHENEY q CO., Toledo. o,
Sold by all Druggists, Use.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
A Rabid View.

Nov, professor" said Miss Kay.
you know something Of human ma
ture; at what age does the average
man Of intelligence marry r vi
'Dotaga!" promptly replied the
Grabbed old fellow. 4. So. 81 u
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
The Fly Fly.

Twill you step into my parlorr'
Said the spider to the fly,
Inviting her politely to her doom;
But the fly was pretty fly,
Nay, kind SIR" she made reply,
I'm afraid your parlor's but a dining
ROOM"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23

above my head. The kidney action
was disordered and passages Of tAs-s
cretions too frequent. On the advice
Of my husband ]. began using Doan's
Kidney Pills. Since using two boxes
my trouble has not reappeared. This
is wonderful. after suffering two
years" ~ 5..ss
Sold by all dealers. so cents 8 bon.
Foster ilburn Co., Buffalo, N. =.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23

Good Seed Didn't Fall BY the wayside.
How goes the fight against the
tares. Brother Higgins?"
"W-a-al. amt bin on one sence the
caounty fair, pahson. Judge.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23

Pelts Write for tags and Price List. John
Mack Co., Is N. I'd st.. Minneapolis.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23

Mrs. winslow's soothing Syrup.
For children teeJll. sOftea tue gums. reuucSS h.
tammatlon allays pain cures wind collie. &c bottle
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23

The sunshiny man drives all the
moonshine out Of his religion.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
] I l \
Tslls % stsry 81 U 10 \ sssriss0 ~
vonds fsul5 MI sssS3s

Il Mrs.. ). 81. johnson, Sof s03 sy1sss3
Hickman street. Columbia, No, Gays:s5
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23

Suspicion is the substitute Of the
slothful for vigilance,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1906-11-23
Or. J. II. RiNDLAu1, (specIaIlst).
Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat,
Fargo. N. D.

No man is greater than his smallest
act.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1906-12-13
WASHINGTON.

Bert Caldwell has sold his farm to
Myr0n Calef.
Mr.. and Mrs. G. A. Bohonon were in
Barre Monday.
Miss Nina TilIotson was in Barre on
Business Friday.
w. f. Worthley was in Barre last Fri
day OH business.
Mrs. Zeruah Seaver, who has been i'll the
past week, is improving.
l. l.. Sloeum and Ray Moody were in
Chelsea on business Monday.
Matthew Hyland has recently had an
Orange County telephone put in his house.
Mr. and Mrs. Norman Clough left for
Berlin last week to spend the rest Of the
winter with their daughter, Mrs. q. l..
Slack.
The Picture and Vaudeville show by the
L. s. Story troupe, held at School House
hall last week, was a success and enjoyed
by all who attended.
Mark c. Carpenter, formerly of this
town, left Barre last week Wednesday
night for Pasadena. CAL, where he will
work in hotel this winter.
Mrs. |. L. Slocum, the popular landlady
at the Washington hotel, was the lucky
lady to draw the gold watch awarded to
the one receiving the most votes.
Mrs. Fillmore Edwards died Tuesday,
Dec. 4, after short illness. The funeral
was held from the home of her daughter,
Mrs. w. A. George last Thursday morn
ing. The deceased is survived by her hus-
band, Fillmore Edwards; two daughters,
Mrs. W. A. George Of Washington and
Mrs. WILDER f. Tucker OF Orange, and two
sons, Joseph Fl. of Chelsea, and Fred W.
of Pardeeville, Wis.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1906-12-13
STAFFORD.

ABB. Carpenter was in Chelsea the ith.
l.. P. Hazelton was in South Royalton
Friday.
Fred Preston was in South Royalton
recently.
Frank Brown was in South Royalton
Saturday.
n. w. McCollom Of Randolph was in
town the 5th.
Mr.. and Mrs. W. F. Scribner returned
home Monday.
The l.. B. c. met with Mrs. E. r.
Rowell Tuesday.
DIR. g. NJ. Cobb of White River Junction
was in town recently.
Blanche Brown is working at Willard
Kings in Tunbridge.
Walter Hoyt returned Friday from his
visit in Massachusetts.
Iona Chase is working in the Orange
County hotel in Chelsea.
Mr.. and Mrs. Rollin Prescott were in
South Royalton Monday.
Earl Crane spent Friday and Saturday
at German Rogers in Tunbridge.
Rev. A. j. Eastman was in Chelsea
last week Tuesday and Thursday.
Mrs. Richard Bacon went to Chelsea
the 4th and returned home last Thursday.
W. f. Scribner and Hiram Ward were
in Post Mills and Vershire one day last
week.
r. II. Morrill, went Saturday to Gardner,
Mass, and he will go from there to
Boston.
The village school opened Dec. with
Grace Waterman and Gertrude Dearborn
as teachers.
Mrs. N. r. Carpenter and Maude
Mosher were in South Royalton the last
Of the week.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1906-12-13
RoXRuRY.

Miss Jennie Cram is still gaining.
n. D. Rice was in Montpelier Monday.
Mrs. Vinton was here from East Gran
Vile Saturday.
N; II. Richardson spent last Thursday
in Montpelier.
Mrs. d. l.. Nichols was a guest at DIR.
Wlnch's in Northtield last Thursday after
noon.
Miss Alice Everett, a trained nurse from
burlington, arrived Saturday evening to
remain for time.
Mr.. and Mrs. W. J. Carpenter are spend
ing several days with his sister. Mrs.
Whitney, in Granville.
The New England telephone men are
working in this vicinity, stringing the
new wire, and are boarding at Stanwix
Hall.
The families of Frank Rattee and Burr
Luce are under quarantine for scarlet
fever. Mr.. Luce and family are at Charlie,
Mann's. The necessary precautions ar,
being taken to prevent the spread OF th,
disease.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1906-12-13
A Card.

We, the undersigned, do hereby agree to
refund the money on a 50-cent bottle OF
Greene's Warranted Syrup of Tar if it
fails to cure your cough or cold. We also
guarantee 25-cent bottle to prove salts
factory or money refunded.
j. w. Fargo, Randolph Center.
j. w. Parmenter, Brookfeld.
f. Q. Bachelor, Braintree.
Il. |. Claflin, East Braintree.
Sprague & Sprague, East Randolph.
Il. j. Prince, South Randolph.
d. l.. Nichols, Rox bury.
G. A. Tilden, Roxbury.
n. A Leonard, Randolph.
X. G. Morton, Randolph.
c. II. Bigelow & Son, East Brookfield.