davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Holmes points out the Importance of the
present ability Of the farmer. ewing to
his improved financial condition. 10 make
his own choice Of the crops he shall raise
He is In position. therefore. TO select the
most remunerative and 10 keep out OF the
nut in which many farmers are found.
1t is rot to be taken for granted how
ever. that al farmers are making money.
OF that All farm lands have advanced In
price. Certain factors. such as bad
weather. the ravages of insects. OF the
availability Of cheaper lands, depress the
position OF the farmer in particular local
titles. But in the nation N large prosper
ity among the farming classes IS the rule
rather than the exception. It IS a situa-
ton which every lover OF his country may
regard. as the party platforms say. with
just pride
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
Dbl Ihe Wrong Chnrch.

An absent-minded woman one Sunday
morning walked into church. took a front
seat, and joined in the service vigorously,
according to the Chicago Inter Ocean.
Then the collection basket was passed to
her and. putting a coin into it. she locked
about She cast glaRces in every direc-
ton, her mind cleared. and an expression
or 'amazement overspread her face. She
got up. She hurried down the aisle. She
overlook the man with the collection bas-
llet I'm ia th9 wrong church. she
whispered. and. taking out the coin she
had put in, she hurried forth.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

The word of criticism which The Herald
passed upon the board of edueati0r in
connection with the dismissal Of Prin-
oiral Cardoza appears to have been
based ON misrepresentation Instead of
eep7rtins from the letter of the law. the
board observed both its spirit and letter.
There is provision in the new
statute that charges affecting the
character Of a teacher shall be consil-
cred in executive session Therefore
there was mo- alternative. In Withdraw
ine its criticism, The Herald IS pleased to
state authOritauvely that the board Of
education believes in open sessions and
the fullest possible Publicity. Star-cham-
Der methods arc of Che past
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
RedfvfVuS.

Prom The indianapolis star
First Comedian-Why does n hen
Second Comedian-Cross the gangplank:
To get TO the hatchway, Of course.
+. C.-No; why does a.
s. Glen read poetry? Fond of a lay
That's easy. Why
+ C.-NOt yet, why
). C.-Does hen look untidy in the
morning The rooster has the comb.
Here's a good one why
+. C.-Nein, Heinie. nein- Why does a
hen belong TO the upper ten?
5. C.-Go on. I'll be the gOat. What S
the answer?
F. C.-Because she won't move from
her set
Soft music and cgTtain. Don't applaud
maybe Hughes won't win.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
A LITTLE NONSENSE


Tho DAYS have come. ms worthy friends when
statesmen 81 to iaD
Yours ar o. SIC ouC ans time hauled up before
The rail.
And see Senator sent doan TO serve Dis tbirty
DAYS
Thcy Few quite hish iar many years but times are
altered rlU.
Thcy srest us common people with a Sow and cring-
ms bow.
They dare nos look as 10 the eye. lest we cop
sh1nd hail.
The time has come. my verify friends. when states
men 50 80 aiI.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

That farmers have shared iu the national
prosperity Of the past decade is evident
from the facts gathered by the Depart
mont of Agriculture from $500 carrs-
spondeHts ana lately published These.
show that the increase in the value Of
farm lands ia the last five years, taking
the country over. has been something
over 35 per cent But these figures are
far from telling the whole story. A
ilotable advance has taken place in the
economic condition OF the farmer since
the days OF the Populist movement Not
only have his lands increased IN value.
but The prices OF his products have been
better his income has been enlarged. and
the methods of agriculture SO improved
as te br.ag larger returns from given
outlay - notable example Of this may
be found in tho south where series
81 profitable crops has led to the abolition
of the crop-lien system by which the
farmer was perpetually iH debt lie is
now able 90 furnish his own capital out
or Dis bettercd income.
ThCUe IS no reason TO anticipate any im-
mediate change for the worse IN these
happy conditions. Mr. Holmes, who COM
piied the facts Tor the Agricultural De-
partment remarks thar farmers now
occupy strong economic position.
founded upon the tendency of the con-
sumption az some important products to
increase faster than population does, and
upon the tendency Of the desires for these
precincts To increase faster than the pro
duetion does. so that with respect to
these products consumption Is close upon
ipc heels az production. Among such
products Mr Holmes mentions poultry,
fruit. butter. meat animals. and wheat
it VIII DO long time before The demand
for the best qualities ct thes products.
with tie 9ossibie exception OF wheat.
WI De cyertalen oy production. Mr.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
ENTERPRIsE.

no time 10 talk to you" growIs the
man az the desk.
But T."
Don't want to look at anything, I tel
you
Il merely"
won't buy a thing"
zone moment. sir. T."
Cant stop 20 listen
Il simply wanted 10 get you to buy one
OF these neatly printed cards reading This
is My Busy Day 10 hang over your desk
An, thank you sir"
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

From Youths Companion.
He was solemn Scotchman. with an
equally solemn and somewhat down-trod-
den wife. The fact that they were re-
ceivins an excellent price for their sec
onG pair front from an American lodger
did not blind them 10 her failngs
Dear me. Mr. Macleod" said the
ledger one Sunday afternoon. when an er-
rand took her TO the parior, where the
family sat Il should think YOU and your
wife would he stified sitting indoors this
HOT day with the windows shut II you'd
just open one and get some fresh air. I'm
sure it would do Mrs. Macleod good: she
looks pale
Air. Macleod looked at her with his
ustai stern and unbending gaze.
We can haze fresh air ony day" ne
said calmly. We've no need to haze e
rushing ABBOTT the house on the Saw
BATH
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
Prespnce of Mimi

Erdm the Iatlcr
After the railway accident DID YOU
get compensation, Bil2"
Yes. five pounds me and five pounds
the missUs
Why. | didn't know as she wor 'urt. -
She wasn't, but ] had the presence of
mind TO fetch 'er one on .he cad witb
me boot "
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
Nome Weans .Eome.v

From the National Magazine.
Il is said that the name Of Meme was
the result of an error made by some Eng
lsEman in writing a letter. He evidently
intended TO write the word "home" bur
the makers of the maps read it Nome.
and thus the name Nome belongs 70 his
tory and the great district Of Alaska.
Some authorities claim that the word
Nome is a corruption Of the Indian phra Sc
or word KnOma, meaning something like
u know il.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
On the Right side.

From Mcsseadorfcr Blaeiter.
"Hello, old man. Haven't seen anything
Of YOU since you got married. HOW goes
it,
Thanks, fairly we'll But marriage Is a
costly job II you only knew what the
dressmakers charged"
so I suppose yOu regret III"
oh no, I married dressmaker.''
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
TIE ,IEEIl wnNaN.

There was once rude. coarse. brute
Of man who was married to a meek
and gentle and timid little woman. and
one day De told her roughly that she
couldn't buy any more winter hats and
dresses. that he wouldn't give her an
other cent for them
So she al once began shopping for her
spring outfit
This shows us that the world is UnC0n-
scioUsly swayed by the soft hdnu of the
gentler sex. WILBUR ID. NESBIT.
Copyright 1906 by a. y Nesbi,l
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
Ny VIEWS.

When, on the morning after.
turn my rockets u5t.
Ny ma0d's not one of laughter
OF that there's little doubt.
As ruefully J note the
Few CUuperE IN my purse.
/ nHItter with conviction.
Yes, bridge is quite a curse
And WHOM the cards I gather
Are an Of the inky shades,
And I observe. Il rather
Think ! viii make il spades
Then. as | play ny cards our.
as comments clear and tersr-
7 state my firm conviction
That bridge is quite a curse.
But when 2 hundred aces
Within my hand J sec.
Al then my slooay face Il
Lit up win sudden glea.
Tho i0t ] murmar softly.
And add. Yes. there are worse
ADJUSTMENTS. Pen my word
DO not think bridge q curse
London
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

From the Cleveland PLAIN Dealer.
As an Indication Of the dull condition Of
political affairs in Ohio il is stated that
the reception given by Mrs. Longworth at
findiay last week was atterAed by far
more people than her husband addressed
IN the evening.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Washington is favored with another
daily paper. and from the first issues
it would seem that the city is particu-
larry favored IN a blight. handsome
journal Of nigh chacacUr. It is newsy.
clean. and able. The name is The Wash
ington Herald, and It began publica-
ton October S under the management Of
Mr.. Scott G. Bone, for many years man
aging editor Of the Washington Post. and
who made that paper one Of the most
attractive IN the country. Mr.. E H
MerTick is the business manager and Mr.
J. Harry Cunningham assistant business
manager The paper deserves success,
and we have no doubt that il viii quickly
achieve it,
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
Id snfcsf Itind.

WHISKY amt such a BAD friend II Ii
right Teller declared Uncle Goshan
Hemlock
"How's chat. uncIe?"
Whisky viii often make money fer
sc; the whisky that other men drinks.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
4 Pertinent Quessior.

"wn son walk into my parla. said the spider
10 the Hy.
And he said it With coaxing sort Of note.
May asa a simple question: TO the spider said
thc rs
Do .oa want ne a ID carte CT table dhoieg'
-Cleyeland PLAN Dealer.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
TO THE PUMPKIN PIE

o. golden pumpkin pie, Thou art
soothing song the autumn sings
Unless with crafty. wicked art
You're made If tlraips. f4dishes squash ycow
rcher hdlers earth, corn meal and lot
a. other things,
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Flon The De.rei, Free Press.
In China the human palm is used as a
passport
Here people Try TO set through on their
face
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
why:

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
why Go they call them q bridal
couple
We'll, he has his head in the halter
that's why
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

wei 7 have finally obtained Your
fathers consent said the young man
Vow. VIII you agree to be mine?"
'I guess SO, answered the maid sn
doubuuily. u wouldn't. though. If J
thought pa was trying 20 get rid Of me.-
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

President Roosevelt may have broken
the law when he contributed that dollar
10 the Republican campaign fund but
such d little break as that ought TO &c
easily repaired
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

To we'd Ct not 10 wed:
That is the question.
Whether It's bytter
To remain single
And diEpp0int q few WUmen.-
For time;
or marry.
And disappoint one woman
Fos hfsg
-Lipyisestt's 5Issa1ine.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Since viewing the case Of Mr.. Murphy,
Mr.. Croker has concluded that "as long
as the light holds out 10 burn. the vilest
sinner may return"
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Mr. Hearst is now experiencing the de-
lights 0f attending political meeting.
delivering a carefully prepared speech.
and then picking up a paper the next
morning 10 read a lot of things he didn t
say.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Oh bitter is the statesmau's cup. AMI
dark and gloomy looms his phiz. whene',-
De finds they've sized him up Tor what.
alas. De really is
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

one of the Cincinnati papers is mad
because the mayor has put only some
dozea or so relatives in office. Why bc
so hard on the mayor? Possibly he has
no more
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
As viewed in the Far West.

IIVU DC ItstFtL NcNs.
The only two men in the country who
really loom up as Presidential possibilities
are William J. Bryan and William r..
Taft. All the other lights are but fire.
flies and glow worms
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Perhaps that sheet Of yellow paper that
put an end to the Weightman trial was
only an afternoon ''wuxtry.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
Held Back.

Prom the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
That big foundry over there can't get
ahead very fast
why nOtZ-
It's always casting anchors
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

According TO a scientist. the pfrfece
human figure ought To be equal in leighl
10 the length Of ten faces. In that event
eN-President Palma would be about ff-
teen feet tail
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

\ Texas paper calls loudly for a pumu-
KIN canning factory Yet it has been SAID
that the pumpkins were working over
time now being made into pure strs W.
berry jelly.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Ii is said that Dir. Richard Croker wiz
return TO this country and take the helm
for Tammauy. II his present. frame Of
mind it IS = little dangerous. Perhaps, 10
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Much as his WashiOnton friends SYM
pathizc with Sir Chentung Iian-Cheng
over the death OF his mother. they re-
joice that the Chinese Minister'S imperial
master at Pekin refused 10 ACCEPT his res
ignation, in rendering which. by cable
Sir Chentuns followed an immemorial
custom Of his cOntrymen 10 quit all pub
lie service for q term Of years as a mark
Of respect for dead parents. Sir Chen
tung Lian-Cheng is the most respected
representative the Chinese government
has ever sent 10 Washington His imme-
date predecessor. the pert Wa Ting Fang.
was popular because of his quaint and
frequently caustic wit but ne did NOT
gain the same high standing in the dip,o-
matte corps OF the country at Iarge as
that enjoyed by Sir Chentung. The lat
ter Is accounted one of the ablest statcs-
men produced by modern China. In fact.
he Is thoroughly modern i'm his 1icn-Dolnt
and conduct, although h. respects whole
somelv the better customs and traditions
OF his race in religion. philosophy and
family relations. His English is perfect.
ana his acquaintance with American his
tory and institutions is thorough. Sir
Chentung was educated I'm the United
States. being one OF the first young Chi
ncSe Of high family 60 be sent 10 this
country By his government to be edu-
Gated. Before being sent here 10 succeed
Wa Ting Fang. he held responsible
position In the foreign office at Pel5in.
and prior to that he had served his gov
eminent in England. He IS as companion
able rs II he were an American 10 tho
manner born, and while modern in every,-
thing except dress. he still is intensely
Chinese in the sense that he believes first
in his own country
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Tho bautfri hfr0iuc's face Ell
Tho cilmsg her, stepped on &C..
Aad thai broke uD the novel.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

The per capita circulation Of the United
states ut this time is S33Os The .0S seems
all right
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

hint that he may be coming to take any
thing else not nailed down
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
iHf IfI7U anl VT UHT0H
They don't afn@rut 90 mitch
Burrah Tor the ScaudinsFi-aus 20

a rumor has been current in Washing
ton for some time that Hon. Joseph
Benson Foraker has a matured purpose
in mind 20 oppose at every turn in the
Senate this winter every form of radical
ism that shows itself The Ohio states
man, single-handed and alone. stool
against the Administrations railroad
programme AZ the last session, and was
joined ia the final vctIng by Alabama =
veteran Democrats. Senators Morgan ana
Pettus. Sir. Foraker's Independent course
on this great question did not cause an
open breach between himself and the
President as near tho close Of the session
me was an h0n0red guest al two or three
White House dinners that were attended
only by tie elect. But it is thought that
II he adventures upon the policy Of per-
slstent and uncOmpTOmislng opposition &
the approaching session 10 administration
programmes which he may regard as
radical. he may arouse active antagonisn
at the White House lie has already
given a hint Of his intention I'm the speech
delivered "a few days ago at the reunion
Of the Army Of the Cumberland. in that
address hc uttered some yelled criticisms
OF the Presidents recently expressed di-
Vergence of opinion concerning certain
decisions OF the Fedora. courts. and it Is
believed the OhiOan did this 10 show
what attitude he VIII assume I'm Congress
this winter. In debate. Mr. Foraker is
as iacile as he is courageous, and as the
floor leader of the conservative Rcpubi:-
cans Of the Senate. il is generally agreed
that he would kick up q row Of goodIy
proportions should DE pur-Je tire course
he is said TO have determined ur0L.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

A court has decided that man who re-
fuses 70 cut kindling and build fires is
guilty of cruel treatment and his wife
may have a divorce. Thus is another
burning issue settled in The new woman
favor.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

The New York Tribune refers 10 Mr.
Hearst as the Aaron Burr of 1896" A
chestnut bur. as Il were.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

As soon as those Cuban insurgents
found out that the money was stlll in
the treasury. they began 70 look foolish.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

A Wyoming man has declined a nomina-
ti0n for coroner, declaring that he
couldn't ''be a politician and Christian
at the same time" Especially for a little
Office like coroner.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

A new daily has found its way to our
exchange table 1t IS The Washington
Herald. which is to be published every
morning at Washington. d. c. The ini-
tial number promises wei for the future
Of this journalistic enterprise. It is full
Of interesting news. tersely told. It's edi-
iorials are strong, and it starts with a
fair amount OF business patronage. The
Herald promises TO be q clean newspa-
per" It VIII deal. we are told. with the
cleanly affairs Of life. and there viii be
no partisan politics Ia either Its news or
editorials. These sentiments we heartily
indorse. The great need Of our time is
reform Of the press. The tide Of crime
viii never be stemmed until it is no longer
fed by daily news reports. We wish sue
cess 20 every journalistic enterprise ihat
VIII give prominence to that which is
good instead Of the bad features Of hui
man life. and that will work for harmony
among men. instead Of partisan strife
We hope The Herald may live long and
prosper.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

SUN. if Mr.. Croker ever expects. to como
ONT rs reformer. this would seem 90 DE
the accepted time.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

50 far az getting out Of Mauchuria is
concerned, Russia seems to be i'm no great
danger Of arrest for exceeding the speed
limit
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Gov. Guild is said 10 have "nailei nine
lies I'm q speech at Boston the other
night" Pretty good hammcring. that
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

ar Watson declares that his name shall
DO longer De associated with that maya
zine. Hereafter. we presume. IL viii be-
known as Toms Magazine.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

In that county of Indiana OF which the
famous METROPOLIS Of Rushville is tho seat
% power and government. the Democrats
were exultant in their confidence Of elect
ing at least their candidate for county
clerk until the saplent attorney general
of the State came 10 the rescue OF tho
Republican candidate. a son Of the Hon
J. *. Cowdy. late consul general to Paris.
The issue against young Gowdy was that
he had been froliekins in gay Paree for
So long a time that he was TO longer a
ireehoider in the county. To bee "a free
holder in HOoSiCrdOm one must own land
in zee simple. and unless one is free
holder he is disqualified 20 serve In public
Office. The Republican nomination had
come TO the scion of the house OF Gowdv
by that principe Of political gravity
which in Indiana is all-powcrful. 10 wit:
The Office must seek the man. Having
thus been overtakcn by the nomination
and seized young G0wdy thought an was
well Tor brilliant career in the public
service. His hopes were darkened by The
Democratic campaign cry that De was not
a freebooter. For weeks the tide OF bat
tie ran hiCh and strong against him. or
q sudden his hope again sprGng into full
strength He discovered that in The deed
which the distinguished head Of his house
had taken to a lot in the local cemetery
characteristic political foresight had guild
ed the paternal hand in writing in the
names OF the owners Of the lot The can
uldate's name was among them. He sub
mittCd this evidence Of his qualification
70 Attorney General Miller ut Indian
apolis- That official promptly and un-
hesitatingly decided that young Cowdy's
part ownership Of the cemetery lot con
stituted him a freeholder. The opposition
has now taken TO the woods
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Breathitt County. Ky. boasts a railroad
that charges no fare. Collecting railroad
fares probably is not very healthy occu-
patton in Breathitt County, anyhow.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

President Castro seems to be several
death rumors ahead OF tho Sultan OF
Turkey
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

An Iowa man has just received his
captains comm mission issued forty wears
ago. but why this extraordinary activity
on the part OF the government we do moi
know
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

William Bushnell. who recently fell out
Of a seven-story window 90 the sidewalk
below without hurting himself. declares
that he never enjoyed anything so much
IN his life. The pleasure is all his
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Senator Foraker saws that the PROPOSE
ton to send the blacks ali back TO
Africa is THE veTiest nonsense To be
sure. especially while few untagged
Southern delegates are still at large.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Mr. William Dean HoweIls says. Ger
tain Of cur women twang ard whine and
white and Whinny. We are not sure.
but we rather think Miss Laura Jean
Libbey advanced that idea first.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

The New York American is Offering the
Anani3s cup as a prize to be contested for
by the other Gotham papers How did the
American come 10 be the holder OF a.?
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Whenever the New York courts run
out of anything else to do. they make
Abe Hummcl give a new bond.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Chinese currency. known as flying
money Is believed to be the first money
Of the worlds history. It seems never
10 have rec0Nered from the habit
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20
GREETINGS TO The HERALD


From the Concord Monitor
The Washington Heraid's first Sunday
issue was a refreshing newspaper to ham
die and 10 read. II was edited by Scott
&c. Bone. clear down to the bone. It had
no comic sup" and no magazine see
ton. It. was newspaper, compact and
newsy Il marks reform which we hope
IS TO be continued.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

It is announced that the marty accom-
panying the President TO Panama viii be
very small Evidently Mr. TAFT is not
going
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

At least Count B0ni de Castellaue fits
pretty wei into the view Withdrawn end
Of the International marriage controversy
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Secretary Shaw says the Democrats
party has no principles" The Secretary
is mistaken; the Democratic party has
the most varied assortment OF principles
now owned by any known party on earth
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

The Washington Herald has none Of the
eaTmarlIs OF new paper. In fact, It
looks as II il had long been fixture in
Washington. The Herald ranks with the
very best newspapers Of the East and
We have no doubt Mr.. Bone VIII soon
realize that he is at the head Of great
national newspaper.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

That New York scenic artist who re-
Gently fel heir 90 n million viii probably
lead canvasback existence fer the bal
ance Of his DAYS
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Mr. Bryan and Senator Ia Toilette are
the two greatest knockers IN che country 70
notes a contemporary Probably that new
party they are reported O. be forming
is going 20 be a pound party.
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

\ man with a fierce looking mustache
bike Gov Magoon Is the boy to keep the
peace in Cuba all right
The Washington herald., 1906-10-20

Messenger boy No. % skipped out with
500 in New York the other day 1t IS now
up 10 messenger boy No. e 90 get busy.