davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
Luverne, MINI.
Lesson in Food Inspection.

Mr.. Smith came home with new
idea in his head. Mrs. Smith perceived
the symptoms afar-so did John and
little Sue-but no one knew what it
was until dinner, when he ordered a
glass of water to be placed at the side
of his plate.
CHOW, my DEAR he said to his
wife, g a great deal Of sickness could
be avoided if people would only take
simple precautions to see that their
spoons and forks were cleansed Of mi
crobes before conveying them to their
mouths; 7 he stopped. dipped his fork
in, the glass, and continued: StBy this
easy means my fork is cleaned, you
see, and I need not fear that disease
will enter my system by this common
I III. ..5s
sSssS Mrs. Smith and John and Sue were
properly impressed and rather relieved
that the idea would not affect their
own conf ort, ii
After a long silence. during which
Mr.. Smith had + become engrossed in
the, evening paper, the quiet Of the
room was suddenly broken by little
Sue Is voice:
!. a,oh; papa, you We drunked all ve
mikerubslo III. i.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08

looked as if the senate had cut dcwn
the appropriations for the Detroit post
office addition, cut out the $4,000
for the New York custom house, ripped
$4,000 off the Grand Rapids building
and generally gone all over the United
States with an axe chopping hunk Oft
wherever it could for the purpose of
making, < this 100000, enterprise go
thru. And then when the public build.
ing bill got into conference between
the two houses the house conferees re-
than no time Il it were mt for the
$3,OO0,OOO item. The senate conferees
were sticking for it, tooth and nall.
Finally, Friday night, the house took
the bit into it's teeth and by unani-
nous vote instructed it's. conferees not
stay here all summer, That seemed to
convince the senate that it was no use,
and SO all the. chunks Of the bill. which
the senate had cut out were restored,
all :. the. senate. additions except the
$3;Q00,000 item agreed to, and the bill
then passed by both houses in hurry.
81! What then was the surprise Of the
house leaders Saturday afternoon to
learn that after the president hal
signed the sundry civil bill in the presi-
dent g room. at the capitol, Secretary
casually reading it had discovered that
it contained the ubiquitous 100000.
He at once made loud noise and the
president and the others in the room
Gid the same, and then the speaker was
hastily notified Of the interesting dis,
coverv and q few minutes later Chair.
man Tawney of the house committee on
appropriations drew up and had rushed
thru both houses resolution repeating
the little joker that was so hard tt
down. I'll 49,, .....
At the same time the speaker is very
/ anxious to know. how it got into the
bill, and is having the government
printing office. and all the other offices
having anything to do with it investi
the irrepressible $3,OOO,o0O may not be
found later in some other bill, which
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
ABOUT THE STATE

Kasota township has a personal prop
erty valuation of $50, 900.
Fergus Falls claims a population Of
5000 from the assessors figures.
Delano wants custom mill.
There are 3S7 pupils in the Albert
Lea public school.
j. A. Leonard of the Rochester Post
been appointed council at Leith.
Hon. Mark H. Dunnel deliv-
cred Fourth Of July Grafton at Fari-
bault.
The Standard Oil company, 1t is said,
will establish supply depot at Duluth.
The new Jay Cook hotel was opened
at Moorhead last night with a great
jollification.
Albert Lea is raising stock subscrip-
ton to build steam mill and has about
S25, 900 subscribed already
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
BUILDING AND REALTY

II. G. Harrison is remodeling his
spacious residence, corner Nicollet
avenue and Eleventh street.
A. 2. lowering has purchased a lot
adjoining A. J. Deans on Twelfth
street. He will build a substantial
been torn down and made over, pre-
senting a very fine architectural ap-
pearance.
DR.. Lindley and F. D. Skies are re-
viving their intention of erecting
business block upon a splendid property
on Nicollet avenue. corner of Seventh
street. ~ .-=
The latest and most approved build
ing of its kind for some time projected
is an agricultural warehouse to be
erected by w. ]. Dean and C. H. Deere
on First street N, between the M. c.
KEGS store and the railroad tracks.
The O'Gorman estate at the corner of
st. Peter and Ninth streets, ST. Paul,
was sold yesterday at auction and re-
allied SO, 600. It was offered at privat tie
sale a few months ago at $4,000. st.
Paul real estate is booming.
~, Henry w Phelps this morning COM
Inenced the excavation preparatory to
the erection of a large business block
Tat Nos. 24S and $50 Hennepin avenue;
the building will be four stories in
height. of modern architecture and ar
| ranged expressly for wholesale business
Architect Dennis drew the plans.
Henry Vanderburgh has returned
from college and effectually set down
on the cherished hope of the occupants
of Hennepin avenue business property
who expected that the young mans
public spirit would prompt, him tc
further the scheme Of establishing q
hotel at the corner Of Fourth street.
The first half of the Pillsbury A mil
is completed for grinding. A trial OF
genuine grain was made yesterday, ane
Monday the regular run Of 1000 barrels
/ a day will begin. The Brush electric
| light for Illuminating purposes is being
| put in and the other half Is being
| pushed as rapidly as possible. Wher
| completed the mill will have capacity
of 1000 barrels
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
PERSONAL MENTION

The friends Of H. F. and Jennie Hurl-
burt are congratulating them upon the
advent of daughter, whose value can
not be estimated by her weight in gold.
Among the Minneapolis guests at Elk
celsior were: William Buckley and lady,
Lew Watson, John w. King, D. C. Dom
aldson, M. Gallagher, A. c. Shattuck
and George E. Bell.
Horace G. Dunno, city editor Of the
St. Paul Globe, left on the; 1:35 train
TODAY to enjoy his summer vacation. He
will visit, relatives in several cities in
the east, and will be absent about three
weeks. - " =; r. : -, -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
No Doubt of It.

The lesson was from the "Prodigal
Som and the Sunday school teacher
was dwelling on the character of the
elder brother. but amidst all the re-
lolc1ng,, he said, "there was one
brought no joy, to whom the prodigal 8
return gave no pleasure, but only Bit
terness; one who did not approve Of the
feast being held, and had no wish to
attend it. Now can any Of you tell
who this was9' s..E - 80 =.
There was a short silence, followed
by vigorous cracking Of thumbs, and
then from a dozen little mouths came
the chorus, "Please, sir, it was the
fatted calf.' j. NIX
Britton, S. D, ~,sa> - ~ -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
Her Idea Of Economv.

"And now, my dear" remarked the
newly married man to his pretty wife,
I'VE must practice little economy just
st tirst so that we can put something
aside for the proverbial rainy day. Now.
let me see, I will stop smoking, walk
down to business and back, come home
to lunch and shave myself. Andawhat
will you do, sweetheartq'
For a moment the pretty brow was
puckered in a perplexed frown; then
"a happy smile illumined her face.
"Why, Ell cut your hair she replied.
M TT r
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
TALK OF THE TOWN

'.--
Forepaugh's circus must have taken
$4,000 out of town.
Bintlifr & Hall, the job printers have
dissolved partnership and disposed Of
their business.
This is pay day at Fort Smelling and
Chiefs Munger and Weber. are on the
alert.
Charles s. Titus has donned his bear
skin cap and became drum major Of the
Danz band Charley is one of the best
and most skilful in his line Of business.
George A. Brackets night blooming
cereus will be exhibited this evening at
Cabels' drug store, under the Nicollet
house. This is no fancy but cereus
fact.
Postmaster Keith has presented A. A.
Ashenden. carrier No. 5, with a hand
some Episcopal prayer book In testi-
mony of appreciation Of long and eff
Gent services. Mr.. Ashenden has been
ON the force eight years.
Streetcars on all lines were crowded
on the Fourth and something like $4,000
people were transferred during the day.
A law should be passed governing the
capacity of buses land streetcars as
is done by some humane cities and the
|. exhibition of overloaded horses would
be avoided. s.l@5 80 90 49, . .?.l-ss
Rev. E. s.rWillians announced to his
congregation Sunday that the mortgage
and floating. debt Of the church are all
paid. The church people all over the
city will unite in congratulations to
the faithful and Woodworking Chris
tians. of the Second Congregational
church..
The Minneapolis Rifle club shoots to-
| morrow afternoon against the Washing
ton club Of Iowa. The men detailed to
/ shoot on the Minneapolis team are:
| Maudlin. Elliot, Hafiet, Skinner, Gibbs.
| Hankinson, Gallison, Libbey, Brown and
/ Guam. Ten shots each at 200 yards.
The steamer Minneapolis made her
| first appearance on the lake today and
is now one of the regular boats of the
Lake Minnetonka Navigation company
She is supposed to be the fastest boat
on the lake. Mr.. Dennis is captain
F.. D. o. Scott clerk.
| Colonel Belote Of st. Paul continues
his; improvement Of the metropolitan
hotel there. Today he received fifteen
new black walnut cane-seated chairs
to replace the old ones in the dining
room. They are heavy, solid and rich
IN appearance anu auQ Sredtly 70 lus
looks of the large and cheerful room.
The council committee on public
grounds, buildings and gas. met this
afternoon to consider the petition Of the
Minneapolis; Electric Light com pany 70,
an exclusive franchise for thirty years
| to Jay wires in, under and over streets
OF, the city. After considerable discus
sion the committee adjourns for two
weeks in order to obtain further light
| on the subject. ~ t-~ :
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
SECOND PRIZE.
This Story Gets So.
Mustn't Spoil the Wake,

The savory odors of boiling ham
reached the nostrils of an Irishman as
he lay on his deathbed, and, in spite of
his condition. the thought Of the unac-
customed deicacy made his mouth wa
ter. Calling his wife to his bedside he
said appealinglIy: ''Bridget, acush]ls,
Mt we lit me have jist wan taste of itg'
cit s sorrowful am, Moike, replied
the stricken woman, wiping her eyes.
II couldn't spare rag of it, for
there's no too much of it, an we know
darlin', I'm savin' it for the wake.''
Grace J. Linehan.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
Not the Snake Medicine.

IT will never forget my first ex-
perience in hospital work." said GER
tain surgeon.
HThere was a. green nurse in the de-
tention ward and we had very vio-
lent case in there-a man in the worst
stage of delirium tremens. I was
awakened in the middle of the night by
the head nurse, who requested me to
come at once to the patient. When I
got, there [ found him raving and very
Of her wits. I said:
"Why did you let him 90 so far9
I left you some medicine to give him
as soon as he got delirious. - .~-.'-
yes, DOCTOR she replied, 'but you
told ME to give that to him if he saw
any more snakes. and this time he was
seeing blue dogs with pink tails
Owatonna, MINI. M. X.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
THIRD PRIZE.
This Story Gets So.
Those Useless Questions.

John Kendrick Bangs was at one
time moving from his home in Yonkers,
N. Y. 1t was rainy day and before
the house stood the large moving vans,
and the porch and lawn were covered
with furniture. During an unusually
hard downpour, while Mr.. Bangs was
hurrying the movers, an acquaintance
passing asked.
ooh, are you moving, Mr.. Bangs9"
1t is such beautiful day, thought I
would get all the furniture out Of my
house and take it for a ride.''
"A p g
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
His Candidate.

District Attorney Jerome tells of q
certain citizen whom he encountered
on the last presidential election day.
Conversation was somewhat hampered
by the fact that the citizens vocabu-
larry was limited to about eighty five
words.
"Who'' and 'what' were evidently
one to him as yet, but he made himself
clear on one point.
"How long have you been in this
country?' he was asked.
"Ah bane one months,'' he answered.
care you going to vote?"
"Yah.' .,
"Whom are you going to vote for9'
"Ahm bane goin' vote for tan dol
lar was the selfsatisfed response.
Georgeville, MINI. &C. E. S.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08

: Pat had found employment and was
TO go to work at next morning.
On arriving home he happened to
think that he had no alarm clock to
wake him in the morning. In talking
the old lady or one Of the kids sit up
all night and wake Pat at $50.
Finally his wife hit upon a bright
idea.
t'Pat." she says, col till We what we
do. Ye go to Shape and Shape till just
half an hour before the 6 O'Clock
whistle blows. -
With that they went to bed.
- -. r D. Erickson
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08

cell of Scotch country police station,
when he made tremendous noise by
kicking the cell door with his heavy
boots. The constable who had charge.
going to the cell door, opened it a
little and said: oman, ye MIGHT pit
off yer butts an III gle them bit
rub, so that ye'n be respectable-like
when we come up afore the baillie the
morn.' .-.-.-. ..t p
The prisoner, f1attered at the request,
complied, and saw his mistake only
when the constable shut the door, say
ing: eye can kick AVA moo, my man,
as lang as we like R. S. B.
Lancaster, MINI. ~:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
The Seat of LEARNING

President Eliot of Harvard, on a
visit to the Pacific coast, met Professor
.; 3: johnson of the University of
une. In the course of the conversa-
tion President Eliot asked the west
erner what chair he held.
"Well,' said Professor johnson, 1T
am professor of biology, but I also
give instruction in meteorology, botany,
physiology, chemistry, entomology and
few others.''
~ should say that you occupied a.
whole settee, not chair,' replied Har-
wards chief. i. D. e.
Montevideo, MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
Let the Procession Pass.

A man having spent the evening with
kindred spirits, was returning home
thru park in a rather dazed frame of
mind MN Suddenly he bumped into tree
your pardon. I was out with the boys
and I am afraid I took a drop too
much. Thank you And, replacing
his hat, walked on few steps and
bumped into second tree. Again tax
ing off his hat he said: IT beg your
pardon, I IN sure; but I've been out
with, the boys and I imbibed a little
too freely. Thank YOU
Again he bumped into a tree after
a few steps. He started again. II
beg your pardon, IT, No, I'll be
id if I will. I'll Just sit down here
till the procession passes.'
p ; - Mrs. w. H. -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08

The Sioux Falls Paragraph says the
statement which. has been current in
the newspapers TO the effect. that a
license is necessary before people can
get married in that territory is not cor
in Dakota before he can get married is
the. consent Of the girl, and sometimes
also that of the old gossip mongers Of
the neighborhood.{ ~" =" =:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
DAKOTA DOTS

Vermillion has not had a railroad
depot since the flood.
On the 2Sth ult there was a large
herd of buffalo within thirty miles Of
Deadwood. .
Mayville is a new and flourishing
town on the Casselton branch, forty
miles northwest Of Fargo.
Canton thinks she is the proper place
for the location for the machine shops
for the Milwaukee road. Elk Point is
on the same lay. ..
The Bismarck Daily Tribune has en-
larged to eight pages and is the bright
est paper in North Dakota. 20
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
BlOckheads.

Some few years ago the aldermen
oh be aGVssb Hfld a. meeting to discuss
streets of that city. p.
After much unfavorable talk. one
enthusiastic, portly German arose and
said: "Shuntlemans, there is no yuse
talking, We must put our heads togedder
und make dot pavement
Utica, MINI. Fl n
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
Intelligent Dogs.

There was a Chinese who had three
dogs. When he came home one eve
ming he found them asleep on his couch
of teakwood and marble. He whipped
them and drove them forth. The next
night, when he came home, the dogs
were lying on the floor. But he placed
his hand on the couch and found it
was warm from their bodies. There
Se =? ga neh h9 re anGae eap a4
usual, he found the dogs sitting be-
fore the couch blowing on it to cool it.
e. WIN. Bydal.
Crnokston Mimi
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
Prizes for stories printed on this

Prizes for stories printed on this
page are awarded as Indicated. o..
For the coming week Jour
n | again offers SIS. first prize; So,
second prize, and So. third prize. for
Athe best story you ever heard"
1t Is not required that stories be
original, but new and good stories,
retoId In the writer's own words,
Will be considered In the competition.
Write only On one side of the paper,
giving name and address with each
story. Specify if you want your
Initials used as signature. Do not
send clippings or enclose stamps. as
manuscripts will not be returned.
Stories should not exceed 800 words,
and should be of z humorous nature.
Omit lntroductlons, and be brief.
Checks will be sent to prize winners.
Address, Best Story Editor, Jour-
nal, Minneapolis. MINI.
"F. NJ" Litchfield, MInn.. winner
Of third prize last week, should send
In his name and address.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
THE TRAVELLING MEMS PICNIC

The travelling men at Lake Park
amused themselves at their picnic with
aquatic sports of various kinds. The
rowing race was participated in by E.
J, Stillwell, Thomas Quincy. George
Greene and D. p Finch. The race was
won by Mr.. Finch. Distance. quarter
of mile; time, 1:071z.
For the tub race, Captain Will D.
Hawkins, Thomas Quincy and Howard
Keene entered. Mr. Keene took first
prize, Captain Hawkins of Quincy were
Idistanced s
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
She Did Not Smile,

"Almost H. sighed Mrs. Brooks.
looking at the clock, s'and George said
he ID stay only half an hour. - Just
then she heard him coming, and ran to
unlock the door. She noticed as he
entered that he was amused about
something. 49, r..
"Well, George, what is it," she
asked. =, 49," : ID
s.. Come sit down and I III tell you all
about it, he said. II was at an
auction" he began, "and the auc-
tioneer offered a silk hat to the man
who could! truthfully say that he never
looked with loving eyes at another
woman since his marriage" -.
HWel, a young man stepped up and
said he could honestly claim it.
How long have you been mar
ried9' the auctioneer asked him.
Since last night,' said the young
man. And George laughed. But
WHEY never smiled. 49,.
mWell, why. don't you laugh" he
"Oh, was just thinking, - she said
m Nv you didn It STEP up and claim the
Marshfeld, Wis.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08

around the box and gave it good long
lick. In few moments he put on his
hat and started for his mule. AS he
passed the store Mr.. Allen hailed him.
Well. Jerry, what did you think of
that lunch?' .%.4s
The old darkey scratched his head
and then said: ~ tell you de truf,
Marse John, dem crackers wuz all
right, but dat was de ransomest cheese
I ever et.'' q" .~ -G. E.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
Annals Sentence,

One day at school a small girl was
told to find the meaning Of the word
ventilate, and then to make sentence
with the word.
The next morning the. teacher said,
>M Anna, did, you find the meaning of
%sY eG MAN, said Anna, "it means
to FAM r
"Then make sentence with the
word,' said the teacher. 49,: g.,
"They are going to ventilate the
queen,'' replied Anna promptly. JIG
Miss Cecil Harvey.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
TAFT, THIS ] !! WEEK I: !. |. MAY |
LAUNCH HIS: 0NkB0GM
-
5gkF7- T IEIatt t,<ys+sss
Secretary $ Address in North Car z
: y DINA May, Signify Presi-
4 Dental Candidacy.
~---.-.. -.s.E-sa,s--.,-y, Oh -..-
BY w. W. Jermane.

Washington. July 7.-Secretary Taft
has promised to deliver an address be-
fore the North Carolina republican state
convention, at Greensboro, July 9, and
a story comes out Of. that state to the
effect that this address will mark the
opening of his campaign for the presi;,
Dental nomination. Vice President
among North Carolina republicans, and
SO Secretary Taft's. trip, if, indeed, it
has behind it the furthering Of his al,
legged presidential ambition, is in effect
an invasion of the enemy's country.
AS a matter of fact, however, no
body knows whether Secretary Taft
will stand for. the presidential nomina-
would, and in 50 far as he has spoken
at all, it has been suggested that he
would not. President Roosevelt, how
ever, would like to see Taft the next
occupant Of the White House, and he
has so said to several callers during
the past six weeks. On one occasion,
he entered quite extensively into the
arguments in favor of the Taft candi-
dacy. He concluded by saying that he
struggle, preferring a judicial career,
and that for that reason he would be
the last man to, urge him to change his
plans. If Taft were to run for the
presidency on my say SO, and against
his own inclination, and be defeated, 1
could never forgive myself the presi-
dent is reported as having said.
The supreme court appointment will
be held open until fall, until which
time Mr.. Taft will be free to .revolve
the question Of his future in his mind
without interference. Even the presi-
dent doesn It know what Taft's inten-
tions are, and it. is believed that Taft
himself has not decided. The North
! Carolina story, therefore, is hardly
founded on fact; at least, on any fact
that has thus far been developed.
Speaker Cannon is to spend consider
able time in Washington in the imme-
| Giate future, and one reason for doing
Sc is a 100000 reason. He wants to
know how it was that section appro-
priating that tidy sum for the purchase
Of a new site for new departmental
building crept into the s;lndry civil
appropriation bill, after being semphati-
cally rejected by the house, was en-
| crossed In the same and was only dis
covered after the president had signed
the bill.
There was something mysterious
about the persistence with which this
! big plan for new building stuck to
congress during the last days of the
! session. It first came up in the sundry
civil bill, and when the house knocked
/ it out there it came up again in the
public building bill, after that meas
ure reached the senate. Indeed il
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08
~ w .. w.
1886 Chicago avenue, city.
He Couldn't Bend.

A young man engaged board and
lodging in private family who were
extremely devout. Before each meal
long grace was said. To their dis
may and horror the new boarder sat
bolt upright while the others at table
reverently bowed their heads. When
the second day passed. and the young
man evineed no disposition to unbend,
the. good lady of the house could en-
dure the situation no longer. NJ j.
tAtheism?" asked she sharply.
emo, madam humbly responded the
new boarder; "boil.' II. E.IG.
MontevideO. MINI.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1906-07-08

Wlnona has a new afternoon paper
called the Tribune, published by F. w.
fiint' F. R. Morrisy and O. K. Jones.
we nave received the last number
which appears to be O. X, H..