Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1906-06-29
DRIFTwOOD

BY LUE F. VERNON.

AS to the empty barrel story, there
is nothing in it.
The population of Fairbanks. Alas.
ka, is estimated at 5000.
The Tacoma News is the best edited
evening paper in the State.
II each person saved every cent he
got his hands on, how would any one
live?
A woman has to be mighty fat to
really want to go horseback riding
early in the morning.
The soda-fountain has throwed off
its coat, so to speak, and commenced
work for the Summer.
Nothing in strikes, either in labor
or baseball circles. In either in
| stance it is O case of "out."
The P.-I. will find it has undertaken
4 difficult task-ttat of educating its
readers in the method OF short SPELL
ing.
"Why do you weep, fair maid?' l cried,
IL am SO happy, sir" she sighed,
"Then why" / said this awful fuss?"
She walled: I" It's 80 monotOnous!'
A new candle appears white and
clean yet one cannot tell by looking at
it what its makeup" entirely con-
sists of.
The pot may call the kettle black
but if she is a female pot she will
argue that black is becoming to her,
anyhow.
| Brvan is a-caming,
! Watch Republicans frown,
| No use wcepin' waiting,
| William won't stay down.
We do not approve OF it, but it was
to be expected that the funny man
would begin to wonder whether Kuro.
pat-kin or not.
| have never been to an afternoon
tea, but was in place yesterday
where thirteen talking machines were
all going at the same time.
| In modern speculation
Your language you must choose,
It's an investment If you win,
| But gambling if you lose.
To smoke fine cigar, after a real
dinner, with a good friend, is about as
near Heaven on Earth as the average
man will ever find south of the stars.
Bakers are being prosecuted in
| Toronto, Canada, for baking bread ON
Sunday. Thus, stale bread will be
added to the other miseries Of wash
day.
The Dunkards are to change their
names and will hereafter be known as
German Baptists. This is pleasing;
the old name was confusing to the eye
and ear.
If q man works as hard as possible,
and saves as rigidly as possible, he will
| never come to destitute old age, un.
less, OF course, he has the constitution
| of an OK.
Pa. how are laws made?"
"By men,"
"Are they hand nader"
"No. they are made by political
machinery"
II the army officers located at San
Francisco don't need an investigation
Uncle Sam must be blind. All the
Sultans. il seems from reports, do not
live in Turkey.
The rich should get out and mingle
with the poor occasionally, in order
that the poor may learn upon closer
inspection that there is no cause for
envying them.
You never miss the water Of Puget
Sound until you are doomed for GER
tain period of time to exist on the
desert sands. among the sage brush
and cactus OF Arizona.
There is nothing more fatal to q
political career than brilliant i'm.
promptus and spirited orations. A
statesmen's words, like butchers meat,
should be we'll weighed.
1t seems to me it is impossible for
the moon to be inhabited. When it
is full it is all right, but when it wanes
down TO little crescent, where the
deuce would all the people 60?
An Olympia swain told his sweet.
heart that life was not worth living
without her, and the ice-cream eating
young lady, answered that the living
he earned wasn't worth the life.
The book agent, circus barker, nor
the local fisherman, is in for q mo.
ment with the man who has charge of
the circulation department OF the
average yellow daily newspaper.
Four tons Of gold arrive. ."-P.-L.
The ost.Intelligencer does not state
how many tons OF hardship and dis
comfort were required of the individ-
uals VINO helped gather the yellow
metal.
Gasoline automobiles remind one of
Mark Twain's remark to . " medium"
who requested him to follow her
through a dark passage" You just
keep on breathing and 1 can follow
you anywhere"
| The Buffalo man who has sued a
girl for breaking his rib, in the course
of loving hug, can consider himself
fortunate. He might have been rash
enough to marry her and had his
financial resources broken.
Mcbride can and will think some
deep "thinks" in his own heart about
his friends. He may support the
candidate for Governor. yet he is only
human, and he knows in his own
brain that he is much disappointed
political has BEEN"
Now that June is waning and the
echo of wedding bells still echo in the
ear, We hasten to suggest to the young
men who find billing and cooling so
delicious. before marriage that, strange
as il may seem, billing is the chief