davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
IFrom the Phils,deIpbsa RECORD

From the Philadelphia Record
Some people are of no more account
day.
Many a man is out for the rocks
who doesn't know anything about
geology.
Talk is cheap, unless you happen to
be baseball player. and talk back to
the umpire.
When the doctors son becomes an
undertaken we may be justified in say
ing that ne takes after his father.
The trouble with the people who
claim it IS never too late to mend Is
that they are never in a hurry to be-
gin.
Wigg-.sDoes every clergyman take
orders?t' Wagg-'sWeli. I believe there
are some few OF them that never get
married"
The difference between the pluto
crat and the pauper is that one is GO
ing to Europe and the other has just
come from there.
Blobbs-'sWhat sort of fellow IL
Bjonesz" SIobbs-''He's the sort Of
fellow who can go to a church So
cable and really enjoy himself"
Scribb1er-'tHow do you like my
new piay?'' Guzzler-''It's all right
but the second act. You ought to cut
It. It's a long time between drinks"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
JOURNAL ENTRIES

It Is announced that w 7. Morgan
viii spend considerable time at Mu-
mich and Pilsen during his present
European trip. Query: VIII he make
the acquaintance of the Prince at
the latter place?
Speaking of attractive figures,
what's the matter with that Of Miss
Krupp of Germany. whose fortune
amounts to $150,O00,0O0 Aren't
those figures attractive enough?
Manhattan claims to have felt an
other earthquake shock. 1t was at
Manhattan that the earthquake last
year was most severe. AS we under
stand It. Manhattan is the San Fran
cisco of Kansas.
One would naturally suppose that
Mrs. Yerkes- Miner was getting
enough advertising without resorting
to an appendicitis operation to aug
ment it.
The annual row between Dave
Blaine and T B. Gerow was some
what delayed in transit this year, but
It finally got here in good shape. and
is as healthy and active as any of it's
predecessors.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
THE AUTO AND THE TDIOT.


The Auto and the Idiot
Came noting on the scene;
The air was full Of violets
And doors fresh and clean
And that was odd, because you see.
Their fuel was gasoline.
20 glory!" cried the idiot,
We're forging right ahead.
II / had wheels uDon my feet,
I'd also run" he said.
The Auto moaned: 1T is q shame
Your wheels are in your head!'
The Auto and the Idiot
Ran back into q fence
ITO steering" said the idiot
Z m giving thought intense"
And that was odd, because you know
He hadn't any sense.
Adown a pleasant country lane
They Journeyed fast and far,
Until they spied a gentleman
A-smoking his cigar
III hit him hard - the Auto cried
And minimize the jar
Across the quiet gentleman
Right merrily they sped,
Pedestrians should look alive"
The busy Auto said
And this remark was odd because,
The gentleman was dead
Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

Secretary of Agriculture Wilson, in
an address to a delegation Of farmers.
won hearty applause with the following
anecdote:
Il overheard a dialogue between two
well dressed men at lunch the other
da~.
The first man.as he helped himself to
asparagus, said:
BY the way. you said Johnson was
a farmer, didn't your
Good gracious, mol returned the
other man. I said he made his for
tune cut of wheat Did you ever hear
of a farmer doing that?' The Argon-
an
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

sent to the san Francisco sufferers.
There are rumors that supplies, espec-
tally -four, sent to the relief committee
have been sold, while there has been
actual need Of It by suffesing people.
For the sake OF our faith in humanity.
If for no other reason. it is to be
hoped that the charges are untrue. We
ought not to be compelled to believe
that grafters are guilty Of prsying on
the helpless and needy victims of that
great disaster on the Pacific.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
Full LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
HoaFE News WHILE away.

Subscribers OF the state journal
away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
90 any address at the rate Of ten cents
8 week or thirty cents 8 month (by
mail only. Address changed as often
as desired. While out Of town the
State journal viii be to you Ike a
daily letter from home
Advance payment is requested on
esess short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
REFLECTIoNs 81 a BAcHELoR.
IFrom the New York Press.I

lbTom the New 1ork Press-1
You never hear any religious dis
cushions on q fishing party.
When the children's vacation begins
everybody e1se's IN the house ends.
It's funny the way a woman's figure
moves up and down her according to
the fashion.
A queer thing about a girl is the
surer she is you are IN love with her
the surer she isn't about herself.
If man has a half-dollar he isn't
sure whether It Is good or not, it Is q
sign It Is going into the church COLI
lection plata.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
KANSAS COMGENT
HoCH AND STUDIES.

HOCH AND STUBBS
If we understand It correctly 1t is
something like this: Stubs entered
the political arena for the good OF the
state. He had no selfish designs, he
did not ask Hoch for any Office and
wanted none The governor wanted
10 force an Office on him but hated to
against his wishes and so proceeded
to hand out the offices where he
thought they would do the most good
ana TO people he thought wanted them.
Now Stubs is mad and accuses Hoch
OF ingratitude and several other weak
nesses for not forcing an Office on him.
Stubbs claims that he made Hoch and
6och int1nates that he made Stubs.
Just what credit either Of them expects
to receive provided they both establish
their contention, is q little difficult to
1t is evidently a case in which two
average good and fairly honest men
get crosswise at each other and the
more they discuss their difference the
worse the nuddle becomes. The worst
feature of the case is that there are
large number of Republicans in the
state in addition to all the Democrats
who feel q good deal like Macbeth ex-
pressed himself to MacDuff, and the
result is likely to endanger the success
OF the Republican ticket. If there was
a matter of principle that AFFECTED any
vital interests of the people involved
Stubs and Dolley might be justified
IN making the matter subject Of pub
lie controversy, but really not one out
of a thousand voters of the state cares
snap for Stubs disappointed ambi-
tion.-Holton Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

Among the hrst things that sena-
Tor Dupont Of Delaware won't do will
be to Introduce resolution asking
for an investigation OF the powder
t----k
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
LIGHT Makes RIGHT.

No one can doubt that the business
of the country is today on better NOR
al basis than it was before the expos
ure Of the misconduct OF the life in
surance. Light is the great enemy Of
orruption.-Louisville Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

Congress is beginning to see an ad-
5ourument ahead OF It. It's about
time for Mr.. Roosevelt to bring out
smother little job for congress to do,
before It goes home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

The Los Angeles Times thinks secre-
tary Tafts personal appearance is elo-
uuently illustrative of Republican pros
perity. In other words, Republican
prosperity has a 6O-fnch girth.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
HUMOR or TIE Day

He.Did you tell your father that was
His Fianeee-I did ana he refused TO
believe It. Said he had read your book
Chicago News.
what's the difference between vision
see those two girls across the street7'
Wen. the pretty one I would call a
vision of loneliness, but the other one
she's sight."-Cleveiand Plain Dealer.
The paying teller On Day and Night
Bank, at a. n1l-But this doesn't resen-
Mr.. Klubman-Reg lar night signature,
Of boy. Darn lucky I (hic) didn't have TO
make my misunderstanding Life.
why don't you come out boldly for re-
what's the use2' asked Senator sor-
ghum. IF your constituency won't back
you up2 I'm willing to be reformer. but
I'm no martyr. w ashington Star
The pitchers seem to have cut on the
spit ball this year" remarked the Chicago
Yes rejoined her Boston cousin. '.the
saliva sphere has been expatristed. Chi
cago News.
When did you arst become acquainted
The first time asked him for money
after we were married. Life.
Lady lat railway refreshment counter1-
&
Waitres-WilI you eat it here or in
bag2-Punch.
Charley is SO poeticaI when accepted
him he said he felt like an Immigrant en-
tering a new world"
Wen, he was Ike an immigrant
What do you meauY
wasn't he just iandedT'-Louisvills
Courier-JournaI.
First Burglar-Did Bnl git much out Nv
Second Burgisr.So. He got so little dat
Judge.
DO you think the municipal ownsrship
would eliminate graf? p
an not asite sure, answered Ssns-
it or simply originate a new kind ~
Washington Star
GRACIOUS. my dear" said the first So
ciety belle. spttefully; Il do hope yours
not i'll. You look SO much older toniRht -
-, I'm quite well. thank you. dear, re-
lively young, '-Phiiadeiphia Ledger. ~
.'Of course" said the architect. ..vou
will want a porte cochere."
Sure replied Mrs N1rich: wen vsanf
big one with glass dingie-dangies on It
hangin from the parlor ceilin'. ''-Phila-
delphia Press
II don't object to hearing a man brar
about his ancestors. observed Uncla AZ
len Sparks, IF that's all he hae IA hrasy
about It comforts him and doesn't hurt
the ancestors any. They're dead. ''-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Little Girl-oh, Mr. Policeman. Won't
over there have tied a can to a poor dog
gie's tall
Little Girl-No, sir. but it's my can
F'iiegende Batter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

But why shouldn't the country pay
the car fare OF the president while he
As travelling about over It? It pays
members Of congress twenty cents
niie for their travelling expenses-and
they usually ride on passes
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

It may not be to the credit Of man
kind. but Ia this world no man is
given a chance. # he wants a
chance he has to throw it down and
sit on its neek.-Columbia State.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

italy would like to hold an art exhibit
costing six million lires. Why doesn't
italy first hold an election and then al
low the defeated candidates to pick
out the liars. She would get them all
right IN that way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

If Senator Benson has to examine
and dispose of all the useless doeu-
ments sent to congress, what he needs
is a dray instead of a messenger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

The railroads have cut their time
fbetwean washington and New York
from I'VE hours to four hours and
faalf. Members OF congress find It
necessary to reach New York in
hurry some times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

Have the women's clubs yet started
g petition asking that Senator Plat
be expelled, as a result OF Mae
woods latest story?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

isn't another eruption from Chan
eeilor Day about due? The govern
nnent Investigations Of the Standard
are proceeding
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

The Democrats Of Vermont are about
20 nominate a ticket. No excuse is
given. but It is supposed they are try
ing to keep up with the Republicans of
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

Rev. Charles NJ. Sheldon is a vege-
aariau but he denies that he was
scared into 1t by 1.-THE Jungle
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

II has been some time now since
the washington correspondents have
had time to offer Secretary Taft his
choice Of a place on the supreme
bench and one at the head of the
table IN the White House.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

The Commoner speaks Of him as
professor Coburn." Now what do you.
.4hink Of that2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

Although Chancellor Day has come
out against Roosevelt, 1t does not fol-
low that he will be IN favor Of Bryan.
On the contrary, to support Bryan
would probably give him spasms. Chan
cellor Day may be left up in the air
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

Now that the type OF the canal has
been decided upon, let the digging
be pushed as rapidly as possible
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
THE VERY. VFRY" DAYS

the audacious Mr.. Wadsworth. These
are the very, very days Of law-nalx-
ing, and when they are over everybody
viii be very, very glad.-Springfeld
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

81 Is sincerely to be hoped that We
ire not to be treated to a scandal be-
saure OF misappropriation Of relief
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
BIG RESPONSIBILITY.

The president appears to feel that in
the present emergency he has to do the
talking for something like sc. 000, 600
Of people. and he has no disposition to
shirk the job.-Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

Mr.. and AIRS. AIlce Roosevelt must
admit that II AZ I'd. VII has been
behaving real ne1ghborly. Richmond
Times -Disna4eh.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

Charley is SO poetIcsI. When I accepted
him he said he felt like an Immigrant en-
tering a new world
We'll he was like an IMMIGRANT -
What do you mean?'
Wasn't he just landed 7'-IouisvilIe
Courier Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

There is an impression abroad that
courts are not amenable to public
sentiment least of all federal courts.
That this impression Is erroneous is
shown by recent convictions OF high
offenders Four or i've years ago, be-
fore Mr.. Roosevelt began his cam
paign for the square deal and law
enforcement. it would have been al
most impossible to have even indicted
high criminals for violating the anti
trust laws. Now, what change has
comet Note the penalties that were
handed out to powerful Iaw-breakers
at Kansas City last week.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

Here IS the natural inference which
Washington draws. as expressed by
the Post: "a western newspaper
calls attention to the fact that sena-
tor Benson has short legs They viii
probably yield to treatment before he
Is elected for another term"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

First Burglar-Did BIZ git much out Nv
dat last burglary?
Second Burglar-No. He got so little dat
his lawyer advised him to plead guilty
Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
Superstition Hampers Fever Fiebters.

superstition Hampers Fever Fighters.
Being of an inquiring turn of mind,
the Italian secured a sample of the
copper sulphate, which he took to a
druggist, demanding to know what it
was. Poison" said the druggist. That
settled it in Caruso's mind. DIR. Eustis
was an emissary from the murderous
rich, hired to poison his well and wipe
out his household. Caruso announced
to his friends his intention of opening
up Dr.. Eustis to the light Of day, and
exhibited a nine-inch knife with which
he proposed to do it. Warning reached
Eustis, who sent for Caruso to come to
his Office and bring along the alleged
poison. CarusO came, bearing knife
and poison both. Of course, what the
physician wanted was to allay the sus-
picion that the doctors were poisoning
wells, as otherwise the whole district
would be aroused against him and his
work would be seriously hampered, If
indeed, he escaped with a whole skin.
So he explained to CarusO that is his
COWS died they would be paid for. and
that tn tuf in the well was not poison.
Just to show YOU said he, give me
that piece you've got there, and I'll eat
some of it."
still suspicious. the visitor handed
over the bit of copper sulphate which
he had brought. Biting off a corner Of
it the physician handed the rest back.
At first Carus0 looked dubious; then, Is
the American well disturber didn't curl
up and die he began to think better
of it. He inquired what he had best
do about his cows, and was getting
quite friendly when Eustis began to re-
alize that he had bitten off a larger
piece of the copper sulphate than he
had intended This substance is an
active emetic. It wouldn't do at all.
Eustis knew. to exhibit any disturb
ance, or the Italians suspicious would
return tenfold. With a fine assumption
of good fellowship he patted his visitor
on the shoulder. told him he was sorry
he couldn't talk any longer but this
was a busy day. hustled him cordially
out. shook hands. slammed the door
and-after that the deluge. But the
situation was saved. - From yellow
Fever: A Problem Solved by Samuel
Hopkins Adams in the June Mcclure s.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

DO you think the municipal ownsrshiu
would eliminate graft2'
Il am not deite sure" answered ssna-
tor Sorghum, whether It would slirninafe
It or simply originate a new kind -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
FE0E OTTER PENS
A sINGrLAR VIEW.

We notice two persons who seem to
be talking about what they don't IN
derstand One is priest-in Roches-
ter. wasn't it?-who rebuked the wo-
men OF his congregation for wearing
what are vulgarly called .peek-a- boo
waists such as most women now
wear. This persons idea was that wo-
mems Garments should hide as much
of them as possible as effectively as
possible. 4 view not necessarily a1tribu-
table so much TO coarse mind as to
limited experience of life. The other
mistaken speaker was Miss Louisa Lee
Hardin. of Denver, president of the Ma
tional Business Wenen's league, who
said. in an address in q convention at
Chicago Marriage is but an incident
in the life of a man; why should it
net be so in the life Of woman?" A
proper sentiment. perhaps. for a pro
fessional business woman, but mighty
bad sentiment for any one who is
thinking of getting married. Anybody,
man or woman, who thinks marriage
is q mere incident should stick immov-
ably to single life.-Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

Lady lat railway refreshment counter1-
VIII you please give me q Bath bun2
Waitress-Will you eat it here or in a
bag2-Punch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
a Calculating Husband.

Soon after four in the morning the
husband returned home in the usual
state of intoxication. He was lucky in
getting the key to fit the lock at the
tenth try. but as he literally climbed
the stairs an unfortunate side-slip
aroused his wife. When he reached
the bedroom his wife. whose tongue
was fond of exercise, gave afprolonged
exhibition of shrewish oratory. In con-
clusion, she lamented the fate that had
tied her to a man who came home at
four in the morning. My dear ex-
postul2ted the husband, f'itsh only one
clock. Just now heard it strike one
several times mosht Distinctly. Tat
Ter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

when did you hrgt become acquainted
with your husband?''
The first time I asked him for money
after we were married. Life
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
DEMAND FOR TARIFF REVISION

Governor Cunmins stands aggressive
ly fer the Iowa idea, which demands
that every schedule which shelters
monopoly be cut out of our tariff leg
islation. Revolt against this idea re-
tired Spea ker Henderson from the house
of representa- tives. The Iowa represen-
tatives in congress have tried in vain to
suppress it. The power of the national
Republican organization has been put
forth to crush if. The Republican, sec
rotary of the treasury has, in the pres
ent campaign, done his best to defeat
Governor Cummins' denomination. And
yet it seems almost assured that the
apostle Of tariff revision will go into
the Iowa Republican convention with
a majority Of the delegates pledged to
his support. The voice of Iowa Repub-
ncanisn, suppressed in congress- seems
more than likely in this convention to
proclaim the Iowa demand for relief
from the monopoly tariff system which
Republican leaders claim is necessary
to the existence of their party.-St.
Louis Republic
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
AGRICULTURAL. NOTE.

We have a lot of faith in the man
who stirs the top of his ground in some
way or other after every rain until
the ears hang down. He usually has
corn to sell and to keep. At the pres
ent price for corn it doesn't pay to let
any get away because a little more
work was required to save it. Let the
moisture come up through the corn
roots instead of through a hard crust
on the surface. It viii last longer and
make more corn. The best authorities
say there is nothing that viii hold
moisture in the ground so well as a
dust mulch on top. Water climbs out
Of packed ground just as oil in a lamp
climbs up the wick, and the wind car
ries it off; but a dust mulch breaks
the connection, and the plant roots In
stead Of the wind takes up the mois-
ture. Everybody knows this, but it
takes consider able extra work to get
the benefit Of such dge.-Jewell
Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
IE

If men were as persistent home build
ers as these pesly spanrows there
would be few renters in this country
Mack Gretchen.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
FUNNY.

Isn't this just a little funny? Tom
johnson has written 10 Bryan at Con-
stantinople that The had better hurry
home, as lot of people whose support
might be dangerous are becoming
mighty enthusiastic shouters for him. -
Howard Courant
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

THE pitchers seem to have cut on the
spit ball this year. remarked the ChicaEo
girl IN the grandstand-
Yes" rejoined her Boston cousin. the
saliva. sphere has been expatriated. Chi
cago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

]. K. Codding has taken a contract
from the State Temperance Union to
close all the joints in Kansas. We were
just thinking what a pretty race it
would be between a man who attempt
ed to dig the Panama canal with a
case Knife and Mr. Codding.- Osborne
Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27
AN TNOUIRY.

The county attorney of Shawnee
county is surprised to learn that drug
sales Of poison they make. Can it he
possible that the county attorney has
just caught on that the drug stores dis
pense ze2-Osborne Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

Gracious! my dear" said the frst So
ciety belle. spttefuily; Il do hope yours
not i'll. You look so much older tonight -
I'm quite well thank you, dear re-
piled the other. And you-how wonder
fully improved you are. You look posi-
lively young. '-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

a poet7
HIS Fianeee--I. did ana he refused TO
believe it. Said he had read your book
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1906-06-27

why don't you come out boldly for re-
form2"
What's the use2' asked Senator Sor-
ghum. IF your constituency won't back
you up? I'm willing to be a reformer. but