The news-democrat. (Providence, R.I.) 1906-1909, 1906-09-21

NPp'ois Aildl a. ''A N'Aif'
printer about town overheard by rumor.
that very Intimate friend OF his had
taken carbolic acid. either by intent or
rnistake-the rumor was not definite.
Jim-we will call him Jim-got to work
at once and began telephoning all around
In the hopes that he could find out the
truth or falsity of the report He tried
half dozen places but they hadn't heard
Of anything happening to Bill Eve will
call him BID, and then he began 20 get
mo mo commnnicaion with the various hos
pltals of the city inquiring II Bill-was
there sunering from a does OF carbolic
acid. The answer i'm every instance was
that they had no patient by that name.
jim was at his wits end for information,
and his friendship for Bill grew in
warmth In each moment OF suspense.
jim don't frequent cafes very often,
but he did this day. for he was all un-
strung and wanted "bracer" for the
nerves
In the first cafe he met Bill.
For Heavens sake. old man." ex-
claimed Jim, l thought you'd taken car
bolic acid!"
"Carbolic acid, Me take carbolic acid
Not much! Say what's the matter with
you, Jim, anyway" replied Bill.
Well maybe | haven't made a fool Of
myself" responded Jim, Say. I've been
telephoning all over the town trying TO
hnd out IL you'd taken the stuff-kept the
hospitals all busy looking for you, and
now | find you here just as At as a fid-
die. Well. me for the foolish factory
Not yet but soon!'
mo carbolic acid for me!' replied Bill.
But, say here old man" soberly replied
Jim, you've made me make a fool of
myself In all those places-a regular
blankety blank fool. you know-why
don't you make good anyway-Just take
the carbolic acid"
Can you beat this for real genuine
friendship.
Did you ever notice said the Observ-
ant Man, how many of the women now
a-days have the fifth or sixth button of
their button-up- behind waist. unbuttoned.
/ was sitting in the theatre. the other
night with my finance-I mean my flance,
and the thought struck me so forcibly
that began TO rubber about in order to
see just how many women there really
were present who'd missed that fifth or
sixth button.
DO you see her here" frigidly re-
marked my young lady. who had evident
ly noted my ruber-neck contotions. ITS
"a pity-you could pay attention either TO
me or the performance-one or the
other"
OF course her remark sorter brought
me ito, so TO speak. and told her that
there was no other her in IL except
her, and then went on to explain the real
cause of my nevk variations.
"She mellowed up some--a good bit, In
fact and In her way explained TO me the
cause OF the fifth or sixth button remain
ing unbuttoned. "'You see" she went
on 20 say. "it's only just because that
NTH or sixth button is at the point that
the woman n can't reach--either up or down.
BY a whole lot Of squirming and twist
ing, we can reach all the rest. but one
would really have TO be a contortionist
To get them all. Consequently we leave
IL unbuttoned, hoping 10 meet some dear
friend who will help us out OF our predica-
ment and, well, we generally forget all
about Il. Now, you see don't you. dear.
and say-just look around and see II
If mine is buttoned will you'll it's not,
please fix II, dear'?'