The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1906-06-01

II say, Jean, won't you lend Paul a
flyer" Does he need 1t badlyT II
should say sol He wants to pay bach
what lie owes me"-Les Annales.
First Old Lady-He was bad char.
acter; but believe he repented at last
Second Old Lady-Oh, no, he didn't,
saw that he died intestate.-Londop
Globe.
Whats beautiful hat you're wearing
to-day "I'm so glad you like 1t. You
have such good taste" Eyes, 1 had
one just like it-last year."-Meggen-
dorfer Batter.
Poor old Henpeck leads a dogs life
with his wife," "Well, why on earth
doesn't he apply for a divorceY HE
says he wanted to, but she wouldn't
let him."-Ex.
II a man smiles and looks pleased
when you pay him a compliment, pay
him, another one. In time you may be
able to borrow money from him.-som,
erville Journal.
my DOCTOR" said Billyuns, has or
dered me to take more exercise"
What are you goingt to do?" "Have
the ticker moved across the room from
my desk."-Ex.
Young Mother-The doctor says you
shouldn't kiss the baby; 1t isn't sani-
tary. Old Neighbor-Poor little fel.
low-wny don't you wash him DE.
troit Free Press.
Victim-What has happened7 Where
am u Doctor-You have been serious.
ly injured in a trolley accident But
cheer up-you will recover. Victim
How much ?-Ex.
Bank Cashier-You have overdrawn
your account, madam. Lovely Lady
That is just like me! My husband says
/ am always exaggerating everything.
-Somerville Journal.
Mamma-Of course you said, "oh,
this is so suddenw when Tom finally
proposed. Daughter-No; l fully In
tended to, but was so excited l for.
got, and exclaimed, AT lastv-Ex.
"Oh. Mr.. Brown. why did you leave
the Christian Science church," "Reai
ly, Miss Jones, If you will have the
truth, got so awfully tired Of being
so persistently cheerful all the time"
Life.
First Author-Have you sold many
copies of your book? Second Author
(absently)-Wonderf Over hun.
dred thousand First Author-When
was 1t issued? Second Authorized
Tuesday.-Life.
Mother-Bobby, begged papa for
an hour to-day to buy a pony, but he
won't do 1t. Bobby Indignantly.
Why didn't you burst into tearsi
Couldn't you do that much for me?-
New York Mail.
II understand that your boy is get
ting an education" "Yassuh," answer.
ed Uncle Raspberry, IAN mebbe he's
dom better'n dat. honestly b'lievea
he's gittin' sense along wifi it,
Washington Star.
did tn docther find out what It is
that's ailin' yezT mo. He said thu
nawthin' but a postmortem examina-
ton wud iver reveal ut. An haven't
enough curiosity about ut to have ut
done."-Cleveland Leader.
Dear pop" wrote the boy from the
art school, don't send me any more
money! have saved half that which
you sent me last month" "Come
home" wired the old man, you'll
never make an st."-Puck.
Chief-Do you mean to say that you
haven't been able to get single clew
as to the perpetrator of this crime I
Detective-Naw. Them newspaper re-
porters is down on me and they won't
tell me anything.-Cleveland Leader.
Reporter understand that one of
your guests committed suicide last
night by hanging himself out of a
third-story window Lodging house
Keeper-Well, there was such a room
er in the air for a while.-Town Top
les.
Alice rushed in from the garden,
where she had been picking fiowerA
She was badly stung by a bee, ana
was holding on to her finger and Sob
bling pitifully. "Oh, mamma" she
cried, II burned me on a bugr'-
BrooklyI~Ei
Young Lady repeating conversation
to deaf old gentleman)-Miss Frills
says 1t gave her such a fright. Deaf
Old Gent-Eh? l didn't quite
Young Lady-Such fright! Deaf Old
Gent-Ah, yes-I agree with you-so
she isl-Punch.
II suppose, madam" said the archi.
tect, you will want an electrolier put
in the drawing-room" "Sure," an
swered Mrs. Neurich; 81 don't know
how to play one, but I'll begin taking
lessons at once, regardless of COST
Chicago Daily News.
"By the way, what has become of
Browns book. One Hundred Short
Cuts to Wealth. that he was working
SO hard upon last Year, "Oh, Brown
finished the book all right but was
unable to raise money enough to have
1t ublished."-Judge.
"Perkins-you know Perkins-enter.