Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1906-03-15
NO 4.
Man About Town.
MAKING OF A MAGAzINp

! MAKING OF A MAGAZINE
To make a modern magazine.
Take, say, three hundred pages.
Fill three of these with photographs
OF gra1ters, statesmen, sages;
Ofsonnets, here and there, use one
To finish up page,
And devote full twentypages
To the people of the stage.
| Three very smart short stories
Motar car in every one
| Fill the rest with advertising,
And your magazine is done.
Washington Post.
Our Postmaster says man in Cam
eron proposed to young lady in this
town on postal card. She replied by
letter and he did not see the answer.
-
There is on exhibition in a down
town store a collar that has been
through the laundry three times and is
not worn out.
One of Uncle Peters Sunday School
class says he sawed wood once. Peter
remarked he remembered the time well
1t was when he sawed his way out of
Jail.
Mike Hout is the principal cook in
his bungalo; says he has no use for
cook books, for everything in the book
begins, take clean dish.
4*s
The nature of an oath according 10
one of our leading lawyers is when YOU
tell lie stick to it.
We are all liable to mistakes-tne
doctors as we'll as the lawyers. A
doctors mistake is often buried six
feet under the ground and lawyers
often swings six feet in the air.
So
A man was turned away from the
pearly gates the other day when st.
Peter found he was the man who guar
anteed patent leather shoes not 10
crack.
A man in our photograph gallery the
other day having his picture taken was
told to smile. ''Not much" says he, my
wife is going to send one of these
pictures to her mother and ifshe sees a
smile on my face, she will come here
and stay all summer"
One of our ministers is criticised for
calling his congregation my dear
friends" He probably knows them to
well to call them ladies and gentlemen.
The subject discussed by the Window
Sill Club the other evening was "Can
an Honest ManPlay Poker.o The decis-
sion was, he can but he cannot win any
thing.
Uncle Peter Beattie says he agrees
with our great fnanciers, that we need
a more elastic currency. He wishes
now it was so elastic he could stretch
dollar bill over the bills he owes for
cigars and then snap it back into his
vest pocket.
We never read where King Solomon
had anything to say about his mother
in law. He had so many, he probably
thought in his wisdom it was better to
keep mum.
Some of our people are complaining
that the milk they buy is watered. Our
city council should pass an ordinance
forbiding milk men to water their cows
before milking.
#.*
A woman living over on the Portage
writes the PRESS asking what to use in
cleaning a carpet. Ye editor says if
she is married woman, tell her to use
her husband
~
OGe of our town kids Sunday evening
placed an umbrella near one of onr
church doors with a string attached to
1t; he says that eleven different mem
bers Of the church picked up that um
brella and carried it the length of the
string before the dropped it.
~
JudgeIBrennan says in law a man has
no right to kiss woman against her
we'll; but if he attempts it and does not
succeed the woman will never forgive
him.
We noticed two ladies walking on
Sixth street the other day. Passing an
other lady, one of them remarked, her
coat is brown just the color of her hair.
Yes replied the other they were both
colored by the same dye.
-
Is 1t not queer young lady general
ly prefers to sit in chair that has
arms.
#.#
Spring poetry is coming to the PRFss
Office by the ton. Here is sample
from North Creek:
The crows are flying o'er the hills,
The leeks begin 10 sprout,
The snow il gone, the brooks and rlls
Will soon be full Of trout;
The city man will soon be here
Nose Minard for his guide,
They'l have a case of bottled beer
And other stuff beside