Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1906-02-22
ZANGWILL EPIGRAMS
CLEVER THINGS THE WITTY AUTHOR
SAID ABOUT THE JEWS.

The Way He Compared His Coreli-
sionists to United States Bonds-Hi.
Illustration of Some of the Striking
Hebrew Chnracteristicx.
Some years since Israel Zangwill
when on a visit to this country deliv-
cred an address in New York city to
his own people. \ few of the epigrams
which he then coined concerning the
characteristics of the Hebrews are here
offered:
The Jews had no country Of their
own. They could not possess the land
of their fathers in reality. SO they
made a portable Palestine. They car
ried it wherever they Went. This was
spiritual country. 1t could not be as
sailed by their oppressors
There have been two conceptions Of
the Jew-one that he lends money and
wants it back again, the other that he
i deals in old clothes. The truth is Jews
have been everywhere They have
been everything except pope Of Rome
and they lave come near to that If
! IL
/ papal DEGREES forbade them trading in
! ANYTHING else but old clothes and old
4 iron
/ Jews in a way were as good as Unit
ed States bonds, only United States
! bonds may be converted, but when n
! Jew was converted he lost his value.
Because Shylock was rich and Jes-
( ct fl,l oil 4 ri, nI ,,lI
4 Jewesses are beautiful. | wish it were
/ so.
y good looking jew was considered
the fool Of the family, which is conso-
laton for some of u.s.
The black plague swept over Europe
The Jews escaped by reason of their
different HYGIENE laws. The Christians
charged them with poisoning the wells,
4 and thousands of Jews were put to
death for not dying Of the plague.
Colonel Roosevelt told me that the
Jews Of his regiment were among his
brayest soldiers. and when Hobson had
to be kissed it took a Jewess to do it.
Jews not only furnished money for
4 Columbus expedition, but his first
4 lieutenant was Jew. This officer dis
covered tobacco. which is greater than
4 America
Carlyle said the Jews had no humor,
Il but Carlyle was Scotchman.
A beggar stole a spoon from wealth
Ter member Of his race who had enter
tanned him. When detected the beggar
/ said: by taking the spoon l broke
! the eighth commandment, which says,
Thou shalt not steal If had not
4 taken il would have broken the tenth.
! which says Thou shalt not covet.' I
saw | had to break one commandment
anyhow. so | thought l might as well
have the spoon"
It has always been the desire Of Jew
4 iSh fathers. however rich. to have learn
cd sonS-in-laW, however poor. | do not
find this custom prevalent today.
To illustrate why there are no good
Jews in fiction Mr. Iangwill related
the story of the lion and the cub. The
cub had seen painting Of Samson
vanquishing the lion. and saidS to its
parent 81 have seen many contests
between lions ard men. and always the
4 men have been the victors Why are
there no pictures showing lions over
a powering meu?" 1T is because we
Ions have no painters was the par
ent's reply.
The Jews have been scattered to the
four winds among all the nations of
the earth They have been of immense
service TO every country that has har-
4 bored them. Itreminds me of the story
of the crocodile which opened its mouth
so that a bird might go into it and eat
the eeches which annoyed it. There
was mutual benefit from the operation.
It is not strange that sometimes the
Jews find the crocodiles mouth closing
I upon them. Ii was natural that Jews
should con@regate around their Tsyna-
gognps. They became to some extent
isolated from the people among whom
they dwelt This isolation brought with
it suspicion. and suspicion caused more
isolation for mutual protection.
In medieval times the nations OF
Europe had Il conception of the Jewish
character compared to which Shake
speare's Shylock was Il saint. 1t was
this that brought about the compulsory
ghetto. :sf,.:ytt.,f.
There are two general types of Jews
the German and the Spanish. The
Spanish Jews speak mixture Of lie
brew aud Spanish. The German jews
speak Yiddish. "a mongrel of bad Ger
man and every other language in the
world.
The Jews financed the crusades vol
unfairly and inyoluntarily. There was
nothing they had not financed, not even
their own persecutions.-New York
Herald
The Difference Between Two Poets.
Clau,lius on being asked what was
/: the difference between him and Klcp
stock replied: "Klopstock says, Thor
who art my inferior and yet my equal
approach nither. and. STOPPING to the
ground. relieve me Of the burden OF
these dust Degrimed neither integu
ments,' whereas l simply say, Johann
come and pull off my boots.
I See that Automatic Carpet displaye
& at the New Furniture Store. Any sig