Los Angeles herald., 1906-09-18

or course the hero at the Grand,
Who came here from atar.
Is seen in stellar roles; his hand
Stays every night a fearsome band,
So there exists no weighty bar
For calling him a shooting star!
But how can they have war in Cuba
when Richard Harding Davis isn't
there?
a Texan named smallnickels broke
a Mexican faro bank. Must have been
more in his jeans than in his name.
Palm-Did you rest well last night?
Pepper-I don't know; | slept all the
time.
Trustee Kuflewski of the Chicago
schools advocates deformed spelling.
He should try - on that name
If the Standard Oil is found guilty
on all counts on which 1t has been in
dicted, the fines will foot up S131,OO0O01.
rhat'll help some--if the price Oh oil
Isn't made to cover it,
What an awfully sour lemon the Call
foria Democrats did hand Willie
Hearst.
The Russian army wants to emulate
the American. It's first order should bc
for "a few hundred moving machines.
A prize fights worst feature Is it's
post -mortum chin-music.
The average girl doesn't care If it is
spelled "Kist," so that the lSlsser de-
livers the goods.
That deformed spelling knocks the
"e" from whiskey, but the ease lin
drinking it is not bothered any.
Orange-They have family skeleton
Lemon-Yes; 1 saw him bathing at
Long Beach.
Pretty soon q II fiction will look like
dialect, If writer's follow Teddy's lead.
He is a brave conductor who viii
make Cans ride in Jim Grow car
when the fighter goes back home TO
Maryland.
But no one ever could rob the old
stocking bank from the inside.
Poppy-Did you marry for money,
dear?
Magnolia-No, for alimony, dearest
Brooklyn has a lobster club Must
include the whole town.
A Missouri mob tried to lynch a farm
hand. Maybe he wanted to quit
Having frozen the ice man up, the
east is now about to make it warm for
the coal man.
The president is going to Panama in
three warships. Teddy always did ex-
aggerate. How can he?
The Shout of the Shirt
c'Men's shirts will be louder in hue
than ever this STANDARDIZATION notc.)
With fingers unsteady. unnerved,
With eyes wildly staring and red
a man stood before the looking glass
Pulling his shirt DER his head.
Pull. pull, pull,
In luxury, plenty and ease;
And still in a moan of dolorous tone.
He muttered such words as these:
Noise. noise, noise!
Till my brain begins to swim
Noise, noise, noise!
Till my eyes are heavy and dim!
Blue and yellow and red.
Red and yellow and blue;
When I try to sleep the shirts are so
loud
I dream them the whole night
through"
% men with sisters dear!
o men with mothers and wives!
Upon your bosoms must rest the blame
And misery of their lives!
Noise, noise, noise!
Their eyes and their ears. too, they
hurt!
You call down curses upon our heads
o fearfully lurid shirt!
"Oh, but to hear the sounds,
OF the cold world once again;
The music sweet of the birds,
And the voices of women and men.
For only one short hour
To hear as used to hear.
Before knew the woes of shirt
That shut all noise from mine earl"
With fingers unsteady. unnerved,
With eyes wildly staring and red,
= man stood before the looking glass
Pulling shirt DER his head.
Pull. pull, pull.
In luxury plenty and ease,
And still i'm n moan of dolorous tone,
With many a curse word and many a
groan,
He shouted the shout of the shirt!
W. IL. G.