Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1906-02-14
copyrighted
Dilly Learns Few Things About
Society.

Dear Uncle" said little Oily.
glancing up in some perplexity from
the copy OF The Hornet he had been
perusing, tell me what is society,""
Society. my dear nephew" said Tn.
Gle George, genially, as he carelessly
stood blotting pad against the rather
frank outlines Of Psyche that re.
posed upon the library table. society
is curious phase of human existence
which has no reasonable excuse for be.
ing other than to furnish a livelihood
TO some altogether undeserving persons
who would better be forced 10 go to
work. In other words. my boy. So
ciety is but a liberation and has no
real status other than what it makes
itself
Once upon time 1t was alleged to
be collection of men and women of
extreme culture and learning. who
banded together to boost mankind up
couple of intellectual notches. but
to-day the designation is altogether
reversed. Instead OF being cultured
society folk are rude and f1nicky. In
stead of being learned, they are some
what hollow tanked, and instead of
using the elevator, they put the reverse
English on brains
DO not persons OF massive intellect
gambol in society. dear uncle?" In
Quired little Oily.
Not so you could notice it." replied
Uncle George. The terms are not BIZ
any means synonymous. 1t would be
fatal TO social success TO have the ac-
cusation OF mentality brought against
one. In other words. Oily, If you
would enter society you should take
primary course in the nearest absurd
mansion. Society, however. serves
great and good purpose 1t is wrong
TO cavil at il, and we should frown
upon every attempt to do away with
social functions. The licentious press
Dilly, occasionally aims a bitter blow
at society but society does not care
two whoops in Gehenna. for il re-
allies it's divine purpose, which, my
boy, is that noble profession of making
the world laugh heartily To be con-
else. my dear boy, society is the low
comedian of life, and Is permitted to
draw comfortable salary for its la
bors.
Il like to go to Newport in the
summer, Oily. for there | see much
20 amuse me. realize at once that
Newport is the national safety valve.
and that without it many of us would
go down to our graves without smil-
ing. Cruel persons have limited that
social usage is a blow at our vested
equality in life and punch in the eye
national but t.
not true Had we no society we would
know little of the habits of the SINH
ans, and all DR.. Gamers work would
be in vain. So closely is society
aping DR.. Gamers proteges. my dear
nephew. that shortly we may expect to
see the higher lights of that circle
rising intellectually to the dizzy
heights where they will be able TO
climb rainpipes and ask for pennies
ut is at Newport that society is
freest in its scorn for the conven.
tionalities. but one need not confine
oneself to Newport. for any really un-
respectable resort will answer all pur.
poses. There one may see the care
free devotees Of fashion exhibit them
selves with all the abandon OF an
unrestrained lack OF vitality Would
you wish to observe the very latest
thing in a travelling companion? Go
To The nearest resort and gaze on
Mrs. Stuyv esant ne we're as she rolls
haughtly along with her pet pedl.
greed porker, dressed in a diamond col.
lar and an ermine bib. at her side"
But, dear uncle" asked little Dill.
ly. "aTe not the members Of society
supposed to pose as an example TO the
common people?"
Undoubtedly. my dear nephew"
said Uncle George. They are sup.
posed to pose as an example. but there
are various kinds Of an example
Most frequently It Is an example that
gets sidetracked and winds up with
a brutal crash on the pavement of
publicity. But there. we should not
be bitter TO these poor people Were
Il not for their openhanded generosity
many publications that are issued
weekly wO, ? never survive tue first
FINANCIAL frost. To my min there is
no more elevating spectacle than to
see the editor OF the society weekly
calling upon the cotiilon leader at an
early morning hour The editor Is a
manly person. with all the human
graces stamped uDon his face. The
cotillon leader Is somewhat distract
and is attired in a yellow bathrobe
with carpet slippers on his feet One
watches carefully and listens intently
and hears the editor remark that Il
was a beautiful night for drive. to
which the cotillon leader petulantly
agrees whereupon the editor inquiries.
delicately. for the health OF a lady
whose first name begins with Helen.
and as the cotillon leaders wife's name
is Maud, the latter hastily pushes
roll Of coarse mierObs-infestsd eur.