Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1906-09-30

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CORRESPONDENTS
lin this column will be answered all questions of
should write side only and address their let
ncuit conundrums answers may he delayed for a
week two. Consequently IL may he advisable
for all questoners to watch this column carefully
YOUNG LADY: Do you think men make
good husbands7 Amen are the only kind
of husbands the ladies seem to care for.
C. L. A: No. Clarence. the Washington
Jobbers' Association is not composed OF
statesmen. The name misled you.
CURIOUS: Why has Jacob Rils not in
dorsed the Presidents spelling reform
Alt is unaccountable. Jake WAS never
slow with his Endorsements before.
ELIGIBLE: Is Irritation or typewriting
the greatest aid to marriage7 A.-Really
there is not much difference. but II results
are slow you might get a Job In a telephone
exchange.
THRIFT: How can a man get the long
est ride In Washington for a nickel2 A
Ride one square in a herdic.
AMIABLE: Do you think I can reform
him by marrying him7 Ave have known
some wives to have n contrary effect.
CONVERSATION: / desire to become an
entertaining talker. What shall do7 A
Talk about other people and be careless
as to what you say, only be sure IL isn't
pleasant.
LILY: In sending flowers to a soldier boy.
would a red, white and blue bouquet be
considered patriotic2 A.-Oh. yes; or you
might send him a flag. Lily.
YOUNG WIFE: Why is II that cannot
make as good bread mother used TO
make? Another probably knew more
about the subject than you do and wasn't
nearly 50 busy with matinees and bargain
sales.
PHILOSOPHERS: Is 1t true that Mr..
Bryan has been examined by phrenologist1
Alt is. indeed. true. Phil. Phrenol-
ogists like Mr.. Bryan, because he has got
many bumps.
MOURNER: Do you consider 1t good form
to inscribe friends headstone AT Rest,
or IL this Inscription not too commonplace?
A.-The principal objection against this
inscription is that it ID too much like guess
work.
this season? Ayes. with the street cars.
ANTIQUARY: The oldtime worsted sign,
God Bless Our Home" is not as popular
as formerly Why is this? A.-Because so
few persons 1--we In homes nowadays. They
live In fats.
ECONOMIST: 1t seems to be the am
bition of many men to leave a great for
tune. Is this true philosophy? Amen are
not ambitious to leave great fortune. They
want 10 stay with 1t as long as they can.
and they would take it with them IL they
knew how.
man subscriber often writes to the edi-
tor: Il have been reading your paper
ever since it was established" woman
subscriber never commits herself by putting
this statement in writing.
VET: Why not suggest that the Presl-
dent order the Rough Riders to Cuba?
A.-Pshaw, man; the Rough Riders are all
busy with their government duties; ana
besides other regiments ought to be allowed
to get their names in the papers once In
while.
DEMOS: Why is the democratic party
nearly always represented by the picture
of a donkey? Ave are not able to ex-
plain this injustice to the donkey.
CICERO: Whom do you consider the bet
ter speaker. Mr.. Bryan or Mr.. Roosevelt?
A.-Let Mr. Bryan talk on the subject OF
oppression and he Is peeriess' let Hr.
Roosevelt get after the weakling and no
body can touch him. In an endurance con-
test between these gentlemen speakers
we would advise that no odds be offered.
PROPHET: l forecast that Hearst will
get more votes than Hughes How about
it? "A man who can make as rank
forecast as that belongs in the weather
bureau.
ELECTOR: Does not every voter owe II
to his country to vote according to his con-
science? All he Is a Tammany voter ne
owes 1t to his country not to vote at all.
READER: I consider the trust evil the
greatest evil of the day. Am right? A.
We thought so. too. until We met some or
the trust busters.
UNCLE JASPER.