Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1906-05-31
GOOD
Short

Nobody seems to want our Terri.
tory" said ex-Delegate b. s. Rodey. of
New Mexico, land there is no telling
where we will have landed by the time
the Statehood fight is settled. Our sta.
tus Is as uncertain as that of an old ne
gro slave l once heard Of. Somebody
asked him whom he belonged to. 'Ah,
don't know, suh,' lie replied; ole
marse, he upstairs playin' pokah.'"
In Londonderry, one afternoon, the
late William Sharp was seated in a
barber shop when Il farmer entered to
get his hair cut The farmers locks
had an odd, ragged look. and the bar.
Der. after regarding them scornfully,
said: "WhO cut your hair last. old
MANI" "My wife," the farmer answer.
ed, with an awkward smile. The bar.
Der snorted. What did she do it with?"
he asked; "a knife and fork?"
Winston Churchill, when he was in
South Africa as correspondent was
lunching with the general and his staff
at the bottom of Spion Kop, while the
battle was raging above. One of the
officers bantered the young correspond
ent ON his assurance and success. mo
doubt" he said. you have got on sur
prisingly well, but you owe it all to the
fact that you are Kandy's SON." Sir"
replied Winston, with his characteristic
audacity, 1.-The time Is coming when
Lord Randolph Churchill will be chiefly
remembered as the father of Winston
Churchill"
The conversation turned to the war
with Spain and the part played by the
colonel of the Rough Riders in the bat.
tie at San Juan Hill. There are two
widely varying stories concerning the
part l took in that affair."" said the
President. "One is to the effect that
when the charge up San Juan Hill &C.
Cured l was two miles In the rear of
our men. and did not get into the &C.
ton at all. The other is that was far
in advance of the men as the charge I'D
the hill was made. and that while con.
spicuOusly in view of both armies I
shot Spanish officer in the back. Both
of these stories," added the President,
with grim smile, my opponents as a
whole accept as literally true"
John Burns, eX-wOrkingman, now
cabinet minister, once cOntended pub.
licly that no mans work is worth more
than $500 a year. But Johns Burns
has had to take Il good deal Of rallying
since, with his 500 pounds maximum on
record, he has accepted an office which
pays 1900 pounds. In Battersea. dur
ing the recent election, he had to en-.
dure some good-humored heckling by
his constituents ON this subject. He an.
swered that he was, at any rate, re-
ceiving only the prevailing rate of
wages in his new trade. When one
courageous woman In his audience rose
to put the pointed inquiry, But what
do you do with the money, JOhn?" his
sufficient reply was, GO ask the miss.
u.s."
A practical joker of New York City
tells this story upon himself, and de.
clares that the experience cured him
of his bad habits. "On my arrival ut
San Francisco, as joke l sent to q
friend of mine at home. well known for
his aversion to spending money, a tele-
gram, with charges to collect, reading,
Il am perfectly WELL The information
evidently was gratifying to him, for
about a week after sending the tele-
gram an express package was delivered
at my room. on which paid four dol
lars for charges. Upon opening the
package l found large New York
block. on which was past
cd card. which read, This is the
weight your recent telegram lifted from
my heart. -"