The Birmingham age-herald., 1906-02-11

their kommunity conferred on him the title of Hog Eye the same fittin' him like a pocket in a shirt. The said Hog Eye had sawed off his society on Pecker
 wood beat without beln' asked to do so none and for long time back 1t had been the gineral sentiment that Pecker- wood could do without this malignant Caudle heap.
 ",The pur-ickerler charge ergin Hog Bye was nuthin' more nur less than mak- in a too forid use of his jaw. He was that sharp set on domestic news, naybur- hood gossip, and totin tales, that he'd stop plowin any day to spread the news of any onusual event over the beat. And of coas he enlarged on the same vividly, addln' a right peart chance of his own vain maxim up. He busted up a coatship that the whole nayberhood had been nussn' and cossettin' for moren year between Giles Mann and Sue Black. He got two of the deakuns in the ehuch so that they'd not speak to one nuther when they met in the big road. Along last fall when the revivul was szzlin hot out at Ramsours Chapel, old Hog-Eye begun to have symptoms, of gittin relig'un. When
 the preached dealt out the hymn, Hog
 Eye would onbuckle hissef, git about four notes ahead of the con gation and warble the shingles off'en the roof. He ruther pushed the musical business to excess, specially in view of the fact that when Hog-Eye wrastled with one of them quaverin' high notes every hound dog in two mile of the meetin' house jined in, an assisted that felon in his tussle with them melodies. At prayers, when the hull congregation was down in the straw, Hog-Eye 'ud come cavortin' among the 'Amens and sich, with a lot of groanin' like a sick mule with the collie, an noise, an sputterin --talkin' to hissef until it 'peared like he was fritterin erway the entire English langwidge over the ad- jacent mourners F'inully he come through much to the relief of all concerned, and his konvershun didn't create marry rifle of interest, or excitement, and was look ed upon cold by dlsinterested spectators.
 Thar was one foible about the charac- ter of Hog-Eye, amountin' really to a defect; he was plumb liberal, not to say diffusive in permlttin' hsself to gas He'd hand out fragments of syntax, foamin' and declaimn' like Sidlitz pow ders, on no provocation at all. Nuthn' but cyclone 'ud keep him from mak- in a speech; so that when the brethrin pulled off the experience meetin, and all hands was relatin' the divers pious eepisodes what had happened to 'em in this vale of teers Hog-Eye come sprad- dlin in with rank narratif. A ancient Sister had plnted out the hardshups. and pryvashuns and hunger, consekent on follerin' the straight path in relig'un
 when this Hog-E waded in with some ranikadoo "reminiscences like this:
 My dyin' hearers, am grieved clar down to my gambrels to state that my youthful years aint thronged none with religgus experience: but l does certainly carom on some of these here hardshups and pryvashuns endurin' of the time when fout in ther war. While I was pervad- in aroun in the Army of Fergnny, car rying horror and desolation ermong ther host of Yanks I didn't have no more religgun than you could punch In a doo- dle-hole with peggin awl-hated Tanks, bumb shells and preachin,-lov likker, seven-up and sin in any form. Used to go squttern roun' huntin up grub ravenous, havin' a alSing void in the re- zion of the umbullicus all the time; felt hungry ernuff to eat up COW, and to chase her salf ercross the Potomack.
 "One day late in the winter I was per colatin about over the landscape huntin
 up some grub. It peared like from the
 way the kyards fell that day that I was
 bound to go shy on suthin to i'll my innards, as marry morsel more stimulatin than hard tack and SOW bosom had been inserted In my midst for twelve mortal hours; when jess as I had concluded to sag down and quit the deal, I runs across A parrot settin' on a rail fence and mak- in remarks to the adjacent precinct. That bird was fat. and jess settin thar dead easy, not expectln' a total stranger to ring in cold deck on him. I collared him, lugged him to camp and purceeded to enjoy roast fowl like a real eepicure. While ain't no glutton, brethrin and ss- tern. yit I'm a booty good jedge of