davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-03-30
How To Be Lovable.

know that, like every girl, you want
to be sweet and gracious and attractive
in manner and to have beautiful face,
says 4 woman writer in an exchange.
should not wonder if you know some
particularly lovely woman and think to
yourself: "Oh, if could be like her.
Now my dear young girl, let your heart
grow sweet and loving, and then your
manners will be gracious. Love speaks
in thousand ways. If you wish to be
lovely you must be lovable.
Beauty of character grows from the
inside. First the heart grows beautiful
and then it shines out through the face;
and loving thoughts are sure to bloom
into kind and loving deeds.
You might takea small, green rose bud
and patch bits of rose-colored velvet on
the outside of it; but you could not make
a bloom one would care for. The rose
bud must grow and unfold its own
beauty from the heart. That is the way
it becomes flower that is priced. You
must grow in the same way-from the
heart out.
1t is very nice to take Delsarte lessons
in gracefulness, to study etiquette and to
practice looking pleasant; but if these
things are only patched on the outside of
an unlovely spirit they will fail to deceive
anyone. Even homely people are often
made beautiful to us by the love-light in
their faces, and there is no attractiveness
like sweet and noble character.
The rose unfolds slowly. So does
character
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-03-30
Varieties.

1t is difficult matter to treat man
for drunkenness. As a rule. the more
you treat him, the drunken he GETS
Philadelphia Record.
do you think the widow will break
his will ?" won't be necessary. She did
that long before she became widow"
Philadelphia Ledger.
-"Bobbie, why do you blame all the
naughty things you do onto your little
brother?' why not? Mamma says
he's too small to punish. Life.
THE grand jury that indicted me-"
said the CRATER, was grossly preju-
diced" "How was it produced ?" "By
the evidence, of course. "-Washington
Star.
Pop" "Yes, my son." what is it
man loses and then can't tell you what
it is until he finds it ?" 81 really don't
know, my boy" "Why, his breath!"-
Yonkers Statesman.
-Hostess-"And do you really believe
in Christian Science ?" Visitor-"Well,
you see, I've been getting rather stout
lately, and it's such a comfort to know
that really have no body Punch.
What reason have you for asking
pardon from State prison? ?" "Well, you
see, can't consistently stay here; have
to work ten hours a day and am a men,
Der of labor union" -Brooklyn Life.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-03-30
Il Was a Dream.

Patrick was always twitting Michael
upon his lack of education. One day, in
the presence of their squire, Patrick dared
Michael to a contest of wits. Each was
to compose verse of two lines, and the
squire was to judge between them. To
add further zest to the contest the squire
offered pound to the winner.
Patrick went home to his faithful
Bridget and told her about it. Between
them this literary gem was concocted:
Her name was Dottie Dimple,
On her nose she had pimple."
Michael also went home to HE wife.
She laughed at the ease with Which he
could overcome Patrick, winning glory
and the pound at the same time.
"Sure, and just say
"'On yonder hill there stands mill,
fit hasn't fallen, it's there STILL"
On the great day, the contestants met
in the presence of half the countryside,
each backed by his friends.
Michael, terribly embarrassed, got up,
made a schoolbov bow and stammered
forth:
"On yonder hill there stands a mif1
If it hasn't fallen, its there yeti
Amid a roar of laughter he sat down,
wondering what could be wrong.
Then Patrick with much dignity arose
and said, proudly:
"Her name was Dottie Dimple,
On her nose she had a war-rt."
There was wild shout and Patrick
also retired crestfallen. But the squire in
consideration of their manifest efforts
divided the pound between them.-Min-
neapolis Journal.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-03-30
Sympathetic.

Among our circle of friends there was
very warm supporter of the S. P. c. A,
who, though earnest and sincere, some
times bored by overzeal. We set traps
to lead her into an admission of the evil
in animal nature, but she always man.
aged to make out good case for her
dumb friends. One day we felt that we
at last had a case in which she could
have no possible sympathy for the ami
NAL 1t was dreadful story, published
in a newspaper, of baby who had been
literally eaten alive ty large and fero-
cious cat. We gave her the clipping, and
watched with satisfaction the tears
gather in her eyes as she read. We've
got her now" we murmured, trium-
phantly. Finally she looked up, and we
all held our breath to listen to her COM
ment. She spoke in heart-broken tones.
Think !" she said, ''iust think how hun
CRY the poor cat must have been !"-Har-
per's Weekly.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-03-30
Battlefield Perils.

They have just laid to rest at Noting
ham Crimean veteran who was thrown
for dead into a trench in the Crimea.
Those who have made a study of the
subject make the disquieting assertion
that the burial of the quick with the
dead upon the battlefield is not uncom-
mon. A story is told of surgeon who
saw dead man come to life" after the
battle of Borny. He saw the man go
down, killed apparently by bursting
shell. At midnight the kindly heart of
the doctor impelled him once more to
make a round to see if any wounded lay
still INTENDED, and chance took him to
the spot where the dead" tirailleur lay
Blood was issuing from his nostrils, and
the surgeon turned him over to seek his
wound. There was none. Conclusion
of the brain had caused inhibition of all
the functions. The men who came out
to bury were sent back to the hospital
with this man, who six weeks hence was
we'll enough to rejoin his regiment. But
had not chance led that doctor to the
spot, the soldier would have gone under
the turf with the dead.
Sir Charles Napier fell grievously
wounded at Corunna, and his comrades
left him amid the heap of the slain. He
was posted as killed. By a miracle, how
ever, he was rescued before the burial
party could do its work, then kept pris-
oner by Ney. After some months infor-
nation was conveyed to the English
lines that he was alive, and a man was
sent home with the tidings 20 his mother.
She dared not see him. HE comes" she
said, ito tell me of the death of another
son." Somehow the story of this stricken
blind woman far away in England sor-
rowing for her son reached the ears of
Ney. "Let him go, said to Clouet,
land himself tell her that he is alive"
The blind woman was the beautiful
Sarah I.ennox of old time who might
have been the Queen of George the Second
The son lived to conquer Sind.-St.
James Gazette.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-03-30
Chastisernent,

One of the greatest evidences of Gods
love to those that love Him is to send
them Affections, with grace to bear them.
Wesley.
God mingles the bitter with the sweet
in this life, to set US seeking another life
where there shall be sweet alone.-St.
Augustine.
When the blast cometh, then feeth the
chaff; but the wheat remaineth chased
and known to be wheat-I. Bradford.
AS when the storm ariseth the good
mariner is known, so in affection, Gods
children are easily known from Satan's
servants. -Anon.
In affection see the necessity of it and
be humbled; see the use of it, and improve
it; see the love there is in it and be thank
ful.-Adam.
We are not yet mature for suferings,
while allowed to stand at distance and
view the sufferings of others.-Rawbach.
The mother makes pretence of cast
ing to the ground the dear child in her
arms, so that the child may cling more
closely to her-St. Ambrose.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-03-30
Corn At s. A Bushe1.

Up in Pike county, Missouri, where the
and full of sweet charity, a band Of
modern Ruths has set new record price
for corn, and incidentally added to the
Golfers of the poor.
1t was in Frankford that the price of
corn rose to So bushel under the clever
manipulation of several charitable
women, who sold their gleanings in the
public square for the cause of charity.
The women of the Cumberland Presby-
terrain Church of Frankford lase week set
about to raise money for the poor of
their city. Messrs. M. J. and S. W. Jones
offered them load of corn from their
farm. just outside the city, provided they
would go into the field, gather the ears,
and husk the grain themselves.
The women gladly accepted the offer,
and procuring a farm van and span of
husky Missouri mules set about their
task.
Ten women, each providing herself
with lunch, set out one morning last
week at nine O'Clock, leaving Frankfort
and driving out to the Jones farm.
Driving into the field they started to
work, and by halfpast two that after
noon had husked enough to fill the wagon
to OVERLOOKING
Then, after hasty bite of lunch, they
commenced the return trip to Frankford,
driving into Main street, where they
auctioned off the grain.
Standing in the public square in front
of her husbands bank, Mrs. S. w. Jones
sold the corn to the highest bidders.
When the thirty-one bushels had been
sold there was $40 in the hands of the
cleaners for the poor.
1t was good price, even for Missouri
corn to have brought, but it was not
quite enough, and many of the gallant
purchasers donated their cereal purchases
to be resold.
Then the auction began. over again,
and when the last bushel had been resold
there was an additional $20.50 for the
poor, the thirty-one bushels having
brought total price of $90.50.-St.
Louis Republic.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-03-30
Poems OF Today.

Write your poetry in prose. "CARLYLE:
Today in prose indeed they write
Our poets of the bank and street;
They in the mill and ship indtc,
They write with hammer and with forge;
They write with labor's million hands;
They write on shore, on plain and gorge,
On seas, what progress understands.
Their rhymes are double rails of steel;
Their rhythmiis the song of gold;
Their blank verse is the whirling wheel,
Their muses. are the product sold.
Their dramas are the worldwide plans
That move to fifth act of success;
Their epics the joining clans
That set invention 'gainst distress.
Their lyrics are the songs of wires;
Their pauses anchors dropped in ports;
Their beats trip-hammers by the fires;
Their harp is metal of all sorts.
Their chorus is the mighty sound
On land and sea of whistles blown
From rail and ship the world around,
The music of the age new-grown.
And who shall say that men of words,
Who sang fairer earth to be,
Would scorn the men of deeds, these lords
OF things, whove mastered land and sea;
Who've opened wide the earths deep breast
And wrought their dreams in steel anC
gold,
And placed their fleets on oceans crest;
And passed the acts of genii told?
CALVIN DILL WILSON.
Glendale Ohio.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-03-30
What He Wanted To Re.

The young woman OF the family was
sitting on the front porch with her caller
and Bobbie, her little brother. A fire de-
partment wagon went by on the way
back from some small blaze.
"Bobbie," said the young man,
wouldn't you like to be a fireman when
you get big?"
Nav" grunted Bobby.
"Would YOU like to be a policeman"
Nav"
what would you like to be?"
II want to be worthless blockhead
like pop SEE you is an own autermobile
like you, grunted the small boy.--Kansas
City Times,
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-03-30
Tie, Hels and 1ptelIieepcer.
IS Published Epery Friday.
JOHN D. WORTHINGTON.
TERMS.-$1.00 A Year 10 Advance.

Entered August IS, 1902, as second
class matter, Postofhce at Bel Air, Nd,
Act of Congress of March 8, 1879.
Transient advertisements Square
8 insertions or less $1.5O. Each subse-
quent insertion rs cents. Longer adVer-
tisements In the same proportion. A.
space equal to six lines makes a square.
Figure work double price.
Obituaries and Pers onal Communica-
lions will be inserted at cents per line.
Yearly Advertisements at Special Rates
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1906-03-30
The Measure of His Brains.

One day as Attorney John Y. Mugridge
and Judge Minot were walking along a
street in Concord, N. H., together, Mr..
Mugridge said, in his sepulchural voice
Judge, let's go into partnership. You
furnish the capital and I'll furnish the
brains"
The Judge pulled a two-cent piece from
his pocket, put it in the palm of his hand,
and, holding it out to Mugridge, said, in
his squeaky way: "Cover that! Cover
that r-Boston Herald.
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

his weather eye on the men of war, II
think that perhaps we had better run
in tonight"
There seemed to be no reason why
with the war either on the side of the
English or the Beers His duty was
the simple one of landing his cargo in
Delagoa Bay. He had received no
direct orders not to do so and further
more, he understood enough of the law
to know that in reality the English
had no legal right to prevent him.
Also he knew that might was right in
such cases and that once one of those
boats got sight of him he could
bring up all the statute books on inter-
national law that were ever printed
and he would be ANONYMOUSLY dragged
away from Delagoa Bay the matter TO
be settled many months later.
"All right answered the mate, I'VE
will try"
So the sails were set and the good
ship Sea Witch calmly took her course.
Hour after hour passed and she sailed
on unmolested. To the right and the
left the captain gould see the gray
shadows and the sparkling lights OF
the men of war. Eight o'clock passed,
then Q, and then 10. They sailed on
,as calmly as one could enter the har
Dor to-day. The steel sleuths, all con-
nQent ana all unconscious, must nave
been DOING. At II o'clock the trick
had been accomplished-the Sea Witch
had entered the neutral zone and was
safe. She calmly cast anchor and the
captain with goodnight to the mate
went down to his bunk and turned in
to sleep the sleep of the well earned.
But early in the morning he was
awakened. The mate game down to
report.
There is a British battleship circlins
around the schooner. apparently very
curious as to whom we are and how
we got here"
We'll, let EN- circle"
\ few minutes later he came down
again.
Beg pardon, sir, but she has put off
a boat with officers aboard"
The captain stretched himself
"S'pose I'd better get UP and see what
they want"
So he dressed and came up above.
AS he stepped upon the deck he was
met by an officer from the battleship
Dwarf
The officer demanded to see the ships
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05
w E 81 81 M cz @ G25EE 51EE sssycGS g gzsszzz z zg @

aroused her curiosity and jealousy mo-
mentarily, but she restrained herself in
the presence of the professor. While
the three figures continued to repeat
tn words dress" and dinner" the pro-
fessor and his wife played cricket,
talked for while and. like all summer
boarders. were secretly wishing the va
cation was over as the place was get
ting tiresome. But in the meantime It
was only proper that they should act as
If they were enjoying themselves as
they never had before.
When dinner time was announced by
the professors automatic dinner bell
there was a sigh of relief, for dinner
would break the monotony. Then 1t
was that the three automatons ap-
peared In such charming dinner gowns
that Mrs. Weisheit could no longer re-
strain herself and her temper got be-
yond her control.
This is too much" she cried almost
bursting into tears. why, these ridic-
ulous things have finer dresses than /
ever dreamed of having. Tell me, how
did they come by them? They could
not have bought the dresses them
selves. You wretch, you bought them
yourselfi'
"Of course 1 got them. my dear but
surely you are not going to be jealous
OF these wooden figures?"
II do not care whether they are
wooden or not, but 1 am not going TO
be made ridiculous by lot of wooden
figures dressed better than l am, who
am alive and your wife"
Well you are jealous" said the
professor.
Yes, am jealous, and I don't care
who knows IT."
Great" said the professor inwardly,
my scheme is working splendidly, and
she will not be anxious to go TO any
summer resort just at present.
And when Mrs. Weisheits temper
cooled the professor took her inside
and explained to her that he was mere
ly giving her a picture of the average
summer resort, where life is one round
of pleasure with a continuous dressing
performance, one woman trying TO out
do the other In the number of dresses
and the money they cost. He also told
her how he had hired the gowns for
the automatic figures and. if she want
ed them she could have them. And
Mrs. Weisheit was overcome with hap
piness at the prospect of wearing such
fine raiment, and she told the professor
he was the wisest man in the world.
"Ah," said the professor. IF man s
heart is reached through his stomach,
surely a woman's heart can be won by
fine gowns"
why don't you try to discover per-
petuaI motion?" said Mrs. Weisheit
with smile; II have read a good deal
about it lately, and l am sure If any
one could discover it you certainly
could"
Whats the good, my dear? Perpet-
ual motion has existed as long as wo
man, for is it not in her tongue?"
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

papers. Now the Sea Witch. being not
only within the three-1nile limit but
actually off the island. Captain Howes
could have refused to show his papers
had he chosen. In the position he now
occupied he was under obligations to no
one.
But" said the captain. Il couldn't
see any objection, considerins where I
w;s, and so I showed 'em to him. He
looked them over and then looked at me.
Finally he went away without so much
as a thank you For some reason he
seemed to be annoyed"
After that the ship left and another
came. A demand was made for the cap
tain to run UP his flag He shook out
the old stars and stripes and waited for
developments. There were none. There
couldn't be, for he held all the cards.
And so, in helpless rage, the English
officers sent word 10 port that assist
ance in landing the cargo should be re-
fused by every loyal British citizen and
by every one else who wished to remain
in the good graces of the English Gov
ernment.
Captain Howes then sailed to the port
of Lourenzo Marquez. where he endeav-
ored to land his -four. But he found
himself balkcd. He was unable TO hire
tug or help of any kind. But II was
not in the nature of a Yankee captain
to get this far and not carry out his
commission. He nosed about until he
found an old Portuguese craft and with
the aid of this he landed his goods.
Then he went ashore for a brief rest
The agents were naturally well
pleased" said the captain. but you
should have seen the hard looks I got
from the officers ashore. went into
my usual dining place one day and
there | met an English clerk who was a
friend of mine. He was with some Brit
ish naval officers and could see that he
was pointing me out to them as the
man who had run their blockade. I
paid no attention, but after few min
utes the clerk came up to me and said
I'd like to introduce you. captain. to
my friends here l answered that l
should be glad to meet them. and so we
shook hands all around. But one of the
officers then spoke up and said:
That was rather mean trick you
played on us, captain. You sneaked by
in the dark with your lights out
Sir, I answered, I didn't have to
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05
Parson Wlbrods Bluff Saves Scandal In Game of Poke

The Rev Wilbrod lowed he'd hist
IL $40, but nobody didn't have no con-
fdence in him holdin' the winnin' cards
again so soon. so Pearsall. indin a
small full pat. made it $40 more That
suited Blaisdell. him havin' flush. an
he stayed.
"Winterbottom couldn't see why his
flush wasn't worth the money an he
raised again. Bassett was plumb riled
by this time. an you couldn't ha' drove
him out with guns. even IL he did know
three kings want no hand fr that
struggle. He'd made up his mind to
go MS pile on II. an he showed IL all
for'ard 1t were too much for a play.
an not enough for blun. an so it
turned out. for Rev. Wilbrod showed
his whole pile up, too, an the others
was all just nachully obliged for to see
him FIR all they had, which his pile was
the biggest. so all the money was up
before the draw
We'll. this was the finish They all
had stood pat but Bassett. an he didn't
better. Even IL he had 'twouldn't ha'
done no good agin' Rev. Wilorod's four
aces. They was some angered, though,
when Rev. WilbrOd said he wasn't
playin' no more. bein' as he had what
he needed TO make good with his con-
gregation. There want no way TO
make him play, though. an he hain't
never been here since.
What put the boys more out o. con-
ceit with religious people nor anythin'
else was when Rev. Wilbrod was
wrappin' his winnin's up IN his wad.
That rubber band slipped. an they seen
t the twenty on the outside o. tn roll
were all the real money there was IN
IL. The rest was newspaper"
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

'Winterbottom dealt first, maxim it
Bassett's ante an he put up dollar
calls two. They all passes, maxim a
$40 jack to begin. an Bassett's deal.
Rev. Wilbrod had first say, but he let
his cards lay. an says he reckons he'll
pass blind. seem it's the first pot, SO
he don't banker for it.
"Pearsall looks at his cards an says
he don't have no objections to takin'
the first pot or the last or any old pot.
An he opens it FIR ten.
''Blaisdell drops an Winterbottom
comes in, an Bassett studies his cards
a bit, but finally says he reckons he'll
trail, SO it's up to Rev Wilbrod to say
what he'll Go with $40 in the pot an
$40 f'r him to play. Twan't a bad stSrt
looked sort of interested an picks up
his hand.
What he seen 'peared to be some
encouragin', FIR he begin fingerin' his
chips like he meant to play, but hadn't
quite settled how hard he'd ought FIR
to press it.
"Ater a bit he says: wouldn't be
doin' my duty to my congregation f
was to let this slip, even If tbs the first
pot An he shoves his hull pile up.
90 course that looked like it mought
be bluff, an more'n likely twas, but
they didn't none on 'em feel like calm
1t, seeing Pearsall and Winterbottom
hadn't only a pair an Bassett had
trailed on a four straight, SO Rev. Will
brod cleaned up s3S on the first pot
'thouten anybody KNOWN what he had
Hit were Rev Wilbrod's deal next
an Pearsall, being some tore up.
reckon, count o. bein' beat out 'thouten
the satisfaction of a showdown, put up
The San Francisco call., 1906-08-05

back room, an he said it come to him
like a interposition O. Providence to
save him payin' fare on the boat, so
he'd come. If the boys hadn't no re-
ngious scruples ag'in playin' with a
preacher he lowed mebbe he'd sit In.
II told him I'd find out, an ast Joe
Bassett an Jake Winterbottom about
it, KNOWN the others d do what they
did. They said first off they didn't
want to play. bein' as it looked ire
ligious, but l told 'em 1t looked to me
like 1T were a sort O. Christian duty
for to give poor, erin brother d
chanst O. lodging a terrible scandal.
So they said they'd play If Rev. Will
brod had wad.
when he heerd that he pulled out
roll some thicker EN- his thumb. 1t
were tight one, with twenty showin
on the outside an stout rubber band
solvent. He'd showed quite some small
money afore that-mebbe fifty or sixty
an the boys said they lowed the
game was on.
I'm free to say't I was lookin' FIR
that wsd o. hsn to stay right here.
Likely I didn't pay proper attention to
what he'd done told me about that
season o. meditation an prayer.
"They took fifty apiece, an played
ia BILE stakes. There was FIVE in the
game, Jake Winterbottom an Joe Bas-
sett an Sam Pearsall an Jim Blaisdell
settin' in. They was all cold sober, too.
bein' as twas early, an 1t didn't look
to me like any man I'm outsider Ar
kansas City was liabse to last long in
that game. Rev. Wilbrod set to Bas-
sett's left, an Winterbottom to his
right, an Pearsall was next to Rev.
Wilbrod