davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

had whole bar OF ordinary laundry
soap. and basin Of hot, soft water1
Now watch rue. Remember, / use only
this tiny piece of soap. Get out your
watches and time me-"
Dropping the soap in tho basin. ana
the handkerchief, also. with both hands
he began scrubbing. Instantly the va
sin was full of soapsuds, and, inside
OF one minute by the watch, the hand
kerchief was as clean and white as the
day II came from the factory.
a yell went up from the crowd.
Now" said he. 81 will pass 1t out
at Is cents per cake. or three cakes for
80 cents"
In less time than Il takes to tell It.
the half-dOllars were simply pouring
into his Golfer.
Keep up the good work." ne cried.
Remember. economy is wealth, and
the only road to success-one cake OF
my wonderful compound. double dis
titled Laundry and toilet soap will 90
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

there a man in the crowd speculative
enough to buy It? Well, just TO show
you that some one has made a mis-
take, | will clip OF the end and show
you"
Then he cut of the end. unfolded the
wrapper and exposed the $40 bill.
Gentlemen, faint heart never won
fair lady" he called out Nothing ven
tured, nothing gained Remember,
my friends, what your eye sees, your
heart must believe. Fortune favors
every scheme. and It's long road that
has no turn"
Then taking out his immense roll OF
bills. he put back the $40 and Sc
lected 500 bill. which, as before, he
wrapped around the soap. In such q
manner that there could possibly be no
deception. Again he held the piece OF
soap In his left hand, his pocket
knife In his right.
who In this crowd has speculation
enough to give me $50 for thisY' he
would cry Remember. it's the soap
I'm selling. and nothing else. Who
Will give me SIS for IT before cut
the end off?"
Usually. by this time the merchant
would say: III take IT," and II he cid.
that instant the CRATER would clio
on the END and say:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
THE SONG OF THE WINE cup.

-
ye. -, am am ialr, ana my spaTklng wave
- Nt"'st1 10y tDe QUA "A' lLe stted ana
etsys.
grave;
WIZ nay gushing and joyous tide,
Men seek ne fr Youth lr trr hcYTay Of life
And seek me in manhood go arm for is
strife
Tor each bubble with daring and strength
is rife.
But list what Z Give teefrr-
ny rosy hsiU GO your .iDe youT bear
Ano euaH With g.ee that win mock 40
care.
a you cream Tor awhile there Is
-s., i'it
~ tHe ht1erlur and merry bowls
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

farther than a dozen bars OF ordinary
soap"
When he had finished. every man
was soaped, and the CRATER was loaded
70 the brim With half-dolIars.
Like all other ''grafters," one night
was as long as he could remain IN a
town
A few days after he had gone The
livery man, from whom he had hired
bis buggy said To his foreman:
Say, Jack. that little red geared
buggy needs oiling II came In squeak
ing and groanlng a few minutes ago. -
"Oh, yes" said Jack. you know
that soap man who wss here the other
night? Well he took on one OF the
hind wheels. wiped OF all the grease
and eli. and put on Z lot OF tar soap
in its place"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Showing Ones colors-

The superintendent Of a seaman's
mission says that one Of his young sail
ors, who had signed the pledge and worn
the white ribbon. had to enter hospi-
tai later on. The physician prescribed
brandy; but when he saw the ribbon he
changed the medicine. saying: Il can
give you something that will take the
place Of It; never mean TO do anything
that will rouse a dormant appetite If I
can help st." Such an emblem, like the
badges OF certain organizations, is a
positive safeguard. You'll often be
laughed at after you put on this uni
FORM" said Zen. Booth on one oc-
casion TO q company OF the Salvatinn
Army. ''out you'll no; often be tempted
All the devils run from a soldier who
shows his colors."
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
The Golden Rule Applied.

Really. Mr.. Hanson" said the fair
girl, I'm shocked to hear you con-
Tess such behavior in your business
dealings. You should always do unto
others as you would have others do
unto you"
You wouldn't have mo do that al
ways8"
Certainly" she replied; "alwayA"
All right Here goes!" he cried,
and kissed her.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Guarded Against

"If you loved me. why did you, at
first refuse me?"
She-I wanted to see how you would
act
But might have rushed of without
waiting for an explanation"
I'D locked the door" -CasselPs.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Fatigue.

do you think our candidate viii do
all he has promised?"
NO" answered Farmer Corntossal.
He has had to hustle so hard to get
elected that it'll take him bout one
term of Office TO get rested up
Washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Out Of the Question.

We'll" said kwoter. Its a poor
rule that won't work both ways. Now.
there's that fellow Reckless"
"oh," interrupted Digley. you can't
apply any double back-acting rule to
him. You can't make a head-long man
long headed. "-Philadelphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
A Looker-on ln Gotham.

Mrs. Meadow don't wonder there
Is so much poverty in the city. I seen
the cause OF it all the other day when
l was there.
Neighbor-What did you notice?
Mrs. MeadOw-Idleness Never saw
such idleness. Bout half the people
was loa6n' on the corners 1ookin' at
tire thermometers. and the other half
was rushin' around huntin' for stand.
In room near some other Thermometer.
IN. Y. Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Well Rred

"our cooks a wondrous actress"
My wife exclaims 10 me;
Perpleredly ] ask her.
How can the case 80 be1''
ny lifetime partner answers,
As she the coffee doles:
"A very wondrous actress
Quite perfect IN her roles
Town Topics.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
OF Minor Imnnrtan..

I have discovered a wonderful
remedy" said the chemist
What will 1t cureY" asked his
friend.
Il haven't decided yet" replied the
chemist I'm going to take day on
next week and hunt up a suitable die
ease for it"-Chicago Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
He Wanted a Re-seat.

The Girls Father (angrily)-what!
you come here again after the way !
treated you last night? Didn't / Sc;
tie dog on you
Tho Young Man (interrupting)-
That's just 1t. want the piece OF
cloth that he tore out OF my best trous-
ere. cos can't match II at any tall
or's In the town.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Hard for Him

Mr.. Jolley-Its easy to obey the
Biblical injunction when ones neigh
Dor is a pretty girl.
Misc Nexdore-But, surely, II isn't
easy for you.
Mr.. Jolley-o! yes: refer TO the
command to love thy neighbor."
Miss Nexdore-Yes. but the CON-
mand Is really "lo7e thy neighbor an
tayself. "-Philsdelphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Most Pnuerfnl Cruiser

The Natal. launched in England on
September 30. is the most powerful
cruiser in the world. Her tonnage is
1850, she has speed Of % knots and
she carries six 9.2-inch and four 7.5-inch
guns All her guns are loaded and
rotated by hydraulic power.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

Mrs Gramercy-Do you think You
viii be happy in such q place?
Mrs Park-The inducements are en-
tieing- BY acquiring residence there
We will be able to get our divorce and
swear OF our taxes at the same time.
Puck
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

Hanager-So you think you can
stand the arduous duties OF a variety
actor7 You know IN our play we find
occasion 20 throw you down a 32-foot
flight Of stairs into a barrel OF scrap
iron.
II think l can manage IT." said the
hungry man who had applied for a Job.
Il was a debt collector for three
years"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Just So

What becomes OF a Joke when Il gets
too old for the almanac?"
The theatrical programme gets it
then"
And from there It's but step to
the musical comedy, eh9"-Chicago
Sun.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

"Dumley's drumming up trade for
a rope and Irvine house now"
Gee Whit that accounts for f."
"AccouI IS for whatT
Il met him yesterday and he asked
me IL I'd have a cigar. He must have
given RE one OF his samples "-Phila.
delphia Press
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
slII.ng 70 BE Brl bed.

Lady Cat back door)-wen. what Is
It?
Hobo-Please. ma'am, / feels one NV
me periodical fits comm on.
Lady-My goodnessl hope you
won't have 1t here.
Hobo-Dat's list wot / wants ter see
5ouse erbout. Fer de small sum Nv a
dime III go somewhere else an have
1t ma'am.-Chicago Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Hardly

Yftty--Givs me that piece OF cboco-
late mummy. and I'll be so good.
Mother-My dear, you should be good
Tor the sake OF being good, not for
something.
kitty-Surely. mummy. you wouldn't
have me be good for nothing,
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Ample Recolnpensa.

shouldn't think you'd like those
thin walls"
why not?"
you can hear the plano In the next
fat"
Oh but we can hear 'em quarrel,
too--Lcuisville Courier-Iournal
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Bad Sign.

Yeast-Is it bad sign to dream OF
snakes?
Crimsonbeak-Not half so bad as to
see 'em when you're not dreaming
Yonkers Statesman
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

Aistress-Why did you leave your
last place?
Domestic-Th missus had no tact.
num-
Mistress-Ah, I see. That is often
the case
Domestic-Yes. mum. She was al
ways tellin' me to do things. stead OF
&skin' me ton. Y. Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
His Wffe,s Clears

Knicker-The Lord loveth a Cheerful,
giver
Bocker-Yes. but the cheerful recipt-
ent never gets any credit.-N. Y. Sun
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

Bill-To hear that fellow tell fl, he's
landed some OF the biggest jobs In the
country.
Jill-Well. he talks about landing
Jobs Just as an amateur fisherman
talks about landing fish.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

Jack and Mildred. before they were
married. were always Quarreling as 10
whether they would get an automobile
OF horse and trap"
II suppose. of course, Mildred finally
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Mommer,s cnns cent

Mother. may go out TO skater"
Yes. my darling daughter
Now. don't fall down and crack your pata.
But fall as you had oughter."
Town Topics.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

Shaving Soap Man VictiInizes Iced
ing Merchants - 500 Paid for
Every Cake - A Philanthropist
"eives Away" Soap Wrapped II
Twenty-DolIar Bills-A Wonder
full Demonstration with Laundry
Soap-oraftsr Swindles a Circus
Crowd
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

had her way?"
mo; they compromiseu on baby
carriage. Puck.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20
Probably

I am writing a novel now that know
people viii get stuck on"
You mean the bookdealers Pr
Houston Post
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

Another soap CRATER whom I knew
was doing a thriving business follow
ing a cheap circus through the north
west
He carried with him an old-fash-
Toned suit case or hand trunk. Pur-
chasing several large cakes OF wash
Ing soap, he would slice them up into
small cakes, and wrap each one with
paper. After filling the tray OF his
hand trunk with these. he would drive
out IN a horse and buggy and by va
rious methods attract q large crowd.
He would place a soap box upon
the buggy seat. and on top OF this his
hand trunk tho object being b. bring
the latter up high enough. so that no
one standing on the ground could see
into q.
Taking from HIS pocket q roll Of bills
OF large denomination. he would care
fully wrap them around the pieces Of
soap; and rewrapping the latter IN pa
per would place them IN the trunk.
In the meantime he dilated IN a most
interesting manner on how a very rich
uncle had died and left him several
million dollars. part OF which was 70
he given away within ten years He
said he had adopted this method OF
carrying out his uncle's provlso.
Now. gentlemen. he continued, 'Ir
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

ton. Don't expect too much OF me-"
When ready TO close "tho office" as
be drolly expressed IL. he had the eop
part OF his trunk and every pocket
filled with dollar bills.
On returning 10 the hotel, at noon. /
asked him II be had any idea that
anyone got cake OF soap with money
IN t.
He laughed and said n they did IL
was a mistake on mis- part. Then he
explained; In the middle or the tray
OF his hand trsnk was a trap-door
about four inches square. with a thin.
nat, steel spring to hold Il 70 It's place.
AS fast as he wrapped the money
around the soap. he would place the
cakes upon the trap door. and. press
ing the door with his thumb. all would
instantly be transferred 70 another
part OF tho trunk.
stu another soap CRATER. at Mar
Guette. Mich, had a unique method OF
deceiving his audiences.
he was selling what he called the
most powerful cleansing soap on
earth" II was mis- fathers inven-
ton" and a piece the size OF a pea
would make more lather and actually
do a larger washing than could be
done with a whole ba, or ordinary
soap. In much less time.
AS I passed by his room on the
morning OF his arrival. noticed about
two doze" ha~s ~ wa hing soap piled
on the table He was busy cutting
up a lot OF tin-foil to wrap around
the pieces
That evening he drove out upon the
streets end after singing a few SONGS
and playing several popular airs on
the banjo he he~an a very interesting
lecture on the Manufacture OF SOAP
At last he gave small boy quar-
ter TO bring hin n basin OF water
from the town oumn
Meanwhile he broke OF a small
piece from one " these tiny cakes OF
soap, and after rolling IL to about the
shape of a pea he said:
Nov. gentlemen. am going TO give
you the most wonderful demonstration
OF what can be accomplished with
piece or soap. the size OF a pea. that
has ever been shown. upon the face
OF the earth"
Then he produced a clean white
handkerchief, ard. picking I'D
wrench said:
my friends. you all know that there is
nothing harder 70 remove from
garment than axle grease. Now. THIS
buggy belongs to your liveryman. Mr..
-, and 20 give YOU fa'- -~-,or-
test OF the worth Of my wonderful soau.
am now going 20 remove one OF
the wheels from this buggy. and after
thoroughly cleaning the axle with this
perfectly white Handkerchief 7 shall
with no more soap than this piece. the
etze OF pea, proceed TO wash the
handkerchief In this basin OF cold. n ard
water, and make a perfect job OF II. in
side OF one minute by the watch"
Climbing out Of his buggy. and re-
moving one OF its wheels he wiped all
the black tar and grease from the axle.
completely saturating tho handkerchief.
Replacing tho wheel. he climbed
back into the buggy and opening ND
the handkerchief sad:
Gentlemen. do you believe that
there Is housewife in this city who
could wash thie handkerchief clean in
side OF 10 or Is minutes, even II she
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

Jessie-What grounds have you fos
thinking that she loves him?
Jack-He's 500 acres OF the best coaj
lands In the country.-Cincinnau Eu-
Quirer.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

II Was GrS.
sporty young fellow named II
Who Travelled at q rapid IS,
Fifty friends did invite.
To n dinner one mite
That cost him 80 a pIs.
Chicago Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

THREE CHAPTERS
"SoAP" THEIR DUPEs.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1906-01-20

II beg your pardon. but you didn't
speak quick enough" Or IL no me
offered. the CRATER would clip OF the
end, and, looking into the face OF some
other Z an. he would remark (as II the
fellow had offered TO take it):
Il heg your pardon. sir: but you
were too slow. Well, now. we will see
what we have here" Whereupon tho
500 bill would OF course be found. be
cause Il had actually been placed
there.
After criticising HIS audience and
joking them a few moments:
We'll. I am going to try II once
more" be would say. Lets see IL
there is a SPECTATOR In the crowd"
Again he folded the 500 bill length
wise. and apparently wrapping II
around the cake Of soap. he again fold
ed II in its original wrapper.
Now. l wonder II there is a specu-
lator in this crowd with SIS In his
pocket. who will give that amount for
this cake OF soap before cut the end
on. Bear IN mind. I an Offering the
soap. and the soap only. for SIS. Say,
quick, gentlemen. or on II comes"
The merchant, eager to make SIS,
would almost invariably reach for the
cake, and produce forthwith the SIS.
This smooth CRATER told me at the
supper table that for three months be-
fore starting out he practiced the art
Of palmine the 500 and substituting a
one-dollar bill.
He sai5 mat at first he had a great
deal OF trouble with his victims, be-
cause he worked everybody and any
body. However. he soon discovered
That when he landed the leading mer-
chant" OF a town. his victim invariably
went 20 his private Office 20 unwrap
the soap. and on discovering the de-
ception. his pride would deter him
from making an exposure.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1906-10-20
WITHOUT A PARALLEL
Damage Which Has Been Done to
Cotton Seed.

New Orleans. The present situation
in reference to cotton seed is without
parallel in the history Of Southern ag-
riculture and manufactures. At the
lowest calculation, 100000 tons Of
cotton seed which has already been
ginncd or is to be ginned within the
next thirty days has been so damaged
from excess of moisture, termination
of the seed in the open boil and frost
that no one can even approximately
place a valuation on these million tons.
The impossibility of naming fair
price for this damaged seed seems
likely to increase discord between the
planters and the oil mills, leading to
the throwing away of enormous guam
titles of seed on the one hand, and on
the other to the purchase of large guam
titles by mill managers at prices which
mean ruin to their companies.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1906-10-20
CONSCIENCE STRICKEN
CONVERTED TO RELIGION. DE.
sERTER sURRENDuRs.
LEFT NAVY FIVE YEARS AGO
10 Now q Minister, but Believes q
Jealous Woman Gave Detec-
tives = Tip.

Washington, D. C..-Conscience-
stricken, Rev James r. SIayton, Jr.,
presented himself to the assistant sec
retary Of the navy aud asked that be
be arrested for deserving the navy 5
years ago. Slayton said that his con
version to religion and service as a
minister Of the gospel caused him to
see the wrong he had done in leaving
the service and he requested that
he DO tried for the crime. He was
accompanied to the navy department
by officers Of the Salvation Army,
with whom he has been associated in
religious work Mr., Newberry referred
Slayton to Capt Wilson, who is in
charge Of enlisted men.
After hearing slayton's story, the
captain ordered him to report at the
Washington navy yard and surren.
der himself to officers who would
put him in prison and hold him for
courtmartial
Aye, aye, sir. I will report there
on my honor, sir" Slayton replied as
he saluted the officer, and backed
away from him.
An hour later Slayton reported to
the navy yard.
At the navy yard the commandant
told Slayton he could not be held be-
cause of the statue of limitation. Slay-
ton left the navy yard with Brig. Gen.
Little, Of the Salvation Army, and
together they conducted a meeting on
the street when Slayton told the
crowd Of his misfortunes
Slayton was arrested at Myersdale,
Pa, by a detective, but escaped from
lne officer and came to Washington
to surrender himself He explained
to the officers at the navy depart
ment that he is a regularly ordained
minister of the Evangelical assoeia-
tion, and has charge at Myersdale 1t
is charged by Slayton that a woman
In Cleveland, who is jealous Of him.
and was angry because of his recent
marriage to another woman, caused
the detectives to pursue him
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1906-10-20
Not Just at Present.

Cienfuegos.-A statue of Jose Mar
tin, the Washington of Cuba" was
to have been unveiled here Tues.
day, the anniversary of the begin.
ming of the Ten Years War" but
the event was postponed because OF
the fear that it might result in politi.
cal demonstration Large crowds
from the country districts were not
permitted to enter the city.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1906-10-20
MRS. DAVIS DYING.
Sudden Change for Worse in Her
Condition.

New York. Mrs. Jefferson Davis
widow of the president of the Confed.
crate States, is dying of pneumonia at
the Hotel Majestic here. 1t is believed
that she cannot survive more than a
few hours. Mrs. Davis has been i'll
several days, but it had been believed
that she would recover up to last
NIGHT, when sudden change for the
worse was noticed.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1906-10-20
Judge Lurton for Supreme Bench

Washington, 1t was stated tonight
that President Roosevelt had decided
to appoint Judge Horace Lurton of
Nashville to the United States supreme
court bench to succeed Associate JUS
tice Brown of Michigan, who will re-
tire when his successor is named. 1t is
understood that the president will make
the appointment Immediately follow.
ING the return of Secretary Taft from
Cuba. That Judge Lurton will be APP
pointed is the firm opinion of cabinet
member who is strong advocate OF
the great Tennessean.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1906-10-20

Guthrie, Okla,-Adyices from the
important cotton section Of Ok.
lahoma and Indian territory are to the
effect that the crop was materially
damaged by this weeks frost The
crop was practically made but much
of the cotton has not yet matured,
and the plant in that stage will be
killed. A conservative estimate cleaned
from the reports places the yield at
one-half bale per acre.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1906-10-20

Havana-Mrs. Taft and Mrs.
Bacon held a reception in the main
salon of the palace. 1t was attend
ed by several hundred Cubans and 9TH
ers, including almost all the army and
navy officers here. The municipal
band played American and Cuban airs
in the park opposite the palace dur
ing the reception, which was informal
and enjoyable, Gov. Taft gave a din
ner in the palace to the naval officers
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1906-10-20
Accidentally Shot.

DR.. A, NJ, Marion, of Natchez, was
accidentally shot while out hunting.
He had rested his gun, hammerless,
against a persimmon tree, while his
companion climbed the tree to shake
the limb. \ persimmon fell on the
trigger Of the gun and discharged both
barrels, the shot passing through his
left arm and groin.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1906-10-20
Nav Advance Discount Rate

New York--It is considered prob.
able that the Bank Of England will
advance its official rate of discount
in view of the heavy Withdrawals Of
bullion from its already depleted sup
ply, as shown in last weeks state
ment. The bank sent another $3.50,
900 to Egypt Wednesday,
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1906-10-20

London-The idea of sending
British deputation to present the
memorial of sympathy to the dissolved
Russian parliament has been aban-
doned. This means that the memorial
will be taken to St Petersburg by one
member Of tue proposed depu,atioa
and presented without ceremony.