Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1906-06-28

T-E GUINEA or THE ENGLlSHMkN
rs NOT a com AT ALL.
A. Firc" "f Real Money 1t Has No
ENi~scnsc. aud ID L. Used Only In
Tul.z- nation a. "a Rather Awkward
sta.Iard of Monetary Value.
OF au The obstacles that confront the
EuzU~hman tile guinea is the most
amazing The other day an American
quest inquired of me, What is guin.
tls' lie had been asked for one by q
circulating library Ii seems an easy
question to answer. but as | had been
l.zzlIus over the division of an imagi-
uary guinea into four parts the expla-
% uu4 took time Ii was as difficult as
..Hautu- cricket TO German-in
German
show me one" said the American.
confessed that did not possess
nur
What. nat S5.-5|
-Y.e. hut not "a guinea. We don't
have guinea IN England any more"
-l.r YOU talk Ia guineas.'
Lats oar fun, replied lamely.
-.e.,etheIe~> there Is something to be
said f.r our system. Indeed, one might
areu. chat this iuceSSant obstacle race
.4er .he multiplication tables that we
have to enter in~ures a bracing Of the
muscles Ne are always kept on the
alert 10 fathou the relations between q
iottle a perch ana a guinea or some
such absurd and fortuitouS combina-
zion And one may suspect that this
tightening and strengthening of the
muscles lu the obstacle race is really
the source 81 Euslaud'S greatness.
Tor an practical purposes the guinea
sin which We talks the most prepos-
terously absurd coin i'm the world. for
ID does not exist corporcally. Some
few honest citizens wear spade guineas
ou their watch chains But If they tried
90 PASS them over 10 the booking clerk
cn the underground railway they would
D. in danger of the judgment. There
are d. 1uiu.1s Do England. Yes. i'm
imagination they exist
And r-.,r uure accuse yourself Of
belonging o. an unimaginative nation
u shapi,.arer>, The guinea is the coin
~ courtesy. just because it Is not a
coin at au And IFS preservation as an
anomaly is a curious proof Of the in
maize courtesy of the Englishman. who
win face any arithmetical inconvcn-
i.uce rather than put a slur on a
friend.
This YOU may see from the lists Of
subscriptions for the gentleman in dis
trt>~. Nuu cannot offer him the ncCcs-
sarles Of Hfr. When the friend falls
by the wavside 10 must be guineas. not
F1r.rrlgus. that you supply, and one
feels glad that the remarks of the
uean,-t sport that eXists-the sport Of
kings offers prizes in "sovs." 1t is
n.s.Iy tie analogue Of that convention
which regulates gifts between equals.
Etiquette forbids your sending 4
friend a lcg II mutton that Is. a SOW
orei-u. the ordinary, humdrum coin.
Iaf you may send him pheasants, oys-
ter- grouse or salmon, more especially
ii fhr salmon is the victim Of your own
".1le. pole ami perch" Possibly the
~,sI explanation is that. as n matter OF
courtesy. you may not give a man
what Dee could obtain at the nearest
slap-tt must De something that is not
easily lbtainablr
Now. a ~u.uea Is not easily obtaina-
b.e. and the difference between offer
ing man a guiuca and Offering him a
SOVEREIGN SIS the difference between
sending a man a leg Of mutton and
sending him barrel OF oysters. That
little silly shilling stuck on TO the SOY
creigu. that retention Of the ghost OF a
coin long dead and borne on watch
chain. with the locket containing q
twist of great -grpat-auntie's hair, was
Its significant.
II i~ the embodiment of the English
mans innate ldealiSm. II is like the
equally silly "ESq." which we tack on
the names 81 friends. There are no
esquires nowadays and no guineas. but
we see them with the eye of faith.
And we sacr.He. 10 our faith consider
ab.. -r-f.r .rortipn, many blobs Of
iuk ana suudry billings that might
utherwIsa efaak our houses with cheap
reprints - the worlds best books.
Aou VIII naturally conclude that |
did uat put thi- view before my Amer
icaa friend lie would scarcely under
zfall .t J I,-l him gently 10 the pala
tal bank premises into which | hur-
richly east my weekly wage for fear
should Jose Il ou the way home and
pointed out to him lowering my voice
,.-glretIy. as becomes the suppliant In
the temple of wealth.
"Note that young man." ] said. He
is adding MP three columns Of figures
There are guiucas. things that won't
fraterulze vie. half crowns or four
ehuliu. rIece~ or flOrins or half sover-
efgns ar Soryreigns. but you VIII per
c-ite THAT This young man is taking
them Cd DIS stride Now. what about
bis musgless
Il should conclude" said the Ameri-
can guest thoughtfully, that young
man who can put u gulneas together
end make 'om' dollars can do any
thing"
Tho guinea" / explained as we
went cU, uto Piccadiily 'is the source
a. Tl.laa#s greatness" And the
American guest remained thoughtful
London Chronici.
Nt-Ietor Myths.